《All The Things I Do Not Hate》


 Chapter 1

    They found the letter before they noticed the groom was missing. It was written on the hotel¡¯s stationery. Just a few lines of hastily scrawled words were enough to destroy months of planning.


    Amelia came out of her dressing room to chaos and screaming. Her parents and the groom¡¯s parents were in the wedding hall, one side screaming at the other. The hall itself was perfect, but the guests were absent.


    The immediate family were still there, most looking confused. Amelia could sense that something was wrong. There were so many things out of place. The band was gone. Even the minister was missing from where he should have stood at the altar.


    The cellist of the string quartet should have started playing the music for her entry, but the musicians and their instruments were missing.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Amelia asked.


    ¡°Honey,¡± her mom said. ¡°Michael¡¯s missing.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not missing, Sandy,¡± Amelia¡¯s dad growled. ¡°He¡¯s gone. He left behind that stupid little letter, with his fucking useless apology.¡±


    Amelia froze. She was in her wedding dress, her face covered in makeup that had taken two hours yet looked light and effortless. The bouquet in her arms suddenly felt like it was made of lead, and she dropped the flowers. A minute before her future was decided. She would get married to Michael, go on a honeymoon to Greece, and return to a blissful, simple, life.


    It didn¡¯t matter that their marriage was more orchestrated than organic. She thought Michael liked her, and she had liked him. At the least, she had thought he respected her. Now, he had left her behind like trash and left somewhere.


    Her throat was going dry. Before she lost her ability to speak completely, she asked, ¡°What letter?¡±


    Despite her mother¡¯s attempt to stop him, her father handed Amelia the letter. It was Michael¡¯s handwriting, but hurried. Even their text messages had been formal, with proper punctuation. Something had knocked Michael out of his normal habits, his regular adherence to what was proper.


    I¡¯m sorry. I have to go. Kate called me, and she wants to get back together. Please tell Amelia it would be a bigger mistake for us to get married than me leaving now.


    So a marriage to her was a mistake, summed up in a single sentence. So she was the idiot girl who his parents had shown him, a consolation prize after some other woman had dumped him. Amelia knew he was right. If this was who Michael was, it was a good thing they hadn¡¯t gotten married. If he was so fickle as to leave her at the altar, to deal with all of the humiliation and consequences, he couldn¡¯t be relied upon to be a good husband. Or a loyal one.


    But the brief moment of awareness passed. She was surrounded by people who were angry, and she shared their anger. The guests were gone, but no doubt they all knew what happened. She would walk out of the wedding hall and face an entire social circle of people pitying her, offering her sympathy she did not need or want.


    Michael, in his stupidity, had left behind a lackluster apology and a mess for her to clean up. Their wedding wasn¡¯t just the both of them joining to become a family. It was a complex business transaction, two entities starting work together with Michael and Amelia¡¯s future as a stabilizing point. It was the work of dozens of people over the course of a year, now almost certainly destroyed.


    She had been the more enthusiastic one of them, pushing for the deal and the wedding both. Michael had never displayed second thoughts though. She thought he was just as committed to their partnership as she was.


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    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, my dear,¡± Michael¡¯s mother said, walking over and placing a hand on Amelia¡¯s shoulder. Amelia shrugged off the gesture. She needed a chair, and a drink. She did not need her former future mother-in-law trying to make things better.


    She settled into one of the chairs and let out a sigh. The only people who could help her now were those not so emotionally invested in the situation. Her dad was one two minutes away from throwing a chair. Her mother was on the verge of weeping. Michael¡¯s parents were only going to be reminders of their son. She looked around the room for who else was in the room.


    Her sister and brother-in-law walked into the room, and Amelia let out a sigh of relief.


    ¡°Pam!¡± she called out. She rushed to her sister. ¡°My phone, please.¡±


    She had given her phone to her sister for safekeeping. Her wedding dress was made of over ten yards of fabric, but somehow there had been no place for a pocket. With her phone in hand, she felt more secure. Escape was just a few taps away.


