ã€ŠDaughter of the Apocalypseã€‹


 Chapter 1: Estil

    The night was too bright, but I promised my legion, and their lady would keep her word. It was not wise to refuse them.

    My fingers buried in thick fur, holding myself to the lycan¡¯s back as he bounded between eastern pines. We kept to moon cast shadows, the canine¡¯s steps silent on the forest floor as we crept towards the town. He halted at the treeline and surveyed the wall walk before sprinting across the open space. Even the soot and ash he covered himself in could not completely mask the shining white of the albino¡¯s pelt.

    Long claws sunk easily into the soft wood, allowing the canine to scale the wall. His broad shoulders and bulging muscles had little trouble with our weight, though I doubted he would show it if they did. Lycans didn¡¯t tolerate weakness, not from their alpha, and not from their leader.

    The walk was deserted. Perhaps the guards had abandoned their posts, though it was possible none were assigned to this remote corner. My scouts had noted their forces were concentrated at the gatehouses near the entrance.

    They thought their wall of pointed logs impenetrable, simply because they could not climb it themselves. They should have known better. After all, it wasn¡¯t built for humans.

    My companion knelt, allowing me to step soundlessly into the rough sawn timbers of the walk. I turned to look over the sleeping town.

    Estil was a new settlement, built after the fall of the old world and built from the timbers they milled. Over the years, it had grown to Askance¡¯s northernmost trading town, rich and with storehouses full of goods from the smaller settlements bordering my territory.

    I heard the streets were often busy, and the markets crowded, though never visited myself to confirm. It had been years since I walked among humans. Not since they mistook my panicked warnings of my curse for a disease and thrown me to the wilderness to die.

    Estil was quiet now. All the border towns were in the wake of winter and the anticipation of the first harvest.

    A slight bump to my shoulder brought my attention to my companion. Haunting red eyes with a crimson pupil met mine. The trait gave him the name Blood Eye, though I preferred one of my own choosing.

    ¡°Ready, my lady?¡±

    Cerberus¡¯s voice was rough, deeper than a human¡¯s and with an unnatural gravel to it. It was a voice more suited to a bark or growl than words.

    I adjusted the mask on my face. The hardened leather shone silvery under the half-moon¡¯s light, a fitting image for the white wolf it represented. Only my mouth and chin were visible beneath. ¡°How many?¡±

    ¡°Two hundred and thirty.¡±

    I raised my brows. ¡°The females came?¡±

    He huffed. ¡°Cubs need easy prey.¡±

    I glanced over the town again. Smoke curled from chimneys, flavoring the air with the scent of pine wood. ¡°Then tonight will be a learning experience for many.¡±

    Cerberus threw his head back and howled. The sound echoed over the mountain forests, a single, pure note, deeper and more ominous than a wolf.

    Silence.

    Then shouts came from the gatehouses on the other end of town. More from the sparse pockets of guards dispersed along the town¡¯s edge. Their warnings were of little use. No sooner was the pack spotted then it came barreling over the wall, mowing down all those who stood in its way. With the size and strength of a bear, any one of my canine legion was easily worth four human soldiers.

    I swung on my companion¡¯s back. Cerberus leapt from the walk to nearby stairs, clearing them in a matter of seconds to land on the muddy ground. Puddles from the previous day¡¯s storm spattered mud across my legs, but the black leather of my clothing kept the worst of the wet off me.

    My mount slid to a halt on the town square''s slick ground. I liked to think I cut an impressive figure, sitting astride the massive alpha while my legion tore the doors from shops and houses. Before us stood the stage towns used for announcements and public displays, newly built by the unweathered wood. Near the rear sat a high-backed chair, no doubt for the town''s leader during such events. A man stood in front of it, barking orders to the panicked soldiers below.

    "Stand and fight! Don''t think these monsters invincible!" From his coat pocket he pulled a bent piece of metal which I recognized as an old world technology. ¡°The Lady of the Lycan Mountains has no claim here.¡± A loud bang echoed through the town square. One of my lycans fell, howling in pain.

    "A gun!" I spit the word like a curse. Working guns were rare, but not unheard of, and were one of the few weapons capable of stopping a lycan in its tracks. However, his second shot was nothing more than a hollow click. Only one bullet, it seemed.

    I once again slid from Cerberus''s back to make my way up the stairs. The official turned. I wondered if he was the mayor of the town. Most likely, the captain of the guard would be closer to the gates. He scrambled to point the gun at my chest. My steps didn''t falter.

    "See, that''s the useful thing about lycans," I purred. "They don''t run out of bullets."

    The man paled under his graying beard, lowering the now useless weapon. "You can have anything you want." He nearly whispered it.

    I frowned. "I already knew that. Right now, I want to hear you begging for your life."

    He dropped the gun and fell to his knees. "Please spare me."

    "Louder. I can''t quite hear you over the sound of people dying."

    "Please spare me!" he cried.

    Yes, that was exactly what I had said. The fear in his eyes was exactly the same as mine as I was tied to a tree in the mountains.

    "Funny you beg for your own life and not those of your people. Quite selfish, don''t you think?" I asked, pulling out my dagger from the sheath strapped to my thigh. His gaze followed my movements.

    "If I beg for their lives, will it save them?"

    "No," I said. "But it would be a kind gesture."

    "Please," he whispered, "what can I do to save myself?"

    Leaning forward, I pressed the tip of my dagger to his collar. The nose of my mask touched his. I savored the twisting of his features as his expression morphed into one of pure, untainted terror. "Nothing," I hissed, "you¡¯re just a pawn."

    He thought I was going to slit his throat, I could see it in his eyes, and for a moment, I considered it. But killing was far easier than that.

    I lifted my blade from his neck and replaced it in its sheath. One at a time, I pulled the fingers of my gloves. ¡°You¡¯ve convinced me,¡± I said, pulling them off and dropping them to the stage floor as I knelt to his level. My bare hands cupped his jaw. ¡°I¡¯ll spare you¡­¡±

    He believed it. Such an idiot.

    My lips pressed to his. He stiffened, then relaxed as my curse seeped in his veins. Truthfully, the touch of any skin was enough, but his beard was in the way. Besides, they always said the lips were a stronger high.

    My fingers hooked around his ears, nails digging into the skin behind them. His pulse raced under my fingertips. Eventually, like any other, he succumbed to the poison. It was never terribly long to overdose, not when it was their first time. His body went into shock, his lungs quit and I could no longer feel his breath on my face.

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    I released the mayor¡¯s corpse, allowing it to fall to the stage. They never fought. One touch, and they didn¡¯t want to.

    That pathetic man didn¡¯t deserve such a peaceful death, not after he shot one of my lycans. I should have just slit his throat. I turned to stand.

    A sword swung at my face.

    The soldier was thrown to the floor. He flipped to sit up. Heavy paws slammed into his knee with a sickening snap. The white lycan lunged for the man¡¯s sword arm. Bone was crushed in powerful jaws. The human¡¯s wailing silenced as his throat was caught in long teeth. His body thrashed against the wooden planks until the lycan stood, throwing him from the stage and well into the surrounding square, where he lay still in the mud.

    Cerberus was in my face in an instant. ¡°Watch yourself!¡± he barked.

    Blood spattered my cheek. For a moment, I was dizzy with shock. The albino¡¯s front was dyed with various shades of red and pink, and with a bipedal height over eight feet, he stood nearly a foot taller than the average lycan. Those vicious teeth bared under crimson eyes were enough to make even the most aggressive male submit.

    Then I recovered and slid my feet under me. I tried not to stumble as I made my way to the high-backed chair. It was exasperation that made me fall into the seat, not sudden exhaustion. I had seen my legion kill plenty of times before. This was nothing new. It didn¡¯t bother me.

    The Lady of the Lycan Mountains didn''t have such weaknesses.

    I tried to ignore the screams and the slow twist in my gut they caused. It didn¡¯t matter. They weren¡¯t me. I needed to look out for myself. It was always so much easier when they died quietly.

    It was best not to think about that.

    A white form moved beside me. "You should have used your dagger," Cerberus remarked, sniffing the official''s corpse at my feet.

    I scoffed. "I didn¡¯t want to get all bloody.¡± I glared at him.

    He snarled and met my stare, undaunted. I steeled my own expression, careful to keep steady contact. It was essential I didn¡¯t let him sense my unease or the way my heart faltered with every drop of red that fell from his stained jaws. He mustn¡¯t doubt my dominance, or that red could very well be mine.

    Finally, his gaze flicked away.

    I sighed and reached out to pat his head. My fingers worked behind his ears, much like I would a dog. Thick fur shielded his skin from my touch, denying him what he craved. An amused smile played across my face as his defiance dissolved and a thin line of drool dripped from his tongue. Only when I heard the beginnings of a whine on his breath did I relent and slipped my hand into his waiting jaws. He sighed as my drug-laced pores touched his tongue.

    That was why they named me ''Desire.''

    The screams of the remaining townsfolk eventually died down. After a while, I removed my hand from Cerberus''s mouth and searched the square. A large, black-furred male was chasing a woman through marketplace booths.

    ¡°Thorn!¡± I called.

    The male froze, ears swiveling my way. He stood up to look at me.

    ¡°Bring her to me. Not too injured.¡±

    Thorn nodded and bounded off to do my bidding. However, it was a chestnut female who brought the woman to me. Judging by his lack of aggression as he followed behind, she was likely one of his mates.

    The human tripped over the mayor¡¯s corpse, landing at my feet. I used the toe of my boot to lift her chin. She didn¡¯t look all that much older than me, a year or two at best, just a young woman. Her trembling brought a smile to my face.

    ¡°Do you want to survive?¡±

    She didn¡¯t answer, but her expression told me she didn¡¯t believe me. Good, she wasn¡¯t as stupid as her politician. I¡¯d hate to waste my mercy.

    ¡°Could you be a dear and tell Lord Perimone something?¡± I leaned until my mask¡¯s nose touched hers. ¡°I hate being ignored.¡± I fell back in the chair. ¡°And when I¡¯m ignored¡­ well, I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ll do just about anything for attention. If Estil isn¡¯t enough, I¡¯ll have to move onto a city. Selic perhaps? Riken?¡± I caught her eye. ¡°Obria?¡± Unfortunately, all posturing, if I could attack Obria, I would have burned that city to its foundations years ago. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯d really like him to know this was all his fault. Could you do that for me?¡±

    Again, she didn¡¯t answer, but her finding her feet was enough. A snap of my fingers caught the attention of a pair of youngsters.

    ¡°She leaves unharmed.¡±

    One waited at the edge of the stage¡¯s stairs for her to come. The other ran down the street, where I could just make out him and several others attempt to figure out the gears to the gate. They managed to open it by the time the woman and her escort reached them.

    My attention returned to the lycans. Thorn was watching Cerberus, who leaned against my seat with a dazed look. The female¡¯s eyes were fixed on my bare hands. I caught both¡¯s attention with a quick whistle.

    ¡°Everyone else?¡± I asked Thorn.

    His mouth opened in a canine grin. ¡°Dead.¡±

    ¡°Good. Then I suppose you want your reward?¡± I held out my hands. The lycans leapt to lick at my palms. I closed my eyes to the light just breaking over the mountainous horizon.

    I could control the lycans. I could demolish populations with ease. I could make anyone beg for their lives at my feet.

    I could rule the world.

    Then no one could ever chain me up again.

    ***

    They called it a kennel. They said it was for homeless dogs. I didn''t know what a dog was, not really. I had encountered a few feral mutts before, one bit me once and died. But, I didn''t know they were pets, that they could be nice.

    I didn''t know humans could be nice, either.

    Not that they ever were. Nice was the cockroaches moving as I was shoved to my knees in front of the open door. The cage''s ceiling was too low to stand, even as small as I was.

    "In," was all she said. I couldn''t see her face, but I knew her. Or, at least, I was familiar with this captor.

    But I didn''t want to go in. It was cramped and smelled. Mold grew around a window and water dripped from cracks in the concrete. In the corner there was a dead rat, bits of bone exposed where it had been partially eaten. Another lay in the window''s light, rotted and bloating in the summer sun.

    I didn''t get a warning.

    My head spun from the blow. My temple cracked against the hard floor, making the pain worse.

    "Get inside!" she screamed. My head was yanked back by my hair. She didn''t hold on for long.

    My captor fell back, choking and gasping for air. Spindly limbs thrashed against the floor. My poisonous blood stained her fingers. I backed away in horror as she struggled for breath.

    I was in so much trouble.

    I scrambled into the cage, curling into the smallest ball I could beside the eaten rat. Footsteps creaked the wooden staircase. This was bad, this was very, very bad.

    The woman¡¯s chest was still moving, though just barely. Maybe she would be okay. Maybe I hadn''t killed her. Maybe she would wake up happy and¡­

    She stilled just as the man rounded the corner. I couldn''t focus on his face. He was a hulking, shadowy figure. He saw her and came for me.

    His shriek hurt my ears. Hands reached through the door, grabbing my ragged dress and dragging me from the cage. I tried to scream, but my voice was caught in my throat.

    Ropes twisted about my limbs. I thrashed against them. There were hands everywhere. Hitting me. Grabbing me. Yanking at my arms and pulling my legs. Striking me across the face.

    There were three figures now. No, four. Seven? A dozen? The room was full of people.  The ropes grew tighter.

    I hadn''t meant to kill. I wanted to be good. I just didn¡¯t want to go in another cage! I didn''t want to be tied up again!

    ***

    I opened my eyes to see red orbs framed by pale fur glowing in the moonlight. I briefly wondered if my nighttime guard was concerned or simply drawn by my thrashing.

    Upon inspection, I saw I had torn the curtains which framed my bed from their posts. Some of the fabric entangled my leg. Such was why I avoided blankets while sleeping. During my rest was the only time I removed my mask and clothing, finding it¡¯s twisting too much to bear, like ropes tangling around me, holding me, trapping me¡­

    Was it a dream, or a memory? Did it matter? How many times had I been shoved in cages? A personal fix or an endless product, it made no difference. After a while, they all blended together.

    I kicked the fabric away. It didn¡¯t matter anymore. Keep the blankets off and I would be fine. Too often, the nightmares came anyway.

    They were just dreams.

    With the curtains gone, most of my skin was open for him to see. Of course, the lycan had crossed the distance he usually allowed me during my sleep. The temptation was enough for anyone to throw away the laws and morals they once held. I should know, I had seen it all my life.

    They hadn¡¯t all been that bad. A few of my captors were somewhat civil in the beginning. Before the addiction took over their minds and I became nothing more than a living fix, their only desire.

    Only after my banishment did I realize I could gain control with my curse. If Askance was threatened by my influence, I might as well influence it the way I wanted. I could be the most powerful leader the country had ever seen.

    But as I rolled over on my stomach, I didn''t feel powerful. I felt the same as I always had, afraid. Emotion bunched up in my throat. I buried my face in the fur coverings of my bed, trying to stifle any noises I may make.

    Weight pressed down on the side of my mattress. A clawed hand gently rested on the bare skin of my back. A cold nose traced my shoulder blade. I knew he was only taking advantage of the opportunity. I knew I should snap at him, order him back to the door where he usually lay. But, if only for a moment, I wanted to pretend someone wanted to comfort me. Could anyone truly care about me, despite my curse? Would anyone want to be by me without the addiction?

 Chapter 2: Invitation

    Several mornings later, Cerberus lay awake by the door. I often wondered if he ever slept. He assured me he did, but I had yet to see it myself.

    Lycans rested with their hunting party, their closest and most trusted companions, often friends from cubs. However, Cerberus hunted alone. He slept alone, even before he¡¯d become my nighttime guard.

    Sometimes I wondered if he ever wanted the company. There were times I caught him looking my way and thought, possibly, there was something lonely in his expression.

    Of course, that was ridiculous. He was a lycan, a monster, untroubled by pitiful weaknesses like loneliness. They were strong enough to take what they wanted. They didn''t need companionship.

    The Lady of the Lycan Mountains was a monster. It was the truth. So why did it hurt?

    I sighed, rising from my bed and making my way over to the screen and wardrobe. It was necessary to dress in several layers in the mountains, as it rained more often than not, and we weren¡¯t all that far from their snowy peaks. Wool under leather worked well. Tight pants for riding, a thick jacket for the wind.

    The final piece, my mask, made me a beautiful white wolf. Pale blue designs indicated variations in the fur. A crimson ribbon held it in place. The padded inside rested on the bridge of my nose, raising the snout and giving my head a canine profile.

    This was the face of the Lady of the Lycan Mountains. It was the face of a predator and hid the vulnerable girl beneath. The ruler of the mountains had no use for her.

    When I stepped from behind the screen, Cerberus was gone and the door left open. I strode down the corridor to the main hall. Different shades of mortar bound together giant stones. Nearly all the plaster that had once covered the walls had crumbled away. My fortress consisted of castle ruins that had been partially rebuilt during the fall of the old world, then abandoned with the return of the lycans. Bones littered the corners and hallways of what I lovingly called my ''Evil Lair''. But the castle held more than fairy tale nostalgia. It was strategically placed, fortified, and had a view forof miles of the surrounding area. The steep slope and narrow path made it difficult to reach.

    It was also filled with tripods supporting old world machines of varying sizes, the largest was nearly my arm¡¯s length. They were mostly made of black metal with an assortment of buttons, wires and knobs, as well as glass panels I supposed were once screens. Three were intact, one in pieces scattered around its stand. One hallway sported a similar machine suspended from an arm hung from a track on the ceiling. The wires ran directly to a room with more of those glass panels, most spiderwebbed with cracks. Several sat on tables, the largest dominated an entire wall.

    A pair of furry forms came barreling down the corridor. They noticed me just as I did them, scrambling to stop themselves with comically long legs. A third whipped around the corner, crashing into the others and sending the group tumbling at my feet. I let out a light laugh as the group worked to disentangle themselves.

    "Lady! Lady!" they yipped as they righted themselves, tails wagging as they greeted me. "Morning, Lady!"

    I knelt to eye level with the yearling cubs. Born last spring, the young lycans were at the stage where their paws and lanky limbs grew faster than the rest of their bodies. That would be remedied as they hunted with their mother this summer, though they would keep their soft, puppy-like features for a few more years.

    "Good morning." I buried my gloved fingers behind one''s ear, which seemed too large for his head. The sable male leaned into my touch as his brother and sister bumped my arms for attention.

    Although barely more than pups, the cubs stood larger than any dog or wolf, more akin to a small bear. They may not have the musculature of an adult, but were plenty strong enough to take down a man, something they would doubtlessly be taught these next few months. Even still, there was a kind of innocence to them as they tackled one another, wrestling and yipping their version of a laugh as I stood to continue on my way. I wondered which male had sired them. They looked rather like Graniteback, but they could be his grandchildren as well. Or great-grandchildren.

    The main hall had a raised pedestal where I imagined the king once sat. The high-backed chair from Estil had been placed on it. Everyone intent on sovereignty needed a throne, and although plain, it suited me just fine. It also allowed me to see over the lycans, who were quite the obstacle when standing.

    Wild boar was served by Thorn. An excellent hunter and tracker, he often led the morning hunts. Two dozen lycans paced between the hall''s twin hearths as the pack paraded around their kills. Thorn catered to me in his usual style, ripping a chunk from the animal''s flank and tossing it. Although I caught it, blood spattered over my chest, but one of the many reasons I wore black leather. I bit into the flesh, signaling the others could eat in order of dominance. This involved a lot of snarling and clawing on the lower pack members'' part. Breakfasts, and all meals for that matter, were noisy ordeals.

    I wasn''t particularly fond of raw meat, but was quite used to the squishy texture and sharp taste from years lived among lycans. I was well aware of the risks presented by undercooked meals, but paid it little mind. Besides, I wasn''t about to tell the lycans I was afraid of a danger I couldn''t even see.

    Cerberus entered a while later, his fur again dyed black with soot. We were quite alike, the alpha lycan and I, both born outcasts. Now we dressed ourselves in black to hide pale skin beneath. My conservative clothing had taken its toll on my complexion, erasing all traces of the sun from my skin until it was possible to mistake me for an albino as well, were it not for my dark hair and eyes.

    The lycan leapt onto the pedestal and knelt at my feet. The blood on his teeth told me he had already found some unfortunate animal.

    "You have company, my lady."

    I frowned. "Company? Of what nature?"

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    "A group of Asken men, twenty strong."

    I nearly jumped from my seat. That was surely a negotiations party. Once I met Lord Perimone, Askance was as good as mine; it was only a matter of time. I hurriedly composed myself. "Prepare for departure. I¡¯ll take you, Thorn, Graniteback," I glanced around the hall, eyes eventually falling on an auburn coat, "and Red."

    "As my lady wishes."

    "Let''s not waste time."

    After all these months of bloodshed, the ones who cast me into the wilderness to die would taste my fear. My morning meal fell to the floor, forgotten. It would be snatched as soon as I left.

    ***

    It didn''t take long for the lycans to climb down the mountain, easily leaping from ledge to ledge, even on the steepest of paths. Despite my added weight, Cerberus had no more trouble than the others. Once we reached the smoother slopes near the base, it was only a short run through the pine forests. Orange needles stuck to their paws¡¯ wet pads, drawing the scent of damp soil from beneath. Finding the men was simple enough with the lycan''s excellent sense of smell.

    Throughout the journey, I trembled with excitement. Even the insistent aching of the joints in my hand couldn''t distract me from my joy. This was the beginning, the true start of my regime, and soon my revenge. Those who had made my life miserable would soon be living under my rule. Cerberus would enjoy the treatment I had in mind for a choice few.

    The soldiers, the majority of the party, lifted their pikes at the lycan''s appearance from between thick trunks. Cerberus leapt from the road embankment and landed on the dirt path below, closely followed by Red. An alarmed cry from the back of the group announced Thorn and Graniteback. We had them surrounded.

    "Don''t worry," I purred, releasing my grip on Cerberus''s fur to roll my shoulders. "They won''t attack until I tell them." There weren''t enough men to call this a troop, just a guard for a messenger in the hostile mountains. I slid from the lycan''s back, allowing him to stand to his full height as I strolled to the party and casually pushed the soldiers'' pikes aside. "Unless you happen to strike first."

    Never show fear when facing an animal. Humans were often the same. Stare them down, make them tremble. The Lady of the Lycan Mountains wasn''t afraid of mere weapons anyway.

    I gave a dramatic sigh, purely for the theatrics, and grinned at the youngest of the travelers. They were dressed in a more flowing, vivid version of the soldier''s red and gold uniform. Upon closer inspection, I found they were a girl just entering womanhood. Such wasn''t immediately apparent due to her short hair and boyish build. I took delight in watching the color drain from her face. She must be the messenger. She certainly wasn''t a soldier and carried no apparent weapons, an unwise choice in lycan territory.

    "I-I have come to deliver an invitation... from Lord Perimone..."

    "Indeed, it would be foolish of you to try anything with a mere... what, nineteen men?" I laughed and looked to my black-dyed companion. "Cerberus, how many lycans could take nineteen men?"

    Crimson eyes narrowed, examining the trembling forms of the soldiers. He let out a low growl. "These cowards... one..."

    I snorted. It was an arrogant answer and we both knew it. Nineteen men could hold at least three lycans, perhaps more, were they experienced. I would worry we were outnumbered, had Cerberus and Thorn not been among our company.

    "Well, let''s see it then," I said to the messenger. "Unless this invitation is simply verbal."

    "No no, it''s right here!" She fumbled with the bag slung over her shoulder. From the corner of my eye I saw Thorn tense, watching her hand. However, the envelope she pulled out was hardly threatening. Her fingers shook as she tore open the top and pulled a folded note from within. I could somewhat see the words through the paper as she spoke them aloud.

    "To the leader of the Lycan Mountains: It would please me greatly if you would meet with me in the Palace of Obria to discuss a treaty between our lands as soon as is most convenient for you. Signed, Lord Perimone, eighth elected leader of Askance." The girl bit her lip. Cautiously, she held the letter out for me.

    I stepped forward, reaching for the crisp paper. No sooner had I come within range than the girl dropped the letter, hand flying to her pack. The lycans roared. A small dagger, just long enough to kill, swung at me. I instinctively threw my gloved hand up, catching her wrist mid swing. This was why I left one hand uncovered. She struggled for a moment in my grip before striking with her other hand. I was quicker.

    My bare hand found her face. The girl stiffened. Her eyes rolled back in her head. Mere seconds were enough for her to pass out. I lowered her to the ground, careful to keep my skin pressed to hers. The men were too occupied with the lycans to pay me much mind as I concentrated on my own victim. My fingers slipped into her relaxed jaw, seeking out the delicate skin beneath the tongue. Her body released its last breath and the air around my hand stilled.

    When I looked up, Graniteback was finishing off the last of the men alive. It was little wonder why the mottled gray male had once been an alpha himself. Although he was the eldest of the lycans, his strength was still apparent as he tore at the human pinned beneath him.

    Thorn held another corpse by the neck. Red stood, huffing and surrounded by a fallen group of four. Her breath misted in the cool morning air. My eyes continued onward in their search for the current alpha. As soon as I spotted him, I quickly turned away, trying to ignore the sickening crunching sounds his meal was making.

    I allowed them to revel in the thrill of their violence as I focused on slowing my pounding heart. During the skirmish, I was consumed by a deadly focus, riding my own high of adrenaline. But now the rush of the attempted assassination had faded from my veins, I found it hard not to think.

    Four lycans had easily decimated nearly twenty men. I killed a girl, ended her life with just my touch... it certainly wasn''t the first time, and it wouldn''t be the last.

    I grit my teeth. The Lady of the Lycan Mountains didn''t care. I was grateful Graniteback spoke before I could start doubting myself.

    "How do we proceed, Lady Desire?"

    I plucked the slightly soiled invitation from the ground. Brushing the dirt from it, my eyes scanned over the golden lettering . "Red is injured." Blood matted the fur of the female lycan''s side. As tough as her kind was, she wasn''t fit for traveling. She had been stabbed several times, I hoped she would heal without issue. "Run to the castle and tell the others we''re going to Obria," I turned to Cerberus, who had thankfully finished, and held up the paper. "We received an invitation, it would be rude to ignore."

    The alpha''s eyes followed Red as she bounded up the mountain slope. "If it pleases my lady..." His gaze shifted to meet mine as the younger lycan disappeared from sight. Crimson liquid clung to the fur of his jaws.

    A rumble of anticipation echoed from within Thorn''s chest. "It''s a trap."

    I took a deep breath, forcing a small smile. "Undoubtedly."

    Once I took over, I wouldn''t need to do this anymore. No one would dare oppose the Lady of the Lycan Mountains. Then there would only be vengeance on those who created her. Until then, anyone foolish enough to get in my way deserved their fate.

 Chapter 3: Obria

    Obria city sat at the base of a shallow valley. Opposed to Estil''s logs, the capital was surrounded by stones and concrete. We needed to enter through one of seven gates. As expected, we were not easily allowed access.

    "Don''t." I tugged on Cerberus''s fur as he tensed, ready to pounce on the defensive guards. He turned his head, then let out a short huff and settled back on his hind legs. I slid off him and drew the letter from my coat.

    The guards watched me wearily. The alpha growled in warning. I paid him no heed, confidently striding forward until I was just out of range of their spears. Holding up the invitation, I allowed it to unfold. Their eyes darted across the page as they read the inked message, then glanced to each other. The man to the left was the first to speak.

    "We''ll let you in, but not the lycans." He said it quickly, as if wanting to get the words out before he could second guess them. A chorus of snarls sprung up behind me, blending together in an angry harmony.

    I smirked. "Really? I think my companions object to that."

    The man adjusted his cap before tightening his grip on his spear. I spotted drool starting to drip from Thorn''s jaws. Graniteback''s hackles raised. They were more than ready for a fight. But three males, even the strongest, would be no match if these guards summoned more. I should have brought a larger pack.

    The gates swung open.

    "You must be the Lady of the Lycan Mountains."

    The guards glanced back, a deadly mistake if our attention hadn''t been caught by the approaching man as well. Judging by the regal way he held himself, and the ridiculous amount of fabric on his navy blouse, he had to be an official of some sort. He shot me a dazzling smile, waving at the guards until they bowed and stepped away.

    The fur of Cerberus''s chest pressed against my back. "His scent is on the paper," he spoke softly in my ear. I nodded.

    "Pardon my soldiers'' rudeness, they''re simply overcautious when lycans appear."

    I shifted my weight while my hand reached back, fingers lightly combing through the fur along Cerberus''s jaw. I plastered a sly smile across my features. "Of course, I apologize if my guard dogs are a little... intimidating."

    The man didn''t flinch. He didn''t so much as blink. My eye twitched in irritation as I forced myself to keep from frowning.

    "Oh well," I sighed and turned away. Looking back, my gaze caught his. "I really won''t stray far from them. You understand, don''t you?" As eager as I was for my plans to proceed, I wasn''t entering that city without at least Cerberus by my side.

    "Of course." The man bowed. He swung a hand out, gesturing for us to proceed. "Both you and your lycans are welcome. You were invited, after all."

    The albino alpha and I exchanged a glance before following after him, Thorn and Graniteback on our heels.

    The city that lay beyond the wall was a hybrid of modest new construction and the decaying remains of the old world. Even the main street we traveled on, which cut a wide swath straight to the inner wall, was marked by partially rebuilt brick buildings baring smudges of dull color I supposed were once street art, or graffiti.

    My first trip to this city had been far too stressful for me to note the architecture, however, I remembered the people well. They crowded in the alleyways branching from the cobblestone street but kept our path plenty clear. I could see the fear in their eyes as they watched the lycans, then me, the one who commanded them. It was good they understood the threat the Lady of the Lycan Mountains posed. It was them, more than anyone else, who had created her.

    Unlike my ''Evil Lair,'' Obria Palace wasn''t a real castle, at least not in the sense it was constructed as a defensive fortress. It was one of the few buildings still standing from the old world and was said to have once been a bank. At five stories high, it towered over the smaller, newer buildings of Askance''s capital city. The entrance was glass, making the grand inside visible before we walked through the revolving door.

    A second man strode towards us as we stepped onto the large tiles of the lobby. In comparison to the first, he wore relatively simple attire, though still dyed a vivid red and made of fine material. Despite his less impressive turnout, the man carried an air of superiority about him. I instantly guessed why. A warm, well-practiced smile spread across his face as he swept a hand through stylishly groomed hair.

    "Ah, you made it, Lady of the Lycan Mountains," he said with a polite bow, though not quite as low as the first man''s. Gray eyes sparkled as they caught mine. "I hope your journey has gone smoothly."

    I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by Cerberus''s low growl. "Your messengers were quite... entertaining."

    My fingers curled as I tensed. He knew better than to speak for me.

    "Were they now?" the man said, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he focused on the lycan. I didn''t miss the disapproving glance to our guide before his attention returned to me. "Would you care to step into my office? It''s just around the corner here."

    "Of course." I gave my own bow. The man turned to lead the way. I held my hand up, stopping those behind me. "Only Thorn. The others wait here." I heard the softest of growls as the mentioned lycan stepped forward, passing Cerberus as he followed. I smirked. It was good the alpha remembered he was second to me.

    "That will be all, Howens." The man waved our guide away in much the same manner I saw him dismiss the guards. Our guide nodded and stepped into another room, though not before making some gesture to the guards standing near the door. I just caught his words as he left.

    ¡°-them privacy. She won¡¯t try anything here.¡±

    So he was their vice-lord, Askance¡¯s second in command and directly responsible for the military. This Howens underestimated me. The thought amused me as I was led into a large room with a window overlooking the inner city¡¯s government buildings.

    No guards followed us in the room, though two stood outside the door. Did the fool think he could call for aid before Thorn could kill him? As the beta male and one of my personal favorites, the lycan was more than strong enough to snap a human''s neck with a single blow.

    "I''m certain you already know who I am," our host said, clearing away some papers to leave the hardwood desk completely barren. "but I''ll introduce myself anyway. I''m Lord Perimone, the current leader of this great nation of Askance. And you would be?"

    At his offer, I took the seat opposite him while Thorn sat on his heels off to the side. Lycans were not particularly fond of chairs.

    I reached up, tugging on the ribbons that held my mask in place, and allowed it to drop in my palm before placing it on the desk. Slowly, as to keep him in anticipation of my answer, I pulled each glove from my hand. They were folded together and set beside my mask. Only then did I allow my gaze to meet his. "The lycans call me Desire."

    "Oh?" Lord Perimone arched an eyebrow. "And your human name would be?"

    I flicked my hand in a dismissive gesture. "I try to forget it."

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    "How interesting..." He looked me over with calculating eyes. I took the opportunity to do the same, each of us openly examining the other. He didn''t appear very old, perhaps mid-thirties, certainly younger than all the other politicians I had met thus far, though my experience was rather limited. I knew he was elected shortly after my banishment. As far as his facial structure, I would rate him on the higher end of average, though days of sitting idle were beginning to round his jawline where youth could no longer compensate for the inactivity of desk work. After a moment, his focus switched to Thorn, whose eyes remained fixed on the man. "And you control the lycans as well. How is that?"

    I shrugged. "I have a gift for such things. Surely you know that the key to control is having what the other most... desires..."

    Perimone nodded slowly. "Indeed. I must say, when I had a letter sent to the human leader of the lycans, a rumored ruthless tyrant, I didn''t expect such a young woman to walk through my doors."

    I chuckled. "Oh yes, I can imagine. But cruelty has followed me since I was born. It was only a few years ago I learned how to shift from the receiving end."

    "That is truly unfortunate." His expression softened for a fraction of a second before returning to its original rigid seriousness. "You wouldn''t consider yourself na?ve then?"

    "Certainly not."

    "Then surely you know I won''t be letting you leave unless you agree to peaceful terms."

    I silenced Thorn''s snarl with a snap of my fingers. "Yes, I did. But have you considered my arrival to be a trap as well?"

    The politician leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. "Really? How is that? Do you have an army of lycans on the way?"

    "Nothing of the sort," I said, mimicking his position with more feminine elegance. "I can simply control humans as well."

    His gray-blue eyes stared into mine, as if searching for the answer he sought in their dark depths. "What a mysterious girl..." he spoke so softly. "It¡¯s regrettable you¡¯ve chosen to use your talents in such a destructive manner."

    I leaned back in my chair, though didn''t break eye contact. "I''m certain you¡¯ll end up seeing things my way."

    "And why is that?"

    My heart thundered in my chest as I stood, slowly making my way around the desk, taking care to put extra emphasis on the swing of my hips. I stopped when we were toe to toe and leaned in while supporting my weight on the cushioned armrests of his chair. My back dipped in a graceful arch. "Do you want to know why they call me... ''Desire''?"

    His gaze traveled down to the front of my jacket. "You said this was a trap."

    Straightening, I drew the dagger strapped to my thigh. "It''s not that sort of trap." It clattered against the tile floor. I bent over him again, smirking. "Surely you don''t think I''m hiding anything else in a suit this tight... though you''re welcome to check."

    His next excuse was even weaker than the first. "The lycan..."

    "Oh, don''t worry about him," I pouted. My lips brushed his ear. "He likes to watch..."

    I could feel him relax into his chair. Adrenaline rushed through me, both nervousness and the excitement of being so close to triumph, until I felt I was nearly bursting with energy. "Now, isn''t this the kind of trap you want to fall into?"

    He flushed red and nodded.

    I pounced. In an instant, my hands clutched at his face as my lips pressed to his. With so much direct contact, it lasted only a moment before he passed out. I let go, not wanting to kill him just yet, and allowed him to slump in his chair. When I turned around, Thorn was already on his feet. He tipped his head, studying me with a mild curiosity.

    "You enjoyed that."

    I snorted as I pulled open the drawers of the politician''s desk, searching for a suitable piece of paper. "Hardly."

    The black lycan huffed. "He is their alpha. Your interest would be justified."

    I paused, hand hovering over a jar of pens. My gaze wandered to my mask and gloves. "None of my kisses have ever been for affection." I grabbed one of the utensils and scribbled down a note. With a huff, I snatched my things, securing my mask and slipping on my gloves as I made my way out of the office. "And I doubt they ever will be."

    Don''t cry. Don''t cry. The Lady of the Lycan Mountains didn''t cry. Not over kisses.

    I have what you desire, and you have what I demand. Find me when you want to meet again -Lady of the Lycan Mountains

    ***

    We made it from the palace to the inner wall before we met much resistance. The sky had darkened and the first rumbles of thunder echoed above. Wind blew droplets just beginning to fall in my eyes. A flash streaked across the sky, temporarily illuminating the faces of the soldiers stationed across the gate. They raised their spears.

    Moments later, the downpour began.

    "Take her," Cerberus barked to his elder companion. He spared me the briefest of glances over his shoulder before returning his attention to our adversaries. "Stay with Graniteback. We''ll clear the way."

    I slid from his back and moved to the gray lycan''s side. The younger males stepped in front of us, each crouched and ready. The fall of the rain was the only movement in sight.

    A flash. Another glance at the fear hidden in the eyes of stern-faced soldiers. The crash echoed over the city.

    The Lady of the Lycan Mountains wouldn''t pity them. Anyone standing in her path deserved their fate, whether they were ordered there or stood by their own choice.

    Cerberus leapt into the knot of soldiers, throwing the nearest of them to the wall before grabbing another by the neck. Both were dead before the others had a chance to form a defensive stance. The albino¡¯s heavy paw slapped a third to the ground. The remaining four''s spears drove him back.

    A feminine cry brought my attention to where Thorn circled around. In her haste to defend her fallen companions, a woman soldier unwittingly turned her back on the black male, a fact he was quick to take advantage of. He dragged her away from the safety of the others before tearing into her with vicious teeth.

    I forced my hands to remain by my sides and not cover my ears. Another flash exposed the battle in startling clarity. I was grateful for the loud storm drowning out the woman''s screams as she was torn apart.

    But perhaps what disturbed me more was Thorn''s wicked grin as he rejoined the battle, the cruel delight in those amber irises as his claws found another victim.

    It wasn''t me. I shouldn''t pity them.

    A roar. I spun around to see Graniteback knock an arrow from his thigh just as another hit his back. Soldiers rushed from the palace, spears at the ready.

    The adrenaline flowing through my veins slowed time and steeled my nerves. I scooped the fallen arrow from the street pavers, running its head across my forearm. Leather and skin split around the sharp blade. Rain ran down my arm, washing deadly blood to my fingertips. I wouldn''t let my lycans fight alone. I wouldn''t let them die, not these three.

    ¡°Halt! Retreat!"

    The approaching soldiers stopped at the blare of a horn. Those able stepped back, though remained in a ring surrounding us. The albino alpha bounded to hunch over me, a snarl on his maw. A little ways back, Graniteback struggled to his feet, having dislodged the second arrow. Red dyed patches of gray fur. Thorn stood still, though his upturned lip told me he''d rather have stayed fighting.

    "Sir, we have them surrounded and outnumbered," called one of the men. The pins on his arm told me he was an officer. I followed his gaze to the gate tower. Despite the rain darkening the flowing cloth of his shirt, The approaching man was immediately recognizable as our guide. Howens, Perimone called him.

    He waited for the echo of thunder to quiet. "A pack of lycans runs our border."

    I breathed a sigh. Clever Red, so much more than just a messenger.

    "We aren''t supplied to withstand a siege," the man continued, frown set deep on his features. The clatter of rolling chains joined the symphony of the storm as the gate raised up. "Let them go, for now."

    Cerberus had me on his back in an instant. I took the opportunity to scan him for injury, thankfully finding only superficial cuts. Graniteback struggled to match his pace as we bounded through the opening gate. Thorn, however, hung back. We paused to turn back, catching him lapping at a puddle.

    "Thorn!" the alpha lycan called. The black male huffed, and with much reluctance, left the water to join us. My mount gave him a questioning glare as they took off down Obria''s now barren streets.

    He snorted. "I enjoy the taste of blood." A quick glance to me. "Especially that of our lady."

    Cerberus gave a small snarl, drawing another snort from Thorn.

    "Don''t pretend you''re not just the same."

    The look the albino gave him, not of aggression, but quiet amusement, chilled me more than rain or snow ever could.

 Chapter 4: Stressil

    A week later, the sky was gray, casting a bleak shadow over the mountains, but no rain had fallen that day or the previous. Of course, this meant it was only a matter of time before a thunderstorm rolled in.

    Cerberus had rolled in ash again, coloring his coat with streaks of black and gray. He tended to stain his pelt the most during the fairest weather. The remains of the castle hearth''s fires rubbed off on my thighs, dulling the shining leather. Bits of charcoal that clung to his fur ground into the fingers of my gloves as I struggled to keep my grip. It was difficult; both my hands and wrists ached as if injured. I dared not mention it. Besides, I likely only strained them while riding down the mountain''s steep terrain.

    The village of Stressil was one of my smaller towns with no wall, nor any defense. Just outside the cluster of homes and supply shops were two dozen smokehouses where they smoked and salted their catches. The people were mainly fishermen who trawled the forest streams flowing from the mountains. It was one of the first villages I captured, and by far one of the most useful. They never rebelled before.

    We followed the cumbled remains of one of the old world¡¯s black stone roads. Off to the side was the rusted remains of one of the gasoline-powered vehicles that had been so common once upon a time, this one of the giant eighteen-wheeled transportation trucks. This one was smashed into a tree and sunken to its floor in years of mud. The lycans gave it wide birth; a pregnant grizzly had taken up residence the previous fall.

    A crowd was already gathered when we arrived. They scattered to a ring as we bounded into the town center. The people seemed suitably frightened; they knew denying me was unwise. But there was something else in the air, a kind of quiet retaliation. Tension spread through me. I faked confidence anyway.

    "Hello Stressil," I said, casual, but voice dangerously low. Judging by the lowered gazes and fidgeting, the effect was not lost on them. "I expected a hundred or so fish this year. You¡¯ve caught the first of the season, am I wrong?"

    The lycans¡¯ growls emphasized my point. I only brought six of them, it was a small town, barely a village at best. Besides my favored four of Cerberus, Thorn, Graniteback, and Red, I also selected Blackbear, a dark-furred male named for his large paws and squarish snout, as well as Nightmoon, whose coat vaguely resembled that of a skunk. However, it was her rare blue eyes that made her unique. If I remembered correctly, she was one of Thorn''s offspring, not that familial bonds mattered much to the lycans.

    I slid from Cerberus. Where I sat was rubbed clean, leaving a white imprint like the wings of an insect on his back. Perhaps it would have been funny, were Cerberus not so intimidating. He stood upright, dwarfing the other lycans. Only Thorn came close to his size.

    Stressil had no stage, so I simply stood surrounded by my snarling servants. "I think I am owed an explanation." My eyes scanned the crowd, searching for the respected voice of the village, their mayor of sorts . A small smile crossed my face as I spotted her. "Carleen," I purred. "Why not come here and tell me what''s the matter?"

    The middle-aged woman glared at me, but made no move to come.

    "Bring her to me." The quiet command whispered under my breath was enough for the lycans¡¯ sensitive hearing. Thorn was the first to react, leaping from his position and landing a few feet from the woman. One swipe of his paw knocked her to the ground. The lycan snatched her forearm in powerful jaws as she attempted to rise, dragging the stumbling woman into my ring of canines. My stomach turned at the sight of blood beginning to stain her worn tunic as she was thrown at my feet. Thorn was always a little rough. Still, I couldn''t let that be seen. The Lady of the Lycan Mountains dined with her monstrous legion. She wasn''t squeamish at the sight of blood.

    "Carleen," I leaned over her kneeling form. "That looks like it hurts. Now, why don''t we get this sorted out so you can get that bandaged up?" I hooked a gloved finger under her chin. "Why isn''t there a cart here waiting for us?"

    At first, her voice was a whisper, "Estil..." Then there it was, that spark of rebellion. Her gaze was steady as she stared up at me. "Because we don''t serve dogs."

    The lycans howled in fury. Their snarls filled the silence.

    "Kill her!" Nightmoon growled. "Don''t take such insults!"

    "Let me maul her, my lady," was Thorn''s snarled request. "Her scars will remind her to never rebel again."

    Red offered a different suggestion. "Just take the fish. No one here can stop us."

    "Silence!" I barked. I couldn''t let them think they could sway my judgment. I must also appease them. Either way, I absolutely couldn''t show weakness. I looked down at Carleen. Her body trembled, but she still held that rebellious resolution.

    A slight weight tapped my hand, then my shoulder. I turned over my palm, catching one of the icy shards on the leather of my glove. Within moments, the hail began to fall in earnest, covering everything with shining ice like fallen stars. The frozen raindrops gathered on the lycan''s fur until they were melted by their body heat. Hail collected on Cerberus¡¯s shoulders, running down his back and washing away the soot in streaks of black and white. My gaze returned to my captive.

    The lycans wanted blood, but I couldn''t give in to their demands. Hopefully, the fish would sate them.

    "No," I said, ignoring their snarls of protest. I didn''t let it show how much the sound scared me. ¡°She must submit to me." I forced a smile. "But I¡¯m sure I can make her want to."

    My wrist stung as I pulled my glove from my hand. I held in my hiss and placed my bare palm on the woman''s cheek.

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    Her eyes rolled back in her head. She let out a contented sigh as my touch worked its way through her veins. I pulled away, half-smirk genuine this time. People were always more easily swayed once they came down from their initial rush.

    Then she started choking.

    Carleen fell back, coughing. Her body twisted and jerked as it fought for air until white foam filled her mouth. I stood, frozen and unable to look away as blood began to drip from her nose, coloring the foam red. Soon even her eyes were crying bloody tears.

    I clenched my jaw as I watched the woman I only meant to persuade choke to death on her own spittle. It seemed she was one of the rare few who couldn''t handle my poison, no matter how small the dose. I wanted to yell, to express my anger and frustration.

    I didn''t mean to kill her, I really didn''t. If only she had listened. If they had just given tribute, then I wouldn''t have had to come here at all. She could have lived a few more winters.

    But I couldn''t let the lycans know this wasn¡¯t my intention. The Lady of the Lycan Mountains had complete control of her toxicity; that is what they must believe. So I bit my tongue and glared at the woman as if she died just to spite me.

    Graniteback''s growl alerted us to the arriving party. I followed the elder''s gaze to a troop of forty mounted men. Most were armored soldiers, the other two I recognized.

    "Lord Perimone." I couldn''t help my friendly tone, excitement thundered in my chest at the sight of him. Was he on his way to my castle? Would he beg for another taste of my poison? Would he surrender Askance? His party was clearly too small to be any sort of fighting force. "And of course hello to you too, Howens. Don''t think I would forget Perimone''s vice lord¡­though everyone else seems to."

    Howen''s face soured ever so slightly. I hoped that would irk him. It seemed losing to Perimone was still a sore topic, even over a year after the election.

    Perimone, however, seemed more concerned with the people of Stressil than my insults to his military commander. His face fell as his gaze landed on the corpse of Carleen. The lord looked genuinely sad, an expression doubtlessly practiced to win the public''s affection. "This is terribly unfortunate."

    I shrugged. "Indeed. And easily avoidable. If only these good people here hadn''t so stubbornly refused to give tribute." Yes, this was their doing. They were far too weak to rise up; they shouldn''t have even tried. Her death should be on their conscience, not mine.

    Perhaps it made him angry that I demanded taxes of a people technically within his domain. If it did, he didn''t show it. He looked over the villagers, fishermen and their families, with a pitying gaze. "Is this true?"

    At first, none of them said a word. But then there was that one, the loyal follower of their fallen leader, that stepped forward. Perhaps it was the expected aid of the lord that gave him courage. Even still, his thick beard trembled as he spoke, "We are people of Askance. We will not pay taxes to this false ruler."

    I knew they hated me, but his words, ''false ruler'', shook something in me. They spoke not of fear, but of anger, of rebellion, and perhaps more than this simple refusal of tribute. Thorn and Cerberus must have sensed my tension. The others quickly joined their collective snarl. The soldiers lowered their spears while attempting to steady their dancing horses.

    Perimone pulled his reins, though his thoughts didn''t appear to be focused on his rearing mount. Despite this, he quickly brought the animal under control once my warriors quieted. It was a few moments more before the lord spoke again.

    "Then, as your rightful leader, I ask you to give in to her demands."

    I was just as surprised as the villagers. It was not an answer I dared hope for. My poison was corrupting his mind. The people of Stressil didn''t appear quite so excited.

    Like any good leader, Perimone had words to justify his decision. "There has been enough death here today. If the tribute damages your winter supplies, please allow Obria to send aid."

    Of course, like any loyal followers, the people accepted his judgment without question. It was in their interest, after all. Little did they know their interests would soon be handed to me. They may not love their leader so much then.

    Perimone turned that practiced pitiful expression on me. It was truly a masterpiece, I nearly believed it myself. However, the knowledge of what I had done to him kept me safe from the lie. The only truth in his eyes was the desperation. He was starting to crave the drug.

    "You''re choosing the wrong path, Desire," he spoke quietly, almost regretfully. As if he could regret my choices. Still, I held some sorrow for him. The drug would destroy his ambitions, as it had so many others. But he chose this role, whereas I was born into mine.

    "You''re not the lord who banished me," I said. "You''re not the man I wish revenge upon. However, you would do well not to stand in my way."

    Perimone was silent. Then, "I have read that case file. I¡¯m sorry, I wouldn''t have sentenced you to such a fate. I understand your distress, but please, realize these people are innocent. They don''t deserve to be punished for the previous lord''s mistakes."

    "No," I agreed. "They had nothing to do with that. But they''re pawns, and pawns who rebel must be punished."

    The lord sighed. "Please Desire, I want to help you. "

    My teeth ground together. "If you wanted to help, then where were you when I was sentenced?" I may not have had a formal education, but I knew how the Asken government worked. Read my case file? What a joke of a lie. He was elected Lord a year ago, but he was a politician long before that. "You were a council judge during my trial. You could have spoken for me! But you were silent, just like everyone else, while that man sent me to a politically correct execution! Because I was sick! In my mind, you''re almost as guilty as he is!" More important to rid themselves of a ¡®diseased¡¯ girl than save her. I should have never tried to warn them about my poison. They didn¡¯t understand, and they refused to listen.

    Perimone''s eyes closed. "That was a mistake. I wouldn''t make the same choice now. I am genuinely grateful you recovered.¡±

    "No!" I snapped. "You don''t get to be forgiven! I won''t forget yesterday''s wrongs just because you changed your mind today. It doesn''t work that way. You didn''t speak up when an innocent girl was punished. You don''t get to fight when I take revenge. I won''t let you!"

    His eyes didn''t meet mine. He tugged on his horse, turning the animal around. The regret was back in his tone, though it wasn''t for his actions, it was still for mine. "I hope..." He paused. "I hope one day you realize the whole world is not your enemy." He began to ride away.

    I took a deep breath. My emotions had overcome me. I almost forgot the essential element of control. "Perimone wait!" The lord stopped and looked over his shoulder. I ran to his side, ignoring the guard''s spears turned my way and the snarls of the lycans. Reaching up, I gently brushed his cheek with my bare hand. It wasn''t much, but I could see the shiver run through him. I forced my smile to be soft, not malicious. "I hope you¡¯ll learn how to help me."

    He nodded. "I hope for that too."

 Chapter 5: Demand

    The book I was reading was from the old world, before humanity¡¯s fall. It was a rarity; many books burned during the winters following the apocalypse. I made a habit of collecting those that had not. So many things were lost from those days, so much technology forgotten to us. Within the book''s pages were many forms of mechanical transportation, even moving stairs. There were buildings so tall they reached the sky and miniature computers that could communicate or tell their user anything within the collective human knowledge. All this had been normal, easily possessed by all people, even children.

    And we lost all of it. Civilization torn apart by basic urges, humanity''s greatest achievements tossed away. The thought made me want to cry. I couldn''t understand how such a simple thing could drive people to such madness. How could I? I was the only one immune to my own poison.

    Addiction was responsible for the old world¡¯s end, at least, that was what the government said. I was taught that well by one of my captors, who¡¯d thrown a set of teacups at me after his wife left him, screaming it was my fault. Nevermind the depression that drove him to seek me out, nor the desperation that made him sell my touch. He hadn¡¯t smiled after that, not until he overdosed. He died grinning like a fool.

    I was ¡®Anna¡¯ then. ¡®Joy¡¯ after that. With each new name, I hoped for a new life to follow. ¡®Desire¡¯ was the only one.

    Both my reading and musing were interrupted by the click of claws on stone. My chamber door opened, allowing the white lycan to step inside. He turned on his haunches before falling back against the wall with a huff. I frowned, eyeing him over the pages of my book.

    "What''s your problem?" I let my irritation show through my tone. He knew better than to disturb my reading.

    "The others grow restless," he growled. "They haven''t tasted blood since Estil."

    "And?" I already knew the lycans'' normally ritualistic sparring had grown steadily more violent in their boredom. It wasn''t my fault Perimone was yet to realize the source of his longing and send word.

    The lycan glared at me. "And I grow restless as well. You''ve been neglecting me."

    I huffed and rolled my eyes before looking back down at my book as if to resume reading. "As becoming as begging is to you, Cerberus, you sound like a nagging wife."

    A low snarl was my only warning before I was tackled from my bed, landing hard on the stone floor. I gasped, trying to regain the breath knocked from my lungs. An instant ache spread through my body. A heavy weight pinned me down, arms held in place by furred limbs. My senses were flooded with a thick, canine musk, laced with the scents of earth and pine.

    "More demanding," the lycan growled, teeth clashing dangerously close to my face. "I don''t nag, nor beg."

    With a snort, I pulled one of my hands from under his paw and casually brushed it across his nose. I forced a frown on my features as I glared into his blood-colored eyes, trying to hide my pounding heart. A low rumble of warning vibrated his chest when I pulled away. I raised my eyebrows but didn''t give him the satisfaction of ordering my compliance.

    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    His free hand gripped at my neck, forcing my head to turn to the side with his long claws. A wet tongue pressed to my unmasked face and slid up my cheek. I grimaced. His breath reeked of rotting flesh. I could barely breathe. My stomach turned. I fought the tears welling up in my eyes, knowing he would taste them and realize my fear as his elongated canines scraped against my skin. Thankfully, he pulled away before they could fall.

    "I''m not like the others," the lycan snarled. "One touch isn''t enough anymore. Every time I need more. I don''t know if I can be satisfied."

    I turned my face, angry facade returning. It was the only mask I currently had. I yanked my other hand free to shove against his chest with all my might. He willingly stood, allowing me to get to my feet as well. My eyes narrowed as I stared him down.

    "Next time you decide to take liberties you¡¯re not allowed, you''ll find yourself with a mouthful of my blood. We''ll see then if you can be satisfied."

    I turned on my heels and marched from the room. I could only hope my trembling was not visible to his keen eyes.

    ***

    Claws at my face. Teeth at my neck. I couldn''t run, nor move. I was tied, secured to a tree with thick ropes. They kept me prisoner, even as I desperately struggled to get away. But there was no escape as the albino lycan went for the kill.

    Padded hands gripped my arms, holding me as I thrashed about.

    "Desire."

    I stilled, opening my eyes to stare into pigment-less irises. Cerberus leaned forward. The whiskers of his snout brushed the side of my face.

    "You shouldn''t cry so loudly," he growled in my ear. "You sound like prey."

    I swallowed, suppressing a shiver. My hand slipped between us and pushed his chest until he released me. I looked away from the lycan as I took a deep breath to calm myself from the dream. Even though I wasn''t watching him, I knew Cerberus was staring at me.

    "What frightened you?" he asked, his tone unreadable.

    I nearly laughed. I couldn''t tell him that he was the subject of my nightmares, always so similar to the time we first met.

    "I wasn''t afraid." It was a lie. Perhaps he even knew, I was too upset to be any good at deceit. But I continued on, "These are tears of anger. These tears feed my desire for revenge." I turned to look him in the eye. Lying to his face didn''t bother me, I rarely told the truth anyway. "In my dreams I¡¯m killing my enemies, placing my pain on them before silencing their cries."

    He watched me with keen, emotionless eyes. Or was there something there? It was so hard to tell anymore. I stared back, refusing to break contact. After a minute, he stepped back, pulling the thick drapes around my bed.

    I was acting again. Like a puppet dropped from its puppeteer''s hand, I collapsed onto my bed, only able to rest once I was out of sight. My body curled into a tight ball. I almost wished for a blanket to hide under, though my fear of becoming entangled kept me from requesting it. It bothered me that, even as the master of miles of territory and a fierce race, I still felt no true sense of control. It was all just an act, and I feared the day my audience saw my strings.

 Chapter 6: Merrer

    It was raining again. It rained a lot in my territory. Mud splattered my legs as I stormed through the street of my newest town, heading straight for the main square stage where the lycans were herding the remaining villagers. I was grateful the terrible weather allowed me to wear my full face mask without suspicion.

    Pulling off my long gloves as I went, I didn''t notice the man beside me until I bumped into him. I ignored his sounds of protest as I pushed past, concentrating on keeping a steady gait.

    Anyone would think I wore the variation of my mask to shield my chin from the rain. None would suspect it was actually to hide the grimace that crossed my face with each step. My feet were sore, so much so it made walking nearly unbearable. By all appearances, they were fine, but since I woke, the joints were stiff and hurt to move. With Cerberus doubting my strength already, I didn''t dare seek my nurse. So I strode onward, taking each step with confidence, though I was nearly weeping beneath.

    It was just cramping. Or perhaps tender from the damp cold. My toes were frozen more often than not. It would go away soon enough with the warm weather.

    Cerberus leapt on the stage beside me. The timbers groaned under his weight. Standing to his impressive bipedal height, he turned, looking to me for command. I hoped he couldn''t see the tears through my mask¡¯s holes. Upon seeing the last of the villagers dragged from their hiding places, I nodded. Cerberus barked out a short call, drawing all eyes to us. I exhaled a tense breath and relaxed. It was time to put on a show.

    "People of Merrer," I projected my voice over the sounds of the rain, "Doubtlessly you think yourselves lambs led to the slaughter." I took in their horrified expressions. "You are not."

    Their relief was instantly evident. People were selfish. All it took to make them forget their fallen was the opportunity to save themselves. Now that they thought they had been spared, they wouldn''t so readily resist.

    "Your village is no longer in the nation of Askance. You are the territory of the Lycan Mountains," I continued. "From this day forward, you will offer your highest produced crops, a tenth twice a year, or a fifth annually, in addition to any services I may have need of you for." There was silence, a sure sign of their acceptance, until one voice broke it.

    "And what if we refuse?" An elder man called out, not too far from the stage. From the soot that still clung to his clothing despite the downpour, I would guess him to be a metalworker. He appeared aged enough to have lived in the old world, though surely just a toddler at the time. It was almost a shame. However, this was a show, an exhibition of power, and I had the most bloodthirsty of audiences. I needed an example, and here I had a volunteer.

    Killing one would keep the others from rebelling. One more step to power. One more piece to security. I would make them so afraid of their new dictator they wouldn''t dare question me again.

    I needed control. Once I had control, I would be safe, never put in a cage again.

    "Cerberus." It thrilled me how his eyes flicked to mine, so quick and attentive, like a dog. "Show this man what becomes of those who rebel against the Lady of the Lycan Mountains."

    The albino grinned. Wet as it was, his fur stuck together in ragged clumps. He bowed his head, raindrops running off the end of his snout. "As my lady wishes..."

    The lycan leapt from the stage, landing on all fours amongst the villagers. He stalked forward like a giant white wolf, eyes fixed on the man who had spoken. The crowd parted around him. The trembling man turned and shoved aside several bystanders in an attempt to flee. Cerberus bounded after him, catching him within two strides. His jaws clamped down on the man''s shoulder and dragged him back towards the stage.

    Once they reached the stairs to the platform, Cerberus released his hold. The man jumped to his feet, only to once again fall face first into the mud, ankle trapped in the lycan''s teeth. The predator hauled his injured prey up the stairs and onto the stage, spreading a trail of mud and blood in their wake.

    Now too wounded to stand, the man couldn''t flee, even as Cerberus let him go. The lycan rose up on his hind legs, staring down at the human crying and begging for his life. I was used to being around the lycans; their size was normal to me. Only when they stood next to other humans could I see how truly large they were. The man was as helpless as a rabbit in a wolf''s den, just as I had been.

    A sudden anxiety knotted in my chest. I wanted to cry out, to order Cerberus to stop and leave the old man be. It was merely a suggestion of resistance, enough of an example had been made. The man didn''t need to give his life over a single trivial error.

    But this wasn¡¯t a show for me, nor was it really for the people of Merrer. This was for the harshest of critics, the lycans. One trivial error was all it took to cost a life, and in this performance, it was either the rebellious man''s or mine. I wouldn''t give up the power I had seized for his foolish mistake.

    Besides, a voice whispered in the back of my head, no one ever gave up anything for my sake. There was never anyone there to be my rescue.

    And so I held my tongue and continued the act.

    Cerberus grabbed the elder man around the arm, throwing him as easily as a toy. He slid from the back of the stage and landed with a small splash in a puddle below. The lycan reached a long arm down, retrieving his prey and hoisting him back onto the stage.

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    It wasn''t me. No one ever spared me even the slightest of pains. I couldn''t afford to show kindness. I didn''t dare show weakness.

    The old man''s pleas for mercy soon turned to screams as the lycan dropped to all fours, shaking him in his jaws like a doll.

    I closed my eyes, resisting the urge to cover my ears. This power I chose must be paid for in blood. I couldn''t lose control. It would be over soon.

    Except it wasn''t. His wailing carried on and on, only ever growing louder as Cerberus continued his demonstration. The shrill cries pierced my mind, even as his voice became hoarse from screaming, until it turned into a low, moaning drone. This man was not the mayor of Estil, who shot one of my lycans, nor was he the messenger assassin who tried to kill me. He was a villager, a simple blacksmith. He made doorknobs and horseshoes for a living. He didn''t deserve this. He was innocent.

    My weight was suddenly too much for my aching feet to bear. The world spun. My knees buckled under me, sending me sprawling across the stage. I hurried to push myself upright, but it was already too late.

    "Stop."

    The word was out of my mouth before I could catch it. Instantly, Cerberus froze, jaws clamped over the man''s forearm. Red eyes bore into mine, watching, searching for the crack in my defenses which allowed the command to slip out, the crack that was rapidly expanding into a fissure.

    I couldn''t break, not here, not now. What would the lycans think if I broke? Bile rose in my throat. What if I threw up on the stage? The Lady of the Lycan Mountains never showed such weakness. But I didn''t think I could stop it.

    "Get up."

    My eyes flicked to the lycan, at first unsure he had even spoken, half convinced I had imagined it. Then he spoke again, just barely a growl under his breath.

    "Desire, get up."

    His eyes glanced to the crowd surrounding us. I followed his gaze to the others, a pack of roughly sixty, scattered amongst the gathered humans. They watched us with a predatory intensity, waiting.

    I couldn''t look at the mess of a human in front of me, so I focused on a house just beyond Cerberus''s shoulder. Its shutters were closed to block out the rain, though one hung at a slightly odd angle. No doubt that one leaked. It would need to be replaced.

    I pushed myself off the stage''s floorboards. Pain shot through my soles in protest, but I couldn''t mind that. I had to block out the ache. I kept my focus on the broken shutter. It was close enough to Cerberus anyone would think I was staring at the lycan. Anyone but the lycan himself. I took a steadying breath, having only a moment to repair the damage before it was discovered.

    "Quit playing around," I barked, making sure the irritation was clear in my voice. "I¡¯m tired of standing in the rain."

    Cerberus bowed his head. "As my lady wishes," he said, before seizing the man around the neck, ripping his head clean from his shoulders and tossing it into the crowd. It took mere moments for him to disassemble the body until it resembled nothing more than a pile of limbs. Water poured from the sky, washing the blood from the stage and coloring the puddles below.

    I fought not to cover my mouth. It wouldn''t do any good, as this mask covered past my chin. I bit my tongue to contain my sob. Yes, that shutter would definitely need to be replaced. The hinges were bent and weak.

    By the time I dared drop my gaze, the lycan was looking at me expectantly, still in a half-crouched position, crimson dripping down his jaw. The main event was over; it was time for the closing scene. This was where I showed my affection for his kind, the part where I upheld my end of our agreement and paid for my control. I strode to the bloodstained alpha. Closing my eyes, I slid up my mask, careful to control my features as I leaned down to place a kiss on his nose. I held myself there for a full minute, perhaps more, before drawing away. Even still, I could hear a whine on his breath, just the whisper of a plea.

    "Later," I spoke softly, allowing the mask to fall back over my face. We stared at each other, neither daring to look away. I wondered if he could sense it, if not see the redness of my eyes. Could he smell my tears, or feel the heat of my face as I struggled against my emotions? Maybe he could even hear the strain of my breath from the tightness in my throat. Surely he knew. Surely I couldn''t hide such obvious cracks from him.

    A barking howl broke our spell. Both lycans and people made way for Graniteback as he bounded through them, stopping at the edge of the stage.

    "A messenger, my Lady Desire, from the Lord Perimone."

    ***

    The earth was still wet, but it had stopped raining. We were able to find a dry spot under the dense branches of a large pine to settle down for the night. I lay on my back, staring up into the green canopy through the slits in my mask. Beside me, Cerberus collapsed onto his side with a great huff. He was the only one I brought with me. I really didn''t feel like being surrounded by giant canines at the moment, though I also knew I couldn''t go alone. Besides, with my feet as sore as they were, I definitely didn''t want to do any more walking than necessary.

    We lay in silence for a few minutes before the white lycan spoke. "Is this later?"

    I sighed. "Yes."

    Leaves crackled as he shifted. His canine head appeared in my field of vision. I lay still as he leaned over me. A paw-like hand descended upon my face, elongated claws wrapping around my mask and gently removing it. I couldn''t bring myself to force a smile, though neither did I need to hide tears. I lay completely exposed and vulnerable to the alpha lycan. His cool nose pressed to my forehead.

    The minutes dragged on, yet I made no attempt to pull away. He could take however much he wanted. With the heavy weight settled in my stomach, I couldn''t bring myself to care.

    "Does it drain you?" he asked, nose still touching me.

    "No more than breathing," I answered in an emotionless tone.

    He huffed. "You seem upset."

    "Are you pretending to care?"

    "I don''t pretend."

    A bitter smile crossed my features. I had forgotten my well being directly affected his.

 Chapter 7: Capture

    Cerberus woke me before the sun rose the next morning. I felt a lot lighter. My head was considerably clearer and it was easier to accept what happened in Merrer. I wasn''t happy, but I was strong enough to hide my pain and keep up the act. Not ideal, but enough.

    The lycan bounded over the landscape, seemingly tireless throughout the journey. It wasn''t long before we came to an elaborate tent of crimson canvas pressed to the foot of a small drop off. A couple of large horses tied to a nearby tree skittered and snorted at the predator''s appearance. This was near the border of the Lycan Mountains, just a little ways from Estil in an area called the Cliffs, the closest to neutral ground there was between my territory and Askance.

    Howens stood just outside the entrance. He bowed at our arrival, sending us his perfect smile. I frowned, glad I didn''t need to fake pleasantness behind my full mask. Something about Askance''s military commander grated my nerves. Perhaps it was his unblinking fearlessness, even as Cerberus let out a low growl. I wondered if the lycan had the same intuition or felt my tension through my legs and grip on his fur. However, I couldn''t let my unjustified annoyance get in the way of my plans. I swung myself off Cerberus''s back, grimacing as my feet hit the ground and pain shot up my legs. Putting weight on them was like walking barefoot across gravel.

    Despite this, I managed to walk inside the tent without showing any visible signs of my struggle. I was getting used to the pain. I left Cerberus outside, only fabric would be separating us after all.

    The inside was even more vibrant than the outside, the walls decorated with colorful woodland murals painted on the canvas. A folding table was set in the center with a couple of chairs. I glanced around, realizing there was no one else in the tent.

    "Where¡¯s Lord Perimone?"

    Howens let out a regretful sigh, gesturing to the seats. I pursed my lips as I sat down, it was so obviously fake. "As much as the Lord would like to see you, he had work he couldn''t leave and sent me in his stead."

    My eyes raked over him. His clothes, while still a vivid blue, were practical and made of a thicker fabric more suited to traveling. That was expected. He had a relatively good physique for a vice-Lord, he obviously did more than simple desk work. Then there were the leather gloves on his hands. Not that unusual for a man that traveled most of the day horseback, yet the fact he still wore them inside made me suspicious.

    He noticed my staring. "You don''t trust me?"

    My eyes narrowed. I knew what he was doing, I did it myself more often than not. He was acting. For once, I was the honest one. "No."

    "Well that is a pity. Lord Perimone is quite looking forward to spending time with you."

    I smirked. "I¡¯ve no doubt."

    The man eyed me. Slowly, his false smile faded from his features. Good, now we were both being honest, this was going to be interesting. "So, how exactly did you entrance the lord so quickly? Did you sleep with him?"

    It was a shame he couldn''t see my expression. "Do you think me that sort of woman?"

    "Yes."

    I leaned back, folding my arms. "I''m not."

    Howens raised an eyebrow. "With a name like ''Desire'', you would understand why I question that."

    "I don''t need to go that far." I huffed, turning my face away. More like I couldn''t, my partner would never survive the encounter. "What makes you think that anyway? Surely a name is not enough."

    "I doubt a man would become so infatuated with a woman from a simple kiss, as he claims."

