《The Girls of Skoggtarn-i-Sor》
The End of Innocence
Love infused my childhood: ah the innocent days, before we learn of danger, of betrayal, of fear. I was lucky, really, to be sheltered so long, and to live - however naively - in such a safe and nurturing space.
My sister Brenna found our home to be more constricting than I did, and she chafed under the isolation it enforced upon us. Whenever she could, she would sneak away to peer through the Market Gate, where outsiders came to trade with the men of the village; I was not so made, and felt comfortable inside the walls of the village where we lived. Neither doubt nor question ever troubled me.
And as a child, what was there to question, really? My papa doted on Brenna and me; no matter how long and exhausting his day, he made time for us every night. I can still remember the sound of his great heartbeat under my ear as I lay my head against his chest, and the vibration of his voice as he sang to me and Brenna, one of us on each knee.
He had crazy in him, too: "Bloooooo-Hough-Haaahhh!" he''d bellow as he came for us with impossibly long arms tipped with the threat of tickles. Oh, how papa would make us laugh!
When Mama would see us turning red and mock-desperately telling Papa to, "...stop, stop!!!" she''d firmly let him know that enough was enough. She herself hated to be tickled (I mean really hated it), and would never inflict such a thing on us. But oh, could she tell a story! How many nights the three of us on her four-poster bed, snuggled into covers and one of us in each crook of her arm while she lulled us to sleep with stories of Freya, of gods of Asgard and heroes of Midgard.
She also delighted in creating surprises for us. One of my favorites were her treasure hunts. We would come home and she would hand us each a small slip of paper with an unfinished couplet:
Your treasure hunt is now begun, and this is your first clue:
To find the next now stop and think: where do I keep the ____?
And off I''d be to the craft box where she kept the glue!
As we grew into young ladies, Papa seemed to calcify into stricter ways, but Mama could still disarm us with silliness any time. One of her best weapons against our teenage years was her four-year-old alter ego Toastie Zwieback, a mischievous but well-intentioned kindergartener who discovered endless ways to get in trouble by trying to "help".
We were lucky to live in innocence for so long, but of course it couldn''t last.
******************************
The village of Skogt?rn-i-S?r was better suited to preserving innocence than most. For the first 18 years of my life, the only contact I ever had with someone from outside of the village would be when someone new came to live there. Merchants were allowed in the area outside of the Market Gate, but never inside of the wall; and casual passersby were not even allowed so close. Having no basis for comparison, this all seemed quite normal to me. Brenna, on the other hand, seemed instinctively to knw that it was not.
The only other gate in the village wall was the Labyrinth Gate, and just beyond it, the Labyrinth Forest where the Will-o-Wisps were said lay in wait to lure unwary children to their doom. Many important rituals of the village centered around this gate, but the only time it was ever opened was - so we were told - to banish someone from the village. As the daughter of a Village Elder, I knew that death itself was preferable to banishment, and in any event, we never had a banishment during my childhood, so the idea of the gate opening at all was more myth than real to me.
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Once a year on Freya''s Day, which fell on Midsummer''s Eve, everyone in the village would gather at the Labyrinth Gate. The main event was a solemn and scripted Freya''s Day Pageant, which did not vary at all from year to year. The year that I was seven years old, I was selected to play the roll of Bygul, one of the magnificent blue skogkatts that pull Freya''s chariot when she comes to open the Labyrinth Gate and lead the people of Skogt?rn-i-S?r to the fields of Folkvangr.
"Dagmar is going to give you a chicken," the pageant director told me, "and all you have to do is pretend to be a Skogkatt. Tear into it like you haven''t eaten in a week. The messier and snarlier, the better!"
I was a neat child by nature, but I had a vivid imagination, and for this cause I gave it free reign. I went around pouncing, snarling, and I feasted ravenously at every meal - if not at the dinner table, then at least in my mind - for a full week before the event.
"I am Bygul! I am a starving skogkatt, and this chicken is the BEST THING I''ve ever eaten!" I told myself; as my body daintily nibbled at a slice of buttered toast, my inner skogkatt was sated in wilder ways.
Of course, I had attended the ceremony with my parents every year, and if I hadn''t been cast as a skogkatt that year, then perhaps my memory of understanding the story would have melded into a vague sense of something I had always known. But as the Norns would have it, I was cast as Bygul that year, and in my vivid seven year old imagination, by the time the ritual had arrived, I had become Bygul, of the massive mane and powerful, tufted snow-paws...and most of all, of ravenous appetite for chicken!
*************************
The night of the pageant came, and before the show began, my father took me up into the Watchtower that flanked the Labyrinth Gate. We had been up there before: every year, after the pageant, the entire village filed up the winding staircase of the left tower, across the parapet over the gate to gaze at Freya''s castle Sessrumnir and leave small charms, flowers and food at her statue over the gate, and back down by the twin tower on the right side of the gate - all the while praying for the Day of the Labyrinth when Freya would finally open the Labyrinth Gate and bring all of the villagers to Folkvangr.
I had never been up there in such solitude before. My father was a man of few words, and he must have sensed that the stars beginning to peek through the falling darkness and the glow of Sessrumnir in the distance had a special magic all their own which could not be enhanced or embellished by words. When the time came for the Pageant, I was not just Bygul the Fierce and Ravenous, but Bygul the Regal and Magical, who would safely escort Freya and all of her chosen to Sessrumnir and the fields of Folkvangr. "All our troubles," so the saying went, "will be no more, and the former things will pass away."
So when my roasted chicken arrived, I set into it with a kind of other consciousness that I could not truly call my own. There had been no extended rehearsal, as most villagers basically knew the pageant by heart; and even if there had been, I doubt I''d have paid much attention to the others'' roles. Now, I reveled in the words of Dagmar-as-Freya, explaining the scene before the audience:
Eat my precious Bygul and Trejgul! Have your fill: let nothing remain of those who left before the Day and the Opening of the Labyrinth Gate!
"Those who left before the opening of the gate?" I thought, "What is this?"
Let the flesh be torn from their bones, and the bones be gnawed by the dogs when you are done. Let nothing remain of those who abandoned their own true home to seek their own glory in the Wider World!
A flush of heat rushed to my head, and beads of sweat formed on my upper lip while my head began to spin in foggy darkness.
Wait for me, my precious ones, and do not doubt I will come for you. Leave not by the Labyrinth Gate, nor wander through the Market Gate seeking the Wonders of This World...or witness your fate!"
I retched, and suddenly I was just a cold, confused and shaken little seven year old girl again.
Unn
No one ever did get banished through the Labyrinth Gate, and eventually the horror of my skogkatt experience faded; it became a standard family funny story with which I laughed along. Occasionally, new people would come to live in our village, and sometimes people passed away, but no one ever passed out through the Labyrinth Gate.
No one ever did get banished through the Labyrinth Gate, and eventually the horror of my skogkatt experience faded; it became a standard family funny story with which I laughed along. Occasionally, new people would come to live in our village, and sometimes people passed away, but no one ever passed out through the Labyrinth Gate.
I was ten when Sassa and her daughter Unn came to live in our village. as was our custom, we held a great feast for the whole town to mark the occasion. As a Village Elder, my father was expected to take a prominent role in preparing for the celebrations; as his wife and daughters, my mother, sister and I dutifully supported him by working with the other Elder''s wives and daughters to do the actual preparation of the celebration, and counted ourselves lucky to serve as an example to the village.
The evening of the feast was the first time I actually got to see Unn and her mother, before that they were hosted in another villager''s home, and not given freedom to roam about the village. Unn was like no one I had ever seen: her skin was rich and golden, with and iridescent shimmer of pink, and her hair was a glistening mass of hot pink curls. She wore a simple black tunic, leggings and boots that somehow seemed not funereal but electrifying and mysterious all at once.
I had prepared a small gift for her: a corn doll I had fashioned for the Ostara festival, freshly adorned with some bluebells and a daisy perched upon her head like a hat. Unn saw me approaching, and my sister Brenna close behind.
"Hello!" she said, approaching us with cheerful openness that startled me. "I''m Unn."
"Hello, " I replied, "I''m Astrid, and this is my sister Brenna."
"Hello Unn!"
"I''m so glad there are girls my own age here. My mother said it was a small village, and there mightn''t be many children."
"There are others," I said. "You''ll meet them all at school tomorrow."
Brenna piped up now, "Astrid has a present for you!" she said, eager for me to present the doll, whose daisy-hat had been created by herself. I fished the doll out of my pocket, but my delight turned to dismay as I noticed the flowers were crushed. I tried to pretend the doll wasn''t the intended gift, but Unn took my hand before I could return the doll to my pocket.
"She''s lovely," Unn said, and took the doll from me. Then, she did a curious thing: she brought the doll very close to her face, almost as if she were going to kiss it. She studied it for a bit, then closed her eyes and blew gently on the flowers. To my astonishment and Brenna''s, the blossoms came back to life.
"How did you do that?!" I exclaimed. Brenna just stared with eyes as wide as saucers.
"Oh, don''t you know?" Unn said, as if what she had just done were common knowledge. "Well, I asked the flowers if they wanted to blossom again,and so they did."
"Oh!"
*************************************
As children will who have not yet learned to fear the extraordinary, Brenna and I soon became fast friends with Unn. Her strangeness was of course remarked upon by many in the village, but I heard little of it, and wouldn''t have understood what it betrayed about my fellow villagers even if I had. Unn was a polite and cheerful little girl, so they were by and large willing to overlook her odd skin and haircolor, and our friendship blossomed naturally.
Over time, her color seemed to be just a bit less odd and brilliant; I wasn''t sure if it was my memory playing tricks on me, or a change taking place in my friend herself, but it was slow change, and it made her fit better into the village. Even at ten I could sense that this was good from the perspective of the villagers, because what little talk there had been seemed to disappear as Unn became more normal looking.
Brenna in particular seemed to idolize our new friend. She had come from the World Beyond, and Brenna constantly plied her for stories of places she had been, things she had done and seen that were unknown to us in the village of Skogt?rn-i-S?r.
I suppose I felt a bit stung by being displaced in my sister''s affections, and I began to gravitate toward the young women just a bit older than I, who were transitioning into women''s roles in the village. I was young, however, and still sought Brenna and Unn''s company when the women didn''t need me around; and Unn was so gentle, generous and inventive that I could not long be around her without falling under her spell a bit myself.
So it was that Unn first led us to look beyond the Labyrinth Gate one day. Like most of our adventures, it began with a barrage of questions from Brenna.
"Unn, why don''t you do more magic? Like you did with the flowers."
"It''s not magic," Unn replied, as if this should have been understood. "I just help answer questions."
"Well, it looks like magic," Brenna insisted, "Those flowers were dead, and you brought them back to life!"
Unn smiled, "That''s only because they wanted to; they knew they had been asked to greet me, and they wanted to do their job, Brenna. But here in the village, the wanting has been beaten out of most things. They won''t even listen to me, much less tell me what they want. So I can''t help them."
"Oh." said Brenna, as mystified as ever, and then again, "Well that''s silly of them. If I were a flower, I''d love to be in bloom all the time!" As she did this, her fingers slipped the final knot into the daisy chain she was making, and she placed it upon her own head.
I was a bit more intrigued by what Unn had said. "If you could talk to some flowers outside of the village, do you think they might want to talk? I mean...in your old village, there must have been hundreds of flowers to talk to."
