ã€ŠBrothers.ã€‹


 Authors Note

    Being an only child, I¡¯ve always wondered what having siblings is like. Some have told me it¡¯s great, while some say it¡¯s hell on earth. I guess it¡¯s a bit of both. When I imagine having another person with the exact same blood as me, living in my house every day, it seems so strange. So, with that wonder and curiosity within me, I created a whole new story out of it. I present to you my newest novel, Brothers. God bless you, and enjoy the book!

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author¡¯s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

    This story contains triggering themes including but not limited to: physical, emotional, and mental abuse; mentions (but no descriptive depictions) of sexual abuse; and suicidal depictions and actions. Reader discretion is advised. Chapters with trigger warnings will have summaries at the bottom for those that want to skip.

 Prologue- Perfect Days are One in a Million

    My favorite show is Hops. It¡¯s about a fun bunny rabbit. And Hops always says that ¡®Perfect days are one in a million¡¯. That means that they don¡¯t happen a lot.

    I got the one in a million today, because all day, I didn¡¯t feel sad, or mad, or bored, or anything bad today. I didn¡¯t cry even once! I didn¡¯t fall over or get a boo-boo, or drop something and break it. I was happy every single minute. So it was a perfect day.

    We all readed what Miss Kramer put on the big board. ¡°Today is Tuesday, November 8<sup>th</sup>, 2011. Today, we learned how to count to fifteen, how to mix colors, and how to sing Old McDonald had a Farm.¡±

    ¡°Very good! Clap your hands!¡± She clapped with us. ¡°Now, bus kids line up at the door on the left side, car kids on the right. Let¡¯s pack up and go!¡±

    I got my lunch box and my backpack and lined up with the bus kids. My bestest friend Thelma lined up in front of me. She was really cool and she had those glasses I always wanted to wear, but Mommy said it was only for kids with bad seeing, so I wasn¡¯t allowed to wear them, because I could see good. She was also super-duper smart!

    Miss Kramer leaded us to the big doors of the preschool, which was called First Steps Preschool. She stopped, so everyone had to stop, too.

    ¡°Diana! Look at my springy!¡± My friend Celeste runned to me with a thing in her hand. It looked fun. It had colors of the rainbow, and it looked like a bunch of stars on top of each other.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s called a springy!¡± she said. ¡°See? It¡¯s like a big string, and it¡¯s like a star, and it all bounces together! See?¡± She pulled it and pushed it together. It was really funny. We giggled.

    ¡°Can I try it?¡± Thelma asked.

    Celeste¡¯s face went angry. ¡°No! You have to be four!¡±

    Thelma¡¯s face went sad. She was three, and she was gonna be four in March.

    ¡°Can I try?¡± I asked Celeste.

    ¡°Okay.¡± She smiled really nice to me and gived it to me. I played with it.

    ¡°Celeste, get back in line, please,¡± Miss Kramer said.

    Celeste runned back to the back of the line. Her family¡¯s name was Zucker, so she had to go all the way to the end of the alphabet.

    ¡°Here.¡± I talked really quiet so nobody could hear me. I gived Thelma the springy and put my finger on my mouth, because that meaned to be quiet.

    She smiled. ¡°Thank you!¡± she said loud.

    I put my finger on my mouth again. ¡°Shh!¡±

    She covered her mouth. ¡°Thank you,¡± she said more quiet.

    We went to the bus place and Miss Kramer called our names so we could get on the big bus. I went up the little stairs to the bus and sitted next to the window near the front. It was my favoritest spot.

    Thelma sitted next to me. She looked really happy, too. We both got the most perfect day ever today.

    Celeste Zucker walked inside the bus last. Thelma gived me the springy, because Celeste was gonna be angry if she seed Thelma with it. I didn¡¯t like when other kids were mad at me. And today was a perfect day. So mad and sad wasn¡¯t allowed.

    The bus moved and the school got smaller and smaller until I couldn¡¯t see it anymore. Buses and cars were magic! The world moved around me, and stuff got smaller when I leaved it. It shrinked behind me, and the stuff in front of me growed until it was big enough to go inside.

    The bus stopped at our street, Waterfield Street. Thelma went to her house and said bye. I walked all the way to my house all by myself. My mommy said I was inpendent. That meaned you didn''t have a pendent, and people weren¡¯t doing things for you all the time. I was a big girl.

    I singed the Perfect Day song that Hops always singed. ¡°Nothing bad, nothing mad, nothing sad¡­ no, no, today is a perfect day! Today is a perfect day! Nothing can go wrong on¡­¡±

    I stopped at my house. Something looked¡­ diffrent. Daddy said diffrent was good, but this kind of diffrent was the kind I didn¡¯t like. It maked me scared inside, like something bad. There was always light in the big glass windows. But it was dark. There was no light.

    No. Nothing bad. Today was s¡¯posed to be perfect. So nothing bad was gonna happen.

    I went up the steps to the porch place and turned the door-knob. It didn¡¯t move. Daddy telled me that meaned it was locked. So I needed a key. But not a toy key. A real one.

    I remembered Mommy put a key under the welcome mat. I looked under the mat and finded the key. It was cold and sharpish, and it was maked out of metal.

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    What did Mommy say? Lefty-loosy¡­

    I put it inside the little hole in the door and turned it to the left. I heard a click and something moved. When I moved the door-knob, the door opened.

    I smiled. I opened the door all by myself. So it was a perfect day!

    I went inside my house and took my winter things off. It was kinda dark, but the sun had light. Mommy and Daddy weren¡¯t here like always. It was empty.

    ¡°Mommy? Daddy?¡± They were quiet, so that meaned they weren¡¯t here.

    I taked the key out of the hole, closed the door, and turned the lock. Mommy said that a bad guy could come in if I leaved it open.

    I went to the kitchen. It was my favorite part of the house because I got to eat. There was something on the refigirater. It was a piece of paper with my name on it. I took it off the refigirater and readed it.

    Diana, Mommy and Daddy went to do some important things. We won¡¯t be back until 4:00.

    I looked at the electric clock. It said 3:05.

    Your food is in the fridge in a blue box. It¡¯s supposed to be cold, so do not use the microwave.

    I didn¡¯t like the microwave. Thelma telled me it catched fire.

    We also left a cup of milk next to the box. Do not open the door to anyone, keep the doors and windows locked, and call us if you need any help. We left the extra smartphone on the dining table.

    The smartphone was like a phone, but smart. I knowed how to call people there.

    Daddy¡¯s phone number is (208) 390-8664 and Mommy¡¯s number is (208) 235-8796. If there¡¯s an emergency and you can¡¯t call us, go to a neighbor¡¯s house. You can go to the Hortons¡¯ across the street.

    I liked the Hortons. They were super nice.

    If the emergency is really bad, call 911 and give your address. If there¡¯s a bad guy, ask for the police; if you¡¯re seriously hurt, ask for the ambulance; and if there¡¯s a fire, the firetruck.

    ¡°Okay, Mommy,¡± I said.

    We love you. Mommy and Daddy

    I went to the refigirater and opened it, and I finded the blue box Mommy said about. It had my favorite food, pasta salad! I knew I would get my favorite food today!

    I taked a fork and bringed the food to the table with my milk. I said a prayer like Mommy and Daddy teached me, with my hands together. ¡°Thank you, God, for this meal, for making it so yummy; now today, and for real, I¡¯m gonna fill my tummy. Amen.¡±

    I finished my food and went to watch TV. When the TV turned on, it had the boring news on it. A man was talking on it, and there was a picture next to him. It looked like a car, but it was all weird, like smashed up.

    It was the same color as my mommy and daddy¡¯s car, which was red. It was under a truck. The picture changed to another smashed up car that was blue, and it was smashed with a green car.

    ¡°¡­ just happened on the highway. We¡¯re not sure what caused the pile-up, but it¡¯s definitely fatal; five cars and one cargo truck were involved. Paramedics are working to free the trapped passengers¡­¡±

    How was I supposed to change it? Daddy always changed the screen.

    On the remote controller, I pressed all the buttons that had numbers on them. That made the screen change to other stuff, and I finded a cartoon. I giggled and bounced onto the sofa to watch it. It was always so much fun watching cartoons, but it was most fun with my mommy and daddy.

    But they weren¡¯t here, so I got to watch even more than one show! They always telled me not to watch too much TV, or my brain would get killed. But Thelma telled me that wasn¡¯t true because her brain didn¡¯t get killed, and she watched a lot of TV!

    They always said only one show, but I watched¡­ like a hundred! It really was a perfect day. ¡°Perfect, perfect, perfect day¡­¡± I singed the song from Hops. I was gonna tell Mommy and Daddy all about today when they came back. Maybe they weren¡¯t gonna be mad if I watched a lot of TV.

    I turned off the TV with the big red button and looked out the window. The sun was less bright now. When I looked at the clock, I didn¡¯t feel that happy anymore.

    It said 4:56.

    I runned to the dining table and looked at the note Mommy left. She said they¡¯d be back at 4:00. That was a zillion trillion minutes!

    No. No crying. Today was s¡¯posed to be perfect, so no crying allowed. Mommy and Daddy were okay. They said that sometimes, people were late to stuff.

    But late was bad, right?

    Nothing bad could happen on a perfect day¡­ that meaned today wasn¡¯t perfect, right? But I wanted it to be¡­ it feeled like one.

    I got the smartphone and went to the phone picture at the bottom. There were numbers on the screen. I readed Daddy¡¯s number on the note and put it on the screen so I could call him.

    It started making a long, beeping sound. Mommy was always really quiet when that sound started, so I stayed really, really quiet.

    ¡°Hello, you¡¯ve reached Stuart Watson. Unfortunately, I can¡¯t answer the phone right now¡­¡±

    ¡°Daddy? Daddy, it¡¯s me, Diana,¡± I said to him.

    ¡°¡­ please leave a message and I¡¯ll get back to you.¡±

    There was a beep after. Then quiet.

    ¡°Um¡­ Daddy? It¡¯s me, Diana. Can you hear me?¡±

    Quiet again.

    ¡°You said you¡¯d be back at four-oh-oh. What happened? Are you okay, Daddy? Is it a ¡®mergency?¡±

    He wasn¡¯t talking.

    ¡°Am I supposed to call 911? What¡¯s going on, Daddy? Is Mommy there? Mommy, are you there?¡±

    Mommy didn¡¯t talk, either. Maybe she only talked on her phone number.

    I looked at the screen and pushed the red button to stop it. I put Mommy¡¯s number on the screen and waited for the long beeping to stop.

    ¡°This is Charlotte Watson. Unfortunately, I¡¯m unavailable right now. Please leave a message!¡±

    There was a beep again. Mommy didn¡¯t say anything anymore.

    ¡°Mommy? Mommy, can you hear me? Are you there?¡±

    She was quiet.

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you saying anything? Are you okay?¡±

    She didn¡¯t say anything to me.

    I did a sigh. ¡°I love you.¡± I stopped the call with the red button again.

    I went to the window again and looked at the Horton¡¯s house. Mommy said to go there if there was a ¡®mergency. Was this a ¡®mergency?

    I feeled like something really bad happened. And ¡®mergencies were supposed to be bad. So today wasn¡¯t perfect like I thinked. That maked me sad.

    So I put my jacket on, ¡®cause it was really cold, and went outside all by myself. I looked both ways and walked across the street, just like Daddy said. Thinking about Daddy maked me miss him. And Mommy. I didn¡¯t like when they weren¡¯t home. I was inpendent, but I loved my mommy and daddy. I was a big girl, but I wasn¡¯t an ¡®adult¡¯ like them. There were lots of big kids bigger than me, and they still wanted their mommies and daddies.

    I ringed the doorbell at the Hortons¡¯ house. There were feet walking and then the door opened.

    ¡°Oh¡­ hi, Diana, sweetie. What are you doing here?¡± Mrs. Horton said.

    ¡°Mommy and Daddy haven¡¯t come back yet,¡± I said.

    She looked at my house. ¡°They left you alone?¡±

    ¡°Mommy gived me a note and she said they would be here at four-oh-oh. And they¡¯re not here.¡±

    Mrs. Horton did a weird sad face. ¡°Come on in, sweetheart. You can play with Ellie.¡±

    I went inside the house and she closed the door.

 1~ Family Number 23

    August 10<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    The trees and houses rolled past the car window in a colorful blur, forcing my eyes to follow them left to right. I leaned in the seat, my nose taking in the familiar, minty scent of Mr. Brian¡¯s car.

    ¡°Did you sleep okay?¡± Mr. Brian suddenly asked me.

    I thought it was weird for him to suddenly ask about my sleep like that, but I answered anyway. ¡°Uh¡­ yeah. I guess.¡±

    ¡°Did you eat?¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    ¡°What did you eat?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°I dunno. Food.¡±

    A pause.

    ¡°What kind of food?¡±

    ¡°Why do you care?¡± I snapped.

    Used to my usual attitude, he sighed. ¡°Because I care.¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± was all I could say.

    The car slowed to a stop at a red light. He glanced at me through the rearview mirror. ¡°Diana, I¡¯m trying. Okay? But if you¡¯re going to go in with that attitude-¡± he started.

    ¡°Who cares about my attitude? It doesn¡¯t make a difference.¡±

    ¡°Yes, it does. I have high hopes for this family.¡±

    ¡°Like you did for the last one? And the one before that? And the one before-¡±

    ¡°This one¡¯s different, I promise.¡± A hint of desperation laced his voice.

    I knew he meant well, but after trial and error for 12 years, I was getting pretty sick of the whole procedure. ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about my ¡®attitude¡¯,¡± I told him. ¡°I¡¯ll smile, be polite. I¡¯ll act like you want me to. But stop trying to convince me to be optimistic.¡±

    The light turned green. He turned left towards the caf¨¦.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Diana. I¡­ I really want you to be happy is all.¡± He chuckled humorlessly. ¡°If I could adopt you myself, I would.¡±

    I looked at him again, this time with shock. He never said anything like that before. ¡°You mean that?¡± I asked.

    He parked and turned off the car. He turned to look at me from the driver¡¯s seat. ¡°Of course I mean it. I know I¡¯ve failed you time and time again, and I¡¯m truly sorry. Unfortunately, the decisions aren¡¯t all left up to me. Just know I really am doing my best.¡±

    Mr. Brian was the caseworker I trusted the most. I was closest to him out of everyone else. But he¡¯d never been this¡­ open? I wasn¡¯t sure how to describe it.

    I smiled a bit, genuinely. ¡°Okay.¡±

    He smiled back at me. ¡°Okay.¡±

    We got out of the car and headed up to the caf¨¦. It wasn¡¯t common for me to meet the family before moving in with them, so I wondered how this would go.

    It didn¡¯t matter how many times I¡¯d moved, how many doors would open and reveal a new face¡ª I was always scared. Always anticipating something bad.

    22 placements in total. 11 years and 6 months since I was taken out of my aunt¡¯s and put into the system. But it felt like twice the amount.

    Step one, assess their appearance.

    Step two, watch their expressions.

    Step three¡­

    We entered and walked up to a booth for four. A couple sat together, talking.

    ¡°Mr. and Mrs. Field?¡± Mr. Brian said. Both glanced at us and rose from their seats.

    Family number 23.

    Over the years, I¡¯d learned when to stand up with my fists clenched, and when to duck my head in submission¡­ most of the time. I also knew who was gullible enough to believe me when I lied my way out of a situation I didn¡¯t like. But to know everything, I needed to get as much as I could out of the first meeting.

    Step one: assess their appearance.

    Don¡¯t judge a book by its cover, they¡¯d say, but in this case, covers were sometimes important. It was the first impression. And soon, I¡¯d know whether they¡¯d stick to that impression or do a 180 the minute I stepped through their front door.

    The woman was pretty. She had wavy, light blond hair like mine. Her eyes were bright green, like the trees were in the summer. The man had dirty blond hair and deep ocean-blue eyes. They wore business-casual clothing; what one would wear to a meeting in the morning. Maybe they worked in an office or a company.

    They looked nice. Didn¡¯t mean they were nice. But in terms of appearance, they didn¡¯t seem dangerous.

    In fact¡­ they reminded me of someone. I couldn¡¯t place who. I was sure I¡¯d never seen them in my life. Maybe I¡¯d seen them around the area?

    Step two: watch their expressions.

    This was when they felt¡­ off.

    They had no fake smile, no lustful stare, no cruel glint in their eyes. There wasn¡¯t hesitance or signs of inexperience. I could sense kindness and genuineness, but something was¡­ weird. They were pale, their eyes were wide, and their mouths were half-open, as if they¡¯d seen a ghost.

    I self-consciously patted my hair down. Or was it my makeup? My bruises were probably still visible¡ª I¡¯d only left the Masons¡¯ a week ago¡­ after two years with them.

    My nervous habit seemed to wake them up. They blinked and gave us embarrassed smiles.

    ¡°Is everything all right?¡± Mr. Brian asked.

    ¡°Oh, um, yes. We¡¯re sorry.¡± The woman, Mrs. Field, motioned for us to sit.

    ¡°I¡¯d like to present Diana Watson,¡± Mr. Brian said, patting my shoulder. ¡°Diana, these are Susan and Davis Field. They¡¯ve agreed to take you in for at least six months¡­ if not more.¡± He smiled. ¡°How about you tell Diana who you are and what she should expect?¡± he prodded them.

    Mrs. Field nodded and turned to me with a genuine smile. This completed step two; she didn¡¯t ignore me, pretending I wasn¡¯t there. She didn¡¯t immediately double-check if they could give me back when they wanted to. She was talking directly to me. That was a good sign.

    But there was still that little glint in their eyes¡­

    It was indescribable. That was rare for me. I was used to knowing little glances, twitches, and whatnot. What was this?

    Step three: listen to them carefully.

    ¡°Diana, it¡¯s a pleasure to meet you.¡±

    I plastered on a smile. ¡°Likewise, Mrs. Field.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you can call us Davis and Susan, if you want,¡± said Mr. Field. ¡°A first-name basis is alright with us. Unless you¡¯re not comfortable?¡±

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    I blinked, a bit surprised, and glanced at Mr. Brian. He subtly nodded and smiled. He had that look¡ª the ¡®I told you so¡¯. He hardly ever got to say that, so I let him whenever he got the chance, despite how annoying his smugness was.

    ¡°Uh¡­ yeah, sure.¡± I cleared my throat. ¡°I¡¯m comfortable, Mist- I mean, Davis.¡±

    He chuckled lightly with a warm smile, which spread to me. The mood and tension lightened just a bit.

    ¡°Well, anyway, we wanted to assure you that you¡¯ll be happy with us,¡± Mrs. Field¡ª Susan¡ª continued for him. ¡°You¡¯ll also be around people your age. We have four sons.¡±

    I raised my brows. ¡°Four¡­ sons?¡±

    ¡°Our oldest is Kyle,¡± said Davis, ¡°who¡¯s 20; then there¡¯s Jack, who¡¯s 19; Tommy is our 18-year old; and Harry is our youngest at 17.¡±

    ¡°All one year apart?¡± I quirked a brow.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ we¡¯ve got a story.¡± Susan laughed. My ears perked up at the slight falter in her laughter. It was just a lilt in her voice, barely audible.

    Below the table, I gave Mr. Brian a light kick on his shin. He inhaled, shifting in his seat. Four sons? Four sons?! Was he serious?

    ¡°Now, how about you tell us about you?¡± Davis asked. ¡°We¡¯d like to know everything about you, all the way down to your favorite ice cream flavor.¡±

    They really seemed¡­ nice. Actually nice. I hadn¡¯t met a family like this in so long¡­

    I smiled again, this time sincerely. I didn¡¯t let my guard down, though. It could be a false sense of security.

    It was a nice chat. They peppered me with all sorts of questions: what my favorite color was, favorite food, what kind of room I would like.

    Step four and step five would have to wait until I moved in with them on Tuesday. In the meanwhile, I¡¯d moved in with a temp; an old, handicapped woman named Mrs. Mervin. She was nice to me, like a sweet old grandma. I¡¯d been taking care of her the past few days.

    After the meeting, we returned to the car, the sun already setting. I didn¡¯t even realize how much time had passed. It was such a pleasant conversation.

    ¡°You feel good?¡± Mr. Brian asked me.

    Slowly, I nodded. ¡°Yeah. I feel good.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for not telling you about their sons. I knew you wouldn¡¯t want to even meet them if I told you, so¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I guess¡­ there just aren¡¯t many options.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve evaluated them as carefully as we could. Those boys won¡¯t hurt you. I promise.¡±

    I held up my hand as I got in the car. ¡°I¡¯ll be the judge of that.¡±

    ~~~

    August 15<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    I hauled my two bags out of Mrs. Mervin¡¯s home. Susan and Davis were in the car out front. Susan got out and walked up to me. ¡°You need a hand?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ yeah, just with these, if you don¡¯t mind.¡±

    ¡°Of course I don¡¯t.¡± She glanced down at the trash bags I gave her, her smile wavering. ¡°Do you have anything else?¡±

    ¡°Nope, this is it.¡± I hoisted my old backpack a bit higher. The straps were pretty worn out.

    She glanced at the bags again before nodding and taking them to the car. I knew what she was thinking. As one of my other caseworkers said, the trash bags were good enough.

    I got in the backseat after putting my things in the trunk. As we drove away, I glanced back at Mrs. Mervin¡¯s little house.

    No turning back now.

    ¡°Diana, we weren¡¯t sure if you had dinner yet,¡± Susan said. ¡°We usually have dinner a bit earlier, but if you¡¯re hungry, we can cook you a good meal. It¡¯s pretty late, so-¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s good, Susan. I ate just before you came, so I¡¯m not hungry. Thank you.¡±

    ¡°Um, also, we still have a few last-minute things to add to your room, so you won¡¯t be able to go in right away¡­ you could spend time getting to know our sons in the meantime. That is, if you want. If you¡¯re comfortable.¡±

    I hesitated, but nodded. ¡°Uh, sure. Yeah, I¡¯d like to meet them, talk with them.¡±

    ¡°Susan.¡± I could see Davis glance at his wife through the rearview mirror.

    ¡°And we could give you a little tour of the house. It¡¯s not that big, but it has a lot of rooms. We¡¯re a big family, so¡­¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    ¡°Susan,¡± Davis repeated.

    ¡°Oh, and our kids have their own chores. Um¡­ they usually take turns washing dishes and cooking. We read in your file that you like cooking, so are you okay taking a turn with that?¡±

    That seemed fair. They all did chores. A good change of pace. ¡°I¡¯m okay with any chores,¡± I said with a smile.

    Davis cleared his throat urgently. ¡°Susan.¡±

    They communicated through glances. I could only see Davis¡¯s blue eyes, which looked at her intently while briefly raising his brows.

    ¡°Um¡­ there¡¯s just a little¡­ issue we need to warn you about,¡± she said.

    I knew it. Here it was. The bad side. There was always some kind of catch, some little condition that overpowered the ¡®happy little family¡¯ act.

    ¡°Our sons might be a bit¡­ um¡­ cold,¡± she started tentatively. ¡°They were¡­ not that happy with us about taking in a foster kid. I guess they¡¯re going off of the¡­ stereotypes. So we¡¯re sorry in advance if they¡¯re rude.¡±

    Davis cleared his throat again.

    Susan started speaking a bit rapidly. ¡°But I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll loosen up once they get to know you. They should get used to you being around.¡±

    He sighed, seeming tense. She cleared her throat, tucking her hair behind her ear.

    I stared at them. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ no problem.¡±

    There was silence.

    Well, apparently this was the end of step three. There was something going on here. These guys were hiding something about themselves.

    ¡°Sorry we didn¡¯t mention it yesterday,¡± Susan said, breaking the silence. ¡°We didn¡¯t want to ward you off from staying with us.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s alright. Not like I have a choice, anyway,¡± I chuckled awkwardly.

    Silence again. Maybe that wasn¡¯t the best choice of words.

    We soon arrived at our destination. The earlier tension dissipated and I relaxed just a bit when I saw their house. It was one of the nicest I¡¯d seen. It was painted robin¡¯s egg blue and had a flower garden in the front yard. A white fence surrounded a small porch, and large windows brimmed with golden light.

    I followed Susan up the porch stairs. She took out her keys and opened the door. Pausing, she looked at me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Could you¡­ wait here a sec?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± I stepped back.

    She went inside. Murmurs echoed. I took a deep breath and shifted on my feet.

    Step four: meet the family. This step was basically a repeat of the previous three steps, but with the rest of the family members.

    Mrs. Field opened the door for me. ¡°Okay. Come in, Diana.¡±

    I took a deep breath and stepped inside, my hands clutching the backpack straps over my shoulders. It was the one the Thomas¡¯s bought me when I went to school for a few months in 5<sup>th</sup> Grade.

    I missed them.

    ¡°Everyone, this is Diana Watson. Diana, these are our sons.¡± Mrs. Field smiled nervously.

    When I looked at them, I got the same feeling of familiarity. I knew I¡¯d seen them before¡­ but where? Maybe they reminded me of someone?

    They were lined up from oldest to youngest. Kyle was just as tall as his dad¡ª maybe almost 6 feet¡ª also sharing his dirty blond hair. He had a dimpled chin and thick eyebrows. His eyes were sort of sea-greenish¡ª a perfect blend of his parents¡¯.

    Kind of like my eyes, actually. I had my mother¡¯s eyes; sea green with a hint more blue.

    Jack was next. He had dark brown hair and his eyes were pure blue. He was almost as tall as Kyle. His skin was slightly tanned and his nose was just a little crooked¡­ unless it was just the angle.

    Tommy was a lot shorter than the others, but he was still a bit taller than me. His hair was a lighter blond, and spiky from an abundance of hair gel. He had his mother¡¯s grass-green eyes. He was a little lankier than his brothers, though I could see some muscle underneath his tight T-shirt.

    Harry had dirty blond hair and rosy, roundish cheeks, with a dimpled chin like Kyle¡¯s. He had brown eyes, unlike the rest of his family. He was a few inches taller than Tommy.

    Step one complete; they were tall, strong boys. A possible threat, if they were violent. As for step two, their expressions mirrored their parents¡¯ when I met them. Eyes wide and blank, faces pale, mouths agape.

    Evidently, I wasn¡¯t as good at putting on makeup as I thought. I patted down my hair nervously.

    ¡°Boys, aren¡¯t you going to say anything?¡± Susan asked them.

    They glanced at her, then at each other. ¡°Um¡­ it¡¯s nice to meet you, Diana.¡± Kyle stepped forward and shook my hand, followed by the others. ¡°I¡¯m Kyle, and these are my brothers-¡ª Jack, Tommy, and Harry.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s, um¡­ it¡¯s nice to meet you, too,¡± I said with a tiny smile.

    Davis came in with my two trash bags and put them down. ¡°How about we leave you guys to get to know her? You can go down to the den and talk.¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ sure. No problem.¡± Kyle smiled thinly and motioned for me to follow them.

    I smiled at their parents as we left. We went through a small hallway next to the stairs and entered a large, spacious room. A large sofa and chairs surrounded a coffee table. In front of them, a TV was set up with a PS5. Two speakers flanked the TV table and some bookcases lined the walls. In front of the door was a pool table.

    ¡°Your house is really nice,¡± I commented.

    ¡°Thanks.¡±

    I stopped, shivering inwardly.

    Step four; part three. Kyle¡¯s demeanor and tone had changed. His muscles were now slightly tense and his voice was steely cold.

    They all plopped onto the sofa. The TV was on, showing a first-person shooter game, and it had four wireless controllers connected. An almost-empty bowl of nachos sat on the coffee table along with a few crushed soda cans.

    Kyle took a nacho and tossed it into his mouth. ¡°Equip the bomb gun. That way we don¡¯t die this time,¡± he said.

    I timidly walked up to them, feeling the entire atmosphere change from warm and comforting to chilly and alienating. A familiar feeling.

    Okay¡­ step four, complete. This was what their parents were talking about. And I highly doubted they¡¯d ¡®get used to me¡¯ as Susan hoped¡ª the tone and attitude they were exhibiting already told me they were going to make my life miserable.

    Although, I didn¡¯t feel like I was in any danger of being physically harmed. So at least I felt safe in that regard.

    We¡¯d just met, so it was best to take a neutral approach. Despite their attitude, the house was beautiful, and their parents were willing to give me a proper room and meals. I didn¡¯t want to screw that up.

    Tentatively, I moved to sit on the sofa chair. Maybe I could just¡­ watch them play?

    ¡°Oh, um¡­¡± Kyle snapped his fingers in succession, trying to recall my name.

    ¡°Diana,¡± I said.

    ¡°Diana. Could you do us a favor?¡± He paused the game and grabbed the empty bowl, holding it out to me. ¡°Refill that with some nachos, will you?¡±

    Bingo. Reluctantly, I stood, taking the bowl.

    ¡°Mix it in with some pretzels,¡± followed Tommy.

    ¡°And throw these away. Get us some cold ones.¡± Harry gathered the soda cans and put them in the bowl.

    Okay. I was the chore girl again. Considering the fact that I spent the last two years on a farm picking up pig poop, this wasn¡¯t so bad.

    ¡°Anything else?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Yeah, could you make some grilled ham and cheese sandwiches?¡± said Jack, resuming their game. ¡°Mom and Dad said you knew how to cook.¡±

    ¡°I sure can. So¡­ nachos with pretzels, four sodas, and four grilled ham and cheeses?¡±

    ¡°You got it. Thanks a bunch,¡± Kyle said without looking at me.

    ¡®Thanks¡¯, huh? That was good enough.

 2~ First Breakfast

    August 16<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    A typical morning for me was waking up with a start, muscles tense, skin sweaty, and heart pounding. Rarely did I ever get a full night¡¯s sleep and wake up peacefully. This morning, my eyes snapped open, then squeezed shut again from the sunlight coming from the window.

    I was calmer than usual¡ª I wasn¡¯t sure why. I somehow managed to calm my heart a bit easier after the nightmare.

    As I rose, I took a few breaths, focusing on today¡¯s plans. We were all going out for breakfast.

    Susan had left me new clothes in the closet last night. Surprisingly, they all fit me very well. She also bought me a new purse. I¡¯d never used a purse before. The closest I had was my old backpack.

    What would I put in it? Makeup, maybe? I didn¡¯t have anything else to carry; Jordan destroyed my old phone last month¡­ on my birthday.

    I put on a purple long-sleeved shirt and jeans with white sneakers. As I started combing my hair, there was a knock at the door. ¡°Diana? It¡¯s Susan.¡±

    A bit of relief came at the gesture. Respect for privacy was like gold for me. Very hard to find. ¡°Come in!¡±

    She opened the door and smiled at my outfit. ¡°I¡¯m glad they fit you.¡±

    ¡°Thanks for the clothes,¡± I said.

    ¡°Listen, um¡­¡± She stepped forward, wringing her hands. ¡°There¡¯s been a little change of plans. We, uh¡­ decided not to go out today. Is that okay with you? I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    I paused from combing. ¡°Oh¡­ uh, yeah, that¡¯s fine. There¡¯s no problem.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. You were looking forward to it, weren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to eating,¡± I laughed.

    She smiled. ¡°I¡¯m going to make blueberry pancakes. You okay with that, or did you want something else?¡±

    ¡°That sounds delicious.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll call you down when it¡¯s ready.¡±

    Blueberry pancakes. I hadn¡¯t had good pancakes in a long time. I¡¯d made them before, but I was never allowed to eat them. If I did, they would be burnt or undercooked.

    ¡°Kids! Come down!¡± Susan soon called.

    I came out of my room, seeing the boys already disappearing down the stairs. I didn¡¯t know how they stayed healthy with the way they ate. Maybe they did sports.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± said Davis, who served himself coffee. ¡°How¡¯d you sleep, Diana?¡±

    ¡°Okay, thanks.¡± I inhaled through my nose. The pancakes smelled delicious.

    I approached the dining table, moving to a seat. Tommy suddenly swooped in and blocked me, sitting down. Sighing, I shrugged and went to another chair, but Jack took it. I finally sat between Kyle and Tommy.

    ¡°Here we are.¡± Susan and Davis came over with the stack of pancakes. They set the plate down and everyone reached over and grabbed one. I hesitated, waiting for the smallest or most burnt pancake.

    ¡°Diana, aren¡¯t you going to take one?¡± Susan asked me as she served everyone coffee.

    I checked the last pancake. It wasn¡¯t burnt at all. I smiled gratefully and moved the pancake to my plate.

    ¡°Do you want coffee, or something else?¡± Davis asked.

    ¡°Uh¡­ water is okay.¡±

    ¡°You sure?¡± He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. ¡°We¡¯ve got milk¡ª lactose-free¡ª, orange juice, apple juice¡­ a lot of juices. We have soda, too. Boys, what do you want besides coffee?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± said Kyle. Him, Jack, and Harry had coffee mugs, Tommy being the exception.

    ¡°Green Pop,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°Orangeade,¡± Harry called.

    ¡°Diana?¡±

    ¡°I guess¡­ orange juice?¡± I said, unsure.

    Davis served us all our drinks, smiling at me. Once everyone had their meals, the parents sat down and extended their hands. I quickly put down my utensils. Susan and Davis had mentioned their religion to me the other day¡ª they were Christian Presbyterian.

    As they began praying, Kyle and Tommy pulled their hands away from me. I joined my hands together instead and respectfully waited. It gave me a bit of nostalgia, reminding me of the prayer my parents taught me. I didn¡¯t really remember it, though¡­ it had the words ¡®yummy¡¯ and ¡®tummy¡¯, but that was all I recalled.

    ¡°Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful food You¡¯ve provided for us, and please provide for those that don¡¯t have food. Amen.¡±

    ¡°Amen.¡± Everyone started eating. I cut a small piece of pancake and chewed. I stopped.

    ¡°This is delicious,¡± I blurted out.

    Susan smiled humbly. ¡°Thank you, Diana. You¡¯re not going to put syrup?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ can I?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± She passed me the maple syrup. I eagerly poured a bit over the thick pancake.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I can eat so much,¡± I said.

    ¡°Is it too big? The pancake?¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s great. I¡¯m just¡­ not used to eating so much.¡±

    ¡°I can see that,¡± Tommy remarked.

    I looked at him. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Nothing.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d eat the whole thing if I were you,¡± said Jack. ¡°You need the nutrition.¡± He gave me a once-over.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry if you can¡¯t eat it all, okay? We don¡¯t want you getting sick,¡± said Susan, oblivious to the passive-aggressive tone in Jack¡¯s voice¡ª unless she chose to ignore it.

    I kept a steady glare on him as I continued eating. ¡°I¡¯ll eat it all. Thank you.¡±

    I regretted saying that, but I wasn¡¯t giving the brothers the satisfaction. I didn¡¯t know why, but their hidden dislike for me was really irritating me. It was as if I would¡¯ve been less insulted if they called me a ¡®skeleton¡¯ to my face.

    Why was this bothering me so much? These boys¡­ they weren¡¯t any different from any other foster siblings. I tried to shrug it off and enjoy my breakfast.

    ¡°Jack, you never told us where Amelia decided to go to school,¡± said Susan.

    ¡°Oh, yeah. She¡¯s going to Waterford.¡±

    ¡°Aw, she¡¯s not going to Greenfield?¡±

    Jack shrugged. ¡°She didn¡¯t feel like it was the school for her. She said she¡¯d try to visit on weekends, though.¡±

    ¡°Amelia¡¯s Jack¡¯s girlfriend, Diana,¡± Susan explained. ¡°They¡¯re going to college this year.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell her.¡± Jack glanced at me.

    ¡°It¡¯s rude if I don¡¯t. What¡¯s the big deal?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I said, clearing my throat. Since they were going to rope me into conversation anyway, I found myself forced to engage. ¡°Um, what¡¯s your major?¡±

    ¡°Exercise Science,¡± Jack mumbled.

    ¡°Is Kyle in college, too?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m a sophomore. Business Management.¡±

    Business, huh? I couldn¡¯t imagine myself studying that. I couldn¡¯t imagine myself going to college. It would never happen. ¡°Are you guys living there?¡± I continued.

    ¡°I want to. But I can¡¯t.¡± Jack glanced up at his parents. There was a pause in the conversation.

    Of course I brought up a touchy subject. I should¡¯ve just let their parents lead me through the conversation.

    ¡°If Kyle and I lived there, you could have our room,¡± he said.

    ¡°Jack.¡± Davis eyed him sternly.

    ¡°I¡¯m just saying.¡±

    This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    ¡°The freshmen dorms are closets,¡± Davis argued. ¡°You can¡¯t even breathe. My freshman dorm was bigger, and that¡¯s saying a lot.¡±

    ¡°Still. It would be easier. I wouldn¡¯t have to take the bus.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s literally 15 minutes away. Give that dorm to someone who needs it.¡±

    Kyle shifted and Jack grunted. He then sighed and finished talking. An awkward air hung over the table. I looked down at my plate, which was half eaten. I was already feeling full, but I wanted to stick to my word, so I kept eating.

    ¡°This really is good,¡± I muttered.

    Susan smiled awkwardly. ¡°Thank you, Diana. Um¡­ boys, you haven¡¯t talked to Diana that much.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s there to talk about?¡± Harry said.

    ¡°Well¡­ ask her stuff. Get to know her.¡±

    ¡°Susan,¡± Davis whispered.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± Tommy glanced at me. ¡°I guess¡­ what do you like to do? For fun?¡±

    I twisted my fork on my plate. ¡°Uh¡­ I dunno. I like to¡­ write stuff. And draw sometimes. And run. I like running.¡±

    ¡°Like jogging?¡± Harry asked.

    ¡°You could say that.¡±

    ¡°You like any sports?¡± he then said.

    ¡°I¡¯ve played basketball a couple times¡­ and soccer once. I wasn¡¯t good, though. All I can do is run, really.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s okay.¡±

    ¡°You like to cook, don¡¯t you?¡± Davis interjected.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°Um¡­ when I was 9, I stayed with the Ashton family. They were really nice. Mrs. Ashton taught me how to cook, and since then, I always loved to. It was¡­ pretty sad when I moved again. I stayed there about 7 months.¡±

    ¡°Why¡¯d you have to leave?¡± Harry asked.

    I shrugged. ¡°Foster kid. You know? We always move around.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t you be adopted?¡±

    ¡°Harry.¡± Susan¡¯s eyes were wide.

    ¡°What? You said talk to her. I¡¯m asking her stuff.¡±

    ¡°But don¡¯t pry- ugh. I¡¯m sorry, Diana.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine, I don¡¯t mind.¡± I cleared my throat again. ¡°Yes, some foster kids can be adopted, and some can¡¯t. I¡¯m supposed to be ¡®reunified¡¯ with my birth family, so I can¡¯t.¡±

    The brothers looked confused, but didn¡¯t ask any more. However, I knew what the mental question was. Their parents most likely told them I was an orphan.

    ¡°After my parents died, I stayed with my uncle and aunt. They got sent to prison. If they pass parole before I age out of the system, I might go back with them,¡± I explained. ¡°So¡­ yeah, I just move around. Most of the time. Lots of times, I tend to screw up, or CPS finds something, so they relocate me. That¡¯s how it goes.¡±

    A long silence stretched out over us. Realizing I brought the mood down, I retracted. ¡°But they shouldn¡¯t be out on parole for a while. And I¡¯m glad I¡¯m staying here. You guys are very nice.¡± I smiled. ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to being here.¡±

    While their parents smiled, the boys remained stoic.

    The rest of the meal was filled with conversation about the boys¡¯ college, friends, and football. Tommy and Harry were on their school¡¯s football team and Jack tried out for Greenfield¡¯s team over the summer. Kyle wasn¡¯t interested in sports; he only did high school football for a scholarship. He had a girlfriend, Nicole, that went to his school. Tommy had a girlfriend named Shirley.

    The family hadn¡¯t gone to church in a while. During the meal, Susan received a text, then announced that a friend of theirs wanted them back. The boys apparently played the music for the service.

    I paid close attention. All the details were important. Everything counted towards my survival, even the most trivial parts. Knowing about my foster family would always give me some leverage in all kinds of situations.

    I felt nauseous when I finished my pancake. It was absolutely delicious, but my stomach wasn¡¯t used to so much food.

    ¡°You good?¡± Davis seemed concerned.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m fine. Thanks again. It was great.¡±

    ¡°Maybe now you¡¯ll actually look like a runner,¡± Kyle joked. Taking it lightly, the rest of the family chuckled. I smiled thinly, not reacting to the hidden meaning.

    I stood, taking my plate to wash. Susan also stood. ¡°You don¡¯t have to wash that, sweetie. I¡¯ve got it.¡± She walked around the table.

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s okay-¡±

    ¡°No, give it to me-¡±

    The plate somehow slid out of my hands and onto the floor, shattering to pieces. The sudden noise sent my heart jumping into action, my nausea worsening. My body went rigid and my hands shot up to my ears.

    I tensed, anticipating a blow. My ears were ringing loudly, drowning out the world around me. I could hear the yelling, screaming, the glass breaking over and over again¡­ My vision darkened at the corners and blurred.

    I was in another world now. The past. I could already feel my skin turning red after the sting¡ª my cheek, most likely. The shards raining down on me, on my arms.

    A hand grabbed my wrist. Instinctively, I jerked it away, ready to run.

    ¡°Whoa, whoa¡­ it¡¯s okay, sweetie.¡± My vision cleared as I looked up at Susan, who stared at me with bewilderment. My hearing returned to normal.

    I looked down at the broken plate, finding it gone. The family had gathered the pieces.

    ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry¡­ I didn¡¯t mean to, I swear, I¡¯m sorry-¡±

    ¡°Honey, it¡¯s okay. It was an accident. No big deal. It¡¯s just a plate.¡± Susan gently pulled me away from the shards on the floor. ¡°You didn¡¯t cut yourself, did you?¡±

    I turned sharply, pulling down my sleeves. Did they roll up? ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Did you hurt yourself? On the glass?¡± Susan rephrased.

    ¡°Oh, uh¡­¡± I checked my hands, which trembled. ¡°N-no.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­¡± She held my shoulders. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± I swallowed. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    The boys glanced at me as they went to throw away the mess. Davis approached us. ¡°Everything okay?¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, it¡¯s just a plate. As long as you¡¯re not hurt.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine. Um¡­ may I be excused, please?¡±

    ¡°Sure. We¡¯ll clean all that up. We¡¯re sorry. You did like the breakfast, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it was great. Thank you.¡± I turned away and hurried up the stairs. I couldn¡¯t be with them, not like this.

    ~~~

    08.18.23

    Dear Diary, it¡¯s been three days since I moved in the Fields. So far, I¡¯m liking living here. It¡¯s comfortable, I¡¯m eating more properly, and I have a cool new room. Even though I got really sick after our first breakfast, I think I¡¯m okay here.

    But the major sticking point would be the brothers. In front of their parents, they conform themselves with hidden insults, passive-aggressive comments, and fake politeness shrouded over cruelty.

    Then when their parents <u>aren¡¯t</u> around¡­ I¡¯m back to being their personal slave. I clean up after them, do their chores, serve them food. They don¡¯t insult me as badly as other families, but they¡¯re always making cracks about my ¡®skin-and-bones¡¯ body or my ¡®smooth brain¡¯. And they love asking me to do things as if they were favors. Like I have the choice to say ¡®no¡¯.

    I¡¯m not going to respond until I¡¯m 100% sure how to. I still don¡¯t feel like they¡¯ll get physically violent with me. But based on the way they carry themselves, they¡¯re the type to ¡®get me back¡¯ somehow if I retaliated. I need to¡­ well, ¡®get to know them¡¯ better.

    I know I¡¯ve suffered a <u>lot</u> worse than this. This just barely scratches the surface of what I¡¯ve gone through before. But it is disappointing. That¡¯s what I get for trusting.

    I put down my pen and sighed. Writing all this out made me feel a little better.

    My current diary was one of the few things I managed to keep safe so far. So many times, it was nearly lost or destroyed. I had about six more diaries in my backpack. The pages were all ripped up, but at least I still had them. The ones from my early childhood were lost.

    I heard voices downstairs. Out of curiosity, I went out to the hallway. I heard my foster brothers talking downstairs, accompanied by some girls¡¯ voices.

    I slowly tiptoed downstairs to the landing and peeked past the wall. The boys were in the foyer with three girls. One of them was a brunette hugging Kyle, the other was a blonde with Tommy, and the last one was also brunette, her arm around Jack. Their girlfriends, probably.

    ¡°You sure you¡¯re okay with going to the same diner?¡± Kyle¡¯s girlfriend asked.

    ¡°If you¡¯re okay.¡± He shrugged. ¡°As long as we get to eat.¡±

    ¡°Okay, remember, I¡¯m on a very specific diet. I can¡¯t have too much, okay?¡± said the blonde.

    ¡°Yeah, we know.¡± Kyle¡¯s girlfriend looked annoyed.

    ¡°Oh, did your parents adopt that foster kid yet?¡± Jack¡¯s girlfriend asked.

    ¡°Oh, yeah! You said she was a girl, right, Kyle?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ yeah.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s that going? I know it¡¯s a bit hard, considering¡­¡±

    The boys glanced at each other. ¡°Um¡­ about that¡­¡± Harry started. ¡°It¡¯s a little more¡­ complicated than we expected.¡±

    ¡°Complicated?¡±

    The blonde snorted.

    ¡°There¡¯s something you should know-¡± Tommy stopped when he saw me. All of them collectively turned their gazes on me.

    I froze like a deer in headlights before revealing myself fully. I managed to give a small wave and a smile, swallowing hard.

    ¡°Ahem. Uh¡­ girls, this is¡­ Diana,¡± Kyle said, motioning to me. ¡°She¡¯s our new¡­ foster sister.¡±

    There it was again. Just like everyone else that met me, all three girls were staring at me with pale faces and open mouths. I maintained a polite, shy smile on my face, pretending not to notice.

    ¡°Diana, you said?¡± Kyle¡¯s girlfriend glanced at him.

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Diana what?¡±

    ¡°Watson.¡±

    They continued staring at me. The blonde shifted, disgust veiling her gaze. ¡°You have got to be kidding me,¡± she muttered. Tommy nudged her to be quiet.

    Ignoring her, I went up to them, my legs feeling like Jell?O. ¡°Um¡­ hi. Like Kyle said, I¡¯m Diana Watson. And you are?¡±

    Tommy¡¯s girlfriend whispered something to him, and he shook his head as a response.

    ¡°Um¡­ m-my name is Nicole,¡± Kyle¡¯s girlfriend introduced herself. ¡°This is Amelia,¡± ¡ªshe pointed at Jack¡¯s girlfriend¡ª ¡°and that¡¯s Shirley,¡± ¡ªshe nodded at Tommy¡¯s girlfriend.

    I smiled as nicely as I could. ¡°Nice to meet all of you. Uh, what about Harry?¡±

    Jack snickered while Harry clenched his jaw.

    ¡°He¡¯s the single pringle,¡± said Kyle, making them all laugh. I relaxed a bit now that the atmosphere was a little lighter.

    ¡°Shut up.¡± Harry scowled, looking away.

    ¡°Okay, you met her now. Can we go?¡± Kyle shifted.

    Nicole nodded hastily. ¡°Yeah, sure.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ is she staying alone?¡± Amelia pointed at me. They paused, awkward glances shooting around.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I¡¯m used to staying home alone. You guys go,¡± I said.

    ¡°You sure your parents won¡¯t mind?¡± Amelia asked them, ignoring me.

    ¡°We¡¯ll only be out for a few hours,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°But aren¡¯t they coming back soon?¡±

    Shirley groaned. ¡°Come on, I want to eat! Just leave her and let¡¯s go.¡±

    ¡°They can¡¯t just leave her here. Why didn¡¯t you guys plan this?¡± said Nicole.

    ¡°Because we thought our parents would be here.¡±

    ¡°Harry, how about you stay?¡± Tommy said.

    ¡°Me? Why me?¡± Harry gaped in indignation.

    ¡°You¡¯re kind of a seventh wheel.¡± The other boys snickered, Shirley smirking.

    ¡°That¡¯s not nice, you guys,¡± said Nicole.

    ¡°Someone has to stay with her.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine by myself, really,¡± I repeated.

    ¡°Tell that to our parents.¡± Kyle eyed Harry sternly, straightening his back as he towered over him. ¡°Harry, you¡¯re on babysitting duty. We¡¯ll be back soon.¡±

    Harry matched his brother¡¯s glare, but soon relented. He stepped back, eyes casted down.

    ¡°Kyle, we can do this some other time,¡± his girlfriend said.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine, let¡¯s go.¡±

    The group hesitantly filed out the door, a tense silence filling the air. The door closed and I looked at Harry. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to stay,¡± I told him.

    ¡°Forget it.¡± He went up the stairs. I heard his door slam afterwards.

    This family was so weird¡­ I¡¯d been with my fair share of weird families, but this one surpassed them all.

    I went up the stairs, returning to my room. I stopped, staring at the attic door.

    Why not the attic? The boys offered their rooms, the basement, the den¡­ but not the attic. They changed their tunes when I suggested I sleep there.

    I opened the door, facing a flight of stairs. They creaked as I started going up. I heard Harry¡¯s door open behind me and footsteps running towards me. The sound made me turn, freezing in place.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Harry demanded at the bottom.

    ¡°I-I was just-¡±

    ¡°No, come down. You can¡¯t be up there.¡±

    ¡°I just wanted to-¡±

    ¡°I said, you can¡¯t be up there. Get down.¡±

    Swallowing, I quickly obeyed and came down. Harry practically slammed the door closed. He turned to me with an accusing glare, pointing. ¡°You¡¯re not supposed to be up there, you got it? You think you can just snoop around wherever you want just because you live with us now?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Harry, I¡¯m sorry. I promise, I won¡¯t go up there again.¡± I inched towards my door, ready to lock myself in if the need came.

    Noticing my reaction, his expression softened. He awkwardly scratched his head and cleared his throat, shifting. ¡°Um¡­ sorry, it¡¯s just¡­ we have a lot of personal stuff up there that¡¯s just for us. That¡¯s all. I didn¡¯t mean to¡­ sorry.¡±

    The tension in my muscles lessened, but I maintained my fight-or-flight stance. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I repeated.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine, just don¡¯t go up there, okay?¡± He went back to his room, closing the door more quietly this time.

    I relaxed completely, taking a breath to calm my heart rate. I glanced at the forbidden attic door one more time, then went into my room. Curiosity killed the cat. I couldn¡¯t risk anything by being an idiot and wandering up there.

 3~ Elephant in the Room

    Kyle

    We were all served our coffee and drinks. As we stirred and sipped from our straws, an awkward silence stretched out. Nicole glanced around at us, raising her brows. ¡°So¡­ aren¡¯t we going to talk about it?¡± she asked.

    ¡°About what?¡± Jack said, acting clueless.

    ¡°The elephant in the room.¡±

    There was a pause. Tommy then said, ¡°Can we talk about the mouse instead?¡±

    We all gave him looks, but at least we could chuckle a bit, despite the circumstance.

    ¡°She¡¯s the spitting image of her,¡± said Amelia, finally addressing the ¡®elephant¡¯.

    ¡°It was like looking at a ghost.¡± Shirley shivered.

    ¡°I thought your parents were getting a little girl.¡±

    ¡°We just knew they wanted to foster someone,¡± Jack explained. ¡°Truth is, we were already a bit upset. I mean- you remember. I complained and everything. I didn¡¯t want some kid staying with us right now.¡±

    ¡°I would¡¯ve preferred ¡®some kid¡¯ over her,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°How did your parents even find her? Were they literally looking for someone that looked just like Amy?¡± Nicole said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. They saw her, they jumped at the chance.¡± I mindlessly stirred my coffee. ¡°They weren¡¯t even going to tell us. I just overheard their conversation.¡±

    ¡°I was hoping they¡¯d change their minds. Or that she didn¡¯t want to come. Something, you know? Next thing we know, she¡¯s in our doorway, and they¡¯re introducing us, like¡­¡± Tommy trailed off.

    Shirley brought out her phone, scrolling. ¡°You can¡¯t make this stuff up. We¡¯re in a literal horror movie. Watch her kill you out of nowhere or something. Amy¡¯s dark side.¡±

    ¡°Shirley.¡± Tommy nudged her.

    ¡°What? I¡¯m just saying.¡±

    ¡°They have to know what they¡¯re doing,¡± said Nicole.

    ¡°Duh,¡± Shirley answered. ¡°The whole reason they wanted to foster a girl was because of Amy. They know exactly what they¡¯re doing. Replacing their dead daughter with a freak copy. I never thought your parents could do anything so creepy.¡± She looked at Tommy.

    ¡°Too bad we didn¡¯t bring Harry,¡± Amelia joked. ¡°He¡¯d be explaining their feelings or something.¡±

    ¡°Did you guys have to leave him like that?¡± Nicole said.

    ¡°Like I said, we didn¡¯t know our parents would be out,¡± I pointed out. I sipped my coffee, which had gotten cold by now.

    ¡°But you left him alone. With her. I feel bad for him.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s fine. He¡¯s probably in his room, and Diana¡¯s in¡­ well, Amy¡¯s,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°Wait, what? Diana¡¯s in Amy¡¯s room?¡± Nicole exclaimed.

    ¡°Yeah, they redecorated and everything. Still her furniture, though.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t she stay somewhere else?¡±

    ¡°We offered our rooms and everything. But no,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°This is why I wanted a dorm,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°You always wanted a dorm,¡± I corrected him.

    ¡°Yeah, and this is another reason to want one. A good reason.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you guys notice she was wearing Amy¡¯s shirt?¡± Shirley scoffed. ¡°That ugly one she always wore?¡±

    Amelia covered her mouth. ¡°Oh, my God.¡±

    Another stretch of silence spread out between us. The waiter came back with our orders; hamburgers, fries, and a salad for Shirley.

    I was trying not to roll my eyes. Shirley didn¡¯t need any diet. But as long as she didn¡¯t force Tommy into dieting with her, I wouldn¡¯t complain.

    ¡°Does she know?¡± Shirley asked.

    We gave her obvious looks. ¡°Are you serious? You really think we would tell her?¡± Jack scoffed derisively.

    ¡°She was just asking, you guys,¡± Tommy defended her.

    ¡°No, she doesn¡¯t know. And she won¡¯t,¡± I said. ¡°We just need her to move out as fast as possible and we¡¯ll be good.¡±

    ¡°What if your parents decide to¡­ adopt her?¡±

    ¡°They can¡¯t. She has a bio family. The system won¡¯t let them.¡±

    The girls seemed a bit less tense at this. ¡°How long?¡± Nicole asked.

    ¡°Six months¡­ at least. Maybe more.¡±

    ¡°Six months?! You have to live with her for six months?¡± Shirley shook her head in disgust. ¡°Unbelievable. They won¡¯t let her go to school with you, will they?¡±

    Tommy froze, looking at us. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°God, no.¡± Shirley turned white. ¡°Oh-my-God, if she goes to our school, I¡¯m literally never showing my face again. I can¡¯t. Everyone¡¯s gonna say so much about me.¡±

    About her? When did this become about her? Maybe we should¡¯ve left her home instead of Harry¡­

    ¡°About you? What about Tommy? And Harry?¡± Amelia echoed our thoughts.

    ¡°I¡¯m Tommy¡¯s girlfriend. Whatever they¡¯re saying about my Tommy, they¡¯re saying about me.¡± She hugged him and put her head on his shoulder. Suddenly, my hamburger was no longer appetizing.

    ¡°They can¡¯t send her to Summit High. They know what would happen. They¡¯ll probably send her to Lawson or something.¡±

    ¡°I hope so,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°You guys haven¡¯t gone to church, right?¡± Nicole asked. ¡°She can¡¯t go there, either.¡±

    ¡°No, we haven¡¯t gone since¡­ well, since Amy died.¡±

    ¡°Answer me this.¡± Shirley narrowed her eyes. ¡°If it were one of you guys that died instead of Amy, you think they would¡¯ve done the same thing? Get a foster son that looks just like you?¡±

    ¡°Shirley,¡± Tommy said.

    ¡°It¡¯s a legitimate question.¡±

    I glanced at Jack, then shrugged. ¡°I dunno.¡±

    ¡°This has always been the problem. Amy was their little princess,¡± Shirley continued. ¡°Now that they did some prince-and-the-pauper stuff, what do you think ¡®Diana¡¯ will become?¡±

    ¡°Shirley, that¡¯s enough,¡± said Nicole, noticing the growing tension.

    ¡°Mom and Dad said that¡­ that they would pay more attention to us,¡± Tommy said slowly.

    ¡°Oh, really? How¡¯s that going? Obviously not very well, if they got an Amy clone. Worse, their new ¡®favorite kid¡¯ won¡¯t even be their kid by blood!¡±

    ¡°Can we talk about something else?¡± I quickly said.

    We all stared at our uneaten hamburgers. Shirley was the only one eating.

    Jack¡¯s phone pinged, breaking the silence. He checked the message. ¡°Uh-oh. It¡¯s Harry.¡±

    Nicole¡¯s thick brows furrowed with concern. ¡°How¡¯s he doing?¡±

    ¡°He says¡­ oh, my God, Diana almost went into the attic.¡±

    Tommy cursed under his breath.

    ¡°Almost? So she didn¡¯t?¡± I clutched my fork.

    Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    ¡°No. He¡¯s asking who left the door unlocked.¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t me.¡± Tommy held up his hands.

    ¡°Probably Mom or Dad. I haven¡¯t gone up there,¡± I said.

    Jack texted him back. ¡°He also wants 20 bucks for staying home with her.¡±

    I snorted. ¡°Yeah, right.¡±

    ¡°You guys owe him 50, in my opinion,¡± said Nicole. ¡°What you guys did was pretty mean.¡±

    Her scolding tone dissipated my contempt. I sighed, nodding. ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re right. I just¡­¡± I held my head. ¡°I didn¡¯t know what to do.¡± I felt Nicole¡¯s arms wrap around me in comfort.

    ¡°We¡¯re all in this together, okay?¡± Amelia assured us. ¡°Hopefully, Diana won¡¯t like it here and she¡¯ll want to move.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what we¡¯re gunning for,¡± Tommy replied.

    ¡°And¡­ eventually, you¡¯re going to have to tell her.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not going to tell her,¡± Jack said firmly.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t, someone else will. You don¡¯t know where she¡¯s going to school, or if she¡¯ll meet any more of your friends. You don¡¯t know. She almost got into the attic. She¡¯s going to find out.¡±

    She had a point. If our parents were crazy enough to send her to Summit High, there would be plenty of people talking about her. Sooner or later, she¡¯d know. Maybe that would be enough to scare her away¡­?

    But how could we tell her something so¡­ I couldn¡¯t even find a word for it. It was such a bizarre situation¡ª I wasn¡¯t even sure if it was real. Maybe it was just a fever dream. Maybe I went crazy after Amy died, like our parents did.

    I looked at her face, heard her voice, but that wasn¡¯t my baby. That wasn¡¯t the sister I wished for when I was 3. The sister I named ¡®Amy¡¯.

    I started eating my hamburger, which was also cold. It was delicious, but I couldn¡¯t enjoy the flavor. Bite after bite, the juicy meat and American cheese were forced down.

    As callous as Shirley was, every word she said was true.

    ~~~

    Diana

    August 21<sup>st</sup>, 2023

    I finished mopping the floors and wiped sweat off my forehead. I was a bit tired from so many chores, but not too exhausted. I could handle it.

    I went to the sliding door leading out to the backyard, where the boys were playing catch with a football. It was a large yard with a pool and a tool shed. Susan said they used to have a playground, but once the boys got older, they took it out and replaced it with a pool¡ª which I didn¡¯t dare approach.

    I went outside and looked at the group wearily. ¡°I¡¯m done!¡±

    ¡°Done what?¡± Kyle said.

    ¡°Mopping, vacuuming, and wiping the windows.¡±

    ¡°What about the bathrooms?¡±

    ¡°Yup. I dusted, too. Is there anything else you want me to do?¡±

    They didn¡¯t look at me, continuing their football. ¡°Did you take out the garbage?¡± Kyle asked me.

    ¡°Yup,¡± I said.

    ¡°Did you wash the dishes?¡± Jack asked.

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    Tommy glanced at me. ¡°Make the beds?¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    ¡°Do the laundry?¡± Harry quirked a brow.

    ¡°Yes. And I put it away, too.¡±

    The football stopped at Tommy. They all looked at me.

    ¡°You¡¯re fast,¡± Jack finally said.

    ¡°Okay. I guess you¡¯re free,¡± said Kyle.

    ¡°Wait! She needs to cook!¡± said Jack. ¡°We took our turns. Now it¡¯s hers.¡±

    ¡°What do you want to eat?¡± I asked.

    ¡°I dunno.¡± Kyle resumed the game of catch. ¡°I guess spaghetti or something.¡±

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll have it done soon.¡± I turned and went back to the kitchen.

    I boiled two, large pots of water. We were seven people, so a lot of spaghetti was required, especially if we wanted leftovers for tomorrow. I took some boxes of linguini pasta out of a drawer and set them beside the stove. I then grabbed a saucepan to get started on the sweet tomato sauce.

    I glanced at the clock. 3:23. They¡¯d be here in about forty minutes. Plenty of time.

    The boys came in at one point while I was cooking the sauce and meat. They all paused and watched what I was doing, seemingly curious. ¡°How do you cook so fast?¡± Kyle asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ve lived with big families before. And I had to get the food on the table on time.¡± I tasted the sauce with a separate spoon and nodded to myself, immediately going to wash it. ¡°What about you guys? What can you cook?¡±

    ¡°Basically the same stuff.¡± Tommy lifted the pot cover a bit and peered into the boiling spaghetti. I¡¯d left it open a bit, so he didn¡¯t get a gust of steam in his face. ¡°Spaghetti and whatever.¡±

    ¡°Cool.¡± I patted his arm so he could get out of the way and fished a string of spaghetti out with my fork. After trying a piece, I gave them an ¡®OK¡¯ sign with my fingers and turned it off. It was ready now.

    I took some plates out of the cupboards and looked at them. ¡°Could you¡­?¡± I jerked my head for them to leave.

    They hesitantly left the kitchen, continuously looking back at me. What was so strange about me cooking? They¡¯d seen me do it before.

    As I finished serving, I heard the Fields¡¯ car arrive. I looked up at the clock and dusted off my hands. 3:55. Perfect timing.

    Susan and Davis came in talking, their voices echoing through the foyer. They stopped at the dining room and smiled at the table¡¯s appearance.

    ¡°It smells delicious in here,¡± said Susan, taking a whiff of the freshly cooked meal. ¡°Diana¡­ did you cook?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am, I did,¡± I said.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±

    ¡°Actually, it¡¯s my turn. I¡¯m a bit overdue.¡± Perfect excuse.

    ¡°Diana, thank you. It smells amazing. It¡¯s spaghetti, right?¡± said Davis.

    ¡°Yup.¡± I went to get the food.

    ¡°Did the boys give you any trouble?¡± Susan asked.

    ¡°No, they¡¯re fine. We were doing our own thing, mostly.¡± I placed each plate down while the boys came in.

    ¡°Hey, guys.¡± They sat down, all sweaty.

    ¡°¡®Hey, guys¡¯? That¡¯s all?¡± Susan put her hands on her hips.

    They groaned, standing back up and going up to them with hugs and kisses on the cheek.

    We all sat down. As always, I pretended to hold the brothers¡¯ hands in prayer¡ª in this case, it was Tommy and Harry¡ª before their parents closed their eyes. I then joined my hands by myself. After praying, we started to eat.

    ¡°Kyle, everything in Greenfield is ready, right? You don¡¯t have to send in anything anymore?¡± Susan asked, beginning today¡¯s dinner conversation.

    ¡°Yeah, why?¡±

    ¡°Well, on my phone, I saw an email.¡±

    He nodded. ¡°That¡¯s an ad.¡± He took a bite of his spaghetti. ¡°It¡¯s just to remind parents-¡± He stopped short, his eyes widening slightly. He chewed slowly and swallowed.

    Everyone else seemed to have the same reaction as they tasted my spaghetti. I smiled and ate a bit more myself.

    ¡°Diana¡­¡± Susan swallowed, wiping her mouth. ¡°This is incredible.¡±

    ¡°Beautiful,¡± her husband added, eating faster.

    I giggled modestly. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    The boys were silent, but they were also eating pretty quickly. I smirked mischievously and turned to them. ¡°What do you guys think? I¡¯d love your opinion.¡±

    They stopped. Jack had spaghetti hanging from his lips.

    ¡°Did you thank Diana for cooking for you?¡± Davis said, his mouth full.

    Tommy shrugged. ¡°It was her turn, anyway,¡± he muttered.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Nothing.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°Uh, thanks, Diana. It¡¯s good.¡± The others murmured their ¡®thank you¡¯s¡¯, as well.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you like it.¡± I grinned even wider. ¡°You do like it, right? Give me your honest opinion.¡±

    Kyle gave me a look. I raised my brows, unable to suppress my smile.

    He sighed. ¡°It¡¯s delicious. There, you happy?¡±

    ¡°Kyle.¡± Susan glanced at him sternly as she ate. ¡°She deserves a compliment.¡±

    ¡°And I gave her one.¡± He rolled his eyes. ¡°Thank you, Diana. We¡­¡± His eye twitched, his fingers twisting his fork around. ¡°We really appreciate¡­ your cooking.¡±

    I resisted my laughter. ¡°You are all so very welcome. It¡¯s a pleasure. After all, I owe you for being so kind and welcoming to me!¡±

    They glared at me while I smiled gleefully, twisting my spaghetti around my fork. Davis gave his sons a look while Susan shook her head with a barely audible sigh of disappointment.

    ¡°Especially you,¡± I told their parents sincerely. ¡°Really, you guys have been so nice, and I really appreciate it. To tell you the truth, I don¡¯t get to be with many families this kind.¡±

    ¡°Of course, Diana. As long as you¡¯re here, this is your home.¡± I could hear a bit of emphasis in her voice as she glanced at her sons.

    The boys all reacted, either twitching, shifting in their seats, or shuddering. It was subtle, but they couldn¡¯t escape my eye. I pushed down my laughter again.

    This was gold.

    ~~~

    I went into my room to dress into my PJ¡¯s after brushing my teeth. A tone rang from my new phone¡ª which Susan and Davis gave me last Friday¡ª and I went over to check it as I took off my shirt.

    (208) 345-3482: Hello, Diana. This is Mr. Brian. Mrs. Field gave me your new number.

    How are you doing so far?

    Some of my other caseworkers had texted me as well. I smiled, adding them to my contacts before replying to Mr. Brian first.

    Hi, Mr. Brian. I¡¯m actually doing pretty good.

    Do you feel comfortable where you are? At home? he asked.

    Yeah, pretty comfortable. I got a nice room, and clean clothes. That¡¯s a huge plus. I put on my PJ shirt, which was a little loose on me, but it fit well enough. I cooked today, too. The guys take turns cooking every day before their parents get home from work.

    I imagine they fell in love with your cooking.

    I snickered, thinking of the boys¡¯ reactions. I think so, too.

    Are you sure everything¡¯s alright there? You¡¯re not having any trouble getting along with your foster brothers?

    I hesitated, biting my lip. I wasn¡¯t sure if I should tell him the truth.

    It seemed like every time I was with a demonic, sadistic family that did nothing but make me suffer, it would take a near-death experience to get me out of there. But if I made one little mistake with a decent family, that was the end of my stay with them.

    I knew my caseworkers cared about me and my welfare¡ª at least most of them did. But this system¡­

    They¡¯re a little¡­ distant, I guess, I wrote. But not that bad. They don¡¯t hit me, they don¡¯t destroy my things, they don¡¯t tie me to chairs¡­ you know. I suppose they just need some getting used to. Over time, maybe they¡¯ll open up.

    There was a pause before he wrote again.

    I see. Well, it¡¯s pretty normal. They¡¯ve never fostered anyone before, so they may feel like their privacy is being invaded, or feel a little uncomfortable with someone they don¡¯t know in their home. They should adapt to you in due time.

    That¡¯s what I¡¯m hoping, I replied.

    But they¡¯re not treating you too badly, right?

    No, they¡¯re alright. Like you said, they need to warm up to me. I¡¯m sure they will.

    I hesitated again. Maybe he knew something about those looks I was getting¡­ I shook my head. I needed to get to the bottom of it myself.

    Well, I¡¯m glad you¡¯re doing alright, Diana. If anything, you let me know, Mr. Brian said.

    Thank you, Mr. Brian. I¡¯ll see you in a couple months, then. I sent a smiley. I put my phone down and continued changing. The phone pinged a couple times as I dressed, but I finished before checking it again.

    Mr. Brian: That¡¯s something I wanted to talk to you about¡­

    I won¡¯t be visiting you this October, Diana.

    I frowned, rapidly texting back. What do you mean? Why not?

    You¡¯ll be reviewed by Ms. Bredlong instead.

    I groaned with dread, my heart sinking into my stomach. NO. No way. Are you kidding me?! I hate her!

    I¡¯m sorry, Diana. I might be able to visit you next time, but there are a few new foster children I was assigned to and I need to take care of them in the meanwhile.

    What about everyone else?

    They¡¯re also unavailable, I¡¯m afraid.

    Ms. Juno? I inquired.

    She¡¯s dealing the same new cases as I am, he replied.

    Mr. Pierce?

    On family leave until his wife delivers.

    I sighed anxiously. Bredlong is the worst, please don¡¯t send her¡­ I pleaded.

    It¡¯s out of my hands, Diana. I¡¯m sorry. I promise I¡¯ll keep checking in on you through texts or calls as often as I can.

    He almost never did! And if he was working new cases, I wouldn¡¯t see him for a long time.

    Janet Bredlong was literally the cruelest of my caseworkers. I didn¡¯t know what kind of personal vendetta she had against me, but it was like her goal was to make me suffer until I aged out of the system. She always screwed everything up for me, always convinced the others to follow along.

    But nothing I could say or do could stop her from coming here, so there was no use arguing.

    Okay, I finally replied. Good night, Mr. Brian.

 4~ High School

    Knock. Knock. ¡°Diana?¡±

    ¡°Come in, Susan.¡±

    She entered, smiling at me. I was curled up on my bed, reading one of the books she¡¯d given me.

    ¡°I meant to talk to you,¡± she said. ¡°Um- do you mind helping me with the laundry? I don¡¯t mean to interrupt¡­¡±

    ¡°Of course not. I¡¯ll help,¡± I obliged. I put my book down and got off my bed. I followed her into Kyle and Jack¡¯s room, a laundry basket on Kyle¡¯s bed.

    Susan handed half the pile to me and we started folding. ¡°So¡­ the school year¡¯s starting in a couple weeks,¡± she started. ¡°From what I saw, you¡¯ve been sort of¡­ in and out of school?¡±

    I glanced up at her. ¡°Yeah, sort of,¡± I said. ¡°Sometimes I¡¯d be in a homeschool program, or online. I¡¯ve been online lately, especially after the pandemic.¡±

    ¡°When was the last time you went to school? Face-to-face?¡±

    ¡°When I was 11. I was with the Thomas¡¯s. They made me go to this ¡®special¡¯ private school. They were nice to me, it¡¯s just that they wanted me to have friends and stuff. But then I got into a fight, they expelled me, and the rich fat cats running the school got me moved into a group home.¡±

    Susan gazed at me as she folded a shirt. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry that happened to you.¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°It was a long time ago.¡±

    She remained silent for a few moments. ¡°Well¡­ I wanted to ask you if¡­ you would be okay with attending high school. Since you finished 9<sup>th</sup> Grade online, you could just enroll and go the first day.¡±

    At first, I couldn¡¯t answer. My mind short-circuited as my stomach churned at the thought.

    ¡°But if you¡¯re not comfortable, it¡¯s alright. They offer a virtual program,¡± she reassured me.

    Going to school? All my life, I¡¯d hated school. Every time I went, I was always tortured by everyone else. ¡°Um¡­ would I go with your sons?¡±

    She hesitated. ¡°Kyle and Jack are in college. Tommy¡¯s a senior in high school and Harry¡¯s a junior. They go to R. T. Summit High. Although, considering the tension between you and them, I don¡¯t know if you¡¯d like to go with them. You could go to a different school, if you want. Lawson High is in our district.¡±

    If Tommy and Harry went there, they¡¯d for sure make my life even more miserable. There was no way I¡¯d go through that. Even if I went to a different school, it seemed way too¡­ scary.

    ¡°Um¡­ I think I¡¯d rather go online,¡± I said.

    ¡°You do?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡­ school and I don¡¯t really get along.¡± I piled up all the clothes I folded. Susan stared in surprise, probably wondering how I finished so many so quickly.

    ¡°I see¡­¡± she trailed off, her shoulders seeming to relax. ¡°I understand, Diana. All you have to do is enroll. I¡¯ll lend you Davis¡¯s laptop later on, and you can take a look at the curriculum.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, sure,¡± I said. ¡°Thank you, Susan. I appreciate it.¡±

    ~~~

    I sat in the dining room with Davis¡¯s laptop, browsing R.T. Summit High¡¯s website. They had some pretty interesting electives. A shame the Cooking elective wasn¡¯t offered online; that sounded awesome.

    I was going to enroll in a virtual high school, but I was curious about the boys¡¯ school. It seemed to have more, but most of the things I wanted were face-to-face.

    The boys laughed as they came from the backyard, teasing Tommy about something. Kyle twirled his football in his hands and playfully bounced it off Tommy¡¯s head. He tried to punch him in response.

    ¡°What¡¯s up, Diana?¡± Jack asked me.

    I didn¡¯t look at them. ¡°Nothing.¡± They came over to me, Kyle holding the football against the dining table surface. They all wore identical smirks as they gazed at me with ridicule.

    Harry scrunched his eyebrows with curiosity. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± He leaned over and read the contents of the computer screen. ¡°Our school website?¡±

    I sighed. ¡°Yeah, what¡¯s it to you?¡±

    They glanced at each other. I looked at them. Tommy paled while Harry covered his face.

    ¡°Wait- no! You¡¯re not¡­ no way!¡± Tommy shook his head.

    ¡°What?¡± I stared at them.

    His hands flew to his forehead, the color draining from his face. ¡°No. No way. No way. No. No.¡±

    Harry wiped his hand down his face. ¡°When did you- how¡­¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡± I demanded.

    ¡°Mom didn¡¯t say anything about this,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°She never says anything! Bro, no¡­¡± Tommy paced. ¡°They can¡¯t do this. They¡¯re crazy.¡±

    What were they freaking out about? Me going to school with them? I wasn¡¯t, but¡­ why were they getting so crazy?

    ¡°Guys-¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re done. We¡¯re done. Our parents are officially crazy,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°Guys-¡±

    Tommy glared at me. ¡°You can¡¯t go to school with us.¡±

    ¡°Would you listen?!¡± I snapped. ¡°I¡¯m going online. I was just looking at the curriculum.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Sheesh¡­¡±

    They stopped, obviously embarrassed, and relaxed. Kyle and Jack were less tense, but still upset. What did they care? They were in college.

    ¡°Y¡¯all need to chill. What was the big deal?¡± I asked.

    They shifted. ¡°Nothing,¡± Harry muttered.

    ¡°Well, if you¡¯re embarrassed about having a foster kid in your house, relax. I¡¯m staying here, so you don¡¯t have to worry about ruining¡­ whatever ¡®reputation¡¯ you have.¡± Sarcasm was heavy in my voice.

    Susan soon came into the dining room. ¡°Diana, is there-¡± She stopped short, seeing their agitated faces. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    ¡°Nothing,¡± Tommy said. ¡°We were just¡­ asking Diana about school, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± She walked in. ¡°They¡¯re not bugging you, are they, Diana?¡± she asked.

    ¡°No, they¡¯re fine.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ you¡¯re going online? Not¡­ hybrid, or anything?¡± Tommy approached me as he spoke.

    I huffed, peeved. ¡°No, I¡¯m not. It¡¯s all online.¡± I returned to the laptop, reviewing the electives. I bit my lip as I clicked on the ¡®Cooking¡¯ tab and read the description.

    ¡°Did you want any help? Any questions about¡­ anything?¡± Susan asked me.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m good. Thanks, Susan.¡±

    She smiled, gave the boys a warning glare, then left. After a few moments, I looked at them with question. ¡°Do you need anything?¡±

    They seemed to snap out of a daze. ¡°Nothing. Let¡¯s go, guys.¡± Kyle led them out of the room.

    I wasn¡¯t going to get used to their weirdness. They couldn¡¯t be that embarrassed about having a foster sibling. They were hiding a lot from me. Normally I wouldn¡¯t be digging around for secrets, but it really felt like it had to do with me. But what kind of secrets would they have related to me?

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    Dismissing my thoughts, I opened another tab and searched, ¡®Virtual public high schools Idaho¡¯. There really wasn¡¯t anything else I could do.

    Jewel Prep Online School¡­ Kooskia Virtual Academy¡­ Medley Online High School¡­

    ¡°Diana! Get us some Cheez-O¡¯s and Oni-O¡¯s!¡± Kyle suddenly called from the den.

    For some reason, irritation rose within me. ¡°Get it yourself, I¡¯m busy!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re busy, too!¡±

    ¡°Just pause the game!¡±

    ¡°Just get it!¡±

    I ignored them and continued browsing. I returned to the boys¡¯ school page. There was an advanced Literature class? That sounded cool. Was that offered online?

    Tommy and Harry came into the dining room. ¡°Diana.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°The snacks?¡±

    ¡°Get them. Kitchen¡¯s right there.¡± I pointed.

    They glared at me. ¡°You always get us stuff,¡± Harry said.

    ¡°I¡¯m busy, so get your own snacks.¡±

    There was a long pause before they finally left to the kitchen. I sighed, relieved. Finally.

    I did what they said before. I tried to give them a chance. I didn¡¯t want any bad blood or tension around the house. But I was somehow reaching my limit.

    After all I suffered, this was what pushed me to the edge? I didn¡¯t understand myself.

    The boys came out of the kitchen with their snacks. But instead of heading back to the den, Harry came up to me¡­

    ¡­ and poured sticky orange soda over my head.

    I simply sat back, waiting for the sweet, cold liquid to stream down my hair and soak into my clothes. The trail stretched all the way down to my lap and stained my jeans. Harry crushed the can¡ª or tried to, at least¡ª and put it down.

    I chuckled, slamming my hands on the table and standing up. Harry smirked, looking down at me from his towering height. Tommy stood behind him with a bowl of chips and soda cans in his arms, also smiling.

    They didn¡¯t want me at their school, huh?

    Don¡¯t do it. Don¡¯t you dare, my conscience whispered. This isn¡¯t worth it. It¡¯s a petty prank. Just brush it off. Don¡¯t you-

    I inhaled to speak, pausing for just a moment. ¡°I think I¡¯m gonna go to school with you guys.¡±

    And¡­ you just screwed your life up again.

    Both their smiles vanished. ¡°What?¡± they said.

    ¡°Yeah. Maybe it won¡¯t be that bad. I mean, it gets pretty boring just sitting around here, you know? Plus, you guys are gonna keep treating me like dirt whether or not I go to school, so what¡¯s the difference?¡±

    I walked around them, soda dripping from my hair. ¡°Why shouldn¡¯t I go? I can take all the classes I want.¡± I gasped dramatically. ¡°I can take Cooking class now! I love cooking! I was so sad just now, thinking I wouldn¡¯t be able to take it because I would be in a virtual school. But now I have the opportunity!¡±

    I turned around to smile at them. They stared at me with pure horror, faces as pale as ghosts. The bowl of chips slipped out of Tommy¡¯s elbow and spilled onto the floor.

    ¡°I have you to thank,¡± I said sweetly. ¡°You¡¯ve illuminated me! I shouldn¡¯t miss out on a chance to have a¡­ somewhat normal life, especially when I only have six months here! Who knows when I¡¯ll have another chance at a real education?¡±

    ¡°N-no, no, no. No.¡± Tommy held up a finger. ¡°Just stick with the virtual program, okay?¡± He chuckled nervously. ¡°High school¡­ it¡¯s boring, It¡¯s-¡±

    ¡°Maybe to you, but to me¡­¡± I took a deep breath through the nose. ¡°It¡¯ll be a whole other world to explore.¡±

    ¡°W-well¡­ go to a different school! They have the same-¡±

    ¡°Now, why would I do that? I don¡¯t want to start off not knowing anyone. You¡¯ll keep me company!¡± I smiled sweetly at them. ¡°Thank you so much for finalizing my decision.¡± I twirled my sticky hair around my finger. ¡°I¡¯ll just, uh¡­¡±

    I took one of the cans away from Tommy and opened it, letting it hiss. I sniffed it a bit, nodding approvingly, and took a sip. He only stared at me, seemingly paralyzed.

    With a smile, I threw the rest of the soda into Tommy¡¯s face.

    ¡°Hey-¡± Harry approached me. I turned the can on him, wetting his shirt.

    I dropped the can with a clatter and crushed it under my foot. ¡°You, uh¡­ have something on your face.¡± I pointed at them. ¡°Too bad it¡¯s not egg.¡± I giggled as I left them frozen in place. ¡°Make sure to clean that up before your parents see it.¡±

    I would regret this decision. But despite the stupidity of my petty revenge¡­

    That¡­ felt¡­ good.

    ~~~

    Susan

    ¡°But who told them? How¡­ I don¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°She said she saw you at the caf¨¦ that day.¡±

    ¡°And she just told everyone? She didn¡¯t call me or ask me what was happening, she just¡­ told everyone!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Susan. You know how it is here, people say things¡­¡±

    Davis came into the room. Noticing my demeanor, he looked at me questioningly. I waved him off before he could speak. ¡°Well, tell her to mind her own business. Or- no, scratch that. I¡¯ll tell her myself.¡±

    ¡°Okay. Susan, don¡¯t let this stop you from coming. We miss you. And the boys¡¯ music, it always brought such a spirit to the service.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll think about it. Bye.¡± I hung up. I didn¡¯t mean to be rude, but I was too upset to even think about going back to church now.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Davis asked me.

    ¡°Jeanine saw us at the caf¨¦ when we met Diana,¡± I said.

    ¡°Oh.¡± He scratched his head. ¡°What did she say?¡±

    ¡°I was talking to Kelsey. Jeanine told everybody! The whole church! She said all these ridiculous things- she didn¡¯t even ask me what was happening! Everyone knows now!¡±

    ¡°Well, what did she say?¡± Davis repeated.

    ¡°That we¡¯re replacing our daughter, using Diana to relieve our grief, like she¡¯s some kind of Barbie! All these disgusting things!¡± I sat on the bed. ¡°This is why I never liked her. She just sees something and starts judging everyone and telling everyone¡­¡±

    Davis sat next to me. ¡°Well¡­¡±

    ¡°Well, what?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s kind of right, Susan.¡± He shrugged guiltily.

    ¡°How is she right? Diana¡­ her appearance is a fluke. We were going to help a foster child. That was it.¡±

    ¡°But it hasn¡¯t been long, my love.¡±

    I stayed silent. In part, he was right¡­ I saw Diana and I wanted her to be with us. Who could blame me, though? I was looking at my baby¡¯s face. I could see her¡­

    But that wasn¡¯t the only reason. I wanted to help other children out there. Diana has a pretty disturbing past. I would love to help¡­ relieve some of it, at least.

    Either way, Jeanine started a rumor. Again. She hadn¡¯t even apologized. Just last year, she thought Amy had turned to drugs.

    Yeah, sure. She turned to drugs. Chemo drugs.

    ¡°She¡¯s wrong, Davis. She doesn¡¯t know this family, she doesn¡¯t know what we¡¯re feeling. She didn¡¯t have any right to go around telling everyone!¡± I stood, pacing quickly. ¡°The way she made it sound made us look like psychos! And they want us to go back?! Oh, no. I¡¯m not going to face everyone after what she told them.¡±

    ¡°Susan, please, calm down-¡±

    ¡°Stop telling me to calm down, because I¡¯m not calming down. My God, how dare she! If she lost her baby, how would she feel?¡±

    ¡°Honey, you¡¯re shaking! Please, take a deep breath.¡±

    Someone knocked at the door. I quickly composed myself and tried to breathe normally, lacing my trembling hands behind me. ¡°Who is it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Diana.¡±

    ¡°Come in, sweetheart.¡±

    She opened the door. Just seeing her brought me back to when our lives were normal. When my baby girl would come bouncing on her feet, asking me for permission to watch TV, or use the computer, or just to complain about her brothers annoying her.

    It¡¯s not her. It¡¯s another girl with her own family. This is Diana.

    ¡°I needed to ask you about school¡­¡± Diana started.

    ¡°Oh, sure, honey. You have any questions?¡±

    ¡°I was¡­¡± She cleared her throat. ¡°I think I want to go to school face-to-face. At Summit High.¡±

    My stomach dropped to my feet. I tried to mask it with a smile. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I gave it some thought, and¡­ there¡¯s a lot of classes that I want to take, but they¡¯re not available online. So¡­ I really want to go to school now. Maybe it¡¯ll be different. Last time, it was just elementary school, so¡­ it might be a better experience.¡±

    I glanced at Davis for help. His mouth flapped, but no sound came out. Why did I even expect help from him? Turning to Diana, I tried to act as normal as possible. ¡°Um¡­ are you sure, sweetheart? I mean¡­ the boys have been pretty rude to you. I¡¯m trying to talk to them. I don¡¯t want you to force yourself to spend time with them.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. They¡¯re in different grades.¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah, but¡­¡±

    ¡°Maybe you could try out a different school?¡± Davis suggested.

    ¡°Yeah. We thought you could go to Lawson High. That way you and the boys can spend some time apart. They get pretty mischievous around their friends, and we wouldn¡¯t be there to stop them. We can only punish them after the fact.¡±

    Diana¡¯s eyes suddenly filled with tears and she grew anxious. ¡°B-but¡­ I don¡¯t know anyone at Lawson.¡±

    ¡°You would only know them at this school, anyway,¡± said Davis. ¡°Don¡¯t cry, Diana-¡±

    ¡°No, I can¡¯t- I can¡¯t go to school alone! Please, I want to go with the boys, I need the support, I can¡¯t be alone! Please? I promise everything will be okay, and we¡¯ll get along, I just need someone I know close to me because then I¡¯m too scared and I¡¯m gonna screw up and they¡¯ll suspend me-¡±

    I didn¡¯t know what to do. From her file, I figured she¡¯d hate going to school. I was sure she¡¯d stay online. Where did this come from?

    ¡°Okay, okay, it¡¯s okay!¡± I put my hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down. Tears covered her cheeks. ¡°It¡¯s alright. Um¡­ we¡¯ll talk to Tommy and Harry, okay? We¡¯ll make sure they¡¯re not rude to you at school. Okay? But¡­ if you change your mind, let us know. Lawson¡¯s a good school, too.¡±

    ¡°Diana, really, you¡¯re not going to see much of Tommy and Harry,¡± said Davis. ¡°If you go to Lawson, there¡¯s not much of a difference.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but¡­¡± She sniffled. ¡°At least I know there¡¯s a familiar face nearby, you know?¡±

    ¡°Are you sure? Virtual school has a lot,¡± I said. ¡°That way you don¡¯t have to wake up so early, or-¡±

    Diana stepped back, gazing at us with hurt in her eyes. She sniffled and wiped her eyes. ¡°I get it. You¡­ you don¡¯t want me to embarrass your sons at school, do you?¡±

    I glanced at Davis again. This was not going well. ¡°No, that¡¯s not it-¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just like them. They freaked out because they didn¡¯t want me with them. But I get it. You¡¯re embarrassed. Like the other families. It¡¯s okay, I¡¯m used to it.¡±

    Oh, God¡­ What could I say? The girl just wanted a normal life. I couldn¡¯t deny her the right to go to the school she wanted. I didn¡¯t know what changed her mind after she was so adamant about staying home.

    ¡°If you want to go with them¡­ then you can go with them, Diana,¡± Davis said slowly. ¡°We just want you to be happy, and we know you and our sons don¡¯t get along well. That¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll get along. I know we will.¡±

    I looked at my husband. We didn¡¯t really have much of a choice. ¡°Okay, we¡¯ll just¡­ talk to them.¡±

    Her face instantly brightened up. I felt a stab in my heart from her familiar smile. My beautiful princess¡­ she lit up the room with that smile. The house was so much darker after¡­

    ¡°Thank you! Thank you, Davis. And Susan. I¡¯m so excited to make new friends¡­ and take Cooking class! I can¡¯t wait!¡± She squealed, bouncing on her feet, and ran to her room. ¡°I¡¯m going to see what I can wear!¡±

    For moments, we just stood there, contemplating the situation.

    ¡°This just got a whole lot worse,¡± Davis finally broke the silence.

 5~ Quicksand

    Tommy

    ¡°Shirley, for the last time, I didn¡¯t want her at school. It just happened, okay?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s gotta be something you can do,¡± she replied.

    I sighed, lowering my phone for just a moment as I paced around, my stress level rising to new heights. I took a deep breath and raised my phone to my ear again. ¡°What do you expect me to do? Tie her to her chair and lock her in her room before I get on the bus?¡±

    ¡°Just scare her out of going to school.¡±

    I scoffed. ¡°Yeah, like it¡¯s that easy.¡±

    ¡°How is that not easy? In what universe does someone actually want to go to school? Just the thought of school makes me feel like throwing up.¡± She gagged. ¡°I thought about it.¡±

    I sighed, finally crashing onto Harry¡¯s bed. The tension in my shoulders built up, bunching their muscles enough to give me my own personal shoulder pads.

    ¡°What made her want to go to school in the first place?¡± Shirley asked. ¡°I thought you said she didn¡¯t like it.¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± I sighed again, massaging the bridge of my nose. ¡°It was all Harry¡¯s fault.¡± I paused, my pride pushing its way up my throat as I forcefully swallowed it down. ¡°And¡­ I guess mine, too.¡±

    ¡°Would you get to the point?¡±

    ¡°Mom asked her if she wanted to go to school. She said no. And she was going to go online, but we¡­¡±

    ¡°You¡­ what?¡± she asked.

    I bit my lip, ready for her rant. ¡°Later on, we told her to get some chips, and she said no, so Kyle made Harry and I go instead-¡±

    ¡°Point.¡±

    ¡°Okay, long story short, Harry poured soda over her head and she decided to go to school with us.¡±

    A pause. ¡°You poured soda over her head?¡±

    ¡°Well, she didn¡¯t bring us chips, so I thought-¡±

    ¡°Oh, un-be-lie-vable!¡±

    I sighed for the third time and waited as she went on and on about how idiotic we were and about the consequences of Diana going to Summit High with us.

    She loved repeating herself over and over and over¡­

    At the end of the stream of curses and insults directed at me and my brothers, peppered with colorful names like ¡®idiot¡¯, ¡®moron¡¯, ¡®brainless¡¯, and ¡®dolt¡¯, I was finally allowed to speak.

    ¡°Are you done?¡±

    ¡°Obviously,¡± she sighed, sounding exhausted.

    ¡°Okay, look, maybe she¡¯ll change her mind. It was spur-of-the-moment. When it¡¯s almost time for school to start, most likely she¡¯ll back out and go online. So¡­ let¡¯s just hope.¡±

    ¡°Just tell her why you don¡¯t want her to go.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯ll just egg her on. It¡¯s all out of spite, Shirley.¡±

    ¡°No, tell her the actual reason. Tell her about-¡±

    I glanced out the door before speaking. ¡°I¡¯m not saying anything about Amy,¡± I whispered.

    ¡°Why not?!¡±

    ¡°Shirley, it¡¯s not as easy as you think to broach a subject like that!¡±

    ¡°Eventually, she¡¯s going to find out. Might as well,¡± Shirley said insensitively.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m not-¡±

    ¡°UGH!¡± I leaned the phone away from my ear, wincing.

    ¡°Why do you always have to make everything so complicated?! Amy¡¯s gone, so move on! Tell her before it gets worse!¡±

    I clenched my jaw, pushing down my anger. ¡°I¡¯m not saying anything. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s none of her business,¡± I said through gritted teeth. ¡°She¡¯s leaving in six months, anyway.¡± I didn¡¯t want to go off on her. Sure, she did the same, but she was just a bit annoying and loud. Whenever I went off on her, she¡¯d burst into tears. I didn¡¯t want to scare her like that.

    But I really wished she could be more sympathetic about Amy. My God, hardly four months had passed since she died, and Shirley already expected me to just ¡®get over it already¡¯. As she would say, it wasn¡¯t like we got along much, anyway.

    In part, she was right. My¡ª our¡ª relationship with Amy had been tense in recent years, but that didn¡¯t mean we didn¡¯t love her. She was still our baby sister.

    ¡°Six months is perfectly enough for everyone at school to ruin our lives over this, Tommy. And she might even stay longer! It¡¯s gonna screw everything up for us.¡±

    ¡°Oh, please, Shirley, this¡¯ll hardly involve you. The ones who¡¯ll suffer are me and Harry, and you know it.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?! I¡¯m your girlfriend, remember? I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to handle being with you if people are saying so many things.¡± As I feared, she started to cry. ¡°I-it¡¯s not fair. You know I do a lot for you, right? I take damage when I¡¯m with you, and I willingly take it because I love you. So many girls hate me because you picked me out of so many options¡­¡±

    I sighed. I hated when she cried like this.

    ¡°We already have so little time together because of this¡­ ghost twin foster rat. I don¡¯t want everyone at school to drive a bigger wedge between us. Don¡¯t let that happen. I can¡¯t live without you.¡±

    ¡®Ghost twin foster rat¡¯? That was¡­ new.

    ¡°Okay. I¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Shirley. I love you, too, and I don¡¯t want you suffering because of all this. I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll talk to her, okay? I¡¯ll try to convince her.¡± Jack walked past my door as I spoke, stopping short and peeking inside.

    She sniffled. ¡°Okay. Love you, Tommy-bear.¡±

    I winced. Thank God Jack couldn¡¯t hear that. ¡°I love you, too. Bye.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± she whined. ¡°I called you Tommy-bear.¡±

    I hesitated, glancing at Jack, who smirked as he leaned on my doorframe. I glared at him and covered my mouth as I whispered in the microphone.

    ¡°Love you, Shirl-bear.¡±

    ¡°What? I didn¡¯t hear that.¡±

    I sighed with dread, glancing at my older brother again. I seriously felt like punching him so I wouldn¡¯t see that stupid smile of his, but it would probably fail. I never got to land a good blow on him.

    Amy did, though¡­

    ¡°I love you¡­ Shirl-bear,¡± I forced out.

    Jack snorted.

    ¡°Bye!¡± Shirley hung up.

    When I put my phone down, Jack burst out laughing. ¡°Shirl-bear?!¡± He leaned on the door and slid down to the floor, clutching his stomach.

    ¡°Would you stop? It¡¯s not like you and Amelia are any better.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    I raised a brow. ¡°¡®I love you, babe¡¯, ¡®I love you more, babe¡¯, ¡®You¡¯re the best boyfriend in the world, Jackie¡¯, ¡®You¡¯re the most beautiful girl in the world, Ameli-baby¡¯.¡± I gagged and made faces.

    Jack chuckled and stepped further inside. ¡°It¡¯s still better than Shirl-bear.¡±

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not. What are you doing here?¡±

    ¡°Well, I heard you arguing with Shirley, so I wanted to see what the hot gossip was about.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t arguing with-¡±

    ¡°Tom, I know when you guys are fighting.¡±

    I glared at him and pretended to look at my phone. He frowned at me, his arms crossing. He had that knit between his brows. He always frowned like that about Shirley. ¡°Did you come in here just to stare?¡± I said.

    ¡°Tom¡­ listen, I know you don¡¯t want to hear this.¡± He approached me. ¡°But when I heard you talking to her, I couldn¡¯t help but notice a little¡­ pattern.¡±

    ¡°What pattern?¡± I frowned.

    ¡°She seems to expect you to¡­ I don¡¯t know, solve everything. Like right now. She wanted you to force stop Diana from going to school. I mean¡­ you could try and convince her, but like you said, it won¡¯t do anything.¡±

    ¡°You really like eavesdropping on my conversations, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°You raise your voice when you talk to her,¡± he remarked. ¡°She just tends to be really demanding, that¡¯s all. And really, what is she so worried about? Diana being in school won¡¯t affect her.¡±

    ¡°Well, it might. She¡¯s dating me,¡± I pointed out.

    ¡°Still, people won¡¯t be focusing on her. All she has to do is distance herself and that¡¯s it. Everyone will be focusing on you¡­ well, all of us.¡±

    I huffed and stood, distancing myself from him. ¡°Stop telling me something I already know! I know all this, okay?! Everyone at school will be talking about me, about Harry, everyone. Everyone.¡± I held up my phone. ¡°You don¡¯t want Shirley blaming me or name-calling me? You think she¡¯s so demanding?¡± I tossed it to him. ¡°Fine. You tell her. Tell her you¡¯ll do something about it. That way, she can stop being so ¡®demanding¡¯ towards me.¡±

    I slumped back in my bed. Jack picked up my phone. For a couple moments, we were silent.

    ¡°Okay, you know what, never mind.¡± He tossed the phone back to me. ¡°I wanted to have a calm conversation, but I guess that¡¯s not gonna happen.¡± He turned to leave.

    ¡°No, you just came in here to bug me. Like you always have.¡±

    ¡°I just wanted to-¡±

    ¡°Forget it.¡± I returned to my phone.

    He stared at me for a few more moments before leaving. My eyes lingered on the ceiling for a while, my sister¡¯s face swirling in my mind. I got off my bed and looked down the hall at Amy¡¯s room.

    Amy¡¯s room. Not Diana¡¯s.

    If she didn¡¯t change her mind¡­ if she went to school with us¡­ we¡¯d have to do our best to make her leave.

    ~~~

    Kyle

    Jack stormed into the room, throwing himself onto his bed. He picked up his phone and texted someone.

    ¡°How¡¯d it go?¡± I asked as I scrolled through my computer.

    ¡°How do you think it went?¡±

    ¡°So they were arguing?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and then we argued. I told you. He¡¯s never in a good mood when he talks to Shirley, and he¡¯s stressed about Diana, too.¡±

    ¡°She hasn¡¯t changed her mind at all?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡± Jack shook his head.

    I sighed stressfully, massaging the back of my neck. ¡°Well, the more we wait-¡±

    ¡°Shh. Gimme a sec.¡± He raised his phone to his mouth. ¡°No, he didn¡¯t want to talk about Shirley. She¡¯s on him about Diana. I guess we¡¯re going to have to convince her ourselves not to go.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°Amelia.¡±

    ¡°Alright, we have a few minutes before work, so let¡¯s just talk to her.¡± I put my computer to sleep and rose from my chair, stretching. ¡°Maybe if we approach her nicely, she¡¯ll consider not going.¡±

    He rolled his eyes, but got up anyway, and we headed to the room. Tentatively, I knocked. She didn¡¯t answer at first.

    ¡°Diana, you in there?¡±

    A thump. Then a drawer closing.

    ¡°Listen, um¡­ could we talk to you? Just for a bit? Please?¡±

    Still no answer.

    ¡°We can hear you. Please, we¡¯re not coming to bug you. This is serious,¡± Jack said.

    A sigh. The doorknob rattled and she revealed herself. ¡°What do you want?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡± I glanced at Jack awkwardly. ¡°Could we come in?¡±

    She gave us a confused look, then shrugged and stepped aside. We looked around her room as we moved to sit on her bed; we hadn¡¯t seen what she¡¯d done with the place.

    It was weird seeing it so clean and neat. Everything was organized and placed in proper order. A complete contrast to Amy¡¯s style; messy with piles of papers, stuffed animals, and art supplies everywhere. Even our rooms were 10 times neater than usual because of Diana. How did she learn to clean so well?

    I pushed down the rising guilt as she sat at her desk, writing in a notebook. ¡°What did you want?¡± she asked flatly.

    We glanced at each other. I held up my hands and nodded at Jack to continue. I¡¯d gotten us in the room; it was his turn to contribute. ¡°Uh, well, we¡­ we were wondering¡­ about you going to school.¡±

    She sighed. ¡°For the last time, I¡¯m not changing my mind.¡±

    ¡°Diana, there¡¯s other schools you can go to. It¡¯s not like-¡±

    ¡°I saw the other schools. Not interested. And I don¡¯t want to go alone.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s it?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Why should you care?¡±

    ¡°Well, we care because¡­ because of the effects that¡¯ll¡­ how you¡¯ll¡­¡± Jack sighed, looking at me pleadingly.

    I rolled my eyes and continued. ¡°We¡¯re worried that this might affect them a bit¡­ negatively.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± She turned in her chair, glaring at us. ¡°They¡¯re embarrassed, right?¡± She scoffed. ¡°Join the club.¡±

    ¡°Not exactly embarrassed.¡± How would I explain this without telling her the truth? That wasn¡¯t an option.

    ¡°Then what? What¡¯s the big deal?¡±

    ¡°Well, Diana, we¡¯ve seen your file,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Are you sure you want to go to school after all that¡¯s happened? You could get expelled again.¡±

    ¡°That was when I was younger. I know how to control myself better now.¡± She turned back to her notebook. ¡°It¡¯s not going to be as bad as before. I¡¯ll make sure of it.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be too confident. I mean, people might-¡±

    ¡°People can go suck an egg.¡± She shifted in her seat as she spoke, playing with her hair.

    ¡°But you were fine with going online before. Did you really change your mind just because Harry poured soda on your head?¡± I said.

    She turned to face us again. ¡°No, of course not. I was already thinking about it. It seemed¡­ I don¡¯t know, more interesting than I initially thought. There¡¯s classes I want to take, things I want to do. I might as well make the most out of it if I¡¯m only staying here for six months. Supposedly.¡± She wrung her hands together, massaging her forearms.

    I narrowed my eyes. She seemed really¡­ tense? I wasn¡¯t sure.

    Once again, she turned back to her book. ¡°It¡¯s great that you¡¯re looking out for your little brothers and everything, but I¡¯m still going to school. I could walk instead of getting on the bus, or pretend I don¡¯t know them, or do whatever so I won¡¯t embarrass them, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re worried about. It¡¯s simple.¡±

    I looked at Jack with dread. Considering lots of Summit alumni went to Greenfield U, we would be almost as affected.

    ¡°Are you done?¡±

    I sighed. ¡°Yeah, forget it.¡± I left in a flash. Jack followed, closing the door.

    Honestly, she would regret it. People at their school weren¡¯t going to be welcoming towards her when they saw her. What would they say? About us, about our parents?

    Amy, please¡­ I need you¡­

    When we got to work later in the evening, I was more stressed than ever. I didn¡¯t realize how angry I looked as I walked up to the desk Nicole and I managed every evening.

    ¡°Who spit in your coffee this morning?¡± Nicole quipped as she wiped down the surface. ¡°Was it Jack?¡±

    ¡°Diana,¡± I said shortly, adjusting the ID badge around my neck.

    Nicole raised her brows. ¡°Diana spit in your coffee?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± I sighed. ¡°We were trying to convince her not to go to school, but she¡¯s not giving in. She wants to go, and we can¡¯t stop her.¡±

    A customer approached the desk, forcing us to briefly pause our conversation. Nicole instantly put on a smile, which made my knees melt. I loved her smile. ¡°Welcome to Electrocubic! How may we help you?¡± she greeted.

    ¡°I¡¯m looking for a game for my son¡­ I looked in your videogame section, but I don¡¯t see it. Any chance it¡¯s in stock?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the name of the game?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡± He took his phone out of his pocket. ¡°Evoline: The Empire of Daemons.¡±

    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll search it up right now, sir.¡± She turned to the computer.

    ¡°What should I do?¡± I asked, continuing our conversation. ¡°It¡¯s not like I can force her to stay home or anything.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Ky.¡± She shook her head. ¡°I guess¡­ you have no choice but to deal with it.¡± She turned back to the customer and finished helping him.

    ¡°You think you can talk to her somehow?¡± I tentatively asked.

    ¡°Me? What can I do?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. You have a way with people.¡±

    ¡°Have a good day, sir.¡± She looked at me. ¡°Kyle, I hardly know Diana. I doubt she¡¯ll listen to her foster brother¡¯s girlfriend. She¡¯s only seen me once.¡±

    ¡°She might like you better.¡±

    She sighed. ¡°She¡¯s going to keep making decisions like this just to ruin your lives because you guys are nasty to her. My advice? Stop being nasty to her.¡±

    I scratched my nape, the guilt rising again. ¡°It¡¯s not that I want to be nasty¡­¡± I could feel myself turning red in shame. ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ our parents changed. But we can¡¯t say anything to them. It¡¯s not fair. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s sick. God, how did they get so crazy? I love them, but¡­ why did they have to do this?¡± I clutched my head.

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t know that. It¡¯s not her fault.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know. I just don¡¯t want to¡­ you know.¡±

    Nicole nodded understandingly. ¡°Yeah. I know.¡±

    Another customer approached the desk. ¡°Excuse me, where can I find SD cards?¡± she asked.

    ¡°In that section over there, by the televisions.¡± Nicole pointed.

    ¡°Thank you.¡± The woman left.

    ¡°Honestly, this all feels like a dream,¡± I said to Nicole, echoing my past thoughts. ¡°Maybe I just fell into some nightmare after Amy passed. Maybe it was too much.¡±

    ¡°If that¡¯s true, then I guess we¡¯re so in love that we wound up having the same dream,¡± Nicole joked dryly.

    I gave her a half-smirk. There was a long stretch of silence.

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡± My mouth opened to continue, but my voice stuck in my throat. I took a few moments, trying to find the correct words. ¡°Is this¡­ like a punishment? Is God punishing us for¡­ being so horrible to Amy? Were¡­ were we that bad?¡± My voice shook and I swallowed. My throat painfully tightened.

    Nicole gazed at me. ¡°Kyle, you loved her. We all did. And she knew that.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we loved her, but we didn¡¯t show it. We were so mean¡­ and we still haven¡¯t changed.¡±

    ¡°Kyle¡­¡±

    I could feel my eyes watering. ¡°I know there¡¯s a lot I¡¯m doing wrong. But am I doing that much wrong? To deserve this?¡±

    As a third customer approached, I quickly hid my teary eyes away, breathing deeply and wiping them discreetly. I wished we could¡¯ve taken the day off. It was hard not to break down while trying to be friendly to every single customer¡­

    ¡°Welcome to Electrocubic,¡± Nicole greeted.

    ¡°Where are your wireless earbuds?¡± the man asked.

    ¡°They should be right there, to your left.¡± Nicole pointed at the adjacent section.

    ¡°Nic¡­ I feel like I¡¯m in quicksand,¡± I continued. ¡°Everything¡¯s crashing down around me, sinking deeper and deeper¡­ there¡¯s just no way out. I can¡¯t call for help, I can¡¯t pull myself out.¡±

    She approached me and took my by the shoulders, pressing her forehead to mine. ¡°Kyle¡­ I know this is hard for you. It¡¯s hard on all of us. I wish I could help you somehow, or come up with some bright idea. But if it¡¯s quicksand we¡¯re stuck in, then all we can do is stay still and hope we don¡¯t sink any deeper. Because the more you fight it, the more it¡¯ll pull you down.¡±

    I only stared at her hopelessly. The anxiety was overwhelming.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on, either. I guess the best we can do is hold hands, lean back, and¡­ try to relax.¡±

    I nodded, sniffling. She reached up and wiped a stray tear from my cheek.

    ¡°We¡¯re in this together, okay?¡± she whispered.

    I nodded again. She reached up and kissed me softly on the lips. We sunk into the moment for just a few seconds before parting. We needed to get back into ¡®work mode¡¯. While we were here, the customers were our priority.

    What would I do without her?

 6~ Sophomore

    09.05.23

    Dear Diary, today is the first day of school. I¡¯m really regretting my decision now.

    One thing I¡¯ve learned throughout the years is how to manipulate. I never like using that skill¡ª I only use it when I need it. It was actually kind of scary, knowing how gullible Susan and Davis really are (I¡¯m one to talk, though, people trick me all the time). But the whole time I thought¡­ I would find out what their dirty little secret about me is.

    Seriously, what was I thinking?! Now I¡¯m stuck! Otherwise, I¡¯ll be giving the boys the satisfaction of knowing I chickened out. I can¡¯t stand the thought of them being right.

    I¡¯ll just have to hope this will be different from my past school experiences. It has been a long time. High school should be different. I¡¯ve matured. And since the boys are in different grades, we shouldn¡¯t see each other that much, which lowers their chances of ruining my first day a little. Just a little.

    I just have to not get into fights or hang out with ¡®problematic¡¯ people (people like me, basically) and I¡¯ll be fine.

    Sincerely,

    Diana.

    At my mirror, I straightened my long-sleeved yellow shirt, which had a small flower pattern on the top right. It was nice and simple, and it combined well with the jean jacket and white skirt Susan bought me. A pair of white sneakers completed the outfit. My hair was straightened, which was a little strange for me. It was always wavy. A white flower pin kept it out of my face.

    I really hoped I didn¡¯t look stupid. I put on my new yellow backpack and took a deep breath. Here goes.

    I came out of my room. The boys were still not ready, slowly dressing themselves with zombie-like sleepiness. ¡°Boys, it¡¯s 7:05! The bus is coming soon, hurry up!¡± Susan shouted from the landing. ¡°Diana! Are you ready?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± I went downstairs. My stomach flipped.

    Her face brightened when she saw me. ¡°Oh, Diana, you look beautiful.¡±

    I blushed. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    ¡°You ready?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m excited.¡±

    She wrung her hands. ¡°If you ever change your mind¡­ just tell me, okay?¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± I said, mentally slapping myself.

    Tommy and Harry soon came down, pausing when they looked at me. ¡°What are you wearing?¡± Tommy asked.

    ¡°What?¡± I said.

    They glanced at each other, grinning.

    ¡°Boys, be nice,¡± Susan said sternly. ¡°I think she looks great.¡±

    I glared at them, looking at their outfits. Susan did the same, frowning. ¡°You¡¯re wearing that old thing?¡± she said, pointing at Harry¡¯s shirt. It was a faded red shirt with ¡®I¡¯D RATHER BE SLEEPING¡¯ printed in orange. It looked quite old and worn, especially with the jeans.

    ¡°Why? It¡¯s a shirt,¡± he said.

    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s old.¡± Susan headed upstairs. ¡°I¡¯ll get you a new one.¡±

    ¡°Oh, come on, Mom, the bus is coming!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll only be a minute! Just take off your shirt there!¡±

    Harry looked at me. ¡°Diana¡¯s right here!¡±

    ¡°So? It¡¯s only your shirt!¡±

    I scoffed with ridicule. He glared at me as he took off his shirt. He had a lean body¡ª nothing super muscular or anything, but it was obvious he worked out enough. As expected of a football player.

    I couldn¡¯t imagine how arrogant these guys were. Somehow, I imagined them as the high school movie stereotype, with all the cheerleaders fawning over them.

    ¡°What, are you embarrassed?¡± I said to Harry as he stood awkwardly.

    ¡°No.¡± He crumbled his shirt in his hands.

    ¡°Single pringle,¡± Tommy coughed into his fist. Harry bristled and jumped on him. I watched with a raised brow as the two brawled.

    ¡°I can hear you!¡± Susan called. They stopped. Harry gave his brother one last shove.

    She came down with a newer green shirt and gave it to Harry. ¡°There. Now you look less like a slob,¡± she said. Harry rolled his eyes and put it on, giving her the old shirt.

    She hugged us and kissed each of us on the cheek. Her eyes shone with contained tears. Davis came out of the kitchen, coming over to us. ¡°Diana, here¡¯s your lunch.¡± He handed me a paper bag. ¡°And some lunch money just in case. But cafeteria food is disgusting.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Davis.¡± I took the dollar bills and side-hugged him.

    ¡°Okay, picture! Picture!¡± She took out her phone. The boys groaned and unwillingly stood in front of the door. I stepped aside, snickering as they tried to smile.

    ¡°Diana, come on!¡± Susan motioned for me to join them.

    ¡°Mom, we have to go.¡± Tommy opened the door before she could take another picture. Secretly relieved, I followed them out.

    As we walked, I nervously ran my fingers up and down my backpack straps. ¡°So, uh¡­ could you guys give me some pointers? About the bus? Do we choose our seats or something?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. You choose your seat, you stick with it. So choose wisely,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°And stick to the middle seats,¡± Tommy added.

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Basic rules. What, you¡¯ve never ridden a bus before?¡±

    I clenched my jaw at his condescension. ¡°Yes.¡± A pause. ¡°When I was four.¡±

    We stopped at the bus corner with a few other people. A few moments later, the behemoth came around the corner, roaring down the street. It stopped in front of us with a loud hiss. The sudden noise startled me and I stepped back, my hands shooting to my ears.

    Breathe, breathe¡­ don¡¯t do this here.

    My vision darkened and rippled only for a few seconds as the doors folded open. I managed to keep myself calm enough as we boarded. I glanced at the bus driver, who was a pale, balding man, probably in his 60¡¯s, wearing a plaid shirt and chewing a toothpick. He had sunglasses covering his eyes.

    What a clich¨¦.

    I looked around the bus as we walked down the aisle. There were already a few students here, talking to each other or scrolling on their phones. Harry and Tommy sat in the middle-back section on the left, leaving a space open for me. Before I could sit down, however, Tommy put his backpack on the seat.

    I glared at them as they smiled smugly at me. With a sigh, I turned away and looked for another seat. There weren¡¯t any fully empty seats, so I had no choice but to sit next to someone. Just great.

    ¡°Hey, would you sit down already? I gotta move this thing,¡± the bus driver said.

    His voice called attention to me. I pushed down the rising anxiety, warding away the flashbacks.

    12 years ago, it was the same¡­ the same scenario¡­

    While some of the people at the front glanced at me briefly, the rest of the passengers gawked at me, their mouths staying open long enough for a fly to zoom inside and choke them. I sort of wished that would happen.

    Not here, too¡­

    What? What was it about me that triggered this reaction?

    ¡°Sit down, please!¡±

    I hurried over to a seat in the middle-front section, on the right. A girl with carob-brown skin and pixie-cut hair sat next to the window, earbuds in her ears.

    ¡°Finally.¡± The bus driver closed the doors and drove forward.

    I glanced back at the brothers, who were now talking. The people in the backseat still stared at me, prompting me to look away. The girl next to me hadn¡¯t talked to me yet. She kept her eyes out the window, lightly bobbing her head to her music.

    Stolen novel; please report.

    Okay. I was on a bus. A school bus. This was it. No backing out.

    God, what was I thinking?!

    I clenched the hem of my skirt and leaned my head back, taking deep breaths. I glanced across the aisle, seeing two girls whispering as they looked at me.

    All I needed to do was keep my head down and get through the day. I couldn¡¯t panic. It always messed me up every time I would go to school.

    ¡°Hi.¡±

    I looked at the girl beside me. Her earbuds were off. She regarded me with a friendly smile. My anxiety was a strong opponent. I was sure I looked like a psycho as I tried to smile back, sweat breaking out on my forehead. ¡°H-hi.¡±

    The girl stuck out her hand. ¡°I¡¯m Mildred Dawson. I¡¯m new here. You?¡±

    Huh. She didn¡¯t look at me like that. This relaxed me just a bit.

    ¡°I¡¯m Diana Watson.¡± I accepted the handshake. ¡°I¡¯m new here, too.¡±

    ¡°Cool. Did you move here?¡± She put away her phone and earbuds, giving me her full attention.

    ¡°Uh, yeah.¡±

    ¡°Nice. I didn¡¯t move, but I hated my old school, so I transferred here this year. It¡¯s a lot farther, but hopefully, it¡¯ll be better. Where¡¯d you move from?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ Lewis County.¡±

    ¡°Oh, not far. Any siblings?¡±

    She was quite the chatty person. I was hoping to just shrink into myself the whole bus ride.

    Then again, maybe making a friend would give me some degree of immunity¡­ unless her intentions were elsewhere. What if someone dared her to talk to me? Wait, no, we just started. What if she wanted to make fun of me?

    ¡°N¡­ no. Just me,¡± I answered.

    ¡°Lucky.¡± She nudged me. ¡°I got a really annoying little brother.¡±

    I glanced at the brothers again. They didn¡¯t acknowledge me as they talked to the people behind them, laughing. Mildred followed my gaze. ¡°Who¡¯re they?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ I don¡¯t know. I was just¡­ looking around at everyone.¡± I turned away.

    She continued staring at them. ¡°They¡¯re cute.¡±

    Wait, what? I twisted uncomfortably in my seat. ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Those two over there, see?¡± She subtly nodded at them. I pretended to look. ¡°Especially that one on the left.¡± She was talking about Harry.

    ¡°Maybe they have girlfriends,¡± I said.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯ll have to ask him.¡± She smiled, biting her lip as she checked him out. ¡°Anyway, what year are you in?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Sophomore,¡± I replied, relieved for the change of conversation.

    ¡°Cool. I¡¯m a junior. It¡¯s a shame, though; we won¡¯t have the same lunch period.¡± Her phone buzzed and she checked it briefly. ¡°But hey, I know someone now. Diana Watson, my first friend.¡± She smiled at me.

    I smiled back at her genuinely.

    ~~~

    Upon entering, I went to the office, as Susan had told me last night. She¡¯d asked the school to give me a tour guide for my first day. I was a bit worried that this would call attention to me, but it was better than wandering around this giant school and getting lost.

    After asking the staff for the tour, I sat and waited for a few minutes until two feet entered my vision, my eyes turned down. ¡°Hi. Are you Diana Watson?¡±

    I looked up at the owner of the friendly voice. A girl with sienna skin and chestnut brown hair stood in front of me, wearing a badge that read ¡®Summit High Welcoming Committee¡¯. Her smile froze in place when I looked at her.

    ¡°Uh, yeah. That¡¯s me.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ r-right. Uh- hi. I¡¯m Alma Santiago. I¡¯m a junior and a member of the Summit High Welcoming Committee.¡± She fingered her badge. ¡°Usually, we help out the freshmen students, but they told me you were¡­ you needed some orientation.¡±

    ¡°I guess so.¡±

    ¡°Okay. So follow me and I¡¯ll lead you to your locker.¡±

    I stood, slinging my bag over my shoulder, and followed Alma down the hall. I kept my eyes on my shoes. If people around me were giving me that look, I couldn¡¯t allow myself to see it.

    Alma herself seemed quite tense around me. Whatever it was, it had to do with the boys and the school. It felt like some kind of urban legend.

    We finally stopped at my locker; 223. I took out my combination and tried to enter it, but failed. After another try, Alma stepped in. ¡°You need any help?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    Step by step, she guided me through the process without asking for my code. 2¡­ 3¡­ 4¡­ 9¡­ I finally opened it after the fifth try. Alma smiled, as if congratulating me, but impatience reflected in her brown irises.

    ¡°What¡¯s your first class?¡± she asked me.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± I looked at my phone. ¡°Biology. Room 102.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s close by. I¡¯ll show you.¡± We started down the hall. After a few awkward beats, she finally spoke again. ¡°Diana- it is Diana, right?¡±

    ¡°Right.¡±

    ¡°The office told me the Fields requested a tour for you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Why them?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m, uh¡­ staying with them.¡± No use lying now.

    She stopped. ¡°What do you mean, ¡®staying with them¡¯?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ uh¡­ I¡¯m a foster kid.¡±

    Alma stared at me, nodding blankly, and continued down the hall. I hurriedly followed, noticing a faster rhythm in her legs. ¡°Why?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Just curious.¡±

    As we speed-walked through the halls, they got less and less crowded. Soon there were only a few clusters of students standing around talking.

    I noticed a few groups staring at me and whispering. When I met their gazes, they looked away or walked in the opposite direction. I was hoping it was just my imagination, but I had a feeling it was very much real.

    Inside the Biology classroom, students sat in desks, two seated in each. There was only one empty desk left, which was at the back.

    ¡°I¡¯m not gonna be here after this period, so what¡¯s your next class?¡± Alma asked me.

    I checked my phone. ¡°Spanish 1, Room 154.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s easy. Go down this hall, make a left, then turn at the stairs¡ª the opposite way. It¡¯ll be the third door on your right. Got it?¡±

    ¡°I think so.¡±

    ¡°Great. Welcome to Summit High, and good luck.¡± She patted my shoulder and left.

    Well, that was¡­ something.

    I hesitantly went inside and took the seat on the right. I put my backpack against my seat and laced my fingers together, looking around at the classroom. No one had noticed me yet.

    ¡°Uh, excuse me.¡±

    I looked up to see a boy standing next to the empty seat I left. He had wavy brown hair and matching brown eyes under thick eyebrows.

    Huh. He¡¯s cute.

    I blinked, realizing I hadn¡¯t answered him. ¡°Oh, hi,¡± I said, my cheeks heating slightly.

    He looked at his schedule. ¡°This is, um, Biology, right?¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡± I nodded, looking down.

    ¡°Great.¡± He put his black backpack down. ¡°Mind if I sit here?¡±

    ¡°S-sure.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± He sat down and stuck his hand out. ¡°I¡¯m Anthony Lowe¡ª my friends call me Tony¡±.

    He didn¡¯t look at me that way¡­ just like Mildred.

    ¡°Diana Watson.¡± I shook his hand.

    ¡°I¡¯m actually new here. I just moved here from New York,¡± he said.

    ¡°I¡¯m new here, too.¡±

    ¡°Nice. I¡¯m not alone,¡± he said, taking off his sport jacket and draping it over his seat.

    The final bell rang and the teacher came in. She put her books on her desk and took some chalk, writing her name on the board. ¡®Mrs. Sylvia Howard¡¯. While she organized her things, a voice started speaking through the intercom.

    ¡°Good morning, everyone! Welcome to your first day at R. T. Summit High School. For those of you who don¡¯t know me, my name is Principal Imelda Blake. It¡¯s a pleasure to have you all with us. I¡¯d like to make a few announcements before you start your first class. Our new Vice Principal this year is Janet Lissing. And I¡¯d like to welcome two new teachers to our staff. Welcome, Tanya Sills, our 12<sup>th</sup> Grade Government and Social Studies professor; and York Steinfeld, our Music Theory professor. And a gentle reminder to all students that today¡¯s schedule will be your regular Monday schedule. Starting next week, you¡¯ll have a different schedule for Tuesday.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s weird,¡± Tony commented.

    ¡°Welcome back again, and have a great first day!¡± The microphone squeaked a little before going silent.

    ¡°Good morning, everyone,¡± the teacher said. ¡°For those of you who don¡¯t know me, I¡¯m Mrs. Howard, your Biology teacher. Now, who¡¯s new this year?¡±

    I raised mine along with Tony and another girl.

    ¡°Three new students. Welcome! Now, to get to know all of you, I¡¯ve prepared a few icebreakers.¡±

    A few groans erupted.

    ¡°Aw, come on! It¡¯s better than doing homework right off the bat, right?¡± She picked up a pile of papers. ¡°Now, everyone move your desks to the side so we can have a nice, open space.¡±

    Everyone stood and moved their bags and desks against the wall. The room was noisy with squeaks and metallic scrapes on the floor, coupled with murmurs from everyone.

    ¡°Okay, here, I¡¯ve got some bingo charts with different attributes on them.¡± Mrs. Howard held up one of the papers to show us. ¡°All of you will go around the room and find other students that have these attributes. When you do, they have to write their initials in the square. Only one student each. First five students to complete their chart get a prize!¡±

    ¡°Yay, breath mints!¡± Tony said under his breath. I snickered.

    ¡°Everyone grab a sheet!¡± She put the pile on the desk. Everyone came forward and grabbed one. Tony took two and handed one to me.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± I wrote my name at the top. There were 9 squares, all of them different; ¡®is an only child¡¯, ¡®has siblings¡¯, ¡®is allergic to nuts¡¯, ¡®likes to read¡¯.

    ¡°I like to read,¡± I said.

    ¡°I have siblings. Well, one.¡± He handed me his chart.

    I gave him mine. ¡°Younger?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, younger sister. Addie. She¡¯s Deaf.¡±

    ¡°Wow, really?¡± I wrote D.W. in the ¡®Likes to read¡¯ square. ¡°I¡¯ve never met anyone Deaf.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she was born Deaf.¡± We switched back. The ¡®siblings¡¯ square now had T. L. written inside. ¡°Do you have any siblings?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Uh¡­¡± I hesitated. ¡°No. Only child.¡±

    ¡°Too bad you can¡¯t initial two.¡± He pointed at the ¡®only child¡¯ square, shrugging. Someone behind him tapped his shoulder, diverting his attention.