    ¡°And I¡¯m gonna need help changing out of this dress,¡± she said. The dress, just like everything else around her now felt unnecessarily heavy. She had made so many sacrifices for this day. Six months of dieting, endless hours getting fitted for the designer dress, countless meetings with the wedding planner and vendors making sure everything was perfect.


    Now everything looked like too much. The wedding hall was too big, the decorations too grand, the atmosphere far too formal. It wasn¡¯t even what she liked, just what their parents and their friends expected. She had done well meeting their expectations, and none of it mattered anymore.


    She wanted to get up from the chair and go back to her dressing room. Her dad was talking to Michael¡¯s father, but she couldn¡¯t form the words. Everything outside her own head was just headache inducing noise. It must have taken her a minute to gather the energy necessary to stand and take Pam¡¯s arm.


    ¡°Let me help you,¡± someone said, taking her other arm and helping her out of the hall.


    She didn¡¯t bother looking at the other person helping her. He stopped outside the dressing room, and Pam helped her out of the dress. In her shift, Amelia looked through the suitcase of clothing in the dressing room.


    It was all resort wear, meant for their summer honeymoon through the sunny streets of Santorini. It was still better than her alternatives¨C her wedding dress and another grand white dress she¡¯d intended to wear to their reception.


    She reached for a simple blue shift dress and slipped it on. It felt better, being in normal clothing. Michael could have left the wedding venue in her tuxedo and not attracted attention. All he had to do was take off his blazer and remove the bowtie. It must have been so simple for him, to shake off all their plans and promises.


    In the bathroom, she washed off the makeup and undid the chignon her hair was styled into, instead letting it be free. Half of her headache disappeared once her hair was freed of the bobby pins and pressure.


    ¡°Do you want to go home?¡± Pam asked. ¡°Travis and I can take you to your apartment.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Amelia said. ¡°Just let me stay here for a few minutes. There¡¯s no point in putting off the inevitable. I need to make some decisions, and I¡¯d rather get this all over with as soon as possible.¡±


    She stepped out of her dressing room and came face to face with Julian, Michael¡¯s older brother. So he was the one who¡¯d helped her back to her room.


    Amelia didn¡¯t know Julian well. He was more involved in the family business, but he was also antisocial, despite the severity of the word. She had only spoken to him a few times during the time she knew Michael. He wasn¡¯t unkind, just uninterested in most things and most people.


    Even now, coming face to face with her, Julian said nothing. He simply followed by her side as she walked back to the wedding hall. The silent company was unexpectedly comforting. It was almost like he was offering her support. It was foolish to expect that, though. It was probably just that he was trying to pour water on the bridges burned between their two families. Theoretically, their families could still work together.


    Amelia¡¯s dad wouldn¡¯t want to, but it would be nice if they could salvage something from the whole disastrous adventure. When they returned to the wedding hall, only Vera and Michael¡¯s mothers were there.


    ¡°Where¡¯s dad?¡± Amelia asked.


    ¡°Your dad and Mr. Holloway went to the hotel bar,¡± her mother said.


    ¡°What?!¡±


    Their fathers, the current situation, her dad¡¯s explosive temper, and alcohol. There was no way it would end well. She was glad she had changed her wedding shoes for practical black oxfords. She ran to the bar, already imagining the worst.

 Chapter 2

    It turned out the alcohol was faster than her father¡¯s temper. Pam¡¯s husband Adam was also with them, serving both older men more tequila shots. Amelia mouthed a silent thanks to him as she walked closer.


    ¡°Can you imagine any girl being better than my Amelia?¡± her father asked.


    Mr. Holloway shook his head. ¡°My son¡¯s an idiot.¡±


    He looked up and saw Julian. ¡°Not you, you¡¯re the smart one. The other one is an idiot.¡±


    ¡°Dad, I think you¡¯ve had enough. Let¡¯s get you back to your room,¡± Julian said.


    Amelia had to agree. Getting them drunk enough for them to no longer fight was a good idea, but she had no desire to send either of the men to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. She walked over to her dad and helped him off the bar stool.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you to bed, Dad,¡± she said. Day drinking was not a normal thing for them, but for today, it was excusable.


