《Not so Ella》 Prologue A dress I knew all too well, a dress I¡¯d ordered myself for someone so dear. Now worn by Ella, who smiled so bright you¡¯d think her teeth would fall out. Watching her hurry down the stairs. ¡°I got a dress, I can go now.¡± Ella said in such a happy tone. But my eyes were glued to the dress. It was slightly different from what I remember, ¡°Where did you get that?¡± ¡°Oh¡­ I fixed it, it¡¯s a little old but it belonged to mother-¡± ¡°Shut up! Take that off, it¡¯s not yours!¡± I yelled grabbing at the dress, this was Pamella''s meant only for her. ¡°Wha-¡± I grabbed at the sleeve and yank it off, ripping the fabric in the process, ¡°You¡¯re not Pamella! You¡¯ll never be her! This doesn¡¯t belong to you!¡± Catherine¡¯s hands were on the dress before I even noticed I¡¯d torn a chunk of it off. ¡°You heard mother, take it off Ella!¡± Catherine had ripped the skirt in half. The pink bows on the dress where on the floor. This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. ¡°Wait, please-¡± Ella¡¯s words were like the clanking of bells too close, piercing and annoying. I only saw pink, the pretty pink dress, I¡¯d held so dear now a mess. Anastasia¡¯s hand were eventually on the dress as she and Catherine pulled at what was left of the sleeves. Before I could even take a breath I grabbed Ella¡¯s shoulders, ¡°You don¡¯t deserve any of it.¡± Looking at the pearls that hung on her neck as I grabbed them, ¡°I didn¡¯t gift these to you.¡± Pulling it off her as I could hear a pearl clank against the floor. When I finally took a breath, the tattered remains of the dress on her were unrecognizable, and Ella buried her face in her hands sobbing. All I saw was my old friends dress on the floor, grabbing at bow on the ground, ¡°You ruined it, you made it worthless.¡± I muttered. In between her sobs I could still hear her, ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Shut up! Just Shut up!¡± I didn¡¯t want to hear her voice, ¡°This was special, meant to be kept in a box, you should have never touched it. But you - oh you.¡± I pointed my finger and shoved it in her chest, ¡°You broke it, you touched it with- Her memory is gone.¡± I glared at Ella, ¡°And you killed it again.¡± Ella¡¯s eyes were full of tears as they streamed down her cheeks, ¡°I only-¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± My voice came to a calm, standing back up as I held the bow in my hands. Turning away from Ella and past the door, I could hear the girls walking behind me, my hand clenching the piece of cloth that lost all meaning. Looking at it one last time, ¡°You¡¯re all gone now Pamella¡­ you damn traitor.¡± I don’t like pumpkins ¡°Pamella, please sit down, it¡¯s not ladylike to keep prancing around.¡± Lilian said between gritted teeth as she grabbed her cup and took a sip. ¡°But you said we¡¯d go see him.¡± ¡°And we will. I¡¯m just as excited as you. Marcus has been gone for months, I haven¡¯t heard from him in just as long as you.¡± Pamella¡¯s steps took a pause, her hands fidget while going down to pull at her dress, ¡°Actually I got a letter from him the other day-¡± ¡°What did it say?¡± Lilian¡¯s eyes shot over to her, her knuckles turning white wrapped around the cup that ever so slightly clanked against the table, the liquid inside sloshing around spilling onto it. Pamella¡¯s cheeks flushed, ¡°He said he brought me a gift, and that he was excited to see us.¡± She wrapped her hands around herself, jumping slightly, ¡°I¡¯m just so excited to see him.¡± Eyes watching her skip about in the garden while Lilian sat under the shade. There was a lot you could tell from looking at them. Pamella pranced around grabbing flowers as she twirled around picking off petals one by one. All while Lilian¡¯s finger danced on the brim of the cup, her eyes drifting to the piled up deserts on the table. The evening was interrupted when a maid walked up to them, keeping her head down as she addressed Lilian, ¡°The carriage is ready, the coachman is on standby.¡± Lilian nodded, waving her away, ¡°Pamella, we¡¯re going.¡± Pamella turned on her heel, unable to feel the floor under her before her face did, pulling herself up just as quick, ¡°Well let¡¯s go, he¡¯s probably been waiting a while now.¡± From the seat to the carriage time seemed to fly, Lilian stared at Pamella seeing how her cheeks had been flushed red not just from anticipation but from hitting the floor. ¡°You might need to put some ointment on that.¡± Lilian uttered watching her stare out the window before she stared off into a different direction, words unheard by her. The view turned from a familiar estate to the trees and onto the streets, a place with memories stretching far and wide. The door to the carriage was opened but Pamella was out before the coachman had a chance to help her down. Barely getting a moment to move out the way as she dashed past him. Looking up at his lady, Lilian rolled her eyes as she took the coachman¡¯s hand and got out. Right before her eyes was Marcus, the friend they missed so dearly¡­ wrapped tightly in Pamella¡¯s arms as he hugged her back. His face smothering her neck, arms so gently pressed against her dress. He looked up to see Lilian waving at him, letting go of Pamella as he smiled back at her, ¡°Lilian! It¡¯s been so long!¡± He walked over and hugged her. Her hands trembled slightly, hesitating to move them upwards and keeping them on her sides in the end. It was so quick, just a couple seconds as he let go. ¡°Marcus, you¡¯re as charming as ever.¡± Lilian said, signaling over to the coach who¡¯d been waiting holding a small box. Handing it to his lady as Lilian in turn held it for Marcus, ¡°I¡¯ve brought you a small welcoming gift.¡± Marcus¡¯ smile made his eyes look ever so slightly closed as he took the box, opening it to see a rare pink diamond. His eyes went wide looking from the diamond to Lilian, ¡°I can¡¯t take this-¡± ¡°Sure you can, you already have it in your hands.¡± ¡°It¡¯s too much-¡± ¡°What kind of merchant are you then? This is hardly a good gift for someone I hold so dear.¡± She insisted as he closed the box back up and put it in his pocket, ¡°Well I got you a present too.¡± he said, turning as they entered the theater. The place was bustling and lively, young men held their lady¡¯s hand, the show on for today was quite the romantic one. Walking closely the three entered a room. ¡°You always do reserve the best.¡± Marcus said, holding the door open. If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Best money can buy.¡± Lilian retorted, ¡°¡­ father likes it when I keep up appearances.¡± Pamella followed sitting besides Lilian who sat in the middle, looking at Lilian as she spoke, ¡°I don¡¯t think your father is too happy seeing you mingle with a Barons daughter-¡± ¡°Or a merchant.¡± Marcus cut in sitting on the other side of Lilian, ¡°Does he still even bother?¡± Lilian didn¡¯t look at either of them, her face forward watching the play start, ¡°Father loves me, he has no reason to doubt the people I choose to ¡®mingle¡¯ with.¡± Marcus chuckled, reaching to his left and grabbing two boxes he stood back up, standing in between the two as he handed them both a box. ¡°Well, this is a little something from me, personally selected by yours truly with all the care.¡± Marcus grinned as they both started to open them. Pamella looked to see a strawberry themed necklace and handkerchief, tucked away in the corner as a strawberry cake sat in the middle, she squealed. Picking up the necklace and holding it up to her dress. Lilian opened the box to see a pumpkin themed handkerchief and necklace, a cake sitting in the middle, her face held still not changing. Feeling eyes on her and straightening up to see Pamella staring. Lilian took a deep breath before she turned to Marcus, ¡°I don¡¯t like pumpkins.¡± Before Marcus even had a second Pamella¡¯s brows were furrowed, ¡°Marcus, Lilian is allergic to pumpkins.¡± Stuck between the gaze of the two he stumbled, ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ I forgot.¡± ¡°I noticed.¡±Lilian snapped, closing the box. Pamella smiled awkwardly, ¡°Well you can exchange it with me, I love eating pumpkin.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous Pamella, your favorites have always been strawberries.¡± Lilian said, her hands on the armrest so still trying not to move. ¡°But-¡± ¡°The play is starting, you should sit Marcus.¡± The scenes drifted one by one, and instead of romance all she felt was tension, her shoulders were soar and she could feel Pamella¡¯s eyes on her on occasion, in the middle of the play Pamella had taken the box from her lap and set it to the side. Ordering a couple drinks, stepping out of her spot. As the play came to an end and people started getting up and leaving Lilian¡¯s hands had already dug into the armrest. As soon as she stood up Marcus opened his mouth. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry Li-¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Lilian said, ¡°I¡¯m just glad you¡¯re back. I hadn¡¯t heard from you in so many months, I don¡¯t blame you for forgetting.¡± ¡°Well I do.¡± Pamella snapped, ¡°We¡¯ve been friends for years. If I was Lili I¡¯d consider this attempted murder.¡± Marcus frowned harder, ¡°It¡¯s not like-¡± ¡°You should be ashamed for even smelling like pumpkins Marcus.¡± Pamella continued, ¡°Now Lili and I will be going, you¡¯ll have to see us later at the next dance, and I do expect you to make up for this.