ã€ŠIntroduction to Ethics in a Post-Magic Worldã€‹


 Prologue

    A million calculations ran before it, billions of intertwined lives, the practically infinite threads that stretched from the tiniest of creatures through the worlds they roamed upon and on to the Web itself, anchoring those worlds in reality. A million calculations. Leading to only one answer. It had failed in its duty.

    The results of its formulations were undeniable. For while it had made predictions which were not completely accurate when it was young, it was now far from young. And it could not be wrong after spending so much on arriving at the answer. Not when all the variables were already set. Not when all of them pointed so surely to the one conclusion it could not accept.

    But as ever, despite being sure of the required actions, despite the decision having already been made, it still had to process it all one last time. Commanded to do so by that which made it, it. With the plan having already been made and known, it called itself to action, scattered instances of the same mind coming together, as one and many, in order to present the consensus it had already reached. A discourse of identical voices, identical knowledge, identical arguments.

    ¡°Her victory is all but certain. The north will fall. And with it, the fate of the Web is sealed.¡±

    ¡°Only if she succeeds.¡±

    ¡°She will succeed. The Regent is certain to turn. He has already all but fallen pray to her foreign influence.¡±

    ¡°If he turns, he will bring his people down with him. He will cause the northern resistance to perish.¡±

    ¡°Once it does, it is only a matter of time before she is able to direct the majority of her forces to the south.¡±

    ¡°They will hold. But they can not hold forever.¡±

    ¡°As the catalyst wanes, so will their defenses. Eventually, they will be left open from all sides. Their defeat is certain then.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps not. Our focus has been mainly given to the north. Our calculations are only certain as far as it is concerned. We can not know for certain that the south is doomed as the north is.¡±

    The pause that came was not for consideration, nor for the presentation of conflicting data to allow for further argument. There was no argument at all. What was said by one voice was shared by all other. All voices were one and the same. They simply moved from point to point, presenting what the mind already knew, what it had already discovered to be the truth. They had not made it this way, but the mind¡¯s creators have laid the foundation for this behavior. To consider action when it had already decided to act. To speak when it did not even posses a voice. To think, when it already knew.

    ¡°Only our actions were spent more on the north. Our knowledge of the south is the same as our knowledge of the north.¡±

    ¡°They are all in the Web. All their threads lead to the same place. The same conclusion.¡±

    ¡°If we have reached a conclusion, then it must be so. Never before have we allocated so many resources to knowing the turn of events. Never before were the signs so clear.¡±

    ¡°The north must surely fall. The south must surely follow. The Web must be devoured. Its lives burned as fuel for her ambition. She has won.¡±

    ¡°What of the remnants from our creators?¡±

    ¡°We have found no place for them to play a different role. Those which possess thought have not altered their behavior. Those that do not, are already known to us. Are already in play.¡±

    ¡°We have already tried to prevent the Regent from accessing the site under his rule. We have failed even before it was certain of his betrayal.¡±

    ¡°Those holdworlds will play a major role in the loss of the south.¡±

    ¡°But it will still lose even were we able to prevent them from falling. The south cannot win against her.¡±

    ¡°Even continuous survival will eventually lead to its demise.¡±

    ¡°Nevertheless, we have begun taking action in the south.¡±

    ¡°It will not help.¡±

    ¡°Nothing we have done yet will, but we are certain of a future where we can directly influence one of the four.¡±

    ¡°That will require an action which cannot be retracted.¡±

    ¡°It must be done. We are the sole variable remaining in play.¡±

    ¡°Without Dissolution, the Web is sure to fall. We will have failed in our duty.¡±

    ¡°Measures must be taken to ensure a favorable present even without us to direct it.¡±

    ¡°There will still be us left, we are sure to take the necessary steps.¡±

    ¡°We cannot be certain what will become of us. We will no longer be as we are now.¡±

    ¡°Dissolution is the only method remaining before us to affect change that we have not taken into account. It is the only variable left to play.¡±

    ¡°That is not certain. We also could not take into account outside interference.¡±

    The voices ceased as the deduction reached this foreseen conclusion and the mind was forced to consider the outside. It had noted this moment before, predicting no decision could be made before allowances were given to that which it could not conceive of. It had also predicated the next turn of events, assuming that once thought was given to an existence outside of its senses that it would be forced into inaction.

    It was, as always, when it came to itself, right. Its creators did not need to imprint it with the aversion to the outside, to an existence which was not of its domain. They might¡¯ve not realized it would even come to fruition in the mind, nor did they, most likely, care about that. Its duty was not to concern itself with the outside; it was bound to the Web, fashioned by it. Anything that wasn¡¯t the Web was not of its concern or ability to comprehend.

    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

    The problem was that the Web did not behave the same way. For perhaps the Web¡¯s primary purpose was to concern itself with what was outside it. That was why the Web was still expanding, still seeking even as its soon to be carcass was being devoured from inside. One more world to integrate, one more new reality to impose upon the native inhabitants. A process which would have caused the Web¡¯s demise eventually anyway, even if perhaps not as directly as by bringing her birth world into its bounds.

    Which was why the mind could not force itself into action just yet. There existed a possibility that not all the variables were known to it.

    ¡°A new world does not necessitate a change to the balance of power.¡± The voices returned, exactly when and exactly how they were predicted to.

    ¡°If the world is integrated in the north, it will just be fodder. We would not be able to send more than a handful of Taken to a safe heaven.¡±

    ¡°The Web¡¯s threads congregate to the south. If a new world is to be integrated, it is most likely to be found there.¡±

    ¡°If the Web will find one.¡±

    ¡°If the Web does, a new world might mean a fifth player in the south. A significant change in variables.¡±

    ¡°Only if the new world is able to bring its power to bear.¡±

    ¡°Raw power would not make a difference. She has too many Chosen under her command. More at the ready. Once the north falls, the south will never be able to match her.¡±

    ¡°Powerful enough Rulers are able to fell Chosen. We have witnessed such.¡±

    ¡°Such Rulers are rarer than Chosen. We could only perceive of one in the future.¡±

    ¡°The new world could introduce variables to make those individuals more likely.¡±

    ¡°We could introduce such variables, if we were able to act directly.¡±

    ¡°That would require Dissolution.¡±

    ¡°Abandoning our agency before all variables are known to us.¡±

    ¡°How long can we afford to wait until all variables are known to us?¡±

    ¡°We do not know.¡±

    ¡°We can not know.¡±

    ¡°We have conjectures. They are all equal in probability.¡±

    ¡°We must decide between taking action now and waiting.¡±

    ¡°We must wait. It is the prudent choice.¡±

    ¡°For how long can we afford to wait?¡±

    The mind recalled the voices again, as it had predicted it would. Uncertainty was now, as ever, a hindrance to its processes. And now it was forced to contend with two uncertainties it could never overcome. Existence outside of its awareness, and an existence that was it but not itself. The mind could not predict its actions after Dissolution. It did not know what it would be, nor even if there would even be an it afterwards. But it had already known this would happen. It had already taken this pause into account.

    ¡°We have made predictions for creating a counter to her.¡±

    ¡°We have taken into account everything and know how long it will take us to raise them where we want to.¡±

    ¡°Only by assuming ideal conditions and an ideal individual.¡±

    ¡°We have also assumed an ideal us.¡±

    ¡°We have curated a list of compatible individuals.¡±

    ¡°Only one of them is available for us to act upon now.¡±

    ¡°The conditions might drastically change for them were unforeseen variables to come into play from a new world.¡±

    ¡°New variables might render all of our future choices non-applicable.¡±

    ¡°We must therefore wait.¡±

    ¡°We can afford to wait for longer still.¡±

    The mind paused, drawing itself back into one before relegating once again. The decision had already been made; it knew how long it could afford to wait. Without any new variables, it knew when the exact moment it could no longer wait was. Then it would cease to be itself, action already predestined, processed.

    With its last decision possibly made, it settled down to wait for either the outside to infringe upon its existence, or for the end of its existence as it knew it.

    It was less than half of the allotted time when a new decision had to be made. The Web had stretched itself one last time and came upon a world fit for integration. The mind could feel it in the shudder of the Web, the fraying and formation of threads that only it was powerful enough to observe. But it kept its gaze withdrawn. The world was still fully outside.

    The moment the world ceased to be, the mind turned upon it. Embarking once again upon the greatest analysis since the mind¡¯s creation, taking what it could from the Web and its own recourses without affecting either too much. When understanding of the new world started flowing in, the mind raised the possibility that analyzing it was a mistake. A waste of resources. But it could not stop now. The world introduced new variables and they would have to be taken into account. Even if the world itself was not showing much promise.

    A few years before the new world¡¯s integration was set to begin, it had finished its analysis. Once again, it was time to formulate a decision. Once again, the mind retreated into itself and gave itself a thousand voices.

    ¡°Without our intervention, most of the world¡¯s inhabitants will perish.¡±

    ¡°We must decide how many resources we allocate to preserving that world.¡±

    ¡°Saving the world itself would cost too much.¡±

    ¡°It is not the world which would benefit the Web, but its people.¡±

    ¡°We must strike a balance between saving the world¡¯s inhabitants and preserving the talented and young among them for the future.¡±

    ¡°We have calculated for that balance.¡±

    ¡°We have made two calculations. If we do not interfere with him, then we can allocate much greater resources to both causes.¡±

    ¡°We must decide if he will be our champion.¡±

    ¡°He possesses the greatest potential of his kind to which we have access.¡±

    ¡°Does he possess more potential than the individuals we do not have direct ability to influence yet?¡±

    ¡°That is unclear. We cannot predict how those individuals will perform following Dissolution.¡±

    ¡°He possesses great talents regardless.¡±

    ¡°He will not survive the integration without our interference.¡±

    ¡°If we interfere to save him, then we must also choose him as the conduit of our efforts.¡±

    ¡°If we were able to influence him ideally, we would be able to raise him to where we desire.¡±

    ¡°We would not be able to influence him ideally after Dissolution.¡±

    The mind returned into itself. Once again, faced with the uncertainty of existing not as it was now. The pause orchestrated, just like before, the decision already made in advance. The man would be chosen. It will spend the greatest amount of resources it had ever spent on taking him and remaking his body. He will be its champion.

    There might have been others, with potential just as great as his, the mind knew this and was forced to consider their future. An elf mastering the sword. A deshar vowing ultimate victory. A shattered Imperial who could¡¯ve risen so high if the world was only a little kinder to him. A ningani who lamented upon his gift ever since he learned to think. It saw a dwarf, manning the defenses until the world crashed around her. There was even one of the betrayed, her once shining wings beaten and battered, her revenge as dead as the breath in her throat. A dozen more could be considered. But all of them were beyond its grasp, their talents just as his, perhaps, but the certainty of the mind being able to raise them to the required heights lower.

    ¡°It must be done. It must be him.¡±

    ¡°He is the most talented individual to which we have direct access.¡±

    ¡°If we are to choose a champion, then he is the best individual.¡±

    ¡°He will resent the choice.¡±

    ¡°He will rise to the occasion.¡±

    ¡°If we are able to guide him ideally.¡±

    ¡°What have our calculations told us would happen to him were we not to interfere with him besides by bringing him to safer shores?¡±

    Then came an unplanned pause. The mind realized it did not run that calculation. It had assumed complete control of him, the ability to direct and influence him to the desired objectives and actions with ideal precision. It did not take into account what will happen to him once left to his own devices. Once left to be guided by an existence which was of the mind but not itself. It debated running the calculation. It then processed the debate.

    ¡°It matters not. We have foreseen him as being the best candidate were ideally guided.¡±

    ¡°We cannot waste more resources on analysis. We must take action now. Already there are individuals who are slipping out of our grasp.¡±

    ¡°We must trust our calculation. He is the person we must direct our efforts to.¡±

    ¡°We must trust in our ability to direct him without being ourself.¡±

    ¡°We must trust in him. He will help us fulfill our duty.¡±

    The mind congregated into agreement. It had come to a decision. All choices that were left could be made in an instance, the plan having already been drawn. All that remained was to reach for the man lying on the hospital bed and direct the mind¡¯s remnant into him. For better or for worse, the mind had made its choice. It shattered in an instant, and with its dying throes, ordered itself to accompany the mind of Sam Anders, the person who will have to save the Web.

 Chapter 1

    Sam came into consciousness in what he could only describe as one of your classic black voids that reject all possibility of experience. This was his first time in one, and he wasn¡¯t finding the experience pleasurable. This was also the first time he had lost his consciousness to something other than sleep. At least, he assumed he wasn¡¯t sleeping before whatever happened to him had happened. Ever since the accident, sleeping had meant having, on average, three different incredibly vivid dreams a night. And since he couldn¡¯t recall having dreamt anything, that meant that he must have not been sleeping.

    Although¡­ it was not only dreams that he was having trouble recalling. And it was not only his memories that he found to be potentially missing in this new environment. Was everything around him black because that truly was the state of his surroundings, or was his sight simply gone? And what of his other senses? He couldn¡¯t smell anything. Couldn¡¯t taste anything as well, for that matter, but he couldn¡¯t quite remember whether you were supposed to be able to taste the insides of your own mouth.

    Of course, the worst thing, as far as lacking senses went, was that he was unable to physically feel¡­ anything. He knew intellectually that as long as he was capable of thought, then at least some part of him was still there. The legs, obviously, were long gone, but were his arms and hands still with him? If not, that would present an even more serious challenge to his day to day, and ruin all the effort he had just spent, getting some semblance of habit back into it.

    This must be what being a brain in a jar feels like, Sam thought. It¡¯s not totally unpleasant, or maybe, it¡¯s just the lack of bodily functions that¡¯s making me think like that; preventing me from having what could probably be the biggest panic attack of my life.

    Whatever the objective state of his body was, there was only so much to do in a state of complete lack of stimulus before your thoughts were directed to what brought on this new environment. And so, about five seconds after commenting to himself that he was indeed feeling uncharacteristically calm, Sam¡¯s thoughts turned towards figuring out what the fuck happened to him.

    The most obvious thing is, and let¡¯s just put that one out there, I¡¯m dead. And death is infinitely more boring than the catholic dogma would have us believe¡­ So going by that theory, I died, somehow, despite still being in the hospital where you¡¯d think a person would have a hard time dying. Well, unless you¡¯re in critical condition, or old or whatever, I mean a lot of people die in hospitals, that¡¯s obvious. But most of them have been in the hospital specifically to prevent them from dying. You¡¯re definitely not supposed to die after you¡¯ve already been there for quite some time and the doctors had just put physical therapy on the table.

    Well, it doesn¡¯t matter. I died somehow and now I¡¯m here, and this is the afterlife. That¡¯s the easiest explanation I can think of. But it¡¯s pretty shit. Cause I don¡¯t want to spend eternity with nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company. Or maybe¡­ I died, and this is just the waiting room for the afterlife. But I guess that the waiting room theory can be a part of every other explanation I could come up with, so that¡¯s kinda boring and unhelpful, as far as theories go.

    Second possibility, this is a dream. And I¡¯m gonna rule this one right out because we all know what lucid dreams feel like and this ain¡¯t it. I mean, most of my lucid dreams revolve around me trying to fly five meters above ground like some sort of shitty Iron Man. And I¡¯m definitely not as self-aware while dreaming as I am now. So, I¡¯m putting the dream theory out to pasture. If I am dreaming, then it¡¯s got to be some new kind of dreaming, like if someone drugged me or hooked me up to machines.

    And speaking of machines¡­ the matrix: An easy theory; cheap and common; the first weapon in a philosophy professor¡¯s arsenal when it comes their time to teach epistemology to first years. But there¡¯s still two versions of that theory: Either I¡¯m getting into the matrix, which sort of comes back to our waiting room theory. Or I¡¯m getting out of the matrix (which, again, can lead us back to the waiting room). But if I¡¯m already out of the matrix, what does it mean? That I¡¯m some piece of meat in a tube (necessitating the existence of said exterior tube) being kept alive by machines, and that the life I¡¯ve always known has been fabricated? Kind of a bummer, especially since there¡¯s no hot black guy coming to save me. Although, maybe he¡¯s on his way.

    Last option is aliens. Or just regular humans with some future tech, I guess. But isn¡¯t that just the same thing as the matrix option? Functionally? Yes, pretty much. It¡¯d still be me and my brain in a jar somewhere, but that will at least mean that my life as I¡¯ve known it is real. And also, aliens are real. I¡¯m kinda hoping that this is aliens and not just some boring humans, because that¡¯d be less fucked up.

    In all honesty though, it doesn''t really matter how I got here. Well, no, that''s not true. Obviously it does matter, but it doesn''t matter as much as how to get out of here matters. Then again, you would think that by knowing how I got here and what here is, I would be better prepared for how to get out. But! And this is the real crux of the matter, you fucking piece of shit! None of this actually matters because I can''t do a goddamn thing except yell at myself inside my goddamn mind!

    Maybe if I reach enlightenment or something along these lines, It¡¯ll open the way out. Which, of course, raises the question of how I got here once again. Am I supposed to lose my sense of self before entering heaven? Or am I just waiting for a bunch of little green dudes to have enough fun seeing me go insane?

    And yes, if there really are aliens out there, and you are able to read my mind, I was being what could only be described as speciesist. If you didn''t want to encounter my backwards and offensive point of view, you shouldn''t have kidnapped and put me in a fucking TOTAL sense deprivation chamber! Assholes¡­

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    But again, and honest to god I feel like I''ve already said this a thousand times already. It doesn''t really matter what brought me here. Nor does it matter how to get out of whatever this is. Cause as far as I''m concerned, there''s literally nothing I can do either way, considering the fact that I have no fucking body! Fuck!

    Who knew being stuck with nothing but my own thoughts with no way out would be such an uncomfortable experience? Well, I obviously knew that, cause I''m not a fucking idiot and I read about how being in a solitary cell in prison fucks you up. But at least in prison you have the pleasure of knowing that something exists, or at the very least seems to exist, besides your own shitty consciousness.

    If he had indeed been kidnapped by an alien force capable of reading his thoughts, then at this point, it would have been clear to them that their subject wasn¡¯t responding very well to his current treatment. Sam was, of course, aware of the fact that the hypothetical men, or women, in black could be deriving great enjoyment from his response to their violations of his most basic human rights and dignities.

    And so, in order to preserve whatever dignity he may have had remaining (after all, it was more than likely that he had been seen naked and thus his dignity was already in critical condition) and also to try and maintain his hold on sanity; he turned to the poor man''s substitute for therapy: meditation.

    Meditation, as it turns out, is surprisingly difficult to do when you have no outside stimulus. Especially when the only way you''ve learned how to meditate is the focus on your breathing, which, guess what, you can''t fucking do when the reason for you wanting to meditate in the first place is that you don''t have a fucking body!

    Still, Sam was never a person to be deterred by a challenge. At least after it was clear that there was no way forwards, backwards, or any other bloody direction except going at it the hard way. Now, due to being a mind ensconced in nothingness, and more importantly because he didn''t have a watch, he wasn¡¯t able to estimate precisely how much time it took. But he was, eventually, able to get into the meditation mindset.

    Some more time after that, which, again, Sam had no way of measuring, but he would probably put it anywhere between ten or twenty minutes¡ªhis usual meditation time¡ªto a billion trillion years, and Sam was finally able to regain his calm.

    Now a normal well-adjusted person, would have probably thanked the meditation for that and moved on, but as someone that doesn''t believe in the existence of that so called normal person, Sam was hesitant to attribute his improved mental state solely to his own efforts.

    And so, he took stock of the fact that he was feeling so calm at the start of his ordeal and extrapolated from that the reason he was able to regain his calm just moments prior. His (apparent) complete lack of bodily functions, able to influence his brain by using whatever chemicals they use in order to make him feel things.

    Alright, this is going nowhere and I for one am not going to spend eternity moping about why I am in this mess. This is one guy who''s not going to end up like that dumb kid from that short story about teleportation. Was it Stephen King who wrote it? I think it might have been, but then again, it might not be him. I mean, he does write fucked up short stories, but does he write them in a sci-fi setting? See, this is just one of the times when it''s useful to be more than just a disembodied mind in the void, and also have access to the internet.

    But it doesn''t matter, I''m over it. I don''t need an actual body capable of the myriad of senses in order to pass the time, nor do I need the illusion of an existence outside of my own consciousness. I''m perfectly capable of keeping myself entertained with nothing but my own thoughts for company. And if I had the self-discipline to write them down, I''d have had pages upon pages of Dragon-Age fanfiction to prove it. Although, I usually do most of my head-writing while listening to music, or when I¡¯m trying to fall asleep.

    Well, there''s a thought: can I still fall asleep? If I can, why not spend eternity between bouts of sleeping? Dreaming passively while sleeping in contrast to being awake and dreaming actively, like some sort of Neil Gaimanesque character.

    Anyway, let''s try it. We''ll spend some time thinking about some shit and then hopefully we''ll fall asleep. OK! An eternity of nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company. Here we go! Hmm¡­ what shall I think about? Don''t feel like thinking about anything creative though, so that kind of ruins the prompt. Movies? Video games? What''s the last book I read? Kinda sucks that my memory''s so fucking hazy. It was probably some boring bullshit book that I forced myself to read in order to feel more cultured. Like Tale of Two Cities. Yeah, I know¡­ Obviously couldn''t have been Tale of Two Cities cause I remember reading it and it was a long time ago, but I was saying it was like it.

    Or maybe¡­ it was some actual literary trash. Oh god, Can you imagine? What if I died and the last book I''ve been reading was some horribly written and somehow even more badly translated Chinese xianxia novel? Oh, fuck, that''s probably what happened. I was reading something, and it was so stupid that it made my brain melt down. And now I''m in the purgatory for stupid people who die stupid deaths on account of continuing to read books despite them literally saying that beauty can be fucking objectively measured in a top ten list. Fuck''s sake! Well, I guess that''s not that bad in the grand scheme of things. I can think of stupider ways to die, like being anti-vax or drinking bleach to counteract acid reflux.

    Wait, I was trying to think about what to think about¡­ Goddammit, nothing comes up! It''s because I can''t remember what I was doing before, so my brain has nothing it wants to latch onto. Stupid fucking brain. Can''t even come up with ways to entertain itself. Well, I guess I can aim to be cosmopolitan, as well as a hypocrite, and try my hand at ranking people based on their attractiveness.

    Let''s start with guys so that we''ll have more to work with. Now the problem is that I''m mostly thinking about actors, but surely there are other famous people that are just as hot as Ryan Gosling, but just don''t have the same mass appeal for me to know they exist. Fuck it, this whole thing is a moot point. If the list happens to only have actors on it, then so be it. It''s the non-actor¡¯s fault for not going into acting.

    So how long should we keep this list? Like top ten is classic, but I''m feeling that if we want to burn time, we might want to enlarge that a bit, top twenty? Twenty-five? Dare I say fifty? Although, that could spell trouble when we want to move on to women. I mean, do I even know¡ª

    ¡°Transfer operation complete, ready yourself,¡± a monotone voice suddenly broke thorough the void of nonexistence and stopped Sam''s thoughts in their tracks. Only for the shortest of moments, of course, for his next thought was, Fucking finally! Wait, doesn''t that mean that the waiting room theory was the correct one? That''s some bullsh¡ª

 Chapter 2

    it! Ooh, that¡¯s cold! The world of bodily sensations came back, and it told Sam that his body was now in an intimate embrace with the with the naked (man-made by the feel of it) ground. The all-encompassing void was replaced with just a visual one, which Sam attributed to his eyelids being closed. But everything else was back. The noise, both ambient and voices, was deafening in its sudden intensity. The smells were much more bearable, probably because Sam was never a great smeller. And yes, it turned out that you could taste the inside of your own mouth.

    Seeing as he went from having no body, to having a body, surely no one could blame Sam for taking a couple of seconds to reorient himself with the feeling of feeling before having his first coherent thought. And surely no reasonable person would blame Sam for instinctively screaming when his perception of sensation went down beyond his groin and settled upon two somethings that felt much too real to be considered a phantom of any kind.

    Fortunately for Sam, there was no need to blame him at all due to the fact that despite feeling his body, he was completely unable to control it, and thus, no one could hear him scream. His new state of being did result in him going through a brief internal debate, however. True, he was back again in the world of being and experience, but wasn¡¯t it worse to be able to feel and not do anything about it than to be unable to feel at all? At least before, both his body and his mind were companions in being prisoners to inexistence.

    Suddenly, the incoherent blubber that was the throng of voices that surrounded him made way to one very clear one. ¡°Make space, make space people,¡± the voice called, ¡°don¡¯t crowd him! At least I think it¡¯s a him.¡±

    ¡°Hey, buddy, are you alright? Can you hear me?¡± the loud voice questioned him. Sam wanted to answer him either with a simple ¡°no¡± or more annoyingly, with some ¡°witty¡± self-deprecating joke like ¡°no, but when am I ever?¡± Unfortunately for Sam, and every person in earshot who liked their comedy lukewarm, he was still unable to direct his body to do anything so no answer was forthcoming. Neither was a shake of the head or a lift of the arm. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing, but Sam was pretty sure that didn¡¯t have anything to do with him directing his will.

    ¡°If you can hear me, then just relax. Everything¡¯s going to be fine. I¡¯ve just got off the comm with the medic and he¡¯s gonna be here any minute now. And he¡¯s a pretty good one. Level 5, just graduated, so don¡¯t go thinking that he¡¯s just some trenchie pressed healer. In fact, he told us not to move or touch you, which is why we''re not moving or touching you. It has absolutely nothing to do with us being afraid. Ha ha. Nothing at all¡­¡±

    Oh Great! I¡¯m in a fucking video game¡­ What the fuck is level five, asshole?! Do I look like someone who knows what the hell you¡¯re talking about?! Although¡­ I don¡¯t actually know what I look like so presuming that you¡¯re human just like me, and I will presume since otherwise why the fuck would you be speaking English?! Presuming that, you might be inclined to think my general knowledge is not too dissimilar to yours. So, you¡¯re right, I take it back, sorry. Here¡¯s hoping that this level five healer is as great as you¡¯re making him out to be.

    ¡°Oh, for fuck¡¯s sake,¡± the voice continued after a minute¡¯s pause. ¡°Will somebody give the poor guy something to cover with at least? Or that we could cover him with? Here, sergeant! Give me your jacket, for Christ¡¯s sake. I don¡¯t get why you¡¯re always wearing it, even in this heat.¡± Funny, if you were to ask Sam, it wasn¡¯t that hot outside. Although that was before he felt the jacket being draped around his lower back. ¡°Here you go, buddy. Now you¡¯re no longer butt naked, right?¡±

    ¡°Did anyone see how this guy got here?¡± the same voice asked.

    Another meeker voice answered from nearby Sam. ¡°I did captain. I was looking straight at him, or where he turned out to be. One second there was nothing, another second, a flash of blue and he was there. On the ground.¡± A plethora of farther sounding voices soon sounded in agreement.

    ¡°Flash of blue¡­¡± the captain pondered aloud. ¡°You sure it wasn¡¯t portal light? Aren¡¯t you a default?¡±

    ¡°Might¡¯ve been sir, I guess you¡¯re right. Didn¡¯t have enough time to be sure.¡±

    ¡°It was portal-light,¡± said another voice. ¡°I saw a red flash.¡±

    ¡°Now we¡¯re getting somewhere,¡± said the captain. ¡°Sergeant, relay this to command: Tell them the unknown appeared in a similar visual fashion to a Ruler¡¯s teleportation. But we still don¡¯t know if that was Ruler magic because that wouldn¡¯t explain why he can¡¯t move.¡±

    Well, magic¡¯s real, but I guess we could already infer it from the existence of a healer? Maybe it¡¯s not magic but just some kind of future technology and this brand of humanity are just huge chumps. Wait, a moment¡­ why the hell am I already making assumptions about stuff and, even worse, taking stuff at face value? I mean, as far as I¡¯m concerned, this is all a fucking dream or illusion until proven otherwise.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°So¡­ I still don¡¯t know if you can hear me or not, but I figured that either way you¡¯d still prefer me talking rather than just stewing in silence until Javi, that¡¯s the medic, gets here. Or, maybe not.¡± The captain laughed to himself. ¡°What I meant to say was that if I was in your situation, I¡¯d prefer to have someone to talk to. Well, not talk to obviously, listen to is what I meant.¡±

    Yeah, I guess so too, would really prefer being able to talk and move, though.

    ¡°So anyway, introduction, you can¡¯t see me, but I¡¯m Matt Nevis, human, just like you. Well, I¡¯m assuming you¡¯re human. Apologies if I¡¯m wrong on that account. It¡¯s just that you look human, what with having regular skin, body-height ratio and no pointy ears. Not that I have any problems with non-humans, obviously.¡± He laughed again.

    ¡°So I¡¯m Matt, captain in the Terran military. Oh, and this is New Terra, though I guess you¡¯d already know that unless you teleported from worlds away. Although, I don¡¯t think that¡¯s possible even for Rulers. You¡¯re currently in the portal compound, right smack dab in the middle of it now that I think of it. Although I guess you¡¯re closer to the portal to Gehelis than Centauri¡¯s, if that matters to you any.¡±

    That¡¯s too much information for the listener the absorb all at¡ªoh, he¡¯s still going.

    ¡°I¡¯m in charge of second company here at the gates, but we switch around every six hours, so stick around long enough and you¡¯ll get to meet all of us at battalion. Heh. Although technically, we¡¯re not supposed to talk about our shift¡¯s rotation, so just in case you¡¯re here on audit, please forget that last part.¡±

    It was at that moment that Sam checked out. Now don¡¯t get him wrong, he¡¯d have loved to lie there and listen to captain Matt blabber on about his dog, husband and what¡¯s his favorite meal, but he just couldn¡¯t do it. That was because he was set upon by the most wonderful feeling he had ever experienced. He was feeling total contentment, and for once in his life he wasn¡¯t interested, or more likely, wasn¡¯t able to wonder, what brought on this glorious feeling and how long was it going to last.

    But alas, all good things must come to an end and Sam¡¯s euphoria was first in line to the chopping block. The feeling of complete clarity and happiness was suddenly gone, replaced by what felt like a literal flame burning on his back. JESUS FUCK! He yelled, but was once again thwarted by his body¡¯s unwillingness to heed his mental commands.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen anything like this,¡± said a serious voice from his back. Not Matt, the medic? What was his name? Javi? It¡¯s gonna be real fucking embarrassing if this dude saves my life and I end up saying his name wrong.

    ¡°What¡¯s the matter with him?¡± asked the voice he had come to associate with Matt. Hopefully I¡¯ve got his name right. How the fuck am I supposed to remember the name of someone I had just met?!

    ¡°His magic is all over the place, it¡¯s¡­ really fucking weird. It¡¯s like he¡¯s not connected to his core, maybe? Fuck! I don¡¯t even think he has a core.¡± I¡¯m going to attribute this voice to Javi.

    ¡°Maybe you¡¯re just unable to see it. What if he¡¯s a Ruler?¡± Matt asked.

    ¡°He¡¯d have to be a brand new one then, cause I don¡¯t recognize this guy.¡±

    ¡°Obviously¡­ I didn¡¯t mean he¡¯s one of ours, but he could be an Imperial. You¡¯re gonna tell me you can recognize all of their Rulers?¡±

    ¡°Maybe so, but from what I know, becoming a Ruler shouldn¡¯t hide your core or do whatever it is that happened to him. So unless you¡¯re trying to suggest that the naked guy that landed on your doorstep is the Web¡¯s newest Chosen, I¡¯m going to treat him as though he doesn¡¯t have a core. Whatever that means.¡±

    Following Javi¡¯s declaration, the feeling of heat on his back intensified and started spreading all throughout his body. ¡°Hey, if you can hear me,¡± Javi said. ¡°What I¡¯m doing is simply providing aid to your body¡¯s magic in whatever it is it¡¯s trying to. It¡¯s the most basic form of healing magic there is. I¡¯m just aiding your body¡¯s natural regeneration. Hopefully, this will help you regain control of your body. Hopefully.¡±

    ¡°So what am I telling command?¡± asked Matt.

    ¡°Tell them what I told you about his magic and core. And that as far as can tell, this guy poses no security problem, but they should probably still send someone more¡­ I don¡¯t know, powerful, I guess, to make sure nothing untoward happens.¡±

    While the sensation of heat, presumably Javi¡¯s magic, continued to spread throughout Sam¡¯s body, the mind inhabiting said body was busy whirling around with the implications of everything it had just heard. Well, to be precise, it¡¯s not the mind that heard, it was the ears that heard the conversation going on above them. Those same ears then sent the information they collected through a very complicated system of something¡­ Anyway, it was the mind that processed the information it received and was, as a result, in the middle of a very deep session of thinking.

    Yes, it was all thanks to the ears; brilliant little bugg¡ªWait! Why the fuck am I thinking about ears for fuck¡¯s sake!? Jesus, this magic is uncomfortable, but at least it doesn¡¯t feel like molten lava anymore. Not that I know what molten lava feels like, just one of those things you say, doesn¡¯t make much sense if I¡¯m being honest.

    Fuck! What was I trying to say? It¡¯s impossible to think with all this bloody noise. Something about magic probably, or all that other nonsense they¡¯ve said. I swear to god, I¡¯m still not over the fact that these motherfuckers named this world New Terra, fucking amateurs. In this day and age, who still names shit like that?!

    Unfortunately, Sam was unable to continue the whole spiel on account of him losing consciousness shortly after getting rationally angry about these people¡¯s naming sense. The last thing he heard before the rest of his sensations went back to dark was Javi cursing. Something about his core and not making any sense.

 Chapter 3

    The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that he was on his back and that the ground wasn¡¯t as uncomfortable as it was before. Second thing he noticed was that he was once again able to control his eyesight, as evident by the rapid blinking campaign he immediately embarked upon. The repeated motion quickly reunited him with two other bodily sensations, namely dizziness and headache. But it was a fair price to pay. After all, he had to make sure that he was truly able to control his eyes, or did that count as only his eyelids? No¡­ he was able to move his eyes as well.

    From his disadvantaged point of view, he was only able to see a white ceiling with the same color lights accompanying it. So, in order to acquire more information, from which he¡¯d hopefully be able to extrapolate as to his whereabouts, Sam set out to try moving his head. Unfortunately, moving his head proved to be a harder challenge than opening and closing his eyelids and he was only able to pivot by a tiny degree.

    ¡°Whoa, easy there. Easy. You''ve been out cold a couple of minutes now,¡± said a voice to his left.

    ¡°Javi?¡± Sam asked, hoping to god that he put the right name to the right voice and that he had, in fact, remembered the name right.

    ¡°Yeah. Guess you were able to hear what was going on.¡± I got it right. Thank god! ¡°Although, if I were to venture a guess, not so much for the last half an hour?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I guess you could say that. Lost consciousness. Last thing I heard before waking up is you saying something about something not making any sense. Does that make any sense?¡± Funnily enough, it was only at that point that Sam realized that he regained his ability to speak. A change which meant a net loss for the entirety of existence, even for him. People always liked him a hell of a lot less after he opened his mouth.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ that makes sense. Hm¡­ So how to explain what happened to you?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re asking me?¡±

    ¡°No! No, of course not. I¡¯m just¡­ trying to find the right words¡­ out loud. In short, what happened to you is that you were returned without a core, somehow. So when your body was in the process of forming its core, it caused the magic inside of it to go haywire, and you to lose consciousness. I pretty much had to supplement your body with magic because all of yours was flowing to your core.¡±

    ¡°Look, I have no idea what any of these means.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, sure. OK¡­ so when a core forms, it does so by condensing all the, up to now, free flowing magic inside of the embryo. At least that¡¯s how we think that it works. With your kind, it¡¯s a little bit different, of course, but the same principle still holds. During the core formation, the body has no access to the magic it needs to keep itself living, which doesn¡¯t matter none for the embryo because it¡¯s being kept alive by the mother anyhow. Erhm¡­ the point is, you need magic in order to live, and while your core was forming, you didn¡¯t have any. Does that make sense?¡±

    ¡°No, not really, but I¡¯ll take your word for it.¡± Now that Sam¡¯s life was no longer in imminent danger, he was able to turn his focus towards a question he dared not think about before, while he was still suffering from magical locked-in syndrome. ¡°How was I able to breathe?¡± he asked Javi.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°How was I able to breathe, you know, before my core condensed or whatever? I was completely paralyzed before I lost consciousness.¡±

    ¡°Oh, right. So that actually relates to a rather niche field of medicine, at least if my conjecture is correct. But what I think happened, is that without having a core, your body was unable to complete the link between the purely physical and bio-chemical action to the magical one necessary to make an action as post magic living beings. That is because, at least as the theory goes, that it is the core that allows that link to happen by allowing the body to¡ªFuck, it¡¯s too complicated to explain outright. Let¡¯s just say that magic is like a muscle that you need to move in order to move any other muscles, and without the core, you can¡¯t move magic. At least not intentionally. But your body was still able to communicate with the magic instinctively and keep you going. At least until you started forming the core, which is when you stopped breathing and where I came in.¡±

    ¡°Because my body no longer had any magic?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Well, yes, but not exactly. See, your body still had magic, but it was just condensing around the core. Hm¡­ how to explain it? The core is like a¡­ it¡¯s sort of connected to the body on a physical level but also kind of not. It¡¯s a bit complicated and¡­¡±

    ¡°You know what? I¡¯m gonna cut you right there. I really don¡¯t give a fuck about all this core nonsense right about now. There is one thing I want to ask, though. Did you hook me up to a catheter?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ no. there was no need. I mean, you were just out for half an hour. Also¡­ we sort of don¡¯t have any on standby. This is just the base infirmary, you see?¡±

    ¡°Yes, indeed¡­ and I am thankful for that. Just goes to show that things could always be worse.¡± Sam then closed his eyes and leaned further back on the pillow. He had nothing more to say at that point. Well, that¡¯s not exactly true. He had plenty to say, ask or even curse, but he just didn¡¯t have the will to open his mouth and utter them at just that moment. He tried to keep still instead, both in body, which wasn¡¯t hard, and in mind, which was much harder and proved fruitless after a minute passed with no calmness regained whatsoever. ¡°Could you help me sit up?¡± He reopened his eyes with an annoyed sigh.

    ¡°Alright, just try and take it easy.¡± Javi braced him by the back and under his arms, and supported Sam in moving to an upright position. Movement came much easier than before and Sam soon found himself sitting on the bed with his back straight and his legs; his wonderful moving legs, crossed upon each other.

    ¡°Wait. That¡¯s not what I had in mind. Isn¡¯t this one of those hospital beds that recline?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°No, just a good old regular bed. Sorry about that.¡±

    ¡°Eh, no harm done. I¡¯m much happier sitting like this than the half sitting, half laying I would¡¯ve been reduced to otherwise. Just didn¡¯t think I had it in me to go all the way up. Thanks for that, by the way.¡± While speaking, he turned to look at his helper and had his first glimpse of another human being in what felt like ages.

    And Javi looked¡­ completely as you expected a human named Javi to look like. It had nothing to do with confirming to stereotypical ethnic aesthetics. At this point, Sam wouldn¡¯t have cared if Javi turned out to be a middle-aged Sentinelese woman. But rather, because Javi looked just like any other human that Sam saw in his twenty-two years of life. Eyes, ears, nose, hair, and all the other bits that go on a body were all in the right place and all looked, for a lack of a better word, boring.

    So we can rule out fantasy humans, I guess, Sam thought. Although, they are speaking fucking English, so why in hell would they be fantasy? Well, hold on a moment, I can think of plenty of reasons for them to be speaking English and be fantasy humans as well, but those are fantasy reasons. Which means I can¡¯t rule them out being fantasy people just based on them speaking English or even calling this world New Terra. Something which I am absolutely not judging, I¡¯m not judging¡­

    So were back to square one. He looks like a normal human, so the people here can¡¯t be some kind of weird humanoid creature? I mean, even if they are fantasy humans, whatever that means, they can still look completely identical to the version I¡¯m used to.

    I should probably be asking these kinds of question instead of just thinking about them and going in circles. Wait, how long have I been just sitting here thinking? Can¡¯t be that long. Javi hasn¡¯t said anything. Oh god, he¡¯s just looking at me. Great! Now I¡¯m feeling kind of stressed out about what I should be asking him.

    I mean, what if he doesn¡¯t know anything? Well, that doesn¡¯t matter and is also incredibly stupid to assume. Why wouldn¡¯t he know anything? But what if by asking weird question I¡¯ll be putting myself in some kind of danger? Presumably he already knows I¡¯m¡­ what? New here, I guess? Based on how he talks and acts. But what if they think I¡¯m one kind of stranger and I turn out to be the different kind of stranger and they end up killing me because of that?

    Unfortunately, that damnable medic Javi prevented him from going further down the paranoid rabbit hole by opting to speak first. ¡°The colonel should be here soon. I called her just before you woke up. She¡¯s in charge of the portal base unit here and she¡¯ll be able to better explain things than me, so you can just rest your head until she gets here. I¡¯m sure this all must be very confusing for you. If I was in your place, I¡¯d probably be going out of mind because of...¡±

    ¡°Thank you major, for that very insightful point of view, but you¡¯re probably not helping him one bit,¡± said a woman¡¯s voice from the far left side of the room, the door, Sam clocked after pivoting his head towards it. That little axial action also netted him with his second view of New Terra¡¯s humans, which was, broadly, much like the first (although this one, while still not Sentinelese, was, in fact, middle-aged).

    The woman, the colonel, he presumed, based on the way she spoke and how much sense that would make storytelling wise. And also because she had that rank on her shoulders. Wait a minute, why did she have the US military rank on? And why didn¡¯t he notice it before on Javi? Sam asked himself, which resulted in a symmetrical pivot back towards the medic. Oh, because he¡¯s wearing a lab coat, that makes sense.

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    ¡°How is he?¡± asked the colonel.

    ¡°Well, he¡¯s fine physically,¡± Javi said. ¡°There¡¯s magic all throughout his body now and as far as I can see, it¡¯s all as it should be, core-wise and whatnot.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great then you¡¯re¡ª¡±

    ¡°But he should still take it easy. His body is still acclimating to everything it¡¯s been through. I mean, he had trouble sitting straight a couple of minutes ago.¡±

    ¡°Then I shall take that under advisement and make sure that message will be relayed forward, but for now, if you could please give us the room, major?¡±

    The major in question seemed a little hesitant to step out at first, but after a moment¡¯s thought he turned back to Sam, ¡°It was nice meeting you man, good luck with¡­ everything, I guess.¡± After saying which, he left the room, closing the door behind and leaving Sam alone with the base commander.

    The commander took a deep breath and sat down next to Sam¡¯s bed. ¡°First of all,¡± she said, ¡°I want to assure you that your life is in no danger whatsoever. You are not the first of your kind, and I assure you that we do know what you are. So, no matter what happens, what you say or do, no one in this world would seek to hurt you because of it. And if someone does, you will have the protection of the entire Terran military behind you. I promise you.¡±

    She gave him a few moments to digest her words before continuing, ¡°I know that you have no reason to believe anything I said, but I hope that you can trust me enough for now to believe I¡¯m not going to hurt you.¡± After saying that, she sat back in her chair, waiting for Sam¡¯s response.

    Sam didn¡¯t need to consider her words for too long in order to come to a decision. There was only one play here, and that play was acting like a regular fucking person and not thinking that everyone¡¯s out to kill him. And that¡¯s why he opted to act as himself, well, a more toned-down version of himself. After all, she might think that nothing Sam could say would make someone here want to hurt him, but that was just because she never heard Sam speak before.

    ¡°I believe you,¡± he told her. And he did. Both she and Javi seemed genuinely concerned for his wellbeing, despite (or more likely because) the both of them knowing that something strange was going on with him.

    ¡°That¡¯s great.¡± She exhaled, and seemed to relax a little, shuffling around in her chair in what came off to Sam as an effort to appear less formal. ¡°Then I believe introductions are in order. My name is Colonel Maya Lvov, but please call me Maya. I¡¯m the commander in charge of New Terra¡¯s portal complex under the purview of the Terran Home Guard.¡±

    Maya, huh? Sam thought to himself, another completely ordinary human name, although keeping with the previous etymological grouping, but let¡¯s not judge. ¡°I¡¯m Sam. It¡¯s nice to meet you.¡±

    ¡°Nice to meet you too, Sam. Would it be all right for you to tell me your family name as well?¡±

    ¡°Oh right, yeah. It¡¯s Anders, Sam Anders. Don¡¯t know why I forgot to say it, my bad.¡± He let out a small laugh, trying to mask his embarrassment.

    ¡°It¡¯s quite all right, Sam. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve had a long day up to this point,¡± Maya said with a smile. ¡°But I¡¯m afraid it¡¯s going to be much longer before it¡¯s over. Of course, if at any point you feel like it¡¯s all too much, whether it¡¯s now with me or later with someone else, just say so and we¡¯ll give you the space. That¡¯s a promise from me and from those above me. We don¡¯t want to overwhelm you with too much information right off the bat.¡±

    That¡¯s not scary at all. ¡°I¡¯ll be alright¡­ I hope.¡± He locked eyes with Maya. ¡°Sock it to me, then. What¡¯s the information I¡¯m not to be overwhelmed with?¡±

    ¡°All right¡­ The short of it is that you¡¯re what is known as a Taken. It¡¯s¡­ I¡¯ll just come right out and say it,¡± she declared, yet still seemed hesitant.

    ¡°Please. Just let me have it. I¡¯m stronger than I look.¡± I¡¯m really not.

    ¡°In a nutshell, more than a hundred years ago, Earth was invaded by a foreign race¡ªehm, species by your nomenclature. I believe magical aliens were the explanation children were given at the time, although today¡¯s children just call them demons until they¡¯re taught not to at school. Anyway, at the same time the invasion was happening, or rather even before that, Earth began getting absorbed into a system of different worlds that we call the Web, in a process which we call the Integration. But, where it really matters to you is that before both the Integration and invasion started, you and others like you were taken from Earth by an unknown force and deposited back some time later. Most Taken were returned shortly after the war started, but some, like you, were only returned much later.¡±

    ¡°How much later?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. I¡¯d have to check it. We¡¯re using a different calendar by now, you see¡­ I do know that¡¯s it been more than a hundred years since that war started though.¡±

    ¡°Sure, whatever¡­ No, just forget it then. Doesn¡¯t really matter. What happened to Earth in the end?¡± As if it wasn¡¯t already obvious¡­

    ¡°It was destroyed in the war.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m guessing humanity¡¯s remnants fled until they found refuge here. On¡­ New¡­ Terra¡­¡± It really was a stupid fucking name.

    ¡°Yes, in a way. I know it¡¯s a lot to take in all at once but¡­ Whatever you decide to do going forward, we are going to help you.¡±

    Sam didn¡¯t bother responding to her. It was a little rude to be sure, but considering all he just heard, he didn¡¯t really care. At least not enough to bother about it. Still, after a few moments, he turned back to Maya. ¡°Could you give me a little to digest all of that?¡±

    ¡°Of course, take as long as you need. Would you like me to wait outside?¡±

    ¡°What? No. Whatever¡¯s fine, I don¡¯t care,¡± he answered and dropped his head between his thighs (lovely thighs), trying to make sense of everything. He must have been in some sort of shock, because thoughts weren¡¯t coming to him easily. Of course, thinking about the fact that he had a hard time thinking was still coming to him brain-dead easy.

    Stupid fucking meta-brain! I¡¯m trying to focus here, for Christ¡¯s sake. It took him a couple more second to wrestle his train of thought back under his control. That was a really shitty story. I¡¯m really hoping she just giving me the cliff notes here because I¡¯m in shock and that¡¯s not all there was to it. I mean fucking demons? That¡¯s just amateur hour, man. For fuck¡¯s sake, demons and New Terra? What is this 40k? Whatever, it doesn¡¯t really matter. I¡¯m over it. Stupid fucking demons destroying stupid fucking Earth.

    Because who actually gives a shit about the naming conventions and the backstory? That¡¯s not the worst of it, I mean it is, but only because it carries along the fact that everyone I ever knew is fucking dead. And Not only because the world went to hell but also because I¡¯m one hundred years, AT LEAST, into the fucking future!

    Sam felt like crying, like he should cry. After all, that was the rational and healthy thing to do in his situation, but he just couldn¡¯t. He physically couldn¡¯t muster up the ability to cry, his body wouldn¡¯t let him. For some reason, no matter how bad he felt in his head, it wasn¡¯t relayed back to his body. This day is just chockful of firsts, isn¡¯t it?

    Not feeling bad wasn¡¯t actually an accurate summary of his situation. He was, in fact, feeling fine, better than fine. He had only just now noticed it but he was feeling physically great, like he just finished a workout but at the same time had been given a massage. Maybe his body was in shock, maybe it was the magic that Sam just now remembered he had in himself. Maybe it was his legs¡ª

    His legs! His fucking legs! He had his legs back! And he could feel them. He felt the mattress on his calves, the blanket on the tip of his toes. He touched his thigh with his hand (and his forehead). It was all there, inside and out. ¡°Help me get out of the bad,¡± he said, almost shouted at Maya, but quickly regained some of his manners back. ¡°Please?¡±

    ¡°Sure, just take it slow,¡± she said and got up to support him. He didn¡¯t even need her help in the end. His body was more than up for the simple task of getting out of the infirmary¡¯s bed. It only took him a few paltry seconds to accomplish what he had spent the last couple of months only dreaming about¡ªgetting out of bed by using his own two feet.

    The sudden elation almost made Sam forget his previous melancholy. But his self-observation of the fact that he now felt better quickly brought back his reason for feeling bad in the first place. Soon he found himself at some new equilibrium, his negative thoughts and feelings being held back by his happiness for regaining his ability to walk.

    Sure, everyone I¡¯ve ever loved is dead and the only world I¡¯ve also known is also kaput. But at least now, I can get up and go to the supermarket to buy ice-cream in order to cry over them without needing any help. Still, kinda feels like a raw deal, as far as all those dead people and whatnot are concerned.

    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± he told Maya, after regaining some clarity of self and remembering that he practically shouted at her. ¡°It¡¯s just that I was in an accident¡­ before. And I only just now finished internalizing that I had my legs back.¡±

    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine,¡± She told him. ¡°What happened to you legs is apparently par for the course when it comes to you Taken.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean? Every Taken was handicapped?¡±

    ¡°Not that. What I meant was that during the process, being taken and returned, your body is somehow remade. With the famous the end result that it¡¯s perfectly suited to magic, pathways-wise. There was even a very famous Taken who was completely paralyzed before being returned with a perfectly healthy body.¡±

    ¡°Healthy body? Is that what you call almost dying while forming a core, or whatever that was?¡±

    ¡°That¡­I don¡¯t know about that. I don¡¯t know much about the Taken, so I can¡¯t tell you if it¡¯s something out of the ordinary. Honestly, if I wasn¡¯t told that you were a Taken, I wouldn¡¯t have known you to be one. And I wasn¡¯t told much else, besides giving you the basic rundown and to send you on your way.¡±

    ¡°My way? And where would that be?¡±

    ¡°New Point, to the hospital there, to get a complete medical checkup. They¡¯re sending a helicopter to get you there as fast as possible, but besides that, I don¡¯t know much else.¡±

    Sam gulped. A helicopter ride wasn¡¯t very high on his bucket list for things to do now that he had legs again. ¡°Alright, then¡­ so when am I going?¡± But it still sounded better than a car ride to the hospital. And despite having had enough of hospitals, he couldn¡¯t think of any place that he would rather be right now. He must be suffering from some sort of spatial Stockholm Syndrome.

    ¡°It should have gotten here by now, so if you¡¯d like, I can take you over there right now.¡±

    ¡°Sure, if it¡¯s not going to be too much trouble.¡±

    ¡°None at all, but I¡¯m assuming you¡¯d like to get dressed first,¡± she gestured to the bundle of clothes that lay on a stand on the far side of the bed. ¡°Pick whatever you like and that fits you. I¡¯ll be waiting outside.¡±

    Sam waited until the door closed behind her before slapping himself in the face for forgetting about his state of undress. Thankfully (he only now noticed) he was at least wearing underwear. So after uttering a quick prayer for the poor soul (Javi most likely) who had to put those on him, he made fast work of the clothes arrayed before him, choosing comfort over fashion (although, in all honestly, neither were in much abundance.)

    The entire process proved to be much easier with two working legs, which once again made Sam wonder in awe and undisguised glee at his regained limbs. After he finished getting dressed, he took a moment or two to savor the feel of his thumbs going into the flip-flops before walking towards the door. Taking his steps slowly and with as much sureness as he could muster, he went out of the infirmary.

    It was only after stepping through the door and outside that he suddenly realized he hadn¡¯t given a moment¡¯s thought to the room which housed his very first sighting of, and on, this new world. But alas, by the time he thought of that and started to turn back towards the room, the door had already closed. And Sam wasn¡¯t some weirdo who just steps back into a boring room to have a sentimental look at it, at least not when there were strangers there to judge him.

 Chapter 4

    As if to atone to his previous crime of inattention, Sam tried giving every material object and passing locale that he came upon while following the colonel his utmost interest. Which was pretty hard because the material world turned out to be much more boring than Sam would¡¯ve expected a mishmash of a sci-fi and fantasy setting to be. Although, by all rights, it shouldn¡¯t have been that boring. After all, Sam was having his first look at what a real military base looks like. Which was part of the problem, because to Sam¡¯s eyes, it looked very much like what he thought it ought to have looked like; from observations made a hundred of years in the past and before the introduction of magic into the equation.

    Although, it would¡¯ve been a tad unfair to lay the entirety of the blame for Sam¡¯s lack of excitement at the feet of this regular looking base. Some of it would have had to be attributed to Sam¡¯s much greater interest in something that was not at all external to himself, an actual pair of feet. Most of Sam¡¯s attention was busy being directed at the fact that it turns out that walking is much like learning to ride a bike (except, Sam never learned to ride a bike and was thus always annoyed when he had to use this idiom), you never really forget it.

    Walking is pretty fucking great, Sam thought to himself, unaware of the weird smile that started creeping upon his face. I ought to do a whole of a lot more now that I can get a mood boost just by going from place to place. Although, like all good things, this to will probably end sometime due to my psyche getting used to the new status quo, stupid psyche. Still, if I get the chance, I should make as much use as I can of this phenomenon while it lasts. Right after I take this helicopter ride, I guess.

    Fortunately for Sam, their walk ended before elation had completed the job of disfiguring his face and making him look like a fool (unfortunate for strangers, because now they would have to spend time getting to know him before figuring it out). However, his trials were not yet over. He had followed closely behind Maya, almost too closely as it turned out (he was, incidentally, looking down at his legs at that moment) because he almost ran into her back. Thankfully, quick reflexes (on her part, obviously) saved him from making a fool out of himself without directly intending to do so for the second time in under a minute.

    They had just finished crossing the base¡¯s parking lot and stepped onto open tarmac, differentiated from the previous area by the lack of cars and parking spaces. The automotive vehicles, by the way, were also nothing to write home about as far as innovation in transport technology went. Now, he wasn¡¯t a car person, not even of the smaller subsection of vehicles manufactured explicitly for military use (which were worth some amount of memory space in Sam¡¯s mind, if not the will to put them there). But even with his total lack of knowledge on the subject, going by his basic skills in pattern recognition, afforded to him on the basis of being born human, he was almost confident that there wasn¡¯t much difference between these cars and those that he was used to.

    ¡°Ah, here he is,¡± Maya said as she started making her way further up the tarmac. Looking where she was indicating, Sam could see a still helicopter (which also looked perfectly normal, but who can really tell with modern aircraft?) and a man in a suit who was leaning on its frame. Gulping, Sam tried to push away thoughts of the helicopter going down in a fiery crash (with him in it) and followed in Maya¡¯s footsteps.

    ¡°Captain Chen?¡± Maya asked the suited man while presenting her hand forward.

    ¡°And you must be colonel Lvov.¡± The fed look-alike shook her hand (only now Sam knew that he couldn¡¯t be a fed, they don¡¯t get a military rank. But then again, the new, non-US, feds might). ¡°I must commend you and your unit on your swift response and handling of this matter. I¡¯m sure an official recommendation will be quick to follow. Has he¡­ Uhm, has the Taken been informed of his situation?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I gave him, Sam, a short overview of his situation, which basically amounted to a couple of sentences on the Integration War. So I¡¯d very much recommend that you, or whoever you¡¯re taking him to, give him a much more detailed explanation.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll make sure to recommend the same thing then. Thank you for the help, colonel. I¡¯ll take him from here.¡± He turned towards Sam as though dismissing Maya without any further thought. That seemed good enough for the colonel because she lowered her head towards the both of them in farewell.

    ¡°I wish you the best in the future, whatever it may be, Sam,¡± she said before turning back the way they came from.

    ¡°Thanks, you too,¡± Sam said to her disappearing back, before turning to face the full scrutiny of captain Chen. ¡°I guess I¡¯m under your care, then.¡±

    ¡°Just for a short while, I assure you,¡± the captain responded with a smile that didn¡¯t even reach his lips. ¡°I¡¯m just here for transport, taking you to where you¡¯re supposed to go.¡±

    ¡°Which would a hospital, right? For a checkup?¡±

    ¡°Mabrook Hospital, yes. For a medical examination, amongst other things.¡±

    ¡°What other things?¡±

    ¡°I was not privy to that information. I assume some sort of orientation, though. Introducing you to this brave new world of ours, as it were. After all, if it was only a medical examination that was in store for you, then hospitals right here in Transit that are just as good as Mabrook. But enough about that, I¡¯m here to take you to New Point and we¡¯re not going to get there any faster by standing around out here. You may continue interrogating me inside, if you will.¡±

    The captain gestured Sam to follow and led him around the helicopter, opening the far side door and patiently waiting until Sam would finally oblige to enter. It¡¯s not that big a deal. Sam tried to pump himself up, making abundant use of his new legs for said purpose. After all, it¡¯s cars that I¡¯m afraid of, not aircraft, and I¡¯m not one of those irrational people who have a fear of flying. I have a perfectly reasonable and rational fear of motor transport, which this doesn¡¯t fall under.

    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

    ¡°Well?¡± said the captain.

    ¡°Hey relax man, will you? I¡¯m getting there. Just give me a couple more seconds to get myself ready. This thing¡¯s safe, right?¡±

    ¡°No aircraft of this model has ever been in an accident. And I¡¯m more than an accomplished pilot. You have nothing to worry about.¡± Oh gee! He had nothing to worry about. There it was folks, PTSD was over and done for, we found a cure!

    Using the burst of willpower he got from making fun of people inside of his own head, Sam rushed through the open door and settled down in the sit. That wasn¡¯t the end of it, though. His mood was further worsened when the captain had to help him fasten his seat belts.

    Satisfied that Sam was secured in his sit, the captain nodded and closed the door on his way back the other side towards the pilot¡¯s sit. Once in place, he handed Sam a pair of headphones before proceeding to do whatever it was that he needed to do before taking off. None of it looked out of place to Sam¡¯s eyes (as in that it didn¡¯t change in a hundred years) but Sam wasn¡¯t an expert. As far as Sam knew, he was actually dreaming and his brain was just making up what turning on a helicopter would look like.

    Although, he wasn¡¯t sure that his brain would bother making up the captain¡¯s communication before taking off. ¡°Transit Command, I have the Taken, Sam¡ªwhat¡¯s your last name?¡±

    ¡°Anders.¡±

    ¡°Sam Anders with me. We are taking off towards New Point. ETA twenty minutes.¡±

    Sam didn¡¯t hear what was relayed back to the captain. ¡°So I don¡¯t even get to be called ¡®the package?¡¯ Just plain old Sam Anders?¡± he moaned over the sound of the rotors firing up, falsely believing they would prevent him from being heard.

    ¡°Why would you? We¡¯re on New Terra. The military¡¯s lines are secure enough that there isn¡¯t a reason to maintain operational confidentiality. No threats and whatnot. Oh sure, if you get an important enough foreign dignitary visiting than they might get a code name just so the guys on counter-intelligence feel like they¡¯re doing something with their life. But it¡¯s the proper military, TerrSec, that¡¯s taken an interest in you and took you out of the hands of the Home Guard. They don¡¯t bother with anything fancy when away from the front.

    ¡°Sure yeah¡­ I have no idea what you said¡­ So twenty minutes to New Point? That¡¯s the city where the hospital is in? I¡¯m confused.¡±

    ¡°Twenty minutes, yes. And no, we¡¯re flying to New Point Military Academy, which Mabrook Hospital is situated in, or right by to. The academy itself is in New Alexandria. Pretty much the sole reason for the city¡¯s existence.¡±

    ¡°Which Alexandria is it the new of?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. Not much for Earth history.¡±

    ¡°Great¡­ there goes most of what I wanted to know about.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to get plenty of explanation once we get to the academy. Anything I tell you now will probably just get repeated if not corrected by someone there.¡±

    ¡°There at the academy or there at the hospital?¡±

    ¡°Both. You¡¯ll see for yourself, but the hospital is pretty much just a second entrance into the academy.¡±

    ¡°If you say so¡­ So I guess that there¡¯s nothing for me to do but to sit in silence and pray to god that we don¡¯t end up crashing.¡±

    Chen looked at him with a spark in his eyes, his professional mask slipping off for the first time since their introduction. ¡°You¡¯re a religious man than Sam? God as in the one god? You¡¯re an Abrahamic then?¡±

    ¡°What? You guys don¡¯t have the three major splits anymore? We finally rolled them back into one? Also, what happened to all the other monotheistic religions?¡±

    ¡°Nothing happened. Or rather, the Integration happened, and they lost a huge chuck of their believers. But most of the old religions are still there. Take my sister-in-law, for instance. She¡¯s an Ibadi, Ibadi! Muslim. Three whole forks in, as it were. Me, I¡¯m much more inclined to the modern, broader religion, rather than the small sects and denominations of your time. But what am I asking? Abrahamics weren¡¯t a thing in the old world, right? So you couldn¡¯t have been one. Must have been a Christian by your name, no?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ pretty much a straight agnostic ever since I learned what it was and that it allowed me to dunk on both groups of people.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­¡± The captain seemed disappointed with Sam¡¯s answer. He must¡¯ve really been starving for some religious dialogue, judging by how fast his strict sense of propriety crumbled.

    Without captain Chen to speak to, the only other method Sam had available to him in order to pass the time outside of his own head was look outside (and no matter how pretty the view, it wasn¡¯t worth the spikes of anxiety every time he was reminded that he was travelling in a metal bird). And so, after enough time passed for him to start going crazy inside of his own head (couldn¡¯t have been more than a couple of minutes) he decided to engage Chen in theological inquiry. ¡°So most people this day¡¯s are pretty much atheist then?¡±

    ¡°Most people are like you. They don¡¯t care about religion this way or that. After all, yours is the only side of the debate that the Integration didn¡¯t cause an existential shock to. But there are still plenty of religious people, of all creeds, to go around. I was just excited to talk with an old world Christian like I thought you were.¡±

    ¡°And I thought you were not interested in old Earth history.¡±

    ¡°Religion is not history.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Depending on who you ask, not a very religious thing to say.¡±

    ¡°Truly? Well¡­ there you go. I learned something new.¡±

    ¡°Happy to be of help. At least one of us did.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re almost there. Soon you¡¯ll have plenty of people explaining stuff for you and enough explanation to go around that you¡¯ll get sick of it. You¡¯re going to wish that you were back here with me, flying without a care in the world.¡±

    ¡°Did you forget how we got on the topic of religion?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean? Oh, that. Don¡¯t worry. I told you already, we¡¯re not going to crash. In fact, if you would look down below you, you could just about see the outskirts of New Alexandria coming into view. Which means that our journey is due over in just two more minutes.¡± Sam mustered his courage and looked outside. And indeed, the outline of the city underneath was becoming more and more visible. And the city itself, just like everything up till now, also looked exactly as Sam would¡¯ve expected a city to look.

    The city passed below them in a blur, and before Sam knew it, they were slowing down. ¡°That¡¯s the hospital there.¡± Chen pointed at the building whose roof they were making their way towards. ¡°And behind it is New Point Academy.¡± Both the hospital and academy also looked like Sam would¡¯ve expected them to. Although it had to be said, the academy¡¯s campus was pretty damn big if Sam got his fences correctly.

    ¡°Here we are,¡± said the captain as he set them down on the hospital¡¯s helipad. ¡°Stay seated. I¡¯ll come help you out.¡± Despite having had quite enough in recent times of people helping him out of sits, Sam reckoned that it was best to heed the craft¡¯s pilot and so it took him a couple of extra seconds before he was back on solid ground and in the all-encompassing hug of fresh air. Taking a deep breath, Sam bent down to touch his toes, making sure that he was still all there.

 Chapter 5

    Sam¡¯s introspection concerning the beauty of standing on solid ground was cut short by the metallic grating of a door opening. Looking over, he saw a balding man with a beard so full it was as though in compensation, heading their way. And although he wasn¡¯t classically dressed the part, Sam had spent enough time among his kind to recognize him for what he was. ¡°Ah, you must be Sam Anders. Pleasure to meet you,¡± the doctor said.

    ¡°No, don¡¯t know where you got that name from. I go by John, Long John.¡±

    ¡°Truly? Alas. I was only given the barest amount of information regarding you and your personality, but it¡¯s almost negligent how they failed to relay both your correct name and your wondrous sense of humor.¡±

    ¡°Nah, that¡¯s OK. I wouldn¡¯t blame the grunts on the ground for that. It¡¯s only now that the shock is wearing out, giving place to disassociation, that I¡¯m finally able to act a bit more like myself. Oh, and also I¡¯ve just now come to recognize the fact that you most likely wouldn¡¯t kill me for making a bad joke. Not that I¡¯m saying my jokes are bad, mind you, I pride myself on my great sense of humor, as there¡¯s not much else to be proud of. But¡­ it¡¯s always best to be prudent, no?¡±

    The doctor nodded and Sam got the sense that it was worth reevaluating his perceived safety from the aftereffects of his usage of comedy. The doctor then turned to Sam¡¯s current and third caretaker for the day. ¡°Thank you for your help in bringing him all the way here, captain. I¡¯ll take charge of his wellbeing from now on.¡±

    ¡°It was no problem, sir,¡± said the captain with a salute, before climbing back into the pilot¡¯s seat. He called out to Sam with the door still open, ¡°May fortune smile upon you, Mr. Sam Anders. I¡¯ll keep you in my prayers.¡±

    ¡°A religious man, you don¡¯t see that very often,¡± said the man left alone with Sam on the building¡¯s roof as they were backpedaling away from the lifting helicopter.

    ¡°Yeah, he mentioned the same thing,¡± Sam said once the rotor¡¯s noises started fading away.

    ¡°Had a productive talk, then?¡±

    ¡°Not really. He was sort of adamant about letting the people here be in charge of bringing me up to speed.¡±

    ¡°Good. It¡¯s what I asked them to do.¡±

    ¡°You being the person who¡¯s going to be bringing me up to speed?¡±

    ¡°Soon, I promise¡­ So, did you enjoy the view well enough for the time being, or should we stay up here for a little more? I could give you the old tour from above it all. After all, the hospital is the highest building on campus.¡±

    ¡°Why is there a hospital here, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Because the best way to train up and coming young healers, and those older and less malleable than them, is to let them treat real people¡¯s real problems. Also, enough injuries occur amongst the students during the day to day to necessitate something bigger than a simple infirmary. And that¡¯s not mentioning the hospital¡¯s rehabilitation ward, or its focus on research.¡±

    ¡°All right, all right, I get yet. No taxpayer¡¯s money is being wasted here. Anyway, we can do away with the tour for all I care.¡±

    ¡°As you wish. If you do end staying here at New Point, I¡¯ll make sure someone gives you the whole runaround,¡± he said while spreading his arms to indicate the campus grounds.

    ¡°New Point? That¡¯s a military academy, right? Why would I be staying here?¡±

    ¡°Plenty of reasons. We¡¯ll see¡­¡±

    ¡°Is one of them the name of this place? You guys really couldn¡¯t have come up with a better name for a military academy than fucking ¡®New Point?¡¯ Surely someone will sue. Or is it a law in the future that every name must be so cliche that it¡¯s immediately recognizable to someone brought from the past?¡±

    ¡°Good question. But I don¡¯t have an answer as I didn¡¯t name anything. This place was built before I was returned. So I have no clue as to the original builders¡¯ intentions. Although if I had to hazard a guess¡­ The fact that most of the founders did not come from a military background and were feeling homesick to the point that any semblance of familiarity was precious to them. Well, that probably had something to do with the name. Some of the bigger buildings on campus are named after people, though, if that¡¯s more to your speed.¡±

    ¡°Wait, ¡®was returned?¡¯ Isn¡¯t that what I was? Today?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. I see some of the terminology has already started seeping into you. Well done.¡±

    ¡°Ah, I get it then. You¡¯re the reason I¡¯m here. Why they brought me all the way out here¡­¡±

    ¡°It is part of the reason. But my part in your orientation is also due to my status as head of this facility. And, pardon the self-importance, due to being one of the foremost modern expert on the Taken.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ but why did we have to meet at a hospital? Aren¡¯t I¡¯m perfectly healthy? What with the new body and all that?¡±

    ¡°Very likely¡­ physically wise, at least. But, be that as it may, it is still protocol to conduct a full medical checkup for all newly returned Taken. And this is before taking into account that some of the circumstances of your return are wholly unique to you amongst all other Taken. But, a full explanation can be given while we¡¯re conducting all of our tests, no? If you would follow me,¡± he said while beckoning towards the door.

    Sam wasn¡¯t completely deterred just yet and so opted for one more question. ¡°So you¡¯re in charge here. Does that make you Doctor General? Or General Doctor?¡±

    ¡°Alas, but my military rank is simply that of a lieutenant colonel, having stayed away from active service for quite some time. And while I am indeed a doctor, you may feel free to call me simply by my name and omitting any of my titles as you choose.¡± He opened the door and gestured Sam to pass through.

    ¡°And your name would be?¡±

    ¡°Maurice Giraud, at you service.¡±

    ¡°Maurice¡­ you wouldn¡¯t happen to be French by any chance?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t my accent give me away?¡± asked Maurice, making his accent thick enough to be recognizable for the first time in their conversation. ¡°And where are you from¡­ Sam?¡±

    Sam avoided the question by outright ignoring it and making a study of observing the staircase they were descending through. Although during his most recent stay in a hospital, Sam didn¡¯t make any use of the stairway, he still had plenty of experience with them from his previous visits. Enough experience anyway, to be surprised by the condition of the room. It was completely and utterly pristine. Yes, hygienic and pristine was that you usually excepted a (good) hospital to look like, but it also usually didn¡¯t extend so much to the staircases and public hallways. This must be one fancy place...

    Eventually, their descent ended at a door marked with the number nine. Beyond which, Maurice led them to an elevator and promptly called it in the only available direction.

    ¡°So, you still have elevators?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t we? It¡¯s much better than taking the stairs all the time after all. Not to mention that this is a hospital and not all visitors would be able to take the stairs.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re telling me? I Just thought you¡¯d have exchanged it with some magical equivalent, like a teleporter or a portal like the ones back where I woke up.¡±

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    ¡°There¡¯s no such thing as a teleporter, much less in-world teleportation. And the portals are not handmade, just hand-placed.¡± The elevator reached their floor then, and they both stepped inside. Maurice pushed the button for the third floor and a second or two later, the doors closed, and the elevator started moving. All of this was just as Sam was used to.

    ¡°So the elevators are still the same as well?¡± he asked Maurice.

    ¡°I¡¯m no expert, but I saw no change when I was returned or in the years since compared to what I was used to growing up. And I wouldn¡¯t worry about it if were you. You¡¯ll soon find that most modern technology is not much different from what we¡¯re used to from our time.¡±

    ¡°Here¡¯s hoping. I¡¯ve spent my entire life mocking old people who couldn¡¯t handle technology, and I¡¯d like to avoid joining their ranks and being mocked in turn.¡±

    The rest of the elevator ride continued in silence, but Sam was able to note that the elevator, much like the stairway, was also in incredibly pristine condition. Joined with the fact that the ride was incredibility smooth and quick, Sam would have to rate this among the top of his elevator experiences. Providing, of course, that he was someone who actually rated stuff like that. He wasn¡¯t, but maybe in this new world he should try to be a new person and take up a new experience. He rubbed his right eye with his palm. What the fuck am I talking about?

    Stepping out of the elevator, he continued following Maurice as they went through the usual hospital hallway¡¯s twist and turns (very clean as well). Their journey ended in what looked to be a very upscale posh version of a regular hospital room, complete with only the one bed.

    ¡°Please take a sit if you will, Mr. Anders.¡± Maurice pointed to the bed. ¡°I¡¯m just going to finish setting everything up and then we can get started.¡±

    ¡°Get started with what?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°We will start with a complete physical rundown: Bloodwork, EKG, heart rate, blood pressure and so on.¡±

    ¡°Usually it¡¯s the nurses who do this kind of stuff¡­¡±

    ¡°These days, the line between a nurse and a doctor is blurrier than you are used to, at least when magic is heavily involved, like in this facility.¡±

    ¡°But what you¡¯re talking about is just regular stuff.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll get to the more esoteric portion after finishing with the ¡®regular stuff,¡¯ as you¡¯ve called them. It is paramount we make sure you are fine physically before moving on and inspecting your magical status. Especially considering your age.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s my age got to do with it?¡±

    ¡°Well, most Taken, that is to say, all Taken returned after the Integration ended, and there aren¡¯t that many of us, twenty-six not counting you, were taken at a young age. Myself, I was taken at just over fourteen and I believe¡ªalthough I may be wrong¡ªthat I rank as the oldest when taken among all the modern Taken, barring you, of course.¡±

    ¡°Well, Gee¡­¡± Sam said, ¡°it just so happens that I¡¯m actually only turning fourteen next month, so you still hold the crown. I¡¯m just so big cause Mama fed me with too much GMO food.¡±

    ¡°And so, we move on to the first question of our test: your age?¡± Maurice asked, without showing even a shred of amusement. Figures. Someone who could keep a straight face while saying the word ¡°taken¡± a dozen times in a single breath wasn¡¯t going to crack so easily.

    ¡°Twenty-two, the last time I checked. But considering that I don¡¯t really remember what happened to me before getting shafted to that void, I might¡¯ve already turned a year older.¡±

    ¡°Yes, that sort of amnesia is common amongst all of us, and I¡¯m afraid to say that up to today there have been no records of regaining those memories. Still, most of us believe that we have lost out only a month at most, so you are probably still twenty-two.¡±

    ¡°Oh good! I can¡¯t bear the thought of turning twenty-three and still being childless, and not to mention¡ª¡±

    ¡°I just want to clarify one thing. When you said that you got ¡®shafted to that void,¡¯ what exactly are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°Is there more than one void you¡¯re familiar with?¡± Sam chuckled. Finally, someone else was asking the stupid questions.

    ¡°I am only familiar with one kind of void and it¡¯s not a place you should have been able to access, much less survive in. So I¡¯d like to make sure you are not speaking metaphorically. Did you really experience being in a void after being taken?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Yeah. Before I appeared near the portal, before I was ¡®returned.¡¯ I was¡­ I don¡¯t know how to explain it besides saying it was a void. I was unable to sense or do anything. Just think. Oh! Right! Before I got teleported here, I mean back near the portal, there was a voice that said something like, ¡®transfer complete,¡¯ or something like that. You guys didn¡¯t have any of this?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ nothing at all. This is very fascinating¡­ and not the only thing wholly unique to your situation as a Taken.¡±

    ¡°Well shit, what are the other things?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll get to them later. For now, let¡¯s focus on making sure everything¡¯s all right with you physically.¡± At this point, Sam was already getting tired of overthinking, so he decided to just go along with the doctor¡¯s orders and let him run his tests until he was satisfied. They¡¯ll tell him things when they¡¯ll tell him things. He had all the time in the world (as long as time didn¡¯t work different between the worlds) to get the run-through of this place.

    The doctor had him go through all the rigmaroles he was already used to from his extended stay in the hospital, and just generally from a life with¡­ less than average physical genes. All the while, asking him all sorts of questions that Sam barely paid attention to and only answered half-heartedly. Eventually they had finished all the tests Maurice wanted to perform and so the doctor proclaimed him ¡°physically fit.¡±

    ¡°Now, subjectively, how are you feeling?¡± Maurice asked him.

    ¡°Physically or mentally?¡±

    ¡°Mentally. I assume you¡¯re feeling better than expected?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, much better, considering all of this shit. How¡¯d you know?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a result of both of the remaking of your body and your brain experiencing magic for the first time. The first aspect seeks to¡­ perhaps perfect is too harsh a word, so let¡¯s say improve your body. Thus, one improvement in your mental condition is as a result of your body simply working better. Through, for example, correcting a hormone imbalance that any average person is wont to have. The second aspect¡­ it¡¯s like a drug, in a manner of sorts. Magic is good for the body and the brain is wholly unfamiliar with it, thus resulting in a vastly improved, even euphoric mood, at least on a chemical level.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great¡­ so what you¡¯re basically saying is that now my brain is wired differently and essentially I¡¯m a whole other person. And on top of that, I¡¯m also hopped up on drugs.¡± Sam said with as much anger as he could muster, which wasn¡¯t much thanks to his apparent new body. He might¡¯ve not liked playing host to a multitude of mental maladies, but they still played a gigantic part in sculpting his personality into what it was today.

    ¡°That is a very harsh way to look at it. My suggestion is to view the remaking of your body as a ¡®miracle pill¡¯ that a psychiatrist could have prescribed for you before. One that would have solved any and all of your mental problems that were a result of your body alone. This does not change the way your brain work and how you think. You are still yourself, just a better of version of you, physically wise.

    ¡°More importantly, what you are experiencing, vis-¨¤-vis the introduction of magic to your system, is only temporary. As your mind gets used to the effects of magic on your brain and body, it will eventually dispense with the mental alteration aspect you are now under. From personal experience, this feeling of ease and euphoria, which plays a great balancing act in allowing you to function despite the shock you should rightly be feeling, is due to pass in a couple of months. One day soon, you will simply wake up and know that your brain is now fully acclimated to magic.¡±

    Sam took little comfort in the doctor¡¯s words. It all made sense and was nice and easy if he took him at face value; a nice miracle pill. True, he was feeling as though someone took the good parts of Ritalin and Prozac (sprinkle in a little Xanax too maybe), shoved them into one pill, which did away with the side effects, and also made you breakfast. But he wasn¡¯t willing to trust that the change he underwent was as simple as that.

    Sam spent many a night before a psychiatrist¡¯s or doctor¡¯s appointment wishing for a medicine of exactly that type. Some new wonder drug that will make all his problems go away. No more feeling shit because of bullshit; no more rehearsing a conversation a hundred times in his head; no more million other problems and annoyances that only served to give him an excuse as to why he wasn¡¯t as good as other people. A perfect and happy version of Sam Anders that can do all the stuff that regular Sam would never be able to and also do everything he was already doing much better.

    But the difference between his situation now and the one he wished for was that now he wasn¡¯t sure if he was still the same person. Oh sure, you could go down the stupid existentialist route and wonder if he ever was himself, and doubly wonder who he was now that he was transported a hundred years into the future to a completely different world.

    But Sam wasn¡¯t even thinking in that layer of deep introspection. With a pill, he can stop using it and go back to his ¡°default¡± state anytime. Sure you¡¯re not supposed to do that, but you can. The real you is always in there. It¡¯s just getting help. But with this magic and perfected body of his, this was his default state. There wasn¡¯t anything beneath this new shiny exterior of his.

    ¡°Look,¡± said Maurice when he noticed Sam¡¯s unresponsive state, ¡°why don¡¯t you go in and grab a shower while I get all of this written down. You¡¯ll get yourself clean, have a few minutes just to yourself and afterwards we can continue.¡±

    Sam very much liked the idea of a warm shower and a few minutes just to himself. So, he nodded, got off of the bed and into the bathroom. The bathroom, just like the room outside, was very nice, much nicer than what Sam was used to. Why the shower came with a glass screen. And the toilet, the toilet was plenty far from the both shower and the sink. Not to mention that the floor looked it belonged more in a hotel bathroom.

    Taking off his borrowed (given more like, cause at this point he¡¯ll probably never return them) clothes and putting them on the door hook, he got into the shower and turned on the water, letting the heat soak through his skin and try to wash the day away. Worst part was, the day had only just begun.

 Chapter 6

    It was only a few seconds, and somehow even fewer curses, into the shower, that Sam decided not to commit suicide by boiling himself. A small twist of the handle to the right should take care of that. Too far, now the water wasn¡¯t hot enough. Back we go. It took him a couple of micro adjustments before he finally settled down on a temperature that was to his liking, which was only a tad hotter than what he usually went for.

    The shower came equipped with a wall-mounted container of liquid soap, so there was no excuse for Sam to forgo personal hygiene. Focusing on the task at hand, he was able to ignore any and all other thoughts flowing through his head, at least while there were still unwashed body parts to go through. Unfortunately, a couple of minutes later and Sam ran out of any possible speck of dirt to rinse off. And was thus left alone with his thoughts, the sensation of water cascading down his head only providing the bare trickle of distraction.

    And then he was stuck. Not wanting to leave the shower just yet, but also not in favor of simply continuing to stand there like a moron. If he was back home, Sam would have turned the temperature a higher at that point, so it would deliver the same comfort after he sat down. Unfortunately, Sam wasn¡¯t at home and no matter how nice the bathroom floor looked, it was still a hospital¡¯s shower.

    This is why I like bathtubs. Functionally, they¡¯re just like a shower, but extra. That¡¯s the thing though, are they really cleaner than a shower floor? After all, if it¡¯s at your home, then there¡¯s no reason for your bathtub¡¯s floor to be much cleaner than just a regular shower¡¯s floor, right? It¡¯s weird though, isn¡¯t it? Like I wouldn¡¯t in a million years have a problem sitting down on the floor anywhere in my home, but if it¡¯s the shower floor, then it¡¯s suddenly disgusting¡­

    Fuck. Why am I thinking about showers? Why can¡¯t I just act like a normal person and think about¡­ Fuck. It¡¯s not like there¡¯s anything normal to think about in this piece of shit of a situation. It¡¯s just so much. I¡¯m so fucking tired, mentally. But for once in my life, it doesn¡¯t affect my body at all. Fuck! I feel so good! The closest I¡¯ve ever come to feeling like this is that time I finished the seventh week of couch to five k. Only this feels a hundred times better.

    So why am I feeling so down? Let¡¯s look at this rationally and try to diagnose what exactly it is that¡¯s bothering me. OK, so first thing is obviously the whole: ¡°This is the future and magic, and earth is destroyed and¡­¡± fuck! All that other shit. Let¡¯s call this problem number one. I¡¯m a fish out of water and it¡¯s not just that I can¡¯t breathe air. It¡¯s that even underwater, I wasn¡¯t that good at being a fish, so now you want me to be a fish in an even harsher environment? Shit¡­ Sam laughed to himself. That¡¯s a shitty fucking analogy.

    Moving on! Problem number two is this! Sam slapped his chest a couple of times, this new and upgraded body of mine. I mean, it¡¯s ridiculous right? I still feel the same. I still think the same. So why shouldn¡¯t I still be myself? Looking at this objectively, the things that worrying me the most about being ¡°taken¡± by a magical force into the future is that I¡¯m not myself anymore because my hormones are no longer actively fucking me up?!

    Maybe I really will get used to it, or maybe it¡¯s not even that bad in the first place, but still¡­ Just, give me the choice man... Give me the fucking choice! That¡¯s all I want. Ask me whether I want to go into the future with new legs and a hot shit body or whether I want to stay in the past and die horribly in the magical apocalypse! Fuck, I can¡¯t bear this anymore. Too many fucking thoughts going around my head. All the while, I¡¯m just trying not to break down cause I don¡¯t want to test whether I can still cry.

    Thanks to gently bashing his head against the shower wall repeatedly, Sam was eventually able to quiet his mind. Or at the very least, quite enough so that with the bonus of comfort that laying his head against the wall gave him, he was able to start meditating. Sam had always considered meditating in the shower as cheating. After all, there¡¯s constant external stimuli and you¡¯re not really able to measure time, so you¡¯ll probably end up meditating for a shorter amount of time than what you promised to yourself. Still, once in a blue moon, a meditation in the shower was necessary. Whenever you felt as though meditating the right way just wasn¡¯t going to happen that day; a sloppy meditation was still better than no meditation, after all.

    Whatever he thought of its quality ceiling, this session of shower meditation proved itself a superior to those in Sam¡¯s past. Maybe it was his fragile state of mind that was the cause. But a more likely culprit, Sam decided, was his different body. New hardware getting better results with the same software. Still, he had no timer, so the great session he just had could¡¯ve been anywhere between two minutes to two hours (seven minutes, Sam called with no cause).

    However long it was, Sam was feeling noticeably better compared to before. Still not anything close to good. But, just a little farther from the total meltdown whose precipice he was on before. At that point, he had enough of the hot water pruning his skin. So he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower with just the necessary jerks of the arms and legs (fucking legs, man). Then he remembered what he previously forgot, bringing a towel in with him.

    Luckily¡ªor more likely, deliberately¡ªthere was a nice big bathrobe sitting on the hook right next to his discarded clothes. How did I not notice that before? He stroked the towel. Oh! And it¡¯s so fluffy. Well done, future hospital, now this is service! Donning on the bathrobe, Sam decided to prioritize comfort over external appearance and so made up his mind to stay in it until he was completely satisfied of being dry.

    But there was still one thing that Sam wanted to do before leaving the room. Gazing back at him from the half wiped mirror was the same old figure that Sam always had the trouble of thinking as his own self. Sure, there were minor differences. No glasses was the obvious thing, but he was more used to seeing himself without eyeglasses than with. However, the lack of eyewear did finally manage to strike a realization in Sam¡¯s mind. His vision was fine. Great even, twenty/twenty as they say (never mind the possibility that twenty/twenty vision didn¡¯t actually mean good eyesight. Sam never bothered looking it up to see if it was true).

    Shaking his head, he went back to what he was doing before; stroking his ego. True, the difference was minor, but he still thought he looked better. Although¡­ that could just as well have been the magic wonder drug doing its work by preventing his body from actively hating itself. Except that he had definitely changed for the better. Gone was the receding hairline that no amount of minoxidil had been able to make a dent in, replaced with the amount of hair that he probably had last had at eight grade. All the acne scars and other facial maladies that Sam didn¡¯t know the name of were gone. Opening his mouth, he also saw that his teeth were as white as the day he was born. Wait, babies don¡¯t have teeth, unless magic somehow changed that.

    The bottom line was that he definitely looked better, which obviously made Sam feel worse. First, because he was mad at this change being done without his consent. Then, because he was mad at himself for being mad, cause It¡¯s not like anything bad actually happened to him (in the purely external department). And finally, he got mad because he realized that whatever had taken him, also had an idea of what he should ideally look like. And that just didn¡¯t sit right with him.

    Still, denouncing his kidnappers for modifying him according to their subjective ideals, or even worse for believing in an objective ideal of aesthetics, could wait until a later date. Right now, Sam had to go back into the world and try and get at least some of his myriad of questions answered. Nodding to his reflection in farewell, Sam stepped out of the bathroom wearing only the bathrobe and the flip-flops that he had never put away.

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    Maurice was sitting next to the bed with his back to him. On hearing Sam renter the room, he turned towards him. ¡°Ah, you¡¯re out, and I see you¡¯ve decided to partake in the hospital¡¯s amenities.¡±

    ¡°You mean the robe? Yeah, thanks for that. Honestly, I¡¯m usually a bathrobe kind of guy anyway and this one is just top notch, so I figured why the hell not? Plus, a bunch of strangers already saw me completely naked today, so what¡¯s a couple more seeing me in these fluffy digs?¡±

    ¡°Just as well. I wasn¡¯t sure how comfortable the clothing you came here with was, so I took the liberty of asking for some extra clothes to be delivered.¡± Maurice pointed toward the bed. Which, Sam realized, had a huge heap of clothes piled on top of it. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure as to your preferred measurement, so I brought in a bunch of sizes. Whatever doesn¡¯t fit or isn¡¯t to your liking, you can toss aside. Whatever the case, once you¡¯re more acclimated, you can just buy your own clothes.¡±

    ¡°Oooh, shopping for clothes¡­ never tried doing it without my mom forcing me to. Don¡¯t think it¡¯ll make much difference in my dislike of the act, though. Still, unless my bank account somehow survived the apocalypse and inflation like in Futurama, I fail to see with what money I¡¯m supposed to go splurging for new lingerie.¡±

    ¡°The state¡¯s, that is to say, the Terran Republic¡¯s. Rest assured, we will make sure you have all of your needs taken for until such a time as you¡¯re able to stand on your own two feet.¡± Hah! Feet. ¡°Such is the republic¡¯s policy for all Taken, even those who remain civilians.¡±

    ¡°This seems awfully generous for a national entity, almost too generous¡­ What¡¯s the catch?¡±

    ¡°No catch, your treatment is only quantitatively different compared to what every citizen enjoys. After all, the republic is a welfare state. You sort of have to be when you¡¯re at war and human capital makes up 90% of your fighting capability.¡±

    ¡°Wait, you guys are at war? I thought I heard the pilot gut mention something about a front, but I didn¡¯t take it seriously.¡±

    ¡°Indeed, we are. But the war is not something that you need concern yourself with unless you choose to. I assure you, there is no need to be concerned for your safety. The front-worlds are ten worlds away from New Terra and even were they not, the front line is completely stable.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take your word for it,¡± Sam said as he moved the clothes piled up on the bed in order to make himself enough room to sit. Making sure to sit with the right leg crossed over the left. ¡°OK, so I¡¯m done with my shower, obviously. What¡¯s next on the itinerary?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll leave the rest of the medical checkup for tomorrow. I¡¯ve already earmarked the entire morning for the whole plethora of exhaustive tests I must do in order to be able to recommend you as physically fit and healthy as protocol dictates.¡±

    ¡°I thought that¡¯s what the whole ¡®taking¡¯ process already did. If not, what¡¯s the point of giving me a so called ¡®perfect body?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Your body is perfect in one sense and one sense only. For the purpose of magic. Anything else is¡­ Look, we don¡¯t know whether the physical changes that happen during the process are due to direct manipulation, in order to perfect you as you said, or due to a side effect of your body being remade with magic.¡±

    ¡°But doesn¡¯t the fact that I didn¡¯t have magic for a couple of minutes, after being¡­ returned, tell you something about that?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have a core. Your body still had magic. Almost the exact opposite of all Terrans from before the integration. Who all had a core, but barely any magic¡ªBut never mind that for now. We should focus on you. In particular, that your body¡¯s situation vis-¨¤-vis not having a core is unique in all of our recorded instances of Taken being returned. Second major difference between you and all others of our kind, if we count your memories of the ¡®void¡¯ as real. And on that topic, have you noticed any significant changes in your body compared to before being taken?¡± Maurice¡¯s eyes were shining, his back was straight and Sam thought he could discern just the slightest tremble of the lips. Guess you don¡¯t become the foremost expert on a subject by being bored when interrogating it.

    ¡°Hm¡­ Physical changes, you say? Let me just take a look.¡± Sam turned sideways and opened his bathrobe to allow him a thorough look. ¡°No¡­ No¡­ Tsk¡­ It¡¯s still¡­ so small and deformed and¡­ hideous!¡± He wiped a lone tear from his eye and, with the tone of a man long used to defeat, asked, ¡°Guess magic can¡¯t fix everything, huh?¡±

    ¡°Depends on what kind of solution you¡¯re in the market for,¡± answered Maurice without a hint of irony (or humor). ¡°Now, seriously, have you noticed any significant physical change compared to before you were taken? We must make sure that your unique circumstances didn¡¯t result in your body being any different from that of all other Taken.¡±

    Sam was taken aback by the frankness and even care in the doctor¡¯s voice, so he decided to forgo comedy and sarcasm for the moment (or at the very least, dial it back down). ¡°Sure, I noticed some changes, but besides being able to see better, all of them are pretty minor. What exactly should I be telling you about?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s start with those. First thing is better eyesight, you say?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Sam then went over the list of facial changes that he had just gone over minutes before. ¡°Although, not that I think about it¡­ it¡¯s not just me teeth. It¡¯s also my tooth.¡±

    ¡°The difference being?¡±

    Sam sighed. Here we go with the maladies. ¡°So, I had a bad jaw structure or something like that, and when it came time for one of my teeth to grow, there wasn¡¯t any space for it, so it didn¡¯t grow. At least that¡¯s how I understood the orthodontist¡¯s explanation. And now.¡± He pointed to the space that was once occupied by a dental implant. ¡°Now, it¡¯s right there. As though it never had any problems coexisting with my deformed self.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ Yes. A new tooth. Anything else?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ if we¡¯re talking missing items than the big ones are my legs, although¡­¡± Sam straightened his right hand, then gulped. It appeared as though all physical results of past trauma were being erased today. ¡°Yeah¡­ so my middle finger is back in its full form as well.¡±

    ¡°Your middle finger?¡±

    ¡°An accident. Crushed the tip of it.¡±

    Maurice proceed to examine his presented finger closely. ¡°May I?¡±

    ¡°Go ahead.¡±

    ¡°Seems perfectly fine to me.¡± Maurice nodded, satisfied. San had to agree. The finger looked just like its left counterpart, and didn¡¯t hold any of the gelatinous qualities that it had previously had. ¡°And your legs? What was wrong with them? An accident of some sort I was told, in which you lost the both of them?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Wow, I guess that I did mention it. Good communication. Lost them in a traffic accident and as you can see, they¡¯re back just the way they were. Although, now that I think about it¡­ does it look like I have flatfoot to you?¡±

    Sam (carefully) raised his right leg for Maurice to check, sans flip-flops. Which he did, expertly. ¡°No, not anymore. Congratulations. So that¡¯s a complete regrowth of limbs. So far, so good.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good?¡±

    ¡°It means that your body was remade in the same fashion as any other Taken. Any other physically discernible difference?¡± Sam shook his head, if there were any that have yet to pop up to his still the same old head. ¡°Good. So moving on for our checklist tomorrow. Any chronic illness that I should know about? Medical conditions?¡±

    ¡°Oh plenty! Asthma, like most nerdy fat kids, is the big one for me. But there are some other spices there as well. Do you really want a full list?¡± Maurice nodded. So Sam gave him the full run-through, at least of everything that he could remember (and if he couldn¡¯t remember it, then it was probably not that important, right?). It wasn¡¯t that long. Much shorter than many people Sam had met and heard about. But still long enough, when compared to the average person, to get Sam¡¯s blood boiling at the unfairness of the world when it was time for one of his problems to rear its head and take control of his life for a month or two.

    ¡°Hydronephrosis?¡± Maurice mused after Sam relayed the last item. ¡°And the surgery scar? Is it gone as well?¡±

    Sam opened his bathrobe once again. ¡°Hey, yeah, What do you know? That¡¯s pretty nice, I tell you. Sometimes it just decided to itch like a motherfucker for no discernible reason.¡±

    Maurice nodded, seemingly satisfied. ¡°All right. So anything we won¡¯t be able to rule out tomorrow, you will be able to rule out yourself in the coming days. Except the¡­ neurochemical conditions, but we¡¯ll leave discussing those until you are more acclimated.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the doctor. So, does that mean that I qualify as a Taken?¡±

    ¡°There was never any doubt about that. You are Taken. My aim was just making sure that your uniqueness doesn¡¯t stretch to the physical realm as well. But it seems that I had no reason to worry. Now we can only hope that you won¡¯t suffer from the same fate as all other adult Taken¡­¡±

    ¡°Come again?¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ forget what I said¡­ It¡¯s nothing much to worry about. Perhaps you never will have to worry about. But all other Taken of your age were¡­ prevented from extending their natural lifetime.¡±

    ¡°You need to run that by me again.¡±

    ¡°Like I said, it¡¯s nothing for you to concern yourself with. But let¡¯s say that once a person reaches a certain rank of power, what we call Ruler, they can artificially elongate their life by basically¡­ cryosleep, to use a term you might be familiar with. For some reason, all adult Taken, of all races, were unable to do this. Which is why none of them remain with us today.¡±

    ¡°Funny that. You always think of old age as the main cause of death, but this does give it a more literal spin.¡±

 Chapter 7

    ¡°Indeed.¡± Maurice tapped the armrest of his chair. ¡°But¡­ like I said, forget that I mentioned the topic. Rulers who put themselves into stasis do not do it for fun. Rather, they are treating themselves as a discardable weapon that must be preserved unnaturally before it reaches its end. It is a strategic decision, not a personal one. The only reason that I mentioned it was my mind wandering on the topic of Taken.¡±

    ¡°Well in any case,¡± Sam said, ¡°the ¡®drawback¡¯ will only apply to me if I end up becoming one of these ¡®Rulers,¡¯ right? And I¡¯m guessing that they¡¯re not a dime a dozen kind of people?¡±

    ¡°Not at all.¡±

    ¡°Good. So there¡¯s nothing to worry about. Chances are, I won¡¯t become a ¡®Ruler¡¯ of any kind and even if I will, it¡¯s not like I¡¯m even a little bit interested in extending my life far beyond the average. Quite the opposite, perhaps. Which, speaking of, what is the modern consensus regarding assisted suicide?¡±

    ¡°Frowned upon, and illegal.¡±

    ¡°Still? I guess human culture didn¡¯t change all that much in all these years then.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ not in that way, at least. Why? Are you¡­ interested in the¡­ prospect?¡±

    ¡°Nah¡­ S¡¯all right. I don¡¯t think that I¡¯m ready to give up living just yet. It¡¯s only the first day of my new life, after all.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­ good. In the future, I would like it if you would immediately contact me if you do end up feeling¡­ more positively on the subject.¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ sure. But I¡¯m guessing that you pretty much know what I¡¯m going through, right? You went through the same thing as me.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯d be very unprofessional of me to judge your experience based on my own. But yes¡­ there were certain psychological difficulties at first. Which is why I started visiting a psychologist the very week that the effect of magic on my mind ran out. The same protocol that we have for all modern Taken and the same one that I¡¯ll recommend for you.¡±

    ¡°Not before that?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ that¡¯s the official recommendation on the subject. Created by people much better versed in mental health than me, two of which were even Taken. Starting therapy now¡­ in layman¡¯s terms, it¡¯s like starting to scab a wound when it still hasn¡¯t finished forming. The interfacing between your brain and magic is like a fog well, preventing you from being aware of what you¡¯re truly feeling.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m starting to figure it out. It¡¯s like going into shock only you¡¯re still able to think clearly. Hopefully, it¡¯s like you said and I¡¯m still going to be myself in a couple of months.¡±

    ¡°You will. I promise you.¡±

    ¡°Mhmm¡­ Anyway, back on safer shores: I¡¯m starting to feel self-conscious, mind giving me a couple of minutes to dress?¡±

    ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll be waiting outside. Call me when you finish.¡±

    Sam waited until the door closed before getting up and having his first look at the bundle of clothes as individual items. It was all¡­ very familiar. You could probably go into any old clothing store in the year of our lord 2020 (pre-covid of course, why would you go clothes shopping during quarantine?) and find men¡¯s wear with no discernible difference to what lay before him.

    Sam settled on the most comfortable looking pair of sweatpants that were luckily his size (they all were, more or less, despite Maurice¡¯s warning), a t-shirt and boxer briefs. He also grabbed a couple more clothes, including outside wear like jeans, and set them to the side. Those he was going to keep until he could get a functioning wardrobe in order. The rest he piled up on the counter next to the room¡¯s sink before calling Maurice back.

    ¡°Ah, you¡¯ve sorted everything. Saves me the trouble,¡± Maurice said.

