《Forbidden Passions》 Session # 1: Amanda I love you. Three words. They look so small, and yet its impact is so enormous. When put together, these three little words create what many believe to be one of the most complex sentences in the English language. I love you. It''s a simple phrase, but can be vastly complicated depending on where, when and how it''s delivered. How someone responds to it, and even how fast or slow that response is, can be quickly perceived many different ways by the person who said it. I love you. Anyone who says that words are powerless hasn''t heard that phrase said to them enough in their lifetime. To hear anyone say those words to you, whether it be your mother, a child, or even your lover, most of the time that simple sentence will bring a warm sensation to someone body. When someone takes the time to express love, most of the time you can feel that love. The look in someone''s eyes, the smile on their face, and other gestures give the recipient signs that the statement is legitimate. It makes the moment that much more special if you appreciate who is making the endeavor. I love you. And then there are the other moments, when some people are not ready to hear that, and are caught off guard. They have that look on their face, like a deer caught in the headlights of oncoming traffic. They didn''t expect to hear that particular sentence and are dumbfounded and at a loss for words. Someone could be lighting fireworks off in the background and that person will not even notice, and the world as they know it has stopped and slowed down to a crawl. Everything feels like it''s moving in slow motion for both parties, and the next moment could be a moment of outright bliss, of a fucking train wreck. I said I love you. Unfortunately for Asher Jefferson, he was experiencing the kind of reaction that pretty much the aforementioned train wreck. There was a very beautiful woman sitting in front of him and saying those three words that should make everyone feel good inside, but he didn''t feel that way. He was stunned and even at a loss for words, with a blank look on his face as he if his brain was suffering from a critical error. If his brain was a computer, it was currently showing the blue screen of death and badly needed to be restarted. Did you hear me? Jefferson could see the emotion in her tone, as the lady standing before him was starting to take offense to his response, or in particular this case the lack there of one. He covers his mouth for a moment, and took a deep breath. There were several possible responses popping into his head, and he had only seconds to pick one and hope that it didn''t feel like he was dropping a grenade into the middle of the room without the pin in it. It was at this point, where Jefferson decided to mirror the lady for a moment and stall for time to think. "Yes," he finally replied, "I heard you, Amanda. I''ve always heard you." "Alright," Amanda said, deeply sighing herself. "And?" "And what?" Jefferson asked, still trying to stall. "And what?" Amanda repeated, "Are you going to respond to what I''ve just told you?" "Honestly," Jefferson answered, "I don''t know." "No answer is still an answer," Amanda retorted. "No answer is better than a bad answer," Jefferson argued. "Touch¨¦," Amanda said, showing a little frustration. "Why does this feel like I''m pulling teeth?" "This is complicated," Jefferson finally said, "What you''re suggesting isn''t appropriate. It''s unprofessional." "Unprofessional for whom?" she asked him. "For everyone," Jefferson said, "What you''re suggesting isn''t allowed. I hate to use the word, but it''s strictly forbidden." "Are you accusing me of being unprofessional?" Amanda asked. "No," Jefferson said, as he wasn''t eager to dig his hole any deeper, "You are being honest with me, and that''s what you''re supposed to do. If I respond the wrong way, I would be the one that is being unprofessional." "You don''t believe me, do you?" she then suggested. "I didn''t say that," Jefferson corrected her, as he now felt like he was walking through a minefield without a map. "All I said was that I loved you," Amanda repeated, "What is wrong with that?" "There''s a lot wrong with that," Jefferson said, as he needed to stand up for something that meant so much to him. "Such as?" Amanda demanded, eager to defend her hill. "You don''t know me," Jefferson explained, "Up to this point, our interaction has be strictly professional. It''s not possible to love me because you don''t know me personally. You''re in love with a perception of me that isn''t true. Trust me, I am not worthy of your love." If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it. "That''s a terrible thing to say," Amanda said, "I think everyone is worthy of love." "That might be true," Jefferson conceded, "But I''m not talking about love in general, I said your love." "Why is that?" Amanda asked. "It''s it our age difference?" "God, no." Jefferson said, "Age is just a damn number. I''ve date women younger than you, but I''ve also dated women older than myself as well. Age doesn''t dictate chemistry between people or how mature a person can be." "Then why not?" Amanda asked, as she kept digging. "Because I''m your therapist." Jefferson answered, "To accept your love is not only unprofessional, it''s a breach of ethical standards." "Says who?" Amanda said, frustrated by the direction their talk was taking. "We could start with the APA," Jefferson started, "That''s the American Psychological Association, as well as the medical licensing board that allows me to work in this state. It''s actually a criminal offense, and I could go to prison for accepting your love." "Are you serious?" Amanda asked. "I''m afraid so," Jefferson said, trying his best to be sensitive and yet remain professional. "It''s not uncommon for someone to develop feelings for the person who is helping them work through problems. You''re sharing intimate details with us that most people normally wouldn''t unless it was with a trusted partner. It''s very easy for people to start to admire and even love someone they have that much trust and compassion for. You feel close to me, but that''s not love. We know this and that''s why we can''t accept it." "This happens to you often?" Amanda asked. "More often than I''d like to admit," Jefferson answered, "To the point were we have a name for it." "What is it?" his patient asked. "It''s called transference," Jefferson explained, "Transference is when a patient redirects unconscious feelings to a new object, which in this case happens to be me. It''s not uncommon for a patient to transfer feelings that are meant for someone else, such as a parent or partner, onto a therapist who the person is in a professional, therapeutic relationship with." "What kind of feelings?" Amanda asked. "Every feeling there is," Jefferson continued, "Transference isn''t just about sexual feelings, as the feelings being transferred could sadness, anger and frustration. I once had a patient to transferred the anger he had towards his father to me because his father was dead and he had no other way to release the feelings and hostility that was burdening him." "Does this mean this love is meant for someone else?" Amanda inquired. "That I''m in denial by transferring it to you?" "I didn''t say that," Jefferson said, trying to be gentle. "It could be as simple as mistaking your feelings and misinterpreting them." "So you don''t believe I''m in love?" Amanda asked. "Probably not," Jefferson said, "You don''t know me. The person you are having feelings for is not the man I am." "What do you mean?" Amanda said. "You know nothing about me, personally." Jefferson explained, "and if you did, you might run for the hills like so many have before." "Is that so?" Amanda said, intrigued rather than disgusted. "You are not very kind to yourself." "Perhaps I don''t deserve kindness," Jefferson countered. "There you go again, Amanda observed, "Saying you''re unworthy of something that I think everyone should get." "That doesn''t make my statement less true," Jefferson said, enjoying their little banter. "Despite how good at my job I happen to be, I''m haven''t been the best friend, husband or even farther. I''m a flawed man, and you don''t get to see those flaws when sitting here. People often get an image that is cherry picked, and is an untrue image of the therapist who sits before them. You don''t love me, because the man you think you love doesn''t exist." "Wow, that was pretty deep." Amanda said, "You are seriously tossing yourself under the bus to save my feelings?" "I appreciate the thought," Jefferson said, "But you don''t know me." "Maybe I want to know you," Amanda declared. "I won''t let you," Jefferson countered, "I cannot do that because your therapy and healing is more important than what could be. I''m not willing to risk your progress and your mental health for something that isn''t even allowed in the first place." "Nice cop out," Amanda said, as she sat back into her chair. "Using professional standards to weasel out." "It''s not weaseling out," Jefferson disagreed, "These rules exist for a reason, and it''s to protect you and even myself from mental and even physical harm. It''s no different than a doctor taking advantage of you when you''re in a vulnerable state. It''s forbidden and unethical for a doctor to abuse their power like that. I have too much respect for my profession, for myself, and for you to even consider the idea. It''s not happening, Amanda. I am not an option." "That''s pretty harsh," Amanda said. "I apologize," Jefferson replied, "But it''s a truth that needs to be made, a point that I have to be absolutely clear about. "I feel like such an idiot," Amanda said, even tearing up. "You shouldn''t," Jefferson said, going into damage control. "Transference is completely normal, to the point where books have been written about it. It''s discussed openly at school to make sure everyone is aware of what''s expected of us when it occurs." "I get it, transference is bad." Amanda said, feeling rejected. "I didn''t say that," Jefferson corrected her, "Many in my field believe transference is a actually a good sign depending on the feelings being transferred. If someone is feeling love, like you are, some suggest that means therapy is working and that trust has been greatly established. The more you trust someone, the more feelings will rise and that''s completely normal. No one is going to judge you for having these feelings. We can talk about them, discuss why you feel this way and explore their source. We just cannot act on them." "How do you feel about it?" Amanda asked. "Honestly," Jefferson said, searching for the right words. "I''m flattered. It takes courage to even be able to say that to someone. Most people chicken out and never make their feelings clear to those they care about. I''ve been guilty of this myself, the fear to tell someone how you feel." "Why didn''t you?" Amanda asked, curious to know. "I told you what the reason was; fear." Jefferson repeated, "I was afraid that she would reject me, and even humiliate me. I wasn''t willing to take that risk, even if it meant never knowing how she felt about me. Today you were more brave than most people ever are. I appreciate that you feel that way, but I cannot accept it for the reasons I''ve already laid out." "So you don''t care about me?" Amanda asked. "I didn''t say that," Jefferson said, "I do care about you, but in a professional manner, as your therapist. I care about your therapy, about your progress and your mental health." "Do you know what they say about forbidden love?" Amanda asked. "I''m sure a lot has been said about the subject," Jefferson replied, "But I''m curious to hear what you''ve heard about it." "Mark Twain said it has a charm about it," Amanda said, "And it''s that charm that makes it undeniable." "That''s very interesting," Jefferson said, "But Miranda Kenneally once said unrequited love is the most expensive thing on the menu, and sometimes you have to settle for the daily special." "Is that so?" Amanda asked. "It is so." Jefferson confirmed, "Because our time is up." Session #2: Gilbert The two men sat there in the room, looking at one another. This standoff of silence happened more often than Dr. Jefferson liked to admit, but it was something he had to put up with whenever speaking to this particular patient. Jefferson sat in his chair with his legs folded with a notepad resting on his lap all while fiddling with his pen. He sometimes tapped his lip with the pen, other times hitting his knees as if he were performing a drum solo for an imaginary rock band. It was a hot day that afternoon, and the air conditioning unit was out, so there were a few fans circulating the air to keep both men cool. To also beat the heat, Jefferson had departed from his usual attire. Gone were the usual suit and tie, and the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up, which was far more casual than he had preferred but sweating like he was in a sauna also wasn¡¯t a good look for him either. It had been months since Gilbert had this standoff with Jefferson, which was like a mental staring contest to see who would speak first. Such standoffs would come to an end usually in ten minutes, which was usually when the Jefferson¡¯s patience would begin to wear rather thin. ¡°Gilbert,¡± Jefferson started, picking up the note pad from his lap as he knew there would be something to notate very soon. ¡°I keep telling you,¡± Gilbert said, sighing. ¡°I prefer to be called Gil.¡± ¡°And I keep telling you,¡± Jefferson countered, ¡°I prefer to start our session on time rather than ten minutes after the fact.¡± ¡°What do you care?¡± Gil asked. ¡°That¡¯s a good question, Gil.¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°Regardless of how much time you spend here, I¡¯m still going to charge you for the full hour. The only thing your uprising is having an effect on is your own wallet. One could argue this is your hour, so you can start it anytime you like, but it¡¯s still going to end the same time every week.¡± ¡°Duly noted,¡± Gil said, finally taking a seat. There were two very relaxing chairs in the middle of the room. Jefferson sat in one that was closest to his desk, while the guest was encouraged to take the other. There was also a couch on the other side of the room, which Gil had assumed was for couples or when a patient brought someone else to sit in. In total there was enough room for three people plus the doc, which many people assumed was the most people Jefferson would want to handle at the same time. Anything more and that would be considered group therapy. ¡°What are you thinking about, Gil?¡± Jefferson asked, again trying to break the silence. ¡°Whether or not jumping out your window is high enough to kill myself.¡± Gil said, with a rather shitty tone. ¡°I''m sorry, was that too soon?¡± Jefferson sat there for a moment and took a deep breath. ¡°Some could argue that your depraved attempt at humor was an unconscious cry for help, but I know you well enough to recognize that you¡¯re just trying to yank my chain. It won¡¯t work.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t think it would,¡± Gil said, sighing himself. ¡°Sorry about that. She was a good gal. I really felt bad when I read about her in the paper.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Jefferson said, not taking the gift horse in the mouth. It was the first sincere thing Gil had said since he arrived, so it was best to take it and run. ¡°Yet we need to talk about you, Gil. How have you been doing?¡± ¡°Me?¡± Gil asked, thinking about it. ¡°I¡¯ve been okay, nothing special.¡± ¡°Same old, same old?¡± Jefferson added, continuing to grind. ¡°Pretty much,¡± Gil said, scratching his chin. ¡°I get it; I should go out and do something different. Stop watching television and do something different.¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t agree with that, Gil.¡± Jefferson retorted. ¡°Hold on, you don¡¯t?¡± Gil asked, genuinely surprised. ¡°Not one bit,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°I like watching television as much as the next person. It doesn¡¯t make our problems go away, but sometimes it provides a much needed distraction. When whatever you¡¯re watching is over our problems are still there, but we are able to approach them with a fresh attitude and new eyes. That alone can be very helpful, and even therapeutic. George Carlin once said if you show me a man watching television all day, all you¡¯re showing me is someone that¡¯s staying out of trouble. Trust me, Gil; there are far worse habits a person could have than television.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Gil confessed, ¡°That was unexpected. Most professionals say television will rot your brain.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve heard that before,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°But that¡¯s total bullshit. Today¡¯s television well written, and more often far entertaining than what is being offered on the silver screen. I find a lot of current shows to be thought provoking and even educational, much more than the stuff our parents used to watch back in the day. I¡¯ll take an episode of Breaking Bad, Game Of Thrones, and the Sopranos any day over the crap being shown to our kids on the big screen.¡± ¡°Not everyone can afford HBO and AMC,¡± Gil countered. ¡°Touch¨¦,¡± Jefferson concurred, pausing to write something down. ¡°Even today¡¯s kid shows are better,¡± Gilbert added, ¡°The Wiggles for example are way more educational than the stuff we used to watch as kids.¡± ¡°That¡¯s an interesting example,¡± Jefferson said, as he found that particular example odd. ¡°Those are shows that one would usually watch with a child that is very young, like a toddler. I thought your kids were in college.¡± ¡°They are,¡± Gil said, ¡°The Wiggles have been around for over 20 years so even my kids watched them when they were younger.¡± ¡°But you said today¡¯s shows,¡± Jefferson reminded him, ¡°That¡¯s the part that I found odd. Why would you watch the Wiggles today?¡± Gilbert suddenly clammed up, as if he were caught doing something he wasn¡¯t supposed to be. He even appeared to be angry about it and even got up off the couch and started to walk to the exit. ¡°I should probably go,¡± he suddenly said. ¡°Hang on,¡± Jefferson said, as he also stood up. ¡°We¡¯re not even halfway through our session. What¡¯s going on here?¡± Gil stood in front of the door, and while he had his hand on the handle he appeared to be hesitating. He stood there for a few seconds and then let go of the handle and turned back to face his therapist. ¡°I can¡¯t tell you,¡± Gil spit out, ¡°I don¡¯t want to put you in a bad place.¡± This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. ¡°What kind of bad place are you talking about, Gil?¡± Jefferson asked, trying to find common ground. Jefferson felt like he was just pushed out of an airplane and was spinning in free fall. ¡°Talk to me.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± Gil said, ¡°You¡¯ll rat me out.¡± ¡°I would never do that,¡± Jefferson said, almost insulted at the idea, ¡°I keep everything we say between us. I¡¯d rather rot in jail than break a patient¡¯s confidence.¡± ¡°I thought you had to,¡± Gil said. ¡°Had to what?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Aren¡¯t you required to report on me if you knew I was breaking the law?¡± Gil asked, as he slowly walked back to the center of the room. ¡°Have you broken the law?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Technically, yes.¡± Gil replied. ¡°Have you hurt anyone physically?¡± Jefferson then inquired. ¡°No,¡± Gil replied, ¡°No one has been physically harmed.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Jefferson said, taking a deep breath. ¡°We¡¯re now getting into what I call a moral grey area of that rule. Technically I am only allowed to report you if I believe you are about to harm someone or yourself. Like if I had knowledge that you might try to murder someone or commit suicide.¡± ¡°Not that kind of crime,¡± Gil confirmed, ¡°This law I¡¯m breaking is total bullshit to begin with. How it¡¯s still in the books at all is just wrong itself.¡± ¡°Look, I talk to people who break the law all the time,¡± Jefferson admitted. ¡°I talk with people who do drugs, and that¡¯s technically a crime. I tell them not to do it, and encourage them to get their asses to rehab, but they still do shoot up or what not. I¡¯m not required to narc on them and I don¡¯t because jail doesn¡¯t help them break their addictions and is even counterproductive. Are you doing drugs, Gil?¡± ¡°No!¡± Gil said, almost offended by the question. ¡°I¡¯m not doing drugs.¡± ¡°Then what did you do?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°I can¡¯t help you if I¡¯m driving blind here. Odds are we¡¯re going to run off the road and crash. Talk to me Gil, what the hell did you do?¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Gil said, as he paced the room a bit. ¡°I got married.¡± ¡°You got married,¡± Jefferson said, thinking about it. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s illegal, Gil.¡± ¡°It is illegal,¡± Gil corrected, ¡°If you¡¯re already married to someone else.¡± There was an awkward silence between the two men as the stood there, looking at one another. Gil was allowing the impact of his statement to set in and gave Jefferson all the time he needed to process it. Gil was in fact breaking the law, but the matter in question was far more complicated than that. Jefferson didn¡¯t respond quickly but instead returned to his chair and sat down. He waved to the other chair and encouraged Gil to do the same, which he did without question. The two men sat there in their chairs and shared another round of silence, but this time it was genuine and not a childish standoff like it usually was. Finally after a few minutes, Jefferson broke the silence again. ¡°Alright,¡± he started, tossing the notepad aside. ¡°You¡¯re a bigamist.¡± ¡°That¡¯s one way to put it,¡± Gil said, smiling at the notion. ¡°Another person might call it polygamy, or even adultery.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s leave god and religion out of this for the time being,¡± Jefferson said, waving off that thought. ¡°I usually prefer to keep my sessions focused in the temporal plane of existence, thank you.¡± ¡°Is that so,¡± Gil said, again surprised. ¡°Are you an atheist?¡± ¡°And what if I am,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°Does that change anything?¡± ¡°Not at all,¡± Gil answered, ¡°If anything you might be the right person to speak about this with.¡± ¡°How so?¡± Jefferson inquired. ¡°Like you said,¡± Gil said, ¡°We can leave religion and the almighty out of the discussion. The less self righteous judgement there is during this conversation the better if you ask me.¡± ¡°Are you a religious person, Gil?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Do you think there is an almighty who might send you to hell for having more than one wife?¡± ¡°Not really,¡± Gil admitted, ¡°I think all that is above my paygrade.¡± ¡°Just out of curiosity,¡± Jefferson added, ¡°Am I correct to assume you have two wives? We¡¯re not talking about three or four here, right?¡± ¡°God, no.¡± Gil said, ¡°Just two. I don¡¯t think I could handle more than that. Two is enough, trust me.¡± ¡°I believe you,¡± Jefferson concurred, ¡°I can barely handle one, and that one crashed and burned.¡± ¡°Divorced?¡± Gil asked. ¡°I¡¯m afraid so,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°So in God¡¯s eyes we¡¯re both sinners.¡± ¡°I thought we were leaving him out of this?¡± Gil reminded his therapist. ¡°We are,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°She can fuck right off for all I care.¡± ¡°She?¡± Gil repeated. ¡°I know, it¡¯s not right to assume anyone¡¯s gender these days.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I guess we should allow even god to be whatever he/she/they want. For all we know, god is gender fluid.¡± ¡°Or gay.¡± Gil added with a laugh. ¡°Maybe,¡± Jefferson said, also laughing but that soon stopped. ¡°Alright Gil, talk to me here. How long have you been married to this other woman?