《Dark Alchemist : Lapis Cognitions》


 Instead of Prologue

    Allow me to collect my thoughts first. My name is Faustus Hawthorne, age 28, I am an alchemist serving under the crown of England. Or at least I was until the most recent events unfolded. Tomorrow I am to be executed for betraying Queen and Country.


    With the time I have left in this world I have written down a recollection of events that lead to this moment. This not a confession or admission of guilt. I merely wish to tell my own story in my own words while I still can and while it might seem unbelievable, I swear that every word is true.


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    The year is 3009. Not much remains of the world that was before. Long ago a war had taken place that buried the world in ruins and clouded the sky for decades to come. This marked the beginning of a new ice age. The world that emerged from the ruins was completely different than the one before it. A magical science called Alchemy emerged allowing the remnants of humanity to survive and rebuild. While the world is still largely trapped in ice humanity has found new ways to prosper because of Alchemy.

 3004/03/21

    I don¡¯t know how many days it has been. I feel as if I had been walking for entire years. Writing is the only thing that helps me stay sane in this frozen wasteland. I had taken the steam train from Paris to Munich. That was a week ago. For the past 7 days, I have been on foot. My destination? I¡¯m no longer sure.


    It¡¯s starting to snow again. I was lucky to find shelter in this alcove on the mountainside. All I see are white fields and trees. It¡¯s quite beautiful. Endless space - devoid of human life as far as the eyes can see. It''s peaceful here, with none of that city noise. An occasional bird, the sound of wolves at night. It¡¯s unsettling but quite majestic at the same time.


    I wonder sometimes if I¡¯m going to die here. Will I make it to my original destination? I feel have strayed hopelessly of course. I¡¯ve walked too far to go back, not that I would know the way to go. Will I die here? Never see London, my father, my mother. Why am I here? Why did I leave home? I guess I¡¯m a fool. But I have a dream that I want to fulfill. A sort of promise that must keep. I promised someone important to me that I would become an Alchemist.  Although when I made that promise I had no idea it would be near impossible.


    My father is a doctor. My grandfather was a doctor. The father of my grandfather was a doctor. I think you see what I mean. I too was going to be a doctor. But things changed. Let¡¯s just say my family wasn¡¯t too happy about my decision to switch professions. I cannot rely on them for money and Alchemy is not cheap to learn. So here I am in the middle of nowhere ¡ª trying to find a master alchemist who would take me on as an apprentice without money or any prior knowledge of the subject.


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    I¡¯ve been rejected so far by everyone I¡¯ve gone to. My last hope is some old story that I¡¯m not even sure is true. There are rumors about a famous alchemist who retired somewhere around here ¡ª away from cities and people. Somebody like that probably doesn¡¯t want to be found or disturbed. My last hope looks more and more like the last disappointment.  Besides, I might not even live long enough to find him.


    I left Munich with a caravan.  Three days of travel there was an avalanche. I ran, thankfully got away without getting caught up it. Unfortunately, I got lost soon after. The landscape changed because of the avalanche. While I tried to find my way back I somehow managed to end up further away. I¡¯ve lived in London my whole life ¡ªnever traveled further than the country house on the outskirts of the city. I should have expected as much.


    If I had been following my map correctly, I would have happened upon a town in a couple of days. It was supposed to be a two-week journey following the road. I still have food and provided the temperature doesn¡¯t drop any further I believe I should make it.  If not then this might be the last thing I¡¯ll ever write. It most certainly is if I don¡¯t get moving soon. I can barely feel my finger inside the gloves now. I have no means to make a fire unless I make it to the trees in the distance. I need to get there by nightfall

 3004/03/23

    I¡¯m in the woods now. I made a fire. There is plenty of wood to use. I was hoping to be sleeping in a bed tonight. I found the town that was on the map. At least I think so. Nobody has lived here in years. There are several wooden houses half buried in the snow. I¡¯m growing worried now. The further I walk the more I risk of wandering into uninhabited territory. Frankfurt is the furthest inhabited point in Europe. Everything beyond it was a frozen and uninhabited wasteland.  It¡¯s far too cold to live there.


    If I was following a road there would be clear signs of where to go. But since I¡¯m out here in the wilderness I can walk right past that point without knowing. I could be stuck here for the rest of my life.  I¡¯ll try to turn around and head back tomorrow. I hope I can still make it back to civilization.


