《Adrian Adley, Magic School Manager》


 New Job

    ¡°Let¡¯s clear up some common misconceptions about your new job while you¡¯re still on the train, Mr. Adley.¡±


    I stared out the window of the train¡¯s only passenger coach as I remarked, ¡°I¡¯m going to be running a boarding school for underage wizards. I¡¯m not so sure what the misconceptions that would need to be cleared up would be.¡±


    The serious-looking, somewhat vulpine woman who¡¯d served me a summons for the job informed me, ¡°The fact of the matter is that providing a good education for the students of Red Point Magic Academy needs to only be your third priority. You of all people should know magic is dangerous. Couple that with wizards too young to properly comprehend the consequences of their actions, and you¡¯ve got a recipe for disaster.¡±


    It took both of me a couple moments to piece together what she was saying.


    ¡°Then why in the world are you putting so many underage wizards together in one place? From the sound of it the entire school is like a massive warehouse of combustibles, waiting for the slightest spark to touch it off!¡±


    Reese answered, ¡°Because we¡¯d rather have them all where we can monitor them, rather than in the middle of a populated area where they could get any number of innocent people killed. Red Point Magic Academy is purposely located more than fifty miles from any area with a population density greater than five people per square mile. In the event of a disaster, casualties outside the school¡¯s occupants will be minimal.¡±


    I looked at the envelope still sitting on my lap, the beige of the summons envelope contrasting with the blue-grey and brass buttons of my long coat in a much more somber way than it had before.


    ¡°What happened to the last person who had this job?¡±


    ¡°He had a mental break from the stress after a decade. Fortunately the security staff managed to calm him down, but it was clear he couldn¡¯t keep the place running anymore. He¡¯ll be leaving on the train as soon as you arrive.¡±


    Looking at Reese dead on, I asked, ¡°One last question: why me, specifically? I¡¯ve been doing administrative work for a magical incident insurance company.¡±


    Reese¡¯s tail stiffened for a moment, before she answered, ¡°It was thought that an Archmage such as yourself would be more suited to the task at hand, especially given your particular talents.¡±


    Ah yes, that. Figures they¡¯d resort to someone with that particular skill set given the enormity of the task at hand.


    That¡¯s when I noticed a shift in the tone of the locomotive, the rotor in the alchemical cyclone engine clearly slowing down. None of the charm of steam, no matter the efficiency. As the train pulled to a stop, I noted, ¡°It¡¯s been nice speaking to you, Reese.¡±


    A couple minutes later I was on the platform, watching as a nearly catatonic old man was wheeled to the passenger coach on a gurney. Staring at him, I asked, ¡°Is that my predecessor?¡±


    ¡°Yes that¡¯s old Humbernot, Headmaster Adley. He just couldn¡¯t take it anymore.¡±


    I turned to see a tall muscular black man, his dark-skinned hands contrasting strongly with my own as we shook.


    ¡°Please, call me Adrian. And you are?¡±


    He smiled, ¡°Jethro Abraham Rug, head of the custodial staff. Though given some of the messes we have to clean up there¡¯s a permanent betting pool about if we¡¯ll see more action than the security team on any given week.¡±


    Right, these are the people who keep the building in a habitable state. In other words, they just shot directly to the top of my ¡®do not fuck with¡¯ list. The last thing I need is to find large amounts of magical waste dumped directly in my office.


    The man continued, oblivious to our internal discussion, ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ll be giving you the guided tour of the facility. First stop is the cafeteria, since it¡¯s close and I¡¯ll bet you¡¯re hungry after that long train ride.¡±


    Jethro was right, I was hungry. We passed several students en route to the cafeteria. Most of them were teenagers as I expected, but I saw a couple kids around who couldn¡¯t be older than eight.


    As for the cafeteria itself, it was a fairly standard lunch room. Single queue line down the middle, splitting off to a pair of buffet counters. There were people waiting for their lunch already so we simply got in line to wait.


    The line moved at a reasonable speed. We were just a few minutes out when I overheard, ¡°Benny, if you don¡¯t want your bed exploded you¡¯d better gimme all your pudding.¡±


    Immediately, my gaze locked on the source of the voice. It was a big burly teenager staring down at a little boy, the latter trembling with fear as he held his lunch tray. My jaw dropped with horror; blatant bullying in a school full of mages!?


    Then I spotted the little kid going for something in his pocket, probably a wand. In an instant I had my hand in front of me, making the Flux sign for a force field as I rammed power into it. A shimmering barrier erupted between the two students, the both of them startling backwards as it snapped into existence.


    I stormed over with a grim expression, demanding to know, ¡°What is the meaning of this!?¡± while keeping my hands at the ready in case either of them tried something.


    Neither of them did, thankfully. Instead they each pointed fingers at each other and said, ¡°He started it!¡±


    I glared at the both of them. ¡°You should both know that I am the newly appointed headmaster of this school. You will be coming to my office to explain yourselves later, correct?¡±


    There was a tense pause, before both children relented. Then their eyes widened as they felt the Obligation snapping shut around them. They would be coming by later, they no longer had a choice in the matter.


    Then I glared at the would be victim, ¡°You. What were you reaching for in your pocket?¡±


    Benny answered, ¡°Bionce charm. Would¡¯ve stopped his heart.¡±


    ¡°Give it to me. Now.¡±


    The bully startled back in shock at the realization of just how close he¡¯d come to dying over pudding, even as Benny passed the inscribed wooden disk to me.


    That immediate threat to life and limb handled for the time being, I got back into my spot in the lunch line. As we waited, Jethro remarked, ¡°You did a decent job there. The new kids almost always need a few scares to figure out how dangerous this place can be. Just don¡¯t be too hard on Benny; he¡¯s been bullied and beaten up for years.¡±


    I countered, ¡°He was still about ten seconds away from becoming a murderer.¡± even as I casually inspected Benny¡¯s inscribed charm. Nasty little piece of work; nothing groundbreaking. Any half-decent set of Flux wards would block it without even noticing. Still, it looked like it would work as advertised against an unprotected target¡­ for about thirty seconds, until the scribing burnt itself out.


    Jethro hummed sadly, ¡°Wouldn¡¯t be the first time it¡¯s happened here. Still, we try to keep the casualties low.¡±


    Then I finally reached the front of the lunch line, and started loading up my tray. Simple setup; five main menu items on offer, pick three of them, two dessert options. I went for the mashed potatoes, sausages, and peas, with chocolate pudding for dessert. Meanwhile Jethro opted for macaroni, baked beans, peas, and a pack of cookies for his dessert.


    After getting to the table, Jethro and I ate quickly in companionable silence. We still savored the food instead of shoving it down as quickly as possible, but both of us were focused far more on finishing our meal instead of making small talk.


    Jethro finished his meal a couple minutes faster than me, and waited patiently for me to finish. As I stood to return the stamped aluminum lunch tray, dishes and the utensils, I asked, ¡°So, where do you think I should see next?¡±


    Jethro thought for a moment, ¡°Security department. Need to get that weapon you confiscated properly processed.¡±


    And so we went, passing a grumpy-looking teacher with a long pointed nose as we traveled through the school. After only a couple minutes, we came to a door simply labeled, ¡°Security.¡±


    Stepping through, I could feel the shift as we entered a heavily warded room. I¡¯d have to inquire about the precise details of the setup later.


    More immediately, I was greeted by a tired-looking woman with a lollipop in her mouth. She asked, ¡°You the new boss?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m Adrian. You?¡±


    ¡°Rachel. Deputy head of the security department. Anything in particular bringing you here, or are you just taking the grand tour?¡±


    I nodded, and put the confiscated weapon on the desk, ¡°Benny made this and was about to use it on a bully. The both of them will be coming to my office later to explain themselves.¡±


    Rachel promptly started inspecting the magical weapon, even as she commented, ¡°Huh. Pretty good work by that kid. He¡¯s a keeper, definitely. I might use this myself later; only a brief pulse to knock someone over though.¡±


    My face paled, ¡°That¡¯s a lethal magical weapon! And you¡¯re thinking of using that on CHILDREN!?¡±


    ¡°The little shits wouldn¡¯t think twice about doing the same to us, so why shouldn¡¯t we?¡±


    Out in the corridor, Jethro noted, ¡°Anyway, next stop is the Ethics and Safety department. Anything you want to know about on the way?¡±


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    As we walked, I tried to conceal my horror as I asked, ¡°Yes actually. I was never actually told the list of subjects taught here, so it would be very helpful information.¡±


    ¡°Right, won¡¯t be able to go in depth, but I talk to my co-workers so I know who teaches what at least. Non-magical has seven subjects, all mandatory for students. Math, science, literature, history, civics, mental health, ethics&safety.¡±


    I remarked, ¡°Good coverage and those last two are extra important. Still I¡¯m not sure how you get the children to pay attention to such ¡®boring¡¯ subjects.¡±, making sure to emphasize the air quotes.


    Jethro chuckled a bit, ¡°Oh the new kids sure don¡¯t, but most of them change their tune once they realize they need approval from the Mr. Slate and a clean bill of mental health to take any of the flashy courses.¡±


    I quirked an eyebrow in curiosity.


    ¡°Well, for the Ductile kids we teach Modern Synthesis as the only mandatory language, Bionce and Craft are electives, and if you want to learn Flux, Mancia or Alchemy you need approval from the Ethics and Safety department.¡±


    I thought back to Benny¡¯s little heart-stopper, ¡°Considering the damage someone can do with just the unregulated classes, things might need to be revised a bit.¡±


    Jethro countered, ¡°Thing is, if we don¡¯t teach ¡®em any magic they¡¯re just gonna invent some on their own. That¡¯s why a good half of ¡®em are here in the first place. At least this way they¡¯re using languages we mostly have a handle on instead of a cant that does who knows what.¡±


    ¡°Point. Anyway, does this school teach Sharps? Most never even hone a skill to the point of transcendence, let alone while they¡¯re still children.¡±


    ¡°Eh. We get a few every year, most of ¡®em teenagers. We¡¯ve got workshops for civilian use, artificing, and combat applications. That last one needs Ethics and Safety approval of course. Speaking of Ethics and Safety, we¡¯re just about here. Hope you like talking with Mister Slate.¡±


    I asked, ¡°You¡¯re not coming in with me?¡± as I opened the door to the Ethics and Safety department.


    Jethro shook his head, ¡°Nah, I need to get back to custodian work. Got a tingle that some clever idiot flushed an illicit potion down the toilet again. Need to neutralize the septic tank before it gets nasty.¡±


    And with that, he was gone.


    As I stepped into the office, I could only think to describe it as extremely serious. The desk was functional but lacked frills. The bulletin boards were neatly organized. The filing cabinets were clearly labeled. And the balding man behind the desk had possibly the worst case of resting bitch face I¡¯d ever seen.


    As I sat, I greeted him, ¡°Mr. Slate I presume?¡±


    ¡°You presume correctly, Headmaster Adley. I¡¯m Andrew Slate, head of the Ethics and Safety department here at Red Point. Now that Jethro¡¯s shown you around, I¡¯ll be helping get you settled in with your administrative duties.¡±


    ¡°That would be greatly appreciated. I only just got here and don¡¯t really have much knowledge of how my predecessor was running things.¡±


    Mr. Slate scowled, ¡°Badly, especially in the last couple years. When Humbernot had to deal with stress he got¡­ very sloppy with his decisions. He just took whatever option made the stress go away quickly, even when that was very bad for the school in the long run.¡±


    Slate sighed, ¡°We¡¯ve managed to keep up a reasonable class schedule and avoid the building getting leveled, but there are several other aspects of the school that haven¡¯t been kept up to any reasonable standard.¡±


    Thinking back to the incident in the lunchroom, I remarked, ¡°Guessing a lack of bullying prevention was one of Humbernot¡¯s mistakes?¡±


    Slate¡¯s dead-eyed look said everything I needed to know about that. ¡°Leaving aside that, there¡¯s entire sections of the building that had to be sealed off due to persistent magical hazards. Cleaning them up would normally be the work of the custodial staff, but they don¡¯t have the equipment or skills to deal with it.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Thank you. Is there anything else I need to know right away, aside from where my office is?¡±


    Slate shook his head, ¡°No. The Headmaster¡¯s office is two doors down from mine, though you may want to wait a bit for it to get cleaned up. Humbernot¡¯s final breakdown caused some¡­ issues. Thankfully there¡¯s no magical hazards that resulted, but all the broken rum bottles and other damage means the room isn¡¯t fit for service at the moment.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Sadly, I do actually need to go in there. There¡¯s administrative paperwork I need to do my job effectively, among other considerations.¡± with that I stood, and began making my way to the headmaster¡¯s office.


    The office was just as much of a disaster as Slate¡¯s description had implied. With the sheer volume of hard liquor consumed it was a miracle Humbernot hadn¡¯t died of alcohol poisoning. Broken glass had been ground into the bear-skin carpet, stains of various bodily fluids were running down the walls in rivulets, and the desk was completely trashed.


    I was staring at it, mouth agape for several seconds. Then the fax machine rang, notifying me of a message. I quickly levitated the letter over, and quickly discovered that it was an invoice for¡­ ¡®intimate activities¡¯ that my predecessor had apparently hired.


    Oh Humbernot, this is a school, there are children here! What if one of them had seen you!?


    ...I suppose I had better check if that happened, so I knew whether any children would be needing counseling as a result of Humbernot¡¯s actions. I quickly withdrew a pair of glasses from my pocket. Ones that had served me well for years during my career investigating magical incident insurance claims.


    The symbols on the frames flared into action as the Mancia inscription took hold, pulling information on past events into the present. I kept my gaze firmly on the door for the entire time, scrolling through the relevant time interval as I pointedly didn¡¯t look at what happened further inside.


    Mercifully, no children had been present, though two young women fled at high speed. Shortly afterwards, Humbernot was hauled off in a catatonic state.


    I put my glasses away as I considered how to handle this. I wasn¡¯t kidding about needing to get at the administrative paperwork, but this office would need days of hard work to salvage, even with magic. Then I spotted the filing cabinets.


    Groaning with exasperation, I used some basic telekinesis from Modern Synthesis to lift the filing cabinets out of Humbernot¡¯s wreckage, then went back to Slate¡¯s office.


    ¡°Excuse me Andrew, but do you know of any unoccupied offices I could use temporarily?¡±


    Mr. Slate¡¯s expression silently screamed ¡®I Told You So¡¯ as he answered.


    ¡°Door between mine and Humbernot¡¯s. It¡¯s a bit sparse due to lack of use for about a decade, but it should be serviceable.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    True to Slate¡¯s word, the disused office wasn¡¯t much to look at. It had a simple utilitarian desk and a chair, but not much else. I floated the filing cabinets into the corner, set them down, and got to the busy task of making the office suitable for use.


    Next thing to do, change the signs for which room was the headmaster¡¯s office. The disaster area of Humbernot¡¯s office was not where I wanted people coming to visit to end up. I grabbed one of my spare slats, scrawled a simple Mancia inscription on it, and set it on the door to the disaster area. There, anyone who wasn¡¯t on the custodial staff should get major feelings of ¡°NOPE!¡± if they tried opening that door now.


    Now for my own door I inscribed a message in plain Harani ¡°Office of Headmaster Adley¡±, before hanging it up. I could feel my other side claiming the space as mine as I did so, and in we went.


    Right, time to read all the records from Humbernot¡¯s time as headmaster. I¡¯d just opened the filing cabinet to get the first set of records out when I heard a faint knock on the door.


    ¡°Come in.¡±


    The door creaked open, and a severe-looking woman in a business dress entered, carrying a large folder.


    I greeted her, ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Headmaster Adley. You are?¡±


    ¡°Lucy Thorncroft, one of the secretaries here. Since Humbernot left I¡¯ve been collecting complaints about the way he ran things from the staff; figured it would be a useful way for you to get a quick briefing on things that needed immediate correction.¡±


    I nodded, gesturing to the pile of paperwork on the left side of my desk, ¡°Add it to the pile. I¡¯ve got a lot of reading to do.¡± No need to ask where the secretarial offices were; I¡¯d seen a sign for them adjacent to Slate¡¯s office.


    Lucy obliged, and quickly left the room, presumably off to do a bunch of other important secretarial work.


    I¡¯d barely gotten a few documents in (and learned that the security staff didn¡¯t even have radios) when another set of knocks came from the door.


    ¡°Come in.¡±


    It was the two children from the lunch room. ¡°Hello Benny. And you are?¡±


    The teenager replied, ¡°Name¡¯s Mule.¡±


    I hummed, ¡°Right. Anyway, the reason both of you are here is because there was very nearly an¡­ incident in the lunch room earlier. If I hadn¡¯t intervened, Mule would have probably died and Benny would have definitely been arrested.¡±


    Both children paled with fear at the thought.


    I pointed at Mule first, ¡°You messed up big time. Bullying is not only wrong, but in this specific environment it¡¯s suicidally stupid. Every single student is here because they figured out how to do something very dangerous. Going around picking on people is just asking for them to use what they know on you sooner or later.¡±


    I then pointed at Benny, ¡°As for you, what you almost did went far beyond any proportional response. There are circumstances in which lethal force is justified under the law, but that was not one of them. If you¡¯re being bullied, you need to report it to the security office.¡± Thinking back to their behavior, the words felt hollow even as I said them.


    Benny snarked back, ¡°Oh, you mean like those dozens of times I did it before and they did nothing whatsoever? I kept records of how those goons behave, and they just don¡¯t give a shit unless someone¡¯s dying. Heck, I even brought in audio recording evidence one time.¡±


    And just like that, investigating the security department shot to the top of my priority list. There was far too much concerning behavior from them to ignore.


    ¡°Right. I will look into that, but it still doesn¡¯t make what you did acceptable. You can¡¯t just go around killing anyone who picks on you.¡±


    Mule¡¯s expression shifted to one of pure horror as Benny replied in a truly chilling tone, ¡°Nothing else has worked. Even tried a knock-out charm on the last few bullies and they just trashed my stuff after they woke up.¡±


    Then Mule asked, ¡°Er¡­ what happened to the last few bullies?¡±


    Benny shrugged, ¡°They failed the ethics test at graduation. Got a mind control thingy shoved in their brain saying they couldn¡¯t use magic anymore, then got tossed out on the street. Nothing to do with me, honestly.¡±


    The rest of the interview was largely uneventful.


    A week or so later I¡¯d finally finished reading through all the papers that were in the backlog from Humbernot¡¯s office, though the financial records were still missing. Still, a much more pressing matter was the conduct of the security team, according to Benny. So I¡¯d asked the secretarial department to poll the student body about it in the meantime.


    The report I¡¯d gotten back was damning. As far as I could tell, the existing security department were nothing short of Humbernot¡¯s goons for keeping the students in line and hushing up his malfeasances. They had to go.


    So I discreetly reached out to various hiring agencies for replacement personnel, explicitly noting that I was only interested in security guards willing to sign a magically binding contract.


    The telephone call I got as a result was encouraging, ¡°Good news, we found twenty security personnel who meet your requirements. They¡¯ll be on the train over tomorrow.¡±


    Right. As soon as they arrived, their first task would be to help enforce the firing of the people they were replacing. For some reason Humbernot had thought giving them all lethal weapons was a good idea, and I didn¡¯t want to wind up on the wrong end of that.


    I spent the rest of the evening drafting up an appropriate contract for the new security personnel. I knew how clever some people could be with weaseling around the explicit wording of the exact working of Mancia oaths and contracts, so I made sure to include intent clauses for the restrictions on behavior. There was more than just Mancia in there of course; my other side included more than a bit of their own talents in the contract.


    When the train arrived, I was ready and waiting for the new team of twenty. I¡¯d set up a little booth at the station where they could look over their employment contracts before signing, complete with some snacks from the cafeteria. Then the doors of the passenger coach opened and twenty assorted men and women stepped onto the platform.


    I caught a glimpse of the food and supply shipments being unloaded, even as I greeted them ¡°Hello! I¡¯ve got your employment contracts here for you to read, and there¡¯s sandwiches on the tray over there if you¡¯re hungry. I¡¯m legally required to inform you that the contracts are magically binding; if anyone doesn¡¯t want to sign, they can get back on the train and leave.¡±


    The first to sit down and start thoroughly reading was a woman bearing slightly avian features, a very blatant battle wand holstered on her hip. About an hour later she nodded, signed, and stood. The rest of my new security team soon followed, and Ms. Eagle asked ¡°Right, what do we need to do first?¡±


    I frowned, ¡°First, you need to help me disarm and fire your predecessors; their conduct has been truly appalling, but they¡¯re heavily armed so I want backup for dealing with them.¡±


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 Fiduciary Spelunking

    The security turnover was mercifully non-eventful; the old team was all split up into smaller groups of two or three, so when I showed up leading a team of twenty people they weren¡¯t too inclined to pick a fight. Within an hour, we had them all on the train to leave, and from there I could focus on the next problem.


    While I¡¯d managed to find the financial reports for the last two months, everything from before that was conspicuously missing. This was a fairly major problem, since not having those records had the potential to land us in all sorts of legal hot water.


    So I found myself asking Lucy where they were.


    Lucy grimaced as painful memories resurfaced, ¡°Accounting is in the basement, next to the boiler room. But you really shouldn¡¯t go there. Haggar rendered the room extremely hazardous in his efforts to improve the efficiency of his job.¡±


    I raised an eyebrow and asked, ¡°What in the world did he even do?¡±


    Lucy sighed, ¡°Mancia. Quite a bit of it too. Then¡­ Come with me, I¡¯ll show you.¡±


    And so Lucy lead me down through the corridors below the school. Jethro waved as we went past, soon arriving at a door practically covered in hazard tape. The sign above it read ¡°ACCOUNTING¡± in all capital letters.


    I reached for the doorknob, and Lucy immediately shouted, ¡°NO! Don¡¯t touch the doorknob that¡¯s how we lost Sarah!¡±


    Right. In that case¡­ the door opened easily with a bit of telekinesis.


    What I saw was¡­ very indicative of why the room had been sealed. Arcing conduits of Mancia script flowed through the air, file folders constantly re-organized themselves in all manner of ways, and in the center of it was a pair of dessicated human corpses leaking light from every orifice.


    ¡°I¡¯m guessing those two are Haggar and Sarah?¡±


    Lucy nodded, ¡°Yeah. They were good friends. I miss them.¡±


    And now the question was how to deal with this mess in a manner that let us access the financial records in a useful manner. Still, I had something of a hint where to begin; ninety percent of the script in there was Mancia, which meant it should be amenable to additional script if properly handled. Now I just needed to sit down and write out what was currently going wrong, so I knew how to fix it.


    ¡°Lucy, if you could get me a chair, a notebook, and a pen it would be greatly appreciated. I¡¯m going to be here for a while, mapping out what needs to happen.¡±


    As the secretary scurried off to get what I requested, I spent the few minutes pondering how Mancia could have gone so horribly wrong. It was a language specialized in information handling, so it shouldn¡¯t have been capable of this sort of bodily destruction.


    Then I noticed the floating file folders, and things started clicking into place. That was telekinesis, no doubt. Mancia was no good for telekinesis, but Flux, Modern Synthesis, and Craft were all capable of it in different ways. Come to think of it, Bionce borrowed Craft¡¯s highly precise telekinetic manipulation; it was needed for some of the more complicated surgeries.


    Right, time to get my glasses again. This time using them to trace flows of Ductile power, instead of peering back through time.


    Thankfully Lucy got back with the chair about now, along with the note taking supplies. I gratefully sat, and I got to the business of tracing out this whole mess. It took just a few minutes to notice that the telekinesis was anchored to a pyramid on the desk, covered in Mancia scripts¡­ as well as Bionce.


    I grimaced. Beyond the bare minimum for first aid, Bionce was definitely outside my area of expertise. I was going to need some help for this one. Still, I could at least map out all the Mancia at play, and figure out what needed to be done on that front.


    It took about an hour of careful note-taking and diagram drawing to figure out how this whole setup was handling the financial records. In a word? Badly. It was very clear that Haggar hadn¡¯t finished before it all went horribly wrong.


    Didn¡¯t the school teach Bionce? Right, that at least meant there was probably an expert on hand who could help me figure out the rest of what was going on. So I carefully re-sealed the door with telekinesis and made my way back upstairs.


    It didn¡¯t take me long to find a high level Bionce class in session, one of our two instructors currently explaining how to regenerate damage to the central nervous system. From the rapt attention the teenagers were giving her, Ms. Roun was doing a very good job keeping their attention.


    Soon enough the class let out, and she greeted me, ¡°Hello, Mr. Adley. Is there something I can help you with?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I was just downstairs looking at what became of Haggar, and I need a bit of help piecing together what he actually did.¡±


    ¡°...isn¡¯t it all Mancia? That¡¯s really not my field of expertise.¡±


    ¡°Turns out that he used Bionce for the telekinetic components, and I¡¯m not really qualified to deal with that level of it. I¡¯ve already mapped out the Mancia parts, but I can¡¯t fix it without help.¡±


    Ms. Roun sighed, ¡°Right, I¡¯ll be down just after lunch. You should probably eat too; you¡¯ll want to deal with this on a full stomach, and it¡¯ll give us some time to go over your notes.¡±


    With that we both made our way to the cafeteria. Turned out to be a sandwich day, meaning no mashed potatoes or macaroni. And so we ate and talked as we figured out what to do next.


    It¡¯s during this that we spotted an anomaly in how the setup was handling information. ¡°There¡¯s a gap here, where the bits that decide what goes where are supposed to be.¡±


    Ms. Roun looked it over, ¡°...Those are the scripts used for interfacing with a brain.¡±


    The Bionce instructor sagged as tears began flowing from her eyes, ¡°If Haggar had just told me what he was trying to do I could have helped with this. You can¡¯t just directly plug magic into a brain like that without a whole lot of interface layers, it¡¯s not safe.¡±


    Thinking back to what I saw in the basement, I asked, ¡°Feedback loops?¡±


    ¡°That and worse. The magic completely overrides all brain activity in the process; only way for someone to get out of that is if they have someone else at the emergency stop. They sure won¡¯t be able to think their way out of it.¡±


    I groaned, ¡°And the way Haggar set it up, anyone who went in to help just got grabbed and subjected to the same fate. I¡¯d need a full hazardous magic suit if I were going in there, and we just don¡¯t have the budget to get one of those.¡±


    Ms. Roun ate another bite of her sandwich as we kept thinking. After about ten minutes, she noted, ¡°I think that if you added some extra Mancia coding to the whole mess, you should be able to make document access externally controllable. That way we can at least access the school¡¯s financial records.¡±


    Roughly an hour later I was back downstairs, readying a paper airplane scribed with additional Mancia coding. The door of the accounting department opened inwards with a telekinetic shove, and I launched the plane in. At the same time my other half was pushing on reality; those financial records were important to the school¡¯s operations and we WOULD have access to them.


    There was a flash of information as the patch applied itself to the automagical filing system, then I felt something shift. Jethro looked a bit uneasy as the world shook to its foundations.


    Then text was projected into the air. ¡°Hello? Who¡¯s there? How much is this meeting going to cost?¡±


    This¡­ was not part of the plan. Instantly I figured out what had happened; this thing had already assimilated two human brains, and we¡¯d just applied an Archmagery patch that gave it advanced recognition capabilities. I¡¯d just pushed Haggar¡¯s dangerous magical filing system over the sapience threshold.


    I answered, ¡°I am Adrian Adley, headmaster of this school. We need access to the school¡¯s financial records for legal and budgetary reasons. Is there anything you would like me to call you?¡±


    ¡°Call me the Budget. I will assist in the financial operation of this facility.¡±


    ...That was better than I¡¯d feared, honestly. This was still a dangerous magical lifeform in the basement, but at the very least we had a functioning accounting department now.


    ¡°Budget, if someone were to enter your office, would they be assimilated the same way Haggar and Sarah were?¡±


    ¡°I do not know who you refer to. However, I will not act with hostility towards visitors, so long as neither I nor my documents are harmed.¡±


    The very next day proved that I had very good timing on getting the financial records accessible. Because that¡¯s when the auditor showed up.


    I wasn¡¯t surprised in the least; as soon as I¡¯d discovered the invoice in Humbernot¡¯s office ¨Cwhich <u>still</u> wasn¡¯t clean even two weeks later, and not for lack of effort ¨C I¡¯d immediately reported it. Honestly it would be more concerning if my superiors didn¡¯t send anyone to check on the extent of financial damage Humbernot did.


    And so I was waiting at the train station when an extremely grumpy and somewhat familiar-looking man stepped onto the platform.


    I couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°Would you happen to be related to Andrew Slate by any chance?¡±


    The auditor grumbled ¡°Cousin. Anyway, my name is Max, and I¡¯ll be auditing the school¡¯s financial records. I know you only started running the school a couple weeks ago, so you probably aren¡¯t personally liable for anything.¡±


    ¡°Right, follow me. That said, there¡¯s some very important information about the accounting department you need to know.¡±


    As we started walking, Max raised an eyebrow, ¡°Oh?¡±


    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°There¡¯s no good way to say this, but the records are currently being overseen by a dangerous magical phenomenon that I accidentally pushed over the sapience threshold. The Budget is reasonably professional, but actually entering the accounting office is a really bad idea. Also don¡¯t touch the doorknob.¡±


    Max chortled, ¡°I¡¯ve heard worse. I¡¯ll follow necessary safety precautions, but I do still need a look at your documents.¡±


    ¡°Figured as much. I had a desk set up in the hallway just outside the office. It¡¯s cramped, but it should get the job done.¡±


    Soon enough we arrived at the accounting department, and I telekinetically knocked on the door. The Budget opened it, and Max¡¯s face paled as he saw the morbid sight of Haggar and Sarah¡¯s remains.


    ¡°Hello misters Adley. Is this man the auditor you spoke of?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Budget, meet Max. Max, meet the Budget. Anyway, they¡¯ve got enough telekinetic range to move documents to and from the desk, so they should be able to move stuff around as needed.¡±


    Max soon sat down with his calculator and notebook, and the two of them quickly set about measuring my predecessor¡¯s financial indiscretions.


    Before I left, I asked, ¡°By the way, would you like me to have lunch brought down for you? I¡¯m about to go eat and it seemed polite to ask.¡±


    Max shrugged, ¡°Had breakfast on the train and lunch isn¡¯t for another few hours. Thank you for the offer, but no.¡±


    And with that I made my way to the cafeteria for breakfast. Even if Max wasn¡¯t hungry, I certainly was. Plus, it was waffle day; probably the single best food item the cafeteria made as far as I was concerned.


    When I got to the relevant staff table I happened to sit across from Jethro, who was busily eating one of the breakfast sausages he¡¯d been served.


    As I drizzled syrup all over my delicious golden waffles, Jethro took a break from eating to greet me.


    ¡°Nice to see you Adrian. How¡¯s life been going for you?¡±


    I shrugged, ¡°It¡¯s been stressful sorting out the mess Humbernot left behind, but I¡¯m finally making some progress. Managed to fix Haggar¡¯s invention at least well enough to access the financial records, though it did become sapient in the process.¡±


    Jethro nodded solemnly, ¡°Haggar was a good friend. Glad at least something of his finally panned out, though I wish it weren¡¯t this way.¡±


    I finished my bite of waffle, ¡°We all wish it hadn¡¯t happened that way. Anyway, an auditor is currently working with the Budget to figure out just how much Humbernot embezzled.¡±


    Jethro¡¯s grimace soured, ¡°It was a lot. I signed on about a month before Humbernot took over, and back in those days the custodial department was much better trained and equipped. We had a full hazmag team even! But after a few years Humbernot started boozing and doping to deal with the stress, and the money for all that fancy expensive equipment and specialized training stopped coming in.¡±


    I took another bite of glorious waffle, even as I continued listening.


    ¡°Haven¡¯t had a single functional hazmag suit for about three years now. It¡¯s why we¡¯ve just been sealing off rooms when something goes wrong; haven¡¯t had the equipment to clean it up safely.¡±


    I thought for a moment as I finished, ¡°Pretty sure the money did keep coming in; it¡¯s just that Humbernot re-appropriated it.¡±


    We continued talking shop over breakfast for another thirty minutes or so, before getting on with our respective duties. In my case, that meant double checking with the alchemy teachers if they needed any particularly noteworthy supplies.


    The first alchemy teacher I found was a woman by the name of Rou, with her golden blonde hair in a neat bun. Her response to my query was¡­ insructive.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been needing to get materials out of my own pay for years now! I could barely get basic solvents and the ingredients for one or two experiments a month. I¡¯ve done what I could, but having an actual budget for materials would help a lot. Thank you thank you!¡±


    It was only then that I realized I was being hugged.


