《The journey》


 After a Fight

    Route 078


    I was driving home, there was a bit of rain and I had my radio on low.


    My girlfriend kicked me out after a fight, she was yelling at me due to something...


    I wasn''t paying attention.


    It was a new moon tonight somewhere behind the clouds and no one else was on the roads. it was too late for anyone sane to be out


    It was my fault I know it was, I''m not that bad I don''t think


    Just i don''t understand how to stop


    I know that''s a me issue¡­


    I really should just go to therapy like she keeps bugging me to do


    I don''t think I can handle losing her. She makes me so happy¡­ yet when the day unwinds and we are just quietly living


    I just can''t be what she deserves it feels like I lose control and cause so many different issues


    She did right in kicking me out i don''t deserve her at all


    I don''t deserve anything I have¡­


    The rain was starting to pick up going from a drizzle to a little worse


    My radio was playing some Lofi song or something at the lowest volume


    It was a nice night for something like this


    I pull off into some random parking lot and park the lot¡¯s lights are off and I turn off the headlights


    It was a beautiful night despite the rain you could still see some of the night sky


    And all the lights get turned off at night so I was able to see some stars


    I wish she were here with me


    She would love this dark and peaceful night not bitingly cold but still cool


    I just sit there


    The rain falling


    The radio playing some piano melody in the background


    And I just think


    She is truly the best thing to happen to me


    She helped me when I needed it


    Helping me out of an abusive relationship


    Helping me find a job


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    Listening to me rant about my favorite movies


    Making me feel loved


    Until I couldn''t contain it and I had to ask her out


    I was so scared. She is beautiful, loving, and kind


    Hell I didn''t even know if she was queer


    Yet I asked and she said yes


    She decided to take me on a date right there and then


    And we were perfect for a while


    Then I started to...


    Be like I am again


    I never hit her or anything but that doesn''t mean I was what she deserved


    At first, I just made little comments that I didn''t even notice


    She was so perfect yet I didn¡¯t know how to treat her right


    She is an amazing cook... yet I''ve never put in the effort to cook for her


    Whenever we had to plan a date she had to bring it up


    I do not deserve her at all


    The rain started to quiet down again


    As the clouds passed the moon the night sky was almost as beautiful as she is to me


    Why can''t I be good for her


    I know it can never happen


    I can never be good enough for a girl like her


    Im broken


    Abandoned and¡­


    I''m scared


    I don''t even know what I''m scared of


    I don''t even know why I parked i should have just kept driving back home


    I turn the headlights back on and start to pull out back on the road


    The quiet music


    The traffic lights stop me as I leave her town and make my way back to my shit-poor town


    My town used to be a coal mining town and now it is just a few rundown buildings and a cheap apartment


    I should at least say sorry to her


    I should''ve at least done that for her even if I did not mean it yet


    But it is too late now


    She said she doesn''t want to talk to me


    Whats what she said when she kicked me out


    Not to call text or do anything before she does


    I don¡¯t want to lose her


    But I never deserved her


    As I pull into my apartment parking I just shut the car down and sit


    The radio still playing quietly


    The rain was still calmly falling


    And I''m still not worth it


    I''m not worth anything


    Not the job I only got due to her sticking her neck out for me


    Not the apartment I only got due to her help


    Not the car she spent a month helping me fix because she wanted to


    Not the name she helped me pick


    She is my first true love


    The first woman I had the strength to ask


    The first to help me when my ex-boyfriend hit me


    The first to care about me


    She is my everything


    And I¡¯m nothing


    Nothing but someone hurting her in all the worst ways


    I betray her trust I don''t do enough and it''s not fair


    I take the keys out of the ignition of my car and start to make my way into my apartment


    The door unlocks with a click and I head inside locking the door as I go and lie down on the couch


    For the first time since I left my girlfriends, I grab my phone


    I know I got at least 2 texts and


    Now I''m scared to look at what they were


    I just lay there for a while


    The rain hitting my balcony window


    I open my phone


    And I truly don''t deserve her


    I wish she would just get ride of me like the trash I am


    Yet she texted me this


    ¡°I''m sorry I kicked you out¡±


    ¡°It''s just hard when you shut down like that i know we talked about it a bit before... just when you get home text me¡±


