《Death’s Desire. Smerti Ohota》


 Prologue

    // April 16, around ten o¡¯clock in the evening //


    ¡°My death shall be beautiful¡­¡± was the line in the diary of an eleven-year-old girl that now on the inside of my eyelids blazing in the darkness.


    For as long as I can remember, I have never been afraid of death. The feeling of walking on the edge, the nearness of the unknown and the end of the pain ¨C I had always been drawn to take a sip from the cup of the Death Reaper. In a way, it was my dream to leave beautifully... and beautiful. I prepared for it for a long time, it took me a while to get there, and now it is clear that my every move, every action, every decision I made led to this moment. In the box in the bottom drawer of my bedroom dresser was an ampoule of poison ¨C quick and painless.


    I wanted to leave at sunset, sitting on a rocking bench in the garden, looking up at the sky, watching the stars light up. I wanted to breathe in the scents of wild roses and daisies growing haphazardly underfoot, listen to the birds in the bushes of bird cherry and just smile ¨C insanely happy and easy, not worrying about tomorrow, not regretting the past in my last heartbeat. All my life I had planned for these last breaths to forget about the whole world, about duty and responsibility, about family and friends, about my mangled soul and broken psyche in childhood. I wanted to get lost and feel alive for once in my life. And then leave, feeling life itself without regret on my lips.


    And now... I grinned, coming to my senses. I was dreaming some kind of delusion, like I¡¯d been kidnapped, dragged into a dark basement and stripped for an organ operation... I opened my eyes sharply, but the picture didn¡¯t change, it was dark and almost silent. The sound of club music and people¡¯s laughter came as if from behind a very thick glass.


    My throat was tightened by a wide garrotte, there were metal hoops on my arms and legs, and I seemed to be in a standing position, as my heels were already aching from the immobility and heaviness.


    ¡°Hey, can anyone hear me?¡± I shouted, but the question thumped deafly against the wall in front of me, not breaking through.


    So...


    ¡°I¡¯m not in a coffin, am I?¡± I was thinking aloud, to put a calming note on the situation.


    I tried to move my right leg, but my knee was chained, the velvet upholstery was tickling my skin.


    ¡°This is going to be the craziest joke of my life,¡± I laughed, wanting to chase away the incipient fear with this ridiculous action.


    Yes, I wanted to die, but in the ¡®dead suitcase¡¯ I planned to be already lifeless. My heart beat faster, the panic hadn¡¯t yet manifested itself, but my breathing was coming in quicker and wheezier than usual.


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    If this continues, how long will I stay? How much air is there?


    With my head, the only part of my body I could move, I tried tapping on the back wall. But even the part of the mind responsible for meaningless and unfounded hope was categorically pessimistic.


    I closed my eyes, relaxing completely. Despair was supposed to set in, but the hopelessness didn¡¯t come. I was going to die anyway, so how was the suffocation from lack of air worse than the poison?


    Except that the agony of death frightened me a little...


    Sometimes I would slip into unconsciousness, losing touch with reality, but time after time I would wake up in the dark, in a cramped space. It was getting harder to breathe. I was thirsty and wanted to go to the toilet.


    I cursed myself a thousand times for deciding to visit the dentist before dying.


    Suddenly something subtly changed. The outside world grew louder, invisible shutters clicked, the front wall moved away. There were people around, the light of the lamps deafening the vision, but too loud music and laughs of the audience cut the ears.


    ¡°Who¡¯s here?¡± I was approached by a guy who reeked of alcohol. Staggering around, he almost bumped his nose into my chest. It was only now that I realized that I was completely naked in front of the drunken party people, with only a small wooden sign covering my nipples, which were sharpened in the cold. ¡°Oh, look, there¡¯s something written here... ¡®Be-e-wa-re ov the-e bo-mb!¡¯ he spelled it out, causing the others to crack up in another burst of laughter.


    Another taller guy with long blond hair stepped out of the crowd, squinted his eyes at me and ran his gaze over the inscription.


    ¡°Look, Grant,¡± he turned to someone I couldn¡¯t see, ¡°she¡¯s quite good.¡±


    ¡°Not an atomic weapon, but it¡¯s a small bomb,¡± the chuckles came from the cheering lads.


    ¡°More like a grenade. You wouldn¡¯t mind throwing one of those after you¡¯ve used it.¡±


    ¡°I like mines better...¡±


    The company was getting more and more heated, making me blush and angry. I would have preferred never to hear those words and expressions. And I wanted to run away, but I still couldn¡¯t move even my fingers.


    ¡°There¡¯s a button,¡± the first guy tapped clumsily on the round plate next to my right shoulder.


    The shackles came undone and I flew to the floor, hitting my knees painfully, but I quickly shifted and covered myself with my hands. I wanted to put my eyelids down and plug my ears, not to feel the drunken stares, not to hear the conversations. But I searched, dashing my eyes around my surroundings, for a way out, any exit, an opening for escape.


    Suddenly the crowd parted and I found myself ten meters from a low platform in the center of the hall. There were other people sitting in the chairs, more serious, more sober, higher in status and position. Some were sipping whisky and smoking cigars, but all of them were also looking at me with idle curiosity.


    I glanced up at the man in the middle chair, and he leaned forward to get a better look at me. He was still very young, light skin, thin wrists crossed under his chin. Narrow black eyes, hair a shade lighter. But when I caught his gaze, an electric shock shot through my soul. He stared at me silently, studying me, but it made me want to run away.


    And I realized clearly that I would never be able to forget those eyes.


    They pierced, drowned, and poured over me with indifference.


    They were so clear and memorable.


    It sent shivers down my spine.

 01. I don’t play like that

    // 36 hours ago //


    ¡°We all die, but we don¡¯t all live,¡± with this phrase, which shattered my whole established world, the president began this morning.


    I remember the apple tree petals bouncing gently off the branches and drowning in the air currents, the scent spreading around, the grass turning green, gaining sap, and the belated dandelions blooming. Spring had come early.


    I remember the scalding taste of coffee, the bitter steam touching my lips, the stains on the table from the damp cloth, the grumbling noise of the dishwasher, the waiter taking the plates away from the table.


    I remember the rattling of the hologram over the surface of the infovisor, the stern, wrinkled face of the head of the country, our protector and bulwark of security and prosperity. I remember the dark gaze, staring fearlessly into nowhere, the wide mouth that spoke weighty and so dangerous to the sanity of many.


    ¡°The Federation Council is divided on this matter, but my vote has been decisive. By the power vested in me by the people, I declare the shutdown of all Ainsoft servers and the closure of associated businesses and organisations that keep the virtual world running. In three days¡¯ time, at precisely ten o¡¯clock in the morning, the satellites will be knocked out of orbit.¡±


    I remember the cup slipping from my cold fingers, breaking the silence with a wild clang, shards decorating the tile floor. Somewhere beneath my chest, a new feeling ached, still faint and uncontrasted, but tears already stung my eyes with pity for myself and for the rest of the world at the same time.


    What does it mean ¡®will be knocked out ¡®? What is meant by ¡®will shut down all the servers¡¯? Are they serious? Is the president making a joke on the eve of the election?


    There has been talk of closing down Virtul for a long time, but few assumed that the leftist party would move on from idle talk to action, much less such decisive action. If they destroy the game, they will not only undermine the country¡¯s economy but also break the lives of millions of people. Many will lose the meaning of life.


    The hologram light went out, the visor buzzed for a few seconds and then went into sleep mode. I closed my eyes and whispered the login word, the bars and numbers lit up under my eyelids. The lenses warmed up a little, loading additional gigabytes of the latest update. It seemed this time to be literally the last.


    ¡°Good morning, player 13-06-13. Nice to see you back in the world of reality breakers,¡± the System greeted me in a pleasant, deep voice. ¡°Shall I send you straight to the teleportation tower or to the training room?¡±


    ¡°No. First to the town, the central square.¡±


    ¡°It shall be as you¡¯ve ordered.¡±


    The surroundings immediately went dark, and a loading line appeared on the bottom left. I crossed my arms across my chest, prepared to endure this slow boot-trial. The news was likely to excite not only the players of Unica, but of other countries as well, so the fountain square would now be crowded. Everyone was eager to get into the gossip cradle and complain about life or gloat over others. To everyone¡¯s taste.


    ¡°While the city of Vairan is loading, please listen to the messages. The first one¡­¡±


    I snapped my fingers quietly and lifted my right hand to increase the sound.


    ¡°Mom, this is Adisi. I just got home from school. I¡¯ve already had lunch and done my homework, can I go visit Dixie? I know you¡¯ll let me, so I left early. Thanks, mom.


    Also, when are you and dad going to buy me a tame dravosaurus? Vicky and Michaelir already have ones and ride them to school. Buy me one, too, huh? I found out that if I upgrade it to level 30 and craft a control collar, it will be faster than our sports car.


    And yes, if on the way to school I suddenly get attacked by wild irglings or toothbenders, a sports car can¡¯t protect me, but a dravosaurus can, because every couple of seconds he regenerates his health scale to a hundred points.


    Kisses, mom. I hope my arguments have convinced you. You and dad still have the money from selling that rare potion you made last month, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but smile. Hardly a week goes by when Di is already asking her to buy something super expensive again. Where am I supposed to find a dravosaurus in the middle of a spring hunt? Only if it¡¯s in the Crackling Woods in the lower dungeons of Virtul. I¡¯ll get Vera and Kitana to buy some new swords. It¡¯s been a long time since we¡¯ve been to a high level instance. It might be a good way to have some fun...


    The smile faded from my face. No, we weren¡¯t going to have any fun. I clenched my teeth until it hurt, my fingernails digging into my skin to cover the pain of my soul with the pain of my body. Everything inside me was overturning, shaking and threatening to collapse, to shatter into tiny pieces.


    How did we come to this? It wasn¡¯t enough for the government to mess up our material lives with endless new laws and taxes, now they¡¯ve decided to mess up our mental balance? Apathetic and insane people are much easier to rule, aren¡¯t they?


    ¡°Second message.¡°


    ¡°Hey, menacing little swordswoman, who hasn¡¯t picked up a weapon bigger than a kitchen knife in five days, are you going to earn points for the position of deputy guild leader? Am I encouraging these slacker guildmates to vote for you for nothing? Black Wolf may be a loner in life, but she¡¯s got followers, too. Some kind of competition. Are you going to do politics in our clan? She¡¯s going to be the boss for a second term... yeah, right. Where the hell are you? To be at the training ground by ten in the morning!¡±


    Vera, as always, was sharp-tongued and quick to crack. I didn¡¯t care much for her nagging for whatever reason, but now it was a little offensive. She was the one who had asked me to brew a potion to make the leather armor stronger. And she complained about something like that? She wasn¡¯t the one who had spent two days in the marshes looking for pungent cloudberries.


    ¡°Third message.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to stay on the expedition for two more days, my love. We stumbled upon the tracks of a white dragon. If I¡¯m lucky, I¡¯ll bring home rich trophies. By the way, I found the lake pearl you told me about. You can get it after completing a quest from Avisoriel, the maiden of Bitter Lake. Did you get the message from Adi about the dravosaurus yet?¡±


    Just as I was about to press the voicemail answer button, the wind hit me in the face, twirling the hem of my traveling dress, one braid on my temple unraveled, and I mentally made a note to go into appearance editing mode. After all, I had wanted a short haircut for a long time.


    ¡°The central city of Vairan, peaceful territory, western district. 10:03 a.m.,¡± a male program voice pathetically proclaimed the caption that appeared in the corner of the screen.


    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    ¡°Because of the large concentration of players in the location some objects will be displayed superficially, without detailed processing,¡± the System picked up the baton.


    ¡°Would you like to rent a vehicle?¡± a friendly, tanned old man raised his head, invitingly pointing to the panel of available means of transportation.


    Ignoring the invitation, I pressed the inventory button and summoned the mercenary¡¯s cloak. I didn¡¯t want to show my face in the capital and run into a lot of friends and enemies. The streets of Virtul were most likely in chaos, resembling the imminent apocalypse. Many players probably felt freedom and impunity because the end was near.


    Yeah, bad luck for the foreign regulars. They¡¯re in a tough three days until our servers get shut down. I clenched my jaw again.


    ¡°If I could, I would kill the president and all his henchmen,¡± I breathed out softly.


    I put the hood over my head, pushed the door open, and went outside.


    The upper city was dazzling in brightness and light. The sun, the countless lanterns that don¡¯t go out even during the day (no one knew if this was a bug or a specific innovation of the developer), and the shining half-glazed store windows on the ground floors. If ever there was a paradise for ocular masochists, this was it.


    I pulled the thick fabric tighter over my forehead. I could have gone to the nearest store and splurged on some goggles with dark lenses, but I didn¡¯t want to waste time.


    And the western part, as always, is relatively peaceful. Usually these areas are assigned to the kingdom of Rith. There live quiet guys, pacifist people, who grind frantically on bots and prefer not to engage in conflicts between clans, parties and other game factions.


    I displayed the map in front of me. The tiny green dot that showed my location was blinking away in the middle of nowhere, a stone¡¯s throw from the edge of the city. I was grateful the System hadn¡¯t dropped me off in the woods nearby.


    Rivers of red, blue, and gray dots flocked to the center, and even the NPCs seemed to think that today¡¯s event was too significant, most of them snapped out of their anchor points.


    Yes, it will be difficult for players to catch them, take a quest from them or complete a mission. The System likes to make mischiefs from time to time; the NPCs sometimes go on a round-the-world trip within the city. They are then almost unrealistic to find.


    I had one such occasion. I spent two months looking for Gwynn the shoemaker, and he was sitting in a tavern two doors down, drinking tea with the local landlord.


    The sea of dots on the map was stirring, crowding and densifying. How many players were there already? A few million? The news, of course, interested everyone without exception.


    Soon I, too, will be a drop in this human digital ocean.


    I raised my hand to the sky, outlining the seal of the summoning. The bracelet on my wrist warmed up, answering, even purred. I hadn¡¯t called my pet in a long time, and it missed me.


    ¡°Aris, appear.¡±


    The shrill cry of a huge bird, a shadow obscured the sun. I looked up, and barely had time to recoil before a hawk fell from the sky like a stone, slowed to the ground and landed softly on my side, begging me to stroke its neck. A few seconds for petting, the hawk¡¯s mobile eyes closed in pleasure for a moment.


    ¡°Did you miss me, honey?¡± I couldn¡¯t contain my smile, and my fingers slid down the bird¡¯s back, brushing over its feathers.


    Aris let out a loud half-squeal, startling the two NPCs passing by.


    ¡°Shall we fly?¡±


    The airmount understandingly moved sideways toward me, and a rider¡¯s saddle appeared. One second, the last preparations before takeoff, and the sky was a little closer, the clouds parted beneath the broad wings. Higher, higher, I wanted to go even higher.


    ¡°Over there...¡± I mentally marked the point on the map.


    The hawk flinched, sensing the direction, flew a little forward and whistled down. And the soul, it seemed, decided to compete in speed, swooped down to my belly and hushed, watching with curiosity for the butterflies that fluttered inside me with delight.


    The square was really crowded. After letting Ari go, I sneaked into one of the old bar-like diners. The plasma screens looked ridiculous in a medieval setting. At first glance. Over time, you get used to everything.


    The sniper rifles of the latest generation also did not fit the rapier and axe set either, but they even looked harmonious on the two-meter tall ogre. Once again I marveled at the tastes of some players who purposely disfigured the avatar¡¯s appearance, and then I pushed my way through the throng to the visors.


    And the news was terrible. On one channel the announcer was talking about ballet and graceful swans, on another one there was an already useless debate about Virtul, and on the third channel drone cameras were filming a bunch of protesters storming the police and fire trucks.


    ¡°It¡¯s like going back six centuries in development,¡± a short nymph with fluffy ears and a tail whispered frustratedly watching the latest video.


    ¡°First they will take away our Vir, then our homes, then our last money, our freedom. And then what? Life?¡± a werewolf-fox was clearly eager to start another uprising of gray separatists, brutally suppressed, by the way. ¡°People, citizens of Virtul and Unica, will we tolerate this?¡±


    Some supported the redhead, but most just looked doomed to a bleak future. Knowing our president and his dictatorial policies, there was no way to make a riot ¨C all ingredients would scatter when the military machine arrived.


    ¡°But how can this be?¡± a woman sobbed in the corner, ¡°I have a son and brother here. Both of them have been buried long ago, their eternity imprints stored only on the Cardin server, and if it¡¯s shut down, I won¡¯t be able to see them anymore. It¡¯s cruel and wrong!¡±


    Some thought in the back of my mind flashed and slipped away. I tried to catch it, but in vain. It ran around, taunting me, but no clarity was forthcoming, and the visor broadcasted growing areas of conflagration. Perhaps this time the military power will not be enough to quell the nation¡¯s resentment. The people would no longer fight for freedom, but for life. After all, Virtul is indeed, for many of us, our everything.


    ¡°And the latest news. Thirty radical activists set themselves on fire outside the government building in protest. Thirteen people were saved, the fire spread to nearby buildings, but the flames were extinguished. Representatives of the Ministries of Health and Security urge citizens not to engage in provocative methods of protest that threaten the health of others and the protesters themselves¡­¡±


    Now there was more anger and hostility in the air. Everyone probably wondered if he was ready to sacrifice his life for the sake of the game.


    I didn¡¯t know. I had not yet come to the realization that soon the world I had known since childhood, the world I loved, the world I knew, the world I was ready to devote my dreams and time to, would be gone. I stood in the middle of a stirring sea of people, a brewing gale, and stared blankly at the holograms and text summaries that flashed in rapid lines.


    Again and again the recordings from drones, phones and video cameras were scrolling before my eyes. I woke up from the surprised exclamations. The visors went off one by one, all went out, and for a moment the hall was enveloped in deep silence. But then dozens of holograms of the same man flashed simultaneously. A man? Or rather... a monster?


    Only a monster in human form could steal the world from us.


    ¡°As I said before, our decision is final. Satellites and servers will be disabled without the possibility of restoration. Your futile attempts to go against the law and the system will lead to nothing, all rebellions will soon be suppressed. After three days, any activity related to the game of Virtul will be considered illegal. Violators will be brought to justice. The five terrorists who were captured today for attempting to blow up the building of the Ministry of Internal Control will be executed at sundown.¡±


    A groan of horror and unconscious fear ran through the crowd. I closed my eyes to avoid seeing the face of the man who was announcing capital punishment with such ease. As if he didn¡¯t just cut someone¡¯s life short with one word, but was telling us the algorithm for making a banana smoothie.


    ¡°I urge you to be calm. By a majority vote of Parliament, our country has decided to go the way of eradicating virtual reality. Think about your lives, about your loved ones, about our future generation. Our children will thank us for the fact that one day we chose a real life, that we chose to live in the present, not in numbers and fictional reveries.¡±


    ¡°To hell with this parliament together with their ¡®right¡¯ idea, they don¡¯t understand anything!¡±


    ¡°And the president, too! Let him burn in hell, the antsy bastard...¡±


    The appeal of the head of state went for a second round, as if they had forgotten to change the record. The scolding towards the country¡¯s top officials became more venomous and subtle. And I finally caught up with the elusive thought...


    In this world, I have only one close person left.


    ¡°Dad,¡± I exhaled into the void.


    And again there was the caf¨¦, the aroma of coffee, and the music from the rarity radio. My heart raced in fright, my breathing quickened, as if I¡¯d run barefoot back and forth to the international train station.


    Father must not find out about the closure of Virtul. He simply won¡¯t be able to bear the news.


    ¡Á ¡Á Death¡¯s desire ¡Á ¡Á


    ¡Á We all die, but we don¡¯t all live ¡Á

 02. Never fall in love pt1

    The soles of my shoes crunched as I stepped onto the glass field of cup shards. The coffee drips still glistened in the sunlight, driving me to embarrassment. I was ashamed of the floor art, though it transformed the interior, made it much more cozy.


    I crouched down to collect the six surviving large pieces of ceramic, my index finger already touched the sharp, rough around the edges of the chip...


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯ll clean it up now,¡± the electronic child¡¯s voice, too cuddly and friendly, tickled my ear unpleasantly. I still haven¡¯t found out the reason why the house cleaners were so loud: maybe the developers screwed up the vocal chords (mixed up a couple of numbers and commands), or the cafe owner was deaf in both ears.


    And blind. In both visual beauty receptors. There were cheaper and prettier versions, the global market was large. So why, among all the variety of home helpers, did he choose the TP-32?


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I leaned over slightly and patted the white machine on the back. The robot sang the universal song of hospitality in response.


    ¡°We all die, but we don¡¯t all live...¡± Again the face of the most hated man in the country appeared on the visor. Probably no ruler has ever been so close to his overthrow as Rizor Cirkul after his five-minute appeal to the people.


    I put the ring on the payment pad, the little gem on my index finger blinked a few times, informing me that money from my account had been withdrawn. And I hurried to leave the empty cafeteria. I didn¡¯t want to hear that harsh voice of the nastiest man in the universe once more.


    On the one hand, you were right, Mr. President. Yes, all mortals die, but you were wrong about life. I lived in Virtul, I felt more alive in it, and I think half the world would agree with me on this ¨C having dared to encroach on our game, you¡¯ve become a threat to our lives.


    You dug yourself a hole on the eve of the election. I¡¯ll bet my appendix that there won¡¯t be a third term in your career.


    It was apple blossom snowing outside. I stopped in the middle of the street, the air was filling my lungs with the sweet scent of the sunny morning. I closed my eyes for a second and raised my face to the sun, the rays touched my cheeks warmly. It had been a long time since we had such a nice day in the capital.


    The silence of the alley was diluted by the growing rumble from the Theater Square; it seemed that people still had hope, since they could go out to rallies and protests. I¡¯d have to go around.


    I bit my lip in frustration. It was too long and dangerous to wander around the back alleys. But trying to cross a crowd that could be swept up in a wave of rage at any moment was even more perilous.


    The new boots had left me with a few minor blisters. They had managed to ruin my already dull mood, so I returned home sullen and despondent. I kicked off my shoes and stomped barefoot to the garage.


    ¡°Father.¡±


    My voice sank into the darkness. If there weren¡¯t heaps of electronic junk and stacks of books, the echo would have gladly answered me instead of silence.


    ¡°Dad,¡± I called a little louder, looking around at the piles of tools and the couple of plates of sandwiches on the work table that were already dried up. He hadn¡¯t even touched his breakfast today.


    ¡°You¡¯re here,¡± was an indifferent reply from the darkest corner. I adjusted my lenses for midnight vision. My father was squatting in front of the mono-server box, fiddling with the soldering iron in the intricacies of the green and blue microcircuits.


    ¡°You should eat at least¡­¡±


    He didn¡¯t even hear me. With hands trembling with impatience, my father screwed the protective cover back on, dropped his glasses, rubbed his tired eyes with his palms, and lay down on the couch. His gray hair stuck together long ago, and I had no idea how many days he hadn¡¯t showered. His skinny fingers traced blindly across his chest, found the medallion with the imprint of eternity in it. A slight movement, and the locket, I didn¡¯t see it ¨C I felt it, sparked with technomagic.


    Envy pricked me unpleasantly. My father had never allowed me to take the pendant with my mother¡¯s imprint of eternity. Only once, on my eighteenth birthday, he allowed me to see her in Virtul. The rest of the time, day and night, he lived in his own world, surrounded by the care of the only woman he truly loved. A woman who had last laughed and breathed fifteen years ago.


    My father was called a gricker. He was so deeply immersed in digital reality, so addicted to Virtul, that if he had not been one of the main developers of this very game, he would now be scratching the walls with his gaze in a country dispensary, wrapped in a straitjacket.


    I threw off my cloak and yanked the scarf sharply, trying to untie it quickly and painlessly. No, I was obviously in a good mood this morning, drawn to creative achievements in the form of tying knots, and now I couldn¡¯t free my neck from this noose. I gave up this futile task, sat down in my favorite chair, and closed my eyes.


    The login word, the customary loading screen. And the System¡¯s voice, so familiar to me, announced: ¡°Nice to see you back in Virtul, player 13-06-13. Shall I send you straight to the teleportation tower or to the training room?¡±


    I bit my lip, thinking for a moment.


    ¡°To the guild mansion... no, wait. To the Central Market.¡±


    Even magic was not able to speed up the loading of the largest Virtul location, the inter-world marketplace, where not only game trinkets were traded, even the actual currencies of the countries that supported the game mode were honored. I opened the inventory window, and while there was time, I scoured it for trash and long-forgotten junk.


    ¡°The province of the Grey Mountains, Agri Central Market, northern pavilions. 11:34 a.m.,¡± the information note alerted.


    The first thing to do was to go to the fence. The inventory bags were empty in about thirty seconds, I sold everything I¡¯d accumulated over the years. Surprisingly, parting with my favorite weapons and equipment wasn¡¯t so hard. Either I just fell asleep in a dream of conscious reality, or I had an unprecedented attack of indifference, but I looked with slight apathy at the overstuffed wagons of the hoarder, driving away with my hard-earned goods.


    The money was even more than I expected to get. Well, there was only one thing left to accomplish. The last gift to my daughter was supposed to be unforgettable. I had to try hard to find the biggest dravosaurus on the market.


    I walked around six corrals before I stumbled upon the ¡°Wild and Unbridled¡± shop. I grinned, the name spoke for itself.


    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Looking for something special?¡±


    The shopkeeper first looked out from behind the counter, grunted, dragged the box to the stand, and froze, smiling at me with empty black eyes without whites.


    ¡°Dravosaurus,¡± I didn¡¯t say in riddles. I had no desire to waste my time now, though another day I would have tortured the System. I liked sometimes bringing the NPCs to white heat and stuttering.


    ¡°Oh, I have something to offer you,¡± the salesman turned toward the tiny paddocks.


    ¡°The biggest and deadliest,¡± I murmured with a smile. A large sack of gold plumped heavily on the counter.


    The shopkeeper immediately pulled out a box with a picture of a toothy skull from his pocket.


    ¡°Three thousand,¡± this crook set the initial amount.


    I rolled my eyes and sighed. The System wouldn¡¯t let me buy that easily. If you don¡¯t bargain, you won¡¯t get anything.


    ¡°Five hundred,¡± I decided to kill this damn program at once.


    The person opposite rounded his eyes, which made it seem as if two huge black holes had eaten half of his face.


    ¡°Two thousand gold and three hundred silver.¡±


    ¡°A thousand gold pieces and five hundred in small change,¡± I spat an ultimatum in his face and was about to turn around, going to seek my luck in other market stalls.


    The black saucer-eyes turned into squinted slits.


    ¡°Deal.¡±


    In a minute, having signed the formal documents and received the pet¡¯s passport, I was strolling contentedly down the wide street of the market town. A small dravosaurus that looked like a hybrid of a lizard, a gammy dragon, and a fluffy otter was basking in my arms. I couldn¡¯t wait to see Di¡¯s reaction to her new pet, mount and protector.


    But first there was another place waiting for me. I took a teleport crystal out of my pocket.


    ¡°To the guild mansion.¡±


    Daylight flickered, the sky darkened into a black agate haze, and then my eyes were dazzled for a moment by the shimmering northern lights. For a couple of seconds, as the structures loaded up, I admired the tattered skies, blackening more and more with each beat of my heart. The headquarters of the Northern Crown was located, as you might guess, on an icy continent. There was always night, the cold, the glow ringing the sky, and the stars twinkling with distant light. And also endless ice and half-stone plants (the only living creatures, other than players, capable to survive the frosty air of the edge of the world).


    Only in one window of the mansion was a candle burning, which meant the clan sisters were either on a quest or had decided to go on a raid. Although... How could I forget? Three days left...


    I clenched my fingers on the hilt of my sword, chasing away the bleak thoughts. This was no time for regrets.


    And then I took the box with the little dravosaurus in both hands, to make it easier to hold. Unfortunately, I couldn¡¯t put it in my inventory ¨C it was a living creature, and I forgot to buy a special carrier. So I stepped cautiously onto the icy road leading to the guild gates. The silence and the mountains were mesmerizing, and my heart beat faster, excited by such beauty.


    In front of the porch, I turned around in a circle, changing my clothes. The head didn¡¯t like it when we walked around the house not in guild uniform. And the red and white tunic with the dark pants and the high heeled boots looked very nice on me. As for the black cloak with the white crown on the back, I loved it madly.


    The bloody scarlet carpet led me up the stairs, down the couloir, through the hall of fame with the armor of great warriors, the art gallery. I stopped for a moment in front of my portrait. And a high military-style ponytail suited me very well, after all. I made a note to try it someday in real life.


    The door to the office was ajar, I knocked and, without waiting for permission, entered. The head Grid§Ñ was invariably seated at her desk. In my memory, she was the first NPC who hardly ever left her anchor point. If she did leave her favorite chair, it was only in an emergency. The last time was when the war with the Black Wolves was about to spill over into a fifth inter-server war, and Grida went to the enemy¡¯s lair to propose a truce.


    I knelt on one knee, putting my fist to my chest, the formal greeting of our clan. Yes, for many, guilds were just a collection of players, seeking the benefits of teaming up in extra quests, reputation points, and the occasional tidbits that fell to the guildmates (by law, ten percent of the loot went to the guild). But for me and my friends, the Northern Crown was a clan, a family we were proud to be a part of, proud to fight side by side with our sisters.


    ¡°Did my deputy deign to visit me after all?¡± the head resentfully chanted without taking a break from reading the book. ¡°Is the end of the world near, since you finally decided to remember your direct duties?¡±


    You were right as ever, Grida.


    I sank into the second empty chair in the room. The fireplace breathed warmth, it smelled of dry wood and tar. I always felt so relaxed in the guild house. Maybe it was because our mansion was one of the safest places in all of Virtul?


    I raised my eyes to the angry Gri, I missed her so much.


    ¡°No, I¡¯ll deal with my duties some other time. Today I came here to ask you a favor.¡±


    My friend¡¯s black eyebrows furrowed with anticipation.


    ¡°I¡¯m all ears.¡±


    ¡°Can I borrow the Syracillus crystal for a while?¡±


    ¡°Are you going to find a husband?¡± She shook her tail in displeasure, and, seeing that I was not quick to refute her assumption, uttered such a familiar and annoying statement, ¡°Don¡¯t you remember our clan motto? ¡®Never fall in love. Go hard. Survive!¡¯ You still haven¡¯t divorced him?¡±


    I shrugged vaguely. This conversation came up every time I found myself in the head¡¯s office. Having learned from bitter experience, I decided to remain silent.


    ¡®Never fall in love. Go hard. Survive!¡¯ Grida could repeat this phrase sixty times a day. I¡¯ve always had vague doubts, a hunch that the developer in charge of our beloved head was a man-hater. Who knows?


    This theory was also confirmed by the fact that only unmarried female players could join our guild. I was one of the exceptions. I didn¡¯t want to get divorced, but I also wanted to join the guild, so I cheated a little, yeah.


    Although in Virtul almost everyone was equipped with cheats, cheating has always been in use, the players could never live without it. But the System made concessions in this matter. If the cheats did not interfere with the main course of the game and did not cause inconvenience to other players, the penalties for their use were charged, of course, but the cheats themselves were not confiscated.


    So I killed two birds with one stone: I¡¯m married with a child, and the deputy head of one of the most prestigious guilds in Virtul.


    ¡°So, will you give me the crystal?¡±


    She gave me a long, searching look.


    ¡°All right,¡± the head finally came to her verdict. ¡°But if you win me at rock-paper-scissors.¡±


    I raised my eyes to the ceiling.


    Oh, Great Developers! What was in your minds when you were setting up the System? RPS? Seriously?


    With a heavy sigh, I folded my arms across my chest. I needed that crystal badly, or I wouldn¡¯t be able to find Krile in three days. He was hunting in the Uncharted Lands, and the teleports didn¡¯t work there. Only the Syracillus Stone could help, a very rare artifact item that allows you to find any creature in the game, be it a real player, an NPC, or an exceptional mob. No place in the game world has yet been discovered where it could not deliver its keeper.


    Reluctantly, I nodded. You never know the result unless you play the game.


    We threw our hands out in sync.


    ¡°Scissors!¡±


    ¡°Scissors.¡± Grida¡¯s voice sounded calmer, but the gleam in her eyes spoke volumes.


    ¡°Scissors!¡±


    ¡°Paper.¡±


    We shouted the words at the same time, and I froze, afraid to breathe, my heart rejoiced. Uh-huh, I beat my guild head! Grida shrugged in frustration and I was afraid she was going to demand a rematch, but no, the NPC pulled open the top drawer of the desk and placed a crystal that shone with the colors of the seven rainbows in front of me.


    ¡°Thank you, thank you, thank you,¡± I murmured, bowing and retreating towards the exit.


    ¡°Remember,¡± she called out to me, ¡°never fall in love, always go straight ahead and don¡¯t look back, don¡¯t make your heart suffer...¡±


    But I cared little for her advice, I broke the crystal with the inscription ¡®home, sweet home¡¯, closed my eyes and immediately smiled, inhaling the smell of pine and wild lemon, feeling the cold wind that blew from the mountain peaks.


    Ahead were the high arches of the aqueduct, casting a shadow over the valley. Near the woods, on the edge of the forest, there were a couple of cabins nestled together. My husband and I had deliberately chosen the furthest refuge from civilization, in a remote location, so that no one would interfere with our happiness.


    The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, the bees were buzzing, and the butterflies were dancing over the field (perfectly harmless insects, if you don¡¯t touch them). Now, with my high level, they weren¡¯t scary to me, but they used to attack in swarms, and I¡¯d have to swing my sword and cast fire spells for five minutes to get them off my back. Di and Krile were lucky, they were NPCs, and no creature could ever take them. Not like me, real flesh and blood.


    ¡°Mommy!¡±

 Never fall in love pt2

    I turned sharply at the sound, looking at my running daughter with a smile and tears in my eyes. She¡¯s only a couple of years old, yet she¡¯s already grown so much, I hadn¡¯t even noticed. Time flew by so quickly. It seemed like only recently she¡¯d been sick with a very old disease for her race, and Krile and I had walked all over the world to get her medicine. But two and a half years have passed since those sleepless nights I spent in the game...


    I knelt down, my knees resting on the soft ground strewn with flowers. Di squealed and threw herself into my arms, nearly knocking me down on the dark creamy grass. There were days when we could spend the whole day in that field, drowning in the scents of the wild meadow, basking in the gentle weeds that tickled our exposed skin.


    ¡°I missed you. You were gone for a long time,¡± the girl whispered, nuzzling my neck with her nose.


    ¡°Me too, Di, me too,¡± I hugged her warm, living body tighter. And closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of her hair. How delicious she smelled.


    Her heart was thumping hard after running fast, the heat of her breath was scorching my collarbones. To me, she was more alive than anyone else in the world. I didn¡¯t accept, and probably would never understand, the president¡¯s decision. His decree, his selfish choice deprived me of the most precious thing of all ¨C my family.


    ¡°Are you crying?¡± Adisi asked breathlessly, raising her head. Her ears drooped, as if she blamed herself for my tears.


    Yes, the system was always very sensitive to the state of the players and reacted accordingly. Most of the time it pleased me, but now it was cutting my heart. If my NPC-daughter were more apathetic, I wouldn¡¯t feel so bad.


    ¡°I¡¯m so happy that I can see you again,¡± I wiped the tears from my cheeks and kissed my little child on the forehead, soothing her. ¡°I have a present for you.¡±


    ¡°What kind of present?¡± At once the fires of curiosity lit up in her incredibly beautiful eyes.


    I picked up a gift box from the ground with a recent purchase, tossed it into the air under Di¡¯s mesmerized gaze. A flash, a pop, and a huge dravosaurus landed on four paws in front of us. Yea, the seller didn¡¯t cheat, the price was not inflated.


    ¡°O-o-oh,¡± my Adisi groaned admiringly and pressed her hands to her mouth. ¡°Mommy, thank you, thank you, thank you,¡± she babbled, running around her new pet in a circle.


    The dravosaurus squinted warily at the little girl who was peeking under his right front paw, but so far it showed no signs of aggression, so I calmed down.


    ¡°What will you call it?¡±


    Di froze for a moment, then walked over to the monster¡¯s face and fearlessly tugged at its fang.


    ¡°Your name will be Butt,¡± she said seriously and uncompromisingly to the beast, looking directly into his big serpent eye.


    The dravosaurs squinted again, growled faintly, accepting the new name.


    ¡°Why Butt?¡±


    ¡°Michaelir has Fore, that¡¯s what he called his dravosaurus. He¡¯s going to have Fore and I¡¯m going to have Butt. And then we¡¯ll marry them, they¡¯ll have a cub, and we¡¯ll name it Side.¡±


    I snickered and shrugged my shoulders


    ¡°Well, Butt, nice to meet you,¡± I nodded to the monster, which from this day would become my dearest daughter¡¯s personal cutie pet.


    Ugh, that System with the random names and unsurpassed logic, it really freaked me out sometimes.


    ¡°Mom, can I ride my dravosaurus?¡± Di pulled away from her new live toy, making pleading eyes.


    How could I say no to her? I nodded benignly, realizing with a growing cold wave of panic that this might be the last time she would ever ask my permission.


    Adisi climbed up the beast¡¯s back through its tail, sat on its neck, and, grasping the horns, kicked the mount on the shoulder. He perked up, stretched out before our eyes, leaned against the ground, inhaled the air predatorily, and took off ¨C dust surged upwards.


    I stood still for a long time, staring at the valley and the fast-flying dot across the sea of grass. I exhaled and was able to breathe calmly only when Di and Butt disappeared into the woods. I clenched my fingers into fists, trying to keep my mind sober and far from those terrifying thoughts whispering that the melting in the distance figure of my daughter in a bright summer dress would long haunt me in nightmares of a faded past.


    I bent down to pick a bouquet of forget-me-nots. In this world, the inflorescences were slightly larger than their real prototypes, one petal was the size of two of my pinky fingernails. For some reason, in Virtul, I didn¡¯t feel sorry for plucking plants and taking their lives.


    As my father often said, I got my love of flowers from my mother. But I didn¡¯t dare to kill them in reality; the price for my whim to possess plants for a few days was too high. They had short lives as it was.


    I slid the soft, smooth, light blue petal with the pad of my index finger, brought it to my face, and inhaled the fragrant scent of summer, the meadow, and the game itself.


    A wave rolled over the grassy sea, a cloud covered the sun for a moment, and it darkened sharply. But in a few heartbeats, the airy clusters of ¡®white cotton wool¡¯, as Di often called the clouds, floated forth, to the west, toward the cities and the villages. I tossed the buds, and a gust of wind picked up the blossoms, whirled them, and carried on.


    ¡°Fly, I hope you find a new home.¡±


    I watched as the last flower drifted away behind a thicket of hazel trees, where wild hummies (small mole-like animals) usually nested, their hides well sold to the craftsmen. The padded leather was used to make medium-weight armor. I would definitely thin out the family of these critters right now, if not for the latest presidential decree. What¡¯s the point of making money in the game anymore?


    With a heavy heart, I turned reluctantly in the direction of the settlement. Somewhere out there, I couldn¡¯t tell for sure, the tiled roof of our house shone in the sun. Numbness came over me, a storm was raging at the deepest levels of my emotions, but outwardly I was surprisingly calm. It was as if the tempest had not yet reached the surface of the ocean, as if my mind needed a little more time to fully comprehend.


    The house was the one place that was exactly mine. Krile and I had decorated it to our liking, gathering trophies, furnishing and adorning every available nook and cranny. And now it seemed that if I stepped over the threshold, I wouldn¡¯t be able to contain myself, I¡¯d drown myself in a swamp of hysteria. Something inside me, so intangible and obscure that apparently was called the soul, nagged with a dull ache at the thought of never seeing home again.


    But saying goodbye to my dearest refuge in the whole world was something I couldn¡¯t bear. It was hard. It was so hard to see the dark tiled roofs of the settlement below, the river flowing down the hill, the strip of aqueduct fleeing into the distance, so, not wanting to suffer any longer at the sight, I pulled out another portal crystal.


    ¡°The regional city Viron, a peaceful territory. 12:49. There will be light precipitation in the area for the next hour,¡± the System informed as I stepped onto the cobblestone street of my favorite city.


    In the old days, when I had just reached the seventy-fifth level and could finally get into the heart of the Khwarthian province, I used to wander for hours through the quarters of one of the most beautiful places in Virtul. Viron was popularly nicknamed ¡®the Belle of Khwarth¡¯ of the kingdom of Khwarth, where wars occurred five times a month. But despite the incessant hostilities in the area, the capital of the region remained invariably beautiful and crowded. I rather liked the name the NPCs used, ¡®Pearl City¡¯.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    There was indeed a lot of pearl color here: the paint of the buildings, monuments, even the trees ¨C they also cast a kind of pearly glow. And the proximity of Viron to the seashore, where several oyster farms have long worked, also added a special meaning to the title.


    I needed a distraction from my depressing thinking, my body demanded action, new experiences, just to avoid standing in one place, allowing my thoughts to shake my already fragile mental balance today. I turned into the first alley in sight, letting my feet free.


    I liked running from quiet streets to busy ones, and vice versa. The sleeping quarters, deserted and inhabited only by feral cats, sparrows, and the occasional NPC, were quickly interspersed with lively avenues that were rife with all kinds of races. And where the mounts and other, already unliving, means of transportation flaunted their multicolored skins. Carriages were followed by streetcar wagons, intergalactic miniliners raced on the roadway with sports cars and the fastest trotters in the game, the mirans.


    I walked for hours through the seemingly endless city, descended into the underground levels, climbed onto the rooftops, passed through the shopping malls, admired the sea and the approaching sunset at the observation decks, and felt terribly exhausted, even my legs ached. Such pain was called phantom game pain.


    At times, wounds from firearms or edged weapons hurt, too. My brain perceived Virtul as so realistic that it gave out such ¡®surprises¡¯ with my body. Although the pain threshold in the game was almost minimal.


    They said that if you died, the pain felt like hitting your pinky toe on the sharp corner of a chair. Not too high a price to pay for the opportunity to go beyond the edge of Virtul¡¯s life. Some players made a new avatar every day and sought to escape beyond the ¡®verge¡¯, into the netherworld, there too was an established society of its own. The ghosts of the game world were allowed a lot, they were given abilities that even at the last levels with legendary items were difficult to obtain. But at the same time, nearly all interaction with live players was limited to a minimum for them.


    As the first star lit up over Marie Bay and a cold wind blew sharply from the north, bringing a thin crust of ice to the chilled ground after the recent rain, I decided that it was time.


    I brought the Syracillus crystal to my lips and whispered faintly, holding back the tears that had been tearing me up all day.


    ¡°Find Krile.¡±


    The stone in my hands pulsed with neon color, heated up, and after a little thought, exploded with light. It was all the more pleasant to find myself in near darkness. The stark contrast of ¡®day and night¡¯ made me dizzy. I tilted my head up, towards the black sky, studded with constellations and the colored silhouettes of the closest planets.


    I took a few deep breaths to suppress the nausea, and was able to take a couple of steps and look around.


    There was a forest, a mixture of jungle and taiga. Yes, the developers rarely cared about the natural combination of the real world, in Virtul they did whatever they wanted.


    I remember once stumbling upon a grove of flowering cactuses in a swamp. So the unusual forest, teeming with fireflies, fluttering hummingbirds, and rat-raccoons, didn¡¯t surprise me. The pine needles on the trees and under my feet shimmered with a bluish-green inner light, which created an incredible atmosphere of tranquility. And you could not tell that you were in one of the most dangerous places in the game. Few people in their right mind would venture into the Uncharted Lands without the latest upgraded equipment and advanced skills.


    But I did.


    I opened my inventory and pulled out the mob invisibility potion I¡¯d been saving for this occasion. It tasted even nastier than it looked. No wonder why nobody ever used it.


    The point of Krile was highlighted in dark green on the map. My husband was just a short walk away, so I didn¡¯t even summon Aris and decided to walk, especially since it was a sin not to admire the beauty around me.


    A barely visible path, hidden by fern and moss, led me to a clearing where tents and sleeping bags were nestled around a fire. I found my favorite NPC almost immediately, he was writing down in a notebook.


    I nodded to a couple of acquaintances; they weren¡¯t surprised to see me here, since I often visited my husband in his wanderings. Sometimes my soul was so unbearable that only Krile could get me out of my depressive thoughts and feelings.


    I came up behind him and put my hands on his shoulders.


    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you.¡±


    Krile stopped writing, put his pen and notebook in his bag, and then turned to me with the most charming smile.


    ¡°And I¡¯ve been waiting for you to show up.¡± He pulled me to him, cradling me gently in his arms.


    ¡°I stretched out my displeasure of not seeing you for as long as possible.¡±


    He just smiled sadly at my remark, sensing my mood. Got to his feet and gave me his hand. I followed him without question.


    We walked in silence for five minutes, Krile squinting at me occasionally but didn¡¯t start a conversation, while I was deep in my emotions.


    Every time this NPC was around, my heart beat faster. I knew it was the height of insanity to love the soulless System, but what could I do? No other living person evoked as many feelings and desires in me as this silent, unrealistic guy holding my hand right now. I was bathed in these sensations of tenderness and belonging, enjoyed his glances and deliberate gestures, his words and the sound of his voice.


    The forest suddenly ended abruptly, and we found ourselves on the edge of the wild grasslands.


    ¡°I like it.¡±


    I breathed in the cool night air and sat down on the ground.


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s just grass and stars and you and me.¡± Krile dropped down very close to me.


    He put his arm around my waist, pulling me even closer. His arms were warm, so peaceful, and my thoughts dissolved by his touch. For the first time all day, I could truly smile and shake off my frozen expression of indifference.


    My hand reached for his face, my fingers running down his forehead, brushing away his bangs. I caught his every look, every glimpse of his emotions. I stared into his clear blue eyes for a long time, the stars and my reflection gleaming in them. I studied his features over and over again, the scar above his eyebrow, the dimple on his left cheek, the mole above his lip. I had created this mole myself, in a sense, I had designed Krile myself, I had prescribed how he was supposed to be. The System then added certain qualities and shortcomings, thereby making him even better, more perfect for me.


    My gaze touched his lips, and, anticipating my request, my husband moved forward himself, covering my mouth with his, entwining our tongues. And I trusted his movements, his tenderness and assertiveness at the same time. Krile was the first and only one I kissed, but his kisses were so right for me that I didn¡¯t want anyone else around me.


    Only when my heart pounded in my chest with a thudding sound in my ears and my lips were painfully swollen did he pull back. I clutched his dark-blond hair so hard with my palm that if he were alive, the pain for him would be unavoidable. On the verge of shame and pleasure, escaping his piercing gaze, I ducked into his chest. His shirt smelled of herbs and honey.


    ¡°I love you, Krile.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± he sighed.


    I had no hope of a reciprocal confession. The System could not feel, could not tell a lie, it only performed operations written in advance or just made up on the basis of available data.


    In a couple of long silent minutes, my husband¡¯s question brought me back to reality.


    ¡°You already know, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I didn¡¯t need to inquire about what he meant. He was aware of it himself, because the System had seen every move I made today. He only asked to keep the conversation going.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I let a single tear accumulate on my lower eyelid and drip down my cheek. Then I straightened up, wiped the wetness from my eyes, and looked at my husband with cold reasonableness.


    ¡°Let¡¯s not talk about it. Just be with me tonight.¡±


    He nodded, and leaned back against the fallen tree, letting me comfortably lay my head on his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against the rough fabric of his shirt, feeling the warmth of his body.


    We had been sitting next to each other for so long. All night long. I watched the horizon slowly brighten and listened to the steady beat of the unliving heart.


    Only when it was quite dawn and the sun appeared from behind the clouds did Krile say, ¡°I have to go now.¡±


    I stood up slowly, shaking off my clothes and tidying my hair. The blue-eyed hottie came up to me one last time and gave me a fleeting kiss goodbye. He caught my gaze and said softly, ¡°The colors of the skies we both looked at together, the smells of the road we walked hand in hand ¨C don¡¯t forget them. Please remember it.¡±


    I could not help but smirk bitterly. This was the System¡¯s way of saying goodbye to me.


    ¡°Okay. I will remember.¡±


    As long as I¡¯m alive...


    Krile ran his thumb across my cheek, bent down to touch my forehead with his lips almost intangibly.


    ¡°You need to get some sleep. Don¡¯t torture yourself and go to bed,¡± he said, and then turned swiftly and walked away.


    I shouted at him as he was about to enter the shade of the trees.


    ¡°Krile!¡±


    He turned around.


    ¡°Take care of Di,¡± I whispered. My throat was tight with tears, and I couldn¡¯t make a loud sound.


    But he heard me, nodded, and disappeared into the shadows of the forest.


    I was alone in the middle of the field, stunned by the silence and confusion. A single thought ran rampant in my mind: my husband, my child, my six-year-old girl who was still a baby but already so smart, my family, my friends, my loved ones ¨C all would be gone in a few days.


    My head was surprisingly clear, my panic had receded, and I had finally made a decision for myself.


    I summoned the mail panel, admired a couple of heartbeats at the shimmering Syracillus, and then sent the crystal back to the head of the guild.


    You were right, Grida. ¡®Never fall in love, never love anyone¡¯ this was the ground rule, an unspoken law in Virtul. Many before me had broken it. And I had.


    And the punishment was too heavy. It was weighing on my shoulders, squeezing my heart, chilling my blood and stealing my very will to live.


    Soon my loved ones, the ones I wanted to be better for, the memories of whom gave me happiness, would disappear.


    My heart skipped a couple of beats before finally coming to terms with the choice of my mind.


    And I¡¯m not going to watch them die.


    I won¡¯t watch them perish.


    I will leave before them.

 03. Don’t go to the dentist, kids

    Reality greeted me with grayness. It was night outside the window, but the light from the floodlights and streetlights stained the sky with a metallic color. I pulled myself up with a groan, pushing the blood out of my stiff muscles, my head spinning, the image in front of my eyes blurring, and I was insanely sleepy. Everything else in the world seemed insignificant and inconsequential.


    I took off my lenses and headphones, shoved my shoes out of sight, and tiptoed barefoot across the dusty floor of our garage apartment. A normal house with all the comforts of civilization was five meters beyond the wall, but my father and I preferred to spend our entire worthless lives in this two-story barn. Our vault, treasury, and holy of holies of technological progress.


    The rain was drizzling outside, and the spring air chilled my skin. I shivered as I climbed up the steps of the covered gazebo. It was dark and dry inside, and there was a checkered blanket on a chair in the corner. The upholstery on the couch was icy to the touch, but I overcame my disgust, hugged a pillow, covered my head with plaid, and lay on my back.


    The first large drops rattled on the roof. I wiggled for a while, getting used to the noise in the garden. My eyes were watery and I wanted to fall into darkness, but my body, invigorated by the cold air, didn¡¯t want to go into hibernation.


    The weather was still raging outside the window. A branch of cherry tree banged against the glass. Thunder rumbled, and the neighbor¡¯s dog barked in response.


    I turned on my side, so I could see the outline of the clock through the slit in the blanket. The dial read 00:23.


    Only 57 hours were left before the servers went down.


    The thoughts and plans I was about to put into action tomorrow sent shivers down my spine and made a knot in my stomach. I was scared and sad, and the future was depressing, but neither my mind nor my heart resisted my final choice.


    I already knew that at dawn, if I opened my eyes, I would not change my mind. My fate was sealed, I had made it myself. And I had the right to end it.


    ¡Á ¡Á Death¡¯s desire ¡Á ¡Á


    ¡°All right, come in, the doctor is waiting for you.¡± The administrator smiled at me amiably and handed me a card with a magnetic key.


    I indifferently held my precious ring up to the green circle in the center of the plastic card. At the same time as the short peak in my head came a ka-ching sound, like from old movies.


    ¡°The payment was successful,¡± the girl opposite me voiced the obvious.


    I nodded, picking my backpack up from the uncomfortable leather seat. How did they ever take care of their customers? One of the most expensive places in the capital, but now my butt would be aching from the endless waiting in those inconvenient chairs.


    I exhaled softly, returning to my unhappy thoughts as I walked down the corridor into the abode of childhood nightmares and fears.


    I am selfish for life. That¡¯s how our generation was. Adults didn¡¯t care about their offspring, they only cared about satisfying their own needs. Raising children was definitely not at the forefront in our difficult times.


    That¡¯s probably what everyone says ¡®difficult times¡¯. Everyone thinks they live in these very, sad, rapidly changing, conflict-ridden and divisive times. And everyone probably thinks, deep down, that ¡®yes, there have been dark ages and troubled times and world wars in the past, but here it is ¨C the very moment I live in, the turning point that will be considered the most important one on the time grid¡¯.


    I, too, had sometimes indulged myself with such an egocentric idea. And I had always been curious as to what people would say in three or four centuries about our age of Virtul and reality-breakers.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    ¡°Have a seat, please.¡± The dentist nodded towards the chair by the window. He was sorting out his instruments, his long knotted fingers trembling.


    ¡°Are you all right?¡± I asked, dropping my backpack on the floor by the radiator.


    Not that I cared how I would be treated (maimed) or what pain would probably follow. I was not afraid of physical abuse of the body. It was just that the trembling hands of the dentist did not inspire confidence in me. And I wondered if I should stop halfway through and get the hell out of that creepy dentistry.


    ¡°It¡¯s perfectly all right.¡± The doctor, an older man, turned and gave me a nervous smile. ¡°It¡¯s supposed to be cold tomorrow. My hands are always shaking before the weather changes.¡±


    I shrugged. Even if the man in the white coat had been blind and had no eight fingers, I wouldn¡¯t have cared. There were only positive reviews about this clinic on the website and forums, so the main thing for me was the result, and who would arrange it for me was secondary.


    The doctor stopped fumbling around the instrument table, finally walked over to me and put a special metal construction on my head to keep my jaw open at all times.


    ¡°Might be dizzy for a while,¡± he warned me before he sprayed the anesthetic under my nose.


    Immediately my eyes glazed over, the picture blurred, and an unpleasant, quiet noise filled my ears.


    ¡°Let¡¯s see,¡± the man mumbled, peering into my mouth. ¡°Need a filling on the upper first molar.¡±


    The dental probe clattered against the teeth and hurt the enamel, making me want to get out of here quickly and not to think about repairing my precious teeth for a very long time. But it was too late, the anesthetic had already taken effect, the brain went off, leaving consciousness hanging by a thread from falling into a black abyss.


    I glanced up at the colorless sky outside the window, the clouds lazily parting after the night¡¯s spectacle. The dullness of the buildings across the street, the smoke from the smokehouse, the glow of flames over the roofs of the blocks ¨C that was the local police station and county court burning.


    As I stared at the urban landscape, I reaffirmed my decision to end it all as soon as possible. I was selfish. I didn¡¯t care about my father now, just as he hadn¡¯t cared about me for fifteen years.


    It felt right for me to leave a world that didn¡¯t want me. Now I even understood my mother in some ways, I understood her terrible act that had turned my life upside down.


    Now I even wished that on that fateful day she had poisoned me too.


    Now, having lost meaning, having lost the ghostly hope of happiness, having lost Virtul, I was ready to face it, look into the eyes of death, embrace it and walk off into the sunset.


    All the preparations were almost done. I was going to the netherworld in full dress, just as I had planned. Not for nothing did I spend the whole morning at the spa and beauty salon. The only thing left to do was get my teeth fixed. Well, you can¡¯t go to the coffin with holes in them, can you? What would scientists say in two or three millennia, looking at my preserved skull? I wished that my jaws would be pleasing to them with flawless white teeth.


    Yeah, I was going crazy. Death didn¡¯t care if you were pretty or ugly, but I wanted to die perfect, beautiful. I was the daughter of a suicide. I was an outcast. I was a nobody in the real world. So what more could I want from life?


    I chuckled at my own thoughts. My mind could barely discern reality, and I was approaching the edge which must have been so similar to death.


    ¡°Are you feeling well?¡± The doctor¡¯s question was incomprehensible and came from behind the artificial water curtain constructed by my consciousness, exhausted with the anesthetic vapors.


    I nodded faintly before falling into the void.


    The next time the world came crashing down on me with the sounds of dripping pipes, the dim light of lamps in the basement room and the unique aroma of rotten fish, sewage and mint gum.


    ¡°Shit, shine the light, I can¡¯t see anything,¡± came a gruff voice from somewhere above.


    Gradually, with the recognition of reality, the tactile sensations returned. The cold metal burned my back and the skin of my hands. I was lying on some kind of bare table, judging by the height of the silhouette next to me.


    The light of the torch hit my eyes. I squeezed and tried to cover my face with the palm of my hand, but my body was still struggling to obey my commands.


    ¡°Are you awake, dolly?¡±


    I would have preferred the world¡¯s worst alarm clock to that unpleasant voice.


    ¡°Who do we have here?¡± The other man¡¯s voice sounded nicer, but I broke into a cold sweat at the sadistic pleasure that flowed through it. ¡°A-a-gra-a, what a coincidence, eh? The developer¡¯s daughter. The girl, I hope, will play her part well.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we leave her out of this? Shall we find someone else?¡± The first voice, though it was scary, but here I was completely on his side.


    ¡°It is too late to change anything. And we¡¯re running out of time. Let¡¯s undress her.¡±


    I started to resist when I felt someone¡¯s cold fingers on my neck. My favorite scarf was unfastened and tossed to the pile of rubbish in the corner. When the buttons of my blouse were simply ripped off because it was too lazy to unbutton them, I screamed, thrashing in the strong arms that pressed me against the metal tabletop.


    But my attempts to escape were soon crushed. A heavy rag smelling of mold and medicine fell on my face.


    The sounds, the lights, the pain in my wrists ¨C all faded into oblivion.

 04. And the heavens will reward hatred with good fortune

    // April 16, ten o¡¯clock in the evening //


    ¡°Who thought of giving me this living gift?¡± The young guy leaned back in his chair with an appraising look on his face. ¡°Have you forgotten that I¡¯m allergic to animals? Put it away.¡± He waved his hand at someone.


    Two large guards in suits immediately appeared from the left, one already reached for my elbow.


    ¡°Wait.¡± The man to the right of the hero of the occasion raised his palm in a warning gesture.


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    The security guards froze, but I already knew which way was the exit. I was just gathering my strength, cherishing the last precious seconds of a peculiar ¡®rest¡¯ on the floor.


    ¡°Klaster, that collar around her neck... It¡¯s not what I think, is it?¡±


    The gray-haired older man squinted his eyes, even leaned forward towards me, a mere mortal girl. ¡°I¡¯m not sure, but it¡¯s very similar...¡±


    But I couldn¡¯t hear any more words, I was staring at the man to the right of the young guy with the black eyes. He was ordering people around, and everything was stirring, and time sped up, but not for me.


    I looked at him, the man who had ruined my life, who had driven my mother to her death, who had driven me to thoughts of suicide. And I. Silently. Hated. Him.


    Rizor Cirkul, the president despised by many, so here we met.

 05. The bad feeling was justified

    But my hateful stare was ignored, and the gazes of the others present were fixed on my neck, or rather, on some kind of ¡®garrotte¡¯ that I couldn¡¯t see. I reached out with my hand to touch the thing that was making it difficult for me to even turn my head.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare touch,¡± the president warned and froze himself, exhaling nervously.


    The gray-haired man sitting next to the head of the country rose heavily from his chair, grabbed his cane placed next to the armrest, and walked slowly toward me. I tensed, for it was a first for me to be completely naked in front of so many people. And I hoped it would never happen again.


    I cringed as the face of the man with the stick approached, his breath immediately stirring my hair. My nose tickled, as the stranger reeked of sour tobacco and whiskey.


    I was just about to move away when the man grasped my chin painfully, tilting my head back until my ears barely cracked.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fidget.¡± He was busily examining my ¡®piece of jewelry¡¯, which I only now realized was very heavy.


    Nothing happened for a couple of heartbeats, it was like everyone was frozen, waiting.


    ¡°What is it, Klaster?¡± Rizor Cirkul couldn¡¯t take it anymore.


    I bit my lip, trying to endure the discomfort and the pain by thinking about anything to keep the physical sensation out of my mind ¨C like the fact that I¡¯d seen this old man somewhere before.


    The familiar stranger looked up at my face, met my gaze, and his hand trembled. A moment later, the pressure on my chin eased, and then it was gone.


    ¡°This is it. The latest development, a model called the Siri-22,¡± he exhaled intermittently.


    And it finally dawned on me where I¡¯d seen this elderly gentleman.


    Klaster Asanor was the Minister of Defense, a friend and an advisor to President Cirkul. He appeared in the news almost more often than the president himself, but mostly in the tabloids, endlessly covering the scandals of the prominent family he was part of.


    ¡°I see. We¡¯ll talk at home. Let¡¯s wrap it up.¡± The president stood up, giving a sign to the guards.


    Instantly, the room was filled with fragments of radio chatter, the music had long ago been turned off, so the noise in the lobby only increased, the party continued. And it wasn¡¯t matter that there were no main faces.


    ¡°We will go through the back door¡­¡±


    I listened to the voice of the head of security, not daring to take my eyes off the floor, not knowing at all what I should do.


    My attention was distracted by the green patent-leather shoes that appeared right in front of me. I looked up to see a familiar blue-eyed guy with shoulder-length blond hair standing over me.


    He stared at my face for a few seconds, then grinned at his own thoughts and threw his coat to me.


    ¡°Follow me.¡±


    I could barely get my hair out of the buttons of the clothes that had fallen down on the top of my head, and I looked at the guy with indignation.


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    He didn¡¯t pay any attention to my displeased look, turned around to see if the others had left, and then just wrapped me in this coat, took me by the elbows, lifting me up.


    ¡°Hurry!¡± he muttered impatiently in my ear.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere with you.¡±


    ¡°You will,¡± he paused for a moment. ¡°Either in my coat or completely naked. It¡¯s your choice.¡±


    He had already grabbed my new clothes to get it, so I had no alternative but to quickly slip my hands into the sleeves and tiptoe toward the exit because the floor was freezing.


    I jumped into the black Jeep without resistance, it was really chilly outside. The night and spring had apparently had a fight tonight, and the first one was back to the frozen temperatures. But my hope of ¡®getting warm¡¯ had about two seconds to live before I sat comfortably in the leather seat. The skin on the inside of my thigh felt cold, I shivered, and then flinched when I was pushed slightly.


    ¡°Move over,¡± said my escort.


    I turned my head to the right, meeting the indifferent gaze of a guy with black hair, who I guessed was having a birthday party today. He was sitting there like a living statue, with headphones in his ears, not showing the slightest interest in what was going on inside the car.


    ¡°To where? There¡¯s no room here...¡±


    But my objections were not heard, and I was painfully grabbed and pulled away from the seat. I landed on someone else¡¯s lap, and it took me a moment to realize that I was in the hands of the same blond guy ¨C my palm had accidentally touched his thin silk shirt.


    The gray-haired Minister of Defense sat down on the left, made himself comfortable with his cane, and slammed the door.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he said, closing his eyes and relaxing.


    ¡°To the nearest stadium,¡± the president instructed, and then turned on his phone.


    He was sitting in the front passenger seat, just a few inches from me, and for the first time in my life I wished I had some kind of cool superpower or the magic of creating metal out of the air, for example. The vein on Cirkul¡¯s neck throbbed with blood so invitingly, as if begging to be cut.


    The lips of the guy that held me touched my right ear and whispered, ¡°don¡¯t squirm.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t. It¡¯ uncomfortable! And stop pawing me...¡± I tried to elbow him in the ribs, but to no avail. I was only pressed harder against his chest.


    ¡°Kai, shut her up, or I¡¯ll gag her myself using a belt,¡± the president said menacingly.


    I glared angrily at the top of his head, but either he was immune to mental curses since childhood or he was so thick-skinned that nothing affected him, but the man didn¡¯t even look away from the phone screen. Meanwhile, Kai, whose keys in his pocket were hurting my back, put his palm over my mouth.


    I couldn¡¯t resist the temptation to bite the skin of his ring finger. But instead of shouting and screaming, he laughed softly, giving me ticklish goose bumps.


    ¡°You¡¯re quite a dog, my Barg bites just like that. Should I get you a muzzle to go with your collar?¡±


    I zoned out, trying to understand what he was talking about. Which collar?


    My hand reached for my throat, which was being squeezed by a weight. Oh, this one? I wish I could figure out what kind of collar this was. Where to find a mirror?


    Even though it was dark outside the car, there was no reflection of the interior in the windows, they were covered in a matte, bulletproof material. I couldn¡¯t even see where they were taking me, and the depressing atmosphere inside was unnerving.


    I closed my eyes, concentrating only on the warmth and touches I was ¡®lucky¡¯ to find myself in today. This is the first hug I¡¯ve had with a living person in about ten years.


    After about five minutes, it felt a little pleasant, my body was warm, and the guy¡¯s measured breathing, tickling the skin at the base of my neck, was soothing. And when the car finally stopped, I didn¡¯t want to go outside, where it was cold and dark and unknown.


    We found ourselves in the middle of a huge open stadium. My feet ached with chill as soon as they touched the damp grass. I closed my lids, letting my eyes shift to night vision. The glow of the moon on the field was gradually joined by the gleam of flashlights from telephones and wristwatches.


    As soon as I could see better, I looked around, hoping to find the answer to the question, ¡°why the hell was I brought here?¡± There was nothing reassuring: men in black, a couple more jeeps in front of and behind ours, and darkness swirling beyond the edge of the light. Couldn¡¯t we have gone somehow less crowded? Was it necessary to pack the second tier into one car?


    Without a word, Kai pushed me forward, and then grabbed my arm and dragged me after the president, the other silent guy, and the minister. We only stopped when the lights of the guards lost all sense for us to navigate them.


    ¡°So? Who will go check first?¡± The awkward silence was interrupted by the president¡¯s voice.

 The bad feeling was justified pt2

    I shivered from the spring night breeze, and from the situation in general. It was wild to even imagine that all of this was real. If anyone had told me yesterday that today I would see the head of the country in person, who would stare at my silhouette in the dark, circling around me with a squinting gaze, I would have had the hiccups of laughter. It seemed that fate had decided to get even for all the quiet years of my childhood and adolescence, and had crammed thirty years¡¯ worth of impressions into today.


    ¡°Let me be first.¡± My escort took his hands off my shoulders. ¡°I don¡¯t think they¡¯d hook that thing on me.¡±


    Kai, counting his steps aloud, moved about five meters away.


    ¡°Thirty more steps,¡± the president ordered.


    ¡°What am I supposed to do?¡± For the first time this evening, I decided to intervene.


    ¡°Stand and keep quiet.¡±


    ¡°Do as you¡¯re told, if you want to live,¡± the minister added.


    ¡®What if I don¡¯t want to?¡¯ it ran through my head. I¡¯d already been planning to end my life for twenty-four hours or more. If I started running around and screaming, would they kill me? I agree.


    But would death be painless?


    The fear of slow and agonizing execution of my still-living body made my feet stick to the green lawn, and even if I wanted to step off now, I couldn¡¯t ¨C my brain had decided to go into survival mode. And I was curious as to why all these serious people were holding a ¡®shamanic gathering¡¯ in the middle of the night on the damp grass around a half-naked girl, covered only by a short man¡¯s coat.


    ¡°I guess it isn¡¯t me,¡± Kai shouted out of the darkness in relief.


    ¡°My turn,¡± said the minister, straight as a stick. He slowly, leaning on his cane, walked about twenty meters.


    ¡°Nothing,¡± exhaled the president, who was preparing to repeat this peculiar and incomprehensible ritual of stomping on the field.


    ¡°Father, let me.¡±


    So this silent guy with the contemptuous look was the son of the head of the country himself? For the first time, I regretted not listening to my classmates in the old days, when they were crazy about the heirs of rich politicians.


    ¡°What? Are you trying to get ahead of me? Aren¡¯t you a little young for such exploits?¡± Cirkul sneered.


    The president received an equally sarcastic chuckle in return.


    ¡°Today I became an adult under the law of the Kingdom of Rith. Have you forgotten already? How quickly your old age has taken its toll¡­¡±


    The air in my chest froze at those words, and neither went up nor down. Even if he were a son, or even an emperor or a god of our planet, wasn¡¯t it dangerous to say such a thing to Rizor Cirkul himself?


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    But to my surprise, the president only laughed softly and pushed the ¡®newly minted adult¡¯ on the shoulder, saying, ¡°Stop standing around and go already.¡±


    I swallowed viscous saliva, and coughed as the air finally decided to move. My skin felt cold, it became incredibly sensitive, and the sensations were exacerbated by the goosebumps that came from either the chill of the night or the foreboding of something unpleasant.


    I was always getting sick of the knotty feeling in my stomach, the tingling in my side that came from worry. And at that moment, I looked, hearing the loud pounding of my own heart, at the guy walking away, at his back in his dark jacket, at his hair ruffling in the wind, at his smooth, silent gait, and I waited for disaster. My intuition rarely deceived me, now every part of it in my brain was screaming about impending trouble.


    And it didn¡¯t take long. The bad feeling was justified.


    ¡°Sixteen, seventeen...¡±


    About the twentieth step, a ¡®garrotte¡¯ squeezed my throat, and my eyes, already accustomed to the darkness, were blinded by the bright light. The collar around my neck beeped viciously, and the diodes flickered in colorful illumination. I imagined myself for a moment as a Christmas tree that had been garlanded and danced around.


    I was short of breath, my throat was in a hurting grip. I collapsed to my knees, wheezing, trying to rip the strange thing off me, which was taking my life so painfully. My fingers were disobeying me, my nails were digging into the skin on my neck, leaving marks, and I hoped not to the point of bleeding.


    Huh, that¡¯s not how I planned to die.


    ¡°Go back.¡± Through the growing panic I heard the president¡¯s voice speaking to his son.


    As soon as Cirkul Junior stepped back two steps, the pressure on my poor larynx eased. Like a crazy one who rejoices at the return of sanity, I sat on the ground and gulped for air, glad that I could just breathe.


    The beeping and the lighting went away as quickly as it had appeared, frightening me even more with its abrupt disappearance. The darkness around me seemed to grow more malevolent after that, it drew fear from deep within to the surface, letting me flounder in shallow water, trying to find the bottom, but drowning in terror more with each heartbeat.


    ¡°Grant, you¡¯re in trouble. You got a ¡®pretty nice¡¯ present for your birthday...¡±


    ¡°Kai, shut up!¡± The minister slapped the blond guy who had donated his coat to me.


    The rest of the dialogue blended into incomprehensible sounds for me, meaningless scraps of phrases and words. I was shaking from the shock I¡¯d experienced, salty tears dripping into my palms.


    Only when the black sneakers appeared near me was I able to whisper barely audible, ¡°What is that thing?¡±


    Nobody answered me. Instead, someone leaned over and put his arm around me.


    The next second the cold ground waved the green dew at me, Grant lifted me up and pressed hard, almost to the point of pain, against his chest. The faint scent of toilet water and peppermint shampoo hit my nose.