    A grin spread across my face as a thought entered my mind. "Ah, but you¡¯ve never tasted one of my kisses." If I had to deal with this man in Perimone''s stead I would deal with him accordingly. Slowly, sensually, I reached up to untie the ribbons that held my mask in place. I leaned back more, stretching my arms above my head and sending him my best seductive smile. "Want to see what it''s like?"

    I didn''t like the way his eyes traveled my body, but was familiar enough with this tactic not to let it deter me. It became easier as my excitement grew and he stepped closer, gaze focused on my slightly parted lips. Now all I needed was to decide if I would merely stun... or kill him.

    One hand wrapped around my wrists, pulling me near. My heart pounded in my chest, the rush of success already running through me. I closed my eyes, ready for him to fall into my trap.

    The other seized my face, covering my mouth and nose, forcing me to inhale the foul stench of tanning chemicals on his gloves. He released my wrists, allowing me to claw at his hand. Pain pierced my side, small and sharp. Not a knife... a needle? I tried to scream, but the thick leather muffled the sound. This couldn''t be happening, not again. I swore this would never happen again. Even as my vision grew hazy and my limbs became numb I struggled. He was too strong for me to break his grip. My boot caught a table leg, kicking it in and sending the piece crashing to the ground.

    The answering roar outside sent the horses screaming in terror. Cerberus! My captor cursed, dragging me to the back of the tent. He slipped through the rear flaps just as the albino lycan leapt in from the front. Wet stone scraped against my shoulders. My gaze met the lycan¡¯s just before the fabric fell closed. Never had I seen such pure, unbridled fury in those red eyes.

    My vision was too blurry for me to make out anything in the darkness I was dragged into. It took a moment to register the sound of splashing and recognize the feeling of water seeping into my boots. It was difficult to concentrate, or to think at all. Try as I might, I eventually lost the fight against the enclosing haze, listening to Cerberus rage somewhere in the distance.

    ***

    I awoke to a pounding head and sunlight shining through my eyelids. I shivered at the sensation of a warm breeze over my arms. Breath? The touch of another''s skin softly caressed my cheek.

    My eyes flew open, blinking rapidly as they tried to adjust to the sudden brightness. I yanked away from the touch, tumbling onto soft grass. My vision spun and my head throbbed. Everything was too bright. Now in the shade of my own body I was able to see my hands. My wrists were bound in rope.

    Not again...

    "Hush Desire, it''s okay..."

    My breathing came in ragged pants. My eyes were as wide as my body would allow. Not again. This was never supposed to happen again.

    "It''s okay."

    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Tears streamed down my cheeks, dropping from my chin to my lap. Wetness soaked through the thin fabric of my clothes. I was supposed to be the master now. I swore to myself that I wouldn''t be a slave again. Never again helpless, alone, hopeless... I paid in others¡¯ blood for that. I watched so many lives ended to keep my power. I fought so hard to keep this from happening....

    "Desire-"

    "Cerberus!" I choked on my words, not caring if I sounded pathetic. "Cerberus! Blood Eye! Help me! Please! CERBERUS!"

    "DESIRE!"

    I flipped on my back and stared with wild eyes into the gray blue of my captor''s. Lord Perimone reached out to place a hand on my exposed shoulder. I flinched away, curling into a defensive ball and feeling very much like an upturned turtle. He watched me for a moment before slowly pulling back. He sat cross-legged on the grass.

    "I''m not going to hurt you..."

    Cautiously, I rolled myself into a kneeling position. I had been put in a light blue sundress. Seeing so much exposed skin... I swallowed the lump in my throat and glared at the man who had done this, trying not to think of the stranger now doubtlessly seeking my touch.

    The world was still spinning around me. It was hard to think. I couldn''t panic, the Lady of the Lycan Mountains didn''t panic. Where was my mask?

    "You call this not hurting me?" I hissed through tears, holding out my bound wrists.

    His expression softened and he reached out again. I yanked my hands back to my chest. The lord let out a small sigh.

    "I wish it didn''t have to be this way, but you are a wanted criminal."

    My features hardened. "Then why am I not in a cell?"

    "Because I love you."

    A feeling like ice seeped through me. "Why do you say that?"

    "Because you''re beautiful and fierce and such a mystery and," he closed his eyes, a smile spreading over his face, "when I touch you, it''s like nothing I ever felt before."

    Of course, the fool mistook the effects of his addiction for love. I took a deep breath. This had happened before. I had to calm myself, to regain control so I could deal with this situation. He would listen to me, at least while his high clouded his judgment. All was not lost. I could still salvage my plan, I just needed to focus.

    If only I didn''t feel so naked without my mask.

    "Surely you feel the same."

    I concentrated on my breathing, trying to slow my pounding heart. If I could control the lycans, I could certainly control him. This was good, I told myself, he was desperate. A desperate man would give me what I wanted.

    He was quiet for a minute, staring at me, then, "So you don''t love me?"

    I paused to consider my answer. Of course I felt nothing, but I shouldn¡¯t upset him. Despite my hesitance, I reached out, gently brushing my fingertips against Perimone''s cheek. A visible shiver ran through him. "Darling... don''t you want to make me happy?" I asked in the sweetest voice I could muster.

    Perimone nodded. "Yes," he breathed.

    "Good..." I purred, touching him again, "then untie me."

    "I can''t do that."

    I frowned, pulling back. With that look on his face, I almost expected him to whine. Perhaps I spent too much time with the lycans.

    "Desire..."

    "I don''t want to be a prisoner."

    "We have laws," he tried to explain, desperation clear in his voice. "Laws you broke. Now, I''m going to get you a pardon, but you need to have a trial. Please, let me right the mistake I made two years ago..."

    No. Perimone may be under my spell, but the council jury would never forgive what I did to Estil, nevermind the other villages I conquered. They would speak up this time. I already knew how that would go. Pushing aside those thoughts, I fell forward, draping myself over him, careful to keep contact only where he was clothed.

    "Oh, but my lord, don''t you find these ''trials'' and ''elections'' to be so... tedious?"

    "Uh, what do you mean?"

    His breath quickened, drawing a smirk to my lips. I pulled myself up to brush ever so slightly against him as I whispered in his ear, "Have you ever considered monarchy?" I felt him tense beneath me, though was unsure if that was a good or bad sign, so hurriedly continued on. "The people already love you, they elected you after all. They won''t mind. They know you have their best interests at heart, why chance it on a silly thing like a vote?"

    My fingers were claws, sinking into the meat of his shoulders.

    "You could be a king. Then you wouldn''t need to waste time on formalities like trials and juries-"

    My back hit the grass. Perimone glared down at me with a reproachful expression. I growled, laying back and crossing my legs. A frown settled on my features. "I liked you better when we first met," I huffed and turned away. "Now you''re just whiny."

    A finger traced along my jaw, pulling my face to his. "We need to play by the rules."

    I ignored the pain that shot through both my legs and arms as I pounced, tackling the Askan politician. Straddling him, I grabbed his face. "Is this playing by the rules?" I purred. He tried to take hold of my arms, to push me off. It only made his situation worse and sent him into a dazed state as the drug took effect. "No kisses this time," I growled, sitting back and getting to my feet. "Talk to me when you have a better offer."

    Looking around, I found he had brought me to some sort of indoor garden. We were positioned next to a clump of small trees. A pebble path wove through patches of grass and flower beds. From one of the walls a little waterfall poured into a tiny pond. I trotted to the great windows that made up a glass wall, where the back of a brick storehouse could be seen not far away. A rusted pole sported one of the old world¡¯s metal signs depicting a forked arrow. We were on the first floor of a building somewhere in inner Obria, if I had to guess, the bank turned palace. I spun on my heels and marched toward the door across the room. I hadn''t seen an indoor garden, we must be on the opposite side of the building.

    Locked. I hissed a string of curses. Stepping back, I charged, kicking the door and crying out as pain shot up my leg. The wood made a loud thud, but didn''t open.

    "Perimone?"

    I cursed again. Howens. If he found me here with Perimone passed out... Footsteps echoed from the hall outside. I needed to get out, now. I turned back to the glass wall.

    "Perimone, are you alright?"

    Off to the side I spotted a rock, small enough for me to lift, but large enough for the job. I rushed to it.

    "Perimone, answer me!"

    I lifted the rock and carried it to the wall. Using all my strength, I heaved it, shattering the glass.

    The door handle jiggled. The hole wasn''t large enough for me to fit, but a spider web of cracks spread through the entire panel. I backed up before charging.

    The door opened. I jumped through the glass, hissing as hundreds of shards bit into my skin.

    There was a shout behind me, doubtlessly Howens. I didn''t stop to look, I learned long ago that could be fatal. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I was running.

    Adrenaline dulled the pain as I wove through the wooden storehouses and buildings of Obria, shoving people aside as I went. I didn''t care how many got addicted, nor even how many would die from the drops of blood I spread in my wake, I wouldn''t be captured again. I darted through the open gate of the inner wall and bolted with blind focus to the city''s border.

    It was a blur. I wasn''t sure how long it took me to get there, all I knew was that I could barely breathe when I did. It didn''t matter though, I couldn''t stop, nor even slow as I ran along the wall, searching for a gate.

    The first one I came across was open, but guarded. It didn''t matter. I needed out, and I need it now.

    I didn''t hesitate to pounce upon the first guard, shoving my bloodied hand in his open mouth. The drug sent him into an instant shock. I yanked back and charged the second soldier. He thrust out his spear. I sidestepped, smacking the weapon away and leapt towards him. My hand found his face and gripped it until he too fell under my touch. I stood, panting between the two fallen soldiers. Taking in a deep breath, I let out a long, low howl, announcing my position to my legion before bolting towards the nearest forest.

 Chapter 8: Meeting

    Everything hurt. My feet. My arms. My legs. My head. I was utterly exhausted, but made it all the way to my own territory. The sun''s first rays illuminated the morning mist which hung at the mountain''s feet. I lay against a tree not too far from the town I conquered the other day, picking bits of glass from under my skin. One particularly large shard allowed me to cut the ropes binding my hands, along with a lot of biting and cursing.

    A cold wind blew over me, channeled from the north by the mountains. I shivered. It had rained all night. I was soaked, causing my dress to cling to my body in the most uncomfortable of ways.

    How I longed for the hearths of the castle. Perhaps I would even get Henry to make me a hot stew. The lycans would wonder why I didn''t eat with them, but I didn''t care. I really didn''t want raw meat at the moment.

    I took in a shaking breath and let out a weak howl. Lowering my head, I coughed a bitter laugh. None of them would come to that pathetic call, I would have to get to the castle on my own. A sudden burst of emotion welled up within me, one I had to fight not to be overcome by. It was all just so difficult.

    "What happened to you?"

    I opened my eyes to stare up at the one who had spoken. A man with straw colored hair stood over me, bow in hand and quiver strapped to his hip. He knelt, looking over me with concern. Soot was smeared across one cheek.

    "No, don''t!" I raised a hand to stop him. "Don''t touch me..." I was still covered in droplets of my own blood, even a simple touch could prove fatal.

    He pulled back, thankfully taking the hint, though he probably assumed my refusal to be for other reasons. It didn''t matter, he couldn''t help me if he was dead. "I recognize you from somewhere."

    "Oh, really?" I snorted, once again letting my eyelids drop closed. I hadn''t shown my face in Merrer, he must be mistaken.

    His quiet gasp told me otherwise. "You''re the Lady of the Lycan Mountains!"

    I stiffened. Cautiously, I glared at him through narrowed eyes. "How do you know that? I wore my mask." I was far too tired to lie.

    "You lifted it when you kissed the one who killed Joseph."

    "Oh," I sighed. Maybe I could get him to help me if I threatened to have the lycans do the same to him.

    "What do you mean, ''oh''? How can you be so casual about it? You had your monster torture and kill a man, a poor blacksmith, with an apprentice and grandkids on the way!" he growled. "Or have you killed so many you don''t remember?"

    "No, I remember," I huffed. "I don''t know what you''re so worked up about, the lycans killed plenty of other people in your pitiful village that day too."

    "I know that!" he cried, slamming his fist into the forest floor. "They killed all the guards and anyone who fought! And you- you put a curse on me!"

    "What?" I hissed. I never even met this man before. Unless... My eyes widened. The young man I bumped while taking off my gloves. Could he have touched my bare skin? I had been so focused on not limping, was it possible I hadn''t noticed?

    The man glared at me, his body tense with anger. "Ever since that day, I can''t stop thinking about you. Why? What did you do to me!?"

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    "It was an accident-"

    "An accident?!"

    "Yes, an accident," I snapped. "You weren''t cursed, you idiot, you were accidentally exposed to a highly addictive drug, which I am the only source of." I smirked. "So if you ever want to feel better, you will have to serve me."

    There was a moment of silence as he took in the information. I relaxed against the tree, watching his eyes dart back and forth in confusion until the truth of the matter finally dawned on him. The man let himself fall back into a sitting position, closing his eyes as he considered his options.

    "I''ll pass on that, thanks."

    I sat bolt upright, ignoring the dizziness and nausea that accompanied the sudden action. "What?!"

    His features hardened into a mask of defiance. "I won''t be your slave. I''d rather fight the temptation."

    I blinked. No one ever refused once they were addicted, not in my entire life. Not one of the hundreds of people who became hooked had ever refused a second fix. It was impossible. "But you will never-"

    My argument was cut off by a loud howl. I immediately answered the best I could, putting all my remaining breath in the sound.

    Then there he was, my albino guardian, soaked to the skin, his fur matted with mud and blood, some of which I was horrified to find leaked from his own open wounds. He panted as though he had run Obria''s border several times. I realized he probably had. So why hadn¡¯t he found me sooner?

    The rain. It must have washed my scent from my tracks. Just how far had he run, searching for me?

    "Cerberus..."

    A low growl rumbled from the lycan''s throat. Following his gaze, I found the man had drawn his bow. He stood, unflinching, arrow aimed at Cerberus''s chest.

    "I dare you, human," the alpha snarled. "You won''t knock another..."

    If I didn''t act, they would attack each other. "Cerberus stop!" I ordered, though the force I put in my voice had me panting. "I want this man alive, as a prisoner. He is of special interest to me."

    Red eyes bore into mine, searching. After a moment he let out an annoyed huff and dropped to all fours. "Fine, but he walks."

    I snorted. I wouldn''t dream of asking the proud alpha to carry another person. That, and I really didn''t want to share.

    The lycan trotted to me, turning his back to the human man as he sniffed my skin. I smiled and placed my hand on his head. "I jumped through glass."

    A huff was his only reply. Behind him, the man slowly lowered his bow, though he still kept the arrow knocked. "Why?"

    "I was held captive in Obria," I explained. "But I escaped."

    Cerberus growled. "That man took you through a tunnel. The entrance was too small for me."

    A small, sympathetic smile spread across my face. My fingers tangled in the fur behind his ears, taking comfort in the familiar softness. The lycan sank into a bow, inviting me on his back. I wanted to refuse, to tell him he was too injured, but I knew his pride suffered more than his body. Besides, I didn''t know how much farther I could walk myself.

    I vaulted on him, careful not to land on any of his wounds. From their shape, though it was difficult to tell through fur, I would say he tangled with the guards outside the wall. I practically lay on his back as I huddled to the warmth his coat held despite its wetness. My head rested on his shoulder, filling my senses with the lycan''s canine musk. I felt his growl against my chest.

    "Come, human."

    "And if I refuse?"

    Cerberus snarled again, this time louder. "I will drag you up the mountains with my teeth."

    From the way the man sighed, I assumed he chose the former. I didn''t bother to look up as my mount slowly began making his way up the mountain. Walking at a human pace, I didn''t need to clutch his fur to stay on, so I relaxed, letting myself drift to the brink of sleep.

 Chapter 9: Prisoners

    I leaned against my chair''s arm. Twenty or so lycans lounged on the stone floor, some gnawing at the previous day''s dinner, others simply drying their fur by the twin hearths. Most had been on the night watch and thus caught in the thunderstorm. It was still a wonder to me how such weather didn''t faze them.

    "You look like an evil queen, sitting up there like you own the world."

    I smirked beneath my usual half mask. "I''ll take that as a compliment."

    The man I captured, Brennon was his name, frowned. He did that a lot. "It wasn''t meant as one. You look like a villain."

    I shrugged. "I don''t mind."

    His gaze met mine. He was watching me, gauging my reaction, almost as if waiting for something. The man had become less compliant after his tour of my castle. His comments took a bitter edge, and his tongue had only grown sharper since.

    "People will rally to end a tyrant''s rule.¡± He scowled from his position at my side. "You might not want to be the one sitting on that throne then."

    My eyes narrowed, glaring at him through the slits in my mask. "I''d like to see them try."

    "One day you will."

    My reply was cut off by a howl, followed by a chorus of yips and barks from lycans greeting the morning hunters. Thorn bounded into the hall, followed by several others. Hanging from the beta male''s maw was a large buck, while the others carried smaller prey. Whoops and howls echoed from the stone walls as the black lycan reared up, shaking his kill above his head. With a savage growl, he tore a choice cut from the animal''s side and tossed it in the air.

    I caught the offering with a practiced ease. Knowing all eyes were on me, I ripped a mouthful from my portion. The hall exploded into chaos as the lycans fought for their own meals.

    Brennon looked down upon the wreathing mass of bodies, his features twisted in disgust. "How can you stand it?"

    "Ummm?" I hummed, before realizing he meant the meat. "It''s not all that different, just softer. Here, try," I said, offering him some.

    "Ugh, no thanks."

    "Come on," I purred, leaning closer. "Fresh as it gets. Thorn is a great hunter and I bet this wasn''t caught an hour ago."

    "No." He pushed my gloved hand away. "I always wondered what kind of monster could call on lycans to ravage poor villages, but I can honestly say, my imagination did your savagery no justice."

    That stung. Normally I wouldn''t care, but he wasn''t crying or screaming in anger, nor trying to lure me into a trap; he was simply stating what he thought. Something about his open honesty made it that much more real.

    "Red," I barked, purposely avoiding his gaze as I glared out over the hall. The female lycan''s head shot up, ears standing at attention. "Run downstairs and tell Henry to cook something for Brennon." She gave a quick nod and loped off to do my bidding.

    A snort beside me. "Do you use lycans for everything?"

    I scowled. He knew I also had human servants; he met them during the few days he stayed at the castle. "For everything they''re capable of," was my answer.

    A pause. Another measuring stare. "You shouldn''t put so much trust in them."

    "They''re addicted. They won''t betray me."

    "Addictions can be broken."

    "Not mine," I snapped. We glared at each other until a thought crossed my mind. My eyes widened. He was acting exactly like the lycans when they were craving a reward. Slowly, I pulled my glove from my hand. "Surely you must be desperate for it by now." I reached out to touch his cheek.

    He slapped my hand away with a growl, careful to hit only where my sleeve covered. "I already told you, I have no interest in being your slave."

    I blinked, unsure of what to say. I hadn''t expected him to be able to refuse a second offer. "I don''t want you as a slave..."

    "Then why are you trying to get me hooked? Is that the only way you know how to make people like you?"

    I froze, his words piercing me like a knife. His eyes flashed. Was this what he wanted? Below, the lycans quieted as they finished the last scraps of their meal. I was silent, not daring to speak lest my voice gave away the tears my mask hid.

    The Lady of the Lycan Mountains didn''t cry. She didn''t care enough to cry.

    "Keh," Brennon snorted. "Well, I suppose there isn''t much else you can do. After all, who would love someone like you?"

    There was a tightness in my throat closing off the passage until it became difficult to breathe. I stared at my human prisoner. Why had I brought him here? Why hadn''t I let Cerberus kill him?

    He shot me a withering glare. "Who do you think you are, going around murdering people, tearing apart people''s families? Does it please you? Does it make you feel powerful to drive people to despair? Does their misery make you happy? Does-"

    My high backed chair fell backwards, landing with a resounding crash. "I know I''m the villain, okay?" I shouted. "I know I''m a horrible shell of a person! No one ever gave me the chance to be anything else!"

    "It was still your choice!" he shouted back. The hall had gone silent, all eyes focused on us.

    "Well, maybe I''m just selfish then," I growled, trying to disguise my weeping with anger. "We can''t all be heroes, and I got tired of suffering for other people''s pleasure. Guess that makes me the bad guy then, even if they never gave a damn about me!" I turned on my heels and marched down the steps of the platform. A hand grabbed my arm, prompting snarls from the lycans. I glanced back, scowling.

    Brennon leaned close. "So is it selfish pleasure that makes so much noise at night? Just why is it you keep that lycan in your chambers?"

    I could feel myself turn red, though from anger or embarrassment, I couldn''t tell. How dare he make such accusations! I wanted to deny it. I wanted with all my being to yell back that wasn''t true at all. But then I would have to admit I had nightmares every night, despite all I did to prevent them. I couldn''t be seen as weak.

    Yanking away, I leveled him with a deadly stare. "Cerberus!" I barked. The lycan stood, awaiting my command. The hall was quiet. All I could hear was the pounding of blood through my ears. The human stared back, gaze equally dark and unwavering.

    He looked... triumphant.

    I spun around and marched towards the corridors. "Come."

    ***

    The servants'' quarters were on the lower levels of the castle, though unlike the dungeon, were partially above ground due to the mountain''s steep slope. Thus, the corridor leading down was lit by both windows and torches. Going down the stairs hurt my knees. I did my best to ignore it, but I knew it affected my gait. Cerberus padded alongside me in silence.

    When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I was still fuming. How dare Brennon speak to me in such a way? I should have him thrown from the castle, banished from my presence, hunted by my scouts. But, even as I thought such things, I knew I could never follow through with them. Something blocked my anger from being manifested in a way I would on any other.

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    He refused my poison. No one else had done that. Now he was displaying symptoms of withdrawal, and still he turned away my touch. I could force it on him easily enough, make him too addicted to continue, yet I didn''t want to. Neither did I want him to leave. He couldn''t leave, not yet, not until...

    Until what? The man hated me. The only thing I could ever expect from him was a knife in the back. It was foolish to think anymore of it.

    My fingers tightened around the handle of the wooden door which led to the kitchen. My mind was so cluttered it was difficult to think.

    "Was Red here?" I ground out, perhaps more harshly than I meant. It wasn¡¯t Cerberus''s doing that made me this way.

    My guardian sniffed the air. "Yes."

    "Good. Go find her."

    The white lycan nodded and bounded back up the stairs. I took a deep breath to clear my thoughts before turning the knob and stepping into the kitchen.

    The fire from the hearth and oven heated the room, despite the partially collapsed wall on one side. Boards had been wedged between falling stones, along with branches, leaves, and even clay. However valiant the effort to repair the damage, sun rays peeked through gaps near the top. I imagined the wind still managed to slip through when it came from the west.

    The room was empty, but not abandoned. A pot hung in the hearth, cooking some sort of stew. Henry evidently got Red''s message. I looked around. He wouldn''t have wandered too far off if he was cooking. The sound of voices drew me out the back door.

    The sun was shining bright. No wonder they were outside, days like this were rare. Henry stood upon noticing my arrival, dipping into a shallow bow. My maid, a younger woman named Mary, did a small curtsy. A few feet away, Rosie remained sitting on her log, acknowledging my presence with a nod.

    "Hello, my Lady Desire!" Henry greeted cheerfully. "Long time no see! What brings you down to our humble station?"

    I smiled. He lost quite a bit of weight since joining me, a far cry from the fat man I encountered in an outer village not two years ago. Perhaps it was his state of seemingly constant shaking. It certainly wasn''t from running. The chunk Cerberus took out of his leg the first time assured he would never run, or even walk properly again.

    "Maybe she got herself nipped again." Rosie was not nearly as polite as Henry. Neither was she as scared. She never bothered pretending. She made it clear many times that she served simply for the addiction and nothing else.

    "I just-" Why had I come down to the servants'' quarters? Normally I avoided them. Henry''s fake kindness, Rosie''s hostile attitude, Mary''s starved expression; they reminded me far too much of the customers my more financially minded captors serviced. Those jailers were always the quickest to be killed, most often by their clientele. I rolled my tongue between my teeth. Perhaps I came to remind myself what humans were really like, or maybe to remind myself what I did to them.

    Then again, there were no lycans present.

    "Rosie," I said, voice regaining its confidence now that I had a purpose. The nurse eyed me, but made no indication she planned on moving. "I''ve been feeling... off lately."

    She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Maybe it''s all the raw meat you''ve eaten." Her tone held absolutely no concern.

    I scowled. "I already explained this to you. Besides, it¡¯s my joints."

    She rolled her eyes, leaning back against a boulder behind her log. Bits of lichen fell from its surface into her short red hair. "You know, in the old world, people used to think lycans were humans changed by the full moon. Werewolves, they called them. They believed if you were bitten, you would turn into a werewolf too, like rabies."

    "Superstition," I said. Of course I knew this. She probably read such things in one of my own books. "What of it?"

    Rosie shrugged. "Could just be growing pains. Transforming into a seven-foot beast is bound to hurt." She closed her eyes, relaxing against the boulder. "I could always do a physical if you''re really concerned."

    "No." I snapped. She wasn''t going to get my drug after mocking me. I would rather suffer than give her the satisfaction.

    And she couldn''t be trusted, the whispering reminded me. Such was evident by the open wound across her face Thorn gave her as a souvenir from her latest escape attempt. The lycans reached her mere minutes before she entered a village.

    It wasn''t that I doubted my servants would return, their addiction would be sure of that. But they knew of far too many holes in my castle''s walls to be allowed to leave. And if Perimone learned I was physically ill, my facade of strength could fall apart.

    "If I may," Henry stuttered. "I have some good news."

    "I want to hear it."

    "Whenfair delivered their tribute this morning. A hundred bags of flour." He gave a little bow. "What would you have me do with it?"

    I sighed. I couldn''t let these humans irk me, it would be far more dangerous if the lycans decided to test my strength. "Store what you can. Get rid of the rest."

    "Oh," his face fell.

    "What is it?"

    The man''s broad shoulders hunched over. "Well, I had hoped... with winter coming... we could give-"

    "No."

    "But-"

    "Are you challenging me?" I growled. "Those are my taxes and I will do with them as I please. Stack them right here!"

    A snarl sounded behind me. Henry gave a little gasp before hobbling toward the store room beside the kitchen. I turned around to see a black lycan crouched on the remains of a collapsed tower. His yellowing teeth glinted in the sunlight.

    "Are you in need of assistance, my lady?"

    "Thorn," I greeted. From the corner of my eye I saw Rosie glare at the canine. Somehow, my maid had managed to disappear, most likely in the kitchen. It was little surprise, avoiding the lycans kept her alive. "I have everything under control." I told it to myself as much as I did him. "What is it?"

    He hopped down from the rubble and stood before speaking. "Nightmoon returned with a message from Graniteback. Jive refused to give tribute."

    I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. My fingers ran through my hair. So Jive was rebelling now as well. I watched Henry stack sacks of flour on a black mark. He made sure to give the lycan a wide berth. I should visit the town and demand my tribute as I always did. I should have the lycans harass and terrorize the people until they gave in.

    That was what the Lady of the Lycan Mountains would do.

    But Jive was a smithy town. They mined metal from their mountain and forged it into horseshoes and tools. They were really of no use to me, just another dot on my map. They were like the blacksmith in Merrer, foolish, but innocent. They didn''t deserve to die. Their tribute wasn''t worth the bloodshed.

    "My lady, there''s something else."

    "What is it?"

    "A few days ago, Jive received a messenger from Askance." His dark eyes met mine. "Now they produce weapons."

    I clenched my fists. Perimone had sent word. He was turning my villages against me, after he claimed to love me. My teeth ground together. He was supposed to be my pawn. I was supposed to be hunting down his predecessor, not playing games with him. He had to know I wouldn''t stand the threat. He needed to surrender to my control.

    "Destroy it," I hissed. "Gather your choice warriors and tear the town to its foundations. I want it obliterated¡­ tonight."

    A cruel grin spread over Thorn''s features. "Yes, my lady."

    I tugged my glove off. The lycan''s eyes widened. A thin line of drool leaked from between long canines. He dropped to his knee. Even kneeling, his head was even with mine. Slowly, almost reverently, his clawed hand wrapped around my wrist. A tickling sensation shot up my arm as his tongue passed between my fingers. A smile tugged at the edge of my mouth. As rugged and harsh as Thorn could be, he was the most gentle with me.

    My heartbeat slowed. Those teeth I had seen end the life of so many creatures brushed ever so carefully across my fingertips as he licked my palm. Thorn wouldn''t hurt me. Thorn was loyal, and he would make sure others stayed so as well. At least for the moment, I was the master. I had what he most desired.

    I let him have his full. I should have cut him off, pulled away and left him wanting more, but I couldn''t bring myself to move. I savored his worshiping gaze as much as he savored my poison.

    He released me with reluctance. His deep auburn irises glazed over as he looked to a window above the servant''s quarters. White fur shone in the sunlight. Cerberus lept from the opening, landing lightly in Henry''s path. The man stumbled back, then attempted to go around, only to once again be cut off by Red, who followed the albino. Both lycans ignored him as they trotted to me. Thorn gave a respectful dip of his head to his alpha before bounding off to do my bidding.

    "Red," I addressed the female lycan, who did a similar gesture to me. "Run to Graniteback. Tell him not to let anyone leave Jive. Thorn will be along behind you with more warriors."

    She nodded, then galloped off to the southeastern woods. Cerberus stood, watching until her tail disappeared in the dense forest. I noted he kept an unusually close eye on her as of late.

    Heat began to grow beside me. Henry had managed to make an impressive pile of flour sacks. He stood back, flint and a steel knife in hand. Already, the fire had spread throughout the burlap and was rising by the moment. It rose into the air in a pillar of flames.

    He was right; it was a waste. The people of the villages could use it during the harsh mountain winters. But if I gave it back, that would defeat the purpose of taking it in the first place. I didn''t need any of the tributes. It was just a show of power.

    I wondered who I was trying to prove it to, the people, the lycans, or myself?

 Chapter 10: Submit

    My legs began to hurt as well. It was difficult not to stumble as I strode down the cold hallways. The hard floor made my feet sting as if it were shattered glass. My arms hung heavy at my sides, the slightest movement causing strain on my shoulders. It took all my concentration just to keep my knees from buckling beneath me. The horrid weather had finally gotten to me, the constant damp chill had ruined my health. In my mood, my determination to keep up the facade was slowly slipping away. It was so exhausting, and I had been going for so long.

    "Cerberus." I stopped, standing as he closed the distance between us. "Carry me. I''m tired of walking."

    Long claws wrapped around my shoulders. Much to my surprise, the albino lycan didn''t invite me on his back, but rather lifted me in his arms. I sighed, not minding either way. Relief spread through my limbs at the opportunity to rest. I lay my forehead against the fur of his chest. The rain had washed all traces of soot from his coat, leaving him white as freshly fallen snow. The scent of the storm still clung to him, along with the slightest traces of the fire he had dried himself by.

    My door clicked open. A moment later, I was set gently on my bed. The lycan stepped back to stare down at me. I raised my hand, holding the protesting limb above my head until he took it in his mouth. My wrist rested between his canines. After a minute, he opened his jaws and allowed my hand to fall back to my side.

    "You let him insult you without punishment. Why?" There was no mistaking the slight growl in Cerberus''s voice.

    I lifted my chin, but didn''t meet his eyes. "He was trying to bait me. I didn''t want to give him the satisfaction."

    "You''re lying."

    My head snapped up. His pigmentless eyes bore into mine, a strange glint reflected in those crimson orbs. My heartbeat quickened. He looked predatory.

    "You don''t want to prove him right." His growl rumbled in his chest as he stalked forward. "You don''t want to take responsibility. You try to act strong, but," the lycan towered over me, his jaws no more than an inch from my mask, "you¡¯re afraid."

    A shiver ran through me. He knew. He saw my strings.

    "You cling to control." His breath washed over me, flavored with the scent of blood from his earlier kill. ¡°It''s time to submit."

    "What?" I gasped.

    The lycan lunged forward, pinning me on my back. I struggled against his rough grip as elongated canines clashed together near my face. "Submit," he snarled.

    "No! Cerberus!" I cried, desperate to break free.

    ¡°You''re always hiding.¡± My mask was swiped from my face, landing near the wall and exposing my panicked features. Saliva dripped from his open maw onto my cheek. The thick liquid rolled down my skin. "Submit."

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    "No!"

    Long claws dug into my shoulders. "Submit! Now!" he barked.

    "Cerberus, please!"

    A sharp pain ran through my forearm. The albino had bitten me, though not enough to puncture the leather.

    "Cerberus!" I cried, choking on my words. "Please don''t!"

    Another bite to the shoulder, this time harder. I cried out, turning my head away. After everything, I couldn¡¯t die, not like this. Not by him.

    "Please!"

    The lycan reared back, maw open and eyes fixed on my exposed throat. He lunged. I screamed.

    "I submit!"

    Jaws clamped shut a hair''s breadth from my jugular. My body lay still, frozen in anticipation. Ever so slowly, the alpha lycan drew back, eyes burning on mine. We stared at each other, locked in a wordless battle, until I finally lowered my gaze. Only then did Cerberus release me.

    When I dared glance up, he was gone. Tremors raked over my body as I got to my feet and walked to close the door he left open. From there I retrieved my mask, though didn''t put it on. Was there even a point anymore? Every weakness had already been seen. Even so, I took it with me as I crawled onto my bed, sure to close the drapes around me. Only when I was completely hidden did I curl into the smallest ball I could manage and cry more openly than I had in years.

    He knew my secret. I may no longer have control over the lycans, but they were still addicted. They wouldn''t give me up. It was likely I would never leave the castle again.

    I had truly lost everything.

    ***

    Cerberus didn''t return until after dark. I hadn''t moved from my bed, though neither had I slept or rested since our incident. My body tensed as I heard the door click shut and his padded footsteps approach. The moonlight cast the lycan''s silhouette on my drapes. My eyes followed as he stalked around the bed. The fabric was pulled back behind me. I didn''t dare turn to look.

    A heavy weight collapsed on the mattress. Fur brushed against my back.

    My mind told me I should move, but my body wouldn''t obey. I was nearly strangled with fear as I struggled to whisper, "Cerberus?''

    A huff was his reply, and then, "I¡¯m tired of sleeping on the floor."

    I nodded, though I didn''t know if he could see me or not. In a sudden urge for movement, I made to slip from the bed. A paw-like hand caught me.

    "Stay."

    Again, I nodded. I expected him to draw me close, to lick my face or press his nose to my forehead. Yet, the lycan made no further movements, instead choosing to remain as he was, one arm draped over my side, not even his paw touching my skin. It was then I realized he wasn''t after the drug, at least at the moment. He was simply guarding me. Normally, I would be opposed to such close contact, fearing my night terrors may reveal my weakness. But now such shows would be pointless. The curtains were drawn back and my strings exposed. There was nothing left for me to hide. I relaxed, allowing myself the sleep my aching body so desperately craved.

    No nightmares came to me that night.

 Chapter 11: Perimone

    The door to my chambers flew open, hitting the wall with a bang. I sat up, awaking with a start, only to be immediately pinned under a furred body. The drapes were ripped from their rails. Cerberus''s snarl vibrated through him.

    "Keh," I heard Brennon scoff. "I shouldn''t be surprised."

    I peered around Cerberus''s arm, catching sight of the human who barged in. He already had on his tunic and pants and evidently been up for at least an hour or two. The lycan growled again.

    "What do you want, human?"

    The man shrugged, then shot me a glare. "I told you your day would come. Lord Perimone''s outside your gates." With that said, he turned and marched from the room.

    I glanced up, my gaze meeting that of Cerberus. With a huff, the alpha lycan dragged his body over mine, dropping to the floor on all fours. I reached down and retrieved my mask from where it had fallen. Familiar pain shot through my body, now in my hips as well. Upon receiving my full weight, my knees buckled, nearly giving way beneath me. Soft fur brushed my side.

    "On," Cerberus growled, bowing low so that it was possible for me to mount without vaulting.

    "But-"

    "You can barely stand."

    I blinked down at him. "What about yesterday?"

    The lycan huffed. "I have always known of your fear. Yesterday changes nothing."

    "Then... why?"

    His gaze met mine. "You didn''t trust me."

    I didn''t speak, I could think of nothing to say. We stayed silent, staring into each other''s eyes. Slowly, a small smile made its way to my features. I lifted my mask, tying it on before swinging myself onto the lycan''s back. My fingers tangled in his thick fur. My thighs gripped at the space behind his shoulder blades where I could feel his muscles flex with every movement.

    "Fair enough, Alpha." I settled down onto his back. "Let''s see if Lord Perimone is ready to give up his lands."

    I could hear the wolfish grin in his voice. "As my lady wishes."

    Cerberus leapt from the top of the stairs, landing gracefully beside my throne. His snarl vibrated through him as he stalked across the platform and turned towards the four humans who had been herded into the hallway. I wondered if he growled at Lord Perimone or Howens. I doubted the two guards that accompanied them were threat enough to warrant a warning. Brennon sat below the platform, seemingly at ease despite the dozen lycans nearby. He thought himself above their threat. I ignored him. I had other matters of more importance at the moment.

    "So, it seems you finally came up with a better offer," I said, sitting tall. "I''m glad. I was starting to get a little impatient."

    It had been a while since I felt truly powerful, not just hiding behind a scary mask. Since I realized most of the lycans were likely more afraid of their alpha than loyal to me, I had struggled to keep dominance. Yet now I knew, no matter our pack order, Cerberus was still my hellish guardian.

    In contrast, the confident man I met a mere month ago was shaking with withdrawal. He may have lasted an impressive time between his first doses, but his will was not so strong now. I couldn''t help but glance to Brennon.

    "I came to implore you to stop this madness," Perimone pleaded. "Surely a jury would lighten your sentence, if only you would show a little remorse."

    I snorted. "And here I thought juries disapproved of lies while on the stand."

    "Be reasonable-"

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    "I think I am. All I''m asking is to avoid war and skip straight to my reign." My smile widened to a grin at his awestruck expression. I leaned forward, idly scratching behind Cerberus''s ear. "Really, it would be more to your benefit than mine, since less people would be slaughtered. The lycans can be difficult to stop once they''re let loose, and they''re quite indiscriminate...."

    The politician actually fell to his knees, hands clasped together. It took all my well practiced self control to keep from snickering at the man''s pitiful foolishness. "Please, Desire, my love..."

    This time, the scoff came not from me, but below the pedestal, where Brennon sat. "You''d do better to save your breath, my lord. Her tastes swing more canine, if you know what I mean."

    My eyes widened. Blood rushed through me, burning in my veins. "Brennon!" I barked. Cerberus''s ears swiveled in my direction. "Hold your tongue!" I lowered my voice so only he could hear. "And if you dare enter my chambers again, my guard will tear you to pieces so small we¡¯ll need a bin to collect them."

    "Is that so?"

    Running my fingers through the lycan''s fur, I leaned closer to his face. "Cerberus, would you do that for me?"

    His shoulders flexed under my thighs. "With pleasure, my lady," he growled.

    "Keh, of course he would."

    "Hold your tongue, human!" the black lycan standing behind the Asken soldiers barked out, causing them to jump. "Or I will hold it for you."

    A wave of tension spread through Cerberus. It was unlike Thorn to speak out of turn. A lower, nearly inaudible snarl came from the alpha, warning his beta. Thankfully, though it was disrespectfully interjected, Brennon did quiet at Thorn''s words.

    I leaned down again, whispering in Cerberus''s ear, "Bring me closer."

    The lycan gave a quick nod before hopping down from the platform and stalking to the still kneeling Perimone. The man stared up at Cerberus''s barred teeth. Apparently, my guard was none too fond of the man who had me kidnapped from him. Howens stepped forward as well, hand resting on a sword hung at his side. The lycan let out a loud, threatening growl, licking at his exposed fangs. He was even less fond of the man who had done the kidnapping.

    "I''ve had enough of your sniveling," I huffed, staring down at the lord. "So I will speak, then ask you a yes or no question. If you answer to my satisfaction, I will give you what you crave. If you don''t, I''ll have Thorn rip apart one of your guards. Do we have an understanding?"

    Perimone nodded, slowly rising to his feet. Even standing at his full height, I still towered over a foot above him.

    "Good," I purred, before switching my voice to a more annoyed tone. "You were quite the figure when I first met you. I admit, I even thought it would be fun to be rivals." A lie, but the Lady of the Lycan Mountains never had any problem with that. My lip curled as I looked over his still pleading features. "But I underestimated just how far you''d fall. You did this to yourself, waiting so long. Imagine what a pitiful creature you will become if you deny yourself much longer. Not only will you suffer, but the villages and towns of your country as well. I doubt the people of Askance will tolerate that. You''ll lose your position. You''ll be a hated shell of a human living on the streets. Either way, I''m going to take revenge on the people who wronged me, it''s your choice if you want to stay on top, or sink to the bottom." My eyes narrowed. "So my question is, will you surrender Askance?"

    There was a pause, in which his eyes desperately searched mine. He found no mercy. The Lady of the Lycan Mountains had none.

    "Monster," he choked. "How can I love you?"

    "Idiot!" I barked, anger causing my face to flush. "You don''t love me! Nobody loves me, just my-!" I stumbled over my words. I almost let too much slip. I hurried to recover. "Shut up with your foolish delusions and answer my question! Will you, or will you not surrender Askance?!"

    "No," he breathed.

    My fist clenched in Cerberus''s fur. From the corner of my eye, I saw Thorn tense, a wicked grin on his features as he waited for the order. The soldiers both trembled under the lycan''s predatory gaze, their eyes focused on me. Their faces pleaded for mercy, to forgive a mistake that was not theirs. They wanted that which no one had ever shown me. Sometimes I doubted it existed at all.

    My fingernails dug into the flesh of my palms until I was certain I would bleed. "Out!" I shouted. "Get out of my hall! Get out of my lands! Just get out and rot in the mud! I don''t care anymore!"

    The humans didn''t need me to repeat myself. The guards scrambled over one another in their escape. Howens jogged in a much more dignified manner, though he was not foolish enough to test me. Only Perimone dared glance back. A snarl from Cerberus sent him scampering after the others.

    Suddenly aware of the newly acquired pain in my chest, I stiffened my elbows to keep from slumping over the lycan''s back. I had been distracted from the aching by the confrontation, but now I could clearly feel the pounding of my head and the soreness in my limbs. It hurt just shifting my legs. The pain nearly distracted me from the dozens of eyes focused on me.

    "Cerberus," I breathed, hoping the other lycans attributed my slight pant from shouting. "I need- I want some quiet... to think."

    His eyes met mine. It was difficult to tell, but it seemed concern lingered in those crimson irises. "As my lady wishes."

 Chapter 12: Brennon

    I didn''t leave my room for the next two days. By the end of the second, it seemed to me it would be nearly impossible. My body felt as though it had been tossed from the steepest of the mountain slopes. Cerberus brought me my meals, sometimes Henry''s cooking, others his own kills. The night previous, he dragged a giant stag to me. Its blood still stained the floor where it had rested, despite my maid''s best effort. The room carried the stench, but I didn''t care. After a few hours, I hardly noticed.

    "It smells like death in here."

    My head snapped up, only for a needle of pain to follow the movement. I was careful to suppress my cry to a light groan, hidden beneath Cerberus''s snarl. The albino lycan leaned forward from where he rested on the opposite side of my mattress, ready to pounce upon the intruder. My light touch stopped him. Crimson eyes flicked toward mine.

    "He hasn''t actually entered yet," I muttered.

    "Keh," Brennon scoffed, leaning on the door frame. "That''s the second time you''ve failed to carry through with your threats. Going soft?"

    "Don''t mistake kindness for weakness," I growled. "Step through that doorway and you¡¯ll find out how soft I really am."

    The man lifted an eyebrow, then strolled into the room, as self assured as ever. My fingers clutched at the lycan''s fur, holding him back. Brennon gave me a sideways glance. "I think you''re right. I can see clearly now."

    My lips pressed in a hard line. "I wouldn''t mock the one who has just shown you mercy."

    Brennon resumed his leaning position, this time on my bedpost. His eyes wandered to Cerberus, who was nearly drooling in fury. I wondered how much farther the human could go before the alpha lycan disregarded my wishes and tore the man limb from limb. I doubted it would take much, and yet the foolish man didn''t seem concerned in the least. Perhaps, despite his insistence otherwise, he still believed I had complete control over the lycans.

    "Why are you here?" I huffed. "Surely you have a better reason than just to test me."

    "I do."

    "And?"

    His gaze switched from Cerberus to me. "And I will tell you¡­ when the lycan leaves."

    Said lycan snarled. I tugged at his fur while keeping my focus fixed on the human before me. "You can''t come in here making demands."

    He shrugged. "Yes, I can, because now you want to know."

    I ground my teeth together. As much as I didn''t want to admit it, he was right. What could he possibly have to say that Cerberus couldn''t hear? Or perhaps he would make an attempt on my life. Such would be fool hearted. Even if he were to succeed, he would never escape the castle alive. Yet, it was also possible he didn''t care, and simply wanted me dead. He did seem to have a desire to stop me from harming anyone else. Would he give his life for it? Maybe I was over thinking, and he simply didn''t want the lycan to see him finally give in to the call of my drug.

    I paused, not speaking for a moment as I weighed my options. My voice was quiet. "Cerberus, leave us."

    "My lady-"

    "Go." I repeated. "Now."

    He hesitated. I felt the lycan''s fur bristle under my fingers. Looking back, my eyes met his. For a moment, I thought he wouldn''t heed my command. However, after much hesitation, Cerberus hopped from my mattress, landing on all fours and stalking from the room. Only once the lycan''s footsteps faded from our hearing did Brennon move.

    The man first made his way to the door, closing it before heading over to my bed and taking the seat my guardian previously occupied. I watched him, ever vigilant for any sudden moves that may indicate his intentions. I wore neither my gloves nor mask.

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    He leaned back on the post, observing me with equal intensity. "Don''t worry, I haven''t come here to kill you."

    "Then what have you come for?" I asked, suspicion remaining. "Cerberus is gone. Spit it out."

    He didn''t answer immediately. Tension grew in the air between us, until I felt one of us would surely break under its pressure. Thankfully, he was the first to bend. "I''ve... been thinking a lot these past few days."

    I raised my eyebrows. "About?"

    Brennon took a breath, then began, "Listen... I''ve had a lot of time to think and realize the truth. I can only imagine what I would do if I was born with your... condition."

    "No, you can''t."

    He glanced up from the floor. "What?"

    "You can''t imagine what it''s like to be born like me," I huffed. "No one can. How could you possibly know what it''s like to be a living fix, passed around like an object for as long as you can remember? The only way you could possibly know is if you were."

    "I didn''t mean-"

    "No, you didn''t mean anything," I growled, annoyed now. "Because how could you know what it feels like to be chained to a wall, fed scraps and clothed in rags, watching your horrid captor ruin his life on your skin? How could you possibly fathom what it feels like to watch someone murder your hated jailer, the hope you feel that maybe, possibly, this one will be better, then find out they''re worse? How can your stupid, sheltered mind comprehend just what it feels like for that to happen again, and again, and again, until you''re thrown into the mountains to die?!"

    I was furious, though I could hardly understand why. It was a simple comment, and frankly, the nicest he said to me thus far. But I continued on, letting my emotion take over my reason, "And even now, every citizen in this stupid country spits my name like a curse. Well, I don''t give a damn about them either! So why don''t you just spit out what you have to say before I call what little loyalty I have back here to destroy you?!"

    "I forgive you."

    "What?"

    He met my gaze. "You''re lonely and scared. I can see that now. I just want to let you know I forgive you." Then, without warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

    He lasted only a moment, having tasted my poison only once previously. Yet, within that instant, I had relaxed, giving into the kiss as I hadn''t any other. Too bad it was over quickly. Brennon collapsed to the side, landing on the mattress, unconscious.

    I stared at the man and cried.

    ***

    Brennon came to me every day after that, and every day I sent Cerberus away, despite the lycan''s growing reluctance to leave. He didn''t attempt to kiss me again, for which I was glad. I knew he was trying to break his addiction and touching me would only make it worse. He was kind to me, suddenly so different than the resentful man I captured. Every time we spoke, I felt a connection, like someone finally wanted me without the drug''s effects. For the first time since I could remember, I had companionship. For possibly the first time ever, I felt truly happy. I didn''t want to cause him any more pain than he was already suffering.

    Still, some part of me wanted to repeat that moment. My less logical side wanted that simple, pure acceptance the kiss had conveyed.

    We continued this pattern for a week, each day our talks growing longer. I awoke eager for his arrival and went to sleep smiling over what he said. He told me about village life. I showed him my books from the old world. Sometimes we just stared out the window, cursing how the world had crumbled. I even trusted him with knowledge of my growing pains. I trusted him, and he trusted me. It was all so perfect.

    Until the day Red came to me with news of the approaching army, ten thousand strong. It was that day I summoned all the humans in my castle to me.

    "There will be a war," I told them from my seat on my bed. I didn''t know when I started trusting them enough to hold meetings in my chambers, rather than the hall as I normally would. The Lady of the Lycan Mountains ruled from her throne, not her bedside. Regardless, there were only four of them, so the group easily fit within my room. "You''re all free to leave if you wish. Then, when it''s over, you''re free to return or not, whichever you want."

    They all left me, including Brennon.

    That night, Cerberus held me in his arms as I wept. His soot covered pelt stained my face black, but I didn''t care. I cried into his fur until his entire chest was damp with my tears. Only once I quieted did he lean forward, his whiskers brushing my cheek. His wet nose was cold against my skin as he growled softly in my ear,

    "I would never leave you.¡±

 Chapter 13: Messenger

    It was raining. It had been raining since the day the humans left. That was a few nights ago. Now they were gone and I could see the smoke of Asken army''s camp from my chamber window.

    A click alerted me to my door being opened. Cerberus trotted in, soaking wet, and a headless rabbit in his jaws. He set the decapitated animal at my feet. I briefly glanced its way before my gaze returned to the valley below.

    "I don''t eat fur," I mumbled.

    Cerberus gave a nod before picking up the rabbit again, this time in his paws. His claws dug in its pelt while the other hand grasped its hind legs. With a mighty yank, he ripped the hide clean from the carcass. The meal was dropped onto my lap.

    "Thank you." It was a murmured phrase, but one I meant nonetheless. Every joint in my body had begun to ache and every limb to weaken. It would be torture to do a task as simple as skinning the thing myself. It was difficult enough to simply grasp it to lift it to my mouth.

    My throat was slightly sore, making swallowing a bit challenging, but it tasted good. I almost smiled, though the exhaustion of my body reduced my reaction to a soft sigh. I always hoped to acquire a taste for raw meat, it seemed I finally had. If only ''finally'' didn''t feel like irony.

    Something was wrong with me, more than a simple flu. Now I didn¡¯t even have my nurse to treat me. It didn¡¯t matter; she¡¯d likely poison me to make me die faster.

    Cerberus pushed himself up from sitting like a dog to a position more akin to that of a man. "They begin to wonder," he said. "You sent the humans away, and only Red and I have spoken with you. The army in our territory makes them anxious."

    "I suppose I''ll have to make an appearance then." I sighed again. It seemed I had been doing that a lot lately.

    Familiar crimson eyes appeared in my line of vision. "Will you be strong enough?"

    This time, I actually did smile. My fingers combed through the fur of his cheek. He looked so funny, his coat soaked and white on top, matted and mud-splattered on his chest and legs.

    "I''ll have to be," I said.

    The lycan nodded, then lay down in front of me. I slid from my bed onto his back.

    My spine twisted slightly in time with the swing of his shoulders, sending small sparks of pain through me. At first I slouched over him, my head resting on the back of his thick neck. Then he gave the long howl which would summon the others. As we approached the hallway, I pushed myself upright.

    It was time for the Lady of the Lycan Mountains to give another performance.

    We were greeted by our usual chorus of barks and howls. Cerberus leapt onto the platform that served as my hall''s stage. He paced back and forth in front of my throne, waiting for the clamor to die down. It was then I realized, perhaps Cerberus was an actor just as I was. Perhaps he was even better. After all, no one had ever seen his strings. Only now did I wonder just what pulled those strings. What exactly motivated the alpha of lycans?

    "Greetings, my friends!" I called out, throwing my hands up in the air. I was rewarded by a responding series of barks. They didn''t see the way my eyes watered underneath my mask, nor how pained my false smile was. My joints may be rusted and my strings yellowed, but I still knew how to give a good performance.

    "No doubt you have noticed the army at our doorstep," I continued on, sitting up despite my urge to support myself. I was riding Cerberus because I was in control, not because I couldn''t stand. I chose to appear now because now was the time I saw fit, not because I was trying to hide weakness. "And I also know they outnumber us five to one." I shook my head because the idea was ridiculous, not because it worried me. "The fools," I laughed. "A hundred to one and it wouldn''t matter!" Confidence flowed from my skin like the drug. Too bad it was only skin deep. "These are our mountains! We''ll pick them off and feed them to our young!"

    Resounding yips and howls of approval followed this. Yes, I was one of them. This was not a mask I wore, it was my face.

    "Red!" The female was of my chosen few. I often used her to deliver messages, as she was one of the swiftest lycans. She was familiar, trusted even. I was a strong leader, a predictable leader. Everything was as it had always been. "Let''s send them a message, shall we?"

    She grinned, fur bristling in anticipation as she waited for my order. Red may be young, but she held significant influence, especially with the other females. She had given cubs to Graniteback and a litter to Thorn. With her heat come and past, perhaps her next litter would belong to Cerberus. Her loyalty secured many more.

    "Go to the human camp. Tell my beloved Perimone he brought quite the audience to his surrender. And if that isn''t their purpose..." I tapped my jaw, as if thinking, "...we appreciate the fresh meat."

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    She nodded and left. Several others followed her.

    I leaned forward, murmuring in Cerberus''s ear, "Let me sit on my throne."

    The alpha lycan brought me close to the high-backed chair so that I could slide from him onto its hard seat. The wood never seemed so uncomfortable before. I settled myself against the armrest, both appearing at ease and also feeling the intense relief of no longer needing to support myself. The others took this as a sign that our meeting was over and began to wander from the hall. I stared out the doors where Red had left.

    This pedestal was a very large stage. It was difficult to dance around it, wearing a drawn on smile and pretending the approaching army didn''t worry me. It was becoming even more difficult with my rusted joints.

    Maybe they knew I was a painted puppet. But maybe my performance could make them forget that. Maybe they wanted to believe, because, just maybe, they were worried too.

    Perhaps it would turn out we were all just the puppets of our desires.

    ***

    I stayed on my throne the rest of the day and throughout the night. I wanted to be there when Red returned. I wanted to hear Perimone''s reply for myself.

    Yet, as the sun broke over the rocky horizon, she still had yet to return. The task should have only taken an hour or two. She should have been back sometime ago. My concern grew with the light of day.

    I sent out several other scouts in search of her. What they brought me was not a female lycan, but a man.

    He wasn''t a particularly large man. In fact, I would call him scrawny were it not for his swollen midsection. It was difficult to tell how old he was, he had the look of someone aged with work and sun. The man wore the garb of a soldier, but I doubted he was one by trade, or even choice. His lack of weapon and numerous small scrapes told me he had run from my scouts. Any experienced warrior would know they couldn''t outrun a lycan. My guess was he was a new recruit, drafted from his fields.

    Yet, he was not empty-handed. The man clutched a box constructed of thin wood. It in itself was uninteresting, most likely a small food crate. It was the crimson liquid dripping from the bottom that caught my attention.

    "What is that?" I barked, pointing to the box.

    "My lady," he started, giving a slight bow despite his trembling. "I am a messenger from Lord Perimone."

    "I know that!" I didn''t bother asking his name. I didn''t really care. "Show me what''s in the box!"

    My demand seemed to make the man tremble even more. His fingernails rattled against the wood as he slowly pulled the pins from their latches. I sat on the edge of my throne as he shook the box, allowing the cover to come free.

    Red''s head fell out.

    I screamed. It had been years since I allowed such raw, unfiltered emotion to flow through me. But that, the severed head of my messenger, it broke down all the barriers I had constructed within myself. With the dams gone, the floodwater came.

    "Mercy! Mercy!" The man cried, now surrounded by a pack of snarling lycans. "I''m only the messenger!"

    "So was she!" I hissed through my tears. I was actually crying, openly and unapologetically. I had known Red for years, and now this man brought me her defiled remains. I hated him. I wanted him dead. Not the Lady of the Lycan Mountains... me.

    "Kill him!" I screeched.

    I didn''t need to tell the lycans twice. The messenger was dead before I could finish the order.

    ***

    It was raining and muddy. The weather was horrid. It always was in the Lycan Mountains, which made it a horrid place to live. Still, I would rather be cold and soaked to the skin than live in Askance.

    Cerberus''s fur was slick, making it difficult to hold onto. My limbs were sore and weak. They protested with each of his bounding strides. But I hardly noticed the pain shooting up my spine as the lycan leapt from ledge to ledge on our descent down the mountainside. The rage boiling through my veins dulled all other sensations.

    My mount landed on the mountain''s road, once again jarring my back. I recognized the area as the lycans gathered around us. It was the exact spot I had met Perimone''s messenger assassin. We bounded down the road.

    We covered ground quickly. The lycans were tireless and as motivated by their anger as I was, as was evident by their collective snarls as the Asken army''s camp came within our view.

    They had created their base at the foot of the steep cliff. An unwise position, the lycans could descend upon them much faster than they could escape. Perimone''s stupidity mattered little to me though, the geography suited my theatrics.

    Cerberus started the long, loud howl. Within seconds the others joined him, their chorus crescendoing into an unignorable call. It didn''t take long for the Asken Lord to respond. A crowd gathered at the bottom of the cliff, including Perimone himself. Soon it seemed all members of the Asken army stood before us.

    This performance was not for the lycans. Neither was it for the soldiers below. This was solely for Lord Perimone. I didn''t say anything. There was no need to, my purpose was clear enough. I lifted my hand, raising my message high.

    Perimone went pale. Beside him, I saw Howens smirk. He expected this. The thought made me scowl.

    I tossed my message out over the rocks. It rolled and bounced down the steep slope. The man''s mutilated head landed at Perimone''s feet.

    The Asken Lord foolishly insisted he loved me. I originally planned on letting him spiral into madness from withdrawal. However, sending me Red''s head changed that. Now I would show him just how poisonous my love could be.

 Chapter 14: Attack

    Dusk was upon the mountains. Burgundy splattered across the sky before the clouds closed in like curtains over a stage. Hundreds of lycans gathered on the rocks of the steep mountain slope.

    Perimone must have expected our attack. Perhaps he anticipated we would come at dawn. If he was clever, he would be prepared for a night raid. But I would strike sooner than that, while they made preparations for their rest and the dying light allowed my lycans to see much better than the soldiers.

    It was a special time between darkness and light when their torches were not yet lit. The only fires in the whole camp were in the two wooden guard towers they directed to look over the short cliff, constructed roughly a thousand feet apart. I suppose the army foresaw its camp''s visual disadvantage and sought to remedy their error. It wouldn''t matter, though. The sentries couldn''t possibly warn the men bedded in their tents in time for the soldiers to prepare themselves for battle.

    Nearly a thousand lycans stood ready to charge over the cliff and send the camp into chaos. Another six hundred waited for the fleeing men to come their way.

    Meanwhile, Cerberus and I were positioned to the side of the camp, hidden in the dense trees, but still able to clearly see the battlefield before us. We would charge only when the commotion reached its peak. When the men''s panic outweighed their advantage in numbers, we would find Lord Perimone and kill him.

    I would cut this snake''s head off before it had the chance to bite again. The Asken army would march no further into lycan territory.

    A cold wind blew through the trees, tearing the heat from my limbs. For once, it wasn''t raining. It had stopped earlier that morning, giving the noon sun a chance to dry the area. The crisp leaves cracked under Cerberus''s weight.

    "You shouldn''t have come," he said, a slight growl tinting his voice. "You''re too weak."

    "I''m fine," I snapped, irritation coloring mine. "I told you I feel better."

    I sat up straight. I felt the pain. It hurt worse than ever. Every joint in my body protested with each breath. Yet, at the same time, I didn''t feel it. I was completely disconnected, aware but not influenced by my aches. I knew only rage and determination. It coursed through my veins like blood.

    Why had I sent Red into the enemy''s camp? Why not someone else, someone I didn''t know?

    "You have," he huffed. Something about the albino lycan''s tone made me suspect he wanted to say more, or perhaps I simply felt the need to explain myself.

    "I want to see him die."

    His neck arched slightly as he bowed his head. "As my lady wishes."

    My fingers clenched together, twisting his thick fur around them. I had ridden Cerberus while he killed before. I had felt the flexing of his shoulders as his claws tore into flesh, the way his neck muscles tensed beneath my palms as his jaws clamped around an adversary''s throat, spraying my face with blood spurted from a punctured jugular. I had even watched their life drain from their eyes as they bled out.

    During my childhood, the sight was as familiar to me as the passing of seasons. Now it seemed more akin to the passing of days.

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    I wouldn''t grieve for Perimone''s death. The loss of what little power I held over Askance was of no consequence to me. I wanted to see him die. I wanted to hear his screams as Cerberus ripped his limbs from his body. I wanted to sever his head from his shoulders and send it back to Obria in a wooden box.

    I hated him.

    There was no verbal signal. We couldn''t afford to alert the Askan army to our attack. However, the movements of the lycans atop the cliff were clear to see. The group was led by Blackbear. They charged forward, galloping towards the cliff''s edge.

    Only once Blackbear''s fastest warriors had leapt to the highest of ledges was the alarm sounded. Shouts could be heard from the guard towers. The camp below exploded into chaos. Men leapt from their tents, scrambling for their weapons in the dying light. Some attempted to light torches, but only a few succeeded before the first lycans reached the cliff''s foot.

    The ground gave way beneath their paws.

    The entire section between the towers collapsed, sending the lycans tumbling into the pit below. The others who hadn''t reached the bottom tried to stop themselves, but their momentum and the steep slope prevented it. Those yet to start their descent eagerly leapt over the cliff''s edge, unaware of the turmoil.

    "I can''t see!" I screamed. I had to know if there were pikes in the pit. From my current position, I couldn''t even see how deep it was. Thankfully, Cerberus understood my meaning and bounded forward onto an open ledge.

    From there, we could clearly make out the area. The pit was no more than ten feet deep, hardly enough to kill a lycan. Still, there were several dead, perhaps from broken necks or crushed beneath their falling pack mates. Many more howled and cried in pain from injuries. Yet the vast majority seemed unharmed and quickly untangled themselves. No sooner had they recovered from their fall than they began to wade through the thick black substance coating the bottom and climb up the walls. I realized what it was a moment before I saw the tower archers dip their arrows in fire.

    "No-"

    The pit exploded into flames. Even some warriors who managed to cling to the cliff rock were caught in the roaring inferno. Those high-pitched screams I hated so much filled the air. They rose in an inhuman crescendo of pure suffering.

    Cold spread through me like ice water in my veins. My eyes were wide, despite the black smoke that stung them. I could no longer see them, but I could imagine them writhing in agony as the flesh melted from their bones, burning them a thousand times more than the heat which bit at my own skin. I could taste the oil¡¯s foul stench in the air. Somehow I was crying, but my eyes were dry. The fire burned my tears before they had a chance to fall. Then I found my voice.

    "No!" I screeched. "Stop it! Stop it!" I wasn''t sure who I was screaming at. It hardly mattered, my voice was so cracked and hoarse my words were unrecognizable. "Stop it! Stop!!!"

    "Hush!" Cerberus barked.

    "No! We have to save them!"

    "We cannot save the dead."

    "We can''t leave them!"

    "We must!"

    "But-"

    "Quiet!"

    My jaw clamped shut as my eyes continued to water without producing tears. My stomach turned. Cerberus never snapped at me, not like that.

    The albino alpha stared me in the eye, blood red irises searching mine. He held my gaze only a moment before turning away from the flames. I twisted around to look back to the Asken camp.

    "Look away, my lady."

    I didn''t heed his words.

    "Desire, you don''t want to see them when the smoke clears."

    He was right. I didn''t want to see what I already had. I tore my eyes from the massacre and buried my face in his fur. His strong shoulder blades rolled under my thighs as he bounded up the mountainside.

 Chapter 15: Surrender

    My hall was nearly empty. Where more than forty of my top warriors and scouts once rested, there were only five. Less than fifteen in my entire lair. The castle was more abandoned than it had been in years.

    Every inch of my body hurt. I lay motionless on my throne, feeling as though the entire castle rested on my chest, slowly crushing me beneath it. Wet streaks dried on my cheeks where tears had leaked from under my mask. I wasn''t crying anymore, though. It wasn''t that I had gone numb; I felt the pain and grief more than ever. It was just that, after all these years, I had finally grown used to suffering.

    It was all my fault. I worked so hard to convince myself I was moving toward an achievable end, bathed so many villages in blood to reach it, all while everything had done nothing but fall further apart. The human lives I took were trivial to me, but now I had brought the lycans to ruin as well. That alone was unbearable.

    Perhaps Brennon was right. Maybe my tastes did really swing more canine. I would have laughed if I could.

    I had to end this before they paid an even higher price for my mistakes. It took me a moment to muster the energy to speak. Even then, it was barely above a whisper.

    "I''m surrendering."

    Cerberus tensed, ears flicking my way. "What?"

    "I''m giving myself up. We''ve lost. A few hundred warriors can¡¯t fight ten thousand."

    The lycan let out a soft growl. "No. You can''t leave us."

    I sighed. "Cerberus, it''s the only way to save you. Maybe I''ll get the chance to touch Perimone and-"

    He stood up. "You cannot leave us!" he barked, towering over me.

    My lips pursed, forming a frown. Of course, he was making this harder, as if returning to the life I escaped wasn''t already difficult enough. My heart felt like it was caught in a vice. I could very well be sentenced to death, or worse, life as a prisoner. Couldn''t he see I was sacrificing myself for them? The withdrawal may be horrid, but surely it was better than their extinction. "This is the only way."

    "No!" he snapped.

    My jaw clenched, deepening my frown. Why couldn''t he understand this was for his own good? "Well, I am!" I retorted. "I''m the Lady of the Lycan Mountains and you can''t stop me!"

    I was thrown back in my chair. Long claws encircled my throat. The other paw-like hand supported the massive canine as he towered over me. "I am your alpha!" he barked, pressing the rough pads of his fingers to my neck. Dirt from the forest floor ground in my skin. "You will obey and submit!" I could smell fresh blood on his breath as he panted, more from anger than exertion. His voice lowered to a soft snarl. "You can''t leave me."

    As always, I was struck by the intense coloration of his irises. The only pigmentation on his entire body was a slight darkening around his nose and eyes. I often wondered what he would look like if he hadn''t been born with his condition. I thought about it as often as I wondered who I would be without mine.

    His fur was still damp from crossing some stream or river. My hand pressed against his chest. He released me as I let out a small, bitter laugh.

    "So, that is how it is," I laughed again, this time choking on the sound. "You know, I can''t even consider this a betrayal, because..." I struggled to stand. Only once I managed to get my feet under me did I speak. "I don''t want to lead anymore."

    My body collapsed onto the cold stone. My strings weren''t enough to hold me upright. They had snapped under the pressure.

    "Desire!"

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    "It''s okay," I murmured as the albino alpha knelt beside me. "I''m going to need you to tell me what to do now, because I don''t know." I was laughing, but tears were starting to stream down my face. "To tell you the truth, I never really knew."

    I had no mask to hide behind; it had fallen off when I tried to stand. I hadn''t noticed much at the time, but now I felt naked without it. "So you have to tell me now. I trust you." I clutched at his chest like a frightened child seeking protection. "Just promise you won''t die on me too!"

    For one horrible, terrifying moment, it was so silent it seemed as though all sound had vanished from the world.

    Then a long, wet tongue slid up my face, catching my tears. Padded hands gripped my arms as a furred jaw hooked over my shoulder.

    "I won''t let you go so easily." I could feel his voice rumble in his chest, even through his thick coat. He pulled back, letting go to stand on his hind legs. The lycan stared down at me from his impressive height. "Stay here, where the castle can protect you, my lady."

    I wiped the rest of the tears and saliva from my face. "I''m no longer your lady, Alpha."

    Cerberus shook his head, bending over to take a hold of me. He lifted me as easily as the fallen puppet I imagined I was and set me back on my throne. "You will always be the Lady of the Lycan Mountains."

    I smiled. It was as if the weight I carried for so long was being lifted from my chest, as if he were the one taking it from me. For once, I didn''t curse those who cast me into the mountains to die. I was finally able to release the fear I had held since that day. Cerberus would never hurt me.

    "I object to that."

    Cerberus''s hackles raised as he slowly turned to face the black furred lycan. "Why?"

    "Because we already followed her orders," Thorn huffed. "We bowed at her feet, hoping for a taste of that first rush," he snarled. "But perhaps you forget, Blood Eye, that we don''t all get to curl up with her at night. The most we can hope for is to be chosen to fight her villagers. We served her like dogs for years, and look what it brought us. It''s time she quit ordering us about and repaid us for our loyalty."

    The alpha lycan chuffed, staring down his beta. "That will not happen."

