《The Cold's Embrace》
Chapter 1.
¡°I just don¡¯t like the idea of you being so far away,¡± Mark sighed.
Sophie took a deep breath, not wanting to rehash this. She rubbed her hands together before quickly putting them back on the wheel. It was a cold winter and even with the heat on high in her shitty rental car the Alaskan cold was still sleeping into her bones.
¡°It¡¯s only a few months, then I¡¯ll be back,¡± she replied.
¡°I don¡¯t see why I can¡¯t come with you,¡± Mark sighed again.
¡°Because you¡¯re not gonna find a job out here, it¡¯s the middle of nowhere and I know you¡¯re not a fan of the cold,¡± Sophie replied, a little more harshly than normal.
Mark clenched his jaw. She knew him being ¡°let go¡± was a sore spot. But he definitely wasn¡¯t going to find a new job in remote Alaska while she was running around tracking polar bears.
¡°I can find work anywhere, I just worry about you being out here all alone.¡±
¡°I won¡¯t be alone, I¡¯ll be with the leading team of experts in polar bears and this region. I couldn¡¯t be safer,¡± she replied, her nails digging into the wheel.
¡°But we don¡¯t know those people, how can you trust them?¡±
¡°Oh look, we¡¯re almost there,¡± Sophie replied rather than continue this discussion. She tapped on the paper map in her lap and pointed to a sign only half obscured by ice.
Some would say it was crazy to fly to Nulato Alaska and drive into the wilderness to go hiking in the dead of winter but she had a wanderlust for the outdoors. When Mark had suggested it she had leapt at the opportunity, not only to dip her toes into the proverbial ice but to hopefully win Mark over. The latter was not going so well. At least not yet.
They weren¡¯t in fact almost there, they still had a few hours of driving through icy twisting roads, most of which lacked any sort of marking. But Sophie was pretty good with a map, even without GPS the old paper variety worked just fine.
It was only an overnight trip, certainly not the longest adventure she had gone on. She had dragged Mark on a few overnight trips before. But never this far north and not during the winter. It was a new experience she was really looking forward to.
She wasn¡¯t particularly concerned, she had followed all the safety rules. Checked and double-checked the weather, shared their plans with her family, brought plenty of water and the essentials, and brought warm enough clothes and a first aid kit. Still as always with these sorts of adventures, there was a buzz of nervous excited energy.
It was after lunch when they finally pulled to a stop. They had left early enough that they would make it to their camping spot before it got dark.
Snowy mountains stretched on into the distance with valleys of evergreen trees. People often biked these hills in the summer, something that sounded exhausting. It was truly an amazing sight and Sophie took a deep breath of fresh air as she stepped from the car.
Mark opened the trunk and pulled out their bags. Sophie¡¯s was a large camping backpack that was well worn with use, Mark¡¯s far smaller and far less worn. Despite the fact she was rarely ever able to get him to come on these trips she always appreciated having the company when he did. Hiking alone was a bad idea and Mark always got irritated when she went with other people.
¡°You ready?¡± Sophie asked with an excited smile, her breath sending fog through the air.
¡°Totally,¡± Mark replied, with an equally enthusiastic smile that on second glance was somewhat strained.
She slipped into her large parka which she had for gone wearing in the car and pulled on her backpack. Taking a second to adjust to the extra weight she grabbed her tuque and stuffed her hands into large gloves. With the snow and the sun, it was the wind that would make them cold so wind protection was the most important part.
Mark looked equally goofy in his puffy clothes but that was a sign of successful preparation in Sophie¡¯s book. She adjusted her tuque which sported a NASA logo, her father¡¯s lucky hat he had given her years ago. ¡°Let¡¯s get going then!¡±
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Their boots crunched in the snow as they walked. They were moving slower than she would have liked, Mark was lagging behind. He seemed lost in thought and wasn¡¯t particularly chatty. Sophie didn¡¯t mind too much, she was more than content to just exist in nature.
¡°Do you need a break?¡± She asked him.
¡°I-I¡¯m fine,¡± he replied with a smile, his heavy breathing gave him away. Sophie raised a skeptical eyebrow but if he wasn¡¯t going to admit it then they could trek on.
She was nervous and the exercise was helping. She knew Mark didn¡¯t want her to take the job and even her family was a little skeptical. It would be a few months, much of which without an internet connection. Northern Alaska was a world away from Seattle, except maybe geographically.
But she loved the outdoors and bears were fascinating creatures. Not to mention all the useful information that could be gleaned from their habitat and behaviour. Sure there weren¡¯t gonna be any world-changing discoveries but it was important work and she was looking forward to it.
Mark did have some good points but being cooped up in Seattle was starting to drive her crazy. This was the perfect opportunity. Still, she felt bad for him, they had been together almost two years and disappearing for several months would not be easy.
He was a worrier, always concerned about her safety and well-being. But Sophie couldn¡¯t stay in the nest forever, she needed to fly.
The four hours of daylight went by incredibly fast. It was far darker than Sophie would have liked by the time they got to the spot they were planning to set up for the night. Despite it being a relatively easy and short hike, Mark had slowed them down and she wasn¡¯t in the best of moods.
¡°Make dinner, I¡¯ll set up the tent,¡± she sighed, slipping her backpack off.
¡°Don¡¯t tell me what to do,¡± Mark grumbled but acquiesced.
Sophie took a deep breath and stretched. It was a full moon and without the light pollution, the sky was beautiful.
Camping on the top of a hill was far colder and windier but the view was worth it. She approached the edge of the small cliff, careful not to get dangerously close. Still, a big enough drop to be dangerous.
It was a perfect spot and a perfect night. A clear crisp winter night. The smell of wind and forest.
After a few moments, her cheeks began to sting and she pulled her scarf up. The temperature was quickly dropping and she needed to make them shelter.
By the time the tent was set up, Mark had finally gotten the camping stove put together.
MREs were never as good as an actual cooked meal but they had enough salt and fat for them to be tasty enough and provide plenty of energy. Plus warm chilli was nice in the cold even if factory-made.
¡°I really don¡¯t want you to go y''know,¡± Mark finally said while they ate. ¡°I just feel like you¡¯re leaving me behind to go do this super dangerous thing.¡±
¡°I¡¯ll be back in one piece I promise. It¡¯s not like I¡¯ll be totally cut off the entire time. I mean¡ how can you not love it out here?¡± Sophie smiled, waving towards the wilderness around them.
Mark shrugged, ¡°it¡¯s cold, dark and full of dangerous animals. I¡¯m pretty sure I twisted my ankle on the way here and I can¡¯t feel my ears.¡±
Sophie bit her cheek both in annoyance and to not laugh in his face, ¡°Why did you even suggest this trip if you didn¡¯t want to go?¡±
Mark shrugged.
¡°Look at the stars, Mark, how can you not just find it all magical?¡±
That got a hint of a smile from Mark. The view was far too amazing even for the grouch.
¡°You know¡ª¡° Sophie began but was cut off by a howl. Carried by the wind, a low hoarse screeching made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.
¡°W-what was that?¡± Mark practically whimpered, looking around to try and gleam where the sound had come from.
¡°There are wolves out here,¡± Sophie shrugged, though her pounding heart disagreed with her explanation. Adrenaline coursed through her, making her feel both alive and terrified. A strange thrill that made no sense for such a sound.
¡°We¡¯ll put the garbage away from camp just in case,¡± Sophie offered, to appease the unease that hung in the air. Beyond breakfast for the morning and a few snack bars they didn¡¯t have much food but if there were wolves out there the last thing they needed was them getting close.
¡°Sure,¡± Mark replied, glancing behind the tree line before shaking his head.
Sophie stood and sealed the MRE bag with numb fingers. Eagerly putting her mittens back on, she glanced around. The lizard part of her brain was on high alert after the strange sound. She knew there was nothing out there but she didn¡¯t 100% know that for sure.
¡°So you¡¯re still just gonna leave?¡±
¡°Mark, why do we have to keep rehashing this?¡± Sophie sighed, staring up at the stars.
¡°Because I don¡¯t want you to go,¡± he replied, the frustration clear.
¡°I want to go, Mark. You still need to finish your last semester and find a new job, once I¡¯m back we can figure shit out. It¡¯s only a few months. I¡¯m not gonna change my mind about this,¡± she sighed.
¡°Why do you never listen to me!¡±
¡°I do listen to you Mark, I just don¡¯t have to do everything you want,¡± Sophie replied, her voice rising as she turned around to face him. ¡°Just because you¡¯re insecure about your own life doesn¡¯t mean you can control mine.¡±
The push came so suddenly that Sophie had no idea what was happening until she was already falling. Her hands grabbed at the air as she stumbled, the snow not granting her purchase as she fell backwards over the cliff.
The wind swept her up, deafening her as she dropped. Time seemed to slow as her mind raced with panic. Falling with nothing to stop her. She didn¡¯t even have the thought to scream, too stunned to truly react as she fell. Crashing through the branches and leaves of the trees below.
The drop hadn''t seemed so far from above yet somehow she was still falling. Was this it? Was her life going to flash before her eyes? Mark had pushed her. That finally clicked. Mark had shoved her over the cliff to her death. She was going to die.
Her body slammed into the ground below. Pain radiated through her as her body ejected the air in her lungs painfully and something cracked. By some miracle she was still conscious, the snow had cushioned her fall. Still, everything hurt, she couldn¡¯t bring herself to move let alone focus her eyes.
Sophie waited for something to happen, anything. But nothing did. She just lay there, her brain spinning.
Mark had tried to kill her. She was lying at the base of a cliff in remote Alaska. The only other person in the area was Mark. Mark had tried to kill her.