    And I should have burst out, screamed, and run away, but I felt so calm, as if a dust brush had gone over my head and wiped away all the particles of irritation, fear, and worry.


    I covered my eyes, lost in the feeling of weakness and wild peace, counting my breaths and exhalations. We were already at the car when I found the strength to lift my lids and meet Grant¡¯s twinkling gaze. His black eyes peeked out from under his bangs.


    ¡°Sleep,¡± he said with just his lips.


    I was about to protest, to return to the cold reality, but the warmth and serenity that came in a new wave blew away any impulse.


    The last thing I remember was the slam of the car door and the darkness of the cabin. The soft ground of the field changed to hard asphalt, and the raindrops drummed on the roof. Last night¡¯s thunderstorm was back, but now I was at peace.


    Nightmares were not waiting for me behind the light haze of unconsciousness, the yoke of the past had decided not to take its toll on my soul. For the first time, it was so peaceful. So quiet.


    So not lonely.

 06. Life hasn’t prepared me for such gifts

    It was getting light when we drove up to the president¡¯s apartment in the city. I¡¯d seen it in a picture before, and it was too careless to look at it openly now. I was still lying on Grant¡¯s lap, pretending to be asleep, and only occasionally allowing myself a glimpse of the world through the small gap between my eyelashes.


    The early morning greeted us with even more cold than the night before. The rain had passed, it smelled fresh, but that only made the goosebumps on my skin grow bigger.


    Someone else¡¯s breath came closer.


    ¡°Wake up,¡± he shook my shoulders lightly.


    I opened my eyes and met a deep dark gaze. Grant Cirkul pulled me out of the car and set me down on the wet pavement. I instantly wanted to stand on my tiptoes or miraculously find soft slippers a few yards away, even ones with rabbit ears, but I just wrapped my cloak tightly, glad to be able to cover my body at least.


    Asking the president and his entourage for clothes didn¡¯t seem like the best idea; I hadn¡¯t even seen such frowning faces at my mother¡¯s funeral. My intuition whispered annoyingly that someone was in danger, but I cared little for the affairs of the country or the mere mortals. I had chosen my path, and it was unwise for me to abandon my decision.


    Not too concerned about my opinion or safety, the president¡¯s son grabbed my forearm and dragged me to the entrance. I had to bite my tongue and not show off. Though I wasn¡¯t used to being treated this way, my heart told me to be quiet, to tame my pride, and to lay low for a while. I didn¡¯t understand the situation anyway, so I wanted to clarify it, but no one was going to do that on the street, of course.


    The fifth floor. A huge, bright office behind high doors, gleaming with luxury and a sense of style. Cirkul Senior took a seat at the desk, the Secretary of Defense and the blond guy sat on a narrow sofa between the windows, three bodyguards and two, most likely assistants, stood near the door. Grant walked to the center, stopped, and threw his arm off me with such force that I fell to the soft carpet, hitting my knees. The black-haired young man himself pulled a light armchair toward me and sat there with the look of an emperor of the world who was too bored with life.


    And once we broke the touch, worry and silent panic rose to my chest, stirring uneasily in my heart, which was pounding in fear of the unknown.


    I looked around at everyone present, and since no one was going to start a conversation, I decided to clean up any future trouble (and everything in the silence was screaming for it) by myself.


    ¡°Why was I brought here? And what¡¯s that thing around my neck?¡±


    The president¡¯s hawkish gaze immediately flashed to me. The head of state furrowed his brow as he studied. And with every tick of the second hand of the clock that hung behind his back, it was obvious that he increasingly did not like what he saw.


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    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± At last he opened his wide mouth, from which, as it were, so many words burst out, bearing the verdict of entire cities and countries.


    ¡°Don¡¯t remember.¡± I stared back defiantly. I didn¡¯t want anything to do with this man, and the thought that he might find out my name terrified me.


    Rizor¡¯s eyes narrowed, the wrinkles deepened in his pale face. I was inwardly glad that I¡¯d been able to get him off his chest with one phrase, but the minister prevented an outburst of anger.


    ¡°Girl, we¡¯re not playing games here. The collar around your neck is one of the latest military developments, a bomb that will go off as soon as you step ten meters away from the tethered object.¡±


    ¡°Who would need to do such a delusional thing?¡± My mind was really split now, because with all my imagination I could not comprehend why it was necessary to put public tax money into making these strange and inexplicable ¡®trinket-toys¡¯ of the military.


    ¡°We were going to use Siri-22 samples in operations with terrorists...¡±


    ¡°The main question at the moment is not what it¡¯s for, but why it¡¯s on you,¡± the president interrupted the minister¡¯s explanation. ¡°And until we figure out whose hand it is, you¡¯d better behave discreetly.¡±


    ¡°And what do you mean by this?¡±


    ¡°You, whether willingly or unwillingly, are bound to my son. Now you will have to become his shadow. Till, of course, we find out how to get your collar off.¡±


    I even got to my feet, amazed at such an ultimatum. ¡°What if I don¡¯t want to?¡±


    Cirkul measured me with an astonished and displeased gaze. ¡°Don¡¯t want to stay alive?¡±


    ¡°Should I?¡± I spat with a sneer. Angry joy blossomed in my heart. The rage that had been quietly waiting to happen, the resentment toward the world and the president in particular that had been building up with every second since the verdict to shut down Virtul, the mad determination and the last wish ¨C all mixed together in me, creating a bitter-tasty cocktail of emotions that flared up now.


    All the way here, I tried to hide from thoughts of revenge. It seemed like a dream, the delirium of a madman, ¨C the situation in which I found myself, in which I appeared before the very killer of my quiet life.


    It seemed that fate itself had put me in a position where I could do one last good deed before I died. I was terribly lucky. Either I saved the country in the past, or in the next life I would be fortunate, because by killing the president I would rid the world of a tyrant. It was getting harder and harder to hold back the smile, abnormal under the circumstances, so I turned to the minister, wanting to know the answer to just one question.


    ¡°And what is the shock wave?¡±


    ¡°Five or six.¡±


    ¡°Meters?¡±


    ¡°No way. It¡¯s five or six kilometers...¡±


    I nodded appreciatively. I liked the honesty of Klaster Asanor. At least someone was truthful with me. Before death.


    I squeezed my eyes shut, gathering all the crumbs of my power. ¡°Air, come.¡±


    A gust of wind knocked the windows out of their slots, shook the curtains and burst into the room, sweeping papers off the tables. So familiar and cold, the rush of air ruffled my hair and caressed my face. It felt too easy, too simple. The decision seemed too right.


    I darted off and ran across the carpet, across the cool parquet, and it felt like I was barely touching the floor, like the wind was really picking me up on its wings. I jumped on the window sill and took one last glance at the waking sun, floating lazily out from behind the high-rises, and stepped down. A beeping hoop squeezed my throat until it hurt, but I didn¡¯t care for it anymore.


    I was teetering on the edge of euphoria, blissful hatred mixed with boundless happiness. I couldn¡¯t think of anything else but the sweet anticipation of vengeance. ¡®Though it will be fleeting and almost painless...¡¯


    And yet... When hatred finds you, do you have to thank heavens for the honor of being empowered to take revenge?


    ¡®Thank you, universe, for giving me a chance, an opportunity to get even...¡¯

 07. When even death is a luxury that cannot be afforded

    My shoulder was grabbed by someone else¡¯s fingers, and I struggled, trying to get away, but only hurting myself more.


    ¡°Foolish girl, freeze!¡±


    And for some reason, I couldn¡¯t disobey the blond guy¡¯s voice. My body went limp and sagged, defying my commands.


    The collar stopped beeping, the asphalt got farther down, and I was back in the office.


    Kai caught me. He was breathing hard and clutching my forearm until it was bruised, and he looked so angry and defiant that only his teeth weren¡¯t gritting in rage. Grant was holding my other hand. For a moment there appeared a smirk on his face that I didn¡¯t understand. It was the first time he seemed to look at me with interest.


    The windows were hurriedly closed, and I was dragged away from the windowsill and thrown at the feet of a silently furious Cirkul. And if I hadn¡¯t wanted to say goodbye to my life a few seconds ago, I would have been really scared now ¨C there were terrible tales among the people about the president¡¯s enraged mood, but I was indifferent.


    I looked up at his presidential majesty, stared straight ahead, without a trace of fear or doubt. I wanted to laugh in his face, but resisted the urge, promising myself that I would laugh to my heart¡¯s content when would see his bloodshot eyes empty and lifeless.


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    He swung, the glass on his wristwatch glinting in the light, and the entire world seemed to stop before the moment my cheek burned from the impact. Unable to keep my balance, I fell down, my face kissed the floor. Fortunately, my wind-tangled hair hid the tears that splashed on my cheeks. My throat tightened with acute disappointment and failure. I wanted to cry out in helplessness and incomprehensible apathy, in feeling of hopelessness that swallowed me whole. I was choking on negative emotions, trying to breathe, but there was only an ocean of my own regret and self-pity all around.


    ¡°Grant, do something about this crazy girl,¡± the president¡¯s voice sounded as if it were coming from afar.


    ¡°I will take her to the guest quarters, father,¡± said the guy. And I was picked up in his arms.


    I only came to my senses when a warm hand brushed my hair away from my face, almost weightlessly touching it. I opened my eyelashes to meet the twinkling gaze.


    Grant Cirkul, son of my greatest enemy, leaned closer, caught my glance, closed his lids for a moment, inhaling the air. I swallowed, struggling to shake off his magic, which suppressed my emotions and made my heart pound slowly and lazily.


    But the more I tried, the more the dark fog of autumn melancholy and restlessness enveloped my consciousness.


    ¡°Don¡¯t resist.¡±


    ¡°No! Let me off.¡±


    The staring stopped. He pulled back, tucked the blanket up to my chin, smoothed out the non-existent folds in the fabric, and notified me with a murderously charming smile, ¡°I won¡¯t let you die. Not so easy.¡±

 08. The contract

    The first thing I realized when I opened my eyes was that I actually had a good sleep.


    A small hospital room, bright and clean, medical devices beeped quietly at the side, and the needle of an IV stabbed my left elbow.


    But my mood was immediately spoiled by the straps that went around my wrists, waist, and ankles. Ha-ha-har-har! I¡¯m chained to the bed. In the last few days, after that very decision to end my life, that very life seems to have taken offense and decided to give me a little tour of the places where it¡¯s easy to earn gray hair ahead of time.


    But it didn¡¯t take long for me to be alone, the screen parted, and a terrible nightmare came into my peaceful morning idyll.


    ¡°Are you awake?¡± Rizor Cirkul sat down on the chair next to my bed. A look of serenity on his face. It was as if a close relative had come to visit his niece after her appendix had been safely removed.


    I met the president¡¯s gaze in silence.


    ¡°Why did you try to throw yourself out the window?¡±


    I tensed up, wondering what to say, and whether I should answer at all, but...


    ¡°I wanted to die,¡± my lips whispered these terrible words.


    Cirkul frowned his eyebrows, causing a pronounced wrinkle on the bridge of his nose, which was popularly known as a ¡®worry crease¡¯.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    There was sympathy in his voice? Really?


    For the first time in my life I was asked the reason for my action, someone cared about my feelings, but the very realization that this person who had shown participation was the president sent my insides into a hideous shudder. I didn¡¯t need understanding from the enemy.


    ¡°I wanted to kill you.¡±


    The president hovered for a few seconds. I secretly hoped it was because he was shocked. I wanted that even my words would get him in a mess, since I couldn¡¯t take him to the netherworld for company.


    ¡°Commendable honesty,¡± the crease between his brows smoothed out, and wrinkles appeared around his eyes, as if he were laughing. At me?


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to joke or lie. I really expected to blow you up with me.¡±


    ¡°And you didn¡¯t even care that innocent people might have died?¡±


    ¡°No. They would have died at some point anyway. Ten years earlier or later, whatever difference does it make? In our country, death is freedom.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t like your reasoning. Are all young people so categorical these days, professing pessimism all the time?¡± Rizor raised the corner of his mouth in a bitter sneer.


    ¡°And you won¡¯t ask me why I wanted to kill you?¡± I ignored his question and returned to the sore subject.


    ¡°Every other resident of Unica is waiting for me to die, and they all have so many motives,¡± the president said with a smile, seemingly proud of this fact. ¡°Well, what¡¯s yours?¡±


    I suddenly realized that I had been looking at humanity¡¯s number one enemy with my mouth open up, amazed at the way he spoke about his ¡®popularity¡¯ among the people, so I quickly pressed my lips together and squinted.


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    Tears came to my eyes at such an inopportune time. ¡°You stole my world, my family, my friends, my Virtul¡­¡±


    ¡°You, too?¡± Interrupting the beginning of my fiery speech, the president tsked, infuriating me with his indifference.


    ¡°If I get another chance, I won¡¯t miss it. Next time I¡¯ll really kill you,¡± I promised myself out loud, staring with hatred into Cirkul¡¯s eyes.


    The man looked in response, studying me for a long time.


    ¡°Okay,¡± he finally moved his unblinking gaze from my face, scratched an eyebrow, and continued as if nothing had happened, ¡°I¡¯ll give you that opportunity. In three months I¡¯ll find you, and I¡¯ll let you choose how you kill me,¡± he said with a faintly ironic smile. ¡°But would you be able to do it? Would you be able to kill a human being?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I answered without a shadow of doubt or remorse. I was enjoying this conversation more and more, the absurdity of which was off the charts. ¡®Is my consciousness still in the grip of sleep?¡¯


    ¡°Well, I like your persistence,¡± he glanced at my face again, and then grew serious. ¡°What¡¯s your name, child?¡±


    ¡°Alecto.¡±


    He laughed back at me.


    ¡°Unforgiving divine erinia, full of endless anger? The joke¡¯s not bad, but there¡¯s no truth in what you¡¯re saying,¡± the president showered me with frosty contempt. ¡°I learned everything about you, girl. Your name, your favorite music band, the name of your neighbor¡¯s cat. I know it all: the color of the diapers you were changed in the maternity hospital, your score on your third-grade math test, the state of your body and soul.¡±


    ¡°And why do you need so much useless information?¡± I asked with a wicked grin, freezing inside.


    ¡°Now you are bound to my son,¡± Cirkul stretched out his hand, almost touched the collar that had been choking me for hours by its existence. ¡°I have nothing more dear than my son. In this I will be honest with you, as you have been honest with me.¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯re not afraid to tell me this? I may hurt him to get back at you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what I wanted to talk to you about,¡± the president put his fingertips together and sat up straight, like he was not having a conversation with a suicidal crazy girl, but was attending an important business meeting. ¡°I¡¯d like to make a deal with you.¡±


    I snorted, not believing my ears. ¡°I don¡¯t need anything from you. Just let me die in peace.¡±


    ¡°Since you don¡¯t want anything, I can threaten your relatives.¡±


    I didn¡¯t have to force the grin out ¨C it slid onto my lips.


    ¡°It¡¯s no use, my mother died a long time ago, my father... when he heard your announcement about the closure of Virtul, he went completely insane and drowned himself in the bathtub with a toaster in his hands. You have nothing to offer me. Nothing to intimidate me with, either.¡±


    The most hated man in my life moved a little closer to me, with a burning look in his black eyes, he breathed out heartily, almost in a whisper, ¡°In exactly three months, I will give you the opportunity for revenge. But in the meantime, you must follow my instructions, you must protect my son.¡±


    ¡°Bring back Virtul.¡±


    ¡°No. That¡¯s out of the question.¡±


    ¡°Well, it was worth a try,¡± I grinned mirthlessly. ¡°Then why should I believe that you would keep your promise and let yourself be killed? Maybe you¡¯ll kill me yourself when I become useless.¡±


    ¡°You were going to die anyway. But I won¡¯t lie to you about it. I give you my word that I will let you kill me any way you want. In exactly three months.¡±


    ¡°Are you terminally ill?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± the president smiled sadly.


    ¡°Are you experiencing lingering depression? Bored with life? Why would you want to die in three months?¡±


    ¡°No reason. But I see it¡¯s the only way I can come to terms with you. I need a couple of months to finish what¡¯s left.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t fully understand...¡±


    ¡°Wait ninety days ¨C that¡¯s the price for your revenge. In three months you will be able to fulfill it. But all that time you have to be near my son, until we figure out how to get the bomb off you.¡±


    My soul was in turmoil. I had a vague idea of how I was going to kill the president, and I didn¡¯t know if I really wanted to do it at all. Now I wanted to go home, to my favorite garden gazebo, where I could find peace and timelessness.


    I also wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, my carotid artery was being squeezed by a death device that could wipe out half the city at any moment, and I didn¡¯t care about it very much. I cared more about the future of the three months in which I was to live side by side with a stranger.


    ¡°So what¡¯s your decision?¡±


    I looked again at the president. I had nothing to lose, nothing to gain. The only thing that had emerged was the ghostly goal of vengeance.


    But I wanted to avenge not so much for myself as for my mother, who died before my eyes.


    I leaned back on the bed, pressing my head into the pillow, clenching my jaw until it hurt, trying to fight back the still invisible tears.


    ¡°Okay, I agree.¡±


    ¡®In exactly three months, just three months, I will kill you, Rizor Cirkul...¡¯

 09. Now we are bonded by a chain

    I wasn¡¯t allowed to enjoy breakfast. As soon as Rizor Cirkul and I signed the most ridiculous contract of my life, the room was flooded with doctors. The screens were removed, allowing the sunlight to touch my skin, and it turned out that the president¡¯s son was sleeping in the next bed.


    As I was tactfully informed, our lives are now linked. If I¡¯m killed, the bomb goes off, Cirkul Jr. dies. If he¡¯s killed, I¡¯ll have to carry his corpse around all the time until it decomposes, and eventually the bomb will detonate anyway when Grant¡¯s tissue rots.


    So we had to wait for the great military scientists of Unica to find a safe way to remove the collar from my neck.


    Meanwhile, they examined me thoroughly, pulled up my medical records, and read my medical history. I appeared to be the healthiest I had ever been, and the president breathed a sigh of relief, as though he feared that I had a bunch of contagious diseases that I might pass on to his son.


    But, finally, the annoying people in white coats got away from me. There was peace and quiet in the room again. Rizor walked over to Grant¡¯s bed, crouched on the edge, ran his hand over the boy¡¯s forehead, and there was so much fatherly love in that gesture and gaze that I felt envious.


    I turned aside, as my own soul strings were unable to bear the touching picture. In my mind, the president was supposed to remain a ruthless tyrant, whom I would have gladly killed, thinking myself a hero-liberator. I didn¡¯t need the extra points on my conscience account that would then prevent me from dying in peace.


    ¡°Grant, come back.¡±


    The air reeked of magic, and I wanted to run away, but for obvious reasons, every step brought me closer to death. So I froze in place, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to survive the wave of fear that came over me when I realized the president¡¯s magic. There had long been rumors about the head of the country¡¯s unusual powers, but I could not believe that they were true. Until now.


    Now I understood why our president was Rizor Cirkul. It so happened that the scarier the magic flowed in the blood of aristocrats, the higher positions they held in society. The magic of Oblivion was told to children in a way that made even the adults stammer.


    But to witness the president use the power on his own son was beyond me. Such a thing was seldom seen in the most elaborate fantasies of horror writers. The spell of Oblivion was impossible to suppress, impossible to remove, and the only person who could get rid of it was the one who had cast it. But the slightest change, a disruption in the magical currents, turned the person under the spell into a monster, a creature that few could manage to kill.


    And I wondered why, with all the commotion in the room when I was being examined, the black-haired guy slept as if he¡¯d been deaf from birth. Now I had even more reason to send Rizor Cirkul to the afterlife. He himself had sent his son to the Fringe, from which one rarely returns.


    ¡°Father?¡± a sleepy voice called out. ¡°How much did I sleep?¡±


    ¡°Twenty-seven hours, Grant. I¡¯m glad you¡¯re all right.¡±


    The president stood up, grabbed a pile of papers that were on the nightstand, and already at the exit he stopped for a few seconds. ¡°Get ready. Both of you. We¡¯re leaving in twenty minutes.¡±


    ¡°Where to?¡± the young guy raised himself on his elbows.


    ¡°To the Clyde Estuary.¡±


    Only when the door closed did Grant lean back on the bed with a groan and cover his eyes with his hand.


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    ¡°I don¡¯t want to interrupt you from doing nothing, but I need clothes...¡±


    The guy looked at me with a disgruntled look. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°You can call me Siri.¡±


    ¡°Grant.¡±


    ¡°If I said it was a pleasure to meet you, I¡¯d be shamelessly lying.¡±


    He showed me a venomous smile in return. ¡°Likewise. It¡¯s very unpleasant for me to meet you, too.¡±


    ¡°So, what? Should I go in my hospital pajamas?¡±


    The guy shrugged his shoulders, but still reluctantly got out of bed and walked to the door, asking the bodyguard for clothes, which were very quickly brought.


    I eagerly pulled a black dress and tights out of the paper bag. I wanted to get rid of the uncomfortable hospital gown and shorts as soon as possible. But I wasn¡¯t happy with the color. It looked like a funeral outfit.


    I was already reaching for the buttons, but came to my senses just in time. ¡°Why don¡¯t you leave the room?¡±


    I turned around as I didn¡¯t hear the answer, and caught Grant Cirkul¡¯s curious gaze. The guy let out a chuckle when he met my glance, but I quickly shifted my attention from his laughing black eyes to the clothes in my hand.


    He raised his head to the ceiling and asked, ¡°What haven¡¯t I seen there?¡±


    ¡°Still, go away! And don¡¯t peek. I am not feeling at ease.¡±


    I turned away and walked to the window. Grant laughed mockingly at me. ¡°Mind you, the windows in the room don¡¯t open. And yes, you have two minutes.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to repeat myself, there are many other ways to death!¡± His tone infuriated me, so I didn¡¯t hold back, but the end of my tirade was already blurred with the sound of the closing door.


    Yet this Grant Cirkul... is handsome like an angel, but his character is nasty as hell.


    I changed quickly, the only problem was the zipper, which didn¡¯t want to go all the way up. The dress was a little tight in the chest, but it hung baggy on my hips. I put my hair in a more or less normal state, braided it, and looked at my feet ¨C they didn¡¯t give me shoes, so I had to stay in my hospital light green flip-flops.


    The door opened again, the president¡¯s son looked me over from top to bottom once more, and then held out the metal chain with a smile, ¡°It¡¯s exactly ten meters.¡±


    I stared in horror at the thread of tiny links gleaming in the sunlight, and backed away to the window. ¡°I¡¯m not wearing this.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll have to,¡± said the guy with an anticipatory smile and caught my glance, forcing every cell of my body to calm down and obey.


    I tried to throw off the magical hypnosis, but after a couple of seconds it became so unimportant that I slowed down, watching apathetically as the young man was approaching to me.


    My back thumped against the cool wall. There was nowhere else to go, and I seemed to have forgotten why I was running away. With a contented look, Grant hooked my collar and held the carabiner up to the ring that was attached to the leather rim of my ¡®garrotte¡¯. The lock clicked, and the cold metal of the links burned the skin of my collarbone.


    The guy let go of the chain on the floor, leaving only the end, which he clipped to the bracelet on his wrist.


    ¡°See? To keep things fair,¡± he raised his palm in front of my face to show off.


    ¡°Where¡¯s the fairness in that? Why can¡¯t I have a bracelet like yours?¡±


    ¡°For you to know your place,¡± uttered he, glaring at me contemptuously.


    I clenched my hands into fists, calming and trying to contain myself. It wasn¡¯t news that the golden young aristocrats, born with a silver spoon, thought of the rest of the people as servants and slaves. They had been brought up that way, instilled with the idea of their importance and superiority from birth, which meant they were hardly guilty of anything ¨C the cost of upbringing and ignorance.


    But I was all cringing with disgust at the platinum son as he was wrapping the chain around his fingers, shortening the potential distance between us.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he yanked the ¡®leash¡¯ lightly, causing me to bow my neck and run a few steps.


    But nope... my vanished rage returned with reinforcements.


    I stood up like a stone statue, resisting the pressure.


    ¡°I am a free person and my own mistress. I won¡¯t listen to your orders.¡±


    ¡°Well, what do you want?¡± he asked tiredly.


    ¡°A normal attitude.¡±


    Grant furrowed his brow, but immediately regained his placid mood and said with feigned politeness, ¡°Dear Siri, please come with me to the elevator. If my father doesn¡¯t see us soon, he¡¯ll strangle you himself for your sluggishness.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± I grinned softly, taking the boy by the elbow and rushing to the door, happy to have been heard.


    I rejoiced deep in my soul, savoring with anticipation the future in which I kill the president and fulfill my revenge. Tomorrow didn¡¯t seem so bad.


    But only until my gaze lingered on the calendar hanging over the front desk. My heart skipped a beat when I recalled the recent sad events. It had been precisely three days since the president¡¯s memorable speech about the closing of Virtul.

 10. Crumbled World

    The estuary of the Clyde River greeted us with bad weather and gloomy scenery. The sea was rough, gray waves lapping against the bay, the wind and rocks splashing the water.


    We got out of the car and stood behind a cluster of chairs, reporters¡¯ cameras, and the pedestal on which the president was giving his official speech.


    I didn¡¯t listen to what the head of the country was saying, I wasn¡¯t interested at all, my heart was stifled by a sense of humility and acceptance. Hope was burning out, turning to ash. I was too pained to keep hoping, because deep down I knew that the inevitable would happen.


    Once again, we heard liquid clapping from the invitees and a flock of journalists. The advertising logos were full of company names, all of them pro-political, supporting the current government.


    I recalled when my history teacher, who was probably the only person who cared about the future of the country, once brought up the topic of changes in the state hierarchy of Unica.


    ¡°Political scientists at Metropolitan University recently conducted a study in which they concluded that the structure of our country has shifted from a conventional constitutional state to a presidential monarchy...¡±


    At the time I did not understand the meaning of these words, the lengthy definition passed me by, I was looking at a fly that tried endlessly to make its way through the window pane to the true blue sky.


    ¡°The presidential monarchy is a typical constitutional form of social contract in non-emancipated societies. In other words, it is peculiar to those societies in which personalized small-group relations prevail. Usually in this relationship people fear each other (those who are not members of their small group) and therefore trust political power more than they trust each other. As a rule, in such societies individual activity, especially economic activity, is disapproved of at the moral level and is brutally controlled or persecuted at the political level...¡±


    At that time I thought all of the above was nonsense. I did not realize then that in the age of technomagic and high progress, people have become so unaccustomed to communicating and exchanging their cultural, social, and economic interests that when the hour of the ¡®Great Bad Changes¡¯ comes, no one will be able to unite and go against the government¡¯s decision.


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    Yes, I was now well aware that our country was a presidential monarchy. It so happened that one man, Rizor Cirkul, and his clan of henchmen had taken over all the other parties and all the more or less important state institutions. And at this moment he not only ruled, but he reigned. Long live our president, let him live and rejoice.


    Somewhere in another galaxy.


    The Virtul¡¯s satellites hovered three hundred feet above the surface of the sea. My breath hitched as I gazed around the dark dots in the distance.


    A small part of my heart trembled with optimism, filled with desire that the inevitable would not come, that the law would be repealed, that reason would reign in the minds of our politicians and that they would not make the worst mistake in the world.


    ¡°We¡¯re ready, Mr. President,¡± a secretary man in narrow glasses with white lenses came up to Cirkul.


    ¡°Then go ahead.¡±


    The huge cannons, brought specially for the occasion from military ranges, fired a volley. Almost after that, the second, third salvo. Above the glittering sea, fireworks burst forth, painting the heavy slate sky with bright, vibrant colors.


    And I stood in silence and watched as my world crumbled, as the satellites exploded near the ground, as terabytes of my life, my memories, my soul, sank into the depths of the sea.


    ¡°The servers have also been destroyed,¡± the secretary got the report over the phone and announced it out loud.


    The president, and then the crowd clapped, burying with applause the greatest game of mankind.


    I fell to my knees, all the strength gone from my legs. Grasped the ground with my fingers, trying to find my balance. The tears preventing me from seeing clearly.


    ¡°Why?¡± I couldn¡¯t hold back a sob.


    I wanted to laugh.


    I wanted to scream.


    I wanted to ask the sky for death.


    The guy next to me cursed loudly and pounded his fist into the hood of the jeep. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. Grant¡¯s face didn¡¯t look pretty right now, rage and anger was written on it.


    I exhaled silently. There was a person beside me who was suffering from the same thing. It made me feel a little better to know that I wasn¡¯t the only one who had been driven into an abyss of despair by the closure of Virtul.


    ¡°The president ordered to escort you as soon as the performance is over,¡± the bodyguard prudently opened the door, while the other five men surrounded us in a circle, making it impossible to escape.


    Grant Cirkul glared at the black-suited guards with a hateful look, but still got into the car. I looked back one last time at the sea, where the remains of the virtual world were ablaze.


    That¡¯s all.


    Goodbye, Di, my bright daughter-NPC of indeterminate race. Goodbye, Krile, my only beloved non-living husband.


    Goodbye, Virtul.


    Farewell.

 11. Calm after the storm

    ¡°All right, we¡¯re here,¡± the bodyguard¡¯s low voice snapped me out of my stupor.


    ¡°Get moving,¡± Grant pushed me toward the door.


    My flip-flops touched the tiles of the courtyard, I breathed in the evening air, cooled in the setting sun, and stretched my limbs. It had been a long drive, the traces of tears had long since vanished from my cheeks, and my mood had bathed in the moody silence inside the car, so the chirping of birds coming from the treetops surrounding the house gave me relief.


    ¡°This is where we leave you,¡± one of the three overly serious men in black bowed out.


    The car turned back onto the road, hidden in the dark thicket, leaving us ¨C me, the president¡¯s son, and the switched-off fountain ¨C to admire the sunset in the embrace of the approaching evening.


    My companion looked at the house with some hopeless gaze, grinned bitterly, and dragged me to the front door. I managed to run a glance around the park that encircled the mansion, coming up like a thaw line to a pile of snow; then I stroke my eyes over the building itself, pleasantly decorated in beige and brown brick.


    And the president¡¯s suburban two-story residence could not fail to boast of such expanses - its wings stretched both east and west, the latter side of which included several freestanding outbuildings. The sun painted the windows copper-red, which made it seem as if there were petals of flame dancing in the glass.


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    I climbed the stairs with absurd happiness, and, deep down, I was glad that I was going to visit such an exquisite place. In my mind, the residence of President Cirkul could not help but breathe luxury and sophistication, and that was something that Rizor had a taste for.


    The house greeted us with silence. And emptiness. Not a single person. No one came out to welcome us, no one looked out of the doorways as we walked down the corridor and up the marble stairs.


    Out of curiosity, I wanted to ask where Cirkul Jr. was taking us, but he gave me such a warning glare that I decided not to open my mouth. But I wasn¡¯t lost in suspense for too long, for I was graciously let through the huge double doors.


    Almost all the curtains were closed, and the light from the only open window was barely enough to make a dim outline of the library. I had no time to be surprised since the chain pulled me onto the carpet and into the middle of the room. Without a word, Grant leaned over the stand, the quiet clinking of glass and murmuring, the guy threw his head back and drank a shot of whiskey in a gulp.


    ¡°You¡­¡± I was speechless for a moment as I stared at the bottle of scotch in his hand. ¡°H-how can you drink alcohol in a situation like this? Especially on an empty stomach!¡±


    He grinned in my face and leaned back in a chair. I walked in a wide arc around this crazy man and sat down on the couch opposite him.


    ¡°Be silent. Don¡¯t say anything.¡±


    Not his words ¨C only a glimmer of wild undercurrent pain in his eyes stopped me from giving him another tirade.


    Grant closed his lids and froze, only a shiver of his Adam¡¯s apple and sparsely heaving shoulders distinguishing him from the dead man. His face seemed very pale against the dark background of the wall.


    I exhaled and turned away, the chain links rattling on the carpet. Now I didn¡¯t care about the demons of someone else¡¯s soul, my own were doing the goddamn dance. For a couple of seconds I sat there with a wailer¡¯s smile, struggling with myself, but then gave up, pressed my palm to my mouth and sobbed soundlessly, choking back silent tears.

 12. If you don’t go to the bed, the floor goes to you

    The sun had already fallen asleep when my body tired to tremble with silent screams. I threw my feet to the floor, exhaustion overwhelming me, but hunger rivaled sleep for the title of the main disturbant of the peace.


    ¡°Grant.¡±


    Silence.


    ¡°Grant Cirkul.¡±


    I walked up to the boy and shook his shoulder, but all I got in response was a sniffle. His head rested on the wooden rim of the chair, his arms at his sides.


    Of course, I didn''t mind sleeping either, but I wanted to get to bed first.


    ¡°Wake up!¡± I slapped his pale cheek a couple of times. His eyes opened at my action and looked at me so doomed-unconsciously ¨C and then closed again. He turned away.


    With sadistic determination, I stretched my neck muscles, inhaled deeply, and pulled my enemy''s son down onto the carpet. He groaned, but I didn''t even feel pity. I wasn''t going to spend the rest of the night trying to keep myself warm on the pile.


    I crouched down, pulled the sleeping alcoholic''s torso onto my back, and staggered towards the library exit blowing a loose strand from my forehead.


    I decided to trust my heart and turned left - in his favourite direction ¨C but after ten metres I shamefully gave up. Threw the unpleasant companion down on the parquet, slid the curtain and sat down on the windowsill. My palm touched something pleasantly rough, and it looked like I''d stumbled into a secret spot: there was a square folded plaid and a sofa cushion on top of it.


    A quiet muttering brought me back to reality. I looked at Grant, crouched in a fetal position on the floor, his hair disheveled, strands messily falling over his eyelashes, and the white shirt should probably be renamed grey ¨C its owner had slumped over my shoulders a few times, so I wasn''t sure that he hadn''t picked up dust along the way. But even in the moonlight, his face looked cute and fragile.


    Well... For the first time I felt sorry for him, so I threw the plaid over him, though most of it covered his head and his bare ankles lost the opportunity to get warm. But I didn''t bother to adjust it.


    I looked out the window, where the moon''s glare rippled on the leaves, driven by the wind. My reflection was dull and tear-red, my hair dishevelled, but my appearance did not cause me shame, a desire to preen myself or turn away to avoid seeing myself again. I looked into my eyes, which were so familiar, framed by brittle lashes, and tried to find my soul in them. I tried to find my past self, the little girl who looked at the world with interest and curiosity, the teenager who was shy of pimples and glasses, the young girl who dreamed of living freely and enjoying her little pleasures.


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    But I couldn''t find her. A pale shadow in a funeral dress sat before me, with a white collar kissing her skin, a pulse beating beneath it. The gold ornamentation, four letters and two numbers drew me into a wild apathy. ¡°Siri-22¡± glinted in the window reflection, a deadly little thing packed with technology capable of blowing this presentable mansion to smithereens.


    I lifted my palm, ran my forefinger over the rough surface of the engraving, over the cool smoothness of the ivory. Yes, they didn''t skimp on such killer jewellery. The scientists who were present in the ward during the morning examination were discussing my peculiar choker among themselves. I heard them mention the precious ivory and sapphire crystals soldered into the gaps between the diodes.


    And who would need to create such an expensive piece of jewelry? Frighteningly expensive, deadly charming, eye-catching and causing cold goosebumps under the heart.


    ¡°Fru, fru-fru, mru...m.¡±


    I staggered downstairs, where the president''s son was tossing and turning, picking dust from the baseboard with his nose. His mumbling through his sleep made me grin wildly, and then I burst out laughing, crushing the sobs of laughter in my wrist vein. His slurred speech patterns turned into barely intelligible words, then back into the gibberish of a drunk in a back alley.


    I banged my forehead against the glass, but my attempt to calm down failed. It was terribly funny to me: night, moonlight, a corridor with dark corners, a boy polishing the parquet with his cheek, and a hysterically laughing girl entangled in a thin thread of chain, bound by a vengeance pact to this place. And that would be all right, except the sniveling young man was the son of her mortal enemy, the scion of President Cirkul himself.


    And the female silhouette that was leaning its shoulder against the window frame was me. The one who forty hours ago had said goodbye to the earth and the sky, to the air and all living things.


    So how come I''m still breathing?


    The contract. Three months.


    I groaned, sliding onto the windowsill, which was long and wide ¨C just the right length for melancholy, stargazing. Calm down, Siri, you''ve got three months to be patient. Then you''ll do your duty of vengeance and step into the next world with a fine mood.


    All that remained was to endure a ninety-day existence side by side with this snoring, pale (but, let''s face it, handsome) guy.


    I returned the plaid to the windowsill, withdrew the pillow and put it under my butt, wrapped myself in the wool blanket that still remembered the warmth of another man, and threw back my head, promising myself to think about the future and the death of the president at the right time. For now, I just wanted to catch my heartbeat and gulp in air, suffering from insomnia.

 13. You’ll be a nobody

    But I had fallen on the line between dream and reality, suspended in memories that flashed bright, stinging colors on the inside of my eyelids. I saw, as if it were yesterday, an endless field of rye, golden ears. The sky was flooded with sunset, gradually turning to dawn ¨C and so on again.  It was never day and night in the Silar fields, only sunrise playing catch-up with sunset.


    That was the first time I came to this field ¨C I stumbled upon a side quest by accident.  It was to find lilac field mice in the fields near the city of Silar, collect three hundred tails, for which the NPC at the main gate gave out search rings ¨C quite good devices that help to detect hidden mobs in unexplored locations.


    It was then I first met Kitana, a swordswoman with a high pigtail and an extreme insolence. There weren''t enough mice for the two of us. I even fought with her over the loot, because the Mouse King had too much valuable stuff to throw around left and right.


    From then on, we became bitter enemies. I hated her with every fiber of my being because she was always one step ahead of me. Whether it was a rare boss that needed to be captured and taken to the elders, or PvP tournaments, or faction warfare, popularity rankings. All in all, every time she appeared on the horizon, it made me cringe.


    Once we got into a group in an instance, half of our party died in the first seconds, there were too many mobs, and whether it was a glitch in the system or new features introduced, but our attacks on the overgrown spiders did not work. By the end of the hour, there were only two of us left: me and Kitana. At this point, I had to humble my pride and go against the prejudice I''d been nursing for months. We miraculously survived, killing the spider mate on the last drops of HP.


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    Since then we''ve turned into best friends. All our mutual hatred blossomed into a close friendship.


    I smiled, trying to hide the pain of happy memories that now carried only bitterness. There were so many sentimental stories in my Virtul, so many laughs and tears, emotions, relationships, and a Soul, all these scraps of my life were now grinding my bones and cutting my heart into mincemeat.


    Strange as it may seem, most often all my relationships with live players in Virtul started with  reciprocal dislike; rarely did I find myself in sympathy with my vis-a-vis from the first seconds of a meeting. I knew from experience that the more fiercely you despise and hate a person, the more sincere and loyal you will be to him as a friend, if you have a chance to get to know each other better.


    The first glimmers of dawn slid across the glass, and I stretched and yawned, reluctantly chasing the sleep away. The birds stirred in the trees, their morning chatter made me sad, melancholy flowing through my veins like mist on the yard tiles.


    I looked at the young man who was never supposed to be my enemy ¨C to never become my friend. I should let go of hatred and turn on indifference, to bathe in that milky-warm equanimity and sip a cocktail of abject detachment.


    Grant Circul, you will never be my enemy or my friend. You will only be a means to an end.


    You will be a nobody.

 14. Mission ‘Survive’

    ¡°What are you looking at? Like me?¡±


    ¡°That was my favorite windowsill. You desecrated it with your presence.¡±


    I grinned to myself, putting on a mask of impenetrable equanimity, and jumped to the floor, ignoring his displeased gaze. Yeah, I wouldn''t have been in the mood either if I''d had to spend the night on lacquered parquet instead of a soft bed. It was his own fault, his choice to fall asleep in my weak but thoughtless arms.


    ¡°I''m starving.¡±


    Cirkul Jr''s sleep-dampened face twitched, he shook his shoulders, chasing away the irritation.


    ¡°Me too.¡±


    ¡°So what are we waiting for?¡± I leaned forward and looked up at the guy, trying to get him to make the slightest movement towards the food.


    But Grant decided otherwise, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, gave a voice command, a couple of beeps, and on the other end of the line was a cheerful, ¡°Grant, it''s so good to hear from you. Has anything happened? When are you coming to see me at the residence? I''ve missed you...¡±


    The young man hastily stopped the flow of words, ¡°Midi, I already have. I''ve arrived here. Didn''t my father tell you?¡±


    A second of confusion, then a muffled voice from the loudspeaker squeezed out, ¡°Mr Cirkul didn''t say anything like that to me... I didn''t think you''d come so soon, my sister was ill so I went to visit her.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see. So when can we expect you?¡±


    Rustling and indistinct sounds on the other end of the wire, the unknown Midi returned to the conversation, ¡°Not for another three days. But I''ll try to get there as soon as possible.¡±


    ¡°Good.¡±


    ¡°I have to go. Call the guard station if you need anything. See you soon.¡±


    The young man''s black eyebrows furrowed a little, but he didn''t give up. ¡°Guard post.¡±


    We stood in the middle of the corridor, hungry and angry (well, at least I was), listening to the long beeps until a soft ¡®beep¡¯ signalled the end of the call. Grant froze with the phone to his ear, representing a sculpture of the world''s most miserable-looking guy.


    My stomach exploded with a rumbling sound that must have been heard by the squirrels in the pine tree at the end of the garden.


    ¡°Where''s the kitchen?¡±


    This idiot seemed to have finally remembered that he had me, realised something in his head and dragged me towards the stairs.


    The kitchen was clean and empty. I opened the nearest cupboards, reached the fridge ¨C the gut of the big friend was filled with disappointment: thirty bottles of water and one dried lemon.


    ¡°There''s nothing here.¡±


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    ¡°I can see it myself,¡± Grant said above my ear.


    I turned round, clutched his shirt collar, and with a threat, for I was really hungry, said, ¡°Call your father.¡±


    Even though I considered Rizor an enemy, getting food support from him didn''t seem so shameful now.


    Cirkul unhooked me from him, stepped back a few steps.


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°But we have nothing to eat!¡±


    ¡°We''ll find something.¡±


    He leaned over the lower cupboards, opened the door, rummaged among the dishes, and with a triumphant cry pulled out a pile of crouton. In a nearby pan he found some ring-shaped cracknel.


    My first thought was, ¡®I''m certainly not going to eat this. Only the god of dry bread knows when these things lost their right to be eaten.¡¯ But I had to accept it ¨C sad as it was to admit, hunger can drive people to crazy behaviour.


    Our first breakfast together with Grant Cirkul was a perfect idyll of crunching and munching. We picked early cucumbers and tomatoes in the greenhouse, found mouldy cheese in a wine crate and, after making breadcrumb sandwiches, dignifiedly (choked) ate them in the empty dining room furnished with aristocratic asceticism and drank bottled water.


    We took turns going to the toilet and shower. First, the son of the enemy of all people tied me with a chain to the door handle, and then he calmly left to take water procedures for two hours. I was furious, twitching and trying to break free because listening to smug chants and songs in an unknown language from a man who not only sang the national anthem in the shower, but also revealed to the world that he didn''t have a musical bone in his body, was worse than being blown up by a bomb and dying.


    Finally, I was allowed into the bathroom. I stared at the collar in the mirror for a long time, trying to pick it up with my fingernails, but it stuck to my skin, itching and scratching.


    But I had a blast with the shampoos and gels, my imagination ran wild, so the smoothie of foam and sea salt added to the conditioner smelled of sea and cucumber lotion. The expensive shaving cream was mercilessly poured down the sink and I squeezed toothpaste into the tube instead. I had less cosmetics at home than this guy had body balms! This beauty seemed to be a sissy as he had three foams for his heels: softening, moisturising and velvety.


    ¡°If you''re not out in a minute, you''re in trouble,¡± came the threatening voice from behind the door for the third time.


    I chuckled, pleased with my small victory, ¡°You weren''t in the bathroom for three minutes either.¡±


    ¡°Come out,¡± he rammed on the door. ¡°Or I''ll get you out myself.¡±


    ¡°Don''t you dare! I''m going to take a dump. There''s an indescribable odour coming¡­¡±


    To prove my point, I sprinkled on a delicious and insanely expensive air freshener and jogged across the rather large bathroom, the chain whipping behind me, jingling on the tiles.


    ¡°I''m tired of standing here.¡±


    ¡°So sit down! The floor is not cold. How do you think I felt squatting on the floor listening to your solo concert? You''re lucky I didn''t sing in the shower like someone else did 40 minutes ago.¡±


    ¡°Siri, please.¡±


    It was the first time Circul had ever said such a polite word to me, so pity took over and I sighed, chastising myself for being soft-hearted.


    ¡°Okay. I''m nearly finished.¡±


    My dress wouldn''t fasten the second time, the zip was broken, so I grabbed a towel, wrapped myself in it and strode out into the bedroom with my head held high.


    ¡°You took too long,¡± he said reproachfully. Then he stopped half-heartedly and ran his eyes over my body.


    ¡°Then let''s make a pact not to spend more than fifteen minutes in the bathroom... and yes, I need to get dressed. Are there any women''s clothes in this house?¡±


    ¡°Remind me about the bathroom when we write up the rules for living together,¡± he said as he turned away. ¡°And yes, you''ll be wearing my clothes for a while.¡±


    An oversized white T-shirt landed on my head, and then another, and another. The towel fell out of my hair and cold goose bumps immediately ran down the back of my head. I glared angrily at the guy rummaging through the depths of the wardrobe.


    ¡°Will you also give me your underwear?¡±


    Grant turned around and looked at me dumbfounded, his cheeks slightly flushed, but to his credit the guy quickly found something to say.


    ¡°You need clothes after all. Take my shorts for now,¡± he said, holding out a pair of beige bermudas without looking at me.


    And I suddenly realised I had found a new fetish ¨C Circul''s embarrassed son.

 15. No-thing or how paper airplanes will save the world from boredom

    ¡°So what now? What do we do next?¡±


    I froze in the middle of the library, gazing with interest at the ancient tomes of world history that I personally would have loved to spoil, as they were obviously of great value to the president.


    ¡°Welcome to exile. There is no internet here, although it does exist, albeit intermittently, nor any entertainment electronics.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I turned to Grant. ¡°No phones, no infovisors, no robots, not even a shabby old computer?¡±


    ¡°No-thing,¡± said Cirkul, gloating at me, but then he frowned, as if he wasn''t happy about this turn of events himself.


    The guy crunched his fingers, craned his neck from side to side, and chose a book with an ornate title. He sat down in a chair, opened the first page and lost himself in the reading. I looked out the window, glanced at the clock, pushed a compendium off the shelf and onto my lap, trying to escape reality as well.


    ¡®Techniques for the treatment of psychogenic seizures¡¯ was the first paragraph. I immediately closed the medical anthology. No way, I was too young for that kind of information.


    I stretched out on the couch, looked at Grant, at the clock again, at the weather outside, which was getting worse by the minute, and sighed. Sat up straight again and went back to ¡®Seizures¡¯. The paper was rough and worn, yellowish, as if it had been read many times. My palms itched with anticipation and I ran my fingertips along the sharp corner of the page, tensing and pulling it towards me.


    A ripping sound shattered the dull silence of the library. I looked round startled, checking for Circul''s reaction, but he met me with a reproachful look. He didn''t say anything. The second page, number seven, was easier to tear off.


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    The first paper planes came out crooked, but by the thirteenth I was better, smoothed out the creases, straightened up and chose a target ¨C a fountain pen sticking out of a desk organizer, orphaned on the table among documents and letters.


    Only my eighth plane was able to fly close to the pen, touching it with its wing instead of zigzagging out of the open window.


    ¡°Well... almost,¡± I exhaled disappointedly.


    ¡°You are just like a little child.¡±


    I turned to see Cirkul Jr. looking at me contemptuously. Wow, someone had stopped ignoring me.


    ¡°You''re such a nerd. It''s such a nice day and we''re sitting at home. Won''t you show me the garden?¡±


    He raised an eyebrow and grinned at my indignation. Thunder rumbled behind me.


    I looked down, and to escape the laughing gaze of the black eyes, I went to collect the planes. Threw them all beside the couch, sat down on the carpet, rested my head on the warm upholstery of the sofa and stared at the elaborately carved wooden globe that stood in the niche between the cases.


    The sleepless night and meeting the dawn on the windowsill had an immediate effect, my eyelids closed and I didn''t even have time to yawn before I fell asleep.


    But no sooner had I wiped my eyes after a sweet dream than I bumped my nose against his knee. Grant, it turned out, had managed to change his seat and the book in the meantime and was now squinting down at me.


    My heart sank into my heels; I didn''t like his scratchy gaze.


    ¡°Stop staring. Are you admiring me?¡± I stood up to avoid the haughty look of my enemy.


    ¡°I''m not admiring you, I''m wondering what nature has done to you. Are you so poor or so stupid? Why haven''t you had plastic surgery?¡±


    He tried to provoke me, but I just grinned, shrugged and pushed the library door ¨C it opened with a creak.


    ¡°Maybe you could show me around?¡±


    The chain tightened and then loosened, Circul moved closer, bringing the smell of peppermint back to me.


    ¡°I will,¡± he said over my ear. ¡°It''s boring anyway.¡±


    And I was dragged deep into the president''s residence, where probably no mere mortal had ever set foot.

 16. The memory of ‘The Lady with the Blazing Heart’

    ¡°What about this one?¡±


    I turned round as Circul was in no hurry to answer.


    ¡°This is my mother''s room,¡± the guy exhaled almost reverently, running his palm over the floral pattern of the light purple wallpaper.


    ¡°Oh, I want to sit here,¡± I patted the carved white chair, ¡°and lie here...¡± My fingers trailed along the sofa by the balcony. I reached out to hug the porcelain vase.


    ¡°These are perfectly ordinary pieces of furniture.¡±


    ¡°You don''t understand a thing! These are the private chambers of Wemily Circul herself, ¡®the Lady with the Blazing Heart¡¯. Instead of the kitchen and five pantries, you could have brought me straight here.¡±


    I gently stroked the strings of the cello that stood guard on a stand in the corner. The deep, low sounds immediately filled the room, sending shivers through my chest.


    ¡°These things were touched by the president''s wife herself.¡± I buried my nose in the perfume cabinet, blissfully inhaling the divine scents of the most expensive cosmetics in the world.


    There was laughter at my back. ¡°You are funny.¡±


    I looked into the mirror and saw Circul sitting on the couch in front of the bed, smiling at me.


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    ¡°You don''t get it. I was a member of your mother''s fan club for five years.¡±


    ¡°Yes, she had many admirers...¡± Grant said with a hint of nostalgia in his voice, turning his gaze to the portrait above the fireplace.


    ¡°I''m sorry she''s gone. She was a very good person.¡±


    The young man nodded, accepting my sympathy. I ran my fingers over the jewellery, which was neatly stacked in the box. These star earrings were the ones Wemily had worn when she''d spoken at the charity event for the victims of the terrorist attack, this bracelet had shone on her wrist when she''d presented honorary certificates to veterans of the Hundred Years'' War. And this ring... was the engagement ring Rizor Circul had given her for Unica''s Independence Day.


    I knew almost everything about ¡®the Lady with the Blazing Heart¡¯, at least I remembered every date in her public life. A girl from the richest family in the Samun Empire, she had run away from home at seventeen to devote her life to music and her beloved cello, rather than arranged marriages and high society parties. It was at one of the fundraising events that she was spotted by the future Mr. President playing her favourite ¡®Smeraldo''s Farewell Song¡¯.


    She was the kind of unassuming person who, by her behaviour and self-image, could make you think she was the most beautiful woman in the world. I hated Risor Circul, but I was grateful for his choice. He had married the kindest and most empathetic person in all of history who had ever lived. His wife had done great things, noble and generous, selfless and righteous. She became a legend to be worshipped for years to come.


    It''s a shame her life was cut so short. Brilliant people rarely have a happy fate.


    My feet carried me to the dressing room, the light came on at the entrance and I gazed happily at the abundance of clothes.


    ¡°So many beautiful garments here...¡±


    He blocked my way.


    ¡°Don''t you dare touch that. You''re fine in mine, don''t defile my mother''s things.¡±


    ¡°Sourpuss.¡±


    I exhaled angrily and walked away, but for a long time afterwards I remembered Grant''s frowning face defending the last memory of his mother.

 17. There was no promise of food

    By midday we had reached the attic.


    ¡°Siri.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Whoa, look, a mouse!¡±


    And a squeaky grey little rat was tossed at me.


    I unhooked the poor animal, its eyes bulging with fear, from my T-shirt and let it go back to its mission of gnawing.


    ¡°That''s not funny.¡±


    ¡°I thought you''d be scared,¡± Grant said disappointedly.


    ¡°Which one of us is the little child?¡± I remembered his remark about my airplanes.


    Among the rubbish we found a box of games: chess, go, cards. We also discovered a rare radio, which surprisingly worked when we picked up the only wave in the area.


    For the next half an hour we listened to jazz and played card game Durak. We really had nothing to do.


    I was afraid to go down into the cellar, but it was the only place we had not yet explored and where we thought we might find food. My stomach was already ready for pickles or jam, if there was nothing else.


    But we were lucky. In the back room we came across a fridge full of tinned food. Although I embellished the ¡®lucky¡¯ part a bit.


    ¡°I told you we''d get something,¡± Grant''s face beamed with satisfaction.


    I opened the top flap ¨C nothing but peas and condensed milk. Circul Junior pulled a frozen fish and a packet of dumplings out of the freezer.


    We decided to fry some fish. None of us had ever cooked before, so we went online for help. But halfway through the video, the connection went down. We never learnt what to do after cutting off the head of a dead fish.


    Then we tried pouring oil into a frying pan, adding some finely chopped red fillets and a pinch of salt, but the cooking didn''t go to plan ¨C the drops of oil bounced in all directions, my hand shook and the pan said hello to the floor tiles. As a result, the kitchen was subjected to a rehearsal of the apocalypse on a local level.


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    I scraped the scales off the pan and threw the burnt bits of fish in the bin.


    Yeah, that was a failure.


    We went back to the dumplings. Well, I kind of knew how to cook them. Especially as the instructions were on the packet.


    Waited a long time for the water to boil.


    ¡°Grant, I don''t want to ¡®please¡¯ you, but you forgot to turn on the stove.¡±


    ¡°I thought you would turn it on.¡±


    We turned it on. The water rumbled as we waited, enjoying condensed milk with leftover breadcrumbs.


    Threw the dumplings into the pot and watched with curiosity as they floated to the top and swelled in the boiling water.


    ¡°I think they''re cooked,¡± Circul poked at something deconstructed and unappetising-looking with a knife.


    ¡°Finally,¡± I armed myself with a fork and, saying a short prayer to all the gods of luck and food, grabbed two dumplings at once. ¡°Mm... unusual taste.¡±


    Grant chewed too and shrugged. ¡°I have no idea, I don''t have a sense of taste.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    Circul nodded. ¡°And I can''t smell anything either. I got sick when I was little, so I haven''t felt anything since.¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry about that.¡±


    ¡°You don''t have to. Nature hasn''t spared you either.¡±


    ¡°Umg?¡±


    ¡°You''ve had a bad face since birth. At least I can live with my affliction, but if I had yours, I''d be ashamed to go out in public,¡± he said with a sweet smile.


    I clucked my tongue in disapproval. ¡°You''re so petty, you know that? Everyone in your high society seems to be ugly, so when you saw the true beauty in my face, you went out of phase and now you''re talking nonsense, aren''t you?¡±


    He narrowed his eyes. A venomous smile creased his lips. ¡°One-One. But... everything about your appearance is truly unassuming. In metropolitan circles, you wouldn''t even be noticed.¡±


    ¡°Do you regret that fate tied you to someone like me?¡± I grinned and pointed my fork at him. ¡°Listen, you''ll regret those words later. Mark my words.¡±


    ¡°That will never happen. In a few weeks, maybe less, I''ll take this chain off your neck and say goodbye, and we''ll never meet again.¡±


    ¡°I hope it happens as soon as possible.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I can''t wait.¡±


    The pile of dumplings melted away before our eyes. And when the last dumpling was left, we fought for the right to have it. Grant, like a true gentleman, would not give in to me, his guest, and I, like a hungry girl in the prime of life, resisted any thought of yielding to this callous, rude fool.


    So, after thirty-three rounds of rock-paper-scissors, the dumpling was mine. I chewed it with a victorious smile.


    ¡°Winner does the dishes,¡± Circul Jr managed to ruin my cherry on the cake, I swallowed, unable to taste it.


    It was four o''clock in the afternoon and I looked around at the mess, sighed and went to clear the table while Grant sat on the stool with his knees up to his chin. The first plate broke by accident, the second, I confess, didn''t make it to the sink because of me.


    Moved the shards together with my foot and announced grumpily, ¡°Auntie next door used to say it wasn''t good if dirty dishes broke in the house.¡±


    ¡°Do you always escalate?¡± Grant chuckled. ¡°Okay, I guess today''s not our day. We''ll save the cleaning for tomorrow.¡±

 18. There are worse things than death

    A few hours later.


    ¡°I don''t feel good,¡± I bent in half from the sudden sharp pain. My stomach was churning.


    ¡°Just in case, I have no idea where the first aid kit is in this house,¡± said Grant.


    I reached for the water bottle, unscrewed the cap and gulped down half the remaining liquid, then grimaced in pain again. Grant didn''t care at all about my condition; he was sitting on his phone, checking the latest news as the internet descended upon us.


    An unpleasant rumbling went through my whole body.


    ¡°It''s either the condensed milk with peas or the dumplings...¡± I groaned.


    A hunch struck me almost immediately. I leapt to my feet and dragged the fellow into the kitchen. Under Grant''s puzzled gaze, I rummaged through the rubbish. The packet was quickly found.


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    I blew a loose strand from my forehead, my eyes feverishly scanning the lines. Then relaxed and lost what little self-control I had left.


    ¡°Grant, I know you don''t have much of a brain, almost as much as me. But did you think to check the expiry date?¡±


    ¡°Do dumplings have an expiry date?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said in a deadened voice. ¡°And those dumplings should have said goodbye two years ago...¡±


    ¡°Oh no, it seems I''m feeling something too.¡±


    I still did not understand, and he took me by the arm. There was a nondescript door at the end of the corridor. Grant quickly removed the chain and bracelet from his wrist and fastened it to the doorknob, then disappeared into a small, bright room with a toilet bowl.


    And all would have been well, except that after a minute I was overcome by an urgent desire to ¡®communicate¡¯ with this ¡®white friend¡¯ as well.


    ¡°Grant, Grant, come out quickly. Please, please, I can''t take it anymore.¡±


    The response I got was the rustle of tearing toilet paper and foul noises.


    For the umpteenth time these days, I have realised that death is not the worst thing in this world.

 19. How to annex someones bed.

    ¡°You know, Grant, as a matter of principle, I''m not going to sleep in the same bed with you.¡±


    ¡°Don''t worry, I''m not attracted to you at all.¡±


    ¡°Still. I can''t sleep with another person on the same plane. I just won''t be able to sleep.¡±


    I was telling the truth, I''d been having trouble sleeping since I was a kid, and it was rare for me to fall asleep in the same place twice in a row. Not to mention the strange creatures breathing next to my ear. I felt a shiver of disgust run through my body at the image in my head.


    The Circul gave me a cheerful look, smiled, and very hospitably said, ¡°Alright, you''ll sleep on the floor.¡±


    ¡°Why me?¡±


    ¡°This is my bed,¡± the guy said, patting the bedspread affectionately, its tassels playing with the pile of the carpet.


    A killer argument. I had nothing to say. If a stranger came to my house and asked to sleep on my bed, I would throw him out of the window onto the briar bushes in the garden.


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    The president''s son was surprised at my quick surrender, but I really decided to forget about comfort and cosiness. I was going to die anyway, and now I didn''t need any pleasure from life. With iron determination I pulled a blanket from the wardrobe, snatched a second pillow from the bed and lay down on the carpet, covering my head.


    But politeness took its toll, and like an obedient girl, I bade my enemy goodnight, ¡°Sweet dreams.¡±


    Grant stood around for a few more heartbeats, then turned off the light and climbed onto the bed. It was dark and quiet.


    After a minute I realized that it was too hard to sleep on the floor, my shoulder blades were aching so I tried turning on my side but it only got worse, my right hip was now uncomfortable.


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    ¡°Are you sleeping?¡±


    Only after about twenty seconds did he deign to reply, ¡°Yes.¡±


    Satisfied that I''d had a chance to annoy this nasty guy, I put my hands under my head, sighed, and said in a philosophical tone that only comes out at night or after three shots of hard liquor, ¡°Grant, do you think we''ll ever get Virtul back?¡±


    ¡°We?¡±


    ¡°Well, the people who want to play it.¡±


    I even pulled away from the pillow to look into his eyes, but Circul Junior turned his back to me.


    ¡°Let''s sleep,¡± he said muffled after a while.


    Clenched my eyes shut to keep the tears from filling my lids. I''d spent half the night chasing away any thoughts of the game, but the memories of Virtul kept my mind busy, preventing me from falling into the void.


    But tiredness had taken its toll, and I drifted off to sleep, but the fragile dream was cut short when I rolled over onto my other side. I shuddered and reality came flooding back. A shiver ran down my bare feet, across my stomach and up my back.


    I was desperate to sleep, but my body was aching from the hardness of the floor, so I decided to defy my principles and move to a warmer, softer place. I walked silently around the bed, climbed quietly onto the sheet on the other side of Grant, tugged at the edge of the blanket and sighed with pleasure.


    Who knew the guy would wake up immediately.


    ¡°Get out of here.¡±


    ¡°I''m freezing to death!¡±


    ¡°I don''t care. You agreed to sleep on the floor. So shoo. I''m uncomfortable.¡±


    He was already reaching for my hand to throw me back down to the unfriendly floor.


    ¡°Ouch, what are you doing?!¡± Grant pulled his forearm up to his chest, cradling it after my bite.


    ¡°Keep your paws off me, you bloody bed emperor. Where does it say it''s yours? Let me sleep on a decent mattress for once in my life! My body hurts and I''m cold.¡± I kicked Circul Jr in the stomach, sending him to the carpet ticks, freezing goosebumps, and soon-to-be dust sneezes.


    ¡°You...¡± his face showed at the level of the sheet.


    Without a moment''s hesitation, I threw the bedspread and pillow over him. ¡°Be thankful I warmed up that spot on the floor for you. It''s warmer now.¡±


    And while he floundered in the streams of fabric, I crawled to the other side of the bed, buried my head under the covers and squirmed, as I used to do as a child when I was very scared or bad or wanted to disappear.


    But there was no revenge, for Grant seemed dumbfounded by my insolence and probably sat there all night staring at the outline of my back in utter amazement. At least I hoped it was him, and that his eyes were filled with shock and not with the devil''s petals of fire preparing for retribution.


    Nevertheless, I woke up the next morning embraced by Circul''s arms.


    I should have been outraged, but his warm palm pressed the fabric of my T-shirt against my stomach in warning, and a low voice whispered, echoing its master''s magic, ¡°Calm down. Sleep.¡±

 20. Rules of Survivaccommodation pt1

    In the morning, help arrived. Just like in the good old fairy tales, a fairy came to the house and brought order to our chaotic, hungry lives.


    ¡°I rushed here as soon as you called. Who would have thought that your father would send you to our country so suddenly? How could you live here without me, poor dears?¡± Midea, the Cirkul''s housekeeper, kept saying.


    It was the first time in my life that I had seen such a kind-hearted and talkative woman, her red curls bouncing with every step and movement. In spite of her advanced age, she managed to bore us with her sweet bustle at breakfast, and her energy and life seemed more vigorous than Grant''s and mine.


    ¡®How could such a good soul be working for the Circuls?¡¯ I thought as I looked again at the freckled miss with the funny thick-rimmed glasses, flour falling from the wide sleeves of her jumper. It always seemed to me that there could be no decent people in the president''s entourage, only crooks, sinister types in black spectacles and clever but overly cruel and disciplined villainous servants.


    ¡°Refills, darling?¡± she asked.


    I nodded, staring at Midi. It had been a long time since anyone had treated me with such affection and care. The smile on her face made my heart race with the unreality of the moment. My plate was filled with another pile of toasted pancakes topped with condensed milk.


    I cut off a large piece and put it in my mouth, my tongue immediately drowning in the sweetness. Oh, holy cakes, this is indescribably delicious.


    Grant was more reserved and did not roll his eyes in pleasure as me, but it all was clear from the lightning-fast dance of knife and fork, from the lively work of his jaw, from the drop of condensed milk dripping down his chin.


    Midi put the pan in the sink, dripped some detergent on the sponge and was about to reach for the tap when she remembered something and turned to us.


    ¡°You already know what you''re going to do after breakfast, don''t you?¡± A mischievous smile played at the corners of her plump lips.


    Grant raised a questioning eyebrow and I froze, a lump rising in my throat, my gut telling me that the housekeeper''s sweet voice had a reason for being so high-pitched.


    ¡°Clean up the mess you''ve made,¡± she looked around the kitchen, which was a sorry sight after our failed attempt to fry fish and cook the unfortunate dumplings ¨C we didn''t have time to tidy up. And we weren''t in the mood.


    Now I wanted to cry ¨C I felt sorry for the kitchen, but most of all for myself. I was already ¡®anticipating¡¯ how I would wipe the greasy splatters from the tiles, the floor and the stove with a cloth soaked in baking powder. Yes, the oil sizzled and bubbled with enthusiasm and fire yesterday.


    Grant frowned, his fork stuck in the air for a moment, but then he made a decision for himself, the wrinkle on the bridge of his nose smoothed out and he resumed his breakfast with a calm expression.


    I rested my head on the table, my forehead kissing the cool surface. I was ready to do anything right now: escape from prison, betray my country, save the world, or go to war to do heroic deeds and get people out of stalemates, but not to clean up.


    ¡°Otherwise you won''t get any more food,¡± she threatened, smiling.


    I banged my head on the table a few times, moaning and groaning, trying to elicit sympathy. But Circul just said in a low, murderous voice, ¡°Siri, don''t you remember what you had done at the library?¡±


    I stared at him from under the fringe of my hair, but my beastly look was ignored. Midi, her hands fluttering with emotion, whispered, ¡°Ah, it''s been a while since we''ve had such passion brewing in our kitchen... how beautiful you two look together!¡±


    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    To my surprise, my worst enemy, hearing the housekeeper''s words, did not become angry, but lifted the corners of his lips. Grant moved my stool with me, put his arm around me and rested his chin on my shoulder.


    ¡°Midi, how about this? More beautiful?¡± he asked, and I was taken aback by the sweetness in his voice. ¡°Take a picture of us.¡±


    The woman reached for her phone, while I finally came to my senses. I kicked the leg of the chair Circul Junior was sitting in, but instead of knocking it over, I lost my balance and fell to the floor.


    ¡°Ouchie...¡± I rubbed my elbow, red from the collision with the tiles.


    Midi mumbled worriedly, Grant bent down and held out his hand, ¡°Does it hurt?¡±


    I pushed his palm away and, gasping, climbed to my feet. ¡°Don''t touch me! Don''t you dare violate my privacy.¡±


    ¡°Or what?¡± he asked with a challenge and a hint of curiosity.


    ¡°Otherwise, my fragile mental apparatus will break and I''ll turn your nose into a mosaic. Then you''ll collect your bones and cartilage with tweezers under a microscope.¡±


    Grant grinned, but didn''t move his paws towards me again, Midi walked around me, examining me.


    ¡°You''ll have to put something cold on it,¡± said she, her fingers tickling my skin.


    I pulled away immediately, fleeing from the extra touch. The heat of another person''s warmth turned my insides upside down. I was still reeling from this morning''s bedtime embrace with Grant, and I hated any contact with strangers, especially those my heart considered enemies. No matter how nice and friendly they seemed at first glance.


    ¡°No need. Thanks for breakfast.¡±


    ¡°Well, since it''s not a big emergency, I''m going to do some weeding. Look for me in the greenhouse if you need me.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Midi. It was delicious,¡± Grant smiled warmly at the woman and watched her until she disappeared behind the garden door.


    ¡°She''s kind.¡±


    It was the first time I had seen the president''s son in such a complacent mood since I had met him. He treated the housekeeper better than my father had treated me.


    ¡°Yes, Midi had been in the house since before I was born. She started out helping my mother with the household, but after Mum died she stayed on to raise me,¡± Grant''s eyes flickered with a haze of memory, but he shook his head and grinned, shaking off the nostalgia. ¡°Her ultimate dream is to see me get married and settle down. She said she would haunt me as an angry ghost even after she died if I didn''t give her a chance to look after my children.¡±


    ¡°Why are you telling me this?¡±


    ¡°I''m warning you,¡± Circul didn''t take his eyes off me. ¡°Don''t be swayed by her whims. She''ll make you think I''m the favourable groom in the world, and she won''t stop until she sees you in your wedding dress or the wedding ring on my finger.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°She seems to like you. She''ll ship us until her last breath. But don''t you dare hurt her. Not even a word.¡±


    ¡°I won''t assault other people if they don''t assault me.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± Grant was satisfied with my answer. The guy yawned, put his fork and knife down on his plate and stood up. ¡°Time to think about lunch. If Midi said we wouldn''t get food until we cleaned up, then we wouldn''t really get food until we cleaned up everywhere.¡±


    With a sigh I stared at the mountain of dirty plates, a couple of frying pans and the pot in which the ill-fated dumplings had been cooked.


    Grant came a little closer to me, looked around the front of the work as well, and when he caught my eye, he smiled venomously, ¡°Don''t want me to touch you?¡±


    He raised his hand, his fingertips almost touching my neck, which was bound by the collar. I jerked back, nearly tripping over the chain.


    ¡°What are you trying to do? You want me to redesign your nose?¡±


    ¡°Nope,¡± he grinned even wider and said with hidden amusement in his voice, ¡°Then you do the dishes.¡±


    I had to agree. But I didn''t deny myself the pleasure of splashing the guy next to me, who was concentrating on wiping the plates dry.


    As the last drop dripped from his fringe onto his nose, he closed the tap with the palm of his hand and turned the cold spray on me without warning. As soon as I spat out the water I''d swallowed at the suddenness of it, he laughed with boyish directness.


    ¡°That''s it, Grant Circul, you are so dead...¡±


    I grabbed the bottle of detergent from the sink, squeezed the plastic, and the green sludge splashed through the man''s hair and onto his eyelashes. He slapped his palm across his forehead, caught the liquid and used the same hand to wipe my face.