    "Says you," Thorn growled. My guardian snarled, licking his exposed fangs as the dark male continued on. "I won''t follow you anymore. Sometimes I don''t even know what to call you, the fearsome Blood Eye, or Desire''s pet Cerberus."

    Thorn barely had time to finish before the albino was on him. The lycans fell back, snarling and snapping. The two did a complete somersault before breaking apart, rolling to their feet, only to charge each other once again. Claws raked across Cerberus''s snout as Thorn smacked his face away. The alpha paid the injury no mind, continuing to snap at his challenger even as blood ran down his jaw. Paws tangled in contrasting coats. The two massive canines leaned into one another, supporting each other as they tried to push their opponent down. Long nails scraped across the stone platform. The clicks they made were lost in the cacophony of growls and yelps.

    It was impossible to discern which way the fight was going, the lycans were moving too fast. My heartbeat quickened as I watched Cerberus''s fur slowly stain red, though from whose blood I couldn''t tell. It seemed both were landing bone crushing blows.

    Thorn. He was the second lycan I had touched. He was part of every outing I accompanied the lycans on and led many of his own. I had known him nearly as long as I had Cerberus, and was relieved beyond measure that I assigned him and Graniteback to lead the lycans below the cliffs, rather than the attacking force.

    Thorn, who hunted for me. Thorn, who was always eager to fight for me. Thorn, who never once questioned my authority.

    It was as if my heart stopped and my blood froze inside my veins. I watched Cerberus''s paw swipe across his face, tearing deep gashes over his eye. Thorn''s claws raked through the bloodstained fur of his chest, drawing more in their wake. The albino lunged forward, grabbing Thorn''s throat in powerful jaws. Long canines buried into the beta male''s jugulars, causing crimson liquid to pour from both of the lycans¡¯ mouths. Cerberus secured his grip and shook.

    It was worse than watching him torture the blacksmith in Merrer. Thorn''s body thrashed against the floor. I wanted to cry out, to scream, anything at all. But my throat remained thoroughly sealed by shock. It was too late anyway. Anyone could see he was throwing around a corpse.

    The alpha lycan released his opponent, standing hunched over the remains. His body shook as he panted. Blood dripped from his jaws as well as his various wounds. A low growl rumbled from his chest. The hall was dead silent. Nothing dared move.

    The lycan let out a blood chilling roar.

    Even the rain was soundless. Perhaps it too was frozen in shock or fear.

    "Trouble amongst the ranks?"

    I tore my eyes from the horrific scene to look where two men stood in the hall''s entryway. One was young, handsome, and confident. The other was old and pale as snow. My gaze remained fixed on the first.

    "Brennon..."

 Chapter 16: Dr. Ester

    I didn''t know how I felt. So many emotions ran rampant through me I couldn''t distinguish them. It was as if my very being was in a state of conflict as I settled on the bed Cerberus had set me on. The room was not my own. I couldn''t bear the sight of the Asken army through my chamber''s window. This was far plainer, not much more than a bed and chairs in a stone room. Brennon and the man sat across from me. We stared at each other for a full minute before I spoke.

    "So, you decided to come back."

    "That I did," was his reply.

    I ground my teeth together. "You can''t just come waltzing in my lair with some old guy."

    He raised an eyebrow. "Apparently I can. Honestly, I expected to be dragged up the mountain by one of your scouts." The elder man seemed alarmed by this, but Brennon paid him no mind. He was as cocky and cool as ever. "But we didn''t encounter a single lycan until we passed your gates. Why is that?"

    I couldn''t meet his eyes. His questioning stare reminded me of the expression Blackbear wore when I asked him to lead the main force, before I had explained Graniteback and Thorn were responsible for the smaller packs. We had all been so determined then, I couldn''t imagine anything but success. I was such a fool.

    "You were right," I said, staring down at my lap. There was dried blood there. "I didn''t want to sit on the throne when Perimone came for me. It''s all my fault."

    Brennon was silent for a minute. I hated it. Only anticipation ever filled silences. "Send the lycan away and we can talk."

    Cerberus growled. My fingers twisted in the sheets of the bed, left there from when one of the servants occupied the room. Would he listen to me now? I doubted it. He never seemed to like Brennon. Besides, I found I didn''t really want him to go. The albino lycan was the only one I truly trusted at the moment.

    "No."

    He frowned. "Desire, this is important."

    "I know, but," I bowed my head even lower, "I don''t have that say so anymore."

    "But-" he paused, filling the air with that wretched silence again as he looked between Cerberus and me. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision. "I see."

    "Why did you come back?" The question had been burning in my throat since he arrived.

    "This man is a doctor," was his explanation. "He was halfway through his studies when the old world collapsed."

    Said man certainly looked old enough to have come from the old world. His skin was as frail as the morning frost. As for the part of doctor, he carried a bag that I would guess contained supplies, though it was his kindly face that convinced me. He had the face of someone who helped others. His tattered coat wasn''t frayed, meaning it was newly torn. From what I could tell by the fabric, he was hardly a man of means, but not to the point of poverty. He came from one of the smaller towns then.

    "I worked an internship at a center developing cures to poisons." The man''s voice tremored slightly, but there was no mistaking the gentle tone to his words. "From what Brennon has told me, you''ve been suffering from aches lately?"

    My eyes flicked between the two, frowning. I had hoped he wouldn''t tell anyone that. Although, this doctor had hiked the dangerous Lycan Mountains to come to me. Perhaps Brennon was right to trust him.

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    "Yes," I answered, unable to keep the suspicion from my voice, "what of it?"

    "Well, I hoped I could treat it."

    I exchanged a glance with Cerberus. His crimson eyes held the same hesitation as mine, but he didn''t object.

    "Very well," I said, raising myself up the best I could, a tactic I often used to fake confidence. I tried not to picture how ridiculous I looked doing it now. "But, you will have to take anything you give me." I may be choosing to trust him for now, but I wouldn''t be making anymore foolish decisions. Kindly as he may seem, there was no telling if this man had reason to kill me. I had given plenty of people that.

    The elder doctor nodded. "Of course. I will get to work immediately."

    ***

    Cerberus was gone hunting when Brennon came to me the next morning. I wondered if he had waited for the lycan to leave, or if it were mere coincidence. Most likely the former. Brennon was as suspicious of Cerberus as the alpha was of him. I supposed being around an eight foot man-eating canine was unnerving to most people. The man sat on the edge of my bed. I didn''t have the strength to sit up.

    "It''s advancing fast, isn''t it?"

    "Yeah," I sighed, looking away. "I''ve been fighting it for a while, but it''s getting harder..."

    He nodded, staring down at me. I could have smiled at the sympathy in his eyes. "You know it''s the drug that''s doing this to you, don''t you?"

    I grimaced. "Yes. I guessed that a while ago, too."

    "Dr. Ester is going to cure you."

    "Yeah, sure."

    "I''m serious," he stated, catching my eye. "He says there used to be substances that had an effect like yours, but the old world found a cure for them. He thinks if he can just recreate it, it will stop its effects on you."

    His gaze was so steady, so calm and assured, I couldn''t help but believe him. A small glimmer of hope sparked within me. Just for a moment, I let it shine.

    "You know," I said. "No one ever told me what it feels like. All the people who have ever touched me, and not one bothered to describe the experience." I was just trying to change the subject before I got too hopeful, but I was genuinely curious. I knew it felt good, but beyond that, I couldn''t tell.

    He frowned in thought. "It made me feel... happy."

    I furrowed my brows. "Just happy?" Surely there was more to it than just happiness. Or maybe Brennon was different and that was why he could refuse my touch.

    The man snorted. "No, not just happy. That first time you touched me, I felt more joy than I ever had before. More joy than I knew I could feel. I was giddy for hours. I loved everyone. It was as if the planets aligned, and everything was right in the world. That night I watched the stars until the sun came up. Something about the way they shone was hypnotizing. I could see the past and future in those stars. I wasn''t just happy, I was happy beyond what any human has the right to feel." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "And when I kissed you... it was euphoric..."

    I stared at him. I suffered my whole life so people could feel happy? They held me captive so they could think this messed up world was right? My addicts killed each other so they could feel alive.

    The irony was somewhere between hilarious and sickening. I had always looked down on those who fell under my spell. I couldn''t imagine anything that would drive me to ruin the way they seemed to run to it. But.. could I really say I wouldn''t do the same? All I ever wanted to feel was happiness.

    I really was dangerous.

    There was the click of claws on stone. Cerberus appeared in the open doorway, dragging a wild sow in his jaws. Both lycan and human stood at the same time, eyeing one another. The alpha let out a low chuff, to which Brennon responded with a sigh.

    "I''ll inform Dr. Ester you''re awake," he murmured, before walking out the door. Red eyes followed him down the hall. Only after the human disappeared did they fix their gaze on me.

 Chapter 17: Cure

    I woke up with an impending sense of doom. Cerberus wasn''t beside me. It was a surprise his leaving didn''t wake me. Without him near, I was vulnerable and alone. When I opened my eyes, the world was hazy. For some reason, I could only find bitter humor in the situation. My poison really did work fast.

    The click of his claws sounded as though it was much farther away. A white blur appeared in my vision, which I assumed to be the albino alpha. The words he spoke confirmed my fears.

    "The Asken army has arrived at our gates."

    I struggled to swallow. I felt cold despite my leather jacket. The chill came from inside. "What are you going to do?" I choked out.

    "Defend the castle," he spoke in a growl. "There are a hundred within and the others aren''t far in the forests."

    "How many has he brought?"

    "A few thousand, though we''ve been snatching them from the road. The others wait below."

    It was hard to breathe. Even harder to speak. My throat was raw and burned with each syllable. I sounded like a crow. "We are still vastly outnumbered."

    "I know," he huffed. "But we will defend you until the last lycan if necessary." The blur disappeared. I assumed he turned to leave.

    "Please don''t," I croaked. "Just give me to them. I''m dying anyway..."

    Cerberus snarled. "No, you''re not."

    "Cerberus, please-"

    "The doctor finished his cure."

    My heart stopped. Was it true? Could I be saved?

    "Take it," the lycan huffed. "I must organize our forces."

    There was something in his voice, a sort of hesitance. My mind replayed the order several times over, trying to find the reason for those notes in his tone, even after he left the room.

    It was not long waiting until Brennon and Dr. Ester came in. It was difficult to tell which was which, save for the fact Brennon was several inches taller. The elder man walked to the edge of my bed, holding what appeared to be a cup of water. Brennon sat beside me.

    "He did it Desire."

    "Will it work?" It was a foolish question, but my mind wasn''t clear enough to stop the words coming out. I decided to say something logical before either could answer. "Show me it''s safe"

    Dr. Ester moved, though that was the most I could tell. Still, no one knew of my failing vision, so I assumed they wouldn''t try to fool me. It hardly mattered anyway, I could feel my life withering away.

    "Okay," I said when he returned to his original position. "So this... cure, what is it supposed to do?"

    Another weight pressed to the side of my mattress. I assumed the doctor was beside me. He seemed bigger than before.

    "I believe your immune system has started to fight its poison, which seems to be present throughout your body. Therefore, your body is attacking itself. If the poison is neutralized in your bloodstream, your immune system will calm and you will be able to heal.

    ¡°Your particular drug is quite similar to several in the old world, which we had medicine to counteract. I¡¯ve recreated it to the best of my ability. This cure may take several hours to work, but hopefully will have a more permanent effect." He took a breath before continuing on. "By tomorrow, not only should it purge it from your body, but also prevent your system from producing it in the future."

    "Wait," I paused, thinking over his words. It was hard to concentrate on anything. "You mean I''ll lose it... forever?"

    "That is my hope."

    It was everything I wanted. If it wasn''t for my poison, I wouldn''t be dying. I wouldn''t have grown up in the horrible situation that I had.

    Without my poison, I would be normal... human...

    "No."

    The figures in front of me froze. The one with Brennon''s voice leaned forward. "What? Why?!"

    "The lycans..."

    "Don''t worry about them," he assured me. "We''ll leave the mountains. We can live in a village on the other side of Askance. They won''t be able to find you."

    "No, not that..." It was as if the skin had been torn from my throat. But I had to speak, I couldn''t give up my drug. "They''ll suffer...without it..."

    They wouldn''t want me anymore...

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    Brennon snorted. I couldn''t see, but I was certain he rolled his eyes. "It doesn''t matter. They kill people, Desire. They made you kill people. You shouldn''t waste sympathy on them."

    "They didn''t make me do anything!" I snapped. That hurt. I lowered my voice. "They did everything I asked and I got them killed..." Maybe I would have started to cry, were I able. I felt the pressure under my eyes, but no tears came. "I can''t make them suffer anymore."

    They would hate me if I denied them...

    "Desire." He was so close I could almost make out his face. His hands rested on my shoulders. I heard a faint growl, but Brennon didn''t seem to notice. "You''ll die without the cure and the lycans will be out of luck anyway. Don''t you understand? You''ll die!"

    I shook my head. Everything seemed to spin with the movement. "I know that! Don''t you think I can feel it? I can''t even see straight!"

    They only accepted me because of the addiction...

    "Then take it!"

    "I can''t!" I cried. "My blood... they can use that for a while... maybe if they wean off of it..."

    I was nothing without my poison.

    Brennon¡¯s hands tightened around my arms. It was hard to tell, but I thought I could see the shadow of a frown. "You don''t want to cause any more suffering, right?"

    I tried to breathe through my nose. It was impossible, but my throat burned with the rush of air from my mouth. My voice failed me, so I settled for a slight nod.

    "Then what about me? What about those who will grieve for you?" His fingers dug into my shoulders so hard that it hurt. "Don''t leave me Desire! I love you!"

    My entire world stopped. I had heard those words before. So many of my captors had said them, then laughed. Perimone hadn''t laughed, but the joke was on him. People didn''t care about me. My drug was the only thing that made me worth anything at all to them. No one wanted me without it.

    But Brennon wanted me to give it up. He didn''t want my poison.

    And yet, Cerberus...

    I clenched my jaw. "I can''t betray them... They''re dying for me... At least if I die¡­ I didn''t abandon them.¡±

    "Is keeping your legion really so important to you that you''d die?"

    Was it? Humans, they weren''t worth it. None so much as protested my treatment. But the lycans... the pack... my pack...

    "Yes."

    Silence. His fingers eased their grip. I counted the moments by my heart beats.

    "Even if you were to lose your poison, you still wouldn''t leave, would you?"

    I hesitated. Could I leave? Could I simply abandon the Lycan Mountains and go live a normal life among humans? I wouldn''t have to deal with the morning mists and frequent rains. I could eat cooked food and not be surrounded by bones. I wouldn''t have to worry about being weak. I wouldn''t be alone.

    "No, I wouldn''t."

    There may be thunderstorms more often than not, but the mountains were my home. I was the Lady of the Lycan Mountains.

    He let out a small laugh. The sound surprised me. It sounded so bitter. "I should have known you were beyond redemption."

    All heat left my body. My throat was suddenly so dry it was difficult to speak. "What?"

    Another growl. Dr. Ester twisted to look back. Brennon snorted, still oblivious. "It''s your own trick. You played it on Perimone. You tried playing it on Howens. You captured Henry and who knows how many others. It''s clear you don''t have any idea how love actually works. Otherwise you would know people can''t fall in love with someone they completely hate!" His voice echoed in my ears. "But you were naive and I was willing to live my whole life silently despising you if it would keep you from hurting anyone else. No one should have to go through what I did!"

    My chest hurt with a pain that had nothing to do with my poison. Or perhaps it did. I hesitated to ask, "What did I do?"

    "You made me happy! I watched my master, the man I apprenticed under for years, be ripped apart before my eyes. And do you know what I felt? I was happier than I ever before! I watched his head get torn off and all I could think of was how beautiful you were. I was hitting on you while your dog desecrated my friend! A demon like you could never understand what kind of guilt that is!"

    "Then why didn''t you just kill me? You had plenty of chances!" The words were like vomiting razors, but I didn''t care. I screamed them anyway.

    "Because I''m not you! I''m not a murderer!"

    The doctor was shoved aside and Brennon stumbled back, away from the snarling lycan. Furred forearms pressed into my mattress, shielding me from the man. His sneer was evident in his voice.

    "I wondered when your guard dog would show up."

    My jaw trembled. Somehow, this pain was far, far worse than what my body experienced. Betrayal. Heartbreak. It was like getting stabbed in the chest. My mind couldn''t comprehend it.

    Brennon, the first human I had ever felt a connection with, hated me? But we sat together, talking about anything that came to our minds. I told him almost everything about myself. Yet, he had never mentioned being a blacksmith''s apprentice. Was anything he told me true?

    "You liar," I choked. Cerberus snarled. His fur bristled against my chest. "I hate you! You horrible pacifist! Why couldn''t you just kill me and be done with it?"

    "Because that''s the one trait we share. We could never pull that trigger."

    I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to get up and stab him myself, just to make him feel my pain. Yet, I couldn''t. Even if I had the strength, I wouldn''t have been able. He may have deceived me, but he was still the only man ever to refuse my poison. He was still the only human I had connected with, even if it was a lie.

    "Get out." I hissed. My eyes burned as badly as my throat, but remained just as dry.

    Brennon sighed. "So it seems this time is no different." Aggression colored his tone as he spit his mockery at me. "I could never kill anyone. But you, I wish I had."

    Claws dug into my mattress, ripping the fabric. The world seemed to slow. I was aware of the white form sailing over me. I felt the claws of his hind feet drag across my arm. The mattress tilted as they made contact where his forepaws had left, launching the lycan across the room. He snarled as he collided with the man, tackling him. Brennon made no sound other than a slight huff as he fell to the floor. I may not be able to see, but I could tell he didn''t struggle, even as the canine tore into him with vicious teeth. He spared me the screams I hated so much.

    When Cerberus stood, I knew the man wasn''t alive. The alpha lycan never left them alive. He fixed me with those red eyes, so vibrant I could see them despite my hazy vision

    "Why?" My voice was little more than a whisper.

    "Because you couldn''t."

 Chapter 18: Fall

    Dr. Ester left me. I was glad of it. He seemed well intentioned. I didn''t want him to be caught in the mess that would transpire when Perimone''s forces broke through the lycans. Several warriors came for orders from their alpha, but eventually they left as well. Only Cerberus remained. Cerberus was always by my side, watching over me with crimson eyes. Even after my vision faded to black, I could feel him there.

    I found I couldn''t blame them, any of my adversaries. For two years I terrorized the northern villages of Askance. I poisoned its leader''s mind. Perimone was not the lord who banished me to the mountains; he was merely a pawn who failed his job. But as Lord, had he ever done more than defend his people? It was I who had made myself his enemy, after all. And Howens, he had simply been following orders. He had the chance to assassinate me. It would have been too easy. But he hadn''t harmed me. Yet, I still hated them. Their actions may have been justified, but I could never forgive them.

    Then there was Brennon. He had been made witness to a horror even I couldn''t stand to watch. He suffered the effects of my poison. He was captured and held prisoner. And yet, he hadn''t wished me dead. Despite his hatred, he was willing to offer me happiness at his own expense, just to protect other people from me. I could never hate him for that. I could only hate myself. He was the hero. I was the villain.

    It was a strange feeling, having my eyes open but not seeing. After a while, I kept them closed. It didn''t make a difference anyway. My only comfort was the deep, pine-laced canine musk I knew to be my guardian. That forest smell meant Cerberus was there. At least from outside forces, I was safe.

    "The inner doors still hold," his voice reassured me after yet another warrior had left. "The advantage of the castle is still ours."

    A sigh was my reply. I was too tired to speak. The outer gate failed some time ago, and I knew the rotted door to the entry hall wouldn''t stand long should Perimone cross the courtyard. I couldn''t bear to think how many lycans had died in the battle so far. They were driving themselves to extinction for a dying girl''s sake.

    Cerberus moved beside me. Something pressed to my lips. "Water," he murmured. "Drink."

    I swallowed. I didn''t think much of it, and my mouth was so dry.

    "Rest," he said, pushing my body back to lie flat on the bed. I relaxed. I knew the claws trailing down my arms wouldn''t hurt me. Paws pressed down into the mattress, bracing themselves as the lycan leaned over me. His wet tongue slid over my face and neck. I didn''t fear the fangs which scraped across my skin as he lapped the drug from my pores. I almost savored the feeling. I appreciated the gentleness from such a strong creature. It tickled at the joining of my neck and jaw, sending little electric shocks to my fingers and toes and giving me the urge to squirm. I could hear the click of his teeth while he licked around my ear. Saliva added a slight weight to my eyelashes and left a crisp film where it dried. I didn''t even mind his horrid dog breath. Once he had thoroughly cleaned my skin, he let out the smallest of whines and rested his head on my chest. It took all my strength, but I lifted my arm, laying a hand on his neck.

    My lips trembled. I knew what he had done.

    I don''t know how long we lay there. At least until the sky turned light again. The sunrise was the first thing I saw with my newfound vision. His breathing gradually became clearer to my ears, as did the softness of his fur. The pain faded from my limbs and the haze lifted from my mind. I could think much clearer than anytime I could remember. How long had I been suffering from my own poison? The colors of this new world were never so clear to me.

    This serenity I felt, the simple melancholy of that one moment, was the greatest gift I ever received.

    The door slammed against the wall. I knew who it was; everything was shockingly clear to me. Cold metal links crashed against us, entangling the limbs of my guardian. He fought against the chain net that wrapped around him, dragging him from me. The lycan lashed out at the soldiers. They responded with their spears, stabbing their blades into his fur until blood dripped down their shafts. He roared and howled in fury, but was helpless to stop the lord as he approached my bedside.

    I felt the fear. I felt the anger at seeing Cerberus hurt. I felt the panic that I would be forced to return to my life as a prisoner. But those emotions were irrelevant. I couldn''t save him or myself if I let them overtake me. This had to end. I knew what I had to do.

    I let Perimone approach. He was almost upon me when I slowly sat up, pulling my legs underneath me. I watched him as he knelt by my bedside.

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    "I came for you."

    "You want to save me." It was a statement, not a question.

    He stood. It appeared as if he aged ten years from the time we first met. The skin around his face had sagged and lost its youthful glow. The bags under his eyes had darkened, speaking of many sleepless nights. It was hard to imagine him as the newly elected leader I sat with in Obria palace. "Yes."

    I let him pick me up and embrace me. I let him press his lips to mine. I allowed the man I despised most to kiss me. I didn''t like the way his hands ran over my shoulders and down my back, but I was familiar enough with the tactic not to let it faze me.

    Perimone pulled back, searching my features with confusion in his eyes. "Something''s wrong," he said. "Something is... missing."

    "You''re right," I said. My fingers closed around the hilt of the dagger hidden at my side. It was the same dagger that killed the leader of Estil, as well as many others. I took a deep breath and stabbed Perimone.

    He stumbled back, pushing me away as he started choking up blood. I strode forward, kicking him to the ground. His eyes were wide with fear and pain as I leaned over him, grasping at my weapon. The blade twisted in his chest.

    "Sorry to break your heart, but I never loved you," I hissed. His body relaxed against the floor, though his eyes remained open and lifeless. I yanked my dagger from his corpse. "And you''re too late to save me."

    The soldiers were too entangled in holding Cerberus to stop me as I ran up to them, stabbing one of their number in the back. The other hardly had time to cry out before I ran my blade across his throat.

    The lycan broke free, throwing off his restraints and snapping one of the soldier''s spears. He roared, quickly taking his vengeance on the remaining three men. They stood no chance against the enraged alpha. They fell like brittle branches to his claws, barely managing to raise their weapons before their necks were snapped. In less than a minute, there were none to oppose him.

    We stood, panting and surrounded by fallen enemies. Our gazes locked together. There was something in his crimson stare, not regret, but sorrow. He knew what he had given up. I felt his pain, the price he paid to save my life.

    "Why did you do it?"

    He huffed as though the question were foolish. "I didn''t want you to die."

    I hesitated a moment before whispering, "Thank you."

    The lycan didn''t respond, instead looking through the window. His ears flicked forward, listening to the battle outside, then back, flattening against his head. It was oddly quiet. He turned, dropping on all fours and trotting to my side. "We must leave. Now."

    "What about the others?" I questioned as I snatched my mask from the bedside table and clamored onto his back. My fingers were finally able to get a firm grip on his fur.

    "There is nothing we can do for them now..."

    I was silent. His words struck me like a knife. But even the knowledge of his meaning couldn''t prepare me for the sight as he leapt down the stairs and into the hallway.

    The bodies of fallen lycans filled my hall, mixed with those of the men who had fought them. There were so many there was no clear path one could take without stepping on them. The hearths had gone cold, the few logs left were soaked with blood rather than fire. The doors were open, revealing even more in the entryway, and more beyond that in the courtyard.

    There were far more than a hundred. Lycans from all over the mountain range must have responded to the call to protect the castle. Even those I never touched had fought for me. Now they lay cold as the stone they rested on, fur matted with their own blood. There weren''t even any injured; every one had struggled on until their last breath.

    At the end, sitting on the platform for the king, was my throne from Estil. It stood spattered with blood, but still upright. The symbolism sickened me.

    "Bring me to my throne," I murmured to Cerberus. The lycan nodded, hopping onto the platform and pacing to the chair. He stopped beside it. My hand pushed on its back until it fell. The sound it made as it collided with the stone echoed through the hallway.

    "We have all fallen today," I spoke softly, hanging my mask on one of the upturned legs.

    Cerberus took that as his cue to leave. He bounded through the hall and out into the sunlight. For once, it wasn''t raining. There weren''t even any clouds in the sky. But I didn''t dare look at the scenery. I didn''t want to see how many others died for me. So I kept my face buried in the fur of Cerberus''s neck while the sun''s heat warmed my back. He turned, climbing up the mountain with powerful strides.

    I would find some way to repay them. Someday, any way I could.

    I only opened my eyes once we reached the summit. Everything seemed so small from the mountaintop, the castle, the remaining army, Askance. I could see Estil and Merrer, as well as the other villages I had conquered. I could even see the outer wall of Obria.

    "Where does my lady want to go now?"

    Where indeed? I couldn''t stay in Askance, nor did the Lycan Mountains have much to offer anymore. Not without the lycans.

    "Maybe Preene will hold new opportunities for us. How does that sound, Alpha?"

    "As my lady wishes."

 Lethal Desire Ch 19: Mountains

    There isn''t much emotion on the top of a mountain. One would think it would be a place to be overcome with emotions. Yet, everything is so far away from a mountain''s peak that, standing there, all other life was small by comparison and covered in mist. Not even trees dared grow this high. The life I left behind was a mere spot in the distance.

    Metal poles rose above the trees, supporting thick wires dotted with metal chairs. They were rather common in the mountains, though I hadn¡¯t seen them anywhere else. The remnants of small old world buildings were always at the top and bottom.

    Wind whipped over ragged rocks around me. I shivered. These past few weeks hadn''t been kind to the leather clothing that once kept me warm. I turned, stepping behind a boulder. Back there was an entirely different world, one I could never return to. That knowledge should have elated me. It had been a grim, tough existence. But, every time I thought of it, I could only feel a weight in my heart. I left behind misery, yet also sacrificed much more than was mine to give.

    The soft sound of padded footsteps brought my attention to the present. My senses had gotten sharper, honed to the forest''s smells and sounds. The scent of fresh blood settled in the moist air. Steam rose from the wounds of the boar. Red dripped from the jaws of the giant white canine who held it. The color matched the crimson of his irises.

    "Cerberus," I greeted.

    The lycan dropped the boar from his maw. "You''re cold."

    I smiled. Of course he would notice that. "Yeah."

    He snorted, shaking himself. Drops of rain from the morning shower flew from his coat. Somehow, no matter the storm, water never seemed to fully penetrate his thick pelt. I envied that. "You should¡¯ve built a fire."

    I looked around. All the wood nearby was wet, not that the wind would allow a flame to survive long. There would be more sheltered branches in the thickets, but fuel wasn''t the reason I chose to brave the cold. "It could attract unwanted attention."

    "Human attention."

    "Yeah..."

    We hadn''t seen another lycan since we left my castle. Nor a human for that matter, but they rarely ventured into the Lycan Mountains, which isolated Askance from its larger neighbor, Preene. I didn''t mind the loss of human contact, yet, the mountains were lonely without the predators they were named after.

    It was very likely I would never see a lycan besides Cerberus again. My promise to their kind would go unfulfilled. The weight of that settled on me like stones in my stomach.

    Our eyes met. Cerberus''s irises were vibrant, with a primal intensity lingering in his gaze. It was as if there was a message there, something he was trying to tell me, but couldn''t quite put into words. Perhaps there were no words to describe it. At least, I hadn¡¯t found them yet.

    It was a moment before he spoke. "Let''s find shelter for the night."

    I nodded and stood. He knelt down, once again grabbing the boar in his jaws. He stayed in the position as I approached, though I strode past him.

    "I can walk, you''ve carried me far enough."

    The lycan huffed. He straightened and trotted after me.

    ***

    Two months ago I wouldn''t have dared imagine this. The proud alpha wouldn''t have laid in such a submissive position. I wouldn''t have allowed such extended contact. Yet, for all my past regrets, I was at least grateful for this. Although no gain could possibly compare with what was lost, the simple peace I had while my bare fingers buried themselves in the thick fur of Cerberus''s neck was more than I ever hoped for.

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    My greatest regret was not realizing what I had before I lost it. I wouldn''t make the same mistake again.

    The lycan''s shoulders were thrice the width of my lap. His head was the length of my torso. Despite his rugged, fierce appearance, Cerberus''s fur was as soft as the rabbits he brought me. His claws alone were the length of my fingers, yet his paw-like hands rested on his chest in the most unthreatening of ways. Sometimes his mannerisms reminded me so much of a human, I could almost forget he was completely canine.

    My fingers combed through the fur of his face before burrowing behind his ears. My nails lightly scraped over his skin. A small smirk tugged at my mouth as I watched his leg begin to twitch.

    I scratched harder, whispering in his ear. "Don''t fight it."

    His foot kicked out, knocking over my pile of tinder into the fire and sending sparks flying into the air. I burst into laughter. Cerberus flipped over, sitting bolt upright.

    "Quiet!" he barked.

    I fell silent, watching as crimson eyes scanned the surrounding forest. His body, just relaxed, now had every muscle tensed. He focused on the path we took to our rocky shelter. His hackles raised as he slowly moved to crouch over me, eyes not leaving whatever they saw. My gaze followed him to a squarish shape in the distance.

    The dark blotch moved in a slow, lumbering gait. A deep snarl rose from Cerberus''s throat. The creature stopped, pausing before standing on its hind legs. Its answering call was unmistakable.

    "A bear..." I whispered.

    Cerberus didn''t grace me with an answer, only a growl. His long tongue licked over exposed teeth.

    The bear dropped back down. It chuffed. The lycan answered in kind.

    The bear charged.

    I cried out as I was pulled back, shoved farther under the lycan as he leaned over me. His snarling bark echoed in my ears. My finger twisted in the fur of his waist, ready for the grizzly to attack.

    Cerberus lowered his voice to a low growl. I chanced looking back. The bear had stopped. It was sniffing something on the ground, seemingly uninterested in us. Red stained its chestnut snout as it grabbed the remains of the boar in its mouth. It turned, loping off with our discarded meal without so much as a backward glance.

    Even after it left, Cerberus held me still, watching where it disappeared. My heart pounded as I tried to regain my breath. Only once several minutes passed did he let me out from between his knees. I stood, walking over to our fire, which had nearly been smothered by the damp tinder.

    "That was... unexpected..."

    "Yes," Cerberus huffed, "I''m glad it didn¡¯t attack..."

    I used a stick to rearrange the fire''s branches while the lycan settled in a pile of soft brush I gathered. The leaves crackled under his weight. I waited until my heartbeat slowed before I joined him.

    "It must have been attracted by the scent of meat," I said, snuggling into his chest as he draped a heavy arm over my side. Although the heat of the fire had faded from his belly, his fur was still pleasantly warm from his own body heat.

    "Or your clothes," he replied. I glanced up. "The leather holds the stench of blood. We will replace them."

    I grumbled. "I don''t really need them. It''s just you and me."

    "You''ll freeze to death," he growled. "I won¡¯t allow that." His claws dug into my back when I didn''t answer.

    "Fine, Alpha," I mumbled. I knew what replacing the clothes would mean.

    Cerberus eased his grip. "We will find a settlement in Preene to wait out the winter tomorrow."

    "Right." I shifted, rolling over so my back was to him. The knot in my stomach tightened. It had been over a month since I saw another human, but still, it was too soon. I knew he would drag me into town by my collar if he put his mind to it. Yet, I would rather face the bear again than see another of my own kind.

    "Cerberus?" The shift of his fur told me he was listening. "What if something else comes while you are away?"

    He snorted. "Nothing will come. My scent will protect you."

    "And, what if... someone comes?"

    He paused before answering. "My scent will protect you."

    I nodded. I wanted to believe it, but I knew humans much better than he did. If only his scent would keep them away.

 Chapter 20: Cyrus

    It''s warmer on the north side of the Lycan Mountains. Not much, but enough to be noticeable. Then again, perhaps I only thought it was warmer compared to the alpine climate we had traveled in for the past few weeks.

    I sat in the thickets by a small stream, watching fish make their way toward the pond we passed earlier. It must be so easy, having one path to follow, going only forward or back depending on the season. They had a purpose, a place to be and a reason for being there. So unlike me, who had a hundred choices and no reason to choose any of them. My decision to go to Preene had been random, spur of the moment and honestly, I was beginning to wonder if it was the right one.

    The forest was quiet. Not silent, the babbling brook and chattering chipmunks made sure of that. But there was peace in the woodlands, a genuine serenity to the mist. My life had been a battlefield for so long, the simplicity of just surviving in this place, it was... nice. Relaxing. A relief even. I was hesitant to return to human society.

    There was a snort behind me. My eyes widened before I turned around. Standing not more than a dozen yards away was a man on horseback. He glanced to where his horse was eyeing, reins in one hand, a fishing pole in the other. His horse pawed at the path. Most likely he was on his way up to the pond, too.

    "Hey, you there! Girl! You okay?"

    It had been over a month, closer to two, since I heard a human voice. The sound wasn''t at all comforting.

    "You alright?" He urged his sorrel horse a few paces closer. "You look... pretty rough."

    "I''m fine," I said through clenched teeth, at last finding my voice. "Just wandering a bit."

    "Through pricker bushes?" He let out a small laugh, approaching closer. I stood up. My heart pounded with anticipation. Should I run? Would he chase me?

    A thunderous roar was our only warning before a giant white form burst through the underbrush. The man''s horse reared, striking out. I was surprised he managed to keep it from bolting. Fur pressed to my back as the beast rose up on his hind feet, leaning over me and letting out a menacing snarl.

    He didn''t run. Any sane person would have turned and galloped away as fast as his horse could carry him. But he didn''t run. He looked upon my hellish guardian with a kind of awe.

    "He''s enormous... I''ve never seen one so large..." The man''s gaze switched to mine. No one should be able to look away from the haunting stare of the lycan standing over me, save to flee. "Are you his trainer?"

    I blinked. That was the single oddest question I had ever been asked. I hesitated before answering, "Uh, yes?"

    The insane man nodded, looking over the lycan like he was a piece of art. "Impressive."

    My guard dropped down on all fours. We exchanged a glance. His eyes seemed to contain the same curiosity as mine, which I voiced. "Excuse me, but who are you?"

    The man laughed as if he were not just threatened by the most vicious predator I knew. He swung off his horse, marching over to us. Ignoring the growl, he offered his hand. "So sorry, miss. I am Cyrus Khale."

    "Cyrus Khale..." I repeated, reluctantly taking his hand. I tried my best to hide my flinch at the feeling of skin contact. I may be cured of my poison, but years of habit didn''t die easily. "They call me Desire."

    The man raised a dark eyebrow. Black bangs danced over stormy blue eyes. "Just Desire?"

    "Just Desire," I said firmly, drawing another laugh from him. "And this is... Blood Eye."

    "Blood Eye?" Cyrus considered my lycan companion. "Suits him. But you seemed a little hesitant about that." He chuckled. He certainly was a jolly man.

    I pursed my lips. "Well, Blood Eye is his name. I just usually call him Cerberus."

    "Now that''s an excellent show name if I ever heard one!" He grinned, waving his hand in a great arc. "I can see it, Cerberus: Hellhound from the Underworld!"

    I looked down to Cerberus again. He was just as confused as I was. "Show name?"

    "Yeah. If I was your manager, I''d register him as Cerberus, not Blood Eye. Hey, where¡¯s your manager, anyway?" Cyrus glanced around, then cast a wary eye to Cerberus. "He didn''t eat him, did he?"

    "Um, no..." I supposed it would be best if I just came out and asked him, "Why would I need a manager?"

    The man furrowed his brows. "To manage your affairs? Registry? Where you stay?" He frowned. "Though clearly, you haven''t been staying anywhere civilized for a while... Just where are you from?"

    "Askance."

    He seemed surprised by that. It was the first logical response he had shown; people rarely crossed from Askance to Preene, the lycans of the mountains had made it near impossible. "Whoa, and you don''t have managers there? Who enters you in fights?"

    "What fights?"

    If it were possible, he looked even more astonished. His jaw actually dropped, which would have been comical if I were not so confused by everything he said. "Don''t you have fights over there?"

    I had no idea what he was talking about, so I assumed not. "No..."

    "Wait, wait, wait." He held up his hands as if to stop me, though I was neither moving nor speaking. "You mean you''ve never fought this monster before?"

    I frowned. I didn''t appreciate him calling my companion a ''monster'', but decided to ignore that. At this point, I just wanted to know what he was talking about. "No."

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    A grin so large it split his face spread over the man''s features. He looked as if he had been awarded several solid gold bars. "No way. I''ve been looking for someone like you for years!"

    I lifted an eyebrow. For someone that didn''t appear all that much older than me, ''years'' could represent a significant portion of his life.

    "Listen," he said, as if I were not already doing so intently. "I''m actually from the capital. I trained to be a manager there. But I couldn''t find any worthwhile clients, so I moved to these outer cities. But, seeing as a trainer generally sticks with their manager for years, I''ve been kind of picky. But if you agree, I bet with that big beast of yours we could make a fortune! All you have to do is let me!"

    This time, I stared into Cerberus''s eyes much longer. I hoped he would offer some words of advice, an order, anything. He should be making these decisions. He was alpha, after all. But he just stared at me, silently waiting for my next move. He was letting me make the choice, though I didn''t want to.

    My initial instinct was to be wary of this man. The last one I trusted betrayed me. So had every human I had ever known. But that was Askance, this was Preene. This was a culture I had no idea how to fit into. There was no poison holding me back here, and I needed a guide who knew the area.

    "Okay." The word came out with confidence, as if I knew what I was doing. I tried to justify it, to tell myself Cerberus would be beside me, and I always had my dagger strapped to my side. Still, I couldn''t help but wonder if I had been flustered into swimming into a fisherman''s net.

    "Great!" the man cheered. He grabbed his horse''s mane, swinging up into his saddle. "I won''t let you down! Just one thing..."

    I frowned. A catch was never good. "What''s that?"

    Cyrus laughed. "Don''t let that lycan of yours eat my horse, okay?"

    I let out a small sigh. "Yeah, sure. We already ate earlier."

    "Great! Now, are you going to walk him, or ride with me or...?"

    I waved my hand. Cerberus was already bowing down. I grabbed his fur, vaulting onto his back with a practiced ease. When I looked up, Cyrus''s jaw had dropped again.

    "That''s amazing! I''ve never seen anyone ride a lycan before! You''re going straight to the top, you know. You''re going to be a star!"

    ***

    We rode for a while in silence. At least Cerberus and I did. I was beginning to wonder if Cyrus knew how to be quiet. Regardless, I didn''t mind. At least he was spouting useful information. So far I understood that, in Preene, there were captive lycans. The lycans were made to fight for entertainment by trainers, and the trainers usually had their managers handle their affairs other than keeping their lycans from killing people. It was quite the lucrative business, provided the trainer had a good lycan and managed not to be killed and eaten. This was the perfect opportunity for me to enter Preene with Cerberus by my side without drawing unwanted attention.

    "And-" Cyrus paused in the middle of his rant on how the arenas worked. He glanced over to the lycan. "Hey, is he albino?"

    "Hmm?" It took me a moment to realize he wanted an answer. "Uh, yeah." If it wasn''t obvious with Cerberus''s snow white fur, his pale nose and crimson stare should have been a giveaway. "What about it?"

    The man studied us from atop his horse for a moment before answering. "I thought albinos were supposed to be the runts of the litter."

    "Yeah, well, Cerberus overcame the odds," I said. He fought for his role as alpha and had given it away for me. I once again became aware of the weight in my stomach. I took his pack from him. I looked up, trying to find something to distract myself from my thoughts. "Is that the city ahead?"

    Cyrus followed my gaze. "Yeah, Treef. It''s small, but they have an arena."

    "Good." I leaned forward. Cerberus caught my intention and took off, bounding toward the city.

    "Wait! Wait!" Cyrus kicked his horse, galloping after us. He caught up to us just as we reached the city wall, cutting us off as we turned toward the nearest gate. His eyes were wide. "Whoa! They won''t let you in the city without a muzzle on him. No way!"

    "A muzzle?" I asked, confused at first. Then I realized what he meant. "No! That''s insulting! I would never dream of treating Cerberus in such a way!"

    The man stared at me, finally at a loss for words. But his silence didn''t settle me.

    "How could you treat a lycan like a... like some vicious dog? I can''t believe you''d-"

    A soft touch on my knee brought my attention to my mount. Almost imperceptibly, Cerberus gave a slight nod.

    It was a moment before I spoke again. "I... Fine. But we don''t have one."

    Cyrus paused, studying my expression. After a short consideration, he said, "I''ll go into town first and get you one. I think there''s an event today too. I''ll register Cerberus and we can stay at a fancy hotel tonight."

    "Fine, whatever," I huffed. I swung off Cerberus and fell against the wall, arms crossed. "Tell me, what do the other lycans say about having to be muzzled?"

    The man laughed, urging his horse in the direction of the gate. "I imagine they would have a few choice words if they could talk." He trotted to the city entrance. Cerberus and I looked at each other.

    If they could talk?

    ***

    It was a while before Cyrus came back. Cerberus immediately sat upright the moment he emerged from the gate. Apparently, he didn''t want the man to see how much he enjoyed the back of his head being scratched.

    "I got the biggest one I could find," Cyrus said once he reached us. He hopped down, holding out a simple leather muzzle. "But I think it might be too small... There aren''t really any lycans as large as him around."

    "Whatever, we''ll make it work." I secretly hoped it didn''t work. But I also didn''t want to draw too much attention, never mind negative attention.

    "I also got you some new clothes," Cyrus added. He handed me a neatly folded pile of fabric.

    I unzipped my jacket, discarding it before grabbing the hem of my shirt.

    "Whoa, whoa! At least warn me first!" Cyrus said, turning his back to me and holding the clothes out behind him.

    I smirked as I hooked my thumbs on the waist of my leather leggings and pulled them off. "What? Don''t you want to see this?"

    "I-uh, well, it''s not that I wouldn''t like to..." he stuttered.

    Cerberus snarled.

    "I''m just trying to be a gentleman," Cyrus hurriedly finished. I finished undressing and grabbed the offered clothes, handing him the tattered remains of my suit. "So, what happened to these? This looks like claw marks..."

    "Hmm? On the leggings?" I inspected the dull green of the shirt before slipping it on. "Probably is. Might also be from when I fell in the river."

    "A river? In the mountains?! The water''s freezing!"

    I fastened the buttons of the shirt he gave me. "Oh, it was..." I tapped Cyrus''s shoulder. He turned around.

    "You look good!" He grinned.

    I gave him a short smile before turning to Cerberus. Cyrus handed me the muzzle. I flinched at the brief skin contact. I was no longer poisonous, I reminded myself, it meant nothing.

    I slipped the muzzle on Cerberus''s face. It was clearly too small and took some work simply to get in place. The leather stretched tight around his nose. He couldn''t open his mouth.

    I turned away before I was tempted to rip it off. "Let''s go," I huffed. "I''m eager to see this Treef."

 Chapter 21: Preene

    It felt wrong. The busy streets and bustling shops overwhelmed my senses. The people were too loud. They moved too much; I didn''t know where to look. A bakery was nearby. The scent of fresh bread and sweets rose above the stench of sweat and perfume that accompanied the crowd. It felt too unnatural compared with the fresh air of the forests.

    Yet, by far, the most disconcerting was the leash I held, connected to the muzzle with a thick clip. Cerberus may be canine, but he wasn''t a dog. He was a wild lycan, as sentient as any human, and by pack standards my alpha. Leading him through town like an oversized mutt felt insulting. Clamping his mouth shut was degrading.

    I knew the feeling. I wished it upon many people, but not Cerberus. Never my loyal guardian.

    They stared and cleared a path. People always did for Cerberus. Supposedly, this was normal here, expected, even required. This was nothing compared to the horrors I unleashed on the villages of Askance. So why did it feel like these people were witnessing the worst crime I could commit?

    "Don''t allow yourselves to be led like sheep! The fights are government manipulation! Attending condones cruelty!"

    My arm was abruptly grabbed, steering me away from the scraggly man standing on the street corner. "Ignore him," Cyrus murmured in my ear. I flinched away, avoiding any possible contact. He made no indication he noticed the movement. "Just a lowlife that crawled aboveground, trying to get attention by spouting conspiracies." He met my gaze with the most serious expression I had seen on him thus far. "Avoid them. They sometimes attack trainers."

    I blinked. "Okay..." I said, more than a little startled by his sudden mood shift.

    The man''s features relaxed. "Good." He pointed towards a building not far from us. "See there? That''s the arena."

    I tugged on Cerberus¡¯s chain, drawing his attention from the street-corner man.

    The arena was a massive log structure with an open top. Much like the outer villages of Askance, Treef was close enough to the mountains to share their weather, namely rain. I hardly noticed the muddy streets until we stepped into the wood flooring of the entryway. Cerberus left giant paw prints in his wake. I glanced down and frowned.

    "I''ll get you registered. Wait here," Cyrus instructed. I nodded, not bothering to look up. Cerberus followed my gaze, leaning over to sniff at the wooden planks.

    Most of the dirt tracked in was rubbed in unrecognizable smudge marks. However, a fresh set of prints still held their shape. A particularly defined paw caught my eye. I knelt, placing my fingers over the pads. Although the print was clearly lycan, the palm was no bigger than mine.

    Were they fighting cubs?

    "Everything is all set," Cyrus called out as he jogged back to us. "Unfortunately, the clerk was difficult. Because of his coloring, she only let me enter him in the amateur and small class." He stopped by my side. "What are you looking at?"

    "Nothing," I said, standing. "Now what?"

    Cyrus grinned. "They fight the females first, but in a city this small, they have enough stalls for the males in the class too. I''ll show you where to put him."

    ***

    The arena was louder than the streets. Maybe in the forests I had become accustomed to the quiet, but there was no denying the cheering was by no means soft. I hurriedly climbed the stairs, eager to stay by Cyrus now that I no longer had Cerberus beside me. I may have known him for only a matter of hours, but it was best to be in the presence of someone who had a vested interest in my well being. I learned that a long time ago.

    The key to control was having what the other most desired. Cyrus wanted a worthy lycan trainer. Surely he could do no better than the Lady of the Lycan Mountains herself.

    Not that he could ever know that.

    My newfound manager led me to the upper rows of the stadium. I had to jog up the stairs to keep pace with his long strides. By the time I sat down beside him, my skin had made contact with at least three people. I reminded myself it didn''t matter.

    "This is great," Cyrus said, sporting his widest grin yet. "Really, I''ve been dreaming of this since I was a kid. Just wait till we get to the capital! And it''s all thanks to you."

    I flinched back, just barely avoiding his casual touch to my arm. He frowned, but said nothing. A trumpet sounded somewhere to my left. I nearly jumped from my seat. Cyrus laughed.

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    "It''s just the call for the first fight to start. You''re certainly skittish. What''s the matter? You were quite confident just outside the gates."

    I sighed. In truth, I had simply been gauging his level of interest. Such could be useful later on. "I''m just used to the quiet of the mountains, that''s all. I''ll be fine." It seemed I would have to fake confidence again, something I was unfortunately too familiar with. It was only for the winter. I would leave in the spring and go find somewhere else away from people.

    That was until the stalls that kept the lycans separate opened and I lay eyes on the first females I had seen since leaving the castle.

    I couldn''t even gasp. They stood no taller than me but didn''t possess the roundish faces of cubs. Even from afar, I could tell they were adults. Yet, far more shocking than their stature was their build. Their long, lean limbs resembled a human''s more than the muscular structure the canines usually possessed. My throat clenched as my heart sank into my stomach. These were not simply small lycans; malnutrition had stunted their growth.

    "Are they... all like this?" I hissed through clenched teeth, trying not to let too much emotion show through. I failed.

    Cyrus didn''t seem to notice. "Besides being a little on the small side, yeah. This is a nice pair of girls. Why? Are they different in Askance?"

    "Yeah," I sighed. "A lot different."

    The skeletons of females charged, colliding with vicious intensity. Yet, for all their ferocity as they swatted and nipped at one another, they didn''t make a sound. I couldn''t hear the whisper of a snarl.

    "Why are they so quiet?"

    "What do you mean?"

    I frowned. "Why aren''t they growling?" I had seen many fights in the mountains, not one of them was a quiet affair.

    "What are you talking about? Their vocal cords are cut so they can''t call their wild cousins."

    My gut twisted into a knot. I quit breathing entirely for several seconds, afraid if I did, I might vomit. He said it so casually; I knew he believed it to be true. But I also knew calling wasn''t the reason they cut out these lycans¡¯ voices. They cut them so they couldn''t speak. They cut them so they could continue their entertainment, pretending they were nothing but mindless beasts.

    It didn''t take long for one female to end up on her back, tail between her legs in surrender. Clapping came from the spectators. Trainers appeared from metal doors on either side of the arena, many tailed whips in their hands. They chased the lycans back to their stalls. It didn''t escape my notice the losing female jumped away from her trainer''s whip as though it hurt much more than it should. Nor the fact she was continually beaten, even after she retreated to her stall.

    It was difficult to witness the next few fights, to pretend I was interested in watching skinny weaklings silently fight to avoid the harsh beating the loser received. Over and over, I saw the same pattern, the males little different from the females. They were released, fought, then beaten. Something was strange about those many tailed whips. They seemed to inflict much more pain than a normal whip was capable of.

    Then it was Cerberus''s turn.

    It wasn''t a fair fight. From the moment the lycans stepped into the arena, it was clear who was the stronger. Cerberus was giant; eight feet of thick, toned muscle. His fur shone even in the clouded light. His opponent stood the height of a man, malnutritioned, and fur as dull as his eyes.

    Lycans fought in the wild. They gladly sparred one another for every meal. Pack order was constantly shifting day to day, especially amongst the younger members. Fighting was natural, something they even enjoyed.

    But this was nothing like their harmless sparring.

    Cerberus stood, paw-like hands splaying out as he let out a challenging roar. There was an audible gasp from the arena''s stands.

    "I''ve been meaning to ask you," Cyrus murmured. "Why aren''t his cords cut? Aren''t you afraid he''ll start calling?"

    I clenched my jaw as I watched the smaller lycan cower under Cerberus''s crimson glare. "No, I''m not."

    The poor canine was trembling. Somewhere on the opposite side of the stands, someone was screaming orders. I assumed it was the trainer, as the lycan glanced back before hesitantly taking a step forward. No sooner had he entered Cerberus''s range than he was thrown across the arena, tossed as easily as a doll.

    The audience cheered as he hit the pit wall. Cyrus was among them. I knew the lycans could be cruel. They were all too eager to terrorize the villages of my territory. It wasn''t Cerberus''s sweet disposition that earned his place as alpha.

    But that didn''t matter, not to me. I spent years living among them. They took me in when my kind left me to die. I had worn a mask to imitate their faces. The lycans were my own, more so than humans had ever been.

    The other lycan curled back, cowering as Cerberus approached. His tail tucked between his legs as his head dipped low. The albino gave a short chuff. His opponent flipped over, laying on his back.

    The crowd laughed. I could hear the trainer shrieking at their lycan from across the arena as I got up, walking down to the entrance to the lower levels. They sounded like a woman. I caught a few words about her humiliation before I entered the cement cellar and opened the first metal door, which Cyrus told me led to the arena pit.

    Damp sand seeped through the cracks in the soles of my boots as I stepped into the pit. The air was chilled by the cement walls. I only got several steps inside when the door opposite mine opened and a woman trotted in. She stopped a few yards from the lycans, glaring at me and giving a short nod in Cerberus''s direction, who still had the other lycan pinned under his glare.

    "Cerberus!" I called. The albino glanced my way. I pointed to his open stall. "Back in."

    He dropped on all fours, bounding back to his cage. I heard the impressed applause, but I ignored them. It was far harder to ignore the other trainer''s screeching and the strange crackling her whip made. Even harder were the cries of the lycan, rendered silent by their ignorance. But I didn''t turn around. I couldn''t bear to watch, not when I had an excuse to look away.

    I hated Preene, even more than I hated Askance.

 Chapter 22: Trainer

    I was somewhere between dizzy and numb by the time the fights were over. I sat down next to Cerberus in the arena entryway. Cyrus left us, gone to collect our winnings from the clerk. He hadn''t shut up since my lycan''s final fight, but I hadn''t listened to a word of it.

    My fingers tangled in Cerberus''s fur, working around the too tight muzzle I had been forced to put back on. I wanted to talk to him, but there were too many people present. They pointed and whispered as they filed out of the arena. It didn''t matter to me what they thought, though, I hated the lot of them. They paid for this sick circus. They were just as guilty as the trainers.

    If they knew how human-like the lycans could be, would they still condone the fights?

    "Hey! You!"

    I looked up. A group of four marched through the crowd trailed by a light hazel lycan on a long chain. I recognized him as the second-place winner in Cerberus''s class. He was also the largest of Cerberus''s competitors, though he was a good two feet shorter than the albino. I didn''t get long to examine him; the man holding his leash was far too loud.

    "Yeah, you with the albino. I got a bone to pick with you."

    From the corner of my eye, I saw Cerberus''s lip curl back in his muzzle. It was clear this man was going to be hostile. I tried to decide if the woman to his right was his wife or manager. Her stern expression could suit either.

    "Whoa, whoa!" Cyrus pushed his way through the crowd, a small jingling purse in one hand, a stack of papers in the other. He finally broke through, stumbling into the clearing the lycan¡¯s presence created. "What seems to be the problem here?"

    The man, whom I assumed to be the trainer, looked over Cyrus before turning on him. "The problem is, that prize money should be in my manager''s hand, not yours."

    Cyrus let out a small laugh, though I caught the slight flash in his eyes. He dropped the hand carrying the money to his side, casual, but also almost defensively. He thought these people were a threat. "Well, then maybe you should get a stronger lycan. I clearly remember him surrendering to my client''s."

    "Maybe your client should get a smaller lycan," the woman snapped, "if she wants to compete in the small class." She produced a thin book from somewhere within her voluminous winter skirt, flipping it open and holding it out for us to see. It seemed she was his manager. "The rules state no lycan over six-four is to be entered in the small competition. Yours is clearly over that."

    "But in a small town like this, small is also the amateur classes," Cyrus argued. His tone was good natured, but firm. "So technically my client''s lycan is allowed, since he has never fought before."

    "I find that hard to believe."

    He sighed. "Listen, don''t you think I wanted to enter him in the large classes? But I couldn''t because of his coloring and he has no records. If you have a problem with that, talk to the clerk that assigned us."

    "I''ve had enough of your excuses," the trainer hissed. He pulled out one of the strange whips I had seen used in the arena and turned to me. "Tell your manager to hand the prize to the proper winner."

    Cerberus stood up, towering over the other trainer from behind me. I glanced back, finding courage in the confidence of his gaze. It was already clear Cerberus would make me a well-known trainer. I couldn''t afford to be known as meek as well.

    "Cyrus, give the money to me. I earned it."

    Cyrus shot me a conspiratorial grin and tossed the purse across the short distance between us. I caught it in one hand before slipping it into one of the many pockets of my pants. A small smile crossed my features as I turned back to the trainer. "Anything else you want?"

    His short beard was bristling with barely contained fury. I could see the blood rushing to his face. "You must think you''re really something, don''t you?" he spit out. "Just because your cheap albino turned out to be a docile giant."

    Cerberus stepped in front of me, letting out a menacing snarl that was somewhat muffled by the muzzle. The woman manager paled and backed away. The trainer, however, stood his ground despite the visible shiver that ran through him. He shifted his grip on the strange whip, which I could now see was made of metal wire. It made a loud crack as he raised it up. Cerberus lunged.

    A second crack, louder than the first, echoed through the hall as the wires wove their way into Cerberus''s fur. The lycan let out a muffled yelp as he was thrown back. I felt a current cut through the air, causing my hair to stand on end.

    Electric. Preene had electric whips. They had harnessed the power of lightning, a feat that hadn''t been seen since the old world. And they were using it on the lycans.

    No sooner had his feet touched the ground than Cerberus lunged again, this time reaching the trainer before he had the chance to raise his whip. The others in his party leapt back to avoid the falling pair. The snarling lycan pinned the man down. He threw his head up, forcing his jaws open as he let out a roar and snapping the stretched leather of his muzzle. His long teeth glistened in the dull light before sinking into the trainer''s arm.

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    "Stop him!" Cyrus cried. "Desire, stop him! He''ll be put to death if he kills him!"

    A jolt ran through me. "Cerberus, stop!" I barked. "That''s enough!"

    The albino froze, eyes switching back to mine, though his teeth remained firmly embedded in the man''s arm. I gave a slight nod. The lycan released the trainer with a low growl. He looked around, then lunged to the side. Powerful jaws clamped down on the electric whip, breaking it in two.

    Everyone in the entryway had stopped, watching us. I spotted the heads of two spears weaving their way through the crowd from the arena. Officials, no doubt. I turned, grabbing Cyrus by the sleeve and marching down the path people cleared for us.

    "That was quite impressive! Really, I didn''t think you could-"

    "Let''s leave," I hissed as I dragged him through the open doorway. "Cerberus, come!" I didn''t need to look back. I could hear the lycan bounding after us.

    ***

    "I''ve been wanting to stay at this inn since I came here. Would have only been able to afford the first night, then I would¡¯ve been out of luck..." Cyrus grinned. "I made that mistake when I first started traveling, and it was quite a bit warmer then-"

    I hardly heard him. My mind was still on the electric whips and the strangely small lycans. I didn''t acknowledge him going in the log inn to make our arrangements. It was only when we entered the stable where lycans were to be kept that my attention was drawn to my surroundings.

    On the outside, the stable was a windowless, one-story version of the inn. Yet as soon as we stepped inside, I realized the ground level was simply a room of lockers and storage lit by glowing balls on the ceiling. Electric bulbs, if I remembered my old world books. Cyrus led us down a ramp which brought us to the lower level.

    The basement was made entirely of cement, not unlike the lower levels of the arena. The large room held a cool moisture in the air, so much so that condensation gathered on the thick chains hanging on the back wall. It was clear the chains were meant to attach to a collar or muzzle. There were no other lycans currently there, but their canine musk still lingered in the air along with the faint yet still sharp scent of urine.

    A shiver ran through me. I recognized this place. Not this particular one, but I knew of many places like it in Askance.

    "No, I''m not keeping him here."

    There was a light bump on my thigh. I ignored it.

    "What?" Cyrus snorted. "This is a perfectly nice stable. Cerberus will have it all to himself."

    "It''s a prison," I hissed. "Cerberus isn''t a prisoner."

    Another bump. I shook my head. I wouldn''t do it. I couldn''t do that to him.

    "Listen, where else are you going to keep him? Outside? They won''t let him in."

    "Why not?"

    "Because it''s not allowed," Cyrus cried. "Are you really proposing to let a lycan loose? Half a dozen people will be dead by morning, if not more."

    "I don''t care!" I snapped, dropping the leash and spinning around. "I put the stupid muzzle on him! I''m not keeping him in this cell!"

    I was nearly knocked over by the force of his third bump. I glared at Cerberus. Even on all fours, his head was at shoulder level. His crimson stare bore into me. The lycan turned, trotting to the middle chain before sitting down. Almost imperceptibly, he gave a slight nod.

    I sighed, closing my eyes. He had no idea what he was agreeing to.

    Cyrus''s jaw had dropped again. I couldn''t help but let a small smile creep onto my face. I had known him less than a day, and already I decided he was by far the most animated person I had ever met. However, it quickly disappeared as I walked to Cerberus, reluctantly reworking his makeshift rope muzzle into a collar. The chain weighed heavy in my hands as I clipped it on a strand of rope. He could easily break it, but he wouldn''t.

    "Leave us, I''m going to... do some training." The last part I said as nearly a whisper. It wasn''t very convincing. When had I become such a terrible actor?

    I listened to his steps as he trotted back up the ramp. I waited several heartbeats after the door clicked shut. It was only after I was certain he had left that I finally let go, falling to my knees. Cerberus tilted his head, watching me take in heaving breaths.

    "I''m so sorry..."

    He examined me a moment longer before speaking. "Were you pleased, my lady?"

    I clenched my teeth. "Of course not! How could I be? It''s so terrible and horrible and cruel and I know I have no place to speak but how could they-" I paused. He was still staring at me. The red glint of his eyes told me he wasn''t talking about Preene. "Oh..." I took a deep breath. "Yes, of course. You fought well today. Just... I''m sorry... for making you do this."

    He huffed. "I don''t mind. Fighting is little more than disciplining cubs." I nodded. Soft fur pressed to my forehead. The whiskers above his eyes tickled at my brows. "I don''t mind, but if you want, I could run to the next nation before the first snowfall. We don''t need to stay. We could leave tonight."

    I squeezed my eyes shut, grinding my teeth together. His offer was tempting, but I shook my head. "No... We need to stay here. I made a promise to your kind. Now I think I know how to keep it."

    Cerberus was silent. And then, "As my lady wishes."

    ***

    That night, I lay in the most comfortable bed I had in months. Yet I couldn''t sleep, the sharp stones in my stomach wouldn''t let me. I had done many things I acknowledged were nigh unspeakable. I had wiped out entire villages for my selfish desires, for a fleeting sense of control. Most wouldn''t consider my treatment of Cerberus bad by any means.

    But most hadn''t spent years chained to a wall. Most hadn''t spent their childhood as a captive.

    So I lay still, motionless as a corpse, in a room more warm and luxurious than any I could remember, feeling like the most horrible person on Earth.

 Chapter 23: Cicil

    This was my favorite part of Preene, between cities. There were no luxurious inns with electric lights and soft beds. There were no dining areas with thirty kinds of food to choose from. But there were also no fights, no stables, and no guardsmen to tell me to keep Cerberus muzzled. Cyrus learned on our first trip the moment we left the city walls I would let Cerberus loose. A week and four cities later, he still fidgeted as he set up his bedroll under the lycan''s watchful gaze.

    "You know, I really wish you would keep him tied."

    "I know," I said. "But he couldn''t hunt then."

    "I brought food," my manager protested, sitting on the hood of one of the rusted vehicles surrounding us. "Besides, I''m afraid he''s going to hunt my horse... or us."

    I shrugged. "If he wanted to, you would already be dead."

    "Right..." Cyrus sighed. "Listen, you know a lot of trainers have been killed by their lycans, ones that got too comfortable. Ones that raised them from pups."

    "That''s nice," I said, leaning back against a stack of tires. This was one of the few areas I had seen remnants of the old world in Preene. "I didn''t raise Cerberus from a pup."

    "Really? Who sold you an albino? Who raised an albino?" He shot me a skeptical glance. "All the breeders I''ve ever known drown any white pups."

    I grit my teeth. I had been told that several times by other trainers. My standard reply was that maybe they shouldn''t. Fortunately, that usually ended the conversation. If we continued, I might tell them maybe they shouldn''t breed lycans like dogs. Maybe they shouldn''t whip them and keep them in cages. Maybe they should feed and respect them and then maybe, just maybe, they wouldn''t want to tear their throats out.

    "I didn''t buy Cerberus. He''s wild."

    I expected his jaw to drop. After only a few days, his antics had become quite familiar to me. But he surprised me by keeping his mouth closed, his wide eyes the only indication of his shock. He didn''t look at me. He stared at Cerberus.

    Even I couldn''t deny the canine looked menacing. Red still stained his jaws, droplets of deer blood glistening in the firelight. His haunting eyes glowed from between shadows flickering over his face.

    It soon became clear Cyrus had no intention of speaking. It was quite the accomplishment, shocking him into silence. "He was an adult when he found me. He didn''t kill me then, and he''s had a thousand chances since."

    It took several more minutes for Cyrus to speak. I didn''t look up when he did. I had taken to staring at the charred bones of our dinner, thrown in the fire we had cooked on.

    "Is that how it''s done... in Askance?"

    I pursed my lips in a frown. "There are no trainers in Askance. I was the only one who had any control over the lycans."

    "Lycans? You had others?"

    "Drop it." I hissed through exposed teeth. The heavy stones were back, pressing into the sharp ones that were a constant in Preene. I didn''t want to think about them. I didn''t want to think about their bodies, how their bones must be charred like the ones in our fire.

    He was only silent a few heartbeats. He was quiet, even hesitant as he voiced his next question. "Why did you leave? Didn''t you have friends? Family there? Parents?"

    "No." I snapped. I never knew what happened to my parents, but I could imagine. They had no way of knowing the joy I brought them was toxic.

    "Then who raised you?"

    I took a deep breath, steadying myself. I had to remember how to act again. I couldn''t let myself get worked up over a few questions. "Lots of people," was my reply, calm, casual. "I didn''t care for any of them. I don''t have family or friends."

    "I''m sorry-"

    "Don''t!" I fell backwards, just barely avoiding his sympathetic touch. Cerberus let out a low growl, but Cyrus was too busy frowning at me to notice the threat.

    "You should know by now I''m not going to hurt you, so what''s the matter?"

    "I..." I ground my teeth together. After a moment''s consideration, I reached up, snatching his exposed wrist in my bare hand. "What do you feel?" I demanded too forcefully. I needed to calm down. I was supposed to be acting.

    "Uh," he looked down to where my skin was pressed to his, "I can feel you shaking..."

    I breathed out a sigh, releasing his wrist and sitting up. It didn''t matter. My touch meant nothing. I was no longer toxic. I was no longer a drug.

    "What about you?" I asked too quickly. I tried and failed to keep the relief from my voice. "What was your childhood like?"

    "I grew up in the capital," was all he said.

    ***

    Cicil was too loud. The capital of Preene was even more boisterous and crowded than Obria. Buildings much taller than any I had seen in Askance lined the alleyways. The streets themselves were soft under my feet, as if the entire city had been built on a plain of sand. Cyrus was right, it was warmer here. Despite it being so close to winter months, I felt the urge to remove my jacket under the late noon sun, not that I would ever do so. Its long sleeves were as much of a shield from pedestrians as they were from the cold.

    The streets of the market were far too crowded with shops and booths for Cerberus or Cyrus''s horse, so we were forced to enter on foot after leaving the inn. The people were much more colorful here than any of the cities we visited thus far. They were draped in vivid blouses, robes, and even dresses. I hadn''t seen a woman in a dress since the previous winter, when villagers sometimes wore thick skirts over winter pants. Yet those crude clothes couldn''t compare to the elegance and craftsmanship of the garb of the capital women.

    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    Try as I might to avoid them, I couldn''t help but be brushed and bumped by dozens of people. Several times my bare hand swept across skin. I flinched away before crossing my arms, tucking my hands safely under my elbows.

    I wasn''t poisonous. The drug was gone. My touch was meaningless.

    But they were everywhere. Merchants were calling out over one another, customers were haggling prices and talking amongst themselves. Everyone wore flowing clothes that wrapped around my arms and legs as they passed. In my mind they were silken ropes, come to bind me, to take me captive and hold me prisoner.

    A long-haired man passed me, his elegant, gold-trimmed robe momentarily catching on my heel before he pulled away. I lunged forward, grabbing Cyrus around the wrist. He paused and turned back. His eyes met mine, his unspoken question sparkling in their bleak blue depths.

    "I don''t want to lose you," I muttered and glanced away. It would draw too many questions if I refused to leave my guardian, as I had done in Askance. However, without Cerberus by my side, Cyrus was the only one I could trust. It hardly made me feel safe, but I had no other choice. To consider myself alone was far worse.

    My manager nodded. His arm twisted in my grip, reaching back to grasp around my wrist. I stared up as he began to pull me through the crowd. His jawline was quite prominent from this angle. Was it possible I hadn''t noticed his strong frame, now guiding me through the people like a ray of sunlight through the night? I had spent over two weeks with the man, but never really looked at him, not like this.

    No. I couldn''t think that way. I couldn''t get caught up in a fantasy. Cyrus was a man, just like any other. He would only help me so long as I was useful to him. This is the way I must see it. Cerberus was the only one I could truly trust; he was the only one who had ever proven himself. I couldn''t let myself be tricked by anyone; I couldn''t let what had happened with Brennon happen again.

    He pulled me through a door and released me. I immediately stepped away, glancing around the well-kept shop. I looked anywhere but at him. Why did my wrist suddenly feel so cold?