¡± ¡°A while,¡± Gil answered, ¡°Eight years.¡± ¡°Eight years??¡± Jefferson repeated, actually impressed. ¡°That¡¯s a few years longer than we¡¯ve been talking. Does Wendy know anything about this?¡± ¡°No, she has no idea.¡± Gil said, ¡°And neither does Gabby.¡± ¡°Gabby,¡± Jefferson again repeated, ¡°That¡¯s the second wife, right?¡± ¡°Yes, wife number two.¡± Gil confirmed, ¡°Go on; tell me what an immoral piece of shit I am. That I¡¯m a degenerate for doing such a terrible thing.¡± ¡°Come on, Gil.¡± Jefferson said, sighing. ¡°I don¡¯t think that of you.¡± ¡°Are you sure?¡± Gil asked, ¡°Because sometimes I do.¡± ¡°Answer this for me,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°Do you take care of your wives? Do you provide them with a roof over their head, and a fridge full of food?¡± ¡°Yes, of course.¡± Gil answered. ¡°And the kids,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°Are they taken care of?¡± ¡°Absolutely,¡± Gil replied, ¡°I work myself into the ground to make sure the have everything they need.¡± ¡°Then why would I judge you?¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You¡¯re a good husband and an even better father. You¡¯re just pulling double shifts. Holy crap, Gil, how many kids do you have?¡± ¡°Seven,¡± Gil answered. ¡°Seven?¡± Jefferson repeated. ¡°I know you have three boys with Wendy, and four with the other woman?¡± ¡°That¡¯s correct,¡± Gil confirmed, ¡°Two boys and two girls.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Jefferson said, thinking about how full Gil¡¯s plate was. ¡°That is a lot of responsibility for one man to carry. How do you do it?¡± ¡°That¡¯s complicated,¡± Gil said, ¡°Sometimes it¡¯s very difficult.¡± ¡°That¡¯s an understatement.¡± Jefferson added, ¡°How have you not driven yourself mad with two families? How do they not know about one another?¡± ¡°Different towns,¡± Gil answered, ¡°One family lives here and is local, while the other is a three hour commute north.¡± ¡°So that¡¯s how you¡¯re doing it,¡± Jefferson said, as he figured it out. ¡°Your other family lives in another state. Three hours north crosses the state line. You have two marriages, but each one is registered with a different state." ¡°Winner, winner, chicken dinner.¡± Gil said, even tempted to applaud. ¡°What do you tell the other family when you¡¯re away?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Both families are under the impression that I¡¯m on the road,¡± Gil explained, ¡°That I spend half of my time at the office and the other half on the road, when in fact I¡¯m spending all my time at the office and just sleeping at the other house when one family thinks I¡¯m on the road.¡± ¡°That¡¯s amazing,¡± Jefferson complimented, ¡°Ingenious, actually.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Gil said, not expecting that response. ¡°But what you¡¯ve actually built is a house of cards,¡± Jefferson said, suddenly changing direction. ¡°All it takes is one mistake, or one card to be removed and if it¡¯s the wrong card, everything will come tumbling down.¡± ¡°Are you going to remove that card?¡± Gil asked. ¡°No,¡± Jefferson said, making himself perfectly clear. ¡°As long as you are not going to harm anyone, or yourself, then I have no ethical reason to notify the authorities of your criminal activity. That doesn¡¯t mean that I approve of what you¡¯re doing. To be honest, I¡¯m not sure what to think of it. I¡¯ve never met someone who has more than one wife before. I¡¯ve read about it in books, stuff about morons in Utah and what not, but I¡¯ve never actually met someone who committed the act. People do get married more than once, I get that. I¡¯ve been tempted to try again, it just never occurred to me to do more than one at a time. You can say I¡¯ve been programed to think that such an act is immoral.¡± ¡°A lot of people are programmed that way,¡± Gil added, ¡°Sometimes I feel that way about it. I feel guilty for doing it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a shame,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have to feel guilty about loving someone. The fact that you managed to hit the jackpot twice is something to be celebrated, not shamed and ridiculed.¡± ¡°You really think so?¡± Gil asked, as he couldn¡¯t believe what he was hearing. He just expected his therapist to lecture and scold him. ¡°I need time to unpack this,¡± Jefferson confessed, ¡°You¡¯ve clearly given me a lot to think about.¡± ¡°You have too,¡± Gil confessed, ¡°Now I¡¯m starting to wish I didn¡¯t waste the first ten minutes.¡± ¡°I told you,¡± Jefferson said, as he loved to be proven right. ¡°And another thing: if you have two families, how the hell do you have time for television?¡± Session # 3: Francis Doctor Jefferson was just finishing up his second appointment of the day when the light above his door flashed to let him know that the next appointment had arrived and was waiting in reception. After ushering his previous client out, Jefferson did quick tidy, took a short water break, and then swapped notebooks to prepare for the following appointment. When he was ready Jefferson buzzed the next client in, unlocking the door with a tap of a button on his desk. As the next man walked through the door, Jefferson took note of him as he strolled in. The new client hung his coat on one off the hooks behind the door, slowly walked closer. He was wearing a very expensive suit that was clearly custom made, as his appearance screamed money right from the very beginning. Jefferson tired to avoid judging people by their income, but this new visitor, who was showing up for his first session, made it difficult not to notice. The doctor still has a smile on his face as the new client walked up and his hand. ¡°Good afternoon,¡± The man said, with a pleasant smile. ¡°My name is Francis Alderton the third, but you can call me Frank.¡± ¡°A pleasure to meet you Frank,¡± Jefferson said, nothing the strong grip the man had for his age as they shook hands. ¡°I¡¯m Doctor Asher Jefferson, but I prefer to be called doctor or Doctor Jefferson.¡± ¡°Understood, my dear doctor.¡± Frank said, as he released Jefferson¡¯s hand and proceeded to take his seat. Jefferson had left his new notepad on his chair to make it obvious to Frank which chair he was supposed inhabit. ¡°Thanks for squeezing me in,¡± the man said as he sat down on the correct chair, ¡°It is unfortunate that we must meet under such undesirable circumstances.¡± ¡°I was happy to help,¡± Jefferson said, also sitting down, ¡°The passing of your previous therapist was quite sudden, and we don¡¯t like to leave patients in limbo for very long as it can lead to complications and unwanted regressions if they¡¯re not reassigned promptly.¡± ¡°Were you close to Dr. Stevens?¡± Frank inquired. ¡°We were colleagues,¡± Jefferson admitted, ¡°David Stevens and I spoke often and even reached out to one another for help whenever it was needed. I was also surprised by his sudden passing. I¡¯m sorry for your loss.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry for your loss as well,¡± Frank corrected, ¡°You know him personally as well as professionally. I was just a patient.¡± ¡°You¡¯re more than just a patient, Frank.¡± Jefferson countered, ¡°You meant a lot to your therapist, and I can assure you he¡¯d want your therapy to continue so his efforts he made in life were not in vain.¡± ¡°Makes you think though, doesn¡¯t it?¡± Frank said, ¡°I can assure you I¡¯ve been eating more greens since it happened.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not afraid to admit it,¡± Jefferson said, as he even giggled a bit, ¡°I haven¡¯t been arguing as much with my mother lately when she puts more broccoli on my plate. I¡¯m starting to think she¡¯s onto something.¡± ¡°Enough of the chit chat,¡± Frank suddenly declared, ¡°How much do you know about me and the therapy I had with my previous therapist?¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t know anything,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°Doctor Stevens never recorded any notes, and even if he did they were not filed. It was if they never existed or he destroyed them after you left.¡± ¡°They never existed,¡± Frank confirmed, ¡°I paid extra to that what was said between us remained that way. If was in his best interests to not have anything written down for the sake of his own reputation as well.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, as he closed the new notebook and placed it on the small table beside him. ¡°Is this why you were also specifically assigned to me as well. I was told that Doctor Stevens insisted that I be the one that resume your therapy if you wanted to speak to someone.¡± ¡°It was.¡± Frank answered, ¡°We discussed this last year actually, what would happen to me if he were to not be able to carry on for any reason. He insisted that you would be the best man to help me should I need to reach out to someone new. So, here I am.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°Here you are. Are you going to tell me why Stevens never took any notes? Was the topic that sensitive that you feared blackmail?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Frank honestly answered, ¡°We need to discuss something, a hypothetical if you will, and that will determine if I can trust you with my secrets. If I can trust you with the sensitive demons of my therapy.¡± ¡°You have demons,¡± Jefferson said, taking what ever Intel he could gather from their conversation. ¡°What kind of demons?¡± ¡°Not yet,¡± Frank said, nipping that in the bud. ¡°We need to go over our hypothetical first.¡± ¡°What happens if you don¡¯t like my answer?¡± Jefferson inquired. ¡°If you say something I don¡¯t like,¡± Frank started, ¡°Or vice versa, then I will simply compensate you for time and you¡¯ll never see me again.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Jefferson said, as he was slightly intrigued. ¡°Let¡¯s have it.¡± ¡°What makes someone a murderer?¡± Frank asked. ¡°That¡¯s an interesting question,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°And quite a loaded one as well.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the point,¡± Frank retorted, ¡°What I want to know is what criteria would it take for someone to earn that title. What do they have to do to become a murderer?¡± ¡°Well, there¡¯s the obvious criteria,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°If you commit the act itself, you are then a murderer.¡± ¡°What if the person is acquitted?¡± Frank asked, ¡°What if they plead not guilty and claim it was an act of self defense. Is the person still a murderer?¡± ¡°Yes, they are.¡± Jefferson answered. ¡°That¡¯s interesting,¡± Frank observed, ¡°Why is that?¡± ¡°They still committed the act,¡± Jefferson explained, ¡°The reason doesn¡¯t matter, the person still took another person¡¯s life. The act was committed and the person who committed the act has to life with it and struggle with it for the remainder of their life regardless if it¡¯s in prison or not.¡± ¡°That¡¯s quite interesting, but now here¡¯s another twist.¡± Frank said as he shifted in his seat. ¡°What if no one was killed? What if the person was thinking about killing someone, even fantasizing about doing it, but hasn¡¯t actually done it yet?¡± ¡°That could still be a crime,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°If they discussed the idea with another person, or tried to hire someone to take someone out, the law considers that a conspiracy to commit murder. That charge is just as bad as being charged with murder itself.¡± ¡°Quite true,¡± Frank agreed, ¡°But what if there was no conspiracy? What if this person thought about doing it everyday, but never told anyone and kept it to him or herself? Would they still be a murderer?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Jefferson admitted, ¡°If a person has never had sex before but thinks about it all the time, we still consider them a virgin until they do the actual act itself. Shouldn¡¯t we apply that same standard?¡± You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. ¡°So you think as long as the person doesn¡¯t pop their homicidal cherry, then he or she is not a murderer?¡± Frank asked. ¡°Yes, I suppose that¡¯s could be my view on it.¡± Jefferson conceded, ¡°But if the person is thinking about it ever day, that cannot be good for them or the person they¡¯re thinking about taking out.¡± ¡°Because you¡¯re afraid that one day the person will relent and try to act out their fantasy?¡± Frank asked. ¡°He would be like a ticking bomb,¡± Jefferson explained, ¡°And all it would take was one really bad day to set this person off, and then all cards are off the table and anything is possible.¡± ¡°That¡¯s my fear as well,¡± Frank said, ¡°It was also Doctor Stevens¡¯ fear and the reason for my secretive therapy.¡± ¡°If you fantasized about murdering someone,¡± Jefferson said, as his tone rose just a little, ¡°It was Doctor Stevens¡¯ ethical responsibility to report it to the police immediately to protect the person you wanted to kill.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t fantasize about killing anyone,¡± Frank said, almost chuckling. ¡°I wish that¡¯s what my fantasies are about, but what I think about is far worse.¡± ¡°What is worse than murder?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°We¡¯re not there yet,¡± Frank replied, as he stood up and was ready to walk out. ¡°I¡¯m not sure you can handle this.¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s keep trying,¡± Jefferson said, as he was concerned about this patient and what secrets both he and his therapist were hiding from everyone. ¡°Give me another hypothetical.¡± ¡°Alright, let¡¯s try this again.¡± Frank said, sitting back down. ¡°If a person wants to rob a bank, but never does it. Is that person a bank robber?¡± ¡°I suppose not,¡± Jefferson said, thinking about it. ¡°If you don¡¯t conspire with anyone and only think about it yourself and never actually commit any robberies, it would be hard to call you anything. Thoughts are not the crime, actions are the only thing you can be charged for. In order to become a criminal, you actually have to commit a crime.¡± ¡°And thus far, I have not.¡± Frank assured him. ¡°No one has been harmed, and they will not because my therapy I was provided helped prevent me from harming anyone. To help to avoid this ticking bomb from going off.¡± ¡°Doctor Stevens was your fail safe, wasn¡¯t he?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°Like an alcoholic¡¯s sponsor. Someone you could call on in case all else failed. The voice of reason that was the last line of defense as he might call it.¡± ¡°He was,¡± Frank confirmed, ¡°And I¡¯m hoping you¡¯ll help me keep ticking and never ignite. I want to keep people safe and unharmed. Can you help me do that, Doctor Jefferson?¡± ¡°That depends,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You never answered my question. What is worse than murder?¡± ¡°There¡¯s only one thing that is worse than murder,¡± Frank replied, as he took a deep breath before continuing. ¡°Doctor Stevens called it the only other crime besides murder that warranted the death penalty. He also called it the most inhumane act that a human being could commit.¡± The moment he made that statement, Jefferson jumped to his feet. Doctor Stevens had said that statement to Jefferson before, years ago when they were talking about a specific issue. The doctor in the room remembered every word about that conversation with Stevens, and what the two men were talking about when Stevens made that exact same statement to him. ¡°Are you serious right now?¡± Jefferson said, afraid to go near the man. ¡°I¡¯m afraid so,¡± Frank replied. ¡°So what you¡¯re trying to say,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°Is that you¡¯re a¡­¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Frank confirmed, ¡°I am.¡± ¡°Get out,¡± Jefferson said, as he was quite repulsed. ¡°I want you to get out of my office and never come back!¡± ¡°I can¡¯t leave,¡± Frank said, as he understood the man¡¯s sudden outburst of anger. ¡°I need your help.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no help for degenerate, pieces of filth like you!¡± Jefferson roared, afraid that his fury might get the best of him. ¡°Just leave my place of work immediately!¡± ¡°Stop!¡± Frank pleaded, ¡°Do you remember the questions I asked?¡± ¡°What about them?¡± Jefferson said, as he was looking around the room for something that he could use as a weapon in case he needed it. ¡°In order to be a criminal, you have to commit a crime!¡± Frank repeated, ¡°You said that not more than five minutes ago!¡± ¡°Yes, I did!¡± Jefferson confessed, ¡°What¡¯s your damn point?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t committed the act¡­ not once!¡± Frank informed him. ¡°I¡¯ve thought about it, dreamed about it, but have never done it! If I never committed the actual crime, am I really that despicable piece of filth that you think I am?¡± All those hypothetical questions were starting to make sense to the doctor as he started to piece things together. Despite all the time he spent thinking about it, Frank never committed the actual crime and had been for the entirety of his life thus far a law bidding citizen. He had thought about it all the time, even fantasized about it, but to this point had never harmed a single person. The time bomb was still ticking but it had never gone off¡­ not yet that is. Frank was still a virgin, and he wanted Jefferson¡¯s help to remain that way. ¡°This thing you¡¯re talking about,¡± Jefferson said, as the skin on his arms began to crawl just thinking about it. ¡°It is one of the most forbidden things any person could do, and the world would be revolted by it.¡± ¡°I know that,¡± Frank admitted, ¡°I fight these feelings and urges everyday. To this point I have fended them off, and Doctor Stevens has been there to make sure that I never slipped or gave into those urges.¡± ¡°And you want me to help you as well?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°How?¡± ¡°Think of it like alcoholism,¡± Frank said, as he took a step closer, ¡°Doctor Stevens was my sponsor, my guide to staying sober. I need a new sponsor.¡± Jefferson was revolted that Stevens would ever help someone like this but the alternative as just as unethical, even more if he allowed someone else to be harmed by his inaction. That would make him no less guilty than Frank who was practically begging for the man¡¯s help. ¡°I would have conditions,¡± Jefferson said, as he couldn¡¯t believe the words coming from his mouth. ¡°Write them down,¡± Frank said, as he sat back down. ¡°I¡¯m open to almost anything as long as it doesn¡¯t interfere with my business life.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Jefferson said as he sat down and finally picked up his pad and pen back up. ¡°If I think just one person is in danger, I will not hesitate to rat you out to the police.¡± ¡°I would expect nothing less,¡± Frank said, ¡°I would in fact encourage you do so if you felt it was necessary.¡± ¡°You are a sick piece of shit, Frank.¡± Jefferson spat out. ¡°I know,¡± Frank said, as he had clearly heard worse. ¡°Will you still help me fight this?¡± ¡°Yes, I will. ¡± Jefferson said, as he kept writing, ¡°If you agree to these terms that I¡¯ve set for you.¡± Frank took the piece of paper, and scanned over its contents with great interesting and nodded his head over and over again as he read down the page. ¡°I think these acceptable,¡± Frank said, ¡°And there are a few others we can add later that Doctor Stevens had set that I¡¯d like to be in place because I found them helpful during our sessions.¡± ¡°What were they?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Look for yourself,¡± Frank said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cellular telephone. He tossed it to Jefferson who caught it and looked down at it in surprised. ¡°What is this?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°It¡¯s Doctor Stevens¡¯ cell phone,¡± Frank replied, ¡°Well not his actual cell phone, it¡¯s a private phone that he used only to speak to me in private. I was the only one who had access to this phone and would call him whenever I needed his assistance. I would only interrupt him outside appointments if it was dire, and that rarely ever happened.¡± ¡°And why are you giving this to me?¡± Jefferson demanded. ¡°Because that¡¯s where Stevens kept all his notes.¡± Frank answered, ¡°The password is Six, Four, Two, Four, Nine. Only he and I knew how to unlock that phone. Read them over, and we¡¯ll talk again next week.¡± ¡°I thought he didn¡¯t take any notes?¡± Jefferson recalled. ¡°He did, just not the regular way.¡± Frank answered, ¡°I couldn¡¯t chance have such sensitive notes lying around.¡± ¡°How did you get this back from him?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°I have a contact in the police who both Stevens and I had on the payroll.¡± Frank said, ¡°In the event that either of us had suddenly died, our man within the force would make sure our cellular device was taken and given to the other man still standing.¡± ¡°You¡¯re entrusting me with something very sensitive,¡± Jefferson said, as he looked at the notes and read some of them. ¡°I will do my best to assist you.¡± ¡°Take your time to read everything,¡± Frank repeated, ¡°And we¡¯ll continue next week and answer any queries you might have.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Jefferson said, standing up. ¡°We¡¯ll speak again next week.¡± Jefferson watched as Frank grabbed his coat, and strolled out the exit and out of the room. The doctor looked at the new phone given to him and unlocked it and open just some of the files that was in there. Moments after taking a moment to breathe, Jefferson hit a button on his phone that contacted the front desk, and his secretary Janet. ¡°Can I help you, Doctor Jefferson?¡± the soft voice replied. ¡°How many appointments do we have left today?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Three,¡± Janet replied, ¡°One before lunch, and two this afternoon.¡± ¡°Cancel them,¡± Jefferson ordered, ¡°Something has come up that I need to offer my full attention to. Give them my sincerest apologies and rebook for another day, and then take the rest of the day off with pay.¡± ¡°Yes, Doctor Jefferson.¡± Janet said, and the line went dead. Jefferson stood there holding the cell phone in his hand, looking at it and the notes of the man who entrusted him with what was one of his most despicable and dangerous clients. Jefferson would go on to spend the rest of the day reading the notes and find out what he was getting himself into by taking Frank on as a client for what might be the foreseeable future. ¡°Oh David,¡± Jefferson said, referencing the last man who treated the sick piece of crap that had just left his office. ¡°What have you gotten me into?¡± Session # 4: Amanda Jefferson was nervous about the next session. He had thought long and hard about the previous meeting with Amanda, and he was still as unsure about what he wanted to say to her today. He had spent weeks thinking about it, but all well his mind was unable to come up with something. A total blank. He even tried rehearsing what he could say in the mirror that morning while he was shaving. He got so tangled up in what he was to say that Jefferson almost cut himself a few times. As much as Jefferson didn¡¯t like the idea of winging an appointment, he had a feeling that how the hour would go would also depend on what Amanda brought to the discussion as well. He was going to play defense most of the hour, much like he did the previous week, with the hopes that some time helped Amanda realize that her transference was not healthy and might interfere with her therapy. If she refused to let it go, Jefferson knew what would have to be done. He¡¯d have to report it to a supervisor and request advice on what he should do next. He didn¡¯t like the idea of bringing someone else into a client¡¯s therapy, but he had to inform a colleague to at least give the appearance that he was trying his best to resolve the matter without going outside the lines and remaining professional. When the hour came, Jefferson took a deep breath before buzzing the young woman into his office. As Amanda strolled into the room, Jefferson could already tell there was something different. She was wearing something quite professional, and it appeared that this session might not be as confrontational than the previous one was. She looked great, and more formal rather than the casual look Amanda had before. It gave Jefferson the impression that this might be a very productive interview, but would have to wait and see if he turned out to be that lucky. While she appeared to be ready to attack, there was a positive sign, as Amanda showed up for her appointment with two cups from a local barista. ¡°I brought tea,¡± she said, giving Jefferson a warm smile. ¡°You still take it with two sugar, milk and a pinch of honey?¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right.¡± Jefferson said, holding the door open for her. ¡°I¡¯m flattered that you remember.¡± ¡°You take the time to remember for those you care about,¡± Amanda said as she handed him a cup and took her own cup to her seat and sat down. Jefferson refused to take the bait, and chose to let the comment pass as he preferred to let the gift of tea be the focus to open the session. ¡°Thank you very much,¡± Jefferson said, as he sat down and took a nice sip of his cup. ¡°This is very nice.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t chince out.¡± Amanda said, ¡°I prefer the best. And for the record, I¡¯m not calling you chincy because I don¡¯t know if you are. I am only speaking for myself and no one else. I like this place and liking paying an extra dollar for high quality. Anything wrong with that?¡± ¡°Not at all,¡± Jefferson said, taking her at her word. ¡°I never took the comment as anything kind of slight.¡± ¡°Good to hear,¡± Amanda said, as she gave him a warm smile. ¡°Don¡¯t exactly have to be a clairvoyant to know what we will be focusing on today. Am I right?¡± ¡°Well, before we drag that cat back out of the bag,¡± Jefferson corrected her, ¡°I would prefer to start with how your week was, make sure we cover that first just in case there¡¯s anything that happened you might want to talk about.¡± ¡°It was alright, actually.¡± Amanda said, acting surprised herself. ¡°For some reason, things just seemed a bit easier after visiting you last week. I left that day with a burden removed from my shoulders. I felt lighter and able to do more and it led to a very positive week.¡± ¡°So work was fine,¡± Jefferson said, as he continued to pry, ¡°No issues there or at home?¡± ¡°No, not one.¡± Amanda confirmed, ¡°I even had some good talks with my mother and even she noticed how different I sounded over the phone. This burden was just pinning me down, and I¡¯m so glad to be free of it.¡± ¡°This burden you¡¯re talking about,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You¡¯re referring to what we talked about last week?¡± ¡°Yes, when I confessed how much I love you,¡± Amanda said, as she even smiled at the thought of it. ¡°I don¡¯t like keeping secrets, and letting go of this just made me feel so much better.¡± ¡°Despite the fact that the love cannot be reciprocated.¡± Jefferson asked. "Says you,¡± Amanda said, smiling again. ¡°You are more than capable.¡± "Capable, probably.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°It¡¯s more that I¡¯m not willing.¡± ¡°And why aren¡¯t you willing?¡± Amanda demanded, as her tone seemed to have a little more sharpness to it. ¡°Am I not good enough?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t say that,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°That isn¡¯t it. If this were any other circumstance, or we didn¡¯t have this professional relationship, to hear you say those words to me would have made me the luckiest man on the planet. But I¡¯m not able to say that, quite the opposite. There are commitments, vows, and even oaths that prevent me from taking accepting your statement. I¡¯m sorry that I can¡¯t accept your words with open arms, I really am. Yet I can¡¯t do it.¡± ¡°Do you not care about me?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°Yes, I do.¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°I care about you a great deal, Amanda. I¡¯d be a pretty shitty therapist if I didn¡¯t. I care about your mental well being, and the progress of your therapy. This is why I follow the rules, because they¡¯re made to protect you and ensure that we conduct ourselves with dignity and respect. Like your tea, you deserve the best.¡± The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Amanda sat there for a moment to process the words Jefferson just lobbed out her way. ¡°Good comeback,¡± she finally said, ¡°I can¡¯t tell if that was meant as a slight or a compliment. You certainly have a way with words.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t mean to confuse you,¡± Jefferson said to her, ¡°And I mean to be honest with you, as much as I can be while maintaining our professional status. We have to respect the rules if you want to remain my a patient.¡± ¡°That sounds like a threat,¡± Amanda said, taken aback by it. ¡°It¡¯s not a threat,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°It¡¯s a boundary. A line that we cannot cross if you want to remain my patient. You¡¯re free to talk about your feelings for me, but I cannot. We cannot act on them either. These are boundaries you have to respect of you want to continue seeing me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like it,¡± Amanda confessed, ¡°But you¡¯re being honest with me, and that much I appreciate. So many times I¡¯ve dated men who were unable to articulate where we stood, and you¡¯re doing the exact opposite. You¡¯re telling me exactly where we stand and what I can and cannot expect to get from our relationship. I may not like some of what you¡¯re telling me, but at least you¡¯re being open and frank about it.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve always been truthful with you,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Even when that truth is unpopular. I don¡¯t like to say things that aren¡¯t welcome, but your mental health is worth being the occasional bad guy for.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± Amanda said, ¡°I wish I could find someone out there who wants to be that open and honest with me.¡± ¡°There are good men out there, Amanda.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°And many of they would consider themselves very lucky to associate with someone as charming and articulate as yourself. I hope you find one out there that makes you happy. That¡¯s all I wish for my clients; to get back out there and find something that makes they happy.¡± ¡°How often does that happen?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°Not as often as I would prefer,¡± Jefferson confessed, ¡°But it does happen. Have faith and stick with the program, and one of them might be you one day.¡± ¡°You really mean that?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°I can promise you this much,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I will do whatever I can to help you get there. If we fail, it will not be from a lack of trying.¡± ¡°But it can¡¯t be with you?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°I¡¯m afraid not,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°It¡¯s forbidden." ¡°There¡¯s that word again,¡± Amanda said, sighing. ¡°Rules are there for a reason,¡± Jefferson added, ¡°Often to protect vulnerable people from being exploited, and abused. While I don¡¯t need rules to stop myself from doing that, they¡¯re in place to encourage less than honorable doctors from crossing that line. It¡¯s for the greater good, and I think it¡¯s a small price to pay to safeguard patients form being manipulated and mistreated. I¡¯m sorry, Amanda, but this is the way things have to be.¡± ¡°I just wish I could get to know you,¡± Amanda said, ¡°I remember you said that at our last session, how I never really knew you.¡± Jefferson sat there for a moment and recalled what exactly he had told her. That she couldn¡¯t be in love with him because she didn¡¯t know him beyond their therapy. She only knew him on a professional level, and nothing else. He smiled at the thought and an idea came to him. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what,¡± Jefferson said, hoping to strike a compromise. ¡°If you stick to your therapy and make some good strides, I¡¯d be willing to share some details about my personal life so you can get to know me. We can¡¯t have a personal relationship, but that doesn¡¯t mean you can know small details about my life. I¡¯m willing to share some of them with you if you¡¯re willing to keep working on your therapy and keep it professional.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Amanda said, intrigued by the idea, ¡°You meant that?¡± ¡°I do,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But I¡¯m only willing to share if you promise not to push for a relationship beyond what we have here. I¡¯ll let you get to know me a bit more if you¡¯re willing to work hard on yourself.¡± ¡°I like this,¡± Amanda said, feeling excited about it. ¡°So what comes first?¡± ¡°To prove how sincere I am,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°I¡¯m willing to go first, but I¡¯m only going to start with a very small, minute detail. A small teaser, and the further we go on, the more personal I¡¯ll try to make them without going too far.¡± ¡°Oh, I like this idea.¡± Amanda said, sitting up as she was excited. ¡°What are you going to tell me first?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll start with something simple,¡± Jefferson reminded her. ¡°Today¡¯s topic will be ¡­ pizza.¡± ¡°Pizza?¡± Amanda repeated, ¡°How can that be something personal?¡± ¡°It¡¯s more personal that you think,¡± Jefferson explained, ¡°You can tell a lot about a person by what they put on their pies.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°Quite,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°For example; what do you put on your pizza?¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯m not a picky person,¡± Amanda explained, ¡°I usually tend to go with what everyone else wants if it¡¯s within reason.¡± ¡°You see,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°I can tell by that answer that you¡¯re a caring, easy going, and considerate person. You¡¯re willing to compromise for the greater good and avoid conflict whenever you can.¡± ¡°That¡¯s very interesting,¡± Amanda said, quite impressed. ¡°Now answer this,¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°If you were going to order a pizza just for yourself, and you and control over all toppings, what would you get?¡± ¡°I guess it would be just veggies, and extra cheese,¡± Amanda answered, ¡°I¡¯ve been trying to reduce my meat intake lately.¡± ¡°That¡¯s interesting, and quite responsible.¡± Jefferson noted. ¡°But what about you?¡± Amanda asked, ¡°I want to know what you¡¯d get on your pizza.¡± ¡°That answer can vary sometimes,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°Depending on where the pizza is coming from. But if it was just me ordering from anywhere, my preference is black olives, onions, and anchovies.¡± ¡°Anchovies?¡± Amanda said, her face somewhat stunned. ¡°Yes,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°I love anchovies on a pizza, but I rarely have them because no one else likes them. My oldest son likes them, so I get to order them with him whenever we¡¯re watching a hockey game together. My youngest son only likes pepperoni and cheese, and nothing else. So usually when we order at my house, we have to get two or three slabs.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a lot of pizza,¡± Amanda noted. ¡°I don¡¯t mind,¡± Jefferson said, smiling. ¡°Besides, leftover pizza is the breakfast of champions.¡± ¡°Is it now?¡± Amanda said, laughing out loud.¡± ¡°It can be if you¡¯re not in the mood to cook in the morning,¡± Jefferson said, as he was enjoying their new banter. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you like anchovies,¡± Amanda said. ¡°I¡¯m afraid so,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I order them whenever I can. This proves that even with the smallest detail, you can learn so much about someone and what their personality is like. Don¡¯t be afraid to use this example when looking for someone special. Asking what they like on pizza can teach you a lot about someone and if they¡¯re right for you.¡± ¡°That¡¯s quite interesting,¡± Amanda admitted, ¡°I never knew such a small detail could tell so much.¡± ¡°There are many more details you can apply that will tell you a lot about any person.¡± Jefferson told her, ¡°And I can keep sharing mine as an example if you¡¯re willing to keep your side of our deal.¡± "I really like this idea,¡± Amanda said, as she seemed genuinely happy to know something about him. ¡°I will keep my end. I can¡¯t wait to learn more!¡± "I¡¯m happy to hear that,¡± Jefferson said, glad to see her excitement, ¡°That that¡¯s going to have to wait until next week, cause our time is almost up.¡± Session # 5: Vicky & Tom Jefferson had stopped accepting couples several years ago. He found them too confrontational, sometimes violent on occasion, and they always asked him to take sides which he never wanted to do. After one couple had only what he could describe as an epic meltdown, Doctor Jefferson walked away from that field of therapy. Jefferson found couple¡¯s therapy very exhausting, both physically and mentally, and it was no longer his cup of tea. He preferred to work one on one with his patients and had stopped seeing couples completely for what he thought was a very sound reason. Yet this time Jefferson was going to have to make an exception, as this couple was another contribution from the passing of his colleague, Doctor Stevens. While another therapist had volunteered to take them on, the couple didn¡¯t want that person as they preferred to work with a male therapist. This was why they liked withing with Doctor Stevens so much, but all Jefferson could see was an outspoken, demanding couple that was going to cause trouble. This unfortunate circumstance meant that Jefferson was going to have to tackle the wild world of couple¡¯s therapy again at least one more time Jefferson was being asked to do the heavy lifting as the more difficult clients appeared to be dumped onto him rather disproportionately. Rather than complain or try to pass the buck like the previous therapist asked to take on this couple, Jefferson decided use this as an opportunity. He wanted to see if it was possible to get back into this branch of his field and see if it could work out with couples or was really something he never wanted to do again. Trial by fire as he never got to pick the couple as they fell onto his lap. Rather the gripe, Jefferson prepared himself like a gladiator that was walking back into the arena for the first time in a while. When the hour came, Jefferson believed that he was ready but still braced for impact. Tom was the first to show up, which wasn¡¯t exactly a good sign. Usually, it was better if the couple arrived together rather than separately. Now it could mean they work in different parts of town and came from opposite directions, but it also could mean they were poor at synchronizing their schedules and working a plan to meet up. Neither red flag was ideal, but Jefferson planned not to emphasize on it and let the couple lead the direction of their first session. To make matters worse when the hour finally started, the lady still hadn¡¯t arrived, and the husband was left there holding his dick like a chump. Jefferson opened the door and let the man in so that he would not be punished for his spouse¡¯s punctuality or lack there of. As Tom walked into the room, his presence made quite an impression. He was well dressed, wearing a sharp suit that looked to be custom made as looked as tight as a wetsuit. It was jet black with white lines, and his tie was a bright red that stuck out like a naked guy in a crowd with his hair on fire. His hair was slicked back, and his beard was trimmed that day, no doubt by a professional. He looked like a million bucks, but he also looked like he was ready for a fight. Jefferson could tell that he was frustrated as Tom walked in and offered a hand for him to shake. ¡°Good afternoon, doctor.¡± Tom started, ¡°I¡¯m Thomas Fletcher, but you can call me Tom.¡± ¡°Hello, Tom,¡± Jefferson said, taking his hand and shaking it. ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± Tom asked. ¡°I mean because of the passing of your therapist,¡± Jefferson reminded him, ¡°No one likes to change therapists if they can help it, but sometimes life isn¡¯t very cooperative and I¡¯m sorry it had to be this way.¡± ¡°Shit happens,¡± Tom said, as he didn¡¯t appear sad about it. ¡°The man was fat and smelt like a box of Cubans. It was only a matter of time because that fucker¡¯s heart was like a ticking bomb.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, as the response told him a lot about the man he was speaking with. He was blunt, honest, and fearless. Often that could be a rather terrifying combination. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about Vicky,¡± Tom added, ¡°She¡¯s always late.¡± ¡°Is she?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Every damn time it seems,¡± Tom confirmed, ¡°How long we¡¯re kept waiting varies, but she usually has a pantheon of excuses on hand to explain them all away. A client was keeping her in the office, traffic was hell, and many, many more. Today my money is on traffic. That¡¯s one of her go to excuses to explain away her tardiness.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t endorse gambling in here,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But I understand your frustration. Do you want to wait for her?¡± ¡°Not really to be honest,¡± Tom said as he walked over to the couch. ¡°I already left a few messages with no reply. Time is money so we might as well get started since we¡¯re already on the clock.¡± ¡°Time appears to be very important to you,¡± Jefferson observed. ¡°Is time important in your line of work as well?¡± ¡°In my line of work, my time is very expensive,¡± Tom answered, ¡°I charge five hundred dollars an hour for my time.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Jefferson said, as it was a little more than what he was charging for his hourly rate. ¡°I¡¯m an attorney,¡± Tom added, ¡°And as you can surmise by what I charge, I happen to be one of the best.¡± ¡°I surmised as much,¡± Jefferson said, as he gestured to the couch. Tom took the hint and plopped himself down on the left-hand side. ¡°She¡¯s always late,¡± Tom said, almost grumbling. ¡°It¡¯s so disrespectful.¡± ¡°Did this happen a lot with Doctor Stevens?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Oh yeah, big time.¡± Tom said, ¡°I can count on one hand how many times she actually showed up early or on time. Stevens actually threatened to stop letting her attend if she couldn¡¯t show up on time.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Jefferson said, as he found that rather interesting. Stevens was never the kind to make such threats, so it seemed to back up Tom¡¯s story about how often his wife was late. ¡°It¡¯s fucking bullshit,¡± Tom cussed, his frustration evident. ¡°She is never late for her family doctor, or her damn Gyno, but she¡¯s always late to see you guys. Contrary to popular belief, you guys are real doctors and should be respected as such.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Your reverence for my profession is very unique.¡± ¡°Well, I deal with a lot of you actually.¡± Tom confessed, ¡°I work with a lot of psychiatrists during trials to testify as experts. Some cases I had hinged on what your colleagues had to say, so I have a lot of respect for the work and what your reputations can do when I¡¯m trying to win a case.¡± ¡°That¡¯s makes sense.¡± Jefferson observed, ¡°Is that how you became acquainted with Doctor Stevens?¡± ¡°No, not that way,¡± Tom corrected him, ¡°He was recommended by someone that I work with, but he never was one of my experts.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, sitting down into his chair. ¡°And in your personal opinion, how did you think therapy was going with Doctor Stevens?¡± ¡°It didn¡¯t feel like it was going well,¡± Tom answered, ¡°It felt like we were crawling through mud, and moving too slow.¡± ¡°And you don¡¯t like to move slow?¡± Jefferson asked. The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°No, not really.¡± Tom replied, ¡°But I¡¯m not a na?ve fool; I realize that there are no quick fixes, but there is such a thing as moving too slow. I¡¯d like to see a decent progress to feel like we¡¯re going somewhere.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound unreasonable,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But I can assure you, slow progress is still progress. As long as you¡¯re consistent, all of those steps will eventually add up.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± Tom conceded, ¡°I do like that approach. Journey of a thousand miles starts with and is taken one step at a time.¡± ¡°One of my favorite sayings,¡± Jefferson said, as he could sense a connection with the client that bothered to show up. ¡°A bit of a paraphrase,¡± Tom added, ¡°but it still manages to deliver the vital message.¡± ¡°And what about your journey, Tom?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°How fast is the pace where your marriage is concerned?¡± ¡°Obviously it¡¯s stagnant,¡± Tom answered, ¡°Like a broken-down car that had to pull over to the side of the road. It¡¯s not going anywhere. Zero progress.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, as he started to take notes, ¡°How did your marriage break down, since we¡¯re using this metaphor.¡± ¡°Trust,¡± Tom answered, ¡°Or the lack there of.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going to lie,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°Once something that crucial is lost, it¡¯s very hard to get back. For some people it¡¯s impossible.¡± ¡°No shit, Sherlock.¡± Tom said, as he sat back and huffed. ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Whose trust was broken?¡± ¡°It was mine,¡± Tom answered, ¡°I¡¯ve spent the better part of eleven years been loyal to a person that doesn¡¯t deserve my loyalty.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a hard thing to admit,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I read from your file that was given to me by Doctor Stevens¡¯ office that there was infidelity.¡± ¡°Pretty much,¡± Tom confirmed, ¡°Once again on her part. I¡¯ve managed to keep it in my pants, and that¡¯s how my devotion is repaid.¡± ¡°That¡¯s interesting,¡± Jefferson said, noticing something. ¡°So, you¡¯ve been tempted, haven¡¯t you? Someone has propositioned you at one point in your marriage.¡± ¡°Yes, but I did nothing.¡± Tom replied, ¡°I shut that shit down and never let it go anywhere. I¡¯m not that kind of guy. I keep getting told that my wife will never know, it will be okay. Well, I would know and that¡¯s worse than her knowing. There¡¯s such a thing as self respect, and when I make promises or oaths before god, I fucking keep them.¡± ¡°That is admirable,¡± Jefferson said, as he tried his best not to appear too impressed with what he just heard. Tom was a man with faults, like all men, but infidelity wasn¡¯t one of them. He loved his wife, and apparently himself, far too much to ever risk stepping out on the woman he committed himself to. ¡°It doesn¡¯t make me feel good,¡± Tom admitted, ¡°All that work, and it feels like it was for nothing.¡± ¡°But it wasn¡¯t,¡± Jefferson disagreed, ¡°you said it yourself, that how you view of yourself is just as important as how others do. It reminds me of something profound one of my professors said. He told us that the only respect that matters is self respect, and everything else was just bullshit. If you can look at that man in the mirror and respect the man looking back, then in his books you were doing alright.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± Tom said, as he even smiled a bit. ¡°That sounds like a pretty stand-up professor to me.¡± ¡°He was tough, but fair.