    I looked around at everyone else. I wasn¡¯t sure who else to talk to. It took me immense amounts of courage to talk to Mildred and Tony, and both of them had approached me.

    Someone tapped on my shoulder and I turned, smiling. ¡°Hi,¡± I said.

    The girl was smiling, but it instantly faded.

    Oh, God. My smile must¡¯ve looked horrible. I cleared my throat and tried to calm myself. ¡°You, uh¡­ want to¡­ switch charts?¡± I held up mine.

    She continued staring at me, pale as a ghost. I blinked in confusion, my heart tripping over its beats. ¡°Are you alright?¡± I asked her.

    She gulped, stepping back. ¡°Uh¡­ yeah. Yeah. I¡¯ll just, uh¡­¡± She turned, leaving me.

    What happened? Did I scare her that much?

    As I looked around at everyone else, I noticed eyes on me. People were whispering and staring at me, pausing from the game.

    They were looking at me. So many people¡­ looking at me.

    I tried to calm my heart rate as I clutched my bingo chart. What were they looking at? Was it my clothes? My hair? Did I not have enough makeup on? It was enough to cover up the old cuts, I was sure. The swelling had long since gone down weeks ago.

    There was something wrong with me. Everyone gave me that look. Everyone stared at me, and I didn¡¯t know why.

    Too much staring. It was too¡­ much¡­ staring.

    My breath suddenly quickened as my heart skipped a beat. My palms turned clammy.

    Oh, no. It was happening again. I couldn¡¯t do this right now. Not now.

    I went to my desk against the wall and sat down with shaky knees. My vision darkened at the edges. Everything seemed to ripple around me.

    Oh, God, not now. Please, not now. Please¡­

    A hand touched my shoulder. ¡°Sweetie, are you-¡±

    I gasped, jumping. My gaze met the teacher¡¯s. She was looking at me with concern. Her eyes widened and she reared back. Panting, I gathered my bearings, noticing the whole class staring at me.

    This did not help.

    ¡°Diana, you okay?¡± Tony approached me, his brows furrowed. He was the only one that didn¡¯t stare. The girl beside him looked confused, lacking that ¡®look¡¯ in her eyes.

    I shook my head, gulping. My mouth was completely dry.

    ¡°Do you need to go to the nurse?¡±

    I glanced at the teacher, whose mouth was hanging open. I shook my head again, unable to speak.

    Tony looked at her. ¡°Mrs. Howard?¡±

    She blinked, regaining her composure. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡­ are you alright, sweetie? What¡¯s your name?¡±

    I glanced at everyone else nervously, choking out a response. ¡°D-Diana. Watson.¡±

    ¡°Diana¡­¡± She nodded. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t¡­ are you alright?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ yeah.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Tony asked.

    ¡°Yeah. Yeah. I¡¯m fine.¡± I looked down, unable to bear the weight of everyone¡¯s gazes on me. I stared at my hands clenched together.

    ¡°A-alright, everyone. Time¡¯s up!¡± Mrs. Howard clapped her hands. ¡°Let¡¯s all take our seats again. Return the desks to where they were, please.¡±

    I blocked out the sounds of chairs and tables scraping together, concentrating on my hands. I could sense Tony next to me. ¡°You sure you¡¯re good? You¡¯re all pale.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I nodded hastily, trying a smile. I shakily stood and tried moving the desk, but all the strength had left my limbs. They felt like jelly.

    ¡°I can move this. Just¡­ sit down.¡± Tony gently nudged me to sit again as he dragged the desk away.

    That was the perfect way to start off the first day.

    I shouldn¡¯t have come. I shouldn¡¯t have done this. But I wouldn¡¯t dare prove the boys right.

 7~ Small World

    The cafeteria was packed to the brim with students. Many of them crowded in the lunch line while others filled the numerous tables, their chatter echoing throughout the room.

    I clutched my paper bag in my hands. For the rest of the day, I¡¯d kept to myself. I didn¡¯t look at anybody, I didn¡¯t talk to anybody, I didn¡¯t try to make friends. And during the little ¡®icebreakers¡¯ my other teachers had, I stayed as hidden as possible.

    Against my efforts, people still stared and whispered about me. They steered clear of me and ignored me. It was like I was a plague.

    And it was happening again, in the scariest part of the school day. As I passed table after table, I noticed the surrounding students glance at me and whisper to their friends. Heads turned to look, like a wave following me.

    I kept my gaze on my feet. I couldn¡¯t act up again. All I wanted was to find somewhere to sit and eat alone.

    I finally found an empty table near the corner of the cafeteria. Sighing, I took out my sandwich and water. Maybe I would go online. Maybe I could shut myself away from the world.

    Why did I even care about the brothers¡¯ opinions of me? Since when did I care about what the families thought of me? All I wanted was to not get beat up every day.

    A shadow came over me and I looked up. A girl with chocolate brown hair tied in a French braid stood in front of me with her tray, smiling behind pink-rimmed glasses. ¡°Hi there,¡± she said.

    ¡°Uh¡­ hi.¡± I cleared my throat, my voice coming out squeaky. ¡°Hi,¡± I said clearly.

    ¡°Is it alright if we sit here? My friend and I can¡¯t find a table.¡± She jerked her head towards a girl behind her. The girl smiled and waved, also carrying a tray.

    ¡°Oh, uh¡­ s-sure.¡± I motioned to the empty benches curving around the circular table. What else could I say, anyway?

    ¡°Thanks!¡± She waved to her friend and sat down. I returned to my lunch. Did these girls want to just sit here, or¡­?

    ¡°So, um¡­¡± The brunette chuckled awkwardly, nudging her glasses up her nose. ¡°I think we¡¯ve met before.¡±

    I blinked. ¡°We have?¡±

    ¡°Are you Diana Watson?¡±

    I blinked again, surprised. ¡°Um¡­ yeah. How did you know?¡±

    She brightened, her cheeks turning rosy with joy. ¡°I knew it! I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll remember me, though¡­ it¡¯s been, like, 12 years.¡± She stuck out her hand. ¡°I¡¯m Thelma Williams.¡±

    Thelma¡­ it sounded familiar.

    ¡°Thelma? From¡­ Preschool?¡± A smile twitched on my lips.

    She nodded excitedly. ¡°Yes! You remember?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I nodded, looking at her with awe. ¡°It¡¯s a small world.¡± I couldn¡¯t believe I even remembered her.

    She glanced at the other girl. ¡°This is my new friend, Kate. She¡¯s in my Spanish class. Kate, I went to preschool with Diana.¡±

    Kate shook my hand with a bright smile. ¡°That¡¯s c-cool.¡± She was a tall girl with dark brown skin and long, beautiful black hair that shone under the light.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe we found each other after so long! What are the odds?¡± Thelma twirled her school spaghetti around her fork.

    ¡°How did you recognize me after all this time?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Well, I have, like, a¡­ photographic memory.¡± She tapped her head. ¡°So I¡¯m good at remembering a lot of stuff. I recognized the shape of your eyes, your jaw, the color of your hair.¡± She took a bite of her spaghetti. ¡°My parents-¡± She stopped. ¡°Excuse me.¡±

    She raised her napkin to her mouth and leaned to the side, spitting out the spaghetti. She placed the napkin on the tray and continued. ¡°Anyways, my parents had me advance a couple grades, but I was pretty lonely because I didn¡¯t fit in with the older kids. So they let me be with people my age. But I¡¯m gonna take a lot of AP¡¯s, IB¡¯s, Honors¡­ not to brag, though, sorry.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not.¡± I smiled at her. ¡°That¡¯s really impressive.¡±

    She pushed her lunch tray away. ¡°I remember the last time we saw each other. Remember when Celeste Zucker let you borrow her spring toy, and she didn¡¯t let me because I was still three? She said it was only for four-year olds.¡±

    I smiled as the memory vaguely blinked in my mind. ¡°I¡­ I think so¡­ yeah. I gave it to you when she wasn¡¯t looking.¡± I chuckled nostalgically and bit into my sandwich.

    ¡°Then, after that, you¡­ left.¡± She stopped, turning red. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to pry or-¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    There was a pause.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± I smiled at Kate. ¡°So¡­ Kate?¡±

    She nodded as she bit into her hamburger. ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± She stopped, her face contorting in disgust, and sputtered the meat onto her napkin. She quickly gulped down her juice box.

    I winced. ¡°I¡¯m guessing school food isn¡¯t that good?¡± I asked as I ate my own lunch. I mentally thanked Davis for packing it.

    ¡°It¡¯s terrible,¡± said Thelma.

    Kate pushed her tray away, calling the food a name under her breath. ¡°So you know Th-Thelma? That¡¯s p-pretty awesome. Why has it been so l-long?¡±

    ¡°I, uh¡­ moved,¡± I said, taking a mental note of Kate¡¯s stutter. I was initially worried that she¡¯d heard people talk about me and got nervous.

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

    ¡°Her parents-¡± Thelma stopped. ¡°Ugh. Again. I¡¯m sorry, Diana.¡±

    Well, people would find out soon enough, anyway. Thelma knew what really happened, so¡­

    ¡°It¡¯s fine, Thelma. Um¡­ my parents died in an accident that last day, so I had to go with my uncle and aunt. But¡­ they were horrible, so I became a foster kid, and¡­ yeah.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a f-foster kid?¡± Kate asked curiously.

    I nodded. ¡°I¡¯m staying with a family here.¡±

    ¡°Which family?¡± Thelma asked.

    ¡°Uh¡­ the¡­ Fields.¡±

    ¡°Oh. I don¡¯t know them. But that¡¯s interesting.¡±

    ¡°My mom actually h-helps foster kids. She d-donates to charities and s-stuff,¡± Kate commented.

    ¡°That¡¯s nice.¡±

    ¡°So that means we can be besties again!¡± Thelma stretched out her hand and wiggled her fingers.

    My eyes widened as a memory slammed into my mind¡¯s eye. I gasped in delight and chuckled.

    I wiggled my fingers against hers before interlocking them together. The handshake was a little clumsy, since I didn¡¯t remember it all, but we managed to finish it. We clasped our hands together and shouted, ¡°Bestest friends!¡±, throwing them in the air.

    Maybe I could give school one more day¡­ If I wanted to find out what was actually going on, it was my best bet.

    ~~~

    Harry

    I¡¯ve never dreaded school as much as I have now.

    Even worse, it turned out exactly like I expected. After third period, everywhere I looked, people were whispering and looking at me. I ignored it as best I could, but it was weighing down on me.

    I found myself hiding in the library during lunch period. I couldn¡¯t face the other juniors like this. My friends, guys from the team, anyone I knew would be asking me what was going on, and I did not want to talk about it. I had to silence my phone after so many messages flooded in.

    The teachers were torturing me with these stupid icebreakers. Almost all my classes had one. People kept asking and joking about Diana and Amy. It was all I could do to not start a fight.

    My ASL teacher signed, ¡®Switch¡¯, prompting the class to move to a different person to talk to. Thankfully, it was a small class. I sat with a redheaded girl next, waving, ¡®Hello¡¯. It was the quietest icebreaker I¡¯d done so far.

    The teacher signed ¡®Start¡¯, resetting the timer.

    ¡°Hi, my name is E-M-I-L-Y, what¡¯s your name?¡± the girl signed.

    ¡°H-A-R-R-Y,¡± I spelled.

    ¡°Nice to meet you. I¡¯m new here.¡±

    That was a relief. Hopefully she wouldn¡¯t have heard too much about my family yet.

    ¡°Welcome to S-U-M-M-I-T.¡± I subtly glanced at the clock behind her. It was 12:10¡ª after this girl, class would be over. I was desperate for the day to end.

    Maybe I could go online instead¡­ never mind. I needed football, so I¡¯d be here anyway.

    I felt like Job. One bad thing after another. My sister got sick, then she passed, then my parents wanted to foster a strange kid, then we got Diana, now she was here¡­

    She would definitely find out the truth. I wasn¡¯t sure what to do. It was hard to tell her that she was being used by grieving parents. Just thinking about it made me feel so disgusted and ashamed. I didn¡¯t understand why all this had to happen.

    Maybe we were that mean to Amy. When we were little, we got along great, but as we got older, we fought more and more. It started to get more unhealthy, less like regular sibling rivalry and more like a divided family. Us against her.

    She told us she didn¡¯t want to be with us¡­

    Emily signed the members of her family; her mom and her cat, Buckles. She then asked who my family was.

    The bell rang, saving me. The teacher signed ¡®Finish¡¯, then wrote, ¡®Continue Thursday. Happy first day, everyone!¡¯

    ¡°Too bad,¡± Emily said aloud. ¡°It was nice meeting you, Harry.¡±

    ¡°You, too.¡± I grabbed my bag and headed out before she could follow up on her question.

    Next class was Psychology, normally my favorite. It was the career I wanted to follow. I wasn¡¯t sure about going to Greenfield, but my ¡®dream school¡¯ was out of state and expensive. Maybe Waterford would have a good program¡­

    An arm suddenly weighed down on my shoulders, startling me, and a familiar face smiled next to me. I groaned and shrugged him off. ¡°What do you want, Lucas?¡±

    ¡°Nice to see you, too.¡±

    ¡°Whatever.¡±

    He put his arm around me again. ¡°How was your summer?¡±

    I glared at him.

    ¡°What? I¡¯m just asking.¡±

    ¡°How do you think it went, you idiot?¡± I pushed him away again.

    ¡°Oh¡­ yeah. Sorry.¡± He shrugged. ¡°Anyway¡­ did you hear about this new girl?¡±

    ¡°What new girl?¡±

    ¡°Someone¡­¡± He pulled out his phone and opened a picture. ¡°That looks pretty familiar.¡± He showed me. It was a sneak picture of Diana in the hallway.

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Oh? So, who is she?¡±

    ¡°How should I know?¡± I tried to act clueless.

    ¡°Linda told me she saw you get on the bus with her.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s¡­ some girl.¡±

    ¡°So you don¡¯t know her?¡±

    What would I do? They saw us walking to the stop with her, and they¡¯d see us going home with her. She probably already told others she was with us, anyway.

    ¡°And Sam told me your parents were going to get a foster kid,¡± Lucas added.

    ¡°He told you that?¡±

    ¡°Was it a secret?¡±

    ¡°¡­ No, but-¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Lucas chuckled, patting my shoulder. ¡°We¡¯re making the connections here. I feel like a detective.¡±

    I muttered an insulting name under my breath and walked faster, approaching my classroom. ¡°Look, I don¡¯t want to talk about this right now.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll have to, eventually.¡± Lucas laughed as he turned away. I sighed and went into my class, slumping into a desk.

    Looking up, I saw a girl staring at me, standing right next to me. ¡°Um¡­ hi?¡±

    ¡°Excuse me.¡± She went to the desk behind me.

    Realizing I¡¯d blocked her, I quickly turned. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t see you, I swear.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good.¡±

    She looked familiar¡­ where did I see her?

    ¡°Good morning.¡± Our teacher entered. Everyone sat down. He wrote his name on the whiteboard and smiled at us. ¡°Hello, everyone. For those of you that don¡¯t know me, I¡¯m Professor Gus.¡± He pointed at his name. ¡°Those that took Psychology 1 or 2 last year might remember me.¡±

    He wrote ¡®Discussion¡¯ below his name. ¡°Now, since it¡¯s the first day, all we¡¯re going to do is have a little Discussion round so you can all get to know each other and reconnect with your old classmates. Every day, we¡¯re going to have a 10-minute discussion round. After that, we¡¯ll proceed with the class. So¡­ two groups of¡­¡± He counted us. ¡°One group of 7 and one of 6. I¡¯ll join the smaller group.¡±

    Everyone moved their desks into two circles. The familiar girl sat next to me. One of the seniors in my group started the conversation. ¡°Okay. Hey, guys. Um¡­ so I guess we¡¯ll just say stuff about ourselves. I¡¯m Grant Peterson, I¡¯m a senior, and I¡¯m going to Barlow U next year.¡± He motioned for the girl next to him to continue. The introductions soon reached me.

    I shifted in my seat. ¡°I¡¯m Harry Field, I¡¯m a junior. Um¡­ I¡¯m 17. And I like to play drums and football.¡± I looked at the girl.

    ¡°I¡¯m Mildred Dawson. I¡¯m a junior, too. I¡¯m 17. And¡­ I like hip-hop¡­ and I used to go to Lawson High, but it¡¯s the worst. So I¡¯m here now.¡±

    ¡°I think we can all agree that Lawson¡¯s the worst,¡± Grant chuckled. ¡°We get new people from there all the time.¡±

    Mom wanted to send Diana there¡­ if it was that bad, where would she be better off? Maybe she could go to a different district? She would take a different bus and all.

    I didn¡¯t want Diana to suffer. I didn¡¯t¡­ hate her. I was mostly mad at my parents. We all were. But they wanted us all to ¡®get along¡¯, like we could just go back to normal. It wasn¡¯t fair. Amy wasn¡¯t a lost book or phone that could be replaced. Or a dead pet that could be replaced with a different one. She was a person. She was my baby sister.

    When the period ended, everyone returned their desks to the way they were and left. I dropped my phone as I put on my bag. Mildred picked it up and gave it to me.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± I took the phone.

    ¡°You know, you looked familiar¡­ are you on my bus, by any chance?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I¡­ might be. I take the bus. I thought I saw you before.¡±

    ¡°Nice to meet you.¡± She flashed a smile.

    ¡°You too.¡± We started towards the door. ¡°Hey, about Lawson¡­ is it really that bad?¡±

    She only nodded and laughed.

    ¡°How so?¡± I asked.

    ¡°The teachers are jerks, the people are worse. I can¡¯t believe you haven¡¯t heard of it. People send their ¡®problematic kids¡¯ to that school. I went there because it was closer and I could walk, but in the end, I was begging my parents to transfer me. I don¡¯t have any friends to miss.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s crazy.¡± So, not a good place for Diana.

    ¡°Hopefully this school¡¯s better?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not Lawson.¡± I chuckled.

    She giggled, her smile flashing again. She was really cute.

 8~ Eye for an Eye

    Diana

    The hallways were crowded beyond belief when school was over. I squeezed my way through the numerous students, constantly repeating ¡®excuse me¡¯.

    I was desperate to leave. The rest of the day wound up the same, and I had another panic attack in Geometry. Not even my Literature class was enough to keep me optimistic.

    But I didn¡¯t want to leave until I knew the reason behind the gossip.

    In elementary school, I was basically singled out because I was ¡®weird¡¯. The other kids didn¡¯t understand why I was so quiet, or why I had dirty clothes on all the time, or why I did so bad in class. I couldn¡¯t control my ¡®moments¡¯ as well as I could now. And my control now was still very slippery, let alone back then.

    But I could act normal. I came in ¡®normal¡¯. I slapped a smile on my face and tried to be polite. That still didn¡¯t stop the gossip. And the only reason I even had panic attacks today was because of all the looks. I didn¡¯t like having so many eyes on me.

    There was a reason. And the boys knew for sure. Not everyone looked at me that way. Mildred, Tony, Thelma, Kate¡­ they treated me like a normal person. And all of them had one thing in common: they were new students.

    As I neared the main entrance, my foot was suddenly caught on someone¡¯s ankle, sending me flying forward. I grunted as I hit the tile floor with my legs thrown up in the air. Some of the people around me stopped to look. A few giggled while others seemed hesitant on whether to help me or not.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry! I didn¡¯t see you,¡± someone said.

    ¡°You¡¯re good.¡± I took the offered hand and stood, looking up. My eyes met hazel.

    He went pallid as he stared at me, his hand slackening. He let go of my fingers and stared at me with bewilderment, as if I¡¯d grown two heads.

    I sighed in annoyance. ¡°Is there something wrong with my face?¡± I snapped.

    He blinked. ¡°Um¡­¡± He shook his head. ¡°No. No, I¡¯m sorry. You¡¯re, uh¡­ sorry.¡± He adjusted his backpack on his shoulder. ¡°Sorry for tripping you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s fine.¡± I crossed my arms, looking away.

    He half-smiled and turned to leave.

    ¡°Wait.¡±

    He stopped, keeping his eyes averted.

    ¡°Why did you look at me like that?¡± I demanded.

    ¡°Like what?¡±

    ¡°Like¡­ that.¡± I waggled my finger towards his face. ¡°Like this.¡± I imitated his expression. ¡°Why?¡±

    He stiffened, swallowing. I walked around him so I could be facing him, but he kept his eyes on his shoes.

    ¡°It¡¯s not my place to say,¡± he finally said. He headed out. I stared after him in confusion.

    Not his place to say? What did that mean?

    I trudged up the steps to my bus and looked for my seat. A bit of relief flooded me when I saw Mildred waiting. ¡°Hi.¡± I sat down.

    She glanced at me and half-smiled. ¡°Hey.¡± She took off her earbuds. ¡°How was your first day?¡±

    I hesitated, noticing her sudden demeanor, but answered her anyway. ¡°It was¡­ it was pretty good,¡± I said. ¡°At lunch, I found my old friend from preschool.¡±

    ¡°Really? Small world.¡±

    Tommy and Harry got on the bus. Harry smiled and waved to me as he passed by. Confused, I blinked, unsure how to respond. He seemed a bit disappointed and went to sit down.

    ¡°He¡¯s waving to me,¡± Mildred said. ¡°He¡¯s in my class.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± I felt a bit embarrassed. ¡°But¡­ you didn¡¯t wave back.¡±

    She shifted. ¡°I wasn¡¯t¡­ paying attention.¡±

    The bus jerked as it pulled out, slowly turning to exit the school. I leaned over to see out the window, watching as the large building moved out of sight. I remembered thinking when I was little that the world moved for us when we got in cars or buses. I chuckled to myself. I was so innocent back then.

    I missed it.

    I then focused on Mildred, who fidgeted, playing with her earbud cords. Her foot tapped as she whistled, looking out the window.

    I narrowed my eyes. ¡°What is it?¡± I asked. ¡°You seem¡­ weird.¡±

    She sighed, looking at me. ¡°Listen, Diana¡­ I heard some¡­ things about you.¡±

    ¡°Things? What things?¡±

    ¡°Well, I found out you¡¯re a foster kid, for one. And in my last class, they told me that you¡¯re with those guys in the back.¡± She nodded towards Tommy and Harry, who were on their phones.

    I bit my lip. I knew she¡¯d probably hear about it, but¡­ ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I-¡±

    ¡°Hey, no, don¡¯t apologize. I¡¯m not mad or anything. And it wasn¡¯t like that was any of my business.¡± She shifted in her seat. ¡°But¡­ that¡¯s not all I heard about you.¡±

    I frowned. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± She nervously rubbed her nape, squirming. ¡°I know why people are talking about you so much. Like, literally the entire school is talking about you.¡±

    I glanced at the brothers again. ¡°C-could you tell me?¡±

    She blinked. ¡°You¡­ you don¡¯t know?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t know what? Mildred, please, I want to know. People have been staring at me all day, and no one says why.¡±

    ¡°You¡­ don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t know what?!¡±

    Some of the others glanced at me with disdain. I shrunk into my seat and lowered my voice. ¡°Mildred, what did you hear about me?¡±

    She gazed at me, looking at my foster brothers. They were now glancing at us as they spoke to each other. The people behind them were also in the conversation, their eyes on me.

    ¡°Well¡­ it¡¯s pretty big. Like¡­ really big,¡± she started. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you can even¡­ handle it.¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡±

    The bus shook as we went over a speed bump, causing my backpack to roll off the seat next to me. It stopped in the middle of the aisle. As I reached over to pick it up, something hard hit the back of my head.

    ¡°Ow!¡± My hand raised up to rub the hurt spot. I looked at the floor, where an orange was rolling around with the movement of the bus. Laughter erupted from the back.

    I whipped my head around, glaring at the backseat. A girl shook her head. ¡°Hey, that wasn¡¯t us!¡± She jerked her thumb to Tommy and Harry, who were suppressing their own laughs.

    Picking up the orange, I stormed over to them. My eyes moved to Harry¡¯s lap, noticing his lunch bag. My fury grew and I shoved the orange into his chest, making him grunt in surprise. ¡°Is this yours?¡±

    The other idiots laughed harder, hard enough that one of the boys fell off his seat. The rest of the bus stared at them, clearly unamused.

    ¡°Alright, here.¡± A burly-looking guy reached over with a 10-dollar bill, handing it to Harry. I glared at them with indignation. ¡°A bet?¡± I scoffed.

    Harry shrugged. ¡°I have pretty good aim.¡±

    I grunted again when a banana hit the side of my head. The boisterous group howled and guffawed. I really wanted to punch someone, but I promised myself no fights. They were really pushing it, though.

    I contented myself by throwing the banana back. They dove to the side, exclaiming in surprise. ¡°Whoo, she¡¯s got some fight in her!¡±

    The bus jerked forward when it stopped. I grabbed onto another seat as I stumbled. ¡°That¡¯s it.¡± The bus driver turned in his seat and pointed at me. ¡°You. Off the bus.¡±

    I felt the color drain out of my face. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re causing riots back there. Off the bus.¡±

    ¡°B-but¡­ I¡­¡± This couldn¡¯t be happening.

    ¡°But she didn¡¯t do anything!¡± Mildred protested.

    ¡°Look, I gotta keep my eyes on the road for you kids. I don¡¯t have time to break up fights. You can get on the bus tomorrow, but you¡¯re off today. Walk home.¡± He gestured to the door, which he opened.

    I looked around at the other students, who stared at me. I fixed my gaze on the brothers. They shrugged innocently. They were going to make me go alone?

    ¡°If I¡¯m getting off, then they have to get off, too,¡± I said, pointing at them. ¡°I live with them.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t count,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°I live with you.¡±

    ¡°Just get off the bus.¡±

    I continued staring at them with anger, but they didn¡¯t budge. ¡°W-well¡­ at least tell me where to go. I don¡¯t know this neighborhood.¡±

    Tommy rolled his eyes. ¡°You keep going down here on Durell Road. You turn right on Calloway Boulevard, then left on Cedarwood Avenue.¡±

    ¡°Off the bus already. Watson, isn¡¯t it?¡± the driver said.

    Casting one, last, savage glare at the boys, I walked down the aisle, my face burning with humiliation. Mildred gazed at me apologetically while I grabbed my backpack, her mouth flapping as she tried to say something to defend me.

    I stepped off the bus onto the sidewalk and watched as it closed its doors and took off.

    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Tomorrow, they were going to pay. I would make sure of it.

    ~~~

    I didn¡¯t say anything to their parents when they asked me about the incident. I told them some other kid provoked me and that I lost my temper. If I didn¡¯t get them in trouble, I could catch them off guard.

    When I got home yesterday after the long walk, I executed the first step of my plan; finding something to get them back with. I thought about involving Kyle and Jack, but I decided not to. It was easier to keep it between the three of us.

    While they were playing PS5 in the den, I went to Tommy and Harry¡¯s room to look for anything I could use. ¡°Something¡­ anything¡­¡± I opened all the drawers, searching through them. ¡°Incriminating¡­¡± I tried Tommy¡¯s desk drawers; those were off-limits when I cleaned.

    In a notebook, I found a torn slip of paper that said: Computer password: july13th2007

    My birthday?

    That was¡­ kinda weird. Maybe it was also an important date for him.

    I entered the password, successfully logging into his computer. I went online and clicked on a direct link to FamiliarFaces, where he was already logged in.

    Hmm¡­ what could I post?

    There were thousands of unread messages from different chats. At the top was a group chat, and inside, the members shared tons of¡­ suspicious links. I clicked on one of them.

    ¡°Whoa¡­ look what we have here. Tsk, tsk, tsk¡­ Tommy Field, what do we do with you?¡± Who knew he was such a perv? I felt mildly bad for his girlfriend, despite her being an annoying, toxic brat.

    With a grin, I took screenshots of the chats and pages and posted them on his wall and 24-hour stories, also taking the liberty of tagging a few people, including TommyFieldsBaby¡ª his girlfriend¡¯s username. It was 8 in the evening, so it would last all day tomorrow.

    I glanced at Harry¡¯s computer. Hmm¡­

    I checked his drawers for his password. I soon found it buried under a bunch of old notebooks in the bottom drawer. May62023

    These guys couldn¡¯t come up with more secure passwords? A kindergartner could get into their computer.

    Once I sent the pictures into Harry¡¯s chat, I downloaded them and posted them with a cute little caption: Thank you @tomarthurfield for the links (wink face) (thirsty face)

    I pressed ¡®Enter¡¯ with a satisfying click on the keyboard and hurried out.

    ~~~

    Tommy

    I got out of the shower and headed to my bedroom to change, rubbing a towel over my hair. My phone buzzed relentlessly on my bed with messages.

    I decided to ignore them. All I¡¯d been getting since yesterday were disgusting jokes and memes about Diana and Amy. And when Harry accidentally opened his big mouth and told Lucas, everything escalated.

    Why was he always such a blabbermouth? He used to call me the tattletale.

    I ran downstairs once I was ready. Harry came after me, yawning tiredly, his mouth stretched wide open. With a smile, I stuck my elbow inside. He stopped yawning and his eyes popped open.

    ¡°Tommy!¡± He tried to punch me as I laughed.

    Diana came down, a strange smile on her face. After yesterday, I thought she¡¯d be beyond angry. She didn¡¯t even tell our parents what happened, which I found pretty weird. Wouldn¡¯t she want us to get grounded or something?

    ¡°See you, Mom!¡± I went to the door.

    ¡°Bye, Dad!¡± Harry yelled.

    ¡°Be careful!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t get thrown off!¡±

    ¡°We won¡¯t,¡± Harry snickered, making me laugh.

    We didn¡¯t expect the driver to literally kick Diana off the bus. All we did was toss her an orange. But if we didn¡¯t do something, that girl would¡¯ve told her everything, and the whole bus would be there for it. We didn¡¯t mean for it to go that far.

    But we were definitely not getting off with her, especially in front of everyone.

    One look at her on the first day of school was enough to spread so many rumors. All in one day. This was exactly why we didn¡¯t want her here.

    Hopefully, if we kept pushing her around, she¡¯d decide to leave. I¡¯d been counting on her quitting on the first day, but she was a lot more resilient than we thought.

    We got on the bus and ignored the whispers and giggles, slumping in our seats. It was best not to feed it. In school, I received the same looks. Yesterday, people had looked at me with shock, confusion, mischief, and pity. Today, it was all sort of¡­ weird smiles and giggles.

    Everything was a joke now. The ultimate gossip of the year.

    Entering my Honors Art History class, I put down my bag, sitting in the desk I chose yesterday. My phone continued buzzing in my pocket.

    I sighed. I¡¯d have to face it sooner or later.

    Reluctantly, I pulled it out and went into the FamiliarFaces app. My notifications were flooded and my inbox was overflowing. Bruh, did they have to be so obsessed with this?

    Shirley Heffer reacted to your story.

    Jason Diver commented on your post.

    Lucas Flynn commented on your post.

    I frowned. I hadn¡¯t posted in a while.

    When I clicked on the post, I received the shock of my life. I could feel the color draining from my face.

    What. The. F¡ª

    ¡°Hey, Field,¡± someone whispered behind me. I turned, meeting eyes filled with laughter. ¡°Could you send me those pictures later?¡± he said. ¡°Where¡¯d you get stuff that good?¡±

    I huffed and ignored him, returning to the post. Endless comments were posted below, from my family, friends¡­

    Oh, God. Shirley.

    Jason Diver: I want someee

    Lucas Flynn: (laughing emoji) I wonder what @amythearchitect would say about this¡­ maybe ask her copy lol

    Sonya Wellingsly: Tommy¡­ if u need to talk, u can just text me. Dont go down this path pls¡­ tell me u got hacked or something

    Kurt Wellingsly: Tommy WTH??? I dont want to judge u but did u have to post it?

    Amelia Weber: People, its obvious he got hacked. Relax. @tomarthurfield pls see this and report it

    I looked through the list. I soon found a post from Harry, which I was tagged in. Dread filled me when I saw similar screenshots on his wall, as well, with a caption thanking me for ¡®sending him the link¡¯. I¡¯d never let him see this! He¡¯d blab it all over the place!

    I quickly went to my messages. Lots of my family members were asking me if I was hacked, while others were begging me to stop the habit. Guys from the football team, Shirley¡¯s friends, everyone was going crazy.

    And Shirley¡­

    She sent a long voice message, but I couldn¡¯t play it here. Maybe I had some earbuds in my backpack¡­

    I bent down, leaving my phone on my desk, and looked for them. I finally found them buried under my books and pulled them out. When I reached for my phone, it was gone.

    ¡°Tommy, how could you do this to me?!¡±

    I whirled around, finding the guy behind me holding my phone. He held it up as Shirley¡¯s message played at full volume. ¡°I knew you didn¡¯t want me! I knew there was something wrong when I asked you¡­¡±

    I was frozen. I couldn¡¯t move. I wanted to snatch the phone away, to punch the guy in the face, to do something. But I couldn¡¯t.

    Everyone in the classroom murmured and reacted quietly as they listened to Shirley¡¯s sobbing rant, her tone seeping with desolation and anger. I soon managed to unlock my limbs and reach for the phone, but the guy stood from his desk and backed away.

    ¡°Give me my phone!¡± I went after him and grabbed him by the shirt. After a bit of struggle, I finally grabbed it, but the message filled with screams and curses was only a few seconds shy of being done.

    I looked around at my staring classmates and stopped the message. Quietly, I moved to my seat and put away my earbuds, stuffing my phone in my pocket. My entire body shivered with goosebumps, despite my temperature rising to the point that my skin burned.

    The silence was broken by the final bell. Everyone got into their seats and waited for the teacher. All the while, they glanced at me, whispers and murmurs echoing through the room.

    The teacher came in a couple of minutes later, oblivious to the class atmosphere. ¡°Good morning, everyone.¡± We listened to morning announcements and said the Pledge before she started the class. ¡°Everyone take out their books and turn to page 10.¡±

    I slowly reached into my backpack and pulled out my textbook. I blankly watched the teacher as she narrated instructions.

    What just happened to my life?

    Was it Kyle? No¡­ he didn¡¯t know my password. Neither did Jack. And Harry wouldn¡¯t have doomed himself like that¡­ none of the guys would do something like this.

    How would Diana do this? She never touched my desk drawers. I always told her they were off-limits.

    Unless she did¡­

    I kept my phone under my desk as I glanced between it and the teacher, opening the story posted on my profile. It was posted at 8:13 PM. What was I doing¡­? I was playing PS5 with the guys, right? She could¡¯ve done something.

    I put away my phone, clenching my jaw. This girl wasn¡¯t going to quit school. She was going to make our lives more and more miserable the longer she was with us.

    We needed to make her leave. But would everything we did come with revenge? Would she just pay us back and continue coming to school?

    We were trapped.

    ~~~

    Diana

    I decided to sit with Thelma and Kate again. This time, the girls brought their own lunches while I had a tray, having decided to try it out of curiosity.

    ¡°So you did it? They¡¯re not actually into that stuff?¡± Thelma laughed.

    ¡°Well, Harry isn¡¯t. I got those pictures from Tommy.¡± I took a bite out of my school hamburger. The minute it touched my tongue, nausea hit my stomach and I spit the whole thing out. The two girls laughed loudly, annoying the students sitting near us.

    ¡°This is disgusting!¡± I exclaimed.

    ¡°Told ya!¡± Kate laughed.

    ¡°I should¡¯ve listened.¡± I pulled my paper bag out of my backpack, pushing the lunch tray away.

    ¡°Anyways¡­ how did Tommy¡¯s girlfriend react?¡± Thelma asked.

    ¡°I th-thought Harry had the g-girlfriend.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s Tommy. Harry¡¯s the ¡®single pringle¡¯.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± I laughed. ¡°And I haven¡¯t seen her reaction. Probably hilarious. Honestly, I¡¯m doing the guy a favor. She¡¯s toxic.¡±

    ¡°That was so¡­ I don¡¯t know. Daring. You really know how to stand up for yourself.¡±

    ¡°You mess with me, I¡¯ll mess with you more.¡±

    ¡°R-remind me not to get on y-your bad s-side.¡±

    The rest of the day went on normally. People stared at me a bit less, but there were still plenty of students that gave me the same looks as yesterday. I kept my gaze forward, ignoring them all.

    At the end of the day, I went to my locker and switched out my books to get rid of any extra weight. I turned around and instinctively leaned back, bumping into the lockers, when the two Field brothers appeared in front of me.

    ¡°Oh. Hi.¡±

    ¡°Hi,¡± Tommy said coldly.

    ¡°How was your second day?¡± Harry asked.

    I quirked a brow, feigning confusion. ¡°Fine?¡±

    ¡°You hear any new gossip with your friends?¡± Tommy asked.

    I shrugged. ¡°I dunno.¡±

    ¡°Let me be more specific. Did you hear anything about us?¡±

    ¡°About you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Tommy continued. ¡°Rumors say Harry and I posted some¡­ inappropriate pictures on our FamiliarFaces page. But funnily enough, I haven¡¯t posted anything since last month.¡±

    ¡°Me neither.¡± Harry shrugged.

    ¡°Maybe you were hacked.¡±

    ¡°Maybe.¡± Tommy leaned on the locker next to me. ¡°Or¡­ a little rat snuck into our room and tweaked a few things on my computer.¡±

    ¡°How do you know?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s pretty obvious. Unless, of course, both our accounts happened to get hacked at exactly the same time, on the same day, after you got thrown off the bus.¡±

    I continued my innocent fa?ade. ¡°Okay. Maybe it was Kyle. Or Jack.¡±

    ¡°They torture us, sure, but they would never do anything like that.¡±

    ¡°The point is, we know you did it, okay?¡± Harry snapped.

    I grinned. ¡°Impressive, Holmes and Watson.¡± I held up my hands. ¡°Okay, I did it. So what?¡±

    ¡°So what? So everything!¡± Tommy yelled, catching some students¡¯ attention. Harry noticed and nudged him.

    They looked around restlessly and headed to an open classroom across the hall. Tommy took me by the shoulder and pulled me along, preventing me from escaping. Despite his lanky frame, he was still stronger than me.

    Harry closed the door behind us and Tommy continued his rant. ¡°Shirley broke up with me, everyone¡¯s talking about us, our family saw it¡­ you¡¯ve literally ruined everything.¡±

    ¡°Oh, get in line. If you didn¡¯t want something like this to happen, you shouldn¡¯t have humiliated me on the bus.¡±

    ¡°Boo-hoo! Diana got teased on the bus!¡± Harry mimicked. ¡°That¡¯s nothing compared to what you did to us!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not just because of that! All of you have treated me like trash since day one, and I¡¯ve had enough!¡± I retorted.

    ¡°I thought you were used to it,¡± Tommy said.

    My voice momentarily left me. ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it true?¡±

    Harry glanced between us. ¡°Tommy¡­¡±

    My rage reached new heights. It was so intense that I couldn¡¯t form any words. My hands shot out and shoved Tommy. He grunted, stepping back a few paces.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Harry began.

    ¡°So because I¡¯ve ¡®suffered worse¡¯, that gives you the right to treat me like this?! What kind of mentality are you guys¡­ my God!¡± I shoved him again.

    ¡°We have the right because you ruined our lives the minute our parents took you in!¡± Tommy approached me angrily. We were only inches away from each other, rage radiating off the both of us.

    ¡°Why? Why are your lives so ruined because of me?!¡±

    Harry closed his eyes, seemingly on the verge of bursting. ¡°BECAUSE YOU¡¯RE JUST LIKE-¡±

    Tommy elbowed him in the stomach, cutting him off. ¡°Look, we did what we did because you¡¯ve already screwed us up. If you mess with us, we mess with you more. That¡¯s the rule.¡±

    The rising tension frightened me, but my anger won over. ¡°I don¡¯t get what your problem is,¡± I continued. ¡°I know you don¡¯t want me with you, but I don¡¯t have a choice. I didn¡¯t ask to move in with you!¡±

    ¡°You could ask to move out, you know!¡±

    ¡°Why should I?¡±

    ¡°Tommy-¡±

    ¡°No, Harry.¡±

    ¡°No? No what? What do you want to say, Harry?¡± I looked at the younger brother.

    ¡°Nothing! He¡¯s not saying anything.¡± Tommy¡¯s eyes were on fire as he glared at him.

    ¡°Somebody will!¡±

    ¡°Harry, shut up.¡±

    ¡°Someone has to-¡±

    ¡°SHUT UP!¡± Tommy shoved him. Harry tripped over one of the desks and fell with a crash, his backpack slipping off his shoulder. My hands flew to my mouth.

    The loud volume and the sudden noise of Harry¡¯s fall kicked my heart up to 200 beats per minute. I backed away from Tommy, whose face immediately filled with regret. Harry stood, his face red. He silently picked the desk and his bag back up.

    ¡°Harry, I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry, I just-¡± He reached out. Harry pushed him away and yanked the classroom door open, storming away. ¡°Harry, wait! I¡¯m sorry!¡± Tommy moved to follow, then stopped. He sighed and leaned his forehead on the wall.

    He looked at me. I flinched away, bracing myself for a similar or worse blow. I found myself screaming tearfully, ¡°I¡¯m sorry! I¡¯m sorry I did all that, I¡¯m sorry, I promise I won¡¯t do it again, just please let me out!¡± I ran out of the classroom before he could say anything.

    I thought I was safer with this family¡­ maybe I was wrong.

 9~ What a Tangled Web

    09.07.23

    Dear Diary, I feel like I¡¯m getting closer to finding out the Fields¡¯ secret. I¡¯m 95% sure it has to do with me. I¡¯ll just have to endure going to school and hearing the gossip, because that¡¯ll give me the answer.

    I still have my doubts, though. Am I being self-centered? Or am I just paranoid? Is that another thing my therapist will diagnose me with? I¡¯ve never read my file, but I know for a fact that it¡¯s filled with ¡®issues¡¯ I have.

    It¡¯s just so weird. Susan¡¯s constantly complaining to her husband about the congregation at their church ¡®judging¡¯ them, the boys don¡¯t let Harry tell me whatever he wants to tell me, everyone at school and their mother have been talking about me the past two days, Tommy¡¯s arguing more with Shirley¡­ And it¡¯s like they¡¯re being extremely careful not to say anything around me. Like they¡¯re afraid I¡¯ll overhear something.

    Well, sooner or later, I¡¯ll find out. I couldn¡¯t get anything out of Mildred, unfortunately. Thelma says she doesn¡¯t get into gossip, but no doubt she¡¯s heard <u>something</u>. Tony said the same thing.

    If I can get Harry alone, maybe I can get something out of him. He¡¯s obviously dying to tell me whatever it is. Tommy¡¯s always calling him a blabbermouth.

    I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Pausing from my writing, I looked down the hall to see who it was.

    Harry seemed tense as he stormed to his bedroom and slammed the door. Speak of the devil. Was he alone? Where were the others?

    I bit my lip. Now was my chance.

    I put down my pen and turned off my lamp, quietly walking over to his door. I just hoped Tommy wasn¡¯t in there. I knocked.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Diana.¡±

    ¡°Go away.¡±

    ¡°I just want to talk.¡±

    ¡°I said, go away.¡±

    I sighed. ¡°Harry, please. You know we need to talk about this.¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    I leaned on the door. As painful as it was to swallow my pride, I knew I had to do this. What I did was pretty scummy.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry for what I did. I¡­ I went too far.¡±

    He didn¡¯t respond.

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell everyone you got hacked. I¡¯ll admit I did it,¡± I insisted. ¡°And I know it won¡¯t do much, but it¡¯ll at least do something. I¡¯m sorry, Harry.¡±

    After a long pause, the doorknob rattled. I stepped back as he opened the door. His face was stone-cold, but his eyes were red and teary. ¡°What do you want?¡± he asked, venom ringing clear in his voice.

    ¡°I just want to talk,¡± I said.

    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to talk about.¡± He sniffled, rubbing his nose.

    ¡°You know there is. If Tommy¡¯s not here, this is the best time to talk about it. Please.¡± I hated sounding desperate, but I was desperate. He was my only hope for an answer.

    He massaged his forehead, his shoulders bunched up with tension. After a few moments, he blew out a huge sigh. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m doing this,¡± he muttered to himself. He jerked his head for me to come in. I eagerly obliged and he closed the door.

    Looking around, I noticed lots of laundry recklessly thrown around the room. My nose wrinkled. ¡°Didn¡¯t I just clean your room before school?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°Seriously. There¡¯s a hamper right here.¡± I picked up the dirty clothes and tossed them into the basket. Harry ignored me and stared blankly at his phone screen, lying on his bed.

    I sat on Tommy¡¯s bed and faced him. ¡°Okay. You wanted to tell me something at school.¡±

    He tensed up again, putting down his phone.

    ¡°It must be big if Tommy got so mad at you for saying it.¡±

    Silence. Frustration grew within me, but I kept my cool. ¡°Harry, I know you know. And you know that I know you know. And I know you know that I know you know.¡±

    He stared at me, confusion swimming in his eyes. ¡°I literally have no idea what you just said.¡±

    ¡°Could you please just¡­ tell me? Tell me why I get these looks. Tell me why people talk about me. I know it¡¯s more than me being a foster kid. No one cares about that.¡±

    ¡°Diana¡­ I don¡¯t know. I want to tell you, okay? But¡­¡± He stood, pacing. The tension thickened. ¡°It¡¯s not something I can just¡­ tell you. It¡¯s something very personal. I know it seems simple, but it¡¯s not. It¡¯s just not.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be asking if it didn¡¯t involve me.¡±

    ¡°How do you know it involves you?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ everyone is talking about me? Duh.¡±

    He looked away.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t tell me, someone else will. I¡¯m going to keep asking people at school, and one of them will have the guts to tell me outright.¡±

    Silent again. He knew it was true. He scratched his cheek. ¡°It¡¯s not easy to say,¡± he told me. ¡°It¡¯s like¡­¡± He paused and glanced down at my hands. I looked at him questioningly. He met my eyes again and shook his head. ¡°What I¡¯m trying to say is¡­ I can¡¯t just go and tell you, no matter how much I want to.¡±

    ¡°You almost did at school.¡±

    ¡°I was angry.¡±

    ¡°Well, get angry!¡± I snapped. ¡°I need to know, Harry!¡±

    The door opened, startling us. ¡°No, you don¡¯t.¡±

    Tommy came in with a cold glare directed at me. I only frowned at him, my anger reaching new heights.

    ¡°Harry, we¡¯re going to play PS5. Let¡¯s go,¡± he said.

    I stopped Harry before he could leave. ¡°You¡¯re not leaving until you tell me the truth.¡±

    ¡°Diana, I can¡¯t tell you.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you can!¡±

    ¡°No, he can¡¯t.¡± Kyle came in with Jack. Great. The cavalry.

    ¡°Harry.¡± I looked at him intensely. He was now sweating, his eyes darting around at everyone¡¯s faces.

    ¡°Ignore her, Harry,¡± said Jack. ¡°It¡¯s none of her business.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s all of my business!¡±

    ¡°Look, we¡¯ve had enough of you butting into our lives!¡± Jack approached me angrily. Intimidated, I reared back.

    ¡°Jack, cool it-¡± Kyle began.

    ¡°You¡¯ve already done enough. They don¡¯t owe you anything after what you did to them. So stay out of this.¡± He shoved my shoulder¡ª not too hard, but hard enough for me to know he meant business.

    This only stirred up my fury and I shoved him back with all my might. He stumbled backward, caught off guard. ¡°I¡¯ll find out. Whether from you, or someone else, or your parents, I¡¯ll find out!¡± I left before they could say anything back.

    ~~~

    I stood behind Tommy and Harry as we waited for the bus. I readily plugged my fingers in my ears when it approached and let out the sudden hiss. I was alright with the noise itself¡ª it was the intensity of it that would send my heart in a frenzy.

    We boarded with everyone else on our corner. Mildred brightened when she saw me, patting my seat eagerly. I managed a small smile and went to sit.

    She gave me a quick hug. ¡°Hey! How are you?¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°I wanted to text you, but I couldn¡¯t find you on Familiar. What¡¯s your username?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t have FamiliarFaces.¡±

    ¡°What? Why?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°I used to, but I didn¡¯t have any friends, so¡­ I just stuck to GoodNews.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I have GoodNews. Could you give me your number?¡±

    As we exchanged numbers, the bus went over a speed bump. My hand shot out and caught my backpack before it fell off.

    ¡°Nice reflexes,¡± Mildred chuckled.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± I moved my bag to the floor between my feet.

    ¡°You know, you should get Familiar. Almost everyone at school uses it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s exactly why I don¡¯t want it.¡±

    There was a moment of silence between us.

    ¡°Hey, Mildred¡­ we didn¡¯t finish talking yesterday,¡± I started.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°About all the¡­ rumors.¡±

    Her dark skin paled a shade lighter. She swallowed and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. ¡°Oh, that,¡± she said nervously. ¡°Um¡­ I thought we did.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°No, remember? Your mom kept texting you. It was really urgent.¡±

    ¡°Right. Heh.¡±

    ¡°So. I was asking you about what you heard about me.¡±

    She squirmed. ¡°Um¡­ well¡­ you know. That you¡¯re a foster kid. And you¡¯re with the Field brothers. Apparently they¡¯re big shots here.¡±

    ¡°Alright, that¡¯s it.¡± I faced her fully, my eyes hardening. ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear any more lies. I want the truth, Mildred. I¡¯ll keep asking everyone until someone with the guts to tell me says it. You heard stuff about me. And I know it¡¯s not all, ¡®Ooh, she¡¯s a foster kid¡¯. Like¡­ who cares? There¡¯s something else.¡±

    Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

    She swallowed. ¡°Diana, I¡­ it¡¯s¡­¡± She looked down at her lap. ¡°It¡¯s something pretty big, okay? It¡¯s not something I can easily tell you.¡±

    Just like Harry. She echoed him word for word.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t feel like I can blurt this out to you. We just met three days ago. We¡¯re practically strangers. This is something deep, and I don¡¯t like talking about things that don¡¯t concern me.¡± She glanced at the boys. ¡°They should tell you. It¡¯s their responsibility.¡±

    I glanced at them. Both were silent, not interacting with anyone. ¡°Their responsibility?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right. I don¡¯t know if people are just exaggerating the rumors, or if it¡¯s really this¡­ weird. That¡¯s the thing, I don¡¯t even know if all of it is true-¡±

    ¡°But what is it?¡±

    She shook her head. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Diana. I want to tell you, I do. But I¡¯m only scratching the surface. They have to tell you. They¡¯re the only ones that know the real story. It¡¯s their story.¡± She got on her phone. ¡°I think the reason no one tells you anything is either because they¡¯re scared of you, or because they assume you know already. Like me, I thought you knew. It¡¯s something people would¡­ logically think. It¡¯s unbelievable that they don¡¯t even give you a hint.¡±

    My frustration grew as she spoke. ¡°Well, can you give me a hint?¡±

    The bus suddenly jerked forward. Our hands shot out and blocked us from slamming into the seats in front of us. The bus driver started cursing and gesturing as he yelled at someone in front of the bus. ¡°What is wrong with you?!¡±

    I stood to see what the commotion was, my head in full view. The bus started up again.

    ¡°Look out!¡±

    Mildred¡¯s warning instantly activated my reflexes. I ducked, an orange flying over my head and hitting someone else.

    ¡°Ow! What was that for?!¡± a boy yelled, rubbing his head.

    I looked over at the students in the back, who snickered. I huffed and sat back down, keeping my head out of aim.

    ¡°Do you know yet?¡± a girl called.

    ¡°Shut up, Jamie,¡± I heard Tommy say.

    ¡°Well, does she know?¡± a boy asked.

    ¡°Just shut up.¡±

    ¡°Do you, Pensky?¡±

    Pensky?

    ¡°You know the whole scandal with you and-¡±

    There was a thump, followed by exclamations. ¡°Shut up!¡±

    I peeked behind us. Tommy was standing, his arms tense, while Harry restrained him. One of the boys was on the floor. ¡°Tommy, enough!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s going on back there?¡± the driver said.

    ¡°Nothing!¡± Harry said.

    ¡°Then quiet down.¡±

    He coaxed Tommy back into his seat, calming him. I watched them with blank eyes, studying their expressions. Tommy¡¯s face was flushed with anger and panic while Harry looked¡­ conflicted?

    I sighed and gave Mildred a glance. ¡°You know what? Just don¡¯t tell me. I don¡¯t care anymore.¡±

    ¡°Diana, I want to tell you, but I don¡¯t know if-¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± I snapped. ¡°Just forget it, okay?¡±

    ~~~

    Kyle

    My head was pounding. I wanted to block out the conversation, pretend it wasn¡¯t happening, but I couldn¡¯t help but listen. It was painful seeing Tommy pacing back and forth, pathetically apologizing over and over again.

    ¡°I swear, babe. It was just a prank. I swear.¡±

    A pause.

    ¡°I¡¯m not! I¡¯m not, babe. Okay?¡±

    I wearily glanced at my other brothers, who gave me the same look back.

    ¡°I love you, too.¡± Tommy then sighed. ¡°I love you, Shirl-bear.¡±

    ¡°Oh, God.¡± I rolled my eyes while Jack and Harry snickered.

    ¡°Okay. Bye.¡± He hung up with a large sigh.

    ¡°Tom, she may be toxic, but you shouldn¡¯t have lied to her,¡± I said.

    ¡°She¡¯s too crazy. I can¡¯t tell her the truth.¡± He crashed onto the sofa.

    ¡°You know¡­ this was the perfect way to break it off. For a moment, you were free,¡± Harry pointed out.

    ¡°Are you crazy?¡± Tommy frowned. ¡°I¡¯ll be the ¡®ex¡¯ for her. She¡¯ll go around telling everyone how ¡®horrible¡¯ I was and how I cheated on her. People are saying enough about me. I don¡¯t need more.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s the reason you started looking at that stuff in the first place!¡±

    ¡°Could we drop the subject?¡±

    Jack scoffed. ¡°Yeah. Avoid talking about it, like you always do.¡±

    ¡°Alright, that¡¯s enough.¡± I got off my phone, having ended my conversation with Nicole. ¡°You guys want to play PS5 or something? Did you do all your homework?¡±

    ¡°I have some, but it¡¯s due Friday,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°Today¡¯s Thursday.¡± Jack looked at him derisively.

    ¡°Yeah. I have 24 hours.¡±

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t.¡±

    He groaned. ¡°Come on, I need to unwind right now.¡±

    Tommy¡¯s phone rang again, the familiar ringtone instantly irritating us.

    ¡°Oh, come on, don¡¯t answer!¡± I said.

    ¡°Just give me a minute.¡± He took the call.

    ¡°Or ten hours.¡±

    He glared at me. ¡°Yeah, babe?¡± A pause. ¡°Uh¡­ no, no. We haven¡¯t.¡± A few seconds. ¡°Honey, I told you, it¡¯s not easy. We can¡¯t just tell her.¡±

    I looked up at him, narrowing my eyes. He paced around the den, tensing up. ¡°Shirley, please, I explained this to you. This is something too personal.¡±

    ¡°What is she saying?¡± Jack asked. Tommy motioned for him to be quiet.

    As Shirley spoke, the color drained from his face. ¡°What? No. Don¡¯t-¡± He shook his head. ¡°Shirley, no. You can¡¯t¡­ no! No! I said no!¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡± I demanded.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t your right.¡± Creases formed around his eyebrows, his eyes shifting left and right. His pacing grew faster. ¡°Because it¡¯s not! Please, Shirley¡­ please! Don¡¯t do this!¡±

    I stood. ¡°Let me talk to her.¡± I held out my hand.

    He waved me away. ¡°Shirley, we¡¯ll tell her. Okay? We will.¡± He motioned for me to stop as I tried to grab the phone. ¡°We¡¯ll tell her! I promise.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s none of her business,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°It kind of is,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°How? Just because she¡¯s Tom¡¯s girlfriend doesn¡¯t mean she has the right to-¡±

    ¡°Oh, I thought you meant Diana.¡±

    ¡°Okay, babe. Yeah, we¡¯ll tell her,¡± Tommy continued.

    ¡°Stop telling her that!¡± Jack said with exasperation. ¡°We¡¯re not saying anything.¡±

    ¡°We have to.¡±

    ¡°Shut up, Harry.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me to shut up!¡±

    ¡°Hey.¡± I looked at them sternly.

    ¡°Love you. Bye.¡± Tommy hung up once again.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you let me talk to her?¡± I asked.

    ¡°You¡¯d only make it worse.¡± He sat back down on the sofa.

    ¡°What exactly did she say?¡± asked Harry.

    ¡°She said she was going to tell Diana everything if we didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Who does she think she is?!¡± Jack stood, outraged. ¡°It¡¯s not like you¡¯re married or anything!¡±

    ¡°Exactly.¡± Harry nodded.

    ¡°And you went ahead and told her ¡®oh, no, we¡¯ll tell her, babe, I¡¯m sorry¡¯.¡± I gave him a derisive look. ¡°Like, really, Tommy? Do you have to bow to her feet every time she-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not bowing to her feet! Okay? I was just calming her down. She¡¯s going through a lot right now. She doesn¡¯t need this stress.¡±

    ¡°Stress? This has nothing to do with her!¡± Harry chuckled in disbelief.

    ¡°She¡¯s my girlfriend, and she cares about me.¡±

    ¡°No, she doesn¡¯t,¡± I said.

    ¡°Could you get off my case?¡± He stood again, pacing.

    ¡°None of this would¡¯ve happened if you guys let me tell her in the first place.¡± Harry glared at him.

    I glared back. ¡°We¡¯re not telling her anything.¡±

    ¡°Why not?!¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s just here six months. After she leaves, we won¡¯t have to worry.¡±

    ¡°Can you imagine what she¡¯ll do when someone at school tells her? It¡¯s a miracle no one¡¯s told her already! Only reason they don¡¯t is because they¡¯re scared of her!¡±

    I knew he was right. Sooner or later, someone would crack. It was just a matter of time before everyone realized she didn¡¯t know, and someone would have the guts to approach the ¡®ghost girl¡¯ and tell her about Amy.

    Right now, it was all a game. People sadistically made fun of Diana at her school without telling her why. As gossip worked. Everything was behind her back. Everyone was entertained by how she reacted, waiting to see what she¡¯d do.

    Harry told me most people assumed she knew. Some knew she didn¡¯t. They liked to play with their minds and see if they¡¯d crack or not. A sick game.

    And while it wasn¡¯t as bad at my school, people were talking about it in Greenfield, too. My old friends, other people that went to high school with us, their siblings that still went to Summit. It hung over us like a cloud, reminding us of what we did. What we were doing.

    I knew it was wrong. I knew we had to tell her before someone else did. But I¡­ couldn¡¯t.

    My brothers were going at it, their voices raising to high volumes that bombarded my eardrums. ¡°You¡¯re going to keep your mouth shut! If you know what¡¯s good for you-¡±

    ¡°What¡¯d good for me? Fine. Go ahead! Hit me! Beat me to death! GO AHEAD! I¡¯M TELLING HER ANYWAY!¡±

    I stood and got between them. Mom and Dad were still working in their room, but they¡¯d for sure hear all this if it got any messier.

    And to think they¡¯d gotten better before everything happened. Now it was like it all went back to normal¡­ before our relationship with Amy improved. And now it was even worse.

    ¡°Jack, go to our room,¡± I said.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Go to our room.¡±

    ¡°What for?¡±

    ¡°I just want to talk to them.¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t I stay?¡± he demanded.

    ¡°Because you¡¯ll just butt in. Go.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not my father, Kyle. You don¡¯t get to throw me out-¡± He stopped, looking at the door, which was ajar. We all looked over. There was no one there.

    I narrowed my eyes and approached the doorway. I reached behind it and found an arm.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I pulled Diana into our sight. She snatched her arm away, shoving me. I crossed my arms, giving her the stare-down. She only glared back up at me.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t anyone tell you to not stick your nose into other people¡¯s private conversations?¡± said Tommy.

    She slipped past me. ¡°Actually, no. Not that this was private, anyway. The whole neighborhood can hear you with the way you¡¯re screaming.¡±

    She had a point.

    ¡°So¡­¡± She crossed her arms with a smile. ¡°Shirley¡¯s willing to tell me what¡¯s going on, huh?¡±

    Everyone froze.

    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t that nice of her? Maybe I misjudged her.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s bluffing,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°Maybe. I should just go up and ask her. She goes to our school, right? Or I could just ask literally anybody else. Someone will explain what¡¯s going on.¡±

    We remained silent. My eyes snapped to Harry, who was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. It was like he was about to burst, desperately holding the words in him.

    All of us wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her.

    ¡°Well¡­¡± She sighed. ¡°What a tangled web we weave.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s just go.¡± Jack bolted out of the room, followed by Harry, who practically ran out.

    I turned to leave, but was stopped by Diana grabbing my wrist. Her grip wasn¡¯t strong, but I couldn¡¯t pull away. Her eyes were sharp as knives, boring into mine.

    Sea green. Just like mine. Just like hers.

    Cutting through the harshness was a spark of desperation. She inhaled through her nose, her grip tightening. ¡°Are you serious?¡± Her voice cracked. ¡°Are you serious?!¡± She dropped my wrist, raking her hands through the whitish-blond waves on her head.

    They were lighter than hers. Hers were golden.

    ¡°Sh¡­¡± She took a deep breath. ¡°Don¡¯t you see? This is the reason you guys treated me like absolute garbage. This is the reason why literally no one wants to talk to me at school. Why they¡¯re constantly staring and whispering about me!¡±

    ¡°Oh, come on, Diana, you have plenty of friends,¡± Tommy interjected from the sofa. ¡°The first week isn¡¯t even over. You have Mildred, your preschool friend.¡± He numbered the girls on his fingers. ¡°Then that guy in your Biology class. You¡¯ve got friends. So stop complaining.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll stop complaining when you¡¯re honest with me.¡±

    Silence again. My fingers drummed on my bicep and my foot tapped. I wanted to leave, but a magnetic force kept me planted in the doorway.

    ¡°Really?¡± Diana shook her head. ¡°I mean, nothing? You won¡¯t tell me anything?¡±

    ¡°Diana, if your life here is so miserable, then why don¡¯t you just move?¡± I snapped.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a choice!¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± I approached her, letting my anger take over. She backed away, seeming frightened. I didn¡¯t want to scare her so badly, but I needed her to leave. I needed her to stop holding me here.

    ¡°If you left, things would be a lot easier for all of us!¡± I sharply gestured towards Tommy, my hand slamming into the nearby lamp with a sharp sting. As I recoiled, the lamp wobbled off the side table and tipped to the floor.

    Oh¡­ Mom was going to kill me.

    I held out my hands in a futile attempt to catch it. ¡°No-no-no-¡± It crashed onto the floor, breaking. I winced at the loud noise.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Harry and Jack showed up at the door.

    ¡°I knocked over the lamp. Did Mom hear?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°Diana!¡± Harry ran over to her. I turned, not having noticed her sitting on the floor with her hands over her ears. ¡°Diana, are you-¡±

    She threw her hands out, pushing him away. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ touch me! Don¡¯t touch me! I don¡¯t need¡­ I don¡¯t want you!¡± She stood, her legs failing her as she collapsed to the floor. Harry tried to help her up, but she refused again, struggling to run away.

    We looked at each other, waiting for one of us to go after her. In the end, we all crouched and picked up the mess of ceramic.

    ~~~

    Diana

    09.08.23

    Dear Diary, I had my first Cooking class today. It was honestly the highlight of my day. It was really fun. The teacher¡¯s a bit strict, though. Kind of scary. But I didn¡¯t run into any problems with her. She scared everyone so bad that they didn¡¯t dare stare at me or whisper during class.

    On the other hand, I got humiliated in Spanish class today. A couple girls came up to me and tricked me into saying a swear word. I know I swear pretty regularly, but this particular swear was apparently really offensive and my teacher almost sent me to detention. The girls weren¡¯t even in my class. The embarrassment was horrible enough to give me an anxiety attack. It wasn¡¯t too bad, but still. At least it¡¯s Friday.

    I¡¯m also eating alone at lunch now. I¡¯m eating in the study room. It¡¯s quiet, there aren¡¯t many people around, and it¡¯s just better being alone. I feel bad for Thelma and Kate, but it¡¯s honestly better for them. I just need time to think.

    ~~~

    09.10.23

    Dear Diary, this weekend wound up being worse than school. I haven¡¯t stopped fighting with the boys. Every day, we¡¯re yelling and screaming about something. Yesterday, I spilled juice on Harry and he said I did it on purpose (I didn¡¯t). Today, Tommy and Jack were basically bullying him and I stepped in. How does this idiot thank me? He blames <u>me</u>! It got to the point where I got physical and started hitting him, and Kyle had to pull me out of the room. Then he gives me a lecture because Davis isn¡¯t around.

    And their parents really don¡¯t do anything. They¡¯re always holed up in their room working. I can see why the boys hardly talk to them at dinner.

    ~~~

    09.13.23

    Dear Diary, I almost got Harry to spill during dinner today. I was <u>so close</u>. But Kyle caught on and he butt in. I really hate him right now. I¡¯ve always hated him and the others, but I hate him more today.

    Honestly, he¡¯s the meanest out of the four. He hardly gets as angry as the other three, but there¡¯s something about his cold and detached way of treatment that just¡­ hits hard.

    As hellish as it is living here, it¡¯s my best bet for full meals and clothing. I hadn¡¯t eaten properly in a <u>long</u> time. I¡¯ll have to really fake it when Ms. B¡ªlong comes over to review us. Otherwise, it¡¯s all over.

 10~ Running Out

    Diana

    September 15<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    Chemistry thankfully finished and I bolted out of the classroom in a flash. Biology was interesting enough to keep my attention, but Chemistry was a nightmare for me.

    It was lunch now, so I pushed against the current of students heading to the mess hall. The library had become quite the sanctuary for me. It seemed that all the school¡¯s ¡®outcasts¡¯ would stay there; I¡¯d see lonely students lounging in chairs and at tables, ignoring the world around them. But even they would cast a glance at me every now and then.

    How I wished I could be as invisible as they were.

    Just as I turned the corner, something tapped on my shoulder. Turning, I saw a girl around my height with pixie-cut blond hair and gray eyes smiling breathlessly.

    ¡°Hi,¡± she panted lightly. ¡°Diana, right?¡±

    ¡°Uh, yeah?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m Blanche. I¡¯m in your Chemistry class.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I vaguely remembered her¡ª she sat in the furthest corner, sort of isolated. I was a bit surprised that someone so introverted as her would approach me like this.

    ¡°Anyways, I¡¯ve wanted to meet you. I have a few friends I sit with at lunch. You want to join us?¡±

    ¡°You wanted to meet me?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ I heard about you¡­ around. And I heard you¡¯re a foster kid.¡± She shrugged. ¡°I am, too.¡±

    This caught my attention. ¡°You are?¡±

    ¡°Five years. You?¡±

    ¡°Twelve.¡±

    ¡°Wow.¡± She chuckled a bit. ¡°You¡¯re with the Fields now, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ for a few months.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s cool. So¡­ you good sitting with us?¡±

    I hesitated. She seemed nice enough. I didn¡¯t want more rumors about me being too rude and standoffish. ¡°Yeah, sure. Thanks.¡±

    We started walking with the flow of students, which had diminished by now. ¡°You haven¡¯t met anyone else to sit with?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ I usually like being alone, but I¡¯m good sitting with you. What grade are you in?¡±

    ¡°10<sup>th</sup>, like you. I¡¯m living with the McCarthy family right now.¡±

    ¡°You have a bio family?¡± Realizing how intrusive the question was, I quickly retracted. ¡°Sorry, that was¡­¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good. I have a mom. She¡¯s kinda¡­ into drugs, so I¡¯ve been in and out the past years. My dad left when I was 10.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Could be a lot worse.¡±

    We reached the mess hall and Blanche led me to her table. I stopped short, recognizing one of the faces; the girl that led me to my class on the first day, from the¡­ committee of welcoming or something. The other girl had her wavy hair dyed pink and a nose ring.

    ¡°Hey, guys.¡± We sat down. ¡°Diana, I think you met Alma.¡±

    Alma¡¯s disposition was different from last week. She flashed a friendly smile and wave. ¡°How¡¯s it going?¡±

    ¡°And this is Jada.¡±

    The girl glanced at me, smiling briefly, then returned to her phone, long, black nails tapping the screen. I took out my lunch, awkwardly starting my sandwich.

    ¡°So, Diana, how¡¯s Summit been so far?¡± Alma asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. You know¡­ classes, homework, everything.¡±

    ¡°What about at home?¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°I heard you hacked Tommy and Harry¡¯s accounts on Familiar,¡± Blanche remarked.

    ¡°Well, I didn¡¯t hack them. Anyone could get in. But, yeah, I posted stuff.¡±

    Alma laughed. ¡°You don¡¯t like them?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re okay¡­ I guess I just wanted to mess with them.¡±

    ¡°You got thrown off the bus. Was that why?¡± Jada suddenly asked, her brown eyes fixed on her phone.

    ¡°Uh- yeah¡­ kinda. You heard about that, too?¡±

    ¡°I take your bus. I¡¯m two rows behind you.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± I blushed, a little embarrassed.

    My eyes flickered to the cafeteria door, where Thelma was entering with Kate. The familiar pair of nut-brown eyes soon spotted me, their usual table just about 10 feet away. Kate immediately waved, smiling. Thelma also waved, but I could see a bit of pain in her smile. Guilt washed over me like a bucket of ice water.

    I¡¯d said we¡¯d be besties¡­ but for some reason, I just didn¡¯t want to talk to her or Kate. And I was only sitting with Blanche to be polite. I didn¡¯t want to sit with anyone.

    ¡°You good, Diana?¡± Alma asked, leaning into my field of vision.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ yeah, I¡¯m good.¡±

    ~~~

    Harry

    Friday. Just one more day to go and I could take a break. Even if it was just two days, it was something.

    I was desperate. High school was already exhausting before, but now¡­ it was pure torture. My heart was being pulled left and right like a tug-of-war rope. I wanted to scream, but there was a chain wrapped around my mouth, forged by everyone around me.

    I put my books on my desk and sat, my feet tapping on the floor as I waited. I pulled my phone out and checked my messages.

    ThrowawayDiver1011 (Throwaway Diver): Photo

    Oh, boy. I opened it, tensing in anticipation.

    Yup, that seemed about right.

    I sent a swearing text at the undercover Jason Diver and blocked him once again. It was amazing how many accounts he had. Did he not have a life?

    flynngrinn: hey forward some of those links for me

    I frowned. hpfpringle: what links? I asked.

    Lol the ones u shared

    I rolled my eyes. Dude u know i got hacked. i dont have any links ok

    Ok sure keep telling yourself that (smile emoji)

    I sighed in exasperation. im serious lucas i dont look at any of that stuff. So just shut up about it

    Fine geez u dont have to get so b¡ªchy about it

    I closed his chat. Why did I even talk to him? Yet another promise to Amy that I failed to keep.

    I glanced at the door, finally seeing her face: carob skin and nylon pixie-cut hair.

    I chewed on my lip as she sat behind me. I didn¡¯t know what to do. That first day, we seemed to get along, but afterwards, she gradually stopped talking to me. I didn¡¯t blame her, though. The rumors were everywhere.

    I didn¡¯t know why this particular new girl was on my mind, but there was just something about her that I really liked. Beside the fact she was pretty, she was also smart, sweet, funny¡­

    Alas, I was still the ¡®single pringle¡¯, as everyone always said. The name was a little needle poking at my chest, sharper and sharper every time. They loved calling me that, no matter how much I told them to stop.

    Mom and Dad always reminded us that relationships weren¡¯t our priority. We were young, we could meet plenty of people, we could follow our dreams. And they¡¯d reassure me that being ¡®single¡¯ really didn¡¯t matter right now.

    While I did agree with them and tried not to concentrate on having a girlfriend¡­ I couldn¡¯t help but feel a little miffed that all my siblings managed to find their ¡®One¡¯.

    Well, except Tommy. He was worse off than I was.

    Maybe I was being too hasty. Maybe Nicole and Amelia wouldn¡¯t be ¡®the one¡¯ for Kyle and Jack. But still¡­ it was nice to have something. It just seemed like a nice thing, having that ¡®first love¡¯ in high school, or in college. It didn¡¯t have to end the fairytale way, with us getting married once we finished college, it just had to be.

    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    Our professor entered and greeted us. ¡°Good morning, everyone. Today, we¡¯re going to start a little project.¡±

    Some of the class groaned.

    ¡°You will join in pairs and start working on a short paper based on one of the topics we¡¯ve discussed up to now. State the main idea, do some research, and add a ¡®Works Cited¡¯ page. It only has to be 3 to 4 pages.¡±

    I quickly wrote down the details as he explained the rest.

    -Pairs

    -Paper on any discused topic

    -3-4 pgs.

    ¡°Get together with your partner. If you don¡¯t find one, you can make a trio. You have the rest of the period to start planning your papers.¡±

    Desks groaned and shifted as everyone moved to join their best friends. I looked around, wondering who to work with. Walter? Nah, he was always with his girlfriend. Preston? Too late. Mar¨ªa? Nope, she got a partner, too. Anxiety gripped my throat as I mustered up the courage to approach someone.

    I swallowed, rising from my desk. I was interrupted by a loud scraping behind me. Turning, I saw Mildred pushing her desk next to mine.

    ¡°Lift your desks when you move them, please,¡± the professor said, his eyes remaining on his computer screen.

    She sat down. ¡°Hi, Harry.¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ h-hi, Mildred. Um¡­¡± I sat back down. ¡°Y-you¡¯re pairing up with me?¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°Duh. Why else would I sit here?¡± She took her backpack off the seat.

    Still confused, I slowly nodded. ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°Unless you wanted to pair up with someone else?¡±

    ¡°Oh, no. No. Of course not.¡±

    ¡°Great.¡± She took out her notebook and pens. ¡°Alright. What ideas do you have?¡± She clicked her blue pen, already writing something down.

    ¡°Um, uh¡­ well¡­¡± I fumbled through the pages of my own notebook. ¡°I-I guess¡­ you can pick.¡±

    ¡°I have an idea, but I want to hear yours.¡±

    ¡°Okay, um¡­¡± I shrugged, turning to a page. ¡°I guess¡­ the different types of personalities, and temperaments¡­ that sounds good.¡±

    ¡°Good idea!¡± She smiled, a bit too brightly, and wrote it down. For a few moments, we were silent. Her pen scribbled noisily on the paper.

    ¡°So, uh¡­ how do you want to split?¡± I asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡±

    ¡°I guess¡­ two pages each?¡±

    ¡°Sure, that sounds good.¡± She slid her notebook over. ¡°We could split the intro, body, and conclusion this way. The body goes to both of us. We can cover different topics, too.¡±

    I read her list. ¡°Uh¡­¡± I raised my brows. ¡°Wow. This is¡­ pretty good. You¡¯re really¡ª¡± I cleared my throat¡ª ¡°you¡¯re really smart.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡± She flashed another blinding smile and slid the notebook back to her desk. ¡°That¡¯s basically the main outline, then.¡±

    I shifted uncomfortably. She was acting a bit too¡­ happy.

    ¡°We can share the doc so we can give each other pointers about our work.¡± She put her hand over mine, sending an electric shock through me. For a moment, I was frozen. ¡°And I want you to be completely honest with me, okay? You¡¯re an honest person, right? I can trust you, can¡¯t I?¡±

    She was really freaking me out. ¡°Y¡­ yeah. You can.¡±

    ¡°Good. Because I¡¯m going to be 100% honest with you. As transparent as a window.¡± She giggled.

    I only nodded with an attempt at a chuckle. ¡°Okay¡­¡± I cleared my throat again. ¡°When do you want to work? When¡¯s your study hall?¡±

    ¡°Right after lunch.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Are you free after class? I have a free period.¡±

    ¡°No, sorry, I have Italian.¡±

    I raised my brows. ¡°You take Italian? Cool.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I like it. And Japanese, too.¡±

    Japanese¡­ Amy took Japanese. And Korean. She was so obsessed with anime¡­

    Anime is JAPANESE! Korean animation is¡­

    What was it? I couldn¡¯t remember. She always got so mad when we named them wrong.

    ¡°We could also work after school,¡± Mildred suggested. ¡°I could go over to your place if you want.¡± She brightened. ¡°I can see Diana that way!¡± she said overexcitedly. ¡°How is she, by the way? She doesn¡¯t say much about you guys on the bus anymore.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ she¡¯s good. We¡¯re good.¡± Maybe her coming over was a bad idea. ¡°Or we can meet up at your place. Or anywhere else. We can go out to eat,¡± I quickly suggested.

    ¡°Why not at your place?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ my brothers. They like to distract me when I¡¯m working.¡±

    ¡°Ah, yes, sibling rivalry. Does Diana do the same thing?¡± She looked at me curiously.

    ¡°Uh, not really. No. She¡¯s¡­ quieter.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll be able to work together at your house, though. I¡¯d love to meet the rest of Diana¡¯s family.¡±

    Where was she going with this? ¡°I-I really don¡¯t know, Mildred-¡±

    ¡°Come on, Diana¡¯s my friend! I¡¯d love to see how happy she is with you guys!¡± She leaned closer. ¡°She is happy with you guys, right?¡±

    A knot tied in my throat. ¡°Mildred, what are you talking about?¡± I finally asked.

    She leaned back, her happiness fading into a cold stare. She crossed her arms and sighed. ¡°I¡¯m gonna be honest, Harry.¡± She closed her notebook and faced me. ¡°I know it¡¯s only been a couple weeks, but Diana¡¯s more of a friend to me than all my childhood ¡®friends¡¯ combined. I¡¯ve literally never had a friend like that. And what you¡¯re doing to her isn¡¯t cool.¡±

    I remained silent, my lips pressing together.

    ¡°I haven¡¯t told her nothing.¡± Her voice had lowered to a near-whisper, keeping the conversation between the two of us. ¡°She doesn¡¯t show it, but I know she¡¯s still upset with me for not telling her. I want to be friends with her, and be honest with her, but I couldn¡¯t tell her this. It¡¯s your job.¡±

    My eyes gravitated to my notebook, unable to lift up again. I felt my face reddening with shame. ¡°I know, Mildred, and we are going to tell her.¡± I sighed. ¡°It¡¯s just complicated.¡±

    She stared at me. Her gaze softened slightly. ¡°Okay, look. I didn¡¯t know Amy. And I don¡¯t know you. So¡­ I know I¡¯m overstepping my boundaries.¡± She paused, clicking her pen nervously. ¡°But I¡¯ve gotten to know Diana. Even if we only see each other on the bus, she¡¯s become my best girl¡­ I don¡¯t know how. I feel like I¡¯ve known her for years. I¡¯ve never¡­ I¡¯ve never had a friend like that before. In my life. I can tell she¡¯s gone through some messed up stuff. She told me she hasn¡¯t even gone to school in years, and the first thing she has to deal with is this.¡±

    I just wished she would make it easier for all of us and go to virtual school instead, or even a different school. What was keeping her here if she was so miserable?

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve wanted to tell her. But¡­¡± I shrugged. ¡°I just can¡¯t bring myself to.¡±

    She narrowed her eyes. ¡°You can¡¯t bring yourself to tell her, or your family doesn¡¯t let you tell her?¡±

    I looked at her again. ¡°You¡¯re good.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s obvious,¡± she laughed. ¡°You¡¯re the youngest, right? I can tell your brother makes you wuss out. One look, and you¡¯re like, ¡®nope¡¯.¡± She put a hand on my wrist. ¡°Maybe telling her will make things easier.¡±

    My stomach stirred in conflict. I didn¡¯t answer.

    ¡°I mean, I didn¡¯t say a thing because I actually respect y¡¯all. But everyone else? They¡¯re not respectful. They like to stick their noses in stuff they shouldn¡¯t. It¡¯s a miracle from God that no one¡¯s actually said anything. But one of these days, someone will. It¡¯s better if she hears it from you guys at home than some jerkwad here at school.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± I didn¡¯t care what the other guys would say. I¡¯d have to take the beating. Time was running out. If I didn¡¯t tell her, someone else would, and it would be ten times worse. It could be Lucas, or Jason. Maybe even Lisa. Ivy was probably being merciful to us, considering how much she loathed us now.

    And Shirley¡­ she already threatened to tell her. Tommy wouldn¡¯t do anything about it.

    So I would.

    ~~~

    Susan

    Davis closed his computer and stretched with a stressed groan. I glanced up from the photo album I was looking at, lying on my side of the bed. ¡°Done?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± He stretched a bit more and sighed. ¡°This account is ridiculous.¡± He came to bed and sat on his side, looking at the photo album. ¡°You¡¯ve been looking at that every day.¡±

    ¡°I know. I just¡­ can¡¯t stop.¡±

    He scooted closer, his eyes also roving over the pages. Amy¡¯s baby face smiled back at us, along with our little boys. He chuckled and pointed at a picture of 4-year-old Kyle, who was screaming with joy. ¡°Which one is that one?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ I think that¡¯s when he found out we were having a girl.¡±

    ¡°Before¡­ the twins?¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm. This is before. That was after.¡± I pointed at a different picture where Kyle is rolling on the floor in excitement, nothing but a blur in the camera. Behind him, Tommy is crying, probably startled by his sudden screaming.

    I turned a couple pages. We reached the ¡®First Day of School¡¯ collection. Amy stood in front of her elementary school with Ivy and Monica, looking around 9 or 10. My beautiful little girl, so happy.

    ¡°Have you talked to Monica¡¯s parents lately?¡± Davis asked.

    ¡°Not lately. In fact, it¡¯s been a while,¡± I realized. ¡°She¡¯s not going to school this year.¡±

    ¡°She barely went to school last year.¡±

    ¡°I wonder how Ivy¡¯s doing.¡±

    In one of the pictures, the boys were piled onto Harry. Amy held the camera, making a peace sign and winking with her tongue out.

    ¡°God, I hated when she did that,¡± Davis chuckled.

    ¡°You were too hard on her. She was only 10.¡±

    He shrugged. ¡°People her age are always doing stupid things. I didn¡¯t want her to be like everyone else.¡±

    ¡°Oh, please, you¡¯re one to talk.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°¡®What do I mean?¡¯ What about our first date?¡±

    He looked away. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°The limo, and the flowers¡­¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a limo, it was a sedan.¡±

    ¡°With the chocolate fountain¡­¡±

    He covered his reddened face in shame.

    ¡°And then the cute little dance-¡±

    ¡°Stop! Please, I don¡¯t want to remember that dance!¡± he cried.

    ¡°Why? It was adorable. And you had those shoes with Sharpie on them. Didn¡¯t your mother always say, ¡®Take those shoes off, they look stupid!¡¯¡± My words faded into laughter.

    To shut me up and stop reliving his embarrassing early 20¡¯s, he started tickling my sides. I tried not to giggle too loud and wake the kids. He chuckled, gently embracing me, and we continued looking at the pictures.

    Page after page, we walked down memory lane. We watched Amy grow and change. Too soon, the pictures ended.

    ¡°We have to tell her, Susan,¡± Davis suddenly said.

    A cold feeling set in my stomach, and I closed the album. The light, happy feeling of nostalgia was gone. ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°Maybe she¡¯s still awake-¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not telling her now.¡±

    ¡°Then when?¡±

    I hesitated. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°We have to tell-¡±

    ¡°I KNOW-¡± I stopped, calming down. ¡°I know we have to tell her, Davis. But¡­¡± I stood and put the album away. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know what she¡¯ll do. The poor girl¡¯s miserable enough.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s miserable because we¡¯re hiding this from her. It won¡¯t be long before one of the boys-¡ª most likely Harry¡ª cracks and tells her. Or worse, it could be someone at school.¡± He stood, approaching me. ¡°And another thing. I want you to stop giving her our daughter¡¯s clothes. I want you to stop pretending she¡¯s our baby.¡± His voice wavered and cracked as tears fell. ¡°That is not Amy, and you know it.¡±

    ¡°I know that¡¯s not her!¡± I snapped. ¡°I bought her new clothes-¡±

    ¡°But you still gave her Amy¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°Just- stop being so pressuring!¡± I walked away from him.

    ¡°Susan, I told you from the very beginning that this was a stupid and sick idea, but of course you don¡¯t listen to me! And all I can do is play along!¡±

    ¡°Lower your voice, they¡¯ll hear you!¡± I sat at our desk, wiping tears. ¡°Just let me think, please. Stop yelling at me.¡±

    Davis sniffled, turning away. ¡°I don¡¯t mean to yell, honey. I just want us to drop this whole¡­ thing. That girl is a human being and she has the right to know. She¡¯s wondering why people are mistreating her at school, why the boys don¡¯t treat her right. And it¡¯s our fault.¡± He sat on the bed. ¡°I never should¡¯ve let you do this. I could¡¯ve contacted someone at church, let them give her a home.¡±

    ¡°Saying ¡®should¡¯ve, could¡¯ve, would¡¯ve¡¯ does not make it better,¡± I said, vexed, though I knew every word was true. Maybe that was why I didn¡¯t want to hear it.

    I didn¡¯t want Diana to leave. She was a sweet girl who deserved a home. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but if she left, where would she end up? She went through so much. I was between a rock and a hard place. ¡°We can¡¯t just throw her back into that twisted system,¡± I said.

    ¡°I¡¯m thinking she could just live with someone we know. From church,¡± Davis suggested.

    ¡°After you-know-who started those rumors about us? I don¡¯t think so!¡± I exclaimed. ¡°None of them will want to foster her after that.¡±

    ¡°Well, then¡­ people outside of church.¡±

    ¡°But they knew Amy. Everyone we know knew Amy¡ª except our co-workers, but none of them have time to foster a teenage girl.¡±

    ¡°We have time. How can they not have time?¡± he countered.

    ¡°Let me rephrase that. They¡¯ll just say they don¡¯t have the time. They won¡¯t want to take her.¡± I scoffed. ¡°You should¡¯ve seen the looks on some of their faces when I told them we decided to foster.¡±

    Davis sighed into his hands. ¡°Then, I guess we¡¯re¡­ I don¡¯t want to say ¡®stuck with her¡¯, that¡¯s not fair. But¡­ she¡¯s stuck with us. The least we can do is tell her the reason why she¡¯s getting all this hate. Then she can decide whether she wants to stay or not¡­ if the system even lets her make that choice.¡±

    ¡°¡­ You¡¯re right. We should¡­ tell her.¡±

    ¡°Tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Not so soon,¡± I begged.

    ¡°Sooner or later, someone will.¡± He approached me again. I stood, letting him embrace me. ¡°It¡¯s not fair to her or to our sons. It¡¯s not fair that we¡¯re forcing them into this. What we¡¯re doing is wrong.¡±

    ¡°I know it is,¡± I whispered. I broke into tears. ¡°Why does this have to be so hard, Davis? Why did¡­ why did any of this happen? Why did I find her?¡± I started sobbing into his shirt.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, honey.¡± He stroked my hair, lightly kissing my forehead.

    ¡°Please tell me that one day it¡¯ll be over. I can¡¯t take this.¡±

    ¡°Me neither. I hope it¡¯s over.¡±

    After four boys, we had two girls¡­ then we only had one.

    And then we had none.

 11~ Doppelganger

    Diana

    09.16.23

    Dear Diary, I¡¯ve gotten that feeling back. It¡¯s that one when I feel really¡­ empty. Every day seems like a blur. It¡¯s like the world is gray and dull and boring. At school, I¡¯m getting used to all the looks.

    Thelma and the other girls have reached out to me, and Tony too, but I just don¡¯t feel like being around them. I hardly know them, and it feels awkward when they talk to me. Thelma really wants to be ¡®best friends¡¯, but that was 12 years ago. We¡¯re obviously not the same little girls we were.

    And with the Fields, I¡¯m mostly in my room now. I don¡¯t feel like dealing with the boys or their parents. I¡¯m just so¡­ tired of my life. I feel like I¡¯m at the end of the

    My phone buzzed, interrupting me. On GoodNews, Mildred had texted me.

    Mildred: Hey

    I sighed, not opening the message. I didn¡¯t want to talk right now.

    How r u? she followed.

    I swiped the alerts away. It was exhausting talking to people. It was nice of them to try and care, but eventually, they¡¯d probably get tired of me. I wanted to save myself the consequences of trusting and just leave it at that.

    I¡¯d given up on finding out the little ¡®secret¡¯. It was obvious no one would ever tell me. They were just using it as another tool, another weapon to use against me. Maybe ignorance was bliss. Maybe knowing would make everything worse.

    Sighing, I leaned back in my chair and looked around my room. It was nice. Comfy. Homey. But sooner or later, I¡¯d be leaving it. Anytime I was given something good, it would be snatched away later on. I was better off not receiving anything at all.

    What was the point? Why would I hope for something better? I was surprised that I trusted the Fields to be a ¡®good¡¯ family. After so many placements, I should¡¯ve been a lot more cynical.

    There was some kind of curse on me. Somehow, in some way, I hurt people around me. I instilled hate in everyone I met. Maybe I did or said stuff that made me deserve everything. There just¡­ had to be something wrong with me.

    There was plenty wrong with me, but since my parents died, it was like I became the scum of the earth to everyone else. What was it? What was so repulsive about me? Did someone put a hex on my name?

    No point in wondering. I wouldn¡¯t be able to change anything. Sometimes I felt like disappearing was the best I could do for the world.

    Someone knocked on my door, interrupting my thoughts. ¡°Come in,¡± I said.

    Harry peeked in, smiling thinly. ¡°Hey. Um¡­ are you busy?¡±

    My brows knitted. ¡°No? What do you need?¡± A bit of contempt snuck into my voice, expecting another chore.

    ¡°Great. Uh¡­¡± He put his hands in his pockets and glanced behind him. ¡°Could you¡­ come with me? I need to talk to you.¡±

    My heart skipped a beat as my body stiffened. ¡°¡­ Sure.¡± I turned off my lamp and closed my diary, stuffing it in my old backpack. I¡¯d made the mistake of leaving it open way too many times in the past.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± He led me out into the hall. I thought he wanted to chat in his room, but he surprised me when he took a key out of his pocket and went to the attic door.

    ¡°Where are we going?¡± I asked suspiciously. My foot shifted into a defensive stance.

    He looked at me. ¡°I¡¯ve wanted to tell you this for a long time. The whole family needed to tell you since the beginning. But it¡¯s too difficult to put into words.¡± He opened the door fully. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. About everything. For being so mean to you, for not telling you¡­ everything.¡±

    I stared at him. My stomach was flipping like a washing machine and my heart picked up speed.

    ¡°Like I said, I don¡¯t know how to tell you this, so¡­ I¡¯ll show you.¡± He glanced around before going up. Hesitantly, I followed at a slower pace, still cautious.

    Harry seemed to wince at every creak in the stairs. He put a finger to his lips and treaded carefully. I nodded and tried walking as quietly as possible. We emerged into a wide attic with a low, triangular ceiling. There were all sorts of boxes everywhere.

    ¡°You see those boxes?¡± He pointed at them.

    I glanced at them and nodded.

    ¡°Read them.¡±

    I looked back at them, realizing they were labeled in marker. ¡®Amy¡¯s clothes¡¯, ¡®Amy¡¯s toys¡¯, ¡®Amy¡¯s drawings¡¯. A few of the clothes boxes were open and empty.

    ¡°Amy?¡± I inquired. ¡°Who¡¯s Amy?¡±

    ¡°Look in that one,¡± he answered, pointing at a box labeled ¡®Amy¡¯s pictures¡¯.

    I approached it and hesitantly opened the loose flaps. I pulled out one of the picture frames inside.

    I nearly dropped it when it came into the light.

    ¡°This¡­¡± My voice stuck in my throat. ¡°Th-this¡­ this is me.¡±

    ¡°No. That¡¯s Amy.¡±

    I looked at him, confused. ¡°B-but¡­ I don¡¯t understand.¡±

    He paced, an anxious breath leaving his lips and bouncing off the walls. Slowly, he explained. ¡°Mom and Dad wanted a daughter. For a long time. They tried over and over again, and every time, they¡¯d get a son. So¡­ a few months after my first birthday, Mom got pregnant. And later on, they found out they were two girls.¡±

    I clutched the picture in my hands, gazing at it. We were identical. Same face, same eyes, same everything.

    ¡°When she gave birth to them, one of the twins was stillborn. The other lived¡­ and they named her Amy.¡±

    My heart trembled. I sat on the floor, my limbs turning to jelly.

    ¡°And last year¡­¡± His voice shook a bit. ¡°She was diagnosed with stomach cancer. She died just this May.¡±

    I could only stare at him, mouth slacked open.

    ¡°That¡¯s why people look at you the way they do, Diana. That¡¯s why everyone at school is so afraid of you. And¡­ that¡¯s why we didn¡¯t want you here.¡±

    My heart pounded in my ears. I tried my best to keep calm. I needed to know the rest. I needed to know everything.

    I swallowed, my jaw trembling as I tried to speak. ¡°S-so you¡¯re saying¡­ I¡­¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°I¡¯m here¡­ because I look like her?¡± I pointed at the picture. ¡°Like your sister? They took me in because¡­¡±

    He remained silent, his eyes lowering in shame. My breath began to falter.

    No wonder everyone was so creeped out. No wonder they whispered about me all the time. No wonder.

    ¡°Am I in her room?¡± I found myself asking. ¡°Did your parents¡­ give me her room? Her clothes?¡±

    He folded his lips together and nodded.

    ¡°Her clothes?!¡±

    He nodded again.

    ¡°So¡­ that¡¯s why you didn¡¯t want-¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    How was it possible? How could someone¡­ this was so¡­ demented.

    Dizziness struck. I swallowed down my nausea, groaning slightly. The picture softly clicked against the wooden floor, my face blurring out of sight.

    Her face.

    Warm hands circled my shoulders. ¡°Breathe¡­ breathe, Diana¡­¡± I heard Harry saying. He sounded so distant, as if he were miles away.

    One last look at that picture, and I was out.

    ~~~

    Why did you look at me like that?

    It¡¯s not my place to say.

    ¡°Diana.¡± I looked around in the pitch-black darkness, trying to follow the voice. There was absolutely nothing around me but black.

    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    Listen, Diana¡­ I heard some¡­ things about you.

    The voice was so distant, so far¡­

    ¡°Diana.¡± The voice sounded just a bit clearer. I wanted to walk forward, to follow it, but the darkness froze me in place.

    I know why people are talking about you so much.

    Voices echoed around me, but I couldn¡¯t tell what they were saying. They sounded¡­ angry. Agitated. And I was afraid.

    I don¡¯t know if you can even¡­ handle it.

    ¡°Diana!¡± The voice was a little louder. My feet unstuck and I started walking towards the source.

    They¡¯re the only ones that know the real story. It¡¯s their story.

    The voices got louder. The yelling got louder. I started to run.

    Well¡­ what a tangled web we weave.

    What a tangled web¡­

    ¡°DIANA!¡±

    ~~~

    A bright light. I groaned and closed my eyes, waiting a few seconds. My ears were ringing, but I could hear people yelling.

    A blurry face hovered over me. As my vision cleared, the face became a worried Harry. ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay, Diana,¡± he said.

    I inhaled, my chest aching. Harry gently took my wrists and pulled me up to sit. I looked up and saw the whole family in the attic, arguing.

    ¡°¡­ you don¡¯t get to say that to me, you don¡¯t get to talk to me like that!¡± Susan was saying tearfully.

    ¡°Why shouldn¡¯t I? It¡¯s always been like that with you, Mom! You never care about us! All you care about is yourself!¡± Kyle¡¯s face was red, his voice cracking with sobs.

    Davis was having a separate argument with Tommy while Jack responded to both. ¡°She needed to know, and you know that! Don¡¯t you dare blame it on your brother, and don¡¯t you dare get angry with him! He did the right thing!¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t her business! She¡¯s not part of this family!¡± Tommy yelled.

    Curses and swears filled the air. My hands shakily reached up to cover my ears. My heart was starting to waver again. I wish I¡¯d stayed unconscious.

    ¡°Come on. Let¡¯s go.¡± Harry gently lifted me to my feet, putting his hands over mine to help block the horrible sound. We navigated through the divided family and to the stairs.

    ¡°I¡¯ve forgiven so many things from you, Mom, but this crosses the line!¡± Kyle shouted. ¡°I¡¯m never, ever forgiving you! Ever!¡±

    Harry led me down the stairs to my room. My entire body was trembling. I quickly went over to my bed and lied upside-down so my feet were elevated by my pillows, and started taking deep breaths.

    This was way too much to bear. It was¡­ it was horrible.

    Harry took my hand as I calmed down. Right now, he was the only one in this family that seemed to care. Even in the beginning, I could tell there was some part of him that knew I was innocent. It wasn¡¯t my fault. I didn¡¯t know.

    It wasn¡¯t my fault!

    Harry went to my side table and brought over my cup of water. I sat up, having regained a bit of strength, and took a sip.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I said weakly.

    He sighed, sitting on my bed. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Diana. I¡¯m sorry it had to be this way.¡±

    ¡°No, I¡­ Thank you for¡­ for telling me.¡± I combed my hair out of my face. ¡°Now I know¡­ why it wasn¡¯t easy for you to tell me.¡±

    He nodded. We sat in silence for a while.

    ¡°Do you want to be alone?¡± he asked.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. Just close the door for me, I don¡¯t want anyone else in here.¡±

    He moved to do so while I checked my phone. On GoodNews, Thelma had texted me, hey girl! U doing ok? I swiped the message away.

    ¡°You¡¯re not answering that?¡± Harry asked me.

    I shook my head. ¡°Not in the mood.¡±

    ¡°Who was it?¡± He sat next to me.

    ¡°Thelma.¡±

    ¡°Thelma,¡± he repeated. ¡°You met her in preschool, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. She was my bestie.¡± I smiled. ¡°Then after I left¡­ well, I never imagined I¡¯d see her again.¡±

    ¡°What about your other friends? Like, uh¡­ Mildred?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re okay, I guess. Tony¡¯s really nice to me. And Mildred, too.¡±

    Once more, silence.

    ¡°People at school call me a lot of names,¡± I said. ¡°They say stuff like weirdo and all that, but they also call me ¡®Pensky¡¯ a lot.¡±

    Harry sighed, nodding. ¡°Yeah, people have been calling you that.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure if I wanted to know,¡± I chuckled. ¡°What is that?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a murder that happened around¡­ 10 years ago. Some rich woman in the city nearby was killed by Angelina Pensky. She was her double, but they weren¡¯t related. And she impersonated the woman for a while until they finally found her body in a sewer.¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­ I see.¡± That made a whole lot of sense now.

    This was so surreal¡­ it was something out of a horror movie.

    I lied back on my bed, my phone on my chest, and tried to process all the information with my frazzled mind. I reached up to rub my face, only to find it wet with tears I didn¡¯t even know I was shedding.

    When I was little, people always told me I looked more like my dad, but I shared my mother¡¯s eyes. I remembered them saying how beautiful our eyes were, even though I was only 4 at the time. It was like a mantra; it reminded me I still had a part of her with me.

    Sea green eyes with a hint more blue.

    I sniffled and wiped my eyes. Looking at my phone again, my gaze gravitated to Mr. Brian¡¯s chat.

    Wait a second¡­

    I shot to my feet, startling Harry, and called Mr. Brian. My heart raced as the phone rang. He needed to pick up. He needed to answer.

    ¡°Hello, this is David Brian, how can I help you?¡±

    ¡°Did¡­ did you know¡­?¡±

    ¡°Sorry? Who is this?¡±

    ¡°Diana. Did¡­?¡±

    ¡°Diana? What¡¯s the matter?¡±

    ¡°Did you know about the Fields?¡±

    ¡°What about the Fields?¡±

    ¡°Their daughter! Did you know about their daughter? Their daughter Amy who looks just like me?¡±

    After a long pause, Mr. Brian sighed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    I lost feeling in my knees, sitting on my bed again.

    ¡°I wanted to tell you. But the Fields asked me not to. They said they¡¯d tell you later on. I just wanted you to-¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± I yelled angrily.

    ¡°I was hoping they¡¯d tell you.¡±

    ¡°Thanks a lot!¡±

    ¡°Diana, I-¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the only one I trusted! The only one I thought would-¡± I sighed. ¡°I should¡¯ve known. You freaking work in that screwed-up system! Why should you be any different?¡± I hung up before he could respond and threw my phone to the floor. I sunk down and fisted my hair in my hands.

    ¡°Diana¡­¡± Harry lowered himself next to me.

    ¡°I¡­ Harry, I¡­¡± I swallowed, my throat tightening. ¡°I think I need to be alone for a while.¡±

    ¡°You sure?¡±

    ¡°Please.¡±

    He nodded. ¡°Okay. If anything, just text me, alright?¡± He reassuringly squeezed my hand and left, gently closing the door.

    I locked the door, then curled up on my bed and sobbed passionately. Questions piled up in my head, stuffing my brain up to the point that I thought my head would explode. There was just too much to ask. My entire body felt like jelly and my lungs ached.

    Someone knocked on my door. ¡°Diana? It¡¯s me, Susan.¡±

    No. I didn¡¯t want to talk to her.

    ¡°May I come in?¡±

    No, I mentally answered.

    She sighed. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I know I should¡¯ve told you. We both should¡¯ve told you. It was just¡­ I didn¡¯t know how to say it. I couldn¡¯t explain¡­¡± She began to cry. ¡°We were just about to before¡­¡±

    I closed my eyes, continuing my labored breathing. Just the sound of her voice made my body tremble violently. It was the voice of betrayal. It was the voice of a liar.

    She sniffled. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I know what you¡¯re thinking, and I know you¡¯re angry with us.¡±

    You got that right.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to think that this was the only reason we fostered you. We love who you are. You¡¯re you. And we¡­ we¡¯re fond of you. We were being real. Even if you didn¡¯t look like her, we would¡¯ve been the same.¡± She tried the door handle. ¡°Could you please let me in? Please?¡±

    The desperation in her voice almost made me break, but I didn¡¯t want to talk. I couldn¡¯t.

    The door handle rattled as she let go. ¡°Okay. I understand. You need to be alone. It¡¯s probably a lot for you. I¡¯m sorry.¡± I heard her walk away.

    I needed a distraction. I needed to take all of this off my mind and concentrate on something else. My eyes lazily dragged to my desk.

    Slowly, I lifted myself from my bed. I opened my drawer and grabbed my school scissors. I stared at the blades as I opened them.

    I rolled down my left sleeve. My scars were quite faded now, practically gone.

    All that time resisting and hiding them¡­ and for what?

    ~~~

    I ran to the bathroom sinks and rolled up my sleeves, turning a sink on and running the water on my forearms. The burning subsided a bit.

    This was the part I always hated. The regret.

    Even if I promised myself I wouldn¡¯t do it again, I couldn¡¯t stop now. It had taken so much time¡­ so much effort to not do this anymore. All that work for nothing.

    As I predicted, knowing the reason behind the gossip only made it worse. I knew what they were saying about me now. I knew what they were thinking. ¡®Haunted¡¯, ¡®evil¡¯, ¡®ghost¡¯. I could actually hear it now.

    Gossip was a language. It was an intriguing one that everyone was interested in learning. It was all jargon at first, instilling curiosity. But once learned, it became a cursed language, a code one wished they never deciphered. It corrupted one¡¯s soul, like a demonic spell.

    Knowing the meaning behind the words made everything darker and more unbearable. It was better when I was ignorant, when I didn¡¯t understand what they said about me.

    I patted my forearms with paper towels, letting the cold water soothe the burning pain. Girls¡¯ voices echoed in the hallway and approached me. I froze.

    Hurriedly, I ran into a stall and slammed it closed. I put down the toilet lid and sat on top, pulling my feet up, and peered through the crack in the door.

    Four girls stood in front of the sinks with makeup bags. One entered a stall next to me while the others washed their hands and fixed their hair. ¡°Yesterday? They didn¡¯t tell her until yesterday?¡±

    ¡°No! Bruh, all they had to do was open their mouths and say it. I would¡¯ve told her myself.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°They were her brothers. They had to do it, not me.¡± A brunette dabbed her face with foundation. ¡°I¡¯m surprised Harry held out for so long. He¡¯s such a blabbermouth.¡±

    ¡°I thought Tommy was the blabbermouth.¡±

    ¡°No, he¡¯s the tattletale. He likes getting the other guys in trouble. Harry doesn¡¯t mean it.¡±

    I furrowed my brows. Who was this girl? It sounded like she knew the boys pretty well.

    ¡°So¡­ now what, Ivy?¡± a blond next to her asked as she brushed her hair.

    Ivy. Her name didn¡¯t ring a bell.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe she¡¯ll leave, hopefully.¡± She clicked her foundation case closed.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about her,¡± another girl said. I couldn¡¯t see her from where I was peeking, but she stood on the brunette¡¯s left. ¡°She¡¯s a foster kid, right? She should move soon enough.¡±

    ¡°Not if they adopt her,¡± said Ivy. ¡°I swear, if they do¡­¡±

    ¡°Nah. This girl¡¯s got issues,¡± the third girl said. ¡°Eventually, they¡¯ll realize she¡¯s not Amy, and that she¡¯s too much to handle.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± the girl in the stall said. The loudness of her voice made me gasp in fright, but thankfully, they didn¡¯t hear me.

    ¡°You know how foster kids here are. Like that girl Blanche? She¡¯s in Penelope¡¯s Health class. Like, oh-my-God, she¡¯s a literal stalker. Always staring at people, always so quiet. All of them are weird. They have their own little club and everything.¡±

    ¡°You have a point,¡± said Ivy, putting on lipstick. She popped her lips lightly. ¡°I heard that on the first day, she, like¡­ acted up or something in Biology. She¡­ freaked out. She does that a lot. Sometimes she even runs out of class.¡±

    ¡°She got some issues.¡±

    ¡°I hope so. That way they can throw her out and we don¡¯t have to deal with her.¡± Ivy put away her makeup.

    ¡°Do you have to hate on her so much? It¡¯s not like she knew.¡± The toilet next to me finally flushed, followed by the stall door opening. A girl with long, black hair that reached her thighs exited, joining the other girls.

    ¡°Well, she knows now,¡± said Ivy. ¡°You would get it if you knew Amy.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s creepy,¡± Lisa said, shuddering.

    Ivy hoisted her backpack higher on her shoulder. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± They walked out.

    I stayed in my stall for a few moments before unlocking it. Slowly, I crept out and stared at the door. The Ivy girl had left her makeup bag on the sink. Was it best to leave it here?

    The bell rang, urging me to leave. Just as I reached the door, the Ivy girl¡¯s face appeared in front of me.

    I stood paralyzed in place. She seemed equally startled, her brown eyes wide. My mouth flapped. Should I say something? No. I had to leave.

    Her gaze was covered by a sheen of ice so cold I shivered. I slowly circled around her towards the door, unable to look away. Her dark eyes remained on me until I finally stepped into the hallway. She reached for her makeup bag and also approached the door, giving me a little shove as she passed me. It woke me up from the trance, goosebumps breaking out.

    That was one of the coldest glares I¡¯d seen, and that was saying a lot.

 12~ First Session

    My afternoon reading was interrupted when I heard feet approaching me. I looked up, finding Thelma, Kate, Blanche, and Alma staring at me.

    I leaned back, a bit startled. ¡°Uh¡­ hi.¡± I stuck a bookmark in the pages and put the book down. ¡°How¡¯d you guys¡­?¡±

    ¡°W-we ran into each other in th-the hall,¡± said Kate.

    ¡°Oh. Okay. Um¡­ what¡¯re you doing here?¡±

    ¡°We, uh¡­¡± Thelma glanced at the others. ¡°We heard you found out.¡±

    Oh. I nodded. ¡°Right.¡±

    ¡°We w-were wondering if you wanted s-some comp-pany,¡± Kate said.

    Company? I¡¯d gotten used to being alone. The library was sort of like my sanctuary. But I couldn¡¯t say no, could I? Reluctantly, I agreed. ¡°Yeah, sure.¡±

    They sat in the sofas around me, setting their bags down. ¡°What are you reading?¡± Blanche pointed at the book on the table.

    ¡°Oh, just something I found.¡± I showed her the cover: ¡®Miracle¡¯.

    ¡°Ooh, I love that book! I read it in middle school.¡±

    ¡°Really? This is my first read.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s great. Did you get to the part where-¡±

    ¡°Shh- don¡¯t!¡± I held up my hand. ¡°Don¡¯t do that.¡±

    Blanche stopped, brows quirking. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re spoiling the book for her,¡± Alma said obviously, chuckling.

    ¡°Oh. Sorry.¡±

    ¡°She always does that. Last year, she spoiled Starrider Academy 2 for me.¡±

    ¡°No, she didn¡¯t!¡± Kate exclaimed. ¡°Are y-you serious?!¡±

    ¡°It was an accident!¡± Blanche defended.

    ¡°Guys, keep it down. We¡¯re in the library, not the cafeteria.¡± Thelma discreetly nodded at a group of students nearby, who glanced at us with annoyance from their study table.

    ¡°Right. Sorry.¡±

    Looking at the study group, I noticed them nudging each other and whispering, glancing at me a few times. I sighed and looked away.

    I could still hear them. ¡®Isn¡¯t she that ghost girl?¡¯ ¡®Oh, yeah, Amy¡¯s evil twin. She¡¯s so creepy.¡¯

    A hand waved over my eyes. I blinked, realizing I¡¯d fallen in a trance. ¡°You good?¡± Thelma asked.

    I looked back at the study group. They¡¯d returned to their books. ¡°Um¡­ yeah.¡±

    ¡°Thinking about everything?¡±

    ¡°Sort of.¡± I sighed. ¡°Honestly¡­ I don¡¯t know if I want to be here anymore.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Blanche asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m thinking of going to online school.¡±

    ¡°What? No!¡± Thelma reached over and took my hand. ¡°We can¡¯t be besties if we don¡¯t see each other!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m thinking about it. The reason I came to school was because I wanted to find out why people were staring at me all the time. And now I know. And I wish I didn¡¯t. Everyone sees me as this horrible person.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t really see you as horrible,¡± said Alma. ¡°They¡¯re just a little creeped out. I mean¡­ look at it our way.¡± She motioned to her and Blanche. ¡°We weren¡¯t super close to Amy or anything¡ª we maybe had a couple classes with her, but that¡¯s it. Amy was basically well-known because of her brothers being on the football team. They were always so¡­ chaotic. Made people laugh and gossip.¡± Alma chuckled, a bit nostalgic. ¡°Amy was really outgoing and sweet¡­ you know, really likeable. Then she told everyone she had cancer, and she left¡­ and she died.¡±

    ¡°Then you came with her brothers,¡± Blanche finished for her. ¡°Same eyes, same face¡­ same everything. So¡­ people were kind of scared to approach you. But they didn¡¯t necessarily think you were a horrible person. Like me. I didn¡¯t think that. It just freaked me out a bit.¡±

    Silence stretched out between us.

    ¡°It¡¯s like o-one of those urban l-legends, only true,¡± Kate said, shuddering.

    ¡°What about the brothers? Are you¡­ okay with them? Or no?¡± Thelma asked.

    ¡°Sort of¡­ with Harry, I¡¯m okay. Now that I know, I understand how hard it must¡¯ve been to confess something so¡­ personal. But with the others, we¡¯re not really talking much. And I¡¯m too angry with their parents to talk to them.¡± I put my head in my hands. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do. Part of me wants to move. But if I move, I don¡¯t-¡±

    ¡°Know where you¡¯ll end up,¡± Blanche finished for me.

    I stopped. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a gamble. And if you have a bad record, most likely, it¡¯ll go down the drain.¡± She scrunched up the hem of her shirt. ¡°I got lucky this time, considering.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the family¡¯s name again?¡± I asked, changing the subject. I really didn¡¯t want to talk about all the drama between me and the Fields anymore.

    ¡°The McCarthy¡¯s. Their son Stuart goes here; he¡¯s a freshman. And he¡¯s such a jerk.¡± She crossed her legs, sitting more comfortably. ¡°He¡¯s so arrogant. And he loves calling me stuff like ¡®smooth brain¡¯ or just ¡®stupid¡¯, stuff like that.¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you advanced in math?¡± Alma asked.

    ¡°Two years ahead.¡±

    ¡°Wow, cool. Why don¡¯t you use that against him?¡± said Thelma.

    ¡°Oh, I do. I win every argument. But he acts like a 2-year old and comes up with some stupid insult to feel like he won.¡±

    Thelma¡¯s phone rang with an alarm. ¡°AP Calculus class starts in 5 minutes.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s our cue to leave.¡± She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dismissed the alarm. We walked out of the library together. On the way, Thelma was suddenly shoved over, nearly falling when Kate caught her arm.

    ¡°Hey, watch it!¡± she said.

    ¡°You watch it.¡± A blonde turned, glaring at us. ¡°You bumped into me.¡± She gave Thelma a judging once-over and continued. Her friend turned her gaze on me.

    I stopped.

    Ivy.

    She kept her piercing gaze on us for a few more seconds before turning away. Blanche cursed at her under her breath, muttering angrily.

    ¡°Who is she?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Ivy Ebersole. She was Amy¡¯s best friend,¡± she explained. We continued walking. ¡°Since she died, homegirl¡¯s been hanging out with Lisa Preston¡¯s clique.¡±

    ¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t get why no one¡¯s talking about it,¡± Alma said. ¡°She¡¯s friends with the girl that made Amy¡¯s life hell. I remember they pranked her at Hannah Stinson¡¯s Halloween party. And they body-shamed her for a while¡ª before she announced her cancer. They said she did coke.¡±

    ¡°Wait, so¡­ Lisa? Is she the blonde?¡± I asked as the duo disappeared behind the corner.

    ¡°Yup.¡± Blanche glared in the direction the girls had gone in.

    ¡°And Ivy¡ª A-Amy¡¯s best friend¡ª is her f-friend now?¡± Kate asked.

    ¡°Ridiculous, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    Not ridiculous. Traitorous.

    ~~~

    September 27<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    My knees bounced as I waited outside the school psychologist¡¯s office, my backpack between my knees. I wasn¡¯t meeting with the school psychologist, though; he was lending my therapist his office for this single period.

    I¡¯d gone through a few therapists¡­ a couple were really sweet, a couple others were¡­ okay. Most of the time, my foster family wouldn¡¯t bother to send me to therapy, so I would just have my meds.

    One thing I learned was to not reveal everything all at once. My history was enough. If they reported anything too serious, it would risk me getting moved again, and right now, I wasn¡¯t 100% sure if I wanted to leave.

    A woman walked down the hall carrying books and a small Bluetooth radio. ¡°Miss Watson?¡±

    I stood, nodding. ¡°That¡¯s me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m Dr. Cawman.¡± She smiled, shaking my hand. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t get to come see you before.¡±

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°It¡¯s all good,¡± I said.

    She opened the office. ¡°Come in, please.¡±

    Inside, a desk was against the far wall, with two comfy-looking chairs sitting in front. Large bookshelves lined the side walls. A dim, blue lamp sat on the desk, the lampshade reading, ¡®Nice talking to you¡¯! The school psychologist¡¯s diploma was hung on the right wall.

    Dr. Cawman put her things on the desk, moving the psychologist¡¯s name plaque aside, which read: ¡®Shane Arbyman, Ed.S¡¯. ¡°Your social workers updated me on how you¡¯ve been doing with the Field family,¡± she began, both of us sitting down. ¡°This is your¡­¡± She opened a folder. ¡°23<sup>rd</sup> placement, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    She scrolled on her phone and turned on the radio. ¡°Would you like some music? I usually put on classical. Calms the mood.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure.¡±

    She played a Beethoven song and put down her phone. The melody tickled my ears, instantly relaxing me. I always loved classical music.

    ¡°How about you tell me your impression of the family?¡±

    ¡°Okay. Um¡­ well¡­ they were nice. Very nice to me,¡± I began. ¡°From the beginning, Susan and Davis were sweet. They gave me a room and clothes and stuff. I almost never get that kind of treatment, so I was happy, y¡¯know?¡± I looked down at my lap. ¡°But Susan told me their sons weren¡¯t that happy with fostering, so I expected them to be rude¡ª and surprise, surprise, they were.¡±

    I told her basically the entire story; being a maid for the first month or so, deciding to go to school, the ¡®look¡¯ everyone gave me. Sometimes she would take notes, and sometimes she would just nod or frown, reacting to everything I said.

    I was sure not to mention anything too serious, like the habits I¡¯d resumed, or the¡­ thoughts that sometimes occurred to me. There was enough of that in my file, for sure.

    Once I got to the whole thing about me and Amy, her expressions were more animated, but calm. She must¡¯ve been told the story, but hearing the full story was obviously different.

    I concluded with how our relationship was the past couple weeks; distant and quiet. Harry and I had grown a bit closer, but he was pretty into himself now that his brothers weren¡¯t talking to him. Even on the bus, Tommy wouldn¡¯t say a word to him.

    I also mentioned how everyone treated me so far, which was pretty much the same. I even mentioned Ivy, whom I¡¯d realized was in both my AP Literature class and my Computer Science class, to my absolute delight.

    She had been basically hiding from me in class, successfully avoiding my attention. But recently, she started to make her presence known with backhanded comments in class and writing insults in the margins of my notebooks¡ª how she did that, I had no idea.

    Dr. Cawman smiled. ¡°A lot has happened the past two months, huh?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± I sighed.

    ¡°So you¡¯re considering online school?¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm. But I¡¯m not sure yet. I have a Cooking class I can¡¯t take online, and I want to try out for track. And I guess I did make some friends. I think people started talking bad about them because of me, and¡­ I hate the thought of that.¡± I rubbed my nape.

    ¡°Well, if they¡¯re sticking with you, taking all of it for you, it means that you¡¯re so precious to them that they¡¯d never give you up as a friend. Obviously, you¡¯re easy to like.¡±

    I blushed, flattered. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    The bell rang, ending the school day. ¡°I lost track of time,¡± Dr. Cawman chuckled. ¡°It was a pleasure meeting you, Diana, and talking to you.¡± She stood, gathering her things.

    As we exited, she turned to me. ¡°Some advice¡ª while you have all these friends, make sure to spend time with them. Friends that loyal are a treasure. And¡­¡± She opened the door. ¡°Try to talk to your foster family. The best way to overcome what happened is if you communicate with them. If you¡¯re living with them, the most you can do is try to connect with them.¡±

    I took a moment to mull over her words. ¡°I¡¯ll try. Thank you, Dr. Cawman.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll see you next Wednesday, Diana.¡±

    I left the office, going out into the hallway. As expected, it was crowded. I kept my head and sleeves down as I joined the flow of students. My eyes focused on the front door when I turned into the main hall. Just a few more steps, and I was free.

    ¡°You know what I learned in Psychology today?¡± a girl declared loudly behind me.

    ¡°What?¡± The other girl sounded confused.

    ¡°We talked about a bunch of disorders, like bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia¡­¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t take Psychology-¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I do. Anyways, we learned about the symptoms, and there¡¯s this girl I know that shows a lot of signs of being¡­ you know.¡±

    I clenched my jaw, resisting the urge to turn around. I¡¯d kept a good streak of not confronting anyone in school so far. I wouldn¡¯t break that now.

    ¡°Oh, yeah. I think I know this girl. She¡¯s kind of weird. She has these crazy¡­ episodes in class, right?¡±

    ¡°Uh-huh. She really needs some professional help.¡±

    The patronizing tone nearly made me burst. I was just at the door. Just there.

    ¡°Maybe she should go to the school shrink.¡±

    ¡°Nah, she needs her own. He¡¯d take forever with her.¡±

    I went down the steps.

    ¡°True. Poor thing probably can¡¯t even function in society.¡±

    I whirled around, glaring at the two.

    It was Ivy and Lisa.

    They stopped, staring at me. Ivy¡¯s jaw trembled while Lisa raised a brow. ¡°Problem?¡±

    I glared at her. ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Have we met?¡± Her head cocked innocently.

    My teeth ground together. ¡°No, I don¡¯t think so.¡±

    ¡°I think we have.¡± She smiled. ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re in Ivy¡¯s class. She told us.¡± She stuck out her hand. ¡°Lisa Preston.¡±

    ¡°Hi,¡± I said flatly without taking it.

    She lowered it, her smile irritating me. ¡°And you are?¡±

    I inhaled deeply. ¡°Diana.¡±

    ¡°Nice name.¡± She smiled sweetly. ¡°You seemed a little¡­ upset just now. Anything wrong?¡±

    ¡°Well, I couldn¡¯t help overhearing your¡­ conversation,¡± I said sarcastically.

    ¡°Oh, yeah¡­ we were a little loud, weren¡¯t we?¡± She giggled and smiled at Ivy, who only smirked slightly. She kept her eyes lowered and her mouth shut. ¡°Did you have an opinion of your own about our discussion?¡± Lisa asked, raising her brows.

    Oh, come on, just punch her in the face already.

    No, just stand your ground. Show that you¡¯ll defend yourself.

    ¡°Well, yes. I honestly don¡¯t think you should judge¡­ this girl without actually knowing the cause of her¡­ ¡®episodes¡¯. You don¡¯t know what she¡¯s actually going through.¡± I imitated quotation marks with my fingers.

    She shrugged. ¡°Of course. But sometimes it¡¯s obvious.¡± Her fake, sweet tone made me nauseous. ¡°Some people are a bit¡­ problematic. At least¡­ that¡¯s what we discussed in Psychology. They like the attention, you know? They make up stuff so people can feel sorry for them. If it¡¯s actually real, well¡­ they really need help if they want to function in normal society.¡±

    Oh, my God, just slap her. She deserves it, doesn¡¯t she?

    You¡¯re doing great. Don¡¯t do anything unnecessary, please.

    ¡°Or maybe they¡¯ve just been through a lot in life. I¡¯m no shrink, but I do know that some people suffer a lot of trauma, and¡­ a-and they can be reminded of that trauma anytime. I just feel like you should be more sympathetic.¡±

    ¡°I agree.¡±

    My head snapped to my side, where Tony stood. He flashed a blinding smile. ¡°Excuse me, I couldn¡¯t help overhearing you. I agree with Diana.¡± He approached me, standing beside me. ¡°PTSD is a real thing. You can¡¯t make it up. If you¡¯re taking Psychology, you should know about this.¡± He weaved a bit of condescension into his tone.

    Lisa scoffed. ¡°It¡¯s introductory psychology.¡±

    ¡°Still, anyone would know if they just looked it up. That way they don¡¯t stay so ignorant and¡­¡± He whacked his forehead, making a ¡®V¡¯ sign with his fingers.

    Lisa frowned while Ivy secretly snickered behind her. ¡°What does that mean?¡±

    ¡°Look it up.¡± He looked at me and patted my shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t want to miss the bus.¡±

    I smiled at the girls. ¡°It was so nice meeting you.¡± I copied the sign Tony made as a goodbye and left. As we walked out of earshot, I whispered, ¡°What did that mean?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s ¡®stupid¡¯ in ASL.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I snorted, stopping near the bus. ¡°Thank you for that.¡±

    ¡°Actually, I was looking for you. We haven¡¯t really talked much outside of class. I tried texting you.¡±

    Guilt flooded me as I remembered the many unread texts from Tony, buried under the others¡¯. ¡°Oh, uh¡­ I¡¯m not on my phone that much,¡± I said. ¡°There¡¯s been a lot going on.¡±

    Which was true, but for some reason, I felt like I was lying. I was being honest. With everything going on, I didn¡¯t want to talk to anyone. But with Tony¡­

    He always made me feel better in class. Not that much better, but at least a little. I owed it to him to say ¡®hi¡¯ once in a while outside of school.

    I caught a flash of pity in his eyes. ¡°You¡¯re good, I get you. I just wanted to ask you something.¡±

    For some reason, my stomach twinged, tickling me right in the middle. ¡°Sure,¡± I said casually.

    ¡°I know it¡¯s a bit last-minute, but I¡¯m going to see a movie with some of my soccer team friends. They said I could invite someone, so¡­ would you like to come? We¡¯re going now. I have my car out there, so I could drive you.¡±

    My stomach was now bubbling and my palms moistened. What the heck was this? ¡°Uh¡­ yeah, sure! Um¡­ I¡¯ll just let Susan know.¡± I brought out my phone and texted her.