    Leather muzzles of various sizes lined one of the walls. Along another were shelves of whips, some normal leather, others an assortment of the electric kind I had encountered in Treef. The memory of Cerberus''s yelp when it hit him flashed through my mind. I could only imagine the pain of the lycans condemned to silence.

    Suddenly, I found myself wondering how I had ended up in such a place. Why was I here? I hated Cicil with its crowds. I hated the lycan fights. I hated the trainers. I hated Preene.

    A promise. I had made a promise to those who no longer had ears to hear it, but it was a promise, nonetheless. That was why I stayed, to keep a promise.

    With that resolution in mind, I was filled with the courage of determination. I couldn''t run away, for the ones who had refused to run away for me.

    "Cyrus, my boy, I haven''t seen you since you were... well, a boy!"

    My gaze switched over to a man sitting on a stool in the back corner of the shop. With his rough skin and the beginnings of graying hair, he blended well into the shop''s merchandise. However, when he stood, it soon became clear he was a giant of a man, standing a full head taller than Cyrus, who he embraced in arms muscled to match.

    "Hey, Roshaun."

    "You told me you weren''t coming back until you found a trainer," the man said, pulling back to look over my manager''s face. "Have any luck?"

    For an answer, Cyrus gestured with an open palm to me. The shopkeeper turned my way. The younger man slipped under the elder''s arm, trotting to my side. "May I introduce Desire, the greatest trainer you ever met."

    I gave a slight nod in greeting. I was reasonably sure I was blushing.

    Roshaun laughed. "That''s quite the claim. You know how many trainers I''ve met."

    "Hands down, the best there is," Cyrus stated, his usual silly demeanor hanging around him. "We haven''t lost a fight yet. But more impressive than that, Desire can call him off an attack, even after he got his teeth in the guy!"

    "That is impressive." The man examined me with a new kind of respect. "And what would such a trainer need of my humble services?"

    I took a deep breath before speaking. Be calm, be confident. "Cyrus told me you were the best leatherworker he knew." It was best to start off with flattery, I would rather make friends than enemies. It was a skill I was sadly lacking. "I need a custom muzzle for my lycan." I didn''t want any muzzle at all, but Cyrus assured me a well-fitted muzzle would be much more comfortable than the ropes we currently used.

    "Really?" Roshaun crossed his arms. "In what way will it need to be customized? Smaller in the forehead, smaller in the muzzle...?"

    "Bigger in both," I said. "We have yet to find one that fits over his nose."

    The shopkeeper glanced at Cyrus, who nodded. "Well," he said, "as Cyrus has probably told you, we breed them bigger in the capital. I have several already made that adjust up to a seven-foot two male."

    I shook my head. "That still won''t do. Cerberus is eight foot two."

    Roshaun''s reaction was remarkably similar to Cyrus''s. I briefly wondered if all people in the capital were this expressive. The man choked on his words. "Eight two? Did I hear you right, miss? I''ve never seen one so large. That''s big enough to-"

    "To ride?" Cyrus finished with a grin. "Why don''t you show me your leather stock while I tell you some of the stories I have. You wouldn''t believe this giant if you saw him." My manager grabbed the leatherworker by the arm, leading him through a door in the back. ¡°Eats like a... well, I¡¯m not sure what eats that much.¡±

    I frowned. It seemed Cyrus knew this place well, though I didn''t. Now he had left me alone.

    The men had hardly been gone a minute before the door opened again. I spun around. I spotted the man who entered immediately. He was impossible to miss with his bright pink shirt and equally bright matching hair.

    "Roshaun!" the man called out. "Is my whip done? I''m not in the mood for waiting!" He turned, seeming to just notice my presence. "Nevermind! I don''t mind..." He smiled, stalking toward me. "Hello there. Who''s manager might you be?"

    I fought the urge to step back. Instead, I frowned up at him. "I''m not a manager, I''m a trainer."

    The man laughed, then gave a little bow. "My apologies, miss. I am Teppo Fandaris, professional class trainer."

    I nodded. "Desire, pro trainer as well." The door opened again. I looked over Fandaris''s shoulder. The man who had entered had dark skin and brilliant blue hair. "Is that your manager?"

    Fandaris glanced behind himself and laughed again. "Why yes, it is. But right now, I want to hear more about your ¡®pro training¡¯."

    "Well, unfortunately, you''ll have to wait," I said. "That''s my manager there, and we''re very busy at the moment." I pulled away from the pink-haired man, slipping over to the newly appeared Cyrus''s side. "Extremely busy, right?"

    Cyrus looked from me to Fandaris. His eyes widened, then narrowed. "Yeah, sure. See you Roshaun." The giant man waved to us as Cyrus pulled me out the door. "What was that about?"

    I shook my head. "He was getting too close."

    Cyrus raised his eyebrows. "That was Fandaris. He''s a top trainer, one of the best. He¡¯s also known as a bit of an eccentric, even as trainers go."

    I frowned. "Funny, I got that impression, too." I sighed. It didn¡¯t matter, I just wasn¡¯t used to people coming so close. I was just another person here.

    My manager shook his head, seeming to clear it before a ridiculous grin spread across his face. He grabbed my shoulders, excitement clearly written over every inch of him. ¡°Guess what? Roshaun sponsored us! Well, Cerberus, but you knew that-"

    I found myself grinning along with him as he blabbered on. It was hard not to; his enthusiasm was infectious. So much that it was only when he let go I realized I¡¯d forgotten to flinch away.

 Chapter 24: Capital Arena

    I thought the outer cities'' arenas were loud. They were whispers compared to the thunder of Cicil''s stadium. The people in the stands across from us were mere specks of color. Trumpets and other horn instruments blared over the sound of cheering.

    "Shouts don''t carry far enough," Cyrus explained to me. One thing I did like over the smaller arenas was the shaded booths reserved for the trainers, all lining the front row of the stands. "Trumpets are for the males, horns for the females. Each tune is for a different class. That was just the opening theme for the day." A short series of trumpet notes rang out from the official''s booth. "And that was the amateur class."

    "I see." The arena was split into several smaller areas by great walls, so six pairs could fight at once. The amateur lycans were released and immediately began their duels. I tried to appear interested while not really paying attention. I had seen my fair share of lycan fights in the past weeks.

    "They¡¯ll take down the dividers for the finals of each class," my manager babbled on. "And they only use them in the qualifying round of the pros." I felt him clasp at my arm. "Listen, it''s been a dream of mine to compete in the pros here. Really, I can''t thank you enough for this."

    I didn''t answer him. The lycans finished their fights. Trainers chased them to their stalls. Horns played their melody and the females were released. Preene was a sick place if it raised its children to dream of the suffering of others.

    Try as I might not to watch, I didn''t miss one over-enthusiastic female rake her claws across the stomach of another. Blood spilled from the wound, wetting the already red sand. Although the fight was halted, I knew the injured lycan wouldn''t survive. This wasn''t the first time I had seen a lycan fatally injured in the fights, but the feeling never changed. I wanted to hurl.

    I tried to breathe through clenched teeth. "Cyrus?"

    He glanced my way. "Yeah? What is it?"

    "Do you ever think lycan fighting might be wrong?"

    He blinked, then tilted his head slightly. "No, they''re just aggressive beasts. It''s not like they''re sentient or anything. Why? Do you?"

    I stared at him, careful to keep my face expressionless. However, I feared my eyes revealed much more than I meant. "Is that what you think of Cerberus? That he¡¯s just an aggressive beast without thoughts or feelings?"

    Cyrus began to answer, then stopped himself. He hesitated, looked down, and finally settled on a reply. "I think you give that lycan more trust than he deserves."

    I nodded, turning away so my eyes couldn''t speak what I didn''t wish to say. "I did too once."

    The man''s gaze didn''t leave me for the next six rounds.

    It was nearing midday when an official came to our booth to inform me it was time for me to move Cerberus to his stall. When I returned, there were two other men in our booth, each unmistakable with their brilliantly dyed hair.

    "Looks like you weren''t just bulling about competing in the pros!" Fandaris said as I took my seat, which he had conveniently placed himself beside. "I had some errands this morning. I''ve only just arrived. Anything interesting happen so far?"

    I lifted my chin, trying not to picture the fatally injured lycan. "No."

    "I figured." He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "It''s all so dreadfully boring until you get to the pros." A wicked grin spread across his features. "Hey, why not make it a little more interesting with a wager?" He placed a gloved hand on my thigh. I fought the urge to squirm. The flowy robe Cyrus had insisted I wore was far too thin for my liking. The trainer leaned in, speaking softly in my ear, though I was sure our managers could hear him. "If your lycan wins, I''ll pay for that custom muzzle you''re having made. If mine wins, I''ll give you a private lesson at my place."

    I glanced from his hand to his vibrant pink hair. A small smirk crossed my face as the trumpet tune for the pros echoed over the arena. "I''ll take that offer."

    Fandaris grinned. "Well, I hope you''re in the mood then, because that''s my lycan there." He pointed to a deep chocolate male with auburn highlights. He was by far the largest captive lycan I had seen thus far, standing at least seven foot three. A long list of sponsors were rattled off along with a few aggressive-sounding words I assumed to be the lycan¡¯s name. However, my smile only grew.

    "Quite," I said. "It seems my lycan was in the same draw as yours." From the adjacent stall stepped my albino alpha. He towered a foot taller than his opponent and, judging from the build of the other, weighed sufficiently more.

    Fandaris gasped, along with most of the crowd. Roshaun was right, they did breed lycans larger in the capital. Even so, none were a match for their wild cousin.

    I was impressed Fandaris''s lycan didn''t immediately surrender, as many others had. The chocolate male stood his ground, baring his teeth in a silent challenge. By now Cerberus was more familiar with acting the part of captive and mimicked the expression. There was a mere moment as they contemplated their opponent, then charged.

    The two rolled, locked together in fierce combat. Teeth flashed as they bit into one another. Long claws raked through thick coats. They quickly became the last of the pairs still fighting, though neither showed any sign of surrendering. Cerberus''s fur dyed red, mostly from the arena''s clay ground. Hopefully. It was difficult to tell if the other had sustained much injury due to his coloring, though I was certain he had.

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    The other male''s canines sunk into Cerberus''s forearm. My eyes widened, yet my companion stayed silent. His long claws wrapped around his opponent''s biceps, lifting the dark lycan off the ground. Another gasp from the now hushed crowd. The albino threw him down, once, twice, yet he still kept his grip. Again and again he pounded him into the clay, and still, the other male kept his jaws firmly in place.

    Finally, Cerberus flung him to the ground, pinning him down with his superior weight. The albino dug his own teeth into the side of his opponent''s neck. The other lycan released his grip, bending back to let out a soundless howl. When Cerberus pulled back, his opponent''s tail was between his legs.

    The crowd exploded into cheers so loud they drowned out even the trumpets that announced the end of the match. Fandaris was on his feet, knuckles white as they gripped the metal railing.

    "No! Bastard!" he screamed out over the arena before rounding on me. "You bitch!" he yelled.

    I leaned back in my seat. Cyrus bent forward, placing an arm protectively across my chest. I suddenly wished I had my poison back, if only for that instant.

    "You dirty whore!" Fandaris hissed. "You snake in women''s-" He paused. The trainer took a deep breath, seeming to calm himself. He closed his eyes. "I am sorry, that was very unsportsmanlike of me. You see, I have not lost the qualifying round for some years." He raised his hands in a submissive gesture. "I know, I know, it is no excuse for me to act so ungentlemanly. Please, let us walk down to the pit together."

    I eyed him. Although still clearly agitated by his loss, I determined he was unlikely to try anything with so many people around. Besides, my dagger was hidden against my leg. I gently pushed Cyrus''s arm aside and stood. A false smile crossed my features. "Of course. All is forgiven."

    He smiled as well, easily taking my arm. I found myself still wishing for my poison. "Yes, all is forgiven between us."

    ***

    Despite the size of the capital''s lycans, they fared no better against Cerberus than those of the outer cities. None of his opponents were quite as tall as Fandaris''s lycan. I suspected, had I not come, he held a good chance of being the champion. Fandaris knew this as well, judging by his increasingly foul mood, though he did his best to hide it.

    "You''re doing excellent for your first fight in the capital," he said as I once again took my seat.

    "Yes, thank you," I replied absentmindedly. Cerberus had just won his qualifying round for the championship nearly as easily as he had his first fight in Treef. Even still, I sensed something was off. For several rounds he had received blows he could have easily blocked, as if he hadn''t seen them.

    "I''m glad the clouds cleared," Fandaris remarked, glaring at the sky as if it were responsible for his poor luck at the first draw. "I thought it might rain, but it looks like we''re in luck."

    I didn''t bother trying to answer over the trumpets. Cerberus entered the arena along with a solid gray, seven-foot male. The moment he stepped onto the clay, I knew something was wrong. He hesitated in his steps and didn''t look toward his opponent. The brightening sunlight shone off the lycans'' light coats. The gray male charged.

    Cerberus took the full force of the blow to his side. I jumped to my feet. He twisted around, biting blindly at his opponent until his jaws met fur. His hind feet kicked out, knocking the other lycan off him. The albino got up, violently shaking his head.

    I leaned forward over the railing. His eyes were nearly shut.

    The gray male charged again, this time striking head on. Cerberus lashed out, missing his opponent by over a foot. The other lycan didn''t. The albino stumbled sideways, shaking his head again.

    A solid pressure pushed into my back. I felt my center of balance shift. I hardly had time to let out a cry of alarm before I was falling.

    I landed on my shoulder. My breath left me for a moment. Its return was quickly followed by a dull ache and a deathly quiet. I looked up. Both lycans had turned my way. Yellow eyes bore into mine, while the pinkish nose of my albino sniffed at the air.

    Then they charged.

    "Cerberus!" I screamed. "Cerberus! Blood Eye, it''s me!"

    The gigantic white form slammed into the arena wall. A deep growl washed over me.

    "Why are you here?" he snarled, voice so low only I could hear.

    "I... fell," I whispered back. "What''s wrong with you?"

    He snorted. "It¡¯s too bright. I can''t see."

    "Oh..." I remembered reading albino animals often had photosensitivity, though I hadn''t thought much on it in the cloudy lycan mountains. I glanced around his heaving chest. The other lycan was observing us with a tilted head, no doubt his sensitive ears picked up our conversation. However, I knew his interest would only preoccupy him for long.

    Cerberus turned, seeming to come to the same conclusion. He stood up and chuffed. The gray lycan tipped his head. The fingers of Cerberus''s paw-like hands curled into wicked claws. He let a challenging roar.

    Several people screamed. The silent stands suddenly exploded into a chaos of voices, all a drone of confusion from my position. I peered around Cerberus''s tail. The gray lycan stumbled. His yellow eyes narrowed. Then, he charged.

    Cerberus caught his opponent mid-leap, throwing him back. No sooner had the gray landed than he charged again. The albino''s claws buried in the other lycan''s fur, digging into flesh. He no longer held his snarls of fury as he fought his opponent with a viciousness I hadn''t seen in him since he fought Thorn.

    Since he killed his beta for me.

    He was going to kill him. The realization hit me just as Cerberus''s jaws closed around the back of the gray''s neck. He lifted the other male up as easily as he would a cub.

    "Stop!" I screamed. "Cerberus, don''t do it!" Tears started to stream down my face. Red began to color gray fur. "Please! I''m begging you, don''t kill him!"

    The albino alpha released his grip. The other lycan fell to the ground, rolling on his back, his tail between his legs. Cerberus glanced his way, then looked back to me.

    "Go back to your stall. It''s over."

    Cerberus stared at me. His hidden message swirled in his crimson irises. He said nothing, but it hardly mattered. I knew what he would say if he could. The albino turned and trotted back the stall from which he had entered. The other lycan''s trainer rushed into the pit.

    I twisted around, looking up the pit wall to the booth I fell from. Cyrus was staring down with a mixture of awestruck and alarm. I only caught his true expression for a moment, but I could tell Fandaris''s face wasn''t so pitying.

 Chapter 25: Fandaris

    The inn at Cicil was far beyond any we had encountered. The others we visited were simple taverns with rooms on the second floor. The Darr had tiled floors, a full dining hall with waiters, sheets as soft as liquid, and even a pool for swimming in the summer months. Large chandeliers with electric light lit the main lobby while smaller lamps lined the hallways and individual rooms. Cyrus spent our first night explaining how the windmill outside powered everything. Now, sitting in the dining hall, he had something else to chat about.

    "Really, that was amazing! I thought you were going to be ripped to pieces." He leaned back in his seat, twirling his fork between his fingers before neatly stabbing a spinach leaf. My eyes followed his movements as he used the utensil to gesture to me. "Listen, I had a feeling you were something special. But this-" He stuffed the leaf in his mouth. "This is far beyond what I expected." He swallowed. "You got a gift, you know that?"

    I picked a few bits of crumbled cheese from my salad, savoring their sharp flavor as they melted in my mouth. I appreciated the variety of food after so long with only raw meat. "It was a curse."

    Cyrus tilted his head. "How could it be a curse?"

    I shrugged. "It isn''t now."

    My manager contemplated me for a moment, then shrugged as well. "You''re pretty weird sometimes, you know that? But whatever. I''m just glad your career wasn''t cut short."

    I didn''t reply. My mind was still on my fall, specifically the pressure on my back that made me lose my balance.

    "I can''t believe they disqualified the fight. Yeah, you were in the arena, but the hellhound still totally beat him!" He crossed his arms. "We shouldn''t have to split the earnings just because of a freak accident. It''s not like you intentionally fell." My manager shook his head as he turned back to his food. ¡°Really hate disappointing Roshaun like that, too. That man¡¯s done a lot for me. I¡¯ll have to write him in next fight...¡±

    I stood up and pushed my bowl away. "I didn''t fall," I said, turning. "I''m going out." I marched from the room.

    "Desire, wait! What do you mean? Where are you going?"

    ***

    The sky was dark by the time I managed to track down Fandaris''s building. It seemed the trainer was quite well known, both for his success and vibrant personality. His home was four stories tall. It was easy enough to find him there, the door to the basement stable was open. I could hear the crack of an electric whip inside. My mind supplemented the pained cries that should have been present as I walked down the curving staircase.

    Fandaris was there, usually well-groomed pink hair disheveled and sweat dripping down his neck. He stood panting, whip crackling as it rested on the cement floor. The chocolate lycan huddled in the corner. His head hung between his elbows. Through his body shook and his tail was tucked close to him, his amber eyes were steady. The slightest of hints of fangs peaked from under his curled lip. There was anger there. He hadn''t surrendered yet.

    "That''s a little harsh, isn''t it?" I purred as I descended the rest of the way into the stable. Both males looked my way. "Personally, I thought he fought quite well today. I was impressed."

    Fandaris blinked, as if not believing I was really there. "Desire?"

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    "What? I asked around."

    "Why are you here?"

    I shrugged. "You said you wanted to give me a private lesson. I assumed the offer still stands?" I raised an eyebrow as I leaned back against the cool stone of the stable wall.

    Fandaris stood up straight, running his fingers through his hair as he stared at me. "Yeah... Yes, of course." He put on that plastic smile, too friendly, like a doll. "Let me show you upstairs. We can have a drink."

    I frowned, then stalked forward. "Actually, I was thinking we stay right here." My hands found his shoulders. "Is that okay with you?"

    "Yeah." He grinned. "Whatever you want, hun..."

    I smirked. "Good, because I got a few things I want to discuss with you." I stood on my toes, whispering in his ear, "I know you pushed me in that arena."

    His breath caught in his throat. He let out a nervous laugh. "Well, we all make mistakes, right? I was a just a little frustrated. You have to forgive me for my-"

    I pressed my finger to his lips. "Don''t worry about it," I whispered. "That''s just going to make this sweeter." My hand trailed down the curve of my hip, burying in the folds of my dress while my other hooked around his neck.

    "Really?" His eyes softened. "You''re a bit kinky. But that''s okay. I like that in a woman."

    "You haven''t seen anything yet," I purred, and stabbed him in the leg.

    The man stumbled backwards, screaming. He gripped the handle of my dagger. "What the hell? What''s wrong with you?"

    I marched forward, kicking him in the chest. He fell on his back with a groan. The lycan''s chains clanked together as he shifted to get a better look at his fallen captor. "Didn''t you just say? I''m a bit kinky, remember?"

    "You''re psychotic!" he cried out.

    I shrugged. "That may be. Either way, it doesn''t bode well for you getting out of this alive."

    "Wait, what?" Fandaris panted, attempting to sit up. He was rather pale. "You''re going to kill me?"

    "Oh, no no no..." I knelt to his level, poking him in the nose. I had to make this quick; he was bleeding profusely and already looking lightheaded. "As much as I''d love to take revenge for that little sleight of hand, I know someone else who wants to rip you apart much more."

    Fandaris followed my eyes to his lycan, whose ears were now pricked with interest.

    "What?! You''re crazy! He''ll kill us both!"

    "Oh, I don''t think so," I said, running my hand along his waistline until I felt the loop he kept his keys on. I yanked it from his belt, breaking the thin metal ring. Several keys fell in my hand. I stood, idly sifting through them. "You see, I know much more about lycans than you do. And one of the things I know, they are much less likely to kill you when you don''t beat them with whips or chain them up. Ah, this one I think." I held up a particularly worn key. I strode to the lycan''s side, pushing the steel piece into one of his cuffs. It fell open with a click. "Would you look at that? First try."

    The lycan stared at me as I undid his chains. Only his eyes moved, watching me unhook his thick collar. I reached up, running my hand through the fur of his cheek. His amber irises bore into mine. I gave a slight nod before stepping back.

    "The west gate isn''t far from here. There are only two guards. It''s your best chance when you''re done." I glanced to Fandaris, who appeared frozen in shock. "Go on, you''re free now."

    The lycan stared at me a moment longer. His eyes held that same kind of emotion as Cerberus''s. Then he nodded and lunged for his master.

    I turned away and marched up the stairs. Cyrus would be wondering where I wandered off to. Although I had purchased a few items as cover, it was best not to be gone too long.

    I could hear Fandaris''s screams, though outside the cement stable their sound bore little difference than the shrieks of an owl. Still, I knew what those screams were. They made me feel like my old self, my poisonous self. But this time I wasn''t afraid.

    I was powerful.

 Chapter 26: River

    I was tired of the flowy fabric Cyrus dressed me in. He had explained trainers were a colorful people, often those with the most sponsors were the ones who stood out. Their managers usually dressed to match. But I was sick of playing by Preene''s rules.

    Besides, in a sea of silken color, I thought black leather stood out quite well.

    My manager''s eyes instantly became the size of apples the moment I sat beside him. I smirked at his overly expressive features. "Like it?" I purred, "This is what my outfit originally looked like."

    Cyrus swallowed before answering. "Wow. That''s certainly... unique..." His eyes scanned over me again. A small smile graced his lips as they landed on the leather whip curled at my side. "I thought you didn''t use whips on Cerberus."

    I shrugged. "It''s not for him."

    My manager gaped at me, then laughed again, though he looked considerably more nervous. "Right... you fit right in with the capital trainers, unique and eccentric." The tension eased in his shoulders. "I was a little worried about how nervous you were when we got here, but it seems Cicil is really bringing out the real you."

    "It is," I hummed.

    I watched the fights with a renewed interest. It still made me sick to my stomach to see lycans forced to battle for the amusement of others, even more so to see them beaten by their trainers, but now I had a purpose. I scanned the dividers as the trainers sent their lycans back to their stalls. They would do well to watch themselves. I was on a mission to keep my promise, and I would start with the most cruel of them.

    "You seem unusually chipper today," Cyrus remarked. "What exactly did you do last night that put you in such a good mood?"

    I rolled my eyes, though didn''t look away from the pit. No one had caught my attention yet, but I was certain someone would. "I bought this." I tugged at my jacket.

    Cyrus snorted. "Okay, whatever. You do realize this is the first time you''ve wanted to go to a fight Cerberus wasn''t in?"

    "He''s injured," I huffed, then pointed up to the sky. "Besides, it''s too bright. Don''t enter him on sunny days, he doesn''t do well."

    "Right," my manager sighed. "I''m going to have to start writing this stuff down."

    "You''ll-" I paused. It was the end of an intermediate level female fight. The trainers had entered the pit. The winning female had already retreated to her stall, but the loser stood still. Her dapple gray coat shimmered with the vibration of her silent snarl as her trainer approached. The woman cracked her electric whip, marching toward her lycan.

    Her anger blinded her to the warning signs. I could tell from my position in the spectator stands that the lycan had enough. She wasn''t going to back down.

    It happened in an instant. The woman swung out her whip. The lycan lunged.

    Screams exploded in my ears, but I hardly heard them. My gaze was fixed on the female. She tore the woman''s dress to rags, dyeing the orange fabric red. Her jaws clamped onto the back of her trainer''s neck. She pinned her body under paws, shaking until chunks of flesh ripped from the woman''s back.

    "Cyrus," I murmured in his ear, "what''s going to happen to her?"

    He swallowed. His face had gone pale. "Kill her. She''s untrainable now."

    No. I jumped to my feet, immediately pushing my way through the shocked crowd. What did they think was going to happen? Surely, this female wasn''t the first to have enough of being caged and beaten. I glanced down to the arena. Soldiers were descending into the tunnels that led to the pit. I broke into a run. No, I wouldn''t let this female die for breaking her chains.

    I stumbled over people''s feet. My boots caught on robes. But I didn''t care. That female wasn''t going to die. I grabbed the doorway, swinging into the official''s booth.

    "Don''t kill her! I''ll take her! I''ll take her!"

    Everyone in the booth stared at me. A silver-haired man turned my way, blinking, then squinting. "Are you the girl who fell in yesterday?"

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    "Yes!" I panted. "And I want that lycan! Don''t kill her!"

    The man nodded, frustratingly calm. "That was quite impressive. I''m surprised you survived."

    "Yes! Yes! Why aren''t you listening? Stop this! I want the lycan!"

    He sighed. "I''m afraid I can''t do that. You see, she''s untrainable now. She''d just kill you, too."

    I slammed my fists into the official¡¯s table. A trumpet rolled off to the seat below. "I can train her, damn it! I''ll prove it right now!"

    The man blinked.

    "You''ve seen my lycan. I ride him! He didn''t attack me when I fell in! I can tame her-"

    "Okay, okay." The man held up his hands. "I''ll give you a chance, since you''re so eager." He nodded to a younger man beside him, who raised a cone to his mouth, ordering the soldiers to halt. The elder fixed me with his gaze. "I do hope for your sake you''re not being foolish."

    "I''m not," I hissed, before turning and running out the door. I rushed through the stands, hardly paying attention to where I was going and who was in my way. The soldiers may be ordered to stop, but I wasn''t taking any chances. I ran down the stairs and into the cement corridors before bursting into the pit. I stumbled through the deep clay toward the paused soldiers.

    "She''s mine!" I cried. "I can tame her!" Six pairs of human eyes and one canine stared at me as I bent over, catching my breath. "Leave us," I panted. "I got this under control." I stood up straight, though my chest still heaved from my run. "Go on! Leave us."

    The men glanced to the official''s booth before filing out the door I had come from. With the other humans gone, I turned my attention to the lycan.

    She was frightened. I could see that in her trembling limbs. She eyed me with pale yellow irises. Slowly, her lip lifted in a silent snarl. Her fear and confusion would make her prone to attack. She knew what she had done, and what her punishment was. I took a deep breath and walked forward.

    She swiped at me in warning. I stopped, watching her hackles raise. "I''m not going to hurt you," I whispered. My fingers found the loop on my belt, which held my whip to my hip. I pulled the button loose, releasing the leather into my hand. I tossed it away. "That''s never struck a lycan. Nor human¡­ yet."

    The female''s ears pricked forward. She tipped her head.

    I glanced at the remains of the lycan''s trainer. She had done quite the job tearing her apart. "She deserved that, didn''t she? She hurt you and made you fight. Then, when you won her a living, she still beat and starved you."

    The lycan dropped down on all fours. Her lip relaxed, once again covering her teeth. Her pale eyes softened. My heart clenched in my chest.

    "I know what it''s like; to be caged, starved... forced to do things you don''t want to do. All you crave for is a little bit of power, just some sort of semblance of control in your own life. You want them to feel your pain. You want someone to suffer in the same way you have, just so you know you''re not alone. All you can feel is hopeless and angry and hateful, but what you really want is someone, anyone in the world ,that you can trust."

    I hesitated, then stepped forward. The lycan didn''t move nor make any sort of aggressive gesture. All she did was look at me. The sadness in her gaze was so familiar to me I was nearly strangled by it. I fell to my knees, reaching out to her. The crowd murmured amongst themselves, but I ignored them. Right now, in this singular instant, she and I were the only creatures in existence, and even then, we were practically the same.

    "Please, let me save you. I could never forgive myself if I didn''t. They might not think you''re capable of thoughts and emotions, but I know you are." I dropped my hand. The back of it hit dry clay. I stared into the red dirt. "Or you can kill me and take your revenge on one more human."

    Her paws made the slightest of sounds as she stepped forward. Her damp nose brushed against my cheek. I stood still while she sniffed, wondering what her choice would be.

    Soft fur made its way under my arm. I picked up my head. The lycan had placed her forehead in my hand. A small smile crept onto my face. I touched her shoulder.

    "Thank you," I whispered. "Please, go back to your stall so I can take you to where you can be fed. But first- '''' I grabbed her fur as she attempted to turn away. "You''re very beautiful. I doubt the humans gave you a proper lycan name."

    The female tipped her head.

    "Right. I noticed you move with the smoothness of running water. Is it alright if I call you River?"

    The lycan opened her mouth in a canine grin. She gave a quick nod before trotting back to her stall.

    My audience exploded into applause and cheers. I paid them no mind. Unlike my old life, I didn''t stage my actions for them. I watched as the stall door lowered, closing the female from my sight.

    "Welcome to the pack, River."

    ***

    When I got back to the inn, there was a letter waiting for me.

    To the exceptional trainer of the albino champion, you and a guest are invited to a masquerade held in honor of the Royal King of Preene, Darrius.

 Chapter 27: Breeder

    "Halt! Where are you going?"

    I frowned, glaring down at the city guards. Their deep blue ruffles weren''t nearly as intimidating as Askance¡¯s soldiers¡¯ sleek red and gold uniforms. "Aren''t you supposed to question people coming in the city, not leaving?"

    One of the guards gave a short half bow. "My apologies, miss. We simply try to limit lycan thievery. Seeing as you have two lycans and no manager, questioning you is mandatory."

    I sighed, leaning back on my mount. "I am Desire. Surely you know I''m the only trainer to ride her lycan, so that should be proof enough." I patted the side of Cerberus''s neck. He growled. "And I''m not leaving. I''m letting my albino out for a run. He needs to work out a little energy."

    The other guard eyed the massive canine. "You plan on letting that one loose?"

    My fingers tangled in thick white fur. "Yes, out in the forest. Or would you rather he break loose in the city?" I didn''t appreciate the delay. Judging by Cerberus''s second growl, neither did he.

    At first, I thought they would refuse. Fortunately, they seemed to collect their senses and nodded in unison. The west gates swung open, allowing Cerberus and River to run through. I waited until we were well out of earshot to speak.

    "This should be far enough."

    My mount slid to a halt, closely followed by the gray female. I vaulted off his shoulders before turning around and slipping off his muzzle. He flexed his jaw, then nodded his thanks. I turned to River.

    "I''ll let you join him after you gain a little weight. Oh..." I tipped my head. "You''ve never hunted before, have you?"

    The female shook her head.

    "I''ll teach her when she''s stronger," Cerberus said. "For now, she should be watching you. What you did with that trainer was foolish." He glanced to River. "In the arena, even more so."

    I pursed my lips. "I know what I''m doing."

    The albino lycan growled. "You were smarter when you feared my kind. These lycans may be smaller, but their fear and hunger only make them more vicious. As long as you call yourself a trainer, they will hate you, and you have no poison to protect yourself."

    "I know that!" I huffed, turning away. "Don''t you think I hate being a trainer, too? But it''s the only way for us to stay together in this foul place!"

    I began to march back toward the western gate. A furred, paw-like hand caught my shoulder, turning me around. Cerberus pressed his forehead to mine, red eyes boring into me. "We can still run away," he snarled softly. "We are not far from the next country. We can beat the snow."

    I paused, staring into those crimson irises. After a moment, I sighed. My hand pressed gently on his chest. "And what if the next country is just the same?" I whispered. "It hardly matters. I''m not here for the shelter. I''m here to keep my promise."

    Cerberus pulled away. He released a great huff through his nose. "As my lady wishes. Just don''t do anything rash."

    I nodded, once again turning back to the city. River hesitated, then followed me. The dry leaves crunched under Cerberus''s weight as he ran off.

    It was only a short walk back to the western gate. The guards looked me over as I led River through the wooden doors.

    "I think you''ve just lost a prize lycan, miss," one of them remarked.

    I shook my head. "Don''t be too alarmed when he''s waiting here come sundown."

    ***

    I walked River through the mass of people in the market. Some of them made skin contact, but I found the intertangling of robes and constant bumping more of an annoyance than anxiety. Somewhere in the last few weeks, I had become accustomed to the crowds, though I still didn''t like them. They made sure to part for River.

    "That''s a pretty lycan you have there!" A middle-aged woman called out to me from under a tarp tent. "Care to breed her? I have a fine selection of studs."

    I turned, putting on my sweetest smile, though I secretly wanted to sneer. "No thanks, I''ve got my own."

    The woman nodded, flicking a strand of stringy blond hair from her face. "That''s wonderful! In that case, would you like to register him in my accounts? I take ten percent of your fee, but I''ll find you lots of clients!"

    I waved my hands in a cheerful, dismissive gesture. It was coming back now, the false smiles, the easy demeanor. But this time I wasn''t a puppet, I was an actress. I played by my own rules. "Sorry, I''d like to get a few successful litters out of him myself before I go offering his services." There was no way I would force that on Cerberus. I couldn''t even ask. Would the little females Preene kept be able to handle the large offspring he would produce? Even if they could, I wouldn''t sell his cubs into slavery so they could be mutilated and mistreated, even killed if they happened to inherit his albinism.

    "Well, let me know when you do. I''ll arrange all the surgeries and sales for you."

    "Sure thing," I said with a wave. She should have her vocal cords cut, then perhaps she would think twice before buying and selling life.

    As I turned to walk away, two men passed me, one leading a rusty female, the other with three cubs. River stopped. I paused as well, following their progress with my eyes.

    "About time," the saleswoman scolded as they stopped in front of her tent. "You said you would be here early."

    The elder of the men was surely in his sixties, with salt and pepper hair and more than a few scars. He huffed as he dragged the three cubs forward. "Had some trouble getting a muzzle on the little one."

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    "Right," she huffed. "You didn''t say this was Missy''s litter. Isn''t she a bit small? This is the capital, after all."

    The man growled in his gruff voice. I wondered if it had anything to do with the tooth marks around his neck. Someone had tried to tear his throat out. "She births ''em just fine. I''ve been doing this longer than anyone, Sara, and ya still got no faith."

    "Whatever." The woman held out her hand expectantly. "Let''s just get this scene over with." The man handed her the three leashes.

    The moment the leather hit her hand, the female exploded. Faster than would be expected of his age, the grizzled man spun around, striking her with an electric whip. The female fell back, then lunged again. She managed to drag her handler several feet before he dug his heels in the ground. As small as she was, he still shouldn''t have been able to stop her. The cubs strained against their leashes, their calls rising in a shrill accompaniment for their mother''s silent screams. The breeder lashed out again and again. Electricity hummed in the air. The whip snapped with the force of a thunderbolt.

    I glanced to the surrounding crowd. People looked on with mild curiosity. I ground my teeth together, though was careful to keep my face expressionless. They didn''t even have the decency to be appalled. No one spoke a word when the wires wrapped around the female¡¯s face, tangling in her muzzle. No one protested when she fell to the ground. No one comforted her screaming cubs as their mother was dragged away from them by her handler.

    No one saw the expression in her dark eyes as she looked back on her children one last time. No one shed a tear for the pain hidden there, because no one bothered to look.

    Except me.

    "I''ll have the vet out tomorrow," the saleswoman said in a brisk voice, cold, emotionless. She had no sympathy for the family she had just ripped apart. "Even with their little dame, they still should be easy to sell." The old breeder nodded, then turned away.

    I gripped at River''s leash, wondering if it was anger or tears I was fighting. I wasn''t going to ignore and forget this, not the way so many people had ignored and forgotten me. "River, I think it''s time we did some hunting of our own."

    ***

    The gray female tracked the breeder while I jogged beside her. She led me to a brick building, shorter than most in the city, but wider as well. It was also the first above-ground stable I had seen. I slipped off her muzzle before heading in the open door. The man wasn''t far in. He had his back to me, arms crossed as he stared at the rusty female curled up in the corner. I paused in the doorway, collecting myself before stepping inside.

    "Excuse me?" I called out timidly. The man turned around, a frown on his face. His scowl faded into an expression of surprise as he took in my sudden appearance.

    "Yeah, miss?" he said. "What are you doing here?"

    I crossed my arms, not quite meeting his eyes. "Sara said you''re been doing this a long time. I''ve got a couple of lycans I''ve been thinking about breeding, and was wondering if you could help me out..."

    The man considered me for a moment, then nodded. "Of course, young lady, but first let me decide what to do with this one. Seems the last litter took the rest out of her."

    "She''s sick? Let me take a look." I trotted to the female, kneeling beside her.

    "''fraid it''s a little late for that."

    I gasped as I pulled over the limp female. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. Lines of fur were missing where the wires had wrapped around her face. It wasn''t the litter that had killed her; it was the electricity. She wasn''t even chained. She reminded me far too much of another rust-colored female I had known.

    My heart snapped open and released a torrent of boiling blood through my vines.

    "You know," I snarled, rising to my feet, "Missy is a really stupid name." I spun around. "River!"

    My lycan sprang through the doorway, catching the man by surprise and pinning him to the floor. His whip rolled through the dirt. I grabbed my own from my belt loop.

    "Let him up," I barked. River stepped back, allowing me to see that sweet, terrified expression I had been so familiar with in my old life. I pointed to the chains hanging from the wall. "Put them on and you will live."

    The breeder scrambled to the wall as eagerly as a starving dog to a bowl. The cuffs clicked around his wrists. The collar slipped easily over his head.

    "You''ve got a fair amount of scars," I remarked, cracking my whip on the floor. "What do you say to a few more?"

    The leather snaked across his face, leaving a red burn in its wake. The man groaned. I frowned. The whip hadn''t made a sound. I struck again, this time harder. The leather slit open the fine fabric of his shirt.

    "How''s it feel to be chained to a wall? To be beaten and know no one will save you?" The whip struck his chest. Tingles shot up my arm. "To be so utterly insignificant that you bleed for another''s amusement?"

    The exertion of the action strained pleasantly at the muscles of my back, urging me to hit harder. The sight of blood only excited me further. It wasn''t long before dull groans turned into sharp cries of pain, punctuated by the ever satisfying crack of the whip.

    But still no screams. I needed to hear them. He needed to voice the screams he had silenced.

    My gaze landed on the wires at my feet. I knelt down. The man''s open eye followed the movement, the other was swollen shut from my blows and already changing color. I gently took the handle into my grasp. The wires cackled as I squeezed the grip.

    "No," he pleaded, voice more hoarse than before.

    "There''s something you should probably know about me," I purred as I lifted my arm above my head. "I''m a liar."

    The elder breeder shrieked the most satisfying screams I had ever heard. I pulled the whip back, ready to strike again. He released his last breath, then grew still.

    Footsteps echoed from the cement walls. The other man I had seen in the market appeared.

    "Gaeton!" he called, then froze, staring at me.

    I hissed, catching River''s eye. "This one''s yours."

    ***

    Sunset painted the beige stones of the outer walls pink with their rays. The guards glanced from each other to the two lycans waiting on the gate''s forest side, one pure white, the other deep chocolate with auburn highlights. They trotted through the open gate.

    Cerberus sniffed at my arms. A growl momentarily rumbled in his chest, then he lowered his head, allowing me to slip his muzzle over his face. I vaulted on his back before turning my attention to his companion.

    "Do you want to come?"

    The chocolate male nodded. I didn''t remember his name; there had been far too much on my mind that first day in the capital arena. I doubted he wished to keep it, anyway.

    "I''ll call you Crimson Claw then. Is that acceptable?"

    Again, the lycan nodded.

    "Right." I waved to the guards. "See you later, boys." I tapped Cerberus''s neck, giving him the signal to bound off down Cicil''s narrow streets, River and Crimson Claw in pursuit.

    I would never see those guards again. There were already several lycans loose in the city, and I planned on setting more free by night''s end.

 Chapter 28: Darrius

    Preene''s castle put all others I had seen to shame. Granite pillars framed a grand entryway large enough for thirty people to enter at once. Massive glass windows lined long wings spread out across the landscape. The carriage had traveled down a narrow road between two square lakes, each spurting water high in the night sky. A fountain stood in front of us, a statue of horses and an old world god.

    The dance hallway was just as grand as the outside and filled with elegantly disguised people. My fingers tangled in the white fur around my neckline. It wasn''t nearly as soft as Cerberus''s.

    "A wolf is quite cocky for a trainer to go as," Cyrus remarked from behind his hare''s mask, "but really, I couldn''t imagine an animal that suits you better."

    I shot him a small smile. He was handsome in his neat suit, though I refrained from telling him as to not inflate his ego. Instead, I lightly ran my fingers over the side of my wolf mask. It was a replica of the one I wore in the mountains, save a small teardrop carved just beneath the right eye, imperceptible unless touched.

    We were not long inside the magnificent ballroom before I heard a voice call out for the albino trainer. I turned toward the sound, spotting the elder official I had met during River''s fight. He gestured for me to come closer. I grabbed Cyrus by the sleeve, quietly pointing out the man before dragging him over. My manager gave a little gasp as he looked over the old man and his younger companion.

    This companion was tall, lanky, and leanly muscled. The fox mask he wore matched perfectly with his brilliantly red hair and mischievous green eyes. An equally troublesome smile hung about his pale lips. Judging by his build, I would guess myself to be a year or two his senior, though he was significantly taller.

    "Hello there," he greeted with a cheerful friendliness. "Master Eemeli tells me you are the trainer of that infamous albino." His grin widened. "Though, in his old age, I''m afraid Mazon has forgotten your name."

    I let an easy smile on my features as well. Cyrus had told me of Mazon Eemeli, head trainer and, in many ways, advisor to the king himself. "Actually, in my haste, I forgot to give it," I said sweetly, resisting the urge to cross my arms. "I am called Desire."

    "Desire..." the man hummed, looking me over again. From the corner of my vision, I saw Cyrus''s eyes narrow ever so slightly. "Why is that? Surely that is not your birth name."

    I shrugged. "I knew many names in Askance, none of them given at birth. Desire is the one I liked best."

    "I see. What are some of these others?"

    Tyrant. Killer. Monster. I glanced to Cyrus. He said Preene had absolutely no communication with Askance, so they wouldn''t know that. The red-haired man was obviously someone of importance if he kept company with the head trainer. Perhaps, in this instance, it would be more beneficial to be impressive than cautious. I tilted my head ever so slightly. "I was also known as the Lady of the Lycan Mountains."

    Cyrus choked a little cough into the glass he was drinking from, though he did his best to hide it.

    By contrast, the man responded with a slight bow. "Then I must apologize, my lady, I''m afraid I''ve quite forgotten to introduce myself. I am Darrius, King of Preene."

    I curtsied in return. Important indeed. This was going to be interesting. The king turned his attention to Cyrus.

    "Surely you won''t mind if I borrow your trainer for a bit?"

    "No, certainly not, Your Majesty," my manager said, though I sensed some hesitation in his voice.

    "Good! Shall we then?" Darrius offered his arm. I did my best not to flinch while taking it. The king pulled me away, out onto one of the secluded stone balconies that lined the edges of the ballroom. Our particular vantage point was from above an in-ground pool that put the inn''s to shame. Weeping willow trees lined its edge from between stone pillars. A servant with a net swept the leaves from the waters.

    "So, how does one become known as the ''Lady of the Lycan Mountains''?"

    I leaned against the railing, a posture he copied. "By controlling a number of lycans there."

    "How?"

    I should have told him I had a gift, as so many others seemed to believe. But I couldn''t ignore the feeling he would know I was lying. "Cerberus was their alpha. I tamed him and he tamed the others."

    The king nodded. "I heard rumors your lycan is wild."

    "Yes, he is."

    "I heard his roar is so powerful it can make his opponent surrender on the spot." He slipped up onto the railing before untying his fox mask and setting it on the broad stone ledge. "You know why we cut the lycans?"

    "To keep them from howling." I knew it was wrong. But it was what Cyrus told me, what I was supposed to know.

    Darrius smiled at my parroting. "That''s what they say, isn''t it?" A shrug, then a sideways glance. "That wild lycan of yours, does he ever complain?"

    So he knew. I should have suspected. Those green eyes were clever, and I had a feeling he would know if I played dumb.

    "Cerberus is very well trained," I started slowly, gauging his reaction. The mischief on his features turned to excitement. He wanted me to know. "He doesn''t consider fighting for me a... he''s not forced. He thinks it an honor." I stared out over the gardens again. "Lately, he only speaks when spoken to."

    I glanced back. Yes, those were the right words to say. The king looked like a freckled schoolboy, wide-eyed and grinning.

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    "How?" It was almost a whisper, more breathed than spoken. "How do you tame a wild lycan?"

    I paused. What was I to say? I couldn''t tell him about my poison, that was definitely not an option. But what could I say that he would believe? "I... convinced him- them, that I was more important to them than anything else. I am the one they need above anyone else."

    "I met a wild lycan too once."

    I studied his freckled features, then sat on the railing as well. "I take it that isn''t a happy memory."

    "No." He sighed. "I suppose you know what they''re like."

    "I know just about everything there is to know about lycans."

    "Right, I thought you would." His frown turned into a bitter smile. "It''s funny how a few words can change everything. Suddenly, it didn''t seem like I was talking to an animal anymore. It was almost like I was talking to a person... Until that ''person'' mauled my father."

    My gaze fell to the floor. I knew how territorial the lycans could be.

    "I wish it had killed me."

    Darrius clenched his hands into fists until his knuckles turned white.

    "It mauled him, then just ran away. Didn''t even touch me. But I wish it had. Then I wouldn''t have had to struggle to lift my father back on his horse. I wouldn''t have had to wander through those horrid mountains for days." He grit his teeth. "I wouldn''t have been alone when I watched the light fade from his eyes."

    I was silent. I couldn''t take my eyes off him, though I wanted to look away. Wetness reflected the artificial light of the hall in his eyes. He had the same pain I did, that loss I felt every time I thought of my pack in the Lycan Mountains.

    "I''m glad they cut our captive fighters. Those monsters don''t deserve the chance to trick people like that." He caught my gaze. "Never let that lycan trick you like that."

    I nodded, unsure of what to say.

    Darrius took a deep breath, then forced a smile. "I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to force all this on you. It''s just I''ve never gotten to tell anyone that. I always thought it was better people kept believing they cut the lycans to keep them from howling. One of the last things my father said was a king needs to protect his people, you know?"

    "It''s nothing," I muttered. "I don''t mind. I know how lycans are.¡±

    "If only there was someone like you during the war."

    I blinked. "What war?"

    "The war... that started it all?" The man stared at me, then broke into a laugh. "Right, you''re Asken. My apologies." He leaned back, bracing himself with an arm placed behind him. "Shortly after human society fell apart, the lycans attacked Preene. They tried wiping us out. For a while, we couldn''t settle. Humans hid in caves, huddled together in small tribes just trying to avoid being a lycan''s prey."

    I hadn''t realized I leaned in so close. My mask was inches from the king''s face, but I couldn''t bring myself to recover the distance between us.

    Thankfully, he continued without prompting. "Eventually we recovered some old world firearms. Only then we were able to group together and form a proper resistance." He nodded to himself, momentarily breaking eye contact to glance at the sky. "But they didn''t like that. They attacked our cities in great numbers. Between lycan hoards and the children poisoning us from within, the war was hard fought, even with guns on our side."

    I momentarily wondered what the children of Preene could have done to merit a black mark in their history, but it was more important to understand this war. "And then?"

    Darrius shrugged, sitting back again. "We won. Had to about wipe them out ourselves, at least all the lycans this side of the mountains. Those we captured we made fight for their meals. Eventually, it became our sport, a kind of revenge for those dark days." His eyes met mine again. "The howling in the cities was a problem. But not as much as the talking. A few clever ones convinced people to let them go. We had massacres, and still, those few they convinced spawned sympathizers. And they''ve been causing problems since..."

    "So I''ve heard."

    "Yes. Just today, another champion trainer was found. Someone whipped him to death and released his lycans." He nodded grimly, then leaned forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Don''t let that be you. Your success makes you a target, and I couldn''t bear the thought of such a beautiful, talented woman killed by those delusional low lives." He laughed, sliding off the railing to his feet. "And here I go again. My manners really need work. I was so excited to meet you, and I haven''t even gotten you a drink yet. Wait here."

    The king trotted into the dance hall, stopping a servant with a tray. He returned with two tall glasses filled with a crimson liquid. I took a sip of the offered drink. My face puckered at the bitter taste. Darrius chuckled.

    "I take it you''ve never had alcohol before?" I shook my head. He laughed again. "It was popular in the old world. It''s made of fermented fruit. It''s got this funny thing to it: a couple make you brave, a few too many, and it makes you stupid."

    I giggled, then set my drink aside. I had read much on the old world''s alcohol, one of the contributing factors to our self imposed apocalypse. It was illegal in Askance. I wouldn''t allow my judgment to be clouded while I was alone and without my poison. "That is a funny effect."

    "Indeed." He nodded. "Now, you said you were a lady. Does that mean you lived in a castle?"

    "I did," I said. "Though it wasn''t anything like this."

    "How so?"

    "Well, for starters, it didn''t have a garden." I smirked. "Well, maybe a garden of bones. The lycans were always leaving them everywhere. I actually started calling it my ''Evil Lair''. Between the bone gardens and constant thunder, the name seemed to fit."

    He thought that was funny. "Will you ever go back?"

    I turned away, looking to the tile floor. "There are too many bones there now."

    He hesitated. "I see... What about a throne? Every ruler needs a throne."

    I snickered. "I thought the same thing."

    "Really? You miss that? I bet you want to sit on one again."

    I eyed him. "And what exactly are you getting at?"

    Darrius laughed. "Nothing really." He quickly drained his drink before holding up the empty glass. "To tell the truth, I''ve had quite a few of these."

    I raised my eyebrows. "Enough to make you brave or stupid?"

    "I don''t know," he chuckled, then leaned forward, pushing my wolf mask up by the nose. Before I could protest, he was kissing me. The king pulled back with a grin. "Why don''t you tell me?"

    I was helpless without my poison. I didn''t have Cerberus by my side. Even Cyrus was in the other room, most likely dancing with a pretty girl and not thinking about me at all.

    If I was still poisonous, he would be at my mercy. He would be in a trap he couldn''t escape. Preene''s King would be mine.

    I may no longer have my drug, but I still smelled an opportunity.

    My hands hooked around the king''s shoulders. "Give me a little time to decide.¡±

 Chapter 29: Beast

    I hated the arenas. Every time I sat in those stands, I hated them more. I wanted to burn them all down, if only to stop the fights while they were rebuilt.

    It was a bright day. There were two events to be held today. Cyrus had entered Crimson Claw in the first, Cerberus in the second. I hadn¡¯t forced myself to sit through the amateur and intermediate classes; there would be plenty of trainers during the second event. So we waited until the pro classes were about to start before we arrived.

    The little lycans no longer surprise me. I was no longer shocked by the trainers'' harsh methods. That in itself disgusted me, for I knew all of Preene had grown compliant to this way of life. I may have grown used to the workings of the fights, but I would never accept them. This was wrong. Whether they knew it or not, lycans were not mindless animals.

    It was Crimson Claw''s turn. His opponents faired better than Cerberus''s, but hardly. The lycan had already gained both weight and strength from a week of a proper diet. The others simply couldn''t compete, not with their weak, frail bodies.

    I wondered if their malnutrition was from ignorance, or if the trainers knew they couldn¡¯t control a lycan at full strength.

    Then came another, a lycan of nearly the same stature. Yet he was built thicker, wider. He reminded me of Thorn, though his coat was a scorched gray. Although he was clearly still underweight, I knew the moment the lycans collided he was the stronger.

    Crimson Claw fell back, only to immediately spring forth again. His claws buried in his opponent¡¯s fur, drawing blood from behind his ear before he was thrown away. The gray pounced upon him.

    Perhaps my lycan could take him were he at his prime. Maybe the gray would fall to him, were they wild-raised. But a week of good feeding couldn''t compare to this lycan, who had clearly taken better to the harsh environment than mine.

    Crimson Claw crashed into the arena wall. The crowd cheered. They certainly loved seeing a champion fall. I expected he would surrender. Surely the match was already decided.

    But he got up. My lycan rolled to his feet, showing his teeth in a silent snarl. His opponent bounded into him. The gray¡¯s fangs sunk into red chocolate fur. Crimson Claw''s jaw dropped in a soundless howl.

    The muscles of my own neck tensed, as if it were my flesh being bitten. Why wasn¡¯t he surrendering? I already told him he would never be whipped and he wouldn¡¯t be forced to fight.

    The gray secured his grip. He was going to kill him. I couldn''t let Crimson Claw die, not after he had returned to captivity to help me. No more lycans would die for me. I wouldn''t allow it.

    I twisted around in my seat. The officials were right above us. I clambered over the back of my chair, climbing across the two rows of seats separating us from the booth. My fingers clasped at the edge of the doorway. I pulled myself inside.

    "Stop the fight!" I cried.

    Eemeli turned, raising an eyebrow before speaking. "You''re doing this again? People won''t appreciate their show being cut short."

    "To hell with that!"

    The elder man sighed, glancing at the fighting lycans below. The gray''s grip had tightened. Thin red streams weaved their way down his jaw.

    "It would be unfortunate if your new lycan were to die." He pursed his pale lips. "Seems you''re a friend to the crown, I''ll grant you this favor. But I''ll expect one in return."

    "Anything," I panted. Crimson Claw had managed to push his opponent off, but it would only buy him moments more. "Just stop this!"

    The head trainer looked to the trumpeter. "Stop the fight."

    The small smirk that twisted the old man''s features promised trouble for me. I knew this, but didn''t care. I had to save my lycan.

    ***

    The click of the lock was louder to my ears than a lightning strike. The metal collar about my neck weighed more than a boulder on my shoulders. I glared up at the official''s booth from my place beneath a pole that had been hurriedly planted in the arena''s center. To do another demonstration of my training abilities was no matter, but I could do without the theatrics.

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    "So sorry for the interruption of that interesting fight, I know we all wanted to see if our new star would surrender or not," the official''s announcer called out, a big man with an even bigger voice. "But fear not! We have a special treat for you. Surely you have heard of the albino trainer''s special performance with a rogue lycan?" He paused, taking in a breath, before continuing his speech. "Well, here she is, ready to give us a show with an even more daring stunt than she has before!"

    The crowd cheered. Some of them may be genuinely excited for my success, but I wasn''t a fool. This was a blood sport. Most of my audience wanted to see me ripped to shreds.

    "You may be wondering about our girl''s predicament. As you may know, she is capable of taming a killer lycan without a whip or chains," the announcer explained. "So, today, she will be testing her skills while she is bound herself. What do you say? Will this mysterious albino trainer be eaten, or tame the wild beast we have brought her?"

    Wild beast? Those words held a bitter edge in my mind. There was something wrong with that. I thought back to Eemeli''s wicked smirk. Something was wrong.

    Then they opened the stall door. The animal that stepped through wasn''t a lycan.

    A grizzly. The bear shook its head, immediately bombarded with a shrieking roar of applause and cheers. It took off, loping a loop around the arena, pausing every few strides to test the wall. I frantically yanked at the chain connecting me to the pole. That failing, I kicked at the wood, hoping beyond all hope that it would fall.

    But it didn''t. Neither did the bear find escape. It turned, clearly agitated by the roar of the crowd. I froze, staring into black eyes. It chuffed, digging those long claws into the arena sand. I swallowed. The people above us shouted words of encouragement, both to me and the bear.

    Then the grizzly charged.

    I screamed.

    Wood shattered. A massive white form slammed into the bear, knocking it on its side. The grizzly stumbled to its feet, pivoting to face its newest adversity. The lycan stood up and roared his challenge. The bear did likewise.

    The people of Preene were silent. No one moved in the whole arena, all locked in the tension between the massive predators.

    Then they collided. Almost immediately, the bear''s heavy paw smacked the side of Cerberus''s face, knocking him to the sand. He got up just as quickly. The lycan leapt at it, attacking with renewed ferocity. They tumbled down, a mess of claws and teeth. It didn''t take long for red to stain fur and sand.

    The bear was almost a foot taller than Cerberus and built twice as thick. Its superior weight was proved over and over as it forced him to the ground. The lycan''s eyes were nearly closed, fighting against the glare of the sun. Deep lacerations soaked his fur with blood.

    Wild lycans didn''t fight bears. They avoided them, each preferring to leave the other be.

    Growls filled the air, now accompanied by the hollering of the crowd. They thought this was part of the show, a planned event conducted solely for their amusement. They loved the blood and gore. Its consequences meant nothing to them.

    The bear reared, pushing Cerberus backwards with a mighty shove. The creature pinned him down with its massive paw while the other swatted the side of his face. The lycan cried out as the skin of his jaw ripped open.

    "Cerberus!" I screamed.

    The grizzly''s lips curled back, preparing to deal the final blow.

    The alpha lycan lunged forward, grabbing the bear''s exposed throat. His paw-like hands caught its shoulders. Long teeth sunk into fur, then flesh. The bear''s strangled cry was cut off as its windpipe broke, flooding Cerberus''s face with blood. He snarled, flipping them over so he was on top of the creature. The muscles of his neck twisted and flexed under his thick coat as he shook his head. The bear''s throat was torn away and released in the same instant. It collided with the pit wall with a dull splat.

    The lycan stood, wavering as he turned to face me. He stumbled forward until he collided with the pole, using it to brace himself. His other hand curled about the chain. With a mighty yank, he pulled the thick staple from the wood.

    We stood there, me against the pole, him towering over me with my chain in hand. I stared into the unfocused crimson depths of his eyes. His whole face was the color.

    The lycan roared. I closed my eyes, turning my face away from both the sound and the blood which spattered over me. A mixture from both him and the bear dripped from his nose. Tears stung at my eyes. It physically hurt to see the extent he had been mauled, as if my heart was being crushed under my ribs. His jaw was missing large sections of fur, though it was impossible to discern the exact length or depth of the wound. The same went for his shoulder and side, where he had been hit or bitten. His breath rattled in his throat and I suspected he had broken at least a few ribs. I choked on my own breath as wetness rolled down to my chin.

    He swayed. His mouth opened, his tongue falling out. His eyes rolled upwards. Then, he collapsed.

    I fell beside him, screeching as I did so. My fingers buried into his thick fur as I released a shriek of pure, animalistic emotion before finally finding words.

    "Look at him!" I screamed out at the audience. "Save him! You''ve got to SAVE HIM!!!" My voice cracked as I pressed my face into Cerberus''s blood soaked chest. It rose and fell, though just barely. "You monsters!" I sobbed, "You have to save him..."

 Chapter 30: Hurt

    The wind blasted through the forest, bending the smaller trees in arcs that nearly touched the ground. I wrapped my arms around myself. It was not the weather I was shielding myself from; it was the pain. Not my own, but that of my lycan companion.

    The albino alpha had his arms wrapped around his midsection, shivering as though something as simple as the cold could affect him. His usually bright eyes were misted over. The tears that streamed down his snout mirrored my own.

    It was his whines that broke my control.

    I knew better than to approach during one of his sessions. The lycan himself had warned me many times. His irritation often overcame his senses.

    "Cerberus?" I whispered it, rocking forward on my knees and crawling toward him. Red irises focused on my own. A snarl rippled through him. I stopped. "Cerberus... can I help?"

    I could cry at the feral ache lingering in his gaze. The fur of his jaws was stained from the mountain goat he had caught, hastily devoured, then later vomited up. He was hardly able to keep any food down, a problem only compounded by his spells of extreme fatigue that left him unable to hunt.

    I attempted to gig fish for us during one such spell. The mountain river''s rocky banks proved too slippery. Somehow, he managed to pull me from the cold waters.

    He had lain on me that night, shivering and panting, just as he did now. My throat closed around words softly spoken. "Cerberus... I... I..." I wished I learned the herbs Rosie had used to treat my fevers and pains during my time at the castle. "Blood Eye..." I stepped forward.

    The lycan pounced. I didn''t struggle as I was thrown onto my back. A canine nose dragged across my exposed skin, absorbing shed tears on its dry surface. Tremors racked through his muscles. Shaking claws caught on my cheek. I lifted my head, allowing them to slip through my hair. Padded hands gripped my face.

    Fur pressed to my forehead. Whines echoed in my ears.

    "I''m sorry..."

    The lycan pulled away from my embrace. My stomach twisted in knots as he slunk to lay against a boulder, curling into the smallest ball possible for a creature of his size.

    "Cerberus..."

    "Leave me," he growled. I paused in my advance. His hard stare drove me back several steps.

    "I''m sorry," I whispered. "So sorry."

    ***

    My fingers combed through newly cleaned white fur. It was so thick and soft, just as it had always been, but now it was different. It smelt of a chemical clean, some sort of antibacterial soap which washed away all traces of his natural musk. Even the concrete around us stung my nose with the stench of bleach. The entire stable had been sanitized.

    Not that I smelt much better. I probably stank of rotting blood, the lycan''s, the bear''s, and my own where I had clenched my fists so tightly they bled.

    I glanced over to my other injured lycan. Crimson Claw had placed himself in the corner, head hung low, though the bandage prevented him from arching his neck.

    "It''s not your fault," I assured him quietly.

    I knew he would have argued with me if he had a voice. He seemed certain I blamed him, though I didn''t. The fault lay with many others, but not my loyal lycans.

    My eyes turned back to Cerberus. I studied his chest, focused on the steady rise and fall. I had to keep checking, to assure myself he was in fact merely sleeping. If I turned away, he might just pass on without my noticing. So I kept my gaze focused on him, as if that could keep him from dying.

    I had already thanked every old and new god I could think of that Preene was more medically advanced and better equipped to treat a lycan than Askance. I had been assured his injuries, though severe, were non fatal. But he lost so much blood that in itself could present a problem. He had to wake up.

    My heart ached. My head ached. My whole body was a mess with worry. Cerberus, my strongest and most loyal companion, lay bandaged beside me. My invincible, hellish guardian had almost been killed for my sake.

    The lycans had a habit of sacrificing all they had to give for me.

    I missed his eyes opening. I realized he was awake by the change of rhythm in his breathing. Cerberus''s tongue worked in his mouth a few times before he yawned. I could see the stiffness and reluctance in his muscles as he stretched. He pushed himself to a half upright position, slow eyes taking in the scenery and lycans around him.

    "We moved." His voice was hoarse and dry. He blinked a few times before sniffing the air.

    I was crying again. Relief slammed into my chest like a violent wave, filling me until I felt I might bust from it. I wanted to speak, but I couldn''t. Happiness had stolen my voice.

    The lycan took a moment, seeming to focus on fully awakening. He looked down, examining the bandages on his arm before reaching down to take them in his teeth.

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    "Don''t!" I put my hand on his jaw, stopping him from ripping them off. "You''ll reopen the wound. Leave them be."

    He stared at me, then released the cotton wrapping his arm. I wanted to hug him, but I knew he wouldn''t appreciate the gesture, not with fractured ribs. So I settled for shifting closer and patting the long fur of his neck.

    "They stitched you back together. It''s going to itch, but they said you''ll survive if you don''t get an infection." I pulled my hand back, wrapping my arms around myself as I turned away. "I''m sorry... about all this. I''m not going to fight you, any of you, anymore."

    A huff was his only reply, so I continued on.

    "I shouldn''t have made you fight in the first place. It was a stupid idea." My heart sunk low in my chest, resting somewhere above my liver. There were so many stones of guilt in my stomach now, if only I could use them to build a wall to block out the world.

    At first he didn''t speak. I wondered if he would ignore me and go back to sleep. Now that I was assured he would awaken, all I wanted was for him to rest. Then again, maybe he should eat first.

    "We''re leaving tomorrow."

    "What?" My head shot up. "Cerberus, we can''t. You need to heal."

    "I''ll be fine," he growled. "You''ve gotten yourself in trouble. You''d be a fool to stay."

    My hands tightened into fists. "I''ll be a fool then. You''re not leaving until a vet tells me you''re fit to fight again."

    "Someone wanted you dead!" he barked, flipping himself into all fours.

    "Stop it!" I cried. I frantically looked over his bandages. Thankfully, no red appeared. I frowned, standing to my feet as well. "You''ll die of infection if we leave. Stay and relax. I''ll be fine."

    Cerberus''s red eyes narrowed. "Don''t make the sacrifice of the wild lycans be for nothing."

    A pain stabbed me in the chest, as if one of the stones had suddenly jumped into my throat. "They won''t be," I bit out.

    "I''m alpha of this pack," he snarled, "and I say we leave this place tomorrow."

    I swallowed, steeling myself. "I hold the key to your chains, and I won''t let you go."

    The lycan lunged. I instinctively threw my hand out. His teeth caught around my forearm, piercing through the leather.

    I stared straight into his eyes. "No."

    His teeth pressed down, puncturing my skin. I buckled forward slightly, but I stood steady. My blood welled up around his canines, pooling in his mouth. I clamped my jaw. I didn''t waver, though in truth, I could have howled in pain. His powerful jaws were more than capable of crushing bone.

    "Do it," I growled. "I''ll still protect you, and I''ll still keep my promise to the wild lycans."

    We stayed like that, each staring into the other''s eyes in defiance until a voice interrupted our match of wills.

    "Desire!"

    I twisted around, looking back to see Cyrus in the doorway, eyes as large as plates. Cerberus reluctantly released my arm, slinking back to lean against the wall, his crimson stare glaring at us both.

    "It''s alright," I said, holding my injured arm close to my body. "He was just testing me, no big deal." He hadn''t bitten down that hard, just enough to make me bleed. It still stung horribly, though.

    "Right..." Cyrus murmured. He eyed us both before turning to trot up the stairs. "I had something I wanted to talk to you about."

    I nodded and jogged after him. I didn¡¯t dare glance back at my companion.

    We met at the top in the electric lit storage arena. "What is it?"

    "It just..." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Listen, the vet bills really bit into our savings and with both our top fighters out of commission, we won''t be able to make it back anytime soon."

    I gave a curt nod. "Okay, what do we do?"

    "Well, ah..." I could make out a slight reddening of his features. "I kind of figured we could cut our costs in half by only renting one room. Really, it was the only thing I could think of."

    I shrugged. "Fine by me."

    "Right. That''s good." He gave an uncertain smile before suddenly grabbing me about the shoulders, pulling me into a hug. His lips pressed against my forehead.

    I waited a second, processing the entire situation, then wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt the hesitance in his grip as he shifted, moving down lower, to my mouth. He was kissing me and it felt¡­ good. Thrilling and taboo. A taste of something forbidden to my former self. A moment later, he had my head pressed to his chest.

    "I''m sorry... about Cerberus, not about that..."

    "Thanks," I murmured, touching my mouth. A kiss untainted by my poison¡­

    "It''s, um, it''s pretty late. We should get back to the inn."

    I smiled against his leather jacket, something he had bought to match mine. I wasn''t that much of an idiot; I knew he was taking advantage of my emotional state. But I didn''t care. I needed the comfort he was offering. I wanted more.

    "Right," I said, mimicking one of his favorite words. "It''s late. Let''s go."

    ***

    Surely there wasn''t anything more consoling than the touch of human skin. Perhaps others may take it for granted, but not me. The heat of Cyrus''s bare chest soaking into mine was a reassuring comfort denied to me for most of my life. Surely, if other people had this, they could face whatever trials the world could throw them.

    I wasn''t happy. I was still far from joyful. But I no longer ached with worry. This, the human contact I had always craved, put me at peace.

    In truth, I felt a little guilty about finding comfort while Cerberus suffered alone, but it was just another pebble in the pit. Soon I would give everything for him. But I needed this first. I needed just this one night, a brief break in the height of chaos for myself. This was my time to be selfish.

    "Desire, you awake?" Cyrus murmured.

    "Yeah," I whispered back.

    "I''ve been thinking about what you said... it has to have been a few weeks ago now."

    "Yeah? What was it?"

    "You asked me what I thought about the lycan fights. At the time, I had never considered it... but now, I think they might be wrong."

    I pressed my forehead into his shoulder, gripping onto his strong arm. "Yeah. I think so too."

 Chapter 31: Proposal

    The sun was abhorrent. I never suspected I would think so, but I severely missed the thunderstorms of the mountains. I could always count on the weather to reflect my foul moods. In the mountains, it would be snowing by now, not pleasantly warming the crisp air.

    There were too many happy people wandering the streets. Even though I avoided the markets, they were everywhere. Laughing, playing, and generally enjoying the last few days before the snowfall.