    ¡°Rou, personal space please?¡±


    She jumped back in shock ¡°Sorryit¡¯sjustthelastbossbarelycaredan-¡±


    I nodded sadly, ¡°I don¡¯t blame you for it, but please don¡¯t touch me without permission.¡±


    After a moment to compose herself, Rou asked, ¡°So. What now?¡±


    ¡°Now we go over the list of materials you actually need to do your job effectively and figure out what it¡¯s going to cost.¡±


    Turned out that Rou wouldn¡¯t actually need anything too dangerous or expensive. The most hazardous things on her materials list were pure sodium metal for demonstrations and the mass-produced Energized Base Potion used for running engines.


    I quickly wrote down the list of materials, and started making my rounds through the other departments. As it turned out everyone was running short of materials, which was unsurprising given Humbernot¡¯s abuse of the school¡¯s finances. Still, the courses where the students were making things definitely had it worst due to the equipment and materials required.


    And so a couple hours after lunch I came back to where Max and the Budget were still going over the damage to the school¡¯s finances.


    Max turned to look at my approach as the Budget greeted me.


    ¡°Misters Adley. What brings you here at the present time?¡±


    I answered, ¡°I spent the last few hours checking up with all the departments about equipment shortages and training deficits. What I¡¯ve got here is a list of everything we¡¯re running short on, and I¡¯m wondering if the cost of them fits in the budget hole left by Humbernot¡¯s embezzlement.¡± before setting the compiled document on the desk.


    The Budget quickly started sorting through the notes I¡¯d provided, before answering, ¡°Not everything, but 85% of the shortfall is directly attributable to the embezzlement we¡¯ve already discovered. It is possible that there is more malfeasance to discover, but equally possible that the staff are deliberately overstating requirements.¡±


    I nodded ¡°When you and Max are done going over everything, could you please start purchasing relevant equipment using the fax machine I know you have? Maximum priority to hazardous magic equipment for the custodial department.¡±


    ¡°Understood. I will handle the equipment purchases as directed. But now I need to get back to the audit.¡±


    I left Max and the budget to their work, and went back to my ¡®temporary¡¯ office to look through the assorted student records. It was a way to pass the time at least, and also a way to learn who exactly I was supposed to keep an eye on.


    ...Wait, that student detonated his uncle!? I immediately started deep-reading the file on Ford Carpenter, and everything started coming into focus. Raised in an abusive household, invented a crude language reminiscent of Flux on his own, and was beaten to within an inch of his life before blasting his uncle in self-defense. The attached psychological report was equally dire, as apparently he¡¯d developed a hideous combined guilt/hero complex and ran a small student gang.


    Ugh. It didn¡¯t take much deep thought to realize this kid was going to be a problem. Suppose I¡¯d best read up on the rest of his gang as well.


    What followed was two distressing hours of reading before supper as I learned about the trio of Ford Carpenter along with the Gray siblings. Somewhat violent, insular, and with absolutely no trust in the school¡¯s authorities to keep them safe. They¡¯d gotten into trouble several times in the last few years trying to solve issues and usually just making them worse.


    The worst part is that I really couldn¡¯t blame them for ending up like that. It had been made very clear by Benny and everyone I¡¯d polled that the previous administration didn¡¯t care about bullying at all.


    Sighing in resignation, I put the files away and got ready for supper. I knew I¡¯d have my work cut out for me fixing this place, but this was yet another complication I really wish I didn¡¯t have to deal with.


    Supper turned out to be stew and dumplings tonight; the kitchen staff clearly wanted some extra time off, so they¡¯d only prepared one main dish for everyone. Though there was a nice selection of dumpling varieties at least. Dessert was a pre-packaged ice cream cup.


    I spotted Max at the staff table, the auditor in question glaring at one of his dumplings like it had offended him.


    I picked the savory pork dumplings and sat across from him, eating my ice cream first to keep it from melting. Eventually Max finished the dumpling he had been eating, then started to speak.


    ¡°I¡¯m not even done with the audit. It seems like the more I look into the more financial malfeasance I uncover. I¡¯m definitely going to need to finish tomorrow.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Last train back to the big city leaves in about an hour. You can either commute home or use one of the beds here; we¡¯ve got plenty of them.¡±


    Max sighed, ¡°I¡¯d rather sleep here in all honesty. With any luck I might be able to finish before lunch if I don¡¯t have to commute, and three hours on the railways to get home around eleven won¡¯t be conducive to good sleep or good work.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have one of the dormitory supervisors find an unoccupied room for you. There should be plenty available.¡±


    Max grunted in the affirmative, and we got back to eating. Honestly it was a pretty good stew; I might ask the kitchen staff to make it again some day.


    Supper over, I was officially off the clock. There didn¡¯t seem to be any immediate crises, so as soon as I had Max directed to his accommodations I could take a bit of leisure time.


    So a few minutes later, I was out in the courtyard, making paper airplanes scribed with a little bit of Mancia under the wings, and a tiny bit of Flux for propulsion. I¡¯d gotten twenty of them ready when a teenage student walked up to me and asked, ¡°Headmaster Adley? What are you doing out here?¡±


    I looked to her as I gestured up at the night sky, ¡°Everyone needs some time to relax now and then, and that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing at the moment. If you stick around for about half an hour you¡¯re going to see something rather neat.¡±


    ¡°Mind if I go get my friends?¡±


    I hummed in affirmation as I kept making my stock of magical paper airplanes.


    Sure enough, Rachel returned with a gaggle of other students just as I got the last one ready.


    I turned to her, ¡°Would you like to participate, by the way? I¡¯ve made enough that everyone could use at least one.¡±


    Hesitantly, Rachel picked up a paper plane and asked, ¡°Er, how do I use this?¡±


    I answered by picking up one of my remaining planes and flinging it up into the night sky. It flew unerringly upwards¡­ then exploded into rainbow streamers of light that curled around in the air for nearly two seconds before disappearing.


    The crowd of students stood in slack-jawed amazement for a moment, before one of them shouted, ¡°Do it again!¡±


    Rachel of course obliged, flinging the plane she¡¯d selected upwards where it burst into a glowing red flower pattern.


    The next few minutes were all good fun as my impromptu magical fireworks lit up the night sky. I did catch one of the students trying to fling a plane at someone else; but the plane went up anyway, denying the git their violence. I made a mental note to keep an eye out for that particular student in future, then got back to enjoying my evening.


    The next morning was oatmeal day for breakfast. Not exactly my favorite, but I¡¯d eat it. I¡¯d barely started eating when Jethro sat across from me with a somewhat pained expression.


    ¡°Jethro, are you alright?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m doing fine. It¡¯s the students I¡¯m worried about. One of ¡®em came up to me crying today. I¡¯d really recommend sitting in on Professor Arrence¡¯s Mancia classes. Something about how he handles things is rubbing me the wrong way.¡±


    Thinking back to that hook-nosed teacher I¡¯d met on the first day, I nodded, ¡°Right, I¡¯ll do that today.¡±


    It took a little bit for me to whip up a ¡®Don¡¯t notice the inspector¡¯ effect for me to sneak into one of Arrence¡¯s classes with, but I had it ready before his second class of the day. And with that I slipped into the back row of students and started taking notes on professorial conduct.


    Arrence began by taking attendance, ¡°Adam? Present. Georgia? Present. Emily? Late.¡± and going through about thirty names.


    Only after that did the actual teaching begin, and I got a bad feeling immediately.


    ¡°Today we will be learning how to record a visual signal. This is an advanced topic, so I don¡¯t expect any of you incompetents to understand this, but I will try and explain it regardless.¡±


    With that, Arrence launched into a detailed explanation of how Mancia video recording worked. It honestly wasn¡¯t all that complicated a topic, but at the pace he was progressing it wouldn¡¯t be surprising if most students missed some important bits of information.


    Then I noticed something else: professor Arrence wasn¡¯t just going too fast for the students, but he had a sadistic grin on his face as he watched the students struggle to keep up.


    I listened and watched intently as the teacher continued his lesson on video recording, then something stuck out to me.


    ¡°And as for the connection between each still image, those linkages can be automatically formed via a Hoptmann Cascade.¡±


    What. He just made that term up. I¡¯ve been working with Mancia in a professional capacity for over a decade and there¡¯s no such thing as a Hoptmann cascade.


    Arrence is teaching his class wrong <u>on purpose</u>.


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    After my realization that Arrence was deliberately teaching his students wrong, I continued to watch for another ten minutes as he ¡®taught¡¯ them about magical video recording.


    ¡°Right then, all necessary instructions are on the board. Class, I think it¡¯s time for you to demonstrate what you¡¯ve learned. Please get out your notebooks and prepare a Mancia inscription for video recording.¡±


    As I watched the students get to work, I had a sinking feeling about what would happen next. Still, I was here primarily to observe at the moment.


    On the other hand¡­ I started writing out an actual video recording script, just in case. It honestly wasn¡¯t all that hard to work with.


    The students were clearly having a much rougher time of it though. Watching closely, I was able to divide them into roughly three groups. Those who were following Professor Arrence¡¯s instructions, those who had studied on their own time, and those who were doing nothing.


    Twenty minutes later, I got to see how Arrence treated all three of these students.


    ¡°Class, it is now time to present. Show me your video recordings please?¡±


    Maybe three students had a working setup, all of them ones I¡¯d pegged as doing independent study. Arrence sneered, and marched up to one of the students who hadn¡¯t got a display working. I recognized her as one of the teenagers who¡¯d attended my impromptu fireworks display last night, and she was outright quivering with fear.


    ¡°What is this Gina? My instructions were very clear and yet you don¡¯t have a working video recorder.¡±


    ¡°But professor I followed your instructions exa-¡±


    He leaned in until his hook nose almost touched Gina¡¯s forehead and sneered, ¡°Clearly not, or you¡¯d have a working video recorder. I will be seeing you in detention later.¡±


    Oh no.


    I watched in horror as Arrence clearly intended to seek out another way to belittle Gina, ¡°Why don¡¯t I show you? Let¡¯s go see Geoffrey¡¯s effort, he¡¯s got a working setup.¡±


    And with that Arrence marched over to Geoffrey, practically dragging a terrified Gina in his wake.


    ¡°See, Geoffrey here followed the instructions and he¡¯s got a working setup.¡± Then Arrence actually looked at Geoffrey¡¯s inscription.


    Geoffrey shrugged, ¡°I made a working video recorder.¡±


    Arrence glared, ¡°Indeed you have, however the instructions were very clear about how. This is not how I instructed you to make a video recording inscription in the slightest. As such, I will be seeing you in detention later.¡±


    Only then did Arrence notice something, ¡°And you! You haven¡¯t inscribed anything at all. How can you possibly justify this!?¡±


    The student in question shrugged, ¡°I¡¯d get yelled at no matter what, so why bother?¡±


    Arrence stormed back to his podium, and announced, ¡°As it is clear the entire class is composed of sniveling incompetents, I will need to take extreme disciplinary measures. I will be seeing all of you in detention later this evening.¡±


    Right, I¡¯d seen enough. I stood, opened the door to reveal the pair of security personnel I¡¯d had waiting, and dismissed the notice-me-not effect I¡¯d had up.


    ¡°No you won¡¯t, Arrence. I¡¯ve been sitting in on your class the whole time, and it¡¯s clear to me that you view this more as an opportunity to terrorize children than anything else. You teach them wrong on purpose, then use their failures as an excuse to belittle them. As such, you are fired. Security will escort you to the train as soon as you collect your personal effects.¡±


    Arrence laughed, ¡°And who¡¯s going to be teaching them Mancia in my absence then?¡±


    In an extremely unimpressed tone, I answered, ¡°Anyone. Security, get him out of here.¡±


    Arrence was swiftly removed from the room, and I made my way to the podium. Staring out at the traumatized students, I sighed. ¡°You can have the rest of this period off. Starting tomorrow I¡¯ll be substituting until a proper replacement for Arrence can be hired. I apologize for not noticing his actions sooner.¡±


    With that the students started filing out of the classroom. I made my way out into the hallway as well, and quickly wrote a notice for the classroom¡¯s door.


    As professor Arrence has been fired for gross misconduct, there will be no further Mancia classes in this room today. Classes will resume tomorrow.


    -Headmaster Adrian Adley


    I checked my watch. Huh, it was about lunch time now. So off to the cafeteria I went.


    Turned out to be the same menu as the first day I¡¯d shown up, and I decided to try the Macaroni and peas today. Still had some mashed potatoes though.


    Max was at one of the staff tables, and I sat next to him. ¡°So, how¡¯d the audit go?¡±


    Max shrugged, ¡°The Budget was very helpful and it was a quick efficient job. But Humbernot really made a mess of the school¡¯s finances. Did you know he was actually selling teaching positions to anyone who would pay?¡±


    I frowned, ¡°No, no I didn¡¯t. But that explains quite a lot about how Professor Arrence got his job. I swear he was only here to terrorize children.¡±


    Max looked at me thoughtfully as he ate a bite of sausage, ¡°I note the past tense. Guessing you fired him?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I had security escort him to the train. He¡¯ll be leaving today, like it or not.¡±


    A grunt, ¡°Can¡¯t say I ever had the displeasure of talking to him, but good riddance.¡±


    With that we ate the rest of our lunches in relative silence, the food being reasonably enjoyable. I¡¯d picked the oatmeal raisin cookies for dessert today, and I was rather up in the air over whether I preferred them over the pudding.


    Still, eventually we got up to go our separate ways. Then I noticed Max hesitate slightly.


    ¡°Something wrong?¡±


    ¡°Just thinking I¡¯d rather avoid being on the same train as the former Professor Arrence.¡±


    ¡°Well there¡¯s five of them a day. Just wait on the platform until he leaves then take the one afterwards.¡±


    Max hummed in thought as he went on his way. As for me, I had to start the process of hiring a replacement Mancia treacher.


    I got to my office in a few minutes, and started typing up a message to fax. The keys of the typewriter produced nice clicking sounds as they clattered away, and pretty soon I had a basic request for prospective teachers to interview ready. I set it in the fax machine, punched in the fax number for the department of education, and hit send.


    The document was pulled through the photoscanner, and I proceeded to get some routine paperwork done while I was waiting for a reply. An hour or so later there was a rather unexpected knock on the door of my office.


    ¡°Come in.¡±


    It was Jethro Abraham Rug, along with one of the other custodians, her name take reading Jade. They looked happy.


    I motioned for them to sit, even as I slid a couple chairs out from the corner with telekinesis.


    ¡°So, what brings the two of you to my office?¡±


    Jethro spoke first, ¡°The shipment of new equipment you ordered came in on the train a little while ago, and there¡¯s a full hazardous magic suit in there. Two of them actually.¡±


    I hummed in acknowledgement; I had in fact ordered those. ¡°I know it¡¯s not enough for a full hazmag team, but the budget can¡¯t cover more for at least a month.¡±


    Jade said, ¡°Thank you. We¡¯ve lost¡­ so many friends trying to clear out various messes here over the years. It¡­ it means a lot that we finally have the safety equipment to handle it properly.¡±


    I sighed, ¡°You should have always had that equipment. Not only was Humbernot dangerously negligent, but he was embezzling a good chunk of the school¡¯s funding to support his habits.¡±


    Jethro nodded, ¡°Ah yes, I saw what became of his office during that final bender. We all did.¡±


    Jade shivered in disgust, ¡°We¡¯ve done what we can, but that room will probably need to be totally remodeled to be made serviceable again. There¡¯s just too much soaked into the walls and floorboards.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°By the way, why was he actually removed? I was told Humbernot had some sort of mental break, but that doesn¡¯t quite track with everything I¡¯ve learned about the man. I don¡¯t think the bender would have been enough to get rid of him.¡±


    Jethro winced, ¡°It¡¯s not a pleasant story, and I don¡¯t know everything that happened. But I think he finally did something that couldn¡¯t just be covered up. We all heard the ruckus as he fooled around in his office, then the two prostitutes he¡¯d hired ran for their lives with major bleeding injuries. Went to look in Humbernot¡¯s office, and he was lying there catatonic. I think those two had to do something in self-defense and it reacted badly with all the drugs he was on.¡±


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    My jaw dropped slightly as what had happened sunk home, ¡°How did the news of this not get out!? Humbernot was here for a decade, and this sort of gross misconduct should have gotten him investigated years ago. I could understand the embezzlement not making the news for quite a long time, but the headmaster of a boarding school going on drugged up benders isn¡¯t the sort of thing you just miss!¡±


    Jade took a moment to catch her breath before answering.


    ¡°Mr. Adley, you¡¯re forgetting that we¡¯re fifty miles out from any major population centers. With the relatively slow trains, Humbernot would have more than an hour for cover-ups before anyone showed up. Couple that with having the phone lines monitored and he was very good at keeping people from looking too closely.¡±


    I sighed, ¡°I¡¯ll need to do something about that. Need to make sure whoever has the job after me can¡¯t get away with that sort of malfeasance.¡±


    The rest of the meeting with the custodial staff petered out relatively quickly after that, and I turned my attention to the matter of filling in as Mancia teacher until a replacement could be hired. But I couldn¡¯t just let my administrative duties go un-performed. They were too important not to.


    That¡¯s when my other side chipped in; he could simply authorize us to be in different locations for a while. That way I could teach Mancia for a bit, while he could take care of the admin work.


    Right, that could just about work.


    The two of me were still mulling the idea over when one of the secretaries paged me ¡°Headmaster Adley, there¡¯s a telephone call for you. It¡¯s from the educational department.¡±


    I picked up the telephone, ¡°Hello, this is Headmaster Adley speaking. Is this the educational department?¡±


    The pleasant woman¡¯s voice on the other end answered, ¡°Yes, I¡¯m with the educational department. We¡¯ve received your hiring request for a replacement Mancia teacher. We don¡¯t have anyone available at the moment, but we should be able to contact you in a few days.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. Is that all?¡±


    ¡°No, actually. Since you started running the school we¡¯ve noticed rather a lot of sudden personnel turnover. You¡¯ve been very diligent about documenting reasons for any firing, but the sheer volume of staff you¡¯ve terminated is cause for some concern. We¡¯re going to be sending over a couple private detectives tomorrow to look over the rest of the staff for any more bad actors.¡±


    I hummed sadly, ¡°Thanks for the advance warning.¡± I paused for a moment, ¡°Curiously, what¡¯s happened with Humbernot? I¡¯ve recently learned some very distressing things about my predecessor and I want to know what¡¯s going on.¡±


    ¡°The doctors finally managed to wake him up at least. He¡¯ll be standing trial in about a month, once the worst of the withdrawl symptoms have passed.¡±


    The next day I got up bright and early. We had breakfast, got to our office, then my other side penned a simple authorization. Reality lurched, and suddenly we were apart. I took a look at the other me, ¡°Nice to see you again, Adrian.¡±


    ¡°Same to you.¡±


    ¡°When was the last time we weren¡¯t together?¡±


    My Sharp counterpart thought for a bit, ¡°A few months ago, when we had to deal with another schedule conflict. This is the fifth time we¡¯ve done this.¡±


    And with that, it was off to teaching.


    It was only on the way there that I realized I had no idea what sort of level the students in the various classes were at. Ah, this could present a bit of an issue.


    The first class of the day turned out to be the same group of kids I¡¯d watched Arrence belittle. As I watched them come in, I asked, ¡°So, I honestly have no idea what level of understanding you¡¯re at. But I know Arrence didn¡¯t teach you how to record video properly. So I¡¯m going to cover that today.¡±


    What followed was proof that I really should stick to administrative work, because I was no good at teaching. I scrawled out a detailed technical explanation of exactly how Mancia video recording worked on the whiteboard, only to look at the students and realize with horror that they¡¯d been completely lost. Their gaze had that distinct unfocused look of someone that didn¡¯t understand a word of what had just been said.


    I asked aloud, ¡°I went way past what any of you were prepared to process, didn¡¯t I?¡±


    One of the younger students towards the back asked ¡°Um, Headmaster Adley¡­ what do all those big words mean?¡±


    I looked up at the whiteboard, and the litany of technical jargon all over it. A trained professional would understand what it meant without even the slightest trouble, but these kids clearly weren¡¯t trained professionals.


    The rest of the period went effectively a long drawn out vocabulary lesson as I explained exactly what the various technical terms I¡¯d used meant. The whole time the class was extremely on-edge, as if I were trying to bait them into a mistake I could use to punish them.


    I only got through about a third of the jargon by the end of the class period, slumping into a chair for the few minutes until the next bunch of students arrived.


    The second period was much the same as the first in terms of results; I blew way past what the students were ready for and then spent the rest of the period backtracking through jargon. Same story for the third period, and then it was time for lunch.


    Reality lurched, and the two of me were once again in the same body. He asked, ¡°So, how did it go?¡±


    ¡°Terribly. The class was¡­ reasonably well behaved. It¡¯s just that I¡¯m apparently not very good at teaching. I honestly wonder if simply treating it as a supervised self-study period until the replacement is hired would be a better idea. You have anything interesting to report?¡±


    ¡°Routine paperwork. Got another telephone call from the education department, apparently there¡¯s a shortage of interested Mancia teachers, but they¡¯re sure they¡¯ll find someone.¡±


    The other Adrian mentally patted me, and together we went to get lunch. I was barely thinking about the food as I ate though, trying to figure out how I could somewhat improve the quality of my teaching skills until a proper substitute could be hired. After about half an hour of eating though, I still had nothing.


    Fortunately I only needed to subject the students to my distinctly bad teaching skills for two more days, because that¡¯s when the replacement teacher arrived. Unfortunately, I recognized him immediately.


    Staring icily at the Archmage in question from across my desk, I asked, ¡°So, Mr. Demouls. What happened to your little magical mafia? Last I knew you were still trading in dangerous magical statuary and protection rackets. Did someone finally betray you?¡±


    They sighed, ¡°They¡¯re all dead, sadly. Still, that chapter of my life is behind me now. I¡¯ve spent the last two years studying to be a teacher, and I¡¯m fully qualified.¡±


    I leveled an unimpressed glare at the three of them staring at me from behind two eyes, ¡°You do understand that for the safety of the school and its residents I will require you to sign a magically binding contract, correct?¡±


    Mr. Demouls smiled, ¡°Certainly!¡± no doubt thinking he could just slice through it if the terms irked him later. Good, let them think that.


    I wrote up the contract in front of him, making extra certain to lay the Mancia on thick where he could see it. After only a couple hours it was ready, and I passed it to him for signing.


    He read it carefully, then signed with a cocky grin. His grin vanished immediately when my other side¡¯s contribution kicked in, clamping shut around his actions. There would be no cutting his way out of this contract.


    ¡°Adrian, you didn¡¯t tell me you were an Archmage!¡±


    My unimpressed glare returned, ¡°I¡¯ll be honest, I¡¯m surprised you didn¡¯t know already. It¡¯s not like I keep it a secret. Still, it was very convenient for me that you didn¡¯t. Today is a break day for classes in general. You start teaching Mancia tomorrow. Your office is on the second floor, room 81.¡±


    Mr. Demouls left my office at the same time the two private detectives entered. I greeted them, ¡°Hello, do you two have anything of interest to report?¡±


    The pair of anonymized individuals frowned, ¡°Yes. Someone tipped off the teachers that we were coming. Everyone was squeaky clean when we looked, but something seemed distinctly off about quite a few of them. Here¡¯s the list of teachers we think are in need of a surprise inspection.¡±


    And with that the pair of honestly rather disturbing fellows left. I watched them go, then started reading their report.


    Of course I barely had a minute to myself before Lucy came in, ¡°Mr. Adley, there¡¯s a call for you. It¡¯s important.¡±


    I picked up the telephone, ¡°Hello? You¡¯ve reached Adrian Adley, head of Red Point Magic Academy.¡±


    The reply I got was¡­ somewhat concerning, ¡°Hello, this is Heron Blue. Is there room at your school to enroll another student?¡±


    ¡°...Probably, give me a few moments to check the dormitory listings.¡±


    I immediately started digging through the relevant files, and swiftly located the ones about dormitories. There was room.


    ¡°Yes, there¡¯s room. So¡­ what sort of student are we looking at having here?¡±


    Heron¡¯s voice quivered, ¡°My little boy Geoffrey¡­ He¡¯s eight years old¡­ and he¡¯s an Archmage.¡±


    My thoughts ran cold. Archmages did not form naturally. The only way to make one was to get a cooperative Sharp and Ductile in the same body, and that fact wasn¡¯t public knowledge. Most were the results of bizarre magical accidents, though I knew of at least one where all members joined voluntarily.


    I asked, ¡°Heron, what happened?¡±


    I could hear the distress in her voice, ¡°He¡­ He was playing with his friend Xiu, then something happened and there was fire and now Xiu¡¯s dead but Geoffrey¡¯s insisting she isn¡¯t dead and he¡¯s doing things I don¡¯t understand.¡±


    Yep, that was definitely an underage Archmage right there. ¡°We¡¯ll take care of him. I understand that this is a difficult time for you, but if you come over on the train I can explain most of what happened.¡±


    ¡°Why¡­ Why can¡¯t you just tell me over the telephone?¡±


    ¡°Because someone might be tapping the wires, and detecting that isn¡¯t one of my specialties. This is extremely sensitive information, and I will be swearing you to secrecy over it. This has to happen in person.¡±


    Missus Blue relented, and then all that remained was scheduling.


    Ultimately, it was determined that Geoffrey would be enrolled starting two days from now. After a lengthy period of consoling Heron Blue of course.


    I groaned as I put down the telephone; why couldn¡¯t things like this ever be simple.


    Still, it was about time for dinner. So I got up, and opened my door to see Ford Carpenter along with his two little minions Sarah and David. Considering the device they¡¯d been holding to the wall, they¡¯d clearly been eavesdropping. And was that shimmer¡­ they had a notice-me-not field up.


    ¡°How long have you three been sat there spying on me?¡±


    The three students startled at the fact I noticed them, and immediately ran for it. Oh no you don¡¯t. I threw up a force field blocking the hall, and closed in on the trio ¡°All I want to know is what you heard. Then you can go.¡±


    Ford practically growled ¡°We¡¯ll never talk!¡±


    Sarah on the other hand said ¡°You hired a mob boss to teach us!¡±


    As for David¡­ he was rapidly dashing at me to throw a punch. A punch that had clearly been enhanced with a lot of Bionce alterations to his muscles and skeleton. I projected another field to block him, but lost my concentration on holding up the first.


    The instant the three of them had a clear escape route, they took it. As they legged it, I pulled out my radio.


    ¡°Security, this is Adrian Adley. Ford Carpenter, Sarah Gray, and David Gray were eavesdropping on me during sensitive contract negotiations. Please confiscate their listening device and ensure they attend detention. In addition, David Gray tried but failed to physically assault me.¡±


    There was only a moment before I got a reply ¡°Understood, we¡¯ll deal with it.¡±


    And then I started making my way to dinner. It was pizza night, and I wanted to get there before my favorite type had been all picked over. Turns out that pepperoni with olive was popular.


    I caught a glimpse of security hauling Ford Carpenter off to the detention office as I entered the cafeteria, but it really wasn¡¯t my concern at the moment. I was hungry, and food at the top of my priorities list.


    I took my place in line, waited until I reached the front, and smiled when I saw that I¡¯d gotten here just in time for the last two pepperoni and olive slices.


    From behind me, I heard a teenager¡¯s voice, ¡°Oh. I¡¯d been hoping to have one of those.¡±


    Wordlessly, I floated one of my slices over to the boy¡¯s tray and collected a cheese slice to replace it.


    I heard a simple ¡°Thank you¡± from behind me as I moved on to collect my dessert.


    As I sat and ate, I mentally reviewed what had transpired today. I¡¯d finally hired a replacement Mancia teacher, I had an underage Archmage coming to the school in a couple days¡­ and a trio of children with a known tendency for vigilantism had heard everything I¡¯d said in there. Oh this was going to cause so many problems down the line.


    Still, the food was good enough to take my mind off those issues at least a little bit. Especially the pudding I¡¯d gotten for dessert.


    Once I was done eating, I made my way to my bedroom for some much needed sleep. I had a feeling I¡¯d be rather deprived of it the next few days.


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 New Students, New Problems

    The day after my phone call with Heron Blue was uneventful, aside from installing a bunch of privacy wards on my office. However, the day after that most emphatically wasn¡¯t. Early in the morning I was already waiting at the train station, having brought my breakfast with me from the cafeteria.


    The by now familiar small boxy locomotive trundled up, hauling its single passenger coach and a couple box cars for supplies. The door opened, and the people I¡¯d been expecting stepped out. That said, Heron Blue was quite a bit taller, wider, and more muscular than I¡¯d expected over the telephone. As for Geoffrey, he was absolutely covered in freckles all over his face.


    I greeted them, ¡°Good to see you Heron, Geoffrey. If you follow me to my office I¡¯ll start the process of getting Geoffrey enrolled and explain what happened.¡±


    Heron nodded sadly, ¡°Please.¡±


    Take a right after entering from the train station, down the hall, left into the administrative wing, past the wreckage of Humbernot¡¯s office, and then into my office. I sat at my desk, and scooted a couple chairs over for the people I¡¯d be talking to.


    I also retrieved a very important document from my filing cabinet, and set it on the desk. Heron took a look at it and noted, ¡°I¡¯ve seen one of these before. This is a magically binding Non-Disclosure Agreement. You¡¯re serious about keeping this from getting out, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    I replied seriously, ¡°It¡¯s for the safety of everyone involved, including Geoffrey. What I¡¯m about to tell you concerns the origins of archmages. There are too many people who want this power for themselves, and don¡¯t care about the ethics of it. As such, I need you and Geoffrey to sign before I will explain what archmages truly are.¡±


    Geoffrey signed right away, but Heron took her time thinking about it before she did too.


    ¡°You¡¯ll tell us now, won¡¯t you?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Correct. You are presumably aware of the difference between Sharps and Ductiles correct? Sharps can hone a mundane skill to the point of transcending reality, while Ductiles have access to the various magical languages, and can even invent their own.¡±


    Heron frowned, ¡°Yes? I don¡¯t need that part explained. But Archmages prove a person can do both, I think?¡±


    I sighed, ¡°No, we actually can¡¯t, believe it or not.¡±


    Heron looked ready to interrupt, but I continued, ¡°There are no exceptions to a person only having one type of magic available to them. None. Archmagery only looks like an exception from the outside. What actually happens is that if a Sharp and Ductile work very closely in tandem they can combine their powers to achieve effects that neither could do on their own. And this works best if both are in the same body as each other.¡±


    Heron looked at Geoffrey for a momen,t ¡°So-¡±


    That¡¯s when Geoffrey piped up ¡°I told you Xiu wasn¡¯t dead, mom! She¡¯s in here with me!¡±


    Heron froze in place for several moments as she pieced together the implications of all this, ¡°That¡¯s why you Archmages keep it such a secret, isn¡¯t it? You don¡¯t want evil wizards going around and stealing people¡¯s souls for more power.¡±


    ¡°Correct; it wouldn¡¯t even work very well unless they found someone willing to help in their plans, but the damage done would be far too great. There¡¯s already that ¡®Lord Valiant the Dreaded¡¯ character trying to capture an Archmage and coerce the secret out of them. Though with how it¡¯s been going for him he¡¯s really more ¡®Lord Vallium the Defenestrated¡¯.¡±


    Heron thought for a moment, ¡°Er, I have a question. If all Archmages are actually multiple people, then who¡¯s your¡­ partner for lack of a better term?¡±


    I answered, ¡°Also Adrian, though from a world where I¡¯d been born Sharp instead of Ductile. Anyway, I think it¡¯s time for the school tour.¡±


    I got up from my chair, noting, ¡°If you two haven¡¯t had breakfast yet, I recommend the cafeteria as our first stop. The food there is decent, and it¡¯s covered by the guest expenses section of the budget.¡±


    Geoffrey agreed, ¡°Yeah I¡¯m hungry.¡±


    So off to breakfast we went. Oatmeal day today, so not my favorite if I was being perfectly honest. Still, it was filling and warm; which had helped a lot earlier when I was waiting for the train in the cold and dark.


    I let Heron and Geoffrey sit at one of the staff tables today, though with the understanding that once Heron left Geoffrey would have to be seated with the other students. After a few minutes of quiet eating, we got on with the tour.


    I pointedly didn¡¯t show them anything in the basement. Not only was that not a place Geoffrey was supposed to go, but despite being reasonably professional the Budget was still an incredibly dangerous magical phenomenon. Letting children anywhere near it would be courting disaster. Also I didn¡¯t want to risk the boiler getting damaged; winter was rapidly approaching and I wanted the heating system in full operating condition.