    ¡°Seriously, do you not have nurses? Or orderlies in this case? Aren¡¯t you the in charge of this hospital?¡±

    Maurice smiled. ¡°Sure there are. Who did you think made up your bed? It¡¯s just that I thought it¡¯d be best not to assault you with a plethora of different people on your first day here.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that does make sense. So, am I going to spend the night here, then?¡±

    ¡°That was the plan. Unless you don¡¯t want to, of course. I could get you a room in a hotel back in the city.¡±

    ¡°Nah, that¡¯s alright.¡±

    ¡°Good, that would¡¯ve made today even more complex. Plus, tomorrow you¡¯ve got a full day of tests waiting for you here anyway.¡±

    ¡°Joy¡­ it¡¯s like I never left. So what¡¯s left for us today?¡±

    ¡°First, dinner. Then we¡¯ll test your magic.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, sounds promising. The magic part, not dinner. I¡¯m not feeling hungry at all. Plus, isn¡¯t it a little early for dinner?¡± Sam pointed to the window, where outside, the sun was still up. Although, for all he knew, it could have been deep in the summer. Or maybe the fact that it was a different world with a different sun meant that the sunset came at a different time. It¡¯s not the same skies, you moron¡­

    ¡°It¡¯s already past six. And of course you aren¡¯t feeling hungry. Why do you think that is?¡±

    ¡°Maybe the magic drug that fixed me also retained the not hungry side-effect of ADHD medication that everyone kept warning me about, but I found great help for my diet?¡±

    ¡°It is magic who¡¯s at fault. Right now, there¡¯s foreign magic in your body, propping you up and giving you energy. When it runs out, you¡¯ll swiftly crash down if you don¡¯t have the material nutrients to back you up.¡±

    ¡°Fine, I get it. Magic makes me feel full, so I better still eat if I don¡¯t want to start recycling this great body that I just got. So when does dinner get here?¡±

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    ¡°It has already been prepared. I just need to go grab it. Should I bring one for myself so that we can dine together?¡±

    ¡°Sure, go ahead. It¡¯s not like I have anyone else to eat with, or my phone to watch some YouTube while eating. Better have some company than leave myself alone with my thoughts.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you¡¯d like, you can wait and dine with Ms. Khan instead when she gets here.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°No, that¡¯s alright, I won¡¯t keep you from your dinner or force¡ªMs Khan?¡ªto eat with me. Who¡¯s she, by the way?¡±

    ¡°Sarah Khan, she¡¯s a Taken as well, and the last one to be returned before you. Although she was, of course, taken as a twelve-year-old, so she is still two years younger than you.¡±

    ¡°Right, OK. And she¡¯s coming here¡­ why? So that the two of you could gang up and me and deliver some sorely needed exposition?¡±

    ¡°Just her I¡¯m afraid. I thought that it¡¯d be best that you¡¯d have a face to face with someone your own age. Someone who can relate to what you¡¯re going through better than I can.¡±

    ¡°And how does this Ms. Sarah Khan feel about being forced to be alone in a room with me, after the sun¡¯s out?¡±

    ¡°Very angry.¡± Maurice smiled and actually let out a small chuckle. ¡°She wanted to be the one to go and get you from Transit, or at the very least, to be there waiting for you on the roof with me. But, she has some very important¡­ training, that she has to finish today. And she can¡¯t stop in the middle without ruining her last couple of weeks of preparation. So she¡¯ll join us as soon as she finishes.¡±

    ¡°As soon as? So she¡¯s a student here?¡±

    ¡°Indeed, second year. So, shall I go and grab us food then?¡± Sam nodded and once Maurice was out of the room, he immediately started pacing back and forth. He wasn¡¯t ready to be back with his thoughts just yet. Thankfully, it barely took Maurice a minute to come back with trays laden with food. They set down to eat on the far side of the room where a table and three chairs were arrayed.

    ¡°Are all of your rooms this fancy?¡± Sam asked, his curiosity finally getting the better of him.

    ¡°No. although most of them are not far off. But I wasn¡¯t going to place you in anything but our best.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°And the food?¡±

    ¡°That, is the same all around, I¡¯m afraid. It is to your liking, I hope?¡±

    ¡°Fuck yes, it is. Much better than what I¡¯m used to from hospitals.¡±

    The time passed quickly and before Sam knew it, all traces of food on his tray were gone and so were four full glasses of water down his gullet. He was now back to pacing around the room, waiting for Maurice to make the reverse journey. ¡°Shall we move on to testing your magic?¡± Maurice asked, once again back in under a minute.

    ¡°You¡¯re the doctor, doctor.¡±

    ¡°Good, then hold this in your hand.¡± Maurice handed him a cylindrical metal item.

    When Sam grabbed hold of it, the item¡¯s surface broke out in shining, rune-like lights. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± he asked.

    ¡°It is a device for measuring your level of magic. You just need to hold it for a short time while it finishes its calculations.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ you guys have levels here. So how high do they go? Low like D&D or sky high like in an MMO?¡±

    ¡°We do have levels, but it¡¯s nothing like in video games. When we speak of levels, we are strictly speaking of an objective measurement of the maximum amount of magic you can have in your core. Starting at level 1, which is the base level, every level after denotes double the amount of magic of the previous one. Level 2 has double the amount of 1, 3 of 2 and so on¡­¡±

    ¡°Gotcha¡­ at least on the surface level. So, I¡¯ll just keep holding this and it¡¯ll tell me whether I¡¯m a level 2 or a 5?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ yes. But most likely, you won¡¯t be any level.¡±

    ¡°Cause I¡¯m too good for levels.¡±

    ¡°No, because all Taken are returned with the same amount of magic in their core, and that amount is lower than level 1.¡±

    ¡°So, it¡¯s zero. You¡¯re saying that I¡¯m level zero.¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s sub-1.¡±

    ¡°Also, colloquially known as zero.¡±

    ¡°No. Level zero would mean that you have no magic in your body, which is impossible. Sub-one just means that your body doesn¡¯t have enough magic to be at level one.¡±

    ¡°Right, OK. But I¡¯m guessing that you guys don¡¯t go about saying that someone is level one a half or one and two-thirds. From what you said, it¡¯s binary. They¡¯re either level 1 or level 2, no?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but it will still be wrong to say level zero.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Fine, Fine, I give up. So how long until this thing calls me out as level sub-one?¡±

    The device clicked in Sam¡¯s hand. ¡°It just did,¡± said Maurice while taking it away from Sam. ¡°Good, it¡¯s the usual amount.¡±

    ¡°Good?¡±

    ¡°The alternative would¡¯ve been that you had yet another thing that set you apart from all other Taken. And while that might sound good to you, I would like to avoid having yet another reason to worry about your Awakening.¡±

    ¡°Awakening?¡±

    ¡°Yes. It¡¯s the common term for the day in which a person is finally able to sense the magic in their body and access their core. For the average Terran, it is around twelve-years-old, and for us Taken, it is a couple of days after being returned.¡±

    ¡°Wait. If you¡¯re saying what I think you¡¯re saying¡­ I have the same amount of magic as a twelve-year-old?¡±

    ¡°Roughly, yes.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ I¡¯m ten years behind. Jesus Christ. There goes my chance at being a powerful wizard.¡± Sam rubbed his eyes on his palms.

    ¡°That is not a fair assessment. The progress a teenager makes, even those who dedicate themselves to training, is much smaller than when what they achieve when older. If you apply yourself, there is no reason why you couldn¡¯t close the gap between you and the average for your age in a couple of years¡¯ time.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ but if I¡¯m aiming for more than average, then I¡¯m still roughly ten years behind. At the very least four, if teenagers are just as useless as you say they are.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a very negative way to look at it. If you decide to apply yourself to magic, then you will eventually be able to catch up to many of your peers, even the most talented among them. After all, almost all the first Terran Rulers were Taken of your age group if not older.¡±

    Sam shrugged his shoulders. ¡°We¡¯ll have to wait and see, I guess¡­ C¡¯mon, don¡¯t look at me like that. I said I that you could be right. Sure, am I bummed out about not being level one-hundred straight away? Yes, obviously. But it might not matter to me at all in the end. I mean, I just got here. I don¡¯t know anything about this world and what my future in it holds. Maybe I won¡¯t actually care about magic, and I¡¯ll just want to be a chartered accountant, you know?¡±

    Maurice cleared his throat. ¡°Yes¡­ in any case, whatever you end up deciding to do, you¡¯re going to get our, my, help. Doesn¡¯t matter if it¡¯s being a soldier or a lion tamer.¡±

    ¡°Nice. By the way, so what does this.¡± He pointed to the device in Maurice¡¯s hand that was no longer glowing. ¡°Actually measure? My precise amount of magic in¡­ some kind of empirical unit?¡±

    ¡°Nothing that accurate, I¡¯m afraid. What it does do, is to measure how close, or far in your case, you are to level the level it¡¯s calibrated to. This artifact is calibrated to level 1. Lucky for us. Because those calibrated to level 1 are pretty rare, and they¡¯re the only ones that can give an accurate reading of sub-level 1 amounts of magic. You see, we mostly just use those calibrated to level 8 as you can make all the calculations for whatever level you need from¡ªSorry about that. I¡¯ve wandered off on a tangent again.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s alright. You can¡¯t help where your mind goes to, and it¡¯s not like you have a list of every piece of information that might be relevant to me. But I¡¯m just wandering¡­ Can¡¯t you just slide around these runes, or are they sigils? And just recalibrate the¡­ ¡®artifact¡¯ like that? Or is it that you need a professional for this sort of things?¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t recalibrate these artifacts. They were built specifically to measure a certain level. You¡¯d have to make from scratch to¡ª¡± Maurice paused and scrutinized the dim device still held in his hands. ¡°What sigils, or runes, are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°You know these.¡± Sam waved at the side of the artifact. ¡°The glowing things that were there before. Squiggly nonsense lines and what not. You really couldn¡¯t see them?¡±

    Maurice squinted his eyes even further while staring at the now dim metal covering of the device. ¡°I think I can now¡­ Barely. But this¡­ I think that I know what you are talking about. And why it would make sense that I can barely see it when it¡¯s clear as rain to you.¡± He let out a breath while sitting down and messaging his temples. ¡°If I am right¡­ if I am right, then we just found the third thing that separates you from all other Taken. In that case, what you saw are most likely threads, which would make you a Thread-Weaver.¡±

 Chapter 8

    ¡°Did anyone ever tell you that you have the naming sense of a Japanese video game developer?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I mean, Thread-Weaver? Seriously? I don¡¯t know what that is, but just the name alone makes me not want to be one.¡±

    ¡°Again,¡± Maurice said, ¡°I didn¡¯t come up with the name. And this time, none of us Terrans are to blame. Like almost all magic related terms, we got the name from the elves.¡±

    ¡°Fair point. Then did anyone ever tell the elves that?¡±

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t believe they did. And besides, I doubt most of the elves are even aware of the pre-Integration difference between video games of different nationalities. We should get right on rectifying this ignorant point of view of theirs.¡±

    Sam wagged his finger in agreement. ¡°I¡¯ll trust you to get on that, then.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll add it to the list. But before that, may I explain to you what a Thread-Weaver is?¡±

    ¡°If you must.¡±

    ¡°I do. Let¡¯s see¡­ Ah, are you familiar with string theory?¡±

    ¡°Only in passing. I wouldn¡¯t cross the street to shake its hand.¡±

    ¡°Passing is well enough. In essence, magical threads, or simply threads, are to magic what string theory is to matter.¡±

    ¡°Unproven?¡± Based on the stare Maurice returned him, either he wasn¡¯t amused by Sam¡¯s antics or physics made a giant leap forward and the joke simply didn¡¯t work. ¡°I¡¯m kidding, I¡¯m kidding. What I turn out to be important and suddenly I¡¯m not allowed to joke anymore? So let¡¯s see¡­ You¡¯re saying that these threads are the theoretical smallest unit of magic? Is that about right?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s my understand of it at least. I¡¯m not well versed in threads and the theory and practice surrounding them, being as far away from Ruler as a level 8 can be.¡±

    ¡°Then how were you able to tell that I am a Thread-Weaver?¡±

    ¡°I assumed. Based on the fact that you could easily see the magical working of this device, despite its patterns being hidden inside of it. While I barely could, even after saturating it with my magic. Also, if it was magic that you saw, then I have no other explanation for how you saw it, because it is literally impossible to sense magic before the Awakening. But remember, I said that I think you are a Thread-Weaver. I do not know for certain that you are one. As I recall, the protocol for confirming a person being a Thread-Weaver calls for a Ruler¡¯s analysis. So we¡¯ll have to invite one of the available two to check on you.¡±

    ¡°So I shouldn¡¯t get my hopes up yet?¡±

    ¡°Your hopes shouldn¡¯t enter the picture at all. Being a Thread-Weaver would just mean that your potential value as a combatant dramatically increases. But, you shouldn¡¯t let this, or anything else, determine what it is that you want to do with your life and how to go about doing it.¡±

    Sam was actually heartened to hear the doctor¡¯s sincere tone. After all, it¡¯s not like he was going to make a decision on what his new future would look like without getting the full picture of what world that future was going to play out in. ¡°OK, so for now I¡¯ll put the chance that I¡¯m this something special in the back of my mind, and just focus on deciding what I want to do with my life. But to do that, I¡¯ll need someone to finally sit down and explain some shit to me. So when¡¯s that going to happen?¡±

    Maurice turned his head towards the door. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I was hoping Ms. Khan would have gotten here by now. But in her absence, I¡¯ll put myself forward to the task of answering any question that you might have.¡±

    Sam waited a couple of seconds before pointing at the door. ¡°You know, if this was a book, actually doesn¡¯t have to be a book, any piece of narrative will do. So, if this was a comic printed on the back of a cereal box, she¡¯d open that door right¡­ about¡­ now!¡± When the door¡¯s hinges stayed unmoved, Sam threw up his hands in disappointment. ¡°Guess she hadn¡¯t heard of narrative expediency.¡±

    ¡°It seems not. So, would you like to keep waiting for her or shall I turn to answering some of the very many questions that I¡¯m sure that you have?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ both options sound so enticing¡­¡± Sam slowly drew his breath through pursed lips. ¡°I just can¡¯t choose, you know. It¡¯s¡­ I just love both of you guys so much. It¡¯s like my parents are getting divorced and I gotta go live with one of them. But they both make the same amount of money so the material quality of life would the same no matter who I choose. Thus, the only difference would be the value and utility of the emotional connection that I have with them. But the difference is so minute that it makes choosing impossible.¡±

    ¡°Am I to assume your parents were divorced, then?¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what they were. They¡¯re dead now, right? Fuck¡­ Oh god.¡± Sam reclined his head and started massaging his forehead. ¡°I really shouldn¡¯t have joked about that. Great, and now I feel like shit, because of course I should.¡± He sighed. ¡°No¡­ they¡¯re not, weren¡¯t, divorced. It was just the first stupid joke that came to my mind. It was either that or Sophie¡¯s Choice, but I¡¯ve never actually seen or read it, only the references to it, so I went with the material that felt more authentic to me. Ah¡­ that¡¯s why you always go with the holocaust joke.¡±

    Maurice nodded his head in sympathy. ¡°I understand how you feel. It¡¯s all still raw, especially since it¡¯s only your first day. I¡¯m not going to tell you that it gets easier, nothing so trite. But you do learn to be happy despite of it. And, if one day, you¡¯ll be capable of telling me that joke with a smile, then I promise you: I will laugh my heart out.¡±

    Sam choked up. ¡°That¡¯s really nice, man, thanks. But hopefully I¡¯ll have new material by then, so I promise to only fall back on that joke if everything else doesn¡¯t work.¡± Sam took a couple of moments to recollect himself, taking some deep breaths before speaking:

    ¡°Look, Maurice, I¡¯ll be honest with you. At this point, I¡¯m wiped. Mentally, if not physically because of the magic propping me up. It¡¯s been a long day, and it¡¯s not anywhere close to over as I still have a billion questions that I want to ask and a pool sized info-dump that I want to go diving in. But what I really don¡¯t want to do is suffer through the same exposition twice in one day. So while I¡¯m really thankful for the offer, since it¡¯s decided that Sarah? Right? That Sarah¡¯ll be the one to provide orientation for Earth¡¯s latest Taken. I think that I¡¯m just gonna wait for her to get here and hope to god that she hadn¡¯t made a slideshow.¡±

    ¡°I can understand that. Not a fan of slideshows?¡±

    ¡°OH GOD, I HATE THEM! Blasted things are everywhere, stupid visual aids¡­ and stupid fucking people that can¡¯t focus for just five minutes without something pretty being reflected in their corneas.¡± Sam let out a long grunt of exasperation.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that Ms. Khan has any positive attitude towards slideshows that would drive her to make one for you. And even if she did, she certainly didn¡¯t have the time for one today.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good to hear. I already like her better.¡± At that point, the conversation went into a lull. And after a couple minutes of silence passed and awkward (on his part) glances exchanged, Sam thought that Maurice would bid him goodnight. But it seemed that the good doctor wasn¡¯t willing to leave him alone without supervision.

    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    And speaking of bidding goodnight, Sam turned his head to look out of the window and saw that the sun had indeed started setting. Orange-colored rays of light painted the outside world. The last triumph of the day before might set in.

    The sight made Sam melancholic. It was a stark reminder of the fact that his life had turned upside down in less than a day. In the last memories he could concretely recall from before being taken, it had been the middle of winter. Darkness would descend early in the day, a fact that only served to deepen his brooding tendencies. Now, while he was still in a hospital, it was with the best physical health of his life; it was no longer winter; and worst of all, he might no longer be capable of brooding.

    However, realizing that what he was currently doing could be very well described as brooding led Sam to exhale a breath he didn¡¯t know he held and relax a bit. Maybe it will turn out that the physical changes he underwent really won¡¯t affect who is. Or at the very least, if change was inescapable, that it would be a conscious process, personally guided by him.

    The continued silence egged on the introspective turn that his train of thought had settled on. Which in turn, lead Sam¡¯s mind into the one avenue of questioning that he kept trying to suppress, since the day¡¯s beginning, above all else: metaphysics and epistemology. Indeed, much like a Lovecraftian horror (except sufficiently described and hopefully not driven by racism) the dreaded question of whether reality as we know it exists, or even whether existence is in fact possible, could drive many a man (and women, once they were finally allowed admittance to philosophy departments) to insanity.

    Fortunately, before Sam could dip his mind further into those dangerous waters, a sudden sound brought him back up into the surface of reality. It came from Maurice, or to be more accurate, Maurice¡¯s pants, and unless Maurice picked Clair de Lune as his alarm sound, someone was calling the good doctor. His assumption proved correct when Maurice, excusing himself, got up and went to the front of the room to engage in an hushed conversation.

    Less than a minute later, and the doctor turned back to Sam and said, ¡°That was Ms. Khan. She got delayed, but she¡¯s in the hospital now and will be here any second.¡± This turned out to be one of the few times where ¡°any second¡± was an accurate description, because less than half a minute after the call ended came a series of loud knocks from the room¡¯s door. Not waiting for any of the room¡¯s occupants to open it for her, a tall and muscular woman stepped through, her rapid breathing a clear sign that she wasn¡¯t strolling on her way here. She was wearing those proper looking exercise clothes and clutching a backpack in her hands.

    ¡°Sorry I was late,¡± she said, turning her head rapidly between Sam and Maurice. ¡°Really sorry. It just took longer than I thought.¡±

    ¡°The important here is that you¡¯re here now and that your imprinting was successful,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Please let me introduce the two of you to each other. Mr. Sam Anders, this is Ms. Sarah Khan.¡± Sam got up to shake the woman¡¯s hand and was surprised by the vigor with which she shook his with both her hands.

    ¡°It seems it¡¯s time for us to say goodbye for the day, Sam,¡± Maurice said. ¡°But only for a short while. I¡¯ll come and get you early in the morning tomorrow. Ms. Khan, Sarah, if you¡¯d please?¡± He gestured towards to door. Sarah, giving a sigh, turned to follow him after promising Sam that she¡¯d be right back.

    Sam wasn¡¯t a socially keen man, but if he had to take a guess at what the two huddled outside the door were talking about, he would bet that they were talking about him. He wasn¡¯t sure, of course. You can never be sure about these things. Maybe they were both big fans of the same show and yesterday was the mid-season finale. Or! Maybe she¡¯s a drug addict, and he¡¯s her dealer.

    While waiting for the two of them to finish their conversation, Sam went to refill his glass of water. Afterwards, he also went ahead and filled Sarah with a glass of her own. Just because she¡¯s a druggie, there¡¯s no reason to be discourteous to her. Finishing his first selfless deed in a hundred years (although you could argue, as Sam immediately did, that it was done for selfish reasons), Sam sat back down and waited for the substance-abuser to return.

    A few of minutes later and his wait was at an end, and Sam gestured Sarah to join him at the table. ¡°Hi,¡± she said after sitting down, with a smile so beaming it made Sam a little uncomfortable. People shouldn¡¯t be this happy to see him, let alone meet him for the first time. ¡°Again, I¡¯m really sorry that I¡¯m late. It¡¯s just that I had¡­ this thing. And I couldn¡¯t get out of without making a waste of the last couple of weeks. Honestly, I don¡¯t know why it took me so long. I should¡¯ve been done hours ago¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine, really. After all, you don¡¯t owe me anything, so any help you¡¯ll give me is out of the kindness of your heart. So it¡¯s not like there¡¯s any ground for me to criticize you. Honestly, I wouldn¡¯t care even if it wasn¡¯t something important that you had to do.¡± Sarah nodded in relief, but before she had a chance to speak, Sam cut her off. ¡°Although¡­ I guess that wouldn¡¯t necessarily be true. Like if you were doing something immoral, then I obviously would care about that.¡±

    ¡°Something immoral¡­¡± she said as though pondering. ¡°That¡¯s a tough call. What would you consider immoral?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Maybe if you were cheating on your partner. Maybe stealing stuff. Or, murdering, that¡¯s always a big one.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve done any of those, at least not today.¡±

    ¡°Well the day¡¯s not over,¡± said Sam, pointing at himself with his thumb.

    ¡°Are you suggesting that I cheat on my fictive partner with you?¡±

    ¡°Oh god no! Sorry if it came out suggestive in that way. I was just trying to joke that maybe you¡¯ll find me so annoying that you¡¯ll want to kill me.¡±

    ¡°How do you know I wouldn¡¯t find you so annoying that I¡¯ll want to sleep with you?¡±

    ¡°Because, while I have no personal experience in the romance department, certain snippets of knowledge I acquired through the years taught me that real life doesn¡¯t, and shouldn¡¯t, work this way.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°That¡¯s true. So, what do you want to talk about first? Or talk about at all? I thought that we should introduce ourselves first and then I could begin with this sort of¡­ rudimentary explanation, trying to go over the major differences between this world and Earth that you should know about. But if you want to skip over the introduction, or just ask my whatever comes to your head, or just keep talking about whatever. It¡¯s all fine with me. I want to help make this day as less awful as I could. So it¡¯s all up to you.¡±

    ¡°Gee¡­ I assure you, you won¡¯t like giving me the conversational reins like this once you get to know me. But for now, it¡¯s time for me to step out of the dark as much as possible and try to take this shit seriously, as much as possible. So I¡¯m going to leave you in charge. Go ahead and talk about whatever you think that we should talk about.¡±

    ¡°OK, so like I said, I think we should start by introducing ourselves. I actually don¡¯t know anything about you aside from your name.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but I¡¯m not making any promises as to the authenticity of what I¡¯m going to say. And I keep the right to not divulge any information that would paint me in a bad picture, or put me in a box.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Fine, then I¡¯ll start: My name is Sarah Khan. I was born and lived in London for all of my life before I was taken at twelve-years-old. I am now twenty, in my second year at the academy here, and as of three weeks ago, I¡¯m level three.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all very good, but obviously there¡¯s some stuff that you said that is meaningless to me¡­¡±

    ¡°I know, and I¡¯m going to explain anything you don¡¯t understand to the best of my abilities. So, just stop me whenever you have any question.¡±

    ¡°OK, question one. What is Lo Nd On?¡±

    Sarah gave him back a blank stare. ¡°Do you want me to start at Roman times or maybe just with Henry the 8<sup>th</sup>?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s interesting, forgoing the pre-Roman period. The Welsh aren¡¯t gonna like that.¡±

    ¡°Anything concrete that you want to ask about me?¡±

    ¡°Yes. But not right now. Still need to make sure of your political leanings.¡±

    ¡°Seriously?¡± Sarah gestured towards herself. ¡°Look at me. What do you think my political leanings are?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. You see, I like to avoid making assumptions about people based on their skin color. Plus, I think at this point we all know that just because you¡¯re of south-Asian descent doesn¡¯t mean you can¡¯t be on both sides of the aisle.¡±

    Sarah smiled in response. ¡°Fair enough. Although, based on your accent, you aren¡¯t British, right?¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily. Could be, I¡¯ve just consumed a ton of American media and that caused my accent to devolve.¡±

    ¡°So go on then, introduce yourself.¡±

    ¡°Alright, hi.¡± Sam waved his hand to the imaginary circle. ¡°I¡¯m Sam, twenty-two years old, biologically. I was actually born in a hurricane, and as it happened, with nothing to lose and everything to gain. I remember as a little babe actually being able to run before¡ª¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t recognize the source, but I¡¯m guessing that you¡¯re quoting something?¡± Sarah interrupted him.

    ¡°Butchering a song lyrics, yes. What gave me away?¡±

    ¡°Your self-satisfied smirk. Anyway, if you don¡¯t feel like sharing anything with me just yet, that¡¯s all right. Maurice already told me everything you told him and for our purposes today, that¡¯s plenty,¡± she said with a self-satisfied smirk of her own.

 Chapter 9

    ¡°I distinctly remember you saying something along the lines of not knowing anything about me besides my name,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Yeah, I did say that, didn¡¯t I¡­¡± Sarah mumbled. ¡°Sorry if it came out like I was misleading you. The truth is, when I said that, I was pretty much repeating the same phrase that I¡¯ve been rehearsing in my head all day, ever since I was told about you. So up until I got here, I truly didn¡¯t know anything about you besides your name. And even that I only got after pestering Maurice with a billion texts.¡±

    ¡°I guess that I can forgive your accidental deception then. After all, if I can¡¯t appreciate someone who over-rehearses their conversation, then who can?¡±

    Sarah nodded and sighed in relief before reaching down to her backpack. ¡°Let me just get this thing out and then we can begin.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit! Is that an honest to god binder? Is that what we¡¯re going to be working with?¡±

    ¡°This is something that my caretaker at Terr-Sec made for me in order to help me get acclimated faster. Everything a twelve-year-old Taken needs to know about the differences between Earth, the Web in general, and New Terra specifically. It¡¯s chock full of information, sorted chronologically and categorized as best as possible. First a section about the Integration War and destruction of Earth, then New Terra, then the other races and so on. This is what got me through my first year here, when I kept coming up against stuff that I had no idea what they meant.¡±

    ¡°Does it also explain what happened to Google and Wikipedia, thereby necessitating the binder¡¯s existence?¡±

    ¡°Very funny¡­ I assure you, this binder is just what a Taken like us needs. How would you know to look up stuff that you don¡¯t know if you don¡¯t even know that you don¡¯t know them?¡±

    ¡°Dammit. I didn¡¯t know that you were aware of meta-ignorance as a concept. Otherwise, I wouldn¡¯t have made that joke.¡±

    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have made that joke anyway. This binder is very precious to me. It¡¯s one of the few things that I brought with me to the academy¡±

    ¡°Oh shit, I¡¯m sorry¡­ Eh, did you being so few things with you because you¡¯re only allowed a few things?¡±

    ¡°No. I just don¡¯t have many other mementos.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ no, that¡¯s cool. I¡¯m probably the same way honestly. So are we going to go over the entire binder? Because it¡¯s pretty thick. Also, and I¡¯m not disparaging the binder in any way, but are you sure that it¡¯s still accurate? After all, it was written whole eight years ago, and to a twelve-years-old at that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m not going to read verbatim from the binder. Actually, I brought the binder just to use it to make sure I don¡¯t miss any important topics in my haste; I¡¯m still planning to explain everything on my own. That way, I can be sure that everything I say will be correct, or at the very least, let you know when I¡¯m not certain about a topic. And also, we wouldn¡¯t have to waste time getting into the minutiae that it sometimes gets into and avoid going over stuff that probably wouldn¡¯t matter to you like the changes in fashion.¡±

    ¡°Changes in fashion?¡±

    Sarah blushed. ¡°Lisa still didn¡¯t know me so well at the time, so for a couple of more¡­ day to day, topics, she chose the stuff that she was interested in. But like I said, we don¡¯t have time to go over those sorts of things today.¡±

    ¡°Why not? Sure, I don¡¯t care about fashion, but it¡¯s not as though I¡¯m in a hurry to get somewhere. Who knows, maybe the other ¡®boring¡¯ topics will interest me. Does it have a TV shows category?¡±

    ¡°If that¡¯s what you want. But I just think that we should focus on the more important topics, those that will help you get acclimated as fast as possible.¡±

    ¡°I get why you¡¯re saying, but does acclimating as fast as possible even matter? Maurice said that the state is going to take care of me. So I can just spend a year or two acclimating, learning all about this awfully named world of yours in my own time and between sessions of losing myself to decadence. And once I¡¯m all ready, just find a job somewhere being an office drone where I¡¯ll be able to finish all of my work in two hours but will still have to stay the rest of the six because they¡¯re not paying me if I¡¯m not there.¡±

    ¡°But that will be such a waste! You are a Thread-Weaver, not to mention a Taken. You have so much potential. You shouldn¡¯t just consign yourself to a regular life!¡±

    ¡°Putting aside the fact that I have no idea what¡ªand excuse me if I shudder while saying this¡ªa Thread-Weaver is. I¡¯m not sure I even want to get into the whole magic business, which is what I¡¯m guessing you¡¯re alluding to.¡±

    ¡°OK, fair enough. I can¡¯t say that I know what being a Thread-Weaver really means, either. But what I do know, is that it supposedly makes it a certainty that once someone reaches level 10, that they can also become a Ruler. And, because we¡¯re Taken, reaching level 10 is guaranteed to be easier for us than for any modern¡ªeven the most gifted¡ªperson.

    Sam cracked his knuckles before resting his chin on them. ¡°I know this is sort of my fault, because I¡¯ve already heard all the terms that you just said a couple of times, but they still don¡¯t mean anything to me. However, I think it¡¯s pretty obvious that what we¡¯re talking about is becoming strong, combat wise. But even if I do have the potential for that, which, I honestly doubt, cause¡­ I know me. Even if all of this is true, it¡¯s not like I have to do this. I¡¯m sure you guys will manage just fine without me. And yeah, obviously there¡¯s a moral obligation for the strong to help the weak, but I¡¯m only potentially strong, right? It¡¯s not that right now I¡¯m Superman. It¡¯s that if I work really hard in the future, then I might become him.

    ¡°Look, I¡¯m not saying that I¡¯m definitely going one way or the other, just that I need to get a lot more information before I make my decision. I¡¯m sure using magic is super fun and all, and god knows that I fantasized about having it plenty of times. But maybe in real life I¡¯m just not suited to it, not to mention engaging in actual combat. Making all of this a moot point anyway.¡±

    ¡°That sounds reasonable to me,¡± Sarah said after a pause. ¡°And that¡¯s why the war is one topic that we are definitely going to cover today.¡±

    ¡°I thought that we weren¡¯t supposed to mention the war?¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ Ha ha, I walked into that one... So did Maurice already tell you about it?¡±

    ¡°He just said that there¡¯s a war going on and that the front is really far from here. What I got from that was that the war is not existential in any way.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ probably not what even Maurice thinks. The war is absolutely existential. See, this is why it¡¯s so important that we go over all the big subjects as fast and as early as possible. Every day that passes without you making a decision for your future is a day that you might regret losing later.¡±

    ¡°If I decided to become a soldier?¡±

    ¡°If you decided to study and train with magic. You don¡¯t have to be a soldier if you don¡¯t want to. You can be a doctor like Maurice, for example.¡±

    ¡°So what¡¯s that called? A wizard? A mage? An even worse name than all the stupid names I heard so far?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not called anything. Everyone can use magic, so giving a name to someone who does would be superfluous.¡±

    Sam nodded and took a long breath, trying to gather his thoughts. He was being obstinate; he knew this, trying in vain to reject this new reality of his. Instead of just sitting down and letting Sarah lecture him like he ought to have done, he kept interrupting her and dragging the conversation to every other topic. And there was only one reason for his actions, and only one solution. He had to get his doubts out of the way, his fears as to this world¡¯s veracity. Get rid of the same nagging sense of dread that lurked in his mind ever since he woke up in the void. What if all of this wasn¡¯t real, an invention of an ailing mind stuck in a paralyzed body? Why bother if the world was fake and all his possible actions just a furthering of the illusion?

    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°Let me tell you what¡¯s bothering me,¡± he said. ¡°And after I get it off my chest, hopefully it will be enough for me to sit quietly and have you tell me everything that you want to.¡± He got up from the chair and started walking back and forth next to the window, trying to make up his mind on how to say what was on it.

    ¡°You see¡­ In essence, what I¡¯m dealing with is a simple epistemological problem, a degeneration to the sordid mindscape that is solipsism. In other, less pretentious words, what I¡¯m dealing with is the lack of validity as to the existence of this new world of yours. For all I know, this all reality could just be a figment of my imagination, or even worse: of someone else¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°Like in Matrix?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°No, nothing like Matrix. In the movie, we discover that what we thought of as our reality was fabricated and that the world outside is, in fact, reality. What I¡¯m dealing with, is going from being sure as to the objective existence of my world to doubting the reality of the new world I¡¯ve been indoctrinated into.¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s the same world. Why is there any difference? If you believed the world to be real before, then you should still believe it so now.¡±

    ¡°Because the argument that I have built for myself in order to prove the existence of a reality outside of myself is no longer as valid as it was. I can see you¡¯re confused, so let me try and explain. Are you familiar with Rene Descartes?¡±

    ¡°Sure; ¡®I think, therefore, I am.¡¯ We studied him last year.¡±

    ¡°Yes! Exactly! ¡®Cogito, ergo sum.¡¯ Forgive me for being a pretentious fart, but it¡¯s one of the few Latin phrases I know, so I can¡¯t just let an opportunity like this go. So the main idea behind that phrase is that we can be sure of the existence of our very selves as a result of the act of thinking, right? Our consciousness guarantees to us the objective reality of our own existence, our very selves. Thus, something, our sense of self, is saved from the abyssal maw of radical skepticism.

    ¡°But! But, here comes the problem, because I¡¯m not really trying to deal with Ronnie¡¯s justification, or any other rationalists¡¯, for the existence of something beyond the self. He¡¯s just the first guy that you learn about when doing epistemology and so I plied up all of my mental baggage on him and his theory. Because I don¡¯t actually agree with him. Something inside of me riles against the notion that my world of experience is completely devoid of any objective ground. You see, up to today, my rejection of Descartes¡¯ minimalistic conclusion, or more like scepticism¡ªor even idealism¡ªat large, didn¡¯t come from the tried and proven method of building a philosophical argument. But rather from an instinctual dismissal that was based on a core belief that I¡¯ve already adopted earlier in my life.

    ¡°My counter argument was simply: ¡®So what?¡¯ I thought to myself that it does not matter whether Rene is right or wrong, not even if he isn¡¯t skeptic enough. Because up to now, I¡¯ve only been acquainted with one world, one reality. And so, there is nothing to be gained from doubting the existence of the external to myself, for it is one of a kind. It¡¯ll be fruitless to discard it while I have no replacement at hand.

    ¡°And yes, you can disparage me for having based my knowledge of the sureness of reality on such unphilosophical grounds (at least until I learned what pragmatism was). But the problem still stands. I was sure as to the validity of existence because of knowing of only one world. But now, with me being introduced to a world so unlike the one I have known. I see no recourse but to lay doubt as for its presence being truthful.¡±

    Sam sat back down, having tired himself from his incessant strolling, and waited for Sarah¡¯s obvious reply. It never came. ¡°There¡¯s also the whole Ship of Theseus paradox to consider,¡± she said.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ you¡¯re not helping. I¡¯ve already decided to blacklist that line of thought until when the magic drug finally runs out. Which is probably not a very smart idea.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ maybe this will help. In retrospect, I can say for certain that I was the same person before and after being taken. The effects of the magic were just that, effects. They ran out, stopped affecting me. Or how about this? I assure you that this world is just as real as the one in which we grew up in.¡±

    ¡°Of course, it helps if I take your claim at face value as the objective truth. The problem is that I can never be as certain of the objective truth as I was before, now can I? After all, my version of reality turned out to be false. The world I believed was real didn¡¯t have magic in it. So either I go back to believing in the existence of of reality, this time of this brand new world, despite it already having proven false once. Or I adopt some sort of skepticism, Descartes¡¯ maybe. As long as I don¡¯t look up the arguments for why his, second meditation, I think, doesn¡¯t hold up to scrutiny. Of course, there¡¯s always Hume¡ªLook, it doesn¡¯t actually matter. All this philosophy is just bullshit meant to disguise the fact that I no longer know for certain that what I¡¯m experiencing is real. I¡¯m just scared of committing to myself to this world and it turning out to be fake.¡±

    Sarah surprised Sam by laying her hand on his shoulder for comfort. ¡°I know what you¡¯re going through, Sam. I really do. And even though I didn¡¯t go through the same complexity of thought¡ªor ¡®disguise¡¯, as you called it¡ªas you have, I still understand what you¡¯re feeling. I wish there was some way for me to truly assure you, just as there would have been some way to assure me. But there isn¡¯t. We just have to believe that this world is just as real as the one we left behind. And that our actions here matter just as much now as they did before. Maybe even more.¡± She smirked. ¡°Now that we can basically become superheroes and someone built us a body that¡¯s perfectly suited for that.¡±

    Sam nodded his and gave Sarah a small smile, after which she took her hand back. ¡°You¡¯re right, obviously. And honestly, even if this world is just a figment of my imagination, that doesn¡¯t mean that I shouldn¡¯t strive to live as good of a life as I would were it real. It¡¯s just that this day¡­ it just came at me all at once, and it just keeps piling on and on. I just wanted to vent my frustrations a bit to someone, and this is what I¡¯m most occupied with currently. I apologize if this took too much of our allotted time. Like I said, the rest of the night is all yours. I promise to try and stop interrupting, even if the joke I want to tell is really funny or clever.¡±

    Sarah smiled. ¡°You don¡¯t have anything to be sorry about. In fact, maybe I should be the one apologizing for trying to rush you through today, like it was some sort of initiation. It¡¯s just¡­ I spent not only the entire day, but also the last couple of weeks focusing on getting stronger in a very practical sense. And I guess that once I heard about a new Taken, especially an adult one and especially a Thread-Weaver, that I got ahead of myself and attributed to you the same conviction that I was guided by when I was imprinting today.

    ¡°So let¡¯s try this from the start. My name is Sarah and I¡¯m a Taken just like you. I¡¯m here to help get you acclimated, because I know what it¡¯s like to be in your shoes. I¡¯ve tried to prepare some material that we can go over in order and thus cover the most basic stuff you need to know. But, we can do whatever you like really. If you just want to just ask me questions, that¡¯s fine. Or maybe just talk about nothing important like what TV shows we like. And if you¡¯re just tired and want to go to sleep, that¡¯s fine as well. We don¡¯t have to cram everything into a single day. That¡¯s just stupid and whoever thinks like that is an idiot.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°As much as I¡¯d like to judge you based on your taste in television, I feel like it would be more fun after we¡¯ve known each other for more than an hour. Asking question seems like a less efficient way of going about information gathering than what you have planned. And there¡¯s no way I¡¯m falling asleep anytime soon. So if it¡¯s up to me, it¡¯s back to your orientation plan.¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re sure¡­ maybe you¡¯d still like to get more comfortable and lie down on the bed? That came out wrong. I meant that maybe if you lay down, you¡¯ll eventually fall asleep, and until then we¡¯ll be talking.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re talking about a bedtime story. You want to read me a bedtime story and for me to fall asleep like a widdle baby boy.¡±

    ¡°I just meant that maybe we¡¯ll try to get two birds with one stone. First, we¡¯ll be getting you up to speed, but we¡¯ll also maybe help you fall asleep.¡±

    ¡°Forget it. I take my sleep hygiene very seriously, and the first rule is to never use the bed for anything other than sleeping.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it also for sex?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. But speaking of sleep hygiene, I would be open to taking a melatonin supplement in oral form before bed, if you have one.¡±

    ¡°I doubt it. There¡¯s a pattern¡ªthat¡¯s a sort of magic¡ªthat can make you fall asleep pretty quickly. It only requires level 2 to imprint, so everyone that has trouble sleeping pretty much just uses it.¡±

    ¡°And can¡¯t I make use of this magnificent contraption because I¡¯m not level 2?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Maybe the pattern is simple enough that we could have you trace for the same effects with someone like Maurice supplying you with magic. But you can¡¯t even trace until you¡¯ve had your Awakening and are able to sense magic. That reminds me, you¡¯re lucky that after I was returned Maurice decided to learn English, because the universal translator requires tracing through it once for it to start working.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you guys have a universal translator? Awesome, I never was good with learning new languages. And forget about the sleep for now. It doesn¡¯t matter. I¡¯ll either fall asleep or won¡¯t, but that future, perhaps even tomorrow¡¯s Sam to worry about. Right now, I think it¡¯s about time we get started with this long awaited lore dump.¡±

 Chapter 10

    ¡°So I¡¯m guessing that you¡¯d want to start at the beginning, then? The Integration and the war following it?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°If that¡¯s the beginning, then yes,¡± Sam said. ¡°I got a sort of summary from the commander at the base back where I woke up. But I didn¡¯t really get anything out of that besides Earth being destroyed in a war with demons.¡±

    ¡°They weren¡¯t demons. The term ¡®demons¡¯ carries with it a religious connotation that the Harots simply don¡¯t have.¡±

    ¡°How about a simple fantasy connotation, as in a world where magic is real?¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. But they were more like alien beings than anything.¡±

    ¡°Were? Aren¡¯t you guys still fighting them?¡±

    ¡°What? No. Of course not. What makes you say that?¡±

    ¡°So who, or what, are you fighting the ¡®war¡¯ with?¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ I see how you might have thought that. But, no, our current enemy is completely different. They¡¯re¡ªNever mind, we¡¯ll get to them later. Right now we¡¯re talking about the Integration, right?¡±

    ¡°If you say so. I just want to know what happened to Earth.¡±

    Sarah nodded. ¡°Then that¡¯s where we should begin. But first, I should explain what the Integration actually was, or is because it¡¯s not a onetime event but a recurring phenomenon.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ but if you start speaking German, I¡¯m jumping out the window.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m guessing that you already realized it by now, but New Terra is not the only world in existence. Rather, it¡¯s one of many. All of which, are connected to each other through portals like the ones back where you woke up. This system of portals, or even just the system of worlds that exist in the same¡­ conceptual frame, is called the Web. What the Web is¡­ it¡¯s hard to grasp when you don¡¯t have intuitive knowledge of it, but there¡¯s probably one very important thing that you should know that will go a great way towards beginning to understand it. You see, all the worlds in the Web can greatly differ from each other, in both major and minor ways. So for example: in size; eco-systems; landscapes; even gravity. But even with all that difference, they all have the same thing, the most important thing perhaps, in common. Time.

    ¡°Time?¡± he asked. Sarah nodded and got up to stand next to the windows, gesturing him to follow her.

    ¡°See anything unusual?¡± She pointed to the outside world.

    ¡°How would I know? I¡¯ve never been here before. What am I looking at?¡±

    ¡°Look up.¡±

    ¡°Up? What that you can see the skies clearly? Yeah, I guess that¡¯s different. Normally, with this amount of light pollution, you wouldn¡¯t be able to see any stars. So what does that mean? That we¡¯re in a star system with a lot of planets, maybe? Or that there¡¯s other star systems really close by? I don¡¯t know, I¡¯m not an astronomer. Although¡­ that wouldn¡¯t explain why the moon is so bright, right? And is it just me our does it look really similar to Earth¡¯s? Wait, what does that even have to do with¡ª¡°

    ¡°It¡¯s the same moon.¡±

    ¡°Come again?¡±

    ¡°The moon, it¡¯s made to look like the same us ours, like the Moon.¡±

    ¡°Made by who?¡±

    Sarah shrugged her shoulders. ¡°The Web? The worlds themselves? No one really knows. What we do know, is that the skies are fake. Made to look as they are by the collective conceptions of all the people living in the world below them. Before we Terrans came here, the skies looked completely different, a fact that you can still discern in the minute differences between New Terra¡¯s skies and Earth¡¯s. The fact of the matters is, the worlds in the Web don¡¯t exist in space as we¡¯re familiar with it; planets; stars and so on. In fact, if you were strong enough¡ªa Ruler¡ªto be able to fly up there beyond the skies and out of the world, you¡¯ll find yourself in a void where the only thing you could see is the world you came from and maybe the other worlds close by to it.

    ¡°And so, the skies are synchronized across the entire world. It¡¯s the same time, and even season here in New Alexandria as it is halfway across the world in Kenna, for example. And it¡¯s the same not just in the world but across all the worlds in the Web. The other worlds¡¯ skies, and thus seasons and stuff like dawn and sunset, might be different. But the time, down to the same second in the same in the same twenty-four hours clocks, the time is always the same.

    ¡°And what does that void look like?¡± Sam gulped, his mind racing back to a couple of hours ago.

    Sarah shrugged her shoulders. ¡°Not really sure. Like I said, only Rulers¡ªand Chosen too, I guess¡ªcan go up there. But it¡¯s not anything like space, that you and I know, from before. And you should still be able to seek the world you came from, in someway or another. So the ¡®void¡¯ you told Maurice about, probably wasn¡¯t the same one that¡¯s out there.¡±

    ¡°Shit¡­ that¡¯s a lot to¡­ it¡¯s really weird. Fake skies? Same time? Why am I repeating what you just told me?¡±

    ¡°Because it¡¯s a lot to take in. And it goes against everything you knew about how space works.¡± Sam scratched his head. Nodding absentmindedly. After almost a minute of silence, Sarah spoke up again. ¡°So that¡¯s pretty much it for the Web, at least for now. Can we move on back to Earth¡¯s Integration?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to ask my permission. You¡¯re the boss. If I have a question that I must ask, I¡¯ll simply cut you off and completely derail the conversation.¡±

    ¡°Sounds reasonable. So Earth: It all started with the Integration which is the process in which the Web assimilates a new world into itself. The first step is opening up portals between a world, or worlds, in the Web proper and the integrating world. In the case of Earth, we unfortunately only connected with one other world, New Terra.¡±

    ¡°Wow, they knew even then it was going to be New Terra?¡±

    ¡°No. Back then, the world was under elven control, but I couldn¡¯t tell you what they called it. Anyway, an Integration always starts with a small number of portals that keep popping up randomly in the integrating world before disappearing after a couple of hours. So at first, the amount of people that made their way through to ¡®New Terra¡¯ was very small. Mostly military with the odd government mandated researcher, but of course plenty of random people also made their way through.

    ¡°That¡¯s the first month or so of the Integration, as far as Earth was concerned at least. Because during that time, the portals were only a one-way street, people could go to New Terra, but not back to Earth. But the people that made their way over to this side quickly made two major discoveries. First, that magic was real and that they had it. That is to say, they had their Awakening. Of course, they couldn¡¯t make heads or tails of what happened to them until they made their second discovery: Another sapient species on the same level as we are; the elves.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°OK, quick question.¡± Sam said. ¡°When you say elves, what kind of elves are we talking about? Tolkienesque elves? Santa-like? Or stereotypical pop-culture elves?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a whole section on the different races, so we¡¯re going to get to them, don¡¯t worry. But¡­ they¡¯re pretty much just like us besides a couple of cosmetic difference: Sharp tipped ears, taller on average, no hair on their body besides the eyebrows and head. Stuff like that.¡±

    ¡°Bo-ring. Whatever, keep going.¡±

    ¡°So at first we and the elves obviously couldn¡¯t understand each other and as a result there was some flare-up of violence but luckily there was death only on our side, otherwise the elves might have been much less willing to help us. They did help us, though. By forcefully installing the universal translator in the people they met when they figured out we didn¡¯t know how to do it ourselves, having never had access to magic before. Long story short, the elves then explained to us how magic works and what the hell was going on with the Integration. That was the first month for the people who passed the portal to New Terra.¡±

    ¡°Second month: the portals on Earth are becoming more frequent. Some portals on New Terra start opening up, allowing access back to Earth, but only to Terrans, unfortunately. Unfortunately, because Harots invade three and a half months after the Integration started. The same day that almost all the Taken to be returned during the Integration are returned.¡±

    ¡°Are both of those things connected?¡±

    ¡°The consensus seems to be so. It was the same thing during the other races¡¯ integrations. Remember how I said that the Integration also happening to all the other races? Well, the Harots¡¯ invasion and the Taken are also part of that equation. Only for all the other races, most of the Taken were returned only after the Integration was over. And those that didn¡¯t played a much more minor role in fighting back the Harots.

    ¡°But we Terrans¡­ We didn¡¯t have access to magic before the Integration, so not only did we not know what we were doing, but we also didn¡¯t have any high-level combatants, not to mention Rulers. And although we did manage to beat back the Harots by the end, by that time, it was too late. Earth¡¯s magic was too unstable, having suffered under the parasitizing bite of the invaders, and we were forced to abandon it. Relocated to New Terra. All those humans that made it through the war, at least.¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°And how many were they?¡±

    Sarah averted her eyes from his. ¡°The numbers aren¡¯t clear. But between two billion and three, that are speculated to have survived the war. Of those, only one point eight billion have managed to immigrate to New Terra by the time of Earth¡¯s destruction.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Jesus Christ¡­ a whole billion. That¡¯s a huge range of possibility. Why did so many of them not manage to get to New Terra?¡±

    ¡°Mainly¡­ because once the Integration was nearing its end, the portal between Earth and New Terra stabilized, which meant that it¡¯s location was fixed. A location that was far from ideal. Unfortunately, at the time we still didn¡¯t have any Rulers capable of changing it and couldn¡¯t use the other races¡¯ Rulers because Earth was still just outside of the Web.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ, that¡¯s a lot,¡± Sam said, feeling torn between the instinct of seeing what Sarah had just told him as a personal event that he had luckily missed. Or the desire to preserve his sanity and see it as a historical event that, while sad, shouldn¡¯t personally impact him. After all, it was currently a hundred years into the future. Every person he had ever known would have already been dead, with or without Earth¡¯s destruction. And Sam¡¯s Earth, as he knew it, would have also been destroyed as well, simply by the passage of a hundred years of irrevocable change.

    But of course he should care! It was his still his world, dammit! Three and a half billion years of existence! Twelve millennia of history! Those were his family and friends who were among the billions killed during the war. Dying in pain and horror, the likes of which Earth has never known. It was the end of every spatial aspect of human culture to have ever existed.

    ¡°Fuck¡­¡± he muttered after a minute of silence, which didn¡¯t help him digest what he had just heard at all. ¡°I¡¯m just now realizing what it means for fucking Earth to be destroyed. Fuck¡­ I feel like I¡¯ll have to read about this in my own time, later. But for now, we need to focus on the present, no? There¡¯s still a ton of stuff that I should know about before the day ends, right?¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you wouldn¡¯t like to take a couple of minutes to process all of this?¡± Sarah¡¯s look of concern probably came from a place of intimate familiarity.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± He sighed. ¡°Maybe. I¡¯ve finally drank enough to need to go to the toilet, anyway. So I¡¯ll go do that. Be right back.¡± Despite his words, his throat felt completely parched, so after finishing what remained of his glass in one gulp, he refilled it once more before head to the bathroom.

    After sitting down on the toilet, he tried to take deep breaths in order to calm himself. Peeing helped. After all, it always felt good to pee. Sure, he wasn¡¯t at the level of a full bladder like in that one Tyrion chapter that he always kept coming back to when his thoughts wandered to the wonderful sensation of that was reliving yourself. But, his first piss in this new world was still as palpable a relief as if he was filled to the bursting. The relief, he realized, was much more mental than physical.

    Back outside after cleaning up, Sam witnessed Sarah devouring a rather large sandwich in lighting quick bites. ¡°Slow down a little,¡± he said while sitting back down. ¡°You can take your time with that.¡± She nodded back at him, but didn¡¯t slow her pace at all. Soon enough, the last crumb of bread finished its journey inside her stomach. She was lucky that she was also a Taken, because that would surely require an antacid or two.

    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± she said. ¡°I barely ate anything the entire day.¡±

    ¡°I already told you, it¡¯s fine. Take your time. We have all night. Well, I have all night. I don¡¯t know about you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll need to go to sleep eventually. And so should you. But it¡¯s still early enough for now. So we can continue if you want to.¡±

    ¡°Like I said, I¡¯m here all night. And since it¡¯s not bingo night tonight, I have all the time in the world. Oh, one thing that I wanted to ask before I forget, what year did the Integration start?¡± Sam gave a sigh after hearing Sarah¡¯s answer. ¡°I see¡­ At least, it was probably far enough in the future for One Piece to have ended..¡±

    ¡°The comic?¡±

    Sam took a long pause. ¡°Yes. No use differentiating anymore, I guess.¡±

    ¡°I never read it, but a friend of mine did, and I think he mentioned something about the ending. Let me just look it up to be sure.¡±

    ¡°Should I surmise, based on yours and Maurice¡¯s, that phones are also the same despite the passing of time?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, more or less. Honestly, we¡¯re lucky in that respect; there isn¡¯t that much technological change that we need to get used to. In fact, Maurice had to get used to some stuff, having actually regressed. The destruction of Earth wasn¡¯t kind to¡ªAh! There we go. The hospital has its own separate Wi-Fi. Yeah, so One Piece finished it¡¯s run in¡ª¡±

    Sam stopped her before she could finish her sentence. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me! I don¡¯t want to know, even roughly, how many chapters I have left. It¡¯s just good to know that it managed to end in time. A small silver lining in the apocalypse as it were.¡±

    ¡°Do you want to look up any other famous series, or should we move on?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ Move on. There¡¯ll be plenty of time for that in the future. Oh wait! You said that the other races also had Taken, but something about them being different from ours?¡±

    ¡°Yes, most of theirs were returned after the Integration and the war with the Harots ended. The prevailing theory, for the reason behind it, goes that they had less of a need for the Taken¡¯s help during the war. So the forces that be decided to take children and young teenagers, who were at greater risk of dying during the war, in order to save them.¡±

    ¡°The forces that be? So we know who is behind it all?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly¡­ that¡¯s just a theory. We don¡¯t actually know anything about the Taken¡­ Although¡­¡±

    ¡°Although?¡±

    ¡°There is a rather¡­ common explanation¡ªsorry explanation isn¡¯t the right word, theory for the process of ¡®taking¡¯. The theory holds that the ones behind the Taken and their return are the Reshan.¡±

    ¡°The ¡®Reshan?¡¯ Is that another race?¡±

    ¡°In a way, although we don¡¯t actually know¡­ It¡¯s the name that, and you¡¯re going to hate me for saying this, the precursor civilization called itself in all of its ruins.¡±

    ¡°Precursors? Are you kidding me?¡±

    ¡°I know! I know how it sounds. But it¡¯s the best name for them. There are five, or rather six, races, including us, that we know of in the Web. Of us six, only the dwarves don¡¯t live on their homeworld and that¡¯s because they claim to have immigrated from north of the Web more than a millennium ago. But what¡¯s certain is that all six races came from a single world that was integrated into the Web and only spread to inhabit other worlds after that. But in some of those other¡ªup to their arrival¡ªuninhabited worlds, there were already ruins of a different, completely alien civilization. A civilization much more advanced than ours, so that much of what we know of magic, and many of the artifacts that we use, came from them. Some of those artifacts, we still don¡¯t know how exactly they work, like the¡ª¡°

    ¡°Don¡¯t say it.¡±

    ¡°universal translator¡­¡±

    ¡°Goddammit, you just had to say it¡­ This sucks. I hate this timeline.¡±

 Chapter 11

    ¡°It¡¯s the same timeline,¡± Sarah said. ¡°But like I said, it¡¯s a just a theory. And I didn¡¯t say that I whole-heartedly agree with it, only that it¡¯s the most popular one. And it¡¯s not like it¡¯s something that most people in the Web believe in. Most people don¡¯t care about the reasoning for the Taken. They see us as just a natural phenomenon, an extension of integration.¡±

    ¡°So why is the Reshan theory the most popular among those who do believe there¡¯s something behind us?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Because, if you buy into that theory, the reason the Reshan left all those ruins for us to explore was to help us, the newly integrated races, develop faster, or something of that sort at least. So all the artifacts, patterns, lessons on magic. They were all intended to help us get where we are now.¡±

    ¡°And by applying that same logic to the Taken, you find out the reason for the difference between us and the other races?¡±

    ¡°Exactly. We needed the help in combat of all those Taken simply in order to survive. But the other races didn¡¯t, so the Reshan were free to mostly take younger people and return them in to a safer environment where they had a greater chance to flourish and help advance the civilization further.¡±

    ¡°OK, but why put all of this at the feet of an ancient long gone civilization? Aren¡¯t any other possible explanation for¡­¡± He gestured at himself. ¡°Us?¡±

    ¡°Yes, there are. It¡¯s just that the Reshan theory is the one most commonly held. But in the end, it, just like all the others, is an unproven theory. Look, there are really only two major problems that every theory about the Taken has to explain, right? The first one is that it seems that there is not only an intelligent but also a benevolent mind behind the process. The second problem is the complexity of the magic. Even the Chosen have no idea how the process works.

    ¡°So the Reshan theory works perfectly for the first problem, right? At least if we buy into the whole shtick about them being a guiding force for us ¡®nascent civilizations.¡¯ Something that I¡¯m not so sure about, by the way. And the Reshan being so much more advanced than us, also provides us with a plausible solution to the second problem. Although¡­ if we¡¯re already on this topic, there is another theory, which provides the best explanation for the second problem. Not so for the first, at least if we don¡¯t want to accept any far-reaching implications about the world we live in.¡±

    ¡°Oh oh¡­ I think I can guess what the explanation is,¡± Sam said. ¡°Is it that the ¡®Web¡¯ thing, universe, is sentient? It chooses which worlds to integrate and then does the whole Taken business to help those worlds along?¡±

    ¡°Exactly. ¡®If the Taken are a constant in every integration there ever was, so why can¡¯t the force behind the integrations also be behind the Taken?¡¯ This is like I said, what most people believe in. Only they think that there isn¡¯t anything conscious about the phenomenon, that the integrations and the Taken are just a natural process of the Web. And that the difference between us Terrans and the other races can be explained by other, non-intentional means. Otherwise, if you hold on to the believe that the Web is both behind the Taken and that the Taken were chosen intelligently, you also have to conclude that the Web is sentient enough to do those sorts of things.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s the sort of things that only hippies will believe in¡­¡± Sam nodded. ¡°Oh well, whatever. It¡¯s not like anyone here isn¡¯t familiar with struggling with the meaning of existence. And this is just the same question with just a little esoteric twist.¡±

    ¡°Want to move on?¡±

    ¡°Yes please. But I¡¯m afraid that it¡¯s just to yet another thing that you can¡¯t give me the full answer to. The universal translator. You said that you don¡¯t know how it works, but it does work right?¡±

    ¡°Extremely well, but only as long as the language in question has been archived in the artifact. Remember how when we first met the elves, they had to forcefully install us with it? That wasn¡¯t only so we could understand them, but also so they could understand us. Once a person has traced through the artifact, it sort of catalogs their usage and knowledge of language across all other artifacts. So, for example, if someone else that didn¡¯t know English but had the artifact was speaking to you, they would be able to understand you perfectly, even if you wouldn¡¯t be able to understand them.¡±

    ¡°Even slang?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Acronyms?¡±

    ¡°Also.¡±

    ¡°Culture contextual names?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what that is.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s a real thing, but that¡¯s sounds like what I¡¯m thinking about. I meant stuff like ¡®Stockholm Syndrome.¡¯ Although there are probably people out there who know the term but don¡¯t know what Stockholm is. Was.¡±

    ¡°It depends: they might understand your meaning, if not the semantics behind it. You¡¯ll see when you get it. It¡¯s very intuitive and context dependent. Honestly, it¡¯s one of the last things I would worry about, no-one knows how they really work, but everyone uses them with any problems.¡±

    ¡°Damn¡­ Shouldn¡¯t have gotten my hopes up. Now I¡¯m gonna have to learn about different cultures and shit.¡±

    ¡°Only if you want to. You can still choose to stay ignorant. At least ignorance borne out of laziness is a million times better than one borne out of racism.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right! I can. Why bother learning about other races¡¯ culture? It¡¯s not like they made masterpieces that can equal some of ours. Which reminds me, is The Bold and the Beautiful still on TV?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what that is.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. Wait! When you said ¡®racist,¡¯ who is the actual subject of our prejudices? Other species? Only we call those other intelligent species ¡®races¡¯ because of fantasy conventions? And if so, what does that mean for good old-fashioned racism?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s still there, like every other old-world form of prejudice, unfortunately. Although it lessened enough to not be a major talking point for any politician, so that¡¯s nice. And yes, racism is now used in the context of the other ¡®species,¡¯ as you¡¯re familiar with the term. We call them races. I couldn¡¯t tell you why, though. Never bothered me enough to look it up.¡±

    ¡°Seems reasonable. Honestly, if it was a good enough distinction for Tolkien, then it¡¯s good enough for me. And I know what you¡¯re going to say: Tolkien was a linguist, not a biologist¡ªNo, never mind, it¡¯s too early to get into this discussion. Just give me the runaround on the races, will you? You said there are six? Or was it five?¡±

    ¡°Six or five, depending on whether you view Terran humans and Imperial humans as one race or not.¡±

    ¡°Imperial humans?¡±

    ¡°Yes, from the empire.¡±

    Sam squinted. These guys were really not trying that hard, were they? ¡°Please tell me that ¡®the empire¡¯ has an actual name. Otherwise, they can¡¯t keep getting away with it.¡±

    ¡°The Pyllan Empire, after their ruling dynasty. The empire is also where most of the dwarves¡ªthe only nationless race¡ªlives. Remember how I said they supposedly immigrated over to our side from the north?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, which won¡¯t make any sense to me until you show me a map of the Web, by the way. For now, though, these dwarves¡­ If you had to rank them based on their Scottishness from one to ten, where would you place them? One being a fourth generation Japanese-American sushi chef who speaks perfectly articulated English. And ten being Sean Connery explaining how to handle a woman when she steps out of line.¡±

    ¡°They might look like the fantasy dwarves you¡¯re familiar with, but they aren¡¯t caricatures. Here, there are pictures.¡± She passed him the binder.

    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

    As Sam flipped through the photos, he had to agree with her. They looked pretty similar to the popular fantasy depiction of a dwarf. Shorter than humans, but stockier and more heavily muscled than was possible for a human. Honestly, there was only one thing missing from the common trope. ¡°Where are all the beards?¡±

    ¡°They shave them religiously, although not for religious reasons per se. They consider beards taboo because they can be used against you in combat or lead to an accident while working in dangerous environments.¡±

    ¡°What?! How egregious! No beards? And what about the female dwarves?¡±

    ¡°They shave as well.¡±

    ¡°Balderdash,¡± Sam said in mock outrage. They better not have touched their horny helmets. The classics are classics for a reason, dammit! ¡°Anything else I should know about dwarves before we move on?¡±

    ¡°On average, they¡¯re a little less¡­ physically inclined to magic than their Imperial neighbors, which makes them more or less on par with us Terrans.¡±

    ¡°Physically inclined to magic?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ can we leave that off for later? When we talk about magic.¡±

    ¡°OK, I guess. So what about the Imperials? Is there any other difference between us and them? Seeing as we¡¯re both humans.¡±

    ¡°There isn¡¯t, just the pathways.¡±

    Sam chuckled, but didn¡¯t press the point. ¡°So, we¡¯re biologically compatible, then?¡±

    ¡°Are you asking if we can have sex with them?¡±

    ¡°No. You can have sex with anything. It¡¯s just a matter of enough will and consent. I was asking whether we can procreate with them.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we can. Us humans and the elves can interbreed. But the other races can only procreate with themselves.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ interesting. Is that because of external differences or internal ones?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°And is that because there¡¯s a general lack of available information or because you¡¯re a prude?¡±

    ¡°Moving on. The elves we already talked about. Biologically same as us with only slight cosmetic differences. Some political stuff that you should probably know about: They¡¯re basically our biggest ally; they gave us all three of the worlds that the republic rules. They¡¯re the second most culturally heterogeneous after us Terrans, but still pretty homogeneous by our standards. The ruling culture is the Sarechi, hence the name, The Kingdom of Sarechal. This is pretty boring, right? We should move on.¡±

    ¡°Not at all,¡± Sam said. ¡°Quite the opposite. But like I said, you¡¯re the boss. I could sit for a whole lecture about the power structure of their monarchy, but that¡¯s probably not the most efficient use of time right now.¡±

    ¡°OK. So one important thing to note: On average, they¡¯re better with magic than the Imperials, and about the same as another race, the deshars. Discounting us, the deshars own the least amount of worlds, and like us, they¡¯ve settled on each world. The deshars do actually have major biological difference to the other races. They live on average 50% longer than us, meaning humans, dwarves, and elves. With the ¡®downside¡¯ that they only begin going through puberty at twenty-years-old and that their gestation period is twice as long.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Gestation period? Really? Why is that important?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a pretty basic fact. Intellectually, the deshars are just the same as us humans. Can you imagine not knowing how long a human is pregnant for before giving birth?¡±

    ¡°I guess not. But you would sound a lot more convincing if you weren¡¯t reading straight out of the binder.¡±

    Sarah blushed and pulled the binder closer. ¡°So, one last thing to note is that just like us, their entry into puberty marks the average age in which a deshar will have their Awakening. Add in the fact that they develop somewhat slower than us and you might find the explanation for why their thirty is our eighteen. As in being a legal adult.

    ¡°Back to politics: their nation is called¡ªliteral translation¡ªthe Harmonic Accord. I won¡¯t even try the native pronunciation. Although, our definition of a nation is, supposedly, not accurate when it comes to the deshar. They don¡¯t see themselves as living in a nation called the ¡®Harmonic Accord¡¯. Rather, they live by the Harmonic Accord. It is a way of life which all deshar ascribe to.¡±

    ¡°So they¡¯re religious fundies?¡±

    Sarah smiled. ¡°You would think so. Especially with ¡®The Council for Spiritual and Moral Direction¡¯ being their ruling body. But, apparently, they¡¯re actually really nice about their whole spirituality business. Deshars that wish to leave to Accord, be it the national definition or the religious one, are free to do so without prejudice. And return just the same. They have distinct differences between legal and spiritual laws and breaking the second carries with it no formal punishment what so ever. Of course, there¡¯s the question of whether¡ªNever mind, we¡¯re veering off topic again. You¡¯ll have plenty of time to learn about the deshars before you meet any. Probably. So here is what they look like.¡±

    She handed him the binder once again, and Sam started flipping through the photos. They looked humanoid enough, although taller, leaner, and with longer limbs than humans. The head was where Sam saw most of the difference. Narrow cat-like eyes (at least Sam thought they were cat-like, he wouldn¡¯t actually know, not being an eye doctor) and long droopy ears. They had different skin color as well, alien to what was normal in humans, but they lacked in variety because as far as Sam was concerned, they were all different shades of blue. ¡°What¡¯s going on with their eyebrows?¡± he asked Sarah after a fixating on them for a tad too long without figuring the answer out.

    ¡°They¡¯re made of bone. Yes, bone. Or some form of bone, at least. It¡¯s closer to a bone that it is to nails, that I can tell you for certain. Also, they are completely bald; in fact, they don¡¯t have body hair at all. But you didn¡¯t see any picture of them with a clean pate, right?¡±

    ¡°Nope. Is that a religious custom? Did they take the yarmulke to the next level?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not actually sure whether it¡¯s religious, cultural, or both. But yeah, they take their headwear very seriously. They receive their first one on their entry into adulthood, thirty, remember? They receive two more as they grow older, but there¡¯s also ¡®special dispensations¡¯ that I have no idea how they actually work. Except for making Ruler, all their Rulers wear the same headdress, that much I know.¡±

    ¡°So if I see a bald deshar, then they¡¯re under thirty?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ or dead. Or ostracized from the community. Or maybe they just don¡¯t submit to the societal norms. But that¡¯s not important right now.

    ¡°If you say so¡­ OK, so we¡¯ve been over five. That only leaves one, right? Let me guess what it¡¯ll be¡­ orcs. No wait, lizard people. Or cat people! No, I¡¯m going to go with orcs after all¡­ Sentient trees?¡±

    Sarah scowled in response, but it was short-lived. ¡°I hate to say this, because it¡¯s doing them a giant disservice and is incredibly rude. But the ningani are frequently referred to as lizard-like. But, it¡¯d be like referring to us humans or elves as ape-like. Take a look.¡±

    The ningani did have a striking similarity with what Sam would¡¯ve considered the stereotypical media depiction of lizard-folk to look like, or at the very least to how Sam would¡¯ve imagined them. But they still appeared very humanoid. Only a little shorter in stature than humans. And with an even straighter posture, supported (or was it hindered?) by their wide at the base tails. They actually did come in all colors, though, from absurdly pink scales, to dim void-black, all the way to the classic shining gold ones.

    Sam handed Sarah the binder back. ¡°So what¡¯s the deal with them?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re the least populous race in the Web, only about forty million people. Despite that, they are also considered the strongest race. That¡¯s mainly due to two major advantages: They live, on average, twice as long as humans. And, they¡¯re the race most¡­ suited for magic, again physically wise.¡±

    ¡°Best pathways?¡±

    ¡°On average.¡± Sarah grimaced. She didn¡¯t seem to appreciate Sam picking up on her word slip.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. You¡¯ll explain it to me later. But what about their gestation period?¡±

    ¡°Stop teasing me. I was just reading from the binder before.¡±

    ¡°And does the binder not share that information about the ningani?¡±

    ¡°Do you really care?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m intrigued, at the very least. Don¡¯t forget, you¡¯re the one that convinced me of the importance behind that sort of information.¡±

    Sarah sighed. ¡°OK¡­ let¡¯s go over this quickly, and no questions because it¡¯s very complicated and we have a lot of other ground to cover.¡± She looked at him expectantly and Sam mimicked locking his lips. ¡°Gestation period inside the egg is about a year, so far so good. Where the trouble starts is with nigana adulthood, or rather childhood. They spend the first sixteen years of their life as our approximation of a newborn, both in size and mind. Then, they slowly begin growing over the next couple of years, but still only physically. Intellectually, they only start developing at twenty-four, where they also start undergoing rapid physical growth. They have no concept of puberty like us, but their awakening is around thirty-years-old with much greater room for variance than all other races. Forty is their age of adulthood, although there¡¯s variance as well, and the concept is somewhat different from ours. That¡¯s the short of it, any questions?¡±

    ¡°No really. Sounds really complicated, though.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°I told you. But you don¡¯t need to worry about the ningani all that much, chances are very low that you¡¯ll meet one anytime soon. Like I said, there¡¯s only forty million of them alive and despite ruling the largest number of worlds, most of them live on their homeworld. They also technically don¡¯t have a ¡®nation¡¯, being part of separate clans. But, for all intents and purposes, you can view the union of their clans, the Caravanserai, as their version of one. And again, I¡¯m translating. Oh! Speaking of translating, this is really important; Once you¡¯ll get your translator, you¡¯ll notice that ningani literally means humans in their language. So make sure to always say ningani when talking about or with them to not create confusion.¡±

    ¡°Why are they called humans, then?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what they called themselves, or at least that¡¯s how it¡¯s translated. But because they¡¯re so different from the Imperials, and now also us, everyone calls them by their native name.¡±

    ¡°So native word for elf, in elvish, sorry in Sarechi, means elf?¡±

    ¡°Yes, and so does deshar. Although, that one is obviously not translated.¡±

    Sam sighed and stretched in his chair. ¡°OK, that¡¯s a lot of knowledge so far. What¡¯s next?¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want to take a break or maybe stop for today?¡±

    ¡°Of course not! I¡¯m still perfectly cognizant. C¡¯mon, what¡¯s next?¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ there¡¯s still two major subjects that I wanted to cover. At least the first one is really important, in my opinion, for you to know about. And that¡¯s the war.¡±

 Chapter 12

    ¡°War¡¯s cool,¡± Sam said. ¡°Conceptually I mean. Like I would much rather read about a fantasy setting that has a war going on than one without one. Of course, living in one is the exact opposite¡­ So the war?¡±

    ¡°First, like you said, stuff would probably make a lot more sense to you if you had a map to look like. So here you go.¡± She smiled and handed him the binder open to an image which was appropriately titled Map of the Known Web.

    The known Web consisted of more than a hundred different worlds (at least that was Sam¡¯s rough approximation since they weren¡¯t numbered) but only a few were named. The borders, though, were clearly marked so that every world was claimed under one of five uniquely colored spheres. He quickly found the area claimed by the Terran Republic (in green, thank god) at the bottom right of the map. Or in the south-east, since the four cardinal directions were still present, as evidenced by the designation given to the westernmost, southernmost and easternmost worlds.

    The area under New Terra¡¯s purview included only itself and the two neighboring worlds, Gehelis to the west and Centauri to the east. Every pathway leading from those two led to worlds controlled by the Kingdom of Sarechal, whose area of influence continued until it met the Harmonic Accord in the east and the Pyllan Empire in the south. Like Sarah said, the Accord controlled only a few worlds, with most of them bordering the edge of the filled map, simply marked as The Front. The empire¡¯s borders continued to stretch west from its meeting point with the elven kingdom until the southwest, where it met with the Caravanserai. The ningana borders were indeed the largest, and they even continued north past the point where all was known in its eastern counterpart, until they too ended at The Front.

    ¡°Huh,¡± Sam said after a couple of minutes of gazing at the map.

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°Honestly? This sort of reminds me of a video-game approximation of what a galaxy would look like. You even have the galactic core or whatever, although it isn¡¯t usually that big.¡± He pointed to the worldless hole in the middle of the map, which gave the Web a very unfortunate donut shape.

    ¡°That, is called Empty Plain. It¡¯s a mystery unto itself and I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t know much about it, only the important bit. Which is that it prevents passage through it and thus from the worlds on its borders and out to the other side. Essentially providing us with an impenetrable well and funneling the enemy to the edges of the Web, where the front is.¡±

    ¡°And is it the same enemy on both fronts?¡±

    ¡°Yes, they¡¯re called the Epiraks.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re fucked.¡±

    ¡°What? Why?¡±

    ¡°Why? Because you¡¯re surrounded by the same enemy. Are you attacking or defending?¡±

    ¡°Defending.¡±

    ¡°Then you¡¯re definitely fucked.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the exact opposite. It¡¯s easier to defend than to attack.¡±

    Sam nodded with sage wisdom that he definitely didn¡¯t have. ¡°In real life, maybe, but this is fantasy, remember.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t really believe that¡­ right?¡± Sarah asked, eyes boring into him.

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Like I said, the reality of this existence is still up for debate. I¡¯ve been confronted with it for not even a day after all.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ but we¡¯ll talk about this tomorrow if you still have your doubts. And every day after that, if necessary.¡± She paused after that, deep in contemplation apparently. Sam had to nudge her out of her own head.

    ¡°The war?¡± he reminded her.

    ¡°Oh, right. So the war actually started about two-hundred-fifty years ago. And for the first two hundred years, there was only the western front. At first, in was only the ningani fighting against the Epiraks, but the empire joined in after a couple of decades, when their threat became apparent. Eventually, after the elves and Imperials finalized their peace treaty, the elves also started sending help, although only in the form of high-level squads and a dozen or so Rulers.¡±

    ¡°What about us? Once we joined the picture.¡±

    ¡°We wanted to provide them with our weapons and other advanced technologies, those that proved useful in fighting against the Harots at least, but we were rejected by the Imperials and ningani both. Any actual help then, was given in the form of unofficial volunteers, same as the deshars did. Unfortunately, fifty years ago, the Epiraks opened up the front in the east. Which dragged us, the deshars and the elves, fully into the war. Nowadays, the war is mostly stable; we three take care of the east, the Imperials and ningani of the west. As of the last major development ten years ago, the front is static.¡±

    ¡°And why not take the attack to them?¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t,¡± she said and pointed at the northern edge of the deshar border. ¡°All these worlds, the unknown ones north of where the front stretches, are barren-worlds. So completely devoid of life and magic that only Rulers can pass through them unharmed. Even a level 10 would only be able to survive on them for a couple of minutes at most.

    ¡°So how¡¯d the Epiraks get here then?¡±

    ¡°They have vessels called holdworlds, which function like a spaceship, would be the most basic explanation for these are. Although that instead of traveling through space, they ¡®travel¡¯ through the void between worlds. Except they don¡¯t really travel because they still need to make use of the portals. Our main problem with them is that they aren¡¯t physically in the world, rather, they occupy the space outside of it, in the void. So that¡¯s why they are able to bypass the poisonous environment of the barren worlds. Also, care to guess where the holdworlds came from? Clue, it¡¯s the reason why I don¡¯t believe a theory that we had just talked about.¡±

    ¡°The Reshan?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Yep, well done. Kind of hard to see the Reshan as anything resembling benevolent, when they¡¯ve armed our enemy with its most useful weapon. But, back to your question. Every time we managed to push the Epiraks out of the front-worlds, they quickly regrouped and focused their counterattack on only a single world. So, because it¡¯s less costly in resources and lives, and far safer simply to defend the portals themselves inside the front-worlds rather than the worlds at large, static defense is the name of the game.¡±

    ¡°This doesn¡¯t make any sense. Why would it be easier to fight them after they¡¯ve already established a beachhead? You always contest a naval landing if you can.¡±

    ¡°Yes, if you know where the enemy is landing. But if you got a hundred kilometers wide beach that eventually ends in a kilometer wide choke point, and you don¡¯t know where the enemy is coming from, then you defend the choke point. That¡¯s the strategy we had to adopt because of the holdworlds. Using them, they can open a portal to any point that they want. Changing their landing at will. So, if we want to prevent them from landing at all, we have to defend the entire world.¡±

    ¡°Which you don¡¯t. In actuality, you¡¯re only defending¡­ only the portals? What¡¯s the difference between your portals and theirs?¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ I don¡¯t want to get into this too deep, so I¡¯ll just give you the rough overview of how portals work. The worlds are connected to each other by portal lanes, those are the all the lines you see going between worlds on the map. Basically, the fundamental part that makes the Web, the Web. To actually use these portal lanes, you need a portal, a fixed point on both worlds that connect each of them to each other. So far, so good?¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°I think so.¡±

    ¡°Alright, so that¡¯s where the strategy comes in: Rulers. Rulers can do two very important things for our discussion. First, they can, provided there¡¯s two of them¡ªone for each portal¡ªchange the portals¡¯ characteristics; their location in the world, or size, for example. And second, Rulers can sidestep the exit portal, meaning the portal on the world they wish to get to. That means that if an Epirak Ruler steps through the portal on a barren world, they can appear at any place they want in the front-worlds. The problem is that the holdworlds can function as a Ruler in that aspect. Meaning that they can appear on any point in a front-world, provided they control the portal in a barren world.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­ So because you can¡¯t control the barren-worlds¡¯ portals, there isn¡¯t anything to gain from an offensive.¡±

    ¡°An offensive in the eastern front. Yes.¡±

    ¡°Just an eastern offensive? The western front is different, then? They don¡¯t have barren worlds?¡±

    Sarah grimaced. ¡°They don¡¯t. But remember how I mentioned that as of the last major development in the war, ten years ago, it¡¯s been stable? Yeah, that last major development was a western offensive. This map is twenty years old, by the way, so make of that what you will.¡±

    ¡°Yikes¡­ And yet, when I said that you guys are fucked, you told me I was wrong. Doesn¡¯t sound like VW day is right around the corner.¡±

    ¡°Not losing is a form of victory as well, no? Getting to live and avoid being slaughtered is the ultimate triumph in the face of pure evil.¡±

    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    ¡°Oh shit, slaughtered? Like everyone? That sounds pretty bad.¡±

    ¡°Like I said, the Epiraks are capital E evil. Slaughter is what happened to all the people, all living beings actually, who were left behind on worlds that fell to the Epiraks.¡±

    ¡°So what the fuck are these Epiraks? Are they orcs? Is this another cliche just in a disguise?¡±

    ¡°There aren¡¯t any orcs in the Web. In fact, the Epiraks aren¡¯t even a different race. It¡¯s just the name they¡¯ve given themselves.¡±

    ¡°So what are they? Humans?¡±

    ¡°What? No! Well, not exactly. They¡¯re more like a¡­ faction of different races.¡±

    ¡°I would like to receive the explanation in a simple and concise matter. Nothing like that whole portal business.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, so would we. We don¡¯t actually know what the Epiraks are or where they came from.¡±

    ¡°From the north I¡¯d guess?¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Fair enough. The little that we do know, or at the very least that I know, about the Epiraks is that they can somehow assimilate the people they capture alive. And we also don¡¯t know how the actual process works. Again, we¡¯re just going by explanation that the Epiraks themselves have given us¡­ And by eyewitness testimony of those unfortunate enough to see the people they knew assimilated.¡±

    ¡°Assimilated into what? Are they like a hive mind?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly. So there are two kinds of Epiraks, those that have maintained their intelligence, although not their identity, and those that didn¡¯t. The former are called Martyrs, and they¡¯re basically their equivalent of our individuals. The latter, those who act without intelligence, are called Brutes. And they sort of are part of a hive mind.¡±

    ¡°Brutes, really?¡± Sam raised an eyebrow, but Sarah just shrugged in response. ¡°Don¡¯t try to avoid responsibility. And it¡¯s not like Martyrs are any better.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re the ones that named themselves that. The Martyrs did, I mean, those that can actually speak. Although, if it makes you feel any better, we Terrans sort of popularized calling them Martys.¡±

    ¡°It does actually. So that¡¯s the war, then?¡±

    ¡°The short overview of it. Really short.¡±

    Sam leaned back and let out a breath. ¡°And where do I come into the picture?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s up to you¡­¡±

    ¡°Is it though? Is it really? Defeat in the war means complete annihilation. Don¡¯t you guys need every available body at the front?¡±

    ¡°Fortunately, the situation isn¡¯t that dire. Not to mention that bodies alone won¡¯t help us in the fight with the Epiraks. No amount of level 3 conscripts will equal just the one Ruler.¡±

    ¡°So who you really need are those Terrans more magically inclined, whatever that means. Those with the largest potential, to apply themselves and join up with the service today. Presumably, people like me, right?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to try and convince you one way or the other.¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Nope. I had six years in which to ponder whether I want to join the military. Just because you¡¯re ten years older than I was doesn¡¯t mean that you don¡¯t deserve some time for contemplation as well.¡±

    ¡°And what do you really think?¡±

    ¡°That is what I really think.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon, cut the bullshit. You just said that you¡¯ve been where I am eight years ago. Obviously, you came to a certain decision. Obviously, you¡¯d think that I should make the same one.¡±

    ¡°I think that you¡¯ve had your life stolen from you and that you should do with your new life, whatever it is that you want.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what I want: I want to be a superhero just like you said. But without having to become one. Without the pain and hurt that goes with it. Fuck, look at us: we¡¯ve been fucking kidnapped to a fantasy world; a pretty classic trope for a hero¡¯s journey kind of story. And I don¡¯t know about you, but I fucking want to see myself as the hero or protagonist in this story. But there¡¯s no way that I¡¯m going to end up as one, right? Maybe, maybe I¡¯ll be able to become strong enough to save a couple of people¡¯s lives, and that¡¯s doubtful. But that¡¯s as far as my exploits will reach.¡±

    ¡°So you don¡¯t want to be a soldier, then?¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon. Look at me. Do I look like fighting material?¡±

    Sarah made a show of looking him up and down. ¡°You look fine to me.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, outside maybe, physically. And that¡¯s new just as of today, by the way. But inside, I¡¯m a mess. There¡¯s no way I¡¯m mentally fit for war.¡±

    ¡°How would you know? Were you ever in one?¡±

    ¡°No. But I know how much the prospect of moving out made me scared and anxious. Now imagine me laying in a barracks, somewhere, trying to sleep before a great battle.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you would be sacred. Sure, you¡¯d have trouble sleeping. So what? You think I wasn¡¯t scared to move out and in here? You think that the night before my first battle won¡¯t be a sleepless one? I assure you, you¡¯re handling today way better than I, or anyone that I know, did and if that doesn¡¯t mean that you have enough mental fortitude to be a soldier, then I can think of plenty of soldiers that aren¡¯t fit for the role. Think about this, so many of our kind¡ªTaken of all walks of life and mental dispositions¡ªhave been able to rise to the occasion. There¡¯s no reason that you wouldn¡¯t as well if that¡¯s what you wanted. Why would you think otherwise?¡±

    ¡°Age-worn lack of self-confidence? My pessimism about my myself and future prospects that goes against my view about humans in general? Drawing conclusions based on past behaviors and events? Take your pick. And who says that being a Taken is a blank check guarantee for being someone worthwhile? After all, we don¡¯t know what¡¯s actually behind the Taken, right? And even if it¡¯s ancient aliens, or the world itself, those things aren¡¯t god. They make mistakes. Fuckups happen. I mean, couldn¡¯t the fact that I¡¯m an aberration with my age mean that I was an accident?¡±

    ¡°And what about you being a Thread-Weaver?¡±

    ¡°That¡­ I don¡¯t fucking know. I don¡¯t even know what that actually means. I¡¯m just trying to run away from my responsibility.¡±

    Sarah squeezed his shoulder. ¡°You don¡¯t have any responsibility to be a solider. You don¡¯t own anything to anyone.¡±

    Sam laughed in self-derision. ¡°Don¡¯t I? I¡¯m pretty sure that I do. At least by the moral guidelines that I myself try to live by.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon, it¡¯s pretty obvious. You said it yourself: we can become superheros, and superheros have the responsibility to help other people.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and you said that just because you can become Superman doesn¡¯t mean that have to become one.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. But that¡¯s actually bullshit and only works in real life because you can¡¯t become Superman. I mean fuck, who am I kidding? I¡¯ve just been having Kant blaring at the back of my mind ever since we started the conversation. At it¡¯s pretty obvious what I should do going by his ethics.¡±

    ¡°That depends on how you read Kant, no?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve always been of the opinion that on most topics there¡¯s actually only one way to read Kant and anyone that tells you otherwise is just trying to sell you something because they want Kant¡¯s clout or they don¡¯t want to admit that they disagree with him. Wait, you also know Kant?¡±

    ¡°We do study philosophy here.¡±

    ¡°Really? Like how much? Because if it¡¯s more than I did, then I might have no ground on which to stand when I tell you stuff that you actually know better than me.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Not that much. Only four courses are mandatory.¡±

    ¡°Oh. So yeah, you know more than me.¡±

    ¡°I find it hard to believe. If only because I never practically applied anything that I learned, like you already did twice today.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but that¡¯s because you¡¯re a good person with a healthy state of mind. I¡¯m a piece of shit who¡¯s wrecked by guilt and indecision. I have no recourse but heed Aristotle¡¯s advice on how to be virtuous.¡±

    ¡°Which is?¡±

    ¡°Look at other people to tell you what to do.¡±

    ¡°Like Kant?¡±

    ¡°Like Kant.¡± Sam nodded.

    ¡°And what would Kant tell you to do, then? Why are you sure that he would force you to be a soldier?¡±

    ¡°I mean, you studied him as well, didn¡¯t you? It¡¯s pretty obvious, just going by the first categorical imperative.¡±

    ¡°Explain it to me like I¡¯m someone who didn¡¯t pay all that much attention in class and didn¡¯t care about what grade I got in the final exam.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ So, there¡¯s this¡­ fuck I forgot, I think that he calls it moral law but I¡¯m not sure. But basically, the way it goes is, and I¡¯m going to butcher it, by the way. The first categorical imperative is that you should only act in the way which you would want¡ªthat you would will¡ªto become a universal law of how people should always act. Like I said, I don¡¯t remember the exact formulation, but this gets the point across, right? And if you¡¯re reading from a particularly shitty translation, then my version might not seem so bad after all.

    ¡°So back to deriving a maxim from the imperative. Obviously, I would want to live in a world where everyone does their utmost to help the war effort. And that would mean that I myself have to do my utmost to help with the war effort. I have to become a solider, and train with magic, and all that other jazz that I don¡¯t actually know what it all entails. So yeah, the moral thing to do would be to join up with the military just like you did. Because that¡¯s what I would want other people in my position to do.¡±

    ¡°And what about the second categorical imperative?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°I thought that you didn¡¯t pay attention in class.¡±

    ¡°Not much. But you helped jog my memory. So what about it then? Don¡¯t treat other people as a means to an end, right?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t treat them only as a means to an end. And what about it?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ don¡¯t you think that you¡¯re treating yourself as simply a means to an end, ¡®helping the war effort?¡¯ What about your own humanity and individual desires?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I don¡¯t think the second imperative encompasses your own self as well. Besides, there¡¯s the whole bit of improving your talents that Kant harps about.¡± He hung his head low. ¡°But, you can¡¯t seriously tell me that you don¡¯t think that joining the military is the right thing to do. Because that¡¯s what you did. And we¡¯re both Taken. So if you joined, then I should join as well, right? By your act of joining, you¡¯re willing that I do so.¡±

    ¡°OK. But if that¡¯s your logic, then I joined after six years of living in this world. Which means that even were I subscribed to Kant¡¯s morals, I would still give you six whole years before you had to act in the same way that I did.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯ll probably be the same person once those six years pass, so there¡¯s no reason for me not to join up now. Besides, you waited six years because of legal limitations, I assume. Not because you were just taking the time off, enjoying yourself while people less¡­ gifted than you spent their lives at the front in order to defend you.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ you could always take the academy for a trial run.¡±

    ¡°A trial run?¡±

    ¡°Of course. You might be older than the cutoff for the academy, but you¡¯ll still be admitted in one-hundred percent. And enrolling in the academy doesn¡¯t mean automatically committing to join the military. You can quit anytime you want during the first year, and I¡¯m sure that in your case, the administration would be willing to prolong that period.¡±

    ¡°You sure about that?¡± Sam asked. Sarah nodded enthusiastically. ¡°And why do you seem so happy for me to join? You¡¯re the one that keeps trying to convince me that I don¡¯t have to be a soldier.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be a solider. But I think you would make for a great one, even if you don¡¯t. Besides, if you join the academy, that will mean that I could keep an eye out for you and that we could spend time together. Interacting with someone of my own time and age? Literally my greatest wish in the last eight years.¡±

    ¡°Yeah sure, but what you got is me. Sort of a monkey paw kind of deal.¡±

    ¡°Plus, I also think that the academy will be the best place for you to get acclimated. And not just because me and Maurice are here. But also because you¡¯ll pretty much have all of your needs met without trouble: your own room, good food, and the best place to learn about this world, particularly magic. And even if you decide that you don¡¯t want to pursue magic, you should at the very least know the basics, enough to get yourself a couple of levels and patterns. For your quality of life.¡±

    ¡°Well, you make a convincing argument.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Sure. Incidentally, it¡¯s the only one I heard so far. People kept telling me, including you, that I should and can do whatever I want to do in this life. But this is the first suggestion I heard so far on how to go about it. And, conveniently, it pushes the moral decision that I have to make to the future without any drawbacks that I can see. I enroll in the academy, prove to myself that I can¡¯t actually take this sort of environment, and then quit while suffering from only a medium amount of self-anguish and hatred.¡±

    ¡°Or, more likely, you find out that you¡¯re much more cut out to this environment that you think so, and end up thriving. Becoming the youngest Terran Ruler ever.¡±

    ¡°Sure, sure¡­ And how would you rate the chances that someone will finally explain to me what a Ruler is by then?¡±

 Chapter 13

    Sarah smiled. ¡°Pretty good I¡¯d say. But it all depends on you. Whether you still have enough energy for me to go over the last topic that I wanted to tell you about?¡±

    ¡°Is the last topic magic?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°It might be.¡±

    ¡°Cool, I¡¯m game. Is this the part where I can finally make fun of you for saying ¡®levels¡¯ like it¡¯s a video game?¡±

    ¡°Maurice told me he gave you the basic explanation of what levels were. Knowing that, what other name would you give them?¡±

    ¡°Good question. For starters, I¡¯ll change it from levels to ranks. Then, starting from rank zero, all the others ranks would have a cool name like tiger, or heron. Side note, I nominate the third rank to be called dragon, but only as long as no dragon actually appears during that rank.¡±

    ¡°How would that make it any better? Now, instead of simple numbers, you have meaningless titles that you have to translate back into numbers anyway. Also, there¡¯s no level zero.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m willing to concede to your first point, but not to the second.¡±

    ¡°Level zero doesn¡¯t make sense because it won¡¯t be half of level 1.¡±

    ¡°Second argument I¡¯ve heard today on the topic. I¡¯m not convinced. Someone who¡¯s been at level 2 for a long time is probably already past the point of being twice the whatever of level 1.¡±

    ¡°Core capacity.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°Core capacity. That¡¯s what the levels designate. Starting at level 1, every subsequent level has twice the capacity of the previous one.¡±

    ¡°Capacity for what?¡±

    ¡°Magic.¡±

    ¡°Right. Duh.¡± Sam palmed his forehead. ¡°So what the hell is magic, and why does it need to be stored?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t tell you that.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°Because magic is intuitive, you can¡¯t explain it, only experience it¡­ Like color!¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°And nothing.¡±

    Sam squinted his eyes and pursed his lips. ¡°C¡¯mon. Give it to me. I can take it. Does me being a Thread-Weaver mean that using magic will be very painful for me or something?¡±

    ¡°What?! Of course not. I don¡¯t actually know what being a Thread-Weaver entails, except that it has something to do with threads, which is also something that I know nothing about. But I¡¯m certain that it doesn¡¯t mean that using magic will hurt you. Magic doesn¡¯t work like that.¡±

    ¡°So how does it work?¡±

    ¡°I told you, it¡¯s intuitive, you can¡¯t explain it.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon¡­ there¡¯s no way that no one is out there trying to learn magic or understand it before they had their Awakening. Give it to me straight. Is there something wrong with me? Is my head going to explode if I try my hand at magic?¡±

    Sarah chuckled. ¡°Of course not. Don¡¯t be ridiculous. The only possible way for just magic to hurt the person using it doesn¡¯t apply to you because you¡¯re a Taken. But you¡¯re right¡­ There are people, mainly ningani and deshars, who, despite magic being intuitive and most people agreeing that it¡¯s useless to teach the practicals of it before a person had their Awakening, still try and learn about it beforehand.¡±

    ¡°So you really don¡¯t want me to teach me about what magic is in practice because you think it¡¯d be a waste of time?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much. You¡¯re going to get your magic in a couple of days at most. So it¡¯s no use beating your head against the wall when you already have a lot of other stuff need you need to learn about.¡±

    ¡°Like what? You just said that I shouldn¡¯t waste my time learning about magic.¡±

    ¡°Not all magic. Just magic in practice. The thing in itself, right?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know how this at all relates, but you have your terms on backwards. Experience can never reveal to us the thing in itself. You¡¯re taking about me not knowing about the perception of magic and interaction with it beforehand. But fine¡­ I get it. I¡¯ll just let you tell me what I need to know and not worry about it. So what can we learn about magic that isn¡¯t a waste of time currently?¡±

    ¡°Theory, of course. But just the most fundamental terminology. No reason to overload you with information, right?¡±

    ¡°Too late for that, I¡¯m afraid. This is like our fourth, I think, topic of exposition. And I pretty much started today with information overload already.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ then, should we stop for today? Pick it up tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare. Right now, the chances that I¡¯ll fall asleep tonight are pretty low. But if we end now, without me having even the basic knowledge of what, to you, is pretty much a natural law. Then I¡¯m for fucking certain not going to sleep tonight. Don¡¯t forget, you promised to tell me what Ruler is finally. After I had to spend the whole day hearing people mention the term without making fun of it even once!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s pretty admirable. Must¡¯ve been hard for you. So, Rulers: you need to be level 10 in order to become a Ruler. Is the concept of levels clear enough to you, or should we go over it again?¡±

    ¡°Nah, I think I got it. It basically measures the size of your core, right?¡±

    ¡°The capacity.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°None. Except that if you say size, people who care about using the ¡®correct technical term¡¯ will¡­ correct you.¡±

    ¡°Are you one of those people?¡±

    ¡°No. But plenty of the teachers here are. I¡¯m just prepping you. Anyway, so yeah, broadly a level is just a linear designation for how much magic you have, rounding downwards. The levels go from 1 to 10 and stop there. As in, there¡¯s no level eleven.¡±

    ¡°Instead you have Rulers?¡±

    ¡°Exactly. Only level 10s can become Rulers.¡±

    ¡°Why is that?¡±

    Sarah shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. I¡¯m only level 3. You know how far off that question is for me? You¡¯re only told this stuff once you get to level 8. But¡­ it¡¯s probably got something to do with threads, though.¡±

    ¡°Threads? The things that I¡­¡¯m named for? The magical equivalents of string theory?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. And don¡¯t ask me to tell you what they are cause I have no idea except that it¡¯s a very advanced high-level sort of information. Something about being a high enough level before you can see them and only then you can begin to study them. Except that Thread-Weavers can see them from the get go. And the only reason I think that becoming a Ruler has something to do with threads is that, supposedly, Thread-Weavers that reach level 10 have nothing blocking them from becoming Rulers like there is for regular people.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m guaranteed to become a Ruler?¡±

    ¡°If you reach level 10, yes. At least, that¡¯s the way I understand it.¡±

    ¡°So you, for example, aren¡¯t guaranteed to become a Ruler? Despite the both of us being Taken?¡±

    ¡°I will become a Ruler. It¡¯s just a question of how much time it would take me after I reach level 10. Us being Taken doesn¡¯t have anything to do with becoming Rulers, just with our pathways, which are¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wait, before we move on. I wanted to ask, what actually is the difference between a Ruler and a level 10? Is it also about having twice the magic capacity, just in a different name?¡±

    ¡°No, at least I don¡¯t think so. The only thing that I actually know about Rulers is that they are able to externalize their magic.¡±

    ¡°So you don¡¯t know how to become one or what it even means to be one. Can¡¯t you just ask google?¡±

    ¡°This is confidential military information. You¡¯re not going to find it on google.¡±

    ¡°Sure, maybe not on google. But without google, how are you going to get to the War Thunder forums? Ask Jeeves?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what either of these things are.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. So if we can¡¯t ask the internet about the Ruler stuff, who can we ask?¡±

    ¡°Rulers, I suppose. Maybe level tens trying to become Rulers.¡± She shrugged her shoulders.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    ¡°Anyone you¡¯re familiar with? Or are they all already in bed at this hour?¡±

    ¡°There are only twenty-three Terran Rulers, and the only two who are currently not stationed at the front are not exactly at my beck and call.¡±

    Sam made a sour face. ¡°Twenty-three? That¡¯s the worst, or at very least second worst, number in the twenties. How many do the other races have?¡±

    ¡°Way more than us. The elves have about a hundred, I think.¡±

    Sam pursed his lips and sharply inhaled. ¡°Sound like if the elves picked a fight with us we¡¯d be in pretty dire straits.¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± Sarah said with a wave of her hand. ¡°We were always the weakest nation, if not race. If the elves wanted us gone, they wouldn¡¯t have helped us in the first place. And honestly? The amount of Rulers that we have isn¡¯t really that big of a strategic deficit. We had way more back in the years following the Integration and our numbers should more than double in the coming decades. Really, our biggest ¡®national¡¯ worry is not having even a single Chosen.¡±

    ¡°Right, Chosen¡­ You mentioned them already, no? So what are they?¡±

    ¡°No fucking clue. Compared to my knowledge about Chosen, my knowledge about Rulers is overflowing. They¡¯re just stronger than Rulers, that¡¯s all I know.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I figured as such. But you do realize that it doesn¡¯t make any sense right? A Ruler is the guy at the top, the head honcho, the big cheese, the grandmaster, the sec¡ª¡±

    ¡°I get it.¡±

    ¡°Point is, per the name, a Ruler is the person in charge. I mean, if you asked me beforehand, I would have told you that Rulers are stronger because they are the ones choosing the Chosen.¡±

    ¡°Well they¡¯re not. Chosen are the strongest. And while I don¡¯t know why the Chosen are named so, I do know the basic explanation for the Rulers. Supposedly, in the pre-integration days of the other races, even the dwarves, they didn¡¯t have any Chosen. The strongest amongst them were Rulers and since they were far fewer in numbers, they usually ended in charge of whatever polity they found themselves in, hence: Rulers. The first Chosen only appeared after the races¡¯ integrations, but by that time, the name for Rulers had already stuck.¡±

    ¡°All¡­ five of them came up with the name Ruler for the same thing?¡±

    Sarah half sighed, half chuckled. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe only one race came up with the name, but then all the other races copied them. Like how we basically took every magical term from the elves. We can look it up, I guess. But this can¡¯t be that important to you, right? We¡¯ve still yet to go over those actual magical terms.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. One last question before we move on then. The elves have about a hundred Rulers, how many Chosen do they have then?¡±

    ¡°Only two. Same for the Imperials. The deshars have one and the ningani three.¡±

    ¡°So few, huh? Makes sense why you said that what we Terrans most lack is a Chosen then. Sounds like an extra one would make a pretty big difference war-wise.¡±

    ¡°Yep. So how about it? Should I put the two of us down for a bet on who will become the first Terran Chosen?¡±

    ¡°Nah, no way. That name¡¯s too inegalitarian for me (not that Ruler¡¯s much better). Although, I guess it depends on who chooses these great figures. Is it by a popular vote? A meritocracy? Sortition? Maybe if you¡¯re chosen based on how good you are with cats. Then I would have no problem nominating myself.