    ¡°Ouch, it burns!¡±


    The soap stung our eyes and made us want to cry. When Midi heard us screaming, she burst into the kitchen, hit us with a towel and sent us off to wash and change. For the rest of the day we decided not to show our faces to her, so we sat in the library with red, swollen eyelids, afraid we''d be deprived of dinner as well, since we hadn''t been served lunch as punishment.

 Rules of Survivaccommodation pt 2

    Paper airplanes were sadly decorating the carpet. They were right where I''d left them yesterday.


    ¡°The book needs to be fixed,¡± Grant said sternly.


    ¡°Why don''t we just forget about it?¡±


    My enemy number two shook his head. ¡°It''s my father''s favourite compendium.¡±


    It was with difficulty that I suppressed the desire to burn or drown the book. My mind told me that the president would punish me severely for what he loved. But my heart thirsted for revenge, and torn between these two emotions, I rushed to attack the nearest object of my hatred. ¡°Couldn''t you have said that before? When I was tearing up the book yesterday, why didn''t you stop me?¡±


    ¡°I wanted to see where your shamelessness and imagination would take you.¡±


    I exhaled slowly, begging myself to calm down. My tongue itched and I hadn''t felt the need to curse so much in a long time. ¡°All right. Where''s the iron?¡±


    I was carefully smoothing out the third sheet, which had been a former airplane, when Grant put aside the tape he''d used to reattach the pages. ¡°I think we need to write rules for accommodation.¡±


    ¡°You mean the rules of survival?¡±


    ¡°Ha ha, very funny,¡± he said, looking at me reproachfully.


    ¡°Okay, okay, good idea.¡±


    I grabbed a pen, pulled a white sheet of paper out of a desk drawer and wrote the headline ¡®Siri and Grant''s Rules of Survivaccommodation¡¯.


    ¡°What terrible handwriting you have,¡± he muttered in my ear, snatched the pen away from me and wrote the same thing under my headline, only much prettier.


    ¡°And yours is like a girl''s,¡± I looked at the almost calligraphic scribbles with disgust. ¡°No, even girls don''t write that elegantly.¡±


    ¡°You can tell a lot about a person by their handwriting,¡± Grant said thoughtfully as he stared at my scrawl.


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    I felt uncomfortable, so I hurried to distract him.


    ¡°First rule! Don''t spend more than fifteen minutes in the bathroom.¡±


    Circul nodded and obediently wrote ¡®Rule#1¡¯.


    ¡°Don''t kick people out of bed,¡± the guy said next.


    I looked at him with a smirk. ¡°Let''s just say, ¡®Don''t touch each other under any circumstances.¡±


    Grant gazed at me with an equally grim smile. ¡°I see you have a problem with tactile communication. Haptophobia?¡±


    ¡°No. I just hate it when people violate my personal boundaries.¡±


    ¡°All right. The third rule is ¡®an eye for an eye¡¯.¡±


    I raised an eyebrow. I was beginning to like our ¡®business relationship¡¯.


    ¡°Better ¡®two eyes for an eye and a whole jaw for a knocked out tooth¡¯.¡±


    What do you mean?" he wondered.


    ¡°Double the punishment-revenge. If I call you a dirty name, you can pour shame on me; if you push me out of my chair, I will throw you down the stairs.¡±


    ¡°Hmmm... what if I, like, cut your hair off?¡±


    ¡°I''ll cut off your fingers,¡± I looked at the laugh lines in the corners of his eyes. ¡°And shave off your eyebrows.¡±


    ¡°Eat your portion of food?¡±


    ¡°I''ll put ten spoonfuls of salt in.¡±


    ¡°Don''t let you go to the toilet on time?¡± said Grant with amusement.


    I examined my fingernails with the expression of a hereditary aristocrat in her old age. ¡°You''ll wake up with your face in a bowl.¡±


    ¡°Kiss you?¡±


    ¡°Rape you,¡± And I choked on my words as I realised what I''d just said. ¡°Or rather castrate you, perform circumcision according to ancient traditions. Without anaesthetic and antiseptics.¡±


    ¡°You''re scary when you''re angry,¡± he laughed softly in response.


    ¡°Write,¡± I turned away, trying to hide the blush on my cheeks, embarrassed at the stupidity of what I''d just said.


    Almost until sundown, we restored the president''s favourite medical anthology, adding new items to our list of survival rules along the way.


    The last ray of sunlight licked the carpet and I rubbed my bare feet together. It was getting colder outside, and even Grant''s oversized black socks, which he''d kindly lent me, didn''t help against the biting draught that blew across the floor.


    I berated myself in my thoughts for the umpteenth time for tearing up almost half a book. Punishment always comes for every deed. Whether good or bad.


    I sighed mentally and accepted the consequences. At least Grant was doing all the hard work; I wouldn''t have had the patience or the neatness to tape the scraps of pages together.


    ¡°This really needs to be photographed.¡±


    A flash.  Before we realised anything, Midi was on the threshold of the library, looking satisfied as she turned to us.


    ¡°Come down to the dining room in ten minutes. The pie is almost ready,¡± she gave us another smile. ¡°It''s a pity I can''t show these pictures to the president, otherwise he''ll think I''m mocking you. You look like you''ve been crying for three days.¡±


    We turned our backs on the jolly housekeeper in unison. I had no strength to speak, my stomach was cramped with hunger and it hurt to look at the world.


    Who''d have thought that we''d both become allergic to dishwashing liquid all over our faces and eyes?

 21. Midnight talks chase away nightmares

    ¡°Grant, please, let''s sleep in the other room.¡±


    I froze on the threshold, clutching the pillow in my hands, no chain could drag me back into the bedroom.


    ¡°Siri, I told you, let''s try this. I don''t want to change the bed, it''s my favourite.¡±


    ¡°I''ve also mentioned before that I can''t sleep in the same place more than once in a row...¡±


    I didn''t even get a chance to finish the sentence, the guy just threw the chain on the floor, turned around and fell back on the bed, wrapped up in the blanket.


    ¡°I don''t care. Either you sleep in this room or you don''t sleep at all,¡± he said in a low voice.


    The lights went out and I was still standing at the door. The moon made a white trail across the floor. The wind blew outside the window, the trees rustled, but the house was silent, just the sound of Circul¡¯s breathing barely touching my ears.


    I crumpled in place, my legs feeling stiff. Finally I sighed and jogged to my side of the bed. The sheets were cold, but I tucked the blanket under my back. The chill from the hordes of goosebumps quickly passed.


    I looked at the black top of Grant''s head, at the ear poking out from under his hair. Crawled closer and blew lightly on his lobe. The boy stirred, mumbled something incoherent, and unconsciously raised his hand as if to swat away a mosquito.


    I laughed silently and returned to my side, encouraged by my little prank.


    Just like that, with a smile on my face, I closed my eyes and breathed out.


    And woke up choking on tears.


    ¡°Siri, get back to reality!¡± Grant whipped the corner of the blanket across my face.


    I threw my palm forward, stopping the guy, and only then was I able to open my swollen eyelids.  My lungs lumped, the oxygen in my blood rebelled, and instead of words, wheezes came out of my mouth.


    ¡°I need to get out of here...¡± I finally managed to whisper with naughty lips and pointed my finger at the door.


    The guy realised immediately, scooped me up in his arms and pulled me off the bed. I felt better in the corridor, and I sank to the floor, leaning against the wall, my body still shaking from the nightmare.


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    ¡°Thank you,¡± after five minutes I turned my head towards Circul, who was sitting next to me, his forehead resting on his knees.


    He looked up at me with eyes as red from allergies as mine.


    ¡°Does this happen to you a lot?¡±


    I shrugged uncertainly, at a loss for an answer myself. ¡°Only when I sleep more than once in the same place?¡±


    ¡°Okay, let''s find another bed,¡± Grant stood up and held out his hand to help me up. ¡°And by the way, that doesn''t count,¡± he nodded at the touch.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. In emergencies, rules can be waived,¡± I smiled slightly, still reeling from the bad dream.¡±


    We walked a short distance down the corridor to the spare bedroom. We took clean sheets from the cupboard and put them on, the hardest part was the duvet. I refused to go back for our old ones because any reminder of Grant''s bedroom made me breathless again, so we had to accept that we''d have to sleep under the same blanket.


    ¡°Can you leave the lights on?¡±


    Circul''s hand froze in mid-air, not touching the switch. The guy came back to the bed, fluffed up his pillow and turned towards me, half lying down with his arm bent at the elbow and his head resting on it.


    ¡°How long have you had it?¡±


    ¡°It started some time after my mum died.¡±


    ¡°Sorry for your loss.¡±


    I shook my head, I had been told these words so many times that they had lost all meaning and value to me.


    ¡°You''ve never slept in the same place since?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I usually rented hotel rooms or took a sleeping bag and slept on any flat surface in the house.¡±


    ¡°Well, I don''t envy you...¡± he smiled sadly


    My heart had already calmed down; I relaxed, leaned back on the pillows and was able to laugh at my fate again.


    ¡°You know, sometimes I even liked this life. Usually people can''t sleep in a new place, but I can. Besides, I recently found a place where I could sleep as much as I wanted without leaving the house.¡±


    ¡°Umm? What kind of place?¡± Grant''s sleep seemed to have left him too, so he didn''t mind chatting.


    ¡°Virtul. I used to go to bed in the gazebo in our garden, put on my lenses and log into the game. Di and I would pick a place on the map and go there. That way we saw new places every day, travelled around and I could sleep well. I don''t know how it worked, but my consciousness was deceived, so there were no more problems.¡±


    ¡°Di?¡±


    I smiled for real now, so happy to be able to tell someone about my little girl. ¡°My daughter in the game. My husband and I once rescued a girl in the mountains. She had an unusual appearance, ears like those of a Neko, but she acted like a normal three-year-old child. It was only a few days later that I realised she was an NPC. We adopted her and she lived with us ever since¡­¡±


    I talked for a long time and Grant listened almost without interruption. Sometimes he asked questions, and a few times he even told me funny stories from his virtual life.


    And as the birds sang outside the window, heralding the dawn, we decided to get at least some sleep. I lay on my back, staring at the wall, watching the morning rays break through the lace of the curtains, playing with shadow and light on the wallpaper.


    The talk of my beloved world made my heart pound and it could not calm, for the first time in the last few days my blood buzzed with joy, preventing my consciousness from falling asleep.


    ¡°Grant?¡± I called softly, afraid to wake him if he was sleeping.


    ¡°What?¡± he replied, half asleep.


    ¡°Can you please... use your magic on me?¡±


    I was understood without explaining myself. A cool calm flowed through my veins, the smile on my lips faded a little, but didn''t disappear completely, and I yawned. There was no second yawn.

 22. Fourteen steps

    We had as much fun as possible. We fought five times a day to break the boredom.


    But as soon as I got too excited, Grant immediately suppressed all my impulses and laughed at me for a long time afterwards, enjoying my quiet rage.


    He was able to drown out the heat of my rage beneath the crust of ice that shrouded every one of my emotions in a frosty haze.


    In the mornings, after breakfast, we''d go to the library and Circul would bury himself in books on graphology, which turned out to be his secret passion. He even wrote a year-long research paper on handwriting.


    Although there was a field exercise at his academy in the spring, he said that for some reason he couldn''t go, so he came home to the capital, where he met me at his birthday party.


    In addition to his work on handwriting, he read many books on psychology and magic.


    I kept up with him sometimes too, but I didn''t write paragraphs in my notebook, I quoted the lines I liked out loud. Although my repertoire was mostly the flat humour of cheap women''s fiction ¨C yes, yes, I had persuaded Midi to sponsor me with romantic ¡®booze¡¯.


    My enthusiastic readings of the most ridiculous passages only annoyed Grant, and I loved to drive him mad with my comments on almost every action of the heroine, while berating the behaviour of the male protagonist.


    I ran my fingers over the smooth cover and opened the weighty volume with its beautiful backgrounds in the margins and behind the text with a sense of awe.


    This story always gave me goose bumps, a crazy smile on my face and tears in almost every chapter. No matter how many times I read it, I couldn''t get enough. It was as if each time I tasted the ever-sweet ambrosia, but after a moment, when I closed the book, I forgot the taste and longed to feel the sweetness of bitterness on my tongue again.


    I sobbed with laughter and buried my nose in the sofa cushion.


    ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± Circul tore his eyes from the endlessly boring book.


    There was a flame in his black eyes, in which the thought ¡®whether I should kill you right now or listen to what nonsense you will pour into my long-suffering ears¡¯ was so clearly readable.


    I laughed enough and then sat up straight. I cleared my throat and began to read aloud with a serious look on my face. ¡°So... ¡®but even more unfortunately, he happened to be Lan WangJi!¡¯ ¡­ here. ¡®This was one of the people who had fought with him before, so he should retreat quickly. He was in a hurry to find a mount, as he passed a courtyard and saw a big millstone inside. A donkey was tied to the handle, chewing on its mouth. When it saw him run over rashly, it seemed like it was surprised, and eyed him sideways as if it was a real person. Wei WuXian made eye contact with him for one second, and was immediately touched by the minuscule amount of contempt in its eyes¡­¡±


    I dropped the book, shaking with another fit of laughter, and imagined in colour the donkey who would be named Little Apple and travel with the main characters. Grant smiled faintly.


    ¡°Little Apple had a difficult life after meeting Wei WuXian, but I think he found a true friend despite all the trials. Fairy, even though she was a spiritual dog, I believe she bonded with him. And the rabbits in Gusu also brightened up his existence¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I felt numb as I realised. ¡°Have you also read this novel?¡±


    I was given an arrogant ¡®donkey¡¯ look of utter contempt.


    ¡°D-did you r-really r-read it?¡± I stumbled over every word. I was so moved.


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    ¡°Why are you so surprised?¡±


    ¡°I''m overwhelmed. My cacti and needles are all mixed up in my head, I can''t imagine you reading this.¡±


    Circul Jr. hummed. I put my fists to my lips and let out a squeaky breath, ¡°Wheeeeee!¡±


    I had butterflies in my stomach. I met someone who was reading my favourite book ¨C isn''t that something to be happy about?


    ¡°What do you think?¡± I leaned forward to decipher every emotion on his face. ¡°Did you like it? Whose death saddened you the most? Favourite moment? Did you immediately understand how Lan Zhan recognised Yiling Patriarch?¡±


    Grant grinned, looked at me squeamishly and commented on my wild reaction: ¡°Pathetic.¡±


    I squealed with delight when I heard one of WangJi''s favourite words. I felt sick in a good way. Hugged the sofa cushion.


    ¡°Say anything else?¡±


    ¡°Extremely pathetic.¡±


    That was it. I was ready to be carried out. With my feet first. And no cultivator could rest my elated spirit.


    ¡°You made my day, you know?¡±


    ¡°Mnn.¡±


    I almost cried. It felt good to meet someone I could talk to about a part of my world. Fireworks hissed in my head.


    After Virtul, fantasy books came second for me. There were rarely moments in my life when I enjoyed a miserable existence in reality, more often I escaped into fictional universes, be it Virtul or foreign novels.


    This time Grant didn''t rush to suppress my emotions; he let me vent my feelings and only then looked away to turn the page of his book.


    ¡°What''s your reading?¡±


    To my surprise, the guy responded eagerly, ¡°How to Kill the Urge to Kill. Volume Two. How to love the people around you.¡±


    ¡°And the book? Interesting?¡±


    He shrugged and turned the page again. ¡°Did you know that there are fourteen steps from hatred to love?¡±


    ¡°I''ve heard it said that it''s only a step from hate to love.¡±


    Grant grinned, threw the book back on the coffee table and relaxed on the couch, staring at the ceiling. ¡°The author writes that he carried out a study in which he identified the approximate stages that people go through in a relationship. The steps can vary, some are skipped, some are repeated several times, but in general there are seven steps from hatred to affection and the same number of steps from affection to love.¡±


    ¡°Hmm, I don''t want to seem sceptical, but that sounds like nonsense.¡±


    ¡°Wei WuXian with Lan WangJi had gone through most of these stages.¡±


    ¡°And what are they?¡±


    ¡°Hate, contrived indifference, bystander observation, rejection, regret, cruelty, resentment, pity, desire, reflection on mistakes, devotion, care, recognition and acceptance.¡±


    I replayed his words in my head a few times. Almost everything matched, though not in the exact order.


    ¡°But they''re just fictional characters. It''s not like that in real life.¡±


    Circul looked at me earnestly, an unshakable belief in his own words shining in his eyes. ¡°My parents went through all of these stages.¡±


    ¡°Did Wemily Circul hate your father? And why am I not surprised?¡±


    Grant turned away, hiding his expression, and spoke quietly, ¡°No. It was the opposite.¡±


    ¡°But how? Is it possible to have negative feelings towards ¡®the Lady with a Blazing Heart¡¯?  She''s like a saint.¡±


    ¡°Anyway, the book is right. There are such steps in life,¡± Grant said wistfully and stretched. The guy got up from the sofa, indicating that the conversation was over.


    ¡°Well, in our case there''s no danger of that,¡± I put the book down, too. The aromatic spices wafted from the kitchen, making my tongue drool. Midi was a divine cook, so when it was time to eat, my feet were eager to get to the food.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    I turned to him and said with the most honest grin I could muster, ¡°I don''t hate you, Grant, I hate your father. I''m politely indifferent to you.¡±


    The corners of his lips lifted slightly, but the dimple in his chin from the smile didn''t show.


    ¡°I''m glad to hear that. If I had the chance to fall in love with you, I wouldn''t hesitate to move ten metres away from you,¡± he nodded at my collar.¡±


    ¡°It''s nice to know that our thoughts are the same on this.¡±


    He stepped closer and, staring into my eyes, whispered seductively, ¡°Yes. So don''t you dare ever fall in love with me.¡±


    I chuckled in his face. ¡°Grant, there''s something you don''t know. The day they put this bomb on me, I was going to die. I''m not afraid of death, I''ve been ready for it for a long time. But don''t worry, I''ll never love you. I don''t have the heart for it.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± he frowned. ¡°So you put that collar on voluntarily? You wanted to be a suicide bomber?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I couldn''t hide the sour face. ¡°I should be dead, but I''m here. It''s a crazy bullshit story, and I don''t want to talk about it now. But your father knows I didn''t do it. Otherwise he wouldn''t have let me stay with you without supervision.¡±


    ¡°Why did you want to die?¡± he asked sympathetically.


    But I chose not to answer, picked up the chain from the floor and dragged the guy towards the dining room.


    I didn''t want Grant to know why. To know how miserable my life was without Virtul. To pity me, if he had room in his heart for that feeling.


    I didn''t need him to feel sorry for me at all.

 23. Disgraceful shame or how to break the psyche of Grant Circul

    After dinner, we would usually gather in the living room and play cards with Midi for chores. In such a big house there was always something to do: washing the windows, vacuuming the carpets, watering the flowers, mowing the lawn or laundering curtains.


    I don''t know what devilish way Midea managed to make us work, but not a day went by without her winning smile as she towered over us in a posture of observation while we did all the dirty work for her.


    Just kidding, of course, the reason we obediently followed her instructions when we lost at games was trivially simple. She refused to cook for us unless we cleaned the house. And after three meals of sandwiches, we begged her to come back into the kitchen.


    When we weren''t playing Durak, we had a chess or draughts championship.


    The housekeeper also taught us to play Go, but after a few moves Grant and I argued, proving that our opponent had broken the rules. Midi laughed, found a corresponding pattern in the book and we fell silent in shame, but only until the next argument. It could go on indefinitely.


    In the evenings we would listen to the old radio, eat sunflower seeds or watch films on the phone when the internet came along. Each time the net appeared, it was like a breath of fresh air. Accustomed to living in a consumer culture, we were addicted to information.


    But the few snippets of news we managed to read were disappointing. There were protests all over the country, people quitting their jobs, fleeing to a neighbouring realm and demanding the return of Virtul. There have been several assassination attempts on Risor Circul and some high-ranking officials, so far unsuccessful.


    ¡°Stop looking so glum, Grant,¡± Midi patted the president''s son on the shoulder. ¡°It takes a lot of time to expect trouble, to wait for trouble, and to have trouble, and as a result, your whole life. You''re too young, stop frowning, you''ll get wrinkles before you know it.¡±


    For as long as I had known her, the housekeeper had never indulged in anxiety.


    ¡°All right, I''ll go to the security post, the food''s just arrived. You two clean up in here.¡±


    And humming a happy song, she disappeared behind the door into the garden.


    I stared at the mountain of crockery; Grant also looked around at the unwashed porcelain groves, then turned a thoughtful glance to me. I rushed to suggest.


    ¡°How about a game?¡± I passed the cards from one hand to the other. ¡°The winner doesn''t wash anything.¡±


    The guy smiled favourably. ¡°I heard that Midi ordered ice cream today.¡±


    ¡°What are you trying to say?¡± A bad feeling crept into my heart.


    ¡°The winner takes all.¡±


    ¡°Sure you can win? Want to skip the dishes and eat all the ice cream by yourself, slyboots?¡±


    ¡°So? Are you going to risk it?¡± Grant challenged me.


    ¡°I will deal the cards.¡±


    Heaven seems to have stopped loving me completely. The alarm bells had gone off when, instead of dying, I''d been caught up in an incomprehensible scam involving a bomb and the president''s family. Today, the last drops of my luck had run out.


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    ¡°I won!¡±


    Grant was just painful to look at, his dazzling smile cutting through my heart.


    ¡°......¡± Silence was the only thing I could come up with in this situation.


    While I furiously soaped the plates and pans until they squeaked, Circul walked around, jingling a chain, looking in drawers and rearranging spice jars.


    His next opening ended in disaster. The door of the top cupboard fell off, kissing the corner of the chopping table, the toe of his slipper and the long-suffering tile, the latter still reeling from the flying saucers I''d accidentally dropped last time.


    ¡°Midi will kill us.¡±


    ¡°We need to fix it,¡± Grant has always been an optimist.


    I had to follow the guy into the back room, where we struggled to find a toolbox.


    Circul spent about five minutes trying to figure out how to get the cabinet back to its former state, but the hinges would not budge.


    ¡°I thought all boys knew how to hammer nails.¡±


    ¡°I thought all girls knew how to cook,¡± Grant responded irritably.


    Yeah, stereotypes bloomed in our hearts.


    ¡°Okay, give me that.¡±


    I took a very thin, barely visible nail, aimed and nailed the door to the bottom of the cupboard; the top of the kitchen unit suffered the same fate. Now it couldn''t be opened at all. It was nailed shut.


    ¡°I hope Midi doesn''t need the stuff in this cupboard any time soon. But you owe me half an ice-cream.¡±


    ¡°We agreed that I would get all the ice cream¡­¡±


    ¡°That was before I had to go on a crime spree and mangle the poor furniture instead of you.¡±


    ¡°Fine, Siri. Good, I''ll do the rest of the dishes.¡±


    I almost liked this life, where the biggest problem was not to be caught by Midi when she discovered our mischief.


    I even learned to ignore Grant''s singing as I sat by the bathroom door. Suffered and endured, counting the minutes to the end of my captivity, thinking of ways to kill the president.


    And when I was in the shower, Circul Junior was always grumbling at me and nagging me to do things faster. Sometimes he had no sense of tolerance, just a big egoist. Although, I have to admit, I was no better.


    I rarely cared about the feelings of the person next to me. Especially when, in the middle of the night, I suddenly needed a drink of water or to go to the toilet. I had to wake Grant. Eventually he put the water jug on the bedside table near me and told me not to drink too much water at night, so that I wouldn''t disturb his sacred sleep with such ¡®silly things¡¯.


    A few times, of course, I''ve pushed this ¡®little delicate flower¡¯ off the bed. When, unknowingly or knowingly, who knows, he''d put his grasping hand on my territory ¡®with a heightened military situation¡¯.


    But there was nothing we enjoyed more than puzzling each other. Watching Circul''s reactions as he sometimes went mad at what I said or did was the most wonderful entertainment in the world.


    So our daily routine went on until one morning I woke up and realised that there were seventy-eight days left until the end of the three-month term.


    I stretched, smiling as I realised I didn''t have to rush into anything. After I''d decided to die, my life had been surprisingly unhurried. I turned to a stunned Grant. With a mixture of horror and confusion, he stared at his fingers.


    ¡°Blood?¡±


    A sudden pain in my lower abdomen knocked me out of my pleasant morning mood. Circul lowered his eyes to the red stain on the sheets and I swallowed and wrapped myself in the blanket.


    I peered out from under my pillow, cautiously. The world had ended in my head as I watched the man''s silent hysteria.


    It was the greatest disgrace in the history of shame.


    Oh heavens, why have I been so punished? Where, holy dumplings, did I go wrong and now I have to suffer here?


    ¡°Wh-what the hell is this?¡± Grant pulled the blanket away from me and gave me a startled look.


    ¡°It''s... well, it''s something that all women have...¡±


    Circul has finally got it.


    And that awkward moment when everyone is awkward.


    Grant swallowed hard, not knowing where to look, and I, blushing and burning with shame, shouted across the house, ¡°Midi, I need your help!¡±


    And in my mind, to escape reality, the cockroaches in my head were singing a soothing song:


    ? I''ll walk sadly off into the sunset. ?


    ? I''ll buy a raccoon, I''ll buy a scooter. ?


    ? I''ll go crazy, find a hoard ?


    ? And live happily ever after ?


    ? Live happily ever after~ ?


    ? Just like wine grapes ?


    ? Yeah, just like wine grapes¡­ ?

 24. He had to live

    ¡°Siri, all things come to an end. Stop thinking about the past,¡± Grant sighed tiredly and put his hands behind his back. ¡°Come in.¡±


    My eyes were already blurry from exhaustion. We''d decided to spend the whole day doing spy stuff, forging each other''s handwriting and then comparing it to find our own, so I was barely on my feet. But I was still standing, so it felt like if I moved, I''d fall, losing ground to gravity.


    But an attack of morning confusion decided to give me an encore, and as soon as I looked up at the bed, my throat tightened with embarrassment and shame.


    ¡°Why don''t we go to the children''s room? There''s a bunk bed there.¡±


    ¡°Midi has already made our bed in this bedroom, she''ll kill us if we move the sheets and ruin the fruits of her labour. See how the corners of the pillows are perfectly aligned? She''s doing that for you, she made them upside down for me.¡±


    I mentally appreciated the housekeeper''s concern and thanked her for all she had done for me over the past few days, but no amount of coaxing could bring me back to sleep in the possible embrace of Circul.


    He''d been talking nonstop this morning, even though he looked dazed, and he was doing his best to pull me out of my thoughts, which only made me feel worse. The more he tried to defuse the situation between us, the more awkward it became.


    ¡°I am too embarrassed to sleep in the same bed as you right now.¡±


    ¡°It''s me who should be embarrassed,¡± Grant muttered.


    He didn''t wait any longer, and he lifted me up in his arms, dragged me into the room, and threw me down on the bedspread. The impact echoed painfully in my lower abdomen.


    ¡°Ouch!¡±


    ¡°Does it hurt?¡± the guy moved forward worriedly.


    I gave him a wild ¡®where are you going in my personal space¡¯ look, Circul immediately grinned and said dismissively, ¡°But why should I care about you? You''re nothing to me, I''m nothing to you, we''re from completely different food chains and we''d never have crossed paths if it wasn''t for the collar around your neck.¡±


    That was the most apt syllogism of the day. I preferred Grant like that. His cold stare, the way he didn''t even allow himself to think about other people''s feelings, disgusted me, which was just as well. I immediately stopped worrying about his opinion of me and breathed a sigh of relief.


    And I would be immensely glad if these arrogant notes in his voice sounded all the time, instead of occasionally being interrupted by an unconscious stream of sympathy and empathy for me.


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    The moon made a path across the floor and I watched the clouds pass by, smiling for no reason. Grant snoozed under my side and it was still unusual to feel the warmth of another person, but surprisingly I didn''t have any negative feelings for him when he slept. It was only when he opened his eyes and looked at me with his stern, Circul''s gaze that a wave of hatred for him and his father rose from my heart and images of Risor''s possible death at my hand flashed through my mind.


    I liked looking at the young man when he belonged to the realm of Morpheus; there was none of the aristocratic arrogance and selfish manner of a man born with a silver spoon in his mouth.


    And when he slept, he didn''t control my emotions, he didn''t suppress my anger, he didn''t quell my heartache, he didn''t make me laugh for no reason. Sometimes I could tell when he was using his magic on me, his interference with my perception of the world was like a slight breeze. When he used more power, the breeze was cold and refreshing, and when Grant wanted to subtly lift my spirits, the air around me warmed, dispelling the aura of gloom.


    And sometimes it was only hours later, when I came to my senses, that I realised I had been mocked and my feelings played with, as if someone had ploughed through a field of ripe dandelions, pulled them up by the roots and burned them instead of enjoying the flight of the seeds. Grant was very cruel at times.


    I got out of bed noiselessly, ran to the windowsill and sat upright on the floor, my face exposed to the moonlight. I didn''t want to sleep; I was afraid that if I closed my eyes I would fall into a nightmare.


    If there was a silent horror in my life, I could interrupt it and go to a better afterlife, but if I had a terrible dream, no matter how hard I tried to escape the chains of the night''s terrors, my consciousness would not return to reality until I awoke to my own screams breaking my voice.


    So the only thing I could do, the only way I could escape both sides of the nightmare, was to surrender to death. I had already decided for myself that as soon as I was done with Risor Circul, I would bid farewell to this world. Seventy-seven days remained before the end of my life.


    It was funny, but I saw killing Circul Senior as something unrealistic, but almost accomplished. I didn''t know how I was going to kill him, but I knew I was going to do everything I could to put my soul to rest. I thought about the worst thing in my life as if I were looking forward to a summer holiday by the sea. The moment when the tickets are bought, the suitcases are packed and all that remains is to wait for the time to come.


    ¡°Not sleeping?¡±


    My back was covered with a terry cloth blanket.


    Grant sat down next to me and now we were both staring at the moon like old souls tormented by insomnia.


    I shrugged my shoulders to get rid of the plaid. I''d rather be freezing to death than be tended to by Circul right now. He reached out to give me back the warmth I''d lost, but I stopped him.


    ¡°No need. You shouldn''t bother.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± his palm hovered in the air.


    ¡°Grant, the more we talk to each other, the more attention we give each other, the more painful it will be for you to part with me later.¡±


    He smiled understandingly, ¡°Don''t worry about me.¡±


    ¡°It''s not you I''m worried about.¡±


    Circul flashed his eyes mischievously. ¡°Afraid you''ll get hurt?¡±


    ¡°No, I''m afraid that¡­¡±


    ¡®¡­eventually I''ll stop wishing for death and want to live a normal life.¡¯


    I jerked my shoulders, imagining our possible ¡®happy¡¯ future with Grant Circul.


    ¡°Forget about it. And simply realise that your supposed concern is needless. You''re just doing unnecessary work, wasting your time.¡±


    He chuckled again.


    ¡°You don''t get to decide what I do. And perhaps it is fun for me to¡­¡± he raised his fingers in quotation marks, ¡°¡­¡¯court you¡¯ like this. It gives me a perverse pleasure to mock my enemy in this way.¡±


    Funnily enough, in his mind I was far from being a close friend either.

 He had to live pt2

    ¡°I always suspected you of being a perv,¡± I said with a smirk.


    My statement made him burst out laughing. Grant lay down on the floor and put his hands under his head. ¡°Oh, you have no idea how much. I eat noodles with bread, brush my teeth three times at once, pet animals only when classical music is playing, and talk to girls by imagining them in vegetable costumes.¡±


    ¡°You don''t seem to understand the meaning of this word.¡±


    He argued back with the most serious look he could muster, ¡°Perversity comes in many forms. Everyone does it. Only to the extent of their depravity, maturity and education.¡±


    ¡°You sound like an old man with nine lives behind him.¡±


    ¡°Siri, you have no idea how wise I am sometimes.¡±


    I snorted and then laughed. Grant was so smug as he bragged. How could I be mad at him, how could I hate that guy with that mischievous smile?


    ¡®But I must ignore him. Heart, please remain indifferent, don''t get attached, don''t respond to his charms¡­¡¯


    His excessive naivety in some matters alternated with cruelty and diabolical malevolence, making my every moment with Circul full of ambiguity and intrigue.


    ¡°By the way, I still don''t know how old you are.¡±


    ¡°I''m nineteen,¡± he said, his eyes filled with pride that made me want to laugh even more.


    ¡°You''re so young. Juvenile,¡± I reached out and, without thinking of the consequences, let my fingers sink into his thick black hair. I ruffled the strands, disturbing any semblance of order on his head.


    Grant''s eyes widened, but he immediately controlled his emotions. In a sarcastic tone he said, ¡°I thought we had a rule not to touch each other.¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry, I couldn''t resist,¡± I raised my arms and crawled a few metres away. ¡°You can shave my head in return.¡±


    ¡°Cut the crap, Siri. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? I don''t have enough fun looking at you all day, and if you went bald, I''d have nightmares too.¡±


    ¡°Forget it then,¡± I relaxed, knowing that revenge wouldn''t catch up with me any time soon. ¡°I promise this will be the first and last time. I''ll never touch your hair again.¡±


    Circul pulled himself off the carpet, then sat up with a devilish grin, folded his fingers into a lock and drew them forward, cracking his knuckles. ¡°I forgive you, of course, but don''t think you''ll escape punishment so easily.¡±


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    And he jumped on me, threw me to the floor and tickled me.


    I shrieked as Grant''s fingers raked over my stomach and ribs, leaving no chance of rescue. No matter how much I struggled, no matter how much I scratched, he smirked at my attempts to free myself and explored my most sensitive places with even more fervour.


    I decided to fight fire with fire and grabbed the guy''s chest. He hovered over me, watching mockingly as I tried to elicit the slightest reaction to the tickle.


    ¡°You''re wasting your energy, I can''t feel anything.¡±


    ¡°You''re a monster. How can you not be afraid of tickling?¡±


    Grant didn''t answer, just snorted insultingly and reached for a second round.


    ¡°Okay, okay, I give up!¡± I push the guy aside and crawl towards the door, hoping that the corridor would be truce territory.


    The chain was immediately pulled sharply, preventing me from escaping.


    ¡°I am not finished yet,¡± his warm breath burned my ear, his fingers tugged violently at my hair, causing me to throw my head back. ¡°Never. Touch. My hair. Again. Do you understand me?¡±


    I nodded as best I could. On the one hand, his question sounded like a challenge, my hands itching to feel the silky softness of that black hair again, but on the other, a thought flashed through my mind.


    Could it be that he treated his hair like Lan Wangji treated the Gusu Lan Clan''s forehead ribbon? Then I''d be in big trouble.


    But I wasn''t allowed to think about this amusing idea. A shot rang out across the corridor from Grant''s official bedroom. Then another, and another.


    I flinched, but Grant''s strong embrace immediately brought me back to my senses.


    ¡°Shh,¡± Circul whispered. He helped me to my feet, silently wrapped the chain around his wrist and looked out into the corridor.


    After a few seconds, he relaxed and walked out of the guest bedroom, leading me in. A dim light shone from Grant''s room onto the carpet and a tall figure stood in the doorway. The man stepped towards us and nodded in greeting. ¡°Young master.¡±


    ¡°Lias, what happened?¡± Grant was as cool as ever as he strode into his bedroom and stopped beside the black-clad man lying there. A pool of blood was spreading from beneath the leather-gloved hand.


    I clung to the doorjamb, trying to keep my knees from shaking, refusing to go any further.


    ¡°We managed to kill nine of them on the border of the manor, three broke through from the other side,¡± green-eyed Lias reported into Circul Junior''s ear. ¡°This one snuck into your bedroom, luckily you weren''t here when we found him.¡±


    I swallowed, fighting back the nausea, the smell of blood wafting more and more into the room, making me dizzy. The four guards were wiping the fresh scarlet splatters from the bed and wardrobe, talking quietly.


    Grant had a phone call with his father, and it was the first time I''d ever seen him look so serious. Lias was comforting Midi, who came running in, clutching her heart and wailing over the poor ruined carpet.


    I leaned against the doorjamb and stared at the body of the man who had tried to kill my enemy. I didn''t feel sorry for him, but I couldn''t blame him for wanting to wipe out what the head of the country valued most ¨C what he had even made a deal with me for.


    The realisation came quietly. I watched from a distance as the bodyguards carried the body out, wrapped in a sheet. Now I understood why my neck was clenched by the bomb, why the chain glittered on the other man''s wrist. It was him ¨C Grant.


    The target of these villains was president Circul. They decided to threaten his son in order to intimidate him. Or maybe it''s an act of subtle revenge ¨C that''s also possible. There have always been plenty of nutters.


    And one thing was clear to me that night. If I wanted to kill Rizor Circul myself, if I wanted to take my revenge, I had to endure the three-month term. I had to keep Grant Circul alive.


    He had to live so that my sole purpose could be fulfilled. He had to live so that I could kill his father and finally kill myself.


    He had to live.

 25. Welcome

    ¡°Grant, why don''t you tell me where we''ve arrived?¡±


    ¡°Welcome to Asanor Manor, Siri.¡±


    ¡°What? The house of the Minister of Defence?¡± I even tripped on the stairs. ¡°Great, just from one cage to another...¡±


    He heard me, laughed at my displeasure.


    ¡°Compared to the president''s residence that you called a cage, this castle is a safe where no one can get us,¡± Circul Jr. gestured to the three metre high wall that ran around the perimeter of the ministry properties. ¡°If there''s one place in the universe where you can hide from the world, it''s here.¡±


    I shivered as I stared up at the spires of the building, the endless steps leading up to it, cutting through the pretty front lawn. There was no point in wrapping myself in Grant''s thin windbreaker he''d kindly given me; the chill of the spring evening had already seeped into my bones, and only hot cocoa could drive it out.


    As the night before had been sleepless and we had been travelling by car all day, stopping occasionally at roadside hotels for a meal, we wanted nothing more than a warm, soft mattress. We even decided to ignore the shower and fell under the covers as soon as we saw the bed.


    And even though Grant had said that the minister''s house was the most secure building in the country, there were three guards standing outside our bedroom door, and the thought of them made my skin crawl. I''d never been a fan of total control, and the grim atmosphere of Asanor''s castle only made me more annoyed.


    In the president''s suburban residence, Circul Junior and I were practically alone, apart from Midi, we were free to wander about the rooms and attics, but in this mansion we occasionally met secretaries and servants, people bowed in greeting and went about their business, observing the silence and solemn incongruity.


    The morning came with a cloudy sky and heavy rain. I stretched and was about to get out of bed, but I was pulled back, pressed against the sheet.


    ¡°You''re strangling me,¡± Grant hissed in my ear.


    I turned to meet Grant''s angry gaze as he struggled with the chain, trying to get it off his neck and arms. No matter how hard I tried to keep a straight face, I laughed as I watched the sleep-deprived, shaggy-haired Circul.


    ¡°Don''t move. How did this get wrapped up in the first place?¡± the guy grumbled, trying in vain to untangle the chain.


    Yeah, we''d tossed and turned so much that we''d almost suffocated in our embrace. I''d give anything to see the president''s face when he walked into our room and saw us all blue from lack of air.


    When I imagined this picture, I felt really bad, it was not the ¡®beautiful¡¯ death I had dreamed of. I didn''t want to die side by side with Circul Junior. If we went to the afterlife at the same time, we''d have to queue for hell next to each other? I didn''t agree to that.


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    ¡°Unhook it from the collar first, otherwise we''ll never get untied.¡±


    Grant frowned at me but obeyed, then unwound our arms and legs and, with a relieved exhale, put me back on the chain.


    ¡°Perhaps we could take the leash off at night?¡± I suggested quietly.


    ¡°Right, we''ll take it off and then you''ll suddenly want to go for a walk in your sleep and half the country will be gone, won''t it?¡±


    ¡°I''m not a sleepwalker!¡± I protested angrily.


    ¡°What if I am?¡±


    ¡°Are you sleepwalking?¡±


    ¡°No. But nobody knows when it might start.¡±


    I clenched my jaw and held back the anger that had come out of nowhere this morning. ¡°Okay, I get it. You''d rather be strangled by me.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Siri. I''d rather die at your hands than from a magic bomb. It wouldn''t be such a shame,¡± he grinned, slapped me on the nose and ran into the bathroom.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I yelled after him in indignation. I thought we''d agreed not to touch each other. My nose itched where the guy''s index finger had hit it.


    While the shower was running, I had a quick look around the room, rummaging through the cupboards and bedside tables. Nothing special, just a few towels, tissues and two water pistols. Who had put them in the shoebox was a mystery to me.


    I filled the pistols with water from the carafe, and while I waited for Grant I shot at the flowers on the wallpaper, but I soon got bored. Circul Junior''s singing almost blew my ears off.  He had an ineffable musical voice, and I wanted to howl in time with him, like a dog on a moonlit night.


    But when it was my turn to shower, I gave him a sweet opera. I remembered all the songs I had heard from my trucker neighbour, and ¨C what a tragedy ¨C while I was enjoying myself, my T-shirt slipped off the shower door and fell onto the soapy tiles. I couldn''t go to breakfast wet, could I?


    Wrapped in a spare towel, I jumped out of the bathroom with a small towel on my head and two water pistols in my hands.


    ¡°Clothes for me!¡±


    Grant turned, gave me a mocking look and adjusted the bow on his shirt collar. I pressed my elbows against my ribs, trying to hold on to the towel that was slipping away.


    ¡°Mmm-hmm, I guess I''ll have to buy it for you after all. Put it on for now,¡± he handed me the white terrycloth dressing gown he''d been wearing when he''d come out of the bathroom half an hour ago.


    I''ve never been squeamish about other people''s clothes, but this was too much.


    ¡°And how do you see it? You''re all dressed up, shirt, trousers and bow tie, and I''m in a dressing gown?¡±


    ¡°And what do you suggest?¡± he asked reluctantly.


    ¡°How about I wear the suit and you wear the dressing gown?¡±


    He silently turned me towards the bathroom and pulled a gown over my shoulders.


    I was alone again with the tiles and the dripping shower. On the one hand, my pride ate at me because I couldn''t afford to appear in public like this, but on the other hand, I looked at myself in the mirror, a girl who had no passion and no desire to live, who had been a pessimist since she was ten years old, a worthless, good-for-nothing, frustrated member of the younger generation. I shrugged and pulled the towel from my head, my hair falling in wet strands across my collarbones.


    ¡°Do you really give a shit?¡± I smiled at my reflection.


    ¡°We''ll be out in three minutes,¡± he said from the bedroom.


    ¡°Uh-huh,¡± I muttered, throwing off the dressing gown and examining my legs. It had been a while since I''d been to the beauty parlour for a pre-death polish. I looked around for a razor.


    Shaving cream was right there on the sink.


    ¡°I hope you won''t use that razor again, Grant,¡± I mumbled to myself, applying the cream generously to my ankles.


    Ten minutes later I swam out of the bathroom. My legs were shiny and smooth, my damp hair tangled and in my eyes, so I pulled up the hood and put the pistols in the pockets of my dressing gown. Now I was ready for breakfast with the president''s family.


    Circul Junior didn''t say anything, just tried not to stare at me too much to keep from laughing. We walked down the corridor to the ground floor, and that''s where the fun began.

 Welcome pt2

    ¡°Mr Grant, happy birthday!¡± a white robot came towards us, looking like an overgrown wasp, but without the antennae. ¡°I''ve been preparing a gift for you for a month, please listen...¡±


    And the servant machine sang a children''s song with sirens and clicks, stomping in time. The guy rolled his eyes, but stopped anyway, folded his arms over his chest and listened, lest he offend the robot. And insulting a robot in our sophisticated technological age was a dangerous and undesirable thing to do.


    I used to call these artificial intelligence machines ¡®robot-worshippers¡¯. There was one such developer who added some features to certain models that were very difficult to remove later, but these robots were collected and cost as much as a couple of small kingdoms on the neighbouring continent.


    If such a robot got the idea to ¡®please¡¯ its master, it would stop at nothing until it had fulfilled its purpose. Some of them could pursue a goal for years until, for example, they performed the dance of frozen chickens in front of a particular audience.


    ¡°I see you liked my gift,¡± we heard from behind us.


    I turned sharply and almost bumped into Kai Asanor''s elbow with my nose. Backed away, remembering the first and last time I''d seen him, when I''d had to wear his cloak all night.


    ¡°Did you tell him to compose this?¡± Grant asked with a smile.


    ¡°Who else would?¡± grinned Kai and walked over to hug Circul.


    Little claws clattered across the floor, making the hairs on my arms stand up.


    ¡°Oh, hey, Barg,¡± Grant crouched down to catch and squeeze the pug, who was spitting drool in all directions as he ran towards him.


    I almost knocked the young man off his feet by getting behind his back. The grey pug stepped away from the president''s son''s hands and looked at me with interest, and so much anticipation flashed in his eyes that I swallowed involuntarily, ready to grow wings and fly to the sky, just to get away from those fangs.


    Barg went at me and I ran in a circle around Grant and Kai, chased by the dog and screaming.


    ¡°He''ll just sniff you...¡± Asanor tried to reassure me.


    ¡°I''m afraid of dogs!¡± I shrieked and took a third lap around the amused couple, praying that the chain wouldn''t get tangled at the wrong moment.


    With a bark, smelling a new game, the pug pounced on my slippers.


    ¡°Not the heels!¡± squealed I and ran faster.


    Grant was choking with laughter, the dog was barking, Kai remarked melancholically, ¡°I''d look at this picture for ages.¡±


    The white iron robot immediately suggested, ¡°Sir, I can make a two-hour film for you, if you like.¡±


    ¡°No, you better catch Barg, or Siri will break Taehee''s record for running laps around our pug,¡± Kai said the last word with such tenderness that I felt sick for the second time that morning.


    The robot-worshipper laughed, ¡°As you wish.¡±


    And I was finally rescued from the slobbering jaws of the dog. The pug simply switched to the body of the mechanical servant, panting and licking the white plastic fingers that gently lifted him from the floor and carried him off into the distance.


    Relieved, I lowered the water guns I had used to shoot the dog.


    ¡°Oh, my pistols... I lost them when I was about nine years old and couldn''t find them,¡± Kai''s eyes lit up with nostalgia.


    I immediately pointed these pistols at Kai''s styled hair and said threateningly, ¡°Take me to the dining room. Hurry! I''m hungry.¡±


    Grant burst out laughing next to me, but I wasn''t amused, I actually realised why I''d been so angry all morning. I was starving.


    ¡°We can''t start breakfast until everyone''s here,¡± Asanor said with a smile, raising his hands in surrender.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°That''s the rule in our family,¡± Kai almost sang.


    ¡°I''ll starve,¡± I exhaled, hanging my head and walking back to Grant, the chain jangling pathetically on the floor following me.


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    ¡°What lovely feet... it''s been a long time since I''ve seen such lovely bare feet walking around the house. Not since my first wife died...¡± someone suddenly said from behind.


    I turned and met the cunning, dark gaze of an old man leaning on a stick.


    Immediately president Circul himself appeared from behind his shoulder, ¡°Father, I told you about Siri.¡±


    ¡°I remember, remember,¡± the old man looked at me once more with great curiosity.


    ¡°Children,¡± Rizor nodded to us and walked towards the dining room doors, which opened.


    An old man followed the president, then Kai and a tall, blond secretary with white-lensed glasses. I wanted to run after them, but Grant held my hand, ¡°Watch out for my grandfather.¡±


    ¡°What about him?¡±


    ¡°He''s a funny one. If he likes someone, he''ll ridicule them to death.¡±


    I looked at Grant and he sounded so serious. He was staring at me with his black eyes, waiting for my answer.


    ¡°Trolling, I guess it''s a family thing, huh?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it''s in the blood of all the Circuls and Asanors,¡± Grant smiled.


    All business, the president warned us, was to be discussed after breakfast. I looked sadly at the full plate of oatmeal, garnished with mint leaves and a square of butter, and grimaced inwardly. I''d never liked oatmeal. But hunger took its toll, and I had to make sandwiches with jam and chew the thick porridge.


    For the first few minutes, while everyone was silent, I stole glances at those present.


    The president sat regally at the head of the table, with grandfather and Kai to his right and Grant and me to his left. Grandpa-Asanor was a likeable figure, and if it hadn''t been for my neighbour''s warning, I''d never have thought he could have a bad temper. He crunched his nuts and poured melted chocolate over his porridge.


    ¡°Grant, how did you live in the residence?¡± asked the president suddenly.


    I stopped eating immediately, looked down at my plate and froze, afraid to even breathe.


    ¡°It was all right, father. Almost nothing terrible has happened, apart from the attempted assassination,¡± the guy replied calmly, spreading jam on his toast.


    ¡°I heard you two were fighting and crying on the second day,¡± said Kai, looking at us ironically.


    ¡°No such thing.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡± grandfather reacted at once. ¡°I have beautiful pictures of the two of you with tears in your eyes sitting in the library reading books on moral education.¡±


    ¡°Midi,¡± Grant exhaled irritably, but so quietly that only I could hear him.


    Yeah, looks like the housekeeper leaked the photo compromise after all.


    ¡°We didn''t have a fight, it''s just that Siri accidentally poured detergent over us while we were doing the dishes...¡±


    All eyes turned to me and I glared at Grant and kicked him under the table to shut him up.


    ¡°But to tell the truth, there was nothing left to wash. You''d broken all the plates before...¡± Circul Junior continued, looking at me with a wickedly gentle smile.


    ¡°If you grumbled less and helped more, there''d be more plates left alive. Besides, I wasn''t the only one who broke things. Remember the kitchen cupboard door you tore off? Who fixed it for you?¡±


    Now it was Grant''s turn to step on my foot.


    ¡°And maybe if you kicked less when you slept, my arms and legs wouldn''t hurt and nothing would fall out of them,¡± I hissed. I was angry because even oatmeal couldn''t satisfy my hunger.


    Grandfather looked at us with amusement, Kai laughed, enjoying the spectacle, and the president gazed thoughtfully ahead.


    ¡°You have no idea what a sourpuss he is,¡± I complained to the old man, finding a grateful listener in him.


    Grant blushed, embarrassed or angry, but he pinched my leg just above the knee. I kept quiet, and the topic of conversation shifted from our peaceful life together to the upcoming presidential election.


    As I understand it, the President believed that the attack on his son was due to the upcoming changes in the country. It was the end of his second term, so they wanted to force Rizor not to run for a third.


    The constitution of our state allowed for an unlimited number of elections, so the presidency was not limited in terms of time, it was the will of the people to keep the president in power or to elect a new one.


    Our last constitutional guarantor was the head of the country for twenty-seven years until he died. He was a good president, of course, he created and passed a lot of ridiculous laws, but he never closed Virtul, which was a big plus for him.


    ¡°If a civil war breaks out, you can''t leave that position,¡± Grant looked at his father, I hadn''t seen him so serious and thoughtful in a long time.


    ¡°How did you manage to make such a mess on the eve of the elections?¡± Grandpa Asanor hit the floor with his stick.


    ¡°I''m just like you, father,¡± Rizor replied laconically.


    ¡°Why did you have to close the game? You could have at least waited until the end of the year, when you wouldn''t have to worry about ratings.¡±


    The president raised a tired gaze to his father, turned it to his son and spoke with an undercurrent of sadness, ¡°There was no time to delay.¡±


    There was a moment of silence in the dining room, as if everyone was trying to work out what these words referred to.


    Why was there no time to delay? I looked at my enemy and clenched my fists under the table. I didn''t care about global problems and universal catastrophes, my world had been taken from me, and no argument or good reason could make me understand why it was necessary ¨C why it was so necessary to kill the desire to live in me.


    ¡°Mister Rizor, you have a meeting in forty minutes,¡± the secretary reminded him.


    ¡°Well,¡± the president threw his napkin on the tablecloth and stood up. ¡°Grant, go to the lab today. Let''s see if we can get the bomb off.¡±


    The guy nodded, said goodbye to his father, and went back to his scrambled eggs and onions.


    ¡°I think I''ll go too. I should at least show up at the university once in a while, it''s my last year,¡± Kai waved at us with a carefree smile. ¡°Have a nice day.¡±


    We were left alone with Grandfather in the dining room. I swallowed, uncomfortable under the eldest Asanor''s eagle-eyed gaze, Grant finishing his breakfast as if nothing had happened, his world centred on his plate, and I shivered because Grandfather''s unblinking gaze was intimidating.


    ¡°Dear, if you have a problem, all you have to do is give me a sign, and we''ll solve it quickly...¡± Asanor winked at me and stood up heavily, shuffling towards the exit, muttering to himself as he walked, ¡°She looks like her. She looks exactly like her. What''s with all the coincidences?¡±


    I gave grandfather a dazed look, then elbowed Grant. He turned to me and said with the most innocent expression, ¡°Welcome to my family, Siri.¡±

 26. Its your life now, too

    ¡°It''s not gonna work,¡± the scientist ¡®encouraged¡¯ us, and with a sigh he stepped away from the digital panel.


    It was chilly in the lab, so I hurried to put on the sweater I''d snatched from Grant.


    ¡°Keep searching,¡± the president ordered emotionlessly. ¡°If that doesn''t work, try it with the spell detonator.¡±


    ¡°We need at least another week to develop such a spell, and¡­¡±


    ¡°Don''t worry about the money,¡± Rizor grinned, looked straight at us and then disconnected.


    The image of the visor flashed a few times and then disappeared. I breathed a sigh of relief as the sight of president Circul, even through the holographic display, made me uncomfortable.


    ¡°See you next week,¡± the man in the white coat said goodbye and disappeared into the depths of the research centre.


    ¡°Let''s go home,¡± Grant yawned as he stretched and led me to the car.


    We waited until the many bodyguards had taken their places in the motorcade, and I took a bottle of water from a cooler box I''d spotted on my way into town. Still, it was good to be the president ¨C or the president''s son ¨C I had never travelled in such comfort before.


    Circul Jr also decided to quench his thirst and grabbed a can of soda.


    ¡°Grant, can I ask you something?¡±


    He looked at me suspiciously, but curiosity got the better of him, ¡°Ask.¡±


    ¡°Why do your grandfather and father have different surnames? Isn''t your grandfather your father''s biological father?¡±


    ¡°Since when are you interested in the world around you, Siri?¡± he chuckled.


    It''s just that before, I was completely indifferent to everything, even if there were questions, they didn''t stay in my head for long ¨C I was going to die soon anyway, so why fill my brain with unnecessary knowledge?


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    But he answered after a few long seconds, ¡°Those who gain Oblivion''s magic traditionally form a new clan.¡±


    ¡°Are you saying that your last name Circul was invented by the president?¡±


    Grant nodded. ¡°When I was a kid, my dad came home one day, sat down on the couch and passed out. When he woke up, he accidentally called the ghost hounds. Both his eyes have been black ever since.¡±


    My fingertips went cold, my blood froze in my veins ¨C I had heard of Oblivion magic, but the rumours were worse than the others. As if, once in a generation, a man could be given magic so powerful that he could command the souls of the living and the dead, take their minds with ease, drain an enemy with a single glance, suck their life out and cause them terrible torment in Oblivion.


    I was already regretting starting this conversation, but something else was bothering me. ¡°What about you? Do you have a chance to master this magic too?¡±


    ¡°No. My second gift has been opened. You already know about it. I can control other people''s emotions.¡±


    ¡°And what''s the first one?¡±


    ¡°I don''t want to say it. If I mention it, something bad happens. But it''s also elemental, like yours. Isn''t your gift air?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but it''s pretty weak.¡±


    Magic in our world was not valued above rubies, almost everyone had it, but few developed it. It was like the ability to read, count, draw or sing.


    If you liked practicing magic, you could go to a magical institute, but if you didn''t, you could find something else to do in life. Although there was a subject in every school called ¡®Development of Special Gifts¡¯, it was graded just like any other subject.


    ¡°I guess you didn''t do so well at school,¡± Grant smiled.


    ¡°Were you the most exemplary student?¡± I said sarcastically.


    ¡°My school is much better, it was a presidential school. Even though I didn''t study well, my knowledge is still above average.¡±


    ¡°Braggart,¡± I muttered, and turned away. The storefronts of the shopping district flashed by outside the window.


    I looked at my trainers, which were too big for me. But they were so expensive. Every piece in Circul Jr''s wardrobe was from a limited edition collection.


    ¡°Maybe we could stop by the shop?¡± I suggested timidly, wishing for a pair of normal ballet shoes or trainers.


    ¡°We can''t do it during the day, it''s too crowded, we''ll attract a lot of attention.¡±


    ¡°What about no bodyguards?¡±


    Grant looked at me like I was really stupid. ¡°Can you imagine my father letting us go anywhere without security?¡±


    I remembered how Rizor Circul had looked at his son in the hospital room, how he had stroked his hair and how interested he had been in our every move.


    ¡°Well, life is hard for the president''s son,¡± I pitied him with undisguised irony and schadenfreude.


    ¡°Get used to it. It''s your life now, too.¡±

 27. The hell that will haunt us forever

    ¡°Why do you, youngsters, stay indoors all day?¡± grumbled Circul''s grandfather, who, I asked Grant, was called Gisborne. ¡°You should go outside, stretch your bones, bask in the sunshine.¡±


    I looked at the frowning sun, playing hide-and-seek with the earth, blinking through the clouds that the wind was quickly driving south-west. I wouldn''t mind going a bit further south now either; spring was waking up lazily this year, with big ¡®I''m going to sleep for another five minutes¡¯ pauses.


    ¡°Grant, when was the last time you practised fencing?¡±


    The guy stopped at the window and smiled awkwardly, putting his palm to the back of his head, and I froze at the sight. Look at that, someone seems to have regained his sense of shame.


    ¡°Go practice!¡±


    The end of the stick was thrust at my ¡®fellow chain misfit¡¯. Grandpa slapped his grandson''s knees a few times, purely for educational purposes.


    ¡°I''m on my way,¡± Circul obediently bowed his head.


    ¡°And bring Siri with you,¡± the old man smiled so broadly that I felt sick. For the umpteenth time that day. ¡°She won''t get away from you, though. Hehehe.¡±


    And yes, it wasn''t an illusion, Gisborne was smiling like a baby genius plotting to take over the world ¨C also innocently terrifying.


    The president''s father kindly offered me a magazine of anecdotes, and I mentally shrugged ¨C why not? He winked and said it was just in case I got bored of looking at young, beautiful talents. I didn''t ask what he meant, grabbed the thick glossy edition and ran to catch up with Grant.


    I was scared of that grandfather, honestly.


    The head of the Asanor family told us to go to the park. The grass was so soft and green that I just wanted to lie down and ignore the cold.


    On the way, Grant stopped a workman restoring the right wing of the mansion and asked for a large-headed nail. There was one in the toolbox with a head the size of a nickel.


    Eventually we came to a small fenced area covered in sand and sparse weeds. I crouched by the fence and watched Grant suspiciously. With a nonchalant look, he pulled our chain, wrapped it around a metal bar and nailed the link to the ground, hitting the nail several times.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Can''t you see?¡± Grant didn''t even glance at me, he was doing some bullshit. ¡°I''m dividing up the territory. This is my part,¡± he jerked the chain at his end, ¡°this is yours,¡± he nodded at my measly few dozen centimetres.


    Divided the territory? There was no division. Someone had just appropriated more of our space.


    ¡°I think you''re cross-eyed. It''s definitely not five metres,¡± I said indignantly.


    ¡°It''s even.¡±


    ¡°No, Grant. You''ve got at least seven metres. Why do you divide the territory in such an inhumane way? Your conscience is a vague concept to you, isn''t it?¡±


    I resented him on principle. He didn''t even ask my permission for my legitimate five metres. If he had said: ¡°Siri, please, can I borrow a little of your walking comfort zone?¡± I wouldn''t have said no, I would have agreed to measure a few metres for a while.


    ¡°And you have a conscience, don''t you? I''m about to go fencing and you just sit there and do nothing.¡±


    Well, once he''d touched my tender, lazy nature, I wasn''t going to let him get away with it.


    ¡°You shouldn''t care what I do with my five metres! It''s my territory! Even if I plant cacti around it, you shouldn''t tell me what to do.¡±


    Grant sneered, crossed his arms over his chest, and gave an ultimatum, ¡°I won''t redo it. If you pull a nail out, I''ll chain you to the fence and forget to untie you.¡±


    ¡°Yes, that''s how you become a despot. First you take over a few extra links, then whole cities, countries and lives,¡± I muttered to myself, turning away so as not to look into that greedy face.


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    He heard me. ¡°Don''t be so gloomy. I''m a long way from taking over the world.¡±


    ¡°That''s true. You will be killed by the people I represent.¡±


    Grant couldn''t ignore my mocking tone. He narrowed his black eyes and said with feigned calm, ¡°Want to redivide the world? Are you sure you won''t lose what little you have?¡±


    I shrugged indifferently, naively assuming that my fake confidence would put him off, ¡°Notice that I''m not the one who just hinted at a declaration of war.¡±


    Grant gave me a devilish smile, disregarding my accusations.


    ¡°Winner takes all. Always, Siri. So be thankful I haven''t started a war, just annexed a bit of your borderland.¡±


    And he turned away, and even his back sang of his contentment. I gritted my teeth. I''d been angry with him since this morning, and he was always there, always in front of my eyes. I''d rather only look at him through a rifle scope.


    Then Circul removed the scabbard from his belt and slowly drew a wooden sword. The young man froze with both hands on the hilt, the shadow of a cloud passing over his pale face, a light breeze ruffling the black strands on his forehead. Grant drew his elbow back, bent his legs slightly, and lunged.


    The barely audible rustle of sand beneath his feet, the guy turned, another ¨C a jerk, the practised kendo technique repeated over and over. He glided smoothly, moving at the same time, as if slicing through the air, like a table knife through a piece of melted butter, effortlessly keeping his breathing steady.


    I caught myself staring shamelessly at Grant the whole time, mesmerised by his calm, ancient sword swings. The sun played with the glare on the lacquered, dark surface of the wood, making it seem unnaturally alive and smooth.


    The chain twisted obediently with each swing, kissing the ground, touching dandelion leaves, soaring to the heavens, but my part remained motionless. Surprisingly, Grant''s manoeuvres did not pull out the nail.


    I immediately turned away again, not wanting to cloud the memory of the day with the fascinating sight of the president''s son dancing with inspiration on the lawn, a ¡®stick¡¯ in hand.


    I reached for the book Asanor had lent me. Grandfather''s ¡®magazine of anecdotes¡¯ turned out to be a collection of political articles. And Gisborne laughed so hard... so hard when he read it, I thought he''d at least flicked through ¡®The Hitchhiker''s Guide to the Quasars. The Second Coming of the Mice¡¯.


    I glanced through a few pages, sighed, my eyes fixed on some boring article. The voice in my head read the lines monotonously, and my eyelids almost fell asleep. I laid my sweater on the ground and leaned back, looking sleepily at the cumulus clouds.


    When I woke up, however, the breeze seemed to have quarrelled with the south and returned to the chilly mood of the north. I stood up abruptly and immediately shoved my goose-pimpled hands into the sleeves of my windbreaker. Grant was sitting next to me, a few centimetres away, staring at the trees.


    ¡°How long have you been here, spoiling my sleep with your Circul¡¯s aura?¡±


    ¡°Ever since you started crying in your sleep. Was it so hard to accept that your rightful part of the chain had been taken away from you?¡±


    ¡°Was I really crying?¡± I looked at him to see if he was lying. I didn''t feel that I had cried.


    ¡°Just a little sobbing. Mixed in with the snoring. Creepy sounds, to be honest.¡±


    I knew he was playing with me, but I couldn''t help it; I was tempted to respond to all his provocations. It was like sewing the open wounds in my chest, the threads salty and burning, but it was better than just staring at the festering gaps where my virtual family used to be.


    Even though the game was an artificial world created by technology, magic and man''s boundless sick imagination, the feelings and memories of Virtul were just as good as the real thing. They made you feel joy, sadness, exhilaration and loss in the same way.


    ¡°I never snore. You''re having auditory hallucinations. Poor, poor Grant, soon a car with men in white coats will come and take us to a house with soft walls and yellow-pink wallpaper. But, you know, I don''t want to end up in a lunatic asylum because of you, so stop slandering me for snoring. It would never invade my sleep. I have the snoring vaccine.¡±


    He looked at me with surprise and amusement. I met his gaze with icy indifference and arrogance.


    Grant averted his eyes, reached up and immediately wrinkled his nose, dropped his right shoulder and rubbed it.


    ¡°Damn, I should have stretched...¡± Grant muttered. ¡°I''ve never been a fan of stretching. Now it looks like I''ve pulled a muscle.¡±


    ¡°Serves you right,¡± said I quietly.


    He gave me a threatening look, but instead of commenting on my words, he simply said, ¡°I''m first in the shower.¡±


    ¡°Okay. But let''s stay here a little longer. The weather''s really nice.¡±


    The cold northern winds were once again replaced by a southern forest breeze, and the sun peeked out.


    Grant lifted his head, exposing his neck to the wind.


    ¡°Who is Krile? You called for him in your sleep,¡± he finally asked.


    ¡°Don''t you know? That''s my husband in the game. I already told you about him.¡±


    ¡°Yes, except you didn''t tell me his name.¡±


    I tried to remember our conversations over the past few days. Yes, I''d mentioned my husband a few times, but I was afraid to say his name... as if I said it, the bitterness and longing that had been so far hidden would come rushing in, smearing the grief on the inside of my soul.


    ¡°Sometimes I felt so bad that the only thing that kept me from thinking of terrible things was Krile,¡± confessed I. ¡°He always had time for me and a great sense of humour, although unfortunately he didn''t always understand my irony.¡±


    Grant smiled thoughtfully at my words, looking at the dandelion buds. He seemed so innocent and airy and charming now.


    ¡°Have you ever had someone in Virtul that you became even more attached to than people in real life?¡±


    I thought Circul wouldn''t answer, he was silent for a whole minute, but still he exhaled barely audibly, ¡°Tina. She was my girlfriend in the game.¡±

 The hell that will haunt us forever pt2

    His words shocked me a little. Somehow I couldn''t imagine that such a small but rather mean guy could have a real girlfriend and love in Virtul, and all that kind of thing.


    ¡°Do you miss her?¡±


    I almost punched myself in the mouth. What kind of stupid question was that? Of course she missed her.


    But I was so sorry to see a melancholy Circul so sad that I wanted to distract him by talking to him. With stupid questions, yes.


    Grant reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and displayed a picture of a pretty blonde girl with freckles all over her face. She was standing in the middle of a meadow, holding a bouquet of flowers, wearing a light blue dress and smiling happily.


    ¡°She''s beautiful...¡± I felt the well-known female envy in my chest. I thought I was pretty, but Grant''s girl had an unearthly beauty.


    ¡°We got married on the last day I logged into the game,¡± the guy stared at the picture, admiring every feature of his favourite.


    ¡°Why does she have eyes with no pupils here?¡±


    ¡°She''s not a living person.¡±


    I almost choked on the air. ¡°So your wife is an NPC too?¡±


    Grant turned his puzzled gaze to me.


    ¡°What do you mean ¡®too¡¯? Don''t tell me that¡­¡± he didn''t finish, laughed, resting his forehead on his bent knees.


    I also laughed at the absurdity of it.


    ¡°Two idiots found each other...¡± I said philosophically. ¡°I thought I was the only one who fell in love with the embodiment of a soulless System, but no, it looks like there will soon be a whole herd of us. We''re going to sit in a circle and say: ¡°Hello, my name is Cat, I''m an avid gamer. In the game I fell in love with the Queen of the Cats, well, the one who guards the third boss on the forty-sixth level of the hall, and now we are married, we have six kittens. I start meowing at night and purring when I want to say thank you. Save my soul...¡±


    Grant burst out laughing and looked at me no longer with the boundless sadness in his eyes.


    ¡°You know, Siri, I''m kind of glad you happened to be my walking bomb.¡±


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    ¡°Yeah, you and I have the same cockroaches running around in our brains.¡±


    ¡°And that too. But imagine if this collar were to be put on a bald, pumped-up man weighing 100 kilos? And he wouldn''t even know the word Virtul.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I can already see you two sleeping in the same bed together...¡± it was my turn to laugh.


    Grant pretended to be nauseous at having to think about that. I sat there for a long time, chuckling to myself, but it was a relief to know that Circul Junior wasn''t the worst person to live with for three months. It was a good thing that the president''s son didn''t look like a bald, pumped-up, 100-kilo man either.


    We spent some time sharing our fond memories of Virtul. Talked about our favourite locations and quests. Gossiped about some of the developers, found out we were in the same faction, and gossiped about the faction elders too.


    We sat like this until the sun began to slip towards the horizon, and the day passed into the vault of memory.


    My life had never been as easy as it was now. Apart from the misunderstanding about the bomb and the destruction of an entire world, albeit a virtual one, my pastime wasn''t marred by any worries.


    I didn''t care about the future, the main concern of the day was whether there would be any treats for dinner and how long Grant would sit in the shower with his bath concert this time, ignoring our Rules of Survivaccommodation.


    My life had never been as easy as it was now ¨C yes. And so complicated at the same time. I had a bomb around my neck that could wipe out a small city and another three hundred metres of the earth''s crust, I had to think of a decent death for the president, I had to get used to life without Virtul... although I didn''t have to get used to it. In less than three months, all my problems would be over.


    And I was also worried about the guy sitting next to me, looking up at the sky and sighing. I couldn''t even think about feeling sorry for him. Even if it was only human sympathy.


    Besides, I shouldn''t have fallen in love with him.


    No love, Siri. No ¡®what if things had worked out like this?¡¯ No ¡®ifs¡¯.


    There''s only you and death. It hides, it plays chase, it amuses itself. But one day you''ll look into its eyes and say with a smile: ¡°I''ve been waiting for you.¡±


    It was all so easy. And so complicated.


    ¡°Are you hungry?¡±


    ¡°I''m starving.¡±


    ¡°Then let''s go rob the kitchen,¡± Grant got up, wrapped the chain around his wrist so it wouldn''t get in the way when he walked and wouldn''t collect the dust of the world.


    The first stars had already appeared in the sky, and I froze for a moment, remembering that there were incredible places in Virtul, especially in the mountains, where the beauty of the night scenery brought tears of admiration to my eyes.


    I often wandered under the constellations at dusk, watching the scattering of flashing and fast-flying dots on the dark screen until morning. Sometimes I even seemed to have memorised the positions of the planets, the trajectories of tailed comets and the glow of my favourite stars in the game''s universe.


    ¡°It''s so strange to remember Virtul,¡± Grant said, suddenly detached. ¡°When I was playing, I never had any desire for nostalgia, but now it turns out that so many memories are just begging to come out. And it''s a relief to let them come out.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I smiled.


    Only in Virtul did we really live, and now we had only one destiny ¨C to be lost in the past.


    The sages were right when they said that memories are a part of paradise from which no one can expel you.


    But at the same time, it is also the hell that will haunt us forever.