    I wasn''t in a foul mood this morning. I had actually been quite content when I awoke, not happy, but comfortable and at peace. Against my better judgment, I had lain in the bed for some time, simply enjoying Cyrus''s company. It was difficult to leave the simple pleasure of another human''s presence. But I was worried for Cerberus''s health. So I dragged myself away from the one thing I craved to check on him.

    He took one sniff at my clothing and growled.

    So I had left, and been walking since. It had been hours, but I didn''t care. How could he be mad at me for looking after his best interests? I shivered. The cold soaked through my leather coat. I needed one with fur insulation. He always looked after my interests, fed me, protected me, did everything I asked of him, so why couldn''t he accept this one thing I could do in return? Someone was after me, but I wasn''t stupid enough to get myself trapped with a bear again. I''d be careful. I''d be fine. He almost died protecting me. I couldn''t let him actually die, not like the others.

    I wrapped my arms around myself, though it had nothing to do with the cold. The lycans sacrificed everything they had for me without a second thought. Why? Because their alpha ordered them too? Because they hated humans? Despite all I had thought about it, I couldn''t come up with a logical explanation.

    Just as I couldn''t come up with a logical explanation for Cerberus. Why did he continue to stay with me, even obey me when I had nothing left to give?

    Adrenaline shot through my veins. A face appeared inches from mine, the woman who had seized me about the shoulders. She was young. That was all I processed before I was yanked closer so that her frizzy curls pressed to my cheek.

    "I know you!"

    Momentary panic pierced my mind, freezing me in place. Preene had no communication with Askance; that was impossible.

    "You''re the albino trainer!"

    Relief. Of course. I was famous here too.

    "They''re coming for you. Let''s see you tame that lycan when he''s really free. You''ll end up just like Fandaris. Just wait until-"

    A pause, then a shove. I stumbled backwards. Just as suddenly as she appeared, the girl was gone, blended into the crowd.

    I blinked, just becoming aware of the fuss that was being made around me. People muttered and gathered on the side of the street. I glanced up, turning until I spotted the cause of the disturbance. A small troop of men, mostly soldiers, rode horseback from behind me. Near their center one particularly young man on a large white horse. Even without his fox mask, I recognized his brilliant red hair and mischievous features. He grinned as they rode closer, raising one arm to wave.

    "Desire!" Darrius called. He kicked his horse, breaking through his guards to trot over, stopping in front of me. "I''m so glad I ran into you. I quite enjoyed our talk at the party, I was really hoping we could have another."

    I forced a smile. Put on an act. Show only confidence. Stay in control. "Of course."

    Darrius grinned. He slipped his foot from the stirrup, leaning over to offer his hand. I took it, using the stirrup to help as he hefted me up onto the draft''s back. I settled myself behind the saddle. The horse was a lot higher and moved differently than Cerberus. Being the animal had a lot less fur than my usual lycan mount, I wrapped my arms around his waist. I could hear the smug satisfaction in his voice.

    "Never ridden before?"

    I eased my grip, relaxing into the creature''s movements. "Not a horse."

    "That''s right," he chuckled, "I heard you ride your albino. That''s a sight I am anxious to see."

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    The stones in my stomach turned. "I''m afraid you''ll have to wait a while. He... he didn''t fare so well in his last fight."

    "Against the bear?"

    I shifted to look up at the back of his head. "You heard about that already, then."

    "Yes, I did." His wavy hair danced around his ears. His tone had changed, it now held a more bitter, scolding edge. "That was quite the foolish stunt you insisted on. I don''t know what possessed you to want to take on a bear."

    Insisted on? I pursed my lips but didn''t remark. "Yeah, it was a bad idea."

    "Even still, I don''t know what Eemeli was thinking either, going along with all that. He could have at least let out the smaller one."

    "There was another?"

    The king glanced over his shoulder at me, a dubious expression lifting one eyebrow. "It does take two to fight."

    So they were going to have a bear fight, too. I hadn''t seen one yet, but I''d heard they were sometimes featured in the arenas, almost always sponsored by the royal family.

    "Right. Silly me, I guess I wasn''t thinking."

    We walked in silence for a minute, only the clinking of the soldiers'' armor and the people''s muttering filled the air, until I thought of another question.

    "So, where are we going?"

    Darrius sighed. "Nowhere in particular. I was just riding to clear my mind some."

    "Oh. Sorry to interrupt your thoughts, then."

    "No, no. Actually, you showing up helped me out a lot."

    "Really? How so?"

    The redhead paused, seeming to consider his words before answering. "You see, my family line is dangerously thin. My mother died in childbirth and my father... You know. If I were to die, there would be no clear ruler. I have three cousins equally qualified for the throne. But the old world was never any good at settling those things peacefully. I doubt this new one will be any better."

    I nodded against his back. I had read many accounts of countries with uncertain heirs. The wars could last years.

    "So my advising council has been... encouraging me to marry someone. More like demanding, really." He let out a bitter laugh. "As soon as possible. Yesterday is preferable."

    "So you need to find a noble lady you like?"

    This time, Darrius''s chuckle was more genuine. "This might be a kingdom, but it''s not the old world. There aren''t any dukes and duchesses in Preene. I can marry whomever I like. At this point, I think the council wouldn''t care if I married a street whore. They''ve been after me for over a year now."

    I frowned. Darrius was younger than me; a year ago he would have still been a kid. "And how exactly did I help with this?" Then it clicked.

    "Well, I might have been a little drunk at the masquerade, but I still think we got off well." He laughed again. "Really well. Anyway, I thought it''d make everyone happy if I offered you the chance to sit on a throne again."

    My head was so busy I forgot to hold on and nearly fell from the horse, just barely managing to save myself by the back of his coat. He was offering to make me a queen, to marry him? Immediately thoughts of the night previous sprung into my head. I would be giving up the possibility of that ever happening with Cyrus again.

    But I pushed those thoughts aside. That was one night. Our entire relationship was never meant to be permanent from the moment we met. I had to think logically. Without the fights, I no longer had a source of income. With winter practically upon us, and Cerberus injured as he was, I had no way of leaving Preene either.

    "But you barely know me."

    Darrius waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Doesn''t matter. For now, it''s purely political, a backup ruler. We can work the rest out later."

    I was backed in a corner, one that could easily turn desperate. I needed winter shelter, and if Cerberus got sick from his wounds, he would need all Preene had to offer to cure him. If I turned him down, I would be gambling with odds not in my favor.

    But if I accepted, I would be crushing Cyrus''s dream of being a top manager. Actually, I had already done that; he simply didn''t know it yet. Another stone to the pile. It hardly mattered anymore; there were so many of them.

    "Alright then, I accept."

    I had to take advantage of this situation. I would be the second most powerful person in Preene, a power I could use to protect my lycans and keep my promise. This was the right decision to make, despite how wrong it may feel.

    "Great!" Darrius grew three inches with just those few words. "Now, let''s go to the palace gardens so we can tell our kids I proposed somewhere much more romantic than the streets."

    This was the right thing to do. Decisions like this weren''t supposed to be easy. This was the only path I could take.

    ¡°By the way,¡± Darrius, my fianc¨¦, twisted around to look back at me, ¡°You haven''t happened to see a woman¡­ rounded face, dark, curly hair, have you? She''s a lycan sympathizer. Attacked a trainer the other day. Officially, I''m out here looking for her.¡±

    I shook my head before laying my cheek against his back. ¡°No, no one that I noticed.¡±

 Chapter 32: Murderer

    The metallic clink of chains echoed against the cement walls. I frowned, working yet another key out the collar''s lock. The next proved little more use. I let out a frustrated growl, turning around and holding up the key chain.

    "Could you be a dear and tell me which of these works?" I purred to the woman chained to the wall.

    She swallowed. "The last one."

    "Of course it is," I sighed, pushing the worn key into the hole. The lycan''s collars fell open. In a matter of seconds, both of them were free.

    I stood up, looking over her captives. Two cubs, a little over two years by the looks of them. She had probably just bought them a few months ago. Already, they bore a few lines of missing fur across their shoulders and backs.

    "Go out and run toward the moon. The others will have already taken care of the guards. Good luck."

    The cubs gave me a long stare, then ran up the stable ramp, disappearing into the night. That matter dealt with, I turned back to their trainer. "Don''t worry. One of the females will take them in. If not, they''re plenty big enough to hunt squirrels and bunnies."

    She didn''t reply, instead looking at me with the wide, frightened doe eyes I had come to expect. My leather soles squeaked against the smooth concrete as I knelt in front of the woman. She wasn''t too old, most likely in her mid twenties. Light chestnut hair hung to her shoulders. My whip hooked under her chin.

    "You probably never even got a chance to enter the arena, have you?"

    She hurriedly shook her head.

    "Good, because if you had, you''d be dying by this," I held up my whip, "and not this." I twirled my dagger in my other hand. "And my arm''s a little tired. You see, I''ve had a busy night, working out a little frustration in a..." I sighed, searching for the right words, "productive manner."

    ***

    The moon was bright, illuminating the street as I stepped out of the stable. It had been difficult, getting the trainers without a lycan to back me up. But, as usual, it wasn''t anything a little acting couldn''t take care of. Humans were such pitiful creatures.

    I still wasn''t entirely confident with my decision, but my nighttime activities had provided me with a sense of accomplishment, which helped ease the discomfort. They had also given me a chance to think, to formulate a plan that would allow me to care for Cerberus and accomplish my goal. In truth, it wasn''t my decision itself that troubled me; it was the friendship I would be breaking.

    "Desire?"

    I spun around, at first convinced the voice was of my own imagination. Yet, there he was, bundled in his own leather coat and winter boots.

    "Cyrus? What are you doing here?"

    "Looking for you, of course," he huffed, trotting to me and throwing his arms around my shoulders, pulling me tight against him. "You''ve been gone all day. Is something... wrong?" He stepped back, staring at the clotted liquid streaking his hands. "What? What is this?" He sniffed at it. "Is this... blood?"

    "Um..."

    My manager''s eyes flicked from me back to the stables. Bloody prints from those I had freed littered the street. I knew the instant he figured it out by the ice water pumping through my veins. My heart twisted into a knot, along with just about every other organ inside me.

    "You... you''re the one letting them free?" The way he looked at me, so sad and betrayed, I would have rather he stabbed me in the gut. "You''re a murderer?"

    I hated his overly expressive features. Why couldn''t he be cold and hateful like everyone else? "I was hoping to keep them looking like localized accidents. Forgetful trainers with lycans getting loose-" I started to explain, though I didn''t know why. There wasn''t anything I could possibly say that would make this look any better.

    "I grew up in Cicil, I know the locals. A few escapes a year is normal. But this many, people start to wonder. After a dozen, I think we all figured something was up." His tone held a bitter edge, but still not anger.

    It would have been so much easier if he was angry, because then I could have been angry too, instead of this horrible guilt. There were far too many stones in my stomach now; I didn''t know how much longer I could stand under their crushing weight.

    "I should have known," he scolded himself, rather than me. "You disappear almost every night. I knew there was something wrong with you the moment we met. But I thought..." He clenched his fists, grinding his teeth together. "I really thought you were getting better."

    "I am getting better!" I hissed. "This, it heals me!"

    "Really? Because it looks to me like you''re more unstable than ever."

    I reached up, hurriedly wiping the tears from my eyes, though I had no doubt I was just smearing red over my face. "It doesn''t matter. You said so yourself, lycan training is wrong! These people deserved this!"

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    "No! They didn''t!" We were both shouting now. "No one deserves to die!"

    "You don''t even understand! You can''t understand! You have no idea what it''s like!" I wiped my face again, but it was no use. I was only making matters worse.

    Cyrus stepped forward. I scrambled back, pulling out my dagger and pointing it at him.

    "Don''t! You stay back!"

    He took a few more steps toward me, hands held in a defensive position. "Desire, you need to stop this. Turn yourself in. You''ll be treated fairly."

    "Fairly?" Bile rose in my throat at the thought. "I know what ''fairly'' means to those in power! I''m not going to be put back there by someone who doesn''t even understand!" I lunged at him, dagger pointed to his chest.

    In a movement much too fluid to be instinctual, Cyrus twisted my wrist away, causing me to drop my weapon. I cried out, raking the nails across his face. He flinched back. His grip loosened enough for me to wriggle free.

    Adrenaline surged through my body as I stumbled away. I tripped over mounds of trash left on the street corner before falling against a wall. My hands frantically searched the area for something that could be of use, though I dared not take my eyes off my adversary. Cyrus was much stronger, I couldn''t let him get his hands on me again.

    "Desire, you need to calm down. It''s going to be okay."

    My fingers closed around a cold cylinder. I ran forward. My leg kicked up, kneeing him between the legs. I swung the metal pipe around. It made contact with his temple with a dull cluck. The man dropped to the ground, groaning in pain.

    "How''s that for fair?" I hissed, kneeling to scoop up my dagger before taking off down the street.

    My feet pounded on the packed dirt. I wasn''t proud of how I attacked Cyrus, but if there was one thing Cerberus had taught me, it was hit fast, never hesitate, and always go for the throat. Regardless of who your opponent was. Even if he was your beta, or your friend.

    He didn''t understand. I knew he couldn''t possibly comprehend my reasoning. That didn''t help with the dull ache in my chest or stinging of my eyes. It didn''t stop the memory of a man I had known before, the first human I had a connection with, screaming that he hated me. I knew how bad this must look, how bad it really was. But that hadn''t helped the heartbreak then, nor did it ease the blow of this one now.

    I scrubbed my eyes with my arm. I couldn''t waste time being upset. I needed to concentrate, to get back to the inn and my lycans. Cerberus may be too injured, but River and Crimson Claw could hold their own against one human. We''d figure out what to do from there.

    I stopped, looking around. Everything had changed now that it was night. Nothing was familiar to me. I had no idea which way to go.

    "Just stop running." I spooked sideways, head snapping to see Cyrus jog from a side street, hand pressed to his bleeding temple. "Don''t make this harder for the both of us."

    I wanted to check his head, to see the wound I had inflicted. If it were anyone else, I wouldn''t have cared. But I couldn''t, not now. So I took off running again, running as fast as I could from problems I couldn''t face.

    Just like I always did.

    "I thought you had compassion!"

    I gritted my teeth. I did have compassion, that''s why I was doing this. It was my empathy for the lycans that drove me to free them. I was keeping a promise. I did have compassion, just not for the trainers.

    My chest began to hurt, not just from emotion anymore. I wasn''t used to running this long. The strain was quickly catching up with my body, and I feared Cyrus would as well. Adrenaline would only fuel my feet for so long, and I still didn''t know which way to go.

    I wasn''t going to make it back to the inn.

    I panted, eyes darting around for something, anything familiar. Or a place to hide. Or an escape route. Anything at all. I couldn''t afford to get caught. They''d sell Cerberus to the highest bidder and hang me.

    Or lock me in a cell.

    My blood ran cold. That couldn''t happen. I had to push, to run harder, faster. I had to surpass my body''s limitations. I couldn''t stop. I couldn''t be caught.

    The distinctive clink of moving armor caught my attention. I paused for the briefest of moments, seeking out the direction the sound came from.

    To my left.

    I didn''t think. I turned, bounding down the street with the last bit of energy left in my limbs. Push harder, faster. I could hear them, a small troop, rushing towards me.

    I saw them rounding the corner and jogging my way. I didn''t stop. I kept running, pushing myself that last little way until I crashed into the lead soldier''s chest.

    "What the-?"

    "You have to help me!" I cried, grabbing into the plates covering the guard''s shoulders. "There''s a man after me! He tried grabbing me and I hit him but he''s still coming-!"

    By now, the others had gathered around. My mind bounced back and forth between the terror of being trapped and the urgency to escape. But I couldn''t let that affect me.

    "You''re covered in blood!"

    "I-I carry a knife... for protection..." I fumbled with my dagger. The handle slipped from my grasp, falling in the dirt. I let out a nervous laugh as I bent over to pick it up. "I think I cut him... I don''t know... It happened so quickly." Tears were streaming down my face. I tried tucking my dagger back in its sheath. It took my shaking hands several times.

    "I know her," one of the soldiers suddenly remarked. "This woman, as of this morning, is Queen Betrothed."

    The tension in my muscles eased. He must have been one of the guards on our ride. I could have laughed from relief.

    "What?" The one holding me glanced down. I nodded my confirmation. "I haven''t heard of this."

    "It hasn''t been announced yet," the soldier from this morning explained. "Regardless, we need to bring her to the king. It would be treason not to."

    "It''s true," I said.

    The first guard glanced between the two of us. He let out a great sigh. "Fine. Let''s go." He turned me around, leading me by the shoulders the way they had come. The others fell in position around us.

    I twisted, momentarily looking to the street I ran from. My heart still pounded from the exertion. There was no one there, though my mind insisted there was.

    I was being paranoid.

    "My lycans," I muttered. "I need to get my lycans..."

    "We''ll work that out after your meeting with the king."

    "Right... Okay."

 Chapter 33: Eemeli

    Red eyes burned into me. I shrank away from their intensity. That message, the one that was always there, screamed its wordless meaning at me. I couldn''t look at it, not while they secured cuffs and chains around his body.

    Darrius wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side. Cerberus gave a low, somewhat halfhearted snarl. "I''m surprised you had us sedate him. I was under the impression your albino was the paramount of obedience."

    "He is," I murmured. "His injuries are just making him... temperamental." The lycan growled again at that.

    The redheaded king rubbed my shoulder in a comforting sort of manner, not that I paid much mind to it. "You know best. What matters now is you''re safe. The palace is surrounded by guards. No one''s going to be able to hurt you here."

    I nodded. "Thank you. Sorry to trouble you with this."

    "It''s no issue." He leaned over to look in my eyes. "Are you sure you didn''t recognize your attacker? He wasn''t a rival trainer or someone?"

    I shook my head, avoiding his gaze. "No... I didn''t know him."

    It was me he didn''t know.

    Darrius studied me, then pulled me close, pressing a kiss to my forehead. It reminded me far too painfully of Cyrus. "Well, I doubt any of us are going to sleep now. Let''s get you something to eat and a drink to calm your nerves."

    He turned me away. I followed his guidance, far too numb from stress and panic to resist.

    "I''m sorry," I whispered to the drooping lycan. His ears twitched, and I knew he heard. He growled, but it lacked its usual threatening edge. The sound was far closer to a groan of defeat.

    ***

    My eyes were dry. My limbs were heavy with the weight of the day. My head hurt from the mass of thoughts that had rushed through. There weren''t any thoughts now though. The flood had passed, leaving a dry riverbed in its wake. My heart was similarly numb. I had been feeling so much in the past few hours, I simply couldn''t feel anymore. Now, with the sun just starting to set, I was finally done with the world enough to rest.

    The royal palace had spared no expense in the tiniest of details. The furniture of my suite was all finely carved with gold inlays. The curtains were a heavy canvas to keep out the cooling weather while the bedsheets were vividly dyed silk. My robe was a similar material and flowed against my skin as I lay down against the goose feather pillows.

    I fell asleep almost immediately.

    The room had gone dark when the click of the door opening woke me. My sleep fogged brain tried to process why someone would enter my suite, or even how they would enter. I had locked the door.

    The sound of footsteps awoke my tired body with a shot of adrenaline. I sat up, eyes adjusting to the little light leaking in from the moonlit hallway.

    I recognized the vague silluette''s cautious gait as he made his way towards me, though it was only when he spoke that I was able to put a name to the form. "So you''re awake. I thought nothing would wake you after the day you''ve had."

    Mazon Eemeli, the head trainer.

    "I know why you''re here," I said in a clear, level voice, though my heart raced in my chest. "I figured you would want to finish what you failed the first time."

    The elder man gave a short nod. "You''re not a stupid girl, which is why I can''t let you become queen."

    "Why? Because I know the secrets about the lycans, or because you''re afraid I''ll tattle on you?"

    "Both." He stopped at the side of my bed, staring down at me. This close, I could start to make out some of his features, his crooked nose, and the deep wrinkles framing his eyes. "The training industry depends on the masses believing the lycans are mindless beasts. Preene''s economy could collapse and politics certainly would. Normally I wouldn''t bother with just one girl, but the king seems to have become obsessed with you lately. Of course, I figured out your little secret, how you control the lycans and people." The whites of his eyes reflected the low light. "You''re one of those living drugs, a poisonous person."

    I stood up. We were so close my nose brushed against his. "I''m cured."

    Eemeli laughed. "Blood and death follow you everywhere. You''re a child of the apocalypse. There''s no curing that." Cool metal touched my collar.

    I shoved him, hard. A sharp sting shot up my neck. The elder man stumbled back, dropping the knife. I kicked him in the leg. He fell against the wood floor. The old man let out a breathless cackle as I straddled him, pinning him down.

    "You''ve done this before."

    "Usually it''s not so personal," I hissed, wrapping my fingers around his throat.

    "You''re such a terrible liar," he chuckled. "You''ve got a personal vendetta against the world."

    I shoved down and squeezed. "So what if I do? You''re top of my list."

    He didn''t fight back. He just kept up with that horrible, breathless cackling. Even as he gasped for air and choked on his laughter, he didn''t stop. I couldn''t stand it. I squeezed harder, pushing all my weight down on his throat. Yet he continued. He laughed and choked and gasped.

    Then he stopped. But I continued. I stayed as I was, still pushing and squeezing, until his body relaxed and I was certain it would never breathe again.

    I got unsteadily to my feet, touching the side of my own neck. The scratch was shallow, just enough to break skin. I couldn''t stay here, not with the head trainer''s corpse and his words whispering in the air. I couldn''t sleep in that bed. I couldn''t stand being tangled in the sheets. I couldn''t be alone.

    I strode out the open door. There were no guards. There were supposed to be guards. But I didn''t care. I couldn''t care. I was too numb to care.

    I jogged down the hallway, encountering no resistance as I made my way out the palace doors. There were guards outside, but they offered no opposition as I paced through the gardens to the stables. I descended down the cement ramp into the dark confines.

    Those beautiful red eyes greeted me. They shone, even in the low light, seeming to have a brightness of their own. His white fur glowed in the darkness like some sort of spirit. I let out a sigh and ran to the lycan.

    He caught me in his paw-like hands. His furred arms, always so strong, wrapped around my shoulders. The chemical smell had faded from his pelt, replaced by his usual canine musky scent, though it lacked the forest flavors that accompanied it. I didn''t mind. Just the smell of his coat alone was enough for me. I just needed my hellhound by my side.

    "It''s too much..." I gasped into his chest. The air had left my lungs. I was being strangled by my numbness. The stones still pressed down in my gut, but I no longer felt their sharp edges. My world had faded to shades of gray. All I could truly feel was a sense of quiet desperation. It wrapped around my chest, squeezing, crushing, yet not inflicting true pain.

    Cerberus was silent for a while. He simply stayed there, allowing me to tangle my fingers in his thick fur and bury my nose to his skin.

    Then his grip tightened. I pulled back, looking up at the specter-like face that hovered above mine, intense eyes burning into me. There was that message again, now desperate to be understood. They begged for me to see their meaning, to hear the words they couldn''t speak. But I still couldn''t, no matter how much I wanted to.

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    "Please... Just tell me..."

    He let out a small whine. His paws pressed into my shoulders, pushing me down. Confused, I laid back on the cool concrete. Hot breath flowed over my face as the massive lycan moved over me. The tip of his damp nose skimmed along my neck, tracing the cut of Eemeli¡¯s¡¯s knife. Tendrils of saliva touched my skin as he opened his mouth. Long canines dragged up my jugular. They pressed to the flesh above my collar where the laceration began.

    "Cerberus!"

    His head jerked back at my scolding tone. His teeth caught on my skin, ripping it slightly. I felt wetness gather on my neck and run down my shoulder. The lycan gave another quiet whine as he leaned down again. His whiskers brushed against my cheek.

    "Cerberus, what are you doing?" I pushed against his arms. "Stop... Stop.¡±

    The skin of my neck stung as a wet appendage slid up my wounds, collecting my blood on its textured surface. My nails dug into his biceps. His whines echoed in my ears, accompanying my quiet hiss. His weight held me still as he continued to lap at my wound.

    "Blood Eye. Cerberus..." I felt the tears streaming down my face. His tongue was opening the cut more than cleaning it. Teeth pinched the skin, sending a jolt of pain through my neck and arm. "It hurts, stop!"

    Jaws clicked shut. The lycan lifted his face. He was breathing hard. His lower jaw was stained with light streaks of red. The albino was shaking, a slight trembling I could feel through the pads of his paws. His eyes, so fascinatingly crimson, rolled back in their sockets.

    He collapsed.

    "Cerberus! Cerberus!" I cried out, grasping at the unconscious lycan. His full weight pressed into my chest, making it hard to breathe. Concerned whines came from somewhere beside us, doubtless from River and Crimson Claw. But I paid them no mind. "Cerberus! Please Cerberus! Cerberus, wake up!"

    I started screaming. Panic flooded my senses. It invaded the numbness, breaking barriers like a tsunami against a seawall. I hurriedly looked over every bandage I could see. None showed any redness, but the majority were hidden from my sight.

    "Someone help! Please! My lycan needs help! Someone! Please!"

    No one can hear you scream in a lycan stable. I knew that better than anyone. I screamed and screamed until my voice became hoarse and sore. No one answered my call.

    "Please Cerberus," I cried, fighting against both my tears and the pain in my throat. "Please wake up Cerberus, you have to wake up..."

    But my pleas went unanswered.

    ***

    I woke up to the cold seeping into my skin. My back was stiff from sleeping on the cement floor. I pushed myself up, slowly reaching to touch the side of my neck. Dried blood cracked under my fingertips. The remains of tears stiffened my cheeks. My night robe flowed over my limbs, letting the chilled air to my skin. My arms prickled in protest to the frozen atmosphere that had previously been warmed by the massive animal passed out on top of me.

    I glanced around. My eyes found River and Crimson Claw a little ways to my left, both laying down, though they were awake. Their gazes lead me to the creature I was looking for, his back to me, his forehead pressed to the wall.

    "Cerberus?"

    The lycan responded with a pitiful whine. I rolled onto my knees. My joints complained at the movement, but I continued on anyway, dragging my brittle body across the few feet necessary to reach him. My arms wrapped around his thick mane. I draped myself across his shoulder. After a moment, he relented, allowing me to pull his face to my chest and hug his wolfish head.

    "Are you okay?" I whispered into the space between his ears, "Tell me what¡¯s wrong." I didn¡¯t see any red on him. That didn¡¯t mean much. Had the vets missed an internal injury?

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    That was a lie. My throat closed. He never lied to me. I gritted my teeth as I held him close. I needed my hellhound. I wasn''t sure how much more I could take. Facing the trials in Preene on my own was more than I could bear. I was exhausted. I just wanted to leave, to run off into the forest, dig a den, and sleep. But I couldn''t, not yet.

    If Cerberus wasn¡¯t recovering, he would never survive in the wild. That thought kept me here more than anything else. My promise paled in comparison.

    I needed Cerberus''s strength. To see the mighty alpha with his head hung low brought me to the edge of despair. I could be crushed by the mountains I carried in my heart.

    But I hadn''t lost him yet. So long as Cerberus stayed by my side, I could fight through. Even if I had to crawl to the finish, I would. Even if I lost everything else, so long as I had Cerberus, I could make it.

    He was the only one I truly had.

    I didn''t move for a long time. Or it could have been a short time, but it felt like eons to me. I held my guardian¡¯s head close to my heart until my limbs were trembling. Even then I would have held him longer, had my lycan not pulled away, looking down upon me. That message, it was begging, pleading now. Why couldn''t I find its meaning?

    "Go," he huffed.

    "Cerberus..." I whispered. He must have sensed my intention, judging by his change in demeanor.

    "Go." This time he added a hint of a growl to his tone. "Warm yourself."

    I stood. My entire form was sore from sleep and the cold. I studied the lycan, taking in his hunched form and tail tucked close to his side, before turning my back on him. Another stone in the pile.

    "I''ll send some food. You should eat... all of you... to stay warm." I said, then ran up the cement ramp into the gardens. I needed a vet to look at Cerberus again; I would summon one once he¡¯d calmed. I could only hope he¡¯d cooperate.

    It hadn''t snowed, but the world outside was frozen. My footsteps crunched on the stiff grass as I jogged my way to the palace.

    Once I stepped into the hallway, I stopped. My shoulders relaxed as the warmth enveloped me. I hadn''t realized how cold I truly was. I knew the way back to my suite, but I didn''t want to go there, so I settled for wandering the hallways. As much as I wanted to wake every vet and doctor in the city, I forced myself to give him time.

    Anxiety knotted in my chest. I hoped I wasn¡¯t making a mistake.

    I found Darrius near a balcony on the second floor, admiring the sunrise through the glass doors. The reds and oranges of the sky reflected gold in streaks of his hair. I forced a smile as I stepped beside him. He was quite handsome, in a mischievous, freckled sort of way.

    "Hey," I said as a way of greeting.

    The king picked up his head, half turning my way. "Hey, you''re up early." His eyes scanned over me, his brow furrowing in concern. "You¡¯re freezing. Your fingers are all red."

    "Yeah..." I sighed. "I suppose no one''s been to wake me yet, seeing as the alarm hasn''t been sounded."

    Darrius raised his eyebrows. "Why do you say that?"

    "I-" I hesitated, choosing my words carefully, "The head trainer came to my room last night. He tried to kill me, but I got the better of him. I''ve spent most of the night in the stable." I could bear it no more. I felt my resolve shatter, though I managed to reduce my outward reaction to a sharp breath. ¡°My lycan collapsed! He needs a vet.¡±

    Darrius stared down, features blank from my sudden shift in tone. He continued to look my way, even as he called a hidden guard. Once the man left, the king turned back to me.

    ¡°Eemelli?¡±

    I nodded.

    "No... I don''t believe it," the king said, though I could tell by his injured expression he did.

    "It''s true. It''s not the first time either... the bear... I didn''t insist on that. Eemeli insisted I do another training demonstration. He didn''t tell me I was going to be against a bear."

    "I can''t believe it," Darrius sighed. He pressed his forehead against the frosted glass. "I''ve known him for years. He''s always been power hungry, but this... is an extreme."

    "He told me he thought I would turn the public against lycan fighting."

    Darrius glanced my way. "Why''s that?"

    "Because I know they can talk."

    "Right..." He went back to pressing his forehead on the glass. "You wouldn''t, would you?"

    "Of course not."

    "I know that. I know we haven''t known each other long, but I know you''re a good person. I can sense it. That''s why I wanted you as my queen."

    I ignored the twinge in my gut. "Speaking of which-" I stepped closer, pressing my shoulder against his. It was hard to concentrate with thoughts of Cerberus plaguing my mind. I pushed them away. ¡°That''s what I think this is really about. Maybe if we just get married soon, with a small ceremony, things will settle down."

    He turned those gleaming green eyes on me. "Is that what you want? A small ceremony in a few days?"

    I nodded. "Very much so."

    "Then so it shall be." He reached out, embracing me in his arms. The king was tall enough to comfortably set his chin on my head. "Anything for my queen. This seems sudden, but I really think we''ll fall in love."

    "So do I."

    Mazon Eemeli was wrong. I didn''t need my poison to control people. I was cured.

 Chapter 34: Preparation

    The gardens were lit with lights from the palace along with a few torches spread throughout. Somewhere among the hedges and rose mazes were River and Crimson Claw, sniffing out squirrels. It broke my heart to know they were learning to hunt as cubs, despite being fully grown. Cerberus stayed by my side, both too injured to hunt and too proud to chase anything less challenging than a rabbit.

    The vet concluded he was healing well, and had most likely collapsed from blood loss. Lycans were hardy creatures, difficult to injure and even more so to keep down. Perhaps such inspired the old world''s legends of the super healing abilities of the werewolves. That didn¡¯t stop me from worrying, though. I couldn¡¯t help but feel there was something else, something my companion knew but refused to tell me.

    Cerberus picked up his head, alerting me to the nearby presence. When he stood, I knew it wasn''t a lycan he sensed. I followed his eyes to the human man standing on the edge of the gardens.

    "So, you''re betrothed to the king?" Cyrus said, leaning back against a tree. His stance brought forth the image of Brennon, propped against my chamber door, challenging me to release Cerberus on him. Just as before, I placed my hand on the lycan''s chest and felt his growl through my fingertips. "You never mentioned when this happened. Was it at the masquerade, or were you a runaway bride when I met you?"

    I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Cerberus was here with me now, and my other lycans were a shout away. "How did you get here? The palace is guarded."

    My former manager shrugged. "It isn''t the first time I''ve snuck in. You could say it used to be a habit of mine. But really, what I''m more interested in is if your hubby knows about your nighttime hobbies."

    I gritted my teeth. "You don''t understand anything."

    "Why''s that?"

    "Because you don''t know what I do."

    Cyrus frowned. "And if I did, would I be like you?"

    I paused. Could anyone be like me? If someone else had been born with my curse and lived the life that I had, would they have made the same choices? "I don''t know."

    "Tell me then, if you think that justifies your actions."

    I sighed. Simply telling him could never convey the horror of the experience. He couldn''t possibly have any concept of what it was truly like to be held captive unless he experienced it for himself. But then again, telling him was the closest he could come. I would never wish that life on anyone.

    But first, he needed to understand the ones who lived it.

    "I was banished from Askance to the Lycan Mountains to die." I began, watching his reaction as I spoke. "I didn''t just tame the wild lycans. I lived with them close to three years."

    Cyrus crossed his arms, still glaring at me. It seemed the anger had finally worked its way to the surface. "How is that supposed to excuse what you''ve done?"

    "I learned a lot about them, more than most people would care to know." He wasn''t comprehending yet, but at least he was listening. "Lycans are just as intelligent and sentient as humans."

    He snorted. "That''s a stretch."

    "Cyrus, they don''t cut lycans to keep them from calling. They cut them so they can''t speak."

    The man hesitated on his next words. His eyes scanned over me, searching for some sign of deception. Finding none, he switched his gaze to my guardian. "I''ve never heard Cerberus talk," he said slowly.

    The alpha lycan tipped his head. His vibrant eyes rested on the man before him. I wondered what he was thinking. His stance was relaxed, not at all aggressive. "I¡¯m not often in the mood."

    The man''s jaw dropped. I couldn''t help the smallest of smiles that tugged at my lips. Always so expressive. It didn''t last long, though. Those endearing traits only made everything harder. I had to choose what I truly wanted, a choice I already made. Cyrus was someone I had to sacrifice.

    "The mountain lycans died defending me in a war I started. It''s likely there are no wild lycans, save Cerberus. Freeing their cousins in Preene is the only way I can repay that debt." That was my goal, the purpose for which I had come to Cicil and entered the fights. I couldn''t let selfish wants get in the way of that. My own desires were what killed them in the first place. Now I carried them within me, a heavy sack of rocks I was too weary to carry much further. "I''m not asking for your forgiveness, only that you understand."

    His eyes switched from the alpha lycan to me, back and forth until they finally settled on my face. My heart twisted in knots. I wasn''t supposed to get attached anymore. I thought I had learned my lesson with Brennon. No one could love me, because I was sick and evil. I tried so very hard for so long, but ultimately I had found I couldn''t keep morals and attachments without suffering myself. I knew that, yet here I was, making all the same mistakes all over again.

    The man closed his eyes. "I don''t know if I can ever understand you."

    Then he left. Cyrus swung up onto the tree''s lower branches, using them to launch himself over the hedge wall. From there, I couldn''t track his movements. I didn''t want to. It was better this way, that he simply disappeared into the night like a ghost, as if he had never really been there at all.

    ***

    People swarmed around me like insects, each tending to some aspect of the room''s appearance. Maids smoothed bright blue sheets over a thick mattress while gardeners wove flowering vines up the bedposts. The entire royal suite was filled with a floral, sweet scent.

    The maids paused in their work to bow to the approaching king. Darrius nodded in return before turning his attention on me. "All this is perfect, but I wonder where I''m going to sleep tonight." He shot me one of his foxish smirks I had become very familiar with the past few days. "Perhaps you have room for me in your chambers."

    I gave a small snort. "Anxious are we?"

    My fianc¨¦e responded by looking me up and down. "Can you blame me?"

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    "Well, you''re going to have to wait," I teased. "It''d be bad luck."

    Darrius gave a playfully crooked frown. "Seems more bad luck for me not to." I laughed at that. His expression changed to a more genuine smile. "You seem to have cheered up. I''m glad, I was worried with how stressed you seemed the past few days."

    I shrugged. "Can you blame me? Anyway, I figured it was time to stop moping about. We¡¯re going to have a fairytale wedding tomorrow. I should be happy."

    I had made my choices. The pieces had been set in place. It was almost time for my final play. I gathered my remaining energy and determination and was ready to push to the end. The last turn would decide who won and who lost; I couldn''t afford to distract myself with sentimental emotions. I had a promise to keep.

    "That''s good. Though," Darrius glanced at the animal beside me, "if you feel unsafe, I could have armed guards assigned to you."

    My fingers sought out the silver fur between River''s ears. "But I don''t feel unsafe, not with my guard dogs, so you needn''t bother."

    The king shook his head, stepping closer to embrace me. "I already love how independent you are. Even when you''re scared, you carry the demeanor of someone who could conquer the world in an evening."

    "Well, I might need a day or two to conquer the whole world."

    He laughed, then bent down to kiss my lips. I pressed my hand to his chest, stopping him an inch from my mouth.

    "Bad luck, remember?" I reminded him with a smirk.

    The king stepped back, throwing his head back in mock exasperation. "Not even a kiss? I''m not sure I''m going to make it till tomorrow! What about a walk? Can I at least have that, or will that be ''bad luck'' too?"

    Something about his words, that teasing humor, was familiar.

    Cyrus. How many times had I laughed with my manager at some inn in some town or another? I¡¯d been so focused on my goal, I¡¯d hardly noticed it at the time. Now, I fought the sharp regret of loss, desperately trying to keep it from showing on my face.

    I rolled my eyes, hiding my inner torment. ¡°No, a walk will be fine. Come River." The lycan stood up, following me out the door. Just outside the room, Cerberus and Crimson Claw waited where I had determined their larger forms wouldn''t be so much of an obstruction. "I''ll meet you outside," I called back to Darrius. "Just let me get my coat."

    ***

    The royal palace was situated near the edge of the city, so that one edge of the gardens pressed up against the wild forests of Preene. The city walls weren''t solid stone here, instead, they were comprised of decorated iron bars. I could tell wild lycans had never been a problem near Cicil, otherwise they wouldn''t rely on an obstacle the canines could so easily scale. I wondered if this was where Cyrus had gotten in.

    It still hadn''t snowed. Quite usual for this time of year in Askance, but then again, Preene''s weather thus far seemed more mild. Even so, I was glad the cold weather allowed me to wear gloves without question. The familiar comfort of their protection made me feel more at ease as I walked hand in hand with Darrius through the frosted grounds.

    "How did the fitting go?"

    "Excellent," I sighed, drawing myself from my own thoughts, "Just a few alterations. Your mother''s dress is beautiful."

    "Yeah. I wish I could have known her." Darrius paused, taking a moment to admire the craftsmanship of a bouquet of iron roses climbing  up the gate before continuing on, "But I did know my father, and he would have loved you. He would have been so happy about us being together, I''m sure he would have celebrated with a hunt. He always loved hunting..." The king laughed. "Seems even when I''m not drunk I feel the need to tell you everything."

    "That''s okay," I said, adjusting my grip from his hand to his arm, "I would have loved to meet him too."

    Our attention was drawn by Cerberus standing up, shortly followed by River and Crimson Claw. We followed their gazes to a crook in the path between hedges.

    "Someone''s coming," I murmured.

    Darrius nodded. "It''s truly remarkable how much control you have. I heard some of the staff complain about them being loose in the castle, but really, they seem no more dangerous than a well behaved dog around you." The tall redhead looked down at me, "They have yet to so much as knock over a pot. How do you do it?"

    "Other trainers rely on fear. I rely on respect." I answered simply.

    A palace guard rounded the corner, his blue ruffled collar bouncing around his neck as he jogged to us. To his credit, he only gave Cerberus a brief terrified glance before delivering his message. "Your Majesty, the council requests your presence. They require your approval on the terms of your upcoming marriage."

    The king turned to me, "Do you want to look over the papers before I sign them?"

    "No," I shook my head, then smiled, "We already talked about it, I trust you to take care of my interests. The whole point of this was to name me as your heir, right?"

    Darrius mirrored my expression. His sheepskin clad fingers combed through my dark hair. "Well, not the whole point of it."

    "I''d like to stay outside a little longer and enjoy the fresh air."

    The king gave a nod of approval. The messenger guard led him back down the path. I waited until they had disappeared for a few minutes before I faced Cerberus.

    "I need to see the others."

    "Get on," he said, kneeling down.

    I frowned. "You''re too injured to carry me."

    "I''m fine," he huffed.

    I was about to reply when a light force tapped my hip. I glanced over, seeing Crimson Claw mimicking Cerberus''s position. The chocolate male dipped his head down in invitation.

    "Thank you," I said, swinging onto his back. It felt odd, he was both shorter and more slender than my usual mount. Even so, he didn''t seem to have a problem baring my weight. "Let''s go."

    Cerberus paused, glaring at us with an unreadable expression before turning and leaping into the bars. Crimson Claw followed his lead, pulling the two of us up and over before jumping down. River wasn''t far behind. The lycans immediately took off into the forest.

    It was while we were bounding over a frozen stream that I realized I had never ridden another lycan besides Cerberus. I never needed to, for the albino alpha was always by my side and as the largest, the most obvious and capable choice. He must have found it just as odd, judging by the occasional glances he kept throwing back at us. I could feel the difference in Crimson Claw''s gait, the way his front paws landed just a little bit more heavily and the stiffness in his movements. Years of being confined hadn''t done well for his structural development.

    We had run quite a ways when Cerberus finally decided to stop. By then both my captive born lycans were panting from the run. Their wild alpha wasn''t so adversely affected, and wasted no time in letting out a long, loud howl.

    They may have never heard it before, but their instincts were drawn to the call. The lycans I had freed came running. Some of the closer groups arrived mere moments later. None of them had wandered too far, and in less than a half hour I was convinced all of them had shown.

    I wouldn''t have had so many, had I not gone after a dozen breeders. All the breeders had at least five, while one had nearly twenty. Now I had my army. Some of them may be cubs or barely older, but numbers outweighed their age. All together, I had over a hundred lycans at my command.

    "Welcome to the pack my friends. Enjoying your freedom?"

    Their barks were silent, but they were a resounding roar in my ears. Some of the younger cubs offered their yips of approval. I smiled as my eyes landed on Missy''s three, standing near a black female.

    They weren''t enough to take Cicil by force. It was a task even the wild lycans couldn''t contend with. But we wouldn''t need to.

    "Now, let me explain how we''re going to increase our numbers..."

 Chapter 35: Wedding

    Chapter 17: Wedding

    The moment I stepped outside, I was greeted by a swirling gust of frosty air. My eyes fluttered shut as I drew in a deep breath, cool and revitalizing as the taste of mint. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted with the sight of thirty or so people seated in the garden, surrounded by icy hedges and frozen flowers. At their head was an ice sculpture arch. Vines cut from the greenhouse wound around their wintery counter parts.

    Darrius stood under the arch. I smiled as my eyes met his. He was so handsome in his furred cloak, dyed blue. I had never seen him in his crown before. The sapphires sparkle against silver. He looked like a winter prince.

    No one accompanied me up the aisle. I had insisted on this. No one would give me away because no one owned me. Of course, Darrius had accepted. He had surrendered to all my requests, stating he only wished to make me as happy as I made him.

    I paused at the altar, allowing Darrius to take my hands and draw me up. The silk of my elegant gloves didn''t give as much protection from the cold as sheepskin, but I didn''t mind. The thin material allowed the heat of his grasp to warm me.

    There was an official of sorts, a council member I supposed, who started a speech. I didn''t pay him much mind, instead I focused on the man before me. He was smiling, not in his usual foxish manner, but a much more genuine way. I couldn''t help but smile back as I stared up into those pale green eyes. I appeared for all the world to be a blissful bride.

    I was happy. Just for that moment, I lived in the present, where I was in love and marrying royalty and really living out the heroine''s role in every fairytale. I deserved it didn''t I? After everything I''d been through, wasn''t I entitled to one day where I could have everything I could possibly want?

    The official finished his speech and asked us to repeat some vows. Then Darrius kissed me. It was a wonderful kiss, not just passionate but loving as well. It was a kiss I could have continued forever. After that, they had me kneel. The official placed a crown on my head, a feminine version of the king''s. I was announced Queen of Preene and heir to the throne.

    Darrius pulled me up and kissed me again, this time even more passionate and loving than the first. The people sitting in the garden cheered and swore their loyalty to me.

    Silvery flakes of snow drifted down from the heavens like icy petals. They coated the ground, covering everything dead and ugly in a beautiful blanket of shimmering white. Nothing on Earth could possibly be more perfect than this day.

    Tears streamed down my face. I just wished it was real.

    ***

    The suite was just how I had left it, smelling of flowers and decorated to perfection. Candles and petals were scattered throughout the room, adding a romantic lighting. The air was pleasantly warm compared to the frozen world outside.

    Darrius was already laying in the sheets, half undressed. He grinned as I closed the door behind me. I approached with careful footsteps, following the ornate rugs to the foot of the bed.

    I needed to have help removing the outer layer of the dress, and now stood in its shorter, thinner slip underneath. The soft fabric danced about my thighs as I turned my back to my new husband. The mattress groaned as he rolled onto his knees, approaching me from behind. Hot hands found the buttons fastening the back. My chest rose and fell as they undid the tiny clasps and the fabric fell off my shoulders, flowing into the floor.

    His lips pressed their way down my neck as his hands slid down my bare arms. I could feel his smile against my skin. I could hear his breath quicken when I turned around, pushing him back with my fingertips on his chest.

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    My knees sunk into the sheets as I crawled over him. I stopped when my chest hovered over his and my hand rested half under the pillows.

    Bile rose in my throat as my fingers found the hilt of the dagger hidden there.

    I didn''t need to do this. I could just continue on with this fairytale, living my days out in luxury as Queen. Cerberus was by my side and I had authority over all who lived in the kingdom. I could prove Eemeli wrong, that blood and death didn''t follow me everywhere, that I was truly cured of my curse and didn''t need my poison to live my life. I could live in peace. I could stay with this man who would love and accept me.

    Except he would never accept the part of me that loved the lycans. He desired the part of me that controlled them.

    Anger boiled in my heart as he pulled me down on top of him, kissing me passionately. I could taste the lust on his lips. How dare the world make me choose between my own fairytale ending and the promise I made? How dare my own happiness be conditioned upon the lycan''s captivity? It wasn''t fair! It wasn''t fair at all!

    Darrius broke away to draw me even closer, whispering in my ear, "I''ve been dizzy with happiness since I kissed you as my wife."

    It wasn''t fair, it wasn''t fair, it wasn''t fair! I seized the dagger''s hilt, drawing it out as I violently smashed my mouth onto his.

    I didn''t feel him stiffen at first. It was only when his jaw slowed to a stop that I noticed anything at all. His arms lost their strength, releasing their grip on my back and falling to his sides. I pulled away, looking down upon his unfocused eyes that stared blankly up at me. His chest rose and fell in an unsteady rhythm as he struggled for breath.

    I recognized this. I sat up, now gasping for breath myself. I knew this, I had seen it so many times before. My body trembled along with his.

    This was an overdose.

    I crawled backwards, breaking all skin contact. But it was too late already. The dagger hit the edge of the bed, bouncing off and clattering to the floor. I bent in half, gasping for air as I watched the man I had married draw in his final breaths.

    King Darrius was dead.

    I snatched up a pillow beside me and smashed into my face, muffling my scream. I screamed and shouted and cursed and cried. When I finally was able to throw it away its white fabric was stained with streaks from my makeup.

    One look at Darrius and I was grabbing another pillow to scream in again.

    It was back. My curse. The poison that had corrupted my life. The toxin that nearly killed my body.

    Everything that had happened in Askance, everything that had happened in Preene, was it all for nothing?

    I crawled off the bed, stumbling away from the corpse of my husband. I stumbled my way along the wall, falling out the doors onto the suite''s balcony. The dusting of snow stung at my bare feet, but I didn''t care. Nothing could hurt more than the turmoil inside me.

    Yet, they were gone. All those rocks, the sharp, piercing weights that had settled into my stomach had vanished. The lycans of Preene would be free. I had fulfilled my promise.

    Of course, there was now icicle in my heart.

    A bitter laugh escaped my lips. I, of all people, was feeling guilty for killing someone? For poisoning him with euphoria when I had planned on stabbing him in the chest? What an excuse for a villain I was. That was what I was after all, I had only briefly convinced myself I was otherwise. It was laughable now, to think I had really believed I could be the heroine. That I had a choice of keeping this fairytale I had set up for myself.

    I just really, really wanted it to be true.

    "I''m sorry," I whispered to the winter breeze, "I almost... I almost didn''t do it. I was so close to..."

    I took a deep breath, trying my best not to choke on my words.

    "You gave up everything for me. I cost you your lives," I said to the moon, "And I couldn''t even stop being selfish long enough to go through with one promise."

    I wiped my eyes on my bare sleeve. "I''m so sorry."

    It was time to forgive myself for the wild lycan''s sacrifice. I had done some good with the life they had given me, even if I had to destroy the happy ending I had dreamed of to achieve it.

    I still hated myself.

 Chapter 36: Queen

    The high-backed throne, the open hall, the leather gloves, the mask upon my face, they were comfortingly familiar. But what delighted me most of all was the legion of lycans swarming the room below. They practically climbed over one another in their eagerness as they dragged the men and women of the council through my doors. In my head, I heard the yips and barks of a returning hunting party.

    "Good morning honorable council people of Preene," I greeted, standing up and throwing my arms out in a dramatic gesture, "Welcome to my new court."

    They huddled together like herded sheep. I could see their shaking from my throne. Several were bruised and bleeding, doubtlessly where they foolishly struggled against my lycans. A quick head count revealed there to be only eleven, where I knew there to be a dozen members total. I didn''t need to question where the twelfth was though. My horde left little chance for escape.

    One of the council women was plucking up enough courage to speak; I could tell by the trembling about her lips. "Where... where''s King Darrius?"

    "Darrius?" My chest tightened, but I spoke as though it were the most casual thing in the world. I had plenty of practice acting, after all. "Darrius Darrius... Ah, you see, I killed him. Shortly after consummating our marriage."

    A collective gasp. I smirked, falling back on my throne and throwing my legs up over the armrest.

    "You really shouldn''t have been so eager to marry him off. Then maybe he wouldn''t have rushed into such a... destructive relationship." I gave a small laugh. "Anyway, I brought you all here for a renewal of vows of sorts. Yesterday you swore your loyalty to me as Queen. I just wanted to make sure you would stand by those vows."

    "You think we will acknowledge you as leader of Preene after you murdered its king?" one of the men shouted out.

    I hissed, both at his heated glare and the twisting of the shard of ice in my heart. "You really should think before you speak. I am legally your queen. Care to rephrase your complaint?"

    His wrinkled hands balled into fists. "No."

    I frowned. "River?"

    The gray female pounced from her position in the pack, tackling the man. He only got a chance to let out a short scream before he was covered in a feeding frenzy of starved lycans.

    I gave a small shrug, turning back to the remaining members of the council. "You really should have had a law about feeding them properly. Anyone else object to my authority?"

    None of them so much as whispered a protest.

    "Good," I purred. "Now, there are some new laws I wish to instate. You''d better write this down." I waited for a couple of them to pull notepads and pens from their pockets. The utensils shook as they were held raised above the paper. "As of the end of today, keeping any lycan captive in any manner is illegal. Separating a mother from her cubs is illegal. Cutting their vocal chords or altering their natural form in any way is illegal. Forcing them to do anything against their will is illegal. They are to be treated with equal rights and respect as humans."

    "Then what''s to keep them from attacking humans?" The same woman that had asked about Darrius spoke up.

    I raised my eyebrows. "What laws were in place to keep humans from abusing them?"

    The woman was silent. She swallowed as her gaze dropped to the floor. "I assume you wish to ban the fights as well?" The hall''s vaulted ceiling amplified her whisper.

    "Oh no no no," I leaned forward on my throne, "Don''t you go putting words in my mouth. If you knew anything at all about the lycans, you would know they love a good brawl. The fights will go on with some amendments, one of which being, anyone caught breaking any of these new laws must participate... as a competitor."

    If there was any color left among the council, it was soon gone. I knew many of them were former trainers or managers, some still bred. I wondered how many would survive the night after they let their prisoners free.

    "Any questi-" I paused, looking over the court''s heads to the commotion that appeared in the doorway. A group of lycans were dragging in a human man. His face was difficult to make out from my position, though I supposed he was the last council member or a disobedient servant. The man brought to my feet was neither.

    "What are you doing here?" I hissed through clenched teeth. As if I wasn''t having a hard enough time dealing with rogue emotions, he had to show up to remind me there were still some stones sitting in my stomach.

    Pale blue eyes flicked up to meet mine. Cyrus Khale stood up, gaze unwavering despite the blood running down the sleeve of his jacket. One of the lycans had given him a nasty bite. "Call it foolish lust or stupid curiosity. Either way, I wanted to see Preene''s new queen. I was concerned, but it seems I shouldn''t have worried."

    I frowned, fighting the inner turmoil his presence brought. This was just like when Brennon came back, possibly worse. "I don''t believe you," I stated in a carefully controlled voice.

    "Well, it''s the truth."

    "You wanted to capture me, to ruin my plans, to ruin this!" I snapped, gesturing to the lycans around me. Some of them barred their teeth in silent snarls. "You know why I had to do it!" I didn''t know why I was defending myself, why I bothered offering justification when he didn''t ask for it. I was trying to keep my self control, to continue on with my calm display, but his presence was eroding it away as easily as water through sand.

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    "For the good of Preene, it would have been better if you hadn''t become queen," he stated in a cool tone. Why wasn''t he being as overly expressive as he had always been before? Why was he hiding behind an icy wall? Or did he really not care anymore? "But at the time, I only wanted you to turn yourself in before you were discovered."

    "What''s that supposed to matter?"

    It wasn''t Cyrus that answered, but one of the council members. Her arms wrapped around herself as she stared down at the floor. "As a foreigner, I wouldn''t expect you to know, Your Majesty. But in Preene, criminals who turn themselves in are exempt from the death sentence, no matter how atrocious their crime."

    My eyes darted from him to her and back until he spoke. "Listen, I know you won''t understand, but I always knew you were suffering through... something." He stared straight at me, though his expression gave away none of his thoughts. "You have secrets beyond what you told me. I could see it every time you looked at fire, or a lycan, or held a whip. I know a tortured soul when I see one, and so, for me, it didn''t matter what you''d done. I didn''t want you to die for it."

    Death. Was it better than life as a prisoner? I thought so. But perhaps Cyrus didn''t. Maybe he really was trying to help me. He might have truly wanted to spare my life.

    Or more likely, he wanted to save himself.

    "I don''t believe you."

    His blank expression didn''t waver. "I don''t believe that."

    "Well, it doesn''t matter what you believe!" I shouted.

    "Desire..."

    "No!" I jumped back, slapping his hand away where he reached to touch the exposed part of my face. "Never-! Don''t you dare touch me!"

    Just for one second, his facade broke. In that instant I could see him, the real Cyrus, the one with upturned eyes and a slack jaw. But he was gone as soon as he had come, and that foolishly puppy-like expression melded back into a hard mask.

    "Well, if you''re going to have me killed, it''d be better sooner than later."

    I bared my teeth, ready to snap the order. Yet, my throat closed around the words. Was I going to kill him? Did I really want him dead?

    He was just like Brennon though, promising me forgiveness, whispering sweet things in my ear. He was doing the same thing. Abandoning me, then acting as though it was for my own good. If anything, he was worse. I had known Brennon roughly two weeks. I had been with Cyrus for months. Brennon had kissed me, while Cyrus and I had gotten much closer than that.

    But it was hard to spoil that night with bitter reality. His whispered confession he doubted the morals of lycan fighting rang through my mind. I couldn''t convince myself it had been a lie.

    All those stupid, open-mouthed smiles, slack jawed expressions, wide eyes and happy grins, had they all been fake? Could I discredit how he had first guided me through Cicil, or how cold my wrist felt when he let go? What about all those animated conversations? I hadn''t thought much of them at the time, but I missed them now. To say they had all been with the purpose of deceit was like swallowing acid.

    On my end, it had been real. As foolish and na?ve as it was to fall for all the same tricks, I had.

    Only now did I realize how little I knew of him. All I knew of his past was that he was raised in the capital. All I knew was that he went fishing when he didn''t have money for food and worked as a laborer while he looked for a trainer. I knew he was good at starting a fire and thought it important a manager matched their trainer''s style. I knew he was always prepared and good at budgeting money. He picked the best inns. He swung his fork around in that ridiculous manner. He talked with his mouth full.

    He looked genuinely panicked when I fell  in the arena.

    Maybe he started hating me when he found me that night...

    My words still wouldn''t come out. I tried to force them, but choked on my own tongue. The blankness of Darrius''s face was reflected on his. I buried my face in my hands, trying to block out the image. The icicle jabbed in my heart twisted and pulled. I didn''t think I could handle that again. These council members meant nothing to me, but to lose to Cyrus, to know it was me who passed his sentence, I may just shatter in a million pieces.

    He was just like Brennon, and I still didn''t have the strength.

    "Cerberus..." I gasped, then whispered, "Alpha. You... you choose."

    The albino lycan paced forward, stepping between me and the man. He rose up, towering over him. I braced myself for the screams. Cerberus wouldn''t make it quick. He knew the importance of an audience, he would make an example out of him. Lying to the queen, more importantly, the Lady of the Lycan Mountains, wouldn''t be tolerated. Deceit and treason would be punished to the highest degree. The massive alpha locked gazes with the man, a clash of fire red and storm blue.

    Cerberus opened his jaws, displaying his yellowed teeth. My insides knotted. It was about to begin.

    "I let him live."

    My heart stopped. A wave swept through my brain, washing it clear of thoughts. Only one remained, a single word that burned on the back of my tongue. But I couldn''t utter it, not yet.

    Back to character, back to calm and collected. Back to my role as the ruthless tyrant.

    "Very well then." My voice cracked. It wasn''t very well, not at all. "But I still won''t let you wander free. From now on you are to stay by Crimson Claw''s side until I state otherwise. Is that understood?"

    Cyrus nodded, though his eyes didn''t leave Cerberus. My chest felt like it was about to explode, I couldn''t let everyone witness it when it did.

    "Out," I barked, "The council must spread word of the new laws. I don''t care about everyone else, just get out."

    It was remarkable how quickly my orders were followed. In less than a minute, most lycans cleared the room. I stared out the door into the hallway. I didn''t miss Cyrus being herded out by the chocolate male I assigned him to, nor did I miss that quick, stolen glance back.

    Only Cerberus remained. He was never required to follow orders, anyway. As alpha of the pack, he answered only when he chose.

    I finally was able to spit out the burning, acidic word, "Why?"

    The albino lycan met my stare with the utmost sincerity. "That man risked his life to save you once. He still has the same look in his eye."

 Chapter 37: Alice

    I found him in a room in the southern wing with only one window. The giant stained glass structure stretched from floor to ceiling along a narrow wall opposite the door. The colors of the sunset were amplified in a dazzling display by the reds and oranges of the image depicted, a cityscape of the old world. It was obvious this was how the artist intended it to be viewed. As for the room''s intended purpose, it was difficult to discern, especially with the state it was in. There were several shelves along one wall, their books had been scattered across the marble floor. Claw marks were scraped into the stone, along with chipped areas where what appeared to be the remains of chairs had been thrown. Near the epicenter of the destruction was the hunched white form of the lycan I was looking for.

    "Cerberus?" I called.

    A huff was his reply. I frowned, eyes scanning the wrecked room. With the magnification of his shadow, I could see the fur of his arms quiver. He was shaking.

    "Reports have come in of some humans forming a rebellion," I started slowly, watching his back for a reaction. His ears flicked to face me, but he made no further movements to indicate he noticed my presence. I sighed. "At least it will take the lycans¡¯ focus off random people."

    It had been a struggle the past few days to keep the lycans from massacring the city, both from their hunger and want of revenge. Hopefully this collective effort would do them some good.

    "A mute pack will be difficult to organize until they hone their instincts."

    "Right." I was glad he was talking to me. However, his shaking still had me worried, and I spent over an hour looking for him. "Cerberus... Are you okay?"

    He waited several heartbeats before he spoke. I held on each word with baited breath. "Take off your gloves."

    My heart dropped. I hoped he wouldn''t ask that. Even as I spoke I knew how this was going to end. "We talked about this. You''ve already gone through hell, I can''t watch you suffer that again."

    "Just do it."

    "I can''t."

    The massive canine turned, pacing toward me before standing to his full bipedal height. His fur brushed against my chest as I craned my head back to meet his gaze. "Take off your gloves," he growled. Long claws closed around my arms.

    I set my jaw. "No."

    The lycan drove me backwards. I gasped as we collided with the wall, knocking the breath from my lungs. His snarling bark echoed in my ears.

    "You don''t understand!" His voice was laced with a desperate whine that rang in the back of his throat. "How much it itches. How much it burns. It''s all I can do not to scratch myself open again. Take it away!"

    I twisted out of his grasp, ducking under his arm. Cerberus was quicker. The lycan grabbed at my waist, causing me to lose my balance. I crashed into the cool floor. He landed on top of me, pinning me down. I was flipped onto my back. A padded hand wrapped around my mask, snapping the ribbon and ripping it from my face. I turned away. My fists pounded on his chest while my knees beat against his stomach. It was no use though, I was little match against the lycan, and I couldn''t bring myself to use much force against his injuries.

    The albino alpha stopped. I arched my back to better follow his gaze. His upper lip lifted as he growled at the human man standing in the doorway, a deep brown lycan a little ways behind him. "Don''t interfere," Cerberus snarled.

    Cyrus frowned. "And after all I did to make friends..." He scanned over us, then the room. "This place is even worse than the rest of the palace. What''s going on here?"

    My nose wrinkled as Cerberus''s hot breath washed over my face. He placed a heavy paw on my chest, resting his claws on the underside of my jaw. "Just a little roughhousing," I muttered. Thick saliva rolled down my collarbone as his tongue slid up my jugular. I grimaced as bits of flesh still caught between his teeth dragged up my cheek. I guessed it was either steak or a servant, though I tried not to think about how it was most likely the latter. "Don''t worry, he won''t hurt me."

    "I''m not," Cyrus shrugged, clearly more curious than concerned. "I wouldn''t have let him out if I thought he would."

    "What?" I squirmed as Cerberus''s tongue flicked over the edge of my mouth. He had no concern that I may not want a piece of whatever he had eaten.

    "The bear incident?" Cyrus crossed his arms. "Really? The talking lycan didn''t tell you?"

    Cyrus let Cerberus out? I hadn''t given it much thought to it at the time, but Cerberus was in the holding stable, not the stalls for that fight, meaning he must have been chained. Even the giant alpha couldn''t break solid steel.

    Cerberus drew back, giving a slight nod as he let me up, confirming my theory. I rolled into a sitting position, then threw my arms around his neck, pulling myself up against him. My face buried in his coat.

    "It''s alright," I whispered in his ear. It flicked as my breath tickled the fur around it. "I do understand... I''m sorry."

    He gave the smallest of whines in return.

    "Listen, if you''re done snuggling your dog, Claw and I found some things on the black market you might be interested in."

    I let Cerberus go, pausing to wipe my face with my sleeve before retrieving my mask. Cyrus stepped back, as did the lycan behind him, to allow me to pass them into the hall. Once through, the man fell in step next to me.

    "As I was saying, we were down at the black market-"

    "Wait, why were you in the black market?" I pursed my lips. "How would you even know where to find it?"

    Cyrus snorted. "Really? What, did you think, I habitually broke in the palace for kicks?"

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    "You''re a thief then."

    "Hey, hey." He held his hands up. "I was a thief. Haven''t stolen a thing since I was fifteen. That was six years ago in case you were wondering. A particularly patriotic man with underground ties convinced me to the straight and narrow."

    I rolled my eyes. "And Crimson Claw let you?" I glanced back to the lycans.

    "Yeah, we''ve worked out a kind of understanding over the past few days. You see, this-" He lifted up his upper lip. Behind us Crimson Claw snarled, baring his teeth. "Yeah, that. That means ''don''t do that.'' Everything else I figure is fine."

    I sighed. "Okay, whatever. What is it you found?"

    He stopped. I turned back to face him. He was studying me while he bit his tongue. "Well, first I need to ask you something. It''s been eating at the back of my brain."

    "What?"

    "What was that back there? I mean-" He huffed, balling his fists as he met my eyes. "Are you a child of the apocalypse?"

    My gaze dropped to the floor. I turned on my heels, starting down the hallway again.

    "I know what that means, Desire," he called out, stopping me in my tracks again. "To tell the truth, I suspected it since we met. But I''ve never heard of one living past puberty, and then you proved me wrong. So I don''t understand, can you control it or something?"

    His footsteps echoed down the hall as he trotted to my side. His hand rested on the leather sleeve of my jacket. "Is that how you killed Darrius?"

    My lips trembled. I felt tears gather in my eyes. I thought I was getting over that, that the ice in my heart was melting. But apparently the gaping wound still hadn''t healed.

    "I didn''t mean to..." I whispered. "I mean... I did mean to but not like that. I don''t know if I was going to or not, but maybe I never really had a choice." I looked up at him. "Have... have you ever killed anyone before?"

    His eyes held so much empathy I knew what he was going to say before he said it. "Yeah, I did, once."

    He waited a few moments before asking, "So why am I not addicted... Or dead?"

    I wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to hold myself together. I felt like I was failing. "I thought I was cured... but it came back."

    "I see."

    "No, you don''t." I gave a bitter laugh, wiping my eyes on the fabric cuff of my sleeve. "Anyway, what does this have to do with anything?"

    His stormy blue eyes stared into mine. "Because I found another one."

    ***

    She was five. At least she looked about five, with curly blond hair and bright blue eyes. Someone dressed her in a frilly pink dress with a matching ribbon in her hair. She was the image of cuteness, the most adorable little girl I had ever seen.

    She also had saddest eyes I had ever seen on a child.

    I slipped off my mask. I didn''t want to scare her. She was already terrified, though it was difficult to tell if it was more from the lycans or the prospect being sold to a new master.

    "They call her Alice. They told me her skin''s a fast-pass ticket to wonderland," Cyrus explained. "They were also kind enough to warn me the trip isn''t always a good one."

    "Right..." The lycans cleared a path for me. I knelt in front of the little girl, staring into the sad sky like eyes. "Hey there, my friend tells me your name is Alice. Is that right?"

    She nodded shyly. I gave her my kindest smile, though admittedly I hadn''t practiced much. Even still, she seemed to be comforted a little.

    "My name''s Desire. My friend brought you here."

    Her little hands clasped in front of her dress. She bit her lip as she looked up at me. "Are you going to be like Mr. Khom?"

    I kept the smile plastered on my face, despite the twisting of my gut. "That depends. Was Mr. Khom nice to you?"

    Alice shook her head. After a moment of fidgeting, she finally spoke. "He never let me out to play. Only the blood donors get to play. I''m too dangerous."

    "Well then, we won''t be like him at all." I reached out to her.

    "No! Don''t!¡± she cried, stumbling away. " You can''t touch me! Bad things always happen when people touch me! But no one ever listens..." She tucked her little hands under her arms.

    "It''s okay. See, gloves." I showed her my leather clad hands. She reluctantly let me hold her little hands. "It''s going to be okay. Bad things happen when people touch me, too. So we''re not going to let them, alright?"

    My heart lifted with her smile. Yet, I didn''t miss her nervous glance around.

    "Are you scared of the lycans?"

    She nodded.

    "You don''t have to be. They''re here to protect us, like big, scary guard dogs. And see?" I reached out to the nearest lycan, a small tannish male, and rubbed between his ears. "They have thick fur, so we can play with them without bad things happening. We just can''t touch their nose, okay? You try it."

    She bit her cheek, looking the lycan up and down. With a deep breath she stretched her hand out, burying her little fingers in his thick fur. The lycan dropped his head to allow her easier access. She smiled again, then giggled.

    "He''s soft."

    "Yeah, he is, isn''t he?" I grasped around her waist, lifting her up into my arms. "So what do you say? Want to live here with me?"

    "Yes!" she cheered, grabbing on my shoulders, "I like you, you''re nice."

    I ignored the little flip my stomach did. Shifting her so she was more securely on my hip, I walked over to Cyrus. I cupped my mouth, both to channel my whisper and create a barrier between my lips and his ear.

    "You and Crimson Claw track down this Khom. I want you to bring me any more poisonous children he has."

    The man nodded. Cerberus trotted behind me as I started down the hall. "Let''s find you something yummy to eat. You look hungry."

    The girl started to nod, then suddenly let go of me, clutching at her head. I gasped, throwing my other hand around her back to keep her from falling. Tears start streaming down her cheeks.

    "Alice? Alice, what''s wrong?"

    "My head!" she wailed, then covered her mouth with her hands. "I know, I know! I''m trying to be quiet."

    "No! It''s okay to cry..." I hurriedly said, holding her close as she whimpered.