She blinked, looking up at the cliff above. Movement of a head disappearing over the edge. Mark had tried to kill her. Maybe he hadn''t, maybe he hadn''t meant for her to fall. Maybe he would come running to help apologizing and freaking out.
But he didn¡¯t. Maybe he thought she was already dead. Maybe he didn¡¯t care. It was so dark down here, the light of the stars drowned up by the leaves. She still couldn¡¯t bring herself to move.
A screeching howl cut through the wind, a stormy call of something out there. Tears slid down her cheek, she was going to die.
Chapter 2.
It was so dark. Sophie could only see the outline of her hand in front of her face.
The rest of her while seriously bruised and battered was at least in one piece. The exception was her leg. Bent at an awkward angle as she had hit the ground. The shock had drowned out any pain, at least temporarily. But she wouldn¡¯t be walking any time soon, maybe even ever again.
Just the sight of it made her feel ill. The wind was picking up as she forced herself to her side. A mixture of whimpers and pained hisses escaped her lips.
Sophie had no idea what she was supposed to do. For all her planning she hadn''t considered being pushed off a cliff. Her bag was on the top of the cliff, presumably where Mark was.
Even if she had the energy she wouldn¡¯t have called out. Let him come back and finish the job.
One word kept ringing in her mind. Why, why, why, why? What the fuck had she done to deserve being pushed off a cliff. Was her wanting to take this job seriously worth trying to kill her? She had known Mark for years, he¡¯d been her boyfriend for almost two, never had this seemed possible.
Everyone who had ever watched a cop show was that when someone died it was almost always the spouse but¡ this was¡ unreal.
It hadn''t even been a playful or reluctant push. She had turned around to see him with a determined expression as she shoved her in the chest. His face burned into her mind.
She was so cold. The Alaskan night was draining what little warmth she had. The wind was picking up, the light was gone, and some strange animal was out there. Even if she could see she couldn¡¯t get back to camp, she couldn¡¯t climb up a steep hill let alone stand up. Not to mention she would have to hike around the small mountain.
Sophie was stuck in this valley with nothing but her clothes and a granola bar tucked in her pocket. She brushed her hair from her face, forcing down the feelings that began to rise. If she packed she was dead.
Her tuque was gone, vanished into the night and swallowed up by the trees. She didn¡¯t have time to focus on such stupid things.
Shelter, she needed shelter or she was going to freeze. Where she was was too open, what heat she had was quickly stolen by the wind. She crawled further into the trees, pain radiating up her leg with every lurch.
A fucked up leg was of little importance if she froze to death tonight. She pulled her hood up and pulled her scarf tight to preserve what warmth she had.
Crossing the tree line was a relief, the air still bit at her lungs but the wind didn¡¯t howl quite as much. Everything was outlined, shadows in the dark. She felt numb, from the cold or shock she didn¡¯t know.
People died in their sleep, that¡¯s how the cold killed. First, you went numb, then you went mad, and then you slipped into peaceful slumber never to wake again.
Sophie already felt numb and exhausted. At least she was fairly certain she had a sound grip on reality.
With great effort she pulled herself under the branches of a pine tree, using her mittens to dig a hole haphazardly. It was the best she could do without light; snow was a good insulator, and the tree would also help.
She cursed with pain as she rolled over, shuffling into the makeshift shelter. Her leg was fucked.
Sophie refused to cry, if she let panic overtake her then she was screwed. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She just needed to make it to daylight, then she could¡ what?
Crawl a several-hour hike through the hills to get back to the car? Crawl up to the camp?
Her breathing shuddered, and tears stung at her eyes. There was no way to even call for help out here. That was why you always went with a buddy. Except Mark had fucking tried to kill her.
She sniffed, wiping away any tears and snot on her face before it froze. The cold here was far harsher than Seattle or anywhere in Washington state.
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A windy screech echoed through the trees. The something out there had gotten closer. Cold shivered through her bones, the heat suddenly torn away from her. Sophie curled closer, trying to protect her fragile self with what little she had. Her heart pounded in her chest, her fingers becoming numb as the blood retreated from her extremities.
She blinked, her eyelids briefly freezing shut. It felt too cold to breathe, the temperature suffocating. Her body urged her to get away, to move. This strange response to something she wasn¡¯t entirely aware of.
She strained her ears, listening for anything. The night was still a clear beautiful night but the forest was haunting. Somewhere close snow crunched, something moving. Or maybe not, maybe it was just snow falling from the trees.
Something breathed nearby, a heavy hollow breath that could have easily been the wind itself. But the glowing eyes which watched her from the darkness were definitely not the wind. It moved, tall and powerful. Shadows obscuring everything but the shape. The height of a bear, the horns of a moose, the predatory aura of a wolf.
Just as quickly the eyes were gone, and the shape was gone just as fast. The suffocating cold seemed to recede. Maybe it had been nothing more than a squirrel, curious as to what this human was doing in the woods. Her mind was her own worst enemy in the dark forest.
The wilderness never got to her like this. But she was freezing in the dark. Panic still lingering, she searched for anything. The shapes of the forest were not a comfort. Then she saw a strange shape not a dozen feet from her. It looked¡ like a bag. How had she missed that?
A flair of hope lit within her as she forced herself to crawl. This time she hardly noticed the pain, her attention focused on the shape. Pleading with the universe for it not to be a weirdly lumpy piece of snow. Her mitten collided with it, and the plastic sound of fabric made her shudder with relief. It was a backpack, not hers but a backpack.
It was heavy, she could barely pull it. But she needed to get back to her makeshift shelter. After struggling she managed to roll it, a clunky and painful motion but it got the job done. She shuffled her way back into her hole and fumbled with the backpack. Unclasping the straps that held the top part closed.
Her priorities were simple, heat. Her hands lacked finesse, numbed by the cold and shock. She could only pray there were matches or a stove. Matchboxes were small, and not likely to be in the big compartment. She struggled with the zipper of the top, unable to get a grasp with her large mittens.
Frustration and tears building she pulled one off and with a shaky hand finally managed to grab it, zipping the top compartment open. It was so dark, she could barely see the bag itself let alone what was inside. She couldn''t feel her hands enough to even use touch.
She shook the bag, the violence and exertion of energy providing some relief to the coiled stress and panic inside her. A small box slipped out and landed in the snow. She had set enough campfires to know that shape. Sophie fumbled with the box, pulling off my other mitten to use what little dexterity she had. It was a matchbox.
Slipping it in her pocket she put my mittens back on. She just needed fuel for a fire. The one benefit of such a cold winter was that it was dry. Sophie grabbed one of the branches on the pine tree and jerked it against the grain to tear it free. It took several tries for her to get it but it was her only option.
Using her good leg Sophie pushed snow away from her makeshift shelter. She put the branch she got on the ground and realized this was not going to work. She tore away a few smaller branches, each jerk sending pain shooting through her leg but after a few minutes, she had a little pile.
Sophie pulled her mittens off and grabbed the matchbox. Her fingers were too stiff to hold it effectively. She pressed them over her mouth and blew warm air into them. Sophie just needed a little mobility. She opened the box and tried to pick up a match but her fingers couldn''t grip it.
It was almost comical in a horrible way. She had matches, she had kindling but Sophie was too cold to light a fire. But she couldn''t let herself die out here, she couldn''t let Mark get away with killing her.
Sophie unzipped her jacket partially, stuffing her hand into her armpit to try and warm them up as much as she could. It didn''t do much, her whole body was cold but it was something. The painful tingling in her fingers was something.
After a few moments, and after a few calming breaths, she tried again. This time she had enough dexterity to pick up the matches. Her hands were shaky, it took several attempts for her to hit the right angle and then. Light.
The brief burst of flame and smoke immediately shrank to a smoulder but it worked. Sophie brought it to the branches, mentally willing them to light. But the branches wouldn''t catch fire.
¡°Come on you stupid fire,¡± she growled, trying again. Pressing the match against the wood and past the needles. The flame extinguished. She cried out in frustration. She needed proper kindling. What did she have?
Her hat was gone, and her mask was soaked with her breath. Mark had the newspaper in his bag he used to light the fire. Fuck fuck fuck.
Dinner, they had eaten dinner. She rummaged through her pockets, praying she had stuffed a paper napkin in her pocket. There was no garbage out here, you carried everything out with you. So maybe¡ maybe¡ she grabbed something papery and pulled it out of her pocket. It was a paper napkin.
She shakily tucked it under the branches and fumbled for another match. Her hands had gone numb and weak. But she managed to pinch one between her hand and thumb.
¡°Fuck,¡± Sophie cursed, unable to hold on tight enough to light the match. She was so close. ¡°C¡¯mon, c¡¯mon, c¡¯mon.¡±
After what felt like an eternity it blazed to life. She quickly put it against the paper and it caught immediately, a faint light in the darkness, a small puff of smoke.
¡°Please work, please work, please work,¡± Sophie repeated as she used her hands to protect the fire from any wind. Her mantra seemed to work, the branches began to burn. Her fire grew and crackled. Quickly she tore another small branch from the tree and added it. Ensuring it had enough fuel.
Maybe she wouldn''t die out here after all.
It didn¡¯t take long for Sophie to have a proper fire. Now she just needed to stay warm. As her body eagerly absorbed the heat Sophie began to push more snow around. Increasing the height of the walls around her. The less heat that escaped the better.
She was exhausted but she couldn''t sleep until she knew her fire wouldn''t go out. With the matches safely tucked away she pulled out her emergency snack, a protein bar that she never expected to have to use in an emergency. The only food she had, she inhaled it with gusto. She was lucky that she liked to snack on her hikes.
Sophie hadn''t put her mittens back on, instead, she kept them close to the flames. It was almost painful but it was better than being numb.
When she was sure the fire wouldn''t go out she lay back and curled close to herself. She was alive and she wasn''t on the verge of death, she was now painfully aware of how worn her body was. The cold, the fall, the stress, it all weighed on her heavily. It took her no time to fall asleep.