    I hadn¡¯t gone out with anyone before. It sounded¡­ well, exciting.

    Was this a good idea, though? People seeing me out with Tony? If we were in a group, maybe it was okay¡­

    Then again, I wasn¡¯t in a position to refuse any friends.

    ~~~

    Harry

    I stared out the window, waiting for Diana to arrive. Tommy was texting furiously next to me. Out of curiosity, I glanced at his screen. He was on FamiliarFaces, talking to Shirley.

    As I read their texts, it seemed like they were making up¡­ again.

    Oh, come on¡­ I unwittingly groaned, looking away. Tommy glanced at me. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I said back.

    ¡°You just groaned. Why?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°I dunno. I want to get home already.¡±

    He wordlessly returned to exchanging sickening ¡®I love you¡¯s¡¯ and other sweet words with Shirley.

    Mildred boarded the bus, sitting in her usual spot. She looked at me and gave me a wave. I smiled and waved back. She was the only one really talking to me now that my brothers didn¡¯t.

    My phone buzzed with a message. Diana: Hey, Harry. Tony just invited me to go with his friends to the movies. I asked Susan permission and she gave me until 5pm today. So I won¡¯t be on the bus.

    Tony¡­ Oh, yeah. The guy in her Biology class.

    I didn¡¯t know him that well. Maybe I¡¯d seen him once or twice¡­ oh, well. Mom gave her permission, so there was nothing I could do.

    Me: Sure, who else is going w u?

    Diana: A senior named Randy.

    And a couple of girls from our grade.

    Okay, there were other girls. Good sign.

    What movie is it?

    Sora.

    A rush of sadness rose up my throat. Amy loved that anime¡­ she was so excited when she heard it was getting a movie¡­

    I pushed down the tears. Ok have fun!

    Thanks!

    I glanced at the door. The bus was nearly full, so we would be leaving soon. If I could just take a peek¡­

    Tommy frowned up at me as I stood. ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°I just need to see something.¡±

    He rolled his eyes and made room for me. I went for the door, but then paused and looked through Mildred¡¯s window. It had a perfect view of the school courtyard. ¡°Uh, Mildred, could I look in here a sec?¡± I knelt on the seat next to her and leaned over to look outside.

    She pressed herself onto the seat. ¡°What the¡­ Harry, what are you doing?¡± she asked.

    I finally spotted Diana among the students, talking to who I recognized as Tony. They were walking to the parking lot.

    Diana¡­ she was smiling.

    I¡¯d seen her smile before, but she was really smiling¡ª like Amy. I¡¯d never seen her that happy. Despite her resemblance to our sister, she smiled a bit different¡­ I wasn¡¯t sure how. There was something.

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Tony, right?¡± Mildred said. ¡°I think I¡¯ve seen him before.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s him.¡±

    ¡°I think she has a thing for him.¡±

    My gaze snapped to her. ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just guessing. She¡¯s talked about him more than anyone.¡±

    I watched them conversing. Diana started to laugh, even doubling over a bit. If he could make her smile and laugh¡­

    ¡°Wow. I¡¯ve never seen her laugh like that before,¡± Mildred echoed my thoughts. ¡°She really likes him.¡±

    I sighed inwardly. The thought of her liking this guy still kind of bothered me.

    Then again, that was how it started with Rick and Amy.

    ¡°Thanks for letting me borrow your window,¡± I told Mildred as I eased myself out. My hand pressed against the wall for balance, but slipped.

    She groaned when my weight momentarily smashed onto her. I winced, my face heating up to 200 degrees as I quickly got up. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sorry!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± She gasped and chuckled. ¡°You¡¯re a bit heavy. Is that from football practice or all the cheeseburgers?¡±

    I laughed. ¡°Little bit of both.¡± I stood up and straightened my shirt. ¡°Sorry about that.¡±

    ¡°No problem.¡±

    I paused, noticing her eyes. They were really pretty, a nice chestnut color.

    ¡°Everyone sit down.¡± The bus driver entered. I rushed over to my seat. Tommy ignored me, his eyes on his phone.

    I missed talking to him. I missed when our family used to¡­ talk. Recently, we started fighting less, and getting along. Amy was so happy.

    But now we were a house divided against itself. Breaking into pieces and collapsing.

    I just wished it could be different¡­ why did it have to be this way? All this pain, all this resentment, all this tension? I felt like a stranger in my own house. It didn¡¯t feel like a home anymore. Right now, I was supposed to be talking to Tommy, badmouthing Lucas Flynn and debating over who flossed better.

    Instead, I was stuck looking out the window, saying nothing.

 13~ Friends and Foes

    ¡°Taking my time on my ride¡­ taking my time on my ride¡­ oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-¡±

    The song cut off as Tony¡¯s phone started ringing. His hand blindly fished for his ringing phone, disconnecting the Bluetooth to answer. ¡°Hello?¡± A pause. ¡°Oh, hey, Dad.¡± His eyes remained on the road, but his eyebrows knitted. ¡°Uh, I¡¯m actually going somewhere right now.¡±

    He tried to hold his phone with his shoulder as he stopped at a red light. I reached over and held the phone to his ear so he could drive properly. He thanked me with a glancing smile.

    ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll drop her off at home.¡± A few beats. ¡°Okay. Bye, Dad.¡± He nodded at me to put the phone down.

    I did so. ¡°What happened?¡± I asked him.

    ¡°My dad usually picks up my sister at the deaf-blind school, but he¡¯s getting out late, so he asked me to pick her up.¡± He put the song back on Bluetooth. The light turned green and he turned left. ¡°So we¡¯re going to drop her off at my house, then go to the movie. We won¡¯t be late.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s okay.¡±

    ¡°Could you grab my phone again? Go to the ¡®Soccer¡¯ group chat so I can send them a voice.¡±

    I followed his instructions and held the phone up so he could inform his friends. ¡°So your sister goes to a deaf-blind school?¡± I asked when he was done.

    ¡°It¡¯s an after-school program. She goes to the public school, then she goes to the Center for Deaf and Blind Children to wait for Dad. She learns more sign language there.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s nice. What¡¯s her name again?¡±

    ¡°Addie. Well, Adeline, but we call her Addie. Like my name is Anthony, but I prefer Tony.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Anthony.¡± I smiled teasingly. ¡°I like Anthony.¡±

    ¡°I like it, too, but Tony¡¯s simpler.¡±

    ¡°And Adeline. Beautiful name.¡±

    We arrived at the Center two minutes later. Cars were parked in the lot, with parents getting out to collect their children. ¡°This¡¯ll be a nice surprise for her,¡± Tony said as he parked.

    He got out of the car. I followed and looked at the many children running around playing. I noticed a little boy pushing a girl in a wheelchair. The girl wore blacked-out glasses, laughing hysterically. The two chased another girl, who ran in circles, giggling. I smiled at the scene.

    ¡°There she is.¡±

    A little girl resembling Tony ran out of the building with a pink backpack. She laughed as she played tag with another girl. Her friend signed something to her and waved, running to her father in another car.

    She looked around, spotting us. Her little face brightened like a lamp and she ran like a bullet to her older brother.

    ¡°Tony!¡± she shouted, her voice ringing out in a high tone. She ran into Tony¡¯s arms. He chuckled as he picked her up and hugged her tight. My cheeks were aching from so much smiling.

    He put her down and she looked over at me. With a questioning look, she signed something to him¡ª presumably asking who I was. Tony led her by the hand over to me. I smiled down at her, hoping to give a good impression.

    ¡°Addie, this is my friend Diana.¡± He spelled out my name with his hand. ¡°She goes to school with me.¡±

    The little girl beamed at me and waved. She signed something.

    ¡°She says, ¡®Hi, Diana, nice to meet you¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Nice to meet you, too,¡± I said.

    Tony came up to me and showed me his hands. ¡°Nice¡­¡± He wiped his right hand over his left palm. I copied him.

    ¡°To meet¡­ you.¡± He showed me the other signs. I repeated them to the best of my ability.

    She signed something again with question. ¡°Are you taking ASL?¡± he asked.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m taking Spanish,¡± I said sheepishly.

    He translated my words. Adeline nodded, shrugging. She then asked another question, which apparently embarrassed Tony, since he instantly turned red as a tomato. He responded without saying anything aloud.

    She continued signing insistently. Tony reached down and pinched her nose, then messed up her hair. She giggled and poked his nose.

    They really loved each other. I didn¡¯t see much of that with the Fields. Even though Harry and I were getting along, we were nothing like Tony and Addie.

    It seemed nice. Having real siblings.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Tony looked at me with concern.

    ¡°Uh, yeah, I¡¯m okay.¡± I smiled, this time forcibly.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go. We don¡¯t want to be late for that movie.¡± We went back into the car. Addie bounced on the backseat and patted her seat, insistently motioning to me.

    ¡°You mind sitting with her?¡±

    ¡°¡®Course not.¡± I happily obliged and slid in next to her. She beamed with joy. Tony started the car and we pulled out of the parking lot.

    Addie took her phone out of her pocket and texted something. She then gave it to me, showing me a message: ¡°Are you and Tony besties?¡±

    I smiled, a bit relieved. I wished I knew sign language. ¡°Yeah, I guess you could say that,¡± I responded.

    ¡°I love your name! You¡¯re really pretty, too!¡±

    ¡°Aww, thank you!¡±

    ¡°What are you doing together?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re going to watch a movie.¡±

    She seemed particularly excited at that, texting enthusiastically. ¡°Like a date?¡±

    What the-

    I looked up at Tony, a bit panicked. His eyes remained on the road. I calmly replied, ¡°No, we¡¯re going out with a few of his other friends.¡±

    Addie seemed a bit disappointed. ¡°Oh, okay. You know, he talks about you.¡±

    My heart quickened and my stomach rippled. ¡°He does?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, he says you¡¯re really fun. I¡¯ve always wanted to meet you! You sound so cool!¡±

    I chuckled. ¡°Thank you! You¡¯re really cool, too! Tony¡¯s told me about you in class.¡±

    ¡°Getting along well?¡± he asked from the front seat.

    ¡°Yup, very well.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re using her phone, right?¡±

    ¡°Right.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she loves showing off her phone at school. Don¡¯t tell her this, but that phone¡¯s under a ¡®kids¡¯ program. The apps she has there are limited. She thinks it¡¯s a real, adult phone.¡±

    ¡°Gotcha.¡±

    She gave me the phone back. ¡°He was kinda scared that he wasn¡¯t going to have friends at school because we moved here. But he¡¯s really happy there! He really likes you. I was scared, too, but the kids in my class are really nice. I like it better in the center, though. I always have to use my phone at school because no one talks sign there.¡±

    He really liked me?

    She took the phone back and wrote another question. ¡°What were you talking about?¡±

    ¡°He was just asking if we were getting along.¡±

    We arrived at Tony¡¯s house. It was a one-floor house of yellow wood with a gray roof. Tony stopped in front. ¡°I¡¯ll be back around 5,¡± he said, his hands moving fluidly. ¡°In the meantime, you do your homework, okay? Don¡¯t stall.¡±

    The girl groaned and replied.

    ¡°No, homework first.¡± Tony gently pushed her towards the house. ¡°Mom¡¯s the one who¡¯ll ground you, not me. So you do your best, okay?¡±

    She nodded. She hugged him and signed to me, waving. I waved back and watched her run inside.

    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°Your sister is so nice.¡± I got into the passenger seat.

    ¡°Thanks. She really liked you.¡±

    ¡°I noticed. She, uh¡­ said you told her about me.¡±

    We pulled away from the house. He blushed and chuckled lightly. ¡°Yeah, a bit. You¡¯re a very interesting person, so¡­ lots of stories.¡±

    ¡°But we only talk in Biology.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s enough.¡± He glanced at me. ¡°You¡¯re a fun person, Diana.¡±

    My stomach flipped and heat rushed to my cheeks. ¡°Thank you, Tony.¡±

    He briefly checked the time on his phone. ¡°Okay, we¡¯re on time. I hope you like the movie.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve never really watched anime, so this¡¯ll be a first.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± His brows raised. ¡°You should watch the Sora series. It¡¯s really good.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s on TV?¡±

    ¡°No, FilmX. You have that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡±

    ¡°You can use my account. It¡¯ll help you understand the film a bit more.¡±

    ¡°Sounds cool.¡±

    He glanced at me again with a smile. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re coming with us.¡±

    I gazed at him. His eyes strictly stayed on the road, but a calm, sweet smile graced his handsome features. For a while, I couldn¡¯t move.

    He was glad I was coming. He was glad¡­ to be with me. And to be honest¡­ I was glad to be with him.

    ~~~

    Harry

    Loud groans and yells rang out through the living room. Tommy¡¯s elbow knocked right into my bucket of popcorn, sending the buttery kernels flying.

    ¡°Agh! Tommy!¡± I bent over to pick them up.

    ¡°Sorry.¡±

    The commercials came on as the football game paused. Some of us got up to stretch and pop our knuckles from sitting down so long.

    ¡°They were so close! Come on!¡± Lucas stood from the sofa chair. ¡°You got any beer?¡±

    ¡°No beer,¡± Kyle said.

    ¡°Come on, it¡¯s not like your parents are here.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not doing this again. I almost got arrested because of you.¡±

    Lucas laughed with the others. ¡°That was two years ago!¡±

    ¡°Just get some soda.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll get some Fizz. I¡¯m the adult here.¡± Sam nudged Kyle and went to the kitchen with Lucas.

    ¡°What time do your parents get back?¡± Hector asked.

    ¡°In an hour. They had a late meeting again,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°I thought they had a lighter schedule.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well, lockdown¡¯s over,¡± he remarked bitterly. There was an awkward pause.

    ¡°How¡¯ve you been holding up?¡± Eddie asked us.

    We all shifted, glancing at each other. ¡°Okay,¡± Tommy said.

    ¡°Now that she knows, are you¡­ I don¡¯t know. Better? Worse?¡±

    ¡°What do you think?¡± I asked dryly.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. That¡¯s why I¡¯m asking.¡±

    Tommy shrugged. ¡°As good as anyone can be in this situation.¡± He grabbed my popcorn and ate a handful. I snatched it back.

    ¡°What about you, Rick?¡± Hector nodded at our best friend sitting on the floor next to me.

    He only glared at him, downing the rest of his soda. ¡°I could use some beer.¡± He stood.

    ¡°Rick, no, no beer. Please.¡± Desperation crept into Kyle¡¯s voice. ¡°I promised Mom.¡±

    ¡°Why do we have to talk about this?¡± Rick demanded.

    ¡°Because Diana¡¯s coming back, and we¡¯ll have to face it anyway,¡± Jack pointed out.

    Rick only groaned and grabbed his empty bottle of soda. ¡°I don¡¯t have to see her. I don¡¯t want to look at her.¡±

    ¡°Well, neither do we, and we have to see her every day. You¡¯ll have to face her eventually.¡±

    ¡°Whatever.¡± He went to the kitchen.

    ¡°She¡¯s taking a while to come back, now that you mentioned it.¡± I checked the time. 4:53.

    ¡°If Mom said until 5, she has until 5,¡± said Jack.

    I looked at him. ¡°Since when?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°For you, ¡®come back at 5¡¯ meant ¡®come back at 3¡¯. You¡¯re still like that with me and Tommy.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well, now I¡¯m not.¡± He threw some popcorn into his mouth, crunching it between his teeth.

    4:53 turned into 4:54. I decided to text her on GoodNews. Hey hows it going over there? Is the movie over?

    ¡°Game¡¯s on! What¡¯s taking y¡¯all so long?¡± Kyle called.

    Sam and Lucas soon returned with more bags of potato chips and two sodas in hand. Lucas looked disgruntled while Sam was amused. ¡°They better make it this time,¡± Lucas grumbled. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m wasting my time with this game.¡±

    ¡°It might turn around.¡±

    4:55. She still wasn¡¯t here. She hadn¡¯t responded, either. Was she seriously waiting until exactly 5:00 to get here?

    The game went on. More popcorn flew. More yells erupted.

    4:56. 4:57. 4:58.

    Movement outside the window caught my eye. I stood, carrying my popcorn with me, and peeked through the curtain. Diana rounded a white sedan from the passenger seat. Tony got out of the driver¡¯s.

    ¡°She¡¯s here,¡± I announced.

    ¡°Oh, joy,¡± Tommy sarcastically remarked.

    ¡°I¡¯m actually kind of curious. I mean, I¡¯ve seen the pictures, but¡­ in person should be kind of different.¡± Sam got up and wiped popcorn off his pants.

    ¡°Yeah, me too. Is she nice, at least?¡± Eddie asked.

    Jack shrugged, his eyes never leaving the TV screen. ¡°Yeah, I guess.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s my cue to leave.¡± Rick stood.

    Lucas reached out, stopping him by the shoulder. ¡°No, come on, Thatcher. Give the ghost girl some slack.¡±

    ¡°Get off me, Flynn.¡± He brushed his hand off.

    ¡°Come on, it¡¯ll be interesting. You¡¯ll have to talk to her if you keep coming over here.¡± Lucas stood in his way.

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Guys, shut up. I¡¯m trying to watch the game. The game you guys came over to watch.¡± Jack frowned at them.

    ¡°Lucas, let him go,¡± Kyle sighed.

    ¡°I just want to see what happens. We¡¯re delaying the inevitable.¡± Lucas¡¯s lips curved into that irritating smile again. That smile I always wanted to punch but never got to.

    ¡°Get out of my way.¡± Rick¡¯s eyes burned and his fists clenched.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be fighting when she comes in-¡± Hector was interrupted by the door.

    All eyes turned to Diana.

    ~~~

    Diana

    ¡°I¡¯ll definitely look up the series. It was good.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you liked it. You¡¯re telling the truth, right? You honestly liked the movie?¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡±

    We turned onto the Fields¡¯ street. Their robin¡¯s egg blue house rushed up toward us. There were a couple cars in the driveway I didn¡¯t recognize.

    ¡°Want me to walk you up?¡± Tony asked.

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    He parked in front of the house. I got out of the passenger seat and rounded the car. We walked up to the porch together.

    This was honestly the best day I¡¯d ever had. Tony¡¯s friends were wonderful. They were all so nice to me, and they even treated me to some ice cream. Even though they were a little put off at first, they seemed to grow more comfortable with me once we started talking.

    And Tony was so funny and charismatic. There was just¡­ something about him that I really liked. I didn¡¯t know what. He made me feel comfortable and happy.

    ¡°Thanks again for inviting me. I had a great time,¡± I said.

    ¡°Hey, it¡¯s no problem. You can hang out with us anytime. They¡¯re all really cool people.¡±

    ¡°They are! And funny.¡± We stopped at the front door. I could hear the boys shouting inside; probably watching the game.

    ¡°Sounds like a party,¡± Tony chuckled.

    ¡°Apparently.¡± I bit my lip, awkwardly shifting on my feet. ¡°Um¡­ thanks, Tony. It was so much fun. Uh¡­ say hi to your sister for me. I wish I knew sign.¡±

    ¡°You could learn it.¡±

    ¡°Two languages are a lot for my schedule.¡±

    He shrugged. ¡°Well, if you lose interest in Spanish¡­¡±

    I blinked. ¡°I can change it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. You didn¡¯t know?¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°No¡­ I just took Spanish because I wanted a language. Not that it¡¯s not a beautiful language, but¡­ it¡¯s pretty difficult.¡±

    ¡°If you want to change it, you can just go to the office and tell them.¡± He started back to his car. ¡°I, uh¡­ I should go before I end up staying out past curfew.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± I smiled. ¡°I¡¯ll see you, Tony.¡±

    ¡°Remember to do your Familiar account.¡± He waved and got back in his car. I watched as his white sedan grew smaller in the distance, disappearing around the corner. With a giddy giggle, I turned to the door and used my key to get in.

    Inside was a rather¡­ unexpected sight.

    Nine pairs of eyes were suddenly on me. I froze on the spot, looking around at the strangers. Three of them gave me the ¡®look¡¯ as they regarded me.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± I closed the door.

    ¡°Um, hey, Diana.¡± Harry came up to me and took my backpack as I shrugged it off. ¡°You were cutting it close.¡± He showed his phone clock; 4:58.

    I gave him a look. ¡°I¡¯m here. So¡­ who¡¯re your friends?¡± One boy in particular gazed at me with an off-putting smile. I immediately felt uncomfortable looking at him.

    ¡°Right. Um, Diana, these are Sam, Hector, and Eddie from college.¡± Kyle motioned to the three gawkers behind him.

    One of them cleared his throat and stepped forward. He was a bit taller than Kyle, towering over me. ¡°Nice to meet you.¡± He shook my hand, his dark skin contrasting with mine.

    ¡°I¡¯m Hector.¡± The heavyset guy with spiky black hair and thick eyebrows shook my hand next. ¡°And that¡¯s Eddie.¡± He pointed to the third one, who awkwardly waved from the living room. He was a bit shorter than Tommy, almost my height, and had shoulder-length brown hair.

    ¡°And I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ve seen Lucas and Rick at school.¡± Harry jerked his head at the other two.

    The creepy guy kept his unnerving smile on his face as he approached me and shook my hand. ¡°About time we finally met.¡±

    I gently snatched my hand away. This only made him smile more. He was literally giving me goosebumps. I did not like him at all.

    Rick, on the other hand, was more familiar. I couldn¡¯t remember where I¡¯d seen him¡­

    His eyes were familiar. Hazel eyes.

    He stood farther away from me, his arms crossed over his chest. He greeted me with a curt nod, not saying anything. ¡°I¡¯m going to the bathroom.¡± He left, leaving everyone staring after him.

    ¡°So¡­¡± Sam swung his arms back and forth. ¡°Diana. Um¡­ how long are you staying here?¡±

    ¡°Just a few months.¡± I stared in the direction Rick had gone.

    ¡°I heard you were planning on joining the track team,¡± said Lucas. ¡°That true?¡±

    ¡°Who said?¡±

    ¡°Heard it through the grapevine.¡± He looked at Harry.

    Ah. Well, that wasn¡¯t a big deal. ¡°Okay. Yeah, I thought about it. So?¡±

    ¡°Thought you should know I¡¯m trying out, too. For the men¡¯s team.¡± He smirked. ¡°It¡¯ll be nice to have someone you know at tryouts, right? Rick¡¯s trying out, too.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know that.¡± Tommy frowned at him suspiciously.

    ¡°What? Rick didn¡¯t tell you?¡±

    ¡°He said he was trying out, not that you¡¯re trying out.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah.¡± Lucas shrugged. ¡°I just thought it¡¯d be cool.¡±

    ¡°Since when do you do track?¡± Harry asked. ¡°That¡¯s two seasons in a row, with football.¡±

    ¡°I like a good challenge.¡±

    Rick returned from the bathroom with his phone in hand. ¡°Sorry, guys, I gotta go. My, uh¡­ dad wants me to run some errands. I¡¯ll see you tomorrow.¡± He beelined past me to the door.

    ¡°So fast?¡± Lucas smiled widely.

    ¡°Yeah, it suddenly came up.¡±

    ¡°Hey, did you know Diana was trying out for track, too?¡±

    He stopped, looking at him. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Tommy and Harry didn¡¯t mention it to you?¡±

    He stood frozen, his reaction delayed. ¡°No¡­¡± He looked at Tommy, his eyes blazing. ¡°No. They didn¡¯t.¡± He turned his gaze onto Harry, who avoided it.

    ¡°Now you know. Isn¡¯t it great? We can all help each other out at tryouts.¡± Lucas¡¯s grin nauseated me.

    ¡°Awesome.¡± Rick¡¯s eyes flickered to mine. I knew those eyes. Where had I seen them?

    ¡°A-actually¡­¡± My voice stuck in my throat. ¡°Um¡­ I might not try out.¡±

    ¡°Aw. Why not?¡± Lucas approached me again.

    ¡°I¡¯m thinking of going to online school.¡±

    His brows raised. ¡°You are?¡±

    ¡°You are?¡± Harry frowned at me. His brothers all looked at me with question.

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, I¡­ I might. Um¡­ I don¡¯t know yet, though.¡±

    A few heartbeats of silence passed. ¡°I gotta go.¡± Rick hastily made his way out. ¡°Bye, guys.¡±

    Harry gently pushed the door closed. ¡°See you, Rick.¡±

    I swallowed. I didn¡¯t know what to feel; it felt like there was a boa constrictor wrapped around me, tightening around my throat, leaving just an inch of space for air to pass through.

    Lucas was still grinning at me. He was creepier than a spider crawling up my arm.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got¡­ homework to do. Nice meeting you all.¡± I went to the stairs. Hearing footsteps behind me, I saw Harry following me. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Nothing. Just¡­ how was it? With Tony?¡± he asked. The brothers seemed to hear this, turning to listen.

    ¡°Um¡­ it was great. The movie was great. His friends were really nice and fun. After the movie, we went out for dinner and ice cream.¡±

    ¡°That sounds fun.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Randy gave me some advice for the track tryouts. And Kansas gave me tips to make the Cooking teacher like me more.¡±

    Harry chuckled. ¡°Yeah, the Cookie Monster.¡±

    I quirked a brow. ¡°You guys actually call her that?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s stupid, I know. Did you take any pictures?¡±

    I took out my phone and showed him a selfie we took. He smiled. ¡°I¡¯m glad you had a good time.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Harry.¡± I turned, going upstairs. That Lucas guy was still looking at me. There was something about him that really set me on edge. I didn¡¯t know what it was, but¡­

    The look in his eyes¡­ it was familiar. Painfully familiar.

 14~ Diary of a Foster Kid

    I didn¡¯t want to let the boys ruin my good mood today. So I pushed that creep, and Rick, and their other friends out of my mind, locking myself in my room.

    Thanks to Tony, I decided to download FamiliarFaces now. I hadn¡¯t used it in years, but now that I had friends, maybe it was best. Most people at Summit High used it.

    After putting in all my information, the app said: Enter your username. Do not use your full name or any sensitive information.

    Hmm¡­ what kind of username would be good? I remembered my old one from years ago, but it probably wasn¡¯t a good idea. I didn¡¯t want the ghosts of my past finding me.

    I glanced at the sunflower bracelet I was wearing. Susan gave it to me before I started school.

    I typed in ¡®Sunflower¡¯.

    Username taken.

    ¡®Sunflowergirl¡¯

    Username taken.

    It wasn¡¯t until the tenth try that the app suggested ¡®Sunflowergirl3482¡¯. Okay, then.

    Your account has been created!

    One by one, I searched the group¡¯s usernames¡ª which I¡¯d written down on a napkin¡ª and added them as friends. Reluctantly, I also added my foster brothers. There was no point in leaving them out.

    A message suddenly came up from one of my new friends. I smiled excitedly and opened it. Blenderr (Kansas Tomali): Who is this?

    I quickly texted back. Sunflowergirl3482 (Diana Watson): It¡¯s me, Diana. Thanks for the great time today!

    Blenderr: Oh yea Tonys gf. Its np, it was fun

    I blushed. Oh, I¡¯m not his girlfriend, I said with a nervous laughter emoji.

    Really?

    No, we¡¯re just friends.

    I thought u guys were together. Hes always talking about u

    My stomach jumped. He does? I asked.

    Yea I think he likes u. and from the way u guys seemed so close, I thought u were a couple. We all did.

    Goosebumps erupted and my heart raced. I stopped. Was I having another panic attack? It didn¡¯t feel like one, though¡­ it was like¡­ I was excited.

    I guess we¡¯re just really close, then, I responded.

    Hes a good catch tho, Kansas said. U should try and see.

    Has he said he has a girlfriend? I hesitantly wrote.

    No i just assummed. Maybe u could b his gf for reel, she said with a laughter emoji.

    I swallowed. Well, I¡¯m not looking to date anyone just yet¡­

    If ur leaving in 6 mo like u said, might as well

    Wait¡­ what was I thinking?! Being someone¡¯s girlfriend? No! I jumped off that ship long ago. How could I even consider trying it again?!

    Another message popped up, covering my chat with Kansas. Wtfrulookingat (Kyra Harrison): Hi

    My thumbs texted back excitedly. Hi! This is Diana.

    Ik I see ur name here, she said.

    Thanks for the good time, I said.

    Yw. It was fun finally meeting tonys gf hahaha

    There it was again. Did they all think we were a couple? Oh, no, we¡¯re just friends.

    Really? She sent a confused emoji. Wow. U guys would b cute together.

    I bit my lip, stress tensing my shoulders.

    Do u think hes cute? she then asked.

    I hesitated. He was obviously cute. Yeah, sure. I don¡¯t see why I shouldn¡¯t think so.

    U know he likes u rite

    My stomach fell out of my butt. Kansas said that, too.

    Yea he was so excited when he invited u, she continued. He was all like OMG i like her a lot shes pretty and fun

    My heart raced and my stomach tingled. Was this good or bad? What was I supposed to do? Was this a good thing?

    ¡°No, not now¡­¡± I tried to breathe steadily as Kyra continued texting. U want me to talk to him for u? I can tell u like him haha

    ¡°Breathe¡­¡± I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth. No, it¡¯s okay. We¡¯re just friends for now, Kyra. Don¡¯t say anything, okay?

    Ok sure. She sent a winking emoji. He really likes u tho.

    What does he say? I texted.

    Oh that ur pretty, and that he feels bad that ur in foster care and stuff, and he hopes u stay here forever, stuff like that.

    Are you serious?

    Yup

    Was this true? If it was¡­ what would I do? Should I text him? Ask him?

    It had to be a mask. A farse. Another way to trick me. There was no way he liked me. Not like that.

    Another ping interrupted my thoughts. I didn¡¯t know how long I¡¯d just been sitting here. _yrubimon (Randy Bigg): hi diana

    Hi, Randy! I said.

    The text bubble appeared for a few moments before a voice recording was sent. I didn¡¯t even know I could do that. Here I was taking forever to text¡­

    ¡°Hey, so¡­ I just want to say I¡¯m sorry. I swear, I didn¡¯t know they were going to take it this far. Um¡­ the team wanted to just do a little joke on you and Tony. Mostly to Tony. But it was supposed to be something, you know, not a big deal. So¡­ I¡¯m really sorry.¡±

    As the audio concluded, a whole bunch of screenshots were sent to me. I tapped on one of them.

    It was the ¡®Soccer¡¯ group chat Tony was in. I recognized Kansas and Kyra¡¯s usernames. Kyra had sent a picture to the group.

    I could feel the color draining from my face.

    She had shared screenshots of our chat about Tony.

    tarataratara: OMG i knew it!!!

    Wtfrulookingat: he still hasnt answered hahaha

    Blenderr: idk if hell laugh tho ¡ªnervous laughing emoji¡ª I think he actually wants to b friends

    sea_bass_tian: its a joke it should b fine

    I closed my eyes. In the back of my mind, that voice repeated itself: I told you so. I told you so. Nagging me, torturing me, over and over¡­

    They were all so nice to me! Why would they¡­

    Thisisscott: noooo bruh hahaha

    hellena: hey Layla u lost the bet hehe

    laylitalots: aw come onnn

    sea_bass_tian: he doesnt actualy like her tho rite? Shes such an annoying b¡ªh

    Wtfrulookingat: Nah he never said that. But hes so prince charming its annoying. Maybe he does.

    Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Well, in my case, it was the 30<sup>th</sup> time.

    Blenderr: omg theres no way. Shes SO annoying and creepy. it was literal charity work being w her

    Coach loves her just bc she runs fast

    laylitalots: ghost foster girl is crazy af.

    tarataratara: Tonys too much of a nice guy. Hes not gonna take this as a joke lol

    Tony wouldn¡¯t talk to me after this. It was my fault they were pranking him. I lost him.

    I angrily blocked everyone except Randy and threw my phone to the wall. It banged on my closet door and fell on the carpet, the sturdy cover preventing it from breaking.

    I didn¡¯t understand why everyone in the world hated me so much. Was I a horrible person without knowing it? Why was it everyone¡¯s goal to torture me in every way, shape, or form?

    I reminded myself over and over again that this was nothing compared to so many things people did to me. Nothing compared to when girls dumped trash over my head every day in Brimstone. Nothing compared to when those kids tied me to a chair and terrorized me to ¡®initiate¡¯ me. Nothing compared to the bucket of water that almost killed me.

    But it still hurt.

    I was sick of it. There was nowhere I could go. It didn¡¯t matter where I went. It didn¡¯t matter if the family treated me nicely and provided me the bare necessities I was entitled to. Something was always there to ruin everything.

    I threw my chair on the floor. I grabbed my pillows and punched them repeatedly, throwing them around my room.

    Not enough.

    Not¡­ enough.

    My eyes snapped to my desk drawer.

    I felt like I wasn¡¯t in control. It was like slow motion, yet it happened so fast. I blinked, and the scissors were suddenly in my hand.

    There was a knocking noise echoing in my ears, over and over again. I kept staring at the glinting blades, which I¡¯d scrubbed so hard the last time so no one would see the red left behind.

    Maybe I deserved this. Maybe I just made everyone miserable. I ruined lives. It was always my fault. My fault. Always my fault.

    The knocking wouldn¡¯t stop. Boom, boom, boom¡­ creak.

    Creak?

    ¡°Diana, what are you doing?!¡±

    I nearly screamed, jumping as I turned. I was seated on the edge of my bed. At the door was Tommy, staring at me with a pale face.

    ¡°Wh-what are you doing?¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± I looked down at my wrists, which now burned fiercely. When did I¡­?

    I looked at the stained scissors. Red. Red all over.

    ¡°Here.¡± Tommy knelt in front of me. He now held bandages and a bottle of first-aid alcohol. A first-aid kit was placed next to me.

    ¡°Wha¡­ when did you get those?¡± I looked to the door, which was closed.

    ¡°Just now. I went to the bathroom.¡± He took the alcohol and poured a bit on some cotton. He glanced up at me. ¡°Um¡­ this is gonna sting.¡±

    I only stared at him, barely processing what he said. How did I even¡­

    I was fully brought out of my haze when the fire intensified on my right arm. I gasped, pulling my hand back, but Tommy held it tightly, albeit gently. ¡°Just give me a minute, I need to clean it.¡±

    Tears pricked at my eyes. I squeezed them shut, my other hand clutching the hem of my shirt. Something cold then pressed against my arm, soothing the burn.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Tommy then applied petroleum jelly over my cuts and wrapped a large dressing pad around my forearm. The entire time, I could only stare.

    He was never, ever this¡­ concerned. All I ever saw from him were glares, frowns, and eye rolls. All I ever heard were insults and nicknames. Harry was the only one out of the brothers who showed minimal kindness.

    He reached for my other arm, which I quickly pulled away. ¡°Diana, I need to clean those, too. It¡¯ll just take a moment, I promise,¡± he said.

    I narrowed my eyes. I wasn¡¯t trusting him. It was too¡­

    ¡°Please.¡± Desperation cut through his voice, cutting right into my heart.

    His eyes¡­ they weren¡¯t cold. They were¡­

    Heartbreaking.

    Swallowing the lump in my throat, I gave him my arm. He applied the same treatment, carefully cleaning and dressing the wound. When he was done, he put away the other tools and stood. ¡°You should change. Your clothes got a bit stained.¡± He left to return the first-aid kit.

    I looked down at my outfit in shock. How long had I¡­?

    My clock read 7:30.

    Tommy later knocked, when I was dressed in my PJ¡¯s. ¡°Can I come in?¡±

    ¡°Uh, yeah.¡±

    He entered, this time carrying a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. ¡°I thought maybe you wanted a snack?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ thanks.¡±

    He set them down on the side table. Realizing I was actually hungry, I nibbled on the chocolate treats and sipped the drink. I felt the bed dip with Tommy¡¯s weight.

    ¡°You know, I¡­ I remember wondering if you ever felt hot in those clothes. Even in August, you always wore¡­¡± He rubbed his arm. ¡°Long sleeves.¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°I think I saw that in your file¡­ it said you quit, though.¡±

    ¡°I did.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    Silence.

    ¡°Did you tell your parents? They¡¯re back, right?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Yeah. I mean, yeah, they¡¯re back. No, I didn¡¯t tell them. I haven¡¯t told anybody.¡±

    I looked down at my bandaged arms. ¡°You can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Diana, this is-¡±

    ¡°Please.¡± Tears instantly filled my eyes. ¡°Please, you can¡¯t. If you do, I don¡¯t know what they¡¯ll- they might- I might-¡±

    ¡°Okay, okay.¡± He took my by the shoulders. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I won¡¯t say anything, I promise. But¡­ try to¡­ try to quit again. Truce?¡±

    ¡°Truce.¡± I forced a smile, wiping my eyes. ¡°Y-you, uh¡­¡± I cleared my throat. ¡°You can tell Harry¡­ if you want. I¡¯m okay with that.¡±

    ¡°No way. He¡¯ll blab it before I even finish.¡±

    I chuckled. ¡°True.¡± I tapped my foot restlessly. I didn¡¯t know what to say. This was¡­ pretty weird. ¡°Why did you come up here, anyway?¡± I asked him.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°When you came here¡­ why? Were you coming to talk, or¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh. Um¡­ it was nothing. I was being a jerk. Forget it.¡± He waved dismissively.

    ¡°You wanted nachos or something?¡± I jokingly smirked.

    He massaged his nape sheepishly. ¡°More popcorn.¡±

    We found ourselves laughing. ¡°We got too lazy to heat up more, so they told me to ask you.¡±

    We laughed more. And more. I rolled onto my back, my stomach pulsing with giggles. Tommy bent over and shook his head.

    It wasn¡¯t even that funny. Were we crazy?

    The laughter soon descended into silence. The comfortable kind. My eyes remained on the ceiling.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been such a jerk.¡±

    I lifted my head. Tommy¡¯s shoulders trembled. ¡°Diana, I¡­¡± He sniffled. I sat up, shock overcoming me.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡­¡± His eyes reddened, a tear quivering at the tip of his nose. It glinted in the lamplight from my desk. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say.¡±

    I was frozen. I didn¡¯t know what to do. His tears were¡­ unexpected, to say the least.

    ¡°I guess I¡­ I just thought that if I started liking you¡­ I¡¯d forget.¡± He stood and paced around the room. ¡°I¡¯d just pretend everything was normal, like Mom and Dad. That¡¯s what we all wanted to avoid.¡± He wiped his face, mussing his spiky blond hair. ¡°I know it¡¯s not your fault, Diana. I know¡­ I know. I know I¡¯m wrong.¡± He leaned on the wall. His eyes glazed over with an indiscernible emotion as they flickered all around my room. I didn¡¯t know what it was, but it tugged at my heartstrings.

    ¡°I want my life back. I want my family back. I want¡­ I want everything back.¡± His voice quivered. ¡°And more than anything, I wanted her back, and then I see you¡­¡± He sniffled again, wiping his nose. ¡°But you¡¯re¡­ you. And she¡¯s¡­¡±

    ¡°Gone,¡± I finished for him. I stood and approached him. ¡°Tommy¡­¡± I bit my lip. ¡°I don¡¯t want to say I get it, because I don¡¯t. I¡¯ll never understand what you¡¯re feeling. But¡­ I get why you¡¯re¡­ why all of you¡­ were the way you were.¡± My hands comfortingly rubbed his shoulders. After a moment of deliberating, I spoke. ¡°Thank you. For apologizing. That¡¯s all I can really say. Thank you.¡±

    He burst into sobs. I pulled him into a tight embrace, soon realizing there were tears of my own dripping from my eyes, soaking his shirt.

    ~~~

    Tommy

    Every time I blinked, I saw her arms.

    I couldn¡¯t focus all day at school. I couldn¡¯t look at Harry¡¯s eyes, because I knew I¡¯d break. I hardly talked to anyone.

    For a moment, I¡¯d forgotten she was Diana. I saw Amy¡­ covered in red¡­ Then I realized¡­ that was Diana. And¡­ I was the cause of that.

    I contributed to something so horrible, so painful¡­ I didn¡¯t know what to think. I felt disgusted with myself. I caused so much pain to an innocent girl that suffered so much already, and I didn¡¯t care. I only cared about myself.

    Even after reading her file, I couldn¡¯t be empathetic enough towards her. I didn¡¯t read the whole thing, but she¡¯d gone through a lot. And that wasn¡¯t enough to stop me from being so horrible.

    She¡¯d quit. Now she started again. All because of us. Because of me.

    ¡°TOMMY! Are you listening to me?!¡±

    My eyes met Shirley¡¯s. I sighed, leaning back in my chair. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°What is wrong with you? You¡¯ve been blanking out all day.¡± She pointed at her notebook. ¡°For the last time, do you know the answer to this?¡±

    I blankly stared at the math problem. ¡°Uh¡­ I dunno.¡±

    She huffed and erased what she wrote. ¡°You¡¯re no help.¡±

    ¡°Shirley, I don¡¯t take AP Calculus, remember?¡±

    ¡°Still, you¡¯re good at these things.¡± She glanced at me as she wiped the eraser dust off her paper. ¡°What¡¯s going on with you? What¡¯s on your mind?¡±

    ¡°A lot of things.¡±

    ¡°It better not be-¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not another girl.¡± My temper flared, but I kept it in check.

    ¡°Just saying,¡± she muttered.

    I checked my phone. I still had 20 minutes left of my free period. Never thought I¡¯d want class to start so desperately. I wished we were out in the common study room instead of the private one. It would¡¯ve been more bearable having other people around. It would¡¯ve toned her down.

    ¡°That prank was over-the-top. That Diana girl is¡­ whew.¡± Her pencil softly scribbled. ¡°I don¡¯t know how you live with her issues.¡±

    ¡°Hey, it¡¯s not her fault.¡± I frowned. ¡°She¡¯s just gone through a lot. Plus, I deserved it for being such a jerk to her.¡±

    ¡°Since when are you so defensive about her?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not being defensive. I just think you shouldn¡¯t talk about her like that.¡±

    ¡°Like how? I¡¯m just saying the truth,¡± she scoffed. ¡°I¡¯mma be honest, I think she¡¯s doing it for attention. Lots of people fake mental health stuff for clout. She probably does it so people can feel sorry for her. No one acts that crazy in real life.¡±

    My toes clenched. I closed my eyes as a headache came on. I always had a headache talking to Shirley.

    And once again, yesterday¡¯s image projected in my mind¡¯s eye.

    I could feel Amy¡¯s anger. Her rage¡­ her disappointment. How ashamed she felt of me. Of us.

    ¡°If it¡¯s legit, then she needs serious help,¡± I vaguely heard Shirley say. ¡°Probably wind up like that girl from The Tapes.¡±

    The comment made me bristle. ¡°Shirley, seriously?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously that ignorant?¡±

    ¡°Tommy, what¡¯s your problem? Since when do you care so much about that ghost girl?¡±

    ¡°I just don¡¯t want to talk about her like this. It¡¯s not fair.¡± My eyes closed at another headache.

    I failed. I failed again. I had another chance, and I failed. Even worse than last time. I wanted her to be proud of me. But how could she be? I was trash. The scum of the earth.

    I had to do something. I had to find someone to help her¡­

    I stood, startling Shirley. ¡°I gotta go.¡±

    ¡°Where?¡±

    ¡°I need to see someone.¡±

    She gasped indignantly, standing. ¡°Oh, see someone? Who?¡±

    Sighing, I confessed, ¡°The school shrink.¡±

    ¡°The shrink?¡± She scoffed. ¡°Either you¡¯re lying, or Diana projected her mental health onto you.¡±

    My fist clenched at the comment. ¡°Fine, you can come with me if you don¡¯t believe me. I just need to ask him something, okay?¡±

    She rolled her eyes and gathered her things. ¡°Whatever.¡±

    My feet moved faster than ever through the halls. I only had a few minutes to ask him about this. I felt guilty breaking my promise, but this was too serious to keep secret. I could at least ask a professional for some help, keep it confidential.

    I knocked on Dr. Arbyman¡¯s office door. ¡°Come in,¡± I heard. Shirley moved to enter with me, but I stopped her. ¡°I need to talk to him in private,¡± I said.

    ¡°You don¡¯t trust me?¡± she said, hurt.

    ¡°I do. But I need to talk to him alone. Please?¡±

    She glared at me, but conceded, leaning against the wall. I went inside, dreading her rant about trust after this.

    ¡°Tommy,¡± Dr. Arbyman greeted. ¡°It¡¯s been a while. How can I help you?¡± He leaned forward on his desk.

    I sat in front of him, putting my bag down. ¡°I, uh¡­ needed to ask you a hypothetical question. An important one.¡±

    ¡°Sure, ask me anything.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ let¡¯s say you know someone that¡­ you didn¡¯t initially get along with, so you kind of¡­ or¡­¡± How would I say this? I checked the time again¡ª 8 minutes left. ¡°Let¡¯s say there¡¯s someone you know that started¡­ hurting themselves. And¡­ they don¡¯t want you to tell anyone, but you know they probably won¡¯t stop, and you think you¡¯re¡­ part of the reason why they started again after quitting-¡±

    ¡°Okay, Tommy, slow down,¡± Dr. Arbyman said calmly. ¡°Start from the beginning.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, it¡¯s just¡­ let¡¯s pretend I know someone who I didn¡¯t really like, but now, I¡¯ve realized that they¡¯ve been going through something and I was¡­ too stupid to notice it before. And¡­ they¡¯ve started a habit again, one they quit before, and I think it¡¯s my fault. And they need to stop, but they most likely won¡¯t, and they made me promise not to tell anyone.¡±

    Dr. Arbyman leaned back in his chair. ¡°Is this about your foster sister?¡±

    My mouth hung open. Maybe the ¡®hypothetical¡¯ part was too obvious.

    He chuckled. ¡°I¡¯ve noticed behaviors in her. And she has her own therapist I lend my office to¡ª you know this. I figured she probably went through a lot during her time in foster care.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she¡­ she has.¡± I swallowed, my eyes gluing themselves to my jeans. I couldn¡¯t look him in the eye knowing what I did¡­ knowing all I said¡­

    ¡°Are you saying she has resumed a habit she quit previously?¡± he asked.

    My throat tightening again, I nodded silently.

    ¡°When?¡±

    ¡°Yesterday, I went to her room and I saw her. She looked like¡­ it was like she didn¡¯t realize what she was doing.¡± I remembered the blank look in her eyes, as if she were hypnotized. The way she looked at me, like she woke up from a bad dream. ¡°She begged me not to tell anyone, so I didn¡¯t¡­ except you. I thought you¡¯d keep this between us, so.¡±

    ¡°No, you did the right thing. Situations like these¡ª you can¡¯t keep this secret. You¡¯re helping Diana this way,¡± Dr. Arbyman reassured me.

    My jaw trembled. I wiped my moistening eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t want her to keep going. I-I¡¯m scared. I don¡¯t know what she¡¯s going to do, what¡¯ll make her do something¡­ worse. I don¡¯t know what to do.¡± My voice cracked. I finally looked at him, and tears began to flow. ¡°I want to help her, but I feel like I made this happen. It¡¯s my fault. She needed help and I didn¡¯t care.¡±

    He leaned forward again, eyeing me seriously. ¡°Tommy. None of this is your fault. You didn¡¯t know. You¡¯re still grieving for Amy. You¡¯re hurting, too. Don¡¯t blame yourself.¡± He stood, walking up to me and putting an arm around my shoulders as I cried. ¡°This is something that would¡¯ve happened with or without you. What matters is that you recognized it and that you¡¯re willing to help.¡±

    I nodded, but I still wasn¡¯t convinced. Maybe if I listened to her, maybe she wouldn¡¯t have¡­

    The bell rang. I picked up my bag and composed myself. ¡°I have class, so¡­ maybe during lunch I can come back?¡±

    ¡°You can come back anytime during my hours, Tommy. Don¡¯t worry. We can continue discussing this and I¡¯ll see what I can do.¡± He led me to the door.

    ¡°Thanks, Doc.¡± I opened the door. Shirley was still against the wall, browsing on her phone. ¡°Done. Let¡¯s go,¡± I said.

    She was unexpectedly silent as we left, not giving me the rant I was waiting for. Maybe she was giving me the silent treatment instead, which I preferred. I didn¡¯t need the yelling right now.

    ~~~

    Diana

    09.28.23

    Dear Diary, Tommy and I have reached a sort of¡­ stalemate.

    I¡¯m not sure if we¡¯re friends. He was pretty weird this morning. But the hostility is gone. I saw a side of him I never thought I¡¯d see. I have a sense of closure with him now, like I do with Harry. Maybe things do have a chance of getting a bit better.

    I don¡¯t know what made me black out, though. That hadn¡¯t happened in so long. I thought it stopped. And over something so trivial, too. Sure, what happened was humiliating, but I don¡¯t know what made me overreact.

    And now I¡¯ll have to face Tony again. I don¡¯t have Biology today, thank God, but if I see him¡­ I don¡¯t know what I¡¯ll say. And I¡¯ll have to face him tomorrow, for sure.

    He¡¯s probably so disgusted. It¡¯s my fault his ¡®friends¡¯ did that, anyway. I feel like such an idiot.

    ~~~

    09.29.23

    Dear Diary, Mildred was sick today. The bus rides to and from school were pretty¡­ lonely, to say the least. Nothing happened¡­ except that someone threw a PB&J at my head and I got peanut butter stuck in my hair. I washed it off already, made some cute braids.

    I¡¯m getting a lot of messages on FamiliarFaces. I¡¯m regretting downloading this app. Nothing good has ever come out of it for me. At school, people have been writing in my notebooks, too. In the library, when I took all my books out, they were covered in marker. Names like ¡®sl¡ªt¡¯, ¡®b¡ªh¡¯, and other names were all over. I washed them all off already. I really don¡¯t know how anyone got to my notebooks.

    Also, Tony tried to talk to me today. It didn¡¯t seem like he was mad, but I couldn¡¯t really bring myself to look at him. We didn¡¯t get to talk much in class, but it boiled down to him apologizing on behalf of the soccer team¡ª which he shouldn¡¯t do, since it¡¯s not his fault¡ª and assuring me that he still wants to be my friend.

    I¡¯m relieved, but at the same time, I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s worth keeping him as a friend. Or having friends in general. Sooner or later, something will happen between me and Thelma, or the other girls. It¡¯s best if I just keep them as ¡®friends¡¯ and not <u>friends</u>. I keep getting fooled every time I come close to trusting someone.

    Only people I¡¯ll trust completely are Tommy and Harry¡­ for now. I¡¯m giving them <u>one</u>, single chance.

    ~~~

    10.02.23

    Dear Diary, Kyle and Jack thought it would be funny to lock me out in the rain. It took 5 minutes for me to start panicking and begging to be let in. When they did, they started laughing at me for overreacting. I thought they¡¯d leave me out there for days! It happened way too many times with the other families, and I always wound up sleeping out in the cold and rain. They really scared me. Poor Harry was trying to explain to them, but they¡¯re scum, so they¡¯re not going to realize how cruel their little joke was. I preferred the younger ones¡¯ old jokes; they used to ruin my food, put things in my hair. I wish it was just that.

    ~~~

    10.04.23

    Dear Diary, today was a pretty bad day. Ivy and I got paired up for an exercise in Computer Science. She didn¡¯t talk to me the whole time¡ª instead, she used the computer to type messages. And along the way, she called me a skinny w¡ªe.

    Obviously, that triggered me, and I yelled at her. Guess who got in trouble? Ivy made it like it wasn¡¯t a big deal and ¡®saved me¡¯ from detention, and demanded a ¡®thank you¡¯. I didn¡¯t say anything.

    On the flip side¡­ sort of¡­ I heard there¡¯s going to be a club fair next week. I don¡¯t know if I want to be in a club if I¡¯m not going to keep coming to school, but I guess I can try. It''s next Monday.

    My therapist advised me to go. She said it was a great opportunity to make friends and let everyone see the ¡®real me¡¯. A chance to dissuade the persona they¡¯ve given me as ¡®Amy¡¯s ghost¡¯. So, yeah, maybe I will go. That way more people see me as¡­ well, me.

    ~~~

    10.05.23

    Dear Diary, I don¡¯t know what Kyle and Jack are doing, but it almost seems like they¡¯re conspiring against us (me, Tommy, and Harry). They hardly talk to the younger two anymore, and they¡¯re always shutting up every time we walk in on their conversations. Those two are up to something; I can feel it.

    I do get breaks. Jack¡¯s on the football team at his school, so he¡¯s always practicing. Kyle sometimes has club meetings. And they both still work on the days they don¡¯t have classes. That helps.

    Not to mention they¡¯re always so unnecessarily nasty. Jack called me ¡®fit for Halloween¡¯ because I was such a ¡®skeleton¡¯. Kyle still finds ways to make me do chores when his parents aren¡¯t around¡ª not that they¡¯re around much, anyway. They¡¯re always having ¡®late meetings¡¯. Classic excuse to forget about the problems they caused themselves.

    Meh, maybe it¡¯s best. I hate being around them. Dinner¡¯s always so awkward with them. It¡¯s always awkward, but more so when they¡¯re there. I just can¡¯t bring myself to respect them anymore. No wonder they avoid people from their church.

    But they¡¯re my only hope for now. So when Ms. Bredlong comes to review us, we¡¯ll have to be a big, happy family.

    ~~~

    10.07.23

    Dear Diary, it happened again. Yesterday.

    At lunch, I decided to go back to the cafeteria for the first time in a while. At first, it was fun, hanging with the girls. Then this girl came out of nowhere and ¡®accidentally¡¯ dumped her orange juice over my head. And of course, when I got mad, everyone thought I was overreacting because it was an accident.

    When I went to the bathroom to wash up, I blanked out. When I came to, my backpack was open, I was holding my scissors, and the dressing I¡¯d <u>just</u> changed was all torn up. Thank God I was still in the bathroom stall, otherwise I could¡¯ve been seen.

    Tommy helped me redress my arms, but Harry walked in on us. At least it was him and not one of the older brothers. He promised to keep it quiet, and I hope he follows through. He can control his tongue when he really tries, so I¡¯m trusting him.

    I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯ll be able to hold out. It¡¯s getting worse. Everything¡¯s getting worse. I¡¯m still getting mean texts, Kyle and Jack keep making fun of me, people keep writing stuff on my notebooks. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m still in school.

    I guess I¡¯m scared of what I can do if I¡¯m home alone.

 15~ The Book Club

    October 9<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    ¡°School Council, Mathheads, Key Club, Book Club, Chess Club-¡±

    ¡°Thelma, you are n-not going to have t-time for all that!¡± Kate stared at her in bewilderment. ¡°We only ever see you at l-lunch.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll make time. Let¡¯s see, what else¡­?¡±

    ¡°What else? Girl, you¡¯ve m-mentioned half the clubs in the s-school already.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯ll join them.¡±

    ¡°What are you joining, Kate?¡± Blanche asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m n-not sure yet. Maybe Drama Club. Is there, like, a f-fashion club?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± said Alma, shaking her head.

    ¡°What are you guys in?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not in that many,¡± said Blanche. ¡°I¡¯m in the Summit Family of Foster Kids, Chess Club¡­ and I think I joined the Dance Club, but I never went.¡±

    My ears perked up. Foster Kids?

    ¡°Besides the Welcoming Committee, I¡¯m in the Latino Student Union, the Music Club, and the Anime Club.¡± Alma numbered her clubs on her fingers. ¡°I think I joined the Gaming Club, but I forgot.¡±

    ¡°What are you joining, Diana?¡± Thelma asked.

    ¡°Um¡­ I thought about the Book Club, like you.¡±

    ¡°Oh, awesome!¡± She brightened.

    ¡°And Blanche, did you say there was a club for foster kids?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, Summit Family of Foster Kids. It¡¯s pretty small.¡±

    ¡°You think I should join?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Why shouldn¡¯t you? It¡¯s pretty chill. We just meet up during a free period and talk. There¡¯s snacks and stuff.¡±

    We finally reached the gymnasium, continuing our slow pace. Tables were lined up all along the walls, each decorated with banners and glittery posters identifying their clubs. On their surfaces were bowls of candy, info posters, and pamphlets detailing what the clubs did. A few already caught my eye; ¡®Writing Club¡¯, ¡®Cooking Club¡¯, ¡®RTS Choir¡¯.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna start on the left and work my way around,¡± said Thelma. ¡°Diana, you want to come?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ no, you go ahead.¡± I didn¡¯t want to ruin her chances. She already had a tarnished reputation being my friend.

    ¡°Anyone w-want to come with me?¡± Kate looked at us.

    ¡°I¡¯ll go,¡± said Alma.

    ¡°I¡¯m not joining anything else.¡± Blanche shrugged, going to the foster kids¡¯ table.

    My eyes scanned the tables as I decided which one to go to first. ¡®RTS Track and Cross Country¡¯, ¡®Deaf and Blind Student Association¡¯, ¡®RTS BeaverNews¡¯, ¡®Summit High Tutors¡¯.

    The track team was an option¡­

    With my stomach churning, I approached the table. There were two, one hosted by boys and one by girls. Many of their eyes landed on me, their smiles fading and their conversation screeching to a halt.

    Relax. Deep breath. Yanking my sleeves further down, I put on my best smile. ¡°Um, hi.¡±

    One of the girls smiled and glanced at her teammates, leaning on the table. ¡°Hi! You interested in running track or cross country?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ either one. What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°Well, track runs are usually a lot shorter. There¡¯s a series of different events we have to complete. And it¡¯s all on even ground. As for cross-country, it¡¯s a single run, but a lot longer, and the terrain is uneven and a lot more difficult to run.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± I nodded in understanding. ¡°When are the tryouts?¡±

    ¡°Track is coming up next month. With cross country, you¡¯d have to wait until next year because the tryouts passed in August, and they¡¯re mid-season already. But you can write down your number or email.¡± She motioned to the sign-up sheet on the table next to her. She then slid their sign-up sheet towards me. ¡°I¡¯m the captain of the girls¡¯ track team¡ª for now, until they vote me out.¡± She jokingly jerked her thumb towards the girls behind her.

    One of them chuckled. ¡°It¡¯s your senior year and you¡¯ve been captain since 2021. That ain¡¯t gonna change.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°You never know.¡± She stuck her hand out. ¡°I¡¯m Roberta Crawley.¡±

    ¡°Diana Watson.¡± I relaxed a bit at the gesture.

    ¡°So, Diana, if you¡¯re interested in trying out, you can write down your name.¡± She clicked a pen and held it out. Hesitantly, I took it and wrote down my name and email.

    Roberta smiled brightly. ¡°Cool! Hope to see you at tryouts.¡± She took a poster off the pile they had and handed it to me. ¡°Here¡¯s everything you need to know. Coach North trains us. His email¡¯s there.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Roberta.¡± I read the info as I walked away. ¡®Tryouts are Nov 20<sup>th</sup>-Nov 22<sup>nd</sup>, 1:40-3:00, before Fall Break.¡¯

    November 20<sup>th</sup>¡­ Hopefully I could hold out until then. I really did want to try this.

    I continued to the Dance Club table. There was a small handful of students handing out printed posters and sign-up sheets, friendly smiles glinting. One girl saw me and stopped smiling, her eyes lingering before looking away. She nudged a few of her friends, who turned to look at me with disdain.

    I skipped the table. I never really danced anyway¡­

    I found the Soccer Team table. I recognized Kansas, Kyra, and Sebastian. Tony wasn¡¯t there, though. I kept my head down as I walked past them.

    ¡®Fellowship of Christian Athletes Club¡¯. I remembered Harry mentioning he and Tommy used to be in there. They stopped going after Amy passed.

    My eyes caught Rick¡¯s.

    We lingered for just a few moments. He finally smiled awkwardly, nodding in greeting. I returned it.

    I still didn¡¯t know who he was. He knew Amy, obviously. Maybe they were close? He reacted pretty¡­ weirdly when I met him.

    ¡°Diana!¡± Blanche waved to me from the foster kids¡¯ table. All her fellow members¡¯ attention was now on me. I approached, my hands clenching. Some of the people there seemed a bit wary. Thanks for putting me on the spot, Blanche¡­

    ¡°You gonna join?¡± Blanche asked.

    ¡°Um¡­ yeah, maybe.¡±

    She motioned to a boy next to her. ¡°Kyrone, this is Diana.¡±

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    ¡°The infamous Diana Watson.¡± He flashed a charismatic smile. ¡°Kyrone Robinson. I¡¯m a junior.¡± He shook my hand, his black skin contrasting against my sickly pale shade. ¡°So, you¡¯re a foster, right?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right. 12 years.¡±

    ¡°14.¡±

    I raised my brows. ¡°A long time.¡±

    ¡°Sure is. You¡¯re staying with the Fields, right?¡±

    ¡°Right.¡±

    ¡°How are they?¡±

    I shrugged in response.

    A redheaded girl turned away from a separate conversation, smiling at me. ¡°Hi! I¡¯m Delancey Sigourney, president of the club. I¡¯m a senior, been with a family for 10 years! Did you want to join?¡±

    ¡°I think so.¡±

    ¡°Great! We meet every Wednesday, 1:40 to 4:10, but you can stay as long as you want. We have food, games, we tell stories, and sometimes we have special events! It¡¯s a really fun environment for foster kids and any other students who want to get involved.¡±

    I took the pen she gave me and wrote down my name and email. Momentarily, I glanced behind me. Some more students at the Soccer Team tables were looking at me, mocking smirks flashing.

    I had to stop caring. I joined what I wanted to join.

    I looked back at them, doing a double take when I saw Tony. He caught my gaze and smiled, waving. The other three were gone now.

    My lips pressed together. People knew I was friends with him¡­ but¡­

    ¡°How are you?¡± he asked when I got closer.

    ¡°Good.¡± I forced a smile, glancing at his teammates. A couple of them were looking.

    ¡°Have you joined anything?¡±

    ¡°Uh, yeah¡­ the Track team, and the Foster Kids¡¯ Club.¡± I motioned to them.

    ¡°Cool. You thinking of anything else?¡±

    ¡°Um, maybe the Book Club.¡± I looked over at the table. ¡°What else did you join?¡±

    ¡°Uh, earlier I went for Gaming and Anime.¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± I laughed lightly.

    ¡°You should join. It¡¯s cool.¡±

    ¡°Maybe.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Tony!¡± a girl called, briefly glancing at me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll talk to you later.¡±

    I was secretly relieved, quickly navigating to the other tables. I finally approached the Book Club table. The boy handing out pamphlets smiled at me. ¡°Hi. Interested?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I like to read.¡±

    ¡°Cool. We¡¯re a pretty relaxing club¡ª at least, that¡¯s what we try to be. A lot of times, some of the ¡®nerds¡¯ like to get into really stupid debates.¡± He looked pointedly at a girl behind him. ¡°Overall, we assign books to read and discuss. A lot of times, we¡¯ll just go with homework readings. We meet every Tuesday, 12:00 to 2:00, in the library Reading Corner.¡± He handed me a pamphlet.

    ¡°2 hours?¡±

    ¡°So people can come and go depending on when they have classes.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Jake, could you-¡± A girl stopped at the sight of me. She looked familiar. Her hair was brown with blond highlights, stopping at her shoulders, and she wore very loud, purple eyeshadow. ¡°Hi, Diana,¡± she said with a big smile. ¡°I figured you¡¯d come here.¡±

    Confusion struck. ¡°Um¡­ do I know you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, sorry.¡± She giggled. ¡°I¡¯m Ivy¡¯s friend, Michelle. You remember Ivy?¡±

    Ugh, great. ¡°Right.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t expect you to recognize me. I just know you through Ivy.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s talked about me?¡±

    ¡°Mentioned you a couple times,¡± she said nonchalantly. ¡°You know, I was friends with Amy.¡±

    I raised my brows, feigning interest. ¡°Were you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. We were actually best friends in elementary school. We drifted apart, though. It was¡­ pretty sad when she passed.¡±

    I clenched my jaw at her tone. ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡±

    ¡°But I see her brothers are happier now that you¡¯re here.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡±

    ¡°Trust me, they are. Not as happy as they used to be¡­ but they are. You¡¯re helping them a lot.¡±

    It was very hard not to punch her in the face. Would I be able to join this club knowing she was here? I wasn¡¯t sure if it was worth it.

    I looked down at the sign-up sheet. Thelma had already written her name, along with Alma. They could help dissolve the tension, maybe.

    ¡°I hope you sign up! You¡¯d really enjoy our club. There¡¯s a foster kid in here, too. I saw you signing up there.¡± She nodded at the table across the gym.

    I glanced back, nodding. ¡°Yeah, I did. Well, in that case, sure, I¡¯ll sign up.¡± I picked up the pen.

    ¡°Cool! We actually meet tomorrow. We¡¯re going to welcome all the newbies, so there¡¯s gonna be some sweets. Hope you can make it.¡±

    As long as Thelma and Alma were going, I was going. I really wanted prove to this girl that I was more than Amy¡¯s replacement. I wanted to prove that to everyone.

    I just hoped Dr. Cawman was right. If they really saw me, would they forget? Would people start treating me like a normal person?

    Not that I was a normal person.

    ~~~

    October 10<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    I was sweating as I went into the locker room. P.E. was finished, and now, I had a free period.

    So it was Book Club time.

    I breathed steadily as I took off my gym pants. The first time I had P.E. and had to change in front of everyone, I had a small panic attack. Afterwards, I got sort of used to it, but lots of the girls liked to make fun of me.

    ¡°God, you¡¯re so lucky. You get to be skinny,¡± one girl had said to me during the first week.

    ¡°Do you even eat anything? You¡¯re so thin,¡± another girl said later on.

    ¡°I¡¯m so jealous. I want a waist like that.¡±

    I hated how they made these things sound like compliments.

    Granted, I had put on some more weight. I went to the doctor one weekend and she said I¡¯d gained a couple pounds. But I was still ¡®too skinny¡¯ to avoid the comments. Either that, or the girls just got used to making fun of me.

    ¡°Hey, Sylvia!¡± a girl called behind me. ¡°Come here.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Come here!¡±

    A pause. Then a response. ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°Just wanted to give you some inspiration now that you¡¯re finally working out.¡±

    My brows quirked.

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°You should aim for that. Although, you don¡¯t want to be too flat.¡± Giggles followed.

    I looked behind me. Two girls were smirking at me. Sylvia, who was a bit overweight, sighed wearily. ¡°Yeah, thanks.¡± She walked away.

    ¡°That was low, Daisy,¡± another girl commented, frowning at them.

    ¡°What? I didn¡¯t say anything. I was just giving her some motivation.¡±

    ¡°You know what you¡¯re doing.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, come on, I didn¡¯t say anything. Stop gaslighting me.¡± The girls continued the argument as they left. I silently got dressed and headed to the library.

    I checked my phone. The Book Club president told me she¡¯d confirm the meeting in a GoodNews text.

    Jamie (Book Club Pres.): Hi diana! Just letting u know that a study groups in our usual corner, so were going to the blechers nxt to the soccer field.

    Why the bleachers? There were other study rooms in the library.

    I shrugged to myself. Thanks, I¡¯m heading right over. I turned and headed to where the soccer field was.

    Outside, it was sunny, but a cold breeze chilled me. I untied my hoodie from around my waist and put it on. The soccer field was empty. I approached the bleachers, also finding them empty. I didn¡¯t see Jamie anywhere. Maybe they were on their way.

    I climbed the steps and sat down, playing on my phone. It was 1:05. I decided to be patient and wait.

    1:10.

    1:15.

    Geez, where was everyone? I checked my messages again. No updates.

    Oh, my Wi-Fi went out. No wonder.

    I turned on my phone data. I still didn¡¯t get a text from Jamie, but I did get a few from other people.

    ihavetoomanyAPs (Thelma Williams): Hi Diana! R u coming to Book Club?

    U just finished PE right?

    Its getting late. U ok? Did u decide not to come?

    alma_santiago2860 (Alma Santiago): Hi Diana, r u coming? Its going to end soon. Its really fun!

    Remember its in the reading corner in the library

    Sunflowergirl3482: Hi, Thelma. Didn¡¯t Jamie text you? I thought today¡¯s meeting was moved to the bleachers.

    She saw the message and replied. What? No we¡¯re at the library

    But didn¡¯t someone take the Reading Corner? My feet tapped anxiously.

    Diana there wasnt any change. We¡¯re at the library rn. Where r u?

    At the bleachers next to the soccer field.

    How long have u been there??

    My mind flickered in realization. I wanted to kick myself. I literally wanted to smash my head on the seats.

    Di im so sry, I think they were messing w u. we¡¯re all here.

    With an angry growl, I snatched my bag up and stomped down the bleachers, heading back inside. I still had some time before school let out.

    Just as I got to the doors, I met three familiar faces¡ª faces I loathed.

    Ivy feigned surprise when she saw me. ¡°Oh, hi, Diana!¡±

    Ugh. ¡°Hi, Ivy.¡±

    Lisa smiled. ¡°Nice to see you. Where are you headed?¡±

    ¡°Book Club.¡± I adjusted my backpack.

    ¡°Oh, yeah, Michelle told us you joined. That¡¯s cool.¡± The other girl next to them gave me a once-over. ¡°So, you¡¯re a book nerd like Michelle?¡±

    ¡°You could say that.¡±

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be in the library, though?¡± said Lisa. ¡°What were you doing out here?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ taking a walk,¡± I answered.

    ¡°Probably talking to herself,¡± the other girl said.

    Lisa snickered while Ivy scoffed, laughing lightly. ¡°Oh-my-God, Miranda, don¡¯t be so mean!¡± she exclaimed. ¡°Sorry. Just ignore her. She can be so toxic.¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    ¡°Well, I hope you have a nice club meeting. Michelle will tell us all about it, I¡¯m sure. They just started reading DNA.¡± Ivy grinned weirdly.

    ¡°DNA?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve never read it? It¡¯s so relatable for you.¡± She looked at the other two, who smirked. ¡°See you in class.¡± They walked off. I went back inside the school, looking up the book in question.

    It was a book about orphans.

    Touch¨¦.

    Although, as I read the summary, it actually seemed very interesting¡­ Ivy was right. I could relate to this book. But I would die before admitting that to her.

    I reached the Reading Corner, where a large group was clustered with phones and books on their laps. Thelma saw me and brightened. ¡°Here she is!¡±

    The girl I recognized as Jamie grinned, glancing at Michelle, who sat next to her. ¡°Hi, uh¡­¡± She snapped her fingers.

    ¡°Diana.¡± Alma glared at her.

    ¡°Diana. Sorry, it turned out that the Reading Corner was free after all. Silly me forgot to text you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I said through gritted teeth. I put my bag down and sat on the floor.

    ¡°We were just discussing our last read. You happen to read Clusters?¡± Michelle said.

    ¡°Um, no, not yet.¡±

    ¡°Really? Everyone reads that in middle school.¡± She cast a cursory glance at Jamie. ¡°We¡¯ll bring you up to speed.¡±

    So much for Dr. Cawman¡¯s bright idea.

 16~ Exposed

    After school was over, I went to my first meeting with the foster kid club. They seemed a lot nicer than the Book Club, so I just hoped it wouldn¡¯t turn out the same as yesterday.

    The club met in a classroom. The desks were arranged in a circle, a table pushed to the far wall. There were bowls of candy, cans of soda, and an open box of chocolate cookies.

    ¡°Diana, hey!¡± Blanche came up to me and took my hand. ¡°Glad you came. You want something to eat?¡± To my surprise, Alma was also present.

    ¡°Just some soda, thanks.¡± I served myself a cup and sat down at the circle with everyone else.

    ¡°Alright, I¡¯m gonna start. So¡­ who¡¯s new here this year?¡± Delancey asked the circle.

    I raised my hand with a couple other people.

    ¡°Okay, let¡¯s introduce ourselves! Diana, how about you go first?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ okay. I¡¯m Diana Watson. And I just moved in with the Field family, and I¡¯m staying for about half a year.¡±

    The other two introduced themselves; one was a boy named Derek who had just entered foster care, and the girl wasn¡¯t a foster kid, but joined anyway. Her name was Jessie, a junior.

    ¡°I¡¯m actually part of the school newspaper,¡± she continued. ¡°I came to get an article out of the meeting. I thought, since we have some¡­ interesting guests here, the school could have something exciting to read about.¡±

    Interesting guests?

    ¡°I¡¯d like to inform everyone else about how foster kids live and how their experiences are, so they¡¯re not so ignorant, you know, there¡¯s a lot of prejudice against foster kids, and I¡¯d like to change that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a great idea,¡± said Delancey, ¡°and we could increase membership. Most other foster kids here either don¡¯t know we exist, or don¡¯t want to join. This could help them, and help the rest of Summit¡¯s community know more about us and the system.¡±

    ¡°Actually, could you repeat that?¡± Jessie said, taking out her phone. ¡°That¡¯s a great quote.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± Delancey repeated what she said, talking into the phone.

    She was writing an article? I squirmed nervously. I hoped she didn¡¯t ask me anything.

    ¡°Okay, so¡­ I just wanted to ask y¡¯all how you feel in this club, if you relate more to other people, found anyone to connect with¡­ stuff like that. Uh, how about you?¡± Jessie smiled at me.

    ¡°Me?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. How do you feel now that you¡¯ve joined Summit¡¯s Family of Fosters?¡± She turned on her phone¡¯s voice recorder. I got a little anxious, seeing the soundwaves scroll by on her screen.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± I glanced at Blanche, who nodded encouragingly. ¡°W-well, I just joined, so¡­ it¡¯s hard to say. It¡¯s my first meeting.¡±

    ¡°But do you feel like your life here at Summit High will improve now that you¡¯ve found your people?¡±

    My people? ¡°I¡¯m not sure how to¡­?¡±

    ¡°I mean¡­ there¡¯s a lot of rumors about you. But now that you¡¯ve joined a club of people that relate to you somehow, you think you can sorta¡­ make new friends easier?¡±

    ¡°I guess so?¡±

    ¡°And I bet there¡¯s gonna be a lot more new members with you around. Lots of people want to meet you, so you could make a lot of friends,¡± Delancey pointed out.

    ¡°Lots of people want to meet me?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re famous here,¡± she said. ¡°And now, people will get to know you for you, not because of¡­ you know.¡±

    A pause. Delancey glanced at Blanche, raising her brows intently.

    ¡°I feel like Diana will help the club out,¡± Blanche suddenly interjected. ¡°There¡¯s lots of people here in Summit that stereotype foster kids, mostly because there¡¯s a lot of ¡®problem¡¯ foster kids in this area.¡± She made air quotes with her fingers. ¡°But now that she¡¯s here, they¡¯ll want to join just to meet her, and then they¡¯ll find out that foster kids aren¡¯t as ¡®disturbed¡¯ as people say here.¡±

    Jessie nodded, subtly winking at Blanche. It wasn¡¯t subtle enough to escape my keen eye. ¡°And they¡¯ll see you as more than what the rumors say,¡± she told me.

    I shook my head, baffled at the direction of the conversation. ¡°Wait- okay- what exactly are you saying? That¡­ you guys want me to make your club popular or something?¡±

    ¡°No! No. I mean, you will, but we just want people to get the chance to see all of us for us. Especially you,¡± said Blanche.

    ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°Just by talking to them and letting them know who you are. Telling your story.¡±

    ¡°My story isn¡¯t something I want to tell people.¡±

    ¡°Then just¡­ be you.¡±

    But I hate me. My hands rubbed against my jeans. ¡°This is making me uncomfortable,¡± I said. ¡°I joined, sure, but not to get popular or anything.¡±

    ¡°But don¡¯t you want people to stop seeing you the way they do? We can help,¡± said Delancey.

    ¡°Look¡­ I appreciate that you guys care, but¡­ this isn¡¯t¡­ it¡¯s not as simple as a meet-and-greet.¡±

    ¡°I think the reason people say stuff about you is because they don¡¯t know you. Maybe if you¡¯re more open and show you don¡¯t care, then they might see a different side of you.¡±

    ¡°And it can all start with this article,¡± said Jessie. ¡°Tell Summit who the real you is.¡±

    My heart picked up speed. I needed to get out of here. The whole environment was oppressing, further empowered by their insistent voices and intense stares.

    ¡°I-I think I gotta go, actually.¡± I rose, my hand fumbling for my backpack. ¡°I¡¯ve got¡­ stuff to do¡­ bye.¡± I left my full cup of soda on the table.

    As I speed-walked down the hall, I heard, ¡°Diana!¡± Turning, I saw Blanche running after me. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s wrong?¡± she asked.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Blanche, I don¡¯t want to be interviewed about the ¡®real me¡¯. I just wanted to drink soda and chat. What is this?¡±

    ¡°We just¡­ we felt bad for you,¡± she confessed. ¡°The whole school talks about you. You¡¯re like a social pariah because of something that¡¯s not your fault. We just wanted to help.¡±

    ¡°And get a headline for your club. ¡®Amy¡¯s ghost twin joins the Foster Kid Club¡¯!¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not like that.¡±

    ¡°Then what?¡±

    ¡°Like I said, we just wanted to help. You¡¯re always alone, and¡­ we felt bad. Especially after yesterday; Alma told me what happened, and I felt so bad.¡±

    There it was again. The pity. They ¡®felt bad¡¯. Everyone ¡®felt bad¡¯, so they wouldn¡¯t leave me alone. I was the pathetic, lonely, poor little unpopular girl who looked like a dead girl.

    ¡°So I¡¯m just a charity case or something?¡± I finally answered.

    ¡°No, Diana-¡±

    ¡°Sorry, but that¡¯s what it sounds like.¡± I continued to my locker. I just needed my AP Lit book, and I¡¯d be out of here. I hurriedly booked a car to take me home ASAP.

    Blanche practically ran after me, unable to keep up. ¡°Wait- Diana, please, that¡¯s not what we wanted.¡±

    ¡°If you wanted to help, then don¡¯t bring a literal reporter to publish my ¡®story¡¯. Like I¡¯m just gonna trauma-dump on you so easily. This is what I don¡¯t get.¡± I stopped just before my locker. ¡°You¡¯re a foster kid, too. If you went through something¡­ sick and horrible with a family, would you want someone to write about it and tell everyone?¡±

    Blanche hesitated, then looked behind me, her gray eyes widening. Following her gaze, I turned.

    On my locker were sticky notes attached all over the door. I slowly approached to read them. They were all different, but with two handwriting styles¡ª so two people, most likely girls, from the way the letters were shaped.

    ¡®1. I¡¯m a total loser¡¯. ¡®2. I cut myself to make people feel bad.¡¯ ¡®3. I hate my life because I have no friends.¡¯

    Blanche cursed behind me. ¡°What is this?¡± I only stared at the notes, my soul screaming louder with every one.

    ¡®13. I replaced a dead girl.¡¯

    ¡°Diana! What a coincidence!¡±

    Shirley walked up to me with a bright smile. She stopped, gasping dramatically at the notes on my locker. ¡°Oh! What is this? How terrible!¡± She shook her head with devastation. ¡°People can just be so mean sometimes. Sorry this happened to you. I guess they heard.¡±

    ¡°H-heard about what?¡± I choked out, swallowing.

    ¡°Oh, you know¡­¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Well, I guess the notes are a reference to The Tapes. You know that show?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s trash,¡± said Blanche.

    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t see it that way. It¡¯s educational. Lets us know what people might be going through. I guess people get the memes out of it, though.¡± Shirley looked back at the notes. ¡°And¡­ I guess it¡¯s also because people love to get attention. There¡¯s sickos out there, right? They act like they¡¯re suffering so people will love them¡­ or whatever. Takes the legit part out of the equation. Then people who are really suffering aren¡¯t believed. It¡¯s a shame.¡±

    ¡°H-how¡­? What are you talking about?¡± I said.

    ¡°Well, everyone knows about your¡­ thing.¡± She pointed at her arm. ¡°You should get some help for that. Any sane person would. That¡¯s not healthy.¡±

    Before that witch could say another word, I ran. My legs worked like clockwork, carrying me far. I soon found myself running alongside trees, my back soaked with sweat under my backpack. My shoulders ached. I finally collapsed on the sidewalk, panting. Touching my eyes, I found tears.

    I knew I shouldn¡¯t have trusted Tommy. I couldn¡¯t trust anyone.

    ~~~

    The minute my Rideshare car dropped me off, I bolted out and ran to the house. Tommy and Harry were probably in their room doing homework. I barreled upstairs like a bull. My anger had reached levels it hadn¡¯t reached in a long time.

    On the way home, Shirley continued texting me on FamiliarFaces, calling me a ¡®selfish ingrate¡¯ for not accepting her help. According to her, if I refused help, ¡®no one would believe me¡¯ and I would just be labeled ¡®crazy¡¯.

    After blocking her, I was ready to beat Tommy up for spilling the beans. To her, of all people. I would¡¯ve been less angry if Harry had blabbed it.

    I barged inside the boys¡¯ room and wordlessly grabbed both of them by the collars. They exclaimed as they were yanked down to my height. I dragged them all the way down to the den, ignoring their protests. It was safer; their parents were too close to their room.

    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    Once inside, I closed the door and gave Tommy a death glare. Both of them were staring at me confusedly, with wide eyes. ¡°Let¡¯s talk,¡± I said simply.

    ¡°Hello to you, too,¡± Harry chuckled, but he stopped when I turned my glare on him.

    ¡°Sofa. Now.¡± I pointed at the couch.

    They stood stiffly, their gazes changing. They were still confused, but there was something indescribable in their eyes.

    ¡°Now.¡±

    They broke out of their daze and went to sit. I moved the sofa chair so I could be facing them and plopped on the seat. ¡°Both of you know about¡­ these.¡± I pulled my sleeves up and held up my newly bandaged arms. The first-aid kit was going to run out at this rate.

    Both boys nodded.

    ¡°And you know this was a secret, right?¡±

    They nodded again. Harry¡¯s eyes then shot wide. ¡°I-I didn¡¯t say anything! I swear I kept my mouth shut!¡±

    ¡°I know, Harry.¡± I smiled at him calmly. ¡°You¡¯re good, don¡¯t worry.¡± My smile disappeared when I spoke to Tommy. ¡°But you¡­¡±

    ¡°Me? Diana, I haven¡¯t told anyone.¡± He swallowed, giving his guilt away.

    ¡°Oh, really? Then can you explain why Shirley knew about these?¡± I held up my arms again.

    ¡°Why who what?¡± Harry¡¯s forehead was wrinkled with deep creases.

    ¡°Shirley?¡± Tommy asked, now confused.

    ¡°Yeah. You remember her, right? About my height. Short blond hair. Grumpy-looking. Sits on your lap all the time and demands you call her Shirl-bear and hand-feed her marshmallows. Your girlfriend.¡±

    Harry snickered, but was again silenced, this time by his brother¡¯s glare. ¡°I know who you¡¯re talking about, Diana,¡± Tommy said sarcastically.

    ¡°Well?¡±

    ¡°Well? I didn¡¯t tell her.¡±

    ¡°Then how does she know? How does anyone know? I had a bunch of Post-Its on my locker making fun of¡­ this! And she coincidentally appeared when I saw the notes and said I ¡®needed help¡¯. Tell me how she did all that!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know! Harry must¡¯ve said-¡±

    ¡°What?! I didn¡¯t say anything!¡± Harry protested.

    ¡°You always say something!¡±

    ¡°Not this! And even if I did, I wouldn¡¯t have told Shirley!¡±

    ¡°I swear I didn¡¯t tell her!¡±

    ¡°Then who did?¡±

    ¡°Exactly. Who did?¡± I cut in.

    Tommy looked at me with bewilderment, his mouth flapping. ¡°I-I¡­¡±

    ¡°How about you call her and ask her who told her?¡± Harry suggested.

    He immediately agreed. ¡°Yeah. Yeah. I¡¯ll call her and ask her. I know I didn¡¯t say anything to her.¡± He quickly dialed on his phone and called. It took a few rings before she answered. He put it on speaker.

    ¡°Hey, Tommy-bear.¡±

    ¡°Hi, babe.¡±

    ¡°Babe?¡±

    Tommy sighed wearily. ¡°Shirl-bear.¡±

    Harry and I heavily rolled our eyes. How pathetic could this get?

    ¡°That¡¯s better. What¡¯s up?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ I, uh¡­ needed to ask you something.¡±

    Sighing impatiently, I snatched the phone away. ¡°Hi, Shirley, it¡¯s me, Diana. You know, Tommy¡¯s foster sister?¡±

    Shirley groaned in irritation. ¡°What is this ¡®brat¡¯ doing with your phone, Tommy?¡±

    ¡°This ¡®brat¡¯ wants to ask you: who told you about my cuts?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Huh?¡± Shirley said cluelessly.

    ¡°Who told you about my cuts? On my arms?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡± There was a long pause. ¡°Well, Tommy, obviously. He tells me everything.¡± She scoffed condescendingly. ¡°You taking too many antidepressants, Diana? They¡¯re smoothing your brain.¡±

    Before I could respond, Tommy snatched his phone back. ¡°Shirley, what are you talking about? I didn¡¯t tell you about that.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you did. Y-you tell me everything.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell you this!¡± he insisted.

    ¡°Yeah, you did,¡± she said unconvincingly.

    He stood frozen. ¡°I¡­ I couldn¡¯t have. I¡­ didn¡¯t tell you.¡±

    ¡°I guess you don¡¯t remember.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ no.¡± He slowly lowered the phone, looking at me blankly. ¡°Diana¡­ I-I¡¯m so sorry. I swear I didn¡¯t mean-¡±

    My anger had faded. He didn¡¯t tell her anything. But she found out somehow.

    ¡°What are you apologizing to her for? She needs help. She doesn¡¯t have to be such an ingrate. If she¡¯s legit, and she wants people to care about her, then she should let them. Geez.¡±

    My anger flared again, but it wasn¡¯t towards Tommy anymore. I snatched the phone from him again. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s it. Tell the truth.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Tommy didn¡¯t tell you anything. Tell the truth,¡± I said.

    ¡°Wh-wha¡­ Tommy, she¡¯s crazy.¡±

    ¡°Oh, my- JUST TELL THE TRUTH!¡± I screamed. Harry ran up to me, shushing me and nervously glancing at the door.

    ¡°Diana, don¡¯t yell at her so much,¡± Tommy defended her.

    ¡°Did you mention it to anyone else? I want you to be honest, Tommy,¡± I demanded.

    He paused, then his eyes shot wide in realization. ¡°Oh, my God.¡± He covered his mouth.

    ¡°Who did you tell?¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± He sat down, looking up at me guiltily. ¡°I¡­ went to Dr. Arbyman. I¡¯m really sorry, Diana, but I just couldn¡¯t let this go. I didn¡¯t mean to lie. I thought that maybe he could help you. And his meetings are confidential, so I thought it was safe. I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    Arbyman¡­ right, the school counselor.

    I was angry knowing Tommy did technically blab to someone and lied to me. But at least he hadn¡¯t directly told Shirley. The question still stood. ¡°Was Shirley with you when you went?¡± I asked, containing my rage.

    He sighed, taking a breath. ¡°Yes, she was.¡± He took the phone from me. ¡°Shirley, please tell me you weren¡¯t eavesdropping.¡±

    A pause. Then she hung up. Tommy grunted in frustration and threw the phone on the sofa. He sat down again, clutching his head. ¡°Diana-¡±

    ¡°I told you not to tell anyone. I don¡¯t care if it was a shrink, you couldn¡¯t tell anyone.¡± I swallowed down tears. ¡°I should¡¯ve known.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°I know you¡¯re sorry. You¡¯re always sorry. But you always make everything worse for me!¡± I exclaimed. ¡°Why did she have to go with you, huh? Now everyone knows, Tommy! EVERYONE! I don¡¯t know what to do- I- I can¡¯t go back there now, I can¡¯t do what¡­¡±

    Harry gently took me by the arms. ¡°Try to calm down.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t calm down!¡± I pulled away from him, trembling. ¡°Thanks to your brother, I¡¯m gonna be moved! I CAN¡¯T DO THIS AGAIN!¡±

    The door opened. Kyle and Jack stood, looking at us with confusion. ¡°What are you all screaming about in here?¡± Kyle asked.

    ~~~

    Jack

    This week could not get any worse.

    I was exhausted after sleeping at 2:00 in the morning. How my Human Development teacher expected us to finish an entire project in three days, I didn¡¯t know, but I did it at the cost of my sleep. I was so tired that I even went into the women¡¯s bathroom by mistake.

    On top of that, my favorite shirt was ruined after spilling soup on myself at lunch, and it was now raining heavily. I had to cross buildings between classes, so I was soaked to the bone, my umbrella safe at home.

    I was also supposed to go out with some of the guys from the team today for lunch, but they cancelled on me. Few hours later, I saw them all in the parking lot, coming back from Rita¡¯s, happy as can be. When I confronted them about it, they just brushed me off.

    My texts to a couple of them were left on ¡®Read¡¯ and one¡ª a Summit High grad¡ª responded with, ¡®Cry to ur ghost sister lol¡¯, so at least I had a bit of an answer to my question.

    Even at college, away from Summit, she still ruined my life somehow.

    I waited under the awning of the Student Center for Nicole¡¯s car to pull up. I was cold, tired, and in a very bad mood. I mindlessly scrolled through FamiliarFaces in the meantime.

    flynngrinn: yo

    Lucas? What did he want?

    jack_linus_field2004: what?

    flynngrinn: how u been?

    Ok ig? I texted back.

    Lol, he said, ur happy w ur new sister now right?

    I bristled. What r u talking about

    I see tom and harry at school and they seem ok now, wondering if ur ok w ur new sister too, he said. I want to see the new amy again lol

    Unable to resist myself, I cursed at him and blocked him. My already sour mood worsened, my skin heating up. It was always about her. Everyone would always talk about her. It wasn¡¯t fair.

    Nicole¡¯s car finally rolled up. I wordlessly got in the back seat, Kyle in the passenger. ¡°Hey, sweetie, how was school today?¡± Nicole said jokingly. ¡°Did your teacher give you a gold star?¡± Both chuckled.

    Normally, I would¡¯ve laughed along, but I wasn¡¯t in the mood for jokes. ¡°Not now, Nic.¡±

    Kyle turned in his seat, noticing my expression. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Jack?¡±

    ¡°Nothing.¡±

    ¡°Did something happen?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re all wet,¡± Nicole observed, glancing in the rearview mirror as she drove. ¡°You forget your umbrella?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know it was going to rain,¡± I answered.

    ¡°It said it on the forecast this morning.¡±

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t have time to be checking the weather all the time, okay?¡± I snapped.

    ¡°Don¡¯t talk to her like that.¡± Kyle eyed me sternly. ¡°What happened to you?¡±

    ¡°Nothing, alright? I don¡¯t feel like talking.¡±

    Nicole tapped Kyle¡¯s arm. ¡°Let him be.¡±

    The rest of the ride was tense and silent. The rain pattering on the windows irritated me by the second. Lucas¡¯s messages had really sent me over the edge.

    The only reason I tolerated him was because of Tommy and Harry. They needed football scholarships for college. I didn¡¯t want to screw that up for them, not with Lucas¡¯s influence over the team. Tommy wasn¡¯t aiming for college, but he wanted to give his scholarship to Harry to go out-of-state.

    He was such a trash person¡­ deep to his core. I would give him the benefit of the doubt when we were younger, not wanting to judge so quickly, but he demonstrated loud and proud that he was a heartless, sick perv. He would treat Amy like scum, and we wouldn¡¯t do anything about it.

    And here we were, stuck in the same loop, doing the same thing, all over again. Amy would¡¯ve been so disgusted and disappointed.

    Once Nicole stopped at our house, I bolted out the door, forgetting to thank her. ¡°Jack, wait!¡± I heard Kyle call, but I was desperate to crash on my bed and go to sleep.

    I paused at the foyer, hearing yelling from the den. It wasn¡¯t the usual competitive arguments between Tom and Harry over a game. It was an argument.

    I took off my jacket and shoes, leaving them by the door. Kyle came behind me. ¡°Jack, you¡¯re going to tell me-¡±

    ¡°Shh.¡± I tried to make out what they were saying, but I couldn¡¯t tell. Kyle heard it, too. We then heard Diana yelling in a sobbing rant. We approached the den door, now hearing her clearly.

    ¡°Thanks to your brother, I¡¯m gonna be moved! I CAN¡¯T DO THIS AGAIN!¡±

    We entered. All three of them turned, freezing like criminals caught in a robbery. ¡°What are you all screaming about in here?¡± Kyle asked.

    They glanced at each other. ¡°Nothing,¡± they said.

    ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± Kyle asked again.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± Diana insisted, playing with her sleeve.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Harry asked, turning red. A classic tell.

    ¡°My class got canceled,¡± I said. It was my favorite course, too, but it was a relief. I was so sick of school.

    ¡°What were you fighting about?¡± Kyle asked one more time.

    ¡°Nothing, guys,¡± Tommy said.

    Kyle put on the big-brother frown of his, staring down all three. While Tommy and Harry shied away, Diana just rolled her eyes. I shivered. I didn¡¯t know how she didn¡¯t get the least bit intimidated by Kyle¡¯s glare.

    That look promised something¡ª anytime, anywhere, Kyle would pay us back by bringing some kind of misfortune, whether it was a prank, him telling Mom and Dad a secret, embarrassing us, or anything else.

    ¡°I¡¯m serious. If it¡¯s something to do with Diana, we should all know-¡±

    ¡°Why should you?¡± Diana scoffed.

    ¡°Because we¡¯re your host family? It¡¯s our business if something¡¯s happening to you.¡±

    ¡°Oh, and it wasn¡¯t my business that my host family used me as a replacement daughter-slash-sister?¡±

    My nerves tingled, anger filling my veins. ¡°That was different,¡± I gritted out.

    ¡°How? I had the right to know why people looked at me all the time. I had the right to know why I was here in the first place.¡±

    ¡°People look at you because you chose to go to school, like an idiot,¡± I reminded her. ¡°You could¡¯ve gone to online school, but no, you wanted the experience.¡±

    ¡°I stayed at that jailhouse because I wanted answers!¡±

    ¡°Could we stop? I want to know what you guys were talking about,¡± said Kyle.

    ¡°It¡¯s none of your business!¡± Diana shouted, following with a curse name.

    ¡°Guys, Mom and Dad-¡±

    ¡°Who cares about Mom and Dad?!¡± I snapped. ¡°They don¡¯t care what we¡¯re doing! They¡¯re trapped in their office doing ¡®work¡¯!¡± I made quotes with my fingers. ¡°And you,¡± I pointed at Diana, ¡°you better be grateful that we even take time to care about your drama.¡±

    ¡°Drama?¡±

    ¡°Boo-hoo, I¡¯m a poor foster kid that everyone hates so I decided to make other people¡¯s lives miserable because if I¡¯m not happy, no one else should be!¡± Everyone stared at me in shock. I felt like maybe I was going a bit far, but I couldn¡¯t stop. All my rage just poured out like an exploding volcano. ¡°It¡¯s always something else with you! You make it worse and worse for us, and then you¡¯re crying about how you¡¯re the victim!¡±

    ¡°Jack, shut up!¡± Harry shouted back.

    ¡°Shut up?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about!¡±

    ¡°Diana, let¡¯s just go-¡± Tommy put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged him off.

    ¡°Oh, you see? You wanted us to be nice, and when we are, you just¡­¡± I imitated her pushing someone away. ¡°Like, why? What do you want?¡±

    ¡°Jack, just leave her alone!¡± Harry continued.

    ¡°Butt out.¡±

    ¡°Me? You guys came in here!¡±

    ¡°I want all of you to be quiet,¡± Kyle snapped, his arms folded across his chest. ¡°I¡¯m not letting any of you leave until you tell me what happened.¡±

    ¡°Who cares about what happened, Ky? She probably just made our lives worse.¡±

    ¡°Stop blaming me for everything!¡± She shoved me back, tears flowing. ¡°Just stop!¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t give me that. I know you can act. You¡¯re not bad at it, like-¡± I stopped myself. It was true. Amy was a terrible liar. The only time she could get away with something was when she faked sick¡ª she was good at that. ¡°Just stop trying to make us feel sorry for you,¡± I finished.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to feel sorry!¡±

    ¡°She needs help, you guys. Okay?¡± Tommy defended.

    ¡°Help? Oh, you bet.¡±

    ¡°Jack. Butt out.¡± Kyle glared at me.

    ¡°Me?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Butt out. Just go. You¡¯ve been in a bad mood all day.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I had a bad day. A bad week- actually, no. A bad year. The whole year¡¯s been trash, thanks to her!¡± I pointed at Diana.

    ¡°Oh, yeah, I ruined your whole year even though I met you, like, two months ago.¡± She scoffed at me. ¡°You¡¯re not as smart as I thought you were.¡±

    Harry¡¯s face reddened further, but out of rage rather than nerves. ¡°Would you stop picking on her?¡± he screamed. ¡°You see- this is why we were fighting! You won¡¯t leave her alone. People at school don¡¯t leave her alone. That¡¯s why she¡¯s getting like this.¡±

    ¡°Harry-¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s stuff like this that¡¯s making her hurt herself-¡±

    ¡°HARRY!¡± Diana pushed him, looking at him in shock. The words soon registered in my head as silence followed, my anger starting to fade.

    ¡°What?¡± Kyle finally said.

    The color drained from Diana¡¯s face. She looked at us with teary eyes, shrinking into herself like a turtle in a shell.

    ¡°She what?¡± Kyle approached Harry. ¡°It¡¯s stuff like this that what?¡±

    ¡°Nothing,¡± he said, but it was too late.

    ¡°What do you mean, she hurts herself?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± Diana insisted.

    ¡°What are you doing? Is that why you wear long sleeves all the time?¡± I asked.

    ¡°No, I-¡±

    Tommy stepped in. ¡°Guys, get off her back-¡±

    Kyle stepped forward, taking Diana¡¯s arm and lifting her sleeve. We caught a glimpse of a bandage before she yanked her hand away. ¡°LET ME GO!¡± she shrieked, pinching our eardrums.

    ¡°What are those?!¡±

    ¡°DON¡¯T TOUCH ME!¡±

    The door opened. Dad looked at us sleepily, although he was still in his business attire, his hair neatly combed. ¡°What are you kids screaming about in here?¡± he said scoldingly.

    Diana took the chance to run outside. Harry followed her down the hall. I could only stare, my rational thinking restoring as the anger faded completely.

    ¡°Thanks a lot, Jack.¡± Tommy stared at me with angry eyes.

    ¡°I¡­¡±

    ¡°Just go. Get out.¡±

    ¡°What happened here?¡± Dad crossed his arms. ¡°Jack, what happened?¡±

    Exhaustion suddenly overtook me. I brushed past him and went upstairs. Behind me, I could hear Kyle talking to him. As I went down the hall, Mom came out of her room. ¡°What was all that?¡± she asked. ¡°We heard you guys screaming down -¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing, Mom. Ask Kyle, he¡¯s in the den.¡± I went inside, closing the door, and collapsed on my bed.

    What have I done?

 17~ Review

    There was a corner in Greenfield¡¯s library I found comforting. Like a sanctuary. Not many people came here, instead occupying the study rooms and tables around the building, and I preferred it like that.

    Whenever I did homework, that was my ¡®alone time¡¯. During classes and clubs, I faced the stress of socializing. Before, I wouldn¡¯t have minded it, but now, I didn¡¯t feel like talking to anyone.

    My phone buzzed loudly with a video call. Amelia¡¯s beautiful face was on my screen. Smiling, I answered.

    ¡°Hey, babe,¡± she said, walking. Ceiling lights passed over her head.

    ¡°Hey.¡± I scratched my neck.

    ¡°How are you? I miss you.¡±

    ¡°Okay. Getting there.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I haven¡¯t visited yet.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I know. Freshman year is crazy.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah.¡± She sat down at a table, setting her phone against something so I could see her properly. ¡°It¡¯s October and I have a project.¡±

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°Rhetoric and Composition.¡± She brought out a notebook and flipped through the pages. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to get through my Gen-Eds.¡±

    ¡°Me, too,¡± I agreed. ¡°God, the Math course I have is so easy, I feel like I¡¯m cheating. And people in my class are just stupid.¡±

    Amelia laughed. ¡°Don¡¯t be mean. Any courses you¡¯re taking that you like?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yeah. First Aid and CPR Training. It¡¯s my favorite,¡± I said as I turned a page of my textbook. ¡°The book was pretty expensive, though. But the professor ¡®doesn¡¯t like e-books¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Is it worth it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s a fun class. Just expensive.¡±

    She paused, turning a page. ¡°Jack¡­ how have you been doing, really?¡± She clicked her pen and wrote something down.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°You know.¡±

    I put down my book and sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t know. It¡¯s like¡­ I look at my parents, and they¡¯re complete strangers. Even Kyle doesn¡¯t talk to me that much anymore. And Tommy and Harry¡­ they¡¯re angry with me.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to be so mean to them.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯ve been having a hard time¡ª because of her. And Mom and Dad want us all to just go back to normal. They¡¯re holed up in their room ignoring us.¡± I mindlessly read the pages. ¡°At least she won¡¯t be at Summit anymore.¡±

    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s not?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s transferring to online school. She starts on Monday. Tomorrow¡¯s her last day.¡±

    Amelia clicked her tongue. ¡°Poor thing probably dealt with a lot at school.¡± Her undertone instilled a wave of guilt, but I remained silent.

    ¡°Her caseworker¡¯s coming over on Tuesday, too,¡± I finally said.

    ¡°I thought she was going tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°She was ¡®busy¡¯, so she postponed it.¡±

    ¡°How does that go?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯ll just come over and see how we¡¯re doing. We just need to act¡­ ¡®normal¡¯, and we¡¯ll be fine.¡± I cringed at the thought. Acting was never my strong suit.

    ¡°Does Diana want to leave?¡± Amelia asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°What about the bullying at school?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I repeated robotically. ¡°It¡¯s probably reported already.¡± Did the caseworker know about her arms? Did Diana¡¯s therapist know? Probably not. She¡¯d hidden it for so long.

    My phone buzzed, an alert covering Amelia¡¯s face. ¡®STR Info Night¡¯, it said. I cursed. ¡°I have a meeting, I forgot.¡± I dismissed the alert.

    ¡°What meeting?¡± Amelia asked curiously.

    I packed my things. ¡°A frat thing-¡± I stopped, kicking myself.

    Amelia sighed disapprovingly. ¡°I don¡¯t know about that, Jack.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just an info night. I¡¯m not rushing until next semester, anyway. Too much going on right now. I missed fall rush already.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you want to do this?¡±

    ¡°Amelia, come on. You sound like my mom.¡±

    She chuckled lightly. ¡°I just don¡¯t want you to get hazed on top of everything that¡¯s happening. The team already hazed you, right?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t that bad. Just lunch. It¡¯s not like they made me strip or anything. Besides, your roommate¡¯s in a sorority, isn¡¯t she? You said she looked happy.¡±

    ¡°She looks happy. Greek Life isn¡¯t as big at Waterford. And I feel like women¡¯s clubs are at least a bit safer.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I started out of the library, holding my phone.

    Amelia raised a brow. ¡°Jack. You men are a whole other species.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. It¡¯s just a little meeting.¡±

    ¡°You skipped work for that?¡±

    ¡°No, my shift ended two hours ago.¡± I left the library building, heading for the shuttle bus stop. The sky was beautiful, moonlight illuminating thin clouds.

    ¡°Just be careful, okay? Frats¡­ they¡¯ve got a reputation,¡± Amelia warned me.

    ¡°Not every frat guy¡¯s the same. Sam rushed.¡±

    ¡°Do your parents know you¡¯re rushing?¡±

    I licked my lips. ¡°¡­ They will.¡±

    ¡°How are you gonna explain the dues if you get in one?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m paying my own dues with my money.¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t your dad in a frat?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and he says he regretted it because they hazed so much. But Greenfield¡¯s different.¡±

    Amelia seemed doubtful, but she said nothing. ¡°Okay. Anyway¡­¡± She yawned. ¡°I think I¡¯ll call it a night and go back to my dorm. My roommate should be out working all night.¡± She took her phone as she put away her stuff, her video wobbling. ¡°Let me know how it goes with Diana, okay?¡±

    I sighed tiredly. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be too hard on her, okay?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m trying not to. It¡¯s just¡­ everything¡¯s been so difficult with her around.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not her fault.¡±

    ¡°I know, but it¡¯s still hard. My parents just want another daughter. I don¡¯t want to call her my sister.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to. Amy is still Amy. You¡¯re not replacing anyone. Just call Diana your friend.¡± She started leaving her area. The ceiling turned into a night sky above her. ¡°Think about what Amy would do if she were here.¡±

    Her words made me pause. How would she have treated her? She¡¯d be thrilled at the prospect of having a sister in the first place. And being her¡­ well, double¡­

    But the thing was, if she were here, none of us would have a problem with Diana.

    God, what do I do? I know I haven¡¯t talked to you enough, but what do I do? Please, I want to be better. Why does it have to hurt?

    ¡°I love you, babe. I¡¯ll talk to you later on. Oh, and I¡¯ll let you know if I can visit,¡± Amelia said.

    ¡°Okay. I love you too. Bye.¡±

    She hung up. I resisted tears, sitting on the bench. My leg bounced impatiently as I waited for the shuttle to arrive. I hoped I wasn¡¯t too late. It would be a good distraction from all the chaos in my family. Sigma Tau Rho was the top fraternity on my list, and I didn¡¯t want to screw anything up.

    So far, I¡¯d made a couple of friends there. Asher, the chapter president, was in a club I joined. Howard was a guy I met at the club fair. Hopefully, I¡¯d make a good impression tonight.

    I got off the shuttle at the Greek Housing section. As I walked, Kyle called me. ¡°Hey,¡± I said, putting the phone to my ear.

    ¡°Hey, are you coming home?¡± he asked.

    ¡°No, I have an interview, remember?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, I forgot. The scholarship, right?¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    ¡°You have everything you need?¡±

    ¡°All set.¡± I approached the house with the big ¦²¦³¦± carved in the stone. There were some clusters of men hanging out on the porch, talking. Most wore shirts with the same Greek letters.

    ¡°So, you want me to pick you up when it¡¯s over?¡±

    ¡°Sure. Thanks.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Love you.¡±

    ¡°Whatever.¡±

    ¡°Come on,¡± he chuckled. ¡°What, you¡¯re embarrassed?¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°I love you, too. I¡¯ll see you.¡±

    Now that I realized, it had been¡­ quite a while since I told any of my brothers I loved them. Even hearing it was rare. All Kyle and I talked about now was Diana and¡­ everything bad.

    I missed my brothers. I missed¡­ normal.

    ~~~

    Diana

    I felt terrible as I entered my third-period Biology class. It was Friday, and everyone was impatiently waiting for the end of the day to come along.

    I was more impatient than ever, since this would be my last day here. Over the weekend, I¡¯d transfer to Kooskia Online Academy, effective immediately. After Kyle told his parents everything, they thought leaving school was the best for me. It took a lot of crying and begging to convince them to not tell my caseworkers, though.

    I was giving up on everything. No one would see me walk these halls ever again. I was done. I¡¯d gotten the answers I wanted.

    I couldn¡¯t bring myself to tell anyone. I tried three times to tell Mildred on the bus today, but failed every time. And now I had to face Tony in Biology.

    He waved with a big smile when he saw me, increasing my guilt. I forced a small smile back and slipped into my seat.

    ¡°Hey,¡± he said, shifting in his seat.

    ¡°Hi.¡± I quirked a brow. ¡°Anything going on?¡±

    ¡°Uh, no. No. Just¡­ excited for the weekend, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, me too,¡± I sighed.

    ¡°Next week will be cool, too.¡±

    ¡°Next week?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s Homecoming. There¡¯ll be events all week.¡±

    Homecoming. I¡¯d completely forgotten. Somehow, all the banners and posters around school didn¡¯t catch my attention. Tommy and Harry had been talking about it, too; they were training long and hard for the big game against Lawson High School.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± Tony¡¯s legs bounced. ¡°Did you buy your ticket to the Homecoming Dance yet?¡± His fingers twiddled.

    ¡°There¡¯s a dance?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah. Yeah, next weekend. I can¡¯t believe you didn¡¯t know.¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°I guess it never came up.¡±

    ¡°There should be enough tickets left, though.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. I¡¯m not going.¡±

    ¡°Why? It¡¯ll be fun. You can go with someone you know¡­¡±

    I hesitated. ¡°Tony¡­¡± I¡¯m not coming to school anymore, was what I wanted to say, but I couldn¡¯t form the words. ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ you know¡­ with my reputation here, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a good idea.¡± That was half the truth, at least.

    ¡°You sure? Your other friends will be there, right?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I wasn¡¯t even sure if they were my friends. Blanche and Alma were using me as publicity the whole time. What if Thelma and Kate had ulterior motives? What about Mildred? They didn¡¯t get anything out of being friends with me except additional rumors about them. Why else would they want to be around someone like me?

    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    What if Tony was the same? Why would he endure his soccer team bullying him over being my friend? Was it all a charity case? Did people talk to me because they felt sorry?

    ¡°School dances just aren¡¯t my thing,¡± I told him.

    ¡°That¡¯s fine. The whole week will be fun, though. Your foster brothers are playing against Lawson, right?¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡± A bit of disdain crept into my voice at the mention. Those two blabbermouths weren¡¯t people I wanted to talk about.

    ¡°We can cheer them on together.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± I smiled thinly, guilt crushing my insides. I didn¡¯t know why I couldn¡¯t just tell him I wasn¡¯t coming back next week. The words stuck in my throat.

    Maybe I could go to that dance¡­ No, that was a horrible idea. I¡¯d probably end up like Carrie; people liked calling me that, anyways.

    His life would be a lot better. I always made everyone miserable.

    ~~~

    Kyle

    October 17<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    I stepped into the foyer with Jack. Looking in the dining room, Tommy, Harry, and Diana were seated at the table, which was nicely set. Mom and Dad were in the kitchen.

    Jack had canceled his work shift today, and I¡¯d left my Spanish class early. I was eager to get this dinner over with and get back to school for my other course. We went up to our room to change into something more decent.

    ¡°This is gonna go well,¡± Jack said as he also changed.

    ¡°We just have to not fight.¡±

    He scoffed.

    ¡°Jack, we don¡¯t have to act, or add anything extra, we just need some basic human decency. It¡¯s not that hard.¡±

    ¡°I guess you¡¯re right.¡± He buttoned up his shirt. ¡°You think she¡¯ll ask any questions?¡±

    ¡°Probably basic stuff. Shouldn¡¯t be a problem.¡±

    ¡°You think she knows about¡­?¡±

    ¡°I hope not.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s here!¡± Mom called. We rushed downstairs and sat at the table. The smell of lasagna filled the room, watering my mouth. I was starving.

    Mom came out of the kitchen, untying her apron and giving it to Dad. The doorbell rang. She took a deep breath and went to the foyer. Diana suddenly exhaled, her face noticeably paler than usual. In fact, she looked like she was going to be sick.

    ¡°You good?¡± I asked.

    She looked at me, raising a brow skeptically. ¡°I guess.¡±

    ¡°I was just asking.¡±

    Harry reached out and took her hand. She smiled, accepting his comfort. I pushed down the resentment and looked back as our guest entered.

    The room instantly felt cold. A shiver ran down my spine as I took in the sight of a woman in her 50¡¯s, salt-and-pepper hair tied up into a tight, neat bun. She was dressed in a blue business-casual suit, which was perfectly pressed, not a wrinkle in sight. She held a clipboard in her arm.

    Her eyes were of a warm golden brown, but her gaze was as cold and hard as a frozen lake. She was nothing like the first caseworker we met. I¡¯d forgotten his name, but he was a lot friendlier when he came over for the house inspection, before Diana came.

    ¡°Boys, this is Janet Bredlong,¡± Mom introduced her politely. ¡°Ms. Bredlong, this is our family.¡± She waved a hand towards us.

    Diana stood and smiled sweetly. I would have believed it if I didn¡¯t know her. ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you, Ms. Bredlong,¡± she said.

    She ignored her, her eyes slowly moving over us. My whole body was uncomfortably stiff. ¡°Please, take a seat.¡± Dad pulled out a chair for her.

    She nodded at him and sat down, looking pointedly at Diana, who also sat. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you,¡± she said, her voice like iron. It didn¡¯t sound like she was that happy to be here.

    ¡°We made some dinner for you. I¡¯ll bring it out.¡± Mom wrung her hands together, glancing at Dad as she went into the kitchen. Dad sat down stiffly.

    ¡°Mr. Field,¡± Ms. Bredlong addressed Dad. His back went rigid and he smiled politely. ¡°You¡¯ve had Diana for 62 days, correct?¡± she asked him, holding up her clipboard. She took out a pen and clicked it, making Diana flinch.

    ¡°Uh- yes.¡±

    ¡°How has the situation played out for you and your family?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been going well. Diana has been a great foster daughter,¡± he answered.

    ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°She¡­ she¡¯s given us some much-needed company. She¡¯s very sweet and bright. We¡¯ve enjoyed having her here.¡±

    ¡°My colleague, David Brian, has been in communication with Diana. He says she had a bit of¡­ trouble at the beginning, with your sons. Is that true?¡±

    I tried to hide my nerves. I bit my lips together, listening to Dad¡¯s answer. Diana started playing with her yellow sweater sleeves.

    ¡°It was more of an acclimation process. Our sons weren¡¯t prepared to have a foster sister, but they¡¯ve gotten used to her being around. They¡¯ve gotten along well.¡±

    There was silence as Ms. Bredlong scribbled in her clipboard. Mom came with some plates, setting them down in front of Ms. Bredlong and Dad. I glanced at Diana. Her face was still deathly pale and her hands were reddened. She kept playing with her sleeves.

    She always wore long sleeves. I never saw her with a T-shirt before. I always wondered why she¡¯d wear long sleeves, even when it was sweltering outside. Now I knew.

    ¡°What¡¯s your name, young man?¡± Ms. Bredlong eyed me. I glanced at Jack next to me and pointed at myself with question. She nodded. ¡°Yes, you.¡±

    ¡°Kyle, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°What were your first impressions of Diana? She resembles your late sister, am I right?¡±

    My stomach knotted as I nodded, breaking out in a cold sweat. ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am. Um¡­ I was kinda¡­ shocked at first? I didn¡¯t expect her to look¡­ so much like her.¡±

    Diana¡¯s gaze was fixed on her lap now. Mom served plates of lasagna to me and Jack. She glanced between us nervously.

    ¡°What about your brothers? What¡¯s your name?¡± She now looked at Jack.

    ¡°Jack. I, uh¡­ more or less had the same reaction. Our sister died a few months ago, so¡­¡±

    Ms. Bredlong wrote something else down. ¡°Would you say you have connected with Diana despite her resemblance to your sister?¡± Her tone was clinical, devoid of emotion or empathy.

    ¡°¡­ I¡¯d say yes,¡± Jack answered carefully. ¡°It¡¯s a bit hard, since she¡¯s in high school, and Kyle and I are in college. We usually have a lot of homework and stuff. But we talk when we have time.¡±

    Mom came in, now moving more stiffly, and gave Tommy and Harry their plates. Dad stood to help, but she motioned for him to stay.

    The lying was killing me, but I knew it was necessary. Before, I thought being honest would benefit us all, but seeing this woman now, I knew lying was all we could do for Diana¡¯s sake. As resentful as I felt around her, I didn¡¯t want this woman to re-assign her somewhere else.

    I saw her file only once, and only partially. That one glimpse of a page was enough for me to know that the system really screwed her up. It was no wonder she was doing this to herself.

    Guilt flooded me. I was so selfish. I should¡¯ve been¡­

    ¡°What year of high school is she enrolled in, Mr. Field?¡± Ms. Bredlong then asked as Mom came out with Diana¡¯s plate and her own.

    ¡°Second year.¡±

    ¡°And she attended school face-to-face?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± He took Mom¡¯s hand as she sat next to him.

    ¡°How long ago did she transfer to the online program?¡±

    ¡°Over the weekend. She started yesterday.¡±

    I glanced at Diana again. She stared at her plate, her entire body rigid. Mom cleared her throat. We took each other¡¯s hands, except Ms. Bredlong¡¯s, and prayed quickly. I forced myself to cut a piece of lasagna. My previously eager appetite was gone, my stomach clenching uncomfortably.

    ¡°Why did she transfer to the online program?¡± Ms. Bredlong asked. She put her clipboard down and started eating her lasagna, nodding at Mom. ¡°Thank you for the meal,¡± she said. Mom nodded back.

    ¡°She was, uh¡­ having some problems in high school. I think only she can tell you what exactly happened,¡± Dad said.

    ¡°What are your names?¡± Her attention was now on Tommy and Harry.

    ¡°Tommy, ma¡¯am. And Harry,¡± Tommy answered for them. Harry¡¯s jaw was wired shut.

    ¡°You attend the same high school, correct?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I¡¯m a senior and Harry¡¯s a junior.¡±

    ¡°What happened at school that made Diana want to learn at home?¡± She ate a piece of lasagna.

    She wasn¡¯t asking Diana anything. She wanted us to speak for her. It was almost as if she were pretending the girl wasn¡¯t here. That wasn¡¯t right. Diana was the only one who could express what she felt, not us.

    ¡°Well¡­ because of how much she looked like Amy, people at school were a bit¡­ affected,¡± Tommy answered truthfully. ¡°They spread a lot of rumors about us and Diana. So¡­ that can weigh down a lot on someone, you know? So Diana switched to online school.¡±

    ¡°Sh-she did make friends, though,¡± Harry hastily added. ¡°Right, Diana?¡±

    She nodded silently, smiling convincingly. ¡°Yeah. On the bus, I met Mildred. She¡¯s really cool.¡± She smiled, now genuine. I was amazed at how I could tell the difference. ¡°Actually, once, in the cafeteria-¡±

    ¡°Diana, was I talking to you?¡± Ms. Bredlong raised her brows, her tone condescending.

    I raised my brows. Diana instantly deflated and went silent, anger flashing in her eyes momentarily.

    ¡°Amy is your late sister, correct?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah.¡±

    ¡°Continue, Harry.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ w-well, I know she¡¯s made a lot of friends, but I couldn¡¯t really tell you a lot about them. They¡¯re Diana¡¯s friends, so¡­ she knows who they are.¡± He laughed nervously.

    ¡°Hmm.¡± She ate some more lasagna and swallowed, patting her lips clean with a napkin. ¡°Would you say Diana is more comfortable learning from home than at the high school, Mrs. Field?¡± She looked at our mom.

    Mom¡¯s eyes widened slightly. ¡°I-I¡­ yes, I¡¯d say so. It¡¯s only been since yesterday, so¡­¡±

    ¡°I have been feeling better at home,¡± Diana added.

    Ms. Bredlong wrote something else in her clipboard. ¡°She hasn¡¯t stopped the habit of speaking out of turn, I see.¡±

    I looked at Jack, who was thinking the same. What was this woman¡¯s problem? All these questions should¡¯ve been directed to Diana, not us.

    ¡°Would you consider Diana to be obedient?¡± she asked our parents.

    ¡°Oh, yes. She¡¯s a very respectful, polite girl. We¡¯ve never had a major problem with her,¡± said Mom.

    ¡°Have there been any disturbing habits she¡¯s taken? Any incidents related to her disorders?¡±

    Harry squirmed in his seat. Tommy patted his shoulder, giving him a look. I looked at the ceiling, praying they¡¯d keep their mouths shut.

    ¡°Recently, no,¡± said Dad. ¡°She does react to loud noises, like something dropping on the floor, or doors slamming accidentally. But nothing major.¡±

    ¡°At school, did she ever act up?¡± Ms. Bredlong was halfway finished with her lasagna. Everyone else had hardly taken a bite.

    ¡°Not that we know of.¡±

    ¡°Did you see her act up in school?¡± she asked Tommy and Harry.

    ¡°She¡¯s in a different year than us, so we didn¡¯t really see her,¡± Harry said. ¡°We did hear through other people that she acted up in class, but we don¡¯t really know if it¡¯s true.¡±

    ¡°Is it true, Diana?¡± Mom prompted her.

    Diana shifted. ¡°I did¡­ have a couple panic attacks in class, mostly from social anxiety. I didn¡¯t really know about Amy, so at first, I was anxious about people staring at me. After I found out, the rumors got worse.¡±

    Ms. Bredlong wrote some more in her paper. ¡°She didn¡¯t know about your daughter?¡± She looked at my parents with question.

    We all looked at each other, eyes wide. I cursed mentally. ¡°I-it was a hard subject to broach at first-¡± Mom started.

    ¡°We assumed her other caseworker had told her,¡± Dad quickly interjected.

    ¡°And how did she react when she was told? How did she find out?¡± Ms. Bredlong leaned forward with interest.

    ¡°Um¡­ she was¡­ pretty shocked. Harry told her about it. She¡­¡± Mom¡¯s mouth flapped.

    ¡°She was shocked, yeah,¡± Harry said. ¡°I stayed with her for a bit. It wasn¡¯t an easy pill to swallow.¡±

    ¡°So she found out by chance? You hid this from her?¡±

    ¡°Th-they just lost their daughter, so I don¡¯t really blame them,¡± Diana said. ¡°And like Davis said, they assumed Mr. Brian told me.¡±

    Ms. Bredlong sighed sharply, giving her a look. She quieted again and looked down. ¡°Sorry.¡±

    That was enough. ¡°Excuse me, Ms. Bredlong?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Kyle?¡±

    ¡°With all due respect, shouldn¡¯t you be asking Diana all this? There are some questions that only she can really answer. I¡­ personally think that her feelings about living with us should be more of a priority to know.¡±

    Everyone stared at me. Diana¡¯s sea green eyes were wide, boring straight into mine.

    Just like Amy¡¯s eyes.

    Ms. Bredlong¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°My job is to evaluate you objectively as a whole. I haven¡¯t finished my review yet, young man.¡±

    ¡°I understand that, ma¡¯am. I don¡¯t mean to undermine you or anything. I just found it¡­ weird that you were asking us questions about Diana¡¯s feelings. What she felt at school, what she feels with us here¡­ we don¡¯t know any of that for sure. She can give you an accurate answer to those questions.¡±

    Ms. Bredlong¡¯s teeth ground together and she huffed softly, curving her thin lips into a fake smile. ¡°You make a point. But¡­ she has a history of lying.¡± She glared at Diana. ¡°So I usually ask the family first to be sure that the stories line up.¡±

    Diana shifted, her jaw clenching. ¡°That was one time.¡±

    Ms. Bredlong scoffed. ¡°No, it wasn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m happy here, FYI, so I wouldn¡¯t lie.¡± She fiddled further with her sleeves, biting down tightly on her lip.

    ¡°Don¡¯t talk back to me.¡±

    Dad suddenly scrunched his brows in question, looking at Diana. It was a fleeting moment, but Ms. Bredlong saw it. ¡°What was that?¡±

    Dad went rigid again, as if responding to a drill sergeant. ¡°What was what?¡±

    ¡°That look on your face.¡± She imitated his expression. ¡°What was it?¡±

    ¡°Uh- nothing. I was just¡­ thinking¡­ about something.¡±

    A long, tense silence. Diana was squirming in her seat, now hiding her arms under the table and wincing a bit. Ms. Bredlong¡¯s cold amber eyes narrowed at her. My heart picked up speed and my mouth dried.

    ¡°Are you sure she hasn¡¯t picked up any habits while here?¡± she asked our parents.

    ¡°What habits do you mean, exactly?¡± Mom asked.

    ¡°You¡¯ve read her file. I¡¯m sure you know about her self-harm. She attempted suicide at age twelve.¡± The blunt nature of her words sent me into shock. Twelve? ¡°And she has a history of harming herself.¡±

    ¡°W-well, we know she¡¯s taking normal doses,¡± Mom said carefully. ¡°A-and we took her to the doctor¡¯s recently. He said she was fine. She was a bit underweight when she came, but now she¡¯s putting on some healthy weight.¡±

    ¡°Hmm. Be sure to take her again.¡± Ms. Bredlong wrote some more. ¡°We can¡¯t have any negligent behavior.¡±

    Diana scoffed, rolling her eyes. ¡°You guys never cared about ¡®negligence¡¯,¡± she said, making quotes with her fingers. ¡°Why do you think I did it in the first place?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t undermine me. Besides, we know you were trying to grab everyone¡¯s attention.¡±

    A deafening beat of silence passed over. All of us were in shock.