¡± Jefferson said, smiling back. ¡°When we wrote our finals, he would take them all back to his office and mark them all that night while nursing a bottle of scotch. Our final grades were always posted on his office door by ten the next morning.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Tom said, impressed. ¡°That is unheard of. I never had a prof that was that dedicated to his craft. To pull all nighters just like his students.¡± ¡°You pulled a few of those?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°More than I¡¯d like to admit,¡± Tom said, thinking back. ¡°I work better when there¡¯s an impending deadline. The closer I am to it, the harder and more dedicated I get. Usually before a trial starts, you find me the previous night in my office going over my opening repeatedly. It¡¯s just the way I¡¯m programmed.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not alone with that line of thinking,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°There are a lot of professionals that love to work with a clock hanging over them, as it forces them to hustle and bust their asses when necessary.¡± ¡°I remember one all nighter I did when getting my under grad,¡± Tom recalled, ¡°It was an English course in Gothic Fiction.¡± ¡°That sounds interesting,¡± Jefferson noted. ¡°It was a great class,¡± Tom said, ¡°At the beginning of the term, the professor told us that there were ten books we would cover during the entire course, and that during our final we could pick which books we wanted to answer. So, we got to chose what books we wanted to talk about and what books we didn¡¯t want to go over. We could select four books we like and answer questions about that in the final.¡± ¡°That sounds reasonable,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But something happened, didn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°You¡¯re very perceptive,¡± Tom said, ¡°About a week before the final, she changed the format of the final. She said that one section would be how she said they¡¯d be; with options to pick from. Then she told us that the second section would only be about one book, which was Bram Stoker¡¯s Dracula. She changed the rules of the final at the last fucking minute.¡± ¡°And that upset you?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°You¡¯re fucking right it did!¡± Tom said, looking rather heated. ¡°To make matters worse, I hadn¡¯t touched that damn book with a ten-foot pole. I had been studying five other books that whole term, and now I had to pick one up and basically get acquainted with it with less than six days notice.¡± ¡°I can tell that upset you,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°She moved the goalposts and didn¡¯t seem to care how here students felt about it.¡± ¡°I still managed to read the book,¡± Tom answered, ¡°I read it a few times, even using a large print version to help during the later hours.¡± ¡°Smart man,¡± Jefferson noted, ¡°Audio books are also helpful, and even sometimes the movies can offer a break without breaking away too far from the subject in question.¡± ¡°Movies cut too much out,¡± Tom griped. ¡°That depends on the movie,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But getting back on track, this is another example of how your trust was broken. This appears to be a recurring theme for you, Tom.¡± ¡°You could say that.¡± Tom confirmed. ¡°I am saying that.¡± Jefferson said, as he noticed something in the corner of his eye. His instincts were confirmed when there was a buzz coming from reception to let him know someone had arrived. ¡°Well, it¡¯s about time!¡± Tom said, ¡°She¡¯s only a half hour late.¡± ¡°Twenty minutes actually,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Excuse me for a moment.¡± Jefferson put his notepad down and strolled over to the door. He opened it but blocked the entrance with his body. He stood there and looked at the woman that was before him, the very woman they had been waiting for. ¡°Vicky Fletcher, I presume?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Yes,¡± Vicky said, giving the man at the door a warm smile. Jefferson took a brief glimpse and saw before him a woman that was very busy and moving from point to point and always in a rush. She was wearing heels, a shirt, and a suit coat that made her look as professional as her husband. The doctor remained standing at the door and glanced at the woman without saying a single word, still blocking her entrance into the room. ¡°Excuse me,¡± Vicky said, expecting him to step aside. ¡°No,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°I don¡¯t think I will.¡± ¡°I beg your pardon?¡± Vicky asked, sensing his hostility. ¡°It¡¯s you who should be begging,¡± Jefferson retorted, ¡°As your behavior is not only inappropriate but grossly disrespectful.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry for being late,¡± Vicky said, as she appeared to be prepping for today¡¯s excuse. ¡°I¡¯m sure you are,¡± Jefferson said, as he did believe her, ¡°But by not being here at the scheduled time, you have not only denigrated your husband, but myself as well. If you want to be any part of this process, you have to start by respecting it.¡± ¡°I do respect this process,¡± Vicky insisted. ¡°You may believe that, but your actions say otherwise.¡± Jefferson disagreed, ¡°In order to respect the process, you have to be punctual. If you¡¯re not present when the session begins, you will not be allowed to participate.¡± ¡°What?¡± Vicky said, as she couldn¡¯t believe what she was being told. ¡°Our time is very valuable, Mrs. Fletcher,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°So I believe the best way to show you that is to waste some of yours. If if you cannot recognize and accept the rules of this office, then you will not be welcome here. See you next week.¡± Before Vicky had a chance to spit out a response, Jefferson slammed the door in her face. Jefferson slowly walked back to his chair, picked up his pad, and then sat back down. He looked back up at Tom who had a stunned look upon his face. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you just did that,¡± Tom said. ¡°Believe it,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°If you do not respect your boundaries, no one else will. I¡¯ve dealt with people who are chronically late, and sometimes you must be tough with them in order to get them to respect the process. She never replied to your messages, never gave us a heads up, and pretty much gave us a no call no show for almost half the session. I do not tolerate this kind of insolence, and neither should you. You know the meaning of being punctual because of your profession. What would happen to you if you showed up a half hour late for court?¡± ¡°Shit,¡± Tom said, almost cringing at the thought, ¡°We¡¯d be deep trouble, and could face sanctions or even jail time. We just don¡¯t do it.¡± ¡°This is no different,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I¡¯m letting your wife know that if she¡¯s not on time, there are consequences. So, we were talking about gothic fiction and Bram Stoker, weren¡¯t we?¡± Session # 6: Savannah When the young teenager arrived, she had an air about here that reeked of something that Jefferson found all too familiar. The girl had a presence about her when she entered the office, as if Cleopatra herself was entering the throne room. She wasn¡¯t wearing anything provocative, as she was wearing a school uniform as she had come straight to Jefferson¡¯s office from there. She had a knapsack that looked overfilled with stuff. It looked like a pack a soldier might wear when in the trenches of war, stuffed to the point where it felt like it was going to explode. Without being asked, the snooty teen dropped the knapsack down beside the couch and proceeded to sit down without being asked. It gave Jefferson the sense that she was familiar with the process and wasn¡¯t in the mood to waste anyone¡¯s time. Her hair was a bright blonde, and it was split up into two pig tails, that no doubt made her look appealing to her classmates. She had an attitude that suggested she might not give a crap about what anyone thought about her, but that might have been a fa?ade. Jefferson was no stranger to this kind of nonchalant attitude, as he was a father of a few snooty teens himself. He had walked through this mine field before and was ready to try again for the sake of his patient. Jefferson took a deep breath and then walked over to his own chair and took a seat. ¡°Good afternoon,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°I¡¯m Doctor Jefferson.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± the young girl replied. ¡°And you are?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Don¡¯t you know?¡± The girl sniped back. ¡°Of course I do,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But I¡¯m asking you to return to my decorum by introducing yourself. It¡¯s what civilized people do when meeting fort he first time.¡± ¡°Is it now?¡± the girl replied, ¡°Are you saying I¡¯m not civilized?¡± ¡°Not yet,¡± Jefferson said, looking amused. ¡°Are you?¡± ¡°No,¡± the girl answered. ¡°I¡¯m Savannah.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you, Savannah.¡± Jefferson added. ¡°Is it?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°I hope so,¡± Jefferson honestly replied, ¡°I try to see the best in people rather than assume they¡¯re all going to be trouble.¡± ¡°Uh huh,¡± Savannah said, nearing grunting it. ¡°So you¡¯re more of a hope for the best, prepare for the worst kinda guy then?¡± ¡°You could say that,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°Are you?¡± ¡°Not really,¡± Savannah said, ¡°I tend to often get caught off guard, but I usually work through it and make the best out of things.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not an easy thing to do,¡± Jefferson noted, ¡°We call that real time troubleshooting.¡± ¡°What do you mean real time?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°It means something that is occurring in the right now,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°As in right now¡­ real time. To solve things like that on the fly is a sign of elevated intelligence and strength.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Savannah said, looking rather surprised about it. ¡°I just thought I was lazy. At least that what my parents think.¡± ¡°Your parents think you¡¯re lazy?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°They do, but I disagree with them.¡± Savannah said, laying her head on the back of the couch and scanning the room. ¡°I get bored easily, and I tend to move on quickly rather than commit to tasks.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°So if you become bored of something, you pass on it as if it¡¯s a waste of your time¡­ that the task is somehow beneath you?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t say that,¡± Savannah countered, ¡°Some of that¡¯s true, I guess.¡± ¡°How old are you?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Don¡¯t you know?¡± Savannah said, almost in a degrading way. ¡°Fuck, it¡¯s like you showed up for an exam without studying! Didn¡¯t you read my file?¡± ¡°I did,¡± Jefferson said, amused by the girls metaphor. ¡°But I want to hear how you answer it. You may not believe it, but how you answer basic questions tells me a lot about you. This is why I ask my patients the basics to hear how they respond to it in their own words. I know you¡¯re fourteen, but I want to hear how you classify your age. I want to know if you consider yourself a teenager, a girl, or even a young woman. How you word them will give me a lot of Intel that will in turn point me in the direction I think we need to go.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Savannah said, rather fascinated by it. ¡°I¡¯m going to be fifteen next November, on the seventeenth. I also do not consider myself a girl, a teen, or even a young woman.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Jefferson asked, as his curiosity peaked. ¡°What do you refer to yourself as, Savannah?¡± ¡°Human,¡± Savannah replied, ¡°An equal member of this global community.¡± ¡°I hate to break it to you, Savannah,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°But not all members of this world are considered or treated as equals. Where we are born, and other factors often lead to some people treated and considered as more valuable. I¡¯m not saying it¡¯s right, but that¡¯s just how things are in certain parts of this planet.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not fair,¡± Savannah said. ¡°The world isn¡¯t fair, little one.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean we have to accept it as it is. We can fight for change, and it might take a while for things to change to occur, but it does happen on occasion.¡± ¡°Whatever,¡± Savannah said, almost hitting as reset button on their session but not quite. ¡°If that doesn¡¯t interest you,¡± Jefferson said, deflected her glib statement. ¡°Why do you tell me why your parents felt it was necessary for you to see me. Why do the people who brought you into this world believe that you are in need of professional help?¡± ¡°They¡¯re the ones who are crazy,¡± Savannah said, ¡°Freaking out about something that is no big deal.¡± ¡°What are they freaking out about?¡± Jefferson asked, trying to use the first opening he noticed. ¡°I¡¯m not talking about that,¡± Savannah said, ¡°I tried to keep it a secret, but someone dragged it out into the light.¡± ¡°And you weren¡¯t ready for that?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Fuck, no!¡± Savannah shouted. ¡°Please, watch your language.¡± Jefferson said, as he sighed deeply. Savannah wasn¡¯t the only patient to cuss, but he tended to let certain people get away with it, especially if they were adults. It was hard enough for Jefferson to get the young teen to respect the process, so he had to be tough about a lot of things, especially the crude language. ¡°Sorry,¡± Savannah said, sounding rather sincere. ¡°I tend to swear when I want to emphasize how I feel.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But if you could try to restrain yourself a bit, I will try to appreciate when you feel certain moments are suitable for such cusses. Alright?¡± The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°I suppose,¡± Savannah said, ¡°I like to swear.¡± ¡°I do too,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But if you do it to much, the words in question tend to lose their value. Their emphasis, as you put it, gets lost if you toss them out too often. If you refrain from using them that much, the times when you do use will have the effect that you greatly desire.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll try to remember that,¡± Savannah said, conceding the point. ¡°Thank you,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I appreciate your efforts.¡± ¡°Well, they¡¯re still idiots.¡± Savannah resumed. ¡°Your parents?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°That¡¯s rather harsh.¡± ¡°Not of it¡¯s true,¡± Savannah countered, ¡°Sometimes the truth hurts, and that isn¡¯t my fault for being honest with them.¡± ¡°I get that,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°But there is such a thing as being brutally honest. The truth can hurt, and sometimes people use that as a weapon just so they can watch someone metaphorically bleed.¡± ¡°You think that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°No,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°You telling me what you think is the truth, for the sake of truth rather than to be humiliating. Why do you think they¡¯re idiots?¡± ¡°Because they¡¯re trapped in the past,¡± Savannah said, ¡°Trapped by culture, beliefs and even creeds that prevent them from seeing the world that way that it really is.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°And you don¡¯t share those views?¡± ¡°No way,¡± Savannah confirmed, ¡°Not even a little bit. They can take that self-righteous traditions and stick it up their¡­ well, where the sun don¡¯t shine.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± Jefferson said, as he was getting a feel for what was going on. ¡°I take it from your answers that you are not religious.¡± ¡°Is there anything wrong with that?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°Not in the slightest,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You are quite literally preaching to the choir here, if you¡¯ll excuse my corny metaphor.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Savannah said, rather surprised. ¡°I was expecting you to be just like them, and maybe even follow the same things. ¡°I¡¯m not sure who recommended me to your parents,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°But the subject of religion never came up when I spoke with them about you. I could tell they appeared to be traditional based on a few factors but that never came up in my actual conversation with them.¡± ¡°That is so odd,¡± Savannah said, ¡°They talk about it a home all the time as if it¡¯s the only thing that matters.¡± ¡°That is rather interesting,¡± Jefferson said, considering that their lack of questions regarding religion led them to send Savannah to starting doing therapy with a fellow non believer. Jefferson would be the last person to bash religion while in session, but he wasn¡¯t going to allow it to be promoted in his presence either. The doctor preferred to remain as neutral as possible when it came to organized religion, but he was starting to get the feeling that might not be avoidable in this instance. ¡°Are your parents aware of your humanism?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°Do you attend church with them? Give window dressing every Sunday?¡± ¡°I used to,¡± Savannah said, thinking about it. ¡°But I got bored and stopped indulging them a while back.¡± ¡°Is that why your parents are concerned?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Sort of,¡± Savannah said, ¡°They actually disapprove of the person that I wanted to hang out with.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You¡¯re dating someone?¡± ¡°No,¡± Savannah said, ¡°I¡¯m not ready to date. I said hang out with, but they assume people who share a space for too long must be dating or fu¡­ doing things that are not allowed before marriage.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a rather big assumption, Savannah.¡± Jefferson noted, ¡°Are their assumptions true or just hot air coming from helicopter parents?¡± ¡°Hot air,¡± Savannah answered, ¡°I¡¯m not ready for that either.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that.¡± Jefferson added. ¡°You are?¡± Savannah said, rather grossed out. ¡°Not that way,¡± Jefferson said, aware his statement was misinterpreted. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you the same thing I told my kids. Whenever the time comes that they decide to engage in this kind of behavior, I hope that they do it for themselves and not to please someone else. Admitting that you¡¯re not ready tells me you take the matter seriously, and that was what I was glad to hear. That you respect yourself and your body is something that should be to be admired, cherished. That¡¯s call integrity.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Savannah said, easing up a bit. ¡°Sorry about that.¡± ¡°It¡¯s alright,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I¡¯ll try to chose my words a little more carefully in the future.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± Savannah said, ¡°I wish my parents would be just half as considerate as you are regarding my situation.¡± ¡°What are they not being considerate about?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°You¡¯re going to have to tell me in order for us to work through it. Why did your parents send you here?¡± ¡°Because I kissed someone,¡± Savannah answered. ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I take it this was no ordinary kiss.¡± ¡°You are correct,¡± Savannah confirmed, ¡°This was my first kiss, and my parents reacted like I had just committed a mortal sin.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you just exaggerating a bit here?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°I wish I was,¡± Savannah insisted, ¡°They literally told me what I did was a sin before god, and that if I didn¡¯t stop I would burn in hell for all eternity.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a terrible thing to say,¡± Jefferson responded, with an air of disgust in his voice, ¡°Especially to one¡¯s own child.¡± ¡°I agree,¡± Savannah said, ¡°But that is exactly what they said.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry you had to hear that,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°In my opinion the threat of hellfire and damnation is nothing short of child abuse. It¡¯s unfair to burden any child with dogma, let alone threaten them if they don¡¯t follow it to their liking. Quite frankly, I find it appalling.¡± ¡°Amen to that,¡± Savannah said, and they shared a laugh. ¡°It can¡¯t be this simple,¡± Jefferson said, as he continued to pry. ¡°I realize a kiss can be important, but why are your parents freaking out so much?¡± ¡°It was because of who kissed me rather than the kiss itself.¡± Savannah said, ¡°The whole reason for their offense actually repulses me.¡± ¡°Why are they so offended?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°Was the boy in question of a different ethnic background, or creed even?¡± ¡°No,¡± Savannah replied, ¡°The person who kissed me wasn¡¯t even a boy.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson said, as he let that hang for a moment. Seconds later he realized he needed to be more direct. ¡°Are you gay, Savannah?¡± ¡°Honestly,¡± Savannah said, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°That¡¯s interesting,¡± Jefferson noted, ¡°Saying I don¡¯t know is the most honest thing someone can say. People are often afraid to speak those three words, to the point where some consider it brave to even mutter.¡± ¡°So you don¡¯t care that I kissed a girl?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°I know your parents think otherwise but how you like your eggs done has no effect on my or my own relationships. Considering how religious your parents are, I¡¯m starting to realize why they suddenly think you need to speak with me.¡± ¡°They don¡¯t want a gay daughter,¡± Savannah said, ¡°Their homophobia is shocking and makes me sick to my stomach.¡± ¡°Does it upset you because you might be gay yourself?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°Are you scared that your parents might reject you?¡± ¡°You mean more than they already do?¡± Savannah answered, ¡°They¡¯ve torn down anything from my walls that even looks remotely gay. I came home and various posters and CDs were missing from my room. They even forbid me from seeing the girl who kissed me, which is near impossible since we both attend the same damn school?¡± ¡°That must be very frustrating,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°To be order not to hang out with someone, and because of rather superficial reasons as well.¡± ¡°It is,¡± Savannah admitted, ¡°They such bigoted idiots.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry you have to deal with this,¡± Jefferson added, ¡°But unfortunately it¡¯s not illegal to be a bigoted idiot.¡± ¡°How can they forbid me to see someone that I like?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°They can¡¯t,¡± Jefferson reminded her, ¡°Like you said, the task is pretty much impossible. It¡¯s like China trying to outlaw religion. Sure, they can try to burn as many books as they can and imprison people who don¡¯t follow the law, but you cannot ban thoughts or how people feel. That same standard applies to you and this girl who kissed you.¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t talked to her since it happened,¡± Savannah said. ¡°When did it happen?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Two weeks ago,¡± Savannah answered, ¡°I just don¡¯t know what to think.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You should never feel rushed, and can take all the time you need to process. Yet there is one thing that you need to know while thinking about it.