The last thing she noticed before she drifted off was a pair of eyes watching her from the dark.
Chapter 3.
It took Sophie a minute to recognize where she was. She was exhausted, if not for the crunch of snow below her or the smell of smoke she would have just gone back to sleep.
When she opened her eyes it all came rushing back. Mark had pushed her off a cliff. She had almost frozen to death. And that thing¡ that was out there. Scratch the third one, despite the unease that lingered in her memory it was probably just her panicked mind playing tricks on her. Or it was a bear or a moose that had wandered by, wondering what a human was doing all the way out here. She had yet to encounter anything actually strange. At least that''s what she told herself.
It was a crisp and sunny day, which meant it was cold. Sophie sat up groggily and hissed at the pain in her leg. She wouldn''t be walking any time soon, the ambient throbbing was incredibly unpleasant. Her fire was smouldering, down to a few coals.
She ineffectively pulled another branch free and after snapping it in half added it to the fire. The tree was running out of branches within reach. That and she had no food or water.
All advice told her to stay calm and stay put. She was¡ more or less calm and in no condition to go anywhere. Yet help wasn''t coming. At least not yet. The plan had been for her and Mark to stay the night at a hotel and catch a flight tomorrow morning, arriving in Seattle that afternoon. At best, someone would notice she was missing tomorrow night.
While she wasn''t in the middle of nowhere she wasn''t particularly close to civilization. Rescue would not come quickly, especially not if Mark interfered. She felt ill. She needed to somehow survive days out here while she couldn''t even walk.
Sophie felt utterly lost as the day began to tick by and her hunger grew. She ate some snow to stay hydrated but she had no food. Going to the bathroom was a very painful experience with her leg as it was. The entire situation was absolute shit. But she had fire and warmth. She couldn''t bring herself to leave it. She only had a vague idea of where she was, her only option was to stay put.
By the time the sun was high in the sky, it was snowing. Sophie had forced herself to move, to find what suitable branches she could so she would have a supply of firewood. It was not an effective process, most branches were too sturdy for her to tear away. Often her mittens couldn''t find purchase and she ended up just tearing all the needles from the branch. Still, she kept the fire going.
As the day passed the snowfall became harder. Sophie¡¯s visibility was reduced as the world was quickly blanketed in white. Her saving grace was the cold, had it been wet it would have extinguished her fire. Instead, the tree above her protected her from the wind and snow.
The light began to fade far too quickly for Sophie¡¯s comfort. The short Alaskan days were so much more demoralizing than ever before. Sophie was famished, her stomach growling and cramping unpleasantly. She was in a foul mood.
It was one thing to miss breakfast but by now she had missed three meals and with the cold and exhaustion it was adding up very quickly. She couldn¡¯t even scavenge, not only physically unable to but the snow smothered any plants that could even be edible. The worst part was how calm it was, even with the worsening snowfall it was quiet beyond the wind. No city, no cars or planes, no people shouting or arguing, no animals she could even try to catch to eat. For once the calm of the forest was a nightmare.
It was just her and the cold. She was so tired.
Despite the fire, it was hard to stay warm. Her body had no energy. The wind had picked up, there was no denying the snowstorm that raged around her. The fire was dancing, struggling to breathe against the icy winds. The world became dark too quickly but the wind did not die down.
Sophie added one of her dwindling branches to the fire and took a tired breath. The eyes were back, she was sure of it. They were watching waiting. For what she didn''t know.
Her leg didn''t hurt anymore and the cold wasn''t as biting. She added another branch but didn''t curl up beside it. She was almost out now, and the fire still hadn''t recovered. The night had only begun.
She wasn¡¯t blind. Her leg should have hurt. She should have been freezing. But she was just tired. Too tired to panic. The cold was almost pleasant in a way. A soft blanket of nothing. She wasn''t even hungry anymore.
She blinked her eyes open trying to stay awake. She did need to keep the fire going after all. But the branches were so far away and her body was so heavy. She was just tired. A tear slid down Sophie¡¯s cheek. She didn¡¯t want to go to sleep. As easy as it would be this would be a different sleep.
The storm howled around her, everything was black but the fire. The only source of dim light in this void of darkness. She pulled her legs closer and hugged herself. If she stayed awake she would cry and staying away was already hard enough.
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If she had the energy to keep her eyes open she would have seen it approach. The light snuffing out was enough to catch her attention. A lump of snow had fallen through the trees and smothered what had been left of her fire.
Sophie let out a shaky breath. She had failed.
Eyes watched her from the other side of the smothered campfire. It simply sat there, it made no noise. It wasn''t until it took a windy breath that Sophie could even be sure she wasn''t alone.
¡°W-who are you?¡± Sophie croaked, struggling to part her lips due to the ice that had formed on them.
It said nothing but it did move. It was big, the only clue was the movement in the darkness. The shadows bent as they came to her side. She could barely make out a form. The long limbs and the large horns.
Sophie started to cry. She didn''t have the energy to sob, but a pitiful noise escaped her nonetheless. She had no more energy to fight.
It simply sat there, keeping her company. Sophie briefly met its gaze. Her eyes were so heavy, she couldn''t even make them focus. She couldn''t make out any details but a shape and those eyes. What did it matter anyway?
She let her eyes close. Something pressed against her cheek. Long and sharp and ever so cold. She didn''t have the energy to open her eyes. Sophie let herself drift off, it was the easiest decision she had ever made.
Sophie smelled dust and mould. The air was thick but warm. The heat felt strange in her body. All the sensation had returned to her body. Like she had been thawed out. She was famished.
She blinked her eyes open and frowned. It was dark but she could make out¡ stone above her. She sat up, her muscles wincing in protest as her breath caught in her throat. She was underground. The tunnel stretched onward, supported by old wooden beams. Sophie was in a mine.
A fleshy snap and tearing sound made her spin, her leg protesting painfully. On the floor lay a deer¡ well the carcass of one. Its stomach was cut open to reveal its innards. What really drew her attention was the thing crouched over it, it''s back to her. It was pale and tall, its limbs too long. It looked¡ starved, Sophie could see its ribs, and its shoulder blades seemed to stick out of its back as it picked at the carcass with large claws. It was crouched down on digitigrade legs that were just as human as¡ something else.
A messy braid ran down its back and two large horns protruded from its head, both adorned with what seemed to be charms.
Sophie absolutely didn''t want this thing to turn around. Whatever comfort it had brought her in the dark did not exist when she could see such a thing. Her involuntary whimper at the sight caught its attention.
Its head turned in her direction. It had a skull for a face. Sophie couldn''t hold back a scream. Her body screamed at her to run and she really tried. But with a useless leg, all she succeeded in doing was falling on her face. Still, she scrambled back, desperate to put distance between her and this thing.
She glanced back to see it reaching towards its head¡ then it took off the skull and Sophie met its gaze. The same dark eyes that had watched her in the dark. It took her a second to catch up with what she was seeing. It¡ she didn''t have horns, it was an adorned helm. Other than a loincloth she was also very naked excluding several charms she had braided into her hair.
¡°Wha¡¡± was all Sophie managed.
The¡ woman held out a chunk of flesh between two talons. It could have been interpreted as a friendly gesture, but Sophie wasn''t so sure it was.
When Sophie didn''t act the woman dropped the piece of meat in her mouth revealing sharp teeth and a long tongue. Sophie¡¯s heart pounded in her ears, what was she supposed to do?
¡°Come, eat,¡± the woman hissed.
While food sounded great right now, everything else seemed like a bad idea. The fact that the food was freshly killed and raw deer wasn''t particularly enticing.
¡°Who are you,¡± Sophie asked, still not moving any closer.
The woman chuckled, ¡°I have lots of names.¡±
Sophie nodded slowly. That was entirely unhelpful. The woman didn''t seem entirely human yet she spoke English clearly, even if it was with an accent. Sophie couldn''t place it.
¡°My name is Sophie,¡± Sophie offered. ¡°Um¡ thanks for saving me.¡±
The woman glanced up from her meal and smiled. ¡°It is not often I play favourites, but who am I to take vengeance from you?¡±
¡°Vengeance?¡±
¡°The man who pushed you. Meat may be scarce but I am not against sharing, not when there is poetry involved.¡±
¡°Ok,¡± Sophie replied, not having any idea what the woman was talking about. But one thing was certain she knew about Mark.
Anger bubbled within her, cold and sharp. The fucking bastard. Now was not the time to be processing what had happened. But when she got home she was going to get his ass thrown in jail, hell maybe she should just push him off a cliff and see how he liked it.
The woman was practically grinning at her now. ¡°There it is, the heart of ice. I knew I wasn''t wrong.¡±
Sophia couldn''t decipher that either. Her stomach growled. ¡°What¡ what should I call you then?¡±
¡°You would not speak my tongue. Humans call me¡ the Howling One. it is¡ a bit¡ pompous,¡± she snickered.
Sophie didn''t even recognize the laugh that bubbled up from her throat. She still didn''t know what to make of this woman. A woman with the personality of what Sophie could only imagine as a hyena, who was perfectly comfortable totally naked in the Alaskan cold. The fact the Howling One wasn¡¯t¡ human wasn''t lost on Sophie but she didn''t have the capacity to process that right now.
¡°Now eat,¡± the Howling One repeated, waving her over and slicing another chunk of flesh from the body.
After a moment of deliberation and Sophie¡¯s grumbling stomach, she slowly crawled forward. ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you have a firepit?¡±
The Howling One cocked her head. ¡°Why would I want to burn perfectly good meat?¡±
¡°I mean¡ it will make me sick if I eat it raw,¡± Sophie shrugged, feeling embarrassed under the woman¡¯s stare.