    ¡°I was what?¡±

    ¡°Mrs. Field, Mr. Field,¡± she nodded at our parents, ¡°I¡¯d advise you to be careful with Diana when it comes to issues like these. She has a history of chronic lying and has inflicted wounds on herself to either move out of a home or get attention. Her previous therapists have reported this behavior-¡±

    ¡°Yeah, because they¡¯re idiots!¡± Diana shouted.

    ¡°If I hear another word out of you, I¡¯m pulling you out whether you like it or not.¡±

    I stood at her words. ¡°Whoa, okay, I don¡¯t think-¡±

    ¡°Your defiant and erratic behavior need correction. Do you want that again, or do you really want to stay here? From what I¡¯m seeing here¡­¡± She crossed her arms, scanning us. ¡°There¡¯s something you¡¯re hiding.¡±

    ¡°I just hated school. That¡¯s out of the way,¡± Diana said, standing. ¡°I¡¯m happy here, okay? They actually treat me like a human being, unlike you and everyone else.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve always hated school, Diana. Why did you suddenly ask to go? And to the same school as your foster brothers? You could¡¯ve gone to another.¡±

    Diana paled, glancing at our parents. Ms. Bredlong turned her attention back to them. ¡°What did she say to you about school before the academic year started?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ well, at first¡­ she was pretty against going,¡± said Mom. ¡°But while she was looking up online schools, she looked at Summit¡¯s curriculum, and she came to our room to ask us to let her go with our sons.¡±

    ¡°Weren¡¯t you worried about how the other students would react? It¡¯s obvious they knew your daughter if she attended that school.¡±

    ¡°She insisted on going with them¡­ because she didn¡¯t want to be alone. She cried. We couldn¡¯t say no.¡±

    Ms. Bredlong raised a brow at Diana. ¡°And then you wonder why I believe you¡¯re a chronic liar.¡±

    ¡°I just wanted a change of pace. I thought it would be a bit different this time,¡± she explained.

    ¡°It clearly wasn¡¯t. And you kept going to school.¡±

    ¡°I just wanted to know why I kept getting those¡­ looks. I thought someone at their school would tell me.¡±

    ¡°When did you find out about your resemblance to Amy?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I dunno. Last month?¡±

    ¡°And you still went to school?¡±

    ¡°I had friends! Like Harry said. I¡¯m happy, okay?¡± Her tone was unconvincing, her acting skills fading as her frustration increased.

    ¡°If you¡¯re so happy, then why are you making such an effort for me to pull you out?¡±

    Her body tensed and trembled further, her skin reddening. ¡°I begged you to pull me out of the Masons¡¯, and the Goslings¡¯, and the Jaspers¡¯, and the Ellisons¡¯, and¡­ so many others¡¯, but you wouldn¡¯t! You kept convincing everyone that I was fine!¡±

    ¡°We needed to be sure you were telling the truth,¡± Ms. Bredlong replied coolly. ¡°You cried wolf a lot, and you still do.¡±

    ¡°Diana, could you please just calm-¡± I held out a hand, motioning for her to sit back down.

    ¡°You¡¯re the liar! You tell all the others that I¡¯m lying and you manipulate them, and I¡¯m the ¡®chronic liar¡¯?!¡± She then cursed.

    Ms. Bredlong stood, taking her clipboard. ¡°I think I¡¯ve gotten what I need.¡±

    Everyone was now standing. ¡°Ms. Bredlong-¡± Mom started.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if any of you are adequate for the care of this child. Especially if you are aiding and abetting her into taking advantage of this system.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not taking advantage of anything!¡± Diana yelled.

    Harry put his hands on her shoulders. ¡°Diana, please-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m staying here! If you pull me out, I swear I¡¯ll keep cut-¡± She choked.

    After a long pause, a smile slid onto Ms. Bredlong¡¯s face. ¡°I knew it.¡±

    Diana breathed heavily. The rage seemed to fade into panic. She shook her head, going up to her caseworker and gripping her arms. Her sea green eyes filled with tears. ¡°P-please¡­ I like it here. They¡¯re better than everyone else. Please.¡±

    ¡°Ms. Bredlong, we can explain-¡± Dad started.

    ¡°It was school. They did a bunch of messed-up stuff to her,¡± said Harry. ¡°But now she¡¯s out, so it¡¯s better¡­¡±

    Ms. Bredlong took Diana¡¯s hands off her. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it. In the meantime¡­¡± She took Diana¡¯s wrist, pulling her sleeve up. Everyone gasped at the damage done to her bandages, which were practically torn off. When did she¡­?

    Diana fell to her knees in tears. ¡°Please don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Well, it seems she¡¯s resumed. I didn¡¯t hear this from her therapist.¡± She looked at us pointedly. ¡°You could face serious legal consequences for negligence¡­ and withholding information.¡±

    Mom gripped Dad¡¯s hand. My neck ached with tension. ¡°W-we didn¡¯t know what to do. We didn¡¯t want to make anything worse. She begged us.¡±

    Ms. Bredlong let out a large sigh. ¡°Typical. I¡¯ll let you go. For now. I¡¯ll have to discuss this with everyone else.¡± Diana¡¯s gasping grew louder. She glanced down at her. ¡°Her self-harm needs attention, even so. How long?¡±

    ¡°We only found out last week,¡± Mom confessed. ¡°We thought pulling her out of school would be enough for her to improve.¡±

    Harry crouched next to Diana, wrapping his arms around her. Her body was faint and she was pale as a ghost, unable to breathe properly.

    ¡°Did any of you know?¡± Ms. Bredlong eyed me and my brothers like a hawk.

    I shook my head. ¡°We found out recently, too.¡±

    Harry sighed. ¡°We knew,¡± he said. ¡°She was scared she¡¯d be moved, so she asked us not to tell so she could stay.¡± Tommy covered his face in response, breathing tensely.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be sending a liaison to keep an eye on Diana. If she¡¯s legitimately hurting herself, she should be monitored.¡±

    Diana broke out of Harry¡¯s arms, her legs collapsing as she practically crawled up the stairs. Ms. Bredlong headed to the door. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I¡¯m out of time. I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t finish that meal¡ª it was delicious. I¡¯ll be in contact with you. Good day.¡± She looked pointedly at Dad. After realizing, he rushed over and opened the door for her. He closed it and leaned his forehead on the wood.

    What a disaster.

 18~ Watch

    Diana

    10.18.23

    Dear Diary, the ¡®liaison¡¯ came this morning. Ms. Bredlong sure worked fast. It wasn¡¯t too hard, I guess. Her name is Ms. Howells and she is just like Bredlong. It was unbearable when everyone left for work and school. It¡¯s just my luck that Kyle and Jack have busy days today. Tommy and Harry will be back at 1, so it¡¯s just the first half of the day she¡¯s here.

    I just had Geometry, and now I have a free period. Ms. Howells is sitting on my bed behind me. I can literally feel her eyes pinned on my back. It¡¯s like a sniper waiting until just the right moment to pull the trigger.

    My phone kept buzzing with messages, so she finally got sick of it and asked why I wouldn¡¯t answer. So I did. All my friends were asking if I was still ¡®sick¡¯, like I told them on Monday. I don¡¯t know why it was so hard to just tell them I switched to online school. I¡¯m such an idiot.

    So I finally told them today. Tony and Kate haven¡¯t seen my reply yet, but Thelma and Mildred did. They were pretty hurt that I didn¡¯t tell them anything. I just said I didn¡¯t want people talking about it at their school. Even though I¡¯m not a student there anymore, for some reason, I don¡¯t want people talking about the ¡®ghost girl¡¯ transferring out. I wanted a quiet exit.

    Anyway¡­ I should get something to eat before the warden asks me why I¡¯m not eating enough.

    ~~~

    10.19.23

    Dear Diary, I got a camera set up in my room. Last night, Susan slept in here on a mattress, but now she doesn¡¯t have to. I kind of wish she could, but I get it. She has to work¡­ like always. Both her and Davis are <u>always</u> working. I can tell that the boys are tired of them not being around.

    So now I have a camera that Ms. Howells uses to keep an eye on me at night until I fall asleep. I¡¯m taking melatonin now, that way I can sleep early and she doesn¡¯t have to watch me the whole night. Then during the day, she comes here and watches me do everything. Even change or go to the bathroom. No matter how many times I tell her I¡¯m uncomfortable, she insists that ¡®I brought this on myself¡¯. I¡¯ve felt like punching her.

    I¡¯m hoping Jack comes back from work early. He and I don¡¯t talk much or anything, but he¡¯s better than this vulture.

    ~~~

    10.20.23

    Dear Diary, I¡¯m ripping this page out as soon as I¡¯m done. I just wanted to let my anger out for a bit.

    I caught Ms. Howells READING MY DIARY. I took a nap during my free period, and when I woke up, she was sitting at my desk, reading everything. Obviously, I got mad, but she kept saying it was ¡®her business now¡¯ and that she had to make sure I wasn¡¯t ¡®writing anything disturbing¡¯. WTF. I¡¯m writing this right now while she¡¯s writing her little report. She¡¯s all mad because I was calling her names and stuff. What does she expect when she¡¯s such a miserable old hag?

    ~~~

    10.20.23

    Dear Diary, I¡¯m having a very productive day today. I had my AP Literature class, which is my favorite. It¡¯s a one-on-one class; no other students. The teacher gives me the lecture and I take notes, do exercises, how you do.

    Admittedly, it¡¯s a bit lonely. I do miss my friends. I used to have Cooking class on Fridays. I liked that class, despite how tough the teacher was.

    I feel a bit disappointed that I missed Homecoming Week at Summit High. It sounded so fun, too. Tommy and Harry are playing against Lawson today. I hope it goes well. I asked Kyle and Jack if they did the same thing, and they said their Homecoming was during the first week of October. Jack played in the games there, too. It sounded pretty fun.

    Either way, I guess my experience would¡¯ve been ruined by bullies at school, so I know this is the best for me.

    Dr. Cawman will be coming over later. Maybe that¡¯ll cheer me up. She¡¯s a lot better than my previous therapists.

    ~~~

    10.21.23

    Dear Diary, it¡¯s the weekend, so the Fields went out for lunch. They made Kyle and Jack skip work and everything. We went to a place called Rita¡¯s Pancake House. It was very delicious. Ms. Howells tagged along, too.

    It was a lot more bearable with the family around. Now that the brothers and I have gotten along better, I¡¯m actually starting to have fun being around them. They¡¯re a bit tense with Ms. Howells around, though.

    ~~~

    I¡¯m going to write this while Ms. Howells isn¡¯t here.

    I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER. I don¡¯t understand why she had to come to lunch with us. Weekends should be her days off. The family¡¯s here watching me, so why should she be around?! I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. Every time I have a panic attack, or anxiety attack, or burst into tears for whatever reason, <u>she¡¯s there</u>. And I HATE IT. She keeps asking why, what I¡¯m thinking about, like she wants to dissect my brain or something.

    This is going to take FOREVER. She keeps threatening to take me to the hospital instead, always saying that I should be ¡®grateful¡¯ that I¡¯m at home. Always blaming me. It¡¯s always my fault.

    ~~~

    10.22.23

    Dear Diary, it¡¯s Sunday. The family wanted to go back to their church. I don¡¯t trust religious stuff a lot, especially after that time I stayed with the Leedas, so I didn¡¯t really want to go. They were okay with leaving me home, but then Ms. Howells would have to come over. I wound up going to church. Better than staying with her.

    Big mistake. The entire congregation knew Amy, and on top of that, the family¡¯s been the biggest gossip of their lives. We wound up leaving because I had a panic attack.

    We got home just in time, though. I got my period today. I¡¯m in huge trouble now. The past two months, I¡¯ve stayed in my room until I stopped bleeding (I faked sick last month so I wouldn¡¯t go out). But now, I can¡¯t be alone. It¡¯s so embarrassing. Every time I have my period around people, something horrible happens. And with a family like this?! Five men?! It¡¯s humiliating. Thank God Ms. Howells is a woman. It¡¯s still embarrassing, but not as bad as it usually is.

    ~~~

    10.23.23

    Dear Diary, I had a productive school day today. I had Biology first. I miss seeing Tony at school. It¡¯s a bit weird, how similar my schedule feels to my old one.

    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    I¡¯d say Monday is the ¡®boring¡¯ day. Biology, Geometry, Government¡­ no fun classes like ASL or Literature. I guess that¡¯s Monday for you.

    Susan and Davis stayed home today, which I¡¯m happy about. I think I¡¯ve started to get along better with them. I¡¯m definitely not as angry as I was before. Totally not.

    ~~~

    10.24.23

    Dear Diary, I just wanted to express my profound appreciation for Ms. Howells. She really is a great worker. I fell and bruised myself today, and she was <u>very</u> worried. She thought I had done it on purpose. It was an accident, but I understand. She just wanted to be careful.

    I really do appreciate her. She cares a lot about me, despite how much I¡¯ve lied and faked situations in the past to get out of homes and situations I didn¡¯t want to be in. I¡¯ve felt lonely, but she¡¯s around, so at least there¡¯s someone in the room with me¡­ all the time. Very happy. I feel like now I¡¯m getting better. I don¡¯t feel the need to hurt myself anymore. My cuts are healing up. Just a couple more days, and the bandages will come off.

    The doctor thinks I¡¯m doing better, too. We went yesterday. Ms. Howells was very interrogative. She practically hammered the doctor with questions. Silly Ms. Howells. She just wants the best for me. She wants me to have a good life. That¡¯s why she¡¯s so overprotective! I feel terrible about what I said about her before. I wasn¡¯t appreciative. Now I am!

    ~~~

    October 25<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    ¡°Cook.¡±

    I did the sign for ¡®cook¡¯, following the instructor on the video.

    ¡°Bake.¡±

    I copied the sign for ¡®bake¡¯.

    ¡°Stir.¡±

    My phone buzzed, briefly distracting me. I paused the video and checked. I¡¯d been added to a group chat called ¡®Girlies <3¡¯ by Thelma on FamiliarFaces.

    I bit my lip. I didn¡¯t like group chats. But they were my friends, right?

    Opening it, I read the incoming texts. ihavetoomanyAPs (Thelma Williams): ok i added her

    Kate_T_Jacobs536 (Katelyn Jacobs): yaay

    ihavetoomanyAPs: imma add mildred too i forgot

    I swallowed and nervously texted, ¡®Hi¡¯.

    ihavetoomanyAPs: hi Diana

    im sorry i got so mad at u last week

    have u been doing ok? we havent talked in a while.

    Sunflowergirl3482: Doing good, bit boring.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to the bathroom,¡± Ms. Howells announced behind me. ¡°Don¡¯t do anything stupid.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be here,¡± I sighed. It was a miracle she was even leaving.

    ¡®ihavetoomanyAPs (Thelma Williams) added dawsonaction (Mildred Dawson) to Girlies <3¡¯

    ihavetoomanyAPs: hi Mildred this is Thelma

    We met at the dance on friday

    dawsonaction: bout time yall added me

    ihavetoomanyAPs: sry i forgot, i only made the group yesterday

    It was good to know the other girls had met Mildred.

    idkwtdwml (Blanche Parsons): whos Mildred? (nervous laughing emoji)

    Blanche?! What was she doing in here? Did Thelma not know what happened?

    alma_santiago2860 (Alma Santiago): dianas friend from her bus. we met her at the dance.

    Alma was here, too?

    idkwtdwml: oh ok. i didnt go. nice to meet u @dawsonaction

    dawsonaction: im sorry gurl but what is that username? (laughing emoji) not to be mean

    idkwtdwml: ur good. and idk, i made this acount when I was like 12 lol

    I put my phone down. If Blanche was in this group, I didn¡¯t want to be a part of it. She was probably fishing for another chance to get the big ¡®scoop¡¯ for her club.

    I squirmed uncomfortably. It was about time for me to change, but Ms. Howells was still in the bathroom. Maybe I could go downstairs.

    I stood, stretching, and crouched to fish my pads out from under my bed. Susan had been kind enough to buy me plenty of them, without the men knowing. They were stashed under my bed.

    As I rose, the sudden whoosh from standing up made me stumble backwards. My pile of diaries on my desk fell to the floor. I sighed, putting my pad in my pocket, and picked them up. One of them flipped open.

    Thursday, 11/05, 2020

    Dear Diary¡­ Marco came to see me last night. I thought maybe he wanted to apologize for what he did yesterday. But instead

    I closed my eyes, but it was too late. My head whirled and I stumbled, as if going through a portal. The diary fell to the ground.

    ¡°Pathetic.¡±

    I turned with a gasp, finding no one. Who said that?

    ¡°Why did I even give you a chance?¡±

    Oh, God, no. It was happening again. They were back. They were gone¡­ they had stopped.

    ¡°You¡¯re so ugly and skinny. Every time I kissed you, I wanted to retch. And you were so desperate.¡± He chuckled.

    Turning, I saw his familiar form materialize in front of me. There he was; tall, dark, and handsome. The man I loved. The man I thought loved me. He would bring me comfort and make me feel¡­ worth it.

    He strutted towards me. I backed away, gasping when I hit a wall behind me. His hands flanked my head and he leaned closer to my face. I could feel his warm breath.

    ¡°Either way¡­ as plain Jane as you are¡­ you could give me a good time,¡± he said.

    My head shook ¡®no¡¯. I heard myself speaking, but I didn¡¯t feel like my mouth was moving. ¡°P-please¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry. I can¡¯t do this.¡±

    His strong, rough hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing harder and harder. I couldn¡¯t breathe. ¡°You can do this. And you will.¡±

    ¡°Please¡­¡± I heard myself whispering through my pressured airways. ¡°Y-you promised.¡±

    ¡°Promised what?¡± His voice held so much hatred and spite.

    ¡°You said¡­ you said¡­¡± I pulled at his wrist, gasping for air. ¡°You said you wouldn¡¯t¡­ do anything I¡­ didn¡¯t want to.¡±

    ¡°And I didn¡¯t. But enough is enough.¡± He pulled me closer, still holding me by the throat. My airways were completely cut off as my feet hung, my toes barely touching the floor. Being as thin and light as I was, it was easy for him to lift me.

    His mouth stopped next to my ear. ¡°I want you to do this. And you will.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ want to¡­¡± I squeaked.

    ¡°I know.¡±

    His hand released me, throwing me onto the bouncy cushion. I gasped deeply, coughing. He didn¡¯t give me any time to recover, his weight already pressing onto me, suffocating me. I couldn¡¯t move. I couldn¡¯t fight or scream. My mouth was sealed and his hands were on me¡­

    Then he was gone. I gasped, sitting up. My entire body trembled. Looking down, my pants were stained with blood. I felt my pockets for my pad. I thought I still had one on!

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you fight harder?¡± another voice came.

    I exclaimed, frightened, and backed into my bookshelf. In front of me was a girl, maybe around 14. Her hair was disheveled and her clothes torn and tattered. It took me a few moments to realize that was¡­ me.

    ¡°Why weren¡¯t you stronger?!¡± my younger me yelled. Her face was soon covered with tears as she fell to her knees. ¡°You should¡¯ve fought better! I would¡¯ve been okay! He would¡¯ve still loved me!¡±

    ¡°B-but¡­ but he never loved you¡­¡± I found myself saying.

    She screamed to the point I had to cover my ears. Her scream faded into a loud ringing. I closed my eyes, clutching my head at the pounding headache. I heard voices all around me.

    ¡°Diana? It¡¯s Susan!¡±

    Opening my eyes, I found green eyes staring into mine. I swallowed and regained my bearings. I was sitting on my bed. My diaries were still on the floor. Ms. Howells stood behind Susan. ¡°I¡­¡± I was still having trouble breathing. I touched my neck, checking for a bruise, but I didn¡¯t feel anything.

    ¡°Sweetie, what happened?¡± She took me into a comforting embrace.

    ¡°They¡­¡± My eyes watered. ¡°They came back¡­¡±

    ¡°Who came back, honey?¡±

    ¡°He¡­ he¡­ I can see it now. I can see it. I stopped and I can see it again! I saw me!¡± I went limp in her arms, letting her hold me close. I knew she didn¡¯t understand, but I couldn¡¯t explain any more.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, sweetheart. It¡¯s okay. I¡¯m here.¡± Her hand smoothed my hair, bringing comfort, but I couldn¡¯t stop crying.

    Davis entered. ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°She had a panic attack,¡± Susan told him. She looked at Ms. Howells. ¡°Where were you?¡±

    ¡°In the bathroom,¡± Ms. Howells replied coolly. ¡°Diana, what were you doing?¡±

    I shook my head, still unable to speak. Susan responded for me. ¡°Why are you assuming she did anything?¡±

    ¡°She must have done something to trigger this attack. Check her arms.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s wearing a T-shirt,¡± Davis pointed out.

    ¡°If you think she did something, then look at your camera app,¡± Susan said, stroking my hair. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have left her alone in the first place. You should¡¯ve come to our room and told us you were leaving. That¡¯s your job.¡±

    Silence. ¡°I apologize,¡± Ms. Howells gritted out after a while.

    I finally started regaining my breath. I stayed in Susan¡¯s arms, finding great comfort. Even though I still held a lot of resentment against her, I needed the hug.

    ¡°Mrs. Field, you should check your foster daughter¡¯s body for other injuries she may have inflicted,¡± Ms. Howells said, her tone flat and stone-cold. ¡°I see a stain on her shorts.¡±

    My eyes snapped open and I looked down. Sure enough, there was red.

    ¡°That¡¯s her period,¡± Susan said defensively. ¡°You dolt,¡± she added under her breath.

    I pushed away from Susan, the panic returning. ¡°I¡¯m sorry! I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± I must have stained the bedsheets. Davis was still at the doorway, watching with confusion.

    ¡°Honey, it¡¯s okay. You don¡¯t have to-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± I ran out of my room and to the bathroom. I closed the door and slid to the floor, crying in shame. He¡¯d seen it. They all saw it.

    Everything was coming back and getting worse¡­ how long could I go on?

 19~ Genuine

    Tommy

    October 18<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    I was dressed completely in yellow for today. On Monday, it was Pajama Day, so I wore a plain T-shirt and checkered pants¡ª basically Mom¡¯s nightmare. Tuesday it was Tie Dye day, and I tried to make a shirt¡­ didn¡¯t really work out, since Harry and I started shooting paint at each other and they made us leave.

    It was Wednesday now, and Spirit Day was pretty big at Summit. Underclassmen wore blue and the rest of us wore gold or yellow. The cheerleaders and dance team were in uniform the whole day. There were tables and rooms reserved for games, like water balloon fights in the gym, bounce houses outside, and the big Homecoming Parade. The Homecoming Court was announced just yesterday.

    It was fun during freshman year, but after all 4 years, it got pretty tiring. Same stuff, nothing new. All I anticipated was the game.

    My foot bounced and I continuously glanced at the clock, waiting for Pre-Calc to finish. After this, I was to head to the locker room and change for football practice, then appear in the parade. The rest of my class also seemed anxious, filling the room with tension.

    The bell rang and many of us flinched, but our professor believed in ¡®The bell doesn¡¯t dismiss you, I dismiss you¡¯. What was the point of having a school bell, then?

    He erased the board slowly, obviously teasing us. I impatiently tapped my pencil on my desk. Everyone cursed under their breath and desperately looked at the door.

    The professor then chuckled. ¡°Alright, alright, you can go.¡±

    We all burst into action, hurriedly packing our things and heading out. The men¡¯s locker room was pretty far, so I walked at a fast pace. My phone buzzed urgently in my pocket. I pulled it out, expecting a call screen, but instead saw a series of messages from Shirley.

    TommyFieldsBaby: Tommy bearrr what r u doing??

    Babe r u ok?

    Why arent u answering?

    U better not b w those s¡ªy cheerleaders!

    Tommy this is why i hate homecoming

    Pls answer

    Baby!!

    Geez, it was only a few seconds!

    ¡°Hey, babe,¡± I recorded. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I was in Pre-Calc. I just got out. And no, I¡¯m not with any cheerleaders- I don¡¯t even know any of them. Relax. I¡¯m going to the locker room, I have practice, okay? Love you.¡±

    I didn¡¯t really blame her distrust after what I did. Prank or not, the truth came to light when Diana shared those things. I¡¯d been avoiding them, but sometimes, I couldn¡¯t help but look at them when I was stressed. It was like they gave me energy to get through the day. I didn¡¯t know what else to do.

    Harry was already changing when I entered the locker room. Most of the other guys were there, too. To my relief, our star quarterback wasn¡¯t here just yet.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Harry asked me.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You looked upset.¡±

    I did? ¡°Uh¡­ nothing.¡±

    ¡°Shirley?¡±

    My shoulders tensed. ¡°She just texted me, that¡¯s all. We weren¡¯t fighting.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± he said doubtfully.

    ¡°Could you mind your own business, pringle?¡± I felt bad for snapping at him, but he had the same problem as all my brothers. They were always so nosy when it came to Shirley. They wanted to frame her as the reason for all my problems. And that wasn¡¯t true.

    ¡°Sorry.¡± Harry turned away, putting on his shoulder pads.

    Guilty, I was about to apologize, but got startled by someone shouting, ¡°I¡¯M GETTING SOME TONIGHT!¡±

    Great. The quarterback was here.

    I turned. Lucas waved at a group of girls out in the hall and came into the locker room with a confident stride. That smirk was ever-present on his face. Some of the guys cheered for him, others wolf-whistling after the girls left.

    ¡°Hey, Tommy.¡± He approached me. I put on my best fake smile. ¡°I heard your other sister isn¡¯t here anymore,¡± he followed.

    My jaw clenched. ¡°She¡¯s my foster sister, and yes, she left.¡±

    ¡°Why is that?¡± His brows frowned in fake concern.

    ¡°She¡­ just didn¡¯t want to be here.¡±

    ¡°I heard she was doing some messed up stuff.¡±

    I glared at him. ¡°Like what?¡±

    ¡°Your girlfriend told me she was being all suicidal.¡±

    She talked to Lucas?

    ¡°I don¡¯t see how that¡¯s any of your business,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°Not talking to you, shrimp.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t talk to him like that,¡± I defended him.

    Lucas chuckled. ¡°I was just asking. What¡¯s got you two so angry, huh? If that¡¯s true about her being like the girl from The Tapes, shouldn¡¯t she be with someone? She¡¯s not alone at your house, right?¡±

    We ignored him.

    ¡°I can always keep her company if you want,¡± he followed.

    A furious, enraged fire ignited within me. It took me a lot of strength to not turn and punch him after that tone in his voice. I contented myself with, ¡°Jump off a cliff.¡±

    He held up his hands, chuckling. ¡°Whoa, there. I was just asking as a concerned friend of yours. We are friends, right? It¡¯s all water under the bridge?¡± He patted my shoulder. ¡°I mean, you guys are great team players. I know I¡¯d miss you if you ever left.¡±

    Harry only shook his head, putting on his socks. I sighed. ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re friends, Lucas,¡± I forced out. ¡°Sorry. We¡¯re both just really tense and stressed.¡±

    I promised Amy I¡¯d never speak to him again¡­ I¡¯m so sorry, baby. He was a trash person, but he and Coach were pretty close, and he was the captain of the team this year. Football was what Harry needed for college, and with both his and my success¡ª and scholarship, hopefully¡ª he could make it.

    Harry and I endured football practice, concentrating on the excitement of the festivities instead of Lucas. Diana also plagued my mind. I texted her a few times during breaks, and while she had a positive tone, I still worried. With that woman around, she was bound to get more and more upset.

    I wiped my sweaty forehead with a towel. The Homecoming parade was starting soon, so I had just enough time to shower and put on my official football uniform. My phone buzzed again. Sighing, I prepared for another rant from Shirley, but instead found a messaging request.

    t_lowe450 (Tony Lowe) wants to chat with you.

    Tony¡­ Diana¡¯s friend? Hesitantly, I accepted. Hi Tommy this is Tony, Dianas friend

    tomarthurfield: Hey Tony whats up?

    I wanted to ask you something, he said. diana just told me she transfered to online school?

    Yea she did, I replied.

    How is she?

    Why dont u ask her yourself?

    I did but she doesnt say much. im worryed

    Worried how?

    Ik shes been thru a lot, he said. The typing indicator toggled a few times. I felt bad that shes not going to the dance this weekend. i was hoping ill go w her. A few more pauses. I feel bad that shes all alone now, so i thought we could surprise her? me and her other friends?

    My brows were knitted as I asked, surprise her how?

    My sister gave me an idea that I should go over and dance w her. like privately. Without the rest of the school there.

    Privately? I didn¡¯t like the sound of that.

    Not privately like all alone, but not at school is what i mean

    Oh.

    Idk when but i can see when all of us can go over, maybe on a weekend

    That was¡­ pretty cool of him. I hadn¡¯t really gotten to meet him directly, but he seemed like a nice person overall. This would give me the chance to evaluate him, though¡ª obviously, he liked Diana.

    Her friends want to get her a dress and stuff, he continued. So we thought they could do her hair and stuff, and after, i can show up and dance w her

    Is this a date? I asked.

    The typing indicator flashed a few times before he answered. im not trying to get anything from her, i just felt bad about her being alone, and we wanted to do something special for her. we know shes been thru a lot

    My heart softened a bit. It felt good knowing Diana had found great friends like these. But even so, I wanted to be cautious. Thats really cool of u tony. Yea sure, u can do that. Ill talk to my other bros about it

    Cool, he said. if u want, I can meet up w u and ur brother after the parade today?

    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Yea that sounds good. in the parking lot?

    He sent a thumbs-up.

    Okay, now we could really meet him. Maybe this way, Diana could really be¡­ happy. This could remind her that she had people who cared about her.

    And hopefully, that woman could leave soon.

    ~~~

    Diana

    October 28<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    Saturday. A day of freedom for most. For me, it was a day of staring at the ceiling.

    Improvement was an illusion. That was what I discovered the past week. No matter what I did, what I tried to do, nothing would ever get better. It didn¡¯t matter. Nothing mattered.

    I could block everyone out of my life, let them into my life¡­ none of that would make a difference. It would never change anything or make anything better. This feeling would remain.

    I turned my head, eyeing my prescribed antidepressants on my side table. I scoffed. What useless things.

    They would come of use soon¡­ very soon. But not just yet.

    I didn¡¯t know what was keeping me here. There was something¡­ maybe I still had that ridiculous, na?ve hope of everything getting brighter and happier. I still held on to that unattainable dream. And yes, there would be moments when I felt happy and comfortable, feeling like maybe life was worth it¡­ only for something else to slam into me and prove me wrong.

    I was so¡­ tired. I wanted to sleep¡­ and never wake up.

    Briefly, I checked FamiliarFaces. All my friends¡¯ pages were filled with pictures of Homecoming¡ª except for Tony¡¯s, strangely. Thelma, Kate, and Mildred were posing together in a selfie, looking gorgeous in their dresses. I sighed, putting the phone down.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to do something?¡± Ms. Howells asked, looking at her phone.

    Her voice alone irritated me. I didn¡¯t know why she was here on a weekend. It was like she couldn¡¯t stand not having complete control of my life.

    ¡°Like what?¡± I said.

    ¡°Anything of interest to you. Or your homework.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel like it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just going to lie there?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s what I want to do. Lie here and not think. So let me be.¡±

    ¡°Your defiance is getting out of hand,¡± she warned.

    ¡°Oh, what are you going to do? Put me in a hospital?¡± I looked at her challengingly. ¡°I don¡¯t care. Do what you want. Not like I can fight back.¡±

    A knock sounded, thankfully. ¡°Diana?¡± I lifted my head, seeing Davis staring back at me. ¡°Your friends are here.¡±

    ¡°My friends?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t remember their names.¡± He chuckled sheepishly. ¡°But they want to see you.¡±

    Hesitantly, I rose from the bed. What were they doing here? Ms. Howells followed close behind as we went downstairs.

    Mildred, Thelma, Kate, Blanche, and Alma all stood in the foyer, talking to Susan, Kyle, and Jack. Alma had a backpack on. Thelma smiled when she saw me, nudging the others. They seemed a bit curious at Ms. Howells¡¯ presence, but didn¡¯t ask any questions.

    What were Blanche and Alma doing here? And why were they dressed so fancy? And Mildred, Thelma, Kate¡­ they were wearing their dresses? From Homecoming?

    ¡°Hey, guys¡­¡± I patted my hair down self-consciously. They all looked so gorgeous, and here I was in dirty sweats and an oversized hoodie¡ª oversized because I stole it from Jack. My hair was probably like a bird¡¯s nest and my face was as unattractive as usual.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Thelma drew out, hugging me.

    ¡°What are you guys doing here?¡±

    ¡°Hey, that¡¯s my shirt. Why are you wearing my shirt?¡± Jack pointed at me.

    ¡°Jack, shh.¡± Susan patted his arm.

    ¡°But she has my shirt-¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t even like that shirt,¡± Kyle pointed out. He then looked at the girls, narrowing his eyes. ¡°Are you going to tell her why you¡¯re here?¡±

    The girls seemed a bit intimidated by his glare, remaining silent.

    ¡°We¡¯ll be in the kitchen,¡± said Susan, leading Davis and the boys away. They seemed to want to protest, but remained silent, reluctantly following her out. Jack looked back at us suspiciously.

    Those two were so weird¡­

    ¡°So¡­ what¡¯s up? What¡¯s with the dresses?¡± I asked. ¡°They¡¯re really pretty, by the way.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± said Blanche.

    I cast a quick glance at her, still a bit off-put at her presence. ¡°Um, so¡­ what are y¡¯all doing here? It¡¯s Saturday¡­ and late.¡±

    Tommy and Harry came downstairs. They were a lot more pleasant towards the girls than the older two. ¡°Hey, guys,¡± said Harry. His face instantly turned red and he shifted. ¡°You look great.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± they all said.

    ¡°Are you planning on taking Diana out tonight? If you are, she¡¯s your responsibility,¡± Ms. Howells suddenly said. ¡°I¡¯d prefer to accompany you.¡±

    The girls looked at each other, stammering. I could feel my cheeks burning. ¡°Sorry. Um¡­ she¡¯s just here to watch me. She¡¯s kind of in charge right now,¡± I explained.

    ¡°Oh. Uh, th-that¡¯s fine. W-we¡¯re not t-taking her out o-or anything,¡± Kate said.

    ¡°So what¡¯s the occasion? You seem pretty nervous.¡±

    ¡°She has a stutter.¡± I glared at her, even more embarrassed. ¡°Sorry, Kate.¡±

    ¡°Y-you¡¯re good. W-we wanted to ask you¡­¡± Kate went into the living room, coming back with a bag. She lifted it, revealing a yellow dress. It was vintage-style, like the 50¡¯s.

    I approached it, my hand reaching out. My fingertips took in the feeling of the smooth fabric. ¡°What¡¯s¡­ this for?¡±

    ¡°For you,¡± Thelma said simply. She also went into the living room and came back with a pair of golden heels.

    ¡°Wha- guys¡­ I don¡¯t get it. Where are we going?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not going anywhere,¡± said Alma.

    ¡°Then?¡±

    ¡°D-do you like the dress?¡± Kate asked.

    ¡°I mean¡­ I love it. It¡¯s beautiful. But-¡±

    ¡°Great.¡± Kate took my hand, leading me upstairs. The other girls followed, Thelma with the shoes.

    ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing?¡± Ms. Howells stopped us.

    ¡°Ms. Howells, they have our permission.¡± Susan approached. ¡°They wanted to do something nice for her.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you inform me of this little¡­ whatever it is?¡±

    ¡°It was a surprise.¡±

    ¡°You guys knew?¡± I exclaimed.

    ¡°Yeah, we knew,¡± Davis laughed. ¡°They¡¯ll keep an eye on her.¡±

    The girls pulled me further upstairs. ¡°Wh-what are you doing?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re going to do your hair and makeup,¡± Thelma said.

    ¡°But what-¡±

    ¡°Just trust us.¡±

    Trust them? Doubt filled me as they dragged me to my door. ¡°No- guys, you need to tell me what you¡¯re doing.¡± I pulled my hand away from Kate, stopping them. ¡°Please?¡±

    They glanced at each other. Thelma took my hands comfortingly. ¡°We felt bad about you being here all alone for so long, so we decided to do a little¡­ Homecoming of our own, in your backyard.¡±

    It took me a minute to process her words. ¡°Wait, what? As in¡­ here? How?¡±

    ¡°All we needed was music and your outfit.¡±

    ¡°Did you pay for this?¡± I pointed at the dress.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± She pushed me into my room.

    ¡°Whoa- wait- how- slow down!¡± I was confused as they sat me down in my office chair and Alma took off her backpack. She brought out a bunch of makeup bags and hair tools.

    ¡°Relax, Di, it¡¯s just a fix-up,¡± said Kate.

    ¡°But- ow.¡± My head jerked back as a comb got caught in my knots.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± said Alma.

    ¡°She needs to put on the dress.¡±

    ¡°True. Di, go to the bathroom and put this on.¡± Thelma handed me the dress and shoes. ¡°Also wash your face, then come back here.¡± She ushered me out of my chair and towards the bathroom.

    ¡°But, wait-¡±

    ¡°Hurry up!¡± She pushed me through the door.

    Confused, I just followed along and put on the dress. Looking in the mirror, I scrunched up my nose. It was beautiful, but I didn¡¯t do it justice. I turned on the sink and scrubbed my face clean.

    What was all this? They got this¡­ for me? It just¡­ they couldn¡¯t have. They were crazy. There had to be some kind of joke involved. Blanche and Alma had something up their sleeve. What if they were all teaming up with Ivy? Or Shirley?

    Did Susan and Davis know? They said they did. The way Jack looked at us, did he know something? Susan seemed okay with it. But they could¡¯ve lied to her. In any case, they were here if anything happened.

    But if anything happened¡­ in front of Ms. Howells¡­ they weren¡¯t that stupid. They would¡¯ve backed out of their plan, right?

    I wanted to trust the girls, but this was too much.

    A knock startled me. ¡°Diana! Come on, w-we have to do your hair!¡± Kate called.

    I dried my face and opened the door, my guard steadily rising. She sighed at the sight of me. ¡°That dress really suits you,¡± she said.

    ¡°Thanks¡­¡±

    Her smile suddenly disappeared. I froze, gulping. What was it? I looked ugly, didn¡¯t I? She was regretting it. The whole thing was canceled.

    ¡°I-I guess you forgot the j-jacket,¡± she pointed out.

    I looked back at the hanger, and sure enough, the jacket was still there. My arms were bare, showing my bandages. My mouth dried. I slowly put the jacket on, my heart rate sky-high.

    ¡°There. You look perfect,¡± Kate said. ¡°L-let¡¯s get your hair done.¡± She smiled, as if nothing had happened. She led me back to my room.

    Notwithstanding my confusion and paranoia, I sat in my chair and let the girls fuss over me.

    My head jerked back a few times, accompanied by painful stings in my scalp, and followed by ¡®sorry¡¯ every time. Kate and Thelma were the ones brushing while Blanche and Alma did my makeup. One second, I was being dabbed with foundation, the next, a blush brush tickled my cheeks.

    The confusion was nearly overwhelming, but while I felt anxious, I wasn¡¯t panicking. They were noticeably excited, which scared me a bit. I just had to hope I was right about trusting them.

    ¡°It¡¯s just you guys, right?¡± I asked. ¡°You didn¡¯t bring anyone else?¡±

    ¡°Shh, don¡¯t talk.¡± Alma carefully lined my eyelids. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s just us¡­ and someone else.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    There it was. That was the big prank, wasn¡¯t it? They¡¯d bring Shirley or someone else to taunt me.

    ¡°You¡¯re gonna love it, trust me.¡± I could feel Thelma tying my hair up.

    Blanche positioned a paper towel under my eyes, holding the mascara brush up. ¡°Blink slow.¡±

    I did so. ¡°Can you give me any hints?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s k-kind of obvious if you think about it,¡± said Kate.

    Obvious? How was it obvious? It was exactly what I thought, wasn¡¯t it? I was tempted to break away and tear off whatever Thelma had put in my hair. I didn¡¯t want to let them hurt me. I didn¡¯t want to be betrayed again.

    ¡°You¡¯ll spoil the surprise,¡± Alma whined. ¡°We¡¯ve been planning this all week.¡±

    ¡°Sorry. She keeps asking.¡± Kate patted my shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t worry so much, Di. We promise y-you¡¯ll like this.¡±

    She sounded genuine, but¡­

    ¡°Okay, all done.¡± Thelma took my hands and steered me to the bathroom again. ¡°Voila!¡±

    Looking in the mirror, I saw a stranger¡¯s face staring back. She was¡­ pretty. Very pretty. The eyeliner made her eyes brighter, her cheeks weren¡¯t sullen and pale, and her lips popped in red. Her blond waves cascaded down, with large braids surrounding her head like a crown.

    This wasn¡¯t me. This¡­ couldn¡¯t be me.

    This could be Amy, though. Maybe this was really how she looked. In the pictures, she was like me, but so much prettier.

    ¡°How did you do this?¡± I approached the mirror, still doubting what I saw.

    ¡°You look so beautiful!¡± Alma squealed.

    ¡°H-how did you¡­ change my face?¡± I touched my cheeks, unsure.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ pretty.¡±

    ¡°Of course you¡¯re pretty!¡± Thelma leaned her chin on my shoulder.

    I could feel the genuineness, a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I still didn¡¯t want to completely fall. This wouldn¡¯t be the first time sweet words like this were used as bait.

    The doorbell rang downstairs. ¡°Hi! Come on in!¡± Susan said. ¡°Girls, he¡¯s here!¡± she then called.

    ¡°Who¡¯s here?¡± I started panicking.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go!¡± The girls pulled me down the stairs.

    ¡°W-wait, but who¡¯s here? Who is it? Guys?¡±

    I got my answer when I reached the landing. For a moment, the world stopped as I took in the sight of him in a blue blazer and black pants, a sunflower boutonniere in his pocket. His normally messy curls were brushed, still playful, but not reckless. His cheeks glowed more than ever with a blinding smile.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Tony said, waving shyly. I noticed the box in his hand, which contained a sunflower. ¡°Happy belated Homecoming,¡± he added.

    I smiled a bit, still unsure if this was a dream. Maybe I fell asleep after lying in bed for so long. Maybe this was some crazy fantasy.

    ¡°This is for you.¡± He stepped forward, opening the box. The sunflower inside was actually a bracelet¡­ no, it was a corsage.

    I glanced at Susan, who excitedly recorded everything on her phone. ¡°I¡¯m not here.¡± She jerked her head at Tony so I could pay attention. I only stared as he put the corsage on my wrist.

    ¡°Mom, I was thinking-¡± Kyle stopped. His jaw flapped as the atmosphere grew awkward. ¡°Um¡­ sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to¡­¡± He noticed Tony and smiled, approaching us. ¡°You must be Tony.¡±

    Yeah, this definitely wasn¡¯t a dream.

    Kyle shook his hand firmly. ¡°Nice to meet you. You¡¯re Diana¡¯s friend, right?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±

    ¡°You guys close?¡±

    We glanced at each other. ¡°Kinda,¡± said Tony, smiling at me. My knees weakened.

    ¡°Hey, Dad, did you meet Tony yet?¡± Kyle called into the kitchen.

    ¡°Kyle!¡± Susan scolded.

    ¡°What? He should meet everyone, shouldn¡¯t he?¡±

    Davis and Jack came into the foyer. Davis was a bit less domineering as he shook Tony¡¯s hand in greeting, smiling nicely. Jack, on the other hand, didn¡¯t even smile as he also shook his hand and scrutinized him silently from head to toe.

    Tony wasn¡¯t intimidated in the least, at least not outwardly. He kept an easygoing smile and was very polite to all three of them.

    ¡°So Diana¡¯s your date, right?¡± Kyle crossed his arms.

    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s my Homecoming date.¡± He shrugged modestly. ¡°I just didn¡¯t like the idea of Diana being here all alone. She needs to see more people that care about her.¡±

    Blood rushed to my cheeks.

    ¡°Where¡¯d you get the dress?¡± Jack asked bluntly, still glaring at him. Susan went up to him and nudged him scoldingly.

    ¡°That was me.¡± Thelma raised her hand. ¡°Well, all of us. I remembered what Diana¡¯s favorite color was, and Tommy gave us some tips, too.¡±

    ¡°You paid for that?¡±

    ¡°Obviously not,¡± said Susan. ¡°I did.¡±

    My head spun a bit. This was unbelievable. They did all of this for me? There had to be something behind it¡­ some catch for their benefit.

    ¡°Diana, are you okay?¡± Alma approached me with concern.

    Realizing I was frowning, I relaxed my facial muscles. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± I began. ¡°I¡­ don¡¯t really understand.¡±

    ¡°Understand what?¡±

    ¡°You guys got a dress-¡­ and shoes¡­ for me. You fixed my hair and gave me a total makeover. What is all this for?¡± Ms. Howells narrowed her eyes at the girls after my question.

    ¡°For your missed Homecoming,¡± Blanche said obviously, laughing. ¡°We wanted to show you a good time.¡±

    ¡°But why¡­¡± Why do you care? I wanted to ask it, but I didn¡¯t want to sound rude. Susan would scold me, too.

    ¡°Diana, you¡¯re our friend,¡± Thelma said. ¡°We care about you. You went through a lot of stuff at school, and it probably gets lonely here taking online¡ª I mean, we all went through 2020.¡± The others murmured, some nodding in agreement. ¡°You said you¡¯re only staying here a few months. So, why not make the most out of it?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t say anything. They¡­ really meant this. They wanted to make me happy. They¡­ liked me.

    ¡°Di, it¡¯s okay! Don¡¯t cry.¡± The girls surrounded me in a warm embrace. Blinking, I realized tears were running down my cheeks.

 20~ Under the Stars

    Susan had made us all meatloaf for dinner. The boys were surprisingly nice to me tonight. Kyle had been less cold since Ms. Bredlong came, and Jack had become sort of neutral, but they actually talked to me tonight, even smiling every now and then.

    After dinner, the older boys and their parents left us alone. We went out to the backyard, where all the lights were on and the pool had the cover over the water. Thelma had brought a Bluetooth speaker so we could play some songs and dance together, like at a normal dance party.

    I could¡¯ve done without Ms. Howells standing there glaring at us the whole time, but I did my best to ignore her.

    It was such a perfect night. A beautiful, clear, starry sky¡­ a light, playful breeze¡­ cool air. Fireflies accompanied us in our dance under the stars, flashing their golden light for us.

    For a while, we just waved our arms and bounced to many party songs from our childhood, singing along. Many of us were¡­ not great singers, but the tone-deaf harmony made it all the more hilarious. We took what felt like hundreds of selfies and videos.

    ¡°I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying, ¡®Ayo, gotta let go¡¯¡­ I wanna celebrate and live my life, saying, ¡®Ayo, baby, let¡¯s go¡¯¡­¡± We clapped when the song ended later.

    ¡°Okay, another selfie. Everyone get over here!¡± Mildred waved at everyone to approach. We all forced our cheeks into a smile as she stretched her arm out as far as possible to fit us all in.

    A familiar tune came on the speaker and Thelma whooped. ¡°I LOVE THIS SONG!¡± she said for all of us.

    Tony took my hands, pulling me into another dance. We all crowded together to sing along. ¡°Makin¡¯ my way downtown, walkin¡¯ fast¡­¡± I spun around, letting out a giggle. ¡°And I need you, and I miss you, and now I wonder¡­¡±

    Tommy left us a few minutes into the song, his feet literally killing him, but the rest of us stayed for a long while, well after midnight. I hadn¡¯t stayed up this late in¡­ not that long, but long enough to not be used to it anymore. Ms. Howells was now seated, looking exhausted.

    I was obviously fine, so why couldn¡¯t she just¡­ leave?

    We got to a slower song. Most of the girls were exhausted, going to rest. Mildred and Harry were somehow still standing, along with me and Tony. Harry looked at Mildred with shyness, blushing hard. ¡°You want to dance this one?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Yeah, sure, why not?¡± She happily put her hands on his shoulders. I bit my lip, resisting laughter. Harry was making his crush quite obvious. I wondered if Mildred felt the same.

    ¡°Oh, they say people come,

    Say people go,

    This particular diamond was extra special¡­¡±

    The song was beautiful, accompanied by smiles and playful twirls.

    ¡°And though you might be gone,

    And the world may not know,

    Still, I see you, celestial¡­¡±

    I stole a glance at Harry and Mildred. While Harry looked practically enamored, Mildred was treating the dance like a game, even dipping him and giggling.

    After the song ended, Mildred and Harry rested, leaving me and Tony alone. He looked at me. ¡°You want to dance this one?¡±

    ¡°I found a love¡­ for me¡­¡±

    Suddenly, I couldn¡¯t look in his eyes. I nodded hastily, lowering my gaze to his feet. My cheeks heated as he took my hand and put his other hand on my waist.

    ¡°Darling, just dive right in¡­ and follow my lead,

    Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet¡­¡±

    I could feel everyone¡¯s eyes on me, particularly the brothers¡¯, as we circled. I caught Thelma recording us, bringing me more anxiety.

    ¡°I never knew there was a someone waiting for me,

    ¡®Cause we were just kids when we fell in love,

    Not knowing what it was¡­¡±

    Tony gently twirled me around so I was facing away. He pulled me close, whispering the lyrics under his breath. Goosebumps erupted as his breath caressed my neck.

    ¡°Darling, just kiss me slow¡­¡±

    I was scared¡­ but it wasn¡¯t the same kind of scared. I didn¡¯t feel like I was running for my life. I didn¡¯t feel the same way I did when someone raised their hand to slap me. There was no anticipation.

    What was this? It was so confusing. It wasn¡¯t what I felt with Marco¡­ no, this was¡­ more relaxing? Comforting? It felt¡­ true.

    That was what scared me the most.

    I could feel my body tensing, tempted to pull away, but I couldn¡¯t. He looked so happy dancing with me, and I admitted, I felt amazing dancing with him. The more amazing I felt, the more scared I felt. It was so contradictory. An internal paradox.

    ¡°Baby, I¡¯m¡­ dancing in the dark¡­¡±

    I soon forgot about the eyes and cameras on us. The backyard dissipated into nothingness. It was just me and him, circling slowly, his arms around me. Our feet moved in sync, our hearts beat faster, and our eyes remained connected. It was like a whole other world.

    ¡°Barefoot on the grass¡­

    Listening to our favorite song¡­¡±

    There was hope. I didn¡¯t have to leave¡­ not yet. They were worth the chance. Once I moved out, I wasn¡¯t sure what I¡¯d do, but this house was worth the risk. It was worth enduring life, at least a bit longer.

    ¡°I have faith in what I see,

    Now I know I have met an angel in person¡­¡±

    The end of the song came sooner than I expected. Tony¡¯s face was just inches from mine, our lips parallel to each other as we circled.

    ¡°I don¡¯t deserve this,

    You look perfect tonight.¡±

    The claps and whoops from our friends pulled us back to reality. My heart kickstarted. Once I realized how close we were, I quickly pulled away. Momentarily, the panic set in, all the memories with Marco flooding into my brain. The way I saw him just a few days ago¡­ so real and so¡­ Tony wasn¡¯t like that, was he? He wouldn¡¯t have planned all of this for one kiss, right? No way.

    This was¡­ this was okay. I was happy. He wasn¡¯t trying anything. I was sure¡­

    An awkward atmosphere settled as I came to, everyone staring at me. Tony was red, standing frozen. Ms. Howells stood in alert. I paled, then heated up. ¡°I-I¡­ I¡¯m sorry, I¡­¡±

    ¡°I think that¡¯s enough for tonight.¡± Ms. Howells approached. ¡°Thank you for your gesture, but it¡¯s time you go back to your homes.¡±

    ¡°Wait, why?¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°She¡¯s obviously distressed.¡±

    ¡°N-no¡­ I¡¯m fine. It was just¡­ I¡¯m fine.¡± I swallowed.

    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    ¡°Miss, she¡¯s happy, I mean-¡± Mildred started.

    ¡°Does she look happy?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine, okay? I said I¡¯m fine,¡± I insisted.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be the judge of that. It¡¯s 2 in the morning. You should be going to bed, anyway. You missed your meds.¡±

    The mention of my medications sent me into an embarrassed freeze. I glanced between my friends and my liaison. ¡°Y-you can¡¯t just stop us like that!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m only doing what¡¯s best for you. Sleep deprivation isn¡¯t good for someone in your condition.¡±

    ¡°Condition? It¡¯s one night! And I¡¯ve gone for weeks without sleep in the past, and I¡¯m fine!¡±

    Ms. Howells scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re fine? If you were ¡®fine¡¯, I wouldn¡¯t be here!¡±

    ¡°Then just go away! You hate your job, obviously.¡±

    Inside, the older two brothers came into the kitchen, hearing the argument. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Kyle asked.

    ¡°Diana¡­¡± Thelma approached, calming me down. ¡°It¡¯s okay. She¡¯s right. Um¡­ we should be getting home. It¡¯s late, and¡­ my mom¡¯s probably gonna kill me. I¡¯m an hour over curfew.¡± She smiled unconvincingly.

    ¡°I¡¯ll call a Rideshare for you.¡± Ms. Howells brought out her phone.

    ¡°Um¡­ it¡¯s fine,¡± Tony said. ¡°I have a car. I¡¯ll take everyone home.¡± He looked absolutely crestfallen as he went inside.

    Ms. Howells glanced at him distrustfully and headed inside the house. I followed her, outraged. ¡°It¡¯s not even a school night! Why are you-¡±

    She whirled around. ¡°Listen to me, you little brat. I¡¯m trying to protect you! Don¡¯t you get it?! I saw the way you looked there! If you¡¯re getting a panic attack, then you need time away! Got it?!¡±

    I stared at her. There was a dead silence in the room.

    ¡°Yeah, yell at someone who¡¯s having a panic attack. Real smart,¡± Mildred said.

    ¡°Excuse me?¡± Ms. Howells glared at her.

    ¡°The girl¡¯s having a panic attack, and you¡¯re yelling at her? I¡¯m sorry, ma¡¯am, but that¡¯s not how you do it.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not having a panic attack. She had one. She¡¯s used to yelling. That won¡¯t do anything.¡±

    The argument continued, but I zoned out, my ears deafening themselves. She¡¯d just ruined¡­ everything. I ruined¡­ everything. Just like I always did. I looked back at my friends¡­ my first real friends in forever. All they did for me¡­

    I ran upstairs, ignoring everyone calling my name. I always ruined everything. I always made everything worse. I was such a¡­ pest.

    ~~~

    ¡°I was having such an amazing time. I haven¡¯t felt that happy in¡­ forever. Then I overreacted, and she came in, and¡­ everything just went down. Ruined.¡± I was lying on my bed while Dr. Cawman sat in my desk chair.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say ruined. You did make a lot of happy memories,¡± she said.

    ¡°Yeah, but she messed it all up.¡±

    ¡°Diana, don¡¯t let that taint the other memories. Did you talk to your friends the next day?¡±

    ¡°I was too embarrassed.¡± I rubbed my eyes.

    ¡°Diana, if your friends are as kind as they are, they understand. That wasn¡¯t your fault,¡± she reassured me.

    ¡°We were just dancing, and¡­ and then I got all nervous. Like I always do. The coward I am, getting scared for everything.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not a coward.¡±

    ¡°So what am I?¡±

    ¡°You are a completely normal girl who¡¯s been through a lot. It¡¯s your fear of intimacy. And considering what you¡¯ve experienced, it¡¯s only logical. You were actually pretty brave, dancing a slow song with a boy you like.¡±

    ¡°I just wish I hadn¡¯t¡­ you should¡¯ve seen his face.¡± I recalled the pallid complexion, his chocolate brown eyes wide with disappointment and a bit of fear. The humiliation he must¡¯ve felt¡­

    ¡°Well, talk to him, Diana. Communication is key in this situation. I know you struggle when it comes to social situations like these, but this is something you need to face if you want to keep your friendship with this boy.¡±

    ¡°What do I even say to him?¡±

    ¡°Tell him you had a great night, that you enjoyed your time with him and your other friends, and that you appreciate he did all this for you. Tell the others that, too. The tension will release when you reassure them you¡¯re okay.¡±

    I stared at my phone on my side table, next to my pills. It had been eerily silent all day yesterday and today. The last text I got was from Thelma, who apologized about what happened before she went to bed.

    ¡°They¡¯re just waiting for your word. They probably don¡¯t know what to say, either,¡± Dr. Cawman prodded. ¡°They know you¡¯re being monitored, so maybe they don¡¯t want to get you in trouble.¡±

    I sat up and took my phone, staring at the screen. The lock screen was a plain old landscape and the home screen was a photo of me¡­ not the most appropriate one. I wasn¡¯t dressed weirdly or anything, but I made a gesture that Susan and Davis would disapprove of if they saw it. Not that they would yell at me, but they wouldn¡¯t like it. Their house, their rules.

    Maybe it was best to change it. Just out of respect. Despite our history, they were trying to make up for it. They even tried covering for me when Ms. Bredlong came. Not many families were willing to do stuff like that, not if it didn¡¯t benefit them somehow.

    I picked one of the dance¡¯s group pictures for my home screen and a picture of just me in my dress for my lock screen. Never thought I¡¯d like a picture of me.

    ¡°I should text them all one-by-one, right?¡± I said.

    ¡°Probably best,¡± Dr. Cawman said.

    ¡°Should I voice?¡±

    ¡°Whatever you feel comfortable with.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll text.¡± I hated my voice.

    Hi, Thelma, I just wanted to thank you again for Saturday and apologize for the way it all went down. I feel bad for not texting you sooner¡­

    Hi, Mildred, I¡¯m sorry I haven¡¯t texted you since Saturday. But thank you so, so much for what you did. I haven¡¯t felt that happy in a long while¡­

    Hi, Kate, just wanted to thank you for Saturday. It was such a sweet gesture¡­

    Hi, Blanche, I wanted to thank you for coming on Saturday¡­

    Hi, Alma, I¡¯m sorry I haven¡¯t texted until now¡­

    I stared at Tony¡¯s username. My mouth went dry as I slowly tapped on the letters, hoping he wouldn¡¯t see it right away. It said he was active 3 hours ago, so maybe he was busy.

    Hi, Tony, I never thanked you for the great time|

    Nope, that sounded weird. I quickly erased the message.

    Hi, Tony. I¡¯m sorry I never texted you sooner. I wanted to thank you for what you and the others did on Saturday. You guys really made me so happy, and it was something I needed desp|

    No, not desperately. That made me sound¡­ well, desperate.

    It was something I needed. I haven¡¯t felt that happy in a long time. It was so much fun. Thank you for taking the time and effort to do something so special for me. I know I probably seemed like an ingrate, leaving you hanging all weekend. I¡¯m sorry.

    ¡°Um¡­ should I apologize?¡± I asked Dr. Cawman.

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°You know, getting all weird when we were dancing.¡±

    She smiled tenderly. ¡°Diana, you don¡¯t have to be sorry. And if Tony¡¯s your friend, he¡¯ll understand. Just tell him how grateful you are and that you hope to get together with him again.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to sound like I¡¯m asking him out¡­¡±

    ¡°Then with him and the other girls.¡±

    ¡°But I don¡¯t want to friendzone him. That¡¯ll hurt him worse.¡±

    Dr. Cawman laughed. ¡°Then just say you¡¯d like to do something similar again.¡±

    I nodded, taking a deep breath and resuming my text. I would love to do this again someday. We need a better ending (nervous laughing emoji). Ms. Howells should stop coming soon enough, so then I¡¯ll be free. Thank you again. I hope you¡¯re having a good Monday! (smiley)

    I handed the phone to Dr. Cawman. ¡°How¡¯s this?¡±

    She read through my text, reading under her breath. She nodded approvingly. ¡°I think you¡¯ve got it.¡±

    I took the phone back. With a deep breath and a gulp, I sent it. I quickly got out of the chat before he could text me back. In the chat list, I saw Thelma¡¯s highlighted with @ihavetoomanyAPs is typing¡­

    I went into her chat just as she finished. hey Diana! u dont have to be sorry girlie, its all good. im happy u had a great time! all of us did!

    The next message was a voice message, so I played it. ¡°Actually, I was hoping you were free tomorrow. It¡¯s Halloween. I know your family doesn¡¯t celebrate it¡ª I don¡¯t really ¡®celebrate¡¯ it, per se, I just go for the candy. But I was thinking maybe you could ask your foster mom if you could come trick-or-treating with me? I¡¯m babysitting my cousins tomorrow night. Not that I¡¯m asking you to babysit with me, I just thought it would be cool if we could hang out tomorrow. The other girls can¡¯t make it, but you can invite Tony if you want¡­¡± Her voice carried a teasing lilt at the end.

    I giggled a bit, replying. That sounds fun! I just need to know where to meet you and what time.

    She replied with another recording. ¡°I can go by your place and pick you up,¡± she said. ¡°We can go get your costume on the way, too. I know this is last-minute, so if you don¡¯t want to get a costume, it¡¯s fine. We¡¯re heading out around 5:30. Let me know if you can, okay? Love you, girlie!¡±

    ¡°That sounds fun,¡± Dr. Cawman said.

    ¡°You think it¡¯s a good idea?¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s a great idea. You¡¯ll be with your friend, you¡¯ll get a bunch of candy. Just be careful what houses you go to, ¡®kay?¡±

    ¡°Let me ask Susan.¡± She was at work late today, so I texted her.

    ¡°You seem a lot happier with your friends around,¡± Dr. Cawman pointed out.

    ¡°Sorta, yeah.¡±

    ¡°Or are you happier having your own space?¡±

    ¡°Bit of both. Although, it¡¯s not really my own space with you-know-who around. I can¡¯t wait until she leaves.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m wondering that myself. I feel like she¡¯s been monitoring you too long. I can talk to your caseworkers if you want. I¡¯ll tell them you¡¯ve improved¡ª you really have.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Dr. Cawman. It would be a lot better without her. She¡¯s just so¡­ mean,¡± I sighed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what went through their minds. Her conduct is¡­ it¡¯s unacceptable, the way she treats you. There¡¯s only so much I can do, though.¡±

    ¡°I know. It¡¯s always been like that. They¡¯re always saying it¡¯s my own fault for being so¡­ whatever.¡±

    ¡°None of this is your fault, Diana.¡± Dr. Cawman¡¯s alarm then went off. ¡°So, it¡¯s exactly 24 hours before your trick-or-treating with Thelma,¡± she playfully said, rising from the desk chair.

    ¡°Do you have to go?¡± I looked at her pleadingly.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Diana. She¡¯s only here for another hour, though. How about you go downstairs with the boys? They¡¯re playing videogames.¡±

    ¡°Nah, it¡¯s fine. I¡¯ll just do homework.¡± I went to my desk chair.

    Dr. Cawman gave me a tight hug. ¡°Tell me all about it on Wednesday, okay?¡± She pulled away. ¡°You¡¯re doing great.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Dr. Cawman.¡± I sat down in my chair. I looked at the new home screen photo on my phone. Mildred had taken the selfie with my phone. Thelma was hugging me tightly, Kate was making a peace sign, and Blanche and Alma were squeezing in, their cheeks pressed up against each other. Tony was behind me, standing on his toes to be seen, and raising his fists.

    I should¡¯ve appreciated them more. At school, I was always so distant. It was a wonder how they grew to care about me instead of just giving up. I kept thinking they would turn on me at any time.

    If only I could spend more time with them¡­ I had plenty of opportunities when I used to go to school there.

    The door opened, revealing Ms. Howells, who went to sit on the beanbag chair in the corner.

    And the angel switched places with the devil.

 21~ A Haunting Face

    10.31.23

    Dear Diary, today is Halloween. Every Halloween is, naturally, the scariest day of the year, what with all the other families doing horrible things to me every year.

    But I¡¯m with the Fields now. The boys and I have gotten along better. It should be fine. Still, I won¡¯t trust them fully today.

    The Fields don¡¯t celebrate Halloween, but Harry told me they usually would prank each other¡ª kind of like April Fools¡¯. I haven¡¯t pranked the boys, though. Every idea I had seemed too exaggerated or horrible to me. I guess I haven¡¯t had a good influence.

    One good thing came out of this; Ms. Howells is coming late today, so she won¡¯t be by until noon. And I¡¯ll be free from her earlier than usual! She should be leaving soon.

    Thelma¡¯s coming by tonight so we can go trick-or-treating. I haven¡¯t done it in years, so Susan let me, but I have a curfew. I¡¯m very excited to get some candy!

    Sincerely,

    Diana.

    I put down my pen and took a deep breath. I knew the brothers wouldn¡¯t do anything too horrible, but still¡­

    Susan and Davis did plenty of fun, fall-themed things instead of Halloween. We¡¯d picked and carved pumpkins so she could bake pumpkin pie for us, and put up fall decorations around the house. Small things, but fun things.

    Cautiously, I turned my doorknob and peeked out of my room. The hall was empty and the boys¡¯ bedrooms were closed. I tiptoed out, keeping my eyes open for anything suspicious. So far, everything seemed normal.

    I went to the bathroom as usual. When I opened the door¡­

    ¡­ a large, fake tarantula fell down, hanging in front of me.

    I stepped back in surprise, but snickered. This was the prank? Really?

    When I turned on the light and looked in the mirror, I saw Jack jump out behind me in a makeshift clown suit. I burst out laughing. His evil smile vanished and he took off his clown wig. ¡°Wha- ugh, this was for Harry, Diana!¡± He sighed in annoyance.

    ¡°Not gonna lie, that¡¯s pretty pathetic,¡± I said, arching a brow.

    ¡°He hates spiders and clowns,¡± he said. ¡°I know this looks stupid, but trust me, he¡¯s a wimp.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a little cruel,¡± I commented.

    ¡°It¡¯s a thing with us. For example, two years ago, Kyle blindfolded me in my sleep, and I woke up thinking I went blind.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re afraid of going blind?¡±

    He blushed. ¡°No¡­ I¡¯m¡­¡± He scratched his head. ¡°I don¡¯t like¡­ the dark.¡±

    My brow raised. ¡°You¡¯re afraid of the dark? That explains your nightlight¡±. I glanced behind him as Kyle snuck up to him. He put his finger to his lips as he took out what looked like a fake syringe.

    Jack noticed my gaze, though, and followed it. He yelped at the sight of the needle and ran away. Kyle laughed. ¡°You are a serious wuss,¡± he said, going to the bathroom and smacking the fake spider out of the way.

    ¡°Hey, wait, I was going in there.¡± I tried to step inside.

    He held me back by the shoulder. ¡°Too slow.¡± He closed the door.

    I scoffed. Rude. I went downstairs instead. While relieving myself, I heard more screams and laughter, feet running across the hall above.

    These guys were so weird¡­

    I came out of the bathroom, only to see Jack¡¯s clown face barreling towards me. I flattened myself against the wall, startled, as he ran outside. Harry came after, holding an umbrella as he chased him.

    Wait¡­ that was my umbrella.

    ¡°Harry!¡± I ran after them, going out to the backyard.

    They ran in circles, Harry holding my umbrella like a hammer. ¡°I¡¯m gonna pound your rainbow wig into your skull!¡± he shouted. Jack was laughing hysterically as he avoided him.

    ¡°Harry, that¡¯s my umbrella! Give it-¡± My foot slipped. I yelped as I wheeled my arms and fell backwards, awaiting the impact of the floor.

    Instead, I felt the impact of the pool water.

    I instantly seized up, unable to move as I drifted underwater. I couldn¡¯t do anything. I couldn¡¯t swim up. I could only hold my breath and wait.

    It took me back 10 years, in the worst way possible. I could hear their laughter, feel their hands around me. Maybe that was why I couldn¡¯t move. They were holding me down.

    They were right there with me, pressing my head into that bucket. I waited for them to pull me out, but they didn¡¯t.

    I looked down into the never-ending depths. I could see¡­ a person? A girl. A little girl, sinking deeper and deeper. Her sea green eyes stared up at me, pleading, begging for help. I found myself swimming down, reaching out to grab her small hands.

    Her hands then gripped my arms and she pulled me close, staring into my eyes. ¡°You should¡¯ve fought harder,¡± she whispered to me. She then tugged me and kicked me into the depths below, floating above me as she watched me sink.

    As my vision darkened, I heard a splash above. Hands gripped my wrists and pulled me up. I was limp, so I didn¡¯t fight back. I couldn¡¯t. I wasn¡¯t sure what I wanted to do.

    Cold air hit me as I gasped, coughing. My body trembled violently as I crawled onto the floor. A hand patted my back. Instinctively, I jumped away, crawling backwards.

    ¡°Diana, it¡¯s okay! It¡¯s me, it¡¯s okay.¡± My vision focusing, I saw Harry crouched at my eye level, his shirt taken off and his body covered in water. ¡°Can you breathe? Are you okay?¡± He cautiously approached me.

    I looked around, recollecting the backyard. Jack stood a few feet away, also worried. He held his wig and Harry¡¯s shirt. Looking behind me, I saw Susan and Davis running out, Kyle and Tommy following. ¡°What happened?¡± Susan asked.

    ¡°Diana fell into the pool,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°Are you okay, sweetheart?¡± She crouched and took my hands, which still trembled. She gently pulled me to my feet, though my jelly-like legs made it hard to stand.

    ¡°Diana.¡± Davis cupped my face, focusing me. ¡°Are you okay?¡± he asked clearly.

    I swallowed and nodded. ¡°I, uh¡­ I need to¡­ change.¡± I shivered at the cold Fall air.

    ¡°Do you need anything?¡±

    ¡°No, I just need¡­ new clothes.¡± I walked inside. Remembering Harry, I looked back at him. ¡°Th-thank you, Harry. Thank you.¡±

    He nodded, but he didn¡¯t look convinced that I was okay. I wasn¡¯t. But I didn¡¯t know what else to do.

    ¡°Wait.¡± Harry went and picked up my umbrella from the floor. ¡°I¡¯ll go upstairs, too. I need to change.¡± He grabbed his shirt from Jack. I nodded and continued walking. It was almost like nothing around me was real. It was weird.

    ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay?¡± he asked me.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I never know.¡±

    He took my arm and led me upstairs. I blankly took my umbrella when he gave it to me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Diana,¡± he started, still standing at his door.

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, it was an accident.¡± I smiled at him to reassure him and closed the door. I¡¯d be okay soon. I just had to focus on something else¡­

    The trick-or-treating. Yeah. That would be fun. That was something positive and good.

    ~~~

    ¡°Three for Spider-Man, three for Mr. Cupcake, three for Barbie, and three for Carrie. Happy Halloween!¡± The candies all dropped into each person¡¯s bags with a rustle.

    ¡°What do you say?¡± Thelma said to the two kids she was watching.

    ¡°Thank you!¡± they both said, beaming at the homeowner with smiles.

    ¡°You¡¯re welcome.¡± The woman smiled back. ¡°Have a good night!¡± She closed the door as we left her porch.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    ¡°Did I already tell you that I love your costume?¡± Thelma told me as we walked back onto the crowded street. She tipped back her cowgirl hat.

    ¡°Yes, like a thousand times,¡± I chuckled.

    When I attended Summit, I had many names. But one of them fit today¡¯s theme quite well, and gave me a good costume idea than this morning¡¯s.

    After school, Susan took me to a costume store nearby. I bought a simple, light pink dress, a toy princess tiara, and red paint to pour over me. It was uncomfortable and sticky at first, but it eventually dried and became part of the costume. Susan even helped put on smudged mascara to make it look like I¡¯d been crying.

    We went up to the next house, our candy bags growing full. We would go to about four more houses before heading home in time for my curfew. The house was a small, green one, looking sort of decrepit. It seemed¡­ haunted. The homeowners probably went out of their way to make their house look spooky.

    Thelma knocked on the wooden door, the paint peeling off. ¡°Trick or treat!¡± we all said.

    The door opened a few seconds later. When I saw the homeowner, I really started feeling the Halloween spirit.

    Oh, my God¡­

    There was no way. No way. I had to be dreaming. No. No way. This couldn¡¯t be happening.

    His face was burned into my memory. This was definitely him. He was supposed to be in jail. How was he here? How did he end up so close to me?

    We were standing here, face to face, 12 years later. My past came back to haunt me.

    He scratched his potbelly, which somehow got even bigger. He wore a tattered wifebeater and his beard had grown. He forced a smile and sifted through a bowl of cheap candy, giving each of us two pieces.

    Not wanting to be obvious, I held out my hand for my share, keeping my gaze down. I couldn¡¯t risk him recognizing me. I put the candy in my pocket instead of my bag.

    ¡°Happy Halloween.¡± He smiled at us.

    ¡°Thank you!¡± the kids said along with Thelma.

    Before he closed the door, he hesitated and looked at me. My stomach jumped and I kept looking at my shoes.

    ¡°Hey, you¡­ Carrie.¡±

    I stopped. Slowly, I turned around, glancing up at him.

    He tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. ¡°Have we met before?¡±

    No way does he recognize me. No way. ¡°N-no, sir, I don¡¯t think so,¡± I said, feeling myself shaking.

    ¡°You sure? I feel like I know you.¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    He stared at me for what seemed like forever. It was like my nightmare was coming true. Maybe it was.

    Thelma glanced between us, sensing the situation. ¡°Happy Halloween, sir.¡± She led the kids away. He slowly closed the door, his eyes never leaving me.

    I ran down the steps and speed-walked down the sidewalk. Thelma followed as fast as she could, coaxing the kids to hurry. When we were far enough, I finally started breathing.

    ¡°Diana?¡± She came up to me. ¡°What happened? Are you okay?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s¡­ h-he¡­ Did they¡­?¡± I ran my hands through my painted hair.

    ¡°What? Who?¡±

    ¡°Him! My uncle!¡±

    ¡°Your uncle?¡±

    ¡°This can¡¯t be¡­ no way. And he recognized me? After 12 years?¡± I struggled to breathe, my vision spinning.

    ¡°Okay, Diana, calm down.¡± Thelma took me by the shoulders, glancing at the children, who were wide-eyed with curiosity. ¡°Do you want to¡­ call the cops or something?¡±

    ¡°No, no. They¡¯ll¡­ it¡¯ll¡­ there¡¯s no¡­¡±

    ¡°Breathe, Di. Just breathe.¡± Thelma took deep breaths along with me, rubbing my arms.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want him to take me back. I don¡¯t want them to put me back.¡± Tears filled my eyes.

    ¡°You¡¯re sure it¡¯s him?¡±

    I nodded fiercely.

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s just a coincidence. He probably won¡¯t go looking for you or anything. If he does, you¡¯re protected now. You¡¯ll be okay,¡± she said, but her words did little to comfort me.

    The system was going to return me to them. I could feel it. Bredlong would come over, say I was being ¡®reunified¡¯, and I¡¯d never see the Fields again.

    ¡°Do you want to keep going, or¡­?¡±

    I swallowed. ¡°I think¡­ I think I should go home. I¡¯m too creeped out. I¡¯m sorry, Thelma.¡±

    She shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± she said. ¡°I understand. I¡¯ll take you home. Thank you so much for coming.¡± She hugged me tightly.

    I only had two years left! Two years and I¡¯d be free.

    This was too scary, even for today.

    ~~~

    The boys were in the living room, finishing a movie. They sung along to the end credits song together, loudly belting it at the top of their lungs.

    ¡°I JUST DON¡¯T GET IT! WHY DO YOU WANT TO STAY¡­¡±

    I closed the door and snuck to the stairs, hoping the movie would distract them.

    ¡°Hey, Diana. How was trick-or-treating?¡± The song paused.

    I stopped with a wince and looked back. To my surprise, their girlfriends were over; Nicole, Amelia, Shirley, and Mildred.

    Ugh. Shirley. She looked as miserable as ever.

    ¡°It was okay.¡±

    ¡°Nice costume!¡± Amelia said.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± I smiled tightly.

    ¡°Yeah, it suits you,¡± Shirley remarked, sucking on a lollipop. Tommy nudged her.

    Harry noticed my expression and frowned. ¡°You okay?¡± He stood, approaching me. ¡°Are you still thinking about this morning?¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m just tired.¡± I smiled at him. ¡°I never really thanked you for this morning, Harry. Seriously, thank you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal.¡± He kissed my forehead, surprising me a bit. He cared about me. They all did¡­ except Shirley. Even Kyle and Jack were warming up to me. There was hope if I stayed here.

    ¡°What happened this morning?¡± Shirley asked.

    ¡°She fell in the pool by accident,¡± Tommy answered.

    ¡°Oh. Then why is she thanking Harry?¡±

    ¡°He pulled her out.¡±

    ¡°Okay?¡± She looked around with question.

    ¡°She can¡¯t swim,¡± Harry clarified.

    ¡°Oh. So you¡¯re the big hero, huh?¡± she said sarcastically.

    Nicole smiled at me, dissolving the tension. ¡°You want to rewatch the movie with us?¡± she asked. ¡°It just came out. You can sit next to me.¡± She patted the seat next to her.

    ¡°We have to watch that ¡®trash¡¯ again?¡± Shirley whined.

    ¡°Thanks, Nicole. But¡­ I¡¯m going to take a nap, actually,¡± I said. ¡°Have fun.¡± I hurried upstairs to my room. I heard them restart the song and their singing, the girls joining.

    I yelled out when I opened my door, not expecting Ms. Howells at my desk. ¡°Welcome back,¡± she said.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I said, clutching my chest in fright.

    ¡°In case anything happened during your¡­ outing, I wanted to make sure everything was fine.¡±

    ¡°Well, everything is fine, okay? You can¡­ go home now.¡± I went to my closet and grabbed my PJ¡¯s off the shelf.

    ¡°How long were you out?¡±

    ¡°I dunno. 2 hours?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a long time for trick-or-treating.¡±

    I sighed, vexed. ¡°Well, that¡¯s how long it took. They were all little kids. Hard to control.¡± I turned to her. ¡°Could you let me change?¡±

    ¡°You know the drill.¡±

    ¡°Ms. Howells, I¡¯m fine, okay? This is red paint, just so you know.¡± I pointed at my getup.

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m just doing my job.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just a few minutes!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you need to wash all that off before you get dressed?¡± she pointed out.

    I huffed and took my PJ¡¯s, heading to the bathroom. Ms. Howells followed me and stood outside. As I took off my dress, I quickly texted Mr. Brian. Mr. Brian, why did I see my uncle today?!

    Thankfully, he texted back after I¡¯d undressed. Your uncle?

    I was trick-or-treating with Thelma, and he was at one of the houses!

    The typing indicator flashed for a few moments. Are you sure it was him?

    POSITIVE.

    Okay, I¡¯ll look into it. He probably got paroled.

    But I¡¯m not going back with him, right? Either of them?

    No, unless they go to court and fight for custody, he said. And even then, it would be very difficult. I¡¯ll look into it, okay?

    I sighed, feeling a bit more relaxed. Okay. Thank you, Mr. Brian.

    I turned on the shower and got in, letting the water pour over my hair and wash off the paint. I leaned on the wall with a sigh, avoiding the water pouring over my face. I wasn¡¯t leaving. At least, not for now.

    After my shower, I changed into my PJ¡¯s and let my hair air-dry. In my room, Ms. Howells was still sitting there, scrolling on her phone. I slumped on my bed with a tired sigh.

    ¡°Anything wrong?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just tired.¡±

    Someone knocked on my door, giving me a jump. I sat up abruptly, causing dizziness. Nicole stood at the doorway, glancing at Ms. Howells. ¡°Hey, Diana¡­ sorry, I wanted to check on you.¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ I¡¯m okay. Why?¡±

    ¡°Just checking. Can I¡­ come in?¡±

    I made sure my sleeves were rolled down. The bandages were off, but the scars were visible. ¡°Yeah, sure.¡±

    She approached with a smile. ¡°So, you went trick-or-treating today.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯d that go?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°Okay.¡±

    She sat on my bed. ¡°I like your room.¡±

    ¡°Thanks¡­ it¡¯s not really mine, but.¡±

    ¡°Amy always had it messy,¡± she chuckled. ¡°She would have her clothes all over the place.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± I smiled genuinely.

    ¡°She was the messiest person I ever met. Worse than her brothers.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no way.¡±

    ¡°She said it helped her think. Whenever she drew or something.¡± Nicole laughed. ¡°I don¡¯t know how she did it¡­ this is the first time I¡¯ve seen it clean and neat.¡± She paused, glancing at the hawk again. ¡°Have they¡­ told you much about her?¡± She jerked her head at the doorway.

    ¡°Not¡­ really.¡± In fact, they almost never talked about her. Even Tommy and Harry were pretty reserved when it came to her¡­ although, considering the circumstance, I could see why. They were nice to me, but that didn¡¯t mean they trusted me completely.

    ¡°Have you asked?¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± I never felt the need to. I figured their sister was their business.

    But I was curious. Amy was obviously very loved. Harry mentioned she loved purple. She wanted to be an artist. But¡­ that was all I really knew.

    ¡°I just thought¡­ the guys seem more comfortable around you now,¡± Nicole continued. ¡°Maybe you can ask them. They¡¯re still grieving a lot. Talking about her would help.¡±

    ¡°You¡­ really think so?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. What they¡¯re afraid of is forgetting about her. The way I see it, the more they talk about her, the more they¡¯ll remember her. And the more they¡¯ll remember that she was Amy and you¡¯re¡­¡± She trailed off.

    ¡°I¡¯m me.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Mm-hmm.¡± She hastily added, ¡°I mean, I get you¡¯re not that close to Kyle or Jack, so¡­ maybe try it with the other two?¡±

    ¡°Nic! We¡¯re starting the other movie!¡± Kyle called from downstairs.

    ¡°Coming!¡± She smiled at me and slid off my bed, heading to the door. ¡°I know we really haven¡¯t talked much. You know, school gets in the way. But, if you ever want to hang with me and Amelia, go for a girls¡¯ night or something¡­ you can always call me.¡± She took out her phone, typing, then showed me her screen. ¡°Here¡¯s my number.¡±

    I took my phone, copying and saving it. ¡°Okay. Thanks, Nicole, really.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll see you.¡± She left.

    She was right. We could talk about Amy. I could know about who she was, how their family was¡­ that was a way of connecting. Part of me felt like it was prying, but if they were open to talk about it¡­

    I¡¯d ask Dr. Cawman about it. I could also mention Uncle Pat to her. Now that I saw his face, I¡¯d have to watch my back.

    Just the thought of him got me panicking again. I took deep breaths, lying down.

    ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°Nothing,¡± I snapped. Anger took over me, abating the attack, and I sat up again. ¡°Will you ever leave me alone?¡±

    Ms. Howells shrugged. ¡°If you loved your privacy so much, you shouldn¡¯t have gone asking for attention.¡±

    My mouth flapped. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Janet told me what you¡¯ve done in the past. That¡¯s why I¡¯m cautious with you. Don¡¯t expect everyone to just ¡®relax¡¯ when I stop coming over. With your habits, people need to keep an eye on you so you don¡¯t hurt yourself and everyone else.¡±

    ¡°And everyone else?¡± I stood. ¡°I didn¡¯t ask to come here, okay? I didn¡¯t ask for any of this! I just needed a way out!¡±

    ¡°Your ¡®way out¡¯ is the system. If you didn¡¯t have your caseworkers, you would be out on the street, homeless, without anything to survive. Do you want that instead?¡±

    ¡°I just want a normal life where I can be in my room, alone, without people asking me what I¡¯m doing every second!¡±

    She shrugged, nonchalant. ¡°Then be smarter next time.¡±

    After a couple of swears, I shouted, ¡°I¡¯D RATHER GO BACK TO SCHOOL THAN LIVE WITH YOU AROUND!¡±

    She raised her brows. ¡°Oh? You mean that?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! I actually have friends there that care about me! If I have to live with those jerks putting ¡®stuff¡¯ in my locker and calling me ¡®stuff¡¯, then fine! As long as I don¡¯t have you in here!¡±

    She stood. ¡°If you¡¯re serious, then tell your host family. It¡¯s up to them. And if you¡¯ve ¡®improved¡¯ as much as your therapist says, it shouldn¡¯t be a problem.¡±

    ¡°FINE!¡±

    Kyle and Jack ran up to us, having rushed up the stairs. ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± Kyle asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m going back to ¡®freaking¡¯ school, okay? I don¡¯t care anymore. I just want to be away from her!¡± I stormed back to the bathroom, slamming the door. My adrenaline was still too high, so high that I hadn¡¯t fully realized what I said.

 22~ Everything is Fine

    Harry

    November 1<sup>st</sup>, 2023

    Dawsonaction: hey whats up

    hpfpringle: hey

    nothing u?

    dawsonaction: wanted to know how dianas doing

    shes not answering me

    hpfpringle: shes ok¡­

    Voice: ¡°I think she¡¯s upset about last night. She must¡¯ve been too angry to realize what she was saying. When we told her, she said she was bluffing.¡±

    dawsonaction: ohh no

    now what? R they going to make her come bk to school?

    hpfpringle: Idk yet

    Howells is being really harsh about it tho

    dawsonaction: Voice: ¡°Why don¡¯t they just send her to a different school? They could, like, put her in a different district near us. That way, no one there knows about Amy.¡±

    hpfpringle: Bc she said she wanted to b w u and her other freinds

    friends*

    dawsonaction: ohh

    cant she say she changed her mind?

    hpfpringle: its really complicated rn

    ~~~

    November 5<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    hpfpringle: happy sunday!

    dawsonaction: Haha thx

    Any word on diana btw? Shes still not talking

    hpfpringle: Nothing yet, shes still in online school

    But I talked to her and she says she might go bc Howells wont b leaving until nxt week

    And she cant take her anymore

    Tbh none of us like her

    dawsonaction: nah that witch is just mean

    girl dont know how to do her job, getting payed too much

    hpfpringle: agree

    but idk if diana should go bk to school

    im worryed

    dawsonaction: well all b their for her

    ~~~

    Tommy

    November 8<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    TommyFieldsBaby: tommyyy i didnt see u at school todayyy

    what happened?

    tomarthurfield: sry I got sick

    TommyFieldsBaby: ur sick?

    tomarthurfield: Yea a cold

    TommyFieldsBaby: why didnt u tell me?

    that foster freak gave it to u right

    tomarthurfield: uh no? I just got sick

    and i was too tired to text

    TommyFieldsBaby: ok whatever

    so is diana coming bk to school or what? bc i dont want her here

    tomarthurfield: idk shirley i cant do anything about it

    TommyFieldsBaby: Voice: ¡°You¡¯re gonna have to say something about it. It¡¯s stupid. She¡¯s probably gonna start cutting herself again because no one wants her here. Everything¡¯s been better without her around. My life has changed, like, so much since she came.¡±

    tomarthurfield: shirley it doesnt matter what i say. she desides what she desides

    and since when is this about u?

    TommyFieldsBaby: why r u so mean to me??

    ive been so suportive and conserned about ur mental health and ur treating me like this??

    i need to take care of my own mental health too!

    tomarthurfield: Im sorry im sorry

    Ill let u know what they say ok?

    ~~~

    November 10<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    TommyFieldsBaby: hi tommy bear

    tomarthurfield: Hi shirlbear

    TommyFieldsBaby: U feeling better?

    tomarthurfield: Yea im coming bk on Monday

    And¡­ diana is too

    she desided to go

    TommyFieldsBaby: WHAT

    %#@& NO! SHE WILL LITERALLY RUIN MY LIFE!

    tomarthurfield: she got tired of ms howels watching her and she wont leave if diana doesnt go to school

    shell still come but she wont b watcging her all the time and shell stop after

    watching*

    diana wants to b w her friends

    TommyFieldsBaby: @!#^ $!&@ $%#@&!

    tomarthurfield: Shirley pls

    TommyFieldsBaby: @$%#!#^ do something!!!!

    Voice: ¡°If you love me, then ¡®freaking¡¯ do something! I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re just letting her come back after everything that happened! She was gone! She was out of our lives!¡±

    tomarthurfield: Voice: ¡°¡®Our lives¡¯? She lives in my house, Shirley. Look, if she¡¯s happier around her friends at school, then that¡¯s what we have to do. We¡¯re doing the best we can, okay?¡±

    TommyFieldsBaby: forget it

    i knew u didnt actually love me

    all u care about r ur stupid football games and ur $%#&!^ cheerleaders

    tomarthurfield: that¡¯s not true and u know that

    its hard for everyone ok?

    ~~~

    Harry

    November 12<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    dawsonaction: hey diana told me shes coming to school tomorrow

    hpfpringle: yea

    dawsonaction: bruhh why didnt u tell me in class?? (angry emoji)

    Also u ok? havent seen u around

    hpfpringle: Sorry lol I forgot dont b mad (sad emoji)

    and tom and i got sick but were fine now.

    dawsonaction: (laughing emoji) jk were cool. and sorry u got sick

    did she really want to come bk? She sounds exited but idk if shes faking

    hpfpringle: she said she wanted to b w u guys

    and ms howells wont b watching her all the time if she goes

    shell stop coming soon

    dawsonaction: good. diana will b better without that @%&$^ in her life

    hpfpringle: our life*

    dawsonaction: yea

    well try and b w her as much as we can ok?

    hpfpringle: thanks mildred

    dawsonaction: yw!

    hpfpringle: I actually meant to ask

    *This message was deleted*

    dawsonaction: what?

    hpfpringle: nothing sorry

    ~~~

    Diana

    November 13<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Ms. Howells was driving me to school now. She wouldn¡¯t be at my school, but the teachers and staff would ¡®keep an eye¡¯ on me.

    I couldn¡¯t believe it worked. After the last weekend at home with this woman, I was desperate. I was making up the plan as I went on, but once I saw a window, I¡¯d crash right through before anyone could stop me.

    Today, I wore a cute sweatshirt and jeans. I¡¯d fixed up my hair, put on nice makeup, and done my best to seem excited and relieved to go back. As confused as Susan and Davis were, they were gullible enough to believe me. Or maybe they just didn¡¯t know what else to do.

    ¡°Diana, Ms. Howells is here!¡± Susan called from downstairs.

    I excitedly came down the stairs, careful not to exaggerate. Susan smiled, but still seemed unsure as I approached the front door. ¡°You¡¯re sure about this, sweetheart?¡±

    ¡°Seriously, Susan, I feel like¡­ being stuck here made everything worse. This¡¯ll help,¡± I insisted.

    ¡°Okay.¡± She kissed my forehead. ¡°Have fun. And if you ever change your mind, let me know.¡±

    I nodded and went outside, where Ms. Howells was waiting. Tommy and Harry had already gone to the bus. I got inside, keeping up my happy fa?ade. ¡°You have everything?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    She started driving. I could feel my heart kick up to 100, dread and desperation filling me, but I would only have to endure it for a little while. I¡¯d escape, one way or another.

    Upon seeing the familiar building, panic set in. I gripped my seat belt and took deep breaths. Soon it would be over. It was just a little while. My heart pounded in my ears.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Ms. Howells asked me.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine. Just¡­ really excited.¡±

    She eyed me suspiciously, but unlocked the doors. I took off my seat belt and placed my shaky feet on the pavement. My hands clutched my backpack straps and my mouth dried. I grabbed the water bottle from the side pocket and gulped down half.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be back at 2:00, sharp. Be here on time.¡±

    ¡°Okay. Bye.¡± I headed towards the school, fighting against the invisible force pushing against me and begging me to stop.

    My schedule was adjusted so I could have my friends in my classes, given that I wanted to be near them so much. Which was partly true, though. I did want to spend time with them. Part of me felt guilty for doing this to them, but my desperation won.

    My first class was Geometry¡­ of course it was. But Kate was with me. Thelma was now in my AP Literature class and Blanche was in my U.S. History class instead of Chemistry, where Tony and Alma now were. And thankfully, Ivy wasn¡¯t in any of my classes¡­ except P.E. But that was only on Fridays.

    There were some subjects I was having a lot of trouble in, so I was also assigned a tutor to work with at lunch three days a week. I was rejoining the clubs I entered before I left, and joining the track team. If I did a whole bunch of extras, it would be more believable that I was happy, and they¡¯d lay off.

    I tucked my new schedule in my pocket and entered the Geometry classroom. I kept my gaze down, fully knowing everyone would be gawking at me. The best subject of gossip for the school had returned.

    Briefly, I glanced up to see where Kate was. The girl enthusiastically waved and pointed at the desk next to hers. I quickly went over, smiling brightly, and sat down.

    ¡°Hey.¡± She squeezed my hand. ¡°How are you f-feeling?¡±

    ¡°Weird. But I¡¯m glad to see you.¡± I smiled again, ignoring the stares from everyone else.

    ¡°Just so you kn-know, I¡¯m not that great at Geometry, but I¡¯ll help you if you n-need me to. If I can.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Kate.¡± I shuddered at the increasing noise around me, but I stood firm.

    The curse had returned. The girl that made everyone miserable by her mere presence was back. The girl that didn¡¯t deserve a chance in this world¡­ the girl that didn¡¯t deserve her friends.

    I felt even more scummy now that I was really thinking about this. They had the courtesy to be my friends, to try and make me happy. I didn¡¯t deserve that. I was obviously making them suffer along with me, and for what?

    I was so selfish. I should¡¯ve told them not to put my friends in my classes. It would¡¯ve spared them some of the ostracization. What was I thinking? I used them. I was such a horrible person.

    ¡°How was everyone¡¯s weekend?¡± Ms. Farwell put her books on her desk. Murmurs came up from the class.

    After reciting the pledge, the rest of the class continued worksheets they were working on last week. Ms. Farwell came up to me and Kate, lowering her voice to speak to me. ¡°Welcome back, Diana.¡± She took a blank worksheet from under her arm and gave it to me. ¡°Here¡¯s today¡¯s worksheet. They sent over some of your other school¡¯s work, so you won¡¯t have too much make-up work. Did you pick up your Booklet?¡±

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t, I forgot.¡±

    ¡°Make sure to get it before you go home.¡± She patted my hand.

    ¡°Thanks.¡±

    Blocking everyone else seemed to work. As long as I paid attention when my teachers and friends spoke to me, I¡¯d be just fine. Cooking class was the easiest. I focused completely on the food and not on my classmates, no matter how much they stared.

    Tony joined us for lunch, which was fun. He even brought a friend of his to meet me, named Josh. Josh was nice, a bit awkward, but polite. Instead of eating in the cafeteria, we went to a stairwell. It allowed us to chat freely and helped me focus on them.

    They didn¡¯t deserve a terrible friend like me. They deserved so much better. Everyone deserved better. I wasn¡¯t worth their time and effort.

    They¡¯d be free, though. Once I left, there would be a whole weight off their shoulders.

    ~~~

    ¡°What would warm colors do for you? What would come out of that?¡± My Graphic Design professor paced around the computer lab, scanning for raised hands. ¡°What comes to your mind when you see orange, red, yellow, all of those?¡± He stopped at a girl, who had her hand raised. ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d say, like, a beach or something. Summer vacation vibes,¡± she said.

    ¡°Good. That¡¯s a hot season, you want to get tanned, go to the beach, that¡¯s good.¡± He pointed at a boy.

    ¡°I was thinking like a hot chocolate bar in the winter. To attract people that want to get out of the cold,¡± he suggested.

    ¡°That¡¯s good! Very creative. What else? Who else?¡±

    I had an idea, but I wasn¡¯t sure about raising my hand¡­ then again, participation was positive, wasn¡¯t it? I raised my hand.

    ¡°Diana?¡±

    Everyone turned to look at me. I kept my gaze on the professor, breathing calmly. ¡°I thought about a¡­¡± I swallowed. ¡°A fast food restaurant. Like Mick¡¯s. With the fries and burgers.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, very good. Fast food. You see warm colors in them all the time; red, yellow, orange. Very good, Diana. Anyone else?¡±

    I turned my gaze to my lap, relieved. ¡°Good job,¡± I heard someone whisper.

    Startled, I jumped slightly, seeing a girl next to me. ¡°Sorry,¡± she whispered, ¡°didn¡¯t mean to scare you.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good.¡± I smiled at her.

    ¡°I¡¯m Allison, by the way.¡±

    ¡°Diana.¡± I chuckled. ¡°You probably know that, though.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you¡¯re back.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m in Book Club, actually. Are you gonna join again?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yeah, I am. I¡¯m joining a lot of things,¡± I replied. I hated having to join, but the more clubs, the better.

    ¡°Nice. You, um¡­ I¡¯m glad you¡¯re doing good.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡± I felt a touch of warmth from her kindness, but also a bit of guilt. All that kindness would go to waste.

    If it was true kindness, anyway. Just because she was being nice didn¡¯t mean she actually cared. It just meant she was being polite.

    Why did people waste their time on me? It wouldn¡¯t be worth it in the end. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have had any friends. It would only hurt them.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Allison eyed me with concern.

    Realizing I was frowning, I perked up. ¡°I¡¯m great.¡±

    ¡°You sure?¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Everything is fine.¡±

    ~~~

    11.13.23

    Dear Diary, my first day back at school was so fun! I made a couple new friends, and hung out with my old friends. It felt amazing being with them again. I feel so much happier now!

    I¡¯m so glad I decided to go back to school. I feel so hopeful. Everything will be just fine. I¡¯ve never felt so hopeful in my life, honestly.

    Ms. Howells asks me about my day every day. I¡¯m so glad she cares. She really is a good person. I was just really ungrateful at first, I guess also depressed because I was locked in the house. But now that I¡¯m in school, I¡¯m able to appreciate her <u>so</u> much more. And Mr. Brian has been checking up on me. He still can¡¯t come over because of the new cases he has, but he texts me often. Ms. Bredlong and Ms. Juno have been coming over. Ms. Juno¡¯s super nice. I like her. Ms. Bredlong is still a I¡¯m spending more time with the family, too. Susan and Davis are so kind. I saw Tommy and Harry at school, and they helped me a lot. I¡¯m seeing Dr. Cawman on Friday.

    There are so many people that care about me. How can they How could I not see that? Ms. Bredlong was right. I was making <u>myself</u> miserable and trying to drag others down with me. She told me that all those years ago, and I¡¯ll always remember.

    ~~~

    11.14.23

    Dear Diary, I had Chemistry class today. Alma¡¯s an amazing friend, but I wish I had that class just with Tony. He¡¯s so sweet and caring. I got really nervous while pouring a formula, so nervous that my hands were shaking! But he took my hands and guided me through. He¡¯s so amazing¡­

    I¡¯m not ready for a boyfriend yet, but I love dreaming about him. I¡¯m so happy to have him in my life. He really is a great friend. He makes me happy. Almost makes me kind of guilty, knowing he cares so much. After

    I also went back to the Book Club, which was nice. Thelma and Alma were there, and my new friend, Allison!

    ~~~

    11.15.23

    Dear Diary, ASL class was fun today. A few of the other students pulled a little prank, but it was funny. The teachers were overreacting, really. It was very funny! They tricked me into saying something¡­ well, NSFW. But, hey, that¡¯s how you learn, right? I laughed and everything. The teachers worry way too much!

    ~~~

    11.17.23

    Dear Diary, P.E. wasn¡¯t as bad as I thought it would be. Ivy was actually not that mean. She didn¡¯t talk to me or anything, but she wasn¡¯t mean to me like before. The ones who are still mean to me are her friends, but I don¡¯t care about them. P.E. was actually fun! I beat everyone in a race. I¡¯m surprised I can still run so fast; I haven¡¯t run in a long while. I started jogging only just this week to train for the track team. Tryouts for the team are in three days! I have to work extra hard over the weekend if I want to get in! I can¡¯t wait!

    The session with Dr. Cawman went well. She was a bit sus at first about me being so happy, but it really is a huge transformation! I feel like a whole new person with other people I love!

    Also, I¡¯m going out with my friends on Saturday, and Tony might bring his sister. I never realized how much I like kids. I guess after all I¡¯ve been through, I have a soft spot. It¡¯s weird. You¡¯d think I¡¯d hate them, especially when they¡¯d torture me in the past. Maybe I¡¯m just weird like that. I¡¯ll never understand But kids are honestly precious, especially little Addie. I can¡¯t <u>wait</u> to see her! She¡¯s an absolute angel!

    ~~~

    11.18.23

    Dear Diary, I just got back. It was so much fun! Addie really is such a sweet little girl. And Tony¡¯s just¡­ so dreamy. We had ice cream, watched a movie, and then Thelma and Mildred came back to my house to hang out. It was really fun! What would I do without them? I also went jogging and trained for the tryouts on Monday. Really excited for that!

    Dr. Cawman was right. If I looked at everything in a positive way, it makes everything so much better.

    ~~~

    I wrapped my new bandage around my leg tightly. Why didn¡¯t I think of this before? It was so much easier to hide. Now that it was colder, I didn¡¯t really have a reason to wear shorts or skirts. My next doctor¡¯s appointment was soon, but I¡¯d cross that bridge when I got to it.

    I could describe my current life in one word: miserable. I could feel everyone getting tired of me. The Fields, my friends, everyone at school. They all wanted me to die, and I knew it.

    The girls were probably sick of seeing me. They were sweethearts, but I knew they only treated me this way out of pity. I was a charity case to them. I could hear it through the whispers in the halls. The ¡®ghost girl¡¯ would soon become a real ghost.

    Everyone hated me, and I didn¡¯t blame them. I hated me, too. I was such a curse. I was a walking disease.

    I came out of my hiding spot in the corner of my room. It was a small blind spot, just behind the security camera. As far as everyone was concerned, I was as happy as can be. My life was so improved, and I was going to be just fine. Soon enough, the camera would disappear.

    Someone knocked on my door. I flinched, hiding the first aid kit, and scrambled to my desk to finish my homework. ¡°Come in!¡± I said.

    Harry entered with Tommy. ¡°Hey. Whatcha doing?¡±

    ¡°Just homework.¡± I smiled.

    ¡°Are you almost done?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, why?¡±

    ¡°We were gonna play some PS5¡­ you want to join?¡±

    I scoffed jokingly. ¡°You¡¯re letting a girl play with you?¡±

    ¡°Ha-ha,¡± said Tommy. ¡°We¡¯re playing Omega Battlefield. You know that game?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ yeah. I used to play that at the Thomas¡¯s. It¡¯s been a while, though.¡± I moved on to the last operation on my Geometry sheet.

    ¡°It should come back to you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll go as soon as I figure out what the heck this means.¡± I tapped my pencil on my desk.

    ¡°What?¡± Harry approached, leaning on my desk to see. After a few moments, he pointed at a number. ¡°This is a positive, not a negative,¡± he said.

    ¡°Oh. Thanks.¡± I erased the minus and replaced it with a plus.

    ¡°And this means you have to reverse it. So what¡¯s on the top goes on the bottom, and vice versa.¡±

    I glanced at him, following his tip. I soon found the answer.

    ¡°There you go.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were good at math.¡± I turned off my lamp and stood.

    ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡±

    Tommy shook his head. ¡°He¡¯s the only one good at math¡­ besides Amy.¡±

    ¡°Amy was a lot better than me.¡±

    ¡°She was an artist, right?¡± I asked as we went to the stairs.

    ¡°She wanted to be an architect. She even made a scale model of her dream house.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯d spend hours in the basement building it,¡± said Tommy. ¡°A girl at school destroyed it.¡±

    ¡°Destroyed it? Why?¡± We reached the landing.

    ¡°She was just mean.¡± He smiled nostalgically. ¡°Then the guys and I finished the house for her. Took us forever.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s so sweet,¡± I said. ¡°Did she like it?¡±

    A pause. ¡°She¡­ didn¡¯t get to see it,¡± said Harry.

    I just had to stick my nose in their business, didn¡¯t I? ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to¡­¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good.¡±

    We entered the den, where the two older boys waited. ¡°She¡¯s here,¡± Tommy announced.

    ¡°Hey, Diana.¡± Kyle crunched a chip between his teeth. ¡°Who do you want to play as?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± I shrugged. ¡°You guys can pick first.¡±

    ¡°Since we¡¯re five people, you¡¯ll have to take turns with one of us.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s okay. Actually, you guys play first. It¡¯s been a while, so I need a refresher.¡±

    ¡°Sure. Who¡¯s playing Stormlord?¡± Kyle asked.

    ¡°Me. I won.¡± Tommy smiled.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be Rocketeer,¡± Harry said. The other boys looked at him. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t play Rocketeer,¡± Jack pointed out.

    ¡°I¡¯m just rusty.¡±

    Jack ignored him and chose Rocketeer. Harry glared at him, taking a different character. The screen split into four points of view.

    ¡°Tommy, what are you doing?¡± Jack said, struggling to control Rocketeer¡¯s flight pattern.

    ¡°Stormlord¡­ PLUNGE!¡± Tommy recklessly jumped into a group of enemies and destroyed them with a ground explosion. Harry¡¯s character also died.

    ¡°Way to go, Tom!¡± He punched him in the arm.

    ¡°You were in the way!¡±

    One by one, the boys¡¯ characters died. Kyle was the last one standing, playing Armadill. Suddenly, the death screen flashed, a voice announcing, ¡°GAME OVER.¡±

    ¡°WHAT THE-¡± Kyle gawked at the TV. ¡°What happened?!¡±

    ¡°You died,¡± Tommy said flatly.

    ¡°Someone cheated!¡±

    ¡°No one cheated, Ky,¡± said Harry.

    Tommy rolled his eyes. ¡°Forget it. It¡¯s everyone else¡¯s fault but his.¡±

    I chuckled. ¡°I can try now.¡±

    ¡°Take Harry¡¯s controller.¡±

    ¡°Why me?¡±

    ¡°Because you can¡¯t play,¡± Jack laughed.

    I picked my character, Vella. She was always my favorite as a kid. The game started and I kept my eyes glued on the bottom right-hand corner.

    It was a bit shaky at first. Relearning the controls was pretty hard. But as I went on, I got the hang of her lasso and spinning spear.

    ¡°Nice one, Diana,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°I¡¯m mostly just pushing buttons,¡± I said.

    ¡°You¡¯re doing good. Ooh, look out.¡± Kyle shot an enemy before I could get killed.

    Our team finished third place at the end of the round. Kyle reached over and high-fived me. Harry snatched the controller away from me and sat back down on the sofa. ¡°Forget it. I¡¯m choosing Calamar,¡± he said, changing his character. His bottom lip pouted out childishly.

    ¡°Aww, poor Harry.¡± I teased.

    ¡°Shut up.¡±

    I sat on the sofa arm, waiting for the next turn. ¡°Thanks for letting me play,¡± I said.

    ¡°No problem.¡± They all shot me smiles. They looked real¡­ but they couldn¡¯t be.

    Jack said it himself; I only made their lives worse. They would be better off without me.

 23~ The Track Team

    Tryout day had arrived. Today was the 100-meter and 200-meter dashes; nothing I couldn¡¯t handle. Tomorrow was 400 meters. On Wednesday I was doing the 800-meter run.

    Coming out of the girls¡¯ locker room, I straightened the hem of my shirt and took a deep breath. I wore a comfy, black T-shirt, black leggings, and my white sneakers. My hair was tied up into a high ponytail, like Barbie.

    We all went out to the running track. The air was quite chilly, but the sun was strong enough to keep us warm. Coach North and Coach Hyde were waiting for us with a few other teachers, the latter being in charge of the boys¡¯ team.

    I looked over at the other team. I saw Rick among them, doing a few basic stretches. To my surprise, he caught my eye and waved to me, grabbing the attention of the other boys trying out. I hesitantly waved back, noticing another boy looking at me. He seemed familiar¡­

    He watched me with a creepy smile, his gray eyes glinting. He pushed back his blond hair and stretched his well-built arms, showing off his physique. He finally turned away when he approached Coach Hyde, greeting him like an old friend.

    I knew him¡­ but where had I seen him?

    Coach North blew his whistle, its¡¯ high-pitched sound jumpstarting my heart. My hands shot up to my ears. ¡°All right, girls, get in line, distance at arm¡¯s length!¡± He clapped his hands.

    I took a deep breath, trying to control my already-shaking limbs. We got in line and stretched out our arms to distance ourselves. I looked down the line, recognizing Roberta Crawley. She noticed me and smiled, waving.

    ¡°Welcome to track and field tryouts, girls,¡± said the coach. The other coach¡¯s voice echoed from the other side. ¡°Most of you have already been on this team in previous years, so you should know what to expect. New ones, I expect you to give your best during this tryout.¡± He blew his whistle again. I plugged my fingers in my ears, swallowing hard. ¡°Let¡¯s get to work!¡±

    We all answered different questions about our experience in running and athletics with the coach and assistants. Afterwards, we did a bunch of stretches. Some of them made my legs sting a bit, and I could feel the bandages riding up, but it wasn¡¯t anything too bad.

    Coach North had us do a few sprints before the actual 100-meter run. So far, I was doing good. A few of the other girls¡ª mostly freshmen¡ª didn¡¯t seem like the running type. The coaches separated us in groups of eight, calling us one by one.

    ¡°Diana Field?¡±

    My stomach squeezed.

    Seeing my reaction, the assistant pointed at the sixth group. ¡°You¡¯re with them.¡±

    My mouth flapped. That wasn¡¯t my name.

    Coach North went over to her, whispering and pointing at the chart. She nodded and erased something, then wrote something over. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ms. Fi- um, Watson, that was my mistake,¡± she said.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I managed to say.

    Hearing whispering around me, I noticed a lot of the other girls looking at me. Even some of the boys had heard, including Rick and that creepy guy.

    This just got a whole lot worse.

    Once everyone got into their groups, Coach North called us over, blowing his high-pitched whistle again.

    Did it have to be that loud?

    ¡°Line up and dash. 100 meters. Minimum is 15-16 seconds. On your marks¡­¡±

    We got in line, standing where the starting blocks would be.

    ¡°Get set¡­¡±

    We got into running position. My muscles were poised to run, and I closed my eyes as I motivated my system to pump adrenaline.

    ¡°Go!¡± TWEET!

    All of us sprinted off at once, our legs mechanically propelling our bodies forward. I instinctively envisioned one of my former foster parents chasing me.

    There was that one time with the Perez family¡­ though it was the cops that were chasing me. A girl was caught shoplifting at a convenience store, and because I was wearing a hooded black sweater like hers, they thought it was me. I was chased all the way to a diner, where I was held until they found the girl somewhere else. They then called Marco for me.

    Marco was the only person I trusted. I knew that after that, I wouldn¡¯t be able to escape.

    I cleared the memories from my head. I needed to concentrate. Imagining the cops on my tail, my legs ran forward like a motor.

    As we neared the finish line, I gradually slowed down until we came to a halt. I was already sweating, though not profusely, and my heart pounded in my head. I took deep, leveled breaths as I recovered.

    Coach North came up to us, looking at his stopwatch. He smiled at us. ¡°Good job. Most of you made it under 15 seconds.¡± The assistants followed, holding tablets and stylus pens.

    ¡°Who got here first?¡± a girl asked.

    One of the assistants looked at his tablet. ¡°That would be¡­ Ms. Crawley. You got here in 11.8 seconds. Very good.¡±

    She smiled, panting. No wonder she was the captain.

    ¡°And second place is¡­ Diana Watson.¡±

    I perked up. ¡°Me?¡±

    The assistant nodded. ¡°12.5 seconds.¡±

    I smiled. That was great! Roberta clapped for me.

    We soon went back into the school to change. I tried to get ahead so I could find a good corner to change in. I didn¡¯t need anyone seeing my legs.

    ¡°Good job.¡± Roberta patted my shoulder as we entered the locker room. ¡°You looked like a runner when I saw you.¡±

    ¡°You think?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. You¡¯re really fast. Hope you make the team.¡± She went towards the showers, pushing her sweaty hair back. Some of the other girls heard her, glaring at me as I continued into the room.

    I took off my shirt, shivering slightly. I would probably have to change into my pants in the bathroom like before. There were too many eyes here.

    Cold hands touched my bare shoulders. I flinched, turning suddenly, and leaned against the lockers. Two girls were standing in front of me. ¡°Whoa, calm down,¡± one of them laughed.

    ¡°Oh¡­ s-sorry.¡±

    ¡°Hey, we just wanted to congratulate you,¡± the girl said sweetly, though I could really hear the fakeness in her voice. ¡°You did really great out there. It¡¯s good that you came back.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± I turned back to my locker.

    ¡°Everyone thinks you¡¯ll be on the team,¡± the second girl said. ¡°It¡¯s obvious. You¡¯re Coach North¡¯s favorite.¡±

    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    ¡°I¡¯m not his favorite,¡± I said.

    ¡°We heard you were. He always complimented you when you went to P.E.¡±

    ¡°I guess I¡¯m just fast.¡±

    ¡°We actually like to do a test to see how fast everyone really is. That way we keep being one of the best teams, you know?¡± The first girl smiled. My stomach lurched. ¡°So we thought, are you really as fast as you seemed out there?¡±

    Goosebumps wracked my skin as a harrowing feeling shrouded over me. My surroundings seemed to darken. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked fearfully.

    ¡°Like, are you fast enough to get out of this?¡± She reached for my wrist. I tried pulling out of her grip, but the other girl also latched onto my arm. ¡°Okay, she¡¯s not,¡± the other girl laughed. They started dragging me along.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I asked. I tried pulling away, but my limbs were locking in place and my brain was short-circuiting.

    ¡°Hey, girls, Amy 2 wants to talk to her boyfriend,¡± the first girl laughed. Some of the other girls noticed the commotion and joined in while most of them ignored us.

    ¡°S-stop¡­¡± My voice was hoarse. I couldn¡¯t speak or move. I could only let them lead me through the locker room.

    ¡°She looks a bit pale. You want some water?¡± Water splashed into my face. I coughed instinctively, even though none of it went down my airways. My ears started ringing and the voices grew more echoic. ¡°Welcome to the team, ghost girl.¡±

    I was suddenly pushed down on a hard surface, hands locked around my arms. I could feel something¡ª a marker¡ª writing something on my arm. A light blinded me when I was flipped over, feeling someone write something on my forehead.

    I grunted as I was pulled up to my feet again, dragged through a doorway. Boys¡¯ voices started mingling with the girls¡¯. I couldn¡¯t understand what they were saying. It was as if they were speaking another language.

    ¡°Long time no see,¡± I heard a boy say. My distorted vision turned, my stomach lurching at the nauseating feeling. That boy¡¯s face smiled back at me.

    Lucas¡­ his name was Lucas. He was that guy¡­

    My ears popped. I groaned in pain, clutching my ears. The sound around me became clearer. I looked around, realizing where I was.

    The boys¡¯ locker room.

    My body seized up in panic as I looked around at the various men staring and smiling at me. Shivering, I realized my shirt was¡­ in my locker.

    ¡°You look a little lost, Amy- oh, sorry. Diana.¡± Lucas leaned on his knees, eyeing me pathetically. ¡°You want to visit your boyfriend?¡±

    I was shaking. I couldn¡¯t move my feet. No matter how much my brain shouted for me to get out of there, I couldn¡¯t.

    ¡°You¡¯re a skinny little thing.¡± Lucas¡¯ gray eyes roved over me. He smirked condescendingly. ¡°Amy was hotter. Eh, I guess Amy 2 will have to do, right?¡± Laughter erupted.

    I glanced to my right, seeing the door to the indoor gym. I turned and bolted, my arms crossed over my body. Four girls stood there, one of them pointing a phone at me. Their mouths were open wide in screeching laughter.

    Lucas followed me outside, his smirk ever present. ¡°Come on, ghost, don¡¯t leave so soon.¡±

    I tried going inside the girls¡¯ room, but the others barred my entrance. ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± I heard someone say. One of the girls shoved me hard enough to get me off balance. A pair of hands caught me under the shoulders.

    ¡°You alright, Field?¡± Lucas smiled at me again. I wanted to smack it off his face so much, but my body had gone limp. He was touching me.

    It was like I wasn¡¯t even in my body. As if I was just watching from outside. I wasn¡¯t in control at all. I couldn¡¯t move. I couldn¡¯t breathe. I couldn¡¯t do anything. I couldn¡¯t¡­

    I couldn¡¯t do anything.

    ¡°What¡¯s the matter with her?¡± a girl asked. Her face appeared and she waved a hand in front of my eyes. ¡°Ghost girl? Hello?¡±

    ¡°Leave her alone. Right. Now.¡±

    ¡°Bro, it¡¯s a joke, relax.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s overreacting.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Thatcher, you got your girlfriend back!¡± I was dragged backwards, back into the men¡¯s locker room. I felt like a corpse, unable to control anything around me.

    I was dropped on the floor. The cold tiles made my muscles twitch. I shrunk into a cocoon, my arms covering my head and my legs folding in. At least my legs were still covered.

    ¡°Lucas! Stop-¡± The girl¡¯s voice was drowned out by many voices, the noise getting louder and louder.

    ¡°Thatcher! We found your-¡± A groan followed, then a bang on the lockers near me. The sound made me flinch. The noise increased. Bangs and grunts and screams. I covered my ears and squeezed my eyes shut. I just wanted it all to stop.

    I finally opened my eyes. Between the various silhouettes trapping me in, I saw a girl¡­ a few years younger than me. She wore a shirt and a torn, wrinkled skirt, bruises and cuts all over her face and body. Her whitish-blond hair was a mess. She took a deep breath and screamed something, but I couldn¡¯t hear her. I could only read her lips.

    ¡°DO SOMETHING!¡±

    ¡°Diana, are you-¡± Hands touched me again.

    I flinched, this time finding my voice, and shut my eyes again. I screamed at the top of my lungs. Curses and exclamations erupted around me. I continued screaming until I had no air left in my lungs.

    ¡°Diana! It¡¯s¡­ i-it¡¯s okay. It¡¯s me, Roberta. It¡¯s okay. I¡¯m not gonna hurt you.¡± I could hear someone else cursing and yelling, the volume frightening me.

    ¡°YOU SHOULD ALL BE IN A MENTAL ASYLUM! ALL OF YOU ARE SICK, DISGUSTING, TWISTED PIECES OF-¡±

    ¡°Rick, okay, calm down! Stop.¡±

    The blackness never faded away. I wasn¡¯t going to open my eyes. I didn¡¯t want to. I was too scared.

    A pair of arms suddenly tucked under my back and knees and hoisted me up from the ground. I stayed in a cocoon as we moved forward. After a few moments, I was set down on the floor against the wall. Slowly, I opened my eyes as warm hands cupped my face. I could still hear my voice screaming in my ears, though I wasn¡¯t making a sound.

    ¡°¡­ you okay? Can you hear me?¡±

    My eyes focused on another familiar face. His hazel eyes were wide.

    ¡°R-Rick?¡± I said, my voice failing.

    ¡°You okay? Are you hurt?¡±

    I moved my arms and unfolded my legs. They were stiff, trembling still, but I was regaining more control. I didn¡¯t feel any pain. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t think so.¡± Water covered my face and chest, my bra wet. My eyes were stinging with tears.

    ¡°We should take her to the principal¡¯s office,¡± said Roberta. She stood next to Rick.

    ¡°We should call the police. That was sick.¡± Rick¡¯s voice had a venomous bite to it.

    ¡°Principal first.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t even sure what happened. They were¡­ what were they even doing?

    Looking down at my arm, I noticed the black marker written on my skin, covering my scars. I stared at the words. Only two words, but cruel ones. I shivered, realizing once again that I was in my bra. I quickly covered my chest from Rick.

    ¡°Come on, Diana.¡± Roberta took my hands, gently pulling me to my feet. ¡°Go to the bathroom, okay? I¡¯ll get your shirt.¡± My legs were still a little shaky, but I was able to feel them again. I held on to Roberta¡¯s shoulder for support.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to Principal Ryan¡¯s office.¡± Rick was also shirtless, I realized, and sported a busted lip. His words just barely registered in my head.

    The principal¡­

    ¡°Wait, no! Don¡¯t,¡± I quickly said, stopping Rick as he turned to the locker room.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°D-don¡¯t tell her. Don¡¯t tell anyone. Please.¡±

    ¡°Diana, they legit just assaulted you. We can¡¯t just-¡±

    ¡°Please, it¡¯s not going to fix anything.¡±

    ¡°Yes, it will, we just have to-¡±

    I let go of Roberta, wobbling on my unstable legs. I clung to Rick¡¯s bare shoulders. ¡°Rick, please. Don¡¯t. They can¡¯t know, no one can know, they won¡¯t ever leave me alone and then¡­¡± My hyperventilation saved me from blabbing.

    ¡°Whoa, okay. Okay.¡± He rubbed my arms comfortingly. ¡°Relax. Breathe.¡±

    I let go of him when Roberta supported me. With teary eyes, I made one last plead. ¡°Please¡­ I know it sounds stupid, but you can¡¯t say anything. It¡¯ll only get worse. Please.¡±

    He gazed at me for what felt like an eternity. A strange shimmer glinted in his hazel eyes, which closed as he sighed. ¡°Alright. We won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Roberta exclaimed. ¡°We can¡¯t just let this go!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t understand,¡± I told her. ¡°They can¡¯t know. Please. If they do¡­¡± I swallowed. ¡°Th- they¡¯ll- this is what they want, this is what they¡¯re waiting for-¡±

    ¡°Okay, okay, we won¡¯t. We won¡¯t.¡± She put her hands on my shoulders. ¡°Try to breathe. I¡¯m sorry this happened to you.¡± She held me up as we slowly walked down the hallway.

    Going into the bathroom, I saw ¡®EVIL WITCH¡¯ written on my forehead in black ink. There were other writings on my cheeks and chin, as well. ¡®UGLY¡¯, ¡®SKELETON¡¯, and other choice words were among them.

    I turned away, going into a stall. Outside, Roberta sighed. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Diana. I¡­ when I got out of the shower, I¡­¡± I cried as silently as possible. Noticing other words on my other arm, I tried to wipe them off, but the ink was permanent.

    ¡°They were so horrible¡­¡± she continued, her voice cracking. ¡°God, I just¡­ I can¡¯t get over this. They were so¡­ are you sure you don¡¯t want to say anything?¡±

    ¡°N-no. No.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Please.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have to say it was you. There¡¯s a lot of freshmen trying out. We¡¯ll just say you didn¡¯t want to disclose your identity. Please, this is sick. We can¡¯t just¡­ let it go.¡±

    I swallowed. ¡°You can do that?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we just have to say who it was. They took videos, so there¡¯s proof.¡±

    They took videos?

    That was it. They were going to send me to a hospital, or another group home. They were going to lock me up and strap me down.

    ¡°We¡¯ll make sure they don¡¯t know it was you, okay? They can¡¯t force you to say anything. I just don¡¯t want them to get away with it.¡±

    She would never understand. No one cared, anyway. Punishment, no punishment. It wouldn¡¯t change anything.

    ¡°I¡¯ll go get your shirt, okay?¡± she said. ¡°I really am so sorry.¡± I heard her leave.

    I waited a few seconds, then opened the stall door. Going up to the mirror, I read every word scrawled on my skin. Ugly. Loser. Pathetic. Stupid. Weak. Skinny. Waste. Trash.

    Useless.

    Yeah. I was useless. No one loved me. No one cared. No one wanted me.

    My skin reddened as I scrubbed soap and water on the ink. I heard myself crying, but I didn¡¯t want to cry. It made me so mad. I was so weak and selfish. So pathetic. So disgusting. I was always alone.

    ¡­ I was alone.

    I looked around. Maybe I could escape here somehow? She was coming back, though.

    I shifted, looking outside. I could just run. There were stairs near here. I could bolt to the roof. I was fast enough. They wouldn¡¯t catch me in time, would they?

    My feet were heavy as I approached the door. The window was closing. I would follow the message left on my arm. I would do what they wanted. After all, I wanted it too, didn¡¯t I?

    Roberta came with my shirt. She stopped, a bit surprised, then tried to smile, failing. ¡°Hey. Here¡¯s your shirt.¡± She gave it to me. ¡°Let¡¯s get you cleaned up, okay?¡±

 24~ Thankful For

    Tommy

    It was already way past 3 and that woman hadn¡¯t brought Diana back. Were tryouts really that long?

    I tried to be optimistic. Maybe she made some friends and decided to go out with them. But there was an underlying feeling, a nagging itch in my gut that told me something was wrong.

    My phone started ringing, scaring me. Shirley¡¯s ringtone always made me anxious. I let it ring for a few moments, not wanting to answer, but eventually did anyway. She¡¯d call me over and over again until I gave in.