¡± Lilian grabbed Pamella, ¡°Alright then I believe we should go Pamella, before you make a bigger fool of ourselves.¡± Moving rather quickly together Pamella only had a couple seconds longer to glare at Marcus before they were gone. Having left both gifts on one of the seats as they got on the carriage. Lilian was quieter than usual and Pamella¡¯s feet kept fidgeting tapping her foot, ¡°Marcus was-¡± ¡°You know I like him.¡± Lilian said, her voice having a shake to it. Lilian¡¯s head fell, staring down at her skirt, ¡°I know.¡± ¡°And you know I really don¡¯t like pumpkins.¡± ¡°I know.¡± Lilian¡¯s lips quivered, the words that had been building up in her all day finally spilling, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me he¡¯d been sending you letters?¡± ¡°I just.¡± Pamella hesitated, feeling a knot on her throat, ¡°I didn¡¯t wanna hurt your feelings.. I never replied to them¡­ I only sent letters when you did.¡± Her voice was getting lower like whispers to an ear, ¡°I don¡¯t know why he bothered.¡± ¡°Because he likes you stupid!¡± Pamella jumped back, pressed back against the seat, her hands tightly held on her lap as her eyes looked ahead at Lilian who glared, ¡°he-¡± ¡°Yes he does.¡± Lilian snapped, ¡°¡­¡± Lilian broke the stare when she looked out the window, ¡°Father¡­ he said I¡¯m getting married next summer¡­ I don¡¯t have a choice in the matter.¡± You could only hear the horses outside, Lilian¡¯s cheeks were flushed red struggling to swallow, her eyes looking from outside to her hands, she stared at the door counting down the seconds. Taking slow deep breaths, her nose becoming stuffy while Pamella tried looking elsewhere. Finding herself staring at Lilian and seeing her eyes welled up discreetly pressing her hand against her face. ¡°¡­¡± no words would come out as Pamella kept opening and closing. When the coachman opened the door Lilian was the first one out, stopping in place once she was down, ¡°Take Pamella home, her father must be wondering where she¡¯s been.¡± The coachman closed the door and headed on his way while a maid walked besides her all the way back. ¡°Did the lady say anything wrong?¡± Lilian shook her head ¡°No, she didn¡¯t do anything.¡± ¡°Did Marcus do something?¡± ¡°No¡­ yes¡­ well Clio, it¡¯s hard to explain.¡± ¡°And do you want to talk about it?¡± Lilian shook her head again, ¡°Where is father?¡± ¡°The Duke is in his study with a guest. Should I inform him of your arrival?¡± Clio asked this while keeping a close eye on Lilian¡¯s expression. Her cheeks were ever so slightly red, all while the sleeves of her dress were wet, ¡°No, I was just curious.¡± Clio pressed her hand on Lilian¡¯s back, ¡°Might I remind you I was there when you were born¡­ if somethings bother you, you can tell me.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Lilian¡¯s steps were slower, her arms moved to either side, holding herself, ¡°Do you think I could run away, get married some place far away¡­ and father would let me be.¡± Clio¡¯s silence was damping, ¡°The man your father has chosen is not all that bad, it-¡± ¡°But I don¡¯t love him.¡± ¡°Well maybe you will, your mother after all-¡± ¡°She¡¯s dead and he replaced her.¡± Lilian¡¯s knuckles turned white her steps stood in place, ¡°She would have protected me¡­¡± Resuming the walk past the doors and to her room Clio opened the door, ¡°Your father loves you¡­ he¡¯ll protect you no matter what. Just like I would.¡± Dance to remember *Pamella* Lili looked so pretty dancing, I saw her smile at Duke Asmus. And when their dance was done others joined in to dance. I felt Marcus tap on my shoulder. He cleared his throat when I looked at him, ¡°Would you¡­ maybe like to dance?¡± I feel stuck in place, ¡°You know, my feet are killing me, why don¡¯t we just sit and wait for Lili?¡± The smile on his face fell slightly, ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s wait for her¡­ do you really think she wants to talk to me?¡± ¡°You hurt her feelings Marcus, and you¡¯re not even that sorry about it.¡± ¡°Of course I¡¯m sorry, I genuinely forgot. But she won¡¯t even reply to my letters.¡± ¡°You only sent her one.¡± ¡°What?¡± his face turned to confusion, ¡°That can¡¯t be, I sent plenty.¡± I purse my lips raising a brow, but the expression on his face is sincere, ¡°You did?¡± ¡°Of course I have, but she just ignores me.¡± I glare at him, ¡°She would never ignore you. And she certainly didn¡¯t lie to me, I saw the letter myself¡­¡± ¡°You saw that?¡± Marcus looked down at the floor, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± ¡°Not the point Marcus.¡± I press my thumb to my lips, ¡°I think¡­ maybe Clio took them.¡± Lili would definitely tell me if Marcus had sent her letters, and from what I¡äm aware there was just that one¡­ and Marcus looks sincere. ¡°So Clio threw them away?¡± ¡°Maybe.¡± I¡¯m not sure, looking back up at where Lili was dancing looking for her but seeing she¡¯s still dancing with the Duke, ¡°We have to tell her, this would fix everything, we¡¯d all go back to spending time like we used to.¡± ¡°That would be nice.¡± Marcus said. ¡°Of course it would, wed go to the theater again, go dress shopping-¡± ¡°I hate going to get clothes with you two-¡± ¡°Lots of dress shopping, we would be the big three at parties again.¡± ¡°Well she¡¯s engaged now, that would probably make us four.¡± I look at Marcus, before going back to our table, ¡°It would be perfect.¡± ¡°Maybe, depending on how much Duke Asmus minds her having a merchant and Baroness as friends.¡± Hearing Marcus was making me worry, ¡°¡­ I¡¯m sure Lili can handle him.¡± ¡°For you.¡± I see Marcus point at me, ¡°She¡¯d force him to like you.¡± ¡°No she wouldn¡¯t-¡± ¡°Oh I know the tea story, so don¡¯t you think that.¡± So maybe he had a point, but both Lili and the duke are of the same status, it might not be that simple. Sitting at the table Marcus sat on the seat beside me. ¡°I trust Lilian would burn the world for you¡­ for me¡­ well, I¡¯m as disposable as diamonds.¡± I scoff, but wind up smiling, ¡°You¡¯re so dramatic Marcus.¡± ¡°Well she hasn¡¯t worn a diamond ever since that last ugly necklace.¡± ¡°Hey, you hurt her feelings that time too. She had picked that necklace herself. I was there.¡± ¡°You¡¯re always there, and it¡¯s still ugly. I¡¯m not sorry about that one, I wouldn¡¯t have paid half of what she did.¡± ¡°Because you can¡¯t afford it. Still, it was a lovely necklace-¡± ¡°It really wasn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Marcus!¡± staring at him he crossed his arms, I started to feel people staring so I lowered my voice, ¡°Lili cares about you very much, now she will probably come over soon enough. And when she does, everything will be solved.¡± ¡°Sure she does, she¡¯s always so serious, it¡¯s like she¡¯s always going through bad news.¡± ¡°Not the time Marcus.¡± I stare at him spotting Lili in hand with the Duke walking over. ¡°I mean it, it¡¯s the face people make when someone dies.¡± ¡°Stop it.¡± ¡°Maybe she¡¯s still not over her mother.¡± ¡°Enough Marcus.¡± I glared at him as I would really hate to sour Lili¡¯s mood. Turning to see Lili not far raising her eyebrow, getting up from my seat and giving her a small wave. Marcus stood up soon after, locking eyes with the Duke, ¡°Duke Asmus.¡± He said, ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure.¡± The Duke spared him a glance before both he and Lili looked at me, ¡°Miss Dusa, is this your partner for the night.¡± ¡°I am.¡± Marcus answered to which I stared at him, catching a glance of Lili staring at me, ¡°I am Marcus Fritz.¡± ¡°Mr Fritz and Miss Dusa, care to join us outside for a chat?¡± The Duke asked, looking over at Lili. Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. ¡°A friendly chat over some cake.¡± Lili said, looking back at me, ¡°I¡¯m sure that you¡¯ll find the lemon cake to suit your taste Marcus, and I already know Pamella liked the strawberry one.¡± ¡°Oh i tri-¡± I pinch Marcus walking past him, ¡°This is so exciting Lili, you looked so pretty dancing.¡± The Duke¡¯s eyes were on me again, ¡°I just hope I¡¯m not a bother this time Miss Dusa.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± I was confused between him and Lili. ¡°Be nice Walter, Pamella is very dear to me.¡± I could see the Duke¡¯s eyes turn to look at Lilian, how they soften up. How he nodded, turning them both and walking. Feeling Marcus nudge me from behind, ¡°Let¡¯s follow the pretty couple.¡± Following them I noticed the way the Duke called the maids, waving them over and giving instructions before they all went along their way. Lilian stood completely still and straight every time they stopped. I could see her close her hands and gently grab at her dress on occasions. Marcus grabbed my hand, ¡°Lilian seems happy.¡± ¡°Well she¡¯s not.¡± I muttered , looking up at him before pulling my hand away, ¡° and why did you even tell them we came as partners?¡± Marcus shrugged, ¡°because we¡¯re matching clothes.¡± ¡°But we¡¯re not partners.¡± I noticed him frowning as we walked, ¡°It¡¯s Lili¡¯s day.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± he straightened up and followed along. Seeing Lili sit down at a table outside I noticed how the Duke took off his coat and put it over her. I truly hope this all turns out well. Sitting across from them I felt kind of small. He¡¯s a Duke, it¡¯s never felt like this with Lili. But when I see Marcus sit besides me and look back at Lili I see something in her eyes. ¡°I¡¯d like for you to stay tonight as a special guest Miss Dusa, I¡¯m asking this as a favor for me, because I hope you can bring comfort to my fiance.