    My sleep kept getting interrupted by sounds in the woods all night. I heard wolves and some kind of bird, I¡¯m not sure. I was too worried to go back to sleep. All I have to defend myself with is a knife but I¡¯m not exactly a skilled combatant. I began to doze off at some point in the early morning hours. I don¡¯t if it was a dream or something but I thought I saw you there, Eliza. I thought I could see you there just beyond the reach of the fire¡¯s light, standing there among the dark silhouettes of trees. I know it couldn¡¯t possibly be true. It must have a trick played on me by my tired mind.


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    The fire was out when I woke up and I was freezing. It was day but the snow was falling heavily and a wind picked up ¨C a blizzard. I was trapped in the ruins of this town. While the decrepit houses provided some shelter it was far from the protection of four solid walls. I focused on making a new fire and to keep it going all though the day. It was all I could do to keep myself warm and alive. My food had started to run low so I started to ration it. But you wouldn¡¯t believe how hungry cold can make you. I¡¯ve been melting snow and boiling it. I¡¯ve been drinking hot water to fill my stomach but it¡¯s not enough. I can¡¯t eat until tomorrow. Well at least I¡¯m warm.


    Thankfully the next day the blizzard had stopped. I could leave this place but going back now seemed an impossible task. I could find my back to where I was three of days ago but from there ¨C I¡¯d be lost once more. The blizzard no doubt buried all my previous tracks. Perhaps that is a good a thing because I¡¯ve been having this feeling that something or someone is following me. It might just be my mind playing tricks on me but on my second night in the ruins I once again thought I saw somebody there. I hope I¡¯m not going crazy from lack of food. Dying in this place already sound bad enough, I don¡¯t want to lose my mind here as well.


    I found an old half buried sign and stated going in the direction it pointed. Perhaps it leads to more ruins and perhaps not. If what I¡¯m walking on is in fact a buried road then there is chance it might connect to another road, perhaps a more used one. This gave me some hope that getting out was still possible.


    As if some sign of fate a Blimp flew past me. They use those here to carry cargo and people. They didn¡¯t see me but I know if I keep going in the direction it was headed then I will surely find civilization again.

 3004/03/26

    I can hardly believe I¡¯m still alive. For the past few days I¡¯ve been walking in the direction I saw the blimp go. The first day of travel was mostly uneventful.  However when night rolled around I once again had the uneasy feeling of being watched. It was probably all in my head. I feel tired, not just from the physically demanding conditions but my spirit grows weary as well. Like I mentioned before my financial situation is not great. If I survive this and return to London that will remain unchanged. Whether I find a master to train me in alchemy doesn¡¯t matter anymore. At this point I may not have much of a future to look forward to. Is survival really in best interest? It¡¯s these kinds of thoughts that kept me company in those dark evenings by the fire.


    It is probably not that strange that my mind would conjure some animal or beast stalking me.  However it¡¯s the events of following two days that really made me question my sanity and all that I know.


    On the second day after leaving the abandoned ruins I came upon a large clearing. The trees had been growing less dense for a while so I was certain I was nearing the edge of the forest. The clearing was a large open area with the trees continuing far on the other side. I had thought nothing of it and continued walking forward. Perhaps if had been more experienced I would have questioned why such a large area was devoid of not just trees but any kind of growth. However at the time I did not question things.


    I had walked to the middle of the clearing when a sound had reached my ears that at first I did not recognize. I thought it perhaps the trees rubbing together. It was only when I had reached a patch of clear and exposed ice that I realized what I was standing on. There was ice beneath my feet and beneath the layer of ice was blackness. I heard that sound again only this time I realized what it was ¨C the sound of cracking ice. Water stated pooling where my foot had been. I didn¡¯t know what to do. Running was a thought but with a heavy coat and backpack I wasn¡¯t exactly fast. Before I even knew it my legs were in the water. I tried to pull myself out but the ice beneath me broke and I fell face first into ice cold water.


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    This is the part where it gets confusing. I was certain I was drowning. No, I think I did drown in that lake. It was cold, my clothes became even heavier as they absorbed water. All this weight was dragging me down. I was not much a swimmer to begin with so I started drowning pretty quickly. I remember looking up at the light where I had fallen in. I must have been delirious but I thought I heard the sound of wings. I thought I saw your face, Eliza. Perhaps I was dead for a moment.


    Like I said I¡¯m pretty sure I drowned. However I woke up on the shore opposite of where I had started. Not only was I alive but completely dry. I know not what to think. My clothes and all the items in my bag were dry. Surely if I had been in the water there would be sings of it. The ink on my notes would be all washed out but it¡¯s not. I have no memory of how I made it across that lake. Did I pass out from exhaustion and have a nightmare? Am I losing my mind?


    I could barely sleep that night. The strange feeling of paranoia had overcome me. Was I insane or was there really some creature stalking me? Did someone pull me out of that lake or was the whole thing a dream?  If I cannot trust my own mind and senses than what can I trust?