¡± ¡°And what is that?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°That their anger might not be just about this girl,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°As a father I can testify that if my fourteen your old kissed anyone, boy or girl, I would respond in a similar fashion to how your parents did. Some people believe that you¡¯re too young to do things like this and should wait until you¡¯re older to tackle what are consider adult issues. There is a very good chance that your parents might have responded the same way if a boy had kissed you instead. I¡¯m sure they might be a bit angrier it was a girl, but I can assure you that the kiss itself is a reason for their anger too. Okay?¡± ¡°I suppose,¡± Savannah said, as she seemed to understand. ¡°It just upset me to hear them say such bigoted things.¡± ¡°I can imagine it was,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°To hear someone you respect say such hateful and hurtful things. I¡¯m sorry you had to hear that.¡± ¡°Do you think what I did was wrong?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°A part of me wants to say no,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But to be honest¡­ there¡¯s another part of me that believes that a kiss is a very important thing. It means something, and it should be taken seriously.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Savannah said, ¡°That makes sense, I guess.¡± ¡°We can work on all if this if you want,¡± Jefferson offered, ¡°I can offer you a place that is free of judgement. Somewhere that you can talk freely about what¡¯s on your mind, without fearing your parents learning about it.¡± ¡°You won¡¯t tell them?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°There are strict guidelines concerning this,¡± Jefferson explained, ¡°The only time I can break your trust is if I feel you are about to harm someone, or yourself. Either than that, I cannot tell anyone what goes on here¡­ even your parents.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Savannah said, ¡°That sounds cool.¡± ¡°Glad to hear it,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°So what is this girl¡¯s name?¡± A small smile slowly appeared on Savannah¡¯s face. ¡°Crystal.¡± Session #7: Amanda This particular week Jefferson wasn¡¯t as nervous as he was the previous week when he had met up with Amanda. While the topic of transference came up, it was dealt with maturely and Jefferson was hoping they could continue their sessions and get back on track to help the young lady work on other issues which was the origin of her coming to his office every week. Jefferson spent the better part of a week, an hour here and an hour there, going over Amanda¡¯s extensive file hoping that this week they might be able to move past the Transference and start to dig a little deeper this time out. Even if he had to only do one layer at a time, as if the young woman were an onion, it was one step that needed to be made today to start that process. Jefferson was hoping that the connection they shared and the deal they made would open the door and allow him to reach a part of her that no other therapist had before. He didn¡¯t like the idea that she had seen so many therapists before him, which would no doubt begin to give Amanda a defeatist attitude considering the others that had failed to help before. This was one reason why he wasn¡¯t willing to pull the plug the moment transference came up. To quickly abandon her could have potentially caused more damage than helped her. It was a dangerous choice for Jefferson to make, but it was worth the gamble as it appeared last week she had made genuine progress while still managing to keep things strictly professional. While Jefferson knew he had to be vigilant to make sure they didn¡¯t slip up and make any mistakes, he was willing to do the extra work so that he didn¡¯t have to abandon his client. She¡¯s had too much inconsistencies already in hear life, from foster care to bouncing from one boyfriend to another. She needs something to be consistent, a place to start a foundation she could build on. Normally that foundation is supposed to be your parents, and your family. Amanda never had one, and that gap has been the start of what has been a very chaotic life thus far. Jefferson realized that they needed to address family and try to fill the gap and give her something to life for rather than pine for something that may never come along. Yet any hope for that kind of progress looked frail as Amanda stormed into the room with a chip about a large as an iceberg on her shoulder. She didn¡¯t say a word as she walked in, gave no pleasantries, and just moved over to the couch. She gave out a big huff as she sat down, as if the air was trapped until the couch released it for her. Jefferson could tell by her attitude and the disregard for his very existence that this session was going to be the exact opposite of the previous week. Jefferson was afraid a confrontation as imminent and all he could do right now was brace for impact. ¡°Good afternoon,¡± Jefferson said, still standing. He waited for a few moments, but there was no response from the woman on the couch. Amanda sat there with her arms folded, acting like a child that was getting ready to be punished by her parents, but there was no parent around to do so. Jefferson stood there and waited patiently, giving Amanda plenty of chances to complete the decorum that was extended but it never came. She was in a rather foul mood and that wasn¡¯t going to change with minor pleasantries. Jefferson decided to take a different approach as the way he¡¯d treat other clients might just make things worse. She wanted to fight, so his approach would be to avoid one and get to the root of her real issues. ¡°Did something happen on the way over to the office?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°No,¡± Amanda replied, the first thing she said since she arrived. ¡°Are you injured or require medical attention?¡± He continued. ¡°No.¡± Amanda repeated. Jefferson responded by walking over to his chair, and then sitting himself down while not taking his eyes off of her. ¡°Then talk to me,¡± Jefferson invited, ¡°What happened that has put you in such a sour mood?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if I want to talk about it,¡± Amanda replied, ¡°I mean it just happened a few hours ago.¡± ¡°What happened a few hours ago?¡± Jefferson asked, trying to show genuine interest as he was concerned about her. ¡°Well,¡± Amanda started, ¡°More like something didn¡¯t happen would be more accurate. I had a lunch date, and the jerk never showed up.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°That hurts.¡± ¡°You think?¡± Amanda asked, her question dripping with sarcasm. ¡°It definitely does,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°Been there, done that, and it sucks to be left there waiting for someone who isn¡¯t coming.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve been stood up?¡± Amanda asked, ¡°How many times?¡± ¡°More than I¡¯d like to admit,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°But it¡¯s been a while, and yet I still remember them all like it happened yesterday. That¡¯s how much they hurt, you never forget them. It¡¯s not nice to make plans and have something to look forward to only to have someone no call no show. At a call center I used to work at, that¡¯s grounds for dismissal.¡± ¡°You used to work at a call center?¡± Amanda inquired. ¡°When I was working on my doctorate,¡± Jefferson explained, ¡°College courses aren¡¯t cheap so I had to work and study at the same time. I can assure you and doing customer service at the center was beneficial to the work I do now. I gain a thick skin and great patience at that place. But I digress, being left there with no explanation is rude, and selfish of the other person. In today¡¯s world with texts, emails, and facebook, there¡¯s no reason to leave someone high and dry. It¡¯s just disrespectful and cowardly.¡± Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you were stood up,¡± Amanda repeated, ¡°How did you respond when something like that happens?¡± ¡°Sometimes I just order food and eat alone,¡± Jefferson said, as he tried to recall the memories. ¡°There was one time I showed up nicely dressed, with fresh roses and was fifteen minutes early. I looked amazing and ready to impressed and about ninety minutes after the time we agreed to met, it was clear that I had been stood up. There I was sitting in the middle of a post French restaurant and waited while over fifty others watched from their tables. They were curious to see how long I was going to hold out before giving up.¡± ¡°That¡¯s awful,¡± Amanda said, thinking about it. ¡°What did you do?¡± ¡°Nothing,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°As we passed the ninety minute mark, the hostess took pity on me. I must have looked like a lost puppy, and she took it upon herself to order something for me, and have it served without telling me. She also gave me a glass of wine to match the meal. It was very considerate of her to make others think I was waiting for my meal instead of for my date. She even gave a fake apology for my food being so late, to cover for me.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Amanda said, ¡°That was awfully nice of her.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t heard it all,¡± Jefferson said, smiling back at her. ¡°When the meal was over, which was amazing to boot, I asked her for the bill. She refused to give me one and said it was on the house. Turns out my puppy dog look was so sad they refused to charge me and comped the meal.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Amanda said, ¡°I need to set my next date for this place.¡± ¡°Even though I was stood up,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°I wasn¡¯t angry at the person for not showing up. A part of me was hoping that it wasn¡¯t anything serious such an accident, or tragic event that caused her to bail on me. That¡¯s the attitude you have to take with what happened today.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Amanda asked, not really in the mood to consider it. ¡°Until you get the reason, keep an open mind.¡± Jefferson suggested. ¡°What if he was hit by a car crossing the road and is in emerg right now? Or maybe he ran into a burning building to save a puppy?¡± ¡°That¡¯s doubtful,¡± Amanda countered, ¡°He doesn¡¯t seem the type to be that heroic.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± Jefferson conceded, ¡°But what I¡¯m asking you to do is at least give him a chance to explain himself. Whether or not his excuse is valid or total malarkey is for you to decide. I¡¯m merely suggesting you hear it first before judging whether or not his excuse for standing you up is valid. If your ego is the worst thing damaged, that¡¯s a good thing. I know you hate him right now, but find out why he wasn¡¯t there first before passing judgement. You never know, it might be a very good excuse.¡± ¡°Or it could be total bullshit,¡± Amanda countered, ¡°And the asshole just forgot or slept in.¡± ¡°Very possible,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°And if that was the excuse, then kick his sorry ass to the curb.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± Amanda said, appearing to look a little more relaxed. ¡°Don¡¯t let it ruin your day,¡± Jefferson recommended, ¡°The day is still young and it can turn around rather easily.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Amanda said, as she was interested in the idea. ¡°What do you think I should do?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°That depends on what interests you. If you¡¯re into art, go to a gallery. If you like sports, see who¡¯s playing today and just buy a last minute ticket. Even if you¡¯re in the upper deck, that¡¯s where the more dedicated fans are, you¡¯d have more fun. Or you can see a movie if there¡¯s anything worth seeing at your local cinema.¡± ¡°Ugh,¡± Amanda said, ¡°Today¡¯s movies are total crap.¡± ¡°Unfortunately, I agree.¡± Jefferson said, grinning back at her. ¡°There is a small locally run theatre not far from here that I like to go to. All these show are classic movies like Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, and countless other movies that are just the best. Last time I went they were showing Citizen Kane and that was quite enjoyable because I had never seen it on the big screen before. Sometimes I just like to buy a ticket and see something myself, and remove the pressure of having to behave or act a certain way with someone else. Don¡¯t be afraid to go solo because it removes a lot of the pressure.¡± ¡°I like that,¡± Amanda admitted, ¡°Is there any chance you can give me an address for this theatre, it sounds like fun.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll write it down for you when we¡¯re done,¡± Jefferson said, happy to see that Amanda was embracing the idea. ¡°So that¡¯s your advice?¡± Amanda asked, somewhat confused. ¡°Go solo and give up on finding someone to share my life with.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t say that,¡± Jefferson corrected, ¡°And I¡¯ll counter that with what I believe is the best love advice that was ever given to me. A very smart person told me this after something didn¡¯t work out for me. He told me to stop looking for love and just do my own thing, and when the time was right love would come looking for me. That¡¯s the advice I would give you, Amanda. Pay more attention to family and friends, your work, and your own life. Chances are when someone sees you living life, and even enjoying it, that¡¯s when someone great will come into your life and want to be a part of yours.¡± ¡°Did that work for you?¡± she asked. ¡°I kind of did,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I found someone a short time later, and that marriage lasted a while. Now I intend to follow the same advice again, and if it worked for me it just might for you as well. If someone sees you hanging out with friends, seeing a movie with someone, you¡¯re projected a positive image and that will in turn attract better people into your life.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± Amanda admitted, ¡°That¡¯s pretty sound advice. No one has ever said something like that to me before.¡± ¡°I¡¯m aware of that,¡± Jefferson confessed, ¡°You¡¯ve missed out on a lot of guidance that should have been given to you at an early age. It¡¯s like being dropped into a strange land without a map or any kind of advice. It¡¯s no wonder that you bumped into a few dead ends.¡± ¡°Well, mom passed away when I was very young.¡± Amanda said, ¡°And I was very young and she never told me about my father, so he¡¯s not around either.¡± ¡°You were in foster care for quite a while,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°That can¡¯t be easy on anyone, going from one place to another. That kind of change makes it hard for someone to settle and get their life in order.¡± ¡°I¡¯m been doing better,¡± Amanda added, ¡°Since I started living on my own. I may have a crappy apartment, but it¡¯s mine and no one can take it away as long as I keep kicking ass at work.¡± ¡°Happy to hear you¡¯re kicking ass,¡± Jefferson noted, ¡°Don¡¯t let things like today bug you more than they should. Do something fun with friends, and it doesn¡¯t have to be drinking at bars. See a show, take a hike, go bowling.¡± ¡°Bowling?¡± Amanda repeated with a weird look, ¡°Seriously?¡± ¡°Maybe I am,¡± Jefferson doubled down, ¡°Avoid the usual dating traps and just have fun with people from work or old school friends. Reconnect with people who want to be with you and just have fun. Do your own thing and wait for someone special to approach you.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Amanda said, ¡°Not the worst idea I¡¯ve ever heard.¡± ¡°That¡¯s nice to hear,¡± Jefferson said, and he sat back and sighed, ¡°Now tell me about the rest of your week.¡± Session #8: Gilbert When Gilbert arrived for his appointment, something felt different to his therapist. The man wasn¡¯t wearing a suit, but instead was more casual as he strode in wearing a pair of kakis and a white dress shirt that was absent a tie, had the top two buttons open, and had the sleeves rolled up. He seemed very pleasant as well as he strolled over to the couch and took his spot and just sat back with a huge sigh. He looked like a man that was no longer carrying the world on his shoulders and Gil looked so much better than the many times he had come through this door for prior sessions. Jefferson couldn¡¯t help but thing that unburdening himself of his secret in their last meeting was the source of his relief, so the therapist was eager to see of his theory was indeed correct or if something else was causing this euphoria for Gilbert. ¡°You looked rested,¡± Jefferson observed, ¡°Less stressed than I can remember you ever being since we started meeting.¡± ¡°What can I say?¡± Gil asked as he sighed again, ¡°After we talked last week, I just felt so unburdened after telling you my big secret. The fact that there is one less person or place where I don¡¯t have to act differently and just be myself is such a relief. For the first time in years, I can be myself here and not have to worry about getting caught or being ratted out. It makes me that much more eager to come down here and see you. I realize we still have to act serious and work on our issues, but the fact that I can be one hundred percent honest with you from here out allows me to make a better effort since I no longer have to hide anything from you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Because the more honest we can be with one another, the more progress we can make. So, let¡¯s start off with something simple; how is the family doing?¡± ¡°Which one?¡± Gil replied with a sly grin. ¡°Walked right into that one, didn¡¯t I?¡± Jefferson said, as he even laughed at bit since Gil was messing with him. ¡°I don¡¯t get to say that,¡± Gil admitted, ¡°Always wanted to.¡± ¡°I get it,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Technically when I ask that I am referring to both, since they¡¯re all your family. I can assume that you care about both wives, and all your children equally so they are all a part of your extended family.¡± ¡°True,¡± Gil agreed, ¡°But I might want to keep things separate so you know which family I¡¯m referring to whenever I speak about them.¡± ¡°You mean like first family, and second family?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°That could work for now,¡± Gil said, ¡°Until we can come up with something better, alright?¡± ¡°Sounds fair,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°So how is the first family doing?¡± ¡°They¡¯re doing alright,¡± Gil said, smiling at the thought. ¡°They¡¯re all in high school and making good grades. ¡°And the second family, are they in school too?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°They are, but only in elementary.¡± Gil answered, ¡°Feels weird to be going to everything all over again, such as kindergarten and the early grades again.¡± ¡°Is that a bad thing, like old reruns?¡± Jefferson inquired. ¡°Quite the opposite,¡± Gil said, ¡°Having new kids and doing this over again feels new and refreshing. I forget how much I missed walking kids to school and picking them up. It reminds me of the first family and when I did it for them and how I missed it and was happy to do it again.¡± ¡°So, interacting with the new kids,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°reminds you of times past with your previous family? That¡¯s very interesting.¡± ¡°They''re so similar in many ways,¡± Gil said, ¡°I often see those similarities but am unable to even mention it. The burden of secrets.¡± ¡°Secrets can be unhealthy,¡± Jefferson explained, ¡°I sometimes compare keeping secrets to an active volcano. If you don¡¯t release any pressure, it will keep building until you erupt. When that happens, then anyone around you could get hurt and you can¡¯t control who gets hit in the crossfire. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Never really thought of it that way,¡± Gil said, as he seemed rather intrigued by the metaphor. ¡°Have you ever had any close encounters?¡± Jefferson inquired, ¡°A moment where both of your families almost bumped into one another?¡± ¡°No,¡± Gil answered rather quickly. ¡°And I work very hard to make sure that never happens.¡± ¡°How so?¡± Jefferson asked, rather curious about that answer. ¡°I have trackers installed on everyone¡¯s phones,¡± Gil answered, ¡°So I know where everyone is at any given time. I even had a tech that I trust program an app for me that sets off an alarm if anyone gets to close to one another. So far that¡¯s never happened cause they¡¯re both in different states, but I¡¯ll know if that kind of near miss ever happens.¡± ¡°Wow, I had no idea you could trace people like that,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I have more than a few clients who would find that rather disturbing. Do you think your kids or wives would like it if they knew you were monitoring them like this?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t monitor them,¡± Gil corrected, ¡°I never look at the thing. The only time I ever would is if the alarm went off.¡± ¡°Oh, I guess that doesn¡¯t sound so bad.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Some parents like to know where their kid is at all times.¡± ¡°I¡¯m tempted to check, but I often fight the urge off.¡± Gil reassured him, ¡°But if a school calls me asking why someone is absent, it¡¯s nice to know I can track them and find out what¡¯s going on.¡± ¡°Not a bad idea,¡± Jefferson said, taking a note to look into it himself. ¡°I¡¯m just wondering if your kids or spouses would be as understanding.¡± ¡°Probably not,¡± Gil conceded, ¡°But I do it for peace of mind.¡± ¡°How close do they have to get for the alarm to go off?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°One mile,¡± Gil answered, ¡°That¡¯s about as close as I want anyone to get. They¡¯re supposed to be states apart, and my biggest fear is everyone finding out what I have going on.¡± ¡°Is that really your biggest fear?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°Being discovered, or what happens after that discovery?¡± ¡°I supposed you¡¯re right,¡± Gil said, thinking about it. ¡°My greatest fear would be losing everything I have and getting divorced. I would miss everyone so much, and I don¡¯t want to be alone.¡± ¡°That¡¯s interesting,¡± Jefferson said, taking note. ¡°When was the last time that happened?¡± ¡°When what happened?¡± Gil asked. ¡°When you were alone,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°All by yourself. How long has it been since you were on your own for a decent amount of time?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Gil said, pondering the inquiry. ¡°I¡¯d say when I was twenty-three, just after I graduated from university.¡± ¡°What did you do after university?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°I took a job overseas,¡± Gil answered, ¡°I traveled to Asia, and taught English as a second language for a few years.¡± ¡°You did that on your own?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°Just moved to a new place with no one else?¡± ¡°Yeah, I did.¡± Gil said, thinking nothing of it. ¡°I used to travel on my own all the time, to places where I didn¡¯t know a soul and made out just fine.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good to hear,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°That kind of solitude can be torturous for some people, and I thought being alone might do that for you, but this appears to contradict that.¡± ¡°I used to be okay alone,¡± Gil confirmed, ¡°But since I had kids, the idea of not seeing them or spending time just feels so different, so quiet.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°So this fear of being alone isn¡¯t because you can¡¯t do it, it¡¯s because you don¡¯t want to be away from your children.¡± ¡°I will have to let them go some time,¡± Gil admitted, ¡°But hopefully not too soon. They need to stop growing.¡± ¡°They never will, I¡¯m afraid.