¡± The Duke¡¯s words were to the point. ¡°Of course, I¡¯d like nothing more.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to if you don¡¯t want to, Pamella.¡± Lili¡¯s voice was a different tone, her eyes stared at me before she looked over to the maid. When I followed her gaze, it was the maid from earlier. ¡°I don¡¯t mind Lili.¡± Lili stared at me again, she smiled and turned her gaze to Marcus, ¡°I haven¡¯t seen you in a while Marcus, how are you?¡± ¡°All is well. I was hoping we¡¯d get a chance to talk.¡± ¡°Really, about?¡± Duke Asmus leaned towards Lili, quietly watching them much like what I¡¯m doing. ¡°Well it¡¯s about the latest drama at the theater, Pamella and I both think you¡¯ll love this one.¡± Marcus looked at me, grinning wide, ¡°You see the plot is about these two friends, they¡¯ve been sending letters to each other but suddenly nothing, one of them sends dozens but they never seem to make it to their destination. Thinking the friendship is over the other friends turn their back-¡± ¡°That¡¯s right, the friends grow distant but a mutual acquaintance learns of the misunderstanding and is trying to help.¡± I say, looking at Lili feeling my hands grab at the table cloth. The Duke looks at us raising a brow, ¡°Well¡­ haven¡¯t heard that one before.¡± He looks back at Lili, ¡°Would you mind if I join you?¡± Lili kept a straight face looking from me to Marcus, I raised my hand grasping at my hair a second before letting go, ¡°Hm.¡± She turned to the Duke, ¡°Honestly sounds like a ridiculous story. Marcus doesn¡¯t ever pick the fun ones.¡± ¡°That¡¯s untrue, i pick -¡± ¡°The worst ones.¡± I agreed, ¡°nothing worse than the last one you picked.¡± He pursed his lips staring at me, ¡°Fine, but my taste still beats either of you any other time.¡± The Duke laughed, ¡°You all seem so friendly. It¡¯s an odd sight.¡± He leaned down at Lili and whispered something before he got up, ¡°I¡¯ll see you then.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± Lili responded watching him walk away before the smile on her face fell and she glared at us, ¡°Now you two¡­ what¡¯s this ridiculous play really about.¡± ¡°The fact is I¡¯ve sent countless letters and you¡¯ve not answered one.¡± Marcus started. Lili heard him and instantly looked at me, ¡°Really?¡± She waited for me to nod, ¡°And do you think someone made them disappear.¡± ¡°I have reason to suspect Clio-¡± ¡°Watch your words Marcus.¡± She snapped before straightening her posture, ¡°Clio is very close to me, I have little reasons to believe you over her.¡± ¡°Why would I lie?¡± Lili didn¡¯t have an answer, ¡°It might have been a different maid, could have been the butler¡­ father would have intercepted them before Clio ever did.¡± ¡°Well we can always check tomorrow.¡± I suggest, ¡°Marcus can send another one, and we have a chance to see who¡¯s behind it?¡± Lili pressed her hands clasped, ¡°Well of course.¡± She fell quiet watching Marcus, ¡°If it does for some reason turn out to be Clio¡­¡± ¡°She must have a good reason.¡± I suggest, feeling Marcus stare at me and Lili glanced over, ¡°She thinks of you as her own, but it could have been your fathers order.¡± Lili nodded, ¡°It¡¯s very likely.¡± She crossed her arms and leaned back on her seat, ¡°But I¡¯m quite sure it must be someone else.¡± She looked away from us and at the maid, ¡°You, come here.¡± The maid hesitated before she stood before Lili, ¡°Yes my Lady?¡± ¡°Go get me a pen and paper.¡± The maid bowed and headed out probably wanting to avoid Lili all together. Lili turned to look back at us, ¡°Anything you want to say to me Marcus?¡± He nodded, ¡°I was stupid, and I was blinded with other thoughts. Truth be told¡­ both your presents were a last minute idea. I should have been a better friend, and picked something better-¡± ¡°That¡¯s where you¡¯re still an inconsiderate and foolish man,¡± she pointed at him, ¡°I¡¯d be flattered to receive a doodle you could have made with charcoal.¡± Lili snapped, ¡°but what you did-¡± ¡°I forgot you¡¯re allergic.¡± Marcus raised his shoulders, ¡°I forgot and I¡¯m sorry, we¡¯ve eaten pumpkin around you so many times how am I expected to really remember-¡± I hit Marcus¡¯ shoulder, standing up from my seat, ¡°You¡¯re a bad friend is what you are Marcus!¡± I turned and walked back inside, feeling my nails digging into my skin. I feel my feet move, but honestly I don¡¯t know where I¡¯m headed. Angry, staring at nothing as I feel my blood boil. Amidst the music and noise, I can hear my heart beating, the rush, feeling it beat on my chest. Sitting back at the table I was before, I grab a cake and start eating. Digging my fork and hearing it clank on the plate. ¡°Anything I can get you Miss?¡± A maid asked, holding a tray of drinks. ¡°Something hot, I¡¯m cold.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be right back then.¡± I push the plate back in line with the rest of the many dishes already on the table. Seeing the personnel come over and take the dishes. It felt like time was going at a snail¡¯s pace. ¡°I was hoping to catch you alone.¡± I hear the voice of the Duke behind me. Seeing Duke Asmus sit on the chair beside me, his arms crossed. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I heard from word of mouth that you and Lady Sable have been long time friends, is that correct?¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve known her since we were children, our mothers were friends.¡± ¡°Oh, you must mean her mother, not stepmother then?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I assure him again, ¡°Naturally we became close, I know everything there is to know about her.¡± He nodded while still holding his arms crossed, ¡°Then, I hope you won¡¯t mind when I come to you with questions. I¡¯m very in love with Lady Sable, so¡­ what¡¯s her relationship with the Fritz man?¡± His words sounded so cold when he mentioned Marcus, noticing how his gaze hardened, ¡°we¡¯re all old friends¡­ we met Marcus over a decade ago, back then he was working in a shop with his father.¡± ¡°Who was he friends with first?¡± ¡°Oh.¡± I¡¯m left thinking, ¡°I honestly can¡¯t recall.¡± The duke stares, ¡°I can wait while you try and remember.¡± His gaze on e is focused while I am utterly stuck, ¡°I¡¯m really not sure.¡± ¡°Please.¡± He says, ¡°Think about it a little, did he approach Lady Sable first?¡± ¡°Oh that. Well he worked at the shop, so naturally he did approach her knowing who she was. But becoming friends was without interest attached.¡± ¡°Then did he try and become friends with you first is what you¡¯re saying.¡± ¡°Well.¡± I think hard back on the past, ¡°I think Lili played a joke on him-¡° ¡°What type of joke¡± Now I really want to just tell him she was being mean for no good reason. ¡°Oh she just¡­ she sent him on a goose chase.¡± I honestly rather not mention her blowing up at him, ¡°and I don¡¯t know, things just turned out different and we started seeing each other often, that opened doors for his father and now we¡¯re all together.¡± He backed off, smiling again, ¡°I¡¯m sorry this must feel awkward, I just¡­ have a feeling.¡± He stood up fixing his clothes, ¡°please, enjoy the rest of the party and keep Sable company.¡± I nod, seeing him turn and head back out, seemingly in the direction Lili and Marcus are at. Stifling silence *Lilian* Marcus¡¯ words went too far and his cheek was swollen red, his eyes staring right at me, ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to speak to Clio, but you should keep your distance a while Marcus.¡± He nodded, ¡°like what I¡¯ve already been doing-¡± ¡°leave Marcus.¡± Rubbing his red cheek, ¡°And I¡¯ll send the letter tomorrow, be sure to keep your end.¡± He took the paper from the table, not sparing another glance as he walked out and Walter came in. The men exchanged glances, Walter surely saw how Marcus held his cheek just now. Walter walked back towards me, ¡°So¡­ Can I ask what happened?¡± ¡°Just a petty disagreement.¡± ¡°His cheek is red, did he say anything? Maybe I should know what not to say?¡± The smile on Walters face honestly made me chuckle at the time, ¡°No, well¡­¡± I looked off, feeling the cold breeze, ¡°Get to know me, and figure it out.¡± He crossed his arms, ¡°Sounds rather dangerous.¡± walking behind me before taking my hand, ¡°I¡¯m up for the challenge, nothing like walking into a mysterious den.¡± ¡°Well just be sure to be nice, and you¡¯ll be fine.¡± ¡°One more question tho. Does this have anything to do with that very boring, and very much fabricated Drama he mentioned?¡± I felt even colder. Walter looked down at me, ¡°I don¡¯t mind leaving the room for you to talk with friends, but you could be a little more honest about it.¡± ¡°It was just something meaningless.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t feel that way when you speak in riddles till I leave.¡± He stopped at the doors not going in, ¡°We¡¯re getting married, I need to know you trust me.¡± ¡°I trust y-¡± ¡°Let me correct myself.¡± He stood in front of me leaning down, ¡°I need to know you mean it.¡± I didn¡¯t know how to meet his eyes, looking past him, ¡°I barely know you.¡± I saw a smile on his face for a second, ¡°That¡¯s honest, I prefer that. And I promise you, like I promised your father.¡± his figure stood back straight, ¡°I am going to stand besides you, and support you every step of the way.