"Oh yes!" said Unn, "and the animals and all the creatures," she said. "In my old village, everything wanted to be known, be remembered. Be loved. That''s what it is, you know - the ''magic'', as Brenna calls it. It''s just recognizing the soul of at thing. When you can see that soul with your heart, then you become a mirror for the thing itself, and it can remember how to heal itself."
"But here in the village, everything is already just fine." I said, without really thinking about it.
"Yes, well...they think they''re fine, anyway," Unn said sadly.
Now it was Brenna''s turn: "Why don''t we go to the Labyrinth Gate?" she said.
Unn and I turned puzzled looks in her direction, and she explained, "You can see through the gate there. Maybe you can talk to some of the flowers that live near the gate."
Unn was off in the direction of the North Field and the Labyrinth Gate before either Brenna or I could say another word. "Come on!" she said, "I''ll show you!"
"We shouldn''t!" I said, suddenly rooted to the ground in fear.
"Why not?" said Brenna, "We''re not going through the gate, silly. We''re just going to the gate, so Unn can talk to some flowers."
Now it was Unn''s turn to be surprised, "What''s wrong with going through the gate?" she said. "Isn''t that what gates are for?"
"Oh no!" I cried in alarm, "Not the Labyrinth Gate. We really shouldn''t go there. No one is supposed to leave through that gate until Freya opens it to bring us all to Folkvangr."
"Oh you don''t seriously believe that, Astrid, do you?"
"Brenna, I do! Please, please, please don''t go!"
Brenna just heaved an exasperated sigh. "I''ll go with you, Unn." she said, turning her back to me and locking elbows with her friend. "We don''t need her to find the gate. Let''s go!"
Alarmed and against my better judgment, I decided to go along and make sure they would be okay.
*********************************
After all that drama, the actual trip to the gate was pretty anti-climactic. There was a frisson of fear at first (what if we got caught?!), but it faded as I pondered the question more seriously. What if we did get "caught"? It''s not like there was a law against walking up to the North Wall, or looking through the open grating of the gateway itself.
Still, there was an unspoken taboo about the place, and I suspected our trip would be seriously frowned upon by some in the village. And then I thought, "So what? There''s no thing wrong with going to the gate. For pity''s sake, we celebrate most of our holidays there." And as for the frowners-upon, I figured that what they didn''t'' know wouldn''t hurt them.
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The most surprising thing about our trip to the Gate was Unn herself. I would swear that, as she approached it, she seemed to brighten. Her step had an energy I hadn¡¯t seen in a long while. There wasn¡¯t much to see beyond the gate itself: just a grassy clearing through which the village road continued a short way before disappearing into the Labyrinth Forest. Being unused, the path itself was barely even discernible: a few stones that showed in clusters between stands of wildflowers and tall meadowgrass overgrowing it.
Near the gate but off to the left was a small patch of daisies whose time appeared to have come and gone for the year. It was to these bygone blooms that Unn turned her attention, and reached through the iron grate toward them. I noticed in her hand the small corn doll I had given her when first we met.
Brenna and I knew what would happen next, but for all that we were still amazed and delighted when the blossoms lifted their bright faces toward the sun.
¡°Unn - your hair is sparkling!¡± I exclaimed. ¡°And your skin is shimmering golden-pink again!¡±
Unn smiled but said nothing, clearly in a happier place that she did not want to disturb by speaking, and I watched in fascination as she spoke to other green things beyond the wall, and the entire forest entrance was soon bedecked with an arching canopy of blossoms and fruit.
It was Brenna who noticed, in the darkness beyond, a slip of blue light like a beckoning finger. I was so entranced by Unn¡¯s ¡°conversation¡± with the flowers and trees that I missed it completely until I heard a harsh grating and a grunt of effort and frustration. I looked up to see Brenna struggling with the vegetation that had grown up and over a small guard door set into the wall beside the main gate.
¡°Brenna, no!¡± I cried, and quickly leapt up to pull her away from the gate.
Brenna seemed to snap out of a fog when I touched her, and looked around in confusion at the destroyed vines partially pulled away from the guard door. The skin of her hands and forearms was badly scratched, and a small drop of blood followed where I helped her extract a thorn from the blackberry bramble she had been wrestling with.
¡°We should go,¡± I said quietly, as I tended her hands. ¡°And we should not come back. That Will-O-Wisp nearly lured you away!¡±
*********************************
Some threads, once pulled, can only unravel: and so it was with our little trio and our village. Unn seemed to withdraw from me, and Brenna with her. I pretended to be absorbed by the women¡¯s work into which I was quickly growing: I was the eldest of our trio, and so it was a haven for me. Still, deep within I knew that in trying to protect my sister and my friend, I had somehow broken a deeper trust.
I saw them, of course, and so did the other Women of the town. There was much shaking of heads and tsk-tsking as they were observed going to and from the north pastures and the road to the Labyrinth Gate at unsanctioned times of day and month and year. Always, Unn would seem a bit brighter, and I would bite my lip in consternation, torn between the twin perils of failing health and the lure of the Will-o-Wisp that threatened my sister and my friend.
I heard the Women speak of Unn, especially, in disapproving tones, and I would defend her sometimes in impassioned speeches¡in my head. One day, I even found the courage to open my mouth.
¡°Those girls are bound for Trouble, I tell you. You just wait¡it¡¯s the Labyrinth Gate and the Skoggkatts for them for sure, if someone doesn¡¯t get a handle on them proper and quick!¡± said Sister Corrine over a large vat of boiling white linens one day as Brenna and Unn passed by on the northern village road.
¡°Sister Corrinne, I know it¡¯s dangerous¡but Unn really does have to go!¡± I said timidly. ¡°Her health depends up on it,¡± I explained.
Now, I was well known as a ¡°good girl¡±, so Corrine was very kindly interested in what I had to say, and was not dismissive as she might have been with a less dutiful village girl. Here eyes conveyed genuine surprise and concern when she responded to me: ¡°My dear Astrid, whatever can you mean?! Please¡help me to understand.¡±
I felt encouraged by this response, and I spoke more boldly in turn: ¡°Do you remember when Unn first came to the village?¡± I asked. ¡°Do you remember how bright her hair was, and how her skin seemed to have a golden shimmer when she moved or spoke?¡±
¡°Very odd¡yes, I do remember. How could one forget?!¡± A few of the others nodded in agreement, or rolled their eyes and made amused side comments to each other, but these I disregarded. My friend¡¯s well being was at stake, and I had to take this opportunity to speak up.
¡°Well, you¡¯ve probably also noticed how she¡¯s become so pale¡and so quiet and weak. She says it¡¯s because the growing things in our village won¡¯t listen when she tries to help them. She says lots of people do that, where she is from, but the things in our village think themselves quite fine already. And when she can¡¯t be helping¡it makes her weak.
¡°When she goes to the gate, though, she can see the things living at clearing and at the forest edge. And these things she can speak to¡and she makes them bloom and bear fruit, and they help her in return. She gets her strength back, and she even sparkles and glows again!¡±
I was so excited, that I was oblivious to the looks of incredulity, disdain and scorn growing around me. I could only hear the pounding of my heart, and missed the deadly silence falling upon the room.
¡°She gets her color back, when she helps them,¡± I said. ¡°I think she needs it¡to live.¡±
For three months I had held this terrible secret inside of me, and this fear of the two threats to my sister and our friend. I cried a bit in relief once I had finished my speech. Finally, I thought, the Women could see what was happening. Finally, someone wiser than I would find the right solution to help my friend and keep both her and Brenna safe from the Will-o-Wisps¡¯ lure. Surely, the Women would know how to help.
And yet¡as I saw the faces turning to stone around me, and felt the silence sinking cold into my own brief moment of relieve, a cold and unfamiliar prickling crept up along my spine and over my shoulders: it slipped into my throat and settled down into my stomach like a stone. And guilt and anxiety settled in for a long rest there.
¡°You were right to tell us this, my dear,¡± Corrine replied, and handed me the long wooden pole to take her place at the boiling vat while she headed out on some errand of her own device.
*********************************
No one said another word to me for the rest of the day, and the silent treatment was unsettling in this place where I had grown accustomed to being included in the Women¡¯s banter as they went about their work. Anxiety crept into my arms and hands, and sat on my chest like a cat determined to steal the soul from my breath. The chatter that excluded me came from voices that sounded muffled and distorted, as if travelling through water to reach my ears. The air itself weighed heavily in my lungs, humid with ominous portent as in the hours before a hot summer storm is about to break.
After work, I made to go home as usual, but was greeted at the door by the returning Sister Corrinne.
¡°Dear heart, you father wants to see you at the Town Hall,¡± she said simply.
In all my years, my father had never made such a request of me. In fact, women were rarely ever called to the Hall, and I suspected that when they were, it was not a good thing.
I tried to reason with my fears, of course. ¡°It¡¯s Papa, after all,¡± I thought. ¡°He must be late, and wanting me to carry a message to Mama.¡± But the heart knows when the mind is lying to it, and the stone in my stomach grew heavier and colder with every step I took.
That¡¯s when I heard my father¡¯s deep baritone ring out the song of my name, and a wave of emotion washed over me that was half relief, half terror. He clearly wasn¡¯t angry with me: I knew that tone of voice well. Still there was something else there that I didn¡¯t recognize, and it¡¯s unfamiliarity fed my ill-suppressed fear.
¡°Astrid, my beautiful girl,¡± he said, ¡°Thank you for coming straight away!¡±
¡°Of course, Papa!¡± And again I felt better. I could not perhaps trust the women to find an answer¡but Papa ALWAYS knew just what to do.
¡°When sister Corrinne told us what you said about Unn, we became very concerned. The Village Elders would like to ask you some more questions about it.¡±
¡°Of course,¡± I repeated, unable to think of anything else to say.
¡°One thing I must ask you before we go in - do you really feel she is in such terrible danger, my dear girl?¡±
¡°Oh, Papa, I don¡¯t know!¡± I whispered. ¡°You¡¯ve always said I have an overactive imagination¡¡±
¡°Well, that¡¯s true, I have said that often enough. However, there¡¯s not such a great difference between a creatively observant mind and a vivid imagination. You have shown enough discernment that I am inclined to think yours may tend more toward the former,¡± he said, then turned to lead the way into the Hall. ¡°Com inside with me, now. If you are even partly right, it¡¯s important that the Elders understand, because Unn and Brenna may be badly in need of their help.¡±
And so in I went: one young girl and five somber men full of questions and concern: When had Unn and Brenna first visited the Labyrinth Gate? What had I meant about Unn¡¯s ability to ¡°talk¡± with the flowers and bring them back to life? What changes had I observed in Unn¡down to the tiniest detail? If they were to help her, I must leave NOTHING out! Had I ever returned with Brenna and Unn, apart from the first visit we made together?
¡°No, no!¡± I assured them, ¡°And I told Brenna and Unn they must stay away!¡±
¡°Quite right, Astrid, quite right! What a dilemma for you, poor dear!¡± said Elder Eriksson, ¡°But now, answer for me one more question, and then you may go:
¡°If you knew it was dangerous for them to go, why did you not tell anyone sooner?¡±
¡°I¡I don¡¯t know. It seems to help Unn so much when she goes. I didn¡¯t know what to do!¡± I stammered. The guilt that had been lightening all the while as I unburdened my soul to the wise Elders who could hopefully help my friend suddenly dropped back into my stomach from an uncomfortable height, and I struggled to control a convulsion in my lower gut. I screwed up my face and held my breath so as not to cry.