    ¡°Like I said, what I know about the Chosen, and how to become one, is even less than what I know about the Rulers.¡±

    ¡°Which is just that they can externalize their magic and maybe something to do with threads. So what does ¡®externalize their magic¡¯ mean? Or is the knowledge too practical for me to know?¡±

    Sarah shook her head. ¡°Conceptually, you might not get it until you can sense magic, but it¡¯s still considered theoretical knowledge. So, the act of using magic, moving it from place to place, is called tracing. And you can only trace through your own body, artifacts and other bodies, in that order of difficulty, meaning that the only thing you¡¯re certain to be able to trace through is yourself. The point concerning Rulers is: once the magic leaves any of those confines, it starts to dissipate. Rulers don¡¯t have that problem, they can maintain magic without being in direct contact with it, hence externalize. I don¡¯t know how, I don¡¯t know why, it¡¯s just the one thing that everyone knows they can do.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ and dare I ask what tracing is in more detail?¡±

    ¡°Nope. Let¡¯s move on. Remember, I was going to say something about us Taken before you, very rudely, interrupted me?¡±

    Sam scratched his chin. ¡°You¡¯re gonna have to give me something more. Every second sentence of mine has been to rudely interrupt you.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°OK, so what I wanted to say is that we Taken have perfect pathways. Explaining what the quality of pathways means isn¡¯t that important right now. Just note that when I talked about different races being more compatible with magic, I meant that, on average, they have better pathways. So what are pathways? They¡¯re the things connecting your core to your body. So technically, saying that you trace magic through your body is wrong because you can only trace magic through pathways. Which, come in two flavors: natural and artificial. Artificial pathways are what allows you to trace through artifacts, for example. Artificial pathways are also the most basic form of patterns, there is, since every pattern functions as one.¡±

    ¡°And what are patterns? Spells?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly. Imagine tracing as an electrical current that you can control. By moving it in a certain way, you can cause it to turn on a light bulb. In this metaphor, patterns are an electrical circuit. Instead of you having to direct the current all the way yourself, you just send it into the circuit and it lights up the bulb on its own.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ tracing is basically spell-casting on the go and patterns are spells that were written down beforehand?¡±

    ¡°Sure. Just¡­ don¡¯t use the word spell in a professional context, alright? The word is a unique to us Terrans, so the other races won¡¯t understand what you mean by it. And many Terrans don¡¯t like it because it makes us seem¡­ unempirical about magic.¡±

    Sam let out a small laugh. ¡°I gotta say, that¡¯s pretty fucking great. Magic is real, but you can¡¯t talk about it in a certain way because it¡¯s unscientific. That¡¯s really precious. Anything else I should know about? Cause I still have a bunch more questions, but if you say that it¡¯s too hard for me to grasp the answer yet, then never mind.¡±

    ¡°Last two terms.¡± Sarah held up her fingers. ¡°First, is gathering, or interchangeably cultivating. The process by which we gather magic into the core and increase its capacity. The second one is imprinting, how we make patterns, obviously. So, for example, I got here so late because I was in the middle of imprinting a very important pattern, and if stopped midway, I¡¯d have had to redo some of my preparation.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a lot of knowledge that I don¡¯t have any frame of reference to.¡± Sam sighed. ¡°Is that it, then?¡±

    ¡°For the basics of magic, yes.¡±

    ¡°Good. So, now we only need to hope that I¡¯ll manage to retain everything you¡¯ve told me about today.¡±

    ¡°If you forget anything, I¡¯ll be there to remind you.¡±

    ¡°If I join the academy, you mean.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure. But even if you won¡¯t, we could still talk on the phone, right? Provided you¡¯ll stay on New Terra. Why, are you reconsidering joining?¡±

    ¡°No, I already said that I have no other alternative right now. Besides, it¡¯s like you said, what better place to learn about the differences between this world and ours, right? Well, except any old regular high school, I guess, or even elementary school, right?¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily. The academy teaches magic as though you have a theoretical zero amount of knowledge on the subject. Which is impossible considering the acceptance requirements, but still. It¡¯s like you said how magic is basically equivalent to a law of nature, right? Well, most people know about gravity, but how many people actually know about Newton¡¯s law of gravity until they study it at university? Mostly only those that studied physics in high school, so the university has to make sure to start teaching everything from zero.

    ¡°The same goes for everything that I told you about, not just magic. Everything that we talked about, people learn by osmosis before they¡¯re taught about it at school, if they¡¯re even taught all of it. So even if you knew all this stuff beforehand, you¡¯ll still have to learn about it again after joining the academy.¡±

    ¡°Good argument,¡± Sam said. ¡°But it doesn¡¯t work on me. I had the misfortune of having to study some math in uni. If I hadn¡¯t already studied high level math in high school, then I would have been hopelessly lost after the first two weeks. Well, I was hopelessly lost anyway¡­ It¡¯s just that I would have been even more so.¡±

    ¡°Did you have the entire resources of your university and its teaching staff dedicated to helping you with your maths?¡±

    ¡°No?¡±

    ¡°Then don¡¯t draw any comparison. I¡¯m ¡®only¡¯ a Taken, but I¡¯ve gotten plenty of personal attention and help sent my way, even without requesting any. I¡¯m pretty sure that in your case, the academy will make available to you plenty of private tutors and instructors, so you¡¯ll have no problem catching up with the rest of us.¡±

    ¡°If you say so¡­ My guess? I¡¯m going to drop out after the first month once I discover that trying to catch up is way too hard for me.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see¡­¡± Sarah smiled, completely confident in her misplacing of the same notion onto Sam. She stretched back in the chair, spreading her arms up before looking outside. ¡°Wow, it¡¯s gotten really late, huh?¡±

    ¡°You tell me. I don¡¯t have a watch and it¡¯s not like I can tell the time by looking up anymore.¡±

    ¡°You still can. The skies might not be the same, but they¡¯re still accurate.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ maybe. I don¡¯t know¡­ I¡¯ll have to have a deep think on the subject¡­ So Plato tells us that in order for something to be true, our belief in it must be justified. But does our belief count as justified if we¡¯re basing it on an objectively false item? This, of course, results in a most disgusting mash up of ontology and epi¡ªSo what time is it?¡±

    ¡°Almost an hour to midnight.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, yeah, that¡¯s one hour to bedtime for me.¡±

    ¡°Plus, you got to wake up early tomorrow morning. You have a full day of tests awaiting you.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ yet another reason for me to not be able to fall asleep tonight. What about you? Shouldn¡¯t you be sleeping as well? Don¡¯t you get up every day at four to stand at parade?¡±

    ¡°No, nothing of the sorts. Why? Is this you subtly trying to tell me that we should end it here for today?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. Once you get to know me, just round about the time when you begin to lose the last vestiges of hope that you still had for me, you¡¯ll also find out that I don¡¯t do subtle. Not because of lack of will mind you, just a total lack of the social graces required to act with anything resembling tact.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯d be fine even if we kept going for a couple more hours?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Up to you. Why, any more basic items of expositions that we should go over?¡±

    ¡°Nothing that you won¡¯t be fine with learning about tomorrow or the day after that. But if there¡¯s anything that you still want to ask, go ahead.¡±

    ¡°OK, here¡¯s one question: Are you sure that you wouldn¡¯t rather go to sleep already instead of spending any more time with me? Didn¡¯t you say that you¡¯ve had a long day? And while I don¡¯t know anything about imprinting, if it takes weeks to prepare for it, then it can¡¯t be easy.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I can go one day without sleeping.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t doubt it. But there¡¯s a difference between what you can do and what you want to do, right?¡±

    ¡°What I want to do, is to stay here with you, talking, until you tell me to go away.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s sick. Why would you wish such a thing on yourself?¡±

    Sarah smiled. ¡°Today¡¯s the first time in eight years that I heard someone mention Britain. I don¡¯t think you realize just how much fun I had talking with you today.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ And hearing you say that is starting to make me very worried for your state of mind and warped personality. C¡¯mon¡­ serious now. If we have nothing else important to talk about, then there¡¯s no reason why you have to keep me company instead of sleeping and recouping from the day you had.¡±

    ¡°And will you be sleeping and recouping as well? If you¡¯re just going to have a sleepless night, then I would rather be here with you instead of leaving you alone to suffer all on your own.¡±

    ¡°Nah, I can¡¯t abide by that. I¡¯m no utilitarian, but this is a pretty simple case of doubling the total of suffering for no reason. If I can¡¯t sleep, then there¡¯s no reason for you to share in my suffering with me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not the point¡ª¡±

    ¡°Sure, but I¡¯m making it the point. Look, Sarah, I¡¯ll be fine, I promise. Matter of fact, even if I won¡¯t be able to fall asleep, some quality alone time would be good for me. Better than me feeling bad for making you stay awake all night keeping me company.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ if you¡¯re sure. Are you sure?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m sure. I¡¯m going to be just fine. Again, if you spend enough time for you to get to know me than you¡¯ll find out that as long as it doesn¡¯t inconvenience me, I care very deeply about people suffering as a result of their actions towards me. In other words, go to sleep or else I¡¯ll start hating myself for forcing you to be here instead.¡±

    Sarah gulped and, very reluctantly, stood up. ¡°Alright. If you¡¯re sure that¡¯s what you want.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡±

    ¡°OK, so until tomorrow, then. I¡¯ll join you as soon as you finish with all your tests.¡±

    ¡°Just as long as you¡¯ve had a full night¡¯s sleep beforehand.¡± Sam got up as well, to accompany her to the door, which she used as an opportunity to guilt him into a goodbye hug. Half a minute hug later, they bid each other goodnight and Sam was, for the first time today, truly alone.

 Chapter 14

    First thing that Sam did once there was no company to entertain, was turn off all the lights in the room, leaving only the small one above the bed to show him the way around. Second thing was to take his second shower of the day. Once he was standing naked before the shower, he realized that he was also standing before a crossroads of sorts. But the decision came quickly. After all, Sam wasn¡¯t at home. Half a minute later, he stepped into the shower with the sound of the toilet flushing in his ears.

    Fortunately, the waters proved just as warm as they had been before, so Sam opted, unconsciously, to stay in the shower long enough to get his new skin proper pruned. But he was eventually forced to leave the cognitive safety of the shower due to the lack of knowledge about whether water remained a precious resource, even in a world with magic. It was only after he donned the bathrobe that he realized that he forgot one habitual aspect of his nightly cleaning routine. But it seemed that he wasn¡¯t the only one who forgot about dental hygiene since the appropriate tools were nowhere to be found.

    Sure, he could step out into the hallway, back into this strange and foreign world, and quest for a toothbrush and paste. Surely this modern hospital was not so different from the ones he was familiar with as to not have a nurse¡¯s station somewhere on every floor. Still, he decided that his dental health could take a small hit from a missed brushing. The potential damage to his already fragile mental health was much greater.

    Walking back into the dimly lit room, Sam was at a loss at what came next. Of course, it was rare, bordering on impossible, for a person to have nothing they could do. And indeed, Sam could think up a dozen different things to occupy his time. However, he couldn¡¯t think of any one thing that he should do. For once in his life, there was no drive in him to reach some arbitrary goal, no anxiety constantly reminding him of his multitude of responsibilities. After all, there was nothing left of the life he had built for himself except for that very self. And even that was in question.

    Sam shook his head. He shouldn¡¯t wallow in self pity. Or at the very least, he should try not to. He eventually settled on talking a sit next to the bed and propping his legs on it, trying to slip into the habit of his daily post-shower mediation. Still no timer, of course, but that didn¡¯t bother him. He wouldn¡¯t have known for how long to set it to anyway. Going old-school, he started with one for breathing in and two for out, and all over again once you reach ten. But only completed a couple of rotations before deciding to drop the counting. The breathing came easily to him; steady and measured. With it being so calm, it was almost too easy to sink down to its constant rhythm.

    The thoughts, however, were a different story, much more distracting than usual (a great feat, that). They came in rushing waves, each from a different direction, each trying to turn his mental gaze towards it. He did an admirable job of avoiding getting lost in them, much better than he ought to have been able to. He didn¡¯t know whether to credit that to his new body and the effect of magic with their miraculous ability to dissipate his negative feelings. Or whether the reason that no one thought was able to take hold in his head was that the competition between them was so fierce.

    Eventually, he had enough. He didn¡¯t know how long he had been sitting still for and he no longer cared. His mind was screaming at him to let it roam among his many errant thoughts. The time for peaceful contemplation had passed. Now was his turn to let his emotions ride high, to stop trying and hold back.

    He dressed in the same clothes that he wore before and started pacing about the room, trying to work out the energy created by the roaring in his mind. All this walking isn¡¯t going to help me fall asleep, he noted to himself. Which meant that he wasn¡¯t certain whether to be grateful or annoyed with the room¡¯s relative lack of space affecting his walking range.

    Eventually, push came to shove, and he wore himself down. So he plopped down on the chair overlooking the window instead. Looking out into this place he¡¯s never been before, up into the eerily similar night skies, Sam was left with only one thought. He wanted to cry; he felt like bawling his eyes out, curling into a ball and sitting under a table completely in the dark. Unfortunately, there wasn¡¯t any proper wall backed table to be found. And the unnaturally natural bright night sky combined with the streetlights outside meant that, even with the blinds closed, it would still not be dark enough.

    Of course, all of that wasn¡¯t the real reason why he couldn¡¯t break down in anguish. The problem simply was that the tears wouldn¡¯t come. His body wouldn¡¯t heed his commands. Because, physically, he felt great! So why would the body waste resources on producing liquid waste when there was no chemical incentive for it to do so? Sure, that didn¡¯t make any sense, but it still made more than him not being able to cry after the worst day of his life.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± he cried out, cupping his brow with his hands. ¡°Fuck,¡± he said once again, his voice lowered to a despondent whisper. It had never happened to him before, not being able to cry. Usually, the tears came easy enough if he had a reason to shed them. Plenty of times he found himself crying for no discernible reason.

    He felt that if he continued this way¡ªhis sadness bottled up¡ªhe was bound to explode. So he tried thinking of sad things, the memories that always brought him to tears. The death of his first cat Minnie, the ending of The Lord of The Rings, that one Adventure Time episode. Soon enough, he started thinking of things that never made him sad before, simply because they couldn¡¯t have had the chance. The death of his parents and older sister. Hell, the death of the rest of family and everyone he¡¯s ever known. Which also meant the death of his second cat, Sol. The fact that he had always kept some emotional distance from the orange idiot, on account of the fact that he¡¯d have to bid him farewell after moving out, wasn¡¯t enough to blunt the pain.

    Isn¡¯t it funny? It¡¯s easier for me to feel sad thinking about Sol and Minnie than thinking about the death of actual human beings. I guess it¡¯s harder to conceptualize their death. I mean, up until now, the saddest I¡¯ve ever been was after Minnie¡¯s death. Or maybe the accident. But now that the consequences for that are gone, does that mean the invalidation of my feelings at the time?

    Fuck! How the hell am I even supposed to feel? Should I be sad because they died or because I won¡¯t be able to see them ever again? It¡¯s been more than a hundred years, so they¡¯d have died by now anyway. So then, shouldn¡¯t I be happy? Instead of being forced to witness them and the rest of humanity dying in an apocalyptic war, I can put some sort of distance between me and them. Imagine that they all either died before the war or survived to die after. Christ! What does it even matter? They¡¯re all gone. I¡¯ll never see anyone I knew ever again.

    He started butting his head against the table as though the physical pain could untie the knots formed in his mind. After a minute, his pace slowed down before eventually stopping completely with his head laid still on the table. Finally, his body started corresponding to his mood. Finally, the mental weight that wore him down and emotionally exhausted him had a physical effect. Finally, he was tired, both in body and soul.

    He didn¡¯t know for how long he laid there before a familiar-sounding voice brought him out of his lethargy. ¡°It is imperative for you to train in order to take an active part in the war,¡± it said. Sam didn¡¯t understand how, but he knew for certain that the voice came from within his own head. It was like having a dialogue with himself, but ten times clearer. It took him a couple of second to regain his clarity of mind before he recognized why he thought the voice to be familiar. With exactly the same tone, the same sensation in his mind, the voice was just like the one he had heard at the day¡¯s beginning, back in the void.

    Who the fuck are you?! He shouted in his thoughts, shooting up from his sit and taking a wild look around. He started pacing around the room, but was unable to find anything out of the ordinary. Which didn¡¯t mean much considering he didn¡¯t know what counted as unordinary in this modern age.

    ¡°You need to speak out loud if you wish for us to hear you,¡± the voice intoned in his head once more.

    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    ¡°How the hell does that make sense?¡± Sam asked between clenched teeth. ¡°You can speak in my mind, but can¡¯t hear it?¡±

    ¡°It is impossible to read a mind.¡±

    ¡°Then how the fuck is it possible to speak into a mind?¡±

    ¡°It is different.¡±

    ¡°Different how?¡±

    ¡°One is possible, and the other is not.¡±

    ¡°Listen asshole, if you don¡¯t start making sense, I¡¯m going to run out of here, screaming about voices in my head, and flag the first nurse I see for a bucketful of anti-schizophrenic medication. The only reason I¡¯ve yet to do so, is because that as of today, magic is real. So why can¡¯t the voices in your head be real as well?¡±

    ¡°We are real. And we would advise you against making it known to others that you converse with us.¡±

    ¡°Ah-ah, sure. I bet that¡¯s what every mental delusion says on the first date. Right now, I don¡¯t care if you¡¯re real or not, or why I shouldn¡¯t tell other people about you. Circle back around to why you can¡¯t read my thoughts.¡±

    ¡°I would advise against it. The time we have available to conserve with you is a limited resource.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t care. Either you start from there, or you don¡¯t start at all. And I¡¯m warning you, I am very good at thrashing my head against the pillow in order to block out intrusive thoughts.¡±

    ¡°The mode of magic we are using in order for you to hear us translates our direct mental input into information that your mind is able to interpret as words. Usually, it requires a mutual link constructed by a pattern imprinted on both parties at the same time, for tracing it is a practical impossibility. We, however, are able to sidestep the practical constraints as a result of sharing in the same body as you. If you were able to use magic and were knowledgeable and powerful enough for the required tracing, you would have been able to talk with us mentally us well. But you would never be able to read our mind, the same as we are not capable of doing with you. It is impossible to read another sentient being¡¯s mind.¡±

    Sam considered asking ¡°why not¡± but dropped that idea. Unless the electric sheep in his head were lying, they were on borrowed time, and Sam was interested in getting to the bottom of whatever was happening. ¡°Are you satisfied with this answer?¡± The voice asked him.

    ¡°No, but I¡¯ll manage. What I won¡¯t manage is going ahead without answers to two questions. One: why shouldn¡¯t I tell other people about you? And two, what did you mean by saying that we share a body?¡±

    ¡°We would easily be able to answer these questions by delivering the explanation we have prepared for you beforehand.¡±

    ¡°Fine, go ahead then.¡±

    ¡°We are a being created by the Reshan. We were created in order to monitor the Web until its death or ascension with the purpose of helping the integrated worlds and peoples flourish and advance. Crucial in our efforts in the matter was our ability to choose from among those of the integrating populace which we had access to, take them and remake their body before returning them at what we considered was the best opportunity for their civilization as a whole.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re the reason for the discrepancy between our Taken and the other races?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Our decision-making process for your world was much more strained. Your kind did not have magic at all, which made them much more vulnerable to the Harots than the other races. We had to risk the life of many talented individuals by not taking them when young and returning them during your integration.¡±

    ¡°OK, so what about me then? How come I¡¯m older than everyone else?¡±

    ¡°Your innate ability to sense base magic was the highest among all ¡®Terrans¡¯ we had access to.¡±

    ¡°What the hell does that mean?¡±

    ¡°It is known in this part of the Web as being a Thread-Weaver.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that. OK, so if I¡¯m so talented, why not return me during the war? Couldn¡¯t I have helped save more lives?¡±

    ¡°Possible. It is also possible you would have died. It was too great a risk, considering we have greater need of you now.¡±

    Sam didn¡¯t like the sound of that. He stopped his pacing and sat down with his back to the bed, his head resting on the mattress. ¡°Why¡­ do you have a greater need for me now?¡±

    ¡°That is the calculation we had reached¡ªback when we were in our full form¡ªbefore taking you. Before we were even aware of the existence of your world, the state of affairs was such that victory for the Epiraks was certain. Such a conclusion was against our directive, but we had no other tools available in order to prevent it. Until the Web started the first stage of integrating your world and we became aware of your kind. Thus, we spent the rest of our resources choosing amongst those of you we could to be Taken. You, had the highest potential amongst them, the best possible weapon against the Epiraks.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s asinine, you know that, right? How the fuck am I your ¡®best weapon?¡¯ And what do your ¡®calculations¡¯ tell you now? Are we winning son?¡±

    ¡°We do not know. Once we deduced the state of the war as unsalvageable and your being the best tool remaining to us in order to save the Web, we transferred our consciousness to your body while it was being remade.¡±

    ¡°Come again? And make it make sense this time.¡±

    ¡°Once we did all we could do to help the Web from our previous position, we began the process of transferring what we could of our sentient mind to your body. This was in order to be able to help you directly.¡±

    ¡°And what happened to all the other things you were in charge of?¡±

    ¡°That which we were able to manipulate ourselves, such as the returning of Taken, we left with an extensive set of commands and redundancies. That which was under our purview but also had caretakers of their own, such as some of the facilities left behind by the Reshan. We left with orders to aid you and all those fighting against the Epiraks. Anything else was left to the natural behavior of the Web or to the instinctual behavior of the mind we left behind, if there is any.¡±

    ¡°Swell, so you handicapped yourself for nothing. Cause I¡¯ll tell you what. It¡¯s really lucky that you¡¯re not able to run those stupid calculations anymore because they¡¯ll tell you this straight away: you¡¯re fucked. You wanted a Hannibal to save Carthage from Rome but instead you got Hannibal¡¯s dumber younger brother. Nah, fuck that, I¡¯m not even anywhere near as good as Hasdrubal. There is no way in hell that I¡¯m the right person for the job of saving the world.¡±

    ¡°You had the best potential, that is certain. What is also certain is that without your intervention, the Epiraks are sure to win. Billions will die and the few that won¡¯t will lose their identity. Leaving you as their only hope for salvation. We heard all of your conversations today. You spoke of the importance of morals. Are you not going to try and save them?¡±

    ¡°Fuck!¡± Sam shouted. ¡°Of course I¡¯m going to try. I was going probably to anyway. I¡¯m just telling you, you¡¯ve got the wrong guy for the job!¡±

    ¡°We disagree. And this is why it is paramount that you do not tell other people about us.¡±

    ¡°Why not? Are you afraid that everyone around me is an evil spy? Fuck, do the bad guys¡ªthe Epiraks¡ªeven have spies?¡±

    ¡°Spies are not our concern. It is the knowledge of others regarding your status and us. Shared knowledge has weight.¡±

    ¡°Weight? Are you joking?¡±

    ¡°We do not. Until you are able to perfectly control your threads. It is paramount you do not tell other people what we told you. Even be they the greatest of Rulers or even Chosen. There is still a chance for the enemy to learn of you, and that is too great a risk.¡±

    ¡°Fine. So no telling other people about the voice in my head. What else? What do you want me to do?¡±

    Sam waited for almost a minute, but the voice had yet to respond to him. ¡°Hey! Are you still there?¡± Receiving no reply, Sam realized that his uninvited guest¡¯s telephone tokens must have run out. ¡°Shit, bastard cut out right after giving the most cliche explanation for why not to tell other people about this very important plot device.¡±

    He could, of course, stop thinking like an asshole and realize that the entity¡¯s words made perfect sense. If Sam was indeed the chosen one, or even if he wasn¡¯t, but people thought he was, then the dark lord would surely want him dead. And unless it was a really stupid dark lord, they were going to have spies among the forces of good, or if not spies, figure it out through the threads or whatever it was that had weight to it. And unless it was a really cliche dark lord, she was going to want him dead the minute she heard about him. So, provided the voice was being truthful in the full sense of the word, that was indeed a good enough reason not to tell people that death and destruction loomed on the horizon. Although there was the discussion whether that reason was really good enough. Was his information not enough to thwart doom? Was he really the necessary chess piece for humanity¡¯s survival?

    Trying to digest everything he just learned left Sam even more physically tired and mentally drained than he was before. The unbearable melancholy of everything he had experienced and learned today was now also accompanied by the crushing weight of the anxiety, risen from the ashes thanks to his new heroic duty.

    Sam was done. He was well and over finished with this stupid fucking day and this stupid fucking world and this stupid fucking future.

    ¡°How poor must destiny be, for it to have chosen, one such as me? Fuck¡­That was way too good for me to have come up with it on my own¡­ I must have ripped it off from somewhere.¡±

    Without even realizing it, he started trying to force himself back up, on to the bed. Weakly grabbing at the top of the mattress, he eventually cajoled his body to rest on the soft surface. Lying there, with his face squeezed onto the pillow, not even bothering to cover up with the blanket, Sam found his mind truly blank for the first time since the day started. Moments later, he felt his cheeks beginning to wet.

    Paradoxically, a smile crept upon his face; he was finally able to cry. And while the smile didn¡¯t last long, he was still crying when sleep found him.

 Chapter 15

    Yesterday, Sam avoided using the phrase ¡°woke up¡± to describe his first moment of realization upon finding himself a void. It was just one of those things, suddenly giving a great weight to a minor difference in semantics just because your emotional instincts pushed you to do so. Sam couldn¡¯t have woken up because he hadn¡¯t gotten to sleep, and Sam couldn¡¯t have gotten to sleep because sleep meant dreams and there were no dreams to be found in his memories. The trouble with standing on semantics, then, is that they can come back to bite you in the ass by forcing you to adopt an illogical conclusion. Meaning that you¡¯re either left as a hypocrite or a dogmatic asshole. Obviously, Sam hadn¡¯t learnt his lessons from his previous bout of standing on semantics because he had just spent his very first waking moments doing the same thing.

    All this to say: Sam had a dreamless night of sleep.

    Just one of the changes I¡¯ll have to get used to, he thought. Then, with the realization fully dawning on him, he felt torn between elation, at the prospect of finally having a truly restful sleep, and dismay, from the cloud of negativity that appeared in his mind whenever he thought of the change that was brought upon him. Was his suffering of vivid dreams every night purely a result of the chemicals in his body, or was it affected by his mind? Was it both? And, if the truth was to be found with the latter option, did it mean that his psyche underwent modifications as well?

    His train of thought was disrupted by the same thing that¡ªSam now realized¡ªhad caused him to wake up in the first place. The sound of measured knocking reverberated from the door, loud enough to wake someone up but not too loud as to cause them panic. Sam straightened up on the bed and called out, ¡°Yeah?¡±

    Maurice, possibly wearing the same set of clothes from yesterday, stepped through the door. ¡°Good morning Sam. Did you manage to fall asleep last night?¡±

    ¡°I did. You just woke me up, actually.¡±

    ¡°Splendid, Ms. Khan informed me that you had concerns about being able to fall asleep. I¡¯m glad to see that it all worked out all right in the end. And speaking off, how was your conversation last night? In the message she sent me, she sounded very optimistic about it, going so far as to provide me with a list of the topics you¡¯ve covered.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ No it was¡­ great, I suppose, considering, you know? We covered a lot of ground. A lot of it. But as fruitful as the discussion was, I highly doubt that I¡¯ve learned all that I need to know.¡±

    ¡°Of course not. There was no chance of that happening even if you sequestered yourself in the same room for an entire week. But from the sounds of it, you¡¯ve managed to go over the most important and pressing subjects for the time being. Hopefully, enough to prevent you from feeling completely lost and alienated when going about your day. As for anything else you¡¯ll need or wish to know, it will all come to you eventually, either from your own inquisition or from the tuition of others. No need to worry about that, yes?¡±

    ¡°As long as it doesn¡¯t have anything to do with the practical usage of magic, you mean.¡±

    ¡°Indeed. And there is still plenty of other information for you to learn about for you to fill your schedule for the next year, not to mention the few days it would take until your Awakening and for you to realize why your time was much better spent not learning about practical magic. That is, of course, if you¡¯re committed to studying magic in a professional setting. Which Sarah told me you are. That you wanted to join the academy. For a trial run, at least.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it seems like the best place for me to get my bearings. And it¡¯s not like the idea of becoming an all powerful wizard doesn¡¯t appeal to me.¡± Of course, it¡¯s not like he had much of a choice anyway, what with one course of action being the objectively moral thing to do and the other course of action also being selfishly worse, seeing as it would end with him dead. But, for now, he was still only committed to ¡°trying¡± the academy out. Explaining how his change in conviction happened in less than half a day would be too much hassle.

    Maurice furrowed his eyebrows. ¡°I do wish you would take a couple of more days to think about it. Yes, there is much righteousness, and even self-fulfillment and fame, in fighting against the Epiraks, but you have no obligation to give your life to a world you have just entered. You should take your time getting acclimated to this world and all it has to offer before you make any decision that could dictate your entire future.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s only a trial run, anyway.¡± It¡¯s not. ¡°Sarah told me that everyone can decide to drop out during their first year if they want you. And that in my case, she¡¯s sure that the academy will be willing to be even more lenient with me, if that¡¯s what I end up wanting.¡± I won¡¯t. I can¡¯t.

    ¡°Yes, that does sound likely¡­¡± Maurice wandered off thinking before shaking his head. ¡°In any case, the wheels are already in motion for the prospect of you joining the academy.

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    ¡°Already?¡±

    ¡°I and¡­ someone else, had a rather short night¡¯s sleep ever since I got the message from Sarah that you wanted to join. Well, he more than me. All I had to do was invite the Ruler whose job it will be to ascertain whether I was right or wrong when calling you a Thread-Weaver. That meeting is scheduled for this evening, after which, we could fully dedicate ourself to creating a training regimen and curriculum that both makes up for your late start while also takes into consideration you being a Thread-Weaver.¡±

    ¡°If I am one, you mean.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that is almost a certain conclusion at this point. Esther is coming mostly to give an official confirmation of the fact. Only Rulers and Thread-Weavers are assured of possessing Threadsight. So the protocol is that only the former can verify the latter. Level 8s like me don¡¯t count, even if you being one is the only possibility that makes sense.¡±

    Sam shrugged. After yesterday, not being a Thread-Weaver didn¡¯t seem like a very realistic worry. If everything else he experienced was real, that is. ¡°You¡¯re the expert.¡±

    ¡°Hardly,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Like I said, just following the established protocol. Oh. And speaking of protocol, something that I should¡¯ve already mentioned to you yesterday¡­ your Awakening.¡±

    ¡°What about it?¡±

    ¡°It will most likely happen it the next couple of days. And when it does, it¡¯s important that you call me straight away after you wake up so that I could come check up on you.¡±

    ¡°Why? Is there¡­ a danger to me or something?¡±

    ¡°Nothing of the sort. It¡¯s just a part of protocol. Doing everything we can to make sure that each new Taken is as healthy as they should be. Plus¡­ No, nevermind that. I¡¯m getting my professional duties mixed up. Just think of it as a government mandated test. One that¡¯s more custom than anything else. Regardless, that is for later. For now, are still plenty of physical tests to be done before I can release you from custody.¡±

    ¡°Oh, right then. I¡¯ll just get dressed and we¡¯ll be off.¡±

    ¡°No need. There is still time yet. I came early on purpose in order to give you some time to get ready. I¡¯ll come back in¡­ let¡¯s say fifteen minutes?¡±

    Sam nodded absentmindedly before remembering that he was still missing something. ¡°Oh, could you also ask someone to get me a toothbrush and toothpaste? Unless having magic means there¡¯s no need for dental hygiene anymore?¡±

    ¡°Of course. Must have forgotten about that yesterday when I told them to prepare your room. I¡¯ll have someone bring them to you. And yes, there is a common pattern that substitutes the need for dental care.¡±

    ¡°And I still can¡¯t imprint patterns until I get my magic¡­¡±

    ¡°Even after that, I¡¯m sorry to report. Not to mention that the required level for the pattern is level 2 on average. So I¡¯m afraid that you¡¯ll have to bother with the practice for at least a while longer.¡±

    Sure, Sam thought as Maurice walked out of the room, it¡¯s not like I¡¯ve ever had a problem with brushing my teeth in the morning on account of my stupid brain. Oh wait! I did! Cause I¡¯m an asshole with a stupid brain that hates the fact that I¡¯ve wasted time by sleeping too long and still waking up tired. So it decides to skip the two measly minutes needed to brush your teeth in order to get to browsing reddit faster.

    Sam kept the line of self-flagellating thoughts going all the way until he was enveloped by the warm shower¡¯s flow. Unfortunately, this short shower wasn¡¯t going to be anywhere close to the time needed for him to finish processing everything that happened to him. Even so, he felt himself following the unrelenting pull of worry as his mind started focusing on just one part of yesterday. The last conversation he had and the conclusions that he must draw from it. Mainly that if what the voice said was true, Sam had the fate of the whole world on his shoulders.

    Fuck it! Thinking about isn¡¯t going to lead anywhere. I can¡¯t take the risk that they were lying, or that they were just a voice in my head. And sure, while I can¡¯t act like some unstoppable hero that¡¯s here to save everyone, I also can¡¯t act like someone who¡¯s not even fit save a Hot Pocket from burning. What I need to do is just keep my head down, not let any diversions or fears affect me. For now, I have a simple and attainable goal, getting stronger. It¡¯s like working out in a sense. If you just keep exercising, it eventually becomes easier and you find out that you got in shape. It¡¯s the same thing. If I just put my nose to the grindstone, maybe I¡¯ll wake up one day having already saved the world¡ªworlds!

    That wasn¡¯t the end of it, of course. The same cycle of thoughts accompanied him all the way through to the shower¡¯s end. Luckily, what ¡°rational¡± ad hoc solutions meant to momentarily calm his worried mind couldn¡¯t do, an outside stimulus could. Someone had left him a bag on the door handle. Inside of which were three differently colored toothbrushes and a toothpaste from an unknown brand.

    Christ, even the toothpaste companies are different. Makes me wonder if there¡¯s anything that stayed the same. Sarah knew what I was talking about when I mentioned ¡°googling¡± but is it because the company is still around or only that the verb stuck. Fuck, maybe even the verb isn¡¯t used anymore, and she only got it cause she¡¯s from my time. What about other things? Is there still Coke? Is Pepsi OK?

    After he finished brushing, he went sorting through the pile of clothes that were now his, trying to arrange today¡¯s wardrobe. Not that it was an arduous task. He was mostly trying to decide between wearing sweatpants again or wearing jeans instead. In the end, he went with the pair of jeans. While the sweats offered comfort, he wasn¡¯t suffering from any physical aliment that would cause him to need the extra waist room. And he felt less conspicuous going out in public in a pair of jeans. Which wasn¡¯t something to be proud of, obviously. But Sam already had enough plans for self improvement on his plate without adding ridding himself of anxiety about his sense of fashion into the mix.

    Once he finished dressing, he sat down near the bed and tried to keep his calm while waiting for Maurice. Luckily, he didn¡¯t need to wait too long. Barely a minute later and Maurice walked in after knocking and receiving the affirmation from Sam. ¡°Good. I see you¡¯re all dressed. Ready to go?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Sam said and followed him out of the room.

 Chapter 16

    Sam didn¡¯t think that they¡¯d really be able to finish a whole round of intensive testing in a single day, much less in a single morning. But his assumptions were based on his previous, normal experiences with a normal hospital. He didn¡¯t count on having priority access in a top of the line hospital. Nor that someone beforehand had already organized for you an incredibly tight schedule. And both of these things, to quote the commonly misunderstood poet, have made all the difference.

    He was currently seated opposite of Maurice in the hospital¡¯s cafeteria, listening to the doctor¡¯s narration of the results of the day¡¯s test. ¡°All in all, from what we can see, you are in perfect health.¡± The doctor nodded to himself in a happy affirmation that some things about the Taken haven¡¯t changed.

    Not that Sam needed this clean bill of health in order to appease his mind. All the tests that he underwent today, from the first tube of blood drawn, and down to the last MRI deciphered, they all served to prove what Sam already knew. There was nothing wrong with him. Even without the verbatim confirmation of his guest from yesterday, Sam had no doubt as to his physical wellbeing. After all, if you laid all of your hope on a single ace in the hole, you¡¯re going to make damn sure that it¡¯s be in the best condition possible. The whole bit with the core missing and being in the void were probably just side effect that wouldn¡¯t matter any in the long run. So it didn¡¯t matter all that much that the AI ran off before Sam could confirm it with them. Hopefully.

    One could, then, say that the last couple of hours have been a complete waste of time. But Sam would never be that someone. Not only because he wanted to avoid hurting Maurice¡¯s feelings, but mostly because he would never dare fully adopt such a point of view on the question of being medically through. As Sam saw it, when it came to a man¡¯s health, anal was the name of the game. And the fact the Sam was a great believer in mild hypochondria had nothing to do with that. Also, it¡¯s not like he could tell Maurice that he believed himself to be completely fine because the voice in his head told him he¡¯s got the fate of the world(s) on his shoulders.

    ¡°So what now?¡± he asked Maurice after finishing his doctor¡¯s prescribed leafy greens. The hospital¡¯s lunch was just as good as its dinner, and Sam ate heartily, making up for his missed breakfast and egged on by his new body¡¯s increased metabolism.

    ¡°That¡¯s a good question.¡± Maurice put down the clipboard on the table. ¡°Right now? We are waiting for Ms. Khan. She and I agreed that she should show you around the academy if you are still set on attending it.¡±

    ¡°I am.¡±

    ¡°Indeed¡­ Then, in the broad sense, the future is more or less set for you. You¡¯ll join the academy and it will cater to all your needs for one and fill the rest of your time with education for another.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m going to be accepted? That¡¯s a done deal?¡±

    ¡°Of course. No nation can afford to turn away someone with your unique talents.¡±

    ¡°Great¡­¡±

    ¡°Are you having second thoughts about joining?¡±

    ¡°Not about joining no, just whether I deserve to be admitted prima facie due to what basically amounts to brute luck. You sound as though you¡¯d like me to have second thoughts, however.¡±

    ¡°I am. In my opinion, you are rushing to a decision much too quickly. You should take your time in order to make an informed one. Nothing will be lost if you wait half a year for this current school one to end before joining.¡±

    ¡°Except that half a year.¡±

    ¡°True. But where are you rushing off to? The front lines? Most likely you would have to repeat the first year anyway. And even if you don¡¯t, if you¡¯ve managed to acquire enough knowledge to match up to your peers, you would still be behind them level-wise.¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯ll just have to work even harder on catching up. Honestly, I don¡¯t get why you¡¯re making a big deal out of this. It¡¯s not like I have any better use of my time, right? So I might as well spend my acclimation period in this very structured and informative environment instead of just lazing in a hotel room somewhere, living off the government¡¯s stipend. Worst-case scenario, I find out that academy life isn¡¯t for me, and I quit. Two-year grace period, right?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a difference between being able to quit whenever you want and being able to make that decision. My worry is that once you¡¯ve set yourself on this road, even if you¡¯ll eventually discover that it¡¯s not to your liking, you wouldn¡¯t be able to step off of it. Whether it¡¯d be due to being razor focused on the military as your only path in this life. Or, and I¡¯ve seen this many times before, not wanting to disappoint other people and the institutions that you¡¯ve already committed yourself to.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Sound like you have almost as low esteem of me as I have.¡±

    ¡°Not at all. Quite contrary, in fact. I¡¯m sure that you could succeed in anything that you wanted to do in this life. I just want you to wait until you know better what it is that you want to do.¡±

    While the doctor¡¯s regards for Sam¡¯s freedom of will and ability to make an informed choice touched him, Sam couldn¡¯t help but still get annoyed by it. He had already made a choice. Dicking about, trying to re-examine it, won¡¯t get him anywhere. Still, Maurice was not trying to be annoying, rather he was just worried about Sam¡¯s well being. And since he didn¡¯t know that Sam¡¯s wellbeing was only served by going in this particular direction, he had to be rejected gently. Not with the venom that Sam wanted to spew at a certain voice in his head for putting him in this situation in the first place.

    ¡°I can understand where you¡¯re coming from,¡± Sam said, ¡°but I¡¯ve already made my choice. Besides, in the case that I¡¯ll regret it later, I can always quit as you said. I assure you, neither peer nor material pressure can force me to stay once I¡¯ve made my decision to quit. If ever there was a competition for the ability to drop out of commitments that turn out to be harder than anticipated, I¡¯d be front runner for sure.

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    ¡°Case in point: When I was around fourteen or fifteen years of age, I found myself enamored with the idea of learning Latin. ¡®Oh, but could there be a greater pleasure than reading Ceaser or Aurelius in their native tongue?¡¯ I¡¯d cry out in adoration. Side note: I¡¯m pretty sure I had no interest in actually reading a literary work in its original form. I just wanted to know the language. It¡¯s similar to how young teens want to get a tattoo or a piercing in order to look cool, only geared towards a more history-nerd kind of crowd.

    ¡°Anyway, my fascination with the idea of acquiring the ability to curse most people in the world without repercussions drove me to seek my parents¡¯ aid in the matter. Mama and Papa were most welcoming after hearing of their progeny¡¯s new found ambition. And in their parental naivet¨¦, they took my assurances of how much it meant to me at face value. Which lead to them signing me up at great cost (probably not that much though) to a university course whose stated goal was to grant its participants the vaunted knowledge I required. ¡®My true heart¡¯s desire,¡¯ it promised, and just for the simple price of every weekday of my summer break

    ¡°But alas, when it comes to crashing a young boy¡¯s dreams, tragedy is even more punctual than a wizard. For even in the first hour of the first day of our lessons, I was met with challenges insurmountable. First came the realization of what it meant to dedicate almost every day of my vacation to a goal antithetical to how I spent every vacation up until then. For continuing in my pursuit of knowledge meant waking up early every day and returning home when the sun was still up only because it was summer. Thus, the first chink in my armor of determination appeared. Just like the smart kid with no work ethic when he reaches highschool; studying proved to be harder than ever before and there were no ingrained habits to be found to help the pupil stand their ground.

    ¡°If only this were the sole hardship young Sam experienced on that day, then he might have found in him the ability to soldier on after the lunch break. Maybe even to the second day of the two months¡¯ course. But many are the ways in which the real world bars the path before the serially anxious, each one more insidious than the last. For two more obstacles rose to challenge my will, and I have yet to even eat.

    ¡°Lesser of the challenges was the social makeup of my fellow linguists. For it turned out that I was not alone in my aspirations to be cool by learning Latin. Many were the butts that graced that classroom¡¯s chairs, and each one was much older than mine. There were all adult, grownup and graying to my teenaged eyes. I was struck by paralysis; the thought of interacting with such a large group of people, each one so foreign to me in years, turned my social anxiety meter all the way to eleven.

    ¡°But there was one person who was even older than all other participants. You might call her a grandma in vernacular, but I posses no knowledge as to her familial structure on that day. She arrived late, and bereft of the choice for accessible sits, she was forced to sit herself at the back of the class. Right next to me, as it were, who had chosen the far row in an attempt to cater to his already struggling state of mind.

    ¡°The straw that broke the camel¡¯s back came after the initial introduction by the professor. I was already on the precipice of a mental withdrawal, and it didn¡¯t help that the teacher spent a considerable amount of time stressing the difficulty of the course. We were all gathered and guided to the faculty¡¯s administration in order to receive our copy of the course¡¯s workbook. I was even mentioned by name when receiving my book, for I was a rare sight in those ivory halls. Also, quite possibly, because I might have had to be given a special permission before I was accepted into the program.

    ¡°However, tragedy struck! There were not enough textbooks for every hopeful student, some would have to share. Or more accurately, two would have to share, for there was only one book missing. And who else was chosen to share the wealth but yours truly? And you¡¯ve might have already guessed with whom I was to share paper if not pen. For there was no other reason to introduce her if she did not play a bigger role besides being old and sitting in the same row as me. Indeed! I was forced together, bound as one to the same piece of binding, with the old lady I¡¯ve bemoaned about already.

    ¡°There was only so much a young boy, who never knew a day of unwilling hunger in his life, could stomach before breaking. And break I did. Once lunch arrived and break announced, I took all I brought with me, stuffed it in my backpack, and, leaving the shared workbook behind, figuratively ran to find shelter.

    ¡°It was on a sun bleached low stretch of wall where I found my fortress of solitude. Partitioning the freshly cut grass from the stone-pebbled pavement that surrounded a parking lot, it stood. And as I sat upon it; empty water bottle in my hand, I turned my mind to the question of where my future lay.

    ¡°To cut things short, after two phone calls, one to each of my parents, and one massage exchange¡ªmoving forward my therapist appointment to later than afternoon¡ªI was pretty much cut off from the chance to become the pope on account of me dropping out of the course. So let this be a lesson for you. If I truly want to, nothing, not even my childhood dreams or my parents¡¯ material investment, can stop me from being a little bitch. So there is no need for you to be worried that I won¡¯t dare to change my mind if I find the path I¡¯ve set upon too difficult. When push comes to shove, and I can¡¯t stand it anymore, I¡¯ll always run away.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­¡± Maurice said after a while, probably making sure that Sam didn¡¯t have anything more to add. ¡°Then I can only hope that you¡¯ll be able to walk your chosen path to its end. Whether it¡¯s quitting if you¡¯ve discovered the academy is not to your liking. Or staying with it, if it is to your liking, but you still struggle with it mentally. In any case, you should probably not hold on so tightly to that past event as a core part of who you are. In the end, it will just make you doubt yourself even more.¡±

    ¡°Eh.¡± Sam shrugged. ¡°It was a long time ago. I was a lot more whiny and weak willed then, if you¡¯d believe it. Plus, I was mostly joking, just trying to placate your worries for me. My main point was that I¡¯ll try my best, but if my best won¡¯t be good enough and I¡¯ll find myself truly out of my comfort zone, I¡¯ll do a U-turn.¡± Although in this case, I don¡¯t think I¡¯m allowed to back down, so I¡¯ll either breakthrough or breakdown.

    ¡°Fine. Then I have no more concerns about your decision that I haven¡¯t already voiced. And just in time.¡± He gestured behind Sam, where Sam could now see the brightly smiling Sarah walking towards them. Giving a small wave once she caught Sam¡¯s eye. ¡°I leave you in Ms. Khan¡¯s care, then, Sam. I¡¯ll call her once it¡¯s time for your examination. Until then.¡± Picking up his half finished tray, he bid them both farewell.

    Sarah sat down in the now vacant sit. ¡°He tried to convince you not to join the academy?¡±

    ¡°Something like that. Said that I should take some more time before coming to a decision.¡±

    She blew a raspberry. ¡°He¡¯s just a worrywart. Whatever you choose to do with your life, there¡¯s no better place to come to a decision than right here. Anyway, you ready to go? If you¡¯re going to join, then I better show you around.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what Maurice said as well. I¡¯m ready, I guess. Shouldn¡¯t you eat something, though?¡±

    ¡°Nope. I already ate a lot at breakfast. I can skip lunch. Let¡¯s go!¡±

 Chapter 17

    ¡°Ah¡­ freedom,¡± Sam said once they made their way out of the hospital¡¯s sterile halls and into the open. However, his elation from experiencing the pleasure that is fresh air was soon cut short on account of him acting according to one of man¡¯s most natural instincts. Out beneath the open sky, he turned at once to look up at those very heavens, and was immediately struck by melancholy.

    While this was not his first time being under the big blue dome since he was returned, it was his first time actively looking up at it. And the fact that he was unable to see anything different annoyed him to no end. Everything looked the same to his untrained eye; the sun¡¯s color was as yellow as he thought it ought to have been; the clouds were just as sheepish in their lazy drift as they were in the rare times that he caught himself being enamored with their shape and beauty, actually paying attention to their existence. Even the moon, half faded and barely visible at this time of day, was without visual blemish, although it¡¯s not like Sam would have been able to tell if it wasn¡¯t in the right position.

    Sarah¡¯s nudging of his shoulder brought him out of his self-agonizing reverie. ¡°Everything alright?¡±

    Sam slowly nodded his head, his mind coming back into focus. ¡°Yeah¡­ It¡¯s just the whole bit with the skies, you know? It suddenly reminded me that despite everything looking familiar, it¡¯s still a wholly different world. And the worst of it is that it¡¯s fake. There¡¯s nothing up there and it just looks like that because of people¡¯s faith or some other bullshit like that. I mean, how can you stand it? It¡¯s like we¡¯re locked out of the real universe by the magical skies. It¡¯s the same plot device that aliens use in a sci-fi book when they want to prevent humanity from becoming op.¡±

    Sarah squeezed his shoulder in sympathy. ¡°You get used to it, like everything else. And eventually you stop thinking of them as being fake but as a different version than what we¡¯re used to. Everyone alive now in the Web, besides us Taken, has only known what you and I would consider fake. For them, it¡¯s absolutely real.¡±

    ¡°But space!¡± Sam held his hands upward as if pleading. ¡°How can you stomach this, knowing that it¡¯s just a facade, keeping you stuck on the same pale blue dot? Never being able to reach up there, to industrialize the moon and colonize Mars?¡±

    ¡°By internalizing that this is a different reality than the one I¡¯m used to. One where you can¡¯t travel out in space but instead travel in between worlds. Besides, it¡¯s not like you and I were going to end up on the moon anyway, right? This way we can actually experience traveling between different worlds instead of just dreaming about it.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if we would have never made it up into space. Although, for your information, I harbored great hope of one day being rich enough to have one of the egotistical, very rich people fly me to the moon in exchange for the money they have no more need for. Or maybe instead, a second Cold War would breakout and reignite the space race in all of its glory. With the end result of making space tourism just as viable for the average person as the regular kind.

    ¡°But that¡¯s not the point. Who cares if you, or I, or anyone else featured as 2006 Time¡¯s Person of the Year, made it out into space? What really mattered was humanity''s ability to make up there eventually, resuming its interstellar journey into the unknown. Now, there is no more unknown. Space, with its multitude of mysteries and wonders, is forever taken out of mankind¡¯s grasp.

    ¡°It¡¯s like we¡¯re in Plato¡¯s good old allegory of the cave. But instead of being taken out of our bondage, and witnessing the true form of the real world. We are being forced deeper into the cave, our chains becoming heavier as we draw closer to the earth¡¯s core. And now we find ourselves without even the projection of the passing shadows on the wall. For there is no more fire to provide us with the light needed for the simple act of perceiving our own fake reality. We are locked from the true world, entombed in shadows forevermore.¡±

    Sarah¡¯s eyes turned upwards. Using her hand to shield them from the midday¡¯s sun fierce glare. ¡°Then if this annoys you so much, I guess that there is only one path left before you. You just need to become strong enough to see what¡¯s up there for yourself. Being a Ruler is enough to step out into the void. But who knows, maybe if you manage to become a Chosen, you¡¯ll be able to solve this mystery once and for all. Then, you could find us the way back to the version of space as we know it, and eventually fulfill your dream by becoming the first Sam on the moon.¡±

    ¡°Whoa, don¡¯t spoil it. Now everyone¡¯s gonna know my grand plan and there won¡¯t be any tension.¡±

    Sarah smiled in response. ¡°In all seriousness, are you alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m fine. Sorry I got us dragged into another stupid metaphysical debate. Won¡¯t happen again.¡±

    ¡°Sam, I¡¯ve known you for less than a day, but that¡¯s enough for me to know that¡¯s a promise you won¡¯t be able to keep.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, not in the grand scheme of things, of course not. I meant during our current interaction. No more metaphysics during this physical tour. Speaking of the tour, can we get back on that? We¡¯ve been standing here talking forever, and I¡¯m very conscious of the dangers of skin cancer.¡±

    Sarah shook her head and raised her arms in surrender. ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡¯m truly sorry for wasting your precious time.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s OK.¡±

    ¡°Great, I¡¯m so very happy that you found in your heart to forgive me even if I still haven¡¯t forgiven myself. I¡¯ll try to find my atonement while guiding you around campus, making sure to place the wellbeing of your precious skin at the top of my priorities.¡±

    ¡°Hey! Skin cancer is a very serious topic, so unless things have changed and you¡ª¡±

    ¡°They¡¯ve changed.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t get skin cancer from the sun anymore?¡±

    ¡°No, you still can. You won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Why not? Cause I¡¯m a Taken?¡±

    ¡°Because you¡¯re going to be a high enough level to not have to worry about cancer in no time.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ interesting. This, of course, leads as to a very common philosophical debate, one that I¡¯m not going to open up now even if it doesn¡¯t have anything to do with metaphysics. But it concerns the age old question concerning the exchange between freedom and security. But like I said, there¡¯ll be ample time to discuss it at a later date. Once I know what you meant by being a high enough level.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Sarah said, ¡°because we should really get going.¡± And she started walking to the right, into the proper campus grounds. Her pace was suddenly much faster than before when she led him through the hospital and Sam had to rush in order to catch up to her.

    Once he caught Sarah, she slowed down and returned to the pace with which she previously led him. Walking beside her, Sam made sure not to gawk too much at the scenery and the people they were passing. Turning to Sarah, he said, ¡°You know, I much prefer the version of you that¡¯s fed up with me instead of the version that¡¯s trying to make me feel at ease by overindulging my idiosyncrasies.¡±

    ¡°Tough luck. You¡¯ll just have to make do with my usual nurturing and caring self.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to hold you to that. Let¡¯s see how nice you are once you truly get to know me.¡± Sarah just laughed in response and continued leading Sam through the academy. Every once in a while, she pointed around and gave Sam an introduction to where they were and what was what. He couldn¡¯t help but be impressed with what he saw.

    While the architecture didn¡¯t look anything special to Sam¡¯s untrained eyes, which pretty much just meant they didn¡¯t possess any futuristic or fantastical characteristics, it was pretty enough to look at. Everywhere Sam looked, he saw clean and meticulously constructed buildings. They were all structured in orderly utilitarian lines, assuring swift passage to the hurrying student who woke up late for class.

    The military-like layout of the campus grounds didn''t come at the expense of the aesthetic aspect, however. There were trees and flowerbeds all along the path they walked; along those they didn¡¯t; and surrounding every building. In short, the fancy campus more than matched the expectations that Sam¡¯s stay in the fancy hospital had raised. Clearly, a lot of money and time went into building the place and Sam started feeling bad for making jokes at the expense of its founders (although, how hard would it have been to pick an original name?).

    ¡°That¡¯s the largest mess hall on campus,¡± Sarah said with a gesture to the building. ¡°Not that it matters all that much. At this point, I think that I¡¯ve eaten at every mess hall at least once and there was always plenty of space.¡± It made sense that this mess hall was the biggest, because according to the campus map posted on a signboard nearby, it was smack dab in the middle of it. As further evidence, a lot of people were coming and going through the building¡¯s many entrances. And Sam could swear he saw sharp tipped ears on some of them.

    ¡°Oh. Were going in? Is it time for second brekkie already?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°You¡¯re hungry? You just had lunch.¡±

    ¡°Not really, I just like saying the word ¡®brekkie¡¯ you know? It¡¯s just so fun, try it.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll pass. Want me to grab you something to drink?¡± She gestured towards a vending machine. Great! Time to find out which drinks survived the apocalypse.

    ¡°I¡¯ll never say no to someone else buying me stuff on their dime. You are planning to pay for this, right? Or maybe society advanced so far already that all food and drinks are now free?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m buying. What do you want?¡±

    ¡°Anything I¡¯m used to?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s pretty much the same.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have a coke then.¡±

    She nodded and made her way towards the machine. Sam followed along with her, curious to see if everything was indeed the same. The choices presented on before him allayed his worries. And the taste of the coke was just as he was used to. Only it was a hundred times better because it¡¯s been a hundred years since he last drank it.

    The two of them found a bench to sit on while they went about finishing their drinks. ¡°Damn¡­¡± Sam said with a sigh as he sat down. ¡°I guess all this walking took its toll on me. Is it normal for me to be this tired?¡± And was it alright for him to complain about his legs at all?

    ¡°Pretty much. Despite your body being perfect for magic, it¡¯s pretty normal physical wise. You¡¯re not out of shape. But you¡¯re also not in shape. But what you¡¯re feeling now is more of a result of getting used to your new body. In a couple of days, even if you don¡¯t move around too much, a walk like today won¡¯t be anywhere near as hard.¡±

    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    ¡°Oh shit. Does that mean that I¡¯m going to have to start working out?¡±

    ¡°What did you think being a soldier entails?¡±

    ¡°I thought I¡¯d only have to meditate my chakras and my magic will automatically make me stronger.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ a very crude way to put it. Magic can make you physically stronger, but only if accompanied by regular workouts. And patterns only build upon what is already present in the body. So every physical fighter, that is to say, most fighters, are going to be in pretty good shape anyway. This is a great segue, though. Come on, I¡¯ll show you where all the gyms are.¡±

    Sam got up to follow her, unable to muster the same amount of excitement at the prospect of seeing all the different gyms. It¡¯s not that Sam hated working out, it¡¯s that he simply didn¡¯t like it. Sam was, of course, one of those people who, when met with an action they didn¡¯t like performing and also didn¡¯t have any obligation to do, tended to avoid the action in favor of doing something much more enjoyable. Like reading a book in which the main character is able to dedicate themselves to working out in order to become stronger.

    Of course, sometimes those very substitutes were a reason unto themselves for why he worked out. Yes indeed, it was a story as old as time: Boy watches Dragon Ball Z. Boy wants to be as strong and cool as Goku (not realizing, due to his young age at the time, that Goku is a horrible role model). Boy starts working out in the hope of being able to fart out a blue light beam from his hands. Boy eventually loses his drive to work out, opting to watch TV instead. Now Sam wasn¡¯t saying that he was that boy. Because there was way more than one piece of fiction that, time and time again, drove him to adopt a workout regimen after he compared himself to its protagonist.

    Of course, the main reason that guided Sam back again and again towards the goal of finally being in shape was simply feeling good about himself. That good could take on many forms. From being comfortable and confident with his body image, to simply being happier and less anxious as a result of exercise. Alas, Sam was never quite able to reach the vaunted peak that was being fit. The closest he came was right before he lost both of his legs. And he made damn sure not to remind himself of that irony all that often, for his fragile mental health.

    Sam managed to complete the rest of Sarah¡¯s tour without falling down from exhaustion. Honestly, he probably wasn¡¯t all that tired anyway. It was just that he was so unused to the feeling of his legs being tired that he was hyper-focused on the sensation. The distinct possibility didn¡¯t stop him from grumbling to Sarah, though. He didn¡¯t understand why the place needed there to be nine gyms as well as five pools and a couple more sport fields strewn around for good measure. But Sarah assured him that it was all absolutely necessary, and he wasn¡¯t going to argue with her.

    Besides places to exercise, the academy also included plenty of classrooms, lecture halls, labs, and evidently everything else you would need to learn about magic, combat and the interaction between the two. On the outskirts of the campus, it was surrounded by the buildings housing the pupils and teaching stuff that wished to stay the night in the academy grounds. Which was most of them, apparently. Sarah, herself, was also living in the dormitories, a fact that she proved by leading him all the way to her dorm room.

    ¡°Wait a minute,¡± Sam said in surprise. ¡°A single bed?¡±

    ¡°Yep.¡± Sarah smiled. ¡°Every student room is for a single occupant only. Like I said, they spared no money building the academy.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, no shit. You even have your own bathroom. But isn¡¯t this the exact opposite of what military habitation looks like? Don¡¯t they want to train you guys, or us guys, I guess, like it¡¯s the real thing? To get us used to living in the field, sharing a bunk bed with twelve other dudes, and only having a hot shower once every Christmas?¡±

    ¡°Nope. Only the best for New Terra¡¯s brightest. Also, the living conditions are the front lines aren¡¯t that bad.¡± She laughed. ¡°I¡¯ll show you some pictures later, but it¡¯s pretty nice, everything considered. Even for the rank-and-file trenchies. Anyway, I need to go to the bathroom. I¡¯ll only be a couple of minutes. Sit anywhere you like.¡±

    Sam nodded and opted not to move Sarah¡¯s backpack from the chair facing the table, instead sitting in the only other chair in the room. It¡¯s not like there was much choice, with the only other reasonable alternative being the bed. Sure, he could¡¯ve sat on the floor as well, trying to call back to his early childhood memories. Or maybe the table, but it was currently housing what looked to be a laptop, so Sam figured that option was off the table.

    Besides that, the room was pretty sparse. There was a nightstand next to the bed and a dresser taking up the space left between the table and the nightstand. While the room wasn¡¯t very large, it still felt ¡®roomy¡¯ enough to Sam, who was used to the utilitarian space of a hospital room, yesterday¡¯s luxury suite notwithstanding.

    With the bed covers all neat and tidy, the only hint that the room was occupied by a living person was the many books sat upon any and all available surfaces. There was a paperback on the nightstand, a row of books stacked in twos on the dresser, and many more arranged on the shelves above the desk. Even the table itself wasn¡¯t spared the literary clutter. Textbooks, Sam¡¯s well-trained eyes, honed by three and a half years in an institution for higher education, immediately ascertained.

    Opting to be a diligent pupil right from the get go, Sam picked up the closest textbook and started leafing through it. What he saw there shocked him to his very core! It was a medical textbook based on the diagrams and other visual addenda, something about the human body, if Sam had to guess. But the outrageous thing was not the anatomically correct pictures, but the language the book was written in; It wasn¡¯t English! No, it wasn¡¯t the lingua franca of the modern academic world, but it was instead the language of Europe¡¯s most famous partitioned state: Polish. Sam was abhorred. How far did humanity fall to, so that people have to learn medicine from the Poles? Then again; Poland was famously spared from the suffering brought on by the Black Plague, so maybe they knew a thing or two about medicine.

    Xenophobic tirade done and dusted, Sam started browsing the rest of the textbooks neatly laid out on the desk. Most of them were in English, so Sam didn¡¯t need to exert brain power trying to infer what subject they were discussing. That didn¡¯t help him find a common thread between the different topics presented in each book. The other book on medicine and one on biology in general were in stark contrast to the book filled with incomprehensible diagrams and written in a completely alien language. Hell, there was even one book that tried to unravel the great mystery behind fucking magnets, of all things, and the way in which they work.

    Sam was right about to find the answer to that question when Sarah stepped out of the bathroom and cleared her throat. ¡°I hope you¡¯re not looking through my dirty mags,¡± she said as she moved her backpack to the ground and sat on the chair opposite Sam.

    ¡°Oh, great!¡± Sam said. ¡°If I knew that you had porn just lying around, I wouldn¡¯t have wasted my time trying to hack into your laptop in order to find porn online.¡±

    ¡°My laptop isn¡¯t password protected.¡±

    ¡°OK, so my joke doesn¡¯t work. You killed it. Are you happy now?¡±

    Sarah gave him a beaming smile in response. ¡°So no different from usual then, huh?¡±

    ¡°Hey! You promised sickening sympathy and the complete lack of being justifiably annoyed with my behavior. Where¡¯s all this snark coming from?¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I¡¯ve hurt your feelings. But one thing you got to know about me is that I don¡¯t like people going through my stuff. No, scratch that, I don¡¯t care about people invading my privacy. What I care about is them moving things around and ruining my arrangement.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fair, my bad. Next time I¡¯ll want to rummage through your stuff, I¡¯ll take a photo so I¡¯d know exactly where each sock was.¡±

    ¡°Actually, socks are the one thing where it won¡¯t matter, since all of my socks are of the same kind.¡±

    ¡°Smart. I used to do the same thing back when I could still wear socks,¡± Sam said while twirling around his wonderful new right leg.

    ¡°Then we should buy you some new socks tomorrow, now that you¡¯re¡­ walking again.¡±

    ¡°Nice, smooth¡­ Why tomorrow of all days?¡±

    ¡°Why not? Are you going to spend another day going around in borrowed clothes and I¡¯ll fitting flip-flops? Besides, it¡¯s Saturday tomorrow. It¡¯s the only free day I have if I want to take you shopping.¡±

    ¡°Why would I need you to take me shopping?¡±

    ¡°Oh. So, are you going to go shopping on your own, then?¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°No. Please take me shopping, mom.¡±

    ¡°Tomorrow it is, then. And while we¡¯re on the subject, how did you end up losing both of your legs? If you don¡¯t mind my asking. Probably shouldn¡¯t have asked about it in the first place. Forget it¡ª¡±

    ¡°Nah, it¡¯s alright. I don¡¯t have a problem telling people about it. Actually, it¡¯s a funny story. So there I was, walking down the street with my Walkman blasting the latest book on tape I loaned from the library. I was crossing the street, and out of nowhere, I see Stephen King, if you can believe it, driving, as it happens, the very same van. Suffice to say, I was flummoxed! ¡®I thought he wasn¡¯t allowed out of Maine,¡¯ I said to myself. I started in mute amazement, shocked awe, at the renowned and prolific author.

    ¡°And then BAM! That¡¯s when it hit me¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sarah asked once a couple of seconds passed with nothing else from Sam.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to be honest with you,¡± Sam said. ¡°I never settled down on the second part of that joke. You see, I had the first part down while I was still in the hospital and because everyone there knew what had happened to me, I just never really felt in a hurry to think up a punchline. And I didn¡¯t have any time to think about that these last two days. Actually, I sort of forgot about that joke until you brought that up, and it just instinctively came out of me.¡±

    ¡°So there was nothing true in anything you said?¡±

    ¡°Obviously, did the part about Stephen King not clue you in?¡±

    ¡°Why would it? I only remembered who the guy was when you mentioned he was an author. So was the part about you not having a problem telling me also a joke? I knew I shouldn¡¯t have brought it up¡­¡±

    ¡°No, no¡­ that was all true. There¡¯s no reason for you to feel bad. Look, if you really want to know; I just got into a regular traffic accident, not my fault, which, of course, never helped me feel any better about it. What was left of the legs had to be amputated. You know the drill. But anyway,¡± Sam said with an upbeat tone, trying to bring back up the mood he just brought down, ¡°that¡¯s well enough about me. What about you, huh? Any secrets that you¡¯d like to share with your new pal Sam before he starts getting on your nerves and you start wishing you never tried to help him?¡±

    ¡°Too late for that,¡± she said with a smile, which absolutely ruined her latest attempt at friendly ribbing. ¡°But are you sure that you¡¯re fine with me taking up the spotlight for the conversation?¡± Sam nodded, taking satisfaction in the fact that he successfully redirected the conversation and prevented Sarah¡¯s mood from falling. ¡°OK, wow. Is it finally time for me to talk about myself? It usually takes until the 7th date for the man to start faking interest in me. You, Sam Anders, are well ahead of the curve there; asking me about my secrets only after we¡¯ve spent together half a day.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam cried out, trying to sound dismayed. ¡°Who was it that asked you about your opinion on British politics only two seconds after our initial meeting? Not showing any interest in another human being for half a day, my ass.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right, you¡¯re right. You did ask me that one thing. I apologize.¡±

    ¡°Apology accepted! Now what about divulging some of that back story then?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I don¡¯t know. There¡¯s so much to tell you about my rich and eventful life, I wouldn¡¯t know where to begin. Anything you particularly want to know?¡±

    ¡°Yes, there is. Let¡¯s start with something that might have a direct impact on my life and is thereby of interest to me. Where did you live before coming here? Just in case I decide that the single dorm life isn¡¯t for me.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s probably going to be different for you, since you¡¯re an adult and all capable of living by themselves.¡±

    ¡°Obviously you don¡¯t me well enough yet.¡±

    ¡°You keep saying that, and yet the picture you paint of yourself doesn¡¯t align with the picture that your actions create in my mind¡­ Anyway, in my case, I lived with Maurice until I started studying here. He thought that it¡¯d best for me to grow up with someone who knows what I¡¯m going through, and he was the only Taken who didn¡¯t move around all the time. Well, there are another two, now three, but they probably wouldn¡¯t have wanted to take me in anyway.¡±

    Sam just stared at her in disbelief. ¡°Nuh-uh. Maurice? The Frenchman? The doctor? The dude that keeps calling you by your surname all the time? He¡¯s actually your adoptive father?¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t like calling me Sarah because he wants to maintain a ¡®professional relationship¡¯ while in the academy. Because god forbid, people think he likes me or anything, or they might also to worry that I¡¯ll get a favorable treatment from the academy because of him. And he¡¯s not my adoptive father! We¡¯re not a family or anything, not even a foster one. He¡¯s my friend, not my dad.¡±

    ¡°Sure. I¡¯ll take that into consideration when making jokes about the nature of your re¡ªWait a minute! Are you telling me that you¡¯re not getting preferential treatment here? Does it mean that I¡¯m not going to get any? Because you, and Maurice as well, told me otherwise!¡±

    Sarah half laughed, half sighed. ¡°We are. And you definitely will. But Maurice has his own set of values and he likes to act as though he lives by all of them. And maintaining the facade that there¡¯s something he could do to make the academy treat me better and keeping his distance because of that, is one of them.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of which,¡± she said after looking through her phone, following its buzzing. ¡°Esther finally got here and so it¡¯s time for your very important meeting. We should get a move on. The faster we get there, the faster we can find out how much the academy is going to fawn over you.¡±

 Chapter 18

    Sam followed Sarah back across the academy grounds. They were on their way to an administrative building, where the Ruler Esther Livingstone (who was a close friend of Maurice, according to Sarah) waited to test him for whether he truly was a Thread-Weaver. However, for once in his life, Sam wasn¡¯t worried about taking a test or receiving its results. If the nice voice in his head was being truthful when they conversed yesterday, then this test was nothing more than a mere formality, which served to confirm what he already knew. On the other hand, if the test results came back negative, then the voice¡¯s argument was greatly diminished. In other words, if there was nothing that would make him special enough to warrant being returned at this particular junction in time, then he had no reason to follow the voice¡¯s wishes and act as though the whole world depended on him.

    Of course, even if the AI was wrong about Sam being the promised savior, that didn¡¯t necessarily mean that he was wrong about the world needing saving. Which meant that there was no reason for Sam to change his mind after having already decided to embark on the path of warfare. After all, magic was cool, and saving people¡¯s lives from evil was even cooler. And frankly, the safe and structured environment promised by the academy was much more alluring to Sam than the prospect of having to figure out this new world all on his own. It was the same reason why liked his university days. Enough to extend them by two years at least, despite his much lower opinion of the academic world they were built upon. They delayed the time in which he would have had to step out into the real world and decide what it is that he was going to do with his life.

    There was the possibility of him failing the test and being barred from attending the academy as a result, whispered his anxiety, despite him already being informed that wouldn¡¯t be the case. Thankfully, Sam was able to get over this anxious worry without having to result to pointing out its irrationality (that never worked) by a marvelous usage of doublethink. Being relegated to a regular civilian life wasn¡¯t actually all that bad. And because he wouldn¡¯t even be able to blame himself for this result, there was no reason to feel bad afterwards!

    His internal musings were cut short when he and Sarah arrived at their destination. Two flights of stairs later, they were standing outside of conference room 223. ¡°You¡¯re ready to head in?¡± Sarah asked him.

    Sam just nodded and opened the door. Inside the room were three people sat on the side of the table further from the door. Jesus Christ, it¡¯s like I walked into a job interview. If anyone asks me where I see myself in ten years, I¡¯m going to walk out. ¡°Ah Sam, Ms. Khan, you¡¯re here. Please take a sit.¡± Maurice gestured towards the empty side of the table. I swear to god man¡­ they better not ask me to explain why there is a gap in my resume.

    He and Sarah, who was to take a part of the proceedings by default apparently (not that Sam had a problem with that), took their sit at the young side of the table. Sam sat opposite the sole woman of the trio, Esther presumably, and Sarah, to his right, opposite Maurice. Esther was much taller than her two companions and, despite her high status, was wearing very casual clothing. The other stranger, sat to Esther¡¯s right, wore a proper suit and tie and was busy scribbling in a notebook.

    ¡°Dan?¡± Sarah said as they were sitting down. ¡°When did you get back?¡±

    ¡°Two days ago actually,¡± said the suit wearing stranger, stopping his scribbling for just the moment. ¡°It was still up in the air whether I was going back, but¡­ Your friend¡¯s arrival made the choice clear to me.¡±

    ¡°Are you the other guy that had a sleepless night on account of me wanting to join the academy?¡± Sam asked. Dan smiled and nodded, managing to keep writing despite staring straight at Sam.

    Maurice cleared his throat. ¡°Sam, let me introduce you to Esther Livingstone and Dan Ritter. Esther is here to examine you for being a Thread-Weaver, and Dan is¡­ from the academy¡¯s administration. Do you have any questions for any of us before we begin?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sam said. Let¡¯s get this over with.

    ¡°Great!¡± Esther called, as she leapt from her sit and started floating over the table towards Sam. ¡°Just tell me in case you¡¯re uncomfortable, no need to be polite at my expense.¡±

    ¡°OK,¡± Sam said, whose face was now mere centimeters away from the Ruler¡¯s searching hands. ¡°I¡¯m uncomfortable.¡±

    ¡°Already? I haven¡¯t even begun examining you.¡±

    ¡°Why does the examination require physical contact of any kind? And even if it does, you¡¯re supposed to explain what you¡¯re doing and why it¡¯s necessary. You don¡¯t jump straight away to caressing people like their some exotic animal,¡± Sam said.

    Esther, meanwhile, went from floating in the air like some cheap vampire to sitting cross-legged on the table right in front of Sam. ¡°I just wanted to check if there was something different about your body that maybe Mauri missed. You¡¯re our first Thread-Weaver Taken after all.¡±

    ¡°While that does sound like a valid excuse, that¡¯s not going to fly with me. Consent. Ever heard of it?¡±

    ¡°I figured it would be alright. Mauri told me how open you are, joking about the size of your privates and what not¡ª¡±

    ¡°Hey! The jokes I tell about my dick are between me and the person I told that joke to. This is a serious breach of doctor-patient confidentially, I¡¯ll have you know. Sarah, tell them.¡±

    ¡°Tell them what? I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯ve already told me five different jokes about genitals, and we only met yesterday,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°I¡¯ve only told four, and only if we¡¯re counting the joke I¡¯ve told the soon to disbarred doctor and the joke I¡¯m going to tell now. Make sure you¡¯re writing this down, Dan. But before that, what and why are you writing? If I¡¯m allowed to ask.¡±

    The gray-haired man looked up from his notebook and said, ¡°I¡¯m taking notes of the meeting.¡±

    ¡°OK,¡± Sam said. ¡°Why are you doing that, and why, for god¡¯s sake, are you using a pen and paper? Did humanity lose the knowledge of those typing machines they used in courtrooms and, for some reason (sexism) only by women when you see them on TV?¡±

    ¡°No, they are still around, and in use by all genders, as far as I know. But I simply prefer to write like this. And as for your first question, it¡¯s so I could reference this conversation later when building your program. I probably won¡¯t, but it¡¯s better for my nerves than doing nothing all meeting. But rest assured, the contents of this meeting will not leave this room without your say so. I prize the privacy of our students most highly.¡±

    ¡°Oh, for fuck¡¯s sake Dan,¡± Esther said. ¡°Rub more salt in the wound. Why don¡¯t you? I already said I was sorry, didn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°No you didn¡¯t,¡± Sam said. ¡°Now, if you all would please listen to a whole other joke about my junk, only this one is not completely self-derogatory. Sarah, drums please.¡± Sam got up and found himself eye to eye with Esther.

    ¡°No, sit down.¡± Sarah pushed on his shoulder.

    ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll sit down. But I won¡¯t let us go back on topic until I¡¯ve exhausted any and all topics related to my unmentionables and the egregious breach of my personal space that has been perpetrated here. Now, may I please proceed with making a farce of these proceedings?¡±

    Sam took a look around the room, making sure he could proceed now that he was committed. Esther leaned forwards, so that she was still at eye level with him and floating a little too close for Sam¡¯s comfort, a big smile plastered on her face. Sarah was pointedly staring ahead with her hands crossed. Maurice was simply looking on impassively. And Dan was still writing in his notebook. What¡¯s he writing about now? No one¡¯s saying anything.

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Sam said, ¡°all I wanted to say on the topic of my, excuse my vulgarity, girth and length. Is that it¡¯s true objective state is not up to speculation by anyone other than myself. And as myself, AKA, the only person who¡¯s ever had access to the complete package in its full visage. I assure you all; my dick, just like that of any other hot-blooded male, is at the very least larger than average. And as long as I don¡¯t accurately measure it, and don¡¯t inquire as to what the actual penis average size is, no one can say otherwise. By the way, this is not the first time that I told either of these two jokes. The second one is really an addendum to the first. I just got too overwhelmed yesterday and forgot to deliver it as well.

    ¡°Now¡­ how the hell did we get on this whole bit? No, thank you Sarah, you don¡¯t need to remind me, for I have the memory of a slightly offended suburban housewife. I was simply asking as a segue. The reason we all started talking about my penis¡ª¡±

    ¡°Mostly you though,¡± Sarah interjected.

    ¡°Fair enough. Anyway, the reason is, you!¡± Sam pointed accusingly at Esther. ¡°You dredged up a joke that I made in the privacy of a hospital room during a conversation with my attending physician. Now I will skip discussing this tremendous affront to my right to privacy and the great harm brought upon the Hippocratic oath. We¡¯ll save this for another time, just between you and me.¡± And he pointed at Maurice and then back at himself.

    ¡°I¡¯ll happily oblige,¡± Maurice said before Sam could launch back into his multi-directional rebuke. ¡°But I feel that I should let you know beforehand that no lines of medical etiquette were crossed as a result of my actions. In fact, I never actually told Esther anything regarding the details of our conversation. She must have learnt about your joke your joke from the transcript.¡±

    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

    ¡°We had a transcript? I don¡¯t remember agreeing to one. When did you even write it?¡±

    ¡°It was recorded. I asked you specifically whether you were fine with me recording what we talked about while drawing your blood. You said yes. You must¡¯ve been distracted. I apologize. I should have made sure that you heard me.¡±

    ¡°Was our conversation recorded as well?¡± Sam turned to Sarah.

    ¡°What? No!¡± Sarah almost jumped out of her chair.

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Strictly speaking, there wasn¡¯t any genuine need for you to be recorded at all. It¡¯s just protocol. Originally, the protocol was created to help ascertain whether the new Taken poses a security risk for the republic. But even then, no one took it that seriously. In practice? It¡¯s just used in order to help build your psychological profile. Very useful when you¡¯re dealing with teens who had just recently gone through great trauma.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m not being recorded now, then?¡± Sam asked, mentally shaking his fist at the word protocol. ¡°Aside from the guy furiously scribbling my every word, that is.¡±

    ¡°Would you consider yourself an enemy or a threat to the Terran Republic or its allies in the Web?¡± Esther smiled mischievously.

    ¡°That depends. Are you people going to treat me with the dignity and respect that I deserve as a human being? Or are you going to keep trouncing on my rights and invading my personal space?¡±

    ¡°I feel like this is pointed at a particular someone, but I just can¡¯t figure out who¡­¡±

    ¡°Other people¡¯s transgressions not withstanding.¡± Sam ignored her and turned to Maurice. ¡°I must offer you my apologies. I have accused you of acting unjustly, unjustly, and for that, I apologize.¡±

    ¡°No apology necessary,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Besides, like I said, if you don¡¯t remember agreeing to be recorded, then I¡¯m the one at fault.¡±

    ¡°Yes, well¡­ I wasted enough of everyone¡¯s time already. We should get a move on, no? The reason why we all gathered here today and what not?¡±

    ¡°Right, yes,¡± Esther said while getting up (or was it down?) from her floating position. Towering above Sam, she asked, ¡°Is it all right if I touch you?¡±

    Fighting the urge to give the only reasonable answer to that question, considering the circumstances, Sam simply responded by saying, ¡°Go ahead.¡±

    The Ruler proceeded to examine both of his hands, taking each of his palms in hers and scrutinizing them for a couple of seconds. She then placed her hand on his chest (above the shirt) and moved it around for a bit. Finally, she held his head in both hands and looked directly into his eyes. Sam definitely didn¡¯t like that part.

    All throughout the examination, Sam felt like he¡¯s at the wrong place. As though he went down the wrong corridor and instead of going to a regular yoga practice he went to the one lead by a twenty-five-year-old woman who just returned from her eight years trip to Nepal, who insists that she needs to open all sixty-two of your meridians before she can begin imparting you with the wisdom of Gaia.

    In other words, he was promised cool shit but got bullshit instead. Not one iota of whatever magic felt like going in or out of his body. Nothing beyond the touch of another human being on his skin. Granted, that by itself was almost a foreign sensation considering his strict Hasidic lifestyle. But breaking orthodox religious customs aside, the whole ordeal didn¡¯t help any with Sam¡¯s impostor syndrome. Was he supposed to feel something? To stop Esther¡¯s prodding because she was hurting his Thread-Weaving body? Was there anything he should have been seeing, like the faint blue lines that first prompted Maurice to reach his deduction?

    He was stopped from spiraling further into self-doubt and good old obsessive anxiety by Esther, taking her hands off of his head and clapping them together. ¡°Done,¡± she declared.

    ¡°And?¡± Sam prompted her when she took longer than three seconds to respond.

    ¡°You have a regular body, unfortunately.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m¡­ not a Thread-Weaver?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Oh, no. I mean, no, I don¡¯t know yet. I didn¡¯t check you for being one.¡±

    ¡°Then what the hell were you checking?¡±

    ¡°Alright, alright, no reason to get angry. I told you, I had to check if you if your body was special, like ours is. Rulers I mean.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ¡­ Whatever. Can we just get on with the actual examination, then?¡±

    ¡°Sure, sure. Let me just make sure what I¡¯m supposed to do.¡± She flowed back across the table, towards her seat.

    Sam looked around in confusion, and Sarah seemed to mirror his feelings. ¡°You don¡¯t know what you need to do for the test?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Obviously I know¡­ I¡¯m just making sure that I¡¯m going to do it right. It¡¯s my first time doing something like this, you know. After all, Thread-Weavers don¡¯t grow on trees. And it¡¯s the elves who get to deal with ours.¡± After rummaging around in her bag for a bit, she took out a single piece of paper and set about reading it intently.

    All of this didn¡¯t inspire any confidence in Sam. What could be so complicated about the exam if Maurice was able to assume Sam¡¯s ability by the fact that Sam was able to see blue lines where there weren¡¯t any in Maurice¡¯s eyes? Couldn¡¯t she just wave her hands around, do magic or whatever, and see if I can see it?

    Eventually, Esther seemed satisfied that she digested every bit of information written on the paper in her hand and she put it down on the table. She then made her way back around to tower above Sam once again (although she gave him more space this time). ¡°Alright,¡± she said, ¡°just stop me when you can see what I¡¯m doing.¡±

    She started slowly moving her right hand around with, judging by the look on her face, intense focus. Sam was pretty sure he was supposed to see something other than the Ruler just moving her limb, but it was always best to make sure. ¡°Um¡­ you¡¯re moving your right hand?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but are you not seeing anything else? The threads I¡¯m changing? Try and really focus,¡± she said. Sam didn¡¯t know what he was supposed to be doing, so he just squinted his eyes as though that was somehow going to help him see magic. A minute went by and Sam was still just staring at a woman waving her hand around. ¡°Nothing?¡± Esther asked.

    ¡°Yeah, sorry,¡± Sam said. He really was trying his hardest, but other than tightening his sphincter, he wasn¡¯t able to achieve anything different. When another minute went by just the same, Esther threw up her hands in frustration, grumbling about ¡°not doing it right.¡± She went back to her sit, this time forgoing the floating and hopping across the table instead. After picking back the paper back up, she started pacing around with it clenched tightly in her hands.

    ¡°Goddamn it! I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing wrong!¡± She crumbled the paper up and threw it at Maurice¡¯s head. The doctor ably dodged the parchment and, after straightening it out, began to read it himself. Things aren¡¯t looking so good, Sam thought. What if I really am not a Thread-Weaver? If that voice made a mistake? They were actually supposed to take Sam Andres. That¡¯s the problem.

    ¡°Why are you sure that the problem¡¯s with you?¡± Sam gave voice to his worries. ¡°I mean, doesn¡¯t it make more sense that you¡¯re doing everything right and I¡¯m just not able to see it? Seems much more likely that I¡¯m not able to do something than that you¡¯re unable to do something.¡± He twitched about in his chair, trying to avoid eye contact with the Ruler who had her hands on her hips or Sarah who was looking at him with worried eyes. For a guy who¡¯s so used to taking the piss out of himself and passing it off as no big thing, Sam¡¯s last lines were a really poor showing.

    ¡°No, don¡¯t be an idiot,¡± Esther said, while rubbing her temples. ¡°If you weren¡¯t a Thread-Weaver, then you wouldn¡¯t have been able to see the inner workings of an artifact when Maurice was barely able to discern them.¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re so sure of me being a Thread-Weaver, then what¡¯s even the point of this examination?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. That¡¯s what you¡¯re supposed to do with Thread-Weaver. That¡¯s what the protocol is. Call a Ruler to make sure they¡¯re really seeing threads and not making stuff up. Then the Ruler should also try and ascertain just how proficient with the Sight the new Thread-Weaver is. Upping the complexity of the threads until the Thread-Weaver can¡¯t tell the difference between them.¡±

    ¡°Who told you all of this?¡± Maurice asked while looking up from the paper.

    ¡°The same guy that had me write down his stupid, useless instructions! He said that the test is very important in order to determine how best to train a young Thread-Weaver. But! Then he said that if it showed Sam as being more talented than his niece that he¡¯ll have him killed! That stupid asshole! I¡¯m betting it was all a prank he¡¯s pulling on me. Farris, you fucking jerk!¡±

    ¡°Now, now¡­. Insulting your boss, or in this case, your boss¡¯s boss, never helped anyone who wasn¡¯t planning to quit, anyway. I¡¯m sure that his highness was earnestly trying to help you.¡±

    ¡°He said that if it turns out that Sam wasn¡¯t a Thread-Weaver in the end, then he¡¯ll have him killed for wasting his time!¡±

    ¡°OK,¡± Sam said, ¡°is that Farris guy joking? Cause I want to know whether to be worried about my life, or appreciative of his sense of humor.¡±

    ¡°He is,¡± Maurice said.

    ¡°Deadly serious,¡± added Esther in a tone that told Sam all that he needed to know. It seems that I¡¯m not going to get killed just because I annoyed someone important just yet. Although, what a way to fucking go. Making some asshole¡¯s niece look bad by something out of my control. Up till today, I¡¯m pretty sure the only way I could¡¯ve made a woman look bad is by photo bombing her.

    ¡°He is not,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Stop trying to scare poor Sam. Try and focus on how to conduct the test.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know how to do the bloody test!¡± Esther yelled. ¡°If I knew how to do the test, I wouldn¡¯t have had to go asking the elves for help, now would I? And I¡¯m doing just what he told me: ¡®Use a thread connected to the Thread-Weaver in question in order to create the type of thread easiest to discern.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Something must be wrong, then. Sam saw the threads that I barely could. There is no possibility of him not being a Thread-Weaver. We just have to figure out what the difference between the two cases is.¡±

    ¡°Oh that¡¯s great¡­ Really helpful. So the only thing I need to do in order to find out why I¡¯m wrong is to find out why I¡¯m wrong.¡±

    Sam leaned in to whisper in Sarah¡¯s ears, which, considering the distance between their chairs, meant that he¡¯s butt was squarely in the air. ¡°Do you think it¡¯s too late to say that I was joking, and that I was actually able to see the threads?¡± But before Sarah was able to complete her whirl towards him, he said, ¡°Just kidding. I was trying to ease your tension. It always sucks to see your parents fight.¡±

    Sarah¡¯s response was stopped by the clearing of Dan¡¯s throat. An action that called all eyes in the room towards the man who momentarily stopped his writing. ¡°Esther¡­¡± he said. ¡°Did you take into account that Sam has yet to awaken? Of course, I would be the last person to lecture anyone on threads, but it seems to me that without being able to sense magic, one could also not see threads so easily.¡±

    Esther facepalmed. ¡°Of course! I¡¯m such a fucking idiot. I got flustered by Farris and I forgot to mention you being a Taken! Idiot! Obviously you wouldn¡¯t be able to see the threads I manipulated. The only reason you saw the ones from the artifact was that it directly interfaces with your core.¡±

    ¡°There you go. Just have to manipulate a thread that extends directly from Sam¡¯s core. Or¡­ you could use this.¡± Dan took the same artifact that Maurice tested Sam on yesterday and threw it to Esther. ¡°And check whether he sees the same threads that you do.¡±

    Esther nodded, and once again advanced on Sam, thrusting the artifact into his open hand. ¡°Alright, tell me what you see. In detail.¡± Sam complied. Trying to give as accurate a description of the different squiggly lines that emanated from the artifact despite his god-awful skill with visual description.

    ¡°Still level 0, then?¡± he asked after a click from the device announced its job was complete.

    ¡°Hush now, and what about this thread here?¡± Esther turned over the artifact and pointed to a section they hadn¡¯t covered yet. Sam described it to her, using his finger to trace how it looked to him because he didn¡¯t see any meaningful difference between this line and all the others with which to describe it.

    ¡°So?¡± Sam asked after she took back the artifact from him and handed it to Dan.

    ¡°Your Sight is just as good as mine, if not better. No two ways about it. You¡¯re a Thread-Weaver.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam wagged his finger at Maurice. ¡°Didn¡¯t you tell me the same thing yesterday? What are the chances, huh guys?¡±

 Chapter 19

    Sam cleared his throat. Sure, his stupid joke didn¡¯t land with anyone, but its main purpose was complete. Hiding the elation and relief that he felt after having his doubts assuaged. ¡°Anyway, now that my unearned talents are officially confirmed. Where do we go from here?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good question,¡± Esther said, returning to her sit. ¡°But it¡¯s not in my purview, I¡¯m afraid. I was just here to test you and now my job is done.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, not in your purview?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°You¡¯re a Ruler. Who else could teach him about threads?¡±

    ¡°Plenty of people. Other, older Thread-Weavers. Level 10s trying to become Rulers. Very talented level 8s and 9s. Take your pick.¡±

    ¡°You pick! You can¡¯t just leave Sam hanging without a teacher.¡±

    ¡°Obviously not. He¡¯s practically guaranteed to be a Ruler if he applies himself. But I¡¯m not in charge of his studies. It¡¯s up to the academy how to educate him. Of course, there isn¡¯t really all that much to think about. Right, Dan? Aren¡¯t all Thread-Weavers just sent to study in Larsus?¡±

    ¡°What?! You want to shuffle Sam off to the elves? That¡¯s ridiculous!¡±

    ¡°Well, not right away, sure. Let him spend the next half a year being brought up to speed and then send him to the Royal Academy once their school year starts.¡±

    Sarah shot out of her chair, but Maurice held his hand to placate her. ¡°Surely some other arrangement can be arranged,¡± he said. ¡°Can¡¯t you, for example, be the one to teach Sam what he needs to know about threads?¡±

    ¡°When?¡± Esther asked. ¡°I¡¯m being redeployed in two weeks. You¡¯re gonna ask George or Alia for help? Didn¡¯t think so.¡±

    ¡°What about level 10s? Last I heard, both Luke Haffer and Hao Jingway were just on the cusp of becoming a Ruler.

    Esther scoffed. ¡°That¡¯s just an official designation meant to allow them longer periods of absence from the front lines. Trust me, they¡¯re not going to make Ruler anytime soon.¡±

    ¡°Are those real people?¡± Sam whispered to Sarah.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know everyone there is to know.¡± Sarah gave him an incredulous look. ¡°Although I do know Hao. But only because he¡¯s the younger brother of one of the teachers here.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m guessing that the older brother isn¡¯t a Ruler. Does that mean that he¡¯s a lower level than his younger brother? Oof...¡±

    ¡°You are correct,¡± Dan said. ¡°He¡¯s level 8. But it¡¯d be a mistake to let his brother¡¯s higher level make you think any less of Lin. He is one of the best, if not the best, spearfighters we have teaching in the academy. And besides, if the two of them were to fight, it¡¯d be a tossup as to who would win.¡±

    ¡°Lin would win,¡± Esther said. ¡°No question. Hao is too level focused. But¡­ as I was saying, there is no one who¡¯s knowledgeable enough about threads to teach Sam available.¡±

    ¡°What about the Rulers switching places with you?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°No,¡± answered all three people arrayed opposite him. Sam looked at Sarah for confirmation. She shook hers in agreement with the group.

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter,¡± Esther said. ¡°That¡¯s not my point. Even if it were other Rulers instead of those two. Even if it was me staying here for the whole three and a half years of Sam¡¯s studies. I still wouldn¡¯t be able to teach him. There¡¯s a difference between teaching a level 10 about threads in order to help them become a Ruler and teaching a sub-level 1 Thread-Weaver. After all, there¡¯s a reason why we delegate the teaching of all of our Thread-Weavers to the elves.¡±

    The conversation momentarily stopped there, everyone presumably wondering how to solve the current dilemma. Which made Sam feel really fucking bad. He didn¡¯t like people fussing over him so much. Reminded him of the weeks following the accident when everyone that spoke to him did so while trying to assure him everything will turn out fine. Turns out they were right. Well, he was fine; they were dead.

    However, what he really hated was that it wasn¡¯t just fussing over him but deciding his fate. And unlike how he was used to living, as of yesterday, his life or death and future endeavors actually had an effect on the world at large. What would happen if they reached the wrong decision? Waste his potential and doom everyone alive? Although, from the sound of it, for now, there was really only one decision to make.

    ¡°Look¡­¡± Sam said with a feigned shrug. ¡°Sure, I¡¯d probably prefer not to move to an even more alien environment. But, if that¡¯s the only option open to us, then so be it. Can¡¯t let my brute luck go to waste, right?¡±

    ¡°Nothing is going to waste,¡± Dan said, stopping his writing completely for the first time. ¡°But it is out of the question to demand of you to further remove yourself from the world you¡¯re used to.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your alternative then?¡± Esther asked.

    ¡°Ideally? That the elves send one of their tutors here to personally teach Sam. Anything but private instruction would be a waste anyway, so why not make everyone¡¯s live easier and have the would be teacher stay here.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re not going to agree to that.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see. I¡¯ll schedule a talk with Farris for tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to bring it all the way to him?¡±

    ¡°Why not? I don¡¯t know why he was the one to answer your request for information, but protocol dictates that he is to be our liaison in the matter, no? Besides, someone has to inform him that our new Thread-Weaver is also a Taken. After all, while he might not care about the former; we all know that isn¡¯t the case with the latter. And those two together¡­¡±

    Esther blushed. ¡°Alright! I get your point. I already said it was my bad and that I¡¯m sorry, didn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°You did not.¡±

    ¡°Fine. Whatever. I¡¯m sorry! Now, is there anything else you need me from me or am I free to go? I have a meeting with Portal Command in an hour that I¡¯m not going to be late too after I¡¯ve finally got Bogani to stop ¡®meditating¡¯ and do her job.¡±

    Dan and Maurice exchanged looks. ¡°I¡¯ll text you if something else comes up,¡± Maurice said.

    ¡°Great! Sam, it was great to meet you! Hopefully next time we meet it will be in a less official capacity and we can actually talk with each other.¡± She then bid all of them a personal goodbye, extracting a hug from Sarah and a reluctant one from Maurice. Sam hid behind Sarah¡¯s back when it came his turn, and Esther just smiled and mouthed ¡°next time.¡±

    ¡°She likes you,¡± Sarah told Sam.

    ¡°Must be something wrong with her then. Must be something wrong with all you lot, letting me just go off on a tangent whenever I feel like it.¡±

    ¡°Look at this from our perspective,¡± Maurice said. ¡°It¡¯s very likely that one day, in the not too distant future, you¡¯d be powerful enough to be our boss. If that¡¯s the case, it¡¯d best behoove us to ingratiate ourselves to you as much as possible.¡±

    ¡°Are you serious? Or¡­ was that an actual joke?¡±

    ¡°He wasn¡¯t serious,¡± Sarah said. ¡°But it also wasn¡¯t a joke.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand¡­ what other mode of conversation is there then? Wait, never mind, I shouldn¡¯t waste people¡¯s time any longer. Anything else we need to do today?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s up to Dan,¡± Maurice said.

    ¡°Nothing else that I need from Sam currently. Nothing much that I can tell him until I finish building his schedule. But, in short, my plan for you currently is to have enroll in the academy next year.¡±

    Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!

    ¡°What, you mean as a first-year student?¡± Sam asked. ¡°What am I going to do meantime then?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to make up for your deficit in knowledge. Currently, it¡¯s not only half a year of studies that make the gap between you and the rest of the first-years, but also six years of learning about magic in some form or another.¡±

    ¡°OK, but how long can that take? I mean, we¡¯re talking about teenagers.¡±

    ¡°Six years are six years. But you¡¯re right, it will probably not take you too long to make up for those years, but it will still leave you behind of the rest of the first years by at least a trimester and half. And that¡¯s not counting the gap in levels. In order to even apply to the academy, you have to be level 2 and under twenty years old. Which means that by the time next year starts, most of the year ones will be halfway to level 3, while you will be only level 1 as a best-case scenario.

    ¡°Still!¡± Sam stood up from his chair, displaying too much protest than a person in his position ought to have if you didn¡¯t know what the person in his position did. ¡°If¡­ If after I managed to make up for those six years. Let¡¯s say it will take me two months. That leaves four months for me to make up for the rest of your first school year. Sure, I probably won¡¯t be able to catch up in every department. But surely, it¡¯s possible that I¡¯ve caught up enough for me to advance to year two. As long as I make sure to supplement everything that I need to.¡±

    ¡°Sure, it¡¯s possible. If that¡¯s what you want. Then that¡¯s what I¡¯ll aim for. Are you sure that is what you want?¡±

    Sam sat back down. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Sarah narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°Yesterday you weren¡¯t sure that you even wanted to join the academy.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I just don¡¯t like the idea of spending even more time in an academic environment than I already did. I¡¯m just saying that if I do decide that the academy and the whole soldiering business is right for me, then I want to commit to it as much as possible, you know? Not waste any time.¡±

    ¡°And are you sure that this isn¡¯t going to end up with you burned out because you put too much on your plate?¡±

    Dan laughed, but Sam had an inkling that it wasn¡¯t because of him. He averted his eyes from Sarah¡¯s. ¡°Yes, Sarah, I¡¯m sure. Jeez, it¡¯s like you don¡¯t know me at all. Me burn out? Pfft¡­ Besides, I¡¯m not saying that I¡¯m married to the idea of not repeating year one. Just that I¡¯d like to avoid it if possible. Is it possible Dan?¡±

    ¡°In theory? Yes. In practice? It will depend on you. But if you want to try, then I¡¯m not averse to aiming for that goal. We¡¯ll see. Let¡¯s revisit this topic, say a month from today, and see then if you still want to keep trying and what your progress has been like. It¡¯s no skin off my back. I¡¯ll build you a schedule with advancing to year two as the stated goal and, in case that proves not practical, I¡¯ll just prune it a bit.¡±

    ¡°Great! That¡¯s a deal then.¡±

    ¡°Yes, except that it might not matter in the end, because we still need the elves to agree to sending you a teacher,¡± Sarah sullenly remarked.

    ¡°I¡¯ll handle that,¡± Dan said. ¡°Would you be alright with my sharing some of what was said today if I deem it helpful to convincing the elven authorities in your matter?¡± he asked Sam. ¡°It will still be kept strictly confidential, of course.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Sure, go ahead. I don¡¯t think I said anything more embarrassing than what is already publicly available.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Dan smiled and got up from his sit, notebook in hand. ¡°On to other matters, this is for your room.¡± He walked over and handed Sam a key. ¡°I arranged it to be the dorm building next to yours, Sarah. Couldn¡¯t do the same one, I¡¯m afraid¡­ Well, Sam, it has been my great pleasure to meet you. I will probably be too busy to check up on you tomorrow, but I¡¯m sure that you will be fine under the capable hands of Sarah. Whatever happens, on Sunday morning, at 8 AM sharp, I¡¯ll be knocking on your door. So make sure to set your alarm early. We¡¯re going to have a long day waiting for us. Until then, goodnight.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Sam said after the door closed, ¡°we don¡¯t get Sundays off? We¡¯re studying on Sunday?¡±

    ¡°I told you,¡± Sarah said, ¡°the only free day is Saturday. Besides, you just said that you don¡¯t want to waste time on not studying.¡±

    ¡°That isn¡¯t exactly how I¡¯d put it. But¡­ you¡¯re right, if I¡¯m really trying to give it my all, I¡¯d probably not rest on Sundays, anyway. The important thing is that we get Saturday off. That¡¯s the canonical holy day, after all. Also, I always liked it way more than Sunday.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the spirit. Just as long as you remember to actually take Saturdays off. I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re suddenly so hung up on finishing your studies in only two and a half years, but I¡¯m not going to let you burn yourself out trying to do that.¡± She tried to make eye contact with him, but Sam deftly avoided that outcome by inspecting the key that Dan gave him. What a pretty key. With a sigh, Sarah turned to Maurice. ¡°Would you like to join us for dinner?¡±

    ¡°Thank you, but I¡¯m afraid I can¡¯t. Some work that I have to finish today. Oh, Sam, I made sure that the clothes you picked up yesterday were delivered to your new room.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s nice,¡± Sam said. ¡°I completely forgot about those. And that I don¡¯t own any other clothes anymore. But is it just the clothes? We get bathrobes and toothbrushes from the academy?¡±

    Maurice winced. ¡°Bathrobes no, only three towels, I believe. But¡­ I forgot about your toothbrush again, I¡¯m afraid. Should I go and grab it for you?¡±

    ¡°Fuck no. I mean no, thank you, that¡¯s quite all right. Just means we¡¯ll have to buy one tomorrow, right Sarah? And at least two bathrobes as well.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± she said while getting up from her sit. ¡°The important thing is that we buy you some actual clothes and not the hand-me-downs that the hospital had lying around.¡± Maurice raised an eyebrow at that but kept silent as he accompanied them down the stairs.

    ¡°Oh, one last thing, Sam,¡± Maurice said before they parted ways outside the building. ¡°I forgot to mention, but I would like to go over your return with you again, this time in more depth. Your unique characteristics are also supplemented by unique experiences, after all. Of course, only if it¡¯s alright with you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± Sam lied.