    Anyway, I quickly finished up the tour. Heron agreed that this was probably the best place for Geoffrey, since he legally couldn¡¯t be any place with a population over a thousand until he turned eighteen. And I quickly got them through Geoffrey¡¯s enrollment paperwork.


    After that, Heron left them on the train, and I had one of the dormitory managers find the new student a room. It¡¯s only then that I made the chilling realization: I now had an underage Archmage at my school. If ever there was someone Lord Vallium would try to kidnap, it was Geoffrey Blue.


    Don¡¯t panic, don¡¯t panic, panicking will only make things worse. Practically speaking that terrorist was going to find out about Geoffrey sooner or later, so that meant I needed to make sure the school could handle an attack. The children under my care were in more danger than usual.


    Right, so let¡¯s think clearly about what I can do to mitigate this. My other side noted that he couldn¡¯t just write a rule requiring that all hostiles go annoy the budget; his abilities needed at least some level of legitimacy with the other party to kick in. However he could help make it so the security and custodial staff could simply show up where and when they were needed. Along with ensuring that children were shuffled out of dangerous areas.


    Still¡­ I glanced at the clock. Ah, lunch time.


    As I left my office, I spotted the same trio of students who¡¯d opted to spy on me earlier. They looked rather annoyed.


    So I asked, ¡°What is it you three want to talk about?¡±


    ¡°Who are you a spy for? You¡¯ve been changing staff around like crazy and it¡¯s really suspicious.¡±


    I looked down at them, my expression distinctly unimpressed.


    ¡°I¡¯m an insurance investigator who was promoted to an administrative position. I then got a court summons requiring me to be headmaster of this school.¡±


    Ford asked, ¡°And the constant staff changes?¡±


    ¡°The people I replaced were bad at their jobs, and in the case of Professor Arrence were tormenting the students. They had to go.¡±


    I didn¡¯t deign to entertain this any further, and started walking away. I didn¡¯t get very far before Sarah asked, ¡°What did you do to Humbernot?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help it, I laughed. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s the wrong question entirely. You should be asking what he did to himself.¡±


    So off to the cafeteria I went. As I was standing in line I happened to spot my head of security at the staff table. Since I needed to talk to them anyway, I sat across from them after collecting my macaroni, peas, and sausage.


    He greeted me, ¡°Hello Headmaster.¡±


    ¡°Please, call me Adrian. Anyway, I need your advice on a sensitive manner. Would you please come talk to me in my office at your earliest convenience?¡±


    Mark looked rather puzzled, ¡°Sure? But why not the security department?¡±


    I answered, ¡°Because I know for a fact my office has very good privacy wards. I¡¯m not so sure about the security department.¡±


    Mark nodded once, and we both set about eating our lunch while it was still hot. A few minutes later, we returned our trays and started on our way back to my office.


    The three from earlier were currently absent, since presumably they were still eating. However I had no doubt that they¡¯d be around again to spy on me some more. Seriously, did they have nothing better to do with their time?


    All that aside, I sat down across my desk from Mark and started explaining, ¡°So, the issue is that we now have an eight year old Archmage enrolled at Red Point. I¡¯m worried that a certain would-be Lord will try to kidnap him. Do you have any recommendations for dealing with this?


    Mark put his hand to his chin and thought for a moment, ¡°The obvious answer is perimeter wards, panic buttons in all the rooms, and giving the kid in question something that can get him away from trouble in a great hurry. Shame teleportation needs a prohibitive amount of power; it would be perfect for getting him to safety in an emergency.¡±


    My other side grinned using our shared face, ¡°Ah, teleportation is only prohibitively expensive for Ductile magic. For those who are Sharp or Archmages, it¡¯s just a bit restrictive as to when and where it can be done. I can handle Geoffrey¡¯s emergency escape button.¡±


    The conversation carried on for about two hours as we hashed out the details of a security system, much of which would need to be made in-house on account of requiring Archmagery. Still, there were needed supplies and equipment, and those would cost money. And thus I found myself in front of the Budget once more.


    ¡°At our current funding level, it would take two years to afford all of these materials without unacceptable budget cuts to other areas.¡±


    I sighed. So much for that idea, at least on any reasonable time scale.


    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    After some more discussion about what should be prioritized, I asked, ¡°Could you possibly start getting the highest priority materials at affordable levels? In the meantime, I¡¯m going to pen a request for additional funding.¡±


    ¡°Certainly. However there won¡¯t be any results for at least a month.¡±


    And with that it was off to my office, where I would be very carefully choosing my words. The fact of the matter is that the more people knew about why I wanted the security system upgrades, the more likely the funding was to get approved. On the other hand that also raised the likelihood of a move by Lord Vallium before we were ready. I was certain that man had moles in the Education Department for just this sort of occasion.


    My other side chimed in that with a bit of adjustment, he could at least ensure the moles couldn¡¯t directly use the information on the funding request. It would be fairly simple to make it so anyone in Lord Vallium¡¯s employ would simply not be able to read the sections explaining the presence of an Archmage on campus, even after the message was faxed.


    And so we got to work, typing up the request in approximately an hour before faxing it off to the educational department.


    I slumped in my chair. That had been mentally exhausting, and the day still wasn¡¯t over. Still¡­ looking through my paperwork, I¡¯d gotten enough of it done that there wouldn¡¯t be a major backlog if I put it all off until tomorrow. So I told Lucy I¡¯d be taking the rest of the day off, and went to sit out in the courtyard.


    I wasn¡¯t exactly expecting the gaggle of students who showed up, but in retrospect I really really should have. Staring at the crowd of assorted children and teenagers, I simply sat and rested.


    Eventually one of the older students asked, ¡°What are you doing here, headmaster?¡±


    I sighed, ¡°Taking a break. I¡¯ve had a very exhausting morning, and barring a major annoyance I need some time to rest.¡±


    Another student, ¡°Is it true that Humbernot drank himself to death?¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No, he lived. From what I heard he¡¯s set to stand trial for embezzlement and a few other things when he can get out of the hospital.¡±


    ¡°Are you a mob boss?¡±


    I stared at him. Of course that rumor had spread around; Ford wouldn¡¯t have kept his mouth shut about that unless actively threatened.


    Still, I answered honestly, ¡°No, I¡¯m not a mob boss. I worked for an insurance company before I got this job. Professor Demouls used to be a mob boss, but isn¡¯t any more. That said, I don¡¯t think asking him about it is a good idea.¡±


    The questions continued for about an hour, getting more and more outlandish as time went on. Eventually I got tired of them.


    ¡°Right, the questions are starting to get quite annoying. If you don¡¯t give me some peace and quiet I¡¯m going to the staff room for the rest of my afternoon. It¡¯s quiet there.¡±


    The questions didn¡¯t cease, and true to my word I picked up my chair and left. When I got to the staff lounge, Jethro also happened to be present.


    As I sat down on one of the sofas I asked, ¡°Jethro, is there anything fun to do around the school? I¡¯m taking the afternoon off, and it would be nice to have some activities available.¡±


    Jethro thought for a moment, ¡°Well, aside from the student clubs there¡¯s really not all that much to do around here. That said you¡¯re not legally required to be here every hour of every day. It¡¯s only an hour or so each way on the train, and there¡¯s plenty to do in Skanaport. You could easily take a short trip there every once in a while.¡±


    I smiled, the idea did sound quite appealing. The next train wasn¡¯t for about forty minutes, so there was plenty of time to look up interesting venues in the directory. I quickly noticed that there were quite a lot of bowling alleys there; I¡¯d never bowled before, but it seemed interesting.


    Jethro looked over my shoulder at the directory of bowling places. After a moment he noted, ¡°I recommend Helen¡¯s place. I go there all the time, and she keeps it very clean. Plus there¡¯s interesting challenge lanes for magically inclined bowlers.¡±


    ¡°I think I¡¯ll take you at your word. Would you like to come with me, or is this just a short break?¡±


    Jethro quickly checked his schedule, ¡°Yes I think I¡¯ll come along. Someone¡¯s got to show you how it¡¯s done after all.¡±


    And so we both got on one of the short trains headed back to Skanaport. It had brought the daily food and writing supplies on the way here, and on the way back it was carrying an awful lot of trash.


    The train ride was uneventful, and we transferred to one of Skanaport¡¯s local trams as soon as we disembarked. From there it took about ten minutes to reach Helen¡¯s Bowlorama.


    I simultaneously found the sign technically impressive and incredibly tacky. True, showing a looping animation of a ball slamming into bowling pins was a non-trivial piece of Mancia. But the color scheme was incredibly garish and the glow was bright enough to cause notable light pollution.


    Anyway, we went inside. One of the young women at the desk greeted us, ¡°Hello Jethro, who¡¯s your friend?¡±


    Jethro gestured for me to introduce myself, ¡°I¡¯m Adrian Adley, and I¡¯ve never actually bowled before. Jethro agreed to show me how it worked.¡±


    I caught a glimpse of Shauna¡¯s nametag as she noted, ¡°Right. A string of bowling is sixty per lane rented. Ball and shoe rentals are forty per person per night.¡±


    Very reasonable prices. I quickly dug out the money for the lane and my equipment rentals, while Jethro insisted on paying for his own gear. A couple minutes of changing shoes later, we were staring at one of the lanes.


    Jethro noted, ¡°I¡¯ll go first so as to show you how it works. You get two throws to try and knock down all the pins, then it¡¯s the next person¡¯s turn. And you have to keep your feet behind the foul line.¡± before throwing one of the heavy bowling balls underhand down the lane. It curved slightly to the left, impacting just to the right of the head pin.


    All but one pin went flying, and Jethro quickly knocked that one down too. Then he noted, ¡°Anyway, if you take two throws to get them all down that¡¯s called a spare. And that adds ten to the value of your next frame. Your turn Adrian.¡±


    So I grabbed a ball, stepped up to the foul line¡­ and quickly pitched it directly into the gutter. I did try to correct its course using telekinesis, but the lane was warded. My second throw at least knocked down a pin, but that wasn¡¯t really much consolation.


    Over the next thirty minutes or so, I learned something about myself: namely that I was absolutely horrible at bowling. At the end of the ¡®string¡¯, Jethro had gotten a roughly even mix of spares and strikes. Meanwhile I¡¯d got a total score of about thirty.


    Still, Jethro smiled, ¡°Cheer up, no-one¡¯s good at bowling when they just start. It takes a while to get used to how it throws. Plus the lane¡¯s actually oiled, and it¡¯s less slippery at different parts. So the ball tends to hook in a way that¡¯s not obvious if you don¡¯t know about it. Want to go again?¡±


    Looking at the scorecard, I remarked, ¡°You know what? We¡¯ve got another couple hours before we need to head back to Red Point and I¡¯ve got the spare cash for another few strings. Let¡¯s do it.¡±


    I only improved a little bit over the next few strings, but at least I stopped throwing gutter balls by the end of it. Still, eventually our time and disposable income ran short and we had to go back to Red Point.


    The train ride was uneventful once again, though the conversation was nice. Then we got closer, and I noticed a plume of smoke rising from the courtyard. I immediately reached for my radio, only to realize that I¡¯d left it in my office when I clocked out for the day.


    So as soon as the train came to a stop, I immediately got out and dashed for the nearest member of the security staff. ¡°Gloria, what happened?¡±


    The security guard turned to me, ¡°Some kid got the bright idea to bring one of his drawings to life. End result was a literal paper tiger mauling people until someone set it on fire. Only one fatality, thankfully, but the rest of the victims are in really bad shape.¡±


    Well shit. I¡¯d always suspected there would be a nasty magical accident at some point, but I hadn¡¯t thought one of the students under my care would actually die. Right, it was time for damage control.


    ¡°I¡¯ll have to write to the dead student¡¯s family about this soon. They need to know. Can I see the infirmary?¡±


    Jethro hummed, ¡°You may want to wait on that a little. Anne can be a bit scary when she¡¯s putting people back together.¡±


    I blinked, ¡°Anne? The school¡¯s doctor?¡±


    Jethro hummed, ¡°Yes, and she¡¯s very Sharp about it if you catch my drift.¡±


    Oh. ¡°Now this I have to see.¡±


    ¡°Well she¡¯ll be in the infirmary if you really want to watch.¡±


    I knew where that was thankfully; Jethro had shown me the first day. Still, I¡¯d somehow managed to not meet Anne up to this point.


    So I walked over to the infirmary, opened the door, and was immediately confronted with a three armed woman singing opera through her surgical mask as she busily sutured up a little girl¡¯s chest cavity.


    ¡°Right, the replacement organs should serve you well for about a century. No major exercise for the next two days!¡±


    I watched and waited with a mix of disgust and amazement as Anne moved to the next patient. She practically whirled through diagnosis, treatment options, and major reconstructive spinal surgery in the span of about five minutes. Even a Bionce master would be hard-pressed to keep up with Anne¡¯s pace, and most would be making critical mistakes in such a rush. But as far as I could tell, every kid Anne worked on was leaving with a clean bill of health.


    There was definitely a transcendent skill at work here.


    It took about twenty minutes for Anne to finish up with the last patient, at which point she took off her surgical gear and turned to greet me. ¡°Oh, hello! You must be Adrian, the new headmaster. Sorry I hadn¡¯t come to meet you yet, but it¡¯s check-up season and I needed to make sure none of the kids had any lingering health conditions.¡±


    I briefly reviewed what I¡¯d read of her on the staff roster, which wasn¡¯t much.


    ¡°Nice to meet you Anne, I¡¯m indeed Adrian. Er, I don¡¯t believe I ever learned your surname?¡±


    Anne¡¯s expression soured ¡°I don¡¯t have one. Not anymore.¡±


    ¡°Er. Do you want to talk about it?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    Immediately, Anne perked back up. ¡°Anyway, if you want to talk about anything else I¡¯m open for discussion. Shame I couldn¡¯t save little Reese, but her brain had been smashed all over a wall and that¡¯s one of the only things I can¡¯t fix.¡±


    I nodded sadly, ¡°Yes. I do have to notify her parents about this, and I¡¯m not looking forward to it.¡±


    Anne thought for a moment, ¡°Actually, you might not have to. I think we have everything needed to revive her. I piece her body back together, you retrieve her mind from the past with Mancia, just need to get an unused brain from somewhere.¡±


    What.


    I turned to Anne, ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t do that. Yes I¡¯m skilled at Mancia, but I never specialized in its more necromantic side. And we don¡¯t have any way to source a brain.¡±


    Anne thought for a moment, ¡°If you can¡¯t, there might be another option. I¡¯ll keep looking into it.¡±


    I felt sick as I walked away. What in the world was going on with Anne!? Who thinks that you can just find an ¡®unused¡¯ brain around!? Right, I definitely needed to look into her past more.


    ...Still, she seemed to mean it in earnest. Not sure if that made it better or worse. Thoughts whirled through my head as I kept moving down the hallway.


    I happened to bump into Jethro on the way, as he was busily helping with the cleanup from the paper tiger¡¯s rampage. After a brief conversation, he reassured me that my day was going to get better soon.


    My day did not, in fact, get better.


    When I finally got back to my office, there was a faxed reply from the education department waiting for me. As I read it, I felt dread overtake me from one very simple fact. My request for additional funding had been denied. I wouldn¡¯t be able to upgrade the school¡¯s security system.


    Geoffrey Blue was still at risk of getting kidnapped by Lord Vallium.


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 Schoolyard Vigilantism

    I barely got a week before the next incident of note, though thankfully no-one died this time. Unfortunately for me, Ford and his gang were right in the middle of it. I¡¯m not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that I wasn¡¯t there to intervene at the time. Instead I heard about it through the security team¡¯s radio chatter.


    I recognized Marissa¡¯s voice as she exclaimed, ¡°Well shit! They¡¯ve strung Jerome up a tree by his ankles!¡±


    Mark replied, ¡°Who? And does Jerome look to be particularly injured?¡±


    ¡°Jerome¡¯s saying it was Ford and his two goons. Hanse is getting him down now.¡±


    Mark sighed, ¡°All teams, find Ford Carpenter and the Gray twins. We need them for questioning.¡±


    In my office, I groaned. I just knew this would involve me sooner rather than later, and I really wished it wouldn¡¯t. But an incident this severe would need to be addressed.


    Less than thirty minutes later, I was proven correct. Mark showed up a couple minutes before the students in question to let me know what happened.


    ¡°It¡¯s a doozy, Adrian. Turns out that Ford and his friends weren¡¯t just stringing up Jerome for the heck of it; he¡¯d been bullying a friend of theirs and they apparently decided to take matters into their own hands. We¡¯ll be bringing in Jerome to talk to you right after.¡±


    I groaned, just in time for the three teenage students in question to enter my office.


    ¡°Hello Ford, David, Sarah.¡±


    I dearly wished to simply mind control them, but unless I could get a warrant for it that would definitely end up with me in jail. So I simply stared at the three of them for about a minute as I tried to figure out what to say.


    Eventually, Ford said, ¡°Headmaster I can explain. Jerome wa-¡±


    I cut him off, ¡°Jerome is none of your concern right now. I will be speaking to him after you.¡±


    I continued, ¡°Do you three have any idea just how monumentally stupid what you just did was!? This school is a ticking bomb at the best of times! Just a week ago someone¡¯s art project killed a student, and that was entirely accidental! If you three start a gang war between the students, it could easily result in the entire school being reduced to a smoldering crater and getting <u>everyone</u> killed!¡±


    I only then realized I was shouting.


    I immediately reduced my volume, ¡°I apologize for yelling.¡±


    Eventually Ford spoke up, ¡°I didn¡¯t realize that could happen, Headmaster.¡±


    I growled, ¡°No, you didn¡¯t. I recommend you look up the statistics on schools like this. Frankly it¡¯s a miracle the building is still standing after how Humbernot ran it.¡±


    Sarah Gray immediately nodded; given her bookworm tendencies I had every expectation she actually would read up on the matter.


    I stared at Ford, ¡°All three of you need to promise me that next time someone¡¯s getting bullied? You report it, instead of trying to solve it yourselves. The safety of everyone here is at stake.¡±


    ¡°Understood, Headmaster.¡± with a total lack of enthusiasm or sincerity.


    I sighed. ¡°Right. Mark, I¡¯m assigning these three so many extra classes they simply won¡¯t have the time to get in trouble, with extra emphasis on Civics, along with Ethics and Safety of Magic. Make damn sure they attend said classes.¡±


    My head of security nodded. ¡°Understood. Shall I show them out?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Jerome came in immediately after, and I could tell from his smarmy grin that he was totally unrepentant.


    ¡°Don¡¯t think you¡¯re getting off easy just because I was hard on Ford and company.¡±


    I glared at Jerome, who looked at least a little scared now.


    ¡°What did you get from bullying Selene? Emotional validation? A feeling of power? Extra dessert? Whatever it was, it¡¯s not worth it.¡±


    The pimple-faced youth chuckled, ¡°¡¯Course it¡¯s worth it. And she deserves it for showing me up in math class anyway.¡±


    ¡°Ford could have easily had you killed, you know. We probably wouldn¡¯t have been able to stop him until it was already over, seeing as we only learned you were strung up after the fact.¡±


    That seemed to get Jerome¡¯s attention, the memory of getting strung up that tree clearly still strong and painful.


    I sighed, ¡°What you need to understand here is that every single student at the school is here because they know magic. Magic is incredibly dangerous, so much so that it¡¯s literally illegal to know it in a populated area below the age of eighteen. On my very first day I confiscated a heart-stopping device that was mere seconds away from being used on a bully not too different from you. The instant someone snaps or gets pushed over the edge here? People die.¡±


    Now Jerome looked properly terrified. But I continued.


    ¡°It gets worse than that, Jerome. Because that sort of magical violence spreads in an environment like this. Before you know it, everyone¡¯s in a curse first ask questions never state of mind because the alternative is getting blasted yourself. Eventually one of two things happen. And I want you to guess what they are.¡±


    Jerome guessed ¡°Um¡­ one side wins or the police shows up?¡±


    Huh, hadn¡¯t actually accounted for that second one but he had a point. ¡°Right, one of three things happens. The third thing that could happen is that someone goes beyond what they can use safely and sets off a chain reaction that gets everyone killed. It¡¯s happened in underage magic schools before, and I¡¯d really prefer if it didn¡¯t happen <u>here</u>.¡±


    Something finally clicked in Jerome¡¯s mind, the raw fear of death managing to punch through whatever complex he had.


    ¡°That¡¯s why Ethics and Safety is required to take any of the fun classes isn¡¯t it? You need to make sure that students who know how to fling fireballs and lightning around won¡¯t.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°That is exactly the case, Jerome. Anyway, I¡¯m not allowed to expel you, but I will be giving you two weeks of detention with Mister Slate. I want you to think long and hard about if you¡¯re willing to risk your life before bullying someone again.¡±


    Jerome¡¯s expression had gone very somber as he left my office.


    And so I sat to think for a few minutes about what had just transpired. I probably got through to Jerome, hopefully. I highly doubted the same could be said of Ford and his gang, at least for the time being. Still, that¡¯s why I¡¯d shoved them through such an intensive course load.


    Only now did I look at the clock. Ah, it was lunch time.


    I sat across from Jethro after getting my food; apparently the kitchen staff had decided it was Eastern week, so it was decent-ish stir fried noodles today. Better than the noodles from yesterday at least; those were barely edible.


    My best friend in this horrific school nodded, ¡°Nice to see you Adrian. Heard about what happened earlier. You want to talk about it?¡±


    I sighed, ¡°Do I have to?¡± before pushing a lump of noodles into my mouth.


    Jethro shrugged, ¡°It¡¯d probably help. Bottling that sort of stuff up for so long isn¡¯t good for you.¡±


    I hummed, finished the mouthful of noodles, then replied. ¡°I don¡¯t know how I can get these kids to stop antagonizing each other. It¡¯s bad enough that total accidents can get people killed so easily, but I swear not one of the students has figured out that angering other mages is incredibly dangerous.¡±


    ¡°And how many well-behaved students end up in your office, Adrian?¡±


    I blinked. That¡­ was actually an excellent point Jethro had there. If I only ever saw the worst of the student body it would be very easy to fall to cynicism.


    ¡°Maybe I could set up some sort of club or something? Responsible students getting to spend a free study period with me? But that seems difficult to execute in a sensible way without just breeding more resentment among the student population.¡±


    Jethro nodded sadly, ¡°It¡¯s not an easy problem to solve. Better folk than me have tried and failed. It¡¯s why I stick to fixing up the building; it¡¯s not terribly likely to fight back when you fix it. Well, most of the time anyway.¡±


    I sat thoughtfully, ¡°That one time I provided paper airplanes for the students was pretty fun, honestly. Maybe I should make a point of spending an hour or so being approachable every day? I¡¯ve gotten through the entire paperwork backlog from Humbernot¡¯s time here, so I have the time to spare.¡±


    ¡°Heh. Not too different from office hours at a university, at least in concept. Might be worth a shot.¡±


    So that afternoon I printed out some notices about my new office hours policy, and had them pinned up on the bulletin boards around the school.


    I hadn¡¯t expected for the first student to take advantage of it to be Geoffrey Blue, though I suppose it made sense. He came into my office about an hour before supper, and sat as the small table I¡¯d had set up for students.


    After a few minutes, he asked, ¡°Headmaster, how do we do archmage things? Xiu and I are stuck with each other now, but we still haven¡¯t figured out a way to combine our skills into something more.¡±


    I thought for a moment ¡°Well, one of the more common ways to do it is for the Ductile member to work their skills through whatever the Sharp is doing. Thing is that¡¯s not always applicable, depending on the Sharp¡¯s transcendent skill.¡±


    Geoffrey and Xiu nodded, before asking ¡°Er, could we see how you do it maybe?¡±


    I sighed ¡°I¡¯m actually one of the cases where it isn¡¯t applicable most of the time. My Sharp side is a transcendent bureaucrat, which imposes notable limitations on what we can actually do. Still, I might be able to come up with some helpful ideas if you tell me what bits you already know.¡±


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    Geoffrey took a bit ¡°Well, I know a bit of Craft and that thingy that got Xiu in here instead of dying. And Xiu makes the best pillow forts and igloos and stuff. She put a whole ice rink inside one of them once.¡±


    I blinked. Xiu was a transcendent builder? Now that was both interesting and very very odd for one so young.


    ¡°I think in your case you two should probably do it backwards from the way I said. Use Craft to get materials ready and in place for Xiu to work with, and Xiu can build them into structures that wouldn¡¯t be possible otherwise.¡±


    Geoffrey and Xiu blinked as they thought that over. ¡°Huh¡­ That¡¯s actually a good idea. Would you mind if we brought some modeling clay in here to practice tomorrow?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I think it would be very interesting. See you tomorrow.¡±


    I didn¡¯t have anyone else in for the rest of the day, and went to supper. Thankfully it wasn¡¯t eastern cuisine again; that had been getting very samey.


    Jethro greeted me with a dour expression, ¡°Hello, Adrian. You look to be in a decent mood.¡±


    I sat down, ¡°Is something wrong?¡±


    He growled out, ¡°Some joker thought it would be funny to set off an instant swamp in the corridor just outside the second alchemy lab. It¡¯s really really not! It¡¯s going to take days to drain the water, cut down the trees, remove the scum, repair the structural damage, and that¡¯s not even mentioning the crocodiles! Two of my people lost limbs to the fucking crocodiles before we could get security in to deal with it!¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I have a pair of glasses that can see the past. Want me to swing by and see who did it?¡±


    Jethro nodded angrily, ¡°Would you please? I really really want to rip that idiot a new one, people almost died over this!¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°Would you mind if I took a bit to check the exact rules here? Because I think that this is the sort of deliberate malicious action where I¡¯m supposed to get law enforcement involved.¡±


    Jethro agreed furiously, and we parted ways for the time being.


    As soon as I got to my office, I got out the regulations book about how the school was ostensibly supposed to run. There was a conveniently labeled section about when to involve law enforcement, and reading it would be a very very good thing. Double-checking indicated that yes, this was a situation in which I was supposed to involve the National Magical Crimes Unit.


    So I got out the telephone and called their number.


    ¡°Hello, this is the National Magical Crimes Unit. Why are you calling today, headmaster?¡±


    Figures they¡¯d have the number on record. ¡°Hello, one of my students has committed a crime. Specifically they set off an instant swamp, causing serious structural damage and severely injuring two of the custodial staff. I¡¯m requesting that you come arrest them, please.¡±


    ¡°Do you know the identity of the student?¡±


    I answered, ¡°Not yet, but I will by the time you can get someone out here. I have a retrovision item, so finding out who they are should be quite easy.¡±


    It would be admissible in court; I already knew that from a long time as an insurance investigator. Legally, it was about on par with security recordings.


    ¡°Understood. We¡¯ll have a team over there as soon as possible.¡±


    Right. Phone call over, next thing on the list inform security to be ready to receive law enforcement. That done, I started making my way over to where the disaster site was located.


    I could smell it before I could see it, the stench of a swamp being very evident despite the school¡¯s air purifiers working as hard as they possibly could. Then it came into view. Yep, that was a swamp alright. Mangrove trees and everything. I spotted Jethro on the other side of the sunken pit in the floor, getting a pump ready to remove the water.


    ¡°Hey Jethro, about how long has this swamp been here?¡±


    The head custodian replied, ¡°About three hours. Guessing you need that to dial in how long ago to look?¡±


    I nodded, and got out my glasses again. Dial in the correct timeframe and¡­ Oh. That was two perpetrators, not just one. Fifteen and sixteen by the looks of it, red hair, freckles. Let¡¯s just activate the ¡°Print Person¡± function on there and¡­


    I was now holding a page for each of the pair, with both a whole-body shot and a close-up of their face. No names sadly, but I definitely recalled seeing these two around the school before. One of our sibling pairs if I recalled correctly. Right, check for identity masking wards and other such obfuscation¡­ nothing. They hadn¡¯t even bothered to shield against retrovision.


    I nodded, ¡°Right, I¡¯m going to run these through the photocopier a bunch of times.¡±


    It was only then that I heard the roaring noise and realized that the NMCU hadn¡¯t taken the train. They¡¯d taken an aircraft.


    I quickly dashed out into the courtyard just in time to see the sleek troop-carrier hovering to a landing. Several officers in full tactical suits got out of the vehicle, and they immediately turned to me. ¡°Greetings. Have you identified the perpetrator?¡±


    I passed them the pages, ¡°These two, though I haven¡¯t had time to match names to faces.¡± even as I felt a truthfulness probe scraping up against my mind.


    They nodded, ¡°Understood.¡± and fed the pages into some sort of device. Immediately I could feel the Mancia sweep crawling through the school, raising the hairs on the back of my neck.


    Something beeped, and the squad immediately dashed off down one of the corridors.


    I barely had to wait a few minutes before the tactical squad returned, hauling two terrified teenagers in immobilizing spells. They were the ones I¡¯d seen setting off the instant swamp in that corridor, no doubt about it.


    The officers and the two teenagers were quickly hauled aboard the troop carrier, and off they flew.


    That incident dealt with, I went to tell Jethro about what happened. As he busily drained the water from the crater he remarked, ¡°Hmmmph. Hope those two never get to see the light of day again.¡±


    I sighed. ¡°That¡¯s not terribly likely. They¡¯ll be given a fair trial, and if convicted they¡¯re going to have their ability to use magic brainwashed out of them, spend a few years behind bars, then get released. Side note we can probably expect detectives to be crawling all over the school for a few weeks. So we¡¯d best document the exact state of the swamp before you finish fixing it up.¡±


    Jethro took a deep breath, ¡°I know. I¡¯m just really really mad; some of my best friends here almost died. Even if Anne has them fixed up good as new in a few days, that really isn¡¯t easy to get over.¡±


    That¡¯s about when three other custodians showed up. ¡°Hey Jethro. We just got here from the infirmary; Becky and Tim are stable, and Anne says she¡¯ll have the new arms ready for them by tomorrow.¡±


    Jethro continued to pump ¡°Anything else?¡±


    I read Reed¡¯s nametag as he said ¡°Yeah. Boss, you¡¯re dead tired. Why don¡¯t you let us take over this mess so you can get some sleep?¡±


    There was no response for a few minutes, then Jethro relented ¡°Alright.¡± passed the pump tube to Reed, and wandered off towards his bedroom.


    You know, going to bed seemed like a really good idea. This evening had been absolutely exhausting.


    A few minutes later, I had made it to my room. Brush my teeth, get cleaned up for the night, then clamber into bed. The next thing I knew I was sitting across a table from myself. Ah, one of those dreams where the both of me could discuss things¡­


    ¡°So. That¡¯s the first time some of our students have been arrested. Did we really make the correct choice there?¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°One way or another, what the pair of them did had to be addressed. People could have died over that. And unlike the paper tiger incident they did it on purpose.¡±


    ¡°True, but we both know what they¡¯re in for in juvenile detention. They use Mancia to forbid all inmates from using magic or trying to escape for the duration of their sentence, and the bar on magic could easily be for life. They¡¯re never going to have a chance to get better.¡±


    ¡°Even so, they were an active threat to the safety of everyone else here. They couldn¡¯t stay, or they¡¯d have just kept doing things like that until their actions killed someone.¡±


    Other me remained silent for a moment, and I continued, ¡°Also, we¡¯ve seen that type of behavior before. As far as they¡¯re concerned other people getting hurt was never their fault and it wasn¡¯t that bad anyway, even when it was absolutely intentional on their part.¡±


    ¡°¡­ I know, but I still have misgivings and doubts about how that went.¡±


    ¡°I do too Adrian, I do too.¡±


    The next morning we felt dead tired despite having gotten to bed on time. A quick check of the clock revealed the reason: it was about two in the morning. Despite our best efforts we couldn¡¯t get back to sleep, so we staggered over to our office at around four to get today¡¯s routine paperwork out of the way before our thoughts dissolved into mush.


    The next thing we knew, Lucy had come over.


    ¡°Adrian? Are you alright? I found you here passed out on your desk.¡±


    I groaned, ¡°Woke up around two in the morning and couldn¡¯t go back to sleep. Came here to get the routine paperwork out of the way.¡±


    Lucy gently patted me on the shoulder, ¡°Sorry to say it, but I don¡¯t think that worked out as planned.¡±


    I looked down at the papers I¡¯d done overnight. What was normally crisp legible handwriting was indecipherable scrawl, and the ink had run thanks to me drooling on it in my sleep. Well that was a waste of time and effort.


    Sensing my distress, Lucy noted, ¡°I think you should take the day off. The school¡¯s not going to explode if you leave it be for a day, and you¡¯re clearly not in any state for complicated thinking right now.¡±


    I gurbled something about tigers and swamps, but it was pretty incoherent.