    ¡°What took you so long?¡± she snapped.

    ¡°I was in the bathroom,¡± I lied.

    ¡°I just wanted to check on you. I figured little psycho twin would give you trouble today,¡± she said.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°You know, with her panic attacks and all that ¡®stuff¡¯, she probably had a whole meltdown, right? Can¡¯t say I really blame her. Then again, that¡¯s what she gets for ¡®messing¡¯ around in the locker rooms.¡±

    My brain split in half from confusion. ¡°What?¡± Harry, lying on his bed, looked up from the book he was reading.

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you don¡¯t know. Lucas didn¡¯t send you anything?¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± I logged into FamiliarFaces on my computer. My inbox was, once again, full of messages. ¡°I didn¡¯t check.¡±

    ¡°I think it was pretty harmless, all things considered, but yeah¡­ pretty mean. Well. She wanted to come back to school knowing no one liked her, so she walked into it. Lucas was just kidding around. It¡¯s pretty funny when he tells the story.¡±

    ¡°Shirley, what are you-¡± I paused. ¡°Wait, why were you talking to Lucas?¡±

    ¡°Just check our chat. I¡¯m sending you a video.¡± Her chat moved to the top of the list when the video loaded. I clicked on it and opened the file.

    Diana was being dragged by Lucas, her body limp. She had a bra and leggings on. The video continued into the men¡¯s locker room. There were black markings all over her face and arms. My jaw dropped as Lucas dropped her on the floor. She curled up into a ball, her arms covering her head. The camera zoomed in on her as people taunted her.

    ¡°Did she do dope?¡± someone laughed.

    ¡°Come on, ghost girl, don¡¯t be shy! Say hi to the camera.¡± The girl recording leaned in, trying to get Diana¡¯s face. Her voice screeched with laughter.

    The camera spun to the left, where a girl was trying to get through the crowd. More than ten people surrounded Lucas and Diana. ¡°Lucas! Stop it, you sick piece of-¡±

    ¡°Roberta, chill, it¡¯s just a joke.¡±

    Rick appeared, pushing through the crowd and facing Lucas. His eyes widened at Diana, then traveled to Lucas, who laughed.

    ¡°Thatcher! We found your-¡± Rick slammed into him before he could finish. They collided against the lockers harshly. Rick punched Lucas a few times before he retaliated, busting his lip. He reared back, licking off the blood, then grabbed Lucas again and threw him on the floor.

    ¡°Wh-who sent you that?¡± Harry asked. I gasped slightly, not expecting him to be next to me.

    ¡°Lucas didn¡¯t say anything? That¡¯s weird,¡± Shirley said, now on speaker. ¡°Doreen sent me that. She¡¯s the one recording.¡±

    ¡°What the heck is this?¡±

    ¡°I dunno. I guess they were trying to mess with her. Pretty sick, right? Although, Rick¡¯s a little sus for playing Prince Charming, if you know what I mean.¡±

    I was going to kill them. I was going to kill him. And we were all treating Rick to dinner or something. ¡°I gotta call her.¡± I took Shirley off speaker.

    ¡°Good luck dealing with her. She¡¯s gonna be hysterical,¡± I heard her chuckle. The tone made me pause, and I put the phone to my ear again.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Shirley¡­ you did see the video, right? They just assaulted our¡­ our¡­ her.¡±

    She scoffed. ¡°You were just about to say she was your sister, weren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I lied. For a moment, I¡¯d forgotten. Either way, I was livid. Harry was visibly the same. I was going to make all of them wish they weren¡¯t even born.

    ¡°Yup, she¡¯s got you in her little web.¡± She scoffed again. ¡°Oh-my-God, I don¡¯t know how you put up with her. Always the victim; ¡®wah, wah, I hate my life¡¯. She¡¯s so toxic.¡±

    I sat down, not believing what I was hearing. ¡°I don¡¯t think I understand what you mean,¡± I said.

    ¡°It¡¯s obvious, Tommy. People like her? They need the attention. I¡¯m starting to think those¡­ cuts¡­ were something she made up. It got everyone¡¯s attention, right? Being another Amy wasn¡¯t enough. It¡¯s all a little plot of hers. I know the type.¡±

    I remained silent, listening to every word. Every shred of hope, tenderness, and sentiment I had left for her crumbled away inside me. Harry approached me, concerned.

    ¡°And look at that, she tried to cheat on Tony. Why else would she try out for track? She knew Rick would be there. Probably thought he¡¯d think she was pretty just because she looks like his girlfriend. Makes sense she was in there with her shirt off. That¡¯s what she gets for being¡­ her.¡±

    ¡°Tommy?¡± Harry said. I held up my hand to silence him.

    ¡°Hello? You¡¯re not saying anything,¡± she then said.

    I desperately needed to punch something. I desperately needed to smash Lucas¡¯s face in. And I desperately needed to break up with Shirley.

    ¡°We need to talk.¡±

    There was silence. Harry stared at me, shocked. ¡°What?¡± she finally said.

    ¡°We need to talk, Shirley,¡± I said coldly. ¡°We¡¯ll talk later.¡± I hung up, cutting her off, and went to my closet for my jacket.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Harry asked.

    ¡°I will be.¡± I put my jacket on, heading for the door.

    ¡°Where are we going?¡±

    ¡°Kyle, Jack!¡± I turned off the light and answered him: ¡°To Lucas¡¯s.¡±

    ~~~

    Kyle

    Mom and Dad were waiting in the foyer with crossed arms when we came back. I stopped short, hiding my bruised knuckle behind me. My brothers bumped into me. ¡°What happened?¡± Jack asked.

    I smiled innocently. ¡°Hey, guys.¡±

    ¡°Hello, Kyle,¡± Mom said silkily. ¡°May I ask why you took our car without permission, or without telling us where you were going, or what you were doing?¡±

    ¡°And what are you hiding behind your back?¡± Dad added.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± I looked back at my brothers, who peeked out from behind me.

    ¡°We¡­ went to a¡­ party.¡± Jack smiled.

    ¡°A party?¡±

    ¡°It was a¡­ small get-together,¡± I said.

    ¡°I see. Where?¡±

    ¡°At Mildred¡¯s.¡± Harry stepped forward. ¡°She was¡­ she wanted to show me something, so I asked Kyle to drive me, and Jack and Tommy wanted to come, too, so we all went.¡±

    ¡°And you just up and left without telling us?¡± Dad asked.

    ¡°We figured it was fast and that you wouldn¡¯t mind.¡± Tommy scratched his neck. ¡°It was just a¡­ new game.¡±

    They glanced at each other. As long as they didn¡¯t find out the real reason, we would be fine.

    ¡°Where¡¯s Diana?¡± Harry asked.

    ¡°She¡¯s upstairs in her room.¡±

    ¡°Is she okay?¡±

    Mom frowned. ¡°Yes¡­? Why? Did something happen at school?¡±

    I kicked his shin as discreetly as I could. ¡°We¡¯re just¡­ making sure she¡¯s okay. You know, with everything going on with her.¡±

    Dad checked his security app. ¡°She¡¯s been reading. She was actually pretty quiet when she came, but Ms. Howells didn¡¯t say anything, so¡­¡±

    ¡°Did you ask her anything?¡± I asked.

    ¡°The usual, if she was feeling okay. She said today was boring, but she had a good time at tryouts. She wasn¡¯t in the talking mood, so I let her be.¡±

    I headed to the stairs. ¡°I¡¯ll go and say hi. I haven¡¯t talked to her.¡±

    ¡°Wait, you-¡± Mom stopped, letting me go. ¡°I¡¯ll let him talk to her, then we¡¯ll get to the bottom of this.¡±

    I knocked on Diana¡¯s door and she let me come in. She was sprawled on her bed, reading Pride and Prejudice. She seemed pretty peaceful¡­

    ¡°Hey. How¡¯s everything?¡± I sat on the bed. She didn¡¯t look at me. ¡°Um¡­ Tom and Harry told me what happened.¡±

    Now she looked. ¡°What?¡± Her eyes were puffy.

    ¡°They¡­ showed me a video. Of what happened at your tryouts.¡±

    She remained silent, then glanced at the camera glaring at us.

    ¡°You want to talk in my room instead?¡± I asked quietly so they wouldn¡¯t hear us. She nodded and slid off the bed, leaving the book face-down on the mattress.

    As soon as we went into my room, she collapsed on her knees in tears. I quickly embraced her, kneeling on the floor, and rocked her back and forth. Her body was trembling violently.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Diana.¡± I shook my head, trying not to get angry again. ¡°I can¡¯t believe¡­¡± She cried for a few more moments until she was tired. She sniffled and pulled away. I went to get a tissue box for her.

    ¡°I was so close¡­¡± she sighed.

    ¡°What?¡± I gave her the tissue. She blew her nose and shook her head.

    ¡°I don¡¯t get it¡­¡± She wiped her reddened eyes. ¡°I really don¡¯t get it. I just¡­ I¡¯m so¡­¡±

    ¡°Hey, relax. It¡¯s okay.¡± I hugged her again. ¡°You don¡¯t have to go back to school. We can tell Mom and Dad.¡±

    This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    She shook her head again. ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Diana-¡±

    ¡°Please, just don¡¯t say anything. They¡¯ll make everything worse. It¡¯s not worth it,¡± she said.

    ¡°Diana, what they did¡­¡±

    ¡°I know. But don¡¯t.¡± She looked down at my hands and frowned, looking at my knuckles. ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°Oh, uh¡­ I¡­ fell.¡±

    She looked up at me in shock. ¡°Did you get in a fight?¡±

    ¡°No. I fell. On my¡­ knuckles.¡± I smiled.

    She gave me a look. ¡°Kyle. What did you do? Is that why you guys took the car? Oh, God, what did you do?¡± She covered her mouth.

    I sighed, rubbing my neck. ¡°Okay, we weren¡¯t gonna let it go.¡±

    She stood, pacing. ¡°What did you do?¡±

    ¡°You expect us to see something like that and not do something?¡±

    ¡°Your knuckles are black, Kyle! Look at these!¡± She took my hand again and inspected the ugly bruises. ¡°You didn¡¯t kill him, did you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, come on, Di.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just asking! You need some ice.¡± She rushed to the door.

    ¡°What are you so worried about me for? You¡¯re the one who-¡± I stopped, noticing one of her PJ pant legs rolled up. Below the fuzzy, soft fabric with flower patterns was a bandage. ¡°What are those?¡± I pointed.

    She looked down and paled. ¡°Nothing.¡±

    ¡°Diana¡­ please don¡¯t tell me-¡±

    ¡°I said they¡¯re nothing!¡± She ran down the hall to her room. I chased after her, but she locked her door. I sighed, leaning my forehead on the wood. Downstairs, I heard Mom talking.

    ¡°When did this happen?!¡± I heard her saying, crying. A pause. ¡°Well- did you do anything? Did you expel them?¡± Another pause. ¡°Are you kidding me?! Suspension? What kind of ¡®incident¡¯ are we talking about?¡±

    ¡°Mom,¡± Harry said. I heard him play the video. After it was over, Mom was in tears.

    ¡°Our son just showed us a video of what happened. They did that, and all you¡¯re doing is suspending them? They should be in freaking JAIL!¡± Dad shouted.

    She was doing so much better, and they made everything worse. Unless¡­ she wasn¡¯t doing better at all. And we were stupid enough to believe it.

    ~~~

    Diana

    November 22<sup>nd</sup>, 2023

    t_lowe450: hey Diana

    I smiled a bit, feeling some weight lift off my shoulders. I immediately texted back.

    Sunflowergirl3482: Hi, Tony.

    I didnt see u yesterday, he said. u ok?

    I¡¯ve just been sick with a cold. I glanced up at the camera watching me.

    It was Thanksgiving break, but I would also take some days off from school to process what happened. Lucas and most of the others involved were suspended and they wouldn¡¯t be selected for the team. They also sent me written apologies via email¡ª fake ones, obviously.

    Oh, im sorry ur sick, Tony said. But what i meant was, r u ok after the other day? I heard what happened at ur tryouts

    Im so sorry that happened, ppl r so sick

    Sorry i missed the beating too, I heard ur foster bros went to the guys house

    I took a deep breath. I¡¯m doing okay. I guess I¡¯m just not going for the team.

    R u going back online? he asked.

    No, I¡¯m staying. At least I can see you guys. I don¡¯t want to give those people the satisfaction, either.

    Im really sorry, he repeated.

    You don¡¯t have to apologize, I told him, sending a smiley.

    He then sent a voice message. I lowered the volume and played it. ¡°I was just talking to the others. We were thinking¡­ tomorrow¡¯s Thanksgiving, and we were planning on having lunch together, all of us, and some other friends. We have dinner with our families. So¡­ you want to come?¡±

    Thanksgiving. Susan and Davis had offered to bring me with them, but I didn¡¯t want to deal with the rest of their family. Nonetheless, I could tell they were just being polite, and didn¡¯t want to take me for that same reason.

    I was supposed to go with my therapist, but hanging with everyone sounded better. It was an appropriate goodbye, now that I thought about it.

    ¡°That sounds good,¡± I recorded, telling him my plans. I was basically free the whole weekend.

    ¡°Oh, so¡­ you don¡¯t have any plans for dinner, either?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Not really. It wouldn¡¯t be appropriate to show up at the Fields¡¯, you know?¡±

    One sec, he texted.

    I stared at the camera again. I knew Ms. Howells was watching, along with my foster parents. I was tempted to make a face at it, but decided against it.

    Thanksgiving was always a nightmare. Serving large families, being ordered to sit in a corner with scraps, being locked in my room. The few good families I had always invited me and let me eat with them, but my stomach wouldn¡¯t react so well to the turkey and mashed potatoes and everything.

    Tony finally sent a message. ¡°So, uh¡­ I just talked to my parents. Um¡­ I thought¡­ if you¡¯re okay with it¡ª if you¡¯re not, don¡¯t sweat it. Um¡­¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°If you¡¯re not with anyone for Thanksgiving dinner¡­ would you like to come over my place? We usually have dinner with the rest of our family on Saturday, so it¡¯ll be just me, my sister, and my parents on Thursday. If you¡¯re not comfortable, don¡¯t worry about it. Just another option if you don¡¯t feel like going with your therapist¡­ but I bet she¡¯s nice. I¡¯m not saying she¡¯s¡­ i-it¡¯s an offer. Heh.¡±

    I paused. On one hand, I was distracted by how adorable he was when he was nervous. I could imagine his face reddening and his hands kneading together. On the other¡­ Thanksgiving with his family?

    I felt terrible. He was going so out of his way. He deserved better. But he would be hurt if I said no. Addie was there, and his parents were nice people, from what I could tell.

    ¡°Yeah, sure. Um¡­ that¡¯ll be great. Dr. Cawman¡¯s sweet, but¡­ yeah. I¡¯ll go. If it¡¯s not too much trouble. Th-thank you, Tony. That¡¯s really sweet of you.¡±

    The group chat soon started blowing up with plans to get together tomorrow afternoon. I went to my closet, wondering what to wear. It wouldn¡¯t be anything fancy, would it? But I had to look presentable. Especially in front of Tony¡¯s whole family.

    ihavetoomanyAPs: u guys want to go somewhere special?

    Kate_T_Jacobs536: we cant eat too much, my fam has dinner earlier so I dont want to spoil my apetite

    dawsonaction: we can just do something small and casual

    ihavetoomanyAPs: theres actually a new milkshake place uptown, i tried it w my cousin and it was great, if u guys want we can go tehre

    there*

    dawsonaction: sounds good

    alma_santiago2860: yea i have to eat something small my mom goes all out on thorax

    thanksgiving* autocorrect

    idkwtdwml: thorax?? Autocorrect wth?

    I chuckled. It would be fun being with all of them. As terrible as I felt, it seemed fair. I could spend enough time with them. Maybe give them a few things¡­ nah, I didn¡¯t have anything to give them. Just the dress and shoes they bought me.

    One last Thanksgiving was worth it.

    ~~~

    ¡°Happy Thanksgiving!¡± Thelma hugged me tight when she arrived at Shaka-Laka-Shakes, the new place set up at the nearby strip mall.

    ¡°I brought you this.¡± I gave her one of the small packages I brought with me.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to get me anything!¡± She took it with care, reading the card I¡¯d taped on top.

    ¡°It¡¯s Thanksgiving, and I¡¯m thankful for all of you, so I wanted to show it.¡± I smiled.

    ¡°Aw, Di.¡± She hugged me again. ¡°I didn¡¯t bring anything.¡± She gasped when she opened the box, which contained a watch. It was pretty old and precious to me; the Martinezes gave it to me as a birthday present. I didn¡¯t want to ruin it, so I always had it hidden with my other belongings.

    I couldn¡¯t really buy anything, so I thought Thelma could have it. It seemed pretty trashy now that I realized. ¡°I wanted to buy you something, but I didn¡¯t get to,¡± I quickly said. ¡°You can give it back if you don¡¯t like it-¡±

    ¡°Diana, are you kidding me? It¡¯s pretty. I love it.¡± She hugged me once again. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    I gave Alma a skirt I never wore, but was very pretty¡ª just not on me. It suited her better and it was her favorite color. For Mildred, I saved a ¡®Best Friends¡¯ pin I got when I was little, though I never remembered who gave it to me. For Kate, I had a couple of shirts that fit her. They were really pretty and brought out her eyes.

    Susan had bought me a couple of new diaries, but I wouldn¡¯t use them, so I gave them to Blanche. She said she liked doodling. Each gift had a card on top telling them how much I appreciated them.

    For Tony, I didn¡¯t have much to give him, so I whipped up a small scrapbook with pictures of us, mostly from Homecoming. I worked almost all night to make it, until Ms. Howells called me and told me to ¡®get to sleep¡¯. I¡¯d stuck my tongue out at her in the camera with my favorite gesture.

    ¡°How¡¯ve you been doing lately?¡± Mildred asked while we drank our milkshakes.

    I stirred the foam around in my Mango-Berry Bubble Delight. ¡°Really good, actually. Better now that I¡¯m with you guys. I was getting lonely.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ you¡¯re not getting on the track team?¡± Blanche then asked.

    Silence fell. I sipped my shake and shook my head. ¡°No, no. I¡¯m not.¡±

    ¡°Blanche.¡± Alma nudged her.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I just wanted to-¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re fine.¡±

    After another awkward pause, Tony said, ¡°You know that Lucas guy? I heard he might get expelled.¡±

    ¡°Expelled?¡± I couldn¡¯t help the shock.

    ¡°Yeah, they said he¡¯s done a lot of messed-up stuff in the past and this was the last straw.¡±

    ¡°About time they actually do something,¡± said Alma.

    ¡°A-and I heard the boy that defended you g-got suspended,¡± Kate told me.

    I sipped my shake again. ¡°Yeah, Rick.¡±

    ¡°Rick?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Amy¡¯s, uh, boyfriend.¡±

    ¡°Oh, she had a boyfriend? Wow,¡± said Alma.

    ¡°Girl, where have you been? I know that, and I wasn¡¯t even here last year,¡± said Mildred.

    ¡°He sounds like a cool person,¡± said Tony.

    I nodded sincerely, smiling a bit. ¡°Yeah, he really is.¡± I had to thank him somehow¡­ but I didn¡¯t want to hurt him more than I already had. My existence hurt him enough. And he probably wouldn¡¯t have gotten involved that much if I didn¡¯t look the way I did. Distancing myself from him was the best way I could repay him.

    The others came a little while later. We were joined by Josh, Allison from my Graphic Design class, and twins named Theo and Darian. They were all really nice. After we finished our milkshakes, we stayed inside talking for a while until it started to get dark. From there, Tony would drive me back to his place for Thanksgiving dinner.

    ¡°Thank you for your gift, Diana.¡± Alma hugged me tight. ¡°I¡¯ll see you at school on Monday!¡±

    Mildred came forward, hugging me and whispering in my ear: ¡°Make this chance count, girl.¡± She pulled away, winking, but I answered with a quirked brow. She chuckled at my cluelessness and whispered again. ¡°You¡¯re meeting the parents, Di. Don¡¯t pass up this chance. Be a queen.¡±

    My cheeks tingled. ¡°Mildred, it¡¯s just Thanksgiving.¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡± She giggled mischievously. ¡°I won¡¯t be surprised if he asks you out tomorrow, too.¡± She went to her mother¡¯s car before I could answer.

    Kate later left, going with Thelma in a Rideshare. ¡°Have f-fun at Tony¡¯s, Diana.¡± She winked. Thelma joined in on the teasing, saying, ¡°Yeah, and take lots of pictures!¡± She leaned in to whisper, ¡°Try to get some alone time.¡±

    I walked with Tony to the car, but stopped when I saw Blanche leaning against the wall of the milkshake shop. ¡°Just give me one sec?¡± I asked him.

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    I trotted over to Blanche. ¡°Hey. Your foster parents not picking you up yet?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°They¡¯re always late. I¡¯ll just hang out here for a while.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t said where you¡¯re going for Thanksgiving.¡±

    ¡°Oh, my mom¡¯s picking me up tonight. We always spend Thanksgiving with our family. It¡¯s the only time everyone¡¯s there.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s really nice.¡±

    She shrugged again. ¡°Awkward. But nice. She tries, but¡­ the family isn¡¯t happy with her, you know? She¡¯s trying, though, I know she is.¡±

    ¡°What happened? If you don¡¯t mind telling me,¡± I quickly said.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. She¡¯s been¡­ addicted to a lot of things since my dad left. I¡¯ve been in and out of foster care. Before, I used to live with a different family when Mom was having her ¡®episodes¡¯, but they couldn¡¯t take me in this time, so I¡¯m with the McCarthys¡¯. Mom lives farther away, so that¡¯s why I moved schools and everything last year.¡± She sighed, rubbing her arms. ¡°They¡¯re okay. I just hope I can go back with Mom soon. I miss her.¡±

    ¡°It must be hard.¡±

    She hesitated, guilt swimming in her eyes. ¡°Di¡­ listen. I¡¯m really sorry about what happened that time¡­ with the club, and the newspaper¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s all water under the bridge, it¡¯s fine.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not. I made myself believe I was doing something good, but I was actually being a trash person. I never actually apologized, so¡­ I¡¯m very sorry.¡±

    I smiled. ¡°Apology accepted.¡±

    She stepped forward. ¡°Just know we¡¯re always here for you, okay? Even if we¡¯re a country away. Don¡¯t think¡­ you¡¯re alone. Or that we don¡¯t like you. You¡¯re our friend.¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer. After a few seconds, I gave her a hug. The pain and guilt was overwhelming. Remembering Tony, I soon pulled away.

    ¡°You better get back to Tony,¡± Blanche said. ¡°He seems pretty excited to have dinner with you.¡± She smirked.

    I laughed, wiping my tears so they wouldn¡¯t mess up my makeup. ¡°Thank you, Blanche.¡± I squeezed her hands and went back to Tony¡¯s car.

    He stepped aside, opening the passenger door, and waved me in. ¡°Miss Watson.¡±

    I laughed and got inside. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    We drove off. I watched as Blanche¡¯s figure grew smaller, her foot impatiently tapping on the grass.

    ¡°You have a good time?¡± Tony asked me.

    ¡°Yeah. It was really fun.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not¡­ nervous or anything, right?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡±

    ¡°Good. You¡¯ll like my parents. And Addie hasn¡¯t stopped talking about you. She¡¯s dying to see you.¡±

    ¡°I am, too,¡± I giggled.

    We reached Tony¡¯s house and he escorted me to the door. The biting cold of November disappeared into a homey warmth.

    ¡°Tony!¡± A brunette woman came forward, smiling at us.

    ¡°Hey, Mom.¡± Tony kissed her on the cheek.

    She looked at me. ¡°You must be Diana. It¡¯s nice to meet you.¡± She took my hands.

    ¡°Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lowe.¡±

    ¡°You two can hang out in the living room if you want. We haven¡¯t finished making dinner yet. You¡¯re not too hungry, are you?¡± she asked, leading us to the comfy sofas.

    ¡°We just had milkshakes, so I¡¯m not that hungry right no-¡± The wind was knocked out of me when Addie flew into me like a bullet, her short arms wrapping around my waist. I inhaled, laughing, and hugged her.

    ¡°Addie! I¡¯m sorry about that, Diana.¡± Her mother frowned disapprovingly.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±

    She pulled away, smiling, and signed, ¡°I¡¯m happy to see you again!¡±

    ¡°I am, too,¡± I signed back.

    ¡°Hello? Your brother?¡± Tony motioned to himself. Addie rolled her eyes and hugged him.

    ¡°You¡¯re learning sign?¡± We looked up, seeing a man come forward, wiping his hands with a towel. He looked a lot like Tony, except he had black hair. ¡°Nice to meet you¡­ Dana?¡±

    ¡°Diana.¡±

    ¡°Diana, sorry.¡± He shook my hand.

    ¡°You¡¯re good. And, yeah, I started learning sign thanks to Tony,¡± I answered.

    ¡°That¡¯s very good. Dinner will be up in a bit. You guys can watch FilmX if you want.¡± Tony¡¯s mom turned to her husband, leading him back into the kitchen, the source of the heavenly smells.

    ¡°You want to watch a movie or something?¡± Tony sat down with me on the sofa. Addie bounced next to me.

    ¡°I¡¯m okay with anything.¡±

    Addie signed a suggestion, but I couldn¡¯t catch up with her fingerspelling. That was the hardest part of sign language for me. ¡°What did she say?¡±

    ¡°She wants to watch Playable Character, but we¡¯ve watched that a million times.¡± Tony signed to her. She pouted grumpily.

    ¡°Oh, yeah, I heard about that one.¡±

    ¡°Have you seen it?¡±

    ¡°Not yet.¡±

    ¡°Do you¡­ want to?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to,¡± I reassured.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. We can watch it one last time.¡± He signed to Addie again. ¡°But that¡¯s it. Over and over¡­¡±

    ¡°You sure?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, any movie is fun if you¡¯re here.¡± He smiled at me.

    My stomach tingled. I found myself unable to meet his eyes, instead looking down at my red, sweaty hands. Addie woke me up when she made kissing noises.

    ¡°Okay, stop.¡± Tony pushed her over playfully. ¡°We¡¯ll watch it.¡±

    As the opening credits appeared on the screen, I shifted to make myself more comfortable. ¡°Thanks for inviting me, Tony,¡± I said.

    ¡°Sure. It¡¯s the least I can do.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    He smiled that cute smile that made my knees weak. I was relieved I was sitting down. ¡°Today¡¯s a day to show extra appreciation for what you¡¯ve got. And what I¡¯ve got is an amazing¡­¡± He swallowed. ¡°An amazing friend. I¡¯m thankful to know you.¡±

    The guilt once again rose within me. I tried my best to smile, focusing on the beauty of his words. ¡°I¡¯m thankful for you, too,¡± I said honestly. ¡°Very thankful. You¡­ you make me really happy. All of you do. I can¡¯t remember the last time I had friends like you guys.¡±

    We shifted closer together on the sofa. I snuck a glance at Addie, who had the widest grin on her face as she snuggled against my side.

 25~ What Have We Done?

    November 27<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    It worked. One way or another, it worked. The plan was flawed, maybe even stupid, but it worked¡­ somehow. They were getting sloppy.

    Ms. Howells would stop watching me at a certain point at night. I had a small window of opportunity. Tomorrow was my doctor¡¯s appointment, so if I waited, the window would close and I¡¯d never get out of here.

    At 11:00, I texted Ms. Howells good night as a test. She didn¡¯t see the message or answer, so she was most likely sleeping. I slid out of my covers, slowly approaching the camera on the bookshelf.

    Carefully, I pulled on the shelf so it could lean. My arms trembled, struggling under the weight, and books fell onto the carpet. I winced at the noise, but they weren¡¯t too loud. When the camera fell, I pushed the case up as quietly as possible.

    With great satisfaction, I smashed the thing to pieces with my foot. I checked my chat with Ms. Howells to make sure she hadn¡¯t seen anything.

    On my desk sat my diary, hatched open to a certain page, where I¡¯d written an apology to the Fields and my friends. They really didn¡¯t deserve this, and as much as I didn¡¯t want to hurt them, I didn¡¯t have a choice. Soon, they¡¯d see that this was for the best. They were better off without me. The world was better without me in it.

    I checked if my door was locked one more time. Every noise paralyzed me. I would expect someone to barge in at any second and pin me to the floor. I couldn¡¯t let them stop me again. I missed my chance all those years ago. I wouldn¡¯t lose it now.

    I took my bottle of antidepressants. I had gotten another prescription filled recently, so there were plenty left. I poured the remaining pills in my hand. They felt soft and smooth against my palm. I took the large glass of water in my other hand.

    This was it. No turning back. I would be free.

    My foster parents¡¯ faces flashed through my mind. Then their sons¡¯. Then Tony¡¯s, then my friends¡¯. Mr. Brian. Little Addie.

    I¡¯m sorry. But I¡¯m not strong enough.

    Maybe I¡¯d finally see Mom and Dad. Would they still love me? Would they be disappointed, or would they understand? I wasn¡¯t sure. I used to believe in Heaven when I was little, but now¡­ it was so uncertain.

    Wherever I¡¯d go, at least I¡¯d be free, and everyone would be happier.

    I tried to move my hand, but it was as if the pills gained 1000 pounds of weight. I couldn¡¯t command it to move to my mouth. My limbs were held down somehow.

    I could hear people saying it wasn¡¯t worth it. There was a chance. It could be better. I just had to give the world another shot.

    But I gave it one too many.

    I tried to wrench my hand out of the invisible grip, but it was strong. One last fight for my life. One last antagonist in my mind.

    My vision blacked out for a moment. I inhaled, my heart pounding at the blindness. When I came to, the glass of water was empty and the pills were gone. A bitter taste registered in the back of my throat.

    I¡­ I did it. I did it. I was free. It was all over. No more. I was free. They were free. I could disappear. No one would suffer anymore.

    I lied in bed, pulling the covers over me. I was just going to sleep¡­ and never waking up.

    ~~~

    Kyle

    ¡°WAKE UP.¡±

    I gasped at the cold air caressing my ear, my body shooting up in bed. My heart was going at 200 beats per second at the fright. But when I looked around, no one was there.

    I sighed, going to Jack and pushing him. He groaned, moving away. ¡°What¡¯d you wake me up for?¡± I mumbled.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You just whispered in my ear.¡±

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t.¡± He groaned again. ¡°Go away.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. I had to go to the bathroom, anyway. Going out in the hallway, I shivered. The heater was supposed to be on. Why was I so cold all of a sudden?

    I found myself looking at Diana¡¯s door¡­ or Amy¡¯s door. Maybe it belonged to both of them. It was shut.

    But¡­ that wasn¡¯t allowed.

    I suddenly got a horrible feeling. Goosebumps grew all over me. I found myself speed-walking to the door and knocking. ¡°Diana?¡± I called.

    No answer, as expected. I knocked again, calling louder. Not a sound. Checking the doorknob, I found it locked.

    Oh, my God. I pushed my weight against the door, trying hard to open it, but it wouldn¡¯t budge. I stepped back and kicked it with all my might until it broke open. I could hear my family groaning as they woke up in their rooms.

    Rushing inside, I saw Diana hunched over the side of her bed. I ran to her side, but stopped before a puddle of vomit on the carpet.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on in there?¡± I heard Mom say in the hall.

    ¡°Diana?¡± I leaned forward, shaking her. She was soaking wet and burning to the touch. She didn¡¯t move or respond.

    ¡°Kyle? What happened?¡± Footsteps approached.

    ¡°Diana.¡± I shook her again. ¡°Diana.¡±

    ¡°Oh, my God, what happened?!¡± Dad climbed on the bed, followed by Mom.

    I pressed my fingers to her neck, trying to find a pulse, but found none. My head spun and I leaned back, holding onto the wall to support myself.

    ¡°Someone get a phone and call 911.¡± Dad gathered Diana into his arms and moved her to the floor. Harry ran out of the room, probably getting his phone. Tommy knelt down, fingering a pile of debris on the floor. I could just barely recognize the camera lens in the moonlight.

    Harry ran back inside with the phone, turning on the light. ¡°Is she breathing?¡± he asked.

    Dad shook his head, panting in panic, but didn¡¯t move. Mom was sobbing uncontrollably, her hands shaking violently.

    ¡°She¡¯s not breathing,¡± Harry said into the phone.

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t feel a pulse,¡± I added.

    Jack suddenly rushed to her side. ¡°Mom, Dad, get out of the way.¡± He looked into Diana¡¯s mouth, then locked his fingers and started pressing on her chest rhythmically.

    ¡°My brother¡¯s giving her CPR.¡± Harry paused, then nodded. ¡°Keep going, Jack.¡±

    He didn¡¯t respond, breathing into her mouth, then doing more chest compressions. I could only stare blankly, unable to comprehend what was happening.

    ¡°Diana Watson,¡± Harry said clearly. ¡°I¡¯m Harry. Harry Field.¡± He paused, then told us, ¡°They¡¯re on their way, they¡¯ll be here in a few minutes. Keep doing CPR.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to run out of breath, so¡­¡± Jack was already panting as he pressed on Diana¡¯s chest. ¡°When I¡­ tell you¡­ one of you¡­ switch with me.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know how to do this!¡± Tommy exclaimed stressfully.

    ¡°Just do exactly what I¡¯m doing.¡± He continued until he started pressing a bit weaker. He then moved away.

    ¡°I¡¯ll try.¡± Harry gave a panicking Tommy the phone and knelt at her side. He hesitantly interlocked his fingers and tried pressing down.

    ¡°Sit up a bit straighter,¡± Jack instructed. ¡°100 beats per minute. Press straight down. Good. Now pinch her nose and breathe into her mouth. Make sure her chest¡¯s rising.¡±

    An anxious tension built up in the room. Dad started praying under his breath along with Mom, who held Diana¡¯s hand. I looked up at the ceiling, feeling my cheeks moisten with tears.

    I¡¯m sorry¡­ Lord, I¡¯m sorry¡­ please¡­ don¡¯t do this. Give us one more chance. Just one more. We¡¯re so sorry. I¡¯m sorry. Please forgive me. She doesn¡¯t deserve this. Please.

    We soon heard sirens down the street. Tommy seemed to relax a little, breathing more normally. Dad sighed and whispered, ¡°Thank you, Jesus.¡± Jack quickly ran out to flag down the ambulance. He nearly tripped as he left, but he stayed on his feet.

    ¡°Is she breathing yet?¡± I asked anxiously.

    Harry shook his head and relentlessly continued pressing on her chest and giving her air.

    I covered my tear-soaked face, leaning against the bedside.

    What have we done?

    ~~~

    Jack

    I couldn¡¯t bring myself to look at anyone¡¯s eyes. During the drive to the hospital and the wait, my eyes never left my shoes. My neck was starting to hurt.

    Someone sat next to me and handed me a bottle of water. ¡°Thirsty?¡± Kyle¡¯s voice resonated.

    I quietly shook my head, but he nudged my hand with the cold, wet bottle. ¡°Take a sip.¡± Sighing, I took the bottle and opened it, drinking only a bit.

    Just for a moment, I dared to glance up at the doors leading to the operating room. Diana¡¯s favorite caseworker, Mr. Brian, waited anxiously, leaning against the wall. Ms. Bredlong paced angrily while talking to Ms. Howells, apparently arguing. Diana¡¯s other caseworkers and her therapist stood in a corner.

    ¡°You should call Amelia, tell her what happened,¡± Kyle said, pulling out his phone. ¡°I¡¯m gonna call Nicole.¡± He stood.

    I felt bad calling this early in the morning, but it was an emergency situation. I stayed seated and opened Amelia¡¯s number.

    ¡°You¡¯re not gonna call Shirley?¡± I heard Harry ask a few seats away.

    ¡°No, she¡¯s¡­ been avoiding me since I told her ¡®We need to talk¡¯,¡± Tommy replied.

    ¡°You don¡¯t think she should know about this?¡±

    There was a pause. ¡°I¡¯ll text her real quick. I don¡¯t need her hassling me right now.¡± He then said, ¡°We should tell Diana¡¯s friends. Tony, Mildred, all of them.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll call Mildred.¡±

    I glanced behind me, where Mom was on the phone with our uncle. Dad was also talking to our family, asking for prayers. Everyone was talking to someone.

    I finally pressed ¡®Call¡¯ and held the phone to my ear, waiting. ¡°Jack?¡± Amelia¡¯s sleepy voice said.

    My voice caught in my throat. I wanted to speak to her, but shame gripped me like a snake wrapping around my body.

    ¡°Hello?¡±

    ¡°H-hi,¡± I squeaked out.

    ¡°Babe, what¡¯s wrong?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry to wake you. Um¡­¡± I cleared my throat, feeling it tighten painfully. ¡°I, um¡­ something¡­¡±

    ¡°Jack, are you sleep-calling me?¡± she asked with a small giggle.

    I wanted to laugh, but instead, a sob escaped my lips. I held my fist to my mouth. ¡°Jack? What happened? You¡¯re worrying me.¡± Amelia¡¯s tone changed drastically.

    ¡°She did it,¡± I choked out. ¡°She tried to¡­¡± I closed my eyes. My face burned red in shame as I started crying. How could I shed a tear, after¡­

    ¡°Who did what?¡±

    ¡°Diana, she- she tried to- she¡­¡±

    ¡°Calm down, babe. What happened? Where are you?¡±

    ¡°Hospital. She tried to do it, Amelia. She might be¡­¡±

    After a few moments, I heard her crying on the other line. ¡°Oh, my God, no!¡±

    I dropped the phone from my ear, allowing myself to cry for a few minutes. I felt so pathetic. So disgusting. This was all my fault. She would¡¯ve been better. She would¡¯ve been fine if I hadn¡¯t been such a piece of¡­

    I brought the phone back to my ear. I could hear Amelia sniffling, but she wasn¡¯t crying much anymore. ¡°Did you¡­ just get there? Or¡­¡±

    ¡°It feels like hours.¡± Checking the time, I read 3:05 AM, but I wasn¡¯t sure when we¡¯d woken up, or when we got here. ¡°I think¡­ it was around¡­ maybe 12:30? When we found her. We called an ambulance.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be there in a bit.¡± I heard shuffling. ¡°Do you want me to bring anything?¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine.¡± I wiped my eyes. ¡°Thanks, Amelia. I¡¯m sorry I woke you up like this.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault.¡±

    But it was my fault. It was all my fault.

    The waiting room started filling up for her. Thelma and her family came, then Mildred, then the other three¡ª I couldn¡¯t remember their names. Tony came with his family, too. Amelia then joined me, but I couldn¡¯t look at her face, either. Nicole joined Kyle.

    Hours and hours¡­ it felt like it would never end.

    A little girl was sitting with Tony, leaning on his shoulder. His little sister, probably. I felt a tinge of envy. Amy¡¯s presence would make everything so much better.

    She would be so disappointed¡­ we promised her we¡¯d be better, and we messed it all up all over again. She would be ashamed. Would she even call herself our sister after this?

    I watched Tony talk to his little sister, using sign language. She had a hearing aid in her right ear. Was that why Diana started learning ASL? She mentioned it a couple times when she switched to online school.

    Harry stood, going up to Tony. After talking to him, he started signing slowly to the girl. He was learning ASL, so I wasn¡¯t surprised.

    I reached into my back pocket and unfolded the page I¡¯d torn out of Diana¡¯s diary, addressed to all of us. Her handwriting was beautiful. The opposite of Amy¡¯s¡ª hers was way too messy to understand.

    Bracing myself, I read the note.

    To my foster family and friends:

    I¡¯m so sorry it had to be this way. But I don¡¯t see any other way out of this.

    I should never have come into your lives. You were already going through enough, and with me in the picture, everything got so much worse. I¡¯ve thought about it a lot. The only reason so many people treat me like this is because I deserve it. There¡¯s too much of a history to deny it.

    All I can say is I¡¯m sorry. I know you¡¯ll probably be upset, but trust me when I say it¡¯s for the best. The world is infected, and the virus needs to be killed. It¡¯s best if the virus self-destructs.

    Don¡¯t think it¡¯s your fault. All of you: Susan, Davis, Kyle, Jack, Tommy, and Harry; all of you showed me so much love. Despite the rocky start, you were one of the best families I¡¯ve ever lived with. Please don¡¯t blame yourselves. I¡¯ve been thinking about this for years, long before I met you. I¡¯m grateful to have met you. You¡¯re all broken¡ª I understand. I only made everything worse for you.

    To Mr. Brian, Ms. Juno, Mr. Pierce, and Dr. Cawman: Thank you for your hard work. I know you did your best to fight against the corrupt system you¡¯re working in. Thank you for finding me a perfect final home. I always appreciated all of you. And thank you for the help and compassion you¡¯ve given me.

    To Tony, Addie, Thelma, Mildred, Kate, Blanche, and Alma: Thank you for being the best friends I could ever ask for. At least I can leave knowing I had true friends in this world. I never thought this was possible, or that it even existed. You proved me wrong. Thank you so much for letting me smile one more time. I¡¯m so sorry for the pain I¡¯ve caused you, and am causing you now, but I hope your lives will be better now.

    Everything will be just fine. I can see my parents now. We can all be happy.

    ¡ªDiana

    I stood, going to my mom. ¡°Mom?¡±

    She turned, hiding her tears. I held out the note. ¡°Diana¡­ left this.¡±

    She stared at it for a few seconds, then took it, nodding. I went back to my seat.

    The clock never seemed to change. Second after second, minute after minute. Some of our family members came to support us. More people came and went. Anxious families and friends all around. The skies outside were beginning to brighten. Time would never end.

    ¡°Diana Watson?¡±

    We all stood. Amelia clung to my arm. I embraced her, waiting for the final blow as her caseworkers talked to the doctor.

    Mr. Brian turned to my parents, telling them something. They reacted by thanking God and sighing in tearful relief. I collapsed into my seat, for the first time seeing some light in this dark situation.

    Mom and Dad¡¯s faces changed, though, when Mr. Brian continued talking. They nodded and went to sit down while all the caseworkers and the therapist followed the doctor through the door.

    She was alive. She was okay. Is it over? Would everything be normal? I quickly approached them. ¡°What happened?¡± I asked.

    ¡°She¡¯s gonna be okay,¡± said Dad.

    ¡°Can we see her?¡± Kyle also came over with Nicole.

    Mom hesitated. ¡°She¡¯s¡­ very upset right now. They¡¯ll tell us when we can see her.¡±

    Glancing anxiously at the door, I sat down again with Amelia. ¡°She¡¯s okay,¡± Amelia reassured me. ¡°She¡¯ll be okay. She just needs¡­ help.¡±

    Just because she was alive didn¡¯t mean it was all over. It was far from over.

 26~ Is It Over?

    Diana

    It started hurting.

    It was so painful that I didn¡¯t even know where it came from. There was an immense headache that spread down my spine and into my ribs. Everything was shaking around me, and I could hardly see. I felt myself holding on to my blankets and rolling back and forth in pain. It started to get hot. I threw up on the floor next to me.

    It was horrible and long. It wouldn¡¯t stop. It had all happened so fast, and yet so slow. It was too slow. I just wanted it to end.

    Everything was swirling around me. I wasn¡¯t sure what awaited me. I didn¡¯t know what to believe. Where would I end up? Where was I going? I didn¡¯t even know where I was going!

    I wanted to scream, but my mouth was shut tight. And yet, my pained yells were so loud¡­ it was unbearable.

    It would be worth it, though. It would all end soon.

    My head was in the bucket of water again. I was only 6. Those boys, who were years older than me, were all pressing me inside, holding my head with their strong hands. Water in my mouth, going down my throat, into my lungs.

    No air. I couldn¡¯t breathe. I couldn¡¯t see or hear a thing. Every time I inhaled, more water came in. I was drowning¡­ slowly and painfully¡­ into nothingness.

    Until air suddenly rushed into my lungs. A ripple of intense pain wracked my body, but I felt relieved. I was breathing. My head was out of the water.

    Everything was a blur. There were voices yelling. They were garbled, and I couldn¡¯t make out what they were saying, but I could just barely hear my name.

    Arms wrapped around me, hands stroked my hair, caressed my cheeks. A kiss was laid on my forehead.

    There were loud, whiny noises. I felt something rumbling underneath me. Lights flashed through my eyelids. Something pinched my hand. Then a rhythmic beeping. I smelled something weird.

    ¡°Amy?¡± a weak voice resounded next to me. I hardly reacted, too disoriented to care. ¡°Am I¡­ am I dead?¡± The voice faded into the loud beeping. I wanted it to stop.

    Then my eyes opened.

    I saw a light, but it wasn¡¯t the heavenly light I expected. It hurt my eyes for a few moments until they adjusted. I heard a rhythmic beeping on my left.

    Is it over?

    Looking around, I didn¡¯t see my parents. I was in a white room, in a bed, with an itchy gown on. There were machines and a curtain next to me. It smelled like alcohol and disinfectant.

    It hit me. I was in the hospital. I was alive.

    I was alive.

    My head shook. ¡°No¡­¡± I took in the sight of the hospital room, the heart monitor next to me, the IV in my hand. Nurses were sitting near me, noticing my awakening. ¡°No, no, no¡­¡± The beeping got faster.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, sweetheart.¡± A nurse approached me. ¡°Don¡¯t panic. You¡¯re in the hospital. You¡¯re safe.¡±

    ¡°No, no, I can¡¯t be here¡­¡± I tried to sit up, but he gently pushed me down. I was too weak to resist.

    ¡°Diana, it¡¯s going to be all right. You¡¯re safe. We¡¯re taking care of you-¡±

    ¡°No, no, you don¡¯t understand, I can¡¯t be here!¡± My voice cracked. ¡°I¡¯m not supposed to be here!¡± I reached for the IV, trying to rip it out. The other nurses suddenly crowded around me, holding my limbs down.

    ¡°Diana, please, don¡¯t do-¡±

    ¡°Get me out! Get- GET ME OUT! LET ME GO!¡± I sat up, looking for something, anything, to get me out. I planned it so well. This wasn¡¯t supposed to happen. I wanted to escape.

    ¡°Get the doctor! Call security!¡±

    ¡°Sweetheart, please, calm down, you¡¯re safe-¡±

    ¡°Please! Let me go!¡± I tipped out of the bed. The nurses caught me, keeping me from falling. I kicked, punched, screamed¡­ I couldn¡¯t be here. I had to leave.

    It was simple. I would be free. I would see Mom and Dad.

    It wasn¡¯t fair. Something so simple, so easy¡­ I couldn¡¯t do anything. I was cursed, forced to stay here. Forced to endure.

    Why did I have to be here? Why did it have to be me?! Why did everything have to be so horrible¡­?

    I soon got dizzy and convulsed, throwing up uncontrollably. Exhaustion washed over me and I collapsed on the hospital bed. I couldn¡¯t understand the voices around me. People ran all over the place. The nurses stroked my hair and whispered comforting words, but they didn¡¯t calm me at all.

    It was supposed to be over¡­

    ~~~

    I gave up soon enough. It was clear that I was alive, whether I liked it or not, and I was back in the cage. I lied alone for a while, trying not to think about anything. All I could hear was the repetitive beeping from the heart monitor next to me.

    ¡°Diana? Your, um¡­ family wants to see you,¡± a nurse said, standing at the door.

    I only stared. What would they do now? Would they send me back into the system? Would they hate me again, even worse now? Would they lock me in the basement until I was moved?

    Susan and Davis later came in, without the boys. Both their faces were tear-stained and anxious. Susan sat on my right while Davis stood to my left. I looked down, ashamed. I couldn¡¯t meet their eyes. Silence stretched out between us. I could hear their breath stuttering as they tried to find words, but they obviously had no idea what to say. I didn¡¯t know what to say. The only noise was the monitor.

    ¡°Um¡­ I-I¡­¡± Susan stammered out. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Diana.¡±

    She was sorry? For what? I was the one that caused all this drama in the first place.

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Sobs threatened to escape, tightening her voice. ¡°I don¡¯t really know what to say. Um¡­ we¡­ I made things so much worse for you. If I weren¡¯t¡­ if I hadn¡¯t¡­¡± Her strength caved, giving way to uncontrollable tears. Davis rounded the bed and took his wife into his arms.

    The tears weren¡¯t helping. It sort of felt like she was disappointed I was still here. They were so close to being free of this plague, and it was still there, tormenting them.

    Her incomprehensible bawling calmed after a few minutes so I could hear her words. ¡°It¡¯s all my fault¡­ I failed then, and I failed now¡­ it¡¯s all because of me.¡± Davis stroked her hair, whispering to her as she spoke. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±

    I remained silent. I just couldn¡¯t say anything. What could I say?

    ¡°The, um¡­ the boys want to see you,¡± Davis finally spoke. ¡°Are you okay with them coming in?¡±

    I didn¡¯t respond at all. It was as if I stopped caring about what was happening around me.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna call them now¡­¡± Davis left Susan¡¯s side. ¡°You sure?¡±

    I gave him an affirmative silence. He then left briefly, then came back, gluing himself to his wife¡¯s side as his sons all entered.

    All the brothers¡¯ faces were struck with the same expressions of guilt, sadness, pain, fear, and some anger. All their eyes were red and puffy. Like their parents, they remained silent. Harry seemed to want to say something, but his voice failed every time. Minutes passed by with everyone standing there, no one saying a word. Beep¡­ beep¡­ beep¡­

    Then more faces entered. Mr. Brian, whose eyes were also red and teary. Ms. Juno. Mr. Pierce.

    Ms. Bredlong.

    I finally reacted, the heart monitor beside me beeping faster. I looked away, not in shame, but in anger¡­ and fear. How would she ruin my life now? Hopefully, with the other three here, she wouldn¡¯t be able to do much.

    If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Unless she would ¡®convince¡¯ them again that whatever she wanted was the ¡®best option¡¯ for me.

    ¡°Diana,¡± Mr. Brian said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go,¡± I blurted out.

    ¡°Go where?¡± Ms. Juno asked.

    ¡°I dunno. Wherever you¡¯re sending me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s up to what the doctor says,¡± Ms. Bredlong said coldly. ¡°You¡¯re going to be in here for a while. We¡¯ll see if we send you back to the Fields¡¯ after your stay is over, or a different household.¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°No. I¡¯m not leaving.¡±

    She cocked a brow. ¡°You did this here. Obviously, something in this household provoked you.¡± She glared at the Fields. ¡°It¡¯s best if you¡¯re removed.¡±

    ¡°Janet-¡±

    ¡°NO!¡± I shrieked, scaring everyone in the room. ¡°I¡¯m not leaving!¡±

    ¡°Diana.¡± Mr. Brian rushed over to calm me down. ¡°It¡¯s not definite yet, okay? We just have to wait-¡±

    ¡°I swear I¡¯ll do it again if you move me!¡± I shouted, tears rushing. ¡°I¡¯ll do it! I¡¯ll keep trying, and keep trying, over and over again if you move me. I won¡¯t stop! I want to stay! Please¡­¡±

    ¡°Diana, we need to know what the doctor says,¡± said Ms. Juno. ¡°We need to be sure, okay?¡±

    ¡°Sure of what?!¡±

    ¡°Calm down,¡± said Mr. Pierce. ¡°Diana, we¡¯re doing all we can. We only want the best for you, you know that.¡±

    ¡°If you want the best for me, then you¡¯ll let me stay!¡± I glanced at Susan and Davis; Susan was no longer sitting, now standing a few feet away from the bed with Davis holding her around the shoulders. I looked at my caseworkers with tears in my eyes, my jaw trembling. ¡°Please¡­ I¡¯m begging you. If you send me somewhere else, they¡¯re gonna hurt me, I know it. I won¡¯t do it again, I promise, just let me stay.¡±

    Ms. Bredlong subtly rolled her eyes. ¡°Diana, you¡¯re just going to have to wait and see, okay? Your acting isn¡¯t going to get you out of this.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯M NOT ACTING!¡±

    A nurse then rushed in. ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± She pushed through the caseworkers surrounding me. ¡°Why are there so many people in here?¡±

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Ms. Bredlong said, a bit indignant. ¡°I¡¯m her caseworker. I¡¯m entitled to-¡±

    ¡°Only one of you was supposed to come in here, not all of you. And you were supposed to leave when her caseworker came in.¡± The nurse pointed at my foster family. ¡°You¡¯re going to have to leave. You¡¯re aggravating the patient.¡±

    Susan nodded and moved away with Davis, taking the boys with them, who would glance back at me as they filed out the door.

    ¡°I¡¯ll stay and discuss-¡±

    ¡°I think you¡¯ve done enough, Janet,¡± said Mr. Pierce.

    ¡°She¡¯s just trying to-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll stay with her, okay? Just¡­ let me handle this,¡± said Mr. Brian.

    ¡°Janet, you¡¯re not helping. Come on.¡± Ms. Juno gently pushed Ms. Bredlong and Mr. Pierce out the door, leaving me with the nurse and Mr. Brian.

    ¡°Do you need anything, sweetie? A glass of water?¡± she asked kindly. I only shook my head. She smiled at Mr. Brian. ¡°I¡¯ll be right outside. Don¡¯t aggravate her.¡± She left.

    Tears flowed again and I clutched Mr. Brian¡¯s hand. ¡°Please don¡¯t put me away.¡±

    ¡°Diana.¡± He sat in the chair Susan previously occupied. ¡°I¡¯m going to do my best-¡±

    ¡°You always say that!¡±

    ¡°I always do my best,¡± he insisted. ¡°I have a good feeling, okay? I don¡¯t think they¡¯ll move you. Despite what happened, the Fields have a clean record.¡±

    I sniffled, sinking back into my pillow. The heart monitor gradually slowed down.

    ¡°But there¡¯s going to be some changes, okay? Now, I need you to stay calm.¡± He took my hand to comfort me. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best, but you need to help me.¡±

    I took some deep breaths, then finally nodded.

    ~~~

    November 30<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    It had been three days since my attempt. Nonstop lying in bed, eating some food, getting checked by doctors and nurses and others. Dr. Cawman was coming more frequently now. I wasn¡¯t sure how long I¡¯d be here, but it felt like forever already.

    I¡¯d blanked out the night I was admitted, and my arms were bleeding heavily when I came to. Nurses surrounded me, one of them with a black eye. So, not only did I have extra-thick bandages around my hands and arms, I was also tied down to my bed.

    They were trying to calm me down as if I weren¡¯t strapped down and imprisoned like a criminal. Breathing exercises, conversations, sessions, and even some games. I had a TV in my room so I could watch what I wanted¡ª I wasn¡¯t much of a TV person, but I watched anyway. There really wasn¡¯t anything good on.

    Dr. Cawman decided to take me on a walk every time she came. The hospital had a beautiful garden near the psych ward. This was the only time I was allowed out of bed, unless I needed to go to the bathroom. I still didn¡¯t feel free with the employees trailing behind us, watching my every move.

    It was very similar to the last time this happened, 4 years ago. I¡¯d tried to throw myself out of a window at the group home I was staying in. The one employee that was nice to me caught me and saved me. She¡¯d held me for a while, reassuring me that life would be better, that I had a second chance.

    What a liar.

    I found this experience better than the last, though. My therapist back then was convinced I was a pathological liar looking for attention. This time, I had someone listening to me, helping me feel better. Dr. Cawman helped my mood, but it didn¡¯t change the fact that I wanted out.

    I was allowed to call the Fields once a day, but I hadn¡¯t answered or made any calls since I got in. I just didn¡¯t want to talk to them. I knew that, sooner or later, I¡¯d have to, or Ms. Bredlong would think I was lying about wanting to stay.

    The TV screen played out a cringey movie as I lied in bed. I¡¯d just finished my walk with Dr. Cawman. I¡¯d be served lunch soon. I stared blankly at the screen, barely registering the wooden dialogue and annoying characters.

    There was a knock, diverting my attention. I expected a nurse, but instead saw a girl standing at the door. She was around my age, with red hair cascading in waves down her shoulders. Her large, pale green eyes stared at me.

    I sat up carefully. ¡°Hi?¡±

    The girl¡¯s mouth flapped as she entered, staring at me. Her expression¡­ it was that look.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± I snapped. I had way too much history with that stupid look to tolerate it now.

    She blinked, smiling sheepishly. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry. I just¡­ what¡¯s your name?¡±

    ¡°Diana. Why?¡± I said, apprehensive.

    The girl was speechless again. She moved restlessly, looking out the door. Was she even supposed to be here?

    I sighed, a bit impatient. ¡°Do you need anything?¡±

    ¡°N-no. Um¡­ it¡¯s nothing. Never mind. I¡¯m sorry.¡± She turned to leave, but was confronted by a nurse holding a tray.

    ¡°Monica, what are you doing here?¡± the woman demanded.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I was just-¡±

    ¡°You know you¡¯re not allowed in here.¡± The nurse put the tray aside. She took the phone off the wall and dialed. ¡°Do you know Ms. Watson? You need to ask for permission to visit your friends.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know her,¡± I interjected.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, she just looked so much like¡­¡±

    This piqued my interest. ¡°Amy?¡±

    Her pale green eyes snapped to me and she nodded hastily. As the nurse reported Monica¡¯s presence, the girl came up to my bedside. ¡°Y-you knew her?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ no. I just live with her family.¡±

    ¡°Her family? Wait¡­ I don¡¯t understand. Wh-who are you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m their foster daughter.¡±

    She seemed even more confused. ¡°But¡­ how¡­?¡±

    ¡°Listen, I know I¡¯m practically the spitting image of Amy, okay? I don¡¯t know why. Her parents missed her so much that they found me online and decided to take me in to help their pain, I guess. That about sums it up. That¡¯s why all her older brothers hated me, but then we sort of got along, but everyone at their school thought I was a ghost, so they tortured me until I tried to kill myself, and I failed, so I¡¯m stuck here. That¡¯s the story, ¡®kay?¡±

    Monica stared at me with a slacked jaw. ¡°Okay, Monica, you need to go back to your room. If you want to visit, you need to ask permission,¡± said the nurse.

    ¡°W-wait.¡±

    The nurse raised her brows sternly. Monica sighed and looked back at me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t know¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± She slowly left the room.

    I stared after her as the nurse approached with my food. ¡°Eat well, sweetie,¡± she said, putting the tray on the bed table.

    ¡°Who was that?¡± I asked her.

    ¡°A patient. Do you need anything?¡±

    ¡°No, but¡­ she knew Amy. How did she know Amy? They never¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Diana, I don¡¯t know who Amy is.¡±

    The family obviously knew her. I could ask them. But it would be rude to finally call them after three days, only to just ask them who this random girl was to Amy. I could call today and wait until tomorrow to ask them.

    ¡°Do you know how long she¡¯ll be here? Monica?¡± I asked the nurse.

    ¡°I can¡¯t give out patient information, Diana. But if you want to talk to her, I¡¯ll ask for you, ¡®kay? It¡¯s always good to make new friends.¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°No, it¡¯s fine.¡± I was curious, but I felt awkward about talking to her. All we would talk about would probably be Amy, and that was the last thing I really wanted to talk about.

    ¡°Are you sure?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to know who she was, that¡¯s all. It¡¯s fine. Thanks.¡± I took my utensils and started eating. That girl wasn¡¯t important, and would probably just stress me out. It was best to forget her.

    I returned my attention to the movie on TV. Bored out of my mind, I started scanning the channels for something of value. I stopped at a familiar scene, an anime. Checking the information, it read ¡®Sora¡¯. My brief smile was instantly crushed by guilt.

    Tony, Mildred, Thelma¡­ none of them would want to talk to me again for sure. They wouldn¡¯t ever want anything to do with me. I didn¡¯t blame them. But I missed them so much.

    ¡°You could use more friends, you know,¡± a sudden voice said.

    I gasped, startled, and looked at the little girl that appeared next to me. She looked at me, annoyed, and added, ¡°You knew I was here. Don¡¯t exaggerate. You brought me here, so I came.¡±

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I said.

    ¡°Like I said, you asked for me.¡±

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Then why am I here?¡± she countered.

    ¡°To torture me.¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°To you, everyone¡¯s torturing you. Everyone¡¯s so against you. Such a drama queen.¡±

    I stared at the girl, at the little me sitting in the chair. She wasn¡¯t that ¡®little¡¯, though, probably around 11. She wore the Brimstone Academy uniform¡ª a blue blazer and a plain gray skirt with white knee-high socks.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk to anyone,¡± I said.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to talk to anyone in the real world. You just want to talk to yourself, like a psycho.¡±

    ¡°Stop calling me names.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t if you didn¡¯t call yourself that. I¡¯m just your thoughts.¡±

    I sighed, irritated. ¡°Fine. What do you want?¡±

    ¡°Whatever you want. I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re thinking about me, of all the you¡¯s there are.¡± She absent-mindedly fashioned a braid in her hair.

    ¡°I was¡­ I was wondering about Monica.¡±

    ¡°Uh-huh.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ I decided not to care about her.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re trying not to care about her.¡±

    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°You want to be friends with her.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°You want to know more about Amy.¡±

    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t butt into Amy¡¯s life. That¡¯s why I¡¯m here, that¡¯s why all this happened.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s something making you want to know everything. Maybe you¡¯re just nosy,¡± 11-year old me remarked. ¡°You never learn. Always asking about stuff that doesn¡¯t have to do with you.¡±

    ¡°God, why am I talking to you?¡± I sighed.

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re thinking about friends.¡±

    ¡°So?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m the last you that made a friend. Camilla, remember? Then after that¡­ you didn¡¯t have any friends. Until now.¡±

    The realization made me stop. I stared at the door. It was true. I hadn¡¯t made friends in years¡­ until I went to Summit High. Camilla Thomas was a loyal friend of mine. She let her entire 5<sup>th</sup> Grade class ostracize her and bully her. At the end, I finally chased her away, and she grew distant. As expected, considering everything that happened.

    Then I moved, and¡­ I never had anyone to call my friend.

    I looked back at the chair, finding my younger self gone. Maybe I could talk to Dr. Cawman about it. I wasn¡¯t sure if trying to be friends with Monica was a good idea. Sticking to my current friend group was safer¡­ if they were still my friends.

 27~ Girléˆ¥æªš Best Friend

    Kyle

    December 1<sup>st</sup>, 2023

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: hey babe

    imthekingandiknowit: heyy

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: hows diana?

    imthekingandiknowit: still recuperating

    she hasnt called us

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: is she allowed?

    imthekingandiknowit: yea but she wont call idk why

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: maybe she doesnt want to talk rn

    imthekingandiknowit: Yea maybe

    im just worryed

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Worried*

    imthekingandiknowit: Nicole noooo

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Lol u know I cant stand that

    Use autocorrect

    imthekingandiknowit: Autocorrect is ^$@%

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: (ROFL emoji)

    r u allowed to visit?

    imthekingandiknowit: not yet

    we can on monday tho

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: how long is she gonna b in there?

    imthekingandiknowit: were not sure yet

    a couple weeks more maybe

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: r u feeling ok? how r u dealing with everything?

    10 seconds later

    imthekingandiknowit: idk

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: you know im always here for u right? im praying for you

    imthekingandiknowit: thank you nicole

    maybe i should pray¡­ havent done that in a long time

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea itll help

    it helps me

    imthekingandiknowit: tbh i feel really distant with god

    ig ive just been angry

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: about what?

    imthekingandiknowit: everything

    amy, diana, school, everything. its so much to deal with

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea it is

    but u dont have to deal with it alone

    u just need to ask for help

    imthekingandiknowit: ill try

    its gonna b a long pathological tho

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: ??

    imthekingandiknowit: U see?? I HATE AUTOCORRECT

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: (multiple ROFL emojis)

    imthekingandiknowit: U dont use it!

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Bc I can actually spell (laughing emoji)

    imthekingandiknowit: Very funny (rolling eyes emoji)

    ~~~

    December 3<sup>rd</sup>, 2023

    imthekingandiknowit: hey baby

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: hiii

    everything ok?

    imthekingandiknowit: yea diana called us

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: really??? Thats great!

    What did she say?

    imthekingandiknowit: she felt better today

    she said shes taking walks w her therapist in a garden there

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: theres a garden?

    imthekingandiknowit: Yea remember amy loved it

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Ohhh yea

    Thats good

    imthekingandiknowit: were going to see her tmrw

    i wanted to try and bring u but they only alow the imediate fam

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: its ok i understand

    this is something for u guys too, its ur moment

    ill just b in the way

    imthekingandiknowit: (giggling emoji)

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: what?

    imthekingandiknowit: u didnt correct my spelling

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea I noticed

    I just didnt say anything even tho I was dying here lol

    ALLOW* IMMEDIATE*

    There im ok

    imthekingandiknowit: (multiple laughing emojis)

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: What else did diana say?

    imthekingandiknowit: Oh yea guess what

    she met monica

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Monica Sullivan?

    imthekingandiknowit: yea shes at the oncology ward there

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: wow! did they talk?

    imthekingandiknowit: well monica saw diana when she was broght to the hospital bc she got a bone marrow trasplant that day, so she saw her in the ICU

    and then she went to dianas room to see who she was, and diana found out she knew amy, so she asked us who she was and we told her

    i thought wed told her about monica before, ig we didnt

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: yall dont really talk about amy w her that much tho

    imthekingandiknowit: yea ur right

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: u guys havent visited monica either right?

    imthekingandiknowit: i didnt know she was there, i thought she was at home

    Harry told me she wasnt going to school anymore

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: U should go see her

    shes probably having a hard time

    imthekingandiknowit: yea we will, ill tell mom and dad

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: one more thing

    imthekingandiknowit: ?

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: brought* transplant*

    imthekingandiknowit: ok im out lol

    ~~~

    December 5<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    imthekingandiknowit: hey babe quick question

    ur roommate works w service dogs right?

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea

    imthekingandiknowit: could u ask her for the phone number of where she works?

    4 minutes later

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: (208) 787-3647

    imthekingandiknowit: thank u babe i love youuu

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: love you toooo

    ~~~

    December 8<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: hi baby

    imthekingandiknowit: hey nic

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: hows it going? ur saw diana right?

    imthekingandiknowit: yeah today, we just got back

    she¡¯s doing a bit better

    still really depressed tho

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: did she talk to monica?

    imthekingandiknowit: Not from what I know

    I texted monica and we talked about diana but she didn¡¯t say they talked again

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Did u visit monica?

    imthekingandiknowit: Yeah we saw her but only for a few mins

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: How is she?

    imthekingandiknowit: She¡¯s really thin¡­ reminds me so much of Amy¡¯s chemo

    And she had her wig off so it hurt more

    Kind of like reliving the experience yk?

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Aww baby (teary eyes emoji)

    imthekingandiknowit: She was happy to see us tho

    You know, she said that ivy visits her all the time

    Its weird that ivy never told her about Diana

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Well ivy doesnt really like diana

    Maybe she just didnt want to talk about her

    imthekingandiknowit: That¡¯s true, shes mad at all of us

    ~~~

    December 10<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    imthekingandiknowit: hey nic

    Dianas coming back on tuesday

    thank God, they let her stay

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Really? Thank God!!!

    Im so happy

    theyre not gonna send that witch to watch her again right?

    imthekingandiknowit: no she got fired

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: really???

    imthekingandiknowit: yea lol she¡¯s under investigation but i think she¡¯s fired

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: good

    she was horrible

    imthekingandiknowit: so were thinking that we spend time with her the first day and then a couple days later u can come over

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Ok sure!

    imthekingandiknowit: And we¡¯re going to see Amy

    we haven¡¯t gone since diana came

    were thinking we can talk to her about amy and that way we can clear the air

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: great idea

    im so happy for u (heart emoji)

    imthekingandiknowit: oh and guess what?

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: what

    imthekingandiknowit: I left autocorrect on

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Really?? (laughing emoji) it helps doesnt it?

    imthekingandiknowit: Eh its ok, i only have a few settings allowed

    If it gets u to stop correcting me

    princesssoraismyQUEEN: Exactly (winking emoji)

    ~~~

    Diana

    The first time I was released from the hospital psych ward, I was sent to the Collins family. I remembered arriving there in Mr. Brian¡¯s car. Despite the house being a pretty, homey one, I saw it as a prison with barbed wires locking me inside.

    The Collins family wound up being nice. I was just about hitting puberty, so their oldest daughter, who was 16, taught me about periods and everything I didn¡¯t know much about. The two younger ones were very sweet and always invited me to play in their rooms with their toys. I was still under expulsion thanks to the fat cats at Brimstone Academy, so they homeschooled me with the other kids.

    I was apprehensive at first, thinking that at any given moment, they¡¯d turn on me like vipers and take a 180. But that never happened. They wanted to be my friends, but I wouldn¡¯t call them that¡ª they were my foster siblings only.

    As time went on, I almost gave them that title. My guard was coming down. I thought I would stay for a while. I thought maybe they could be my friends¡­ just maybe. They were so kind and different from the other kids, like Camilla was.

    Two months later, in October 2019, Mr. Brian came to pick me up. It was a regular day. I was jumping on my bed with their 7-year old son. They told me to pack up my bags and go. I remembered feeling so heartbroken and confused, wondering why they sent me back so suddenly. Even worse? All the kids knew¡­ and they didn¡¯t say a word.

    Now, four years later, as Mr. Brian drove up to the Fields¡¯ house, I was terrified.

    I wouldn¡¯t be able to fool them so easily anymore. My chance to free myself was gone. If I ever saw an open window, I¡¯d take it. Not like at school when I stood like an idiot in an empty bathroom, with plenty of time to escape.

    When the Fields visited me in the hospital, they seemed optimistic about keeping me. They were worried about me. But now that I was back, would they react the same way? Would I become just ¡®too much¡¯ for them and get sent away? Would they close themselves off?

    I wasn¡¯t close to really feeling at home here, but families like these were rare for me. With my record, not many people this decent were willing to take me in. Maybe I could somehow convince them to keep me until I aged out. I could control my tendencies. I could try not to get anxiety, or have panic attacks. I could do better. I knew I could.

    ¡°You ready?¡± Mr. Brian asked me.

    I nodded, determined to get this reunion over with. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    All I¡¯d brought with me was my phone and the backpack of extra clothing and books Susan and Davis brought to the hospital. My fingers were itching to write something. I had a lot to tell my diary.

    It was as if my diary were my only real friend. It listened, never hurt me, and understood me completely. I felt like a crazy person, making friends with a notebook. But that was the only other way I could let out my feelings without¡­ doing anything else.

    When I got out of the car, the first thing I noticed was a big banner hung over the porch, reading, ¡®Welcome Home, Diana¡¯. I couldn¡¯t help a smile and a tinge of hope. All I had to do was control myself, and they wouldn¡¯t get tired of me.

    My feet crunched the snow that had formed the past days. It went from chilly air and dead grass to freezing air and white, sparkly powder everywhere. Gulping, I went up the porch steps. It was nighttime, so it brought me right back to when I first came four months ago, having no idea about the secrets of this home. I envisioned myself walking through the door, facing the boys with their jaws slacked open as they regarded their little sister¡ª her exact double.

    I blinked the memory away. That was four months ago¡­ that was all? I felt like I¡¯d been here longer.

    Before I could knock, the door opened, revealing Susan¡¯s smiling face. She stepped forward, as if to hug me, but hesitated. I hesitated, too, at first, but wrapped my arms around her waist. Her body relaxed and she squeezed me tightly.

    That feeling¡­ it was so warm and nurturing. I¡¯d never felt that¡­ or maybe I did, but it had been years.

    Davis came next, hugging me just as tightly. It was as if he thought that at any moment, I¡¯d be snatched away, and he was using all his strength to keep me here. He finally let go and helped me take off my coat, sweater, and other winter apparel.

    Did they really care for me that much?

    ¡°Hey, Diana!¡± Harry came from the dining room and pulled me into a hug without hesitation. I didn¡¯t expect myself to be so desperate for that kind of affection. Every hug made me want to burst into tears.

    Of course, I held them back. I didn¡¯t want to ruin the reunion so early.

    Tommy then came, lifting me up in the air as he embraced me. I let out a squeal of surprise. The two older brothers greeted me next. The warmth and love surrounding me was overwhelming. This wasn¡¯t what I expected.

    After Mr. Brian left, we all went to the dining room, which had a special dinner laid out on the table; turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, red berry pie, cornbread¡­ literally Thanksgiving all over again.

    We had a hearty meal. None of the family members brought up what happened. They instead asked me about stuff I wanted to do. They wanted to plan a family outing, even during the week. Apparently, this was something they used to do when Amy was around¡ª they were called ¡®Field Days¡¯. On the nose, but cute.

    They all seemed unusually excited as the dinner went on, which worried me a bit. Were they faking, or were they actually this excited? It was weird.

    My answer came at the end of dinner, when a car pulled into the driveway and someone knocked on the door. Susan answered, revealing Mr. Brian again. I stopped gathering my dishes, watching curiously.

    ¡°Hey, Diana, just came back to deliver something¡­¡±

    I put the dishes down and went to the foyer, followed by the others, who also left their dishes behind. I stopped short when I saw a big golden retriever trailing behind Mr. Brian on a leash. My jaw dropped open as I stared at the dog, who looked up at me with its tongue hanging out.

    ¡°Courtesy of Idaho Institute of Service Dogs.¡± Mr. Brian smiled at me.

    I smiled, a bit confused. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°This is your dog, Diana,¡± said Susan.

    I looked at her, still unable to comprehend. ¡°I-I don¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°This is something we should¡¯ve given you years ago. It was your foster brothers¡¯ idea.¡± Mr. Brian nodded at the dog. ¡°Go ahead, you can pet him.¡±

    The jacket had ¡®SERVICE DOG; DO NOT PET¡¯ printed on it in big, bold letters. I raised a brow. Susan laughed. ¡°You¡¯re his owner, Diana. You can pet him.¡±

    The dog wagged his long, golden tail, seeming to smile up at me with his big, brown eyes. I kept my hands close to my chest, apprehensive. He looked friendly, but¡­

    I smiled politely. ¡°I-I don¡¯t know¡­¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t bite,¡± Mr. Brian chuckled.

    ¡°You sure?¡± I giggled anxiously. I¡¯d only met a few dogs in the past, and none of them were that nice. Usually huge Rottweilers, fierce Pitbulls, or aggressive German Shepherds trained to hate me. I¡¯d never been bitten or anything, but they would bark and growl at me like an intruder, just like their owners.

    Susan took my hand gently, guiding it to the dog¡¯s head. My skin tingled at the soft feeling of his fur on my digits. The dog¡¯s tail wagged faster. His face¡­ he was so familiar. It was as if I¡¯d known him for years.

    ¡°This is for me? Like, really?¡±

    ¡°Yes, he¡¯s for you,¡± Mr. Brian said, giving Davis the leash. ¡°He¡¯ll help you whenever you feel¡­ any anxiety or panic. He¡¯s trained for that. You¡¯re going to have to take some classes for a week, and train with him so you can feel comfortable around each other. He should help.¡±

    ¡°And it was your idea?¡± I looked at the boys.

    ¡°It was Harry¡¯s idea,¡± Tommy said, pointing at the youngest.

    ¡°Not really,¡± Harry said modestly. ¡°Kyle helped a lot. Nicole¡¯s roommate works at an office, and he got the number from her, and we got¡­ the dog.¡± He motioned to the happy golden retriever who observed us as we spoke.

    I found myself choking up, gazing at the puppy¡­ he was so familiar. ¡°He¡¯s really mine?¡±

    Susan hugged me. ¡°From us to you.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s his name?¡± Jack asked Mr. Brian.

    ¡°At the shelter, his name was Bruno, but you can rename him. You just have to train using his new name.¡±

    I stared at him. I realized why I knew him so well¡­ he was just like¡­

    Lonnie.

    I suddenly heard crying behind me. I turned, and instead of the boys, I saw a little girl. Me. I was 10 now, in old, worn pants and an ugly sweater. I held Lonnie, my stuffed golden retriever, in my arms. The dog Mom gave me when I turned four.

    I slowly approached little me, crouching to her eye level. I never realized how tall I¡¯d grown over the past 6 years. ¡°Why are you crying?¡± I asked her.

    ¡°B-because he¡¯s gonna die,¡± 10-year old me responded. ¡°They¡¯re gonna take him.¡±

    ¡°No, he won¡¯t die. It¡¯s okay.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, he will! He will.¡± Her voice cracked as she cried more, tears drying on her face, irritating her pale skin.

    ¡°You can hide him. I¡¯ll help you,¡± I said.

    ¡°Hey, loser.¡± Behind her, two more people appeared, around my present age. I¡¯d forgotten about them, yet their cruel faces were clear. Their names; Joe and Nancy. Both foster kids like me, yet they hated me with a passion, and I never knew why.

    ¡°Hey, we wanted to play a game,¡± Nancy said, getting closer. ¡°You want to play?¡±

    Little me shook her head.

    ¡°Well, maybe your mutt wants to play.¡± She reached and grabbed Lonnie¡¯s leg, pulling him. The little girl held on to him. ¡°Hey! Let go!¡±

    ¡°Why do you even want this thing?¡± Joe said, glaring at the stained, worn-out toy in disgust.

    Diana¡­

    My heart quickened. I could still hear Lonnie¡¯s voice. I¡¯d forgotten I even heard it. I used to talk to him¡­ and he would always listen, his little tongue always sticking out. How could I forget him? How could I forget any of this?

    I¡¯m scared. Help me, please¡­

    ¡°Let him go! He¡¯s my friend!¡± I rushed forward and snatched Lonnie away from Nancy¡¯s arms. I expected her to fight back, but she disappeared along with Joe. I turned to my younger self and gave Lonnie back. Instead of a thankful smile, she stared at me with an outraged glare, betrayed.

    ¡°What did you do?! You killed him!¡± She showed Lonnie to me; instead of a golden retriever, she held a black mess of burnt fur and cotton. Lonnie¡¯s face was melted away. It was still smoking, some embers glowing from the burn barrel.

    ¡°You killed him!¡± Little me repeated. ¡°You just stood there! Why didn¡¯t you help?¡±

    ¡°But I¡­ I thought¡­¡±

    ¡°Mommy gave him to me!¡± she cried. ¡°And now he¡¯s gone!¡± She shoved me. I gasped, jumping back in fright. Instead of small hands on my thighs, there were paws. The service dog was hopping up on his hind legs, tapping me with his paws.

    ¡°Diana, can you hear me?¡± Susan faced me, holding my shoulders. I blinked, looking around at my foster family and Mr. Brian.

    ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡­ how long¡­?¡±

    ¡°You just stared for a while,¡± said Kyle. He was now next to me, supporting me.

    ¡°Did I pass out?¡±

    ¡°No, you were just standing there. Are you okay?¡± Tommy asked me.

    ¡°I think so.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll have a problem with Lonnie,¡± said Mr. Brian. ¡°Obviously, he can sense when you¡¯re having an episode already.¡±

    I nodded blankly, then looked at him. ¡°Wait- Lonnie? I thought his name was Bruno.¡±

    ¡°When we asked you what to call him, you said ¡®Lonnie¡¯,¡± Davis explained. ¡°Then when we asked how you came up with that, you blanked out.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I hadn¡¯t even heard them ask me that. The dog¡ª Lonnie¡ª looked up at me with the puppy smile, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. ¡°I¡­ it¡¯s because¡­ he reminds me of this stuffed dog I had when I was little,¡± I said truthfully. ¡°My mom gave him to me. But when I was 10, he got destroyed.¡± I unwittingly reached down, petting Lonnie¡¯s soft head¡­ he was just as soft as my plushie. ¡°He was a golden retriever toy.¡±

    ¡°Then Lonnie¡¯s the perfect name,¡± said Mr. Brian.

    Lonnie was back¡­ I couldn¡¯t believe it. After six years, I got my best friend back.

 28~ Amy

    My friends visited the next day, much to my relief. They seemed pretty happy I was back home, and they got to meet my new dog. Tony was a huge fan of Lonnie; he said he always wanted a dog, but since his parents and sister were all allergic, it wasn¡¯t possible. He was sad that he couldn¡¯t pet him, Lonnie being a service dog. His fingers were twitching the whole time.

    I also started training immediately. The training school wasn¡¯t far, so Susan and Davis drove me there after work. Tommy and Harry accompanied me so they could learn, too. Lonnie was a very quick learner.

    It was another routine to adjust to. I was back to online school, same schedule as before, except I didn¡¯t have that woman watching me all the time. Instead, my foster family would do routine checks in my room and there was a camera installed. Lonnie was also trained to sniff out anything harmful.

    Susan and Davis would alternate going to work so one of them could watch me; soon, they wouldn¡¯t be able to, so they were planning on inviting a family member over later on. I wasn¡¯t particularly looking forward to that meeting. Susan stayed home today and she would also be sleeping on an inflatable mattress in my room from now on.

    It felt pretty intrusive, but I kept reminding myself that it was better than Ms. Howells. At least my foster family showed kindness.

    I also had another medication to take. Besides my antidepressants, I had anti-anxiety medication. Instead of taking pills, now I had to mix the meds into my drink every morning. It gave the family more control over my meds and ensured I didn¡¯t have easy access to them. Although, I¡¯d learned my lesson; overdoses were no painless death. I wasn¡¯t willing to go through that again.

    After another day of online school, Davis staying home this time, and another class with Lonnie, the family took me out to lunch. We went to Rita¡¯s again, almost as if we were making up for the last time we went. It was a lot more fun without the ¡®Watcher¡¯ around, and with Lonnie sitting next to me, happy as can be.

    I was a bit surprised when, instead of heading home, we drove in a different direction. I looked at my foster parents questioningly from the backseat, where I sat with Tommy, Harry, and Lonnie. ¡°Where are we going?¡± I asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s a very special place for us. We figured you should see it,¡± Susan answered.

    A cemetery came past us on the right. When we turned into the entrance, I knew.

    It was a sunny day, but still very cold, snow covering the various gravestones across the field. My yellow winter boots crunched the white powder when I got out of the van. We walked along the paths until Susan and Davis turned into a section. I glanced at the various names on the stones, some with pictures, some with American flags, some with titles like ¡®Loving Mother and Sister¡¯, or ¡®Beloved Brother¡¯. I looked down at my shoes, watching my footprints carve into the snow, with smaller pawprints trailing next to them.

    ¡°I feel bad we didn¡¯t show this to you sooner,¡± Kyle commented as we walked.

    I shrugged. ¡°It really wasn¡¯t my business. It¡¯s your family. I shouldn¡¯t have butt in.¡±

    ¡°Well, with all you went through for it, we owe it to you. You¡¯re part of our family now. It¡¯s only fair.¡±

    I looked at him, not expecting his words. ¡°You mean that?¡±

    He smiled, tousling my hair and side-hugging me. I smiled at the gesture, resisting tears. I never expected any of them to say that.

    We finally stopped at the gravestone. I stayed a few feet away, a bit shy about approaching. This was their daughter¡¯s grave.

    ¡°You can come closer, Diana,¡± said Susan.

    Hesitantly, I did so. I crouched in front of the stone, prompting Lonnie to sit down.

    AMY GABRIELLE FIELD

    July 13th, 2007-May 6th, 2023

    LOVING DAUGHTER AND SISTER

    Our Treasure. Our Princess. Our Baby.

    Dotting the grave were small, purple flowers. Some were dead, probably unable to stand the cold, while others were still blooming, covered in frost. I reached out to one of them, picking it. It was a vinca minor periwinkle.

    ¡°She loved those flowers.¡± Jack crouched next to me, staring at the little flower in my fingers. ¡°When we were kids, she thought they were fairy houses.¡±

    ¡°Like the movie?¡± I chuckled.

    ¡°Yeah. She cried when we told her that wasn¡¯t real.¡±

    ¡°Why¡¯d you tell her that?¡±

    He shrugged. ¡°Being jerks.¡±

    I put the flower in my pocket and gazed at Amy¡¯s name on the gravestone. My eyes flickered to her birthday¡ª same as mine. How was that possible?

    ¡°Her favorite color was purple. What¡¯s yours?¡±

    ¡°Yellow. I like sunflowers. At the hospital, there were a few of those in the garden. Really pretty.¡± I sifted my fingers in the dirt over Amy¡¯s grave. Somehow, I felt my chest pulsing, as if I could feel her. It was a strange connection. It was as if I knew her all my life, and yet, I only saw her in pictures and heard of her in stories¡­ scarce ones, too.

    I looked at Susan and Davis, who were staring at a different gravestone next to us. Frowning, I stood, going to see who they were looking at.

    JULIA AURORA FIELD

    July 13th, 2007

    Our Sleeping Beauty.

    Julia? ¡°Who¡­?¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t tell you about her, did we?¡± Susan said.

    ¡°No¡­¡± I searched through my memory. I knew they had a stillborn baby. Amy¡¯s twin. ¡°This is¡­ your other daughter?¡±

    Davis answered with a nod.

    ¡°I told you about her, didn¡¯t I?¡± said Harry.

    Remembering, I nodded at him. ¡°That¡¯s right, you did. Amy lived¡­¡±

    It was a small gravestone, like a reminder of how her life was cut short. She never even got to see the light of day.

    Why couldn¡¯t that be me instead? My parents would¡¯ve died, anyway. The Fields would be happy with their two girls. I wouldn¡¯t have had to suffer all this.

    It all happened on the same day. July 13<sup>th</sup>. A cursed date.

    How? How did this happen on the same day? How could I look so much like¡­? It didn¡¯t make sense.

    Lonnie suddenly nudged my hand, standing on his hind legs and pawing my arm. Realizing my heart rate had increased, I sat in the snow and let Lonnie lie across my lap. ¡°You good, Diana?¡± Harry said, crouching next to me. He handed me the bag of treats we¡¯d brought.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine. I just got a little anxious.¡± I gave Lonnie a treat, petting him. ¡°Good boy. Thank you.¡±

    ¡°You want to go back to the car?¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine. It¡¯s nice out here. Cold, but nice.¡± I adjusted my scarf and continued petting Lonnie, letting his warmth seep through my gloves. After a while, we moved on to see other Field family graves. Susan¡¯s side of the family was buried somewhere else¡ª her maiden name was Dillon.

    My mind went to my parents. They were buried in my hometown¡ª I chuckled. It was Clearwater County¡­ because we had ¡®clear water¡¯. I never got to see their graves. They had a funeral, but Uncle Pat and Aunt Kim made me stay home.

    Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

    November 8<sup>th</sup>, 2011. Over 12 years ago. I¡¯d gotten to the point that I forgot their death anniversary. I didn¡¯t even remember what I did on November 8<sup>th</sup> last month. I was still with Ms. Howells, I think¡­ it was just before I¡¯d gone back to Summit High.

    I didn¡¯t even have a picture of them¡­ I couldn¡¯t remember their faces that well. I remembered Mom¡¯s eyes¡­

    I sighed, crouching again and hugging Lonnie. Tommy noticed and came up to me. ¡°You okay?¡±

    ¡°Just thinking about my parents. I feel like I know more about Amy than I do about them. I don¡¯t really remember them much.¡±

    ¡°Do you have anything to remember them by?¡±

    ¡°Not really.¡±

    ¡°Where are they buried?¡±

    ¡°Back in Pierce, where we lived.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Mom.¡± Tommy stood. ¡°You guys know how to get to Pierce?¡±

    ¡°Pierce?¡±

    ¡°Clearwater County.¡±

    Davis nodded. ¡°It¡¯s about an hour away.¡±

    I quickly stood. ¡°Oh, you guys don¡¯t have to¡­¡±

    ¡°What for?¡±

    ¡°Diana¡¯s parents are buried there,¡± Tommy explained.

    The two looked at each other. ¡°Yeah, sure, we can go,¡± said Davis.

    ¡°Do we have time?¡± Susan asked.

    ¡°Maybe not today, but some other time, we could drive up and visit. Do you know what cemetery it is?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s in my hometown, but I don¡¯t know exactly where.¡±

    ¡°It should be easy. I¡¯ll look it up.¡±

    I smiled at them. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    ~~~

    Friday morning, we got up bright and early to go to Snowcap Ski Lodge for the weekend. It was a 6-hour drive, so it was quite the road trip. I¡¯d never been on a road trip, so it was exciting. We passed by the Camas prairie, the White Bird battlefield, and lots of scenic views that boasted rivers, lakes, and mountains. We had to stop a couple more times to let Lonnie go to the bathroom¡­ and all of us, too, since we ate continuously.

    Payette Lake was one of my favorite stops, especially with the glistening ice and snow. We took plenty of pictures, so many that my cheeks hurt when we finally got back in the car. We also sang to songs on the radio and played games like ¡®I Spy¡¯ and ¡®Punch Buggy¡¯, the latter of which involved a lot of cheating, arguing, and scolding from my foster parents, but all with an aura of playfulness. It was a very joyous trip, which worried me¡ª whenever I was having too much of a good time, something would come to ruin it.

    So far, nothing bad happened, except some traffic here and there. After well over 7 hours of driving, I was getting anxious to get to the resort and crash on a bed. The drive back to the house wasn¡¯t something I looked forward to.

    When we arrived at the resort, it was a huge relief. My butt was aching. Lonnie hopped out of the van with me, probably just as desperate as I was. I stretched and yawned, adjusting my winter apparel that I¡¯d put on in a hurry.

    We were taken to the rooms we¡¯d reserved. Davis and Kyle took a two-bed room; Jack, Tommy and Harry shared a three-bed room; and Susan was staying with me and Lonnie in another two-bed room. Guilt hit me, realizing the sacrifices they were making for me. I always had to inconvenience someone, didn¡¯t I?

    It was around 2 in the afternoon when we got settled, so we went for lunch. Thick hamburgers, crisp French fries, creamy soups, and more delicious plates were served. I tried not to order too much, since I always regretted having a big meal afterwards, dealing with the stomachaches and indigestion. My appetite had increased since I moved in, but I still needed to be careful.

    Then, the moment we all waited for: the snow.

    Dressed in our warmest and prettiest winter clothing, we set out onto the mountain. Lonnie had a thick red coat on with his service dog labels on, though his fur kept him warm enough.

    Around us, people came waddling out with skis or carrying snowboards under their arms. Children squealed as they played in the snow, making forts and throwing snowballs at each other. There were a couple other dogs, too.

    ¡°Davis, you want to ski?¡± Susan asked. Her husband gave her a look, to which she replied, ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Do I look like I know how to ski?¡± he laughed.

    ¡°Come on, it¡¯ll be fun.¡± She tugged on his arm.

    ¡°Susan, I don¡¯t feel like crashing into a tree.¡±

    ¡°Okay, how about sledding?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s worse!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be such a wimp. We can try over there, on the smaller hill.¡± She pointed at a hill where a lot of children were sledding or snowboarding down the side.

    ¡°A wimp?¡± Davis raised his brows, approaching his wife. ¡°Who are you calling a wimp?¡±

    ¡°You. Who else?¡± Susan giggled.

    A challenging smirk crossed Davis¡¯s face. ¡°Okay. Alright. I¡¯ll race you.¡±

    ¡°Race me?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Small hill, sled, let¡¯s go. First one down wins.¡±

    ¡°Wins what?¡±

    Davis paused. ¡°Bragging rights.¡±

    Susan laughed, going to the hill. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s do it.¡±

    We watched as the couple grabbed some sleds and walked up to the safer hill. Kyle had a strange look in his eyes as he stared. He smirked, showing his dimples. ¡°It¡¯s been a while,¡± he commented.

    The other brothers murmured in agreement. I looked at them. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been a while since we saw or heard them do anything else besides work.¡±

    Realization struck. He was right. Unless they were checking up on us, Susan and Davis hardly talked about anything else but some account they were working on. I would hear them complaining about their company being short of employees, extra accounts added to their workload, gossiping co-workers and demanding quotas.

    ¡°What do they even do?¡± I asked.

    ¡°They¡¯re personal financial advisors,¡± Jack replied robotically.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± We walked towards the lodge to get snow stuff.

    ¡°I dunno. They tell people how to use their money, stuff like that.¡±

    ¡°They advise people on how to budget, save for expenses they want to make, all of that,¡± Kyle explained.

    ¡°There. That¡¯s a better definition.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re majoring in that, right, Kyle?¡± I asked.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m in a business major.¡±

    ¡°Ew.¡±

    ¡°Ew?¡±

    ¡°Boring,¡± I laughed as I grabbed a sled.

    ¡°To you. I¡¯m just smarter than you.¡±

    ¡°You wish,¡± Jack remarked.

    ¡°Hey, I got on the Dean¡¯s List both semesters in my freshman year,¡± Kyle boasted.

    ¡°So? Nicole¡¯s in the Honors program,¡± Jack shot back.

    We all laughed as Kyle blushed, embarrassed. ¡°I¡¯m comparing my intelligence to yours, not hers.¡±

    I started walking to where Susan and Davis were. Susan was already in position while Davis was trying to adjust himself. His wife was constantly teasing him. I readily took out my phone and recorded them as they slowly inched off the hill and sped down the slope, whooping. Susan reached down, propelling herself forward with her hand. ¡°That¡¯s cheating!¡± Davis shouted.

    I gasped, laughing as Davis¡¯s sled suddenly turned and he faceplanted into the snow. Susan stopped at the bottom and quickly ran up to him. He lifted his snow-covered face and threw a handful at his wife. This ensued a playful snowball fight that ended with them collapsing on the ground together, clutching their stomachs in laughter.

    Were my mom and dad like that? I didn¡¯t remember much. I remembered we were happy¡­ they must¡¯ve had great moments together. I realized I didn¡¯t know anything about their love story¡ª I didn¡¯t know how they met and fell in love.

    I remembered their anniversary; February 6<sup>th</sup>, 2007. They¡¯d gotten pregnant with me out of wedlock. Mom had shown me her wedding picture with just her and Dad. She was overweight, so my baby bump wasn¡¯t visible, it just added some weight to her. I¡¯d always wondered why she didn¡¯t have the huge and beautiful bridal dresses I¡¯d seen on TV.

    I remembered the rest of our family didn¡¯t contact us much. I never knew my grandparents, for one. The only family I knew were Aunt Kim and Uncle Pat, and my cousins, Patrick Jr, Lila, and Bernard. Who knew where they ended up after CPS separated us.

    ¡°Diana! You coming?¡±

    I turned, seeing Tommy and Harry on a sled, ready to slide down. Kyle and Jack were next to them.

    ¡°Um, I¡¯m going over there,¡± I said, pointing to the smaller hill.

    ¡°Nah, come on, let¡¯s try this one!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±

    ¡°You scared?¡± Tommy taunted.

    ¡°I¡¯m not scared, I¡¯m smart.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re scared!¡± Harry shouted.

    I pursed my lips and watched the others sledding and skiing down the taller hill. It looked pretty safe. The children weren¡¯t hurting themselves.

    Unwilling to swallow my pride, I went over to the boys and slapped my sled next to the younger two.

    ¡°Oh, no, you¡¯re on our team,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re riding with us. Come on. Us against Kyle and Jack.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think-¡±

    Kyle made a chicken noise.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s real mature,¡± I said.

    Both older brothers started making chicken noises, which annoyed me to death. ¡°I don¡¯t trust these guys!¡± I said over the noises.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Harry exclaimed, offended.

    After a few more moments of clucking, I finally caved. ¡°Alright, I¡¯m on their team!¡± I grumpily sat behind Harry and put my arms around his waist.

    ¡°This is a bad idea,¡± said Tommy. ¡°We¡¯ve got more weight.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s a feather,¡± Jack said.

    ¡°Hey!¡± I exclaimed, throwing snow at him.

    ¡°I don¡¯t mean it that way!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll be fine,¡± said Harry. ¡°Kyle¡¯s weight alone is two people.¡±

    It was now Kyle¡¯s turn to say, ¡°Hey!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re always saying, ¡®It¡¯s all muscle¡¯,¡± Harry imitated him. ¡°It¡¯s obvious it¡¯s fat.¡±

    ¡°You wanna test it out? I¡¯ll pin you down, see how much muscle I have.¡±

    ¡°Come on, y¡¯all, I gotta go to the bathroom,¡± Jack whined.

    ¡°Wait, what about Lonnie?¡± I looked at my dog, who obediently sat behind us, tongue hanging out, like always.

    ¡°Kyle and Jack can take him, that way we¡¯re even,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°That¡¯s not fair. Kyle¡¯s heavy enough,¡± said Jack.

    Kyle raised his fist. ¡°Stop.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯ll be fine. Just take him.¡±

    Jack sighed and took Lonnie gently, positioning him on his lap.

    ¡°Okay. One¡­ two¡­ three!¡±

    We kicked off the hill. I gasped as my stomach shot up to my throat. We screamed and hollered, sliding at full speed down the hill. I held on tight to Harry¡¯s waist. Ice-cold air hammered at my face. I ducked, shielding myself behind the youngest brother.

    Our sled started turning left and right, wobbling unsteadily. Kyle and Jack were still ahead. Tommy reached down and tried to propel us forward. The ride started getting bumpy.

    ¡°TOMMYYYY!¡± Our sled flipped over and we plunged into the snow. I could hear the older brothers whoop in victory, then laugh out loud at our misery. Lifting my face from the snow, I saw Kyle already recording us on his phone while Jack died of laughter behind him.

    ¡°Hey, Santa Claus,¡± Kyle remarked. I deadpanned at him and wiped all the snow off my face. Lonnie rushed up to me and licked the rest of the icy powder off my face.

    ¡°You cheated!¡± Tommy shouted.

    ¡°Us? You were trying to push your sled!¡± said Jack.

    ¡°I told you she was extra weight,¡± Tommy told Harry.

    ¡°So? Lonnie was on their sled, and then there¡¯s Kyle.¡±

    In response, Kyle threw a snowball at Harry, hitting him in the face. He gasped as Harry fell on his butt. Jack burst out laughing.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry! I didn¡¯t mean to hit your-¡± He snickered. ¡°Sorry.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you did!¡± Harry threw a snowball back at him. It instead hit Jack.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Jack threw a handful of snow in retaliation, hitting me in the face instead of Harry.

    We all knew what this meant.

    All hell broke loose as we pummeled each other with snow. Lonnie ran around, barking playfully. At times, he would protectively stand in front of me, making sure I didn¡¯t fall over. Laughter and aching cheeks were everywhere, snow flying and butts landing. Along the way, Susan and Davis came down to see us, recording the fight on their phones.

    When we were too tired, we stopped, sprawling out on the snow in laughter. My stomach and face hurt, not to mention my skin was freezing, but I never felt happier. Nothing could dare ruin this moment.

    At least, I hoped nothing would.

 29~ Shutout

    Tommy

    December 17<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    Coming back from our weekend trip, I had to face my problems again. I wished our getaway could¡¯ve lasted longer. It was evening already, and while I wanted to rest after such a long trip home, I couldn¡¯t delay this further.

    Shirley finally agreed to meet me at our usual restaurant for a talk. It had almost been a month since I told her we ¡®needed to talk¡¯, and she¡¯d avoided me as much as possible. At school, in the neighborhood, everywhere. It felt weird not having her text me every second, wondering where I was, or who I was with. It was pretty liberating, to say the least.

    I checked my phone. 6:40. She was ten minutes late. I sighed impatiently. I should¡¯ve known she wouldn¡¯t come. I should¡¯ve broken up with her over text.

    I bit into my hamburger. I couldn¡¯t remember the last time I really enjoyed a hamburger. Shirley always soured my meal with her diet speeches. Just as I debated whether to leave, rapid footsteps approached me, stopping at my table.

    Shirley panted, slumping in her seat. ¡°You won¡¯t believe what just happened to me!¡± She eyed the hamburger I was eating, glancing at the empty space in her place. ¡°You didn¡¯t order anything for me?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer, taking another bite.

    ¡°Ugh. Whatever.¡± She waved her hand for a waiter and ordered a chicken sandwich with a large iced tea. She shivered and rubbed her mittened hands together when he left. ¡°Why did you get a table outside? It¡¯s freezing out here.¡±

    I still didn¡¯t respond.

    She scoffed. ¡°Okay. You want to talk about¡­ us, right? This better be worth it. ¡®We need to talk¡¯? Overused much?¡±

    I sighed and put down my burger, wiping my mouth with my napkin.

    ¡°Oh-my-God, I told you millions of times, Tommy. That kind of burger isn¡¯t good for you. You¡¯re better off with chicken, like me. If you don¡¯t want a huge potbelly jiggling when you¡¯re playing-¡±

    ¡°All right. Let¡¯s talk,¡± I cut her off.

    ¡°Fine. Let¡¯s talk.¡± She leaned forward. ¡°I¡¯m guessing I did something wrong? I don¡¯t remember anything, but go ahead and give me your POV.¡±

    ¡°Let me refresh your memory, then. You talked trash about Diana after what they did to her in the locker room, and you actually agreed to literal torture.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t agree with anything.¡±

    ¡°You said, and I quote, ¡®that¡¯s what she gets¡¯. Just¡­ why?¡± I said.

    ¡°Why? She wandered in there.¡±

    ¡°Uh, no, she didn¡¯t. They dragged her in there. By force.¡±

    ¡°Doreen told me she went into-¡±

    ¡°Doreen? You¡¯re going to believe a hack like Doreen?¡±

    Shirley scoffed. ¡°Don¡¯t insult my friends like that.¡±

    ¡°If she¡¯s the type to torture a girl she doesn¡¯t even know for no reason, then I¡¯ll insult her all I want.¡±

    ¡°Okay- fine.¡± She smacked her hand on the table. ¡°I said it was mean! I admitted it, okay?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, then you were all, ¡®she wanted to come back to school, so she deserved it¡¯.¡±

    ¡°I never said she deserved it. I just thought it was stupid that she came back to school knowing how much everyone hated her. And then she tried to kill herself. Like, duh. People weren¡¯t gonna want her back. Lucas was just kidding, anyway.¡±

    ¡°You see? You¡¯re giving more and more reasons for me to end it,¡± I pointed out.

    ¡°Oh, what? Telling you the obvious?¡±

    ¡°¡®Lucas was just kidding¡¯? What kind of mentality is that?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t play innocent, Tommy,¡± she retorted. ¡°Just last year, you guys were throwing all your new teammates in the hallway, in their underwear. And you and your brothers always did messed-up stuff to Amy. Don¡¯t try to play the saint now.¡±

    A long stretch of silence played out between us. I couldn¡¯t refute her words. With the team, I¡¯d always join the guys in hazing the new ones. I was scared that they¡¯d do the same to me, or Harry, if I didn¡¯t agree.

    But with Amy¡­ she was right. We would always play pranks or call her names, thinking we were joking, but we were hurting her, picking at her self-esteem bit-by-bit. She would cry and outright tell us we were bullying her, but we would laugh it off and call her a crybaby. We were making her life hell. That was why she ran away.

    That was why God took her from us.

    ¡°Hypocrite much?¡± Shirley said, sipping her iced tea.

    Her words brought me back to reality, making my temper flare. ¡°You don¡¯t know Diana. You don¡¯t know what she¡¯s been through. And if you still think something like that is funny, then you¡¯ve got a screw loose.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just saying Lucas made it sound funny. When I watched the video, I realized it wasn¡¯t,¡± she reasoned.

    ¡°Why the heck were you talking to Lucas?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re friends.¡±

    ¡°Since when?¡±

    ¡°Who cares? You¡¯re his friend.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I said sharply, ¡°I¡¯m not. You know I don¡¯t like him. We¡¯re just on the same team.¡±

    ¡°What do you care about the team? You¡¯re not going to college.¡±

    ¡°The point is, I don¡¯t like that you¡¯re talking to him.¡±

    ¡°Oh, says the guy that has a bunch of side chicks he¡¯s hiding from me?¡±

    Unexpectedly, I burst out laughing. Her jealousy had reached delusional status. I was guilty of looking at those links, but I¡¯d actually worked on stopping the habit. This girl was talking to my worst enemy behind my back.

    ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡± she snapped.

    ¡°Nothing. I¡¯m just going to end it here. This is pointless.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Go to your side chicks.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have any side chicks,¡± I said sharply. ¡°Never did, never will. I¡¯m sorry about the links, but I¡¯ve been working on improving myself. Not that you¡¯d do the same.¡±

    ¡°If there¡¯s one thing I¡¯ll thank that foster freak for, it¡¯s that prank she pulled. Who knows how long you would¡¯ve gone on without telling me the truth?¡± She held her iced tea in her hand, gesturing with it before taking another sip.

    ¡°Will you stop calling her stuff like that?!¡± My voice started rising, and I noticed some other people looking our way.

    ¡°Stuff like what?¡±

    ¡°That! ¡®Foster freak¡¯, ¡®ghost girl¡¯- that¡¯s enough! Why do you hate her so much?¡±

    ¡°You hated her, too.¡± She ate her sandwich.

    ¡°We didn¡¯t hate her.¡±

    ¡°So now she¡¯s your sister? You¡¯re letting her replace Amy?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not replacing anyone. She¡¯s Diana. Amy is Amy. And Diana needs a home. She¡­¡± I choked on a sob, my emotions spilling out. ¡°She doesn¡¯t deserve¡­ to think the way she does. Always blaming herself for everything. She thought she was making our lives better by killing herself. Do you realize how that made us feel? None of this¡­ she didn¡¯t ask for any of this.¡±

    Shirley¡¯s face crossed with a tinge of sympathy, but it wasn¡¯t enough to change my mind about cutting her out. I should¡¯ve listened to Amy. I should¡¯ve listened to my family. I should¡¯ve realized that she was draining me. Why didn¡¯t I listen to something so obvious?!

    She gave me one taste, and I was hooked. She baited me, convincing me she was the only way to what I wanted, that she¡¯d give me another taste again¡­ someday. She never did.

    ¡°Tommy.¡± She took my hand. ¡°Listen. I get it. You¡¯re a great person, you care about other people¡­ the problem is, people like you get screwed over a lot. I know girls like Diana. They¡¯re really sneaky. They make you feel like this just so they can get attention. I know the type, well. I¡¯ve had experience. It¡¯s not worth it.¡±

    I stared at her. She was set in that mentality. Nothing would change it. That ignorance wouldn¡¯t go away, no matter how clear the reality was to her. Her past would always cloud her present.

    ¡°You don¡¯t get it,¡± I realized. I sighed, looking at my unfinished hamburger I no longer wanted to eat. ¡°I hope you have a good life, Shirley.¡± I moved to stand.

    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    She quickly stood, stopping me. ¡°Wait. Just wait.¡± Her jaw trembled. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if you don¡¯t want to accept it, okay? I¡¯m just trying to help. I¡¯m being supportive-¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not supportive. I need someone who is.¡±

    ¡°When have I not been supportive?!¡± she challenged.

    ¡°With Amy. Whenever I needed to talk to you, you were ¡®busy¡¯. Then I would see you posting memes on Familiar. And whenever you wanted to talk, I needed to drop everything and answer you, no matter what I was doing. It¡¯s always been like that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not finished. With Diana, you just trashed her from the very beginning. Some things you said didn¡¯t even have to do with her. But they had to do with Amy.¡±

    ¡°You trashed Diana, too!¡± she protested.

    ¡°No, we were just bothered because of her and Amy. You started talking about how ugly she was, or how weird. She looks just like Amy, remember?¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t look exactly like Amy.¡±

    ¡°Look, you¡¯ve already heard me out, and now you know why I want to break up with you.¡±

    ¡°If I was so horrible, why didn¡¯t you break up with me sooner, then?¡± she snapped. ¡°Was it because of that one night together?¡±

    I hesitated. ¡°Partly, yeah,¡± I admitted.

    ¡°Partly? What does that mean?¡± She scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re just a typical man, aren¡¯t you? That¡¯s all you want.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not it.¡±

    ¡°Then what?¡±

    I stared at her, thinking hard about my answer. She raised her blond brows at me.

    ¡°Because I kept looking at the good side of you,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re smart, beautiful, witty, strong. You stand up for yourself when you have to. I wanted to give that a chance. It wasn¡¯t just because of that night. I don¡¯t want you to think I only wanted to sleep with you and nothing else.¡±

    Her blue eyes filled with tears. The sight broke my heart, but I had to do this.

    ¡°And¡­ I¡¯m sorry for hurting you. I¡¯m sorry for all of this. It¡¯s been a difficult time for me and my family.¡± I took out my wallet, sifting through the dollar bills. ¡°It¡¯s better for both of us if we go our separate ways.¡± I left a 20-dollar bill.

    ¡°No, wait.¡± She put her hand on my shoulder. ¡°Please¡­ Tommy, I¡¯m sorry, okay? I¡¯m sorry I did¡­ all that. I¡¯ll change, I promise.¡±

    ¡°I know you will.¡±

    ¡°Please, give me another chance.¡± Her voice cracked.

    I swallowed down my own lump of tears. ¡°I¡¯ve run out, Shirley. I¡¯m sorry. I hope you find someone else that makes you happy.¡± Reluctantly, I left her.

    ¡°Tommy, please. Tommy!¡± I heard her following me, but I didn¡¯t look back. I took out my phone and texted Kyle and Nicole, who were waiting for me to finish.

    A napkin hit my back, followed by another. ¡°I¡¯m talking to you!¡±

    I sighed and looked at Shirley, whose face was now tear-stained, mascara dripping down her cheeks. ¡°Look, let¡¯s talk about this. I¡¯ll stop trash-talking Diana, I¡¯m sorry about that,¡± she begged.

    My phone pinged. Well b right over.

    ¡°Please, give me another chance! I promise I won¡¯t talk to Lucas anymore! I swear, he¡¯s just¡­ he¡¯s nothing!¡± She grabbed my arm, hugging my side and pressing her head on my shoulder.

    ¡°Shirley, please, stop¡±. I gently pried her off. ¡°Don¡¯t embarrass yourself like this, please. And don¡¯t think this doesn¡¯t hurt me, too.¡± My phone buzzed. Coming around the corner. I looked down the street and saw Nicole¡¯s car down the road. ¡°Goodbye, Shirley.¡± I kissed her cheek.

    Her shoulders sank. She watched hopelessly as I got in the car with my brother and Nicole. I sat in the back seat and watched her figure get farther and farther through the window until she disappeared.

    I let out a shaky sigh as tears pricked my eyes. This hurt a lot more than I expected. I thought the anger would cushion the blow, but my heart was softer than I thought.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Nicole glanced through the rearview mirror at me with concern.

    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m fine.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Tom,¡± said Kyle.

    ¡°No, it was a long time coming.¡± A pause. I rubbed my forehead. ¡°You think she¡¯ll¡­ do something crazy at school tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°I doubt it. But if she does, you¡¯ve got us. Don¡¯t worry.¡±

    I nodded and leaned into my seat. I felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. Like I was set free after being locked up in chains for the longest time. Amy would¡¯ve been proud of me, I hoped.

    ¡°I wish I could¡¯ve broken it off sooner.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a toxic relationship, Tommy. It¡¯s like being stuck in quicksand,¡± said Nicole, glancing back at me. ¡°We¡¯ve all had people like that in our lives.¡±

    I smiled, but it wasn¡¯t genuine. ¡°I wasn¡¯t that good to her, though. I shouldn¡¯t have been looking at that stuff. I¡¯ve stopped so far, but¡­ I get really tempted.¡±

    They glanced at each other. ¡°Well, you cut her out of your life. That¡¯s a start. Now cut out the rest of the poison,¡± said Kyle.

    ¡°I try. I do, it¡¯s just¡­ so hard.¡± I looked out the window.

    He turned in his seat to look at me. ¡°Tom. You like music, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I love it.¡±

    He nodded. ¡°Focus on that. You haven¡¯t played or sung in months. It¡¯ll help you. You¡¯ll get past it, I know it.¡± He reached towards me, stretching his hand out.

    I smiled and fist-bumped him. Music. That was a good alternative. Just like old times.

    ~~~

    Jack

    Winter break was here, but instead of relaxing, I had homework to do. I wished we¡¯d done our ¡®Snow Day¡¯ this week, but it was more expensive, so I had to take a couple days off school.

    Thankfully, it wasn¡¯t too much, considering the first semester was practically over. I just needed to hand in my final project online and do my final test for two courses, which were due this week, so I wasn¡¯t behind. The only make-up work I had was listening to the lectures I missed¡ª which my friend recorded for me¡ª and writing down info that could be on the exams.

    Afterwards, Kyle helped me study by asking me questions. I was confident about my Math and CPR courses, being pretty easy for me. My Human Development course was a bit more difficult, but interesting. My Nutrition course was the hardest. It was hard for me to memorize a lot of the facts and statistics.

    ¡°Approximately how much sodium does the average American consume every day?¡± Kyle read from his computer, crunching a potato chip between his teeth.

    I took a few moments to think. ¡°2,000 milligrams.¡±

    Kyle opened the answer. ¡°On average, 3,400 milligrams of sodium.¡±

    I groaned. ¡°I was close.¡±

    ¡°1,400 off? That ain¡¯t close.¡±

    ¡°Shut up. Next question.¡±

    ¡°What vitamin do pregnant women need to decrease the incidence of neurological disorders?¡±

    ¡°Folic acid,¡± I answered instantly.

    ¡°Good job.¡± He tossed me a potato chip, which I caught in my mouth, laughing.

    ¡°What, you giving me treats?¡± I said.

    Kyle took another chip and held it above me. ¡°Who¡¯s a good boy? Who got the question right? You want a chip? Huh?¡±

    I smacked his hand. ¡°Stop that. I¡¯m not Lonnie.¡± My phone buzzed. Out of habit, I checked it.

    Imtotallysamueljackson (Sam Reynolds): yo jack

    ¡°Hey. Focus.¡±

    ¡°Sorry.¡± I put my phone away, feeling it vibrate in my pocket.

    ¡°AED pads can be used for children at what age?¡±

    I paused. ¡°Puberty.¡±

    ¡°Correct.¡± Kyle took another chip. ¡°Good boy!¡±

    ¡°Shut up.¡± I kicked him in the stomach¡ª not too hard, but hard enough. He groaned as I snatched the chip from his fingers and ate it.

    ¡°Kyle! Could you come over here, please?¡± Mom called.

    ¡°Coming!¡± He stood. ¡°Be right back.¡±

    When he left, I quickly took my phone out.

    Imtotallysamueljackson: guess what

    Sigma taus having a party

    And we can bring gests

    U wanna come?

    Sigma Tau¡¯s mention made my heart flutter. It was like having a crush, except it was an entire group of frat guys. Sam had rushed this semester and gotten a bid, and now he lived in the house. I hoped I could get in next semester.

    jackomattern: when is it

    Imtotallysamueljackson: weds night @8pm

    its a mixer w theta zeta tau

    hoottt girls (multiple fire emojis)

    jackomattern: bruh

    Imtotallysamueljackson: what? girls r the best part

    jackomattern: (rolling eyes emoji)

    Imtotallysamueljackson: pruuude

    so u coming? u can b my gest

    jackomattern: yea sure

    should I bring anything?

    Imtotallysamueljackson: Nah

    Make a good impreshon that way they like u when u rush nxt sem

    jackomattern: great thx

    can I bring anyone

    like Amelia

    Imtotallysamueljackson: sry only 1 gest per member

    jackomattern: eh its fine

    Imtotallysamueljackson: u want me to pick u up?

    jackomattern: Yea

    ur gonna have to play along tho, my parents wont like me going to a party

    Imtotallysamueljackson: I thought ur dad was in a frat

    jackomattern: Yea but he regrets it

    Imtotallysamueljackson: bruhhh

    what r u gonna tell them?

    jackomattern: that im going to ur place easy

    Imtotallysamueljackson: Oh yea

    ok see u weds

    jackomattern: yea see u

    Excitement coiled in my stomach. I tried getting back to reviewing for my test, but I was too excited to fully focus. My first frat party.

    I already knew a few guys in the frat, thanks to the events I attended. Asher and Howard were two, and Sam, of course. I met Oliver and Tyler, the latter being the recruitment chairman.

    I wasn¡¯t dumb enough to focus on one, obviously, so I¡¯d made lots of friends in other frats. Eddie joined Iota Theta Delta, for one, so he introduced me to a few of his brothers from his pledge class.

    The reason I preferred STR so much was because their philanthropy donated to funds for cancer patients. After my experience with Amy, and knowing Monica, it was the most personal connection I had. The second choice was Sigma Eta Omega; they donated to mental health organizations.

    Once recruitment started, I¡¯d meet all 10 chapters of Greenfield and hopefully get a bid to one of them. I just had to be cool and not look like a desperate fanboy.

    Tommy walked past my room, stopping and peeking in. ¡°Hey.¡±

    ¡°Hey, what¡¯s up?¡±

    ¡°I, uh¡­¡± Tommy came inside, seeming sheepish. ¡°I wanted to talk to you.¡±

    ¡°Sure, what about?¡± I turned away from my computer.

    Tommy sat in Kyle¡¯s chair, kneading his hands together. After a few moments, he spoke. ¡°I just wanted to say sorry.¡±

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°You were right¡­ about Shirley.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ yeah, you broke up with her yesterday, right?¡±

    He nodded. ¡°It was hard.¡±

    ¡°You okay?¡±

    ¡°I will be¡­ I do feel a lot more¡­ free. I just wanted to tell you that you were right and I¡¯m sorry for getting mad, and denying something so obvious.¡±

    I reached over, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t sweat it, Tom. I get it. You¡¯re out now.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m out,¡± he sighed. ¡°And I didn¡¯t just break up with Shirley.¡± I frowned, confused. He answered with: ¡°I quit football.¡±

    I blinked, my jaw dropping. ¡°You what?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I¡­ while I was talking with Shirley, I realized how much of a jerk I became because of the team. You remember the stuff Lucas and everyone would do to the new guys, and we would play along?¡±

    I nodded, guilt pinching my stomach. I still regretted it to this day.

    ¡°I realized¡­ it wasn¡¯t worth it,¡± Tommy continued. He took a chip from the bowl Kyle left behind. ¡°I¡¯m not going to college, and Harry¡¯s smart enough to make it without me, or the team.¡±

    ¡°Did he quit, too?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. We emailed Coach.¡±

    ¡°What did he say?¡±

    ¡°He hasn¡¯t answered.¡± He took another chip.

    I smiled at him. ¡°I¡¯m proud of you, Tom.¡±

    ¡°It was a big step. I mean¡­ it was getting awkward, going to practice with Lucas¡¯s friends there after we¡­ you know.¡±

    ¡°Beat the jerk out of him?¡±

    We laughed.

    ¡°He got expelled, but¡­ all the other guys are still there,¡± he groaned. ¡°I just don¡¯t want to be around them anymore.¡±

    ¡°I get you.¡± I stretched. ¡°Really hope Flynn doesn¡¯t go to Greenfield.¡±

    ¡°The guy has no mental capacity for college.¡±

    We laughed again. Kyle returned and approached Tommy. ¡°Out of my seat, shrimp.¡±

    ¡°You left, so I took it,¡± Tommy retorted.

    Kyle gave him the ¡®big brother¡¯ look, but we could tell he was joking, so neither of us were frightened. In the end, he sighed and grabbed Tommy¡¯s shirt, practically throwing him out of the chair.

    ¡°Rude,¡± Tommy huffed.

    ¡°Me? You were in my seat.¡±

    ¡°You know he quit football?¡± I told Kyle.

    ¡°Yeah, Harry told me. About time. Did they expel Flynn?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but just him. The other guys that did the same things are still there.¡±

    ¡°Why? They¡¯re just as bad as he is.¡±

    ¡°The principal is a bit¡­¡± Tommy tapped two fingers against his head.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Stupid. Harry taught me the sign.¡± He headed to the door. ¡°I¡¯ll see you.¡±

    ¡°Back to work,¡± Kyle said, turning to the computer. I briefly went on my phone to add the party to my calendar.

    Wednesday, December 20- STR party 8:30

    ¡°Back to work, Jack. Off the phone.¡± Kyle threw a potato chip at my head.

    ¡°Sorry.¡± I put my phone away, hiding my excitement. I couldn¡¯t wait for Wednesday.

 30~ Itéˆ¥æªš Going Down

    Diana

    12.20.23

    Dear Diary, I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with me. My foster family¡¯s been trying everything to make me feel happy, and I¡¯ve put that all to waste. I always feel so miserable even though people are really trying.

    Thelma came over yesterday, Mildred and I talked all night the other day, the others are always checking up on me, especially Tony. I had a wonderful weekend with the Fields at the resort. I¡¯m in online school now. I blocked everyone from Summit High except for my friends and foster family. My God, I have the best service dog I could ask for!

    And yet¡­ I¡¯m as miserable as can be.

    While things have improved lately, I feel so weird. Kind of bored with life. Everything seems monotonous, despite the attempts to spice up the routine. I want to do something, and I don¡¯t know what.

    Lonnie leaned his head on my lap, sitting beside me. I petted him absentmindedly as I thought about what to write next. Even writing in my diary was starting to feel like a task.

    How could they stand me? No matter what they did, I couldn¡¯t be completely happy. Maybe people at school were right. I was making myself miserable. No wonder Ms. Bredlong never believed me.

    ¡°Bro, it¡¯s literally 8:30. When are you getting over here?¡± I heard Jack saying from his room. Curious, I listened in. ¡°Okay, but hurry. If you come too late, they might know.¡±

    I frowned, going to the door. Lonnie followed close behind.

    ¡°They¡¯re in their room working right now. They¡¯re behind.¡± A pause. ¡°Still. They¡¯re paying more attention to us now.¡± He then laughed. ¡°I know, right?¡± After another pause, he said, ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll be waiting.¡±

    What was he talking about? Was he going somewhere? I went to his room. Kyle was down with the other two playing PS5, so it was weird that Jack hadn¡¯t joined them.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± I asked.

    Startled, Jack gasped, turning. He chuckled. ¡°Geez, Di, don¡¯t scare me like that.¡±

    ¡°What are you so on edge about?¡± I scrunched my nose at the smell of their room. ¡°It smells like cat ¡®pee¡¯ in here.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not on edge. I¡¯m just annoyed. Sam was supposed to pick me up an hour ago.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going somewhere?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m going to his place. You remember Sam, right?¡±

    ¡°So late?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re going to watch a movie.¡±

    I studied Jack¡¯s body language. He sat at his desk, turning in his revolving chair. His fingers restlessly tapped on the surface.

    ¡°Okay. Have fun.¡± I left him, going to Susan and Davis¡¯s room. Jack suddenly rushed out, looking at me with wide eyes.

    ¡°What?¡± I said.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    Confused, I glanced at the door. ¡°Talking to your parents? I needed something.¡±

    He relaxed a bit. ¡°Okay.¡± He went back inside his room.

    A smile slunk across my face. I was right. He was doing something he wasn¡¯t supposed to.

    How interesting.

    I returned to my room. If I stayed out of my room for too long, they would have to check on me.

    It was a lucky night, even so. The other guys would be playing PS5 late, now that everyone was on break. Susan and Davis were trying to clear as much work as possible to make time for Christmas shopping and decorating. They¡¯d be up so late, Susan would probably sleep in her own room tonight instead of my room.

    I felt like an evil supervillain. A smirk was wide on my face as I petted Lonnie. Whatever Jack was doing, it wasn¡¯t watching a movie. What kind of bribe could I get out of this? He could do my chores for a week¡­ or buy me something I wanted. Nah. There wasn¡¯t much I liked. Chores were the best thing for me.

    Around 9:30, Kyle had returned to his room. I heard Jack say ¡°See you¡± to him as he went to the stairs. Looking up from my laptop, I saw Jack glance at his parents¡¯ door when he passed it. He hadn¡¯t noticed I was still awake.

    ¡°Sleepy time,¡± I whispered to Lonnie. I had to repeat myself a few times, since it was a fairly new trick, but he soon understood and went to the bed we¡¯d bought for him in the corner. I fed him a treat and tiptoed out of my room. ¡®Sleepy time¡¯ was so he could leave my side if I needed him to.

    I silently texted Susan that I was in the den, and that Lonnie was tired and needed rest. She and Davis were way too busy, so she would likely buy it and not question it for the rest of the night. We were allowed to be up until midnight just for tonight and tomorrow.

    I breathed as quietly as possible as I descended the stairs. With all my years of experience, I could easily sneak around a house without anyone suspecting a thing. Below, the front door was open, but there was no sign of Jack. I rushed up to the door, seeing him talking with who I recognized as Sam. They had the trunk open, discussing something. Jack nodded and started back towards the house. I quickly hid myself in the living room.

    He went into the kitchen, followed by Sam. ¡°You sure your parents won¡¯t notice?¡± he whispered.