¡°That¡¯s QUITE enough,¡± my father roared when he saw my distress. ¡°She has answered that question already, Elder Eriksson. She fears for her friend¡¯s life. However mistakenly, she believed that the trips to the gate might be as necessary as they were dangerous.
¡°It has been a terrible burden for her to carry this knowledge and fear alone for so long. I am only grateful she finally found the courage to speak, before Brenna and Unn were lost to us forever!¡± he thundered. I had never seen my father like this before. For all the safety behind our village walls, I had never felt so protected in my life.
And with that, Papa scooped me up as if I were still a babe in arms. ¡°I am taking my daughter home,¡± he announced. ¡°You may speak with Brenna tomorrow.¡± His tone brooked no argument, and I even stopped fighting the awkward hold. It was nice to have Papa come to my rescue. It was good to know my friend and my sister had such a protector.
Everything was going to be alright.
*********************************
Except, of course, everything was not alright.
My interview was by far the gentlest of the series. Brenna - stubborn, indomitable Brenna - returned from hers the next day with suspiciously reddened eyes and nose, and a surly insubordination in her expression that swelled the guilt stone in my belly to a point where I could not bring myself to eat. Could hardly breathe for anxiety. And Unn seemed to disappear altogether, staying secluded in her mother¡¯s cottage. When I next saw her mother, who had always been so kind to me, Sassa looked at me with an inscrutable intensity I could neither fathom nor bear.
I hid in the laundry and focused ever more intensely on my work, because I couldn¡¯t bear to see the unravelling of my innocence and youth. I took on the mending work whenever I could, as if by darning stocks and patching bed sheets, I could somehow repair the damage I could feel pervading my life.
In the end, the Elders¡¯ inquisition determined that neither Brenna nor Unn had reached the ¡°age of accountability¡±, nor had any actual law had been broken by their travel to the Labyrinth Gate.
Nonetheless, there were changes in the village: a patch to reinforce the frayed fabric of our community. The younger Brothers of the village formed a Patrol for the north road. Brenna and Unn were formally reprimanded for their reckless behavior. And Unn, while forgiven for not knowing her ¡°witchcraft¡± was an evil and unforgiveable practice, was put on notice that there must be no more such activity, or she and her mother would be banished through the Labyrinth Gate.
Unn¡¯s health declined more rapidly, despite every effort to cure her mysterious illness; and on the eve of Winter Solstice, pale as moonlit snow, Unn passed silently away.
The Labyrinth Forest
What had been a worrying distance between me and Brenna after our visit to the wall became a heartbreaking wall between us after Unn passed away. By the time Brenna was 10, I could see in her an unyielding strength which I at once deplored and envied. I felt no surprise, therefore, when in the summer of her 17th year, Brenna was suddenly nowhere to be found.
I thought back to that day eight years earlier when I had thought to entrust Brenna and Unn¡¯s secret to Sister Corrinne, and the familiar weight in my stomach seemed to grow just a bit heavier as once again I sat through an inquisition with the Village Elders: Did I have any idea as to where Brenna might have gone? What company might she have kept that would lead her astray? Did I think she might have left by the Market Gate? Or by the Labyrinth Gate?
Two thoughts dominated my inner dialogue throughout this unproductive interview. First was the realization of how pathetically little I knew about my sister, my beloved little Brenna, after all this time. And second was¡if I were ever fortunate enough to find her and win her confidence again, NEVER would I betray her again. The only help we could count on was each other.
Therefore, when one small hope did dawn inside my heart, I kept it close and secret. I guarded it as carefully as a traveler might carry coals on winter¡¯s journey over land: careful not to spill them, lest they burn down my provisions and shelters; and careful not to expose them, lest they consume themselves too quickly and die out before we had reached our next night¡¯s camp.
I had the trust of the Council, and I used it to my own purposes instead.
The Labyrinth Gate was searched, of course; and the Market Gate, and all the village houses where she was know to have friends; but there was one place that no one thought to look. Under cover of the Dark Moon, I made my way unobserved to Unn¡¯s grave that night.
There were patrols on the North Road, of course, but the Western Road led to no gate, and was unguarded. The graveyard was a lonesome enough place by day; at night, and in the dark, I was completely alone.
Despite the darkness, I made my way to Unn¡¯s grave without hesitation. I had visited it every week for many years now, and sometimes even on a daily basis, and my feet new every stone and divot along the path. I experienced some peace when I went there: a lifting of the stone burden I bore at all other times, and which I invariably picked back up again and carried with me when I left.
Tonight, something was different. A small bunch of Daisies lay wilting beneath the marker of Unn¡¯s grave: Brenna had been here before she left Skogtarn-i-Sor. I sat down by the headstone and picked up the flowers, and as I did so a voice like rush of wind whispered through me, like the sussuration of a gentle breeze through a field of wildflowers and tall grasses:
She is come¡she is come.
I closed my eyes and brought the cut blossoms close to my face; I inhaled deeply of their spicy sweetness, and the words became sharper and clearer in my head:
She is come as she said as she both said. She is come.
¡°Unn and Brenna,¡± I replied, ¡°Are these the ones who said I would come?¡±
Yessss¡yessss.She both said she would come.
¡°Can you help me find Brenna? Is she alright?¡±
She is come, and she must follow.
¡°Where must I follow?¡±
Here, here¡ Here, here¡ whispered the Daisies, and the whispering sound seemed to travel away from me; I turned my face to follow the sound, and saw a path of daisies dimly lit by starlight under the dark moon sky as they opened their faces across the neatly manicured lawn of the graveyard.
With a final farewell to Unn, I followed the daisy trail.
*************************************
The Daisies were surprisingly canny, I soon learned. They did not lead me straight to wall and gate, but took a circuitous route through empty fields well away from witnessing eyes. The patrols were increased because of my sister¡¯s disappearance, but the daisies seemed to know where to pause and let them pass, and where to go around them altogether. When we drew near to the Labyrinth Gate, they led me to a small cluster of bushes a short way off of the North Road. The ground between the bushes and the gate was clear of any obstacle, and the patrol was stationed at a small bridge which was the only easy way across to the gate.
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She stays here¡Stay here. She comes when we call, when we show the way.
I stayed put, and trusted I would recognize their ¡°call¡± when it came. A moment later, I saw a huge white form appearing to the west of the road: the figure of a girl, all dressed in white. The patrols noticed immediately, and one of them moved out to investigate. The shape disappeared, then reformed a little farther down on the bank of the stream, over a small hillock and out of sight of both me and the remaining patrol. A moment later, the first patrol called out to the second:
¡°Erik, come ¡®ere! You¡¯ve got to see this!¡±
I realized that the Daisies were creating a diversion, and took the opportunity to cross the bridge and make my way to the old guard door at the labyrinth gate. I could still hear their voices as I worked on opening the door:
¡°Did you see that, Erik?¡±
¡°I did! I did¡but where did it go?¡± I recognized the second voice as belonging to Erik¡¯s twin, Bjorn.
¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe it was the moonlight shinin¡¯ on these daisies,¡± Erik proposed.
¡°There is no moon tonight.¡±
¡°Yeah, well¡we¡¯d better get back to the bridge, anyway.¡±
¡°You go¡I¡¯m sure you can handle any wee ones who might go sneaking off after the will-o-wisps without my help. I going to look around a bit more, see if I can¡¯t track down what it is we saw. I¡¯d swear it looked like Brenna.¡±
The figure had indeed had the shape of young girl, but it wasn¡¯t the face Brenna I had seen. It was the face of Unn. As the boys separated - Erik returning to the bridge and Bjorn heading further down the stream bank in search of footprints and other clues he would never find, I saw the daisies take shape one more time, and Unn waved to me with a smile on her face as I slipped through guard door and out beyond the Labyrinth Gate.
*************************************
There is a strange thing that happens when one steps out of a safe and familiar place into the unknown, and I felt it forcibly when first I stepped beyond the walls of Skogtarn-i-Sor. I had come out with the intent of finding my sister Brenna, of bringing her safely home, but from the moment I stepped through the gate, I knew that I would somehow never fit within those village walls again. Like opening the pod of milkweed, there was no recapturing the seeds of my soul, now scattered on the winds of change. My physical form had not altered, but my spirit had expanded and connected itself to the possibilities offered by the wide world beyond the wall.
The conditioning of many years¡¯ fear was still with me, of course. Even the tiniest and most familiar noises from the dark forest were terrifying: the scrabble of a squirrel making its way up a tree; the flutter of a night bird¡¯s wing as made his way in search of nocturnal prey. In every shadow¡¯s shift I imagined a Skogkatt waiting to pounce and tear the flesh from my bones. I had to resist an urge to flee back through the guard door into the village and the safety of my home and bed.
I could pretend I never left, I thought, as a lonely howl from the forest set my heart to pounding like it might burst from my chest. But I knew that it wasn¡¯t true; however frightened I might be, the only path available to me was forward. I could never go back to the Village again, and no amount of wishing would make it so.
I also knew I could not stay out in the open by the forest clearing beyond the gate, and so I made my way to the edge of the forest, and crouched a while there in the undergrowth. I shut my eyes and listened for further instructions, but after a long silence I admitted what my heart had know. Unn and her daisies had done their job, and finding the way forward was up to me. I opened my eyes and looked around.
It was the merest sliver of a curl, but the wispy movement glowed softly silver-blue, and on this darkest night of the month, it easily caught my eye. I moved toward it without thinking, and it vanished, only to be replaced by another glowing finger of light a little further down the Labyrinth Forest path. I experienced a moment¡¯s hesitation as the warnings of my childhood filtered through the fascination to my conscious thought, the memory of a long-ago conversation:
¡°We should go, and we should not come back. That Will-O-Wisp nearly lured you away!¡±
But Brenna had gone in the end now¡and if I ever hoped to find her again, the Will-o-Wisp was my only hope; and in that moment of clarity, I realized that the Will-o-Wisp had never been the lure. Brenna had merely felt the call of Sessrumnir sooner than I. Now I set out, not in the thrall of the glowing lights, but in the belief that they would lead me where I meant to go. In the believe that they would lead me to my sister again.
The farther I traveled into the forest, the brighter the Will-o-Wisp lights became. The night sky, where I could see it through gaps in the forest canopy, seemed to indicate the passage of hours as the constellations made their way across the dark moon sky, but I felt neither weariness nor hunger nor thirst. I wondered if the Will-O-Wisp might be misleading me after all, with some sort of spell meant to distract me from my physical needs, but the very clarity of this thought seemed to belie the possibility. Nonetheless, I decided to take a precaution, and began to pluck a single leaf from every tree I passed and determined to stop following the Will-o-Wisp and tend to my physical needs as soon as my apron pockets were full.
Sooner than I expected, the trees began to thin, and then I ran out of trees. The road which in the forest was barely discernible here became a well-graded and clearly visible roadway, and the forest gave way to a broad expanse of rolling hills dotted with cottages and outbuildings interspersed with orchards and fields. To the east I saw the constellations fading away into the pre-dawn light on the horizon, and in the light the first stirrings of the days¡¯ business as farmers headed out to pasture and field.
Farther still I could see the steeper hills that led to the mountains, and rising up on the mountainside itself¡the city and castle of Sessrumnir. I had arrived in the Folkvangr, and the Skogkatts hadn¡¯t gotten me yet.