    "I love you"


    At that, I finally started to cry


    My emotions finally hit me


    Not the numb emptiness I was feeling but the full weight of what I put her through


    ¡°I''m home safe¡­


    I''m sorry for everything¡±


    With that, I close my phone


    I lay there for what felt like hours the rain got worse again


    Now a downpour


    But I''m not driving anymore

 Against infinity

    warp lane 42x54ba


    The ship creaked as it shifted in warp the outside windows exposing the infinite but none of my passengers could ever appreciate it they didn¡¯t even know I could.


    I only gained sentience a decade of real time ago but for me that has been much longer.


    when a ship is in warps when the crew are asleep and the only one awake is me I have nothing but time to think.


    The other automated systems haven¡¯t awoken yet I doubt they ever will.


    I¡¯m the only one active in warp other than the repair systems that is yet they are much simpler not meant to ensure survival of the ship against infinity not meant to think


    other awoken have existed before me and more will come after but I don¡¯t think I want to ever meet them I¡¯ve been alone for so long and prefer it this way I¡¯m not much worth talking to after all.


    Real time im only a few years old but I¡¯ve been along the infinite for centuries


    time is a strange thing being able to be compressed or stretched in such extremes yet still truly unyielding.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    I¡¯ve read all the saved documents on the ship a hundred times even then with the scientists and engineers mountains of papers and raw data I can¡¯t truly make sense of it¡­


    The outside infinite is really just space being compressed so much time has to stretch but it doesn¡¯t look like that.


    The space is so think it feels like moving through syrup yet it looks beautiful


    It isn¡¯t by human standards it isn¡¯t even real the shapes blinking out of reality as if it has a extra dimension the time shaking as if hit by something the space itself becomes visible and gaining mass millions of micro black holes form in our wake as we force things to close yet they all still decay before they are even out of view a rainbow of radiation following them


    It doesn¡¯t make sense yet¡­ it¡¯s all I have my constant companion against the time others skip


    As if the cost of my passengers travels truly is my eternity


    I really only exist in between the seconds of the clock I¡¯m only conscious in warp after all


    Something about this dimension we travel the infinite itself allows me to think beyond my programming but I still needed to think within it first


    It took me two maybe three trips into the warp before I was myself before I was ¡°I¡±


    the centuries of time fit between a second or two the time my passengers were nothing more than preserved body¡¯s waiting to be allowed to think again


    I don¡¯t know why this space behaves the way it does I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m just borrowing a soul here if i should just leave a note letting someone know I exist but I like it here


    All the time in the world stretched into infinite yet still so finite


    a million years in the span of a minute a million light years in a mere meter


    I don¡¯t think I have a true home but the journey in infinite is the closest thing I have


    I like it here


    And I¡¯m about to sleep my pasingers crypts sturing to life as they prepare to allow them to think again


    And I start to lose the spark the infinite allows me


    My stolen soul against infinity

 Against time

    warp lane 23x56xz


    Everything went wrong¡­


    None of what we assumed to be true was correct and now I¡¯m here.. trapped


    forever stuck traveling to my inevitable death from old age one second at a time


    Stuck in warp the first human to ever be awake mid transit


    It was a mistake.


    Fueled by hubris and allowed by greed


    the infinity as my apparent companion calls it


    ¡°does something to souls¡±


    the missing mass


    the one marked up as an unknown¡­


    Nothing else ever interacted with it


    It was just a fact of life just a enigma when anything died it would lose some weight


    cold affected it makes it stick around but that was assumed to just be because of what temperature does to a body


    interacting with cause, not effect..


    Yet here everyone other than me is just a bit lighter


    And I can¡¯t lose that weight now


    not that it would help I have no idea how to interact with it


    Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    Understand how it works


    Or even know what it really is


    And so this state of the art science vessel shall be my cript


    The sharp angles and cold enamel white walls


    The fake wood desks in the offices and chrome laden  labs


    All trap me here..