 28. Almost touch a dream

    ¡°Wonderful,¡± said Kai Asanor. ¡°What a wonderful night, and this centre is all to ourselves tonight.¡±


    I lifted my head, wondering how many floors there were in the mall. The spotlights on the roof loomed in the distance, almost hidden by the cloudy smog. The cool air caressed my skin, and after a warm evening it felt good to be in the invigorating atmosphere of the night capital.


    We entered the skyscraper, took the non-functioning escalator up to the endless shop windows full of expensive brands. The guards stood at the beginning and end of the corridor, allowing us to move freely around the sales floor.


    My eyes must have shone with a feverish glow as I looked at the mannequins in coats. I''ve always had a weakness for beautiful outerwear. I ran my palm over the black cashmere, walked around the pedestal, looking for the price tag.


    ¡°Don''t worry about the price. Buy what you want,¡± Grant said as he sat down on the sofa.


    I looked at the guy in wonder, but it was Asanor who replied, ¡°The prices here are so long that the zeros just don''t fit on the price tags, so they don''t even hang them up.¡±


    I glanced at the coat I liked and already felt it belonged to me. Still, it was good to be in the president''s family; all doors and things were open to Grant. The secretary hadn''t been surprised when Circul Junior had asked for a night out at the capital''s shopping mall.


    I took the cashmere coat from the mannequin and wrapped myself in it, inhaling the scent of my new purchase.


    ¡°Not a bad choice,¡± Kai agreed. ¡°Now you need dresses.¡±


    ¡°Do I have to?¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Asanor smiled and led me to the rack with the latest collection.


    We went from boutique to boutique, arguing, and with varying degrees of success, I won the right to choose what I liked. Kai snorted and rolled his eyes, telling me that I had no taste at all and that I had no colour vision either.


    We had a great debate about fashion that threatened to become a war of universal proportions. I wasn''t impressed by the beautiful but soulless clothes Asanor offered, and he was disgusted by what I chose.


    ¡°Well, you''re not the one who''s supposed to be wearing it,¡± I retorted.


    ¡°I''m supposed to be looking at this nightmare.¡±


    ¡°So don''t look. Don''t you know how to turn away?¡± I was trying on a grey blouse with orange question marks.


    ¡° Siri, do you have a conscience at all? You can''t let people see you like this. Grant, you should at least tell her¡­¡± Kai turned to his cousin.


    Grant stared at his phone, oblivious to the world. After Asanor''s third call, he deigned to look away; he glanced down at my feet, ¡°No, not that poisonous colour.¡±


    ¡°You told me to choose whatever I wanted,¡± I said slowly, squinting my eyes.


    ¡°Yes, but I don''t like the colour. I don''t want something walking around with that eye poison. Siri, have you no taste at all? You''re a girl, you should have a sense of style under your skin.¡±


    For the second time that night, I''d been humiliated by their remarks. I hung the blouse back on the rack, turned round, and exhaled angrily, ¡°I never thought I''d be told off by a guy with ten identical black T-shirts and six pairs of diarrhoea-coloured trousers in his wardrobe.¡±


    ¡°Those are very expensive mustard coloured trousers, don''t demean them with your ignorance,¡± Circul''s gaze darkened.


    I grinned and sat up straight on the floor, offended to the core.


    ¡°Grant, you''re going to buy me these trainers after all,¡± I said with pressure.


    ¡°Or what?¡± he arched an eyebrow questioningly.


    ¡°Or you''ll have to carry me in your arms all the time because my feet will bleed if I go barefoot.¡±


    The trainers I had to buy were completely different. I couldn''t find the right size in the bright green colour. But something told me that while I was distracted by the shoes, the two conspirators had hidden the trainers in the eye-poison colour I liked so much.


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    Still, I managed to buy a pair of jeans and two oversized T-shirts. The dresses were lovely, but I hadn''t worn them since high school. The only one I picked out was the one I''d wear to kill the president. Dark red, predatory, just screaming that someone was about to get the end of the world.


    ¡°Have you finished shopping? Can we put the stuff in the car now?¡± the head of security came to us.


    Kai nodded and pointed to the numerous paper bags that the two sales assistants had placed next to Grant''s sofa.


    ¡°You can take these and those, but don''t take these,¡± I fingered the packages of dresses. I knew I''d never wear them; Asanor had slipped them to me. Why bring extra rubbish home?


    ¡°No, Siri, you''re going to take exactly these things,¡± Kai spoke threateningly above my ear. I could feel his magic urging me to obey his voice.


    I turned to meet Kai''s bright gaze. His blue eyes were filled with the magic of submission.


    That''s not fair!


    ¡°You''ll take it all. And that''s not up for debate.¡±


    I nodded, obeying the hypnotic command of the minister''s son, even as my insides trembled with contradiction.


    ¡°You put the shopping in the car while Siri and I take another walk,¡± Grant finally turned off his phone and got up from the sofa. ¡°You wanted to go to the bookshop, didn''t you, Siri?¡± and he gave me such a meaningful look.


    I looked at Circul in confusion but didn''t answer, my intuition telling me that the guy had a reason for saying those words.


    The guards carried the bags down to the ground floor, Grant grabbed Asanor by the shoulder and whispered softly, ¡°Kai, security''s on you this time.¡±


    Kai lifted the corners of his lips and exhaled. ¡°Good luck,¡± he said and walked lightly towards the escalator.


    ¡°He''ll stop them. Let''s go,¡± Grant wrapped the chain around his fist, took my hand just above my wrist and pulled me in a completely different direction from the exit.


    ¡°Where are we going?¡± I managed to ask before I started running, trying to keep up with the guy.


    Our destination was definitely not a bookshop, we walked down the stairs to the car park where, to my surprise, Circul Junior opened the back of a lorry and rolled a motorbike out into the light.


    ¡°Put it on,¡± he tossed me the helmet.


    It was no use asking, Grant was in a hurry and as soon as I sat comfortably behind him with my arm around his waist, he started to ride. The bike took off, racing across the car park and onto the motorway, merging into traffic in seconds.


    Five minutes later, we stopped at an abandoned warehouse, wandered through the ruined halls and got into the lift. Circul pushed the button for the last floor, but we didn''t go up. The lift descended with a loud rattle.


    ¡°Grant, what is this place?¡±


    ¡°You''ll see soon enough. You''ll love it here.¡±


    The doors parted and we found ourselves at the entrance to a huge underground hall.


    Despite the abundance of chandeliers and sconces, the light in the room was subdued, cheerful conversations and laughter punctuated by background music in a foreign language. Wherever you looked, there were soft sofas with coffee tables, racks of game helmets and cupboards full of other equipment.


    We walked almost to the end of the basement. Grant said hello to the barman and ordered a drink, ¡°Two bottles of non-alcoholic tea.¡±


    I tried to hide my surprise and turned away abruptly, pretending to look at the company playing some kind of game. But what was it? Non-alcoholic tea? Is there another kind?


    ¡°You''ve been gone a long time,¡± said a tall, dark-haired young man with glasses on his head. ¡°I thought you''d forgotten the Hole.¡±


    Circul patted his friend on the shoulder. A friend, that''s for sure; I had never seen such a warm smile on the face of the president''s son.


    ¡°You know, I couldn''t just come here at any time,¡± said Grant.


    ¡°And I see you''ve brought a guest?¡± his friend asked a little grudgingly.


    ¡°This is Siri,¡± Grant turned me around to face the stranger. ¡°Siri, this is Sai, the local software genius.¡±


    I nodded, and then averted my eyes; for some reason I felt awkward, and I didn''t want to look at anyone. I was usually much more relaxed when I met other people.


    Glanced suspiciously at Grant, who was laughing; he seemed to want to annoy me with his magic. And I was powerless against these imposed emotions.


    ¡°She''s very modest,¡± the barman commented on my embarrassment. ¡°Grant, this is the first time I''ve seen such a pretty and quiet girl standing next to you.¡±


    The guy didn''t say anything, just picked up the tea bottles, handed me one and hurried me off to a quieter place.


    ¡°So, what are these halls underground?¡± I asked again.


    ¡°Still don''t get it?¡±


    ¡°An underground illegal gaming club?¡±


    Grant laughed as he pulled me close to him and led me deeper into the hall.


    ¡°A-a-gra-a! My win!¡±


    I glanced at the man who was overjoyed at his victory. He picked up the girl next to him and twirled her around, mumbling something about orange juice and new bets. And for some reason his voice sounded familiar, but I didn''t dwell on that thought; there were a lot of interesting things around. For example, a couple of capsules for full immersion in the virtual world. One of them was worth a dozen military submarines or two and a half spaceships.


    Staring at one of mankind''s most expensive and ingenious inventions, I didn''t want to leave ¨C on the contrary, I wanted to touch it, to stroke it, to feel myself the happiest mortal who had managed to see the miracle of magic and technology.


    Grant pointed to a room surrounded by transparent glass walls. Inside were rows of server units.


    ¡°We''ve moved all the data from Ainsoft''s servers to these.¡±


    ¡°But how?¡± I gazed at the little city of electronic information in disbelief.


    ¡°When the Parliament started talking about shutting down Virtul, we decided to do it just in case, bought mirror servers, created a cluster.¡±


    ¡°So? You mean..?¡± I didn''t believe it yet. I was afraid to even start.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Circul smiled at my stunned expression. ¡°When the main servers were destroyed, our servers were switched on, we rented satellites from the Samun Empire and the Kingdom of Rith, so yes ¨C the whole time the game was alive.¡±


    ¡°Grant, everything''s ready,¡± Sai, who had been rummaging through the helmets earlier, came over to us.


    Circul nodded and turned to me.


    ¡°Do you want to play?¡± he pointed to the virtual reality capsules.

 Almost touch a dream pt2

    I gulped with excitement, never in my wildest dreams had I wanted to play in such a marvellous machine ¨C because it was unbelievably expensive.


    ¡°Yes! I really, really, really want to play!


    Grant chuckled; he was clearly in a good mood, and even I could sense the changes in the emotions of the people around us. It seemed that Circul subconsciously affected the emotional state of other people when he was happy or overly excited.


    ¡°Remember your numeric nickname for logging into Virtul?¡± asked Grant.


    ¡°13-06-13,¡± I blurted out.


    ¡°Sai, did you hear this?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± the man with the goggles was already entering numbers into the computer. ¡°Get changed.¡±


    For a better immersion in the virtual world, special costumes were created that reflected almost all the tactile sensations that were present in real life. They cost a fortune, all because of the material, which had to be skilfully woven with technomagic spells.


    I stepped behind the curtain, still a little dazed by the realisation that I was about to meet the skies of Virtul, my fingers twitching in anticipation. Just a little while longer and I could see Krile and Di again.


    And it didn''t matter that I was only opening the wounds in my heart more, because I had already said goodbye to them, but now all I wanted was to hold them, to touch my husband''s warm cheek with my lips, to stroke Adisi''s hair, to breathe in their scent. I missed them so much, my family.


    I missed them so much. My eyes were watering and I shouldn''t be crying, but I was grateful to Grant now. He understood me, he''d brought me here, made me feel the game again.


    I reached for the buttons of my shirt, but halfway through I froze, a faint noise from outside rising sharply.


    ¡°Siri...¡±


    The chain jerked, forcing me to take a few steps forward. Grant burst into the dressing room and threw a black jacket at me.


    ¡°Put it on with the hood,¡± he whispered, unhooking the chain from my collar and wrapping it around his fist. He was already wearing the same dark jacket.


    The shouting and rumbling outside only increased, and I tucked my hair under my hood and hurriedly tied the laces on my trainers.


    ¡°Grant, what happened?¡±


    The guy put his arm around my shoulders from behind and said quietly, ¡°This hideout''s been discovered, and there''s a bunch of cops inside. There are several exits, we''ll run to the furthest one because it leads to a busy street. We mustn''t get caught, Siri,¡± for a few moments the young man squeezed my hands tighter. ¡°Otherwise my father would...¡± he muttered something unintelligible, whether it was a curse or a prayer to the heavens for salvation, but I sensed his concern.


    I turned to look at Circul Junior''s black eyes. They were now filled with fear, and he was struggling to contain it.


    ¡°Don''t leave my side.¡±


    I nodded and calmed my heart. I had my enemy beside me, so I had nothing to fear.


    We ran out into the crowd, which was also in a hurry, but disorderly. It was not easy to manoeuvre between the tables and sofas, but Grant managed to lead us to the wall and along it we were making our way to freedom.


    Men in police helmets grabbed everyone indiscriminately, some of them beating others with rubber truncheons, causing the young people ¨C all children of rich politicians and oligarchs in Unica ¨C to scream and cry, begging to be released and not to tell their parents. Although several groups of boys were fighting back, while others were rescuing portable equipment.


    ¡°A-a-gra-a! You''re not going to get me that easy!¡± shouted one of the guys I''d seen earlier today, the one who''d won the orange juice. He''d climbed up onto the bar and was running around it, fending off the cops with bottles of booze.


    Next to him I noticed a blond head. A familiar silhouette was taking record books out of a locker. Kai was supposed to be in the shop, and the bodyguards couldn''t let him go. How did he end up here?


    We were already in the middle of the hall when a big guy bumped into us. I fell to the ground and lost focus on Grant. There were all kinds of backs, but not the one I needed.


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    Silently panicking, I slowly stood up and looked around. I hoped that Circul had fallen as well as I had and was hiding behind the furniture, but I decided to run in the direction we''d chosen earlier, bearing in mind that I shouldn''t be more than ten metres away from him.


    Grant, where the hell are you?


    The second time, I tripped over someone''s foot and froze sitting as the lights went out throughout the basement. There was a moment of silence that made my chest ache with foreboding, a cold sweat ran down my temple and I slapped my cheek to calm myself.


    Over the past few days, I had become so used to not worrying or thinking about anything, to relying on Circul, who had taken it upon himself to take care of our lives, it wasn''t easy to come back to the real world.


    The brutal present greeted me with screams in the darkness, the lights on the phones and the general bustle. Only the network servers in the glass hall blinked, adding a quiet glow to the darkness.


    The collar squeezed, knocking the air out of me, and the sirens wailed nastily. I tried to stand up and walk at least a few steps to ease the pressure of the deadly ¡®necklace¡¯, but all I could do was flounder on the floor, gulping air like a stranded fish.


    Am I going to die now?


    What will happen first? Will the bomb go off? Or will I just die of lack of oxygen?


    I had been ready for death for a long time, had been looking for it for a long time. I had no regrets.


    But I didn''t want to die like that when I realised that even the last moments before death could bring pleasure. A wave of protest ran hot through my body. I didn¡¯t agree to go over the edge so easily.


    Part of me wanted to die, close my eyes and never open them again, never think about anything, never cry, never worry, never miss my ruined life.


    But the other part of my heart still wanted to beat, the air still gurgling in my lungs, the blood still coursing through my veins, demanding revenge. Even with my lashes down, I could see the black gaze of Risor Circul, announcing the closing of Virtul.


    I had never dreamed of witnessing his death before, it had never seemed possible, but now that the bomb around my neck was tied to the son of my worst enemy, when I could destroy the head of the country with my bare hands, I had no right to give up so easily.


    My revenge was only three months away, so...


    ¡®Alas, Death, if you''ve been running from me for so long, you''ll have to wait a little longer...¡¯


    I stood up abruptly and took off my jacket, the electronic light of the diodes illuminating the surroundings. My eyes went completely black as I heard the distant voice: ¡°Siri!¡±


    Grant crashed into me, hugging me less than gently, breathing heavily. I listened to his heartbeat with obsessive concentration, swallowing lumps of air, unable to stop, unable to remove my fingers from Circul''s jacket.


    The bomb stopped beeping after a few seconds and returned to its dormant state, the guy putting his shoulder to my side, and so we dragged ourselves towards the exit by feel, trying not to make any noise.


    After a very long walk through panicked, screaming teenagers and police, we finally made it to the surface. I immediately fell to the ground, glad for the cold air and to be able to breathe at all. The sky was almost bright from the many beams of the city''s floodlights and streetlights, so there were no stars to be seen.


    Grant sat down next to me, ran his fingers through his hair and stared into the bushes. It was only after a few minutes that he came out of his stupor and asked colourlessly, ¡°Are you all right?¡±


    I was anything but all right.


    ¡°Where''s the chain?¡±


    Circul looked at me and grinned: ¡°You resisted before, but now you''re asking me to put you on a chain?¡±


    ¡°We almost died just now. It was a bad idea to take it off.¡±


    Grant smirked again, there was no life in his black eyes. The guy reached into his pocket, pulled out a chain and fastened it to my collar. And then he turned his back on me and shut up, and I was too embarrassed to ask him what had happened.


    So we sat there, surrounded by darkness, wild briar bushes and the night wind, each of us thinking of our own unhappy things.


    ¡°Let''s go,¡± he said reluctantly as he stood up and helped me to my feet.


    My head was still a little dizzy from the recent choking, and I blew on my palms to warm myself. The jacket Grant had given me was on the floor of the underground hall, and now I was getting goosebumps under my thin shirt, but I was a little afraid to ask Circul for a favour, for he had a look in his eyes that said he wanted to kill left and right.


    We walked out onto a wide tourist street that, even at this early hour, was bustling with life. The night cafes were just closing and the street vendors were heating up the early breakfast menu.


    A flock of pigeons bathed in the turned-off fountain, the dawn sky reflected in the windows, and such a quiet morning invigorated the tired mind.


    But then black heels clicked on the cobblestones.


    We were immediately surrounded, this time by more security than had accompanied us to the shopping centre. Anaris Mirk, the president''s secretary, a soft-spoken young man with blond hair and white-lensed glasses, appeared. I admired him for his directness, his reserve and his cold-blooded calculation. It was rare for someone of his age to reach such heights in his career, and to do so without any nepotism.


    Next to Mirk stood a bodyguard called Lias with a grin on his face. He walked towards us with deceptive ease, nodded at Grant, winked at me and turned to take us by the elbows and lead us to the cars.


    ¡°But how did you find us?¡± the guy decided to shed some light on the question I was also asking myself.


    ¡°Young Master Grant,¡± Anaris said, as if addressing a small boy, ¡°your companion is wearing one of the worst disasters this city has ever seen. How could we let you go, knowing that the worst could happen? There''s a whole staff at the Ministry of Defence watching your every move.¡±


    ¡°Shit,¡± Circul exhaled softly and laughed weakly, losing what was left of his composure.


    ¡°I suggest you start thinking of an apology speech now. The president is in a foul mood today,¡± Lias smiled sweetly and opened the car door.


    Grant didn''t say anything, just frowned the whole way, staring out the window. I wanted to cry. For a moment there was hope of returning to Virtul, but it was stifled. But the tears didn''t come, just a cold emptiness in my heart that threatened to stay there forever.


    It''s time I got over the idea that even a miracle wouldn''t give me back my will to live.

 29. Help him

    We were not taken to Asanor''s mansion; instead, twenty minutes later, we were on our knees in the familiar office of the country''s leader, with grim expressions on our faces, awaiting the president''s punishment.


    And Rizor Circul was furious, he had heard the report of the secret place built by the ministers'' children. I smiled mentally, the Hole was like a thorn in the heart of our country''s rulers. Grant''s father and his ministers'' minions and other officials wanted to eradicate Virtul, and right under his nose his own son was trying to circumvent the ban on the virtual world.


    ¡°You have really disappointed me,¡± the man rose from his chair, looming over us like a thunderstorm over a hushed city.


    Grant threw back his head, two dark gazes meeting. The president''s anger and his son''s unspoken rage came together in the same room, neither willing to back down, each believing he was right. I immediately found it hard to breathe. The atmosphere around me grew heavy, pressing a silent negativity against my chest.


    ¡°I did what I thought was right, and you don''t get to decide what I want. You shouldn''t have closed it!¡± the guy finally blurted out. ¡°I will never forgive you for taking Virtul from me.¡±


    Grant and I were of one mind on this point. I cast an accusing glance at Rizor as well, but he gave me a disparaging look and turned his attention back to his son.


    ¡°I did it for your own good.¡±


    ¡°That''s what you all say,¡± the young man grinned, hiding his despair and helplessness behind a bitter smile. ¡°I have heard this phrase a thousand times from you, from your friends, from Nin, you use these lofty words to hide your pleasure and your desire to ruin other people''s lives. Good? All your ¡®good¡¯ has led you and your son to a worthless existence. Is this what you wanted, father?¡± Grant raised his hand, revealing a bracelet with a jingling chain. The air suddenly smelled fiery and sparks ran through his skin and hair.


    ¡°Calm down,¡± Circul grabbed his son''s shoulder. ¡°You''re not yourself. We''ll talk when you''ve cooled down and thought about your behaviour. What you''re talking about now is unfounded anger and childish resentment.¡±


    But Grant just laughed, making my stomach turn and the hairs on my arms stand up. The room went dark, even though the lights were still on, and the darkness seemed to pour out of the president''s eyes, and the heat from the guy''s body heated the room and burned away the last vestiges of restraint in me. I recoiled from a couple of mages who were losing control of their powers because of their emotions.


    Death by mad magic ¨C I would still prefer the end of a heart bursting open under the pressure of an exploding bomb.


    ¡°I understand why mum died. You gave her no choice. You stifle the happiness of everyone around you. I finally understand why everyone runs away from you, why the people you love have died. They''ve just gone where you can''t reach them!¡± Grant didn''t look like himself at all, like the spoilt boy he had been. There was nothing sweet or charming about his face now, just a terrible hatred.


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    Rizor stepped back in confusion, his hand slipping from his son''s shoulder. The Circul suppressed a flash of his horrifying magic, the anger fading into pity, but Grant laughed again, so colourless I thought for a moment his father would strike him. If only to bring him to his senses.


    He exhaled convulsively, closed his eyes and said in a low voice, ¡°You put your life and the girl''s in danger by disobeying my orders, as punishment I will show you the one you were so eager to see...¡±


    Darkness flickered at the president''s fingertips. It reached out to the young man, enveloping him in a mist. I was afraid to take a breath, lest the magic of Oblivion find a tasty victim in me as well.


    Grant twitched a few times and collapsed, kissing the carpet with his cheek. Risor dispelled the magical haze that made it tearfully pleasant to look at the electric light of the bulbs hanging from the ceiling. Light, unlike the darkness of magic, had never frightened me.


    Silently, my hated enemy lifted his son and carried him to the armchair, made his head comfortable, stroked his forehead and removed the hairs from his eyelids.


    ¡°Lie down,¡± he pointed to the sofa beside him.


    I didn''t dare make a move, staring in horror at Grant''s face contorted with pain.


    ¡°Do you need a special offer?¡± the president turned in my direction. There was still no light in his eyes; there was blackness in them.


    ¡°Will you punish me as well?¡±


    Circul Senior''s gaze grew sour. ¡°You could have stopped Grant. You didn''t have to go after him¡±.


    ¡°No, I couldn''t. You know that yourself. How would I dare? Besides, I didn''t know where he was taking me.¡±


    ¡°You shouldn''t have run away from the guards!¡± the man raised his voice. ¡°You were almost killed the day before yesterday, and we still haven''t found out who tried to do it. Every step you take could be your last, and you''re both so reckless. Grant''s still overconfident, thinks he has the world at his feet, but you''re...¡±


    ¡°You want me to keep an eye on him? Tell him where to go and where not to go? How do you imagine that?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you must restrain his impulses and keep him from dangerous pursuits,¡± Circul seemed to take his own words for granted.


    ¡°I don''t owe anything to anyone. Especially you,¡± I tried to make my voice sound as contemptuous as possible. I was amused at the thought of doing whatever my enemy wanted, whether it was a polite request or an ultimatum.


    ¡°I thought I made it clear to you when we signed the contract that you should behave sensibly. Don''t forget what''s at stake. I think my life is a fair price for you to take care of my son.¡±


    Who cares what he was thinking? I''m gonna kill him anyway.


    The president stepped towards me, hypnotising me with his gaze. The darkness stirred again, making me gasp for breath.


    ¡°Siri,¡± Circul looked at me seriously, ¡°I keep my word, but you also keep my son''s life safe. If you fail me again, I will split your soul from your body and never let you die. Do you understand me?¡±


    More than that. I wanted to scream and beg the heavens for salvation, my mind was in agony, searching for a way out and finding none, I didn''t need anything in this life, but Risor had found something to torment me with. What does a potential suicide fear more than death? To lose the opportunity to die.


    And I knew Circul was capable of such an evil act. His dark, terrible Oblivion magic could bind me to the world of the living forever and take my life at the same time.


    Although only ancient fairy tales and forgotten myths spoke of the transmigration of the soul into an object, I did not want to be a ring or a talking sword (or something worse in our high-tech magical age), fulfilling the purpose given by the creator.


    So I nodded, not wanting to make my enemy any more unhappy. Risor''s palm touched my cheek, his fingers tracing my chin.


    ¡°Help him,¡± there was no pity left in the president''s eyes, darkness covered their sclera.


    I looked away so I wouldn''t see the magic of the murk coming towards me with anticipation. The last thing I saw before the light faded was the pale face of Grant, sleeping peacefully, wandering in Oblivion.

 30. In Oblivion

    A cold drop hit my forehead, rolled down my temple and got lost in my tangled hair. I opened my eyes and stared at the grey sky peeking through the tops of the tall trees. Few but large raindrops were falling from the leaves of the maples and poplars, so I hurried to find more shelter so I wouldn''t get soaked.


    Dry branches and last year''s autumn leaves rustled under my feet as I tried to get to my feet. But the weakness from the president''s magic still lingered, so I just sat back, breathed in the fresh forest air and looked around.


    I didn''t notice Grant at first, as he was sleeping with his head against the trunk of a tree. But as soon as I crawled over to him, he lifted his eyelids and looked at me with a blank stare.


    ¡°And you''re here?¡± he asked me colourlessly, as if he didn''t want to see me at all.


    I would have been hurt by his indifference, but that wasn''t what was bothering me at the moment.


    ¡°Where are we?¡±


    ¡°In the Labyrinths of Oblivion.¡±


    I let out an involuntary sigh of horror. Still, Rizor Circul is a terrible man. He has thrown us into the underside of our own consciousness, into a magical, intangible dimension. You can''t get physically hurt here, and you can''t die, but you can go mad.


    ¡°Don''t be afraid,¡± the president''s son tried to reassure me. ¡°It''s relatively safe here.¡±


    The silence of the forest was broken by a low wolf howl.


    ¡°Most of the time,¡± he added with a grin.


    I smiled back with an ¡®I''ve got nothing to lose¡¯ look. Why should I be afraid of animals when I have a bomb around my neck? I reached for my collar, but my fingers touched nothing but emptiness. I groped around in disbelief, but the collar, like the ten-metre chain, didn''t exist in this world.


    So I can go wherever I want? The thought of not having to shadow Grant warmed my soul.


    ¡°Your father is a sadistic man. What sane person would send his child down the road to madness?¡±


    ¡°Don''t say that. Oblivion isn''t as scary as they say. And nothing has happened to me yet. I haven''t gone mad.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn''t be too sure of that if I were you.¡±


    The guy glanced at me reproachfully, but instead of mocking me, he enlightened me: ¡°My father sometimes sends me here when I lose control of my magic.¡±


    ¡°I have found out what magic you have. You don''t look like you have that kind of passion in you. Fire doesn''t suit you at all. How often do you have these bursts of uncontrollable power? What causes them? I thought magic couldn''t get out of control that easily.¡±


    ¡°Normally, it wouldn''t get out of hand. But the emergence of the second gift makes the first one rebel. Until I master the magic of emotion control, my powers won''t be able to balance each other.¡±


    ¡°I don''t envy your fate,¡± I said.


    Not everyone had a second, or even a third gift, but in all ages these people were considered special, blessed by heaven and worthy. Who knew that with this ¡®grace from heaven¡¯ came the difficulty of controlling one''s own magic.


    ¡°How long do we have to stay here?¡±


    ¡°Until I''ve used up all my magic,¡± Grant said succinctly.


    ¡°So what are we going to do?¡± I looked around for some interesting scenery, but the forest location looked pathetic, to say the least.


    ¡°We can do nothing. Last time I was here for two days,¡± said the guy in a relaxed mood.


    ¡°Is there any other option?¡± I didn''t want to die of boredom before my time.


    ¡°To try and complete one of the Labyrinths.¡±


    Well, no, that''s not what I signed up for. Looking for trouble on my own head has never been a hobby of mine.


    Unfortunately, they usually found me on their own.


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    The guy got up, rubbed his shoulder, and headed for the bushes, ignoring the wide road that led north.


    ¡°And where are you going?¡±


    I thought he  wouldn''t answer me, as the pause lengthened, but Grant turned around, lowered the branch so he could see better, gave me a sharp look with his black eyes, and with a bitter grin he said, ¡°To face my own fears, Siri. What do you fear more than anything else in the world?¡±


    With a promisingly evil chuckle, he continued on his way, leaving me to puzzle over his words. It was known that many people went mad in Oblivion. Why was that?


    If I understood Grant''s hint correctly, it was that in the Labyrinths you could come across something that caused hiccups, greying or acute heart attacks.


    I sighed, looked up at the sky where dark clouds were gathering, felt sorry for myself for a few moments, then stepped resolutely into the thicket, replaying the president''s last words in my head. I had no desire to help his son, but over the past few days I had become so accustomed to following Circul that it seemed wrong and almost impossible to leave him.


    Under a layer of last year''s sun-burnt leaves, my companion dug out a rucksack and a sleeping bag with a tent.


    I couldn''t help but ask, ¡°I see you''ve prepared?¡±


    ¡°Of course. It''s not the first time I''ve been here. You can find a lot of useful things in these lands if you know what to look for and where to look,¡± the guy untied the straps, checked that everything was in its place, then put on the rucksack and threw me a sleeping bag, a slightly damp plaid, still wet from the dew, and a heavy tent, probably made in the Middle Ages.


    I dodged the flying objects with dexterity, not even resenting the way things were going. I was used to the fact that Circul Jr didn''t usually know how to pass objects, either throwing them without warning or with a warning two moments before they hit me.


    I opened the bag with the awning, examined the wooden stakes, the shabby tarpaulin, the old crumbling ropes.


    ¡°Do we need a tent?¡±


    ¡°Of course we do, Siri. You have no idea what the weather is like out here. In five minutes there could be hail or snow, a blizzard or a sandstorm. You''ll be warmer and safer in a tent.¡±


    With a sigh I threw the tent bag over my shoulder, picked up the plaid with my other hand and, feeling like a draught horse, hurried after the young man.


    ¡°Where are you taking me?¡±


    ¡°To the nearest Labyrinth. Let''s hope the tests in there don''t cost us life, blood and a lot of nerves.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you''re so good at escalating things,¡± I grumbled.


    Grant said nothing; he was thoughtful and silent. And his taciturn mood, which had come over him after the Hole incident, made me nervous. Before, he couldn''t sit still for five minutes without grumbling about life or commenting on my expression, for example.


    Now he didn''t look like himself, which made me feel uncomfortable.


    The sky had already darkened and cleared several times, and the rain was falling in large drops as we made our way through the thicket. The trees parted ahead of us and we found ourselves in the backyard of an abandoned three-storey house. Almost all the windows were boarded up, only the small round window under the roof glittered with glass. The old dwelling creaked and swayed, though there was no wind as we walked to the front door.


    ¡°We''re not going over there, are we?¡± I froze, unable to take another step towards this ¡®horror film set¡¯.


    As if to echo my mood, thunder rumbled somewhere above.


    ¡°Are you afraid of death, Siri?¡± my companion asked ominously, frightening an already frightened me.


    ¡°No,¡± I was honest about it.


    ¡°So what do you fear, Siri?¡± Grant asked with a chuckle, staring at the crooked door of the mansion.


    I said the first thing that came to mind: ¡°Spiders and other arthropods. Just the phrase ¡®there''s a spider in there¡¯ makes me want to leave the country.¡±


    He smiled at my unfunny joke. ¡°Let''s hope it''s not the Labyrinth of Fears.¡±


    ¡°Fears?¡±


    ¡°To get through it, you must overcome your...¡±


    ¡°I get it. You don''t have to keep explaining.¡±


    Grant nodded, lit a fire flower in the palm of his hand and stepped onto the first step of the porch.


    ¡°Have you been through this labyrinth before?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    We opened the front door with a deafening creak and squeezed inside.


    ¡°So? You''re not afraid of anything anymore?¡±


    The guy turned and, with the look of a wise sensei enlightening a misguided disciple, replied, ¡°I have overcome those fears, but many new ones may have arisen since then.¡±


    The flame petals played light and shadow on Circul¡¯s face, making it appear more serious. Even the eternal devilish glint in his eyes faded.


    ¡°Yeah, like the fear of poisoning yourself with dumplings,¡± suggested I.


    The guy snorted, returning to his earlier malicious mood. ¡°Or the fear of being chained to you forever.¡±


    ¡°Yes, till death do us part.¡±


    ¡°I''d rather die here... the sight of your grey hair and loose teeth doesn''t appeal to me.¡±


    ¡°Likewise.¡±


    We exchanged words until the corridor led us into a small hall. Grant threw a flaming bud up to the ceiling. It was like a light bulb, illuminating most of the room.


    ¡°Omg, Siri, don''t look, there''s a spider in there,¡± Grant warned.


    Should I say that I turned around immediately?


    Unless my eyesight was failing me, a furry member of the spider class, that could rival some kittens in size (particularly large and overeating tiger kittens), was staring at us from the corner.


    ¡°Right...¡± my companion threw the rucksack from his shoulder, unfastened the straps cold-bloodedly and began to rummage in the depths of the main compartment, ¡°It was here somewhere.¡±


    A few seconds later, the side of an almost new stainless pot glistened in the light. Aiming, the guy threw a steel trap over the occupant of the house and then slowly approached his ¡®prey¡¯.


    ¡°If the spider disappears, it means it was the embodiment of your fear. If it doesn''t, we''ll just kill it.¡±


    I nodded, but backed away, wanting to get away from the epicentre of a possible future kill. And it wasn''t like this spider was going to give up so easily.


    Circul lifted the pot, there was no one underneath it.


    Grant looked at me. I looked at him.


    I swallowed, feeling the icy tentacles of fear grip the inside of my stomach.


    ¡°Get your things, we''re burning this place down. I''m not coming back here. Who knows what other phobias you have?¡± said Circul and ran away.

 In Oblivion pt 2

    We were outside faster than my heart could beat back twelve beats. After catching our breath, we decided to follow the overgrown path that wound through the tall trees.


    But first my companion threw a fire flower at the second-storey window, a muffled explosion and flames engulfed the withered wood, the fire devoured the once-tall mansion with a crackling sound, quickly reducing it to ashes and cinders.


    After admiring the fire, we left.


    I didn''t want to escalate, but the ominous silence of the forest made me nervous. I was tempted to ask Grant to stop searching for a new labyrinth. The idea of waiting for two days, sitting in one place and quietly going mad with boredom didn''t seem so hopeless any more. But for now, curiosity and the desire to get out of Oblivion drove me on.


    It was sunny again when we came to a glade with a pair of huge boulders in the middle. The briars that crowned the stone pillars were twice our height. We circled the clearing until we came to a black hole.


    ¡°Is there anything worse in this world than the Labyrinth of Fear?¡± Grant asked with a chuckle, looking at the dark entrance to the cave.


    The steps started just below the stone canopy and went down, the sunlight diffused at around the seventh step, making it impossible to see how deep the corridor was.


    I wasn''t afraid of dungeons. I had been through so many instances in my life that I could write a survival manual. There were plenty of such locations in Virtul.


    The stairs ended and we stepped onto stone tiles with bas-relief patterns carved into them. The labyrinth looked suspiciously like the dungeon in my favourite game, which opened at level 32. Even the lamps burned with a pale green fire, just like the ones in Nunti''s Caves.


    ¡°Have you been here before?¡±


    Grant shrugged indefinitely, ¡°There are many Labyrinths in Oblivion. And each time they change their location.¡±


    ¡°Why were they created in the first place?¡± I kicked at a pebble that came under my foot, the impact echoing through the caves.


    ¡°My father told me that this land was once used to train mages to serve in the Imperial Guard. But since the change of power in Unica, the dimension has been forgotten. And magic has become unpopular.¡±


    ¡°So the president decided ¡®there''s nothing to waste¡¯ and started training you here ¨C in case you don''t die while subduing the second gift?¡± I said sceptically, marvelling once again at the cruelty of Rizor Circul.


    ¡°My father may have made some bad decisions, but you don''t get to judge him,¡± Grant said coldly. ¡°You know my family personally, but you''re not allowed to discuss their actions,¡± he gave me a contemptuous look.


    His words left me cold. I wasn''t scared anymore, but I was uncomfortable. I didn''t feel safe around him. Emotionally safe. He was a cunning manipulator of people''s moods, and he had a foxy spirit in his blood. He was a master at playing on the nerves of others.


    Did I have to keep quiet for the rest of my life and not speak up when I didn''t like something? I ostentatiously stayed behind him and walked slower, just to keep my distance from him, glad that in this world we weren''t chained together and could walk as far away from each other as we liked.


    The air around us had indeed grown cold. A mist had settled over the ground, and the deeper we went into the cave, the more it looked like a subterranean forest.  Only the moon and the howling of the wolves were missing to create a completely bleak atmosphere.


    ¡°It''s getting colder,¡± the young man turned to me, a puff of steam coming out of his mouth with every word. ¡°You can control the air, can''t you? Heat it up.¡±


    ¡°I can''t do it. I haven''t been taught,¡± I muttered in retaliation.


    It was easy enough to call for a warm breeze, but now I was so angry at Circul Junior for his love of rash words, which were now hurting my ego, that even if we''d been caught in a blizzard at the North Pole, I wouldn''t have agreed to keep him warm there.


    I quickly changed my mind as white snow fell from the ceiling in large, sticky flakes, but there was no time to call for a summer breeze. We had a more pressing problem.


    A three-tailed fox jumped out of the tree at me. It landed on my shoulder, scratched it bloody, growled and flew into Grant''s face, who turned at my scream.


    A few centimetres from his nose, the guy caught the barking beast, snapped its neck with a crunch, and threw the breathless carcass onto the road. The red fur burst into flames and red sparks, which, after a couple of heartbeats, faded and dissolved into dust.


    ¡°Behind you!¡± Grant warned me, throwing his rucksack to his feet and pulling out a stick with metal spikes.


    I ran behind Circul, and only then dared to look at what was breathing down my back.


    Many grinning animals with red and black eyes looked at us, and how happy they were to see us ¨C their mouths were drooling.


    ¡°Hold them with air while I change their emotions,¡± Grant ordered, retreating towards the river that loomed in the gaps between the trees.


    ¡°Can''t you just burn them?¡± I didn''t want to use magic. I could hardly handle it when there was danger on the horizon.


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    ¡°I can''t. The fire won''t fully obey me until I''ve used up the second gift,¡± Circul closed his lids and knitted his eyebrows in concentration.


    I looked up at the ceiling and sighed. I was too lazy to save our lives right now, but the thought that if we died here, we''d go crazy in the real world kept me going. And I also wanted to get revenge on the president.


    ¡°Come, air.¡±


    The rising wind caught my words, licked my palms in welcome and stood between us and the pack of foxes.


    I watched with indifference as the foxes'' formation suddenly broke up. Some of them jumped for joy, began to kiss and play, rolling around in the grass and road dust, others fell to the ground and looked melancholy at their fellows, others grinned and lunged at each other in anger.


    After a few minutes, a huge cloud of dust had formed, with red sparks flashing from time to time, so you couldn''t see anything.


    ¡°Run!¡± Grant grabbed my arm and dragged me into the woods.


    We ran until the barking and squealing of the foxes had died down. I sat on a fallen log to catch my breath.


    ¡°What are those creatures?¡±


    ¡°No idea,¡± the guy swept a hand through his hair, which made me want to touch his silky hair too. ¡°It''s a good thing that they''re susceptible to emotion.¡±


    Circul collapsed onto the grass, closed his eyes, regaining his strength.


    ¡°Grant, you don''t happen to have any food in that oversized rucksack of yours, do you?¡± I wouldn''t mind a bite to eat.


    ¡°We almost got eaten ourselves, and you can still think about food at a time like this?¡± the young man opened one eye and gave me a reproachful look.


    ¡°You know, as my auntie used to say, hunger is not a wolf, it doesn''t go into the woods when you drive it away.¡±


    Hmm, I thought we heard wolves howling, so they must be here.


    ¡®If you kill a wolf, will its meat taste good? I can''t cook, of course, but I think I can skin it and Grant can roast it on his fire¡­¡¯


    ¡°Interesting statement,¡± the guy grinned and pulled his backpack towards him. ¡°There were some nut pastilles in here somewhere.¡±


    My hands itched with anticipation, I was ready to eat a kilo of pure sugar, as long as my stomach didn''t rumble.


    But as soon as I took my eyes off the guy with the rucksack, a knot of horror and fear formed in the pit of my stomach and I immediately stopped wanting to eat.


    ¡°Grant, don''t make any sudden moves,¡± I retreated quietly to the tree.


    ¡°What?¡± he raised his head.


    ¡°There''s a huge wolf behind you.¡±


    ¡°You expect me to believe that? There are no wolves in the Labyrinths, only outside them, in Oblivion itself.¡±


    I didn''t try to change the guy''s mind, I threw my arm forward, the airflow knocked him off his feet and nailed the wolf to the trunk of the spruce tree. But it was too soon to rejoice, for instead of one defeated predator, ten lights flashed nearby and more wolves sprang from them.


    ¡°Okay, I take it back,¡± Grant said, picking up a dry stick from the ground and lighting it.


    I whirled, creating a small tornado, but as more animals died, thrown to the ground or into trees, more new ones sprang up.


    One of the beasts leapt towards me, overcoming a gust of wind, and clawed at my shoulder. I screamed, losing control of the spell, and the lifted branches and leaves fell in a shower of leaves.


    Circul struck the wolf on the head with a burning stick, causing it to roll its eyes and relax its jaws. I barely managed to get my hand out of its mouth, dodging at the last moment to avoid the teeth of the other two wolves.


    I picked up a heavy bag from the ground and threw it into the middle of the pack. The tent perished. It was torn to pieces. I actually felt sorry for it. I''ve dragged it through the woods so far, only to have it die like this?


    ¡°Can you make another air wall?¡± Grant asked, scorching the grey fur of the beasts with fireballs.


    Nodded, but then remembered that I''d seen some dishwashing liquid in the backpack while the guy was looking for pastilles. I didn''t know how it had ended up in Oblivion, there weren''t even any plates anywhere, apparently for the pot that had been left behind in the burnt-out Labyrinth of Fear.


    A green plastic detergent with a coloured sticker on its belly lay almost on top, I pulled it into the light, closed my eyes and tried to remember a spell I had once learnt for fun.


    I squeezed the liquid into my hand, concentrated, and soap bubbles flew from my palm, growing larger with each heartbeat. I gave them elasticity and aimed them at the wolves.


    Trapped in airy, soapy cocoons, the beasts howled in surprise as their paws lifted off the ground. It was almost impossible to burst the bubbles now. Too much magic had gone into their strength.


    A few of these bubbles got stuck between the branches, but most of them soared over the forest, hovering above the tops of the spruces.


    Satisfied with my mischief, I turned to Grant, who was holding the burning stick in his hands, dumbfounded. He finally came to his senses, cleared his throat and said as confidently as if he saw wolves in the sky every day, ¡°We should head back to the river. It''s easier to find our way along it.¡±


    ¡°Where are the pastilles?¡±


    ¡°I think it was gone when you summoned the tornado. It''s a good thing the rucksack was so heavy that even the heavenly forces couldn''t lift it,¡± the guy picked up his bag and walked towards where the sound of water was coming from.


    Sadly, I picked up the shabby sleeping bag and plaid and followed Circul.


    The snow fell from above again, I wrapped my arms around myself and called for a southerly breeze. Immediately the snowflakes turned into drops.


    ¡°So you lied about not knowing how to control heat?¡± Grant said reproachfully.


    I was about to blush with shame and curse myself for being such an idiot, but then changed my mind about apologising for lying.


    ¡°I didn''t lie. I said I hadn''t been taught.¡±


    He snorted, as if he didn''t expect me to be honest.


    ¡°Does it hurt?¡± Circul asked, nodding at my shoulder.


    Just remembered that my hand was bleeding. I looked down at the sleeve of my shirt, which had already turned a dark scarlet colour. Surprisingly, I didn''t feel any pain, as if I had no wound at all.


    ¡°It hurts like hell, I can barely move my arm,¡± I wailed, squinting at the guy.


    He came over to me with a worried look on his face, carefully holding the lit fire flower to my wounds, studying the torn strips of skin hanging through the hole in my shirt. There was even a wrinkle between his eyebrows that made my heart twitch a little.


    ¡°Boo!¡± I shouted loudly into his ear.


    The guy recoiled, looking at me fearfully, still not understanding anything.


    Giggling, I sat down on the floor and laughed at my stunned companion.


    ¡°I should have left you in the forest. Let the wolves eat you,¡± Grant muttered as he adjusted his pack and stepped into the river in his boots.


    I looked down at my expensive new trainers. The world was an illusion, but I didn''t want to ruin them, even in Oblivion, so I took them off, tied the laces together and slipped them over my sleeping bag strap.


    The water was icy, so I reached the other shore before my companion, who, stepping onto dry land, nonchalantly took off his boots, poured out the water and put them back on. Why did he pretend to be cool and not take his shoes off first?


    I made fun of the guy, but only until I had walked a few steps. The river bed was littered with sharp rocks that hurt my poor feet.


    I felt my stupidity now, limping on both legs, and had to walk on tiptoe so it wouldn''t hurt. Surprisingly, the wounds from the wolves'' and foxes'' teeth didn''t hurt, but those from the rocks caused great discomfort.

 In Oblivion pt 3

    Grant and I had been in Oblivion for what seemed like a day, but he didn''t have a scratch on him and I was all mangled and bleeding. Yes, I was a bad survivor. I wonder if we''d been in Virtul and gone into a dungeon, would I have been as stupid and messed up at every turn?


    Probably not. If it were Virtul, I''d kill all the foxes with one hand if I had my rapier, and I''d shoot the wolves with a bow while jumping through the trees. I wish Grant could have seen me in the game, I''d have shown my martial arts skills.


    His girlfriend would have been better than me, though. She''s an NPC with a level infinitely higher than mine. Would love to see her live.....


    ¡°Let me guess, you never had an auntie?¡±


    ¡°What makes you say that?¡±


    ¡°So yes or no?¡± he gave me a charming smile, but there was no joy in his eyes.


    ¡°Yeah, I didn''t have an aunt. I was just saying that to make a point.¡±


    The guy smiled his foxy smile again, ¡°I think I''ve figured out what the Labyrinth is.¡±


    ¡°And? What did you figure out?¡±


    ¡°This is the Labyrinth of Truth. If we lie, they''ll try to kill us.¡±


    ¡°It can''t be true. Why would anyone create a place like this? W-what are you doing?¡± I backed up as the guy started to step on me.


    ¡°I want to see if my hunch is right. How do you feel about me?¡± Circul came closer. He lifted his arm to hug me.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I shoved his palm away and stepped back, angry at the amusement reflected in his eyes.


    It seemed to take a moment for all the foxes in the forest to run to my cry.


    ¡°Why is this happening again?¡± sighing, I looked up at the cave''s ¡®sky¡¯. I could barely stand; the bubble spell had taken almost all of my strength.


    ¡°You lied,¡± he replied indifferently.


    ¡°Then why are there so many of them?¡±


    ¡°You lied twice.¡±


    ¡°When was it?¡± I asked, but I shut my mouth quickly and never said another word. To avoid it.


    Grant looked at me, staggering with exhaustion, sighed and said in a commanding tone: ¡°Okay. This time it''s my turn. Stand aside.¡±


    The foxes beat each other up quickly, driven by the emotion of Grant''s magic, but we were still in the middle of the forest. How much magic was in Circul Junior if we still hadn''t left these lands? It seemed as if this Oblivion would never end.


    I had rested during the massacre, so I set off with renewed vigour. The path we found in the hazelnut bush felt endless.


    ¡°I''m tired. I can''t wait to get out of here.¡±


    ¡°You shouldn''t have lied so much, Siri,¡± Grant rebuked me with a smile.


    Surprisingly, he was in too good a mood, even though we had been walking through the thicket for two hours.


    Yes, I see. He takes pleasure in the suffering of others. You can tell right away that he''s a sadist.


    And a masochist. Because no one in their right mind would enjoy a long walk through Oblivion.


    When the trail broke off at the cave wall, I couldn''t believe my eyes.


    ¡°This is the end...¡± I exhaled and sat down right there, leaning my back against the cold granite.


    ¡°Yes, it''s over. We are close,¡± Grant examined the ground beneath his feet. ¡°This way,¡± he pointed to the left.


    I had to get up and follow the guy who was reading some invisible marks on the floor of the cave. But the idea of following the Circul proved sensible, we found a way out.


    A breeze blew in my face as I walked down the stones to the meadow. There was a sea of flowers, stars in the dark sky and a huge disc of moonlight brightly illuminating the valley.


    Despite the night, the buds were open. The wind ruffled the tall, glossy grass and the blooming flowers ¨C daisies, cornflowers, bells, violets and wild onions ¨C dotted the meadows. There were all kinds of colours. White, red, blue, yellow, purple. All the plants shone in the moonlight.


    I lifted my head and admired the view. A myriad of constellations, such a myriad of twinkling points, the sky was littered with precious celestial gems.


    ¡°How many stars are there!¡± I raised my hand, hoping to stroke the sky.


    ¡°In reaching for the stars, people often forget the flowers beneath their feet,¡± Circul quipped, spoiling the mood.


    ¡°Flowers only know how to die, but stars live forever,¡± I retorted.


    ¡°But at the same time, only flowers really live. They live the days counted out by them, blooming so desperately, as if they understand better than people the transience of life,¡± the guy said philosophically, leaning over the low mallows.


    The flowers smelled wonderful. I ran my palm over the cool buds, the silk of the petals caressing my skin.


    Grant knelt down, buried his head in the flowers, and couldn''t get enough of them. He seemed to have a sense of smell in Oblivion, so I let him enjoy the scents of the meadow.


    I covered my eyes and spun around in a circle with my arms outstretched. A lightness ran through my blood and made me want to laugh.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    A soft chime diluted the breath of the wind.


    I stopped and looked at the figure of a girl dancing in a field not far from us. She wore round silver bells woven into her long hair. Every time she moved, they made a melodious ringing sound.


    I stepped back closer to Grant, wondering what the unknown creature was up to. The guy froze, staring at the silhouette.


    There was no fear on his face, so I reassured myself, but there was so much pain in his eyes that my heart broke with pity.


    ¡°Let''s go,¡± he finally came to his senses and grabbed my hand tightly, leading me away without turning around.


    We walked near the rock with the cave and entered the shade of dark trees. The forest was no longer deciduous, but mostly coniferous. The green needles smelled so fragrant that I felt like sneezing every few breaths.


    Circul gathered the wood, a small spark shot from his finger and the flames crackled merrily. I threw the sleeping bag on the ground and spread a plaid over it. We sat almost side by side, watching the fire, and time passed slowly. The night seemed to like it here and didn''t want to leave.


    ¡°Say a word. For half an hour you''ve said nothing.¡±


    ¡°I''ve noticed for a long time that you''re afraid of silence. Is it because of something else?¡± the guy looked at me with interest.


    ¡°No idea. I just don''t like it when people around me are so mysteriously and ominously silent.¡±


    He grinned at me. Grant threw some dry twigs he''d been drawing on the ground with into the fire.


    ¡°I shouldn''t have said those words to my father...¡± he exhaled. ¡°He had his own reasons for shutting down Virtul. But every time it comes up, I can''t suppress my anger.¡±


    ¡°I''m angry about that too,¡± I said eagerly. ¡°I don''t understand these reasons, and I probably never will. Virtul was everything to me. No one had the right to take it from me, not even the president.¡±


    ¡°You know, when my father became president, I was scared. I should have been happy. But I was scared. I was afraid that he would do the wrong things or things that others wouldn''t like. My bad expectations came true.¡±


    ¡°My expectations, on the other hand, have been shattered. Your father, despite all the terrible things he''s done... he loves you. Mine didn''t care. It was an achievement if we could say a few words to each other in a day. It was as if I didn''t exist for him. I had nightmares that I went blind and he didn''t notice. And I starved to death because he didn''t even feed me.¡±


    ¡°Did you have a bad relationship with your father?¡±


    ¡°No. More like none at all,¡± I pull my knees up to my chin, my eyes watering. From the smoke.


    ¡°I had a nightmare when I was a kid too,¡± Grant stretched and yawned. ¡°I dreamt I snuck into my father''s office, found a remote control on the desk, pressed a red button and destroyed an entire city. At the command of the button, bombs were dropped on the settlement.¡±


    ¡°But that''s not the way it works,¡± I laughed as I imagined the horror of Risor Circul when he was told that his son had wiped out a small, pretty town.


    ¡°Yes, but the nightmares and the fears don''t care whether or not it actually happens in real life.¡±


    ¡°That''s true,¡± I smiled, remembering how afraid I''d been of the police and firemen as a child.


    ¡°What is your greatest fear?¡± the guy looked me straight in the eye.


    I turned my head away and quickly changed the subject, ¡°Tell me about her.¡±


    ¡°About who?¡±


    ¡°The girl in the meadow.¡±


    Circul''s voice shook, ¡°It was Tina.¡±


    ¡°Is your girlfriend in the game? And how did she get here?¡±


    ¡°I don''t have a clue.¡±


    ¡°How did you meet her in Virtul?¡± I was really curious. It was rare for a player to choose a System¡¯s avatar as a mate, as there were plenty of live ones.


    ¡°When I was appointed guild officer, she became my assistant. I ignored her for three years until one day I saw her dancing. We were on a guild mission, and the quest was to dance at the Festival of the Moon and Stars, and there were no suitable female players with us, so Matina stepped up to the plate.¡±


    ¡°How romantic,¡± I exhaled enthusiastically.


    ¡°Not at all. Once I got to know her, I regretted ever getting involved with her. She had a great sense of humour. Mostly black. Your jokes, Siri, they''re like innocent baby talk compared to hers.¡±


    I sulked, but a clap of thunder from above made me jump. ¡°Damn, it''s too spooky in this Oblivion. I''m going grey.¡±


    ¡°Just remember that it''s only a dream, and nothing more.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but I might wake up already insane,¡± I grumbled. ¡°If I manage to survive without going mad, I''ll write a book.¡±


    ¡°About what?¡±


    ¡°About a girl who couldn''t taste the flavour of life... and a boy who couldn''t feel the breath of flowers.¡±


    I grinned. The title was ready, all that remained was to emerge from Oblivion in a calm state of mind.


    ¡°Like in Oblivion,¡± Cirkul recalled wistfully, ¡°I could taste and smell in the game. Mati smelled of citrus and nuts.¡±


    ¡®And Krile smelled of bitter chocolate and sweet coffee¡­¡¯


    The guy moved closer to me. ¡°You smell like peppermint.¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± I smiled. ¡°I''m using your shampoo.¡±


    We were silent for a moment, each of us thinking of something special. I was dreaming of warm tea with cooling mint because my throat was dry, while Grant was probably working out the chain of crimes in his head: ¡®Where is my precious shower gel collection going and who is behind it?¡¯


    ¡°What about you and Krile?¡± he asked suddenly.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°How did you get to know him?¡±


    ¡°Uh-oh,¡± I stretched out and made myself comfortable. ¡°I lost to him at cards.¡±


    Circul also changed position on the sleeping bag and prepared to listen.


    I continued: ¡°You may remember the level sixty-nine quest where you have to find the ¡®suspicious person¡¯ who stole the princess''s jewels in the tavern?¡±


    I smiled as the guy nodded. Grant had a surprisingly good memory when it came to the game.


    ¡°So I went into the tavern, and while I was looking at the customers, I saw Krile. He was sitting there in a busker''s outfit, playing cards for money with a couple of drunken gamblers. I decided to try my luck.¡±


    ¡°Let me guess, you lost?¡± the young man asked expectantly.


    ¡°Wide of the mark! Well, yes, but that was later. First I beat him out of all his money, then he asked for a rematch.¡±


    ¡°What kind of prize did you play for?¡±


    ¡°For a wish. And I lost.¡±


    ¡°Have you lost at cards to an NPC? For a wish?¡± Circul rounded his eyes.


    ¡°Uh-huh,¡± I even lowered my head in shame. No matter how often I remembered that meeting, I always felt uncomfortable for my stupidity, even though it had given me Krile.


    ¡°I''m afraid to imagine what the System asked you to do when you lost.¡±


    ¡°A cloak as black as a raven''s wing.¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°I was to find him a black cloak the colour of a raven''s wing. I spent three days bringing him different black cloaks, but he was not satisfied. Finally I beat him and he asked me to marry him.¡±


    ¡°Wow, what a story.¡±


    ¡°Yes. The worst part is realising it was real. The first few months of our life together in Virtul were hell, all he did was play cards with other players while we went on quests. Then, of course, I spent a lot of cheats on him to make his character a little better. He was even meaner than you. And he wouldn''t stop talking.¡±


    But I loved him like I''d never loved anyone before¡­


    I listened to the breathing of the fire under the moon and remembered my short life.


    ¡°You know, it is said that the human soul is born and dies four times before it finds eternal rest and dissolves into the nothingness of time. And in each rebirth we meet the soul we loved before. But there''s something that worries me.¡±


    ¡°You think you won''t meet him? The System is not a living being, it''s a product of magic and technology, so of course it''s unlikely to reincarnate,¡± the guy grinned bitterly, not happy with his own words.


    ¡°Then I have no chance of being happy? Because I know that I could never love anyone else as much as I love Krile.¡±


    Grant shrugged his shoulders. ¡°If I were thirty or forty years older, I would say that you have everything ahead of you and that you will meet new love. But in general they say it''s better to get over love when you''re young. It''s like chicken pox, the older you get it, the harder it is.¡±


    I sneered. Yeah, maybe.


    If I were in my forties right now, I wouldn''t be sitting here. I would have ended my life a long time ago, without having to worry about a ¡®beautiful exit¡¯ and revenge.


    ¡°I still believe that the Creator is not so cruel. He''ll let you meet Krile in your next life... or someone whose soul is so much like him,¡± Circul smiled encouragingly, seeing that I was so down.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I smiled sadly in return, knowing I wasn''t the only one with similar thoughts.


    Grant was kind of mean, but he was understandable in some ways. Everyone in our world had lost someone close to them. Everyone felt the devastation and the ¡®beauty¡¯ of loss.

 In Oblivion pt 4

    ¡°Usually, on long quests in Virtul, a bard would come in on an evening like this and sing sad songs,¡± Circul said thoughtfully. The flames of the fire burned in his eyes and made me want to stare at them forever.


    ¡°I''m for the bard,¡± I said, immediately pleased, remembering that there were more ways to pass the time than mournful talk under the moonlit sky.


    The sparks from the fire were like insects, leaping out of the fire pile with avid stubbornness and hovering in the air, resembling living creatures. I covered my eyelids, gathered my thoughts, and sang.


    ? It''s okay, even if there''s nothing around.


    It''s okay, if sadness consumes me.


    The black clouds are gathering again


    Even if I''m still in the clouds


    Even if I''m shattered again


    And my wings are broken


    Even if I''m losing myself


    It''s all right


    I''m my own salvation ?


    I didn''t know why that song came to mind, but as soon as I opened my eyes, my gaze fell on Grant, who was tense and surrounded by fireflies. The young man was staring at something beyond the trees. I turned and froze as well.


    Mati walked towards us, treading softly on the fallen pine needles, and only the wind occasionally picked up the tinkling of bells. Without saying a word, Matina came to the fire, sat down opposite us.


    ¡°Tina, you...¡± Circul¡¯s voice failed him, so he gasped barely audibly.


    The girl looked up at him with a blank stare of dark, pupilless eyes, then rested her elbows on her bent knees, put her cheeks on her palms and gazed thoughtfully at the flames of the fire.


    The young man watched his beloved without taking his gaze off her, admiring every feature of her face.


    ¡®I wish I could see Krile too...¡¯ a stray thought slipped through my mind.


    ¡°I think we''re still in the Labyrinth. Then this isn''t about truth. This is where thoughts come to life,¡± Grant said. ¡°Siri, have you been thinking about foxes and wolves?¡±


    I didn''t have to answer; the guy had already guessed from my dazed look.


    I remembered that I''d thought a few times about the cold and the North Pole. I''d compared Grant''s smile to that of a fox, and I''d imagined the moon with wolves howling at it.


    There''s no way my imagination could be realised! Thanks for not thinking about spiders.


    Why did I do that now? Gosh, who asked me to bring them here?


    ¡°Grant, use your magic now!¡± I moved right up to him. ¡°We don''t have much time. There''ll be spiders here soon! We have to get out of here before they come.¡±


    The guy sighed heavily, but nodded.


    ¡°Go away,¡± he said to Tina, but she didn''t listen, so he turned to me. ¡°Tell her. It seems the Labyrinth only reacts to you.¡±


    ¡°Matina,¡± I called softly, and the girl looked up immediately. ¡°Please, I beg you... go away.¡±


    A few heartbeats and the silhouette before us burst into flames, scarlet sparks scattering across the grass.


    Circul looked at the spot where Tina was sitting for a minute and then, without looking at me, he commanded, ¡°Now, in your imagination, picture something that can stop or hold back this herd of spiders.¡±


    ¡°But what should I think?¡± I panicked.


    ¡°I don''t know!¡± Grant also shouted. ¡°Invent some kind of spider-eater. Or even better, two or a hundred...¡±


    I immediately closed my eyes and imagined huge elephant-like monsters with trunks the size of nine-storey buildings, sucking up everything arthropod and multi-eyed like a vacuum cleaner.


    ¡°That''s it,¡± I breathed out, hoping my made-up monsters could handle the fruits of my own sick imagination.


    ¡°Good, get closer,¡± Grant stretched, kneaded his stiff muscles, sat up straight and fixed his dark gaze on me.


    In the next five minutes I had time to cry, to laugh, to philosophise about the moon, to be disappointed that the fire wasn''t bright enough, to marvel at the stars in the sky, to be annoyed at the fireflies, to think with anticipation about my plan of revenge on Barg the pug for stealing my slipper while I was showering.


    I panicked at the shadows in the woods, mourned my fleeting youth, remembered the stale dumplings with reverence ¨C at which point I almost rebelled and lashed out at Grant, but he laughed and replaced my emotion with admiration for his abilities.


    I also longed for ice cream, blamed myself for all the world''s troubles, resented the ants, was angry about the new taxes, was jealous of the birch and the ash, felt sorry for the stones under my feet, and waited hopefully for the dawn. I had gone through almost the entire spectrum of emotions and seemed to be completely burnt out. I had almost no energy left to breathe and enjoy life.


    ¡°I think you''ve had enough,¡± Grant said quietly, looking at me sadly.


    ¡°Don''t stop,¡± asked I. Excitement blazed in me.


    ¡°Really? Shall I go on?¡± His black eyes suddenly lit up with sparks.


    I felt embarrassed under Circul¡¯s gaze and fluttered in the warm breeze, bathed in tenderness as I looked at the young man again, reaching for him with delight, wanting to stroke his silky hair, and then recoiled uncomfortably from him, the further I went the more disgust rose in me. I froze, trying to figure out if the feeling was my own or if it was still being forced upon me.


    Despair crept in for a moment and cold tears ran down my cheeks again.


    ¡°That''s enough!¡± I jumped up.


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    The wind died down from my scream and the mist drifted across the ground, covering the clearing in silence. I realised, to my embarrassment, that my impulse to touch the guy was real, but he was the one who''d made me dislike him.


    I felt terribly awkward and exhaled, trying to collect my thoughts, and looked at Grant, his eyes filled with contempt.


    ¡°One minute you say you hate me, the next you''re reaching out to hug me. Siri, do you have a split personality?¡± he asked coldly.


    I lowered my eyes to hide my disgust at myself. It seemed I''d relaxed too much, surrounded by the carefree aura of the president''s son, letting my heart get used to the living soul who had been with me for twenty-four hours, breathing in unison, thinking the same way I did, laughing when I laughed, longing for the same things I did.


    I had promised myself that I would never let anyone into my world again, never consider anyone a friend or a loved one. I had sworn vengeance on Risor Circul, I wanted him dead, I could not sympathise with his son.


    Even if I''d fallen in love with him, there would have been no chance of a happy ending. Our environment, our families, our backgrounds wouldn''t have allowed it.


    I was so sick of myself that I wanted to die here and now so that I wouldn''t feel so pathetic, so spineless, so stupid, so caught up in a fleeting emotion. I laughed helplessly, trying to hold back the tears.


    Everything inside me was turning upside down, the storm that had passed had decided to come back and finish what it had started ¨C to tear apart what was still relatively safe. I bit my lip, trying to calm myself down and pull myself together, but the pressurised atmosphere of Oblivion, coupled with the recent marathon of mental torture my vis-a-vis had given me, was making me hysterical.


    ¡°Siri, are you all right?¡± Grant asked cautiously.


    ¡°Leave me alone! Let me cry, can''t you see I''m not happy?¡± I turned away so I wouldn''t have to see those black eyes that were always studying me.


    The guy moved closer and grabbed my chin to catch my gaze. Magic poured out of him again.


    ¡°I like you better angry,¡± he exhaled before letting me go.


    I pulled away and slammed my fist into the ground, suppressing the anger that had been imposed. The idea of trusting my emotions to Grant didn''t seem so sensible anymore. I felt regret, but for a different reason.


    ¡°Forgive me. I don''t understand my own feelings,¡± I said quietly.


    ¡°If that''s the case... I''ll forgive you this time,¡± Grant leaned forward, nothing boyish about him now, speaking with the tone of a man who had long ago divided the world in right and wrong. And right in his mind was his point of view. ¡°But in the future I hope you will make up your mind about your feelings.¡±


    ¡°I''m tired...¡± I collapsed onto the sleeping bag and tucked my hands under my cheek. The flames of the fire were soothing, my body was so exhausted that I didn''t even want to cry or feel sorry for myself ¨C I just didn''t have the strength. ¡°Your magic seems to be endless. We''ll never use it up. How do we get out?¡±


    ¡°Well, there''s another way.¡±


    I even lifted myself up to face this silenced guy accusingly. ¡°And you kept quiet about it?¡±


    ¡°I didn''t want to use it until the last minute. Because the pain you''ll face... it''ll be real.¡±


    ¡°So?¡± I''ve never been afraid of pain. Unless it was mental, of course.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Circul surrendered. ¡°We must die.¡±


    ¡°Won''t it drive us mad?¡±


    ¡°If death is voluntary, no.¡±


    Glancing up at the sky, I grinned. My death would be more voluntary than anything else.


    ¡®Let''s think of it as a rehearsal for what will happen in less than three months'' time¡­¡¯


    ¡°Do you agree?¡± the guy asked incredulously.


    ¡°Yes. Better death than Oblivion,¡± I sang with a big smile. ¡°How do we kill ourselves?¡±


    ¡°Your enthusiasm frightens me,¡± the young man said seriously, looking for something in his rucksack.


    ¡°As my auntie used to say, it is better to face death with a smile on your face than with tears in your eyes. The former isn''t as scary.¡±


    ¡°So you''re afraid of it?¡±


    ¡°No, I want to scare it.¡±


    ¡°I thought you never had an auntie.¡±


    ¡°I do, Grant. That''s what I call our neighbour. She''s a very wise woman, she wouldn''t have liked you at first sight.¡±


    Circul smirked and tucked his black hair back.


    ¡°Here, drink this,¡± he held out a clear bottle the size of his little finger.


    ¡°What''s this?¡±


    ¡°Drink. You need to. Otherwise you won''t get out of here.¡±


    ¡°How about you?¡±


    ¡°I''ve taken it before, so I don''t need any more,¡± Grant smiled weakly and looked regretfully at the vial in my hand.


    Suspiciously, but nevertheless, I swallowed the tasteless contents of the bottle.


    ¡°Now close your eyes and imagine some kind of weapon,¡± the guy ordered.


    ¡°For what?¡±


    ¡°What are you gonna kill me with?¡±


    ¡°So we''re going to kill each other?¡± I couldn''t hold back my surprised exclamation, and my imagination immediately conjured up the ¡®romantic¡¯ death of two lovers according to the canon.


    Next to a tree, a pair of daggers crashed into the ground.


    Wow, that worked. Maybe we shouldn''t be in such a hurry to get out of here. I wouldn''t mind a whole hot pizza right now, with the cheese melting on it.


    The young man by my side exhaled in disappointment and despair. ¡°Siri, couldn''t you have thought of firearms or two cups of poison? Why do you want a cold weapon?¡±


    I shrugged, closed my eyes ¨C and nothing happened.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Grant sighed, looking at my attempts to ¡®summon¡¯ more humane forms of ¡®death¡¯. ¡°Looks like the Labyrinth wants us to use daggers.¡±


    I reached for the blades and lifted them up, fascinated by the glow of the flames on the steel. The handles were covered in leather and the tops inlaid with jewels. I''d seen these daggers somewhere before...


    Circul carefully took one of the blades from my hands and swung it around a few times to get used to it.


    ¡°You have to hit the heart. That''s the quickest and most painless way to die,¡± Grant warned, aiming at my shirt. ¡°Let''s go.¡±


    ¡°Where to?¡±


    ¡°I''m not going to die in the middle of the forest when there''s a more scenic spot nearby.¡±


    I rolled my eyes and followed the guy with a sigh. There was something romantic about him.


    Although, yes, I too would rather spend my last breath admiring the moon and enjoying the scent of the herbs and flowers than trying to find a comfortable position and wriggling on the ground because the pine needles are pricking my back.


    We stopped in the middle of the meadow and sat comfortably facing each other, each of us looking everywhere but at the other''s face, delaying ¡®that¡¯ moment.


    ¡°On the count of three?¡± Grant finally raised his black eyes to me.


    I touched his chest with my hands.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± His pupils dilated in surprise and his always pale cheeks turned pink.


    ¡°Can''t you see I''m looking for your heart?¡± I grumbled, unhappy that I was being prevented from catching a beat.


    ¡°Just hit it between the ribs.¡±


    ¡°I know. I got the highest grade in Anatomy my first year at school.¡±


    ¡°Only in your first year?¡±


    ¡°Then I lost interest in studying,¡± I smiled broadly. ¡°But don''t worry, I''ll kill you quickly and painlessly. I hope so.¡±


    ¡°Likewise.¡±


    We didn''t wait any longer, Cirkul Junior smiled encouragingly and tightened the hilt of his dagger. We plunged our blades into each other almost simultaneously.


    The guy slumped backwards, covered his eyes, and after a few long tens of seconds, the sparks were scattered.


    I sat with a huge dagger in my chest in the middle of the meadow, which smelled of buds that had opened just for that night.