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Time comes for us all.¡± Both men sat there and thought over it for a few minutes, as their current session was a little deeper than expected. Finally, it was Gil who made the first motion as he stood up and started to pace around. Eventually he flung up his hands to make a statement. ¡°I¡¯m not afraid to lose them,¡± Gil said, I¡¯m just afraid I¡¯ll lose everyone at once and get hit with it all in one foul swoop. Sand-bagged with the whole thing, and that I won¡¯t be able to handle it; losing everyone at once.¡± ¡°I see you¡¯ve thought about this a lot,¡± Jefferson said, trying not to make light of what was just revealed. ¡°Maybe you need to make a plan of what you can do if such a tragic event were to occur.¡± ¡°What kind of plans?¡± Gil asked, rather curious himself. ¡°Like if you got kicked out of both houses,¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°Where would you sleep that night?¡± ¡°Good question,¡± Gil said, pondering it. ¡°I guess I could crash with a pal or my brother, just long enough to get another place.¡± ¡°Or you could set a place up now,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Prepare for the worst while hoping that nothing happens.¡± ¡°Who would live there when I¡¯m not?¡± Gil asked. ¡°Get someone to squat,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°A friend or a neutral roomie.¡± ¡°Not a bad idea,¡± Gil said, ¡°I¡¯ll have to think about it.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want the worst to happen,¡± Jefferson added, ¡°But failing to plan is planning to fail. This is the best way to minimize the fall if it ever happens.¡± ¡°I got it, but let¡¯s talk about something else,¡± Gil said, checking his watch. ¡°We have a little time to cover what¡¯s happening at work.¡± Jefferson leaned forward, ¡°What¡¯s going on at work?¡± Session #9: Francis Jefferson had a lot of work to do to prepare himself for the second session with this particular client. He spent the better part of the weekend going through all of the notes that the client had been provided at the end of his first session. He read every detail and scoured through everything his former colleague has written about this patient. When Jefferson had finished going through the entire file, it had backed up everything Francis had said during their first session. Regardless of his feelings, his urges as he called them, Francis had never given into them and no one up to this point had been harmed. The reason why Frank was going to therapy at all was to make sure it stayed that way; that no harm would come to any man, woman, and especially children. Part of Jefferson applauded the man for seeking help and doing everything in his power to prevent any incident for happening, as most people with demons like this would just keep them bottled inside and fight them on their own, alone. It takes courage to step up and ask for help, especially considering how most rational people might respond if they ever knew the sick, perverse thoughts that were inside his head. There are many people who believe Francis should be dragged out into the streets and shot for thinking of such things, let alone doing them. Jefferson did his best to control his thoughts, as their next appointment approached. Regardless of how he felt about the man and what he revealed in previous session, he knew that there was only one way to deal with this situation. He would be completely honest with the man and let the chips fall where they may. This was bound to be one of the toughest sessions he had in years, but Jefferson knew this had to be done properly for there to be anymore contact with this client. Matters would have to be handled with care, and respect so that he could try to provide Frank with the same help his previous therapist did. When the light came on to let him know that Frank had arrived, Jefferson took a deep breath before walking up to the door and opening it up. ¡°Frank,¡± Jefferson said, greeting him with a warm smile. ¡°Welcome back.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Frank said, as he strolled into the room, hanging his coat on the rack before making his way to the couch. He took a seat and took a deep breath and watched Jefferson walk over this his own chair and sit down. ¡°I went over Doctor Stevens notes,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°Every note on every page provided.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Frank said, looking rather nervous. ¡°I apologize if some of it was rather difficult for you to digest.¡± ¡°I appreciate that,¡± Jefferson said, trying to find the right words. ¡°I admire the work you and Doctor Stevens have done over the last several years, and I would like to do what I can to continue that work.¡± Frank let out a deep sigh. ¡°Thank you,¡± Frank said, ¡°I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that.¡± ¡°I am going to have rules,¡± Jefferson added, ¡°Very strict rules that you must abide by if you want this therapy to continue.¡± ¡°I will do whatever I must to earn your trust,¡± Frank said, ¡°I want this process to work, and I will give the same vigilant effort that I did for Stevens. No one want this to work more than I do.¡± ¡°I doubt any of this has been easy for you,¡± Jefferson said, as he read as much in the notes from his previous doctor. ¡°The alcoholic metaphor you used in our previous session is quite accurate,¡± Frank explained, ¡°It¡¯s a metaphor that Stevens liked to use often, and we often spoke that way so that if we were ever overheard, we would lie and state that I was an actual alcoholic.¡± ¡°That¡¯s quite clever,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Despite the deceit, it¡¯s a clever way to talk about your issue without actually saying it.¡± ¡°Like an alcoholic,¡± Frank continued, ¡°I stay away from places that would tempt me or cause me to have urges that I don¡¯t want to feel.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a good way to approach the issue,¡± Jefferson said, thinking about it, ¡°That means you stay away from parks, schools, and other places that might cause problems?¡± ¡°I do,¡± Frank concurred, ¡°I¡¯ve made great efforts to keep my distance, to stay away from them and keep them away from me as much as possible, but no process or effort is ever perfect.¡± ¡°I suppose not,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°What happens when you are in their presence, and cannot avoid them in certain situations?¡± ¡°I made the effort to remove myself,¡± Frank explained, ¡°If someone that makes me uncomfortable walks onto my elevator, then I¡¯ll get off and take another elevator or even the stairs if I must.¡± ¡°That is dedication,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°How do others see or respond to your avoidance?¡± A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. ¡°I tell people that I hate kids,¡± Frank replied, ¡°I tell everyone that I despise them and never want to be around them. They seem to buy that, and it lowers my rate of incidence.¡± ¡°That¡¯s another interesting approach,¡± Jefferson noted, ¡°And there are people out there who feel that way so it¡¯s not entirely hard for people to believe, even if it¡¯s not true in your case.¡± ¡°I wish it were true,¡± Frank admitted, ¡°It would make my live so much easier to endure.¡± ¡°Something I¡¯ve been meaning to ask,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°How do you deal with the children within your own family?¡± ¡°That¡¯s easy, I just don¡¯t speak to them.¡± Frank said, rather casually. ¡°You don¡¯t speak to any of them?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°I do not,¡± Frank confirmed, ¡°I made the effort to burn those bridges and I managed to torch them all quite well. None of my family members want anything to do with me and keep their distance. I¡¯ve made no effort to speak to them and avoid them out of choice and necessity. ¡°So, you¡¯ve never interacted with nieces or nephews?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Never met them,¡± Frank said, ¡°And maybe when they¡¯re in their late twenties or early thirties, I might try to get to know them.¡± ¡°That¡¯s very interesting,¡± Jefferson said, taking notes of his own. ¡°And what about your own children?¡± ¡°They do not exist,¡± Frank informed him, ¡°I never had any, and I likely never will.¡± ¡°That¡¯s rather confident of you,¡± Jefferson noted, ¡°How can you guarantee that?¡± ¡°I had a vasectomy,¡± Frank replied, ¡°I will never be having any children of my own, period.¡± ¡°That feels like a drastic measure,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Do you not feel bad about leaving a legacy or carrying on the family name?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± Frank said, not sounding that upset by it. ¡°My brothers have taken care of the family name, so there¡¯s no pressure. When I pass on, I¡¯ll leave what I have to them or their kids. I might even leave a large chunk of it to charity to spread the love as they say.¡± ¡°That is very kind of you,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But is there more to that?¡± ¡°There is,¡± Frank said, ¡°I¡¯m afraid that if I ever had any kids, they might be just like me, and I¡¯d be adding more predators into the world. There¡¯s also no guarantee that they¡¯d be able to control themselves, to I thought it was best that I didn¡¯t procreate as a precaution.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a tough confession to make,¡± Jefferson added. ¡°It¡¯s a hard truth I had to admit a while back,¡± Frank said, ¡°I made the decision to have no kids a long time ago, and just did it. That also happens to back up the whole ¡°I hate kids¡± charade that I have going as well. Considering the issue that we¡¯re dealing with this was the best decision moving forward. I haven¡¯t regretted it yet and I doubt I ever will. This is what¡¯s best for everyone involved.¡± ¡°Well, if you have no family,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°Then what do you do for fun? To entertain yourself?¡± ¡°The same things most people do,¡± Frank answered, ¡°I go out for dinner with friends, maybe hit a gallery or museum. Watch movies and bad television, and even take the odd vacation whenever I can.¡± ¡°So, you keep yourself busy,¡± Jefferson acknowledged. ¡°What about a hobby? Physical activities?¡± ¡°I work out privately,¡± Frank answered, ¡°I have a personal trainer that kicks my sorry ass every week. I play sports but am careful about what leagues I sign up for and take the usual precautions.¡± ¡°It feels like you¡¯re always on the look out,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Do you ever get a chance to relax and let those defenses down?¡± ¡°I do,¡± Frank admitted, ¡°But most of the time that happens when I¡¯m alone at home and watch movies or bad television. Never miss a single episode of Survivor or Law & Order.¡± ¡°I binge old shows that have been gone for a while,¡± Jefferson countered, ¡°Better to watch a series that is already done than wait week to week for more. I don¡¯t have to patience to follow a weekly show anymore. The streamers have hooked me on the binge, and I prefer to wait until everything is over and watch it all at once.¡± ¡°That sucks the fun out of it,¡± Frank said, ¡°The best part was anticipating the coming week ahead and looking forward to new stuff.¡± ¡°I suppose,¡± Jefferson conceded, ¡°But at least you have something to distract you and keep you busy.¡± ¡°I try my best,¡± Frank said, ¡°But often if I can¡¯t find something to do, I¡¯ll just get back to work and use it to distract myself.¡± ¡°That¡¯s productive,¡± Jefferson admitted, ¡°But all work and no play makes Frank a very dull boy.¡± ¡°I¡¯m aware,¡± Frank conceded, ¡°But I¡¯d rather be dull if it keeps me busy.¡± ¡°So how does this work?¡± Jefferson said, holding up the phone his client gave him the week before. ¡°What do I do with this?¡± ¡°You keep that,¡± Frank informed him, ¡°That¡¯s my lifeline to you. The only time it will ever ring is if I¡¯m in crisis and need your immediate help.¡± ¡°How often did that happen with my predecessor?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Only twice over several years,¡± Frank said, ¡°But both times I had blown something out of proportion and wasn¡¯t even close to where I thought I was. Yet that means you have to keep that close to you at all times.¡± ¡°All times?¡± Jefferson repeated. ¡°I¡¯m afraid so,¡± Frank confirmed, ¡°But I paid your predecessor extra to be on call and to take calls. I only use it in case of emergencies, so odds are you won¡¯t be hearing its annoying ringtone any time soon, if at all.¡± ¡°What ringtone?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°And ruin the surprise?¡± Frank said with a grin, ¡°You¡¯ll know it when you hear it. Just be close by when that happens, please.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll agree to this for now,¡± Jefferson said, placing the phone back down. ¡°But I will change it if you abuse the situation.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± Frank promised, ¡°I never did with my previous doctor.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I hope I never hear this ringtone.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± Frank said, ¡°Thanks for your support.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m here for,¡± Jefferson reminded him. ¡°It¡¯s still appreciated,¡± Frank said, ¡°So what else shall we talk about today?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s talk about your parents,¡± Jefferson suggested. ¡°Really?¡± Frank asked. ¡°Fraid so,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I think this could help.¡± Frank sighed, ¡°Alright. What do you want to know?¡± Session #10: Amanda The week had been going well for Jefferson, and even though the last few sessions had their moments, he was looking forward to seeing Amanda again. Jefferson was impressed with her efforts and was and hoping they would make more progress that afternoon. He scheduled cleared up, and Jefferson thought this might be the right time to suggest something that might aid their therapy. It was a risk to even think about it but considering the progress they had made over the last few weeks, he felt that Amanda had earned the chance to do this exercise. While to her it might seem like a reward, it was more of an exercise that would help her progress further. When she buzzed in, Jefferson greeted her at the door and walked her in. She took her seat and the quickly noticed something different about her therapist that day. ¡°You¡¯re dressed up,¡± she noted, seeing the jacket and the tie. Usually, he would just wear pants and a dress shirt with no tie. ¡°I am,¡± Jefferson said, straightening his tie a bit. ¡°Today I¡¯m going to suggest something very different for our session. Do you have any plans for the next few hours?¡± Amanda looked puzzled to hear the request. ¡°I don¡¯t. Why do you ask?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to take you on a date.¡± Jefferson declared. Amanda was taken a bit back by the statement. ¡°A date? What kind of date are we talking about?¡± ¡°A simple one,¡± Jefferson explained, ¡°Just the two of us in a restaurant breaking break and conversing with one another.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Amanda said, as she was curious about it. ¡°Is this a part of my therapy?¡± ¡°As a matter of fact, it is.¡± Jefferson confirmed for her, ¡°I want to do something with you that my wife and I did for our children.¡± ¡°Okay, what was that?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°Whenever one of our kids got old enough to start dating,¡± Jefferson started to explain, ¡°What we did was make one of us that child¡¯s first date. We would show them by example how their date is supposed to behave and conduct themselves when out in public.¡± ¡°Who usually took the kids out?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°If it was one of the boys, Mom would be their date.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°And when it was our daughter¡¯s turn, I was her first date.¡± ¡°So, that was kind of like a dry run?¡± Amanda said, thinking about it. ¡°You both gave them a chance to practice so they¡¯d be less nervous when the time came to actually have a real date.¡± ¡°Precisely,¡± Jefferson said. ¡°That¡¯s such a great idea,¡± Amanda said, ¡°I just wish I had a dad around to do that for me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the point,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°You never have a father around to do things like this with you, so today I¡¯m going to take his place and give you a long overdue practice date.¡± ¡°You¡¯re serious about this?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°We¡¯re going out?¡± ¡°Yes, we are.¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°I¡¯ve taken the time to book a table at one of my favorite restaurants.¡± ¡°And that¡¯s why you¡¯re all dressed up,¡± Amanda said, looking back at herself. ¡°But I¡¯m not!¡± ¡°That¡¯s alright, we can take care of that too.¡± Jefferson said, ¡°There is an elegant outfit in the bathroom waiting for you.¡± ¡°You bought me an outfit?¡± Amanda asked, feeling a little creeped out. ¡°No, I didn¡¯t.¡± Jefferson corrected her, ¡°My secretary did. She has a good eye for correctly guessing someone¡¯s size and actually has much better fashion sense than myself. She picked out the dress for you, so if you like it all the credit belongs to her.¡± ¡°Oh, alright.¡± Amanda said, as she stood up. ¡°I¡¯ll go have a look.¡± Jefferson waited in his den while Amanda was in the bathroom changing into her outfit. He didn¡¯t worry about buying the dress, because this date was a part of the young lady¡¯s therapy, which meant he wouldn¡¯t hesitate to write it off as a business expense in his taxes. Ditto for the actual meal as well since he was dining with a client. This made the experiment less of a burden, which was good because he tried it with other clients that had complex social issues and many of them had improved because of it. He found that showing rather than telling sometimes made all the difference in the world, and that¡¯s also why he and his wife did the same thing with their children. To make them all better prepared for the scary world out there, because it was unhealthy for anyone to remained cooped up in their home all the time. We were meant to spread our wings and fly, rather than overstay our welcome in the nest. When Amanda finally emerged from the bathroom, she was wearing a very elegant red cocktail dress that was a bit tight but didn¡¯t reveal too much. His secretary had correctly picked her size as well and had impeccable taste as usual. He gave Amanda a warm smile to reassure her it was alright. ¡°You look wonderful,¡± He said, ¡°We should get going.¡± ¡°How are we getting there?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°We¡¯re taking my car,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°As the ride to and from the date is just as important as the date itself. We¡¯ll be going over a few things even when in the car.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Amanda said, grabbing her purse, ¡°We should go then.¡± Jefferson made sure he got to the car first, so he could open the door for Amanda. Once on the road, Jefferson left the radio off, letting her know that is should be off so they could talk about the date and get details while on the way there. The next lesson came after the valet took Jefferson¡¯s car away. The strolled up to the main foyer where the Ma?tre d'' was standing at his station. He greeted them both with a warm smile as they walked up. ¡°Good evening, monsieur.¡± the Ma?tre d'' started, ¡°May I help you?¡± This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Yes, I have a reservation,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°It¡¯s under Doctor Jefferson.¡± ¡°Ah, yes,¡± the Ma?tre d'' said, grabbing to menus, ¡°Please follow me.¡± He led the two of them to a nice table that wasn¡¯t right beside one of the windows but close enough to enjoy the view outside. Jefferson got behind Amanda and pulled her chair out for her and pushed it in as she sat down before sitting down himself. ¡°That was very nice,¡± Amanda said, ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the first thing my wife taught the boys on their date,¡± Jefferson said with a smile, ¡°Every man should help their date take a seat before taking on themselves. If they sit down before you do, that¡¯s a red flag.¡± ¡°Even today?¡± Amanda asked, ¡°Many men might be afraid to do that out of fear women would accuse them of trying to control them.¡± ¡°They should at least offer,¡± Jefferson countered, ¡°If they don¡¯t even do that much before sitting down, the date is off to a rocky start.¡± ¡°Duly noted,¡± Amanda said, ¡°What else should I look for?¡± ¡°I would say the napkin,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°Where they put that after sitting down will tell you a lot about your date and their table etiquette. The proper way would be to fold the napkin in half and drape it across the upper part of the right leg.¡± ¡°Why the right leg?¡± Amanda asked, curious to know. ¡°The answer actually depends on what hand you date uses,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I¡¯m right-handed so I put the napkin over my right leg. But southpaws should drape it over their left leg. There are various reasons for this, one being to protect your lap from falling food.¡± ¡°I get it,¡± Amanda said, figuring it out, ¡°If you were to drop something, it would most likely occur on the side your using, so placing the napkin on that side will catch it and save you from stains.¡± ¡°Precisely,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But it also used as a signal. You never place the napkin back onto the table unless you¡¯re done eating. If the napkin remains on your lap, waiters are trained to look for that to know that you¡¯re not finished, and they¡¯ll leave your dishes alone until you place it back on the table to signal that you¡¯re done.¡± ¡°So, if you place the napkin onto the table too early,¡± Amanda added, ¡°That¡¯s why the waiter takes it away too soon because you make the signal that you¡¯re finished?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°That why if you have to use the ladies¡¯ room or even just stretch your legs, you leave the napkin over the arm of your chair on in the center of the chair if it has no arms. If the waiter suspects it was done in error, they will often ask if you¡¯re done just to confirm.¡± ¡°And what if my date or I have to pee?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°Then you leave the napkin folded over the arm of your chair,¡± Jefferson informed her, ¡°And if the chair has no arms, then you leave it in the center of the chair. As long as the napkin isn¡¯t on the table, most waiters will leave your table alone and go about their business.¡± ¡°What if they don¡¯t put it on their lap?¡± Amanda inquired. ¡°That¡¯s another red flag,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Especially if they tuck it into their pants or worse, the collar of their shirt.¡± ¡°What does that mean when that happens?¡± Amanda said. ¡°It means your date is a slob,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°And even your date knows it and isn¡¯t ashamed of their lack of manners. Total red flag.¡± ¡°Should I be taking noted?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°Not necessary,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°You¡¯d be surprised how easily all this is retained. If you want to practice, I¡¯d suggest watching other people in the restaurant and look for their manners or lack there of.¡± ¡°What about ordering food?¡± Amanda started, ¡°What should I be aware of or look out for when placing my order?¡± ¡°Make sure he let¡¯s you order first,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°This is usually a good tip for boys as well, as they should let women order first so they can make sure they compensate with their own order to make sure they don¡¯t exceed their budget.¡± ¡°Speaking of budget,¡± Amanda said, ¡°Who should pay on our date?¡± ¡°Most of the time, it should be the man.