¡°It is a fresh kill, it is safe to eat,¡± the Howling One huffed indignantly.
Sophie let out a breath. ¡°But what if it has parasites or something?¡±
¡°I offer to share and you insult my skills as a hunter,¡± the Howling One smirked, a gesture far more threatening than maybe it was intended.
¡°No-no¡ I just¡ Did you by chance grab my bag?¡± Sophie asked, looking around. The small cavern they were in was mostly empty. The floor was stained red with blood in several places and there were plenty of bones scattered about of all different kinds. Sophie did a double take and dread curled through her when she noticed the human skull. Not one, but several.
¡°That bag I left for you?¡± the Howling One asked. ¡°If you want to make a fire I have plenty of supplies in the next cavern. I am sure you can find what you need.¡±
¡°Oh¡¡± Sophie replied. She had a horrifying feeling that the Howling One hadn''t raided a lost and found.
Chapter 4.
The Howling One swallowed another chunk of deer and licked her lips. Sophie was having a hard time breathing. This thing¡ ate people. The Howling One ate people. She was people. The Howling One was going to eat her. Whatever brief illusion of comfort she had found was shattered.
¡°What are you freaking out about?¡± the Howling One asked, sawing at some sinew with her talon.
¡°Y-you eat humans,¡± Sophie stuttered.
¡°I eat what is available, meat is scarce,¡± she shrugged, as if Sophie¡¯s concern was misplaced.
¡°I don''t want to be eaten!¡± Sophie yelled, the building anger of this whole experience finally coalescing.
The Howling One leaned forward with surprising speed. Sophie couldn''t get back fast enough as she tapped a talon over Sophie¡¯s heart. ¡°You have a heart of ice, Sophia. You are only as human as you want to be.¡±
The Howling One was way too close to comfort. Sophie had known she was big but this was different. The Howling One was at least eight feet tall and crouched over her; she was very intimidating. Hello, nipples.
It wasn''t her proudest thought but she was freaking out. The Howling One¡¯s reassurances didn''t make her feel much better. What did that even mean? Her mind was too scattered to make sense of things.
The Howling One leaned back on her haunches with a sigh.
Sophie tried to crawl away but put too much pressure on her leg making her swear in pain.
¡°You are badly injured, would you like me to help?¡±
Sophie didn''t know what to say. So she settled on the truth. ¡°I¡ I don¡¯t know if I should trust you.¡±
¡°Why would I rescue you only to harm you?¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Sophie mumbled.
The Howling One muttered something to herself and returned to her deer. Eagerly digging into its flesh. Sophie¡¯s stomach protested at the fact she hadn¡¯t eaten anything.
Trusting the Howling One seemed like a bad idea and yet¡ What choice did she have? If the Howling One wanted her dead she could just kill her. Sophie couldn''t even walk. In fact, the only way she would survive was if the Howling One helped. God, it really was a pretentious name, wasn''t it?
Maybe the Howling One needed a nickname. The Howling One sounded intimidating but¡ Howly didn¡¯t. A cute nickname already made the Howling One seem less intimidating. Maybe she was just losing her mind.
¡°Can I call you Howly?¡± Sophie asked.
The Howling One glanced up at her with a look of disinterest. ¡°Humans have been giving me names for centuries, what does it matter?¡±
¡°I uh¡ don¡¯t want to call you something you don¡¯t like,¡± Sohpie shrugged.
The Howling One cocked her head and squinted at Sophie for a moment. ¡°Howly is acceptable,¡± she finally replied.
Sophie smiled. See already far less threatening.
¡°Can you say ¡®Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn¡¯t fuzzy, was he?¡¯¡±
Howly sighed. ¡°Will you come and eat if I do?¡±
¡°Yup,¡± Sophie replied. The thought of raw meat wasn''t appealing but this was definitely helping her get over her fear.
¡°Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn¡¯t fuzzy, Wuzzy?¡± Howly repeated the best she could before snarling in annoyance. Sophie couldn''t stop herself from laughing. ¡°I am glad you are amused,¡± Howly huffed but Sophie caught a glimpse of a smile.
Sophie scooted forward, a ridiculous memory the perfect defence against survival instincts. ¡°How come you speak English anyway?¡± Sophie asked, staring down at the deer carcass, her appetite suddenly gone. She wasn''t that hungry.
¡°I carved out a man¡¯s tongue and ate it,¡± she replied matter-factly.
¡°W-what?¡± Sophie stuttered.
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¡°Do not fool yourself into believing humans know anything about the world,¡± Howly sniffed, tearing something jiggly from the deer. Sophie looked away as her stomach lurched.
Sophie by now had very much noticed a pattern of Howly¡¯s answers making absolutely no sense.
¡°Eat,¡± Howly ordered, holding up an oozing chunk of flesh.
Sophie forced back a gag. ¡°I¡¯d really rather cook it.¡±
¡°Fine fine,¡± Howly grumbled and stood. ¡°Are you going to crawl after me or would you like me to carry you?¡±
¡°Uhh¡ carry me please,¡± Sophie replied with embarrassment. She hadn¡¯t been eaten so far and there was no way she was going to crawl after Howly.
Howly crouched down beside her and slipped an arm under Sophie¡¯s knees. Sophie shivered, Howly was shockingly cold to the touch. Her cold hand pressed against Sophie¡¯s face was a foggy memory, Howly seemed like the cold incarnate.
¡°Wrap your arms around my neck,¡± Howly ordered. Her breath created no steam. Sophie did so and Howly picked her up. It wasn¡¯t really the bridal carry Sophie had expected. Howly was big enough that she simply tucked Sophie against her chest.
Howly was gentler than expected but the motion still hurt. Sophie¡¯s only complaint was that Howly seemed to radiate cold, but it wasn¡¯t as penetrating as it was with her bare skin. And the fact that Howly was absolutely getting blood on her clothes. Actually, that one was far more upsetting.
¡°Why are you so cold?¡± Sophie asked instead of complaining as Howly carried her deeper into the cave. The dim light grew fainter.
¡°Why is your world so horribly hot?¡± Howly retorted with a short.
Would it kill her to give a straight answer? Her cryptic answers just made her uneasy. She was some kind of monster, apparently not from ¡°this world¡± and could learn languages by eating someone¡¯s tongue. None of it made any sense. Most of all was the fact she ate people, something that terrified Sophie. Cannibalism was pretty up there with stuff not to do. Granted it wasn¡¯t really cannibalism if Howly wasn¡¯t human. Sophie didn¡¯t really want to continue that trail of thought.
Yet this woman, who was clearly a vicious predator, had only been gentle and more or less kind to her. Why? What the hell had made Howly decide not to eat her? Taking pity on her seemed unlikely. Too good to be true. If food was scarce then Howly couldn¡¯t afford pity.
Howly carried her around a bend and stepped under a wooden beam into another chamber. There was barely any light in this one. Sophie could only make out vague shapes.
Sophie felt herself being lowered down and she braced to meet the hard stone. Instead, she found herself on something soft and vaguely¡ plastic. Pulling off her mittens she felt below her, it was a sleeping bag.
¡°I will turn on the light,¡± Howly said, standing and moving away. A moment later there was a click before the room was illuminated. Howly was squinting uncomfortably at a lantern she had turned on.
¡°T-Thanks,¡± Sophie replied, looking around.
The room was smaller than the last. Howly had set Sophie down on what she realized was a nest. A collection of sleeping bags and furs all wrapped up together. Unlike the previous room, this one felt far more¡ human. Supplies were piled everywhere. Lamps, tents, matches, empty water bottles. In one corner was a pile of backpacks. This was Howly¡¯s hoard, all of the human belongings she had collected.
Yet it was clear she used them. A foldable table had a comb and a windup radio on it. It was¡ cute in a horrifying way.
Howly gave Sophie a lingering look before putting the lantern down and crouching beside a pile of stuff. Rummaging through them before pulling out a first aid box.
¡°You will have to undress,¡± Howly said, crouching down beside Sophie and opening the kit with a bloody claw. That could not be sanitary.
¡°I uh¡ your hands are kinda dirty,¡± Sophie pointed out.
¡°Fine, you do it then,¡± Howly huffed, despite the growling undertone Sophie didn¡¯t think it was meant to be threatening.
Sophie took the first aid kit and began the long process of removing her snow pants. Howly stood and ducked out of the room, disappearing out of sight. Sophie didn¡¯t even notice until Howly was gone. Being alone was far scarier than anything else.
¡°She¡¯ll be back,¡± Sophie said to herself, as she shimmied out of her snow pants. Every shift and jerk sent pain flaring through her leg. Getting the snow pants over her ankles and her boots off was the worst part.
She took several deep breaths wiping the sweat from her brow. The pain was far too severe for this to be some minor. She felt somewhat dizzy. There was no way she was going to be able to take her jeans off.
On second thought, maybe closing her eyes for a minute and waiting for the room to stop spinning was a better idea. She gasped to try and get her breathing under control. Her leg really fucking hurt, all the movement had aggravated it.
¡°Let me do it.¡±
Sophie failed to hold back a shout, she hadn¡¯t even noticed Howly''s return. ¡°Fuck! You scared the shit out of me,¡± she cursed.
Howly wrinkled her nose.
¡°Not literally, you just scared me,¡± Sophie grumbled, apparently sarcasm went over Howly¡¯s head. ¡°I don¡¯t think I can get my jeans off,¡± she finally admitted.
¡°I will cut them off,¡± Howly said, raising her talons. Apparently, she had been able to clean them somewhere. Still, she wasn¡¯t sure she wanted those massive claws near her presumably broken leg. ¡°I will be gentle.¡±
¡°Ok,¡± Sophie acquiesced, what choice did she have?