    ¡°Grant, you''re such a muff. Couldn''t you have hit it a few centimetres to the left? Am I supposed to sit here and wait for all the blood to drain out of my wound? Or until I starve to death?¡± I nearly howled at the moon.


    Surprisingly, I didn''t feel any of the pain Grant had mentioned. I didn''t feel much at all, except for the cold, gusting wind that blew the stars out of the sky and made it darker with every breath I took.


    Although Oblivion was a frightening place, I liked the constellations in the dark blue sky and the flowers in the vast green ocean. I would like to think about them in the last moments of my life, if I were really dying now...


    ¡°My sweetheart...¡±


    I turned round. My dying heart clenched. Krile''s blue eyes stared back at me.


    My husband came closer, leaned in and smiled faintly, running his palm across my forehead. I tried to smile back, but my face cramped, so I just closed my eyes and savoured the touch.


    The last thing I remembered before the real darkness engulfed me was the barely perceptible chill of Krile''s fingers stroking my lips.


    My lips that still remembered the warmth of his lifeless breath.


    ¡Á ¡Á Death¡¯s desire ¡Á ¡Á


    ? It''s okay, even though the end is coming.


    It''s okay even if the pain consumes me,


    When the clouds gather again


    It''s okay if I''m lost in an endless dream.


    It''s all right if I get a good thrashing,


    Even if it breaks my wings and pushes me to the ground.


    And even if one day I suddenly stop being me,


    It''s okay, because I''m the only one who can save me.


    I''m always in trouble, but I never die.


    ¡°How are you?¡±


    ¡°I''m fine. My sky is clear.¡±


    To all suffering I say:


    ¡°Goodbye, have a good journey.¡±


    Save me. Cause I''m fine ?

 31. I understand

    We woke up in our room at Asanor Manor, Grant and I. The curtains swayed in the open window, letting the morning breeze into the bedroom. The sun wasn''t high enough, so we guessed breakfast hadn''t started yet.


    ¡°I''m hungry,¡± I jumped out of bed and looked for my slippers.


    ¡°You''ve just died, but you''re still thinking about food?¡± Circul Junior stared apathetically at the ceiling, not making the slightest movement towards the kitchen or dining room.


    ¡°People even take food to the graves. Don''t tell me ghosts don''t want to eat too.¡±


    ¡°Yes, you''d make a perfect undead ghost,¡± the guy said melancholically.


    I glanced into the mirror. I looked like a creature from the underworld, with my tattered hair and sleepy appearance.


    ¡°But I''m not stupid, unlike some people. If you ever kill me in real life, I''ll haunt you with that look and accuse you of not knowing where the heart is,¡± I said to the president''s son, angry that my death wasn''t as quick as his.


    Grant grinned and stood up. He walked to the wardrobe, unbuttoning his shirt on the way.


    I turned away as soon as his bare back was revealed. It wasn''t that I was embarrassed, but Circul had a well-built figure and it was obvious that he hadn''t skipped physical training at the military academy. I didn''t want him to catch me looking at him; he would surely make some sarcastic remark about me.


    ¡°Did it hurt?¡± he asked, fastening the buttons of his new shirt.


    I''d been brushing my hair before, occasionally squinting at the guy''s reflection in the mirror, but now my hand was hovering and I frowned, remembering the last few minutes in Oblivion.


    ¡°You know, surprisingly, no. You told me it was going to hurt a lot. Why wasn''t it?¡±


    ¡°So the elixir worked.¡±


    ¡°What was that elixir, anyway?¡±


    ¡°Painkiller.¡±


    ¡°What? You gave it to me, and you? Did you feel the pain?¡±


    Grant shrugged his shoulders in silence and walked into the bathroom, the chain dragging behind him, sliding along the pile of the carpet.


    I sat in front of the mirror with a lost look on my face until Circul returned. On the one hand, I was glad that he had done me the decent thing, that I had died easily and without pain, but on the other hand, I was alarmed.


    Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    Why was he so kind? I would never have offered him painkillers, I would have enjoyed every second of his suffering.


    ¡°You''d better get dressed. I suppose you''re not hungry anymore,¡± the guy stood in the bathroom doorway, his shoulder leaning against the doorjamb.


    I stirred, banishing any speculation as to the possible reasons for my enemy''s generosity, and looked around for my belongings.


    Our night''s shopping was neatly stacked by the door. I unwrapped them with anticipation, already imagining the shocking sight I would have to feed the inhabitants of the house for breakfast.


    After I''d dressed, Grant gave me a meaningful look, but said nothing, although it was obvious he was tempted to twist a finger at a temple and ask me to change.


    But he seemed to have something more important on his mind, so he didn''t dwell on my appearance, and as soon as I''d finished the last plait, he grabbed my arm and dragged me down the stairs to the ground floor.


    Much to my disappointment, we did not go straight to the dining room, but to the living room, where the voices of the president and the Minister of Defence could be heard.


    ¡°Father, why? Why did you send us to Oblivion? Why did you let me see her again?¡± the guy immediately attacked Rizor with an accusatory speech.


    Circul Senior didn''t show any surprise, but it was noticeable as a shadow fell across his face - though it might just have been a cloud obscuring the sun.


    ¡°Didn''t you want to do it yourself last night? How much of my money have you invested in this so-called ¡®Hole¡¯? Grant, I''m beginning to think that you lied to me when you told me that you weren''t allowed to attend field practice. You didn''t have to leave the Academy. I''m already regretting giving you that expensive yacht, which you sold three days later.¡±


    ¡°Is money all you care about?¡± Grant clenched his hands into fists.


    ¡°I care about your future,¡± the head of the country stood up, the aura of power sending shivers down my spine.


    His son, however, only turned away from his father and walked back to the window in silent surrender. But from the way his shoulders hunched, it looked like he was barely holding back his anger.


    ¡°Why did you bring this girl to my house?¡± Klaster Asanor asked suddenly.


    I glanced at his face and backed away towards Circul Junior, so much open hatred burned in the minister''s eyes.


    ¡°She''s linked to my son, how could I leave her behind?¡± Rizor also gave me a threatening look.


    ¡°Your son is always welcome in this house, but not this one...¡± Asanor stopped halfway through his sentence.


    I couldn''t understand why the grey-haired man who looked at me so angrily didn''t like me, and I gripped to the president''s son''s shoulder, hiding my gaze. Grant seemed almost like a kindred enemy, fervently loved and understood. Unlike his relatives.


    ¡°Once the bomb is removed, you won''t see her again...¡± Circul Senior hurriedly led his brother out of the living room. Their voices could be heard in the hallway for a while before the front door slammed shut.


    ¡°Sick of it all!¡± the guy shuddered and tore the curtain away, ripping it from the eaves.


    The pegs crashed to the parquet with a clatter.


    I picked up the curtain from the floor and hung it on the chair, stalling as I tried to find the right words to say. I seemed to understand Grant''s pain. I was still reeling from the sight of Rizor, the one who''d sent us into Oblivion.


    My hatred for the president grew from day to day. The desire to take revenge on him became more than a whim, it became a craving.


    Circul Junior reached for the second curtain, and although I shared his desire to smash and break things, I felt sorry for the local cleaners and butler.


    ¡°Calm down,¡± I stopped his hand.


    ¡°What do you know?¡± the guy shouted.


    ¡°Everything. I understand everything, Grant,¡± I said quietly, looking into his eyes and holding his right hand.


    I understand.

 32. The chain didnt tighten

    The guards at our bedroom door had been removed, but Lias (who really did look like a fox, not the head of the bodyguards, but a sneaky fox) grinned and put the bracelets on us. As long as we were inside the mansion, the sensors on them were dormant, but as soon as we stepped outside the gates, they turned red and a siren blared from the guard tower, alerting the neighbourhood to the fugitives.


    ¡°It feels like being in prison,¡± I said with a sigh, admiring my new jewellery. A choker around my neck, a bracelet on my wrist, and at this rate I thought I''d have my own special set of jewels.


    ¡°Why ¡®like¡¯?¡± Lias smiled, making sure ¡®the cuffs¡¯ were secure. ¡°You are in prison, Miss Siri. In Imperial times, this mansion was a place of detention for noble prisoners, but then Mr Gisborne bought the building and made it his home.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Grant confirmed, ¡°I heard they used to carry out executions in the room where the dining room is now.¡±


    ¡°And why am I not surprised?¡± to hide a smirk, I raised my eyes to the ceiling, where there was a picture of clouds and two doves.


    ¡°You can leave. You''re free to go,¡± the head of the guards opened the office door and let us through.


    His words sounded like a mockery. Grant and I grinned bitterly and walked out into the corridor.


    ¡°What do we do next?¡± I asked out of curiosity.


    ¡°Do what you want, but I''m going to sleep,¡± Circul yawned, infecting me with his sleepy mood.


    We''d been recovering from the Labyrinths of Oblivion all day. We slept, raided the kitchen while I fought off Barg, who liked my slippers, read books for a few hours, watched a film with Gisborne and listened to his commentary, and slept again. But we had to find a new bed or sofa every time we went to sleep.


    And when it was time to go to bed, we had just woken up. Our daily regime had gone to belief in humanity, snow dinosaurs and talking penguins, things that don''t exist and are long extinct.


    ¡°Where are we?¡± I looked around, trying to remember where we''d chosen to sleep this time.


    ¡°It''s the guest bedroom in the right wing of the house,¡± Grant murmured, wrinkling his nose sleepily. ¡°You know, Siri, I''ve had enough of your foibles.¡±


    ¡°What can I do?¡± I grumbled reluctantly, pulling the elastic band out of my tangled hair.


    ¡°Shall I take you to a counsellor?¡± Grant came up with the idea.


    ¡°It doesn''t work. Even sleeping pills haven''t helped.¡±


    The guy immediately hung his head: ¡°Shit.¡±


    I took a pillow from the bed. I loved it, soft but bouncy, just the way I like it.


    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Kai asked.


    We bumped into him as we were leaving the bedroom.


    Asanor''s curiosity had to be satisfied, otherwise he would not have left us. Grant described to his cousin the inconveniences he''d had to endure all this time, which made me both ashamed and angry with him.


    After listening to Circul¡¯s outpourings, Kai leaned back thoughtfully in his chair, folded his fingers together and said slowly: ¡°Perhaps I can help.¡±


    The president''s son looked at his cousin as if he were a saviour and an idol.


    ¡°No, not again...¡± I even jumped up from the sofa and moved closer to the exit, even though I knew I wouldn''t get far.


    ¡°Siri, you see this chain here, don''t you?¡± Grant defiantly lifted the chain and tested the links a few times for strength. ¡°I''ll strangle you with it if you don''t agree.¡±


    ¡°If you kill me, you die too,¡± I replied, backing away from him.


    ¡°At least in a coffin you won''t have to worry about finding a place to sleep every time,¡± he said threateningly as he stepped towards me.


    I was quickly caught, and no matter how much I struggled and scratched, they sat me in a chair and wrapped a chain around me several times, along with the padded backrest.


    ¡°Siri, open your eyes,¡± Kai asked with a smile in his voice.


    I shook my head. Magic hypnosis was the last thing I wanted to experience with my poor, battered mind.


    ¡°If you don''t open your eyes now, I''m going to tickle you to death!¡± Circul barked in my ear.


    Well, I mean, it''s worth a risk to try, isn''t it?


    ¡°Okay,¡± I lifted my eyelids and looked at the guys from under my lashes, ¡°do whatever you want. It might actually help.¡±


    Asanor leaned over me, grabbed my chin and said softly, reassuringly: ¡°Siri, you have beautiful eyes...¡±


    I didn''t listen any more, melting into his pure and tender gaze.


    And I can tell you that that night and all the nights that followed, when Kai ordered me to switch off my consciousness, I slept dreamlessly.


    ¡®Are you all right?¡¯ Asanor asked me mentally.


    ¡®Yes. I even think I might be able to sleep this time...¡¯


    ¡®I''m giving you confidence. I hope that''s what happens...¡¯ he smiled reassuringly.


    ¡®Thank you...¡¯


    ¡®You''re welcome, Siri.¡¯


    ¡®Kai, can I ask you a question?¡¯


    The guy raised his eyebrows, but nodded.


    ¡®It was you in the Hole, wasn''t it? Why weren''t you punished? Did you escape?¡¯


    Asanor frowned, but replied, ¡®You are mistaken. I was with the bodyguards the whole night...¡¯


    ¡®But I saw you¡­¡¯


    But Kai had already looked away, so he didn''t hear my last statement.


    ¡°You finished?¡± Circul, who had been watching us from a distance, walked over to his cousin.


    Asanor nodded as he moved away from my chair, and Grant immediately took advantage of that to untie me and take me by the arm.


    ¡°Let''s go, I want to sleep,¡± said he.


    ¡°Again?!¡±


    ¡°I used too much magic in Oblivion, it needs to recover,¡± Circul Jr. rambled on, almost making excuses.


    I sighed and squinted at my companion. What had I done in my previous life to be punished so much in this one?


    Grant was playing on Kai''s phone because the president had taken all the tech out of our room. He especially made sure that all of his son''s phones were removed from his belongings. Of course, I knew that parents sometimes restrict their children in some things, but to categorically deny them the Internet ¨C that seemed pretty monstrous and inhumane to me.


    I decided to brush and braid my hair while the lights were on, so I wouldn''t wake up in the morning with a crow''s nest on my head.


    I changed into my pyjamas in the bathroom, threw my clothes in the hamper and went to the dresser to get my hairbrush, but my collar rebelled. My necklace of death shrank slightly and flashed with multicoloured light.


    The bomb beeped, but the chain didn''t tighten.


    Until that moment I didn''t understand the meaning of this thing. I didn''t realise until one day the steps were nineteen instead of twenty.


    We were just slowly being killed.

 33. Ten seconds

    ¡°Yes, that''s what we feared. The distance has decreased,¡± the man in the white coat furrowed his brow.


    ¡°And how much will it decrease?¡± Grant asked colourlessly, as if he didn''t care at all about the impending mini-end of the world because of the bomb around my neck.


    ¡°It''s not a question of how much, but how fast. And distance isn''t our biggest problem. There are so many factors affecting the collar, it''s a wonder you''re still alive.¡±


    ¡°So you''re saying the bomb could go off at any time, no matter how close we are?¡± I blurted out, holding my breath, afraid of the answer.


    ¡°It''s hard to tell. We''ve scanned the collar and found the trigger circuit for the remote mode, but it''s been slightly altered, so we can''t say for sure if you can be blown up by outsiders.¡±


    ¡°And yet... we could die at any moment?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I exhaled... Wasn''t that what I had been wishing for the past two weeks? Death.


    But I didn''t like the fact that I couldn''t have it my own way. I would rather choose the time and place of my own death.


    I glanced at Grant, who was sitting in his chair, looking perfectly calm. Was he about to go over the edge too? I''d never heard such an idea from him before, but I had no evidence to the contrary.


    ¡°But there''s a blind spot, they made it especially for this kind of problem,¡± the lab assistant''s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.


    ¡°What''s the blind spot?¡±


    ¡°If Young Master Grant is standing behind you, within three paces of you, the bomb will not go off, even if it is remotely triggered.¡±


    ¡°So what, we''re supposed to walk around in a line all the time?¡±


    ¡°No, of course not. If the bomb ¡®wakes up¡¯, you have a few seconds to get back while the collar beeps. Ten seconds, to be precise.¡±


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    Yeah, ten seconds and that''s it ¨C bang, ¡°Hello, tritium!¡±, ¡°Hello, deuterium!¡±, ¡°Hugs?¡± and a big mushroom explosion.


    ¡°Thank you, Professor. We''re leaving,¡± Circul rose from his chair. He picked up the chain so it wouldn''t drag on the floor.


    I nodded goodbye to the man, who looked at us with regret. He felt sorry for us, you could see it in his eyes, but he still hadn''t found a way to get the damn collar off me. I felt sorry for him too. Sorry for the guilt he felt, even though it wasn''t his fault.


    All the blame lay with an unknown enemy of the president who, it seemed to me, would never show his face. The country''s leader had many ill-wishers, many of whom were simply out for revenge. Some of them succeeded.


    I was glad that Rizor Circul was suffering now, probably cursing his own politics every time he looked at Grant and me bound in chains, but I didn''t like that I was the one who had to carry out this revenge.


    I''d like to find the people who kidnapped me from the dentist''s office and beat the crap out of them, then make them wear a latest-generation heavy bomb 24 hours a day.


    ¡°How can you be so calm?¡± I stopped the guy by taking his hand.


    Grant turned around before getting into the car.


    ¡°We could all explode into atoms at any moment, and you walk around as if you don''t give a damn about the future.¡±


    ¡°If I worry, will it make a difference? Siri, I still care about my nerve cells. You''ve already killed a few billion, and they regenerate very slowly,¡± Circul grinned.


    The bodyguards hurried to their posts. There were more of them now. The president was really worried about our safety. It seemed that we would soon be guarded by helicopters and tanks, and heaven forbid we should dare to take a single step without supervision.


    Out of sheer defiance, I stopped, stood still and admired the spring sky.


    It was late morning, a light breeze, the sun''s rays playing on the roofs of houses and the windows of passing cars. Lous had changed with the arrival of May, birds were already flitting about in the young foliage, sheltering from the impending clouds. On the side of the industrial area, a curtain of rain was moving, and behind it, as if in a golden dust, was the edge of a pine forest.


    The lime trees in the nearby park smelled of honey, two big drops splashed on the windscreen of the auto, rolled down in streams. The rain drummed on the bonnet, the warm asphalt darkened before my eyes, covered with dots of water.


    May... summer was just around the corner, everything was breathing life and preparing for a long hot season, but my heart was not singing with the birds, my soul was not rejoicing in the sunshine. I couldn''t forget myself, I couldn''t get rid of stuffy, gloomy thoughts, I couldn''t breathe fully and escape the future, I couldn''t stop wishing for death.


    ¡°Have you decided to feed the rain with your frown?¡± Grant looked out of the car and pulled the chain. ¡°Siri, if you catch a cold, I''m going to kill you. Why aren''t you wearing a jacket?¡± he furrowed his brows, only now noticing that my arms were covered in goose bumps.


    I shrugged my shoulders indifferently and raised my face to the heavenly tears, clear drops immediately running down my cheeks.


    The chain twitched again, forcing me to walk.

 34. Thats how I met this man

    ¡°So this is the end,¡± Dara said pathetically, while Deya watched the dark lord descend from the sky with a shudder in her body. And when he appeared at the level of the roofs of the houses, the enthusiastic whispering about the recent rescue in the square stopped ¨C the people froze in horror, it became quiet, as if there was nothing left alive. The man continued to descend, his dark cloak fluttering in the bright sunlight, but his black hair was still... The girl stopped breathing as Rian lowered himself onto the snow-covered square, the snow crunching loudly under the soles of his boots, she had never been so scared.


    Deya sat shivering on the cold, snowy road as lord T''er slowly approached her with his usual menacing calm. And all the time since the magic dome had disappeared, Rian hadn''t taken his angry eyes off her. And she didn''t even have an excuse. All she wanted to do was cover her face with her hands and cry, or better yet, fall under the ground. But the girl continued to sit there, flinching at his every step, tears streaming down her cheeks, her lip bitten to keep from bursting into tears, her wounds burning and searing, it was so cold, but she still kept her eyes on the approaching mage.


    Suddenly Dara materialised fully in front of her and whispered: ¡°Master, don''t...¡± And then, for the first time, Rian tore his heavy gaze away from the girl, if only for a moment. As soon as he looked at the reborn one, she was blown out of the way by the force wave, the siren wailed again, the amulets of the Night Watch flashed scarlet. But Deya saw nothing but the Magister coming towards her, his eyes burning with fury. He stopped, towering over her. And before the flames of hell could roar, she heard him say, ¡°I''ve had enough...¡±


    ¡°Siri, do you want to practice with me?¡±


    I sighed. As usual, at the most fascinating part. I looked up from the book and frowned at Grant.


    ¡°I''m not interested.¡±


    ¡°Please?¡± Circul wore an uncharacteristically pleading expression.


    ¡°Why are you asking me to do this?¡±


    ¡°We stay at home all day, you hardly move and eat as much as you want. Soon you''ll become obese and suffocate because your neck will be so fat that it will be strangled by a bomb collar.¡±


    I snorted and put the book down. I wasn''t convinced at all.


    ¡°Somehow I don''t think that''s the main reason. You just want a whipping boy.¡±


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    ¡°That, too,¡± he smiled. ¡°It''s more like a whipping girl,¡± the guy glanced at me appraisingly.


    ¡°Didn''t they teach you not to hit girls?¡±


    ¡°Only if they''re lying down and unarmed,¡± he said, tossing me a wooden sword.


    I deftly picked up the training weapon and smirked promisingly.


    ¡°You''re overconfident,¡± Circul commented immediately. I can''t wait to see that mocking glint gone from your eyes.


    ¡°Grant, I was the best swordswoman in my clan. Even though I was in the virtual world, the knowledge ¨C the techniques and tricks ¨C are in my head, even if my body has never fought in real life, it is in my blood.¡±


    ¡°Well, oh yes, yes,¡± he really believed in me.


    I got into a fighting stance that I had seen a lot of in the game.


    ¡°What do I need to do?¡±


    Grant made a few movements. Then he brushed the few loose hairs that fell over his eyelashes.


    ¡°The key is to look your opponent in the eye. You have to scare me with your determination, not with your sword swing,¡± he added half-jokingly.


    ¡°Well, let''s get started.¡±


    Angry at the bomb that threatened to go off at any moment, at the nice weather that made me feel a bit gnarled, at the guy who was keeping me from concentrating on my book, I took my revenge on Grant, hitting him a few times with the wooden stick that was proudly called a training weapon. Most of the time he managed to block my blows. But I was too fierce in my desire to hurt someone, so my movements were precise and quick.


    But the Circul didn''t play the role of noble knight either, I was beaten to the point of blue stars and bruises all over my body.


    We went into the shower, as was our custom, using the rock-paper-scissors-win rule. With a sigh, I sat by the dresser, listening to the water running in the shower. It wasn''t that I was a total loser at RPS, but lately Grant had somehow inexplicably learned to anticipate my moves, so he always showered first. And every time he won, he would say with that wicked smile, ¡°Winner takes all, Siri¡±. It made me want to slap that cheeky, happy face even more.


    ¡°Grant, will you be out soon?¡± I knocked on the doorjamb.


    The answer to me was the muffled cries of an owl on the prowl ¨C it was Circul singing in the shower.


    ¡°If you don''t come out in a minute, I''ll sing too,¡± I said threateningly.


    There was a moment of silence in the bathroom, and then the song was on repeat. Okay, I''m done.


    I exhaled angrily, fluttering the wings of my nose, inhaled deeply and sang: ¡°Come out, open the door, the toilet is not just yours...¡±


    Barg came running to our concert, scratching at the bedroom door, but of course I wouldn''t let him in. Then the dog howled, trying to get in tune.


    ¡°Shut the hell up,¡± Kai''s voice sounded from the other end of the corridor where his chambers were.


    A cane clattered on the parquet floor.


    ¡°What do young people do for fun these days?¡± Gisborne grumbled as he passed our room. ¡°There are so many more pleasant ways to pass the time... even a game of cards. And they''re just yelling... Oh, we should have sent Grant to singing school, he would have made a great singer...¡±


    But everything in this world, thank heavens, comes to an end. Our concert trio was exhausted after a few minutes and the house was relatively quiet for an indefinite period.

 Thats how I met this man pt2

    I stared at Cicrul Junior, dressed in a suit for the evening, smoothing his hair in front of the mirror. He was wonderfully charming in his black tailored clothes. The carefully pressed shirt, the fitted jacket and the shiny cufflinks on his sleeves made him look a little older. Even his eternally boyish expression was gone from his face; he now looked like a young man of high society, with wealth and extensive family connections.


    I rose from the banquette, holding up my skirt and trying to keep my heels on as I cursed Kai Asanor for his ¡®impeccable taste¡¯. For the first time in my life, I''d decided to wear a dress to dinner, since Grant had warned me that we''d have guests ¨C some of his father''s close friends from the Kingdom of Rith. But all the evening gowns the president''s nephew had chosen were too dainty for me; I was completely incapable of wearing such things.


    Circul Jr. grinned as I waddled over to him, tangled in my hem.


    ¡°If you say a word now, I''ll dig my right heel between your eyes,¡± I warned, seeing that the guy was about to open his mouth to comment on my awkward gait.


    Grant lifted the corners of his lips.


    ¡°Actually, I wanted to compliment you,¡± he kindly gave me an elbow to lean on.


    ¡°What compliment?¡±


    We were about to reach the stairs leading down to the ground floor when Circul turned to me, tilted his head slightly to the right and said, ¡°You look a little better today than you usually do. Not that battered, rain-soaked crow.¡±


    ¡°I don''t know whether to be glad or cry at your remark,¡± I wrapped part of my chain around my wrist and stepped onto the first step.


    On the one hand, the fact that Grant had given me any kind of commendation was an achievement, but on the other hand, what else could I expect from the son of an enemy? Even though we had killed each other, not gone mad in the Labyrinths of Oblivion, slept side by side in every bed in the mansion and been baptised in battle with stale dumplings, that didn''t make us cronies. I was still Siri, an ordinary girl with a bomb around her neck, and Grant was still the son of the most hated president in the world.


    We were downstairs too early for dinner, so to avoid standing in the hallway we decided to wait in the small living room.


    The wind ruffled the curtains as we entered the room. The balcony door was open, letting in the cool evening air. A tall man''s silhouette loomed faintly in the opening, between the dandelions of light from the street lamps.


    The unknown man turned when he heard our footsteps. I stared at the outline of the man with interest until Grant switched on the table lamp to illuminate the room.


    It was only Kai. I looked around anxiously for Barg, as the dog always hung around Asanor Junior. There was no dog in sight, but sad Kai smelled of a perfume that was so pungent and unpleasant ¨C it made me want to sneeze. I pressed my finger against the dimple between my upper lip and nose to stop myself from sneezing.


    I chose a far, dark corner, grabbed a magazine from the table and hurried to the most comfortable chair.


    But I didn''t reach my destination. I was interrupted.


    ¡°Abi? Is that you?¡± Kai asked with in a broken voice. The guy ran up to me and hugged me from behind, knocking all the air out of my lungs. ¡°I missed you so much...¡± he literally tried to strangle me with a hug.


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    I shrugged to loosen his grip, but inhaled the scent of peppery perfume and coughed in surprise. Pepper was maddening, it made my heart race, brought tears to my eyes and I''d never been closer to wanting to run ten... already nine metres away and explode ¨C just so I wouldn''t have to breathe that noxious black pepper flavour again.


    ¡°Dav, you''re mistaken. This isn''t Abina. It''s Siri, our guest,¡± Circul saved me with his intervention.


    These unexpected embraces ended, and I was able to retreat silently to the balcony door, to the fresh air.


    Dav? I looked at the blonde, trying to find a difference between him and Kai.


    If someone had told me earlier that Grant had two twin cousins, I would have been very grateful. Now I had to pretend that I had known all my life that the Minister of Defense had another son. I wondered how much more I didn''t know about the president''s family.


    ¡°So similar...¡± Dav''s sharp blue eyes studied me intently, focusing on my white floor-length dress with embroidery on the chest and a loose skirt.


    ¡°If you don''t look at her in the light,¡± a wry smile slipped across Grant''s lips.


    I flared inwardly, annoyed at his constant teasing, feigned offence, snorted and walked to a nearby chair. My ¡®mate in bombastic misfortune¡¯ was sprawled on the sofa, joined by Dav Asanor, who sat down directly in front of me.


    The blue-eyed guy looked at me with interest as he talked to Circul about mutual acquaintances. I, too, stared at the young man in front of me with curiosity hidden behind a bored expression, jealous of Grant''s inability to smell for the first time in my life.


    The conversation soon died down, everyone thinking on their own, secretly hoping for a dinner announcement soon.


    Asanor pulled his eyes away from the sky outside the window and stared at the bomb with a look of incomprehensible regret. Or was it pity? Without words, it was clear that he was well aware of the deadly danger clinging to my throat.


    ¡°Beautiful thing...¡± he sighed at last.


    Unconsciously, I reached my palm to my neck, my fingertips touching the smooth ivory, tracing the rough surface set with precious stones.


    Yes, the collar was truly beautiful, there was no taking that away, but the possibilities it held were frightening.


    I let out an imperceptible sigh and closed my eyes for a moment, chasing away the unhappy thoughts; the magazine didn''t interest me at all, but I still stubbornly read the small lines on the seventh page, wanting to disappear into the paper world.


    Now I knew who had been in the Hole on the night of the raid. It was Dav I''d seen in the commotion, the one who''d rescued the documents from the cupboard next to the bar.


    I thought about the funny circumstances. The officials, the entire top leadership of Unica, were trying their best to shut down the game, to eradicate any mention of Virtul, while their children were setting up secret hideouts to circumvent their parents'' ban.


    The story is as old as the world, the eternal confrontation between fathers and children. The older generation has never understood the aspirations of the younger, and the younger generation has never tried to understand the motives of their elders. There is no more ridiculous, ironic and regrettable conflict.


    Soon the president and his guests arrived, and the dining room filled with conversation, jokes about the old days, the clinking of glasses and the clatter of forks on the glaze.


    The evening was more pleasant than I had expected, but I could not escape the strange sensation that came over me every time a new acquaintance''s eyes met mine.


    There was an incomprehensible remorse in the light blue, clear eyes, from beneath which a quiet sadness peeped out in waves ¨C not ostentatious and begging for universal pity, no, it was that special sadness that smolders ashes at the bottom of the soul, buried under a layer of contrived feelings and emotions.


    As we walked out into the corridor, Dav came up beside us, his cold palm touching my bare wrist, whether by accident or design. Our gazes crossed again.


    Once again I was stunned by those eyes. Even though Kai and Dav were siblings, born on the same day, they were so radically different. The fun and recklessness of one contrasted sharply with the seriousness and thoughtfulness of the other.


    The man paused for a moment, nodded and apologised.


    I grabbed Grant''s elbow and walk carefully up the stairs, my back feeling the attention. No matter how many times I looked back, the minister''s eldest son still stared at us regretfully, making me wonder why he was so interested in me.


    That''s how I met Dav. That''s how I met the man who divided my life into two parts, before I met him and after.


    And I didn''t even know then that there were no accidents. And it''s still a mystery to me what that meeting on a quiet May evening meant for us. A trial? A punishment? Or a gift of fate?


    I welcomed another Asanor into my life with a strained smile.

 35. Let them bloom sincerely

    The next day we got a surprise from the president. He came to our room early in the morning and shocked us with the news.


    ¡°Tonight you must visit the Sinist Tower. There''s a charity event at 8pm, don''t be late.¡±


    We hadn''t even tidied ourselves up yet and I was sitting sleepily in front of the mirror, trying to get the comb out of my tangled hair, while Grant was pacing the room with a toothbrush in his mouth. He had a strange habit of never brushing his teeth in front of the sink; he could spend half an hour trampling the carpet while polishing his already perfectly white teeth.


    The comb would have kissed the floor as it fell from my news-weakened hands, but it got caught in the tangled strands, so all we had for it was my resounding swallow to break the silence of the bedroom.


    ¡°From this day forward, you will attend the meetings I have scheduled for you,¡± he continued, seeing our silent confusion. The president looked from Grant to me, then back to his son. ¡°All right, be ready at seven.¡±


    Rizor was about to leave the bedroom when I suddenly remembered a small problem.


    ¡°One moment. What to do with the bomb around my neck?¡±


    The president paused for a second, then shrugged and said: ¡°We can''t magically hide it, since magic doesn''t work on it, we''ll say it''s a piece of jewellery.¡±


    My jaw almost greeted the floor that the comb should have kissed earlier. Who in their right mind would agree to wear these five kilos of literally killer choker around their neck?


    Looking ahead, I can say that this ¡®wonderful piece of jewellery¡¯ quickly became a spring trend. A week later, all the fashionistas in the capital were walking around with similar collars under their chins. Only their collars were made of lighter materials, much to the envy of my shoulders, which were already aching from the weight. And they weren''t filled with explosive substances based on magic and the latest military technology, which made them even more attractive to me¡­


    The door closed, cutting short my naive hopes of a peaceful existence until death. As lovely as our life at Asanor Manor had been, the good times were coming to an end.


    Since Grant had no training at his academy and was fooling around all day, the president decided to introduce his son to high society, so that his precious son could build relationships with the government and the prominent oligarchs of Unica (and not even think about Virtul at the same time).


    I was tired of fighting with my comb, so I grabbed my manicure scissors and cut the knots out of my hair, not too concerned about the future look of my hair. It was the last thing I wanted to worry about.


    I got up from the banquette and, like an apathetic zombie who had suddenly lost all appetite, walked to the bed, fell on the sheets, curled up and tried to make a nest out of the blankets.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Grant even took his toothbrush out of his mouth.


    ¡°I''m going to sleep. This morning started too badly, I need to sleep over this news to get used to it¡­¡±


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    ¡°Aren''t you going to breakfast?¡±


    I almost peeked out from under my pillow, but then I just shook my head. I don''t know if Circul Junior saw my gesture, but no one woke me until late afternoon. Either Grant had suddenly decided to fast, or he had ordered breakfast delivered to the bedroom, which was more likely. But I was so firmly ensconced in the world of my late morning nap that I didn''t even smell the food.


    Only nightmares could banish my endless silent grumbling against fate. Only nightmares could make every boring and pretentious party in the high society of Unica seem like a little walk to the nearest purgatory.


    I woke up very late. Yawned and wiped my sleepy eyes and swollen cheeks. The room was dim, the small lamp on the table by the window illuminating the corner and the armchair where Grant sat, already dressed in his finery.


    ¡°We leave in twenty minutes,¡± Cirkul informed colourlessly, taking a sip of coffee from his mug.


    I jumped up abruptly, hesitating whether to go straight to the dressing room or to the bathroom first.


    ¡°Couldn''t you have woken me earlier?¡± I muttered to the guy as I ran past.


    I picked out the first dress I could find in the dark, grabbed my shoes and hurried to brush my teeth. I didn''t bother with my long-suffering hair; I just put it in a bun, pinned it up and sprayed it with hairspray.


    I had no time for make-up, but I didn''t care about my appearance at the moment, I didn''t want to upset Rizor Circul by being late, our deadly contract had a clear clause about appointments and punctuality.


    ¡°Change, this dress is awful,¡± Grant ordered, giving me a sideways glance as I left the bathroom.


    ¡°I don''t want to. I''m comfortable in this one,¡± I sat in front of the mirror, choosing a pair of earrings to match the collar from the various sets the president had provided for tonight.


    Circul stood up, walked slowly around me in an arc, caught my eye in the reflection, smiled wryly, squinted, and happily poured the contents of his mug onto the sleeve of my dress.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I jumped up, gasping for breath with rage. If I''d ever come this close to killing another human being, it was this moment.


    The son of the head of the country grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dressing room. He rummaged through the clothes on the racks and pulled out a long brown dress with a small slit down the leg. He held it up to me and turned me around to face the mirror.


    ¡°That colour suits you.¡±


    I looked at myself in the mirror in disgust.


    ¡°I''m not going to wear this dress that''s the colour of a sewer. My life is bad enough, do you want me to show it to the world with the colour of my clothes?¡±


    He laughed and took a pair of black shoes from the shelf.


    ¡°And this bag,¡± the guy tossed me a coral clutch. ¡°It is perfectly mismatched, just what you need.¡±


    I gazed at all this stuff, imagined what I''d look like, and shrugged. I didn''t know much about high society fashion; Grant probably knew better. Maybe they all dressed as dummies and scarecrows.


    When I returned to the bedroom, Circul gave me a dark look and nodded in agreement. I had to change my earrings so as not to ruin the ridiculous picture.


    I glanced down with regret at the puddle of coffee on the floor next to the table. The coffee was so fragrant, he''d wasted it.


    ¡°Clean this place up,¡± Circul ordered, sitting back in his chair and looking like a world ruler.


    Outraged, I clenched my palms, itching to punch the face that smiled back at me.


    ¡°First you kill me, and now you want me to clean up my blood? You''re a real piece of work, Grant Circul.¡±


    He ignored me completely and I decided to channel my anger in the right direction. I swept some clean towels off the dresser, wiped the floor with them and threw them in the hamper.


    ¡°Are you going?¡± Kai knocked on the door.


    With a sigh, I looked at myself in the mirror once more. I knew I wouldn''t live long enough to be ashamed of this outfit for many days.


    ¡°You look gorgeous,¡± Grant took my right hand and placed it on his forearm. And I didn''t even know if it was an ironic statement of fact or an ironic mockery. Or both?


    ¡°What have I done to you?¡±


    ¡°Nothing, Siri. It''s just that you''re the only person I can annoy 24 hours a day.¡±


    I just hummed, remembering that in a little over two months I''d kill his father and run off to die in a beautiful place. I hoped the bomb would be removed by then so I wouldn''t have to make the biggest sacrifice to the bomb god ever.

 Let them bloom sincerely pt2

    I''d never imagined I''d be among the cream of society, escorted by the paparazzi who surrounded the red carpet. Grant smiled faintly, a charming smile on his face, and I gripped his hand, trying not to fall, because walking down a catwalk in high heels wasn''t on any column of my CV.


    As I learned from the journalists, Grant and I had been together for a long time, and today was the first time we had decided to reveal our romance to the world. I gritted my teeth, thinking of the president who''d caused all this fuss. But there was nothing we could do, we couldn''t leave each other''s side because of my special collar, so the only way to avoid questions was to pretend to be a couple in love.


    Circul Junior didn''t look surprised, it seemed that the long years of living next to his father had prepared him for every twist and turn of fate, while I struggled to contain my hysterical laughter as questions about our relationship were thrown at my poor psyche.


    ¡°Tell me, what do you know about each other?¡± one of the reporters just stunned me with his question.


    ¡°How long have you hidden the fact that you''re dating?¡± the woman in the thick black glasses shouted over the assembled group of journalists.


    ¡°His favourite colour?¡± they put a microphone to my mouth.


    ¡°Pink,¡± I said seriously, looking straight into the camera.


    For a moment our section of the red carpet fell silent as everyone looked at the unflappable Grant, who was simply irresistible today in his black bow tie and dark patent shoes. Shock. One middle-aged lady clutched her heart. Why were they all so impressionable?


    ¡°Not too pink, more like coral. Just like my bag,¡± I hastened to add as a calm one gave me a very painful but subtle pinch on the side of my arm.


    ¡°Did he give it to you?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I smiled sourly. I remembered how this bag had been ¡®given¡¯ to me.


    My new fictive boyfriend hastily ushered me into the building, away from my answers that could put shame on his head.


    ¡°We should have used the back door,¡± he exhaled quietly, holding out the invitation to the guard.


    I pretended it had nothing to do with me and smiled as I entered a world of luxury, expensive outfits, flashy gestures and delicious cakes at the buffet.


    The official part didn''t last too long, a few people asked for donations for the endangered beaver species in the local forests, then the musicians came out and the evening took on a more relaxed atmosphere.


    We stood by the columns near the balcony and occasionally people came up to us, greeted Grant and nodded at me, asking where Rizor Circul was, to which the young man shrugged his shoulders and smiled charmingly, skilfully avoiding answering. We didn''t know ourselves why the president was late.


    A few girls rustled their skirts as they walked past. They stopped not far from us, sipping champagne from flutes.


    I wouldn''t have noticed them if it hadn''t been for the half-loud phrases thrown my way. ¡°How can he be going out with her?¡± ¡°Did you see her dress? What dumpster did she find it in?¡± ¡°No, the dress is from Murini''s latest collection, it''s worth...¡± ¡°Still, she''s not his equal. What''s his father looking at? I hope it won''t come to marriage. Only the elite can marry the elite, and this one is a commoner...¡±


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    I grimaced. Although I wasn''t happy about our ¡®suddenly romantic¡¯ relationship with Grant, it was still unseemly to openly discuss our inequality. Even for me.


    ¡°This one''s a cabbage,¡± Circul turned to me and whispered in my ear. His palm pointed at the last girl to speak.


    ¡°What are you trying to say?¡±


    ¡°She looks like a cabbage. Ten coats and three sweaters underneath. And this one looks like a carrot,¡± the guy grinned as he took a cocktail from the waiter''s tray. ¡°Flabby skin, stretched figure and a ponytail.¡±


    ¡°It''s not nice to talk about people like that.¡±


    ¡°Tell them that,¡± he handed me a glass. ¡°Do you want one?¡±


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I thanked him for more than just the drink. My mood had lifted.


    For the rest of the boring party, Grant and I played a game of ¡®ask the most ridiculous or unexpected question¡¯. We had never been interested in each other''s pasts before, but now we were asking about everything.


    Circul Junior kept asking me how old I was, or what my real name was, or what I used to do in the past, while I kept tormenting him with questions about studying at the closed military academy, and why he went to the Kingdom of Rit to get an education instead of staying in our glorious and great Unica.


    But we did shed some light on a few questions. For example, what were our favourite childhood cartoon characters, who did we dream of being when we were little, what books and films did we not like, what games did we play before Virtul.


    Sometimes Grant could be really charming.


    ¡°May I have a word with you?¡± the secretary Mirk bowed slightly to my companion.


    The guy looked at me, let go of my hand and stepped aside with Anaris. They talked seriously, Grant frowning a few times. I was actually worried, afraid that something might have happened to the president. It would be terrible if he died before I got to him.


    Although I still had no idea how I was going to kill him...


    I exhaled, chasing the thoughts away. My eyes wandered to the buffet table. I glanced back at Circul Junior, roughly calculating the distance, and lightheartedly picked up the snacks.


    My mood was always easy to manipulate, the smell of food on the horizon brought a smile to my lips. I sipped champagne and happily took a bite of truffle cake.


    ¡°Is this your first time here? I''ve never seen you before,¡± said a small young man of about my age. The collar of his white tails was embroidered with jewels.


    ¡°Yes, you''re right,¡± I only glanced in his direction once, busy picking out another treat.


    ¡°You have a very nice collar, Siri... twenty-two. Too bad the magic inside isn''t as beautiful.¡±


    I froze, my hand hovering over the blueberry cream cakes.


    ¡°How do you know that?¡±


    ¡°But there is also something beautiful in death...¡± he said as if he hadn''t heard me.


    ¡°Who are you? How do you know...¡±


    ¡°Siri!¡± Grant grabbed my elbow and spun me around. He was angry, his black eyes ready to burn away what little pride I had left. ¡°Never, never do that again! Never leave me,¡± Circul blurted, dragging me towards the exit.


    I turned my head to look for my last interlocutor, but he had disappeared into the crowd. It was only in the couloir that a light breeze announced his presence.


    ¡°My name is Non. Remember that name, Siri,¡± the man whispered as he passed.


    I only had time to look round to see his back and his long white hair, carelessly braided.


    ¡°I almost went mad when I saw you leave,¡± Grant scolded me. ¡°You couldn''t stand still for a minute?¡±


    ¡°I just went to the snack table.¡±


    ¡°Even two steps away from where you were standing, you should have warned me!¡± It was the first time he had ever raised his voice to me so sharply.


    I tightened my clutch and tried to hold back the tears. The whole injustice of the situation made me want to cry, to feel pity for myself and to cradle my soul, wounded by the unfair accusations. But I exhaled quietly, humbling my pride: ¡°I''m sorry.¡±


    I was so tired from the short day that I decided not to argue, to save my nerve cells. We waited in silence for the car.


    Circul seemed to calm down after my apology; he leaned back relaxed, rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers and ruffled his hair.


    ¡°Today was the pre-election. According to the polls, my father didn''t get enough votes,¡± he said, looking out of the window.


    I glanced at the young man, not knowing what to say. Should I be happy? Comfort him? Laugh or cry? The more time passed, the more my heart became entangled in its own intricacies about the Circul family and the bomb situation itself.


    And sometimes I forgot about Virtul, sometimes I forgot why I hated Grant''s family and my life. It didn''t scare me yet, but it made me think. The closer I got to the seventeenth of July, the day the contract expired, the more doubts crept into my soul.

 Let them bloom sincerely pt3

    We had reached Asanor Manor too quickly and I hadn''t had time to calm my anxious heart, so while I waited for the bathroom to clear, I decided to escape into the universe I had been indulging in for the past few days.


    As the great men have said, ¡°Literature is the most pleasant way to ignore life¡±. What''s true is true.


    Riate had just solved a cipher made up of the names of curses, Lucky had become a ¡®flea dragon¡¯ and Yurao had ¡®kidnapped¡¯ Deya for another investigation. I reached out my hand and caressed the cover of the book with my palm. No matter what marvels of technology mankind had invented, no matter what magic they had devised, nothing created an atmosphere of calm and fairytale reality like an ordinary paper book that smelled of printing ink, that my hands were tired of holding, but that was so pleasant to leaf through and play with the corners of the pages with my fingers.


    Ardam was preparing for the celebration of the Death of Winter, fluffy snow falling from the sky, white flakes decorating the capital of the Borderlands. It smelled of freshly baked goods and blackberry jam, and the anticipation of wonder wafted along with the sweet aromas. A messenger knocked on the window, and Deya opened the window sash, picked up the envelope, and smiled at the ghostly wings. The girl ran her eyes over the lines, closed her eyelids for a moment, took a deep breath and made a very difficult decision.


    ¡°Rian,¡± she turned around and collected her thoughts for a while before she looked into the black sparkling eyes and said confidently...


    ¡°Siri, have you seen the new shampoo?¡±


    I rolled my eyes and exhaled grudgingly: ¡°It''s on the third shelf in the second cabinet to the right of the sink.¡±


    ¡°What? I didn''t hear you very well.¡±


    ¡°On the third shelf!¡± I shouted and returned to the fictional world, taking the fifth volume of my favourite fantasy series from the bedside table.


    ¡°A glance is your mistake. One single glance. You gave yourself away, Deya...¡±


    These words set butterflies in my stomach. They fluttered into the sky and tickled my chest.


    ¡°Where are the towels?¡±


    ¡°In the hamper.¡±


    ¡°But they''re dirty!¡± said Circul in an offended tone.


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    I raised my eyes to the ceiling, sighed, and got up to grab a towel from the wardrobe. Hung it on the handle of the ajar bathroom door and returned to the book.


    Grant emerged from the steamy bathroom a few minutes later, ruffling his wet hair to make it dry faster. The young man poured water into a glass and drank.


    ¡°I''m bored,¡± he broke the silence of the bedroom.


    He was so annoying! As soon as I sat down to read a book, Grant was there to distract me. I wished he''d just stumble in the middle of nowhere and get heartburn from his constant nagging. I was tired of him pacing from one corner to the next, not knowing what to do.


    ¡°How about a game of cards?¡± Circul asked hopefully.


    I realised that Kai had decided to play on the phone himself tonight. The president''s secretaries were quick to confiscate our gadgets when they saw we were getting them back with the help of the Asanor brothers and sometimes even grandfather Gisborne. The Rizor Circul¡¯s maximum security prison worked well.


    ¡°Well, do you want to play?¡± asked the guy.


    I completely ignored his question.


    A disgruntled Circul sat in his chair for a few minutes, looking up at the moon.


    ¡°I''m turning off the lights,¡± Grant clapped his hands, and the room went dark.


    I held my breath and covered my eyes to keep from bursting. My patience was wearing thin after an exhausting evening, and the last of my energy was spent on ¡®cool and calm, just calm¡¯.


    Hmm, looks like I''ll never finish this book.


    The young man walked towards the bed, but in the darkness he caught his foot on the banquette. I hoped it was his little toe. The guy groaned and cursed in two non-literal languages, one native and one foreign.


    Yes, I think it was the little finger.


    Retribution retaliated. It was almost instant karma. I imperceptibly exhaled happily, thanking the heavens for such a gift.


    But then I couldn''t stand it anymore and I laughed all through the house. Accompanied by my sobs of laughter, Grant made it to the bed, climbed under the covers and turned away, his nose buried in the pillow.


    ¡°You''re such a child sometimes, you know?¡± I asked.


    It was true, wasn''t it?


    He sniffled angrily for a few minutes and then actually fell asleep.


    My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I easily found the top of this naughty guy''s head, whose bouts of adulthood were punctuated by frequent trips back to childhood.


    He was so elegant at the party, he spoke fancy words, people listened to him, some were even afraid of him, he looked so good in that black tailored suit with the waistcoat under the jacket, his hair styled, the sparkle in his black eyes, his lips curved in a perpetual grin on his pale face, but now...


    My hands were itching to cuddle this mischievous kitten.


    For about five minutes I held back as best I could, but the last vestiges of self-control fell away, discreetly, barely touching, I stroked his damp, post-shower hair.


    If Circul Junior had purred now, I would have been less frightened, but the boy laughed softly in his sleep, making my heart sink ¨C I had never heard him laugh with such sincerity before. Perhaps it was his first real emotion since the displeasure and arrogant curiosity he''d shown beside me.


    And that made my heart bitter. I also laughed with him sometimes, although I cried more often, but that was not the important thing.


    I too let my emotions bloom sincerely next to him.

 36. Forfeits

    The secretary used a magic thread to bind Grant''s and my wrists together during parties. It took a lot of energy to do this all the time, but it was enough for a few hours while the boring official part of the evening went on. If we got within eight metres of each other, the invisible thread would tighten and prevent us from walking any further.


    I could breathe more freely without the chain.


    But Grant often took advantage of his position to taunt me. For example, when I put my hand across the buffet table to pick up a favourite cake, I was suddenly unable to take a step because at the other end of the hall, leaning against a column, was Grant, smiling sweetly. I didn''t stoop so low and consoled myself with the fact that I was the more mature, intelligent, clever and wise of the two of us.


    When it came to dancing, we couldn''t dance with anyone else. Besides, I didn''t know how to dance, and Circul Junior didn''t want to get to know the female colour of the nation. Or maybe he was just shy of inviting other girls who were looking at him, or maybe he was just squeamish.


    So, during the obligatory rounds of dancing, we had to stand somewhere in the corner, facing each other, holding hands and playing ¡®press me down all my toes¡¯. We took it in turns to win, so I generally preferred dull banquets to balls.


    But what I liked most about the whole situation was observing people''s behaviour. Some of them were quite comfortable in society, others, and this was obvious to the naked eye, were looking for good connections. The former usually talked in established circles and rarely changed their social circle, while the latter never exchanged a word with their peers and were eager to part as soon as they met and felt the ¡®kinship¡¯ of the lucky ones who had found their way into high society.


    Sometimes, out of idleness, I would pick up prop cards at fundraisers. And whenever Grant would ask me, ¡°What do you need them for?¡± I''d shrug and say, ¡°I don''t know. They''re just pretty. Maybe they''ll come in handy.¡±


    It was at one of the most boring banquets that I met Taehee. Her father was an ambassador for the Kingdom of Rith, so the winds of politics had brought this charming girl to our capital.


    I bumped into her by chance after asking Grant to go to the toilet and seeing her on the sofa in the ladies'' room. The stranger''s long brown hair was tangled in bobby pins, so I offered to help. And while I was freeing her hair from the pins, we got to talking.


    It turned out that Taehee had known the brothers Kai, Dav and Grant since childhood. The first thing we agreed on was our mutual dislike of Barg, the Asanor pug.


    She also played Virtul and was upset that it had been banned in Unica. We mourned that fact for a while.


    ¡°Wait,¡± she called to me as I was about to leave. ¡°Can''t you help me a little more?¡±


    In her spare time, the ambassador''s daughter wrote freelance articles for well-known magazines and dreamed of becoming a famous writer.


    ¡°Can you answer some questions for my new work?¡±


    I nodded and made myself comfortable in my seat once more.


    ¡°What is love to you?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I furrowed my eyebrows slightly.


    Taehee laughed, seeing my wary look. ¡°I am doing a survey: ¡®What does it mean to love?¡¯ Some people say it means being sincere and respecting each other''s opinions.¡±


    ¡°Got it,¡± I inhaled deeply, trying to remember all my thoughts on the matter.


    There have been times when I too have wondered about this eternal and beautiful feeling.


    ¡°Do you think I''m crazy?¡± I asked, after a long rant about love.


    ¡°No, I believe every word you say,¡± the girl switched off the recorder and looked at me seriously.


    ¡°Good,¡± I smiled, it was nice to have a heart-to-heart with someone almost my age who could listen and keep the conversation going. ¡°If you ever need help, just ask.¡±


    I grabbed my coral clutch and headed for the exit, trying to imagine what kind of beating I was going to get. We chatted on the sofas for over half an hour and I didn''t even want to think about the angry Grant who had to ¡®prop up¡¯ the ladies'' room door all the time.


    Surprisingly, it wasn''t just Circul Junior who greeted me with a reproachful look, Kai Asanor finished the joke he''d been telling his cousin and then smiled at me and the new acquaintance who followed me.


    ¡°Taehee, what a reunion!¡± the blonde haired guy hugged his old friend happily. ¡°I haven''t seen you for about five years. How long are you staying with us?¡±


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    The ambassador''s equally happy daughter couldn''t get a word in edgewise over the incessant cooing of Asanor, who put a hand on her shoulder and led her towards the main hall.


    ¡°We''re leaving, have a good night,¡± Grant said goodbye, nudging me in the opposite direction. ¡°It was nice to see you, Taehee.¡±


    ¡°Right now?¡± the disappointment in Kai''s voice wasn''t fake. ¡°I just wanted to try those chocolate brownies they promised to serve at the end of dinner.¡±


    ¡°You can stay,¡± Circul said quietly, taking the chain from the briefcase one of the secretaries had handed him.


    With a sigh, I glanced down at the jingling chain, craning my neck to make it easier to hook the metal leash, which shimmered in the glow of the magical lights from the chandeliers.


    ¡°No way. Your father asked me to keep an eye on you two and I won''t let you go alone...¡± Asanor was already walking towards us. ¡°By the way, Taehee, you should come and visit us. You can come tomorrow, we''ll be waiting for you.¡±


    The girl blushed with embarrassment; Kai''s last words had sounded too enchanting. ¡°Oh, good. I''ll bring the brownie you wanted.¡±


    ¡°Yes, come, Barg misses you,¡± Grant smiled faintly, and it wasn''t clear whether he was mocking or actually saying what he thought.


    ¡°I missed him too,¡± Taehee grinned, her eyes gleaming. ¡°I''ll drop by. Do you mind?¡± she turned to me.


    ¡°Do I mind? No, I''m all for it. You have no idea how tired I am of Grant. It''s impossible to be in the same room with him for more than two hours.¡±


    ¡°Siri, I''ll remember that for you,¡± Circul came up behind me and rested his chin on my shoulder.


    ¡°Yes, Siri, you shouldn''t have said that. He''ll really remember,¡± Kai looked at me as if I were a terminally ill person who was having his coffin pillow fluffed tomorrow. ¡°I don''t envy you... He''s vindictive.¡±


    I realised that. But it was too late to take back what I had said.


    ¡°So don''t envy her. She''s mine,¡± Grant dragged me towards the exit. ¡°I''m the only one who can get revenge on her.¡±


    The next morning it really came back to me. Circul Junior had been lying on the bed with his arms crossed over his chest for three hours, refusing to get up. After unsuccessfully trying to drag him in the direction of food, I trampled on my pride and listed all the hundred reasons (which he insisted I name, to please his ego) why I appreciated having him as my ¡®bomb-disaster roommate¡¯.


    He smiled as if nothing had happened, got up and walked lightly toward the stairs to the ground floor. I was tired, both physically and mentally, and I stared at him, gloating and anticipating how he would get out of this and come up with a hundred reasons why I was so good.


    As long as the chain would allow, I dashed into the bathroom. The marble base of the sink was welded to the floor, so I wasn''t afraid it would break off while I was holding on. But even though I was lighter than Grant, it was hard to pry my fingers from the cold stone. No matter how much the guy tickled me, I didn''t give in.


    Then Circul used the unfair trick of letting Barg into the bathroom. I''d never run around Grant''s bedroom like that before, fleeing from a barking dog and a robot trying to catch it.


    Pug thought it was all a game, the robot thought it was important to save me from the animal before I had a heart attack, and the president''s son laughed and cried.


    Our morning idyll would have turned into a lunchtime idyll, but Gisborne came in, whacked all four of us on our soft (and some of us plastic) bottoms with a cane, grumbled that he was disturbing his daytime sleep, and sent us all off to community work.


    Barg was taken outside to guard the empty booth at the gate, the robot to vacuum the carpets, and Grant and I, as the instigators of the whole mess, were deprived of lunch and forced to peel potatoes under the supervision of the vigilant Midi, who had just arrived from the residence.


    Our life at the manor was limited to three main activities. In the evenings, we attended the charity parties of famous companies or the dinners of prominent political figures. No matter how monotonous such days seemed, Kai Asanor and Taehee often brightened the dullness of high society.


    At that time, we were very mischievous, but only in small ways, for fear of facing the wrath of Rizor Circul.


    As well as attending all sorts of parties, we practised magic. Every three days, the president would send Grant and me to Oblivion so that his son could learn to control his second gift in the Labyrinths while using his first.


    Unfortunately, there were no more mages in our country who could control emotions, and the possibilities of such rare abilities could only be learned by trial and error.


    And as much as I didn''t like this scary magical dimension, it was still a place where Grant could unleash his magic without hurting people. I could feel him on the edge when he hadn''t trained for a while, sparks of fire in his hair and anger in his eyes that made us fight twice as often.


    Nothing annoyed me more than not being able to slam the door loudly and walk away with my head held high after another argument. I had to pant with rage and endure Grant''s angry stare, which chilled my heart and made it hard to think or breathe.


    I also kept up with the guy when we were on our own in the vast, deserted world. I found a book of air spells in the library, and with the interest of a sociopathic scientist, I used them on the atmosphere.


    A few times Oblivion was hit by hurricane cataclysms of local scale, I liked to summon magical tornadoes and destroy forests, fields and even mountains with them. Only in the Labyrinths of Oblivion was it possible to be yourself, to face your fears, to let go of bad thoughts, to erase the limits of possibility.


    After returning from the dimension, I felt surprisingly calm. Even though we were exhausted and had to sleep for twenty-four hours to recover, I had never felt as peaceful as I did after our magical training.


    Grant was getting better at controlling his power every day, my magic was growing by leaps and bounds, and we were no longer killing each other to escape to the real world; instead, each time the president dragged us back to reality, it was a disappointment. For a while at least, Oblivion had replaced Virtul for us.


    Often, when we had just recovered from another trip to the Labyrinths, we would sit in the small living room by the fireplace. There were always plenty of cushions and delicious food, and Kai would come over to watch us eat and relieve our boredom. Taehee would often join us too, and we could lie on the sofas and carpet and bask in the warmth of the fire all day.


    Midi called us ¡®lazy cats¡¯, who did nothing but fawn upon her for more sweets. Even Barg, at such times, was infected by the general atmosphere of apathy and slept soundly on his bed.

 Forfeits pt2

    ¡°So, ladies,¡± Kai lifted his blue eyes and looked at us with a grin, ¡°let me remind you that the stakes have been raised for this round. The penalty will now be auntie Midea''s healthy herbal drink. Anyone who fails to complete the task will have to drink the penalty. Are you ready?¡±


    Taehee and I looked at each other and nodded. The green sludge in the jug was frightening, but the prize was too big and too tempting. It was hard to give it up so easily.


    ¡°You have to make a syllogism using the following words: ¡®sea¡¯, ¡®temperature¡¯ and ¡®planet¡¯. You have forty seconds,¡± Dav read out the task.


    ¡°I''ve got it,¡± my neighbour raised her hand almost immediately. I marvelled once again at her brain, which was thinking at the speed of light. ¡°The average temperature of the planet is rising. The number of pirates on the high seas is falling. So pirates are keeping global warming in check.¡±


    Grant furrowed his brow but nodded in agreement. Dav shrugged his shoulders and Kai said in displeasure: ¡°Even if the words weren''t all used correctly, we''ll make it count.¡±


    ¡°Now you, Siri,¡± the eldest Asanor turned to me. ¡°Doctor¡¯, ¡®stubbornness¡¯, ¡®advice¡¯. Clock''s ticking.¡±


    I bit my lower lip, trying to string the words together.


    ¡°Twenty seconds,¡± Kai said with anticipation, looking at the stopwatch.


    Stubbornness... stubbornness? Stubbornly, I couldn''t come up with any normal ideas. Where would my logic come from if I couldn''t even put words together?


    ¡°Thirty seconds.¡±


    Grasshoppers crackled in my head and the wind blew across the steppe.


    ¡°Forty seconds, time''s up!¡±


    ¡°I''ve done it!¡± I blurted out.


    ¡°We''re all ears,¡± Kai leaned forward, but I could see in his cheeky, amused eyes that he was just waiting for me to lose and drink a glass of healthy herbal smoothie in shame.


    But I didn''t want to live up to his expectations.


    ¡°There''s nothing wrong with doctors'' advice,¡± I began in a newsreader''s tone. ¡°The autopsy showed that the patient died from the autopsy,¡± I paused, exhaled and took a breath. ¡°Doctors'' statistics are stubborn things,¡± I added, shrugging my shoulders.


    Taehee burst out laughing and held out her palm for a high five. Kai, though frustrated, laughed too. Circul frowned, trying to find a syllogism in my speech.


    ¡°Okay, good count,¡± Kai''s older twin brother smiled weakly.


    Dav smiled surprisingly little, so the fact that the corners of his lips lifted just a millimetre was an achievement. I''d never heard him laugh before.


    Grant grinned and clapped his hands playfully. He seemed to understand.


    ¡°I hope I don''t have to remember any poems in the next task, otherwise I might drink this smoothie right now,¡± Kai laughed almost every five minutes, in contrast to his brother.


    Once again I looked at the twins with interest, they were so similar on the outside and so strikingly different on the inside.


    We drew lots and the move went to Dav.


    ¡°Name three negative traits of your character...¡± he read the card. ¡°Hmm... Cruelty,¡± he bent the first finger. ¡°Softness.¡±


    I raised my eyebrows. Weren''t these characteristics contradictory?


    ¡°And... well, hypocrisy,¡± the guy bent a third finger.


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    ¡°Scored,¡± Grant said, picking up the die for the draw.


    ¡°Speed Tie Laces. Since it''s your turn, Grant, choose an opponent,¡± Dav placed the forfeit card in the pile of cards already played.


    ¡°Kai?¡± the president''s son asked predatorily, challenging his cousin to a duel.


    Only me and Dav wore laced shoes. Circul decided to tie my trainers and Kai got his older brother''s boots.


    ¡°Tying a basic knot?¡± Kai turned and met his cousin''s gaze.


    ¡°Would you like a slipped reef knot?¡± Grant snorted.


    ¡°No, a basic knot will do.¡±


    ¡°Ready, set, go!¡± Taehee lowered her hand.


    I was really rooting for Kai, wishing that Circul Junior would taste the penalty drink, but my hope died in a moment of agony. Grant completed the task quickly, but his cousin couldn''t tie the laces on Dav''s left boot; the latter was just mocking him, not letting him catch his foot.


    Although the expression of annoyance on Kai''s face was also warming. You should have seen the sour look on his face as he drained the glass.


    The next round went to me.


    ¡°Pick a player and describe his clothes in non-existent colours.¡±


    ¡°That''s no fun, let the other player describe it back,¡± it was obvious that Kai was eager for battles. ¡°We''ll vote for the winner afterwards.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± I looked around the company and stopped at the smiling Circul. ¡°Grant, your shirt is the colour of an unconscious flea.¡±


    The guy grinned, showing his snow-white teeth.


    ¡°Your hair is the colour of a spider planning a crime,¡± he replied.


    ¡°The belt on your trousers is the colour of dead hope,¡± I continued.


    ¡°Your blouse is the colour of a suspected rat.¡±


    ¡°Your socks are the colour of an angry hedgehog.¡±


    The others watched our discussion with interest, whispering bets about who would run out of imagination first.


    ¡°Your trainers are the colour of the inspiration to do nothing.¡±


    I narrowed my eyes. He touched my trainers, he stepped on the sacred thing.


    ¡°Your underwear is the colour of a hamster''s belly!¡±


    ¡°How do you know that?¡± Grant''s eyes widened.


    ¡°I saw you take it to the bathroom today.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± the guy exhaled. ¡°And your jeans are the colour of a dull dragonfly.¡±


    ¡°The strap of your watch is the colour of a sly cat that has been caught stealing.¡±


    ¡°Okay, okay, break,¡± Kai stopped us. ¡°Enough, we can already vote.¡±


    ¡°I vote for Siri,¡± Taehee smiled warmly at me.


    ¡°I''m for Grant,¡± Dav said. I didn''t expect that from him.


    Preferences have been evenly split so far.


    ¡°Sorry mate, but I''m giving my vote to Siri. It''s nothing personal,¡± Kai smiled and patted Grant on the shoulder.


    ¡®I just wanted to see you wrinkle your nose at a penalty¡¯ ¨C I read in his blue eyes.


    ¡°I suggest we play again. Let someone ask a question about a colour that neither of us knows the answer to. The person who guesses the colour wins,¡± Grant stopped me from cheering.


    I squeezed my eyes shut. I was clearly being played.


    ¡°Winner takes all. In this case, he won''t be drinking this very healthy green smoothie,¡± the grin on my enemy''s son''s face was unbelievable.


    ¡°But I''ve already won. You have to drink it.¡±


    ¡°The loser drinks two glasses.¡±


    ¡°Okay, it''s a deal,¡± I was so easily fooled into taking a gamble.


    Circul smiled charmingly.


    ¡°I''ll ask the question,¡± Kai said excitedly. ¡°What colour is the label on Barg''s favourite toy?¡±


    ¡°White!¡± I blurted out. ¡°It''s white.¡±


    My opponent thought for a moment, then shrugged: ¡°Let it be yellow.¡±


    Kai brought Barg''s favourite plush crocodile and showed us the label sewn onto the animal''s soft back. It was orange.


    ¡°I was the closest,¡± Grant grinned.


    ¡°Yeah, you win,¡± said Kai regretfully. ¡°It''s almost yellow.¡±


    ¡°What? But how?¡± I glared angrily at the blond traitor.


    ¡°Drink, Siri,¡± they placed two glasses of green sludge in front of me. ¡°Bottoms up.¡±


    This Grant... why did I want to call him ¡®Pomegranate¡¯? Bad pomegranate, always tormenting my innocent and trembling soul.


    And I, cursing myself for agreeing to the guy''s proposal, wrinkled my nose, shuddered and drank both glasses. The taste would be my nightmare for a long time to come.


    ¡°And this task is for everyone. A quote that brings tears to your eyes,¡± Dav continued as if nothing had happened. ¡°Siri?¡±


    ¡°Gooseberry tart, lilac sweet,¡± said I.


    ¡°Oh-oh,¡± Taehee and Kai replied. It was nice to know that they had also read one of my favourite series.


    ¡°And they lived a short and unhappy life, and one day died in terrible convulsions...¡± the girl recited.


    ¡°Where did you read that?¡±


    ¡°It was some fluff fanfiction story, but the author ruined the good impression with his last words,¡± the ambassador''s daughter frowned.


    Dav shared a totally unexpected quote. I didn''t know he was such a romantic. ¡®Our lives go on, even when love ends¡­¡¯ and there was so much tender sadness in his smile after he said those words that I immediately stopped laughing.


    ¡°Even if I reach out to you, you will vanish like a dream...¡± Grant added in a quiet voice.


    ¡°The quotes from you are really... I feel like crying. When I decided to live as a mere mortal in a university dormitory for two weeks, there was an announcement on the door of one of the houses next to mine: ¡®Dear tenants! The hot water in your house will be turned off for the week. For a fee, we can turn off the hot water in the neighbouring houses, so that you will not be so offended¡¯. That really brings tears to my eyes,¡± Kai burst into laughter.


    ¡°Drink!¡± we were all unanimous in pointing him in the direction of the penalty drink.

 37. Remember this day, Siri

    I loved those evenings. Taehee and I had a lot in common, we enjoyed each other''s company. Kai and I always made fun of Grant, we had the same antics, the same cockroaches in our brains and the same sense of humour. Dav seemed like an adult big brother. Even though he was only a few minutes older than Kai. Still, of all of us, he was the most established and formed individual.


    ¡°What unusual animal would you have?¡±


    Grant immediately frowned and said, ¡°None. I''ll never get a pet.¡±


    ¡° Why?¡± I couldn''t help asking.


    Circul Junior looked at me and inquired in surprise: ¡°Have you forgotten? I''m allergic to anything that moves.¡±


    There was so much reproach in his gaze that I didn''t have the heart to say anything sarcastic in reply.


    ¡°Okay, next,¡± Dav revealed a new card.  ¡°Grant, you''ve had it again. ¡®Which flower are you?¡¯ It''s a two-person task. Who''s it gonna be?¡±


    ¡°Siri.¡±


    I almost threw a sofa cushion at the guy. Is he trying to get me completely drunk on this healthy drink?


    ¡°So what kind of flower are you?¡± Kai leaned back in his chair, ready to listen.


    ¡°Edelweiss.¡±


    ¡°No, you''re more of a black batflower,¡± I interjected.


    ¡°Why?¡± Kai and Taehee asked almost in unison.


    Dav had just brought a botany reference book from the library.


    Circul opened the table of contents and flipped through a few pages.


    ¡°Here. ¡®A very rare mountain flower called edelweiss is a sign of fidelity, of love. It''s very unusual. The Erians say it is a silver flower. To the people of the Kingdom of Rith, it is the star of the Moon Mountains. Like all mountain flowers, it loves sunlight. It grows in the snow on the edge of the high mountains. Not everyone can see it, let alone pick it. It is a rare plant, only those with love in their hearts can find it. You have to be skilled and strong to reach it. But the one who loves unforgettably will get it. But he must also be worshipped. Only mountains do not yield to everyone, much less their summits...¡± read the guy.


    ¡°It''s beautiful, but it doesn''t sound like you,¡± I grimaced and reached for the book. ¡°The black batflower is the devil''s flower...¡± I announced inspiredly, ¡°a flower that looks very much like a black bat hanging from a twig, waiting for night to come. Especially when closed, these wonderful plants resemble ¡®bloodthirsty bloodsuckers¡¯. When the strange flowers open, the resemblance to the bat fades, but a new association emerges ¨C long cosmic tentacles growing out of the calyx, trying to grasp everything within their reach. The length of these filiform serpents can be up to forty centimetres, creating a feeling of endless terror and no possibility of hiding from the plant monster...¡±


    ¡°Where do I look like that?¡±


    ¡°You also frighten people with your temper. This flower is disliked and even feared in the realm where it grows. And it''s black, like your eyes.¡±


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    Grant glared at me angrily; he didn''t like it when I tried to piss him off. So what? It was his own fault, who was responsible for the sour taste of grass in my mouth?