    I spent the next day in my camp feeling too shaken to carry on. Writing down my thoughts does not seem to help make any sense of it. The more I think about it the certain I feel about what really happened. Perhaps it is best to not think of it anymore and carry on. I saw another blimp. There must be a town close by. I need to focus on what matters the most ¨C getting back to civilization. I can worry for my sanity later.

 3004/05/02

    I write these on my way back to London. I have failed in my quest to find a master alchemist. I had been so close, too. The village I had been trying to find was right there beyond the threes. The people found me in my camp and they were surprised I was there. I was saved! Not only was there civilization here but the house of the famous North Alchemist was not far from the village.


    My grasp of the language was not very good but somehow I managed to get across to the people that I what I was looking for. After sleeping in a bed for the first time in what felt like ages I went to the man¡¯s house. This is where my luck ran out. He was not home and would not be back for another two months. I didn¡¯t have the money to wait that long. Honestly I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to do once I get back.


    Somehow I still had hope that after making it all this way I would succeed but I failed. I had made a promise to become an alchemist. A promise I failed to keep. I did my best, even traveled to the edge of the world for it. Sometimes I wonder if my father had cursed me out of spite.


    I guess I had avoided talking, thinking or even writing about it. But her face has haunted my in the darkest nights here. Eliza. She had been my one true love. I said before that my father was a doctor. He was and is one of the best. Eliza was a patient of his, it was how we met. I t had been decided long ago that I would become a doctor like my father and grandfather. I wanted to at first. Before I even started my studies I was helping my father at the clinic, reading medical books and even tending to some of his patients as a nurse once I was older.


    She was lovely, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her smile made the room light up and the way she laughed was like music. I think I fell for her the first time I saw her just didn¡¯t realize it for a while. I wanted to make her well again; I swore to myself that I would.


    We would talk about things when I brought her food or medication. She wanted to become an alchemist, specifically one that worked with medicine.  This was the one area I had no knowledge of. My father refused to use medicine made with alchemy. I said before that he hated it but that might be an understatement. He didn¡¯t hire people who had any kind of alchemical background or even a positive view of it. I never really understood why. To be honest I never really wondered until I met Eliza.


    Her family was not very wealthy. They had tried several other doctors before. My father took her in because her condition was rare and difficult ¨C an interesting medical case. He did not ask for payment but he made it clear that would not use any alchemical medicines or treatments. Her parents agreed.


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    I began to look into alchemical medicines. Why was father so against them? I read research papers comparing effectiveness and there was either no difference or the alchemical medication performed slightly better than the regular kind.  It was not harmful to people so why did my father not use it? Why did he hate alchemy so much?


    I was in my first year of university at the time. I began to argue with my father over the treatment of Eliza. I decided that if my father was not going to do what was best for her than I would. I had come to know her well during her time in the hospital. She was so kind and caring; she loved children and often played with the younger patients there or read them stories. However her health was slowly worsening.


    One night I had come to check on her and found her crying. I had never seen her so sad before. She knew she was probably not going to live long, never going to have a family of her own, never fulfill her dream of becoming an alchemist. I could not bear to see her so unhappy. I confessed to her then that I had been in love with her and would do everything in power to make her dreams come true.


    Me and father continued to argue. I tried to take Eliza away from him and find her another doctor. I bought several alchemical medications and gave them to her in secret. I did my own research on her illness. Father found out and it didn¡¯t go so well. It had been the first time I had seen him this angry. He had never physically struck me before. I was removed not on from taking care of Eliza but no longer allowed in to the clinic. I still came to visit her on those occasions my father was not around.


    I proposed to her. It was clear that her sickness was progressing. Her parents didn¡¯t mind. She had been transferred from the hospital to her parents¡¯ house to spend what time she had left with her family. Ever since the incident I had not spoken to my father. It was only me, Eliza and her parents when we got married. She was too weak to get out of bed so we got married in the bedroom of her parents¡¯ house. I had acquired an old abandoned property I wanted to fix up for us to live in but two weeks after we got married Eliza died.


    I swore then that I would not be like my father. I believed that he was purposefully denying his patients medication that could be more effective simply because he hated alchemy. I vowed on her grave that I would learn alchemy and become a better doctor than my father. I failed to help Eliza but maybe I could learn alchemy and use it to help those like her, carry on her dream. It seems I have failed in that too.


    I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to find upon my return to London. I will not give my belief that Eliza could have lived longer or perhaps even cured if had not been so stubborn in his ways. I did what I thought was best for her.