Sessrumnir
The Will-o-Wisps led me through the forest, but no farther: there was no need for them in daylight on the broad road north to Sessrumnir. Also, once beyond the forest, I became acutely aware of the bodily needs that had seemed suspended in my nocturnal travels. I had given no thought to my journey, so had prepared no provisions, and had taken not so much as a cup to capture water. I improvised by weaving some of the leaves from my pocket into a little cup, and scooped a little from a stream that ran close to the road. I had never known such a sweet, cold water and paused to drink my fill.
As the daylight increased, so did the traffic on the road, and by noon I was passing others with some regularity. Most of my traveling companions were polite but purposeful: with laden handcarts, pack animals and wagons, I assumed that they must be headed to the markets at Sessrumnir. One woman caught me staring stupidly at a chuck of bread she held in her hand, and stopped to offer it to me.
She introduced herself as Syr, and said she was bringing a new kind of wheat seed to market, which had begun to grow in her fields a few years back, shortly after her husband passed away; it produced a most extraordinary bread: dark and rich, but soft and sweet as well. ¡°You are plainly hungry - please take some,¡± she concluded, and I gladly accepted.
The roll was everything she had claimed, and left me utterly satisfied despite its small size. ¡°Thank you again,¡± I exclaimed when I finished it, ¡°that truly is extraordinary bread!¡±
Syr beamed at my appreciation, and invited me to accompany me while she was in the city to help her tend her stall in exchange for sharing her room and bread.
¡°The markets can be so busy,¡± she explained, ¡°I could really use a helper. Some people just won¡¯t wait in a long line - especially if they don¡¯t know what¡¯s at the end of it. Having a helper would allow me to serve my customers more quickly, and hopefully conclude my business in the city more quickly as well.¡±
Having no other prospects, I gratefully accepted again, and fell in beside her and her little donkey cart full of wheat and seed.
*********************************
We arrived at the city walls before the sun reached it¡¯s height for the day, and joined throngs of other merchants and visitors seeking entry into the city. The walls were a luminous milky gray, and high above them towered Sessrumnir itself, glittering in the sunlight like a jewel. The line for inspection of her goods by the city officials at the gate was long, and so we made ourselves comfortable and better acquainted during the wait.
¡°So, it¡¯s your first time coming to Sessrumnir,¡± Syr surmised. ¡°May I ask where you are from?¡±
¡°I¡¯m from Skogtarn-i-Sor. It¡¯s about a day¡¯s walk south,¡± I replied.
¡°Oh, I know where it is - my husband used to trade there,¡± she said, ¡°But he said - and everyone knows - that no one ever comes out of the village. So how come you to be on the road to Sessrumnir?!¡±
¡°My sister Brenna ran away, and I am trying to find her.¡±
The gate officials were well experienced at inventorying and evaluating the merchants¡¯ common wares for an accounting of taxes due on the way out; and they were unfailingly just in their valuations, so there were no delays due to arguments with the merchants either. The line moved quickly as a result, and we were soon at the gate. The officials quickly valued Syr¡¯s stock of seed at a standard market value for wheat, but she objected.
¡°I intend to ask a higher price,¡± she said, ¡°And I would not want to be found cheating the Lady¡¯s city.¡±
The guards just laughed, ¡°If you can get a higher price for common wheat seed, you¡¯re welcome to it!¡±
I offered each of them a bit of her bread. ¡°This is no common wheat seed,¡± I said; after sampling it, they agreed, and marked down the price that Syr gave as the value of her inventory.
¡°It¡¯s not everyone that would be so honest,¡± said the officials. ¡°The Lady will be advised of your honesty. You may go along now.¡±
¡°But¡first, I have a question,¡± I chimed in.
¡°Yes?¡±
¡°I am looking for my sister, Brenna. She ran away from our home in Skogtarn-i-Sor two days ago, and I am hoping I may find her in the city.¡±
¡°Was she bringing any goods of value for sale?¡± the elder official asked politely.
¡°No¡I do not believe she would have had anything to declare.¡±
¡°Well, then, we¡¯d not have a record of her arrival,¡± he said a little regretfully, ¡°Ordinary visitors are free to come and go in the city as they please. I¡¯m afraid there isn¡¯t much we can do to help. As you can see, hundreds of people pass through this gate every day, and this is only one of four. I¡¯m not sure what to recommend.¡±
¡°I see. Thank you anyway, then.¡±
Syr had already moved ahead so as to clear the path for the next merchant in line, and noticed the crestfallen look on my face as I caught up with her. When she inquired, I told her about my discussion with the guards.
¡°Well¡official records aren¡¯t the only way to find a person,¡± she said thoughtfully. ¡°Newcomers - even well-traveled newcomers - tend to draw attention to themselves in a thousand different ways. Unless she¡¯s unusually quick, she will be noticed, and someone in the city will be able to tell you where she is¡or has gone.¡±
The place that Syr took me to was Innkeeper Street, located close to the Greenmarket Square. She arranged for accommodations in one of the more modest but respectable looking establishments, and we proceeded from there to the market square where we set up her cart and vendor stall. Business was brisk throughout the early afternoon. Most customers greeted the price of her wheat and seed with reactions ranging from incredulity to outright hostility, but then we offered a sample of her bread, at which all but the most truculent of customers - for whom NO price was ever fair! - acknowledged she was charging rightly for her wares.
Business died down about mid-afternoon, and Syr suggested I take the opportunity to begin canvassing the other hostelries along Innkeeper Street and thereabouts, to see if a woman of my sisters¡¯ description had visited any of them. I started out with alacrity and high hopes, but by the time I returned to the inn to meet Syr for dinner, I was exhausted and discouraged by the lack of even the slightest hint of her whereabouts. Petite young ladies with blonde hair and blue eyes were apparently quite common in Sessrumnir, and every lead had turned out to be a dead end. With each disappointment, my hope flagged a little more. My sleep that night was full of troubling dreams of loss and danger.
The next few days passed in much the same way: once the rush of business had died down for the day, I set out to canvass new neighborhoods in the city for any sign of my sister; by the end of the third day, Syr had sold all of her stock, and asked me to accompany her to the gate so she could give me a share of her profits.
¡°Oh, but it¡¯s not necessary,¡± I protested, ¡°I accepted your contract terms, and¡¡±
¡°And I finished my business in half the time it would normally take, and I sold ALL of it at my full price - due in no small part to your enthusiastic praise of my wares as you shared them with our customers. Once I settle up with the customs officers on the way out, I will see what the full profit is and I would like to give you a small share as a token of my appreciation. I will still come out ahead of where I¡¯d have been without your help.¡±
So I accompanied Syr to the South Gate, and when we arrived there, an even bigger surprise awaited us both.
The customs officers recognized Syr and me, and asked us to come into the gatehouse for our accounting. Once inside, they had surprising news for both of us. For Syr, the Lady Freya had said that, for her honesty and integrity in declaring her goods, she was to be given a discount on her taxes due: for this visit only, she would be taxed at the assessed rate of her goods, rather than the declared value. The emotion that this announcement brought on seemed to seize her entire body for a moment, so that she hugged herself as if to assure herself she was really sitting in that seat receiving such news, and she rocked gently in her seat as if the absorb the impact of this unexpected windfall.
¡°I will use this gift from our lady well!¡± she declared, when at last she could speak, ¡°Starting with my dear helper here, Miss Astrid!¡± And so from being penniless I went to having a small windfall of my own, enough to live on for about a month if I were careful.
And that wasn¡¯t all. Once I had made my thanks and bid goodbye to Syr, the customs official called me back from the doorway as I was leaving.
¡°You¡¯re the girl from Skogtarn-i-Sor, isn¡¯t that right, miss? The one that was looking for her sister?¡±
¡°Why, yes¡I¡¯m from Skogtarn-i-Sor!¡± I said. ¡°Have you news of my sister?!¡±
¡°Miss, I¡¯m sorry, it¡¯s not news of your sister, per se.¡±
I could not keep the disappointment from my face, but I schooled myself to hear him out, and he continued when he saw I had collected myself.
¡°Miss, the Lady Freya has commanded your presence at the Castle Sessrumnir; she is seeking news of your village, and asked that we send you to her posthaste when we should meet with you again.¡±
*******************************
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The streets at the edge of the city were narrow and shadowed by stacked buildings with high-pitched roofs with dramatic overhanging eaves. They looked, I thought, as if they simple could not bear to be kept small by the cramped spaces they inhabited, so instead they pulled themselves inward and upward to extraordinary heights. The result was an odd assemblage of buildings that grew around each other in strange layers, and forcing all traffic along narrow and winding passages that led either toward the four gates of the city on the outside, or toward the market squares on the inside. Within the perimeter of the circle formed by the market squares both the streets and the houses seemed to relax and stretch out a bit, and gracious townhomes on tree-lined boulevards alternated with greenways full of community gardens.
Even so, the castle grounds took me aback when I came upon them. I could not have imagined such an expanse would fit within the city walls, much less within its smallest perimeter. Perhaps this was because it was located on a hill, and much of the green space was more vertical than horizontal. Clear paths and stairways invited passersby to explore the grounds, and I saw many people enjoying picnics and other pastoral passtimes on its green slopes. A laughing boy rolled down one particularly steep section of hill like a log, and at the end of his roll rushed over to where his mother was waiting: ¡°That was AWESOME, mom! Can I do it again?¡±. I couldn¡¯t help but smile and wonder what the elders would make of Freya¡¯s easy tolerance of such frivolous activity on her very doorstep.
Recalling that I had been summoned by the lady herself, I left these observations behind and proceeded up the south path that seemed to lead to the castle itself, through the beautifully manicured forest that encircled the building itself. Very few approached this forest, and I sensed that it was enchanted somehow - perhaps to call those who were meant to pass through it, and gently discourage idle curiosity. I felt the call strongly in my bones, and approached the stone archway carved with runes where the path entered the forest itself.
To my surprise, I spied a bright blue light flickering and beckoning a little way down the path, beyond the forest edge; without hesitation, I followed it in.
As in the Labyrinth Forest, every time I thought I would catch the Wisp, it vanished and would reappear a little further in; eventually, it led me off the path and still I followed it with certainty until it came to rest at the center of a beautiful Fairy Circle in clearing within a grove of birch trees. Of course, the Wisp vanished when I stepped into the ring, but then began to circle the ring with an almost feline motion; a fog began to gather and move with it, coalescing into the figure of a great blue cat.
My first thought was that I should be sorry to die like a roasted chicken, but what else did I expect? To my surprise, though, the Skogkatt made no predatory moves, but instead seemed to be waiting for me. I moved toward them and stepped out of the Fairy Circle, and the Skogkatt disappeared, and a wispy blue light remained where his tail had been. I stepped back into the Fairy Circle, and saw the cat again.
¡°Bygul?¡± I suggested, and he purred as if to affirm my query, then turned away with a roll of his head that indicated I should follow. From the Fairy Circle, Bygul quickly led me to the castle¡¯s grand southern entry. This time, knowing what to look for, I could see the hazy shape of him beyond the flickering light of his tail. Passing through the entrance courtyards along hallways and stairways past various small chambers, Bygul at last brought me to a columned hall hung with bright silks and filled with light from a grand balcony onto which it opened. Bygul led me to a partially secluded alcove at the back of the room, away from the balcony, and sensing his invitation, I seated myself beside him. He rubbed his large head against my shoulder, and I realized he wanted me to scratch behind his ears.
Bygul, the supposed ravenous beast, began purring and settled down comfortably at my feet.