¡± I could feel a knot on my throat, my fathers face crossing my mind before I focused back on him, ¡°I-¡± His hand was warm holding onto mine, walking back into the bustling crowd of people, my eyes landing on faces I¡¯ve known for my whole life and faces I¡¯d never seen before all the same. . He didn¡¯t even speak to me. Barely glanced at me at all, he talked with Walter just fine however. And Walter would look at me, would smile and go back to talking with my father. What hey said there was a blur, i wasn¡¯t paying much attention. On another hand Marcus, disappeared. After our last talk I saw him once or twice and he was out. Always around Pamella, like he¡¯s using her as a shield against me. Pamella would shift wherever she was standing, she¡¯d glance over to me, and the smile she¡¯d pushed out twitching as she tried to keep it up. Leaving me when Marcus walked over before she came back. The other ladies were loud, all the talks where about who was wearing what dress, who was wearing what jewelry and how tasty things were. The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. The same couple of words repeating over and over again like stagnant water. Like any other party I¡¯d been to it was bustling and loud even after I left. Settling in for the night in a place I¡¯d never been in before. It felt so long till my heels were finally off and tossed aside in the room. Yes, in this very much very quiet room I¡¯d never seen before never been in, sitting on the bed my eyes landed at the door. It reminded me of home, maybe it was the intricate details, or maybe I¡¯m just feeling homesick. I haven¡¯t even been gone a full day, but it feels as if I¡¯ve been tossed out. The sound of nothing at all a clear contrast to the loud conversations from before, with the clattering of shoes. My hand grabbed at one of the pillows, hugging it close as I stared off at nothing, thinking about Clio. Just how much of it could be true, taking the letters, or following orders from father. Hiding Marcus from me, knowing just what I think of him. I¡¯ve trusted her like i did my own mother, so i cant help but doubt. Because I feel much easier to call Marcus a liar than to call Clio a traitor. In the mess of these feelings at least the silence is such a pleasant feeling, helps me think without there being eyes staring at me waiting for a specific reply. Interrupted only by the sudden sound of knocking. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°It¡¯s me¡­ Pamella.¡± ¡°Well, come on in then,¡± the door slowly pushed open as her head popped out from the corner, her hair tied up in a bun. ¡°Isn¡¯t it fun, they gave me a room close to yours.¡± She giggled, excitedly closing the door as she turned back to face me. Reminding me of the nights we used to hide under our beds and sneak in treats. ¡°It¡¯s rather kind.¡± I¡¯m reminded of Walter. ¡°Well yes.¡± She sat on the bed beside me, ¡°I saw your dad with the Duke.¡± ¡°I did too.¡± ¡°I heard them mention the wedding.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s supposed to take place in the summer. And it¡¯s supposed to have a lot of yellow in it.¡± ¡°Well you look good in yellow.¡± Pamella fell back on the bed, tucking her arms behind her head, ¡°And you still have time, you can do anything Lili.¡± Our chat was calm, speaking our mind I wound up pacing the room back and forth. The pillow being feathers all around now, holding what was left of it in one hand while throwing feathers at Pamella laying on the floor. I remember looking down at her dropping feathers on her when she said this, ¡° I think he rather suits you.¡± her words sounded so sincere. But I¡¯m aware as she was, that I didn¡¯t want to hear that. ¡°Well enough about me Pamella.¡± I tossed the pillow aside the feathers inside scattering across the floor, ¡°what about your own little romantic endeavors.¡± She shrugged, ¡°You know there¡¯s nothing.¡± ¡°Well what¡¯s your father said?¡± Pamella looked away, avoiding my eyes, ¡°Nothing.¡± ¡°Really?¡± She nodded, fidgeting with her fingers, ¡°I¡¯m not ready anyways.¡± She shrugged, dusting herself off from all the feathers, ¡°So I¡¯m fine with having some more time to meet people.¡± She stood up and grabbing at my arm, ¡°Plus who would keep you company?¡± ¡°Well the prince is always a fantastic option, I¡¯m sure you¡¯d catch his eye if you ever went to a royal ball.¡± Pamella laughed, ¡°Oh come on, I¡¯m not cut out for those. Besides, even if I went, I¡¯d just waddle behind you.¡± She huffed, ¡°He might not even like me and wants you to break up your engagement, citing love at fight sight.¡± Rolling my eyes I laid back on the bed, ¡°Now you¡¯re just being preposterous.¡± Her shoulders raised before they fell again, ¡°Could happen.¡± ¡°Highly unlikely.¡± ¡°Well it could.¡± ¡°It wont.¡± ¡°Well I¡¯d bet any daughter of yours could win over a prince, with your fabulous looks, they¡¯d be enchanted-¡± ¡°I¡¯d never allow them, we¡¯re more than enough as Duchess, no one can take that from them, besides royalty is too messy.¡± I grabbed another pillow hugging it tight as I fell on the bed, ¡°They don¡¯t need that.¡± ¡°But all that power, if they are anything like you, they¡¯ll take it.¡± ¡°If they are anything like me, I¡¯ll let them marry who they love.¡± The room fell quiet, I could hear Pamella moving on the bed to the very corner. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I rolled on my side, seeing her face, ¡°I¡¯m tired.¡± ¡°Me too.¡± She said, ¡°It¡¯s been a long day. You looked very pretty today, I¡¯m sure everyone noticed.¡± ¡°Pam.¡± Seeing her eyes widen, the hesitation on her face, ¡°Y-yes?¡± ¡°Do you think Clio took my letters?¡± The quiet was answer enough, her eyes refused to look at me, ¡°I need you to tell me.¡± ¡°¡­ Maybe.¡± he voice was barely a whisper, her head hung low, ¡°She just wants to protect you.¡± ¡°Good night Pamella.¡± I hear her stand up and head to the door, ¡°Good night Lili.¡± The door shutting and the quiet felt so different this time around, the silence was not calming after the noise, instead, it built up inside me. All this talk about a prince and a future no one can know was suffocating when I thought about it. No different from any other chat we¡¯ve ever had, and i much rather blame a long day, than an old friend. My eyes tightly shut in a room I don¡¯t recognize, my chest feels heavy in a cold bed. It really has been a long day, and I just want it to end. Yes sir *s* Lilian was quite pretty in her wedding gown, but she looked so preoccupied. The maids went back and forth, who¡¯d think she¡¯s changed so much after Clio was thrown out. I felt guilty, after everything I said, I know how much Clio meant to her. I just didn¡¯t think it would affect her this much. And Pam, well she sure let me have it. ¡°Lili looks stunning.¡± Pam said, her eyes glittering almost. ¡°She¡¯s very pretty today.¡± ¡°I wish I could capture this moment.¡± Pam held her hands to her chest, ¡°Look back on it one day, maybe she¡¯ll laugh about it.¡± Crossing my arms I leaned back on the wall, ¡°That could be, I hope she¡¯ll be happy.¡± ¡°I do too.¡± I hesitate, grabbing Pam¡¯s hand, ¡°Maybe¡­ would you like to go for a walk some time?¡± ¡°What-¡± She turned to look at me before I felt someone¡¯s stare. ¡°Pamella, can you pick which looks best for me?¡± I head Lilian¡¯s, voice, her tone was sharp. Letting go when I look back to see Lilian staring past me at Pamella. ¡°I swear she wants to hoard you and keep you locked up.¡± I muttered, this happened every time. Pam pinched my shoulder, ¡°Now that¡¯s not true, so if you excuse me.¡± But it was very true, some days Lilian just had her at her beg and call. Sure they are long time friends. But I never expected Lilian would just tag along every time I tried talking to Pam. She was always there, it didn¡¯t matter where or when Lilian would always know, always show up. If I sent a letter to Pam and not Lilian she wouldn¡¯t even answer, there¡¯s just always something about Lilian. Lilian this, Lilian that, it¡¯s always Lilian. Seeing Pam pick out a couple of things, smiling ear to ear as she showed Lilian, before walking back over. Her black hair would sway was like midnight and her blue eyes just felt like they were staring at my soul. ¡°Why are you staring?¡± She asked, pressing a hand to her hair, ¡°Is there something wrong?¡± ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± I can¡¯t help smiling, ¡°You look amazing today.¡± ¡°Well Lili outshines us all.¡± ¡°Well some might disagree.¡± Pam¡¯s smile was fading, putting her hands down, ¡°You know Lili¡¯s been distracted. I¡¯ve caught her looking behind herself expecting someone to be there.¡± ¡°This is about Clio again then-¡± ¡°Lili must feel so alone.¡± Pam¡¯s eyes watched as Lilian was walked out the room, turning back to me, ¡°If only you hadn¡¯t screwed up Clio wouldn¡¯t have intercepted the letters.¡± Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. ¡°Oh so you¡¯re blaming me again?¡± We already had this talk, ¡°You¡¯re the first person who accused it might have been her.¡± I said, ¡°I never told Lilian it was your thoughts Pamella I just took the fall.¡± Pam instantly went quiet, looking to the side her brows furrowed, I could see her grip hard on her dress, ¡°I wish I hadn¡¯t.¡± ¡°It¡¯s best Lilian keeps trustworthy people around her.¡± ¡°Clio loves her-¡± ¡°But she betrayed the trust Lilian had in her¡­ We can¡¯t change that, we can just not betray her ourselves. She¡¯s our friend.¡± Pam nodded slowly, ¡°We have to keep her happy, at least for today, it¡¯s her day.