    ¡°Dude, they don¡¯t even know it exists. It¡¯s Kyle¡¯s stash,¡± Jack said.

    ¡°Kyle¡¯s? He¡¯ll kill us.¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t drink as much as he used to. It¡¯s fine. They¡¯ve been sitting there forever. Might as well use them.¡±

    Before they could come back, I grabbed my coat from the coat rack and bolted to Sam¡¯s car; a red sedan. The chilly air bit at my skin, since I was only wearing a long-sleeved, yellow thermal shirt and jeans. Sam¡¯s driver¡¯s seat was open, so I slid inside and climbed over the seats so I was hiding in the backseat. I covered myself with my coat, lying on the floor.

    If I were Amy, I wouldn¡¯t have dared to do this. But I was Diana, and I was bored. I wasn¡¯t sure what made me want to sneak away to whatever my foster brother was doing, but I had such an urge.

    I wondered if Amy ever did something like this. Did she ever stow away with her brothers?

    I heard the two men approach, their voices coming through the open driver¡¯s door. They grunted as they loaded two things in the trunk. From the clinking I heard, I assumed they were beer cases. The trunk closed. Sam then got in the driver¡¯s seat and Jack in the passenger¡¯s. Neither of them noticed I was there. The light turned off.

    My heart sped up when the car started up. I took a deep breath as I felt us drive down the street.

    This was the stupidest idea I ever had. Why did I do this?

    ¡°So, your first party,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t my first party.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°No, remember, I went to Barry¡¯s prom party.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah. But that¡¯s it, right?¡±

    ¡°York¡¯s 18<sup>th</sup>? Sam, I¡¯ve been to a party before.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hard to believe. You¡¯re a prude,¡± Sam snickered.

    ¡°Shut up.¡±

    My muscles tightened and I had the intense desire to stretch my legs. The position I was in wasn¡¯t the most comfortable. I was starting to regret my decision. I should¡¯ve just eavesdropped and gone back to my room. I would¡¯ve still had a bargaining chip.

    Surprisingly, I found myself closing my eyes, falling asleep. I didn¡¯t realize how tired I was.

    I woke when I felt the car stop.

    I didn¡¯t know how long it had been. The doors opened and closed. I didn¡¯t hear anything but the distant, muffled booming of music. I carefully took my coat off me, taking a deep breath of the fresh air and looking around. There was light coming through the windows.

    The trunk opened, frightening me, and I hid myself again. After some noise, the trunk closed. After a few moments, I looked out the back window to see where we were.

    It was a huge house, like a mansion, with lights flashing through the windows. It even had a fountain out front illuminated in different colors, and there were people hanging around outside.

    Dang, whose place was this? They were rich.

    It was when I saw the big Greek letters above the large front doors that I knew.

    This was a fraternity house. I stowed away to a frat party.

    I wanted to slap myself¡ª I did. A few times. What was I thinking?! I was okay with any normal party, but a frat party? That was something else.

    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    Was Jack even in a frat? What was he doing here? Was Sam in one?

    I blew out my cheeks. I was already here. I couldn¡¯t back out now. I had no way home, so my only choice was to wait until the party was over and Jack could go home.

    Putting on my coat, I unlocked the back door. I re-locked it when I got out and closed the door. Mustering up my courage, I marched towards the house with my shoulders back and my head held high. But while I was outwardly confident and calm, inwardly, I kept thinking:

    You are such an idiot, Diana.

    A strong smell of weed hung in the air, puffs of smoke escaping people¡¯s mouths. At the front doors, there was a long line of people being admitted one-by-one. Some received wristbands at the front, others didn¡¯t. A girl sat at a table, writing in a clipboard.

    I gulped and crossed my arms, hiding my miniature bust size. I hoped I could lie my way into the party somehow. My heart beat faster as I got closer to the front.

    ¡°Name?¡± the girl at the table asked, her tone bored. She had short black hair with colored highlights lined through the locks, and dark makeup. A nose ring glistened in the dim light.

    I didn¡¯t answer, looking inside the house. It was enormous. Where would I find Jack? I couldn¡¯t decide whether I wanted to find him or not.

    ¡°Ahem. Name?¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± I looked at the girl, our eyes locking.

    Her brows furrowed. ¡°Who are you?¡±

    ¡°Right. Um¡­ sorry. My name is¡­¡± My mind scrambled, my eyes straining to read the list in front of me. There had to be a name on there I could use.

    Stepping forward, I pretended to trip and fall onto the desk. She quickly leaned back to avoid me. I smiled sheepishly. ¡°Sorry.¡± I glanced down to read one of the names upside-down.

    225. Clarissa Kaufman, ¦®¦¦¦³

    She raised her brows. ¡°Well?¡±

    ¡°Clarissa Kaufman,¡± I said quickly.

    She smirked. ¡°Clarissa Kaufman?¡± she said skeptically.

    ¡°Yup! That¡¯s me.¡±

    ¡°STR¡¯s president¡¯s girlfriend?¡±

    Oh. ¡°Y¡­ no. No. Um¡­ yeah, we get that a lot- I get that a lot.¡± I cleared my throat. ¡°No, I¡¯m a different Clarissa Kaufman.¡± I laughed nervously, feeling myself sweat. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ not that Clarissa Kaufman. Common names, you know?¡±

    The girl smiled humorlessly, obviously not buying it. I was usually a good liar, but spur-of-the-moment situations like these always messed me up. ¡°What year are you in?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m a soph- I mean, freshman. In college. Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Are you a plus one? Who invited you?¡±

    ¡°Uh- a girl I know.¡±

    ¡°Come on, hurry up!¡± The line of people behind me complained.

    ¡°Which sorority is she in?¡±

    ¡°Sorority?¡± I was stuck. I didn¡¯t know what sororities there were. I couldn¡¯t even read Greek letters! I tried to glance behind me, desperately searching for a spelled-out name on someone¡¯s jacket.

    I finally found one. ¡°Um¡­ Alpha Mu Chi,¡± I said.

    ¡°Really?¡± She smacked her gum. ¡°That¡¯s a fraternity.¡±

    Oops.

    She chuckled. ¡°Nice try, ¡®brat¡¯. Go home to Mommy. Next!¡±

    I was shoved aside by a guy behind me. I clutched my hair, stress overwhelming me. I couldn¡¯t have a panic attack here. How would I get in now? I couldn¡¯t just stay out here in the cold. I didn¡¯t bring my phone, or money to get a taxi¡­

    I looked between the line of waiting guests and the entrance. I only had one option.

    Glancing one more time at the girl, I ran through the line and into the house. I heard the girl shouting after me, but I was already too far inside.

    ¡°Someone just ran in! She¡¯s like, 12! Get her out of there!¡±

    12? That was just insulting.

    Now what? I was in. I was surrounded by people much older than me, and I had no idea where my foster brother was.

    Maybe I could just¡­ hang. I had nothing else to do except wait for the party to be over so Jack and I could go home.

    I walked through the house, marveling at the tall ceilings and colored chandeliers. For a house that had nothing but crazy frat guys, this was pretty nice.

    I heard something crash, diverting my attention to a bunch of beer bottles shattered on the floor.

    That was more like it.

    In one room, people were surrounding a TV while watching a sports game. In the kitchen, they were eating everything they could find. There was a beer pong game starting up in another part of the living room, crowded with people holding red cups or glass bottles.

    The smell of alcohol and weed was something so familiar, almost nostalgic. It brought both good and bad memories. In a way, it helped me escape when I was with my other families, and it tamed them, too. They could even be sweethearts if they were drunk enough.

    I went into the kitchen and glanced around nervously, bumping into a few girls and smiling awkwardly when we made eye contact. I took a shot glass from the group on the counter filled with¡­ beer?

    I took a sip, only to feel a harsh burn course down my throat. It was bitter, with a touch of disgusting sweetness at the end. That was not beer. ¡°Ugh!¡± I coughed, spitting it out.

    ¡°Never tasted tequila before?¡±

    I turned around. A tall guy with dark skin and a red jacket stood behind me with a smile. The jacket letters were the same letters above the doorway.

    ¡°Um¡­ no.¡± I smiled. ¡°No, I¡¯m more of a beer girl.¡±

    ¡°Beer¡¯s right over here.¡± He grabbed a bottle from a pile, opening it, and tossed it to me.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± I took a sip.

    ¡°You a freshman?¡± The man leaned on the counter in front of me.

    ¡°Uh, yeah.¡±

    ¡°Cool. What sorority?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ a guest. A friend invited me.¡±

    He nodded and took a cup of tequila, sipping it. I didn¡¯t know how he handled that taste. I always hated it.

    ¡°Hey, Noah.¡± Another man came up to us, this one just as tall as the other guy, Noah, but bulkier. ¡°There¡¯s a high school girl that snuck in here. She¡¯s around 14-15, 5¡¯2¡±, blond hair. Keep an eye out for her.¡±

    That was my cue to leave. I slowly crept away and bolted out of the kitchen. I heard cheering erupt from a different room and walked through the hallways to see the commotion.

    Two girls got up on stools holding cups, surrounded by a thick crowd. One had a blue jacket and the other had a purple one, with different Greek letters. They raised one foot and balanced themselves on the stools.

    Everyone chanted as they downed their cups of alcohol; I didn¡¯t know if it was beer or liquor. They tilted their heads back until they finished, crushing their empty cups and throwing them to the floor.

    ¡°Chug it down! Chug it down!¡±

    They repeated the process about three more times, until they started getting tipsy. The girl with the blue jacket soon faltered, pausing mid-drink on her fifth cup. She tilted backwards and fell into the arms of everyone standing behind her.

    The purple girl held up a fist in victory, smiling confidently at the crowd.

    A man soon stepped up, taking a cup of alcohol and downing it with her to the same chant. After a few drinks, he started getting tipsy, as well. Purple girl seemed dizzy, but she kept her balance and raised her brows challengingly. After one more drink, the guy went down.

    ¡°Liquor queen!¡± the girl said drunkenly, throwing her cup down.

    Liquor, huh? This brought back memories¡­ With a smirk, I downed my bottle of beer and went up to them. Maybe participating in a game would keep the security people at bay. If I kept winning, people would want me to keep playing. It never failed.

    I pushed through the crowd and stepped on the stool. The girl smirked at me condescendingly. ¡°Who the ¡®heck¡¯ are you?¡± she laughed. ¡°What the ¡®heck¡¯ you think you¡¯re doing, ¡®brat¡¯?¡±

    I only raised my brows at her and lifted my foot.

    ¡°Come on, Luciana! Don¡¯t be a ¡®wimp¡¯ now!¡± a guy yelled, followed by cheers.

    The girl, Luciana, glared at me, looking me up and down. She then held her hand out for a drink and received another cup.

    ¡°Chug it down! Chug it down!¡±

    As my head tipped back, I let my cheeks bulge with liquor. After a few moments, I swished it around and gulped it down. Everyone cheered, impressed. I resisted the rush of dizziness I got, acting unfazed. It had been a while since I drank like this.

    I held my hand out for another cup, Luciana doing the same. We downed both cups and crushed them, throwing them down.

    ¡°Another one?¡±

    Luciana wiped her mouth and nodded, her eyes fixed on me. Her expression was almost livid.

    ~~~

    Jack

    Everyone bounced to the music blasting through the speakers. I tried keeping away from the other girls around me, not wanting someone to surprise-kiss me or anything. The last thing I needed was someone giving me and Amelia drama.

    ¡°It¡¯s going down,

    I¡¯m yelling ¡®Timber¡¯¡­¡±

    Sam was next to me, already tipping over. He could never hold his liquor. He slung an arm around me and shouted, ¡°LISTEN! This here¡­ is the best guy you¡¯ll know. Give him a bid, people! LET HIM IN!¡±

    I turned red, shying away at the strange looks we were getting. ¡°Sam, shut up.¡± I nudged him.

    He laughed, his breath blowing into my face. I turned away, gagging. ¡°You¡¯re gonna love it, Jack. You¡¯re gonna LOVE IT! I¡¯mma be your Big, you watch.¡± He drank the last of the alcohol left in his cup. ¡°You¡¯re great, ya know that? Amy loves ya.¡±

    I smiled. ¡°Thanks, Sam.¡±

    ¡°And Diana¡­ she¡¯s nice. I like her. Amy woulda, too. I¡¯m happy she¡¯s alive. SHE ALMOST WASN¡¯T!¡±

    ¡°Sam!¡±

    A girl came up to me, throwing herself onto my chest. Startled, I tipped back. Sam fell, his legs thrown up in the air. ¡°Hi¡­¡± the girl giggled, putting her arms around me.

    ¡°Hi,¡± I laughed nervously. I pried her arms off me. ¡°I have a girlfriend, so¡­¡±

    ¡°Aw, she¡¯s a ¡®brat¡¯, forget her.¡±

    ¡°No, thanks.¡± I pushed the girl away and turned to help Sam. Thankfully, the girl¡¯s friend steered her away, mouthing ¡°Sorry¡± to me.

    Someone else startled me again, running towards Sam. It was a guy wearing an STR shirt. ¡°Hey, Sam, we got a problem,¡± he shouted. ¡°We got a minor in here.¡±

    Sam laughed loudly. ¡°Yeah, this prude right here!¡± He hugged me with one arm.

    ¡°No. It¡¯s a high school girl. She¡¯s around 14, short, blond.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you guys have a guest list?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Stephanie tried to keep her out, but she just ran in here. She has wavy blond hair, bluish-green eyes, Steph said.¡±

    Bluish-green eyes?

    ¡°Uh¡­ how tall is she?¡±

    ¡°Around 5¡¯3¡±, I think. Why?¡±

    That sounded way too much like Diana. ¡°Uh, I¡¯ll help look for her.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± The guy patted my shoulder. ¡°You¡¯re a lot more useful than this idiot.¡± He rolled his eyes at drunken Sam.

    I gulped. Diana looked pretty suspicious when she came asking me questions. It was a far-fetched idea, though. It was probably just some random girl.

    ¡°Jack!¡± Hector came running up to us, panting. He was invited by someone else we knew in the frat. I was actually surprised he was sober; he was usually a heavy drinker.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± I said.

    He put a finger to his lips and motioned for me to follow. I hesitated, glancing at Sam. I dragged him with me and we went to an emptier hall, away from the music. My throat was sore from shouting. I was glad we could talk normally.

    ¡°Okay¡­¡± Hector looked around, paranoid. ¡°There¡¯s a problem.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a girl that snuck in here-¡±

    ¡°Yeah, they told us.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ I found her.¡± He showed me a picture. ¡°Is it just me, or is that¡­?¡±

    My eyes widened at the photo of a very familiar girl standing on a stool, holding up a cup of alcohol, her mouth open in a cheer. I stammered for a few moments, unable to speak.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a yes,¡± said Hector.

    ¡°Wh-where¡­?¡±

    ¡°In the game room. She got in a drinking contest, and no one¡¯s letting her leave.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s what?!¡± I dropped Sam. ¡°Where?¡±

    Hector led me through the rooms and crowds to said room. I prayed to God, asking for forgiveness and promising I wouldn¡¯t do this again. This was the worst thing that could happen. I could be in serious trouble.

    My worst fears were soon confirmed. Diana was downing a cup of liquor with a guy from a different frat. She smiled and threw her cup away, throwing her arms up while the guy dropped to the floor.

    ¡°Diana! Hey!¡± I pushed through the crowd until I got to the stool she stood on.

    ¡°Hey! Jack!¡± She smiled clumsily, obviously drunk. ¡°How ya doing?¡±

    ¡°Diana, get down from there!¡±

    ¡°I just started the round!¡± she whined.

    ¡°Just¡­ get down!¡± I pulled her off the stool, hearing complaints from everyone else.

    ¡°Whee!¡± Her arm flew out as she spun unsteadily. She accidentally smacked a guy in the face.

    ¡°Guys, she¡¯s 16 years old. She can¡¯t be here. Sorry, but get someone else to drink.¡± I put an arm around her, steering her away.

    Everyone complained and pulled her back towards the stool. ¡°Jack¡­ I¡¯m the queen. Get it?¡± She slung an arm around me.

    I leaned away from her breath. ¡°Diana-¡±

    ¡°Queen Diana of liquor! The crowd goes wild! Rah!¡± She pumped her fist in the air. Everyone cheered along with her.

    ¡°Yeah, we get it. You¡¯re the queen. We gotta go home,¡± I said, lightly pushing her away. Her breath was revolting.

    ¡°Aw, come on, it¡¯s not even 10:00 yet!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s 11.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s too early! One more round!¡±

    ¡°How much have you drunk?¡±

    ¡°Not too much. Just a teensy, eensy, weensy, wittle bit.¡± She made the tiny finger gesture as she spoke, her speech slurred.

    ¡°Diana, that¡¯s enough, we¡¯re going home.¡± I moved. Hector helped me lead her away from the complaining crowd, shielding us from reaching hands. We finally returned to the quieter hall, where Sam was now passed out.

    ¡°What do we do?¡± he asked, supporting Diana¡¯s weight.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know! My parents will kill me- the police will kill me!¡±

    ¡°Only if they find out.¡±

    ¡°And I can say bye to getting a bid.¡±

    Diana looked at a wall mirror and pointed. ¡°That is me.¡±

    I sighed, taking out my phone. I stared at my lock screen for a few moments before reluctantly going to the contacts.

    ¡°I look fuzzy.¡± She giggled and leaned into Hector.

    I looked for Kyle¡¯s number. ¡°I¡¯m gonna be in so much trouble¡­¡±

    With growing dread, I texted him.

 31~ Hangover

    Harry

    ¡°Psst. Harry, wake up.¡± Someone shook me. I opened my eyes and groggily looked up at a shadow hovering over me.

    ¡°Get up,¡± he whispered.

    ¡°Kyle?¡± I reached over and turned on the lamp on my bedside table. Looking at Tommy, I saw him putting on a sweater. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±

    ¡°Emergency. Jack just texted me.¡±

    ¡°What? Jack? But¡­ what happened?¡±

    ¡°Just change and I¡¯ll explain later. The car¡¯s gonna be here soon.¡±

    ¡°Car?¡± I got out of bed and went to the closet.

    We all snuck out and waited on the porch. Kyle was muttering to himself the entire time, but didn¡¯t explain yet. After a while, the Rideshare car arrived.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna kill them. I¡¯m gonna throw them off the roof¡­¡± Kyle¡¯s fists opened and closed as we got in.

    ¡°Okay, spill. What happened?¡± Tommy asked.

    ¡°Our dear brother and Diana decided to go partying in the middle of the night,¡± Kyle said angrily.

    ¡°Wait, what?¡± I furrowed my brows.

    ¡°Jack snuck out to go to a frat party, and Diana stowed away with him.¡±

    Tommy¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°A frat party?¡±

    ¡°And she went there with Jack?¡± I said.

    ¡°She was alone. Jack didn¡¯t even know she was there.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ what are we gonna do?¡±

    ¡°He asked us to help him get Diana out of there. He doesn¡¯t want the frat to find out that she¡¯s related to him, or he¡¯ll get in trouble.¡±

    I rubbed my head. ¡°What about Diana? Is she okay?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s drunk. She played a drinking contest for hours. God knows how many she¡¯s had.¡±

    We arrived at the frat house a little while later. The place was lit, with colored lights glowing from the numerous windows and music blasting loudly. Kyle fumed. ¡°I¡¯m gonna kill them. I¡¯ll drown them in the pool¡­¡±

    We ran across the huge front lawn to the doors, where a girl was talking frantically to two men wearing the fraternity jacket. ¡°Whoa, hey, who are you?¡± She stopped us in our tracks, holding up a hand.

    ¡°Uh¡­ we got invited here.¡± Kyle said.

    ¡°By who?¡±

    ¡°Henry,¡± he answered quickly. I glanced at him questioningly.

    ¡°Only one guest per member.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re with me; they¡¯re my brothers. Um¡­ I think Henry¡¯s kinda wasted,¡± Kyle chuckled. ¡°He must¡¯ve forgotten. But my brothers overheard me, and I couldn¡¯t shake ¡®em. You know how little brothers are.¡±

    ¡°How old are you?¡±

    ¡°Uh- I¡¯m 21,¡± he lied quickly. It was almost the truth; his birthday was in a few months. ¡°I didn¡¯t bring ID, sorry. And they¡¯re with me.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal,¡± said one of the guys. ¡°Lots of people left.¡±

    The girl rolled her eyes and jerked her head at the door. ¡°Go on in.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± We rushed inside, searching the crowd for Jack and Diana. We passed a group of girls heading out, leading a girl who was in tears. In another room, a girl was arguing with a drunk frat guy, who called her unbelievably horrible names.

    I couldn¡¯t believe she came here. What was she thinking? How did Jack not realize she came with him?

    ¡°Who¡¯s Henry?¡± I shouted.

    ¡°Guy in my class. I recognized the letters on the house. He wears the shirt sometimes.¡±

    Jack soon found us, approaching us with Hector¡ª what was he doing here? ¡°Thank God. She¡¯s in the game room watching other people play. We gotta get her out before it¡¯s her turn.¡±

    ¡°You know you¡¯re dead when we get home, right?¡± Kyle said.

    ¡°Yeah, I know. Just help us get her out of there. She won¡¯t listen.¡±

    We soon found the competition. There were two men downing cups of alcohol, standing on stools. Within the crowd, I saw a shock of blond hair.

    ¡°Diana!¡± I went up to her, grabbing her arm. When she turned around, it was an unfamiliar face.

    She pushed me away, wobbling. ¡°Get off me, you creep!¡± she shouted drunkenly.

    ¡°Sorry. I thought¡­ sorry.¡± I backed away and looked around for Diana. I really hoped she hadn¡¯t left. I was worried someone would-

    There was a crash, followed by a groan. I went into the next room and saw a guy sprawled on the floor next to a fallen table, surrounded by spilled food.

    Diana was standing in front of him, wiping her jeans and swaying back and forth. ¡°You try that again¡­ I¡¯ll kill you! You hear me?¡± she yelled.

    At least she could still handle herself when she was drunk.

    ¡°Diana!¡± I took her arm and pulled her with me, resisting my urge to kill the guy for whatever he did to her.

    She pulled away from my hold, raising her fist to punch me. ¡°Hey! Don¡¯t you-¡±

    ¡°Whoa, calm down! It¡¯s me, Harry!¡±

    ¡°You stay away!¡± She backed away, tripping on her heel and falling backwards.

    I caught her wrist and pulled her back up, steadying her and turning her gaze to me. ¡°Listen, we need to get out of here. Just follow me-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not following you! Marco!¡±

    ¡°Diana, it¡¯s Harry. Your foster brother.¡±

    She didn¡¯t seem convinced. She was really wasted.

    ¡°There you are!¡± Kyle and Tommy ran up to us. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s get out of here.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere! I¡¯m¡­ I need to¡­¡±

    Kyle took her hand. ¡°Diana, we¡¯re going home.¡±

    ¡°Get off!¡± She punched him in the arm.

    ¡°She¡¯s delirious,¡± I explained. ¡°She doesn¡¯t recognize us.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s just great.¡± Tommy slapped his forehead.

    ¡°Where¡¯s Marco?¡± She blinked unsteadily, shifting on her feet.

    ¡°Who?¡± Tommy asked.

    ¡°Marco!¡±

    ¡°Polo!¡± A drunk guy approached us.

    Kyle wordlessly shoved him away. ¡°Let¡¯s just go. Uh, Diana, come on. We¡¯ll take you to¡­ Marco.¡± He gently took her by the arm and steered her away.

    ¡°You know him?¡± She seemed to brighten at his name.

    He leaned away, gagging at her breath. ¡°Yeah, we know him. We¡¯ll take you right to him.¡± I took her other arm and we walked her out of the room.

    She followed us for a bit, then pulled away from us. ¡°Wait¡­¡± She pointed at us, her finger shaking wildly. ¡°This is a trick, right?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a trick. You don¡¯t know Marco.¡±

    ¡°Diana, listen, just come with us. We¡¯ll take you home,¡± I said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a home!¡± she screamed, walking backwards. ¡°I never¡­ you¡­ I don¡¯t have anything.¡± Her head sagged.

    ¡°We¡¯re trying to protect you, okay?¡± Tommy put a hand on her shoulder. ¡°I know you¡¯re out of it right now, but we¡¯ll help you.¡±

    ¡°Just get away from me!¡± She shoved him hard. It was as if the alcohol doubled her strength.

    ¡°Hey.¡± We turned, seeing a sober guy approaching us. He had Greek letters on his shirt, but they weren¡¯t the same as the house. ¡°Are you bothering her?¡±

    ¡°No, no, she¡¯s our sister-¡±

    Everyone paused, looking at Kyle. The hesitation increased the stranger¡¯s suspicion.

    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

    ¡°She¡¯s just really drunk, and we want to take her home,¡± I explained.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± the guy said.

    ¡°No, she¡¯s our sister,¡± I echoed Kyle, the word giving me goosebumps. I never thought I¡¯d say that again. ¡°She¡¯s had too much.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. How do I know you didn¡¯t spike her drink? How do I know you¡¯re not harassing her? There¡¯s a lot of ¡®jerks¡¯ here.¡±

    ¡°Listen, we get it. Thank you for that, but we swear- here, we have pictures.¡± Tommy quickly took out his phone.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± A couple more guys from the stranger¡¯s frat approached.

    Diana pushed Kyle away as he tried to lead her again. ¡°I¡¯m not letting you do that to me again. I know you¡­ you tried to¡­¡± She suddenly tripped and crashed to the floor, falling down with some other drunk guests.

    ¡°Diana!¡± Kyle and Tommy quickly helped her up. ¡°We don¡¯t have time, let¡¯s go!¡± Kyle said.

    ¡°You¡¯re not going anywhere with her.¡± The three guys blocked our path.

    Tommy showed them a picture we took at the resort together. ¡°Here, you see? She¡¯s our sister. We¡¯re not gonna hurt her.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel good¡­¡± Diana groaned.

    Uh-oh.

    Kyle quickly turned her away so she could projectile vomit all over the floor instead. Some of it got on the surrounding partygoers, causing them to recoil in disgust and glare at us.

    ¡°Sorry.¡± Tommy winced sheepishly at them.

    Diana suddenly fell backwards into Kyle¡¯s arms. ¡°Okay¡­¡± He held her upright and nodded at her feet. ¡°Tommy, take her legs.¡± Tommy lifted her ankles and helped carry her away from the puddle she left on the floor.

    ¡°We¡¯re following you out,¡± the stranger said. ¡°Not taking any chances.¡±

    ¡°Alright, fine,¡± Kyle said, annoyed. ¡°Harry, text Jack, tell him that we found her.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t let anyone see us. He¡¯ll get in trouble.¡±

    ¡°Why would he get in trouble?¡± Frat Guy said suspiciously.

    ¡°I think she¡¯s the high schooler that got in. The girl that was winning the contest?¡± his friend said.

    ¡°Guys, let¡¯s go. She¡¯s heavier than I thought¡­¡± Tommy said.

    ¡°You¡¯re just weak,¡± Kyle told him.

    ¡°Look, he showed you the picture, now let us go, okay? She can¡¯t be here.¡±

    The men looked at each other, then nodded. ¡°We¡¯ll cover you,¡± Frat Guy said. ¡°But we¡¯re following you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, okay, fine.¡±

    We carried her through the crowd. Some sorority girls noticed us, but were thankfully calmed by the frat guys. They also followed us, making it look like a procession. I hoped they wouldn¡¯t attract too much attention.

    An old song played through the speakers, giving me a bit of nostalgia. I couldn¡¯t help but tune into the beat.

    ¡°I wanna scream, and shout, and let it all out,

    And scream, and shout, and let it out¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah, the one who¡¯ll be screaming, shouting, and letting it out is me when we get home,¡± Kyle said under his breath.

    We slowly advanced towards the door, not wanting to cause a commotion by bumping into anyone. Kyle continuously muttered about how he was going to murder Jack when we got home, and how he didn¡¯t care about going to jail for life.

    We hurried out the door, luckily avoiding the girl in charge of the guest list. She seemed busy with a group of party crashers trying to get in. Jack soon came out after with Hector and Sam¡ª the latter of which was very drunk. He was passed out, carried over Hector¡¯s shoulders.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s great. We¡¯re gonna have to call another Rideshare,¡± said Kyle.

    ¡°I¡¯ll drive.¡± Jack held up Sam¡¯s keys. ¡°We¡¯ll take him to his house, then go home.¡±

    Kyle lifted Diana up bridal style, glaring at Jack. The frat guy looked at him, then us. ¡°Yeah, alright. She¡¯s your sister. Now that I can see you guys better, she looks a lot like y¡¯all.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I see it, too,¡± said a girl next to him.

    I stared at Diana¡¯s sleeping face. Amy¡¯s face. There were lots of differences, but they could be twins.

    There should¡¯ve been twins¡­ with Julia. It just seemed so weird. The same birthday?

    ¡°Jack. It¡¯s freezing out here. Open¡­ the ¡®freaking¡¯¡­ door.¡±

    I shuddered away from Kyle. When he got this angry, he got scary.

    Jack used the remote to unlock the car. Tommy opened the back door and Kyle put Diana inside. Hector then put Sam inside. Tommy and I crammed in next to them.

    Frat Guy took a picture of the license plate. When we gave him looks, he shrugged. ¡°Can¡¯t be too careful,¡± he said.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± Jack nodded at Hector. ¡°Thanks, Heck. You want a ride?¡±

    ¡°I brought my car. I¡¯ll see you guys.¡±

    All hell broke loose when we drove away from the frat housing, going towards the main campus. Kyle yelled Jack¡¯s ear off, reprimanding him for everything he did. At one point, Diana moaned, probably getting a headache from Kyle¡¯s yelling, but she was still out. Sometimes, Kyle could be scarier than Dad.

    Then again, if Dad found out¡­

    We dropped Sam off at his house, then went home. Around quarter after midnight, we arrived home and carried Diana inside, struggling to not make any noise. It didn¡¯t help that she started snoring loudly as we brought her in the foyer.

    Kyle covered her mouth, careful not to block her nose. I was carrying her feet while the other two helped guide us through the house and move things out of the way.

    ¡°What did you tell them?¡± Tommy whispered to Jack.

    ¡°Nothing. I just got outta there. If anything, I¡¯ll just say I drove Sam home.¡±

    ¡°Guys, shush!¡± Kyle said. ¡°Keep us from falling.¡±

    I grunted. ¡°Why can¡¯t you just carry her yourself?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m tired.¡±

    Lonnie suddenly came down, sniffing curiously. ¡°Lonnie!¡± Kyle whispered. ¡°Sleepy time! Sleepy time.¡±

    Lonnie ignored him, sniffing Diana. He whimpered and tried pawing her, as trained. His large form was making it harder to go upstairs.

    ¡°Lonnie, sleepy time! One of you go to Di¡¯s room and get him a treat.¡±

    Tommy ran ahead of us, quietly opening Diana¡¯s door. We walked down the hall, shushing Lonnie, and finally got to her room. Tommy repeated the ¡®sleepy time¡¯ command and gave Lonnie his treat when he finally sat down. He still seemed pretty agitated.

    We tucked Diana in and took her shoes off, putting them in the closet. Like robbers at a bank, we hastily left and got back to our rooms. I didn¡¯t even bother to change back into my PJ¡¯s. I just crashed onto my bed and started snoring.

    But just as I drifted off to deep sleep, our light turned on.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± Mom¡¯s voice said silkily.

    Oh, sh-

    ~~~

    Diana

    My head hurt.

    I couldn¡¯t remember the last time I had a headache this bad. It was splitting my skull in half, torturing me to the point of madness. Besides the migraine, I was incredibly nauseous. And hot. And then cold. And then hot again. And I trembled furiously.

    I felt wet, as if someone had poured water all over me. The room was spinning around, even though I hadn¡¯t opened my eyes. I was also quite thirsty, but I was too weak to get up.

    Why was I so sick?

    I tried lifting my head, only for light to come through my closed eyes. My headache increased, causing me to groan lightly and plop my face back into my pillows.

    What happened? I tried to remember, but I felt like my memories were a blur¡­ did I get sick overnight or something? The last thing I remembered¡­ I didn¡¯t know what it was. I was utterly confused.

    ¡°You okay?¡± a girl¡¯s voice said. I already knew who it was.

    ¡°Am I okay?¡± I said, surprised I could talk. Then again, this was all in my head. ¡°What do you think?¡±

    ¡°It was a rhetorical question, ¡®dummy¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t talk to me like that.¡± I finally opened my eyes. My 13-year old self sat in my office chair, swiveling. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I said.

    ¡°Don¡¯t ask me. You¡¯re the one thinking about me,¡± she retorted.

    I sat up. ¡°What happened last night?¡±

    ¡°Beats me. You¡¯re thinking a lot about him, though.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Him.¡±

    I continued staring at her until someone opened my door. Instead of one of my foster brothers, or Susan and Davis, it was¡­

    ¡°Marco?¡±

    ¡°Hey, babe.¡± His towering form approached my younger self, who immediately recoiled, hurt and betrayed. ¡°You owe me a kiss, you know.¡±

    ¡°Leave me alone.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re still mad?¡± He chuckled, leaning towards her. ¡°Come on, it was just a couple pictures. Nothing that bad.¡±

    ¡°You know what you did,¡± she said. ¡°You said you loved me. You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±

    ¡°I do love you.¡±

    ¡°Then why¡¯d you do it? Why¡¯d you share those things?!¡±

    ¡°Because he¡¯s a jerk!¡± I shouted. ¡°He never loved you!¡±

    ¡°I love you,¡± he insisted. ¡°I just got a bit mad, okay? Things happen when you¡¯re angry.¡± He leaned on my office chair¡¯s arms, his face close to my 13-year old self¡¯s.

    Now that I saw it for myself, I realized how sick it was. What was I thinking, falling in love with someone 7 years my senior? What was going through my mind three years ago?

    ¡°Come on, give me a little kiss,¡± he said.

    ¡°NO!¡± Young me pushed him away, standing from the chair. ¡°If you loved me, you wouldn¡¯t have done that!¡±

    ¡°I told you, I was angry.¡±

    ¡°I was angry, too!¡±

    His fingers twitched as he approached her dauntingly. I gasped, trying to get out of bed, but something held me down. They were like invisible chains. I couldn¡¯t move. I couldn¡¯t do anything. ¡°Diana, get away from him!¡± I shouted.

    ¡°You¡¯re making me more angry now. I can do a lot worse,¡± he said, his voice low.

    ¡°Diana!¡± My limbs felt like lead. ¡°GET AWAY FROM HER, MARCO!¡±

    His familiar eyes, which used to bring me so much comfort, now stabbed through me like knives. He grabbed my younger self¡¯s hair and dragged her with him as he approached me. His hand shot out and pressed me onto my bed by my throat. I clawed at him, trying to breathe.

    He lowered his lips to my face, just an inch away from touching me. ¡°You should¡¯ve fought harder than that,¡± he whispered. The lack of air was making me lightheaded. His face blurred, then darkened until everything was black. For a while, I was just floating in a black void, unable to move or speak¡­ or think.

    I suddenly heard a loud bang, like a gunshot, that made my head pound with pain. ¡°GOOD MORNING!¡± The voice came like a huge roar, echoing in my brain.

    I yelled out in pain and turned over, clutching my head. The light returned, making it worse.

    ¡°HEY, DIANA, YOU READY FOR A NEW DAY?!¡± Something shook me wildly and my stomach squeezed. I could only groan in reply, dizziness overtaking me. ¡°WHAT¡¯S WRONG? YOU LOOK A LITTLE SICK!¡±

    ¡°Shut up!¡± I yelled.

    ¡°WHAT, YOUR HEAD HURTS?!¡±

    ¡°I said, shut up!¡± I sort of recognized the voice now¡ª it sounded like Kyle¡¯s.

    ¡°Kyle, come on¡­ alone¡­ lot of pain.¡± I could hardly hear whoever else was talking, but I knew it was one of my other brothers.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not¡­ that¡­ decided¡­ A FRAT PARTY!¡±

    ¡°Aah!¡± I put a pillow over my face. The other person spoke again, but I didn¡¯t hear a word. I felt something wet nuzzle my leg. There were more murmurs before the pillow was taken off my face. I covered my eyes again, unable to stand the light.

    ¡°Turn the light off!¡± I said.

    ¡°It¡¯s the sun,¡± I heard someone say; it sounded like Tommy.

    ¡°Turn the sun off!¡±

    ¡°IT¡¯S YOUR PUNISHMENT, YOUNG LADY!¡±

    Fed up with his torture, I grabbed my pillows and threw them in succession towards the voice. ¡°Kyle, get out! Out!¡±

    ¡°HAVE FUN!¡±

    I sat up, finally opening my eyes, and threw one last pillow at him. ¡°Shut the f- ow!¡± I closed them again and fell backwards in my bed. The pain¡­ it was unbearable.

    A gentle hand stroked through my hair, giving me a bit of comfort. I moaned, feeling the nausea increase. My stomach contracted and I doubled over the side of the bed, letting my guts spill out. There was a rush of weakness, then a bit of strength, which decreased as I vomited again. Someone rubbed my lower back in circles.

    ¡°Ugh¡­¡± I lied back down, trying to open my eyes. With my distorted, blurry vision, I could see a shadow that morphed into Susan¡¯s face.

    ¡°You have some explaining to do,¡± she said, her expression firm and quite furious.

    I looked to my left and saw Jack sitting on my bed, a sheepish look on his face. ¡°What¡­ happened?¡±

    ¡°How about you tell me?¡± Susan asked.

    I shook my head. ¡°I dunno¡­¡± I groaned and clutched my head again. ¡°I can¡¯t remember.¡±

    ¡°Then let Jack explain.¡±

    Jack sighed. ¡°You stowed away with me to a party last night.¡±

    I looked at him with confusion. ¡°From the beginning, Jack.¡± Susan raised a brow at him.

    He sighed again. ¡°I went to a party last night at Sam¡¯s frat house. You stowed away in his car. We didn¡¯t notice. Then you got into the house, and you played a drinking contest for a few hours. I went to get you, but everyone wanted you to stay. They carried you around and called you ¡®Liquor Queen¡¯, then you danced on the table, and¡­ you sang ¡®Barbie Girl¡¯. And then you kicked a guy who grabbed your¡­ behind, and he broke his arm when you threw him on a table, our brothers came to get you, you didn¡¯t recognize any of us, you kept on calling for¡­ ¡®Marco¡¯, then you threw up and passed out.¡±

    I only stared at him, not believing anything he just said. I looked at Susan. ¡°What is he talking about?¡± I winced at another headache that attacked me, but then felt a flash¡­ a flash of memory.

    I remembered changing, then being covered by my coat, then lying to a girl at a table¡­ then I was drinking, then a guy fell while I was yelling¡­ and then it went black. It was all a mess of memories, a total blur.

    I groaned again, this time with dread as I pressed my hands on my forehead. ¡°I am such an idiot.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re both grounded until Christmas,¡± Susan said. ¡°Your other brothers are only grounded until Saturday because they tried to help you.¡± She pulled the covers over me and took a wet towel from a bowl on my side table, placing it on my head. ¡°Now, you just rest and get through this hangover. This¡¯ll be punishment enough. No extra chores, okay? Jack¡¯s doing them all.¡±

    I only managed a nod. Lonnie jumped on the bed, lying on my lap to comfort me. I petted him, reassuring him I would be fine.

    Why did I go back to all that?

 32~ Loose Ends

    December 22<sup>nd</sup>, 2023

    Susan and Davis took me to see my parents today.

    Despite my grounding, I was allowed to go to places like this; important places. We had already planned this little trip, and that wasn¡¯t something they¡¯d take away.

    Their mode of parenting was something to get used to. There was no screaming, hitting, or threatening when they scolded me. They took away privileges and made it clear that it was ¡®their house, their rules¡¯ without any harsh treatment. I hadn¡¯t been in major trouble with them during my stay¡ª surprisingly¡ª so this was the first time they scolded me severely. But to me, it wasn¡¯t severe.

    Out of respect, I accepted my punishment and promised not to do this again, but had it been any other family, I would¡¯ve disobeyed them right away. This kind of discipline was just so light compared to others.

    Of course, I knew I had taken a big risk. Something more dangerous could¡¯ve happened to me at that party. The incident was reported, but because I came out in one piece, I wasn¡¯t moved.

    This marked the second time the boys saved my butt. I didn¡¯t know how they didn¡¯t get sick of me. If I were them, I would¡¯ve sent myself away.

    Upon arriving in Pierce, my memories started coming back to me. Places I hadn¡¯t remembered in over a decade gradually found their spots in my brain. The nostalgia was so strange. It felt like another reality, one where I had a family, and a home, and happiness. I had a normal life.

    ¡°165, right?¡± Davis said.

    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± My heart quickened when we turned the corner, passing the street sign that read, ¡®Waterfield St.¡¯

    And there it was.

    My house. My home. The home I started my life in. The home I was happy in. Where my parents used to live.

    ¡°You want to get out of the car, or do you want to keep going?¡± Susan asked.

    I swallowed, staring at the house as Davis crawled past. I remembered the windows seeming so big to me. Now they didn¡¯t seem that big. The house itself was pretty small.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll get out,¡± I finally said. Davis stopped and I got out with Lonnie. He could already feel my anxiety rising, so he pressed himself to my side.

    I¡¯m right here, Diana. I won¡¯t leave you, I could hear him saying.

    I stood in front of the little white house. The lights were off inside, just like they were the day my parents died.

    ¡°Diana¡­ can I ask you¡­?¡± Harry stood next to me.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°How did your¡­?¡± He trailed off.

    ¡°They got a call that my grandma had a heart attack while I was at school. They didn¡¯t have time to wait for me to get out, so they left me a note and went. On the way there, a drunk truck driver caused a huge pile-up on the highway. The cargo box fell and crushed them.¡±

    A few moments passed. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±

    ¡°I expected it to hurt¡­ but it doesn¡¯t, not as much. I guess because I had so little time with them.¡±

    ¡°What about your grandma?¡±

    ¡°I dunno. I guess she died.¡± I shrugged. ¡°I never actually met her. The only family we talked to was my aunt and uncle, and their kids.¡±

    As I stared, I saw my little self walking up to the house, her backpack on. She stopped short, staring at the darkened windows. A sob tore out of my chest and I crouched, covering my mouth. Harry hugged me on one side while Lonnie comforted me with DPT.

    ¡°We should go,¡± Susan said gently, holding my shoulders. I nodded and followed her back to the van.

    The cemetery was about a half-hour away from my old house. It wasn¡¯t as pretty as the one Amy and Julia were buried in. After a while of looking, Kyle finally found their names and called us over. It was a large gravestone with my dad on the left and my mom on the right.

    STUART ROBERT WATSON

    Feb. 27, 1983-Nov. 8, 2011

    Beloved Father and Husband

    CHARLOTTE AIDA WATSON

    Oct. 9, 1986-Nov. 8, 2011

    Beloved Mother and Wife

    I stared at their names, engraving them in my mind. I worried that, with all I¡¯d forgotten, I¡¯d even forget their names, too.

    ¡°Your mom was only 25?¡± said Susan.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ and my dad was 28. Bit old, I know,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t know the whole story, but they met when my mom graduated college. They wound up pregnant with me, and they got married.¡± I looked at the spot next to my parents. I could see an extra stone there with my mind¡¯s eye.

    DIANA BRIANNA WATSON

    Jul. 13, 2007-Nov. 8, 2011

    Innocent Daughter

    It made sense to me. I died that day. The little girl who thought the world moved when she was in a car, the girl whose definition of a perfect day was based on a cartoon, the girl that thought knowing her address by heart was her greatest accomplishment. She was dead and buried with her parents.

    As I turned back to my parents¡¯ grave, a body suddenly appeared before me. My body. She was 4 years old. She was still wearing the same clothes she wore that day at preschool. Her cold hands clutched a sunflower and her eyes were closed.

    I blinked, dizzy, and the body was gone. Lonnie alerted me to sit down. ¡°You want to go, Diana?¡± Davis asked.

    ¡°Just a few more minutes.¡± I petted Lonnie. ¡°Could you give me the flowers?¡±

    Susan reached into the extra bag she brought, bringing out the small bouquet of sunflowers we¡¯d bought on the way. I took them, thanking her, and placed them gently on my parents¡¯ grave, right between them.

    ¡°Hi, Mom and Dad¡­¡± I found myself saying. ¡°It¡¯s been a while.¡± My voice wavered. ¡°I hope you¡¯re okay. I hope you¡¯re happy¡­ in a better place. I really hope so.¡± I hugged Lonnie tighter. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m so¡­¡±

    Kyle and Jack readily embraced me as I sobbed. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡­ I¡¯m so, so sorry¡­ I¡¯m not the girl you raised. I¡¯m not the daughter you knew. I¡¯m so sorry.¡±

    ¡°Diana¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry! I¡¯m sorry, Mommy¡­¡± I quieted down, crying silently. Lonnie licked my tears clean.

    After a while, I calmed down. Harry crouched in front of me. ¡°Diana. Look at me,¡± he said.

    Despite the weight on my eyes, I forced them to meet his. His eyes were full of affection and kindness.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been through so much. You¡¯ve taken so much pain, and trauma, and us on top of it. I know your parents are very proud of you. You got shoved into situations you didn¡¯t deserve to be in. You got hurt by a lot of people. But you¡¯re a fighter. You¡¯re so strong, Diana. Stronger than any of us could ever be. Don¡¯t be sorry. I know your parents aren¡¯t disappointed. I know they¡¯re proud.¡±

    The tears continued and I hugged him, burying my face in his chest. Comfort like this was a new feeling for me. I felt like no one could touch me. No one could take me away. I was¡­

    Home.

    ~~~

    Harry heard that Monica returned to the hospital yesterday. I decided to take the chance to visit her. At first, I didn¡¯t want to be friends, considering she knew Amy, but I figured I could ease her curiosity. She looked so awestruck when she saw me the first time, her mind probably swimming with questions.

    The family told me she was friends with Amy and Ivy since they were children. The whole time, she was battling ALL, a leukemia she had since she was 4. After Amy died of her stomach cancer, Monica seemed to get worse, so much that she had to quit school. She was constantly in and out of the hospital for chemo and operations.

    Now that I knew her full story, I felt pretty bad for snapping at her that first day we met. I was still stressed because of what happened. That was already almost a month ago.

    Almost a month since I did what I did, and many times, I kept wanting to try again.

    We arrived at the hospital and were led to Monica¡¯s room. Her long, auburn waves were gone now, her smooth head shining under the light. Her wig sat on a wig stand, sitting on a nearby table.

    She wasn¡¯t alone, though. There was another girl in the room¡ª someone quite familiar.

    Susan knocked on the door. ¡°Hi, sweeties.¡±

    Monica brightened while Ivy froze like a statue, awkwardly looking at her and the rest of us. ¡°Hi, Mrs. Field,¡± Monica said happily. ¡°How¡¯ve you been?¡±

    ¡°Getting through. What about you two?¡±

    Monica shrugged. ¡°Another day at the office.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m doing fine,¡± said Ivy.

    ¡°How¡¯s school, Ivy?¡± Davis asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±

    ¡°Oh, by the way, I saw your posts; that place looked really fun! It was a ski resort, right? Which one?¡±

    ¡°Snowcap, I think. It was fun. We figured we¡¯d take Diana out on her first Field Day.¡± With everyone¡¯s attention drawn to me, I shyly peeked out from behind Davis. Ivy¡¯s face instantly soured.

    ¡°Oh, yeah¡­ Diana,¡± Monica said, waving to me. ¡°I saw her here last month.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she told us,¡± said Kyle.

    I waved back shyly. ¡°How are you?¡±

    ¡°You know, Ivy, I¡¯m surprised you didn¡¯t mention Diana to Monica,¡± said Susan.

    The brunette girl hesitated. ¡°Oh¡­ it slipped my mind.¡±

    ¡°She said she didn¡¯t know about her,¡± said Monica. ¡°Since you guys didn¡¯t start posting about her until now.¡±

    ¡°You said that?¡± Tommy chuckled. ¡°Diana literally went to our school.¡±

    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

    ¡°She did?¡± Monica looked at Ivy. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you say anything?¡±

    Ivy smiled nervously. ¡°I¡­ I just didn¡¯t want to talk about it.¡±

    ¡°No one else from school told you?¡± Harry asked.

    ¡°To tell you the truth, the only friends I really had were Ames and Ives. All my other friends stopped talking to me when they found out I had cancer.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ mean,¡± I said.

    She shrugged again, uncaring. ¡°Happens.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ your first Field Day, huh?¡± Ivy leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. ¡°Funny. I thought Field Days were only for Fields.¡±

    ¡°Ivy, you went on Field Days with us,¡± Kyle pointed out.

    ¡°As a friend, not family.¡±

    The atmosphere grew tense. Monica frowned at her best friend. ¡°What¡¯s up with you?¡± she said.

    Ivy sighed. ¡°Nothing. I gotta go to the bathroom. Excuse me.¡± Her brown eyes cut through me like knives as she left.

    Monica shook her head. ¡°She didn¡¯t say anything about Diana.¡± She motioned to Ivy¡¯s previous seat. ¡°How about you sit down? Thanks for coming by.¡±

    I smiled awkwardly, sitting down. Susan and Davis shared a subtle look and nudged the boys. ¡°We¡¯ll be outside,¡± said Susan.

    When they left, Monica leaned forward. ¡°So you¡¯re a foster kid?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°How long are you gonna be with the Fields?¡±

    ¡°It was supposed to be six months starting August, but it¡¯s indefinite now. I¡¯m hoping I get to stay until I age out.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ you know all about Amy?¡±

    ¡°Just about. They told me about you, and Ivy,¡± I said. ¡°I kinda get why she¡¯s mad. It¡¯s hard. I¡¯m actually surprised you¡¯re not mad.¡±

    ¡°Why should I be mad?¡±

    ¡°They took me in just a few months after Amy died. It was kind of like a replacement. They even gave me her room, her clothes¡­ and I went to her school. The boys hated me up to when they¡­ when they realized I was¡­ in a bad place.¡± I looked down at my arms. I was so glad it was winter. The scars were still very visible. ¡°It¡¯s a long story. We have to go soon, so¡­ I don¡¯t know if you want to hear all that.¡±

    ¡°You have Familiar?¡± She took her phone off her side table.

    ¡°Uh, yeah.¡± I took out my phone.

    ¡°Here.¡± She opened her account page and showed me her username: @moneysully.

    I added her and smiled. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about me being mad. Why should I be? It¡¯s not your fault. And while Mr. and Mrs. Field screwed up, I get why. People do pretty messed-up stuff without wanting to when they¡¯re grieving.¡± Her voice was full of sympathy and understanding, a complete contrast to what I experienced the entire time I was here. ¡°I¡¯m actually more mad at Ivy than you and Amy¡¯s family. She made friends with girls we hated. I get what she feels, but it hurts to know she¡¯s hanging out with them.¡±

    Before I could ask her anything, Ivy returned. She stopped, glaring at me. ¡°I was sitting there,¡± she said.

    ¡°Ives, there¡¯s a chair right there.¡± Monica pointed at the chair next to her bed. ¡°What¡¯s going on with you?¡±

    The other girl sighed, plopping into the extra chair. Awkward silence.

    ¡°Ivy, I want to know why you were hiding all this from me.¡±

    ¡°Because it would just stress you out. I didn¡¯t want to aggravate you.¡±

    ¡°You could¡¯ve told me when I was home.¡±

    Ivy sighed. ¡°Money, please, I don¡¯t want to talk about this.¡±

    ¡°Money?¡±

    ¡°My nickname. Just like I call her Ives, and Amy was Ames.¡± She laughed. ¡°Amy hated when her brothers called her that. I never knew why. It just triggered her.¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t need to know that, Monica,¡± said Ivy.

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    This wasn¡¯t going the way I hoped. I wanted to talk to Monica, not Ivy. She just had to be here the same day, didn¡¯t she? I was hoping I wouldn¡¯t see her again, not after all she said about me.

    I stood, smiling politely. I pretended to look at my phone. ¡°Susan just texted me. It¡¯s getting late, so¡­ how long are you gonna be here?¡±

    ¡°Not long, but you can always text me,¡± Monica said.

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll see you.¡± I quickly got out of there, feeling Ivy¡¯s knife-sharp eyes on my back.

    ~~~

    Tommy

    The basement was freezing, so I had the portable heater on. I had to wait a little while until I could actually go inside. It was full of dust, making me sneeze, and it smelled musty. I opened a window to let some of it out, the air biting my skin.

    It was a lot cleaner than it used to be. We all cleaned it up and organized everything after Amy died. It helped take our minds off her¡­ until we had to clean out her things. Lots of her old stuff was given away, all of us desperate to rid ourselves of the painful memories. We only kept the most important things.

    Amy¡¯s house was one of the most treasured memories. It was under a tarp, protected from dust and mold. I was tempted to uncover it and see it, but I couldn¡¯t look at it. It was a constant reminder of her, of what she never got to see. The future she deserved, but never received.

    Nearby was a much larger object, also protected by an old bedsheet. This one, I uncovered. A large cloud of dust rose in the air, and I coughed, blowing it all towards the open window letting the winter air inside.

    The grand piano was almost a foreign sight, its former home being the living room. It was a wedding gift from our grandparents, so it was pretty old. Since I started walking, I¡¯d play it. I took classes for a few years, but with all I was doing at school, I didn¡¯t have time anymore. Church was what kept me connected to the piano in high school, until Amy died.

    During Christmas, we would always sing carols. Usually, at this time of year, I¡¯d be rehearsing for the Christmas service at church, with Amy singing. Her voice was so¡­ beautiful. I¡¯d give anything to hear it again¡ª not through my phone, obviously. I wanted her.

    Diana looked like Amy, but she didn¡¯t sound much like her. Her voice was a bit higher and quieter. Amy¡¯s voice was bolder, more assertive. In terms of personality, they were pretty much opposites, with a few things in common.

    After stretching, I closed the window and sat at the piano. My fingers caressed the keys. It felt so weird sitting here. It was as if I could pretend everything was completely normal.

    I hit a key, then another. I tried to think of a song. Amy and I would bond over the piano when we were younger. Recently, though, it had become more of a routine solely for church services. She never felt like singing with me for fun anymore.

    I swallowed down tears. She didn¡¯t want to be with us anymore. It was why she wouldn¡¯t tell us about important stuff in her life, things that happened to her at school, accomplishments she¡¯d made. Whenever she did, we¡¯d start cracking jokes. I always saw it as good humor, but after seeing the way she deflated and quieted down, I realized how much we hurt her.

    And then there was Diana¡­ who tried to take her own life because of us. I thought it was bad enough when Amy ran away from home.

    ¡°Hello?¡±

    I jumped, startled, and stopped the little tune I was playing. Diana came down the stairs with Lonnie in tow. ¡°Tommy? What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°Hey, Di,¡± I said. ¡°Nothing, just messing around.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you played piano.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been a while. I¡¯m a little rusty.¡±

    She walked up to me. I scooted aside so she could sit next to me on the bench. Lonnie curled up on the floor. ¡°You always had this?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yeah, for years. We always played on it. Amy used to sing, I was on piano, Kyle and Jack played guitar, and Harry was on drums. We¡¯d play at our church during worship. We loved it.¡±

    ¡°What made you play now?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I was feeling a bit down about¡­ everything. Shirley, mostly. Thought this would help.¡±

    ¡°How are you doing with that?¡±

    ¡°Fine. She didn¡¯t do anything crazy at school like I thought.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s gotta be awkward, being around her.¡±

    ¡°She moved, actually.¡±

    Diana looked at me. ¡°She moved? Why?¡±

    ¡°A friend of hers rage-texted me saying Shirley moved because of me. She went to live with her grandmother.¡±

    She raised her brows. ¡°Did you talk to her?¡±

    ¡°Nah, she blocked me. Maybe it¡¯s best. Still, it¡¯s pretty extreme. There had to be some other reason than me¡­ like, that¡¯s where Lucas is now after he got expelled.¡±

    ¡°Ouch,¡± she remarked. ¡°She was talking to that creep?¡±

    ¡°I always ignored it. But¡­ there were a lot of signs. Even so, I think it¡¯s just physical, unless she¡¯s faking everything she¡¯s posting.¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°Is her username still the same?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ I think Kyle sent me a screenshot.¡± I took out my phone and opened Kyle¡¯s chat, showing her the picture. Instead of @TommyFieldsBaby, it said, @immsosadandlooonely. Her profile picture was changed to Harley Quinn crying, and almost all of her photos below were deleted.

    ¡°Not gonna lie¡­ I don¡¯t want to sound ¡®mean¡¯, but that¡¯s pathetic.¡±

    I shrugged, putting away my phone. ¡°She¡¯ll get over it. She was cheating on me, so.¡±

    ¡°You seem pretty chill about it.¡±

    ¡°Made me feel less guilty about breaking up with her. I was way too nice.¡± I tapped on the piano keys again.

    ¡°You know any songs?¡±

    ¡°Lots of them. I don¡¯t know which one I should play, though.¡± I absentmindedly played a tune stuck in my mind.

    ¡°Oh, I love that song.¡± Diana hummed along. She hit all the notes correctly.

    ¡°You know how to sing?¡± I asked her.

    She blushed. ¡°I dunno. I¡¯ve never actually done it¡ª unless you count that party, but I was drunk. People who heard me would tell me to shut up, so I assumed I was tone-deaf.¡±

    ¡°No, you¡¯re not. They were just jerks. You know this song?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, like I said, I love it.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s try it.¡± I smiled at her.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll play, we both sing.¡±

    ¡°Uh-¡± She laughed. ¡°I¡¯mma say no.¡±

    ¡°Come on, Di.¡±

    ¡°No. Not happening.¡±

    ¡°What if I do something for you?¡± I proposed.

    She smiled mischievously. ¡°Like what?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll do your chores.¡±

    ¡°Jack¡¯s doing them, remember? We¡¯re grounded.¡±

    ¡°Then¡­ I¡¯ll cook you your favorite meal.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t cook!¡± she laughed.

    ¡°Yeah, I can!¡±

    ¡°Not as good as me.¡±

    ¡°Okay, fine. You decide.¡±

    She paused, thinking. ¡°How about¡­?¡± A grin grew on her face, making me regret my proposal. ¡°You give me your stash of Tarties?¡±

    I almost jumped in my seat. ¡°How¡¯d you know about-?¡±

    ¡°When it comes to secret stashes, nothing can escape me.¡± She picked at her nails, her face smug. ¡°Like Kyle¡¯s beer stash. I knew about it months ago. And I know about some other stashes Jack and Harry have.¡±

    My curiosity sparked. ¡°What stashes?¡±

    ¡°Secret.¡±

    ¡°Oh, come on!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a tattletale. Everyone knows that.¡±

    ¡°Since when? I helped you out of the frat party.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you and sing with you if I get all your Tarties.¡±

    ¡°All of them?¡± I whined.

    ¡°All of them.¡±

    After deliberating, I groaned. ¡°Okay, fine.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Diana took a deep breath, wiping her hands on her pants. ¡°So¡­ you¡¯re just gonna start playing?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just you and me. For fun.¡±

    She cleared her throat. ¡°I¡¯m rusty. I¡¯ve never sung¡­ aloud.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m rusty, too. It¡¯s fine. I won¡¯t judge.¡± My fingers ran down the length of the piano. I then positioned them and started the tune.

    The song was originally on guitar, so I was a bit clumsy at first, trying to remember the matching piano keys. I then got into a groove and started singing the first stanza.

    ¡°Tell me something, girl,

    Are you happy in this modern world?

    Or do you need more?

    Is there something else you¡¯re searching for?¡±

    I flashed a smile at the nervous Diana, continuing. ¡°I¡¯m falling,

    In all the good times, I find myself longing¡­ for change,

    And in the bad times, I fear myself¡­¡±

    I played the short solo. ¡°Nice voice,¡± Diana complimented me.

    ¡°Thanks. Your turn.¡±

    Diana waited until I finished the solo, then shakily inhaled, starting to sing. ¡°Tell me something, boy¡­ aren¡¯t you tired trying to fill that void?¡± Her face turned red. ¡°Or do you need more?¡± She swallowed. ¡°Ain¡¯t it hard keeping it so hardcore?¡±

    My fingers found the rhythm, all the memories coming back. It was hard to believe it was Diana singing and not Amy. Her voice was pretty different.

    ¡°I¡¯m falling,

    In all the good times, I find myself longing¡­ for change¡­

    And in the bad times, I fear myself¡­¡±

    Diana took in a hasty breath. I expected her to sing the chorus in falsetto, but she surprised me when she belted out the high notes. Her voice cracked at first, affected by her nerves and lack of practice, but it sounded really nice.

    ¡°I¡¯m off the deep end, watch as I dive in,

    I¡¯ll never meet the ground¡­

    Crash through the surface, where they can¡¯t hurt us,

    We¡¯re far from the shallow now¡­¡±

    I joined in, harmonizing. Both of us smiled. Lonnie¡¯s tongue hung out in a dog smile, his tail wagging. ¡°In the sha-ha¡­ sha-hal-low, In the sha-ha-sha-la-la-la-low, In the sha-ha¡­ sha-hal-low, we¡¯re far from the shallow now¡­¡±

    Diana¡¯s voice cracked or wavered a few times as she vocalized, but she hit all the right notes. My heart beat faster, goosebumps rising. This was such a familiar feeling. I could almost hear Amy singing along with us.

    ¡°I¡¯m off the deep end, watch as I dive in,

    I¡¯ll never meet the ground¡­!

    Crash through the surface, where they can¡¯t hurt us,

    We¡¯re far from the shallow now.¡±

    I tapped my foot to the rhythm, singing with her. ¡°In the sha-ha¡­ sha-hal-low,

    In the sha-ha-sha-la-la-la-low,

    In the sha-ha-sha-hal-low,

    We¡¯re far from the shallow now.¡± The song ended softly. Both of us smiled, chills shaking our bodies.

    ¡°Wow.¡±

    We turned. All my brothers were at the stairs, staring at us. Diana turned away, embarrassed. ¡°How long have you guys been there?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Since the first chorus. We could hear you.¡± They approached.

    Diana covered her face, groaning. Lonnie licked her.

    ¡°What¡¯s the big deal?¡± said Kyle. ¡°That was great.¡±

    She peeked through her fingers. ¡°It was?¡±

    ¡°Your voice needs some control, but¡­ that¡¯s a hard song, Diana. Even Amy had a hard time. You sang it like it was nothing,¡± said Harry.

    Diana pet Lonnie to reassure him she was calm. He turned away, sniffing around the basement curiously. ¡°I think you guys are just trying to be nice.¡±

    ¡°Diana, I heard you. You were great,¡± I told her.

    ¡°You think so?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jack insisted.

    She blushed, now flattered. ¡°Then¡­ thanks.¡±

    Lonnie stood on his hind legs, sniffing Amy¡¯s house. I quickly stood to steer him away. ¡°No, Lonnie.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Diana asked.

    I looked at my brothers. Jack seemed a bit apprehensive, but Kyle gave a shrug. ¡°Why don¡¯t we show her?¡±

    I bit my lip. It was going to be painful¡­ but eventually we¡¯d have to see it. ¡°It¡¯s, uh¡­¡± I looked at the others. ¡°You guys want to¡­?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll do it.¡± Harry stepped forward. After a pause, he gently pulled the cloth off.

    My throat closed as I tried to hold back tears. The small, lavender clapboards and violet roofs were enough to pull on my heartstrings. It had taken us so many months to fix it, hours of nonstop work, all hidden here without our parents or Amy noticing. We didn¡¯t want our parents to know because we were using Dad¡¯s tools without permission¡­ and because it was a surprise.

    ¡°Wow¡­¡± Diana whispered. ¡°Is this¡­?¡±

    ¡°Amy¡¯s house.¡±

    She covered her face again. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ you guys didn¡¯t have to show me if you didn¡¯t want to. I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine. We¡¯d have to look at it eventually.¡± Kyle ran his fingers along the smooth, purple roof.

    ¡°It¡¯s beautiful. You guys built this?¡±

    ¡°The first floor wasn¡¯t as damaged, so we used it as a base, and we used Amy¡¯s drawings. She had blueprints and stuff. It¡¯s not as good as it was when she built it, though,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°She designed it?¡±

    ¡°She had a gift.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ she did. It¡¯s so pretty. I don¡¯t see anything wrong with it.¡±

    ¡°I think Mom has pictures of when Amy finished it the first time.¡± Harry ran his hands across the wall. ¡°Like, here. The paint didn¡¯t settle well.¡± He ran his finger across a rough spot of paint. ¡°And here. The window¡¯s crooked, and this part of the roof isn¡¯t placed right-¡±

    ¡°Guys, come on.¡± Diana shook her head at us. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ I know she would¡¯ve loved it. Did you tell her you finished this?¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Yeah. She did see it¡­ just not in person. We just showed her pictures. They didn¡¯t let us bring the whole thing to her room.¡± The day we planned to show it to her was the day she collapsed and went to the hospital. They didn¡¯t allow anything in her room except smaller things like cards or fake flowers, all sterilized.

    ¡°I see. But she did see it, at least. She knew what you did for her¡ª what great brothers you really were.¡±

    A warm feeling settled between us as we stared at Amy¡¯s house together. Even if it wasn¡¯t true¡­ we really needed to hear that.

 33~ A Christmas Prayer

    Susan

    I was extremely nervous as we approached the church. It was long before the Saturday night service, so there were very few people there, preparing for said service. The pastor was most likely in his office, studying and reviewing his sermon for today. Being December 23<sup>rd</sup>, it was important.

    With every step closer to the building, my stomach turned more violently. I could tell Davis felt the same; his face was stone-cold, his eyes fixed forward like security cameras. Both of us knew we were in for a serious conversation.

    Ignoring some stares we received from people in the chapel, we went to the back and found Pastor Donovan¡¯s office. Davis knocked, his fist shaking.

    The familiar man opened the door and instantly smiled. ¡°Susan, Davis. Come in,¡± he said. We entered and sat in front of his desk, where Bibles, papers, and notes were sprawled. He quickly gathered them up into organized piles.

    ¡°How are you, Donovan?¡± I said.

    ¡°I¡¯m doing good. Excited for the holidays. Christmas is my favorite. The kids want me to pray that Jesus tells Santa they¡¯re good kids.¡± We chuckled. ¡°So¡­ it¡¯s been a long while since we¡¯ve seen you two. And your sons. How are they?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re doing fine,¡± said Davis. ¡°Jack started college this year. He just finished his first semester.¡±

    ¡°Really? That¡¯s great,¡± Pastor Donovan commented. ¡°What major?¡±

    ¡°Exercise Science.¡±

    He whistled, impressed. ¡°And how¡¯s Kyle?¡±

    ¡°Doing well. He got on the Dean¡¯s List again.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s awesome. And Tommy and Harry? Tommy¡¯s a senior in high school, right? Is he ready for college next fall?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s not going to college,¡± said Davis. ¡°I, personally, would¡¯ve liked him to go, but this is his career, not mine. I trust him. Uh, he and Harry quit the football team recently.¡±

    ¡°Really? Why?¡±

    ¡°A lot of problems with the other boys there,¡± I answered.

    ¡°I see. Well, now that I¡¯ve caught up a bit, I¡¯d like to know how your foster daughter is¡ª that¡¯s the point of this meeting, right?¡±

    Davis and I glanced at each other, unsure where to start. ¡°Okay, um¡­ it was sort of my idea, so I¡¯ll go,¡± I said. The pastor leaned forward, listening carefully. I gripped my pants as I started telling him the story from the beginning. ¡°We¡¯ve been getting better recently¡­ but there¡¯s been a lot of problems with our family, especially since Diana came. The boys have gotten along with her, thank God, but¡­ there¡¯s a lot of things we can¡¯t ignore. There¡¯s tension, you know? Christmas is coming up, it¡¯s our first Christmas without Amy, and with Diana there, we don¡¯t want to make her feel¡­¡±

    ¡°Awkward,¡± Davis finished for me.

    I nodded. ¡°It¡¯s still a bit uncomfortable.¡±

    ¡°Have you talked to her about Amy?¡± Donovan asked.

    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯ve told her stories, showed her pictures,¡± said Davis. ¡°We took her to see her and Julia¡¯s graves. We¡¯ve been more open about it. But there¡¯s still that¡­ feeling.¡±

    ¡°Thing is, we¡­ the reason we decided¡ª I decided¡ª to foster her was because she looked like Amy.¡±

    I told him everything, with support from my husband. How I immediately decided to look into foster care and adoption, how I ignored my sons¡¯ feelings, how I ignored Davis¡¯s advice against it, finding Diana on the site, deciding to foster her, and everything that happened since her arrival. By the time I finished, there was only a couple of hours left before the service. It was getting dark outside. I wiped tears with a handkerchief, overcome by emotion during the story.

    Donovan had a serious look on his face, as I expected. He studied us for a while before finally answering. ¡°So far, you¡¯ve improved the situation, I see. She¡¯s not in school anymore. She¡¯s built a relationship with your sons. You¡¯ve helped her feel like a part of the family.¡± He paused. ¡°But what have you done for the boys?¡±

    We looked at each other. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve been focusing on improving Diana¡¯s situation, and that¡¯s good. That¡¯s very good. But¡ª again¡ª you¡¯ve neglected your sons. That¡¯s why Jack didn¡¯t tell you he was interested in a fraternity. That¡¯s why Tommy and Harry were hiding all the bullying at school. They don¡¯t trust you to listen to them anymore. You¡¯re always holed up in your room, working. You¡¯re not there for them. Dinner conversations aren¡¯t enough to get to know your kids. Have you asked them how they¡¯ve felt about Diana? How they¡¯re coping with Amy¡¯s passing? Have you reassured them that your love for them and Diana is equal?¡±

    Silence. I never realized we weren¡¯t doing much for the boys. They never wanted to talk to us¡­ I thought that if we let them be, it would be better. I didn¡¯t want to insist on talking to them if they didn¡¯t want to.

    ¡°I understand both of you are grieving,¡± Donovan continued. ¡°But remember that your sons are still grieving, too, and Diana deals with guilt about Amy, and their likeness, and the situation you pushed her into.¡±

    We were silent again. This was exactly what we feared, but knew we deserved. We knew we were wrong, but we couldn¡¯t see exactly what for ourselves. Someone needed to tell us.

    ¡°Now, to know what Diana really feels about all this, I¡¯d have to talk to her myself, but from what I understand about the situation, she has a guilt complex. She blames herself for everything whether it¡¯s her fault or not. As far as she¡¯s concerned, everyone is blameless except for her. Most likely, she developed that after the years of abuse she endured.¡±

    Guilt overtook me, the word itself bringing about the feeling. He was right. We weren¡¯t paying enough attention to our kids or Diana. We were terrible parents.

    We failed¡­ again. We failed Amy, and we failed our sons twice, and now Diana. Why did God let me be a mother if I was so stupid?

    ¡°Both of you are good people. But you¡¯ve distanced yourselves from God and let grief and regret control you. Amy was your daughter, but she¡¯s gone. She¡¯s gone home. You have to face life without her. Now¡­ I know Diana is probably here for a reason. God works around our free will and adjusts our paths. Sometimes he lets us bear the brunt of the consequences of our decisions, to teach us a lesson. But once we swallow our pride and admit, ¡®You were right, I was wrong, please help me¡¯, he does it. You need to talk to him.¡±

    ¡°I feel like we have been really distant from God lately. Prayer¡¯s become routine now.¡± Davis looked at his hands. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I guess¡­ I felt angry. My baby¡¯s gone.¡± His voice wavered and tears pricked at his eyes. ¡°I just don¡¯t understand why it had to be this way, and I asked him, and I still don¡¯t know why. It¡¯s not fair.¡±

    ¡°Sometimes I feel like it¡¯s a punishment,¡± I said. ¡°We favored Amy over all our kids without fully realizing it. Whenever they had a fight, we took her side, even if she was the one who was wrong. It was our fault their sibling rivalry got so bad in the first place. I thought¡­ maybe he took her away from me because I didn¡¯t deserve such a perfect girl.¡± I sniffled, wiping my eyes. ¡°Then Diana came¡­ I thought I¡¯d have a second chance. And I did. And I screwed that up, too.¡±

    ¡°We did, Susan.¡±

    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°You told me not to do this.¡±

    ¡°But I followed it anyway.¡±

    ¡°All of you have a lot of things to hash out,¡± said Pastor Donovan. ¡°There¡¯s not much I can do except give you advice and pray for you. My advice is to, not only get closer to God, but improve your relationships as a family. I know work can get in the way, but I know you two. You¡¯ve always been workaholics, even worse after the pandemic. You need to make time for your family, and as a family, you need to get closer to God. I know your boys are good eggs, and they¡¯ll be more open to it. I don¡¯t know Diana, or what she¡¯s been through, so we all know we can¡¯t force her into a relationship with God. But you can at least try.¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Yeah, we will. You¡¯re right. We haven¡¯t¡­ been doing enough.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Christmas. Pretty good time to start. I know you need to provide for your family, but you can make time. This is the time.¡±

    ~~~

    Kyle

    ¡°Merry Christmas, babe,¡± I said on the phone.

    ¡°Merry Christmas, my love,¡± Nicole answered. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­ bit depressed, to be honest.¡±

    ¡°I miss her, too.¡±

    ¡°You guys still at RiversLand?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. We¡¯re going to see the fireworks in a few,¡± she said. ¡°Are you guys going out?¡±

    I shook my head, lying on my bed. ¡°No. We¡¯re going to see our family tomorrow, but we¡¯re not sure if Diana wants to go yet. She said she¡¯d think about it. If not, we¡¯ll drop her off at her friend¡¯s house.¡±

    ¡°She got herself some good friends, didn¡¯t she?¡±

    ¡°Thank God, yes.¡±

    I heard a pop on the other line. ¡°Ooh! They started! I¡¯ll talk to you tomorrow, babe.¡±

    ¡°Okay. Love you.¡±

    ¡°Merry Christmas, love you!¡± She hung up.

    I stared at my pants. Downstairs, Mom and Dad were cooking the turkey with Diana. Jack was bringing the tree up from the basement with Tommy and Harry¡¯s help. I was supposed to bring up the presents, which were hidden under a tarp, but I couldn¡¯t leave my room.

    It was unbelievable that Amy wasn¡¯t here. She loved Christmas. She would sing carols all day until we got sick of them. She would shake her presents and sneak-eat cookies, downing eggnog like there was no tomorrow.

    When we were little, she loved Santa. I stopped believing pretty early, around 6 years old, and the other guys grew out of the belief around 7 or 8. Amy stayed a Santa Claus fan until she was 9. Being 13 at the time, going through puberty, I was a huge jerk to her by making fun of her in front of our friends and dressing up as a ¡®monster¡¯ Santa Claus to scare her.

    The memory made me chuckle a bit, but guilt reigned more than nostalgia did. It also made me think of Diana. This was probably her first ¡®normal¡¯ Christmas since her parents died, and she probably didn¡¯t remember her Christmases with them.

    What did the other foster families make her go through during these times? Did she ever get to enjoy little things like believing in Santa when she was a kid? Did she ever leave cookies and milk out and try to stake out the chimney to see if he¡¯d come?

    I took a deep, shuddering breath, looking up at the ceiling. ¡°God¡­ I¡­¡± Tears were already falling. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡­ I haven¡¯t talked to you in¡­ so long.¡± I sniffled. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ve been so selfish, and ignorant, and¡­ inconsiderate. I¡¯ve been insensitive. I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re doing, or why all of this is happening. I¡¯ve always been taught that everything happens for a reason, that you have a plan for everything, but sometimes¡­ sometimes I don¡¯t get your plan. Why did you¡­?¡± Anger rose within me. My door was closed, so I let myself stand up, pacing around my room.

    ¡°I get that I wasn¡¯t the best brother or son I should¡¯ve been, but this is just too much, Lord! Taking away my sister, bringing Diana to us, making us go through¡­ all this. Why did Diana have to go through everything she went through in the first place? Why did you take away her parents? She was four years old¡ª why would you do that? I don¡¯t get it! I¡¯m sorry for the way I treated her when she came. I am. But everything¡­ you have to understand. You¡¯re supposed to understand! I don¡¯t get it, Lord.¡±

    I took a breath. I didn¡¯t want to get too riled up right before I¡¯d spend time with my family. A bad mood would ruin everything.

    ¡°I want to believe. I want to trust you. But this has been so hard¡­ and I don¡¯t think I¡¯m strong enough for this. You can¡¯t expect me to just¡­ accept that ¡®the Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away¡¯. I just can¡¯t. I need a reason. Please tell me¡­ please.¡± I hadn¡¯t realized I¡¯d fallen on my knees, my forehead touching the floor. ¡°I¡¯m begging you¡­ I¡¯ll do anything. I¡¯ll change. Just make it stop¡­ please.¡±

    After long moments of crying, curled up on my bedroom floor, I suddenly felt this¡­ calm. My tears soon stopped completely. For some reason, I suddenly felt¡­ excited to spend Christmas with Diana. I was still sad about Amy, but there was a certain peace that came with it. I wasn¡¯t sure what this was, but I preferred it over the anguish I¡¯d felt for weeks.

    I went to the bathroom to wash my face, then went downstairs. Jack, Tom, and Harry had just finished steadying the tree. The boxes holding the ornaments, lights, and train were placed around the living room. Lonnie was patiently sitting in his bed in the corner.

    ¡°Thanks for helping us,¡± Jack said sarcastically.

    ¡°Sorry. I was just¡­ you know.¡±

    ¡°You okay?¡± Harry asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I sniffed the air, humming. ¡°That smells incredible.¡±

    Jack groaned. ¡°I¡¯m hungry, man. Mom, is it re-¡±

    ¡°NO!¡± all three shouted from the kitchen. We laughed at Jack as he quieted, a peeved look on his face.

    ¡°Set up the music and start on the train! We¡¯ll be done by then,¡± said Mom.

    Harry put on a Christmas carol playlist on TV while I opened the familiar box, sighing. Amy loved the train. When we were kids, she¡¯d always imitate the train and run around, shoving one of us every time she passed us. It used to annoy the life out of me, but now, I wished it could happen again.

    We took out all the train tracks and looked at the space around the tree. ¡°Small circle?¡± Jack asked.

    ¡°No, an oval,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°It¡¯s a circle. We always did a circle.¡±

    ¡°Since when?¡±

    ¡°Since forever!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s a circle,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure it¡¯s an oval,¡± I countered.

    ¡°It¡¯s a circle. We always put the presents around the train,¡± Jack argued.

    ¡°No, we do an oval and put the presents inside,¡± said Harry. ¡°We can¡¯t see the train if there¡¯s presents around.¡±

    ¡°Then how come I remember a circle?¡±

    ¡°¡®Cause you¡¯re a dumb-butt.¡±

    Jack punched at him, but he dodged in time. ¡°I¡¯m not a dumb-butt.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an oval. It¡¯s always been an oval.¡±

    ¡°Circle.¡±

    ¡°Oval.¡±

    ¡°Circle,¡± Jack and Tommy said.

    ¡°Oval!¡± I said with Harry.

    ¡°Boys!¡± Dad said from the kitchen. He walked up to us, wearing a frilly, pink apron with ¡®Cutie Cook¡¯ stitched in purple. Little cupcakes flanked the words with cute faces, holding spatulas. ¡°What¡¯s the problem?¡±

    Without a word, all of us burst out laughing at his apron. He looked confused at first, but soon realized and rolled his eyes. ¡°Your mom¡¯s early Christmas present,¡± he said. ¡°She made me wear it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s adorable!¡± Mom shouted from the kitchen. I heard Diana laugh.

    ¡°Can I help the boys instead?¡± Dad asked childishly.

    ¡°Okay, but if I call you, you¡¯re coming straight here.¡±

    Dad shook his head, taking off the apron. ¡°I¡¯m 48 years old,¡± he muttered.

    ¡°And leave the apron on!¡±

    We laughed while Dad groaned. ¡°Susan!¡±

    ¡°Okay, okay. You can take it off.¡±

    Dad folded it and placed it on the sofa, then bent over and took some train tracks. ¡°Alright. We¡¯ll need a lot of the straight tracks; it¡¯s an oval.¡±

    ¡°HA! Told ya!¡± Harry pushed Jack.

    ¡°It¡¯s always been an oval.¡±

    ¡°Dad, I was sure it was a circle.¡±

    ¡°It hasn¡¯t been a circle in 10 years.¡±

    Harry and I high-fived while Jack and Tommy sulked.

    Once the train tracks were set up, Mom and Diana came out with Christmas dinner. We said a grateful prayer and ate heartily. All the tension that used to surround us during dinner was gone. Joy somehow filled the room, putting irremovable smiles on our faces. Lonnie made it better with his dog-smile. Sometimes, I wondered how his tongue didn¡¯t feel dry after constantly hanging out of his mouth.

    ¡°Can I¡­ ask something?¡± Diana said as we ate.

    ¡°Go ahead.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ what did¡­ Amy usually do on Christmas?¡±

    There was a short pause¡ª it wasn¡¯t awkward, rather, it was all of us picking a memory to tell her about.

    ¡°A lot of things,¡± said Dad. ¡°She got really hyper on Christmas.¡±

    ¡°She would run around, push us, sing carols¡­ most of the time, she¡¯d sing them in our ears, loud,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°She loved to bother you.¡± Mom pointed at us with her fork.

    Harry spoke, but his mouth was too full. We groaned in disgust. ¡°Swallow, bruh! Geez.¡±

    ¡°Harry, don¡¯t talk with your mouth full.¡±

    He swallowed, sticking his tongue out at us. ¡°She bothered us less when we were kids because she believed in Santa Claus, so she would try to be nice. After she stopped, though¡­ God, she was annoying. Cute, but annoying.¡±

    Tommy shook his head. ¡°Nah, she still bothered us¡ª after Santa would ¡®bring the presents¡¯. When she woke up Christmas morning, she¡¯d go to each of our rooms and scream us awake. Remember?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s so mean,¡± Diana laughed. ¡°What did you guys do?¡±

    ¡°We chased her. And if we caught her, we¡¯d throw her in the pool in her PJ¡¯s.¡±

    Her jaw dropped. ¡°That¡¯s mean!¡±

    ¡°Hey, she started it.¡±

    ¡°Mom and Dad made us stop, though,¡± Harry sulked.

    ¡°It was freezing out there. You guys almost gave her pneumonia,¡± said Mom.

    ¡°She never stopped screaming at us, though.¡±

    ¡°That was something she wouldn¡¯t stop, even when we hollered at her,¡± said Dad.

    ¡°What else would you guys do?¡± Diana asked. I thanked her for the timing; resentful thoughts towards my parents were already building up. I tried to keep them away, focusing on the happy times.

    ¡°Sing carols on the piano, watch movies, the usual. We had a¡­ prayer time, too,¡± said Dad. ¡°And when the kids were younger, they¡¯d do their own play about Jesus with the rest of the family.¡±

    ¡°That was, like, twice. It was cringe,¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°No, it wasn¡¯t!¡± Mom lightly smacked his arm. ¡°It was adorable.¡±

    ¡°Are you guys okay if we still have our prayer time here?¡± Dad asked.

    We looked at each other, shrugging. ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± Jack said sincerely.

    ¡°What about you, Di?¡± I asked. ¡°You don¡¯t have to if you don¡¯t want to.¡±

    She looked at us, unsure, then smiled. ¡°Okay. I¡¯m up to it.¡±

 34~ Direction

    Diana

    Christmas Eve was like nothing I¡¯d experienced before.

    The only ¡®good¡¯ Christmas I had was with the Thomases, when I went to that private school. Winter break was my favorite time with them. I didn¡¯t have to worry about school for just a little while.

    I remembered how confused and surprised I was when they gave me Christmas gifts; a few Barbie dolls, new clothes, candy, new diaries, and a new smartphone¡ª the recently released iPhone XS. My Barbie dolls were destroyed when I was sent to the group home, my clothes ruined, and my phone stolen. All I managed to protect were my diaries, which were all dirtied up and ripped apart.

    Even then, I felt like an intruder. Like an extra person in the room. Receiving gifts made me feel guilty. They were very rich, but I still felt bad that they spent money on me, especially after everything that happened at school. Their kids were getting bullied because of me.

    But here, with the Fields, somehow I didn¡¯t feel the same. I actually felt like I belonged. It was weird, not feeling the usual guilt or awkwardness of being out of place in the family. Considering everything that happened, I was surprised at myself.

    Each family member gave me a present. Kyle bought me some new Bluetooth headphones from the store he worked at. Jack got me a new PS5 controller, a yellow one that matched my style. Tommy gave me a set of sci-fi novels I¡¯d been dying to read; the Starfleet Academy series, and Harry got me a smartwatch. It was perfect for when I went out jogging. Susan and Davis got me a bunch of new clothes for my wardrobe, from shirts to shoes, and a new collar for Lonnie.

    I did feel kind of embarrassed that I wasn¡¯t able to get great gifts for them. I made cards with poems of appreciation and got some clothes for all of them, but that was pretty much it. They reassured me that they loved my gifts, even saying I didn¡¯t have to, but the guilt still lingered a bit.

    I went to sleep in a joyous mood¡ª merry, even. I¡¯d never felt this happy before. Lonnie seemed to sense this, dancing around and chasing his tail before going to sleep.

    Now, on Christmas Day, was a bit of a challenge. We were going to have dinner with the family today, specifically Susan¡¯s side, the Dillons. Last year, they celebrated Christmas with Davis¡¯s side of the family. I¡¯d meet them next week for New Year¡¯s.

    I couldn¡¯t help the anxiety as we drove. They told me that they¡¯d talked to them about me and posted some pictures of us together after our snow day. But I wasn¡¯t looking forward to the guaranteed stares and possible discomfort between me and the other family members. I¡¯d only agreed to come because I figured I¡¯d have to meet them sooner or later.

    On top of that, Susan¡¯s side was notoriously huge. We were going to her brother-in-law, Rodney Wellingsly¡¯s family home. He was a well-off bookstore owner that married her sister, Caitlin, who died of stomach cancer a few years ago. They had ten children, two of which passed away, and some grandchildren.

    I was pretty nervous about meeting him. My brothers told me how much he loved Amy. They¡¯d assured me that the rest of our family knew my situation.

    Im really happy for u, Tony texted me in the car as we drove.

    Thanks, I said. Maybe we can hang out later on, after the holidays.

    that sounds good

    He then sent me a video. Once it loaded, I played it, instantly smiling. Addie signed, ¡°Hi, Diana, Merry Christmas. I miss you. Bye!¡±

    So cuuute, I said, tell her I miss her too!

    yk, mom and dad were asking if u were coming (nervous laughing emoji)

    Blood rushed to my cheeks. Really?

    Yea ig they really liked u

    they were worryed I wouldn¡¯t have that many friends when we moved here

    Why? You¡¯re good at making friends, I replied.

    (shrugging emoji) idk. ig bc i didnt have a lot of friends in NY

    ¡°Who are you talking to?¡± Kyle asked.

    ¡°No one.¡±

    He leaned over. I leaned away, frowning at him. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Is that Tony?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Yeah, so?¡±

    ¡°Then why¡¯d you say, ¡®no one¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Because it¡¯s nunya business, jerk.¡±

    ¡°Hey, no name-calling back there,¡± said Davis.

    ¡°He started it,¡± I said.

    ¡°I just wanted to see who she was talking to.¡±

    Susan shook her head. ¡°Kyle, let her text who she wants.¡±

    ¡°Who was she talking to?¡± Davis asked. His wife slapped his arm.

    ¡°To Tony,¡± Tommy said teasingly.

    Harry grinned. ¡°Probably sad he didn¡¯t get her as a Christmas date.¡±

    ¡°Shut up,¡± I said.

    ¡°Maybe he wanted to come and meet the family,¡± said Jack. ¡°¡®I¡¯m Tony, her future boyfriend!¡¯¡±

    The boys laughed. Peeved, I pinched Harry¡¯s ear, kicked Tommy¡¯s ankle, and reached over to poke Jack¡¯s cheek. With Kyle, I pulled a lock of his hair. All of them groaned or said, ¡°Hey!¡±, leaning away from me.

    ¡°Who else is coming?¡± I asked, changing the subject.

    ¡°Um¡­ there¡¯s Uncle Rodney, then our cousins, and our second cousins, and our other uncles and aunts and cousins¡­¡± Harry counted them on his fingers.

    ¡°That many?¡±

    ¡°Just about 15. Not everyone is coming,¡± said Susan.

    ¡°15? How big is this family?!¡±

    ¡°So big that half of us don¡¯t even talk to each other,¡± Jack muttered, making the others laugh. Susan fixed them with a glare and they instantly shut up. He shrugged. ¡°Just saying. We¡¯re a lot.¡±

    We soon arrived at the house. It was quite big; not as big as the frat house I went to a few days ago, but enough for a large family. There were many other cars parked around, the moonlight glistening off the windshields.

    The house was decorated ostentatiously. Inflatable snowmen, trees, and reindeer dotted the large lawn. Two Santa Claus inflatables flanked the pathway leading to the house. One of them suddenly played music, making me jump and let out a little yell.

    ¡°Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!¡±

    The other one did the same right after. I stared at the two Santas, giving Kyle an inquisitive look. He shook his head and gently pushed me to keep walking. ¡°Don¡¯t ask.¡±

    We reached the porch, dusting the snow off our shoes, and Davis rang the doorbell. After a few moments, the door opened to reveal a middle-aged man. He was slightly overweight and had thick red hair with red stubble growing on his round face.

    The minute I saw him, a warm feeling registered in my stomach. His joyful smile was all I needed to know that I would like him.

    ¡°Merry Christmas! Long time no see!¡± He hugged my parents and brothers, always wearing a smile. His expression faltered for just a second when he noticed me, probably shocked. I swallowed, lowering my eyes.

    ¡°This must be Diana,¡± he said, his smile returning. His voice was light, but warm, and it made me smile more. I nodded shyly.

    He gave me a tight hug. ¡°Welcome to the family, sweetheart.¡± He pulled away and looked at me up and down, holding me by my shoulders. ¡°It¡¯s uncanny! They could be twins!¡± He sighed melancholically. ¡°Caitlin would¡¯ve loved you.¡± He noticed Lonnie and crouched. ¡°And this is Lonnie, right?¡± He reached out to pet him, but stopped. ¡°Ooh, forgot. He¡¯s a cute boy!¡±

    The warmth in my stomach grew, my heart swelling.

    We went inside, where most of the family had already arrived. Three people our age were gathered in the living room with some children. The older adults were in the dining room or the kitchen.

    ¡°There they are!¡± A pregnant woman and her husband approached, hugging us. Thankfully, they didn¡¯t seem too off-put at my arrival. The woman, with long ginger hair and freckles, introduced herself as Ellen and her husband as Mark, Susan¡¯s older brother.

    Susan¡¯s mom was also present; her dad passed away ten years ago from a heart attack. The boys called her Gammy. She was a very sweet old lady who right away commented on how cute I was, pinching my cheek. ¡°Just like Amy. So beautiful.¡± She stopped. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, dear, that doesn¡¯t make you feel uncomfortable, right?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I told her.

    She smiled again. ¡°You¡¯re so sweet. She¡¯s so sweet, Susan.¡± She started talking to my foster parents.

    ¡°You want to meet our cousins?¡± Kyle asked me.

    ¡°Y-yeah, sure,¡± I said nervously. Meeting people my age gave me more anxiety somehow.

    The boys led me to the open living room. Three teenagers and five children, from maybe 5 to 10 years old, were playing on the carpet and watching TV. They hadn¡¯t noticed us yet.

    ¡°Hey, guys,¡± said Kyle.

    They turned, smiling instantly, and came forward to greet them. I hid behind Harry, still a bit nervous. Lonnie flashed me his usual dog smile, giving me some comfort.

    ¡°So¡­ where is she?¡± I heard a girl say.

    ¡°She¡¯s-¡± Jack stopped and chuckled. ¡°Come on, Di. Don¡¯t be shy.¡±

    I peeked out and faced their cousins. Their smiles faded into shocked silence as they stared at me. I waved shyly.

    ¡°I saw the pictures, but¡­ dang,¡± said one of the girls. She had short brown hair in a bob and chocolate eyes. She approached me with a smile. ¡°Diana, right? I¡¯m Sonya. My dad¡¯s Rodney. And this is my brother Kurt.¡± She motioned to the boy behind her, who resembled her, except his eyes were more hazel in color. He seemed a bit more nervous, waving at me without saying anything.

    ¡°I¡¯m Katie,¡± the other girl said, sporting ginger red hair and light freckles on her face. ¡°I¡¯m Ellen and Mark¡¯s daughter. Did you meet them? My mom¡¯s pregnant.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I met them. They¡¯re really nice,¡± I said to them.

    ¡°Aww, you have a puppy! What¡¯s his name again?¡± Katie leaned on her knees, smiling at Lonnie.

    ¡°Lonnie,¡± I answered her.

    ¡°I can¡¯t pet him, right?¡±

    ¡°You can right now, with my permission.¡± I crouched and scratched his ears. My anxiety was fading away with the cousins¡¯ friendliness, but I was still cautious. There was a chance their attitudes would change.

    Hesitantly, Katie approached and touched Lonnie¡¯s head. She then pet him a bit more, gaining confidence. Lonnie relished in the attention.

    ¡°He¡¯s adorable!¡± Sonya said, also petting him.

    One of the kids ran over in tears. He was maybe 7, with red hair like Katie¡¯s. ¡°Katie! Lissa hit me!¡±

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t!¡± A little brunette girl ran over. ¡°He hit himself! He¡¯s such a liar!¡±

    ¡°Guys, if you keep fighting, Santa¡¯s not coming, remember?¡±

    They gasped, covering their mouths. The little girl looked at me and gawked for a few seconds. ¡°Is that Dana?¡± She pointed at me.

    ¡°Diana,¡± Kyle corrected.

    ¡°She¡¯s like Amy¡¯s angel.¡±

    I smiled, touched. ¡°That¡¯s so sweet. Thank you.¡±

    The little boy, on the other hand, started crying and ran away. Jack shook his head. ¡°He was really close to Amy. He might get emotional around you. Don¡¯t feel bad.¡±

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    ¡°He¡¯s a crybaby,¡± the little girl said.

    ¡°Melissa, Santa doesn¡¯t like when you call people crybabies,¡± Katie scolded her.

    Melissa gasped. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± She waved at me and ran back in the living room.

    ¡°They¡¯re so cute,¡± I said honestly.

    ¡°Melissa¡¯s my little sister and Jeffrey¡¯s my first cousin. There¡¯s a lot of us.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, no kidding.¡±

    ¡°Hey, guys!¡± A man came over, around Kyle¡¯s age, sharing Rodney¡¯s red hair and slight chubbiness. He greeted all the boys warmly. ¡°This must be Diana,¡± he said smilingly. ¡°I¡¯m Robert, Sonya and Kurt¡¯s brother.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re forgetting me, butthead.¡± A girl shoved him lightly as she approached. She had blond hair and was a bit heavier than Robert. ¡°I¡¯m Anita.¡± She hugged me briefly. ¡°You¡¯re so pretty! Not just because you look like Amy, but you¡¯re pretty. There¡¯s differences.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said, blushing.

    She gasped. ¡°Oh-my-God, it¡¯s a doggy!¡± She reached out to pet him.

    ¡°You can¡¯t pet him,¡± said Sonya.

    Her face fell. ¡°Why?¡± she said sadly.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I¡¯ll let her,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s Lonnie, my service dog.¡± I pointed at the ¡®DO NOT PET¡¯ on his jacket.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry.¡± She stepped back. ¡°It¡¯s okay, you don¡¯t have to-¡±

    ¡°No, you can pet him. Just a bit.¡±

    She scratched his head and smiled. ¡°He¡¯s so cute.¡±

    ¡°Kurt, you good?¡± Jack asked. We all looked at the guy, who was pale as a ghost. His eyes were glassy.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± He smiled unconvincingly and swallowed.

    ¡°You sure?¡± Sonya asked.

    ¡°Yeah, yeah¡­ I¡¯m just going to the bathroom. Be right back.¡± He rushed off. I played with Lonnie¡¯s leash, knowing full well he probably wasn¡¯t reacting well to¡­ me.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about him,¡± said his sister.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine. I¡¯m used to it.¡± I quickly backtracked. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean it that way- sorry-¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good. He was just¡­ Amy¡¯s death really affected him. He¡¯s been struggling with depression ever since.¡±

    ¡°They were close, I bet.¡±

    They all looked at each other. ¡°You could say that¡­¡±

    ¡°Come on, sit down,¡± said Anita. ¡°We can have a better conversation.¡±

    I got along pretty well with the cousins. They asked a lot about me, what I liked, what I was doing now. I wasn¡¯t too open, of course, but I did mention my uncle and aunt¡ª I didn¡¯t tell them they were on parole, though. They seemed hopeful that I would stay with the Fields until I aged out. All of them were very kind.

    While Kurt was in the ¡®bathroom¡¯, they told me that he and Amy didn¡¯t get along at all, since he would love to tease and prank her. Her death instilled a lot of guilt and regret. I didn¡¯t get a lot of details before he came back, a bit more composed, and started talking to me. He, too, was very kind.

    We soon went to the table for Christmas dinner together. The boys¡¯ grandma, Rodney, Susan, Davis, and Mark were all getting the meal ready. I sat with the boys. The five little kids sat at a separate table with Sonya and Kurt. In all, we were over 20; a lot of people. To think there were more family members that didn¡¯t show up was astounding.

    Jack was sitting next to me, texting, his phone hidden under the table. From my angle, I could read his chat. He was talking to someone from college.

    Justinnnn7808: i get it if ur not interested anymore, but think about it. not all of us r the same promise

    sigma tau has good guys, it just gets problematic

    they were mostly just joking

    jackomattern: none of that was a joke bro. I can tell the diference

    even if u wanted to ¡®joke¡¯, it wasnt funny. It was gross and sick. shes literally 16 yo and jokes like that arent funny at all. i thought u guys were helping a nobel cause, but ive seen enouf

    im not interested so just focus on ur pervs and leave me alone

    ¡°Whoa. What happened?¡± I commented.

    He jumped, glaring at me. ¡°Nunya business,¡± he mimicked me.

    ¡°Oh, come on. I wanna know.¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the frat thing, right?¡±

    ¡°Shut up,¡± he whispered, paranoidly glancing around.

    ¡°Then tell me,¡± I whispered back.

    ¡°Wait.¡± He blocked the guy he was talking to and went to a different chat.

    nevadareno4844: yo its cool man, glad your sis is ok

    hey if your interested in rushing theta, lmk. Im recruitment pres this semester

    i get it if u got turned off, but youll always have a place in theta

    thanks man, Jack replied. Merry Christmas

    merry Christmas

    ¡°So? What was that about?¡± I asked.

    He sighed, glaring at me.

    ¡°Please?¡± I gave him my best puppy-eye look, trying to look like Lonnie. I didn¡¯t expect it to work, but his face suddenly softened.

    ¡°Okay,¡± he said. ¡°Remember the frat party?¡±

    ¡°Duh.¡±

    ¡°Well, one of them found out we were related,¡± he continued. ¡°So at first, I thought they were going to press charges or something, but he seemed cool with it, and he even added me to a group chat with his other brothers. I thought it was all good. Then¡­ they started making jokes. I sent a voice, said it wasn¡¯t cool, and they all made fun of me and started making really¡­ sick jokes about women in general. They even mentioned Amelia.¡±

    ¡°They know her?¡±

    ¡°No, but they knew I had a girlfriend, so they started making jokes about her. So I got out of the group chat, and the guy texted me saying they were just joking, and that I could still rush, whatever. And that¡¯s what you saw.¡± He gave me a look. ¡°Don¡¯t tell anyone. Seriously.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah. And what about that other guy?¡±

    ¡°Oh, he¡¯s the guy that followed you guys when you were passed out,¡± he said. ¡°He¡¯s pretty cool. He asked if we were doing okay, and I told him what happened. He¡¯s from Theta Epsilon Psi.¡±

    ¡°You gonna join them?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± He paused. ¡°I don¡¯t think a frat is right for me. At first, it seemed awesome, but now¡­ I don¡¯t think it¡¯s what I want anymore. I should just stick to the football team.¡±

    ¡°At least you made friends,¡± I pointed out.

    ¡°Yeah, at least that. Sam said he¡¯s gonna drop, too. He was in the group chat and he got ticked off, so he said he didn¡¯t want to be in the frat anymore.¡±

    ¡°Sam¡¯s a nice guy,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s good for him. So he wasn¡¯t like the other frat guys when he was drunk?¡±

    Jack chuckled. ¡°The guy¡¯s a puppy. Like Lonnie.¡±

    We looked down at said dog, who smiled up at us curiously. What? Did I drool again? I imagined him wondering.

    ¡°He gets all teary and talks about how much he loves everyone,¡± Jack continued. ¡°The other guys were fighting with the girls there. Even if he was drop-dead drunk, Sam would never treat a girl like they did.¡±

    ¡°I guess I got lucky that nothing happened¡­¡± I realized.

    ¡°I think some of them got intimidated because of how well you held your liquor. I couldn¡¯t drink that much and live,¡± he said.

    I shrugged. ¡°My first taste of beer was when I was eight.¡±

    His smile disappeared. ¡°Seriously?¡±

    ¡°Stuff happens.¡±

    His hand found mine, his thumb rubbing my knuckles comfortingly. I squeezed reassuringly.

    ¡°Finally!¡± someone said. Everyone in the kitchen came out with the turkey and the rest of the food. Once they set the table, everyone held hands for the prayer.

    Rodney stood to lead. ¡°Thank you, Lord Jesus, for letting our family come together again to celebrate your sacrifice. Thank you for the wonderful dinner we have in front of us, and please provide for those that live without food, or a family. Give them comfort, joy, and peace. We thank you for all your blessings, and for letting another beautiful daughter of yours be able to join our family today.¡± I smiled, feeling eyes turn to me. ¡°With your love, we pray for another prosperous year. Amen.¡±

    ¡°Amen.¡±

    He smiled at us. ¡°Merry Christmas, everyone,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m so glad all of us could be together again, and if Caitlin and our youngest sons were here, I know they¡¯d be smiling bright. Especially my wife; her smile was bright enough to light up the house.¡± He took his wine glass and looked over at me. ¡°I want to properly welcome our new family member, Diana, who¡¯s become a part of the Field-Dillon family. I¡¯m glad she could join us today. And in memory of our beautiful Amy¡­ let¡¯s make a toast to celebrate her memory and keep it alive for the rest of our days. To family, to Amy, and to Diana. Cheers.¡±

    ¡°Cheers.¡± We raised our wine and grape juice glasses, clinking them together.

    ~~~

    Harry

    December 27<sup>th</sup>, 2023

    My fingers hovered over my phone screen, my eyes fixed on Mildred¡¯s name. I gulped and my hands turned clammy. My stomach was flipping like an eggbeater whisk.

    With a deep breath, I tapped on her number and put the phone to my ear. I hoped she was free. This was probably my only chance; if she didn¡¯t answer now, I¡¯d be too chicken to try again later.

    ¡°Hey, Harry,¡± she answered.

    ¡°H-hi!¡± I squeaked out, clearing my throat. ¡°How¡¯d your, uh¡­ Christmas go?¡± I started pacing around nervously.

    ¡°It was fun,¡± she said. ¡°I got this adorable skirt I always wanted. And a cute necklace. I¡¯mma show it off at school when we get back. What about you? Di told me she had a great time with your family.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she got along really well with all of them. Especially our cousins.¡±

    ¡°Aw, that¡¯s great.¡±

    ¡°Listen, um¡­¡± Just say it. ¡°I-I was wondering if, um¡­ you wanted to¡­ if you were free¡­ sometime this week? Before New Year¡¯s?¡±

    ¡°Uh, I¡¯m not sure,¡± she said. ¡°Why? You wanted to hang out or something?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±

    ¡°Sure. Is Di coming?¡±

    ¡°Uh- no, what I mean is¡­¡± I swallowed, my throat drying up faster than normal. ¡°Just¡­ you and me.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ you sure? People might think we¡¯re going out,¡± she laughed.

    ¡°Y-yeah, uh¡­ um¡­ yeah. I was thinking we¡­ could?¡±

    Silence. My stomach immediately dropped and I sat down on my bed.

    ¡°Harry¡­ are you asking me out?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I choked out. ¡°I just¡­ you¡¯re really cool, and¡­ yeah.¡±

    ¡°Harry¡­¡± Her tone wasn¡¯t the one I hoped for. ¡°Harry, I-¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I cut her off. ¡°Y-you don¡¯t have to feel bad. I¡¯m sorry. I was too¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I get it.¡±

    ¡°No, no¡­ Harry.¡± She sighed. ¡°Harry, you¡¯re a great guy. I like you, a lot. But¡­ not the way you want me to.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Don¡¯t feel bad.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Harry¡­ I¡¯d love to hang out, but just as friends. I¡¯m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, or led you on, or-¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t,¡± I assured her. ¡°I was just¡­ I just liked you that way. You didn¡¯t do anything to lead me on. I figured maybe you didn¡¯t feel the same way, but it was worth a shot, right?¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m proud of you for taking that shot. It¡¯s a hard thing to do. I¡¯m so sorry I had to let you down like this. I didn¡¯t want to hurt you.¡±

    ¡°Trust me, Mill, it¡¯s alright. I understand. We can stay friends, like always. No big deal.¡±

    She paused. ¡°You are a cutie pie, though.¡±

    I laughed, my face heating up. She really thought I was cute? That was something, at least. ¡°Thanks,¡± I said modestly.

    ¡°You are. I¡¯m surprised you¡¯re not taken. You¡¯re an amazing guy, Harry. You¡¯re going to find a girl that loves you as much as you love her. You¡¯ll see. She¡¯ll be perfect for you.¡±

    Her sweet words warmed my heart, but the pain was still there. ¡°Thank you, Mildred. I needed that.¡±

    ¡°And make sure she ain¡¯t like your brother¡¯s ex.¡±

    I laughed once again. ¡°Heck, no.¡±

    ¡°She moved, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Weirdo. Well. One less problem without her.¡± She hesitated. ¡°You gonna be okay?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be fine. I¡¯m just glad we can be friends.¡±

    ¡°Sure. You know it. I¡¯ll see you, Harry.¡±

    ¡°See you.¡±

    The minute she hung up, tears leaked out. I didn¡¯t expect it to hurt this much. Part of me knew she probably only saw me as a friend, but I stubbornly ignored the thought, holding on to that false hope. Every smile and sweet word she gave me was a ¡®hint¡¯ or maybe a ¡®signal¡¯ that just maybe she liked me back.

    Tommy entered. ¡°Hey, sorry, I just-¡± He stopped. ¡°What happened?¡±

    I shook my head, hiding my face as I lied down. I didn¡¯t want to face the ¡®single pringle¡¯ jokes right now.

    ¡°Hey¡­¡± He sat down next to me, his hand on my shoulder. ¡°Did you call her?¡±

    I sniffled. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ it¡¯s a no?¡±

    I nodded.

    ¡°Aw, I¡¯m sorry, Harry. That¡­ that hurts. I¡¯m sorry.¡± He rubbed my back comfortingly.

    ¡°The thing is, I knew she probably didn¡¯t like me back, and I still¡­ now things are gonna be all weird at school.¡±

    ¡°Nah, I don¡¯t think so. Mildred¡¯s really cool. This isn¡¯t that bad. She probably thought it was cute.¡±

    ¡°If by cute, you mean pathetic, then sure. She was just trying to be nice.¡±

    The door opened behind me. ¡°Hey, boys,¡± said Mom. ¡°Davis and I-¡± She stopped. ¡°Harry? What¡¯s the matter, baby?¡±

    ¡°Nothing.¡±

    ¡°He just called-¡±

    ¡°Shut up, Tom.¡± I punched at his chest. He only rolled his eyes, hardly impacted by the strike.

    ¡°Hey, no hitting.¡± Dad walked over and sat next to Tommy, dipping the bed further. ¡°Come on, Harry, what happened?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it.¡±

    After some silence, Mom said, ¡°Tommy, could you let us talk to your brother?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± He stood.

    ¡°And we were wondering if you guys wanted to let us play PS5 with you. We asked your brothers already. You can tell Diana to come down, too.¡±

    ¡°PS5? You guys? You want to play?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, why not?¡± said Dad. ¡°We played plenty of videogames when we were your age.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, on Nintendo 64,¡± Tommy said mockingly, though it was clear he was joking.

    ¡°Oh, like you can figure out our old games,¡± Mom challenged. ¡°If you can play on a Nintendo 64, we can play your PS5.¡±

    ¡°Challenge accepted.¡± Tommy left.

    Mom sat on the other side of the bed, her fingers stroking my hair. The feeling immediately brought comfort. ¡°What happened, sweetheart?¡± she asked.

    I sighed, wiping my tears. ¡°I asked Mildred out just now. I called her.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ she said she only likes you as a friend?¡± Dad guessed.

    ¡°Hence the crying.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Harry, that¡¯s not a big deal. That happens to almost everyone,¡± said Mom.

    ¡°It didn¡¯t happen to my brothers. No, they get the girls of their dreams.¡±

    ¡°What about Tommy?¡±

    ¡°Kyle and Jack got their dream girls, then. Amy had Rick. Diana has Tony.¡±

    ¡°Honey, did you ask her out because you liked her, or because you were jealous of your siblings?¡± Mom asked with a small chuckle.

    ¡°No, I really do like her.¡± I sat up. ¡°That¡¯s why I took the chance, got the guts to ask her. Because I figured, if they can do it, I can do it.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s good. You took the chance. She said no. It¡¯s fine. You¡¯re still friends, right?¡± Dad said reassuringly.

    ¡°Yeah, she says that, but I know it¡¯s going to be awkward when we¡¯re at school.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, it¡¯s normal to feel a bit awkward. But it¡¯ll stay awkward if you treat it that way. When you see her, act like nothing happened.¡±

    ¡°Well, no,¡± Mom disagreed. ¡°Not too casual. Then she¡¯ll be able to tell you¡¯re trying to play it off. The first day, you need to let some of that awkwardness linger so you can clear it up. Then you can make it clear that you¡¯re happy staying friends.¡±

    ¡°I just don¡¯t know if I can face her,¡± I sighed.

    ¡°Well, what did she say?¡±

    I relayed what she said to me during the call, including when she said I was a ¡®cutie pie¡¯. This made both of them chuckle.

    ¡°That¡¯s a good sign,¡± Mom said. ¡°If she felt¡­ creeped out, let¡¯s say, or weirded out in any way, she wouldn¡¯t have said that. She would¡¯ve been a bit colder. She cares a lot about you, Harry. She was honest and sweet. That¡¯s good.¡±

    ¡°She was just trying to be nice.¡±

    ¡°Trust me, when I had to reject a guy, I wasn¡¯t that nice.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯d you reject?¡± I cocked my head.

    Dad scoffed. ¡°Me.¡±

    ¡°You?¡± My jaw dropped. ¡°You guys never told us that!¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t? You sure?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± I laughed. ¡°Mom rejected you?¡±

    Dad sighed, blushing slightly. ¡°I met her at my second job in 1999. She was just about to graduate. I instantly had a crush on her. Just look at her.¡± He gave Mom an enamored look.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ okay, could you skim over the annoying parts?¡± I asked.

    Mom playfully smacked me up the head. ¡°Anyway¡­ he had a thing for me. At the time, I was concentrated on my job, not romance. He came to my cubicle with a bouquet of flowers.¡± She looked at Dad with the same adoration. ¡°And he asked me out¡­ and I felt terrible, but I said no, I wasn¡¯t ready for a relationship.¡± She flattened her hand over her chest. ¡°His little face. He looked like a sad little puppy.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t look like a puppy.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you did. So, I said no, and he waited a year, and¡­ I fell in love with him and decided to give him a chance. And we got married a year after that¡­ now it¡¯s been 22 years.¡±

    ¡°So quick?¡±

    ¡°When you find the one you love, you just can¡¯t wait,¡± Dad said. ¡°You know that¡¯s the one God sent you. You¡¯re ready to start your life with them. God just needed us to wait a bit.¡±

    ¡°Now¡­ don¡¯t expect this to happen with Mildred. I rejected other guys in high school, too,¡± Mom clarified.

    Dad shrugged. ¡°You¡¯re young, Harry. This is going to happen, and it¡¯s always going to hurt. When God decides to send you your woman, he will.¡±

    ¡°But how long?¡± I whined.

    ¡°How long? You¡¯re 17!¡± Mom clicked her tongue. ¡°You¡¯ll find another crush. You¡¯ll be a senior next year. Then there¡¯s college. You¡¯ll be able to date and get to know different women. Then you¡¯ll be ready when your true love comes. You¡¯ll tell the difference.¡±

    ¡°Not too many women, though.¡± Dad smiled. ¡°When you date someone, make it clear you don¡¯t want anything serious. Your career¡¯s always first. Just like your mom said to me that first time.¡±

    ¡°Even then, I got my Master¡¯s later than I was supposed to,¡± Mom added. ¡°I finished a year after Kyle was born. You don¡¯t want to do the same thing. It¡¯s hard.¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Yeah, I know.¡±

    ¡°Seriously. It can distract you. I would be staring at your mom instead of working.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t stare,¡± Mom warned me. ¡°You¡¯ll look like a creep.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t a creep. I just looked at you every now and then.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say you were a creep. I¡¯m just advising him. So sensitive.¡± Mom rolled her eyes at Dad.

    ¡°No, no, I¡¯m not gonna stare.¡± I smiled, now feeling better. ¡°You sure Mildred will still want to be friends with me?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s a sweet girl. You¡¯ll both bounce back. If she starts being weird about it, that¡¯s her problem.¡± Mom frowned. ¡°She¡¯ll lose an incredible friend if she starts being¡­ you know.¡±

    ¡°You feel better now?¡± Dad asked me.

    I nodded. ¡°A bit. Thanks.¡±

    ¡°You know you can talk to us about anything, right?¡± Mom took my hand. ¡°Even when we¡¯re working. Knock on our door, and we¡¯ll talk to you. Don¡¯t doubt. Okay?¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± I hugged her, then Dad.

    ¡°Wanna go and play some videogames?¡± They rose.

    ¡°Yeah, I really don¡¯t think you guys can handle the PS5.¡± I also stood up.

    ¡°Try us,¡± Mom said challengingly. We left my room.

 35~ A Shocking Sight

    Diana

    My sneakers rhythmically patted on the pavement. The chilly air reddened my cheeks and nose. I was wearing thick pants and a winter jacket, causing sweat to pool on my skin, but I preferred it over the freezing cold.

    It was a beautiful evening. The golden, setting sun shone on the recently-fallen snow, the flakes glittering as I passed them. It wasn¡¯t too hot, but it wasn¡¯t cold enough to maintain the snow. No doubt it¡¯d melt if the sun continued beating down like this.

    ¡°We were like¡­ 14, I think. And we went to the beach,¡± Monica was saying on the phone. I had wireless earbuds in so I could talk to her while I jogged. ¡°You know how people bury themselves in the sand, like, when you lie down, and someone else¡­?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah,¡± I said, panting in between.

    ¡°Okay. We did that. Me and Ivy were in the sand, Amy was burying us. Then I felt something on me¡­ it felt like something crawling. I thought ¡®it¡¯s probably just an itch¡¯. Then Ivy¡­¡± She started laughing. ¡°She starts screaming ¡®A CRAB¡¯S ON MY BUTT, A CRAB¡¯S ON MY BUTT!¡¯ And then¡­¡± She laughed harder. ¡°Amy¡¯s trying to dig us out¡ª we didn¡¯t have any shovels or anything. So she was using her bare hands to get all the sand off, and she had really small hands. And then I start screaming, because I felt a little bite. Not on my butt, it was on my elbow. And Amy¡¯s just¡­ trying to dig us out.¡±

    I stopped jogging as I reached the nearby outlet mall, taking a break to laugh along with her. Monica really was fun to talk to. She¡¯d texted me a few times, to wish me a Merry Christmas, and talk about Amy. Unlike everyone else I¡¯d met here, Monica was really open to talking about Amy. She loved remembering her and telling me stories. It was a refreshing change.

    I hoped I got to visit her again. I¡¯d hardly known her for a week, and she was the sweetest out of everyone I¡¯d met¡ª those that knew Amy, anyway. She was definitely the kind of friend I wanted to have.

    ¡°You still jogging?¡± Monica asked.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± I resumed, entering the mall.

    ¡°Girl, don¡¯t you get tired?¡±

    ¡°I take breaks.¡± I slowed, going to a nearby water fountain to refill my bottle. It wasn¡¯t the most sanitary option, but I didn¡¯t feel like buying and carrying another bottle with me.

    ¡°You¡¯re meeting the other side of the family this Sunday, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m not that nervous anymore,¡± I said, finishing refilling my bottle. ¡°Susan¡¯s side was so sweet. I¡¯m sure Davis¡¯s side is the same.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± She sounded doubtful.

    ¡°Why?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Why what?¡±

    ¡°You sounded¡­ I dunno, like you didn¡¯t agree.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ most of Mr. Field¡¯s side is really nice. It¡¯s just the cousins that are¡­ a bit standoffish, I¡¯d say.¡±

    ¡°Really? How many cousins do they have? Geez.¡±

    ¡°On the Field side, not too many. Just 3. I could just be resentful. They were pretty distraught when Amy died. People change. I just wanted to warn you in advance.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re not little kids, are they?¡± I asked, a bit fearfully.

    ¡°No, no way. One¡¯s¡­ he¡¯s in his late 20¡¯s. The other two are girls, and they¡¯re in high school. The oldest guy¡¯s nice enough. It¡¯s the girls that are¡­ meh.¡±

    I stopped jogging again. Ahead of me were four familiar faces I wasn¡¯t up to seeing.

    ¡°Diana? You good?¡± Monica asked.

    ¡°Um¡­ yeah. Yeah.¡± I turned to leave.

    ¡°Oh, look, it¡¯s Diana!¡± I heard one of their screeching voices ring out. I sighed, turning back.

    ¡°Di?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, I just¡­ got distracted.¡± I turned around and walked, ignoring the girls as they approached me. I should¡¯ve just circled back home.

    ¡°Diana, it¡¯s been a while.¡± The four approached with nauseatingly fake smiles. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± Lisa asked. ¡°How¡¯s introvert school? You have fun on Christmas with your new family?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m on the phone,¡± I said.

    ¡°Ooh, sorry, didn¡¯t mean to interrupt.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s there?¡± Monica asked.

    ¡°Who are you talking to?¡± Ivy asked me.

    ¡°Nunya business,¡± I told her.

    ¡°Oh, come on, don¡¯t be so mean.¡± Lisa pouted her lips. ¡°I know we didn¡¯t get along at school, but that¡¯s all water under the bridge, isn¡¯t it? It¡¯s Christmas! It¡¯s a time for forgiveness.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m on the phone,¡± I repeated, power-walking forward. ¡°Sorry, Money-¡± I winced, but it was too late to retract the nickname.

    ¡°Money?¡± The other girl giggled¡ª I forgot her name. ¡°Isn¡¯t that Monica Sullivan? You¡¯re talking to Monica?¡±

    Ivy¡¯s brown eyes hardened and her mocking smile faded. The other girls watched her reaction carefully, clearly entertained. I tried my best to ignore them, resuming my jog, but Ivy rushed up to me and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

    ¡°Hey!¡± I reached for it.

    ¡°Monica, is this you?¡± she said.

    ¡°I have earbuds on, ¡®dumb-butt¡¯. Give me my phone!¡± My hand swiped in the air.

    Ivy ducked away, turning off the Bluetooth. ¡°Monica?¡±

    ¡°Ivy, give me my phone! You don¡¯t have the right to-¡±

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Ivy continued. She pushed me away. ¡°I told you about her! I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re¡­ no, that¡¯s not the point! She¡¯s not a good person!¡±

    ¡°Oh, what a crock!¡± I finally got to my phone, snatching it away. ¡°I¡¯m not a good person? What did I ever do to you?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not fair that you know about Amy, you know¡­ everything. And you still have the gall to sleep in her room and live with her family. You don¡¯t know anything about her!¡±

    ¡°I know enough. Look, I didn¡¯t choose to come here in the first place, okay? I don¡¯t know what you want me to do-¡±

    ¡°I want you to get out of here,¡± she cut me off.

    ¡°No,¡± I scoffed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about Amy, but you don¡¯t get to treat me like this!¡±

    She stepped closer, invading my personal space. I braced myself, expecting her to slap me, but she didn¡¯t. ¡°Listen, Watson. They only took you in because they¡¯re crazy. If you didn¡¯t look like their daughter, they wouldn¡¯t care a bit about you. You¡¯re nothing but a replacement, and you know it.¡±

    The words cut deep, but I didn¡¯t dare shed a tear. Instead, tears pooled in her eyes. ¡°And then when you leave, they¡¯re gonna get hurt again. You already hurt them enough! You¡­ trying to kill yourself like a mental patient-¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?!¡±

    She stepped back, grunting. It took me a few seconds to realize I shoved her. My hands were shaking and my legs were turning into jelly. ¡°You don¡¯t know anything!¡± I shoved her again, this time conscious of the action. ¡°You don¡¯t know what it¡¯s like-¡±

    ¡°Oh, I am sick of your crying and whining and complaining, Diana!¡± Ivy talked over me. ¡°Reality check: everyone¡¯s got problems! Just because you suffered doesn¡¯t give you the right to try and bring everyone else down with you!¡±

    ¡°How am I doing that?!¡± I yelled. ¡°I¡¯m trying to be better. I¡¯m trying to be a better person even though I screwed up so much. That¡¯s better than you! You¡¯re the one hanging out with these hacks.¡± I pointed at the other three girls, who watched silently, smiles never wavering.

    ¡°You don¡¯t know me.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know me!¡± I retorted. ¡°And trust me, Ivy, I know you. You were Amy¡¯s ¡®best friend¡¯. Monica¡¯s ¡®best friend¡¯. And as soon as Amy dies, you turn around and make friends with the enemy!¡±

    Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

    Lisa scoffed. ¡°The enemy?¡±

    ¡°They all told me what you guys did to Amy,¡± I said to the three witches. ¡°They told me what you said to her, and did to her¡­ they told me how horrible you guys were. Logically, you shouldn¡¯t be near them!¡± I turned back to Ivy. ¡°But when Amy was on her friggin¡¯ deathbed, you were talking to them behind her back!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not true-¡± Ivy started.

    ¡°You were just waiting for her to die, weren¡¯t you?¡± The words spilled out without permission. I wasn¡¯t sure of what I was saying anymore. I regretted not bringing Lonnie; I wanted to give him a day off today. ¡°You couldn¡¯t wait for her to be out of your life so you could get popular. Poor Ivy, she lost her ¡®best friend¡¯. And I bet that as soon as Monica dies, you¡¯re gonna forget all about her.¡±

    ¡°Diana, just shut up!¡±

    ¡°She told me herself that she was angry. She told me she was hurt that you were with them.¡± I pointed at the other three.

    ¡°I¡¯m serious-¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why you hate me so much.¡± I smiled, pointing at her. ¡°You want everyone to believe you cared so much about Amy when you never did.¡±

    Silence. For a while, we stared each other down. In the corner of my eye, I saw Lisa recording us. Ivy finally stepped back, shaking her head. ¡°You¡¯re not worth it,¡± she whispered.

    ¡°She¡¯s not worth anything,¡± one of the two other girls added.

    ¡°Oh, Miranda, don¡¯t be so mean,¡± Lisa said.

    ¡°Why? She¡¯s right,¡± another said.

    ¡°Michelle, remember. She¡¯s got some¡­ issues. We should be more sensitive.¡±

    I turned and walked away. I didn¡¯t want to jog; it would look like I was running away from them. After I¡¯d left the outlet mall and started down a random street, I finally resumed my jog. On my phone, Monica was still on the call.

    ¡°Oh, my God.¡± I reconnected my Bluetooth. ¡°Money, you there?¡±

    ¡°Hey, Di¡­ I am so sorry,¡± she said.