    "It''ll go away, then I''ll be quiet again."

    "Don''t worry about that," I assured her, then twisted back to face Cerberus, "Organize a hunting party, bring me every doctor you can find."

    He gave a short nod, then bounded back to the main hall.

    "It''s going to be okay. You can cry if you want. I''m going to get a doctor to take care of you. They''re going to make the pain go away."

 Chapter 38: Snowstorm

    My chin rested on my hands. Nine children. Cyrus had been combing the underworld and found nine ''children of the apocalypse'' as they were called. So far Alice and I were the only ones to give our curse through skin contact, while the others kept theirs in their blood. Alice was also the youngest, the majority of the others being between the ages of seven and ten. None of them suffered through her migraines, though the eldest, a boy who told us he was eleven, was paralyzed from the knees down. It was difficult to tell if it was a result of his poison, which was by far the mildest, or a birth defect.

    The boy who had come with him was mute. We knew that wasn''t from poison though. He had protested too loudly, so their captor hired a vet and had him cut like one of the lycans.

    At least the cubs and children seemed to get on nicely. The kids delighted in teaching the uncut lycans to speak, while the larger cubs mimicked my relationship with Cerberus and allowed them to ride on their backs.

    "Dessy, guess who''s back!"

    I smiled. Alice had already come up with a nickname for me. I turned in my seat, watching her skip over broken furniture and bones to get my throne. Within a week, the lycans had destroyed the palace, turning it into a den of rubble and the remains of their hunts. The kids didn''t seem to mind though, they were perfectly content so long as they were fed and free.

    "Who?"

    "Cyrus!" the little girl squealed, then pointed to the main entryway. "And he''s got someone with him!" Her bleached hide gloves already bore several brownish stains, which I assumed to be chocolate, though they very well could be blood. Some of the children chanced eating from the lycan''s kills.

    I peered over her, looking to the main entrance. Crimson Claw was the first to enter, opening the door and clearing a path for those who followed behind. Cyrus came in, supporting a thin kid. I stood up as they stepped into the light.

    The boy was taller than the others, lanky and clearly malnourished. His hair hung in a dirty, untrimmed mess about his shoulders. Yet, his most obvious features were the open sores that littered his skin, some oozing blood and fluids, others crusted over. His clothes hung in tatters under Cyrus''s cloak, which had been hung over his shoulders.

    My companion''s face was devoid of all usual cheer as he met my gaze. "His name is Jared."

    "Welcome," I greeted, then gestured for him to come closer. Cyrus helped him along to the end of the stairs leading to my throne. I could smell the sickness from my seat. "How old are you, Jared?"

    "Fourteen, my Queen," he said, bowing his head.

    "And what is your poison?"

    "I make people feel good..." He let out a sigh. "Until their skin falls off that is."

    My eyes widened, though I made no remark. I hadn''t heard of such a side effect. Judging by Cyrus''s expression, neither had he.

    "I see... and where exactly is-?"

    "It''s on my skin."

    "Oh." I sighed, reaching down to take Alice''s hand. She smiled up at me, clearly not understanding the situation. I forced a smile back. "I''m sorry for that. Find a room not completely decimated if you can, Cyrus, and see if you can find him some gloves while he gets washed up." I looked back down on the boy. "I truly am sorry. I can only hope you can find happiness here."

    Jared nodded. "Thank you, my queen. You''ve already done too much for me."

    I nodded in return. Cyrus let the boy lean on him again. Crimson Claw paused at the brush of my foot against his shoulder. The chocolate lycan had become the unofficial beta of the pack, though he spent most of his time accompanying Cyrus on his quests.

    "Is he behaving?"

    Amber eyes searched mine. He was trying to read me. After a minute, he gave a short nod.

    I sighed, then gestured that he was free to go. Of course Cyrus was behaving, I knew very well the lycan wouldn''t hesitate to end him if he so much as suggested crossing me.

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    Yet, in a way, I almost hoped he would commit some sort of betrayal. It would be easier to accept, a kind of relief from this constant suspicion. And still, he passed every test I had sent him without a second of hesitation.

    I watched the trio hobble down the hallway. It was tempting to believe I was doing enough good to warrant a happy ending, that these were my friends and we could all skip off into the sunset together. But I wasn''t that na?ve.

    There were exactly twenty-seven doctors in Cicil. Not one had enough knowledge to recreate Dr. Aster''s cure. Six of them hadn''t even tried. Damned, they called us. Children of the Apocalypse couldn''t be cured, they were a reminder of humanity''s mistakes, a disease that needed to be purged before we could move beyond the downfalls of our past. It''d be better for everyone if we all just died.

    Now there were twenty-one doctors in Cicil.

    I had expanded my search throughout Preene, but not many came forward. I could call them to me. I could order them with my title. I could even hunt them down. But in the end, somehow I knew, there was only one who could cure us.

    Half a dozen lycans had run the mountains, each attached with a note, more of a plea, to find the doctor that once cured me.

    Only one burst through my doors, allowing a cold burst of wintery air to swirl inside, sprinkling snowflakes over the stone flooring. I sprung to my feet, rushing down the stairs to Cerberus, who carried the injured lycan on his back. I recognized him as the lycan Alice first pet, and the first to volunteer to run the mountains. I glanced behind me. Thankfully, Alice had disappeared into the depths of the palace.

    It was immediately apparent something was wrong by his shivering. The lycans'' thick coats insulated them from all but the coldest of nights. Of course, any insulation was useless once removed. Four massive lacerations had torn the fur from his back, their combined width spanning all of his body. In addition, half of his tail hung limp at an odd angle from the rest. Bald spots had already begun to appear, revealing the black skin underneath.

    "Sunshine!" I had no other name for him other than the one Alice assigned. His eyes opened, though just barely. They rolled in my direction, yet remained unfocused. The lycan attempted to lift his head, revealing the canister strapped to his neck, which I used for them to carry their notes. The lid had been opened, then resealed. I hurriedly unbuckled the collar, slipping it from his neck before some of the other lycans came to take him away to the medical wing.

    "He collapsed not far from the city," Cerberus explained as I broke the wax holding the canister together and unfolded the paper within, "We searched for the others, but found no sign of them."

    ''Dear Desire,

    I can only assume from your new title that you''ve done well for yourself, even found a new batch of dogs, though I must say they are a bit smaller than your previous ones. I am quite looking forward to the reports my informants will bring of the havoc you''ve undoubtedly wreaked upon Preene. Until then I must make due with insinuations from this note.

    I believe I owe you the courtesy, after you so willingly disposed of Perimone for me, to inform you that I consider your interest in Askance, combined with your newfound authority, as a threat. Hopefully, you will understand if I do not ignore such things as my predecessor did. However, I anticipated we would meet again after you fled your little hideout, and so took the liberty of collecting Dr. Estil, as well as a previous lord I believe you may have interest in. I assure you I will give you both freely after we come to an agreement how to best neutralize the threat you pose to my country.

    Send my regards to the head trainer.

    Howens

    Ninth Elected Leader of Askance''

    I ground my teeth together. Him. He had done this. I didn''t know how he had inflicted such wounds on my lycan, but I knew with certainty that worm of a military commander, now elected Lord it seemed, had not only tortured Sunshine, but also disposed of the rest. Now he held the doctor I needed for the children, those I now considered my own, from my reach.

    "Gather a force of the strongest lycans," I growled. "We have to meet with an old friend."

    Cerberus dropped his head, staring at the stonework beneath his paws. "My lady," he murmured. I clenched my jaw as my heart sunk. He hadn''t called me that since we entered Cicil. "There is a blizzard in the mountains. The snow will be too deep to cross until spring."

    I dropped to my knees. The sound of the impact echoed through the room as I slapped the floor, once polished and smooth, now scratched to a dull gray by the lycan''s claws. Could they even make it that long? Would the doctor, ancient as he was, live until then? Would Howens even keep his word?

    Of course he wouldn''t.

    Spring was months away. In that instant, it felt like a lifetime, perhaps longer. Perhaps too long.

    I knew I was assigned from birth to be a villain. Every choice I had ever made only cemented my role. I had no right to expect to be happy, to have a fairytale ending where everyone was ridiculously joyful and lived full and fulfilling lives. That was for other people once I was gone.

    I knew I may be tempted by the possibility. I knew I may be so close to having security and loved ones and to be touched and everything that I wanted that I could convince myself there was some possibility I could live that life. But my marriage to Darrius had proven even when I thought I had a choice, it would all be taken away.

    And yet, I couldn''t bring myself to give up fighting for it.

 Chapter 39: Savage Queen

    My heart shot adrenaline through my veins, causing a pleasant tingle in my fingertips. I ran them along my ribbon to the knot resting on the back of my head. My hand pressed to the wolf mask covering my face, feeling the teardrops carved just under the eyes. Finally assured all was ready, I stepped into the light.

    A roar accompanied my arrival into the arena''s stands. I blinked in the bright sunlight, then bowed to my awaiting citizens. I was pleased to hear several barks among the human cheers. Eyes now adjusted to the light, I was able to find my way to the canopy covering the royal stage set above the pit.

    The massive canine waiting next to my seat nodded in acknowledgment as I settled myself.

    "Alpha."

    "My Lady."

    I smiled, reaching out to bury my fingers in the fur between his ears. He caught my wrist in his paw-like hand, holding my arm still as his pink nose burrowed into the space between my coat and gloves, pressing to the skin underneath. His tongue lapped at the underside of my forearm.

    "Sneak," I chuckled, though my gut tied itself in a knot. I wished he hadn''t touched me after he suffered withdrawal the first time, that he stayed free of the addiction. But I didn''t struggle against the albino alpha. The public didn''t need to see me squabble with a creature four times my weight and strength. I wouldn''t win. He released my arm after a moment, looking back the way I came.

    A dark-haired man marched from the hallway accompanied by a smaller, chocolate canine. His black furred cloak danced around his calves as he fell into the seat beside me. Glancing around the crowd, he adjusted the fabric covering the lower half of his face higher on the bridge of his nose.

    "Late as always," I commented. "I remember a time when you used to be much more punctual."

    "And I remember a time I used to get paid," he huffed. "Claw was sniffing something out. It''s not my fault he was doing some werewolf stuff."

    "He''s not a werewolf," I sighed.

    "It''s an old world name for their kind."

    "It''s an old world name for a mythical shapeshifter inspired by their kind." I rolled my eyes, once again reaching out to pat my albino companion''s shoulder. "Cerberus''s never changed into a human man. I know Crimson Claw is just the same."

    "Yeah, I''m sure Cerberus''s never shifted," Cyrus laughed. "You''d never give me a second glance if he did."

    An announcer began shouting the schedule for the events, but I paid him no mind. I was too focused on the man who once introduced me to the country I now ruled. "No, but that hardly matters. It''s not like you can get very far with me, anyway."

    He leaned over the arm of his chair, giving me a conspiratorial grin. "Really? I''m pretty sure we''ve gone pretty far already."

    I gritted my teeth. "Special circumstances. That can''t happen again."

    The man frowned, falling back in his seat. His lip scrunched up to the underside of his nose. It was a few heartbeats before he spoke. "Sometimes I want to try it, you know, to see what all the fuss is about." He crossed his arms, glancing my way. "I think about stealing a kiss sometimes."

    Ice seeped into my veins. I unconsciously raised a hand to my mouth. "Don''t you dare," I whispered, meeting his gaze with a serious stare. "You''ve seen what my kind does to people."

    Cyrus leaned over his armrest again. "It''d be worth the addiction."

    "No... it wouldn''t." But I could see my argument meant little to him. I really didn''t feel like having this conversation with him. I never did. So I reached back, tugging my ribbon free and letting my mask fall into my face. "Cerberus, you arrived before me. I think you deserve a reward for being on time."

    The white lycan grinned, standing on his hind legs and stepping in front of me. His long, bearish claws wrapped around my throat, keeping my head steady as he supported his weight against the other hand on the back of my chair. I closed my eyes and relaxed into his grip, holding my breath.

    "As my lady wishes," he breathed over my face before dragging his long tongue over my features. I wasn''t afraid of the sharp canine teeth pressing into the skin on my cheek. He would never hurt me. This lycan had endured more than I could possibly ask for my sake.

    "Ewh," Cyrus''s disgusted expression was revealed as Cerberus pulled back, dropping to all fours and returning to my side. I laughed at his comically curled lip. "You know, I''m pretty sure he''s eaten someone today." He glanced over to the lycan. "Really, like ninety percent certain, we''re missing a servant."

    "What? Don''t you want your kiss now?"

    His eyes narrowed. I laughed again as I tied my mask back on.

    "I thought you two were friends," I said, looking back down to the sand pit below us, where two lycans were brawling in the hopes of advancing their position in the pack. The fights were quite entertaining, even enjoyable now the once oppressed lycans recovered from their captivity and chose their own opponents. I tied my mask back on my face.

    "We are. I just don''t always approve of his meal choices."

    "Lazy meat is tender," the lycan murmured from my side. ¡°More fat.¡±

    Cyrus began to reply, but was interrupted by the trumpets announcing a change of events. I turned back to the pit, peering down at the blue clad soldiers leading a man to the center. They spun on their heels to face me, then bowed. Their prisoner was forced to his knees.

    "My Queen!" One of them shouted. I gave a sharp nod, signaling I could hear him clearly. He continued, "This man, Edward Manbrig, is a former trainer found to have association with a rebellion resisting your lawful rule."

    I scanned over the man. Former trainers had quickly become scarce since the lycans gained their freedom. He was quite raggedy, no doubt from living in poverty after losing his source of income. It was little wonder why he joined a group of rebels. "Has he personally taken any actions against me?"

    The speaking soldier glanced over a piece of paper handed to him. "Not to our knowledge, My Queen."

    "Give him a spear, then." A spear was a sign of my mercy. A spear gave him a chance, if only a slight one, to force his opponent to surrender. I snatched up the registry beside me, flipping through the list of competitors until I found one suitable. "He shall go against Blizzardback."

    A lycan with gray fur so light it appeared nearly white trotted from the modified stalls, taking his place beside the soldiers. The underside of his coat was a much darker hue, giving him the appearance of having been caught in a snowstorm. He bent one foreleg, bowing to me in the lycan fashion, before turning to his assigned opponent.

    The soldiers handed the prisoner a spear, then marched from the pit. The man paled as he faced the lycan. He glanced my way. He didn''t bother pleading for mercy though, however much his eyes told me he wished to. Anyone living in Preene knew I had none, not for the trainers, and not for the rebellion.

    The trumpet played one long, low note, and then it began.

    The trainer fumbled with his spear, turning it to point to the charging lycan. He would have been more comfortable with a whip. Perhaps I should have allowed that instead. It was too late now.

    Blizzardback collided with the spearhead, driving it into his shoulder. The canine curled his head back, his mouth open in a silent howl. However, lycans were much tougher than to surrender to a simple wound, not when they were well fed and determined. He stumbled back, pulling the metal from his flesh. Red wove through his fur, but he ignored it. The creature fell on all fours, pacing around his prey.

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    The trainer was now trembling. It was clear the strike had been more luck than skill, and he rightfully doubted his ability to repeat the incident. His fear faltered his concentration. Blizzardback was quick to see his hesitation, and take advantage.

    The lycan leapt forward, catching the man''s bicep in his jaws. They tumbled to the sand, the trainer kicking and screaming, the canine securing his grip. The movement was so quick I didn''t catch it with my eyes, only saw the human tossed into the air. He collided with the pit wall, falling to the ground in a moaning heap.

    Blizzardback wasn''t far behind. He bounded to the trainer, then rose up on his hind legs. His paws pressed together as he fell forward. Even from across the arena, I could hear the sickening snap as the trainer''s sternum broke under the weight, causing his ribcage to fold in.

    No one needed to remove the man''s corpse. Criminals didn''t get proper burials, they got dragged off to a lycan''s den.

    The silent crowd exploded into whoops and cheers. The people of Preene certainly enjoyed their blood sport and seemed not to care if it was human or lycan that fought. In fact, the unfair opposition thrilled them. Violence ran in this country''s veins. This was my method of punishing the guilty, and I had received few complaints.

    One voice rose above the others, though I couldn''t tell if it was a man or woman''s. "All worship the Savage Queen!"

    ***

    The palace was somewhere between luxury and a dug out den. Much of the furniture had been replaced, but the scratches and bones remained. The place was infested with lycans, some warming themselves beside the many hearths, others gnawing on the remains of recent kills. Occasionally, a servant would dart through, though it was rare to see them far from the safety of their corridors.

    However, the servants weren''t the only humans living in Preene''s Royal palace.

    "Dessy''s home!" A little girl''s voice echoed through the main hall. Alice appeared in the doorway, curly blond hair bouncing as she trotted across the room, clinging to the fur of her tan mount. The lycan stopped a few feet away from my hip. "Where''s Cye?"

    "He had to go somewhere. He''ll be back soon," I explained as several other children, some on foot, most on young lycans, ran to my side. Six kids gathered around, though I knew there to be over twenty in the castle.

    "Where to?" A brown-haired boy asked as he leaned back on his mount. A single drop of Taurus¡¯s blood was able to sooth the most violent of tempers. Unfortunately, nothing could soothe his paralyzed lower body, the lycan he rode had become his only mode of transportation.

    I sighed. "He didn''t tell me. Where he always is, I suppose."

    "Maybe he''ll bring someone home," one of the younger cubs spoke, standing to look over my shoulder as if Cyrus would walk in that moment. "Either way, Claw will look after he."

    "Him, Grizzlefur," Alice corrected in her most knowledgeable six-year-old tone. "Claw will look after him." I smiled as I watched her lean over, hugging her mount around the neck. Sunshine was in rough shape. Four scars where his fur grew in thin patches extended down his back. He gained them, as well as lost half his tail, to an unknown source in my home country of Askance. Alice never seemed to mind though. She loved the lycan like a living teddy bear.

    A dirty blond boy leaned over, reaching to tap Grizzlefur on the shoulder. The lycan cub turned, watching as he pointed to his stomach.

    "Raymond says he''s hungry."

    Some of the other kids nodded in agreement. "Let''s go play invasion in the kitchen." An eight-year-old named Angelica suggested, pulling her skeletal frame on one of the larger cubs. The others did likewise, bounding off in the direction of the servant''s corridors.

    "You can come if you want, Jared," Taurus called, before disappearing around the hallway''s corner. I looked in the direction he shouted, finding the eldest of the children of the apocalypse standing near my throne.

    I gestured for him to come closer. He trotted down the short set of stairs. I was dismayed to see him trip on nearly every step, perhaps just as much as it pained me to see draining fluid already staining the side of his white shirt. The leather covering his hands creaked as he wrapped his arms around his waist. "My queen."

    I studied his bruised features before speaking. A bandage covered half his jaw, masking where his curse had eaten away his cheek. "You needn''t address me formally. None of the others do."

    He gave me a strained half smile. His face was missing the muscles to do much more. "Dessy, then."

    I smiled in return, though it lacked much sincerity. It was difficult to have good humor while watching Jared''s own poison eat him alive. "The others aren''t shunning you, are they?" I asked in nearly a whisper.

    "No, no," Jared said, shaking his head, "They''re really welcoming, all of them. I just sort of ostracize myself..." His gaze dropped to the floor. "I figure it''s better this way. I''m too dangerous."

    I crossed my arms. "Alice and I are skin givers, too. We''ve never had any issues."

    His half smile was back. "Yeah, well, your brand doesn''t have the same side effect."

    My heart hurt. He hadn''t been this bad when he arrived five months ago. I knew what it was like to have my body fail on me, to be slowly killed by my own curse. But to watch his living flesh slowly rot from his bones, I could only imagine the horror. Yet, he never complained. Jared only worried he was a burden.

    Raymond''s extreme exhaustion. Taurus''s itching skin. Angelica''s inability to gain weight. They all weighed on my conscience. Caroline''s heart beat like a rabbit. Jeremy sometimes saw terrifying visions, like dreaming while awake. The more powerful their drug, the worse the symptoms. I felt guilty I didn''t share their pain, but I had, and was certain it would return soon enough.

    It was the blindness that scared me the most. I didn''t want my world to go dark again.

    This was Howens¡¯s fault. I didn''t care how he wished to punish me. For my past crimes, I deserved untold suffering. But if he had any sort of decency, he would have delivered Dr. Aster upon reading the lycan''s note for the children''s sake. They did nothing wrong, only had the misfortune to be born with an old world curse running through their veins.

    "I sent more lycans out this morning," I told him quietly. "We''ll cross the mountains as soon as possible. We''ll fight a full on war if need be, but we will cure you."

    The boy shook his head. "For the others, not for me. I don''t have long left. I can feel it."

    My chest collapsed and my stomach recoiled as if physically struck. "Don''t talk like that. The warm winds are blowing. The melt won''t take that long."

    "I won''t harbor fool''s hope."

    Screams. The sound echoed down the hallway the children had gone through. I knew what it was. I knew there was nothing I could do to help, to think on them would only bring me more stress. But I couldn''t stop myself from running in their direction, seeking out their source.

    I bolted through the hall, turning in the kitchen and weaving between metal countertops until I reached the little girl I was seeking. I scooped Alice up into my arms, hugging her close to my chest. Her screams rattled my eardrums, but I didn''t care. I rocked her back and forth, hoping to bring some comfort through the haze of pain her migraines brought her.

    The other children stood by, disturbed by her screams but unwilling to leave. So they stared blankly at the white walls surrounding us, or the plates set out in preparation for supper. Anywhere but the wailing toddler in my arms. Sunshine''s chest heaved with his silent whine. Grizzly Fur laid down, paws pressed over his ears as he glared at the floor. Taurus was shielding his own mount''s sensitive hearing as they waited for the episode to pass.

    It did pass, much slower than I wished it too. She still was crying afterwards, sobbing into my jacket as I continued to rock her. I felt so helpless. I had taken over a whole country and freed a race of canines, which now willingly served under my command, yet couldn''t help one girl. I couldn''t help any of them, not without Dr. Estil''s cure, and he was impossible to reach until the snow melted.

    I almost wished I stayed in my castle full of bones, or better yet, been sentenced to execution rather than banishment.

    Many people in Askance would still be alive. The wild lycans would still run the mountains. The captive lycans and children of the apocalypse would still be prisoners in Preene, but I would never know about it. I''d be dead.

    I put Alice down. She stumbled over to Sunshine, who caught her in gentile claws. The others started murmuring among themselves, some questioning or offering words of comfort to the suffering girl. She took deep breaths and did her best to reassure them she was fine, but I could see by the way she clutched at Sunshine''s fur she wasn''t.

    I lost count of how many times I had done the same to Cerberus.

    Jared stepped back from his position in the doorway to let me through. My steps were slow and heavy as I slouched down the hall. After a moment''s hesitation, the boy followed me as I made my way back to my throne room. I didn''t know why I had the sudden urge to sit on my high seat, but I severely wished to pass some laws. If only I could think of any. My mind was a wash of gray water, any thoughts were clouded from my sight.

    The commotion in the throne room distracted me from the efforts of swimming through my own mind. I was grateful for it. For a while, it was all I could do to process the scene presented to me.

    The lycans gathered in a tight circle, hackles raised and teeth barred in soundless snarls. At their center was their albino alpha. He had something pinned under his paws, though it was impossible to see through the mass of furred bodies. I pushed my way into their ranks, weaving my way to my companion.

    The man trembling under Cerberus''s paws looked to be just as any other, with black hair, a slight beard and tanned skin. Three white streaks were bleached across his head, but dyed hair wasn''t uncommon in Preene.

    Crimson eyes met mine, reading my unspoken question. Cerberus''s lip curled back over elongated canines.

    "This man smells of Askance."

 Chapter 40: Interrogation

    I stretched, spaying my fingers high above my head before rolling my shoulders back. The setting sun sent light through the stained glass window, painting the room in an orange glow. My gaze lifted with my head, settling on the man tied to the chair in front of me. My hips swayed as I stalked forward.

    "Lovely evening, isn''t it?" I purred as my knees hit the edge of his seat, "Puts me in the mood for an interrogation."

    The man swallowed. "Why me, my Queen?" His winter coat was filthy with dirt and blood. Judging by the scrapes up his arm, Cerberus had dragged him quite a ways.

    "Your queen?" My hands gripped the back of his chair, allowing me to roll my knees up onto the seat. "Am I really your queen though? Because I have it from a reliable source that you smell like a certain Askance."

    The color drained from his face. "I-I don''t know why. I''ve never been there... The lycan mountains..."

    I frowned. Cerberus gave a low snarl. I leaned forward until my mask''s nose touched his. "Don''t lie to me. Please me, and I''ll give you pleasure beyond your wildest imagination. But displease me..." I purred, then sat back, looking down on his wandering eyes. A smirk crossed my face as they flicked back up to meet mine. "Well, you already know my hellhound can put you in a world of pain."

    Cerberus growled to emphasize my point.

    The man began to breathe heavily, though if it was fear or something else was a guess. I suspected it was a mixture of both. "Pleasure...?" He panted, eyes alternating from my mask to my chest, "Wha-what kind of pleasure?"

    "Yes, I was wondering that as well," a voice echoed from behind me. I flinched, though I mentally jumped from my skin. I resisted the urge to whip around, instead swinging one leg back, standing and turning on my heels in one smooth motion. Cyrus was leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. One eyebrow raised as he looked to Cerberus. I glanced over to see the lycan''s hackles half raised.

    "Surprised I managed to sneak up on him," he continued, "I wasn''t even trying."

    I let an easy smile hang on my lips, though I knew my act didn''t fool him. Still, I had to keep it up for the prisoner. I couldn''t let my ex-manager ruin the fantasy I had created in this old meeting hall before I managed to get any information. In fact, I planned on using him.

    "Cyrus," I trotted over to greet him. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling myself to his chest. "You''re back. I''m so happy. Did you bring anything for me?"

    Cyrus''s frown deepened. He knew what I was doing. "No. We didn''t find anything."

    "How disappointing," I pouted, stepping back but keeping my hands on his chest. "And where might Crimson Claw be?"

    "Down the hall," he huffed. He pushed my hands away. "Sniffing out a good bone or something."

    This was my chance, a way of laying down the rules to this fantasy. Yet I couldn''t deny it was just a tiny bit of revenge, though for what I couldn''t say. Either way, I stepped back, gaining the space I needed to swing my leg forward, kicking him in the gut. Cyrus stumbled, tripping over the threshold and falling on his back.

    "What the hell-?"

    "I told you to stay with him!" I barked, placing a boot on his sternum, "Not down the hall from him! You are to stay within eyesight. Is that so difficult, you useless human?!"

    "What?"

    "Who is your queen?"

    "You are-"

    "And I expect to be obeyed. So you stay here until I dismiss you, and I may, possibly, think about forgiving this misdemeanor." He tried to sit up. I slammed the heel of my boot into his chest, perhaps a little harder than was strictly necessary. "No. Don''t even get up. You will stay exactly as you are. Is that clear?"

    He glared at me, but made no further movements. "Yes, My Queen," he bit out.

    "Good," I snapped, stepping off him and marching back into the room. Halfway across, I paused to take in a deep breath. I needed to collect myself, to focus on the task at hand and not let Cyrus distract me. I was interrogating an Askcan prisoner. This was more important than anything at the moment.

    My eyes opened, focusing on the man tied to the chair. "Now, where were we?" I asked in my sweetest tone. The heels of my boots clunked on the stone floor as I returned to my previous position, straddling my prisoner. "Ah yes, I remember... Pleasure." I rolled my shoulders again. "Surely Howens told you about the particular kind of pleasure I can give."

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    "Howens gives us minimal information," he breathed, "Even Eemeli, he doesn''t want us to know more than necessary."

    It was working. My teeth grazed along my finger, biting down on the tip. The leather slipped from my hand before falling to the floor. Just for the briefest of seconds, I touched my middle finger to the bridge of his nose.

    The man drew in a sharp, shuddering breath. I waited for a moment, allowing him to come down from his high, then leaned in close again. "Don''t you want more?" I whispered in his ear. "And all you need to do is tell me what Howens wants to hear about Preene..."

    His body was trembling. He was panting, eyes unfocused. The man''s mouth worked a few times before he was able to produce words. "Nothing... Nothing in particular. Just politics, economy, military affairs... Anything we find, really. Keeping an eye on the neighbors, he said..."

    "But surely he has a reason." The intricately carved fur designs on my mask pressed to his cheek, though I was careful to deny him skin contact. "You must have some inkling... Just a suggestion of a suspicion..."

    "Well, I always get this impression that he is looking for some weakness."

    "Like he is planning on attacking?"

    "Possibly," he said, then spoke in a firmer tone, "Yes, that''s what I believe."

    A rustle from the doorway. I supposed Cyrus had enough of laying on the floor and chanced sitting up. He never took my games seriously.

    "That''s very good," I said, running my gloved hand up to his face, the other resting on his shoulder. "I am very, very pleased." Cyrus was watching, but I didn''t care. Somehow, knowing his eyes were on my back spurred me on. I tipped my mask''s nose up just enough to press my lips to those of my prisoner.

    "Anything else you want to tell me?" I said, pulling away just enough to speak.

    "Yeah..." His dazed murmur brushed against my neck. "My name... is... Luis Lexing."

    I slid off the chair, standing and taking a few steps away. "That''s nice." My gaze switched to the alpha lycan. "I''m done."

    Howens''s spy was too drugged to cry out as the canine pounced on him, knocking the chair back to the floor. Any pain he experienced would be impossible to express with Cerberus''s jaws clamped around his throat, crushing his esophagus. The lycan gave a slight twist of his head. The man''s spine dislocated with a muffled crack. Long claws tore at his coat. The fabric ripped open, exposing pale skin beneath. I turned away just as Cerberus grabbed hold of his bicep. It was difficult to ignore the sickly squishing sounds the meat made as it was being chewed.

    "Get up." I booted Cyrus''s thigh as I passed. "And don''t interrupt an interrogation again."

    Wood clattered under my feet. I paused, briefly studying the remains of the door. There was hardly any left in the palace. I wondered if a lycan had managed to lock themselves in, or if it was simply caught in one of their daily brawls. Either way, it seemed I would have to round up a few brave carpenters to fix some of the damage my legion caused.

    So, Howens was looking for weaknesses in Preene. Askance was nowhere near strong enough to take the larger country by force, not to mention no where near as technically advanced. To bother would be throwing away his military, leaving his own country open to attack. Even if he moved at an opportune moment, he stood little chance of victory.

    Then there was the matter of the head trainer, Eemeli. If there was a spy so close to the king, perhaps there were others. I would need to be cautious of all officials from here on out, even more so than I already was.

    It might be easier to dispose of them entirely. I wasn''t too fond of politicians, anyway.

    Then again, simply removing them from office may serve the same, and look better in the public''s opinion. Making an example of known criminals was one thing, but it wouldn''t do to appear unjustly cruel. I couldn''t deal with Howens if I was busy resisting a revolt. If I elected commoners in their place, raised simple citizens to power, they would be much more likely to stay loyal.

    My thoughts were cut as I was pushed against the wall. Strong hands gripped at my shoulders. I looked up into storming gray-blue eyes peeking above black fabric.

    "Sealing ideas from Cerberus now, are we?" I growled, glaring up at him.

    If Cyrus was amused, he didn''t show it. "It seems the only way to get your attention. That or be your prisoner, apparently."

    "It never turns out well for them."

    "I thought that too," he huffed, "So, I was wondering, after all the loyalty I''ve shown, why I''m still in the same boat as Luis in there."

    "You''re not tied to a chair-"

    "No, I don''t get those kinds of perks." He set his jaw, prominent even through the fabric cover, "Look, I''m not going to just abandon Claw. We''re friends, partners, so it''s not that big of a leap of faith. All I''m asking is for a little trust."

    I blinked. "You know that was just part of my persona. You don''t really need to be chained to Claw''s-"

    "Desire, I know when I''m being followed."

    "Right..." I had hoped he wouldn''t notice that. The captivebred lycans didn''t have the experience stalking like their wild cousins did.

    Cyrus sighed, temporarily releasing my shoulder to pull down his mask. He tugged my wolf off. "Listen, I wasn''t surprised at first. But after months, you should know that I would do anything for you." I tried turning my face away. He grabbed my chin in sheepskin gloves, forcing my gaze to stay fixed on his. "Cerberus trusts me, I wouldn''t be standing here if he didn''t, so why can''t you?"

    I closed my eyes. I couldn''t look at him. His face showed too much. I couldn''t answer that. If I did, I might have to look for answers to questions I would rather avoid.

    "Really?" Cyrus nodded. He let go of me, stepping back. I turned my back to him. His mask was pulled back up, covering his frown. "You know, you can''t run from your issues forever. It''s screwed up a lot of people. Screwed up the whole world once."

 Chapter 41: Underground

    "I''m not sure if this means you trust me more or less."

    Spring may be upon Preene, but the air was still crisp with a winter chill. Snow was still pushed into alleyways and side streets, though the embankments had shrunk by at least a foot over the past week. The people surrounding us were still bundled in fur coats and cloaks.

    "It means I''m curious, that''s all."

    The man raised an eyebrow. I gave him a cool stare in return.

    "Anyhow," he sighed, turning back to the street he was guiding me down, "I''m afraid you''ll be recognized, even without your mask."

    I frowned. "I wear it as often as you. The public''s never seen me without it. Even if they did, it''s not like there are cameras to broadcast my face to everyone."

    Cyrus nodded. "Something probably better off lost to the old world, for our sake at least."

    I trotted to catch up to him. My head tipped as I fell in step with his fast pace. "I''m surprised you got that reference. It seems Preene''s motto to forget the old world entirely."

    He shrugged. "A few things they kept, everything else they buried."

    A voice called out from the street corner. I turned toward the sound. A man with held up a stack of papers which, judging by their bold type, had been printed on a printing press. He immediately noticed my staring and waved us over.

    I would have ignored him, not allowed a commoner to interfere with our business, had it not been for the pair of women standing next to him wearing wolf masks. Both were remarkably similar to mine, save for the fact mine was white, while theirs were modeled after brown and black lycans. I tugged Cyrus''s sleeve, dragging him over.

    "Hello young woman," the man greeted. "I can see in your eyes you are a loyal citizen of Preene." He handed me one of his fliers. "I hope you can see which side you should really be on."

    I gave him a kindly smile. "And which side would that be?"

    "Why, allied with our great queen, of course." He clasped my gloved hands. "Her methods may be harsh, but she will save us from the old world''s fate."

    I noticed he dressed much plainer than most of Cicil''s population. His winter robe was decorated with dull greens and browns, colors I was familiar with in the mountain forests.

    "Those rebel fools may preach a patriotic speech, but we mustn''t forget they fight to reclaim the wealth she has distributed amongst us common folk. We mustn''t forget how she lessened our taxes, removed corruption, even turned the lycans to our allies. And mark my words, young miss, this is only the beginning. We must support her, worship her, do all we can to show her we recognize these changes and are grateful."

    "Grateful for letting the lycans loose?" a voice from behind us called out. I looked back, spotting a man marching toward us, his bearded face set in a deep set frown. "Do you have any idea how many people have died because those monsters are running free? The rebellion groups will save us, not some psychotic bitch who seduced and murdered our king." His bright yellow jacket matched the beads braided in his hair.

    My preacher''s expression soured. "I wouldn''t speak too loudly, good sir. The queen has a way of finding those disloyal to her. As for the rebellion groups, she will soon crush them."

    "You lowly filth disgust me," the bearded man hissed. He stepped closer, leaning so close to my preacher their noses brushed. "You better watch what you say too. The rebellion has a way of making an example of men like you."

    "I''d be honored to be a martyr then."

    The bearded man balled his hands into fists. He pulled his arm back. My preacher didn''t flinch.

    Cyrus caught the man''s arm mid swing. He turned on my ex manager, glaring. Cyrus leveled him with a cold glare. "I know rebels aren''t all that great with numbers, but I''ll point out you''re at a disadvantage here."

    The man yanked his arm away. "We''ll see how you all love your ruler when you''re being eaten by lycans," he growled softly as he turned, marching down the street. "All worship the savage queen."

    Cyrus nodded. He took my hand in his, tugging me along with him. I leaned back, just managing to whisper in the preacher''s ear before he pulled me away.

    "Your loyalty will be rewarded."

    The man stared as I was dragged down the street. I shot him a conspiratorial grin, giving a small wink.

    "All worship the Savage Queen..." he murmured.

    I was smiling all the way to the market. Cyrus cast a wary glance over his shoulder as he guided me through the crowds.

    "What are you so happy about?"

    "I just solved a problem," I said, all but skipping along behind him. "Anyway, where are you taking me?"

    "Here." He pulled me into a shop. It took me a moment to recognize it. Last time I was there, the place was filled with whips and muzzles. Now it sported jackets, pouches, and water-skins. However, the man sitting in the corner was unchanged. He stood, towering over both of us.

    "Cyrus!" Roshaun laughed, spreading his arms out to embrace the man. "And My Queen, incognito, I assume?"

    "Uh, yes," I answered, unsure of why Cyrus brought me to the leather shop. I glanced around. Hopefully, the collapse of the training industry hadn''t hurt his business too much.

    "We have important business underground," Cyrus said. The leatherworker released him with a grin.

    "Right, right, I won''t hold you up then."

    "Thanks, Roshaun."

    I followed him through a covered doorway into the back. My nose was immediately overwhelmed by the scents of tanning chemicals and salt. We hurried between racks of curing hides, turning through a workshop roughly twice the size of the shop until Cyrus abruptly stopped. I stepped beside him and looked down.

    There at our feet was a trapdoor. A cast iron latch rested on the wood, though it was unlocked. Cyrus looped his hand through the heavy ring attached to the center, lifting the door up and open. He shot me a self-satisfied smirk.

    "In Preene, the underworld is literally underground," he explained, reading my unasked question in my expression. "The old world cities had no space for public transport, so they ran trains underground. When Cicil was built they buried them, but didn''t fill them in." He stepped in the hole, then turned to take my hand as I entered after him.

    "The subways," I said. He nodded.

    The man produced a metallic stick from his pocket, squeezing a gel handle similar to the electric whips the trainers used. A light shone from the end, illuminating the stairs below. Cyrus began to lead me down. "This building was built on an old station. Claw and I already dug up some of the others around the city, so the lycans can come as soon as we locate our target."

    About halfway down, I began to make out a light shining from around a corner. "How did you even find these?"

    Cyrus laughed. What I thought was the end turned out to be a landing, marking where the stairs took a turn. "Find out? I found out there was an above ground. I grew up here."

    The room at the bottom of the stairs was long, narrow, and lit with a mixture of flickering electric lights and camp fires. But by far more shocking was the thirty or so makeshift tents set up along the wall, no doubt housing for the people who wandered between them.

    Cyrus glanced to me. "Ever wondered why there are no homeless on the streets of Cicil?"

    Some of them stared as we walked past. Most simply ignored us. They were dressed in worn, stained clothing, most likely discarded by the wealthier members of society, as appeared to be the case with most objects in the camp, including the food.

    "I feel so bad for them," I whispered.

    "Don''t," Cyrus snorted. "It''s a lifestyle. Most could get out if they wanted, others live it so they don''t need to hide their illegal activities."

    "So are..." I lowered my voice. "Are these the people we''re after?" I didn''t consider myself a good judge of character, I had been fooled too many times to think myself less than na?ve, but these people appeared more impoverished than threatening.

    "No, most of the people here are harmless. It''s the ones a few stations over that we''re looking for." We hopped into a ditch with three metal rails which extended in either direction through tunnels. He started down the left-hand side. "I know someone in the black market that arranged a meeting with the guy we''re after. He''s supposed to have a couple children."

    "Right..." I sighed. We walked in silence for a few minutes, him guiding me by my sleeve, me occasionally tripping over one of the rails. Eventually, I learned to walk behind him. Then, I got tired of the quiet.

    "So, you lived down here?"

    "Yeah, for a long time I was underground more than above it. Fell in the wrong crowd, got in league with the wrong groups, started nicking stuff from the palace, so on..." I felt his arm move, which I assumed to be a shrug. "Until Roshaun took me on as an apprentice. It was there I discovered I wanted to be a manager... After I discovered I sucked at leatherworking, that was." He laughed.

    I chuckled. Add that to the list. Cyrus was fearless, actually got on well with the lycans, especially Cerberus and Crimson Claw, and was good at managing money and sneaking into places he wasn''t supposed to be. I thought perhaps getting to know him better would make me trust him more. I wasn''t sure if it was working or not.

    "Where were your parents for all this?" I questioned, though I had a feeling I knew the answer.

    This time Cyrus''s snort held a kind of bitter humor. "Most folks down here aren''t the parenting type. I doubt my mother even knew who my father was."

    "Oh," I bit my lip. My heart sunk for him, even though he simply confirmed my suspicions. The underground world of Preene reminded me far too much of the ghettos of Askance. "Sorry to hear that."

    "I''m certain my childhood wasn''t any worse than yours."

    I paused. Was he showing sympathy for me? I couldn''t remember anyone else doing that, ever. No one who really meant it, anyway. They usually told me they understood how hard it must have been, but they didn''t. And here Cyrus was, so easily acknowledging my captivity without comparing his life to mine. The irony was of everyone born without a drug, he was the one who could best comprehend us.

    It made me want to punch him in the back of the head. It felt like self defense. It felt like he suddenly knew me too well, like he had gotten far too close.

    But instead, I wrapped my free hand around my waist and walked in silence once more.

    ***

    The next station we reached was nothing like the first. Certainly, there were a few tents, and the people were equally raggedy, but the atmosphere was completely different. Malice hung in the air like the cigar smoke I choked on. I could immediately taste the sin on my tongue as well as spot a dozen substances illegal in Askance. There were quite a few crates lying around, some being used as seats, others broken up to feed a barrel fire.

    "There," Cyrus pointed to a woman with a half shaved head, smoking a cigarette on a scorched barrel. Besides being a little rough and uncolorful by Preene''s standards, she looked rather normal. I wouldn''t give her a second glance on the streets aboveground. She lifted her head at our approach.

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    "Hey Cye, brought a little friend I see," she laughed in a voice ruined by the smoke. It bothered me she used the same nickname for him as Alice did, almost as much as knowing she willingly allowed herself to become addicted to those rolls of tobacco. Didn''t she see, being here of all places, what that had caused humanity to lose?

    "Is he here?" he asked, all business, nothing like the cheerful, overly expressive Cyrus I knew.

    She stood, flicking away her cigarette and waving us to come. I caught the woman''s sideways glance to him as she passed, the way her eyes appreciated his strong arms and defined features. But she didn''t know him, not the real him, not the one who was friends with lycans and served the Savage Queen.

    Then again, maybe she did know him. Maybe she knew another side of him, the Cyrus that had grown up in the subways. She knew the underground Cyrus, the man I was just learning hid underneath the wannabe manager.

    "What''s her name?" I asked as she led us to a different part of the station.

    Cyrus blinked, staring down at me in confusion. He knew I didn''t care much for names, especially of people I considered unimportant, and this woman was definitely of no consequence to me. "Uh... Rachella," he answered back.

    I frowned. I already decided I didn''t like Rachella. However, the name she introduced next made me forget all about her and any possible relationship she could have with Cyrus.

    "Here he is Cye, Mr. Khomakov."

    My skin went cold, but my blood was boiling. My head suddenly hurt so bad I felt it was going to explode and when it did, I was going to gouge this man''s eyes out with the claws I now had for fingers.

    No wonder Cyrus told me this was a mission I would have special interest in. Over half the children made some mention of Mr. Khomakov, or ¡®Mr. Khom¡¯, in their past, none of them pleasant.

    He was wearing a flamboyant pink shirt. In the old world, pink had been considered a feminine color, but Preene didn''t have such prejudices. His skin was wrinkled and tanned, as well as sported a series of tattooed words. Of the few I read I found them to be symbols and passages from several old world religions. His dark eyes scanned over us, me more closely than Cyrus.

    "Rachella said you have business." He examined me head to toe again. "I assume you''re wanting to sell her?"

    I stepped back. How did he know? Had Cyrus said anything? Was this part of the plan?

    "Yeah," my ex manager replied without hesitation. I choked down a sharp breath. Was this part of the plan? Why hadn''t he told me?

    Was this a plan, or was he really selling me out?

    "She''s a skin-giver, no negative side effects, and has yet to show any degeneration," Cyrus continued on, "So I''ll want top dollar for her."

    Should I be panicking? I couldn''t decide if I should run or not, or howl. If I howled, the lycans waiting would come running. Unless he lied about that too...

    "I want to feel it first. I''m not about to go believing you got a class A adult giver without some proof."

    "But the addiction-"

    "Son," Khomakov fixed him with a hard stare, "I''ve got so much shit running through my system it all blends together now. One more hardly matters."

    "Right," Cyrus sighed. "Alright Sophia, touch him."

    I tipped my head. Sophia? Maybe he was just acting out a plan...

    "Come on Sophie..." he growled.

    Even if he was though, I couldn''t touch another person. I already played that game with my addicts and learned it was far too dangerous, even if I won.

    "I can''t..."

    "Damn it Sophie." He pulled something from inside his coat, something sleek and metallic, something I hadn''t seen since Estil. I gasped. The gun was pointed in my direction. "Don''t make me ask again."

    He had a gun? When did he get a gun? I was with him since this morning, when we ate breakfast in the hall with the lycans. Surely they must have smelt it, something different on him. Unless it had always been there, tucked away.

    But Cerberus knew what a gun smelt like. If Cyrus had it on him, he would have known. He would have told me, warned me.

    Unless he thought I would do something harsh. I had only seen guns used against lycans; he knew I would turn against anyone who had one. Maybe he hadn''t told me because he knew I was liable to have Cyrus executed without thinking.

    If Cerberus trusted him enough to ignore the fact he carried a gun, the most threatening weapon to a lycan, then perhaps I should afford him my trust as well.

    The glove I pulled from my hand weighed more than a mountain in my mind. I reclaimed my steps forward, reached out, and tapped the exposed skin of Khomakov''s forearm.

    The man waited a moment. Then he drew in a sharp breath, shuttered, and exhaled on a smile. "That''s some potent stuff she''s got there. She put me in a good mood. I''ll give you whatever you want for her."

    "Three of your other kids, my choice, sound fair?"

    "Perfectly." Khomakov grinned. Rachella had disappeared off somewhere, thankfully, so it was just Cyrus and I that followed him back into the tunnels.

    I expected him to lead us to another station, maybe back above ground. But the place he brought us was neither; it was a train. The rusted metal hung off the frame. The windows were boarded up with rotting wood. Discolored paint chips crackled under our feet as we stepped into its compartments.

    The first three we passed through were like ratty living rooms, each containing several men chatting or lounging on the couches and chairs. They gawked at me, but I didn''t care, their interest was more a danger to them than it was for me.

    The next two, open to each other, were fashioned after a playroom. There were four kids in each, six to eight by the looks of them, all clothed in little more than sacks. I bit my tongue to keep from blurting out, I wasn''t sure what I would say. Maybe I would howl. But I couldn''t howl, not yet. I needed to know where they all were first.

    And if Cyrus was worthy of my trust.

    "These are all blood-donors," Khomakov explained with a dismissive gesture of his hand. "Most will make you feel good, one way or another. Those two over there," he pointed to a pair of girls watching us, "The twins have a pretty minor effect, but they''ll help you stay awake for hours. Problem is they start wailing if you separate them. I''ll give you a two for one if you want them." He glared in the direction of another with particularly long, ratty hair, "And he''ll make you giggle at the stupidest of jokes. Just don''t eat anything first or you''ll puke your brains out."

    "Right, right," Cyrus said as if he was actually considering some of them. He better not be considering any of them. "Got any more? What about skin givers?"

    "Just the two out back. One''s a skin-giver."

    "Let''s see them."

    Khomakov grinned. "Looking for the best huh?" He waved us on. As we passed through the playrooms the children scampered away from us, their wide eyes trained on their captor. The last of the compartments was by far the bleakest, lit by neither candles nor electric. Dark walls that appeared scorched framed the barred cages surrounding us, two of which were occupied.

    The boy looked up at our approach, a seven-year-old with hair and face so filthy it was impossible to tell what color they were supposed to be. The girl, perhaps slightly younger, remained laying on the floor, seeming not to notice our presence.

    I remembered a time I was like that, a point in my life I no longer cared who came into my cage to poke me.

    "He gives you a nice rush, makes you feel like superman. You''ll get stronger, long term... and stupider too," Khomakov laughed. "He''s more of a hired goon''s type, if you know what I mean." He gave the boy a disapproving glare, as if it were his fault his drug came with such side effects. "He''s a blood donor, but his skin''s so damn brittle it cracks if you so much as poke it. As for her-"

    He paused, glancing over the girl. She appeared to be sleeping, though she could simply be feigning it to be left alone. The man seemed to come to this conclusion too and opened the door. His boot pressed into her side, moving her, then swore under his breath. Her body shifted, but stayed in the same position, stiff.

    "Well, I guess it doesn''t matter what she did. Bloody shame, what a waste of money," he huffed. "I was hoping to unload her before she kicked the bucket."

    "Mr. Khom?" A small, timid voice spoke up. It took me a moment to realize it came from the boy. "What''s wrong with Amber?"

    "She''s dead."

    The boy burst into tears. The man growled at his wailing.

    "Shut up!"

    The boy stuffed his fists into his mouth, quieting his sobs. His chest heaved as silent tears continued to roll down his cheeks, falling off his chin.

    "So, ''fraid I got no skin givers for you," Khomakov said, herding us out of the room and through the playrooms. "Would you be interested in hearing about some of the others?" We stopped in the first of the lounge areas.

    The men surrounding us had needles full of red liquid. A few were injecting it in their veins, while several others were passed out on the couches. But I couldn''t bring myself to care about them, I was too busy trying to erase the image of the girl laying on the cold floor in the back, to forget about her curly red hair and cute upturned nose.

    She reminded me far too much of Alice, and it scared me. It shook me to the core of my heart.

    "Well, I really was hoping for a couple of skin givers," Cyrus said. "Say, why don''t I front her to you for a few weeks while you find me some. I know they''re pretty rare."

    Khomakov''s black eyes grew as wide, his eyebrows scrunched up close to his hairline. "You would do that? Why?"

    "Truth be told, I got a couple of guys asking me to track down skin givers for them, but I don''t have your connections. I got lucky stumbling across her, but none of them could afford a fair price, so I figured a trade for some cheaper merchandise would be my best shot at getting my money''s worth." He shrugged. "But I don''t want her eating my profit while I''m waiting around. Figured that can be your problem."

    Khomakov grinned. "Ah, I get it now. Sure thing. Don''t you worry, I''m a man of my word."

    Cyrus gave a smile in return. "Oh, I''m not worried in the slightest." He twirled his gun around his finger. With that, he stepped out of the train and disappeared into the darkness.

    What? He was really leaving me? I fought the panic rising in my chest, the sudden feeling of constriction. I had to trust him. Cerberus trusted him.

    But I couldn''t see this as anything less than a betrayal.

    The moment he was gone, Khomakov descended upon me like a vulture, the goons he spoke of not far behind. "I don''t think you''ll be needing this down here. It''s not all that cold," he said, pulling my winter coat from my limbs. His eyes scanned my leather suit with more appreciation now that the bulky clothing had been removed. "Seems you''re all covered up, you can stay up front with us." He shoved me into one of the low-lying tables. The corner caught my shin, causing me to trip and fall on a couch. Now I fought tears of pain as well.

    From my new position, I noticed a woman I hadn''t seen before. She lay passed out in a reclining chair, a smoking cigarette hanging between her skeletal fingers and several empty syringes scattered around her. My attention was quickly drawn away by the two men sitting down, one on either side of me.

    "Well hello there gorgeous, what exactly is it you do?" one cooed, his rotting teeth nearly touching my ear. I swallowed.

    I needed to remain calm. Yes, this may be exactly like my life in Askance. Possibly Cyrus had betrayed me. But I suffered through both before, and I hadn''t had Cerberus then. I knew the albino would track me down as soon as he discovered I was missing. I just needed him to return from the mountains. This wasn''t permanent, a day or two at most. I just needed to wait. In the meantime, I could gain control of the situation.

    Deep breath. Steady. Calm, cool, collected, confident. I could do this.

    "I make you feel really, really, really good," I purred, leaning in to the one who had spoken. Never mind the fact his teeth were black and yellow, or that his breath reeked more than his clothes. "No catches. Not even an overdose. I''ve never killed anyone before."

    "I don''t believe you," the other said, though I could see by his crooked smile he was intrigued by the idea. His skin was broken by open sores and bruises healing in discolored patches.

    "Well, why don''t you try it yourself, then? Let me prove it to you. If you''re brave enough, that is..." I leaned against him. I wondered how many I could get to pass out before they realized what I was up to. But first, I needed him to touch me long enough for that.

    I really hoped I wouldn''t need to kiss him.

    The compartment rocked with a dull thunk. Everyone paused, looking up toward the sound. Another, then two more. Then... silence.

    Wood was ripped from the glassless windows. A massive canine head thrust through the splintered opening.

    Suddenly, the entire train was rocking with the force of the lycans. They clawed their way in, tearing wood from the metal framing or pushed their way through the narrow doorway. The children screamed. The addicts conscious enough leapt to their feet, grabbing whatever weapons were within reach. A table leg. A knife. A chair. None were a match for the lycans'' strength.

    The woman and I were the only ones who remained seated, her passed out and me dizzy with relief. They came. The lycans were here.

    A flash of white. I looked up, finding my hellish guardian not six feet from me, fur flowing over thickly muscled limbs as he overpowered three humans.

    "Cerberus!"

    He turned to me and froze. A deep snarl rose in his chest as his upper lip lifted to reveal predatory teeth. Sharp metal pressed to my jugular.

    The woman was missing from her chair.

    "Stand down, dog," a surprisingly deep, gruff female voice barked. Cerberus growled, but sat down. His haunting eyes followed her movements as she repositioned herself closer to my side. A short knife dug into my skin. "Khomakov''s an idiot. I knew the rebellion would draw the new queen underground."

    Cerberus stood up, snarling. The blade pressed harder to my throat. "Get back!" she warned. He chuffed, then roared.

    A sickly wet clunk. The pressure on the knife relaxed, allowing it to glide harmlessly over my neck. A second clunk, louder and heavier than the first. I chanced glancing back.

    Cyrus stood there, saber in hand. The weapon''s edge was buried in the wood behind it. Below him, the woman lay, head cut separate from her body.

    He glared down at me. "I hope you trust now that I would do anything for you."

    "I never-"

    "I could see the hurt in your eyes. For someone constantly putting on a show, you''re awfully bad at recognizing acting."

    I didn''t know what to say to that. It was true; this wasn''t the first time I had been fooled by my own game. Knowing he had simply been acting a part, working a situation to enact my orders, it changed everything. I wanted to hug him and kiss him.

    And poison him to death.

    I turned to Cerberus, who dropped back down on all fours. "You''re supposed to be in the mountains..." I had to say something or risk looking like a scolded child. It didn''t work.

    "My Lady." My hellhound gave a nod of his head. "The mountain pass is clear."

 Chapter 42: Mountain Pass

    Cold winds swept between the mountains, bending the saplings and blowing dead leaves over the ice covered snow. The dull crunch of the frozen sheet being broken echoed through the valley accompanied by the occasional huff from the lycans. Trees groaned as their tops swayed in the breeze. The white expanse around us was broken by the occasional splash of green pines and the gray of boulders peeking through the snow. One such rock was split, ripped in half by the maple roots that claimed purchase inside it.

    The babbling brook we stopped beside was the same I had first met Cyrus by. He rode a sorrel horse then, never imagining a human capable of riding a lycan. He had yet to meet the deep chocolate male that lapped the freshly thawed water from the very brook he once intended to fish. At the time, it was doubtful Claw would be capable of carrying such a weight, and certainly not for such an extended amount of time.

    Of course, this was a much higher elevation than he planned to travel. This was closer to where Cerberus and I encountered a bear, when we first decided on traveling the rest of the way to Preene. Well, Cerberus decided. I had been perfectly content to spend the winter in the mountains.

    Across from us, Alice was a ball of furs, huddled close to Sunshine. The tan lycan wore a coat of his own, kindly fashioned by Roshaun and secured to his scarred back via the leather harness the girl clung to. Beside her, Jared slouched over his own mount. His hood kept most of his face hidden, but I could see his face clearly enough in my mind. I pictured it without the bandage, when his teeth were visible through his cheek and it could be seen he lost most of an ear.

    They wouldn''t die. Jared may say he didn''t have much time left, but there was enough. We would cross these mountains and find Dr. Aster and get the cure.

    The army on our tail would be sure of that.

    I looked over my shoulder as if I could somehow see them from here. We ventured out ahead, but I knew about a mile behind us was a regiment of a thousand lycans, just as it had been before. However, before that was my entire force. I hadn''t had an additional two thousand lycans gathered from around Preene, nor the twenty thousand human men accompanying them. They would arrive a few days after us, allowing us to access the situation in Askance before we announced our presence.

    Cyrus echoed my thoughts, "I hope they get on okay."

    "I''m sure they will." I was assuring myself as much as him.

    "Don''t you think it reckless, electing them with no experience then leaving them to manage Preene themselves?"

    I sighed. It seemed he wasn''t thinking of our troops as I was, but rather the new council members I enstated shortly before our departure. "They''ll be fine. The lower officials are still in office, and I feel more comfortable with commoners who believe in my rule than those other, questionable council members."

    Cyrus shook his head. "I''m not sure if those fanatics are going to turn against you or start a religion in your name."

    "Oh, they won''t turn against me, the lycans I left will be sure of that. The guardsmen too." An increase in wages made me quite popular among the initially reluctant military. I smiled. "Though I do fancy the second option. Being a queen is all well and fine, but a goddess is a definite step up isn''t it?"

    My former manager rolled his eyes, turning away and giving his mount a slight kick to the side. The lycan lunged forward, then stopped while dropping his shoulder, effectively throwing his rider. Cyrus crashed through the icy sheet to land in the powdery snow beneath. He sat up and wiped the white from around his eyes.

    "Sorry Claw, it''s a habit."

    I snickeredd. This was the third time this trip Cyrus had been tossed for treating Crimson Claw like a horse. The lycan shook his head before trotting to the man, kneeling so he was able to swing himself on.

    Jared and Alice were already heading up the steep hill we had descended from, back to the trail that ran along the mountain¡¯s ridge. They were closely followed by River. Cerberus stretched underneath me. I could feel the power coursing through his limbs as he bounded after them, pursued by Crimson Claw. I savored the feeling. It brought me no small measure of relief knowing he had fully recovered from his fight with the bear.

    The wind was worse on top of the ridge. It kept up for hours, pestering us as we passed from one mountain to the next. I didn''t mind though; I was grateful for the foul weather. It reminded me of the previous spring spent with the wild lycans and, more practically, it blew the snow from our path, making travel much easier. Unbidden, my gaze wandered down the rocky slopes, then out over the landscape. My breath caught in my throat.

    I could see it. We were on one of the largest mountains in the chain, so tall that, standing in the position we were, I could see the opposite side of the next mountain over. And I could see it, my castle.

    The fortress I once called my ''Evil Lair'' stood like a gravestone on the barren slopes. It was so much closer than I expected. Was it really that deep into the mountains, or had we simply traveled that far? It was difficult to tell; Cerberus and I wandered aimlessly in the wild for weeks, and I had never ridden straight through. Either way, we were close, close enough that I could see which of the windows were broken and which were intact.

    I squinted. There was something moving down there. It was dark and definitely larger than a man. I may have dismissed it as a moose had it not stood on its hind legs, momentarily scanning the surrounding area. Then it bounded into the castle and disappeared from my sight before I had a chance to examine it further.

    It was probably a bear.

    "Desire, you okay?"

    I turned. Cyrus had a look of concern on his face. I forced a smile, nodding. "I''m fine."

    He frowned. "Did you see something? You were staring."

    I looked back. We were too far now; the castle had disappeared from sight.

    "Yeah, my old castle." I focused on the path ahead. It was the best way to hide the tears stinging at my eyes. "We''re getting close."

    "That''s great." He grinned, though his voice bore a sympathetic undertone. "I''ve never been to Askance before. How different is it from Preene?"

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    "Very." I made a big show of looking up to the scarlet sky. "It''s getting dark. We should look for a place to camp."

    As if sensing my unease, Cerberus bounded forward to inform the others, effectively ending our conversation.

    ***

    We made camp at the base of a small cliff that reminded me far too much of the one Howens once kidnapped me through. I kept unease to myself though, knowing there was little chance we would find another place that offered enough shelter from the relentless wind. Cyrus had just finished our fire when the rest of our pack arrived. He and Jared set out to organize a few more for the lycans to lie by. While he was gone, I decided to wander through the resting canines.

    One thousand of them. Their furry forms dotted the landscape, breaking the expanse of snow between trees. I had always marveled at the growth of the wild lycans, going from rare legends to a healthy pack close to two thousand in the seventy something years since the official apocalypse. I never dreamed just a few mountains over there was a country that bred their population over five times that.

    They lifted their heads as I approached. Some offered nods or even a silent yip in greeting. I wished they could talk, that their voices had never been cut away. My mind supplemented the words that should have been there.

    My Lady.

    My Queen.

    Crunching snow.

    "Desire."

    I jumped, abruptly broken from my fantasy by a very real voice. I spun in its direction, facing the man who spoke. Cyrus tipped his head as he approached me.

    "Cerberus and Claw came back. They couldn''t find a deer, but rounded up enough rabbits for a decent meal. Jared says they''re almost done."

    He placed a hand on my arm when I didn''t respond. Even through several layers of fur and fabric, the contact still sent an electric shock through me. I had always been keenly aware of being touched, but this was different. I didn''t want to pull away.

    I wanted him to touch me more, to pull me in and hold me tight. To whisper how everything was going to be fine in my ear.

    And still, I drew back. Even were I to take Dr. Aster''s cure, what happened that night could never happen again. There was no use thinking about it. The risk was too great; that was all there was to it. I could get him addicted¡­ or kill him.

    Just like Darrius.

    "Desire?" he repeated. He had that concerned look in his face again. He appeared for all the world to be a cub, begging its mother for its first taste of her kill.

    "Let''s go then," I muttered, brushing past him. Only where my shoulder hit his did I truly feel alive. The rest if my body was numb from the cold.

    Alice was singing when we arrived back, her usual made up song set to the tune of another''s melody.

    "Up and over mountains,

    Across rivers we run,

    Through forests and flowers,

    Under the setting sun.

    But I got a Sunshine sitting next to me,

    He stays by my side even when the sun''s not out to see.

    He doesn''t make rainbows,

    And he doesn''t live in the sky,

    But he carries me where I need to go,

    And helps all my tears to dry.

    Cuz I got a Sunshine sitting next to me,

    He stays by my side when the sun''s not out to see..."

    I smiled. Alice may not be a prodigy singer, but she certainly had a way with words. And she definitely had at least one fan. The tan lycan sat beside her, listening patiently to every word. His eyes never left her. The only indication he noticed our presence at all was a momentary swivel of one ear. Then his focus was entirely upon his small companion.

    I hoped he hadn''t touched her.

    As soon as the thought entered my mind, I dismissed it. Cyrus already explained most children of the apocalypse didn''t possess a drug powerful enough to addict the user as rapidly as mine. Besides, it wasn''t longing that filled the lycan''s eyes; it was utter devotion.

    I turned, then stumbled back in surprise. That same devotion was reflected in red irises.

    "My Lady," Cerberus greeted. He rolled back into a squatting position, reaching over to grasp the stick of a roasting rabbit. He offered the meal to me. I took it and sat down, not daring to meet his gaze again.

    "It''s always really strange when you do that."

    "Do what?" I glanced to Cyrus, glad for the excuse to look away. "Give me food?"

    "Act human," Cerberus supplied. The alpha lycan moved behind me, resting his heavy head on my shoulder. "He¡¯s thought of us as mindless animals too long."

    "Listen, you can''t deny you look the part, Hellhound, with the eyes and blood on your chin."

    "All the better to eat you with."

    Cyrus nearly fell from the log he was sitting on. "If you''re telling me you can read..."

    I laughed, reaching back to bury my fingers behind his ear. I was surprised he remembered the old world fairytale I told him. That was a long time ago. "Don''t worry, they still got some dogish traits." My nails scraped against skin. I felt the muscles of his leg tighten.

    "Really?" Cyrus eyed Crimson Claw before ripping a leg from his rabbit, throwing it past the lycan''s ear. "Fetch."

    Claw considered him for a moment in return, then shoved him off the log. He neatly caught the rabbit in his claws. Cyrus climbed back up just in time to see the lycan rip a chunk from the carcass''s side.

    "Hey! No! Bad lycan! No more belly rubs for you."

    Crimson Claw offered a silent snarl.

    "Okay, fine, less belly rubs. Once a week, sound good?"

    The tossed leg bounced off his forehead.

    "Twice a week? More belly rubs? What do you want, lycan?!" Claw relented and dropped the stolen rabbit back in Cyrus''s lap. The man immediately took a bite from the other side. "But really, not happening. Your anatomy is much too human for that. I''d feel like I was rubbing another guy''s hairy abs." Another bite. He was talking with his mouth full again. "And I don''t care what you say, not going to be scratching your butt either."

    I was laughing so hard I was crying. My sides hurt, but I didn''t mind. My whole body was filled with a pleasant pressure, as if I were bursting at the seams with energy yet completely relaxed against Cerberus''s chest. Until I noticed the form sitting quietly off to the side. Concern deflated my high.

    "Jared, you alright? You haven''t said a word."

    The teenager lifted his hood slightly to shoot me a reassuring half smile. "Yeah, just tired, that''s all." He hesitated, then, "Well that, and thinking about how nice it is to finally have friends."

    That made me pause. Was that what this was, friendship? There was no denying I had quickly become attached to these humans, the lycans as well. They made me happy, and I felt the urge to protect them, shield them from any harm. Was this friendship?

 Chapter 43: Shirah

    I recognized the first town we encountered. Not the buildings, many of them were torn to the ground, but the location and the barren fields surrounding the outskirts. It took me a moment to put a name to the town.

    "This is Whenfair. This was where we used to get our flour..." I explained in a hushed voice. "But it wasn''t like this..."

    Half the buildings had been leveled, their remains scattered in a path of destruction. It appeared as if some great force tore its way through the center of the village. It must have happened some weeks ago, judging by the timbers half frozen in the melting snow and the casual way the people strolled past. They still hadn''t noticed us; we were well hidden in the trees.

    It was better to not be noticed. We should have slipped around and headed straight to Obria, but I couldn''t shake the curiosity as to what befell the town.

    The lycans would draw too much attention. "I''m going by myself,¡± I announced.

    "No." Cyrus and Cerberus said at the same time.

    I sighed. "Whatever did that could be a threat. We need to know what it was."

    "Then I''m coming with you," Cyrus volunteered, following my actions as I slid from Cerberus''s back.

    "No." I held up a hand to stop him, then sent him a sly smile. "A lone woman is more likely to loosen men''s tongues."

    "They will recognize you, My Lady."

    My gaze softened. I ran my fingers through the fur if of the alpha''s cheek. "Not without my mask. Besides, I''ll stay in your sight. I''m just going over there." I pointed to an area that seemed to have become the makeshift town center, the original being in the heart of the destruction. Before either of them could argue further, I slipped my mask into my traveling bag and jogged down the short slope.

    I soon stood alone in the junction between roads, surrounded by the villagers I once terrorized. I bit down the instinctual horror at being in such a situation and concentrated on the task at hand, looking as lost and innocent as possible. However, the first one to approach wasn''t an interested man, as I predicted, but a woman about my age, perhaps a bit older.

    "You''re not from around here, are you?" She asked. She wore a loose, though still fitted outfit comprised of black and brown fabric and accented with a camouflage pattern. Her clothes, coupled with her dark skin and frizzy, ink black hair, made her ideal for blending into the spring foliage. The pack slung over her shoulder and many pouches sewn onto her pants told me she was a traveler as well. "Journeying through the mountain villages?"

    "Yes, though I''m afraid I''m not sure which one this is..."

    "Whenfair," the woman supplied. "Where is it you''re heading?"

    I deliberately chose a village on the opposite side of the area. "Stressil, I have family there."

    The woman gave me a regretful smile. "Well, you''ve really lost your way then."

    I sighed. "I was afraid of that..."

    She hesitated, as if suspicious, then held her hand out. "I''m Shirah, by the way."

    I made a conscious effort to keep from hesitating as well. We both had gloves on; there was no need to worry. I took her hand and shook, sending her a friendly grin in return. "Sophie." I glanced back to the ruined building behind us. "So, any idea what happened here?"

    "I asked the same question when I got here."

    "And?"

    Shirah bit the inside of her lip. "You don''t happen to have any money, do you?"

    I blinked. "No." Cyrus had all the money we brought. I hoped she wasn''t asking for a bribe. I hadn''t thought of money buy information. Usually, a little acting or the threat of Cerberus was enough to make people talk.

    She shrugged. "That''s alright, in that case, let me buy you a drink. This little cafe here serves some nice coffee."

    "Coffee?" I asked as we strode through the door. It wasn''t smart to go in a building where Cerberus couldn''t see me, but I was intrigued by the offer of a drink previously banned in Askance.