    ¡°This is why you should¡¯ve agreed to this,¡± Mr. Holloway said, slurring his words as he thumped Julian on the back. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have fucked this up.¡±


    He turned towards Amelia and placed his hand on her shoulder. ¡°You¡¯re such a sweet girl, Amelia.¡±


    She wasn¡¯t really sweet. She was only sweet to the people she considered her own, and for a second, she wished she could still consider Mr. and Mrs. Holloway as her people. They would¡¯ve been her family, and they had been nice to her. They were supportive of her career and her choices, and Mrs. Holloway was one of the sweetest women she ever met. It was strange how such normal and sweet people had produced such unusual sons, both in their own way. Michael was nice but detached, and Julian was aloof to the point of rudeness.


    ¡°Could you please take your father back to his room?¡± Amelia asked.


    Julian nodded, but instead made a call. ¡°Just wait for a minute. I¡¯ll have dad¡¯s secretary drive our parents back home. I think everyone will calm down once they¡¯re at home.¡±


    It reminded her of her own staff, and all the things she had to do. She called the wedding planner. There was a lot to be done.


    ¡°Hi Rachel,¡± she said. ¡°Do you know what¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Amelia,¡± Rachel said. Her concern sounded genuine. She¡¯d been with Amelia more than Michael had been during the previous months. The call was silent for a few uncomfortable seconds.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± Amelia said, because she didn¡¯t know what else to say. ¡°Could you make sure everyone working at the wedding knows that it¡¯s off? Also, arrange for the food to be donated somewhere, if possible. Let me know if there¡¯s anything you need from me.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I can do that. Just call me if you need anything else, okay?¡±


    They had sunk a lot of money into the wedding, although it was the least of her worries. It was too late to get any of the money back, but it would be nice if at least the food didn¡¯t go to waste.


    ¡°I will. Thank you,¡± she said. Rachel¡¯s sympathy wasn¡¯t so unbearable. She was tempted to ask if the wedding planner had experienced something similar before. Rachel had worked on hundreds of weddings. The divorce rate was fifty percent, so surely at least some weddings fell apart before the altar.


    Julian tapped her on the shoulder. Their fathers were gone from the bar, and he had a drink in his hand. It was a glass of white wine, her usual drink of choice. It was too weak for her at the moment. She made her way to the bar.


    ¡°Vodka tonic, please,¡± she said to the bartender. ¡°Make it strong.¡±


    She liked the burn down her throat. She turned to Julian. ¡°Wine¡¯s not gonna cut it today.¡±


    Neither would just one drink. She hated drinking during the day, but it wasn¡¯t exactly a normal day. She motioned for another of the same drink and downed it in one go. The alcohol hit her at the fourth drink, and the buzz was enough to dull the awareness of everything going on around her.


    She just wanted to go to her room and sleep. She could let Pam handle everything else for the day, hand over the phone and just pretend for a few hours that nothing was wrong.


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    ¡°Can I take you back to your room?¡± Julian asked.


    It was ridiculous. She was perfectly capable of walking a few steps and finding an elevator. As she took her first step though, she realized her confidence was unfounded. The room swayed, and she took Julian¡¯s arm to steady herself.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± she whispered. She hadn¡¯t had alcohol in months, and her previous tolerance was gone. Michael didn¡¯t like alcohol, and so she¡¯d weaned herself off of her occasional glasses of wine. She was trying her best to please him and his family. She thought compromising would make things work between them and their families. She could give up a few of the things she liked in exchange for a good marriage.


    She¡¯d been so stupid.


    Half of marriages ended in divorce, the majority of them between people who had loved each other, and she¡¯d thought she could cultivate that kind of affection. Maybe that¡¯s why so many marriages failed. Because people were overly confident idiots, just like her.


    ¡°Did you have any idea?¡± she murmured. Julian didn¡¯t look as surprised as the rest of the family. In fact, he looked like he was almost expecting Micahel¡¯s disappearance.