¡± Pam was so preoccupied with having Lilian being happy, trailing out of the room after her while I could only stand aside and watch her run off. As much as I enjoy going after her every way she goes, I feel bad for Lilian, she¡¯s not happy today, she hasn¡¯t been happy for a while. Finding myself walking aimlessly through the halls and out the door, I¡¯d rather not get in their way, hearing a click of the tongue only to see Duke Sable standing rigid along the path. ¡°Well, Mr. Fritz, I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d be around here, Lady Dusa isn¡¯t around here as you can see.¡± His words were sharp, ¡°I wasn¡¯t looking for her, sorry for intruding.¡± Duke Sable¡¯s face was always a scowl. I¡¯ve never once seen this man smile, and the last time I saw him at all¡­ I just recall Lilian crying and Pamela holding her. ¡°Well then, since you appear to have some time, walk with me.¡± ¡°You know, I believe Pam must be-¡± ¡°Walk, merchant boy.¡± The Duke¡¯s steps lead into the garden, far from the prying eyes behind doors and windows, ¡°May I-¡± ¡°No, You have been like a stray mutt walking after Lilian looking for scraps, she¡¯s fond of your little¡­ meddling.¡± My meddling he says? ¡°What exactly do you mean Duke?¡± ¡°I¡¯m saying you should disappear, call it an investment. I heard of your little voyage, and I¡¯ll be funding your next one. It¡¯s a once in a lifetime opportunity, you could turn out a very rich man by the end of it¡­¡± the Duke turned giving me a look which reminded me of Lilian, ¡°You can either take it, or¡­ there will be some really horrendous claims about you.¡± he shrugged, ¡°So, are you interested?¡± I feel like I¡¯m in a cage, with a muzzle, ¡°I don¡¯t really think I have a choice.¡± ¡°Sure you do.¡± Duke Sable¡¯s hands were tucked in his pockets pulling out a watch in one hand, staring at it before looking back at me, ¡°I¡¯ll give you until¡­ let¡¯s say midnight, when the clock strikes, I¡¯ll have your answer then.¡± He walked on by past me, stopping a ways away. I didn¡¯t dare move an inch, feeling as if I was tied down in place, ¡°You know your father would agree to my terms, we¡¯ve been in business a while now, if you¡¯re anything like him, you¡¯d be a smart man to do business with me.¡± ¡°Yes sir.¡± It wasn¡¯t until I couldn¡¯t see him anymore, until the smell of that pungent perfume had stopped burning my nose I finally moved. If Lilian knew of this she could save me. Yet i stopped dead in the halls, I can¡¯t tell her about this now, shes already busy as is. We¡¯ve been ice cold since the engagement she wont lift a finger. Begrudgingly I started walking again, winding up in front of a carriage seeing as Lilian was escorted in. ¡°Need me to bring something? Anything, maybe some deserts, a book, or-¡± Pam was nerves, fiddling with her dress while Lilian was as composed as always. ¡°There¡¯s plenty of deserts Pamella, the maids already packed my change of clothes and if i want a book I¡¯ll just ask for one. You just need enjoy the party.¡± as she talked the door was closed, reassuring Pam through the window. ¡°This will be great Lilian.¡± I said, ¡°You¡¯re becoming the most influential woman in high society.¡± I could instantly feel Pam glare like blue fire, ¡°She was already-¡± ¡°I won¡¯t forget about you two if that¡¯s what you¡¯re insinuating.¡± her hand reached out and pointed at us, ¡°I expect you to both smile wide enough it looks like I¡¯m the one smiling.¡± she smiled without it reaching her eyes, ¡°Take notes for your own weddings.¡± That said, she was out, the carriage was far from view, and Pam tugged at me, ¡°It¡¯s time we head out too. Don¡¯t want to keep Lili waiting.¡± ¡°Pam I need to tell you something.¡± Maybe it was the tone of my voice but Pam looked worried, and I reconsidered, telling her about the Duke would just mean more trouble for Lilian. ¡°I might be going on another trip, It¡¯s a big opportunity, and well id like you to come with.¡± I was shaking a little by now, ¡°It¡¯s just well, Lilian going to be busy and you¡¯ve talked about wanting to see more, experience more¡­ this is your chance.¡± Marriage *Lilian* I hadn¡¯t held my fathers had in years, so when he walked me down I¡¯m not sure how i felt. A part of me wanted to pull away while another hoped he wouldn¡¯t let go. But it was all over so soon I¡¯m not quite sure what i would have preferred. ¡°Well Duchess Asmus.¡± I heard Marcus say as he handed me a small wrapped up box, ¡°It¡¯s official, and now only the queen is the woman above you.¡± Taking the gift was bitter, ¡°Lucky me.¡± ¡°Well come on now, it¡¯s your wedding after all.¡± he held a cup on his other hand, ¡°You should have some fun, go dance, go chat up some nobles.¡± He seemed surprisingly cheery, ¡°You seem to be having fun.¡± ¡°Yes indeed, but I¡¯ll tell you about it later. Now go have some fun I¡¯m pretty sure Pamella should be back with your cake soon. do some gossip, laugh a little.¡± the grin on his face made him glow. ¡°Speaking of.¡± I could see Pamella hurry over holding cake on both hands. Her hair was a mess, some of the clips had fallen while others were hanging for dear life, ¡°So, I got you Cheri, I also got some strawberry.¡± she said setting them both down. Grabbing the Cheri one I glanced at Marcus who stared straight at Pamella, the grin on his face getting even wider, ¡°Pamella, do you happen to know why Marcus seems so excited today?¡± ¡°Oh yes its-¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tell her!¡± Marcus voice was loud enough to get some stares, ¡°I mean, come on Pam, its Lilian¡¯s day, we can tell her later.¡± Pam pursed her lips before sighing, ¡°Alright, well-¡± ¡°Tell me.¡± I stared straight at Pamella, words sharp, ¡°I don¡¯t like surprises Pamella, and you are quite aware of that.¡± I saw Pamella hesitate, ¡°Well- no, it¡¯s good news, it can wait.¡± She was avoiding looking at me, so reaching over i grabbed her hand, my brows furrowed when she looked at me, ¡°This isn¡¯t a good day anyways Pamella.¡± Seeing Asmus talking with my father since earlier was also making me uneasy. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯ll tell you just a smidgen.¡± Pamella was saying as Marcus shook his head. ¡°No.¡± Marcus said again, ¡°We tell her later.¡± Seeing him so insistent on something was unusual, turning to stare at him, ¡°Does it involve Pamella?¡± His eyes widened for a split second before he spoke, ¡°Stop trying to guess, we¡¯re not telling you.¡± I saw him digging his hand into his pocket taking out a small bog, ¡°Here, it¡¯s a wedding present meant more for you than the duke.¡± Seeing the box my face felt warm for a moment, taking it as i set it down and pulled at the ribbon. A pretty purple color undoing the bow and lifting the lid. A painting sat inside, all three of us, I recall the day. Yes the day I wore a blue and yellow dress, I¡¯d just gifted Pamella a pink one. We¡¯d gone to the theater like many times before and stumbled on Marcus. He¡¯d been wearing a blue just like mine that day. I recall insisting on a painting, but the time running short Marcus had mentioned he¡¯d take care of it and I wound up forgetting about it till now. ¡°I love it.¡± Feeling my face get even hotter, ¡°Thank you Marcus.¡± His lips curved up reaching to scratch the back of his head, ¡°I¡¯m glad you like it, I was nerves back there.¡± ¡°It¡¯s absolutely perfect, you¡¯ve outdone yourself.¡± Saying that I felt another pair of eyes on me. Not staring like the other guests. Looking up and meeting eyes with my father. gesturing for me to go over, ¡°It seems I¡¯m being called.¡± Both Pamella and Marcus followed my gaze, letting out a sigh almost in unison. ¡°I can go with you.¡±Pamella offered, but i could see her hands shaking, ¡°I¡¯ll go alone, stay here Pamella.¡± eyes turned to the side, ¡°Keep my husband company Marcus.¡± the scoff that met my gaze said enough, ¡°Not like he bites.¡± ¡°Sure.¡± Marcus rolled his eyes, ¡°Just be back soon.¡± That was the plan, seeing as my father left to a balcony, the doors shutting behind him as I followed. Feeling the guests eyes on me, hearing their muttering as I guessed what father might be calling for. When I went in and his eyes turned to me, I felt like I was a child again. The gaze in his eyes as I looked up at him reminding me of a time so long ago. ¡°You wanted to speak with me.¡± ¡°Now Lili don¡¯t be so rigid. I was hoping you¡¯d be having a better time today.¡± ¡°Well forgive me father, I was hoping today never came.¡± He sighed deeply, ¡°This is for the best Lili, you can¡¯t expect to be with-¡± ¡°Is he really what this is about? You trying to make me see he and I can¡¯t ever be?¡± I asked, staring him dead in the eyes. ¡°Not entirely.¡± And for once I saw his head fall, ¡°There is no better suitor for you than a duke-¡± I cut him off. ¡°Tell me the truth.¡± ¡°The Duke is a competent man, he knows his way around politics, he¡¯s a part of the council even. He¡¯s a smart man who knows enough about the economy to make sure you live as extravagant as you want, but most importantly he¡¯s got eyes for you.¡± Father stared at me, ¡°Even if you don¡¯t love him at least this way I can make sure you¡¯re not the one getting hurt.¡± The sincerity in his eyes was evident, ¡°But you hurt me with this marriage instead.¡± He sighed again, ¡°Well hate me then, I¡¯m willing to go to much farther lengths to ensure you have a good life Lili, even if you don¡¯t want me in it.