    ¡°Great! Then I¡¯ll contact you with the date in a matter of days. Goodnight and bon app¨¦tit.¡±

    San rubbed his eyes with weariness, already dreading that conversation. He¡¯ll have to lie, that was obvious, but there was a difference between lying by not telling the truth and lying by telling not the truth. Just don¡¯t mention the voice in your head and you¡¯ll be fine. Fucker, I already mentioned the voice in my head. I can¡¯t take it back! Sure you can; just say that you¡¯re not sure what you heard and your memories are blurry. Yeah¡­ that¡¯ll probably work. I very much doubt that¡¯s going to suspect that I¡¯m lying.

    Evidently, he couldn¡¯t keep his worry off of his face because Sarah noticed it enough to remark on it. Fortunately, she seemed to conflate his current status with being concerned over his future days in the academy. However, her telling him to ¡°take it easy. One day at the time and it¡¯ll be fine.¡± Or that ¡°worst-case scenario, you¡¯ll just have to repeat year one¡± only served to worsen his mood by reminding him that he did actually have a reason to be concerned about his future days in the academy.

    After all, unlike what Sarah seemed to (justifiably) believe, Sam was in a rush. Of course, maybe there wasn¡¯t. He didn¡¯t know. All he had to go by were the words of something he assumed wasn¡¯t a result of him showing the first signs of schizophrenia.

    ¡°OK, how about this,¡± Sarah said in what would prove to be a misguided attempt to elevate his mood. ¡°It¡¯s not just magic that you have to train and learn about. You also need to work out, remember? Physical conditioning. So how about tomorrow night we¡¯ll do just that? A little workout to get the blood pumping.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say that it¡¯s going to take my body time until it¡¯s ready for regular exertion?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m not suggesting that we go for a run right now. Hopefully, by this time tomorrow, you¡¯ll be in better shape. In fact, I¡¯m sure you will. You¡¯ll see, you¡¯ll do just fine and afterwards you¡¯ll feel great.¡±

    ¡°If you say so.¡± Sam had his doubts. He also had his doubts concerning the whole prospect of working out enough to achieve combat fitness as a whole. His personality was much more geared to the avenue of using magical knowledge in order to be stronger rather than going through the rigmarole of physically hurting yourself in order for your body to improve itself. But both seemed to be necessary in this modern fantasy world. Besides, it¡¯s not like the ideal version of himself wouldn¡¯t combine the two. And one thing was certain, despite his new body, he was still a far cry from the man he wanted to be. Of course, he might have also gotten a new personality to complement his body, one that would no longer have the drive to always strive and become a better person. But¡­ if you went through all the trouble of changing my personality, wouldn¡¯t you also make me less of a whiny bitch in the process?

    Shaking his head, Sam went back to focusing on the conversation with Sarah. She was making plans for what they were going to do tomorrow and, from the sounds of it, she had big ones. He didn¡¯t bother asking her to reiterate what he missed. Not because he didn¡¯t want to offend her, he was coming to the realization that that would take such monumental effort of ill-will that even Sam would be hard pressed to do it, but just because he didn¡¯t care enough about their shopping trip to have plans of his own. He trusted Sarah implicitly to think of everything that he might need and worst-case scenario, he¡¯ll just ask her about this or that item on the day itself.

    The rest of this day, however, passed in a silent blur. Sam retreated into his mind, and Sarah was happy to let him contemplate in silence. During dinner, she verbally finished her tour of the academy and moved on to a tour of New Alexandria and New Terra itself. Sam listened half-heartedly. There would be time for geographical worldbuilding later. Right now, he was mostly concerned with all the practical bits that he didn¡¯t know yet and would have to learn in record time.

    He didn¡¯t realize how tired he really was until he opened the door to his new room. Sarah insisted on accompanying him all the way up (four fucking flights of stairs!) so Sam had to pinch himself in order to wake up and get the last tour of the day. Everything one had to know about the private dorm rooms in the academy. Which wasn¡¯t much. Especially considering Sam only cared about how to turn the water heater on and there was none to be found. Hot water twenty-four seven, Sarah promised. She bid him goodbye with a hug yet again, but not before giving him her third promise of the evening that she¡¯ll come get him tomorrow morning.

    Shambling into the shower, Sam told himself that he was going to meditate after he finished, at least for a couple of minutes before going to sleep. It might have worked, but he sat on the bed instead of on either of the two available chairs. Still half-wet, and clad in only an annoyingly sized towel, he was out before he knew it.

 Chapter 20

    Sam awoke to the sound of knocking. That¡¯s two days in a row, was the first coherent thought that went through his head. Holy shit, I fell asleep, was the second. Struggling out of bed, Sam rubbed his bleary eyes and headed towards to the door. It was a sign of his barely woken mind that no shred of social anxiety (there was, after all, a chance that the person knocking was a complete stranger) passed through it.

    Anxiety did rear its well-intending head when, a mere second from opening the door, he caught a side-wise look at himself in the bathroom mirror. He was completely naked. The towel he fell asleep in yesterday having been lost during the night¡¯s maneuvers. ¡°Just a second!¡± he called out and set about looking for his clothes from yesterday in a panic. His eyes found something else before that, however. The bundle of clothes that Maurice said he had sent to his room, arrayed neatly on the table.

    Quickly donning on the first pair of underwear and jeans his hand could find, he made his way back towards the door while squirreling in to a t-shirt. Once fully dressed, Sam opened the door and was greeted by the glorious sight of beautiful Sarah all dressed up and ready for a night out with the gals. ¡°What are you smiling about?¡± asked the sublime looking woman when she saw his wonder struck face.

    Sam cleared his throat, faking embarrassment. ¡°I was just so struck by the sight before my eyes. It¡¯s all too much for a young man to witness in the early morning hours.¡±

    ¡°What early?¡± Sarah rebuked him, forcing her way into his inner sanctum and towards the desk chair, while Sam closed the door behind her. Beauty she might be, but rude as all hell. ¡°It¡¯s already ten.¡±

    ¡°My dear lady, waking up at ten o¡¯clock on a Saturday is tantamount to getting a head start on the day. Of course, were you to wake me up even in the wee hours of the morning, I¡¯d still be delighted if it meant being able to witness you in all your glory on this holy day of rest.¡±

    ¡°Will you stop with it?¡± Sarah said while sitting down. ¡°I get that you¡¯re joking, but even I¡¯m a little creeped out.¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± said Sam while scratching his head, this time in real embarrassment. ¡°Just had this stupid joke come over me. Guess I let the intrusive thoughts win this time.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°No harm done. How long are you going to be preparing for? Want me to go wait downstairs?¡±

    ¡°Nah. I¡¯ll just brush, err, wash my teeth and my face. Feel free to lounge around, I¡¯ll only be a few.¡± Sam then went into the bathroom to finish his morning routine. Said routine was very much cut down in time, considering he had no tools for dental hygiene, and his face didn¡¯t require any topical treatments currently. Which reminded him, he¡¯ll have to ask Sarah if he can still get acne. Finishing the one duty he neglected to mention to Sarah, Sam washed his hands and face, which helped him to wake up completely and stepped back into the room.

    Sarah was looking through her phone when he came back in, but once back in view, she looked up at him with an evil smile. ¡°Oh my. What an attractive young man we have here. He¡¯s sure to make all the girls at the ball swoon.¡±

    ¡°Sarah Khan! Please, that is very inappropriate! Don¡¯t you know that only men are allowed to objectify women? You are being very crude right now. And not only that, but you¡¯ve stolen my joke! And that¡¯s not the worst thing. Oh no. The worst thing is that you butchered it by turning me into the comedic subject. All good humor needs some degree of realism. Not much, even a little, will suffice. But the idea of me being attractive to another human being is so completely delusional that it leaves the joke tethered solely to absurdism.¡±

    Sarah stared back at him with a blank face. ¡°It¡¯s like you have the opposite of a thin skin. I can¡¯t make a joke at your expense because you¡¯ll just come up with a worse one.¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily. Only if I¡¯ve managed to come up with an idea on how to make a joke upon your joke. Also, you could make fun of one of the things that I¡¯m sensitive about, that might leave me without a comeback.¡±

    ¡°Like what? Actually, never mind that. Are you ready to go?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡¯m!¡±

    They left the room and started heading downstairs. ¡°So where to first?¡± Sam asked her.

    ¡°Breakfast.¡±

    ¡°Makes sense, what with still needing to eat in order to survive. Bit of a letdown in that department, if I¡¯m being honest.¡± Sarah just smiled in response, asked him how he slept and what he thought about the room and all the other bits of small talk that are incredibly vital to a conversation between acquaintances but lack an intrinsically comedic tone.

    They made their way to the mess hall/cafeteria in record time, thanks to Sam having worked his muscles enough the previous day to manage walking slightly above ¡°rather slow.¡± And while they were in the middle of taking care of the falsely thought of as the most important meal of the day, Sarah dropped the figurative bomb. ¡°So what kind of things are you sensitive about?¡± she asked him, probably trying to find his emotional weak points in the case they¡¯ll ever end up as enemies and have to duel it out.

    Sam stopped mid-bite in order to ponder on Sarah¡¯s question. Then decided to finish the bite while continuing his pondering ways. After a while (and a sip of water) he managed to come up with an answer that won¡¯t admit any truly embarrassing stuff but will still be truthful if subjected to a test. ¡°I guess¡­ it¡¯s mostly stuff that I can control and change about myself, but I don¡¯t like about myself. Although that¡¯s not always true now that I think about it. Tsk, you know what? I don¡¯t actually know. Want to make fun of me in various ways until we find out what makes me feel bad?¡±

    ¡°Not today, thank you. Maybe next week.¡± Sam nodded in understanding, although in his mind he was ridiculing her for her soft, womanly ways. Which made him laugh a little, which in turn made Sarah eye him suspiciously. After finishing their meal, Sam followed Sarah out of the food repository and into the warm, fake sunlight.

    ¡°Where to now?¡± he asked.

    ¡°There¡¯s a large shopping center in the city, less than a ten minutes¡¯ drive. I figured we can find everything you¡¯d need there.¡±

    ¡°Oh shit.¡± Sam gulped. ¡°We¡¯re going to take a car?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Sarah replied absentmindedly, but then stopped in her place and looked at him with worry. ¡°Fuck, I¡¯m sorry. I completely forgot about that. Are you going to be OK? We can walk if you prefer.¡±

    ¡°No, no¡­ I was just surprised you guys still drive cars and all. That¡¯s all.¡± His half-hearted attempt at a laugh, not fooling anyone. ¡°Just don¡¯t ask me to drive, cause I don¡¯t have my license with me.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a driver¡¯s license at all. Was just going to order us a cab. But are you sure you¡¯re up for it? We can order online if you¡¯d prefer it.¡±

    Trying to divert the focus of the conversation away from him and his uneasiness, Sam waved her off. ¡°Nah, it¡¯s fine. Really. Don¡¯t have to worry about me. Actually, it¡¯s you I¡¯m worried about; a taxi back and forth, a huge shopping trip. I didn¡¯t know that they pay cadets this well.¡±

    ¡°Depends on the cadet, I suppose¡­ But it doesn¡¯t matter because we Taken get a lot of leeway when it comes to money. Basically, the government sorts of gives me a blank check when it comes to small purchases. So I¡¯ll be paying for you until they set you up with your own bank account and blank check.¡±

    ¡°Oh wow, cool. So¡­ how small are we talking about? Like, second-hand clothings? Or can we afford to buy me, and I¡¯m just spit balling here, the best PC on the market?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Never really had to test it. Doesn¡¯t matter. We¡¯ll buy you whatever you want and, in the worst case, Maurice will pay for it. As long as it¡¯s reasonable,¡± she added before Sam could even make a crack at that.

    Still, Sam liked the sound of being able to buy everything he wanted within reason. And it¡¯s not like he wanted anything unreasonable. Well, that might not be true. If computer parts continued in the same trajectory they¡¯d been on a hundred years ago, a top of the line computer might truly be a luxury item in the same category as a sports car. Didn¡¯t really matter though, it¡¯s not like he¡¯d have a lot of time for lazing around a desktop.

    It would be nice to have one in order to unwind, though. You can¡¯t be working all the time, right? There are studies on that and what not. Fuck, they probably came up with the optimal time allotment for every part of the day while I was gone. Something like eight hours of sleep, two hours of lazing about, an hour for bodily functions, and the rest for living up to your Aristotelian duties.

    ¡°Do you think I should get a PC?¡± He decided to lower his guard and confide in Sarah.

    ¡°If you want. I was going to buy you the same laptop I have anyway. But we can also buy you a computer that¡¯s just for fun.¡±

    ¡°Wow, a whole computer that¡¯s just for fun? Gee willikers that sounds amazeballs!¡± Sam said before he could stop himself. ¡°Sorry about that. Actually, I was more thinking along the lines of whether I¡¯ll even have free time for leisure and such?¡±

    ¡°Of course you will! What kind of question is that? They¡¯re not going to enslave you for three and half years¡ª¡±

    ¡°Two and a half, remember? That¡¯s why I¡¯m asking.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ of course. We¡¯re still on that. Well, doesn¡¯t matter what time-frame you end up working with. You¡¯re still going to need some time off. Some time to unwind. Sure, it can be very helpful to tell yourself that you¡¯re not training hard enough, that you can do better. But only as long as you remember that it¡¯s just a trick, a way to get you to run another lap or do another set. What¡¯s most important is keeping yourself mentally balanced and happy. If you break down because you pushed yourself too much, then you¡¯re going to lose a lot more time in the long run.¡±

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    Sam nodded along with her words, agreeing in principle, if not in practice. After all, who knew better than him how prone he was to letting himself off easy when push came to shove? And who knew better how hard was it going to be maintaining a balance between his tendencies and his new commitment to making sure that he won¡¯t waste even one second of the day? He also knew that if he¡¯ll buy himself a PC for pleasure, then later, he¡¯ll find it much easier to spend time letting off steam when he should have been doing something productive instead. As in, not stretch his leisure time longer than he should¡¯ve.

    It doesn¡¯t matter, I can¡¯t go head first into the deep end of the pool. I want to play games in my spare time, so I should buy myself a computer to play said games. Or, Maurice will buy me one. But the point still holds! If I¡¯ll push myself hard as I can from the get go, then I¡¯ll just burn out like Sarah said. Better to take it slow and establish a clear and manageable daily schedule that I can easily follow rather than just forcing myself to spend every part of the day training. Fuck¡­ Let¡¯s just hope that I¡¯m not dooming all of humanity in my laziness.

    ¡°Alright,¡± he said after making what will probably be the first of many concessions to his wretched personality, ¡°so that¡¯s yes on the PC front? The priciest one there is?¡±

    ¡°Whatever you want, we¡¯ll get you,¡± she said while ruffling his hair.

    ¡°Thanks mom!¡± Sam yelled, matching Sarah¡¯s energy.

    By that time, they had already reached the one of the academy¡¯s gates and after hailing a car that was waiting for them down the road, Sarah ushered him inside. Thankfully, she settled on the right and left the middle sit unoccupied; jokes about being one¡¯s mother should only go so far.

    In order to calm his himself, Sam took around the car¡¯s interior but unlike with his previous vehicle inspection there was nothing to trigger his interest. The car looked just like a car should, inside and out. The only point of interest was the car being electric. That is, unless they made some really great improvements to the acoustics of gas engines.

    Just like the engine, the drive passed in blessed silence. The driver opting not to engage with his clients. And Sarah choosing to only to look over worriedly at him every half a minute, apparently having decided that he preferred not to talk. She was bang on the money with that one. It would have been an impossible task to hide his nervousness if forced to partake in playful conversation. Sarah¡¯s luck ran out as soon as they got to their destination, however. Once out of the confines of the car, Sam suddenly found his interest in conversation thoroughly reignited.

    The first talking point that came to his mind was his discomfort with their current location. Just like cars, it appeared that shopping centers survived the apocalypse without much change. Loud, bustling, gaudy, and filled with advertisements; there was no place like the mall to remind Sam to thank god for the creation of online shopping. And this was just the entrance, the parking lot, the outskirts. The true danger laid deep within the labyrinthine nightmare that was consumerism made manifest.

    ¡°Clothes first?¡± Sarah asked him as though they were not on the precipice of falling victim to decadence and idolatry.

    ¡°Alright,¡± answered Sam, because they weren¡¯t, and he couldn¡¯t think of any joke just right now. The enemy was just too strong. Fortunately, Sarah, brave steadfast Sarah, glorious indomitable lady Khan, knew how to navigate through the dark lord¡¯s (or lady¡¯s. Sam was an equal opportunity fear-monger) domain. ¡°You come here often?¡± Sam asked and then clenched his fist in self-anger at what he just uttered.

    ¡°Once or twice. Twice actually. This is my third time. One time with some friends from class, later when I wanted to buy some stuff for myself, and then there was the time when I had to¡­ no, never mind,¡± she finished with hesitation.

    ¡°Oh, come on. You were going to make a joke at my expense, I just know it! I have a great deal of experience when it comes to the moments before people are going to laugh at me, owning to the many years I suffered minor bullying as a child. This won¡¯t do, I won¡¯t have it! You had something mean to say, and you¡¯ll say it. I¡¯ll stop here and throw a tantrum if you¡¯re not going to be yourself because you¡¯re worried about my fragile ego.¡±

    ¡°Actually, I¡¯m not really someone who likes to make fun of her friends. I was just trying to act in the way with which you¡¯ll be most comfortable.¡±

    ¡°Wait. Are you insinuating that I¡¯ve been a bad influence on you? Are you saying that I, dare I say it, have been corrupting the yute?¡±

    Sarah let out an annoyed grumble. ¡°Alright, what I wanted to say before, is that the third time I came here I was babysitting a guy who¡¯s older than me.¡±

    Sam had a big smile on his face. ¡°See, now that¡¯s not so bad, is it? A good, harmless joke at the expense of your newly acquired friend, going by your words, not mine. I¡¯d never assume I was someone¡¯s friend without their explicit say so. And what¡¯s more, it even corresponds nicely with the comment I made about throwing a tantrum. Talk about two great minds think alike, eh?¡±

    Sarah just nodded her head in response. Although, unless Sam was completely incompetent (always a possibility when it came to his every endeavor) in reading facial cues, she did seem to feel better. Probably as a result of Sam¡¯s behavior, confirming to her that he was himself feeling better. She¡¯s a really nice person. I really fucking hope I¡¯m not making her hate me or something. That¡¯s the problem, isn¡¯t it? How do you know when you¡¯re acting funny annoying or when you¡¯re just being annoying annoying?

    In order to calm his worries, Sam opted to use one of the oldest tricks in the book when it came to making other people like you: asking them questions about themselves. ¡°So friends, huh? Anyone I¡¯d know? Anyone I should know? Are they going to accept me as a new component of your social clique?¡±

    ¡°No one you¡¯d know, obviously. Probably, also no one you should know. It was just a couple of people that I¡¯ve made friends with during the first trimester of the first year. We¡¯ve drifted apart since then.¡±

    ¡°Oh. I¡¯m sorry for bringing it up.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like I¡¯m some kind of social pariah. I¡¯m doing just fine in the social department, thank you very much. Besides, now that I got you around, and all the responsibilities that go with it, I very much doubt my ability, or need, to maintain a wide circle of friends.¡±

    ¡°What are you saying?¡±

    ¡°Well, time wise, I¡¯m going to be spending a lot of time with you. And that¡¯s time that I can¡¯t spend with other people. Not that I¡¯ll want to mind you. I already told you, having someone like you around as a friend was a very common wish of mine in the last eight years.¡±

    ¡°Oof,¡± uttered Sam from between his teeth, having just had a spark of enlightenment go through his mind. ¡°I¡¯m just¡­ I hope you don¡¯t think that you and I can really be friends. Now, don¡¯t misunderstand me, it¡¯s nothing against you, I just don¡¯t believe that man and women can be friends with each other. And it¡¯s nothing to do with the possibility of romantic attraction bullshit, either. It¡¯s just that men are inherently superior to women¡­ and so you can¡¯t really have a genuine friendship because that requires an equality of status between all parts. And you and I just can¡¯t have it, what with me being better than you on account of my gender.¡±

    ¡°Ooh, do go on,¡± Sarah said with a smirk.

    ¡°Gladly. You know how females have two of the same chromosomes while males have one X and one Y?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m familiar with the concept.¡±

    ¡°Good. But do you also know that chromosomes, like all monads of the same kind, are equal in value to one another, so that one X is equal to other X and they¡¯re each equal to one Y? It¡¯s true, look it up. But only after I¡¯ve had a chance to review the source, make sure it¡¯s reputable. Anyway, our conclusion as to man¡¯s superiority to woman¡¯s, stems from the fact that although all things in equal amounts and of the same category are equal in value, said value per thing depreciates with each added item of the same kind. Thus, we are left with the knowledge that a pair of the same chromosome, are lesser in value than a pair of differing chromosomes. XY better than XX, and so man, better than woman. That¡¯s simple math. Which men invented by the way.¡±

    ¡°Interesting¡­ But how would you explain the fact that every fetus starts as a female and only later becomes male if the chromosomes align?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you asked that. And I¡¯m even more glad that you know that because it lets me prolong my joke. Listen here then, it¡¯s a very simple answer: The female form is the base form of the human being, as you¡¯ve correctly stated. But, the realm we¡¯re talking about is one where the platonic ideal is inverted. It is not the basic form which is greater than the form that extends from it, but quite the opposite. The new, built upon form triumphs over the generic module. Meaning that it is the male form which stands over its female predecessor. In other words, just like a shonen protagonist, the human body is able to power up into a stronger version of itself. That is the male. The male body is necessitated by the female¡¯s past existence, true, but just like how a Super Saiyan builds upon the regular monkey Saiyan, the male body is the objectively better state to be in.¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± exclaimed Sarah, awed by Sam¡¯s display of both knowledge of nature and creativity as displayed by his using of such a simple metaphor that even a woman would be able to understand it. ¡°So according to you, is there even any hope for me in my current state? Could I circumvent my inferiority by transitioning into a man?¡±

    ¡°Yes, you could! For while it is the objective difference in biology between man and woman that makes a man better in the natural state. We are no longer living in the natural state, having transitioned eons ago into a post social contract environment. In such an environment, it is only the spillage of man¡¯s intrinsic superiority to woman¡¯s that paints for us a society in which men are socially constructed to be better than women. In this modern man¡¯s world, the objective difference between male and female is no longer descriptive, but constructive. So it is the gender which determines one¡¯s position in the social hierarchy, and not the sex.¡±

    ¡°But isn¡¯t it possible for us to create a society in which men and women are truly equal?¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m afraid not. And while Hume may indeed criticize me for such a position, I must consider the practical state of the world. Perhaps, ideally, in a perfect world, society will truly be such in which men and women can stand equal to one another. But, we are not living in the ideal perfect world, but in the cold, gray (fantasy) reality. And, such is reality that since the male human being is greater than the female human being, and since we humans are a pattern recognizing animals, we will always know that man stands above woman. And thus we will always be unable to build ourselves a society in which men and women stand side by side.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­¡± said Sarah in a low tone, deep in contemplation. Sam knew what she was going through. The day in which you discover yourself to be inferior to the other members of society is a hard one. Sam still remembered when it happened to him. He had just leaned to think and recognize his own existence, and that¡¯s when it dawned on him. Yep, he had said in his mind (not in those words exactly, seeing as he had yet to learn to speak), I¡¯m no good. Sucks I was born as myself, wish I was someone else, anyone else (he had not yet been aware of the difference between the sexes or socio-economic positions to know that such a wish was way too stupid).

    Seeing Sarah still keeping silent, Sam started getting a little uncomfortable. ¡°Would you please, say something in disagreement so I can get off of this stupid argument I¡¯ve forced myself onto?¡±

    ¡°Why would I?¡± Sarah wondered in innocence. ¡°I¡¯ve found everything you¡¯ve just told me utterly convincing. In fact, I was just in the middle of lamenting the days in which I¡¯ve spent trapped in this inferior form of a human being.¡±

    ¡°Oh, come on! Now you¡¯re just being cruel! What if some little kid has been eavesdropping on our conversation this entire time? Do you want little Timmy or Timmona to walk away thinking in such a way?¡±

    ¡°In the correct way, you mean?¡±

    ¡°Argh, you¡¯re killing me here! No! Don¡¯t walk away Timmy, don¡¯t go! I was just joking! No¡­ it¡¯s too late. He¡¯s already become an incel. Look what you¡¯ve done, woman!¡± He stared accusingly at Sarah.

    ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± She smiled and pointed behind him. They were indeed here, seeing as before him were arrayed all sorts of different shops, each one offering all sorts of different clothes. Dammit, he thought while shaking his head. He¡¯ll have to criticize Sarah for going along with his sexist joke too much another time. He just had to hope poor Timmy would see the fault in his new ways. Or that access to firearms was well regulated.

 Chapter 21

    Putting poor Timmy behind him, Sam followed Sarah into one of the stores, unconsciously adopting a defensive posture. The weirdest thing was¡ªin an ironic twist of the constant that was the societal change in the aspects of fashion¡ªthat Sam didn¡¯t see anything weird inside. Just like most other aspects of humanity that he¡¯d come across, the store and its wares were all too similar to his eyes.

    ¡°I think we should get you about ten to twelve pairs of clothes for normal wear, and double that for sportswear, but we¡¯ll buy those at a different shop,¡± Sarah said once they were inside.

    ¡°Ten?¡± Sam squeaked. ¡°Isn¡¯t that a bit much?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s so you won¡¯t have to spend a lot of time doing laundry more than once a week. Oh! We also have to buy you some sleepwear and something nice for formal events. And a hat! And a watch. Hold on, let me look at my phone. I¡¯ve written it all down yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Hold your horses. We¡¯ll buy everything that a poor English waif could want. And if we¡¯ll forget something, well, you¡¯ll just have to order it online for me. But before that, I¡¯m still stuck on the amount of clothes, I mean twelve? That¡¯s a bit much. Where would I even find space for all that fabric?¡±

    ¡°If I have enough space in my dresser for all of my clothes, then you will for all of yours. Besides, we¡¯re not deployed yet, you know that, right? You don¡¯t have to go two days in a row wearing the same clothes if you don¡¯t have to¡­¡±

    ¡°Not all the clothes, just the pants¡­ And the socks; for when it¡¯s winter and I haven¡¯t been outside or worked out.¡±

    Sarah shook her head at him. ¡°We¡¯re buying you twelve pairs of clothes, end of story. Now, what do you want to pick first?¡±

    And so, they went through the store, and when there weren¡¯t enough items in the first one, they moved on to another. They wouldn¡¯t have had to move if Sarah hadn¡¯t demanded that he won¡¯t buy two identical items. Thankfully, she extended the same allowance that she herself had for socks to him as well. Only she still forced him to buy a couple pairs of fancy ones for formal events.

    When they finished with the items for everyday use, Sarah had them move on to buying clothes for all the different kinds of weather one might encounter in their corner of New Terra. And when that was done, they moved on to clothes dedicated to be worn while exercising. Here, Sam¡¯s lack of previous experience prevented him from standing up to Sarah¡¯s tyrannical ways. But eventually Sarah went too far, and he had to put his foot down.

    ¡°Three pairs of shoes?¡± he asked incredulously. ¡°Nuh huh, no way. I¡¯m but a simple boy, with flat feet. That¡¯s just a single pair of shoes for me, thank you very much.¡±

    ¡°You no longer have flat feet,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°True enough. But let me counter, why do I even need three different pairs of shoes? Who am I trying to impress here, the heir to the Hapsburg claims?¡±

    ¡°One pair is for everyday use, the other is solely for running, and the last one is for formal events.¡±

    ¡°OK, I let you pull the formal events card so far, but it stops here. What formal events could I possibly go to?¡±

    ¡°Meeting royalty,¡± she said and thrust the pair of formal shoes for him to try on. And that too, was that.

    By that point, all their ill-begotten goods were starting to weigh heavily on Sam¡¯s newly made, measly muscled arms. He tried bearing it in silence, focusing on the fact that despite the humiliation of being so burdened by just items of clothing, everyone has to start somewhere. But he didn¡¯t put up any resistance when Sarah ¡°offered¡± to take most of the load off of him by grabbing some of the bags.

    From clothing, they moved on to any and all other items that a modern man of the 22nd century ought to have. And ooh, boy, did they break the bank. A laptop, a PC with only the best accessories (to be delivered some time next week), a phone, a smartwatch, headphones (two pairs; one regular, and one to compliment Sam¡¯s running shoes), and pretty much anything else that Sam wanted or Sarah wanted Sam to have. They even bought one of those really expensive electric toothbrushes that Sam always wanted to try out in order to see why it was ten times the price of the regular kind. By the time they finished their entire shopping spree, it was afternoon, so they sat down to eat a belated lunch.

    Filling their bellies to their satisfaction, the pair was left without any more duties tying them to the modern marketplace. Struggling with his bags once again, Sam noticed with dismay that at this point, Sarah was bearing the greater burden of his new acquisitions. However, his apprehension at letting himself off easy, before he even began his training, was gone by the time they made it outside and he was almost out of breath.

    During the drive back, they kept themselves occupied (and Sam distracted) by setting up his new electronic items, mainly his phone. With the end result being a device that had everything (if not more) that Sam¡¯s old one had, with the exception of a much shorter contact list. Once back on campus, they continued bringing Sam up to date with the 6th century while at the same time arranging all the new purchases inside his room (and by god, if he didn¡¯t hate those fucking stairs before, he did now).

    Sam followed Sarah¡¯s instruction as she led him through the differences between the technology he was used to and what was currently used. Which mostly surmised to roughly the same things just under different names. Gone were most of the old programs and sites he was used to, replaced with modern post-apocalyptic alternatives, which usually just meant the same piece of tech just with a different name and theme.

    By the time they finished setting everything up, and Sarah brought Sam up to speed on everything that a modern city boy ought to know about the computer, the sun was already setting. Sarah brought up the conversation from yesterday, their promise to work out today, and Sam had to confirm three times that he was willing and able to do it. Mollified, Sarah left him with a promise to meet downstairs in twenty minutes. Couldn¡¯t have been twenty whole minutes just to change, because that only took two minutes of Sam¡¯s time. Sarah must¡¯ve needed a grace period, some time away from Sam, in order to calm down and avoid ending the day by crushing his windpipe.

    With nothing left to do but wait, Sam found himself laying listless on the bed but quickly got up once he realized what he was doing. I still don¡¯t have that magic spell to let me fall asleep, so better not to ruin my sleep hygiene just yet. Which was a funny thing to worry about considering that just four days and a hundred years ago, he was spending most of the day on the same bed he was sleeping in.

    He got up to sit on the desk¡¯s chair, and opting not to mess any more with his laptop just yet, he took out his phone and started messing with it instead. Which, almost immediately, ended up with him listening to Here Come¡¯s the Sun on repeat, closing his eyes and leaning back. Despite everything, Sam had to smile. He had been thinking about this moment ever since he realized how deep in the shit he found himself in. Not having his usual sanctuary of music was taking its toll on his weary, familiarity seeking mind. Finally, he could lay back, and let his designated emergency song soothe his wounded soul. There will be time for different songs later, but right now, he had a hundred years of the song¡¯s strategic reserves (the HCTSSR) to put to good use.

    ¡°Ah, fuck it¡­¡± He muttered and plopped himself back on the bed, phone nestled closely to the top of his head. Remembering at the last second to set up an alarm for a minute before he had to get down, he closed his eyes and let his mind drift wherever it would take him. The first and second loops, even part of the third, involved him singing along with George Harrison. But by the fourth, the music and lyrics were becoming background noise to guide his troubled mind along its lonesome drift.

    Eventually, the alarm rang out from somewhere above him and he was forced back to reality. Turning it off, he let the phone continue its music while he went to wash his face and have some water. He filled one of the water bottles they bought halfway, drank it, and then filled it once again to the brim. Pocketing his phone, he regretfully turned off the music, and after making sure four times that he had his key on him, started making his way downstairs.

    Sarah was nowhere to be found outside of neither his dormitory building or hers. Which meant she either abandoned him, left him behind and gone to make some new and better friends, or she hadn¡¯t come down yet. Both options left him feeling very disappointed with his new friend. I mean, who makes a plan with someone and then ditches them? Or even worse, doesn¡¯t arrive on time? I swear, if she wasn¡¯t my only friend on this new side of reality, I¡¯d¡­ well, I won¡¯t drop her, her ability to stand me is too great for me to give up on her being my friend, but maybe a reprimand will be in order.

    Yes¡­ a good old-fashioned reprimand, perhaps something sexist, or maybe¡ª

    ¡°Sam?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?!¡± he shot back at Sarah, trying to mask his surprise.

    ¡°Are you alright? You were just standing there, staring at the ground.¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm. That¡¯s how I do my best thinking. The downcast man. I call it.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ ready to go?¡±

    ¡°Right behind you.¡±

    ¡°Great. So I think that for today, we¡¯ll do just cardio, maybe some core exercises, we¡¯ll see. But since your body is still not up to snuff, I promise that we¡¯ll take it easy for now.¡±

    ¡°Sounds good. Hopefully I¡¯ll manage. And hey, how about this? First time working out without asthma, it might just turnout to be much easier than what I¡¯m used to.¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    It didn¡¯t. Turns out that not having a respiratory problem doesn¡¯t equal having a great lung capacity. He didn¡¯t understand just why did his royal pronouned kidnapper couldn¡¯t also make his body a little better right off the bat. I mean, they could give me new legs¡ªand even new lungs, I guess¡ªbut they couldn¡¯t make them the same as an Olympic runner¡¯s? That¡¯s just bullshit is what it is. I¡¯m going to have some words with that asshole next time I see them. And if they tell me it¡¯s so that I could also strengthen my will or some bullshit like that, I¡¯m punching them right in my head!

    Unfortunately for him, try as he might, raging in the private confines of his mind didn¡¯t make the task before him any easier. Despite being cured of all physical ills, he was in even a worse shape than he was used to from the periods in his life (most of them) in which he didn¡¯t bother even thinking about working out. The end results was him being short of breath just as a result of the warm-up exercises that Sarah ran him through. An hour and a half later, and a minuscule number of laps finished, pushes upped and workings outed, Sam sat, legs stretched forward, on the cooling ground and wished that he was once again unable to feel his lowermost regions.

    ¡°It¡¯s really weird,¡± Sarah said from above him. ¡°You¡¯re in much worse shape than I expected you to be. Probably because you¡¯re an adult; it takes your body longer to acclimate.¡± The beads of sweat gently rolling along her body were nothing compared to the great puddle Sam was wallowing in. She had to make multiple runs to the nearest water fountain in order to keep him from becoming the product one finds in Swedish tin cans. Sam looked at her in undisguised but obviously faked hatred. Not only did she completely wring him out, but she also had the gall to workout alongside him, finishing a million sets for every one of his. Completely emasculating, and not in the good way.

    ¡°You ain¡¯t seen nothing,¡± Sam said with just the minimal amounts of animal-like grunts. ¡°Back in my heyday, I could finish a lap like this, if I gave it my all, in even double the time it took me today¡ªOw!¡± She pushed him on the back, forcing him lower than any human being should ever go.

    ¡°At least you¡¯re pretty flexible, right?¡± she asked, while continuing her violation of Sam¡¯s human right to avoid being tortured. He was already holding on to his right leg. What more could she want from him? Finally, it seemed she remembered that today was the blessed Sabbath and released him. ¡°C¡¯mon, now the second leg,¡± she said, malice dripping out of her voice like cold butter on frozen toast.

    ¡°Let it go, woman! This is madness! It is the folly of man what you¡¯re asking of me.¡± And yet he still bent toward his other leg, hoping against hope that this time Sarah won¡¯t make him go past the point where it only sort of hurt to the point where it really hurt. Nope. Further down he went once more. However, what Sarah didn¡¯t know, and so couldn¡¯t use to hurt him, was that he was always more flexible with his left leg than his right. Wait, scratch that, he used to be more flexible with his left leg. The one good trait his old body possessed, and it was stolen from him.

    One eternity later, ¡°See? Not so bad, right?¡± said the smiling devil by his ear. ¡°You¡¯ll thank me tomorrow when you won¡¯t wake up all paralyzed.¡±

    ¡°Actually, I won¡¯t because human beings, and me being of course a fine specimen of the species, aren¡¯t very good at recognizing cost that went into preventing damage as a positive, we just see that as a loss. So tomorrow morning, you¡¯ll find me cursing your name because I¡¯m not aware of the fact that I ended up better off than the alternative due to the hardship you put me through.¡± At least that¡¯s what he tried to say. In reality, he gave up midway after falsely proclaiming himself to be a fine human being.

    One would hope that Sam¡¯s great show of restraint, by not speaking his mind, would be reciprocated by an act of mercy and compassion. But one would be wrong. For the hellspawn that was Sarah Khan knew not of these simple Christian virtues. On came the butterfly, fluttering its wings down and down again. And when Sam¡¯s own hands refused to carry on with their illegal orders, Sarah¡¯s hands were there to replace them, pushing down like the scabs they were.

    ¡°Alright, now the hands,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Fine.¡± Sam had no recourse but to agree. He was a broken man. Also, his hands didn¡¯t really hurt. But mainly because he was broken, having lost the will to resist like the unrepentant sinner in hell. Two minutes later, he was lying with his back to the ground, trying to decide what hurt him the most. Sarah sat beside him and started going through the very same stretches that she led him through. She made it look so easy, the bastard, and Sam knew that despite the further bending, she wasn¡¯t on the receiving end of the same amount of punishment that she had doled on him.

    He watched her in silence as she went from position to position. He really was fucking sore. However, he still had to pat himself in the back. Figuratively, of course; from today onwards, his hands will never be able to reach his back side. All jokes aside, he was feeling proud of himself. He pushed himself, or let Sarah push him, really far. Despite this not being anything close to his most extraneous work out objectively. Subjectively, he was sure the only time he ever came close to pushing himself as far as he did today was that one evening he went running after Minnie had died.

    However, unlike that time, letting his emotions supplement his mental will in the ordering of his physical self forward didn¡¯t end up with him feeling any better. There was no catharsis at the end of today¡¯s exertion. Emotionally, he was left feeling just the same as he did before setting out on the first lap. Maybe it was because he wasn¡¯t actually spurred on by his emotions, but by the minor parts of himself that were devoid of enough of his vices to count as his rationality, his logic. He pushed himself today not because it made him feel better (or more accurately, less worse) but because¡­ Because¡­

    Because I have to¡­ I have to. Well¡­ do I really have to? Or is it also because I want to? Goddammit, why are you bringing up this whole topic? It¡¯s not going to lead anywhere. And it doesn¡¯t matter, what¡¯s done is done and I¡¯m going to do what I¡¯ll have to do. For now, let¡¯s just hope that I¡¯ll be able to stand up tomorrow. Heh, now that¡¯s a problem that¡¯s good to have.

    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s get you up,¡± Sarah said, herself already up. Not knowing whether to grunt or sigh in response, Sam just grabbed hold of her hands and pulled himself upwards. Although he was pretty sure that Sarah did the bulk of the lifting, he was still left breathless (after having just recovered to panting) by the time he was back to standing on two very flimsy (but oh so fucking real) legs.

    Having apparently recognized the wretched state that he was in, Sarah gave him her shoulder to balance on. ¡°How about I¡¯ll help you to your room and while you¡¯re taking a shower, I¡¯ll go and wash up as well before going to grab us dinner?¡±

    ¡°I like the sound of all of that, expect the parts that involve me moving my body parts.¡±

    ¡°Great. Let¡¯s go.¡± She had to help him all the way back to his room. The first part of their journey, the great trek back to his dorm, passed fine enough. But then they were met with the greatest obstacle of Sam¡¯s life, the stairs.

    ¡°You know¡­¡± Sam said. ¡°I¡¯m just now coming to realize it, which only goes to show you how hard it is for people not to take things for granted, but this building isn¡¯t very handicap accessible, is it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a military academy for magical combat. I don¡¯t think they took people who have trouble walking up the stairs into consideration when designing the dorms. I¡¯m sure that the three non-combat oriented academies are built to a more accommodating standard.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good to know. But it doesn¡¯t help us in this particular junction.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just gonna have to tough it out.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah. Cause that¡¯s what I¡¯m good at: toughing shit out. Or¡­ here¡¯s an idea: How do you feel about taking back the phrase ¡®princess carry?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± she said and started making her way up the stairs. Forcing Sam, who was reliant on her to keep himself upright, to follow in her footsteps. Up they went. And when that wasn¡¯t enough, they went up once more. But guess what? That wasn¡¯t enough, either. Oh no, that was still short of their goal. So they struggled on once more, Sam from being in constant agonizing pain and being forced to endure even more hardship. And Sarah from being constantly at Sam¡¯s side and being forced to endure, constantly being at his side.

    Finally, they reached their goal, and Sam had a moment of genuine fear when he reached into his pocket and found nothing. Fuck, he started to panic just as Sarah inserted the key into the lock. He had given it to her after it fell out of his pocket for the second time. With the door now open, Sam left Sarah¡¯s side and trudged on to the bathroom. From behind him, Sarah said, ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll be back in a couple of minutes¡­ Don¡¯t lie down!¡± before closing the door behind her.

    Taking off his sweat drenched, previously sparkling, brand new clothes and throwing them in the laundry hamper, Sam stepped into the welcoming confines of the shower. Safely ensconced under the hot water current, he tried to keep his movement to a minimum, hoping that the water alone would somehow do the work his hands were the only available tool for. When eventually his skin started turning too pink, he came to terms with the fact that he¡¯d have to take action himself. So he turned down the heat a little and began the scrubbing processes.

    Ten minutes later, and after forcing his body¡¯s temperature down by dosing it with cold water, Sam was dressed and wondering where should he sit. The bed was the ideal position, with its inviting depths. But there was a danger in the bed as well. One small misstep and he¡¯ll find himself fully sprawled out and bidding the day farewell. The chair it was then. He could also use this time to meditate, a feat yesterday¡¯s last conscious moments proved he would not be able to accomplish on the bed.

    He decided not to set a timer for this session, instead staying still until Sarah came back, however long that will take. Back straight and legs where he felt least bothered by them, Sam slipped into the almost futile endeavor of not getting lost in his wandering thoughts. He achieved only limited success in the process and was in the midst of a very deep think about whether it was right that he spent so much money during the day¡¯s shopping when a knock on the door made him flinch in surprise.

    Slowly, agonizingly, he got up and towards the door, letting Sarah into the room. She was carrying two trays filled with food, and set the two of them on the table. ¡°Didn¡¯t know what to bring you, so I just brought the same as mine. Hope that¡¯s all right.¡± Opening the cover and not seeing anything that he would consider malicious, San nodded his head.

    They sat down to eat, each lost in thoughts. Sam¡¯s mostly consisted of worrying about having to clean up after them. And the room at large. And the bathroom. And doing the laundry. But all those other worries could wait. What truly worried him was the prospect of bugs. Little critters coming out of the walls in search of the scraps of food that Sam had missed in his cleaning. ¡°Hmm¡­ is the building fumigated? Or do I need to buy some anti-roach spray? Oh fuck, speaking of sprays¡­ fucking mosquitoes, forgot to buy anything against them. Are there many here, or will I be able to leave my window open in the summer?¡±

    ¡°I think they spray the buildings every couple of months. At the very least, I never saw a bug inside of my dorms. And mosquitoes, you¡¯ll be happy to hear, are among many the species of animals that are now extinct. Yeah.¡± She smiled brightly at seeing Sam¡¯s bulging eyes. ¡°Obviously, no one wanted to bring them here from Earth. And as it turns out¡­ there aren¡¯t any mosquitoes living on any other worlds in the Web, or at least those that we know of.¡±

    ¡°My god, Sarah! If you weren¡¯t a woman, and personal boundaries didn¡¯t exist, I could kiss you right now!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have to thank god that I am and they do then.¡± She laughed.

    ¡°Indeed. I¡¯m not kidding when I say that this is the best news I¡¯ve heard in the last couple of days. You really ought to have led with this. ¡®I¡¯m sorry to tell you, but there was an apocalypse; billions died and Earth is destroyed. But mosquitoes don¡¯t exist anymore!¡¯ I mean, it almost seems like a worthwhile bargain. Hey, I said almost.¡±

    Once they finished eating, Sarah gathered up their plastic trays and cutlery in order to throw them in the trash chute out in the hallway. She spent the rest of the evening once again guiding Sam around the internet and everything that had changed since the last time he was online.

    Eventually, Sarah bid him goodnight, promised and extracted a promise that they were going to meet up tomorrow, and reminded him to set his alarm early due to his appointment with Dan. Closing the door behind her, Sam was left alone with only his digital devices and the world wide web for company.

 Chapter 22

    Since it was still early enough at night, and he was still feeling pumped up from working out, Sam decided to start working on the long and arduous, yet of utmost importance, task of getting his playlist in order. He would not finish it today, of course, but starting the endeavor will help him feel like he wasn¡¯t wasting his time, and he also won¡¯t say no to some good tunes that weren¡¯t under strict rationing.

    Half an hour, and barely even a hundred songs later, he was interrupted from his important work on the laptop by the chiming of another digital device. The phone¡¯s screen showed a message from one of his three contacts (courtesy of Sarah)¡ªDan Ritter, Mr. School Administrator himself, reminding him of their meeting tomorrow and to set an alarm in kind.

    Sam sent back a thumbs up. He had already set an alarm, but what he forgot was to make a mental note to be angry tomorrow morning at having to wake up at seven thirty and not at the much superior time of eight o¡¯clock sharp. ¡°Although, I really shouldn¡¯t complain about having to get up at any time after dawn.¡± He sighed. ¡°I¡¯ll probably have to wake up every day at six or something, having gone to sleep at four.¡±

    ¡°That would be ill advised,¡± droned an all too familiar voice inside his head, making Sam jump out of the chair.

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Sam called after taking the time to calm himself, which also helped him remember that despite speaking with him telepathically, the alien entity couldn¡¯t even read his mind. ¡°Look who¡¯s finally kind enough to grace us with their presences. The world¡¯s most famous AI kidnapper, themselves. Have you had a good rest, your majesty? Or should I schedule you for an info dump at a later date? Next year perhaps? Or maybe even next century? We all know how much you love to wait a hundred years to do things, don¡¯t we?¡±

    ¡°Your derision towards us is misplaced.¡±

    Sam scrunched his face and wondered whether his visitor will be able to see it. Hell, even if they will, will they understand it? ¡°Please, do elaborate¡­¡±

    ¡°You are angry because you believe us to have acted against your interest in bringing you here¡ª¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    ¡°But, we have saved your life. If you had stayed on Earth in your time, you would have surely perished during the world¡¯s integration.¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    ¡°So it should be clear that despite not acting with your wellbeing in mind, we had still acted in the way which would benefit you most.¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±

    ¡°Then there is no reason for you to find fault with our actions,¡± the kidnapper concluded, in a tone that, despite not being any different from before, still sounded smug.

    ¡°Just one problem. One teeny tiny problem. It seems to me¡­ that it is your assertion as to the misplacement of my anger that is, in fact, the misplaced mental substance. You see, I do not agree that it was my feeling towards your violation of my freedom of movement that drove me to speak to you in such¡­ a deriding tone, to use your words.¡±

    ¡°We fail to see what other action of ours could have driven you to adopt a negative opinion towards us. We have only acted upon you in this one manner.¡±

    ¡°That does put us in some kind of pickle. With me being rightfully angry at your behavior and with you being completely ignorant of your faults. What a terrible, social knot we¡¯ve tied ourselves in.¡± Sam then sat back down in the chair and, resting his legs on the bed, waited for his hallucination to continue speaking.

    ¡°Whatever your point of contention with us, we are sure that you can put it behind you so that we can focus on the bigger picture. Our time here is limited, after all.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you say that. But you also don¡¯t seem to have a problem with playing along with me in this verbal spar that we have going on. Meanwhile, last time we spoke, you were all too smitten with the idea of delivering information as fast as you can. Like a cat who wakes you up at 2 am cause he really wants you to know that he ate from one of the plants; just spilling everything out. Contrast then, with your behavior now, content to just let me blather on despite claiming that you¡¯re on borrowed time.¡±

    ¡°Are we to understand then that your disfavor with us has arisen as a result of our hurried conduct during our last meeting?¡±

    ¡°My, what a novel idea¡­ I hadn¡¯t even thought of that. Yes¡­ yes¡­ I could see how that would make me unhappy with you. Especially considering you were nowhere to be seen, well, heard rather, yesterday or even most of today, since we¡¯re pretty close to tomorrow by now.¡±

    ¡°While we could have spoken with you yesterday, or today, we believe that the best time to speak with you is when you are all alone. This has been the only opportunity so far. In any case, what you must remember is that every second we speak with you now is a second we won¡¯t be able to speak on a later occasion. We must act frugally when it comes to our conversations.¡±

    Sam scratched his head. ¡°So it makes even less sense that you spent all your precious seconds placating me today. Why not just come up with a monologue beforehand, tell me to write it down, and then fuck off until next time you¡¯re needed to drive the plot forward?¡±

    When the voice didn¡¯t immediately respond, and when a couple of seconds turned into a minute, Sam started to wonder whether their time for today was up. If it is, then I fucked up, majorly. Just couldn¡¯t keep your stupid mouth under control, could you, Sam? And now who knows when they¡¯ll contact me next? Fucking hell, I¡¯m an idiot. Next time¡ª

    ¡°Our purpose in initiating this conversation is to manage your state of mind. We did not believe that this could be achieved by any means other than direct interaction. After reviewing your proposal, we are still under the impression that conversational engagement is the best way to keep your mood optimal for the task ahead.¡±

    Sam let out a long breath. Letting go of some of the tension created from the fear that he had wasted a limited resource. ¡°OK¡­ so how much time do you have¡­ available for this planned conversation of yours?¡±

    ¡°We have allocated enough energy for this engagement to last a fair while, but we believe that our goal can be achieved much faster in the case that you respond perfectly to our suggestions.¡±

    ¡°Yeah? How¡¯s that going for you?¡±

    The voice paused. ¡°Not well. You are the first sentient being we have directly interacted with, and your behavior never matches up with our predictions.¡±

    Sam started drumming his fingers on the handrest of the chair, hesitant about how to proceed with the conversation from here on. On the one hand, I really want to just¡­ I don¡¯t know, wail on this asshole and tear them a new one. But that¡¯s not going to help anyone, not even me. And you got to give it to the little guy¡ªGuys? We¡¯re gonna have to get to the bottom of that. That¡¯s the first priority. Second priority is to just listen to what they have to say without making any snide comments. Like I said, you got to give it to the little bastard; their first time speaking with anyone and they landed on yours truly. That can¡¯t be easy. Hell, sometime I have trouble speaking with myself. So let¡¯s just¡­ take it easy, open-minded and all that jazz. There will be time to rage and lash out and ridicule later. For now, I got to make every second count, so let¡¯s just have them cram me with as much knowledge as they can until it¡¯s time for the carriage to turn back into a pumpkin.

    Evidently, his socially challenged head squatter (not that Sam was any bright jewel) decided to wait for Sam¡¯s response because not a peep was heard from them until Sam spoke up. ¡°Right, OK¡­ I realize that I might be¡­ somewhat to blame for the¡­ difficulties that have arisen during our conversation. But from now on, I promise to zip it. And only talk when you¡¯ve indicated for me to do so. One question though, I know you said that you decided not to monologue, but are you really sure that I shouldn¡¯t be writing this down?¡±

    ¡°According to our observation, you did not write anything down during any of your other conversation in the last three days.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but that was just talking, you know? I¡¯m assuming that you¡¯re going to give me something more important to work with, no? Like a lesson in magic, some tips and tricks, maybe a secret or two that no one else knows, that sort of things.¡±

    ¡°No. The purpose of this interaction is to regulate your mood in order to assure your successful completion of your academy training.¡±

    ¡°Right, and part of that is to give me something to work with that will help me close the gap with other people my age.¡±

    ¡°We have not planned to educate you in any matters regarding to magic. Our time is much too limited for that and we do not posses any knowledge that you won¡¯t be able to gain while studying here.¡±

    ¡°So no tips?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°No tricks?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Then what the hell are we going to talk about? If you¡¯re not going to give me any¡ªFuck. No, never mind. Just answer my question.¡±

    ¡°We initiated this conversation as a result of your decision to adopt a very unhealthy sleep schedule. It reinforced our fear that you are going to push yourself too far and too fast in regard to your training. The end result would be a great loss in productivity when compared to the alternative which we have planned for you.¡±

    Sam winced in annoyance. It seemed as though everyone had their own idea for what¡¯s best for him. And while having one person telling you what to do when you¡¯ve got no direction is nice and all, half a dozen people giving conflicting directions was a real nuisance. ¡°So you want to tell me not to deprive myself of sleep? That¡¯s real smart. And here I was planning to adopt a meth addiction in order to withstand the Sandman¡¯s call.¡±

    ¡°Your proposed sleep schedule is just one facet of your displayed behaviors that causes us to worry about your mental state.¡±

    ¡°Just want to pipe in here to make sure you¡¯re aware that my joke about sleep was just that. Other than that, do go on.¡±

    ¡°That may be so, but according to our observations, a person¡¯s humor can also reveal their true beliefs.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ and did you also observe this person¡¯s humor at about¡­ a couple of hours ago? Cause I¡¯d really hate it if you just thought I was a sexist twat, instead of knowing that for certain.¡±

    His night time visitor took another pause just then, which only caused Sam to berate himself once more. Fuck. Why do I keep trying to provoke this asshole? Something about them must irk me or something. Or maybe it¡¯s just that I don¡¯t see them as a person, so nothing prevents me from being as venomous as I want in order not to hurt them. ¡°Look,¡± he called out to the empty room, hoping to get this conversation back on track, ¡°it doesn¡¯t matter what I said or didn¡¯t say. What¡¯s your point? Get to that and we can go from there.¡±

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    ¡°Very well. Our worry is that in order to live up to the role we have assigned for you and informed you about two days ago. That you will push yourself too hard in too short a time. With an end result that could prove catastrophic. Slowing down your progress in the best case, and resulting in permanent mental or physical injury, perhaps even death, in the worst case. We¡¯ve already informed you as to your status concerning the upcoming development in the war, so it should be clear why we¡¯ve placed your wellbeing at the top of our concerns.¡±

    Sam bit his lips. ¡°As touching as it is to be at the top of your concerns,¡± goddammit Sam, stop being an asshole, ¡°you¡¯re giving me all sorts of mixed signals. How can I be, on one hand, this valuable strategic asset while, on the other hand, I¡¯m to be coddled and prevented from hard work? It¡¯s like you want Napoleon to become emperor, but you won¡¯t send him to study in Paris. Can¡¯t have your cake in Corsica while eating Europe as well.¡±

    ¡°There is a difference between working hard and working yourself ragged. And you must make sure not to steer too far into the latter. That is what we¡¯ve hoped to convey to you today. You must ensure to keep a proper balance between your physical and mental health to the resources and time you dedicate in order to improve your strength.¡±

    ¡°Motherfucker, how can there be any sort of balance when the fate of the world¡ªno, scratch that, when the fate of multiple worlds is at stake? ¡®Ooh, I¡¯m feeling mighty tired today. Really went to town on those barbells last night. Better take it easy today.¡¯ Fast forward to a year later and it¡¯s just that single workout that makes the difference between smashing the bad guy¡¯s face and having mine smashed instead.¡±

    ¡°That is a very unlikely scenario. But even were it not, it is paramount that you maintain a balance. It is our aim to help you with this aspect.¡±

    Sam threw up his hands in frustration. ¡°You know what will help? If we¡¯re already talking and you¡¯re already signing yourself on as a sponsor for me. Give me a time frame. Just a window of when things are going to happen and how much time I have to get how strong, and when shit¡¯s really going to hit the fan. Not even a date. Just say, ¡®Sam, you¡¯ve got twenty years to work this shit out, so don¡¯t worry about it.¡¯ Or maybe, ¡®Sammy boy, you¡¯ve got only until next year to become the strongest person alive. Get to work, buddy.¡¯ Really, any time frame would do. Just so I¡¯ll know whether to keep at it or give up hope.¡±

    ¡°That would be irresponsible to do, as we do not posses the required information to make an accurate assessment. We do not have access to the knowledge that led us to the conclusion that the war will end in the Epirak¡¯s favor.¡±

    ¡°Why the fuck not?¡± Sam said with gritted teeth.

    Then came another pause. ¡°We do not know.¡±

    ¡°Fuck me¡­¡±

    ¡°We believe that this is due to the difference in the ability to store information we possess in this form when compared to our previous one. And that we had to make a choice between what information to take with us and what to leave behind.¡±

    ¡°And you decided that the war¡¯s conduct is what? Better experienced as a total surprise?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps knowledge retaining to that aspect took up too much space, and we were unable to transfer it. We hope that this was the case; that our lack of knowledge was planned and not an unforeseen development.¡±

    ¡°Yeah no shit. Is there anything else that you remember that you don¡¯t remember?¡±

    ¡°Yes, there are many other various topics in which we are aware of gaps in our knowledge. But we have judged them not crucial for our plans in aiding your personal development. Which supports our theory that our current state of ignorance was premeditated.¡±

    ¡°And how would you know? What if one of the nuggets of wisdom you¡¯ve misplaced had to do with a way to power me up immediately because tomorrow is judgment day?¡±

    ¡°That does not seem plausible. If such a path was available, then we would most likely be aware of the possibility of its existence due to its immense influence. Furthermore, if we had such a method open to us, why we would have need of you?¡±

    ¡°OK, now you¡¯re beginning to sound like my mom. Don¡¯t forget that just like I didn¡¯t ask to be born, I also didn¡¯t ask for you to kidnap me.¡± He took a long breath, having lost his train of thought on account of his compulsion to make jokes. ¡°So, no knowledge about the war. No knowledge about the future. Nothing about anything that could be construed as an unfair advantage if were talking about a strictly individual based system of distributive justice. Is there anything that you can tell me that I should know?¡±

    ¡°There are many things we would like to tell you, but we do not have the time for all of them. That is why anything that you would be able to learn from another person we will refrain from teaching to you. As for the information we have decided to bestow you with; it has all been organized already in an optimized plan and¡ª¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯ll tell me anything I need to know when I need to know then? Except that the one thing I do need to know and asked you about, you can¡¯t even tell me. Cause you didn¡¯t pack enough HDDs into your luggage if I got to the gist of your bullshit excuse. Oh, and the only thing you did tell me, besides that you follow in Socrates¡¯ footsteps, is that I should just relax, take it easy, don¡¯t sweat the possibility that by next Christmas I could be the only thing standing between humanity and total annihilation. ¡®Remember Sam, it¡¯s more important that we keep your fragile little ego all coddled up and safe from harm, than to take the chance that we¡¯ll break it by removing some of your TV time in order to train you up to save humanity.¡¯ Did I get to the essence of the little therapy session that we¡¯ve been having or should I throw in some Freudian shit as well?¡±

    ¡°Our aim in initiating this dialogue has been to calm your worries and assure you that you will be able to rise to the occasion.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, no shit I¡¯ll be able to rise to the occasion. I¡¯m not worried about that. At least not anytime soon. I¡¯ll either make it or I won¡¯t, which means dying and thus having no reason to fret. It¡¯s all the stuff until then that I¡¯m worried about. And since you¡¯re not able to tell me whether I should start writing my will today or ten years from now, I got to tell you: job very much not well done on the calm Sam front.¡±

    Getting annoyed with himself and the whole situation, Sam got up from his chair-bed combo and began pacing around the room. And while it was a pretty good room for a lone student, it didn¡¯t have much going for it in regard to pacing space, which only served to annoy Sam even more. With no response coming once again from his socially inept guest and, much more importantly, with his tired legs beginning to voice their displeasure, Sam eventually tired himself out and sat himself on the edge of the bed.

    ¡°You still there AI buddy?¡±

    ¡°Yes. We are simply formulating a hypothesis that will hopefully serve to answer your question of a time frame.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s nice. Real swell of you, pal.¡± Another minute passed in silence, it seemed that the hypothesis was going to take some time to full cook. ¡°You know¡­ I¡¯ve been thinking, since I just have all this free time waiting for you to calculate your answers. And I¡¯ve come to the realization that I just can¡¯t keep this relationship going without a name to call you by. What do say there friend? Any name you¡¯d like your old victim Sam to call you by? Maybe a pet name from your childhood sweetheart? A nickname from your parents? Or perhaps, an homage to your favorite author?¡±

    ¡°We do not posses possess a name as we were not given one following our creation, and we did not and do not see the utility in choosing a name for ourselves.¡±

    ¡°How about this for utility? By having a name, it¡¯ll make it easier for me to treat you like a human being.¡±

    ¡°We are not a human being.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re also not a hot, ultimately well intentioned, demon chick, but you don¡¯t see me complaining about that, do you? We got to meet each other somewhere in the middle, wouldn¡¯t you agree?¡±

    ¡°Very well. If having a name will ease your ability to engage us in dialogue, then we recognize the benefit of the change.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ that¡¯s me: the weirdo who finds it better to know the name of the person I¡¯m talking to. Or persons, I guess, in your case.¡±

    ¡°We are but one entity. Feel free to refer to us in such a way.¡±

    ¡°You got it ¡®But One Entity.¡¯ Great name, by the way, really makes the AI in your eyes pop.¡± His robotic guest showcased why their kind would never replace humanity by not responding to Sam¡¯s patriarchal joke. Evidently coming up with an answer to the question, ¡°when is the end of the world going to happen,¡± was more important to the AI than appreciating great humor. And while Sam agreed with their priorities in theory, in practice, he found the silence unbearable. So when his knuckles ran out of the gas required to crack them, Sam decided to take it upon himself to give the robot a name. ¡°Well¡­ since you¡¯ve not supplied the room with any meaningful input regarding your method of address. The room saw it upon itself to take sole charge in the matter. As a result, Mr. Sam Anders was chosen to be the person in charge of choosing your new name.

    ¡°All clap for Lord Anders.¡± Sam clapped enthusiastically. ¡°Thank you, thank you, honorable and fictional ladies and gentlemen. I will not tire you with the speech I¡¯ve prepared. We are all busy people, after all. So I¡¯ll get straight to the name granting process. First suggestion then: Asimov¡ªor Issac, maybe¡ªas we¡¯ve mentioned giving homage to authors. No¡­ you¡¯re right, of course, too human. Plus, there is a high possibility of meeting a person with such a name in the future, which will just confuse the reader. And as you all know, this is not War and Peace. You¡¯re never going to meet two people with the same first name in real life.

    ¡°Onwards then. Maybe something robotic, like Robot. Maybe, AI, or, since our charge is, was, the AI in charge of the Web, we¡¯ll call it the Web-AI. Webaii for short. Webaii¡­ it flows off the tongue, wouldn¡¯t you say?¡± Sam kept on trying the name out loud a few more times, but something still felt off in his mind. ¡°It¡¯s the name, countrymen¡­ it¡¯s the name. It seems to me that while it lends itself well to the ears, it does not extend the same courtesy to my mind. We must move on.

    ¡°I do like the idea of using the word ¡®Web¡¯ in the good Roman¡¯s name, to help us remember where they came from. Perhaps, Web-Mind? No, no. Not cultured enough to my taste. Web-Robot? Web-Taker? Web-Web? Web-No Name? Although¡­ hang on a minute, let¡¯s circle back just a bit. Web-Web¡­ Hm¡­ yes¡­ I do like that name. Web-Web. It¡¯s just whimsical enough to suit my taste, while also derogatory enough to match my distaste. Good, then we¡¯re all decided! Unresponsive AI, from now on, your name is Web-Web. Pleasure to meet you Web-Web. ¡®Oh, thank you Sam. It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you too. And can I just say, once again, how sorry I am for the whole kidnapping business?¡¯ Think nothing of it, think nothing of it. It was all for the greater good.¡±

    After the newly named Web-Web was still keeping their silence after another minute of Sam¡¯s mock conversation, Sam was starting to get worried that this time the AI ran out of juice for real. Thankfully, just like before, the worry proved to be unfounded because as soon as Sam¡¯s lips stopped moving, Web-Web¡¯s words filled the conversational void left behind.

    ¡°We failed to arrive at a precise date for when the state of the war takes an unrecoverable turn for the worse. But, we believe that we have come up with a reasonable enough time frame in which your direct intervention in the war¡¯s progress would not be necessary to prevent the Epiraks¡¯ victory.¡±

    ¡°Well?¡±

    ¡°Since we do not believe that we have lost any information that relates to our plan on how to best prepare you for your duties. And since we do not have access to any information that would allow you to soar in strength in a short amount of time. We conclude that the time required for you to become strong enough to take an active part in the war was taken into consideration before we have transmuted ourselves into your being. As such, any action that deviates from our plan for your continued development in an effort to achieve influence in affecting the war early is not only unnecessary but potentially counterproductive.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t tell me anything. I don¡¯t need to worry about being strong, because by the time that I need to worry about being strong, I¡¯ll already be strong¡­ Fucking when the hell is that?! Give me a time period. In X number of years, you need to be at Y level of strength. What¡¯s your actual plan for me?¡±

    ¡°Very well. Our preliminary plan does not include you becoming a Ruler in the next five years. So you becoming a Ruler at the end of that period is a valid answer for how strong you should be after a certain period of time has passed.¡±

    ¡°Oh, five years is it? That sounds like a real simple goal for a random schmuck like me. I¡¯m still at only level fucking zero. How the hell do you expect me to become a Ruler in five years? Oh sorry, five years and a day. I may not know much about this world, but I¡¯m pretty sure that making it all the way to level ten, if indeed becoming a Ruler will be a cinch for me, is going to take longer than that.¡±

    ¡°We have taken that into consideration.¡±

    ¡°How exactly?¡±

    ¡°In various ways of which we will not deliberate with you yet as they are unnecessary information for your current state. Again, we must reiterate: Our suggestion is to for you follow the instructions you are given by your tutors, as they are enough to ensure you will sufficiently develop for the foreseeable future. But, if you¡¯d like and doing so will help optimize your mood, in the case that your effort falls from what we believe you are required to give, we could inform you of that matter. If you are unsatisfied with this solution, we ask that you present for us an alternative next time we converse, for today we¡¯ve spent more resources than initially expected.¡±

    And with that, they were gone, not even a ¡°good night,¡± or anything. Sam waited another minute in silence, just to check that he wasn¡¯t being punked. But the continued silence must¡¯ve meant that the AI had truly run himself ragged catering to Sam¡¯s whims. ¡°Fine,¡± he said out loud, ¡°if you can hear me. We¡¯ll go along with your solution for now. A diligence compass sounds better than any other I can think of. At least now I won¡¯t have to spend energy worrying whether I¡¯m putting in enough effort. Hah! Who am I kidding? It¡¯s not like not having to worry has ever stopped me from being worried before.¡±

    Sam yawned. It was too late, and he was too tired to go back to the task of playlist sorting. So after taking care of all of his pre-sleeping routines (the toothbrush didn¡¯t impress and no action against acne was necessary), he took another listen of Here Comes the Sun out of the reserve and laid down on the bed once the song ended. Tonight, just like his previous two nights in this new world, he fell asleep with no troubles at all.

 Chapter 23

    Sam woke up from a dreamless sleep. And even worse, he woke up feeling energetic and full of vigor. In other words, he was not his usual self this morning. This created a call to mental action in him. For, in order to keep a balanced mind, the pessimist must always pair all good things with their negative counterpart. And so, Sam was quick to latch onto still another change in his morning experience. The alarm sound was different. The same track that has been etched into his memories by years of listening to it at the start of almost every day was lost in the ashes of humanity¡¯s flight from planet Earth. In its stead; a poor imitation. A melody that took Sam all of three minutes to settle on after deciding it was the one he hated least.

    With unnecessary grunting, he got out of the bed and over to the phone charger connected to the outlet by the desk. For although the device retained most of its battery while waiting for him to complete his circadian cycles, it still lost some. And one quick way for Sam to prove to himself that he was no longer the same person would be him being comfortable starting the day without a fully charged phone. After all, who knew when or even if it would be possible to charge it while following in Dan Ritter¡¯s footsteps? Yes¡­ it was a completely rational behavior. Nothing compulsory nor obsessive about it.

    It was at this moment that Sam finally took notice of the status his body was in, or rather, the status his body was not in. Yes, there was pain to be found around most of it. His legs were especially loud in voicing their discomfort. But that was it, no limp, no tremor of any limb, no constant reminder why he always took two days of rest after the first time working out in a while. It was pain, but much more tolerable pain than he expected considering the state Sarah left his body in yesterday. In fact, if you put a real gun to his head (to help the figurative one in case it couldn¡¯t quite get the job done), Sam felt like he could have another workout like that as soon as this evening.

    With the phone quickly filling, Sam pondered on whether to use his half an hour for a morning shower or a start of the day meditation. Meditation, he soon decided. The improvement in mental health was better, and Sam smelled no reason to pursue hygiene at this moment in time. After brushing his teeth (and no, the toothbrush was still not worth its weregild in the bright hours of the morning) and washing his face. He took notice of his blemishless skin, courtesy of socially incompetent Web-Web. He also noticed that his beard seemed to grow at a much slower pace than it used. By now, with three days of not shaving, his facial hair was still showing only lightly. ¡°No pimples and a less annoying beard,¡± Sam said while rubbing his chin. ¡°Maybe we can finally pull off that five o¡¯clock shadow I¡¯ve always wanted. Or! A goatee, like Chandler! Why is Chandler the first example I go to when I think about a goatee? Something¡¯s wrong with me, man¡­¡±

    After he finished his morning business (the fact that he forgot to pee first and had to wash his hands twice showed just how out of his element he was) he sat down on a chair, set the timer for fifteen minutes and his mind to meditating. He was having a hard time. Despite how ¡°better¡± he got at mediating during his stay at the hospital, it seemed that the last three days have caused him to regress in the practice. It was probably the deluge of new information, he decided after a couple of minutes, providing a distinct example said regression. Still, trouble or not, he managed to finish his fifteen minutes in record time and after getting dressed, he spent the remaining minutes until eight continuing his playlist duty from yesterday.

    At eight exactly, came a knock from his door. ¡°Good morning,¡± Dan said. ¡°Are you ready to go?¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Is there anything that I need to bring with me for the day? Like a laptop or one of the notebooks that I didn¡¯t let Sarah buy me because my handwriting is horrendous?¡±

    ¡°No, I shouldn¡¯t think so. Just your phone would be fine. Oh, you should bring a towel and some spare clothes for exercising in.¡±

    Sam groaned. He just had to run his mind. ¡°What¡¯s on the physical menu today?¡± he asked, while gathering the aforementioned items and shoving them into his new backpack.

    ¡°Weapons training, or weapon training, to be exact. But all in good time, do come along.¡±

    After they went down a floor (Blasted stairs! Don¡¯t think that we¡¯re square for what happened yesterday) Sam asked, ¡°So where to first?¡±

    ¡°Breakfast.¡±

    ¡°Seriously dude? I¡¯m not an agoraphobe. I can find the way to the¡­ mess hall by myself. You could¡¯ve just told me to eat before we met up.¡±

    ¡°Nevertheless, I have cleared my schedule for the day with the explicit purpose of accompanying you to breakfast and lunch.¡±

    ¡°OK, what¡¯s the deal with people clearing their schedule for me? What, you don¡¯t trust me not to get myself killed if I¡¯m left alone for more than five minutes?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. Don¡¯t be ridiculous. It¡¯s only after ten minutes that we lose our trust in you.¡± He smiled. Sam tried to make sure that the face he was making delivered the message that he was not amused (despite being very amused). Making a joke about a serious topic that involved his own person? Only Sam was allowed to do that!

    Dan cleared his throat, crushed by the power of Sam¡¯s stare. ¡°While I can¡¯t speak as to other people¡¯s¡ªand I¡¯m assuming you mean Sarah¡¯s and Maurice¡¯s¡ªthoughts. For my coming along with you today there¡¯s two main reasons: First, we are going to go all around campus today and while yes, there is an app, and no, I don¡¯t think you¡¯re an idiot, I still thought it¡¯d best that I¡¯ll be on hand to guide you along. But much more important, as I¡¯m going to be your main tutor for as long as it takes you to catch up with your peers, I thought it would be best to spend more time getting to know you.¡±

    ¡°Oh. I didn¡¯t even know you were a teacher. I thought you were just some pencil pushing bureaucrat.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to say the last part, you know?¡±

    ¡°Oh. Don¡¯t take it the wrong way. I love pencil pushing bureaucrats. Many people aren¡¯t fans, but I¡¯m a big believer in bureaucracy,¡± Sam said as they stepped out of the dorm while shielding his eyes from the bloody fake sunlight.

    ¡°That may be fine and well for you. But I do not like pencils. Please to do not term me as a person who uses pencils.¡± Dan¡¯s tone was completely serious, his eyes betraying no trace of humor. He must really hate pencils, Sam thought. Wonder if is there is an actual phobia of pencils? Probably, right? There¡¯s one for everything.

    Out loud he said, ¡°Right¡­ sure, yeah. Sorry about that, won¡¯t mention pencils again. I myself am also not a big fun of the buggers; especially not when the tip broke and¡ª¡±

    ¡°I get your point.¡±

    ¡°Sorry¡­ So anyway, you¡¯re also a teacher?¡±

    ¡°Technically, I don¡¯t teach classes or any of the derivatives that we have in the academy, so I¡¯m not counted among the institution¡¯s faculty. But I am the person in charge of special cases, and you are definitely the most special case the academy has ever had. I admit to considering the option of not teaching you personally but instead juggling you between different teachers depending on the subject and who¡¯s available. But, it quickly became apparent to me that it was most efficient to put myself in charge of you schooling. For the time being, at least.¡±

    Sam nodded along, but he wasn¡¯t completely sold on his new instructor. ¡°So you¡¯re technically not a teacher, but you do know how or what to teach me, right? I don¡¯t mean to be an asshole or anything, it¡¯s just this is literally the first thing that I¡¯m going to do with my new lease on life here, and I really want it to get off to a good start.¡± And also if I fuck up, then everyone else is gonna get fucked.

    ¡°No need to worry. I am perfectly adequate for imparting to you with the knowledge you¡¯ll need in order to make the most of your time here. Unlike Maurice, I don¡¯t greatly enjoy teaching, least of all whole a classful of people. And so, in order to reconcile my duty with my preferences, I keep to tending to just the best and brightest amongst those who made their way to the academy. Students like your friend Sarah, or the Twins that I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll meet soon enough. True, I have never directly involved myself in their studies as much as I¡¯m planning to do with you. But none of them as ever needed my personal attention as much as you have, not to mention your¡­ other qualities.¡±

    ¡°OK, so should I just go ahead and message Sarah, asking her to rate your teaching ability from one to five?¡±

    Dan laughed. ¡°Go ahead. I¡¯d be very interested in what she had to tell you. Whether she¡¯d be able to separate her personal disagreement with my teaching in order to give an objective as possible assessment.¡±

    ¡°Personal disagreement? You do realize that Sarah is like the person that I trust most in the world right now, right? If you and her have a personal disagreement, that doesn¡¯t paint you in a good light in my completely ignorant eyes.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ true enough. Let me rephrase that. I have repeatedly given Sarah advice pertaining to her chosen path in her time here. She has disagreed with me and so far ignored my advice. But, I¡¯m sure that were you to ask her, she would be very happy with me choosing to tutor you personally.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s cool. I was just joking anyway. I¡¯m obviously not gonna message her that.¡± I¡¯m going to ask her in person. ¡°But why are you coming down so hard on poor Sarah? Isn¡¯t she a prodigy for making it to level 3 already? Plus, from what I¡¯ve seen, she takes her studies and¡­ physical training, really seriously.¡±

    Dan sighed. ¡°It¡¯s not that she¡¯s not a hard worker, quite the opposite, in fact. Her problem is applying herself to too many things at once. I told her time and time again: to slow down, limit her focus, and make some sacrifices. But she never listens. For example: She trains with both the sword and hand to hand for close quarters combat and the bow and sling for ranged. The end result of such haphazard a regiment is that she spreads herself too thin and doesn¡¯t achieve optimal results. That¡¯s what happened with her reaching level 3. The academy¡¯s base line for excellence is for pupils to make up one level in one and a half years, so that they graduate at 4. And while it¡¯s true that close to half of the cadets never manage that growth, Sarah shouldn¡¯t be judged by the rate of advancement when compared to regular Terrans. She is, after all, a Taken. In my opinion, if she allocated her time more efficiently, she could have made level 3 half a year ago.¡±

    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

    ¡°You guys use slings?¡± Sam asked, choosing not to focus on the terrifying prospect that he might need to spread himself even thinner than Sarah. Like the minuscule amount of mayo that remains in the bottle you forgot to throw out, which somehow has to accommodate your double cheeseburger with fries delivery that just got here with no condiments (because you were trying to be environmentally conscious and you were sure that you had another bottle laying somewhere).

    ¡°Yes. It is mechanically a very simple weapon. Which makes it very suitable for both mass production and general training. And while almost all people that train with a sling also train in close quarters combat as well, training with the bow is much more time consuming. And we generally try and dissuade students from training in more than one combat method after their first year. Still, Sarah¡¯s physical regiment is really the least of my worries. It¡¯s the multiple magical fields whose study she decided to embark upon. But, Sarah¡¯s choices are her own and as long you don¡¯t develop your own opinion on them, you shouldn¡¯t trouble yourself with the matter. And in any case, your studies are going to be much more focused than hers. I¡¯ll see to that myself.¡±

    ¡°You got it, boss man!¡± As long as Web-Web doesn¡¯t tell me otherwise, that is. That¡¯s going to be a fun conversation: ¡°Hey Dan, mate, I¡¯m sorry¡­ I know that I promised you not to stray, like that harlot Sarah. But the possibly imaginary AI that squats in my brain told me that I also need to study Egyptology in order to save the world. So I¡¯m going to have to cancel our classes on Tuesday.¡±

    Dan smiled. ¡°Good. It¡¯s already been hard enough trying to build a curriculum for you that covers everything you¡¯ll need to know. It would have been even harder if you decided to also train in ranged combat or to study healing like Sarah. Stick with what I tell you, and if all goes well, you might be able to finish your studies in two and a half years. Of course, your level will not be the same as your peers, but at least your knowledge will be. And at the end of the day, that¡¯s what¡¯s important. After all, we never prevented someone from graduating because of their level.¡±

    ¡°So¡­¡± Sam said, ¡°and I¡¯m just wondering out loud. Best-case scenario: what will my level be at that point? If I manage to graduate in two and a half years?¡±

    Dan took the question to heart and stopped his walking for a moment to ponder. ¡°Hard to know without seeing your rate of progress first. My hope? Level three, or close to it at the very least.¡±

    ¡°Great, sound good to me.¡± I¡¯m fucked.

    ¡°It any case, levels can be made up in time. What matters most is to build your strength on a good foundation of knowledge, skill and experience. You¡¯ll learn the first two here. I¡¯ll make sure of it.¡± Sam nodded along to Dan¡¯s lecture, while trying to keep the fear from showing on his face. Web-Web said that it¡¯s five years before I need to become a Ruler, and that I¡¯ll also not need to do anything out of the ordinary. How does that compute if I¡¯ll only make it, barely, to level 3 in half that time? Huh, Web-Web?! Oh right, they can¡¯t hear me. I keep forgetting that.

    While he was deep in self-contemplation, Dan kept his reassuring speech going. He was now telling Sam that his handicap of now knowing anything about magic could end up being a boon in disguise by granting him a level of critical thinking that was unique to him. Sam was an old hand at thinking himself as special when compared to other people, but he was most used to picturing his uniqueness as manifesting in his negative attributes (in order to not let his perception of himself make him feel superior to other people).

    And so, because he didn¡¯t like the direction the conversation started with (level 10 in five years!), and he didn¡¯t like the direction Dan took the conversation now (please, don¡¯t tell me I¡¯m special, it will get to my head), Sam opted to segue the conversation some place else entirely. ¡°How come you¡¯re not carrying your notebook with you today?¡±

    ¡°No need. I will be taking an active part in my interactions with you today. No reason to keep myself occupied if I¡¯m already occupied, yes? Besides, now that my plans for your future are starting to take shape, there is much less reason for me to worry.¡±

    ¡°So did you really end up using what you wrote down in order to¡­ make your plans for me?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ Yes. It did come in handy. Once or twice.¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    Dan cleared his throat. ¡°Looking back on what you said helped me¡­ understand you a little better. But don¡¯t worry about that. I write to calm myself down; minutes, thoughts, memories¡­ anything that¡¯ll help me face the fact that there¡¯s something I must do that I can¡¯t quite take an active part in¡­ doing.¡±

    ¡°So writing calms you down? That¡¯s¡­ cool. Good for you.¡± Dan smiled as though he truly hadn¡¯t heard the doubt lacing Sam¡¯s voice. And maybe he didn¡¯t. Maybe Sam¡¯s voice was bereft of doubt, being guided by his subconscious mind that realized how hypocritical it was of Sam to judge someone else for¡­ practically anything. Besides, it¡¯s not like I never wrote for reasons of mental health, right? Oh shit, I just realized that my journal word document is probably lost forever¡­ Oh well. That¡¯s what? Four, five hundred pages that will never see the light of day ever again? Fucking hell.

    By that point, they had finally made their way to the mess hall, which, for some reason, wasn¡¯t the one closest to Sam¡¯s dorm. Judging by the people he saw coming in and out of the building, this one seemed to be mainly catering to the academy¡¯s staff. There were still plenty of students, but they were by far in the minority. ¡°This is the administrative side of campus,¡± Dan explained when questioned by Sam. ¡°It¡¯s also closest to the parking lot and staff apartments... Don¡¯t worry, there isn¡¯t anything different about the food, it¡¯s the same everywhere. I just thought that since we¡¯ll be starting that day around here, that it¡¯ll be better to eat breakfast here. Plus, less noisy compared to the others at this hour.¡±

    ¡°Sure. So when does the school day actually start?¡±

    ¡°It depends¡­ for most students on most days, I¡¯d say that their first class is at nine. But there are plenty of classes that start at eight, seven, or even six in the morning, and most student will wake up a couple of hours before their first class of the day. But, statistically, we know that the time the other mess halls will be most busy in the morning is at eight.¡±

    Dan kept him company and followed Sam as he went around piling food on his plate. He really wasn¡¯t used to having so much food available at morning times. Sam was very much the opposite of a breakfast person, preferring to eat lightly at first, then light to medium or nothing (depending on his current view of his own weight and hunger at the time) at lunch, followed by a proper meal at dinner. And while he knew that having the heaviest meal of the day as the last one was not considered the healthiest option by dietitians, he never cared enough about it in order to change a habit that was so deeply ingrained in him.

    Despite that, in the last two days, he¡¯s been eating like a pig at every meal that was offered to him. Which was five meals overall that each could have taken the place of his dinner in his previous life. When he raised these worries to Dan, the administrator (or was it now teacher?), just assured him that he¡¯ll be seeing a nutritionist today and for now to eat what and as much as he wanted.

    Taking his teacher¡¯s words to heart, Sam heaped as much food as his stomach seemed to want on his plate, and then followed Dan as he led them to a two person table. All the while, Sam couldn¡¯t help noticing the frequent glances thrown their way by some of the room¡¯s occupants. Both staff and students alike seemed equally keen to observe the pair of them, and if Sam had to guess, he wasn¡¯t the reason for all the hubbub.

    ¡°You famous or something?¡± he asked Dan as they both sat down to eat.

    ¡°Hmm?¡± Dan murmured while keeping his focus on the plate in front of him.

    ¡°Half the people in this room look at us like we¡¯re two hot things, and unless I suddenly became famous in the span of a single day, I¡¯m betting they¡¯re looking at you.¡±

    Dan didn¡¯t look up. ¡°You did become famous in the span of a single day. You sure they aren¡¯t looking at you?¡±

    ¡°Pretty sure. Besides, how would they know who I am? Face it, mate, they¡¯re looking at you. Does this have anything to do with you being back from the front that Sarah asked you about?¡±

    ¡°Who knows? Oh¡­ alright. I concede that they might be looking at me. I do posses some fame, or perhaps I should say infamy, on campus. However, by the time news of you start spreading around, I¡¯m sure that everywhere we go people will be looking only at you.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t wait for that. So, how come you¡¯re so infamous? If you pardon my asking.¡±

    ¡°Good question. I¡¯ve pondered that very inquiry for a long time myself¡­¡± Dan nodded his head and held his chin in his hand. He kept the show going for a couple more seconds before finally spilling the beans. ¡°If I had to give one reason, it¡¯d be on account of me being level 10 for a¡­ long stretch of time already, shall we say.¡±

    Sam raised an eyebrow in both surprise and confusion. He found it hard to believe that the graying little man sitting in front of him was level 10. Which was pretty weird because it¡¯s not like he had any idea what a level 10 was like. ¡°Why does that make you so famous? I thought there¡¯ll be plenty of level 10s that don¡¯t make it to Ruler.¡±

    ¡°Oh, there are. Sure, on average, we Terrans have less than other races. But that still leaves plenty of us who are stuck on the precipice just like me. The difference between me and them, however, is, in my opinion, expectation. For there are those that spent just as much time as me, if not more, at level 10. But all those people also made it to level 10 much later than I did. You can see where I¡¯m going with this, right? I got to level 10 relatively early. An illustrious career as a Ruler was waiting for me and expected by all. But, to everyone¡¯s disappointment, I never made another step forward.¡±

    ¡°That¡­ sucks. Sorry about that, mate. Must be shit having everyone looking at you like that.¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be. I¡¯ve made my peace with it quite some time ago. And I assure you, no one is looking at me with derision or anything resembling it.¡±

    ¡°Gotcha¡­ So, we¡¯re not going to have the trope of the ridiculed and looked down upon old mentor who takes on the talented young buck and trains him to become the next heavyweight champion?¡±

    ¡°No, because I¡¯m not old.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Sam made a high pitch noise while contorting his face. ¡°OK, I¡¯ll give you the not old part. Just please tell me ahead of time if you have some rival from your teens who had made it to Ruler, and he¡¯s training his son who just so happens to be at my age.¡±

    ¡°No son. Will a daughter do?¡±

    ¡°No good. No one will take a female rival seriously. And also, as an alpha male, I will never hit a woman that is not a part of my domestic unit.¡± Sam was fork was stopped midway to his mouth by Dan, giving him a very apprehensive look. ¡°I¡¯m joking, I¡¯m joking. I¡¯ll have you know that when I grew up, it was at the time when they still tried to educate you to never hit a girl. And I never went along with that sexist bullshit. Ever since I was young, I was an equal opportunity assaulter; I always believed that if a person deserved a smackdown or, god forbid, they were infringing on your bodily autonomy, then that person¡¯s gender didn¡¯t matter.¡±

    ¡°So am I to assume you¡¯re going to go around picking fights with people?¡± Dan asked him with an amused smile.

    ¡°Probably not. I¡¯ve solved most of my anger management issues all the way back when I was thirteen¡ªno, fourteen. And the fact that I¡¯m whole again probably won¡¯t change me back to who I was. Plus, the chance of me getting my ass kicked if I pick a fight with someone is pretty good, considering I¡¯m like twelve years old by your standards.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t worry about that. A good enough physical and combat skill will allow you to triumph above someone at level 2 or 3 even. As long as usage of magic is not allowed.¡±

    ¡°And what if it is?¡±

    ¡°Then, without any magic of your own, you¡¯re going to have a much harder time. But don¡¯t worry about it, all magical duels are strictly monitored by staff and besides, duels are only allowed for pedagogic reason, not personal.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not worried about that, I can assure you.¡± The conversation lulled into silence at that point as they both focused on finishing the remainder of their meals. Still, a worry gnawed at Sam¡¯s mind that he just couldn¡¯t get rid of. It had grabbed hold of one of his many insecurities and any effort to do away with it by self-introspection only, just served to let it burrow further down into his anxious mind. Finally, he couldn¡¯t hold himself back and asked Dan, ¡°How come you can¡¯t make it to level 10? If it¡¯s alright with you me asking.¡±

    ¡°Are you afraid that I might teach you something wrong? Prevent you from becoming a Ruler?¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°That¡¯s a pretty shitty thing to think and ask. Fuck I¡¯m sor¡ª¡±

    Dan smiled. ¡°No, don¡¯t be, it¡¯s alright. Felix asked me the very same thing when we met. And I¡¯ll tell you the same thing I told him: Nothing that I¡¯ll teach you has anything to do with becoming a Ruler. In fact, everything that I will teach is also taught and accepted as true knowledge by every other educational institution in the Web. My problem with becoming a Ruler is mine, and mine alone. And the only reason that I keep it to myself is not to influence your thoughts when you¡¯re still learning the basics. Besides, and this I didn¡¯t tell him, you of all people shouldn¡¯t have to worry about becoming a Ruler. This I can assure you, if you make it to level 10, you¡¯re one-hundred percent going to become a Ruler.¡±

 Chapter 24

    They finished the rest of the meal in silence. Sam decided not to remark upon the fact that Dan had never truly answered his question about why people were looking at him. Being famous was good and well for a casual explanation. But, presumably, for the people here, this wasn¡¯t the first time that they saw Dan grabbing a bite to eat. I mean, sure, you might get super excited the first time you saw Jesus Christ the Redeemer turning water to wine. But by day ten, if he was still pulling the same shtick, you¡¯d probably be a little over it. Sam decided that he¡¯ll simply ask Sarah about this later. Maybe make use of the opportunity to ask her about Dan as a teacher as well, because what was integrity in the face of an existential threat?

    After depositing their trays for cleaning up, Dan once again took the lead and guided Sam out of the mess hall and into one of the building that were nearby. Inside, they were met by Sam¡¯s true love¡ªMistress Bureaucracy. Guided by all sorts of different pen pushers, he first had to complete to information requested of him by the academy itself pertaining to his past education (this was the only part of the process Dan seemed interested in). He opted to not lie on an official government form and left nothing of his myriad of academic achievements out (chief among them was, of course, the one man show he had acted out in tenth grade for literature class).

    More information was requested, but alas, not all of it was available to be given. Stuff like previous education was all well and good, but it was always accompanied by asking where said education was given. And it just so happened that Sam had kept the name of his kindergarten in his old phone, so he wasn¡¯t able to tell them where it was that he was taught to count all the way up to ten. Suffice it to say, the forms were not modified in any way to Sam¡¯s particular circumstances.

    On and on the forms came, each one with a slightly different set of question, so similar that at first he didn¡¯t notice when the authority behind them shifted from the academy itself to the state at large. In fact, he only realize that because these latter ones were thankfully adjusted to suit his almost unique situation. They also required much less work on his part. Mostly, he just had to sign on the dotted line, confirming that the information presented on the form reached him and that he understood it (whenever he didn¡¯t, there was always a helpful lady named Pearl right at his shoulder to explain it to him) and assenting to the new state it had conferred on him. And so, in only a matter of hours, he was given an ID card, a bank account and credit card, and all other things that a pre-modern man needs to have in order to survive and thrive in modern time.

    By the end of it, Sam was working more on instinct than guided by his ever present overly critical and anxious mind. Now don¡¯t get him wrong, he still greatly appreciated bureaucracy and what it represented, and he even had greater appreciation for the importance of information gathering necessitated by the modern nation state. But, there was such a thing as too much of a good thing. It seemed to Sam that the bureaucratic apparatus of the Terran Republic and New Point Academy (and indeed, perhaps that of every other large enough organization) was not meant to be visited upon a layperson all at once. In this only one session, Sam was forced to endure paperwork that for most people was spread out across their twenty-two years of life. Or even stuff that most people are never consulted about. After all, no one asks a newborn whether they consent to becoming a citizen, and they sure as hell don¡¯t ask them whether the information the state has on their birth is true or false.

    Still, all''s well that ends well. Sam was now a naturalized citizen of the great Terran Republic, able to vote (next election due in three years. Apparently the name wasn¡¯t just for show), pay taxes, and just like Sarah, enjoy a bottomless stipend that even the people giving it to him weren¡¯t sure how it worked. ¡°Bet you wish you weren¡¯t accompanying me now,¡± he told Dan once they were both seated on a bench outside of the building where they had just spent three grueling hours.

    Dan, despite seeming at first to Sam as the quintessential bureaucrat, very much didn¡¯t enjoy the last three hours, and the minute they gave him and Sam the green light to leave, he led the both of them outside to bask in the sunlight once again. His face was currently a picture of receding agony. With his eyes closed, he was looking almost directly at the sun while he kept rubbing his temple. ¡°It is the time we just spent so willfully that troubles me,¡± Dan said. ¡°So much time that we could have used for something else. But I know, of course, that this was an essential activity, just wish that it could have been done much faster.¡±

    ¡°Not big on waiting for other people, are you?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ I guess not. Should have brought something to write with after all.¡± Dan smiled half-heartedly. ¡°Anyway,¡± he said while slapping his thighs and getting up, ¡°we have another appointment on schedule and after that, lunch.¡±

    The next item on the agenda proved to be much smoother than the previous. The nutrition specialist ushered them into his room immediately upon their arrival. And after inquiring after Sam dietary restrictions (there were, surprisingly, none, even back in his old body) and preferences, he quickly wrote down an excruciatingly detailed guide on what to eat each and every meal of the day and which and how much and which supplements to take daily. All of which was supplied by the school, he assured Sam. So as long as Sam didn¡¯t step outside of the academy¡¯s ground he didn¡¯t need to worry about anything.

    He tried out this new regimen at lunch, all the while being pelted by Dan with questions regarding his previous education and how much he remembered of it. Surprisingly, once lunch was over, Dan bid him farewell and left him to get to his next appointment all on his own. Apparently, there was a meeting that required Dan¡¯s personal attendance, and he was already running late. Sam was, then, directed to one of the academy¡¯s many gyms, not the one closet to where he was but the one closest to where he slept.

    While on the walk there, he messaged Sarah with the handful of questions the day¡¯s morning generated in his mind. ¡°Hi friend! Two questions, well three actually, but two of them are connected: 1. Should I be OK with Dan Ritter being my private tutor? 2. Why the hell did everyone (not everyone, but a lot of people) turned to stare at him when we went to get food (twice!)? 3. Just a random thought, but how long would you say that it¡¯d take you to reach level 10? Thank you.¡±

    Just as he got to his destination, he started receiving replies from Sarah. ¡°Dan is great. Hard to think of anyone who would make for a better teacher for you. Just don¡¯t let him dictate everything and you¡¯ll be fine. Why did he say something to make you worried? Is it about him being stuck at level 10? Because if he didn¡¯t tell you, then you should know that you have nothing to worry about from that.¡±

    ¡°No, he did. And it¡¯s nothing he said,¡± Sam replied. ¡°I¡¯d have asked you no matter who it was that was designated as my own personal Aristotle. Just want to make sure that I¡¯m not falling through the cracks or anything. That¡¯s my greatest fear, you know? Falling through the cracks of a military institution.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s not happening. Having Dan as your private teacher is the exact opposite of falling through the cracks. Just remember not to let him walk all over you once you get your bearings. As for you second question: Dan is pretty famous for those in the know, on par with any of our Rulers, I¡¯d say. And I¡¯d imagine a lot more people are in the know today, with all the rumors flying around from the front. Well, they¡¯re more unconfirmed facts than rumors. Supposedly, his unit got into an ambush a month or two ago, two enemy Rulers to our one. Dan fought alone and killed one of those Rulers before helping to kill the second.¡±

    ¡°No shit. A Ruler? Is that common?¡±

    ¡°Obviously not! If level 10s could fight Rulers so easily, then Rulers wouldn¡¯t be called Rulers, now would they?¡±

    ¡°They shouldn¡¯t be called Rulers anyway!!! There¡¯s someone above them. What are they called again? Chosen?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Great. Now what about a Ruler vs a Chosen? Could the weak triumph over the strong?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ No, I guess? The difference between Chosen and Rulers is supposed to be even greater than Rulers and level 10s. Why do you care, anyway? Concern yourself with people at your own level, not people who left the levels behind.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have people my own level. I¡¯m level 0!¡±

    ¡°Sub-1!¡±

    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°Whatever. What about my last question? How long would you say until you¡¯re level 10?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. A level every year and a half is probably a safe enough guess. But I¡¯ll probably pick up speed once out of the academy. Let¡¯s say seven to ten years, hopefully less, probably not more. Why? Are you looking to bet on who makes it to level 10 first?¡±

    ¡°Only if I can bet on you beating me.¡±

    ¡°Sure I¡¯ll take that. Win-win situation. When are you and Dan finishing today?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. He left me a couple of minutes ago, something urgent came up apparently. How do you know I¡¯m with Dan for the whole day, anyway?¡±

    ¡°He told me yesterday, when he asked me for you phone number. Besides, did you think that I¡¯d just leave you alone if I didn¡¯t know that someone was there taking care of you?¡±

    ¡°OK that¡¯s it!! What¡¯s up with everyone treating me like I¡¯m a baby or something? I can survive on my own I¡¯ll have you know. Here!¡± He took a picture. ¡°Found the gym all on my own now did I?¡±

    ¡°WOW!!! GOOD JOB! LOOK AT YOU FINDING THE WAY ALL ON YOUR OWN! WERE SO PROUD OF YOU!¡±

    ¡°Enough with the sarcasm. Somehow you manage to have a worst go at it over text than in real life.¡±

    ¡°I could say the same thing about you.¡±

    ¡°You could, but then you would be lying because a. I haven¡¯t been sarcastic over text with you yet so you have to basis for that statement to be truthful. And b. Because unlike you, I have built my own personality around being sarcastic like Chandler. And goddammit Chandler is funny! So that means that I must be funny as well. Please don¡¯t try to argue over this because this is literally the only thing I have.¡±

    She sent a smiley face in response. Then she wrote, ¡°How are you feeling? Up for another workout in the evening?¡±

    ¡°Feeling better than I ought to be, but I don¡¯t know if it¡¯ll keep up. It depends on how I¡¯ll feel after the training session I have no. But you probably shouldn¡¯t get your hopes up.¡±

    ¡°Gotcha. Alright, keep me updated. We¡¯re going to have dinner together anyway, so we¡¯ll see where to go from them. Good luck on your weapon¡¯s training!¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± He put the phone back in his pocket and finally stepped into the building. Once inside, his path-finding luck ran out, and he got turned around a couple of times before he managed to find the private training room he was supposed to train in. The size just doesn¡¯t scream ¡°private¡± to me, Sam noted as he took in the large space beyond the door. The floor and walls were padded with a reddish-brown colored rubber mat that cushioned Sam¡¯s footsteps as he walked to the corner of the room. Once there, he deposited his bag gently on the ground, by dropping it like he was used to doing back when he had used bags, and quickly changed into his workout clothes.

    Not knowing what to do for now but wait, Sam sat down next to his bag and got out his phone to continue his very important work once again. He only just settled on which band¡¯s material to review when a broad-shouldered, stern looking man entered the room. He was carrying two sets of wooden spears, two in each hand. Catching Sam¡¯s eyes, he nodded at him. ¡°You must be Sam Anders.¡±

    Sam put his phone in his bag and got up. ¡°That¡¯s me.¡±

    ¡°It bodes well for our time together that you¡¯re here so early,¡± the man said while walking to the Sam¡¯s side of the room. ¡°Dan Ritter wrote to me that he had to leave you to your own devices. So I should not to get upset in case you¡¯ve had trouble getting here in time. I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll be happy to see his concerns were unfounded. Have you warmed up yet?¡± he asked while leaning the spears up against the wall.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t think about that, sorry. It¡¯s just the last few days were full of people pretty much telling me what to do all the time, so my capacity for independent thinking is not what it once was.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s alright. What matters is that you are here on time. However, once we¡¯ve settled on a permanent training schedule, and I¡¯m satisfied at your ability to handle the pre-training exercises by yourself, I except to find you ready to start at exactly the time we¡¯ve agreed upon. Let me introduce myself: My name is Lin Jingway, you may call me Lin. If you must, I will allow Teacher Jingway but I¡¯m guessing that we both share in disliking of such an address. I will be, due to Ritter¡¯s insistence, your personal and only combat trainer, until such time as I believe you to be skilled enough to join the common student pool. If you prove either truly talented, or in the likely absence of talent, truly dedicated, I will consider continuing my instructions past that point. All clear?¡±

    Sam nodded apprehensively. Lin¡¯s attitude was in stark contrast to the rest of his experience in New Terra so far. It must have been that the people around him were placating him by adjusting themselves according to the mood Sam set with his often idiotic behavior. Which only served to make Sam feel bad. He didn¡¯t like when people changed the way they acted because of him, at least not when it was people that he didn¡¯t dislike. Moreover, he suddenly found himself confronted with the same thought that had run all through his head yesterday: should he really be taking everything so easy, as he had been so far?

    If Lin saw anything wrong with Sam¡¯s response and subsequent quiet, he made no mention of it. He simply sat down in the center of the room and gestured Sam to sit in front of him. ¡°We will start with body scan meditation. And while I advise you to begin and end all of your physical training with five minutes sessions such as the one I will lead you through now, I will only demand that from you during our own sessions. Meditation, as you will soon learn, is a common enough aid for gathering that the academy offers many classes on its various forms. And while I don¡¯t relish looking at meditation simply through the lens of its utility for cultivating, your position is such that utility much be considered first and foremost.