    ¡°Sorry?¡±

    ¡°I could hear everything¡ª sorta muffled, but I got the gist of it. I can¡¯t believe Ivy¡¯s gotten so mean.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize for her, though.¡±

    ¡°I just¡­ I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on with her.¡± She sniffled. ¡°She loved Amy. I know she did. Since she died, she¡¯s been so different. I just wish¡­ I don¡¯t know what to do.¡±

    ¡°Monica¡­¡±

    ¡°Please forgive her, Di. She doesn¡¯t know what she¡¯s talking about. She¡¯s all¡­ she¡¯s not herself anymore. I¡¯m angry with her. But I know that¡¯s not her. I know it.¡±

    Pity filled me. She really wanted to believe Ivy was a true friend. Who could blame her? They were friends for so long. How could Ivy even dare to visit Monica when she was blatantly betraying her like this? I was usually one to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but this was too far.

    ¡°I need to go to sleep. Is it okay if I hang up?¡± Monica said, still sniffling.

    ¡°Yeah, sure. Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll talk to you later, Diana.¡±

    I slowed my jog to a walk, suddenly exhausted from the recent confrontation. I should¡¯ve just left. Why did I stay? Why did I even talk to them?

    A clatter made me jump. My guard went up as I scanned the street. Nothing. It was empty. I hesitantly resumed my walk, then stopped again a few steps later. There was a shadow moving in the distance.

    I gulped. I should¡¯ve been paying attention to where I was going. I was just so desperate to get away from Ivy and her clique that I just kept walking. I didn¡¯t even notice what street I was on. What was the way back home? Shakily, I looked up the address on my phone¡¯s GPS.

    There were weird noises coming from one of the houses. Paranoid, I rushed under the shade of a tree, leaning against the trunk. My phone showed me the way home from this street¡ª Levar Road.

    That sounded familiar¡­ had I been here before?

    Behind me, something was dragging. My curiosity won over my fear, forcing me to peek slightly past the tree. A figure was dragging a large bag, hauling it onto a pickup truck. It was weirdly shaped, sort of like a¡­

    The color drained out of my face. What the heck was I witnessing? What was I looking at? Was this just me thinking morbidly? Was it a hallucination? A dream? My body started trembling.

    The man covered the bag with a tarp and went to the driver¡¯s seat. He turned on the truck and pulled out of his driveway. I quickly ducked into some nearby bushes, making sure I was completely out of sight. I waited until I heard him drive away.

    For the first few moments, I couldn¡¯t move. My heart was pounding and I could hardly breathe normally. The cold air suddenly seemed colder, as if I were in the middle of a blizzard. I shivered uncontrollably.

    I finally got the bravery to move again, slowly standing from my hiding place. There wasn¡¯t a soul in sight. It was very dark.

    My phone rang, making me scream, and I covered my mouth. I quickly answered.

    ¡°Diana?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, Susan. I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°You had me worried sick! You¡¯ve been out for too long, it¡¯s getting late!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I repeated, getting out of the bushes. My sleeves and shoes were stuck in the branches, making it difficult to stand. ¡°I¡¯m on my way over. I just¡­ I got sidetracked.¡± I started running, desperate to get off the street. I really hoped I was just having an episode.

    What did I just see?

    ~~~

    Kyle

    My phone¡¯s clock read 7:15 in the evening. It was getting pretty late. Diana had been out jogging for maybe an hour already.

    hectorvector: idk it just dosnt look good w the room

    imthekingandiknowit: how?? my room literally has everything

    hectorvector: it clashes with jacks $@&%

    imthekingandiknowit: who cares

    hectorvector: it dosnt look good

    imthekingandiknowit: bro u dont help me¡­

    hectorvector: u askd me i told u bruh

    I briefly closed Hector¡¯s chat to text Diana. It was getting way too dark for her to be out alone, and on top of that, she hadn¡¯t even brought Lonnie with her. I knew it was a bad idea.

    Me: diana where r u? its past seven

    I returned to my chat with Hector, who was still typing. I sighed, staring forlornly at the picture of a beanbag chair I¡¯d sent him. I liked the green color of it, but if it really clashed that much¡­

    hectorvector: and btw

    change ur username

    imthekingandiknowit: wdym

    hectorvector: its cringe

    imthekingandiknowit: wdym cringe??

    hectorvector: Ur not the king lol

    I rolled my eyes, sending the same emoji. In my house I am

    Im better than all my brothers

    hectorvector: nah

    change it XD

    imthekingandiknowit: to what?

    hectorvector: idk

    something that defins u

    like imtheloserandiknowit

    imthekingandiknowit: hahahaha (unamused emoji)

    Feeling a bit hungry, I got off my bed and started down the hallway. Maybe I could wait for Diana in the living room. I could appear dramatically and give her that stare-down. It always scared my siblings and Amy, but never her.

    I¡¯d scare her one day. With some perseverance, I would.

    I passed my parents¡¯ room. ¡°¡­ it¡¯ll work? I feel like it¡¯s a waste of time.¡±

    I stopped. I thought they were downstairs. Curious, I listened in.

    ¡°Susan, it¡¯s almost 2024. It should work. It¡¯s not like we did Roots.com or something.¡±

    ¡°You think she¡¯ll be upset?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re very lucky she forgave us for being insensitive and creepy. She¡¯ll think we¡¯re creepy again.¡±

    ¡°Honey, it¡¯s better than getting her hopes up. Imagine we tell her, and it¡¯s a no. It¡¯s not fair.¡±

    What were they talking about? I leaned against the wall.

    ¡°We could¡¯ve just asked her, though,¡± Mom said.

    ¡°It¡¯s just a spoon. It¡¯ll be fine. It makes sense. If we were in the same hospital, it¡¯s a pretty high chance.¡±

    A pause. ¡°What if¡­ it¡¯s a yes?¡±

    ¡°Then¡­ we have a daughter.¡±

    My heart leapt in my chest when I realized what they meant. The shock mixed in with suspicions I had for months. I pressed my hands to my mouth, trying to decipher my feelings. Everything fit in like a crazy, weird puzzle. The same face, the same birthday¡­ and the same hospital? Diana¡¯s parents were in the same hospital we were in?

    I heard Mom crying. Tears also filled my eyes at the thought. I stared at Diana¡¯s room, where Lonnie was sleeping on her bed. I chuckled. He always did that when she wasn¡¯t around.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to mess it up again,¡± Mom croaked.

    ¡°We won¡¯t. We just¡­ we need to be closer to God. We need to listen to him. That¡¯s why we messed up so badly before, because we weren¡¯t listening. We did what we wanted to do,¡± Dad said gently. ¡°It¡¯s gonna be okay, my love.¡±

    My phone buzzed, startling me. I quickly rushed downstairs before they could see me.

    hectorvector: or imajerklolol

    or &^@#2000

    or &^%$

    or %*&@$^#

    imthekingandiknowit: shut up idiot

    hectorvector: (multiple laughing emojis)

    I sat in the living room, taking a breath. I soon heard panting noises and looked down, finding Lonnie approaching me. I scratched his head, finding comfort in the softness of his fur.

    If we were right¡­ I still had a sister. Diana could be Amy¡¯s sister.

    It was so crazy. Too crazy. It had to be a fluke.

    The doorknob rattled and Diana came into the foyer. I stood, watching as she took off her jackets and dusted the snow off her sneakers. She stopped short as she passed the living room and saw me. Lonnie went up to her, saying hello.

    I wanted to say something, but all words had left me. I just gaped at her like a fish. She cocked a brow. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    I blinked. Remembering my earlier scheme, I sighed. I couldn¡¯t do that now. My stupid face ruined the whole effect. Instead, I focused on her disheveled appearance. Her hair was a mess, falling out of its low ponytail, and her clothes were covered in dirt and snow.

    ¡°What happened to you?¡± I approached her, dusting her off. I glanced at her wrist, expecting to see her sunflower bracelet, but it was gone. ¡°Where¡¯s your bracelet?¡±

    ¡°My-¡± She lifted her wrist and groaned. ¡°Dang it. It must¡¯ve¡­¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°I fell down.¡± She wiped her face, stressed. ¡°I need a nap.¡±

    ¡°Did something happen?¡± She seemed unusually tense. Considering how late it was, I worried.

    ¡°No, nothing. Well-¡± She hesitated. ¡°I saw Ivy today. At the mall.¡±

    ¡°At the mall?¡±

    ¡°The outlet.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Did she¡­ say anything?¡±

    ¡°We got into a thing because I was talking to Monica. She was on the phone,¡± she explained. ¡°That¡¯s why I got here so late. I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine¡­ it wasn¡¯t too bad, right? I can talk to her,¡± I offered, though it probably wouldn¡¯t do anything. Ivy wasn¡¯t exactly buddy-buddy with us.

    ¡°No, don¡¯t do anything. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m going to her school anymore.¡± Diana headed to the foyer, Lonnie following her. It had only been two weeks, and this guy was attached to her hip. It didn¡¯t take long for him to become part of our family.

    Family¡­ that word was so hard for me to define now.

    ¡°Diana?¡±

    She turned. ¡°Yeah?¡±

    I studied her face. The same eyes, same proportions¡­ her cheeks were a little thinner. Amy¡¯s face was fuller. Their major difference was their hair; Diana¡¯s hair was a wavy pale white, like Mom¡¯s. Amy got Dad¡¯s hair, a straight golden blond.

    Could this girl really be my sister? By blood? I wasn¡¯t fully used to calling her my sister. It had slipped out a couple times, maybe registering subconsciously. It still didn¡¯t feel right, especially with how recent Amy¡¯s passing was.

    But if she was my sister¡­ Amy¡¯s sister¡­

    ¡°What is it, Kyle?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Just¡­ don¡¯t stay out so late again, okay? It¡¯s dangerous. Thank God you didn¡¯t get mugged,¡± I told her.

    ¡°I know. I¡¯m sorry.¡± Her hands wrung together. ¡°I¡¯ll be upstairs napping, okay?¡± She headed up, her hand tracing the garland decorating the railing.

    I returned to the living room, staring at the Christmas tree. On its branches were various mementos of our lives. Ornaments Amy made for us, pictures of each of us, ¡®Baby¡¯s First Christmas¡¯, among others. There was an ornament commemorating Julia.

    How much did we miss? How much more was supposed to be among the colorful lights and plastic pine leaves? Why did she have to leave us in the first place? The questions filled my head to the point of insanity.

    All that was left was for the DNA test to come back.

 36~ Field Day

    Diana

    12.31.23

    Dear Diary, it¡¯s New Year¡¯s Eve, so this will be my last entry of the year.

    We¡¯re heading out to a huge park about a couple hours away to see New Year¡¯s fireworks. Davis¡¯s family is going to be there. The boys think their grandparents will love me. I¡¯m still wary about their cousins, after what Monica told me.

    Next week we restart school. It¡¯s more relaxing for me, since I get to stay home. The boys aren¡¯t that enthused about it. I don¡¯t blame them; with the drama that happened between Jack and the frats, and Tommy and Harry quitting football¡­ and Mildred rejecting Harry, there¡¯s bound to be some awkwardness. I feel like Kyle is the only one of us that has a ¡®normal¡¯ life going on at school. He has a ¡®don¡¯t-care¡¯ attitude about winter break being over.

    I haven¡¯t told anyone about what I saw during my jog. I¡¯m legitimately not sure if I was dreaming or not. I can¡¯t trust myself to tell what¡¯s real and what¡¯s in my head. It could be that I just had a weird episode because of Ivy and them.

    ¡°It¡¯s been confirmed. Diana Watson is a weirdo.¡±

    I sighed, turning to glare at my 11-year old self sitting on my bed. She was dressed in the Brimstone Academy uniform.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need your input right now,¡± I growled, trying to get back to writing.

    ¡°Then why am I here?¡±

    ¡°I dunno.¡±

    ¡°You called me.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t call you. Y¡¯all just show up when I least need it.¡±

    ¡°Diana, we¡¯re only here when you bring us here,¡± she retorted. ¡°We¡¯re not a hallucination, it¡¯s literally you thinking.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to think.¡± I groaned, getting up. I had to get ready, anyway. ¡°And I definitely don¡¯t want to think about you. You¡¯re one of the worst mes I have.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because you¡­¡± I looked at her, shuddering. ¡°That uniform alone already gives me anxiety.¡± I reached down and pet Lonnie.

    ¡°I hate it. It itches.¡± She rolled up her sleeve and scratched her arm. I caught sight of the marks on her arm; they were fresh, the skin reddened. It had a yellowish color to it, like a crust growing over the wounds.

    I remembered they had gotten infected, so I treated them myself in secret and stopped. I didn¡¯t want to get sick and force a doctor visit.

    ¡°I guess you¡¯re thinking a lot about those girls,¡± she continued. ¡°I get it. Lisa and those other two¡­ they¡¯re a lot like Kayla, Sonya, and Estelle.¡±

    The names made me twitch. ¡°I don¡¯t want to think about those girls.¡± I put on my shirt; a nice, baby blue one that had ruffles around the collar.

    ¡°But you are.¡±

    ¡°Just stop, okay?¡± I put on my jeans. ¡°This is supposed to be a happy day, and I don¡¯t want you screwing it up. You won¡¯t. Get out.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t leave until you let me and you know that.¡±

    ¡°Why do I do this?¡± I covered my face, sitting back down. ¡°Why do I bring you guys here?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. There¡¯s a reason, but I don¡¯t know,¡± she said.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I looked at her.

    ¡°Well, something happened that made you talk to us like this, but I don¡¯t remember what it is. I think one of the younger ones know, but you almost never talk to them. You should ask them.¡±

    I stared at her for a few moments. ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°Revisit your childhood,¡± she clarified. ¡°You have to think back further, remember the earlier days. Go deeper into the past.¡± She played with the hem of her sock. ¡°There¡¯s a lot of stuff you forgot¡ª that I forgot.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, sure. I want to remember all that.¡±

    ¡°Sooner or later, you¡¯re gonna have to.¡±

    ¡°Diana? You ready, honey?¡± Susan called from downstairs. Pulled out of my thoughts, my little me was gone. I thanked Susan mentally for the interruption.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be right down!¡± I grabbed my purse and joined the family downstairs, Lonnie trailing behind me.

    My phone buzzed as we left the house and piled into the car. Pulling it out, I smiled. Monica texted, Happy New Year!!! I got lots of other texts from Tony, Thelma, Mildred, and the other girls. The holidays made it hard to get together, so hopefully we¡¯d find a day later on.

    As the car pulled away, I responded to everyone, having been too lazy to check texts. I stopped at Blanche¡¯s, who shared some news along with her holiday greetings.

    idkwtdwml: hey diana! have a grate night!

    listen im really sry about this, but i didnt know until this morning

    im moving bk with my mom this week

    im happy dont get me rong, but that means i wont b around as much any more

    she lives pretty far so im transfering schools and everything

    im gonna try and visit but i wont b as close, and if i move out of my moms again im going w the other fam im usualy with, not the mcarthies here, so i dont think ill come bk

    ill miss yall

    I stared at her texts. Blanche had pretty much become part of the group. It felt¡­ pretty sad to know she wouldn¡¯t be around. It wasn¡¯t like she was moving to another country, but it would still be far.

    Sunflowergirl3482: Hey Blanche. Don¡¯t sweat it. I¡¯m really happy for you! We can keep communicating, that¡¯s the good thing. I hope you enjoy your time with your mom. Lmk if you ever want to hang, or if you¡¯re in the area!

    I continued down my list of texts. There were a lot, surprisingly, including some requests. Curious, I opened them.

    ok_mrunen220: hi diana

    happy new year

    u gonna try agin? (ROFL emoji)

    who is this? I texted.

    There were three other accounts on the Request list. All of them had different, weird texts.

    ieieie2333: you have another chanse this year! Lol

    soraprincessim: are you leaving yet?

    Throwawayaccount_4032: 2024 without u would b grate

    The first user messaged me back. ok_mrunen220: ur friend from school

    so u gonna try agin?

    Sunflowergirl3482: Try what?

    ok_mrunen220: yk (giggling emoji)

    Sunflowergirl3482: I really don¡¯t

    ok_mrunen220: 2023 was a $*^@@& year

    2024 can b better if u $%^# &^%

    Realizing it was stupid to keep conversing with this person, I blocked them. The message was already getting me upset, my heart rate having increased. Lonnie leaned his head on my thigh.

    ieieie2333: theyre prob praying for u to leave

    they hate u

    Ivy, I know this is you. Leave me alone, I responded.

    ieieie2333: How do u know its ivy? theres so many ppl that hate u lol

    Sunflowergirl3482: Youre the only one pathetic enough to do this. And your initials are in your username. Idiot. I blocked her and the three other accounts, trying not to get upset. I wouldn¡¯t let them ruin my new year with my foster family.

    ¡°You good?¡± Harry asked me.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m just bored.¡± Mildred had also texted me. dawsonaction: hey diana have a great new yr!

    I meant to ask

    hows harry doing

    He¡¯s doing ok, I said.

    dawsonaction: hes been happy rite?

    Sunflowergirl3482: Yea he¡¯s good. Don¡¯t worry Mill, he¡¯ll be fine. You don¡¯t have to feel guilty.

    dawsonaction: ik i just feel bad

    he was calm but i could tell i probably hurt him a bit

    ive been rejected to so ik how it feels

    Sunflowergirl3482: He¡¯ll be fine. Just keep being friends with him.

    Don¡¯t be afraid to say Happy New Year, that might lift his spirits, knowing you¡¯re still comfortable being friends.

    He hasn¡¯t been texting you or insisting right? in that case, I understand if you wouldn¡¯t want to talk to him.

    dawsonaction: Oh no ofc not

    hes very chill

    Sunflowergirl3482: Ok. Then it should be just fine. If he gets the wrong idea, you¡¯ll have to make it clear you¡¯re staying friends.

    I frowned at myself. Why was I giving her advice? I was the worst person to give out relationship tips. What was I thinking?

    Take what I¡¯m saying with a grain of salt, I¡¯m not great at relationships (laughing emoji)

    dawsonaction: gurl ur good. ty

    have a great nite

    Love u

    Sunflowergirl3482: Love you too

    ¡°We¡¯re here,¡± Davis announced. ¡°No phones, please.¡±

    I put away my phone obediently and got out of the car with Lonnie. A light snow had fallen, covering the ground with a thin sheet of white.

    There were groups of people setting up tents and putting down thick winter blankets and jackets on the snowy open fields and hills. Some had started small campfires in the pits set up for visitors. Security guards and other authorities stood around, some stationed in a cabin, watching for any trouble. We walked towards one of the campfires, where a group of people awaited us¡ª the rest of the Field family.

    Unlike Susan¡¯s family, there were only a few; Davis¡¯s parents, his brother, and his nephew and two nieces. Susan¡¯s family was much bigger, made larger by the Wellingsly branch.

    Davis greeted his brother with a warm hug and a smile. When the latter turned to me, his expression faltered for a second, then he chuckled, shaking his head. ¡°Wow,¡± he said. He held out his hand. ¡°How are you, sweetheart?¡±

    ¡°Hi.¡± I smiled, shaking his hand. I looked at the rest of the family. Davis¡¯s parents stood from their chairs, smiling at me. They looked to be in their 70¡¯s, just like Susan¡¯s mother. They were also charmed by Lonnie, smiling at him and commenting on his cuteness.

    As Monica warned me, Davis¡¯s two nieces didn¡¯t seem that happy. Their older brother came forward, bearing an exact image of his father, and greeted me with a warm hug. He introduced himself as Joseph. The grandparents were also very sweet, allowing me to call them Gramma and Papa Jack, like the boys did.

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    ¡°Girls,¡± Davis¡¯s brother Victor motioned his daughters to come forward. One was probably my age while the other looked to be around 14. ¡°These are Rose and Maybelle.¡±

    I waved shyly, suddenly feeling a little colder from the gazes shot at me. When their father nudged them, they reluctantly gave me handshakes, not saying a word. ¡°Nice dog,¡± the older one said.

    We settled down and put down the blankets and picnic baskets we¡¯d brought. Despite the chilliness, the bonfire kept us warm enough, along with all the fuzzy blankets. Susan also brought hot chocolate, eggnog, and marshmallows to roast over the fire.

    ¡°So, Diana, did you have a good Christmas with Susan¡¯s family?¡± the boys¡¯ grandma asked me.

    ¡°Yeah, I did,¡± I said truthfully, mist escaping my lips. I sipped my hot chocolate. ¡°It was really fun. The food was delicious, too.¡±

    ¡°I can imagine,¡± said Davis¡¯s dad. ¡°Last time I was there, Sam made a beautiful roast turkey. Of course, it won¡¯t beat Gabby¡¯s,¡± ¡ªhe cast a loving look at his wife¡ª ¡°but it was still heaven on a plate.¡±

    ¡°Sam?¡±

    ¡°Gammy,¡± Kyle specified, meaning Susan¡¯s mother. I nodded, understanding.

    ¡°The cookies were so good,¡± I added. ¡°I never tasted Christmas cookies like that.¡±

    ¡°Guess what her favorites are,¡± Jack said.

    ¡°Cinnamon eggnog?¡± Joseph guessed.

    Unwittingly, I gagged. ¡°I love eggnog, but the cookies¡­ no thanks.¡±

    They chuckled, sharing some smiles. When I knitted my brows, Harry explained, ¡°Those were Amy¡¯s favorites.¡±

    ¡°Really? I mean, I¡¯m not insulting Mrs. Dillon¡¯s baking, or-¡±

    ¡°No, you¡¯re good. I don¡¯t like the dark chocolate ones, for example.¡±

    ¡°So which ones are your favorites?¡± Joseph asked.

    ¡°Red velvet.¡±

    They chuckled. ¡°Amy hated those!¡±

    ¡°She did? Why? They¡¯re delicious.¡±

    ¡°Because they¡¯re gross,¡± Maybelle muttered, sitting in front of me, but everyone heard her.

    Joseph picked up some snow, throwing it at her. ¡°Hey, don¡¯t be rude.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± She chucked snow back at him, clearly unamused. Her face flushed with anger.

    ¡°Maybelle Annie,¡± her father scolded. There was a beat of awkward silence. Even her older sister looked embarrassed.

    ¡°Um¡­ is your aunt coming soon?¡± I asked the boys, looking around for Joseph and the girls¡¯ mother.

    They didn¡¯t answer, some clearing their throats. My answer came when Maybelle snapped, ¡°We don¡¯t have a mom, FYI. You don¡¯t hear us asking where your real parents are.¡±

    ¡°Maybelle!¡±

    ¡°What? It was rude!¡±

    Her father came over and took her arm, pulling her to her feet. He smiled, embarrassed. ¡°Excuse us.¡± He led her away from us. The girl rolled her eyes and stomped grumpily as she unwillingly followed.

    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry about her,¡± Rose suddenly said, taking me by surprise. Her colder expression was gone, as if the fire had melted some of the ice from her heart.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ all good. I¡¯m sorry for prying,¡± I said.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine. We do have a mom. Dad just divorced her. No big deal. She was 3 when it happened, and it affected her a lot, so there¡¯s just a lot of¡­ drama.¡±

    ¡°I see. I get that¡­ sorta.¡±

    Rose scooted up from her seat on the snow so she could be next to me. ¡°You really do look like Amy,¡± she chuckled.

    ¡°I get that a lot,¡± I joked.

    ¡°Your hair¡¯s a lighter blond, though.¡±

    ¡°I get that a lot, too.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re really a foster kid?¡± she asked curiously.

    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m only 2 years away from aging out, so I¡¯m kinda hoping I stay here till then. I¡¯m lucky they didn¡¯t move me.¡± I petted Lonnie, who sat next to me with his tongue hanging out. How it didn¡¯t freeze, I had no idea.

    ¡°I love your dog,¡± Rose commented.

    ¡°Thanks. He makes everything easier for me. And the family, too. They¡¯re amazing.¡±

    She smiled. ¡°They¡¯re the sweetest ever.¡± She gazed at the brothers, who were now in an argument¡­ about some soap opera. Susan and Davis soon joined the conversation. I was frankly surprised that they were into a show like that.

    ¡°Were you guys close to Amy?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Um¡­ not that close. We¡¯d go over their house sometimes. We, uh¡­ didn¡¯t have a lot in common, and we didn¡¯t used to get along much. Especially Maybelle.¡± Rose rolled her eyes. ¡°Now that she¡¯s gone, I wish I did spend more time with her. She was just into a lot of drawing, and art, and anime. I¡¯m more of a sports type girl. Maybelle¡­ she¡¯s just weird.¡±

    We laughed. The aforementioned younger sister soon returned with her father, still looking a bit grumpy, but mostly embarrassed. The father looked exhausted, as any parent would after scolding a preteen. The girl sat down, a bit isolated from the group, and pouted.

    ¡°But good weird,¡± Rose added. ¡°What do you like to do?¡± she then asked me.

    We continued talking for a while. My phone buzzed annoyingly in my pocket the whole time. 5 minutes before midnight, the park was full of people. Susan took time taking the last pictures and videos of 2023. Maybelle soon cheered up, but she still seemed uncomfortable around me.

    ¡°You enjoying your Field Day?¡± Harry asked, sitting next to me. I¡¯d scooted closer to the newly-fueled fire, my fingers half-frozen.

    ¡°Yeah, I am.¡± I smiled.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about Maybelle, and for not telling you about our aunt, and¡­¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good, Harry. It¡¯s fine. Rose is pretty nice,¡± I assured him.

    ¡°Enjoy it while you can; the next Field Day we¡¯ll have with everyone else will be¡­ pretty far. Probably on Christmas.¡±

    My phone buzzed again. I sighed, irritated, and checked again, finding a colorful message. I texted back, This is how you¡¯re spending New Year¡¯s? You¡¯re pathetic. Even I have a family to spend time with. Sorry you¡¯re so sad and alone. Happy New Year! I blocked them right after.

    ¡°Something wrong?¡± Harry asked.

    Before I could answer, everyone called us for the final New Year¡¯s countdown. We joined everyone, seeing people lighting up fireworks in the distance.

    ¡°TEN¡­ NINE¡­ EIGHT¡­¡±

    I stood between Harry and Jack, who both put their arms around my shoulders. We all linked together, happily counting down the last seconds of 2023.

    Every New Year¡¯s, I¡¯d get a miserable feeling. I hated existing, I hated knowing I¡¯d have to endure another year on Earth, I hated that so much time had passed and nothing had changed. It was such a horrible sensation.

    But for the first time in 12 years, despite the demons I had left to fight, I felt¡­ peace.

    ¡°ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!¡± The fireworks burst in the air in beautiful sparkles of gold, silver, and green.

    ~~~

    01.03.24

    Dear Diary, I have two free periods, so I¡¯m writing. I had Health and Geometry just now; two classes I pretty much hate. On the bright side, I have ASL, and Dr. Cawman¡¯s coming over. Today¡¯s a weirdly calm day. I haven¡¯t had any episodes, I haven¡¯t felt depressed, I haven¡¯t had any anxiety or panic attacks. It¡¯s one of those good days, you know?

    At the same time, I was texting my friends. Blanche was moving to her mom¡¯s on Saturday. Everyone was trying to get together before she moved as sort of a goodbye. She¡¯d posted on Familiar, spending time with her club friends and packing her things.

    She was pretty lucky. I usually got 30 minutes¡¯ notice before I was moved. It was nice that she actually had time to say goodbye and prepare to move back. And she was with her mother, someone she wanted to be with.

    I shook my head. I was very fortunate myself. I was with a perfectly good family and had great friends. I was so ungrateful.

    Maybe that was why people hated me. I was so greedy and selfish. So self-centered. I believed everyone had to pay attention to me. I was so gross. So¡­

    I took a breath. The good day was ruined. I was doing it again. Why did I always do this?

    I checked Monica¡¯s chat. She¡¯d gotten into the habit of texting me ¡®good morning¡¯ every day. It was weird she hadn¡¯t done so this morning. Maybe she was busy. I scrolled through our chat on New Year¡¯s Day, where I told her all about the celebration.

    moneysully: yea Maybelle can be difficult, but shes overall a nice girl. She just goes through a lot

    I understand, I¡¯d replied. Take it from me (laughing emoji)

    moneysully: (laughing emoji)

    btw im thinking we could get together soon? Maybe this week? Lmk

    i usually like fridays

    Sunflowergirl3482: Yeah, sure! It¡¯ll be fun.

    Just not around where Ivy hangs around though.

    moneysully: Yea ik

    Im so sorry about her

    those messages arent like her. i cant believe shed do that

    Sunflowergirl3482: You didn¡¯t mention them to her, right?

    moneysully: no ofc not

    ig shes just really letting those girls control her

    she wasnt like this before amy died

    I scrolled further down to yesterday¡¯s chat.

    Sunflowergirl3482: Hey Monica! Susan gave me permission to hang out with you on Thursday. Let me know if you¡¯re free! I can¡¯t on Friday. If not, we could try Saturday.

    2 hours later, I¡¯d texted, Money you there?

    I¡¯m sorry are you sleeping?

    Then 3 hours later. Money are you feeling okay? You¡¯re not back at the hospital, are you?

    It was weird that she wasn¡¯t responding. For as long as I¡¯d talked to her, she was always online. I tried her again.

    Sunflowergirl3482: Morning Monica! You feeling better today?

    Lmk if you¡¯re available tomorrow or Saturday! I was thinking we could go bowling. I¡¯ve never actually done it, but I¡¯m open to trying! (smiling emoji)

    ¡°Diana.¡± Kyle appeared in the doorway. He and Jack weren¡¯t starting school until after Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± I asked Kyle, putting down my phone and pen. A cold feeling registered in my stomach when I saw his face; grave. ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡± He stepped further inside. ¡°I don¡¯t know if Monica talked to you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she¡­ she hasn¡¯t talked to me. Last time we texted, it was New¡­ Year¡¯s¡­¡± I felt my face lose its blood flow. ¡°Why?¡±

    He stood in silence for a moment. ¡°Why?¡± I asked again, more urgent.

    ¡°I was¡­ kinda hoping she talked to you.¡± He ran a hand through his unruly golden locks.

    ¡°What happened?¡± I demanded tearfully, even though I knew what he was going to say.

    ~~~

    January 8<sup>th</sup>, 2024

    ¡°Amazing grace,

    How sweet the sound,

    That saved a wretch like me¡­

    I once was lost,

    But now am found,

    Was blind, but now, I see¡­¡±

    I stared at the beautiful, yellow roses sitting on top of her coffin. The singer¡¯s voice mellifluously ticked my ears. Sniffles and quiet sobs accompanied the song.

    I barely knew her, just a few weeks, and yet¡­ it broke my heart. The way she was so sweet and compassionate towards me from day one when no one, not even the Fields themselves, did so.

    The ceremony passed by in a blur. Being in the graveyard gave me a weird sense of nostalgia. It was as if I were reliving my parents¡¯ funeral, even though I didn¡¯t go. Maybe it was an effect from finally seeing their graves after 12 years, when the Fields took me there.

    Lonnie also seemed to sense the grave atmosphere, his mouth closed, and no sign of his puppy smile in his eyes. He walked slowly at my side.

    After the burial, everyone stood around in groups, talking. Some even managed to laugh as they remembered Monica. Despite the sorrowful event, it was a beautiful day, the sun high, though it was still pretty chilly. I wore a black overcoat over my formal black dress, thick pantyhose, and warm gray wedges that helped me keep my balance in the snow.

    I walked up to Monica¡¯s grave with the Fields, leaving a bouquet of red tulips, red as her hair. She¡¯d told me her wig was made out of the hair she¡¯d lost during chemo.

    I put an arm around Harry, who seemed especially affected. Being the closest to her age besides Amy, they must¡¯ve been close. The other three were also impacted. Given that Amy died only eight months ago, this was a hard blow.

    The family soon turned away, paying respects to Monica¡¯s family. I stayed behind, staring at the grave. On top was Monica¡¯s picture.

    I took out my phone, gazing at our conversation. We were supposed to see each other. We were supposed to go for a girls¡¯ weekend. Why didn¡¯t I visit her again? Why didn¡¯t I call for a day out sooner?

    ¡°Goodbye, my friend,¡± I whispered, breathing in shakily. I smiled. ¡°Thank you for¡­ being my friend. I-¡±

    ¡°What are you doing here?!¡±

    The loud voice made me gasp as I turned. Everyone¡¯s eyes were on me and the brunette in front of me, who stared at me with utter fury and resentment, her brown eyes puffy and red from an overabundance of tears.

    She walked towards me, shaking her head, and chuckled. ¡°You¡¯ve got some nerve. Just because she talked to you a couple times, you think you have the right to be here? Like you were besties or something?¡±

    I glanced towards my foster family, who watched in shock. Tommy and Harry started walking over, followed by the others.

    ¡°I-I¡­ I was friends with her, Ivy,¡± I said, somehow finding my voice. ¡°What do you care if I¡¯m here or not? You¡¯re not her family or anything.¡± Lonnie started pawing at me.

    ¡°Ivy, what are you doing?¡± Tommy said.

    ¡°You just really want to be like Amy, don¡¯t you?¡± she continued, ignoring him. ¡°You want to act like what was important to her was important to you.¡±

    ¡°What? How¡­ you¡¯re not making any sense.¡±

    ¡°You call my best friend pathetic, and you don¡¯t even look in the mirror!¡± she yelled.

    I was sent into a swirl of confusion. I chuckled. ¡°You¡¯re just making ¡®stuff¡¯ up at this point.¡± I blushed a bit, the swear having slipped out in front of everyone. I glanced at everyone apologetically.

    ¡°Oh? What about this, huh?¡± She took out her phone and opened something, showing it to me. It was a screenshot of a chat.

    Sunflowergirl3482: This is how you¡¯re spending New Year¡¯s? You¡¯re pathetic. Even I have a family to spend time with. Sorry you¡¯re so sad and alone. Happy New Year!

    I scoffed. ¡°That was you.¡±

    ¡°No, that was my best friend.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, your witch friend¡±¡ª I was careful not to swear this time¡ª ¡°who was harassing me the whole time. And she¡¯s crying about it? Wow.¡±

    ¡°Harassing you?¡± She sounded confused.

    ¡°Yeah, with you. What, are you gonna pretend you and your friends weren¡¯t texting me to ¡®try again¡¯ on New Year¡¯s?¡±

    Ivy laughed. ¡°Oh, yeah, typical of you to make up some story about me.¡±

    ¡°Make up a story?¡±

    ¡°Where¡¯s the evidence?¡±

    ¡°I blocked them, obviously.¡±

    ¡°Oh, how convenient.¡±

    ¡°You have the evidence.¡± I snatched away her phone, looking for the throwaway chat.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Ivy tried to reach for it.

    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s calm down,¡± Susan stepped in. ¡°Ivy, we¡¯re at Monica¡¯s funeral, and you¡¯re making a scene? Really?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you brought her here,¡± Ivy snapped at her. ¡°Just because she looks like Amy doesn¡¯t mean she¡¯s her best friend!¡± She snatched her phone back.

    ¡°What does that have to do with anything?¡± Beside me, Lonnie whimpered, pawing me again.

    ¡°Ivy, if you care so much about Monica, then how come you¡¯re doing this at her funeral, when we¡¯re supposed to be comforting her family and honoring her memory?¡± Davis raised a brow.

    A couple ran over, stopping at Ivy. ¡°What happened?¡± the woman asked.

    ¡°Ivy¡¯s being a self-centered psycho,¡± Jack remarked.

    ¡°Jack.¡± Susan nudged him.

    ¡°What? It¡¯s true.¡±

    ¡°I just find it a little weird that they¡¯d bring her. She¡¯s not a good person,¡± Ivy said, now acting calm in front of who I presumed were her parents.

    ¡°I¡¯m not a good person?¡± I asked mockingly, stepping forward. Lonnie stood in front of me, as if to stop me.

    ¡°Look what she said to my best friend!¡± Ivy gave her mother her phone.

    ¡°That was a girl that was harassing me!¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about, ¡®harassing¡¯?!¡±

    ¡°Instead of spending time with your family, you were texting me!¡± I shouted, still blocked by Lonnie¡¯s body.

    ¡°No, I wasn¡¯t! I¡¯ve got better things to do than to talk to you!¡± Despite the hateful tone, I could see the confusion swimming in her eyes. Maybe that account wasn¡¯t her. ¡°My friend sent me this last night. You replied to her story with this. You were harassing her.¡±

    ¡°Obviously, she lied to you. And how is she your ¡®best friend¡¯? I thought Monica was¡­¡± I stopped, a sarcastic smile growing. ¡°Actually, no, I just answered my own question. You don¡¯t care about Monica. You never cared about her. You just wanted to make everything about you!¡±

    ¡°Diana, let¡¯s go.¡± Davis turned me away. ¡°Just ignore her. Don¡¯t argue.¡±

    ¡°You wanted her to be friends with Money, didn¡¯t you?¡± Ivy told my foster parents. ¡°Exactly like Amy. You can¡¯t go without copying every single-¡±

    ¡°Ivy!¡± Her father gripped her face. ¡°I¡­¡± His mouth flapped, as if he couldn¡¯t recognize the girl before him. ¡°We¡¯re leaving. Now.¡±

    ¡°Wait-¡±

    ¡°I SAID WE¡¯RE LEAVING.¡± He led his daughter away, his face red.

    Ivy¡¯s mother turned to us. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she said. ¡°I had no idea she¡¯d act like this. I¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine, Megan,¡± Susan said, though she didn¡¯t look like she meant it. ¡°We¡¯ll just be going, okay?¡± We all turned, approaching Monica¡¯s family, who stood a few meters away from the drama.

    Davis spoke up for us. ¡°We¡¯re so sorry about this. We didn¡¯t know Ivy would¡­ we didn¡¯t realize there was a lot of¡­¡±

    Monica¡¯s mother, who shared her red locks, smiled painfully. ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, Davis. Thank you for coming.¡±

    Without another word, we rushed to the car. I looked down the sidewalk at Ivy¡¯s car, where her father was loudly scolding her for her behavior. I couldn¡¯t believe she had the gall to talk back and argue that she was right.

    As soon as the car pulled away, my breath suddenly cut short. I gasped, overcome with panic as oxygen failed to enter my lungs. Lonnie lied across my lap while Tommy and Harry scooted closer to comfort me. I leaned my head back, doing the breathing exercises I¡¯d practiced.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe Ivy,¡± Susan commented.

    ¡°I can,¡± Kyle said. ¡°She¡¯s been bullying Diana since she started school.¡±

    ¡°But to argue with her at her best friend¡¯s funeral?¡±

    ¡°She was hardly Money¡¯s ¡®best friend¡¯ by now. She cares more about Lisa and them,¡± Tommy said, kissing my hair and leaning his head on mine.

    ¡°We¡¯re going to have to stop by the Sullivans¡¯ tomorrow to apologize.¡± Davis gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles whitening. ¡°God, this is so embarrassing.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said, regaining my breathing.

    ¡°Diana, you have nothing to be sorry about,¡± said Susan, a bit scoldingly. ¡°That little girl has to seriously evaluate herself.¡±

    I tiredly leaned into my foster brothers¡¯ hugs, petting Lonnie. I looked out the window at the perfectly blue sky.

    If there was a Heaven up there¡­ was Monica there? Could she see all this? Could she see me? Or was it just¡­ God? Was he even there? Why didn¡¯t he make Ivy leave? Why did he let Monica die?

    ¡°Help me¡­¡± I whispered.

 37~ Results

    Susan

    January 13<sup>th</sup>, 2024

    I hated seeing Diana so depressed. Everything was so much¡­ better recently. Now with Monica¡¯s passing and Ivy¡¯s ridiculous outburst, she¡¯d gone back to the way she was. Just when she was getting¡­ happy.

    I couldn¡¯t help the guilt. Ivy hated her because of us. She shouldn¡¯t have gone, but we couldn¡¯t deny her the right when she wanted to. It wouldn¡¯t be fair.

    Five days since the funeral¡ª ten since Monica died, and Diana hadn¡¯t gone out, or talked to any of her friends. Not even that boy, Tony. Even our sons had mellowed. We all knew Monica would leave us someday, but we were hoping it wouldn¡¯t be so soon. A selfish desire; Monica was ready to go.

    I approached Diana¡¯s doorway. She sat at her desk, doing homework. Lonnie lied in his bed, just as sad as she was. His smile wasn¡¯t there.

    Most of the boys were absent; Harry went to a friend¡¯s house, Kyle was with Nicole, and Jack with some of the boys at his college. Tommy was holed up in his room, also studying. With Shirley out of his life, he¡¯d seemed more relaxed, but also more of an indoor person. He almost never went anywhere without that girl. I was hurt that he got hurt, but relieved she was gone.

    There was only so much I could do as his mother. I couldn¡¯t completely forbid him from seeing her; that was what led to him sneaking out to her house that night in the first place. I talked to her parents, but they didn¡¯t seem to care much about the way their relationship was built.

    Tommy knew very well I disapproved, as did the rest of us, but it was up to him in the end. He needed to face the consequences of his decision to stay with her for so long.

    Just like I had to face the consequences of what I¡¯d done. I had a feeling the problems wouldn¡¯t stop for a long while. I¡¯d done a pretty¡­ messed-up thing.

    ¡°Diana, honey?¡± I started. ¡°You want to do something? It¡¯s a beautiful day.¡±

    ¡°No, thanks, Susan. Got a lot of work to do.¡±

    ¡°It snowed again. You sure you don¡¯t want to go and build a snowman or something?¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m fine.¡±

    ¡°You want to bake something? We can make cookies.¡±

    She smiled appreciatively. ¡°Maybe later on. Not now. Thanks, though.¡±

    I sighed. ¡°Okay. Let me know if you need anything.¡± I headed back downstairs, where Davis was watching TV.

    He looked up when I entered. ¡°Nothing?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± I fell next to him, leaning into his chest. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do anymore. I don¡¯t want to force her.¡±

    ¡°Then don¡¯t,¡± he said. ¡°This is a hard time for all of them. Let them process it.¡±

    ¡°She worries me. I don¡¯t want her to go back to¡­¡±

    ¡°As long as we remind her we¡¯re here for her, I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll feel better in time.¡±

    ¡°I hope so.¡± My phone dinged. Opening it, I saw an email from GeneusLabs.

    I sat up abruptly, startling Davis. He muted the TV. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Did you get this?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± He read my screen, his ocean blue eyes widening. He took out his own phone and checked his email. ¡°I¡­ I think it went to Spam.¡±

    ¡°Should I¡­¡±

    ¡°Open it,¡± he said, a bit urgently. He continued searching his overflowing inboxes, filled with unopened emails from work and websites.

    Swallowing, I tapped the email open.

    To: [email protected]</a>

    From: [email protected]</a>

    Re: Maternity Test Results for Susan Field-Diana Watson

    Dear Susan,

    We hope this email finds you well. We have completed our process and sent you the results of the recent maternity test you ordered¡­

    I looked away. I couldn¡¯t read further. What if it was negative? Our relationship with Diana wouldn¡¯t change, of course, but¡­ disappointment would be inevitable.

    Why did we do this? This was such a bad idea.

    ¡°I found it, Susan,¡± Davis said.

    ¡°What does it say?¡±

    ¡°Haven¡¯t read it.¡±

    We sat in silence, our phone sitting comfortably in our sweating hands. I rested my head back, my heart going at 200 beats per minute.

    Was this how Diana felt all the time? This constant sense of fear, anticipation, worry? How did she live for so many years having to deal with these stomach-twisting feelings every single day? With no one to hold her hand and comfort her?

    Davis and I interlocked fingers. ¡°You want me to read mine, or¡­?¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°She might hear it. Let¡¯s just read, and¡­ if it¡¯s a no, it¡¯s a no.¡±

    He nodded. ¡°One¡­¡±

    ¡°Two¡­¡± We breathed in. ¡°Three.¡±

    My eyes scrolled through the lengthy email, searching for the word I hoped was in there, but doubted I would find. It was like sitting through an action movie climax, waiting for the rising action to finally reach its peak and for the main character to jump off the cliff and fly down in a parachute. Numbers and scientific jargon swam through my eyes.

    ¡­ these positive STR loci results confirm the biological relationship between yourself and the other tested individual¡­

    It took me a moment to realize I¡¯d found my answer.

    I nearly choked. My voice stuck in my throat as I stared. ¡®Positive¡¯. ¡®Biological relationship¡¯.

    ¡°D-Davis?¡± I choked out, trying to control my reaction. I looked at him, seeing the same expression on his face. His eyes filled with tears and he smiled, letting out a suppressed sob.

    We rose from the sofa and embraced each other tightly, both shaking with tears of joy and praises to God. I couldn¡¯t believe my prayers were answered. How could we deserve such a gift, after all we did?

    Maybe it was more for her than for us¡­

    ¡°Should we tell her?¡± he whispered.

    ¡°I¡­ yes, but¡­¡± My hands shaking, I called Kyle, heading to the kitchen to talk. We needed everyone to be here for this.

    ¡°Yeah, Mom?¡±

    ¡°Kyle, uh¡­ could you come home?¡± My voice trembled.

    ¡°Oh, my God, what happened?¡±

    ¡°Nothing! Nothing. It¡¯s actually¡­ it¡¯s something really great. But you need to be home. Now. Please. It¡¯s good, I promise.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­¡± He sounded doubtful. I heard him speak, probably to Nicole. He then said, ¡°We¡¯re on our way. Nicole¡¯s dropping me off.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I know you guys were out.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s cool, Mom. If it¡¯s important, I get it.¡±

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll see you.¡± I hung up, hearing Davis talking to Jack in the other room.

    ¡°Jack, why do you¡­? It¡¯s a surprise.¡± A pause. ¡°No- oh, you¡¯re just like your mother¡­¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± I dialed Harry¡¯s number.

    It took a while for the boys to get back. It was extremely hard to contain our excitement. All the while, those present pestered us, annoyed by our secrecy.

    Harry was the last one to get back home. We called everyone, including Lonnie, to the living room. Sensing our joy, his usual smile returned, his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging.

    Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

    ¡°Okay, what¡¯s going on? You guys are being weird,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°Is there a Christmas present you forgot?¡± Harry asked.

    ¡°Is it an Xbox Series X?!¡± Tommy exclaimed.

    I smacked him with a pillow. ¡°You have a PS5!¡±

    ¡°Just asking.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s bigger than that.¡±

    ¡°Then spill.¡±

    We glanced at each other, deciding who should go first. Davis finally turned to our foster¡­ our daughter.

    Our daughter.

    ¡°Diana,¡± he addressed. ¡°I know¡­ you¡¯re probably gonna be a bit¡­ we¡¯re sorry about this. We didn¡¯t mean to go behind your back again. I swear, we just wanted to¡­ take a chance. And we didn¡¯t tell you¡ª any of you¡ª because you¡¯re going through a lot already, and this would be something else to think about, so we didn¡¯t say anything.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Diana¡¯s eyes blinked rapidly.

    Her eyes¡­ just like Amy¡¯s. Just like Kyle¡¯s. A blend of us both. Her hair was mine. Her face¡­

    ¡°Could you talk now?¡± Davis asked me.

    My mouth dry, I tried to swallow and speak clearly. ¡°Diana. We¡¯ve been thinking about¡­ everything that¡¯s happened up to now. We know it probably should¡¯ve been different, but we¡¯re here now. We¡¯ve¡­¡± I glanced at my husband, gripping his warm fingers. ¡°We¡¯ve thought about you¡­ and Amy, and how much you look like her. I even looked at your birth certificates. That¡¯s when I noticed¡­ you were born at the same hospital.¡±

    All of them reacted quietly, but their expressions were loud. Diana¡¯s cheeks lost their color.

    ¡°I thought that was weird, you know? Same hospital, same day, same¡­ face. Almost.¡± I cleared my throat. ¡°So we sent a spoon with your DNA on it to a lab¡ª that¡¯s the part we¡¯re apologizing for. We were going to ask you, but if the results came back negative, we didn¡¯t want that to affect you, or anyone else.¡± My jaw trembled as I gazed at her face¡ª our daughter¡¯s face. Diana¡¯s face. ¡°I do want to¡­ make it clear that we would¡¯ve loved you either way, okay? And we¡¯re sorry we failed you so much.¡± Davis embraced me, also tearing up. ¡°We¡¯re sorry for failing all of you. We haven¡¯t been good parents to any of you, not even Amy. And we¡¯re so sorry.¡±

    Everyone¡¯s eyes turned glassy. Davis¡¯s hand trembled as he brought out his phone, the email opened, and gave it to Diana to read. Her sea green eyes flickered across the screen, unreadable.

    ¡°My God.¡± Kyle covered his mouth, shocked.

    ¡°Wh-what does it say?¡± Harry asked, though they all knew the answer.

    Diana¡¯s voice faltered a bit as tears leaked. ¡°Po¡­ positive paternity test.¡±

    I showed her my phone. She chuckled tearfully, adding, ¡°And maternity test.¡±

    ¡°But how did¡­?¡± Jack began.

    ¡°We think she was switched with¡­ Julia,¡± Davis explained.

    ¡°So¡­ Julia was never¡­?¡±

    We nodded.

    ¡°She was¡­ her parents¡¯¡­¡±

    Wordlessly, Harry stood and wrapped Diana in a tight embrace. He was followed by his brothers, then by us. Lonnie panted excitedly, also joining in the tearful, but joyful group hug.

    Squeezing my arms around my family, I looked up, practically feeling Amy smiling down at us. She had a sister. A twin. How I wished she could¡¯ve known her¡­

    But she was here now. She was safe now. She didn¡¯t have to worry about those people getting out of jail. She didn¡¯t have to worry about aging out.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I whispered, keeping my eyes trained above.

    ~~~

    Diana

    I woke up humming a tune. It wasn¡¯t a familiar tune, but for some reason, I was humming it continuously, as if I knew it all my life. I wasn¡¯t sure what it was.

    The tune continued, even after I¡¯d stopped humming. Turning over, a little girl sat on the floor, playing with a doll. I couldn¡¯t really see the doll, though. It was weirdly distorted, as if I weren¡¯t allowed to see it.

    ¡°Who are you?¡± I asked, sitting up.

    The little girl ignored me, continuing her humming.

    ¡°Are you¡­ me? But¡­¡± Usually, when I started thinking to myself, I¡¯d envision versions around 10 years old, mostly. Most of my younger versions weren¡¯t in my mind¡¯s eye. I wouldn¡¯t think about those times too much.

    She kept humming, ignoring me completely. I sighed, a bit impatient, and hung my legs over the edge of the bed. ¡°Okay, I know you¡¯re me. Pretty sure I¡¯m dreaming, too. What do you want?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t remember that song?¡± she asked.

    ¡°What song?¡±

    ¡°That one.¡± She hummed again, brushing her doll¡¯s hair. ¡°You don¡¯t remember?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s sad,¡± she said. ¡°You don¡¯t remember a lotta things.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°You dream a lot. And you think a lot. But you don¡¯t know a lot. You don¡¯t want to. You hided it in your head.¡±

    I shook my head, confused. ¡°I legit don¡¯t know-¡±

    ¡°Mommy said I was smart. So if you¡¯re Big Me, you should be smart. But you¡¯re not. Not if you forgetted our song.¡±

    ¡°Oh, so I¡¯m dumb if I don¡¯t remember a song?¡± I approached her. ¡°What are you doing, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Playing with my doll. Did you forget her, too?¡± She held it out to me; it was as if it were made of static. I couldn¡¯t really comprehend what it looked like.

    As I reached out to take it, an iron hand gripped my fist, a dark shadow casting over me. Looking up, I saw him. The same face that greeted me on Halloween night. The same face that I feared over 12 years ago.

    He wasn¡¯t my uncle. Soon, the system would hand me over to my real parents for good, and I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about him. He wasn¡¯t in my life anymore. He had no control.

    ¡°You little rat,¡± he growled. ¡°You¡¯re mine. You know that. You¡¯ll always be mine.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t move. I wanted to punch him, kick him, pull away. But my body was locked in place.

    ¡°You¡¯ll never escape. You¡¯ll always be the pathetic, disgusting little orphan you were 12 years ago.¡±

    His hand left my wrist, leaving it aching, and I fell against the wall. I could only watch as he approached Little Me, snatching her doll away and holding her in the air as he screamed curses at her. Her small hands clawed at his larger, thicker fingers, futilely trying to fight back.

    ¡°Stop it!¡± I stood, barreling towards him with all my weight and strength. Instead, I went right through him, collapsing on the floor. My surroundings blurred and rippled.

    Looking down, I saw the doll. It was still distorted, but it was getting clearer. I could just about see its face¡­

    Which turned into a Golden Retriever¡¯s face, licking me on my forehead.

    I gasped, scared out of my mind. I was tangled in my sheets, lying next to my bed. Lonnie whimpered and lied across me.

    ¡°Oh, God¡­ Lonnie, I¡¯m fine. Just let me get up.¡± I patted his head and got myself out of my mess of sheets and comforters. I was wearing my smart watch, which read 6:05 AM. I groaned.

    As I got back into bed, Lonnie jumping up with me, the dream returned to my mind. His face flashed before my eyes.

    I clutched my blankets. I was safe, right? Once the court proceedings were over, I¡¯d have my new birth certificate, and I¡¯d be part of the Fields. I wouldn¡¯t have to go back. They weren¡¯t my bio family.

    But what if they didn¡¯t want to let me go? What if they fought? What if they tried to take me away? What if Ms. Bredlong¡­?

    Lonnie¡¯s weight pressed against me, calming me down. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his warmth and the softness of his fur. My bed was probably going to be full of dog hair after this.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want them to take me, Lonnie,¡± I whispered.

    He licked me, as if he could understand me. They won¡¯t, Diana.

    ¡°But what if they do? What if¡­?¡± I closed my eyes. I needed to talk to someone. I didn¡¯t want to worry my foster¡­ my family.

    I couldn¡¯t get used to the idea. Me? Having a family? A real one? Having parents¡­ and brothers? It seemed so impossible.

    Was that why I always felt that strange connection with them, even when the boys didn¡¯t like me? Was that why I cared so much about how they treated me?

    There was so much to think about. Too much. It was just too good to be true. There had to be something waiting for me¡ª some bad news. There had to be something that would stop me from having a family.

    My eyes roved over my room¡ª Amy¡¯s room. Would this have been our room, if I hadn¡¯t been switched? Would we have a different life? Would Amy still have died? What would have happened to my other parents? They would have discovered their daughter was dead. Would they have died still?

    Why couldn¡¯t it just happen that way? If they would die anyway, why wasn¡¯t it so? Pat and Kim probably would¡¯ve stayed the same. I would¡¯ve been fine, living with my family, with my sister. My twin. What was the purpose of this switch? Why did I have to go through¡­ all of that?!

    I abruptly got out of bed, leaving Lonnie. He watched me intently, standing on the mattress. I looked out the window at the sky. Was that where ¡®Heaven¡¯ was, if it was even real? Could he see me or hear me?

    ¡°Are you even there?¡± I said aloud. I glanced at the door, which was open, as it had to be. But maybe if I closed it for just a few minutes¡­

    I glanced at my camera. I was almost sure its microphone was off. Susan and Davis weren¡¯t that intrusive. And Lonnie was here with me. I quietly closed my door.

    I turned to the window. I felt kind of ridiculous doing this¡­ then again, I talked to ¡®little versions¡¯ of myself all the time, so there wasn¡¯t much of a difference. Maybe I was crazy, like so many people told me over the years.

    People I wouldn¡¯t have met if I¡¯d stayed with my family in the first place.

    ¡°I don¡¯t get why it¡¯s somehow in your ¡®plan¡¯ to switch me with another baby at birth¡ª a dead baby, on top of that,¡± I said. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have been¡­ this. Diana Watson. That shouldn¡¯t have been me. I should¡¯ve been with this family, from the very beginning.¡± I scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re God, right? Why did you let all of this¡­ happen? What did I do wrong?¡±

    Lonnie stared up at me, as if wondering who I was talking to. Even the dog thought I was crazy. But I kept going.

    ¡°I went through hell!¡± I yelled. ¡°I went from house to house, getting beaten, starved, thrown, yelled at, spit at¡­ tortured! All my life! And then I finally get to be with my real family, and I still had to put up with all the ¡®stuff¡¯ I went through? I still had to suffer before knowing that they were my actual parents, my actual brothers. Why? I don¡¯t get it!¡±

    I glanced at the Bible in my bookshelf. Susan and Davis gave it to me, ¡®just in case I wanted to read¡¯. Out of respect, I kept it, but I wasn¡¯t inclined to read it.

    ¡°I¡¯ll read it. I¡¯ll read that book of yours,¡± I said, pointing at it. ¡°People say the answer¡¯s always in there. Then prove it! I¡¯ll read it, and if it answers my questions, then fine. If not¡­ then I was right! Because I don¡¯t get it. I really don¡¯t.¡± I wiped away tears, just realizing I was crying. I sat down, petting Lonnie as he propped himself up on my lap.

    ¡°I get that¡­ I did really ¡®bad¡¯ things,¡± I continued, quieter now. ¡°I¡¯ve hurt people. I¡¯ve lied, and stolen, and wished death on people. Even other kids. But the only reason I became like that was because of everything I went through. I would¡¯ve been¡­ good¡­ if I had the life I was supposed to have. I was four. Four. What did I do wrong back then? What did my ¡®parents¡¯ do?¡± I made quotes with my fingers, assuming I was being seen at all. ¡°They just wanted to see my grandma¡­ or, not my grandma, but you get it. The drunk driver¡­ why didn¡¯t he go what I¡¯m going through?¡±

    I looked back at my door. Thankfully, no one seemed to hear me, despite me being really loud.

    ¡°What about them? Why take me away from them? Why make them think their daughter died¡ª and then taking away their other daughter? An innocent girl like Amy? Why do that? What was the point?¡±

    I stood again, pacing like a lion. I didn¡¯t know what else to say. I wasn¡¯t even sure why I even bothered talking. Glancing at the Bible again, I yanked it out of my shelf and threw it on my bed with a growl. Trying to understand any of this was pointless.

    A knock interrupted me. ¡°Di? You good?¡± Harry asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine, Harry,¡± I sighed. I rested on my bed again, suddenly drained of all my energy.

    ¡°Just checking up on you. Is it okay if I open the door?¡±

    I turned over, about to answer, but the book caught my eye. Instinctively, I read the words in my field of vision.

    ¡°Diana?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure, open it.¡±

    He did so, peeking in. ¡°You sure you¡¯re okay?¡±

    I sat in front of the Bible, hoping he hadn¡¯t seen it. ¡°Yeah, just kind of¡­ thinking out loud, I guess. I didn¡¯t mean to be that loud, though. I¡¯m sorry I woke you up.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good,¡± he chuckled. ¡°I was already up. You want me to stay, or¡­?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna try and go back to sleep.¡±

    ¡°You are okay, right?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine, Harry.¡± I smiled.

    ¡°I¡¯m right here if you need me.¡± He left. With a sigh, I grumpily closed the book and put it back on my shelf. I said I¡¯d read it; just not now.

    I collapsed on my bed, exhausted, and closed my eyes. The three words I read were carved in my vision.

    Crown of thorns.

 38~ Witness

    01.16.24

    Dear Diary, I¡¯m still counting the days until I get my birth certificate. Susan called Mr. Brian and he said he¡¯d do everything he could to get me emancipated from the system and under the Fields¡¯ custody as soon as possible. I¡¯m anxious to disown the Watson name; I still see my ¡®other¡¯ parents as my <u>parents</u>, sorta, but the Watson name brings me too close to Pat and Kim, even if they¡¯re not actual Watsons themselves (their name is Dossi).

    Charlotte and Stuart named me Diana, so that name will hold their memory. But ¡®Field¡¯ is what I should¡¯ve been, and what I will be from now on.

    Right now, it¡¯s just a waiting game. I¡¯m going through my daily life, doing homework, taking classes, sometimes talking to my friends. I¡¯ve felt a little better lately. Monica is still on my mind, of course, but knowing I actually have a family now is enough to really bring my spirits up.

    How I wish she could¡¯ve been here to see it. I would¡¯ve loved to tell her. It hurts, knowing she¡¯ll never know I was her best friend¡¯s sister. And my sister will never know, either.

    I still can¡¯t believe it. Many times, I wake up thinking it was a dream and that I¡¯ll get taken away again. It¡¯s hard to grasp the reality of my bloodline. Could it be that I looked so similar to my <u>other</u> mom that the nurses confused me and Julia? People did always say I had her eyes.

    I expected everything to be kinda weird between me and the boys the day after, but our relationships feel a lot more relaxed (?). Or natural. It¡¯s just different, knowing we have the same DNA.

    ~~~

    01.18.24

    Dear Diary, we put up all of Amy¡¯s pictures again. We emptied all the boxes in the attic. We also put up new nails on the walls for my future pictures. I¡¯m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I¡¯m staying. The legalities are still in process, but Mr. Brian said it should be easy, since they were already my host family, and my original ¡®bio¡¯ family is still on parole and in a very bad position to fight for custody. It was likely I¡¯d age out of the system with the Fields anyway.

    I still have that underlying paranoia, though. Everything just seems too happy, too perfect. I¡¯ve learned to not get too comfortable. I¡¯ll still be watching for anything that might try to stop me from being with my real family.

    ~~~

    01.19.24

    I keep having these nightmares, I see him, I feel him grabbing me and snatching me, dragging me out the door, and they¡¯re just standing there, not doing anything, letting me go, telling me I was too much, even Lonnie was just sitting there, like he was tired of me, I¡¯m so scared, I don¡¯t know what to do

    ~~~

    01.20.24

    I don¡¯t do well with speaking, because I just get ¡®ticked¡¯ off and start yelling, so I¡¯m gonna write to you from now on.

    I started reading your book, from the first chapter, with Adam and Eve. What I don¡¯t get is: you told them not to eat from that specific tree, but they did anyway. Why didn¡¯t you just stop them? You could just make them leave and they wouldn¡¯t have met the snake and stuff.

    That¡¯s why I feel like you could¡¯ve just kept me with my birth family and have none of this happen. I didn¡¯t have to go through what I went through.

    But it¡¯s just the beginning, and I don¡¯t know you very well, so I¡¯m gonna keep reading and see what you mean by everything. I guess it¡¯s stupid that I¡¯m literally questioning the origins of humanity. This is stuff I probably won¡¯t be able to understand. I¡¯ll keep going, like I promised. I¡¯ve broken a lot of promises, but this is one I¡¯ll keep.

    ~~~

    01.23.24

    I know this is the Old Testament, but geez, how many laws are there? How are we supposed to follow all of them? It seems almost impossible to get to Heaven if these are the laws and if we don¡¯t follow them, we don¡¯t get in. Why don¡¯t you just make us follow them? Why do you let us do stuff that clearly violates what you want?

    ~~~

    01.24.24

    So, I told Susan I was reading the Bible, but that I didn¡¯t understand. She said I could talk to their pastor and ask him, since he studies it and teaches about it. I¡¯m gonna think about it, but I¡¯m not really thrilled about going back to that church to ask questions. People at the church were so judgy when I went.

    That¡¯s <u>another</u> thing. These people are supposed to be your followers, right? So how come they¡¯re so judgy? How come they gossip and put others down? That¡¯s not what your people are supposed to do, right? Don¡¯t you tell them what to do?

    ~~~

    01.25.24

    Dear Diary, all the court proceedings are almost done. Our hearing was yesterday. I zoned out through most of the legal jargon, but it seems like I¡¯m going to be a Field soon! Even Ms. Bredlong was okay with it. Go figure.

    I¡¯m still reading the Bible and stuff. So many questions in my head. I¡¯m still in the Old Testament, so maybe the New Testament will explain a lot of stuff? It¡¯s a bit early to question why if I haven¡¯t finished the whole thing. I¡¯m surprised I¡¯ve gotten so far already.

    Lots of the people in the Bible did a lot of bad things. I always imagined they were perfect people, but they actually ¡®messed¡¯ up a lot and broke the laws, did bad things. How did they get into Heaven anyway? Did God just¡­ forgive them?

    ~~~

    01.27.23

    Dear Diary, I got my birth certificate!!! It literally felt like my birthday. I ripped the envelope open, and showed everyone, and they all clapped and hugged me. Lots of happy tears all around. I¡¯ve never felt so happy. The girls came over to celebrate with me, too; the boys also invited their girlfriends. What a difference without Shirley! We had pizza and cake, watched a movie. It was honestly one of the most fun days of my life. I¡¯ve never felt so happy!

    Tony couldn¡¯t come, but he video called me. We talked for <u>hours</u>. I find it pretty easy to talk to him. There¡¯s this connection we have¡­ I can¡¯t describe it. I always feel so calm around him, even through a screen.

    I feel like this is the first time I¡¯ve written to you saying I¡¯m happy without pretending. I seriously feel like I¡¯ve accomplished a lot just by being a Field. Seeing my name on there¡ª Diana Brianna <u>Field</u>. It feels so unreal.

    ~~~

    January 28<sup>th</sup>, 2024

    ¡°So¡­ Winter Formal is coming up,¡± Tony told me as I did my homework. My phone was propped up against a pile of books so I could talk to him in the meanwhile. It got boring, just writing and studying.

    ¡°Really? What¡¯s that?¡± I asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s another school dance they do. It¡¯s gonna be in February,¡± he explained.

    ¡°Oh, nice. Like Homecoming?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, kinda like that. More formal than that.¡±

    ¡°That sounds fun.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°You know¡­ I haven¡¯t really seen you in a while. Besides our calls and stuff.¡±

    ¡°I know, I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s just been so crazy the past couple months. The last time was, what, Thanksgiving?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. And don¡¯t be sorry, I get it. I¡¯ve been busy, too.¡± He cleared his throat again. ¡°I was just¡­ wondering.¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm?¡±

    ¡°For Winter Formal¡­ don¡¯t feel bad about saying no, but I thought we could¡­ go together?¡±

    I paused, looking at his reddened face through the phone. I tried not to laugh. It was honestly adorable when he got nervous.

    ¡°This would be with the rest of the school, though, right?¡± I said.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ but we don¡¯t have to go with them. We could do the same we did last time,¡± he proposed, his voice¡¯s pitch going higher as he got more red.

    I bit my lips together. I didn¡¯t want him to think I was making fun of him. Before I could answer, however, his camera suddenly shook and he looked down. ¡°Addie, no,¡± he said. ¡°No, I¡¯m not. I am not! Stop.¡±

    I giggled. ¡°Is that Addie?¡±

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    The phone shook and I heard Tony say, ¡°Hey!¡±. Addie¡¯s adorable face appeared and she waved.

    ¡°Hi!¡± I waved back.

    Tony took the phone back, signing with one hand. ¡°Give me that.¡± A pause. ¡°Okay, but let me hold the phone so you can sign. Ask permission. Geez.¡± He turned the phone so I could see his sister. ¡°Sorry, Di.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good.¡± I smiled.

    ¡°Hi!¡± She used a sign I didn¡¯t know after she waved. ¡°I miss you. When are you gonna come over again? I want to show you my new Barbie!¡± she signed.

    ¡°Aww, I miss you too!¡± I said, signing along with my words. I was still a little clumsy, but the ASL classes I had were pretty good. ¡°I¡¯ll see if I can come by soon. It depends when your brother¡¯s free.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s free this weekend!¡±

    ¡°Addie!¡± The camera shook again.

    She gave him a ¡°what?¡± look and continued talking to me. ¡°You can come over on Saturday. All he does is play videogames and eat¡­¡± She spelled out a brand name, but I couldn¡¯t keep up.

    ¡°That¡¯s enough.¡± Tony turned the phone back around, his face coated in mortification. ¡°Uh¡­ I am free Saturday. But I do more than that. Just saying.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help laughing this time. ¡°I¡¯m free, too. I do homework early, anyway. I can go over.¡± I returned to my homework, remembering its existence. ¡°Um¡­ what was that sign?¡±

    ¡°What sign?¡±

    ¡°This one.¡± I repeated the sign she used that I hadn¡¯t learned. ¡°What does that mean?¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ I didn¡¯t notice that. Addie.¡± He signed, ¡°What does ¡®this¡¯ sign mean?¡± He paused as she answered and smiled. ¡°Congratulations.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve officially gotten a sign name.¡±

    ¡°A sign¡­¡± I stammered. ¡°Wow. Tell her thank you!¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s asking if you like it,¡± he said.

    ¡°I love it! It¡¯s beautiful. Thank you, Addie!¡±

    He signed ¡®thank you¡¯ to her for me. ¡°So¡­ Saturday¡¯s good?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, Saturday¡¯s good.¡±

    ¡°You want me to pick you up?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± A giddy feeling coiled in my stomach. ¡°And, uh¡­ I¡¯ll get back to you on that Winter Formal thing.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure, there¡¯s plenty of time to think about it.¡± Tony¡¯s surroundings changed as he moved around his house. He suddenly paused. ¡°What the¡­?¡±

    I glanced at him. ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°Mom, is that here?¡± I heard his mother respond, but I couldn¡¯t really hear it. The connection was a bit weak. ¡°That¡¯s so close.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°A murder.¡±

    ¡°A murder?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, they found a body and they¡¯re chasing the guy that did it.¡±

    ¡°Seriously?¡± I left my desk, heading down to the living room. Lonnie followed me. If that was nearby, I wanted to know what places to avoid when I jogged. Despite the cold, I loved going out to run. ¡°What channel is that?¡±

    ¡°Triangle News,¡± he replied.

    I entered the living room. To my surprise, the boys were there, watching a soap opera. Only watching¡ª they were yelling over the dialogue.

    ¡°Is she stupid or something?!¡± Tommy yelled.

    ¡°He literally cheated on her, like, five times,¡± said Kyle. He shook his head. ¡°What¡¯s in this for her? Seriously.¡±

    ¡°Uh, guys?¡±

    They looked at me. ¡°Hey, Di. You want to watch Heart of Spades with us?¡±

    Jack groaned. ¡°We¡¯ll have to explain everything. We¡¯re on Season 5.¡±

    ¡°We can go back-¡±

    They immediately protested. ¡°I¡¯m not living through another breakup between Elaine and Rodrigo!¡± Tommy cried dramatically.

    ¡°Way to spoil it for her, dumb-butt.¡± Kyle threw a cushion at him.

    ¡°Uh¡­ I¡¯m fine, actually.¡± I glanced between them, questioning reality. These were my brothers? ¡°I was gonna ask if I could borrow the TV. There¡¯s a news thing I want to see.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re watching Heart of Spades?¡± Tony asked.

    ¡°Who¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°No one. Just put on the news, please.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Tony!¡± Harry exited the app they were on for me and handed me the remote. I tried not to blush in shame as I went to the Triangle News channel. On the screen, a helicopter camera was following a police car chasing a pickup truck down the highway.

    ¡°¡­ on Route 12, police are still in pursuit of the suspected perpetrator, he- oh, my God, he almost hit somebody. High-speed chases on highways like this are especially dangerous¡­¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right here. That¡¯s coming into Kooskia,¡± Kyle pointed out.

    ¡°Yeah, they found the body in Clearwater River,¡± Tony said.

    ¡°Body?¡±

    ¡°They said this guy murdered someone, and he lives pretty close to this area.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s creepy to know,¡± Tommy remarked.

    We watched in silence as the chase continued. My phone then beeped with a text message. Staying on Tony¡¯s call, I checked, seeing Thelma typing. Diana did u see the news?

    ¡°Thelma¡¯s watching, too,¡± I said, texting back, Yea I¡¯m watching right now. So scary

    I know that truck, she then said.

    You do?

    It looks familiar. I cant really put my finger on it, but if i got a closer look maybe I could tell. Ik ive seen that truck before

    The murder happened in our area, so maybe you did see it around.

    ¡°OH- holy-¡± The boys reacted as the pickup recklessly turned into an exit, sending another car to the curb. The impact steered the pickup towards the edge of the road, ending in it crashing into the trees. It wasn¡¯t a really severe crash, but it looked pretty harsh.

    ¡°Police are now reaching the suspect,¡± the newscaster said, ¡°looks like they¡¯re about to arrest him- oh, no, he¡¯s on the move!¡±

    The suspect was a tall man in a thick black jacket and gloves, his face concealed by a ski mask. What a clich¨¦. He clutched his shoulder as he clumsily ran away from the police, probably injured from the crash.

    ¡°Let¡¯s hope he can¡¯t- oh, there goes the taser. Thank God. They got him.¡± We watched as the man convulsed on the floor before the police held him down and put him in cuffs. His ski mask was ripped off his head, but the camera was too zoomed out for us to properly see his face.

    I squinted at the man as they led him to the police car and held him by the arms, one of the policemen talking to him. Probably reading him his rights.

    The newscaster continued. ¡°For those joining us, we have just witnessed the high-speed pursuit and arrest of a first-degree murder suspect. Police caught him trying to move a body from the Clearwater River to another location; the body was identified as 42-year old Kimmie Dossi, who was reported missing last month.¡±

    The name immediately weakened my knees. I gripped the couch, my phone falling from my hand. It slid down the cushions and hit Harry¡¯s shoulder as it landed on the seat.

    ¡°Di? You good?¡± he asked, picking it up.

    ¡°You drop the phone?¡± Tony chuckled on the screen.

    My eyes were fixated on the TV as I studied the ¡®suspect¡¯. It couldn¡¯t be him. No way.

    ¡°G-give me my phone.¡± My heart pounded, vibrating throughout my body. I quickly texted Thelma, Do you recognize anything about that guy?

    I think so, he looks familiar. Its too far for me to tell, she said.

    ¡°Diana? What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    ¡°Can you rewind it? Or is it¡­?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure.¡± Harry rewound it for me. ¡°Up to when?¡±

    ¡°A couple minutes.¡±

    Once he played it, I listened carefully, waiting for the name to come up again.

    ¡°¡­ the body was identified as 42-year old Kimmie Dossi, who was reported missing last month¡­¡±

    Lonnie whimpered, pawing me as my vision blurred. While I was still in my right mind, I went to the sofa and sat down, letting him calm me. Harry scooted closer to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

    ¡°Everything okay?¡± Tony asked, still on the call.

    ¡°What happened?¡± My other brothers approached.

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± My voice failed me. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ my aunt.¡±

    ¡°Your aunt?¡±

    ¡°Or¡­ I thought she was my aunt.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°The missing woman. Kimmie Dossi. That¡¯s her name.¡±

    ¡°You sure?¡± said Tommy. ¡°It could be someone else.¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s her. I know that¡¯s her.¡± Thoughts popped into my head every two milliseconds. That Halloween, when I saw him. That evening when I saw that man load a body into a pickup truck. The way he would always slap Kim and regularly tell her he would kill her someday. Then the way Kim would blame me and her kids for the way Pat treated her, taking all her anger out on us.

    Had I gone to their new address that day, after I¡¯d confronted Ivy at the outlet? Was that Pat I saw loading¡­ Kim¡¯s body¡­?

    My stomach squeezed at the thought. I clung to Harry, who ran his hand up and down my back, giving me calming words that would amount to nothing.

    I knew it. I knew that as soon as I felt free, or happy, or anything positive, something would come to ruin it. The curse was still on me.

    ~~~

    February 9<sup>th</sup>, 2024

    I hadn¡¯t been able to enjoy a lot of things the past two weeks or so. I was sleep-deprived, to the point that I canceled going to Tony¡¯s that weekend. I hated disappointing him and Addie, but I couldn¡¯t go to their house and pretend nothing was wrong.

    A couple days after the chase, the news announced that it was Patrick Dossi¡ª who used to be my ¡®uncle¡¯¡ª who was arrested for murdering his wife. He would be on trial for first-degree murder soon.

    Every night, I could see his face. I saw him hitting Kim, felt him hitting me, telling me he would kill me if I didn¡¯t leave him alone. A little four-year old girl.

    I sometimes felt like he would crawl through my window any second at night. I¡¯d imagine him strangling me or suffocating me with my pillow. He knew I¡¯d seen him that night. He wanted me to be quiet.

    ¡°Diana, you okay?¡± Susan gently took my hand. We were all at the table for breakfast. The boys were all going to school, I would be in my room, as always, and Susan and Davis were working. They were actually looking to work from home, but it would take some time.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I said. ¡°A lot on my mind.¡±

    ¡°Is there anything you want to talk about?¡±

    I smiled. ¡°No, I¡¯m okay. It¡¯s just¡­ random thoughts.¡± I couldn¡¯t really talk about it even if I wanted to. It was so much¡­

    A car approached outside. Davis glanced out the window, scrunching his brows. ¡°Anyone coming today?¡±

    ¡°Not that I know of,¡± said Susan.

    He discreetly parted the curtain to see. ¡°Someone¡¯s coming.¡± The doorbell then rang.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get it.¡± Susan wiped her mouth with her napkin and rose from her chair, answering. We heard her talking to someone, but couldn¡¯t make out the words. She said, ¡°Thank you¡± and closed the door, returning with a troubled look on her face and some envelopes.

    ¡°What is it?¡± said Jack.

    ¡°They¡¯re subpoenas.¡±

    ¡°What? Why?¡±

    She opened one of the envelopes, reading the document inside. ¡°Diana.¡±

    I froze, closing my eyes. This couldn¡¯t be happening. This couldn¡¯t be real. There was no way.

    ¡°You are hereby commanded to appear at the Idaho County District Court on¡­ March 11<sup>th</sup>, 10am,¡± she read. Before she could continue, I stood, pacing while trying to breathe.

    ¡°Why is she getting a subpoena?¡± Kyle asked.

    ¡°The State of Idaho vs. Patrick Dossi?¡±

    ¡°Is this about that car chase last week?¡± said Davis. ¡°What does she have to do with it?¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t Patrick Dossi your¡­ ¡®uncle¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but they¡¯re not related,¡± said Tommy. ¡°I don¡¯t see why she has to show up in court if they haven¡¯t seen each other in over ten years.¡±

    ¡°I saw him,¡± I blurted out, stopping my pace. There was no use hiding it now.

    ¡°You saw him? When?¡±

    ¡°About¡­ over a month ago.¡± I sighed, gripping my pants. ¡°Remember when I was jogging, and I got home kind of late?¡±

    ¡°When you had a fight with Ivy?¡± Kyle asked me.

    I nodded. ¡°Well¡­ I was upset, but there was more that happened.¡± Swallowing, I told them the story; how I got lost, how I saw Pat loading Kim¡¯s body into his truck, how I didn¡¯t see his face or realize it was him. All their faces showed nothing but dread at the end.

    ¡°Honey, why didn¡¯t you say anything?¡± Susan exclaimed.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t even sure if it was real,¡± I explained. I crouched, hugging Lonnie. ¡°You guys know that I have my¡­ ¡®moments¡¯. I didn¡¯t know what to do.¡±

    Susan silently read the other subpoena. ¡°This is for us. She¡¯s a minor, so they want us there with her.¡±

    ¡°All of us?¡±

    ¡°Just me and Davis.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do this.¡± I went to the living room so I could lie down on the sofa. ¡°I can¡¯t do this. I can¡¯t go there.¡±

    ¡°Diana, we don¡¯t have a choice.¡± Susan followed me. ¡°A subpoena is-¡±

    ¡°I know what it is, Susan!¡± I snapped. I didn¡¯t want to be so upset, but the whole situation was sending my heart into overdrive. ¡°I can¡¯t do it! If I go, I¡¯ll have to see him again, and I can¡¯t see him, I can¡¯t look at his face and just tell them what I saw, not without-¡±

    ¡°Diana, try to breathe, okay?¡± Harry took my hand as Lonnie jumped on the sofa, lying on top of me to calm me down.

    ¡°How do they even know I saw him?¡± I sniffled, stroking Lonnie¡¯s fur. ¡°No one was around. There couldn¡¯t have been a camera, right?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you lose your bracelet?¡± Kyle said.

    ¡°You lost your bracelet?¡± Susan said.

    ¡°How would they know it was hers?¡± asked Jack. ¡°Unless she put her name on it.¡±

    I sighed. ¡°Yeah¡­ I did.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ then that¡¯s probably how.¡±

    ¡°You must¡¯ve dropped it at his house when you saw him,¡± said Kyle.

    ¡°I mean, I fell over in the bushes, so it could¡¯ve.¡± I wiped my eyes. ¡°How am I gonna do this?¡±

    ¡°We have over a month until the trial,¡± Davis said, stroking my hair comfortingly. ¡°We have time, okay? It¡¯s not gonna happen right away.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want it to happen at all.¡± I sniffled, more tears rising up to my tear ducts. ¡°I thought it was all over¡­ I thought I had you guys, and that I could just forget about all of them. I thought it would be over¡­¡±

    This was what I got for thinking positively, even once.

 39~ Facing Demons

    A couple days after the subpoena, Susan and Davis drove me to the police station to talk to the detective about the case. It was a month away, but preparations were in motion.

    The detective was unexpectedly nice. He introduced himself as Detective Alex Poole, a thin man of a warm, rich complexion, like mahogany, and thinning salt-and-pepper hair. In an interrogation room, he asked me about Pat and Kim and how they treated each other, how they abused us, stuff like that.

    At first, I questioned why they needed to talk about what they did to us; that was 12 years ago. Detective Poole explained that the defense wanted to twist the story and make it look like Pat killed Kim in ¡®self-defense¡¯ because she was an ¡®abusive wife¡¯. Worse, the two younger children, Lila and Bernard, were going to testify for the defense. Only Patrick Jr. would tell the truth¡­ and me.

    I wasn¡¯t about to defend Kim and say she was a nice person. She was just as evil as he was, even if he did abuse and kill her. But I didn¡¯t want Patrick to walk free. He needed to be behind bars. He needed to be blocked from harming more people¡­ and me. Even though he wasn¡¯t really my uncle, I was too scared that he¡¯d try to take me back just because he hated me. He wouldn¡¯t want me to be happy.

    With every day, the month grew shorter. It was February 14<sup>th</sup> now; 26 days until the trial. 26 days until I¡¯d have to see that monster¡¯s face again. And that clock was ticking.

    What would I say? I couldn¡¯t just talk about how Pat abused me in that short time. What if they didn¡¯t believe me? What if they thought I was making it up, or filling in blank memories? I couldn¡¯t even remember most of the stuff that happened.

    ¡°You don¡¯t remember because you blocked it,¡± a small voice told me. I sighed, annoyed, and turned to the little girl sitting on my bed behind me. She was around 7 or 8.

    ¡°Did I ask for your input?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m here,¡± she remarked.

    I rolled my eyes, returning to my homework. If I just focused, she¡¯d leave my mind. ¡°I don¡¯t have time for you right now.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re always wasting your time thinking about how much of a victim you are.¡± An older girl suddenly appeared next to her.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I groaned. ¡°I have to deal with both of you now?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s weird. Usually, you think about only one of us.¡±

    ¡°I guess there¡¯s just a lot on your mind,¡± the younger one said. ¡°So, you think you can get Pat in jail?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you don¡¯t say anything, he could just go home.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s other witnesses,¡± I retorted.

    ¡°Yeah, but what if it¡¯s not enough? What if you mess it up?¡±

    ¡°Could you shut up? I¡¯m trying to think.¡± I stared blankly at the math problems on my screen.

    ¡°You are thinking,¡± the older one chuckled. ¡°That¡¯s why we¡¯re here.¡±

    I covered my face, breathing out. This trial would fill my mind until it was over¡­ or maybe it¡¯d keep filling my mind afterwards. I stood, leaving my homework. The only way to get these thoughts out of my head was to properly organize them rather then letting them pile up. Dr. Cawman had taught me a couple techniques to keep my thoughts from overwhelming me.

    ¡°Okay, okay.¡± I shook my hands and wiped them on my shirt. The room had suddenly gotten hot. ¡°So¡­ obviously, I¡¯m thinking about the trial,¡± I told myself. ¡°But why am I thinking about you guys?¡±

    The younger one shrugged. ¡°I dunno. I guess you remember more about me than all the younger versions of you?¡±

    ¡°The last time you were in a court was when you were my age,¡± the older one said.

    I stopped. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you remember? They did a trial to prove the Daniels were abusing me and their kids.¡±

    My head ached lightly and I sat down again. How could I forget that? For years, that memory hadn¡¯t graced my consciousness.

    ¡°But I was mostly just sitting there. I didn¡¯t say a lot,¡± she added. ¡°It was mostly focused on their bio kids.¡±

    ¡°What did I say¡­?¡± I clutched my forehead. ¡°What did I say that day? I¡­ don¡¯t remember anything.¡± The memory of the courtroom flickered weakly in my mind¡¯s eye. It was only seven years ago. It wasn¡¯t that long.

    ¡°I guess I¡¯m here because I¡¯m your earliest memory?¡± the younger one guessed.

    I shook my head. ¡°No, I remember a lot more¡­¡± I winced, stopping, but it was too late. She was here.

    ¡°D-does anyone have a blankie?¡± My 6-year old self shivered, wearing a tattered T-shirt and a skirt. She was drenched, water dripping from her hair, and her face was bruised.

    I approached her, reaching out, and found a towel draped over my arm. I quickly took it and wrapped it around her shoulders. She was still shivering as she looked up at me, as if I betrayed her.

    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like that, please.¡± I turned away.

    ¡°Why? You didn¡¯t do anything to stop it,¡± she said resentfully.

    ¡°What was I supposed to do?!¡± I exclaimed. ¡°A tiny, scrawny little girl against high school boys? Boys that are literally sick in the head and like to torture kids? Yeah, sure, I could do a lot more.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have been in the Basement if you didn¡¯t make everyone hate you!¡± she shouted.

    ¡°Everyone hates me just because! It doesn¡¯t matter what I do!¡±

    ¡°You lied about Brianna, and that¡¯s why she pretended to be me and get them to take me down there! That¡¯s why they did this to me!¡±

    ¡°Brianna?¡± I looked at her. ¡°Who¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°That mean girl. The one that put her shoe in my food,¡± she said. ¡°You told the teacher she poked Ellie with a pencil, and they took her to that basement room, where the mean kids were. So when she came back, she lied about me.¡±

    I stared at her for a little while, then realized I was getting dizzy. There were way too many forgotten memories resurfacing to my mind, all because of this stupid trial. How did I forget so much? Why did I have to do this?

    ¡°Just thinking about it makes you crazy,¡± 7-year old me said. ¡°How are you gonna tell the grown-ups what you saw?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re gonna mess it up, like always,¡± 9-year old me remarked, rolling her eyes.

    ¡°Could you guys just leave me alone?¡±

    ¡°What if you have to make the other bad guys go to jail?¡± the youngest one asked, still shivering and clutching her towel.

    ¡°Other bad guys?¡±

    ¡°All the other families. They all did really mean things, and a lot of them were against the law, you know. The Stevensons, the Brookmans¡­¡± 9-year old me started counting on her fingers.

    ¡°The Jaspers.¡± An even older version of me appeared.

    ¡°The Ellisons,¡± a quiet voice added. In the corner of my room, 11-year old me sat, her knees hugged against her chest. She hardly looked at us, as if ashamed. ¡°He¡­ he did a really b-bad thing.¡± She swallowed. ¡°He should go to jail so he doesn¡¯t do it again. You should do something about it.¡±

    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    ¡°Mr. Tampa should, too.¡± An older me sat in the closet, her hair disheveled and tears staining her face. She also avoided our gazes. ¡°He was taking in another girl after me, remember? What if he did the same thing to her?¡±

    I covered my ears, blocking out their voices. All my thoughts were torturing me. This was way too much pressure.

    Thankfully, they were interrupted by two things: my phone pinging, and Lonnie jumping on my lap to calm the anxiety attack I was having. I petted him and kissed his head before looking at my phone. I was back at my desk, back to normal, and my room was empty.

    t_lowe450: hi Diana, how r u? Been a little while since we texted.

    Guilt flooded my heart. Since the subpoena, I couldn¡¯t really talk a lot. Staying up all night thinking about the moment I¡¯d see his face again had me trapped in an endless brain fog, where I would do nothing but slowly progress through my homework and take brief naps throughout the day.

    I wasn¡¯t allowed to tell anyone I was testifying, so I didn¡¯t have much to talk about with them. It was all I could do to not crack under the pressure and ask them for advice or comfort about the whole thing.

    I texted back, Hi, Tony! I¡¯m okay, and I¡¯m sorry we haven¡¯t talked. How are you and Addie doing?

    Shes ok, she got sick tho, he replied.

    Sick??

    Yea there¡¯s a flu going around. But shes gonna b ok, she just needs to rest for a while

    Aww tell her I hope she gets better.

    Thanks (smiling emoji) I will. He then said, Happy Valentines btw (blush emoji)

    I checked the date. I hadn¡¯t even realized it was the 14<sup>th</sup>. Aww thanks! You too! I replied.

    I was wondering if ur up to hanging out sometime? Ik youre probably busy, dont feel bad if u cant rn. Lots of stuff gets in the way. I just really want to get to know u more and make up for lost time

    I shook my head, amazed. All this time I avoided talking to him or anyone else, and he still wanted to spend time with me? I didn¡¯t deserve him, or anyone else. I was such a terrible friend.

    ¡°Or he just really wants to mess with you,¡± a young voice interrupted me.

    ¡°Ugh! Why can¡¯t you just go away?!¡± I turned sharply in my seat, pausing when I took in her battered state. She sat on my bed, her arms wrapped around her legs.

    ¡°You remember he was the same?¡± she said. ¡°Every time you ran away, he would go after you. He¡¯d hug you when you panicked. He said he¡¯d always be there. But then¡­ he just snapped one day.¡±

    ¡°Tony¡¯s not like that,¡± I said.

    ¡°How do you know?¡±

    ¡°Marco was 20! This is different!¡±

    ¡°So? Just because he¡¯s your age now doesn¡¯t mean he¡¯s gonna be a good person.¡±

    ¡°He just wants to hang out.¡±

    ¡°He just wants you,¡± she retorted. ¡°He¡¯s tired of you, but he wants something from you.¡±

    ¡°Just stop. Please.¡± I turned away. ¡°Go away.¡± I checked my phone, going to the group chat. The girls hadn¡¯t talked a lot lately. Mildred, Blanche, and Alma occasionally texted, but Thelma and Kate were weirdly silent.

    ¡°They don¡¯t like you, either. That¡¯s why they don¡¯t talk to you. They think you¡¯re annoying.¡± 11-year old me was back, this time wearing that horrible uniform.

    ¡°You¡¯re so exhausting to be with,¡± 14-year old me said.

    ¡°Is that why they did this to me?¡± The little one was still wet and cold, shivering in the corner.

    ¡°He¡¯s gonna leave the bad guy place.¡± The youngest stood next to me, staring into my eyes. Sea green on sea green. ¡°You¡¯re gonna mess up. He¡¯s gonna hurt you again. The grown-ups don¡¯t like you.¡±

    ¡°Just go AWAY!¡± I stood, turning to the girls, but my room was empty. Lonnie ran up to me, pawing at my arm. I went to my bed and lied down, exhausted. I needed to do something else. Homework wouldn¡¯t do it.

    Maybe I could go for a run¡­

    ~~~

    It was still cold this time of year, but there wasn¡¯t much snow anymore; just small showers every now and then. I was sure to avoid the outlet this time, sticking to my surrounding neighborhood. I¡¯d learned my lesson.

    I was actually a bit proud of myself for finally going out to run despite the circumstances. I¡¯d been locked up in my room for days. Of course, I knew better than to go alone.

    ¡°Can we¡­ take¡­ a break?¡± Harry panted.

    ¡°I thought you played football,¡± I said.

    ¡°It¡¯s been a while. We quit, remember?¡± Tommy also sounded exhausted.

    ¡°Okay, fine. Lonnie needs a break.¡± I slowed down. Next to me, Lonnie panted, his tongue hanging out in the cold air.

    ¡°Oh, yeah, Lonnie needs a break.¡± Harry rolled his eyes.

    I checked my smart watch. It was about 3:30. It would start getting dark soon. We¡¯d stuck close to our neighborhood, but ventured a little further to visit someone. After a little while, we resumed trotting, reaching our destination.

    ¡°You want to be alone?¡± Tommy asked.

    I hesitated. ¡°Just stick close.¡±

    ¡°No, we¡¯re gonna leave you here by yourself,¡± Harry said sarcastically, earning a nudge from his brother.

    ¡°I¡¯m just answering.¡± We entered the cemetery. ¡°And I¡¯m 16, not 6. I can be ¡®by myself¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Not like this.¡±

    Sludge stuck to our boots as we walked through the graveyard, reaching the two. I stared at Julia¡¯s name; Julia Aurora Field. She was supposed to be Watson. She was their daughter.

    If Heaven was real, would she be up there with her parents? Would she even know they were her parents? And Amy, did she know? Did she know I was her sister and not Julia? Could she see me now?

    Harry crouched, leaving a handful of periwinkles on Amy¡¯s grave. He then stood with us, our eyes on her name.

    ¡°She was so peaceful,¡± he suddenly said. Tommy didn¡¯t respond, instead biting his lips to resist his tears. ¡°She told me¡­¡± His jaw trembled. ¡°She said she was at peace. And she wanted me to feel the same. She knew it would be hard, but that we would feel better soon. One day.¡±

    ¡°Do you?¡±

    Another long pause. ¡°It¡¯s hard to say,¡± Tommy continued for him. ¡°I think¡­ personally, I¡¯ve accepted she¡¯s gone. But life just seems less bright without her. I¡¯ve felt better with you, though. You bring your own light. But Amy¡­ life without Amy is still something we haven¡¯t gotten used to.¡±

    ¡°I think I feel the same,¡± said Harry. ¡°I¡¯m happy with you around, Diana. So happy. But at the same time¡­ it just feels so unfair that Amy didn¡¯t get to have a sister. It just feels so wrong that she¡¯s not here for all of this.¡±

    ¡°I wish she was here, too,¡± I said. ¡°It feels like¡­ I really missed out.¡±

    ¡°You did,¡± Tommy chuckled tearfully.

    ¡°We did, too.¡± Harry¡¯s eyes turned down. ¡°We were¡­ mean. And insensitive. We were jerks. We didn¡¯t realize how much we were taking her for granted¡­ I know that sounds so cliched, but it¡¯s the only way I can describe it. And then we did the same with you.¡±

    ¡°It was different with me,¡± I told him. ¡°I get it. I¡¯m with you now.¡±

    They stared at her stone for a while before Harry patted my shoulder. ¡°We¡¯ll be right here, okay?¡± He and Tommy turned away, walking towards some of their other family members that were buried here.

    Our family members. Right.

    ¡°Amy¡­¡± I chuckled, blushing awkwardly. ¡°This feels so weird. I¡­ I¡¯m still trying to get over the fact that¡­ you were my sister this whole time. And I never knew you. Even though we were¡­ pretty close by.¡±

    I looked at the sky, my fists clenching. How many prayers went unanswered? They always said praying would get you what you wanted.

    What about Amy? Her family prayed for her, and she still died. Why? What did she do? What did they do?

    ¡°How did you do it?¡± I asked her. ¡°How did you face the fact that you would just¡­ die? How did you accept that? That¡¯s even worse than what I have to go through¡­ that¡¯s coming from someone who wanted to die¡­ a few months ago. I¡¯m still kinda on the fence, to be honest.¡± I glanced up at my brothers, who had their arms around each other¡¯s shoulders as they gazed down at someone¡¯s grave. ¡°Sometimes I wonder if God¡­ if he let me live because he wants me to suffer more for my sins. I know I did really bad things throughout my life, but there¡¯s a lot of things that aren¡¯t my fault.¡±

    I looked back up at the sky. I wondered if he was listening. Now that I was reading his book, would he listen? Amy and her family always prayed to him, but he said no. Why?

    ¡°I never had a brother¡­ or a sister. I never met you, but this is a time where I just¡­ wish you were here. I wish you were in my life. I wish I could actually talk to you. Having a sister¡­ it sounds so nice.¡± My jaw trembled. ¡°I thought I¡¯d be free when I found out your family was my family, I thought I¡¯d never worry about it again¡­ now I have to go to court and testify against the person that put me in foster care.¡±

    I wondered if Monica could also hear me. She always seemed so happy despite being sick. Going through all those surgeries, chemo sessions, medications¡­ and she still managed to smile. She would put that smile on my face, which was quite a feat. Did she ever feel scared about dying? Why didn¡¯t I ask her? I didn¡¯t get to know her as well as I wanted to. I should¡¯ve gone out more. I should¡¯ve visited her more.

    What would she say to me if she were still here? She probably would¡¯ve found some way to make me feel better. She was such a beautiful person. Why did she have to die? What did she do to deserve this? Did her parents do anything?

    Why did any of this happen?!

    ¡°What do I do?¡± Tears leaked. ¡°Amy, what do I do? What did you do? I don¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t look at him and¡­ I¡¯m gonna screw it up. I know it. What do I do?¡± My gloved fingers pressed into my eyes, the fabric absorbing the tears.

    For a while, I just cried. I hadn¡¯t really taken time to simply cry it out. In the past, my ways of ¡®letting it out¡¯ were a lot more harmful. But now I could just stand there and sob, without anyone judging me or telling me to shut up.

    And then, I was calm.

    The tears disappeared. My heart slowed. Lonnie looked up at me, tilting his head, as if asking what was happening. I suddenly felt so¡­ okay. I felt like¡­ I didn¡¯t have to worry. But there was so much to worry about.

    Hearing footsteps behind me, I turned. Like a deer in headlights, Ivy stood there, her brown skin turning pale. We stared at each other, long enough for it to grow awkward.

    ¡°Um¡­ I¡¯ll come back later.¡± She turned.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine.¡± I sniffled, hiding any trace of vulnerability. ¡°I¡¯m done.¡± I stepped away with Lonnie.

    She approached, her brown eyes on me. She cleared her throat and said, ¡°I heard. About¡­ the whole DNA thing.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ I-I know Amy would¡¯ve been¡­ happy. If she knew.¡± She stepped back as Lonnie sniffed her.

    ¡°Yeah, I bet.¡±

    Lonnie¡¯s sniffing was the only sound that broke the silence. Thankfully, my brothers returned, also pausing at the sight of Ivy. Tommy¡¯s eyes hardened with resentment, not saying a word, while Harry curtly nodded at her. ¡°Ivy.¡±

    ¡°Hi.¡± She looked away.

    ¡°Diana, did you want a couple more minutes?¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m fine. Let¡¯s just go home.¡±

    We started to walk away. Ivy hastily stopped us. ¡°I- I¡­¡±

    We turned. ¡°What?¡± said Tommy.

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry about¡­ what happened at Monica¡¯s funeral,¡± she forced out. ¡°I was just really upset. So¡­ sorry.¡±

    I was honestly at a loss at what to say. I looked at my brothers, hoping they¡¯d fill the awkward void, but they were as shocked as I was.

    ¡°Thanks¡­ I guess?¡± Harry cleared his throat. ¡°We¡¯re gonna go.¡± We headed out of the graveyard. I still felt Ivy¡¯s eyes on me. I¡¯d never understand that girl.

    At this moment, though¡­ I would¡¯ve preferred to face her and her clique at school than go through testifying in court.

 40~ Regression

    Kyle

    My birthday was something I anticipated and dreaded at the same time. On one hand, I¡¯d be the center of attention for the whole day. On the other¡­

    I had three little brothers and one sister that would wake me up in the worst way. And with Diana here now, surely she¡¯d be like her twin¡­ or maybe worse.

    I woke up around 8 in the morning, already nervous. I didn¡¯t move; any sign that I was already awake could trigger a trap or something.

    Seconds ticked by. I still didn¡¯t move. My nose started to itch. I moved my hand as slowly as possible, inching up to my ticklish nose. I sighed in relief when I was finally able to scratch.

    Maybe I sighed a little too loudly.

    ¡°SURPRISE!¡± All four of them burst out from under my bed, inside our closet, and under my desk. Loud noisemakers blew in my ears and party horns softly hit my face. Lonnie joined the fray, jumping on the bed and licking me. I didn¡¯t want to know how they trained him to do that.

    ¡°You guys are the worst.¡± I groaned and sat up, petting Lonnie.

    They laughed, all of them giving me a hug and saying ¡®happy birthday¡¯. Diana put a party hat on my head, careful not to snap the elastic. Amy was the opposite¡ª she¡¯d snap it on purpose.

    ¡°Mom¡¯s almost done with breakfast,¡± said Jack. ¡°And we¡¯re going somewhere later today.¡±

    ¡°No, come on¡­ I told you, I wanted to stay home.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s boring,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°You¡¯ll like it, trust me.¡± Tommy pulled on my arm, practically dragging me out of my bed. ¡°Now get up!¡±

    ¡°Ow!¡± I lightly punched his chest.

    ¡°You¡¯re so whiny,¡± Diana laughed.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m whiny?¡± I stood and picked her up, hoisting her over my shoulder. She let out a startled squeal. ¡°That¡¯s whiny. Who you calling whiny, huh?¡±

    ¡°Kyle, put me down!¡± she giggled, slapping my back.

    I dropped her on Jack¡¯s bed, throwing a pillow at her. She threw it back and stuck her tongue out. I stopped for a moment, gazing at her. It had been a little while since I saw her happy. The whole court thing had really gotten her down.

    She was really reminding me of Amy. She had her exact same smile, though Amy¡¯s cheeks would turn a little rosier. Her laugh was almost similar. It had more of a staccato, rich giggle to it, like a toddler laughing. Amy¡¯s was more of a squealy, fluid laugh.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Diana asked me.

    ¡°You good, Ky?¡± Jack tapped my shoulder.

    I blinked and nodded. ¡°Yeah¡­ sorry, I got lost in thought.¡± I sniffed, sighing at the scent of Mom¡¯s buttery chocolate pancakes. ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m talking about.¡± I hurried downstairs with them.

    For the first half of the day, we watched movies and I opened presents. We¡¯d taken days off from school and work just to relax and celebrate. Around early evening, we headed out.

    None of them would tell me where my ¡®party¡¯ was on the way there. I dressed in a nice shirt and khakis, nothing too fancy. I¡¯d initially wanted to just have a small celebration at home, but my family insisted that my 21<sup>st</sup> birthday should be more than that.

    Since Amy died, I hadn¡¯t really looked forward to my birthday. I was happy Diana was here, even so. The special day seemed to bring her mood up.

    I was quite surprised when we arrived at the ¡®surprise location¡¯: a bowling alley. Nico¡¯s Bowling Alley¡­ we hadn¡¯t been here in years. Amy used to love it here.

    ¡°Seriously?¡± I chuckled. ¡°I thought this place closed.¡±

    ¡°I heard they had milkshakes,¡± said Diana.

    ¡°Amy¡¯s favorite was Coco-Mango Delight,¡± Tommy told her.

    She made a face. ¡°Coconut? Blegh.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t like coconut?¡±

    ¡°It tastes like nothing!¡± We went inside.

    ¡°It tastes like coconut.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, which is nothing.¡±

    I laughed at them, stopping when I met Nicole¡¯s eyes. She was standing with Sam, Hector, Eddie¡­ all of my friends, including some of Jack¡¯s, like Amelia. ¡°Happy birthday!¡± they all said, starting the birthday song.

    Nicole came up to me as she sang, placing a crown with ¡®21¡¯ on it on my head. I couldn¡¯t help a bit of embarrassment, blushing at the attention as I kissed my girlfriend. The crowd led me to a table, where a three-tier princess-themed cake awaited me, a pink, glittery 21 candle shining at the top.

    I looked knowingly at my family, my siblings laughing their heads off. Even Lonnie seemed to be laughing, his tongue hanging all the way out of his mouth. Everyone laughed through the song as I sat down, my eyes hovering over the hot pink candles and the tiara at the top layer. They all clapped when they finished the song, still chuckling.

    ¡°Very funny,¡± I said. ¡°Whose idea was this?¡±

    Everyone immediately pointed to Harry. He gaped at them all, his jaw dropped open. ¡°What the heck.¡±

    I inhaled to blow out the candles. ¡°Wait! Make a wish!¡± Tommy said dramatically, recording me with his phone. ¡°You¡¯ll get your dream, Princess Kyle!¡± Everyone laughed again.

    ¡°Okay.¡± I closed my eyes, smiling widely, and blew out the candles. Everyone clapped and cheered.

    ¡°What¡¯d you wish for?¡± asked Jack.

    ¡°Oh, you know I can¡¯t tell anyone.¡± I stood, approaching my siblings, and grazed my hand against the frosting. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want to spoil it.¡± I lifted my hand abruptly, the frosting smushing onto Harry¡¯s face. ¡°Oops¡­ never mind, it came true.¡±

    Harry gave me a look, grabbing a napkin and cleaning the frosting off. ¡°Y¡¯all are traitors. You call me the ¡®blabbermouth¡¯.¡± He pointed at everyone as they laughed.

    ¡°Alright, we¡¯ll get the real cake.¡± Dad left the group with Mom, tossing a treat to Lonnie.

    I tasted the frosting left on my fingers. ¡°Huh. Not bad.¡±

    Mom and Dad soon came back with the actual cake: a large, one-tier cake decorated with green fondue. It read, ¡®Happy 21<sup>st</sup>, Kyle!¡¯ in blue frosting next to a picture of Armadill, my favorite Omega Battlefield character. When I cut my piece out, I was delighted by the sight of carrot cake.

    ¡°Ew,¡± Tommy instantly said.

    ¡°Bruh, you¡¯re the one that likes strawberry shortcake,¡± I retorted.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with it?¡±

    ¡°It tastes like a wet sponge.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m taking that personally,¡± said Dad.

    After eating the princess cake¡ª which was chocolate¡ª and my carrot cake, we took to the alleys to bowl against each other. I was a bit rusty, my ball going off to the gutters many times, but I eventually worked in a strong enough throw. Diana was good competition. Despite her being a bit skinny, she had a pretty strong throw, getting three strikes in the game.

    ¡°How¡¯s everything?¡± Nicole asked me when we took a break.

    I sipped my Chocolate-Covered Cherries milkshake. ¡°Better than I ever thought it would be.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m guessing you¡¯ve still felt down every once in a while?¡±

    I paused. ¡°It¡¯s bittersweet. It¡¯s actually kind of confusing. I¡¯m happy Diana¡¯s with us, but I just¡­ really wish Amy were here to see all this.¡± We watched as Diana cheered and high-fived Amelia after striking again. Both of them were pretty good. ¡°She would¡¯ve been so happy.¡±

    ¡°She knows. She can see this. We just can¡¯t see her.¡± Nicole took my hand into hers. ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯s smiling right now.¡±

    I pressed my lips together. I didn¡¯t want to bring down the mood with any tears. It was the first time we¡¯d felt this happy in a little while.

    We watched as Rick high-fived Diana after bowling his own strike. Lonnie¡¯s tail wagged wildly, as if to congratulate them. It was strange seeing them together. He and Amy loved each other to death.

    ¡°How¡¯s it going with Diana and Tony, by the way?¡± Nicole asked.

    ¡°She video calls him a lot, but they haven¡¯t met up. He¡¯s asked her out a couple times. I think she¡¯s withdrawn because of the whole¡­ subpoena thing.¡±

    ¡°Is everything going alright with that?¡±

    I cautiously looked around. I wasn¡¯t really supposed to tell Nicole about this, but I was used to telling her everything. ¡°It¡¯s a waiting game until the date. I think Diana¡¯s just scared because she can¡¯t tell anyone about this. I guess that¡¯s why she¡¯s avoiding her friends.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Nicole kneaded her hands together.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°About that¡­ I might have invited a couple of her friends last-minute.¡± She winced. ¡°I felt bad that she was here without anyone she really knew, and she looked a bit shy around all your friends¡­ so I asked Tommy for their numbers and called them.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Well¡­ it should be fine. Where are they?¡±

    ¡°They should be here soon- oh, there they are.¡± She looked towards the entrance. All Diana¡¯s girlfriends and Tony walked up to us, his little sister behind him.

    ¡°A couple, huh?¡± I looked at her. ¡°I get you meant well, but you should¡¯ve asked her.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± She shook her head. ¡°I didn¡¯t think¡­ God, I¡¯m stupid.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not stupid. She should be fine. She loves them.¡±

    ¡°Happy birthday, Ky.¡± Mildred placed a gift bag on my table. ¡°It¡¯s not much, but¡­¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    ¡°Thanks, Mildred.¡±

    ¡°I heard there was carrot cake?¡±

    ¡°Plenty left.¡± I motioned to the leftover cakes behind me.

    ¡°Great!¡± She ran over. Harry noticed her, approaching and striking up a conversation. It was good to see they were still friends.

    ¡°Happy birthday!¡± Thelma came up to us, giving me a side hug. ¡°Uh, this was a bit sudden, but I got you a little something. It¡¯s not wrapped¡­¡± She shyly gave me a small bag from the dollar store.

    I chuckled. ¡°You¡¯re good, Thelma. You didn¡¯t have to get me anything.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s your birthday! Thanks for the invite, Nicole.¡±

    ¡°Sorry it was so last minute.¡±

    ¡°No biggie. Where¡¯s- ah! Diana!¡± She went up to my sister and surprise-hugged her. Diana looked a bit surprised, but relaxed and smiled at them.

    ¡°She looks okay so far¡­¡± Nicole observed.

    She chatted with the girls, then greeted Tony and his sister, the latter hugging her tight. She tensed up a bit around Tony, but out of shyness rather than stress.

    ¡°They¡¯d definitely make a good couple,¡± my girlfriend said.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I hope.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t like him?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I do. He¡¯s cool. I just hope it works out.¡±

    Nicole shrugged. ¡°They¡¯re in high school. Even if it doesn¡¯t, maybe they¡¯ll still stay friends.¡±

    ¡°Crossing my fingers for that.¡±

    Diana maintained a smile, but she pulled at her fingers, popping her knuckles over and over again. Lonnie pressed himself to her side. I watched her intently, hoping her anxiety wouldn¡¯t be too overwhelming.

    Thelma and Kate then approached her. Their conversation seemed light until Diana¡¯s smile faded, saying, ¡°What?¡± After a few moments, her skin paled and she crouched, putting her arm around Lonnie. The girls also crouched with her.

    ¡°Uh-oh.¡± I stood, Nicole following. Diana was breathing a bit too heavily, her eyes flickering to different directions.

    ¡°D-Diana, it¡¯s okay.¡± Kate¡¯s lips trembled as tears filled her eyes. ¡°We¡¯re s-sorry. We d-didn¡¯t¡­¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked.

    ¡°We, uh¡­ told her something,¡± said Thelma.

    ¡°What?¡± Nicole said.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ about the trial.¡±

    I gave her a look. ¡°Why are you talking about this now?¡±

    ¡°It was kind of important. We tried telling her before, but she never answered our texts.¡±

    ¡°W-we¡¯re sorry. We didn¡¯t m-mean to¡­ w-we didn¡¯t want to ruin a-anything.¡± Kate sniffled, now crying. ¡°I¡­ we sh-should¡¯ve waited. We¡¯re s-sorry.¡±

    ¡°Kate, it¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay.¡± I patted her shoulder.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Mom and Dad came, catching the rest of the group¡¯s attention.

    ¡°Is she okay?¡± Tony came through the crowd.

    ¡°Diana, are you okay?¡± Harry crouched in front of her, taking her shoulders. Mildred was at her side, too.

    She shook her head frantically. ¡°I can¡¯t do this. I can¡¯t go to that court, Harry,¡± she said, gasping.

    ¡°Diana, calm down. Okay? It¡¯s not gonna happen for-¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do it. I-I can¡¯t do it!¡±

    Mom hugged her. ¡°Sweetheart, it¡¯s alright. You don¡¯t have to-¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do this!¡± She broke away, running to the bathroom. She tripped on the way, falling harshly.

    ¡°Diana!¡± We ran up to her. She curled up in a ball as I tried to help her up, shaking her head and crying.

    ¡°Come on, baby, stand up,¡± I said gently.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to see him!¡± she cried. ¡°Please, I can¡¯t see him again! He¡¯s gonna hurt me!¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s not gonna hurt you, Di.¡± My brothers tried to help, but she tightened up further, even with Lonnie at her side.

    ¡°I can¡¯t! I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m so sorry! I can¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°Th-this is all my f-fault¡­¡± Kate broke into tears, immediately comforted by Thelma and Alma.

    Blanche ran up to Diana, trying to pull her up. Rick tried stopping her. ¡°Blanche, be a little more gentle.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s too many people- everyone, give her some space!¡± she said.

    ¡°Back up.¡± Hector nudged everyone to move away. We still formed a circle around Diana, attracting attention from the staff.

    Blanche shook Diana. ¡°Di, come on, you need to calm down. You¡¯re gonna be okay.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do it,¡± she repeated.

    ¡°Diana, it¡¯s not even happening right now.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do it. I can¡¯t do it, I can¡¯t do it-¡±

    ¡°Stop!¡± A light, but loud, smack echoed. Everyone gasped, silence falling as we stared at Blanche.

    ¡°Blanche, what the ¡®heck¡¯?!¡± Mildred yelled.

    Diana rubbed her cheek, staring at her with hurt in her eyes. The girl stood, realizing her actions, and covered her mouth, tearing up. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±

    Diana stood, running to the bathroom with Lonnie, who whimpered urgently. Thelma and Alma ran after her, followed by our parents. ¡°Diana, I¡¯m sorry! I¡¯m sorry, wait-¡± Blanche wiped her eyes, hiding her face from everyone.

    ¡°What the ¡®heck¡¯ did you smack her for?!¡± Eddie exclaimed.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to-¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s on the floor panicking, and your first instinct is to ¡®freaking¡¯ smack her?¡±

    ¡°Ed.¡± Rick stopped him. ¡°Relax.¡±

    Tony¡¯s sister signed something to her brother, then ran to the bathroom. Tony sighed, giving Blanche a glare, and turned to Kate, asking, ¡°What exactly did you say to her?¡± Kate responded through frequent stammers, still crying.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡­ this is all my fault.¡± Nicole shook her head.

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, Nic.¡± I turned to the murmuring guests. ¡°Everyone¡­ uh¡­ thanks for coming. This was honestly an amazing birthday, and I¡¯m glad all of you took time to come here and make this so special. I¡¯m sorry about what happened¡­ it¡¯s still a really difficult time for us, especially Diana, and I¡¯m sorry if any of you felt¡­ uncomfortable.¡± I cleared my throat, glancing back at the bathrooms. ¡°If you want to leave early, don¡¯t sweat it. I get that this kind of¡­ changed the mood. Thanks again, and sorry about what happened.¡± Nicole and I went towards the bathrooms.

    Hearing someone behind us, I turned, seeing Tony following us. He stopped, awkwardly waving. ¡°Hey, I¡­ I just want to make sure she¡¯s okay. And my sister¡¯s there, so¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s cool.¡±

    Dad was waiting outside the bathrooms, listening intently. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s a panic attack,¡± he said. ¡°She¡¯s still on edge.¡±

    I scooted aside so Nicole could enter. I leaned close to the door, all three of us listening.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know why she had to hit you like that,¡± Alma said. She muttered something in Spanish.

    ¡°You want some water?¡± Nicole asked. A pause, then, ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll be back.¡± The door hit me in the face when she exited. I groaned, reeling back.

    She clicked her tongue. ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing, nosy?¡±

    ¡°Y vos, shute?¡± I heard Alma say. ¡°Are you guys listening in?¡± Tony¡¯s sister came out as she spoke, frowning at Tony and signing, scolding him.

    ¡°I just want to know if she¡¯s okay!¡± Tony said, signing with his words.

    His sister signed for a bit, then did the ¡®I¡¯m watching you¡¯ sign and went back in. ¡°She says Di¡¯s doing okay, she just needs a minute. And she¡¯s sorry she ruined your birthday.¡± Tony looked at me.

    ¡°Uh¡­ tell her she didn¡¯t ruin anything and that everything¡¯s okay!¡± I shouted inside.

    ¡°Davis, you and Kyle better step away from the door,¡± Mom said.

    I leaned against the wall. ¡°What else did she say?¡± I asked Tony.

    ¡°She said¡­ Kate and Thelma told her they¡¯re also going to court for something?¡±

    I raised my brows. ¡°They¡¯re what?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know about any of this¡­ they mentioned a trial.¡±

    ¡°Why do they need to go?¡± Dad wondered.

    Why did they need to go? This case was getting crazier by the second¡­

    ~~~

    Harry

    The big ¡®WINTER FORMAL¡¯ banners were getting on my nerves. School dances didn¡¯t require a date, but I would¡¯ve liked one. At least I wasn¡¯t alone; Tommy was single now. Honestly, he was better off. He seemed a lot more relaxed and less depressed since he broke up with Shirley, and he¡¯d stopped looking at those websites.

    I felt pretty bad, even so. With that rumor having gotten around, it would be hard for him to find anyone else to date if he wanted to. We didn¡¯t hold it against Diana, since we were really mean to her at the time, but it made a huge impact on both of us.

    I stopped in my tracks when I saw Lucas¡¯s old friends down the hall. I didn¡¯t feel like dealing with them. I was next to the lockers, too¡ª not a good position to be in when a group of enemies was around.

    I quickly turned the corner, speed-walking. With this new route, I could be late to class.

    ¡°Oof!¡± I dropped my books. ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± I crouched, picking up the person¡¯s notebook. It read, ¡®Mildred Dawson¡¯ on the cover.

    ¡°Oh, hey!¡± She smiled, taking her book. ¡°Sorry about that.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good,¡± I said. ¡°Haven¡¯t seen you since Kyle¡¯s party.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ that was pretty short-lived.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about all that. And I actually thought about inviting you¡­ a-and everyone else, too, but since it was Kyle¡¯s party, and-¡±

    ¡°Harry.¡± She stopped me. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. It¡¯s not a big deal.¡±

    I nodded, still feeling a bit awkward. ¡°Have you talked to any of the other girls? Like¡­ Blanche, or anyone?¡±

    She inhaled. ¡°I¡¯m not that close with Blanche, to be honest. I only know all of them through Diana. I know Blanche has been having a hard time with her mom lately¡­ she talked about it in the group chat. I was surprised Diana didn¡¯t say anything¡­ now I know why she hasn¡¯t talked to us.¡±

    ¡°So none of them ever told you?¡±

    ¡°No. They¡¯re not allowed to, are they?¡±

    ¡°I guess¡­ not.¡±

    She hoisted her backpack further up her shoulder. ¡°So¡­ the guy that murdered his wife was¡­ Di¡¯s uncle? Supposedly?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. When her parents died, they took her in, and CPS took her out because they abused her, and their kids. Diana needs to prove he was abusing his wife¡­ and tell them she saw him carrying the body.¡±

    ¡°She saw him carrying the body?!¡± she exclaimed.

    ¡°Shh!¡± I glanced around us. ¡°She didn¡¯t realize it. It was dark. But it was him.¡±

    Mildred cursed under her breath. ¡°What about Thelma and Kate? What do they have to do with it?¡±

    ¡°Thelma recognized the truck, so she¡¯s gonna confirm it was his same truck. And apparently, Kate saw him looking for the wife¡¯s body in the lake, and she called the cops.¡±

    ¡°She called the cops?¡± Mildred shook her head. ¡°What are the odds? Why didn¡¯t she say anything, though?¡±

    ¡°I guess she was scared.¡± The bell rang, reminding me I had a class to get to. I cursed. ¡°Sorry, I held you up.¡±

    ¡°I have a free period. You¡¯re fine.¡±

    ¡°Aw, about time the single pringle has a girlfriend.¡± Ivy and Lisa¡¯s faces appeared, approaching us with venomous smiles. ¡°I¡¯ll be honest, Harry, I thought you¡¯d be single forever. It¡¯s nice to see how things turned out,¡± Lisa said with an irritating smile.

    I glanced at Mildred, who only glared at the girls. She smiled at me awkwardly. ¡°You should get to your class. And ignore these two jerks.¡±

    ¡°What, you can¡¯t take a compliment?¡± said Lisa, huffing. ¡°You seem like a really fun person.¡±

    ¡°More fun than you. I¡¯ll see you around, Harry.¡± She dove into the crowd.

    I sighed, reminding myself that she was just my friend, nothing more. I didn¡¯t want to get my hopes up again.

    ¡°So, how long has she been your girlfriend?¡± asked Ivy. ¡°Tommy¡¯s the single pringle now, huh?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not my girlfriend.¡± I walked away.

    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s not? But you guys look cute together.¡±

    ¡°Could you go away?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been a while, Harry,¡± Ivy interjected. ¡°Thanks for inviting me to Kyle¡¯s birthday, by the way.¡±

    I sighed. ¡°Ivy, you don¡¯t even talk to us anymore. Why would we invite you?¡±

    ¡°You invited Diana¡¯s friends.¡±

    ¡°Because they talk to us. I gotta go to class.¡± I tried walking faster.

    ¡°So you not only replace Amy, but Ivy, too?¡± Lisa butt in.

    ¡°Buzz off, Preston.¡± I heard them follow me as I tried to lose them in the thinning crowd. What was their problem?

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be that mean, Harry,¡± Ivy continued. ¡°I just want to know why I didn¡¯t get an invite. Kyle didn¡¯t even answer me when I texted him Happy Birthday.¡±

    ¡°Ivy, you can¡¯t treat us like ¡®trash¡¯ for months, then suddenly expect us to be back to normal.¡±

    ¡°I said I was sorry!¡±

    I scoffed. ¡°Yeah, some sorry that was. You only said it because you found out Diana¡¯s actually our sister.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not true. I really did feel bad!¡±

    ¡°Sure you did.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like you guys were perfect angels, either,¡± Lisa cut in again.

    ¡°Lisa, go to your 20 something boyfriends and stay out of this!¡± I snapped.

    She laughed indignantly. ¡°I¡¯m just asking. As Ivy¡¯s best friend, I want to-¡±

    I turned. ¡°Ivy¡¯s best friend?¡± I found myself laughing at the blatant hypocrisy. ¡°All this time, you¡¯re like, ¡®How could you replace Amy like that? You guys are sick!¡¯¡± I imitated Ivy with a high-pitched voice. ¡°And the whole time, you got a new best friend that bullied Amy before?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not my best friend-¡± she started.

    ¡°Um, yes, I am?¡± Lisa frowned at her. ¡°I¡¯ve been there for you since Amy died. I went to your house when Monica died. I¡¯m here for you.¡±

    ¡°What a crock.¡± I rolled my eyes.

    ¡°Shut up!¡±

    ¡°You shut up!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t talk to her like that.¡± Ivy got between us, as if afraid the argument would escalate. ¡°Lisa, I didn¡¯t mean it like that, okay? I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d better be. Only reason you¡¯re not alone is because of me.¡±

    ¡°Ivy, you¡¯re literally letting her manipulate you,¡± I told her. ¡°Don¡¯t you hear what she¡¯s saying?¡±

    ¡°You guys hardly talked to me after she died. What else was I supposed to do?¡±

    ¡°You stopped talking to us!¡±

    ¡°What was I gonna think? You come back to school with Diana and expect me to pretend everything¡¯s fine and that your parents weren¡¯t crazy? Sister or not, what you guys were doing at the beginning¡ª that wasn¡¯t right!¡±

    ¡°I know it wasn¡¯t right, but you¡¯re no better! You¡¯re with her!¡± I pointed angrily at Lisa. ¡°You think that didn¡¯t tick me off? You think I didn¡¯t get angry whenever I saw you laugh with these girls?!¡± By now, people around us were taking notice of our very loud argument.

    ¡°You don¡¯t understand!¡±

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t understand!¡± I shouted. ¡°You¡¯re the fakest friend I¡¯ve ever seen! Amy loved you. Monica loved you, and she still loved you, even though you were with these stupid girls. You didn¡¯t deserve either of them.¡±

    Ivy¡¯s jaw trembled. ¡°Just let me explain-¡±

    ¡°Agree to disagree,¡± Lisa interrupted. ¡°She¡¯s just moving on and making new friends. You can¡¯t be sad and alone forever. You should know. With Diana, it¡¯s almost like nothing ever happened.¡±

    ¡°At least Diana didn¡¯t bully Amy and pretend to be our friend right after she died.¡±

    ¡°Will you get over that? We were young!¡± Lisa looked at the crowd, mocking me. ¡°You really love to hold grudges! Fine, I made a few¡­ semi-mean jokes about her. It was her fault for being so sensitive. But I¡¯ve grown since then, and I¡¯m becoming a better person. Doing some charity work.¡± As she spoke, Ivy seemed to tense up further and further, like a bottle of champagne being shaken. Even so, she said nothing.