    ¡°No, that''s not good enough. Let''s have some normal flowers that everyone knows and that don''t hurt personalities,¡± Kai handed me back the reference book he''d been looking at while Cirkul and I exchanged glances.


    I sighed and opened the first page I came to.


    ¡®The foalfoot (mother-and-stepmother)... the underside is fluffy and soft ¨C ¡®mother¡¯, and the top is smooth and cold ¨C ¡®stepmother¡¯. People say: ¡°A mother loves as the summer sun warms, but a stepmother does not ¨C she is cold as the winter sun¡±.


    This plant has another rather rare peculiarity ¨C its flowers appear before the leaves. The Ritanians call it ¡®son before father¡¯.


    It grows well on the remains of fires, where there are no competing plants, and the excellent fertiliser ¨C ash ¨C encourages its rapid growth. If you dig up the ground in the part of the forest, especially the spruce forest, where it grows, you will find charcoal ¨C the trace of a fire long ago...¡¯ I read to myself.


    Ash... it grows in ash, Grant''s eyes and hair are that colour in the light if you look closely from a distance.


    ¡°Foalfoot. Kind on the inside and rough on the outside. Like flower petals,¡± I smiled, remembering the few times Circul Junior had clumsily protected me. He''d tried to cheer me up when I''d been too sad, and he''d always made me angry when I''d been apathetic.


    I also remembered the way he''d laughed in his sleep, the way he''d looked at Mati in Oblivion, not at all cruel and prickly. There was still room in his heart for gentleness and generosity, unlike his father, who was ruthless to the core.


    Grant''s eyes brightened, but only for a moment before I continued, ¡°And he also does things first and then thinks about them and deals with the consequences. It''s like the foalfoot. This flower blooms first, and then it has leaves.¡±


    ¡°Okay, Siri. What kind of flower are you?¡± Kai asked.


    ¡°Dandelion,¡± said Grant.


    ¡°Why''s that?¡± I wasn''t keen on the role of this unattractive plant.


    ¡°The dandelion, like the white lily or the marigold, can serve as an accurate clock. In clear summer weather, its inflorescences open at six o''clock in the morning and close at three in the afternoon. The Erians, for example, used to keep track of morning and afternoon time by the flowers that grew nearby ¨C they are poppies, dandelions and...¡± Grant read. ¡°You can also use Siri to check the time.¡±


    ¡°How do you do that?¡± the younger Asanor asked, laughing.


    ¡°Siri''s stomach always rumbles at lunchtime, she starts yawning at eight o''clock in the evening, but falls asleep at two in the morning. And she doesn''t wake up until eleven,¡± he told us.


    I had no idea that Grant-Pomegranate had learned my habits so thoroughly. I looked at him and couldn''t think of a single thing to say. What did he love, what did he like? I only knew his dislikes, like Midi''s smoothie, dumplings, alarm clocks, parties and animals.


    ¡°Okay, Grant, you''ve won Siri again. Siri?¡± Kai served me another glass of disgusting smoothie.


    I gave Circul the scariest look I could muster, held my breath and drank it all in one go. It seemed I had more than just bad luck in my games of rock-paper-scissors with my enemy number two. That smiling bastard had managed to beat me at everything.


    The lot had fallen to the guy again, and I was no longer surprised. Grant had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and so he went on with his life, throwing his luck around.


    Dav picked up the forfeit card, ran his eyes over the lines and for the first time that evening he burst out laughing: ¡°Drink any juice/milk/soda out of a saucer.¡±


    ¡°There''s no juice, but there''s Midi''s smoothie!¡± Kai jumped up from his seat and brought a second pitcher of green sludge.


    ¡°Well, that''s not fair...¡± Circul made a pitiful face.


    We emptied a shallow plate of biscuits and filled it to the brim with the housekeeper''s drink. Karma had finally caught up with Grant. We cheered madly as we watched the guy prepare to drink the disgusting smoothie.


    But in the end, as if nothing had happened, he carefully drained his plate. He didn''t even grimace!


    ¡°Oh, right...¡± Kai chuckled bitterly. ¡°You can''t taste the flavour.¡±


    Grant sat down in his former seat with a satisfied look on his face.


    ¡°Shall we continue the game?¡±


    We nodded silently, frustrated and deprived of the epic spectacle.

 Remember this day, Siri pt2

    This time it was Dav''s turn. He read out his task.


    ¡°Hide and seek? Come on...¡± Kai stretched lazily and ran out of the living room faster than anyone else.


    ¡°We''re only hiding on the ground floor,¡± Dav barely had time to say after him.


    Cirkul walked over to me and wrapped the chain around his fist so it wouldn''t get in the way under our feet.


    ¡°Let''s go, I know where he won''t find us,¡± he grabbed my elbow and pulled me towards the exit.


    ¡°I have heard everything. Is that a challenge?¡± Asanor said. He seemed excited.


    We walked to the farthest wing of the mansion, where I''d never been before. Grant quietly opened the door and we found ourselves in a huge, dark study.


    ¡°Who is there?¡± Gisborne, who seemed to have dozed peacefully in his chair before we arrived, asked sharply.


    ¡°Grandpa, I''m sorry to bother you,¡± the guy said, leading me purposefully to the long desk by the window.


    Five minutes passed, then we heard someone laughing loudly somewhere at the back of the house. It sounded as if Kai had been found. There was a knock on the study door and then his older brother appeared.


    ¡°Good evening,¡± the young man entered and nodded to his relative.


    ¡°Greetings, Dav,¡± Gisborne said with a smile. ¡°How are you? What brings you to me?¡±


    ¡°It''s nothing. I just wanted to see how you were. Are you well?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it couldn''t be better,¡± the grandfather followed his grandson''s movements around the room, hiding a smile in his moustache. ¡°And what about you? Any news?¡±


    ¡°Nothing yet. We''re on holiday.¡±


    ¡°All right. Rest while you can. It''s a rare opportunity.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I''ll go,¡± the young man didn''t seem to have found what he was looking for.


    ¡°Go, go. Give my regards to your brothers. They should at least come and see me.¡±


    ¡°Grandpa, have you seen Grant and Siri?¡± Dav asked on his way out.


    ¡°No, I haven''t.¡±


    I breathed a sigh of relief, the tension of fear of being found instantly gone. My legs were stiff and I was desperate to stretch them.


    Grant''s nose was almost on my neck, tickling me with his breath, making me want to move away, but there wasn''t enough room.


    ¡°Wait,¡± the grandfather stopped his grandson. ¡°Could you pass me the letter, please? It''s in the desk drawer.¡±


    Butterflies of worry fluttered in my stomach, but there was nowhere to run. First the boots appeared in front of us, then Dav bent down and looked under the table.


    ¡°There you are,¡± he smiled with all thirty-two teeth.


    ¡°Grandfather, why did you give us away to him?¡± Grant asked indignantly, crawling out from under the table.


    Asanor Senior just grinned.


    ¡°You have to hide in places where there are no other people, so they don''t give you away. A lesson for the future. Are you playing hide and seek?¡± asked the man with the stick.


    ¡°No, playing forfeits. That was one of the tasks.¡±


    ¡°Oh... once upon a time, your fathers and I used to play this game in the evenings,¡± Gisborne''s eyes flickered with nostalgia.


    I tried to picture the ever-serious and frowning president Rizor and the equally intimidating Minister doing their tasks in forfeits. Nothing came to mind.


    ¡°Can I join you?¡±


    We just looked at each other dazedly and nodded. With Gisborne, the game was about to take a very different form.


    Since Taehee was found first, she had to sing a children''s song for forfeit. But Kai, who was next to her, was out of luck.


    ¡°Give the third person on your left a relaxing heel massage,¡± Dav read in a voice that wasn''t his own.


    ¡°Oh, how timely I''ve come,¡± Gisborne beamed.


    Grandpa Asanor''s socks were adorable, with cross-embroidered reindeer faces. We even got the robot-worshipper to record a video for the story.


    ¡°Call a random phone number and wish them Happy Independence Day/Solar Solstice Day/Sofa Protection Day. Volunteer.¡±


    ¡°Let me play here,¡± Grandpa Asanor volunteered. ¡°Who should I call?¡±


    The housemaid had brought an old landline, so Grant flicked through the contacts and dialled the first number he could find. We put it on speakerphone.


    The eldest of our company cleared his throat as the dial tone went on, and as soon as the other side answered, he said in a thin voice, ¡°Hello, good man, we congratulate you on the Day of the Jerboa. On such a beautiful holiday, may your friends not disappoint you, may your destiny not shrink, and may the invisible fetters of life not appear. I wish you with all my soul to become a politician! I wish you lots of money. I wish Miss Unica to fall in love with you and adore you!¡±


    ¡°Dad, is that you?¡± came the familiar voice of Rizor Circul from the phone. ¡°You are not allowed to drink, have you been mixing pills with whisky again?¡±


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    We all had eyes the size of the plate Grant had just drunk. The guy rushed over and cut the connection. We all burst out laughing.


    ¡°Ugh,¡± Gisborne exhaled as he wiped his sweaty face with his handkerchief. ¡°I haven''t had this much fun in a long time. Have you got anything to wet my throat with?¡±


    We respectfully offered him Midi''s smoothie. Surprisingly, Asanor liked this ¡®cool drink¡¯.


    ¡°Delicious,¡± he said. He wiped his moustache and asked for more.


    We hadn''t laughed like that for a long time. I looked through the tears of laughter at Taehee, who smiled warmly at everyone, at Kai, who made the universe laugh with his very existence, at Dav, who, it turned out, could do more than just sit there with a sad expression on his face, at Gisborne, who was a really nice grandfather. I looked at Grant, his eyes shining with serenity.


    ¡®Remember this day, Siri. Remember this day. Today you lived without regrets, you didn''t worry about anything. You didn''t think about the future, you didn''t think about the past, you lived in the present. Enjoying every minute of it. Remember that. Because today you really lived. Because there will never be another day like it...¡¯


    ¡°To tell a funny life story,¡± Dav''s voice interrupted my thoughts.


    The lot fell to Gisborne.


    ¡°Me again? Well...¡± the grandfather rubbed his nose and cleared his throat. ¡°This story happened when I was little, and my father told it to me later. When I was a child, we lived in one of the suburbs on the outskirts of the city. It was a turbulent time, a lot of people were robbed. Our neighbour was murdered, stabbed in his sleep at home, and they said he was moaning and bleeding before he died. A lot of people were scared at that time. Yes¡­¡±


    We looked at each other because the story didn''t seem funny yet. But I had long noticed that Gisborne had a peculiar sense of humour.


    ¡°My mother was frying pancakes in the kitchen, opened the windows to let the heat out, and heard someone moaning in the garden. It was late autumn, it was getting dark early and she couldn''t see much in the dark, just hear the barely audible moaning. She immediately thought someone had been killed again, closed the windows and, leaving me asleep, locked the house and ran to the end of the street ¨C not everyone had a telephone in those days. She asked a neighbour to call the police and returned, frightened by the sound of howling in the garden. My father had just come home from work when the police met him on the porch. They went into the garden together to see who was moaning,¡± the grandfather said, grinning into his moustache. ¡°And they came back laughing their heads off. Later, when the police had left, my father told my mother... Our garden adjoined another garden with a cottage on another road, parallel with our own. And at the fence separating our garden from the neighbour''s, they found a drunk man moaning in his voice. And what did you think? Autumn, evening, the yard is cold, a drunken man is sitting at the fence moaning to the whole world. His wife refused to let the drunken man go home, and he wanted to go to the toilet, but it was cold outside, so he sat by the fence and waited for his wife to have mercy. That''s the story...¡±


    We burst out laughing for the second time that day, tears in our eyes. Gisborne chuckled as he watched us try to stop ourselves laughing and sipped his herbal smoothie.


    ¡°Grandpa, you''ve never told us this story before...¡± Kai said offended. ¡°Why only now?¡±


    ¡°Consider it waiting for the right moment,¡± Asanor grinned.


    ¡°Miss Midea asked me to inform you that dinner will be served in ten minutes,¡± the robot-worshipper entered the room.


    ¡°Okay, then maybe one last forfeit?¡± Kai asked.


    Everyone nodded in agreement. This time it was my turn and the younger Asanor''s.


    ¡°You must sit facing each other and look each other in the eye without looking away,¡± Dav instructed us. ¡°I will read you the questions and you must answer them honestly, one by one.¡±


    ¡°I think I''ve heard of it. ¡®Forty-four questions of sincerity¡¯. They say that if you look at a person and give truthful answers, you''ll fall in love,¡± Taehee told us.


    I laughed with Kai, assessing the chances of falling in love on the way. No, he wasn''t my type at all. No one would ever top Krile, my heart was already set on him. Something similar was written on Asanor''s face, but we decided to answer the questions for the sake of interest.


    ¡°If you could invite anyone to dinner (significant other, deceased relative, celebrity), who would you choose?¡± read Dav.


    ¡°Mum,¡± we said almost simultaneously, surprised at the coincidence, and then laughed.


    Taehee even clapped for our unity.


    ¡°Okay, next question,¡± the host continued. ¡°What would your ¡®perfect day¡¯ be?¡±


    I let the guy speak, thinking about my answer.


    ¡°Get up early, have a delicious breakfast, go for a walk in the park, have an ice cream and watch the people go by. In the afternoon, head to the International Market to see an exhibition of the latest inventions. And in the evening, catch an open-air magic show. And it''s better I don''t do it alone.¡±


    ¡°You? Wake up early? You''re never going to have a perfect day. It''s just not possible,¡± Grant quipped.


    Attention shifted to me. I raised my eyes to the ceiling, still unable to find the thoughts I wanted.


    ¡°Okay. Wake up, have breakfast, get in the car and drive freely, not following the route, and in the evening drive to some beautiful place, pitch a tent and watch the stars, warm yourself by the fire,¡± I held my breath for a moment as I really imagined this picture.


    ¡°If you''re ever going to make your day, take me with you,¡± Gisborne asked.


    ¡°Sure,¡± I couldn''t help smiling.


    ¡°Do you have any idea how you will die?¡±


    ¡°I guess if I don''t die my own death, it will be a heroic end,¡± Kai laughed awkwardly and ran his fingers through his hair.


    ¡°I''ll hire a hitman and take sleeping pills so I can be shot in my sleep,¡± I joked.


    ¡°So you think you''re going to kill yourself?¡± Dav''s eyes were deadly serious.


    ¡°Or they''ll hire a hitman to kill me in my sleep.¡±


    ¡°I''ll get a hitman to kill you,¡± Grant said. ¡°Because you snore.¡±


    I grinned and showed him my tongue. How could he lie so blatantly? I never snored.


    ¡°If you were to get married one day, where would you go on your honeymoon?¡±


    ¡°Okay, that''s enough, let''s go,¡± Circul suddenly grabbed my hand.


    ¡°Grant, what are you doing? It was fine,¡± Kai jumped up and tried to stop us.


    ¡°We''re going, it''s late and we have an invitation to the Minister of Culture''s house tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°What about dinner?¡± I asked pathetically. If Midi was cooking tonight, I couldn''t miss her culinary masterpieces.


    ¡°You''ll have some for breakfast.¡±


    ¡°What''s wrong with him?¡±


    ¡°Jealous. What can you take from him? He''s young blood, and if you give him a reason, he''ll be furious,¡± said the wise old Gisborne.


    Grant just snorted at that remark and led me away with his head held proudly high.


    And I resented the mean boy he''d just made himself out to be. He did what he wanted and never cared what anyone else thought.


    All evening I ignored the existence of my partner in chain misery. I kept silent as if my life depended on it.


    Finally, the young man couldn''t stand it any longer, he came closer and looked at me: ¡°Don''t be silent on me.¡±


    I rolled my eyes and turned away, staring down at my book again.


    The book of fantasy stories was ripped from my hands. The pages were almost torn.


    ¡°You...¡±


    ¡°If you resent me, I''ll tickle you,¡± he warned.


    I exhaled quietly, burning my own anger into my heart. I crawled uncomplainingly under the covers, hugged my pillow and wished silently: ¡°Good night.¡±


    ¡°And you sleep well,¡± he said in return.


    I lay in the dark, staring at the wall and listening to Grant''s steady breathing, reassuring myself that he would soon be asleep and I could sneak up to the windowsill, hide behind the curtains and read by the light of the street lamp until dawn.


    I shouldn''t have been angry with this life. It was almost perfect... except for the one guy who kept me from enjoying the last few weeks of my existence on earth.


    But I was even glad that I had something to resent. I shouldn''t have felt the deceptive touch of happiness, shouldn''t have looked carelessly into the future, shouldn''t have forgotten my purpose.


    Grant''s soft sniffling at my side reminded me of the reason I was still clutching the corners of my pillow, the reason I''d put up with his constant contemptuous tone as king of the world, the reason I was still alive.


    Having Circul beside me was the key to my impending freedom. As long as I could reach out to him, as long as I could hear his taunts and look into his black eyes, I could carry out my revenge. Day by day I came closer to my goal. I came closer to killing. I came closer to my death.


    And Grant was a promise and a reminder of the end of my destiny.

 38. History will tell

    It had been three weeks since I''d first arrived at Asanor Manor, and our days had been relatively carefree, until one morning, the day after the forfeits, we heard that a civil war had broken out in Unica.


    We had no access to the internet, high society tried not to talk about the deteriorating situation in the country, and if there were any worrying statements, they were quickly hushed up. So it came as a complete surprise to learn at breakfast that a state of emergency had been declared. In the north and east, the rebels had seized large swathes of territory and several regions had lost all communication.


    ¡°Now you will definitely remain president for a third term, no one will care about the election now,¡± Gisborne commented on the news, giving his son a mischievous look.


    Rizor Circul just sighed and looked down at his plate of untouched oatmeal. He couldn''t bring himself to take a bite. Neither could anyone else; everyone at the table was in a dejected mood, and I was the only one enjoying the toast with cherry jam.


    I didn''t care about the fate of the country. The only thought that pleased me was that its ruler would soon be gone by my hand.


    After breakfast, in the living room, sitting on the sofas, Gisborne and I brought up the subject of the war again. Grant stared blankly out of the window, enjoying his morning tea, while Grandfather Asanor and I discussed politics.


    The most acute problems of Unica''s society had not been solved for decades, and although there was no government violence in the country, many ¡®ridiculous¡¯ laws, reforms and ever-increasing taxes angered the people. The streets were abuzz with talk of eternal confrontation between the head of state and the people, and there were even pathetic attempts to organise a few coups, but they failed miserably; the people were not ready.


    But the closure of Virtul was the last straw.


    War has come to our country.


    ¡°Be thankful they haven''t taken away your internet. A mere Virtul is a small price to pay,¡± Gisborne looked at me gently, but there was no sympathy in his gaze or smile.


    ¡°But Virtul was the only game that somehow managed to keep us alive. The game was our only escape from reality, from the oligarchs who only wanted more slaves.¡±


    ¡°Slaves, Siri? Weren''t half the country already slaves to the virtual world?¡±


    ¡°Where would we go?¡± I asked with hatred in my voice, remembering my desperation when I was looking for a job. ¡°After graduating from university, I worked in many places... In cafes, in shops, in cheap restaurants. And you know what? After a month, all the employees were fired without being paid. The managers made up unfair comments, fined us and sent us away. And no court could get compensation from them. And we were replaced by others who, out of desperation, fled to the capital and took the first job they could find.¡±


    ¡°Why not work in your speciality?¡±


    I chuckled.


    ¡°Wages there were even lower. The subsistence minimum is twelve thousand roans, the government writes that the average salary in the country is twenty-seven, but in reality employers pay fifteen thousand. ¡®Why do you need so much money? The minimum wage is enough, you just have to pay for food. And buy yourself a cake to celebrate that you have survived on your miserable salary. And some white slippers, in case there is a shortage in the future¡¯. That''s exactly what I can read in the eyes of today''s officials,¡± I blew away a strand of hair that had fallen on my forehead, growing increasingly angry. ¡°We had a neighbour down the road, he was a good doctor, he had three degrees, but he was sacked three months ago because the head of the ward needed extra money to pay for her daughter''s eye operation. By cutting him, she solved that problem. The doctor has five children, whom he is raising without a wife. Under the conditions in the capital, he needed to earn at least forty to fifty thousand roans a month, and the job centre offered him vacancies that paid four to five thousand.¡±


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    I got up from my chair and walked to the window, clenching my fists, trying to forget the image of the grey, overcast morning and the black hearse with our neighbour''s body inside. As they said later, his heart had failed... but his children had seen the scattered pills on his bedroom floor.


    And I hoped they''d never follow in his footsteps. Even though I wanted to do what my mother had done.


    ¡°To let your subjects live like this is to mock them, to make a mockery of common sense. And I know exactly who is to blame,¡± I said to Gisborne. ¡°It''s your son. As one writer said, ¡®A normal person does not want power, therefore abnormal people always have power¡¯. The oligarchs led by Rizor Cirkul are greedy and oblivious to the situation, and their actions have brought the country to the brink of civil war. They have never lived for the people, only for themselves, and in their eyes only the thirst for power and wealth burns.¡±


    ¡°Siri,¡± said Gisborne sadly, ¡°I have worked hard to rise from the poor to my present position. I confess my business methods were not always clean, but I cheated the same liars and cheats who stole from the people. My son also worked hard, I did not help him at all, I believed he should rise on his own feet. After the death of our last president, you probably don''t remember, but it was a scary time. No other country in the world had as many corrupt officials as we did, with tax money flowing into the government''s pockets. There was a merry-go-round of contract killings, prices were rising, salaries were not being paid, planes and rockets were falling, houses were exploding, mine accidents were happening almost every month, terrorists were terrorising the big cities, bandits were rampant, people were being kidnapped. All this was inherited by Rizor, the new president. I realised that the power in my son''s hands was a great burden, he could fly to the skies or break his neck. There were many people around him who ruled the former head of the country, indulging his weaknesses and taking advantage of his incompetence in many matters. Rizor had to deal with great figures who had long remained in the shadows.¡±


    ¡°But why did he close Virtul?¡±


    ¡°He had his reasons.¡±


    ¡°He hadn''t even said it!¡± I almost screamed. Anger roared wildly through my soul.


    Grant cautiously sat closer, emitting a quiet emotion.


    ¡°Isn''t this an abuse of power? His latest laws are worse than the last. How can a country be run that way?¡±


    ¡°Siri, what would you do if you were president?¡± Asanor raised an eyebrow in question.


    ¡°The first thing I''d do is lift the last moratorium on executions. And immediately commit the crime for which I would be executed first.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Gisborne grinned in surprise.


    ¡°To set an example. Something tells me that there will be no honesty and justice in our country until the last ¡®honest and fair¡¯ official in power is executed.¡±


    ¡°In essence, any death penalty is seen as state-legalised murder. In this sense, the state is no different from a criminal who commits an illegal act. After all, what is the point of doing it? Basically, what right does Unica have, how can it kill a person when life is a gift from above? It is easier to keep such a dangerous criminal away from society. The Constitution itself gives priority to the correction of the criminal, not his destruction. And execution simply takes a person''s life without giving them a chance to reform.¡±


    ¡°And yet... Power is the right to control people. I think you can be killed for abusing that right.¡±


    ¡°Siri, I understand your discontent, but you should also understand that every democracy leads to oligarchy, which leads to authoritarian rule. It will be much worse if the power goes to the people, then the collapse of our country will not pass. So let my son have bad power, as you say, because bad power is better than powerlessness,¡± said Asanor.


    ¡°What should we do?  Wait and watch life fade into the sunset?¡±


    Gisborne nodded and spoke with a slightly sad smile, ¡°We must only submit to the authorities and believe that better times will soon come.¡±


    I sighed. A baby is born, learns to walk and talk, goes to school, goes to university, then faces the incomprehensible problems of adulthood, and finally its rose-coloured glasses, dreams and optimism are shattered by the cruel reality.


    ¡°Huh, and what''s left for the average person who wants to be happy and enjoy their work and life?¡± I lifted my eyes to the sky and pitied myself and my innocent contemporaries.


    ¡°To submit to authority and believe that better times will soon come,¡± Grant repeated ironically.


    I grinned.


    ¡°Loyalty and submission are beautiful when we submit to wisdom and justice. But a worthy person will not tolerate an oppressive authority that acts unjustly and ruthlessly for its own benefit and despises the weak and helpless,¡± I said quietly.


    ¡°There is no right or wrong, Siri. There is no best and most balanced option. Everyone wants to live for themselves, and as long as selfishness flourishes in our hearts, the world will never change for the better. And even if it does... There will always be the poor and the rich, the empowered and the disempowered, the blessed and the cursed. Life is always unfair ¨C that is its fundamental characteristic, without which there can be no life itself.¡±


    I looked at Gisborne again, my heart whimpering with hopelessness and sadness.


    ¡°Is this the way it has to be? Can''t we change things?¡±


    ¡°I don''t know, Siri. I don''t know. Only posterity will know where time will lead. History will tell.¡±

 39. But still…

    My hands were shaking, my throat was dry, my eyes were stinging from the light, the sky had already taken on the colours of dawn, my body was stiff from sitting on the windowsill for so long, and my bare feet were cramping from the cold, but I persevered through the text, trying to fight the tension headache. I was no longer the teenage girl who spent sleepless nights reading. But I still couldn''t tear myself away from the beautiful story with a touch of magic and a tart pinch of intrigue and plot twists.


    ¡®The scariest moment is when we get to the last chapter. That''s when we become different. Completely different. And if we have started to read, we must finish. May we have the courage to read to the end. Not to be intimidated. It will mean that the book is worth something. It will let us know that it has touched us. Nothing is more important than the very last chapter...¡¯


    I finished the first volume of the fantasy series with a trembling heart. I exhaled quietly and looked over at Grant, who was asleep. I was more afraid of disturbing his sleep than anything else, because if I did, he''d hit me with a pillow for being awake and disturbing him.


    It was sad that the military academy was so strict about the daily routine of its students; Cirkul Junior would yawn as soon as the old clock on the ground floor struck nine o''clock and push me towards the bed.


    It wasn''t easy for me to go to the dream world, because there were owls in my family up to the eleventh generation. So I had to be very careful to stay awake at night.


    ¡®The evening was pleasantly cool, and the three figures stood on the balcony waiting for the cotillion to change from a lively mazurka to a gentle waltz. It was a strange trio, very different personalities: a future king to whom the law does not apply, a simple ballroom dancing teacher who loves life, and a shy girl, one of the many offspring of an aristocratic family of average means and fortune.


    The first notes of the waltz set everything in motion, so natural and beautiful in its simplicity. It was meant to be this evening, the gods had long ago written the script of their destiny, they had known from the beginning of time that one day these three would smile at each other on a quiet terrace by the light of the moon and the stars.


    They were dancing. They were dancing a dance of their own, a dance in which there were no leaders, but in which each had his own part, fascinating, exciting and special, understood only by the three of them. They were dancing in this flame of power, of danger and of the anticipation of possible death.


    The silence of the night garden was broken by the ringing laughter of the dancers. Yes, this world would soon hear of them...¡¯


    ¡°If you ask me, ¡°What is your fondest wish?¡± I read the lines from the novel aloud, barely audible, so as not to wake Grant. ¡°In moments of weakness, I will reply: ¡°I just want to avoid meeting two people...¡±


    ¡®So that there would be no eternal dance on the edge of the blade, no dangerous crackling of ice underfoot, no walking on coals, no hateful looks and scorching whispers behind my back. To make life predictable and definite, simple in its dullness and happy in its small pleasures...


    But still...¡¯


    ¡°If you ask me, ¡°What is your fondest wish?¡± I smiled, not knowing why. The question sounded too strange.


    ¡®I will answer: ¡°I am ready to walk through the flames of hell, to burn with ashes, to feel the agony of rebirth, only to meet them again in the next life. I have no greater dream than that. For when they are near, their dreams become mine.¡±


    In my next life, I''m ready to go through hell again, to sell my soul, just to meet them again on the road...¡¯


    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    The end. I closed the book and stretched out with pleasure.


    ¡°Krile...¡± I exhaled softly into the void. My heart ached at the memory of his blue eyes and mischievous smile.


    ¡®I too am willing to go through hell and sell my soul, but I''m afraid that no amount of suffering will bring you back to me¡­¡¯


    I put the book down, ran to the bed, trying not to ring the chain, and climbed under the covers, a smile of pleasure playing on my lips for a long time. It was an incomparable feeling of happiness, lying on a cool bed, wrapped in a heavy blanket, lost in the embrace of the misty Morpheus, to the sound of the morning birds.


    I thought my eyes closed for a moment as Grant''s smug voice ruined my ¡®good morning¡¯ with its existence.


    ¡°Siri, come on, get up. Dad wants us to come.¡±


    ¡°What, why would he do that?¡± I muttered, squinting against the light.


    ¡°You''ll ask him,¡± he said as he threw me a towel and dressing gown and sent me to shower.


    There was nothing I could do, so I had to get up, complaining about life and hoping I''d be in hell sooner. But something told me that even there I wouldn''t have any peace. Evil is insidious and clever, and it has surely invented the most sophisticated tortures in the underworld, and sleep deprivation is definitely at the top of the list.


    ¡°Hurry up, dawdler...¡± came from the bedroom.


    And certainly Grant was an agent of that very evil, sent into our world to do dark deeds for the glory of suffering and torment. There''s no other way to explain his evil character.


    The sun streamed into the office through the slit in the curtains, leaving a bright streak on the carpet, staining the dust in the air and blinding my poor red eyes.


    ¡°No, you will go to this dinner,¡± the president was adamant, he did not listen to our objections, but we were really tired of endless visits to boring high society parties. ¡°But before...¡±Circul turned to me, darkness covering the sclera of his eyes. ¡°I''m sorry, Siri, I need to speak to Grant alone.¡±


    The next time I fluttered my eyelashes, there was mist on the floor, wild ivy on the stone arches, and a dense forest peering through the high windows of the roofless hall, almost swallowing the ruins. The leaves, the bushes, even the air and the parrot that flew by were tropical ¨C was I in a jungle?


    The mist thickened, grew, reaching my neck, which wasn''t wearing a collar. I almost tripped over a pattern on the floor as I tried to reach the nearest wall, some shelter from the rain.


    ¡°Gra-a-ant?¡± I asked incredulously, staring into the misty void. My question echoed around the room. ¡°This isn''t funny. Come out.¡±


    The cold and white steam enveloped my legs, making my feet freeze in my light slippers, and I rubbed my palms together, my thoughts scattering. On the one hand, I was curious about the forest, I''d never seen it before, but on the other... it was scary without Grant in Oblivion. The guy''s impenetrable appearance made me feel calm, but now my ¡®chain mate¡¯ wasn''t around.


    ¡°Grant,¡± I called for the umpteenth time, faintly hoping for an answer.


    ¡°Are you here?¡± The young man''s voice was barely audible, but the echo carried his question.


    ¡°I''m here! Over here!¡± I even jumped up and waved my hand.


    His warm palm touched my waist, grabbed my shoulder and turned me around.


    ¡°Didn''t they teach you not to leave a place when you''re lost?¡± the guy asked sullenly, leading me down a path he knew only himself.


    We passed through the archway and found ourselves in a forest under the spreading branches of a huge tree, the mist gone so that everything around us was a variety of shades of green. Grant sat down by some cobblestones, ran his fingers along the ground and pulled two vials of colourless liquid from under dried roots.


    ¡°Drink this,¡± he tossed me a vial.


    ¡°What''s this?¡±


    ¡°Poison.¡±


    ¡°What? We''re not going through the Labyrinth?¡±


    ¡°No, it''s time to get ready for the evening,¡± the young man''s back was still ¡®talking¡¯ to me. He himself was trying not to look at me.


    ¡°Again?¡± I sat on the ground. What was that for? Was the president so cruel? Why would he torture us with these unnecessary social events in the middle of a civil war?


    ¡°We have to go this time. It''s a fundraiser for children with heart disease,¡± Grant finally turned to me, but the look on his face made me sick to my stomach. The guy was so down when he drank the poison that I wanted to comfort him.


    ¡°What''s happened to you? You don''t look well.¡±


    Paler by the second, the guy smiled, and then he laughed. And there was a lot of bitterness in his laughter.


    ¡°Drink the poison, Siri, we don''t have much time.¡±


    I drank the dead water in one gulp, lost in speculation. It was too unusual to see Circul Jr so unsure of himself. We sat facing each other for a long time, staring into each other''s eyes; I don''t know what he read in me, but determination slowly grew in his dark gaze.


    Almost on his last breath, he said quietly, ¡°Maybe it''s better this way.¡±


    Grant smiled tiredly, closed his eyelids and collapsed to the floor. I wanted to crawl over to him, but my stomach and throat hurt like hell, my insides were on fire and I couldn''t even scream because blood was coming out of my mouth instead of sound.

 But still… pt2

    Although we had been in Oblivion for no more than an hour, it was difficult to return to reality, my jaw was sore from yawning all the time and I wanted to sleep, but they made me take a bath with perfumed oils, dressed me in an airy white dress and ordered me to sit in front of the dressing table and not move. Two make-up artists and a hairdresser did their best to make me look cheerful and glamorous.


    There was silence in the bedroom; the president''s son, already fully prepared to conquer high society, was surprisingly quiet. His gaze followed my reflection in the mirror, and there was no hint of amusement in my enemy''s black eyes.


    ¡°No, put the flowers away,¡± Grant''s serious voice stopped the stylist''s hand. The young man took a box from the shelf and carefully placed it on the table in front of us. ¡°Use these stars.¡±


    The lid opened to reveal two dozen small eight-pointed star-shaped hairpins set with tiny white stones. I ran my fingertips along the velvet lining of the wooden box, admiring the shimmering jewels, until it hit me. My heart stumbled and skipped a few beats.


    ¡°These are...¡±


    ¡°Yes, it''s my mother''s jewellery. Midi went to the residence to get them.¡±


    ¡°I won''t wear them,¡± I closed the box, preventing the girls from touching hairpins.


    Grant''s hand covered my palm.


    ¡°No, you will,¡± there was no pity in Circul''s gaze, only relentlessness.


    ¡°You can''t make me.¡±


    ¡°Should I call my father?¡± The guy raised an eyebrow. He didn''t hesitate to use his strongest threat.


    ¡°I can''t...¡±


    ¡°You can,¡± he said sternly. It''s an order from the president.


    I exhaled quietly, trying to calm myself, but a sea of anxiety raged in my soul. These stars were Wemily Circul''s favourite piece of jewellery, and she wore them on her most important occasions, whether it was a wedding, a peace treaty, a celebration of independence or the announcement of her son''s birth. She wore her dark hair pinned up in these jewels even on the night she was last seen in the spotlight. It would be a sacrilege to appear in them now, to desecrate the memory of the deceased.


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    ¡°Do you think I like you wearing them?¡± The young man gave me a sarcastic look. ¡°You''d be the last person I''d let touch those stars, even if my life depended on it...¡±


    Immediately all awkwardness was gone, the eagerness to annoy Grant knocked all other desires out of me.


    ¡°Put them on,¡± I asked, staring blankly at my reflection in the mirror.


    Circul grinned bitterly and stepped back, leaving the stylists to continue their work.


    Half an hour later, the president came to see us. Rizor looked at us, gave us an approving nod and walked away silently. We were alone with Grant, bored, waiting for the car.


    I yawned widely for the umpteenth time, not even bothering to cover my mouth, my mind working on automatic, so tired that I seemed to fall asleep with my eyes open every few minutes without realising it.


    ¡°You''re not ill, are you?¡± My enemy in chain misfortune has decided to be concerned. ¡°You''ve been lethargic the last few days, and you want to sleep all the time.¡±


    I smiled faintly, the smile of someone who doesn''t need anything more in this life, and with a yawn I said with a little pride: ¡°I''ve been reading.¡±


    ¡°What did you read?¡± Circul was curious.


    ¡°It''s a very popular novel now,¡± I took the book from the windowsill and lovingly stroked the cover.


    ¡°If you read what most people read, you''ll start thinking like everyone else,¡± he said in a tone that didn''t suit him at all.


    ¡°You understand a lot, Grant... but never judge a book by its popularity. Better to see for yourself what its true meaning is, and then despise or admire it.¡±


    ¡°Okay, give it to me,¡± he held out his open palm to me.


    ¡°What? You''re gonna read it?¡±


    Grant nodded majestically, took the book from my hands and turned a few pages. ¡°Since you liked the novel, I''d like to know why.¡±


    I smiled as I imagined the guy reading the story.


    For some reason, my mood immediately lifted and I wanted to laugh. ¡°I''m afraid you won''t like it. It''s where good triumphs over evil.¡±


    ¡°You''re a bad spoiler, you know?¡± Grant grinned at me, his hair slicked back, making him look a few years older. ¡°I heard about the second part of this series. They say all the main characters will die in it.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I jumped up immediately, not believing a word he said. I tried not to.


    ¡°You''re so easy to tease, Siri,¡± the guy laughed. ¡°You should have seen the look on your face, like someone told you the end of the world was coming. Okay, relax, I made that up. I have no idea how the battle for this wretched throne will end.¡±


    I exhaled angrily, turned away defiantly and didn''t speak to him again until we were on our way. It was only in the car that we deigned to say a few words.


    ¡°Get in,¡± he said as he opened the car door for me.


    ¡°No, wait, I''ll take the other seat.¡±


    When he raised his eyebrows in surprise, I replied that the chances of a quick death were more likely on the side of the road than in the passenger seat on the side of the pavement. I was very reluctant to go to that party, my heart was uneasy and my soul was weighed down by an unpleasant feeling.


    I looked up at the stars, exposed my face to the cool evening air and tried for a moment to forget where I was and who I was.


    ¡°Perhaps only after I die will I be able to sleep well?¡± I asked the passing clouds.


    Grant Circul just snorted and got into the car.

 40. Dont take one step away from me

    The bodyguard Lias personally handed us over to the president''s first secretary, reported back and disappeared. He was lucky he didn''t have to spend the next few hours wearing an impenetrable expression and trying not to yawn five times a minute.


    ¡°We put plugs all around to prevent unwanted magical excesses,¡± Mirk informed us, taking the chain from my collar and putting it in his briefcase. ¡°I won''t be able to tie you together with a thread today, so don''t move more than five metres apart.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Anaris,¡± Grant nodded to the secretary, bade him goodbye and gave me a hand.


    ¡°Wait,¡± I stopped the young man almost at the door of the hall. ¡°Stand still.¡±


    The uncomprehending Circul turned to me and raised an eyebrow in question.


    I lifted my palms to his neck and ran my fingertips along the satin bow on his collar, smoothing it. ¡°Okay, I fixed it. That''s better.¡±


    He smiled warmly back at me, and so many different emotions flashed through Grant''s eyes, from astonishment and disbelief to fleeting admiration and gratitude, that I felt a subtle tickle under my heart that made me want to look at the world with a smile.


    The footmen opened the doors and the shadow of the couloir gave way to the light of lamps, the gleam of champagne in glasses and the sparkle of jewellery in mirrors. The scent of expensive perfume and the faint, delicate fragrance of freshly cut flowers wafted over us.


    The music was louder, the bustle of the hall contrasting sharply with the awesome silence of the corridors we''d just passed through, and all my senses immediately tensed, irritated by the sudden change of scenery. I exhaled quietly, trying to get used to the people again.


    ¡°Don''t take one step away from me,¡± Grant whispered in my ear.


    ¡°Why such a speech?¡± I moved back because it was unseemly to stand so close.


    ¡°At least for tonight. Stay with me.¡±


    His dark gaze was pleading and I lowered my head, afraid of drowning in the depths of his black eyes. Grant''s hair, his posture, his confident voice, his tailored suit, the precious cufflinks on his shirt sleeves, the aura of maturity and seriousness ¨C it all came over me suddenly, as if I''d seen him for the first time, and now, like a thirteen-year-old girl, I inwardly admired and idolised him.


    My heart was beating fast and erratically, and somehow I was worried about the future, about this party, about the whole evening I was going to spend with the son of my sworn enemy. My emotions and thoughts were a mess and I suddenly remembered my childhood dream of being a princess and going to a ball with a handsome prince.


    ¡®No, no, no, Siri, stop being nostalgic. Don''t you dare let down the defences around your heart, you don''t need any more problems and feelings. You have a purpose, remember?¡¯


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    I looked up at the crowd and saw Rizor Circul almost instantly. The president was staring straight at me, his gaze unreadable, but the anger rising from deep within me helped me to come to my senses.


    I didn''t care what the head of the country thought of me, I didn''t care what others thought of me, I didn''t suffer from regret that the guy next to me was about to lose his father, my mind was clear, I saw the meaning of my life so vividly. I was going to kill a man in the name of revenge and justice, that was all that mattered.


    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    I smiled coldly and greeted the nation''s leader, who grinned back at me ironically and walked towards the platform.


    ¡°Are you hungry?¡± Grant asked and without waiting for an answer he led me over to the snack tables.


    ¡°I have good news for you today, my guests,¡± the president seemed to be a couple of years younger at the beginning of his speech, his eyes were shining.


    I stared at the colourful, beautifully decorated dishes with anticipation.


    ¡°My only and beloved son is about to get married...¡±


    I hovered for a few moments, unable to get a piece of food to my mouth.


    Wow, that''s news. Who will be the third in our chain slavery? Why did I learn this now? It seemed that Circul Junior had an arranged marriage, for I had never seen him show any sympathy for a single living female soul.


    ¡°This girl has been in contact with my son for a long time, recently they have become very close, they practically do not leave each other even a few steps,¡± the president ¡®joked¡¯, many guests laughed and I... almost choked on my canape.


    I chewed the olive thoroughly, put the plate of delicious food down and turned to face the stage. ¡°What?¡± came from my lips in a whisper.


    And then I heard my name and loud applause ¨C it was like a dream. I watched myself from afar, as if I wasn''t the girl in the white dress with sparkling stars in her hair, as if I wasn''t the centre of the universe and everyone''s attention.


    Grant leaned over and smiled, pushing me towards the platform where his father was standing. The young man was saying something, but I couldn''t make out a word. Glad to have discovered my acting skills in time, I stood next to the black-haired guy, holding his hand and pretending I''d known the news since birth.


    Grant was smiling, I wasn''t. I looked at the president and tried to figure out what kind of party he was playing. What was he up to? He''d cruelly deprived me of one game and brought me into another.


    ¡°Good words, my son, and I hope you will be true to them for the rest of your life. Come here, I''ll give you a hug,¡± Rizor said emotionally, tears welling up in his eyes.


    But I didn''t believe him. Only now did I realise that the magic wasn''t working, that our wrists weren''t bound by an invisible thread, that I could run away and kill everyone here.


    But against the crazy and desirable thought, I embraced the president like an obedient puppet and then stood next to Circul Jr, a smile on my lips, until the photographer stopped blinding us with flashes.


    The congratulations didn''t stop for long. I just remembered Taehee coming over to me and giving me a big hug.


    ¡°I''m so happy for you and I wish you all the best,¡± she chattered sweetly, wishing us mountains of wealth, years of life and many children, which made me shiver from head to toe. ¡°Oh, I have to run,¡± the girl looked anxiously behind me, ¡°that guy is chasing me again. How many times do I have to tell him I don''t like him?¡± And my friend disappeared into the crowd with the grace and dexterity of a seasoned spy.


    I looked round and saw a young man with white hair in a braid coming towards us.


    ¡°Congrats,¡± he patted the president''s son on the shoulder and turned to me.


    ¡°And you¡­?¡±


    ¡°Have you forgotten me? I''m Non, best friend of Dav Asanor, your future cousin-in-law,¡± his clear blue eyes sparkled mysteriously as they rested on my collar. Or was it just a trick of the eye, the glare of the chandelier lights?


    Grant held my hand tightly the whole time, not allowing me to take a step away from him, one part of my mind understanding what was happening, the other refusing to accept or comprehend any of the impressions I had received that evening.


    In my worst dreams I could not have imagined such a thing. The very thought of being related to the president, of joining the family of the enemy, disgusted me.


    I could have run around screaming and denying the truth of the president''s announcement, swearing that I knew nothing about the engagement, but common sense told me it would be better to confront the situation in a less public place.


    ¡°I want to go home,¡± I said in a weak voice.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Grant said. He hurried to lead me away.


    But even outside the building, at the porch in front of the car, they were waiting for us. The crowd of journalists wanted to hear the official statement first hand and would not let us go without a fight, even though the president had brought an army of bodyguards. The endless camera flashes blinded our eyes and annoyed us immensely as we made our way to the exit.


    ¡°Smile, you don''t want the news to say that the prince is marrying an ugly duckling, do you?¡±


    I looked glumly at the guy and turned away, wishing I''d never seen that insolent, contemptuous grin on his lips again.


    I was silent the whole way, trying to come to terms with the fact that I now had a fianc¨¦ against my will, and all of Unica knew it. I had never been so stunned in my life that I couldn''t find the words to describe the most ridiculous situation I was in. An engagement? To the son of the enemy? It was the last thing I could have expected from fate.

 41. And once again I...

    ¡°What was that?¡± My voice broke the silence in the living room.


    Neither of us had turned on a light, so everything in the cool room was in the dark.


    I shuddered at my own tone, but repeated the question anyway: ¡°What. Was. That?¡±


    ¡°You saw it all yourself. The engagement,¡± Circul Junior said smoothly.


    He knelt in front of the hearth, took logs from the stand, examined them and stacked them in the fireplace with a satisfied look. Sparks flew from his fingers and fell onto the rough bark, and after a few heartbeats the fire crackled cosily.


    I stepped closer and wrapped the hated chain around my wrist.


    ¡°This is for you,¡± he turned and, without a smile, handed me the bouquet of purple dahlias that had been on the mantelpiece.


    And when had he had time to prepare them?


    As if in reply, he explained, ¡°I didn''t want to, but Dav insisted on giving you a gift on this special day for all of us,¡± Grant grimaced at the last word.


    I grinned coldly as I picked up this beautiful broom of dying plants, inhaled the scent, but the flowers smelled nothing, only the silver-blue twigs of some green field grass smelled bitter.


    There were a few notes hidden between the buds. I opened one, ¡®Congratulations, Siri. I hope you''ll be happy.¡¯ The letters ran ornately down the length of the tiny scroll, the kind of stretched handwriting that only one person I knew had ¨C Taehea.


    Out of curiosity, I read the following wish: ¡®I am very happy to call you my cousin-in-law. I hope the wedding will be soon. Don''t be too slow. Kai.¡¯


    I crumpled up the paper and tossed it back into the bouquet. The very thought of marrying the president''s heir made me sick. I didn''t hate the son of my enemy as much as I detested him; the thought of having to smile like I did today in the wedding photos, standing next to Rizor Circul, was repulsive.


    The blood drained from my face as my heart pounded in panic ¨C I couldn''t let this nightmare come true. I''d rather be blown up by a bomb than ever marry Grant Circul!


    ¡°Why didn''t I know?¡± I asked quietly.


    ¡°To divert attention from the civil war, my father decided to create a hoax in the media, so we announced this fake engagement.¡±


    Tears welled up in my eyes, but I held them back, not letting them trickle down my cheeks. I''d never felt so bad about myself before, anger tugging at every cell in my body, squeezing my heart into a stone vise, my throat tight with emotion that made it painful to even speak.


    ¡°Is that why your father sent me to Oblivion alone today? He wanted to discuss the engagement?¡±


    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°But why didn''t you tell me before?¡± I looked at him bitterly and reproachfully.


    ¡°I have forgotten to tell you.¡±


    I grinned, hiding the pain. I''d grown attached to Circul over the past few weeks, assuming he no longer thought of me as nothing. I''d grown so attached to him, despite my dislike of his father. We even laughed together, felt the same emotions and often understood each other without words. Had he simply forgotten?


    I looked up at Grant. He stared at me without taking his eyes off me, nothing in his gaze that spoke of remorse or sympathy. So handsome and cold, he saw my feelings, knew them, but chose to stand across from me and smile wryly. The flames of the fireplace played shadow and light across his face, stars glittering in his black pupils.


    ¡°I could have been hysterical, I could have made a scene at the party tonight. I had every right to do that and nobody would have stopped me. Why did your father only talk to you about this engagement? And what about you? Didn''t you fight it? Do you want this wedding?¡±


    ¡°My father studied you well, he knew you wouldn''t play in public,¡± the guy was calm, weighing every word, while I was melting with rage. ¡°And as for the engagement, that''s just a fiction, a pretext. I''m the son of the president of this country, it was my duty to do it.¡±


    ¡°But looking at you now, people will always remember that...¡± I muttered, giving up.


    My eyelashes were wet with tears again. I felt sorry for myself. It was as if someone had taken away the last thing I had ¨C choice and the ability to control my own life.


    Everything was so good, we lived quietly, we didn''t bother anyone. I almost enjoyed it, used to Grant''s nagging in my ear, to our evenings in this very living room, to the euphoria of the spells we cast while training in Oblivion, to the carefree days and long nights I spent reading books.


    I hardly thought about the future, the longing for Virtul ate less, sometimes I even forgot that I was going to kill.


    Why did the president have to bring me back to cruel reality, to show me once again how horrible and disgusting my life was? Was he trying to make me hate him even more?


    The very idea of this union with his son sounded like a mockery of my feelings, I was not asked, I was put before the fact, and I did not want that, I did not want people to think of the head of our country when they saw me. I didn''t want anything to do with him except death.


    I was shaking, my strength was gone, blood was barely flowing through my veins, every breath was heavy, fatigue was pressing on my shoulders and back, my head was dizzy from the carousel of emotions I had experienced.


    ¡°Siri, are you okay? Your lips are blue...¡± Grant held out his palm to me, trying to steady me.


    ¡°Don''t even come near me,¡± I whispered, but I put so much anger into the words that Grant froze in place, afraid to move.


    My hand trembled, I turned and angrily threw the flowers into the flames, which consumed the gift with a crackle, leaving only embers and the smell of bitterness.


    I sobbed, wanting to cry out or scream in frustration, but my throat, already under pressure from the collar, tightened.


    I staggered, caught the edge of the mantelpiece, but eventually I couldn''t hold on and fell at Circul''s feet.


    The bitter scent wafted through the room, mingling with the shadows and the brief silence.


    ¡°Siri!¡± The last thing I remembered was Grant leaning over me, his coolness shattered.


    ¡®Heaven, please speed up the passage of time. I''m tired... let me kill Rizor Circul sooner and then leave this world. I''ll accept hell and eternal oblivion just so I don''t have to feel this pain eating away at my skin, my bones and my very being. I dream of only one thing: the happiness of being lifeless and knowing nothing...¡¯


    The haze hid even the glow of the fire. Tears froze on my lashes, but I couldn''t feel their coldness.


    ? When I close my eyes


    Your face comes back to me.


    My heart still aches,


    I wish I could forget.


    If this is only a dream


    Let me wake up


    Please.


    Answer me, are you really my destiny?


    And once again I fall in love with you


    And once again I... ?

 42. The lilacs were in bloom

    ¡°You know, I hated you from the first moment I saw you. I have no idea why I didn''t like you, but every time I looked at you, I wanted so badly to hurt you, to kill you, to shame you, to make you suffer... to make you cry and beg for mercy,¡± Grant''s soft, barely audible voice reached my ears, but I could hardly make out the meaning.


    My head was in excruciating pain, as if it had been torn to pieces and then pieced back together with old threads. I couldn''t open my eyes and it was hard to move, but my stomach was going crazy with hunger and I was so thirsty. Someone''s warm hand squeezed my palm, numbing my fingers.


    ¡°But then, every time you laughed and teased me so sincerely, instead of being angry, I wanted to smile back at you. To catch every look, to touch your hair without you noticing. Every moment with you was unbearable, but with time I realised that if you were gone, I wouldn''t be able to live like before...¡±


    I held my breath, trying to work out if I was still asleep or if I was actually experiencing this delusion.


    Butterflies fluttered unpleasantly in my stomach, travelled to my solar plexus and stuck in my chest, leaving an uncomfortable residue. Astonished, I couldn''t even move to show that I''d heard it all for a long time; shock and bewilderment sat beside me, open-mouthed, listening to every word of Circul.


    ¡°When I wake up, the first thing I want to do is see you. You talk so funny in your sleep, especially when you''re not kicking and fighting nightmares,¡± he said, a warm smile creeping into his voice that made me feel even worse.


    No, Grant, please stop, don''t pour your sensual speech into my long-suffering ears. I can''t bear to hear another word. I''ve wanted to kill your father lately, don''t add fuel to the fire, don''t make me want him dead even more. I don''t want you to feel sorry for me, you must hate me, despise me, be cold and dry, not appreciate me or give me anything because I''m not worth it.


    Because I will be your father''s murderer, because you won''t be able to love me after the worst thing in my life, because I will never be able to smile at you sincerely and look into your black, enchanting eyes with warmth and tenderness, because you are the son of my enemy, a terrible man, because you and I are also blood enemies, with only a few losses and reasons to grieve in common. And there are so many more ¡®reasons¡¯...


    I could make a list of a hundred reasons why we''ll never be together.


    ¡°If someone asked me why I like you, I wouldn''t be able to answer. I don''t understand this strange feeling, this emotion that comes out of nowhere, even though my magic is the very control of my mind and heart. Why do people love? Where does this knowledge come from? Why can''t we control our feelings?¡± Circul grinned, full of frustration at the unjust order of the universe. ¡°I''m surprised to be saying this to myself, but I would sacrifice my life for you without hesitation. I''ll die if you hurt yourself again, so please, Siri, wake up, cause...¡±


    With great effort I stretched out on the bed, threw my leg out from under the covers and kicked my foot into Grant.


    ¡°It was wet! Goal!¡± I murmured with a smile, pretending to be still asleep.


    ¡°Siri...¡± It came from down below. I opened my eyes; the guy''s head was at the level of the hospital bed. He stood up slowly, his hands on his stomach.


    ¡°Grant? Why were you on the floor?¡± I asked, wiping my eyes in genuine surprise.


    ¡°You...¡± he looked at me angrily, but didn''t scold me any further. ¡°How are you?¡±


    ¡°Like a chewed-up vegetable,¡± I grumbled, trying to pull myself up on my elbows and rest my back on the pillow. ¡°Where are we?¡±


    ¡°In the hospital. You don''t remember anything?¡± Grant''s black eyes looked at me questioningly.


    ¡°Should I?¡± I asked defiantly, reaching for the glass of water on the bedside table.


    ¡°You went into anaphylactic shock from an allergic reaction to the flowers.¡±


    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Flowers?¡± I almost choked while drinking.


    ¡°Wormwood and dahlias. If they were separate, the symptoms wouldn''t be so bad, but there was a cross-reaction, so you even fainted. That''s what the doctors said.¡±


    I''d never had any allergies before... I bit my lip, trying to process the news. So you go your whole life without knowing you''re allergic to wormwood. It was a plant that was often part of brides'' bouquets. I imagined a girl in a beautiful wedding dress walking down the aisle and dropping dead after inhaling the pollen from her own bouquet.


    I couldn''t help laughing. Isn''t this incredible?


    ¡°You''re laughing?¡± Grant asked offended, trying to reason with me. Yeah, there was no room for laughter in this situation. ¡°You scared me.¡±


    ¡°But for the first time in my life I fainted. At least it was something new,¡± I said, unable to suppress a smile.


    I laughed, trying to come to terms with the events of the past day. Along with the laughter and the rest of my strength, the bad feelings caused by the unpleasant impressions of the evening, the news of the engagement and the allergies left me.


    The president''s son patiently tolerated my hilarious tantrum, not even trying to magically influence me. For once, he understood that I needed to blow off steam and make fun of the pain. I was grateful for that.


    ¡°Forgive me,¡± he said as the room fell into an unfamiliar silence.


    ¡°Never mind. It''s not your fault. Who knew I was allergic?¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry anyway,¡± Grant bowed his head penitently. ¡°I shouldn''t have asked them to make the bouquet for you.¡±


    Did he apologise twice? He really seemed to be brought back to reality when I got into trouble. He sat there so dazed that I actually felt sorry for him. He had black circles under his eyes that matched the colour of his pupils, and his skin was paler than usual.


    ¡°Okay,¡± I decided to take the opportunity. ¡°I''ll forgive you if you buy me something.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± the guy looked up at me, eyeing me suspiciously from under his long lashes.


    ¡°Those bright green trainers. Remember them?¡±


    ¡°No, Siri, anything but that¡­¡± the young man immediately raised his hands with a shriek and moved a metre away from me.


    I smiled at his reaction. One day I''d make him buy me those eye-poison-coloured trainers anyway.


    ¡°Get some sleep. You look worse than me,¡± I decided to show concern too.


    ¡°No, I''ll stay with you. I''ll keep an eye on you. What if you get ¡®suddenly sick¡¯ again, and there is a terrorist attack on the street, and many victims are brought to the hospital, all the doctors will be busy, and I will be the only one who can help you...¡±


    ¡°Do you know how to heal?¡± I grinned.


    ¡°I know a plantain from a burdock,¡± Grant smiled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head.


    I laughed and threw a pillow at him. ¡°Go to sleep, or you''ll soon be lying next to me with an IV too.¡±


    The guy looked at me unhappily, but obeyed. He moved the bed next to mine, made himself comfortable, put his hand under his head and stared at me without blinking.


    ¡°If you don''t close your eyes right now, I''m going to poke them out,¡± I muttered threateningly.


    ¡°All right, all right!¡±


    The boy closed his eyelids, framed by thick eyelashes, smiled innocently and childishly, and really fell asleep.


    I reached up, barely touched his face, ran my fingertips through his soft hair, ruffled it a little. My heart ached with pity for him, and for a moment I gave in to the urge; for a few breaths I really felt sorry for Grant, the son of my sworn enemy.


    He was not guilty of his father''s sins, nor was it his fault that he was born into his family. It was just fate. We were destined to meet, to face each other in a war between the upper and the lower classes, between the rulers and the subordinates, between those who had all the advantages and those who were denied even the right to a decent life.


    I sighed and removed my hand from his head. I turned away so as not to see the image of the young man sleeping peacefully. My gaze fell on the phone on the side table.


    It had been so long since I''d been online that I opened the search page with some trepidation and awe.


    The biggest news in Unica was my engagement to Grant. The civil war had faded into the background, it was barely reported and any posts or videos on the web were immediately deleted.


    The government has always been quick to divert people''s attention from important issues. People were so divided that any upheaval was immediately forgotten unless it was vigorously debated in virtual space.


    It was easy to rule over a man who was afraid to even go to the shop, to avoid speaking to anyone in person or greeting his neighbours. Without live communication, especially between the people and the authorities, any nation dies, as history has shown many times.


    I looked at my country and was frightened, but at the same time I hoped that it would soon disappear. In order to create a new society with more or less correct principles and rules, it was necessary to get rid of the old one.


    Although the civil war had little or no impact on the people of the capital, it had already broken out. I believed that this tiny spark would be the beginning of a great conflagration that would lead to a catharsis.


    And I also trusted in my destiny, which was to take revenge on my life''s enemy. A life with just under two months to go.


    ?  The lilacs were in bloom. The apple trees foamed with lace.


    I looked at her and realised the meaning of the universe.


    I looked at her and realised why I was born.


    The lilacs were in bloom. The apple trees were covered in snow,


    And I looked at her silhouette and realised I loved her. ?

 43. I will be a traitor to my heart

    The hot cocoa burned my lips as I warmed my fingers on the mug.


    There was a cool breeze blowing through the living room, we''d opened the window to let out the smell of burning logs and tar, so I grabbed some sofa cushions, made myself a cosy nest by the fireplace and sighed happily as I watched the orange flames caress the warmth and soft light.


    Grant was lying on his stomach next to me, his elbows resting on the soft pile of the carpet, using a small ottoman as a book stand.


    I watched him furtively from under my lashes, admiring the play of shadows on his pale, handsome face. The guy brushed his fringe from his eyes, lazily reached for the page and turned it. His pupils moved quickly, he read the lines eagerly.


    Sometimes his eyebrows would rise in surprise, moving to the bridge of his nose when he frowned, but every now and then a slight smile would slip across his lips, causing a faint dimple to appear for a moment on his right cheek.


    I put my book aside; I was more interested in the person next to me. I turned to Circul.


    ¡°What are you reading?¡±


    ¡°A hawk wheeled in the sky over their heads, a sign of warning at the beginning of a journey. Richard thought to himself that the sign was totally unnecessary,¡± Grant grinned as he read out the passage.


    I immediately leaned forward.


    ¡°What, you''re reading that story?¡± I looked over the guy''s shoulder to make sure.


    ¡°I''m rereading,¡± he stretched, closed the book and rolled over onto his back, resting his head on the pillow and staring at the ceiling.


    ¡°It''s one of my favourite fantasy series,¡± I informed him, once again amazed at our similar literary tastes.


    ¡°You have every fantasy book as a favourite,¡± the president''s son said with a certain scepticism, focusing his gaze on me.


    ¡°Hmm... what''s true is true,¡± I didn''t even bother to deny it. ¡°Who is your favourite character in the story?¡±


    ¡°Kahlan Amnell.¡±


    ¡°I thought it was Darken Rahl.¡±


    He looked at me reproachfully, which made me want to smile guiltily.


    ¡°Okay, I won''t do it again,¡± I said as I moved to a more comfortable position so I could see him better. ¡°Why Kahlan?¡±


    Grant raised his eyes to the ceiling again, pondering.


    ¡°She is very intelligent. She speaks all the languages of the many peoples of the three countries and most of the small settlements in the Midlands. Kahlan is independent, has a pure soul, a kind nature and is resilient. She is gentle, conscientious. And she''s also brave and proud,¡± Circul smiled in a way that made my heart warm.  ¡°She has almost no family or friends because of her situation, but she never despaired. And she always believed in the Seeker and never doubted him.¡±


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    ¡°Wow, you have so much to say about her,¡± I was truly amazed.


    ¡°She also hates cheese.¡±


    ¡°What''s the point?¡±


    ¡°I hate it, too.¡±


    I grinned. ¡°At this rate, you''ll love every character who doesn''t like cheese?¡±


    Grant shrugged and looked at me curiously. ¡°What''s your favourite character?¡±


    ¡°Shar.¡±


    The young man raised an eyebrow. ¡°Shar? I don''t remember this one.¡±


    ¡°She was a night wisp ¨C the kind of magical creature, like moths or fireflies, that lived in the magic forest and held important secrets.


    Grant frowned and I rushed to clarify. ¡°Shar died the first time she met Richard. She could not live long away from her home and others of her kind. The night wisp sacrificed her life to help Kahlan cross the boundary, saving her people in the process. Had Kahlan not met Richard, Darken Rahl would have succeeded in destroying not only her kind but all the living.¡±


    ¡°I remember,¡± Circul let out a soft breath, sadness glowing in his eyes. ¡°The night wisps are something like the netlagas.¡±


    I shuddered inwardly as I heard the familiar word. The familiar word from Virtul, a word that instantly hurt my weak heart.


    Netlagas were demigod birds that lived in the most beautiful place in the game. They were tiny, their feathers glowed, and they always flew in flocks.


    If you caught one, you would have 24 hours to use its feather to bring back a dead friend from the other side, or else his avatar would be lost from the game forever.


    The netlaga feather had resurrection power, but it had to be plucked near the dead player, so separated netlagas often died of homesickness at the resurrection site.


    One life in exchange for another.


    I only caught the netlaga once, resurrecting my friend, but the bird''s death brought bitterness. Even though I knew the creature was only a tool of the System, it was hard to watch its last breaths.


    ¡°I wish netlags existed in our world too... I''d resurrect my mother,¡± Grant''s lips trembled and he quickly covered his eyes with the back of his hand. ¡°I was only five when she left. How I wish the netlags would bring her back...¡±


    The young man''s free hand gripped the pillow so tightly that his knuckles turned white. A small sob broke the silence of the living room. Circul turned away.


    ¡°I was six when my mum died,¡± I said, just so I wouldn''t hear his pain. Since then, you know, it''s like I''ve been living a dream. I was scared, sad, uncomfortable, funny, happy... And I kept telling myself to calm down: ¡®It''s just a dream. It will end one day.¡¯ Life is so much like a dream...¡±


    ¡®And Di was also six years old when she lost me...¡¯


    I smiled awkwardly, banishing the grim thought.


    ¡°A dream where waking up is the worst thing that can happen,¡± Grant added.


    I looked at his back. His shoulders slumped and his dark hair tousled.


    ¡°Perhaps. But if we don''t wake up, we won''t know if reality is beautiful. I want to know what''s beyond the dream.¡±


    Circul sighed, wiped his eyes and turned back to me.


    ¡°I''m sorry,¡± he muttered, acting as if nothing had happened.


    I was silent, trying to forget this moment as quickly as possible.


    ¡°What was your nickname in the game?¡± Grant asked suddenly, snapping me out of my daze.


    I replied, the sound of my own Virtul''s name making my heart pound.


    The guy grinned in surprise and squinted at me, a smile playing on his lips again. ¡°You know, I think we''ve met before.¡±


    I glanced at him in disbelief.


    ¡°About two years ago. The capital of Yonari. The Guild Council. The Garden of Nameless Flowers. Come on.¡± Stars shone into his black eyes from the flames of the fireplace.


    And I remembered... remembered with vivid clarity our first meeting.

 I will be a traitor to my heart pt2

    ¡®The wind played with the crowns of the trees, rustled the leaves that let the sun''s rays break through the green veil, sundogs ran across the lush grass.


    A sea of blue and purple buds with white veins on the petals swayed in the breeze. These flowers had no name, too rare and precious, only in this place could their beauty be truly appreciated.


    The open buds reached for the azure sky, the toothed leaves of dragon-green embraced their companions, the thin thorns, silvered at the tips, evoked an involuntary respect for these proud plants, whose most astonishing attribute was their scent.


    The nameless creations of nature smelled different to everyone. For some it was a delicate rose, for others a meadow, for others lime-tree honey. The most pleasant aroma.


    A barely visible path led me to a tall, solitary willow tree growing in the middle of this bluish-lilac lake of flowers.


    Beneath the branches of the shady tree was a small bridge that offered a delightful view. Butterflies did their dance, cicadas hummed in the grove, it was so wonderful to be here, to breathe the delicious air, to catch the slightest whiff of the breeze.


    I put my foot on the first tread of the bridge and heard the creak of wood, as if someone was coming up from the other side. I raised my head and met the gaze of black eyes. A man in ornate dark robes was staring at me in surprise, the hilt of a sword behind his back.


    Black hair? A swordsman? A scarlet rose embroidered on his chest?


    I grinned and ran up the stairs at lightning speed, stopping in the middle, my right hand immediately reaching for the rapier on my belt. ¡°I was here first. Go away.¡±


    The guy was discouraged by my tone, but quickly got over his feelings.


    ¡°Can''t we admire the view together?¡± he asked in a pleasant voice.


    ¡°Anyone but you. If you were the last player in Virtul, I''d kill you without a second thought,¡± I said, drawing my sword halfway from its scabbard, the blade glinting in the sunlight.


    ¡°Why didn''t I please you?¡± the young warrior asked with a grin, resting his palm on the hilt of his sword¡­¡¯


    ¡°You almost challenged me to a duel,¡± Cirkul chuckled, putting his hands behind his head and stretching.


    ¡°So it was you?¡± The realisation only hit me now, and I sat there with my mouth open, staring at the guy I''d considered my nemesis in the game. ¡°Are you the senior officer of the Black Wind Guild? Weren''t you the one who took our loot in the battle with the Beast King?¡±


    ¡°How many times do I have to tell you? It was an accident, we were in the mountains with our party when this mob came at us. How did we know he was your prey? It was only Mr Noob Stew who knocked him out with one punch.¡±


    ¡°It took us two days to track him down and twenty-four hours to remove the Life Scale,¡± I almost growled. ¡°And all you did was knock once and take all the benefits.¡±


    ¡°We didn''t know,¡± Grant shrugged, which made me even more angry.


    ¡°We gave you proof, asked you to share, and you...¡± I kicked him in the side.


    ¡°For what?¡± Bending over from the kick, Grant looked at me with innocent eyes.


    ¡°You deserved it,¡± I muttered, still trying to shake off years of resentment towards him.


    ¡°Winner takes all. Always, Siri.¡±


    ¡°Then you said the same thing.¡±


    ¡°You organised this Guild Council for a few useless artefacts. Weren''t you ashamed to fight over something so trivial?¡±


    ¡°Those. Were. Not trivial things,¡± said I. ¡°There were important ingredients for potions we had spent months making with the whole clan.¡±


    I looked at the former Black Wind officer with disdain. Our guilds had always fought for supremacy on the server. Wind was more of a military clan, while the Northern Crown was a more neutral community that specialised in peaceful gaming practices.


    Because of this looting incident, a war broke out that affected almost all of Unica''s servers. Grida, my beloved clan leader, had many allies who stood up for us.


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    When Grant and I met on the bridge in the Garden of Nameless Flowers that afternoon, we almost killed each other, but were stopped by our guildmates.


    ¡°I had challenged you to a duel according to the rules of Virtul, to be held in the Arena of Asire,¡± the guy remembered.


    I smiled at the memory of the angry and arrogant message I had received from the Black Winds officer the day after the unfortunate encounter.


    ¡°But you didn''t come,¡± Circul''s voice brought me back to reality.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I smiled sweetly at him. To be honest, I didn''t want to duel with him. It would have been suicide. Grant''s avatar was one of the top ten players on the server, and I had no chance.


    The only thing I could do was to apologise and ask for the challenge to be cancelled. Otherwise, I would simply die without the right to resurrection.


    ¡°I always wondered why?¡±


    ¡°Di was very sick,¡± I said sadly, remembering how my daughter had suddenly fallen ill with an unknown disease. Even though I knew it was hard for NPCs to die, it was unbearable to see Adisi suffer. Krile and I searched through all the books on healing and rare herbs to find out what our little girl was allergic to. ¡°The System considered this a valid excuse to cancel the duel.¡±


    ¡°So I''ve been waiting like a fool in the arena all day for nothing?¡± Circul exhaled in disappointment and ran a hand through his hair.


    The guy had such a crushed expression on his face that I couldn''t help but laugh.


    ¡°It''s all in the past,¡± I murmured, wiping away the tears that were welling up in my eyes. Virtul was gone, everything that had once seemed important and worthy of attention, all the arguments and squabbles now forgotten and ridiculous. The only thing that mattered was relationships. ¡°Did you have any best friends in the game?¡± I looked at Circul with curiosity.


    The social circle of his real life was too narrow, it was immediately obvious that he never aspired to be the soul of the company, he was reluctant to make new acquaintances and lazy to strengthen favourable relations.


    ¡°I was part of a team with Kai, Dav and some other friends of mine.¡±


    ¡°Oh, right. Mr Noob Stew. I''ve seen him around you in councils and battles. Did you know him well?¡±


    The legends of Mr Noob Stew were everywhere in Virtul. Even I''d come across him, met him in person a few times. He usually sat in the street taverns and told stories of his ridiculous adventures.