Howly''s claws were scarily sharp and she began to cut away her jeans with ease. It still hurt but being able to just lie back and breathe did wonders.
The back of Howly''s cold hand traced up her thigh making her shiver, not entirely from the cold. She hadn''t really considered how much of her would be exposed. Howly repeated the motion with Sophie¡¯s other leg and pulled the jeans away.
Sophie began to shiver. The cave wasn¡¯t warm by any means and a jacket didn¡¯t do much when all she had was underwear and socks from the waist down.
The sight of her leg however was distraction enough. Her foot was effectively loose in her skin. Her leg was broken just above the ankle, the skin dark purple and swollen. She felt sick. She really shouldn¡¯t have been moving as much as she had. But she hadn''t had a choice and so simply put up with the pain. Who knew how much worse she had made it? Her only saving grace was it hadn''t broken the skin.
The blood was still inside her body which was more or less where it should be.
¡°Look at me Sophie,¡± Howly ordered.
Sophie forced her gaze away from her fucked up leg.
¡°Close your eyes and take a deep breath.¡±
Sophie did as instructed, as least as best she could. The cold was getting to her, goosebumps ran down her legs. Her teeth chattered. She guessed she was probably going into shock again, that it wasn¡¯t just the cold.
She felt Howly drape a blanket over her.
¡°Take a deep breath.¡±
Sophie did which turned into a whimper as Howly briefly touched her leg. She dug her nails into her palms to stop herself from moving.
¡°Both your tibia and fibula are broken,¡± Howly somehow deduced.
¡°How can you be sure?¡± Sophie panted.
¡°I like to read,¡± Howly replied.
The image of Howly hunched over some medical textbook made Sophie snort despite how insane it was. The pain was definitely getting to her.
Howly pressed the back of her hand to Sophie¡¯s forehead. Sophie hissed, it was painfully cold but it was anchoring.
Howly grabbed the first aid kit and zipped it open. She pulled out a bottle of pills and handed them to Sophie. Painkillers, nice, expired, less nice but unlikely to be a problem. She took double the recommended dose and gagged while trying to swallow them dry. A sacrifice that would have to be made.
Howly on the other hand had pulled a splint out of somewhere and was in the process of bending it to fit her leg. She really did seem to know first aid, which was strange but Sophie wasn''t going to complain.
¡°Just get it over with,¡± Sophie muttered when Howly stopped to look at her. Howly nodded and got to work, Sophie bit down on her jacket to stop from crying out as Howly readjusted her broken leg.
Chapter 5.
The painkillers had done their job, and Sophie felt like a cloud. After Howly had set her leg and wrapped it in gauze with the splint to hold everything in place she set up a small camping stove so Sophie could eat some deer meat. Sophie found it amusing to see the giant Howly hunched over a comically small camping stove trying to make it work.
Howly briefly left and returned with a Tupperware of innards and two filled water bottles. While the meat was somewhat bland, after what felt like days without eating Sophie had no complaints as she eagerly popped a grilled something in her mouth.
¡°So um¡ where are we?¡± Sophie asked.
¡°In the mines. The human town of Nulato is that way,¡± Howly offered, pointing towards the cave wall. It didn''t help Sophie orient herself any more than knowing they were most likely in the Nulato hills somewhere still.
¡°Oh,¡± was all she could think to say. She really had no idea where to start a conversation, the brain fog wasn''t helping. There was one thing on her mind. ¡°Can you help me get there?¡±
¡°To the human town?¡± Howly asked, cocking her head.
¡°Yes, I need to get home so my family doesn¡¯t think I¡¯m dead.¡±
Howly made a strange purring growl sound. ¡°You can barely crawl and it is not a short journey. You would not survive even with my help.¡±
¡°But I can¡¯t just stay here, Howly. My family needs to know I¡¯m ok, Mark can¡¯t get away with this.¡±
Howly smiled, an eerie malicious grin. ¡°He won¡¯t, I promise. But right now you need to rest.¡±
Sophie took a shuddering breath. Howly observed her for a few more moments before searching through a pile. Eventually returning to Sophie with something clutched in her claws.
¡°My lucky tuque,¡± Sophie said, taking it and slipping it on. Howly had found her tuque. ¡°Thank you.¡±
Howly nodded. ¡°I like¡ collecting things,¡± she offered. Sophie swore she seemed almost embarrassed.
¡°My dad got it when he started his job at NASA. He gave it to me when I graduated high school, I¡¯ve worn it ever since,¡± Sophie smiled.
¡°It is¡ sentimental.¡±
¡°Yeah.¡±
¡°You have seen my crown, it serves the same purpose.¡±
¡°The skull you wear?¡±
Howly nodded. ¡°An old friend. Died a long time ago, shot by hunters.
¡°Oh¡ what kind of friend?¡± Sophie asked. Maybe it was rude, but she was too curious to help herself.
¡°A companion,¡± Howly replied after a moment of deliberation.
¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry.¡± Maybe Howly wasn¡¯t intentionally dense. The more Sophie spoke with her the more it seemed she wasn¡¯t as fluent in English as she had seemed. In the same way, Sophie could technically speak French but it had been so long that she was very rusty.
Howly shrugged, ¡°That is the tragedy of love. They were a good hunter though.¡±
¡°Well¡ I guess it¡¯s a nice way to remember them,¡± Sophie offered. She wasn¡¯t sure if being turned into a hat actually was, she didn¡¯t think she would want to be a hat. The image made her chuckle. The painkillers were definitely getting to her.
¡°You should rest, you need your strength,¡± Howly said.
¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Sophie retorted halfheartedly. She was exhausted, the fact she hadn¡¯t passed out from having her leg set had honestly surprised her.
Howly clicked off the light and crouched beside her. A long claw tilted her head up to face Howly¡¯s silhouetted shape. ¡°The more you rest the sooner you go home.¡±
Sophie¡¯s heart pounded, both in nerves and excitement. She had seen the same claws rend meat from the bone with ease. Yet irrationally part of her wanted to lean into the icy touch that would certainly burn her skin.
Before Sophie could make up her mind Howly was gone. She hadn''t even seen her leave, Howley''s silhouette had simply faded until Sophie couldn''t even be sure she had ever been there.
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She pulled the blankets closer, careful not to jostle her leg. Howly had a point, and if she stayed awake any longer she was going to overthink the whole ¡°being lost underground in the mines in total darkness¡± thing.
Sleep, however, did not come, at least not peacefully. Her mind could only replay those last few moments on the cliff. The push, Mark¡¯s cold determined gaze. It was both unreal and far too real at the same time. She was used to sleeping beside a body but it had been that body that had tried to kill her. She wrapped her arms around herself nervously. How was this her life now?
Eventually, she managed to drift off, her dreams were no more kind. Her sleeping mind was ever more creative with the ways Mark could kill her. She tossed and turned as much as she could with her leg as it was. At some point, she awoke, a scream echoing through her mind as dreams blurred with reality.
She felt exhausted, her leg throbbed with pain. She was sweaty and thirsty. Worn out from restless sleeping. She sat up and fumbled through the air, trying to feel for the camping light. After embarrassingly long she finally managed to find it and turn it on.
Sophie took a deep breath. She didn''t have the energy to deal with the emotions rolling through her. She grabbed the pain medication and gulped some down the rest of the water bottle Howly had left. Needing a distraction she looked around and pulled a pile of camping supplies towards her to sift through.
Rummaging through a camping bag she found a set of water-damaged playing cards. Another bag had a few magazines. Nature, fashion¡ and porn. Sophie¡¯s ears warmed as she realized just what she was looking through.
¡°You would be surprised how many pictures of naked people you humans carry around,¡± Howly rumbled with amusement, making Sophie jump and stuff the magazine under the blanket.
¡°H-Howly,¡± Sophie laughed weakly, ¡°good morning.¡±
Howly nodded, ¡°How are you feeling?¡±
¡°Can¡¯t complain I suppose,¡± she shrugged.
Howly looked at her skeptically, ¡°You are¡ too pale.¡±
Sophie shrugged, ¡°I took more pain drugs.¡±
Howly sat beside her and handed her a full water bottle. Sophie eagerly drank more.
¡°I will have to hunt today,¡± Howly informed her.
¡°Already?¡± Sophie asked, there seemed to be plenty of deer left yesterday.
¡°My¡ appetite is greater than yours,¡± Howly replied with a smile.
¡°Oh, ok,¡± she replied awkwardly.
¡°I will be gone a long time, I have nothing to calm Mother and the skies are¡ angry,¡± Howly explained.
Sophie didn''t bother asking what that meant, she was just glad Howly was telling her more. Even if it made no sense, maybe that was for the best.
¡°I uh¡ need to use the bathroom,¡± Sophie admitted.
Howly nodded, ¡°Let me look at your leg, then I will take you.¡±
She lay back and motioned for Howly to go for it. Howly did so gently. Revealing dark purple skin underneath, Howly¡¯s nose flared.
At the sight of the massive bruise, Sophie felt light-headed and decided to stare at the ceiling rather than her fucked up leg. ¡°At least it''s internal. That''s where the blood is supposed to be,¡± she offered, trying to lighten the mood.
Howly didn''t reply and wrapped back up her leg.
This time when Howly picked her up Sophie still braced for the burst of pain, thankfully the splint did its job. Howly¡¯s body still leeched the cold from hers but Sophie¡¯s full bladder was a surprisingly effective distraction.
Howly carried her once again through tunnels, Sophie was fairly sure they were going up. Eventually, she could hear the wind and after turning a corner there it was. The crevice in the rocks was too small for Howly to carry her through but there was a bigger problem.
Holy fucking shit it was cold. Apparently, the skies being angry meant a blizzard because outside of the cave was a wall of white.