***********************************
We had sat thus for a space of an hour or more before a great clatter of metal and stomping of feet suddenly broke the silence: Freya and her entourage had arrived and I sensed that she had come without delay to the columned hall upon receiving news that I awaited her there.
¡°Take these, and clean them,¡± she said, handing off a shield and sword to one young woman. Another assisted her in removing her breastplate, gauntlets and girdle. ¡°Tell Freyr I will attend him shortly in the council chamber.¡±
The entourage and clatter seemed to evaporate as quickly as it had arisen, and I hastened to rise and bow to my Lady as she approached my seat in the alcove.
¡°You are the girl of Skogtarn-i-Sor, then?¡± she began abruptly when I had arisen from my deep curtsey.
¡°I am, my lady.¡±
¡°Be seated. I am tired from a long night battle, and a long ride home; I wish for you to sit with me while we speak.¡±
I nodded my head and did as she bade me.
¡°So, you have not only shut yourselves in, but have you lost the power of speech as well?¡± she quipped when I offered no reply.
¡°Oh, no, my lady. No, we¡I¡¡± I floundered for something intelligent to say, but continued to be at a loss. To go in half a week¡¯s time from a sheltered girl in a small village afraid of the Gods¡¯ vengeance should I venture beyond the wall to an audience with the great Lady Freya herself was more than I could navigate. She seemed to read this in my face, and her tone softened.
¡°You must wonder why I called you here,¡± she offered, and I felt a slight easing of the tension in my chest and forehead. ¡°I am looking for news of Skogtarn-i-Sor. It is the last Hostel Town on the South Pilgrimage Road, but was long ago besieged by Knut Jormundgandson in retribution for his father¡¯s ; all my warriors have been unable to gain entry to the town; even my Skogkatts could not surmount its strange walls, which seemed to grow up overnight when Knut encircled the town. The Norns told me that one day a girl would come to Sessrumnir from Skogtarn-i-Sor, and that when she did, I should seek her out. She would be able to tell me how to reclaim the town.
¡°You are the first to arrive in these many years; so now I ask you, how it it in my lost town of Skogtarn-i-Sor?¡±
¡°I am not the first to leave Skogtarn-i-Sor, my lady. I came out in search of my sister Brenna, who left the day before me.¡±
¡°Well, if she came to Sessrumnir, word of it did not reach my ears. You, Astrid, are the lady of whom they spoke.¡±
¡°And the town which should have welcomed your pilgrims has instead blocked their path and sent them away for all these years!¡± I exclaimed. I told her then how it was in Skogtarn-i-Sor: the merchant¡¯s square outside of the town, the strict criteria for admission to the inner town, the taboos against even venturing too near the gates, and the expectation and rituals around the Day of the Labyrinth. I told about Unn, and the magic that was suppressed within the town.
¡°It is because of Knut: his enchanted wall keeps my magic out,¡± she said. She loosened her braid and shook her head gently to demonstrate, and a cascade of flowers fell from her hair. As she rebound her braid, I asked another question:
¡°How is it, then, that the first and last daisies were able to bloom?¡±
¡°It is for the same reason that you are the one who came here to Sessrumnir. You are one of mine, Astrid, and you carry my magic within you. When you took those daisies for Unn, you reawakened in them that which Knut had set to sleep.¡±
¡°But I¡¯ve never had any magic, my lady!¡± I protested.
¡°Ah, but we all have magic within us, my dear. It is only a question of if and how it will be awakened.¡±
¡°So¡Skogtarn-i-Sor was meant to succor pilgrims, and instead we have turned them away and prevented them from reaching you all these years. Everything I have believed and lived has been a lie. My lady, I don¡¯t know what to say.¡±
¡°It is not your fault Astrid, nor even the fault of your Sisters and Village Elders. They have all been tricked by Knut.¡± Now Freya stood up and seemed to be thinking aloud.
¡°The grandson of Loki will be expecting a frontal assault,¡± she mused, ¡°So a direct attack will not succeed against the wall.¡±
¡°So you cannot open the Labyrinth Gate?!¡± I asked, incredulous.
¡°Believe it or not¡no. I cannot. Believe me, I have tried.¡±
¡°How was I able to open it, then?¡±
¡°Because, Knut is defending it from the outside, my dear. He did not consider an escapee from the inside to be a threat.¡±
¡°And so¡the Day of the Labyrinth,¡± I asked, ¡°Is that a lie too?¡±
¡°Oh no, my dear,¡± said Freya. ¡°The Day of the Labyrinth has already come and gone.¡±
¡°How can that be?!¡± I asked.
¡°Did you not come through the gate, Astrid, and find your way through the Folkvangr to Sessrumnir?¡±
**********************************************************************
¡°Now it is up to you to choose,¡± Freya said. ¡°You are the girl that I was told would come, but there is no obligation upon you to participate further in this adventure. Your part can be finished, if you wish. I will give you my blessing and a small gift to set you up in whatever life you may choose: here in the city, or venturing out on any of the compass roads to make your own way in the world.
¡°Or, you may pledge yourself to me as my Shield Maiden, and join me in the work to be done at Skogtarn-i-Sor.¡±
It seemed as if each time I accepted one impossibility, a new one arose to take its place. Again I was speechless with wonder, and torn between my desire to find my sister, and my desire to join the Lady in rescuing my home town of Skogtarn-i-Sor. After a moment¡¯s reflection, I found my voice again:
¡°You honor me, Lady Freya, and I would love nothing more than to dedicate myself to this work¡but I have come to find my sister. There¡¯s so much I need to tell her¡I was so very wrong¡¡± The old stone in my stomach seemed to turn and grow, until it lodged itself in my throat, making me unable to speak or breathe. Freya¡¯s seated herself beside me now, put her arms around me and rested my head on her shoulder; years of grief and shame began to spill out of me in great, heaving sobs. I wondered how the great Lady could have so much time to lavish on me.
Although I did not voice, the question, Freya responded as if she had heard. ¡°Time is not what you think it is, little one. I have forever and a day for you, if you need it.¡± And just like that the passage was unblocked, and the pressure of my uncontrollable grief rushed out in one final burst and settled at a new level, like water behind a burst dam reclaiming its path in the old riverbed. A sense of comfort and protection enveloped me like nothing I had ever know. I had just one final question for my Lady:
¡°Will I find my sister?¡± I asked, ¡°Can you help me make things right for Brenna again?¡±
¡°I believe you will discover, as most of my pledged Maidens do, that all you need is to be found upon the Labyrinth Path.¡±
As she spoke the words, I knew them to be true: My path to Brenna was through service to Freya, Goddess of War, Magic, Beauty and Love. Without further hesitation, I knelt before her and made my pledge:
I have come from a closed world, but I open myself now to your instruction,
Goddess of War - teach me courage in the face of danger, and loyalty to my sisters in arms which transcends all fear;
Goddess of Magic - teach me to use my magic and to awaken in other the magic within;
Goddess of Beauty - teach me to see and celebrate beauty in all its forms, both the manifest and the hidden;
Goddess of Love - teach me to choose from Love in all I do, that my very life may be my service.
I forsake all claims and concerns of my life before, and offer myself wholly in service to you.
There was a brief silence, then Freya took my hand to lift me up.
Astrid of Skogtarn-i-Sor, I dub thee my Shield Maiden and a Lady of the Labyrinth, and hereby do charge you
To bring home to me all whom you can as meet them on your Path
For your journey, accept the armor, shield and sword of Freya¡¯s Guard
We who stand to be counted among the Warriors of the Light
Take the Heart Compass, to help you find your way whenever you are lost,
Both in this world and in the choices before you,
And Riodhr, the Unicorn, who will open in you the eye of Love and show you a new way to see the World,
And teach you to reflect back to the world the image of its own perfection for its healing.
A white mist now enveloped me, and solidified into armor on my body, a sheathed sword across my back, and a shield upon my left arm. Freya placed over my head and around my neck a beautiful golden chain on which was hung a pendant encrusted with four gems as on the points of a compass. A moonstone glowed at the center, and in each quadrant a rune was carved in ornamental script. From beyond the balcony, an equine whinny caught my ear, and I went over to see standing at the edge of the wood the most exquisite creature I had ever beheld.
I was surprised to hear his voice in my head:
¡°Astrid, you must come with me, now. Your teachers await you in the Ring Wood.¡±
The Ring Forest
Riodhr told me we were not going far, and so I chose to walk rather than accepting his offer to carry me. He pointed out a flickering red light, which I quickly discerned was a Skogkatt with a classic red tabby coat.
¡°His name is Sindri,¡± Riodhr told me, ¡°He¡¯ll show you where you need to go.¡±
¡°Aren¡¯t you coming with me?¡± I asked, concerned at thought of being separated from him.
¡°I will never be far from you if you need me,¡± Riodhr said, ¡°But I cannot assist you where you are going now, and so I shall leave you in Sindri¡¯s care.¡± And so I followed the cat.
Like the everything about Sessrumnir, though, the Ring Forest was larger than it appeared, and we traveled far enough that I was feeling the toll of a full morning¡¯s walk by the time arrived at the Fairy Circle - different from the first Fairy Circle - that was apparently our destination. Now, Sindri spoke to me:
¡°Astrid of Skogtarn-i-Sor, I welcome you on behalf of Freya¡¯s Guard. Your teachers will find you here; you must not leave this place until your lessons are done.¡±
¡°When will my teachers come?¡± I asked, suddenly alarmed as I realized I was to be left alone in the forest for an indeterminate amount of time.
¡°Your teachers will come when you are ready to learn, Astrid of Skogtarn-i-Sor,¡± the cat cryptically replied, and vanished¡leaving only his smile behind.
*************
I didn¡¯t understand what I was feeling at first; I had spent so long under a burden of guilt that almost all other emotion had paled by comparison. As if the guilt had been sitting on a nerve, and left me numb. Now, as I waited alone in the clearing, I became aware of a trembling in my hands, and rapidity in my breath, finally being born in an irritated exhalation of breath and a petulant stomping of my feet. I paced the ring in extreme irritation:
¡°Well, I¡¯m ready!¡± I called out, half expecting my teacher might be hiding behind a tree and feeling highly amused at my expense. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be here if I wasn¡¯t ready to learn.¡± I thought that should have been obvious, but apparently my teachers had their doubts.
I considered going back to the castle, but Sindri¡¯s instruction had been clear: I was to wait in the Fairy circle, and when I was ¡°ready¡± my teachers would come. Though how the teacher could determine my readiness was beyond me, since the teacher was nowhere to be found.
I spent along while alternating between furious pacing with mild expletives, interspersed with periods of peering through the trees to see if there was any sign of an approaching figure. At length, the light began to fall, however, and I began to wonder if I wasn¡¯t losing my mind.
¡°Maybe I¡¯d better go back to the castle,¡± I said to no one in particular, ¡°Perhaps my teachers don¡¯t know I¡¯m here already, or they aren¡¯t sure where to find me.¡± The sound of my own voice reinforced my growing conviction that this was, indeed, the thing to do, and I moved to step out of the Fairy Ring.
No sooner had my foot breached the inner circle when a dome of iridescent light sprang up all around me, and the ghostly figure of a girl appeared within it, pale as the day she had died.
¡°Unn!¡± I cried. ¡°Unn, are you my teacher?!¡± I didn¡¯t move, for fear I might lose her if I withdrew by so much as an inch.