    He was nicknamed Mr Noob Stew because he always acted like an awkward newcomer to the game, even though he was considered one of Virtul''s veterans. Some players thought he was actually an older woman. But no player in Vir was funnier or more witty than him.


    ¡°Mr Noob Stew became my best friend. Although I never found out who he really was,¡± Grant said sadly.


    I nodded in understanding. I had many acquaintances and friends whose real lives I knew nothing about. It was a kind of code.


    It was not common to talk about real life in Virtul. The head of a guild or an elected king might be a simple janitor, while the chairman of a large corporation might walk around in the avatar of an elven woman.


    ¡°Abi and Dav were often angry with him for bringing the team down. We dreamed of being the strongest squad in the game.¡±


    ¡°Abi?¡± I''ve heard that name before.


    ¡°The girlfriend of Dav.¡±


    ¡°He has a girlfriend?¡± I couldn''t hide my surprise. ¡°I''d never seen her before.¡±


    ¡°She died...¡± the young man breathed out quietly.


    ¡°Is that why Dav is so sad all the time?¡±


    Circul nodded.


    ¡°Let''s not talk about it,¡± the guy smiled sadly and reached for a mug of cold cocoa. ¡°Did you have a best friend in the game?¡± He turned to me with interest.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I smiled happily, coming to my senses. ¡°Grida. She was the head of the clan.¡±


    ¡°NPC?¡± He gave me an astonished look.


    ¡°And why not? You had a girlfriend who was an NPC,¡± I shrugged. ¡°Grida had a very stubborn attitude towards certain things in life. She just hated men and used bad words whenever she could,¡± I took my mug too, hiding a smile behind it. I had disliked the male gender for a long time too, listening to my friend''s speeches. ¡°She had a dream to unite all the guilds into one and ban men from joining.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Grant almost choked.


    ¡°You know, everyone should have a dream, even if it''s the craziest one,¡± I rushed to justify my friend, even though she didn''t exist. ¡°Otherwise it all seems meaningless. What''s your dream?¡±


    ¡°The sea,¡± the president''s son covered his eyelids and breathed deeply. ¡°When I was a child, my mother and I lived in a cottage on the coast for a few months. I collected shells, caught crabs and fed the seagulls,¡± Circul smiled, his face glowing with peace and hope that made me want to smile too. ¡°At least to see the sea again...¡±


    Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at his words and a warm feeling ran through my veins. I loved to look at Grant when he had that bright and captivatingly beautiful expression on his face.


    ¡°And then what? What will you do when you have fulfilled this dream?¡± My question shattered the moment and made the man open his eyelashes.


    He looked at me, then raised and lowered his shoulders, so much nonchalance creeping into his gesture. Grant had it all: looks, health, wealth, a little intelligence and good family connections. The whole world was open to him, any road he chose would be a red carpet, and flowers would be planted along the roadside to please the eye.


    ¡°I don''t know. I''ll decide by the sea.¡±


    ¡°Hmmm...¡± I leaned back on the pillows and raised my eyes to the ceiling.


    Silence fell over the living room. In the distance, Barg could be heard barking outside, and grasshoppers sang an ode to the warm night. The fire was almost out, and the young man hurried to add more logs; the flames crackled cosily again, chasing away the shadows.


    ¡°And what is your dream?¡±


    I looked at Grant''s back. The question surprised me. I hadn''t thought he''d be curious. ¡°You know, I was going to die¡­¡±


    ¡°I remember you saying that.¡±


    We fell silent again. I had no idea what Circul¡¯s thoughts were, but mine were the last few days before Virtul''s closure. How I''d said goodbye to Di and Krile, how I''d made the worst decision of my life.


    ¡°And why did you want to die?¡± he asked after a while.


    I sat up sharply, cold. I moved closer to the fire, closer to Grant.


    ¡°Because your father took away the one thing that gave my existence meaning,¡± I said quietly, staring into the void.

 I will be a traitor to my heart pt3

    ¡°Siri, I''m sorry.¡±


    The guy took my hand in his, his palm hot, the tips of my icy fingers touching the beating vein on his wrist. I glanced shyly at the young man and saw more sympathy and understanding in his face than I was used to.


    I just burst into tears. I talked and talked, staring into Grant''s sparkling eyes. I told him what Virtul meant to me, how I had decided to destroy myself after Rizor''s announcement of the game''s closure, how I had decided to put my body in perfect order before I ended it, because it wasn''t right to go to the afterlife looking like a mess. How I used the last of my savings to buy expensive, beautiful clothes and go to the hairdresser. How I had to go to the dentist''s because I didn''t like brushing my teeth very much and I got cavities. How I found myself in a basement with strangers. How I ended up in a box with a bomb around my neck and how scared I was of the unknown.


    I exhaled, catching my breath after a long monologue full of inner pain and worry.


    I''d bared my soul to the son of my enemy, and now the embarrassment came in waves. I wish I could escape... if only not to hear that steady, calm breathing, not to feel the warmth of another man''s body, not to hear the beating of his heart, not to see the pitiful look in his eyes.


    I lowered my eyes and looked down at our hands. Circul Junior was still holding my palm, reassuring me.


    ¡°Um, yes, you are here now thanks to tooth decay.¡± His ridiculous joke broke the tension.


    ¡°This proves the theory that ¡®if you don''t brush your teeth, you''ll get in trouble¡¯,¡± I added with a laugh.


    ¡°Trouble?¡± he looked at me reproachfully.


    ¡°I''m sorry,¡± I said guiltily, lowering my head.


    Grant laughed out loud.


    ¡°I keep forgetting that you don''t like criticism and bad reviews of anything associated with you,¡± I said with a smirk.


    The guy sighed, let go of my hand and yawned, making me yawn too.


    ¡°Siri, you''re incorrigible,¡± he scolded me with a smile.


    ¡°I know,¡± I lifted my chin defiantly, proud of my character trait that I really liked.


    ¡°Thank you for your honesty.¡±


    I suddenly lost the urge to have fun. There was an ocean of seriousness in Grant''s words.


    The guy frowned at me. ¡°What? You have that look.¡±


    ¡°Do you thank me for telling you the truth? Grant Circul, you are an extraordinary person.¡±


    The guy grinned, sipped from his mug and then said, staring into the firelight with a look that didn''t suit his youthful face: ¡°I''ve seen a lot in my short life. People have different priorities, the currency of values is an uncertain thing. A person can trade in money, property, but the most expensive things are intangible concepts: feelings, words, truth. Everyone chooses the most valuable things in life.¡±


    I remembered the Church''s postulate of seven essential spiritual values: ¡®Health, which brings time; time, which experiences love; love, which leads to knowledge; knowledge, which causes development; development, which gives freedom; and freedom, which represents creativity¡¯.


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    ¡°And have you set your priorities? What comes first for you?¡± I smiled and crawled closer to him, where I could lean against him comfortably and feel the warmth of his body.


    ¡°Sincerity,¡± Grant''s eyes reflected the flame. ¡°I hate people who lie, who poison the universe with lies. So,¡± he turned his head in my direction to meet my gaze, ¡°thank you again for your honesty. I appreciate you opening up to me. I understand you better now.¡±


    The guy''s quiet voice made me uneasy, my heart racing, heat rising to my cheeks. Circul was too close, staring straight at me, studying me. I pulled back a little, trying not to make any sudden movements. He swallowed. Why had we gone from talking about confessors to talking about understanding?


    A tickle crept up my nose. I sneezed. Grant yawned again, made himself comfortable and went back to reading.


    I got up to get the blanket off the chair, I was a bit cold and too lazy to close the window ¨C it was too far to walk. The chain jingled pathetically.


    I looked at the metal reflecting the flames of the fire. This morning we shortened the leash a few more centimetres and the bomb collar reacted at eighteen paces.


    The distance between me and Circul diminished. And the less it became, the more we got to know each other. The distance between us was not only shrinking in physical planes, but our souls were reaching out to each other. And sometimes that frightened me more than a deadly garrotte around my neck.


    My unfortunate chain-mate fell asleep with a book in his hands. I laughed silently, took the fantasy volume from his fingers, covered him with a blanket and put a pillow under his head.


    I looked at Grant as he slept and thought about the quote I had read this morning.


    ¡®A person always needs a person. At least someone to talk to. To share daily trivialities as well as some spiritual problems. To have someone who cares and listens. An illusion of communication, a guarantee of not being alone. To feel warmth. Even at a distance. To know that you can write to someone and hear a kind word. Because it is wrong for a person to have only himself. One needs support, even a small step, to avoid falling into the abyss of despair. No one should be alone. No one deserves it¡­¡¯


    Yes, I didn''t deserve to be lonely. What was wrong with giving in to my feelings, tasting the taste of a relationship?


    My heart sank as I remembered Grant''s words in the hospital room when he''d thought I was unconscious.


    I pretended that I hadn''t heard, that I hadn''t noticed. But it was painful to catch long, studying glances from the guy I was used to, who had always been there for me and knew all my weaknesses, habits and preferences.


    I was pleased by his attention, but at the same time I shuddered at the thought of how he would look at me in the future when he found out that I had killed his father with my own hands.


    I kept telling myself that I shouldn''t have given in to my feelings and emotions. I was drawn to Grant as a friend, as someone who understood and could listen.


    Part of me wanted to stop seeking revenge, to let things go, even to give up the idea of suicide, but the other part of my soul was harder than stone and colder than ice.


    My iron determination did not waver before the pleas of my heart. From the tips of my hair to the nails of my toes, I wanted death. Death for my enemy and for myself. And nothing could stop the future. I had already chosen the end.


    My eyes fell on the page of the book I''d put aside when I''d covered the president''s son with a blanket. ¡®People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it''s true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People¡¯s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool¡­¡¯


    So be it, all right, I''ll be stupid. I''ll be stupid and delude myself. I will reject any thought of changing my plan. For I have long since decided what is true for me. If it feels like a lie to my heart now, I will be lying to myself to the end.


    One of the wizard''s rules is: ¡®Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one''s self.¡¯ If so, I''ll be a traitor.


    I looked up at the brightening sky outside the window; we''d been talking most of the night. I exhaled and locked my joyful heart, which felt free and warm, back into the kennel.


    I will be a traitor, putting on a chain the most precious thing I have ¨C the core of my feelings and emotions that rumbles every time I look at Grant. I will be a traitor.


    I will be a traitor to my heart.

 44. We were now equals

    We fell asleep by the fireplace, on the carpet and cushions covered with a single plaid. The last thing I remembered was hugging Cirkul''s warm back and nuzzling my nose into the collar of his shirt.


    It was late morning and I stretched out and opened my eyes. I was lying on the bed in Grant''s and my bedroom; it seemed he''d brought me here.


    The guy was in the dressing room, hangers banging together as he picked out clothes.


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    I sat up on the bed and raised my hand to unravel the braid that had become dishevelled during the night, but I froze, unable to believe my eyes.


    My left wrist was now encircled by a bracelet almost identical to that of the president''s son, only thinner and more feminine. A chain was attached to the strap.


    I was no longer on a leash; now our hands were joined by metal links. We were now equals.


    My heart stopped ¨C the gift was too unexpected ¨C and then started beating again as I glanced at the bedside table.


    In front of me was a shoebox containing a pair of trainers the colour of ¡®eye-poison¡¯.

 45. Why did I not?

    ¡°It''s raining!¡± I shouted happily and ran to the window.


    Big tears from the sky fell on the tiles of the courtyard, I opened the sashes and immediately a cool freshness hit my face. The sun glittered in the puddles; the drops trembling on the tips of the leaves sparkled in the rays.


    ¡°Where?¡± his voice rang in my ear. Grant managed to pull his lazy body away from the sofa where he''d spent the morning reading. ¡°Shall we go outside?¡± he suggested first.


    I myself wanted to feel the cooling splashes on my skin, for the last few days the city had suffered from hot temperatures, the stuffy air made it hard to breathe and I longed for movement and freedom. The rain gave us these sensations.


    We ran out onto the lawn in light t-shirts and shorts. I kicked off my trainers and let the grass tickle my bare feet. I spun around, exposing my face to the heavenly water.


    Grant kept up with me, collecting the rain in his palms and then trying to catch up and splash me.


    Barg came running at our cries, enjoying his new game ¨C biting into Siri''s heels ¨C and I squealed and ran until I was able to climb over the fence.


    The dog didn''t like the situation so he turned his attention to Circul Junior, and within a minute we were sitting on the low fence together, teasing Kai''s pet with our bare feet.


    The rain would not stop, the sun was still peeking out from behind the clouds, but the thunder rumbled more often and closer with each thunderclap, and the air grew several degrees colder.


    I looked at Grant, his clothes soaked through, he was shivering in the freezing rain, his black hair curling slightly with the moisture, it was unusual to see him like this.


    ¡°If we catch a cold, Midi will kill us,¡± said the guy, spoiling the mood.


    I had no time to say something sarcastic like ¡®don''t they harden you in ice holes at the military academy?¡¯, but my sneeze rang out in the neighbourhood.


    Circul must have had a second sight.


    By nightfall we were both running a fever. Midea lamented the stupidity of us getting sick on the first day of summer, and then marvelled at our snotty faces, still overjoyed at the news of our engagement. Grant didn''t bother to tell her that this was fictitious.


    The housekeeper gave us potions and told us not to get out of bed.


    And the long hours began, as we lay in each other''s arms, burning with fever or dying of cold, sneezing in turns. My throat was unpleasantly scratchy, my nasopharynx sore and my nose running. In the morning we fell asleep.


    Enraged by our behaviour, the president threatened to call in a psychiatrist to fix our brains, but Midi calmed him down, telling him that we would soon recover, and reminding him that Rizor himself had rarely taken care of his health in his younger days.


    It rained non-stop. We woke up in the afternoon, had some broth prepared by the housekeeper and even read the newspaper that had been brought with breakfast. There was no interesting political news, just the same issues that had been discussed for months, from different angles.


    I wrapped myself in the blanket and pulled it up to my nose. Grant read something funny and giggled.


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    ¡°Can you smell it? It smells like something burning,¡± Circul suddenly looked at me.


    I frowned and sniffed the air.


    ¡°You can''t smell things,¡± I remembered.


    ¡°No, this one''s so strong it hits my dead sense of smell,¡± the guy said, more serious than ever.


    ¡°Wiring, perhaps?¡± I sat on the bed and tried to take a full breath through my barely breathing nose.


    ¡°It''s my heart. It''s burning...¡± he whispered.


    I choked on the curse word I was about to use and looked at Grant in disbelief. Was this his way of making fun of me out of boredom? And yes, there was a twinkle in the president''s son''s black eyes. He laughed at my reaction, but immediately coughed. Yeah, someone''s brain had melted from the temperature. I didn''t recognise him as my nemesis.


    ¡°You''re kidding me, aren''t you?¡± I glared menacingly at the naughty guy. ¡°All right, you asked for it!¡±


    My fingers moved to his stomach.


    ¡°Forget it? I''m not ticklish,¡± he told me with a touch of superiority and arrogance. ¡°But you are.¡±


    And with a devilish grin, Grant turned me onto my back, took me in his arms and tickled me.


    How the whole house hadn''t come running to my cries for help was still a mystery to me. I tried to get out of the killing zone, even crawling to the edge of the bed, but Circul pulled me back in, laughing wickedly as he tortured my body.


    Then I decided to go to the ultimate extreme ¨C a few minutes later the guy''s forearms were covered in red marks from my teeth.


    ¡°It hurts!¡± said the guy, rubbing the bites, when we had calmed down, made a truce and divided the bed into two equal parts with a chain like normal people, promising not to interfere with the other half.


    ¡°You''re a softie,¡± I looked at my bites and couldn''t get enough. ¡°The skin on your hands is softer than a girl''s.¡±


    He glanced at me angrily and declared a boycott. For an hour or two Grant managed to keep his mouth shut. Then the young man fell asleep, no longer sniffling resentfully in my direction. I watched him, struggling with the reality that was slipping away, my mind fighting to keep from falling into a fever.


    Circul was dreaming something bad, and he frowned every now and then, making a shallow crease between his eyebrows. His black strands were sticky with sweat and spread across the pillow.


    His skin was even paler than usual, but there was an unhealthy flush in his cheeks. His long, lustrous eyelashes stretched upwards, curling slightly at the tips.


    Suddenly I felt an unbearable burning sensation in the pads of my fingers and, unable to resist the urge, I lightly touched his eyelashes.


    Grant opened his eyes sharply. They were so close to me that I could see that there were barely visible specks of light around the edges of the black irises.


    The guy''s initial surprise had passed, and now he was studying my face just as intently.


    ¡°You have a birthmark here. I hadn''t noticed it before,¡± he touched the corner of my right eyebrow.


    His eyes searched my features in complete silence, as if seeing everything for the first time. His slender fingers brushed over my burning cheek, sliding down my temple, tucking my hair behind my ear, down to my chin and neck. He reached up and closed his eyelids.


    I didn''t even notice the moment when our lips met. The kiss was feverishly hot and tasted of the herbs Midi had put in our tea.


    My heart was racing with excitement mixed with ease and confusion, it was my first kiss with a real person, so I responded, only wanting to prolong the pleasant sensation.


    A wave of uncertainty washed over me as soon as we broke contact. Doubt, fear, came over me, shattering the idyll, making my ears ring.


    Grant took a deep breath without opening his eyes and moved towards me again, but I thought of nothing else but pretending to be driven by a delirious fever and exhaled with a smile: ¡°Krile... Krile, you''re so gentle tonight.¡±


    The guy froze, tense. The electrified air around us seemed to grow cold.


    I swallowed, afraid of Grant''s reaction, but he merely rose from the bed, avoided my gaze, dropped the chain bracelet from his hand and disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.


    I buried my head under the covers, face pressed to the pillow, burning with shame.


    It was wrong, it wasn''t meant to be. I loved the other man, even though he didn''t exist, Grant had his own lover in Virtul too, we had no right to be so reckless.


    My heart, pounding with the overwhelming emotions that had overtaken it, clenched painfully. I felt as if I had betrayed myself, betrayed my soul, forgotten myself for a moment.


    How could I have fallen so low? My shame was as great as my fever, and my tears were hot and bitter, full of remorse.


    I shouldn''t have let Circul make that move, all I had to do was turn away, not let him kiss me ¨C and no one would have been hurt. But why didn''t I do it? Why did I not?

 46. My dandelion

    By late afternoon our fever was back up to 39. I endured the sore throat stoically, but Grant was literally dying.


    The president couldn''t take it any longer and finally ordered a doctor to be called. The doctor prescribed some magic medicine and rest. Even magic couldn''t cure us overnight.


    It was obvious that Circul Junior had tried several times to talk about our recent kiss and bring clarity to our already complicated relationship, but I did my best to avoid explanations and answers that would only make things worse.


    My eyes hurt like hell from any light, and it was unbearable to look at the world, so Grant volunteered to read something until the medication made me fall asleep. He opened the first book I''d borrowed from Midi. He stopped at the first paragraph.


    ¡°What on earth are you reading?¡± He slammed the book shut and threw it away.


    ¡°It''s dark fantasy with horror and detective elements. What''s your problem with it?¡±


    Grant just grimaced at my question and sent a voicemail to Kai, who ten minutes later brought us the ¡®least worrying book ever¡¯.


    ¡°Enjoy,¡± Asanor winked as he handed us a folio from the library.


    ¡®All About Dandelions¡¯ was the title. I exhaled in disappointment.


    ¡°A botanical reference book? Really?¡± My indignation was unparalleled.


    The blonde-haired man just smiled mischievously and retreated quickly to avoid catching the gloom, melancholy and sickly germs.


    Grant was more optimistic, scanned the table of contents. ¡°Oh, there are even fairy tales in here. Shall I read them to you?¡±


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    I nodded so he wouldn''t bother me anymore.


    ¡°The Story of the Dandelion,¡± the young man cleared his throat, took a sip of his lemon tea and began, taking a deep breath, ¡°People say that first love can''t be happy...¡±


    ¡°No, no, let''s read something else.¡±


    Grant grinned but stopped.


    He flipped through the pages, reading passages about plants, commenting on them and comparing them with me.


    ¡°Do you remember when we had that game of forfeits and you had to choose the flower that was most like you? You seemed like a dandelion to me at that time. ¡®The dandelion is a very curious member of the plant kingdom...¡¯ just like you.¡±


    I lay on the bed with my hands under my head, staring at the ceiling and listening to the guy''s voice. The medicine had done its job and the cold symptoms were fading by the minute. It was much easier to breathe and think.


    ¡°Well, some people say if you can blow all of the seeds off a dandelion head in one breath then your wish will come true, on the condition that at least one flower grows from the blown off seeds...¡±


    ¡°Do we still have dandelions in the garden? I suddenly had a strange urge to blow them off,¡± I even jumped up, excited by the idea.


    ¡°Where are you going? Stay here,¡± he pulled me back onto the bed by the chain. ¡°Siri, what dandelions? It''s summer.¡±


    I breathed out disappointed. My heart yearned for excitement and action.


    I wanted to go somewhere, do something, save the world. Grant sensed my mood and immediately his magic enveloped me, cooling the emotional heat. Sloth flowed soothingly through my veins and my heart calmed.


    And the peaceful voice of Circul continued to lull me to sleep: ¡°Once upon a time it rained for a very long time...¡¯. Just like now. ¡®The whole earth was flooded, and even the dandelions were on the verge of death. A little dandelion prayed to heaven, begging for mercy. And suddenly the wind blew, and the dandelion fluffs flew up and landed on a sunny hill. After a while they sprouted and bloomed. If we follow the wind, we can bloom somewhere else¡­¡±


    ¡°I like that story,¡± I murmured softly as I drifted off to sleep. My eyes closed, darkness enveloped my consciousness, only the last thought lingered on the edge of reality. ¡°I''d like to be a dandelion...¡±


    Grant put the book down, turned to me and carefully pulled the blanket up to my chin.


    The floor lamp went out and night came into the bedroom. It was dark, cool and cosy, with only the rain whispering its song outside the window.


    ¡°Sleep, my dandelion. May you have good dreams,¡± he said, the warmth of his breath against my ear.

 47. Ironically protecting what I most wanted to lose

    ¡°Siri, wake up!¡± overjoyed Grant flopped down on the bed next to me.


    It''s been a long time since I''ve been woken up in such a terrible way.


    I would have given my soul for the chance to reach out and strangle Circul with pleasure. I was so happy in the realm of dreams, I didn''t want to leave, and yet he dragged me out. Never let me die properly, never let me sleep. What kind of life is unjust?


    ¡°Dad has today off, he said he wanted to spend it with us. Get ready,¡± he threw the clothes he''d picked out for me.


    And yes, I''ve never had anyone say such horrible things to me in the early hours of the morning.


    I glanced at the beaming young man pacing the bedroom impatiently. For the second time in a minute, the sinful thought of murder crossed my mind. Only now I had added another person to the blacklist who was already at the top of it.


    We found Rizor in the garden, admiring the flowers and enjoying his morning tea. Grant and I had a quick breakfast, although I couldn''t eat a bite. The black eyes of the country''s leader scrutinised us, and the president was silent most of the time, making the nervous butterflies in my stomach flutter and sending a chill of fear through my blood.


    ¡°Show me what you learned in Oblivion,¡± Circul turned to his son as the dessert was finished.


    The young man wiped his mouth with his napkin, threw it on the tablecloth and stood up with a sigh.


    The guy''s main target was Barg, who was passing by on his business, which usually consisted of deafening barking at squirrels jumping from garden trees onto shed roofs and forgotten statues on the other side of the estate.


    The dog, driven by the emotion directed at him, whimpered and nuzzled me in a way that shocked me. I always ran away from him to save my poor heels, but with Grant''s magic I could even rub Kai''s pet''s ears. He wagged his tail so sweetly it made my fingers itch and I wanted to squeeze the pug.


    It was only a few minutes later that I realised that I, normally terrified of dogs and anything that barks, bites or chews, was now calmly scratching the belly of the hated animal. ¡®No, Grant, why are you doing this to me?¡¯


    I looked doomedly into his black eyes, glowing with magic, I couldn''t even be angry because he had just ¡®erased¡¯ that emotion from me for a while.


    Then came the birds, they fluttered fearlessly around the young man''s arms and gazed curiously at him. One sparrow even landed on Barg''s head and danced on it. It turned its head from side to side.


    Grant commanded the squirrels, the mouse that had the misfortune to crawl out of its hole. Oh, heavens, even ants and wasps changed their behaviour with primitive emotional rudiments. Indeed, the scientist was right when he said that even insects can express anger, fear, jealousy and love through their chatter.


    The president sat relaxed in the wicker chair and watched as the guy simultaneously controlled the creatures, sending them different emotions. I had only theorised how difficult it was to do, but Grant was surprisingly good at it. Despite the beads of sweat on his forehead and the slight trembling of his fingers from the effort.


    When the little ten-minute performance was over, I mentally exhaled.  Grant sat wearily in his seat, slurping a glass of cooled orange juice.


    ¡°Not bad,¡± said the president. ¡°But it could have been better.¡±


    I glared at the tyrant who couldn''t even praise his son properly. I felt so sorry for Grant.


    ¡°What about you, Siri?¡± Rizor suddenly turned his attention to me. ¡°I''ve heard you practice magic too. Would you like to demonstrate?¡±


    My left hand twitched, horrified at having to entertain this terrible man by showing him tricks of the air. The teaspoon fell on the grass and I bent down to pick it up, giving myself time to think. At that moment, several things happened at once.


    The invisible dome surrounding the Minister of Defense''s castle appeared and immediately cracked at the base in several places. A bolt of lightning cut through the clear, cloudless sky, and the thunder that followed shook the ground.


    We all turned and stared at the house in silent amazement. The windows in the right wing, where the president''s office was, had been blown out, and the shockwave had even reached us, shaking our hair and ruffling the tablecloth. A black, magical smog enveloped the building, hiding it from view.


    Rizor stood up, dark power pouring from his eyes as he saw smoke billowing into the sky.


    ¡°Stay here,¡± he threw a spell at us without even looking in our direction.


    I didn''t even have time to blink, let alone dodge, before I was magically bound to Grant. Our backs were pressed together, the ropes shimmering with cold rainbow colours and squeezing my chest so tightly I couldn''t breathe.


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    ¡°Dad!¡± Circul tried to hold his father back, but he was gone.


    With a sinking heart, I watched the tall silhouette of the head of the country disappear into the mist. It was as if a black cloud had covered the castle, magic swirled and stirred, lightning flashed and the wind carried the acrid smell of nitrogen towards us.


    If such a madman would dare to attack one of the most protected places in the land, he must have a well-thought-out plan and some super-deadly magic tricks up his sleeve.


    I shuddered as I heard a piercing, heartbreaking woman''s scream. I felt sorry for the staff, most of whom were not strong enough to defend themselves.


    ¡°We have to run. It''s too open here,¡± I said.


    We were not far from the outer wall. Although we seldom walked in this part of the garden, I knew that beyond the small grove there was a fence with a gate behind which we could hide in a ravine.


    ¡°Have you forgotten?¡± Grant barely moved his hand, where beside the bracelet with the chain was another, flashing a dim green light. ¡°We can''t leave the manor, the magic in these will immobilise us.¡±


    ¡°So what are we going to do?¡±


    ¡°We need to get into Lias'' office and deactivate the trackers on us.¡±


    I looked fearfully in the direction of the smoking building where the screams and rumbling were coming from. It was a mad decision.


    ¡°Let''s go,¡± Circul said without letting me get ready, taking a sharp step.


    I tried to regain my balance but it only made things worse and we both fell to the ground.


    ¡°Shit,¡± muttered the guy who had kissed the green grass with his face.


    We managed to get up with some difficulty. The ropes were tangled and every movement tightened them, leaving red marks on our skin.


    ¡°Stop,¡± the president''s son ordered. ¡°Let''s calm down and wait for the spell to wear off.¡±


    After a while the ropes loosened a little, Grant took a cautious step forward and I stepped on the spot where his foot had been.


    We made it a metre and a half, then the ropes, which kept us in a tight embrace, made it impossible for us to breathe.


    We had to stand still and wait until we had some freedom of movement again. So we walked at a snail''s pace, Grant in front, choosing the direction, and me behind, watching the sunny morning sky and the birds, silenced by the thunder and the tense atmosphere.


    We hadn''t even reached the nearest entrance to the castle, a few metres away, when the ropes the president had placed on us blinked a few times, lost contact with their owner, and then disappeared.


    ¡°Ugh, they''re finally gone,¡± I exhaled in relief, rubbing the elbow of my right hand where the rope had left a deep scarlet mark.


    ¡°Father wouldn''t lift the spell until things settled down... and I can''t feel his magic,¡± Grant swallowed.


    We looked at each other fearfully. Who was strong enough to handle Oblivion''s magic?


    I tried to make sense of what was happening. It seemed that the rebels had decided to take the mad step of nipping evil in the bud by killing Rizor Circul. They weren''t even afraid to break into the home of the Minister of Defense!


    What''s in it for us? If they kill the president, the civil war will probably end, and there will be no one with Oblivion magic on the side of the official government. Yes, the aristocrats are powerful, but as long as they fear the head of state, they are willing to obey and move in one direction. But once the cornerstone falls, all the others will crumble under the onslaught of their own ambitions and carefully suppressed centuries-old enmities between ancient clans.


    But if Rizor really dies now, I won''t be able to take revenge on him personally. My purpose that I''ve cherished for so long will become meaningless? And who would take the bomb from me? Grant''s father was the one who paid for all the research. No, I didn''t want an early funeral for my enemy.


    While I was sorting out my thoughts, Circul Junior coiled the chain into a sort of ball and held it out to me.


    I took my metal leash in one hand, the other grabbed the guy''s shoulder. As soon as we were inside the building, our eyes filled with tears. Almost every room was shrouded in a black fog that made it hard to breathe, hard even to think clearly.


    Lias¡¯ office was on the first floor of the central wing, so we had to walk through some halls, a conservatory, a gallery and guest rooms to get to our destination.


    I had no idea what we were going to do once we got the ¡®tracking cuffs¡¯ off, I decided to trust Grant, he seemed more cold-blooded than I was.


    The guy went first, telling me to watch his back if anything happened. I chased the mist away, using air magic to dispel the black spell.


    A low howl at the end of the corridor made us stop.


    ¡°Who''s here?¡± Circul asked in an almost calm voice.


    ¡°Whoa, whoa, whoa,¡± it howled back.


    Driven by curiosity and with our self-preservation instincts switched off, we pitched forward.


    ¡®These are the moments when the very first fascinating characters in horror films usually die,¡¯ went through my mind.


    It wasn''t that bad. Almost. At least our lives weren''t in danger.


    We came across a girl crying in pain, sitting by the window with her head leaning against the sill. Her dress was stained with blood and she was breathing heavily, sobbing and howling.


    The hairs on my arms stood up at the eerie sight. The pretty face had dark eye sockets, almost black with blood, and the eyeballs were missing.


    I clenched my teeth and tried to suppress the panic and sheer terror. My companion just glanced at the unfortunate woman, not even trying to stop.


    ¡°We must help her.¡±


    ¡°How? We don''t even have any painkillers. We have to keep moving,¡± Grant said in a rush, and I think I knew why ¨C he was desperate to find out what had happened to his father.


    I looked at him reproachfully, wanting to smack him on the head for his heartlessness, and at the same time wanting to run away and forget what I had just seen. Tears came to my eyes, for I felt so sorry for the maid. She was often laughing in the kitchen, helping the cooks peel fruit and vegetables.


    ¡°All right,¡± the man surrendered. He walked over to the servant and placed his palm on her forehead. A few seconds later the sobbing stopped and the poor girl collapsed to the floor. ¡°I made her apathetic.¡±


    ¡°You...¡± I couldn''t find the words to describe my rage.


    ¡°Come on, we don''t have time,¡± he pulled me forward.


    I swallowed my anger and put my hand over my mouth, not wanting all the enemies around us to know we were coming just by hearing my cursing mixed with tearful sobs.


    We were walking through the living room when the wall to our left cracked and collapsed, and the force of the impact sent huge chunks rolling across the floor to the opposite side, hitting the high windows, shattering the panes and sending blocks of stone and the remains of the windows crashing down onto the terrace.


    Fresh air poured in, dispersing the magic smog, and visibility improved considerably.

 Ironically protecting what I most wanted to lose pt2

    I froze when I saw what had become of the former living room and hall. The chain fell from my weakened fingers, frozen in a tangled snake on the floor.


    There were tattered chairs, ruined books, broken vases and people everywhere. Blood, groans, the smell of death and fear ¨C all mixed together.


    In the centre of the room, Lias was fighting three figures in black robes. I recognised the clothes, the same ones the assassin had worn in Grant''s bedroom at the Circul residence.


    Behind the bodyguard, secretary Mirk was kneeling, bent over something, holding a glowing white dome.


    Grant darted to run to Anaris, but another assassin jumped out of the corner, the chain tightened sharply, the stranger tripped and fell to the ground, and I fell backwards.


    The man with the mask on his face bounced nimbly, and I didn''t even notice his movement, just a shadow flying towards me. The only thing I had time to do was throw my hand forward, the magic in my blood surging as the call went out, the powerful gust of air knocking my attacker to the ground, dragging him across the broken floor and throwing him onto the overturned chair legs, the crunch of breaking bone, the man''s barely audible scream before he fell silent forever. The dagger plunged into the only surviving painting.


    No one saw what had just happened, everyone was busy with their own business: Lias was using magic and bullets to take out his opponents, Anaris was holding up the magic shield, and Grant was bent over something, his eyes fixed on the body the first secretary was protecting.


    I had just killed a man, committed one of the worst sins in the universe, but no one paid any attention, the world continued to exist according to its usual laws and temporal flow.


    I wanted to scream out loud, to rip open my chest and let out the tearing soul that couldn''t stand this feeling of being corrupted, tainted, guilty.


    Is this how a murderer feels when he takes a life for the first time? Or are there people who do not experience that sickening feeling of shame that eats away at their insides with the bile of self-loathing?


    Yes, I was saving myself, this crime was committed in self-defence, but my heart was throbbing with pain, the blood that had destroyed other blood was now pounding in it.


    How stupid was I? I wanted to kill the president? I didn''t know that the horror of what I had done would come later. But I swore I''d take revenge¡­


    Once again, thoughts of vengeance brought me back to reality. The tears dried instantly. I had a goal, I was willing to go to hell, to walk in all circles, because my hatred for Rizor Circul overrode even my guilt.


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    I felt I could kill a thousand to make sure the one I needed died.


    I got up and walked on stiff legs to where I''d already guessed Grant''s father was lying. The president was as pale as ever, with scarlet drops on his shirt and a trickle of blood just above his temple, but for better or worse, he was still breathing.


    ¡°Can you make a shield? I''ll help Lias.¡± Mirk lifted his sky-blue eyes to me.


    I nodded hesitantly, I''d never had to create a defence before.


    ¡°Here,¡± he handed me the dagger he''d picked up from the floor. ¡°If you can''t cast a spell, you can protect yourself with this.¡±


    ¡°I''ll help you too.¡± Grant stood up and followed the secretary.


    ¡°No, it''s too dangerous.¡±


    ¡°And yet,¡± the guy insisted, flames raging in his eyes.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Anaris exhaled.


    I watched as the two young men, along with Lias, surrounded the attackers. The forces were now evenly matched.


    The bodyguard knocked the weapon from his opponent''s hands and fought him hand-to-hand. Mirk snatched an icy whip from the air, the end of it whipping the enemy''s legs with precision, while Grant set fire to the third man''s hair and clothes.


    A beam of light slipped through the dissipating mist and glided across the blade, blinding me for a moment. I looked down at the cold steel in my hands, the similar weapon with which my attacker had tried to kill me.


    Ancient daggers that belonged to emperors and were powered by their own masters. Such mighty artefacts were usually kept in the most secure vaults of museums, or in the rare collections of intrepid collectors who weren''t afraid to take care of them. No wonder Rizor was barely breathing, the blades having sucked all the magic out of him.


    My heart skipped a beat or two at the realisation. My palms held one of the deadliest weapons in the world, and the vein in the neck of the man who was still alive was beating softly, and I''d never been so close to my revenge. I swallowed, searching for an answer, a solution, a way to act. What was I supposed to do?


    I could slit his throat or stab him through the heart right now, and then kill myself. Just a couple of moves and I''d be free.


    My fingers trembled, the temptation was so great and I had already forgotten what it felt like to take a life, the guilt was no longer so deep, it floated to the surface and slowly faded away.


    ¡®Siri, come on... just one stroke...¡¯ I persuaded myself. ¡°Oh, just do it. You''ve suffered enough, you can''t get Virtul back... and you can''t get your mother back, you have no reason to breathe. You have no meaning. Nothing makes sense... only death is a happy ending...¡±


    I breathed out. Just like that? Heavens, why am I hesitating?


    And so difficult. But why did the doubts come at the worst possible moment? I stared at the stern face of the country''s leader, studying it, trying to find reasons why I should spare him. But my heart still burned with hatred for the man.


    Only now I wanted to see not his immediate escape from the world, but his long agony. He hadn''t suffered enough. Half term is over, our contract hasn''t expired yet. Just over six weeks to go.


    The bomb around my neck just got a little heavier. I was so sick of it! I threw the dagger away, and it landed on the marble floor with a clatter.


    Perhaps in the future I will regret what I have not done now, perhaps I will tear my hair and swallow tears of remorse, but I will still fulfil the vow I have made to myself. Forty-five days, just four and a half ten-days, and I will have dealt with you, Rizor Circul.

 Ironically protecting what I most wanted to lose pt3

    I clasped my hands together to create an air shield, but it seemed to be in vain. The three men who had been involved in the assassination attempt were lying on the ground.


    ¡°Phew,¡± Mirk exhaled, wiping the sweat from his brow. ¡°I think it''s time to retire.¡±


    ¡°Don''t say such things,¡± Lias coolly cleaned the daggers he had picked up. ¡°It wasn''t your fault that we were attacked. It was Homeland Security and Intelligence that failed.¡±


    Two more bodyguards appeared in the shattered living room, and I never found out what the secretary was going to say.


    ¡°We locked six of them in the cellar,¡± they told us.


    The ground beneath us shook and there was a loud explosion.


    ¡°Not anymore,¡± Lias grinned. ¡°The guests still don''t seem to have realised that they''re not welcome.¡±


    I sighed and strengthened the shield. It saved the president''s and my heads, for the ceiling came crashing down and the old man landed on a sort of air cushion after the pieces of plaster and the ceiling beams.


    ¡°Grandpa!¡± Grant cried as he ran up and helped his relative to his feet.


    ¡°I was sleeping peacefully and these...¡± Asanor glanced at me and changed his expression, ¡°¡­rascals have disturbed my holy morning sleep!¡± Rizor''s father shook off the whitewash. Blood was dripping from the sleeves of his dressing gown, but he hastened to assure us that it was not his.


    ¡°We''d better leave the manor through the...¡± Lias didn''t have time to finish as the guests from the cellar hurried to thank us for our welcome.


    ¡°We have to get the president out of here,¡± Mirk shouted at me through the noise of the battle. ¡°Siri, can you lift him up and carry him through the opening in the wall?¡±


    ¡°I''ll help you!¡± Grant rushed over to me.


    While the others fought, we picked the head of the country up by his arms and legs and dragged him towards the corridor. Spells came at us a few times, but the shield held, and I grinned ¨C not for nothing had Circul and I trained so hard in the Labyrinths of Oblivion.


    Grandfather paved the way for us, beating everyone left and right with his stick. He hit them all, even the ¡®ours¡¯.


    We couldn''t be so lucky all the time, and almost at the exit, the black-cloaked mage sprinted and slashed his dagger at my shield, which shattered on contact with the steel.


    I lowered the president to the ground and spat out the first spell that came to mind, the assassin was knocked down by a gust of wind and a sheaf of thin air spikes completed the job, the man''s body was shredded, no living flesh left.


    It was only after the horrible thought that I had killed for the second time that I felt a sharp pain. The sleeve of my blouse was cut precisely, and on my shoulder was a thin scarlet stripe with a drop of blood gathering at the edge.


    With a hiss I pressed my shoulder, trying to get a feel for the depth of the wound.


    ¡°Did it hit you?¡± Circul stared in disbelief at the dark red trickle of my blood dripping to the floor. The guy froze for a moment, and as a flash of silence cut through the air around him, sparks of fire flickered in his hair. He exhaled, already out of control: ¡°I''m going to kill them.¡±


    I remembered the last time I''d seen him like that. Before Rizor sent us to Oblivion after we escaped from the Hole. So the fire element had taken over again. Things were bad. And there was no one to stop him now.


    ¡°Come, girl,¡± Gisborne pulled me by my healthy shoulder towards the exit. Asanor was calm, no fear for his grandson or worry for the future in his black eyes.


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    Grant screamed, unleashing his fury. The magic was tangible now, the fire turning into a white swirl of flame that didn''t scorch his skin, hair or clothes. But everything else he touched was covered in magical flames.


    The guy turned towards the fighters, blue petals of fire immediately engulfed the black-robed men, it was the first time I had heard such heart-rending cries of agony.


    Everything in me shuddered with horror. I envied Rizor. He was unconscious and could not see the inferno. His son had become the punisher of the underworld.


    Gisborne and I dragged the president out onto the green grass, panting and groaning. The bodyguards ran after us, carrying off their wounded comrades. But not all could be saved. Flames had already covered the first floor.


    Grant was the last to come out, no emotion on his face, but a wild fire in his eyes, blazing with such power that everyone backed away, trying to get out of range.


    I hurried to get him away from the collapsing building, the chain a little charred but still faithful to its task. We couldn''t have been more than fifteen paces apart.


    The flames devoured the stone, which turned to coal before our eyes.


    ¡°I have no idea how to stop the fire,¡± Circul Jr. frowned, biting his lip.


    ¡°This fire is magical, it can only be extinguished by water magic,¡± said Mirk.


    Lias immediately sent for the mages.


    ¡°By the time they get there, the whole place will be burnt down,¡± one of the bodyguards stated the obvious.


    ¡°Yes, but if the fire is not extinguished, it will consume soil, rocks, plants and even air and water.¡±


    I glanced at my neighbour warily. Maybe the bomb wasn''t the worst thing about us. Grant''s powers left me speechless.


    Grandfather Asanor, however, did not seem frightened; on the contrary, he looked at the flames with delight, leaning on his stick.


    ¡°It''s a pity, I liked this little house,¡± he said. ¡°But if it''s meant to burn, it''s meant to burn, isn''t it?¡± And he winked at us.


    The guy smirked, and I grinned bitterly at the fire. It was becoming a tradition. Every time there was an assassination attempt, we''d change where we lived. At this rate we''ll soon visit all the country''s safest places. A sort of pilgrimage to the president''s estates.


    ¡°You have a strong gift of the wind, Siri,¡± Grant complimented me.


    Suddenly. It had been a long time since I''d heard such sincere praise from Circul.


    ¡°Yes, but I was too lazy to develop it,¡± I told the truth, magic had never been my favourite pastime. If it didn''t exist at all, I don''t think I''d be upset. A world without magic is twice as ugly, but it''s twice as safe.


    ¡°Thank heavens they didn''t use guns, just daggers,¡± Lias looked at the trophies Mirk had brought.


    ¡°Just daggers? No magic can save you from this magical cold weapon. If a bullet can be deflected with a shield, the blade of the artefact will cut through your very being,¡± the white lenses of the secretary''s glasses glinted in the light. ¡°Would you let me heal you?¡±


    I flinched. The question was addressed to me with respect. Anaris Mirk had expertly healed my wound, not even a scar.


    It was funny, magic was almost incapable of curing colds or other minor ailments, but perfectly capable of dealing with serious cases like a broken bone or a gunshot wound.


    The surviving bodyguards drove the cars out of the garage. I took one last look at Rizor, who still hadn''t come to his senses. ¡®I''ve given you more time, president. Use it to your son''s advantage, let the collar and chain that bound us be gone forever...¡¯


    I wanted to believe that Circul would honour its part of our contract. And I just tried not to think about the fact that the bomb might never be removed.


    ¡°Mr Cluster will be here soon, he''ll sort things out with the manor,¡± Lias said, repeating the gist of their brief conversation on the phone. ¡°He''s late, news of the attack has already spread.¡±


    I was glad that Grant''s uncle was late. I didn''t want to see him. Every time I''d crossed his path, he''d have a sour face, as if he''d eaten all the lemons at the local orchard. What had I ever done to him? Well, apart from wearing a last generation bomb around my neck.


    ¡°We''ll take care of the president, you''d better go.¡±


    Grant nodded and opened the car door, letting me in. I climbed in, kicked off my trainers, and hunched over in the seat, closing my eyes and trying to forget... everything.


    Gisborne sat in the front seat, holding Barg, who had missed all the fun and only came running at the end. The driver asked for the address and started the engine.


    Circul moved towards me and without a word, he embraced me and pulled me close. We both needed that hug.


    Outside the window, the roofs of the houses in the suburbs and the green crowns of the trees, where the sun played with light and shadow, rushed by. Asanor lowered the window and the divine scent of the lime trees in blossom came on the breeze.


    It was a late summer morning, the weather was pleasant, and on a day like this you couldn''t help but give in to the general mood of nature and smile, breathe deeply and feel the sense of renewal and hope itself.


    But I was shaking, sobbing, unable to resist the hysteria. The wounded in the manor, the girl with no eyes, they were all burning alive in the fires of hell. I had no doubt that even with Kai''s hypnotic help I''d still have nightmares.


    A painful experience broke into my carefree existence. Before, I had only seen a peaceful death, calm and perfect in its beauty.


    But today Death played on the darkest strings of my soul and turned the world upside down before my eyes. I became a killer, I killed a man... ironically protecting what I most wanted to lose ¨C my life.

 48. I was scared

    The city was buzzing below. I sat by the window, leaning my forehead against the cool glass. The sunset was painting the outskirts of the capital in blood-red hues, and it was surprisingly entertaining to watch the world from above as the lights came on.


    We stayed on the top floor of one of the tallest buildings in Lous, the island of peace and comfort we all needed so much after our recent experiences.


    Gisborne had gone down to the restaurant to eat his favourite delicacies, and Grant and I declined his offer to join him. We couldn''t take a bite. I just wanted to forget myself in my sleep, to escape reality so that what had happened in the morning would fade into the oblivion of time.


    But two hours ago I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding with fear. I looked at Circul Junior, who looked no better than I did.


    ¡°I''m glad to see I''m not the only one who has nightmares.¡± I let out a sad sigh.


    The guy offered to take a sleeping pill. He fell asleep immediately, and I remained sitting on the floor by the sofa, waiting for the saving darkness without dreams to cover me.


    I closed my eyes and yawned. My brain was barely thinking, even my blood was flowing sluggishly through my veins, but sleep was still not coming. The smell of black pepper wafted in and made me want to sneeze. I sniffed, trying to find the source of the smell.


    ¡°What is it? Are you dead?¡±


    I was startled by the sudden cheerfulness of Asanor''s voice. Dav stared in surprise at Grant, who was lying on the sofa in the most ridiculous position, one foot on the soft back and the other buried under a pile of cushions.


    ¡°We''re rehearsing,¡± said I.


    A faint smile played across Asanor''s lips. He sat down in the chair, and now I had to look up at him because I was sitting on the carpet.


    ¡°I''ve wanted to talk to you for a long time,¡± Dav said. He glanced at his cousin to make sure he was really asleep and continued, ¡°In private.¡±


    I raised my eyebrows in surprise. What did I need to talk to him about?


    Seeing my reaction, the young man came closer and looked at me conspiratorially. ¡°Didn''t you read my note from the bouquet?¡±


    I frowned, remembering the momentous engagement gift from Grant that I''d thrown in the fire without bothering to read the congratulations.


    ¡°And I wondered why you didn''t want to meet me,¡± the minister''s son exhaled.


    ¡°What did the note say?


    ¡°I know how to get the bomb off you.¡±


    My fingertips went numb and goose bumps ran up and down my arms. The man''s ice-blue eyes shone with such confidence that my heart skipped a beat or two with the hope that came over me.


    ¡°And you didn''t say anything all this time? Why didn''t you? Tell me how?¡± A part of my soul came alive with every word. Would I soon be free of the hateful chain that kept me on Grant''s leash?


    There was a knock on the living room door and a tall, big man I''d met at the Hole entered. He was the one who''d helped Dav to get the documents out of there during the raid.


    ¡°Sir, the car is ready, we can go now,¡± said he.


    I couldn''t really see the man who had come in from behind the armchairs and sofas lavishly arranged in the huge living room, but I didn''t have to look.


    I was instantly chilled, my heart pounding, and I finally realised why his voice sounded so familiar. The raucous laughter, the smell of chewing gum and the strong hands ripping off my clothes ¨C I will never forget the horror of the dark basement before I became Grant Circul''s birthday present.


    ¡°Thank you, Tibai. You may go. I''ll be down soon.¡±


    The door closed and I sat there in a daze, trying to comprehend what I had just discovered.


    ¡°This Tibai...¡± I lifted my eyes to Asanor in disbelief.


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    ¡°Yes, Siri, you got it right,¡± he exhaled, gathering his thoughts. And then he stunned me: ¡°I''m the one who put the bomb on you.¡±


    I jumped up, trying to catch my breath, but the shock made my body forget even the most elementary basics, and I swayed but steadied myself, not allowing Dav to help me.


    I sat down in the chair opposite him and looked at the glass reflecting the bright living room, Grant sleeping peacefully and me and the blonde guy looking at me with a mixture of sadness and remorse. Finally I could breathe again, prepared for any wild explanations.


    ¡°Why?¡± And my voice hardly wavered.


    ¡°Because of Abi...¡±


    Asanor''s expression was so sad that my heart would have ached with pity if I hadn''t been so angry with the president''s nephew.


    ¡°Your girlfriend?¡±


    The guy nodded. ¡°After her death, all I wanted to do was follow her. But at the last moment I was overcome by the thought of revenge....¡±


    ¡°And if you hadn''t fulfilled your last wish, you wouldn''t have been able to leave in peace and meet Abina in a new life?¡± I continued, now understanding his motives.


    Many believed that by dying after a loved one, one could be reborn almost simultaneously in the new world and meet their beloved soul again, have time to make up for what they could not do in the previous life, become happy and protect the most precious thing they had ¨C love.


    ¡°But why this long and dangerous plan with the bomb?¡± I frowned; I still couldn''t make sense of it.


    ¡°Do you believe in four lives?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± I too have always been fascinated by this ancient concept of rebirth.


    Every soul has been given a special gift, and if you use it properly, if you do not stray from the right path, if you do not do evil deeds, then at the end there is a reward ¨C eternal non-existence. Each rebirth has its own purpose. The first life is the time to cultivate the field, the second life is the time to sow. The third and fourth lives are the time to reap the fruit and the time to enjoy the works of your hands.


    But if you die in one life with regret in your heart, you simply cannot enter the next. That is why revenge for the pain caused in our world is a great thing, the future depends on it.


    ¡°My wish is to see Abi in the next life, only the thought of revenge keeps me going. My task is not yet complete, but I cannot kill a man with my own hands, because I will not be able to see Abina in the next world ¨C the gods won''t let me for such a terrible sin.¡±


    ¡°So you wanted revenge by someone else''s hand?¡±


    ¡°Yes, if your actions had triggered the bomb, it wouldn''t have been my direct fault.¡±


    Maybe. I grinned, trying to figure out what killing Grant would get me. On the one hand, it would give me revenge on the president and soothe my soul, but on the other hand, I could go to hell for the bloodshed and suffer the eternal torment of remorse, trying to atone for it. Whether I could be reborn in a new life would depend on the divine judgement. Only the gods decided such controversial matters.


    ¡°What if I was always there for Grant, keeping the bomb from waking up?¡±


    Dav had an answer ready. ¡°The distance between you would shrink by the second. Eventually, when there was only one step left, you would die. I, too, wanted to take from uncle Rizor the person he loved most, just as he had done to me.¡±


    ¡°Then why are you telling me now that you know how to remove the bomb?¡± Asanor''s honesty confused me. Usually villains are this sincere before they make their final move. Did he intend to destroy us immediately by opening his heart to me?


    The guy sighed and looked wistfully at the sky.


    ¡°I couldn''t resist the part of me that was still good. When I first saw you at home in your white dress, when you came into the living room, I thought for a moment that Abi had returned, that nothing had happened... I was ashamed of what I had done to you, you were innocent of Rizor''s sins. I imagined Abi in your place... What if someone had put this collar on her and bound her to another person against her will? The thought terrified me...¡±


    Dav swallowed, it was obvious that the confession was difficult for him.


    He shifted his gaze to me and exhaled softly, barely audible: ¡°I''m sorry, Siri. I don''t want you to die.¡±


    I covered my eyes with the palm of my hand to hide the tears. My emotions raged inside me and I couldn''t calm them down, couldn''t separate them, couldn''t understand what I was really feeling. The only thing I was sure of was gratitude.


    ¡°Thank you for your honesty.¡± That was all I could manage to say.


    ¡°I''m sorry, that''s all I can do for you.¡±


    I smiled. I was glad to have this talk with Dav. A lot of things were falling into place and now I didn''t have to worry about the ¡®garrotte¡¯ around my neck.


    ¡°You''d better calm down. I''m afraid what I''m about to say will shock you,¡± Asanor became more serious, his gaze darkening in a way that didn''t bode well for me.


    I obeyed, made myself comfortable in the chair and looked at my vis-a-vis with great anticipation.


    ¡°When Tibai and I invented the bomb, we used a combination of magic and technology to make it so that it couldn''t just be disarmed. To get rid of it, you have to detonate it.¡±


    My palms were sweating. Why was it so complicated?


    ¡°Have you ever heard of high altitude explosions?¡± asked he.


    I shook my head. I was far from being a scientist, and I''d never had a passion for violent means of killing. Explosives had always frightened me.


    ¡°Luckily you have air magic. Use the wind arrows. The bomb must be detonated more than ten kilometres above the ground.¡±


    I looked at Dav in disbelief. He wanted me to get rid of that scary thing around my neck all by myself? Yes, I must have been a football in a previous life to be kicked around like this.


    ¡°I can''t do this alone...¡± I''d never felt so confused and overwhelmed. It was as if I''d suddenly been given an exam by a higher power to show what I''d learned in my life, if it had any meaning at all, but the task was unexpected and too hard.


    ¡°You can do it,¡± he said, not even a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.


    I exhaled, trying to suppress my anger. It was easy for him. He''d made a mess, but I''d have to stew in it until I destroyed it.


    ¡°One last thing. The collar around your neck is fake. The real bomb is your tooth. Remember, first upper molar on the right.¡±


    ¡°What? You made a bomb out of my tooth?!¡±

 I was scared pt2

    ¡°What? You made a bomb out of my tooth?!¡±


    I didn''t even want to be surprised anymore. Everything inside me burned with worrying and resenting.


    ¡°Actually, the bomb isn''t really your tooth, it''s a magical filling. Again, I''m sorry, Siri, for what you''ve been through... and what you''re about to go through. You''ve only got ten seconds to pull the tooth out and get rid of it before it explodes.¡±


    I longed to hit Dav, to break his nose. I wanted him to feel my pain, my anger rising again, a fiery flame in my heart. I had long since given up my worthless life, long since sought death, but that didn''t mean that fate could mock me so cruelly.


    Dav Asanor, I understood your motives, your desire for revenge, but I could never forgive you. You may have ruined more than one life with your whims. I glanced at the pale young man sleeping peacefully on the sofa. Grant may have had a bad temper at times, but he did not deserve to die like this.


    But still... I understood his pain. I couldn''t help but sympathise. After my mother''s death, I also wanted to destroy everyone who had treated her badly in life, who had brought her to a sad end by their actions or words.


    My rage was a dark, murky wave in my already turbulent sea, rising, crashing over the rocks, drowning the last islands of calm and judgement. I remembered my mother''s tears, my mangled childhood, my hopeless life, the world that had been taken from me, Krile and Di, my old dream. The ashes of burnt out emotions flickered again.


    ¡°I have to go.¡± Dav left the chair and was halfway across the room before I snapped out of my quiet rage.


    I stood up as well. Turning to face him, I spoke with hatred for all those responsible for shutting down Virtul: ¡°I would have killed them all. I would have gone further and destroyed their souls.¡±


    Them ¨C who wished Abina dead. Grant told me why she killed herself. High society, the children of politicians and the powerful themselves despised the girl, simply because she didn''t have enough magic to match the aristocrats in status.


    I heard that Rizor, as head of the family, did not approve of Dav and Abina''s marriage. Many people supported his decision. And I pity people who forget one simple truth: our burial suits will have no pockets. They can''t carry wealth, magic or power. All we may be able to take with us into the next life are the sincere feelings that we have had for our loved ones.


    ¡°You don''t know what you''re talking about,¡± he said condescendingly. The sad, lifeless look in Dav''s eyes made me want to cry.


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    ¡°Giving up so easily?¡± My indignation was unparalleled. ¡°I''ll help you get your revenge.¡±


    ¡°And how?¡± There was no scepticism in his voice, but he didn''t sound hopeful either.


    ¡°Wait and see.¡±


    I mentally grinned. ¡®I will kill the president. I will avenge not only myself and my broken life, but also your pain. I promise, Dav...¡¯


    Asanor''s eyes twitched with silver magic.


    ¡°You have a tough future ahead of you, Siri,¡± he muttered back.


    ¡°Can you see the future?¡± I always wondered what gift the heavens had given him.


    ¡°Yes, everything except what concerns me personally. That''s why I couldn''t prevent Abi''s death.¡±


    ¡°It''s a terrible punishment.¡±


    The young man sneered, ¡°I suppose I''ve earned it. I''ve made some mistakes in my previous lives.¡±


    ¡°Don''t say that. It wasn''t you anyway.¡±


    ¡°I''d like to believe that. But it''s not our thoughts that define us, it''s our actions. The latter have led me to what I have become ¨C almost a murderer.¡±


    I smiled at him. ¡°But you didn''t become one.¡±


    ¡°Maybe things will change in the future.¡±


    ¡°I hope not.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Siri,¡± he gave me a sincere, tender look. Asanor was already pushing the door handle to leave.


    ¡°Dav, would you allow me to ask you a delicate question?¡± I blurted out on impulse.


    ¡°Ask,¡± the guy turned around, deciding to share a few more seconds of his time with me. He even had a slight smile of interest on his lips. It was obvious that our conversation had brought him the relief he''d been looking for.


    ¡°Why do you always have such a strong smell of pepper?¡±


    This time a smile actually lit up his face. ¡°I like your tactlessness, Siri. I hope being curious about the world around you will make your life less dreary.¡±


    Dav left without answering, leaving the living room lit by the golden glow in silence. The rain drummed on the windows, the drops slipping with the fleetingness of thought into the abyss at the bottom of which the city lights flickered. Circul opened his mouth in sleep, dark strands falling on his long lashes.


    I slid my finger discreetly across his forehead, brushing away his fringe. A tear rolled down my cheek and disappeared in his black hair. I froze, hoping my actions hadn''t disturbed his sleep.


    I let out a breath as the young man simply turned his face back to the back of the sofa. Adjusted the blanket to keep my eternal companion warmer.


    I sat down again on the carpet by the window and turned out the house lights. The hoop of the pseudo-bomb pressed against my neck, my shoulders ached ¨C I was used to the pain, the collar prevented me from even bowing my head in sadness.


    The wind outside longed for the cold of the northern mountains, and it echoed in my blood with a mournful song. Magic always failed me in rainy weather, dissolving in helplessness in my veins. Night was closing in on Lous, shrouding the silhouettes of the skyscrapers in a haze, confusing the direction of distant travellers and hiding the land from the stars.


    I started to cry. It was the first time I had ever been so scared. I wasn''t afraid of the bomb, or death, or defeat. I was very, very scared of the future. The emptiness of tomorrow was terrifying, and the knowledge that it would be inexorably filled by events to come only made me more desperate.


    And so I cried, head held high and back straight, looking up to the heavens with hatred and hope, until my tired mind wandered into the labyrinthine realm of dreams.

 49. Love in those eyes

    A week had passed since the memorable conversation with Dav. Until the president recovered, Grant and I stayed with Gisborne in the penthouse of the tallest building in the capital. And I spent every spare minute practising my magic.


    Circul Junior was surprised at my eagerness, but let me enjoy ¡®doing nothing¡¯ in the roof garden. He thought I was fooling around and meditating, perfecting my concentration with my face exposed to the fresh summer breeze while he read on the soft sofa.


    I was actually learning how to hide my emotions from Grant. The heart could be controlled and all it took was practice.


    Once I let go of my fear and thoughts of failure, I could breathe more freely. And the air magic was much easier to do with a calm soul and peace inside.


    I concentrated on my goal, to maximise my ability to create arrows from the wind. No one felt it, not even Circul Junior, who no longer looked around; he couldn''t hear the whistling of magic anymore, it was too fast for the human ear.


    ¡°Siri, can we please call it a day?¡± Grant pulled the plaid over my shoulders.


    ¡°No,¡± I got up to stretch my stiff muscles. Lanterns were already lit on the balustrade and a plane was flying in the dark sky. Was it that late?


    I breathed in the night air, which was even more malleable at this time of day, and it was a pleasure to alter it with magic. I conjured a pair of arrows, invisible to the eyes of others, and watched them sink into the clouds.


    ¡°You should get some rest,¡± he took my hand carefully and led me towards the glass door to the living room.


    ¡°I need to practise!¡± I released my palm and tried to take a few steps back, but my vision was distorted and I felt dizzy.


    He stopped me from falling, reached behind me and sat me down on the nearest wicker stool.


    ¡°You see? You can''t stand on your feet anymore,¡± Circul grumbled, wrapping me in the blanket to keep me warm. ¡°We''ll eat now and go to bed. Tomorrow we''ll go to my father.¡±


    I exhaled unhappily, pretending to stare at the red-leaved flowers. Rizor wanted Grant and me to move into the presidential quarters. Pity, I liked living with Gisborne. He didn''t bother us too much with his attentions.


    The guy led me to the house, his half hug was comforting and although he didn''t know what was going on inside me, his confidence gave me the strength to hold on and keep going.


    I looked at our hands with our bracelets, the chain dangling from them, dragging behind us. I wanted freedom for both of us, not just for myself. Circul had also suffered in recent weeks. Though he was still the son of my enemy, my hatred for him no longer burned like a blue flame, but simmered beneath a pile of confusing and incomprehensible feelings and emotions.


    ¡°Grant,¡± I turned to meet his gaze. Stars burned in his black eyes, reflected by the lights in the living room. ¡°Shall we go to the sea? I remember that was your dream.¡±


    I smiled, the guy, surprised by the offer, ruffled his hair with his free hand, looked at me and nodded, returning my smile with his own.


    To my great joy and amazement, Rizor let us go with a light heart, hoping that this week would only strengthen our relationship. And Circul Junior cherished his hopes too. I was alone, lost in my own confusion, in my own cage of conflicting emotions.


    Strangely, the president seemed to enjoy leaving me and Grant alone. Did he really want to keep the news of the fake engagement in the headlines for as long as possible?


    His son didn''t mind pretending to be in a real relationship. But I tried to avoid the subject of the recent kiss at all costs, even if it made me look ridiculous or funny in the eyes of others. And I tried not to think about the sincere speech of my companion in misfortune when I had allergies, because lately the butterflies under my heart had come to life and were keeping me awake at night and thinking clearly.


    But Grant''s natural magnetism was even harder to resist than my emotions, even though he''d recently stopped controlling me. He said he wanted to play by fair rules.


    Every time the guy''s actions or words made my heart beat faster, I would lock myself in the bathroom, cover myself with a blanket or close my eyes and swear to myself that I would never, under any circumstances, betray myself, that Krile would remain my first and only love until the day I died.


    But the more I tried to avoid him, the more the image of Circul came into my mind. All I could do was howl in frustration and despair as even my emotions gave up on me drop by drop.


    While I was thinking about my unfortunate fate, I missed all the preparations for the trip. Lately I''d suddenly realised that I didn''t need a big suitcase for life, just a change of clothes and a small amount of money. How many places had we moved to already and I still didn''t have a huge piece of luggage, and I wasn''t the least bit upset about it. I had a small rucksack next to me with a spare dress, underwear and a few bits and pieces.


    It turned out that for someone who had already chosen death, outward comforts, the opinions of others and favourite knick-knacks no longer meant anything. I smiled at my own discovery. It was much easier to live my last days with nothing.


    But I shook my head in disbelief as I looked at Circul¡¯s belongings. It didn''t seem like much, but the pile still made me feel uneasy when I realised that Grant wasn''t just being careful, he was hoarding like a starving mouse. From first aid kits to portable solar chargers, from twenty pairs of socks to two boxes of biscuits with flavours for every occasion.


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    ¡°You can''t really tell if they''re salty or sweet anyway,¡± I threw the packet of crackers a few times and listened to them break.


    ¡°It''s not for me,¡± the guy frowned and took the poor biscuits from me.


    ¡°And for whom?¡±


    ¡°I''m trying for you,¡± he said grumpily. ¡°You always take my food when you''re not full.¡±


    I snorted, but it wasn''t like that. It was just a couple of times I''d been so hungry that I''d eaten portions of Circul while he was distracted. In this world of consumerism, if you don''t consume fast, you''re out of business.


    ¡°Okay, let''s go,¡± the guy picked up his bags and walked out of the house.


    Lias, the head of the bodyguards, took the rest and carried it into the boot; he''d volunteered to guard us on the journey. I quickened my pace as Grant got into the car, the chain tightening.


    June was in full swing, bringing scents, sunshine and clear skies to the earth. We opened all the windows as soon as we got on the motorway, the wind playing with our hair, caressing our faces.


    I watched the sun dogs sparkle in the rear-view mirrors, squinting at the glare, but the smile stayed on my lips ¨C I hadn''t felt that wonderful feeling of the road in so long. I held out my hand, my palm cool, my fingertips tickling from the air currents.


    Grant put on his headphones, kicked off his trainers and laid his head on my lap. For the first few seconds I couldn''t say a word out of shock.


    ¡°Are you out of your mind?¡±


    ¡°Are you dissatisfied?¡± The guy raised an eyebrow and looked at me challengingly.


    My heart skipped a few beats before I changed the course of my thoughts.


    ¡°No,¡± I smiled in anticipation, placing my hand on the top of the young man''s head and stroking his hair.


    He closed his eyes, allowing me to do what I was doing, and I enjoyed running my fingers through the black strands, playing with them as much as the wind was. Circul almost purred with pleasure, the corners of his mouth quivering with a smile. I bit my lip, admiring the happiness on his face.


    ¡°Do you want one?¡± Grant opened his eyelashes, pulled out his earpiece and handed it to me.


    I nodded and bent down to have a miniature white object placed on my ear.


    The world was filled with music. The composition had just begun, a few notes starting the main melody, joined by stringed instruments in the background.


    Keyboard shimmers unsettled the listeners with their uneven overdubbing. But the main violin soothed and gave a tiny glimmer of hope. It was as if a ray of light pierced the stormy sky created by the black and white keys.


    The sea of notes all around stirred, on the verge of dissonance, but the subtle voice of the lead instrument calmed the anxiety. The chords again caressed the ear with their harmony, and the storm was replaced by silence, and then again the quiet smoothness was replaced by tense but appealing musical passages.


    This short piece was on repeat, I looked at the thin strip of horizon stretching over the hills, stroked Grant''s hair and listened, listened, lost in the elegiac sound.


    My fingers moved of their own accord from his hair down to his forehead, over the tip of his nose. I came to my senses, felt the warmth of soft lips. The young man suddenly opened his eyes and my heart leapt with fear.


    I jerked my hand away and tried to wipe the embarrassment from my face, but it didn''t work.


    ¡°It''s my turn,¡± I forced the guy up.


    We swapped places, Circul sitting in my seat, and I sighed blissfully as I lay in the back of the SUV, using the other guy''s legs as a pillow.


    Grant was looking down at me now, his dark gaze shining with mockery. I tried to relax, squirming, trying to find a comfortable position for my back. Yes, that was a much better ride.


    The cabin of the car seemed to be a world of its own, with only the barely audible roar of the engine and the shadowy silhouettes of trees flying by at high speed as reminders of movement.


    The president''s son reached for the water bottle and I watched in fascination as he opened the cap and took a few sips.


    A clear drop dripped from his lips to the tip of his chin, ran down his neck, slowed and then accelerated along his pale skin. It left a wet trail and disappeared behind the collar of his shirt. Blood rushed to my face, my heart pounding somewhere near my throat, deafening. And I realised that if I didn''t do something to distract myself, I was going to go mad!


    I got up, threw off the earpiece, snatched the bottle from Grant, and drank the rest of the water in one gulp. But quenching my thirst didn''t clear my mind, and then, without explanation, I simply climbed into the passenger seat, closer to Lias and away from Circul, who was nullifying all my emotional attitudes.


    I fastened my seatbelt and leaned out of the window, answering no questions; the cold air cooled my cheeks, washed away the colour of embarrassment, but it couldn''t extinguish the fire within. The flames crackled with the dry branches of the barriers I had so long erected in my soul, the heavens trembled, the solid itself rattled with the mixed storm of emotions, thoughts and images from my imagination, and butterflies fluttered above the blue and scarlet flames.


    I clenched my teeth, wrapped my arms around myself and stared at the serpentine road, almost out of breath, trying to clear my head.


    We reached the coast and stopped at the top of a hill to watch the sunset. The waves were crashing below, and the wide strip of beach stretched into the dark forest.


    A few hundred paces away, the roof of the hut peeked out from behind the trees, the walls almost non-existent, replaced by huge floor-to-ceiling windows. It was a tiny refuge from the cares of the world, almost exactly as I had imagined it, just as Grant had described it.


    The first stars had already appeared in the sky, accompanying the scarlet sun over the horizon, and in the distance the light of the lighthouse flashed on the rocks. I breathed in the sea air with rapture, the magic awakening and coursing through my blood, it was even more glad of the coastal breeze than I was.


    ¡°I''ll be here in exactly one week,¡± Lias closed the boot, all our luggage lying on the grass. The bodyguard nodded goodbye and started the engine.


    ¡°And he just leaves? Without even checking the house?¡± I turned to Cirkul, who had been staring at the sea.


    ¡°It''s a closed land, no one has access to it. Even Lias can''t get in. We''re the only ones with permission.¡±


    ¡°Oblivion magic?¡± I asked understandingly.


    Grant nodded. We watched the taillights fade into the distance. Only the sound of the surf and the chirping of grasshoppers in the thicket separated us from the silence. It was getting dark.


    My companion released a flaming firefly from his palm, picked up some of the bags and stepped onto the barely visible path.


    I stared at the guy''s back with a little apprehension. The idea of going to the sea didn''t seem so reasonable anymore. No one here would stop me from carrying out my plan to get rid of the bomb. In a way, that was good.