    ¡°I tried to talk him out of it,¡± he answered. ¡°I thought I did. I told him it was a stupid decision when he got the message from Kate. It was just a few texts, too. She didn¡¯t even call him. I told him she¡¯s gonna dump him again once she gets tired of him.¡±


    ¡°Will she?¡± Amelia asked. There was hope in her voice, but not because she ever wanted Michael. It just felt wrong, for him to knock her entire life out of balance and go riding off into the sunset. She hoped Kate dumped him when he least expected it, and ripped his heart out.


    ¡°Definitely. Kate has brief moments of clarity where she realizes she should spend life with someone with a stable income, their own house, savings, et cetera. But they¡¯re always brief, she always gets bored of Michael, and she dumps him to go on her next big adventure. Idiot doesn¡¯t realize he¡¯s just being used as a pit stop before she races off.¡±


    ¡°Slow down,¡± she said. ¡°Too many words.¡±


    ¡°Yes, she¡¯ll definitely dump him.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s so good,¡± she drawled. ¡°Remind me to send her a bottle of wine when she does.¡±


    They made it to her, and she dug around in her pocket for her key card. When she finally got it out, she rushed into her room and towards the bed in one motion. If she were sober, it would have been one smooth motion, but in reality it was more of a stumble.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± she said, slipping off her shoes. She would just take a nap for a few hours. Julian knew where she was if anyone really needed her. ¡°Could you let Pam know I¡¯m in my room, if you see her?¡±


    Sleep was hard to escape, and she tucked herself into bed quickly. The window blinds were open, and it was still mid-afternoon, but none of that mattered. Julian was still in the room, but she was too disoriented to see him out.


    Amelia woke up to the setting sun, and Julian sitting at the desk in her room. She was startled and sat up.


    ¡°Julian?¡±


    He handed her a glass of water and she took it. She could ask him questions and tell him to leave once her throat didn¡¯t feel like sandpaper. After a few more glasses of water, she got out of bed.


    ¡°Why are you still here?¡± she asked. ¡°And what time is it?¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure if you fell asleep or passed out, and I didn¡¯t think it was safe to leave you alone. And it¡¯s eight o¡¯clock.¡±


    Her reception would have been in full swing if all things went well.


    ¡°The wedding planner called earlier. She managed to get the food delivered to a local homeless shelter. Everything else has been taken care of as well,¡± Julian said.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she said. Everything was undone now, in a way. She would wake up in the morning and be able to get back to her normal¨C


    The honeymoon. The next evening, she was supposed to be flying across the Atlantic and spending two weeks in Santorini. The entire itinerary was planned around them being honeymooners. It wasn¡¯t somewhere she could go alone.


    Pam.


    Pam couldn¡¯t say no to a free vacation. If not her, she could invite one of her friends. It would be nice to get away from people who knew her for a bit as well. The talk would die down, and she¡¯d come back ready to deal with everything relaxed and refreshed.


    ¡°Pam¡¯s in the hospital, by the way,¡± Julian said.


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s doing fine now and everything¡¯s alright, but you should call her,¡± Julian said. He handed her her phone and left the room. ¡°I¡¯ll see you later.¡±


    Pam was always the most recent of her phone calls, and she answered on the fourth ring.


    ¡°Pam, are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes,¡± Pam answered. ¡°I¡­ wanted to tell you this after the wedding. I¡¯m pregnant, Ames.¡±


    A smile came to Amelia¡¯s face, unbidden. She chuckled. ¡°Thanks for telling me, Pam. Is everything okay with the baby?¡±


    It was the one good thing she¡¯d heard all day. Pam and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for years, and they¡¯d started taking fertility treatments.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine,¡± Pam sighed. ¡°The stress just got to me, and I started feeling dizzy. It¡¯s been a crappy first trimester. Baby¡¯s fine, though.¡±


    ¡°Okay, which hospital are you at?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m at East Presbyterian. Come over in the morning. The doctors recommended I stay overnight anyway, and it¡¯s outside visiting hours.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, for sure, in the morning.¡±


    In the morning. And so her first and most preferred choice for coming on her honeymoon was out.