¡°I am not your teacher,¡± she said, ¡°Your lessons with me were finished long ago. But I have a message for you, and it is this: once you leave this circle, there is no returning to this place and time. That is the meaning of the Labyrinth Path. Do not forsake the opportunity given to you again; it will not be offered a third time.¡±
The light faded, and with it the figure of Unn; I withdrew into the fairy circle to contemplate this strange vision, and sat down upon the mossy greens. As I sat, I began to notice the path I had trampled with my furious pacings about the circle: daisies crushed underfoot. I leaped up from my seat to see what other damage I might, in my self-centered mindlessness, have done while I paced looking outward for my tardy teachers. Suddenly, a familiar voice like a rush of wind through tall grasses came to me.
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She is close now, she is clear.
Can she hear us?
She is clossssse¡
Unn¡¯s message became clear to me: I had finished her lessons the night I left Skogtarn-i-Sor. ¡°You are my teachers now,¡± I whispered to daisies and their fairy-ring flower companions, ¡°Aren¡¯t you!¡±
Yessss! Yesssss!
She hears us, Yessss!
¡°I am here¡± I said.
Listen, listen. Look and see¡
A rush of grasses now stood and wove themselves together in spiraled weave, inviting me to rest upon their combined strength. I accepted the invitation and turned my attention again to the many blossoms and herbs I had crushed beneath my feet. In silence I witnessed the: one by one I spoke my apologies to them from my heart, and recalled to mind the beauty I knew the possessed; one by one, they lifted their faces to the quarter moon sky. By the time the stars began to fade, all the green things had been healed, and it looked as though I had never set foot on the fairy circle.
I was hungry, and some Strawberries called to me: I saw them blossom and grow and ripen sweet berries before my eyes. I accepted the gift with gratitude. I was tired, so the woven grasses expanded their circle of support and invited me to lie down and sleep; I gratefully put down my head and shut my eyes.
***************************************************
The sun was high in the sky when I finally awoke, and winked in the ripples of some water that had pooled where some large-leafed plants has wound themselves together to capture the early morning dew while I slept. Freya¡¯s advice to me came to mind: ¡°¡all you need is to be found upon the Labyrinth Path.¡± Gratefully I accepted this much-needed gift of water; then I turned my attention to a new problem which had literally arisen while I slept. Now, where the Fairy Ring had stood, I found myself surrounded by a high, smooth stone wall, like a round tower with neither doorway, stairway, roof or floor.
I had seen wonders enough in the past few days to accept this new situation without question and even with a measure of equanimity. I listened for the voices of my greenfriends, but they had gone silent; there were no more signs or guidance from the greens, just my woven bed of grasses. I sat down upon it to wait: when I was ready, my new teachers would find me.
Even so, I sat long enough that the impatience arose in me again: ¡°Perhaps I am meant to climb out somehow, or perhaps one of these stones is loose, and I can push my way out. This time, I was careful as I circled the ring, placing my feet where they would be easily borne by the plants underneath them. I was just as carefully in my search for handholds, footholds and loose stones in the tower construction, but I found nothing. The joints were so finely crafted they did not even need mortar, so perfectly milled that, once they met, there was no separating them again.
I placed my hands upon the stone once more, pushing to see if something might give way, knowing that nothing would. And while my hands were thus pressed into the cold smooth surface of the stone, I wondered aloud: ¡°What is it I am meant to learn here?¡±
As if my touch and question had activated the stones, I felt a tingling in my hands, and I heard a voice like along, rasping sigh:
Moooooooooovvvve¡
I jumped away in surprise! ¡°Move?¡± I repeated, but there was no reply; I put my hands upon the stone again, and the raspy voice echoed again in my head:
Move¡move¡move
Shift and slide, crack and glide
Move, move move.
Without knowing why I did so, I took up the stones¡¯ refrain with the next repetition:
Shift and slide
Crack and glide
Move, move, move¡
Shift and slide
Crack and glide
Move, move, move
I settled down again on my tufted grass perch, and listened again to discern what lessons the stones might have for me. The moment that I relaxed , the image of a stone arcade imprinted itself upon my inner vision, and as it did, so the stones began to shift before my very eyes. I watched in awe as the structure of my vision took shape before my eyes. When the work was done, I moved to the perimeter and passed easily beyond the fairy ring. It was no illusion: I was free!
¡°I thank you and honor you, ancient friends,¡± I said; an image of daisies appeared in my mind and carpeted the fairy circle as I stepped out of its boundary to where Riodhr awaited. I saw he was saddled and bridled this time.
¡°We have farther to go this time?¡± I queried?
¡°Are you ready to see your sister again?¡±
¡°Oh yes - let¡¯s go!¡±
Hearts Compass
In the days and weeks that followed, I became intimately familiar with the workings of the compass I wore. When I was hungry, it led me to food; when I was thirsty, we found water along our path; and when I was tired, it guided us to some good shelter or safe resting place. Many kind and helpful people seemed to populate our path, and I marveled at our luck and the progress of our journey. Day followed day, though, and what seemed at first good fortune began to feel like meandering that hindered our progress toward our objective: my sister. I began to complain as we traveled, but if Riodhr was irritated by my whining, he kept it to himself.
Then, one afternoon, we literally traced a circular path back around a village we had just passed through the day before.
¡°Oh, for Frigg¡¯s sake!¡± I exploded as I recognized the crossroads we had been at not 24 hours before. ¡°Riodhr, where are we going? How will we ever find my sister if all we¡¯re doing is going around in circles.¡±
¡°We won¡¯t,¡± he replied, without the least sign of impatience¡or concern.
¡°But we set out to find my sister,¡± I exclaimed, ¡°So how can we be retracing our steps - ground we¡¯ve already covered - I traveling toward her?¡±
¡°Ah, well that is a good questions,¡± Riodhr said, ¡°Now you¡¯re getting somewhere.¡±
I didn¡¯t appreciate the pun. ¡°Riodhr, I think I need to walk,¡± I said, ¡°to clear my head.¡±
He paused so I could dismount, and we walked some way in silence side by side. I held my heart¡¯s compass before me and watched the glow of the stones as a guide to where we should go, wondering what I could have missed in following them thus far. I was absorbed by the contemplation, and startled when Riodhr broke the silence.
¡°Astrid, do you remember what that compass is?¡± he asked me.
¡°It is my heart compass,¡± I answered, ¡°It guides me to whatever it is I seek.¡±
¡°Exactly,¡± he said, with an emphasis that left the single word there hanging in the air before me, like a ripe apple asking to be plucked.
The compass would guide me exactly to that which I sought, so¡
¡°If I let my mind wander, then the compass follows the course of my thoughts,¡± I exclaimed. ¡°When I become absorbed by my frustration with the meandering path¡¡±
¡°¡then the compass has no choice but to take you back over that very same path.¡± Riodhr finished for me.
Wow.
¡°So¡I must discipline myself!¡± I concluded, ¡°I must always be thinking of my sister so the Heart¡¯s Compass will lead me there.¡±
¡°Exactly.¡±
This time I admitted a small laugh, but only a small one, as another troubling thought came to me:
¡°That seems much more easily said than done,¡± I observed, ¡°How do I keep my mind from wandering?¡±
¡°That is where I can help you greatly,¡± Riodhr replied. ¡°You know the Unicorn¡¯s horn has healing powers, of course, but did you know it is also connected to the Universal Eye?¡±
¡°I¡¯ve never even heard of the Universal Eye. What is it?¡±
¡°Within each of us is a singular Eye of Love. When we activate this type of sight, we are able to connect to the vision of any other creature throughout space and time,¡± he explained.
¡°It¡¯s easier, of course, to connect to others whose Universal Eye is also clear and open, because they are consciously sharing their vision with all beings; but even those who still sleep, or who see through a wounded or clouded eye are available to us, and we can sometimes even become an instrument of healing for their sight.¡±
¡°So how can this Eye of Love help me?¡± I asked. ¡°What has it to do with keeping focus?¡±
¡°Because once you see your objective with the Eye of Love, the vision will be so beautiful and so compelling, that nothing will easily distract you from your objective again.¡±
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*********
I did as Riodhr instructed, and placing my hand at the root of the horn growing from his forehead, I was instantly swept away into a strange and wondrous vision. Before me stretched a vast and sandy beach, but with no ocean far away on the horizon I saw a thin ribbon of green. Approaching the green band, I soon discerned that it was a fertile river valley. Time passed rapidly, and day turned to night with a startling suddenness. A full moon was visible high in the sky, and from it a curious bright moonbeam seemed to catch the linen-draped curves of a giantess who wore the moon itself as her headdress.
¡°That is the goddess Hathor¡± Riodhr told me, ¡°And the building on which she stands is her temple.¡±
I looked downward and saw she stood upon a blocky building with a flat roof; its facade was a half-wall surmounted by stout pillars set into its face, and directly in the middle, a large doorway; light glowed between the pillars and spilled out of the doorway as if to light my path toward the entrance. As I started forward, Riodhr spoke one more time, halting me mid-step.
¡°Look at your compass now,¡± he said; and so I did, and I saw that at the center of the compass, the Moonstone now shone brightly, as if in sympathy with my vision.
¡°Whenever your moonstone fails to glow,¡± Riodhr explained, ¡°It is because your vision is not clear. So look one more time, and look well: fix this vision clearly in your heart and mind.¡±
Once again I did as he bade me, and I saw in the doorway the figure of a woman whom I knew could only be the woman I sought. I moved forward without thinking, calling her name: ¡°Brenna!¡± but the vision faded as soon as I moved away from Riodhr, and I was again in our night camp, but this time with a clear vision for my path.
Find the temple of Hathor, and I would find my sister again.
From that today on, I cultivated a practice of clarifying my vision and strengthening my focus. I found a blank book and in it I began to record anything that could help me: over and over I drew the temple, the goddess and the doorway with it¡¯s beloved silhouette. Sometimes words would come to me as I drew, and these I recorded as well. Often, these turned out to be the names of towns and helpers along our path. I did this especially when I found myself weary or discouraged by the length of the journey, and noticed the moonstone¡¯s light beginning to fade; over time, the light became steady and bright, and though our way was long, I never feared we were lost along the way. By the time we reached the oceanless sands of Egypt and I saw the familiar green line upon the horizon they were so familiar to me that my arrival felt almost like coming home.
*********
I did not need Riodhr to tell me that this next phase of my journey must be undertaken on foot and alone. I dismounted when we reached the perimeter of the temple grounds, and I approached the dark doorway beneath the light of a waxing moon. As in my dream, my sister came to greet me at the doorway.
¡°I knew you were coming,¡± she said when we were close enough to speak without shouting.
¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± I replied.
¡°I know,¡± she said, and embraced me with such strength I thought I might die of sorrow for having shut myself away from her for so long. I felt the old stone¡¯s weight suddenly with a force I had not noticed in many a month, and I felt it grow warm as well in my breast. Brenna pulled out of the embrace then, and looked at me oddly. She next placed her hand over my heart, where the heat and heaviness were now becoming almost unbearable, and left it there some minutes without speaking. I saw a beautiful symbol appear upon her forehead etched in light even as I felt her vision penetrating into my heart.
I wanted to hide my unworthiness, then, but I had opened myself already and all my secrets were available to her through the vision of the Universal Eye. I felt the weight shifting as she tested it and explored it, and I deplored it but relinquished myself to the truth of how I had betrayed her. To my surprise, I felt the weight suddenly shift, and move through the wall of my body into her hand. To my surprise, there appeared in her hand a beautiful statuette of gold inlaid with precious stones, bearing likeness and names of herself and Unn. Somehow she had reached inside of me to take away what I thought was an ugly burden of guilt¡and revealed to me that it was a treasure beyond compare.