    "Yeah, it''s imported from Detris." She led me through the tables set out in a dining area. I was careful not to brush anyone as I passed. "Howens rebuked the ban as soon as he got in office. It''s just about the only thing we can be grateful for in his reign."

    The table we sat at was in the corner, not far from the back door. The area was mostly unoccupied. It was the table I would have chosen, private and with an easy exit. It seemed Shirah and I had similar tastes.

    As soon as we were seated, a waitress waltzed over with a couple of cups of steaming black liquid. I supposed it was like the taverns of Preene; there was no need to ask for which drink we came for. I copied Shirah and added some of the sugar and milk provided.

    The taste was unlike anything else I had before, sweetened by sugar and made creamy by the milk. But what I most liked was the way the warmth of it slid down my throat, spreading throughout my chest before settling in my stomach.

    The waitress was gone and Shirah leaned over the table, speaking in hushed tones so we wouldn''t be overheard. "It is my understanding that Whenfair claims to belong to the territory of the Lycan Mountains, not Askance."

    I bit down on the lip of my mug, causing my teeth to scrape unpleasantly on the porcelain. "But I thought the Lady of the Lycan Mountains was a cruel dictator," I said, wiping off the coffee I had managed to splash on my cheek.

    Shirah nodded solemnly. "True, but not as much as Lord Howens. Besides, she hasn''t been heard from in nearly a year. Right now, they''re just trying to escape the draft."

    Worse than me? It was true Whenfair had been one of my more submissive towns, and so suffered very little of my wrath, but surely they didn''t look fondly on my demand for tribute, only to have it burned on the mountaintop. Surely he could do no worse than me.

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    I remembered the destruction of the town center. Had that been Howens doing?

    But, instead I asked, "A draft? For an army?"

    "The first few months he was alright, and with the Lady and her lycans gone, the people around here were hopeful for a peaceful winter." She shook her head. "But as soon as the season hit, he became worse. He demands much more than the people can supply, and that every man, even some woman, join his army." She stared into her coffee, pausing a moment before continuing, "There are rumors going around that he plans on fighting Preene. We might not know much about it, but everyone knows Preene is twice Askance, at least in population. That''s why they''re so desperate to avoid the draft."

    I took a few sips of coffee. "And what does this have to do with the destruction outside?"

    Shirah pursed her lips, frowning. She started to speak, stopped, started again, then stopped. Finally, she simply blurted it out. "The villagers told me it was a bear."

    I scoffed. "A bear? A bear couldn''t do that." It would take a pack of lycans a week to cause as much damage as outside.

    "That''s what I thought too, but they insist when they refused the draft, Howens unleashed a giant bear on them." She sighed. "I wouldn''t have believed them, but a lot of the villages on the border have the same story."

    It was my turn to stare into the swirling liquid of my coffee. There was no way a bear could have done that. Even a grizzly of unusual size wouldn''t have the strength to rip a building''s frame from its foundations. That would require one of the old world''s machines.

    And if Howens controlled that much power, it was quite possible he could level our army.

    "What about you?" Shirah suddenly interjected. "Are you traveling with anyone?"

    "Huh?" I picked up my head. "Oh, yeah. I am."

    She considered me for a moment. "Can I join you?"

    I actually laughed at that. "I''m afraid you really wouldn''t want to."

    "Embarrassing, or rough sort?" She eyed me with a knowing sidelong glance. "Or lover?"

    I couldn''t stop the heat coming to my face. Why was I suddenly thinking of Cyrus? "Rough sort," I answered before she got the wrong idea.

    She smirked, then shrugged. "I don''t mind the rough sort. It''s better to be with them than run into them, I say."

    We both chuckled at that until my attention was caught by the sound of a closing door. I looked up to the bar, catching sight of the cook who exited the kitchen. I recognized him. I knew that hobbling walk, for I had been its cause. Judging by the way his face paled when he met my eyes, he recognized me as well.

    "Hello, Henry," I said quietly. He heard me though, or at least knew what I said.

    "You said we could stay free," his voice was a whisper, but in the sudden quiet of the cafe, I heard every word.

    "I did." I didn''t bother keeping my voice hushed this time. Everyone was already listening anyway. "Meeting you here is pure coincidence."

    "Henry?" One of the men seated on a barstool asked, looking from me to the cook and back again. "Who is this?"

    Henry swallowed before answering. "She is the Lady of the Lycan Mountains."

    In an instant, the quiet of the cafe became a dead silence. I stood up. I wouldn''t deny it. All my time in Preene, I had kept my past a secret, an unanswered question that only Cerberus knew the entire truth. I wouldn''t run from my past this time.

    "Now Queen of Preene as well," I announced, loud, clear, and confident. I reached in my travel bag, pulling out my mask and tying it to my face. "Perhaps this will jog the memory of those who have yet to recognize me."

    There was a full minute of nothing save tension in the air. Then, an explosion. Everyone was talking at once, some fretting, many yelling. They were screaming in outrage. I thought back to the man preaching my name like that of a goddess. It was almost comical how different people''s reactions could be.

    "Ridiculous!" A feminine voice above the others. I turned to see Shirah balling her fists. "You''ve been claiming her as your leader, yet you reject her now that she is here?" Somehow, she managed to catch the attention of the crowd. "I know she did some bad things, but if she really is Queen of Preene, she is our best chance of fighting Lord Howens!"

    "She set her lycans on us!"

    "They killed my son! They ate him!"

    "But she doesn''t have the lycans now. Perimone killed them all."

    Though the statement twisted my insides into a knot, I smiled. "Oh, I wouldn''t count on that..." I drew a deep breath, then threw my head back.

    A hand clamped over my mouth, trapping my howl in the back of my throat. I snarled and bit down on the flesh of the palm. The voice which cried out was definitely female, and familiar. I had little time to think on it before the thumb and index finger clamped around my nose, closing off my nostrils.

    I struggled to breathe. The person''s grip loosened, no doubt from the poison, but stayed firm. They had felt its effects before. I ripped my gloves from my hands, casting them away and reaching back to grab at the rough skin of the woman behind me. Within the moments she released me and fell to the floor.

    Rosie. The open wound Thorn gave her had healed into a nasty scar. I wasn''t sure she was still breathing. I didn''t care. I had never been fond of my former nurse.

    A savage cry. I looked up just in time to get sprayed in the face. Shirah shoved the man away, yanking her little dagger from the side of his neck. She flicked the blood from its double-edged blade before tossing the weapon. It stuck in our next attacker''s thigh.

    "You''ve cast your lot in with me now," I remarked, frantically searching for my own daggers hidden in my travel pack. I should''ve kept them in easy access. I cursed my own stupidity.

    Shirah had somehow produced half a dozen throwing knives, flinging them this way and that. I was more interested in the thin metal ring she twirled around her finger. My curiosity was sated when she released it and the ring buried deep in a man''s chest. We rushed out the opening created to the back door.

    "Whatever. I always get mixed up in the wrong sort anyway," she huffed as she pulled yet another set of throwing knives from one of her pouches. "You wouldn''t happen to me needing an assassin or bodyguard would you?"

    My fingers closed about my whip. I yanked it free, not thinking as I leapt at the man behind Shirah. The leather looped around his neck, allowing me to pull myself up onto his back. The man released the mug he had raised to clutch at the leather. He stumbled. I let go, rolling out of the way as he fell back.

    Somehow, in all the commotion, I spotted a dark form in the woods. But those woods were on the opposite side of the village, far away from the slope Cerberus and Claw waited on. Even so, I could swear it was a gray lycan.

    I was quickly distracted by the need to defend myself. It was probably just the villager''s mythical bear.

    "Hardly," I drew in a deep breath, and howled. The answering howl was immediate. Screams announced the lycan''s arrival. I grinned at the confused girl by my side. "But seems they''ll lynch you now, you can come along."

    My albino guardian burst from around the corner. He clawed wildly at anyone unfortunate enough to stand in his way. My fingers found fur as he galloped past, allowing me to vault on his back. We skid to a halt and turned to see Crimson Claw bound around the corner, Cyrus brandishing his saber. Upon seeing me on Cerberus they whirled around and began clearing a path back.

    I reached out, grabbing Shirah''s arm as we passed. I yanked her up onto my guardian''s back. She screamed, but held tightly to Cerberus''s winter coat as he ran up the steep slope. I could feel him labor under the added weight, he just managed to keep pace with Crimson Claw the short way back to camp.

    At the first sign of slowing, Shirah released her hold. She rolled through the snow, jumping to her feet and pulling another throwing disk from her pouches. Neither of the lycans paid her much attention.

    Cerberus bucked, throwing me off into the snow. I tried to sit up, only to find him standing over me. He snarled, exposed teeth inches from my face.

    "What were you thinking?"

 Chapter 44: Reunion

    "Get back!"

    "Stop." Shirah''s war cry was cut off by Cyrus grabbing her arm, preventing her from throwing her disk. He cast her a somewhat wary glance. "They always do this. You get used to it."

    "But he''s-"

    "He won''t hurt her." The man nodded to himself. "Listen, that lycan would sooner give his life than let any harm come to his lady. This is just the hellhound''s way of showing he cares."

    Cerberus paid no mind to either of them, instead focusing his red glare on me. "You''re a fool!" he barked. "Why did you to leave my sight?"

    "Coffee," I answered calmly.

    The lycan drew back, head tipped in confusion.

    I sighed. My fingertips pressed into his chest, pushing him back as I sat up. "It''s an old word drink with caffeine, addictive, so it used to be banned. I was curious and wanted to try it."

    He growled, but didn''t argue further. I attempted to stand. His paw-like hands caught me around the shoulders, keeping me still as he leaned forward. A dark pink nose traced over my chest and neck, then each arm. Only once he was satisfied with my well being did he release me. I almost laughed at how simultaneously he could be both human and canine.

    I got to my feet and brushed the snow from my clothes. Cyrus was next to approach. Without a word, he strolled over, pushed up my mask, and promptly flicked me in the nose. I jolted back, though the impact was somewhat muffled by his sheepskin gloves.

    I growled as I up one of my bare hands, red from the cold. "I will touch you."

    Cyrus grinned. "I hope that''s a promise."

    I huffed, then began to rummage through my open travel bag for a spare set of gloves. I hoped they hadn''t fallen out during our flight.

    "Excuse me?" We all glanced to Shirah, who stood, still uncertainly clutching her throwing disk. She swallowed as she lowered it to her hip. "Sophie, are these your-? I mean, are you really...?"

    Cyrus turned to me, grin still plastered over his face. "Sophie?"

    I ignored him as I moved to her, offering my newly gloved hand. "Desire, Queen of Preene and Lady of the Lycan Mountains."

    She nodded. "I''m really Shirah, in case you were wondering. Not that I blame you for hiding." She gave a somewhat sheepish smile. "I don''t suppose you''ll be wanting the likes of me hanging around, huh?"

    "The likes of you?"

    "I''m not exactly a high class, upstanding citizen." She shrugged. "I wasn''t kidding when I said I always get mixed up with the rough sort."

    I tipped my head, sending her a smile in return. One of my warmer ones, without the malice that so often accompanied them. "Surely my reputation precedes me here, so I have no room to judge. Besides, rough sort or not, you saved my life and I-"

    I stopped, listening to the long, low sound echoing across the mountains. It covered the valley like a blanket, calling the attention of everyone present.

    A howl. Too deep to be a wolf''s.

    A lycan.

    My eyes met Cerberus''s. We hadn''t brought any cubs young enough to have their voices, and the sound definitely came from an adult. He should have been the only one capable of producing such a howl.

    Suddenly, I was running, vaulting on Cerberus''s back as he spun around. No sooner had I secured myself than he took off, bounding in the direction the howl came from. I vaguely heard Cyrus yell after me. I yelled back a command for him to stay with Shirah, though I was fairly certain Cerberus was running too fast for him to understand..

    I had given up hope. I had tossed it away the moment I left my castle; abandoned it on the leg of my throne with my discarded mask. It was gone the instant the true Lady of the Lycan Mountains fell with her pack. My hope had fallen that day as I gazed on countless dead lycans in my hall. I dared not pick it up again until I saw him.

    The modeled gray lycan ahead of us was no captivebred. He stood taller than Crimson Claw, closer to Cerberus''s size. He bounded with the assurance of one who knew the landscape. We followed him until we reached our destination. He led us to them.

    There were so many, much more than the pieces of shattered hope I held in my hands would have ever let me believe. Fifty, if I had to hazard a guess, mostly females and cubs, though I could see several males as well.

    They were beautiful. Tall, muscular, the way a lycan should be. They gathered around small fires, some gnawing on bones. They stared, but none seemed particularly alarmed at our presence. They lounged around as if nothing ever happened, as if they had always been here, simply waiting for us to arrive.

    When our guide turned around. I knew the yellow of his eyes, just as I knew the blue of the female standing beside him.

    I didn''t think. I didn''t hesitate or consider or pause for the briefest seconds as I jumped from Cerberus to run to them. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to throw my arms around the gray male''s neck.

    I could feel the tension run through his shoulders, then relax. Graniteback pulled away to send me a wolfish grin. He bowed, as did Nightmoon beside him.

    "My Lady Desire," he spoke in that wise, strong voice I thought I would never hear again, "you have returned."

    I was crying. I couldn''t stop myself, neither did I care. Nor could I stop myself from laughing as tears ran rivers down my cheeks and blurred my vision.

    "You''re alive!" I choked. It was hard to breathe with my chest so full. But it wasn''t stones I felt, it was air, lifting me to my toes and driving me to hug the lycan again. "I thought you were dead! I thought you were nothing but frozen bones in the castle hall!" I wailed pathetically. They must have been quite confused; the old Lady of the Lycan Mountains would have never allowed her legion to see her in such a state. But the old Lady of the Lycan Mountains didn''t care, not like the Savage Queen did.

    "We searched for you, My Lady," he said, accepting the embrace. "For months we tracked footprints, but only found each other."

    "I''m so sorry I abandoned you!"

    "You are mistaken, My Lady," Nightmoon spoke. She hung her head. "We abandoned you."

    I stared at her a moment, then switched to hug her neck. "I started a war you paid for. I am relieved beyond belief any of you survived." I combed my fingers through the back of her neck. My hand snagged on something. I glanced over her shoulder, finding a silvery owl feather tied in her black fur. "What''s this?" Some of the others had them as well. It was then I really noticed the light and heat that blanketed the area, despite the setting sun. "When did you learn to make fire?"

    Graniteback stood up, looking over the hillside, dotted with the dugout dens of the lycans. "We missed the fires of the hearths. We learned many things from watching the humans in your service."

    I scanned the area as well. Besides the fires, there were gathered piles of timber and crude mud walls to shield their den''s entrance. When I looked back, Graniteback and Cerberus were sniffing at each other¡¯s shoulders.

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    "Blood Eye."

    "Graniteback."

    The two males momentarily sized each other up, lifting their heads to appear taller. Finally Graniteback stepped back and bowed his head. "Alpha."

    I breathed out a sigh. Graniteback had been alpha before Cerberus and doubtlessly held the title now. The two brawled for years before he accepted his defeat. From the looks of things, Nightmoon was currently his beta, though chances were she would challenge him soon, being he was one of the eldest lycans in the pack.

    The others¡¯ ears alerted me to the approaching company before I heard him call for me. "Desire! Desire! There you are!" Crimson Claw slid in the snow, nearly throwing Cyrus in his haste to avoid colliding with Cerberus. I sighed at the pair''s antics, though couldn''t help but laugh at his comically slack jaw. "What- who- what?"

    "Cyrus, Claw, these are the wild lycans of the mountains."

    ***

    The fires made by the wild lycans were warmer than any human could have made. Or perhaps it was that the warmth came from within, spreading from my fingertips to toes every time I happened to look around me.

    Crimson Claw, possibly the largest of the captive lycans, stayed close to Cyrus, wearily watching his wild cousins. A little way further, movement caught my eye, drawing to my attention to where a white striped female stood, comparing her height to that of River. Nightmoon inherited her sire''s stature, though wasn''t quite as bulky as Thorn had been. She towered over the captive female, who at six two, stood more than a foot shorter. But far more amusing was Alice, sitting not too far away, explaining to a very patient Graniteback about Sunshine and her friends back in Preene. The tan lycan had his arms wrapped around the toddler as she sat between his knees. His eyes never left the wild male and I had no doubt he wouldn''t hesitate to fight Graniteback, should he so much as snarl at the girl.

    "Is she your daughter?"

    "What?" I blinked, staring at Shirah before finally processing her question. "Oh, no. I just sort of take care of her. I... I can''t have children..." I had never really thought about it, though it was a fact I had always known. It was part of the fairytale I wasn''t allowed to have.

    Somehow, my gaze met Cyrus''s. He wasn''t acting silly, teasing Crimson Claw as he had been a moment ago. His eyes were soft, not pitying but, understanding. "You could, with the cure."

    I looked away, wrapping my arms around myself. Unbidden, an image appeared behind my eyelids of a couple children, a daughter with dark hair like mine and a couple of sons, both with expressive faces just like their father. I squeezed my eyes tighter, forcing away the image. I couldn''t let myself get caught in a fantasy. Any child mine would most likely be dead in the womb, poisoned by its own mother. Or worse, inherit my curse.

    "No," I practically whispered. "It''d be too dangerous." I don''t know what possessed me to think Cyrus would want to have kids with me anyway.

    Silence. Shirah shifted, seemingly uncomfortable with the sudden tension and eager to change the subject. "And so, ah, do people get paired off with lycans in Preene or something like that?"

    "It does seem to work out that way, doesn''t it?" Cyrus said, releasing me from his stare and grinning at Crimson Claw. The lycan bared his teeth in an imitation of the expression, though he looked more psychotic than amused. The man laughed. "Only those of us brave enough to hang out with them though."

    Cerberus rested his chin on my head. His chest''s fur was like a blanket on my back, warming where the fire couldn''t reach. "Humans are good companions, if a little slow on the ground."

    "What about me?" All eyes were on Jared, who had yet to speak since arriving in the wild lycans camp. Even so, he had a happy half smile as he continued on, "I''ve just been riding whoever can carry me." He shrugged. "Maybe I''ll break the mold and find a girlfriend- I mean- ah-" he laughed at himself, "female lycan, not ah- you know."

    I chuckled, glad he was joining the conversation and not continuing his self-imposed ostracism. "Keep up that chatty attitude and you''ll find yourself a friend in no time."

    He shrugged, though the action seemed to pain him. "It''s just as well if I don''t. I don''t exactly have a lifetime to spend with them like you."

    "Why''s that?" It was Nightmoon who spoke. She fell on all fours, padding forward to better examine the human boy. She sniffed at his clothes.

    "Oh, wow. You have pretty eyes," he blurted out. Nightmoon stopped, staring up at him. Jared laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry, I didn''t mean to say that aloud. I meant to say it''s a curse. I''m a child of the apocalypse and kind of past that time when we tend to die off. Past due, you could say."

    "You smell of rot." That was Nightmoon, blunt and honest.

    "Yeah... That would be the curse," Jared admitted, hanging his head. "It''s kind of killing me."

    Her ears went back. I waited for the scorn, or perhaps a growled demand this diseased human be run from the camp. But she didn''t. Her ears flicked forward and she studied him with pupils ringed in stunning blue. "I''m sorry."

    "Don''t be," he huffed, his cheery demeanor gone as soon as it had come. "It''s not your fault."

    "Are you afraid?"

    Hesitation, then, "Yes."

    The female lycan considered him once again before turning and situating herself beside him. Jared looked as surprised as I felt. I had known Nightmoon for half her lifetime, never would I have thought her to be so friendly towards a human.

    Then again, neither would I have thought to end up here, sitting where I sat and thinking the thoughts I did. So much had happened; I was far from where I thought my path led. Perhaps to the same destination, but no longer with a selfish motivation.

    I guessed the past few months had changed all of us.

    "Fear is terrible," Nightmoon suddenly said. "Almost as bad a guilt."

    I could attest to that.

    Jared didn''t understand as well as I did. "But what could you be fearful of? Or guilty?"

    She let out a long breath, closing her eyes. "Last fall, the lycans fought a battle for Lady Desire against the army of Askance. We were severally outnumbered, and when it appeared all was lost, we fled and abandoned our lady." She bowed her head. "Many of the females here were assigned to watch the cubs, yet those of us that fought, then ran, have been fighting and running from the guilt since."

    "But I already told you I forgive you!" I interjected.

    She turned those moon blue eyes on me, nearly as striking as the crimson of Cerberus''s. "Yes, My Lady, but can we forgive ourselves?"

    I was silent. I didn''t know what to say. I knew exactly what she meant, exactly how she felt. It was likely years from now and a thousand apologies later, the guilt would still be there. I didn''t doubt it would stay for the rest of her life¡­ and mine.

    "What about you?" I didn''t know why I asked Shirah that. "You said you get mixed up in rough folk. What exactly rough folks are you talking about?"

    "And Cerberus here eats people, so don''t be afraid of judgment with us," Cyrus interjected. "And I grew up in the subway, so we got all our bases covered."

    Somehow I was angry that he said that, as if his past were supposed to be secret shared only with me. I tried not to let it bother me; he could tell anyone anything he wanted about his childhood. Still, it felt like a thorn digging into my side.

    Shirah shrugged. "I grew up in the ghettos of Askance. Never really had much. Poor childhood. Developed a talent for throwing sharp objects. Served various employers, everything from hired thug to assassin. Somehow, I figured I wanted out of it and ended up here."

    Cyrus grinned. "I know that story. Been through that same song and dance."

    Now I wanted Shirah to stop talking. I didn''t want them to have that much in common. I wanted him to be my friend, my underground servant, my manager, anything so long as he was mine.

    Actually, I knew exactly what I wanted him to be, but that could never happen.

    What was wrong with me? If they got on well, I should be happy for them. I wasn''t entitled to Cyrus. I didn''t deserve the chance to ruin his life with my impossible fantasies.

    Claws tightened around my shoulders. I craned my head back, staring into the concerned glow of my guardian''s eyes. "What troubles you, My Lady?"

    "Nothing, just a little tired, that''s all."

    I could tell my the way he looked at me he didn''t believe me and would question me again once we were alone. I found I was quite looking forward to it. I needed to release my problems on someone else, someone I trusted, and Cerberus always bore the weight so well.

    The object of my anxiety decided to speak. "So I suppose you''re going to go off and snuggle somewhere?"

    I frowned. "What do you care?"

    He raised an eyebrow. "A man can''t be jealous?"

    Yes. I wanted Cyrus to be jealous. I wanted him to lie alone each night, wishing with all his being to trade places with Cerberus. I wanted him to miss that night he held me. I wanted him to compare each and every night to that and have none compete.

    "There are plenty of uninhabited dens. I''m sure the two of you can sniff one out." Graniteback said.

    I stood, smiling despite my need to escape my fellow human''s presence. "Thanks." I turned, then paused, looking back at the wild lycans present. "Oh, and Graniteback?"

    "Yes, My Lady?"

    "I missed you, all of you, more than you could know."

    There was a knowing glint in his yellow irises. "Trust me, My Lady, we know."

 Chapter 45: New Beginnings

    He brought me to a cliff face that appeared to have experienced a landslide some years ago. The smooth hill created was riddled with a network of holes. Yet what caught my attention the most were the eyes, all fixed on me, some yellow, others brown. Lycans. Males, females, cubs, they all watched me with keen intensity.

    The massive white male bumped my back with his head, urging me to follow a well worn path up the hill. Some of the nearby lycans leaned in to sniff at my clothes. I flinched away. Behind me, I heard my guide snarl, causing the others to back off.

    Near the top of the hill was a particularly large entrance, decorated with exposed roots and what looked suspiciously like drag marks leading inside. A scrap of soiled fabric clung to the edge of a rock beside the opening. The white lycan trotted past me, stopping by the hole.

    "Here," he growled.

    I nodded before bending over to crawl my way through the short passage. Almost immediately upon entering I lost my footing, tumbling down a small embankment into the borrow. I quickly sat up, just in time to see the lycan step down after me. His back brushed the ceiling as he stood on all fours. His deep crimson gaze glinted in the low light.

    The scent of damp earth invaded my senses, along with something much more pungent. I didn''t dare look away to investigate.

    He began to pace around me in a small, tight circle. His nose poked harshly into the fabric covering my back. I stiffened, but restrained my urge to cower away.

    "That feeling," he finally said after a minute of pacing and poking. "You did something to me. I want that again."

    I swallowed. He wanted my poison. He brought me to his den and now kept me for a taste of my drug, just as they always did . But I wouldn''t be a slave again. I wouldn''t bow to this creature, despite his fierceness. This time, I would be the master.

    "I''m hungry," I stated in a clear voice, free from the hesitation and fear which ran rampant in my mind. "Get me some food and I''ll give you what you want."

    The lycan stepped in front of me and tipped his head as he considered my offer. I sat tall, stilling my trembling as I met his gaze with confidence.

    "Stay here," he commanded. "The others will not enter my den. Scream if you''re in danger."

    I nodded. The lycan gave a short nod in return. He turned, then climbed out of the borrow, disappearing from my sight.

    Only once I was certain he was gone did I glance around. It was too dark for me to see properly, however, I could make out a vaguely yellowish form not too far from me. I dragged my hands along the dirt, fingers occasionally catching on small roots and rocks until they closed around the object. It was large enough to fit comfortably between my palms. The surface was rough in some areas, smooth in others. I lifted it to the light streaming in the entrance.

    My breath caught. Bile rose in my throat as I dropped the object, kicking it away with my foot. A human skull. Bits of dried flesh still clung to the bone. Some of the rougher patches bore evidence of gnawing.

    There were a few other light shapes around the borrow, but I was no longer curious.

    Murmuring. I glanced up at the entrance. Two voices were speaking too low for me to make out what they were saying. Shadows moved over the light. Soft growls. A slim, canine face appeared, locking me in its predatory glare.

    I stared back, determined to hide the pounding of my heart with false confidence. I had been told, or possibly read, never to break eye contact with a wolf. Surely it was the same. Besides, the white lycan told me they wouldn''t enter his den.

    The canine lifted its lip, baring its teeth as it let out a low snarl. I stiffened, but dared not look away. I mustn''t break eye contact. I mustn''t back down.

    A large, paw-like hand stepped into the entrance. I drew in a sharp breath. Should I call the white male back? The lycan rocked forward, as if debating on entering or not. The white male had only been gone a matter of minutes, would he still be close enough to hear?

    "Come out!" the lycan demanded. Her higher pitched voice told me she was female. Claws, long like those of a bear, dug into the borrow''s entrance, creating deep furrows in the soil. "Come out!" she barked.

    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    I crossed my arms, lifting my chin but keeping our gazes firmly locked together. My heart may be pounding adrenaline through my veins but I refused to cower against the wall. I wouldn''t let her intimidate me. I refused to be a slave ever again.

    The female clawed at the borrow''s walls, growling and starling. She lurched forward, letting out a bark that flashed her teeth. I flinched, but didn''t move. She stepped back, then mock charged again.

    A sharp, growling bark echoed out over the hill. The female backpedaled, turning her attention to an unseen threat. Her ears flattened against her head as she bore her teeth and braced her body a split second before another form crashed into her. They tumbled from my view in a mess of snarling barks. A moment later, high pitched whines sounded along with a deep chuff. A shadow scampered across the borrow''s entrance, tail between their legs. Then another, larger shadow momentarily blocked the light.

    The white male dropped down into the den. He leaned forward, placing something at my feet before backing up and sitting. Red eyes settled on me.

    I reached down to pick up his offering. My fingers were met with silky fur. He had brought me a rabbit. I looked up, meeting his gaze.

    "Thank you."

    The lycan nodded.

    My knees pressed into the damp soil as I stretched out, hesitating only the smallest of seconds before my fingers brushed against the fur of his cheek. His coat rivaled the softness of the rabbit''s. He blinked slowly, eyes never leaving mine. But he wasn''t challenging me, simply studying. Was it possible he found me as strange as I found him?

    "Do you have a name?" I asked in a hushed voice, though I had no idea why.

    "Blood Eye," he answered in an equally quiet tone. "Do you?"

    My gaze fell slightly to his nose. "No. No real one."

    The lycan blinked again. The breath from his nose swept against my face. Although my heart was pounding, I wasn''t truly afraid. He wasn''t threatening me, he was simply close. "I will name you then."

    I closed my eyes as I nodded. My fingers traveled down his snout, tickling against his whiskers before brushing my thumb against his dark pink nose. I held it there, careful not to block his nostrils. His face twitched, then his crimson irises rolled back. After a minute, he shuttered, collapsing on the dirt floor.

    My hand drew back. His eyes opened, but remained unfocused. His chest heaved with his rhythmically slow breathing, riding the height of bliss my touch could bring.

    Perhaps I should have felt afraid, or powerful, bringing this lycan down so easily. But I didn''t. All I felt was admiration of such a strong creature, and a sense of honor, having been granted entry to his den and the privilege of his protection.

    I bent over him, speaking softly in his ear. "Thank you, Blood Eye."

    ***

    I became aware of my surroundings before I opened my eyes. The smell of disturbed dirt and the atmosphere of the den took me back to a time before revenge and castles and all the heartache and complications my life had been through since then. It was just after Cerberus found me, when I first stayed in his den. I had yet to become the vicious Lady of the Lycan Mountainous. Then, I was simply a scared girl trying to keep from ending back where I had come from.

    Cerberus wasn''t beside me, yet no sooner had I begun to search for him than he dropped down into the den. His eyes reflected what little light the darkness had to offer. He poked me in the side, ensuring I was fully awake.

    "Come," he spoke softly, just as he had then. "The others want to show you something."

    I followed him out to the hillside. The surrounding area was strangely quiet, not a single lycan in sight. Usually there were sentries. I spotted a glowing light a little ways in the distance as Cerberus knelt next to me. I swung up on his back and we trotted in the direction of the light.

    We came to a massive pyre in a clearing surrounded by the wild lycans. Off to the sides were their captivebred cousins. They made way for us as we walked to the fire, where Graniteback and Nightmoon were waiting for us.

    "What¡­?" I looked around. "What is this all about?"

    "You, My Lady."

    "Me? Why?"

    This time it was Nightmoon who spoke. "We want to show you we are still loyal."

    "But you have no reason to be. I can''t give you my poison anymore. I-" I wrapped my hands around my waist, looking to the pine needles. "I can''t control you like that anymore."

    Graniteback nodded. "We¡¯ve learned to live without it. But also, we learned to enjoy a purpose." He paused, as if considering how to phrase his next words. "And you have shown us how beneficial a partnership between humans and lycans could be." He nodded to himself, seeming satisfied with the outcome. "So we''d like to keep serving under you, if you''ll accept us."

    My eyes watered. My heart swelled much larger than my chest could contain. My ribs hurt with the pressure from it. But I didn''t mind, it was a pleasant sort of pain. "Of course I accept you," I whispered. "I could never turn you away."

    Graniteback bowed his head. "My Lady."

    The others followed the gesture, whispering ''Lady'' amongst themselves. It started as a hushed word, growing into a kind of chant. Then it became louder, repeated again and again until it crescendoed into a collective howl. Cerberus bumped my shoulder, handing me my mask. I grinned, tying it on my face before joining them in their wild call.

    Though the sound died down, the fullness of my heart didn''t. Cerberus was right, just as he always was. I would forever be the Lady of the Lycan Mountains.

 Chapter 46: Consideration

    Dampness. It hung heavy in the air, drawing the cold against my skin even in the shelter under the thick pines. It contrasted with the dry heat from the fire built in the entrance of the large den situated behind me. The comforting scent of cooking meat rose in a warm cloud around the spit Jared erected, but I chose to focus on other smells. Melting snow, rotting leaves, the decomposition of logs the rain had exposed.

    ¡°I can''t believe you used to live here. It''s miserable.¡±

    Only my eyes moved as I watched Cyrus make himself comfortable beside me. He held up a charred stick with what I assumed to be mountain goat meat. Careful not to touch the hotter areas, I took the offered meal. Of course, I noted my gloved contact with Cyrus. It was like adrenaline without the danger. At least, no danger for me.

    ¡°I missed it,¡± was my reply before taking a bite. The hot fat settled nicely in my stomach as Cyrus cast me a questioning glance. ¡°I used to think it was awful too,¡± I clarified. ¡°But after Preene, I missed the storms. It''s almost¡­ like rage. It crashes and screams and destroys and cries, but in the end, everything is washed clean and the sky clears.¡± Another bite. ¡°Until the next storm that is, but it''s always like that. Really, it''s been a dry spring, location considered.¡±

    He raised an eyebrow. ¡°Really?¡±

    I paused, then realized I had adopted one of his favorite words. ¡°Really.¡± I said it with a slight smirk.

    He laughed, which somehow made me feel warmer despite the sudden breeze that blew through the pines. I lost all sense of weight when he met my gaze. ¡°So, you''re enjoying that?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I said, before realizing he was pointing to my meal. ¡°Yeah, why?¡±

    ¡°Well, the way you tore in that deer this morning, I thought you might like it raw.¡±

    That drew a laugh from me. Laughing with Cyrus was different. I wasn''t laughing down, trying to cover emotions I would rather not deal with. It was just laughing. Genuine, pure, honest, like Cyrus. He was so expressive and open, almost to a fault. I couldn''t help but be drawn to him.

    ¡°That''s ritual. I prefer cooked, I am still human.¡± It felt odd to call myself that. When Cerberus said the word, it implied weak, pathetic even. But Cyrus was human; could it be so bad that I was too? ¡°It''s really not bad, just soft. You get used to it quickly when you have to.¡± I hesitated, then said, ¡°I had to get used to it pretty quick. I''m not nearly as great at making fire as you.¡±

    Cyrus shrugged the compliment off, which I didn''t like. I wanted him to smile, maybe even laugh again. ¡°I''m not as quick as Jared.¡±

    ¡°But you taught him.¡± I insisted. This time he did smile, and I was rewarded with the rush of success. It was such a silly thing to be excited over, but I would take what moments of joy I could get.

    ¡°Maybe I''ll try it.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Try it, the meat.¡± Cyrus nodded to himself. ¡°I¡¯ll jump right in there. Get all that blood and gore on me. I''ll fight the Hellhound for the best cut.¡±

    I snorted, rolling my eyes at his reaction. "Your choice. I don''t know why you insist on saying such foolish things."

    "Because they make you smile."

    I stared at him.

    He nodded to himself as he continued on. "And if I don''t make you smile, you look so serious all the time. So I like to make you forget those worries if I can, even if it''s just for a little while."

    I didn''t know what to say. No one ever cared for my happiness. Why should they? I almost couldn''t believe it, except for the fact I could see it in his eyes. Those blue irises never lied. Everything about Cyrus was open and honest; it was impossible not to believe him. "Really?"

    "Really."

    I had no idea how to react. I didn''t want to cry, but my face felt like I was going to. I didn''t want to blush, but it was too late for that. And I also didn''t want to simply say ''thank you''. I couldn''t admit how much I needed the simple distraction his antics provided. I couldn''t admire how much I, Lady of the Lycan Mountains and Queen of Preene, needed him.

    In the end, I responded as I always would. I used the tactics that kept me alive, that put men too interested in my power where I could use them, control them, where I was safe. I crawled forward until my hands rested on his knees.

    "I think you''re just looking for attention," I purred, watching with smug satisfaction as his eyes got big. "Because you like the Savage Queen who controls armies and eats with wolves." I tipped my head. The snout of my mask rested against my nose, keeping it from falling to the side. "You think you can tame her, but in actuality, it turns you on that you know you can''t."

    He took a deep breath, then leveled me with a cool stare. "So what if I am?"

    I drew back as suddenly as if he burned me. I hadn''t expected that. I hadn''t wanted that. I looked away, holding my hands close to my chest. I wanted him to deny it, to tell me I was crazy or even just laugh in my face. I wanted him to lie.

    If he lied to me, I could call him a liar. Then I could doubt what he said.

    Fortunately, our awkward silence was quickly interrupted by a small, innocent voice. "What''s ''turned on'' mean?"

    "I-uh-" I stuttered, now painfully aware there was an audience to my little show. Cyrus burst out laughing while Shirah stifled a giggle. All was well and fine for them; they weren''t the ones Alice was looking expectantly at.

    "It means that he likes it," Jared supplied. I shot him a grateful nod, which he returned with his amused half smile.

    "Like I like Sunshine?"

    He laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Not quite like that..."

    Several lycans stood up at once. Alice knew enough not to speak the question clearly resting on her tongue, instead keeping silent as they listened. My ears strained at the sudden quiet. There was a brook not too far away and the trees groaned in the wind. I could hear some songbirds in the distance, but none nearby. Something had spooked them.

    We saw the men a full minute before they seemed to notice us. I noted Sunshine taking a defensive stance in front of Jared and Alice. After a moment of consideration, Nightmoon joined him. They were blocked from my vision by white fur as I was shoved behind Cerberus. On our other side, I saw Cyrus climb on Crimson Claw''s back. Pulling a glove from my hand, I knelt down, peering between the alpha''s heels.

    There were only about thirty of them, perhaps forty at most. Once they got about halfway up the hill, they raised various weapons ranging from proper spears to pitchforks and harvesting sickles. Their angered cries echoed through the valley. The lycans answered with a collective snarl.

    The men stopped, some of the rear ranks running into the backs of their fellows. Their blank faces scanned over the pack, as if suddenly realizing attacking such a large force of lycans with anything less than an army was equivalent to suicide.

    Then they turned and ran.

    The lycans fell in hot pursuit. It was mere moments before they caught them, and the battle, more of a slaughter, began.

    Cerberus shifted so I could once again see Jared and Alice. Nightmoon exchanged a nod with River before running off to join the others, her place filled with the smaller female.

    "Aren''t you going to go too?"

    The albino lycan changed his position, so he now stood beside me. His crimson stare focused on the ridge behind us. "They could be a distraction..."

    "Right." I mentally scolded myself for thinking these men were the only threat. Why would a small group of ill-armed villagers chance attacking the lycans at all unless they had a larger force backing them up? They probably just realized they were cannon fodder and panicked.

    So it would seem... yet as the minutes wore on and the pack hunted down the last of the men, no army showed itself. One of the females ordered to scout the area returned.

    "Nothing for a ways out," she panted.

    The party who had run after the retreating men returned. Among them was Nightmoon, dragging a man, bleeding but very much alive, along with her. He was wailing rather loudly, most likely due to his mangled arm clutched in her jaws.

    I stood up, striding to her. My lip curled as I stared down at the man. "You!" I barked. "Tell me what this is about!"

    He fumbled, trying to find words.

    "Quit your stuttering and answer me!"

    The man, a worn looking farmer with leathery skin, glanced around the ring of lycans and humans that surrounded him. He held his injured arm close as he swallowed. His hands trembled. Tears began to leak from faded eyes.

    "I am sorry,my lady-"

    "I asked for answers, not apologies!" I snapped. Several of the wild lycans growled.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

    "I - we -" His whole body violently shook before he threw his hands over his face, collapsing to the ground. "Please forgive us, my lady. We thought you dead. When we heard there were lycans in the area, we thought there were only a few left, so we took it upon ourselves to finish what the late Perimone started! Before they could repopulate!" he finished in sobs. "Please! We meant no offense! If we knew you were alive and this your legion, we would have never dared come!"

    I scowled down at him. "I wouldn''t bother begging forgiveness for your fellows. You are the only survivor." My tone was colder than the frigid morning air.

    The fingers of his good hand buried in the fallen pine needles of the forest floor. "Forgive me then. My village has already sworn its allegiance to the territory of the Lycan Mountains."

    "Then why did you seek to drive my lycans to extinction?!" I shouted.

    The man fell back, eyes wide and mouth clamped tightly shut. I was certain he pissed himself. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. It wouldn''t do to lose my wits in front of my legion.

    "Does Howens know about this?"

    "No, my lady."

    I sighed. "Good." I paused. "You claim to be a citizen under my rule, correct?"

    The man hurriedly nodded. "Yes, my lady. You are our leader. My village claims no connection to Askance."

    "Good," I hissed. "Then you''ll accept my judgment as law." I lunged forward, bare hand outstretched to touch his face.

    A hand caught my arm. I spun around, staring at Cyrus. His face was set in a determined expression.

    The wild lycans exploded in a flurry of growls. Crimson Claw lept in front of Cyrus, taking the blow of those who lunged at him. Three of the wild males pinned the captivebred down.

    "Stop!"

    The canines halted on my word, eyes fixed on me, waiting for my next command.

    "Just stand down," I huffed. "I can handle this." They let Crimson Claw up, backing off as I turned to Cyrus. "What is this about?" I hissed.

    "You can''t kill him."

    "Why not?"

    He let out a long breath, shifting his grip from my wrist to resting on my shoulders. My former manager stared me down with stormy blue irises. "Listen, even if he thought there were only a few lycans, he knew the danger. Believe me, none of those men would have taken that risk if they weren''t defending something."

    I frowned. "Like what?"

    "Like a family."

    A family... I swallowed, lifting my chin. "And?"

    He leaned in closer so his nose brushed against that of my wolf mask. "I know how you felt when you saw the lycan cubs taken from their mothers. You told me lycans are just as sentient and emotional as humans. Doesn''t that make humans just the same as lycans then?"

    I gritted my teeth. I didn''t like what he was saying. It made me think, hesitate. I shouldn''t hesitate, I should go for the throat. It was the only way I could survive.

    "Desire, I can''t stop you, but are you really ready to kill a father?"

    I tried to stare him in the eye. It was much more difficult than expected. I wrapped my arms around myself, looking off to the side. "I''ve killed many men. What is another?"

    "Not just a man, Desire, someone''s father, or brother, or grandfather. An uncle maybe. Anyway, I am certain he has someone he loves very much, someone he is willing to die protecting."

    "And that''s just what he''ll do!"

    Cyrus closed his eyes. "If that''s what you want. I just want you to consider your actions, if you can bear the burden of his death, of his loved one''s pain, before you do."

    My nails dug into the leather covering my sides. Damn him for making me think about this. Damn him for hindering my instincts, making this all so much more difficult than it needed to be. I wanted to lash out, to push him away and order the man torn to shreds.

    But I knew I would regret it if I did.

    "Cerberus-"

    "No, Desire." Cyrus gave me a slight shake, forcing me to look up at him. "You can''t pass this off. You''re the Lady of the Lycan Mountains. He swore allegiance to you. This is your decision, no one else''s."

    "But he only did it to escape the draft," I whispered. It felt like a lame excuse.

    "Does it matter?" He sighed, stepping back, "He''ll probably lose that arm once disease sets in. You have to decide if that is punishment enough, or if you want to sentence him to death." He shrugged. "I know I can''t stop you either way. I just wanted you to think a little first."

    I looked down at the man again. He was a pathetic mess of blood and urine. He was shaking and crying. The lycans ripped his clothes in several places and the melting snow he had been dragged through soaked his shoulders.

    "I.."

    He was the kind of man I laughed at, the type I loved to make squeal for my amusement. He had already tossed away any pride in his terror. I should have felt my usual satisfaction at having such power over someone, the way they once held power over me. To kill him off now that he had fulfilled his usefulness should have been easy, automatic.

    "I-I..."

    But I couldn''t force the words out. They caught in my throat like anchors, digging into flesh and making me choke. All I could think about was the blacksmith in Merrer. Was there someone like Brennon out there who would suffer through the anger and loss of this man''s death, just as he had?

    "I... Just go. You''re free."

    I couldn''t watch the man stand, nor could I bear to see him stumble off. I had been so close to killing him, to doing what I had always done, simply reacting out of anger and fear. A sense of uneasiness settled in my stomach.

    But I couldn''t do it. I couldn''t murder him.

    A slight tug on my sleeve. I looked down. Alice was staring up at me, droplets from melted resting among her golden curls. She was the picture of innocence.

    "Dessy, is that man going to be okay?"

    I couldn''t take it. A sudden flood of emotion crashed against my chest, threatening to shatter the thin veil of self control I just barely managed to keep in place.

    I threw my hands over my face and ran.

    "Desire! Desire, wait! Come back!"

    I didn''t listen to him. I couldn''t listen to him anymore, not when he was talking like this. Not when he was making more sense than I cared to listen to.

    I didn''t get very far before he caught me, just far enough to be out of view and earshot of everyone else. Cyrus spun me around and I punched him in the chest.

    He waited patiently as I cried and pounded my fists into his jacket. He didn''t seem to mind; I wasn''t very strong after all.

    "You stupid jerk!" I had much worse words in my vocabulary, but I couldn''t think of them at the moment. I already had far too many things on my mind. "You have no idea what you''ve done!"

    "What''s that? Make you look at that man like a human being?"

    "Make me think about all of them!" I sobbed, collapsing against him, trying to block out the images with his coat pocket. "You have no idea! No idea at all!"

    Over his shoulder, I spotted Cerberus standing on the ridge of the little valley I had stumbled into. I met his crimson stare. Without a word, he turned, trotting down the other side.

    Why was he leaving me alone with this man? I wanted him to come down here and rip him limb from limb for what he''d done. I wanted him to bark and growl and roar and protect me. Why had he abandoned me?

    "Tell me what I''ve done." Cyrus''s arms wrapped around my back, holding me close as I continued to cry on him.

    I struggled to push him away. He released me just enough to look into my eyes. "Do you know when I first killed someone?"

    His face showed nothing; no anger, no worry, no judgement. "No, I don''t."

    "Neither do I." My lower lip trembled. "They''ve just always been there, corpses piling up around me. I''ve been poisoning people since I can remember."

    "That''s not your fault-"

    "Yes, it is." I let out a bitter laugh. "So many of them I poisoned on purpose. So many more I ordered killed. I could blame it on the poison for the longest time, but you know the first thing I did when I was cured? I killed a man, a man who, despite all that I''d done to him, was still trying to rescue me." I was laughing and crying and choking, a sure sign I had completely lost my mind. "So if you think you can save me by being some sort of saint, sorry, but somebody''s already tried that."

    "I never claimed to be a saint."

    I snorted. "And what exactly have you done that was so awful?"

    "I killed my brother."

    I suddenly couldn''t take my eyes off him.

    He shrugged. "Half brother, maybe. I told you my mother didn''t know who my father was, but there was a man who claimed to be. I was associates with him for a while¡­ until he died. Shot up too much of a poisonous kid''s blood. Anyway, my brother was in it much more than I was. He didn''t want anyone to challenge his claim to the family business, so he tried killing me."

    I stepped back as he pulled the gun from his jacket. However, he simply turned to the weapon on its side, examining it. "I just got this at the time. It had two bullets. I had it pressed to his chest, so I only needed one." He hit a button, popping the clip free of the handle and showing it to me. One led bullet gleamed in the case. "The first I used to save myself. This other one I promised myself I would use to save someone I cared about."

    I bit my lip. "That''s not all that bad, you know. You didn''t have a choice."

    Cyrus snapped the case back in place. "Of course I did. I could have shot him in the leg and ran off. I didn''t kill him because I needed to. I wanted to." He clenched his fists. "I was just so angry, and he wasn''t listening!" He turned his face away. "I didn''t think, and now I''ve regretted it since."

    My gloved hand touched his face. "One poor choice while defending yourself doesn''t make you a villain, not like I am."

    He frowned. "You''re not a villain, Desire."

    My smile''s bitter edge cut my heart. "Yes, I am. It''s what I was born to be.¡±

    He shook his head. "I don''t believe that. You can choose not to. I know there is some good in you."

    "You think I don''t want to be?" I stepped away, hugging my chest again. "I''ve tried that. I''ve come so close I thought maybe, possibly, I had some choice. But it came at a bitter price, and in the end, it turns out I didn''t have a choice at all."

    "With Darrius?"

    I nodded. These tears streaming silently under my mask were different. They weren''t angry or frustrated; they were just... sad. "I''ve tried. But I can never keep any of the good things in my life."

    "Did you love him?"

    I took a deep breath. "I loved the idea of him." I closed my eyes, pushing out the tears. "I think I could have fallen in love with him, if I really tried."

    "He loved you."

    I nodded. I couldn''t speak anymore, only whisper, "I know that."

    "I don''t believe you don''t have a choice, and I don''t believe you''re an evil person. I just think you''ve been beaten down and strike out of anger and fear. And I know you want love and friendship, just like anyone else would."

    My throat closed around my tongue. My heart shriveled and died and was reborn again. I was clothed and masked but, at the same time, always so naked to him.

    Sometimes I wondered if those storming blue eyes could see into my soul.

 Chapter 47: Travel Companions

    The morning''s crisp air had settled in a mist. I pressed myself closer to Cerberus''s chest, snuggling into the warmth of his fur. The lycan''s tail fell over my hip while his head curled around mine.

    "The hunters will be back soon," he growled softly in my ear.

    "I don''t care," I shifted again, "It''s too cold to get up."

    His ears flicked forward, listening to sounds outside the den''s confines, "Cyrus is already awake. He is making a fire you can warm yourself by."

    "I''m fine right here," I muttered.

    Cerberus huffed. "In that case..." He pushed me onto my back. I relaxed as a wet nose pushed against my chin, lifting my head so that the lycan could lap at my jaw.

    "You always treat me like prey," I said, idly brushing my fingers through the fur behind his ears. It was a shame I couldn''t feel the texture through my gloves.

    The lycan snorted. "You don¡¯t mind."

    "I don''t." I let him have his full, which took a while. The alpha lycan had tasted my poison longer than any human or creature before him. The effect had certainly dulled since his nose first brushed against my skin. I felt the sudden need to ask a question that plagued me since the night before. "Why would a lycan want to be partnered with a human?"

    "Humans make fire and shelter-"

    "But lycans can do that too," I pointed out, then paused. ¡°What I really mean is, why did you stay with me once I''d lost my poison?"

    He sighed, drawing back and looking away, "It''s difficult to explain. We were both born¡­ different." He drew in a deep breath. "Something happens, in the others too. There is this urge to protect you. It becomes our purpose, more important than anything else."

    "Then why did you leave me alone with Cyrus?"

    The lycan tipped his head. "He won¡¯t hurt you."

    "But how do you know that?" I questioned.

    "I just know."

    "Oh," I glanced out of the den, frowning. I didn''t fool him.

    "You want me to be jealous."

    I smiled, "Would that be too selfish?"

    He hesitated a moment, thinking over his words before speaking, "I know you need human companionship, but I miss the mountains."

    That made me grin. "I do too." My fingers worked behind his ears, though I didn''t have use of my nails to scratch the skin. "Things were simpler then. I''d go back if I could." I sighed. My hands slid down to the sides of his neck. "But you don''t need to worry, no man could ever come as close to you. There¡¯s too much between us for anyone to ever compare."

    It was with great reluctance that I crawled from the den and Cerberus''s warmth. The chilled mist swirled around me. I immediately headed to the growing fire Cyrus tended to.

    "You slept in late," he commented.

    "You''re up early," I said in return as I settled down next to him.

    The man let out a great sigh. "Yeah, Claw decided he wanted to go on the hunt. Woke me up before the sun and I''ve been freezing since."

    "I thought you didn''t snuggle," I teased as he threw yet another log in the fire. An ashen gray lycan walked to our party, dropping several logs on a nearby pile.

    "Thanks Socrchedpelt," Cyrus thanked him before answering me. "I don''t. But he does make a good space heater." He poked the fire with a blackened stick. Then another thought occurred to him, one which made him send me a smirking sidelong glance. "I''d rather share body heat with you, but the hellhound won''t share."

    Cerberus growled at that. I snickered.

    "What about Shirah? Where''s she?"

    It was Scorchedpelt that answered. "She''s with Shadowfoot cutting branches. They''ll be along soon.

    Cyrus nodded his confirmation. "She''s been helping out, since Jared abandoned us."

    I tipped my head. The man caught on to my unspoken question and jerked his head to the side, indicating where the teenager sat next to the black and white female.

    "Looks like he got his ''girlfriend'' after all."

    The sight of Jared talking to Nightmoon warmed me more than they fire. He was smiling. His cheerfulness made it possible to forget, just for a moment, what the bandages covered. His bruises could simply be from a fall, or a fight. He didn''t carry his usual aura of death about him. I listened carefully, catching the melody of hope in his tone as he told the wild lycan about Preene. She had her head tipped to the side as he explained how the subways ran under Cicil''s streets.

    Once I got him cured, he could be like this all the time.

    Logs crashed down into the pile beside me. "It''s freezing this morning!" Shirah remarked, falling in place beside me. "Morning Desire, where''s Alice?"

    I pointed out where the six-year-old was stacking snowballs under Sunshine''s watchful gaze.

    "She''s like a little rabbit," the woman panted. "I don''t know how she does it, she never seems to sleep."

    "Nap time," Cyrus wagered, "About halfway through the day she passes out for an hour or two."

    "Not today though," I sighed. My eyes wandered the landscape, taking in the many tracks in the melting snow. Although they stuck with their traditional dens, the lycan''s hillside looked almost like a village with its fire pits scattered about. It really was a shame. "We''re leaving after the morning meal."

    Cyrus leaned over to get a better look at my face, "When was this decided?"

    "Last night. I had a meeting with Graniteback."

    He frowned. "And we''re was I for all this?"

    I shrugged. "You don''t want to be followed, so how am I supposed to know?"

    The man blinked, staring at me. Slowly, a grin spread over his face. "Desire, you¡¯re joking."

    I leveled him with a deadpan glare. "You''re observation skills astound me."This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    He sat back, a smug smirk decorating his face. "I guess I''m rubbing off on you."

    "You''re delusional."

    "Nah, I''m rubbing off on you."

    I rolled my eyes, ¡°We¡¯re not far from Estil. We¡¯ll detour to rest there, hopefully by tomorrow night.¡± The walled town would afford some respite from the chilled weather. Sleeping in a building would be nice.

    Cyrus threw another log in his fire before prodding the embers beneath. ¡°What¡¯s Estil?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a town I-¡± I paused, suddenly reconsidering my decision. Cyrus knew some of the crimes the Lady of the Lycan Mountains committed against Askance, but he¡¯d never seen it. Would it shock him to witness the harshest of horrors I had unleashed? Would my human companions think of me differently if they knew the extent of my destruction?

    Had all meat rotted from bone, or was it preserved in the winter frost?

    ¡°It was one of my towns.¡± Too late now, he¡¯d heard the hesitation in my voice. ¡°It''s abandoned now.¡±

    The man eyed me with a curious suspicion, but it was Cerberus who spoke. ¡°We¡¯ll send scouts first.¡± His whiskers brushed against my jaw. A cool nose wet my cheek. ¡°They¡¯ll clear the area.¡±

    I closed my eyes, a slight smile touching my features. Subtilty was unlike him. I silently thanked the lycan. Cyrus aside, Alice didn¡¯t need to see streets of skeletons. Even Jared was a bit young. The animal kills of the lycans were one thing, humans were quite another.

    ¡°Um, Lady Desire...¡± Shirah shifted, seemingly uneasy with her thoughts. After a moment her expression solidified into one of conviction. ¡°You can¡¯t go to Estil.¡±

    A shot of fear stopped my heart. She was Asken, she would know what I¡¯d done. I hesitated to ask, ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°Howens made it a military outpost. I¡¯d say most of the trained army is there.¡±

    That gave me pause. She gave a quick nod, as if to answer my unspoken doubt. Cerberus was not so easily assured.

    "How do you know this?" There was suspicion in his voice.

    I placed a hand on his shoulder, though to sooth him or myself I didn''t know. I didn''t like the idea of being so close to Askance''s military without my full army, not with the wild lycans. Though I kept my eyes open, I couldn''t help but recall my wild legion falling to their death in a pit of fire. Their faces danced in the flames. I was grateful for Shirah''s voice drawing my attention from our own campfire.

    "Everyone in Askance does. It was a major project, the work really put a burden on the country''s resources. That, along with the draft."

    My companion looked my way. I bit my tongue and considered my next move. The lycan leaned down again, speaking softly in my ear. "We could wait for the rest of our strength to come and take the town. We would cripple the asken forces."

    An irritation scratched at the back of my mind as I considered his words. It spread down my neck, giving me the urge to squirm. I resisted as best I could. "Howens. He''s in Obria, probably with Dr. Aster. We need the cure. That makes the capital more important."

    The irritation grew, until finally I pressed my back to Cerberus''s shoulder. He gave a questioning glance down at me, but the discomfort eased.

    "We''ll continue on and avoid it. We''ll give the town wide berth, just to be safe. We can''t risk detection as we are." I looked straight into his eyes, "If Howens is in Obria, then we''ll go for the throat."

    The lycan tipped his head, then nodded. "As My Lady wishes."

    I turned my attention to Shirah. "Thank you, I''ll remember this."

    The woman nodded.

    ***

    I was much more comfortable on Cerberus''s back, moving, rather than staying where we had already been discovered. The people of the border villages may claim to be my subjects, but even Howens¡¯ taxes and drafts couldn''t undo the damage I had done.

    Shirah sat next to me, having been offered a ride from Shadowfoot, the female she¡¯d helped. Cyrus was a ways behind us, talking to Nightmoon, who carried Jared, and watching Alice. He really did look like a father, gently coaching her on something or other. Maybe he was simply comforting her, as she had another of her migraines this morning.

    Shirah caught me looking. "He''s really trying you know. I know you''re a queen and all, but you can''t exactly say he isn''t attractive."

    "No, I can''t." I was thinking of things I shouldn''t, of queens and knights in shining armor and little princess living a happy ending I knew better than to hope for. "But I can''t be in any relationship."

    "Why not?"

    "My poison."

    Shirah nodded. She had accepted my explanation of the children of the apocalypse without question, for which I was grateful. I had enough of people''s fear, or worse, curiosity. "But you said there was a doctor who could to cure you. Surely then..."

    "It''s only temporary."

    "But if you-"

    "It''s how I became widowed."

    "Oh." The lycans movements through the snow were uneven, much less fluid than their usual bounding run. We had to stay at a walk for the yearling cubs to keep pace. The young lycans had a hard time stepping through the deeper snow, where they sometimes sank up to their elbows. Finally Shirah spoke again. "It''s not like I can say much on the subject..."

    I was glad the conversation had shifted from me. Also, I was genuinely interested. The feeling was strange, so often I found the majority of other people''s problems unbearably dull. "Why not?"

    She shrugged. "It''s... not something I''m familiar with. Maybe at one point, but it''s been too long to remember." A sigh, then, "Have you ever felt more valued as an object than a person?"

    That question, along with the sincerity in her eyes, pierced deeper than any blade had ever cut and left me unable to answer.

    She gave a sad sort of smile. "Yeah. I had a feeling you''d understand."

    "I do." I said it quietly. There was a pause, then the words came out, almost faster than I could speak them. "I was bought. Over and over. For my poison. And for the longest time I could remember my cost more than my current name."

    At first she stared at me, seemingly caught off guard by my sudden confession. After a moment she found a reply. "I was sold too. It was the only way I could afford food."

    A lump blocked the air from my throat and reduced my voice to a whisper. "I''m sorry..."

    "I''m fine." But I knew she wasn''t. It was just what she said when she didn''t want to deal with pity. "I didn''t like it, so I figured out some other skills to sell. Didn''t stop some of the people I sold myself too, but I got them back." She shrugged, but I could hear the catch in her voice. "Their enemies caught me a few times. I saved my own hide with their secrets. I wasn''t suffering for those bastards."

    "You shouldn''t have to. They deserved it."

    "You know, there are times I try so hard not to think about anything. I don''t want to acknowledge how the world screwed me. How I''m stuck doing terrible things for terrible people and I have no purpose or value. It''s just too much stress. But..." The way she looked at me, I had the urge to hug her. I never felt the desire to touch strangers, my poison taught me that quicker than any other lesson. Yet, now my poison was the only thing keeping me from sliding off Cerberus and embracing this woman. "I can''t stand seeing you reject Cyrus when he cares so much, because it gives me that little reminder that this world isn''t all shit." She hung her head. "I know it''s going to hurt later when I get tossed again, but for now it feels... nice."

    "Yeah..." I leaned down on Cerberus''s neck, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. My chest brushed against fur just starting to bare its signature seasonal musk. "I''ve been feeling that a lot lately... nice..."

    We continued in silence for a few minutes before Shirah giggled, seemingly amused at her own thoughts. "I guess fighting a couple of angry mobs makes people closer."

    I shrugged, though I was grinning myself. "It''s been a while since I''ve been against one myself. But last fall was pretty eventful."

    Shirah listened intently as I recounted my adventures of freeing the captive lycans. I didn''t sugar coat the details of how I dealt with the trainers. I didn''t feel the need to. As an assassin, she didn''t flinch as I described my plan to murder Darrius on our wedding night. It was nice talking to her, comfortable, in a way almost familiar. "I don''t imagine it was Cerberus''s favorite time though. He spent most of it in a cell..." Even now the words brought a heaviness to my gut.

    "Speaking of Cerberus..." She blushed as the alnino''s gaze flicked up to meet hers. "I was just going to comment you''ve been getting a lot of female attention, that''s all."

    He flicked his head, looking back to the trail with a huff. I chuckled. "It''s spring."

    "What about it?"

    "Breeding season." I grinned at Cerberus''s disgruntled expression. It was season males tended to fight more, as even challenging the alpha could win the favor of females. "Females sometimes fight their pack position too, but mostly arrange themselves by their cubs'' sires." Even Nightmoon, who spent most of her attention on Jared, kept a keen eye on the alpha. It was clear she intended her first litter to be his.

    "Hey, did you look down there?" Cyrus and Claw had come from behind without our notice. I followed his finger down the slope of the ridge we were walking along. At the bottom was a town.

    There wasn''t a person in sight. Most of the buildings were leveled, though much more recently than in Whenfair. The lycans slid down the slope, trotting through the narrow streets.

    Smoke rose from several houses where timbers had collapsed on hearths. The damage had been done today. My heart beat in my chest. Whatever did this was the same force Howens used against the other border towns. Blotches of red littered the frozen dirt streets. We followed them to the town center.

    Along the way we found the villagers, pieces of humans scattered in the snow. Mangled arms and legs lay discarded on the banks. The open square held dozens of them, as well as rib cages and other unidentifiable parts that appeared partially eaten. The square was coated in an eyrie mist that obscured the massive creature moving in its center. Seeming to notice our presence, it let out a deep chuff, then turned around, standing on its hind legs.

    A monstrous bear.

 Chapter 48: Gici Awas

    The massive bear stood shoulder level with the second story windows of the standing houses. Its head, somewhat disproportionately large, brushed the peaks. But by far its most striking feature was its body, nearly completely hairless save for ragged patches of black fur that clung to its sides.

    A bear like that could rip a building from its foundations.

    The creature''s roar rattled my bones. It dropped back down on all fours. Claws the length of my forearms dug deep furrows in the packed dirt of the square. It moved with a stiffness in its limbs, as if its joints lacked the flexibility of its smaller kin. The bear paced back and forth, sizing us up.

    I carefully surveyed my companions out of the corners of my eyes, though dared not turn my head. The others held similarly still. A total of six lycans had descended into the village, plus us three humans. Nowhere near a match for this creature.

    The bald bear chuffed again. It watched us with dark eyes, seeming as unsure of us as we were of it. But that uncertainty wouldn''t last long though, sooner or later, someone would have to move.

    A projectile whizzed through the air, burying itself in the bear''s side. The creature reared, roaring it''s anger, then charged.

    The lycans spun in their hind paws, leaping into action. Human shouts echoed behind us, but it was impossible to discern their exact location. I ducked, narrowly avoiding as one of the bear''s massive paws crashed through the thick timbers. The animal''s weight alone leveled any wooden structures beneath it. We were far too busy avoiding being crushed as well to concern ourselves with the sudden human presence.

    Across the street, I saw Shirah flattened against Shadowfoot as the two lept across a fallen building. Ahead, Crimson Claw led the group. Cyrus had his saber drawn, but I doubted it would be of any use against this adversary.

    More of the projectiles shot through the air in streaks of red and orange. Another found purchase on the bear''s back. It let out a loud bellow. I glanced back in Shirah''s direction just in time to see the Shadowfoot swept sideways into an abandoned cart. Shirah tumbled in a somersault on the surrounding snowbank. Without hesitation Scorchedpelt crashed into her, allowing her to grab onto his fur and vault to his back. The lycans clawed their way up the embankment, nearly barreling through the others.

    "What the-?!" Nightmoon yipped in alarm, rearing back to avoid collision.

    "Just run!" I screamed. It was a useless order, as it was impossible to miss the angered bear charging our tails. The pack stumbled over one another in an effort to turn.

    My instincts immediately screamed for me to find Alice. For one panicked moment she was lost in a sea of lycans, then I spotted her. Sunshine ran with a desperation I hadn''t seen on the usually calm lycan. His feet pounded against the snow and dirt, carrying him at speeds I would have thought impossible for the small captivebred to reach. The blond six-year-old clung to his jacket for her life.

    The bear plowed through the forest after us, using its disproportionate head to uproot trees and knock the slower of the lycans to the side. Red and orange rained down. Several canine yelps came from around us as they were  struck. The projectiles now littered the creature''s back, serving only to anger it further.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    We couldn''t run forever. It would catch us soon. I trembled to think what the giant would do once it did. My cheek pressed into Cerberus''s fur as I prayed at least some of us would escape this alive.

    The bear dropped its head as it ran. The stance seemed odd to me, unnatural. Somehow it''s gate became even more jarring and stiff. Its bounding run slowed. Finally its black nose caught the ground, tripping it and sending the massive creature tumbling over itself.

    We slid to a stop a little ways away, though many of the others chose to climb the next hill before halting their retreat. I didn''t blame them, the bear had left a wake of upturned trees and injured lycans. Now it lay still, chest rising and falling with a slowed breathing, but motionless as we took a few cautious steps in approach.

    It appeared to be sleeping.

    My heart continued to thunder wildly in my chest as I stared from Cerberus''s back. The creature''s eyelids flickered slightly, but didn''t open. Its hairless body gleamed with wetness from the snow. Steam rose up to join the mist around its body.

    The human shouts came again along with the clattering of hooves. Horses white with foaming sweat appeared in the path of destruction. Their riders hunched over their manes, but still cheered and congratulated one another as they rode toward the bear. That was, until they spotted us.

    Several soldiers raised spears, while others dressed in a uniform I didn''t recognize rested hollow tubes against their mouths. I hadn''t personally seen such weapons before, but could hazard a guess as to what they might be. Seemed Askance had adopted a division of men dedicated to blow-darts.

    A lone rider, a woman appearing to be in her early thirties, came to the front. Dirty blond hair was pulled into a harsh bun. She wore a more decorated version of the dartmen''s uniform. By her attire and general attitude, I judged her to be a commander of sorts. Her barked orders verified my suspicion.

    "Don''t just stand there! We got a lot of work to bring this beast back in the cart before it wakes up!"

    "But Ma''am, the lycans..." one of the other dartmen pointed out.

    The woman tisked, staring us down as if we were some sort of nuisance rather than a legitimate threat. Her dark eyes scanned over me unconcealed disdain. "It is a shame the Gici Awas didn''t make it another hundred yards, I would have loved to report to our Lord his war was finished before it started."

    For once I wished Cerberus was taller, so I wouldn''t sit lower than her. The way she stared down her nose grated my nerves.

    "Don''t worry," this time she addressed me directly, "I''ll still take pleasure in announcing your arrival." She twisted in her saddle. "Pay no mind to the lycans." Her eyes met mine. "It would be stupid of her to interfere while it is only a matter of time before the beast wakes itself."

    The soldiers under her command reluctantly rode forward, throwing heavy chains about the bear''s limbs. I didn''t like seeing any creature restrained in such a way, and I certainly wasn''t fond of the huge cage pulled by a team of draft horses rattling up the hill. I wanted to defy her judgement and order an attack on her men. They were nowhere near numerous enough to take us, but neither were we equipped to deal with the giant bear.

    So I sat, and watched the soldiers hoist the bear into the cage. I may not like it, but I couldn''t chance putting the lycans in that danger again.

    "Howens will be most interested to hear you''re already in Askance," the commander woman said to me. "He was under the impression you were with the rest of your human army. Seems the outer villages weren''t bluffing when they said their lady had returned." Her horse tossed its head as her gaze passed over my companions. "Interesting company you keep, Shirah."

    I twisted around to stare at the girl beside me. The dark skinned woman glared at the commander. Her hand rested on her pant leg pocket, but she made no further movements. "I have my reasons."

    "You always do." The commander turned her horse. The bear had been successfully loaded into the caged cart. The driver now directed the drafts downhill, as their leader did with her own mount. She called over her shoulder, "I just hope they''re the right ones."

    The company of Asken soldiers rode off down the hill. As soon as they disappeared Cerberus turned back to Shirah, taking me along with him. To my surprise he stood up, causing me to slide to my feet.

    "Scorchedpelt!" he barked. The lycan flipped, tossing Shirah from his back. The woman coward under the alpha''s heated glared. He towered over her, snarling.

 Chapter 49: Challenge

    A deep growl echoed in the albino alpha''s chest. His blood red eyes burned into her like fire. Shirah stayed as she was, frozen in terror as she lay in the snow beneath the lycan.

    "Cerberus, stop!" I leapt in front of the woman, facing down the lycan myself.

    He huffed. "Move, my Lady."

    "No, you''ll kill her!" I could see it in the tension of his muscles.

    He bared his teeth. "Move, Desire."