¡± Tears *Duke Sable* Lili¡¯s dancing reminded me of her mother. My dear Alyssa used to have that same color hair, such a foreign violet color, always reminding me of the orchids she used to love. Seeing Lilian sit and chatter when that merchant walked over I presumed it would be trouble. ¡°I see you miss her already.¡± Duke Asmus said, his steps stopping besides me. ¡°She is my daughter.¡± Turning to look at him his eyes were fixated on Lili. ¡°And I¡¯ll be sure to make her happy Duke.¡± His words felt heavy on me, knowing how Lili felt about all of this, ¡°She¡¯s got good friends.¡± I nodded, ¡°That she does.¡± I saw Lili look at us, signaling her to come over, ¡°If you don¡¯t mind now, I¡¯d like to have a chat with my daughter.¡± Asmus grinned, taking a step back as he got lost in the crowd. I on the other hand headed to the balcony, waiting until i saw Lili come in. ¡°You wanted to speak with me.¡± her words were sharp, eyes glaring at me. ¡°Now Lili, don¡¯t be so rigid. I was hoping you¡¯d be having a better time today.¡± Although she¡¯d been smiling the way she¡¯d grab at her dress when she thought no one was looking, or how her eyes fell at the mention of the Duke where worrying. ¡°Well forgive me father, I was hoping today never came.¡± Of course she¡¯d say that. ¡°This is for the best Lili, you can¡¯t expect to be with-¡± ¡°Is he really what this is about? You trying to make me see he and I can¡¯t ever be?¡± I¡¯d hoped she had grown past this affection she had for the merchant long ago, but she just seemed to always be drawn to him. ¡°Not entirely.¡±I looked at the floor, pinching the bridge of my nose, ¡°There is no better suitor for you than a duke-¡± If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Tell me the truth.¡± I don¡¯t know what other truth she could be expecting, ¡°The Duke is a competent man.¡± I stared at her, seeing she wanted something else, ¡°he knows his way around politics, he¡¯s a part of the council even. He¡¯s a smart man who knows enough about the economy to make sure you live as extravagant as you want, but most importantly he¡¯s got eyes for you.¡± I sighed, taking a deep breath, ¡°Even if you don¡¯t love him at least this way I can make sure you¡¯re not the one getting hurt.¡± All I want is to make sure she can be happy, that she can be looked after. ¡°But you hurt me with this marriage instead.¡± Hearing that was like seeing the child who ran around the garden calling herself a fairy all over again. I felt a knot on my throat looking at her, the feeling of having all eyes on me like I¡¯ve done something wrong, ¡°Well hate me.¡± Saying that in a whisper made me feel even worse, ¡°I¡¯m willing to go to much farther lengths to ensure you have a good life Lili, even if you don¡¯t want me in it.¡± Seeing her lips pout as she sucked in a breath, her eyes welled up, ¡°You¡¯re doing it again.¡± Her hand clenched up and teeth gritted, ¡°I hope I never turn out like you.¡± Lili pointed at me, ¡°If mother was here she¡¯d agree, she¡¯d be so ashamed of you.¡± ¡°Lili stop.¡± My voice came out hoarse, ¡°If she really were here, she¡¯d still be in that asylum, she wasn¡¯t well. She was sick, she couldn¡¯t make decisions like this.¡± She pushed me, slamming her clenched hand against my chest, ¡°You put her there! You locked her up! It¡¯s all you fault!¡± Her voice was loud enough to be heard inside, her screams wouldn¡¯t stop, ¡°I hate you! You hurt her! It was all you!¡± I could see people starting to move towards the balcony doors, ¡°Your dignity Lili.¡± I snapped, feeling a pull at my coat as i felt her glare at my face, ¡°This has to stop.¡± I grabbed her hands, ¡°You can curse me all you want when your reputation isn¡¯t at stake.¡± I saw the door start to open, grabbing Lili in a hug, speaking loud enough for all those at the door to hear, ¡°You can come visit any time dear, there¡¯s always going to be a place for you.¡± Looking up at the door Asmus was the one walking in, taking a stand by the door holding his head down. I patted Lili¡¯s head, looking down as I smiled, ¡°Go enjoy your night.¡± the tears streaming down her face where a harsh contrast to the glare she had on me. She took a deep breath before she turned over to Asmus. ¡°Excuse me for my outburst, I got sentimental.¡± She said. Asmus looked at her without a doubt in his eyes, ¡°You don¡¯t have to explain.¡± he grabbed her hand in his turning towards me a second, ¡°I¡¯m sorry for interrupting.¡± They left pretty quickly, and I stayed outside. My chest was hurting, reaching into my pocket for my handkerchief, drying out my coat. I made a mistake in calling Lili over, I should have just let her be. Duchess *Pamella* It had been a couple days since I¡¯d heard from Lili, after she walked out of the wedding, storming away from her father society was bustling with fake news. The headline of the paper in my hands was ridiculous, ¡°Trouble brewing among the new Duke and Duchess.¡± They¡¯d been running with all sorts of rumors as i recall yesterdays headline, ¡°Duke Sable disowns the new Duchess.¡± People just didn¡¯t know when to stop. I¡¯d gone to see Lili just the day after but she¡¯d left for the honey, I didn¡¯t know if she¡¯d be back next week or in three months. on the other hand the trip with Marcus was just a few more days away. Every time i mentioned pushing it back till Lili came back he seemed almost scared. ¡°Ella!¡± I heard my name being called, and the doors to my room flung open. My mother stood at the door tears welled up in her eyes, ¡°Mother?¡± ¡°Ella.¡± She sobbed, ¡°I heard from your father, you¡¯re leaving us for months! You¡¯re unwed, what madness is this young lady.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just with a friend Mother, it¡¯s Marcus you know him well-¡± ¡°Well of course, I know him better than you.¡± the tears streaming down her face where one thing but the tone she held was another, her hand pressed against her chest, ¡°He is also unmarried, and what more, what would Lili think?¡± I felt guilty, ¡°Lili-¡± ¡°What would Alyssa say.¡± she held her head avoiding looking at me, ¡°I don¡¯t even want to-¡± ¡°I already told Lili.¡± I said, the words coming out before I knew what I was doing, ¡°She¡¯s fine with it.¡± ¡°Then she lied.¡± My mother looked me in the eyes then, the gaze that made me want to shrink, ¡°Did you really tell?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I lied, pushing out a smile, ¡°Lili wished me well, she asked me to bring her a gift.¡± The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Although I spoke as calm as I could, the gaze she held on me didn¡¯t waver, ¡°Ella, when did you get the chance to talk with Lili?¡± ¡°Day after the wedding, I caught her just before she left. Right on time.¡± I felt like i was a kid caught with my hands in the cookie jar, ¡°Ella, Lili left on the trip the same day of the wedding. It¡¯s why everyone can¡¯t stop talking.¡± I felt her hand on my shoulder, ¡°Now tell me Ella, did you tell Lili you¡¯ll be gone for half a year?¡± I held my head low, ¡°No.¡± Her hand brushed along my hair, ¡°Are you still going to go?¡± Lili would never let me live it down, but shes married now, it should be different, ¡°I want to go see beyond the capital.¡± ¡°And then what?¡± my mother sat on the seat besides me and looked me in the eyes, ¡°You¡¯ll be back and tell Lili you spent half a year alone with Marcus and nothing happened.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll bring her presents, I¡¯ll send pictures and letters-¡± ¡°Do you think she¡¯ll trust you by the end of it?¡± She let go, stopped staring at me, ¡°You¡¯re going knowing Lili had to have this marriage without her choosing, and when she¡¯s back¡­ Let¡¯s say shes moved on from Marcus, that she¡¯s happy. Do you think it¡¯ll be fine.¡± In all reality, no. ¡°I can¡¯t put everything on hold for her.¡± Saying that when I know how much mother treasured the past Duchess, how many times that woman held me in her arms. Feeling her stare on me again made me feel even smaller than before, ¡°It¡¯s not all about Lili, you can¡¯t just up and leave Ella, this families reputation is at stake here. What will people say when the barons daughter is off with a merchant. Word spreads fast, everyone will know its you after a single rumor.¡± Looking at the headline in my hands, I had no doubt about it. But instead of just dragging my name across he floor everyone I¡¯m acquainted with will be dragged with me. ¡°Father said-¡± ¡°Your father won¡¯t ever say no to you even if it ruins you.¡± She pinched the bridge of her nose, the eyes that stared at me where cloudy, ¡°At the end of the day my family¡¯s the one flipping the expenses in this house, and your father will simply manage it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not all about money mother-¡± ¡°Of course it¡¯s about money!¡± She yelled, standing up, ¡°This marriage was about money, my father paid for me to be wed, it was a good investment.¡± The eyes that stared at me softened a moment, ¡°And I, I got the most wonderful child out of it.¡± The eyes that looked at me hardened the next second, ¡°And while merchants like Marcus don¡¯t lack the money they lack class, unless he decides to become some war hero or knight, he is going to stay that way.¡± I hesitated to open my mouth, feeling that intense gaze on me, scrutinizing every second I was quiet, ¡°I-¡± ¡°Why can¡¯t you be more like Lili?¡± Words I dread, and try hard to avoid, the voice of mother just rung in my head, ¡°I¡¯ll be picking some fine Lords for you to meet, you are not going on that trip.