 Chapter 3

    In the morning, she woke up and went back to her apartment. The apartment that contained far too many of Michael¡¯s things. Him moving in had been a gradual process, and Amelia had liked that he didn¡¯t rush. Now it was clear that it wasn¡¯t deliberation, it was him dragging his feet. Their whole relationship had been both families dragging Michael to the altar. They hadn¡¯t gone on many dates, no trips, and she didn¡¯t even want to think about the lack of intimacy.


    She was so, so stupid. She bought his story of being religious and saving themselves for marriage, since the wedding was so soon. Like an idiot, she thought he was shy, or that he was sincere.


    His taste in food was disgusting, his obsession with sports jerseys as wall decor was revolting, and he had less conversational skills than the average house cat. She thought it was all normal, that all couples were incompatible to some extent. After all, it would be boring to live with a person¡¯s own replica. Michael had been polite, respectful of her career, and her family loved him.


    She showered, put on a pair of comfy jeans and t-shirt, and headed to the hospital. Her parents were already there, and Pam was being wheeled out of her hospital room.


    ¡°I can walk. It¡¯s procedure, apparently,¡± she said apologetically. She handed Amelia her file. ¡°Picture of your nibling in there.¡±


    Amelia opened the file and looked at the ultrasonograph, the tiny head and stubby arms.


    ¡°Really resembles Adam, with the big head,¡± she commented.


    Her brother-in-law lightly punched her in the shoulder. ¡°I grew into my big head, okay?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll agree to disagree. Pam¡¯s good looks will have to make up for yours.¡±


    It was nice to pretend that nothing else was wrong. This isolated happiness, with just her family, felt nice. It was Pam and Adam¡¯s relationship that had made her so idealistic and naive. They met and married within six months, a simple wedding in a state park. They were nothing alike, but fit together like puzzle pieces. They worked to be good to each other, and their marriage worked. It convinced her that it was all people needed. Effort, understanding, and sincerity. Love would follow as a natural consequence.


    She had a flight to catch in the evening. It would be a fun time  in Santorini, albeit a lonely one. All of her friends couldn¡¯t get time off work on such short notice, and she didn¡¯t have anyone else to ask along.


    Positive thoughts, she thought, forcing a smile on her face. It didn¡¯t take as much effort as she thought. Her happiness for Pam and Adam was genuine, as was her excitement at becoming an aunt.


    ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll see you all in two weeks,¡± she said. ¡°Don¡¯t have too much fun without me.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re still going?¡± Pam asked.


    ¡°You know I¡¯ve always wanted to see Santorini. I¡¯m not gonna let a little thing like this get in my way,¡± Amelia said.


    ¡°Okay, stay in touch while you¡¯re there,¡± Pam said. ¡°And just fly back the second you feel like coming back.¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± Amelia said.


    She thought the opposite was true. A place where she was just another person, a stranger on the street, sounded tantalizing. If anything, she would want to set down her bags and settle in Santorini if she could. She could become a tour guide or sell jewelry or whatever else it was people did in touristy places.


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    ¡°Come back with a handsome Greek boyfriend?¡± Pam suggested.


    ¡°I¡¯ll come back with a tan. And maybe souvenirs.¡±


    ¡°You need a ride to the airport, hon?¡± her dad asked.


    ¡°No, dad. I have a friend driving me.¡±


    There was no friend, but she couldn¡¯t deal with an uninterrupted hour of time with her dad in the car. It was clear her dad was itching to talk about Holloways and the wedding. More importantly, he probably wanted to talk about their work together. She knew those discussions could wait a few weeks, but her father didn¡¯t want to. The sooner he could repay them for Michael¡¯s desertion, the happier he would be.


    Her suitcase was already packed at home, but there were changes to be made. She replaced the flimsy honeymoon lingerie her friend had given her with simpler, more practical underwear. She packed some more t-shirts and shorts instead of sun dresses. By the time her cab arrived, she was waiting at the curb in a comfy pair of sweats. Ten hours of flying meant she had to be comfortable, and premium economy was still economy.