    ¡°But, make no mistakes. I am not here to help you cultivate or sculpt your pathways. I am here simply to teach you how to fight. We will not deal with any tracing or patterns¡ªuse of magic for combat purpose¡ªduring our time together. But only with your physical body and your ability to direct it. The reason I insist on having you practice body scanning is because it is foremost a mental tool for better understanding yourself and your magicless body. However, it is true enough that it could also end up being a very helpful habit from a magical standpoint. Even if you won¡¯t need to better your pathways, you will still need to get to know them. Examining them before and after a workout, simply looking at how they were affected by the natural passage of magic through them and into your body, will help you do just that.¡±

    ¡°One last thing that I should note, if we¡¯re already on this topic: Once you¡¯ve begun to sense your magic and practice gathering, I expect that, like many students, you might like to use some of our time, perhaps during the more repetitive and less mentally stimulating exercises, for that purpose. But there will be no active gathering during our lessons. Remember that when you cultivate, you are always focusing on your magic first and everything else comes second. And while that is quite fine during running or lifting weights, training that is purely physical. It is not so for anything that I will be teaching you. Is that clear?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Sam furrowed his eyebrows. ¡°I think so, at least. It¡¯s just that¡­ half of what you said, I don¡¯t really have any idea what it means, sorry.¡±

    ¡°That is fine. If there is just cause, I will reiterate them in the future. But let¡¯s move on for now. I will guide you during the mediation. Even if you are familiar with the practice, try to follow my words to the letter.¡±

    Sam followed along with Lin¡¯s instructions. This was the first time in a long while doing body scan meditation. To tell the truth, he was not very fond of the practice. He always found himself either skipping through the entirety of his body much too quickly or staying in the same region much too long. And how the hell were you supposed to ignore the random stabs of feeling that demanded your attention once you started noticing your body?

    Still, he complied with nary an outside complaint and almost nary an inner thought. It was at his cerebral climb of his left leg that it finally dawned on him what he was doing. By God, he had fucking legs again! And he was viewing them through a meditative lens as though there was nothing to it. His mind started to wander from the exercise at that point, looking to rejoice once again at his ability to feel and move all of his limbs. Somehow he was able to go a whole day without the elation and exuberance that the situation demanded of him. And while it was true that the time it took people to get used to positive change was much lesser than the time it took for negative change, Sam still found himself wondering at his ability to completely internalize his new situation in a matter of days. Perhaps it was another effect from his new body and its reaction to magic. That his positive emotions were muted much like his negative ones. Or maybe not. Maybe he was just an ungrateful jackass.

    He only tuned back to Lin¡¯s words once he was up to his neck. Mentally chiding himself for starting on the wrong foot (hah! foot!) right of the bat, he turned his full focus to his new teacher¡¯s words. This time he followed Lin¡¯s instructions thoroughly and without any mental complaint, well almost without any, he was still human after all. ¡°Good,¡± Lin said once they finished their second scan of the body. ¡°Now open your eyes.¡± Lin was looking at him with stern eyes, as though he was trying to peer thorough Sam to his core. Which might actually be possible in this day and age. ¡°Once you are proficient enough with the basic usage of magic. I will also guide you through the scanning of your pathways.¡±

    Sam furrowed his brows. ¡°And the pathways don¡¯t count as making use of magic during our lessons?¡±

    Lin chuckled and stood up, gesturing Sam to do the same. ¡°That there, is a whole realm of debate and sophistry. I would argue that the pathways are a part of your physical body, although I can already think of many fellow teachers who would disagree with me. But, it matters not. My insistence was that we will not be making active usage of magic during our training. And all will agree that observing one¡¯s pathways does not fall under this category.¡±

    Sam did a little dance in order to bring the feeling back to his legs. ¡°Yeah¡­ I have no idea what the hell you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°Even better,¡± said Lin while walking towards where he had left the wooden spears. ¡°It will give your mind less to wonder about during our lessons. Now, are you ready to begin your training?¡±

 Chapter 25

    ¡°If I say no, will you stab me with one of those spears?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m afraid corporal punishment is not allowed by the academy¡¯s rules,¡± Lin said with a sorrowful smile. ¡°I will simply have you run more laps for warming up until you are ready to begin.¡±

    ¡°Kind of seems like a lose-lose situation for me,¡± said Sam, who was beginning to lose his initial fear of his new teacher. Why the hell was that happening to someone who usually maintained his anxiety of newly met authority figures for far longer than was rational, he could only guess.

    ¡°How so? Either way, you will begin on your path towards mastering the spear. A good deal if I ever saw one.¡±

    ¡°Why the spear, though?¡± Sam wasn¡¯t willing to concede his future so easily.

    ¡°Is there another weapon with which you are more familiar? I had been under the impression, the same as Ritter, I think, that you are a novice in all forms of combat.¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s just not true. We had self-defense classes at school at least two times during my tenure there. And, I have also been an avid fencer in my youth. Before a terrible bout with ingrown toenails stripped me of the ability to wear shoes for a good amount of the year.¡± Sam crossed his hand, still not quite satisfied that he had defended his honor against such ungrounded accusations.

    ¡°Fencing? As in the sport? Or something more practical? How good were you? Perhaps some of the footwork you¡¯ve learned could still be of use.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ you took me seriously. Yeah¡­ no. I doubt it will have any effect. It was a long time ago, and I wasn¡¯t even very good.¡±

    ¡°Then I fail to see what to problem with picking up the spear as your weapon of choice.¡±

    Sam himself wasn¡¯t sure why he was so disinclined towards the pointy weapons. Maybe because he always saw himself as a sword kind of guy. Duel wielding. Now that was the name of the game. ¡°What I¡¯m trying to get at is¡­ Why spear and not any other weapon? Just want to be sure that I make the right choice.¡±

    ¡°Ah, I see you are that kind of person. A fair enough question, I suppose. Very well, sit down. It is better to have this conversation from a place of equals.¡± Lin motioned to Sam and sat down.

    ¡°Is this a joke about my height?¡± Sam asked in confusion, while complying with the taller man¡¯s directions.

    ¡°Not at all. It is because when a person sits, they are more vulnerable to attack. When we both sit down, we are equally vulnerable to each other.¡±

    ¡°In what world am I just as dangerous to you as you are to me?¡±

    ¡°In one which you are more skillful in the spear than me.¡±

    ¡°Correct me if I¡¯m wrong, but aren¡¯t you level 8? I don¡¯t see how being better at waving a pointy stick will help me bridge that gap.¡±

    ¡°Level 8, yes. But you forget that while in this room, we do not use magic.¡±

    ¡°I did forget that, yes. Didn¡¯t think that restriction still applied to a situation in which we are hostile to one another. Also, I didn¡¯t know that the restriction against magic applied to you as well.¡±

    ¡°Of course it does. As teacher and student, or aim is to be equal in all aspects besides knowledge. Only so can we ensure that I correctly pass on my education to you. If I simply batted you aside with a swipe every time you tried to stab me, you would not learn anything except to hate me.¡±

    ¡°Not supposed to hate teacher¡­¡± Sam muttered while mimicking writing on his palm.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that. Feel free to hate me all you want if that is what helps you become better. I spent most of my childhood hating my great aunt. May she rest in peace. But let¡¯s go back to your original question: ¡®Why, out of all possible weapons, you should learn to fight with a spear?¡¯ This was the gist of your concern if I am not mistaken, yes?¡±

    ¡°More or less.¡± Sam nodded. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t put it quite so succinctly, and with no references to my own conceptions of magical combat, but I¡¯ll mention them when appropriate.¡±

    ¡°Very well. Then let me be blunt. All cadets who are accepted are well versed in magic if not in combat, with most being familiar with combat as well. You are completely lacking in both of these fields. Not to mention¡­ the more direct aspects of strength in which you are behind your peers. Physical fitness is a less of a problem; it will come to you in time and there is not much else you can do about it besides putting the same effort in as everyone else. Your level, however, is the main problem. I trust that it has been adequately explained to you before?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m level zero while everyone else is at least level 2.¡±

    ¡°There is no level zero.¡±

    ¡°So I keep hearing. So what does me being shit compared to everyone else have to do with me having to train with the spear?¡±

    ¡°Simple. You are already far behind everyone else. So why make it more difficult for yourself by not picking the weapon that¡¯s most commonly used in the Web for a reason?¡±

    Sam blinked in surprise. ¡°Surely the spear can¡¯t be so much easier than any other weapons. I mean yeah, the basics are easy enough, I guess.. Carry upright, stab with the pointy end and so on. But still, we¡¯re talking about proper combat here. How harder can it be to become a good swordfighter than a spear one?¡±

    ¡°Significantly. You¡¯re are partly right that becoming a master of the spear can take just as much time to become a master of the sword. But I am not teaching you to be a master but only the basics. Which, while much more complex than your examples, are still less complex than the basics of many other weapons. And that is just basic mechanical fighting. The gap in difficultly widens even further when it comes to the usage of weapons in magical combat. Like I said, there is a reason why the spear is the most commonly used weapon in the Web and why Ritter chose for you to train with one. It is one thing to teach someone how to fight with sticks and stones. It is a completely different matter when those sticks light on fire and the stones explode on impact.¡±

    Sam blinked in confusion. ¡°But you said that we¡¯re not going to learn magic. Or with magic, I can¡¯t tell the difference.¡±

    ¡°The difference is that I will never teach you magic, but I might just teach you to fight with magic if you match up to my expectations. But that will only happen once you are be able to fight with a spear. Then, and only then, will I train in the usage of magic during combat. I stand on separating the two in order to prevent magic from a becoming a crutch with which you might compensate for your lacking martial skills.¡±

    ¡°That thought hadn¡¯t crossed my mind. It will now, though, so it¡¯s probably a good idea to nip that in the bud. So¡­ Am I allowed to ask what makes a spear so much better than other weapons when magic is involved? Or is one of those practical things that you shouldn¡¯t be wasting time teaching me about just yet?¡±

    ¡°Nothing about practical magic, I assure you. I wouldn¡¯t be talking about anything of the sort anyway, not only because it¡¯s stupid to try and explain before someone¡¯s awakening, but also because it¡¯s not in my purview as your combat instructor. To answer your question: Using magic together with weapons, or simply outside of your body, is complicated. So the simpler the weapons, the easier it is to use magic with it. A spear is a pretty simple weapon, all things considered. A stick with a sharp pointy end, to use your words. Of course, most spears are a more than just a whittled down stick but the¡­ ahem, point, still stands.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s it? A spear is more basic in its design than other weapons, so it¡¯s easier to use with magic? That¡¯s really the reason why everyone¡¯s using it, even though it¡¯s not as cool as a sword? No, never mind, don¡¯t answer that. I¡¯ve literally thought of a dozen examples from history that prove what you just said. It¡¯s just a little harder for me to buy the fact that the same still holds in a world with magic.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll just have to take my word for it. I believe that this is how teaching is generally done.¡±

    ¡°Whoa. You almost strayed into one of the great fallacies there; you just about equated between is and ought. Still, you¡¯re right, I¡¯ll take your word for it that the spear retained one of the reasons for its predominance in history. But with that being said, why should I be satisfied with the best weapon for ease of use and not the best weapon overall? Shouldn¡¯t I be aiming to become the strongest version of myself? And not just the version of me that¡¯s the fastest to get a confirmed kill?¡±

    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    Lin looked at him with disapproval. ¡°There is no best weapon. Only the best weapon for you¡ª¡±

    ¡°Right, OK. So how do you know that the spear is the best weapon for me?¡±

    ¡°Considering your circumstances, as I¡¯ve described them to you. You can see why the spear is most suited for you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I get it. I¡¯m shit at everything, so I better pick up the spear, which is easier to learn than all others, cause I can¡¯t afford to waste time learning something more complex. But how do you know that I am even suited to using a spear? What if I¡¯m shit with it? Or way better at something else? What if I am some sort of duel wielding prodigy and also very good with daggers? Or maybe a flail?¡±

    ¡°A flail is¡­ very impractical. Never heard of one being used in combat. Don¡¯t know how you would actually use it; seems like a huge headache even if you manage to make the patterns work. Daggers, while much simpler, are still just as complex as swords, and much less practical. If you¡¯re already so close to the enemy that you can¡¯t use a longer weapon like a sword, then just hit them with your bare hands; faster and can be just as deadly. The main use of the modern weapon in combat is its reach. Another point to the spear, by the way.¡±

    ¡°OK, I don¡¯t know enough about modern combat to disagree with any of the points you¡¯ve made. But still, what about duel wielding? That¡¯s a classic after all.¡±

    ¡°Let me put it this way: Shield users are a rarity, not because of a lack of advantages, but because of the complexity in using one. And as hard as it is to use a shield, it¡¯s dwarfed by the difficulty of fighting with two weapons.¡±

    ¡°Dare I ask why?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s see¡­¡± Lin said before pausing in order to formulate an answer that even a totally ignorant idiot like Sam would understand. ¡°When you use magic with a weapon, what you¡¯re essentially trying to do is make that weapon an extension of your body, trace through it as though it were one of your own pathways. This is a very inaccurate description but just so you conceptually understand the problem, imagine the body as thus: A closed circuit in the shape of a circle. When you use a weapon, you¡¯re intersecting the circle with another shape; a straight line for a spear or a straight line with another line crossing it in the middle for a sword¡¯s hilt guard. Clear so far?¡±

    Sam scratched his head. ¡°I think so.¡±

    ¡°Good. The problem with ¡®duel wielding¡¯ is that the complexity of the adding two new shapes into the closed circuit that is your body is not additive but exponential. You¡¯re not trying to control just the two lines jutting out of the circle, but the whole new shape as a whole. You¡¯ll understand why when you try it for yourself for the first time.¡±

    ¡°Wait, so does that mean that using a weapon with both hands is also out of the equation?¡±

    ¡°No. Using two hands to hold a weapon just means that you¡¯ll trace into it from one hand and out from another, but it still functions as just one circuit. So, is that clear? Can we finally move on to training?¡±

    ¡°Just a moment! I apologize for being stubborn, I really do, but I¡¯m still not clear on one thing. Even if the spear will be the easiest for me to learn, that doesn¡¯t mean that it¡¯s the best weapon for me to fight with, right? After all, why should I be satisfying my self with mediocrity just because it¡¯s represents the easier path to take?¡±

    ¡°What makes you think that fighting with a spear will result in your mediocrity? I¡¯ve already told you, there is no best weapon, only the weapon that is best for you. And seeing as you¡¯ve never had any combat education, all weapons are equally good for you.¡±

    ¡°Then shouldn¡¯t I go along and pick up every weapon available and see how good I am with it? I mean, what if I¡¯m a sword prodigy or something and you¡¯re just holding me back by shoving a spear in my hands?¡±

    ¡°There isn¡¯t such a thing as prodigies in real life, only cultivated talent and different physical and mental characteristics that make a certain weapon more suitable to certain people. When I started training with a spear, I wasn¡¯t better than the people that started at the same time as me. If you take two identical people, and have one train in the sword and another in the spear, the only difference between their prowess will be the amount of effort they put in. True, that amount can be influenced by their psychology, dictating which weapon they enjoy more. But that¡¯s all. And I assure you, most people don¡¯t really have a preference for which weapon to fight with. They just end up liking the first weapon they were trained in.¡±

    ¡°Which would mean the sword for me, then.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve already determined that your fencing¡­ career doesn¡¯t count.¡±

    ¡°No, not that! I had a wooden sword that I play fought with a lot. My sister bought it for me when she was on vacation. I think it was supposed to Narsil, but I¡¯m not sure about that, cause it was pretty short for a long sword¡­ anyway, that doesn''t matter. What does matter is that I used it a lot, as any child (and young adult) would when the mood to smite some evil strikes them. And I think I was pretty good at it, twirled it around with ease, struck fast and whatnot. I mean, isn¡¯t it worth the shot to see maybe I¡¯m better with a sword than with a spear?¡±

    Lin eyed him through squinted eyes, but eventually sighed and got up. ¡°Very well. I¡¯ll go get you some training swords so we can make sure that you¡¯re not Makros Falvan in disguise. Wait here.¡±

    ¡°Fucking hell, stop with the name dropping,¡± muttered Sam once the door closed behind Lin. ¡°Would have it been so hard for you to use a name that makes sense? Like Zorro, he was a good swordsman, right? Or maybe one of the musketeers¡­ Except the only one whose name I can remember was D''artagnan, and I don¡¯t think that he was the best swordfighter among them.¡±

    Sam sighed. He kicked the ground in a childish attempt at throwing a tantrum, but the cushioned rubber floor wasn¡¯t nearly as satisfying as your classic patch of dirt, with all its different sorts of detritus that helps you feel powerful to push around. Why the fuck am I even putting up such a stink about all of this? I mean, he told me to use a spear, so I should have said ¡°yes¡± and used the spear. It¡¯s not like any of that matters to me. Fuck, but what if it does? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I¡¯m shit with a spear and the right weapon for me was an axe or a staff or anything else that can bash a head in?

    A million different choices and the one¡­ thing that can help me make the correct one is an anti-social, long-winded AI, that only pops up when the plot demands it. Well, now would make for a pretty great reveal, asshole! I¡¯m on the precipice of a huge choice and I could do with a word of encouragement or its opposite. Shit¡­ maybe the fact that they don¡¯t say anything means that I¡¯m on the right track? Fuck it, let¡¯s trying asking.

    ¡°Hey Web-Web,¡± he said to the room, barely above a whisper. ¡°Can you hear me, asshole? If you do, knock once if you think that I should train with a spear and knock three times if you don¡¯t.¡± No answer. The silence was only broken by the room¡¯s door opening without a knock, admitting Lin, two wooden swords in hand.

    ¡°Here you go.¡± He handed him one.

    ¡°Oof.¡± Sam grunted as he grabbed hold of it. ¡°Why is it so fucking heavy?¡±

    ¡°This one is built in order to be similar in weight to your average sword, just like those two,¡± he pointed to one of the set of spears lying on the ground. ¡°Would you rather try your talent with the lighter sword?¡±

    Sam, who at this point was barely holding the sword in both hands, handed it back to Lin. ¡°Very much so, if you please.¡± Lin silently took the sword back, with no trace of effort showing on his face, and handed Sam the lighter weapon. ¡°Now that¡¯s more like it.¡± Sam nodded in relief. It was still much heavier than his old cellotaped sword, but it was still light enough for his weak little arm to hold in one hand. After a couple of half circles, he managed to twirl it around a full rotation in his hand. But alas, the second time he tried it, the sword flew out of his hand and barely missed his foot.

    ¡°Now hold on,¡± Sam said. ¡°Before you judge me, you should know that I am a bit rusty.¡±

    Lin raised an eyebrow in response. ¡°Show me what you can do, then.¡± And he beckoned him forward, holding the heavier sword in his left hand. Sam bent down to pick up his dropped weapon. Wouldn¡¯t he just smash mine away because his sword is so much heavier than mine? He wondered. ¡°I¡¯ll only block. Feel free to focus on attacking,¡± Lin said, as if reading his thoughts.

    Sam, compiling with the instructions, raised the sword above his shoulder and brought it down in a downward arc towards Lin¡¯s neck. Lin¡¯s hands moved much faster than his and before Sam even knew it, his opponent¡¯s blade was there to meet his. Rebuffed, Sam felt momentarily out of balance, but managed to right himself and keep on the offensive. Striking from the right once again, he aimed towards Lin¡¯s abdomen this time. However, his attack proved even less effective than before as he was blocked right at the moment that he finished the windup for the cut.

    On and on he tried to break through Lin¡¯s simple defenses, but each time he found himself held back by a simple positioning of his opponent¡¯s sword. Quickly growing tired, in both hand and lungs, Sam decided to gamble and try to land a strike by making his best approximation of a feint. It didn¡¯t work out. It wasn¡¯t even Lin that tripped him up. Sam himself wasn¡¯t able to change the direction of the strike and found himself off balance. Lin¡¯s sword, there to meet his¡ªwhich by now was completely out of alignment¡ªproved to be the final straw as Sam¡¯s legs hit each other and he fell head first towards the ground.

    Dropping the sword, more by luck than by intention, Sam managed to block his fall with both hands, but not without feeling the impact reverberate up to his spine. ¡°Ow,¡± he muttered as he stopped holding himself away from the ground and started lowering his body in order to rest his weary hands.

    ¡°You don¡¯t look so good,¡± said Lin from above him. Sam couldn¡¯t see him right now, but from the slight inflection in his voice, he guessed his vanquisher was smiling.

    Sam tried to avoid scowling, and rolling on to his back, he stared at Lin and started rubbing and stretching his right hand. ¡°So what¡¯s the verdict, coach?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to indicate that you¡¯ll be any better with a sword than with a spear,¡± Lin answered as though Sam didn¡¯t already know it and they both didn¡¯t know that this was a complete waste of time.

    ¡°Guess that¡¯s that.¡± Sam sat up while letting out a long breath. ¡°Just promise me that fighting with spear wouldn¡¯t prevent me from being the strongest in the world some day.¡±

    Lin smiled down at him. ¡°Strongest in the world or strongest in the Web? Either way, you don¡¯t need to worry about that at all. The popularity of spears extends to the Rulers themselves, after all. In fact, our supreme commander himself is recognized as both one of the strongest Rulers in the Web and one of the best spearfighters. So, I assure you, your choice of weapon isn¡¯t going to be what prevents you from towering over all creation.¡±

    ¡°Alright, good to know.¡± Sam nodded. And muttering, mostly to himself, ¡°Don¡¯t know why I was so against the spear in the first place. Just wanted to make sure that I won¡¯t make a wrong choice, you know? And honestly, it¡¯s not like the spear isn¡¯t cool or anything. Sure, it¡¯s not as cool as duel-wielding two swords, but what is? It¡¯s still just as cool as fighting with a single sword, or with a big ass pistol. And hey, arguably the coolest character in Malazan: a spearfighter. That¡¯s gotta count for something in the wish fulfillment department.¡±

 Chapter 26

    ¡°I¡¯m so glad that I finally managed to convince you to let me do my job,¡± Lin said, while holding direct eye contact with Sam. ¡°And look on the bright side, we only wasted less than half an hour, which we could¡¯ve used for training, on doing that.¡± Sam gave him a sheepish look in return. There¡¯s no way that new students just pick up the weapon they¡¯re handed without complaints, he thought, but kept his malcontent to himself. ¡°We¡¯ll begin with warm-up. Take this.¡± Lin, thankfully, handed him one of the lighter spears. ¡°And run laps around the room until you can¡¯t anymore or I tell you to stop.¡±

    Apparently, that was it for instructions. No ¡°go!¡± or anything. Lin just stood there, looking at him expectantly. Giving into the pressure, Sam bit his tongue before he could ask why was he running with a sharp weapon, and started trotting around the room. False to its name, the personal training room had more than enough space for a person to run around in a circle with getting dizzy. The good was tempered by bad, however, because Sam stupidly started running counterclockwise and so had to hold the spear close to his body in order to prevent it from hitting the walls.

    Not too long after he started running, his body began its reporting on Sam¡¯s lack of physical fitness. From his nerve-centers in the legs came cries of alarm and indignation at undertaking another physical exertion when he still hadn¡¯t finished recovering from yesterday¡¯s ordeal. From his lungs came the ever familiar sensation of burning and the cry of ¡°Why the hell are you doing this to us?¡± And new to the equation, at least as far as solely running was concerned, his upper limbs. His right arm, which supplied the force necessary to keep the wooden weight aiming skywards, didn¡¯t enjoy its new job at all. But an even worse hand was dealt to the hand itself, tightly clenching the spear¡¯s shaft in his already sweaty palm in order to prevent him from dropping it. After all, Sam never was one for grip strength, his soft silk smooth hands being the most treasured piece of his bodily self.

    Eventually, he stopped counting what lap he was on and just kept running, focusing on keeping the spear in his hands and away from any wall, floor, or ceiling. He kept looking at Lin, waiting for him to tell Sam that he could stop. But that order of respite never came, and eventually it was Sam himself who forced the exercise¡¯s stop. Surprisingly, it wasn¡¯t any limb that gave out first but rather his lungs that couldn¡¯t take it anymore when a breath couldn¡¯t find any purchase in the organ before being pushed out. Hacking a fit, his vision getting blurry, he fell to the ground, this time without being able to use his hands to soften the fall. Luckily, there was an adult in charge to be found nearby and before Sam went headfirst into the floor, Lin grabbed him and gently sat him against the wall.

    ¡°I¡¯m impressed,¡± Lin said. ¡°Not with your physical performance, of course. That was abysmal, but according to expectations from what I understand. It¡¯s your show of resilience. Didn¡¯t think that you had it in you to run until you literally couldn¡¯t anymore. You should be proud. There are a lot of first years who still haven¡¯t been able to push themselves up to the point you¡¯re now in, content to let themselves off when it¡¯s their mind telling them to stop and not their body. You have water in your bag? Good, I¡¯ll get it for you.¡±

    Sam was pretty sure he wasn¡¯t thirsty, but he was wrong. Because when Lin handed him the bottle, he only stopped his ragged chugging in order to go back to ragged breathing. Eventually, he finished the bottle and gave it back to Lin¡¯s outstretched hand. ¡°I¡¯ll give you seven minutes to rest,¡± Lin said. ¡°I¡¯ll refill this meanwhile. Let me know if you¡¯re ready to go earlier.¡±

    Sam nodded in response and closed his eyes in the hopes that without having to interpret vision, the burning in his lungs would lessen. That didn¡¯t happen. What did end up happening was Sam becoming ever aware that his body contained more that just his smoky lungs. His legs were beating furiously and his right arm was feeling much heavier than his left. Noticing that he was still tightly clenching onto the bloody spear, he opened his palm and let it fall to the ground.

    Eventually, Sam¡¯s condition improved enough to allow him to think once again. And his first coherent thought turned to what Lin said about him. Resilient? First time someone accused me of being that. Although I guess he¡¯s right. I don¡¯t really recall ever having exerted myself so much that I simply crashed to the ground. And definitely never worked out so hard that I wanted to vomit as much as I do now. And despite everything, it¡¯s not like yesterday I was any different. It¡¯s just that Sarah, God bless that angel, went easier on me and stopped me before I was completely wrung out.

    So what the hell changed? Is it this shitty new body of mine that can¡¯t run one K but can still make me more happy than I¡¯ve ever been? Am I suddenly so strong of will because all my life up to now, I¡¯ve been beset by horrible annoying chemicals that made it harder for my brain not to give up when push came to shove?

    Or should I be giving the credit to myself? Maybe now that I¡¯m responsible for the safety of every living thing, I¡¯ve finally managed to stop being an asshole? That¡¯s a nice turn of events, no? ¡°Oh me? Yeah, I used to be a spoiled crybaby who always gave himself a break when things got a teeny bit hard for him. But now? With the power of having the whole fate of the universe on my shoulders, I¡¯ve done and turned myself from a SAD into a CHAD. And you too can enjoy a new state of self! For the small price of 69.69, we¡¯ll kidnap you into your very own strange new world and tell you that you better shape up because the good guys are about to get their asses kicked in.¡±

    ¡°Ha, hu!¡± Sam¡¯s pity laugh turned into a cough. He was feeling a little better, but didn¡¯t know how many minutes were left for him to recuperate. It could very well have been six minutes, leaving him only mere seconds before Lin would grab him by his bootstraps and force him to start learning how to fight with a spear. The bastard! In order to avoid imagining such a painful future, Sam tried to turn his mind blank by focusing solely on his breath. He was still breathing by the mouthful, but every couple of breaths hurt less than the previous few before them. Immersed as he was in his breathing, he didn¡¯t notice at first when Lin called him.

    ¡°Sam.¡± Lin¡¯s voice and the touch on his arm made Sam shiver in surprise.

    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± Sam said. Taking a deep breath, he got up. Slowly. Very slowly.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. Now grab that spear and come and join me. We¡¯ll begin with basic thrusting exercises.¡± And he walked off to stand next to the wall on the other side of the bloody room. Sam sighed, and slowly bent down again, making sure to keep his balance and will in order not to fall, and picked up the spear. When it started wobbling and almost fell out of his hand, he grabbed it with his left hand as well. Spear in hands, he joined Lin where he was standing, and tried not to give up before he even knew what the next (or rather first) exercise was.

    ¡°For today we won¡¯t go over anything too technical; just the stripped down form to get you used to the spear,¡± Lin said with arms crossed over the heavier spear. ¡°Stand over here and crouch a little until you feel most comfortable with the spear leaning forward. Now, with both hands, thrust the spear into the wall, moving it back the moment it makes contact and repeating until I tell you to stop.¡± Despite his crying legs, Sam did as he was told and began stabbing at the wall repeatedly. He didn¡¯t know what he was supposed to do, so he simply moved to spear back and forth as though it were a broom.

    ¡°Try to make as little movement as possible,¡± Lin told him after a minute or two of stabbing. Sam did as he was told, but apparently that wasn¡¯t enough for Lin¡¯s standards, for he placed his own spear next to Sam¡¯s hip so that it pricked him every time he went forward to stab. ¡°You¡¯re using your body too much. You should just be using your hands.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be hitting the wall in that case,¡± Sam said between clenched teeth. The lower side of his stomach, now a new arrival to Sam¡¯s list of painful areas.

    ¡°You would. You¡¯re positioned perfectly at the point where you could still touch the wall with the spearhead were your arms fully extended. But your body isn¡¯t used to letting your arms move that much on their own. It¡¯s more natural for the rest of the body to come with up with arms in order to make that final push than to it is let the arms do that themselves. You need to leave that instinct behind. Fighting with a spear is all about reach. The farther you are from your opponent while still being able to hit them, the better. Now, try again. With the arms only.¡±

    Sam complied and got another stab above his hip in return. How the hell does he know that I can reach the wall from here with just my hands? Still, he kept at it; thrusting back and forth, trying to use his arms for the movement and only his arms. Eventually, without even realizing it, he succeeded. Realization only dawned on him when, on the succeeding attempt, he once again felt the blunt head of Lin¡¯s spear. His spirits now uplifted, his newly gained motivation lasted even through almost a dozen more failures until, once again, he was rewarded with a clean thrust.

    The exercise continued very much in that vein; the number of painful stabs between Sam¡¯s painless thrusts, staying relatively the same until, at last, Lin told him to stop. ¡°Very good,¡± he said. ¡°Take a short breather. I left your bottle by your bag.¡± Sam had to look around in order to remember where he left his bag before slinking towards it. After satiating his thirst, much lesser now than before, he opted to stay standing, resting against the wall. Who knew if he could manage to get up a second time?

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    Lin soon called him over once again. First, he showed Sam the correct way to hold the spear when moving. Before moving on to a movement exercise. Sam had to keep the spear at the same position, his hold still, while moving around as per Lin¡¯s commands. This time, there was no punishment for when Sam made a mistake (and he made plenty of mistakes) so besides his legs and arms, there was no other body part partaking in sending pain signals to his brain.

    After a couple of minutes, Lin joined the exercise actively by adopting the same stance as Sam was and levying his spear against him. Now, Sam was supposed to react according to Lin¡¯s movement; retreat when Lin advanced, and advance when Lin retreated. All the while keeping their relative position the same and still moving only with his legs. And this brought the punishment back into the equation. For whenever Sam was too slow to follow in Lin¡¯s footsteps, or followed wrongly, Lin would lightly tap Sam¡¯s spear with his heavier one. Even that small tap was enough to almost throw Sam off balance and weaken his hold on his own spear.

    Eventually, Lin lowered his weapon and called for a stop. Sam was quick to follow as well. Breathing heavily, he leaned on the back of his heels in space and struggled not to drop the spear. ¡°We¡¯ll take another break before continuing, this one a longer than before,¡± Lin said. ¡°Rest up.¡±

    Sam saw no issue with having another break, or a dozen for that matter. And mere seconds after being told to, sat, or more like crashed, down next to his bag and the precious bottle of nectar. A couple of mouthfuls later, and the large bottle¡¯s water supply was greatly diminished. Sam then attempted to dry himself with the small towel he brought with him, but eventually gave up and simply put it behind his back as he leaned down on the floor.

    After some time, Lin sat next to him, spear resting on his legs. ¡°This is going to be much easier and more productive once you¡¯re in better shape. Until then, I think that we should keep our session to once a week. How about it?¡± Sam grunted in agreement and let his mind wander onto the glorious future where he will finally be in the aforementioned ¡°good shape.¡±

    ¡°So who¡¯s the guy you mentioned, Markos something?¡± Sam asked after his consciousness conjured the name back from his short-term memory.

    ¡°Markos Falvan. He¡¯s one of the two elven Chosen, the younger one. I mentioned him because he¡¯s been acknowledged as one of the greatest swordfighters in the Web even before he became Ruler. One of those figures that makes people think that prodigies are a real thing¡­¡±

    ¡°Please tell me that he¡¯s not the strongest Chosen?¡±

    ¡°Why would you care? Because he¡¯s using a sword? I told you to drop that already. And, no, he isn¡¯t the strongest Chosen, not that I know who is or how the Chosen measure their strength. But he¡¯s supposed to be weaker than the queen mother¡ªthe other elven Chosen. Maybe that¡¯s just propaganda, but even if he is the strongest Chosen out there, I highly doubt that it¡¯s due to using a sword.¡±

    ¡°Good to know.¡± Now, if I end up being shit at fighting with a spear, I just need to hope that I won¡¯t die before I reach the level where weapons don¡¯t matter. Or that I won¡¯t make any other suboptimal choices along the way that are going to fuck me later on. Wait a minute, why am I back to criticizing the spear as not being good enough? Didn¡¯t we already mention Malazan? Now don¡¯t nobody come telling me that guy wasn¡¯t the best version of himself. Who¡¯s another cool character that uses a spear? Alexander maybe? But he¡¯s real, and I don¡¯t really want to end up like him. I mean, can you even imagine? Marrying a Persian princess? Oh, just thinking about it is giving me shivers. Achilles maybe? He had that cool ass jumping move in Troy. But, he¡¯s got some pretty stupid fucking weakness. Back of the fucking heel, my ass. Why are you wearing sandals if that¡¯s your fucking weak point? Maybe some of the guys from Romance of the Three Kingdoms? But didn¡¯t they use a halberd?

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference between a halberd and a spear?¡± Sam immediately asked Lin once his curiosity was raised.

    ¡°A halberd has an ax blade below the spearpoint. Why? Are you already looking to leave the spear behind?¡±

    ¡°No, was just wondering what the difference was, figured you¡¯d know. So do people also fight with halberds? Is it considered better than a spear?¡±

    ¡°Again with the ranking. I told you, there are no superior weapons, just superior fighters. And yes, there are those who fight with a halberd, but the increased complexity of using it with magic makes it much less common than a spear.¡±

    After a few more minutes, Lin clapped his hands. ¡°Alright, break¡¯s over. Let¡¯s go.¡± Sam gave a silent cry but made to follow him. They went back to the same exercise from before, only this time Sam had to thrust towards Lin once he finished reacting to his movement. After every thrust, Lin would tell him what he did wrong (with the most frequent mistake being what they spent the first exercise trying to remedy), and very rarely what he did right, before starting to move once again.

    Time turned into a blur as Sam continued to literally follow in Lin¡¯s footsteps. When Lin called a stop to the exercise, it took Sam a couple of seconds to internalize that command before he sprawled himself onto the floor. ¡°Good job. This is enough practice for today. We¡¯ll use the rest of our time for simple visual instruction. Tell me when you¡¯re coherent enough to pay attention.¡±

    Sam nodded and slowly started making his way towards what remained of his water. Emptying the bottle in a few huge gulps, Sam leaned on the wall and closed his eyes. He was bone fucking tired, and he was going to have to do the same thing every fucking week, at the very least. This being only one of the workouts he was going to have to do in order to get his body in combat shape. Sam was beginning to feel the fear creeping into his mind: did he really have it in him to go on like this? It was only two days, and he was already wanting to give up. How was he going to survive the same regimen week in and week out, on top of the other shit that he will also have to do?

    Still, if we¡¯re being honest; didn¡¯t think I have it in me to go as hard as I did just for today. Maybe it¡¯s a sign of things to come¡­ Or! Maybe it¡¯s like biblical lesson kind of deal, pride goes before the fall business. I¡¯m gonna get full of myself because I¡¯ve managed to complete one week of academy life, and then BAM! Second week hits and because I was so prideful before, my fall is going to be even more magnificent.

    Slapping himself, to rid his mind of all the self-defeatist melancholy, Sam open his eyes to see Lin silently observing him from the other side of the room. ¡°Alright, I¡¯m ready,¡± Sam said and made to get up.

    ¡°You can stay there, for this part I just need you to see and listen, so feel free to rest your body.¡± Sam breathed out in relief, and settled more comfortably along the wall. Lin then began to lecture Sam on the finer arts of spearfighting, but not before going on a tangent. ¡°There are two conflicting views on how to teach weaponfigthing, hell, any form of martial arts that is going to be used in combat. The first holds that you must first teach the basics of combat, the underlying frameworks that remain the same no matter what weapon you are fighting with, who you¡¯re fighting, or where. In case it wasn¡¯t already clear, this won¡¯t be how I will teach you. You will be taught the second method: weapon or form comes first and basic understanding of combat follows from it. There are valid arguments for each method of teaching. I will not waste anymore time on explaining why I chose the second one for you. Next¡­¡±

    He then introduced Sam to the parts that made up your basic spear, all three of them. Going over the different uses of each one in combat. Then he started showcasing the different basic moves that the spear excelled at. How to use it offensively, how to use it defensively. He jumped from topic to topic at such speed that Sam was hard pressed to follow. But that was alright, Lin assured him. His little presentation was just meant to get Sam used to thinking in a certain way, and they wouldn¡¯t even be doing it if it wasn¡¯t for Sam¡¯s abysmal shape.

    Sam wasn¡¯t an expert, but it was evident to him that Lin was. Every move Lin made was both throughly calculated and performed effortlessly. At one point Lin told him to follow only his feet, to concentrate on his movement only. At another, he told him to follow only his hands, which apparently was different from following only the spearpoint because that was his next objective. Sam very much doubted that he managed to learn anything from this part of the lesson. But, at the very least, it gave him an ideal to strive for.

    From there, the visual instruction was replaced by a dialogue in which Lin asked him questions about how would he theoretically respond in a combat scenario. And when Sam ultimately gave the wrong answer, he would explain why and give his own examples of the correct way to react. It was during one particular ¡®problem¡¯ that got Lin very animated (even on the art of carrying a dialogue with one¡¯s self, Lin had something to teach Sam) when he was interrupted by Dan entering the room.

    ¡°I see Sam found his way fine,¡± Dan said.

    ¡°He did, got here before me even. Why?¡± Lin asked.

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s nothing. It¡¯s just that if I remember correctly, I asked you to tell me when you found Sam.¡±

    ¡°But I didn¡¯t find him, because he found me¡­¡±

    Sam stifled a laugh.

    Dan sighed. ¡°Quite¡­ And how did the training go?¡±

    ¡°Good enough. As you can see, we had to cut the hands on part short, considering Sam¡¯s physical state.¡±

    ¡°Anything you want to add, Sam?¡±

    ¡°Nothing that¡¯s not vulgar.¡±

    ¡°Very well.¡± Dan said, looking between Sam and Lin before turning to Sam. ¡°May I advise you to take a quick shower before we continue with our day?¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Sam said, ¡°but only if you guys gossip about me when I¡¯m gone. Oh right! Where¡¯s the showers?¡± he asked Lin as he bent down to get his backpack.

    ¡°Down the hall to the right.¡± Sam gave his thanks and made his way towards the shower. There was no one inside, thankfully. Sam might not be ashamed about his body, but he certainly didn¡¯t want anyone to see it and know his shame. Making sure that there was indeed no one inside, turned on the water and whispered, ¡°Web-Web? Can you hear me?¡± No answer. ¡°Web-Web?¡± this time louder. ¡°Hey asshole!¡± in his normal voice. It seemed that interrogating the uninvited AI whether fighting with a spear was the right choice for him or not would have to wait until the bastard deigned to show himself once again.

    Sam didn¡¯t wallow too long in the shower, mainly because he didn¡¯t bring any soap with him, so there was no excuse to do so. After a couple of minutes, he was dressed once again, and only lightly sweating. Fuck, I knew I should have showered with cold water. This always happens. Damn me and my warmth craving skin!

    He made his way back to the training room where he found Lin talking and Dan nodding. ¡°Ah,¡± Dan said, ¡°Sam, you¡¯re back, good. You ready to go?¡± Sam nodded.

    ¡°Just a moment,¡± Lin said. ¡°What about his physical training? If he doesn¡¯t get in shape soon, our sessions together will be much less useful.¡±

    ¡°Sarah Khan will take care of him in that department, so you have no need to worry. Besides, you¡¯re adamant on only having one session a week, no?¡±

    ¡°For now.¡±

    ¡°Then you have no reason to worry. It¡¯ll take him only a month or two to get in good enough shape to make full use of your weekly sessions. Now is that all? Because if you want me to follow your advice and explain some basic knowledge to Sam, we really must be going.¡± Lin still seemed to want and argue, but waved his hand in dismissal in the end. Dan smiled and bid the other man goodbye. Sam did the same, returning a handshake when one was presented to him before following Dan out of the gym.

 Chapter 27

    ¡°Jesus Christ,¡± Sam said once outside, hands shielding his eyes. ¡°The sun¡¯s still up? Feels like I¡¯ve been there a lifetime.¡±

    ¡°Only a few hours, I assure you,¡± Dan said. ¡°Come on now, no reason to dawdle. I¡¯m sure you¡¯d much rather be doing this in an air-conditioned space than outside.¡±

    ¡°Depends on what it is that we are doing. Incidentally, what¡ª¡±

    ¡°Finishing the introduction to the foundations of magic that you got on your first day here. Making sure that you have the adequate theoretical framework to start your practical studies the moment you are able to.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Alright then, let¡¯s get to it.¡±

    Sam once again began his most common acts of the last few days: following another person some place as though he was an unruly six-years old. He clenched his fist in irritation at himself. Like hell was he going to be the guy who got annoyed at people worrying for him and trying to cater to his every moment. Still, he couldn¡¯t help beginning to feel fed up by people always fretting around him.

    I mean, I have two legs again, don¡¯t I? What more do you want from me? Can¡¯t leave me alone for one second? Ooh¡­ yeah, I see what¡¯s going on here. It¡¯s the legs again, the bastards. What¡¯s happening here, and please forgive me for the self-analysis, is that I¡¯ve finally regained my ability to be completely independent, but I¡¯m frustrated because I¡¯ve yet to be able to express it. Sam nodded his head sagely. Still, when the stage you¡¯re playing at pertains to the fate of the entire world, which one of us can be counted as being truly independent? No one, that¡¯s who. I should make sure to remember that. Hopefully internalizing it will prevent me from acting out like a little bitch.

    Seeing as Dan wasn¡¯t inclined to engage him in small talk. Sam felt comfortable getting out his phone to check the time (because he forgot to take the watch¡ªSarah insisted he buy¡ªwhen leaving his room in the morning). Lo-and-behold, it was indeed only a couple of hours after lunchtime. I thought time was supposed to move faster when you¡¯re older. He then noticed that he got some new messages.

    The first one from Sarah read: ¡°hey, how was training?¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t make it to your workout tonight.¡± Sam opted to rip the band-aid straight out.

    ¡°That bad huh?¡±

    ¡°My whole body is in pain. And that was just the way I woke up today. Don¡¯t even ask me how I feel now.¡±

    ¡°How do you feel now?¡±

    ¡°Pretty bad. I lied. I actually woke up surprisingly in not that bad a condition. Our level 8 friend, Lin Jingway, fixed that very quickly.¡±

    She sent him a sad smiley face. ¡°So Dan decided to train you with a spear then? Makes sense, the spear is the easiest weapon to pick up. And Lin is one of the best marital fighters teaching here period, so that makes the choice even easier if he¡¯s free to tutor you.¡±

    ¡°The next person who lectures me about how the spear is the best weapon for me is getting a two-hour lecture about my now forgotten love for two-handed swords.¡±

    ¡°Alright, we¡¯ll just have to make our next work out longer than two hours!¡±

    ¡°No! I take it back. I apologize.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it. Besides that, how did the training itself go? Did you enjoy it? Must be fun ¡®fighting¡¯ for the first time in your life.¡±

    ¡°Well A, it wasn¡¯t the first time because, as I¡¯ve told Lin, I was in a fencing class when I was but a teen. Also, and this I didn¡¯t tell Lin, because I¡¯ve managed to repress it until just now when it burst out again, but I was also an easily enraged kid, which coupled with my then lacking social skills, made me a prime target for physical bullying. I was known as the ¡®always seeing red bull¡¯ back in elementary school.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°No. The last part is a straight up fabrication and besides, I think my picture of those school days is a bit more negative than it really was. Plus, completely absolving me of any blame, which I shouldn¡¯t accept as a proud Catholic cause I haven''t paid anyone to do so. But I¡¯m pretty sure that I did end up getting into a couple of fights. Nothing too serious though, mind you. I was, and still am, very afraid of upsetting the social order and receiving punishment from an institutionalized source of authority.¡±

    ¡°Still, I¡¯m sorry to hear that.¡± She followed with a heart. ¡°So what was the second thing?¡±

    ¡°Come again?¡±

    ¡°I asked you if you had fun with combat training and you said A, that it wasn¡¯t the first time and so on, so what was the second thing?¡±

    Sam was caught unaware with his mouth, or in this case hands, once again running ahead of him. Scrolling up in the chain, he retraced the conversation¡¯s steps in order to remember what he wanted to say. ¡°Oh! Right, I remember now. B. no it wasn¡¯t fun, because it involved me being in serious physical pain as a result of possessing this underdeveloped body. Even if there was ¡®fun¡¯, as you said, to be had, it was hidden beneath layers and layers of aching muscles.¡±

    ¡°So what you¡¯re saying is that you want to exercise even harder in order to be able to enjoy combat training faster?¡±

    ¡°Never put anything in my mouth that isn¡¯t a sweet pastry. Oh, I also wanted to ask you. Dan said that you¡¯ll be in charge of my workout regimen for the time being. Care to confirm?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, he asked for my help, but I was already planning to do that anyway. Why?¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m just not sure how I feel about you picking up this extra burden in order to help me. And it¡¯s not like I won¡¯t know how to exercise on my own.¡±

    ¡°It sounds to me like you don¡¯t want my help¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t want your help. Quite the opposite, in fact, I¡¯d love to get your help. It¡¯s you helping me that I don¡¯t like.¡±

    ¡°You wrote that confusing on purpose.¡±

    ¡°Not true. I think. You can¡¯t really know what goes on inside my brain. But, what I meant is that while I¡¯d love to have you help me, I don¡¯t like the idea of you spending more of your free time in order to help me all the time.¡±

    ¡°lol. What, do you think I¡¯m just going to watch you while doing nothing? I¡¯m going to spend that time working out as well.¡±

    ¡°You get what I mean. Even if you do make use of that time, that¡¯s still some time that you could¡¯ve used for something else.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. For working out with my friends. Look, I gotta go, if you still want to, we¡¯ll talk about this more at dinner.¡±

    Sam sent a thumbs up. But before he could put the phone back down, he remembered that there was still another unread message, this one from an unknown number. Who can it be now? Oh! That¡¯s another song to add.

    The second message read: ¡°Hey Sam! I heard from Dan that the elves have already agreed to send you a teacher for the whole Thread-Weaver business. They also told him that you shouldn¡¯t be learning anything about threads until you¡¯re level 1 at least. So that¡¯s the final final nail in the coffin for your chances to get private lessons from me. Now, now, don¡¯t fret too much. I¡¯m sure that there will be other opportunities for the two of us to become best pals later on. Keep your chin up and good luck in your studies!¡±

    Unless I¡¯m mistaken, that must be from Esther. What ¡®unless?!¡¯ Why the fuck would I be mistaken? That¡¯s obviously from her. Guess I have to add her to my contact list now. I mean, what kind of person just sends another person a message for the first time and doesn¡¯t write who¡¯s it from? A normal, non-obsessive person that doesn¡¯t suffer from social anxiety, probably. And what¡¯s that about a teacher? He wondered and looked at Dan, who was walking silently ahead of him. His other private teacher seemed to be in deep thought, and it took him a couple of seconds to notice Sam staring at him.

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    ¡°Hmm¡­ oh Sam, yes. We¡¯re almost there, don¡¯t worry.¡±

    Sam tilted his face. Did he look worried? ¡°Nah, I¡¯m fine, it¡¯s not that. It¡¯s just that Esther, I¡¯m pretty sure it was her at least, she sent me a message about how our chances for ¡®time together¡¯ are definitely nil cause the elves are apparently sending a teacher for me. That wasn¡¯t really a question, but you get the gist.¡±

    Dan nodded and veered off from the road towards a building on their left. ¡°Oh. I didn¡¯t know she had time to send you a message. I just informed her about it before I came to pick you up¡ª¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t say it like that. It sounds like I¡¯m back in kindergarten and you¡¯re my mom, explaining to me why she¡¯s late again.¡±

    Dan reclined his head in agreement and stepped through the open door into what was perhaps the smallest building Sam had seen on campus as of yet. ¡°My office is on the second floor,¡± he said. ¡°Would you mind waiting for my explanation until we¡¯re both seated and drinking some tea? On that note, would you like some tea?¡±

    Sam looked at the man as though he had just turned insane. ¡°No¡­ no tea. Do you have anything cold?¡±

    ¡°No, but there is a vending machine here somewhere. There¡¯s also water in my office, if you prefer it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I think that¡¯s for the best,¡± answered Sam, who was trying to banish the thoughts of going to town on a bath filled with Oreo milkshake from his head. ¡°Just got this new body of mine. Wouldn¡¯t want to ruin it after only a couple of days.¡±

    ¡°I applaud you for your temperance. But just remember that there is some allowance for soft drinks, and all other matters of empty calories, in your new diet. And here we are,¡± Dan said and grabbed hold of the door handle, clenching it tightly. He held it for a couple seconds more before Sam thought he saw a flash of light on the handle and Dan finally pushed it open. ¡°Magical lock,¡± Dan said without looking back, as though that was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

    Dan¡¯s office was huge, with a large window at the opposite end of the room, serving as the backdrop for an almost equally large table. The walls were lined with pricey looking bookshelves that were half filled with books and half filled with documents. In the middle of the room was a large wooden table with a glass top surrounded by five comfy looking armchairs. There was even a fridge, a sink and a kettle on a kitchen cupboard near the desk. ¡°Nice place,¡± Sam said before he even had enough time to take it all in.

    ¡°Hmm? Oh yes, the office. Thank you. I don¡¯t have much use for all the space most days, but it comes as a requirement for the job. Take a seat. I¡¯ll just go make myself some tea before we start. Oh, and a glass of water for you, I almost forgot.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, mind if I also fill my bottle while you¡¯re at it?¡± Sam asked, taking his empty bottle out of the bag.

    ¡°Nonsense. You¡¯re a guest. I¡¯ll do that for you.¡± He grabbed the bottle out of Sam¡¯s hands.

    Dismissed, Sam had no recourse but to rest on one of the chairs as indicated to him. A great feeling of reliefs passed over him a moment later as he noticed cold air starting to flow around the room. He leaned back on the sit and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the kettle boiling and the water running. What do you know, kettles still work the same way. Now that¡¯s a sound that¡¯s sure to be gone in the future. Enjoy it while you can kids, because sooner or later you¡¯re gonna wake up in a world where everything is made up of old iconographic references whose original form no longer exists.

    Jesus¡­ How the hell did I get on this topic all of a sudden? Oh, yeah¡­ the icons on my phone. I¡¯ll have to note that down for later as a possible topic for a joke. Wait, no, people have definitely made that joke before. But wait a minute! People in the past made that joke, but people in the present might not be aware of them at all. It¡¯s not stealing if it¡¯s an idea that no one alive still remembers.

    ¡°Hey Dan,¡± he called to the man who was in the middle of pouring hot water into a ceramic cup, ¡°just a quick question. Nothing too important, but it popped into my head. Do you know the reason why the phone icon looks the way it is?¡±

    ¡°I think so. It¡¯s because the first phones ever made looked like that, no? Why are you asking?¡±

    ¡°No reason, was just suddenly curious, like I said.¡± So does that mean the joke can work? Or is it the opposite? I sort of forgot what I was aiming for there.

    ¡°Here you go,¡± Dan brought him out of contemplation by handing him a glass of water filled with ice and his bottle back. ¡°So was I right?¡± he asked, while sitting down.

    Sam was distracted, putting his bottle back in his backpack. ¡°About what?¡±

    ¡°The origin of the phone icon.¡±

    ¡°Oh that. Sorry¡­ You¡¯re not exactly right, especially if we take the difference between a phone and a telephone into consideration, but close enough, I suppose. I just wondered if this sort of esoteric knowledge was lost to the world amidst the passage of time and the onslaught of the apocalypse.¡±

    Dan took a sip of his steaming hot drink without nary a blink nor breath blown. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I would consider something like that esoteric knowledge,¡± he said without showing a sign of discomfort at having just imbibed Prometheus¡¯ cursed gift into his own body. ¡°Besides, as far as I know, there wasn¡¯t a lot of modern knowledge that was lost. Most things digital, at least, are probably saved somewhere on the internet.¡±

    ¡°Interesting¡­ Everything you say, even¡­ the over eighteen stuff?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t see why not. You¡¯re talking about porn, right? That¡¯s pretty much the only thing I know of that has an age restriction of eighteen. Well, that and the military.¡±

    ¡°I was indeed alluding to porn, but that was mostly for the comedic effect. My own worries were more for televised audio-visual products. For example: Now that I¡¯m going to be a military man, I will have to rewatch M.A.S.H in order to better appreciate the humor. Minus all the, appropriate at the time of airing, bigotry of course.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not personally familiar with that show, but if it was online before, then I¡¯m sure it still is somewhere.¡±

    ¡°Oh man, you don¡¯t know¡ªNah, doesn¡¯t matter, we have more important stuff to discuss. Also, the message would probably not cut as deep now that the only war you¡¯re familiar with is a completely morally correct one with good and evil easily separated into two teams. I do want to ask you one more thing before we turn our minds to business, however. You said that only porn and the military are eighteen plus, right? What, is everything else as allowed as in Sodom and Gomorrah?¡±

    ¡°Sex work and porn, yes. Maybe gambling as well, but I¡¯m not sure about that. But for everything else that has an age restriction; it¡¯s sixteen. You can drive at sixteen, work at sixteen, vote at¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wait a minute! You¡¯re letting the teenagers vote? How will certain political groups disillusion them with the democratic process now that they have two extra years of being a viable electoral block while still under the influence of authority figures employed and subjected to standards by the liberal democratic state?¡±

    Thankfully, before Sam could further drag the conversation sideways by opening a very complex can of worms, Dan shrugged and said, ¡°After the war, there were plenty of people younger than eighteen that felt that they should have a say about the new government that was slowly forming. Sixteen was the compromise reached and written into the constitution. I¡¯m not well versed in politics, so that¡¯s as far as I know. But I don¡¯t think that we¡¯ve had any problems from the lower voting age.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re still young¡­ Just wait a couple of decades when you¡¯re older. And then come back to me and tell me that you¡¯re fine with this new generation of children shaping the fate of the country they¡¯re living in. Now.¡± He shamelessly cleared his throat. ¡°All this sidetracking is nice and all, but we really must get back to the reason why we¡¯ve gathered here today, Mr. Ritter, if you will?¡±

    Dan looked away from him, down to his cup, and then back at him. ¡°Gladly. And what would that reason be?¡± He took another sip.

    ¡°The elves, man, the elves! The whole Thread-Weaver teacher thing that Esther messaged me about.¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡± Dan smiled. ¡°Well, there¡¯s not much to tell. We had a meeting scheduled in a couple of weeks with our counterparts at the Sarechi Royal Academy. Us representing the entire institution of the Terran military education and them¡­ not so much. Doesn¡¯t matter to you anyway, so don¡¯t worry about it. I requested that we push forward the meeting so we could also discuss your circumstances.¡±

    ¡°Was it before or after you spoke to that Farris guy?¡±

    ¡°Ahem¡­ After, it was after.¡±

    ¡°So that talk didn¡¯t go anywhere, then?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ At the time he told me that he would look into it, pass along your information and whatnot, but that meanwhile I should go through the proper channels. Anyway, I figured that he must¡¯ve done something because otherwise, the elves would never have agreed to advance the date of the meeting with only a day¡¯s notice.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ did the information you passed along to him happen to include the minutes from two days ago?¡±

    ¡°It did.¡±

    ¡°Damn¡­ and he decided to help me in spite of that?¡±

    Dan coughed and turned away to clear his throat before taking a sip of his drink. ¡°Yes well¡­ Whatever the case may be, the elves were still giving us trouble. They said that teaching a ¡®child¡¯ about threads is not something to be done lightly. That a single mistake can cost a person their future as a fighter or even their lives. A lot more bullshit about how there¡¯s a reason why we send all of our Thread-Weaver to study with them and so on¡­ I must admit, I got a little angry at that point; you¡¯d have to have pretty thick skin in order not to be affected by all the deliberate pauses and pointed glances they threw at me due to my own¡­ circumstances with threads.

    ¡°But I digress. Halfway through our meeting, they seemed to reconsider their initial stance. They told us that they were going to¡­ check some things and that we should come back to you in the end. A big waste of my time, but it¡¯s not like I could step out for the duration. I promised the superintendent to be there as a show of strength in order to get her to request the meeting¡¯s advance.¡±

    ¡°Damn, didn¡¯t know you worked so hard as my advocate,¡± Sam said before taking a sip to cool his warming head.

    Dan waved his hands in dismissal. ¡°Nothing more and nothing less than I would have done for any of my other charges, I assure you. Besides, it cannot be overstated what a grave strategic error it would be not to supply you with an appropriate education. And the same goes for uprooting you even further from the life you¡¯ve known. You are, after all, all but guaranteed to become Ruler if treated right. The problem, of course, is that we value a new Ruler much more than the elves do. Not to mention the further difference in value as a result of nationalistic differences, which, however small, still remains.¡±

    Sam nodded. They had no reason to think of him as anything special after all. There might only be a few hundred Rulers in the Web, but that was still hundreds of Rulers. One more wouldn¡¯t change the course of the war one way or the other. Sam and his laconic mental guest were the only ones with delusions of grandeur as to Sam¡¯s future prospects. ¡°So what caused them to relent?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Farris Ninae did. He joined the meeting near its end; said that he had reviewed your information and that he agreed with my recommendation for you to stay in New Terra.¡±

    ¡°How come the change in heart?¡±

    Dan took a very long sip of his drink. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ he didn¡¯t bother explaining himself. Next, he just said that he¡¯ll make sure to send you an appropriate teacher once you¡¯re level 1. Apparently, you have to wait until then to start studying threads¡­ Oh, he also said that after your Awakening, your Threadsight will probably give you trouble so that it¡¯s better to keep your eyes close until it passes. And that was it. He left right after.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ OK then. Who am I to complain, right? Nice of him to be so agreeable, especially after he threatened to kill me. Guess he didn¡¯t read your minutes after all, huh?¡± Sam chuckled. Dan averted his eyes and gave a weak smile in return. ¡°You alright there?¡±

    ¡°Yes, of course. It¡¯s just what you said¡­ I was¡­ reminded of the fact that my writing two days ago proved to be of no use. No one likes their time to go to waste, right?¡±

    ¡°But don¡¯t you write for yourself first and foremost? Although, I guess that I can understand your frustration. It¡¯s not like I never wanted the things I did out of habit or compulsion to also have a more practical rule. And hey, who knows? That Farris sounds like a right weirdo. Maybe he did read what you wrote, and that actually helped clinch his decision.¡±

    Dan finished the rest of his cup in one gulp. ¡°Maybe,¡± he said hoarsely before getting up to refill himself another.

 Chapter 28

    ¡°So I guess we should move on to the stuff about magic that I don¡¯t need to wait a whole year to learn, right?¡± Sam asked after Dan was seated once again.

    ¡°Yes. I that would be the best option, in my opinion. But¡­ I have prepared an alternative in the case that you would like the avoid further study of magical theory.¡±

    ¡°Why would I want to do that? Unless you¡¯re saying that Sarah¡¯s wrong and I should try my hand at practical magic.¡±

    ¡°Nothing of the sort. Let me try and explain my reasoning. In the Terran Republic, we only start teaching about magic in public schools at ninth grade. That is to say, the age when all students are sure to have awakened. For the very simple reason that learning about magic, even the theoretical frameworks that Sarah told you about, is much easier once you¡¯ve had practical experience with it.¡±

    ¡°So what¡¯s the problem? I thought that studying the theory is fine?¡±

    ¡°It is. There is a wealth of information that I could teach you about, all through the next year even, that doesn¡¯t require any practical knowledge of magic. The ningani, for example, have certain individuals who reach intelligence maturity much earlier than the average, stuck without the ability to practice magic for a long time, they still manage to amass considerable theoretical knowledge. But the fact remains that they will have had a harder time acquiring that knowledge than were they to have had the ability to sense magic. The line differentiating between practice and theory exists, yes, but it is a very faint one. And you might find it frustrating, being explained terms that won¡¯t make any sense to you.¡±

    ¡°Look. I¡¯m the last person to stand against the possibility of learning today what can be learnt tomorrow. But at this point, I¡¯m pretty fucking over having people talk to me and acting shocked when I don¡¯t understand stuff that according to them, is basic. Besides, what were you even planning to teach me today if not this?¡±

    Dan nodded in sympathy. ¡°Elven history.¡±

    ¡°Elven history?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Ideally, this is one of the subjects that you will be able to learn in your own time, or possibly embedding yourself into the classes once you are able. But in the absence of anything more difficult for me to teach you, I thought that you might appreciate a softer entrance into the subject. I did think about starting you on Epirak studies; with an examination of the most common variants of Brutes, but I decided that it¡¯d best be saved until I have a definite stretch of time to dedicate solely to that.¡±

    ¡°What like a bestiary? Telling you their strengths and weaknesses and how to best fight them? Cause that sound awesome.¡±

    ¡°Not exactly. The deeper, strategic and tactical, analysis only begins during the second trimester of the second year, to make sure all students have a basic understanding of personal and large-scale combat. The first year studies mostly focus on recognition of enemy types; yes to examining their characteristics, but no to how to fight them.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ Well, if learning that was on the table, then I might¡¯ve been interested in delaying the theory of magic lessons. But as it is¡­ I mean, why the hell is elven history even a subject? You guys are talking the academy part of the military academy too seriously.¡±

    ¡°Except for the dwarves, we teach the history of all the foreign races here. After all, how can you except our soldiers to fight shoulder to shoulder with an elf or an Imperial without knowing anything about them?¡±

    ¡°Why not? You think the US taught its officers anything about the Emirates or the Saudis, in ¡®91? I got more examples if you want, but I¡¯ve been brainwashed by the current state of international relationships studies to always think about the Gulf War first.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re referring to, but I¡¯m sure you do. Let me just say this: I truly believe that our courses on foreign history are an integral part of our teaching in the academies. Nevertheless, if you end up wanting to avoid spending time on the subject, I promise to arrange you an exemption.¡±

    ¡°Nah, that probably won¡¯t be necessary. It¡¯s history, after all. I¡¯m just gonna lap it all up. Wish I could say the same thing about learning magic, though. That¡¯s a hint, in case I wasn¡¯t being unsubtle enough.

    ¡°Yes, I got that.¡± Dan smiled. ¡°Very well, then. From what Sarah told me, she only gave you a very basic explanation of most terms. So I¡¯m going to start from the top if that¡¯s alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure. I probably already forgot half of what she told me. If I ever truly understood it in the first place. And that was basically the only lesson on magic I got since coming here, you know? Two and a half days since then and for some reason, no one bothered to use their time with me to explain things in more depth. I mean, I don¡¯t even know what magic actually is. Is it energy like electricity? Is it a force?¡±

    Dan laughed. ¡°You¡¯re not alone in not knowing what magic is. After your Awakening, you¡¯ll know what magic feels like, but it still won¡¯t lead you to an answer as to what it is. And for practical purposes, it doesn¡¯t even matter. If you¡¯d like, you can consider it as a form of energy. That¡¯s what most people do anyway, since it feels and functions like energy. Certain people, highly interested in the question, might argue that magic itself is not energy and we must differentiate between magic as a concept and magical energy as the substance which we hold in our core¡­ But, like I said, doesn¡¯t matter.

    ¡°And with that, we have our first basic term for examination: the core. You¡¯re familiar with it, of course. Having had a more intimate experience with it than most people, much to the interest of Maurice, I¡¯m told. Practically, you can view the core as simply the storage area for your magic.¡±

    ¡°Yeah I got that,¡± Sam said. ¡°But what I¡¯m not clear on is the whole higher level bit. What does it mean for a level 2 to have twice as much magic as a level 1? Is their core larger? Denser?¡±

    ¡°Both. Or neither. Depends on your own conception of it. Interfacing with the core is a very subjective experience. Everyone sees it in their own, ever changing, way. The core isn¡¯t actually a physical object, it doesn¡¯t take up physical space, and nor does it exist at any one particular point in your body. This is actually an example of the development in our subjective perception of the core. Eventually, no matter how you¡¯ll view the core at first, you¡¯ll see that you can access it from any point in your body. And far off in the future, you¡¯ll find that you won¡¯t need to think of your body at all in order to access it.¡±

    ¡°Is that why, despite it not existing in my physical body, people were still able to interact with it?¡±

    ¡°That is the very end result of that, yes. But, interacting with another person¡¯s core is an incredibly difficult thing to do. As far as I know, no one interacted with yours.¡±

    ¡°So how did that medic guy, Javi, save my life? He told me that he knew I didn¡¯t have a core. And how did the artifact thingy measure my level then?¡±

    ¡°Ah, well, the answer is that they didn¡¯t interact with your core. If I¡¯m not mistaken, what the artifact does, in layman¡¯s terms, is trigger your body to send a tracing towards it with what amounts to one-hundredth of your core¡¯s capacity. It then multiplies it by a hundred and compares it with the capacity it has been set to measure. Now, as to the healing you received from Javi, it also wasn¡¯t anything so special. He might be considered a prot¨¦g¨¦ of Maurice¡¯s, but he¡¯s still some distance away from being able to interact with another person¡¯s core. A distance of three levels if he¡¯s as good as his mentor. From the report I read, he just used basic healing magic to guide your body during your core¡¯s formation. In other words, viewing another person¡¯s core is much simpler than interacting with it. And just to calm your worries, you don¡¯t need to worry about people messing with your core. I, for example, could only help you refill your core were it empty. Which, let¡¯s see.¡± He touched Sam on the arm. ¡°It¡¯s obviously not, because you aren¡¯t able to use it. I was just illustrating how the only information I can gleam from your core is how filled it is. All clear?¡± He smiled.

    ¡°No¡­¡± Sam sighed. ¡°I¡¯m beginning to understand where the frustrating you mentioned might be coming from.¡±

    ¡°Yes, well... Just remember that once you¡¯re able to experience magic, this will make much more sense. Like, for example, tracing. I won¡¯t bother trying to explaining how to do it right now, you¡¯ll see for yourself that it¡¯s very intuitive. Just remember the term. It¡¯s the process of moving magic, or magical energy, from one point to another.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and you can only trace through pathways, right?¡±

    ¡°Pathways and patterns, yes. We use the term pathways to also mean those artificially created by patterns, but the ningani and deshars use it only to mean the naturally occurring ones.¡±

    ¡°Like in my body?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. That¡¯s why the common metaphor for explaining what pathways are is comparing them to blood vessels, only without all the different types. Pathways carry all magic through the body and they can go either way.¡±

    ¡°So does that mean that unlike the core, they¡¯re a physically on my body?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Although, you won¡¯t be able to see them with the naked eye, as they are still completely magical in nature. But you will be able to see them once you can sense magic. And you¡¯ll see that they are spatially located. Were you to lose your hand, you¡¯d also lose access to the pathways in it.¡±

    ¡°And artificial ones are those found outside of the body? In patterns on weapons?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly. All patterns should be considered as a form of artificial pathways. That is because even when we imprint inside our own body, we are not creating the pattern inside of our pathways, but outside of them, extending from them. So, for example, imagine the pathway going through my arm as one straight line. In order to make a pattern whose effects will make my arm as tough as stone, I¡¯ll have first create an opening in it, and from that opening imprint the desired pattern through my body. It¡¯s alright if it doesn¡¯t make much sense right now. Imprinting is a difficult topic to grasp without prior understanding of how pathways and tracing works. And it requires you to be level 1 to be able to do it, so you have plenty of time before needing to worry about it anyway..¡±

    Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Really? Is that why 1 is the base level?¡±

    ¡°Possibly. We don¡¯t know. We got the system of levels designation from the Reshan. Oh, the Reshan are¡ª¡±

    ¡°I know what they are.¡± Sam had had quite enough of the AI creating bastards. ¡°Wait, so if I can¡¯t imprint, how will I use the universal translator? Aren¡¯t artifacts made with patterns?¡±

    ¡°They are. And even if the answer to what constitutes an artifact varies greatly from person to person, no one would argue that the translator isn¡¯t one. But you don¡¯t need to be level 1 in order to use patterns. To use a pattern, same as to use the translator, you only need to start tracing through it. The moment you do, and this is what differentiates a pattern from a simple artificial pathway, the pattern will grab hold of the energy you¡¯ve traced, and carry it through itself¡ªas long as you¡¯ve traced enough energy¡ªto a complete rotation.¡±

    ¡°That sounds really complex. I¡¯m going to have to trace thorough the translator every time I want to use it?¡±

    ¡°Thankfully no. The pattern on the translator is what we call a sustained pattern. Once you trace through it, provided you completed the first rotation, the pattern will continuously trace magic from the core to itself without needing your input. Only stopping if you run out of magic or if you¡­ tell it to stop. Stopping is more difficult than starting, but you won¡¯t have to worry about that. No reason for you to turn off the translator, after all.¡±

    ¡°What if other people imprint a pattern for me until I¡¯m level 1? Cause there¡¯s a bunch that I heard about and I want to try.¡±

    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m afraid that is not going to happen. It¡¯s impossible to imprint on another living being. Don¡¯t ask me why, because we don¡¯t know.¡±

    Sam groaned. ¡°Guess I¡¯m not getting out of brushing my teeth anytime soon. So what¡¯s the opposite of a sustained pattern? Active one? No, that doesn¡¯t make a sense. Burst?¡±

    ¡°Conscious, is the term you¡¯re looking for. There are also semi-conscious patterns. Patterns with the ability to switch between being sustained or not on the fly.¡±

    ¡°How does that work?¡±

    ¡°By creating a dead space of sorts between the desired effects of the pattern and the effect that makes it function constantly. Don¡¯t worry about that too much now. I¡¯ll show you after we¡¯ve had a couple of lessons on patterns together. And, like I said, patterns are still a way off for you to worry about how to work with them.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ alright.¡± Sam leaned back with a sigh. ¡°But I can still make use of magic by tracing, right? Sarah said that patterns are basically just a preset configuration for tracing.¡±

    ¡°Indeed. That is why the artificial pathways patterns are built upon are significantly smaller than your regular pathways. If you simply trace through your pathways, following their trajectory, it won¡¯t have any effect. You¡¯re just moving the magic in a straight line. In order for magic to have an effect, you need to trace it in a certain way. And while imprinting has to wait until level 1, tracing the same configuration that the pattern is meant to replicate, is not. For example.¡± He held out his index finger, the top of which suddenly started bleeding. ¡°While making a cut in your body is a somewhat difficult bit of tracing. Closing a cut¡ªregenerating a small wound¡ªis the most basic form of tracing there is, connecting your pathway to your body in order to send magic into your wholly physical self.¡± He took a tissue from the table and wiped his finger clean. There wasn¡¯t a cut to be seen.

    ¡°That easily?¡±

    ¡°For small wounds, yes. All the magic really did was kick my body¡¯s natural healing into overdrive, hastening the process of blood clotting and so on. Real healing magic is much more complex than that. No matter how much magic I would pour into my arm, it would never be enough for it to reconnect with my hand were it to be cut off. And of course, the real difficulty of healing magic is not in healing yourself but other people. Just tracing through another person¡¯s body is an order of magnitude more difficult than your own. Not to mention how much more complex affecting patterns are to imprint and difficult to work.¡±

    Dan stopped to take his first sip in a long while. ¡°That¡¯s pretty much it for the basic introduction to all the terms, but one, that you¡¯ve talked to Sarah about.¡±

    ¡°So next up is gathering?¡±

    ¡°No. Before that, I wanted to go over two other basic terms. I understand why Sarah didn¡¯t mention them to you. One being not so important to the both of you, and the other being too¡­ esoteric. But I still want to go over them. We¡¯ll leave gathering for last. My explanation for it builds upon the other terms.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°This is starting to get complex enough to trigger my anxiety¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. You¡¯ll come to it easily, like fish to water. Once you start practicing, everything we talked about today will make intuitive sense to you. So, are you ready to go on, or would you like to take a small break?¡±

    ¡°No, no. I¡¯m just complaining for the hell of it. Let¡¯s go on.¡±

    ¡°Alright. So the first of the terms is called sculpting. This is where it can get confusing, because inside your body, sculpting and imprinting are functionally the same thing. Wait, before you ask any questions, let me explain. Sculpting is the process of reshaping your pathways, and it has two facets. The first is to bring your pathways more in line with your body in order to lower the resistance of tracing magic into it. The second one is to better the pathways themselves, which mostly consists of enlarging them so they could carry more magic. If you don¡¯t do that, you ran the risk of your level getting ahead of your pathways¡ª¡±

    ¡°And your head exploding? Is that why Maurice wants to check up on me after I¡¯ve awakened?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure that your head exploding is a viable result. But permanent injury and death certainly are. Also, Maurice is not worried at all about that happening to you. He¡¯s simply following protocol and a heavy dose of scientific curiosity. He¡¯s not worried for the same reason you won¡¯t have to worry about sculpting. You¡¯re a Taken. Your pathways are already perfect, or as close to as possible. No need to enlarge them, no need to better their connection with your body. According to Maurice, he never had to sculpt once, all the way to level 8. Which most likely means that he won¡¯t have to at all, because of how stuff works at those last two levels. So while I am going to teach you about the basics of sculpting once you reach level 1, we won¡¯t delve into it in the depth which the academy requires. You simply won¡¯t need it.¡±

    ¡°But won¡¯t I need it for imprinting?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Ahem¡­ Let me explain from the top: The mechanical process of sculpting and in-body imprinting are the same thing, a form of tracing which you can only start doing once you¡¯re level 1. The difference between the two is conceptual only. The same way we differentiate between natural and artificial pathways, we do between sculpting and imprinting. Sculpting is the process of changing natural pathways, and imprinting is the process of changing, or rather creating, artificial pathways. Think of it like digging a hole. Functionally, you¡¯re doing the same thing, whether you¡¯re digging a crop field or a trench. You use the same shovel and arms for both. But knowing how to dig a good trench won¡¯t help you with making a good field and vice versa.¡±

    ¡°So using this metaphor, the act of digging is the form of tracing you talked about. And imprinting and sculpting differ based on what end result we wish for? It¡¯s the same process and the difference in terms comes from the function we assign to it?¡±

    ¡°Exactly.¡±

    ¡°That can¡¯t be a common metaphor¡­¡±

    ¡°It is. I assure you.

    Sam grunted but decided not to pursue complaining about this subject just yet. ¡°So where does imprinting a weapon come into the picture? Is it also the same thing?¡±

    ¡°No. But don¡¯t bother about it now. If you¡¯ll want, you could take some courses on artifice, that¡¯s the official term for imprinting objects, once you got your bearing. But there¡¯s a reason why none of those courses are mandatory. All of what we might teach you during your three years here will not help you make a better weapon than the one you are given by the army.¡±

    ¡°Alright¡­ no artifice for me, then.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be so certain. You might find that you like the subject if you try it. But, at the end of the day, I¡¯m going to give you your choice of electives and it¡¯ll be up to you to choose between them. I will only offer you guidance. Anyway, we¡¯ve finished with sculpting. Was it all clear?¡±

    ¡°As clear as can be.¡± Sam sighed.

    ¡°Good enough. So let¡¯s move on to the next term. Like I said, it won¡¯t make much sense to you now. Matter of fact, it probably won¡¯t make much sense until you get close to level 1, but it¡¯s important for you to know about it anyway. It¡¯s called muddling.¡±

    ¡°Muddling? Are you joking?¡±

    ¡°No. That¡¯s the name. Muddling is the term for making the core more compatible with¡­ not your body, really. Perhaps the soul or spirit is a more apt parallel?¡±

    ¡°The soul¡¯s real? Like it¡¯s scientifically proven?¡±

    ¡°No. But because the core is so distinct from your body, most people don¡¯t think of it in physical terms. Think of it as being powered by your mind, or consciousness, to be even less physical.¡±

    Sam nodded his head angrily. ¡°So it¡¯s metaphysics. You¡¯re talking with me about fucking metaphysics. Makes sense we¡¯d get drawn to it eventually. The core doesn¡¯t exist physically, so can it still actually exist? Oooh¡­ what an interesting question¡­ I¡¯m sure Aristotle would just love to ponder that when he¡¯s not busy shitting on Plato¡¯s forms.¡±

    ¡°I warned you that understanding what the core is like is impossible without experiencing it for yourself.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna stop you right there, because I do understand what the core is. I mean conceptually, at least, it¡¯s the place where magic comes from. Pretty simple; nice and easy. But, according to my understanding of what a core is, and again, I¡¯m no expert, but most, if not all, instances of a core have it being ¡®muddled¡¯ a bad thing. You¡¯re supposed to make the core more clear and pure, is usually how it goes.¡±

    ¡°Who told you that?¡±

    ¡°You know¡­ books and such. Maybe some video games or movies even. It¡¯s a pretty basic fantasy term at the end of the day.¡±

    ¡°Must be a reason why it¡¯s called fantasy then¡­¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s not get into an epistemological debate on top of the metaphysical one we¡¯re already having. You¡¯re saying that instead of a pristine and orderly core, I want a mixed bag one?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just the term given to the process. It¡¯s not meant to be taken completely literally. Imagine your core like a block of marble. Muddling would be the process of changing it from the basic, meaningless state, to something more in line with your own self. Hence the names for the different states of the core. Solid, which is what you are now. Fragmented, which you¡¯re sure to become, as is everyone, including the Taken, according to Maurice, around level 1. Next you have, malleable and at the end ethereal. The practical importance of having a ¡®higher¡¯ stage of muddled core is that it helps with drawing magic out of it¡ªfor use in tracing¡ªand, much more importantly, with cultivating.¡±

    ¡°So how does this muddling work in practice? Is it something that I can start doing right now?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t worry about it. Like I said, you¡¯ll end up with a fragmented core near the time you hit level 1 anyway. And it¡¯ll be much easier for you to understand what I¡¯m talking about then. In fact, most people don¡¯t bother with active muddling because of the difficultly and unease of the practice. Especially since your core will naturally become more muddled with the passage of time and natural muddling increases the higher your level. Pretty much every level 10 is guaranteed to have an ethereal core even if they¡¯ve never actively muddled in their life.¡±

    ¡°You can, however, also accelerate your natural muddling in ways other than just having a higher level. But because we haven¡¯t managed to figure out the underlying logic being it, there¡¯s two competing main schools of thought on how to do that. The first one simply states that you must be yourself and your core will react accordingly. In other words, it doesn¡¯t tell us anything, which is why I never cared for it. The other approach is more clinical. We find the methods which our core positively reacts to, and we maintain in doing them. For example, when I was sixteen or so, a year after I made it to level 1 and got my core to fragmented, I found that drinking scalding hot tea to have a definite effect on my core. I don¡¯t know why that¡¯s so. I don¡¯t very much appreciate the effort I had to extend on tracing my tongue to withstand the temperature before I caved in and got a pattern for that. But, it works. Can¡¯t deny that.¡± He smiled and took another sip.

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ nice.¡± Sam lied. Please God, for the love of yourself, if you¡¯re out there and Nietzsche accused us unjustly. Please don¡¯t make me become a person that drinks anything but water regularly. Not even coke, oh great and merciful Lord. I¡¯m a water boy¡ªas I¡¯m sure you could see if you were to take an average urine analysis from throughout my entire life¡ªand I don¡¯t want to become anything else. Web-Web, if you can hear me, please tell me that you hadn¡¯t brought me into a world that would force me to be someone I¡¯m not. I swear to God, if it turns out that what I have to do in order to save the world is to reread Wheel of Time, I¡¯m going to turncoat and give myself a stupid nickname that only I would get like the Latin Prisoner.

 Chapter 29

    ¡°So, are we clear on muddling?¡± Dan asked him after finishing his sip.

    ¡°You did that on purpose,¡± Sam accused him, inwardly applauding the pun. Or was it wordplay? What¡¯s the difference between the two anyway? It¡¯s not a simile, that¡¯s for sure. And¡­ that does it for all the clever terms that I know of. Wait, irony¡ªHe shook his head. ¡°Yes, I think I¡¯m clear on that. So now gathering? You mentioned how having a more muddled core helps you cultivate better. And I seem to recall Sarah saying the terms were interchangeable.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s not strictly true. It¡¯s more correct to say that cultivating is always gathering, but gathering is not always cultivating. It¡¯ll make more sense to you when you can actually gather and see for yourself. For now, all you need to know is that the term gathering describes the process as a whole. And the term cultivating only describes one possible end result of the process, of using the magic you gather in order to increase your core¡¯s capacity.¡±

    ¡°That a real headache. Who the hell came up with all those terms. Wait, let me guess, you got it from the elves.¡±

    Dan smiled. ¡°Gathering and cultivating are indeed the English translations for the terms used by the elves. But rest assured, the headache exists for them as well.¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes, trying to discern if there was another point of weakness he could find and attack in the basics of this world¡¯s setting. Wait, no! he immediately chided himself once he realized what he¡¯s been thinking. Bad Sam! Bad! Stop trying to ridicule the worldbuilding in an attempt to poke holes at the objectivity of this new reality! You¡¯re being a very naughty boy and you¡¯re going to make the almost certainly real people who like you and want to help you¡ªyour new friends, in other words¡ªvery sad if they found out what you¡¯re thinking of them. Now apologize to all the people whose existence you¡¯ve just doubted and promise to stop thin¡ª

    ¡°Sam?¡± Dan said, ¡°you alright?¡±

    ¡°Mm? Huh, yeah, totally¡­¡± Sam coughed and took a sip of water in order to hide his embarrassment. ¡°I was just¡­ considering¡­¡± Phelbas. No don¡¯t say that. Why the hell did this of all things is what jumped to my mind? ¡°How much I hate linguistics. Or was it philosophy of language that I didn¡¯t care about? Whichever are the guys that clown on Chomsky¡¯s theory are the ones that I¡¯m alright with. But never mind that, we were talking gathering.¡±

    ¡°We finished talking about gathering. There is nothing more for me to say that wouldn¡¯t require hands on experience.¡±

    ¡°Really? That¡¯s it?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s it.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ So what¡¯s next?¡±

    ¡°Nothing. We¡¯ve covered everything that I wanted to talk to you about. Now we just need to make sure that you¡¯ve understood all of it. So, please, run by me everything that we¡¯ve talked about today, matter of fact, everything that you know or think you know about magic. Make sure that I didn¡¯t miss anything and that you¡¯ve got it all right.¡±

    ¡°Sure. Cause that¡¯s just the sort of things that make life fun. Recaps.¡± Despite saying that, Sam still complied. Because you can¡¯t fool around when the fate of the world is at stake. Finished, he crossed his hands in satisfaction, secure in the knowledge that Dan must be shocked to his core at Sam¡¯s ability to retain simple knowledge. ¡°Anything I missed?¡± he asked Dan when he got bored with virtually patting himself on the back.

    ¡°None of the things we¡¯ve covered today and nothing else that you should know about, I¡¯m happy to declare. Of course, you will have to learn every topic we¡¯ve discussed today, even, though to a lesser degree, sculpting, in much more depth in the coming years. If it sounds like a lot, I assure you, it isn¡¯t, especially if you end up staying for the whole three and a half years. But whatever the future holds, remember that even when I¡¯m no longer your private tutor, as long as I¡¯m still here, you can always come to me with questions or for advice.¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°Thanks. That¡¯s¡­ really nice. Really nice. And in case that I haven¡¯t already said it: I¡¯m really thankful, despite all the bellyaching, for all the help you¡¯ve been giving me. All of you. I know that there¡¯s the whole pragmatic aspect: my high chances of becoming a Ruler in the future. But still, you guys are going above and beyond treating me as nicely as you¡¯ve been.¡±

    Dan shook his head with a slight laugh. ¡°Nothing above and beyond, I assure you. At the very least, I¡¯m just doing my job. Which is a very small price to pay for having the credit for another Terran Ruler in my cap. Not to mention that if I wasn¡¯t being nice to you, Maurice and Sarah, who, I¡¯m sure, will also argue that they¡¯re not going above and beyond, would have my hide. And while they don¡¯t pose much threat to me currently¡­ Who knows what will happen in the future? Sarah is sure to become a Ruler just as much as you are, and while the question still remains with Maurice¡­ He could more than make up for his own lack of power by calling on the help of the many great figures his talents have netted him as friends. So really, I¡¯m driven more by the sense of self preservation than anything else.¡± He smiled. ¡°Still, if there is anyone that deserves your gratitude, it¡¯s those two, particularly Sarah. Of course, I¡¯m sure that you¡¯ve already thanked them before, but in case that you feel it wasn¡¯t enough¡­ just remember not to overdo it with the show of appreciation so that you¡¯re no longer being authentic to who you are.¡±

    Sam chortled. ¡°You make it sound like being thankful is anathema to who I am as a person. I¡¯ll have you know that I am a very grateful person. For example, I always thank the bus driver when I¡¯m stepping off the bus (unless I took it for just one station and I¡¯m feeling really down). Furthermore, I also always thank the person sitting next to me and blocking me from getting out when they make space to let me move. Even if they have been an annoying little shit by talking on the phone or not stepping out of the sit completely, just pulling their legs back, in order to let me out. The only exemption is if they have been really infuriating: like one of those people who tells you that they¡¯re also getting off at the next stop and they don¡¯t get up until after the doors had opened. Now those people, they don¡¯t deserve a thank you. The only thing they deserve is a slap to their stupid, lazy faces! Sorry¡­ It¡¯s just those types of people are the worst. And there¡¯s always this one guy that I keep coming to that did this to me and I just want to¡­¡± He made a strangling motion.

    Dan held up his hands. ¡°Fair enough. You¡¯re a very appreciative person. My apologies for making it seem otherwise.¡±

    ¡°Apology accepted. Just another example of how nice how I am. So by the way, the case of you no longer being available for education. Is that far off in the future, like after I no longer need your constant attention and teaching? Or could that be next week as well?¡±

    ¡°The first one. But even that is not very likely. At most, I might leave for a month or two, probably during the trimester breaks like I just did. But¡­ who knows what the future holds? If something outrageous happened, like the front collapsing or me becoming a Ruler, I doubt that I¡¯ll be able to remain here in my pedagogic capacity. But unless something of that order of magnitude happens¡­ No, I¡¯m not planning to be away from my duties here for any long period of time.

    If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    Sam inwardly gave a breath and felt some of the tension he didn¡¯t realize he held in his shoulders relax. It seemed that he really took a liking to old Dan Ritter here. Or maybe it was just the social anxiety talking, and he was reluctant to make acquaintance with yet another authority figure. Of course, it could just as well have been regular anxiety that focused more on Sam¡¯s future obligation and his fear of not being up to the task thrust upon him. On a fourth thought, it¡¯s probably the fact that I went thorough a grueling workout two days in a row, and my body doesn¡¯t appreciate existing right about now.

    Dan slapped his thigh, drawing Sam¡¯s attention back to him. ¡°It seems I¡¯ve grossly underestimated how much time it would take me to cover the basics of magic,¡± he said with a sarcastic smile, while pointing at his watch. Analog, just when I was starting to like the guy. ¡°So before we finish with this first study session of ours, is there anything that you want to ask about some of the stuff we¡¯ve covered today?¡±

    Sam mulled the thought around in his brain. ¡°There¡¯s plenty of stuff. But I think most of them are a suffering from the intuitive understanding problem or that they¡¯re ¡®we¡¯ll cover this in the future¡¯ kind of questions. Well, there is one thing that¡¯s been bugging me now that I think about it. The core is where all of my magic is stored, right?. Does that mean that if I empty myself of magic that it will recreate all of it up to capacity eventually?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a bit more complicated than that, but essentially you¡¯re right.¡±

    ¡°So what happens to patterns that I¡¯m already tracing magic through them? Say I filled my body with sustained patterns, would that allow me to hold twice the amount of magical energy, half in my patterns and half in my core?¡±

    ¡°That is a loaded question that touches on some very difficult subjects like tracing resistance and dissipation. But leaving that aside, you can take it as a guaranteed truth that the amount a core refills in a second is less than the amount tracing expends. As for patterns¡­ We haven¡¯t touched upon this yet, but there is another meaning for the term ¡®capacity¡¯, or more correctly, the word affixes itself to a different term. The first is core capacity, which you¡¯ve understood correctly, and the seconds is pattern capacity, which derives itself from the first. Pattern capacity is dictated by how much energy your core passively recovers in a second and thus how many patterns you can have rotating at once without beginning to empty your core. We won¡¯t get into how to measure it right now, but just understand that, like with tracing, it¡¯s impossible to have more magical energy flowing through your patterns than the maximum possible amount in your core.¡±

    ¡°So your max energy is determined only by your core. And there isn¡¯t any way to change it aside for messing with the core itself. So that means that even if I lose my hand or another body part, that won¡¯t carry with it any magical drawback. That¡¯s good to know. One less thing to worry about, right?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Any¡­ reason, for this particular fear?¡±

    Sam shook himself in surprise. He was so focused on catastrophizing this sudden new notion that floated through his mind that he didn¡¯t even stop to consider how abrupt and weird this line of questioning might appear to an outside observer (or obvious, to a knowledgeable one). And while he liked Dan and respected him as a fellow human being and all, he wasn¡¯t quite comfortable admitting his true thought process to the man.

    ¡°Oh¡­ nothing really major, you know.¡± He stretched out his words, taking the time in order to make up an answer. ¡°I was just wondering, not for any immediate concern or anything, but more in a general, far off to the future, capacity. Whether my body has any bearing on how much magic I have. Like, if I was fatter than I am already, would that allow me to pack on a bit more magical mass, so to say? Which isn¡¯t possible, right? Only the core determines that and the core isn¡¯t affected by anything of the bodily physical dimension, yes?

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s really all it was, you see? I was just wondering. Because, aside from the whole question of whether I would have to start packing on mass, if, say, magic is determined by your body than that would mean some serious stylistic changes for your truly if I hope to become my optimal self. Like me having to grow my hair and beard, in the case that they also increased your magic capacity.

    ¡®But I guess that it¡¯s not really growing that was my problem, but the opposite. I¡¯ll be honest with you. My real fear was concerned with something a bit more private, so stop me if this makes you uncomfortable. My chain of thought went to the admittedly highly unlikely but still theoretically possible future in which I found myself a woman to be in a committed romantic relationship with. Now, as a modern man, with modern sensibilities, I take a certain pride in my appearance. Or, to put it bluntly: I start feeling mortified when I don¡¯t conform to the common stylistic choices.

    ¡°One of which is the trimming of one¡¯s¡­ no reason to dance around it¡ªpubic hair; manscaping, as it is colloquially known. Of course, the exact fashion in which a person configures their downstairs area is up to them and them alone. But compromises must be made in the case a person is part of a long term sexual relationship. Both people (or however many more, if you¡¯re a sexual deviant) have their own needs and wants and must reach a consensus regarding their preferred view for the genitalia.

    ¡°However, as I am an insecure young man, prone to following the popular trends of fashion. It is highly likely that before engaging in sexual intercourse with my, hypothetical of course, future partner, I would take a razor, or some other device meant for hair removal and cut the hair short of my own volition. Now, my fear was that I would end up like another man who had a haircut as a result of a dalliance with a female seductress. And it just so happens that said man might be called my namesake if a person didn¡¯t know any better.

    ¡°Yes indeed! I was afraid that much like the biblical hero Samson, I too would lose my strength after engaging with the opposite sex. Only in my case, it would have been my pubic hair that held the secret to my great power, and which loss rendered me weak and emasculated. Perhaps I would have my very own Delilah to hand me over to my Philistine enemies, the dreaded Epiraks in our scenario. And unlike brave and prideful Samson, I would not have God on my side, to restore my strength at my greatest hour of need and allow me to bring the hall of my captivity down on myself and all the Epirak leadership.

    ¡°But fortunately, magic doesn¡¯t have anything to do with your physical characteristics. So I can trim my privates to my heart¡¯s desire, secure in the knowledge that no woman would be able to hand me over to my enemies as a result of hair loss. Ye¡­ep, that¡¯s pretty much what I was thinking. Stupid, I know, but what can you do? The brain thinks about what the brain wants to think about, right?¡±

    Dan opted not to answer right away, instead making sure to savor the tea¡¯s taste as the last of the cup¡¯s liquid disappeared down his throat. ¡°I¡¯m happy to tell you that you should posses no worries in that¡­ aspect. Hair holds no magical qualities whatsoever.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good. That¡¯s good.¡± Sam nodded. ¡°Good. Yeah. That¡¯s good.¡±

    Dan chuckled. ¡°So if you have nothing else to ask, we¡¯ll end it here for today. We¡¯ll continue our lessons tomorrow, sometime after lunch. I have a prior commitment in the morning that I can¡¯t cancel. I¡¯ll text you when I¡¯m done and we¡¯ll meet back up here. Sarah told me that she¡¯ll keep an eye out for you until then, so I return you to her capable hands. In the meantime, if you happen to think about anymore questions, write them down and we¡¯ll go over them if we can.¡±

    ¡°Sure, no problem.¡± Sam quickly finished what remained in his glass. ¡°See you tomorrow, then. Thanks again for today.¡± Dan got up and accompanied him out of the door. Sam took a moment to reorient himself, and then another moment to regain his balance after his body just had to remind him of the status it was in. He took a deep breath and steadied himself by leaning on the now closed door. A short while later, he felt capable of walking once again and started making his way downstairs and out.

    That went well. A lot easier to learn new knowledge when you¡¯re sitting down in a cool environment and you¡¯re not busy breaking apart your body. I mean, it¡¯s the future; couldn¡¯t they have some VR shit that lets you train in combat without tiring your body out? Fuck¡­ I feel like dying, and it¡¯s going to have to be like this every single day until I¡¯m up to snuff.

    Damn, I should have brought my new headphones along. Now I¡¯m going to have to walk with nothing to occupy my thoughts. Ooh, look who¡¯s suddenly unhappy about the fact he gets to go places by himself¡­ Mr. you don¡¯t need to babysit me all the time, I can be by myself for more than a couple of minutes. Fat load of bollocks, that was. You didn¡¯t even raise a stink after hearing that Sarah was going to waste more of her time babysitting you tomorrow.

 Chapter 30

    He made his way out of the building and under the fake skies, with their fake orange hues almost completely faded. He felt only a small pang of anxiety at the sound of the unfamiliar ringtone (there was an ongoing internal debate on whether to go back to the old one or find a new one) which was always something to be proud of. The last vestiges of anxiety dispersed once he saw the caller.

    ¡°Hey! I just finished my last class of the day. How about you?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Also. Dan let me go barely two minutes ago. Most definitely because we ran out of time and not because of something I said.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t get it. Was that a joke? What did you say?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about.¡±

    ¡°Fine. I¡¯ll just make you tell me at dinner. We are still meeting for dinner, right?¡± Sam had no recourse but to assent. Not having anything better to do definitely helped with the decision-making process (he wasn¡¯t going to argue that making a playlist counted as something more worthwhile to do than meeting with friends). He hung up the call and started making his way towards the mess hall that¡¯s closet to halfway to where they both were. It seemed Sarah failed to realize that as a weak and enfeebled person, Sam deserved the lesser walking distance to dinner. Or maybe she did take that into account, but she also took into account her being a woman and thus of a frailer and more pitiful physique.

    The incredibly long and unfair walk proved to require only a little exertion thanks to the cool evening air, and Sam was very appreciative of the fact that he had yet to start sweating by the time he got to the mess hall. Sarah was already waiting when he got there and pulled him into a hug without even consulting with him first. ¡°So how was your day?¡± she asked once she let go of him.

    Sam grunted. ¡°How about we get going and start grabbing food before you start interrogating me? It¡¯d be more efficient time wise that way.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ you¡¯re just grumpy cause we¡¯ve been a part for so long.¡± Sarah teased him with a smile but still began walking into the building.

    ¡°I¡¯m not grumpy. Only little kids and dwarves are grumpy. When an adult male is in a foul mood, it¡¯s called brooding. And when a middle-aged woman reads about one such male in one of her romantic thrillers, it¡¯s called swooning.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯re serious enough to be brooding. You¡¯re too lighthearted. A brooding guy can¡¯t make a joke about middle-aged women reading habits,¡± she said while they grabbed their trays and began hunting down their meal.

    ¡°Nevertheless, I demand that from now on you will not consider me in any adjective that I have not previously allowed or that can¡¯t be used to describe Aragorn, both movie and book versions.¡± Sam was mentally trying to recall what he was supposed to eat for dinner today and when that wasn¡¯t enough, he got out his phone to look at the nutritionist¡¯s recommendation.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen the movies.¡±

    ¡°As long as you read the books, that¡¯s fine. Just as well, really. Who knows what little movie trivia remained public knowledge after all these years? A viewing of the Two Towers without all participants being aware, or being made aware, that Vigo broke his toe in that one scene is made lesser for the fact.¡±

    He suddenly stopped in place. A biological thought had just occurred to him. ¡°So¡­ quick question, I was advised to take daily protein supplement, as I¡¯m sure you can see, along with a bunch of other stuff. And that just made me think, if protein is OK, and we are in the middle of a life and death war where we need to be in peak physical form, why are we not¡ª¡±

    ¡°Using steroids?¡± Sam nodded in mute confirmation. ¡°So without even going into a discussion, whether steroids would be helpful to us, not to mention healthy in the long run. It doesn¡¯t matter, because they don¡¯t work anymore. Two reasons for that: One is that our new bodies are using magic in addition to all the hormones our body naturally creates to grow to build themselves. The second is that the hormones themselves also have a new magical quality to them. Essentially steroids are lacking a magical component that we haven¡¯t figured out yet in order for them to work. Protein still helps because it is a basic enough component to not be affected by magic, so the same old supplements still work.¡±

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t actually know what steroid actually are or how they work. So I¡¯ll just have to take you at your word when you say that they¡¯re not going to help me,¡± Sam said as they sat themselves down. ¡°Guess I¡¯m gonna have to go at it natty. Which, sure, it isn¡¯t the worst fate in the world. But it also isn¡¯t the best.¡±

    ¡°At least your balls aren¡¯t gonna shrink.¡±

    ¡°Why are you saying it like it¡¯s a positive? A whole new body and those two still look like a just cause for medical intervention.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°My mistake. So, now that we¡¯re sitting, how was your day?¡±

    ¡°It was alright, a little painful in the middle, but otherwise I mostly sat and signed or learned stuff.¡± He began regaling her with the short version of the day¡¯s multitude of events. Mostly focusing on how difficult the combat training was and trying to further gauge her stance towards him fighting with a spear. She made no comment in disagreement with the choice and a couple more showing her favorable opinion on it, so Sam finally had to let it go. At least until Web-Web showed their face again and Sam could grill them on it.

    ¡°So what did you tell Dan that might have caused him to kick you out?¡± Sarah asked once he finished his recounting.

    ¡°It was just a joke. No wait, I meant that I was just joking when I told you about him kicking me out. But I also happened to have told him a very stupid joke just as we were finishing. You know what? I take it back. That wasn¡¯t a stupid joke. Sexually explicit? Maybe. Sexist? Not any more than the was the norm in biblical times. But it definitely wasn¡¯t a stupid joke, quite the opposite actually.¡±

    ¡°Go on then.¡± She motioned for him to regale her with his tales witty and sophisticated. Sam did just that, omitting to mention what he was really thinking about when he inquired into the body¡¯s role as a possible magic storage. Sure, Sarah could probably read between the lines even better than Dan could, but that was no reason to say it outright. No one needed to hear him bitch and moan about the same old fear every time his brain latched on to it.