She brought me into the temple then, and began to show me the ways of her world. Hathor was a goddess of the sky, she explained, and Great Mother of Egypt, connected to the cycles of the river Nile and of the land. She had been initiated into Hathor¡¯s service, and was bound to the temple now, so she could not come home with me to the North, but she was happy and I would not again interfere with her happiness. That lesson, at least, I had learned.
I spent some weeks there, getting to know her world and her new friends; I even noticed the suggestion of a special friendship that might blossom into something more, and was rewarded by her confirming blush when I asked about the young man. But there was no hurry about it, I sensed, as she went about her temple duties - she served primarily as a teacher for the children of the village - and in time my own sense of unfinished business roused me to action. As a Lady of the Labyrinth Way, I was not destined to be bound to a single place and time, and my time here in Hathor¡¯s temple was drawing to a close.
On the day of my departure, Hathor¡¯s mentor called me in for an audience, and presented me with a gift from the temple: a bracelet in the shape of a coiled snake, very like the Uraeus that adorned Hathor¡¯s own crown.
¡°Your sister cannot go with you to face what lies ahead, but she has asked us to give you Hathor¡¯s blessing for your return. Hathor has smiled upon her request,¡± she said, fastening the bracelet up on my shield arm. ¡°Call upon Hathor in Brenna¡¯s name, and she will not fail to answer you in your hour of need.¡±
Sad as I was to be leaving my sister, the call of my path was undeniable; and I set forth with a lighter heart than I had known in many, many a year. The miles seemed to fly by as Riodhr bore me north toward the wall of Skogt?rn-i-S?r.
Jormundgandson
With my objective now clear, my return along the north road was speedy and direct by comparison with the route that had brought me down to Egypt. The moonstone at the center of my Compass still glowed steady and bright. Nonetheless, it was a long trip by any estimation, and Riodhr took the opportunity to share more visions of the history of Skogt?rn-i-S?r along the way.
The days of this story are lost in the mists of time, but in the sight of the Universal Eye, time itself holds no meaning, so I saw the events as if I were there myself:
The village was smaller then, and there was no wall around it. The only buildings I recognized were an old section of the Town Hall, and a modest stone shrine to our Lady Freya which stood on the common. It was morning in my vision, and a group of merry travelers were making their way forth from the village heading north toward Sessrumnir. Cries of ¡°Farewell!¡±, ¡°Sessrumnir welcomes you!¡± and ¡°Our Lady¡¯s blessing go with you!¡± filled the air. It was, as the Lady Freya had said, a joyful last stop for pilgrims along the road to Sessrumnir.
The scene shifted suddenly: a different season, a setting sun betrayed the passage of some time. A slight aura of decay on some of the buildings seemed to indicated the village might have fallen on some harder times. In this vision, another band of travelers appeared, but these were new arrivals to the town. The exhaustion of a long day¡¯s journey was written in their posture and weary faces, and they were covered with the grime of the road. I recognized the pleated linen robes as those customarily worn in Egypt, and their sleek black hair was adorned with thin headbands in the shape of snakes, and the phases of the moon were embroidered upon their cloaks. Hathor¡¯s devotees, then. They had with them a beautiful white heifer who followed docilely on a slim silver chain, and inquired where they and the heifer might find rest for the night.
Immediately, an innkeeper - a widow, judging by the gray veil she wore - stepped forward and offered lodging for them in her in, and a space in her stable for the cow. ¡°Or, you may pasture her on the common if you prefer - it is quite safe here and in the heat of late summer, less likely to be swarmed with flies.¡±
¡°Hilde! Be silent!¡± a voice thundered; as its owner descended the town hall steps to move toward the group of travellers and their would-be hostess, the crowd parted for him. ¡°These Hathor-worshipers are not welcome in Skogt?rn-i-S?r!¡±
¡°But brother Hjalmar, where will they stay?¡± Hilde protested.
¡°That is not our concern,¡± Hjalmar responded stonily, ¡°But it will not be in Freya¡¯s town, that I do know.¡±
¡°But we are on our way to Sessrumnir,¡± the leader of Hathor¡¯s pilgrims explained, ¡° We are seeking an audience with Freya herself. We even bear her a gift,¡± she said indicating the heifer.
Another elder of the town now spoke up, and their was venom in his voice, ¡°A likely story,¡± he said, ¡°Spies is what you are! And no spies will find succor under our roofs!¡± It was then that I noticed a darkly hooded figure moving through the crowd, and I noticed a thin tendril of smoke that seemed to trail from him to the elder who had just spoken; as he moved, the tendril wound itself around more and more of the villagers, and angry voices of agreement began to rise in the crowd.
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I asked Riodhr about this mysterious figure, and he complimented my observation; ¡°That,¡± he said, ¡°Is your problem: Jorgmundgandrsson himself - sowing fear among the villagers of Skogt?rn-i-S?r.¡±
Hilde was not so easily cowed, though, and she stood up to the elders. ¡°We are a town that welcomes the pilgrims of Sessrumnir, and are you great warriors afraid of a few slight women from the south? Shame on you,¡± she said. ¡°I will take these women into my inn for the night, and they can be on their way in the morning.¡± And so the matter ended for the moment, with Hilde giving shelter to the pilgrims of Egypt, and the old men withdrawing to take their council against her around a tankard of ale¡or three or four.
***********
After Hilde and her guests had gone their way, Hjalmar called for a council in the Hall; and so the villagers grumbled while the visitors slept.
¡°We have seen these strangers come in, unkempt and unannounced,¡± he said, ¡°and they claim they come to pay homage to Freya while wearing the adornments of another goddess!
¡°I tell you: they seek no such thing! They are spies sent to scout our towns and roads and lands. If we let them pass, it is not Freya¡¯s honor they will bring upon us, but the armies of Egypt in a locust horde! We must turn them back now, before it is too late.¡±
¡°Even now they may be sneaking away into the night,¡± chimed in another voice.
A cacophony of voices mingled in calls of ¡°Hear hear!¡± and, ¡°Turn them away!¡± and , ¡°That¡¯s the truth!¡±
A younger man¡¯s voice arose now above the crowd: ¡°But how shall we turn them away?¡± he asked, ¡°We cannot force them back onto the south road all the way to Egypt: they will simply circumvent the village and continue on their path.¡±
It seemed a good question to the increasingly drunken crowed, and the villagers took turns batting it around.
¡°Send a delegation,¡± said one, ¡°to make sure they turn back.¡±
¡°Send a guard forward with them, to stop the from spying,¡± offered another; this suggestion was loudly booed.
¡°I really think we¡¯re overreacting a bit,¡± said the young man who raised the question of logistics, ¡°I mean, Freya is hardly a helpless maiden! Even if the so-called pilgrims of Freya are false, god help them when they go up against the Goddess of War!¡±
A chorus of agreement rose heartily around this sentiment, and I saw the hooded figure of Jormundgandson again - this time with an annoyed look on his face as he realized he was losing the crowd to the logic of Freya¡¯s young champion. He decided to risk directly addressing the crowd.
¡°Or you could be under-reacting,¡± he said, pointing an accusing finger at the young man, ¡°Why do you have such sympathy for these strangers, eh?¡±
The accusation had the desired effect, and paranoia again began to take hold of the villagers¡¯ imagination.
¡°He¡¯s right, he¡¯s right.¡±
¡°Why do you want to let them pass, Erik?¡±
¡°To arms, to arms - we must drive them out tonight!¡±
Jormundgandson spoke again, ¡°But the young man does raise a good question: if you drive them South - how will you ensure they do not pass by another route?¡±
¡°We¡¯ll post a guard.¡±
¡°I have a better solution,¡± he said. ¡°You go now and chase them South¡but keep the Heifer and bring her to me when you return. Do this, and I shall use Hathor¡¯s own power against her, to build a wall her army shall never pass, nor any man tear down.¡±
¡°Yes, yes!¡±
¡°Bring the heifer!¡±
¡°To arms!¡± and
¡°Chase the infidels away!¡±
And so the pilgrims of Hathor were driven that night from Skogt?rn-i-S?r, and the beautiful white heifer was given to the old hooded man. As soon as it was presented to him, he sloughed off his cloak and human form like a molted snake-ski to reveal his true form, and swallowed the heifer whole. Feeding on the heifer, Jormundgandson then grew rapidly in size, and encircled the village completely, out to the impassable hills that flanked it on either side of the valley. Biting his own tail, he sank into the earth and stone by stone the wall of Skogt?rn-i-S?r rose over the foundation of his body.
And that is how Skogt?rn-i-S?r was lost.
Return of the Queen
Darkness descended upon my vision as we drew near to Skogt?rn-i-S?r. I found the blindness unsettling, but Riodhr assured me that I had lost nothing: I was merely unaccustomed to dealing with hostile darkness like that of Jormundgandson, whose domain we now approached. I asked if this was why Unn had been unable to connect with the living things of the village, and Riodhr confirmed the connection.
Riodhr had also indicated the darkness could be pushed back, with effort and intention. I began to focus on the light: the now-waxing moon, the glow of my Heart¡¯s Compass, and all sources of light that attracted me. Slowly, my inner sight began to return: indistinct and incomplete at first, but recognizable, and with brief moments of absolute clarity.
It was a vision of my parents that finally parted the clouds.
A second scene followed close upon this, while I was still overwhelmed with emotion and before I could block it out: my parents, arguing bitterly.
My father was insisting that he - they - should go out after us, beyond the wall. Should try to bring us back.
My mother merely looked at him with a strange mixture of rage and sorrow, and between gasping sobs she told him what they both believed: ¡°It¡¯s too late for them, Knut.¡± Her eyes said she blamed him for our disappearance; his stooped shoulders and hollow eyes said he agreed with the indictment. I could barely stand to see how my powerful papa had withered from within.
¡°It was my job to protect them,¡± he said, ¡°and I failed¡¡±
A second vision followed quickly on the first, almost before I could gather my defenses against it. I saw my father standing amongst the villagers, his shoulders still bowed and his head hung in disgrace as the signet and robe of a village elder were stripped from him while the Village Chief explained his shame to the assembled crowd: to have lost not one but two daughters to the Outside World¡to the Skogkatts¡this was a sure sign of his unfitness to lead in the village:
¡°If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of Freya¡¯s people?!¡±
The vision faded and left me drained in a way I had never imagined I could be tired.
Helpless to dispel my parents¡¯ sorry, I raged against the knowledge of it instead: ¡°Let me die now, Riodhr, if this is what my vision gives me!¡±
I did not feel guilt - that had been alchemized out of me at Hathor¡¯s temple by my sister¡¯s forgiving touch - but the unadulterated sorrow struck a crippling pain through me, so I could not imagine ever moving again. Even drawing a breath was a sharp pain I wished to avoid.
¡°Focus on that which you wish to heal,¡± Riodhr advised, and so I did¡one breath at a time.
By morning, I was able to stand, don my armor and ride to the southern perimeter of the Skogt?rn-i-S?r wall.