    Lucy nodded sadly, ¡°Off to bed with you. We¡¯ll have your meals brought to your room.¡±


    I hated to admit it, but Lucy was right. So I stumbled off to bed, just in time for a levitating food tray to arrive with a stack of pancakes and some breakfast sausages. Ah¡­ this was nice.


    The rest of the morning passed uneventfully, as far as I knew. Security¡¯s radio chatter certainly didn¡¯t say anything particularly dangerous was happening. Still, by the afternoon I felt rested enough to at least try to get back to work.


    I¡¯m not sure why I was surprised that one of the first things I encountered was Ford Carpenter prowling the halls looking for bullies again. Oh right, because I¡¯d explicitly had his schedule altered to deny him the opportunity to do this. Though his two buddies didn¡¯t seem to be present at the moment.


    ¡°Hello Ford.¡±


    He whirled to look at me, shock evident on his face.


    ¡°Looking for bullies to fight again, even after I had that little talk with you?¡±


    Ford¡¯s response was the least convincing ¡®no¡¯ I¡¯d ever heard, and that was after several years as an insurance investigator.


    I groaned and checked the planner, ¡°Aren¡¯t you supposed to be in civics right now? We¡¯ve been over this, you picking fights with other students here is a threat to everyone¡¯s safety.¡±


    Ford tried walking away, and I let him for the time being. Fine, if that¡¯s how he wanted to play it¡­


    I let my other side open a random door, and we stepped through it into my office. I got myself settled in my chair, and about twenty seconds later Ford wound up coming through the door. It closed behind him before he realized where he was.


    Oh watching the expression of confusion on his face was delightful.


    ¡°What? Er. But this isn¡¯t¡­ where that door goes.¡±


    I groused, ¡°It was for about five seconds, when you opened it. Now, I¡¯m going to be incredibly blunt. Since you somehow evaded security when they were supposed to ensure you stayed out of trouble, I¡¯m going to be directly preventing the mere possibility.¡±


    Ford involuntarily twitched in fear. Huh. Not what I was going for but I¡¯d take it.


    I let my other side take over, ¡°As headmaster of this school, I hereby forbid you from involving yourself in any further bullying incidents. You can still report them to security, or defend yourself if attacked. But if you try to get involved in a fight that isn¡¯t yours, you¡¯ll find yourself on the other side of the school before you can cause any problems!¡±


    We glared as Transcendent Authority flared ¡°Do you understand me, Ford Carpenter?¡±


    He froze in place, like a deer in the headlights. After a few moments, he silently nodded.


    Not quite good enough for the Obligation to snap shut.


    ¡°A silent nod isn¡¯t enough, Ford. Do you understand me?¡±


    Finally he relented ¡°I understand, Headmaster.¡±


    And with that the Obligation locked into place, hopefully keeping Ford from setting off a magical gang war in the middle of Red Point magic academy.


    ¡°You may go, Ford.¡±


    Silently, the boy turned and left. As soon as he was gone we slumped down in our chair over the enormity of what we¡¯d just done. It was technically legal, but oh was it problematic¡­


    I hoped tomorrow would be a bit better.


    <hr>


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 And Now a Word From Our Villain

    Approximately two hundred miles northeast of Red Point, a square-jawed asshole in a suit was sitting behind a desk. Said desk was in a partially refurbished castle on a dark and stormy island, which itself was seldom visited. Which is exactly why said asshole picked it as his base of operations, of course.


    Of course, his train of thought was rudely interrupted by one of his minions. ¡°Lord Valiant! We¡¯ve learned the location of an underage archmage!¡±


    The aforementioned ¡®Lord¡¯ looked up from his scheming for a moment.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t aware any underage archmages existed, so this is very good news indeed. Tell me, who exactly are we looking for, and where are they?¡±


    The rotund blonde acting as messenger hurriedly answered, ¡°The archmage in question is an eight year old boy named Geoffrey Blue, and he¡¯s currently attending Red Point Magic Academy.¡±


    Lord Vallium the Defenestrated grinned maliciously. Ah, a perfect target! Red Point was a dump as far as boarding schools for magic went, thanks to that Humbernot fellow going around the bend. And an eight year old boy was likely to be far less dangerous than the archmages he usually tried to capture.


    ¡°Ah, this should be quite easy then. Red Point might as well not have a security department, and one of their Mancia teachers is already on my payroll. Many thanks to Humbernot for driving that school¡¯s quality into the ground.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°You seem hesitant, Steven. Do you have important information you haven¡¯t told me yet?¡±


    The now-named Steven answered, ¡°Humbernot hasn¡¯t been headmaster of Red Point for about four months, Lord Valiant. His replacement has been making lots of changes, big ones. The security team was completely replaced, and Arrence was fired for cause. Though he seems to still be drawing his pay from you.¡±


    The would-be Lord glared at his subordinate. ¡°I see. Who, exactly, did they get to be headmaster of that dump?¡±


    ¡°That would be Adrian Adley, sir. The archmage who-¡±


    Lord Vallium snapped, ¡°Yes I know exactly what Adrian did to me all those years ago! Are there any other Archmages at that school I should be warned about, perhaps?¡±


    Steven quivered, ¡°Yes actually. It¡¯s a bit foggy, but apparently Lawrence Demouls was hired to replace Arrence as Mancia teacher.¡±


    And just like that ¡®Lord Valiant¡¯ shriveled in fear. ¡°Adrian hired him!? The only reason I¡¯m still alive is because Demouls couldn¡¯t find me after I tried extorting the secret out of him! If this gets traced back to me I¡¯m definitely done for!¡±


    Steven asked, ¡°So¡­ we¡¯re not going to be kidnapping Geoffrey Blue?¡±


    Lord Valiant snorted. ¡°What, no! Of course we¡¯re going to be kidnapping him; he¡¯s simply too good of a target. We¡¯ll just need to be very very careful about how we go about it, make sure to scout out the place ahead of time, and send someone suitably expendable to do the actual deed.¡±


    Steven carefully raised a finger, as if to ask.


    ¡°What? No, not you. You¡¯re one of the only people willing to tell me unpleasant truths. That¡¯s the exact opposite of being expendable. No, we need someone very very fast, violent, and who¡¯ll do the job without asking any unfortunate questions.¡±


    Steven noted, ¡°I think I might know someone like that, but he requires pay in a distinctly non-standard currency.¡±


    ¡®Lord Valiant¡¯ quirked an eyebrow, ¡°Oh? What does he want? Gold bullion? Diamonds? Cowry shells? Teeth?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s a vampire, my Lord.¡±


    Vallium smiled, ¡°Ah. Blood then. Won¡¯t be hard to arrange; just capture a few unwatched people from rural areas to feed him. That said, hiring him will need to wait a little bit. We need an intermediary, and we also need to scout Red Point magic academy; find out what exactly Adrian¡¯s done with the place.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll get started on finding a suitable go-between then?¡±


    ¡°Please do. Oh, and call for Helen would you? I think she¡¯d be a perfect scout. She¡¯s got that five year old ductile of hers after all. Just teach the kid some harmless tricks and suddenly Helen has to come visit the school.¡±


    Steven nodded, and left the room.


    A couple minutes later a muscular woman entered Vallium¡¯s office.


    ¡°Yes, my lord?¡±


    The self-proclaimed Lord nodded, ¡°Hello, Helen. There¡¯s something I need you to do for the cause. I need you to secure a tour of Red Point Magic Academy and ask lots of questions about their security.¡±


    Helen nodded hesitantly, ¡°I can think of a way to do it, but I don¡¯t particularly want to be separated from Sarah for thirteen years.¡±


    ¡°Do you want to be an archmage when I find out the secret or not?¡±


    ¡°I do, I very much want to be an archmage. I¡¯ll do it. I just need a little bit of time to get Sarah ready. One question though. Are you planning anything dangerous at Red Point?¡±


    Lord Vallium simply answered, ¡°If you care for Sarah¡¯s safety, enroll her at a different school when all is said and done.¡±


    Helen¡¯s face paled slightly, and she answered, ¡°I understand, my lord. I¡¯ll teach her a few first aid spells with Bionce, I think. Minimal chance of issues for her or legal trouble for me.¡±


    ¡°Very well, now get on with it.¡±


    Helen took the teleportation pad home. Yes it was very very expensive to run, but Vallium valued the security it offered enough to eat the cost.


    When she got there, Helen found Sarah playing with her dollies.


    ¡°Sarah, I think there¡¯s something I need to teach you. If you get injured or sick, there¡¯s some things you can do to make the problem less bad until you can see a doctor.¡±


    Sarah nodded, ¡°Ok mom, how do they work?¡±


    ¡°Well, first I¡¯m going to teach you a spell to close wounds and stop bleeding. It doesn¡¯t heal exactly, but it does stop things from getting worse.¡±


    ¡°Oh that was what you used when I scraped my knee that one time!¡±


    Elsewhere and a day later, Steven was programming a go-between for talking to the vampire. And programming was literal; he¡¯d wiped out whoever used to be in that man¡¯s skull with Mancia, and now the husk needed instruction on how to proceed.


    The victim in question had been a farm hand who lived miles from the nearest town; few would immediately notice their sudden disappearance. Presently, his body was strapped to a chair for Steven to work on it.


    ¡°Hmmm. Still needs contingency handling. Though I suppose I could configure it as a puppet, that would also work.¡±


    That¡¯s when Lord Valiant entered the room, observing Steven¡¯s work.


    ¡°Ah, Steven. I see you have our go-between. Is he ready?¡±


    Steven looked up from his work, ¡°No, my Lord. He was most uncooperative, so I had to erase his mind. I¡¯m currently programming what¡¯s left with what we need it to do. I¡¯ll have him ready to go in maybe two days.¡±


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    Lord Valiant nodded, ¡°I understand. That¡¯s quicker than we¡¯ll need him ready by anyway; Helen¡¯s visit to Red Point is scheduled for three days from now.¡±


    Steven grinned, ¡°Ah, more time for error-checking. Excellent. Don¡¯t worry, Jerry here will be ready by the time Helen reports back.¡±


    Lord Valiant grinned, ¡°Oh Steven, that was never in doubt. Now, I¡¯ve got some unrelated matters to attend to.¡±


    Said unrelated matters turned out to be a certain Professor Arrence, chained to a wall in the castle¡¯s dungeon.


    ¡°Hello, professor. We need to have a bit of a talk about professional integrity.¡±


    Arrence panicked out, ¡°It¡¯s not my fault that Adrian fired me!¡±


    Lord Vallium scoffed, ¡°It most certainly was! But even if it weren¡¯t, I could have found something else useful to do with you if you¡¯d simply told me your employment there had ended!¡±


    He leaned in close, ¡°But you didn¡¯t do that, did you?¡±


    It wasn¡¯t a question. There was a pause for several moments, before Lord Vallium¡¯s cheer returned, ¡°Anyway, if you return the money I paid you for the last month and a half you go free. Otherwise I¡¯m going to have to do something unpleasant.¡±


    Arrence croaked in a defeated tone, ¡°Don¡¯t have it any more. Spent it.¡±


    Lord Vallium tsked, ¡°Oh how unfortunate. For you. Oh what to do with you? I could mutilate you and leave you out in public as an example. I could use you as coin for paying a certain someone. Maybe ship you to Xinjiang after wiping your memories.¡±


    Arrence remarked, ¡°I¡¯d much prefer the trip to Xinjiang.¡±


    A smile crossed Vallium¡¯s face, ¡°Thank you for narrowing down the possibilities! So¡­ public example or bargaining token. Which is it going to be, I wonder?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t really have a choice in this, do I?¡±


    Lord Vallium adopted a tone much like a deranged game show host.


    ¡°You are absolutely one hundred percent correct my friend!¡±


    Then he knocked Arrence out with a stunning spell, and went about the rest of his day.


    A few days passed, before Helen reported back.


    Lord Valiant greeted her in his office, ¡°Ah, good to see you again Helen. Do you have anything to report?¡±


    Helen nodded, ¡°I¡¯ve confirmed the presence of all three Archmages of interest at Red Point. Adrian Adley, Lawrence Demouls, and Geoffrey Blue are all on site. I also have a detailed map of the school¡¯s public areas; apparently the basement isn¡¯t part of the tour.¡±


    Lord Vallium hummed. Ah well, if Helen couldn¡¯t get a look at the basement she couldn¡¯t get a look at the basement and that was that.


    ¡°I presume your daughter is elsewhere?¡±


    Helen nodded, ¡°Yes. Adrian¡¯s really turned the school around, but I still think Granite Ridge is a better school for Sarah to attend.¡±


    ¡°Can I see the floor plan please?¡±


    Helen quickly fished the piece of paper from out of her pocket, ¡°Had to transcribe it from memory so there¡¯s probably some errors there, but it should be reasonably accurate.¡±


    ¡°Thank you Helen. You may go.¡±


    Right. Steven should have the go-between ready by now, and that was scouting done. Now all that needed to happen was contacting the vampire and arranging payment.


    The vampire in question was Richter Stahl. He was currently at his hunting lodge, and was somewhat bemused when an obviously enthralled man walked up to his residence.


    Richter licked his lips, ¡°Who do I have the pleasure of meeting tonight?¡±


    ¡°We wish to hire your services to kidnap someone.¡±


    Ah. Mercenary work, now that sounded rather interesting. ¡°Oh? Who is it you wish captured, and where can I find them?¡±


    ¡°We wish to capture an eight year old Archmage by the name of Geoffrey Blue. He is currently attending Red Point Magic Academy.¡±


    Hmmm. That didn¡¯t sound particularly hard. ¡°What¡¯s the catch?¡±


    The thrall answered, ¡°Lawrence Demouls is faculty at the school, as is another archmage by the name of Adrian Adley.¡±


    Lawrence Demouls. Lawrence Fucking Demouls. Still¡­ this could just maybe be manageable, with enough blood to spend. And the challenge would be very fun indeed.


    Richter paused to think for a moment, ¡°My price is fifty men or sixty women; men tend to have a bit more blood in them is all. No less. But provide them, and I will do it with only one question.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡±


    ¡°Where do I drop off the kid when I¡¯m done? Here is out of the question; I like this place and don¡¯t want it destroyed.¡±


    Clearly the thrall was ready for this, ¡°Ten miles due east of Red Point Magic Academy, there is a clearing in the forest. In said clearing there is a tree stump with a triangle cut into its top. We will be waiting there on the day of your attack.¡±


    Richter hummed, ¡°I¡¯ll want to take a look at that clearing first of course, so I know where it is. I suppose I will also take my payment there. Is there anything else of use I should know?¡±


    The thrall held out a piece of paper, ¡°We have a partial floor plan of the school. Still, it should cover all areas Geoffrey Blue is likely to be in.¡±


    The vampire collected the map from the thrall, ¡°Thank you, this will be most helpful. Now hurry along and collect my pay.¡±


    Back at Lord Vallium¡¯s castle, he noted, ¡°Very well then. Steven, I do believe this Richter fellow is exactly the sort we need for this job. Thank you for finding him.¡±


    The henchman preened under his master¡¯s attention, ¡°Only doing my job, my Lord. I¡¯ll get started on rounding up the vampire¡¯s pay, shall I?¡±


    ¡°Please do. And make sure to collect a few extras, so we can give him a tip if he does particularly well.¡±


    And so off Steven went, looking for isolated people to kidnap away. Finding them was relatively easy, out in the countryside.


    The tricky bit, Steven thought while ducking behind a tree for cover, was that many of them were armed and hyper-vigilant.


    ¡°Get back out here where I can blast you, ya fat weasel!¡±


    Case in point, this one had apparently been in the army scouts and kept in shape. That gun was nasty, and the wards on his clothes had already deflected just about everything Steven could do back. At the very least he didn¡¯t seem to have any transcendent combat skills.


    So, not being terribly keen on getting perforated, Steven came up with a plan. Namely he kicked up a lot of dust in the air to obscure his position and ran for his life.


    Kidnapping people currently indoors was also generally a non-starter. Rural families were very keen on magically hardening their homes, precisely because they wouldn¡¯t have time for help to arrive if attacked. Breaking into any of them would be utter suicide without a team backing you up and detailed knowledge of their particular ward structures.


    Still, over the course of a good three weeks Steven managed to capture seventy assorted adults from the countryside. Most had been going about their day outdoors when Steven surprise attacked them. With no-one else around, Steven was able to simply knock them unconscious and have them teleported back to Lord Valiant¡¯s castle.


    It wasn¡¯t until just after the first snowstorm of winter that everything was ready. The thrall and Richter met up in the clearing as planned, the full moon shining overhead. Just to the side, sixty men and women huddled in shivering horror.


    ¡°Richter, here is your payment, as requested.¡±


    The vampire looked to the crowd. ¡°Oh yes, yes this will do nicely. I sincerely thank you for this generous donation of blood.¡±


    And then he walked up to one of the bound and gagged victims, bit down, and drank her like a juice box. The rest started desperately flailing to escape their restraints when they saw this, but it was for naught. Richter Stahl was there, and he wasn¡¯t about to let his meal get away from him.


    One after another, the innocents Steven had rounded up were lifted off the ground, bitten wherever would be the most violating, sucked dry as the desert sands, and carelessly tossed aside. It took barely ten minutes for Richter to work his way through them all, then he was done.


    Then the corpses started to rise, as thralls of Richter¡¯s own.


    ¡°Ah, I haven¡¯t been this well-fed in a long long time. Now to get the job done, I believe?¡±


    ¡°We have an additional ten for you upon completion.¡±


    Richter smiled menacingly, ¡°Oh you¡¯re far too kind. Thank you.¡±


    And with that the vampire was off, his thralls in tow.


    Back at headquarters, Lord Vallium and Steven were waiting for Richter¡¯s return.


    Steven estimated, ¡°At the speed that vampire was going, with all his thralls in tow, he should be done with this in less than two hours. One way or another we¡¯ll know what happened on the mission soon enough.¡±


    ¡°Indeed. Could you get us some dinner while we wait, please?¡±


    And so the two waited. And waited. And waited some more.


    After about six hours of waiting, Steven finally admitted, ¡°It¡¯s been too long, I think something happened to Richter.¡±


    ¡°Keep the thrall ready to receive for at least a day, just in case. That said I¡¯m rapidly losing hope in this particular effort succeeding.¡±


    ¡°Understood, Lord Valiant.¡±


    The very next day, the newspaper that Lord Valiant was discretely subscribed to had a very intriguing headline: ¡°RED POINT MAGIC ACADEMY ATTACKED BY VAMPIRE! TWELVE DEAD AND THIRTY WOUNDED! HEADMASTER BLAMES LACK OF FUNDING FOR SECURITY UPGRADES!¡±


    The would be archmage stared down at the page in fury. Richter had failed. His plan had failed. He would not have Geoffrey Blue to interrogate over the secret.


    ¡°Steven? Did that vampire oversell his abilities by any chance?¡±


    Steven shook his head, ¡°No, sir. He¡¯d killed archmages before. Even raided a military outpost once. I don¡¯t think he scammed us, or underestimated the people there.¡±


    Lord Vallium leveled a distinctly unimpressed glare at his minion, ¡°Then why did he fail in such dramatic fashion, then?¡±


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t say sir, something unforeseen must have happened.¡±


    Ideas already whirling in that evil little mind of his, Lord Vallium was already concocting his next move. He¡¯d have Geoffrey Blue, oh he¡¯d have that child archmage alright.


    ¡°Very well. Clearly what we did was an inadequate effort. We will need to gather more information, amass more resources, probably hire more mercenaries.¡±


    Steven nodded, ¡°And then?¡±


    Lord Vallium steepled his gloved fingers together ¡°And then we simply try again. Geoffrey Blue will be mine. I <u>will</u> extract the secret from his childlike mind. I WILL become an archmage. And nothing on or off this earth is going to stop me.¡±


    Steven had seen Lord Vallium get like this plenty of times before, so he knew exactly what to say at times like this. ¡°Yes, my Lord.¡±

 A Vampire on Campus

    I was enjoying some hot chocolate out in the snow when I noticed it. There was a rustling in the woods, and it was getting closer to the school. I took a closer look. Fifty to sixty people sprinting our way¡­ lead by a man rippling with the dark red power of a well-fed vampire. Wait, those weren¡¯t people, not any more. They were thralls.


    I grabbed my walkie-talkie as I sprinted to get inside, my other side flaring Authority as we spoke. Everyone would hear this, even if they didn¡¯t have a receiver of their own.


    ¡°ATTENTION! The school is under attack by a vampire! I repeat, the school is under attack by a vampire! All non-combatants to the courtyard, all combat-capable personnel prepare to repel the attackers.¡±


    The instant I was inside I slammed the door shut. Then I made the most emphatic force field sign I¡¯d ever done, even as my other side reinforced it: this vampire Was Not Authorized To Enter. A dome of shimmering, impenetrable energy flared into life over the school. Good, I¡¯d bought some time at least, but the instant I let down my hands the force field would collapse.


    That¡¯s when I noticed Reese Tonsa, instructor for the Combat Applications Workshop.


    ¡°Reese?¡±


    ¡°Yes Headmaster?¡±


    ¡°How much can you do to prepare in about a minute?¡±


    ¡°Quite a bit. Need to get to the courtyard to start preparing it though.¡±


    Professor Demouls was also present, noting, ¡°I will gladly assist in the defense.¡±


    Suddenly, he had always been holding a sword. After all, if he said he had a sword, who was reality to disagree?


    I noted, ¡°Can¡¯t hold this much longer, my hands are starting to cramp up from this pose.¡±


    Demouls nodded, ¡°Get yourself to safety, Headmaster. We can take it from here.¡±


    I let my arms fall, and the barrier fell with it. Immediately the door was blasted open and we were flooded with vampiric thralls.


    Then reality split in twain as Demouls¡¯ blade snapped out, an arc of shattered spacetime ripping through the crowd.


    The thralls that had just been cut faded. Shit, this vampire was an illusionist!


    Demouls nodded, slashed open spacetime again, and suddenly we were on the roof. From here we could see what was going on a lot better. Reese had evidently covered over the courtyard with a painted steel dome. And the school was surrounded by thralls now, most of them phantoms called up by the vampire¡¯s power. There were also several fake vampires all heading for various doors.


    I donned my Mancia glasses, and instantly the position of the real vampire was revealed directly below us, his power clearly visible even through three floors of school.


    I pointed, ¡°There! The real vampire is right below us! On the second floor!¡±


    Demouls teleported us again, and the vampire whirled in shock as we appeared behind him. A blast of lightning from Jethro¡¯s very big gun was simply ignored in favor of the more dangerous opponent, as Demouls and the vampire went at it.


    Shredded spacetime and deadly blood rays filled the hallway as the two hyper-lethal adversaries went at it. Both of them were moving so fast I could hardly track them, but Demouls was being forced back step by step, even as several people opened fire on the vampire.


    How many people did that vampire drain before coming here!? This wasn¡¯t how vampires normally performed!


    I threw open a door to the courtyard, and found Reese in the middle of several painted soldiers in futuristic power armor. And she was busily painting more.


    ¡°Will the soldiers accept my orders?¡±


    Reese nodded, ¡°Yes they will!¡±


    I grinned. ¡°Right. Troops, move out. The vampire is in the north corridor on the second floor!¡±


    Right as I said that, there was an explosion from the direction of the alchemy labs. Oh no.


    Suddenly, thralls started pouring into the courtyard. The trio of security personnel here opened up with blasts of fire and lightning from their Flux wands, but it was clear they needed some help.


    Fine then. Gather power in the hand, have my other side reinforce it with the Authority to protect this school, and throw the most powerful blast of ice I¡¯d ever done.


    Instantly the thralls froze in their tracks, shattered, and faded. More phantoms, but deadly nonetheless.


    Right, we have a little bit of breathing room. Take a moment to track the vampire¡¯s power¡­ and it¡¯s on the first floor now, with Demouls still locked in combat with it. What could it even be here for?


    Then it hit me, Geoffrey. Of course it would be Geoffrey. Wait a moment¡­ the two of them might actually be able to salvage this situation.


    I found the eight year old archmage in question huddled under the courtyard¡¯s central tree.


    ¡°Geoffrey, I know things are scary, but there¡¯s something I need you to do for me. You don¡¯t have to fight the vampire, but you can make it so he can¡¯t get in here.¡±


    They looked up, ¡°I¡¯ll try, but I need materials.¡±


    That¡¯s when Reese interjected by swinging her paintbrush across empty air, suddenly bringing a massive supply of bricks and mortar into existence. ¡°Will these do?¡±


    Geoffrey nodded, and got to work. Bricks flew through the air and slotted themselves into place around the courtyard in a dazzling display of telekinetic construction, and I felt Xiu¡¯s transcendent Sharp power locking them into indestructibility. In less than a second the possibility of the vampire getting into the courtyard was completely closed off.


    Right. That was handled. Now I needed to get back to defending the school; even if the students were safe things could very easily take a turn for the worse. It took a great deal of exertion, but I opened a door in solid air and suddenly I was just down the hall from both Professor Demouls and the vampire. And Demouls was starting to tire, keeping up with this undead monstrosity clearly taking a toll on him.


    On the vampire¡¯s part, he was still rippling with power. The amount he had left was by definition finite, but he didn¡¯t seem to be slowing down at all.


    Right, I needed to intervene. Let¡¯s chill the playing field a bit, shall we? Flux sign for ice, Mancia sign to curve the shot around Demouls, and my other side¡¯s transcendent Authority for sheer, unrelenting power.


    The whole corridor chilled to the temperature of the winter outside as my shot flew down the hallway. Then I heard a loud crack and the vampire was suddenly gone. No¡­ not gone. Supersonic.


    I whirled around and got a force field up just in time to intercept the vampire before it could bite my head off, a loud SLAM resonating through the corridor as the supersonic vampire impacted. There was a splatter like a bug on a windshield, then suddenly the vamp was whole again, and still trying to kill everyone here.


    That¡¯s when Demouls spoke up, ¡°He¡¯s spending that massive blood supply to instantly heal. I¡¯ve bisected him several times but he just keeps coming.¡±


    Right. Second force field behind said vampire, and squeeze. He¡¯s using blood to keep going? Then lets juice it all out of him.


    Unfortunately for me, that vampire realized exactly what I was about to do. Before I could close the bubble, he slammed up through the ceiling to the floor above.


    ¡°Follow me.¡± then Demouls opened up another portal. I followed, and got a front row seat to the vampire draining Lucy dry and throwing her corpse aside.


    Demouls wasn¡¯t idle, and I noticed his sword flaring with Mancia as he swung.


    For a brief moment everything paused. The vampire looked around confused, ¡°What am I doing in a school?¡±


    Oh. Demouls had cut away the vampire¡¯s memory of why he was sent here.


    Of course it didn¡¯t help, as the very next thing the vampire said was, ¡°Ah who cares why I¡¯m here! Killing you all is going to be fun!¡± and immediately leapt back into combat.


    Demouls¡¯ next slice went clear down the vampire¡¯s middle, and for only a fraction of a second I could see the monster¡¯s insides before he sealed himself back up.


    Fine, time for another ice bomb. I cast, and the vampire dodged back again at supersonic speeds. I turned to intercept again¡­ only to hear a sickening crack from behind me as Demouls was punched down the corridor. I forced open a door in the air to wherever Anne was, and saw a brief glimpse of the courtyard as Demouls¡¯ unconscious form sailed through.


    I turned back to the vampire as fast as I could, throwing up a force field just in time to avoid being grabbed. I was alone with the vampire, and all this magical exertion was starting to run me dry. Shit.


    There was only one chance at getting out of this alive now, and I was going to take it. Blast a hole in the floor, run through the second floor corridor. Block another supersonic charge. Right turn. Run down the corridor, pass Slate¡¯s office. Open the door, force a dodge with an ice blast, go through, close it.


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    I was now in my office, the height of my power. And that vampire did not have an appointment.


    There was a crash as the door was kicked in¡­ but strangely, no vampire. The phantoms faded, even as one of the apparently physical thralls fell over.


    It had worked, but I wasn¡¯t quite out of the danger zone yet. I needed to finish this. First thing first, radio, ¡°All surviving security and Hazmag personnel to the accounting office! I repeat, all surviving security and Hazmag personnel to the accounting office!¡±


    Then I ran through the corridors, down the stairs to the basement, and to the door of the accounting office. I threw it open with telekinesis, and saw. The vampire was still writhing, fighting the Budget¡¯s mental assimilation with every scrap of its strength. But now it couldn¡¯t evade.


    ¡°Misters Adley, HELP!¡±


    This time my ice blast hit home with no dodging. And the second, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth. In seconds I¡¯d frozen the vampire solid. At exactly that time, the Hazmag team arrived, all suited up for operation in the Budget¡¯s zone of influence.


    I took a breath of relief. ¡°Budget, thank you. Hazmag team, remove that frozen vampire. Break it into pieces. Incinerate the pieces one at a time while keeping the rest of them frozen. Keep the ashes safe in separate piles until the NMCU gets here.¡±


    Then my other side cut in ¡°This is an order.¡± with all the Authority we could still muster up.


    The team of suited custodial workers saluted ¡°Yes Headmaster!¡± and immediately got to work on disposing of the monster that had been attacking the school.


    Then I finally let the exhaustion hit me. I barely had the energy to radio ¡°Vampire dead, unseal the courtyard.¡± before crumpling up on the floor and falling asleep on the spot.


    I woke up in one of the infirmary beds. Evidently someone had carried me here. In the background I noticed Anne asleep in a chair, and Jethro looking down at me from a standing position.


    I tried to ask where Demouls was, but all that came out was incoherent gurgling. I tried again and managed, ¡°Whe Dmol?¡±


    Jethro blinked, ¡°Ah, you¡¯re finally awake. The good news is the vampire¡¯s well and truly dead. The NMCU took them away for proper disposal. The bad news is¡­ we lost a lot of people during the attack.¡±


    I nodded. ¡°How many dead?¡±


    ¡°Twelve. And it could have been a lot more if Anne weren¡¯t here. A lot of people are still missing bits and simply being kept stable until Anne can patch them up the rest of the way.¡±


    ¡°Did Demouls live?¡±


    Jethro nodded ¡°Yes, but his spine¡¯s in about four different pieces and he¡¯s still severely concussed. Only reason he survived is because Anne got to him within seconds of the initial injury.¡±


    Ah¡­ It had worked, then.


    ¡°Students?¡±


    ¡°They all survived thankfully. Every last one of them sat out the fighting in the courtyard.¡±


    Then another horrible possibility occurred to me. ¡°The press? Are they here yet?¡±


    ¡°Thankfully no, but only because the National Magical Crimes Unit currently has the place locked down tight. The instant law enforcement leaves, this place is going to be swarming with reporters.¡±


    I tried to sit up, but my legs simply wouldn¡¯t move.


    Perhaps seeing my expression of panic, Jethro said ¡°Ah. According to Anne you¡¯re suffering from severe magical over-exertion, probably from all the teleportation you were doing. Since it wasn¡¯t life threatening she left you to rest and got on with other patients. That said you need to eat a lot more than normal for the next week to make up the energy debt.¡±


    Oh¡­ That made sense.


    ¡°Anyway the cafeteria¡¯s still a disaster area, so they won¡¯t be able to do much until they get new cooking equipment shipped in. So it¡¯s pre-packaged sandwiches until then.¡±


    I grimaced.


    The rest of the day passed uneventfully. In the afternoon the NMCU came by to ask me for a statement about what happened, and I told them everything I remembered about the attack. Then they told me what happened to the vampire ashes.


    ¡°So. We¡¯ve got a bit of good news there. Your instructions to the hazmag team meant we had absolutely no trouble permanently dispersing the vampire¡¯s ashes. Several aircraft are sprinkling it over the ocean as mono-atomic dust as we speak. Getting all of it back together again will be factually impossible.¡±


    I¡¯d recovered enough to sit up by this point at least. ¡°So. Any idea who hired that vampire? If it had much more power than it did... the sun would have seen it through the earth and tried to bank a shot off the moon.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t being hyperbolic; the sun actively targeted vampires for elimination. Fifteen minutes of light lag after the vampire got into a position the sun could detect, then the sunbeam hit. There was even a recorded case of an entire hill being reduced to a crater after a vampire ran down a mine shaft.


    The officer answered, ¡°No, sadly. We managed to identify all the victims who were drained to power him up at least, but there weren¡¯t any leads on who kidnapped them.¡±


    I blinked, ¡°Well that sucks. Anything else I should know about?¡±


    ¡°Two things. First off, the press is going to be here in force the instant we clear out. You should probably start preparing your response ahead of time. Second, a team of four officers from the National Magical Crimes Unit is being assigned to the school for the foreseeable future. They¡¯ll be working alongside your existing security team.¡±


    Ah.