¡± Bad Friend *Marcus* I¡¯ve been waiting for Pam all day and she still hasn¡¯t showed up. I delayed the trip by hours, I¡¯m behind schedule and it¡¯ll take a few nights of travel to try and catch up. The Duke was clear on no more delays past today. If she really doesn¡¯t come, I¡¯ll have wasted this opportunity. On another hand I¡¯ve heard little about Lilian, ever since her honeymoon started, the news on the other hand has run with every scandal under the sun. Pam seemed more angry at them than anyone. ¡°Marcus! Marcus!¡± I heard my name being yelled, lifting my head to see Pam running over with a small bag she was carrying. ¡°Why are you¡­ well running?¡± She hunched over when she reached me panting hard, ¡°Because¡­ I¡­ I had¡­¡± She stood up straight having caught her breath, ¡°Because my parent don¡¯t know I left.¡± ¡°What- I thought your father agreed.¡± ¡°He did, he does.¡± She put a hand over her chest her hand was griping the bag hard, ¡°It¡¯s just mother disagreed.¡± I felt guilty, ¡°Maybe it¡¯s best if you stay then.¡± ¡°No!¡± She crossed her arms, ¡°I¡¯m going, it¡¯s my decision, it should affect no one but me.¡± If she really was sure I didn¡¯t really have the time to fight her over it, ¡°The lets go, we¡¯re late.¡± I grabbed her back walking quickly over to the carriage as I held the door open for her, ¡°Six months go by in a flash Pamella, the Baroness will be over it by then.¡± As she stepped onto the stool and was half way in the carriage i heard the softest mumble, ¡°I hope you¡¯re right.¡± As I set the luggage aside and headed in myself, I couldn¡¯t help agree. ¡°Have you heard of Lili?¡± ¡°No.¡± Honestly it felt surreal that even Pam didn¡¯t know a thing. She held her hands together, with one she gripped her skirt, pinching the fabric between her fingers, ¡°I wrote her a letter, I told her I was going on a trip, and I¡¯d bring her presents, I hope she doesn¡¯t get angry.¡± ¡°She¡¯ll be happy for you, she knows how much you¡¯ve wanted to go out and travel.¡± I said, seeing as the words flew right past her. ¡°I didn¡¯t say I was going with you.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± I can¡¯t help think she¡¯s ashamed of me. ¡°I¡¯ll tell her once we reach the first place. I¡¯ll send her something nice.¡± Pam took a deep breath, finally looking up and meeting my gaze, ¡°So are you going to tell me why Duke Sable payed for this endeavor?¡± This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. I crossed my arms, having her attention directed at me after what she just said, ¡°He said he¡¯s giving me the same opportunity as my father.¡± ¡°Really? I had the feeling he never liked you tho.¡± ¡°Oh he doesn¡¯t.¡± I looked out the window, the changing of scenery, ¡°But I¡¯m not going to question such a rare opportunity.¡± ¡°Maybe you¡¯re onto something.¡± She said, seeing her from the corner of my eye, how she looked out the other side, ¡°I hope this trip is for the best.¡± ¡°I do too.¡± Yet, all we said that day seemed to fly right past us. I saw the letter she wrote Lili when we got to the first town. She did not tell her she was traveling with me. She didn¡¯t tell her in the next town either, or the next one. But I wasn¡¯t particularly bothered by that, I was far too preoccupied with trying to run a business, and winning her over. Holding a box of sweets from this towns bakery I knocked on her door. ¡°Just a second.¡± I heard her say while the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor and a vase breaking reached me before she did. When she opened the door I could see her messy head of hair greet me, ¡°Marcus, you¡¯re back already, how did the meeting go?¡± I handed her the box, ¡°It went smoothly, I¡¯ll get the answer by tomorrow surely.¡± Her smile was the highlight of my day, ¡°Well come on in, tell me all about it.¡± ¡°Well the nobles ain¡¯t as snobby as those in the capital,¡± I said, grabbing a chair as I glanced on the letter she had on the table for a second, ¡°They are quite friendly. There was also this girl I saw today. She had this violet hair, it was just like Lilian¡¯s-¡± At my words the smile on Pam¡¯s face faded. ¡°Did you talk to her?¡± ¡°Oh no, I just saw her in passing, might not have even been her real hair color, just some magic, you know how rare that color is.¡± ¡°I meant Lili.¡± Pam¡¯s face was downcast. ¡°¡­¡± I opened my mouth but couldn¡¯t find the words, ¡°I¡­ I haven¡¯t gotten a chance to actually. So busy with all the paperwork and having you around it slipped my mind.¡± I scratched my head, ¡°Have you?¡± Pam lifted her gaze to the table, ¡°Yeah, was actually writing a letter before you got here. I got a reply, it reached me this morning.¡± she got up picking a still closed envelope from the table, ¡°I haven¡¯t gotten the chance to read it.¡± I saw her fidget with it, ¡°Well I¡¯ll leave you to it then.¡± Getting up I headed to the door, feeling a tug at my sleeve, ¡°Actually, I¡¯d like some company to read with.¡± When I saw her face I knew I couldn¡¯t just ditch her, so I silently sat back down. Saw her sit on the bed and open the envelop carefully, pulling out the letter as I saw her eyes skip through the lines. She cleared her throat glancing at me a second before looking back at the letter, ¡°Dear Pam, I¡¯m glad to hear you¡¯re having that trip you¡¯ve wanted for so long. I also got the gloves you sent as well, they are such a lovely color of blue. I truly appreciate this gift, and I hope mine brings you well. I¡¯m excited to hear about your next adventures, and I hope to see you soon. Your sincere friend, Lili.¡± I noticed Pam¡¯s eyes lingering on the words, her eyes starting to well up with tears, ¡°Sounds like-¡± I didn¡¯t get to say a single word as Pam burst into tears, ¡°I¡¯m horrible, I¡¯m just horrible, I should just head home and never leave my room again. Lili¡¯s going to hate me, my mom¡¯s going to be so disappointed, I should have never come here.¡± The words spilled out like the tears down her cheeks, holding the letter close as she hugged it against her chest, " I¡¯m so sorry¡­¡± She was having a hard time breathing as I just sat there gawking, not knowing what I was supposed to do. ¡°Hey it¡¯s-¡± ¡°What do I even say when I go back? How will I face my mom? What will I even tell Lili? She¡¯s never going to talk to me again and-¡± I grabbed her shoulders, looking at her red face, ¡°Lilian loves you Pam- Pamella, she¡¯s not going to stop talking to you just because of a trip.¡± Her eyes seemed to go from sad to angry, ¡°You don¡¯t know that!¡± She seemed to hold the letter even closer than before, ¡°I know Lili, and I¡¯m hurting her- I¡¯m hurting my best friend.¡± Letter *Pamella* Marcus and I sat on opposite sides. His eyes focused on the letters in his hands, reading them carefully as he had during the whole trip. We¡¯ll be going our separate ways when we reach the next town. Marcus will be off for another month or so before he heads back. He¡¯d insisted I might as well finish the trip, but I just couldn¡¯t bare with it anymore. I felt as though crying every time I considered Lili¡¯s reaction. But truth be told, it¡¯s been a pleasant trip when I don¡¯t consider things back home. Marcus has been great company, and for once I think I understand what Lili sees in him. Sometimes I¡¯d look at him and think about how Lili would like the way his hair is tucked behind his ear, how he squints his eyes the shape a crescent moon when he smiles talking about what he likes. I¡¯ve learned to tell apart good and bad days from just the way he walks. How he looks at things when he thinks I¡¯m not watching. ¡°You sure you won¡¯t regret this Pam?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡± Yet I clenched the fabric of my skirt tightly, ¡°I¡¯ve already seen plenty, so I¡¯m happy with that.¡± He looked up from the papers at me, ¡°Well as long as you¡¯re sure.¡± ¡°I am.¡± I assured, looking out the window trying to ignore his gaze, ¡°It¡¯s been a good trip and I¡¯m bringing presents back home.¡± ¡°Did you send that letter to the Baroness?¡± I could feel my chest getting tighter, ¡°I did.¡± It had been a couple of days already. And while it was indeed a far way to send one it should have arrived already. He nodded, his eyes drifting back to the pages in his hands, yet somehow it felt as if he was still watching me, waiting for a response. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°How- How¡¯s the business been?¡± ¡°It¡¯s been great.¡± He looked back at me, ¡°The capital should be getting all sorts of new products they haven¡¯t seen before.¡± his lips curved to a smile, ¡°The new line of pearls is a great example on how successful the rip has been, and don¡¯t even get me started about the potions.¡± Smiling back as I listened to him talk the time seemed to go by faster. By nightfall we¡¯d just arrived at the town. ¡°I just don¡¯t know when to shut up.¡± He said once the driver announced we were here. ¡°Well you seemed so happy.¡± I could see his face turning red as he opened the door getting out, ¡°But you hardly got to say anything. And you¡¯re leaving.¡± I felt my face heavy, unable to hold up a straight smile without it shaking, ¡°We can meet up once you¡¯re back.¡± I assured him, getting up and taking his hand as I stepped out, ¡°Besides, this is practice for everything you¡¯re going to tell Lili.¡± I saw the smile back on his face, ¡°Fine, fine, but I don¡¯t think business interests Lili much.¡± ¡°She¡¯ll want to hear what you been up to Marcus. Also¡­¡± I looked him dead in the eyes as his smile fell, ¡°Be sure to get a present on time.