¡± Jefferson replied. ¡°Are you sure about that?¡± Amanda challenged, ¡°Should we independent women let men buy our food for us?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a fair question,¡± Jefferson admitted, ¡°Should you let him or just pay for it without hesitation. Are you entitled to your date picking up the cheque?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Amanda said, ¡°That¡¯s why I asked you.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be honest,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°We often tell our boys that women who believe men are supposed to pay is a red flag.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Amanda replied, surprised to hear him say that. ¡°Really,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°The moment a lady dictates to a man that they must and are expected to pay for their time, what¡¯s really being conveyed to the person on the other end of the table is that the relationship isn¡¯t equal. The message being presented is that the lady¡¯s time is more valuable than her date¡¯s, so he should pay for it.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like the sound of that,¡± Amanda said. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°That¡¯s why my wife and consider that to be a red flag.¡± ¡°What should I do to avoid that red flag?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°Well, I told my daughter to offer to chip in,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°Most of the time it will be rejected, but the gesture is never overlooked nor forgotten.¡± ¡°That¡¯s interesting,¡± Amanda said, ¡°As long as I¡¯m at least offering, the gesture will be given that they¡¯re not being taken for granted.¡± ¡°Exactly,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°I remember when my sister asked the same question at the dinner table one time, and my father said this to my sister: if you go on a date with a guy and you don¡¯t at least offer to pay your share, you weren¡¯t raised correctly. He also said if you go on a date and he doesn¡¯t pay, then he wasn¡¯t raised the right way either.¡± ¡°That¡¯s pretty deep,¡± Amanda noted, ¡°The expectations swing both ways, I guess. I¡¯m learning a lot here.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°The point is to learn and also have fun, because we want everyone to enjoy themselves. Learning doesn¡¯t have to be boring as long as we remember what was taught.¡± ¡°I wish many of my teachers had that attitude,¡± Amanda admitted. ¡°Some do,¡± Jefferson countered, ¡°There are some very cool teachers who were able to reach some kids without being a total bore. I should know, my Dad was one of them.¡± ¡°Your dad was a teacher?¡± Amanda asked. ¡°He just wasn¡¯t a teacher,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°He was the cool teacher that inspired so many young minds and led them on a righteous path. When he was at school, the only thing that was missing was the twelve apostles and the water walking. The water into wine would have been beneficial, but we weren¡¯t that lucky. No miracles, just someone who went above and beyond and was looked up to for it. All his students thought he could do no wrong, but to me he was the old man that god on my nerves and vice versa. While these kids were getting a father figure they had been dying for, I got a shit ton of siblings I never asked for. It was tad straining.¡± ¡°Damn,¡± Amanda said, soaking in the story, ¡°I can see how that can be a little annoying, sharing him with so many people.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, having more friends was nice as I didn¡¯t have a lot of them during my high school days.¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°I still speak to some of them and we meet for a beer, especially after my old man kicked the bucket a few years ago.¡± ¡°That must have been hard,¡± Amanda said. ¡°It was for everyone,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But I filled in the hole where I could, and we all helped each other mourn the great man.¡± ¡°So, now you¡¯re the cool one,¡± Amanda said smiling back at him, ¡°You all lost him, but you treated them the same, as if they were family.¡± ¡°I did what I could,¡± Jefferson repeated, ¡°They helped me through it as much as I did for them. You could say it was a team effort.¡± ¡°That¡¯s nice,¡± Amanda said, ¡°that¡¯s not something anyone should have to deal with alone.¡± ¡°I couldn¡¯t agree more,¡± Jefferson said, as he then looked down at the menu. ¡°Do you know what you want to order?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Amanda confessed, ¡°I¡¯ve never been here.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been here a lot,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Unless you have some allergies or food restrictions, would you mind if I ordered for us both?¡± Amanda smiled at the thought. ¡°No restrictions or allergies. I think that would be nice. What were you thinking of?¡± ¡°There are a few great dishes I¡¯d like to recommend,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I was thinking we¡¯d order one appetizer and two mains, and share all of them so you can try them all.¡± ¡°I like the plan,¡± Amanda said, as she liked the intimacy behind sharing. ¡°Show me what you¡¯re looking at.¡± Session #11: Vicki & Tom Unlike their previous appointment, all parties managed to arrive prior to the beginning of the session, but there was no time to celebrate the small stuff as both of the couple had arrived looked very hostile towards one another. The sat about as far away from one another as the couch would allow, and they could barely look at one another. Rather that start off with the usual small talk, Jefferson sat there and looked at them both as their anger seems to brew like a stew that had been on the oven for countless hours. "Somebody isn''t happy here," Jefferson finally said, "And I realize that''s the reason you''re here but his is more hostility than usual." "Somebody is never happy," Tom replied, "But it''s not my job to make her happy. I''m her husband, not a goddamn clown." "He has a point there, Vicki." Jefferson said, "He''s not responsible for your happiness anymore than you are for his. Is this kind of anger normal for your marriage or is this the anomaly?" "It''s the norm," Tom answered, "We fight often." "About what?" Jefferson asked. "It fells like about everything," Tom again answered, "I can''t remember the last time we actually agreed about something. I don''t want to fight her, but it''s not my fault she''s so pigheaded sometimes." "That''s convenient coming from a pig," Vicki spat back at her husband. "I understand your frustration," Jefferson replied, "But this is not the place for name calling." "He called me pigheaded," She responded, "How is that different?" "Pigheaded is slang for someone being very stubborn," Jefferson explained, "And I can assure you Tom and I are also guilty of this too. Why do you think he said that about you?" "Because I can be stubborn," Vicki answered, "But I refuse to apologize for standing up for what I believe in." "Here we go again," Tom said, letting out a deep sigh. "What beliefs do you hold," Jefferson started, "That you feel the need to defend so much?" "Anything her feminist friends spew out," Tom said, "Didn''t you get the memo? Everything going on here is our fault because we''re men. Truth is you''re just sour because you couldn''t have your woman president." "Maybe we deserve one!" Vicki chided back. "Maybe you do," Tom said, "And when a competent, ethical, and respectable lady decides to run for office and happens to present a sound plan for our future, then I''ll happily vote for her!" "You know she was more than experienced enough!" Vicki shouted back. "Not enough in my books, not for that job." Tom replied, "She also had too many scandals, and don''t even get me started about that slush fund charity she was running. That was a total pay to play front, and you know it!" "Oh dear," Jefferson said, as he finally clued into whom they were talking about. It had been over six years since that fateful day in November 2016 and still quite a few couples were fighting over election results. "This is the bullshit I have to put up with," Tom said, pointing at his wife. "The only reason she voted for that evil corrupt hag was because she had a pussy! Not her policies, which she never bothered to campaign on or explain. She made no effort to even ask for our vote or promise better life for us were she to win. She just assumed it was her fucking turn because the black dude got his eight years earlier! The truth is I didn''t vote for the other guy because he was the politically correct choice, but because I liked his policies and what he was promising during his campaign! Someone''s gender and skin colour are not valid reasons to win anyone''s vote, and that''s why I didn''t vote for that entitled, selfish, corrupt hag!" "So, you think a game show host was a better choice?" Vicki asked. "To be fair," Tom started, "When I cast my vote, I was unsure. But six years later, I was glad that I voted for that fat bastard. To tell you the truth, if he runs again in two years, I will not hesitate to vote for him again!" Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. "Ugh!" Vicki grunted as she couldn''t believe what she was hearing. "Look," Jefferson said, trying to remain diplomatic. "I understand where both of you are coming from. Vicki, we need to take a breath and understand where Tom is coming from. He never said he wouldn''t vote for a woman, it''s just that during that election he didn''t want to vote for that specific woman." "That''s right," Tom said, "I''ve cast a vote for women many times. Both at the municipal level and even for congress and the senate! I don''t have an issue voting for women, as long as they are good people with sound policies I can support. I''m not just going to vote for someone because of their gender. If they fail to move me with their sincerity, devotion, and what issues they wish to tackle then I will not vote for them. Same goes for any man: it''s their character and the issues that will determine where I cast my vote, not what''s between their damn legs!" "To be fair," Jefferson said, "I did vote for a woman to be president that year, I just didn''t vote for that woman." "Oh, that''s interesting." Tom said, as he understood. "This is very interesting," Jefferson agreed, as he didn''t want to see things get too ugly. "Politics can cause a lot of division between people who are often on the opposite side of many issues. I hope that you can try to focus on the stuff you''re on the same side of rather than rehash all your differences instead. Name on issue that you both agree on. Right now." The couple remained seat on the couch, but they were coming up with any suggestions. "We''re split about a lot of things," Tom started, "We used to be on the same page about a lot of things but lately we''ve started to politically drift apart. I''m not a registered republican, but lately I''ve felt kind of left out by my own party and those I thought were on my side." "How so?" Jefferson asked. "I''ve have the same views on certain issues," Tom explained, "But I''ve always tried to be in the center, but the left has started to shift far to left for my liking. They''re all moving further left without me on some issues and that apparently makes me a right winger now, which is total bullshit!" "Is there not anything you can agree on?" Jefferson asked. In his times he could always find one thing couples could settle on. "I wish there was," Tom asked, "But whenever I take one side she always happens to be on the other side. If I say red, she goes blue. If I say pro-life, she has to be pro-choice. If I say Paul, she says John. If I tried to say the moon landing was real, she''s break out conspiracy theories just to upset me. My gawd, she thinks Sammy Hagar was the better front man for Van Halen and even supports the universal designated hitter!" "I don''t know about you," Vicki finally replied, "But don''t want my team to lose a two hundred-million-dollar pitcher for the rest of the damn season because he was trying to bunt a runner over to second base. These needless injuries are not good for the game, and I for one am glad we won''t have to see it happen as often." "While I agree with some of what you said," Jefferson said, as he himself was also a baseball fan. "There are some pitchers out there that can hit, and even smack some long balls as well. Nothing gets a crowd more excited than seeing the pitcher get a hit or even a home-run." "I get the point," Vicki said, "I mean who doesn''t love Ohtani, right?" "Come on Tom," Jefferson called out, "She''s right about that; Ohtani is a pretty awesome player, right?" "Yes," Tom finally conceded, "He''s a fucking amazing ballplayer. It''s just a crying shame his talents are being wasted on a gawd-awful franchise." "I happen to agree with you on that too," Jefferson said, happy to see everything could find at least one thing they could all agree on. "I think that''s something everyone agrees with," Vicki also conceded. "Do you at least root for the same team?" Jefferson asked, fully aware that there was a good chance that wasn''t the case. "Of course not," Tom answered. "Damn Yankee fan," Vicki shot back with venom in her tone. "I see," Jefferson said, "And what team do you support, Vicki?" "Red Sox," Tom answered for her. "My mother is from Boston," Vicki explained, "I was raised on Ted Williams and Wade Boggs by most of my family." "She has a point there, Tom," Jefferson said, "If she''s been programmed since birth to root for the Sox, that''s not a slight against you. It''s not like she jumped on the bandwagon in ''04 when the curse ended. I''m sure she and her family had to endure many years of heartbreak rooting for that team during the 80s and 90s." "That''s true," Tom conceded, "But I''m not a bandwagon jumper either." "No one said you were," Jefferson said, smiling back. "Regardless of what team you root for, you both have a great passion for our national pastime. There we go, something everyone in this room can agree on!" Jefferson could notice that the room was starting to ease up on the tension, something that usually happened with they found common ground. Their anger was starting to subside, and the therapist believed that was a good time to keep the momentum going. "There are many things that you likely have in common," Jefferson added, "Just because you don''t know what they are doesn''t mean they don''t exist. That is what I want this week''s homework to be. I am going to give each of you a questionnaire and I''d like you fill out. I want you to work on them separately and not show each other any of the answers." "What''s the point of that?" Tom asked. "I want you to be fully honest and not have your answers influenced by others," Jefferson answered, "And we''ll analyze them both together in our next session. I can assure you that you''ll be surprised by some of the answers. Most couples who do this usually are." "That sounds interesting," Vicki said, warming up to the idea. "All I request is you both are completely honest," Jefferson said, "Be truthful with yourself and go with the first thought that comes to mind. There are no wrong answers here, unless you think David Lee Roth was the better front man." Tom''s face suddenly dropped when he heard that statement. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he called out. Session #12: Savannah Jefferson was getting ready for his next appointment when there was a loud knocking at the door. He looked back and was confused because that kind of knocking was not something he was used to. Jefferson hadn¡¯t informed his secretary that he was ready to see his next client, which is what he would do by hitting a button on his desk that would send a flashing signal to the secretary¡¯s phone. He was about to pick up the phone to call the front desk when there was another loud knocking at the door, this time accompanied by a loud shouting coming from the person that was doing the knocking. ¡°I need to speak with you!¡± the voice rang out. Since it wasn¡¯t the voice of his secretary, Jefferson picked up his phone and dialed the desk outside. ¡°Who is that knocking on my door?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°It¡¯s the mother of your next client,¡± the secretary answered, ¡°She is here with the child and is demanding to speak with you. She doesn¡¯t appear to be pleased with us.¡± ¡°You think?¡± Jefferson said, as the woman¡¯s anger was evident. ¡°What should I do?¡± the secretary asked. ¡°Let her in,¡± Jefferson said, eager to take care of the situation. ¡°Are you sure, Doctor?¡± The secretary asked. ¡°I am,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°Show her in.¡± Jefferson walked over to the door and opened it, and on the other side was a middle-aged woman, mid-forties, but he could tell by the color of her hair and some of her features whose mother she was. That was easily confirmed as Jefferson looked into the reception to see Savannah sitting down and looking back up at him with fear in her eyes. ¡°Give us a moment,¡± Jefferson said to the young girl. Once the woman had stormed into his office, Jefferson closed the door and turned to face the angry lady. ¡°Can I help you, Ma¡¯am?¡± he calmly asked her. ¡°I want to know what she said!¡± the woman said, almost growling. ¡°She refuses to tell me what you talked about last week!¡± ¡°She¡¯s not required to talk about it,¡± Jefferson said. ¡°Why not?¡± the woman called out, ¡°I¡¯m her mother! I need to know what¡¯s going on in here and what she¡¯s saying!¡± ¡°No, you don¡¯t.¡± Jefferson said, as he took a step closer. ¡°She is allowed to retain her privacy, and I am actually not allowed by law to tell anyone what she says in here. The only time I can legally reveal anything that is said to me is if I believe there¡¯s a chance my patient may harm others, or themself. Since I have not seen or heard anything of the sort, what was said in her remains private until she herself decides to tell you.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not fair!¡± her mother cried, ¡°I need to know what¡¯s being said!¡± ¡°No, you don¡¯t.¡± Jefferson corrected her. ¡°The only thing you need to know is that we¡¯re talking. To tell you anything more would cause my client to lose trust in me, and that could derail the progress we¡¯ve made thus far. I won¡¯t stand for this interference, and do not approve of this outrageous behavior.¡± ¡°I pay for these sessions!¡± her mother protested. ¡°No, the state does.¡± Jefferson again corrected her, ¡°You are not my boss, and you never were. The courts mandated this therapy, and I answer only to the judge. I can also assure you that I will be calling his honor immediately if you do not vacate this room and allow your daughter to start her session on time!¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± she asked, shocked to hear him talk to her like that. ¡°As a matter of fact, that¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m doing,¡± Jefferson said, as he took a few steps back and opened the door leading to reception. ¡°You are excused, Ma¡¯am. Vacate the room or I will have you removed.¡± The mother stood there, her bottom lip quivering as she was unable to respond as the points he was making were difficult to counter. She deeply sighed and then stormed out of the room. She didn¡¯t take a seat and instead walked right through reception and out the door. Jefferson stuck his head out of the door again and looked over at Savannah. ¡°You can come in now,¡± he called out to her. Savannah didn¡¯t say anything, but instead grabbed her bag and quickly scooted into the room before her mother could see her do it. Once she was inside the room, Jefferson closed the door behind her and even went out of his way to secure the padlock that he only used when the day is over, or whenever he feels the need for extra security. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about that,¡± Savannah finally said, as she sat down. ¡°You have nothing to apologize for,¡± Jefferson said, as he strolled over and sat down in his chair. ¡°I¡¯d like to say this is not normal, but it happens more often than I¡¯d like to admit.¡± Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°It does?¡± Savannah asked, somewhat surprised. ¡°It does,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°People who are used to being in control often get upset and lose their temper when that control is slowly taken away. I expected to see some sort of response, just not so vocal or this soon.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what she does,¡± Savannah said, ¡°She gets upset and screams at the person she feels is responsible for it.¡± ¡°Does she yell at you?¡± Jefferson inquired. ¡°Sometimes,¡± Savannah answered, ¡°But not in the way you¡¯re thinking. When she gets frustrated she sometimes snaps at anyone, even those who are not responsible. Right now, she¡¯s upset that I won¡¯t talk about what happens here, but it¡¯s none of her bee¡¯s wax.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not,¡± Jefferson confirmed, ¡°You don¡¯t have to talk about it with anyone else unless you are comfortable doing so. This is supposed to be your sanctuary, Savannah. How can I expect you to open up and talk to me if you fear that I might run off and tell other people what you said?¡± ¡°You won¡¯t do that will you?¡± the young girl asked. ¡°No,¡± Jefferson assured her, ¡°I am not permitted to say a word to anyone unless I feel you pose a risk to harm others, or even yourself. As long as you¡¯re not a danger to anyone, I am not telling anyone what we discuss in here. The judge who ordered this treatment might ask for reports, but I can give summaries about your progress without sensitive details.¡± ¡°She¡¯s not used to someone standing up to her like that,¡± Savannah confessed, ¡°She doesn¡¯t like it when people refuse to do as she says.¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t care.¡± Jefferson confessed, ¡°She is not my boss, and I am not bound to tell her a damn thing, or even the courts for that matter unless a judge presses me for it. Even then I can be subtle and discrete when giving my findings.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± Savannah said, as she seemed pleased by his answers. ¡°You¡¯re afraid of her,¡± Jefferson observed, ¡°Of what she might do or say if she knew the truth about you.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± Savannah agreed, ¡°I keep a lot of secrets from her, and she doesn¡¯t like that. Not one bit.¡± ¡°But they¡¯re your secrets,¡± Jefferson reminded her, ¡°They are yours and yours alone. When and who you share them with, if you ever do, should be up to you alone. I¡¯m sorry if your mother feels the need to pry, I suppose she¡¯s just worried and wants to know how things are going in her own nosy way.¡± ¡°So, you think she¡¯s just worried?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°I know she¡¯s worried,¡± Jefferson confirmed for her. ¡°I¡¯m a parent myself, so I have an inkling of an idea of what kind of stress and paranoia she¡¯s experiencing right now.¡± ¡°What kind of pain?¡± Savannah asked, surprised to hear that. ¡°All of your pains,¡± Jefferson explained to her. ¡°Every time you scrape a knee, get a cold, or shed a single tear, most of us feel that right down to our bones. Many of us may not show it, but we all have our moments. Some of us do our best to remain cool, but every now and then we¡¯ll panic about something and run around like a chicken with its head cut off.¡± ¡°Even you?¡± Savannah asked. ¡°Even me,¡± Jefferson confessed, ¡°When my son broke his leg during a soccer match, I was a mess waiting in that hospital waiting room. I was fearing and panicking almost as much as your mother was here moments ago. Parents often feel that way about their children, and one day you¡¯ll feel that way when you have yours. Fear is a very strong thing that can often brings out the worst of us all.