    The airport was crowded, but she made her way to her gate quickly. At the gate, she could do nothing but wait. She¡¯d refrained from using her phone since the day before. Social media was full of messages she didn¡¯t want to read and curious people who cared more about the details of what had happened than how she was feeling. As an alternative, she took out her laptop and looked at her emails.


    She had always planned on working during the honeymoon. Now she would just have to work more to occupy the time. There were unanswered emails and deadlines to be met. She started reviewing a proposal written by one of the employees, when someone tapped her on the arm.


    ¡°It¡¯s time for us to board.¡±


    She looked ahead. It was the first class and business class passengers who were boarding. She looked at the fellow passenger next to her.


    ¡°Julian?¡±


    He was dressed for comfort like her. She¡¯d never seen him dressed casually. Usually he was in a dress shirt and slacks at least. The pale green polo shirt and shorts made him look younger. His dark hair was also cut shorter, and he had a pair of sunglasses folded into the collar of his shirt.


    ¡°I¡¯ve bought us both tickets in business class,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I talked to Pam yesterday. She was pretty sure you¡¯d end up going to Santorini alone, and asked that I come with you.¡±


    Pam didn¡¯t know Julian well enough to ask such a favor. None of their family did. He was the one most detached from his family. He wasn¡¯t even a groomsman in the wedding. He was just a few years older than Michael, but they weren¡¯t close. Amelia thought she¡¯d covered up her misery fairly well, but she must have looked bad for Pam to ask a relative stranger for help.


    ¡°If you¡¯re okay with it?¡± Julian continued. ¡°I understand if you want to travel alone.¡±


    The whole reason she was going on the trip was to not flush the thousands of dollars they spent on the honeymoon down the drain. To not lose perhaps her opportunity to finally see Santorini. However, she didn¡¯t want to be alone for two weeks, no matter how beautiful the surroundings were. She had traveled solo before, enough to know that it wasn¡¯t her thing. Julian wasn¡¯t the companion she envisioned, but he wasn¡¯t unpleasant. He was taciturn, but he wasn¡¯t insensitive. And it was a nice gesture, what he wanted to do.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± she said. ¡°I want the window seat, if we got one.¡±


    He nodded and handed her the flight ticket. He let her go first and


    When they settled into their seats and buckled in, she turned to him. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to upgrade my ticket. I would have said yes anyway. I don¡¯t like traveling alone, and you¡¯re not responsible for what Michael did. You don¡¯t have to make up for anything.¡±


    Julian nodded his head.


    ¡°That¡¯s good to know. I do feel responsible though. I know my brother, I should¡¯ve expected that he would do this. I wanted to come along, just to make up a little bit for what Michael did.¡±


    ¡°Just because you feel responsible doesn¡¯t mean you are,¡± Amelia said. ¡°Thank you for doing this. Pam shouldn¡¯t have asked you such a big favor.¡±


    Julian turned towards her, his fingers laced together.


    ¡°You¡¯re making me feel bad, being so nice. Pam didn¡¯t ask me to come with you. She said you might go alone, but it was more her worrying aloud than anything. Coming here was entirely my choice. Pam doesn¡¯t know I¡¯m here.¡±


    ¡°Why are you telling me this now?¡± Amelia asked.


    Julian smiled. ¡°I wanted to start off on the right foot, to be honest. Also, they just closed the cabin doors.¡±


    His smile widened. ¡°So there¡¯s no going back now.¡±

 Chapter 4

    ¡°I¡¯d like a mimosa, please,¡± Amelia said.


    ¡°Drinking two days in a row?¡± Julian asked.


    ¡°Care to join me?¡± she asked. It was weird sitting with him now. He was her companion for no reason. It was different when she thought it was suggested by Pam. She could think he was a nice guy indulging her sister and feeling bad about Michael¡¯s actions. Now, he was a weirdo who came up with the idea on his own, and hid it from her until the last minute.


    She was on a honeymoon trip with her ex-fiance¡¯s brother. The trashy soap opera wrote itself.