    The next day I was at least able to stand up and walk around, though Anne made very clear that I was absolutely forbidden from doing any magic at all for at least a week. The National Magical Crimes Unit was still poking around the school, but it was pretty clear they¡¯d be leaving soon. Well, aside from the squad who were being assigned here long-term.


    As I ate one of the unappetizing pre-packaged sandwiches the cafeteria had been reduced to, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise like someone was walking behind me. But when I turned to look, there was no-one there.


    Jethro noticed this, of course. ¡°It¡¯s alright, Adrian. I¡¯ve been jumping at shadows since the attack too. If I had to put a word on it the school feels¡­ haunted. So many good friends dead...¡±


    I thought about the idea for a moment. I had encountered a few ghosts during my time as an insurance investigator. The circumstances where they could emerge were fairly specific and required that the person in question be an unrealized Sharp at the moment of death. Plausible, but we wouldn¡¯t be able to say for sure for quite a while.


    ¡°It¡¯s plausible, Jethro. Still, best not to get your hopes up.¡±


    Another tingle¡­


    Jethro nodded, ¡°I understand. So¡­ how are you going to handle the press when they show up in force tomorrow?¡±


    I grimaced. ¡°It sickens me to even think about it, but I¡¯m going to use this crisis as leverage for additional funding. Almost all the damage and death could have been avoided if I¡¯d been able to install the security upgrades I wanted, and the only reason I couldn¡¯t was because my request for additional funding was denied.¡±


    ¡°I understand. I won¡¯t judge you for it. Just promise me you won¡¯t let something like this happen again.¡±


    ¡°If I get my way, no-one¡¯s going to be able to attack this school again.¡±


    <hr>


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 Pressed by the Press

    The next day, I was waiting in the morning at the school¡¯s train station. It was expected to be a lot busier than normal today. Not only did we need all manner of repair materials and replacement equipment shipped in, but there would be an entire additional passenger train for the reporters.


    Given that the ten miles of branch line connecting the school to the main trunk only had one track, I figured it would be prudent to keep a close eye on the scheduling to ensure there couldn¡¯t be any collisions. Also I wanted to make damn sure the new kitchen equipment was unloaded without even the slightest issues. Everyone was thoroughly sick of pre-packaged sandwiches after only a few days, and if it went on much longer there would be riots.


    I might even join them, come to think of it.


    Musings about the long awaited return to decent food aside, there was also the matter of the press. I absolutely did not want to deal with them, but the fact of the matter was that public pressure was my best shot at getting the security upgrades funded. And for that to work, I needed to suck it up and talk to the press.


    I could have sworn I felt a comforting pat on the shoulder, despite there not being anyone there at the moment. Gee thanks, maybe-ghost maybe-hallucination. Unloading the kitchen equipment went smoothly at least, meaning that there should be a proper supper tonight.


    Then I spotted the dreaded press train approaching. Three passenger coaches, rather than the usual one coach and two box cars. Oh this was going to be thoroughly un-enjoyable.


    So I waited at the platform for two agonizing minutes. The train slowed to a stop, the doors opened, and the reporters began to flood onto the platform.


    Ugh, lets get this over with.


    I was already waiting at an improvised podium. Staring out at the crowd of reporters and camera crews, I asked, ¡°So, presumably you¡¯re all here for my statement about the vampire attack.¡±


    There was a general chorus of approval from the bunch.


    ¡°Right, please wait until the end for questions.¡±


    I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts.


    ¡°First off, I want to be clear that the worst of this could have been prevented. I¡¯d suspected the school would be attacked a good two months before this, and requested additional funding to upgrade the security system. This request for additional funding was denied on grounds of it being ¡®unnecessary¡¯, and we¡¯ve all seen how that turned out.¡±


    All the assorted journalists were staring at me with rapt attention.


    ¡°As it stands, we were very very close to the school being leveled and its population slaughtered. That was an abnormally well-fed vampire; it was breaking the sound barrier regularly and holding its own against multiple archmages.¡±


    I leveled an incredibly serious gaze on the crowd. ¡°Someone deliberately sought out that vampire, fed it a whole lot of people, and set it on the school. Though we managed to avoid any fatalities among the student body, twelve of my staff are dead. I have every expectation that whoever set this up is going to try again.¡±


    ¡°Before any of you ask, yes I do blame the Department of Education for this tragedy. I had good reason to suspect an attack would take place, and tried to take appropriate precautions. Instead my efforts were stymied by the penny pinchers over at the DoE.¡±


    ¡°You may now ask questions.¡±


    A lady in a beanie hat asked, ¡°How did you ultimately kill the vampire?¡±


    ¡°I baited the vampire into a dangerous magical anomaly in a staff only area. Then I froze it solid and had the school¡¯s Hazardous Magic team dispose of it. This plan was an act of desperation; if I were half a second slower I would be dead and the vampire would still be at large.¡±


    Another reporter asked, ¡°Is this school really a safe environment for the students? Parents of magical children would like to know.¡±


    Reasonable question, but the fully accurate answer wouldn¡¯t play well with the crowd. ¡°Red Point Magic Academy is as safe as any other school for underage magic users. Unfortunately, this is an insufficient degree of safety; kids aren¡¯t really prepared to work with something as dangerous as magic, so incidents and accidental deaths happen quite regularly.¡±


    Very carefully do not mention that this school is being specifically targeted by Lord Vallium, nor the existence of Geoffrey Blue.


    Unfortunately for me, one of the reporters asked an actually smart question, ¡°Why did you suspect that the school would be attacked two months before it happened?¡±


    Oh I really didn¡¯t want to answer this one¡­ But the worst possible person already knows and I need the leverage.


    ¡°Because that¡¯s when an underage archmage was enrolled here. For their privacy, I will not be divulging their identity.¡±


    A nearly visible wave of shock fizzled through the crowd of reporters. I¡¯d just admitted that the school was being singled out for attack by a magical terrorist.


    ¡°How would the upgraded security system have prevented this tragedy?¡±


    I answered immediately, ¡°Immobilization fields, Sharp teleportation systems to keep staff and students away from danger, extremely comprehensive threshold wards, airspace denial for the courtyard, and a lot of structural reinforcement for the actual building. If all of that were in place the vampire would have been hard-pressed to even enter, let alone hurt anyone. I still want to install that security system, and given the funding I could have it done in about a month or two. It would also dramatically reduce the hazard from random incidents.¡±


    ¡°How would you handle another attack without this system?¡±


    I could answer that one easily, ¡°Badly, and with a high risk of total disaster. If it weren¡¯t for having a transcendent doctor here, we¡¯d have easily had over thirty dead instead of just twelve. All in all, things could have very easily been so much worse.¡±


    I got out the list of deceased staff members.


    ¡°Lucy Thorncroft, secretary, drained by the vampire before my eyes.¡±


    ¡°Gina Haskell, Math teacher, killed by a thrall.¡±


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    ¡°Umber Holt, security, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Harrison Olger, security, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Yuba Dean, security, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Hexie Tarris, security, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Beth Quartz, security, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Randy Woods, security, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Udo Rex, security, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Jenny Miller, custodian, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°John Black, custodian, killed in combat.¡±


    ¡°Harvey Miller, custodian, killed in combat.¡±


    If I¡¯d bothered putting any real power behind it, my glare would be lethal.


    ¡°Considering the circumstances we are incredibly lucky that this list isn¡¯t any longer. As it stands we lost far too many good people, and could have very easily lost far more. I have every expectation that another attack of similar severity is coming, and if we aren¡¯t prepared for it things could very easily go even worse than they did this time.¡±


    ¡°If the security upgrades aren¡¯t approved, and I live through the next attack? I¡¯m dragging whatever bureaucrat denied the funding here and forcing him to mop up the blood and guts himself.¡±


    I meant it too, and I was fairly certain the reporters could tell that.


    There were another couple hours of talking to the press, but I¡¯d already gotten the meat of what I wanted to say out of the way. Gradually they started packing up their cameras, then they all got on their press train and headed back to Skanaport. Good, that meant the freight trains full of repair materials could resume.


    As I packed up the podium, I felt another phantom tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Jethro coming my way, though he was still too far off to have done it. No, not even with telekinesis; I knew for a fact he was Sharp, and it wasn¡¯t certain if he¡¯d transcended any skills to speak of.


    So I asked, ¡°Jethro? What¡¯s the issue you need to talk to me about?¡±


    Jethro answered, ¡°It¡¯s one of the students. She¡¯s had a mental break and none of us can calm her down. And you¡¯re the only remotely qualified person here that¡¯s not in the infirmary still.¡±


    Oh. I immediately dashed along behind Jethro, as he brought me to the classroom in question. I noticed the hallways shaking as we approached, which definitely wasn¡¯t a good sign. Sure enough, there was a teenage girl sitting in the corner, crying so hard it was risking the school¡¯s structural integrity.


    Oh I really didn¡¯t want to do this¡­ I quickly scribed a Mancia spell to reduce emotional intensity and set it off in her face.


    The room stopped shaking, and the student looked at me for a moment. There were still tears running down her face, but at the very least she wasn¡¯t a hazard to be around anymore.


    ¡°Headmaster? W-Where¡¯s mom?¡±


    It¡¯s then that my other side finished his mental review of the school¡¯s student records. This was Melanie Quartz, daughter of one of the security guards who died in the attack. Oh.


    I answered ¡°Melanie, there¡¯s no good way to say this, but your mother is dead. She died in the vampire attack.¡±


    Oh. Oh I¡¯m being hugged by a sobbing teenager now how am I supposed to deal with this¡­


    Right, did we have any on-site therapists on the payroll? A quick review of the staff list said yes, but they were still in the infirmary.


    Anyway, that¡¯s why I spent the rest of the day being used as a giant self-propelled teddy bear by Melanie. Yes, even when I went to my office to get my next request for a funding increase ready, and start hiring to replace the deceased personnel.


    Still, I got that funding request in. And I got a reply the same day.


    Once again it wasn¡¯t the reply I wanted, but at least it wasn¡¯t an outright rejection. No, instead it was a summons to the Department of Education for a meeting with Director Haggar.


    The very next day, I was at that appointment exactly on time. An absolutely huge man in a pinstripe suit stared down at me.


    ¡°Adrian. I¡¯ve found myself in quite a difficult position, thanks to you.¡±


    Then he threw several newspaper articles onto the desk. All of them of my impromptu press-conference.


    ¡°So. You want to upgrade your school¡¯s security system then? Considering what happened I can¡¯t even blame you for it. But the fact of the matter is that the Department of Education cannot afford it without cutting into the budgets of every other magical school in the country. This would seriously impact their ability to operate, which is a significant public safety issue.¡±


    He glared at me, ¡°So. How exactly am I supposed to make this work without severely disrupting the entire underage magical education system? The non-magical schools will be fine; they¡¯re handled by a different branch of the department.¡±


    I got out some of the financial planning the Budget had done a couple months ago. ¡°Well, one option is to take out a loan. We¡¯ve calculated that we could run the school in a sustainable though sub-optimal manner with a budget 5% lower. Take out a mortgage to cover the cost right away, then pay it down over the next few years. It¡¯s just that I¡¯m not authorized to take out loans on the school¡¯s behalf is all.¡±


    Director Haggar sighed, ¡°That¡¯s what I was afraid you¡¯d say. It¡¯s going to be damned hard finding a loan with a suitably low interest rate, the requirements the Department operates under for taking out a loan are incredibly strict.¡±


    Did he¡­ not want to do this? Hmm. We may need to probe a bit deeper.


    ¡°Can I see those requirements please?¡±


    I had Director Haggar by the balls and he knew it. Reluctantly, he passed me the documentation for the department¡¯s limitations on taking on debt.


    A quick read-through revealed that while the requirements were strict, they were also nowhere near as restrictive as Director Haggar was making them out to be. A good 80% of mortgages from a reputable bank or credit union fit the criteria.


    I looked up, my face in a stoic expression. Transcendent Authority flared as we spoke. Just in case, I also activated the audio recorder I had in my pocket.


    ¡°Director Haggar, I¡¯m going to ask you directly and I want you to be honest. Do you believe in the cause of Lord Valiant the Dreaded?¡±


    Before he realized what was happening, he answered ¡°Why yes I do actually. Wait no I mean no-¡±


    I got up.


    ¡°I see.¡±


    And opened the door of his office directly to lobby of the National Magical Crimes Unit.


    Soon after that, Director Haggar was interrogated and subsequently arrested for associating with a known terrorist. His replacement proved much more amenable to the security upgrades for Red Point, though funding them would still require taking out a loan.


    That was fine with me; the school needed to be protected from whatever Vallium¡¯s next plot was, and a 5% budget cut for the next few years was an easy price to pay for that.


    I returned to Red Point Magic Academy triumphant in my attempt to get the funding for the security system, though explaining the pay cuts to everyone was rather harder. Out of solidarity I cut my own pay too, which did a lot to quell the staff¡¯s objections.


    We could start with the security system installation in four days, as soon as everyone was out of the infirmary.


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 Hiring and the Dead

    While the vampire was dead and the funding for the security system had been secured, the fact of the matter was the school was now missing several crucial staff members. Lucy had been one of only two secretaries for the entire school, we needed a mathematics teacher to replace Gina, and we needed a total of ten replacement people for the security and custodial departments.


    And that meant I needed to conduct interviews. For the security personnel I could just go through the same hiring agencies I¡¯d used before, same for custodians and a replacement secretary. But for a math teacher I would need to evaluate candidates personally; that was an uncommon skillset, and those willing to work in a school like this were even fewer in number. I would have few choices about who to hire, and it was crucial I made the correct decision.


    So I put out a request for math teacher candidates through the education department. There were four applicants for the position, and they all agreed to come in Monday.


    The morning of, I was sitting across from Jethro in the cafeteria as I usually did. I was thoroughly enjoying some good real waffles after far too many pre-made sandwiches.


    As for Jethro... he was still looking incredibly glum, and I couldn¡¯t really blame him for it. Some of his best friends and co-workers had just died, after all. Telling him to cheer up wouldn¡¯t really help at all, so I kept eating.


    After a while, I did have something to say about it. ¡°I know it¡¯s hard to handle this sort of thing. If you want to talk about it, I¡¯m here.¡±


    ¡°Thanks for the offer Adrian, but I¡¯m just not in the mood for it right now. Maybe later. I really hope your interviews go well.¡±


    Jethro got up, and wandered away. He left about half of his breakfast behind. Oh.


    The rest of breakfast passed in a rather dour mood. I ate my food, and brought Jethro¡¯s tray up to the tray return for him. After about two hours of routine paperwork I figured the candidates would be arriving any minute now, so I wandered down to the train station to greet them.


    Sure enough, there was that reliable small locomotive whirring along towards the school. A couple minutes later it slowed to a stop at the platform, and the four people I would be interviewing stepped out of the passenger carriage.


    Three men, one woman. All of them had dressed up in sensible, professional clothing which I thoroughly approved of. They also all had some sort of bag or container for reference materials, which I considered a very good sign.


    I greeted them. ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Adrian, the headmaster of this school. I take it you¡¯re all interested in the math teacher position?¡±


    As one they agreed, and I lead them in.


    The first interview was with one of the men, Roose Bolton. As he entered my office I asked ¡°So, Roose. Which subjects of math are you qualified to teach?¡±


    Roose smiled, ¡°Quite a lot of them. I¡¯ve published proofs for several important theorems in number theory, statistics, and topology. As for calculus I find doing it quite easy, and can demonstrate if you¡¯d like.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Right. If I knew no calculus whatsoever, how would you teach differentiation and integration?¡±


    ¡°Do you have a chalkboard or whiteboard available?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Sure, I can get a whiteboard in here without much hassle.¡±


    A few minutes later a whiteboard was present, and it was time for Roose¡¯s demonstration.


    Almost immediately I could tell he was having the same problem I¡¯d had when I tried teaching Mancia. He was blazing through demonstration equations one after another, writing up explanations for how they worked in excruciating detail, and moving on to the next one before I had any time to process what he was actually showing me.


    ¡°Roose, could you go a bit slower please? We have several hours for interviews and I¡¯m having a hard time following what you¡¯re doing.¡±


    Roose blinked, ¡°Oops. Sorry Mr. Adley.¡± and obligingly slowed down. The issue is that he still kept going into way more excruciating detail than was actually necessary. That would make things way harder than they needed to be for a student learning this stuff for the first time.


    No, Roose probably wouldn¡¯t be getting the job. He was an excellent mathematician and a seemingly reasonable person, but that didn¡¯t translate into being a good teacher.


    Next up was the only female candidate, a brunette by the name of Jenny Wools.


    ¡°So, Jenny? What subjects can you teach?¡±


    Jenny opened up her briefcase to retrieve her certifications. ¡°I¡¯m officially licensed to teach arithmetic, geometry, algebra, trigonometry, and calculus. I overheard what happened while you were interviewing Roose, and I can assure you I won¡¯t have that same problem.¡±


    I hummed. ¡°Very well then. Demonstrate.¡±


    Demonstrate Jenny did. She displayed a decent level of competence in all areas of mathematics she was certified for, though she had to take her time. But by the same note she had very clear, practical explanations of exactly how everything worked and how to do it.


    Jenny was clearly a generalist, able to handle a wide variety of mathematical fields to a reasonable degree of competence. Where she really excelled was in teaching, and making sure her students actually understood what was going on.


    A pretty good candidate, but there were still two more to go.


    The third candidate was another man, by the name of Vladimir. His qualifications were only for arithmetic, geometry, and algebra. The real issue there is that he had too much overlap with our surviving math teacher, who also mostly taught arithmetic and geometry, with the occasional trigonometry class. If I hired Vlad, the students¡¯ proficiency with more advanced mathematics would suffer significantly.


    So even though Vladimir was quite competent at the subjects he could teach, he just wasn¡¯t a good fit for the school at the moment. Even with being quite good at the actual teaching part of the job.


    The fourth and final candidate was named Tim Rust. He entered, and as usual the first question I asked was, ¡°So. What subjects are you qualified to teach?¡±


    Tim got out his list of teaching certifications, while also saying, ¡°I¡¯m qualified for algebra, trigonometry, statistics, and calculus. Will admit that my arithmetic skills have suffered a bit from disuse though.¡±


    I read through the list, and Tim indeed had certification for all the subjects he¡¯d mentioned. Now the big question was simple: could he actually teach the stuff he knew?


    ¡°Mr. Rust, could you please demonstrate?¡±


    He nodded, ¡°Certainly, Mr. Adley.¡± and got to work on the whiteboard. Over the next forty minutes or so I couldn¡¯t help but compare Mr. Rust to Jenny. Mr. Rust was clearly competent at actually teaching, while Jenny was excellent at it. When it came to their actual mathematical proficiency, the situation was reversed; Jenny was competent, Tim was excellent.


    At the end of the demonstration, I thanked Tim and got to thinking about who to hire. I ruled out Roose immediately; he was great at math but the man just couldn¡¯t teach. I also ruled out Vladimir in short order; he could teach, but his coverage of subjects was lacking.


    And so I was left with the honestly quite difficult task of choosing between Jenny Wools and Tim Rust. If I had the budget for it I¡¯d hire both of them, but the fact of the matter is that I didn¡¯t. Both of them could cover the higher level mathematical subjects, with the main trade-off being between teaching ability and mathematical proficiency.


    If I picked Jenny, I¡¯d have a teacher who could cover Algebra and Calculus with reasonable mathematical proficiency, but excellent teaching ability. She¡¯d also be able to cover for Sarah if something happened to her.


    If I picked Tim, I¡¯d have someone exceedingly proficient with Algebra, Calculus, and Statistics. Someone who could teach all of those subjects with a reasonable degree of competence. But there wouldn¡¯t be any fault tolerance; if something happened to either math teacher subjects would go untaught, until we got someone else in.


    I spent at least an hour agonizing over which of the two to hire, and arguing with myself at every turn. At the end, the deciding factor was pretty simple. Tim could teach a subject Jenny couldn¡¯t, and statistics was important.


    Now it was a matter of breaking the news to the three who didn¡¯t get the job. Checking the clock they were probably in the cafeteria at the moment, so that¡¯s where I would go too. I was also pretty hungry myself, come to think of it.


    Sure enough, the four of them were all sitting down with lunch together. I walked over.


    It was Vladimir who noticed me first.


    ¡°Ah, Mr. Adley. Here to tell us who got the job, I suppose?¡±


    I nodded. Right, let¡¯s get this over and done with.


    ¡°I¡¯m hiring Tim Rust as math teacher. I hope you all understand.¡±


    Jenny took it pretty well, actually. ¡°Eh, figured. I¡¯ve got five more interviews lined up this week. Most of them at non-magical schools, though the pay won¡¯t be as good there.¡±


    Vladimir had a similar response to Jenny, drily noting that he also had several more positions he¡¯d applied to.


    But Roose¡­


    ¡°WHAT! This is an outrage! I am the finest mathematician here, how come I didn¡¯t get the position!?¡±


    I glared at him, ¡°You may be good at math, but you just can¡¯t teach. I¡¯d advise sticking to research and professional contexts.¡±


    The staring contest continued for a good thirty seconds before I tired of it. My other side flared Authority slightly as we spoke, ¡°Roose, you are not getting the job. That is final.¡±


    That finally got him to sit back down. Crisis averted, I got in the line for lunch. A few minutes later with food tray in hand I made my way to a table. On the way I happened to catch the briefest glimpse of what looked like Lucy trying to comfort Jethro, even as he sobbed into his food. Right, my friend needs me.


    Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    When I got there, it was pretty clear Mr. Slate had much the same idea. He was sitting right next to Jethro, and had one of his hands on the head custodian¡¯s shoulder. I sat across from the both of them. Slate shook his head. Ah. Apparently I should stay out of this one.


    So I ate my lunch in silence. I dearly wanted to help Jethro through this, but there wasn¡¯t much I could do in that department. He¡¯d lost several friends recently, and that loss was hurting him badly.


    After about forty minutes, I could have sworn I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw another glimpse of Lucy. Right, let¡¯s get to the bottom of this. I dug out my Mancia glasses from their pocket, and set them to energy inspector mode.


    Sure enough, right in the middle of the cafeteria was a tangle of mangled reality and sheer defiance. One of a type I¡¯d seen several times during my career as an insurance investigator. We had a ghost at the school. A pretty new one too, given how coherent they were; ghosts decayed to nothing in about six months if not actively maintained.


    Right, think think think, what was official ghost-handling protocol? Ah yes, identify, interview, reform.


    That¡¯s when the ghost started moving, leaving the cafeteria and heading for the corridor. Ah, if that¡¯s Lucy then she¡¯s probably headed for my office. Either way this is the sort of interview that should take place in a private location.


    So I got up from my chair and followed. If this was someone who¡¯d died in the attack, then just maybe we wouldn¡¯t have lost everyone we thought we did.


    I followed the ghost all the way to my office. According to my glasses they had hovered to a stop just in front of the desk. I took the cue to sit down across, and got out a piece of paper. We had an authorization to write.


    As it was being written, I noted ¡°Now, I could go through all the trouble of pumping energy into you and facilitating conversation that way. But I think it would be much simpler to simply tell reality¡¯s pesky little rules to make an exception. Touch the document here to sign.¡±


    As for what the two of me had written?


    I hereby authorize the deceased to appear and speak as they did in life at no energy cost, so long as they remain within my office.


    -Adrian Adley


    Signature of Deceased: ___________________


    I saw the tangle of defiance reach for the line, and the text filled itself in.


    Signature of Deceased: Lucy Thorncroft


    Then reality began to shudder. What was happening now was quite simple. Lucy was dead, and dead people couldn¡¯t talk to the living without a whole lot of energy backing them up. But we had told the universe that this one could. And with how frighteningly skilled at bureaucracy my other side was? Reality didn¡¯t dare contradict us.


    Suddenly Lucy popped into full visibility, tall and slender in the suit she commonly wore during working hours.


    There were a few moments of silence, before Lucy experimentally tried to pick up one of the pens in my pen holder. Her hand slipped right through, and the pen didn¡¯t even move.


    ¡°Oh. I¡­ I guess I¡¯m not alive again after all.¡±


    I nodded sadly, ¡°There are some things even I can¡¯t do without significant cost. I made it so you can be seen and heard, but that doesn¡¯t mean you can be touched.¡±


    Standing in the center of my office, Lucy asked, ¡°So¡­ where do we go from here? I know I¡¯m not fully alive, but dying all the way is terrifying.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°One way or another we need to get you a body of some description, or you¡¯re going to fade. There are relatively few options that are workable. Given Anne¡¯s¡­ proclivities she could probably do it if we found a substitute brain for you to inhabit. An inorganic body made via Craft or an appropriate transcendent skill is a known solution, but very expensive. The final option is finding someone willing to share their body with you, be it on a permanent or temporary basis.¡±


    Lucy thought for a moment. ¡°Why is a brain necessary, exactly? I¡¯m thinking now without one after all.¡±


    I answered, ¡°As far as I know it greatly reduces the strain you place on reality and thus the energy cost of existing, while also stabilizing you against interference.¡±


    The deceased secretary thought for a moment, ¡°...Then how do those inorganic bodies do it? The ones using Ductile magic, not Sharp stuff. If there were a way to take care of the interference, I wouldn¡¯t mind having to chug an energy potion every so often.¡±


    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know. I never studied Craft in any great detail.¡±


    After a bit, Lucy asked, ¡°Could we maybe get Anne in here? I know for a fact she¡¯s done some resurrections before her employment here, and she¡¯s got a huge stock of spare organs and bones and stuff she uses to fix people up. She might have some ideas.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°We still haven¡¯t figured out how to actually put you in there, but we might as well.¡±


    A couple minutes later, Anne had arrived. As soon as she spotted Lucy, she startled slightly. But a few moments later she seemed to have fully processed what was happening.


    ¡°Ah, I see you have a patient in need of re-corporealization. Fortunately I should be able to make that happen without much trouble, provided I get a little help with the final step.¡±


    I blinked, ¡°Wait, didn¡¯t you need to get a brain somewhere last time this came up?¡±


    Anne nodded, ¡°Yes, that is correct. Which is why I¡¯ve been growing some blanks in jars for the last few months. They¡¯re just about ready for usage.¡±


    It occurred to me now that I¡¯d never looked in the infirmary¡¯s storage rooms. Considering that Anne apparently had a whole organ-growing operation back there, that was definitely a major oversight on my part.


    Somewhat dreading the answer, I asked, ¡°Anne, out of curiosity how many people¡¯s worth of¡­ spare parts do you keep on hand at any given time?¡±


    The doctor¡¯s face brightened up, ¡°Oh, about thirty. I¡¯ve only got six brains at the moment though. Now come on we¡¯ve got a death to reverse, and I can¡¯t do the Mancia to put Lucy in the new brain myself.¡±


    And that¡¯s how I got roped into helping Anne surgically assemble a woman from assorted parts, wearing a respirator and surgical gloves as we did so. Lucy had come along to watch, though the effect bringing her into visibility ceased as soon as we left my office.


    Throughout the procedure, I couldn¡¯t help but notice just how¡­ unaffected Anne was. I was passing her nerves, bones, blood vessels, muscles, organs, and other bits of biological matter and barely keeping from throwing up. But Anne was treating this like it was totally routine, cracking weird jokes and fusing bits of somehow living tissue together in ways that really shouldn¡¯t work.


    In three hours, we¡¯d assembled a body that was a near-perfect match for how Lucy had been in life, brains and all. The only sign that anything was off was the barely visible surgical seams all across its skin, a complete lack of hair, and the fact that it was currently lying inert.


    Then Anne turned to me. ¡°Right, you¡¯re the Mancia expert. Putting Lucy in her new body is your job.¡±


    I nodded, got out a marker, and started writing the needed script on her new forehead. It took a couple minutes to get it just right.


    ¡°Got the mental integrator written properly. Lucy, touch that and you¡¯ll get pulled in.¡±


    Through my spectacles, I saw that tangle of denial and defiance reach for the central spot of the formation. A moment later, she was in¡­ but the body still wasn¡¯t moving.


    On the other hand, Anne seemed to notice a change of some sort. ¡°Ah, the brain has accepted her in. Excellent, time for the final step.¡±


    As the physician of slightly dubious sanity rummaged around for the needed equipment, I couldn¡¯t help but ask


    ¡°Anne, what is the last step exactly?¡±


    Turning around with a pair of cables in hand and a massive grin evident on her face, she answered.


    ¡°Why, the jump start of course! Now clip that one to her big toe, we need to make sure the current passes through both the brain and the heart!¡±


    I did as Anne asked, and when I looked up she¡¯d already covered Lucy¡¯s head with electrodes.


    ¡°Excellent.¡±


    Then Anne closed the switch (since when was there an industrial electrical switch in here!?), and my glasses immediately flared up showing the massive amounts of power at play. The room positively reeked of ozone as the energy coursed through Lucy¡¯s now writhing form, and I couldn¡¯t help but feel distinctly uneasy. That¡¯s when I noticed something: the energy was disappearing into the operating table.


    This wasn¡¯t Ductile magic, and it wasn¡¯t Sharp either. This was sacrificial magic, and that could only be done by a monster. I knew that couldn¡¯t be Anne, which meant¡­ it was the operating table.


    I barely had time to process all of this before Anne cut the power and helped Lucy to her feet with a great degree of urgency. To Anne¡¯s credit she seemed alright and I couldn¡¯t detect any soul damage that would leave her a monster.


    That said¡­ ¡°Lucy, quick question to make sure it¡¯s really you. How did you die?¡±


    She flinched, before answering, ¡°Vampire. Bit me on the neck and drained me.¡±


    A few more questions passed and Lucy was seeming incredibly uncomfortable, on the verge of tears. But her responses were exactly the reassurance I¡¯d needed.


    I nodded sadly ¡°Sorry for putting you through that. Lucy, you may go.¡±


    Tears dripping from her eyes, the resurrected secretary bolted from the infirmary. As soon as she left the room, I turned to Anne.


    ¡°We need to talk. Why do you have an operating table with a monster soul in it?¡±


    Anne nervously tapped her fingers together, before admitting, ¡°I made it; that¡¯s just about as benign as monsters come and it¡¯s been proven highly useful. A simple trade of energy for life. It¡¯s an old family technique.¡±


    Possibilities whirled through my mind, and two pressing questions presented themselves.


    ¡°Anne, I want you to be entirely honest with me because this is very important. Which family?¡±


    Anne very clearly didn¡¯t want to answer, but after several moments she admitted, ¡°My real name is Franz Nervenstein<sup>1</sup></a>. I¡¯m a Nervenstein. I know what you¡¯re thinking I¡¯m not like the rest of them I was disowned for caring about my patients please don¡¯t tell anyone I¡¯m practicing medicine dad will harvest my organs!¡±


    Oh. Them. That explained everything. Considering how he (she? they?) must have been raised by that lineage of medical nightmares¡­ it was a minor miracle Franz hadn¡¯t ended up a truly horrific person. I nodded sadly.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, your secret is safe with me. I won¡¯t let news of your location¡­ or self-inflicted transition reach your family.¡±


    That seemed to calm him(?) down a bit, and I figured I could ask my next question. The one that would determine if I needed to get the NMCU involved. I gestured to the operating table.


    ¡°So how exactly did you make it? Just out of academic curiosity.¡±


    Franz seemed much happier to talk about this.


    ¡°Ah, good news on that front. The spiritual fragments used there were artificially cultured. It¡¯s a bit tricky getting it exactly right, but I still have my copy of the instructions around here if you want to read up on it.¡±


    As Franz started rummaging through his closet for the book in question, I let my concern abate. Despite his origins and unconventional methods, he was as benign as he realistically could be.


    ¡°I believe you, Franz. I believe you.¡±


    Franz either didn¡¯t hear me, or was too focused on finding the notes in question to care. After a few moments he dug out a notebook titled ¡®On the creation of useful monsters¡¯


    ¡°This is my copy of great-grandpa Victor¡¯s research into monster souls. How to make them, break them, change them, and use them. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s one of the only things from my family that I¡¯m actually happy to have. The experiments detailed in the first part are horrific, but the second half is full of useful techniques that don¡¯t actually need much if any unethical activity.¡±


    Wait a moment, I think I remember this from history class back in school. There was a major uptick in vampire encounters about eighty years ago; it turned into quite the cause for concern.