¡± ¡°She yells at me so often,¡± Savannah continued, ¡°I think she hates me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s true,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°It¡¯s not hate that causes her to get so emotional. It¡¯s the love she feels for you that sometimes makes her act a complete loon. That in no way excuses her behavior as she needs to learn to keep those emotions in check and not interfere with your therapy.¡± ¡°She doesn¡¯t understand me,¡± Savannah quickly declared. ¡°And that is where the fear comes from,¡± Jefferson added, ¡°The fear of the unknown is what petrifies some people the most. That lack of control and power over what is going to happen in your life, or your family¡¯s life can upset even the calmest person. Many parents want to control everything, even though total control is often impossible to achieve. They¡¯ll still try out of some need, or even obsession, to guard and protect their offspring from all that¡¯s out there.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s even possible,¡± Savannah concluded. ¡°It¡¯s not,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°There is not a single parent out there that is or ever was in full control of what goes on with their children. We all want that control, but in the end no one on this planet is capable of doing it. No matter how angry and loud we get, it doesn¡¯t matter. Every single parent on this planet is doomed to ride the same ship and be oblivious to its eventual port.¡± ¡°That sounds rather helpless.¡± Savannah observed. ¡°It can be, and that¡¯s where the anger comes from,¡± Jefferson said, as he sat back and sighed. ¡°It¡¯s quite humbling to admit that we can¡¯t do it all. We can try our best, but we have to eventually surrender to the fact that life does whatever it damn well pleases.¡± ¡°That¡¯s pretty deep,¡± Savannah confessed. ¡°I have my moments,¡± Jefferson said, smiling back at her. ¡°I¡¯ve also had my moments like your mother just displayed earlier. Despite how hard we try to control ourselves, sometimes we just lose our temper. Moments when we¡¯re willing to go to fisticuffs to defend what we feel is right and noble. At least that¡¯s what we believed at the time. In retrospect, I was an idiot.¡± ¡°We all have our moments,¡± Savannah said, ¡°I¡¯m sure even I will have a few when I get old.¡± ¡°Getting old isn¡¯t a punishment,¡± Jefferson added, ¡°It¡¯s reward. Surviving is a tough game that not everyone can complete. There are thousands of people around the world who sometimes don¡¯t even make it to half our age. Life is something that is meant to be cherished, rather than mocked.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to die,¡± Savannah suddenly said, ¡°I want to get old.¡± ¡°It pleases me to hear that,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°Especially considering why the court ordered you be here.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry about that,¡± Savannah said, as if it was an automatic reflex. ¡°I believe you,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°But one day, you need to say those words to the person who matters the most.¡± ¡°My mother?¡± the young girl guessed. ¡°No,¡± Jefferson rebutted, even though it was a fair guess. ¡°The person who deserves to hear your apology is the person you see in the mirror. That is the one person who would have suffered the most if things turned out differently that day.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m ready to talk about that,¡± Savannah said, feeling the bandages on her arms as there was a lot of white gauze wrapped around her wrists and half of her forearms. ¡°We¡¯ll talk about it when you are ready,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°And not a moment sooner, okay?¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Savannah replied, ¡°Thanks for not pushing.¡± ¡°It¡¯s too soon to push,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But one day I will, but I¡¯m not ready to do that either. So let¡¯s talk more about things you might be comfortable with, such as what¡¯s going on with school¡­¡± Session #13: Harrison Jefferson was looking forward to another productive session with Amanda, but the day would wind up leaving him feeling disappointed as the young lady was a no call no show. Jefferson had his secretary leave a message on her voice mail, which was the standard practice whenever any of his patients fail to show up for a scheduled session. Despite his disappointment, Jefferson was hoping her reason for missing out was something stupid, like mismanagement of time or she forgot all about him. While he valued the work they were doing, if it was something stupid that caused her to be absent than it would lower the chance of it being something dire that kept her from being with him that day. The last thing he wants to hear is that she got into a car accident while speeding to make her appointment, as Jefferson preferred his clients be late or even miss the session rather than risk lives over it, especially their own. Jefferson did his best to not dwell on it and use the time to prepare for the other day¡¯s sessions and even catch up with a little paperwork. He didn¡¯t think about the missed appointment until much later in the day when someone else who was scheduled came to his office. He was working on the same paperwork after the last session for the day when his phone beeped. ¡°Yes?¡± Jefferson said after picking up the phone. ¡°There¡¯s someone here to see you?¡± she replied on the other end. ¡°There are no more sessions scheduled,¡± Jefferson reminded her. ¡°It¡¯s not a client,¡± his secretary replied, ¡°There¡¯s a police detective here, and he really wants to speak with you.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Jefferson said, rather surprised by the development. ¡°Send him in.¡± Jefferson put the phone down and got up off his chair and started to walk over to the door as the detective strolled into the room. He was a middle aged man, wearing a suit that looked as worn out as he was. The man had a two day scruff and had a slight limp as he strolled over and offered a hand for his host to shake. Jefferson eagerly took his hand and shook it. ¡°Good afternoon,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°I¡¯m Doctor Asher Jefferson.¡± ¡°Detective Harrison Smith.¡± the man replied. ¡°What can I do for you, Detective?¡± Jefferson inquired. ¡°I¡¯m here to speak to you about one of your patients,¡± Harrison answered. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I can¡¯t do that,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°I don¡¯t break confidence for anyone, and I will not make an exception for you.¡± ¡°I appreciate your loyalty,¡± Harrison countered, ¡°But I¡¯m afraid the person in question no longer resides upon this mortal coil.¡± ¡°Oh dear,¡± Jefferson said, as he couldn¡¯t believe what he was hearing. ¡°One of my patients is dead?¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid so,¡± Harrison confirmed, as he seemed rather calm about it, most likely because he saw death likely almost every day while on the job. ¡°I apologize for being here under such circumstances, but I regret to inform you that a client of yours named Amanda Jones died earlier today.¡± Upon hearing those words, Jefferson took a step back and if his desk wasn¡¯t directly behind him there was a chance the man was going to fall over. This wasn¡¯t the first time a client of his had passed away, but the other times were from old age and cancer, neither of which Amanda had possessed. ¡°What the hell happened?¡± Jefferson asked, eager to know more. ¡°She fell out of a high story window,¡± Harrison answered. ¡°How did it happen?¡± Jefferson demanded, ¡°Was it an accident or was someone else responsible for it?¡± ¡°We¡¯re looking into that,¡± Harrison replied, ¡°Nothing has been ruled out yet, but that¡¯s why I¡¯m here. I want to talk to you about her treatment.¡± ¡°You want to know if she was suicidal?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Like I said,¡± Harrison conceded, ¡°We¡¯re looking into everything.¡± This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. ¡°And that¡¯s why you¡¯re here,¡± Jefferson said, almost disgusted by the mere thought of what he knew was coming. ¡°You want me to tell you whether or not she was capable of jumping to her death.¡± ¡°I am,¡± Harrison confessed, ¡°But I¡¯m also here to rule it out as well if that may be the case. I¡¯m only going to go wherever the evidence leads me. That¡¯s why I need your help, doctor. I want to know what happened, and to seek out anyone if they turn out to be responsible for it.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Jefferson said, as he was starting to feel a little uneasy, ¡°This is all a bit of a shock to me.¡± ¡°How so?¡± Harrison asked, ¡°Have you not lost a patient before?¡± ¡°I have,¡± Jefferson countered, ¡°But they died of cancer and old age, and not under such suspicious circumstances.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Harrison said, as he suddenly could tell how uneasy the doctor was. ¡°Take a seat before you fall over.¡± Jefferson did as the detective said, and sat down on the couch, while Harrison parked himself in the chair that Harrison would usually reside in. ¡°When was the last time you saw Ms. Jones?¡± Harrison asked. ¡°It¡¯s been a week,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°She was supposed to come in today but was a no show.¡± ¡°I see,¡± Harrison said, taking down some notes. ¡°What time was her appointment?¡± ¡°Earlier this morning,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°We meet every Thursday at ten.¡± ¡°And she¡¯s never missed an appointment?¡± Harrison asked. ¡°She has a few times,¡± Jefferson said, doing his best to recall. ¡°But she would usually call in first and let us know whenever it happened. Sometimes work at the hospital would keep her for whatever reason. Stuff like that.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Harrison said, as he was taking notes, ¡°So, you haven¡¯t seen Amanda since her last scheduled appointment last week?¡± ¡°That is correct,¡± Jefferson confirmed. ¡°How did she seem last week?¡± Harrison inquired, ¡°How was her demeanor?¡± ¡°She was well,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°She was making real progress.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± Harrison said, taking more notes. ¡°Can you tell me the reasons she was here to seek treatment?¡± ¡°I cannot, and will not,¡± Jefferson replied, sticking to his moral guns. ¡°I don¡¯t need the details,¡± Harrison said, holding his hands up, ¡°I just need to know if she¡¯s ever had suicidal thoughts or had made any attempts before today.¡± ¡°No,¡± Jefferson answered, ¡°at least not that I¡¯m aware of. Jefferson was being very careful about what details that were given. He wasn¡¯t going to tell Harrison exactly why she was there, but he saw no harm in telling the detective what she wasn¡¯t being treated for. ¡°So, Ms. Jones never talked about it with you?¡± Harrison asked. ¡°No, she didn¡¯t,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°Amanda wasn¡¯t being treated for that. We never even discussed the subject of suicide ever during any of her sessions. The topic never came up. I can check my notes to be sure, but at the moment I can¡¯t recall ever talking to her about that.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Harrison said, closing his notebook. ¡°Believe it or not, I¡¯m not trying to pass this off. I just need to examine all possibilities, and this is just one of many that we are looking into.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Jefferson said, as he was still shaking a bit. ¡°I¡¯m just still a little shocked by the news. I don¡¯t want to believe that she could do that, but you need to follow where the evidence leads you. I will do my best to assist that but only where I¡¯m legally allowed to.¡± ¡°I appreciate your honesty,¡± Harrison said, as he started to pace the room. ¡°It¡¯s never easy to break news like that, especially to someone who cares about the person in question.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± Jefferson said, standing up. ¡°What do you mean by that?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t mean anything,¡± Harrison said, noticing his sudden defensiveness. ¡°I assumed that you cared about all of your patients, since you¡¯re working so hard to help them with their issues and what not.¡± ¡°Of course, I do,¡± Jefferson conceded, ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Understandable,¡± Harrison said, ¡°I¡¯m the one who should be sorry for your loss.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°She was doing so well. It¡¯s a shame that it all had to end like this.¡± ¡°I get it, I really do,¡± Harrison said, as he walked closer, ¡°I see criminals try to recover and get their life back in order all the time. I¡¯ve lost count of how many recommitted and are back in prison, or worse in the ground. It breaks the heart to see all that potential flushed down the metaphorical shitter.¡± ¡°I will go over my notes,¡± Jefferson repeated, ¡°And if I find anything that will assist your investigation, I will reach out.¡± ¡°I do appreciate that,¡± Harrison said, as he took a card out of pocket. ¡°Here¡¯s my number. Feel free to call me whenever you have something to add.¡± ¡°I will,¡± Jefferson said, as it took the card from him. ¡°Thanks for coming by, but I would like some time to go over and process what you told me.¡± ¡°I understand,¡± Harrison said again, ¡°I¡¯ve got what I need. If I need to come back, I¡¯ll be sure to set an appointment next time with your secretary.¡± ¡°That would be ideal,¡± Jefferson said. Jefferson watched as Harrison walked out of the same door he entered in, as he was unaware of the side door that his patients used to exit after their appointments. He was still stunned by the news the detective had brought that it never occurred to him to inform him of the way things usually went. There were no other clients booked for the day so there was no harm done. Jefferson stood there in the middle of the room, processing what he was just told. Moments later, he picked up something off the table and threw it at the wall. The item was tough, so it never broke, and he stood there brewing in anger. He felt the need to call someone and reach out. Something he could talk to about the trauma that was just brought to his office. He needed to get his frustrations off of his chest as soon as possible as he waited for the line to get picked up. Session #14: Gilbert When Gilbert arrived he looked rather agitated, and even a little flustered. Jefferson noted this as Gil walked into the room and took a seat on the couch in his usual spot. The man¡¯s knees were even shaking a bit as he huffed out loud as he sat his ass down. The man was even a little jittery as he even jumped a bit as Jefferson sat down in his own chair across from him. He also appeared to be sweating a bit, to the point where Jefferson was tempted to take the man¡¯s temperature and make sure he wasn¡¯t feeling ill. Jefferson sat there waiting for his patient to start things, but Gil didn¡¯t seem that eager to chat which forced Jefferson to get the ball rolling. He wasn¡¯t used to doing that with Gil, but there was a first time for everything. ¡°Gil,¡± Jefferson said, as just mentioning his name made him jump. ¡°You seem very agitated. Has something happened that we need to discuss?¡± ¡°It¡¯s my phone,¡± Gil said, his voice stuttering a bit. ¡°The alarm went off a few days ago, and it really shook me up.¡± ¡°Oh no,¡± Jefferson said, as he remembered what that meant. ¡°Someone from one of your other families was within a mile of you when you were spending time with the other?¡± ¡°It couldn¡¯t have happened at a worse time!¡± Gil added, ¡°I was in the middle of a restaurant with my wife and kids, and the alarm starting blaring at me right after our entrees arrived!¡± ¡°Oh my,¡± Jefferson said, as he was listening intently. ¡°What did you respond to it?¡± ¡°Not well,¡± Gil answered, as he felt ashamed. ¡°I acted like a damn fool and even freaked out. I was running around the place like a chicken with its head cut off.¡± ¡°What was going on?¡± Jefferson inquired, ¡°Which family member was so close that your alarm went off?¡± ¡°That¡¯s the funny part,¡± Gil replied, ¡°No one.¡± ¡°No one?¡± Jefferson repeated. ¡°It was a false alarm,¡± Gil said, shrugging his shoulders. ¡°There was a bug in the system, and it caused my alarm to go off even though not a single member of my family was even in the same state.¡± ¡°And for no reason at all, you made a damn fool of yourself,¡± Jefferson said as he started to understand why Gil was so shaken that day. The doctor was pretty sure his patient had been this way ever since the incident occurred. ¡°I feel so embarrassed,¡± Gil added, as he looked almost about to cry. ¡°I can see why you¡¯re feeling this way,¡± Jefferson said, as he was clearly concerned about Gil¡¯s state of mind. It¡¯s one thing to have an alarm go off, but he was pretty sure that wasn¡¯t the reaction his client assumed he would take whenever that alarm went off. ¡°Was this the first time that alarm ever went off?¡± Jefferson asked. ¡°Yes,¡± Gil answered, ¡°I¡¯ve tested the system a few times, but this was the very first time it just went off without me knowing about it. By the way I reacted, you would have thought someone hit me with a cattle prod.¡± ¡°How did the family react to your response?¡± Jefferson asked, ¡°I¡¯m sure they were quite surprised by what had happened that night.¡± ¡°That¡¯s an understatement,¡± Gil replied, ¡°They were petrified.¡± ¡°Next time you might want to put it on vibrate,¡± Jefferson suggested, ¡°Or you should have tested it a few times to get used to hearing it. It sounds like this is a case of not being prepared for the alarm.¡± ¡°I suppose,¡± Gil conceded, ¡°I¡¯m a busy guy¡­ so I never really took the time to test it and assumed it would never go off.¡± ¡°But it did go off,¡± Jefferson reminded him, ¡°And your reaction was less than what was desired. This was like that errant cell phone mishap in Hawaii where people were told a missile attack was coming. People lost their shit and went totally crazy when the warning came.¡± Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°So, you¡¯re telling me I reacted the same way?¡± Gil asked. ¡°Pretty much,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°You were like the people who were tossing kids in the sewers, totally losing your shit. Anyone who saw you doing that had to be a little disturbed by it, and you did this in public!¡± ¡°Damn,¡± Gil said, as he was finally realizing how bad it really was. ¡°What should I have done instead?¡± ¡°The next time that damn thing goes off,¡± Jefferson started, ¡°The last thing you do is look at the phone. Do not touch it.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Gil asked, ¡°Why?¡± ¡°The first thing you should do,¡± Jefferson continued, ¡°Is politely remove yourself from wherever you are and find somewhere private to go. Once you are alone and not being seen by anyone, you take the phone out and review the alarm. That way you have a moment to collect yourself before responding to what is actually happening.¡± ¡°Okay, that makes sense,¡± Gil responded, thinking about it. ¡°So, what I should have done at that restaurant was excuse myself from the table, and maybe¡­ go to the bathroom?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± Jefferson approved, ¡°Find a stall, sit down, and calmly check the app to see what was going on. That would have been the right thing to do. That way if someone was very close to you, being isolated would protect you from being spotted if it wasn¡¯t a false alarm. Freaking out in public would have drawn someone closer to you and made things worse if it wasn¡¯t a false alarm.¡± ¡°I never thought of that,¡± Gil said, as he felt even more embarrassed. ¡°This brings us to the bigger problem,¡± Jefferson said, as he leaned in closer to his patient, ¡°This being the issue of your polygamy. You can¡¯t live this way if this is how you¡¯re going to react to anyone coming close to exposing what you have going on here. I get that you love these families and want to be there for them, but this is going to drive you crazy if you act this way. This is going to cost you your sanity, and even your families if you don¡¯t hold things together.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure what can do,¡± Gil said, looking frustrated, ¡°Even if I wanted to get out of this mess, how the hell do I do it?¡± ¡°That is the sixty-thousand dollar question,¡± Jefferson said, as he sat back onto his chair to think about it. ¡°You might been to cut ties with one of them and then hope the other family doesn¡¯t leave you.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t pick between them,¡± Gil admitted, ¡°I love them both!¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t pick,¡± Jefferson countered, ¡°You¡¯ll lose both families!¡± ¡°But that hardly seems fair!¡± Gil protested, ¡°I can¡¯t pick! I love them both and it would crush me to lose any of them!¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry Gil,¡± Jefferson said, not accepting any compromise, ¡°Picking both is not an option. You can only pick one or you get none¡­ period!¡± ¡°This is fair!¡± Gil cried out, clearly frustrated. ¡°And whose fault is that?¡± Jefferson asked him, ¡°Who is the guy that chose to marry a second woman and live a secret life? You didn¡¯t slip on a banana peel and accidentally marry someone else! You chose this, Gil! This is your fucking bed¡­ now lie in it!¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± Gil said, stunned by what he just heard. ¡°You heard me!¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°This is a mess if your own choosing, and now you have to live with the consequences that come with those choices. This may not be fair, Gil, but this is how life works.¡± ¡°What if I refuse to choose?¡± Gil asked. ¡°Then the choice will be made for you,¡± Jefferson answered. ¡°By whom?¡± Gil asked, ¡°You?¡± ¡°No,¡± Jefferson replied, ¡°By karma, and from what I¡¯ve heard¡­ she can be a real bitch.¡± After making that statement, both man sat there for at least five minutes and said nothing during that time. Jefferson was tempted to ask something, to see where Gil¡¯s head was at, but he was content to let the silence speak for him as that last line seemed to really hit home with his patient. Fate has its own way of making things known. Secrets never last forever, and his were not immune. One day someone will figure things out, and if Gil doesn¡¯t rip that band-aid off himself, he might not like how things roll downhill after his secrets are exposed to the light. Not one fucking bit. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Gil,¡± Jefferson said, finally breaking the silence, ¡°I don¡¯t mean to be so adversarial, but you need a little pushing here to do what¡¯s needed and I think deep down you know I¡¯m right.¡± ¡°Yeah, I do,¡± Gil conceded, ¡°But I don¡¯t have to like it.¡± ¡°No, you do not,¡± Jefferson concurred, ¡°What I¡¯m proposing sucks, but the alternative sucks infinitely worse¡­ that much I can guarantee.¡± ¡°This whole thing sucks,¡± Gil said, his anger showing. ¡°It does,¡± Jefferson agreed, ¡°But it will suck more if you don¡¯t make a choice and try to get our of this with at least one family intact.¡± ¡°I need time to think about this,¡± Gil concluded. ¡°Yes!¡± Jefferson concurred, ¡°Take the week to think about, and come to me next week with your thoughts and maybe a decision if you come to one.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t push your luck,¡± Gil said, not eager to do either. ¡°Fair enough,¡± Jefferson said, ¡°But at least show me some progress next time and we can talk about it and see where things go.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Gil said, ¡°I¡¯ll try to think about my options.¡± ¡°That¡¯s all I ask,¡± Jefferson said, smiling back. ¡°We need to get you out of this mess, so you won¡¯t need an alarm to warn you of anything. That¡¯s no way to live life, Gil. You deserve better.¡± ¡°I appreciate that,¡± Gil said, feeling a bit better. ¡°I¡¯ll think it over.¡± ¡°That¡¯s all I ask,¡± Jefferson repeated, ¡°And I¡¯ll see you next week.¡±