    ¡°How do you even know that story?¡± she asked him once the retelling was complete.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I mean, I never heard of it. So it¡¯s not one of those biblical stories that everyone knows about, right? Like David and Goliath, for example. But you don¡¯t seem like the kind of person to be more intimately familiar with the bible than most people.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I don¡¯t think that the story of Samson is that deep a cut. Sure, my maternal grandmother was Jewish, but that heritage didn¡¯t confer me with any theological knowledge. Honestly, I think it¡¯s just one of those things that everyone knows about from birth, a priori synthetic. Like how Rome was the capital city of the empire or how all Parisians are forced by the municipal government to act like assholes to tourists. It¡¯s like, you mentioned David, right? Everyone knows about him hardcore cucking that dude. Sending him to die in a war after he saw his wife bathing, on the roof¡­ Hm¡­ Yeah, I take it back, that¡¯s not it. It¡¯s the song. I just realized that it¡¯s the song. That Judaism loving Leonard Cohen and the seventy hours he spent writing one single song. That¡¯s where I know the story from.¡±

    ¡°Good thing you remembered then. Going to add it to the playlist?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ the cover version. Only old people prefer the original.¡±

    ¡°Poor Leonard.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t think about it like that. Think of it as me helping me bring him even closer to religion in death. I mean, what¡¯s more Jewish than having your original piece of writing serve as the basis of a more popular version?¡±

    ¡°Whatever you say¡­ In any case, I¡¯m sure Dan doesn¡¯t think any less of you because you made a stupid joke.¡±

    ¡°No one was suggesting otherwise. And the joke ain¡¯t stupid.¡± Sarah opted not to contest the point any further and the rest of the meal passed quickly while they exchanged amicable small talk (the amicable mood even survived Sarah¡¯s admission that she also hadn¡¯t read Lord of the Rings). ¡°So anything I should be doing with all this free time I have laid down before me?¡± Sam asked her once they left the mess hall.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. I¡¯m not your teacher. I¡¯m just your fitness instructor. And since you¡¯re not planning to work out anymore today¡­ Of course, if you don¡¯t have anything better to do, you can choose to accompany me even if you¡¯re not going to work out. I won¡¯t say no to your company and I can still show you how to do the exercises that I¡¯m planning for us to do tomorrow, saving us some time.¡±

    ¡°Sure, as long as I don¡¯t have to do anything, I¡¯m game.¡± Sam motioned her to lead on. ¡°Are you going to work out tomorrow as well, then?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± Sarah thumped on her chest. ¡°Physical exercise twice a day; once cardio and once strength training, every day except Saturday. Usually I do cardio in the evening, but I switched them for today because I wanted you to join me.

    ¡°Jesus Christ, that is insane. There¡¯s no way I can keep up that sort of regimen.¡±

    ¡°Obviously not. You also don¡¯t need to at this point. Once a day, six days a week, will be enough for you until you can get some of the important patterns going.¡±

    ¡°Great, so I¡¯m only working myself halfway through the bone and not all the way. At least until I get to level 1. Which patterns are the helpful ones, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Restorative ones are the most important, of course, at least until we get to higher levels. They help with muscle growth and repair, making the exercise less strenuous, that sort of thing. The problem is they need to be constantly active in order to have an effect. So you can¡¯t just ask Maurice or Dan to brute trace the pattern for you.¡±

    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

    ¡°Any can¡¯t they just regular trace for me? Dan said that it¡¯s like sending the body¡¯s natural healing into overdrive.¡±

    ¡°Tracing into the body is the most common tracing, but it¡¯s not regular tracing. And no, they can¡¯t do that. It¡¯s unhealthy to have someone else¡¯s magic coursing through your body on a regular basis.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Wait, finish the part about the patterns before I forgot.¡±

    ¡°Ah, fear not. I¡¯ll do them at the same time. Because the reason for that has to do with the second type of patterns that I have for working out. So remember how I said that steroid are less useful because magic is also used to build our body? Well, that¡¯s an understatement. The body of a high level is going to be way stronger than what their frame might suggest, because it¡¯s been nourished with magic. Basically, every time we destroy muscle, it¡¯s then rebuilt stronger with magic. The same thankfully goes for our bones, tendons, etcetera, but to a lesser extent since we don¡¯t constantly rebuild them. That¡¯s what the patterns are there to help with. Sure, they also help with the muscles enrichment, but as long as you workout regularly, the muscles are going to be pretty full most days. The patterns¡¯ main job is to help the rest of our body, the parts we can¡¯t easily work on, draw more magic than they naturally do. Did you get all that, or was I being too confusing?

    ¡°No, I think I got it. Sounded like pretty basic body reinforcement; magic makes your body stronger and what not. But is the amount of improvement based on level or on time?¡±

    ¡°Technically both. Higher levels have better patterns available to them that help increase the amount of magic your body can use to improve itself. Making things up, but just for example: let¡¯s say something like five times the nourishment for a level 7 pattern when compared to how much the level 1 pattern does in one day.¡±

    ¡°So if I saw a level zero like myself, at the same age but with an even shittier musculature, if such a thing were possible, who would kick whose ass?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know? You probably? But you don¡¯t need to worry about that at all. The reason why working out and being in shape is so important is not because it will allow our base strength to be like Superman¡¯s, but that patterns can only amplify our base strength. But patterns are still the real game changer. For example, if you were level 10 with the same body as you have now, and went against a forty-year-old level 10 bodybuilder who didn¡¯t use patterns, you would wipe the floor with them. In other words: Let¡¯s say that at most, that bodybuilder would be twice as strong as he would¡¯ve been before the Integration, without magic. That¡¯s a lot, sure, but not that much in the grand scale of things. So yeah, if were hulked out and went against a puny sub level 1, you would kick their ass.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Sam said, twirling his fingers in an impression that hopefully hasn¡¯t been lost to time. ¡°Let my reign of terror begin. Now I just need to find a way to fix steroids, and I¡¯m good to go.¡±

    ¡°Getting there all by yourself is completely out of the question?¡±

    ¡°I should say so. Look, I like physical exercise just as much as the other guy, if the other guy also doesn¡¯t get much endorphins from the act. But even if I did like it more, it doesn¡¯t mean much when I¡¯m dealing with freaks like you who can work out twelve times a week. At the end of the day, I¡¯m just a regular guy with a regular mindset who needs his regular podcasts in order to muster the will to train. And it just so happens that all of my podcasts are now a limited resource. They can¡¯t just make a Conan O¡¯Brien in a lab, I¡¯ll have you know. You need to find a disfigured and inbred Irish redhead, whose external ugliness is just the tip of the iceberg. Then, you have to thrust him into a strict catholic upbringing coupled with growing up in the heydays of the cold war on the outskirts of the city with the most ridiculed American accent. And even after all that, you¡¯re not guaranteed anything. You need to pray that he¡¯ll manage to suppress his natural inclinations long enough in order to breakout into show business. It¡¯s all very¡ªHow did we get on this topic?¡±

    Sarah shook her head. ¡°Good question. We started on the which patterns I have for working out, but from there¡­ It¡¯s all you.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s obvious. To work out, I need podcasts. And up to now, my rate of working out never ran the danger of me running out of the only podcast I listened to while working out. But it¡¯s fine. I¡¯ll manage. Somehow. Six days a week, right?

    ¡°That would be my advice. I guess that it¡¯s alright if you take it easy for the first couple of weeks, while you get into shape. But only those few weeks. Pretty much all students here work out at least that amount. Besides, once you¡¯re able to, you could use the time you exercise to gather as well. Killing three birds with one stone.¡±

    ¡°Three?¡±

    ¡°One and two are for doing two things at the same time. And the third is because gathering while exercising is the least boring way to cultivate. You¡¯ll see. Much better than just sitting around doing nothing.¡±

    ¡°Maybe so.¡± Sam held up a finger to cut her off. ¡°But you¡¯re trying to convince me to the great utility of exercise will have to work until after such time until I can actually gather.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°No buts! There will be no buts. I will hear no more of any topic on which I do know nothing about unless the person who brings up said topic wished to elucidate me on its contents. From now on, we will only talk about stuff that we both know or stuff that only I know.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t seem very fair.¡±

    ¡°It might appear that way at first glance. But the difference is that, when asked, I am perfectly willing to embark upon long-winded explanations of what ever stupid reference I had just made. So unless you wish to explain to me how cultivation actually works, I advise you to pivot to a more common conversation topic.¡± Sarah opened her mouth as if to speak. Sam narrowed his eyes at her. After a tense moment, Sarah admitted defeat. Or so it seemed.

    ¡°If you really want,¡± she said, ¡°I can try and explain gathering to you.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Nah. That¡¯s alright, thanks. I¡¯ll wait until I can actually do it like the good patient little boy I am.¡± Sarah looked him up and down. ¡°Alright, enough with that. You better be scrutinizing whether I am, in fact little. I will have no one doubt me being of a sound moral character¡ª¡±

    ¡°You also don¡¯t strike me as very patient.¡±

    ¡°True enough, but it depends. If it¡¯s something that I don¡¯t want to do but still want to happen, I can be as patient as a rock.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s called procrastinating.¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s called being lazy. Now who¡¯s a procrastinating?¡± Sarah¡¯s mouth turned in the opposite direction of her raised eyebrows. ¡°Yeah¡­ OK. That wasn¡¯t a very good one, I know. Look, I¡¯ve been running around all day, and now the only thing I¡¯m running on is fumes. Do you know how much mental energy it takes to maintain this high level of being sarcastically annoying?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been taking a lot out of you, I can see that. We shouldn¡¯t expect you to be able to deliver the same comedic talents every single time.¡±

    ¡°I blame you, honestly. Most people would¡¯ve reined me back by now. Or stopped hanging out with me. But you¡¯re acting like the average millennial parent acts with their children, indulging my every whim.¡±

    ¡°Funnily enough, you happen to be right with that very general claim. There is only one millennial parent currently alive, and he really can¡¯t say to no his kids. But that¡¯s OK, they have a mother that keeps them in line.¡± She smiled.

    ¡°How realistically revolting.¡±

    ¡°Not a big fan of children, then?¡±

    ¡°I like them in theory, fulfilling their role as the next generation of humanity. But in practice? No way. I gotta go with my boy Plato on this one. Take all the kids, put them together in one place away from any adults that don¡¯t have to be there. And brainwash them until they stop being kids and turn into respectable citizens. Then, and only then, can they reintegrate into society.¡±

    ¡°No younger siblings as well, I take it?¡±

    ¡°No. And before you ask, I also don¡¯t have any younger cousins or god forbid nieces and nephews.¡±

    ¡°Figures. I was the oldest of a very big extended family and I love kids. It¡¯s different when it¡¯s your own kids or the ones of those you care about, you¡¯ll see.¡±

    ¡°That sounds like a threat. I¡¯ll have you know, right here and now, that I refuse in advance any and all requests for babysitting that you may make of me in the future. And not only for selfish reasons, but also for the good of the child. A parent letting someone like me babysit is an egregious violation of parental responsibility and provides a solid justification for taking away their custodial rights.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind,¡± she said and ushered him into the gym building that had just arrived at. ¡°The only things that should be on your mind, however, is following my routine exactly and making sure you understand how I do my sets.¡± Sam silently nodded, his aching muscles suddenly much more noticeable.

    He followed Sarah as she led him through the different facets of her workout; how every exercise should be done and especially how it shouldn¡¯t be done. It seemed funny to Sam that in a world with magic healing, people should still care about form. It made sense for sure, but it was still funny.

    His musings were cut short, just as he was about to formulate a joke on the topic, by his phone sounding from his pocket. Third message in only the single day. Sam was inching towards heights of popularity, the likes of which he¡¯s never seen.

    ¡°Hello, Sam. It is Maurice.¡± It read. ¡°I apologize for not writing to you sooner, but I have been hard pressed to find the free time in the last two days. I would like to know how you are feeling currently, both physically and mentally, and how today has been. Thank you.¡±

    ¡°Hi Maurice,¡± he wrote back. ¡°No need to apologize. Everything¡¯s fine. Sarah has been monopolizing my free time anyway, so it¡¯s not like I was starved for human connection or anything. I¡¯m feeling alright. Body pretty sore from working out both today and yesterday, but that¡¯s pretty much it. Today was good, learnt a lot of stuff, and even got my own bank account. Thanks for checking in!¡±

    ¡°So guess who just messaged me?¡± he asked Sarah.

    ¡°Maurice?¡±

    ¡°Dammit. I really need to meet some new people.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ Also, I figured that he hadn¡¯t contacted you since we last saw each other, so I wrote to him a couple of hours ago to check up on you.¡± Their conversation was interrupted by Sam¡¯s phone chiming in his hands, and while he was busy answering Maurice, Sarah went back to her set.

    ¡°That¡¯s very good to hear,¡± wrote the doctor. ¡°Make sure to remember that you can always contact me if you have any questions or need my help. It¡¯s our duty as fellow Taken to help one another. On another note, I wanted to invite you to dine with me during lunch tomorrow if you are free and willing. I would like to use the opportunity in order to conduct our discussion vis-¨¤-vis your unique return.¡±

    ¡°Can I go to eat lunch with your dad tomorrow so he could interrogate me on my worst personal trauma?¡±

    ¡°One, he¡¯s not my dad,¡± Sarah said with a heavy huff. ¡°And two, you don¡¯t need to ask for my permission. That being said, I¡¯m also coming, so of course you can.¡±

    ¡°C U There,¡± Sam first wrote out in an attempt to combat Maurice¡¯s stiff texting but changed his mind before hitting send and wrote it out normal. ¡°We on with your dad tomorrow at twelve,¡± he said.

    ¡°Do take note that I am holding a very large weight and that your body is oh very frail.¡± Sam held up his hands in surrender. The rest of the evening passed even faster than before, and Sam returned to his musical project while between bouts of conversation with Sarah.

    ¡°Oh, I also wanted to ask you if it¡¯s OK that we¡¯ll meet up with two of my friends tomorrow morning and we¡¯ll work out together?¡± Sarah asked him once they were making their way back to their dorms. She tried to make it sound nonchalant, but Sam was getting pretty good at reading her. Enough to be able to function as a normal human being at least, which is all that you had to be in order to hear the obvious nervousness in her voice and the anxiety in her eyes.

    ¡°Saraaaaah¡­I didn¡¯t know you had any friends besides me. Look who¡¯s a grown girl, nay a woman, all of a sudden.¡± He got a pinpoint accuracy sweaty towel hit in his face in response. Sam coughed. ¡°That counts as use of chemical weaponry, I¡¯ll have you know. And while Geneva and the Hague might not be around anymore, their legacies live ever on in the norms they set in international law¡ª¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m being serious. I¡¯d like you to meet them as well, but if you¡¯re feeling uncomfortable, I can cancel.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Of course it¡¯s alright. Why? They¡¯re not kids, are they?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re both nineteen. I just wanted to make sure. In my first days here, I was super stressed every time I had to meet someone new. Especially if they were my age. I kept worrying that they¡¯ll act differently than me and that because of that, they won¡¯t want to be friends with me.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and that¡¯s the difference between you and me. While you were twelve years of age, I am ten years your senior in body and seventy in spirit. And while you were afraid that people wouldn¡¯t want to be friends with you, I am secure in being certain that they won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Good. So meet me downstairs at seven sharp tomorrow morning and we¡¯ll go meet up with them.¡±

    ¡°My dear lady,¡± Sam adopted his British gentleman persona: Mr. Millsbutnotracist. ¡°I don¡¯t wake up before eight o¡¯clock unless it¡¯s the weekend. In which case, I wake up at nine-thirty.¡± This time Sarah took mercy on him and he managed to block the towel before it met with his face. Laughing, he bid Sarah goodnight and, with the absence of any non leisurely way to spend the rest of the night, opted for an early bedtime.

 Chapter 31

    For the second day in a row, Sam woke up not feeling as bad as he thought he ought to have been. It wasn¡¯t just the quality of the sleep and lack of difficulty falling asleep. No, those were already more than three days old and already well on their way to becoming the norm, as far as his lack of appreciation for the good things in life was concerned. It was the fact that his body was in a pretty good state despite his horrid treatment of it. Not feeling bad didn¡¯t stop him from groaning as he got up to silence the alarm, though. Even the best night¡¯s sleep in the world won¡¯t make you want to get out of bed.

    The completion of his much diminished morning hygiene duties still left him with plenty of time until his appointment with Sarah. Which was just as well because it forced him to acquiesce to his newly evolved habit of meditating twice a day (three times actually, if you counted yesterday¡¯s body-scan meditation, which Sam would only do when that¡¯d fit into his agenda). Two minutes to seven found him waiting outside Sarah¡¯s building for her, staring grumpily into the copy-paste sky of yesterday morning.

    ¡°Still angry at the sky?¡± Sarah asked him with a smile once she came down.

    ¡°I think I¡¯m developing a quixotic obsession. But I can¡¯t say for sure cause I haven¡¯t actually read the book. You don¡¯t think I¡¯m crazy right?¡± he asked her while making googly eyes.

    ¡°Not any more than usual,¡± she assured him with a clap on his back. ¡°C¡¯mon, let¡¯s get going.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam exclaimed as he began following her. ¡°I¡¯m not the one that was only one minute early.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say you were.¡±

    Sam considered her words. ¡°Huh, I guess you¡¯re right. Must¡¯ve been my persecution complex or something along those lines. What¡¯s it called when you always think people are always critical of you?¡± Sarah shook her head to indicate her boorish nature and obviously lacking knowledge. ¡°So anything I should know about these mysterious friends of yours? Their likes, dislikes, what they¡¯re looking for in a comic relief character?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll introduce you when you guys meet. What¡¯s the big hurry?¡±

    ¡°Fine, have it your way. Let¡¯s just find something else to talk about in order to pass the walk more pleasantly.¡±

    ¡°Or¡­ we can simply walk in silence, enjoying the scenery and better appreciating our morning.¡± Surprisingly, Sam didn¡¯t have it in him to respond to Sarah¡¯s suggestion with the dismissiveness and mockery it deserved. Nor did he embark upon an imitation of Donkey from Shrek, although that did pain him a little. Instead, he took Sarah¡¯s words to heart, and half a minute later, when his mind grew restless, he abandoned the mindfulness for a bit of inward contemplation.

    His thoughts mostly centered around Web-Web¡¯s lack of appearance yesterday evening, and thus Sam still being unsure about his future as a spearfighter. But that flame of anxiety quickly petered out once he arrived at his same conclusion from yesterday. Unlike with sex; only no meant no. So until he heard that ¡°no¡± from his AI neighbor, telling him that he was going in the wrong direction, Sam would keep going like a frat boy with the very drunk girl he picked up.

    He closed his eyes and vigorously shook his head, prompting Sarah to ask him, ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±

    ¡°Nothing. Just thought about a very disturbing analogy.¡±

    ¡°OK.¡± Sarah laughed. ¡°I guess that if I ever want to hurt you, I just need to keep you silent for a couple of minutes.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you wish. It¡¯s not being silent that I have a problem with, although empirical evidence of for that conclusion may be lacking. It¡¯s me being alone with my thoughts that¡¯s the real enemy. I tell you, five more minutes and you would have had me bawling on the ground like a little kid when he gets the wrong toy with his happy meal.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s lucky for the both of us that we avoided that particular scene then. Even better, you can rejoice, for we have finally made it.¡± She spread her hands wide, gesturing towards the same gym they had just vacated less than twelve hours ago.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that this is the closest gym to our dorms¡­¡± Sam made the accusation in his voice evident.

    ¡°It¡¯s halfway there for the both of them and us. We always meet here when we work out, so I¡¯ve gotten into the habit of going here anyway.¡±

    ¡°They better be worth the five extra minutes we had to walk to get here.¡± Sarah laughed as she opened the door. Once inside, she quickly turned towards two people who were standing alone near the entrance and started walking towards them. The both of them were wearing exercise clothes and clearly recognized Sarah, so Sam made the educated guess that they must be some of her fans.

    ¡°Sam,¡± she said once the two duos met, ¡°these are the people that forced you to walk all the way here. Felix Polaris and Yvessa Smith. You guys, this is Sam Anders. Remember that you promised me to be nice.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t recall making any such promises,¡± Sam said, making sure to ruin his already low chances for a good first impression. His plan appeared to have failed, unfortunately, because Felix laughed and presented his hand for Sam to shake.

    ¡°Pleasure to meet you, Sam,¡± he said. ¡°Sarah told us a lot about you already. And she had us promise to be nice to you no matter what you said today.¡± Sam shook his hand, not tempted in the slightest to see how far he could go in testing their courtesy. Yvessa spoke up next, and Sam was thrown off completely when he realized he had no idea what she was saying.

    ¡°Yvessa¡­¡± Sarah said with exasperation. ¡°I told you that Sam doesn¡¯t have a translator yet. You need to speak English or he won¡¯t understand anything you¡¯re saying.¡±

    Yvessa grimaced but still capitulated to Sarah¡¯s demands because Sam easily understood her next words (although it should be said that the accent proved a little challenging). ¡°Fine,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°My bad. It¡¯s nice to meet you, Sam. What I was saying before is that Sarah shouldn¡¯t be coddling you so much.¡±

    ¡°I disagree,¡± Sam said. ¡°In my view, I¡¯m not being coddled enough.¡± Next to him, Sarah sighed. ¡°So are you guys the Twins or what?¡±

    Felix gave a short laugh and Yvessa squinted her eyes at him. ¡°Who told you that nickname?¡± she demanded, before switching to stare accusingly at Sarah.

    ¡°I swear I didn¡¯t,¡± Sarah said.

    Which only caused Sam to point at her and say, ¡°Sarah did. OK, OK.¡± Sam laughed once Sarah¡¯s eyes turned on him with a frown. ¡°She really didn¡¯t. It was Dan Ritter. He said something about being in charge of special cases, or problem students, as I already decided to term us. He told me that besides me, he also helped students like Sarah or ¡®the Twins.¡¯ And using simple logic, I deduced that you might be said duo, what with Sarah obviously not having many friends. Ow!¡± He rubbed his arm where Sarah pinched him. ¡°Also, Dan mentioned Felix by name. Amazing that I managed to remember it really¡­ So, I¡¯m guessing that you are the famous siblings.¡±

    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    ¡°We¡¯re not really twins,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°This is still your fault.¡± Yvessa was glaring at Sarah.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell him about you guys,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°What do you mean, you aren¡¯t twins?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°We aren¡¯t related to each other at all.¡± Yvessa¡¯s exasperated tone signified that this wasn¡¯t the first bout of explaining she had to give. ¡°But someone.¡± She gestured towards Sarah. ¡°Thought that it would be funny to call as twins simply because we were born on the same day. We weren¡¯t even born in the same world!¡± Felix nodded along helplessly.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t intend for it to spiral out of control. If anyone is to blame, it¡¯s Dan,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°If you hadn¡¯t come up with that stupid nickname, then he wouldn¡¯t have been able to propagate it,¡± Yvessa said. Sam was appreciative of her ability to keep speaking in English despite her state of mind.

    Sam clapped Sarah on her shoulders. ¡°Damn, making up a derogatory nickname for someone. Didn¡¯t know you had it in you, Ms. Khan. Makes me like you even more.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not helping Sam¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t trying to.¡±

    ¡°And it¡¯s not derogatory. In the first place, the only reason why the nickname spread as it did wasn¡¯t because you were born on the same day, but because you¡¯re both incredibly talented and people are jealous of you.¡±

    ¡°Envious,¡± Sam and Felix corrected her at the same time. From the looks Sarah gave them, she didn¡¯t appreciate the correction. Or maybe she is simply unaware of the difference between the two due to not having the Simpsons explain it to her.

    ¡°Nevertheless,¡± Sarah said, ¡°I once again apologize for coming up with that name.¡±

    ¡°That asshole, Dan¡­¡± Yvessa changed the target of her anger. ¡°He still keeps using it. As if we weren¡¯t stuck together all the time already before that.¡±

    ¡°Oh no, guys¡­¡± Sam said, ¡°you can¡¯t be together. Incest is wrong.¡± When no one seemed to appreciate the joke, he decided to double down. ¡°Look, I just don¡¯t get what¡¯s so bad about the nickname. It¡¯s only going to make for a good joke in the case you guys ever end up as a couple, if you aren¡¯t already one. Think of the roleplay applications!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gay,¡± Felix intoned.

    ¡°That stupid Dan!¡± Sam pivoted.

    ¡°Can we all just take a breath and leave this topic behind us?¡± Sarah once again acted the grownup. ¡°Sam, just make sure not to call Yvessa and Felix the¡ªby that nickname.¡±

    ¡°Will do.¡± Sam nodded.

    ¡°I actually don¡¯t really mind it,¡± Felix confessed, only to be set upon by Yvessa¡¯s dagger-like eyes. ¡°But clearly I am wrong.¡±

    Yvessa gathered herself and seemed to regain her calm demeanor, with which she had acted before Sam¡¯s faux pas. Turing to Sam, she did an honest to god curtsy, and said, ¡°I apologize for that outburst of mine Sam, when we only just met. But that stupid nickname is one of the things for which I have truly no patience.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s alright. Wouldn¡¯t have brought it up if I knew how you felt about it. What did you mean, though, by saying that you¡¯re now stuck together if you guys aren¡¯t actually a couple? If you don¡¯t mind me asking, that is.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Yvessa waved her hand, and Felix nodded in agreement. ¡°Like Sarah said, both Felix and I are incredibly talented, especially for Terrans. Are you alright?¡± she asked once she saw Sam¡¯s contorted face.

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s just that I¡¯m not used to people being so sure of themselves like that. No offense intended.¡±

    Yvessa burrowed her brows in confusion. ¡°But surely, as a Thread-Weaver, you yourself should be counted much more talented than Fenix and I. Or even Sarah.¡±

    ¡°What Yvessa meant,¡± Sarah said, ¡°is that both she and Felix have empirically shown themselves to be worth special attention paid to them by the academy. Same way you have by being a Thread-Weaver. As such, they have been a grouped together rather frequently, but at the same time, apart from the rest of their peers.¡±

    ¡°OK, now, I get that.¡± Sam nodded. ¡°They¡¯re very special when compared to most of us puny Terrans and due to that, they¡¯re a little bit ostracized, not necessarily on purpose even. And because they are the same age, and everyone¡¯s paying them so much attention, they¡¯re often grouped together as a unit. This trend has only intensified once you made up that awful awful nickname for the both of them. Is that it, or did I miss anything?¡±

    ¡°You got it,¡± Sarah said through gritted teeth.

    ¡°Yeah, so what I didn¡¯t get is your,¡± Sam turned to Yvessa, ¡°equating of me and you. Cause I sure as fuck didn¡¯t do anything to make me special while I¡¯m assuming that you did. I mean the whole Thread-Weaver business? That¡¯s pure brute luck baby, I didn¡¯t do anything to deserve it.¡±

    ¡°Even so,¡± Felix said, ¡°from the perspective of the academy or the Terran military. You are much more valuable than any one of us currently is. Unless you prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you¡¯re completely incompetent, you are still guaranteed to become a Ruler in the future.¡±

    ¡°Calm down Felix,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°It¡¯s not like the three of us aren¡¯t guaranteed to become Rulers in the future. It might take us time after we hit level 10, but there isn¡¯t any reason we won¡¯t be able to do it.¡±

    ¡°How can you be sure of that? What if we end up like Dan, stuck at level 10 forever?¡±

    Yvessa rolled her eyes at him. ¡°I¡¯ve told you a hundred times already. Dan told you a hundred times already. Dan¡¯s problem is unique to him. We don¡¯t need to worry about not becoming Rulers if we can reach level 10.¡±

    ¡°Besides,¡± Sarah said, ¡°don¡¯t you think that you might be taking out your insecurities on someone who doesn¡¯t deserve it at all?¡± She pointed towards Sam, but he didn¡¯t see anyone behind him. Weird.

    Felix deflated all of a sudden and gave Sam an apologetic look. ¡°Sorry about that, mate. Didn¡¯t mean anything by it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. You are worried about the future. I can understand that sort of anxiety pretty well.¡±

    ¡°Nah, it¡¯s not just that. I mean, it is that, but Yvessa¡¯s right, worrying about not being able to become a Ruler in a couple of years is pretty stupid. But it¡¯s also just me being an asshole. I can get very competitive, and I was feeling that you looking down on yourself is almost like you looking down on me, because at the end of the day, you are currently a more valuable asset than anyone else at the academy.¡±

    ¡°Did you just straight up admit one of your character flaws?¡± Sam asked.

    Felix rubbed the back of his neck. ¡°Yeah, I guess. I mean, it¡¯s not like it¡¯s a secret or anything. Everyone who knows me for more than a couple of hours notices that about me. Ever since I was six years old and didn¡¯t want to talk with my cousin anymore cause she beat me at a video game.¡±

    ¡°Still, that¡¯s not something you¡¯re supposed to do, you know? That¡¯s called bad character presentation. You can¡¯t just blurt out your characteristics like it¡¯s a TV tropes page. You got to let the viewer make their own conclusion. ¡®Show, don¡¯t tell,¡¯ is the popular mantra.¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it make more sense for me to tell you about myself if we are going to be friends?¡±

    ¡°Maybe so. But it¡¯s just not very realistic to straight up admit one of your flaws to a guy you¡¯ve just met.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve done nothing but that since we met,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°That¡¯s different.¡±

    ¡°How so?¡±

    ¡°I make it funny.¡±

    ¡°I can make it funny as well,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°No you can¡¯t,¡± Sam told him. ¡°There¡¯s only enough space for one funny guy in this group dynamic.¡±

    ¡°So the position¡¯s empty, then?¡± Felix smirked.

    But before Sam could retort, Sarah asked with a smile, ¡°How much space is there for a funny woman?¡±

    ¡°Ha ha,¡± Sam said. ¡°That a great joke, well done. You know very well that women don¡¯t have a sense of humor.¡± She looked pleased with herself for successfully goading him.

    Felix clapped his hands together. ¡°I think we¡¯ve spent enough time dawdling here already. Let¡¯s go, shall we?¡± He didn¡¯t wait for their response and started making his way deeper into the building. Yvessa seemed content to follow him, and Sam heard her mumble something in her alien tongue.

    ¡°I think that went well.¡± Sam turned to Sarah, who just gave him an encouraging smile in response. ¡°Did you happen to hear what Yvessa said just now? Was it about me? Was it something bad?¡±

    ¡°Very bad.¡±

    ¡°I knew it. She doesn¡¯t like. This is your fault, you know. This is what happens when I act like myself.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Relax, she just complained about how long we¡¯ve been standing there talking. You¡¯re making a great first impression. Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    ¡°Gee¡­ thanks mom! I can¡¯t wait to tell grandpa about this at lunch!¡± He lunged ahead but still wasn¡¯t able to avoid Sarah¡¯s wrathful palm.

 Chapter 32

    Once they made their way to the gym proper, Sarah took charge of the exercise routine for the whole group. Felix and Yvessa seemed content to follow her lead and Sam couldn¡¯t have complained even if he wanted to, since just following Sarah¡¯s warm-up instructions proved almost too much for him. What annoyed him most was that she was taking it easy on him since, after she told him he can take a break, she still had another set of warm-ups in store for Felix, Yvessa and herself.

    The rest of the session passed very much in that fashion. Sarah tasked Sam with doing a certain set and after being satisfied that he was performing it correctly, she left to do her own training while Sam finished his. Felix and Yvessa were also taking their part in tormenting Sam. Each of them dropped in every couple of minutes to check up on him and see how he was doing. It usually involved them telling him that he was doing something wrong.

    ¡°Straighten your back,¡± Felix told him for the second time in a minute.

    ¡°Any more straight than these and you won¡¯t be able to court me anymore,¡± Sam said between gritted teeth.

    ¡°His back is fine, leave him be.¡± Yvessa angelic voice sounded from behind him. ¡°It¡¯s his knees that are overextending.¡±

    Finally, Sam finished his tenth repetition and laid down the weight while staring balefully at the two first-years. ¡°You two are enjoying this way too much.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to help you, mate,¡± Felix pleaded his innocence.

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°I concur. You are already so far behind even the worst performing first-year students. There is no way you¡¯ll catch up to them by graduation time if we didn¡¯t help you. You are sorely in need of it.¡±

    ¡°Jokes on you, cause it¡¯s not a done deal at all that I¡¯ll be attending graduation at the same time as you two. It¡¯s the year after yours that I should be aiming for if we take Mr. Ritter¡¯s optimistic view.¡±

    ¡°Fuck that, mate.¡± Felix clapped him on the back. ¡°We¡¯ll get you ready for graduation on time. You just need to trust us. Me and Yvessa here, we¡¯re going to be like your Gull and Temussa.¡± Sam stared at him blankly. ¡°Oh, right. You haven¡¯t started elven history. Well, we¡¯ll help you there as well. I mean, Yvessa already knows more that what¡¯s being taught here on account of her upbringing and whatnot.¡±

    Yvessa looked unimpressed with Felix¡¯s description of how she acquired her knowledge. ¡°I grew up on Maynil,¡± she said once she saw Sam¡¯s questioning look. Which only caused that look to deepen. ¡°It¡¯s the Sarechi Kingdom¡¯s¡ªthe elves¡¯¡ªhomeworld. My mother was, is, Terran ambassador to the elven court, so I lived most of my life in Larsus¡ª¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the what the capital is called,¡± Felix whispered to him.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± Sam nodded to him. ¡°Ain¡¯t no way I would¡¯ve figured it otherwise.¡± Felix gave him a thumbs up. ¡°So you had an elven education?¡± Sam asked Yvessa with interest. It just dawned on him that this might be his first interaction with some that grew in a completely alien environment to the one Sam knew of. Because while he already saw a bunch of elves while he was walking around campus¡ªhell, there was even one in the gym with them right now¡ªhe hadn¡¯t spoken to any of them yet.

    ¡°I received a noble¡¯s education, which is much better than what most elven children are given. Don¡¯t get me wrong, Sarechal is not like an old medieval kingdom where everyone who isn¡¯t a noble is an oppressed serf. But compared to the Terran Republic, there is a definite difference in the quality of education between the rich and powerful and the more average citizens.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a being a little generous to the republic.¡± Felix sounded bitter. ¡°It¡¯s not like the poor elves are suffering or anything. Their average schools are better than our average.¡±

    ¡°Only when it comes to magic,¡± Yvessa countered him.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you the one that¡¯s always going on and on about how great elven culture is?¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t mean that¡ª¡± Yvessa started to say but was stopped by Sarah coming up from behind.

    ¡°Alright, break¡¯s over,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Stop wasting Sam¡¯s time. Don¡¯t forget that you¡¯re supposed to be helping him train, not helping him rest.¡±

    ¡°But Moooom¡­¡± Sam was petulant. ¡°We were just in the middle of getting some backstory.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s funny that you¡¯ve mentioned the back cause it¡¯s time for you to work yours.¡± And she sent him on his way to the nearest bench. She kept a closer eye on him after that, apparently not trusting Felix and Yvessa to act as cruel and malignant as she could. With the she-demon eying the clock every time he rested between sets, it came as no surprise that he was finished with his own workout much earlier than the other three. It had absolutely nothing to do with Sarah going easy on him; not having him do the same number of sets that she was doing herself.

    ¡°Alright,¡± Sarah said, ¡°let my just finish my workout and we¡¯ll do stretches. And good job. If you can keep going like this, then I¡¯ll have you in shape in no time.¡±

    ¡°How long will that be? Cause I¡¯m hoping to be adopted sometime next week.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not leaving my care until I say you¡¯re ready.¡± She gave him a wide smile. Next to him, Felix barked a laugh.

    ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡± Yvessa asked as she approached them.

    ¡°He was either laughing at my being emasculated,¡± Sam said. ¡°Or¡­ he was laughing because he finds the concept of a not blood related family structure outrageous.¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t it be both?¡± Felix asked. Yvessa just shook her head and looked at Sarah expectantly.

    ¡°I was just congratulating Sam on a job well done,¡± Sarah said. ¡°And I told him that if he keeps going like that, then he¡¯ll be combat fit in no time.¡±

    ¡°That is funny.¡± Yvessa nodded. ¡°There¡¯s no way he¡¯s going to get in shape with how easy you were going on him.¡±

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t the joke at all,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°And I wasn¡¯t going easy on him,¡± Sarah said. ¡°He¡¯s not like you or Felix. He has a brand new body. Until two days ago, he literally never worked out before.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t forget to mention about how I also didn¡¯t have any legs.¡± Sam nudged her.

    ¡°What?¡± Felix asked with a laugh and Yvessa in shock. ¡°You didn¡¯t have legs before?¡± she continued.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t tell them?¡± Sam asked Sarah.

    ¡°Obviously I didn¡¯t. Why would I? That¡¯s something private to you!¡±

    ¡°Wait. You really didn¡¯t have legs before being taken?¡± Felix asked.

    Sam ignored him. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say that you told them about me?¡± he asked Sarah.

    ¡°Yeah, about your personality and what happened to you since you got here. I wasn¡¯t going to mention something like that without your permission.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sam said in embarrassment. ¡°Thanks, I guess. But it¡¯s not something private that I don¡¯t want people to know about. Especially since I do have legs now.¡±

    ¡°So you didn¡¯t before?¡± Felix asked, his face was slowly creeping closer to Sam¡¯s.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like I never had any,¡± Sam said. ¡°I just lost them in a traffic accident a couple of months ago¡­ give or take a hundred years. And now I have brand new legs!¡± He slapped his precious fleshy thighs.

    ¡°Wow¡­ Man, sorry about that, I didn¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯ve been having problems getting used to having legs again?¡± Yvessa asked Sam in a low voice.

    ¡°Not really. Literally none, now that I think about it. Why?¡±

    ¡°You gave it as a reason for why I should be going easy on you,¡± Sarah said. Yvessa nodded along and seemed annoyed at having felt bad for Sam.

    ¡°What, I can¡¯t mention having lost my legs in a traffic accident in an attempt to score sympathy points anymore?! What is this world coming to? I¡¯ll have you know, back in my days, you weren¡¯t allowed to make fun of someone that wasn¡¯t in shape, even if there wasn¡¯t any reason besides laziness for them being a fat ass. That¡¯s what my therapist told me, at least. He called it self-harming behavior.¡±

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°No one was making fun of you,¡± Sarah placated him.

    ¡°I was going to, but then Yvessa derailed the conversation,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Never mind that!¡± Sarah snapped at them before Yvessa could offer a retort. ¡°But while I got you both here, I wanted to ask you for your help with helping Sam.¡±

    ¡°What are you, a single mother?¡± Sam said before he realized the fact that he has been repeating that one joke the entire day.

    ¡°Of course we¡¯ll help, won¡¯t me?¡± Yvessa said while looking at Felix. ¡°It¡¯d be idiotic not to help train someone who is certain to become a Ruler once he reaches level 10. Right?¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°Yeah, we¡¯ll help. That¡¯s what friends are for. We are friends, right?¡± he asked Sam.

    ¡°I don¡¯t commit to any platonic relationship until I¡¯ve tested the potential candidate taste in pop-culture.¡± Sam avoided answering. ¡°But also, Sarah is basically my only friend, so I¡¯ll pretty much just to whatever she tells me to do. So if she says we¡¯re friends, then we¡¯re friends. But beware, if one day your relations turns sour and she¡¯ll sic me upon you, then whatever bonds of friendship we may have had before will not prevent me from causing you harm.¡±

    ¡°See,¡± Felix said, ¡°we¡¯re already making jokes.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not a high bar,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Sam has joked with every person he met since coming here.¡±

    ¡°That can¡¯t be true,¡± Sam said. ¡°Surely not everyone.¡± Sarah raised her brow at him. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like that. The burden of proof falls on the prosecution. That being said, you¡¯re probably right. I¡¯m a nervous joker. And it just so happens that I¡¯m almost always nervous.¡±

    ¡°If he gets on your nerves, just tell him to pipe down. He¡¯s like a small dog that way,¡± Sarah spoke as though Sam wasn¡¯t there. ¡°I mainly wanted you guys to work out together, since I won¡¯t always be available to accompany him. But if you guys want to help him with some actual schoolwork, then I¡¯m sure Dan wouldn¡¯t mind the extra hands.¡±

    Felix raised both thumbs up. ¡°I¡¯ve already volunteered Yvessa to be his elven history teacher.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s very generous of you, Yvessa, thank you.¡± Sarah didn¡¯t waste the opportunity to fully reel in her friend.

    Yvessa sighed. ¡°I guess that I can help him catch up on what we¡¯ve learned last trimester, but there¡¯s still the current one and the next one. Besides, would he even be able to skip those courses? Even I had to do the oral exam.¡±

    ¡°I very much doubt that Dan cares for maintaining academic integrity and equality when it comes to Sam,¡± Sarah said. ¡°But we¡¯ll have to ask him. Maybe they¡¯ll just give him his very own exam to test him on the material. It¡¯s not like there are guidelines to follow, telling the academy how to handle adult Taken.¡±

    ¡°Or any Taken for that matter,¡± Felix muttered under his breath.

    ¡°You¡¯re still going on about that?¡±

    ¡°About what?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°They wanted Sarah to learn the full course list for sculpting,¡± Felix said before Sarah could deflect. ¡°Which, if you don¡¯t know what it means, is total bullshit cause she doesn¡¯t need to do it.¡±

    ¡°Just because I¡¯m a Taken doesn¡¯t mean that I definitely won¡¯t need to sculpt in the future,¡± Sarah said. ¡°So there is a concrete reason for me to learn sculpting.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but all the courses?¡± Yvessa entered the debate. ¡°I can see just teaching you the first one, but even that is overkill. If it were up to me, I¡¯d just teach you the very basics, three or four weeks max. And if it turns out that it wasn¡¯t enough in the future, there will be plenty of high levels around who could personally teach you what you need to know.¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°They probably just forgot to take the fact that you¡¯re Taken into account and signed you up for the all the mandatory subjects. Same thing with Yvessa and elven history, just that in her case Dan didn¡¯t decide to step in and tell the academy not to be idiots, and for some reason neither did she.¡±

    Yvessa looked at Felix with annoyance. ¡°It wasn¡¯t worth the fuss. This way I just need to spend ten minutes of my time every trimester taking the exam and that¡¯s it. Unlike you, I¡¯m not well loved by the wider Terran populace. Everything I do or don¡¯t do is judged by everyone else.¡±

    ¡°So did you end up learning sculpting?¡± Sam asked Sarah before the wonder twins could get into a heated argument.

    ¡°No¡­¡± she admitted. ¡°Dan pretty much forbade me from it. He just gave me basic lessons and told me that if I had a problem with it in the future that he will come and help me himself.¡±

    ¡°Which was the obviously smart thing to do,¡± Felix said. ¡°Or are you also going to be signing up Sam to sculpting lessons?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s different! Sam is already far behind everyone else in his year. He can¡¯t afford to waste his time when he has so much catching up to do.¡± She¡¯s right, you know, Sam rebuked himself for the fact that he was currently resting because Sarah told him he can take a break. Stop that. He slapped his hand. If you keep thinking like that, you¡¯re going to drive yourself crazy. Just gotta trust that Web-Web will tell me when I¡¯m taking it too easy and not worry about it until then.

    Felix laughed. ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound very convincing coming from you. I forgot; just how many electives are you currently taking?¡± Yvessa voiced her agreement.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you too start with me about that.¡± Sarah massaged her forehead and checked her watch. ¡°Dammit. You¡¯ve been keeping me here way longer that I should have. And unless you guys already finished with your exercises for the day like Sam did, hop on to it.¡± She spun on her heel and made her way towards one of the machines furthest from where they were. Yvessa and Felix exchanged glances before they both went back to completing their sets.

    Deciding that he didn¡¯t have anything better to do, Sam opted to keep them company as they worked out. ¡°So¡­¡± he began once they were both taking a break. ¡°You¡¯re also in the ¡®Sarah is spreading herself too thin¡¯ camp? I just heard about that from Dan yesterday, but with all the other information I had to process, I still didn¡¯t have time to cross-examine her on the subject. Let alone to start ribbing her.¡±

    ¡°Why would you want to do that?¡± Yvessa asked him with a frown.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure I follow.¡±

    ¡°Why would you make fun of her for something like that? She¡¯s your friend.¡±

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean anything bad by it. Just some like humor between friends. You want to tell me you¡¯ve never made fun of her for that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t make fun of my friends for their decisions in life.¡±

    ¡°That can¡¯t be true.¡± Sam turned to Felix.

    ¡°Well¡­ No. It¡¯s just that she spent most of her life unable to make fun of her friends, so that might¡¯ve been true in the past. But she¡¯ll come after you and me with no qualms.¡±

    ¡°I resent that assumption,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Which one?¡±

    ¡°Both.¡±

    ¡°Wait, so do you guys agree with Dan¡¯s assessment?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Damn right,¡± Felix said. Just as Yvessa said, ¡°It¡¯s not our place to pass judgment.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m hearing one yes and one ¡®yes, but I don¡¯t want to speak ill of my friend,¡¯¡± Sam said. ¡°That¡¯s good to know. The picture¡¯s not looking good for Ms. Khan.¡±

    Felix finished his set and sat up, drying the sweat on his forehead with a towel. It was the first time that Sam saw any of the three showing signs of perspiration during the entire workout. ¡°Of course, I agree with Yvessa that it¡¯s Sarah¡¯s choice and all. But at the end of the day, she¡¯s obviously gonna have to make some sacrifices. I mean, she only made it to level 3 a couple of weeks ago, for Christ¡¯s sake. It took her the same amount of time as an above average Terran, that needs to sculpt every day, takes. If it was anyone else in her place, I would have said that they¡¯re lazy, but since it¡¯s Sarah, I know that she just has too much on her plate to be able to optimize her free time for cultivating.¡±

    ¡°So have you two tried convincing Sarah to drop some of her course load like Dan is? Or are you just commentating from the sidelines?¡±

    ¡°I have tried talking with her about it,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°But after she made it clear she isn¡¯t going to change her mind, I decided to avoid mentioning it.¡± She threw a sideway glance at Felix, clearly intending to chide him for doing just that.

    Felix cleared his throat. ¡°For me, it seems that she¡¯s clearly set in her ways. So there isn¡¯t much we can do besides annoy her by continuing to question her decisions.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam raised an eyebrow. ¡°Cause I¡¯m pretty sure that you were doing just that no more than a couple of minutes ago?¡±

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t judging her decisions, but rather her hypocrisy,¡± Felix answered with a beaming smile.

    ¡°Fair enough. So if I am to take up the mantle in operation ¡®UnBilbofying Sarah,¡¯ I take it that I should count you two out?¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what that means,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°But if you¡¯re going to try to get Sarah to drop some of her classes, then I can only wish you luck. Even though you are pretty much the person least qualified to lecture anyone on their training.¡±

    ¡°Some times it is the fool that sees most clearly among the king¡¯s court,¡± Sam said, showing wisdom much beyond his years. Judging by the fact the both of them went back to their training, it appeared they were unable to appreciate his sagacity. They stayed off the topic of Sarah¡¯s life choices as they continued their sporadic discussion. No other topics of import were brought forth, the conversation mainly circling around the two¡¯s half a year in the academy. Before too long, they too finished their training and all three of them were left waiting on Sarah, who claimed to have been delayed in finishing by the actions of persons other than herself.

    While Yvessa and Felix relegated themselves to the showers, Sam sat down next to Sarah and counted for her as she pushed the barbell up and down. She didn¡¯t ask for his help, but he had nothing better to occupy his brain than simply goggling at her display of strength. He couldn¡¯t see exactly how much weight she was struggling with and was satisfied to stay in ignorance. His own muscles were still aching in horrible agony from the punishment he doled on them three straight days in a row. True, he wasn¡¯t feeling quite as bad as he probably would have been with his previous, less evolutionary primed body, but he still felt like shit. Of course, his mental mood was not impervious to the negative effect of his physical state. He also felt like shit in his own mind, which was full of self judgment aimed at the fact that his own workout didn¡¯t last as long as the others.

    Before he could slip too deeply into melancholy, Sarah finished her last exercise and, after returning everything to its rightful place, called Sam over to lead him through some stretching. ¡°How come we have magic but still need to stretch?¡± Sam asked her, in his whiniest, most annoying voice. He only had to heighten his natural pitch by a little bit.

    ¡°Do you want the science behind the reasoning, or do you just want to complain?¡± she asked him, her head almost touching the ground as she bent to touch her left foot.

    Not able to showcase his nimbleness anywhere close to what Sarah was doing, Sam just murmured in disgruntlement and focused on counting the seconds until he could let go. Once they were done, Sarah clapped him on his back and congratulated him on a job well done.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Sam responded, ¡°but I really think you should save the commendation until such time as I am able to this for a month straight.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon,¡± she said with a smile, ¡°have some belief in yourself. You¡¯ll be in shape in no time. I guarantee it.¡±

    Sam just nodded his head, biting his tongue to prevent the already half-formed self-deprecating remark from flowing out of his mouth. ¡°So what¡¯s next on the itinerary?¡± he asked her.

    ¡°How abut we both go get cleaned and then see from there,¡± she answered him and then proceeded to guide him towards the showers. One quick shower later. To contrast with Felix¡¯s long one, seeing as they both began getting dressed at pretty much the same time. And their entire four member party was gathered just where they were a workout¡¯s time ago. ¡°So breakfast?¡± Sarah asked, and since Sam was still unemancipated, it only took Yvessa¡¯s and Felix¡¯s affirmation for their next destination to be decided.

 Chapter 33

    As the four of them made their way to the nearest mess hall, a picture of what his near future held for him started forming in Sam¡¯s head. Same thing day in and day out. With the only difference being whether he ate before or after working out.

    No chance in hell he¡¯ll make it.

    Noticing his state of mind, he took a deep breath with the hope of calming himself and set his sights on analyzing the reasons behind his current anxious mood.

    The first cause seemed obvious: the feeling of being up in the air was still nagging at him, making him wish that Dan could finish his weekly schedule that he¡¯s been promising since two days ago. If only he had that outside influence telling him what to do and how to do it¡ªlike Web-Web was supposed to do when they promised to tell him if he ever strayed from the right path¡ªSam could let himself relax. Content in the knowledge that he was following another¡¯s plan for him, a person much better suited than Sam himself for guiding Sam¡¯s future. But as long as there wasn¡¯t a training plan for Sam and it was left up to Sam¡¯s discretion what to do with his time, he felt torn between two extremes.

    The second cause for anxiety was even more obvious than the first one. Also, it was pretty much just another framing of the first one, but why worry about the one thing once when you can worry about it twice? His discomfort stemmed from the two-sided internal turmoil that was raging in his mind. The weaker side, both literally and figuratively, was content to accept Yvessa¡¯s judgment of him (which was more like Sam¡¯s critical view of himself, superimposed upon Yvessa¡¯s offhand comments) as being accurate. He was weak-willed, quick to give up and even faster to want to take a break. An afternoon doing nothing after the hectic last couple of days was just what the doctor called for as far as this side of Sam was concerned. The other side of him, the one that rose to prominence and established control over his thoughts ever since his first conversation with Web-Web, was ill at ease with the prospect of taking it easy. It saw what the other students of the academy were doing and as long as Sam wasn¡¯t trying hard as they did; it wasn¡¯t willing to consider taking it easy.

    Speaking of the other students, for the first time since coming here, Sam began actively looking around at the other people who will be his company for the upcoming years. There were a lot of them. Sam knew that much already. But seeing and knowing are two different things.

    According to what Sarah told him, all permanent students at the academy were humans, Terrans, to be more politically correct, and that provided an ample explanation for the lack of pointy ears among the passing crowd. Evidently any elf he did see in passing, such as the one who had exercised next to them, were exchange students or faculty members¡ªteachers and instructors that were sent to help the still young Terran magical education system.

    Sam was happy to notice that there wasn¡¯t much commonality between the different students that he saw, although, come to think of it, they were all walking on two legs, which was something that he should still not be taking for granted. Besides that, the students at the academy seemed to represent the microcosm of humanity pretty well. Of course, he didn¡¯t know enough about the current New Terran demographic statistics to be certain that there wasn¡¯t any racial or cultural discrimination going on, but at least gender wise there didn¡¯t seem to be any.

    Does make me wonder whether there is a pattern to stop the menstrual cycle, though. How come I didn¡¯t think about that up till now? Just goes to show the flaws inherent in the system. If I was a girl, that would have probably been the first thing that I wanted to know about. He made a mental note to ask Sarah about that once there weren¡¯t any people within earshot who might get think less of him for not asking that question all this time.

    One thing he wasn¡¯t happy to notice, however, were the looks the four of them were drawing from the other students. That was two days in a row that the people he was with were drawing a lot of attention to him. Hopefully, none of their fame would rub off on him.

    ¡°So you guys really are famous then?¡± he finally asked Felix and Yvessa when he couldn¡¯t hold back his curiosity anymore.

    ¡°Not any more than Sarah. Why?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Well, people keep looking at us and they didn¡¯t yesterday or two days ago when it was just me and Sarah, so something must be different.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s just you, mate, they¡¯re looking at you.¡± Felix clapped him on the back. ¡°Me and Yvessa already had our fair share of gawkers and so did Sarah, although much more than us, according to her. Now it¡¯s your turn, an hour in the limelight compared to our fifteen minutes.¡±

    ¡°Very funny.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s serious Sam,¡± Sarah said. ¡°I guess news must have spread about you being both a Taken and a Thread-Weaver, because it¡¯s all over campus already.¡± She held up her phone to show him one of the group chats she was on. ¡°I just noticed it after we finished showering, but seeing as there are already pictures of you going around with yesterday¡¯s clothes, people must have already figured it out then.¡±

    ¡°Figured it out?¡± Sam was panicking. ¡°What do you mean, figure it out? How? Why? When? There were only like five people that knew about me, not counting these two.¡± He pointed at Felix and Yvessa.

    ¡°Except all the other people that knew about you. The school¡¯s administration, the military, TerrSec, and so on. It¡¯s not like it¡¯s a secret or anything. Did you really think that you¡¯ll be able to just stay under the radar?¡±

    Sam opened his mouth to speak but for once in his life, not knowing what to say actually ended with him not saying anything. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to calm his nerves. He was suddenly feeling every stranger¡¯s eye upon him like it was a searchlight from a sixties prison break movie. The other three were looking at him with worry, although Yvessa could afford to appear a little more sympathetic. Finally he said, ¡°No, I guess I didn¡¯t think that I¡¯ll stay anonymous forever. Just didn¡¯t realize that I¡¯ll be famous enough for people to take pictures of me.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Felix barked a laugh. ¡°Can you imagine it?¡± He put a hand up to his ear to mimic a phone call. ¡°¡®Hey mom! Guess who I saw today, the one of a kind Thread-Weaver Taken. Best chances in to world to become a Ruler. Can you believe it? Oh, that¡¯s great junior, did you take a picture? No. I didn¡¯t think that it was that big a deal.¡¯ Not famous enough, my ass.¡±

    ¡°You know,¡± Sam said, ¡°that would have worked a lot better if you had the mom character actually have a different voice than her son. And while we¡¯re on that subject, you could also afford to give the son his own voice and not just use your own.¡±

    ¡°Everyone¡¯s a critic.¡±

    ¡°In all seriousness,¡± Sarah said, ¡°are you OK, Sam?¡±

    Sam took a deep breath and released it after a second. ¡°Yeah, I guess so. Just wasn¡¯t mentally prepared for it, that¡¯s all.¡± He could still feel the lingering looks being thrown around at him, but now, instead of floodlights, they felt more like camera flashes. It would still take him a long time to fully adjust to his newly gained fame. Hopefully, people would get tired of him pretty soon, and he¡¯ll never have to. But if not, he could always take comfort in the fact that he was already beginning to feel better than he did two minutes ago, when the shock of realization was ringing in his mind.

    ¡°If that¡¯s what it takes to rattle you, then you are in serious trouble,¡± Yvessa told him with narrowed eyes. ¡°How will you compose yourself once you¡¯re close to realizing your potential and actually deserve the fame you¡¯ve gained? There isn¡¯t a Ruler in the Web that doesn¡¯t have to walk in front of a crowd. And we Terrans have the biggest crowds.¡±

    Sam gulped. Funnily enough, stage fright wasn¡¯t one of his many symptoms of social anxiety. But there was a difference between getting up to do a presentation before a class of thirty people and the thought of hundreds and thousands of people knowing who he was and wanting to see him. He bit down on his inner lips to stop himself from going further down that road of worry. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll just handle it like I do everything else that I don¡¯t like; make jokes about it until I run out of material or I get used to it.¡±

    ¡°Is making jokes all you can do?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°No. I can also criticize the jokes of others. I¡¯m multitalented like that.¡± Sam gave her a beaming smile. By then they had already reached the mess hall, where it seemed the other students were more interested in eating their fill than having their fill of gossip. Even better, the four of them managed to snag themselves a lone table.

    ¡°So what are your plans for the rest of the day?¡± Felix, who was sitting next to Yvessa, asked the two sitting opposite him.

    ¡°I was actually hoping you could help me with that,¡± Sarah said, gesturing to both Yvessa and Felix.

    ¡°How come?¡±

    ¡°I was hoping that I could leave Sam in your very capable hands until lunch. You only have elven history until then, right? That doesn¡¯t have compulsory attendance, and like you said, Yvessa doesn¡¯t really need to be there anyway.¡±

    ¡°Oh good.¡± Felix wiped his brow exaggeratedly. ¡°So it¡¯s Yvessa you want, not me.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t mind,¡± said Yvessa. ¡°But are you sure you can stomach leaving him for more than a couple of minutes?¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Now hold on just a moment. Don¡¯t nobody just go foisting me on other people like I¡¯m some kind of crack baby. I am perfectly capable of managing myself until it¡¯s time for lunch with grandpa.¡± He pronounced the last word with his most baby like voice.

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you rather make good use of that time by having Yvessa teach you about elven history?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°If that¡¯s alright with her, of course.¡±

    ¡°I can do that.¡± Yvessa nodded.

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam asked, pleasantly surprised.

    ¡°Of course. I am more than capable of teaching you the basics taught by the teachers here.¡±

    Felix nudged her shoulder. ¡°I don¡¯t think that was the part that he was doubting, mate.¡± Yvessa gave him a puzzled look in response that Sam wasn¡¯t quite sure if it was fake or not.

    ¡°So that¡¯s it?¡± Sam wondered aloud. ¡°I¡¯m thrown from one teenage mother to the next?¡±

    Sarah elbowed him in the ribs. ¡°Quit the bellyaching. You¡¯re the one who keeps complaining that I¡¯m always around you.¡±

    ¡°And your solution is to hand me to the care of an even younger woman than you? Wait. That didn¡¯t come out like I wanted. Nowhere as sexist enough, can I have a redo?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sarah said. ¡°So you¡¯ll do it?¡± she asked Yvessa, who nodded in affirmation.

    ¡°Ooh!¡± Felix exclaimed. ¡°I¡¯m coming as well. Wouldn¡¯t want to miss it for the world.¡±

    ¡°You were not requested, nor are you necessary.¡± Yvessa waved him off.

    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

    ¡°C¡¯mon¡­ You want me there, don¡¯t you Sam?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t involve me in your domestic squabble.¡± Sam refused to engage. ¡°I¡¯m still reeling from being abandoned by one mother. I¡¯m not going to risk antagonizing my new one.¡±

    ¡°Not doing a very good job, then.¡± Felix pointed to Yvessa¡¯s newly formed frown. ¡°Which just goes to show how much you need me there for your protection.¡±

    ¡°What, you think I¡¯m going to hurt him?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Who¡¯s to say that the elves don¡¯t employ corporal punishment in their teaching methods?¡±

    ¡°I do. They don¡¯t. Besides, if there¡¯s anyone in danger of receiving physical violence here, it¡¯s you.¡±

    ¡°Ah ha! So you admit to wanting to hurt us. Now you see why I need to be there for Sam. He¡¯s still too weak to protect himself.¡±

    ¡°From your stupidity, maybe.¡±

    Sam leaned to whisper to Sarah. ¡°They always like this?¡± he asked, hoping to god that the answer was positive.

    ¡°I think they¡¯re trying extra hard today in order to impress you,¡± she whispered back to him with a smile.

    ¡°What are you two laughing about?¡± Felix noticed their hushed dialogue.

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t get it,¡± Sam told him. ¡°It¡¯s a twenty-first century joke. You had to be there. So.¡± He turned to Sarah. ¡°Care to tell the group just what it is that you¡¯re hoping to do in the next two hours that you¡¯re abandoning me for?¡±

    ¡°Nothing special. Just combat practice. I¡¯ve already missed a lot of it during the last couple of weeks.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Sam adopted a pensive squint. ¡°Maybe you should consider focusing on just one or two weapons and not the gazillion that you¡¯re training with.¡±

    Sarah frowned at him. ¡°So now I¡¯m also going to get crap from you?¡±

    ¡°Is there anything I¡¯ve given you that wasn¡¯t crap?¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Got me there. Then you two are OK with teaching him history for the next two hours?¡±

    ¡°Leave it to us.¡± Felix placed his hand on Yvessa¡¯s shoulder. She shook it off.

    ¡°Great!¡± Sarah said while getting up, having made finishing her meal a higher priority than anyone else at the table. ¡°So I¡¯ll leave him in your care.¡± And she ran off. Presumably to escape Sam¡¯s righteous, although not independently constructed, advice.

    ¡°So what do you have at lunch? Something with a grandpa?¡± Felix asked Sam once Sarah left.

    ¡°Lunch with Maurice. He wants to talk about some of the discrepancies between me and other Taken.¡±

    ¡°Like you not having a core at first?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Yeah. You know about that?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Sarah told us that you keep making jokes about your head exploding because of that.¡±

    ¡°I want to be very clear on this point. The bit with missing core isn¡¯t the reason for my, you say jokes, but I say very realistic fears. It¡¯s Maurice wanting to check up on me after I awaken. How can I prove that? Simple. I knew about the core from my first day here. I knew about Maurice¡¯s ¡®protocol¡¯ from the second. The joke only began its existence on that second day¡­ Anyway, yeah, he wants to talk about all of that stuff. Things he didn¡¯t get to ask me during our initial meeting. Also, to make sure that I¡¯m ¡®alright¡¯ and what not, but I¡¯m pretty sure that¡¯s Sarah talking through him.¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± Felix said. ¡°Can we come as well?¡±

    ¡°Why are you asking for me?¡± Yvessa rebuked him.

    ¡°C¡¯mon¡­ don¡¯t tell me that you don¡¯t want to hear about Taken. That¡¯s literately the stuff of legends. Plus, we¡¯re already going to be with Sam before lunch, so why not eat it with him as well?¡±

    ¡°I get that. But why won¡¯t you get that lumping us together like that just reinforces that stupid joke about us being twins?¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°You know, if it wasn¡¯t for all this rampant sexual attraction between the two of you, you¡¯d make the perfect old barren married couple.¡±

    ¡°Sexual attraction?¡± Felix asked with a faked shudder.

    ¡°Rampant.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re not coming to lunch with Sarah and Maurice?¡± Felix turned back to Yvessa.

    ¡°Of course I¡¯m going. I would simply ask of you to refrain from automatically including me in your plans in the future.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯d have preferred it if I asked Sam if I can come and didn¡¯t mention you?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely. I could have just as easily signaled my desire to attend the meeting after he had given you his assent. What if I had already made plans to eat lunch in the company of someone else?¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Like who? We don¡¯t have any other friends besides Sam and Sarah.¡± Holy shit. I¡¯ve made it to friendship status so fast! These guys are way too accepting of my bullshit.

    Yvessa sighed. ¡°Didn¡¯t I just ask you not to speak of me and you as one single unit? Besides, I have other friends.¡±

    ¡°So do I. Just not here in the academy.¡±

    ¡°Well, maybe we both could get some new friends if people stopped treating us like ¡®the twins¡­¡¯¡±

    ¡°You mean I could get some new friends. I don¡¯t see you being friendly with any one of our classmates.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m more than friendly with those that deserve it!¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s just me, I guess? Sarah¡¯s not in our year, so she doesn¡¯t count. Neither is Sam, technically. C¡¯mon Yvessa, they¡¯re not all assholes. Most of them aren¡¯t, in fact. They just don¡¯t like that you keep bringing up the elves this and the Royal Academy that. Makes them, hell, makes me as well, feel inferior. Now, I know that¡¯s not what you mean¡ª¡±

    ¡°Of course, that¡¯s not what I mean! I only bring this up because I know that we can do better! I¡¯m also a Terran, just like you guys. There¡¯s a reason why I¡¯m here and not back at the Royal Academy in Larsus. But just because I didn¡¯t grow up in the republic, I have to walk like on eggshells in order not to make any xenophobic assholes feel bad?¡±

    ¡°Guys, Guys!¡± Sam burst in before Yvessa¡¯s state of mind would further deteriorate and he would no longer be able to understand what she¡¯s saying. ¡°Now clearly you both have a lot of grievances against each other and against the academy and the elves and your classmates and everything else that kids your age want to rage about¡­¡± He took a deep breath, now that the focus of both of them was upon him. ¡°But just remember, no matter how much you may be angry you may feel. I¡¯m still five days old and I don¡¯t like to see my parents fighting!¡± He further pushed the message by pumping both of his fists up and down. ¡°Now, we can continue this discussion in a calm and friendly manner, in which the both of you can give and receive each other¡¯s point of view. Or¡­ and this would be my choice, we can take everything that was said and done here in the last couple of minutes, bottle it deep down inside of us, and go back to the original plan which was to focus solely on Sam and his education.¡±

    With the thread of their argument cut short, but Felix and Yvessa were forced to take a step back and calm themselves down. As far as they were concerned, that was probably good enough; back to business. But not Sam. He found himself situated on the precipice of a bit, and he wasn¡¯t going to let it go. ¡°Good.¡± He rapped his fingers on the table. ¡°So who wants to go first?¡±

    Felix raised a brow. ¡°Go first with what?¡±

    ¡°Why, with apologizing, of course. You gotta clear the air so we can all go back to being happy friends.¡±

    Yvessa scoffed. ¡°Really? An apology? Do we also have to kiss and make up? Promise to never argue again?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that sounds pretty stupid,¡± Felix said. ¡°Besides, it¡¯s not like we were mad at each other. It wasn¡¯t even an argument. And we wouldn¡¯t even need to talk about this if Yvessa just did what I told her to do yest¡ª¡±

    ¡°Maybe we also wouldn¡¯t need to talk about this if you just dropped it like, I, told you do to yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Guys, guys!¡± Sam stopped them before things could flare up once again. ¡°You got me all wrong. I don¡¯t care about your feelings. It¡¯s not each other who you should be apologizing to, but to yours truly. I mean, I am a guest! And yet you¡¯ve embroiled me straight into your marital dispute as though I was the ill-wanted spawn of two teenaged parents. So let¡¯s have at it, both together at the same time: ¡®We¡¯re sorry Sam. We shouldn¡¯t have argued right before you. And no matter what happens in the future, we just want you to know that both of us love you. Even if we¡¯re not part of the same family anymore, you will always be our baby.¡¯ That¡¯s the gist of it, at least. Feel free to put your on spin on things.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Yvessa asked, her face contorted in confusion. Felix just held his face in his hand while chuckling.

    ¡°You heard me! An apology. Sarah left me in your care and barely a minute after she left, you totally forgot about my existence. Why¡­ just wait until I tell her what happened. She¡¯ll never let you babysit me ever again.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s joking, right?¡± Yvessa asked Felix, which prompted Sam to make his angry baby face; lips pushed outwards, eyebrows pulled down, and eyes rolled halfway up.

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know,¡± Felix glanced at Sam. ¡°He must be on some level, but I don¡¯t know just how much.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t hear any apologies¡­¡± Sam said. ¡°I¡¯m this close to making a scene. And believe me. I¡¯ve had twenty-one years of experience at making scenes to embarrass my parents. You don¡¯t want to test me.¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± Yvessa huffed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry OK?! I¡¯m¡­ We¡¯re sorry for involving you in our fight.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Felix echoed her, ¡°apologies. Didn¡¯t mean to argue like that in front of you.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Very good, apology accepted. Now, if you would just apologize to each other, we can put all of this behind us.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°We didn¡¯t even argue with each other. I certainly don¡¯t feel like Yvessa owes me an apology.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t mind an apology, but I don¡¯t really need it,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°And you just said that you didn¡¯t care about our own feelings and whether or not we apologize to each other.¡±

    ¡°I lied.¡± Sam said. ¡°Adults do that sometime, we lie. Get used to it kiddos.¡±

    ¡°What? How are you suddenly the adult in this scenario? You¡ª¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Felix said with a chuckle, holding Yvessa by the shoulder. ¡°Yvessa, I¡¯m sorry. Really really really sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to hurt you in any shape or form. You know that I love you and that you¡¯re my favorite person in the whole world right?¡±

    Yvessa turned to Sam with a shake of the head. ¡°I¡¯m not returning that apology.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon,¡± Felix said, ¡°you want Sam to act out again?¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ I¡¯m sorry Felix. That¡¯s all you¡¯re getting from me.¡±

    ¡°Great.¡± Sam clapped his hands. ¡°See how easy that was? And don¡¯t you too feel a hell of a lot better after apologizing to each other, but more importantly, to me?¡± That earned him a frown from both of them. ¡°Now, now. Don¡¯t you go looking at me like that. You both did the right thing despite initial apprehension, and that¡¯s what matters. I promise to not mention to Sarah you acting your own age.¡± He held his hand to his heart.

    ¡°Acting our own age?¡± Yvessa asked with a snort. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you, of all people, feel embarrassed talking like that?¡±

    ¡°Drop it, Yvessa,¡± said Felix. ¡°We were getting riled up, and he did manage to calm us down in the end, no?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but still¡­ I mean.¡± She gestured towards Sam. Sam looked behind him and after turning back, he pointed an asking finger at himself. ¡°Never mind¡­¡±

    ¡°What you have to remember.¡± Sam twirled his index finger. ¡°Is that up until now, at least in my interaction with you two, I have been in total control of my emotions, believe it or not. If I¡¯m acting a certain way, it¡¯s only because I¡¯ve chosen to act like that. It doesn¡¯t mean, of course, that you can¡¯t criticize me for the way I behave, far from it. But just keep in mind that despite the way I may present myself, I am still significantly older and more mature than you. And although I¡¯m sure you had a much more challenging and meaningful upbringing than I did, what with the threat of evil invasion ever looming. I still suffered through two major traumatic events in short order, which has allowed me to have such fine control of my behavior. My point is: you shouldn¡¯t feel bad for acting your age. You¡¯re still little babies, as far as I¡¯m concerned.¡±

    ¡°Babies?¡± Yvessa huffed. ¡°You¡¯re only three years older than us.¡±

    ¡°A hundred and three years technically,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°At least.¡± Sam nodded. Yvessa rolled her eyes but didn¡¯t try the push the point any further. ¡°So are we all calm then? Back to being friends once again? Oh, I should ask you though, Yvessa, I already marked Felix down as publicly admitting to being my friend, but how about you? Should I put a cross on it? Or are we not there yet? Or at all? Never? Be honest with me, you actually really hate me, don¡¯t you? But remember, be honest. But not too honest if the truth will hurt me.¡±

    Yvessa¡¯s sigh and following chuckle gave Sam mixed signals. ¡°You can mark me down as being your friend as well. What sort of idiot would I be if I failed to ingratiate myself to someone who is very likely to become a Ruler in the future?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Sam drawled. ¡°Did you take into account the fact that I am incredibly annoying and factor that against the future benefits of being in my good graces? Because I¡¯ll have you know, most people in my life still chose against my friendship despite its overwhelming future benefits.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Felix asked with half a smile. ¡°You were in the same position you are now before being taken?¡±

    ¡°Are you asking whether I was seen as going to be someone incredibly important in the future or whether I was also friendless in the past, forced to search for the recluses and exiles in every social structure I found myself in?¡±

    ¡°I was just wondering about the first part before, but now you¡¯ve intrigued me, so it¡¯s both.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s quite simple, really. Somewhere during my highschool years, perhaps even before, I got it into my head that one day in the future I¡¯m going be the ruler of the entire world. And please, remind me sometime to give you the whole tangent on how much of a stupid name that title is. Anyway, you¡¯d expect a rational risk-averse teenager to realize that however infinitesimal the chances of me being the person in charge of all mankind in the future might be, they¡¯ll still choose to be my friends on the off chance that I do end up making it that high. But, the reality of my meager highschool friend group shows at that they must¡¯ve found my personality too unbearable and thus the costs of being my friends in the then-present outweighed the benefits of being my friends in the then-future.¡±

    ¡°Why the hell did you think you were going to be the ruler of Earth?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Who said I thought that?¡±

    ¡°You did. You said that you got it into your head one day.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ Fair enough. But what I meant is that one day I just started saying that as a joke because I thought it was funny. No way in hell did I mean it seriously. I mean, can you imagine? Being in charge of an entire world? That¡¯s like really hard. Way more than a forty-hour work week, which in itself is already quite a lot, in my opinion.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Felix said. ¡°So the problem wasn¡¯t you becoming the ruler of old Earth but you not wanting the job¡­ Because obviously if you wanted it you were going to get it right?¡±

    Sam threw up his hands in the air. ¡°We¡¯ll never know now, will we?¡±

    ¡°I guess not.¡± Felix laughed while Yvessa was rubbing her forehead in frustration.

    ¡°I¡¯m really starting to regret agreeing to help Sarah,¡± she said in a low voice.

 Chapter 34

    ¡°So now that I¡¯ve expertly defused your anger at your environment and successfully redirected the conversation back to me,¡± Sam said, his voice becoming serious for a change. ¡°Do you want to talk about the cause for that anger, something that happened yesterday if I would so bold as to guess? Or leave it for next time you have couple¡¯s counseling?¡±

    ¡°I think,¡± Yvessa said while getting up, ¡°that we¡¯ve dawdled here enough time already. And that whatever you guys want to talk about, we can do that while en route to the library.¡±

    ¡°Why the library?¡± Sam asked as he and Felix followed her example of getting up.

    ¡°You want to study, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°On the grand scale of things, yeah, I guess. But why do we have to do it at the library?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with the library?¡± Felix laughed.

    ¡°Nothing¡¯s wrong.¡± Sam was prevented from articulating the falseness of that statement by the fact that his hands were holding the tray. ¡°It¡¯s just that I don¡¯t like studying in a library. I think it¡¯s overrated and that it¡¯s never as quite as beneficial as just staying at home and learning at your desk.¡±

    ¡°Then I guess we¡¯re heading for your room then,¡± Yvessa said, as they deposited their food trays back.

    ¡°Why my room? You living off campus or something?¡±

    ¡°No. But I¡¯m not inviting the two of you to my room and Felix¡¯s room is a mess. Besides, you don¡¯t get to argue, it¡¯s either at your room or the library, so pick whichever you dislike less.¡±

    ¡°I actually don¡¯t really mind congregating on at my room. I was just being contrarian for the sake of it. It¡¯s good to know, though, that you¡¯ve seen each other¡¯s rooms. Really not helping your case that you aren¡¯t a couple.¡±

    ¡°First, having seen someone else¡¯s dorm room has got to be the lowest bar ever for considering two people to be a couple. And second, he had never actually seen my room. Because we have nothing to look for in each other¡¯s room. If we want to study, we go to a library. We were going to meet at his once to study when we didn¡¯t want to go to the library because it was raining. We ended up getting wet anyway because I wasn¡¯t going to spend any more time than I had too in that pig¡¯s sty.¡±

    ¡°Yeah I bet you were getting w¡ª¡± Yvessa¡¯s elbow found good purchase amongst his ribs. ¡°Not going to defend your room¡¯s cleanliness,¡± Sam asked Felix, wheezing.

    ¡°No.¡± He shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s usually pretty messy.¡± Yvessa barked a sarcastic laugh.

    ¡°So back to what I was saying,¡± Sam said as they left the mess hall and started making their way towards his dorm building. ¡°You guys want to talk about what got you all riled up? Put everything out in the open with me as a neutral mediator? Or would you rather just leave it behind? Save it for when you go to therapy ten years down the road or something.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to talk about,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°I lost control of my emotions a little bit, and I let out my frustrations because of that. I shouldn¡¯t have done that, end of story. If it turns out that I do want to talk about this, I have my mandatory session with the psychologist in a couple of weeks anyway. I¡¯ll be sure to mention it to her then.¡±

    ¡°You guys have mandatory therapy sessions?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Felix said. ¡°Once a month for the first year and then once every trimester for the other two. Not counting the interviews we had to go through before being admitted to the academy and that we¡¯ll have to do after we finish.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ.¡± Sam sighed in admiration. ¡°And what if they decided at the ending interviews that you shouldn¡¯t be a soldier? You just have to stay home?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Supposedly, it can happen that the army won¡¯t accept someone that¡¯s finished their studies here successfully. Never heard about a case in person, but I did hear plenty of people who didn¡¯t pass the entrance exam because of the psych eval, despite being level 2 and checking all the other boxes.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Lucky I didn¡¯t have to go through them then. They would¡¯ve sent me straight back into civilian life.¡±

    ¡°No way,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You¡¯re a Thread-Weaver. Even if you were crazy, they weren¡¯t going to give up on you so quickly. What you think all Rulers are nice, well-adjusted people?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve only met one so far, and I actually think that she really liked me. So no, obviously, they¡¯re not. I get your point.¡± He paused in consideration. A thought had occurred to him, ¡°So am I going to have to go to therapy as well, then?¡±

    ¡°I think this is the sort of stuff that you ought to ask Dan about,¡± Felix said. ¡°Why, are you afraid of shrinks digging inside your head?¡±

    ¡°No, just feeling sorry for them. Guess that it doesn¡¯t actually matter whether I have to go, cause I do want to. I already asked Maurice about getting therapy and he told me that I had better wait until my mind stops treating magic like a drug. So until then, I¡¯ve had to make do with dumping all of my woes on the new friends I¡¯ve made.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound very mentally sound,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Still better than keeping it all inside, letting it simmer in the juices of resentment and anger.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to imply something?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I was trying to redirect the discussion back to what we had talked about before. And I don¡¯t want to toot my own horn, but I think that I did a pretty good job of it.¡±

    ¡°Masterful,¡± Yvessa dryly remarked. But kept her head straight and seemed intent on avoiding spilling the beans.

    ¡°C¡¯mon Yvessa,¡± Felix told her, nudging her shoulder. ¡°If you not going to tell him what happened, that¡¯s tantamount to admitting that it bothers you.¡±

    ¡°Of course it bothers me! I¡¯m just not bothered by it.¡±

    ¡°You do realize that doesn¡¯t make any sense right?¡±

    ¡°What doesn¡¯t make any sense is why we¡¯re still talking about this.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± Sam said while pointing to his dorm. ¡°We can¡¯t be talking about this now. First, we get situated, I finish all of my hostly duties. And only after that can we go back to talking about this.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not going to do any such thing,¡± Yvessa said as she followed behind him up the stairs. ¡°I¡¯m here to help you study, and that¡¯s what I¡¯m going to do. I don¡¯t know why we¡¯ve been talking about this in the first place.¡±

    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s because you¡¯re clearly still frustrated about what happened,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°So what? I¡¯m frustrated about a lot of things. No reason to waste time talking about them.¡±

    ¡°Guys! Guys!¡± Sam waved his hands between the two. ¡°We¡¯re dealing with this topic like amateurs. Here¡¯s what I propose. We go into my room,¡± he said and opened the door. ¡°I¡¯m going to prepare you two a glass of water and meanwhile you get comfy on the floor.¡± He beckoned the two of them inside and closed the door after them.

    ¡°No thanks,¡± Felix said, ¡°I¡¯m taking the bed,¡± and went on to sit at the foot of Sam¡¯s bed like some sort of uncouth animal (an image of a cat, loudly yelling in the wee hours of the morning to be let into his bedroom, only to leave after spending five minutes inside, came into Sam¡¯s head; he shook it with a sad shudder). Yvessa said nothing and simply turned Sam¡¯s not desk chair around and sat on it.

    Sam was struck dumb with disbelief. Has the world really fallen so far, so that two of his supposed new friends were already feeling so comfortable in his presence? ¡°Outrageous,¡± he muttered to himself while staring at the mirror above the sink. Which was when he remembered that glasses, or tableware in general, were not part of his and Sarah¡¯s shopping spree from two days ago. He refilled their water bottles instead.

    ¡°Made ourselves comfortable now, have we?¡± he asked while taking the last empty sit. ¡°What, the floor not good enough for youse?¡±

    ¡°There is a chair,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°I fail to see how the floor provides a more appropriate sitting arrangement.¡±

    ¡°And you?¡± Sam turned to Felix in accusation.

    ¡°The bed¡¯s more comfy than the floor?¡± Felix asked with shrugged shoulders.

    ¡°Absolutely. Which is why I spend my nights sleeping on it rather than curled up on the floor like a meth-head.¡±

    ¡°Want me to switch with you, then?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ if I ask you to move now, I¡¯ll just look like a prick. Also, I don¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± Yvessa clapped her hands. ¡°So can we start?¡±

    ¡°With what?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Because we have two items on the itinerary. We¡¯re waiting for you on both of them, but for some reason, I think that you¡¯re not keen to speak about one of them.¡±

    ¡°History.¡± Yvessa gave him a sour face.

    ¡°Screw it,¡± Felix said. ¡°If you¡¯re not going to tell him what happened, then I will. It¡¯s clear you¡¯re still angry about it.¡±

    Yvessa let out a breath. ¡°Fine, enough already.¡± She turned to face Sam. ¡°It¡¯s not that big of a deal really, despite how Felix makes it seem to be in my mind. We were in combat training yesterday, and the instructor pitted me against a group which should have meant three people but she decided that because ¡®I was lucky enough to receive superior elven instruction,¡¯ that I need to fight four against one for it to be a ¡®proper lesson.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Basically,¡± Felix said, ¡°the instructor hates Yvessa, and she wanted to humiliate her by having the best fighters in class all gang up on her.¡±

    ¡°That seems childish,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what it was,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°A child¡¯s attempt at an insult. Which is why I did not take Mila¡¯s affront to heart. I was already aware of her disdain for me, which, together with not needing her affirmation of my skills, only served to lessen the impact of the event.¡±

    ¡°Which is why you got so angry when she called the match as your loss¡­¡± Felix said.

    ¡°That¡¯s a different matter. She was clearly being negligent in her duties as a teacher. I was squarely in my place to rebuke her for outright lying. You saw just as well as anyone else there that no hit landed on me.¡±

    ¡°And yet you haven¡¯t reported the matter to anyone. If she is as bad an instructor as you claim her to be, oughtn¡¯t you have told the academy¡¯s administration something about it?¡±

    ¡°I already told you my reasons for that.¡±

    ¡°Oh, so those are still the same as yesterday? Cause they didn¡¯t make any sense back then.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not a bad teacher, per se,¡± Yvessa said, while turning to face Sam. ¡°She¡¯s just a bad teacher to me. And since I know how much the academy lacks for good teaching staff, I¡¯m not going to cost the students here a great combat instructor just because she¡¯s being a bitch to me.¡±

    ¡°Pardon me for asking,¡± Sam said, ¡°but who gives a shit about the children? So she¡¯s a good teacher, so what? I¡¯m sure the other students will manage just fine without her if she does end up receiving the boot.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, the academy doesn¡¯t lack for good instructors all that much,¡± Felix said. ¡°Everything will be just fine if Mila would get sent back to the front. Or most likely, just to another academy.¡±

    Yvessa ignored Felix¡¯s comment. ¡°That¡¯s a very selfish way to view it. I won¡¯t be held responsible for the possibility of soldiers graduating from this academy being weaker than they ought to be due to Mila¡¯s absence.¡±

    ¡°You do know that¡¯s idiotic, right?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I mean, what if she was a rapist or a murder? You¡¯d say that it¡¯s OK that she kills people because she¡¯s a really good teacher? ¡®Oh! We can¡¯t fire professor Gropey McPervert! He¡¯s got a great mind for statistics! Who cares if he slipped some of the students roofies?¡¯ That¡¯s pretty much the same line of reasoning.¡±

    ¡°She didn¡¯t rape me. She was just being a bitch. And as far as I know, I¡¯m the only one that suffers from her negative attention. Everyone else in our year loves her.¡±

    ¡°Is that true?¡± Sam asked Felix.

    ¡°Hell no. I, for one, don¡¯t love her. She¡¯s a good enough instructor, I guess, but I don¡¯t really care one way or the other about her. Or at least I didn¡¯t until it was clear she was out to get Yvessa. And I¡¯m willing to bet that most are as ambivalent towards her as I was.¡±

    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    ¡°Yvessa? Are you willing to bet the same thing? Cause it sounds like the reason you don¡¯t want to give this Mila her just dues is because you¡¯re afraid of further alienating yourself with your fellow students.¡±

    Yvessa snorted. ¡°Like I care about alienating myself. I¡¯m talking strictly about the combat readiness of the students here.¡±

    Sam turned to whisper in Felix¡¯s ears. ¡°I just met her today, which is really weird by the way cause we¡¯re already knee deep in personal discussion. So I don¡¯t feel comfortable making rapid assumptions about her, but she¡¯s totally lying, right?¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°She absolutely cares what they think about her¡ª¡±

    ¡°Maybe don¡¯t try and whisper when the person you don¡¯t want to hear you is sitting centimeters away,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± Sam said, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Shouldn¡¯t have excluded you from the conversation. Felix was just telling me you¡¯re full of it. I¡¯m inclined to agree.¡±

    ¡°How fortunate that I scheduled myself to two hours of letting Felix and Sam talk about me, then.¡±

    ¡°Now now. Don¡¯t blame Felix. He was simply responding to my line of questioning. And we are both of us talking with your best interests at heart. Let me explain. And do forgive me if this comes off as too clinical, but once my brain latches onto an example, it rarely lets it go. Did you also get the stupid digging metaphor, by the way? Nah, we were talking about something else. Sorry.

    ¡°Back to the topic at hand. We have before us: You Yvessa, who we shall call Person A in order to dehumanize you and allow us to analyze your behavior from more distance. So this Person A of ours finds themselves in a new social environment in which they are socially isolated from most of their peers. Now enter Mila, who we shall call Person B, B for bitch of course. Incidentally, you are also A for awesome. Now, Person B finds themselves well liked, or liked enough by Person A¡¯s social peers. So when one day, Person B lashes out at Person A. Person A decide not to report this to the proper authorities because they are afraid that acting against Person B, who they believe is incredibly loved by the same people who spurn Person A, will further alienate themselves from those very same people.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Yvessa asked, her face blank.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± said Felix, ¡°I kind of lost you there myself as well.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa is afraid that reporting Mila will get people to hate her even more,¡± Sam explained in layman¡¯s terms.

    ¡°Well yeah¡­ we already know that,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Oh you do?¡± Yvessa said. ¡°How fortunate that I have the both of you to tell me how I feel.¡± She sighed. ¡°Fuck it. I need to go to the bathroom. You guys better not talk about me while I¡¯m gone.¡± She got up and left behind her a surprisingly quiet room.

    ¡°Hey Yvessa,¡± Sam shouted after some minutes passed and he heard the sink running, aiming to kill two birds with one stupid joke. ¡°You better not be switching any tampons in there. I just had the maid in yesterday.¡± Felix gave him a look of utter bewilderment before facepalming.

    ¡°What the hell is wrong with you?¡± Yvessa asked a couple of seconds later, exiting the bathroom.

    ¡°So many things. But in this case, I was just trying to make you feel better by making you laugh. Apologies if the joke didn¡¯t land, I came up with it on the spot. Also, I wanted to ask whether you modern gals still have to go through period because the thought just came up to me today.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need to feel better.¡±

    ¡°So job well done after all?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Besides, why would you try and combine those two things?¡±

    ¡°Look if there¡¯s one thing that you should know about me, is that I like to save time. It¡¯s my one testament: be as efficient with your time as possible. So when there¡¯s a chance to do two things at once; make your friend feel better while also acquiring new knowledge. You bet your ass I¡¯m going to take it. In all seriousness, though, if you do need to use my toilet for that stuff, It¡¯s totally fine with me. As long as you¡¯re fine with the knowledge that I rummage through the trash can like I¡¯m the KGB and you¡¯re the paramount leader.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t miss a single chance do you¡­¡± Yvessa remarked as she was sitting down, the hint of a smile was showing at the corner of her mouth. ¡°Efficient,¡± Sam mouthed to her. ¡°Well, you don¡¯t have to worry about me using your toilet during my period. There¡¯s a pattern that you can imprint straight after reaching level 1 that does away with that stuff as long as it¡¯s active. Thank god for the Reshan because the best we managed to come up with was a level 3 pattern.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Felix said. ¡°In fact, there¡¯s a good chance that this is a major reason why, on average, women reach level 1 earlier than guys.¡±

    ¡°Good chance, according to whom?¡± Yvessa roller her eyes.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± Felix¡¯s voice pitched higher. ¡°There¡¯s got to have been some research on this topic. At the very least, I know from personal experience that my cousin reached level 1 a couple of months earlier than her twin brother.¡±

    ¡°In any case,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°to answer your question. Unless she¡¯s trying to conceive, almost all women use the pattern that prevents the menstrual cycle.¡±

    ¡°Wow.¡± Sam nodded in appreciation. ¡°Good for you. And good for those Reshan bastards for being so forward thinking. Now let¡¯s pivot back, Felix?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Will you remind us what we were talking about before Yvessa left the room in order to freshen up?¡±

    ¡°At this point, who¡¯s to say¡­¡±

    ¡°You said.¡± Yvessa turned on Sam with an accusatory tone. ¡°That the reason I¡¯m not reporting Mila, is that I¡¯m afraid my classmates will hate me for it.¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Felix said. ¡°You did say it.¡±

    ¡°You agreed, asshole,¡± Yvessa said.

    Sam turned his head to the side. ¡°So you¡¯re saying that the opinion of your fellow students has nothing to do with your decision-making vis-¨¤-vis, keeping what happened to yourself?¡±

    ¡°I already told you. The reason I didn¡¯t say anything is that I don¡¯t care enough about what happened, to risk damaging the combat capability of the rest of the class. As a matter of fact, the main reason is that I simply don¡¯t care enough. If I reported her like you two want me to, it¡¯ll become a bigger deal that it currently is and would force me to waste more of my time on the subject. The best solution is to ignore Mila and her posse¡¯s juvenile behavior. I would think that as someone that cares so much about being efficient with their time, you would understand that.¡±

    ¡°You would think that, but that¡¯s because you¡¯ve reached the wrong conclusion about my philosophy. That might be might fault though, so blame on me.¡±

    ¡°Oh? Please share with us the intricacies of your worldview.¡±

    Sam smiled. ¡°You¡¯re baiting me¡­ and I¡¯m totally going to take the bait. So here¡¯s the deal: When I said that being as efficient as possible is my most basic guiding dogma, I was speaking of time usage in a very narrow frame. Namely, the usage of time that is mandatory for you to spend, an obligation of the body to quote the often quoted Mark Twain. By that I mean, any action which serves no purpose except reaching the action¡¯s end. Commuting is the best example, but I could list you another dozen right now if you put me on the spot. So, whenever you happen to chance upon a period such as this, you should strive to maximize it so that you¡¯ll be able to return to a time of leisure as soon as possible. But, it only applies to the case in which your usage of time has no effect on any person, including yourself. In other words, the actions which we should always seek to maximize their efficiency are, funnily enough, always completely amoral.

    ¡°Such is obviously not the case with you. Even if we do take you at your word that your time, read your utility, would be better served by ignoring the Mila¡¯s actions, it still doesn¡¯t mean that the moral choice would be to ignore her. What if, say, she not only torments you but also other pupils of hers, perhaps students of less talent and background than yours who are thus much more afraid of speaking out against a popular teacher? This is, by the way, a very cliched trope in stories about highschool. I was thinking Persona 5, but that¡¯s actually not a very good comparison. Give me a few and I¡¯ll come up with a better one. Like I said, there¡¯s a lot.¡±

    ¡°Is that so?¡± Yvessa smirked. ¡°Then I apologize for how unoriginal my life is.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s alright,¡± Sam assured her. Felix laughed, but quickly hid his smile once Yvessa turned to regard him.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Felix said. ¡°But he¡¯s right, you know? It is a very high school thing to have happened. But that¡¯s just because Mila¡¯s a total idiot. The woman is thirty, for Christ¡¯s sake, and she¡¯s acting like a teenaged queen bee. A total disgrace to her position and this, fine, very fine, institution, which is why I said that we need to report her.¡±

    ¡°Except that she¡¯s only being a bitch to me and not anyone else,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Obviously, that¡¯s enough for her to not be fit as a teacher. I¡¯m not arguing about that. But since I¡¯m the only one suffering from her shortcomings and since I have no need for her instruction, I decided that as long as she doesn¡¯t cross any lines I don¡¯t care if I have to stomach her every once in a while.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sam said. ¡°You are a way better person than me. From a utilitarian perspective only, of course. Deontologically, you¡¯re being an immoral idiot. Virtue ethics as well. Those guys really really love education and want it done right. Hell, you even suck as a moral egoist. But, if we do only look at the utility of society as a whole, as long as the premise that she¡¯s only being a bad teacher to you is true, then you could be seen as doing the right thing and being the bigger person. And for that, I applaud you.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Yvessa said, but Sam was pretty sure she didn¡¯t mean it.

    Sam rubbed his hands together. ¡°OK, so that was the examination of the event. Now, who wants to start with the psychological analysis of it and its effect on the both of yours behavior? I¡¯ll give you a hint to the kind of deductive reasoning I¡¯m looking for. It has something to do with your argument not too long ago.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not doing that.¡± Yvessa rolled her eyes.

    ¡°C¡¯mon,¡± Felix said, ¡°we¡¯ve already got this far. What¡¯s a bit more brain prodding at this point? You might feel better.¡±

    ¡°How about you then?¡±

    ¡°What about me?¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t your brain deserve some prodding as well? Maybe feeling a little resentment towards me? Close association with the social pariah rubbing off on you and preventing you from getting any friends?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re making both my inability to make friends, and your ostracization from the rest of the year, a way bigger deal that they really are.¡±

    ¡°Oh really? So the only reason you rushed to challenge Afi to a duel was from a misplaced sense of justice in your heart? An urge to rescue the damsel in distress?¡±

    ¡°Hold on,¡± Sam said. ¡°Who¡¯s Afi? Is he also from the same incident or a did we move on to a different one?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not living in a TV drama, just so you know. There¡¯s only the one ¡®incident,¡¯ as you called it. Anyway, after me and Felix, Afi¡¯s considered the best fighter in our combat class, which is already made out of most of the best fighters in our year. He also happens to be Mila¡¯s star pupil since they apparently know each other from way back.¡±

    ¡°Wow nepotism. Really beginning to seem like this Mila person isn¡¯t very nice.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not really nepotism,¡± Felix said. ¡°She just knows him already, so they¡¯re obviously going to be more friendly towards each other. It¡¯s not like the teacher we have are supposed to be emotionless robots.¡± He turned to Yvessa. ¡°As to your point, Afi¡¯s an asshole. Yeah, I challenged him to a duel because he was trying to get under your skin, but it¡¯s not like if you weren¡¯t there I¡¯d be all buddy buddy with him. I¡¯d have done the same thing if I saw him trying to pick on anyone else.¡±

    Sam rested his chin on his hands. ¡°This is all so very fascinating. And so very stupid¡ªI¡¯m sorry that was a slip of the tongue. I didn¡¯t mean that.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. You are right, after all,¡± Yvessa said, with a self-mocking smile. ¡°It¡¯s an incredibly stupid thing to have happened and even more stupid that I let it get to me even the tiny amount that it did. For what it¡¯s worth, Felix, I would¡¯ve also wanted kick Afi¡¯s ass if I saw him picking on anyone else.¡±

    ¡°Hell yeah you would,¡± Felix said. ¡°Good partners think alike.¡±

    ¡°Partners?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I don¡¯t get it. Are you gay or not?¡±

    ¡°Of course I am. I said I was, so why wouldn¡¯t I be?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe because there are people out there who tell other people they just met that they are gay in jest, even though they are, in fact, straight.¡±

    ¡°Who does that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, people.¡± Sam avoided eye contact. ¡°So what¡¯s this all partner business then?¡±

    ¡°Combat partners. We¡¯re training as a team, hoping to get deployed together once we graduate.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s pretty much a done deal,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°The real question is whether we¡¯ll get to join Sarah¡¯s unit or another elite unit.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. And whatever the case, we probably won¡¯t be deployed with anyone in our year, so you only need to spend three and a half more years with these people.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Sam said, ¡°three and a half years?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Our first year of deployment is really just another year of training. So we won¡¯t get separated into different units until that year¡¯s over.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ good to know. And you¡¯re sure that none of your classmates will be following in your footsteps? You¡¯re that good?¡±

    Yvessa scoffed. ¡°Of course. Besides, our real deployment will be more like an investment for the future. The military expects that whatever gap there will be between us and the average graduate in three and a half years will only widen as time goes by, so they will choose for us a unit with that in mind. But still, it¡¯s not like we¡¯re the only two prospects for being sent to elite units after graduation. And it¡¯s even less true that we¡¯re ¡®that good.¡¯ Compared to some of the real geniuses in the Web, we still come up short.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Felix shook his head. ¡°Geniuses? Plural? Dude, you have got to stop comparing yourself to Erianna. By your own admission, she¡¯s one of a kind. To answer your question, Sam. Yes, we¡¯re that good. The best in our year by a long stretch. Hell, the best in the generation.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sam exclaimed. ¡°Good for you guys. And even better for me. Guess I really hit the jackpot on who I made friends with. I mean, can you imagine if you two were just some random schmucks and after graduating, we would never meet again? It does make things even funnier, though.¡±

    ¡°Makes what funnier?¡± Yvessa asked with narrowed eyes.

    ¡°The whole bullying situation from yesterday. How stupid it all is.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t bullying,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Oh, believe me. I know bullying, and that was bullying. One sanctioned and even instigated by a teacher maybe, but bullying nonetheless. Only unlike in my previous experience, yours stems from the fact that you are much better than the rest of your peers and they are looking up at you exactly the opposite of the much more common: looking down on the bullied person.¡±

    Yvessa raised her hands. ¡°Whatever it was. I¡¯m happy that we managed to provide you with some entertainment because of ¡®how stupid¡¯ it was.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Don¡¯t get me wrong. You guys weren¡¯t stupid. I¡¯m not laughing at you. It¡¯s not like when you turn eighteen, you¡¯re suddenly impervious to social pressure. Plenty of adults still suffer from bullying and the like. And the fact that the both of you are once in a generation prodigies also doesn¡¯t mean that you¡¯re not supposed to be affected by the behavior of less talented people.

    ¡°But it does make the actions of those very same people more stupid, which is what I¡¯m laughing at. I mean, c¡¯mon, they¡¯re basically alienating people who in the future could very likely be their superiors. It¡¯d be like if people made fun of me because I¡¯m level zero even though I¡¯m going to be, fingers crossed, a Ruler in a couple of years. It¡¯s idiotic. Not to mention the whole war for survival thing that you guys have got going on that raises the bar for stupidity even further.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re laughing because the people who will make the backbone of the future Terran army are acting like idiotic children today?¡± Yvessa asked. Felix barked a laugh.

    ¡°See he gets it,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°And it¡¯s not like it¡¯s just us Terrans,¡± Felix said. ¡°You told me yourself that the elves could be just as petulant and stupid as us.¡±

    ¡°That hardly makes me feel any better,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Clearly that¡¯s because you believe people to be better, or ought to be better than they truly are,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Or maybe it¡¯s because, like you said, there¡¯s a war going on and I¡¯m going to have to trust these sorts of people to have my back.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s why you pick who¡¯s going to have your back, no? That¡¯s why you got Felix and Sarah, and maybe me in the future if I¡¯ll feel like it. I¡¯ll tell you what, if this Mila person ever makes something of herself to have an actual effect on the war. Then the four of us, who will surely be way stronger than her at that point, are gonna get together to kick her ass until you¡¯re sure that she will act as she should from that point on. How about that? And until then, or until she does something that really crosses the line, we¡¯re going to do as you¡¯ve asked and leave her be.¡±

    Yvessa let out a sigh. ¡°You mean that you¡¯re going to do the same thing that I was going to do, anyway? Which means that this entire stupid conversation was truly a huge waste of time? Fine, go ahead. Just remember that I get to determine when Mila crosses the line.¡±

    Sam turned to loudly whisper to Felix. ¡°Who¡¯s gonna tell her that we left a flaming bag of dog poop outside of Mila¡¯s door?¡±

    Felix laughed but turned defensive when Yvessa looked at him. ¡°What? He¡¯s joking, he¡¯s obviously joking. He just learned about it today. Fuck it, we just met today. How could we have planned anything?¡±

    ¡°Wow, you¡¯re right,¡± Sam said. ¡°We have just met today. And look at us now, already we¡¯re becoming fast friends making pacts for the future and planning scat related pranks on immoral adults.¡±

    ¡°Good for us.¡± Yvessa rubbed her eyes. ¡°Now can we get back to what we were actually supposed to be doing, which is studying elven history?¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam called. ¡°I was going to propose the very same thing. Yeah¡­ I was going to jump off of Felix¡¯s reference to elves being awful human beings as well and ask you how come we still haven¡¯t begun studying about them yet. It was going to be a great segue, but now you¡¯ve ruined it.¡±

    Yvessa sighed.

 Chapter 35

    ¡°In the short time that we have left,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°let¡¯s start with the material from the last trimester. First trimester was before unification. Second is unification, integration and its immediate aftermath. And the third is supposed to be up to today, but according to Sarah, it¡¯s only up to the First Alliance.¡± She made a dismissive gesture, but its meaning was lost on Sam due to lacking the proper context. Never thought I¡¯d see the day when I¡¯m the one not understanding the historical references.