¡°I uh¡ I think I¡¯m gonna need your help.¡±
The experience of peeing in a snowstorm was not one Sophie ever wanted to repeat. It was painful, uncomfortable, embarrassing and really cold. Needing Howly to hold her up only made things worse.
After wiggling back through the cave entrance Howly carried her back. Sophie¡¯s teeth were chattering and she was shivering badly. She eagerly buried herself in blankets the moment they were back.
¡°Perhaps hunting can wait,¡± Howly offered, sitting beside her. She was clearly worried about her but considering Sophie couldn''t even go to the bathroom by herself she didn''t want to be left alone either. Regardless of how hungry she was.
¡°C-Can you p-play c-cards?¡± she shivered and grabbed the deck of cards.
Howly cocked her head. ¡°Teach me.¡±
¡°Go fish,¡± Howly rumbled with a smile.
Sophie sighed and drew a card. There were only so many rounds of ¡°go fish¡± Sophie could play before her brain turned to mush. Not to mention her hunger was only growing.
In, what she guessed was three days, all she had eaten was a granola bar and a little deer meat. While she had water her stomach was becoming increasingly insistent.
Howly seemed fine, but predators usually didn¡¯t eat consistently. Sophie assumed Howly was used to not eating. She didn''t want to beg for food, not when Howly had already done so much for her. But she would need to eat and soon.
All of this resting let her mind wander. Howly had a tendency to be cryptic and Sophie had nothing to do except try and puzzle through things. She didn''t want to ask too many questions, she didn''t want to open a Pandora''s box. Still, with such a creature in front of her, it was impossible to resist.
¡°You said I have a heart of ice, what does that mean?¡± Sophie asked.
¡°Did you not feel it? Murdered, left to be claimed by the cold in the dark of night. I sat with you,¡± Howly replied. ¡°4 of hearts?¡±
¡°Wha¡¡± Sophie began trying to decipher that as she begrudgingly handed over her 4 of hearts. ¡°What does that mean though? Am I¡ dead?¡±
Howly shook her head. ¡°You think of life and death as black and white. You are on the border, not of my world and not entirely of the human one. You have a heart of ice but it may thaw or¡ perhaps you will embrace the cold.¡±
¡°How do I¡ choose? What even are the choices?¡± Sophie frowned, putting down the cards. This conversation had taken a turn she wasn¡¯t expecting. Now she didn¡¯t know how to feel.
Howly was starting to seem far less¡ safe. Something far more than the kindly forest creature. Yet Sophie couldn¡¯t put her finger on a reason why. But the energy had changed.
She was scared, not the abject horror of their first meaning. But an undercurrent of unease, the feeling on the back of her neck that there was something more sinister going on.
¡°There is no choice, Sophie, you are recovering and then you will make the journey back to your people,¡± Howly sighed, looking up from her cards with a sad smile. ¡°Your heart will thaw.¡±
¡°Have you ever¡ saved anyone before?¡± Sophie couldn¡¯t help but ask.
¡°You should rest, you are still not well,¡± Howly said, standing.
¡°Have you?¡± Sophie demanded, unease crawling through her.
Howly reached for the light but paused to look at her. ¡°Yes, a long time ago. He was a good hunter.¡±
Then the light clicked off, and she was gone.
Sophie barely slept. When she did she dreamed of falling, the screams of the dreaming a cruelty of her own mind. Howly had not given her comforting answers, and being awake brought no more comfort.
Four days, by now it had been four days. It was a miracle she was even alive. But the hunger was getting to her. That and her injury left her tired and weak. She needed food, she needed to go to a hospital. She needed to get Mark thrown in jail. That was almost as bad as her starvation or broken leg, he was walking free despite what he had done.
When she got home, she would make him pay.
Chapter 6.
Something peacefully cold shook Sophie awake. How she was overheating she wasn''t sure but she was sweating buckets. She blinked her eyes open as she grabbed the cold thing.
Howly looked down at her, Sophie¡¯s fingers wrapped around her hand. Her head hurt, actually most of her body did.
¡°You are ill,¡± Howly stated.
¡°Fuck,¡± Sohphie croaked and winced at the soreness of her throat and the congestion in her head. Apparently starvation, a serious injury, and almost freezing to death didn¡¯t do her immune system any good. She felt like she had been hit by a bus. She pulled the blankets over her head to try and hide from the light.
¡°I need to see your leg, if it is somehow infected you will probably die.¡±
Cut right to the chase, why don¡¯t ya? ¡°Fine,¡± she grumbled.
Her leg seemed as fine as a broken leg could be, so maybe she wasn''t about to die. Small victories. At the very least feeling like absolute shit meant she wasn''t particularly hungry.
Sophie slept, she didn''t have the energy for much else. Howly brought her water. At one point even made her pine tea. Or she had hallucinated it from the fever. At some point, Howly brought her some meat. Small cooked pieces, Sophie didn''t pay much attention.
Fever dreams were not pleasant, mostly because they involved Mike. A damaged body and psyche were a bad combination. She kept jolting awake, her body thinking it was falling.
When she was lucid, Howly was watching over her uncertainty. She kept bringing her tea, food and pills. Slowly she was feeling better.
¡°I like your nose, boop!¡± she mumbled, trying and failing to poke Howly on the nose as Howly took the empty water bottle from her.
Howly placed her hand against Sophie¡¯s forehead. It was pleasantly cold and she leaned into it. She whimpered when Howly pulled away.
¡°You are¡ delirious, Sophie,¡± Howly sighed.
¡°I like your whole face,¡± she murmured into the blankets. The blankets were tucked back over her.
Sophie wasn''t feeling so out of it when she woke again. The light was on but it was dimmer. She was freezing now and pulled the blankets she had kicked off back over herself with gusto.
She had lost what little sense of time she had. The room had been rummaged through and Sophie¡¯s nest was far more. A tarp even covered the passage out. Howly had been decorating and sorting through things.
Then she noticed something, tucked into the nest beside her was a familiar stuffed polar bear. She picked it up and found a familiar burn on its head, leaving a patch of hardened melted plastic.
¡°Well hello Francis, how the hell did you get here?¡± she asked the toy. Francis had accompanied her to university and was her mascot when she went on hikes and trips just like this one. He had been in her bag. Which meant Howly somehow had her backpack.
She looked around, noticing a pile of backpacks she tentatively pulled herself closer. It was a slow and painful process but she had to know. After a few minutes, she found it. Empty of all her things. A deflated husk of her usual bag, but it had all the patches and pins that marked it as hers.
Sophie would have been happy to know her stuff was here if it wasn''t for Mark¡¯s bag lying below hers.
¡°Sophie, what are you doing?¡± Howly asked, startling her for the millionth time. How was she so quiet?
¡°Y-you have our stuff,¡± Sophie managed to reply.
Howly nodded.
¡°How?¡± She demanded.
¡°Your camp was not hard to find,¡± Howly offered
¡°But¡ How do you have Mark¡¯s bag?¡±
¡°Do not worry, I did not¡ steal your revenge,¡± she smirked.
¡°You let him go,¡± Sophie sighed.
Howly grinned with menace, her eyes practically lit up, ¡°I did not say that.¡±
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¡°Why are you always so damn cryptic?¡± Sophia growled.
¡°Force of¡ habit,¡± Howly snorted. ¡°¡®Mark is here, I did not let him escape.¡±
Exhilaration filled Sophie just as much as horror. She felt sad that the man she had loved for years was imprisoned somewhere in the caves, she felt anger at Howly for doing something so horrible. Yet a much more primal part of her was thrilled. He had tried to kill her, he deserved to suffer. She wasn¡¯t the one on the edge of the cliff anymore, he was in the lair of a monster, maybe two once she had figured out what she wanted to do with him.
She knew one thing, she wanted him to hurt.
¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± Sophie laughed with disbelief.
¡°You are in no condition to¡ do anything. It was going to be a¡ goodbye present,¡± she offered with a shrug.
¡°Why? Why have you done any of this for me? You could have let me die, you could have eaten me, you could have fuck I don¡¯t know. Why have you been nice?¡±
Howly sighed and leaned against the wall. ¡°Humans do not handle¡ otherworldly things with sanity. But some do¡¡± she said pointing towards Sophie. ¡°Maybe your blood is more than human, maybe you are just strong-willed, either way, you proved yourself, you gained the Cold¡¯s favour.¡± Howly let that be digested. ¡°It is¡ nice to have company.¡±
Loneliness, it was the most simple answer in the world. Howly was lonely. Sophie felt her heart break a little. Here was this giant starved and sharp woman, a monster of folklore and fiction, and she was lonely. All alone out here. Still, there was one thing that wasn¡¯t adding up.
¡°Didn''t you say something about your mother?¡± Sophie asked.
¡°You met her,¡± Howly shrugged trying to find the words. ¡°Mother Cold simply is, she is too¡ vast to¡¡±
¡°The cold?¡± Sophie frowned. Howly¡¯s mother was the cold itself?
¡°Your language is lacking,¡± Howly sighed. ¡°I am alone here,¡± she clarified.
¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Sophie offered.
Howly offered her a smile.
¡°Y¡¯know, assuming everything works out, I¡¯m going to be stationed even further north tracking polar bears. Maybe¡ I don¡¯t know, could we visit?¡± Sophie wondered. She felt weirdly embarrassed, like a kid who had made a friend at camp and didn¡¯t want to leave them behind.
¡°A tail as old as time itself,¡± Howly chuckled. ¡°A human finds something fascinating and cannot let go.¡±
¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Sophie laughed. ¡°I¡¯ve been here for days and we barely know each other.¡±
¡°Sometimes not knowing is better, especially for a warming heart.¡±
¡°Annnnd she¡¯s being cryptic again,¡± Sophie huffed.