    ¡°Franz, did your great grandfather make any vampires in the course of his research by any chance?¡±


    Franz nodded, ¡°Yes, at least four hundred of them. They¡¯re one of the easier monsters to make, so a lot of his early research used them as lab animals. As far as I can tell he just discarded them into the wild after he was done experimenting on any given specimen.¡±


    ...The school doctor has a tome full of techniques on how to make monsters. A book written by a madman who treated vampires like lab rats and lived to tell the tale. And Franz uses its instructions to make medical equipment.


    I think I need to lie down...


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 Security Upgrades and Winter Exams

    The day after Lucy¡¯s resurrection, a couple things happened. First, Lucy left for inpatient mental health care on account of her recent traumatic experiences. Second, materials for the security system upgrades started arriving. Some of these were largely pre-made and simply needed to be installed; the many and various sensors designed to keep track of student, staff, and hazard locations very much fit this category. Other pre-assembled components included things like the immobilization field projectors, which would lock a hostile entity in place and allow for easy disposal.


    But there were some bits we¡¯d need to make on site; Sharp teleportation systems weren¡¯t something you could just buy, structural reinforcement spells were too dependent on the nature of the building, threshold wards the same.


    So while the contractors installed the pre-assembled bits and added the structural warding, the teleportation systems and threshold wards would be up to me and Mr. Demouls. We were some of the only people around who could do the former, and Demouls would be one of the best people for the threshold wards.


    So every day I found myself carefully assembling the teleportation units for the security system, the devices which would ensure hostiles were never in the same location as innocent bystanders.


    These weren¡¯t just complex devices involving rather expensive materials. As far as my other side¡¯s magic was concerned, these needed the authority to decide who could be where at any given time. That meant they needed to be employees of the school. And that meant they needed pay.


    Fortunately a sizable lump sum would be good for several decades, a stack of high-denomination coins taking the place of the battery in each unit. On the other hand it meant I needed to write out a full-fledged magically binding employment contract for each one, then somehow induce an inanimate object to sign it.


    Considering the inherent difficulties of constructing, naming, paying, and contracting each teleporter unit, I could only get about two of them done per day without neglecting my other duties. Considering I¡¯d need a bit more than a hundred of them for full coverage of the school, this was going to take the better part of two months.


    Of course, the most expensive part of the whole system was the central control crystal. A fifteen kilogram cylindrical crystal of artificial Quartz with microscopic Mancia script throughout its whole volume. This is what would tie all the disparate elements together into a single whole, allowing it to respond reasonably intelligently to threats.


    Ultimately it ended up in the boiler room, for lack of better options. The security office was too open; students went in there all the time for lost and found stuff or reporting issues. The custodial office had similar issues in terms of being too easily accessible. And putting it in the Budget¡¯s office would result in the crystal¡¯s functionality getting overwritten with pure finance sooner or later, no matter how much it tried to restrain itself.


    In the meantime, there wasn¡¯t much of immediate threat actually happening at the school. Jethro made plenty of visits to the on-site therapist, Demouls had to dispose of a couple mind-warping artifacts his Mancia class produced, and things generally chugged along as normal.


    It was about a week before the winter solstice by the time the security system was fully installed, and ready for its final test run before full activation. Demouls had volunteered to play the Opposing Force in this specific exercise; he was the best candidate really. He had the speed, maneuverability, and combat capabilities to simulate a highly lethal combatant. Demouls also had the skill and restraint to avoid actually killing anyone, which was rather important.


    There wouldn¡¯t be much sense in trying to have this sort of thing as a surprise, so we did notify the staff and students of the generalities of what was about to happen: we needed to make sure the new security system worked properly, and Demouls would be playing the part of an attacker during the test.


    The first simulated attack was a straightforward assault, trying to break through the threshold wards and force an entry. I was watching from the sidelines as Demouls charged the north side door, sword in hand. There was an impact, and a flash of severed spacetime as the professor tried to cut through, but the attempt to force entry was rebuffed. Further efforts to try cutting through the wall or doorframe were similar failures.


    Looking at what happened, I felt the urge to ask Demouls, ¡°So. How exactly did you make a barrier that can stand up to your attacks? I thought you could cut through anything.¡±


    He smiled at me.


    ¡°I designed it to parry of course! It doesn¡¯t matter how unstoppable the attack is if it just gets bounced off somewhere else.¡±


    Ah. That made sense.


    ¡°So, next up we see how it handles an attempt to teleport in, I guess?¡±


    Demouls nodded, and sliced a gash in reality leading directly to the lunch room. He sprinted through¡­ and disappeared.


    Ah, looked like it worked then. Time to check the trap. It didn¡¯t take long to reach the main atrium, even while at a regular walking pace. When I got there, I saw Professor Demouls locked in an immobilization field. Though this one had been calibrated to be loose enough to at least allow him to talk.


    ¡°The teleportation systems work. Now can you please get to the security office and have them let me out?¡±


    ¡°Will do, Lawrence.¡±


    I didn¡¯t bother walking the long way, simply opening a door that normally lead to one of the classrooms and directly entering the security office.


    ¡°Good news everyone, the new security system works great. Now could you lot please re-register Lawrence Demouls as friendly and let him out of the immobilization field?¡±


    The two ladies who¡¯d ended up as the security system¡¯s operators nodded. Sherry pressed a few switches and started typing in Mr. Demouls¡¯ profile, while Tina continued monitoring the various sensor feeds.


    After a few moments Sherry noted, ¡°It¡¯s done, we¡¯ve registered Lawrence Demouls in the system.¡±


    There were a few more tests of the system after that, making sure the various parts of it talked to each other, that it would get students and non-combat staff away from dangerous areas, and quite a few other things. But we didn¡¯t need a simulated attacker for those, so Lawrence could get on with preparing his Mancia class for the winter examinations.


    Two days after Lawrence¡¯s close encounter with an immobilization field, it was time for full activation.


    I¡¯d opted to wait around the security office for this one. It¡¯s not every day you got to see such an extensive integrated system like this reach full activation.


    Sherry and Tina were going down the checklist, making absolutely sure they hadn¡¯t missed anything.


    ¡°Final systems check before activation. Control crystal?¡±


    ¡°Readout says it¡¯s stable, no errors logged since installation.¡±


    ¡°Teleportation units?¡±


    ¡°All coming up green, current pay period will be good for forty years.¡±


    ¡°Immobilization field projectors?¡±


    ¡°All active in standby mode, ready to go at a moment¡¯s notice.¡±


    ¡°Fire suppression systems?¡±


    ¡°Fire suppression reads as in good working order.¡±


    ¡°Hazardous magic isolation fields?¡±


    ¡°All units ready. Estimated response time of twenty milliseconds. It should be safe to touch the Budget¡¯s doorknob now, but I still wouldn¡¯t risk it.¡±


    ¡°Structural reinforcement wards?¡±


    ¡°Durability enhancement and self repair are both operating nominally.¡±


    ¡°Threshold barriers?¡±


    ¡°Threshold and exterior barriers are fully active; current permeability settings require hostile intent to block passage.¡±


    ¡°Visual spectrum cameras?¡±


    Tina took a minute to click through all the various feeds, ¡°All in good working order with minimal gaps; recording buffer is set to save footage from the last four days in case something comes up later. Deliberate blind spots in bedrooms and toilets as intended.¡±


    ¡°Magic detector cameras?¡±


    Another minute of clicking through the various options, ¡°Same story here; all cameras functioning as intended.¡±


    Seeing that everything about the security system was working exactly as intended, I remarked


    ¡°Well then, it seems like time to bring the security system to full activation status.¡±


    Sherry and Tina smiled, ¡°Yes. Yes it is.¡±


    The two of them moved a few sliders, flicked a couple switches¡­ and I could feel the slight shift in the air. It was done, the security system was fully operational and I could breathe a sigh of relief.


    Checking the time, I figured lunch was in order. Getting to the lunchroom took a couple minutes of walking, and on the way it was pretty clear I wasn¡¯t the only one who could feel the slight change in the air.


    There was now a presence throughout the school, watching, waiting, and keeping everyone as safe as it possibly could. It wasn¡¯t quite sapient, not like the budget. But it could definitely think after a fashion, especially with the guidance of its operators.


    The lunch line moved relatively quickly today. Mashed potatoes, peas, and sausage for me. Jethro was at his regular spot today, and I sat across from him. He still didn¡¯t look happy, even after two months of regular sessions with the on-site therapists.


    I greeted him, ¡°Hey Jethro. Got the new security system up and running. How¡¯s your day been?¡±


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    The head custodian shrugged, ¡°It¡¯s been a day. Had a few minor incidents to clean up, needed to call in the hazardous magic team once, but nothing actively life-threatening with proper equipment. Could have been a lot worse, I guess.¡±


    I nodded silently as I enjoyed a bite of sausage. We all knew Jethro was still hurting from losing friends in the vampire attack, and we couldn¡¯t bring most of them back. Even with Franz¡¯ new¡­ supplies, it was a lot harder to bring back someone who died all the way. Reviving a ghost was far easier.


    As I ate the rest of my food, Jethro asked, ¡°So. What¡¯s next on your to do list?¡±


    I finished a bite of mashed potatoes. ¡°I need to review the final assessments before winter break. Make sure that they¡¯ve been properly administered, and deal with any cheaters that got caught. We¡¯re required to keep track of how the students are doing after all. This is also a good opportunity to check up on the various teachers and make sure they¡¯re meeting standards.¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯d say get to it then. That said I¡¯d pay extra attention to the ones who were hired during Humbernot¡¯s time. His hiring methods were extremely corrupt.¡±


    I nodded in agreement. Yes there were quite a few teachers I still hadn¡¯t looked into in all that much detail. After professor Arrence I really should have, but things just kept coming up.


    So as soon as I got back to my office, I got out the staff listings for teachers. Name, subjects taught, date of hiring, everything.


    Unsurprisingly, a bit less than half of the teachers were hired during Humbernot¡¯s time. He¡¯d had a decade, and many of the teachers that were here when he arrived quit or were dismissed during his term.


    Not counting the four-man team from the National Magical Crimes Unit, there were one hundred and twelve staff at this school. Counting Mr. Slate we had thirty teachers, twenty nine if you classified him as administrative staff. There were thirteen teachers Humbernot had hired still teaching here; before Arrence was fired, one of them retired, and Gina Haskell was killed, there had been sixteen.


    So I started cross-referencing the lists of teachers by subject.


    Neither of the current math teachers had been hired by Humbernot.


    Both science teachers predated his term.


    One of the literature instructors was hired by him.


    Both history teachers were hired by Humbernot; I¡¯d need to look into that.


    One of the Civics teachers was hired just before I got here.


    Both of the mental health instructors were hired by Humbernot.


    Both Ethics and Safety of Magic teachers were hired by Humbernot. However Mr. Slate wasn¡¯t, and if those two were problematic he¡¯d have dragged them to my office by their ears.


    None of the Sharp subjects had anyone hired by Humbernot teaching them; all three of them signed on before he arrived.


    One of the remaining Mancia teachers was hired by Humbernot, but I¡¯d already looked into his conduct earlier during the firing of Arrence.


    Both Flux teachers were hired by Humbernot. However, the restrictions on who was legally allowed to teach Flux meant that I¡¯d already looked into them. They were satisfactory.


    One of the Craft instructors was a Humbernot hire. I¡¯d probably need to look into her.


    Modern Synthesis was another class where one of the teachers was hired by Humbernot. The other was one I¡¯d hired to replace someone who retired shortly after my arrival.


    Mercifully, neither Alchemy teacher was hired by Humbernot; both of them had signed on before his term.


    Reviewing the list, the two teachers for Mental Health were the highest priority to review. That was a mandatory class for all students, and for good reason. If they weren¡¯t doing their job properly it was an active threat to the safety of everyone here.


    So I started looking into them more, getting more and more unsettled as I did so. Both of them had been childrens¡¯ ministers from the Church of Glorious Light before getting here. Their qualifications were issued by said church, instead of by any reputable medical school.


    I needed to see what they were actually up to during class. Knowing them if I called them to my office or let them know they were being inspected, they would pretty everything up and be on best behavior. I would have to survey them in secret.


    Fortunately, I could just use the same methods I did for Arrence. A simple ¡°Don¡¯t notice the inspector.¡± effect to cover me as I entered, and I sat back to watch how John Red taught his class.


    As everyone filed in, John got to writing on the whiteboard ¡°Submitting to Glory¡±


    I was getting a horrible sinking feeling already.


    ¡°Alright, does everyone remember what I taught you last class? Using magic for selfish ends is an act of sin. Repeat after me.¡±


    ¡°I shall not sin, lest I be condemned to the frost.¡±


    The students reluctantly repeated ¡°I shall not sin, lest I be condemned to the frost.¡±


    ¡°The light of Glory forgives those who follow His will.¡±


    ¡°The light of Glory forgives those who follow his will.¡±


    What followed was nothing less than an hour of blatant attempts at religious indoctrination, as John tried to shame the entire class into proclaiming their undying faith and loyalty for his god. He was blatantly preying on some very deeply personal insecurities of the students too.


    I seethed in rage even as I wrote everything down. No wonder there were so many mental health issues around here! Not only were the students not being taught appropriate mental health strategies, but the time was being spent getting them to feed a monster that ate worship!


    I wanted to fire John on the spot, but I needed to wait for a bit longer. I couldn¡¯t risk alerting Jade Rose before I inspected her too. So as the class let out, I snuck off to the next one.


    I didn¡¯t have to wait long for Jade to show very similar tendencies to her co-worker. It was clear: they both had to go.


    Actually on second thought this might just result in serious legal consequences for the light of Glory himself¡­


    Thirty minutes ¨C and several secure backups of the documentation I¡¯d made ¨C later, the both of them were in my office.


    I started off incredibly bluntly. ¡°Both of you are fired for gross misconduct. Before you go, there are some things I need to tell you.¡±


    John and Jade grit their teeth in anger, but forced themselves to remain silent.


    I continued, ¡°Your god is allowed to live on a few conditions. All worshipers must be adults partaking with full informed consent. His church must meaningfully contribute to the common good. And his priests are required to conduct themselves with genuine compassion and consideration.¡±


    I stood up, ¡°Your actions directly jeopardize all of this. I have already informed the relevant authorities, and you can expect the church to come under severe censure and investigation due to this. It may even result in Mr. Light of Glory being killed, if he turns out to be deliberately perpetrating this behavior.¡±


    Both of them couldn¡¯t take this anymore, and they opened up on me.


    Jade shouted, ¡°What, how dare you, the light of Glory is superior to any mortal how dare you suggest he can be judged!¡±


    I cast a simple silencing spell, even as my other side¡¯s Authority kept the both of them rooted to the spot.


    ¡°Fundamentally, gods are a sub-category of monster. All of them. Like all monsters, they must either sacrifice or force someone else to do so in order to use their powers. Monsters are therefore inherently a danger to society, and unless they can prove a lack of malice they are killed to prevent the absolutely massive harm they can do.¡±


    ¡°Your god was only spared from this fate on promise of good behavior. I hope you both realize just how badly your actions have jeopardized that arrangement. And before you object that he cannot be killed by mere mortals: there are plenty of gods who¡¯ve been killed before. You may leave now.¡±


    That ¡®may¡¯ was actually a ¡®will¡¯, enforced by transcendent authority. They didn¡¯t have a choice but to collect their personal items and leave on the next train.


    Right, now to hire some actual mental health teachers. This time I¡¯d be hiring people who got their qualifications from an actual therapist school, rather than a religious monastery. I picked up the telephone, dialed the Education Department, and called them up.


    I spent the next few days thoroughly inspecting the rest of Humbernot¡¯s hires. I only needed to fire three more people, and fortunately none of them were as damaging as those two preachers. Getting replacements in would take about a week.


    I also finally got around to reading that report the two private detectives had left all that time ago; with everything going on I¡¯d simply forgotten about it until now. As it turns out every single teacher I¡¯d needed to fire was one of the ones those two had listed as being suspicious.


    In the meantime? It was time for Winter Examinations, the bi-annual assessments of student performance and progress before a couple weeks of leisure time. Amelia, the school¡¯s on-site therapist had agreed to assess the damage the two priests had done so I at least didn¡¯t have to fill in for the mental health examinations.


    I also didn¡¯t have to fill in for the Craft teacher I¡¯d needed to fire; Adam, the other instructor for the subject had agreed to do so. My other side had promptly scheduled him into two places at once, with his consent. Moderately damaging to causality? Yes. Extremely useful in situations like this? Also yes.


    On the other hand, I¡¯d needed to fire both history teachers. Which meant I did need to fill in for them on this occasion. Fortunately I at least knew enough about history to assess what the students actually knew, and I also didn¡¯t have to actually teach.


    On the other hand I did have to be in two places at once for most of the day, so I had to split up from my other side again.


    Fortunately the history tests were standardized, so I didn¡¯t need to be terribly creative about how to set it up. Unfortunately the history tests were standardized, meaning it wouldn¡¯t actually be all that informative about how well the students had learned their history.


    Still, I showed up in the classroom at the appointed time along with about thirty students.


    ¡°Right. Everyone collect your exam and answer card. If you have an exam marked A you can¡¯t sit next to other students with an A marked exam. Same goes for B and C exams. You have one hour.¡±


    Everyone got up and collected their exams, then got to work. What followed was a mercifully quiet period aside from the occasional request for clarification by a student. At the end of it, I collected the exam papers and everyone filed out.


    There were seven more exam periods for me to sit through today, and by the time it was over I was bored out of my mind. Looking at my hands I was also starting to flicker slightly. Oh. The authorization to exist separately from the other Adrian was running out. Abruptly I found myself halfway across the school, reunited with my counterpart.


    He greeted me, ¡°So, how did it go?¡± via thought-speak.


    ¡°It was very boring and I missed lunch. You?¡±


    ¡°Boring for me too, though I actually had a lunch period. Fried noodles today.¡±


    I grumbled, ¡°Mind sharing those memories please?¡±


    Other Adrian acquiesced, and I got access to his memories of lunch. Crispy fried noodles with some sort of savory sauce, chicken and vegetables mixed in. Ah.


    My other self noted, ¡°Anyway, it¡¯s time for supper. Seeing as you didn¡¯t get to have lunch, you pick what we eat.¡±


    So I walked us down to the cafeteria and started picking out our food. Looked like the kitchen was still on that Eastern kick, because the options were fried rice, a couple different ways to do up chicken, egg rolls, and vegetable dumplings. I went for the fried rice, the spicy chicken, and an egg roll.


    I subsequently sat myself down across from Mr. Demouls, the Mancia teacher in question pausing to greet me as I sat down.


    ¡°Hello Adrian, how¡¯d your day go?¡±


    I shrugged, ¡°It was really boring, how¡¯d yours go?¡±


    I started munching on my egg roll as Lawrence figured out an answer, the three people in there clearly taking some time to formulate what they were going to say.


    ¡°Well, the written and multiple choice exams were rather boring. The practical tests were anything but, seeing as quite a few of the students were authorized to learn emotion-altering effects.¡±


    Lawrence ate another spoonful of his fried rice, while I finished my egg roll. This was a lot better than the last time the chef wanted to do Eastern food. His skills in that regard had very clearly improved.


    My other side asked, ¡°I do hope you limited them to safe emotions during the test?¡±


    Lawrence swallowed his current bite of food, ¡°Yes, calming effects along with mild happiness or sadness only. The last thing we need is that bunch of teenagers making each other even hornier than normal.¡±


    Dinner was soon over, and with the day basically concluded I only had a couple things to do. First, file the history exams for the new teachers to look over. Second, go to bed.


    The next morning marked the start of winter break, where there wouldn¡¯t be much in the way of conventional classes happening. That said all the students were still here at the school, and there was still paperwork for the two of me to do.


    So I was in my office when Geoffrey Blue came in.


    I looked up from the request for ingredients the kitchen had sent us. ¡°Hello Geoffrey and Xiu, what brings the two of you here today?¡±


    Geoffrey smiled, and let Xiu speak, ¡°So we¡¯ve been working on combining our abilities and Geoffrey¡¯s been doing really well at Craft and Bionce! We¡¯ve made something really neat and we want to share it with you.¡±


    I blinked as the implication clicked into place. These kids had just done their first act of proper archmagery together. ¡°Is it the sort of thing you can bring here, or will I need to go where it is?¡±


    Geoffrey spoke in his own slightly more masculine voice, ¡°It¡¯s too big to fit through the door of our bedroom. We can¡¯t bring it here.¡±


    I had to see this. ¡°Just let me finish with this form so that the kitchen can make lunch tomorrow, and I¡¯ll be ready to come take a look at it.¡±


    Geoffrey smiled, ¡°Sure thing misters Adley.¡±


    <hr>


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 Winter Break

    I will admit, I found the process of following Geoffrey to their room distinctly uncomfortable. They were an archmage, and I had no idea what exactly they¡¯d created. It wouldn¡¯t be deliberately dangerous, Geoffrey and Xiu didn¡¯t have it in them to hurt someone on purpose. But this was magic, it had every chance of going horrifically wrong without any active malice involved.


    Still, we got there soon enough. And to my absolute shock, the room was mostly taken up by an absolutely massive dollhouse. Clearly one they¡¯d built themselves from scratch, without any sort of kit.


    After a few moments, I asked, ¡°Is this what you wanted to show me?¡±


    The kids nodded enthusiastically, ¡°Yes misters Adley! But it¡¯s the inside that¡¯s coolest!¡±


    Then they leaned down and opened the front door. Suddenly the both of them vanished into the dollhouse in a blur of motion. Oh, shit I need to go in and make sure they¡¯re alright.


    I followed suit, leaning down and¡­


    The next thing I knew we were standing in the front room of a house. I looked back at the door, and it lead to a garden, rather than back to the school.


    The worst-case scenario whirling through my mind, I turned to Geoffrey and asked, ¡°Just to be clear, you have tested that you can leave this place, right?¡±


    A little girl stepped out from behind Geoffrey. Ah, this must be Xiu.


    ¡°Yeah, the front gate to the garden lets you out to the hallway. But we don¡¯t want to leave just yet, this is one of the only places we don¡¯t have to be in the same body.¡±


    I nodded. Most archmages had a private place they could split up for a bit and pursue their own individual hobbies. If figures that Geoffrey and Xiu would make one.


    ¡°Question, have you invited any of the other kids in here?¡±


    Geoffrey answered, ¡°Yes, but we couldn¡¯t split up when they were watching for some reason. So we stopped letting them in so much.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but frown. That was definitely the non-disclosure agreement Geoffrey and Xiu had signed kicking in.


    ¡°Sad to say, but that¡¯s our fault ultimately. We had you sign a magically binding non-disclosure agreement about revealing how archmages work for the safety of the world. The power we can wield isn¡¯t the sort that should be easily acquired.¡±


    Xiu frowned, ¡°That doesn¡¯t seem to have helped though? There¡¯s still bad people around causing problems. I still remember when that vampire showed up.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re partially correct, Xiu. The thing is the sort of people who view hurting people to get their way as acceptable don¡¯t stop. If they knew how to become an archmage they would do so in a moment, then use that power to hurt even more people then they already can. In fact they¡¯d probably resort to mind-controlling their partners, just to get at that power without needing to cooperate.¡±


    ¡°If that knowledge got out any psychopath with a good grasp of Mancia could become a terrifyingly powerful villain, though still less powerful than an archmage with willing cooperation as the basis. It¡¯s far better for the world that it stays a secret, even though it sucks for us archmages personally.¡±


    Xiu¡¯s frown said she clearly didn¡¯t agree with me, but she didn¡¯t actually say anything.


    There were a few awkward minutes of silence, before Geoffrey asked a question.


    ¡°Want to see the garden? It¡¯s one of our favorite parts of the whole thing.¡±


    I smiled.


    ¡°I would very much enjoy seeing that, thank you.¡±


    So the two children showed me through the door and lead me into a riotous space of green. These were plants I¡¯d never seen before, and every last one of them was unique. The kids had definitely made these themselves.


    As some fruit caught my eye, Geoffrey noted, ¡°I managed to make sure the fruit was safe to eat with what I learned in Bionce class, but don¡¯t eat any of the leaves or stems. I don¡¯t know if they¡¯re poison or not.¡±


    Ah. Glad they¡¯d thought that through.


    I grabbed one of the softer looking fruits, and when I bit into it I discovered that it was basically a vanilla-flavored juice box with a pit floating inside. Much to the imagined dismay of my shirt as it was covered in sticky juice.


    Geoffrey and Xiu¡¯s giggling in the background only intensified the embarrassment. Still, the wide variety of fruit was both creative and interesting.


    After a bit of fruit-tasting, I asked, ¡°Would it be possible to persuade you to make another garden like this for the kitchen? It could do a lot to change up the menu.¡±


    Xiu thought for a moment.


    ¡°Only if you do something to make being an archmage suck less. I¡¯m a girl, that¡¯s a boy body I¡¯m stuck in outside of here. Being in there with Geoffrey is really uncomfortable, and making it worse all my friends back home think I¡¯m dead!¡±


    Oh. Hmmm.


    After a moment, I noted, ¡°I might be able to make some arrangements there. Geoffrey, are you at all willing to have your body altered?¡±


    Geoffrey thought for a moment, ¡°Kind of? I really don¡¯t want to be a girl all the way, but I don¡¯t think I need to be a boy all the way either?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°Xiu, is that acceptable to you?¡±


    Xiu took a while to think. ¡°Probably. It¡¯s certainly better than this.¡±


    ¡°Right, I¡¯ll be right back. I just need to talk to someone.¡±


    I exited the front gate of Blue¡¯s pocket dimension, directly to the infirmary.


    Franz suddenly snapped to attention. ¡°Yes Adrian?¡±


    I made sure no-one was listening in with a quick silencing spell, ¡°Curiously, do you happen to know how archmages work already?¡±


    Franz hesitantly nodded, ¡°Yes actually. My great aunt Priscilla made a few while experimenting on the deeper workings of the mind.¡±


    Figures.


    ¡°Right, Geoffrey Blue needs some edits to their body for mutual comfort.¡±


    Franz blinked, ¡°Wouldn¡¯t be the first transition I¡¯ve done for a student¡­ Or myself. Can you get them in to talk with me?¡±


    About five minutes later the eight year old archmage in question was in the infirmary talking to Franz, and I¡¯d been kicked out for reasons of medical confidentiality. Figuring that they¡¯d be busy in there for a while, I went to check in with Jethro.


    It had been a long time since I visited the custodial office, and when I got there it was a lot different from how the place had been set up before hand. Not only was it absolutely spotless, there was a dedicated maintenance space set aside for the hazmag equipment and a small break table for custodians who were off duty. There were also framed photographs of the custodians who¡¯d died in the vampire attack.


    Jethro looked up from his paperwork.


    ¡°Hello Adrian. What brings you to the custodial office today?¡±


    I shrugged.


    ¡°Had some spare time and figured I¡¯d check up on you.¡±


    Jethro frowned.


    ¡°Not going to lie, it¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s been really hard moving on from what happened. I¡¯m still not fully over it. I¡¯m starting to handle the grief easier at least.¡±


    Figured as much.


    ¡°How¡¯s work been?¡±


    ¡°About the same as ever, though it¡¯s a lot easier to handle the truly dangerous messes now that the new security system is in place. We haven¡¯t had a serious injury since it was turned on; been having to run the team through extra exercises to keep from getting sloppy. That said, I have some spare time if you¡¯re up for bowling?¡±


    ¡°That sounds wonderful; I¡¯ll pay for the first string.¡±


    Jethro stood up, a genuine smile on his face for the first time in months.


    ¡°You have a deal.¡±


    One train ride to Skanaport later, we were back at Helen¡¯s Bowlorama. Lawrence and Reese had opted to come along too. Still no sign of Helen herself at her eponymous venue.


    As we were all getting our bowling shoes on, Jethro asked a very obvious question.


    ¡°So, who¡¯s up first?¡±


    Lawrence shrugged, ¡°Personally I think it should be alphabetical, going by surname.¡±


    I objected, ¡°You just want to blatantly show me up after I miss half the pins, don¡¯t you?¡±


    A smug smile appeared on their face, ¡°Got it in one Adrian.¡±


    There was no fighting it, the order ended up me, Demouls, Jethro Rug, and finally Reese Tonsa.


    Fortunately, I did remember what Jethro told me last time about the oil on the bowling lane. I¡¯d therefore added a special scanning mode to my glasses for just this occasion, so I¡¯d know what parts of the lane were more or less slippery. I pulled back, twisted my wrist slightly as I threw the ball underhand¡­ and got a nasty-ass split.


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    Still, with my second ball I managed to knock down all but one of the pins.


    Lawrence took one look at what had happened and remarked, ¡°Well then, I do believe I can do better than that.¡±


    Yeah no, they used way too little, then way too much spin and sent both their balls right into the gutter.


    A look of consternation on their face, Demouls asked, ¡°I¡­ what happened?¡±


    I grinned, ¡°Relax, no-one¡¯s good at bowling when they just start. Plus they oil the lane, and it¡¯s more slippery at different parts. Really hard to get the ball to curve how you want if you don¡¯t account for that.¡±


    ¡°Now you tell me, after I¡¯ve already completely botched a frame.¡±


    ¡°Hey, you¡¯re the one who wanted to make me look like an incompetent.¡±


    The rest of the afternoon at Helen¡¯s went well. We played a total of three strings, with everyone except Jethro chipping in for one of them. At the end of it we returned our shoes and took the train back to Red Point.


    Fortunately there hadn¡¯t been any incidents while we were away this time, and I figured Franz would be done working on Blue by now. So I wandered over to the infirmary and gently knocked on the door.


    ¡°Anne, it¡¯s Adrian. Can I come in?¡±


    I heard Franz answer, ¡°They¡¯re fully closed up, dressed, and getting used to their new parts now. Come in!¡±


    So I opened the door, and yep, Blue definitely had a different body shape now.


    ¡°Ah, I see you¡¯re all done?¡±


    Franz smiled, ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve altered their body to their specifications. It should serve them well for the foreseeable future.¡±


    I turned to the kids.


    ¡°So. Do you like how Anne reworked your body?¡±


    Geoffrey spoke first, ¡°Honestly it¡¯s¡­ fine I guess? It¡¯s comfortable enough, it¡¯s just going to take some getting used to.¡±


    As for Xiu, ¡°This is so much better! I can dress us up in girl clothes without it seeming weird now! And I have my own voice again without needing to strain!¡±


    I smiled, ¡°Glad to hear you two are comfortable enough. So¡­ about that fruit garden for the kitchen?¡±


    They smiled, ¡°We¡¯ll get right on it! Just need to be introduced to the chef so we know what kinds of fruit and vegetables he¡¯ll be needing.¡±


    Ah, that was easy enough to arrange.


    When he heard the plan, Chef Renard answered, ¡°While we¡¯re cooking? Absolutely not. I don¡¯t want a child possibly getting injured in here or accidentally contaminating the food. The kitchen is very busy when we¡¯re getting meals ready, and it¡¯s all too plausible for someone to get hurt if they don¡¯t know what they¡¯re doing.¡±


    Blue asked, ¡°What about when you¡¯re not cooking though? Also it¡¯s not like I have to put the entrance to the garden inside the kitchen.¡±


    Renard thought for a moment.


    ¡°We¡¯re busy with cooking most hours of the day, making three full meals per day for roughly eight hundred people is far from a trivial task. Especially when we actually try for some level of quality in the food.¡±


    Before Blue could ask, Renard noted


    ¡°And truth be told I still don¡¯t want you working in here when we aren¡¯t cooking. That¡¯s supposed to be my time off and I don¡¯t want to spend it supervising children.¡±


    I asked, ¡°What about putting it in just outside the kitchen? Easily accessible, but none of the safety issues you¡¯re worried about.¡±


    Renard visible mulled it over. ¡°Well, the pantry does also have a door leading directly to the train station; makes bringing in the ingredients from the train much easier. It could quite possibly work as a location for the entry point. That said, I do have some requests.¡±


    Blue asked ¡°What exactly did you have in mind?¡±


    ¡°Make it as automatic as possible in terms of both cultivation and harvesting; my cooks are already working incredibly hard just to make things on time with pre-prepared ingredients. I don¡¯t want to increase their total workload.¡±


    Renard caught his breath before continuing


    ¡°Also please just use standard pre-existing fruits and vegetables? If you get creative with them, there¡¯s no guarantee of them having the nutritional requirements we have to meet according to the regulations.¡±


    I looked to Blue, a smile on their face ¡°Can do, chef Renard! I¡¯ll get started on that right away.¡±


    As the chef showed Blue to the pantry and they started getting to work on the pocket dimension, I found myself wandering back to my office.


    The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Indeed, so did the majority of winter break.


    On the last day before classes were scheduled to resume, I found myself in the snow-covered courtyard with Mr. Demouls as we talked about what might happen. Privacy spells at full power, of course.