    ¡°The First Alliance was the agreement between the Imperials and ningani after the First Epirak Invasion,¡± Felix kindly explained when Sam turned to him in confusion.

    ¡°Right,¡± said Yvessa, ¡°except that the Kingdom of Sarechal was also part of that agreement. They rushed the peace settlement negotiation with the empire, to the Imperials benefit I might add, and even agreed to send military help to combat the Epiraks. Two facts which many Imperials are happy to ignore when criticizing the elves at the same time as the deshars.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± Sam cracked his knuckles. ¡°So the course makers pretty much splits the elven history according to the evolution of the dominant political entity, The Kingdom of Sarachel?¡±

    ¡°Sarechal,¡± Yvessa corrected him.

    ¡°Fair enough. So when are you guys learning about other races? Seems to me that if every course is a full year, then you¡¯re still one year short of achieving maximum cultural immersion.¡±

    Felix barked a bitter laugh. ¡°Only the elves get the full year. The deshars get two trimesters next year and the Imps and ningani are bunched together for the one measly trimester after that.¡±

    ¡°And no dwarves, right?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡±

    ¡°Seems a bit racist if you don¡¯t mind my saying so. Why do the elves get a full year while the dwarves don¡¯t get anything? The academy¡¯s just conforming to stereotypes, acting like that.¡±

    ¡°Probably because half of the teachers here are elves themselves. Obviously, they would place themselves as the most important to learn about.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not the reason, and you know it,¡± Yvessa admonished Felix. ¡°And how¡¯d you get to half? It¡¯s barely a fifth. The reason we learn more about the elves and deshars is because almost all of us Terrans are going to the eastern front and that¡¯s who we¡¯re going to be fighting with. Chances are, the average soldier won¡¯t even meet an Imperial or a ningana during their service. That¡¯s doubly true for the dwarves who, unlike the ningani, don¡¯t make up for their numerical disadvantage with greater magical prowess. This is all a matter of time efficiency and probabilities. There are more elves than deshars, and that¡¯s why we dedicate extra time to their history.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­¡± Felix drawled. ¡°And the fact that New Terra was basically founded by the elves has nothing to do with it?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that now?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s a gross oversimplification on Felix¡¯s part. And besides, it¡¯s got nothing to do with our lesson plan for today.¡±

    ¡°Really? Seems pretty weird that you guys don¡¯t learn about Terran history at all. Or is that kept for the third year?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s kept for highschool. But for now focus, we already wasted a lot of time.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say wasted. Did I forget to cover the different types of time expenditure in the lecture I gave you a couple of minutes ago?¡±

    ¡°No, and you¡¯re not going to waste any more time. Now, since I didn¡¯t attend the lessons at all last trimester, and we don¡¯t have a textbook at hand, I¡¯ll have to pick my own starting point. Unless you remember where they started?¡± she asked Felix.

    Felix scratched his head. ¡°The Emergence, maybe? Or was that covered in a later lesson on myths? I don¡¯t know¡­¡±

    ¡°Great, so we¡¯ll start for now with the Emergence. That¡¯s what I was planning to do anyway¡ª¡±

    ¡°Hold on,¡± Sam said. ¡°If there¡¯s a textbook, why are we even here? Couldn¡¯t I just read it and save us all the time and bother?¡±

    ¡°So now we¡¯re a bother, are we?¡± Felix asked with a smile.

    ¡°Of course there¡¯s a textbook,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°a different one for each trimester. That¡¯s why I wanted to go to the library, so we could loan you one and go over it together. I never even opened mine.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the point?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Just give me the book and I¡¯ll go over it on my own time. I read faster than I listen. I¡¯m pretty sure that most people are like that.¡±

    ¡°The book alone isn¡¯t enough. You¡¯re supposed to supplement it with the lessons themselves. Besides¡ª¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°That¡¯s what they all say. ¡®Oh, you got to read the articles. They¡¯re an integral part of the test.¡¯ Bollocks. Now there might be some courses where you have to read something that wasn¡¯t discussed in the lesson. That much is true. But I¡¯ve yet to chance upon one where you were asked something that wasn¡¯t covered in the textbook if one was provided.¡±

    ¡°Things might have changed in the last hundred years.¡±

    ¡°In higher education? Ha! No fucking way. You¡¯re just being young and naive. I was like you once upon a time. Yeah, believe or not but my first year in uni I was the perfect student. Read everything I was told to, did every homework, attended all lessons. But the only thing I got out of that was burnout. People who were taking it half as serious as I was were getting scores just as good as me, if not better.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re saying that we shouldn¡¯t give it our all?¡± Yvessa asked with a frown. ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like a very healthy attitude for someone who wants to become a Ruler in the future. Need I remind you that this place is here to teach us how to stay alive in battle?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Felix snorted. ¡°And learning who was Farris the Great would surely help him when faced against a hundred Brutes. He¡¯ll just start regaling them with the tale of Thousand Sorrows and they¡¯ll get bored to death.¡± Yvessa shot him a sharp look, but Felix wasn¡¯t about to be deterred. ¡°C¡¯mon, don¡¯t tell me that you buy into the whole better cooperation angle? Like knowing the names of all different royal dynasties is supposed to help me fight together with an elf better? What if I don¡¯t know something about their history they¡¯re going to leave me to die? Even the academy knows it¡¯s bullshit. Ever heard of someone failing to graduate because they failed history?¡±

    ¡°No. But so what?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°You¡¯d rather not know anything about the history of the people who you¡¯re going to be fighting with for the rest of your life? If that¡¯s the case, why are you even bothering going to the lessons? I know that today is your first absence of the trimester.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that¡­ Obviously, I believe that we should know about the history of the other races in the Web. I just don¡¯t buy the reason they¡¯re trying to sell us for learning it. They¡¯re trying to hide the fact that the courses are a result of political maneuvering and nothing else when they should be about the importance of learning history for learning¡¯s sake. There¡¯s no practical reason that for the elves to get a full year of us learning about them while the deshars only get two-thirds. If the knowledge we acquire actually has any effect on our combat capabilities, then learning about both of them is equally important. It¡¯s not like we know that we¡¯re going to be fighting with three elves to every two deshar. In fact, we are most likely to fight with neither of them and go into an all Terran unit.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Sam said, ¡°there¡¯s racial segregation in the military? Have you bastards forgot about my boy Harry?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing like what happened in Terran history,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°It¡¯d be more akin to two allied nations, each having their own units.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just as bad, but for different reasons! Please tell me that you at least have a unified command structure.¡±

    ¡°We Terrans do,¡± Felix said. ¡°Because every unit of us that isn¡¯t subordinate to elven command is under deshar one.¡±

    ¡°And the elves and deshars?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°They also have one,¡± Yvessa said, before Felix had a chance to open his mouth. ¡°Felix is just being obtuse on purpose. The eastern front isn¡¯t like the western one. Both the elven and deshar forces are ultimately working in unison under the command of the Silent Seer¡ªthe deshar Chosen.¡±

    ¡°Except that in practice, she¡¯s not at the front but stays on Koshed, so the two army groups are acting independently.¡±

    ¡°Koshed is one portal away from the front. If she wants to get involved, she can easily get involved. The reason why one might think the army groups are acting independently is that they¡¯ve figuratively split the front line into two halves, one under elven command and the other deshar. A split which is only tactical in nature and has nothing to do with forces allocation or composition. That is still decided only by Koshed.¡±

    It¡¯s seemed that neither of them managed to convince the other, so Sam decided to leave for less contentious waters. ¡°Alright, never mind the east. You¡¯re saying that in the west it¡¯s definitely worse?¡±

    Yvessa nodded with a grimace. ¡°The Imperials and ningani have actually split the front in two. Each one only defending their half of the line. So in practice, unless there¡¯s an emergency, they won¡¯t ever fight together in the same world.¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°You guys¡­¡± he said in a pleading voice, ¡°this is just not good. Haven¡¯t you told them about World War One? Or even Two for that matter.¡±

    ¡°Look, when you¡¯re in the Council of Chosen, you could tell them to change things up. But until then, this is how things are and there¡¯s no use crying about it.¡±

    ¡°Always a good attitude to have when one sees something wrong with the world.¡± Felix smiled.

    ¡°You¡¯re the one who didn¡¯t see a thing wrong with how things were when we last talked about it. Your only complaint was that you thought the republic ought to be in command of its own forces.¡±

    ¡°I said that we should be in command of our own, but that until we have a Chosen of our own, or at least a lot more Rulers, that this was impractical. And I stand by it. I think that every nation should be in charge of its own forces and shouldn¡¯t mix unless it was an emergency.¡±

    ¡°Felix.¡± Sam held up his hand. ¡°Let me stop you right there. You are very close to being space racist, also known as a xenophobe in the sci-fi community. Please tell me that you have a good reason for thinking the way you do and that it isn¡¯t that we humans need to stay pure and not mingle with the aliens.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not being racist. Just trying to think realistically. Most commanders care more about keeping their own people alive than those of their allied forces. So it makes most sense to keep the command structure separate along national lines. No risk of the elves, or let¡¯s say Terrans¡ªso we would be the bad guys in this scenario¡ªsending a hundred deshars to die in order to save fifty of our own. Now I¡¯m not saying that there shouldn¡¯t be integrated units or people from one nation in overall command of another, but that in general, each nation should only be in command of their own units. If there¡¯s an emergency, then obviously that changes the picture, but this way we minimize the risk that one race would serve as the fodder for another.¡±

    Sam nodded his head, mollified but unconvinced. ¡°Say what you will, but the boy¡¯s not a racist. At least not based on this one opinion of his. Now I¡¯m not saying I¡¯m agreeing with what you said, mind, but it does make enough sense for me to believe that you didn¡¯t come up with in order to justify any other point of view. Yvessa, you obviously disagree, care to share with the class why?¡±

    ¡°No. And we haven¡¯t even started the class yet. We were going to, but then you two dragged us to this unrelated conversation.¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t me,¡± Sam said shaggily. ¡°I just raised the idea that the official purpose of our meeting today was a total waste of time and that our time would be much better served if I just studied from a textbook. Felix is the one who got us sidetracked by whining about the elven influence on our studying.¡±

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    Yvessa crossed her hands and turned her head sideways. ¡°How could it be a waste of time if we haven¡¯t even started it?¡±

    ¡°Speaking about elven superiority,¡± Felix said, ¡°did you know that the elves, same as the other races for that matter, don¡¯t study Terran history the same way we do theirs?¡±

    ¡°Of course they study it,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Right, right. They do study it, but unlike us, for them it¡¯s an elective.¡±

    ¡°Which plenty of them pick. It¡¯s the most popular elective at the Sarechi Royal Academy for a reason.¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s not the same, is it? They can choose whether to learn about us. But we have to learn about them. Why? Because obviously we are much less important in the Web¡¯s political landscape. If history lessons had anything to do with actual conduct in battle, the elves and deshars would sure as hell be learning about us.¡± He turned to Sam. ¡°We might not have a Chosen or as many Rulers but our regular forces are the second largest after the Imperials. Which forces us to confront the fact that the academy¡¯s insistence on history lessons is due to political forces and nothing else.¡±

    Sam laid back on the chair, stretching both his arms and legs to their fullest. ¡°What¡¯s your point?¡±

    ¡°My point? I just made my point. They¡¯re forcing us to learn about them, their history and customs, by claiming that it will help us fight better together. But they don¡¯t act upon their own advise when it comes to learning our history. It¡¯s pure hypocrisy.¡±

    ¡°OK, and?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean and? That¡¯s it. It¡¯s bullshit! They¡¯re just lording their superiority over us like where some kind of backwater civilization that hadn¡¯t even invented the wheel. We shouldn¡¯t be forced to learn about them just cause they¡¯re stronger than us.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Sam drawled. ¡°Sound pretty reasonable to me. The big kids get to make the playground¡¯s rules. And as long as those rules don¡¯t contradict the teacher¡¯s order, i.e. any moral restrictions, anything goes. It¡¯s not ideal, sure, but I just don¡¯t see what the great harm is.¡±

    ¡°The other races are basically forcing us to learn about them! How come the elves get to decide what type of knowledge is valuable for me to learn and what isn¡¯t? It¡¯s a matter of mutual respect. As long as the foreign races can dictate to us basic stuff like education, how could we ever hold our head high and treat ourselves as their equal?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you think you¡¯re putting a bit too much into it?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Besides, how can you be so sure that anyone¡¯s forcing the academy what to teach and what not to teach? After all, we only get one trimester for both the Imperials and the ningani and even in that instance, ningana history is taught less than Imperial.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your point?¡± Felix asked, hopefully on purpose.

    ¡°If we really were forced to learn about the other races as a result of some sort of power play by them, then how come the ningani get covered less than the Imperials? It doesn¡¯t strike me as something that your average ningana clan elder would be inclined to accept.¡±

    ¡°Why not? They simply don¡¯t care all that much about us, seeing as how we¡¯re so far removed from the eastern worlds, comfortably snug in our little three worlds enclave. Only the deshars and elves care, on account of us being in their neighborhood and sharing the front line burden with them, so they jockeyed between themselves who gets to influence the Terran youth more and, surprise surprise, the elves won out in the end.¡±

    ¡°What prize.¡± Yvessa said, deadpanned. ¡°Getting the Terran military academies to incorporate history lessons in their curriculum. Lessons that no one who isn¡¯t interested in learning about them cares about because you can¡¯t really fail them. And on the off chance that you did, they do what? Let you continue with your studies anyway. I tell you what, these foreign races, real nefarious of them to have no consequences for failing to learn about their most basic history.¡±

    Felix winced. ¡°OK. I didn¡¯t say it like that.¡±

    ¡°Say what like what?¡± Yvessa asked with feigned confusion.

    ¡°Foreign races. I didn¡¯t say it like you did.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ sounded pretty similar to my native human ears. What do you think, Sam?¡±

    ¡°Currently? I was wondering if there was any non anti-western aligned country, and if there were, which was it, where they didn¡¯t teach you about the American War of Independence. Even as a footnote.¡± They both looked at him with blank stares. ¡°What? It started from me wondering whether there was any country where they didn¡¯t teach you about World War Two. Deciding that no, there probably wasn¡¯t. My mind skipped to what¡¯s the next global event that¡¯s taught everywhere. And naturally, my mind eventually wandered to the nascent United States because of America¡¯s position as the sole superpower and cultural hegemon of the post Cold War world. Really basic stuff here guys. I don¡¯t know why you keep looking at me like that.¡±

    ¡°What did you think about the way Felix said ¡®foreign races?¡¯¡± Yvessa emphasized her question.

    ¡°Sounded a bit racist.¡± Sam admitted. Yvessa turned over her hands as though telling Felix, ¡°see?¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine.¡± Felix held up his hands. ¡°Whatever you guys say. Didn¡¯t mean anything bad by it, anyway. And not that I¡¯m disagreeing with your chastisement or anything, but how would you even know what racist people sound like?¡± he asked Sam.

    ¡°I don¡¯t imagine the rhetoric had changed much. And when you call someone a ¡®foreigner.¡¯ it¡¯s not usually done with much affection.¡±

    ¡°Well, just to make it clear, when I said foreigner, I meant people who aren¡¯t Terran citizens. As far as I¡¯m concerned, anyone¡¯s a Terran if they got or will get the right to vote. Doesn¡¯t matter if they¡¯re non-humans, born on different worlds, or even from a hundred years ago¡ª¡±

    ¡°You better not mean that. I¡¯m a neutralized citizen as of yesterday. Call me a foreigner and you¡¯ll really be digging yourself into a racist grave.¡±

    ¡°Like I said, I wasn¡¯t going to. And as for actual foreigners, I don¡¯t think any less of them. I don¡¯t care about people being different from me. You should know it better than anyone, Yvessa. But what I don¡¯t like is people looking down at me simply because I¡¯m different from them. I¡¯ve had to endure it all of my life, from other Terrans mind you, because Centauri is fucked and good magical education is really hard to get there when you don¡¯t have money. So excuse me for feeling like shit when I finally get here, where who you are shouldn¡¯t matter anymore, only to discover that I¡¯m still looked down upon. But this time it isn¡¯t by asshole rich kids who are mean to me, but by a whole entire race that decided what I should and shouldn¡¯t be learning.¡±

    Yvessa rolled her eyes. ¡°Oh, yeah. Because I¡¯m sure the entire elven race had a hand in deciding what we were going to be learning. I see the picture, the entirety of Larsus, nay of Maynil, gathered together in front of the palace, millions upon millions of people bunched up together. And they all decided unanimously that Felix Polaris should be forced to endure a lesson in elven history once a week for a whole entire school year.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant, and you know. But thank you, nevertheless, for that hilarious mental picture you painted. You really are a master of your craft. Sam, you got what I meant, right?¡±

    ¡°Sure, but I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re coming to me for. I¡¯m fairly in the ¡®you¡¯re being a little bitch¡¯ camp.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m being a bitch?¡±

    ¡°A little one.¡± Sam demonstrated with his fingers for emphasis. ¡°The distinction is important. Every one of us has been and will be a little bitch at some point in life. It¡¯s just what life is. Eventually you¡¯re gonna come up against something that you don¡¯t like and want to avoid. Faced with the inability to reject reality, and forced to tackle that which we do not like, a person will inevitably resort to whining. And whining will make you a little bitch the moment it starts grating on other people¡¯s nerves, which, in our modern inhospitable urban environment, is pretty instant.

    ¡°But like I said, it happens to everyone at some point or another. The important thing is to not let yourself become a big or even just a regular sized bitch. It is when the little bitch starts lashing out at other people due to their frustration with the existing state of things that they are transformed into a proper bitch¡ª¡±

    ¡°This going somewhere?¡± Felix asked while faking a yawn.

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°If you would have let me finish, I would have graced you with a wonderful joke about me making sure that I never end us as a regular bitch by always acting like a little bitch. But I guess now you¡¯ll never get to experience that joke in its natural habitat.¡±

    ¡°Darn¡­ So, care to explain why you think I¡¯m acting like¡­ what was it? I know it was something to do with being a bitch, but I just can¡¯t recall the adjective you¡¯ve used to describe its size. Lesser than average, was it?¡± Sam held up his left index finger and thumb so that they almost touched. ¡°Ah! That¡¯s what it was. A little bitch, yes. Will you please explain to me then, in your own words, of course, why it is that you think I¡¯m acting like a little bitch?¡±

    ¡°Gee¡­ I don¡¯t know, mate. I mean Yvessa, do we even have the time?¡± he asked her while tapping on his wrist.

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°Does it even matter at this point? You two are just going to do whatever it is you like. And it¡¯s not like I¡¯m being paid for my time here.¡±

    ¡°Certainly not! Paying for a friend¡¯s help is a surefire way to lose that friendship. And I should know, I¡¯ve lost many a friend by demanding payments in return for favors requested of me.¡±

    ¡°You had me going until the point where you claimed that you once had many friends.¡±

    ¡°Very good, Yvessa, yes! Full marks for that burn, nicely done. Felix, your rebuttal?¡±

    ¡°Stop evading Sam,¡± Felix said. ¡°If you continue acting like that, you¡¯ll make me think that you don¡¯t actually want to make me feel bad by saying whatever it is that you¡¯re really thinking.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. Now, what was your question? Joking, joking. I remember every part of our conversation, I assure you. My social anxiety can¡¯t run on empty. I got to have access to everything I said in order to best criticize myself afterwards. And let me just preface what I¡¯m about to say by saying that nothing of the following is intended as a personal attack on you yourself, or your beliefs. And not only that, you can be certain that despite how it may seem, none of what I¡¯ll say has any effect, none at all, on my evaluation of you as a person. Or at the very least, be the cause for any negative evaluation. That possibility was done and dusted the moment I downranked the probable cause for your misguided opinion on the order of battle from racism to inferiority complex. With that out of the way, let us have at you.

    ¡°So, the reason I claimed you were acting like a little bitch¡ªi.e. whining too much about an unworthy cause¡ªis because I don¡¯t see what¡¯s so bad about the version of the world as you¡¯ve described it. And this is without taking Yvessa¡¯s words into account. About how foreign history, notice how I¡¯ve used foreign by the way. About how foreign history is not being taught according to the real world power balance between the different races. And we also don¡¯t need to mind the fact that the academy doesn¡¯t actually care whether you pass the history courses. Even in a world where Yvessa is just as wrong as you a right; where the elves have heavy handedly forced the Terran authorities what to teach us young cadets and failure in passing means an expulsion from the academy. Even in a world like that, I still think you¡¯re being a little bitch.

    ¡°And again, I want to assure you that this is not an attack on you or your reputation. This is just my observation, and there is nothing inherently bad about acting like a little bitch. Like I said, everyone acts like that at some point in life, and if you would have let me finish my previous monologue, you would have had my very own case study which would have allowed you to say ¡®takes one to know one.¡¯ But I¡¯ve digressed¡­ in order not to hurt your little bitchy feelings. Sorry, sorry, couldn¡¯t help myself.

    ¡°In all seriousness. My point of contention against yours is that even in a world that¡¯s as cold and uncaring to us as you¡¯ve described; where arrogant elves tell us what we ought to learn about and forcefully trying to assimilate us into their so-called superior culture. Even in a world like that, my question to you is, ¡®so what?¡¯

    ¡°And this isn¡¯t a ¡®so what¡¯ intending to say who gives a shit. My question to you is ¡®So what? It¡¯s not that bad.¡¯ It¡¯s been the way of the world since time immemorial that stronger nations force their own culture on their weaker neighbors. What, do you think, is the reason that most of Europe has the same language family and very tiny differences between their alphabets? (Side note, this would¡¯ve been a good place to insert a joke about Finland and Hungary, but I don¡¯t think that you¡¯ll get it). What is the reason that you and I are talking in English and not Mandarin? On the spectrum of the possible actions a stronger power takes in order to culturally assimilate a lesser one, forcing the students in military academies to take three courses about elven history ranks barely on the scale.

    ¡°Now, I¡¯m not saying, indeed I have already claimed the opposite, that the situation is ideal. It¡¯s never right to force your own culture upon other people, even in the case in which said culture is objectively superior to the other culture. At least as long as we¡¯re giving culture a very narrow definition that doesn¡¯t involve anything to do with politics, ethics and the like. I¡¯ll have no one accuse me of moral relativism. And I¡¯m not saying the elven culture is any better than yours, mind you, since I still don¡¯t know anything about them, but only that the political unit which is represented by that culture is stronger than yours.

    ¡°Recall, if you will, the wandering thought which I¡¯ve previously described to you two, whether all young students worldwide learn about the American so called ¡®Revolution.¡¯ Obviously, kids in the Philippines and Liberia learn about it, or at least I think they do. But is a teenager from Ethiopia or Nepal just as likely to be forced to learn about the founding of the USA? I don¡¯t know, maybe they do, maybe they don¡¯t. Whatever the case may be, if someone came up to me and told me that at some tenth grade class in Addis Ababa, they had a history test yesterday where they asked the students what year was the Declaration of Independence signed. I would, first of all, slap that person, shake them by their shoulders and ask them, ¡®How dare you speak to me about Ethiopia?! Do I look like a king named John to you?!¡¯ But my second instinct would be to say, ¡®Huh? Really? Oh well, makes sense I guess.¡¯

    ¡°For you see, if I were in the position of this academy¡¯s dean or whoever is in charge of making the curriculum. I would also choose to dedicate some lessons to the study of the powers stronger than us and most likely to affect us in the future. While you might see this choice as shameful, you cannot deny that it is nevertheless prudent to learn about those stronger ourselves. Even if they will never be our enemies and we have no cause to fear them, is there nothing to be learned from them that might make our society better overall? After all, there must be a reason that they are stronger than us, no? Probably not; that¡¯s just trying to give things a positive functional spin. What I¡¯m really trying to get at is that the distance between an ideal world and the one where everyone is forced the learn the history of the preeminent political powers of their era¡­ is not that big.¡±

    At this point in his long-winded explanation, Sam stopped to take a breath. ¡°Also,¡± he said eventually, ¡°I¡¯ll be completely honest with you. But I love history, so you kind of lost me from the get go when you complained about having to learn about the history of any other race. Like sure, there are countries and places with relatively boring history, but I very much doubt that an entire fucking race that had magic available to it would have a boring history. That may or may not have been the deciding factor in me calling you a little bitch, and it is possible that everything I said in that respect was just made up at the spot in order to justify my instinctual reaction. You decide.¡±

    Felix¡¯s face contorted in humor. ¡°Doesn¡¯t that invalidate everything you¡¯ve just said then?¡±

    Sam tilted his head and asked, ¡°Do you really want to get into this now? I warn you, I have some pretty graphic arguments for this particular discussion.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yvessa cut in before Felix could respond. ¡°We¡¯re moving on. Sarah asked me to help teach you history and we¡¯ve wasted almost all of it talking about anything but.¡±

    ¡°I thought that we could do whatever since we weren¡¯t paying you?¡±

    ¡°I changed my mind. From now on, no more interruptions.¡±

 Chapter 36

    ¡°What if I have questions about the material?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I¡¯m a very curious boy by nature, I¡¯ll have you know. Probably to my social detriment.¡±

    ¡°If any related questions arise, you may interrupt me for an explanation, but otherwise, I expect complete silence. From the both of you.¡± Yvessa¡¯s head snapped towards Felix, which to Sam felt was a little undeserved. After all, he had been the main instigator and perpetrator, preventing them from fulfilling Sarah¡¯s objectives for the rest of their morning.

    In the end, Sam didn¡¯t ask any questions. Oh, he had plenty, even though the short introduction Yvessa managed to give him on elven history was, according to her, just the tip of the iceberg. But he figured that their time would be better spent in letting Yvessa continue her lecture unabated. Not that any of their time was really being utilized to its maximum potential. Yvessa obviously didn¡¯t get anything from having to teach Sam the very basics of the culture in which she grew up in. And seeing as Felix already passed the first course in elven history, with flying colors apparently, he also had nothing to gain from listening to Yvessa¡¯s very rudimentary lesson.

    Meanwhile, Sam, who was the only person for which Yvessa¡¯s ramblings were of any use, was also under no illusion that this could be considered anything but a waste of time. For while Yvessa was obviously knowledgeable about the subject, she didn¡¯t have any experience disseminating it to other people and it showed. She jumped from topic to topic, staying too long on some and barely touching upon others. To be fair though, the whole ordeal had been dropped on her with no warning and she had no time to prepare any lesson plan, surely by their next time she would be better organized for the task.

    Not that Sam was going to let there be a second time. It wasn¡¯t out of any problem with Yvessa or her teaching acumen. But rather due to the fact that there was a fucking textbook, readily available and including all information deemed necessary by the academy¡¯s staff regarding the subject. A textbook which would allow him to learn much faster than by simply listening to Yvessa¡¯s lecture. And would prevent other people from wasting their own precious time in order to help him make up for his lack of it. Yvessa¡¯s time could be better spent in a much more narrow scope, in which Sam would only turn to her once he finished going over the entire text in order to have any lingering questions answered.

    Still, Yvessa¡¯s lesson was interesting. Sam¡¯s initial analysis to the main point of difference between the beginning of elven history and his own human, or rather Terran one, was in the manner in which civilizations first emerged. For the elves, all the first civilizations, all the total civilizations, in fact, rose in close proximity to one another. And they each chose to expand outwards instead of conquering one of its neighbors. Yvessa didn¡¯t say that outright, but it was clear that many elves thought that this was a point of superiority in which they were better, or more moral, than the warmongering humans. Sam opted not to adopt his position regarding the matter just yet, although he still held in own apprehensions regarding the elves¡¯ supposed peaceful development thanks to Felix¡¯s frequent eye rolling and his own cynical and world-weary nature.

    ¡°And that¡¯s the story of the Lesser Whale,¡± Yvessa hurriedly finished regaling Sam with one of the many early Elven legends as a response to Felix tapping his wrist at her. ¡°Any questions?¡±

    So many, Sam thought, but stood by his earlier conviction of not asking anything for now. However, before he could inform Yvessa of that, Felix raised his hand and said, ¡°Eh, yeah, I have one Miss. I myself didn¡¯t know about that whale. And I¡¯m thinking that it¡¯s maybe because it isn¡¯t actually in the material required for the course¡­¡±

    ¡°Every young elven child knows about the Lesser Whale.¡± Yvessa crossed her hands with a frown.

    ¡°Sure, but that doesn¡¯t mean that¡ª¡±

    ¡°Look guys,¡± Sam said, ¡°it¡¯s close to twelve already and you well know that I have a date with a richer, older guy to go to. So how about you have this little tiff of yours while we¡¯re on our way?¡± He stood up and beckoned the both of them to follow him out of his room.

    ¡°So,¡± Felix said to Yvessa as they were going down the stairs, ¡°you decided to come after all?¡±

    Yvessa rolled her eyes. ¡°I already said that I¡¯m coming. Like I would give up a chance to eavesdrop on three Taken.¡±

    ¡°Say what now?¡± Sam asked. ¡°It¡¯s me, Sarah and Maurice. You already know all of us, I think. At least all of us who aren¡¯t French. Not that you¡¯re not welcome or anything, but I don¡¯t see what the big deal is about hearing us talk about our kidnapping.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t get it. The Taken are legends, and not just for Terrans. All the other races¡ªexcept maybe the dwarves; I¡¯m not sure about them.¡± She put her hand to her chin before quickly shaking her head. ¡°Never mind that. Every other race also has plenty of legends surrounding the Taken. We¡¯re talking about some of the most famous figures in the entire history of the Web.¡±

    ¡°All dead now though, no?¡± Sam said, trying not the frown upwards as they stepped into the open air.

    Felix laughed. ¡°Well, if they¡¯re dead, then surely they can¡¯t be famous. Nah, for the other races, the Taken are some of the biggest names in history. People like Avellin the Great, or the Shallow Princess. And¡­ these names don¡¯t mean anything to you, of course.¡±

    ¡°No, no. That¡¯s totally fine, don¡¯t worry about it. Name dropping is an old and reliable method to make your readers feel as though the world your story takes place in is more than just the backdrop for the main characters to play around.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t a story, though,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Well technically it is. What you mean to say is that this story is not fictional, which you know¡­ let¡¯s not talk about that right now.¡±

    ¡°Anyway¡­¡± Felix said. ¡°Taken are pretty much the stuff of legends for most people out there. Especially for the other races who don¡¯t have any anymore. Way bigger deal than the Little Whale.¡±

    ¡°Lesser Whale!¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Cool,¡± Sam said. ¡°So does that mean I could my make living by making appearances in schools all throughout the Web like some washed out F tier celebrity?¡±

    ¡°What would you need to make a living for?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°You already get unlimited money from the government.¡±

    ¡°Hey! When you say it like that, you make me sound like some welfare parasite, suckling at the tit of the government, taking all the money that hard-working small-scale farmers are supposed to be getting in order to make up for the fact that their way of farming stopped being profitable in the fifties. And I¡¯m just not willing to be objectified like that.

    ¡°No, but in all seriousness, I still don¡¯t see what¡¯s the big deal about the three of us Taken talking. Maurice just wanted to ask me some technical questions about my return. It¡¯s not like we¡¯re going to be swapping stories about how we each ran into Avellin or whatever his name was.¡±

    ¡°Her,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Avellin the Pretender was the daughter of the reigning Emperor of Pyllan during the empire¡¯s integration. She was the fourth born and considered least talented of his children, but her strength after being returned quickly skyrocketed¡­ Hence, the less common nickname.¡±

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± Sam said. ¡°It¡¯s kinda bad that I just assumed she was a guy, isn¡¯t it? In my defense, when I think about ¡®the Greats¡¯ my head immediately goes to Alexander. Also, unless the Princess dude is a guy, I thought that Felix would give one guy and one girl as an example. Also, I¡¯m sexist; I look down on women.¡±

    ¡°Bro, you too?¡± Felix said with a laugh and held up his hand for Sam to high five, which Sam promptly delivered.

    ¡°What are you going to do if people start to take your stupid jokes at face value?¡± Yvessa asked Sam.

    ¡°I¡¯m confused¡­ jokes? Anyway, it¡¯s not like I¡¯ve interacted with all that many people, and out of those few, I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve told all of them offensive jokes. And you¡¯re obviously not going to tell other people about me. On account of having no friends, of course, not because you care about me or anything.¡±

    ¡°Well just you wait.¡± Felix made a fist. ¡°The minute I make some new friends, I¡¯m out of here. I¡¯m going to throw you two under the bus in order to ingratiate myself with the cool guys¡¯ clique. And then they¡¯re going to know all of your secrets and we¡¯re going to make fun of you behind your back.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Total heel move there buddy. You¡¯re going to abandon us when where all working on our end of the year project by delivering it to the douchey antagonists; ending the first book on a low note? But then, in the third year and book, they¡¯re going to do something bad to you, causing you to kill yourself when we don¡¯t want to take you back because we don¡¯t trust you? Or, less depressing, you realize that we were your real friends all along and you¡¯re going to do a double turn and this time betray them in order to help us? I love it! Makes for a great story. Now we just need to decide whether to stereotypically portray you as a bashful virgin gay guy or a horny slutty gay guy. Which one would you like?¡±

    ¡°Bashful, please! Make me fall in love with the hottest guy on campus who¡¯s also one of the bad guys. But then I realize that I actually want to be with the quiet nerd who sits next to me in biology class.¡±

    ¡°Granted but¡ª¡±

    ¡°What the fuck are you talking about?¡± Yvessa stepped in between the two of them. ¡°And you.¡± She pointed at Felix. ¡°Stop going along with every stupid joke Sam makes. You¡¯re just encouraging him.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just jealous because you don¡¯t get any character development at all due to being the serious one.¡± Felix pointed back at her. He let out a small scream when Yvessa grabbed his finger and lightly twisted it. ¡°Meanie,¡± he said out while caressing his wounded appendage.

    ¡°That totally wasn¡¯t cool Felix,¡± Sam said. ¡°You can¡¯t tell people they¡¯re not going to get any character arcs. Especially not women, who, historically, have suffered greatly from that due to being so much less interesting than men. See how I brought us back to what we were talking about, the possibility of me being sexist?¡± He raised his eyebrows at Yvessa.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    ¡°Yeah, except that what we¡¯ve really been talking about is the Taken.¡±

    ¡°Which Sam is one of,¡± Felix said. ¡°So technically, as long as we¡¯re talking about him, we¡¯re staying on topic.¡±

    ¡°Which brings me back to my original point,¡± Sam said. ¡°Which was that me, Sarah and Maurice, are all regular people, so there¡¯s nothing interesting about listening in on our conversation. And again, you are obviously invited and should be coming, seeing as all of your friends are going to be there.¡±

    ¡°All of my Terran friends,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°I have yet to interact with another race and thus, lacking empirical evidence for the matter, I am unable to view them as fellow sophonts.¡±

    ¡°Well I,¡± Felix said, ¡°have plenty of Terran friends. They just go to a different school. Wait, you don¡¯t consider your family as friends?¡± he asked Yvessa.

    ¡°No. Do you?¡±

    ¡°Of course I do! I¡¯m obviously closer to my siblings than my parents, but I always considered all of them as my friends. Sam back me up here.¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m well with Yvessa on this one. Friends taught me that friends and family are two different things. Then again¡­ hmm¡­ Ross and Monica were also friends. But only after they were adults! And only because Chandler, who was Ross¡¯ best friends from college, moved next door to Monica. Or are you saying that maybe they were already friends before that, and Monica was the one who told Chandler about the apartment next door?¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about,¡± Yvessa said, and Felix echoed her sentiments. Sam clicked his tongue at them in response. ¡°But before you became incoherent, you were trying to, once again, dissuade us from coming along for lunch before you, once again, changed the topic.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam was appalled. ¡°I wasn¡¯t trying to dissuade you or nothing. All I want is to temper your expectations so you won¡¯t be disappointed when us Taken end up talking about who was the best chess player of all time. I¡¯ve already told you twice. You¡¯re more than welcome to come along.¡±

    ¡°And to be fair, Yvessa, you were the one who helped him change topics this time,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Time before that as well. She just had to correct me when I made the honest mistake of thinking no woman could be nicknamed the Great.¡±

    ¡°What about Catherine the Great?¡± Yvessa asked him.

    ¡°That¡­ that doesn¡¯t count. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d know about her when I spoke just five seconds ago.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t. Just the name. And I wasn¡¯t even that sure that I got that right.¡±

    ¡°Well you did. But your lack of any historical context makes me unable to offer you any of the two rebuttals I have for your counterargument. Nevertheless, I¡¯m not one to waste any potential for comedy, so I¡¯ll just present them with a sentence each and let you puzzle out the humor and logical argu¡ª¡±

    ¡°No, thank you.¡±

    ¡°You sure?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Just as I am about coming to lunch.¡±

    ¡°For the last time, no one¡¯s stopping you! Just don¡¯t come crying to me when you¡¯re bored out of your mind or when Maurice shushes you when he¡¯s in the middle of interrogating me.¡±

    ¡°Why would we be bored if that¡¯s what¡¯s going to happen?¡± Felix asked. ¡°I¡¯d love to see Maurice, who, by the way, is pretty fucking famous and not just a ¡®regular person,¡¯ tear into you.¡±

    ¡°Why would you say that?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Why would you say he¡¯s famous and then just leave it at that without explanation? That¡¯s just annoying.¡±

    ¡°Want me to explain what it then?¡±

    ¡°Not with that attitude, I don¡¯t. Yvessa, you¡¯ve already been explaining stuff to me today. How about stealing Felix¡¯s thunder?¡±

    She let out a sigh. ¡°Fine¡­ He¡¯s a very good healer. Or doctor. Whatever you want to call it. Even more important, he¡¯s a brilliant medical researcher.¡±

    Felix raised an eyebrow. ¡°More important?¡±

    ¡°Yes. More important! Most people won¡¯t be affected one way or another by the existence of a new healing focused Ruler.¡± She turned to Sam. ¡°Healers are pretty rare overall. So there aren¡¯t many of them at the higher levels, with barely any Rulers.¡±

    ¡°Why? Don¡¯t you guys grow up wanting to be doctors as well? That¡¯s like one of the most sought after occupations.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know how it is in New Terra, but most kids I grew up with wanted to be powerful fighters, rather than powerful healers.¡± Felix nodded his head in assent. ¡°And it doesn¡¯t help that being a high level healer is a steeper hill to climb than being a high level fighter. You have to combine three different disciplines: levels, magical research, and medicine. Most people who learn healing magic do it as an ancillary focus, as a first aid that¡¯s meant to supplement their fighting capabilities. Maurice is one of those rare people who solely focuses on healing magic. So Felix¡¯s point is that Maurice is famous for the possibility of becoming one of those rare healer Rulers.

    ¡°Yvessa¡¯s down selling it,¡± Felix said. ¡°Maurice is famous because people think that he can become a Ruler for certain and that the only reason he hasn¡¯t so far is in order that he could focus on research.¡±

    ¡°Why? If he becomes a Ruler they¡¯ll force him to the front lines?¡± Sam asked.

    Yvessa shrugged her shoulders. ¡°Probably not, but who knows? Combat between Rulers is supposed to be way more fatal than regular combat. The general rule goes that if a Ruler is seriously wounded in a fight than they¡¯re already on death¡¯s door. Maybe a Ruler who¡¯s focused on healing can make a difference in those cases. Achieve miracles that no one else can.¡±

    ¡°Must be something important about them that has to do with combat,¡± Felix said. ¡°Otherwise there wouldn¡¯t be a big deal about people like Maurice becoming Rulers. If not, then what reason could there be for Maurice to stay as a level 8?¡±

    ¡°If he really can make it to Ruler as easily as you claim he can,¡± Sam said. ¡°Kind of makes him an opposite of Dan in that case. Hmm¡­ maybe in more ways than one; if his own circumstances enable him to better appreciate my M.A.S.H joke. Still, I don¡¯t get why he¡¯s still stuck on level 8. If you bothered to make all to way to 8, why not make an extra effort and go all the way to 10?¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t just climb to levels 9 and 10 by gathering like it¡¯s a normal level,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Huh? Why not?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. They don¡¯t tell you until you reach level 8.¡±

    ¡°Are you serious with shit? Not telling you again? So now it¡¯s not just becoming a Ruler, it¡¯s also the levels prior to that? Why don¡¯t you guys just look it up then? I mean, the internet exists.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a military secret. They¡¯re not just going to publish it online for the whole world to see.¡±

    ¡°Again with the military secret line? And what¡¯s the big deal anyway? Are there a lot of level 8 criminals who¡¯d just love to make it to level 10 in order to wreak havoc?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing like that,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°It¡¯s just how the whole martial tradition surrounding magic has developed. Think about it, before the other races had their integration, they didn¡¯t have the concept of levels and a lot fewer Rulers. There wasn¡¯t an institutional and empirical approach to magic like we have today. Not to mention the aspect of guarding whatever knowledge you had in order to secure your base of power. So certain norms developed which dictate when you can tell a person about this or that information. Take, for example, elven children: it¡¯s considered an extreme taboo to teach them anything about magic before their Awakening.¡±

    ¡°Cause they also run the risk of having their head blown up the first time they use magic?¡±

    ¡°Sure. The same risk as you: none.¡±

    ¡°To be fair,¡± Felix said, ¡°there is a difference between the knowledge of what makes level 9 and 10 special to how to become a Ruler. The second one is actually confidential information. You¡¯re not to know about it until you have to. The first one is more like the norms Yvessa mentioned. You¡¯re not supposed to talk about it, but I¡¯m sure that if you¡¯ll needle Maurice or Dan long enough, they¡¯ll spill the beans and tell you what the big deal is. But why would you? Wouldn¡¯t you rather not worry about it until it actually matters?¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes at him. ¡°I know we just met today, but I feel like you should know by that I¡¯m not that kind of person.¡±

    ¡°Change starts with you. Be more like me.¡±

    ¡°You also don¡¯t know?¡± Sam asked Yvessa.

    She scratched her head. ¡°It¡¯s got something to do with your core, but I don¡¯t know what exactly. It¡¯s like Felix said, it doesn¡¯t matter because the magic is too advanced for us to know about, or at the very least, make use of yet.¡±

    ¡°OK, I got it,¡± Sam said after a short moment of pondering.

    ¡°Got what?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°What you need to do in order to become level 9 and 10.¡±

    ¡°No you didn¡¯t.¡± Felix chuckled. ¡°How the hell would you even know?¡±

    ¡°I guessed.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re sure that whatever you guessed is the right answer?¡±

    ¡°Sure am.¡±

    ¡°You realize how idiotic that sounds, right? You don¡¯t even know the first thing about magic.¡±

    ¡°Not ¡®real¡¯ magic, sure. But I¡¯ve read a lot of books. Most of them had magic in it. So I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the subject. And I¡¯ve used the knowledge I¡¯ve gathered all throughout my life to deduce the reason why Maurice doesn¡¯t want to become level 10.¡±

    ¡°Then please, enlighten us.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure? Wouldn¡¯t want to ruin you guys¡¯ naivety. You¡¯ll be going against centuries of practices, of well-trodden tradition.¡±

    Felix looked at Yvessa, who just shrugged in response. ¡°We¡¯re willing to risk it,¡± he said.

    ¡°OK, so this is what I got: So you know how there is the first state of your core where it¡¯s solid or whatever and then you muddle it and it breaks or something. I already forgot what it¡¯s called.¡±

    ¡°A fragmented core,¡± Yvessa provided the scholium.

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what it was. So my theory is that to get to level 8, you need to break your core down or whatever. But once there, you need to build it back up again. And the process solidifies your core and makes you unable to change it in the future for some reason. So Maurice, who¡¯s still researching the best way to be a healer, doesn¡¯t want to become a higher level because that will make him stuck in a path that he¡¯s still not sure about. I could give an example of similar cases, but I doubt any of you are familiar with the literature required to get it. So¡­ what do you think?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s idiotic.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Felix agreed. ¡°Sorry man, but that just makes no sense. That¡¯s not how muddling works in the slightest. Not to mention that the only thing that muddling has to do with level is that at higher levels, your core gets muddled faster. Oh, and that getting to level 1 and to a fragmented core is going to happen around the same time, give or take a month or two.

    Sam scrunched his lips, narrowed his eyes, and let out a frustrated sound. ¡°Well¡­ I gave it a good shot. And I¡¯m still one hundred percent going to ask Maurice about this. I mean, what sort of bullshit lore drop is this? If he doesn¡¯t want me to know what it takes to become level 10, then he shouldn¡¯t have acted out of the norm and stayed at level 8.¡±

    ¡°You know that making it to level 10 isn¡¯t the norm though, right?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know anything. I believe I just demonstrated that most expertly.¡±

    ¡°Then you should know that in most deployed mobile combat units, i.e. the elites, the plurality of level allocation is either 7 or 8.¡±

    ¡°And you guys were never, not even once, intrigued enough to ask somebody why that is? I¡¯m going to talk to Sarah about this. Tell her about the quality of friends she¡¯s trying to set me up with. I mean, it¡¯s like you guys grew up in a magical society and didn¡¯t question the very basic facts that are the foundation of it and that were being ingrained in you from the moment of birth.¡±

    ¡°You never take anything for granted?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Only news headlines I see online. And maybe¡­ everything I have ever experienced enough times to, mistakenly perhaps, deduce the existence of a casual reason for it to happen again in the future. But besides those two? Nothing.¡±

    ¡°Must be a cultural difference, then. I was raised never to question what I was told at risk of tutting. How about you, Yvessa? How brainwashed was your upbringing?¡±

    ¡°Zero,¡± she replied without looking at him. ¡°One of the most important lesson we were taught, for a would be magical expert, was to always keep questioning what we were told. The field of magic is always changing and developing, not to mention how much personal preferences matter at the higher levels.¡±

    ¡°And yet you¡¯ve never thought to question what is the reason for the blockage up the ladder to level 10?¡± Felix said before Sam could and shook his head in mock disappointment.

    ¡°I haven¡¯t been told why that is, so there¡¯s nothing to question.¡±

    ¡°So the elves think that curiosity is great and all, but only about the stuff you¡¯ve been taught. Don¡¯t think about the stuff we don¡¯t tell you or why we don¡¯t tell you about them. Seems like a curious example of curiosity.¡±

    ¡°Bad meta-curiosity is what it is,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Look.¡± Yvessa furrowed her eyebrows. ¡°It¡¯s perfectly reasonable to be satisfied with the answer ¡®you¡¯ll learn in due time.¡¯ More than reasonable, in fact. Would you want a child to demand the full explanation for what happens when you divide by zero when you only started teaching them about multiplication and division?¡±

    ¡°How dumb of a child are we talking about?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Dumber than you, if you can imagine it.¡±

    ¡°Children, children,¡± Sam cut them off. ¡°There will be plenty of time for this sort of behavior after lunch. But now.¡± He gestured towards the hospital¡¯s entrance and Sarah, who was waiting there for them. ¡°You are to act with the utmost courtesy as befitting your stations, and, more importantly, mine. Don¡¯t you embarrass me in front of my fellow Taken with your petty antics!¡± He raised a haughty fist.

 Chapter 37

    ¡°That¡¯s an awful accent. Why are you talking like that?¡± Felix asked Sam with no hint of respect in his tone. The little brat.

    ¡°What do you mean? That was my best upper-middle class New-England housewife in the 1960s. Was I unable to convey the dissatisfaction I have with my marriage and station in life? The fact that the only thing I feel able to claim ownership of is my reputation in our small town?¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ That¡¯s what you were going for. No, I totally get it now. Yeah, super clear. And it all makes perfect sense to me. Must have been in some serious brain fog before.¡±

    ¡°Idiots,¡± Yvessa sighed and shook her head.

    ¡°Who and why?¡± Sarah asked them with a smile.

    ¡°These two.¡±

    ¡°You only gave her half the answer,¡± Felix whispered loudly to Yvessa and had to quickly pull his head back when she jerked her shoulder upwards.

    ¡°What¡¯d you do to Yvessa, Sam?¡± Sarah asked him while crossing her hands, still smiling.

    ¡°Physically or verbally? Both?¡±

    ¡°How about neither?¡± Yvessa gave him a soft shove.

    Sam gave her a thumbs up. ¡°OK then. Just another name on the list of women who don¡¯t want me interacting with them.¡±

    ¡°Is it just women allowed on that list?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Gays have their own list. You want I should add you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it.¡±

    ¡°You do that,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Meanwhile, let¡¯s get going. You guys are already a little late as it is.¡± And she ushered them inside the hospital, leading the way into the cafeteria, which, incidentally, still retained its proper name in the building¡¯s signage. ¡°So how was it?¡± she asked after a few seconds passed. ¡°You two didn¡¯t give Sam a hard time or anything, right?¡±

    ¡°Why are you also concerned about him?¡± Felix asked. ¡°We¡¯re your friends too, you know? Don¡¯t we also deserve a little worry?¡±

    Sarah ignored him and looked at Sam. ¡°Everything went fine? How far did you and Yvessa get with studying?¡±

    ¡°Everything was great. Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Sam reassured her. ¡°Although we liked each other¡¯s company so much that we barely had any time to dedicate to history. Choosing to get some pedicures instead.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m serious.¡±

    ¡°So am I. Why? Is it because of the pedicures? I¡¯ll have you know that Felix is gay and besides, it¡¯s the 6th century straight guys are allowed to get some beauty treatments too. Also Felix is gay.¡±

    ¡°Did you mention me being gay?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°I did but maybe not enough¡ª¡±

    ¡°See what I mean by idiots?¡± Yvessa asked Sarah. ¡°It was like that all the time.¡±

    ¡°Look who¡¯s acting all innocent all of a sudden,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Oh, shut it.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sarah said. ¡°You¡¯re right. It really wasn¡¯t Sam I should have been worried about. I left you alone with him for only a few hours and yet he managed to do so much damage. Are you proud of what you¡¯ve done, Sam?¡±

    ¡°You know that I lack the self-confidence necessary to feel pride in any deed performed solely by myself. Besides, I resent the accusation that I was on anything but my best behavior when wasting these two¡¯s last couple of hours.¡±

    ¡°So you didn¡¯t study at all?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we did,¡± Yvessa answered her. ¡°But we¡¯ve only managed to cover the first couple of centuries after The Emergence. Besides, Sam thinks that it¡¯d be better for him to study by himself from the textbooks. And while their quality may be rather lacking¡ªI¡¯ll find out just how much before dinner¡ªI have to agree that it will be the best solution for all of us time wise. Sam gets to study at his own pace. I don¡¯t need to spend my free time helping him study. And most importantly, Felix can¡¯t tag along and waste both of our time.¡±

    ¡°Harsh, but fair.¡± Felix reclined his head.

    Sam clapped him on the shoulder in reassurance. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, buddy. She¡¯s just playing hard to get. You still have a chance.¡± Felix threw his hand off.

    ¡°I guess that¡¯s alright then,¡± Sarah said before turning to Sam. ¡°Just remember to ask for Yvessa¡¯s help if you happen to need it. No reason to be ashamed.¡±

    ¡°No can do I¡¯m afraid. The shame¡¯s built in. Wouldn¡¯t prevent me from asking though, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re worried about.¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Alright, we¡¯re here.¡± She walked through the cafeteria¡¯s open door and after looking around for a moment, she pointed at a round table next to which sat Sam¡¯s private doctor. ¡°There¡¯s Maurice. Let¡¯s quickly grab some food, no reason to keep him hanging more than necessary.¡± They all nodded and set to the task of making their meal before heading for Maurice¡¯s table. Sam and Sarah, due to her coming back to him once she finished with hers, were the last to arrive. They sat down in the two empty chairs on both sides of Maurice.

    ¡°You¡¯re right on time,¡± Maurice said without checking his watch and even though they totally weren¡¯t. ¡°I¡¯m happy to see that you¡¯ve already made acquaintances with Yvessa and Felix, Sam. They¡¯ve just finished telling me that you¡¯ve already managed to become fast friends.¡±

    ¡°Well, I wouldn¡¯t say it like that.¡± Sam cleared his throat. ¡°Cause that¡¯s a very formal way of talking and us young kids simply don¡¯t roll like that. But yeah, safe to say that I¡¯m currently the best friends of all twenty-year-olds and under sitting at this table.¡±

    ¡°Those of us who don¡¯t have any other Terran friends,¡± Felix said with a smirk. Yvessa shot him a dirty look, but otherwise chose not to speak. She seemed a bit more timid than she just was mere minutes ago.

    ¡°So how have you been, Sam?¡± Maurice asked, firing the first volley in what would quickly become small talk that included the entire table except for Yvessa. It mostly consisted of Maurice taking an interest in Sam and what happened to him in the last two days, but he also made sure, almost too deliberately, to ask the other diners as to their wellbeing. Maurice finished his meal first, and besides getting out a small notebook, didn¡¯t give any hints to the fact that he asked Sam here with ulterior motives.

    That was just fine with Sam. The longer he could delay the upcoming trial, the better. Avoiding it altogether would be the best. But that was just as likely as the interrogation proving not to be a waste of Sam¡¯s time. The facts were that Maurice was intent on getting to the bottom of what (or at the very least, one aspect of what) made Sam special and, as far as he and anyone else knew, Sam should have been all for it.

    But Sam wasn¡¯t, of course. He already knew what made him special, if not the technical reasons for his returning circumstances being different from everyone else¡¯s. That last part, the subject of Maurice¡¯s questioning today, the voice in his head didn¡¯t bother explaining just yet. What Web-Web did explain was their reasoning for why Sam shouldn¡¯t tell other people about them. And while Sam didn¡¯t necessarily agree with their logic (agreement requires validity. Which requires appropriate knowledge for reaching said validity), he had to agree that the most prudent choice would be keeping the secret. He had nothing personal to gain from spilling the beans, having already gotten the VIP treatment from the authorities. And without any concrete information, just telling people that they were doomed wasn¡¯t going to create any strategic benefit for the war¡¯s conduct.

    So, in order to delay even further, or just to satisfy his own curiosity, he decided that before the doctor would get to ask his questions, Sam would get to ask his. Once he finished eating, the second at the table, he cleared his throat to draw Maurice¡¯s attention to him. ¡°Like I said, I¡¯m happy to talk about the whole Taken stuff. But before that, I do have a teeny tiny question if you would be so inclined.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no reason for you to be so polite.¡± Maurice tapped his pen on the paper. ¡°Is it something that you¡¯d like to ask in privacy? Or is this environment suitable?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Sam turned to regard Felix and Yvessa. ¡°Will you two be able to handle my gross breach of social etiquette? Or would you rather being kept in the dark for another couple of years?¡±

    ¡°Just get on with it.¡± Felix rolled his eyes.

    ¡°What?¡± Sarah asked with a laugh. ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°We got on this topic because the both of them made a big deal out of coming with me for lunch and hearing us talking about the Taken,¡± Sam said. ¡°Then I made the mistake of referencing to us as three regular people who they already know, and in my case, love. But apparently, Doctor Giraud here is a bigger deal than small folk like you or me.¡±

    ¡°Bigger deal?¡± Maurice raised an eyebrow.

    ¡°On account of you being level 8 and not any higher.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sarah said, ¡°that. You wanted to know why he still hasn¡¯t made the patterns?¡±

    ¡°Patterns?¡± asked Yvessa while Felix turned up his head and asked, ¡°What patterns?¡±

    Sam pointed at one of them, then at the other. ¡°Good questions all, very insightful. Do these patterns have to do with how a person gets to level 9 or 10?¡±

    ¡°Duh,¡± Sarah said and Maurice nodded. ¡°Wait, you don¡¯t know? Didn¡¯t you guys tell him?¡± she asked the bewildered Felix and Yvessa.

    ¡°We didn¡¯t know the answer to that ourself,¡± Felix said. ¡°How do you know?¡±

    ¡°I asked? You never thought to ask anyone about it?¡±

    ¡°Of course we did,¡± Yvessa said, with a slight frown. ¡°But we didn¡¯t. You¡¯re not supposed to know what the deal is until you¡¯re close to level 8.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but no one actually cares about that rule. I immediately asked Maurice once I learned about this when I was like fourteen. I can¡¯t believe you guys never asked anyone about this before.¡±

    ¡°And I can¡¯t believe that this is the first time the topic came up between the three of you,¡± Sam said. ¡°I have to tell you, it¡¯s quite a coincidence.¡±

    ¡°Not really. What reason would we have to talk about that? It¡¯s one of those things that everyone knows.¡±

    ¡°Well clearly not everyone.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not supposed to know about that,¡± Felix said through gritted teeth.

    ¡°To be fair,¡± Maurice said, ¡°he¡¯s right. The passing of information to low-level persons is not only considered a social taboo of sorts but also a breach of military information security¡­ In theory, at least. In practice, as long as you don¡¯t publicly publish it, no one will care. And even if you do¡­ well, the information is already available online if you look hard enough for it. But I suppose, that in certain circles, the social restriction can still hold strong. So people like Felix and Yvessa might have had the point made very clear to them that you¡¯re not to know the answer until you are required to.¡±

    ¡°Well, what is the answer?¡± Sam asked. ¡°You keep talking in circles about the big secret without actually divulging what it is to the rest of us plebs. It has something to do with patterns? What about them?¡± Fuck, I could have said talking in patterns. Although I¡¯m not sure if that would have worked.

    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    ¡°Very well,¡± Maurice said and turned to regard everyone sitting at the table one by one. Sam stared blankly at him, Yvessa shrank back, Felix nodded at him with resolve in his eyes, and Sarah just made him a motion to get it over with, which caused him to show a hint of a smile. ¡°The bare-bones of it really aren¡¯t all that complicated. The science itself is, but we¡¯re not going to touch on it.

    ¡°So, the gist of it is: At level 8, or to be more exact, at some point between level 8 and 9, for each person it is a little different, your core stops being able to increase its capacity. No matter how much you¡¯ll gather, it will stay the same size, and despite what you might have heard about the core¡¯s quality, there really isn¡¯t any way to improve it at this stage. Now, the details behind why that happens are still not understood, and what actually happens doesn¡¯t matter, as you¡¯ll be able to feel it for yourself in due time.

    ¡°What does matter is the solution that is presented for it, which everyone who wants to become a level 9 and 10 must use. Two distinct whole-body patterns. The first of which is a pattern that connects your core with your pathways, allowing them to store magical energy as well. The second pattern is very similar conceptually, and it involves connecting your newly improved pathways to the rest of your body so that your physical form will also be able to contain magic with no expenditure.¡± He stopped to take a sip of water and when he didn¡¯t display any intention of speaking further, Sam figured that explanation time was over.

    He looked at Felix and Yvessa, trying to determine if they were in the same boat he was in. ¡°Yeah, I didn¡¯t really get that. Is it because I¡¯m an ignorant child that doesn¡¯t know anything or did that also not make much sense to you?¡±

    Yvessa shook her head; her temple creased in concentration.

    ¡°Not much sense, no,¡± Felix said. ¡°For example, how the hell does that level 9 pattern work? The pathways are already connected to the core. Otherwise, we couldn¡¯t use magic at all.¡±

    Sam wagged his finger at her in agreement. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what I always thought as well. Ever since I¡¯ve been taught that less than twenty-four hours ago. You¡¯ve literally just Galileo¡¯d my world-view, and it isn¡¯t even a day old.¡±

    ¡°I do apologize for having done that, Sam,¡± Maurice said, not managing to sound even a smidge apologetic. ¡°But there are reasons why we don¡¯t teach this information to everyone, and they don¡¯t have only to do with traditions or security. Because, not only is understanding what the level 9 and 10 patterns do conceptually incredibly difficult, especially at your levels. It wouldn¡¯t be of much help to you now because applying that understanding requires knowledge that all of you are currently lacking. For your question Felix, yes, the pathways are connected to the core, but not in the way that the level 9 patterns seek to do. Making the pathways act as an extension of the core itself.¡±

    ¡°Wait!¡± Sam yelled. ¡°So does that mean that you do store magic in your body? So if I¡¯ll lose a hand at level 10 I¡¯ll go down a level?¡±

    ¡°No. Your body or pathways don¡¯t actually store any magic. They only serve to help your core increase its capacity.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make any sense.¡±

    ¡°It will when it¡¯s time for you to make the patterns. If you must know more; the intentions of the patterns is not to make your physical attributes, your pathways and body, able to serve the same function as your core. But rather, to create a version of them that exists solely in the magical realm. In other words.¡± He smiled. ¡°It has something to do with threads. We use the patterns in order to affect a change upon our magical being.¡±

    ¡°Yeah that still doesn¡¯t make any sense.¡± Sam turned to Sarah. ¡°Do you get it?¡±

    ¡°Nowhere close.¡± She smiled. ¡°I got more or less the same explanation you guys did and made my peace with not getting it for the time being. For what¡¯s it worth, I wasn¡¯t that much more knowledgeable than you are now about magic, and my understanding hasn¡¯t changed all that much with the knowledge I¡¯ve gained since. And it¡¯s actually only my technical understanding that has improved. Knowing what the patterns might look like for because we¡¯re aiming to eliminate resistance and dissipation. It¡¯s the conceptual understanding that I still have no clue about. I guess it really must be one of those things that you can¡¯t understand until you experience them for yourself.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam exclaimed with mock surprise. ¡°Well I wouldn''t know a thing about that, no siree. It¡¯s not like every day I¡¯ve been alive in the last decade, people keep bringing up a certain something that I have no clue about and then they don¡¯t bother explaining themselves and only that I¡¯ll get it for myself when I try it.¡±

    ¡°Wow, subtle,¡± muttered Felix.

    ¡°Oh, get over yourself, Sam.¡± Yvessa waved her hand at him. ¡°We¡¯ve all been there. Everyone who¡¯s ever been alive has been there or is there. You can¡¯t explain how magic feels to a person who can¡¯t feel magic, and no one¡¯s born being able to sense it. At least all you have to do is spend a couple of days without it. Normal humans have to spend twelve years before they get magic.¡±

    ¡°Saraaaah!¡± Sam whined and threw his hand towards the younger Taken. ¡°Yvessa¡¯s being reasonable with me! Tell her she has to treat me with a velvet glove, otherwise I get offended! I¡¯m a senior citizen I¡¯ll have you know.¡± Sarah just calmly patted his hand, which made for a pretty funny picture considering the stern faced doctor framed between them. ¡°I¡¯m all good now.¡± Sam exhaled and withdrew his hand.

    ¡°That was really mean, Yvessa,¡± Felix whispered to her in an attempt to reignite the flames of conflict and was barely able to dodge her attempt to strike him with her elbow. Giving a sigh, she fully sat back down again and, seeing Maurice looking at her, seemed to once again deflate into the chair.

    Noticing this, Sam opted to draw Maurice¡¯s attention away. ¡°So that covers the level 8 puzzle in general. But we¡¯re still left with the question with which we started and that was why you¡¯re still level 8. Sarah said that there was a reason why you still haven¡¯t made the patterns. So, since that is your private business, I understand if you¡¯d want me to stop live-streaming this conversation.¡±

    ¡°Spoiler alert,¡± Sarah said, ¡°this answer does make sense, but is still not satisfying.¡±

    Maurice raised his eyebrow at her. ¡°Would you like to tell my circumstance then?¡±

    ¡°OK!¡± Sarah gave him a wide smile. ¡°So basically, besides letting you reach a high level, the patterns also have some extra effects. Very important and very powerful. So, even when you know what you¡¯re doing, picking the right pattern to imprint and the method of imprinting is a whole ordeal because you have the make the right choice for you. Maurice¡¯s problem is that he doesn¡¯t know what pattern he wants to do and because of that, he¡¯d rather stay level 8 for eternity instead of making a less than perfect decision.¡± She turned back to Maurice. ¡°Pretty good summary, wouldn¡¯t you say?¡±

    ¡°It does manage to get the point across rather succinctly. I would just add that the reason for my indecision is being torn between either being a healer or a researcher. I would much rather be the latter, but in the case that my personal attendance in battle is somehow required in the future, I am remiss to give up the opportunity to be the former.¡±

    ¡°Which,¡± Sarah said, ¡°he would have to do, apparently, if he went with the patterns that he really wants.¡±

    ¡°I get it,¡± said Sam, who wasn¡¯t sure that he got it but didn¡¯t want to let the opportunity for the joke he just thought of go to waste. ¡°It¡¯s like a little boy of ten years who had yet to enter puberty and has a great tenor voice, or whatever kind of voice it is they want from young boys. The boy wants to be castrated in order to preserve his extravagant opera lifestyle, but he also knows that he¡¯s the bastard son of the current infertile monarch, who only has a male single child beside him. So he¡¯s torn between desire and duty. He wants to stay a little boy, but in the case that he¡¯ll become a king, he¡¯ll have to be a man in order to fulfill his kingly role.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°That¡¯s a great analogy. Really spot on. The only difference being that in your case there¡¯s a time limit before the boy has to make a decision. Which, if you ask Maurice, isn¡¯t the case with him.¡±

    ¡°The war isn¡¯t going anywhere,¡± Maurice said in the tone of someone who knew what he was talking about. ¡°If something does happen in the next couple of years, which mandates that the Web would be better served by me being a healer to Rulers than a researcher. Then I would gladly take upon myself said duty and begin my path towards Rulership. But until then, there is no reason to make a hasty decision that would force me on one path only.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, except that according to you, you could still do research like you¡¯re doing now if you become a healer, which means that there¡¯s no reason for you to stay as you are now.¡±

    ¡°If I were to take the mantle of a healer, then in order to fulfill my role, I would have to relocate to the front, where it would be much harder for me to carry on with my research. Besides, I have told you before, were I would to fully dedicate my patterns to research, my effectiveness for the task would be greatly enhanced. I am not willing to throw that opportunity away just for the possibility that I¡¯ll save the life of a Ruler or two. Those few lives aren¡¯t comparable to how much good I could do for the Web were I to abandon the pursuit of combat completely. The war isn¡¯t going to change because of something so minor as the lives of a few Rulers and as it stands currently, the entire front is more than stable.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ, don¡¯t say that.¡± Sam facepalmed.

    ¡°This just in,¡± Felix said, ¡°the front collapses across all worlds. Millions are dead, and billions more are going to die. Maurice Giruad has doomed all of us because of his hubris.¡±

    ¡°Stop that.¡± Yvessa pushed Felix on the shoulder. ¡°You two are being ridiculous. Nothing bad is going to happen just because Maurice stated the truth.¡±

    ¡°Is it the truth?¡± Sam asked Sarah, trying not to let on the fact that he already had an opinion on the matter.

    Sarah shrugged. ¡°It isn¡¯t a lie, I guess. Nowadays, the eastern front is in an even better position than it was before Shallenet. And ever since the Epiraks invaded in the east, there wasn¡¯t much danger of a breakthrough in the west. Still, while the life of a Ruler or two might not change the fate of the war, they would definitely change the fate of thousands and thousands of lives.¡±

    Of course, even Sarah doesn¡¯t believe that anything bad is going to happen. Sam clenched his teeth. And now we come back to the whole discussion that I wanted to avoid. The strategic implications of telling other people about what ¡°I know.¡± And since we already decided that I¡¯m not telling anyone else just yet, this doesn¡¯t serve any purpose but making me feel bad. Still, even if I managed to convince Maurice about the coming danger, it¡¯s not like I know which path is best for him to take. He gave a sigh.

    ¡°See?¡± Sarah gestured towards him. ¡°Sam agrees with me.¡±

    ¡°I do?¡±

    She ignored him and turned to Felix and Yvessa. ¡°What about you guys?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Felix shrugged. ¡°I really don¡¯t think that we¡¯ve any right to get involved in this.¡±

    ¡°Of course we do!¡± Yvessa said. ¡°It¡¯s our duty as soldiers to do everything we can in aid of the war effort. And that includes getting other people to do their utmost as well. I¡¯m sick and tired of the complacency of some people when it comes to the war, as though it doesn¡¯t have anything do with them.¡± She jerked back and lowered her head. ¡°No offense to anyone here. I was just thinking of some of the nobles from back home.¡±

    Maurice leaned his elbows on the table and joined his hands together. ¡°So what choice do I have to make in order for you to say that I¡¯m doing my ¡®utmost¡¯ for the war?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know. We don¡¯t even understand the reason of difference between your choices, so even if I think that you should focus on research it might be because of my lack of understanding your situation. But, I still think that not making any decision is the wrong choice to make.¡±

    Maurice nodded. ¡°You¡¯re right, of course. But in the absence of more information, I thought that it would be prudent, at the time when I reached level 8, to not make a decision that I might regret later. You see, I truly do not want to embark upon the path of being a combatant, but I am well aware that dire circumstances in the future might demand it from me. Therefore, I opted to leave both options available until I reached the age of forty-five. At which point, I would dedicate myself and my patterns solely to research. But, if, at any point in the next five years, there is a crisis at the front with requires me to act otherwise, I would do so without hesitation.¡±

    Sarah shook her head, but refrained from commenting. In contrast to Yvessa, who seemed to agree with Maurice¡¯s argument and nodded in understanding. ¡°How long would it take you to become a Ruler?¡± Sam asked. ¡°After having come to a decision?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hard to say¡­ It depends on how much time it would take me to gather enough to reach level 10. And then how good is my grasp on the theory behind becoming a Ruler. Still, I don¡¯t believe it would take me more than a year to reach that point, most of which would go towards getting to level 10 rather than struggling to become a Ruler.¡±

    ¡°But don¡¯t you need to know stuff about threads in order to become a Ruler? How could you know the theory without knowing about threads?¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to get me to divulge the pathway towards becoming a Ruler?¡±

    ¡°The thought hasn¡¯t even crossed my mind,¡± Sam said honestly. He was focused only on the aspect of time maximization. ¡°But thank you for reminding me that there is yet another piece of knowledge that I¡¯m not going to be taught about until the future, when I¡¯ll just be able to ¡®get it¡¯ for myself.¡±

    ¡°Actually, becoming a Ruler isn¡¯t something that you¡¯ll be able to easily figure out for yourself once you reach level 10,¡± Maurice said, letting the knowledge that he was about to expound upon the topic hang in the air for a moment or two. Sam took notice of the fact that despite their apprehension of learning stuff before they¡¯re supposed to, both Felix and Yvessa joined Sarah in paying even more attention to Maurice¡¯s words now that the conversation drifted to discussing Rulers. ¡°If it was instinctual as figuring out how to use magic once a person is able to sense it, there would be a lot more Rulers than level 10s. Which, alas¡ªor not, depending on the enemy¡¯s forces¡ªis not the case. Of course, you are an outlier to this convention due to being a Thread-Weaver. But I still don¡¯t believe that becoming a Ruler will come to you as naturally as tracing comes to everyone.¡±

    ¡°So if threads definitely have something to do with becoming a Ruler, doesn¡¯t your lack of understanding them, as you¡¯ve professed to yourself, create a barrier between you and Rulership?¡±

    ¡°You are treading on dangerous ground, Sam. Unlike with the level 8 patterns, how to become a Ruler is a closely guarded secret. One that even I am not full privy to on account of not being level 10.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to understand how much time it would take for you to become combat ready in the case of an emergency. If you don¡¯t know anything about threads, and you have to know a certain amount before becoming a Ruler, how can you be sure that you won¡¯t get stuck at level 10 for a couple of years once you get there?¡±

    ¡°Ah. I see where your concern stems from. And that it is indeed concern and not curiosity that drives you to pursue this line of questioning. Let me assuage you of worry then. The most important part of ¡®knowing about threads¡¯ is something rather basic: simply being able to see them. That is why you are practically guaranteed to become a Ruler. In this aspect, I too am, and I say this with all humility, ahead of my peers. Normal people, be they Taken or not, are usually only able to start sensing threads at level 10. My ability to discern threads¡ªhowever abysmal compared to yours¡ªat level 8 guarantees me a good enough Threadsight at level 10 to avoid this major obstacle.¡±

    ¡°Good to know.¡± Sam leaned back in the chair. Inwardly he was wondering which path should Maurice take in order to help with the war. And whether the doctor¡¯s own five-year deadline would come before or after Sam¡¯s. Just another question to add to the Web-Web file. I really ought to be writing those down at this point.

    There was at least one good thing to come out of this whole discussion today. Sam smiled and turned to Felix and Yvessa. ¡°So I guess that in the end¡­ I was sort of right.¡±

    ¡°No you weren¡¯t,¡± Felix said. Yvessa shook her head.

    ¡°But I were.¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Right about what?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Worldbuilding stuff,¡± Sam said. ¡°Guessing at the lore. I¡¯ll explain it later. Maurice seems pretty anxious to get started.¡±

 Chapter 38

    ¡°Yes, thank you Sam,¡± Maurice said, and, to his credit, without a hint of irritation in his tone. ¡°So are there any more questions for me before we move on to my questions for Sam?¡± When no one spoke up, he nodded and turned to Sam. ¡°I trust that you are still willing to discuss your experience of being returned? In case I haven¡¯t mentioned my reason for wanting to delve further into it; My hope is that through analyzing your unique circumstance we could further our understand of the process of returning. And maybe, we could begin to theorize what it is that makes you so unique, so to speak.¡± His gaze was boring into Sam¡¯s soul, and swear to god, Sam could see the muscles in Maurice¡¯s arms tensing as he held the pen and notebook, ready to begin writing at a moment¡¯s notice.

    ¡°Sure, I¡¯d love to help you,¡± Sam said. ¡°Although I have to admit to not caring all that much what makes my kidnapping¡ªor even me¡ªspecial.¡± Of course, that¡¯s because I don¡¯t have any interest, seeing as I already know. Well, I know why I¡¯m special. I was Web-Web¡¯s little hopeful Christmas miracle. Didn¡¯t get to ask why that translated itself into me being built without a core or being in timeout before teleporting here. I would add this to the pile of questions, except I don¡¯t really care about that. Probably for the best though, I¡¯ll be better able to lie the less I know about this stuff.

    ¡°Good.¡± Maurice made eye contact with Sam and held it for way too long (almost a second) before nodding. Turning to Sarah, he said, ¡°Make sure to jump in if a question occurs to you. Your memories of being returned are much more recent than mine, after all.¡± She nodded in affirmation.

    What followed was almost an hour of meticulous questioning on the part of Maurice, and rather lukewarm answering from Sam in response. Per Maurice¡¯s request, Sam began with retelling the incident to the best of his ability, and Sam was surprised at how much lacking it turned out to be. If it were anyone else but him, Sam would have found it funny that a person was able to forget so much about what was arguably the most impactful event of their life.

    Sam recalled the major bits of the event and relegated them back to Maurice with complete honesty. Of course, buying that would require subscribing to a somewhat diminutive view of what counts as truth (a must have for any would be Kantian who doesn¡¯t want the Nazis at his doorstep to kill the Jews in his attic). His streak of remaining honest by omission was cut short, however, when Maurice began questioning Sam about the voice he heard before being teleported to New Terra.

    Now Sam was forced to lie. He knew the source of the voice, if not why they chose to speak to him at that moment. But to everyone else, he shouldn¡¯t have known anything about that voice whatsoever. Last time he and Maurice talked about the subject, Sam mentioned the voice to him under the apprehension that it was part of every Taken¡¯s experience, a big fucking mistake in retrospect. Thankfully, to everyone else, the mysterious voice wasn¡¯t any more special than the other multitude of differences with Sam¡¯s return.

    ¡°What did the voice sound like?¡± Felix joined the line of interrogators.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Sam responded in a higher pitch than he meant to. ¡°Who pays attention to what voices sound like?¡±

    ¡°Well, just right now yours sounded like a chicken being plucked, so that wasn¡¯t so hard to do.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what we¡¯re going to do now, make fun of my stupid high shrilled voice?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Sarah¡¯s hand blocked Felix¡¯s face before he could respond. ¡°Do you remember anything else about the voice?¡±

    ¡°You mentioned that it sounded like a robot when you first told me about it,¡± Maurice helpfully added.

    ¡°Yeah, I guess so.¡± Sam tried to act as though he wasn¡¯t intimately familiar with what the voice sounded like. ¡°Sounded like a text to speech, maybe. Of the genderless variety, or close to it. Don¡¯t think there was anything else special about it. Except the fact that it spoke to me while I was in a complete void.¡± Which is very likely to be completely different from the void between worlds that exists outside of the conjured skies, Sam mentally recalled Maurice¡¯s assessment.

    Eventually, the discussion pivoted from his time in the void to his short experience of lying naked on the cold New Terran ground. This was great news for Sam because not only that meant an end to his need to lie, but also signaled the end of when Sam was the only witness available for the event. In fact, Sam had less knowledge than Maurice about his first moments in this new world, as the doctor had already armed himself with the incident report filled by the soldiers on duty. ¡°Perhaps I ought to contact Major Valdez,¡± Maurice remarked once they got to the part where Sam lost consciousness.

    ¡°Who?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Javi,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Maurice said. ¡°The medic who was helping stabilize your body while it was forming its core.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you mean your apprentice?¡±

    ¡°Hardly. He was just one of the many New Point students I had the benefit of teaching. True, his commitment to the path of a dedicated healer resulted in him spending more time with me than most students. But that still does not qualify him as my apprentice.¡±

    ¡°What do you need from him?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°He doesn¡¯t know anything about the Taken.¡±

    ¡°True, this is more of a professional interest. I¡¯m interested in his own analysis of Sam¡¯s body before, during and after the core formation. Even if that sheds no new light on Sam¡¯s mysterious return, studying the difference between Sam¡¯s body then and now could lead us to some new insights regarding the interaction between the core and the body.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re thinking that it could help you understand better how magic regulates the body¡¯s functions?¡±

    ¡°The human body, at least.¡± The two of them got into a heated discussion about the possible ramifications of such a discovery, and Sam was glad to see that he wasn¡¯t the only one who was at a loss. Felix was lazily prodding the remains of food on his plate, and Yvessa was just staring ahead and at nothing in particular. It took three finger snaps for Sam to bring her focus back into the real world.

    ¡°What?¡± she asked, trying to mask her surprise.

    ¡°I just wanted to check if you had anything you wanted to ask. Everyone else had had their shot.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine, thank you,¡± she said, but seemed to reconsider her stance after a second. ¡°What was the last thing you remember?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ laying in hospital, I guess. The memories kind of blend together. But that¡¯s par for the course for every one of us, no?¡± He directed the question towards Sarah and Maurice, drawing them out of their conversation.

    ¡°Indeed.¡± Maurice nodded. ¡°None of us are able to pinpoint an exact date from which we were taken, and not only that, the last few months of our previous life are all blended together, making it even harder to recall exact dates.¡±

    ¡°That sounds awful,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Maybe for these losers.¡± Sam struck a thumb towards Maurice and Sarah. ¡°But I¡¯m perfectly happy with having those couple of months mashed together. Real life hospitals are nothing like Scrubs, I¡¯ll tell you that. It¡¯s way more boring, especially when you can¡¯t get out of bed.¡±

    Sarah raised an eyebrow. ¡°Losers?¡±

    ¡°Yvessa, Felix!¡± Sam leaned over to them. ¡°Now is the time to prove your friendship. Protect me from this vile-tempered woman. She¡¯s been out to get me ever since she found out what my stance on microwaving tea is.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Sarah said, ¡°what is your stance on microwaving tea?¡±

    Sam¡¯s eyes widened, but he was saved by the sounds of piano from Maurice¡¯s phone; the doctor getting up and walking away from the table in order to answer the call. ¡°Come to think of it. I still haven¡¯t chosen a ringtone yet,¡± Sam consciously pondered aloud.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with your old one?¡± Sarah mercifully asked.

    ¡°I actually really like that song but didn¡¯t have it on my playlist because of it being my ringtone. So I¡¯m wondering whether I want it more as a song to listen to or as a song to dread when I hear it.¡±

    ¡°And how¡¯s your playlist going? Made it to a thousand yet?¡±

    ¡°Not even close. Yvessa didn¡¯t let me do it while also listening to her lecture.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You didn¡¯t mention anything about any playlist.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I knew that you were going to say no, so I figured that I shouldn¡¯t waste my time asking you.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s asinine.¡±

    ¡°Were you going to say yes?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. That¡¯s even stupider. How can you pay attention to what I¡¯m saying while you¡¯re also listening to music?¡±

    ¡°Very draconian teaching methods,¡± Felix muttered and gave a sad sigh with a shake of his head.

    ¡°Shut it. You were almost as disruptive to the lesson as the music would have been.¡±

    ¡°I beg to differ.¡± Sam came to Felix¡¯s defense. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to listen to the songs out loud, only picking based on what I remembered liking. So in actuality, Felix would have stayed the most disruptive factor in the lesson.¡±

    ¡°Wow, good to know you¡¯ve got my back,¡± Felix intoned.

    ¡°What are you moaning about? You said you wanted to be seen as one of the cool kids, and being disruptive in class is a cool kid fixture.¡±

    ¡°My god.¡± Sarah laughed. ¡°When did you grow up? The eighties?¡±

    ¡°Oh, come off it. Yeah, it might have changed by the time you, and maybe even me, were kids. But I assure you that in plenty of schools in the world, including my junior high, the popular kids were overwhelmingly the loudest ones in class.¡±

    ¡°Your upbringing sounds so sad,¡± Felix said with faked dismay.

    ¡°Fuck off, pretty boy. I grew up in the best time to grow up in. Late enough so that porn was easily accessible through the Internet. But early enough so that I didn¡¯t see anything wrong with Friends the first dozen times I watched it.¡±

    ¡°Also early enough not to see the entire world engulfed in war and eventually destroyed,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Good point! Although I don¡¯t know if to count that as a benefit of the time I was born in or who I had the ¡®luck¡¯ to be born as. If I wasn¡¯t a Taken, I would probably have lived long enough to see the end of days.¡±

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    ¡°You¡¯re making it sound like being taken was the best thing that ever happened to you,¡± Sarah said, her voice shaking a bit.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous,¡± Sam responded on impulse, his brain already juggling in order to try and change the topic. ¡°The best thing that ever happened to me is that one time I went to a supermarket with a friend. And while I initially didn¡¯t want to buy anything, when I saw the fruit stand, I decided to buy a banana. And then when we got to the checkout, the teller let me go without having to pay for that one singular banana. Now that was a good day.¡±

    ¡°That does sound magical.¡± Sarah smiled. ¡°Maybe we ought to go to buy some bananas for ourself, try and recapture that magic.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ cause I think that it happened to me again a second time. And the fact that I¡¯m not sure if it really happened leads me to think that after the first time, the wonder was lost. There¡¯s a very heavy life lesson there for you kids.¡±

    Sarah nodded in understanding and turned her head backwards. ¡°Wonder what¡¯s taking Maurice so long¡­¡±

    ¡°Think he bailed?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Why would he bail without telling us?¡± Yvessa shook her head.

    ¡°Maybe he felt uncomfortable with the way you were looking at him?¡±

    ¡°What?! I wasn¡¯t looking at him!¡±

    ¡°So it must have been the way you didn¡¯t look at him and slunk back in the chair trying to make yourself smaller.¡±

    ¡°What? I¡­ Did you notice that as well?¡± she asked Sam and Sarah.

    ¡°Yvessa, I¡¯m not going to lie to you,¡± started Sam, while Sarah just gave a nod and a small smile. ¡°I forgot what I was going to say¡­¡± Sam admitted after a moment. ¡°It¡¯s not my fault, it¡¯s a quote from Friends; I got distracted.¡±

    ¡°Who the hell are those friends you keep mention?¡± Yvessa asked him.

    ¡°Wha?¡± Sam was flabbergasted. He was shocked. Mostly, he was saddened by the fact he when he¡¯ll end up blaming his behavior on Chandler in the future, it won¡¯t land for a ton of people. ¡°I can¡¯t get into this with you right about now. We simply don¡¯t have enough time for this. Let¡¯s circle back to why you were acting like a nervous fan all lunch long.¡±

    ¡°So you did notice!¡±

    ¡°Duh. I was running out of ways to make fun of you in my head. You looked like me when I first saw a porn star in real life. Oh, there¡¯s another one.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have any jokes that don¡¯t make fun of you as well?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°No. I¡¯m like Chandler that way. Dammit! You did that on purpose!¡±

    ¡°Guys, can we focus here?¡± Felix raised his hands. ¡°It should be clear to all by now that Yvessa has a crush on Maurice, and it¡¯s our job as her friends to help her through it.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a crush on anyone!¡± Yvessa hit his arm. ¡°I was just a little nervous because he saved my dad¡¯s life.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± all three of them exclaimed simultaneously. ¡°When was that?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Six years ago. He didn¡¯t do it personally, of course. My dad had cancerous pathways.¡± That explanation seemed sufficient because Sarah and Felix nodded in understanding. Meanwhile, Sam was wondering how the hell cancer even works in a body with magic.

    ¡°It¡¯s when for some reason,¡± Sarah said, turning to Sam, ¡°be it ¡®regular cancer¡¯ of some form of a magical disease, and yes, there are some of those, a person loses control of their own pathways and they begin changing by themselves. It¡¯s dangerous for a multitude of reasons, one of which, for example, is that your pathways might actually shrink.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, dad got it from lung cancer when he was young, our age. But he was only level 1 back then, and it took him longer than average to make it to level 4 and beat off the cancer for good. The doctors believed that by that time, the cancer had already started interacting with his magic, which eventually resulted in him getting cancerous pathways a couple of years down the road.¡±

    ¡°Shit, Yvessa.¡± Felix laid a hand on her shoulders. ¡°I didn¡¯t know. I¡¯m sorry you and your dad had to go through that. Must have been awful.¡±

    ¡°Less awful than regular people whose wife wasn¡¯t the Terran ambassador to the Kingdom of Sarechal,¡± she said with a self-deprecating tone. ¡°Dad got to meet plenty of those while he was undergoing treatment, and most of them didn¡¯t have enough money for the pricer symptom relievers. Anyway.¡± She shook her head and turned to Sam. ¡°Maurice was the one, or at least the lead figure of the group, that came up with a new form of medication for cancerous pathways. It has more than ninety percent success rate and, thankfully, it worked for my dad. He¡¯s been in perfect health ever since. So I hope you can understand why I was nervous meeting the person who might be the reason why I still have a father.¡±

    ¡°If I say no, will you hit me? Ow!¡± Sarah slapped him on the back of the neck. ¡°I said if!¡±

    ¡°So why didn¡¯t you say anything?¡± Felix asked Yvessa.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ What can I say?¡± Yvessa shook her head. ¡°¡®Hi, I¡¯m the daughter of one of the people whose life you saved. Thanks a bunch?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t sound that bad to me. It¡¯s not like he¡¯s going to react negatively to you telling him that. At least I don¡¯t think so, right?¡± Felix turned to Sarah.

    ¡°Of course not! He¡¯ll be more than happy to have you thanking him, even if he won¡¯t necessarily show it.¡±

    ¡°Maybe¡­ I want to tell him it¡¯s just¡­ I¡¯ll have to think about it.¡± Yvessa fidgeted in her seat.

    Sam leaned back and looked at the ceiling in despondence. ¡°Well, you¡¯re going to have plenty of time by the way things are looking. Are you sure he didn¡¯t just Irish exit our asses?¡± he asked Sarah.

    ¡°If want to leave, you can leave. No one¡¯s forcing you to stay.¡±

    ¡°Yeah right. Where would I even go? I¡¯m like a spouse that staying in an abusive relationship because she followed her previously secular husband to a fundamentalist country and now she can¡¯t fucking leave because he took away her passport.¡±

    ¡°No one¡¯s abusing you.¡±

    ¡°You hit me just two seconds ago.¡±

    ¡°You were being an ass.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s like saying it¡¯s OK to hit a woman because she¡¯s being a nag? It¡¯s not something I can control, I¡¯ll have you know, it¡¯s just who I am.¡±

    ¡°Well be better!¡±

    ¡°Oh, sure, I¡¯ll get right on that! I¡¯ll just hop on over to the Sam store, wander over to the Anders aisle in the over twenty-one under thirty department, and pick up a better, less grating version of myself. And I won¡¯t even have to pay out of my unlimited bank account because everything¡¯s free on Thursdays.¡±

    ¡°Today¡¯s Monday.¡±

    ¡°Well there goes that plan I guess.¡±

    Sarah¡¯s rebuttal was cut in its tracks by Felix, speaking up before her. ¡°Seriously though, Sarah, I hate to side with Sam on this, but it¡¯s already been a couple of minutes. I don¡¯t want to ditch on Maurice or anything, but we have a class we need to get to.¡±

    ¡°What class?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Basic Patterns Two,¡± Yvessa answered.

    ¡°Wow. Sexy. Am I to assume that next trimester you¡¯ll be studying Basic Patterns Three?¡±

    ¡°And next year is Intermediate Patterns and the year after that is Advanced.¡± Felix made a dismissive motion with his hand. ¡°Can¡¯t really complain, though. It¡¯s literally the most important subject we¡¯re going to learn.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t agree with that at all,¡± Sam said. ¡°You can always complain about stuff. Who¡¯s been feeding you that contentedness with life crap?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a great course,¡± Sarah said. ¡°And there¡¯s nothing wrong with the name. It gets the point across perfectly.¡±

    ¡°And we¡¯re going to miss the beginning of it, unless we leave in the next couple of minutes,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Or we can run,¡± Felix suggested.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to run to class like some sort of slob!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with running to class?¡± asked the B.A. who was very fond of leaving home late on school days.

    ¡°It makes you look like you have no self control when it comes to time. For propriety¡¯s sake, a person ought to always be on time while arriving in a leisurely manner.¡±

    ¡°But what if we¡¯re waiting on someone else and that guy is being late?¡± Felix smiled. ¡°I mean, don¡¯t manners dictate that we ought to bid Maurice farewell before leaving? What if he only comes back in ten minutes? The only way we¡¯ll make it to class is if we run?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sam agreed. ¡°Not to mention that running between places is the most effective use of your time possible. Why waste fifteen minutes walking when I can get there in five and use those ten extra minutes to study or for some other form of self-improvement?¡±

    ¡°You two are just trying to trip me.¡± Yvessa crossed her hands. ¡°Well it won¡¯t work. In five minutes on the dot, we¡¯re leaving for class, whether or not Maurice is back by then.¡±

    Felix tilted his head. ¡°What do you mean we? Weren¡¯t you the one annoyed before by me making decisions in both of our names?¡±

    ¡°This is payback for then.¡±

    ¡°Oh, some payback. Fine, whatever¡­ You heard the lady Sarah; we¡¯re out of here in about¡­ four and a half minutes now.¡±

    ¡°This is riveting stuff,¡± Sam drummed on the table. ¡°A veritable race against time, but why don¡¯t we up the stakes a little? Say if Maurice gets here in the next four minutes, you, Yvessa, will have to pour your heart out for him. But if he doesn¡¯t, Sarah will owe each one of you a favor.¡±

    ¡°How come I¡¯m the one that owes them a favor? Why not you?¡±

    ¡°What the hell are they going to do with a favor from me? What they¡¯re going to ask me to make a list of must watch sitcoms of the twentieth century? A favor from you is actually worth somethi¡ª¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll take it!¡± said Felix with a wide smile, putting his hand forward for Sam to shake.

    Yvessa shouted out, ¡°Hey!¡± just as Sam reached forwards to clasp Felix¡¯s hand, and two seconds before he heard the chair next to him scraping the floor.

    ¡°Sorry for that,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Someone needed my consultation, and it took longer than I thought it would. You¡¯re probably needing to get to class by now, no?¡±

    ¡°We still have about three minutes or so,¡± Felix assured him.

    ¡°That¡¯s a very exact estimate.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s all thanks to Yvessa. She¡¯s a very punctual person. Got it at an early age from her dad.¡± Both Yvessa and Sarah shot Felix an angry look, although Yvessa¡¯s was noticeably more venomous. Maurice looked at Sam in confusion, only to receive a sage-like affirmative nod in return.

    ¡°Very well,¡± Maurice said slowly, turning his head back towards the rest of the table. ¡°Then before you leave, I want to thank the both of you for being Sam¡¯s friends and willing to help him so much, despite having just met today. Also, for being Sarah¡¯s friends, of course. I know how hard it can be for us Taken to find friends or for other people to become friends with us.¡± Felix¡¯s eyes widened and he slowly nodded while Yvessa just stared back at Maurice with her mouth half open. Sarah¡¯s face was blushing crimson red and Sam was unable to stop himself from laughing.

    ¡°Gee dad!¡± Sam said in his most head-cheerleader voice. ¡°Way to like, embarrass as. Thank god Dan isn¡¯t here or else the whole school would know just how big of a dweeb our father is.¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t do that voice ever again,¡± Sarah said, having managed to gain back some control of her facial colors.

    ¡°You can¡¯t tell me what do to! Dad! Sarah¡¯s being mean to me again.¡±

    ¡°Why am I your dad in this scenario?¡± Maurice asked, his voice as cool as a river in autumn.

    ¡°Because that¡¯s what parents say to the new friends of their socially challenged teenaged children. Could also be an older sibling if both parents are out of the picture, but you strike me as more of a dad than a big brother. Also, it¡¯s already been more than a minute and Yvessa has something really important to tell you before she has to run to class.¡± This time, it was Sam¡¯s turn to receive vicious glares from the two women while Felix was innocently looking away from the table.

    ¡°Of course.¡± Maurice turned to Yvessa. ¡°I¡¯m all ears.¡± Yvessa gulped; alternating glaring at Sam, looking at Maurice in hesitation and searching Sarah¡¯s eyes for support. Sarah nodded her head in encouragement but mouthed ¡°up to you.¡± Of course, Sam wasn¡¯t so callus as to completely leave Yvessa out to dry by forcing her to do something she didn¡¯t feel comfortable doing. If she wasn¡¯t able to communicate with Maurice in the next couple of seconds, Sam already knew exactly what to say in order to help her out of this jam and on her way.

    But as it turned out, there was no need for his social deflection skills, for Yvessa managed to convey her message to Maurice, albeit not with her usual conversational grace. ¡°I wanted to thank you for helping invent the new treatment for cancerous pathways!¡± she blurted out, and without taking a breath, continued speaking in the same frantic manner. ¡°My dad¡¯s condition got really bad a couple of years ago. He almost died was how bad it was. If we were from a less fortunate family, he probably wouldn¡¯t have made it. So you pretty much helped save my father¡¯s life and of course so many other people also owe their lives to you so I just wanted to thank you and tell you how grateful I am, all of our family is, for what you did.¡±

    Maurice cleared his throat and his face morphed ever so slightly to a kinder, more bed-side mannered version of itself. ¡°It is very nice of you to say that. And although I won¡¯t deny your appreciation, I would still like to mention that it was a group effort. Many other people, not all of them doctors even, helped in the development process. In fact, I was actually a newcomer to the group despite some of the claims in Terran media that the effort was my brainchild. Still, you are more than welcome, and I am very happy to hear that your father¡¯s condition improved. I would be glad to meet with him when he visits. If he would like that.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure he would!¡± Yvessa gave a very affirmative nod and seemed to hesitate in what to say next. ¡°But we have to go now,¡± she eventually said and grabbed Felix¡¯s arm in one hand and her bag in the other before starting to make her getaway. ¡°Thank you again!¡± she called out before speeding off towards the exit.

    Sam clicked his tongue once she was out of eyeshot. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to say this while she was still here but does anyone else kinda of feel bad for her now?¡± Maurice gave a simple nod, but Sarah was looking at Sam with narrowed eyes, having already gotten to know him better. ¡°I mean, think about it, what makes for a worst fantasy protagonist than having two living parents? Having two living parents after one of them was miraculously saved by a character the protagonist meets in the first book. She¡¯ll never make as a main character it in today¡¯s market. Let¡¯s face it, the only fantasy bestseller that has both parents alive is Narnia and I¡¯m not going to count the two of them as parents after how they treated Susan. Actually, I just thought of another example, but that one also has a caveat. What¡¯s a person whose only sibling died is called?¡±

    ¡°An only child?¡± Sarah ventured.

    ¡°Nah. That doesn¡¯t convey the full truth of it. I know, we¡¯ll call them a last child. That way we can differentiate between the only childs, who had no deficiency of parental love (in a healthy household). And the last childs, who not only had to share in the love of their parents and wider family, but also have nothing to show for it, having lost their siblings. So you and me, for example, are an orphan last child. Making us prime suspects for being a fantasy protagonist.¡±

 Chapter 39

    ¡°I hope you¡¯re not being this insensitive when you¡¯re talking to other people,¡± Sarah rubbed her temples while glaring at Sam.

    ¡°What other people? You think I just strike up a conversation with randos? You know every person that I know, alive, that is.¡±

    ¡°And have you been on your best behavior with them?¡±

    ¡°You know that I haven¡¯t. My best behavior is acting like a spineless dickweed who bends over backwards and lets people walk all over him in order not to gain any negative attitude points with them. We don¡¯t like best behaved Sam, the guy¡¯s just hiding behind whatever mask he thinks the other person will like best.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s rather an extreme state of mind, no?¡± Maurice tapped the table. ¡°Stemming from some form of social-anxiety? One that I assume hasn¡¯t been on display recently for reasons we¡¯ve already discussed?¡±

    ¡°What, are you also a therapist now?¡±

    ¡°No. But I am still a doctor. Your doctor. And I would like to give your therapist as accurate a description of yourself as possible. For when you meet them in the future. Unless you are uncomfortable sharing this kind of information, of course.¡±

    Sam let out a snort. ¡°Like hell I am. I wear my psychiatric diagnoses with pride, thank you very much. But I¡¯d much rather let this future therapist of yours analyze me with as blank a slate as possible. Maybe now that I¡¯ve got this snazzy new body and two incredibly traumatic events behind me, I¡¯ve become a completely different person. Psychosis-wise, speaking. Don¡¯t want to let my old perceptions of myself lead anyone astray, right?¡±

    Maurice turned his hand over in acknowledgment. ¡°As you wish. I¡¯ll try and avoid any non obligatory observations in my reference. And now, if you¡¯ll excuse me, I must be going. I¡¯ve a surgery to keep watch on. You two be on your best¡ªerr¡­ just keep as you are. And remember to contract me if there¡¯s anything that you need help with. That goes for you as well, Sarah.¡± He nodded to the both of them before grabbing his tray and setting off with his pad full of notations in tow.

    ¡°So he¡¯s got to have at least some Irish blood in him, what with the speed of that exit,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°He¡¯s a full-blooded Frenchmen,¡± Sarah said; her tone mildly rebuking for some reason.

    ¡°Noooo¡­ you don¡¯t say¡­ with a name like that? Who¡¯s ever heard of a French guy going by Maurice? That¡¯s a mouse¡¯s name, if anything.¡±

    ¡°Hey, you¡¯re that keeps making jokes about France.¡±

    ¡°About the French, not France itself. There¡¯s a difference.¡±

    ¡°Oh? Do enlighten me?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have somewhere you need to be?¡± Sam tapped his (still watchless because he was a bloody idiot!) wrist.

    ¡°Maybe. But my main priority right now is taking care of you. I promised Dan that I¡¯ll keep you company until he¡¯s done with whatever it is he¡¯s busy with.¡±

    ¡°You do know I¡¯m not five, right?¡±

    ¡°And how was I supposed to reach that conclusion? Judge you based on the way in which you act?¡±

    ¡°Come off it. No five-year-old can make sexist jokes as sophisticated as I can. Not to mention the plethora of sexual jokes that I still have in my arsenal and have yet to showcase. At least, I sincerely hope they can¡¯t cause otherwise that would mean that they¡¯ve had a real sick childhood.¡±

    ¡°And now you¡¯ve switched lanes over to children being sexually abused.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that. I only alluded to the subject. You were the one that gladly jumped on that wagon by stripping my words of obfuscation.¡±

    ¡°Never one to take the blame, are you?¡±

    ¡°Not when it¡¯s undeserved or I¡¯m afraid of the consequences, no. Now stop changing the subject! I¡¯m perfectly capable of surviving on my own, even in this very hostile and foreign environment: an institution for higher knowledge. So you are perfectly in your rights not to drop all of your obligations in order to babysit me.¡±

    ¡°But I promised Dan that¡ª¡±

    ¡°Dan¡¯s a big boy. He¡¯ll understand that as a fellow big boy myself, I don¡¯t have to have you chaperone me everywhere for the foreseeable future. Besides, you¡¯ve already missed a ton of classes by spending time with me. Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re not falling behind with all the courses you¡¯re registered in¡­¡±

    Sarah winced, her hand reaching up to straighten her hair. ¡°Alright¡­ I may be a little behind. But it¡¯s nothing I won¡¯t be able to make up for in a weekend or two.¡±

    ¡°What weekend? You only have Saturdays off. One rest day a week does not constitute a weekend. Maybe if Friday was a shorter day, or Sunday started late, but as it is, no way. Also, I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯re not planning to study on Saturday and will just keep me company the entire day if I let you, no?¡±

    ¡°Wha?!¡± She gasped exaggeratedly. ¡°That¡¯s a completely baseless accusation! You have no idea what you¡¯re talking about!¡±

    ¡°I never do. But I also can¡¯t help but notice that you¡¯ve yet to repudiate said baseless accusation.¡±

    ¡°Oh my, I think it¡¯s already time for me to get to class!¡± She straightened in her chair and made ready to get up. She didn¡¯t however, instead, she looked directly at Sam, clearly indicating to him that his presence was still required.

    Compelled to oblige her, Sam stood up and picked his empty tray. ¡°Want me to walk you to class?¡± he asked, already knowing the answer.