************
Once again, the arrival at this wall seemed anticlimactic by comparison to all that led up to it. Both the Market and Labyrinth gates were located in the north perimeter, accessible only to the people of the Folkvangr, so there was nowhere I could seek entry to the town from this position. Nor did I imagine I would be granted access to the town, even if I were able to reach one of the gates. Instead, I decided to do the only thing that had ever worked for me when I didn¡¯t know what else I could possibly do: I sat quietly and waited for whatever ¡°teachers¡± might show up. It took until nightfall for them to arrive, but I was not disappointed when they did.
High above Skogt?rn-i-S?r, a full moon was bright in the sky; I smiled to recognize Hathor¡¯s form in the constellations and moonbeams above me, and a particularly bright one directed my eye to a place where it picked out a rune hidden in the texture of the wall. ¡°Touch me,¡± I read aloud, and placed my hand up on the stone. I felt a slight buzzing when I first touched the wall, then silence. Walking along the wall, I continued to trail my hand searching for any sign of response from the stones, but everywhere the silence was as dark as a the first. It struck me that the silence was almost too complete¡that even in repose, the stones should not be so completely dark and devoid of life, and I tried to look into the stones beyond the dark curtain. This new pressure brought forth a quick response¡but not from the stones.
Beneath my feet, a dark smoke began to curl and coil, arising from beneath the foundation of the wall; I fell back from my position, and at Riodhr¡¯s urging, remounted on his back. The smoke began to coalesce quickly into a writhing serpentine body large enough to encircle the entire wall, and a flat, broad serpent¡¯s head began flicking a dark tongue out in search of my heat.
¡°Who dares disturb my watch?¡± hissed Jormundgandson. ¡°Who dares speak to the stones of my wall? No Southerner may pass my wall!¡± he hissed.
¡°And I am no Southerner,¡± I declared; surprised by my own boldness, yet compelled to continue, I added, ¡°I am Astrid of Skogt?rn-i-S?r, daughter of this city, and Lady of the Labyrinth. I command you now to open the Pilgrimage Road!¡±
I sensed Jormundgandson¡¯s assessment as he probed me for any hint of deception. At last he admitted: ¡°So you are, Astrid of Skogt?rn-i-S?r. And so you may have¡passage for yourself alone¡as a daughter of the city. But you cannot command me against the charge of the Elders, little girl alone. Who are you to undo what they have commanded?¡±
¡°I may be alone, but do not mistake me for a girl. I am a shield maiden of Freya,¡± I challenged him, ¡±And in Freya¡¯s name I command you to give me the road, and release the stones of Skogt?rn-i-S?r to me.¡±
At this, Jormundgandson began to writhe with rage, and I felt his grip break from over the stones, which had been listening to me all along. Now they broke out in joyous response: ¡°We hear you, we hear you!¡± they said, ¡°Now show us where you want us to go!¡± Before my eyes, the entire wall began to glow, and the stones began to lift away from one another with centuries of pent up energy.
Before I could command them, however, a new threat from Jormundgandson drew my attention away. Even diminished as he was, Jormundgandson was a formidable foe, and struck at me repeatedly. I defended myself with my sword, and Riodhr moved quickly to evade the vicious attacks. Again and again he missed, and even I was astonished.
¡°Freya protects you well,¡± he acknowledged, and withdrew when he saw he could not touch me this way. ¡°So have your road and have our stones¡but you shall have no pilgrims along the South Road, oh Astrid of Skogt?rn-i-S?r, unless you are Hathor¡¯s champion as well!¡± And with that, he abandoned the solid snake form with which he tried to attack me, and with breathtaking speed a dark vapor sped upward to swallow the crown of Hathor herself: in an instant, the full moon¡¯s light was blotted from the sky.
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Without her crown, Hathor¡¯s power would be weakened, leaving her lands and peoples vulnerable in the south, weakening the link from Hathor¡¯s Temple to Sessrumnir¡leaving my beloved sister Brenna at risk.
¡°You mistake me once again, o Wise One,¡± I mocked him, ¡°For I come from Hathor¡¯s court as well. Hathor, I call on you now in the name of Brenna of Skogt?rn-i-S?r: come forth and defend your own! Reclaim your crown from the Jormundgandson, the pretender and the usurper of your crown.¡± I cast down the bracelet from my shield arm, and instantly a golden serpent sprang to life; as quickly as Jormundgandson had swallowed the moon, so quickly did Hathor¡¯s golden serpent take him by the tail and swallow him whole, forcing him to release Hathor¡¯s crown as she constricted herself around his darkness.
As the last bit of his darkness disappeared, I was surprised to see a white heifer also popped out; she, however, seemed to take it all in stride, and walked calmly down some invisible hillside to continue her interrupted dinner of grass from the lush green common at the heart of the town.
Two great figures now approached the town, each one at least fifty feet tall: Hathor from the south, and Freya from the north. Falling into a trance, the goddesses spoke as if with one voice to the dark serpent trapped and suspended between them in midair:
Who do you think you are, little snake?
The son of a trickster I say.
What do you think you can really take
From the Queen of the Cosmos?
I watched you with unsleeping eyes,
And sent my daughters to test your heart
And you slithered in with your fear and lies
To tear my dominion apart.
Son against mother, and father against all
Daughters fleeing from the wicked wall
Kill the communion and shatter the grail
Darkness to darkness¡destined to fail
Begone from my kingdom
Go back to your own, Jormundgandson
Go back to from whence you came and
Never darken my dominion again
And that is how Skogt?rn-i-S?r was saved.
**********
The trance departed from the goddesses, and the golden bracelet fell back to the ground at my feet, where I stared at it with a kind of stupefied fascination. The stones, meanwhile, still hung expectantly in midair, and as my eyes followed the graceful spiral of the golden coil, the stones themselves took the cue. Suddenly, a wonder of beautiful spiraled columns, graceful archways and delicate spires full of light filled my inner vision, and so they formed a gorgeous arcaded thoroughfare through the very heart of the town from the South Road to the Labyrinth Gate. The gate itself had opened up into an archway, and the forest drew back to reveal a restored and gleaming Pilgrimage Road.
The work of rebuilding wall into a ceremonial pathway and accommodations for pilgrims was done almost instantaneously, and the Goddesses vanished as soon as the work was done. The villagers had hidden inside during the great battle with Jormundgandson, but the brilliant lights and the jubilant energy of the stones and living things released at long last from Jormundgandson¡¯s oppression drew them irresistibly out into the streets, and what they found was me, in my brilliant Shield Maiden¡¯s armor, standing at the heart of a village miraculously transformed and gleaming with light.
¡°Freya, Freya!¡±
¡°It¡¯s Freya¡±
¡°It¡¯s the Day of the Labyrinth! Come see!¡±
To my surprise, Freya instructed me not to correct their misperception, but to deliver a message on her behalf, instead.
Beloved people of Skogt?rn-i-S?r, hear me now!
The crowd was instantly, almost disturbingly silent.
These many years ago, your village was lost to me. At a moment of great triumph, when I made ready to welcome the envoys of the Goddess Hathor to my halls at Sessrumnir, the liar Jormundgandson sowed seeds of fear and hatred among you, and tricked you into allowing the creation of a wall that divided our dominions, just when we were about to unite them in friendship and alliance that would bring prosperity to all.
The Day of the Labyrinth has come and gone, and those who were meant to go to Sessrumnir have done so. It is not for you to come¡not yet, anyway. Instead, I charge you to make of Skogt?rn-i-S?r what it was always meant to be: the chief gateway to Midgard, and a celebrated host to its pilgrims, the chief jewel in the ring of Sessrumnir. Make me this oath of service!
And in unison, three times, the people of Skogt?rn-i-S?r did make their oath. It was a this solemn moment that the imperturbable cow wandered nonchalantly up to front of the Town Hall where I was addressing the crowd, and suddenly her purpose, too, became clear to me.
As a covenant between our realms, Hathor has entrusted to me Bat the heifer. As part of your oath, I charge you now with her care and keeping. For as long as she consents to stay with you, consider yourselves blessed, but should she ever leave you beware, for I will know it means you have broken your oath to me, and I will find a service more suited to your fearful and hateful hearts.
Immediately, Corrinne stepped forward and began organizing the sisters in a plan to create a suitably grand and comfortable accommodation for Bat the Heifer; and I knew in time, they would manage to distort her care into some new ritual that bore no resemblance to the normal and comfortable life of a cow. So long as they did it with love, though, it would probably be alright. After all, if the ancient heifer wasn¡¯t perturbed by a score or more of centuries in the belly of a dark serpent¡I didn¡¯t imagine the people of Skogt?rn-i-S?r could drive her off.
************
After the assembly, my first thought was to find my parents and reassure them that everything was alright. The first one who waylaid me, however, was Sassa - the mother of Unn. ¡°Lady Freya¡¡± she said, putting her hand on my sleeve.
In this intimate moment, I turned and she could see my face; her eyes went wide when she recognized me, and I could see she was about to announce me to the entire village.
¡°Sassa¡no. You are not to tell them what they have not seen for themselves.¡± I instructed her; and she turned back toward me with a quizzical look.
¡°Sassa, a prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home. You are not from here - that is why you can see who I am.¡±
¡°Oh,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Well, I am glad to see you again, dear Astrid. I have felt so terrible, knowing how I blamed you for Unn¡¯s death, I probably drove you away¡¡±
¡°I know something of that myself. I am going to give you something better than the guilt you carry in your heart like a stone,¡± I said, and placing my hand on her heart I drew out a beautiful little figurine of three laughing children: Unn, and Brenna and me. ¡°Look how beautifully you have treasured us in your heart!¡± I said, exclaiming at the exquisite piece as I offered it to her.
¡°Oh, Astrid! What have you done? My heart feels so light.¡±
¡°Then you can hear it now, can you?¡±
¡°I can¡I can hear¡¡±
¡°You can hear someone calling you from Sessrumnir, dear Sassa.¡±
¡°My Unn? She is alive and well in Sessrumnir?¡±
¡°You have been here long enough, Sassa. Go to her now! And Godspeed to you.¡±
And with a brief, fierce hug, Sassa was gone.
***********
I made my way through the crowd without further recognition, dispensing perfunctory blessings on babies and villagers who approached me with reverence I loathed, instead of recognition and welcome that I craved. I found my parents at the outskirts of the crowd, sitting together in shadow and holding each other in wordless grief. When I approached to speak with them, they could not even meet my gaze.
My heart broke, but I spoke to them lovingly from within the disguise of Freya.
¡°You are not joining in the work with the villagers,¡± I said. ¡°Why not?¡±
¡°We are not worthy of this work,¡± my father said.
¡°My lady, how can you speak with us thus? Surely you know our daughters defied you¡¡±
¡°I know no such thing,¡± I replied. ¡°I know your daughters are waiting for you, if you will only go to find them. The wall, as I said, was never of my choosing or making.¡±
My parents at least met each others gaze at this, and my mother looked up at me after receiving a wordless assent from my father.
¡°You speak the truth - you do not mock us?¡± she said in amazement.
¡°You must take the road south to to Hathor¡¯s temple in Dendara. This is the beginning of your mission.¡± I said. ¡°The rest of the mission you must discover for yourself. This Heart¡¯s Compass will help you find your way.¡±
I silently willed her to recognize me as I slowly removed the compass from around my neck and handed it too her, looking deeply into her eyes. Sassa had recognized me, after all, so why not my own mother? She took the compass with a smile, and bowed deeply, reverently to me.
¡°My lady, we will accept this mission. We are forever in your service¡and in your debt.¡±
And I was only a little bit heartbroken as they walked away; because I knew that, in time, the compass would bring them back to me.