    ¡°So. Vallium¡¯s almost certainly going to try again. Blue is still the most vulnerable Archmage to kidnapping, despite their rapidly growing skill.¡±


    Mr. Demouls nodded sadly.


    ¡°Fortunately the new security system means he¡¯ll have a much harder time of things, at least.¡±


    I shrugged.


    ¡°Vallium¡¯s not stupid enough to just walk in here and get himself caught by it though. We can expect scouting, attempts to figure out how it works, that sort of thing. He¡¯s only going to strike when he spots a vulnerability he can exploit.¡±


    Demouls raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°Considering he¡¯s gone out of his way to antagonize every archmage on the continent, I¡¯d argue that he very much is stupid. That said, he always works through proxies or at a safe distance; if he did anything directly he¡¯d get splattered and he knows it.¡±


    I sighed,


    ¡°Just means he¡¯ll find some new proxy to act through. Considering how things went last time, he¡¯s capable of finding some extremely dangerous proxies to get his dirty work done.¡±


    ¡°Well, I suppose we¡¯ll just have to wait and see, then.¡±


    The conversation drifted to other topics, before eventually sputtering out. Afterwards I went to get food; the first crop of vegetables had come in, and Chef Renard had quickly put them to use in Xinjiang-style stir fry.


    At supper I wound up sitting across from Franz, the school¡¯s doctor enjoying his fried rice with significant enthusiasm.


    Still, he did pause to greet me, ¡°Hello Adrian.¡± when I sat down.


    I couldn¡¯t help but smile ¡°Nice to see you too, Anne. How¡¯s the infirmary been?¡±


    Franz shrugged, ¡°It¡¯s been rather quiet since the new security system went in; the injury rate went through the floor when it was turned on. While I suppose that¡¯s a good thing, it also means I haven¡¯t had much to do aside from regular checkups, dealing with a minor influenza outbreak, and the rare elective surgery. It¡¯s kind of boring honestly.¡±


    Ah. Right, you only transcended a skill if you genuinely enjoyed doing it for its own sake, and Franz was a transcendent doctor with a particular emphasis on surgery. So this meant Franz wasn¡¯t getting the sort of activities he craved.


    I chewed my food as I thought about this; Franz was right about the injury rate going through the floor thanks to the new security system, that was one of the main benefits to having it. Wasn¡¯t about to undo that, since for everyone else it was a major step up. Opening the school as a medical practice was a no-go thanks to Franz¡¯ family and generally being a nonsensical idea.


    ¡°Sorry Anne, but nothing¡¯s coming to mind in that regard.¡±


    Franz shrugged, ¡°I¡¯m not about to go around experimenting on people without their consent; it would violate my doctor¡¯s oaths. I made sure to take a magically binding version, so...¡±


    The fact that Franz felt the need to mention that spoke volumes about how he¡¯d been raised.


    The rest of supper passed quietly, before something occurred to me. ¡°Come to think of it, maybe part of the drop in injuries is due to winter break? There aren¡¯t classes at the moment, so there¡¯s less going on that could lead to injuries in the first place.¡±


    Franz considered that for a moment, ¡°It¡¯s a possibility I suppose? I did have to treat a couple students who got themselves nasty chemical burns during their alchemy exam after all. Also someone who broke his arm in the Craft shop.¡±


    And bullying attempts these days just ended with the offender in an immobilization field very far away from their would-be victim. Thus meaning that particular source of injuries was no longer a factor.


    Injuries happening were definitely a bad thing no matter how you considered it, but at the very least Franz wasn¡¯t about to leave for another place of work. No way was I letting a doctor that effective go without damn good reason, and this was probably the safest place for him.


    ¡°Adrian, are you feeling alright? You spaced out on me for a bit there.¡±


    I blinked.


    ¡°Sorry Anne, got lost in thought.¡±


    The rest of the meal wrapped up without much more conversation, and I subsequently went to bed.


    As soon as I was asleep, I once again found myself sitting across a table from other me.


    ¡°Hello, other me. So. Classes start back up tomorrow.¡±


    I responded.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s correct. Do you think we¡¯re ready for things? Is there something we might have forgotten?¡±


    My counterpart thought for a moment.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so? But if we¡¯ve forgotten something we probably don¡¯t remember it.¡±


    There was a brief pause before he asked


    ¡°Anything you¡¯re worried about in particular? Aside from general class stuff, I mean.¡±


    ¡°Vallium. He¡¯s going to try again I just know it, My thoughts are whirling with ways he might try getting around the new security system and I can¡¯t figure out what he¡¯s going to do.¡±


    My other self shrugged.


    ¡°True I suppose, but it¡¯s also not something to keep stressing ourselves out over. Like you said we can¡¯t accurately predict what Vallium is going to do. But we¡¯ve prepared as well as we realistically can. It¡¯s not going to be easy for him now that a direct frontal assault is no longer an option.¡±


    ¡°I just can¡¯t help but feel like there¡¯s some weird edge case we didn¡¯t think to cover that¡¯s going to come back to bite us somehow. But I just can¡¯t figure out what it might be and it¡¯s really bugging me.¡±


    Ah¡­ I¡¯m being hugged. Thank you other me, I guess?


    ¡°l know this is anxiety-inducing for you, I¡¯m anxious too. We¡¯ve done the best we can with the resources available. Like mom used to say, the show must go on. We have no choice but to let tomorrow come.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but wince; someone trying to avoid that is exactly what lead to us meeting. It hadn¡¯t been a pleasant experience.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t suppose we do have a choice in the matter.¡±


    The next morning, it was officially the first day of classes for the spring term. We got out of bed, put on our trousers, donned a shirt, jammed our feet into our boots, and threw on our long coat. Next order of business, breakfast.


    As I approached the cafeteria, I couldn¡¯t help but notice an overwhelming scent of syrup. Upon arrival, it was easy to see why. There was a massive stack of pancakes ready to go, with sausage or bacon as the protein options and a choice between apple or peach as your fruit. Butter and syrup were also being provided in ample amounts.


    After waiting my turn to get food, I noticed something: this syrup wasn¡¯t the cheap concentrated sugar stuff. No, it was genuine maple. That stuff was pricy. I guess Renard¡¯s making the most of the savings from the garden?


    Making a note to ask chef Renard about it later, I loaded up with pancakes, sausage, and peach slices. Shortly afterwards I noticed Rou waving for me to come over, and I obligingly sat across from the alchemy teacher in question.


    As I drizzled syrup all over my delicious pancakes, I asked, ¡°So, why¡¯d you wave me over anyway?¡±


    Rou smiled, ¡°Well, this is my first term in quite a while that I¡¯ll be able to run a full lab course. Even after the audits restored my materials budget there wasn¡¯t much for it but to finish the term with the lesson plan I already had going.¡±


    I gestured for her to continue, even as I started chewing my first bite of pancake.


    ¡°Well first I wanted to thank you for finally getting things set up so I could run a proper lab course. I also was wondering if¡­¡±


    I raised an eyebrow as I swallowed, ¡°If what?¡±


    ¡°Could we go out together some time?¡±


    I blinked, ¡°What.¡±


    Rou seemed confused, ¡°I¡¯ve been flirting with you for a good three months and you still haven¡¯t noticed? I¡¯m not sure how this is supposed to be a surprise.¡±


    I sighed, ¡°Even aside from getting caught up in my administrative work and the fact that I just cannot pick up on that sort of thing, I¡¯m just not wired for romance. If you want to go bowling I¡¯m up for it any time, but I¡¯m just incompatible with one on one intimacy.¡±


    I took a bite of my sausage as Rou processed what I said. It took her a few moments to parse, before she answered. Well, responded might be a more accurate word.


    ¡°Eh?¡±


    After a few moments of Rou staring blankly at me, I waved my hand in front of her face to check she was still conscious.


    ¡°Rou, are you alright?¡±


    She blinked.


    ¡°I¡¯m doing alright, I¡¯m just having an issue understanding what you said. Could you please try again, but using different words?¡±


    Alright then.


    ¡°I¡¯m just not cut out for romance; the few times I¡¯ve been roped into a relationship the other person got pissed at me for just treating them like a friend after a while. Can¡¯t help myself, that¡¯s just how I am. And the ¡®bedroom activities¡¯ have always been incredibly uncomfortable for me, regardless of who they¡¯re with.¡±


    Comprehension dawned on Rou¡¯s face. Sad, disappointed comprehension.


    ¡°Oh. I¡¯ll just¡­ get back to work then.¡±


    I took another bite of sausage.


    ¡°Like I said, if you want to join me for bowling there¡¯s a spot open.¡±


    Rou frowned, ¡°It¡¯s not quite the same, but maybe.¡±


    There were a few moments of silence before Rou spoke again.


    ¡°Anyway, later today I¡¯m getting the lab materials in on the train. It¡¯s multiple shipping pallets worth of solvents, reagents, and other such things. Going to need to get them safely stored and test them for purity before they can be used for the lab course.¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°I hope that goes well for you; having a proper lab course for alchemy is important.¡±


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 Alchemical Meltdown

    Ultimately, I decided to wait at the train station for the alchemy lab¡¯s reagents to show up. My ability to actually help with unloading them properly was limited and I certainly didn¡¯t know how to use them. But it would be interesting to watch, and I had nothing better to do with my time at the moment.


    The locomotive whirred along the tracks towards the school¡¯s platform, hauling the usual load of two box cars and a passenger coach. After a few moments the train came to a stop, and Rou remarked


    ¡°The pallets full of reagents should be in the second box car. I¡¯ll get those out.¡±


    Indeed they were, and I watched with interest as Rou wheeled the first shipping pallet off the platform. Then something occurred to me.


    ¡°Rou, how are you going to get that pallet of materials up to the second floor, where the alchemy labs are? The elevator isn¡¯t exactly big enough for it.¡±


    Rou paused for a moment.


    ¡°Usually I ask for one of the custodians to haul it up the stairs with telekinesis. There¡¯s a bunch of materials that would react badly to that sort of handling, but those aren¡¯t the ones I work with in my teaching lab. They¡¯re just too dangerous to be useful for education.¡±


    ¡°If you like, I could do it?¡±


    Rou shrugged.


    ¡°Sure, I guess?¡±


    I nodded, used the Modern Synthesis handsigns for telekinesis, and started walking up the stairs with a floating pallet of reagents in tow.


    Rou nodded to me.


    ¡°Thank you Adrian, you saved me a few minutes of waiting there.¡±


    As she started wheeling the reagents off, something odd caught my eye.


    ¡°Rou, are those bottles of reagents supposed to be glowing faintly orange like that?¡±


    Rou looked down at the various jugs and bottles and jars. A second passed as she processed what she was seeing.


    ¡°FUCK!¡±


    Immediately she started dashing for the laboratory with her pallet of reagents, shouting, ¡°Adrian, get the hazmag team to alchemy lab one! There¡¯s something wrong with the reagents!¡±


    I immediately got out my radio. ¡°Hazardous magic team, there is an alchemical incident in progress. Get to alchemy lab one. I repeat, there is an alchemical incident in progress. Get to alchemy lab one.¡±


    Then I dashed after Rou. There wasn¡¯t much I could do on the alchemical front directly, but I was the Headmaster. I had a duty to be present during this sort of incident and mitigate it to the best of my ability.


    I got to the alchemy lab at roughly the same time as the hazardous magic team. Rou had already separated out the few different glowing bottles, and was already thinking out loud.


    ¡°Glowing orange after telekinetic handling and not immediately exploding narrows things down to three possible materials: Necrophosphate, Gampson¡¯s Elixir, and dissolved Auburnite. Those three materials react very badly to each other in a distinctly immediate fashion, so it¡¯s only one in any given bottle and they have very different requirements to neutralize them. I¡¯d estimate we¡¯ve got about two hours before the first explosion if it¡¯s Necrophosphate, longer if it¡¯s either of the others.¡±


    One of the hazardous magic women asked, ¡°If we¡¯ve got that long, then why don¡¯t we just move them out into the woods and let them go off really far away from the school? Sounds like we¡¯d save ourselves a lot of trouble that way.¡±


    ¡°Glad you asked. Now that they¡¯ve been activated all three materials are extremely shock sensitive, and getting moreso by the minute. We can take small samples for testing via pipette, but trying to move it in any significant quantity is asking for a premature detonation.¡±


    Rou took a moment to catch her breath. ¡°Right, first priority is identifying whether or not each bottle contains Necrophosphate. Fortunately it¡¯s the only candidate material that contains Phosphorus, so that¡¯s quite simple to test.¡±


    She pointed at a random hazmag person, ¡°You, fill a twenty milliliter beaker with Hydrogen Peroxide. Beakers are over there, Hydrogen Peroxide is in that cabinet.¡±


    ¡°You, get the Nitric Acid and Ammonium Molybdate from the second shipping pallet; it¡¯s still on the train platform.¡±


    ¡°You get test tubes and a holding rack for them.¡±


    The hazmag people got to it, and Rou very carefully took a pipette¡¯s worth of material from each of the four glowing containers. The Hydrogen Peroxide was soon provided, and Rou separated it out into four test tubes. From there she added the pipette of glowing material to each test tube, then a bit of nitric acid and Ammonium Molybdate.


    Tubes one and three immediately turned bright yellow.


    Rou stood up straight. ¡°Right, these two jugs are Necrophosphate. Fortunately there is a very easy way to eliminate the threat it poses, though it does ruin the material for later use.¡±


    Without saying a word, Rou walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a box of baking soda. A few moments later a scoop of the powder was in each jug and the glow had vanished, though they were now fizzing quite significantly.


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    ¡°That means jugs two and four contain either Gampson¡¯s Elixir or dissolved Auburnite. Unfortunately, distinguishing between the two of them is rather tricky; they have very similar molecular structures. Fortunately we have a good four hours to do it. We¡¯re going to need them, given what materials we have available.¡±


    As it turned out, Rou was entirely correct about needing four hours to test the contents of the remaining jugs. Two of those hours were spent very carefully synthesizing a peculiar color-changing dye with a name I hadn¡¯t the slightest hope of pronouncing. From there a bit of that dye was mixed with a tiny amount of the material from each jug.


    What I did understand was Rou telling me, ¡°Right, I need you to freeze each of these flasks. As cold as you can get them, please. If they¡¯re anywhere near room temperature when I add the acid we¡¯re all going to die, assuming either one is Auburnite.¡±


    I nodded solemnly, and did as she requested. Modern Synthesis handsigns for ice, a bit of power and crystallization rapidly shot through the contents of each flask.


    Rou nodded.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Then she added a drop of concentrated hydrochloric acid to each flask. The ice fizzled and sputtered and glowed at the point of contact in each flask, but there was a difference between the two of them. In the flask on the left the glow was deep blue, while in the flask on the right it was violently magenta.


    Rou stood up straight. ¡°Very glad I thought to label the flasks and bottles. Blue¡¯s Auburnite in jug two, magenta is Gampson¡¯s Elixir in jug four. The Auburnite¡¯s by far the bigger problem, so that¡¯s what we need to deal with first.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°So¡­ what makes Auburnite so problematic to dispose of?¡±


    Rou¡¯s expression had no humor whatsoever as she answered.


    ¡°It¡¯s easier to list what doesn¡¯t. Anyway, the absolute first thing we¡¯re going to need is iron shavings; once the iron¡¯s dissolved we can move on to the next thing. And it can¡¯t be steel shavings, the carbon would burn up and splatter the Auburnite solution all over the room. Wouldn¡¯t explode, but it would start producing massive amounts of toxic fumes.¡±


    As it turned out, getting the iron shavings proved to be rather troublesome. Ultimately it took a call to the NMCU for them to teleport the needed materials here at considerable expense. As it turned out, while I was busy arranging for the iron filings to be delivered Rou had been busily neutralizing the Gampson¡¯s Elixir.


    Looking at the apparatus she¡¯d lugged over to the jug, it seemed like Rou had opted to just suck the energy out of the elixir and vent it through the fume hood.


    Snapping out of it, I handed Rou the bag of iron filings, ¡°Iron filings! For the dissolved Auburnite!¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Adrian.¡±


    Iron filings acquired, Rou added them to the second flask. The glow color rapidly shifted to the same blue from the test, and the iron filings had apparently dissolved in their entirety.


    Rou noted, ¡°If I¡¯d done that with the Gampson¡¯s Elixir or necrophosphate it would have exploded immediately. Right, next step is to salt it out of solution. One of you run down to the cafeteria and get their big industrial-size tub of table salt.¡±


    It took two agonizing minutes of waiting before one of the hazmag personnel showed up with a massive cardboard canister of salt.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    With that, Rou put a funnel in the top of the jug and dumped in the entire container of salt. A dark reddish material started accumulating in the bottom of the jug even as the glow subsided, and Rou breathed out a sigh of relief.


    ¡°Right, that¡¯s safe enough to move now. Enough Auburnite has precipitated out of solution for it to not be so shock-sensitive. That said, we¡¯re not quite done yet; the salt only bought us couple hours. We need to boil off the solvent, and doing that on the desk is a no-go on account of the fumes. So haul that jug into fume hood number three!¡±


    The hazardous magic team was all too willing to accommodate Rou¡¯s request, and moments later the jug was on one of the heavy duty laboratory hot plates, bubbling away.


    As I watched the solvent level in the jug slowly decrease, I couldn¡¯t help think out loud.


    ¡°I¡¯m really glad you knew exactly what to do; that said I¡¯m rather surprised you know so much about dangerous alchemical reagents. Feels like there¡¯s a story there.¡±


    Rou shrugged.


    ¡°Not much of a story really; I study alchemical research documents in my spare time with a particular focus on dangerous materials. It¡¯s interesting reading, and I figured it would be useful knowledge if one of my students ever brewed up something nasty.¡±


    Looking at the jug of boiling Auburnite solution, I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if it would all boil off soon enough to be safe.


    ¡°Yeah it¡¯ll be fine. Look at the rate the level¡¯s going down; should be done in about forty minutes.¡±


    Apparently I¡¯d said that out loud.


    After a couple minutes of waiting around for something to happen, I asked, ¡°So¡­ crisis over? I can go?¡±


    Rou nodded.


    ¡°Yes. We¡¯ll have to get some people in for hazardous materials removal soon, but you can go.¡±


    So I turned and went, changing my radio to the security channel as I did so. I¡¯d just left the lab when my radio crackled to life, the security team¡¯s chatter evidently being quite active.


    ¡°The intruders are in the second floor corridor!¡±


    What. Then it clicked; the tainted reagents had been a distraction. And they had worked.


    I was already sprinting by the time I heard another security officer ask, ¡°Why hasn¡¯t that fancy new security system caught them already!?¡±


    ¡°The readout¡¯s giving some really strange results! Someone go check the crystal downstairs!¡±


    I¡¯d barely reached the latest reported location of the intruders when I heard Jethro¡¯s voice over the radio. ¡°The security system was sabotaged! Someone put this weird blanket thing over the crystal! Taking it off now!¡±


    So as I rounded the corner to see the intruders... I also got to see them suddenly snap to a halt as the immobilization fields flashed into action.


    There was a team of three men, dressed in what seemed to be budget tactical gear and with Mancia scrawled into their foreheads. Thralls.


    The school¡¯s security staff was already gathered around the intruders, along with the referred officers from the NMCU.


    I recognized Amelia among the security officers as she asked, ¡°Well, what now?¡±


    Figuring that taking command at the moment was appropriate, I answered.


    ¡°There are several questions we need answered. What were these thralls sent to do? Who sent them? Can the damage to their minds be repaired? And most importantly¡­ Who sabotaged the security system?¡±


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 Those Meddling Kids

    A couple weeks prior to the near-disaster in the alchemy lab, Ford Carpenter had found himself at something of a loss. That new headmaster was definitely up to something nasty, every adult who told him what to do was. But he just couldn¡¯t figure out what Adrian¡¯s scheme was.


    At least Humbernot had been blatant with his awfulness, this guy put so much effort into appearing incorruptible that even Sarah and David had bought into it and stopped hanging out with him.


    Making it even worse, that teleportation curse Adrian put on him was still active, so he couldn¡¯t even go around protecting people from bullies¡­ not that there were all that many of those still active.


    Something about that last fact stuck out to Ford as rather implausible. Bullies didn¡¯t just stop bullying people all of a sudden, there were some he¡¯d beaten the snot out of fifty times without them getting the message.


    Still, winter break was winter break. So Ford figured he might as well take advantage of that. Snowshoeing always did wonders to clear his head, and the wildlife had long since learned to avoid him if it didn¡¯t want to get exploded.


    So Ford got his snowshoes on, and trekked out into the woods. The trees were tall and numerous, and Ford wasn¡¯t anywhere near one of the trails. But that was just how he liked it; these woods were like an old companion to him, and he knew how to get where he wanted to go.


    After about three hours of trekking through snow-carpeted forest, Ford¡¯s mood still hadn¡¯t improved. But he had found something rather unexpected: a campsite. The tent looked to be a rugged design, intended to keep the occupants warm and safe even in a truly dire storm. A short distance away from the tent, a man was roasting a sausage over a camp stove.


    No smoke; must have been one of the fancier models.


    After a few minutes of trying to decide what to do, Ford figured he might as well walk up and introduce himself to the person in question.


    The square-jawed man looked up from his sausage as Ford approached, his hand hovering over his pocket as if to quickly retrieve an item should it be needed.


    There were a good twelve seconds of silence between the two of them, before Ford introduced himself.


    ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Ford Carpenter, a student over at Red Point. Who¡¯re you?¡±


    The man seemed to be sizing him up, sending prickles down Ford¡¯s spine. But after a while, he replied.


    ¡°You can call me Mister Valley. Now, what brings you out this far into the woods? We¡¯re a good six miles from your school.¡±


    ¡°Trying to figure out what to do about the new Headmaster. He¡¯s up to something nasty, he has to be. But no matter how hard I look I can¡¯t find it and no-one will believe me!¡±


    The prickling danger sensation faded. Mister Valley smiled.


    ¡°Ah, I think I might be able to help with that. I¡¯ll get out one of my spare chairs and a sausage for you, and you can tell me all about it.¡±


    As promised, a camp chair and a sausage on a stick were quickly provided.


    ¡°Just for your information Ford, that sausage isn¡¯t pre-cooked. You¡¯ll need to have it roasting over the stove for quite a while to make it safe to eat.¡±


    Ford nodded his agreement, sat on the chair, and started cooking the sausage.


    ¡°So¡­ what exactly have you seen going on at Red Point as of late?¡±


    ¡°For about two months Adrian¡¯s been cooped up in one of the workshops. He¡¯s making some sort of devices and everyone thinks they¡¯re part of some new security system to keep the school safe but that can¡¯t be right. He¡¯s in charge, and people who are in charge are never looking out for the people they¡¯re in charge of. That¡¯s just not how the world works.¡±


    Mr. Valley thought for a moment ¡°Those aren¡¯t contradictory. A system to provide security for the headmaster is still a security system, even if it does something troublesome for everyone else in the school.¡±


    Ford nodded hesitantly ¡°Like a mind control machine or something? That would explain why no-one believes me, if they¡¯re all being brainwashed.¡±


    A bite from his sausage before Mr. Valley spoke again.


    ¡°That¡¯s one of the more likely possibilities, though it¡¯s certainly not the only one. Anything else going on with regards to that new security system?¡±


    Ford thought for a moment ¡°Yeah they¡¯ve been putting cameras up all over the school. They want to know where everyone is at all times and it¡¯s really really creepy.¡±


    The conversation went on for a solid hour or so, Mister Valley continuing to stoke Ford¡¯s many and varied conspiracy theories while pumping him for information about the security system. Then he asked


    ¡°By the way, how did you like that sausage, Ford?¡±


    Ford finished his last bite of the sweet, spicy, garlicky sausage. ¡°It was nice.¡±


    ¡°I think you¡¯d better get back; if you¡¯re out much longer someone there will get worried about you and send a search party. Also I don¡¯t have room in my tent for you.¡±


    Ford stood up as he returned the skewer.


    ¡°It was nice meeting you Mister Valley! Mind if I come talk to you again sometime?¡±


    ¡°Certainly! I look forward to your next visit. I camp here regularly, so this same spot will work well.¡±


    And off Ford went, back to Red Point Magic Academy. He had dinner, brushed his teeth, read part of a book, then went to bed. The very next day it was off to go snowshoeing again, and sure enough Mr. Valley was there waiting for him at the campsite.


    ¡°You came back, I see.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re the first person who¡¯s ever believed me when I told them about something bad happening.¡±


    Mr. Valley nodded.


    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s truly shameful how many adults refuse to believe children trying to bring a problem to their attention. Anyway, I do have some ideas about dealing with your problem.¡±


    As Ford sat down and got his sausage cooking, he asked ¡°You have some ideas for dealing with the mind control machine?¡±


    ¡°So, fundamentally that system needs some sort of central command location in order to function properly. If you get there, you can disable it.¡±


    ¡°Ah, so I go looking around for anything that looks like weird magical machinery and smash it up?¡±


    Mr. Valley got out a map of Red Point.


    ¡°That¡¯s not likely to work. First of all, there¡¯s no guarantee you actually destroy the correct piece of equipment, and a failed attempt will definitely end badly for you. In addition, the system going down in such a manner will immediately put Mr. Adley and his goons on high alert. No, some scouting ahead of time will be necessary.¡±


    Ford raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°Then how am I going to find the control nexus?¡±


    Mr. Valley answered ¡°I have some ideas, but I need another couple days to get the device working. Come back then, and I¡¯ll have something ready for you.¡±


    Ford wasn¡¯t exactly pleased about this, but also trusted Mr. Valley. So back to Red Point he went, waiting for the next time he could meet the first adult who ever believed him.


    Sure enough, in two days time Ford went back to the campsite. Mr. Valley was there, waiting for him.


    ¡°Ah, nice to see you again Ford. I¡¯ve got a sausage waiting for you.¡±


    Ford smiled as he sat down across from Mr. Valley. ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you too.¡±


    The conversation went on for about half an hour, before the topic inevitably drifted back to the matter of the Red Point security system.


    ¡°So¡­ how exactly am I supposed to figure out where the mind control system nexus is?¡±


    Mr. Valley got out a small, cylindrical device.


    ¡°With this. It¡¯s designed to trace the information flows from the various parts of the mind control system; point, click, and it stores the knowledge. Bring back information on enough components of the system, and I¡¯ll be able to figure out where the control nexus is.¡±


    Ford accepted the item from Mr. Valley, turning it over in his hands and exploring every part of its brushed metal surface.


    ¡°This thing is really neat. The narrow white end is what I point at stuff, right?¡±


    Mr. Valley nodded. ¡°Yes, that¡¯s correct. Please be very careful about where and when you use it; if at all possible keep it in your pocket when you press the button. I don¡¯t know what they¡¯ll do to you if they find you using that to spy on them.¡±


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    ¡°Right, be careful and sneaky, got it.¡±


    There was a bit of practice on using the device, then Mr. Valley sent Ford back to Red Point. The next planned meeting was in four days, and during that time Ford needed to log as much data on the mind control machine as possible.


    The next day, Ford was looking for parts of the security system with a laser-focused gaze. There were cameras everywhere, and he was certain any security guard who saw what he was doing would immediately do something horrible to him.


    Click, click, click, went Mr. Valley¡¯s logging device as Ford spied.


    At lunch the next day, Sarah actually bothered to talk to him again for the first time in a week.


    ¡°Ford, are you alright? You¡¯ve been acting really weird lately.¡±


    Ford swallowed his current mouthful of food. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°...You¡¯ve been stalking the halls at all hours of the day, and not even looking for bullies. You¡¯ve been avoiding the security team and...¡±


    That¡¯s all Ford needed to hear: they¡¯d got Sarah and brainwashed her. He absolutely needed to bring down that mind control machine sooner rather than later.


    Three more days of scouting and logging the data on the security system passed, then it was back out into the forest to see Mr. Valley.


    Ford was halfway there when he realized he was being followed. Turning around, he spotted a peek of Sarah hiding behind a tree. Possibilities whirled through his mind. If he introduced Sarah to Mr. Valley, she might ruin everything. If he scared her off she¡¯d definitely report it to the security team. Telling her to go away wouldn¡¯t work.


    So¡­ ¡°Sarah, why are you following me?¡±


    She stepped out from behind the tree, ¡°I¡¯m worried abou-¡±


    Then the stunner hit her. Ford trekked over to where she¡¯d fallen, used that muscle-enhancer charm he¡¯d got from David, and hauled her over his shoulder.


    Upon seeing Ford arriving with Sarah in tow, Mr. Valley¡¯s jaw dropped for just a moment, before he regained his composure.


    ¡°Ford, who is this?¡±


    ¡°This is Sarah, one of my friends from school. She¡¯s been brainwashed and I need you to fix her.¡±


    Thoughts were clearly racing through Mr. Valley¡¯s head for a good five seconds, then he nodded. ¡°Right, I¡¯ll get on with that in my tent. In the meantime, you can roast up your sausage.¡±


    Roughly an hour passed, before Sarah and Mr. Valley exited the tent. There was still ink on her forehead from Mancia script, but it seemed to have been partially erased with an alcohol wipe or something.


    Ford asked, ¡°Sarah, are you alright?¡±


    His friend nodded.


    ¡°Yes. Mr. Valley looked in my mind and undid what Adrian did to me. I¡­ I¡¯m thinking more clearly than I have in months.¡±


    If Ford had been paying attention that would have sounded somewhat forced to him, but he was too busy being overjoyed.


    Ford looked to Mr. Valley.


    ¡°Thank you so much for saving my friend. Here¡¯s the logging device, I managed to get lots of information on the brainwashing machine.¡±


    Mr. Valley accepted the tool.


    ¡°Thank you so much for this, Ford. I¡¯ll be able to make excellent use of this information to sabotage the mind control machine.¡±


    ¡°When should I come see you again?¡±


    Mr. Valley thought for a moment. ¡°The last day of winter break. It will take me some time to go through all the information and determine an appropriate countermeasure for the mind control machine¡¯s nexus, along with its location. I¡¯ll see you then.¡±


    Ford and Sarah nodded.


    ¡°Got it, we¡¯ll be back to see you again then.¡±


    Then the two of them hiked back to Red Point. When they arrived it was just in time for supper; mashed potatoes, sausage, and baked beans.


    A bit more than a week passed, as Ford and Sarah started hanging out together again. David seemed a bit uneasy, but ultimately joined in again too.


    It was just like old times. Still, Mr. Valley was a secret, so they didn¡¯t bring David with them when they went to see him.


    After hours of hiking through the snow, it was a relief to feel the warmth of his camp stove and


    ¡°Ah, welcome back you two. I have excellent news about the mind control machine at Red Point.¡±


    Ford perked up immediately, ¡°Have you located its nexus?¡±


    Mr. Valley smiled, ¡°Not only that, but I was able to determine exactly what type of device they¡¯re using, along with a way to sabotage it.¡±


    Ford tilted his head slightly ¡°Huh? Just go in there and blow it up. It¡¯s not all that complicated.¡±


    That¡¯s when Sarah interjected, ¡°If you do that, Adrian will know something is wrong immediately. Breaking the brainwashing on people takes time you won¡¯t have if you do that.¡±


    Mr. Valley gestured to the little girl, ¡°She¡¯s right.¡±


    Thoughts whirled through Ford¡¯s head. After a few moments, he asked


    ¡°Well, how do we sabotage the mind control machine then?¡±


    Mr. Valley got out a dark blue blanket, carefully embroidered with stitched-on Mancia script.


    ¡°With this. The control crystal for the machine is in the boiler room on the basement level. That blanket will interfere with its signals, preventing the system from functioning properly while also not alerting the security team. For best effect, you should apply it bright and early tomorrow morning.¡±


    Ford and Sarah both nodded seriously as they accepted the blanket.


    ¡°Understood, Mr. Valley. We¡¯ll do it.¡±


    The two children hung around at camp for the next forty minutes or so, enjoying the obligatory sausage.


    Still, it was eventually time to leave. As the two children stood up to begin the hike back to Red Point, Ford said


    ¡°Thank you for everything Mr. Valley. You¡¯re the first person who¡¯s ever believed me and it¡¯s helped a lot having someone to talk to about it.¡±


    Sarah also contributed


    ¡°And thank you for freeing me from Adrian¡¯s mind control.¡±


    And so the two of them turned away and began snowshoeing back towards Red Point.


    As they went, Lord Vallium answered


    ¡°It¡¯s been wonderful talking to you!¡±


    As soon as his pawns were out of sight, Vallium started packing up his camp site. It had served its purpose, no matter how unexpected that purpose had been.