    My gut twisted. He meant to override me, to use his authority. But I couldn''t let him. Somehow I sensed Shirah wasn''t what he assumed her to be. She had to say it, to offer the explanation I knew she had.

    "Shirah, why did that woman know you?"

    It took her a moment to find her voice. "I-I... she is Meridith Balazza, the new military commander for Lord Howens... She used to be a captain of the guard in Riken, I had several run ins with her. That''s all! She just knows me because she ran me out of her city!"

    "See?" I placed a tentative hand on Cerberus''s chest. "It''s nothing."

    "She¡¯s lying." His gaze switched from her to me. His irises enraptured my attention, swirling with mistrust and an emotion I couldn''t yet name, one that was begging to be understood. His voice was gruff, yet softer as he spoke to me. "We can¡¯t afford a spy, not while our full strength hasn¡¯t crossed the mountains."

    A chill seeped through me. I swallowed. "Cerberus, please, don''t do this."

    A low snarl and soft eyes. "I will do what you can''t. We are the same. To survive we must never hesitate. Always go for the throat."

    Tears pricked at my eyes. I tried to hold them back, to force them down, but it was no use. They rolled freely down my cheeks. "Not this time." I whispered it. "Please Cerberus, not this time."

    Two paw like hands rested on my shoulders. "I am alpha," he said it gently, yet there was still the firm tone of a command in his voice, "you will submit."

    I couldn''t stop the tears now. This time he wasn''t chained to a wall. Yet this time I wasn''t afraid of myself or my followers. I was only afraid for my friend, and what my closest companion would do to her. Only a fool would believe Cerberus would even consider showing the woman mercy. I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. Even so, I couldn''t bring myself to speak much louder than a whisper. "Not this time."

    The alpha growled. He shoved me down, his superior weight forcing me to my knees. Bared canines clashed together inches from my face. "You will submit!"

    My fists clenched together. I had to keep courage. I couldn''t let this happen. "No, Blood Eye, I won''t."

    I was thrown to the side. The moment I landed I was somehow on my feet, crashing into the shoulder of the charging lycan. He fell away, more from surprise than my actual force.

    "I said I won''t submit!" I barked out.

    He blinked, then backed up. For a split second I saw his ears flatten against his head as confusion and conflict flashed in those red irises. We both knew the weight of what I just said, what it meant. I challenged him as alpha. He had to respond.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

    The lycan''s gaze hardened. I braced myself, though I knew it wouldn''t help. The impact of the charging lycan sent us both tumbling in somersaults through the forest''s wet snow.

    The albino snapped and snarled, but made no contact. He was trying to intimidate without doing damage. All he wanted was for me to submit, he didn''t take me as a legitimate threat.

    I punched him in the jaw, hard.

    That set him off. I felt the moment his instincts took over. Long claws tore through my jacket. I gasped as they reached skin, biting into flesh and drawing blood.

    Cerberus leapt back. He stared at me in bewilderment. I could hardly believe the situation myself, but I couldn''t let him have his way, not this time. I took advantage of the pause to draw my dagger from its sheath, though I had no intention of seriously harming him.

    He leapt upon me again. I swung my dagger across his muzzle. Claws dug into frozen earth around me. Teeth flashed in my face. Growling barks echoed in my ears. His horrid breath was all I could smell.

    My dagger''s blade dragged across his chest. It didn''t actually cut through his fur, but he could feel it, and know I was serious.

    His hands grabbed at my wrists, pinning them above my head and knocking the dagger from my grasp. The joints screamed at the weight pressing into them. Thick saliva joined my tears on my cheeks, creating freezing lines of wetness on heated skin.

    "Submit."

    I raised my chin. "I refuse."

    He roared. My body trembled with the power, but I kept my gaze steady. His eyes, they were screaming in desperation now, and still I couldn''t understand a word of it. "Submit, now!"

    "I refuse."

    A click. Despite my reluctance, my eyes were torn from our staring match. Cyrus had his gun pointed at the albino lycan.

    "Back off, Hellhound."

    Cerberus growled in response. He wasn''t intimidated by the weapon, though he should be. Cyrus had his head at nearly point blank.

    "Don''t interfere!" I almost screamed it. "This is pack business, it''s none of your concern!"

    The man frowned. "Desire, this is insane."

    I stared at him until his gaze caught on mine. I looked straight into his stormy eyes. "You asked me to trust you, and I do. Now I am asking for that trust in return. I can handle this."

    Cyrus frowned deeper, then grimaced. Slowly, with much hesitation and doubt, he lowered the firearm. With that dealt with, I turned my attention back to the massive canine.

    "And you asked me to trust your judgment on Cyrus. So I''m asking you now, trust my trust in Shirah. Until then, I will not submit."

    There was genuine regret in his voice. "She¡¯s lying."

    I sighed. Always so stubborn. I allowed my head to roll back, exposing my neck to him. "Then go on then. I challenge you."

    Smooth teeth brushed at my jugular. The seconds turned to eternity. The fear that had just been so distant was now thundering through my chest. Yet, it wasn''t death I feared, it was the possibility of betrayal of the highest trust I had ever given.

    High pitched whining sounded in my ears. A hot tongue lapped at my chin. Claws released my wrists, instead taking the weight of the lycan as he buried his forehead in the snow.

    "I submit."

    The world froze. Falling leaves hung suspended in still air. My heart stopped, then started again at the pace of a rabbit''s. My eyes were flooded with tears, waves of them rose up and crashed over me, drowning me in their depths.

    "No, Cerberus, you can''t!" I cried, clutching to the fur of his shoulders. "Please don''t! You can''t submit to me!"

    His face appeared above mine. I searched over those haunting eyes and deep pink nose, looking for the answers of a thousand questions in my mind. A gentle padded hand rested on the side of my cheek, wiping the tears from it. "I can''t fight you, my Lady."

    My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling me up to him. "But you can''t submit! I need you to tell me what to do!"

    The lycan glanced back at Shirah. "I have, but you refuse to listen." He pulled his paws underneath him and disentangled himself from me. I sat up as he turned toward the mountain forests.

    My heart twisted in knots. "But... don''t leave me..." He glanced my way, then trotted toward the boulders leading up a collapsed cliff face. "Don''t leave me!"

    I wanted Cerberus to come back, to wrap himself around me and be surrounded by his warmth and softness. I wanted him to promise to never leave my side. But my calls went unanswered as the albino bounded up the steep slope, leaving me alone in the wet snow.

 Chapter 50: Friends and Lovers

    It started snowing later that evening. Many of the lycans were hurt from their encounter with the bear. They huddled by fires, warming their sore bodies where they had been thrown against trees and rocks.

    One of the wild females had broken her neck. Her two cubs lay by her body, morning her death with quiet, whining cries.

    I passed through our temporary camp. Wetpaws, Sting, Soulflight, the half blind Clouded Eye, I knew most of the wild lycans by name and greeted them in turn. Seeing them hurt awakened old wounds that stung at my heart.

    This was Howens¡¯s fault. That town, the innermost of the border villages, had been completely decimated. Every person killed, every building destroyed. The worst part was thinking about their stories, the lives they lived, each forging their own tale abruptly ended in terror. I wondered how the last of them felt. Had they fought? Had they given up hope? Had they welcomed death as an end to their suffering and sorrow?

    "Desire!" Shirah''s voice called me over as I passed. I paused, looking her way. She sat between Scorchedpelt and Shadowfoot. The female lycan had limped back to camp a short while ago, struggling to make it on broken foreleg. The bone was set, but she was in no condition to travel.

    "You know, I''m sorry, right?" she said, staring down into the embers of the fire between us. "I didn''t mean to cause so much trouble."

    I forced on a soft smile. "It''s not your fault. That woman Balazza was trying to start problems." I stepped forward, sitting down on protruding rock. "But Cerberus doesn''t think like a human."

    She hung her head. "Yeah, well, I just hate seeing you two fight because of me."

    I laughed. The sound seemed almost alien in this somber environment. "It''s alright, really. We have disagreements all the time. He can be stubborn. Pretty soon we''ll disagree about something else and he''ll pin me down, demanding I submit again, just like he always does."

    Her eyes fixed on a point over my shoulder. I followed her gaze to where the subject of our conversation sat with Cyrus and Crimson Claw. He was speaking to them, but his haunting red stare wondered to us. I looked away before he caught my eyes.

    "I can''t imagine¡­¡± she started. ¡°I know he''s a lycan, but he just seems... defensive."

    I nodded, well aware of said lycan''s red stare burning into my back. "Albino cubs are usually born weak, small, often die. He was pushed to the outskirts of the pack. To survive, he had to be aggressive and fight his way to Alpha. Being anything less was never a choice." My fingers locked together. He wasn''t looking anymore, but I could still feel his attention focused on me. I wouldn''t doubt he could hear every word I said. "He taught himself how to hunt, that''s why he''s different."

    "What do you mean?"

    "Have you ever seen a lycan kill before?"

    "Fortunately not."

    Memories of the many times I witnessed the lycan''s aggression flashed through my mind. "They normally bite and tear, clawing their prey until it bleeds out or they hit something vital."

    "But he doesn''t?"

    I shook my head. "I''ve never seen him hunt with a pack. Whatever he catches alone he grabs by the throat and shakes."

    "That''s why he told you to go for the throat..." She swallowed, hand tracing around her own neck. "While we''re on the subject, why do the others call him Blood Eye?"

    "It''s his name." I removed my gloves to better warm my hands by the fire. "He once told me I had what he most desired, and so that would be my name. I agreed, but I chose a name for him as well. In the old world there was a legend of a three headed dog, a terrifying guardian of the underworld they called Cerberus."

    "It''s beautiful." I furrowed my brows. Shirah shook her head, smiling. "Your names for each other. I realize how much faith you must have in him to bare your neck the way you did. I would do anything for that kind of trust."

    "Don''t worry, you''ll earn it." She nodded, but didn''t seem convinced. "Hey," I said. She looked up. "Maybe you can teach me a thing or two? You probably saw I''m not a skilled warrior."

    She laughed at that,. "Definitely. It''s a deal then, since that''s twice you saved my life." Her eyes wandered around us, landing on the small group gathered two fires over. "You know how Nightmoon''s doing?"

    I squinted in their direction. From our distance, I could just make out the lycan''s ears flick forward then back. Jared was bent over her while conversing. "I think she''s awake."

    We both stood up. Scorchedpelt growled. I gave him a scolding glare.

    "She''s not a prisoner."

    He gave me a long stare, then lowered his eyes. "Yes, Alpha."If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    I frowned as we turned away. "Don''t call me that, you know that''s not my title." I couldn''t stop my eyes from wandering to Cerberus. "He''s just... being stubborn."

    We left the pair, whom I recently learned were littermates, to make our way over to the other''s fire.

    "Dessy!" Alice greeted, "Look look!" She bounced around on Sunshine''s lap, pointing to the lycan resting her head on Jared''s lap. He covered her ears, hushing the toddler.

    "She''s still groggy," he explained, "and has a headache, but it''s getting better."

    I nodded, kneeling beside Nightmoon. Her ears flicked my way. She gave a slight nod of acknowledgment, then closed her vibrant eyes.

    "Can I see the dart?" Shirah asked.

    Jared handed me the orange feathered needle which had stuck in the lycan''s shoulder. I briefly examined it before passing it on. The woman held the tip to her nose, sniffing it.

    "Smells like demonsleep." She held the dart out for me to smell. A bitter earthy scent met my nose. "It''s made from a fungus imported from Detris, Askance is too cold for it to grow. I''ve used it several times, even a few drops is deadly to humans."

    "You think they were trying to kill the bear?" I doubted it. The woman specifically stated she expected it to wake up.

    "It''s also used as a sedative for large animals." I craned my head back to look at Cyrus, who stood behind me. "They used it on the lycans in Preene until they found a safer substitute."

    Shirah nodded her agreement, stating she had seen it used on horses as well. I tried not to think about the lycans they must have experimented on to find a substitute.

    Large hands curled around my shoulders. "Desire, can I speak to you a minute? Alone?"

    "Yeah, sure." I stood, glancing back as I began to follow him. Shirah offered a conspiratorial wink, shooing me off with her hands. Somehow her actions encouraged me, quelling a bit of the nervousness that accompanied the request.

    Sooner than I thought I was alone with Cyrus. My stomach did a little flip. I wanted to be alone with him, as much as I tried to tell myself I didn''t. I waited for him to speak as my mind ran itself in circles.

    "What were you thinking?" he finally demanded after a full minute of pacing. He turned in his heels to face me. "He could have killed you."

    I frowned. "You never seemed all that worried before."

    Cyrus strode forward, reaching out to tug on the crudely patched sleeves of my coat. "You never seemed to be edging him on. Really, it was like you were trying to get a reaction. You happy now?"

    I swatted his hands away, "Of course not. I was trying to save Shirah."

    He pursed his lips in an almost feminine expression of discontent. "Yes, that was very noble of you, but did you ever consider your own neck while you were putting it on the line?"

    "A calculated risk," I huffed. "What do you care?"

    Cyrus rested his hands on my shoulders. I tried to ignore the fluttering of my heart. I liked Cyrus, I shouldn''t want him to touch me. I shouldn''t be hoping he would embrace me. I was poisonous in every way.

    He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. "Listen, I''ve been trying to say it, but apparently in too many words. Really, I''ve been hoping you''d figure it out yourself..."

    "Well, what is it then?" I just wanted him to spit it out so this could be over and I could run back to the safety of the others.

    Storming blue eyes locked mine in their turbulent depths. "Desire, I am completely in love with you."

    I yanked away as if he had attacked me. It felt like he had. My mind reeled in defensive instincts.

    "No, you can''t!" I cried, throwing my hands up to keep him away.

    "Why not?" It was hard to stomach the obvious hurt in his eyes.

    My body was a mess of emotions. I felt trapped. Claustrophobia reared its terrifying head, gnawing at my core. "How dare you?" I screamed it. "How dare you? How dare you?!"

    "Desire calm down!" I struggled against his hands on my arms as he steered me backwards, bracing us against a tree. Now I really was trapped. I lashed out, trying to free myself. It was no use, Cyrus was much stronger. "Why are you so upset?"

    "Because I don''t deserve you!" I wailed, halfheartedly pushing against his chest. "I don''t deserve all this... goodness."

    "Goodness?" Cyrus raised an eyebrow, a small smirk gracing his features. "I didn''t know you enjoyed your night with me that much."

    I punched him, laughing despite myself. I felt so stupid, giggling through my tears. "You know what I meant. I''m terrible, I can''t have friendship and... love." I whispered the last word. "I can''t have a happy ending. I''ve tried and failed and every time I do I lose everything I want to keep."

    He sighed again. He looked like he wanted to protest, but didn''t. Instead he moved his hands to my cheeks, holding my face in soft sheepskin. "Listen, when is the ending really? When we stop fighting? When we ride into the sunset? When we die? If you''re looking for a time we quit having problems, that''s what you''ll be waiting for. So why not take our happy now, and leave the ending for later?"

    I let him wipe the tears from my eyes. "But my happiness is poisonous." Looking at his face it seemed a weak excuse.

    "It doesn''t have to be."

    "How?"

    "I''ll show you." He reached into the neck of his coat, pulling his black mask from around his neck and hooking it over his nose. I stiffened, but didn''t resist as he leaned down.

    His warmth spread through the fabric as he pressed it between us. It eased the tension in my limbs. I surrendered to him, allowing him to kiss me through the protective mask.

    It wasn''t as pleasant as skin contact, but it was something. I could have something, and something was a whole lot better than cold, bitter nothing.

    His grin was visible through his mask. "See? I told you there''s a way you can have some of this goodness."

    I slapped his arm, giggling. After a moment''s consideration I jumped up, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him back. His strong hands gripped at my sides, holding me up.

    "Now you''re making me jealous of your victims. Why wasn''t I fortunate enough to be captured by the Lady of the Lycan Mountains?" He leaned to whisper in my ear, "If this is terrible, I want more."

    I flicked him on the nose. He dropped me, rubbing the offended facial feature.

    "Not that kind of terrible. That''s just plain mean."

    I snickered and stuck out my tongue. He rolled his eyes, but couldn''t hide his grin.

    "Well I suppose we better make a showing back at camp before the hellhound gets too jealous. I wouldn''t want to worry him while he''s in such a murderous mood." He turned me around, steering me back the way we had come. I lay my head on his shoulder as we walked side by side. His smugness was evident in his voice. "And just think, after we get the cure all this goodness can be yours."

    "Shut up," I laughed.

    "Hey, normally this goodness isn''t cheap."

    It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. "You normally charge?¡±

    "No, but I could. Free for the queen of course."

    "Do you ever shut up?"

    "Nope. All this goodness can''t be contained."

 Chapter 51: Ridge

    Leaving the mountain region, the snow became shallower and the spring more apparent. Although the temperatures were milder, the nights felt colder. The first night, I slept with Cerberus. He had simply lain beside me, allowing me to curl to his side for warmth but not making any effort to return the affection. The second night I gave in to Cyrus''s requests and spent the night with him. Although I enjoyed being held in his arms, he couldn''t compensate for the distance I felt from my guardian, and it would be unfair to expect him to.

    It had been two days since we left the wounded and young, taking only on the individuals fit to fight. We rode the day previously, but now that we were so close to the capital city the lycans slowed their pace to a walk, conserving their strength. I chose to continue the journey on foot while Cerberus trotted near the front of the pack.

    "You¡¯re looking listless again," Cyrus said, shaking the arm he had draped around my shoulder. I shot him a small smile.

    "Sorry, I''m just a little tired."

    The man huffed, frowning. "And I can''t even take credit." He shook his head. "Six months ago, I would have never imagined I''d be this anxious for a war."

    "Six months ago, I was still in the subways," Jared said from atop Nightmoon. He hadn''t been able to walk much since the sores opened on his feet. However, he didn''t seem to be bothered by it. In fact, the boy was more cheerful now than he had ever been in the palace.

    Alice wiggled on Sunshine''s back. "What about me, Dessy? Where was I six months ago?"

    I scooped her up, supporting her on my hip. "I don''t know. Six months ago was before I met you."

    She made a sour face. "Oh, I didn''t like six months ago then."

    "Neither did I." I frowned at her still scrunched features. "What''s the matter?"

    "My head hurts."

    I swallowed. "Oh." I hugged her close to my chest. "It''s okay, it''ll be over soon."

    I spotted a scout speaking to Cerberus and Graniteback ahead of us. After a nod from the alpha, she came bounding back to us.

    "There''s been a landslide ahead," Soulflight explained, standing her full height as she spoke. "The hillside collapsed, but the ridge is sturdy granite."

    I rubbed the back of Alice''s head as I considered what to do. It wasn''t unheard of for even solid rock to break loose and fall. However, I was equally hesitant to give up the higher ground.

    With the snow melt creating rivers which washed away the soil, the likelihood of another landslide was high, especially under the weight of a thousand lycan''s paws.

    Another wild lycan bounded up the steep slope, this one a young male coming from the valley below. He skipped past Cerberus and ran straight for me.

    "Howens'' army approaches from below, three thousand humans."

    "Is Balazza or the bear with them?"

    A lean female I knew to be named Rabbitrun slid down the loose forest substrate from the height of the ridge. "She and the bear are on the other side with an additional thousand soldiers."

    They were trying to trap us. My mind buzzed with thoughts, each weighing a different scenario. The bear itself could severely cripple my forces and the men could hold us long enough for Howens to circle round the ridge. Howens'' force of three thousand was more of an even match, but more than enough to allow Balazza to release her monster.

    "Are there any men on the ridge?"

    Soulflight shook her head. "None I could see or smell."

    "And trees, would we have enough cover?"

    She hesitated. "Possibly... enough not to be immediately apparent."

    "It doesn''t matter. We''ll walk the ridge. We only need to pass their armies, then we can outrun them."

    "But the ridge is already proven unstable," Nightmoon protested. "We have the numbers to take the three thousand."

    I shook my head. "Not without heavy loss. I want to conserve our strength until the main forces come."

    "We''ll appear weak-"

    "I am Lady of the Lycan Mountains." I lifted my chin, meeting her eyes and staring her down. "I say we cross the ridge."

    Nightmoon held my gaze a full minute before she lowered her head. "Yes, Alpha."

    I sighed, closing my eyes. "Don''t call me that."

    A light force bumped my arm. I glanced behind me, finding Cerberus standing there. He bent a foreleg. "On. We must move quickly."

    I stepped over his shoulders, taking Alice with me as I settled myself on his back. Sunshine trotted beside us, looking up to me expectantly.

    "Dessy..." The little girl whined, clutching at my jacket. Fear tinted her voice.

    "I know Alice, it''s going to be okay." I secured her in front of me. "This is the only time I''m going to ask you, please, can you try to be quiet? We need to be quiet now."

    She nodded against my chest. "I''ll try..."

    "I''ll give her back after," I whispered to the tan captivebred. "I need to keep her quiet." Sunshine nodded, but followed close on Cerberus''s heels.

    The top of the ridge was hardly wide enough for a single line of lycans to pass through the trees. On either side of us the slope was a steep wash of brown, at the bottom a plane of foliage and fallen debris. The men which traveled across it stood out like specks of blood on the forest floor.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    Both sides were clear to see, no doubt we would be easily spotted if they thought to look closely. The lycans padded silently along the rocky terrain. Alice trembled in my arms, but kept her mouth clamped shut as she pressed her face to my chest.

    It wasn''t long before we were directly between the armies. Balazza was easy enough to spot, riding just ahead of the cart which held the pacing bear. It rocked and shook with the animal''s shifting weight, making it difficult for the horses to pull through the soft mud.

    On the other side the force of men was larger. It took me a few moments of consideration to spot Howens, present in the middle of his forces. Despite being the same color as the other soldiers, his uniform was somehow more vibrant. It was only upon closer inspection could I see the shattered patterns of deep orange and highlights of pale yellow, giving him the appearance of flickering flame. He had let his hair grow out, wavy blond locks now reached his shoulders. A hand rested on the pommel of the sword strapped to his side. His head turned as he scanned the landscape, but had yet to glance up to the ridge.

    I felt Alice''s trembling ease and breathed a sigh of relief. This one had passed fairly quickly. I motioned for Sunshine to come closer so I could return the toddler to him. The tan lycan hurriedly doubled his pace, fur pressed to my leg as he used a wide outcropping to get beside us.

    I wrapped my arms around the girl, preparing to  lift her. A muffled crack and scrape sounded below our feet. The rocks gave way, sending the captivebred falling with an avalanche of rocks.

    "Sunshine!"

    Cerberus twisted around, grabbing the smaller male''s leather harness. He heaved the lycan up to studier ground. However, it was too late. Any chance we had of avoiding notice was lost with Alice''s scream.

    Howens was looking right at us.

    Shouted orders echoed in the valley opposite. Chains rattled as the bear roared at the frenzy of excitement around it. Balazza had noticed us too. The lycans leapt back from that side, scrambling away from the red and orange darts flying our way.

    More scrapes and cracks from the rocks in protest to the added weight. My legion scattered as best they could from a tipping tree. The massive plant tumbled down the steep slope with the rocks which gave way beneath it.

    We had to get down, before the entire ridge collapsed. I had to chose, Howens or Balazza.

    I glanced at the giant bear. Howens was the better choice.

    "Down right!" I shouted. My lycans followed the order immediately, leaping from the ridge to slide down the side. Cerberus sat back on his hind legs as we joined them. The Asken army retreated to make room for our arrival.

    I pulled Alice from my chest, placing her on Sunshine''s back. The tan lycan immediately drew back into the body of my legion. That matter taken care of I glared up at the man I had come to face.

    "Howens." It was all the greeting I could manage. Blood boiled in my veins.

    "Good afternoon, Desire," the lord said in a sickenly polite tone. "Seems you''ve done well for yourself. I''ve heard tell Preene''s King fell for the little trick you tried to play on the late Perimone."

    I scowled. "And who told you this?"

    "An informant of course." He shrugged. "It was about a month ago if I remember correctly."

    "That''s impossible!" I growled. "The mountain pass was snowed in."

    The smirk that crossed his face made me want to stab him right then. "Believe it or not, I know those mountains much better than your dogs."

    Several snarls sounded behind me. I scowled at the man. "I wouldn''t insult them, if I were you."

    Howens shrugged again. "It was merely a statement of fact. Humans are smarter than lycans. Despite what you seem to believe, we are too creative to be conquered by such a beastal race." He paused. "Speaking of which, I brought you a present."

    With a practiced flurrish of his hand, he pulled a short tube from his pocket and raised it to his mouth. A dart flew from its core, sticking Cerberus in the shoulder.

    The plane exploded in a flurry of chaos. Lycans pounced upon horses, dragging riders from their saddles to rip them to pieces. The ground troops raised spears, trying to defend against the furious canines.

    I yanked the dart from Cerberus''s pelt. The tip was stained red. I threw it away in favor of holding onto his fur as he leapt into battle.

    Powerful muscles rippled and flexed under my thighs. With a few swipes the albino lycan cleared a circle around us. The pause gave me time to yank off my gloves. Now bare hands, I pulled my dagger from its sheath.

    Spear heads fell away, their shafts snapped by the force of the lycan''s paws. His snarl vibrated through him as he lunged forward, disemboweling a man with his long claws. Soldiers rushed in from behind. My dagger''s blade slid across my palm. I hooked my legs around the lycan''s waist, bending back and lashing out at anyone unfortunate enough to be within reach. The men stumbled back as my poisonous blood soaked into bare skin.

    Cerberus reached back to pull me upright as he dropped to all fours. He leapt over his fallen adversaries, charging those who stood behind them. Another dart whizzed through the air. It missed, burying itself in the arm of a dead man. The second hit Cerberus in the thigh. I kicked it away.

    We were deep in a group of soldiers. Not far away I spotted Shirah, now dismounted and spinning in a flurry of small arms. She was accompanied by several of the wild scouts. Behind us the captivebreds were holding a firm line against the advancing troops. I was surprised to find Jared among their number. He looked like a zombie with much of his rotting flesh exposed. Somehow he had discarded his shirt and was using my technique of stunning the soldiers with his skin as Nightmoon ran him up and down their ranks.

    Everywhere I looked there were men clad in the uniforms of Askance. I sliced my palm again, drawing enough blood to turn my fist into a deadly weapon. I used my blade in conjunction with my natural toxicity to defend my partners back as we moved from regiment to regiment, slaughtering a path through our enemies. Darts flew around us. I knocked them loose as when they hit.

    Then an opening appeared, a break in the defensive forces surrounding the commanding officers. In our sights was a clear path to Howens, sitting smugly upon his steed. Cerberus bounded forward. Yet the lord didn''t move, he simply stayed there, a self satisfied smirk upon his face.

    I felt the stiffness in Cerberus''s limbs a fraction of a second before the next dart hit. I felt him falter, the way his claws dragged along the soft dirt and his own momentum ran himself over. I was thrown from the falling lycan. Instinct yanked my hands over my head as his massive weight crashed over me, knocking the breath from my lungs. My face was shielded by my forearms as I continued to roll.

    The sky was gray wash. Somehow, picturing it blue suddenly seemed like an unrealistic dream. It was always gray, with rain, with snow, sometimes because it had no other color to be, not in the world I lived in.

    My head screamed out. I grit my teeth against the pain. A brownish figure entered my hazy field of vision. A black figure slid off it, running to my side and helping me sit up. There was too much commotion, too much noise going on around me. Now it was my ribs which screeched.

    Cyrus leapt to his feet, swinging his saber wide. Without his support I fell forward. My whole chest fought every breath I took. I coughed. My mind momentarily blurred.

    "Desire, are you okay?" I was being pulled to my feet. I clutched Cyrus''s arm.

    "Cerberus..."

    "Um..."

    My gaze wandered out. Strangely, we weren''t surrounded, as I would expect. My eyes found my albino companion, lifted by a company of six men. The draft skittered as they hoisted the lycan on it''s back. The animal seemed to struggle under his weight.

    "Cerberus...?"

    Then it hit me. They were taking him! Howens couldn''t capture Cerberus! I couldn''t let him!

    "Cerberus!"

    My every muscle and every joint was a needle of pain as I broke free of Cyrus''s grasp, running toward the sedated lycan. I didn''t care. I couldn''t let them harm him. The man quickly caught me, arms wrapping tight around my body as I struggled against him.

    "Cerberus!"

    The panicked adrenaline began to fade from my veins, leaving my limbs weak. I still fought with all the strength I had left, even as darkness encroached on the corners of my vision. My thoughts faded into a confused blur.

    "Cerberus..."

 Chapter 52: Trade

    Obria was a city surrounded by an unscalable wall. It was short, its two-story buildings midgets compared to the towering complexes of Cicil. It was a town by Preene''s standards, and not a large one at that. Smoke from the many chimneys rose above it in a gray smog which joined the clouds above.

    My sides hurt from the effort of breathing. I didn''t need a doctor to tell me being crushed by a lycan had fractured several of my ribs. I did my best to ignore the pain as I gripped the fur between Graniteback''s shoulders, sliding off in front of one of Obria''s many gates. The man beside me followed suit.

    "You should go before the guards come," I said as my companions turned to me, "I don''t want them to mistake this as a hostile action."

    Cyrus frowned, stepping forward to place his hands on my shoulders. "You shouldn''t go alone."

    "I have to," was my quiet mutter. In truth I didn''t want to go in that city at all. But Howens had my most trusted, loyal friend. I had to free him, and I had to do it myself. I couldn''t let anyone else get involved.

    The man stared at me. I fidgeted under his gaze. His eyes ran over my body, not in their usual appreciation, rather, as if he were considering me as a whole. He took in my battered form, my torn clothing and the hand Shirah had wrapped in soft cloth. After a full minute he let out a great sigh. "I can''t stop you, can I?"

    I set my jaw, fighting for steady breath and to still my shivering. "No."

    He nodded, though his expression protested. "Don''t be too long, and don''t agree to anything foolish."

    My gaze fell to the ground. "I won''t."

    Cyrus pulled his mask over his face, bending down to kiss me. I pushed back the tears the gesture summoned.

    The gates opened. He stepped back, swinging up on Claw''s back. Graniteback gave a short bow.

    "Be careful, Lady Desire."

    "I will," I nearly whispered as they turned from me, galloping off into the forest.

    The guards sent to collect me made no remark as they ushered me through the gates. They didn''t say a word as we passed through the city, only stood on either side as we walked along desolate streets.

    Obria felt abandoned. Very few businesses were open, even fewer shoppers walked between them. I spotted a few curious glances through fogged windows. This was a far cry from the bustling capital city I had first visited under Perimone''s regime.

    The palace changed most of all. The old world''s glass wall had been replaced by the same stone and cement that formed the outer walls. Shards of glass crunched under my feet as I made my way up stone stairs. Twisted remains of the revolving door''s hardware lay not too far away in a dead bush to the side of the entrance. The heavy wooden replacement swung inward, allowing us inside.

    The room I was led to was dimly lit by candles placed on a long table. Where there once was a window was simply a cement slab, painted to match the silver-gray walls and decor. Howens sat at the far end of the table, Balazza to his right. The guards escorted me inside, then promptly left, closing the door behind them.

    "Ah, you''re here I see," Howens remarked, squaring a stack of papers before handing them to Balazza. "Awfully rude of you to come unannounced, but seeing as it was expected, all is forgiven."

    I could never forgive him for what he had done, and all he planned on doing. "Your actions are invitation enough."

    He wore a sky blue silk blouse. Paired with the gray of the room, it reminded me of the beautiful wedding Darrius gave me. The thought made my skin crawl. Blue and silver were Preene''s colors; they had no place in Askance. I looked to the concrete slab, anything to take my eyes off him. "This place is looking more like a fortress than it used to."

    "Yes, the people have been rowdy as of late, several took to throwing stones through the glass." The Askan lord waved a hand, dismissing Balazza. She held up her head, traveling with a stiff military pace past me. Howens''s eyes followed her out the door, then switched to mine. "I would ask you what you''re here for, but I already know."

    "How did your informants cross the mountains before me?"The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    He shrugged, then gestured to the seat beside him. I strode to the offered chair as he answered. "That''s confidential information. It could be detrimental should it ever leave this palace." He watched me sit down, hands resting lightly on the table. "But you don''t plan on leaving here, do you?"

    I set my jaw, lifting my chin. "No, I don''t."

    Howens¡¯s sigh left a small smirk in its wake. He stared at the space above the door. "You''re a strange pair, you and that lycan. Capture one, the other comes running." He looked back at me. "But all lycans come running at your call, don''t they?"

    I didn''t answer. I didn''t have to, he could read everything in my expression.

    "I always thought they were a horribly misused resource in Preene. But you''re not afraid to use them to their true potential." He gave me a slight nod. "I admire you for that."

    "How do you know about Preene?" This time my voice was more demanding, I wanted answers. "Crossing over the mountains has been impossible for months."

    His smirk grew. I fought the urge to reach over and smack him. I wanted to reopen my palm just to watch him die of my poison.

    "Over yes," he said lightly, though I had no doubt he could guess my murderous thoughts, "But you see, under is just a matter of distance."

    My mind caught his meaning almost instantly. "The subways."

    Howens nodded. His grin showed ever one of his bleached teeth. "Those urchins underground never venture far from their city, but if they did, they would discover there is one line that runs directly from Cicil to Obria. It''s not in the best state, flooded in some areas, but clear. You know, I''ve brought you there."

    "When you captured me for Perimone," I growled.

    "Yes!" he said. "Clever! I discovered it when I was young, and followed it all the way to Cicil. There, I discovered the wonder that was Preene." He said it as if lost in a pleasant memory. "So many people, wonders, colors! I fell in love with Preene''s culture. It''s been a dream of mine to unite her with Askance. Think of the knowledge we could exchange, the growth we could achieve together."

    His expression sobered, then turned sour. "But I quickly learned as an adult others couldn''t be trusted with my vision. They''d only corrupt it. They can''t even run one country correctly." He huffed, glaring at me. "You know they think you''ll save them, don''t you? The outer villages hate you, but they still swear allegiance because they can''t see past their pitchforks to the bigger picture."

    The horrible part was I could understand him, sympathize, even agree with him. Askance and Preene could benefit from an alliance. Preene was more technologically advanced, while Askance had more trade routes through Detris. I knew what it was like to be frustrated by blind masses, and I definitely understood what it was like to be hated.

    Howens got to his feet, releasing a great sigh. "Well, I know what you came for, and I''m certain you can guess what I''ll want in return, so I suppose it''s best we get on with it."

    ***

    The hallway chilled me. The cool cement was hidden from the warmth of the sun. I didn''t mind the temperature, though. Neither did I pay attention to the direction of our travels down metal staircases and long hallways. My thoughts were on the outer wall, staring out into the melting wilderness.

    Howens brought me to one of the guard towers stationed along the wall, where I was able to see them pull a cart from the lower levels of the tower. The lord explained what a difficult prisoner he had been, how he refused to volunteer anything other than threats, even in the promise of release. I was focused on the cart, and the snarling lycan restrained by a chain net. My eyes didn''t leave my albino companion as the men undid the locks holding him outside the gate. By the time he untangled himself from his restraints, the doors to the city were already closed.

    I watched as the lycan looked around, doubtlessly wondering why he had been released. I watched as he sniffed the surrounding area. I saw him find the tracks I left outside, and I saw the understanding dawn in those beautiful, haunting irises.

    Then I watched as he charged the door, growling and snarling as he demanded to be let back in.

    Howens made the quiet remark it would be troublesome if he continued. He needn''t have bothered though, I had already drawn breath for my howl. The sound caught the lycan''s attention. Our gazes met.

    I didn''t say anything, but he knew. His ears flattened against his head. His eyes switched from mine to the gate doors and back again. Slowly, reluctantly, I shook my head. Standing two stories up, my hellhound suddenly seemed so small as he shrank back. He held my gaze a moment longer, then turned, bounding up the hill and into the forest.

    I slid my gloves back on my hands and allowed them to be bound together.

    Now, Howens led me down to the lower levels of that very tower. We wove through a network of hallways, eventually leading me to a cellblock. Iron bars rose from the cement. Without prompting, I strode into the nearest unit, turning on my heels to watch Howens close the door behind me.

    "This was the same cell I kept your dog in," he said thoughtfully, "Could you smell him on the walls?"

    I couldn''t bring myself to remark. I focused on breathing through my sore ribs.

    The lord leaned in close to the bars. "This is unfortunate. Of all people, I believe you are the only one who uses their resources correctly and to their fullest potential." The lock clicked shut. "But I haven''t come this far to be second to anyone."

    It was only when he left did I let myself fall. I collapsed to my knees, hands pressed to the cold floor.

    I was right back where I started. I couldn''t stop my trembling, no more the I could stop the fat tears gathering in my eyes. I was back where I had always been, back to the life I thought I escaped. I had done so much, fought so hard, had it all been nothing? Was this it, my inescapable destiny?

    I wrapped my arms around myself, and screamed. Pain exploded in my chest, raging like a wild forest fire through my body. I welcomed it, it was so much more bearable than everything else around me.

    At least Cerberus was free. It was my only consolation as I curled into the smallest ball I could manage and wallowed in fear and pain. At least I had not failed my guardian.

 Chapter 53: Captive

    <i>Darkness. The boredom was broken only by bouts of fear accompanying any scents or sounds out of the ordinary. Now I smelt my captor''s richly perfumed body and heard his footsteps, triggering my heart to pound in horrifying anticipation.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>But as he entered the room I smelt something else, something baked and sweet. Bread, no, pastries. My mouth watered as the smells awoke my ever present hunger.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>The brightness of the room was striking. I blinked in the sudden light I had only glimpsed through the fabric covering my eyes. My captor''s long face and deeply tanned skin swam into my vision.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"You''re not sleeping, are you?"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"No sir," I mumbled. I tried not to look at his furred coat, a luxury I dared not ask for. I told myself I should be grateful for the long-sleeved dress he provided me.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>He slipped on a glove, seizing me around the jaw to force my head side to side, examining my face.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"Passable," he muttered. I immediately looked to the floor as soon as he released me. I was never more than passable. His next comment stung more. "It would help if you''d grow some womanly curves. Even in that dress you look like a little boy."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I didn''t look at the tray he placed on the table. It would only decrease my odds of getting one if I stared.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>My captor dropped himself on the seat opposite me. "Oh, and try not to kill anyone today. You bring in so few clients as it is, and disposing of the bodies is a pain."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I swallowed, then nodded. I desperately hoped no one would break their time limit. It had cost me my meal the day previous.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>The door opened. I tensed. The day had begun.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"Shepard, how are you?"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>Shepard, a man in a richly tailored suit made to fit around a body swollen from an equally rich lifestyle. He leaned on a carved cane to support some of his immense weight as he eyed me with hungry, beady eyes. "I''m here, what d''you think? Need one of Joy''s kisses."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"That''s what she''s here for," my captor said, "If you''ll just pay our fee you can-"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>A fabric pull string purse fell to the table. I closed my eyes. I didn''t need to look at my captor to know he was already counting his money. He didn''t care enough to watch me.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I didn''t like the way his fat fingers wrapped around my arms. I hated his chubby face with its double chins and gold teeth. It hurt that he put so much pressure on me, crushing my arms with his unbalanced weight. But he was Shepard, known as King of Selic. He was the leader of all organized crime here. He ran this city.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>And I was a nobody, a girl whose only purpose was to make him happy.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I was glad when he pulled his nasty lips off me, though I had to resist flinching as he patted my arm. His smile was even worse than his grimace.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"She''ll be a woman soon. Let me know when you''re ready to talk price. I can make you a very rich man."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>My captor nodded, grinning. He was a fool. Shepard was in a good mood, that was the only reason he offered to buy me. When he decided he really wanted me, my captor would be disposed of. King Shepard never let others keep his money for long.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I was glad when Shepard left. However, the lack of distraction only focused my mind on the delightfully sweet scent of the pastries I knew I was forbidden to look at. Their wonderful doughy aroma was complimented by the sharp creamy smell of cheese. My stomach ached with need, but it was my tears of longing which gave me away.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"What you crying about?" My captor asked in a scolding tone. The metal platter gave a soft thunk as the piece he was eating was dropped to its surface.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"Nothing," I murmured. I shouldn''t say, to speak would risk making him angry.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>His mouth turned into a frown. "Tell me, now."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I hesitated. I shouldn''t say. He''d accuse me of begging and I''d starve to the brink of death before he gave me another scrap. But if I lied, he''d hit me in places no one could see, then do the same.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"I-I... I''m hungry... "</i>

    <i>	</i><i>My captor got up. I leaned back as he loomed over me. "You, you''re hungry are you? You want one of these?" He held a steaming pastry infront if my face. I wanted to nod, to snatch it out of hand and stuff it into my aching stomach. Yet fear held my hands stiff to my sides. I dared not move, save to flinch away from his gesturing hand. "You want your breath to smell like cheese when customers come here to kiss you? You want to get fat and ugly?"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I shook my head, when in truth I wanted to nod. I wanted to smell of cheese and to get fat and for my teeth to rot away if only it meant I was fed and away from anyone who wished to touch me. But that wasn''t going to happen, no matter how much I wished it, so I shook my head.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"Good," he said, stepping back. "Then you sit your ass up and wait till I decide you''re hungry."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I shouldn''t cry. I knew with every fiber of my being I shouldn''t cry. I tried with every one of those fibers to stop the tears from coming, to stop the strangled choke from escaping my throat. I was just so hungry.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"I thought I told you to quit your crying!"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I flinched at the hand on my face. However, he hadn''t hit me, simply come to wipe the tears from my cheek. I stared up to his dark eyes.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"I''ll make you a deal. You quit crying and smile for our customers, and I''ll let you read a page or two while you eat dinner tonight."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>My breath caught. To read, to have something to think about other than the utter misery of my life was a rare treat, a single candle burning in a sea of darkness.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I didn''t want to speak. I didn''t want to put this offer in any jeopardy. But his bare hand was on my skin and I needed to say, "I can''t smile, I''m not happy."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"Fake it, see?" He gave me a forced grin that displayed every one of his yellowed teeth. "Wear it like a mask." He patted my cheek. "You get used to it."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>The door opened. My captor turned around. I hurriedly finished clearing my face with my sleeve, plastering the most pleasant smile I could manage on my features. I couldn''t let anything threaten the chance to glimpse into that beautiful world contained on the pages of the book.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>It was a wasted effort though. I knew from the moment I saw who stepped through the door how this was going to go. I had seen it a hundred times before.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>A disheveled looking man stood in the doorway. I could smell him from where I sat. Bushy eyebrows rose above crazed eyes. "Please, just one," were the first words out of his rotting mouth. "Just one kiss, please, I need her."</i>

    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    <i>	</i><i>My captor glared down at the hunched beggar. "We''ve had this conversation before, Sigger, Joy''s services are only open to paying customers."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"No, no, you don''t understand! I need her!"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"This city is shit. This world is shit. We all need Joy''s talents." He crossed his arms. "You the one that don''t seem to understand. Happiness is a limited resource round here. You want it, you gotta pay."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>He didn''t know. My captor couldn''t sense it like I could. He couldn''t hear the ring in Singer''s voice, the one that spoke of an addict beyond desperation.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I could have warned him. It would have been easy to yell out in just a few words.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>But what if this could help me? What if Sigger was kinder, or his laziness allowed me to escape? What if the conflict drew the attention of Shepard and he decided it would be better to keep me himself?</i>

    <i>	</i><i>Sigger was moving. He was partially shielded by my captor''s form in front of me. I couldn''t see what it was he drew from his belt.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>The loudest bang I had ever heard echoed through the room.</i>

    ***

    "Wake up."

    I opened my eyes, switching them to glare at the Asken lord. "I wasn''t sleeping."

    Howens shrugged. His face was close to the bars. Too close. I could bite my tongue and spit blood at him. But then I would still be trapped. He knew better than to bring the key to my prison within reach, even with my hands bound as they were.

    I was captured, a prisoner, just as before. I stuffed that horrible reality back down my throat before it gave away the secret fear poisoning my mind.

    He grinned. He could read my eyes like a book, look through my mask into my thoughts. "It''s strange, I thought your legion would be howling at my gates by now."

    "They''re waiting for the rest of my army." I stared at the blank wall opposite me.

    The lord raised an eyebrow. "Strange you would admit that."

    I frowned. "You knew it already. It''s not like you can stop them. Obria will fall once they arrive."

    "Ah, but you''re forgetting the Gici Awas."

    I didn''t let the fear of that show on my face. He may already know it, but I wasn''t going to make it obvious. "My lycans are four of your men, and  my human regiments outnumber yours. One bear won''t make a difference."

    He grinned. "The Gici Awas is no ordinary bear. But you knew that already."

    "Besides being hairless, not all that different. The lycans will take it down."

    His painfully smug expression remained. "I went through quite the effort to get that bear from Detris. Had to wake it up from hibernation. And getting the sedative without people learning of its origin was difficult as well."

    "No, it wasn''t," I huffed. "You had it shipped it in with the coffee."

    "Clever! Clever!" he cheered. "Yes, that is why I''ve always admired you. You think like me."

    "That worries me."

    Howens frowned. "Why is that?"

    "Because I''m not a good person."

    He laughed at that. "Yes, wel,l good leaders rarely are."

    My expression soured, but I made no remark. I had known two leaders I judged to be good men. Both were dead because of me. "And how exactly do you plan on controlling Preene and the lycans if you did happen to win? You have no claim to the throne or poison to tempt them."

    "I''m certain the trainers would support me."

    I snorted. "The captive lycans have driven the trainers from a minority to a rarity."

    "And what would you suggest?"

    I flipped onto my knees, bound hands resting on the floor. Howens raised an eyebrow as I leaned towards him. "Well, have you ever considered a marriage could place you as King of Preene?"

    "Really?" he said thoughtfully. "You would agree to such an arrangement?"

    "Of course," I purred. "You already know I would make an... advantageous wife. I could guarantee our marriage would always be a happy one."

    The lord nodded, then leaned in close. I grabbed the bars of my prison, pulling myself up so I could press my face between the cold iron rods. Our noses were a hair''s breadth away.

    Howens reached through bars, grabbing my chin in a gloved hand. "I''m not stupid. You''re a black widow."

    I yanked my face away, falling back with a hiss. He chuckled at my foul expression. A creak from the door''s hinges brought our attention to the person entering.

    "Ah, Balazza," Howens greeted. He stood, striding over to meet her. She stopped, standing with a rigid posture as she saluted him.

    "Lord Howens."

    "Come now Meridith, you needn''t be so formal," His gaze softened as he looked down on his military commander.

    Her disciplined expression faltered under his gentle stare. "But sir, we are not alone."

    The lord gave a dismissive gesture. "Nevermind her. No one will care about the ramblings of a prisoner, should she even be visited."

    Balazza started to speak, but was cut off by Howens taking her into his arms, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. Her face flushed as he let her go. He turned, strolling out of the room.

    "Meet me in my office when you''re finished. We have business to discuss."

    The blond military commander nodded, though he could no longer see her. Only once the click of his boot heels had faded down the hall did she turn to me, a scowl on her face. "Your tricks won''t work on him, he doesn''t go for sluts."

    I shrugged. "One touch and any man will beg for more."

    "Well, I can settle for one. I''m not a black widow like you." She knelt in the very spot Howens had been moments ago. "And I don''t need poison to keep him loyal, or to control beasts."

    "Except for your bear."

    She scoffed. "Bears are quite a bit harder than lycans."

    "You''re from Preene." I leaned back against the wall, watching as she blinked in surprise.

    "How¡¯d you know?"

    "I know a trainer when I see one."

    The military commander raised her chin, looking down her nose to me. "Yes, I''ve known Howens for a long time, back when he first came to Cicil."

    I stared back, keeping eye contact just as I did the lycans. "He''s only pretending to love you, you know." The brief falter in her expression brought a smile to my face. "He''s using you."

    Her features turned red as she ground her teeth together. "How would you know? The only way anyone would ever love you is if you poisoned them."

    I looked away, glaring hard at the cement wall as if it was the one which had insulted me. "That''s not true," I muttered.

    "Do you mean that man outside the gates?" Balazza laughed. "The one who needs a mask to kiss you? What kind of relationship can you ever have?"

    I tried to ignore the sting of her words, but she saw the crack in my defenses and drove the nail in deep.

    "Once he gets over his lust he''ll quickly leave you. Anyone can see you have no future."

    I closed my eyes as if that could shut her out. It was no use, I couldn''t not hear her remarks, no more than I could keep them from ripping me apart.

    "The children of the apocalypse are nothing but a destructive disease the world needs wait through until you die off. You''re nothing but the consequences of a mistake."

    I wanted to deny it, to protest and find some other reason children would be born with toxic bodies, some good reason. There was none.

    "You''re very existence is evil, you''re a living plague. Just because you''ve lived long enough to infect the government doesn''t mean you''re any more of a person." She could see how this was affecting me, how it shattered my facade and dug into my heart. A triumphant smile twisted her features as she delivered the final blow. "Face the truth, you''re not really even human."

    My arms wrapped around my aching chest. That was a phantom that haunted the edge of mind since childhood. To have it spoken so plainly by someone else, it felt impossible not to believe. My body labored for each breath, though it had little to do with my fractured ribs.

    Balazza was grinning now. She knew she had won. She knew she had gotten to me. The tears I tried to hide made me sick. When had I become so weak?

    "I came to deliver this myself. You should be honored." She unwrapped a thick fabric package. A slap of raw meat fell through the bars into the filth of the floor. Its rotting stench filled my cell. "All hail the Savage Queen."

    ***

    <i>Blood spattered my face. I fell off my chair, narrowly avoiding my falling captor. Sigger stood panting, still pointing a smoking stick of metal where he had stood.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I had only a brief moment of relief before he was on me. Rough hands pressed to the sides of my face, grinding dirt into my skin as the filthy man pressed his mouth to mine. I tried to hold my breath, to keep my stomach from turning in disgust at his horrid smell.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>No sooner had he let go than I was sent reeling to the floor. My cheek stung with the force of his blow. I coward under his crazed glare.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"You stupid bitch!" he screamed at me, "Look what you''ve made me do!" He grabbed my arm, yanking me up. I recoiled from his rotten breath. "And now you''re holding back on me! Can''t you do anything right?"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"I''m sorry-" I whimpered. His grip was painfully tight around my forearm.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"Com''on," the man growled, tugging me towards the door.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I pulled back, trying desperately to reach the now slightly blood spattered pastries lain out on the table. I didn''t care, I was so hungry I would have eaten them straight from my dead captor''s stomach. My fingers brushed against their crisp, sugary surface.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>A fist slammed into my shoulder, making me cry  out. "You don''t need that, you little pig."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"But... hungry..." It was difficult to speak through the tears clogging my throat. "And...the book..."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>Sigger growled as he spun me around, forcing me to face him. His hand stung as he struck me with another slap. "Listen here bitch, I''m not going to fill your gut or head with shit. You got one thing, and that''s make me happy. Anything else you''re gonna regret, got it?"</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I nodded. It was the only thing I could do. Sigger was a long time addict, he would kill me before I could make him pass out.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>"Then quit looking so god damned depressed."</i>

    <i>	</i><i>I wiped away my tears, painting on the best fake smile I could muster. But the moment he turned to shove open the door it dropped. I wished someone, anyone, could rescue me from the hell I endured.</i>

    <i>	</i><i>This hell that only ever seemed to get worse.</i>

 Chapter 54: Ally

    The cement walls of the wall''s guard tower held in the cold. I huddled against them despite their freezing touch. Staying still helped conserve my body heat and ease the strain on my ribs. Besides, if I pressed my face to the corner, I could still smell the faded scent of canine and pine. Howens hadn''t lied, Cerberus had been here.

    I heard the door open and shut, but didn''t bother looking up. I was too busy being overwhelmed with a longing for my albino guardian to care who came to gawk at me. That was, until they spoke.

    "Finally."

    My body screamed in protest as I flipped it over, staring in the direction of the familiar feminine voice. Shirah grinned as she trotted to my cell. From one of her many pockets she produced a series of thin metal tools which she inserted in the lock.

    "It would''ve been so much easier if I could''ve asked someone," she muttered as she worked. "I spent two days looking for you."

    I blinked. It was difficult to tell, being there were no windows to see night and day, but I did know Balazza brought me two raw steaks as meals, both of which rotted where she dropped them. "You''d have to have come when I did," I said. "How¡¯d you know I needed you?"

    She paused in her work to send me a sheepish smile. "This is going to sound stupid, but I knew you''d trade yourself because it''s what I''d do."

    I snorted. The terrorist and assassin thinking alike, imagine that. "How did you get in here with all the guards?"

    This time, Shirah dropped one of her tools. She fell to one knee, fumbling with it on the floor. "Look, I know how bad this is going to sound." She paused, then shook her head. "No, not sound, how bad it is. I''m not going to make excuses or ask for forgiveness. I can''t even ask you to hear me out. "

    It was hard to ignore the sudden chill sinking to my core. "Do I have a choice?"

    "Suppose not." The woman gave a half-hearted laugh, finally retrieving her tool. She avoided my gaze as she pushed it back in the lock. "When we met, Howens had already hired me to spy on the border towns. Once I learned you were the Lady of the Lycan Mountains, I thought I''d earn my weight in gold."

    No. My mind instantly rebelled against the idea. Shirah couldn''t be working for Howens. She stood up for me. I defended her. I trusted her.

    "Why didn''t you disappear then?" I tried to hide the hurt from my voice. I failed.

    "I knew you''d track me down..." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "So I tipped off some villagers there were lycans in the area. I thought they''d send for Howens, not..." There was no mistaking the silent plea swimming in her black irises. They cried out for understanding, if not forgiveness. Her voice echoed that plea. "I was trying to get you to trust me. But after we ran into Balazza, when you challenged Cerberus, when you believed in me when he knew I was lying... I..I couldn''t..." She dropped her head, staring at the floor as tears fell from her cheekbones. "I''ve always been disposable. So I couldn''t..." Her eyes met mine. ¡°I''ve never mattered..."

    How could I believe anything she said? Yet, how could I not? She just admitted everything, when she could have easily invented a much less incriminating excuse. Then again, was that proof of her honesty?

    Could I blame her for working for Howens before she met me, when the consequences of refusal were likely severe? Yet, knowing she once worked for my enemies and had been prepared to betray me, could I afford to trust her?

    "Desire, you have every right to be furious. I swear on anything sacred in this damned world you can sentence me any fate you see fit, but please, just for now, let me get you out of here. That''s all I ask."

    I considered my current options. "I can''t exactly refuse."

    Shirah pursed her lips, giving a slight shake of her head. The lock clicked. The door swung open, allowing me to step from the confines of my cell. I held out my bound hands. Shirah pulled out a small knife and sliced through the rope, careful not to cut my gloves. That taken care of, I pulled a glove off. My bare fingers hovered just above the woman''s forehead.

    "I should touch you, to ensure you''re not going to betray me later."

    The woman swallowed, staring at my outstretched hand, then nodded. She closed her eyes as she braced herself to receive my poison.

    I breathed out a sigh, dropping my hand. "But, I don''t think I need to."

    Shirah blinked, staring at the floor a moment before she dared look up. I sent her a small smile. She mirrored the expression. "Thank you." Her voice reflected the relief I felt. "Now, about those lessons you wanted?"

    I stretched, flinching at the strain on my ribs. "No better time than the present."

    "Wait here," she instructed as she strode to the door. "I need to dispose of the guards."

    "How many?"

    "Two."

    I trotted behind her. "Just distract them. I''ll take care of it."

    The woman shot me a questioning look, but nevertheless gave a quick nod. She opened the door only slightly, slipping through. A moment later I heard her muffled voice.

    "Quite the character you got there. You ever talk to her?"

    "We''re forbidden from entering," came a man''s voice.

    "That''s too bad."

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    I slipped off my other glove. My hand rested on the metal handle. Gathering my courage, I flung open the door, stepping through and throwing my hands out to grab the faces turned in my direction.

    One was slight, barely older than a boy, and fainted within seconds. I spun to face the older man, placing both hands on his cheeks.

    "You''ve been missing all the fun."

    I leaned in, ready to deal a dizzying kiss. My lips stopped a hare''s breath from his. I could have growled at the thoughts of Cyrus which invaded my mind.

    It hardly mattered though, I could already see the dullness of unconsciousness growing in his eyes.

    "Goodnight," I purred, then let him fall to the floor. My footsteps gave an unbearably loud echo as I started toward the door I had come down through. A hand grabbed my arm.

    "Can''t use the main entrance," Shirah muttered, peering through the small plastic window, "too heavily guarded. This way."

    She led me down the corridor opposite, back to a rusted metal door that appeared to have infrequent use at best. The hinges screeched in protest as we worked together to pull it open. Its heavy weight scraped across the floor. I internally cringed at the echoing sound. We could only hope it wouldn''t draw attention.

    The door was considerably easier to close, shutting us into darkness. Shirah lit a candle she produced from one of her many pockets. I examined the rock walls of the tunnel we had entered.

    "This isn''t a subway," I murmured, running a hand along the rough surface. "What is it?"

    "Don''t know." Shirah had already started down the tunnel. I hurriedly followed after her, noting the absence of rails. "All I know is this way leads to Obria Palace. The other supposedly goes under the mountains."

    I glanced over my shoulder, as if I could see the fires of Preene''s underground from here. "Why not take that way out then?"

    "Most of it¡¯s sealed. The next opening is miles away. Besides, Howens has architects fixing the flooded sections. We''d definitely be caught." She looked back to me. "I know it seems unlikely, but through the city is our best option."

    It did seem unlikely, and also painfully reminded me of my inability to judge character. However, I was quickly distracted by the mass of metal that took up most of the space in front of us.

    "What''s that?"

    Shirah turned, her candle illuminating a greater portion of the massive structure. Large plates of painted metal rose to the ceiling. Where sections had broken off I could see a network of pipes and wires.

    An old world machine.

    A sense of awe settled over me as we squeezed through the little space the towering technology afforded for passage. The other side was considerably smaller, we needed to bow our heads as we inched by the rusted blades of a monstrous drill attached to the front of the machine.

    "They were building a new tunnel," I whispered, the realization dawning on me. "This part must have been dug later on..."

    "Now it''s used by Howens spies," Shirah said. She placed the candle in her mouth to better grip the metal bars in front of her. I followed as she pushed up a round opening above us and crawled through, then turned back to offer her hand. I took it. She heaved me up, looking around as she did. "How the world has fallen..."

    The room we entered had both the floor and walls tiled in a golden marble, now dull from neglect. Edging and matching pillars framing a steel cage still bore some of their once shining polish. However, it was the animal within the cage which caught my attention.

    Balazza''s bear sat hunched in what I assumed would have been a vault. The metal walls were clearly too small for the massive animal; it barely had room to turn around. I stepped closer. The bear turned its disproportionate head to face me. Sitting as it was, I could clearly see all of the bear''s stomach.

    "The Gici Awas is female?"

    Shirah glanced to me, then went back to surveying the room. "Suppose so. I never looked that closely."

    She looked so sad. Something about those big, shining eyes. Somehow, staring in that sorrowful expression was like staring in a mirror. It drew me in. At first she leaned back, cowering at my approach and baring her teeth. I reached out, gloved fingers tracing the vault''s bars.

    The Gici Awas charged. I stumbled as she collided with the steel, falling backwards to the floor. Her roar rattled my bones.

    Shirah swore under her breath, grabbing me by the arm and hauling me to my feet. "No wonder you were caught," she hissed. "That got the whole city''s attention." She glanced back at me. "Congratulations."

    I let out a huff as she dragged me to a door beside the Gici Awas''s cage. She flung it open, kicking the soldier on the other side. A crash sounded behind us, along with a dozen voices shouting over one another. The bear''s angered roars echoed in the stone room.

    "What do we do now?" I asked as we jumped down the short set of stairs into a dark tunnel where it was revealed the vault opened to the cart''s cage. A team of drafts skittered in their stalls at our sudden appearance. Shirah started up the steep slope of the tunnel towards a light. I struggled to keep up.

    "Keep to the plan, just faster."

    "What''s the plan?" I panted.

    The woman jumped on a gate, climbing over the iron bars to squeeze through the narrow space on top. I followed her with much difficulty. After a brief struggle, she managed to help me through, then dropped down beside me. "No time. Explain later."

    I sucked in a deep breath, and we ran.

    Several guards appeared from around the corner. Shirah immediately tagged one with a throwing star. The other two faced a barrage of well-aimed kicks and stings from her miniature daggers. Within a matter of seconds, all three were on the ground.

    She turned to me, drawing a full sized blade from her hip. The weapon was offered hilt first. "I''d appreciate the help."

    I took the offered dagger, immediately slicing across my palm. "Poison," I said in reply to her stare.

    Shirah smiled. She held up her throwing stars, coated in a blue paste. "The compliment to every blade."

    My eyes scanned the surrounding area. I had only visited the city twice previously, but I was fairly certain I hadn''t been in this area before. I glanced back to the building we came from.

    "I thought that was the palace."

    She shrugged, looking around. "It''s connected underground." Her gaze fixed on a narrow alley. "This way."

    We jogged down the path, emerging between abandoned shops. From there we wove through Obira''s streets, running as fast as I could manage and avoiding any voices we heard.

    Eventually, the outer wall came in clear view. This place I recognized as the main street, a path directly from the main gate to Obria Palace. There was a shout, then a trumpet. Immediately, we were surrounded by guards.

    We charged their ranks before they had time to close on us, focusing on those between us and the gate. My bloody dagger bit at my opponents. The poison''s shock sent them reeling. Beside me, Shirah had a similar effect with her tainted weapons.

    A spearhead caught my arm. I wouldn''t be captured again. My bleeding palm made contact with bare skin. Shirah grabbed my sleeve, pulling me through the temporary opening created.

    I ran faster than I believed I could. My lungs burned and my ribs were on fire, but with the troop of soldiers on our heels, I had no intention of stopping.

    "The gates are closed," I managed to wheeze through my aching chest.

    "We''re not going there." She yanked me to the left so suddenly I nearly tripped. We were now almost to the wall. The street sloped steeply downward toward a rusted drainage grate. Snowmelt flowed over a layer of ice out of the city. "Trust me, and hope this works."

    She threw us into the ditch, sliding down. Her heels hit the grate first. The metal gave way, allowing us to slip over it and under the wall. We dropped into a freezing stream.

    Shirah was on her feet in an instant. However, the exertion and sudden impact made it hard to breath. I rolled to the side, gasping for air.

    "Can you run?" was her brisk inquiry.

    I couldn''t speak. I shook my head. My ribs already screamed in agony.

    The woman reached down, hooking her shoulder under my arm and taking most of my weight as she lifted me up. "Well, you''re going to have to."

    She supported me as we ran, away from the city and up into the forest.

 Chapter 55: Jared

    It didn''t take long for us to start shivering. We clung to each other, both for support and what little warmth the other could provide. I was more than grateful when Shirah paused for a breather.

    "Desire look, a lycan."

    I forced myself to look up. A light gray wolf peered over the hilltop ahead of us. She stood up, staring at us before turning and bolting down the opposite side.

    "Did that look like Soulflight to you?"

    I nodded, "Yeah, definitely Soulflight." An exhausted smile slipped on my features, "We made it."

    Shirah let out a short laugh that was interrupted by a howl. Within moments others appeared on the hilltop. The woman waved a hand in greeting. An instant later I was yanked away, tackled into the snow by a massive white form.

    "Submit!" the albino lycan barked.

    A sharp ache spread through my back and chest. I groaned in pain, but couldn''t stop myself from grinning.

    "I submit, Alpha," I panted. My fingers ran through the fur of his neck. Long claws slipped under my back, pulling me up so he could hook his head over my shoulder. Tears rolled down my cheek, slipping off my chin and into his soft pelt. "I missed you," I whispered against his side.

    Cerberus turned to sniff at my injured arm. His eyes narrowed as he fixed me with his crimson glare.

    "It hurts a lot less the damage you caused."

    His ears flicked back. He looked confused. "How?"

    "You fell on me." I let out a pained snort at his quiet whine, "It''s not your fault."

    Sheepskin gloves hooked under my arms, hauling me to my feet. "Sorry Hellhound," Cyrus said as he took me in his arms, "But it''s my turn." He bent down, kissing me through the fabric of his mask. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close.

    "I''m sorry."

    He pulled back looking me over. "You''re all wet."

    "Difficult escape."

    Cyrus pulled his furred coat off. I tried to protest, only to be silenced by his masked lips as he threw the garment over my shoulders, wrapping me in its warmth. He hugged me to his chest. Resting his chin in my head, he looked over to Shirah, "Thank you for bringing her back to us."

    She gave a sheepish smile as she bowed her head, nodding.

    Cyrus sighed, "Claw and I have been trying to find a way in that place all day. How''d you get in?"

    The woman hesitated. I spoke before she could find the words. "The old world dug a subway tunnel into the city. We had to fight our way out."

    Shirah blinked, then hurriedly nodded again. I felt Cyrus shift his grip, but if he doubted our story he made no comment. I hurried to change the subject.

    From the corner of my eye I spotted a mottled gray form. I turned as best I could to face him. "Hello Graniteback."

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    The wild lycan bowed his head, "Welcome back Lady Desire."

    Beside him was a tan captivebred. Upon meeting my eyes he released the toddler he held in his paws. She crashed into my calves.

    "Dessy! I missed you!"

    I laughed, reaching down to touch her blond curls, "I missed you too." I scanned the area, finding two members of our company missing. "Where''s Nightmoon and Jared?"

    The way she looked at me, as though I had slapped her, shook me. Tears sprung up in those innocent eyes, staring at me with a pain I couldn''t understand. When I looked to the others for answers, I found all gazes were fixed on the forest floor.

    "Desire... " Cyrus began, then paused, dragging his eyes up to meet mine, "Jared''s gone."

    I heard Shirah''s strangled gasp behind me. I struggled to speak around the sudden lump in my throat. "Gone? What do you mean, gone?"

    "The first night you left he..." he sighed, "Nightmoon is over by where we buried him."

    My lips trembled. An ache I never wanted to feel again gripped at my heart. "Where?" I choked.

    He silently pointed to a set of tracks. I pulled away, stumbling down the path. Cerberus made to follow. I stopped him with a wave of my hand.

    I crossed up and over the next hill before I found the source of the tracks. Nightmoon lay with her head rested on frost covered leaves, staring at a small patch of disturbed earth covered by a mound of stones. A crudely made cross stood at its head, the remnant of an old world religion.

    Her eyes glanced my way, but she made no indication of moving. I pulled Cyrus''s coat tighter around me and make my way over to sit beside her. There was a full minute before the lycan chose to speak.

    "I am glad you escaped, My Lady."

    I nodded, but couldn''t find any words to say. So we sat in silence once more.

    "He promised to help me raise my cubs," she suddenly said. "He didn''t want me to have trouble with my first litter. We were talking about what to name them... then he just slipped away." Her tail curled around her legs. "I was right next to him, and I couldn''t stop it."

    I didn''t know what to do. My chest held the crushing weight of grief, just as heavy as it had ever been. Surely hers must be just the same. I reached out, resting my hand on the fur between her shoulder blades.

    "I swore to protect you." Her voice cracked. "Then I abandoned you. I swore to protect Jared and now he-" Her quiet whine tore my heart in two. "I failed again."

    "It''s not your fault," I whispered. "I swore to him I''d save him too. We were so close." I ground my teeth together, fighting the cries which threatened to escape my throat. "But now it''s too late."

    "I''m worried for your adopted cub, she had more head pains while you were away."

    I closed my eyes. I didn''t need to hear that, not now, not after this.

    "My father thought Blood Eye vulnerable because of his concern for you. He was right." The black and white female heaved a great sigh. "Blood Eye proved it also made him fiercer. But Thorn never got to learn how this, companionship and loyalty, was worth the weakness."

    I bowed my head. "I wish it wasn''t." And I truly meant it. Life was simpler as the cold Lady of the Lycan Mountains, back when the whole world was my enemy. Everything I had ever done was selfish. I tried taking revenge on Askance. In Preene, I felt sorrow over the lycans¡¯ captivity, but ultimately freed them to rid myself of my own guilt. Now I had friends, people I cared about and fought to protect. Yet, with this, I felt I had already lost. "I wish it wasn''t, because then it wouldn''t hurt so much."

    "A week ago I wouldn''t have cared; he was just another human. Now I''m trying to imagine life without him." Her shaking breath shifted the leaves in front of her face, "But even through all this pain, I can''t bring myself to regret it."

    I brought my knees up to my chest, "I used to think of the decisions and regrets, gains and losses, happy and sad endings. Now it''s just time and what we do with it." I felt hollow and brittle, as though a slight breeze would cause me to crumble away. "Jared knew that, and he knew he didn''t have much time left. So I am honored he chose to spend his last bit of life with us."

    Nightmoon lay her ears flat against her head. Her striking blue eyes Jared first commented on swirled with the remnants of a connection so quickly formed and lost. "I am too. I only wish I could have had more of it."

    I leaned against her. My head rested on her shoulder as we watched sparking flakes fall from the sky, settling on the stones of Jared''s grave. The dusting formed a kind of shroud, more pure and beautiful than anything humans could produce. The boy lay there, not able to feel joy but also no longer able to suffer. For that I was grateful. He deserved peace, even if it were only to be found in nothingness, blanketed in the last of winter''s glory.