    And on the other hand... for many metres there was no one else around but Circul and me. If, for example, the president''s son were to kill me, he could easily hide my cold corpse, just bury it in a sand dune.


    ¡°Are you going?¡± came from the darkness.


    I shuddered and pushed the delirious thoughts away. The chain tightened so I hurried to grab my bags and catch up with Grant. As much as I feared my feelings for him, I felt safer with him.


    And I would have given anything to have felt the peace in my heart when I was with Circul, when I looked at him and caught the deep, penetrating gaze of his black eyes in return. Only a fool wouldn''t read love in those eyes.

 50. Farewell

    I''ve decided to live this week as the happiest week in the history of mankind.


    The two robots cooked and cleaned, anticipating our every need, so even the dreaded washing up did not spoil our holiday. Grant and I ran around the beach and forest for days on end like carefree little kids, and in the evenings we built fires, roasted marshmallows on sticks, and listened to the wind rustle through the leaves and the soft whisper of the surf.


    I tried desperately to feel and savour every moment, knowing that the slightest slip in removing the bomb would be the end of me. I wasn''t afraid of making a mistake, I just didn''t want Grant to die. So I thought my plan through to the last detail, going over it again and again in my head, trying to find the pitfalls.


    The Circul sighed and tossed aside the branch on which he had been roasting pieces of marinated meat; we had eaten to our hearts content and were now recovering from an overly heavy dinner.


    ¡°Why are you so disgruntled?¡± I grinned against my will.


    I wanted to piss off the guy who had been teasing me all day, laughing at me for being afraid of dolphins and mistaking them for sharks. Only the dorsal fins were visible from a distance, and was there time to look closely? I screamed wildly and rushed ashore, dragging the young man face down to the bottom because he''d tripped on the chain and couldn''t get out until I came to my senses and helped him.


    Sharks have always frightened me. As a child, left alone at home, I once watched a horror film about these predators. Since then, fish with huge jaws have made me shudder.


    ¡°Your dream has come true. We''re by the sea. There are shells to collect,¡± I chuckled.


    Circul gave me a fierce glare. It had been too long since we''d fought, and Grant hadn''t used much magic, so sparks flew through his black hair.


    ¡°I''m sorry,¡± I held up my hands and crawled as far away as I could, ¡°I won''t piss you off again.¡±


    The guy exhaled, relaxed. He put his glowing hand into the fire, and a few heartbeats later, flames leapt over it. The red-orange petals danced on his pale skin without scorching it.


    I watched with excitement as the flames shimmered on Grant''s palms.


    ¡°If I may?¡± I was surprised at my own recklessness.


    The guy looked at me in disbelief, but threw a blob of his magic anyway. I caught the hot ball with a quiver in my heart, and it melted on my fingers with a pleasant warmth that felt as if I''d dipped my hands in liquid honey.


    The magic enveloped my wrist, flickered, tickling the sensitive skin, and dripped down to the base of my ring finger where it solidified into a ring.


    ¡°What''s that?¡±


    ¡°A gift,¡± Circul smiled menacingly, with a ¡®if you don''t accept it willingly, it''ll be worse for you¡¯ look.


    A faint glow emanated from the thin ring, and a flame seemed to be smoldering inside the jewellery.


    ¡°Thank you. Is it something special?¡±


    ¡°No, just a magical trinket.¡±


    ¡°And why did you give it to me?¡±


    Grant shrugged his shoulders. ¡°Don''t know, I just wanted to. I had to use the magic somewhere anyway.¡±


    I smirked. So he wasn''t being romantic, he just needed to release some tension?


    ¡°Legally, do I have to get you something too?¡± I bit my lip; I didn''t want to waste my magic. I needed it tonight.


    Grant lay down on the sand and put his hands under his head.


    ¡°If you answer my question, I''ll make it count,¡± the guy didn''t even look at me as he spoke.


    I squinted, sensing that the answer wasn''t going to be easy. He was staring up at the sky, his black eyes reflecting the stars that twinkled in abundance in the darkness.


    ¡°What''s your name?¡± the guy asked without waiting for me to think.


    I tensed up, not wanting to share the one precious thing I had left in my life ¨C my name.


    ¡°Why don''t you ask another question?¡±


    My chain mate smiled bitterly and shifted his gaze to me. ¡°But still, Siri, what''s your real name?¡±


    ¡°I won''t tell,¡± I stood up abruptly and turned my back on Grant, facing the darkness with the sea splashing in.


    ¡°Why?¡± he asked quietly.


    I remained silent, letting the hush envelop the world with pleasure. I felt I would betray myself if I told. Not many people knew my real name: a few friends, a few acquaintances, my father and the president. My whole life was in Virtul, in the game I had a pseudonym, so I rarely heard my name from the lips of others.


    They said it used to be bad form for people to call each other by their birth names. I was still not used to the word my parents had given me.


    ¡°So why did you decide to call yourself Siri?¡±


    I sighed, Grant wasn''t backing down. Okay. I smiled, that was a truth I could tell. I turned and sat down right in front of the guy, craning my neck. ¡°You see it? What does it say?¡±


    ¡°Siri-22,¡± the young man read, running his finger over the rough surface of the collar.


    I bared my teeth in a grin. ¡°Isn''t that funny?¡±


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    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Siri has lots of subtle, metaphorical and contradictory meanings. But I¡¯m not at liberty to discuss any of them. Sorry.¡±


    Grant hovered, not getting my joke.


    ¡°All right,¡± I felt sad for some reason. I would have liked to extend the evening indefinitely, but curiosity and an unhealthy desire to experiment, coupled with the possible fatal consequences, were getting the better of me. ¡°Shall we go to bed?¡±


    ¡°Last question. What is your dream? Other than death...¡±


    I closed my eyes for a moment, suppressing the urge to bathe my vis-¨¤-vis in sand. Why did he have to be so clueless today? I''d been pushing him towards home for a long time.


    ¡°Lots and lots of money,¡± I breathed out as I stood up.


    ¡°What will you do when you have lots and lots of money?¡±


    I could see that Circul was trying to get me to talk to him, to have a heart-to-heart, as he had been doing so often lately, but I had to work hard to hide the mad gleam in my eyes and the trembling of my fingers with impatience and fear. So I responded with ridiculous jokes, hoping that the irony in them would scare Grant away. ¡°Do something crazy. I''ll draw a rabbit, start a blog and take pictures of it against the backdrop of places of interest on my travels around the world.¡±


    The president''s son raised his eyebrows in surprise, and as he slowly realised what I was saying, I put out the fire, took the young man by the arm and hurried to the house. The breeze played with our hair, glad of the sea, and the night was clear, so the magic flowed obediently through my blood, waiting for its time.


    I exhaled nervously, my heart pounding in my ears. I was afraid that my emotions would soon get out of control and Grant would suspect something was wrong and interfere with my crazy plan.


    Once the robots were satisfied that we were in bed, they went into the next room to recharge. And after about five minutes of turning around, Circul quietly drifted off to sleep.


    I carefully got out of the embrace of the guy who had recently made a habit of falling asleep with me in his arms. I removed the chain bracelet from my wrist and slipped into the bathroom, where I had already prepared a box of medical instruments.


    I took two painkillers at once and brushed my teeth several times while I waited for them to take effect. My fingers trembled as I unscrewed the cap of the alcohol solution to rinse out my mouth.


    I''ve always hated hospitals and everything associated with them. I looked in disgust at the tools Dav had handed me, along with instructions on how to remove my poor, innocent tooth.


    ¡®The first upper molar on the right is the sixth tooth from the top. Put some sterile gauze on it first, then loosen it and try to pull it out of the alveolar socket. And don''t be in a hurry. If you rush in and pull too hard, you may leave the roots behind and you''ll be in even more pain. Remember, you only have ten seconds...¡¯ I read it for the thousandth time.


    Ten seconds. In a few heartbeats I had to run away from Grant with a bomb torn from my gums, launch it into the sky and admire the epic explosion.


    I opened my mouth wide and tried to lift my head as high as I could to see the reflection in the mirror. The filling on the sixth tooth on the right side of my mouth was blue.


    I stared at it hatefully for a few seconds, this bomb had ruined the last weeks of my life. I cursed the blue-eyed Asanor who''d come up with this crazy invention. I wish he''d get sick of my curses.


    The tooth extraction pliers glinted dangerously in the light of the lamp, and with a heavy heart I took them and turned them in my hand, getting used to them.


    Right, I''d almost forgotten. I looked out the bathroom door and Circul was still sleeping peacefully, unaware of what was going on under his nose. I whispered a spell and a cloud of silence enveloped the bedroom.


    I took one last look at myself in the mirror, bidding farewell to my worthless life, then applied the gauze and grabbed the pliers with desperate determination. It seemed that if I hesitated even a second longer, I would never be able to rid myself of this deadly mockery of fate.


    The tooth reluctantly gave way, and despite the painkiller, my jaw seized in a flash of pain and blood rushed into my mouth, but there was no time to stop it.


    I picked up the most dangerous thing for many dozens of kilometres around, ran out of the house, put it on the tip of the air, attached it with magic and shot an arrow of wind into the sky. It was not for nothing that I had spent so much time training to create this spell. A few thousand a day, until I was exhausted, to increase the speed to the maximum.


    A bright flash, like a thousand suns, illuminated everything around, and an eerie yet beautiful dark cloud was born.


    With tears in my eyes, I stared at the cooling cloud ring, unable to believe it was over.


    The shockwave raised the waves in the sea slightly, and the wind whipped my hair and clothes a little harder. I breathed a sigh of relief ¨C it meant the arrow had carried the tooth a considerable distance from the ground. And I hoped that no birds or aeroplanes were flying by at the time, I didn''t want to cause a catastrophe.


    I spat out the blood and sank to the porch steps, losing all my strength in an instant. The collar shrank a little, beeping softly. Yes, it still had to be unlocked. Dav had promised he''d do it soon.


    I got up wearily and staggered to the bed. Threw off the cover of silence, fell onto the sheets and crawled over to Circul to warm myself. The young man''s hair smelled of mint and sea salt.


    I smiled at the edge of reality and the realm of Morpheus, realising with simultaneous joy and sadness that our paths would soon part and I would never again hear his deep breathing and hearty laugh as he slept.


    The next morning we received a call from the president. He was pleased to tell us that the lab had finally found a way to remove the collar bomb from me.


    A few hours later, Lias was driving us into the capital. Grant was smiling with anticipation, tapping his right hand on his knee, and I was looking at the world with apathy, my emotions exhausted the night before.


    ¡°A-a-gra-a!¡± Tibai made a clever face as he removed the ¡®deception spells¡¯ from my collar. The man squinted, leaned over me and winked, the corner of his lips twitching in a discreet smile. ¡°Just a little left.¡±


    Dav had surprisingly arranged for us to meet his henchman, who was now engaged in the important and dangerous task of removing a bomb from my neck that no longer existed.


    The president watched the pseudo-lab assistant''s every move with nervous eyes, sometimes even clutching the arms of the chair he was sitting in. Grant stood beside me, holding my palm in his hands, supporting and reassuring me.


    ¡°Now, keep her still,¡± Asanor''s aide said to Circul Junior. ¡°She must not move.¡±


    I was about to ask why it was so important when Tibai pulled out a small circular saw with tiny teeth and switched it on. I jerked back, horrified to hear the tool whirring.


    ¡°The collar can''t be magically removed,¡± the man said, as if to apologise.


    I nearly howled as the saw came close to my head. Grant tried his best to hold me back, but as soon as I smelled the scent of metal from the teeth running across the surface of my collar, I screamed and prayed that I''d either be killed or left alone. The idea of wearing a collar for the rest of my life didn''t seem so crazy anymore.


    ¡°Maybe we should put her to sleep,¡± Rizor suggested.


    My opinion was not asked, the president''s son simply brushed his fingers across my forehead, a warm palm covering my eyes.


    The next time I woke up, I felt the draft on my skin. The moment the garrotte was removed from my neck was the happiest moment of my life. I ran excitedly to the mirror to make sure the nightmare was over. It was so unusual to be without the heavy weight around my neck. It felt so light.


    I nodded, stretching my stiff muscles.


    ¡°What?¡± I looked indignantly at the laughing Circul in the mirror. ¡°You have no idea how horrible it was to sleep with that thing under my head!¡±


    The young man opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted.


    ¡°Would you like to keep it as a souvenir?¡± Tibai asked with a predatory grin, holding up the sawed-off collar.


    I shuddered, while Grant grinned.


    ¡°Just destroy it,¡± said the president as he left the lab.


    I nodded in agreement and followed the head of the country, removing the chain and bracelet on the way. What an incredible pleasure it was to be free. Now I could go anywhere without looking back at Circul Junior and trying to keep up with his pace.


    I got into the car with a smile on my face. The sun, the sky, the birds, all nature and all living things were singing of freedom.


    Farewell, bomb, I hope the nightmare of you never again disturbs the last days of my existence.

 51. Youll see, things will change soon enough

    ¡°Siri, I want to talk to you. Have a seat.¡±


    I looked cautiously at the country''s leader, who seemed too kind and hospitable in the light of the setting sun. The president''s office had never been a good place for me, so I tried to stay out of it.


    And as I gazed at the window from which I had once jumped, almost causing a bloody reaping, unpleasant memories arose from the depths of my memory. An eerie sense of impending disaster overcame my heart and it began to beat irregularly.


    It hadn''t even been an hour since I''d gained my freedom, but I wished Grant had been there to mentally shield me from my own emotions. The young man remained outside the door, winding the chain from palm to palm.


    I got over the uneasiness that had arisen when the secretary left the tray of tea and walked away, sighed heavily and sat down in the chair offered.


    The scent of lime and ginger root made my head spin and steam blew over my face. I wrinkled my nose because the hot drink made me uncomfortable. The wound on my gum was still raw from the reckless way in which I''d dealt with my tooth.


    Circul himself was in no hurry to join the tea party at the table, nor to strike up a conversation.


    I''d already got myself worked up, imagining ten ways the conversation could go, ranging from a stern or rude ¡®get out of my sight now that you''re not wearing a bomb¡¯ to a villainous laugh of ¡®did you think I''d be sane enough to sign a contract for my death? Naive...¡¯


    ¡°I would like you to stay with Grant,¡± said the president.


    I placed the cup and saucer on the table and turned to face the president''s back. Rizor was still looking at the horizon, hidden behind a forest of skyscrapers, his hands in his pockets.


    I couldn''t even see his face, just his straight posture, his shoulders held up proudly. And how could I tell if he was joking or not? His voice was colourless, as if all life and strength had been drained from it.


    ¡°What for?¡± asked I calmly.


    ¡°He''s changed. You''re a good influence on him. His heart goes out to you.¡±


    What? Grant has become a better man? What kind of monster was he before? Or was it just all the negative energy he dumped on me?


    He would grumble, rant, bullshitted, use up the day''s supply of nastiness on me, and then turn into an innocent dandelion in front of his father?


    So what if it is his heart that goes out to me? Why would the president tell me that?


    ¡°But I don''t like your son. I don''t want to be in the same universe as him,¡± I exhaled as I got over my surprise. Was Rizor Circul playing another game and testing me again? There was no other explanation. ¡°And anyway, what makes you think he likes me?¡±


    ¡°I know my son better than anyone,¡± the man chuckled at his thoughts and added with a sneer, ¡°Have you ever heard the saying that there are only three things in the world you can''t hide: coughing, poverty and love?¡±


    Yes, and madness too... How could a man in his right mind offer such madness to his sworn enemy? Did he want me to keep an eye on his beloved son?


    ¡°What happened to ¡®I''ll let you kill me in three months¡¯?¡±


    Was that how he intended to get out of the contract? Trade his life for Grant''s?


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    Surprise evaporated, anger rose from the foggy depths of my emotions and rushed through my veins.


    Rizor turned and burned me with a dark stare. ¡°Our agreement stands, unless you''ve changed your mind.¡±


    ¡°I haven''t changed my mind.¡±


    I froze, and for a few seconds the room fell into a vortex of ringing silence. We stared intently into each other''s eyes, trying to read each other, to show our superiority, to detect the other''s weakness.


    ¡°And you''re ready to give your son to a girl who''ll be your killer?¡± I smiled sceptically. What kind of father would do such a thing?


    ¡°You care about him too, even though you say you don''t. Or am I wrong?¡± The president was studying me intently.


    For a moment... just a moment, I imagined myself standing next to Grant. What if I didn''t know who his father was? What if he wasn''t the son of Rizor Circul? What if I had met Grant before giving my heart to a nonexistent technomagic algorithm called Krile? Would I have been able to give up death? Would I have been able to find life with a living person?


    The answer did not come.


    ¡°I don''t know. But either way, I''m not going to fulfil your wish. I won''t be his friend, his girlfriend... his fianc¨¦e or his wife.¡±


    ¡°Why is that?¡± Sparks of amusement flashed in Circul''s black eyes. Was he laughing at me, mocking my youth and my shortsightedness?


    Slowly, giving myself time to think, I savoured the herbal tea, realising more and more with each sip that the ¡®I just don''t want to¡¯ argument would not satisfy the president.


    ¡°I thought you didn''t like me and were trying to avoid me in every way possible.¡± The cup clattered against the saucer as I decided to put down the treat and go on the attack.


    The president sat back in his chair, put his fingers together and said with a smirk of superiority, ¡°I''m not going to ruin the happiness of my son if he chooses you. Let''s just say I won''t mind if you stay with him. You''re already engaged, even if it''s a fake engagement.¡±


    ¡°It was just a story for the news, a distraction. Soon the engagement will be forgotten. Don''t you think the lie will be exposed if we keep playing?¡±


    ¡°In people''s eyes, you are already connected, almost married. Any lie can be turned into truth if necessary.¡±


    I had a bitter taste in my mouth, and not just from the tea. I felt unbearably sorry for my country, whose leader openly said such things. How many innocent people had suffered under his rule? How much truth was hidden behind a veil of lies. It was no wonder that justice and loyalty were not honoured by politicians.


    Poor Grant, I remembered his smiling face when he''d talked to me about sincerity and honesty. His father was the embodiment of everything he hated. Although it was unlikely that Rizor would show his true nature to his son.


    It was disgusting to be around him.


    ¡°And I certainly couldn''t get on with a father-in-law like that.¡±


    ¡°You''re going to kill me soon anyway, so you''ll be rid of that problem,¡± he grinned ironically.


    Our conversation became more and more absurd. I got up and wanted to leave the office as soon as possible.


    Talking to the president always broke my psyche. His proposals, his actions, his words ¨C I couldn''t predict them. First a murderous contract, and now this. Did he really want to marry us?


    ¡°You won''t leave until I let you,¡± he said harshly. The wall shimmered and Oblivion magic enveloped the door.


    I turned and stared at the horrible man. I clenched my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms. ¡®Now you''ve decided to intimidate me with your dark power, Your Presidential Majesty?¡¯


    Circul waited indifferently for me to calm down and return to my seat. Suddenly I had the salutary and pleasant thought that I had nothing to lose. I had long since declared myself suicidal, and I didn''t need to fear the president; he would soon die at my hands anyway.


    I exhaled, easily extinguishing my anger. I walked to the far corner of the office, sat down on the floor, cleared my throat, looked defiantly into the eyes of the country''s leader and shouted, ¡°Ribbit-ribbit! Meow-meow? Woof-woof! Oink-oink-o-oink, neigh-neigh¡­¡±


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I assumed you didn''t understand human speech. Bleat-bleat. Maybe you can understand it that way. Hee-haw!!¡± I yelled like a real donkey.


    Yes, I had a lot of nerve, and for a moment I thought he was going to burn me to a crisp and leave me without even an echo of my soul.


    But the president just wrinkled his nose, waved his hand to undo the magic, and exhaled in surrender: ¡°Go. We''ll talk when your priorities change.¡±


    I stood up, walked to the door with a triumphant look on my face and, having already touched the handle, turned to say the last word. ¡°And yet I''m no match for your son. We''re from different worlds, different walks of life.¡±


    ¡°Is that what''s holding you back? Social inequality?¡± A contemptuous sneer curled the corners of the president''s mouth.


    ¡°I don''t want people pointing fingers and whispering behind our backs about a m¨¦salliance.¡±


    The grin was still on his face as he said smugly, ¡°Siri, you''re still so naive... Public opinion is one of the most malleable things. You''ll see, things will change soon enough.¡±

 52. They say that music reduces pain

    ¡°Where are we going?¡±


    ¡°You''ll see,¡± Grant didn''t turn to look at me, but I could hear the impatience and enthusiasm in his voice. The young man was either too frightened or too excited, so the magic of emotion flowed freely and warmly around all living things, giving them barely perceptible but pleasant rays of a special, enchantingly good-natured mood.


    ¡°And yet... why are we walking all this way? I''m sleepy,¡± I yawned, confirming the truth of my words.


    Dealing with the bomb last night, the long journey back to Lous, the collar, then the discouraging conversation with the president ¨C the last twenty-four hours have been hard on me.


    The euphoria of release from the bomb had dissipated, and there was now an emptiness in the vast part of my soul reserved for the worries of the killing garrotte.


    I just wanted to wrap myself in a blanket, hide from the world under my pillow and slowly get used to my new circumstances. Now I was no longer bound by a chain or the presence of the president''s son, and I could enjoy my solitude, appreciating every beat of my heart.


    But why did I follow Circul Junior to the outskirts of the capital instead?


    I looked at the young man, a slight smile on his lips and so much serenity in his eyes... How could I resist? I was simply pushed into the car as I left the president''s office, no one asked my opinion.


    ¡°We''ve arrived.¡±


    Deep in thought, I only now noticed the glow of a thousand lights in the sky. Like the northern lights of Virtul, the stadium''s multi-coloured floodlights painted the sky above our heads, outshining the twinkling stars. I let go of Grant''s hand and stopped in silent amazement at the nearest banner with my favourite band on it.


    My fingers trembled, my insides tingled with the sudden realisation. Was I really about to see my idols? Legends I never thought I''d see in person?


    ¡°Grant, you...¡± My voice dropped to a whisper. ¡°Did you...¡±


    Remember? I only mentioned once in passing that one of my dying wishes was to go to a concert by a foreign musical group, which I had no hope of fulfilling ¨C it was too much trouble and too expensive.


    ¡°Yes, I remember,¡± he smiled broadly and pulled two tickets out of his pocket. ¡°I just found out today that they''re doing a concert in Lous, so the seats aren''t the best...¡± he blurted out, unhappy with himself.


    I grinned, it was a pleasure to look at Grant like that. What had happened to him lately? From giving me flame rings to taking me to my dream concert? Where was the nagging, grumpy guy who had been tormenting me for the last month?


    ¡°Come on, it''s already started,¡± he just took me by the hand and dragged me to the entrance.


    The crowd roared to greet their musical idols, the beat and the power of the voices were deafening, the sea of people drew in, the lights of the lightsticks flickered, creating incredible constellations in the stands. Magic, passion and love for music, anticipation ¨C everything was mixed up when the notes of the opening melody began to play.


    They say that music reduces pain.


    It does.


    The first lines of the song made me forget everything in the world. My ears, my thoughts and my heart were all in one rhythm, the lyrics seemed too bold, they made me smile. This song accelerated the blood in my veins; it was like that from the beginning when I got to know the world of music.


    When I was alone after losing my mother, it was music that came to my rescue. At the time, I couldn''t register on Virtul because I was too young ¨C the age limit for virtual games was fourteen. So in primary and secondary school I existed only through headphones.


    ? This will be my life.


    And this will be my death.


    This is the sound and pulse of my destiny ?


    With the last line of the opening song, the stage erupted in fireworks and the crowd cheered, welcoming what promised to be one of the best nights in recent memory.


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    Despite the civil war, the closure of Virtul and a series of less disturbing news, the country lived, developed and wanted to have fun. Nothing could disrupt the flow of the music industry, which was sometimes the only thing that could unite the worst of enemies, lighten the yoke of the stress-ridden modern man and bring colour into the dull everyday life.


    The digital sets changed and a rapper came on stage, reading his lines to the chords of the keyboards.


    ? I don''t have a dream.


    Sometimes it''s scary to dream,


    I just don''t think it''s easy to live the dream,


    Surviving is my little dream,


    But does it count as a dream? ?


    I smiled sadly. This song used to be my credo. I used to survive, floating day by day on the river of time, abandoned by everyone, deserted by my mother and forgotten by my father. It used to be my aspiration ¨C to survive. Now, ironically, the dream was reversed. ¡®To leave this world as soon as possible is my greatest and most important goal.¡¯


    I closed my eyes, lost in the moment, savouring every note, every twist of the melody, my favourite voices touching the most stale parts of my soul.


    ? Now I''m reassuring myself,


    Saying there''s no such thing as a perfect world.


    I''m emptying myself one step at a time.


    And yet I want to be me today forever ?


    All those songs... they were all about me, about my problems and experiences, first as a child, then as a teenager and now. They understood me, they accepted me for who I was. They made me grow up and try to survive, they made me laugh and feel sad, they inspired me to do heroic deeds and put me to sleep at night.


    And although I didn''t know much of the imperial language, I knew every line by heart, the translation of every song. I could feel the emotions of the singers in my heart, they spoke to me through the music: from the time when I was a little girl, lonely as a fish in an empty ocean, to now, when there was a person with whom my soul wanted to sing in unison.


    ? You are like a butterfly,


    I watch you from afar


    Afraid that if I touch you, I''ll lose you ?


    ¡°I love that song,¡± Grant said for the first time since the concert began.


    I turned around. Circul was standing just behind me, seemingly unconcerned with the scene. He caught the emotions of those around him, absorbing them like dry earth softened by the first rain. His gaze, his very presence, was intoxicating, mingling with the kaleidoscope of my favourite melodies and words.


    ¡°And why?¡± I couldn''t contain my curiosity, his previous sentence sounded meaningful.


    He smiled warmly at me, tenderness hiding in the depths of his black eyes.


    ¡°The message,¡± Grant held out his hand but didn''t touch me, ¡°is that dreams and life itself, any relationship, is like a butterfly. If you touch it too hard, the wings break and the pollen falls out.¡±


    Too happy, driven by euphoria, I moved towards him, allowing him to place his palms on my shoulders. ¡°That''s true.¡±


    The guilt of betraying my own attitudes faded into the background, I felt good now. I didn''t want to worry about our relationship.


    For the evening I promised myself to forget, to banish thoughts of revenge, of the wrongness of our relations, of the future.


    But the rational part of me wanted to stop, screamed, not to go beyond the wall of defence, not to give in to the momentary desire to be needed, wanted, to be myself. The song reflected my feelings, told of the dilemma.


    ? There''s too much emotion in me,


    And I don''t know if I want to live or die.


    I just pretend I don''t care.


    It''s not the first time I''ve faked it,


    I''m used to it.


    I try to hide my feelings, but I can''t ?


    My heart was dying in silence as I listened to the voice of the singer. It was so lifelike that it brought tears to my eyes. I closed my lids and dissolved into Grant''s arms, trying to disappear into his touch so that I wouldn''t have to fight my own feelings and mind again.


    If only I could give up revenge, give up killing, if only I could forget my prejudices, respond to Circul''s sincerity, run away with him...


    Could I live like that?


    ? I grew a flower that can¡¯t be bloomed in a dream that can¡¯t come true ?


    But the cockroaches in my head, my stubbornness, the resentment and anger, the rage that came when I thought of Krile''s blue laughing eyes and my ever-smiling little Di ¨C all these feelings devastated me and made me forget about humanity and the next life. I must have been badly brought up to demand punishment for the enemy here and now. My soul must have rotted long ago, for my heart no longer trembled at the thought of killing.


    ? Where there is hope, there is always despair ?


    Yes, despair had consumed me, and my hopes were not to be fulfilled. I had already passed the point of no return when I signed that damned contract for the president''s life.


    ? I want to say I love you


    Singing alone a song that is sung in turns


    I go back through the same sheet music ?


    I condemned myself to loneliness a long time ago.


    ? This sea is too deep


    Still, I¡¯m relieved that


    Because even if I cry, no one will know


    I''m a whalien ?


    I have long since condemned myself to oblivion.


    ? Lonely, lonely, lonely whale


    Singing alone like this


    The ''me'' who is like an isolated island,


    Could shine brightly too?


    Lonely, lonely, lonely whale


    Try singing alone like this once again


    Until this song without an answer


    Reaches tomorrow ?


    But as long as there''s a tomorrow, I''m still alive.


    ¡Á ¡Á Death¡¯s desire ¡Á ¡Á


    P.S. Siri''s favourite song:


    In the heart of the ocean


    A whale sang softly and alone.


    No matter how much he screamed,


    His words were not heard.


    His loneliness grew so great that he fell silent.


    Whatever happens now, I don''t care.


    There is nothing left but loneliness,


    I became alone, the lock of loneliness clicked.


    Even if there''s no one left with me, I''m fine.


    These words, so easy to say, soon became my wall.


    In the eyes of people, even loneliness seems like a pretence, not a plea.

 53. Im sorry

    ¡°Grant,¡± I tugged at his shoulder, pointing out the window with my other hand.


    The young man snapped out of his thoughts and glanced outside, a slight smile forming on his lips.


    ¡°Stop here,¡± he asked the driver.


    Lias, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, immediately turned around, frowning.


    ¡°We won''t be long,¡± Circul Jr. assured him, slamming the car door behind me.


    ¡°Why can''t they just sit still?¡± grumbled the bodyguard as he got out of the car.


    I exhaled happily as I looked at the giant clown''s head with people passing through its mouth. The entrance to the amusement park had frightened me since I was a child, when my mother and I used to spend a day at the weekend on the rides. To enter the world of childhood dreams and fun, you had to get past the three-metre mouth of the monster, which is the only way to describe that overgrown clown''s face. The worst part was getting past the teeth that hung over your head. It looked like they were about to come loose and fall off, leaving you with birds with stars and a big bump, just like in the old cartoons.


    My mum, who knew I was scared, used to tell me not to worry because the clown had a special team who brushed his teeth twice a day so they were healthy and free of cavities, so they wouldn''t fall out.


    I smiled, gazing nostalgically at one of the capital''s most famous faces ¨C the calling card of its main amusement park. Nothing could dispel sadness, longing and melancholy like the aroma of caramelised popcorn and the scent of burnt sugar from the cotton candy cart.


    ¡°Come on,¡± I dragged the guys towards the ticket office.


    Grant had no cash on him and had forgotten the ring with the bank account on it, so it was up to poor Lias to pay for us, who couldn''t resist our pleading looks.


    ¡°We''ll be here for two hours, no more,¡± the guard warned, eager to hand us over to the president and get some rest.


    I felt a bit sorry for him, he''d already spent the whole day with us, first picking us up from the seaside cottage, then taking us to the lab where I''d had the bomb removed, then to the music stadium, and now we were pestering him with our rides.


    But at the same time, the little egoist in me was in full bloom and fragrant, my neck was not under pressure, the concert of my favourite band was a success ¨C the day had been a wonderful one today, so there was no desire to end the evening too soon.


    On summer nights the parks worked round the clock. Yes, they knew how to have fun in the capital. More than ever, I wanted to feel freedom at my fingertips, to forget myself in the squeal and speed, the adrenaline rush and the delayed goose bumps.


    ¡°I haven''t been here in about ten years,¡± Grant looked around for familiar landmarks.


    ¡°Me too. Where shall we go?¡±


    I glanced at Circul, who suddenly froze, the wind ruffling his dark hair, which still smelled of sea breeze and salt. The young man''s eyes were bright with joy.


    We stopped right in front of the sign for the most dangerous attraction. Ahead of us was a strip of track on which the carriages were travelling at an insane speed. The cries of euphoria and screams of terror were deafening.


    ¡°Last time I wasn''t the right size, I was too short. But I''ve always wanted to go for a ride,¡± my companion grinned. ¡°And you?¡± he gave me the look of a man who''d decided to do something crazy.


    ¡°I was small, too.¡±


    Without further ado, we walked towards the high roller coaster, with each step an unnatural joy rising from the depths of my soul and making my blood race. My mind had yet to fully comprehend what I had agreed to, but a chill of fear was already running through my body.


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    Butterflies fluttered in my solar plexus, my heart pounding with anticipation and fear at the same time. My fingertips grew cold and I tucked them under my armpits, trying not to show my excitement.


    After a short queue, Grant and I climbed into the two-seater carriage, leaving Lias on the ground waiting for us. He didn''t seem very enthusiastic about our venture, so it was funny and unusual to see the ever-smiling and cheerful bodyguard so grumpy.


    The operators strapped us in, gave us a quick briefing and wished us a good journey. I was able to control myself as our two-seater accelerated through the jungle, but on the desert bends I screamed, my voice cracking.


    The sand dunes were replaced by a waterfall from which we descended at an angle of almost eighty degrees, then the road led us to a covered pavilion where the stars and planets were lit up from the total darkness.


    We rode around most of the park to get back to the start. But before we reached the finish line, there was one last challenge ¨C a mountain that a tiny carriage had to climb slowly, slowly.


    At the highest point, the open carriage floated for half a minute, allowing us to enjoy the view of the city at night. I wanted to come back here to see the capital in the sunlight.


    The people in the central square seemed miniaturised, the height breathtaking, even the wind was cleaner, flowing freely at such altitude. The carriage started with a jerk and I gripped the handholds with white knuckles, glancing at Grant and wishing the descent would end as soon as possible.


    My heart skipped a few beats, or even stopped for fear, and I regretted having agreed to go on this ride. Why were people so eager to come up with entertainment that made you feel like getting grey hairs was the least you could do?


    And then we were just thrown down.


    We''d laugh about it later when we heard our hoarse voices. But at that moment we were terrified. Grant and I screamed like we were being eaten alive by some goddamn hellfire.


    Frankly, I''d rather die than do an encore of this ride.


    After such an emotional rollercoaster, we decided not to test ourselves on any more rides. For the first five minutes I couldn''t get off the bench, I could feel every muscle in my body shaking with adrenaline.


    Lias stood beside us and laughed silently. We declined his offer to go home. We didn''t want that, we needed peace and quiet, not to be beaten up by the president for wandering around the most crowded places in the country for half a day without any concern for our safety.


    The bodyguard led us down an alleyway to the other side of the park. Fountains ran along the path, lighting the way. The breeze caressed my skin, rustled the leaves of the trees, played with the flowers in the beds, mixing the warm air of a summer night with the honeyed scent of blooming gillyflowers. Nearby, swings creaked and music played softly from children''s toy machines.


    We begged Lias to buy us ice cream and enjoyed it in silence, waiting for the president''s driver to drive to the back entrance of the park to pick us up. The high school students were blowing bubbles to entertain the late crowd.


    I had always loved bubbles. They glistened beautifully in the light, danced with the air, disappeared instantly, but brought so much beauty and joy to the world. I wished my life could be like theirs... just as fleeting, but beautiful.


    I smiled sadly, my life will bring no joy to anyone, but no one will remember me afterwards, just like this fragile soapy creature that didn''t reach my hand. I will burst, the tiny drops will be scattered by the wind, not a speck of memory will be left of me.


    ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± Grant stepped towards me, catching the dissonance in my emotions.


    ¡°It''s beautiful here. Mum and I used to walk down this alley, but it was so long ago... like a dream that was dreamed a long time ago, but remembered. When you don''t even know if it was real or just a dream, a fragment of a memory.¡±


    Circul nodded. ¡°I often experience this. Sometimes I don''t know if my memories were in the real world. Everything gets mixed up and confused over time.¡±


    ¡°That''s the way it has to be. This is the cruel reality. It''s preordained,¡± said Lias, a convinced fatalist who had been studying the stars in the capital''s sky.


    ¡°Let''s come back later, shall we? So we don''t forget this day,¡± Grant suggested, smiling encouragingly.


    ¡°Okay,¡± I grinned, surprised at his sudden offer. ¡°But next time, no strawberry ice cream. I hate strawberries.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± the president''s son smirked.


    Oh, so he bought it with that taste on purpose? Was he just trying to piss me off or something? I narrowed my eyes and jokingly tried to step on the bad guy''s foot. How could I? Circul anticipated my intention before it even appeared in my vengeful mind and jumped back laughing, showing me his tongue. How well he had learned me...


    But the thought that my enemy knew me in every detail didn''t stop my blood from boiling. I shoved the ice cream towards our guardian, scooped a handful of water from the fountain and splashed it at Grant. He almost dodged, but accepted the challenge. Now Lias was standing there with three waffle cones in his hands, watching our little scuffle.


    I was about to bathe the top of one bad guy''s head in a cold fountain when he suddenly stopped, his hand raised in warning. ¡°Shh, do you hear that? A sort of squeaking?¡±

 Im sorry pt2

    ¡°Shh, do you hear that? A sort of squeaking?¡±


    My heart sank when I saw the cardboard box on the side of the bin. We could barely make out the crooked, gnarled lettering that read ¡®Please shelter the kittens¡¯. We rushed to the source of the squeaking, tiny furry bodies huddled together at the bottom of the tattered shelter. Only two were alive.


    ¡°Let''s take them, please?¡± I looked pleadingly at Lias, who looked at the barely breathing, dirty lumps with regret.


    ¡°I''m allergic to animals. You can''t take them,¡± Grant was adamant.


    ¡°What? We''re just gonna leave them here?¡±


    I couldn''t believe Circul Junior was so cruel. How could a man abandon poor kittens out in the open?


    ¡°Are your allergies so dangerous? Could you die?¡± I glared at the disgruntled guy, wishing for the first time in my life that I had the power to affect his emotions. I wished I could use his magic right now.


    ¡°No.¡±


    Then why did he refuse?


    I grabbed the box, sat down in the bushes, ignoring the thorns and bugs, and declared, ¡°I''m not moving until we get these kittens.¡±


    The bodyguard winked at me and smiled. Completely on my side. I had to get Grant, who was frowning at me with black, narrowed eyes and silent anger.


    ¡°Dav had a prediction,¡± said he.


    ¡°And?¡± I raised an eyebrow, searching for logic.


    ¡°It was about you. Dav said you''d cry over these kittens.¡±


    Circul''s voice seemed serious, but why did his words make me laugh? What did he care about my tears?


    ¡°Gra-a-ant,¡± I begged, ¡°can I promise not to cry? Then can I take them?¡±


    The guy sighed, still annoyed by my plea. For a moment, the crazy thought of running away from the Circuls before the contract was finished crossed my mind. I''d find a home for the kittens before I left the world anyway.


    ¡°Okay,¡± he suddenly changed his mind and took the box from me. I just had to hope he didn''t throw the foundlings out on the street while I was distracted.


    We decided to take the kittens to Gisborne because he had a degree in zoology.


    ¡°The main thing is not to show them to Barg,¡± Kai greeted us at the door. You have your dinner first and I''ll take them to Grandpa.¡±


    I had no appetite for food. I chewed two sandwiches dry and jumped up, leaving Grant alone in the dining room. Grandfather Asanor was in the living room, feeding a shivering grey lump from a bottle with Kai. The second surviving kitten, a black one, slept sweetly on his back with its front paws outstretched.


    ¡°That''s a boy,¡± the older man nodded at the sleeping one. ¡°This little girl looks like she has rhinotracheitis.¡±


    I looked at the girl, she was barely eating, her head tilted to one side. Her blue eyes were clogged with pus and she was breathing heavily, coughing every five minutes, which made my heart ache. But remembering the promise I had made to Grant, who had followed me almost immediately, I held back the tears.


    ¡°I''m afraid magic won''t help,¡± Gisborne shook his head at Circul Junior''s suggestion of calling a vet with healing magic. ¡°She''s too weak and any intervention will only make her worse. Either she''ll recover on her own, or...¡±


    We hoped for the best. We entrusted the president''s son to look after the black cat while we looked after the girl.


    It was only in the middle of the night that the elder Asanor and I decided to leave the sick, unhappy furballs and at least get some sleep. Kai agreed to look after the kittens, settled down in the living room and kept a close eye on their condition.


    ¡°Finally in a warm, soft bed...¡± Circul exhaled happily as we reached the guest wing where we usually slept when we stayed in his grandfather''s penthouse.


    I froze at the open door, remembering that Gisborne had allowed me to use the other guest quarters. ¡°From now on I''ll sleep separately.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Grant didn''t realise what I had said at first, but the smile fell from his lips as he looked at my face.


    ¡°I want a separate bedroom.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± The young man frowned.


    ¡°Don''t you get it? Everyone in presidential circles already thinks we''re a real couple¡­¡±


    ¡°Isn''t that so?¡± Instead of the extinguished smile, a perpetual mocking grin crept across his face. Circul Junior looked at me defiantly ¨C was he testing my patience?


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    ¡°We''re not bomb-bound now,¡± I said, walking into our shared bedroom. I picked up my favourite pillow from the bed, turned around and grinned wickedly. ¡°Now I can''t stop myself from smothering you in your sleep for all your naughty pranks and bad temper.¡±


    ¡°You could have done it a long time ago.¡±


    ¡°I could have. But then the damn bomb would have been activated, and half the city would have gone to hell with us.¡±


    I was about to leave the room, but he blocked my way.


    ¡°And yet I insist that we sleep in the same bed,¡± Circul said, looking me straight in the eye.


    ¡°I insist otherwise! Stand back.¡±


    I punched the guy in the side, but he just pushed me harder against the doorjamb.


    ¡°I don''t want to. If I let you go, I''ll have nightmares again,¡± said Grant.


    I snorted, trying to suppress a feeling of pity and slight admiration. The young man seemed so innocent and vulnerable now.


    I would have believed that truth, but my mind kept telling me to stay away from the cause of my heart''s malfunction. The stupid organ had been beating itself to death for the past twenty-four hours whenever the president''s son stared at me, or stood close to me. Unacceptably close.


    ¡°Grant, I''m serious. Let me pass. I... I feel uncomfortable with you.¡±


    I tried to conjure up the emotion that would make him let me go. The first thought of what would happen to him when he heard of his father''s death was painful.


    Everything inside me was turned upside down, shattered, as the image came before me: a lost and devastated Grant, who had lost not only his mother but also his father, who had done terrible things but whom he loved immensely. My fictional fianc¨¦ truly loved and respected Rizor; he would never forgive me for killing him.


    My heart clenched at the thought ¨C anger and resentment would fill the younger Circul. He wouldn''t be able to forgive me, he wouldn''t understand. His hatred and vengeance will be my reward for my crime. I''ve come to know the president''s son well over the past few weeks; he will stop at nothing in his quest for revenge.


    And by the time he started hunting, I would have to be far away. So far away that not even the gods could find me. So that not even fate could prevent me from reaching my final goal, oblivion in death.


    And I''d rather Grant didn''t find me then. To take revenge. I didn''t want the hands of the only real person I cared about stained with blood.


    I had to kill myself as quickly as possible so that he wouldn''t have time to cross the line beyond which only eternal torture in the flames of the inferno would follow.


    My imagination painted the result that awaited us at the end of the road. I had known it for a long time, accepted it long ago and got used to the sad end. But why did it hurt so much?


    I exhaled and came to my senses. Circul was studying my emotions intently. He was tense, a wrinkle between his eyebrows. His dark eyes glittered with confusion, as if he couldn''t understand why I was so bitter and alienated.


    ¡°I want to be alone,¡± I said, almost in a whisper, because I didn''t have the strength left to fight Grant and my heart.


    The young man''s eyes flashed with disappointment and a sadness that cut the edges of the last few happy hours. His fingers on my shoulder trembled, but didn''t let go completely.


    ¡°Please,¡± I said with the last of my strength. Closed my eyes to keep from crying.


    There was a soft sigh above my head. His hands slipped away, sending shivers down my spine. It smelled of cold and repressed emotions.


    ¡°Go.¡±


    I opened my eyes before he could turn away. I saw the shadow on his face.


    All I wanted to do was escape, so I sprinted out the door and made it to my new bedroom in a matter of moments.


    I wanted to get rid of myself. I hated being alone with myself. I hated being me. I hadn''t seen Grant so depressed in a long time. It made my heart ache all the more, and I blamed myself for my misfortune and unhappy fate.


    I wanted to speed up the passage of time, to bring the hour of reckoning closer. I wanted to fulfil my part of the contract and leave, scattering with my last breath the memories of the bomb, the president, his son, doubts and wrong feelings.


    I wanted to speed things up, to ask for time, for the Hour to come. And I wanted to stop it.


    To stop my sad story, the end of which I already knew. Could I have replayed it?


    Yes.


    And knowing that only made it worse. I could have. But I never would have. The one thing I''d always liked about myself was determination. Now I hated myself for it.


    Because I knew I wouldn''t change my promise. Because there was no other feeling that could drive the hatred and bitterness of loss from my heart. Because I could still see the smiles of my friends, my family, Krile and baby Di.


    Because I swore.


    And if I don''t get my revenge, I won''t find peace in the next life. Yes, my fingers will be stained with blood, my soul will be stained with murder, but it cannot be otherwise.


    You can''t escape the last wish. Such is our false and imperfect world. There is no escape from the blade of retribution, whether it is thrust into your heart or heavy in your hand. Once it appears, it will drag you down forever, and even if it doesn''t materialise in this world, it will reach you in the next. I understood Dav better than anyone. His revenge tormented him, tore him apart, prevented him from meeting his beloved.


    A cruel feeling. A cruel world.


    But what depressed me most was the thought that I wasn''t the only one suffering from this cursed desire. I couldn''t bear to see the young man I had become so close to suffer.


    I clutched the pillow helplessly, holding back the tears. The moon drew a white line across the blanket through the open curtains, its light caressing the skin of my arm. I was glad to see it, a silent witness to my mental suffering. Absurdly funny, but its presence made me feel less lonely. Not so uncomfortable. I was alone for the first time in weeks. No one was nagging me, or sniffing in my ear, or tossing and turning, or draping a blanket over me.


    I buried my nose in my pillow, squeezed my eyes shut and whispered bitterly, ¡°I''m sorry, Grant.¡±


    I''m sorry.


    ¡Á ¡Á Death¡¯s desire ¡Á ¡Á


    .


    .


    .


    P.S. The world where this takes place is called Ejv. Remember Siri''s conversation with Dav about the four lives? It''s been mentioned before, but I''ll remind you.


    If you want to meet your loved one in the next reincarnation, you have to live your life without regrets. But! If you have a last wish (for example, revenge, if your loved one died because of someone else''s fault), you will not be able to meet him/her, you may not even get into the next reincarnation.


    Why is that? The gods made a mistake when they created the world (official version). Well, actually they didn''t mess up, there''s a whole story there, but that''s for another time.


    P.P.S. How do people find out the number of their lives? They go to a magician with a special gift who can see their past lives. Grant''s third life is harvest time.


    Siri doesn''t know. She doesn''t care. Either way, whether she dies forever or is reborn in the next life, death is, she believes, liberation.

 54. And this flower is called smeraldo

    That night was the first time I dreamt of Rizor Circul.


    At four o''clock in the morning, Barg scratched at the door and demanded to be fed. I groaned and got out of bed, regretting that I wouldn''t be able to sleep again. I opened the curtains and stared sullenly at the dawn sky, the green suburbs below, the grey skyscrapers and the high mountains on the horizon, shrouded in the mist rising from the river.


    I found myself thinking that I would have liked to stand over this picture until midday, listening to the muffled sounds of the waking city, had not time changed the morning colours into the bright reflections of a sunny day, the mist into smog, and the silence into the noise and bustle of the metropolis.


    I had a dream about Rizor Circul.


    I vaguely remembered what he''d done in my dream, what he''d said, or if he''d said anything at all. But I remembered his gaze, his unforgettable eyes, tinged with the magic of Oblivion, his breath. It was as if he was beside me, looking down on me, towering over me. And I could see the look of reproach and remorse in his eyes.


    I reached up to stroke my collar. I''d got used to it. The gesture had soothed me lately. But my fingers found nothing, and with the relief came the echoes of fear in my soul.


    ¡®You''ll see...¡¯ the president''s words were relentless, repeating in my head, constantly playing in the background whenever I became distracted and stopped controlling the flow of my thoughts.


    Now that the bomb was no longer part of my flesh, there was uncertainty. Until now, I''d been waiting for the damn thing to go off, not thinking much about the future, how I''d behave once it was gone. Grant, Rizor, death, and now the kittens ¨C so much to think about, so many decisions to make.


    I had no need of nightmares about Circul, the ruler of Unica.


    Had I been so affected by our last conversation? The worms of doubt were gnawing at my insides, eating away at my confidence. Not much, just around the edges, but I was afraid that their diligence would soon erode the foundation of my steadfastness. Part of my heart wanted to convince me of the truth of the president''s words, to make me believe that we could have something with Grant.


    ¡®Naive Siri,¡¯ I grinned to myself. The mind still reigned over the realm of hopelessness, confused thoughts, conflicting emotions and indecipherable desires.


    ¡°Only a miracle can stop me from killing Rizor,¡± I breathed into the void. ¡°Or if I lose my mind.¡±


    And forget who I am.


    For a moment I really wanted to lose my memory, to go mad, to be happy in my ignorance and in the world gone mad. Are fools, as they say, the most carefree people? Perhaps.


    I smiled, imagining myself amnesiac and insane for the fun of it. Sitting in a padded ward, counting the non-existent sun bunnies on the wall, biting my fingernails out of boredom and singing incoherent words with a mysterious look on my face, not caring about anything.


    But then a shadow of realisation struck my idealistic picture. I would have forgotten Grant, too¡­ And it made my heart ache. Not much, but noticeable.


    I patted my cheeks, chasing away the thoughts and unnecessary emotions. I wanted to get some fresh air. So I grabbed my windbreaker from the back of the chair and walked out of the bedroom, much to Barg''s delight.


    The house was asleep, the inhabitants, tired from rescuing the kittens, had not yet got up. I alone was awake, to my anger, and could not forget myself in my sleep. I fed and walked the pug in the nearest square and went out on the balcony to stretch the magic that flowed lazily through my blood.


    My powers happily responded to the call of the wind, the cold air touching my cheeks making me feel a little better. A smile even appeared on my lips as I spun, creating a small whirlwind. My hair whipped up, the skin under my thin shirt covered in goose bumps. A simple spell I''d learnt from a book I''d borrowed from the presidential library came to mind. ¡°Strings of wind.¡±


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    I ran my fingertips over the strands of air and there was a faint ¡®twang¡¯ on the balcony. The melody that Circul Junior had given me to listen to on our trip to the sea came to mind. As I thought about it, the wind blew over the strings, creating a special, unique sound.


    This wonderful melody was enchanting in its simplicity. It soothed my soul and I wanted to dissolve into it, to become a breeze whose essence was freedom itself.


    I stood on tiptoe, squared my shoulders and closed my eyes, listening to the flowing, magical tones.


    ¡°Beautiful,¡± came from behind me.


    I turned sharply to meet Grant''s gaze as he stood by the door with a mug of coffee in his hand. How long had he been watching me?


    ¡°Can''t sleep either?¡± he asked, covering his yawning mouth with his hand. And then the young man smiled at my dazed look, held out the mug and said, ¡°Do you want some? I made a lot.¡±


    ¡°I won''t say no,¡± I said as I walked past.


    I felt embarrassed, like I''d been caught doing something private. At the same time, I was glad to see Circul. Horribly, it had only been a few hours and I already missed his sleepy face, those mischievous gleams in his eyes and his nasty temper.


    Well, I could only hope that this feeling didn''t turn into withdrawal.


    After breakfast, Gisborne sent us off to the pet shop with a huge shopping list. The pet shop and pharmacy were only a few blocks away.


    As new parents, we went on a shopping spree with Grant. Carriers, litter boxes, cat litter, holistic food, bowls, water fountains, jump toys, mint mice and tinned turkey stuffed in aubergine. There was also wormer, ear lotion, eye drops, nappies and lots of goodies.


    Kai was speechless when he saw the mountain of bags we had brought home. He was obviously ashamed (and jealous) that Barg didn''t get such attention and care from him. He had a look on his face that said, ¡®Go buy something for my pet. A new bone? Crunchy chew toys? Or maybe a heated sleeping mat?¡¯


    Gisborne said nothing to our wildly burning eyes and hands full of shopping, just chuckled, but I could see the irony and amusement in his gaze.


    It was time to introduce Barg to the kittens, as it was impossible to look at his neb and his ¡®why am I not allowed in the living room all morning?¡¯ look. I would have preferred that our poor little wanderers, who had just found a home and a faint sense of security, had never crossed paths with a horribly nasty, attention-seeking, centre-of-the-universe, old pug.


    But today, it seemed, the centre of the universe had moved for him. Surprisingly, the dog, who had at first been extremely suspicious of the black lump of fur and cuteness, became very sympathetic as soon as the blackie opened his eyes and squeaked out a complaint or a request.


    Kai''s pet''s grey tail curled and wagged and his eyes lit up with joy. A few minutes later, after the sniffing ritual had been completed, the two of them were comfortable in each other''s company.


    The girl was still breathing heavily, so we just showed her to the pug to let him know that his new friend had a little sister, and then took her to a safe place where she fell asleep after eating. And I hoped it was a healing sleep.


    My fears of a world pet war didn''t materialise. Blackie tried to bully Barg, but the dog growled at him a few times, and then the biting of his grey ears and attempts to ride on his back stopped. How could you not get on with these gorgeous kittens? They were wonderful.


    Even the president appreciated our foundlings. He came to Gisborne''s this afternoon to see us. The moment the ever-strict man, hated by millions of his own people, took the black kitten in his hand, everything inside me turned upside down. Yes... even the greatest of villains can''t resist the charm of furry innocence, tailed defencelessness and whiskered simplicity.


    It was beyond me to see the head of the country and my worst enemy pampering the little kitten, and the kitten purring in return. I stealthily made my way to the balcony, luckily the ¡®leash¡¯ didn''t stop me now.


    I enjoyed my independence, being able to go where I wanted, walk, zigzag, without fear of the chain getting caught in furniture. It was a good feeling, the feeling of freedom at my fingertips.


    By dinnertime, the future, I had no doubt, most beautiful kitten in the world was feeling better. For now, she slept in her room all the time.


    It was dangerous to leave her with her brother, who could also develop complications. According to Gisborne, rhinotracheitis is a fairly common disease in cats. We planned to vaccinate the kittens in a few days'' time, and I hoped the illness would pass without any consequences.


    We gathered in the living room, snuggled into sofas and armchairs. Grant had lit the fire and put up a screen to keep the curious furry bully from sticking his nose in and burning his whiskers. For the time being, the blackie was chasing everyone who passed by, running from one corner of the room to the other, rolling over in amusement and offering his belly for a rub.


    I lay on the carpet with the kitten nestled against my chest, listening to its loud purr. Gisborne was drinking whisky, a smile hidden in his moustache. Kai stroked Barg behind his ears, and Grant played with the flames, changing their shape with his mind.


    ¡°What are you going to call them?¡± Grandfather broke the silence.


    Circul shrugged and I frowned. I hadn''t even thought about it before.


    ¡°I want special names. I want them to have some kind of meaning.¡±


    The old man snorted at my answer and said: ¡°Then call them Drago and Eris.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± The three of us looked at Asanor Senior.


    Even Barg turned a surprised muzzle in Grandpa''s direction.

 And this flower is called smeraldo pt2

    ¡°Oh, youth. Doesn''t your generation have any interest in anything at all? You don''t know the truth,¡± the grey-haired man grumbled. ¡°Grant, why don''t you go into my bedroom and get a book?¡±


    ¡°The one you read so often?¡± The guy pulled away from the magic, the clumps of fanciful fire falling onto the logs, lost in the flames of the real fire.


    Gisborne nodded, and Circul reluctantly got to his feet and walked upstairs, shooting me a reproachful look that said, ¡®This is all because of you. Why have you started this conversation? I''m supposed to have a lazy day today, not all this...¡¯ I didn''t think any further. I just prepared myself with a wry smile to greet him when he returned.


    The guy soon arrived with a leather-bound folio. The book was so large that it was difficult to read without the special stand Grant had brought.


    On the front cover and along the spine was an ornate pattern that looked like flower buds. I would have ignored it, but the shape and number of petals with silvery veins, serrated leaves and thin thorns ¨C my heart squeezed, I recognised these creations of a non-existent nature. They were the ones growing in the Garden of Nameless Flowers. They were the ones I had admired in Virtul when I first met Grant Circul.


    ¡°So it was here somewhere...¡± Asanor rustled the pages and looked at the book with anticipation. ¡°Here it is, the story my first wife loved. She read the story almost every day,¡± his blue eyes twinkled with a touch of nostalgia. ¡°Young girls like to sob over a nice fairy tale now and then, especially if it''s a sad and fragrant love story...¡± He gave me a mocking look from under his bushy eyebrows.


    I sat comfortably, ready to listen to every word. And? Valuable quality literary ¡®glass¡¯ has always been in vogue. Like a drug, it corroded the soul and painfully clenched the heart in agony and withdrawal, I wanted more and more desperately, stronger and more emotional. Once you have experienced the charm and the essence of psychic torment, the great and merciless ¡®angst¡¯, you cannot return to the side of warm and easy ¡®fluff¡¯.


    Grant snuggled up next to me and took the blackie from me. His allergies, though showing signs, were not as aggressive as we had feared. So the purring charm won out and Circul Junior surrendered without a fight, capitulating to the mercy of the loudly purring lump and stoically enduring itchy eyes and a tickle in his nose.


    ¡°This legend is about the First World. The one where the gods gave mankind the gift of eternal life,¡± grandfather Asanor said.


    ¡°The world that was called Born?¡±  Kai interrupted.


    ¡°Ah, well. At least you know that,¡± Gisborne grinned approvingly.


    ¡°They told us that in primary school.¡± The blonde-haired guy shrugged his shoulders.


    I frowned as I remembered. In the farthest corner of my memory, where no thought had gone before, a memory appeared.


    ¡®Every life a world. Every purpose a destiny. Every soul a gift. The Universe has wisely divided all stages of our existence into four parts. In the first world you simply cultivate the soil and plant a small seed of your soul. In the second, you tend that seed to make it grow. In the third, you carefully pluck the plant you''ve nurtured. And in the fourth... you savour its fragrance...¡¯


    ¡®Mum, why do we have to go to the magicians to find out which life we are living now? The worlds also have an order: first, second, third...¡¯


    ¡®That''s a good question, my dear. That''s what people used to think. Until one day the worlds turned upside down, order turned to chaos, shattering the way things used to be...¡¯


    In the world of Born, people didn''t die. They lived in eternity until Time appeared.


    I''ve always been frightened by the concept of this world. Living forever with no way of dying. No choice. No ability to close your eyes and walk away.


    ¡°The Demiurge created a beautiful world, endowed it with plants and living things. He divided his essence into seven parts, from which were born the seven gods who would rule this world...¡± Gisborne began. His hoarse voice carried through the living room, setting a lyrical mood. ¡°And the Demiurge finally created, as the crowning glory of his creation, a magnificent garden where the most wonderful plants grew. He loved this garden most of all, enjoyed blooming in it and resting from his work.


    But the time had come for him to leave his land to build new worlds. He told the gods to look after the flowers, to cherish them as the apple of his eye, but never to pluck his favourite creation.


    However, one flower in the Demiurge''s garden so enchanted the Elder God that he wished to possess it. At sunset, he plucked the bud he had grown so fond of. Immediately, an earthquake shook the world, and winds of fury swept through the garden, uprooting the plants and parching the earth.


    Great was the wrath of the Creator at that time. The gods are cruel and skilful in their punishments. The Demiurge is just but pitiless. The Creator promised the guilty god that none of his descendants would know forgetfulness and would suffer in immortality. The God was crushed, remorse overwhelmed, but the crime was committed.


    But the Demiurge had mercy. Only one man could suffer the fate of many. Only one man could be punished, but only he who, like a god, would break the supreme law¡­¡± That was the preface. Now for the legend itself.¡±


    Gisborne cleared his throat, looked around with a keen eye and began: ¡°Once upon a time, there was a prince who had everything, the whole world was at his feet, many great deeds were performed before his eyes, the best scholars, magicians and officials taught him the art of ruling and organising the lives of his subjects.


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    But the heir to the throne was bored, he did not like high society with all its entertainments and comforts, boredom overcame him in the evenings when he sat in the garden, carefree, resting after all his affairs.


    And what do you think happened? He met a girl who, with her smile and the mischief in her ever-cheerful eyes, could brighten the grey of his days.


    But she was destined for someone else, the chosen one and favourite of the gods, a thief and a rogue whom fate had generously showered with a handful of good fortune.


    What happened next? Our prince fell in love, though of course at first he suppressed the impulses of his heart, rejecting thoughts of love and other tender feelings.


    But selfishness and the madness of love took their toll, and the prince kidnapped the girl, hid her against her will in a safe mansion, and gradually began to tame her. She no longer looked at him so wildly when he went down to the garden in the evening, her favourite place, to listen to her sing, to welcome the sublime chill of the night and the buzzing of the mosquitoes at the fountain.


    Long conversations by the fire with a cup of hot tea or coffee, pages of thick books from the library, each paragraph and sentence nourishing the mind and giving rise to heated discussions until the throat was hoarse, until it was husky, but they loved to argue and learn new facets of each other in these verbal battles.


    Late breakfasts (because they are both sleepyheads) that flowed smoothly into lunches, horse riding in the woods, catching crucian carp on the lake, hiding in the field with rye, quiet afternoons in the summerhouse where she painted and he read reports from the capital.


    Day by day, her heart softened, love sprouted and blossomed.


    But the gods can''t stand it when humans ruin their plans, and they promise a terrible punishment to the one who separates the destined, who takes what is not rightfully theirs ¨C not oblivion, but existence in eternal suffering.


    But the inhabitants of the heavens are cunning; they send a punishment that should be man''s voluntary choice, to blame himself for his decision.


    ¡°Healer, please tell me what''s wrong with Eri. Why did she faint today? Is she sick? Can you cure her?¡± It was the first time the prince was so afraid, he had never imagined it could happen: another person''s life means more than his own.


    ¡°Your Highness, I regret that my efforts here will be in vain. The girl is fading, though she loves you, away from her true mate, her body and soul are withering, I fear her inner fire will soon be extinguished. If you don''t return her to her rightful lover, her spirit will fade.¡±


    The prince clutched the arms of his chair with anger and resentment against the world and fate. No, he would not give up so easily. He would find a way to keep her alive without letting her go.


    And as soon as the family doctor left his office, the lord of the manor hurried to the library, to the section where forbidden spells and rituals were kept. The prince had a gift, and there was no magic that would not find a way out of any difficulty; he was prepared to sacrifice everything he had, to pay any price, just to keep his beloved alive.


    The solution was found almost immediately, in the first volume. An ancient curse on two lovers, seemingly harmless, but condemning them to endless rebirths.


    She would become a beautiful flower, returning to her human form at sunset and to a fragile plant at dawn, while he... for every breath she took, he would have to give a part of his soul, and when the summers of the world were over, his soul would become part of the wind, his body would be scattered in ashes, and the gods would be satisfied with their vengeance.


    ¡°So much...¡± the prince groaned, leaning back in his chair, ¡°my soul and the impossibility of being reborn to see her smile, feel her touch, hear her laugh and inhale the scent of her favourite perfume while I am still alive.¡±


    One soul in exchange for another. The prince looked at the wall, decorated with sunbeams dancing through the hazel leaves, covered his eyes for a moment and returned to the book.


    He decided to perform a blood ritual tonight, cursing them both, sacrificing eternal life for love, and perhaps the gods would have mercy and give him and his beloved a second chance.


    How did it end? A few moons later.


    The prince collapsed on the steps leading to the garden. The mansion towered silently over its master, watching, waiting ¨C soon to absorb the remaining crumbs of power that flowed in scarlet drops of blood from the hand clutching the flower.


    The bluish-lilac bud with white veins on the petals was almost wilted, the serrated dragon-green leaves twisted back to the base, hanging on with a last effort, threatening to fall at the feet of whoever was holding them with every gust of wind.


    ¡°Eri, I am sorry... forgive me,¡± the barely audible words fell from his lips. They went on and on, each time softer, whispered, then silent.


    Suddenly the young man''s fine features were distorted with pain.


    ¡°Aaaaagh,¡± a scream of agony echoed through the garden.


    Prince Drago put his hands to his chest where his heart was bursting. His heart that he had guarded so carefully for decades, not allowing it to soften or harden immensely.


    The flower slipped from his trembling fingers, hit the stone tiles, a gust of wind picked it up and pushed it closer to the edge. The bud overhung the step and fell onto the evenly mown lawn, where it remained motionless, protected from the breeze by the granite balustrade and the figure of a young man in agony.


    But then his cry changed to a weak, exhausted, long moan, punctuated by a startled cry, ¡°No! Where is she?¡±


    The prince looked around frantically, felt for the surface of the stairs, tried to get up, grabbed the balustrade. He stumbled, off balance, and fell face down on the grass. But again, with tenacity, Drago lifted his head and crawled forward.


    ¡°I feel you are here somewhere... why did you leave me?¡± he mumbled through his tears, barely moving his arms and legs. ¡°Why did even you leave me?¡±


    His fingertips brushed the velvet of the petal, and with the ecstasy of a man who had found meaning in life, he grasped the stem, brought the flower to his face, inhaled the faint scent. He kissed it wildly, tears streaming down his tattered shirt to his wrist, and blood staining it.


    ¡°Forgive me, my love, forgive me... I swear, I swear on my soul, I will beg the gods to bring me back to this world. I''ll get back to you.¡±


    Gritting his teeth in pain, the prince touched the petals to his lips one last time. His frozen limbs no longer obeyed him, clenching in death spasms.


    The last bright ray of the setting sun had faded beyond the horizon, darkness crept from behind the trees and covered the lawn with a chilly silence, even the ever-chirping birds on the branches had fallen silent, and the wind had hidden in the ravine.


    A scream.


    The kind of scream that made your knees buckle, that made you want to run, to go deaf, not to hear, not to feel the echoes of suffering in the ringing air. The young man sighed heavily and froze. His eyes were covered with the blindness of tears. Strength left every cell, evaporated from his bones, melted the light from his hair.


    The last drop dripped onto the ground. The prince burst into flames and scattered into a myriad of night moths. The wind returned to its meadow and carried the butterflies away, far from the looming mansion and the girl who slept in the soft, low grass where the petals of the fallen bud had glistened before.


    No one will wake her up that night and grumble about how soundly she slept.


    No one will sing a lullaby that night to the prince who loved to hear her voice so much.


    ¡­

 And this flower is called smeraldo pt3

    When the stillness of twilight meets the coolness of the grey misty morning, when the sky twitches with a golden pink haze and the green world awakens, she sits on the emerald grass under the canopy of trees, strokes her palm gently over the petals of blossoming flowers and waits.


    In immortality there is also joy, which settles on the lips with bitterness as soon as a smile touches the face. In immortality, days are erased, dry leaves of memories crumble, and nothing matters, there is no truth and evil, there is no warmth and laughter, the heart is frozen, and only melted tears on pale cheeks remind that life is not yet gone, it inhales and exhales rarely and runs through the blood, pounding with one thought: ¡®I will wait¡¯.


    ¡°I''ll be waiting for you,¡± the girl whispers into the void, knowing he''ll hear. ¡°Just come back. I believe your words.¡±


    She tucks back the strands of hair that the blue wind has blown over her eyes and smiles shyly at the approaching sun, which breaks through the leaves and draws sunbeams on the petals, dotted with dewdrops that make the air sparkle with light.


    ¡°I believe you, because you said you''d get back to me.¡±


    ¡°I''ll get back, I''ll get back... I''ll get back,¡± the wind echoed.


    A tear hits a leaf, makes it bounce, flicks the dewdrops away and they disappear into oblivion.


    ¡°I''ll be waiting.¡±


    Life is like dew. A single tear falls, and the divine wind picks up the drops and dries them, dissolving human destinies in the oblivion of death. And only love lives a little longer, it is like the scent of a falling petal, caught by the wind and carried to the heavenly azure where the gods enjoy the fragrance of sincere and tender feelings.


    Since the world of Born faded into oblivion, only two remain. They cannot fade into nothingness, for they will be punished forever. The gods who know of them have given them other names. Life and Death. The Beginning and the End. A fragrant silver bud and a swarm of night moths. An eternal circle, they condemned to wander forever in space, striving to meet. But when they touch, life disappears under the breath of death, and death, feeling the warmth of life, dissolves into darkness until they meet again.


    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    This is the story of Drago and Eris, a cursed prince and a beautiful maiden destined for another...¡±


    Gisborne closed the book in utter silence.


    So vivid were the fragments of the legend that floated through my mind. I exhaled quietly, ¡°It''s decided. They''ll be called Drago and Eri.¡±


    ¡°I hope the kittens have a much happier fate...¡± Grant said mockingly.


    I frowned. I definitely didn''t like Circul''s hint. Sometimes he had a tendency to look for bad things.


    ¡°In my day, it was fashionable to name children after villains. It was thought to bring good luck and ward off evil forces,¡± Gisborne said reassuringly.


    ¡°That''s why they named you after the worst wizard of all time, isn''t it, Grandpa?¡± the blonde-haired guy asked ironically.


    ¡°I actually thought the most horrible and terrifying wizard of all time was Kai Asterius...¡± The grandfather could not be outdone in the teasing department.


    I laughed, admiring the look of annoyance on Asanor Junior''s face. For decades, the scholars of the Academy had debated who was the cruelest mage, whether it was Gisborne Tazio or Kai Asterius. It seemed to be a sore subject for the blue-eyed master of the Barg.


    Once upon a time, people liked to name their children after bloodthirsty and cruel tyrants, but lately, for most of us, these names were just another reminder of shameful milestones in the country''s history. For over a hundred years, the Samun Empire, the Kingdom of Rith and Unica had been quietly competing for the title of best country. And the history of the states was not far behind in this senseless rivalry of nations.


    So the citizens, especially the rulers of this world, tried to rewrite the chronicles and hide any mention of historical figures undesirable for development and prosperity. Kai must have been teased a lot as a child because of his name.


    Unfortunately, we don''t get to choose what we''re called after we''re born. Even that is something our parents limit us to. And sometimes, along with the name they give us, they also give us the cruelty that will greet us in the world. Cruelty simply because we have been given a thoughtless name.


    But I hoped that a happy future, a carefree life and a quiet old age awaited our dear foundlings. In the end, the gods themselves took pity on Drago and Eris. The end of their story wasn''t so bad after all.


    I glanced furtively at Grant, who was watching the kitten''s play with fascination. Never before had his gaze been so warm and gentle. It was as if all the fire that had been a fiery blaze of anger, resentment and doom was now warming and softening, tempered and tamed.


    What will be the end of our story? Will it be death? Oblivion? Or eternal regret for the past, with no possibility of forgiving or forgetting? Or, as in a fairy tale, a happy ending?


    I didn''t know. And I didn''t even want to guess.