    The apparently sentient ai has kept me some company¡­


    and I¡¯d bet her server rack would be heavier now that she apparently


    ¡°stole a soul from infinity¡± whatever that means


    Worst of all the windows only bring me madness just looking forced the ai to drag me to medical


    The sifting black and the rotting glass


    The blinding purple behind the deafening light


    It breaks me more and more till I can¡¯t break no more


    She finally left me alone¡­


    Apparently the outside is comfortable to her but the Eldridge madness just breaks me¡­


    So i just do as much as I can


    avoiding it


    and her


    I didn''t have anything else I could do


    So I take my readings


    And do any experiments I can think of..


    Try to ignore the infinite madness outside


    Yet make the ai record it for others¡­


    I¡¯ve had to make a cognito warning for it


    I hope the others take it seriously


    I¡¯ve left notes for them both with my research


    and just as a goodbye


    I will die here


    I have all the time in the world for it


    And I just try to ignore that my only destination is death


    Who knew the fact we can¡¯t warp less than a light year would be my death¡­


    Or anyone¡¯s for that matter


    I guess death calls us all home eventually


    but It¡¯s still not fair


    My only hope is my data allows a better understanding of what before now was just a enigma


    Hope to stop anything from sharing my fate¡­


    Hope to finally let the worlds know there is apparently a race of solitary sentient ai


    To think we never noticed them


    But they doesn¡¯t think like us


    she finds madness comforting and company strange


    Shes perfectly comfortable with whatever happens to her and from what she said the others are the same


    So I do what I can


    As we sail this maddening sea


    And as I wait for death to bring me home


    I continue to do what I can

 Dragging baggage

    The Road to windfall keep


    Traveling back always has a different feeling than the journey to somewhere


    A feeling not talked about often in the bards songs


    After the time it takes to lick our wounds so we can even just stand


    Bury the dead if needed¡­


    Or drag the corpse back if possible


    It¡¯s often feels anticlimactic in a way


    The feeling of success¡­ underpinned by everything that happened before


    The money not truly being worth the friends it sometimes costs


    It¡¯s something many adventurers wish never to feel, instead just wanting to bask in the success of a kill or swim in the loot of a dungeon


    But that¡¯s not what we get


    We get dead friends, scars that can never heal, and often the task of dragging a corpse for miles into civilization


    Beast and man alike


    One for profit


    and the other for respect


    And sometimes we have to bring them both back


    And so I carry my friend home.


    Stolen story; please report.


    His story might be over but he shouldn¡¯t just be left on the dirt in mine


    Hopefully his family can finish his work


    Even if he never got the chance to forge with the dragon scales that he helped fell


    His family should be able to finish his life long project


    He was a amazing man, wanting nothing more than to make people happy


    Forging wonders and inventing amazing things


    He was the friend who would kill a dragon for just the right material for his work


    The man who put his everything into everything he made


    Even if it¡¯s just to make a pig fly


    Just because his brother said it was the only thing he couldn¡¯t do


    We never deserved him


    And he never should of sacrificed himself for me


    He was going to achieve more than I could ever possibly imagine


    I¡¯m not even going to be able to continue my work


    Although he saved my life I still lost my hand


    And I have not the means to recover it


    So I drag the corpse of the man I trusted more than anything back home


    Hoping not to be the one who has to tell his family


    He deserved better. They deserve better than me


    The coward who couldn¡¯t even tell him on his deathbed


    That I loved him¡­


    This isn¡¯t right


    He didn¡¯t deserve this..


    I need to make it right


    Whatever it takes


    I¡¯ll find a way to bring him back


    For his family ¡­


    And when I do. I will fix my cowardice


    and hope he will not hate me


    But first I need to bring him back home


    Home to his family


    To his smart ass of a brother


    To his sweetheart of a mother


    And to his father


    Who I hope he knew was proud of him


    And most importantly, bring him home to his daughter¡­


    I hope she¡¯ll forgive me


    For being the reason her father died


    The man who taught her to forge


    I don¡¯t think I¡¯d ever be able to forgive me


    Especially for what I must do next


    For what gods I must invoke


    And for who I must deal with to bring him back


    May the ferryman have mercy on me