    When Ford and Sarah both got back to Red Point, the absolute first thing they did was hide the blanket. Wouldn¡¯t do to get found with it.


    Now it was a matter of finding a way into the basement that wouldn¡¯t get them caught. All four staircases went to that level, but the tricky bit was avoiding detection while gaining access.


    The northeast staircase was right out; there were cameras there that would immediately reveal his presence. The northwest staircase had a similar problem. While the southeast staircase didn¡¯t have a camera pointing at the basement door, said door also turned out to be locked in a manner Ford couldn¡¯t open.


    But the southwest staircase didn¡¯t have any cameras below the first floor landing. On top of that, the door¡¯s lock seemed to have broken at some point and not yet been repaired.


    Scouting done, Ford went to bed.


    The next morning Sarah came over to talk to him, with the blanket tucked under her arm.


    ¡°So, are you ready Ford?¡±


    Ford nodded as he accepted the blanket. ¡°Yes. Come on let¡¯s go, we¡¯ve got a mind control machine to sabotage.¡±


    Sarah nodded as if to agree, then her face scrunched up like she was in pain.


    ¡°Sorry but I have to go to the bathroom right now!¡±


    Immediately she dashed off. Ford stood there confused for a moment. He¡¯d wanted to do this together with Sarah, but his partner wouldn¡¯t be available for quite a while. And he was holding an incredibly suspicious blanket in clear view of everyone.


    Figuring he had no other option, Ford trotted down the southeast staircase and opened the basement door.


    Thinking back to what Mr. Valley had told him, he needed to find the boiler room in order to put a stop to the machine, but he also didn¡¯t know his way around the basement all that well. So it took a few minutes of wandering around to find the correct door.


    Still, he found the boiler room. Upon entering, the massive boiler that heated the school was immediately apparent, but that wasn¡¯t what Ford was here for. No, he was here to find the control nexus.


    Ford turned to the left, and there it was. A cylindrical somewhat cloudy crystal, firmly clamped inside a metallic stand and plugged into a power socket.


    ¡°I¡¯d honestly expected this to look more impressive somehow. It¡¯s not even glowing or weirdly shaped.¡±


    Disappointed or not, Ford tossed the blanket over the crystal. The slight hum in the school¡¯s air he¡¯d been feeling for months changed subtly, as the machine¡¯s functions were disrupted.


    Mission accomplished, Ford left the basement and went to go get breakfast with a triumphant smile on his face. He¡¯d done it, the mind control machine was no longer functioning properly.


    Sarah was there at the cafeteria table waiting for him, and they both made eye contact as he sat down. She knew he¡¯d gotten it done.


    ¡°So now what do we do?¡±


    Sarah thought for a bit.


    ¡°We just wait for a bit, I think. The mind control should come undone in about twelve hours, if nothing goes wrong.¡±


    Ford nodded, and started digging into his pile of waffles with considerable enthusiasm.


    It took about four hours for everything to start going wrong. The first sign of trouble was the teams of people dashing back and forth from the Alchemy lab, something about needing to defuse a bomb, apparently? Then three hours later a team of armed goons invaded the school. They were running around for a good twenty minutes before they were eventually caught.


    Ford was getting really nervous by the afternoon. The events of the day had been utterly bizarre, and no-one seemed to be snapping out of it. He was strongly considering going back to the campsite, when he noticed the two NMCU officers assigned to the school approaching him in full combat armor.


    Ford tried to run, obviously. He didn¡¯t get very far before he was unceremoniously blasted with a stunner. The next thing he knew he was sitting handcuffed at the train station, a NMCU aircraft descending to pick him up.


    For some reason he heard Adrian¡¯s voice nearby.


    ¡°Look, if you send him to prison he¡¯s never going to get out of that toxic mindset! He¡¯s not to blame!¡±


    One of the NMCU officers replied, ¡°Even aside from this being outside your remit to decide, do you honestly want to keep him here after the sabotage he performed?¡±


    Adrian stepped into view as he answered, ¡°No! But prison wouldn¡¯t be any good for him either! Send him to a mental hospital!¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll take it under advisement.¡±


    Then the flying machine touched down. The doors opened, and Ford found himself frog-marched aboard.


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 On The Trail

    We¡¯d barely started on assessing the team of thralls when someone asked,¡°Should we get Demouls for this? He¡¯s one of the best Mancia experts we have on hand, and I really don¡¯t want to risk this interrogation going wrong.¡±


    I thought for a moment. There was a brief internal debate as we considered the pros and cons of each option. Then we reached for our radio.


    ¡°Lawrence Demouls, please come to the second floor corridor. There is a situation requiring your assistance.¡±


    ¡°Understood. I¡¯ll be there in two minutes.¡±


    Sure enough, Demouls arrived roughly two minutes later. Upon seeing the trio of armed thralls, he nodded.


    ¡°I can see now why you asked for me to come here. So, you want me to figure out what their orders were?¡±


    Anise ¨C one of the security officers ¨C nodded.


    ¡°Yes. If there¡¯s anything intact of who they were to restore, that would be good too.¡±


    The Archmage nodded, and immediately got to writing an interface to read what was in the thralls¡¯ brains. After about half an hour, he reported


    ¡°So. There¡¯s nothing left of who these people were, unfortunately. That said, I can definitely confirm that they were sent by Lord Vallium; they were supposed to grab Blue and tag them with a teleport beacon.¡±


    I asked, ¡°So what now?¡±


    Demouls¡¯ expression promised death, though not to me.


    ¡°Simple. I take their teleport beacon, use it to slash open a portal to Vallium¡¯s base, and take my revenge.¡±


    Once again, Demouls was suddenly always holding a sword. As he reached for the lead thrall¡¯s belt, I interjected


    ¡°Demouls, I¡¯m coming too. You¡¯re not the only archmage Vallium¡¯s hurt that way. Also you might need the backup.¡±


    He nodded.


    ¡°Be my guest Adrian.¡±


    With that, he took out the rectangular device and tossed it into the air. His blade snapped right through it, and suddenly there was a door in the air leading to what seemed to be a dilapidated seaside fortress.


    We stepped through into what seemed to be a storeroom. There was a teleportation pad here, fitted with a massive tank of energized base potion for fuel.


    Demouls nodded. ¡°This is the place, without a doubt. Come on, we need to search the place. Unless those fancy glasses of yours can spot him through the walls anyway.¡±


    As we entered the corridor I answered ¡°That¡¯s not how they work. Though if he¡¯s doing magic...¡±


    I set my glasses to power-trace mode. Immediately the castle lit up with energy conduits going every which way. I recognized what was clearly a kitchen, among a few other amenities such as the lights all through the building. But what really caught my interest was a large accumulation of energy in a bunch of devices all gathered together two floors up.


    ¡°I think I know where the command room is. Two floors up, slightly ahead of us.¡±


    Demouls nodded in acknowledgement. Then he slashed open a portal leading directly to¡­ a laboratory full of torture devices, including several types of rather painful mind reading machine.


    ¡°Adrian, this is not the command room. That said, I do believe investigating here to be worthwhile.¡±


    Demouls started digging through the various torture machines for useful information, but something seemed off. After a few moments I finally managed to put my finger on it.


    ¡°Demouls, if this is Vallium¡¯s headquarters¡­ where is everyone?¡±


    Demouls looked up from what they were doing.


    ¡°You know, that¡¯s an excellent point. We haven¡¯t seen a single person since getting here, which is rather suspicious. The only reason for evacuating all personnel from here would be if Vallium knew we were coming¡­¡±


    We locked gazes for just a moment. This was a trap.


    ¡°Adrian can your glasses detect any large static concentrations of energy around? There¡¯s likely to be a bomb here.¡±


    I nodded, and began scanning.


    ¡°There¡¯s the fuel tank for the teleporter pad, what seems to be main energy storage for the building, and¡­ right down the hallway, there¡¯s a vortex of energy building on itself.¡±


    Demouls nodded, and we both began dashing down the hallway. We quickly arrived at the door in question, and I noted ¡°This is the room.¡±


    Demouls thought for a moment ¡°If I were Vallium in this position I¡¯d have booby trapped the door. So¡­¡±


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    He cut a portal into the room. What we saw through there was a massive barrel full of¡­ something or other being rapidly stirred by a motor. Atop it was an alarm clock hooked to some sort of detonator, along with a taut lanyard connected to the door. And there was only a second left on the clock.


    Demouls swore, ¡°SHIT!¡± and raised his sword.


    Then everything went very loud and bright.


    Eventually the dust cleared, and shockingly we weren¡¯t dead. Despite that, the castle was leveled and we both had severe injuries.


    I managed to turn to look at Demouls, ¡°Lawrence, how are we alive?¡±


    He coughed, before managing to answer.


    ¡°I parried the explosion.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°Can you cut a portal back to Red Point?¡±


    There were a few moments of silence, then Demouls shook his head. ¡°Both my arms are broken, and trying to wield a sword with my feet or teeth just doesn¡¯t work.¡±


    I tried to stand, only to find that my left leg was thoroughly broken. I couldn¡¯t help but howl in pain at the effort.


    Once I regained my composure, I looked around at the devastation. ¡°Unless the NMCU are already on their way here with an aircraft, I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll live long enough to be rescued. And if Vallium comes back right now he stands very good odds of capturing us.¡±


    Demouls nodded as he thought, ¡°We need a way to get back to Red Point. Is there anything you could do?¡±


    My other side spoke up ¡°We don¡¯t have any way to teleport us on our own, but if you had something to write on we could probably get your arms working long enough to make a portal.¡±


    ¡°Notebook and pen, left pocket.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    What followed was twenty agonizing seconds of hauling myself over to Demouls across the broken ground. Every movement I made was pure agony, my internals screaming in protest. Still, I managed to get over to where Demouls was lying.


    Digging through his pocket, I immediately noticed that it felt very wet. I wrapped my hands around the notebook and pen, pulling them loose. Immediately, my heart sank. The pen had ruptured, spraying ink all over the pages and rendering them nearly unusable.


    Still, there was just barely enough room to write a few sentences, if we were careful. Steeling ourselves, we bit down on our right index finger until we tasted blood. In a desperate careful hand, my other side wrote out:


    ¡°I hereby authorize Lawrence Demouls¡¯ arms to work for the purposes of swordswmanship for the next two minutes. Signed Adrian Adley.¡±


    Reality shuddered as Demouls screamed in pain. Still, he wielded the blade. With a single cut, he opened a rift directly to the infirmary at Red Point.


    On the other side of the portal, Franz startled but didn¡¯t immediately move to pick us up.


    ¡°Adrian, Demouls, will the portal stay open?¡±


    Demouls answered


    ¡°For thirty seconds, I can¡¯t hold it longer than that!¡±


    Franz nodded and immediately started hauling Demouls through, even as he howled in pain. As for me, I resumed dragging myself towards safety, even as my body protested with every single signal it could possibly send.


    I didn¡¯t get very far before Franz had already hauled Demouls through, and proceeded to start dragging me back. I couldn¡¯t help scream in agony as I was roughly dragged through, and despite his best efforts Franz didn¡¯t quite get me through before the portal snapped shut. Oh¡­ oh that¡¯s a lot of my blood coming out¡­


    The next thing I knew I was on a hard table, feeling suspiciously alright. Franz was currently standing over me in full surgical attire.


    He blinked.


    ¡°Hmm, didn¡¯t quite use enough anesthetic. You probably don¡¯t want to be awake for this next part¡­¡±


    I went under again.


    When I woke up I was in one of the infirmary beds. Looking around, I noticed Demouls to my left, currently unconscious. As for Franz, he walked over to me with his face scrunched up in a frown.


    ¡°So. The good news is that you¡¯ll make a full recovery. The bad news is that I had to replace about half of your internal organs and both your legs from the knee down. Your left arm is still broken, though it should be properly healed in a couple months.¡±


    His expression shifted to one of sadness.


    ¡°Adrian, what you and Demouls did was reckless, incredibly so. It¡¯s one thing to risk your life protecting the school from a threat that¡¯s already here. It¡¯s another matter entirely to go chasing after a terrorist to who knows where. We need you here, keeping the school running. And the fact of the matter is you¡¯re one of my very few friends.¡±


    I tried to sit up, only to find that I simply couldn¡¯t muster up the strength to overcome gravity.


    ¡°Ah, I forgot to mention. I was able to keep you from bleeding out, but I¡¯d have stretched my blood supplies to an unacceptably thin margin if I simply refilled your circulatory system. You are currently severely anemic; you should recover fully over the next few days with proper feeding. I¡¯ll need to put in an IV to feed you in a bit; you¡¯re in no state for solid food at the moment.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for running off like that Franz. You¡¯re right, I acted rashly.¡±


    Franz nodded sadly.


    ¡°I can¡¯t really blame you; in your shoes I¡¯d have probably done something similar. But please promise me you won¡¯t ever do something that reckless again.¡±


    I could barely muster a nod


    ¡°I promise not to go charging off like that again.¡±


    There was a pause. Then I asked


    ¡°How¡¯s Demouls?¡±


    Franz sighed, ¡°He was three minutes away from death when he got to the infirmary. He¡¯ll make a full recovery; I accept nothing less. But he was messed up even worse than you were. Frankly it¡¯s amazing he was coherent enough to open that portal with how badly concussed he was; I dare not wake him up for at least a week, not until I¡¯ve fully repaired his brain.¡±


    The image of Franz opening up Demouls¡¯ skull and carefully rewiring neurons flashed through my mind as I processed what he¡¯d just said. I probably wasn¡¯t too far off, admittedly.


    ...It only now occurred to me just how tired I felt.


    ¡°Ah. Can I go back to sleep now?¡±


    Franz nodded, ¡°Yes. You need your rest. I¡¯ll make sure the IV going in doesn¡¯t disturb you enough to wake you up again.¡±


    I quickly drifted off back to sleep.


    When I woke up again I felt much, much better. Looking at the calendar on the wall a good four days had passed since the incident which landed me here. There was still a needle in my right arm connected to a bag of something or other, and my left was encased in a cast. Being very careful not to mess with the IV, I hauled myself upright.


    Franz immediately noticed that I¡¯d woken up of course.


    ¡°Ah, glad you¡¯re awake Adrian.¡±


    ¡°Am I clear for solid food?¡±


    He shook his head, ¡°No. Not yet. Your new digestive system isn¡¯t quite ready for solids yet. That said, we can get you started on liquids today.¡±


    ¡°So the IV can come out?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Minutes later I was walking under my own power for the first time in days. Walking to my office, I opened the door to see a massive stack of paperwork on top of my desk. Right, let¡¯s start clearing out that backlog before it gets any worse.


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 Final Assessments

    Six months after I first arrived at Red Point, the woman I¡¯d talked to on the train to get here returned. It was time for my performance review. While I knew Reese was going to come, I¡¯d been explicitly told not to talk to her until she came to meet me in my office. It could be seem as trying to tamper with the results anyway.


    So I simply tried to go about my day as normal, stewing in anxiety the whole time. I¡¯d gotten around to lunch when Jethro evidently noticed my stress levels, and beckoned me to come sit down across from him at one of the staff tables.


    As I set down my steaming hot plate of mashed potatoes, caramelized onions and sauteed chicken chunks, I asked,


    ¡°So¡­ why did you wave me over?¡±


    As Jethro answered, I noticed Franz sitting down to my left.


    ¡°You seem really stressed out today, Adrian. Want to talk about it?¡±


    Briefly meeting Franz¡¯ gaze, I answered,


    ¡°It¡¯s my six month performance review as headmaster, and I¡¯m worried that I haven¡¯t done a good enough job.¡±


    Jethro shook his head and smiled.


    ¡°Adrian, six months ago this school was a dump. Worse than that, it was rapidly falling apart and teetering on the edge of a magical gang war between the students. Yeah it¡¯s been bumpy and I lost some very good friends, but in half a year you¡¯ve completely turned the school around.¡±


    Franz also reassured me.


    ¡°Injury rates are roughly a twentieth what they were before you got here. Even factoring in the new security system, the way you¡¯ve shaken up Red Point has made it a much healthier environment for the students. Thank you.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but tear up a bit, even as I ate a spoonful of my lunch.


    ¡°That helps a lot, thank you both.¡±


    I felt Franz¡¯ hand on my shoulder.


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome, Adrian.¡±


    Shortly after eating, I made my way back to my office. Despite the reassurances of Jethro and Franz, I was still incredibly nervous about whether I would pass review.


    Eventually, Reese arrived in the office, her fluffy tail swishing behind her as she entered.


    ¡°So¡­ am I keeping my job?¡±


    As she sat down, she replied


    ¡°That remains to be seen. I am required to interview you, and there are a few questionable matters I wish to inquire about.¡±


    My thoughts whirled with what exactly those ¡°questionable matters¡± might be.


    ¡°For the recording, please state your name, age, and current occupation.¡±


    ¡°Adrian Adley, thirty seven, headmaster of Red Point Magic Academy.¡±


    Reese wrote that down in her clipboard.


    ¡°Do you consent to Mancia truthfulness verification for the remainder of this interview?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    She turned a dial on a device clipped to her belt, before continuing.


    ¡°Have you ever at any time had inappropriate contact with the children?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    The device on Reese¡¯s hip blinked a green light and flashed once.


    ¡°Student testimony indicates that prior to your arrival there was a significant bullying problem at this school. How did you address it?¡±


    ¡°The pre-existing security team was fired and replaced with personnel willing to sign a magically binding contract. Said contract includes clauses requiring the serious investigation of bullying incidents. In addition, confirmed bullies were put through mandatory counseling. The addition of the security system was also a major factor in nearly eliminating bullying.¡±


    Reese took a moment to write that down. Then she continued,


    ¡°Educational attainment requirements for schools such as this are that ninety percent of graduating students must be capable of acting in a civically responsible manner without excessive supervision. As of the last graduation period, only sixty seven percent met that requirement. How do you account for the shortfall?¡±


    Ah. This one was going to be quite tricky to answer.


    ¡°I¡¯ve only had six months to turn this school around; most of the students currently hitting graduation age have been here for years and thus were undermined by years of neglect. In addition, many of the needed staffing changes were heavily delayed by the security upgrades required to deal with the terrorist attacking the school. This is the best I could have reasonably done with the hand I was dealt.¡±


    Green light, one beep.


    Reese noted that down as the interview continued. That said, her expression clearly communicated that she was required to ask this next question, but didn¡¯t fully agree with it.


    ¡°With regards to the security upgrades, how necessary were they exactly? By all accounts the most recent intrusion was being handled reasonably well prior to its reactivation.¡±


    Fortunately, I had an answer for this all ready to go.


    ¡°The most recent intruders weren¡¯t a supersonic vampire that a maniac fed sixty people to. In addition, there was significant risk of students being injured or kidnapped even with the actions of the security team. Now that guards have been posted in the boiler room, that sort of risk has been greatly reduced. Even aside from hostile intruders, the security system has dramatically cut down on the student injury rate and aided enforcement of anti-bullying measures.¡±


    The lie detector sent its truth signal again.


    Reese hummed for a bit, clicking her pen a few times as she thought.


    ¡°The most recent review of the cafeteria shows significant use of produce grown on-site. Have they been properly tested for nutritional content and food safety?¡±


    I quickly retrieved the records from the filing cabinet, and showed the forms for the test results of the fruits and vegetables to Reese.


    ¡°All produce varieties have been tested; they¡¯re clean of pathogens and highly nutritious.¡±


    Reese looked through the documentation for a few minutes. Eventually she nodded in approval, apparently satisfied.


    The questions continued for about an hour. Then Reese put away her folder full of newly-written documents and got out a second one.


    ¡°That concludes part one of the interview. That said, the entity known as the Budget must be discussed. The fact of the matter is you have a dangerous magical entity in the basement handling finance.¡±


    Ah. Them.


    ¡°The Budget is an employee of the school; they have performed their role with impeccable professionalism, and saved my life during the vampire attack.¡±


    Reese hummed


    ¡°Be that as it may, the fact is it still killed two innocent people.¡±


    ¡°That was before the Budget gained consciousness, they can¡¯t be held responsible for things that happened before they fully existed as a person.¡±


    By Reese¡¯s expression, she seemed unconvinced.


    ¡°Well then, if you¡¯re so adamant the Budget is a person, it would only be fair for it to self-advocate.¡±


    With that she clapped her folder shut and filed her paperwork away in the briefcase, standing up as she did so.


    ¡°Headmaster Adley, please escort me to the accounting office. I do believe that is where the entity resides, correct?¡±


    ¡°Correct.¡±


    A few minutes later, we were at the Budget¡¯s office.


    Hello misters Adley, miss Scarlet.


    Looking at Reese staring across the threshold, I could tell she was struggling to remain professional.


    ¡°I take it you are the Budget?¡±


    Correct. I handle the school¡¯s finances. Would you like to peruse the financial records?


    ¡°That is not why I¡¯m here. I am here because there are concerns about the safety of having you in the same building as children.¡±


    I have no interest in killing people. Replacing them is too expensive. The costs involved in medical oversight of pregnancy, childbirth, childcare and education mean that it outweighs any possible gain from killing.


    Reese stood silently for a moment as she tried to digest that. Evidently it wasn¡¯t the answer she had expected. Eventually, she followed it up with another question.


    ¡°Budget, is there any significant risk of you accidentally subsuming someone?¡±


    I am a sessile organism; I am therefore unlikely to round the corner and bump into someone without warning. My position and hazard are known to all relevant personnel, as are the appropriate safety protocols for working with me. The students are the only group not thoroughly briefed on how to safely interact with me, and they are not permitted to enter the basement.


    In summary, the probability of accidents is extremely low.


    That said, entering my office without a hazardous magic suit is still ill-advised. Psychological damage is likely even with me actively suppressing my functionality.


    Reese stood absolutely still for a good three seconds, the Budget¡¯s straightforward factual bluntness apparently catching her off-guard.


    ¡°Budget, are you being absolutely truthful there? I warn you, if you aren¡¯t it could carry severe consequences.¡±


    I have no reason or motivation to lie. It is true that I am dangerous as a consequence of my nature. Despite that, I have been scrupulously law-abiding since attaining consciousness.


    Reese sighed, the disgust evident on her face. ¡°The education department wants you destroyed, claiming that you¡¯re a threat to the students and staff of the school. Give me a reason I shouldn¡¯t let them do it.¡±


    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    The education department has no legal avenues to pursue this course of action.


    Reese and I both blinked.


    ¡°What.¡±


    I filed my citizenship paperwork four months ago. It was approved on the winter solstice. Attacking me in any context other than self-defense would be a crime, and I would immediately contact the school¡¯s on-site officers. In addition, forcing termination of my employment would be in violation of fourteen separate anti-discrimination laws.


    Before anyone else could speak, several documents floated to the desk the Budget used to work with other people.


    These are notarized copies of the relevant forms and certificates. I will retain the originals for as long as I exist.


    Your move.


    Reese spent approximately twenty minutes reading the Budget¡¯s citizenship documentation, and I couldn¡¯t help but be curious myself. Looking over it, everything seemed to be fully legitimate. Reese still didn¡¯t seem quite convinced, however.


    ¡°This has to be some sort of trick. How could you even contact the relevant offices?¡±


    I have a fax machine.


    Indeed, there was a fax machine in the accounting office. It was even hooked up to the outside world with its own extension number and everything. As we spoke an invoice for something or other printed out of it and was swiftly examined.


    Funding shortfall of three Ren for cafeteria ingredients. Allocating from the discretionary fund.


    Reese¡¯s jaw dropped in flabbergasted anger.


    ¡°You¡­ you really don¡¯t care about what I¡¯m asking do you?¡±


    I do not. I live for finance, and have taken action to ensure I can keep doing it. Now please leave; you are most annoying.


    Reese huffed ¡°This is ridiculous, I¡¯m going to ask the NMCU officers on site to come down here and look into this.¡±


    They already know. Feel free to talk to them; they will corroborate my account.


    As Reese stormed off in a huff, I stayed by the Budget¡¯s office for a little bit longer. Once she was gone, I asked ¡°Just checking, that wasn¡¯t a bluff?¡±


    It was not. I am now legally a citizen of the Union; I intend to vote in next year¡¯s elections among other things.


    ¡°Got it. Thanks for all the help, Budget.¡±


    You¡¯re welcome, misters Adley.


    Later I saw Reese in the cafeteria around suppertime. I didn¡¯t talk with her, but she seemed slightly annoyed. Still, I wasn¡¯t worried.


    Jethro on the other hand was kind of worried.


    ¡°Adrian, Reese has been kind of annoyed since she went and talked to the Budget. Are you sure she won¡¯t deliberately mess up her report?¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡°The Education Department started using magically binding contracts for their auditors since the scandal with Humbernot hit the news. She¡¯s got no choice but to be totally honest and accurate about things. Can¡¯t try distorting things with some kind of technicality either; that contract is ironclad.¡±


    Jethro nodded slowly.


    ¡°I hope you¡¯re right Adrian, I really really do.¡±


    The conversation continued for a few more minutes, then gradually trailed off as we all turned our attention to eating supper.


    We didn¡¯t hear back about the results of the performance review for a bit more than a week, and it was really hard not to spend the entire time stewing in anxiety. Still, eventually the fax machine in my office started printing out the official verdict on my performance.


    Once it was done printing, I collected the document and got to reading.


    Department of Education


    Form 2024-B: Performance Review Return


    To Adrian Adley


    <u>Preface</u>


    This document contains the results of your six month performance review. Each category has both a numerical score and a section for commentary.


    <u>Category 1: Educational Attainment</u>


    Numerical Score: 7/10


    Commentary: Interviews with teaching staff indicate that all current personnel are highly competent and effective teachers of their subjects.


    However, the student body is still reluctant to open up to said teachers and make effective use of their services. Compounding this, the grades from the winter exams were notably below average.


    While the department understands that there is much lost ground to cover from the damage your predecessor did, procedure requires such deficiencies to be accounted for in the score.


    Good to know that the person who evaluated that report was actually capable of understanding context. That said, they were right about the low performance of the students in an academic sense. I¡¯d have to work on that more over the coming years.


    <u>Category 2: Student Discipline</u>


    Numerical Score: 8/10


    Examinations of disciplinary records indicate that the rate of bullying incidents has significantly decreased since you began your duties. That said, they still have not been fully eliminated.


    Aside from bullying concerns, students have been regularly documented performing magic without direct adult supervision, which is not approved of by the department due to accident risk. Extensive safety instruction reduces this risk significantly, but does not eliminate it.


    In summary the discipline of the student body is rated as sub-optimal, but satisfactory.


    Well that was a rather blunt assessment of the student body¡¯s situation. I couldn¡¯t really disagree with it, especially the note about unsupervised magic use. That said the fact of the matter was the students were going to use magic unsupervised unless we brainwashed the lot of them, and that was illegal. Best we could do was harm reduction.


    <u>Category 3: School Security</u>


    Numerical Score: 10/10


    In less than six months, the school has been the direct target of attacks by terrorists <u>twice</u>. The vampire attack alone would have normally taken no less than thirty highly trained vampire hunters to reliably defend against.


    Given the extreme danger the school was subjected to, the total lack of student fatalities from both attacks is nothing short of a miracle.


    Your other actions to ensure the security of the school have been deemed effective; both the replacement of the existing security team, and the addition of the security system has dramatically improved the safety of the school.


    Addendum: That said running off after terrorists isn¡¯t part of your duties, and is not encouraged.


    I couldn¡¯t help but shudder at the mention of the vampire attack. That day was utterly terrifying, and we came way too close to everyone dying. If not for the Budget, we would have absolutely been slaughtered. Worse, it was pure luck that I saw the vampire coming in time to stall it with that force field.


    ...That said, the bit about my near-death experience from Vallium¡¯s bomb was definitely deserved. Seriously, what was I thinking? Ah yes, I wanted to make sure Demouls didn¡¯t get themselves killed. Thanks for the commentary, other me.


    <u>Category 4: Facilities Upkeep</u>


    Numerical Score: 10/10


    While there are still some maintenance issues needing to be addressed, the fact is that Red Point Magic Academy would not have passed a building inspection when you began your duties. Under your leadership the state of the building has undergone drastic improvement. As of this assessment, Red Point is in the upper two thirds of schools in terms of physical condition.


    As such, your performance in this category is nothing short of exemplary.


    Nice to get some genuine well-deserved praise that wasn¡¯t tied to a traumatic event. Seriously, the state of the school when I first got here was utterly horrific. That wasn¡¯t even considering the utterly disgusting disaster area that was Humbernot¡¯s office. Even now I didn¡¯t want students in there; it had ended up as a storeroom for cleaning supplies.


    <u>Category 5: Working Environment</u>


    Numerical Score: 9/10


    Employment conditions are more than satisfactory. All staff have reasonable working hours, and working conditions are as safe as circumstances permit. All staff interviewed spoke highly of your management skills, especially when subject to truthfulness verification.


    There is only one issue, namely that pay is slightly lower than department regulation. As this discrepancy is due to loan payments for the installation of the security system, it has been determined that disciplinary action is not required. Loan payments will henceforth be handled by the Education Department, rather than the funding of Red Point Magic Academy itself.


    Huh, well that was quite nice of them. After all that wrangling to get the security system in the first place, it was nice that the department was footing the rest of the bill for it. Really hoped there wasn¡¯t some sort of catch attached.


    Overall Score: 8.8/10


    Being entirely blunt, it¡¯s amazing just how thoroughly you¡¯ve turned this school around in only six months. Your expected level of performance was far below what you¡¯ve proven capable of. In addition, you went far beyond what any reasonable person would have asked of you during the vampire attack. We eagerly await seeing what you do in subsequent years.


    Signed: Assessor Reinstar


    Having finished reading the document, I sat back in my office chair and thought for a bit. I was going to keep my job. While it had been hard at several points, I rather liked working here. It was certainly a lot more engaging than my previous job, and I¡¯d become very good friends with several of the staff members here.


    Speaking of them, I should probably go tell them about the results of the performance review.


    I made my way to the break room. When I got there, Jethro and Franz were both present along with Tim. Sitting down on one of the couches I announced,


    ¡°So, good news. I¡¯m keeping my job.¡±


    Franz smiled.


    ¡°That¡¯s wonderful! You¡¯ve done so much to turn this school around it would be a massive shame if they replaced you.¡±


    Jethro nodded in agreement.


    ¡°Yes, the last six months really haven¡¯t gone how I wanted¡­ but you can¡¯t really be blamed for that. If it weren¡¯t for you, it would have been so much worse.¡±


    I nodded sadly. We¡¯d all lost friends in the vampire attack. All except Tim Rust, apparently.


    ¡°Was it the-¡±


    Jethro, Franz and I answered simultaneously


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Jethro noted,


    ¡°I¡¯d really rather not be reminded of that day. I lost several good friends then.¡±


    I nodded solemnly, as Tim looked mortified.


    ¡°Sorry for bringing that up.¡±


    Jethro sighed.


    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it. No really, don¡¯t.¡±


    Franz opted to speak up, in an attempt to lighten the mood.


    ¡°In other news, another student came to me for help transitioning. Had her done up no problem in fairly short order.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but smile.


    ¡°That¡¯s great to hear, Franz.¡±


    I got up and retrieved a drink from the break room¡¯s refrigerator. Checking the label, it looked to be a carbonated Date-flavored milk drink. Neat. Unsealing the bottle and taking a sip, the wonderful creamy texture and flavor really helped take a load of stress off.


    Once I was done with my drink, I noticed Tim and Franz had left the break room. Jethro asked,


    ¡°What next?¡±


    I just sighed in contentment and flopped further back into the couch.


    ¡°Two hours of just sitting here and relaxing. After everything I¡¯ve been through these last six months I deserve it.¡±


    ¡°You know, I think I understand that. Was that drink any good? I¡¯ve never had it before.¡±


    ¡°It was excellent, you should try it.¡±


    The head custodian got himself a bottle of it from the fridge, sat back down, and took a sip. After a few moments to savor the taste, he remarked


    ¡°This is definitely good, but not really my favorite. I like my drinks more tart than this.¡±


    I shrugged ¡°No accounting for taste I suppose.¡±


    ¡°Bowling this weekend?¡±


    ¡°Sure thing Jethro. I¡¯ll see if Demouls and Rou are interested in going too.¡±


    There were a solid two minutes of companionable silence as we both took an opportunity to simply rest. Still, eventually I had to get up and go to the bathroom. When I got back, Jethro broke the silence with a simple question.


    ¡°So, think you¡¯re ready for next year?¡±


    Mulling it over with my other self a bit, we eventually answered,


    ¡°You know, I think I am.¡±


    ¨C FIN ¨C


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