Howly sighed and waved a hand, ¡°It does not¡ come out right.¡±
Sophie took a deep breath. ¡°What about Mark?¡±
¡°What about him?¡± Howly said, cocking her head.
¡°Like uh¡ are you going to kill him?¡±
¡°Me? I will do nothing but eat the body if there is even one left when you are done with him,¡± Howly grinned.
Despite the abject horror of Howly¡¯s words Sophie still felt her stomach flutter. ¡°I¡ I want to see him.¡±
Howly carried Sophie deep into the old mines. The only illumination was the lamp Sophie clutched. The air was dusty and damp, the mines had quickly lost any homely feeling as they descended.
The movement painfully jostled Sophie¡¯s leg but she clung tightly to Howly regardless. Her mind spun, what was she even going to do when she saw him?
She wanted him to hurt. But could she really bring herself to hurt him? Kill him? Did he even deserve that? She had lived after all. As much as she wanted closer she never wanted to see his face again.
After a while Howly slowed their pace. The first thing she noticed was the smell. Howly crouched under a low-hanging ceiling before entering a room. Without the lamp, it would have been totally dark.
Mark looked up at them with a terrified but weak expression. He was lying on the ground on the other side of the small room.
¡°Sophie,¡± he croaked with disbelief. He was pale and dishevelled. Much of his winter clothes were torn and shredded. He was caked in dirt and filth. Sophie would have felt pity for him if it wasn¡¯t for the expression that flashed through her mind, the memory of him pushing her.
Mark¡¯s gaze was far more focused on Howly. An expression of confusion and horror on his face. He had spent days in total darkness and this was not a comforting sight.
¡°You¡¯re alive?¡± he managed to cough out. He looked really unwell.
¡°You tried to kill me,¡± Sophie laughed weakly.
Mark¡¯s gaze darted to her and then away. It wasn''t that he was focused on Howly, it was that he was too much of a coward to look at her face after what he had done. Then he laughed, weak and dry, ¡°Considering what¡ our fate is down here maybe that would have been a kindness.¡±
Sophie followed his gaze to his leg, or more accurately the stump that remained. Bound in bloody bandages. No wonder he looked so horrible, Howly had cut his leg off. Sophie felt somewhat sick at the sight of all the blood. It only added to the emotions rolling through her. Yet her anger at Mark won.
¡°He tried to find the way out,¡± Howly hissed. ¡°We couldn''t have that.¡±
¡°Y-you¡ you can talk?¡± Mark blurted, somehow paling even further.
¡°Yes, I just ignored your¡ begging,¡± she grinned, revealing her teeth.
¡°Fuck you,¡± Mark spat.
¡°You tried to kill me,¡± Sophie growled. She didn''t even know what she wanted him to say. She desperately needed answers but she didn''t want them. She didn''t even know what she wanted. To know why he had done that? To get an apology? None of that would change anything.
¡°You were going to leave,¡± he replied as if that explained everything.
¡°So you decided to kill me¡ How long? How long were you planning¡¡± Sophie couldn¡¯t even finish the question as a lump rose in her throat.
Mark didn¡¯t look at her, just shook his head. More to himself than anything.
Sophie forced back a sob. ¡°Let¡¯s go, I¡¯m hungry,¡± she croaked through tears.
She didn''t miss the twitch in Howy¡¯s expression.
Realization swept over Mark¡¯s face. ¡°Wait!¡± he protested as Howly adjusted her grip on Sophie and marched out of the room.
¡°Wait! You can¡¯t leave me! Waaaaait!¡±
Howly ignored his begging, Sophie was too busy crying into her shoulder to care.
¡°I-I just don¡¯t understand why,¡± she whimpered as Howly rubbed a hand over her back.
¡°You will not find a ¡®why¡¯ that makes you stop hurting,¡± Howly said softly.
¡°I hate him, I hate him so much,¡± she cried.
¡°Sophie,¡± Howly cooed, at least that''s how Sophie understood her tone. ¡°Do not forget that you are the one going home. The one that will move forward.¡±
Sophie sniffed snottily into Howly¡¯s shoulder. They stayed like that in comforting silence as Howly carried her back to her room. She lowered Sophie down, careful not to hurt her leg.
¡°You should rest, you are still¡ weak.¡±
¡°Stay with me?¡± Sophie asked, not letting go.
Howly gave her a pained smile, ¡°I am¡ cold.¡±
Sophie shook her head and pressed a palm to Howly¡¯s cheek. ¡°I don¡¯t mind. Maybe you¡¯re just warming up to me.¡±
Something unreadable crossed Howly¡¯s face. ¡°I fear that is the case,¡± she replied, resting her hand over Sophie¡¯s. But Howly still acquiesced and sat beside Sophie.
She turned to rest her head in Howly¡¯s lap, pulling the blankets over herself. ¡°Thanks,¡± she mumbled as Howly brushed her hair from her face. She didn¡¯t mind Howly¡¯s cold temperature as much anymore, she was getting used to it. Not being alone was far more comforting.
Howly rumbled gently, a growling purr that Sophie didn''t entirely understand. Still, the comforting vibrations quickly lulled her to sleep. This time her dreams lacked the terror of falling or the face of Mark. Finally, she slept peacefully and considering how exhausted her body was she really needed it.
Chapter 7.
¡°I should confess something,¡± Howly sighed as Sophie sipped on the pine tea Howly had brought. She was feeling better after a restful sleep and with the pain meds, she barely noticed her leg. Unfortunately, they were running low. She had asked about food but Howly had abruptly changed the topic.
¡°What?¡± Sophie asked with a frown.
¡°When you were¡ ill I fed you. You were too weak to survive otherwise, too hungry,¡± she explained.
¡°Stop being cryptic, what?¡± Sophie sighed, but a sense of unease filled her.
Howly scowled, ¡°It was Mark.¡±
Sophie dropped the tea. The hot water scalded her leg and made her curse with pain. Howly was there in an instant, placing her icy hand on Sophie¡¯s thigh as she wiped away the tea. The only thing stopping Sophie from being entirely distracted by the pain and how close Howly was was what she had just confessed.
Sophie gagged and covered her mouth. ¡°You fed me his leg?¡±
Howly nodded and picked up the metal mug off the ground.
¡°Okay,¡± Sophie shuddered. She didn''t know what to do with that information. ¡°Uh¡. ok,¡± she repeated with a calming breath. For the millionth time, emotions seemed to whirl through her, her head felt like it was spinning.
Howly leaned down to her level, their faces only inches apart. Howly¡¯s eyes were dark and serious. ¡°Do you want more?¡±
Sophie couldn¡¯t bring herself to answer. Because the answer should have been no. It really should have been no. But now that the idea was in her head¡ The answer wasn''t entirely no. She could just have some¡ she could eat all of him, what better way to cement her own survival?
She and Howly could feast.
A claw under her chin drew her attention back to Howly. She seemed sad. ¡°I am sorry, I did not mean for this.¡±
¡°I¡ I don¡¯t understand?¡± Sophie managed to say.
Howly took a deep breath and took Sophie¡¯s hand. ¡°Look.¡±
Sophie did, it took her a second to realize what Howly meant. Her nails were blackening. It was faint, just beginning to grow in, but the base of her fingernail was black.
¡°My¡ magic influences the world, it is influencing you,¡± Howly explained.
Sophie opened and closed her mouth unsure of what to say.
¡°Your frozen heart is spreading.¡±
¡°How-how do we stop it?¡± Sophie finally asked.
¡°We take you home.¡±
¡°W-we can¡¯t, you said I wouldn¡¯t survive the trip.¡± Sophie didn¡¯t want to go, but she didn¡¯t dare voice that. Was that her own desire or was that part of this?
¡°Your heart will protect you.¡±
¡°How do you know?¡±
¡°I do.¡±
¡°What about Mark?¡± Sophie asked.
¡°I will¡ deal with him.¡±
¡°But¡¡± Sophie sighed.
Howly rested and a clawed hand on her cheek. ¡°It is time for you to go home.¡±
A tear slid down Sophie¡¯s cheek and she wondered how that idea could make her heart hurt so much.
¡°Can I at least come visit?¡± Sophie asked, her voice small.
¡°Sophie, you are between worlds, you cannot stay here forever. This is simply where the veil is thin.
¡°But¡ how am I supposed to just go home? How am I supposed to go on with everything being normal when the world isn¡¯t? I can¡¯t forget about this.¡±
¡°There is a reason our worlds should not mix,¡± Howly offered with a sad smile as she tucked Sophie¡¯s hair behind her ear.
Sophie pulled her close, wrapping her in a tight embrace, her nails digging into Howly¡¯s back. She did not want to let go, reason be damned. She tried to keep her hiccuping sobs quiet as Howly hugged her back.
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Eventually, she pulled away, swallowing the lump in her throat. ¡°Fine¡. But I need to kill Mark. I need to know he¡¯s dead and gone. One last meal¡ then you take me home.¡±
Howly seemed uncertain. ¡°You understand your mind is being affected?¡±
¡°You don¡¯t know me just as much as I don¡¯t know you, Howly. The craving for flesh is new¡ but I don¡¯t know if I could ever sleep soundly again knowing he might be back to finish the job,¡± Sophie offered with uncertain amusement.
Howly nodded. ¡°Let us feast then, tomorrow you go home.¡±
Sophie clenched her jaw and nodded. She had spent so long being weak, maybe Howly had really changed her but maybe it wasn¡¯t for the worst. Mark had taken advantage of her love, of her trust. He had betrayed her. Only one of them was ever going home, only one of them would ever have any power ever again. She wanted to destroy him.
Sophie stared at the camping knife in her hand, rethinking every decision she had ever made up to this point as Howly once again carried her. Was she really going to kill Mark?
Could she stoop to his level? Worse, eat him afterwards. Yet as horrified as she should be, the idea felt right, it felt comforting.