    ¡°Why?¡± she asked after downing her first drink. ¡°There¡¯s so many ways you can make up for what Michael did, if you feel responsible. Why decide on coming with me? You know there were other people I would rather go on this trip with. You know this is to some degree, going to be awkward.¡±


    ¡°I felt bad,¡± Julian said. ¡°You were stood-up at the wedding. I didn¡¯t want you having to do the honeymoon alone. That just seemed too much for one person to deal with in two days.¡±


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    It was understandable. He pitied her. It was exactly the thing she was hoping to avoid.


    ¡°I know what it¡¯s like, to feel that way,¡± Julian said. ¡°I¡¯ve gone through something similar. It¡¯s not at the same scale as you, but I went through it more times. I know what it¡¯s like to think another person cares about you as much as you care about them, and find out they don¡¯t.¡±


    She wanted to ask who it was, but it didn¡¯t seem the time to pry.


    ¡°I wanted to show you that someone will show up for you when you need them,¡± Julian continued. ¡°Even though I¡¯m not the person you want or need, I¡¯m something.¡±


    Julian reclined his seat while Amelia took the time to look out the window. As they agreed, Amelia had the window seat. She watched as the flight arched over the Atlantic and reached enough altitude to rise above the clouds. When there was nothing more to see, she turned around. Julian was sleeping. She wished she could fall asleep as well. The other night, she¡¯d been aided by alcohol and exhaustion. She was well-rested now, and the mimosas were watered down.


    Instead, she chose to open her laptop. She was slowly catching up to work, but what was more concerning was the email at the top of her inbox. It was a message from Michael.


    It was strange that it was an email, not even a text or a voicemail.


    Dear Julia,


    I¡¯m just messaging you to make sure you¡¯re doing alright. I¡¯m sorry for how it ended between us, but I hope this won¡¯t get in the way of work. I know you¡¯re a professional and can separate our personal life from this. I¡¯ll reach out to you in a few weeks, after our families have come to terms with this.


    Michael.


    If she wasn¡¯t on a plane, with sleeping people all around her, she would¡¯ve thrown her laptop. The audacity of the piece of garbage. And she had considered marrying him. He just wanted to reduce how much trouble he would be in with his parents when he eventually came back. If Amelia played nice, Michael¡¯s father might not fire him from their company. His concern and politeness was just a mask for self-preservation.


    Julian turned around in his sleep to face her. The two brothers were so different. Amelia had moved to her father¡¯s company after working independently for years. Michael had no other career outside of the family company. He had little ambition and no dreams.


    Each compromise had felt like just one thing, but altogether she had given up so much in her desire to please her parents and get married. Maybe it was because most of her friends were married, some having kids. It felt like she was falling behind in some way, and she hadn¡¯t liked the feeling. There was no one in her life, and so she¡¯d accepted the arranged marriage, and it was an arranged marriage at the end of the day, treating it like it was a project she could work on and make profitable.


    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    Julian mumbled in his sleep. He probably got less rest than he did. His family, to the best of her knowledge, didn¡¯t know where Michael was. Their side of the family would have been asking the same kind of questions as hers. Amelia¡¯s entire family would work together to get over the crisis, but with the Holloways, Michael was gone, Mr. Holloway was in denial, and Mrs. Holloway was too weepy to be of much help. So it was Julian who¡¯d dealt with the immediate fallout, found time to take care of her, and was now dropping everything because he didn¡¯t want her to be alone.


    She didn¡¯t even know what he did for work, what city he lived in, or why he was so distant from the rest of his family. Maybe it was better that he was so distant. He didn¡¯t really remind her of the rest of the Holloways, especially Michael.


    When the air hostesses came out with their meals, she woke him up.