    ¡°Charity work?¡± I raised my brows. I stared at Ivy, observing her brown eyes shifting and her honey-tan skin turning the slightest shade of red. I raised my brows. ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to say anything?¡±

    She didn¡¯t meet my eyes. Lisa smiled nastily. ¡°You can¡¯t act like Amy was an angel just because she¡¯s dead, Harry. She had her flaws, just like all of us do. Sorry, not sorry. Either way, you¡¯ve moved on, we¡¯ve moved on, and so has Ivy.¡± She put an arm around the girl. ¡°And I¡¯m glad I could help her. We moved on together, didn¡¯t we?¡±

    I kept staring at Ivy. ¡°Nothing, Ivy? You¡¯re not saying a word?¡±

    A drop fell from her eye, but she remained silent. My jaw clenched in anger at her crocodile tears.

    ¡°Amy would¡¯ve been disappointed.¡± I turned to leave, then felt two hands smack against my back, propelling me forward. Everyone around us exclaimed, staring at Ivy and Lisa as they left. The final bell then rang.

    I sighed with dread and continued to my class as everyone rushed away.

 41~ Cross Examination

    Diana

    Tony and Addie were waiting for me in the arcade. Tony decided that, instead of Winter Formal, we could merely hang out and play games. It was a lot more relaxing and it would keep my stress in check. I felt particularly calm today, despite the trial being in less than two weeks. I decided to let Lonnie rest for today.

    It was Leap Day, giving me one extra day to forget about the trial and focus on something nice. I entered the building, passing many arcade games playing music and beeping insistently, as if calling to the passersby to give them a try.

    Tony and Addie waited at the snack bar, Tony with a soda and Addie with a chocolate chip cookie. The girl waved enthusiastically, wiping the crumbs from her mouth, and ran to me for a hug.

    ¡°Glad you could make it,¡± said Tony.

    ¡°After all this time? I wouldn¡¯t miss it for the world.¡±

    ¡°We want to play¡­¡± Addie spelled out a game name, but I couldn¡¯t keep up with the letters. ¡°You like driving?¡±

    ¡°Driving?¡± I signed ¡®drive¡¯, furrowing my brows questioningly.

    ¡°She wants to play the go-kart game over there.¡± Tony pointed to said game in the corner.

    ¡°Oh¡­ duh.¡± I laughed. ¡°Yeah, sure. I¡¯ve never really played one before, but it¡¯s worth a shot.¡±

    ¡°We bought ten tokens each.¡± He handed me a pouch with coins. ¡°So ten games. Unless you¡¯re hungry?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m good. Let¡¯s play.¡± I took Addie¡¯s hand, letting her lead me to the go-kart game.

    It was a lot harder than it looked. The steering wheel was very sensitive. Addie was quite competitive, laughing and sticking her tongue out at us whenever she set a trap or passed us in the game. I wound up in last place, behind all the NPCs, which was a bit embarrassing.

    ¡°Diana¡­¡± Tony snickered, pretending to scratch his nose. ¡°No offense, but¡­ you¡¯re supposed to drive forward.¡±

    I gave him a look. ¡°These things are ridiculous!¡± I pointed at the wheel.

    ¡°You were turning it all the way! Like this.¡± He turned his wheel all the way to the right, imitating me. ¡°You¡¯re supposed to turn it slightly.¡±

    ¡°I did turn it slightly.¡± I pouted.

    ¡°No, you didn¡¯t.¡± He let himself laugh, triggering Addie to snicker with him.

    I glared at them. ¡°Mean.¡±

    We moved on to many other games; air hockey, Space Invaders, pinball, and more. Addie¡¯s competitive spirit was fierce. I wasn¡¯t sure how Tony handled it. She acted cool whenever she lost, but I could tell she did not like it. Tony was the same, to some extent, maybe a bit less intense. Maybe it ran in the family.

    The last tokens were used on the elusive claw machine, which ended in a miraculous victory. I won Addie an adorable unicorn Squish Plushie. She was ecstatic, hugging me over and over again. She named it Dee-Dee.

    We stopped at the snack bar after all our tokens were used. I ordered some fries and ketchup. Tony snacked on cotton candy with his sister.

    ¡°I¡¯m really glad we could finally¡­ you know, spend time with each other,¡± he said.

    ¡°I am, too. I¡¯m so sorry I¡¯ve been so¡­ weird lately.¡±

    ¡°I get it. You have a lot going on.¡±

    Our first awkward pause. I sighed. ¡°Go ahead.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You can ask.¡±

    He hesitated. ¡°You sure?¡±

    ¡°I feel good today. And with you, I feel like¡­ I feel like I can handle it.¡±

    Addie took notice of our expressions as we gazed at each other. She smiled, swallowing her cotton candy, and made kissing noises. Tony smeared some candy on her nose, causing her to gasp and giggle, cleaning her nose with a napkin.

    ¡°So, Kate and Thelma are testifying, too?¡± he then asked me.

    ¡°Yup¡­ I guess on the one hand, I won¡¯t be alone.¡± Tony interpreted my words for Addie. ¡°I just feel kinda scared that so many people I know are involved in this. Them, my ¡®cousins¡¯,¡± ¡ªI made quotes with my fingers¡ª ¡°my¡­ Pat and Kim. People I thought I¡¯d never see again. I thought I¡¯d go the rest of my life without having to¡­ face them. I can¡¯t even think about seeing him without remembering all he did to me. All everyone did to me¡­ I don¡¯t want him to take me back.¡±

    ¡°He can¡¯t take you back,¡± Tony said.

    ¡°What if he does? What if somehow, some way, I screw up¡­ and then he goes free, and he tries to take me away from my family-¡±

    ¡°Hey, you¡¯re doing it again.¡± He put his hands on my shoulders. Addie put her cotton candy down, then came up to me and hugged me.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t want him to mess up my life again.¡±

    Addie tapped on my shoulder, a serious look on her face. ¡°Listen,¡± she signed slowly, letting me understand her. ¡°I know I don¡¯t have the same experiences as you. But I have people in my life that hurt me. People that, if I saw them again, I¡¯d remember when they¡¯d pull my hearing aid out of my ear, or when they yelled in my ears, or didn¡¯t let me play with them at recess. At my school now, there are mean kids that make fun of me, too.¡±

    My heart broke. I¡¯d never understand how people found joy in hurting others that never did anything wrong. I saw some reason in the way people treated me; I was no angel. But Addie? She was so sweet. Were kids really that shallow?

    ¡°I know it¡¯s easy to say it doesn¡¯t bother me. But it does. It hurts. A lot.¡± Her eyes watered and her lips mouthed her words, her voice quietly whispering alongside her signs. ¡°And if I see them¡­ it will make me mad. But that¡¯s what they want.¡± Her eyes then hardened. ¡°They want you to still hurt. They want you to be scared of them.¡± She took my hand, squeezing tight. ¡°You will be scared, and angry, and hurt. But don¡¯t let them know that. Look them in the eye, and tell them you won¡¯t let them hurt you. Not anymore. That man hurt you. He won¡¯t now. You will help put him in jail. You have the last word.¡±

    ¡°I just don¡¯t want to mess it up,¡± I said quietly, signing.

    ¡°You won¡¯t!¡± she nearly shouted, signing fiercely. ¡°You will tell your story. You will be heard. You will speak, and you will tell them how bad he is. And he will go to jail. For good. Don¡¯t say you will mess it up, because you will, if you don¡¯t believe. I believe in you. Tony believes in you. God believes in you.¡± She squeezed my hands and said, ¡°You believe, too.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help crying when she hugged me. I suddenly felt embarrassed about my meltdown. She was right. I couldn¡¯t stay small and pathetic forever. I had to show them they couldn¡¯t hurt me¡­ even if I was lying. I couldn¡¯t give them that satisfaction. I wouldn¡¯t.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to the bathroom,¡± Addie then signed, running off. Tony sat close to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about this,¡± I said, sniffling.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be sorry. You shouldn¡¯t apologize so much,¡± he said.

    ¡°I know. You¡¯re right.¡± I wiped my eyes.

    ¡°Diana, know that I¡¯m being 100% serious when I say this.¡± His brown eyes fixed on mine. I never noticed how rich the color was, like pure dark chocolate. ¡°We¡¯re always gonna be here for you. Anytime you want to text, or call, or vent¡­ you tell me. I want to be there for you.¡±

    I swallowed, my heart quickening. I kind of regretted not bringing Lonnie. ¡°I don¡¯t get how you guys¡­ I¡¯ve ignored you, gone days without talking to you, canceled plans. How do you guys still take time for me?¡±

    ¡°Because I think you¡¯re an amazing person that¡¯s worth that time. You¡¯re a strong girl that¡¯s been through a lot.¡±

    I only hugged him, unable to say anything else. The immense comfort I felt was like no other. I felt like I could do anything if he was around.

    I could do this. I could put Pat away for good. He wouldn¡¯t hurt me. Or anyone else.

    ~~~

    I felt stiff in my outfit for today. I wore a long-sleeved black shirt under a gray fitted blazer jacket. A leather belt with a gold hoop in the middle circled my narrow waist, securing smooth black pants. The black ballet flat shoes were uncomfortably tight, pinching my toes together.

    I hadn¡¯t dressed up this nice in a while. When I looked in the mirror, seeing my unruly hair tamed into whitish-blond waves, and my face coated with subtle, but noticeable makeup, my lips popping in red, I could hardly believe it was me. To the outside world, I was all put together, ready for a day in court.

    But in reality, I wanted to run out of there. I wanted to keep running and never turn back.

    I sat with Thelma and Kate, my family talking down the hall. Lonnie obediently sat next to me, keeping his tongue from hanging, as if he knew that this was a courthouse, and everyone should be respectful and orderly. He was as serious as anyone else. There were a couple other witnesses on the State¡¯s side; including Patrick¡¯s neighbor across the street. She¡¯d seen Patrick leave, as well as me in the front yard spying on him.

    Detective Poole sat next to me, smiling. ¡°You feeling alright, sweetheart?¡± he asked kindly, carrying a Southern accent.

    ¡°Peachy,¡± I said.

    ¡°Everything will be alright. You just go in there, tell them what you saw. Be honest.¡±

    ¡°I know, I know.¡± I wiped my hands up and down my pants. ¡°I¡¯m just nervous about that lawyer.¡± I looked over at the defense team, who talked in front of the courtroom doors.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be. That¡¯s what they want. They¡¯re gonna try and scare you, but don¡¯t let them, you hear me? Just tell them the truth.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just going to say, ¡®I know what I saw¡¯, and move on,¡± said Thelma. ¡°I know they¡¯re going to be all skeptical about my memory and stuff. I¡¯ll just tell them that the truck is the same, and that¡¯s it. That¡¯s what it is, and they can¡¯t do anything to change it.¡± We watched the defense team enter the courtroom.

    ¡°I¡¯m really n-nervous,¡± said Kate. ¡°What if th-they think I¡¯m lying because of¡­?¡±

    ¡°They know you have a stutter. That¡¯s no excuse.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, b-but¡­ they might still¡­¡±

    ¡°Kate, like I said, you know what you saw and heard. You tell them, and everything will be fine.¡±

    A man came up to us, staring at me in shock. I glanced at the girls, who shrugged, and quirked my brow at the guy. ¡°Hello?¡±

    He chuckled, embarrassed. ¡°S-sorry, I¡¯m sorry, it¡¯s just¡­ I¡¯m not sure if you remember me?¡±

    I squinted, then looked across the hall where the defense witnesses were. Two people around my age sat together, a girl and a boy, watched intensely by the bailiff.

    ¡°Patrick? Patrick Jr.?¡±

    ¡°The one and only,¡± he chuckled.

    ¡°Wow.¡± I stared at his face. I couldn¡¯t really remember how he looked 12 years ago. If only I had Thelma¡¯s memory. He looked a lot more like his mother. ¡°Um¡­ how are you?¡±

    ¡°You can sit here if you like.¡± Detective Poole scooted over so Patrick Jr. could sit.

    He thanked him and did so. ¡°I¡¯m doing¡­ as good as I can do, I guess.¡± He looked at Lonnie. ¡°Hey, buddy. He yours?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. He¡¯s my service dog, Lonnie.¡±

    He reached out to pet him, then stopped, reading the ¡®DO NOT PET¡¯ on his collar. ¡°Oops. He¡¯s cute. I love goldies.¡± He smiled at my dog.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for your loss,¡± I told him.

    He shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I was never really¡­ close with my mom, anyway. Never got to see her after they took us.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re still in the system?¡±

    ¡°I aged out two years ago.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ wow.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t yet?¡±

    ¡°I- um¡­ it¡¯s complicated.¡± I glanced next to me, blushing in shame. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Um¡­ Thelma, Kate, this is Patrick Jr. Pat¡¯s son.¡±

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    They nodded and smiled. ¡°How are you?¡± said Thelma.

    ¡°As good as I can be.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m s-sorry about your mom,¡± said Kate.

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    ¡°So, you guys are going against my dad.¡± He smiled. ¡°Nervous?¡±

    ¡°I mean, yeah. Never thought I¡¯d have to do something like this,¡± said Thelma.

    ¡°I s-saw him looking for th-the body,¡± said Kate. ¡°I called the police.¡±

    Patrick Jr. raised his brows. ¡°Wow. Good on you.¡±

    ¡°Are you nervous?¡± I asked him.

    ¡°I am. But I¡¯m gonna be honest. I don¡¯t know what got into their heads.¡± He looked over at his younger siblings.

    ¡°Have you talked to them?¡±

    ¡°Nope, not yet. I saw them, and I waved, but¡­ they didn¡¯t seem too happy to see me.¡±

    ¡°Why? You guys have any bad blood?¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t seen them since we got taken away. Just like you.¡± He smiled sadly. ¡°I guess they¡¯ve just¡­ changed.¡±

    I hardly remembered Lila and Bernard. Lila was two years older than me and Bernard was a year younger. The 18-year old¡¯s hair was dyed black¡ª I remembered she was a blond¡ª and she had piercings in her nose and ears. She wore black jeans and a black suit jacket that was a little big for her, even though she was a bit chubby.

    Bernard was a thin 15-year old, almost as thin as I was a few months ago. He was pale and scrawny. He didn¡¯t look up at all, even when people talked to him. His sister didn¡¯t seem to want to talk to him at all. When we were little, they were very close.

    ¡°Who did you live with all this time?¡± I asked Patrick.

    ¡°I was with my grandma¡ª my dad¡¯s mom. She didn¡¯t want Lila or Bernard. She kinda favored me. I always felt pretty guilty about it. She said she couldn¡¯t afford it¡­ which was technically the truth, so they were sent to other families. My grandma thought I was ¡®too much¡¯ after a while, so I would go with this other family every time she needed a ¡®break¡¯ from me.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± I whispered.

    ¡°I wound up staying with that other family, the Pearsons. My grandma died when I was 15. Then I just aged out.¡±

    ¡°Were they nice?¡±

    ¡°They were okay. They didn¡¯t have any other kids. They gave me some money and stuff when I turned 18. I crashed at some friend¡¯s houses, worked at fast-food places. I finally got a little apartment in the city, not much, but it gives me a roof over my head. Job¡¯s boring, but pays the bills, you know?¡±

    I stared at him. He told me everything¡­ so nonchalantly. Even I was more fortunate; I had a family. A biological family. I had a home and friends that loved me. Patrick¡¯s father killed his mother, his siblings didn¡¯t talk to him, and he lived alone in the city. And yet, he still smiled at me and bothered to ask about me.

    ¡°You okay, Diana?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m¡­ just really sorry about¡­ everything.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s how life is. But we get by, don¡¯t we?¡±

    Susan ran up to me urgently. ¡°They¡¯re starting, sweetheart.¡± She kissed me on the forehead. ¡°We¡¯ll be inside, okay? Kyle will be out here if you need anything. We love you.¡± She went inside with Davis and the boys, Kyle staying outside. Other people also rushed in.

    ¡°Your foster mom?¡± Patrick Jr. asked.

    ¡°Um¡­ my mom.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you got adopted? Awesome.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­¡±

    He quirked his brow, curious. I finally told him about my real origins and the baby switch. He seemed quite shocked, his expression remaining the same for a few minutes; brown brows raised, mouth slightly open.

    ¡°Wow, Diana, that¡¯s amazing. I¡¯m really happy for you,¡± he said with a smile. ¡°That¡¯s a miracle you got.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ yeah, it is.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s good to see one of us turned out alright.¡±

    I wouldn¡¯t call myself ¡®alright¡¯, but definitely more fortunate. I wasn¡¯t sure about Lila or Bernard, but if they were defending their father, there was something wrong there.

    The wait was agonizing. I could hear people speaking inside, wondering what they were saying. The clock on the wall ticked slowly. How long would it take? I got so anxious that Lonnie nudged me, prompting me to do my breathing exercises.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Thelma took my hand.

    ¡°Depends on what you mean by ¡®okay¡¯.¡±

    Kyle came up to us. ¡°Are you too anxious?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just opening statements. It¡¯ll be a while.¡±

    Detective Poole nodded in agreement. ¡°Takes at least an hour most of the time,¡± he said. ¡°There¡¯s a chance you kids will have to wait until tomorrow. It all depends on them.¡±

    ¡°Tomorrow?¡± I groaned. ¡°I just want to get this over with.¡±

    ¡°On the bright side, it gives you more time to think,¡± said Kyle.

    ¡°Which brother is this?¡± Patrick Jr. asked.

    ¡°The oldest. Kyle, this is Pat Jr.¡±

    ¡°How you doing?¡± Kyle shook his hand. ¡°You want me to stay with you, Di?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be okay. Thanks, Kyle.¡±

    The door opened, catching everyone¡¯s attention. ¡°Calling Detective Alex Poole,¡± a bailiff announced.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯ll see you kids on the other side.¡± Detective Poole stood, straightening his jacket. ¡°Everything will be alright.¡± He winked at us and stepped through the doors, which closed ominously.

    ¡°Here we go.¡± Thelma took a deep breath.

    ¡°I really hope th-they call you first,¡± said Kate, looking at Thelma.

    ¡°Girl, it¡¯s gonna be okay.¡±

    ¡°I j-just feel like it¡¯ll b-be easier if y-you come out and t-tell me what it¡¯s like.¡±

    ¡°That detective will tell us. We just need to tell the truth, that¡¯s it. Our families are there, too.¡±

    And the wait resumed. Minute after minute, second after second¡­ my stomach reacted to every tick and tock, churning painfully. I continuously breathed and stroked Lonnie¡¯s hair, repeating my statement in my head.

    On December 28<sup>th</sup>, 2023, I was jogging, and I went to Patrick Dossi¡¯s address without realizing it. I was afraid because it was dark, and I was alone¡­

    Alone¡­

    Dark¡­

    ~~~

    Detective Poole was in the courtroom for hours. Susan soon came out after a while, telling us we probably wouldn¡¯t be called in today. After more waiting, her thoughts were confirmed. I was both upset and relieved. I just wished I didn¡¯t have to come back and wait even longer to face my fears.

    I had a fitful sleep. Nightmares of the court staring me down, the lawyers calling me a liar, Pat breaking out of his cuffs and coming after me. All these twisted, confusing, spiraling terrors running rampant in my mind.

    Before I knew it, I was back in the waiting area, dressed up, waiting for my turn. Thelma was in there for a while, then Kate was called. Neither of them returned after testifying. I knew they merely went to the audience seats after speaking, but it still held an ominous connotation, as if they were taken away forever, never to come out again.

    ¡°Calling Diana Field.¡±

    My heart stopped. I was hoping Patrick Jr. would go first. Kyle came over, helping me out of my seat. My legs were turned to jelly.

    ¡°Look at me,¡± he said, taking my shoulders. ¡°Don¡¯t let them twist your words, don¡¯t let them trick you, don¡¯t let them win. You know what happened. You know he¡¯s guilty. You don¡¯t need to worry about anything, okay?¡±

    I nodded. He kissed my forehead and led me into the courtroom with the bailiff.

    Inside, all eyes were on me. My throat was dry, my hand clutching Lonnie¡¯s leash like a lifeline. I glanced at my family and friends at the front of the audience, all of them shooting me looks of reassurance and comfort. Kate looked pretty shaken, her eyes red and wet, diminishing that comfort.

    Then, I saw him.

    He didn¡¯t look at me yet. Dressed in an orange jumpsuit, cuffs around his wrists, his hair disheveled¡ª not that he had much of it anymore. Even through the loose jumpsuit, his potbelly was visible from the way he was sitting. He looked relaxed, as if confident he¡¯d get away with it. How many things had he gotten away with in the past?

    His steely gray eyes then met mine. His expression remained a deadpan as I slowed, unable to move. It was as if he were holding me there with his stare, concentrating on taking every cell of me under his control.

    ¡°Diana.¡± Kyle nudged me gently. He and Lonnie flanked me, as if protecting me from the criminal¡¯s gaze. I didn¡¯t look at him again, but in the corner of my eye, I could swear I saw him smirking.

    I stood in the corner and raised my right hand at my shoulder, my hand on a Bible. The book cover was smooth and warm under my palm, the leather soft.

    ¡°Do you solemnly swear that the testimony you are about to give at this hearing shall be the truth, and nothing but the truth, under penalty of perjury?¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± I answered. I sat down at the witness stand, Lonnie sitting next to me, and Kyle returned to the audience seating.

    ¡°Please state your name for the record.¡±

    ¡°Diana Brianna Wa- Field, sorry.¡±

    ¡°Repeat.¡±

    ¡°Diana Brianna Field.¡± I looked at my family, focusing on them. They shared my blood. Not Pat.

    ¡°Ms. Field, what is your relationship with the defendant?¡± the lawyer asked; he was the State¡¯s representative, so I didn¡¯t have to worry just yet.

    ¡°He was my uncle, supposedly,¡± I answered.

    ¡°What do you mean by ¡®supposedly¡¯?¡±

    I explained my situation. ¡°So Patrick isn¡¯t actually related to me by blood,¡± I finished.

    ¡°So you lived with Mr. and Mrs. Dossi when you were four years old?¡±

    ¡°Yes, until CPS took me and their kids away.¡±

    ¡°Did you see him at all after that?¡±

    ¡°Not until a few months ago, in October.¡±

    ¡°That was when you trick-or-treated with your friend Thelma Williams, correct?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Correct.¡±

    ¡°Did you see him anytime after that?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I did. On December 28<sup>th</sup>.¡± I took a deep breath before telling them about that day, how I wound up on Patrick¡¯s property and saw him carrying a body. Nothing but the truth. Nothing to hide.

    The attorney, while serious, was pretty nice for the most part. He asked me about my past with Patrick, what I remembered of him when I was four. Thankfully, he didn¡¯t ask for too much detail, just my affirmation that he was violent towards his wife and children, and what he would do to all of us.

    ¡°No further questions.¡± He sat down, bringing me relief. My hands were soaked and my heart kept itself at a fast, but steady pace. It wasn¡¯t too bad, but it was still hard to talk about Patrick when he was right¡­ there. Watching me.

    ¡°Cross examination?¡± the judge addressed the defense. One of the women stood, holding a bunch of papers, and went up to the podium, adjusting the microphone to her height. She was a short, stout woman, but the way she carried herself instantly intimidated me.

    ¡°Hello, Ms. Field,¡± she said, her voice cold as steel. She was even worse than Ms. Bredlong.

    ¡°H-hello,¡± I choked out.

    ¡°You said you were jogging near Levar Road the evening of December 28<sup>th</sup>, correct?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Ms. Field, how often do you go on jogs in your neighborhood?¡± Her expression remained a deadpan, but I sensed a hint of suspicion in her voice. It made me nervous, despite my innocence.

    ¡°I go¡­ every other day. Recently, I haven¡¯t jogged much, but usually, I jog every two, three days or so. Mostly on weekends.¡±

    ¡°So you should be familiar with your neighborhood, correct?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°You said you arrived at 33 Levar Road ¡®by accident¡¯.¡± Her brows furrowed. ¡°How did you ¡®accidentally¡¯ stumble onto Mr. Dossi¡¯s territory if you regularly jogged around the neighborhood?¡±

    My heart stilled for half a second. That did look pretty bad¡­

    ¡°Um, I had an argument with someone prior to that,¡± I explained. ¡°I had gone to the outlet, and there were some girls that I didn¡¯t¡ª don¡¯t¡ª get along with. I got really upset, so I ran away just to get away from them, and I didn¡¯t really focus on where I was going.¡±

    ¡°So it was by pure coincidence that you ran into Mr. Dossi¡¯s street?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± I said, wringing my hands under the table. It sounded stupid, but it was true.

    ¡°You said you didn¡¯t recognize Mr. Dossi as the man you saw carrying a body. How do you know it was him?¡±

    ¡°W-well¡­ to tell the truth, I didn¡¯t know it was him at the time.¡± I glanced at the State lawyers, then at the jury, who watched me intently. ¡°But it was confirmed when I was issued the subpoena, because they found my bracelet there.¡±

    ¡°What bracelet were you wearing at the time of this event?¡±

    ¡°It was a sunflower bracelet that my mo-¡± I faltered, looking at Susan, who also looked a bit shocked. I¡¯d never actually referred to her or Davis as ¡®Mom¡¯ and ¡®Dad¡¯ before. It was something I wasn¡¯t used to.

    ¡°Ms. Field?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, um¡­ it was a sunflower bracelet my mom gave me. I wrote my name inside,¡± I told her.

    ¡°Hand me Exhibit 5-B, please.¡± She took a plastic bag from someone and held it up, revealing a bracelet¡ª my bracelet¡ª inside. ¡°Is this the bracelet you were wearing, Ms. Field?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ yes, that¡¯s my bracelet.¡±

    ¡°Do you consider this bracelet to be an item of importance?¡±

    ¡°Objection, Your Honor, relevance,¡± the State lawyer said.

    ¡°It¡¯s relevant,¡± the woman argued.

    ¡°Overruled, continue,¡± said the judge, nodding at me to answer.

    ¡°I¡­ yes, it¡¯s very important,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s a gift from my mom.¡± I emphasized the word ¡®mom¡¯, smiling at¡­ my mother. ¡°And my dad, too.¡± I smiled at Davis, who seemed to resist tears.

    ¡°How did you not realize you lost it, then? Weren¡¯t you taking good care of it?¡±

    I tried not to hesitate, remembering what I thought and felt that day. ¡°I was just scared. After what I saw, I ran away. So, no, I didn¡¯t realize I lost it until I got home, and I wasn¡¯t about to go back and get it.¡±

    She gave the bag back. ¡°So, Ms. Field, what exactly did you see that night?¡±

    ¡°Like I said, I was jogging,¡± I began. ¡°I realized I was on a different street, and that it was getting dark. I was scared. Then¡­¡± I paused to recall. ¡°I was looking on my GPS, then I heard noises from the house. Patrick¡¯s house. And I hid under a tree.¡±

    ¡°You hid? Why didn¡¯t you run away?¡±

    ¡°I-I didn¡¯t know what else to do,¡± I said honestly, my heart rate quickening. ¡°I was kinda¡­ going on instinct. I didn¡¯t know where I was, and I didn¡¯t want to get more lost, so I hid.¡±

    ¡°What did you see after you hid?¡± she then asked.

    ¡°I saw¡­¡± I glanced at Patrick, whose steely eyes cut right through me. Just looking at him brought back terrible memories, my little self¡¯s scream ringing in my ears. ¡°I saw Patrick dragging a large, human-sized bag to his pickup truck. He covered it with a tarp. When he got in his truck, I thought he would see me, so I hid in the bushes nearby.¡±

    ¡°And that was when your bracelet fell off?¡±

    ¡°I got stuck in the bushes while trying to get out, so¡­ yes.¡±

    The lawyer glanced at Lonnie, who sat quietly. ¡°This dog is your service dog, correct, Ms. Field?¡±

    I glanced at him. ¡°Yes, he is.¡±

    ¡°What purpose does he serve?¡±

    The State lawyers seemed like they wanted to object, but held their tongues. I answered, ¡°I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, depression¡­ a lot of mental stuff. He keeps me in check and alerts me if I¡¯m having an attack or an episode.¡±

    ¡°So your service animal is at your side at all times?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±

    ¡°Was he not with you when you were jogging the evening of December 28<sup>th</sup>?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ no, he wasn¡¯t. He¡­ I-I like to give him breaks every now and then. Sometimes, he jogs with me, other times, he doesn¡¯t. I don¡¯t like to overwork him.¡± I winced inwardly. I sounded way too nervous.

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t that go against your doctor¡¯s orders?¡±

    ¡°Objection, facts not in evidence.¡±

    ¡°Sustained,¡± said the judge. I tried not to show my relief. I could see my parents whispering to each other, watching the defense lawyer with caution.

    ¡°Ms. Field, if your service dog aids you whenever you have an episode, why was he not with you on December 28<sup>th</sup>?¡±

    ¡°Like I said, I wanted to give him a day off to not overwork him.¡±

    ¡°What usually causes these attacks or episodes you mentioned?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ when I¡¯m extremely upset, when I see something that triggers a traumatic memory¡­ when a lot of people¡­ stare at me.¡± I gulped, trying not to look at Patrick. His eyes never left me. I could feel it.

    ¡°What symptoms usually occur with these episodes?¡± the lawyer then asked.

    ¡°A¡­ variety. It depends. Usually, I just get short of breath or weak.¡±

    ¡°Did seeing Mr. Dossi carry a ¡®human-shaped¡¯ bag to his truck cause you to have an episode?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ y-yeah¡­ I don¡¯t really remember much. It was dark, and I was panicking, because¡­ yeah, it was scary. I wasn¡¯t even sure what I¡­¡± Seeing Detective Poole wince in the crowd, I knew I screwed up. The lawyer¡¯s lips ever so subtly tilted up at the corners.

    ¡°Please finish your sentence, Ms. Field.¡±

    ¡°I-I wasn¡¯t even sure of what I was seeing¡­ at first.¡±

    ¡°Do these episodes cause your memory to be altered?¡± the lawyer pressed.

    ¡°No. I mean- yes. I¡­¡± Lonnie nudged my thigh, as if prodding me to take a breath. ¡°My memory is affected when I have very severe episodes. That¡¯s why I wasn¡¯t sure when¡­ when I saw Patrick doing what he did.¡±

    ¡°So you consider the episode you had to be severe at the time of the incident, right?¡±

    ¡°Objection, leading and calls for speculation.¡±

    ¡°Overruled.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t consider it very severe. Just symptoms of panic. I know what I saw was real,¡± I answered, my hands now shaking. ¡°And if it happened at Patrick¡¯s address, I know it was him.¡±

    ¡°Ms. Field, did you have one of these episodes at the time of your ¡®argument¡¯ with your acquaintances during your jog?¡± she then asked.

    ¡°I¡­ I was just really upset¡­ they were badgering me about-¡±

    ¡°Objection, Your Honor, non-responsive,¡± the lawyer cut me off.

    ¡°Sustained. Ms. Field, answer the question.¡±

    ¡°I had an anxiety attack,¡± I told her.

    ¡°So you were already mentally incapacitated when you left the argument, correct?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say incapacitated, I was just upset.¡±

    ¡°Upset enough that you wouldn¡¯t realize what street you were wandering onto?¡± she asked skeptically, quirking a brow. She was right, though; how could I be so stupid?

    ¡°Objection, argumentative.¡±

    ¡°Overruled.¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± I tried to breathe normally. My skin was heating up and sweat built up on my skin. ¡°I wasn¡¯t paying attention to where I was going.¡±

    ¡°So how are you sure that what you saw wasn¡¯t altered in any way by your symptoms?¡± she pressed.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sure it was¡­¡± My jaw flapped.

    ¡°Objection, non-responsive.¡±

    ¡°Sustained. Answer the question.¡± The judge¡¯s voice sounded more urgent now.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± I said shakily.

    ¡°And you are unable to identify the man you saw?¡±

    ¡°I know it was at his address, so I know it¡¯s him now-¡±

    ¡°Objection, non-responsive.¡±

    ¡°Sustained.¡±

    ¡°I know it was him, alright?¡± I nearly shouted. Lonnie whimpered next to me. ¡°He hated Kim, he beat her up all the time! He beat all of us¡­¡± Without thinking, I looked at him.

    He was so relaxed, sitting casually and watching me. A satisfied smirk was drawn permanently on his face. I could sense the thoughts he had; probably observing how I¡¯d changed, how my body changed. Laughing at how pathetic I remained, more so than I was 12 years ago.

    I could see my 4-year old self sitting next to him, also wearing a jumpsuit, cuffs around her wrists. She watched me with resentment and scorn, as if she expected me to ruin everything.

    ¡°Ms. Field, calm yourself down and answer the question.¡±

    Lonnie then barked. I stood and ran out of the courtroom, avoiding the bailiffs¡¯ reaching hands and ignoring the voices calling after me. I needed to get out of there. I needed to get away from him.

    I knew it. I knew I would mess it all up.

 42~ Letting Go

    Tommy

    I used to have so much to talk about at lunchtime. I used to sit at a table full of people, mostly footballers and cheerleaders, all making jokes and telling stories. Usually, those jokes were at someone else¡¯s expense, and the stories defamed and degraded other¡¯s characters.

    Now, sitting at a table with Harry and a couple other guys that were still friends with us, I felt so much better. When I looked over at that packed table, where Shirley would come and sit on my lap, intentionally making the other girls jealous, I didn¡¯t miss it at all. In fact, it repulsed me. How did I sit at that table throughout all these years of high school?

    I felt like I¡¯d broken out of chains that held me down for so long. Heavy, tight chains that forced me to do things and act a certain way, making me hate myself more and more. Why did I endure all that? Just so people that I despised would like me? Why would I want their approval?

    Harry waved a hand in front of my eyes. ¡°Earth to Tommy.¡±

    ¡°Huh? What?¡±

    They all chuckled. ¡°Nate was asking if he and Jayce could come over this Sunday. You down?¡±

    ¡°This Sunday¡¯s the court date, Harry,¡± I reminded him.

    ¡°Ugh, right. What about Saturday?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t Saturday,¡± said Nate.

    ¡°I can, though,¡± Khalid interjected. ¡°What¡¯s that about a court date, anyway? Is it with girls?¡±

    ¡°At a courthouse, ¡®dumb-butt¡¯,¡± I said.

    ¡°You¡¯re dating someone in a courthouse?¡±

    We rolled our eyes, chuckling. ¡°No, the trial. The one our sister¡¯s testifying for?¡±

    ¡°Oh. I thought you guys did that already.¡±

    ¡°She has to go again.¡± The bell rang, setting everyone in motion. We grabbed our packed lunches and bags. ¡°She ran out of the courtroom.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°The defense lawyer was a jerk, that¡¯s why,¡± I muttered.

    ¡°They¡¯re just doing their job,¡± Harry said.

    ¡°She was obviously enjoying psyching Diana out. And you heard the opening statement. It was sickening.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s Diana handling it all?¡± asked Khalid.

    ¡°Not well. It¡¯s really hard for her. Now that I saw that guy up close¡­¡± Harry shuddered. ¡°He looked so creepy. The way he looked at her¡­ I didn¡¯t like it at all. I can¡¯t believe they let a four-year old girl stay with him.¡±

    We exited the cafeteria, starting down the hallway. ¡°I¡¯m only hoping they¡¯re not even harder on her this time,¡± I said. ¡°They wanted to put an ankle monitor on her.¡±

    ¡°Geez. That¡¯s extreme,¡± said Nate.

    ¡°They didn¡¯t, though.¡± Harry stumbled, pushed by the thick crowd around us. ¡°They just said they¡¯d fine us if Diana ran away again.¡±

    ¡°But they should understand that she¡¯s¡­ you know, going through a lot, right?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think they care,¡± said Khalid.

    A commotion ahead interrupted us. ¡°You¡¯re sick! Y¡¯all are sick! What the ¡®heck¡¯ are you saying¡­¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s all that?¡± We continued ahead, following the murmurs and stares of the crowd all the way to the bathrooms down the hall. I recognized Thelma, Kate, and Alma at the front of the crowd, who watched the door intently.

    ¡°Hey, guys,¡± said Harry.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Thelma said, her brown eyes never leaving the girls¡¯ bathroom door, the source of the screaming.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked.

    ¡°No idea,¡± said Kate. ¡°S-sounds like a fight.¡±

    ¡°It was so sudden, too,¡± Alma added.

    A girl then exited the bathroom, her face flushed and wet with tears. I blinked, shocked at who it was. She looked back at the other girls exiting, who were drenched in water.

    ¡°What the hell, Ivy?!¡± Lisa shouted, her hair dripping.

    ¡°Me?! Listen to yourself literally making fun of a dead girl!¡±

    ¡°Ivy, it was just a joke!¡± Michelle and another girl confronted Ivy. ¡°You seriously have no sense of humor!¡±

    ¡°That was not a joke!¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to throw water at us!¡±

    ¡°Making fun of someone who literally died of cancer isn¡¯t a joke!¡± Ivy continued. ¡°¡®She never had style¡¯? ¡®Ivy¡¯s better off now¡¯? How is that joking?¡±

    ¡°Oh, lighten up-¡±

    ¡°So because I had second thoughts, you guys just decide to trash me behind my back?¡±

    ¡°You are so sensitive!¡± Lisa shook her head, gaping at Ivy. ¡°You should know us by now. We tease each other.¡±

    Ivy stared at them. It was as if she didn¡¯t notice the entire crowd of students watching her. She then chuckled, quietly at first, then started laughing until she was bending over and clutching her stomach. Everyone looked at each other, uneasy.

    ¡°Se puso loca?¡± Alma muttered. I didn¡¯t know a lot of Spanish, but I knew ¡®loca¡¯ meant ¡®crazy¡¯.

    ¡°I really am an idiot,¡± Ivy then said. She looked around at everyone, nodding. ¡°I¡¯ve been an idiot!¡± she yelled at us. ¡°Look at me. Tell everyone you know! I¡¯m the idiot of the school!¡±

    ¡°Ivy, could you calm down?¡± Harry said, reaching out with concern. ¡°You need a minute. Take a breath.¡±

    ¡°No, Harry, I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m¡­¡± Her jaw trembled. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡­¡± She raked her hair back. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll forgive you,¡± said Lisa. ¡°We just need to-¡±

    ¡°Not you, you dolt.¡±

    Lisa¡¯s painted lips dropped open. ¡°Dolt?¡± She poked at Ivy¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Listen, sweetie. We were there for you. We made you happy after you lost everything. The best parties, the best clothes, lunch at our table. And let¡¯s face it, you¡¯re happier with us than you were last year. Don¡¯t act like Amy and Monica were perfect angels just because they died. We¡¯re better friends than they were.¡±

    Ivy glanced at her wrist, which had a bracelet made of pink rubber bands. After a couple of seconds, she ripped it off her wrist, shoving it into Lisa¡¯s chest.

    ¡°I took hours to make that,¡± the other girl snapped.

    ¡°Miranda, I made these bracelets when I was nine,¡± Ivy retorted. ¡°And this one is ugly. Quit lying.¡± Chuckles and snickers erupted. The tardy bell rang, prompting people to move, but many stayed behind.

    Ivy looked Lisa dead in the eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t need you,¡± she said. ¡°I never did. I was with you because I¡¯m an idiot. Because I couldn¡¯t accept reality. Now I see¡­ you guys are just heartless wretches who don¡¯t care about anyone but themselves.¡± She shoved Lisa back, letting go of the bracelet.

    ¡°You are lucky we even cared about you,¡± Lisa immediately said back. ¡°You¡¯re gonna regret it. I know you¡¯re gonna come crawling back to us when you realize you¡¯re no one without us. I know you will. You¡¯re a pathetic loser, just like your dead friends.¡± She left with her clique, still soaked with water. Ivy stayed behind and power-walked the other way as the final bell rang.

    ¡°Why does stuff like this always make me late to class?¡± Harry sighed.

    ¡°Go,¡± I nudged him. ¡°I¡¯ll see you guys later.¡± I had a free period, so I could talk to Ivy.

    ¡°What are you gonna do?¡± Alma asked.

    ¡°Just see what¡¯s going on.¡± I jogged in the direction Ivy ran off to, trying to find her. The crowd started to thin as people entered their classrooms. It took a little while for me to locate Ivy¡¯s loud sobbing from an empty hallway.

    She was curled up against a line of lockers, her head buried in her arms. I approached her slowly, taking in her appearance. She wore a tight, yellow, off-shoulder top and even tighter ripped black jeans¡ª how could she survive the cold with that? Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail, her head covered in hairpins.

    ¡°Ivy?¡± I beckoned.

    She looked up, revealing her eyeliner-stained cheeks. She wore so much makeup now, as if wanting to hide her real face. This wasn¡¯t the Ivy Amy knew. This wasn¡¯t the Ivy I knew since childhood. She¡¯d changed so much since Amy got sick.

    Then again¡­ we all did.

    ¡°I¡­ God, I can¡¯t even¡­¡± She turned away, ashamed, and searched her pockets. ¡°Don¡¯t you have a class?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I answered. ¡°What about you?¡±

    She sniffed, wiping her eyes. I searched my pockets and found a couple of tissues I¡¯d brought. ¡°Here.¡± I held them out.

    She stared, taking them. ¡°It¡¯s no wonder Shirley manipulated you so easily. You¡¯re too nice for your own good.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the point of being mean? It¡¯s not gonna make anything better. If Diana could forgive me for being such a jerk, I can forgive you. Besides, it¡¯s her you need to apologize to, not me.¡±

    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    She shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t know how¡­¡± She still didn¡¯t look me in the eyes, keeping her brown irises focused on anywhere but my face. ¡°I don¡¯t know what happened to me. Since Amy died, I¡¯ve felt like I¡¯m in a¡­ brain fog. Everything¡¯s felt like a weird fantasy. With them, I thought I could be¡­ something. I feel like I¡¯ve been on drugs this whole time and broke out of it just now.¡±

    ¡°Well, that means it¡¯s time to get clean and start over. It¡¯s never too late, Ives.¡±

    She chuckled, bursting into tears again. ¡°I haven¡¯t heard that in¡­¡±

    I sat next to her, leaning against the lockers. ¡°As one of the leading experts in having toxic relationships¡­ block them, ignore them, and show them you really don¡¯t need them. If anything, they¡¯ll be the ones crawling back to you because they need someone to pick on.¡±

    ¡°They pick on each other.¡±

    ¡°Well, then let them pick each other apart. Don¡¯t be part of it.¡±

    Ivy slowly turned her eyes to me, finally able to meet my gaze, but just barely. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m gonna go to class¡­ you can¡­ go if you want. You don¡¯t have to stay with me.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have to. But I will.¡± I smiled.

    ¡°You really are way too nice.¡±

    ~~~

    Diana

    ¡°He¡¯s going free because of you.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s gonna hurt us again.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s gonna take us away.

    ¡°All of this is because of you.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re like this because of you.¡±

    I covered my ears, forgetting the voices weren¡¯t actually real. ¡°Could you guys just let me read?¡± I returned to the verse my eyes were on.

    How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

    ¡°Then concentrate and stop thinking,¡± one of them said sarcastically.

    Don¡¯t let my enemies gloat, saying, ¡®We have defeated him!¡¯

    ¡°She can¡¯t stop thinking. She never stops thinking. That¡¯s why we all got hurt,¡± another interjected.

    I sighed, flipping through the pages. Maybe the sorrowful tone was causing all these thoughts. It would be a long while until I¡¯d find something uplifting, though¡­

    He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.

    I went back to the previous page I was on, surprised at how quickly I found something positive. The psalm changed tones so abruptly, at least to me. From hopeless and suffering to relief and praise? How?

    Why didn¡¯t he listen to my cries? Even with everything happening, I was still taking time to read and try to learn more. But none of my prayers were answered. I didn¡¯t get out of this stupid trial. I didn¡¯t deliver a good testimony that day. If anything, I probably made it impossible to put that monster away for good.

    Why did he even exist? Why would God make him in the first place? A heartless, cruel monster who loved to torture and terrorize innocent children?

    ¡°Maybe he made him for you. You¡¯re a disgusting person.¡±

    ¡°Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up, shut up!¡± I snapped the book closed, turning to the various girls of all ages around me. ¡°Why are you here?!¡±

    ¡°Why are you even asking that?¡± the 14-year old said.

    ¡°Why do I have to see your faces every time I want to think?! Why do I have to remember every freaking horrible thing that¡¯s happened to me?! Why can¡¯t I¡­ why can¡¯t I think of something good?¡±

    ¡°Nothing good¡¯s ever gonna happen. There¡¯s always gonna be bad things,¡± said 10-year old me, holding a burnt stuffed Lonnie in her arms. ¡°You make them happen.¡±

    ¡°Stop saying that! I never wanted this! You think I wanted those kids to burn Lonnie?! You think I wanted Mr. Jasper to touch you like that?¡± I turned to my 6-year old self, who was still drenched in water, shivering violently. ¡°And you, you think I wanted those monsters to literally torture you and shove your head in a water bucket over and over?!¡± My voice cracked, tears rising. ¡°You think that in 2017, I wanted those kids to tie you up and throw ¡®stuff¡¯ at you in the basement?¡± I was now looking at 9-year old me.

    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you stop it?¡± one of the little ones said.

    ¡°I COULDN¡¯T DO ANYTHING!¡± I shrieked. ¡°I was alone! I am alone! I can¡¯t do this¡­¡± I curled up on my bed, hugging my knees to my chest. Lonnie jumped on the bed, noticing my distress, and lied down on my lap. I wished he could see what I saw.

    ¡°You¡¯re supposed to tell the truth when you testify,¡± one of the older mes said. She was close to my age, around 14. She wore overalls and an oversized, stained shirt¡ª what I wore at the Masons¡¯ farm. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just do that?¡± she said. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell that witch what he did?¡±

    ¡°She twisted my words,¡± I said.

    ¡°Then un-twist them! Tell her you¡¯re like this¡ª we¡¯re like this¡ª because of him! He started it. Both him and his wife. You¡¯re living proof of that.¡±

    ¡°But they¡¯re not gonna care about any of you.¡± I went to my desk, pushing the Bible aside to make room for my diaries. I flipped through the pages, reading snippets of my life.

    ¡­ he said he wished I was dead¡­

    ¡­ my hair smells like eggs now¡­

    ¡­ they said I was a demon¡­

    ¡­ I think I killed him and I didn¡¯t mean to¡­

    As I read, one of the girls would shiver, the memories flashing through my head. The 13-year old burst into tears, turning towards the window.

    ¡°Marco didn¡¯t die, you know,¡± I told her. ¡°He¡¯ll wake up eventually.¡±

    ¡°He could¡¯ve. A 3-year coma? That¡¯s practically dead.¡±

    ¡°He deserved it. Pushing him down the stairs was pretty light compared to what he did to you.¡±

    ¡°I should¡¯ve just kissed him when he asked me to,¡± she sighed.

    ¡­ my arm will heal soon¡­

    ¡­ Mr. Brian gave me a new phone¡­

    ¡­ beat me up in the barn¡­

    ¡°I can¡¯t use any of this,¡± I said. ¡°This is all stuff that happened without him around. They won¡¯t pin this on him.¡±

    ¡°He did stuff to you, too,¡± said the youngest.

    ¡°But I don¡¯t remember.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you do.¡± This voice was foreign. None of the girls were talking. ¡°And through this pain you will stand up.¡±

    I looked around my room slowly. Lonnie was still on the bed, watching me closely. He tilted his head in question.

    ¡°Who is that?¡± I whispered.

    ¡°My beautiful girl,¡± the voice continued. I couldn¡¯t describe it; it was loud, booming in my head. My different selves started to fade. ¡°My daughter. You¡¯ve suffered so much. But happiness is coming. You just need to clear this last hurdle, and I will give you the strength to do it.¡±

    ¡°What strength? You never had any,¡± the 13-year old scoffed.

    ¡°You¡¯re always holding yourself back,¡± another added.

    I stared at the diaries. Page after page. Entry after entry. Experience after experience. So many horrible memories, with small sparkles of happiness every now and then, but very small.

    ¡°You¡¯re supposed to remember Patrick, not everyone else. Stop looking at those things. They¡¯re just gonna remind you how hate-able you are.¡±

    ¡°I mean, eventually, this family¡¯s gonna get sick of you, but deal with that later. Focus on Pat.¡±

    ¡°Shut up. You guys don¡¯t let me focus.¡±

    ¡°You can, if you focus on me,¡± the strange voice interjected again. So silent, yet so loud. So¡­ frightening. ¡°Don¡¯t let him sway you anymore. Focus on me.¡±

    ¡°Maybe just go back to being depressed, pathetic, and lonely, and then you won¡¯t have to worry about the trial,¡± the oldest chuckled. She was 15, wearing the dirty rags Mrs. Mason gave me to wear.

    ¡°Better yet, finish the job. Don¡¯t let them ¡®save you¡¯ this time,¡± the 14-year old said with a laugh.

    ¡°Shut¡­ up.¡± I crumpled one of the pages of my diary, the one talking about how Jordan locked me out of the house one winter, in the snow.

    ¡°You deserve the bad things. You made them happen.¡±

    ¡°Focus on me.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a bad person.¡±

    ¡°Focus on me.¡±

    ¡°You killed Marco. That was too far. It doesn¡¯t matter what he did to you.¡±

    ¡°Focus on me.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t even call your parents ¡®Mom¡¯ and ¡®Dad¡¯ until a week ago! You think they¡¯ll call you their daughter after that?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re my daughter.¡±

    ¡°Shut¡­ UP!¡± I threw last year¡¯s diary across the room. The oldest girl screamed, disappearing when it soared through her, then smacked against the wall, landing on the carpet.

    I stared at the empty space, then turned my gaze on all the other girls. All those versions of me. Worse and worse, one after the other. Every year, it got worse.

    And every year, I¡¯d carry one more of them in my head. One more weight on my shoulders. I¡¯d keep them with me. Why?

    Looking at my diaries, an inexplicable rage overtook me. I¡¯d been sitting quietly in my seat, staring into space with my thoughts. Checking that my door was closed, I grabbed one of the notebooks and tore the pages out.

    Every crinkle, crunch, and tear was like music to my ears. With every page, my versions would shudder and fade, disappearing with anguished cries. They didn¡¯t exist anymore. Only I existed. The memories were just that¡ª memories. How did looking at them over and over again the past years fix anything?

    Chills wracked my spine, leaving tight goosebumps on my pale skin. Every tear made me feel giddier. More torn pieces of paper fell on the floor like hail, covering the area around my desk until it was a pile. My handwriting was scribbled on them, now incomprehensible to me. Like another language. I didn¡¯t need to look at it anymore.

    Even the covers were so frayed and worn that they didn¡¯t take much force to break apart, even with my feeble strength. Soon, all my diaries were on the ground, except the one my parents gave me. Lonnie was watching me from my bed, his tail wagging, as if excited.

    You got it, Diana! You¡¯re breaking free! Keep going!

    I stood from my chair, stomping on all the torn pieces. Lonnie jumped down, sniffing them curiously. I took a moment to breathe, standing there in the paper puddle. I¡¯d need a trash bag.

    Now I was alone in my thoughts¡­ almost. One little girl was left. The one that lived with Patrick. The one that would tell everyone why he needed to be put away.

    ¡°He was mean,¡± she began. ¡°He hated Auntie Kim. He hitted her lots of times. Once, he clinked a bottle on her head.¡±

    ¡°C-clinked?¡±

    ¡°You know. When the bottles get all piece-y. They make clinking sounds.¡±

    I crouched at her eye level. ¡°Wh-what else did he do? Tell me.¡±

    ¡°He¡­¡± Her sea green eyes blinked back tears. ¡°He would hold me here.¡± She put her hands around her neck. ¡°And it was scary because I can¡¯t breathe like that. And not breathing is bad. And he did it a lot. He holded me here and he putted me up like this.¡± She raised her small fists in the air. ¡°And he said he hated me and that he wished I was dead. Like my mommy and daddy.¡±

    ¡°Did he¡­¡± I swallowed, trying to control myself. ¡°Did he do the same to Kim?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Mm-hmm. He holded her like this, and he shaked her back and forth, back and forth.¡± She imitated the motion. ¡°And he called her mean names, and a lot of words I don¡¯t know, but they sounded bad.¡±

    Movement in the corner of my eye startled me. I could see the faint silhouettes of Patrick and Kimmie, the former lifting the latter in the air by her neck, screaming. They flashed away as quickly as they appeared.

    ¡°He said he hated her again and again. He said he didn¡¯t like her or the other kids. He said they were mistakes. Mistakes are bad, right? It¡¯s when you do something you didn¡¯t want to do. So he said that the kids were something he didn¡¯t want. And he hitted her face like this.¡± She slapped the air. ¡°And there was a lot of weird red stuff on her face.¡± She touched her eyes and cheeks.

    ¡°What else?¡± I didn¡¯t tremble. I didn¡¯t cry. I didn¡¯t tear up. I just listened.

    Soon, I had many new pages full of old memories in my diary, memories I thought I¡¯d never recall. All of this was my testimony, my smoking gun. Patrick Dossi was going to jail, period. And hopefully, with my stories, he¡¯d stay in there for good. A rabid animal in a cage, where he belonged.

    I looked back at the little girl, who still held innocence and confusion in her eyes¡­ something I¡¯d lost so long ago. I hadn¡¯t lost the naivety, but naivety wasn¡¯t innocence. I missed innocence. I missed not knowing¡­ anything.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± The tears rose as I faced her. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I should¡¯ve been braver. I should¡¯ve been smarter. All the times I annoyed Pat, and he hurt me¡­ he hurt us. Knowing how he was, I still¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I never wanted this.¡±

    She stared at me, her sea green eyes on mine. She then said, ¡°Why are you saying sorry?¡±

    ¡°Because it¡¯s my fault.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not.¡± She shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s not. Don¡¯t cry. Crying is bad.¡±

    ¡°You¡­ you mean that?¡± I asked her.

    She nodded. ¡°It¡¯s not your fault. Don¡¯t cry.¡± She held out her little arms. ¡°Gimme hug. Hugs make people stop crying, and I don¡¯t want you to cry, because crying is bad. I want you to smile like this!¡± She smiled brightly. ¡°Because smiling is good.¡±

    Hesitantly, I came closer and let her wrap her little arms around me. The sobs came pouring out like a waterfall, the hug getting tighter and more comforting. I felt Lonnie licking my face, making me laugh through the fat, sticky tears. I could feel the girl growing in my arms, her arms getting longer and stronger, her own body trembling with cries.

    When I opened my eyes, the little girl was now¡­ me. Me-me. I was looking in a mirror. Then I blinked, and she was gone. I was alone again, except Lonnie, who let me hug him and pet him all over.

    ¡°Diana.¡±

    I looked up. There was someone there¡­ but I couldn¡¯t really recognize their face. It was like my brain wasn¡¯t able to comprehend who was standing before me. I wanted to stand, ask them who they were, but I couldn¡¯t move.

    ¡°I¡¯ll always be with you. I was always with you. You just needed to look.¡± The mystery figure approached, bending down to kiss my forehead. ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry. I¡¯m right here. Just call to me, and I will answer you.¡±

    The door opened, breaking me out of my mental haze. Davis¡ª Dad¡ª approached, concerned. ¡°Hey, Diana¡­ you okay? What¡¯s wrong?¡± He sat down next to me on the floor.

    I quickly tried to dry my face. ¡°N-nothing! Nothing.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not nothing.¡± He looked around at all the paper. ¡°What¡¯s all this?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ a long story.¡±

    ¡°Diana? What happened?¡± Mom entered, gawking at the mess. ¡°What¡¯s going on? Did you have a panic attack?¡± She knelt next to us.

    ¡°No¡­ not really,¡± I said.

    ¡°Sweetheart, what¡¯s the matter?¡± She pushed back my hair.

    Dad pulled me into a hug. ¡°You know you can always talk to me or your mom, right? Are you stressed about the trial?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ I was. But¡­ not anymore. I think I know what to say now.¡±

    ¡°I know you do.¡± He took my face in his hands, a loving look that I¡¯d never seen before sparkling in his eyes. A warm feeling stung my heart, like a good pain. ¡°You know I love you, right? I love you. You and Amy, you¡¯re both my girls.¡±

    ¡°I love you, too, Daddy.¡± I looked at Mom. ¡°And I love you, Mom.¡±

    Her green eyes watered and she kissed my face, hugging me and Dad. ¡°I love you, my sunflower.¡±

    For the first time, I knew¡­ I was gonna be okay.

 43~ Free

    Kyle

    The courthouse was full of a lot more people than last week. Most of them were people Diana knew.

    Nicole and Amelia came with me and Jack. Mildred and Alma came with Tony and Addie. Blanche came alone without telling her mom. Thelma and Kate returned; Thelma wouldn¡¯t be called again, but Kate could. She got way too nervous last week. Some of our best friends were here, like Sam, Hector, Eddie, and Rick. Even some of our cousins were here; Sonya, Kurt, Katie, Robert, Anita.

    Almost everyone wore yellow shirts with messages for Diana written on them in marker or puffy paint. ¡®We support you¡¯, ¡®Put him away¡¯, ¡®We¡¯re here for you¡¯. We¡¯d all bought and painted them during the week.

    Some new witnesses were added to the case. All of Diana¡¯s former social workers and her therapist, Dr. Cawman. There were a couple of other social workers here, probably those that handled the other Dossi kids¡¯ cases.

    Patrick Jr. was nice, but his siblings¡­ I could feel their death stares a mile away. Their hatred was unbridled. Why, though?

    Blanche sat in the corner, a bit isolated from everyone else. She wore a shirt a bit big for her with ¡®He¡¯s the guilty one¡¯ written in faint black marker. I approached her, smiling lightly. ¡°How you doing?¡±

    She glanced up, half-smiling back. ¡°I¡¯m alive. Where¡¯s Diana?¡±

    ¡°In the bathroom. She¡¯s a bit anxious.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, I figure.¡±

    ¡°You okay? You just seem¡­ so quiet.¡±

    She bit her lip. ¡°I almost feel like I shouldn¡¯t be here.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Kyle, I smacked her in the face.¡±

    ¡°You were stressed, just like her. And you apologized. She knows you didn¡¯t mean it.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make it right. You saw her face. I felt so¡­¡± She clenched her fingers. ¡°It¡¯s just like what all of those¡­ people do. They take everything out on the first innocent face they see. I was stressed, and I took it out on her.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t take it out on her. You just acted out. There¡¯s a difference.¡± I put a hand on her shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t beat yourself up like this.¡±

    ¡°This is the first time I see her since your birthday. It feels so¡­ awkward.¡±

    ¡°Then make it less awkward. Show her you¡¯re here for her,¡± I advised. ¡°Show her you¡¯re her friend, and that you love her.¡± When she hesitated, I continued, ¡°Listen, Diana forgave me for treating her so badly when she first came. I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll forgive you when she sees what kind of person you really are.¡±

    Diana then walked down the hallway with Mom and Lonnie, stopping when she saw all of us. She was also wearing a nice, formal yellow shirt, which Mom had picked out of her. Mom smiled and took off her jacket, revealing her shirt, which read ¡®I love you, my sunflower¡¯ in purple puffy paint.

    ¡°What¡¯s all this?¡± she asked, shrinking away shyly.

    ¡°They¡¯re just some shirts we whipped up a few days ago,¡± said Thelma. Her shirt read, ¡®My strong, brave bestie¡¯. ¡°We thought it would help a bit¡­ does it?¡±

    Diana approached, reading all the different messages. Her eyes watered, but she didn¡¯t cry, instead blushing. ¡°Who¡­ whose idea was¡­?¡±

    Tony came forward, clearing his throat, and jerked his head at his sister next to him. Diana smiled, letting a couple of tears out, and crouched. She signed ¡®thank you¡¯ and hugged her. Addie pulled away, signing something.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t get that, I¡¯m sorry.¡± Diana sniffled, wiping her eyes.

    ¡°She says, ¡®I know you would¡¯ve done something like this for me,¡¯¡± said Tony. Addie continued signing and Tony translated. ¡°I would want people I love with me if I had to do something like this. This is so scary¡­ and you¡¯re here, ready to do it. When I grow up, I want to be as brave as you.¡±

    Diana shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t know about brave.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re braver than I would¡¯ve been,¡± said Harry. ¡°I would just wet myself like I did in fifth grade.¡±

    Everyone looked at him. ¡°You wet yourself in fifth grade?¡± Tony laughed.

    He closed his eyes. ¡°Yeah¡­ probably shouldn¡¯t have said that. It¡¯s a long story.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s always a ¡®long story¡¯,¡± Mildred teased.

    Kate approached Diana, taking her hands. ¡°Listen. Don¡¯t let them intimidate you.¡± She spoke slowly. ¡°D-don¡¯t let them psych y-you out. You s-say what y-you want to say, loud and c-clear. You know y-you¡¯re telling the t-truth. Y-you¡¯re stronger now. Don¡¯t l-let them win.¡± She stepped back. ¡°Loud and clear.¡± On her shirt, she¡¯d written, ¡®Don¡¯t be afraid to speak¡¯.

    ¡°Well, look at you.¡± We turned our attention to two of the defense¡¯s witnesses¡ª namely the Dossi kids. ¡°You¡¯ve got your regular little cult, huh, Watson?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Field now,¡± Diana said coldly, standing. ¡°Long time no see, right?¡± The inner circle of people had taken notice of the interaction; most others were talking around us.

    The girl scoffed. ¡°You just love rubbing in the fact that you¡¯re all happy now, right?¡± Her eyes narrowed, her voice holding hatred and spite stronger than I¡¯d ever heard. ¡°You got your little family, your little friends, all wearing cutesy shirts to show they love you. You really need this much validation?¡±

    ¡°Lila, I¡¯m sorry you and Bernard are in¡­ whatever situation you¡¯re in.¡± Diana motioned to them. ¡°But I don¡¯t see how defending Patrick is gonna make anything better.¡±

    ¡°That ¡®witch¡¯ never did anything for us and you know it,¡± Bernard said. Tony hesitated in signing, having discreetly translated the conversation to his sister. ¡°Why should we get justice for her?¡±

    ¡°Patrick was worse!¡± Diana exclaimed. ¡°I¡¯m not trying to get justice for Kim, I¡¯m trying to put that animal in jail so he won¡¯t hurt anyone else.¡±

    Patrick Jr. approached, smiling at his siblings. ¡°Well, the years have been cruel,¡± he joked. ¡°About time you guys actually talk to us.¡±

    ¡°Aw, the favorite¡¯s here,¡± Lila said sweetly. ¡°How¡¯s Grandma?¡±

    ¡°No idea. Haven¡¯t talked to her in a long time.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s surprising. Even you disappointed her.¡±

    ¡°Listen, guys¡­ you¡¯re not even supposed to be talking to us.¡±

    ¡°Well, if they¡¯re not doing their jobs, we should take advantage. I guess it¡¯s because of your weird cult that they didn¡¯t see us¡­ slip.¡± Lila looked around at all the yellow shirt wearers.

    ¡°What is your problem?¡± said Diana.

    ¡°My problem? Watson, Field, whoever you are, be grateful you got what you got.¡±

    ¡°I just don¡¯t see how defending a criminal¡¯s going to help you feel better. And I don¡¯t get why you¡¯re so¡­ angry. You two just hated us as soon as you saw us.¡±

    ¡°Lila, Bernard, we¡¯ve all been through the same thing-¡± Patrick Jr. started.

    ¡°Easy for you to say,¡± Bernard snapped. ¡°The golden boy got to be with Grandma and you got to find a family.¡± He nodded at both him and Diana. ¡°Meanwhile, Lila¡¯s homeless and I¡¯m stuck for three years more unless Dad gets out and we can be home!¡±

    Silence fell, the other people finally noticing. The bailiffs quickly pushed through the crowd, steering Lila and Bernard away from us, scolding all of us for interacting with them. Thankfully, it was just a warning.

    The courtroom doors then opened, inviting the audience inside. ¡°We¡¯ll all be right there for you, okay?¡± Mom kissed Diana¡¯s forehead and Dad hugged her. Everyone gave Diana hugs, kisses, and words of encouragement as they entered. I stayed at my sister¡¯s side.

    ¡°You ready?¡± I whispered.

    ¡°As I¡¯ll ever be.¡± She entered with sharp eyes. Matching eyes. Like mine. Like my sister¡¯s.

    Her sister¡¯s.

    ~~~

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    A lot more witnesses were called up today. We were sitting there for hours. Kate, Patrick Jr, Mr. Brian, Ms. Bredlong. Surprisingly, Ms. Bredlong told the truth about Patrick hurting Diana¡ª I¡¯d thought she¡¯d go for the defense¡¯s side with how cruel she was.

    Kate looked pretty nervous at the beginning of her testimony, but she managed to calm down and tell her story without stuttering too much. Her parents, who sat near the back, looked as proud as ever.

    The next day, Dr. Cawman and the two other social workers were called. The attorneys all asked them the same questions: was Mr. Dossi violent? How did he treat his wife and children? I didn¡¯t understand how this issue became so difficult. He and his wife were in jail for a reason. He obviously killed her. Why were they taking so long to put him away? Why go through all of this?

    Diana was calmer than I¡¯d ever seen her. The first day, she sat quietly, not even glancing at Patrick, who still stared at her with a creepiness that made my blood boil. It was all I could do to not threaten him.

    The third day, we were all still there, waiting patiently, wearing the same shirts in support. It was timely that spring break started for most schools already. Lila and Bernard went up, delivering the most convincing lies I¡¯d ever heard. They¡¯d clearly learned how to act over the years. They made Patrick sound like a victim, claiming their mom even tried to kill him a few times.

    I understood, though. Patrick was their only hope of having a home. What would happen to them if Patrick was convicted?

    ¡°Calling Diana Field to the stand.¡±

    Murmurs echoed. I sighed. ¡°Finally.¡± Beside me, Diana rose, as calm as can be, and walked up to the stand with Lonnie. She squeezed my hand as she passed me.

    It was like a peace had come over her. I couldn¡¯t describe it. All it gave me was swelling pride. I looked around at all her supporters; family, friends¡­

    Ivy?

    She sat at the back, also wearing a yellow shirt, though her arms covered the message she¡¯d written on it. I didn¡¯t even see her come in.

    Diana took the oath and sat down, still avoiding looking at Patrick. I hoped she wouldn¡¯t act up again. A bailiff watched her closely.

    ¡°Ms. Field.¡± A different attorney questioned her this time. ¡°How old were you when you lived with Patrick Dossi?¡±

    ¡°Four years old,¡± she said.

    ¡°Do you still remember your experience with him after all these years?¡± he asked.

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Can you remember any time when Mr. Dossi showed violent conduct towards his wife, Kimmie?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. A lot of times. He was violent towards her, me¡­ and all his kids. Including Lila and Bernard.¡± Her voice was clear and strong, not a hint of nervousness to be found.

    ¡°Would you tell the jury some examples?¡±

    She looked at the jury. 12 pairs of eyes stared back. All kinds of people. Around my age, older, maybe some of them were parents, or husbands, or wives. People that wouldn¡¯t imagine doing something like what Patrick did.

    ¡°I have a lot of examples,¡± Diana said. ¡°I don¡¯t know how much time I have up here.¡±

    ¡°As long as you need,¡± the attorney told her.

    Diana¡¯s eyes landed on us. I nodded, sensing a twinge of fear in her gaze. She then took a breath, hardening her eyes, and turned to the jury.

    The story flowed like a calm river, though the flow was pretty harsh. The endless list of horrors she endured from Patrick alone¡­ the yelling, screaming, threatening, and fear. I gripped Nicole¡¯s hand, swallowing down a lump. A little four-year old girl, still grieving for her parents, had to go through all of this¡­ and so much more.

    12 years too late, she¡¯d get her justice. At least someone got what they deserved. I just wished it hadn¡¯t taken so long.

    ~~~

    Diana

    March 25<sup>th</sup>, 2024

    The courtroom was silent.

    It was long after school was over, so everyone was here, wearing the same shirts. I never imagined anyone would do something like that, especially for me. I sat up front with my parents and brothers, petting Lonnie.

    Patrick appeared with his team and sat in his usual place. Instead of looking at me, which had become a habit, he looked straight ahead, completely emotionless. There was no trace of feeling in his face, no reaction. The coldest deadpan I¡¯d ever seen.

    He was scared.

    ¡°Hey.¡± I turned, finding Mr. Brian leaning over from his seat. ¡°I didn¡¯t get to tell you yesterday. I¡¯m very proud of you.¡±

    I smiled at him. ¡°Thank you, Mr. Brian.¡±

    ¡°I always knew you were amazing, Diana. Keep being amazing, ¡®kay?¡± He glanced at Thelma and Kate, who sat nearby. ¡°You two did amazing, too. Be proud.¡±

    Both girls smiled back at him. ¡°Thanks,¡± said Kate.

    The judge entered, silencing all the faint whispers bouncing around the room. The jury came next, prompting us all to stand. Once we sat down, my heart started beating a bit faster.

    Formalities were definitely exhausting. My fingers tapped on my knee impatiently as they went through all the legal speech and jargon, delaying the point. I wished they could simply say, ¡®He¡¯s guilty¡¯ or ¡®He¡¯s innocent¡¯ and move on. But patience was key here.

    God, I know I don¡¯t talk to you enough¡­ if you were telling the truth, if you meant what you said about happiness coming around¡­ please let that verdict say ¡®Guilty¡¯ on it. Patrick clearly doesn¡¯t follow you. Don¡¯t you let him go free.

    ¡°Question: did Patrick Dossi, in any way, commit violence against Kimmie Dossi. Answer: yes. Question: did Patrick Dossi repeatedly put Kimmie Dossi¡¯s life in danger intentionally? Answer: yes.¡±

    With every question read out, my hope grew. I gripped Mom and Dad¡¯s hands like lifelines. Could it be? Could it be that something good could really happen?

    I know you. I want to believe in you. So bring me justice. Bring us justice.

    ¡°Members of the jury, if this is your verdict, answer yes. If it¡¯s not your verdict, answer no.¡±

    I tensed and kept praying that they would all say ¡®yes¡¯. They couldn¡¯t change their minds. This was the final judgement for Patrick Dossi Sr.

    ¡°Juror number 4.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Juror number 8.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    Mom muttered both prayers of thanks and pleading as more yeses emerged from the jury. With each one, a weight was pulled off my back. Another chain was broken.

    ¡°This court finds the defendant, Patrick Dossi Sr., guilty of the domestic abuse, aggravated assault, sexual battery, and first-degree murder of Mrs. Kimmie Dossi.¡± Restrained jubilation was heard among the crowd, but everyone controlled themselves. ¡°The defendant is also charged and convicted with child abuse, assault, obstruction of justice, use of controlled substances, possession of stolen property, and violation of parole.¡±

    Mom and Dad muttered ¡°thank you, Jesus¡±, squeezing my hands while smiling with joy. I didn¡¯t react just yet; I was still processing the fact that this was actually happening.

    ¡°Patrick Dossi Sr. is officially sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Court is adjourned.¡±

    The courtroom burst into cheers and smiles, everyone standing and hugging each other. Air was squeezed out of my lungs as my brothers picked me up and hugged me in a tight group hug, followed by both my parents. Usually, I would panic, but I didn¡¯t mind this time.

    ¡°We did it!¡± Thelma hugged me and Kate, jumping with joy.

    I didn¡¯t know how many people came and hugged me, but it was quite a lot. My uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends. Tony and Addie, especially. The little girl jumped with joy while Tony hugged me gently, but firmly. For a few moments, I leaned into his embrace, feeling a special warmth and comfort from him.

    ¡°I knew you could do it,¡± he whispered.

    We pulled back, but still had our arms around each other, my face staying a little close to his. ¡°Thank you. For everything. Thank you both.¡± I pinched Addie¡¯s cheek.

    ¡°We should go out and celebrate,¡± he said.

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, sure, that sounds great.¡± Kyle approached, raising a brow at Tony. ¡°Diana needs to go home for a bit, though. It¡¯s been a long day.¡±

    I pulled away from Tony completely, frowning at my older brother. ¡°Actually, I¡¯d like to go out,¡± I said confidently. ¡°It¡¯s not every day I get a happy ending like this.¡±

    Kyle hesitated, mouth flapping. ¡°Well, you need to ask Mom and Dad.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Mom! Dad! Can I go out with Tony?¡± I shouted.

    They both stopped, looking at each other. ¡°Maybe you can all go out together, you and your friends,¡± Dad said before Mom could say ¡®yes¡¯. In response, she frowned at him, smacking his arm. ¡°Ow! What?¡±

    ¡°It would be rude to leave all your other friends behind after everything,¡± Kyle said with an irritating smirk.

    I huffed. ¡°Fine.¡± I handed him Lonnie¡¯s leash.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you gonna¡­?¡±

    I smiled. ¡°He deserves a vacation. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°Can I come?¡± Blanche approached, guilt swimming in her eyes. She wrung her oversized shirt in her hands.

    I smiled at her and answered with a hug. ¡°Obviously,¡± I said genuinely. ¡°All of you are my friends. I want to be with you.¡±

    ¡°Even if we¡¯re total jerks?¡±

    I chuckled. ¡°As long as you say sorry.¡±

    She tightened her hug. ¡°I really am.¡±

    Over her shoulder, to my surprise, a familiar brunette walked up to us. Her brown eyes glanced up at me repeatedly, nervous and embarrassed. On her shirt was the message: ¡®Amy would be proud¡¯.

    I broke away from Blanche, whose eyes immediately iced over when she saw Ivy.

    She slowed, as if intimidated. Maybe she was. ¡°Um¡­ can I just¡­¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re heading out,¡± Blanche said coldly.

    ¡°We can talk, though,¡± I cut in. ¡°I¡­ didn¡¯t know you came, actually. I didn¡¯t see you.¡±

    ¡°I was in the back.¡± She twiddled her fingers, her brown eyes fixed on her shoes. ¡°Listen¡­ I know this is really¡­ I wanted to tell you when we had more time, but I never got to talk to you, and I¡­ I feel like I kinda got you into this in the first place, considering you fought with me before¡­ I-I just wanted to say-¡±

    ¡°Oh, just get to the point,¡± Kate said, approaching. ¡°Y-you¡¯re wasting a lot of her t-time going on and on. J-just say it!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Ivy blurted out. ¡°I know I said it before, and that it sounds¡­ coming from me, I know you¡¯re probably feeling upset, or offended, and I¡¯m sorry for that, too. I just really wanted to say I¡¯m sorry for being such a¡­ horrible, horrible person to you, and to Amy. I¡¯ve come to terms with a lot of things, so it¡¯s only fair that I settle things with you, too, right? Not that I expect you to accept it, I just wanted you to hear it.¡±

    Awkward silence. I wasn¡¯t sure what to say.

    ¡°Okay, um¡­ I won¡¯t take up your time. Sorry. I¡¯ll see you around¡­ sorta. Bye.¡± She turned away.

    ¡°Ivy,¡± I stopped her. She didn¡¯t look at me, her back facing me. I told her the first thing that came to mind. ¡°We should go see Amy and Monica sometime. Us together. I feel like they would¡¯ve liked that.¡±

    She stayed still, keeping her eyes away. She peeked over her shoulder, but only a bit. ¡°Yeah, I think so, too. That¡¯ll be nice.¡± She then hurried to the doors.

    ¡°That was big of you,¡± said Kate. ¡°If it w-were me, I would¡¯ve said a few¡­ choice w-words.¡± Her gaze flickered behind me, and I followed.

    I found myself staring into his eyes. He continued looking at me as he was led to the doors by the bailiffs, his chains rattling. I was tempted to look away, but I didn¡¯t dare. A few seconds stretched out to a few moments. I could tell he was wondering how I did it, how I managed to talk and tell the truth after the way I ran out the last time.

    God has judged you, I said mentally, watching him until his orange jumpsuit disappeared behind the wall.

    Once he was gone, my eyes traveled to Lila and Bernard, who were being led away. Bernard¡¯s gaze was downturned, tears sparkling under the lights. Lila¡¯s dark eyes, which matched her father¡¯s, glanced up, meeting mine. The sadness and hopelessness in them pierced my heart. It wasn¡¯t their fault, really. They were victims, like me.

    Before I could even think of how to help them, rage filled her brown eyes and she left her brother¡¯s side, shooting towards me. I was too distracted, too complacent. Her hands locked around my throat, sending a shock through my body, and we both crashed to the floor. Screams and yells of my name erupted around me.

    My head hit an edge; probably one of the benches. Pain shot down my neck, through my back. Lila¡¯s furious face was all I could see as my oxygen started to run out. She was a lot stronger than she looked.

    She was yelling, but I couldn¡¯t hear what she was saying. Her tears and spit wet my face. The pain in my head intensified. I couldn¡¯t breathe in. The panic didn¡¯t make it any better.

    The lights above us got brighter. It was only a few seconds, but it felt like minutes. Everything was drawn out. I felt Lila¡¯s nails pierce my skin as she was being pulled off, leaving scars.

    The lights got even brighter, and everything was white.

 44~ Hey, Sis

    The bright lights were irritating. I just wanted five more minutes of sleep. I moaned, annoyed, and opened my eyes, finding daylight outside my window. I yawned and sat up in my bed. I expected to find my neighborhood beyond the glass, but instead found a sky¡­ the most beautiful sky I¡¯d seen.

    It wasn¡¯t quite daylight yet¡­ it looked like sunrise. What was I doing up so early? But it was too bright to be dawn. Then again¡­ since when was my bed right against my window? Looking around my room, it seemed familiar¡­ but it wasn¡¯t. All my stuff was here, but the layout was different.

    My clothes, too. They weren¡¯t my pajamas. It was a white silk robe. It was the most comfortable thing I ever wore.

    Wait¡­ where was the courtroom? My friends? My family? Lila. She attacked me.

    Did I somehow¡­ dream all of that? No way. How did I get here? Where was everyone?

    ¡°Mom? Dad?¡± I slipped out of bed. I expected myself to be frightened, but I was mostly just confused. Otherwise¡­ I felt fine. Amazing, actually. Happy and peaceful.

    As I inspected the room, I realized¡ª it was my first room. Before my other parents died, this was the way my room looked. How did I wind up back here? Was I dreaming?

    ¡°Mom?¡± I called again.

    ¡°Down here, honey! Breakfast is ready!¡± she called from downstairs.

    I went down the hallway, which felt so familiar, yet so distant. It was like a dream. My old house, where I used to eat pasta salad, and watch Hops, and run away naked when my mom wanted to bathe me.

    I arrived at the dining room¡­ not my family¡¯s. My other family¡¯s. And at the table were my parents¡­ them.

    I should¡¯ve felt shocked, confused, overjoyed¡­ but while I was surprised, I was somehow calm. I couldn¡¯t understand why. ¡°M-mom¡­?¡± My voice failed me.

    Mom was wearing a white lace shirt with flared sleeves and white jeans. She had the same round, plump face, the same sea-colored eyes that mirrored mine. The ones I thought I¡¯d inherited.

    My dad sat at the opposite end, wearing a white suit. His face had a layer of stubble and his brown hair was tousled, just like I remembered. It was like my memory suddenly got clearer and sharper.

    It wasn¡¯t just them. There was a girl my age. She had brown hair that spilled on her shoulders like chocolate and Mom¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°Dad¡­¡± I whispered.

    Mom smiled and approached me to embrace me. I immediately sunk into her warmth and comfort, tightening my arms around her. While I was emotional, I didn¡¯t cry¡­ it was beautiful, but not overwhelming. Dad then embraced me next, the same cologne on his clothes. The scent was so nostalgic that I relaxed in his arms and breathed the smell in.

    ¡°We made blueberry pancakes,¡± Mom told me. She led me to the table and pulled out a chair for me.

    I sat down, watching them carefully. I wasn¡¯t afraid, just confused. I knew this probably was some kind of weird dream. And who was the girl?

    ¡°Diana, this is Julia,¡± Dad said with a smile.

    Julia¡­ ¡°You mean¡­?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Our other daughter.¡±

    Julia smiled at me. ¡°I¡¯m glad I could finally meet you.¡±

    I found myself smiling back. ¡°Me, too.¡± I looked at my parents. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m kind of¡­ what am I¡­ doing here?¡±

    ¡°You needed to come here for a bit. Just to talk, and¡­ clear things up,¡± Mom told me.

    ¡°Am I¡­ dead?¡± As the words left my mouth, I wanted to be scared, but I wasn¡¯t. Strangely, I was calm. It was like I simply accepted whatever fate came to me.

    ¡°Not technically, no,¡± Dad said. ¡°You¡¯ll see what we mean later.¡±

    I nodded, my mind too muddled to think of another question. But as they said; I¡¯d know what they meant later. I took a bite of the pancakes, which exploded with rich flavor and sweetness in my mouth. Just the right amount of moisture, butter, and syrup¡­

    ¡°Whoa,¡± I gushed.

    Mom chuckled. ¡°Your favorites.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡­ wow. It tastes so¡­¡±

    ¡°Perfect?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    There was a knock at the door. Dad stood, answering, and a girl¡¯s voice greeted him cheerfully. She entered, red hair bouncing. It took me a minute to realize who it was.

    ¡°Monica?¡± I turned in my seat.

    She came up to me and hugged me tight. I chuckled, holding her with just as much desperation. ¡°Your hair¡­ it¡¯s so pretty,¡± I told her.

    ¡°I love it,¡± she said, pulling away and taking the chair next to me. ¡°Ooh, pancakes!¡±

    ¡°Diana, we want to catch up with you,¡± said Mom. ¡°Tell us everything. How¡¯s your family?¡±

    ¡°I want to hear about Tony,¡± Julia said eagerly.

    ¡°Yes! You guys are a thing now, right? For sure?¡± Monica asked me excitedly.

    I recalled every positive memory, which proved easy. None of the negative or painful memories came to light, despite how many there were. My most positive were those of relief and comfort. Relief¡­ it really was a beautiful feeling. The rainbow after the hurricane.

    ¡°I still don¡¯t really understand what I¡¯m doing here, though.¡± I helped myself to a fourth serving. The pancakes never seemed to run out, and I never got full. I gobbled the fourth pancake up in no time.

    ¡°He thought it was time you had closure. You¡¯re ready now,¡± Dad answered.

    ¡°He?¡±

    Mom stood in response. ¡°Come on. There¡¯s someone else you need to meet.¡±

    I followed her, saying goodbye to everyone at the table. We went outside to the open fields. It was a meadow that spread out as far as the eye could see, dotted with beautiful flowers, some of which I¡¯d never seen before. The sky remained as clear and beautiful as ever.

    ¡°What time is it?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Hard to say. We don¡¯t really count time here. No need to.¡±

    ¡°Is it always daytime?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a place of light.¡±

    We walked in comfortable silence for a bit, our feet rhythmically rustling against the tall grass. Mom soon broke it with, ¡°We never meant to leave you.¡±

    I looked at her. ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°You know you never made us feel ashamed of you.¡±

    ¡°¡­ I didn¡¯t?¡± My voice barely cracked out of my throat.

    ¡°You¡¯re the girl we raised. You¡¯re the daughter we knew.¡± She smiled at me. ¡°And we are so proud of you.¡± She stopped and took my hands. ¡°I¡¯m glad we could see you¡­ at least this once. You have a long journey ahead of you. But you¡¯ll be happy.¡± Her warm hand caressed my cheek. I couldn¡¯t help leaning into her touch.

    ¡°Does that mean I¡¯m going back?¡± I asked. ¡°Not gonna lie¡­ I don¡¯t really want to.¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°You¡¯ll come back here. Time flies. You¡¯ll all be here one day. Just keep following that path. Keep going one way. Don¡¯t wander off. If you do, you¡¯ll end up smacking into the wall like you did when you first started to walk.¡±

    I laughed. Somehow, that old memory resurfaced in my mind. I was barely two, running down the hall in excitement, finally able to use my legs¡­ and I went face-first into the wall and fell over.

    ¡°It¡¯s time for you to go, my love.¡±

    ¡°So soon?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll see us again. We¡¯re not going anywhere.¡± She kissed my forehead. ¡°We¡¯ll be right here, waiting for you. You just keep going the way you¡¯re going.¡± She embraced me, and for the first time since I arrived, I started to cry. It wasn¡¯t exactly sadness, though¡­ I didn¡¯t want to leave her, but I was still happy.

    ¡°I love you, Mommy,¡± I said.

    ¡°I love you, too, my princess. Now, go meet her.¡± She pulled away.

    ¡°Meet who?¡± I sniffled.

    She only nodded to something behind me and stepped back. I turned, seeing a girl standing in the meadow. A gentle breeze blew, carrying her long golden hair and silken lavender dress. Her back was to me.

    I approached her slowly. She didn¡¯t turn until I was but ten feet away. That was when I stopped, shocked by the mirror image. After a few moments, I stammered out, ¡°Amy?¡±

    A bright smile shone on her face. ¡°Hey, sis.¡±

    She came up to me and hugged me. I stood there for a few seconds and slowly brought up my arms to hug her back. When she pulled away, she took my face into her hands and sighed. ¡°Who would¡¯ve thought?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s really you,¡± I whispered.

    ¡°Yeah, it is, girl. Who else should it be?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t even know what to say.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s start from the beginning.¡± She took my hand and led me through the meadow. ¡°So¡­ we¡¯re twins. We should do twin things.¡±

    If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

    ¡°Twin things?¡±

    ¡°More like sister things. Let¡¯s see¡­ we look like each other. Well, except for the hair. And I¡¯m taller.¡±

    ¡°You are?¡±

    We stood face-to-face. Amy put her hand to her head, then slid it across, comparing our heights. ¡°Okay, no, wait.¡± She stood on her toes. ¡°There.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m taller than you,¡± I told her.

    She blew out her cheeks. ¡°That¡¯s annoying.¡± I giggled in reply. ¡°What else?¡± she asked. ¡°Your favorite color¡¯s yellow. Meh. I like purple.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t like yellow?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I guess it does compliment purple. Like your dress.¡±

    ¡°My dress is wh¡­¡± I trailed off, realizing the white silk had changed into a pale yellow that fluttered in the gentle wind.

    ¡°Yeah, we look good. Like a flower. Ooh, speaking of¡­¡± She bent down and picked a periwinkle and a sunflower growing together, giving the sunflower to me. ¡°This is photoshoot material.¡±

    ¡°Your flowers are so small, though,¡± I said, looking at the little purple petals.

    ¡°But pretty. And strong. There¡¯s always a lot of them.¡± She looked at my sunflower. ¡°And your flower¡¯s bright and happy. Hopeful.¡±

    We continued through the meadow, picking up bundles of flowers to carry. The meadow never seemed to end. We even saw some bunnies and deer running about. They prompted us to break into a run ourselves. While I ran easily, my feet flying faster than ever, Amy lagged behind.

    ¡°Come on, slowpoke!¡± I shouted at her.

    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m not a slowpoke!¡±

    I stopped running, reaching a tree. ¡°The guys said you were slow.¡±

    ¡°The guys don¡¯t know anything.¡± She reached me with a jog, rolling her eyes. Neither of us even broke a sweat. There was no fatigue, no need to pant or catch our breath. Even so, the tree was huge, providing wonderful shade.

    Amy went up to the trunk and hoisted herself up to the branches. Sensing her, the tree seemed to bend down, spreading its branches to help her up. She jerked her head at me to follow. I¡¯d never climbed trees before, but it proved easy. We went up into the tall, thick branches that served as hammocks to relax in. The wood was warm and soft.

    ¡°They were good to you, right?¡± I asked her.

    She paused, not to hesitate, but to reflect. ¡°They were good. They were just flawed. Like anyone else. I feel their love. When they think about me, more of these grow around me.¡± She fingered a periwinkle she¡¯d put in her hair. ¡°And there¡¯s a lot of these.¡± As she spoke, a patch of periwinkles grew in the branch she sat in.

    ¡°Do sunflowers grow when they think about me?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Maybe. There¡¯s a whole patch of them right behind you.¡± She pointed. Sure enough, there were sunflowers in my branch.

    ¡°Are they okay?¡± I wondered.

    ¡°They will be. Time works differently here. You¡¯ll understand in a bit.¡± She looked down. The height would normally nauseate me, but I wasn¡¯t scared. Probably because I couldn¡¯t die or get hurt here.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you guys have wings?¡± I asked. ¡°I thought angels have wings.¡±

    ¡°They do. But we¡¯re not angels.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re humans, Di. We¡¯re here, we¡¯re not in the flesh anymore, but we¡¯re not angels. It¡¯s complicated. We¡¯re¡­ free.¡±

    ¡°So you can¡¯t fly?¡±

    She only smiled. ¡°We¡¯re running out of time. Come on.¡± She slipped off the branch to the ground below. I followed, expecting a long fall, but found the ground pretty quickly.

    ¡°I thought time wasn¡¯t a thing here?¡±

    ¡°For you, it is. He needs to talk to you.¡± She took my hand, leading me away from the tree. I didn¡¯t have to ask who ¡®he¡¯ was anymore.

    ¡°Do I have to?¡± For the first time since arriving, fear set in. I was a mess of a person. How could I ever face him?

    ¡°Don¡¯t be scared,¡± Amy reassured me.

    ¡°Why does he want to talk to me?¡±

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t he?¡±

    We stopped at a set of huge, open gates. They were simple in design, but glowed with an ethereal light that made my knees weaken. I stared inside, only seeing light from then on, which masked the path leading in.

    ¡°Everything will be okay,¡± Amy told me.

    ¡°You¡¯re not coming?¡± I looked at her, gripping her hand.

    ¡°This is between you and Him.¡±

    ¡°B-but¡­¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be scared. Trust me.¡±

    I turned back to the gate, gulping. Trembling, I slowly let go of Amy¡¯s hand and stepped forward. Another step. Then another. The light enveloped me, glowing even brighter, but it didn¡¯t hurt my eyes in the least. Was my heart beating faster? Did I even have one? There was no need for blood or oxygen.

    The light got brighter¡­ brighter¡­

    And I fell to my knees.

    ~~~

    Susan

    We came full circle. Once again, we were all in the hospital, in chairs, waiting anxiously. Voices echoed through the building, elevators dinged, doors clicked open and closed.

    Here we thought it was all over¡­

    The girl hadn¡¯t strangled Diana for too long, but the doctors figured she went into a state of shock from both the attack itself and the hit on her head. She wasn¡¯t bleeding or anything, but it looked like a harsh impact. The girl was now in custody for assault.

    I understood she was emotional, but she just made everything worse for her and her brother. Patrick Jr. was mentioning to us that he would take them in just when the girl attacked Diana.

    My heart couldn¡¯t take much more of this. The look on my girl¡¯s face¡­ it was as if she¡¯d died for a minute. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling, then rolled back in her head and closed. If it weren¡¯t for Davis holding me, I would¡¯ve hit that girl myself. Instead, all I could do was scream my daughter¡¯s name.

    It felt like hours since we arrived, but it had only been 45 minutes. We had a long time to wait. Many had gone home, but were active on their phones to get updates on Diana. Those left were us, Nicole, Amelia, my parents, Davis¡¯s parents, a couple of my siblings, some nephews and nieces, Thelma and her family, and Tony and his family.

    We¡¯d all prayed together as a group, but prayer still continued, escaping through soft mutters and whispers. Some knelt down at their chairs, others merely leaned back with their eyes closed, their moving lips the only sign of them being awake. My praying was silent, all in my head. If I prayed aloud, I¡¯d start crying again.

    ¡°You want something to drink?¡± Davis asked me.

    ¡°No, thank you, honey.¡±

    ¡°No coffee?¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯ll just stress me out more.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± He let out a long sigh.

    ¡°We should¡¯ve been more alert,¡± I told him.

    ¡°The bailiffs should¡¯ve been more alert. It¡¯s their job. Took them a lot to pull that girl off.¡± He muttered, ¡°Little demon,¡± under his breath.

    ¡°Davis, don¡¯t start,¡± I sighed.

    ¡°Don¡¯t start what?¡±

    ¡°When you mull over things, you get all¡­ tense.¡± I motioned my hands to him. ¡°We can¡¯t change what happened. All we can do is wait.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m right, though.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°When did I say you weren¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just saying. I know we can¡¯t change what happened, but I¡¯m right.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you¡¯re right-¡± I groaned. ¡°What does that have to do with anything?¡±

    ¡°Nothing, I¡­ never mind.¡± He crossed his arms, getting that annoying pout on his lips that said he was upset. He could be such a baby sometimes.

    ¡°Now, kids, let¡¯s not fight,¡± Jack told us, sitting across from us with Amelia.

    I gave him a look, but chuckled, which spread to everyone else. At least we could lighten the mood a bit.

    More minutes passed. Minutes turned into two hours since arriving. Not one update. Not one word from the doctors. ¡°God, please, that¡¯s enough¡­ seriously, it¡¯s enough¡­¡± I whispered, rising from my seat. ¡°You gave us this trial, and now this? That¡¯s enough. Please. Just give me my little girl and let us go home.¡±

    ¡°Diana Field?¡± someone called.

    Everyone jumped with a start, looking to the nurse at the large double doors. ¡°Could I see her parents, please?¡± she asked, holding a clipboard.

    Davis and I approached, our sons following closely. The nurse didn¡¯t seem too alarmed, which brought me some comfort.

    ¡°Okay. Your daughter is just fine. She¡¯s stable,¡± she began.

    We were relieved, but we waited for the rest of her statement.

    ¡°She has a mild head injury. We did a CT scan, an MRI, and there¡¯s no brain damage, so just a concussion. She does have a sprained neck, though, and some bruising. But nothing that requires her to stay. I¡¯ll take you to her room.¡± She glanced at our sons. ¡°We¡¯ll be right out with her.¡±

    They were disappointed, but went to their seats anyway. Davis and I followed the nurse down the hall.

    ¡°So¡­ she¡¯s okay?¡± I asked, unsure. ¡°Why did she pass out for so long?¡±

    ¡°We figure it¡¯s a state of shock she went into. She was attacked, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Probably panic. The doctor should go into more detail. She¡¯s awake and alert. She asked for you first. We gave her some pain medication.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help tearing up and smiling, embracing Davis as we walked. She was okay. She was here. We still had her.

    We entered the ward and the nurse led us to a curtain, sweeping it aside and revealing our daughter. She was in a hospital robe and her neck was surrounded by a soft brace.

    I tried not to burst into tears, but my cheeks were still wet as I went to her bedside, covering her face with kisses and squeezing her hands. She even groaned and said, ¡°Mom¡­ I¡¯m fine.¡± Her voice was hoarse.

    Davis annoyed her further with his own kisses and sat next to me. The amused irritation on her face was a welcome sight. She looked at us sideways, her neck unable to turn.

    ¡°The doctor will come over soon, and then we¡¯ll discharge you, okay?¡± The nurse smiled at Diana. ¡°Is your bed okay? No adjustment?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± Diana said.

    ¡°Don¡¯t talk too much. Her throat was a bit crushed, so we don¡¯t recommend her using her voice much. I¡¯ll leave you.¡± She closed the curtain behind her.

    ¡°Where are the boys?¡± Diana asked.

    ¡°They¡¯re in the waiting room,¡± I answered. ¡°Are you in any pain?¡±

    ¡°Not much anymore.¡±

    ¡°Honey, I¡¯m so sorry¡­ we should¡¯ve been more careful.¡±

    ¡°Not your fault.¡±

    I studied her face. After such an attack, I expected distress, fear, or worry. I was braced for a panic or anxiety attack. But there was nothing. She was calm. Her lips were turned into a small, relaxed smile the whole time. Her eyes sparkled with a joy I¡¯d never, ever seen before.

    I was happy she was okay, but it was unexpected. What made her so calm? What kind of meds did they give her?

    ¡°You feel dizzy or anything? Were you hurt anywhere else?¡± Davis asked.

    ¡°Nope. All good. Just my voice.¡± She smiled wider. ¡°I have a story to tell¡­ it¡¯s a shame I can¡¯t talk.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± I took her hand in mine. ¡°What kind of story, baby?¡±

    She laughed, looking up at the ceiling dreamily. Her eyes then sparkled with tears. I hurriedly pulled some tissues from a box nearby, ready to comfort her, but these were tears of¡­ joy. I glanced at Davis, who was equally confused.

    ¡°Mom, Dad¡­ I saw them. I saw all of them,¡± she whispered.

    ¡°You¡­ you saw who, baby?¡±

    ¡°All of them¡­ and they were so happy¡­ and I was happy¡­¡±

    I glanced at Davis again. Both of us were beyond clueless. Did she have a dream?

    Diana slightly turned her head to look at me, a tear shedding from her eye. ¡°I saw Amy.¡±

    Before I could register her words, the doctor arrived, sweeping the curtain open. ¡°How are we doing?¡±

    I wanted to ask her more. What did she mean by that? She saw Amy? Did she dream about Amy? Who was ¡®all of them¡¯?

    ¡°You comfortable, Diana? No pain?¡± the doctor asked her. She reminded me of Monica, her red hair gathered into a hair net.

    ¡°Nope. I¡¯m good,¡± Diana answered.

    ¡°Then it looks like you¡¯re good to go! I¡¯m just going to do a quick vitals check.¡± She adjusted the bed so Diana could sit up. Diana winced a couple times, but didn¡¯t seem to be in any major pain.

    ¡°Really? We can take her home?¡± Davis asked.

    ¡°So she got a hit to the head, but her brain is just fine.¡± She took her stethoscope off and checked Diana¡¯s heartbeat, telling her to breathe in deeply. ¡°It¡¯s probably a mild concussion you¡¯ll need to keep an eye on. Breathe out.¡± She put her stethoscope back on and took a blood pressure cuff off a hook. ¡°Her neck is sprained and bruised, and her vocal cords were slightly damaged. But it doesn¡¯t look like there was too much pressure on her throat, so she should be fine after some R&R. She can take acetaminophen or ibuprofen if she has any pain.¡± She then finished taking Diana¡¯s blood pressure and wrote it down in a clipboard.

    ¡°She can¡¯t talk, then?¡± I asked.

    ¡°I suggest keeping off using her voice for 24 hours. She¡¯ll need to wear the soft collar for about a week so her neck can heal. You can take it off to shower, though. Come back so I can take it off you, and then you can do some exercises to get your mobility back. Otherwise¡­ you¡¯re good!¡±

    ¡°But, doctor, why did she pass out?¡± I asked her, Davis nodding.

    ¡°Based on her history, I¡¯d say it was a response to panic from being attacked so suddenly.¡±

    ¡°But she was out for so long.¡±

    ¡°I needed to go away for a bit,¡± Diana told us.

    We looked at her. ¡°Go away?¡± Davis asked.

    She only smiled.

    ¡°It was a very sudden injury, so it could¡¯ve been a defensive reaction from her body. But like I said, her brain is just fine. If there¡¯s any more complications, just come straight back.¡±

    After changing into her clothes, Diana was led out in a wheelchair. The boys had to resist hugging her, settling for kisses on her cheeks, which annoyed her to no end. We took her to our car and said goodbye to everyone that had stayed with us. Addie, being small enough, hugged Diana around the waist and signed something to her before leaving.

    Tony kissed Diana¡¯s forehead. ¡°I¡¯ll call you,¡± he said. He then hesitated and added, ¡°When you can talk. I¡¯ll text you, then.¡± I chuckled at him. He was a good kid. Davis seemed to warm up to him, too, smiling at the exchange.

    My stomach churned with curiosity and anxiety. I replayed Diana¡¯s words in my head. I had a feeling¡­ a strong feeling that something happened in that attack. The way she¡¯d gone so limp and lifeless¡­ and the doctor said she was fine? It didn¡¯t make sense.

    We didn¡¯t want to make her talk, so we waited a day to finally ask her what she meant by seeing ¡®them¡¯ and ¡®Amy¡¯. She was in her bed, once again staring at the ceiling with an indescribable joy in her eyes.

    ¡°I was dead,¡± she said. ¡°I think¡­ it was probably just a few seconds, or minutes¡­ I don¡¯t know. But I couldn¡¯t still be alive to see it.¡±

    We were all sitting around her bed, listening. I glanced at my boys, who were as confused as I was yesterday. ¡°You were dead?¡± I couldn¡¯t help a bit of skepticism.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ it probably happened so fast here. But to me¡­ time is different up there, you know?¡±

    Up there¡­ she couldn¡¯t mean¡­

    ¡°I saw my mom. My other mom. And Dad. And Julia. Monica¡­ her hair is so pretty.¡±

    The questions stopped. The glances stopped. The breathing¡­ my breathing¡­ slowed to a crawl. It was just the story now. Just her memories.

    Now I understood the peace in her eyes, the joy in her tears. She was¡­ free. Really free.

    We had closure.

 Epilogue~ Perfect Days are Real

    Diana

    May 18<sup>th</sup>, 2026

    ¡°Diana Field.¡±

    Cheers erupted as I ascended the stairs and approached the principal, who shook my hand with a smile and handed me my diploma. ¡°Congratulations.¡±

    I waved excitedly to Thelma, Kate, and Tony as I went to take my seat. My family was on the other side, embarrassing me with their loud cheering. Mildred and her family had joined them, too.

    I kept squeezing my diploma to make sure it was real. I really did just graduate high school. It felt like an absolute dream. Just a few years ago, I didn¡¯t think I would even finish school. I was supposed to ¡®age out¡¯ of the system last summer. Now, here I was, in the red robe and cap, with stoles around my neck.

    This summer, I was turning 19, applying to college, following my dreams. I knew there would be other challenges and hurdles to overcome in my college years. There would be times I would be stressed or upset. But I would be okay. I knew I would always be okay.

    There were times when the attacks came back. The nightmares would haunt me. I¡¯d be afraid that Pat would break out of prison and come for me. I¡¯d be afraid that Lila would ignore our restraining order and finish what she started. But over time, the nightmares were fewer, and it got better. I always reminded myself that I had a family, friends, and the best boyfriend ever to rely on. And most of all, I had my Father.

    I decided to return to school in the spring of my junior year. To make it easier, I started out hybrid, but soon felt comfortable walking the halls again. In school it was me, my friends, and no one else. I even rejoined the track team in senior year. While it was short, I found great friends. Even though I was out of the system, I still attended the Summit Family of Fosters meetings. I¡¯d shortly joined the choir, but quit after it became a lot on my plate. I was occupied with rehearsing and singing at church with the boys.

    I was too chicken to be a soloist like Amy was, but I sang backup with Kyle and sometimes Tommy. Our voices always harmonized so wonderfully.

    Lisa and her clique had long since disbanded, one of them even transferring. When she¡¯d gone up to receive her diploma, she didn¡¯t look as happy as everyone else. Despite the way she treated me and egged Ivy on back then, I kind of felt bad for her. It was our high school graduation and she looked miserable.

    I felt a bit wistful sitting here. Amy could¡¯ve been right next to me. We could¡¯ve celebrated together. Rick would be cheering her on. He and I were friends now. Not super close or anything, but he would hang out at the house every now and then.

    Even though she wasn¡¯t here, I knew Amy was smiling down at me right now, along with my parents, and Julia, and Monica.

    Ivy was sitting a couple of rows up. She turned in her seat and caught my eye, smiling and nodding. I nodded back. We weren¡¯t close, either, but we¡¯d built a steady semi-friendship. She dealt with a lot of guilt over the years, but eventually the family came to forgive her completely, and my friends stopped shooting her death glares.

    ¡°Congratulations, Regan Taylor Summit graduates. You may turn the tassel.¡±

    I did so, chills running down my spine. I did it. I finished school. I didn¡¯t end up in the gutter like so many foster families had told me. I wasn¡¯t living in an alley or in a dumpster like they predicted.

    It seemed that the ¡®perfect day¡¯ I was robbed of all those years ago¡­ I finally got it. It truly was a perfect day.

    As everyone threw their caps in the air, I stared at the ceiling. Somewhere up there, Amy was celebrating with me. This is for you, sis, I thought as I threw my cap up with all my might, trying to get it as close to her as possible. My stoles shook with my movements, the silky linen shining against the light.

    I joined my family and friends soon after for pictures¡­ lots of them. My cheeks were exhausted by the end. We then headed out to a celebratory dinner at a fancy restaurant. Mom and Dad made a reservation for us with Tony, Thelma, and Mildred¡¯s families.

    Kyle graduated college with Nicole just a couple weeks ago, so we were both celebrating something today. Jack just finished junior year, like Amelia. Tommy elected not to go to college, instead getting an online trade school degree so he could open his own music business. Harry started at Waterford this year to study Psychology and become a ¡®shrink¡¯, like we always said to tease him.

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    He and Mildred thankfully stayed pretty close. I still wasn¡¯t sure if Harry was fully over her; he hadn¡¯t said anything about another girl so far. But at least they were great friends. Mildred wasn¡¯t going to college, but she promised she¡¯d visit me whenever she could.

    Thelma graduated with a bunch of honors, being the genius she was, so I figured she¡¯d go somewhere out-of-state. It would be pretty lonely without her, though. Kate wasn¡¯t sure what she wanted to do, nor Blanche, who also was like me¡ª never expecting to graduate high school. Her school¡¯s ceremony was also today.

    As for me, I was going for a Social Work major at Greenfield U. I felt crazy, wanting to jump right into the environment that messed me up in the first place. But I figured it was the right thing to do. I wanted to be who Mr. Brian was in my life. Someone that reminded me that there were good people out there that cared. And maybe, as a minor, I could do Writing. I always did a lot of it.

    As we walked to our cars, Mom sighed, sadness and nostalgia sharp in her voice. ¡°All my babies are leaving me.¡±

    ¡°Mom, I¡¯m commuting,¡± I reminded her. Kyle had been gifted a new car for his birthday last year, allowing him to drive himself and Jack to school. Now that he¡¯d graduated and found a work-from-home job, Jack would drive me to school next year.

    ¡°Still¡­ it¡¯s just not the same. Sooner or later, all of you will move out.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you can get another dog,¡± Jack suggested.

    Lonnie looked at us inquisitively at the word. He walked beside me, as always.

    ¡°Yeah, make Lonnie jealous,¡± said Nicole.

    ¡°We¡¯re getting too old,¡± said Dad. ¡°We love Lonnie, but we don¡¯t love vacuuming up dog hair.¡±

    ¡°I think I¡¯ll get a dog for myself when I get my own place,¡± said Kyle.

    Nicole gasped excitedly. ¡°Yes! I would love to have someone to cuddle with when I visit you.¡±

    Kyle gave her a look. ¡°Um¡­?¡± He pointed at himself.

    She clicked her tongue. ¡°I can¡¯t hold you and squeeze you like a cute little plushie.¡±

    He blushed as we laughed. ¡°You always say I¡¯m cute and squishy.¡±

    She giggled, hugging him around the waist. ¡°You¡¯re also smelly.¡±

    We laughed again, Kyle¡¯s jaw dropping. ¡°And a dog will smell better?!¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    Tony put his arm around me. ¡°You don¡¯t think I¡¯m smelly, right?¡±

    ¡°Mmm¡­ after practices, yeah.¡±

    He frowned. ¡°You never said anything.¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ yes. I do. Every time.¡±

    He blushed. ¡°When?¡±

    ¡°I lean away and say you¡¯re stinky. Addie says it, too. You don¡¯t pay attention?¡±

    ¡°Men don¡¯t pay attention in general, Di,¡± Mom said.

    ¡°I pay attention,¡± Dad argued.

    Mom laughed loudly and replied with a flat, ¡°No, you don¡¯t¡±, bringing out more laughter.

    We reached the cars, our parents still bickering over Dad¡¯s attention span, to our amusement. I was riding in my parents¡¯ car with Jack, Amelia, Tommy, Harry, and Tony. On the way over here, they¡¯d severely embarrassed me the whole time, despite Amelia trying to calm them down. I didn¡¯t really want to go through that again.

    ¡°Can Tony and I ride with Kyle and Nic?¡± I asked. Kyle had grown out of wanting to embarrass me every five minutes, so he was much better to ride with.

    ¡°What? Why?¡± Tommy furrowed his brows.

    ¡°Because¡­ because.¡±

    Tony smiled, catching on. ¡°Yeah, we can do a¡­ double date thing.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t a date, it¡¯s a family dinner,¡± Kyle laughed.

    ¡°Yeah, but the car ride would be fun.¡±

    Nicole shook her head, smiling at us. ¡°Come on, let them come with us. It¡¯s not fair that they¡¯re all cooped up in there.¡±

    ¡°Why do they get to go?¡± Jack whined. ¡°Amelia and I are cooped up with these two losers.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Tommy punched his arm.

    ¡°I don¡¯t mind. Have fun, you two!¡± Amelia called.

    ¡°That¡¯s not fair!¡± Jack pouted childishly. ¡°We never get alone time.¡±

    ¡°Yes, we do. Stop being such a baby.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s their day,¡± Mom pointed out. ¡°They get what they want.¡±

    ¡°See you there, lovebirds!¡± Tommy and Harry blew kisses at us as they got in the car. I only rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at them.

    ¡°So, Tony, ready for college?¡± Kyle asked as we got settled in the car.

    Uh-oh. Was he going to interrogate him? Maybe this was a mistake.

    ¡°I think so. Still not sure where to go.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to Greenfield?¡± Nicole asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s an option, but¡­ I kind of want to explore more. But I also want to be close to Diana.¡± He held my hand, sending blood to my cheeks. ¡°It¡¯s a hard choice.¡±

    ¡°You go wherever you want to go,¡± I told him. Lonnie, as if agreeing, smiled at him, his tongue drooping out of the side of his mouth.

    ¡°You know what I did when I decided?¡± Kyle said, pulling out of the parking space. ¡°I lied down, closed my eyes, and imagined myself going to the colleges I applied to. I wound up going to the one I felt the most excited about. Every other college I thought of, I would feel like¡­ ¡®it¡¯s pretty good, but not as good as Greenfield¡¯. So I knew.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good idea.¡±

    Nicole put on the radio, a familiar song coming on. She gasped and turned up the volume. ¡°God, this song makes me feel old.¡± Kyle smiled at her words and squeezed her hand.

    ¡°Hands, put your empty hands in mine,

    And scars, show me all the scars you hide¡­¡±

    I glanced at the burgundy red sleeves over my arms. Those scars¡­ they¡¯d faded over the past couple years, but they were a reminder of my past. A reminder of who I used to be. That part of me would never go away.

    But that part of me made this new part of me. I was able to transform and become someone stronger. I was reborn¡­ quite literally. After all, I did die for a few seconds.

    That conversation¡­ I¡¯d never, ever forget it. That memory would always remind me of why I had a smile on my face now. It always kept me stable when things got difficult. The day I talked to my Father¡­ for real. The day I met my sister.

    ¡°And love, if your wings are broken,

    Borrow mine so yours can open, too¡­

    ¡®Cause I¡¯m gonna stand by you!¡±

    I wasn¡¯t alone anymore. He would stand by me. She would stand by me. They would all stand by me. My parents, my friends, my boyfriend¡­

    My brothers.

 Bonus Chapter~ Freshman Year

    August 27<sup>th</sup>, 2026

    I zipped my backpack closed and put it on. I stood in front of my mirror to study my outfit. A pair of skinny jeans, a black-and-white Greenfield U T-shirt, and a jean jacket. Simple, but good-looking. I¡¯d gotten new sneakers to match, too.

    My hair was tied up in a high bun. It was a little difficult at first, considering how puffy and long it was, but I eventually got it to behave. I really looked like a college student. It was believable.

    But I still couldn¡¯t believe I was a college student.

    I looked around my room. Still my room. Still my house. But it felt way too small, in a way¡­ like I was too mature for it. Probably not true, though; I was only 19. What did I know about the world?

    ¡°Di, come on!¡± Jack called. ¡°It starts at 9, remember?¡±

    ¡°Coming! Come on, Lonnie.¡± Taking one last look at myself, I ran to the stairs, my loyal best friend trotting at my side. Jack waited for me, wearing an orange shirt and green cargo shorts. I quirked a brow at his look. ¡°You¡¯re wearing that?¡± Lonnie let out a sort of sneeze that sounded like a snort.

    He looked down at himself. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the first day.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Labor Day.¡± He noticed my backpack. ¡°You don¡¯t need that.¡±

    ¡°I have snacks in it,¡± I argued. ¡°And extra clothes. And my water bottle. And my charger. And-¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­¡± Jack rolled his eyes.

    ¡°Wait for me!¡± Mom came running out of the kitchen, stopping short when she saw Jack. ¡°You¡¯re wearing that?¡±

    He groaned. ¡°I don¡¯t have time to change, okay? I¡¯m a senior.¡±

    ¡°So what?¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯ve been to Labor Day three times already, and it doesn¡¯t get any better.¡±

    ¡°You can still go out without looking like a slob. At least change your shirt.¡± Mom hurried upstairs to Jack¡¯s room. Tommy had found an apartment and moved out a few months ago, deciding to share it with Harry, so now Kyle and Jack had their own rooms. Soon, it would just be Jack and me until he¡¯d move out at the end of the school year.

    ¡°Mom, we¡¯re gonna be late!¡±

    ¡°Well, if you don¡¯t care about it that much, then who cares about being late!¡±

    ¡°She wants to go!¡± He pointed at me.

    ¡°Hey, it¡¯s my first time. Give me some slack,¡± I said.

    He groaned, rubbing his eyes. ¡°I woke up early for this.¡±

    ¡°We woke up at 7:30.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s early.¡±

    As Dad came out of the kitchen, Mom came down with a red Polo shirt and jeans. Reluctantly, Jack took off his shirt and changed. He then glared at me.

    ¡°What, are you embarrassed?¡± I teased him, getting a twinge of nostalgia. Had we been here before¡­ somehow?

    ¡°Just turn around.¡±

    I laughed, but did so. ¡°Wimp.¡±

    ¡°I heard that.¡± His words finally brought out the memory. My first day of school, when I¡¯d first arrived here. Mom had made Tommy change, and he felt self-conscious around me.

    It felt like an eternity ago¡­ the boys didn¡¯t even get along with me back then. How was that only three years ago?

    ¡°You guys gotta stay for the photoshoot, remember?¡± Kyle came down, dressed in a white dress shirt. His hair was combed neatly. But while his top half was decent, his bottom half was dressed in sweatpants. At my look of confusion, he said, ¡°Zoom meeting.¡±

    ¡°Mom, please just let me go and finish college,¡± Jack said.

    ¡°Susan, come on,¡± Dad agreed.

    ¡°Just one picture! Stand over here.¡± She pushed us in front of the stairs. Lonnie sat next to me, licking his lips, and wagged his tail excitedly. He was just as enthused to start college with me.

    We posed together, Jack smiling unenthusiastically. I suddenly felt a presence behind me, which triggered my survival instincts. They were still there, despite all this time without that kind of danger haunting me every day. My elbow jerked back into someone¡¯s stomach and a groan resounded in my ear.

    Both of us turned, startled, and saw Tommy sinking to the floor while clutching his stomach. Harry jumped back, avoiding the same fate as my hand closed into a fist. Lonnie happily barked, standing on his hind legs and pawing at the two.

    ¡°When did you get here?¡± Jack exclaimed, laughing.

    ¡°An hour ago,¡± Tommy said, still out of air.

    I helped him up, apologizing, and then crushed the air out of his lungs once again with a hug. Harry came and embraced me, kissing my head. He turned to Lonnie and playfully hugged him, sending both of them to the floor, baby-talking him all the way. Lonnie panted happily and his tail was on the verge of smacking someone in the face.

    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

    ¡°We thought we could surprise the two kiddos still living at Mom and Dad¡¯s,¡± Tommy said, pursing his lips babyishly.

    Jack roughly shoved his head. ¡°Or you¡¯re already feeling homesick and you want to move back in with Mommy and Daddy.¡±

    ¡°Not a chance.¡± Tommy quickly retracted his words. ¡°Not like that, though- I mean- Mom, Dad, you know I love you-¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, whatever,¡± Dad chuckled. ¡°As long as you visit, I have no complaints. It¡¯s not like it¡¯s a dream having all five of you kids here, you know.¡±

    ¡°Harry, shouldn¡¯t you be at Waterford right now?¡± Mom asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go to Labor Day. It¡¯s boring.¡± He dusted the dog hair off of his Waterford hoodie, but it was pretty hopeless. He¡¯d have to give it a wash. ¡°I kinda want to go with you guys, actually.¡±

    ¡°Good idea. You can babysit Di so I don¡¯t have to,¡± said Jack.

    ¡°I¡¯m 19.¡± I punched his side.

    ¡°You¡¯re 19,¡± he imitated, messing up my hair. I leaned away with a squeal, protecting my perfect bun. He laughed and sung, ¡°Baby.¡±

    ¡°Dingbat,¡± I sang back.

    ¡°Hey.¡± Dad gave us a brief, stern look. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s get in the picture.¡±

    Mom took a picture of all of us first, then brought a chair to prop the phone on so we could take a family picture. It was quite messy, with everyone moving or making weird faces, but we eventually settled on one where I had a confused smile, Jack was whining at Tommy, and Kyle was clutching Harry¡¯s hair.

    ¡°Okay, we need to go,¡± Jack said.

    ¡°Seriously, can I go? Greenfield¡¯s better at this than Waterford,¡± Harry begged.

    ¡°You should transfer, then,¡± I said.

    ¡°Nah.¡±

    After more hugs and kisses goodbye, we headed to Greenfield¡¯s campus. Tommy had a used car, turning down Mom and Dad¡¯s offer to buy a brand-new one, since he insisted on buying one himself. Our parents had still paid for it, but he paid them back monthly. He was working two jobs while finding a way to open his business.

    Surprisingly, he was doing quite well since finishing trade school. Mom and Dad had kickstarted his career, of course, but from then, he¡¯d been very clever with his finances and finding jobs. He worked part-time as a Music teacher at elementary schools and also took babysitting jobs. He was really good with kids. Kyle was helping him plan his music business, already finding an empty space for him.

    Kyle was doing great in his new job. He was working overtime now that he was getting married soon. Nicole was working as a data analyst in a different company, so they had a good base to start on. I could hardly wait. All our brothers were Best Men and I was the Best Woman. Nicole had four Maids of Honor and one Man of Honor to match.

    Jack was going to coach teams at a high school after graduation¡ª definitely not Summit High¡¯s, though. He deserved better than to coach his former friends¡¯ younger siblings. He needed ¡°fresh, new blood that actually has that spirit of teamwork¡±¡ª his words, not mine.

    I sent Tony our pictures once I received them from Mom. He liked all of them and texted, Have a great day, ily. He finally decided to go out of state to Olympia University in Washington to become a teacher. It was hard for me at first, but if that was where he felt happy, then that was enough for me.

    I LOVE YOU TOO, I texted back, sending many love emojis.

    I got another text from Addie. She was 12 now, but I always imagined her as that little girl I met when I was on my first date¡­ not exactly a date, but my first outing with Tony.

    Hi Diana! Have a great first day at college! Tell me allll about it!!! she¡¯d written.

    Thank you Addie! I don¡¯t have classes yet but I¡¯ll send you pics of today! It¡¯s Labor Day

    Ohhh ok! Yes definitely send me pics! And tell me about everything!!

    I will! You too, Ms. 6th grader!

    (Giggling emoji) I will promise!

    Middle school¡­ I took a deep breath. She was a tough cookie. Lots of her friends were going to the same school, and she still went to the after-school program at the Deaf school. She would be fine. Besides, if any bratty, pubescent 13-year old messed with her, they¡¯d have to answer to Tony and me.

    I prayed that even if Tony and I grew apart and went back to being friends, I¡¯d still have this bond with Addie. In a way, she felt like a little sister to me.

    Don¡¯t be jealous, Ames, I thought, smiling at the sky. A pang of sadness briefly hit me, wishing she could be starting college with me. But I reminded myself of how happy she was that day I met her, how peaceful it all felt, and the pain subsided, reducing to a smaller ache.

    Di whats ur major again? Sams asking, Harry texted from Tommy¡¯s car.

    Social work, I answered, with a minor in creative writing. Chills ran through my spine. I could hardly wait to explore both of my passions in school. I knew I¡¯d probably have a lot of homework, but I¡¯d still make time for that autobiography I had planned.

    I had diaries from since 2023 to build off on, and I remembered enough from my old diaries to tell my story. It would be a very trying task, revisiting my past, but if I overcame that, it would be a big step. I could bring hope to other foster kids out there¡ª remind them that there was always a light for everyone.

    Of course, most of them probably weren¡¯t switched at birth with a stillborn baby, and they wouldn¡¯t eventually find their blood family by being adopted because they looked like their deceased, long-lost twin. But everyone had a family. Everyone had a chance. I wanted to show them that.

    Even now, they planned to foster more children once Kyle moved in with Nicole. I¡¯d also gone engagement-ring browsing with Jack. He wasn¡¯t going to pop the question just yet, but it was in mind.

    As for me¡­ I wasn¡¯t ready to be out on my own just yet. One day, I probably would be. Maybe I¡¯d convince Mom and Dad to let me dorm in a couple years, just to start getting more independent. Wouldn¡¯t Jack be furious at that? Hmm¡­ maybe not. That felt a bit mean.

    But with every year, I was better, more capable, more happy. Maybe I¡¯d reach a point where I wouldn¡¯t need Lonnie to be at my side every second of the day. I looked at him in the back seat. He was sitting down, as good a boy as he always was, with that constant dog smile on his face.

    ¡°You ready for school, Lonnie?¡± I said.

    He licked his lips in response.

    ¡°You nervous?¡±

    He shifted in his seat, as if saying ¡®yes¡¯.

    ¡°I am, too. But it¡¯ll be fun.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll be fine,¡± said Jack. ¡°You¡¯ll eventually get bored, like me.¡± He shifted the gear to start parking.

    ¡°You¡¯re bored because you¡¯re boring.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m a very fun person.¡±

    ¡°So your idea of fun is sitting in your room and doing nothing?¡±

    ¡°Excuse me, I have homework.¡±

    I laughed. ¡°You play on your computer. I¡¯ve seen you.¡±

    ¡°I need breaks!¡± He flicked my ear. ¡°You¡¯ll see when you¡¯re a senior.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m not. I¡¯m a freshman, and I¡¯m gonna enjoy my life.¡±

    ¡°Talk to me when you have 50 essays and 100 papers due by the end of the week.¡±

    I clicked my tongue. ¡°Stop exaggerating. You¡¯re just lazy.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t blame me.¡± He finished parking the car.

    We got out and headed to the campus, which was bustling with activity. Freshman students rolling huge carts with their belongings, groups of friends taking pictures, families carrying heaps of things from their cars. Music boomed from a speaker somewhere and decorative banners hung over the dorm buildings, which buzzed with the most people.

    Dorm life sure did seem fun¡­ but the idea of living with a random stranger in a tiny room all year scared me.

    Tommy and Harry came out of their car, coming to stand next to me and Jack. I clutched my backpack straps, taking myself back to my first day at Summit High. I wasn¡¯t that girl anymore.

    ¡°You ready for college, Di?¡± Jack held out his hand.

    I took a breath and accepted his hand. ¡°Yeah. So ready.¡±

    Tommy put an arm around me as we walked onto the festive grounds.

 Authors Note

    WOW. I can''t believe you''ve reached the end of the story!!! After almost four years of working on this book, I''m so glad I attracted new readers! I didn''t expect a teen drama to take off so well on Royal Road! Thank you all so so so much for your support and feedback (especially feedback!). This version of the story will probably stay up for a while until I get around to revising it. In the meantime, comment whatever feedback you have (honest but constructive please, I can''t stress this enough, I don''t want to have to report or block anyone), whether it''s on this chapter, on the other chapters, or in your reviews! I will take note of all your advice for when I revise.

    One thing readers have said is that the story seems to drag, and by re-reading it, I noticed that I do drag plotlines and add unnecessary chapters. My goal is to shorten the book, so I will take note of what chapters are the least needed. Feel free to comment on what chapters you feel should stay or go! I am rethinking my method at the beginning of the book (telling from the POV of a 4-year old) and I''ll see what I can do to work around the 1st-person narrative. Also, sorry about the weird updates the past couple days, for some reason I had these scheduled until Saturday so I had to manually update them.

    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    Meanwhile, you can read my reupload of Versus, my scifi, which I''ve worked on for six years already! Read it here: https://https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/80265/versus-parts-i-and-ii</a>

    My upcoming book is my first-ever LitRPG!!!! I haven''t gotten to actually writing it yet, but I will update you.

    Until then, I love you all, and I''ll see you!