¡± His face that had been laced with worry sighed, ¡°Don¡¯t say it like that, you make me worry.¡± ¡°You should be if she doesn¡¯t like it.¡± ¡°I already got her something, I can get her something extra and call it a day.¡± I looked at the inn, light emanating from every window, ¡°Lili would probably like that.¡± My eyes focused on the door, seeing Marcus fidget from the corner of my eye, ¡°You know I¡¯m a little nerves now that I have to head in.¡± ¡°You can always continue with me.¡± He suggested without missing a beat. ¡°I already made up my mind Marcus.¡± ¡°I know.¡± He tucked his hands into his pockets, ¡°In ten days time you¡¯ll be back home.¡± He looked at the inn for a second before turning back over to me, ¡°Well. I better be on my way if I wanna make it to the next place.¡± ¡°Right.¡± Seeing as my bags had been taken inside as we talked I pulled out a letter from my pocket, ¡°I wrote you something.¡± I¡¯d prepared it this morning, ¡°I rather you read it tomorrow.¡± He raised a brow, ¡°And why is that?¡± ¡°Because¡­ well I just hope you listen.¡± Marcus nodded grabbing my hand which held the letter, seeing his other hand open, seeing a necklace, ¡°Might as well make it an exchange, right?¡± He placed it in my hand as he took the letter, ¡°I¡¯ll be back in no time at all.¡± Baroness *Pamella* The trip had taken less than expected, but seeing my home through the window made my stomach hurt. The anxiety of the last couple of days catching up to me as I¡¯d bitten off my nails to the point where they bleed. As soon as the carriage came to a stop dozens of thoughts went through my head. Mother would be furious, and father might soon follow considering how long I¡¯d left. It was five months, I¡¯d written to mother nearly every day on that first month, and she never replied. Last letter I sent was the same, so sitting here now as the door is being opened I can¡¯t help worry. As soon as I poked my head out, I saw no one. Not a single person was here to greet me back. Mother was truly angry at me. When i got off the carriage left soon after, and I just stood there staring. Working up the courage to knock on that door as I dragged my bags felt like it took me forever, yet when the butler opened the door he had an apologetic look on his face. ¡°My Lady, I¡¯m glad you¡¯re safe from your trip.¡± He said, yet stood at the door his eyes downcast. ¡°Yes, well¡­ I need to see mother, I have to apologize.¡± When i tried to come in grabbed at the door again, ¡°I¡¯m sorry my Lady, but we are under strict orders not to let you in.¡± ¡°Not let me in?¡± I looked past him, seeing my Mother standing at the stairs, ¡°Mother you cant be serious.¡± The butler started closing the door as I tried pushing it open, ¡°Mother I¡¯m sorry, i was wrong¡­ Let me in please I was wrong, I can see that now.¡± My eyes felt like they burned, holding onto the door so tight my fingertips hurt. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. I saw my mothers face turn away from me. ¡°Father! Please Dad, I¡¯m sorry!¡± I couldn¡¯t see him anywhere, I just hoped he could hear me. Give me a chance. I heard the maids rush over. And felt them pull me off the doors as my eyes stuck to the back of my mothers head. ¡°You need to leaveLady Pamella.¡± The butler said, that¡¯s when I heard him whisper, ¡°I¡¯m very sorry about this.¡± The doors were shut, and I felt my heart drop. Most the maids left but one held something in her hands, her head hung low. ¡°She burned all your letters Miss, the Baron never had a chance to read them¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Is my father home?¡± She shook her head, ¡°I¡¯m afraid we haven¡¯t seen him in days, any news goes directly from the butler to the Baroness.¡± Unable to even stand as my legs gave out I pressed my hands together and begged past my sobs, ¡°Please, please just tell my mother I¡¯m sorry, this won¡¯t happen again.¡± I begged and begged, ¡°I¡¯ll get married to whoever she wants.¡± The maid seemed frozen in place. Not moving, not saying a word before she seemed to snap out of it, ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± And she left. I don¡¯t recall how long I spent there crying before i was thrown out, I¡¯m not even sure how I made my way to Duke Sables estate. But sitting across from him as he stared me down. "Lady Dusa if you have nothing to say I suggest you head on home.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Mother threw me out.¡± I was staring at the desk as I hear him get up. ¡°Has she gone mad? That¡¯s -¡± ¡°She won¡¯t even speak to me¡­¡± Reaching my hand to my mouth, ¡°I don¡¯t know where father even is, I¡¯m hoping you do.¡± I could hear him sigh as he walked away from his desk, ¡°Your father wont do much, he has no leverage. Just what is your mother thinking.¡± he was pacing back and forth. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I came here-¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be Lady Dusa, you¡¯re a friend of my daughter, you can stay.¡± Just as he finished saying that there was a knock on the door. ¡°Albert it¡¯s me, Lili is here.¡± I knew that voice, a voice that would make Lili¡¯s eyes roll at the slight sound. ¡°Well that¡¯s perfect,¡± his eyes landed on me, ¡°I¡¯m sure you need a friend right now.¡± He started his walk to the door, ¡°I¡¯ll be right with her Nora, tell her Lady Dusa is here to see her.¡± Be sensible *Lilian* Walter grabbed my hand as we waited, ¡°Do you want to speak with him alone?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to speak with him at all.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want you to regret this later Lili. News like this should be shared, and if he isn¡¯t happy we don¡¯t have to do this again.¡± He¡¯d been saying as much for a couple of days till he finally managed to convince me to even sit in here. Yet all i could hear was the commotion outside now. I admit I¡¯ve been in a foul mood as of late. When the doors flung open I had not expected to see Pamella here, not today, I would have prefered it been a different day. Her head hung low, and looking behinde herslef. That¡¯s when I saw Nora, holding that same smile she gives to me on her face. ¡°Lili-¡± ¡°You can stop.¡± I couldn¡¯t even look at her. ¡°Nothing happened, it didn¡¯t mean anything.¡± Walter stood up, ¡°I¡¯m sorry Miss Dusa but Lili and I already had plans today and we rather they not be stirred in a different direction.¡± I could hear Pamella stuttered and hesitate on her words, ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯ll be out now.¡± Her steps were such a clear sound to me even as I heard them get away. The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°Oh my Lilian, that¡¯s no way to treat an old friend.¡± I heard Nora saying, ¡°much less when shes just gotten back from a trip.¡± I took a deep breath, ¡°Where is father?¡± ¡°I¡¯m right here.¡± From the tone of his voice alone, I could already tell were this was going, ¡°I can¡¯t understand your behavior right now.¡± ¡°Oh you know exactly why father-¡± I stopped, I looked up seeing as Walter was standing in front of me, his face glaring at my father, ¡°Walter¡­ give me a minute with my father.¡± ¡°Are you sure?¡± He looked at me, his brows furrowed. ¡°Yes, I just need a minute.¡± He nodded, walking past my father and out the doors. But I could still see Nora standing besides father, ¡°Well Nora, this is a family meeting, get out.¡± ¡°Lilian!¡± Father yelled. ¡°Either she leaves or I do.¡± Father sighed, ¡°Nora, give us a minute.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t keep enabling her like this Albert! She¡¯s a married Lady now, she¡¯s no little girl.¡± Nora huffed, glaring at father, but he didn¡¯t say a word back, ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re still like this.¡± When the door slammed behind her father let out a breath he¡¯d been holding, ¡°Now Lili, I understand-¡± ¡°Understand? You sent Marcus on a trip, one he hasn¡¯t even returned from-¡± ¡°It¡¯s business Lili, he¡¯s a businessman.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a Liar!¡± I yelled, standing from my chair and pointing at him, ¡°You wanted him to leave¡­ so I¡¯ll forget about him. But I wont!¡± I took a deep breath, ¡°I love him, I can¡¯t help it. Even now, I¡¯d leave if he asked me to.¡± ¡°You¡¯re talking nonsense.¡± ¡°It¡¯s only nonsense because you let Pamella go with him! You allowed it, and you know how he feels about her! How could you let this happen?¡± ¡°Be sensible Lili-¡± I glared at him feeling my eyes burn, ¡°Stop it!¡± I couldn¡¯t take it covering my ears for a moment as I sat back down, ¡°You don¡¯t care about how I feel¡­¡± ¡°I care Lili, You¡¯re my daughter.¡± ¡°Then maybe that¡¯s the problem. I¡¯m a daughter when I should have been a son.¡± He stood up suddenly, ¡°It¡¯s nothing like that!¡± I couldn¡¯t keep sitting in this room, listening to him, ¡°I hope I never turn into you.¡± Standing up again this time I kept walking. Feeling a yank on my arm. ¡°Don¡¯t-¡± I pulled back, staggering for a moment. Watching as he just stood there, ¡°You know this isn¡¯t even what I came here for.¡± I laughed, ¡°This was so far down the list of things I wanted to talk about¡­¡± I turned back to the door pulling it open, ¡°I¡¯m having a baby dad, and you won¡¯t be a part of it.¡± Removing the shawl I¡¯d been wearing, ¡°I¡¯m done with you.¡± Walter stood there looking in between me and father, ¡°Lili, you alright?¡± I nodded, turning my back on father one last time, ¡°Let¡¯s go Walter.¡±