    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ve been up all night. We had a lot of things to cancel on our end too. My relatives all had a lot of questions. Some were planning on staying for a few days after the wedding, and we had to book them new flights. I helped Rachel a bit with some stuff, too. She called while you were asleep yesterday, and I gave her my number.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±


    ¡°There wasn¡¯t much left to do. Rachel took care of most of it. She said everything was wrapped up, and she managed to get partial refunds for a few things. She said she¡¯ll give you the check once you¡¯re back from Santorini.¡±


    ¡°She knew I was gonna go?¡±


    ¡°Everyone did. You¡¯re very utilitarian, Amelia. Everyone who meets you sees it.¡±


    Amelia nodded. Some people might have retreated to their homes after a failed wedding. They might hole themselves up in a comfortable place and let their wounds heal with time. It was probably a better coping mechanism than hers. She was going to be thousands of miles and several time zones away from the people who cared most about her in the world.


    And she was being selfish, to a certain extent. Pam needed her at the moment. She had Adam, and their parents, but Amelia was her best friend. Amelia was her usual confidante when it came to all the things she couldn¡¯t tell Adam. She was just out of the hospital, and probably had a hundred worries she was hiding from Adam. A hundred worries she was hiding from Amelia too.


    ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re not married to Michael,¡± Julian said. ¡°You would have been miserable with him.¡±


    She knew that too. Amelia liked challenging projects, and that¡¯s what she thought Michael was. He wasn¡¯t a challenge though, he was a lost cause. Like an idiot, she¡¯d fallen into the sunk cost fallacy the further they went.


    ¡°It¡¯s a good thing in the long run,¡± she said. ¡°But it¡¯s a real bitch right now.¡±


    ¡°Did you love him?¡± Julian asked.


    ¡°I liked him,¡± she answered. ¡°I¡¯m seeing all the worst things about him now, since it¡¯s easier to. But he was nice, he was respectful, he trusted my judgment. As far as people go, he wasn¡¯t the worst. You know this whole marriage was just convenient. Our companies wanted to work together, our parents liked each other, we both were a good match on paper. My mom didn¡¯t say it outright, but she was starting to send me messages about good egg freezing clinics she knew.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s supportive, at least.¡±


    Amelia raised her eyebrows at him. ¡°It was passive aggressive. She¡¯d say things about how by the time she was my age, she had two kids in elementary school. That I must look so young because I didn¡¯t have kids.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were so negative.¡±


    ¡°It was part of the reason why I was okay with all of this. The rush for the marriage. For some reason, no one told me I was being an idiot. Maybe because this kind of thing works sometimes, for some people. All my friends thought I was doing things in this picture-perfect way. Maybe they thought it was love at first sight or some other bullshit. Michael was handsome, his family was nice, all of the wedding plans went off without a hitch. I was able to get a venue some people only dreamed of.¡±


    Amelia paused before continuing. ¡°It all seemed too good to be true. It never really was that great, though. I was having this great wedding, and I wasn¡¯t thinking about Michael at all. He was just ¡®generic husband¡¯, in my head.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault,¡± Julian said. ¡°You thought he was just as invested in this as you were.¡±


    ¡°I miscalculated though. I should¡¯ve seen that he had one foot out the door from the beginning.¡±


    ¡°No. Michael miscalculated. He had a good life ready for him, with a good partner. He threw it all away, because he thinks he¡¯ll be happier with Kate.¡±


    ¡°He might be happier with her,¡± Amelia commented.


    ¡°I¡¯ve seen this game play out a dozen times. Michael never wins.¡±


    Julian settled back into his seat and faced ahead. ¡°Michael¡¯s always had life set on easy mode. It¡¯s not his fault either. He was the baby, and my parents babied him. They got him everything he ever wanted, and he sometimes thinks the world will treat him the same way. He probably thinks that if he comes back and acts sorry enough, he¡¯ll still have a chance with you. Because mistakes happen, but where will you find another guy like him? He¡¯s not a bad person, but he might as well be.¡±


    Amelia wondered what would really happen if Michael came back expecting a second chance. Her father had a hobby of climbing, and there was an ice axe in the garage. Her mother was no doubt already maligning his reputation to the entirety of Buffalo and the surrounding suburbs. If he came back expecting anything, he was an idiot.


    ¡°Now, try to go to sleep. We should be well-rested before we land in Athens.¡±