Maybe Howly was wrong. Maybe this was just who she was. Half starved, almost dead, but unwilling to die. Maybe this had nothing to do with Howly and everything to do with her.
Her nails could just be melanonychia, and her desire to eat Mark could be¡ well that one was less clear. But it felt poetic, it felt just. He had wanted to possess her, to control her. And he snapped because he couldn''t. Not to mention she was famished, it had been almost a week and she had barely eaten.
Her fingers tightened around the blade of the knife with determination.
Once again Howly ducked under the low-hanging ceiling they arrived in what would be Mark¡¯s tomb.
¡°You¡¯re back,¡± Mark spat, but he was not doing well. He barely had the energy to speak. Sophie felt no pity, if anything what she was going to do was a mercy. He wasn''t handling the lack of food, water, light and leg well.
Howly put her down along with the camping light before simply watching what she would do. Sophie had the feeling Howly doubted she would even go through with this, she would prove her wrong. Maybe she couldn''t stay but she would take what she could with her.
¡°Look,¡± Mark sighed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m so sorry.¡±
Sophie pushed herself to her knees, her leg sending blinding pain through her. But she didn''t need to see, she knew where Mark was.
¡°Sophie¡ I fucked up, so badly,¡± he continued. ¡°I really am sorry.¡±
Sophie lunged, her leg screaming at her but it didn¡¯t matter. She stabbed the toothed blade into his throat. Mark looked at her with wide disbelieving eyes as he tried to swallow. Blood oozing from his neck. Sophie sat back leaving the knife embedded in him as he weakly reached a hand up towards it, gurgling on his own blood.
She wondered if vampires were real, she felt like a vampire. All she wanted to do was lick up every drop of blood before tearing into his shoulder. She wanted to bite, she wanted to rend and tear. She wanted to consume him, body and mind.
Sophie raised a shaky hand and grabbed Mark¡¯s before he could grasp the handle. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you won¡¯t go to waste,¡± she absently told him. She was so very hungry.
A hand on her shoulder jolted her from her daze. She blinked up foggily at Howly who still towered over her even crouched down. Howly handed her the light. It took her a second to realize she had been asked a question.
¡°Do you want the stove?¡± Howly had asked.
Sophie shook her head, she wanted to taste him. She wanted to feel his blood between her fingers. She wanted to make a mess. She barely even registered it as Howly picked her up with one arm and dragged Mark behind back towards the surface.
Howly brought them to that first room with the bones and put Sophie down before laying Mark¡¯s body on a large rock. He was definitely dead by now. She watched with rapt fascination as Howly cut his clothes away. Using her talons to slice open his abdomen vertically before with powerful hands breaking his rib cage open. It was beautiful. Howly was clearly an expert.
Howly gutted the body, washing her hands in a small stream Sophie hadn¡¯t noticed the first time she had been there, how things had changed. Before she was scared to be eaten, but now she was the one eating.
Howly waved her closer with a bloody claw. Energy thrummed through Sophie. Something akin to arousal but it wasn¡¯t sexual, not entirely. Howly pulled something from the body, dripping with blood but clearly a heart.
¡°It was your kill,¡± Howly explained, holding it out.
Sophie eagerly took it, her hands becoming stained with blood. She didn''t hesitate to bite into it, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. It was wet and tough, and Sophie¡¯s teeth struggled to bite through. But she managed, like a juicy rubbery apple, she tore piece after peace away.
A small smile crossed Howly¡¯s face as she joined in. Claws slicing meat into precise strips. Teeth sinking into flesh.
¡°Here,¡± Sophie offered, breathing hard as she crawled forward and straddled Howly¡¯s lap, raising the rest of the heart up to share. Her veins felt alight with electricity, a strange high that felt utterly divine. This was victory.
Howly licked the blood off her wrist before swallowing the last of the heart with a pleased rumble. Sophie¡¯s blood thrummed. She had never felt so alive.
They took turns sharing a meal. The meat was warm and fresh. The tang of blood in the air and on their bodies.
¡°I¡¯ll miss you,¡± Sophie said, licking the blood from her lips, her breath heavy and her stomach full. She leaned against Howly''s shoulder, their clothes and body caked in blood. She felt the ennui returning, the realization this was coming to an end.
Howly wrapped a hand around the back of Sophie¡¯s neck and placed a kiss on her forehead. ¡°I am glad to have met you,¡± she purred.
Sophie swallowed the lump in her throat and looked up at her mysterious new friend. ¡°At least give me a proper kiss goodbye?¡±
Howly leaned close, their lips brushing together. Sophie closed the distance, wrapping an arm around Howly¡¯s neck as tears rolled down her cheeks. Howly tasted of blood and Sophie cut her tongue on her teeth, she couldn¡¯t care less at that moment. A fraction of something far greater that could have been.
When they finally separated there were tears in Howly¡¯s eyes too. ¡°I had¡ forgotten what it felt like to be cared about. Thank you, Sophie.¡±
Sophie nodded and pulled Howly close, too many emotions roiling inside her to form words.
¡°Rest now, Sophie. You will need your strength,¡± Howly murmured, rubbing a hand over Sophie¡¯s back.
¡°Please don¡¯t leave me,¡± Sophie whispered against her. At least for what little time they had left, she didn''t dare ask for more. She had grown to truly care about Howly. It was hard not to fall for the gentle giant who had nursed her wounds and cared for her. Shown her kindness when she needed it most.
She knew it was probably insane. To feel love in this moment after butchering and eating her boyfriend with an otherworldly monster. Maybe she had lost her mind. Maybe this was all a dream of a dying brain embraced by the cold. Either way, she wasn''t ready to go home.
¡°Goodbye little human, I am glad to have warmed your heart,¡± Howly murmured as Sophie drifted off to sleep.
The sun was painfully bright as Sophie blinked her eyes open. People were shouting, and something warm and wet was pushing against her face. A dog nuzzling into her.
¡°Over here!¡± a man called holding onto the dog''s leash, he wore a police uniform.
Sophie felt drowsy and exhausted. Everything was somewhat of a blur after that as people strapped her into things.
¡°The man who was with you? Your boyfriend, where is he?¡± The officer yelled over the helicopter hovering above.
Sophie just shook her head. It was probably best she never answered that question. All the blood on her would cause enough¡ there was no blood on her. How was that possible? Her leg wasn¡¯t splinted either and she was wearing the snow pants that Howly had torn through. She didn¡¯t understand.
¡°Well you¡¯re lucky a storm didn¡¯t blow through,¡± the officer added with a pat on her shoulder. Sophie hadn''t been paying attention to what he had been saying.
They had constantly smothered her in blankets all the way to the hospital. It was uncomfortably warm. The doctors poked and prodded, fed her food and got her rehydrated. She hated the taste.
Her leg was fractured, not broken, not anymore. In fact, the doctors were puzzled by how much healing had happened in the few days she had been gone. She didn¡¯t tell them anything.
The doctors did not find her heart frozen, Sophie wasn''t sure what to make of that.
Her parents soon showed up, offering sympathy, worry and optimism that they would find Mark and all would be alright. Sophie knew they never would.
The real world felt bland and gray, she felt hollow. Her meeting with the Howling One would leave her forever changed and Sophie was hungry.
Epilogue
¡°I just don''t like the idea of being so far away,¡± Bobby shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat.
Sophie eagerly tapped her fingers on the steering wheel of the shitty rental car. ¡°You know I have to do this. I can¡¯t let one accident control the rest of my life,¡± she sighed.
¡°I know, but why¡ where everything happened? Why not anywhere else?¡± he groaned.
Sophie sighed, she didn''t feel like rehashing this. It had been a year since she had been here. A fractured leg and an unstable psyche had meant other candidates had gotten the job chasing polar bears. Despite her victory over Mark, she had not come out unscathed, the fact she could never tell anyone the truth had only further frustrated her. He wasn''t an attempted murder, he was a poor missing hiker in the eyes of everyone but her.
She absently ran her fingers over her belly. She needed this, to go back.
Bobby was everything Mark hadn''t been. He wasn''t demanding, he wasn''t controlling, and he never made her feel small or stupid. Before everything that might have meant something.
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She pulled to a stop in the same place she had parked one year ago. She stepped from the car inhaling the cool air, it was a breath of fresh air from the loud polluted city.
¡°How are you not cold?¡± Bobby laughed, pulling his scarf tighter around his face as he unloaded their packs from the car.
Sophie shrugged and adjusted her lucky tuque.
Bobby put a hand on her shoulder, ¡°You really sure you''re up for this?¡±
¡°I¡¯m pregnant Bobby, not senile,¡± Sophie huffed, pulling her backpack on.
Bobby held up his hands in defeat but she could see the flicker of worry in his eyes.
The hike was harder than Sophie remembered but she was out of shape. She had gotten soft in the city. Despite her beating heart, it was peaceful. Bobby was chatty in a way Mark had never been, right now though Sophie found it impossible to listen to what he was saying.
He had ¡°always wanted to be a dad,¡± Sophie hadn¡¯t bothered telling him it wasn''t his. Sophie glanced down at her black nails which she usually covered with polish. Had she not been forever changed by the Howling One perhaps she would have convinced herself it was all a dream. But the pregnancy was too slow to be human and her nails had continued to grow into talons. Maybe it should have terrified her but she found comfort in it.
A purpose beyond the mundanity of life. To bring the Howling One into this world. Maybe she could not live in between words but she could still reunite them. She knew her heart had thawed, or else how could she feel so alive?
Cold wind howled around them and she clutched the hunting knife in her pocket. They would eat well tonight and they would grow big and strong.
¡°Soon my dear,¡± she whispered to the wilderness itself. She felt the cold embrace her as Bobby trailed behind her to his doom.