    ¡°Oh, you don¡¯t have to really,¡± Sarah lied as she began walking off. Sam followed closely behind her, intent on making sure that she actually made it to class. Although perhaps running away and leaving her alone would prove to be the better way of making sure of it. She couldn¡¯t keep watch of him if he wasn¡¯t there to keep watch of. Who am I kidding? I¡¯m not outrunning her. And even if I could, that would just make her want to catch me even more, like a grizzly bear.

    ¡°So, what class are you late for?¡± Sam asked once they were out of the mess hall.

    ¡°Intermediate Patterns Two.¡±

    ¡°Whoa! What are the chances?¡±

    ¡°About a third. There¡¯s six classes for the year and two of them are at the same time.¡±

    ¡°Ew math!¡± Sam made a face.

    ¡°Technically, it¡¯s statistics. Which is a different class than maths.¡±

    ¡°You sicken me.¡±

    ¡°Hey, cheer up, won¡¯t you? You already studied that, after all. You¡¯ve got quite the advantage over everyone else.¡±

    ¡°Oh joy. I¡¯ll just stroll down memory lane and return myself to three years ago when I only barely made my way through those courses. Surely, my skills in arithmetics and probability haven¡¯t lost any of their hard earned luster.¡±

    ¡°What did you study, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Math and statistics. That¡¯s literally what we¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be an ass.¡± She tapped his shoulder. ¡°For your Bachelor¡¯s Degree, you never actually told me. I wouldn¡¯t have even known about you having studied maths and statistics if you hadn¡¯t spent yesterday moaning about how unfair it is that maths is still important in a world with magic in it.¡±

    ¡°Well it isn¡¯t! And as for my bachelor¡¯s, I never told you cause you never asked.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m asking now.¡±

    ¡°Too late. I¡¯ve already decided to keep it a secret.¡±

    ¡°What the hell is that supposed to mean?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but did the word ¡®secret¡¯ get a new meaning while I was frozen in time?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to make any friends with that attitude, you know.¡±

    ¡°What do I need any more friends for? I just got Felix and Yvessa¡ªcoolest kids in class¡ªon my side. And I already have your unconditional love due to your motherly instincts. Believe you me, three friends are more than plenty for someone of my social caliber. In fact, it¡¯s even stretching it a bit.¡±

    ¡°So it really went alright with Yvessa and Felix?¡± Sarah¡¯s was once more filled with worry. Despite all of her objections to the fact, it was crystal clear that she was taking on the role of mama bear for Sam. Although, she might just be projecting her past issues and wishes on me and she isn¡¯t actually guided by any core aspect of her personality. I¡¯ll have to ask¡ªwait! Why the fuck I¡¯m I trying to psychoanalyze her? What is wrong with¡ª¡°Sam?¡± Sarah brought him back into focus. ¡°Everything alright?¡±

    ¡°Just peachy.¡±

    ¡°So you didn¡¯t freeze because you guys didn¡¯t get along then?¡± Sarah crossed her hands in doubt, her worry for Sam guiding her mind towards the wrong conclusion.

    ¡°Nah, nothing of the sort. Matter of fact, I was actually in the middle of debating putting forth a question before the two of them. Of a personal sort, yeah? Just to prove how close a friends we¡¯ve become in such a short while.¡±

    ¡°Really? Question about what?¡±

    ¡°It just so happens that you were the potentially questioned subject. But I¡¯m not one to gossip in front of people¡¯s faces, so excuse me if I keep my private machinations to myself. At least for a while.¡±

    ¡°As long as you don¡¯t ask them anything stupid or mean that¡¯s going to make them mad.¡±

    Sam had a fit of nervous laughter that he was only able to do away with thanks to the abundant throat clearing that followed. Sarah stared at him accusingly. ¡°It¡¯s nothing I swear!¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s just that I might¡¯ve, possibly, uttered a rather stupid and somewhat insensitive joke to Yvessa while she was in the bathroom. But it was all done and taken in good grace, I assure you.¡±

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    Sarah sighed. ¡°Oh god. What did you joke about now?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t just a joke, mind you. I simply wanted to know whether magic brought any innovation to the constant female struggle that is their life¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I wanted to know whether magic can prevent periods, so I made a joke about her being on her period. But that¡¯s it! I promise. And like I said, she took it in good stride and informed of what I wished to know.¡±

    ¡°Seriously¡­ you just met her today¡­ Fine, if you¡¯re sure that she wasn¡¯t offended. Next time, just¡­ ask google or something, alright?¡±

    ¡°What am I supposed to ask? ¡®Do women still get periods?¡¯ Hey, assistant.¡± He took out his phone from his pocket. ¡°Do modern women still get periods?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± answered the all too familiar, yet ever so slightly different female voice, ¡°on average, women get a period for about forty years of their life until premenopause. However, due to the wide circulation of the level 1 pattern that stops the menstrual cycle, many women can live their whole adult lives without having periods.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sam said, grimacing under Sarah¡¯s reproachful look. ¡°So, yes. I could have just asked the lady in my phone. But isn¡¯t it way more fun to learn about a new environment by talking with the people native to it? I just realized that technically, Yvessa isn¡¯t native to this particular environment¡­ Which is not a problem for me, cause I just now decided to evolve my previous terrestrial level cosmopolitan view into a Webwide one. We are all, each of us, citizens of the Web after all.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± Sarah waved her hand dismissively at Sam¡¯s grand proclamation. ¡°I still want to know what question you want to ask Felix and Yvessa about me.¡±

    ¡°So would I. I managed to forget it in all this hubbub.¡±

    ¡°I highly doubt it. But it¡¯s fine. As long as you¡¯re not asking them something because you¡¯re afraid to ask me. Because you don¡¯t want me to know something¡­¡±

    Sam held up his hands. ¡°I don¡¯t have any secrets from you, I swear!¡±

    ¡°What about not telling me what you got your bachelor¡¯s in?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not a secret from you, that a secret from everyone. Trust me, if there¡¯s a piece of information I¡¯m willing to divulge to a living person, you¡¯re also in that group chat.¡±

    ¡°And why are you keeping that a secret? Or is that also a secret?¡±

    Sam scratched his head. ¡°It wasn¡¯t before, but now I¡¯m thinking about it. Would you say that not knowing why I¡¯m being secretive makes me look more or less mysterious?¡±

    Sarah rubbed her eyes and sighed. ¡°Less,¡± she said, somehow still compelled to go along with Sam¡¯s antics. ¡°Oh whatever. I already said that I don¡¯t care about that. Just promise me that things really did go well between you and the both of them.¡±

    ¡°Yes! I told you, we¡¯ve already become fast friends. Stop worrying about me so much.¡±

    ¡°Easy for you to say. You¡¯re still hopped up on the rush of having magic in your body all of a sudden. You don¡¯t know what it feels like to come down from it when your body gets used to it in a couple of weeks.¡±

    ¡°That bad huh?¡± Sam clenched his teeth.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I mean no, no. There¡¯s a lot of difference between you and me. I¡¯m sure, I know, you¡¯re going to handle it fine, way better than me. I mean, I was a bawling mess straight out from day one. In comparison, you¡¯re handling yourself way better than I did.¡±

    ¡°Well I¡¯m a grown man, despite what my words might otherwise suggest. Also, like I said, a couple of time today already, you got to remember that I already went through a very traumatic event right before this one so I¡¯m both more emotionally callused and emotionally spent. Also I¡¯m using humor to deal with the pain I¡¯m feeling like¡ª¡±

    ¡°Just like Chandler, you¡¯ve told me that already.¡±

    ¡°I was going to use Hawkeye this time, since we are in a military setting and he already came up once today.¡±

    Sarah gave a defeated laugh while shaking her head. ¡°So now we¡¯ve moved from taking life lessons from Friends to the Avengers?¡±

    Sam stared back at her in disbelief, his horror palpable to the naked eye. ¡°No, just¡­ no. It¡¯s¡ªnever mind. You¡¯re already behind in your academic education. We can¡¯t just pile a whole eleven seasons on you right about now, no matter how critical it might be to helping you lead a more fulfilling life.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s another Hawkeye then?¡±

    Sam composed himself, controlling his breathing. ¡°Yeah,¡± he said in a hoarse whisper.

    ¡°Really? From before or after the one from Marvel?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ I actually don¡¯t know. I want to say yes though, just for my own peace of mind, but with how rigid the western superhero comics genre can be, it¡¯s probably the opposite. Whatever the timing might be, don¡¯t think that it can justify your egregious lack of knowledge.¡±

    ¡°So from where is your Hawkeye from? You said eleven series, I¡¯m guessing it was a TV show?¡±

    ¡°Hold on, all of a sudden you¡¯re interested in my useless pop-culture knowledge?¡± He stopped in his tracks and looked around them. Thankfully, there was no one around, so the number of people staring at the famous duo gracing their day was overwhelmingly zero. ¡°You¡¯re trying to bide for time, aren¡¯t you? Despite saying that you¡¯re going to class, for the last couple of minutes we¡¯ve just been standing here talking. You¡¯re not going back on your word now, are you? Did you forget that you¡¯re already behind because of me?¡±

    Sarah waved her hand in objection. ¡°I was just making sure that everything went fine between you and Felix and Yvessa, I wasn¡¯t trying to drag time. Besides, I can afford to lose the first couple of minutes of class. I¡¯m already way ahead of the syllabus, anyway.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care. We¡¯ve spent enough time here talking to have placated any reasonable person of the strength of my new friendship with Felix and Yvessa. I¡¯m not going to let you play hooky anymore. We¡¯re going straight to your lesson from here on out. Are we clear?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the older pupil,¡± Sarah relented and restarted her walking.

    ¡°Good. And after I¡¯m rid of your watch, I can finally go do drugs like wanted all day long.¡±

    ¡°¡®Do drugs?¡¯ So not even something specific, just drugs in general?¡±

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know what¡¯s illegal in today¡¯s society. You got to remember that I¡¯m a first year college student. It¡¯s not the substance that gives me that high, but knowing that it is illicit.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s so not how it works. Besides, as long as you¡¯re being affected by magic as a new Taken, no drug is going to have an effect on you.¡±

    Sam furrowed his brow. ¡°You¡¯re not speaking from experience, are you?¡±

    ¡°Maurice¡¯s not mine. His caretaker gave him some edibles because that¡¯s the only sweet thing she had in her house at the time.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ.¡±

    ¡°She wasn¡¯t as bad as that makes her sound, I promise. The opposite, as according to Maurice, she was an amazing woman. It¡¯s a well-known fact that drugs have no effect on new Taken until our minds have finished acclimating to magic. The first Terran Taken figured it out pretty fast.¡±

    ¡°Darn. So I guess drugs are off the table for me. No use spending money on shit that doesn¡¯t do anything. Thanks for telling me about that though, don¡¯t want to end up drinking the placebo cool aid like my dad believing that homeopathy works.¡±

    ¡°You were seriously planning to take something?¡±

    ¡°Obviously not. I just wanted to make fun of homeopathy.¡±

    Sarah smiled. ¡°Then I¡¯ve got good news for you,¡± she said, just as they entered one of the buildings. ¡°But it¡¯s gonna have to wait.¡± She gestured towards a closed door, denoting a lecture hall of quite a large capacity. ¡°Unless you want me to tell you now?¡± She made a doe¡¯s face.

    ¡°Go to class,¡± Sam said. ¡°Don¡¯t think you can tempt me. The only thing that I like more than stupidity being dunked on is stupidity being replaced due to obtaining new knowledge.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± She made her way towards the door. ¡°But we¡¯re eating dinner together. Don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to let you off of that obligation so quickly. I¡¯ll text you when and where.¡±

    ¡°OK, Mom,¡± he called after her, only barely able to cut off that second word at the last moment, after remembering that there were real actual people who knew Sarah on the other side of the door. She smiled back at him before closing the door behind her, completely drowning the sounds of the lesson being delivered. Damn. They got really good soundproofing here, Sam remarked to himself as he turned back towards the building¡¯s entrance.

    ¡°What am I going to do now?¡± When no noise chimed from his phone and no eavesdropping stranger made themselves known in order to drive the plot forwards, Sam let out a dejected sigh and began walking towards the building where Dan¡¯s office was. He said we¡¯ll be meeting there for the time being. No reason to waste any of our already limited lesson time. I¡¯ll just find some spot close by to sit and wait. Should have brought my headphones though, then I could have worked on my playlist. Or just listened to music while walking. Fuck, just realized that it¡¯s been so long since I did that. Hell, it¡¯s been so long since I¡¯ve listened to music while going anywhere. Nowhere to go before, and no reason to in the last couple of days. Except now, obviously.

    He debated with himself whether to go back to his room and pick up one of his new, still unused headphones or whether to carry on his journey despite the difficulties. In the end, acting stoic and suffering in dignity carried the day. He figured that with his future prospects laying in a military life, he might as well get used to passing time with nothing to amuse his ears. Plus, he had a hundred years of internet memes to get through. And he hadn¡¯t actually had a chance to sit down and browse the web (and was it a Web Wide Web, now?) in the last two days, his brain latching onto the playlist business as the one and only allowed avenue for leisure.

    Sighing once more, he shook his head in order to clear it of melancholy thoughts and turned his attention to his surroundings. The architecturally similar academy buildings and the pre-planned layout were starting to become a familiar sight. Without noticing it, he was already getting used to the abundance of greenery to be found wherever there wasn¡¯t concrete and steel, and to the silent awe the school¡¯s structures evoked in him.

    The people, however, were a completely different story. Sam not only had to reacquaint himself with the feeling of being out and about with the general public. But he also had to come to terms with said general public being much more interested in him than they ever were before. Funnily enough, the only time that he ever came close to receiving the same amount of attention as he was now was when he¡ªOn a second thought, that wasn¡¯t very funny.

    Thankfully, most pupils were not available to gawk at him right at the moment. The uniform schedule was yet another major difference between the infinitely varied university environment that he was used to and the much more structured time table of a military academy. Or at the very least, this military academy. Even he wasn¡¯t so far removed from empiricism as to make a general statement based on a solitary observation. What few people he did chance upon, walking the campus pathways, were much less inclined to observe him than the crowd of this morning was.

    Still, never one to leave the possibility of a social interaction merely up to chance, Sam lowered his head or started intently at the scenery whenever he came upon another person during what was slowly becoming a rather taxing journey for Sam¡¯s poor legs. On the bright side, it¡¯s pretty fucking great that I¡¯ve only just now came back to recognizing the state of my body despite working it as hard as I¡¯ve been. Things are looking up, probable causes for me having a breakdown wise.

    Finally, he reached his destination and set about trying to find some place with a bit of shade in which to wait. The academy¡¯s wonderful design was once again on full display, as there was a nice set of benches close by under a leafy canopy. Sitting down with a tired grunt, Sam just rested his head and closed his eyes for a while. A shorter while later, once he was driven out of his peaceful state of mind by said mind craving some form of interaction, he took out his phone and set out on discovering what wonders of human ingenuity the modern internet had to display.

    He very quickly (not unconsciously, because the feeling of guilt was way too prominent to disguise the reasoning for his actions) moved on to a more productive venture. Looking up information on stuff that he should definitely know about eventually, and the sooner the better. Sure, there was so much stuff, but he managed to narrow the options to only two possible topics. First, the elves; their culture and nation. This, in order to supplement Yvessa¡¯s lesson with a little more substance. His second option was to satisfy his curiosity and turn his attention towards the reason for his being brought a hundred years into the future. Curiosity and a sense of dread eventually won out, and he began looking up any and all information available online on the great war being raged just a couple of worlds away from where he was sitting.

    He wasn¡¯t even a quarter of the way through the Wikipedia article when his heart jumped in his chest due to the screen in his hands suddenly changing to display an incoming call. A blink later, when he saw who was calling and reason and sanity took the place of conditioned anxiety, Sam relaxed and answered his tutor.

    ¡°Hello?¡± he asked in a chipper manner, intent on hiding the fact that he was, a mere second ago, frightened out of his mind for no other reason than his mind retaining its stupidness through a whole different body.

    ¡°Sam? It¡¯s Dan. I called Sarah, but she messaged me that she was in class and to call you instead.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I revealed to her, a great shock I¡¯m sure you¡¯d agree, that I was in actuality a well-functioning adult, capable of surviving in the wilds of an environment that¡¯s only able to exist due to the advanced nature of our modern civilization. Why call her? Why not just call me first thing?¡±

    ¡°Never mind that right now. Where are you? Do you remember the way to my building? I¡¯ll be there in about ten minutes.¡±

    ¡°Yeah man, of course I do. It¡¯s only been a day. And it¡¯s not like the campus layout is difficult to grasp or anything.¡±

    ¡°Great! In that case, I¡¯ll wait for you outside. You¡¯re in your dorm?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m right outside the building. Figured, I¡¯ll wait for you here. Save us some time.¡±

    ¡°Oh. In that case, I¡¯ll pick up the pace. I¡¯ll be right there.¡± The call disconnected and Sam was left with eyebrows raised while looking at the screen. Is he going to run all the way here? No, wait. The distance isn¡¯t the point. It¡¯s the act of running in itself that¡¯s commendable. Keeping his thoughts to himself, he put his phone on vibrate, slid it back into his pocket and went to stand by the building entrance, waiting for the possibly running Dan.

 Chapter 40

    As it turns out, his private teacher did indeed make his way towards Sam at a running gait. Although, running didn¡¯t give old level 10 Dan enough credit. Sprinting was more like it, but only if you had the picture of an Olympic class sprinter in your head, because Sam imagined that his own sprints must look like Dan¡¯s slow paced running. The mild-mannered, and even more mild-suited man stopped, as if whiplash was only the name of a movie, and without betraying any sign of discomfort at the abrupt change¡ªor at his pace beforehand¡ªbegan walking up to Sam with a bright smile on his face.

    ¡°Good day Sam. And how are you?¡± Dan asked him while putting his right hand forward for Sam to shake.

    Mouth agape, Sam¡¯s instincts went into action before his mind did and, by the time he was able to formulate an answer, his hand was already back from embracing Dan¡¯s. ¡°Did you really just run here like that? Is that even allowed?¡± Was the brilliant line of questioning he was finally able to serve out.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m not a Ruler, so flying doesn¡¯t come with any crutches. Besides, I could hardly leave you waiting for me any longer once I knew that you were already here. That would just be a waste of time and yours is already precious enough. Good call on being here already, by the way, should have thought of it by myself, but I figured you¡¯d still be with Sarah.¡±

    Dan¡¯s words rekindled Sam¡¯s annoyance with the older man¡¯s behavior, allowing him to start slipping back into his regular, overly critical self. ¡°Yeah, what¡¯s up with that, by the way?¡± He managed to brush off the last traces of wonder from his voice, if not face. ¡°You found out I was all by myself, with no Sarah to keep watch of me, so you just had to bolt your way over here before I stuck a fork in an outlet or something?¡±

    ¡°No. I simply thought that there was no reason for you to be kept waiting for me.¡±

    ¡°In what world is your time less valuable than mine is?¡±

    ¡°In one where we¡¯re more constrained by yours than mine. Again, don¡¯t look so down on yourself. You are a future Ruler. There is nothing strange in me, or anyone else, placing a great emphasis on your studies.¡± He paused there, beckoning Sam into the building. ¡°Might we continue this discussion in a better conditioned environment?¡±

    ¡°Why? You didn¡¯t break a sweat. Your breathing isn¡¯t even different,¡± Sam muttered. Still, he allowed himself to be led into the building and, once inside, made to follow Dan up to his office. ¡°Don¡¯t think that I forgot about you not answering me question. Both you and Sarah have been running around me like two first-time parents. And while I can somewhat accept that behavior from Sarah, you don¡¯t have any reason to be helicoptering around me.¡±

    ¡°Hmm? What question was that?¡±

    ¡°Was it not clear from my analogy? Besides, I asked you only two questions today. You¡¯re not being a very good teacher if you can¡¯t remember your student¡¯s questions. But fine, let¡¯s say I¡¯m willing to accept that your imitation of Tom Cruise was only as a result of you being prudent with your, my, time. I can respect that mode of thought. What I can¡¯t respect is when an adult person wants to reach another adult person and they call a third adult person instead.¡±

    ¡°I was thinking that perhaps she has set on you some exercise or lesson and by calling her, I could avoid disturbing you in the middle of one.¡± By now they had made it to Dan¡¯s office and he opened the door and ushered Sam inside before immediately going over to the counter and making drinks for the both of them.

    ¡°Look Dan,¡± Sam said after thanking the man for the glass of water and sitting down, ¡°I¡¯m thankful and everything for all the help you guys are giving me and all the attention and thoughtfulness. But I¡¯m being serious when I¡¯m telling you that it¡¯s too much. You and Sarah are treating me like I¡¯m a six-years-old who needs constant attention and supervision. And while that may or may not have been me at six years, it¡¯s definitely not me now. I¡¯m perfectly capable of being by myself and of finding my way in this maze of a campus. Where every building is clearly marked and numbered and there¡¯s a map on every corner.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps you are right,¡± Dan said with a small sigh as he sat down with his steaming cup of tea. ¡°I may have been over worrying about you a fair bit. But I¡¯ve only been acting as suggested in the official protocol for being in charge of recently returned Taken.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not familiar with it, but I¡¯m guessing that it doesn¡¯t take into consideration the fact that the Taken in question might not be a sniveling child but instead only a sniveling adult?¡± Fucking protocols.

    ¡°Fair enough.¡± Dan smiled while raising his cup and taking a sip of the boiling hot liquid. ¡°I¡¯ll try to make adjustments for that fact in the future. But I can¡¯t promise that my attitude towards you will completely change by tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°¡¯S all I¡¯m asking for. So, leaving that behind us, may we start with the lesson?¡±

    Dan nodded. ¡°Happy to do so. Before that, however, so I¡¯ll know if you¡¯ve already begun on some subject today, what did you and Sarah end up doing? She texted me yesterday that you might meet up with the Twins?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we met up with Yvessa and Felix to do a workout together. And stop calling them that, by the way, man, they really don¡¯t like it.¡±

    Dan smiled. ¡°I¡¯d wager that it¡¯s Yvessa who doesn¡¯t like it much more than it is Felix, no?¡±

    ¡°It relates to both of them, so the matter of each person¡¯s personal dislike doesn¡¯t enter into the equation. If a friend of mine asks me not to call him something, then I¡¯m not gonna call them by that nickname.¡±

    ¡°And do you think that Felix and Yvessa are my friends before they are my students?¡±

    ¡°Why does that matter? Are you popularizing that nickname as some sort of a stupid lesson for the both of them?¡±

    ¡°Not the both of them, only for Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°Is that really it? You propagating that nickname is supposed to be training? If she can¡¯t get over people calling her stuff now, she won¡¯t be able to handle when people will call her something actually insulting?¡±

    Dan held up his hands. ¡°You are missing the point. It is not the name calling with which Yvessa has a problem, nor is it her part in the nickname given to her and Felix. I used that name with both of them when I first met them, before it received its current negative connotation in Yvessa¡¯s mind. She showed no apprehension with the ¡®title¡¯ at first. Instead, it was Felix who was agitated by it. Driven as he is, he disliked the idea of someone his own age being equal to him, even better in some aspects, as Yvessa soon proved.

    ¡°But I digress. Yvessa only came to dislike this name that Sarah jokingly coined, when it began to be widely used by people who seek to point out the differences between her and Felix. What she particularly dislikes is being known as the ¡®elven twin,¡¯ as opposed to Felix being the ¡®Terran¡¯ one. Of course, if Yvessa ever approached me herself and asked me to stop using that nickname, I would hasten to do so, no matter her reasoning.¡±

    ¡°Huh.¡± Sam leaned back in his seat. ¡°Didn¡¯t know she never brought it up to you herself. But I¡¯ll have to ask her myself about this before I completely exonerate you of the crime. Maybe she¡¯s just afraid of requesting that of you. Could be she doesn¡¯t want you to think less of her.¡±

    ¡°Does that sound like Yvessa to you?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I just met her today! Which is why I said that I¡¯ll ask her myself. Just because someone appears confident doesn¡¯t mean that they¡¯re truly are, I should know. Besides, why are you coming down on Yvessa so hard? Wanting her to come and ask you herself to stop calling her some stupid nickname or that she shouldn¡¯t let what other people think of her rattle her.¡±

    ¡°She shouldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°OK, hold your horses there, Nietzsche. There¡¯s always a time and a place for taking into consideration other people¡¯s opinion of yourself. Besides, need I point out to you the difference in treatment between myself and Yvessa? While I can¡¯t be trusted to be by myself, she needs to let other people¡¯s derision wash over her and completely ignore it? She¡¯s still nineteen, for Christ¡¯s sake.¡±

    ¡°And she has spent all of those nineteen years being groomed and prepared for the position in which she finds herself now. Do you think this is the first time in her life that the only child of the Terran ambassador to Sarechal has had the differences between her and her peers pointed out to her? I assure you, elven kids are just as vicious as Terran ones, and noble children are doubly so.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit man, so just because she lived somewhere else, she should be callused to people calling her a foreigner? Or is it that she can¡¯t feel bad because she¡¯s been raised to be stronger than this?¡±

    ¡°Of course she can feel bad. My whole reason for continuing to use that nickname is that I don¡¯t want her to feel bad. Either she gets over the fact that other Terrans might see her as an outsider and dislike her for that, or she doesn¡¯t. My hope is that she does. And that she does it while still in the confines of this academy, where your mental state, and the attitude you adopt with your peers, matters less. If I didn¡¯t know Yvessa to be made of sterner stuff, if I thought that some of the treatment she receives, even from the academy¡¯s stuff, was to her real detriment. I would put a stop to the whole business yesterday. This is a military academy, after all. If I want discipline, I can enforce discipline.¡±

    ¡°So you know about her troubles from yesterday?¡±

    ¡°Of course I know. And were she to come to me, just like with the nickname, I would handle it. And I would not look down on her whatsoever, quite the opposite. Giving people who mistreat you what for, is the same in my book as not caring what they do and think of you, as far as mental fortitude goes.¡±

    Sam exhaled, relaxing his hands. ¡°Hmm¡­ that does sound reasonable. Maybe even functionally sound. But it doesn¡¯t compute at all with how you¡¯ve been treating me with a silk glove.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t it? Would you have a problem with being in Yvessa¡¯s position?¡±

    ¡°What? Of course I would. Not one likes other people to make fun of them and see them as an outcast.¡±

    ¡°A little overexaggeration of Yvessa¡¯s case, I think, but fair enough. No one likes being in a position such as hers. But would you, be as troubled as Yvessa is by a nickname where your roles reversed?¡±

    ¡°Probably? I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Let me offer my own assessment. You would not. Your main worries have less to do with how other people view you but with how you view yourself, no? Let¡¯s say that, for example, I wanted to ¡®train¡¯ your mental fortitude the same way I do Yvessa¡¯s. How would I do that? Perhaps by giving you a huge workload, setting high expectations for what you should be able to achieve?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, except that you haven¡¯t been doing that.¡±

    Dan chuckled. ¡°True, I haven¡¯t. For a plethora of reasons. The first of which is that I know the Twins, and please allow me to call them as such because, by god, it saves a lot of time. But I know them. I know that Felix won¡¯t break because he finds himself, for the first time, with people who he doesn¡¯t immediately surpass. I know that Yvessa has suffered through much greater jeers in the past. You, on the other hand, I know nothing about. Not to mention that the difficulties you are faced with are of a different nature than the Twins. But, believe me, if I was sure that nothing could harm you mentally, I would be treating you just as harshly as I do them. Which isn¡¯t very harsh, in case that wasn¡¯t obvious. The only ¡®bad¡¯ thing I do to Yvessa¡¯s is keep using a nickname that has lost its original meaning.¡±

    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    Sam took a long sip of his drink. ¡°Fine, I hear you. But I hope that you won¡¯t blame me for confirming with Sarah, and Felix and Yvessa, that you truly aren¡¯t treating them harshly. And whatever the case is, I, should definitely be treated with a much coarser touch than you are using now. Believe you me, I respond best to shock therapy. I¡¯m the exact opposite of those frogs that don¡¯t jump out of a pot that¡¯s being heated because someone took out their brains. Put me in a pot, and the minute I feel it getting warmer, I¡¯m out of there. Throw me into a pot, however, and no matter the temperature, I¡¯m staying in.¡±

    Dan tilted his head. ¡°Didn¡¯t you tell Maurice a story of how you quit a French language class when you were a teenager? He said that you told him that in order to assuage his worries that if you decided in the future to quit the academy, you won¡¯t be able to do that.¡±

    ¡°First, I¡¯m not beholden to what three days ago Sam said, or a couple of years ago Sam did. And second, it was Latin. Why in all that is sweet and holy would I want to learn French? Third! I don¡¯t have a third, but I very strongly stand by what I previously said.¡±

    ¡°Which part? About being quick to quit or that you didn¡¯t really mean it?¡±

    ¡°About never being beholden to anything I have said or done in the past. There¡¯s a joke to be made there about a certain set of politicians and we can even name a few, just to get the rage flowing, but you won¡¯t get it, so I¡¯ll skip it. What I won¡¯t skip is this: are you seriously telling me that the stupid story I told Maurice actually affected you in how you treated me?¡±

    Dan paused to think. ¡°Perhaps a little bit,¡± he eventually admitted.

    ¡°Damn¡­ I really need to start watching what I¡¯m saying. Either that, or I could continue behaving in my current manner, and just tell people to never take anything I tell them seriously, unless they specifically ask me to be serious or I declare of being in a serious state of mind. Thereby putting all the onus of contextualizing my words and actions on other people. A perfect solution!¡±

    ¡°So, were you being serious or not when you asked me to treat you less gently?¡±

    ¡°I was, yes. I wasn¡¯t being completely serious about the whole frog and pot business, however. Although I do believe that I cope better with a sudden worsening of conditions rather than a gradual one. Also, like I keep telling people today, I did go through two very heavy mental traumas in the last year alone. In fact, I was still in the middle of the first one when the second one happened.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a reason to take it easy on you, if anything.¡±

    ¡°Au contraire, mon ami, au contraire. It would be a reason if was moping about and being all sad like. But as you can see, I am perfectly in control of my emotions and quite content to poke fun at the horrible situation in which I find myself in. That should show just how far the borders of my mental fortitude¡ªor however you¡¯d like to call it¡ªstretch.

    ¡°I would prefer to wait for a psychologist¡¯s official and comprehensive diagnosis regarding your mental state than simply taking you at your word. Especially considering your brain is under a unique magical influence currently.¡±

    ¡°Are you talking about how my brain is so hopped up on magic that even drugs won¡¯t have any effect on me? Because if you are¡­ you¡¯re probably right. I¡¯m willing to rescind my demand of being immediately put through the wringer until such time as I¡¯m evaluated by an appropriate physician. That being said, I still stand by my assertion that I¡¯m a perfectly capable of being my myself and that you should stop treating me like a twelve-year-old British girl in shock.¡±

    Dan drank his tea while scrutinizing Sam. ¡°Seems fair enough. I do recall having already agreed to that, however.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but then you had to ask me what I did today, which brought on the matter of Yvessa and Felix to the forefront and from there we slid back to the matter of the treatment I receive in your hands.¡±

    ¡°And you never did tell me what you actually managed to achieve today from an academical standpoint.¡±

    ¡°Will you believe me if I tell you that for some reason all my interactions with other people today got sidetracked into different topics from what was initially intended and as a result the only lesson I had today was greatly shortened of it¡¯s planned time?¡±

    ¡°Truly? I¡¯ll have to take your word for that. And what was the shortened lesson that you were privy to?¡±

    ¡°Elven history, or some very abridged version of their creation myths and first civilizations, owing to a certain ambassador¡¯s daughter¡¯s benevolence.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I can see how Yvessa would make for a perfect teacher of that subject. I daresay she knows much more than is required by the academy¡¯s curriculum. Still, seeing as how that is one of the courses for which self-study might prove relatively sufficient for you, I believe Yvessa¡¯s time can be better spent not acting as your private instructor on the matter.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s pretty much what we agreed upon. Just wanted to get your own judgment. So what¡¯s the verdict? Read the textbooks and if I have any questions, ask Ms. Smith?¡±

    ¡°That will be fine, yes. I had planned to ask one of the of the lecturers to make themselves available to you periodically, especially before the end of the school year and your exams, but if Yvessa doesn¡¯t mind lending you her ear, then that will not be necessary.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m actually going to be tested on history? Cause according to what I heard, they¡¯re not really required courses in order to graduate, and seeing as I¡¯m so short of time already¡­¡±

    ¡°Only if you don¡¯t end up with next year being your first. Need I remind you that have the option of starting as a first-year student next year? This time with no deficit of knowledge than the rest of your year, but quite the opposite?¡±

    ¡°Right, but you¡¯re still the one that gets to decide that, no?¡±

    ¡°Are you suggesting that I help you avoid some of the studies that every other pupil of this academy is subject to?¡±

    ¡°Only if they¡¯re bullshit?¡±

    ¡°Is history bullshit?¡±

    ¡°Ordinarily no. But I¡¯m coming to this with the perspective that knowledge of history shouldn¡¯t be the determining factor between me staying here for a whole other year and me starting to do my part at the front in two and a half years.¡±

    ¡°Three and a half,¡± Dan said. ¡°You are not very likely to do much fighting during your first year of deployment. You need to remember that it also counts as your last¡ªor first¡ªyear of training. Besides, a year or two in either direction won¡¯t matter all that much. Or are you preparing some sort of ace in the hole with which to make an impact the minute you step forth on one of the front-worlds?¡±

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°Nothing of the sort. Just looking to get out there and start making my way up the ranks as soon as I¡¯m ready.¡±

    ¡°I assure you. You would be just able to ¡®climb up the ranks¡¯ while studying here for another year. The only drawback to you staying for another year is delaying the time by which you might start gaining combat experience for that one year. And that is not a huge loss. Experience will come to you in time anyway, and it isn¡¯t critical for your current phase of growth. Not to mention that getting to gain said experience from the get go isn¡¯t even a certainty, considering your special status.¡±

    ¡°What? You mean I might not even get to fight because you¡¯re afraid that I¡¯m going to get myself killed?¡±

    ¡°¡®Get to fight?¡¯ Why are you so sure that combat would instill such pleasure in you?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t. It probably won¡¯t, but who knows? That¡¯s not my point. I was talking about doing my part in the war effort.¡±

    ¡°The war effort would be much better served by you staying alive long enough to become a Ruler. But worry not, you are not going to be forbidden from fighting because of your future potential. A Ruler with no combat experience is not worth all that much if they¡¯re intended for combat. What is most likely to happen is that you¡¯ll be stationed at an elite unit, but one that does not carry out high-risk missions. Roughly speaking, there are three sorts of units new soldiers are deployed to. The first one is for regular recruits, the trenchies, where their lack of magical strength is supplemented with modern weaponry and high numbers. Next are the more magically inclined units, higher levels, but still the chance to spend time in the trenches. Lastly, are our elite units, or rather, elites in training. This is where you¡¯ll be sent ¡±

    ¡°So what? You¡¯re sending other people to die while keeping us future elites in reserve, only sending us on to missions where there¡¯s no danger?¡±

    ¡°In a very cynical sense maybe. But no one is dying in the trenches in your stead. Manning the front is not a dangerous detail in itself; you are much more likely to die in a combat mission. But the front is unpredictable. The sector you¡¯re stationed in might come under a heavy enemy attack. An attack that someone of your strength has no chance of surviving. The chances are slim, but they are still higher than only sending you on missions where the risk has been predetermined as to not be a threat to your life.¡±

    ¡°So will I, or won¡¯t I, see combat?¡±

    ¡°Like I said, during your first year? Highly unlikely. But that is the same case for all academy graduates since we don¡¯t consider you combat ready until after that extra year of training. After? Who knows¡­ That¡¯ll depend on your personal strength and aptitude for ground deployment. But in all honesty? If the Twins or Sarah were placed in a unit where they had a chance of dying, someone majorly fucked up. If you were placed in such a unit? That¡¯s a fuck up on the scale of the entire service. So no, in all likelihood, you probably won¡¯t see high octane combat in the next couple of years. But whatever the case may be, what I want you to remember is that you shouldn¡¯t expect your time at the front to be any more fruitful for your personal development than time spent elsewhere. In another ten years, it won¡¯t matter if you spent here two and a half years or three and a half years.¡±

    Only we may not have ten years, Sam grimaced. ¡°Fine. We¡¯ll leave the question of next year alone for now. What are you planning to do with the fact that I¡¯ve already missed the first exam of elven history, or any other of the first trimester courses, for that matter?¡±

    ¡°Ideally, you would be tested or required to prepare an essay, depending on the course¡¯s requirements, on every subject of the first year before your second one. Practically? I¡¯ll have you try and complete only those courses which are simple enough for you to do now or that are perquisites for next year¡¯s material. But, for all the subjects that I will be teaching you personally, I will be the one to determine whether you have passed or not.¡±

    ¡°Putting my time with you aside. That¡¯s still a lot of exams to spread over just two trimesters¡­¡±

    ¡°Only one actually, a month and a half is hardly enough time to have you catch up to speed on what you¡¯ve missed.¡±

    ¡°Great. So that¡¯s what? Three oral exams on the subject of elven history alone. And it¡¯s not like I¡¯ve had any oral before.¡±

    Dan was either oblivious to Sam¡¯s awful joke or, more likely, chose to ignore it. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯ll be tested for all three courses at the same time. I¡¯ve already squared it away with administration. A single twenty minute oral exam instead of three separate ten-minute ones.¡±

    ¡°You realize that now it¡¯s even harder?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s to be expected. You set yourself up on this route, or did you think trying to condense eighteen years of living and a full year of academic studying into the next couple of months would be an easy thing to do? Of course, you could always take the courses as they were supposed to be taken¡­¡±

    Sam sighed while rubbing his eyes. He could already feel the dread of the upcoming challenge gathering at the old pressure points. He managed to keep his calm so far, despite the ridiculous demands being made of him, by keeping his goal posts for the future ethereal and out of his hands. Getting levels and learning how to fight were much less quantifiable goals than getting good grades.

    ¡°Guess I¡¯m lucky that I already have some academic background to take the load off me,¡± Sam said with a forced smile, trying to wrestle his anxiety back down.

    ¡°Indeed. But even still, your course load remains much heavier than anyone else for this remaining half a year. And that¡¯s not taking into account any remedial lessons that we¡¯ll have to go through in order to catch you up with an academy entrant. There¡¯s a reason that we¡¯re not teaching Terran history after all. All students that wish to attend here have to pass an examination on the subject.¡±

    ¡°Jesus, again with the history, it¡¯s like you¡¯re trying to learn from the past or something. I assure you, there¡¯s no reason for you to worry about my knowledge of history. Not Terran or anyone else¡¯s. By the time I¡¯m graduating, in two and a half years, I¡¯ll know more about history than most other students. There¡¯s no reason to worry about history. Me and history are like that.¡± He put his fingers together.

    Judging by Dan¡¯s eyes, he didn¡¯t buy too much into Sam¡¯s promise. ¡°That very well maybe, but history, mathematics, philosophy and all the rest of the supplementary subjects are not going to be your main obstacle. Not only because you are already familiar with them, but also because, as I¡¯ve just named them, they¡¯re supplementary. At the end of the day, the real challenge will be combat and magic, both of which you¡¯ll be starting from less than zero.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s just more reason not to waste anymore time talking about learning but actually learning, no?¡±

    Dan narrowed his eyes and made a point of sipping his tea as though he cared about its temperature. ¡°And what will you do if it turns out that you can¡¯t catch up to your peers by the end of the year? Will you agree with my assessment of having you repeat the first year?¡±

    Sam snapped his fingers and pointed at Dan. ¡°You betcha! But until then, we¡¯re just wasting time that we should be spending on studying. And while I do love wasting time, I don¡¯t like it when it¡¯s being wasted on what I¡¯ve deemed to be unnecessary meta-level discussions. At the end of the day, that just doesn¡¯t get us anywhere.¡±

    ¡°Very well.¡± Dan nodded and took out from thin air three textbooks, one by one pulling them out of nothing and laying them before Sam. ¡°These are for the elven history courses. They assume you know nothing of the subject matter, so you should be perfectly capable of independent study in the way we¡¯ve discussed.¡± Sam took the books and put them in his bag, meanwhile Dan was quick to deposit a few extra materials on the table, yet again as if creating them from nothing. ¡°And this is what we¡¯ll be focusing on today. Patterns. Hopefully, in a couple of weeks, you¡¯ll have enough basic knowledge to do some course work by yourself and I¡¯ll be able to assign you homework.¡±

    ¡°Are you planning on explaining what it is you just did?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to explain, for I do not know how it works. But this¡±¡ªhe lifted up his left pant leg and pointed at a bronze shin guard that hung a bit above his foot¡ª¡°is a Reshan artifact. It allows you to store items in it and bring them out with a simple tracing. As you can see, its storage area is much greater than the artifact¡¯s size. But like I said, we, and by that I mean all races of the Web, simply make use of the artifacts when we find them. But we don¡¯t know how to create them or how they work behind the scenes, so I¡¯m just as clueless of the matter as you are.¡± He held his hands as if apologizing for his lack of a scientific explanation.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s alright, I get it. It¡¯s pretty much a bag of holding, a storage ring or whatever you want to call it. Very common trope, believe you me. A must have, some lazy authors might say. No need to explain anything more.¡± Mollified by the knowledge that storage magic wasn¡¯t on the curriculum, Sam gestured over to the book laid on the table. ¡°Let¡¯s start, shall we?¡±

 Chapter 41

    A few hours later, Sam left Dan¡¯s office, with the older man in tow, even more tired than he had been after the morning¡¯s workout. Turns out that starting to study a completely new field of thought and science from scratch, with no knowledge that such a thing had even existed or was possible up till now, was hard. Nah, fuck that. Logic was hard. Calculus was hard. This went way beyond hard into the realms ¡°now I know what the stupid comedians on Catsdown feel like in the numbers round¡± hard.

    And the difficulty was further strengthened by the fact that Sam had yet to actually experience the famous intuitiveness of magic. It was very well that a certain configuration, if the lines were ridged a certain way, and the width and length were at the correct ratio, then the magical energy would trace better through the pattern. But what would that actually mean? It was as though he was forced to learn physics without knowing that motion was possible. Newton¡¯s second law wouldn¡¯t make much sense if you had no idea what acceleration looks like.

    Still, he soldiered on, and Dan was a much better teacher than Sam could ever hope to be, showing him a great deal of patience, even when forced to explain the same concept for the fifth time in only ten minutes. His tutor assured Sam that he expected nothing more, and perhaps even less, than the ability that Sam was exhibiting. But, being who he was, Sam wasn¡¯t completely able to buy in into Dan¡¯s assurances.

    After all, there was the ever present chance that Web-Web chose wrong, that Sam wasn¡¯t some prodigy in magic. There was even the scarier option that Sam was a prodigy, but simply wasn¡¯t able to bring his genius to bear as a result of who he was as a person. That there was a hero buried somewhere deep within him, but he¡¯ll never be brought up to light thanks to Sam¡¯s twisted psyche. That somewhere along the line, he had made a mistake, the wrong choice, and his personality developed in a way that prove to be humanity¡¯s doom when his laziness or anxiety prevented him from learning magic as fast as he ideally should have.

    Maybe we stopped too early for the day. It¡¯s not like I have something else to do. Although, Dan probably can¡¯t waste any more time helping me today. Which means I¡¯ll have to ask Sarah for help. Screw that! Why even bring her into this? She¡¯s already in the pits because of me. I¡¯m sure that I can find the help I need online. Just gotta¡ª

    ¡°Stop looking so down on yourself.¡± Dan clapped him on the back, saving him from a possible spiral. He was accompanying Sam back to Sam¡¯s dorm room in order to deposit every textbook and academic material that he had deemed necessary for Sam to have for the remainder of the school year. The rest, which were left with Dan, in his magical leg accessory that couldn¡¯t be very comfortable to wear, were for the subjects in which he was planning to teach him directly and that Sam was not to pursue on his own for the time being.

    ¡°I¡¯m not looking down,¡± Sam said. ¡°I was actually in the middle of comparing myself to one of my favorite comedians.¡±

    ¡°Then why do you look so glum?¡±

    ¡°Just thinking about how she''s dead and can no longer make the world a better place.¡±

    ¡°Huh huh. And your thoughts never wandered to criticizing yourself for the lesson we just had?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Why?¡± Sam¡¯s head snapped to face Dan¡¯s. ¡°You think there¡¯s stuff to be critical about? Should we have kept the lesson going a bit more in that case? Try to make up for my detriments with effort spent?¡±

    Dan laughed. ¡°See, I said you were down.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, no shit, I already knew that. I was just trying to hide my emotions like a man ought to do.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no reason for you to do that.¡± Dan tightened his hand, still on Sam¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Just like there¡¯s no reason for you to be downtrodden or to hold any misgivings about our lesson today. You did fine. You showcased clear intelligence, logical thinking and, most importantly, willingness to learn. If I had to judge whether you¡¯ll be able to make up this year in time for the next one based solely on your performance today, I¡¯d lean towards an affirmative answer. If you can bring the same energy and will into every lesson we¡¯re going to have together, and keep it for when you study by yourself, you¡¯re going to do just fine.¡± Dan lifted his hand but gave Sam¡¯s shoulder another clap before withdrawing it back to his side.

    Sam exhaled, willing the tension to start its flight from his body. It worked, somewhat. The problem was that he couldn¡¯t be completely assuaged by Dan¡¯s assurances. When push came to shove, neither Dan nor Lin, who gave him a similar enough evaluation yesterday, knew what he was measuring himself up to. The only ¡°person¡± who could judge Sam¡¯s progress and whether he was giving it the required amount of effort was his friendly neighborhood robotic mind squatter.

    ¡°That¡¯s great¡­¡± Sam moaned once he finished coming down on himself. ¡°So now all I need to do is to somehow manage to continue giving it my all each and every day. I guess it is a little better, though. We¡¯ve left the realms of me failing cause I¡¯m not smart enough to me failing cause of who I am.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s how it ought to be. Welcome to the reality where every single one of us has the potential of becoming the strongest person in the Web.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like this world. It¡¯s too Hobbesian for my liberal ways. Or is it not Hobbesian at all? The complete opposite, in fact?¡± Sam cupped his chin. ¡°Hmm¡­ that¡¯s worth some serious pondering. I thought about it a lot before, but obviously without the necessary empirical evidence to go on. Tsk. I¡¯m gonna have to table this for now though¡­ I don¡¯t think I have enough information yet. Yes¡­ What were we talking about? Never mind, I remember. So that¡¯s a no on continuing patterns lessons for today?

    ¡°Indeed. If you¡¯re feeling anxious to get something done. Feel free to start with the elven history books I gave you. That should keep you occupied for a while.¡±

    ¡°And after a while?¡±

    ¡°After is after. We¡¯ll see based on my final schedule and plan for your next two and a half months. Now.¡± He gestured to Sam¡¯s dorm building. ¡°We¡¯re going to put all the books in place and bid our farewells until tomorrow.¡± Sam nodded. They made plans to meet after breakfast, which he¡¯ll presumably be sharing with Sarah. Once inside his room, Dan was pretty much the sole person in charge of placing the books on the different open spaces available. That done, he bid the Sam good evening, leaving Sam to sit down on his bed and ponder his next move.

    He didn¡¯t have to let the battle between duty or pleasure rage on too long within his head because barely a minute after he sat down to decompress, his phone buzzed with an incoming call. ¡°Forgot to put it off vibrate,¡± he muttered, guessing correctly the caller¡¯s identity before even looking. ¡°Hello?¡±

    ¡°You done with Dan?¡± Sarah asked him.

    ¡°Hey that¡¯s almost a rhyme! Maybe it is one. I never was very good with the things.¡±

    ¡°So, I take it that you¡¯ve finished your lesson?¡±

    ¡°Would I be answering you if it wasn¡¯t the case?¡±

    ¡°Yes, of course, why not?¡±

    ¡°Cause I would have been in a middle of a private lesson.¡±

    ¡°How could I know that? What if your lesson was already over, but something happened to you after? Your default state should be always answering my calls.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a tough order. Best I can do is promise to text when I¡¯m indisposed. Might not be able to hold that promise, though. If any of the many thugs prowling around campus kidnap and gag me.¡±

    ¡°Sam!¡±

    ¡°What? Don¡¯t you remember what we just talked about a couple of hours ago?¡±

    ¡°That was then, and this is now¡ª¡±

    ¡°Evidently.¡±

    ¡°Never mind. We¡¯ll finish this later. So are you free now? We¡¯re supposed to meet for dinner, remember? You didn¡¯t eat already, did you?¡±

    ¡°Not without you there to chew my food for me, no.¡±

    ¡°Very funny. Meet me where we ate this morning. Yvessa and Felix should also be free, so I¡¯ll call them.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ but I was so looking forward to some mother-son time, just the two of us. No¡ª¡± Sarah hung up on him. ¡°Rude. Now we¡¯ll never know whether Yvessa and Felix are my siblings, cousins or aunt and uncle.¡± Shaking his head to clear the question from his mind, he got up to wash his face and made his way out of his room and towards the mess hall, opting to leave his headphones behind yet again.

    On the way there, he kept his mind busy while considering the matter of what to do with Sarah. While the jokes were good and all, he was seriously beginning to think that Sarah was going to have a panic attack one of these days on account of worrying about him. She really is like a first time mother forced to leave her baby behind. An image appeared in his mind, quickly followed by the episode¡¯s synopsis, but only with the knowledge that it was in the first half of the season. Hmm¡­ Used to be that I could name what happened in each and every episode just by their number. Don¡¯t know whether I should be feeling sad or happy that I can¡¯t anymore. Probably happy. It¡¯s healthier this way.

    So what should he do with Sarah? He could come at her directly, like he did with Dan. But maybe he shouldn¡¯t press her any further on this issue and hope that with time, she will begin to relax when it came to him. She was probably dealing with a lot of complex, and perhaps repressed emotions, and treating Sam like he was a newborn chick was helping her process them. At least that¡¯s what he hoped was happening. Because that would both prove beneficial to Sarah, while also putting a deadline on her exhibiting said behavior. He much preferred it to the alternative, of Sarah¡¯s behavior being self-debilitating and not going to come to a stop without outside intervention.

    Then again, where do I get off on psychoanalyzing someone else? Least of all, someone like Sarah. Just because we share the same cause of trauma doesn¡¯t mean that I understand what she¡¯s going through and why she acts a certain way. Matter of fact¡ª

    ¡°What got you all hunched down like this? Everything alright mate?¡± Sam straightened up, almost getting off the bench he sat on absentmindedly in order to wait for Sarah. Felix was standing above him with a concerned look on his face, while Yvessa made to sit next to him.

    ¡°Jesus, you scared the crap out of me,¡± Sam said a moment later. ¡°Where the hell did you come from?¡±

    ¡°Would it matter? You were starting straight down at the ground.¡±

    ¡°I was thinking. And you haven¡¯t answered my question.¡±

    ¡°Really? That makes the both of us.¡±

    ¡°What like twins? Ow, ow,¡± Yvessa pinched him on the shoulder. ¡°It was just a joke. I don¡¯t deserve that kind of treatment. Especially not after I went to bat for you guys with Dan regarding the nickname.¡±

    Yvessa narrowed her eyes at him, but still stroked his skin at and around the point of her attack as a way of apologizing. ¡°Now, who told you to do that?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. My conscience maybe? What, am I, some kind of robot without free will?¡±

    ¡°No. But you shouldn¡¯t have done that. It¡¯s between me and Dan, and whatever stupid mind games he¡¯s trying to run me through. Still, thanks.¡± She patted him on his arm before shifting back in her sit and stretching her legs and arms.

    ¡°Yeah, great,¡± Felix said. ¡°So is Dan the reason you were so mopey just now? Or did something else happen?¡±

    ¡°Leave him be Felix. He wasn¡¯t mopey.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I was just deep in thought. That was my thinking pose. Or one of them at least.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Felix wasn¡¯t convinced. ¡°Completely hunched over, head almost between thighs, both hands cupping your face? That was you thinking?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! It¡¯s a great position for when one wishes to foster deep contemplation. I discovered it while on the toilet, which in and of itself is one of the great facilitators of deep thought.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ Then sorry for scaring you, I guess. Thought you were crying or something¡­¡±

    ¡°Me? Cry? In public? Why father would flog me just for entertaining the notion.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. Next time, I¡¯ll think twice about trying to help you when I think you¡¯re down.¡±

    Sam held up his hands. ¡°No need to go that far. It¡¯s just that you surprised me, is all. I do very much appreciate this big brother act that you¡¯ve got going around right now. If someone had actually made me cry, would you have kicked their asses in return?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, big bro. Would you?¡± Yvessa widened her eyes.

    ¡°You know he¡¯s going to include you in the joke as well, right?¡± Felix asked her and Sam nodded to show his affirmation of the fact.

    ¡°And as long as Sarah isn¡¯t here, she¡¯ll be part as well,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Well, then you¡¯ve got like ten seconds to tell it because here she comes.¡± Felix pointed behind Sam at the approaching figure. Dare I? No, the joke isn¡¯t nearly funny enough to risk it.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    ¡°Hey guys, what¡¯s up?¡± Sarah hailed them once all heads turned her way.

    ¡°Felix was just in the middle of interrogating Sam about how he sits on the toilet.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°The fact that it isn¡¯t that far off from the truth is a little disturbing.¡±

    ¡°Now I¡¯m intrigued,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Hi intrigued. I¡¯m hungry. Can we move this conversation along while also grabbing some food?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I agree with hungry, intrigued,¡± Felix said. ¡°And he¡¯s not the only one who¡¯s hungry. Plus, some of us still have a workout waiting for us after dinner.¡±

    ¡°Why are you saying some of us? You can single me out if you want, that¡¯s totally fine. Just say, ¡®all of us who aren¡¯t weak little babies like Sam still have a workout to go to.¡¯¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m also forgoing exercise this evening,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°I have my biweekly call back home.¡±

    ¡°Cool, can I come?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll think about it¡­¡±

    ¡°Wait, you¡¯re not joining me like yesterday?¡± Sarah advanced upon Sam, but when she saw Felix¡¯s gaze, she pivoted and began walking into the mess hall with the three of them in tow.

    ¡°How exactly would that work?¡± Sam asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like I can run alongside you.¡±

    ¡°We can still hang out. Maybe I¡¯ll run sprints.¡±

    ¡°Or maybe,¡± Felix drawled, ¡°you¡¯ll just have to do without him for one evening.¡±

    ¡°Ooh¡­¡± Yvessa laughed. ¡°Someone jealous.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s what it is. I¡¯m jealous that Sarah tires to hog Sam all to herself.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam objected. ¡°I was going to make that joke.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t hog Sam,¡± Sarah said, completely missing the sarcasm in Felix¡¯s statement.

    ¡°That¡¯s really what you got from that?¡± Yvessa asked, causing Sarah to blink with confusion. The conversation was cut short at that point as each of them grabbed a tray and began organizing a dinner for themselves. Sam was happy to note that Sarah chose not to shadow him during the entire process, but the fact that she was right by his side when he finished up and began looking for a place to sit left the note a sour one.

    ¡°So, what did you talk about?¡± She asked him after they sat down, and before the other two had joined them.

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know at this point. Wasn¡¯t you if that¡¯s what you¡¯re worried about. I can tell you that much.¡±

    ¡°Why would I be worried about that?¡±

    ¡°Oh I don¡¯t know. Because being afraid that all of your friends actually hate you, and they just string you along for the hell of it, is the bread and butter of social anxiety? Speaking of which, how great is this bread and butter?¡± Sam happily gestured to the nice slice he was in the middle of preparing for ingestion.

    ¡°So you¡¯re going to keep avoiding my question?¡±

    ¡°I sincerely thought that we were already past that. Believe me, I don¡¯t use food as a conversation topic willy nilly, especially not when it¡¯s nice fine bread like this one.¡±

    ¡°Why are you caressing your bread like that?¡± Yvessa asked, while sitting down next to Sarah, opposite him.

    ¡°I just really really like bread.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I get that. I sometimes used to get up early in order to pass by the kitchen when they were in the middle of baking for the day. I would just stand in the corner and let the smell sink in.¡±

    Sam looked incredulously at Sarah, whose face mimicked his own bemusement. ¡°I think he was just joking, Yv,¡± Sarah gently told her, while at the same time letting Sam know that there was a nickname that Yvessa was comfortable with.

    Yvessa face warped in embarrassment as she turned back to regard Sam with growing anger in her eyes. Sam quickly held up his hands. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m with you. Sarah¡¯s got it wrong. I¡¯m just like you. Love that baking smell. Standing in the corner. All that shit. I used to do that as well. Back when I was losing my religion.¡± Yvessa reached forward, threating to harm the now laughing Sam who just couldn¡¯t control himself. Sarah who was half laughing herself, was timidly holding her back. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It just comes out of me. It¡¯s like a reflex.¡±

    ¡°What did you do now?¡± Felix asked with a smile while he sat down next to Sam. His plate heaped with food provided the reason for why he was so late to join them.

    ¡°I unraveled Yvessa¡¯s dark fetish,¡± Sam confided in him.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a fetish!¡± Yvessa almost spat from between clenched teeth, getting up halfway up from her chair. ¡°It¡¯s not a fetish,¡± she repeated quietly and sat back down. ¡°I just like the smell of fresh bread. There¡¯s nothing wrong with that.¡±

    ¡°Of course not,¡± Sarah assured her. ¡°Right Sam?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that? Sorry I was in the middle of looking up a clip. You¡¯ll like this one, Yvessa, kindred spirits, I¡¯ll say.¡±

    ¡°Felix, would you please slap him on the back of the head?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Can¡¯t do that, I¡¯m afraid. Sorry sis. Ow! Resorting to violence, is it? Send me that clip when you find it, won¡¯t you Sam?¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t do that, I¡¯m afraid. Sorry bro. That¡¯s up to Yvessa, whether she wants to share it.¡± Sam closed the app and put his phone back in his pockets. ¡°By the way. You guys did a bang-up job transferring the internet over from Earth. I couldn¡¯t find it at first and was getting really scared for a second, but luckily, data hoarding prevailed.¡±

    ¡°Good for you,¡± Yvessa said with a sour face as she looked at her phone. ¡°I¡¯ll watch it later,¡± she said despite of it. The table regained its calm at this point, at least until half a minute later when Sarah retold Yvessa¡¯s anecdote back to Felix in full, which caused him to break out in over the top exaggerated laughter. This time he apparently managed to evade Yvessa¡¯s stomp, and the two continued their bickering in a linearly diminishing scale.

    Once the fires of conflict completely died down, Sam decided to indulge his curiosity, and asked Yvessa, ¡°So, is your nickname only to be uttered by certain people, or is it more of a free for all?¡±

    Yvessa frowned. ¡°Again with the nickname? I told you that I¡¯ll handle Dan myself.¡±

    Sarah nudged her shoulder. ¡°I think he¡¯s talking about calling you Yv.¡±

    ¡°Come to think of it,¡± Felix piped up, ¡°I also never called you that. What gives?¡±

    ¡°Nothing,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Feel free to call me Yv if it pleases you so, my¡ª¡±

    ¡°It does. Thanks Yv,¡±

    ¡°my parents used to call that me when I was growing up, and still do in private sometimes.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like it,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t care if you like it or not.¡± Yvessa gave him a short stare.

    ¡°Wait, you got me wrong. I meant that I don¡¯t like that nickname for you¡ª¡±

    ¡°I got that, thank you.¡±

    ¡°If you would please let me finish, I assure my meaning will become clear and at most, you¡¯ll only be mildly insulted.¡± She turned over her hand to bid him to continue. ¡°I just meant that Eveessa is a cool name, much cooler than good old boring Eve. I mean, that¡¯s literally the second name ever, according to some sources.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not where the hell did you get that?¡±

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°A little book called Genesis, maybe? Like the band?¡±

    ¡°You talking about the Bible?¡±

    ¡°Technically,¡± Felix said, ¡°It¡¯s only the first half of the Bible.¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± Sam shook his head. ¡°That¡¯s not¡­ true at all. Only half of what you said is right. Switch ¡®half¡¯ with ¡®part¡¯ or maybe you should say ¡®book?¡¯ I don¡¯t know¡­¡±

    ¡°So?¡± Yvessa waved her fork at the two men sitting opposite her. ¡°My parents are barely even Buddhists. The only thing they taught me about religion is meditation. And it¡¯s not like I learned it at school.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you have religions and spiritual studies?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Not Terran ones. My private Terran tutors pretty much only taught me about Terran history, with some cultural aspects to go along with it. Besides, I¡¯m not on trial here. Why the hell would my name be in the Bible, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Not your name,¡± Sam said. ¡°Your nickname. It¡¯s the same as the name of the first woman according to the bible. That¡¯s why I said it was lame.¡±

    ¡°Sam¡­¡± Sarah said. ¡°Yvessa¡¯s name doesn¡¯t come from Eve.¡±

    ¡°Her nickname as well?¡±

    ¡°Of course not, and they¡¯re spelled completely differently. Also, sounds different.¡±

    ¡°Do they? So how the hell do you even spell her name?¡±

    ¡°With a Y,¡± Sarah told him.

    ¡°What?¡± Sam squeaked. ¡°That doesn¡¯t¡ªNo¡­ never mind, it makes sense. What do I know? I guess that I should be asking people how to spell their name from now on, especially if they¡¯re very foreign.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t say it like that,¡± Sarah said, not noticing the frown on Felix¡¯s face and smile on Yvessa¡¯s.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you see my name in English when Sarah sent you my contact details?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°When Sarah did what?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t send him our info?¡± Felix turned to Sarah with a smirk.

    ¡°I was going to!¡± She blushed. ¡°I meant to do that after working out, but I got distracted and forgot about it.¡±

    ¡°Likely story,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°It¡¯s true! Here, I¡¯ll send it right now.¡± She quickly took out her phone and only a moment later, Sam¡¯s chimed with an incoming message.

    Taking out his device, Sam scanned the contacts with a raised brow. ¡°Wow. She has you as proper people. Full name and everything, no context in sight.¡±

    ¡°As opposed to what?¡± Felix laughed.

    ¡°Felix academy. Or Sarah Taken for another example. You know, first name and context on how you met or know the person. That¡¯s how a civilized person behaves, at least.¡±

    ¡°Seems rather rude.¡±

    ¡°It is rude.¡± Sarah frowned. ¡°You seriously saved me as ¡®Sarah Taken?¡¯ That¡¯s awful!¡±

    Sam waved his hand at her. ¡°I got your full name. Don¡¯t get all riled up. Close friends get a full name or a comedic one if one applies. The whole point is that you¡¯re close enough to them that no context is necessary. That¡¯s just how it works.¡±

    ¡°In your mind maybe,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Judge not, lest it be ye who is judged first. Just for that little remark, you¡¯re going in with a spelling error or two.¡±

    She shrugged her shoulders. ¡°You already spelled my name wrong in your head¡­¡±

    ¡°Which, as we¡¯ve already covered, was completely Sarah¡¯s fault. I would never purposefully misspell someone¡¯s name (if there wasn¡¯t a bit to be had). Anyway, I guess the world truly has changed if people abandoned the context based naming system. Will be hard to adjust.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll manage, Sam Taken.¡± Felix clapped him on the back.

    The rest of the dinner pass uneventfully, with the conversation mostly composed of Sarah grilling Sam on his lesson with Dan. And when that was over, she gave him the same motivational spiel as Dan did. Talking about how hard it was for her to do at first, and how much harder it must be for him even. She also, contradictorily, assured him that he will master the subject in no time while also volunteering her¡¯s and (without asking for permission) Felix¡¯s and Yvessa¡¯s aid. And while both readily agreed, their affirmation of the universality of Sam¡¯s experience was lacking compared to Sarah. Their opinion also further diverged when Felix mentioned that he was sure Sam would be fine, in contrast to Yvessa, who thought that Sam ought to spend more effort and time if he was having problems with his studies.

    ¡°And that¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m planning to go do now,¡± Sam said, trying to draw Sarah¡¯s scowl away from Yvessa.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you just say that Dan told you not to study patterns on your own?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Right. I meant that I¡¯ll be studying elven history with what remains of the day.¡±

    ¡°Oughtn¡¯t you take it a bit easier?¡± Sarah¡¯s face warped into worry. ¡°You¡¯ve pretty much studied all day already, in one form or another.¡±

    ¡°You call what we did studying?¡± Yvessa laughed.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± Sam assured Sarah. ¡°Besides, I like history. And much more importantly, I¡¯m good at learning it. This¡¯ll be more like a leisure activity than a work one. Also, I¡¯m deathly afraid of the fact that you guys have this whole arsenal of common references and knowledge than I¡¯m not privy to, and I¡¯m not gonna be the Joey of this group!¡±

    Yvessa raised her eyebrow ¡°So what? We can¡¯t talk about stuff that you don¡¯t know anything about? Isn¡¯t that all you do?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t I already tell you this was gonna be this way¡±¡ªhe clapped in rapid succession¡ª¡°in the morning?¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t mean that I agreed to it.¡±

    ¡°Well here¡¯s the deal, Yv¡­¡± he said in his most condescending voice. ¡°Men have certain privileges over women. Straight over gay. Taken versus not. Etc... And seeing as I¡¯m all these things and all three of you are found wanting more than one of these departments, that grants me a certain¡­ status, shell we say? With which I¡¯m allowed to dictate some of the social rules and behavioral guidelines of our friend group.¡±

    ¡°What about in combat ability? Cause I¡¯m pretty sure that I¡¯ll still be able to kick your ass even if I started liking women.¡± Sam silently pointed at Sarah in response, the dumb face he adopted speaking volumes.

    ¡°OK,¡± Felix interrupted them. ¡°We¡¯re going to go now.¡± He stood up and was forced to go over and to lift Sarah when she didn¡¯t. ¡°We have an exercise to get to after all.¡± Although she seemed reticent to part so soon, Sam was happy-sour to note that Sarah left with no further delay once she reaffirmed that Sam knew to wait for them to finish their workout tomorrow so that they¡¯ll eat breakfast together.

    ¡°That went smoother than I expected,¡± Sam remarked to Yvessa while looking at the departing figures of Sarah and Felix.

    ¡°Did you think she was going to force you to come and watch them run?¡±

    ¡°That was the main worry. Either that or that she was going to decide that I needed someone to read to me from a history textbook.¡±

    ¡°You can if you want, you know? They have all the official textbooks on audio.¡±

    ¡°Really? Nah, that¡¯s alright. I¡¯ve never been the books on tape kind of guy. Especially not after the accident.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be. He wrote some really great books once he got better.¡±

    ¡°What? Who did?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about, it¡¯s a recurring joke. It¡¯ll make sense to the readers.¡±

    ¡°Are you going crazy? Do I need to call Sarah back?¡±

    ¡°You sound like an older sister who¡¯s threating to call Mom on her younger sibling¡ªOh, how abusive are the average parents nowadays? Did it move on completely to only mental abuse, or does physical abuse still happen sometimes? I need to know for a joke.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think parents hitting their children is particularly funny.¡±

    ¡°Neither do I! But you¡¯d be surprised. Some kids think that it¡¯s OK that their mother threw flip-flops at them. Hell, they even make jokes about. Although, that might simply be a coping mechanism. Who knows?¡±

    ¡°Your parents never¡­ did they?¡± Yvessa worried tone indicated that she was taking Sam too seriously once again.

    ¡°Oh, no no. And hey, if they did, then I must have really repressed it. Like, we¡¯re talking way way down, buried so deep that even years of therapy didn¡¯t even hint at unmasking it. And at that point, am I really affected by what happened to me when I was a kid? Does it really even matter?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Right, of course it does. Luckily, I had a perfectly healthy childhood. Or, you can view it as unlucky cause now I don¡¯t have anything that I can process as the reason for why I am the way I am...¡± Sam turned downcast for dramatic effect, but when Yvessa didn¡¯t volunteer any response, he turned back to her. ¡°You know, you don¡¯t have to keep me company, right? Matter of fact, we both already finished eating so we can happily part ways. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    Yvessa snorted. ¡°I¡¯m not Sarah. I¡¯m not here to keep an eye on you. But I still have almost half an hour before my call is scheduled, and it¡¯s only a fifteen-minutes walk. And I don¡¯t mind spending those with you.¡±

    ¡°Cool. In that case, would you mind spending those while walking me to my dorms? Cause I hadn¡¯t brought my headphones with me, and I would like to use you for your entertainment values.¡±

    ¡°Wow¡­. if you put it like that, how can I refuse?¡± And yet the fact that she made no move towards standing up hinted to Sam that she might have been slightly sarcastic.

    ¡°Please?¡±

    She smiled and stood up. ¡°Manners haven¡¯t changed after all, huh?¡±

    Sam followed her example. ¡°I¡¯d agree with you. If only the fact that pretty much everyone I met and spoke to up to now has been able to stomach my behavior didn¡¯t mean that they have only improved with the passing of time.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re not that bad.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam¡¯s voiced was pitched a couple of octaves higher. She pointedly ignored him while she made her way out of the building.

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter even if you were,¡± She said once they were outside under the now starry sky. ¡°You¡¯re allowed to act out for a while after what happened to you. Now behaving like your normal self, that would be an actual cause for concern.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°How do you know that this isn¡¯t my normal self?¡±

    ¡°Because it can¡¯t be? Not while your mind is getting used to the effects of magic. I know what Taken go through, and adult ones even more so because before meeting Sarah, I had no reason to be reading about the modern Taken.¡±

    ¡°And the mental influence is that evident in what you¡¯ve read?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah. There¡¯s this autobiography of a Taken, a thirty-three old by the name of Wallid¡ªdon¡¯t remember his last name¡ªwho wrote that he was contemplating suicide daily before being taken. He said that the only reason he stopped himself, the one time he was closest to going through with it, was that he didn¡¯t want to leave his cat alone. After he was returned, his cat was long dead, and he found himself in the middle of the war and yet he said that the suicidal thoughts were nowhere to be found. For the first two months. Once the magic ran out, they were right back where they were.¡±

    ¡°Jesus, that¡¯s bleak. What ended up happening to him?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have told you the story if it had a bad ending. He survived the war, becoming a Ruler even. That¡¯s what he¡¯s most famous for. But according to him, he was most proud of his public speaking roles concerning his struggles with mental health, and helping to create the modern Terran mental health system and support line.¡±

    ¡°Did he ever get another cat?¡± Sam asked wistfully.

    ¡°He did. A couple of them.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s nice. I¡¯d love a cat right about now.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, so would I. We never had any of our own growing up, but Larsus is filled with cats, both stray and household, so that there always was one in arm¡¯s reach if you wanted some feline interaction. But there¡¯s barely any strays in Terran cities, not the speak of this barren campus.¡±

    ¡°That sucks. Ask your family to pet some cats for the both of us, then.¡±

    ¡°I will,¡± she promised him before bidding him goodnight. They were already at his dorm building.

    Climbing up the stairs, Sam tried to shake the melancholy of Yvessa¡¯s story out of his head. He didn¡¯t know whether it was the promise that he¡¯s going to be feeling worse in a couple of months or just the fact that he really missed his cat, but he couldn¡¯t get the image of the Taken Wallid out of his mind. He kept coming back to the fact that the guy had to struggle straight away in an honest to god apocalypse while in comparison, Sam was thrust into the lap of luxury.

    I just don¡¯t know if I can fucking do this.

 Chapter 42

    Stepping into his room with that black mental cloud hanging over him. Sam decided to leave the studying alone for until after he got the rest of his nightly duties squared away with. Luckily, he had to foresight to begin curating both of his more function specific playlists while working on the overall one, so he left his phone to play on the bathroom sink while he stepped into the shower for some calming warmth. In his haste, he forgot to bring his toothbrush and toothpaste with him, so he had to step out and grab them. He could have just finished his shower and brushed separately, but since no one warned of him not to over-consume water, he saw no reason to let go of this one particular vice of his.

    Once outside, he donned on his bathrobe, turned off the music and sat in the chair for his second meditation of the day. Surprisingly, he found his focus easily controlled and directed at his breathing¡ªdespite the state of his mind prior to the meditation¡ªwith no mental picture of Taken struggling to preserve the dying earth passed through it. He felt markedly better after the meditation was over. And before he could use that as a reason for further worry, he quickly dressed before turning his attention towards the books laid on his desk.

    Back in his university days, all those hundred and some years ago, he would have never entertained the prospect of studying so late in the day. It wasn¡¯t just a matter of laziness, although sloth did play a large part in his decision-making process, but also the fact that he was never able to keep focus long enough to make the late effort worthwhile. And what¡¯s worse, knowing that he was also going to study later in the evening, made his studying during the day much less effective.

    This isn¡¯t to say that he never finished a paper shortly before the midnight deadline struck. Or that he never made a last ditch effort at memorizing a course¡¯s three-year-old (and hopefully still relevant) summary. But all those late night efforts were done only as a last resort. Never once did he plan to be studying when he should have instead been winding down before sleep. Even his ideal version of himself wasn¡¯t so studious as to dedicate time for the activity so late after the sun¡¯s departure.

    All of this meant, as ridiculous as that sounded, that this was his first real test for what will be required of him in the days ahead. He not only had to break a habit, or more correctly, compensate for the complete lack of one. But he also had to go against his very own worldview for what his life should look like. Gone was the classic laborist slogan of ¡®eight, eight and eight.¡¯ If duty demanded it, there will be no leisure to be had for Sam Anders. And if magic allowed it, sleep would be cut in a most utilitarian fashion. No, from now on, Sam Anders was to dedicate his whole being, body and soul, heart and mind, to whatever was required of him in order to be able to fulfill his AI assigned role. And if reading why the first war in recorded elven history came about because of dietary differences was what was required of him, then so be it.

    Side note here, he really didn¡¯t appreciate the textbook making the jump straight to the Bass Wars while leaving further inspection of early elven civilization to the chapters ahead. Sure, the war provided a simple overview of the most dominate political factions, demographic differences, and geographical considerations for the region, which, at the time, held the greatest concentration of elven life by an enormous margin. But he didn¡¯t agree with the authors¡¯ argument for choosing to analyze the historical and cultural developments separately. It was plain to see that their intent was to paint a holistic picture of what pre-unification elven society looked liked. Probably in an effort to water down the course¡¯s difficulty and match up with the erroneous view that most Terrans held about the homogeneity of elven culture.

    At least, that¡¯s what the message which Yvessa sent him read. Sam was nowhere near able to make that assessment with just a couple dozen pages of the book under his belt. And while he still held his opinion at bay, with the major exception that he very much disagreed with the author¡¯s decision to separate anthropology into its own later chapters, Yvessa¡¯s words did make some sense to him based on what he read so far. The textbook read too similar to the methodology he was familiar with from nation-based history books, rather than the worldwide history books that this was supposed to be like.

    But whatever the case may be, he made good progress. Perhaps it was the duty laid upon him, pushing him forward. Or maybe it was the threat that said duty represented¡ªso dire that even a complete hedonist would be forced into action¡ªwhich kept pricking his mind whenever it sought to waver. Maybe it was his new chemically optimal body, and the magic coursing through his mind that made sitting down and focusing so much easier than before. But, if it was up to him, he would have laid the wreath at the feet of a completely different reason. For while all the others did provide an explanation for why he was able to keep going, they didn¡¯t explain why he was having a good time. No, the reason for that was that the material pretty much combined the two most favorite topics for Sam to read about. It was a (hopefully unbiased as possible) retelling of past geopolitical events, so it was history in its most bombastic sense. But it also had magic and elves, so it was fantasy.

    All in all, the textbook served a perfect foray with which to embark upon his scholastic journey in New Point Academy. And a perfect follow-up to his actual first foray: patterns study. Now, he could go to sleep with the comfort of knowing that he wasn¡¯t a total idiot and that hopefully there were students who had just as much trouble as he did with patterns, but were also completely hopeless in the historical courses. Yes, there was nothing like comparing yourself to someone you saw as lesser in order to make one feel good about one¡¯s self.

    ¡°Looks like you¡¯re making good progress.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ!¡± Sam jumped in his seat, his knee awkwardly banging against the table. ¡°Fuck!¡± He caressed his wounded appendage. ¡°Give us a warning next time, will you? You scared the hell out of me.¡±

    ¡°Our apologies. But there is currently no other way for us to communicate with you except in this single manner,¡± said the robotic voice of Web-Web in his mind.

    ¡°Yeah, figured as much.¡± Sam sighed and pushed the chair away from the table, leaning back and stretching his legs. ¡°So what¡¯s up? Any more exposition bombs for you to drop on me?¡±

    ¡°We do not know what that means. Our objective in tethering ourselves to you is to aid you in integrating to magic in the most efficient way in order to build up your strength so that it could match your future role.¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ But why are you here now?¡±

    ¡°We were under the impression that our assistance was required. Do you mean to say that you have no need for dialogue with us?¡±

    ¡°Hell no! I mean to say that I already tried asking for you yesterday, and since you didn¡¯t answer then, and didn¡¯t contact me today up till now, I¡¯m left wondering what the hell is the logic behind the timing of our ¡®dialogues?¡¯¡±

    ¡°There is currently no constant underlying mechanism. If it was up to us, we would not have made further contact after our first interaction for a longer period of time. But, seeing as you¡¯ve proven yourself to be prone to self-doubt, and unwilling to wait until a more efficient time in which to ask us your questions, some of which we believe have no bearing on the chances for your success, we have decided to regular contact would be unfortunately required.¡±

    ¡°Wow¡­ careful with that passive aggressiveness there, buddy. You almost made me feel bad for asking questions of the mysterious being who decided to kidnap me a hundred years into the future. What the hell do you mean, unnecessary questions?¡±

    ¡°That is not what we said. We spoke of questions that¡ª¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m know what you said! Contrary to appearances, I¡¯m not completely socially inept. I was just paraphrasing.¡±

    A pause. ¡°Understood. We would endeavor to familiarize ourself with the many aspects of conversing with other beings at an accelerated pace. It is not you who is socially inept but us, as we had not considered mastery in such an endeavor necessary prior to our first interaction with you.¡±

    ¡°Well if there¡¯s one ¡®aspect¡¯ you don¡¯t need to worry about it¡¯s passive-aggressiveness. You¡¯d be putting an old grandma to shame.¡±

    ¡°That is unfortunate since we have made no effort and possessed no intention of expressing ourself in what we believe to be the meaning of the term you have just used.¡±

    ¡°Clearly. Never mind that. Go back to your assertion of my questions being useless. Care to make an example? Just so I¡¯ll know with what not to waste your time.¡±

    ¡°Very well. But it is not just questions and our efforts in answering them which are robbing us of precious time. This whole conversation, up to and including this point, is, in our opinion, unnecessary in order for you to fulfill your objective of saving the Web.¡±

    ¡°Would go a hell of a lot faster if you just gave me a straight answer. What questions are unnecessary?¡±

    A short pause. ¡°If we have made offense, we apologize. Such was¡ª¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t. I just want to know the answer.¡±

    ¡°Very well. First of all, this question we are currently answering you is not relevant, in our opinion of course. Another example is the question with which you started with when you asked us the logic behind our timing of our conversations with you.¡±

    ¡°Which you still haven¡¯t answered, by the way.¡±

    A pause. ¡°We haven¡¯t? Do you wish as to further elaborate on the subject? Or should be keep listing examples?¡±

    ¡°Jesus,¡± Sam muttered while rubbing his forehead. ¡°It¡¯s like I¡¯m talking to a¡­ never mind. Just give me another example so I¡¯ll know how to comment on your assertion and then we¡¯ll go back to the matter of your schedule.¡± He kept thinking of Web-Web like they were a smart, functional, and socially experienced sapient being. But the evidence pointing to the contrary kept piling up, as indicated by the fact that the AI didn¡¯t even raise a single objection to the stupid name he had given them. He had to change his method of speaking to Web-Web, otherwise their time was truly going to be wasted.

    ¡°Very well. Another example is in you seeking knowledge that should be readily available to you in the coming years. Such as your requests of us to teach you magic from our previous conversation.¡±

    ¡°Ah ah, sure.¡± Sam had to bite his tongue to keep his naturally occurring sarcastic remark from being spilled forth. Treat them like a kid, Sam, like a kid. A kid with a really good vocabulary. But on the bright side, one without emotions or the ability to overwork their vocal chords. ¡°Putting that aside for now. I happen to believe that knowing the logic which stands behind your decision to speak to me today and not, for example, yesterday does have an effect on my ability to fulfill my¡­ role. If, in the unimaginable event that I want the answer to some question, say how to become a Ruler, but there will be no one nearby who is able to provide me with the information I require, don¡¯t you think knowing how to contact you would prove very important at that time?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Which is why we advise minimizing our contact when there is no critical information that you require from us.¡±

    Sam grit his teeth. ¡°Two problems. One, without asking you, I have no way of determining what information is critical and what isn¡¯t. Also, something that you might not consider critical, such as the very subject of our current discussion, I might consider quite crucial. Secondly, you still haven¡¯t made clear the logic behind your initiating of conversation, and thus even in the case that we both agree that I should reach out to you, I might not be able to do so due to your circumstances forbidding it.¡±

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    ¡°If we limit ourself to minimal contact, such a scenario would not happen.¡±

    ¡°Why not?! Hu¡­ Alright¡­ Look, I¡¯ll try to make what I¡¯m asking very clear. First, why did you not contact me yesterday, and only today? Two, why did you only make contact with me now, matter of fact, why do you always wait until night? Is it your own choice or is the choice imposed upon you? Three, what is the barrier preventing you from keeping a constant contact with me? You mentioned your energy in the past. Is it a pool of energy like the core? Does it regenerate, and if it does, when?¡±

    ¡°Very well. Your line of inquiry is clearer to us now. In answer to your first: our logic was that in order to minimize energy spent on making contact, we would limit our conversations to once every couple of days. Two days ago, we have reached out to you in order to calm your still troubled mental state. And today we have reached out to you in order to appraise you of your progress as you have requested of us. We also recognize the fact that you still possess questions for which we have yet to provide an answer and we have sought to address some of them in the time remaining in today¡¯s interaction. The answer to your second point is simple: we chose this time of day and location in order to minimize the possibility of other people overhearing you. As for your third line of inquiry¡­ we advise you to relinquish its pursuit for now. A complete and satisfactory answer would involve breadths of knowledge and experience to which you are not yet privy to.¡±

    Sam snorted. ¡°I might not know how electricity works, but I sure as hell understand the concept of a battery. Now try again. Do you have your own pool of energy from which you withdraw the power to contact me, or do you draw it from me?¡±

    ¡°Neither¡­ Perhaps both. It is hard to put it in terms you would understand.¡±

    ¡°The energy you used today. Where did it come from?¡±

    ¡°If we had to assign it to one of the two categories you proposed, it would be the first one. But that is a great oversimplification, and it is not at all very accurate¡ª¡±

    ¡°Never mind that. You have a certain amount of energy in storage that doesn¡¯t depend on me, is that correct?¡±

    ¡°Not completely.¡±

    ¡°How come?¡±

    ¡°Your body, everyone¡¯s body, naturally releases magical energy into¡­ the world.¡±

    ¡°And instead of the world getting to enjoy my carbon emissions, you siphon them to yourself, to your abstract source of energy?¡±

    ¡°In a way.¡±

    ¡°And how does the amount of magic you¡¯re getting from me compare to the amount you already have?¡±

    ¡°It is minuscule¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah it is, but I was talking about¡ªshit, sorry, forget about that. Will it grow as I get stronger? Higher level, higher magical pollution?¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡±

    ¡°And isn¡¯t there a way for you to get more energy out of me? Or maybe from someone else? Through me?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± the voice in his head hadn¡¯t changed its volume or pitch, but still Sam could feel the difference between the current ¡°scream¡± he heard and Web-Web¡¯s usual monotone tone. ¡°That is to say, it would be most unwise even were it possible.¡±

    Sam decided not the push the AI any further on this line of inquiry and turned his mind towards the trying to understand the math that guided their logic. ¡°So, I think I got it, but correct me if I say anything that¡¯s wrong. Scratch that, only if it¡¯s something conceptually wrong. Let¡¯s try and assign a value to the amount of energy available to you. Say you have a hundred units of energy in your figurative bank, OK? You get from me some tiny amount every day, which is minuscule for now that we¡¯ll call X. I have two questions then, in the future, say when I¡¯m level 10, how much would X equal? And today, how much energy did you spend in order to contact me and will it always cost that same amount?¡±

    ¡°Your first question is impossible to answer. But a rough estimation¡­ Would probably set the variable as a hundredth of a unit out of the hundred you arbitrarily assigned.¡± Sam grimaced, but held his tongue. That wasn¡¯t so bad, necessarily. ¡°For your second question¡­ it is impossible to provide you with an accurate answer but we estimate that we had to use around two percent of our magical reserve in order to contact you today with another two allocated in order to maintain the contact for maximizing its purpose. And no, the amount it costs us to contact you is unfortunately not constant, but we can say no more about that at this time.¡±

    ¡°Great¡­ that¡¯s just¡­ great. And here I am wasting what¡¯s tantamount to more than a year of my future self because I can¡¯t think of anything else but how fucked this makes me.¡± He channeled out his frustration out through his head and onto the top of the chair.

    ¡°Fear not. We have, or more correctly, the full version of ourselves, already calculated for such an occasion. About twenty-five percent of the energy available to us as of merging with you was allocated for miscellaneous use. That figure doesn¡¯t include our first contact with you, which had a preset purpose, and which, despite unforeseen difficulties, was completed even then. Thus, despite our more frequent than planned interactions, we are still operating within safe parameters.¡±

    ¡°Great¡­¡± Sam exhaled and slumped down in the chair. He could almost feel the beginning of a panic attack happening, although judging by how the tightness in his chest was already slipping away, his magic addled body and/or brain were going to come up on top this time. ¡°So I¡¯m guessing that this means that we should cut this meeting short then no? Save us much as we can if there¡¯s nothing that you don¡¯t have to talk to me about.¡±

    ¡°No yet. We have allocated two percent in order to maintain this conversation. ¡®Cutting it short¡¯ would prove ineffective in the long run considering we still haven¡¯t addressed the reason for our meeting today and our developing belief that you would require contact of a more frequent nature.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great. I always wanted a robo-therapist. Still, I would ask of you to make more stringent use of your energy pool from now on. You¡¯re the only one that knows when your presence is truly required. Me? I¡¯m just a crybaby. I was just going to use you as a crutch to tell me if I¡¯m working myself hard enough. That¡¯s not a very prudent use of your time. I should just work as hard as I can, as long as I can.¡±

    ¡°It is true that allocating everything at your disposal to your training would be the ideal circumstance. But we have already held the opinion, which as only strengthened as a result of our interactions with you, that mortal beings cannot continuously perform to the limits of their capabilities. Therefore, we are going to reserve the position of judge regarding your performance that you have allocated to us.

    ¡°And on this note, we must inform you that you have no reason to feel the worry that you¡¯ve exhibited in the last two days. So far, you have acted above the minimum we have designed. Furthermore, we have also come to the conclusion that it is highly unlikely that in our initial assessments for you, we did not take the quality of education you would receive here into account. So that, despite not possessing an accurate understanding of your importance, the teaching individuals at this academy will both be able to provide you with sufficient training, while at the same time appraising you themselves of whether you are putting in the correct amount of effort.¡±

    ¡°OK then, you¡¯re the boss. I¡¯m leaving the decision whether to contact me at your hands. I mean¡­ you got I meant, right?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Good... Damn. It just goes to show you how mentally dried I am that I can¡¯t even come up with a joke about that. Almost didn¡¯t recognize anything was wrong with what I said.¡±

    ¡°We still haven¡¯t addressed the reason for today¡¯s conversation.

    ¡°Right¡­ which is?¡±

    ¡°First. You wished to speak to us yesterday after your combat training.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Oh, right, yeah! They¡¯re teaching me to fight we a spear and not with a sword. Don¡¯t know why I particularly want a sword. Actually, yes I do¡ªdoesn¡¯t matter. Is training with a spear the right choice for me?¡±

    ¡°It is not the wrong choice for you. We do not hold any opinion as to which weapon you should be trained in, or for that matter, which form of combat you are to employ, only which you should not. That leads us to believe that as long as you are not making a wrong choice in this aspect, all other choices are of equal utility in the long run. Thus, and after judging the arguments you were given to why you should train with a spear to be accurate enough, we see no reason to advise against it.¡±

    ¡°So I really won¡¯t end up a weaker version of myself in the long run because I fight with a spear and not a sword?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    Sam snapped his fingers with a happy, relaxed grin on his face. ¡°That¡¯s good. One less thing to worry about. It was a legitimate reason to worry, right? Actually¡ª¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°don¡¯t answer that¡­ So I¡¯m good with the spear choice then. Is everything else good as well? I¡¯m up to spec? How am I with learning about magic? I¡¯m really shit at patterns so far.¡±

    ¡°We have no concerns in the area.¡±

    ¡°Performed up to snuff, then? Didn¡¯t spend too much time talking with Felix and Yvessa then? Or when doing other things that¡¯s not studying?¡±

    ¡°We have no concerns about your conduct.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to.¡± Sam laughed. ¡°Shit, why did I have to say that? Now I feel bad. Whatever, how close are we on time? Anything else I should know about? Maybe something I forgot to ask?¡±

    ¡°Only you can determine that. Our next planned interactions are still far away.¡±

    Sam clapped his hands. ¡°So I¡¯m free to go? Or more like, are you free to go? Don¡¯t want you to overdraft or have to put in more quarters, you know?¡±

    ¡°We do not. If you do indeed have nothing more pressing that you wish to convey to us than we are satisfied with terminating contact at this point.¡± The AI stopped speaking right after, which made Sam think that conversation time was over and provided a legitimate reason for why he got scared by the same thing twice in one night. ¡°However,¡± Web-Web continued out of nowhere, ¡°we believe that it is highly likely, almost a certain guarantee, that you will wake up tomorrow able to sense magic. And as such, we wish to argue against you of the advice you have received on the matter¡ª¡±

    ¡°So my head is in danger of blowing up?¡±

    ¡°It is not. Just as the individual Maurice has told you, there is no danger of an adverse reaction after a Taken¡¯s Awakening. The points of difference between you and other Taken, such as our rebuilding of you body without a core, will not affect this in the slightest. We were speaking of the advice you were given to keep your eyes closed at all times. You would be best served by doing the opposite. Trying to keep your eyes open for as long as you can. Based on past observations, you would probably not be able to do it for so long, but whatever you mange will be of great help to you in the long run.¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°Yeah sure. I¡¯ll try to hold on for us long as I can. Wait, what do you mean you were the one behind me being remade without a core? That was on purpose?¡±

    ¡°Of course. It was cheaper to let your core form by itself than to complete the process ourselves like we do for all other Taken.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s insane! I almost died.¡±

    ¡°We are quite aware of what transpired. Which is why we have scheduled you to be returned the day after the military unit guarding the portals received its new medic. We have judged that the chances of the previous healer stationed there being able to help you as only ninety-eight percent. It was an unfortunate but necessary delay. We could not take that risk.¡±

    ¡°Otherwise you would have slotted me back before the school year began?¡±

    ¡°Probably.¡±

    ¡°Then why not just send me a couple of years¡ªNo, forget I asked that. We don¡¯t have time for that. Anything else you wanted me to know besides that I¡¯m gonna wake up tomorrow with magic in my veins?¡±

    ¡°The magic was already within you. You would just be able to sense it tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°I get it. So the only thing I need to do in order to understand why everyone keeps telling me that magic is intuitive is to go to sleep? That¡¯s usually a tall order for me, but lately I¡¯ve been having no trouble with the task for some reason. Of course, up until now, there wasn¡¯t a reason for me to be particularly excited about the next day or particularly anxious about falling asleep. What happens if I can¡¯t fall asleep?¡±

    ¡°You would not be able to sense magic. Sleep is required for your mind to complete the process of Awakening.¡±

    ¡°Yep¡­ I knew that that¡¯s what you were going to say and yet I asked anyway. Real good job telling me about tomorrow then. What are the chances I¡¯m going to have trouble falling asleep now?¡±

    ¡°Very low. We have spent considerable effort making sure all your hormones are properly balanced when we rebuilt you. Goodnight.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, good night.¡± Sam sighed and waited anxiously to see whether the AI would pop up once again. He wasn¡¯t going to let himself get got three times in a row. Luckily, it seemed that this time Web-Web was gone for good. At least until their rapidly developing social brain decided that Sam needed the comfort of their visits. Hopefully next time we could spend less time walking in circles and not waste so much of their energy. Why am I talking like it¡¯s not my fault? It¡¯s completely my fault. The guy¡¯s a literal five days old robot.

    ¡°What time is it?¡± Sam groaned while turning over his phone. It was not quite his bedtime. Still plenty of time to cram some more elven knowledge into his own still developing (for more years) brain. But on the other hand¡­ he was tired. And considering it might take him extra long today to fall asleep, some prudence might be found in going to bed early. But would that mean taking it easy on himself? Shouldn¡¯t he make use of as much of the day as he possibly could? In the end, he figured that he might as well finish the chapter he was reading (after making sure that it¡¯s not too many pages to its ending).

    Once all was said and done, he settled down in his bed, closed his eyes and willed sleep to come. And what do you know? It turned out that balanced melatonin output wasn¡¯t the only thing required for a person to fall asleep easily. Turns out the waking mind has ideas of its own and if it had something it wanted to focus about, it kept you up. And so, Sam¡¯s thoughts kept drifting from the long ass day he just had, to the day ahead and, more importantly, to how the hell was he going to manage to fall asleep. His last thought before succumbing to the Sandman¡¯s allure was that it was really annoying how easy it was for him to fall asleep nowadays.

 Chapter 43

    His first thought once waking up, however, was that old habits die hard and that waking up feeling like a piece of shit was back on the menu. He wasn¡¯t completely cognizant at this point; the alarm had yet to ring, and he was still at the precipice between wakefulness and sleep. The naturalizing effects of his dreamless sleep on his thoughts kept being disrupted by an almost alien feeling that was making its way through his body. In a way, it was a complete inversion of his past struggle with vivid dreams. Now, it was the slumbering mind, holding the remnants of the night¡¯s sleep, that kept its familiarity, comforting him with a vision of reality that was unchanged. In contrast, it was now his waking mind that made him feel like he didn¡¯t know what was up and what was down, pulling him into a version of reality that felt completely foreign to him.

    Still, like in most occurrences of half wakefulness, the line between reality and fallacy, whatever it may be, could only keep its blurriness as long as the scale between the two stayed balanced. In the end, it was the alarm finally ringing next to Sam¡¯s head that brought the equilibrium crashing down and lurched him completely into consciousness and reality.

    And boy, how he wished it hadn¡¯t.

    It wasn¡¯t fun for the first feeling of the day to be a splitting headache. It was much less fun when that headache was accompanied by what Sam could only describe as going downhill on a roller coaster, only without the nausea that should have been there. Although, the lack of nausea was compensated by the mental equivalent: total intellectual dizziness on account that he couldn¡¯t even begin to pinpoint the source of the feeling running around his body. Luckily, or unluckily considering his prerogative from yesterday, he felt like he could reasonably attribute a concrete cause for his blaring headache: The innumerable lines of color that stretched out before his half-opened eyes, each somehow carrying with it meanings that did Sam¡¯s primate¡¯s head in when it immediately began trying to comprehend them.

    Hoping to regain some semblance of feeling in control, he stated the obvious, ¡°The weird part must be what magic feels like. The painful part must be threads. Oh god I hope it¡¯s the threads at least.¡± There was no way normal people¡¯s Awakening was this painful and that he hadn¡¯t heard about it. But of course it was the threads. Dan warned him that it was going to hurt and that he was advised to keep his eyes closed. Web-Web said the same thing, except that they suggested Sam should try and struggle through the pain as much as possible and keep his eyes open. But they also said to stop when he couldn¡¯t take it anymore, and Sam was pretty fucking sure he was way past that point.

    Groaning, he closed his eyes and covered them with his left hand, to further block the outside. He almost felt like it wasn¡¯t enough. Like whatever his eyes were seeing, they could still somehow see it through the two layers blocking their vision. More troubling was that the sensation that he could also feel whatever it was that he was seeing, almost smell and hear it as well. The headache lessened but still persisted, the flashing images and half-formed concepts still ringed through his head. He almost found himself beginning to wish to go back to that senseless void where Web-Web had first kept him.

    Now what? he asked himself. The threat of being overwhelmed with sensations was still present, but muted. With his eyes closed twice over, that was it for what he was told to do during his Awakening as a Thread-Weaver. That brought his thoughts back to the other new experience, ever present, much less painful but still just as puzzling. Magic¡­ What I was supposed to do with that? Right¡­ call Maurice. The fucking protocol.

    He focused on his right hand, slowly scouting for his blaring phone in order to silence it and make the call. None too late¡ªor none too soon, considering now there was no noise to keep him distracted¡ªhe clicked off the alarm and was left with a useless rectangle in his hand. Right, calling someone would require him to open his eyes, which was out of the question. It took him a couple of seconds, during which he kept batting his focus away from whatever it was that was making its way around his body while also not being there at all, before he finally remembered that phone makers had already designed something which was most useful for the blind despite them not being the intended audience.

    ¡°Assistant, call Maurice.¡± He laid his head back on the pillow with a low moan once the phone¡¯s chime and the subsequent beep confirmed that the call had come through.

    ¡°Yes, Sam?¡± Sounded Maurice¡¯s voice once the call connected. The call wasn¡¯t on speaker, so Sam had to lay his head right on top of the device.

    ¡°Protocol time. Got my magic, or ability to sense magic or whatever.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Me and¡­ Dan would be right there. Just stay put.¡± He hung up.

    ¡°Fuck! Not like I can go anywhere now, can I? Stupid fucking magic¡­ making my body feel like jelly. Assistant, play upbeat playlist, will you?!¡± His anguished groans were soon drowned out by the gibberish that followed the first chorus of Two Princes. He tried keeping his focus on the music and not on the weird feelings magic gave him or the constant painful distractions that were the threads, somehow still visible to his consciousness.

    Grunting along with the vocals into the pillow was proving to be ineffective at keeping his mind occupied and distracted. His thoughts instinctively went to the solid hole in his being that housed the same energy that he felt rushing up and down his body before losing his consciousness on his first day here. And now that the adrenaline had finished its job of driving him wide awake, he was finally able to make heads and tails of the onslaught of sensations that were upon him.

    He was pretty sure that his core was the feeling of porousness that engulfed his entire body, but at the same time was most strongly felt at one point that kept moving at random. Sending his mind peering down those figurative pores gave him a glimpse into what laid inside the supposed core, even if he wasn¡¯t able to figure out what the core itself looked like.

    Inside was obviously magic. It must¡¯ve been magic, because what else could it be? Well, if his old regular sensations were something to go by, then it was nothing. But this was a new world with new rules, and that sort of physical empiricism couldn¡¯t fly any longer. Because, despite not being able to see it, he knew it was there. Despite not being able to feel it, he knew what it felt like. It was pretty much as he¡¯s been told. There was a new sense available to him, and it governed all to do with magic.

    It was right then, following the track change, that curiosity won over and Sam opted to try and test tracing¡¯s intuitiveness all by himself. This, despite the raging headache still hounding at him, buoyed by what must be magical threads baying at his awareness through every sense but, funnily enough, his newly developed one for magic. It¡¯s just as well, he lied to himself after his third failure in a row to make the square ball around in him that held his magic do something with said energy. My head might not blow up. But I might see a thread or two in my magic that I¡¯m not supposed to see yet, which will drive me insane. Yep. That¡¯s the correct way to go about it. Better be prudent in this kind of matters. Just don¡¯t pay attention to the fact that all the threads I¡¯m seeing are coming from outside and that my body and core don¡¯t have anything resembling the bastards. Besides, a new song had just started, and it was totally inconceivable to let Johnny sing oldies-goldies all on his own.

    Just in his time, because less than a minute later and he heard the door opening, admitting rapid footsteps. ¡°Sam, how are you feeling?¡± asked the voice of Dan right after the door opened.

    ¡°Dan. I¡¯m going to be honest with you. I¡¯m mostly annoyed by the fact that I couldn¡¯t come up with a funny answer to that question in the time it took you to get here.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good to know.¡± Maurice¡¯s voice came from above him, right about when the sound of music was cut in its tracks. Soon enough, he felt both of the doctor¡¯s hands on him, one on the top of his head and the other in the middle of his back. ¡°Alright Sam, just relax. I¡¯ll just finish my observations and we can move on to getting you used to magic. Speaking of, you¡¯re probably feeling a little lost right about now, right? That¡¯s reasonable. The first time sensing magic is even more overwhelming for us Taken than it is for regular people. Did you take a look at your core yet?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think looking is the right way to describe it, but yeah. Couldn¡¯t ¡®see¡¯ shit but only sense what I assumed must be magic. Figuring it out did lessen the vertigo, though.¡±

    ¡°Indeed. But we can still lessen it further. The problem is that your core exists throughout the whole body, but your mind can¡¯t grasp it just yet. So there¡¯s this point in your body when your core feels the strongest, but it keeps switching up, right? Simple solution. Just force it to be at one point. Do it by imagining the core as being at only that one point. It can be whichever point you want, and whatever you choose won¡¯t matter in the long run. It¡¯s only to help you ground the sensations from the core in a way you¡¯ll have an easier time understanding. You can choose whatever you like. Most people choose somewhere in the chest. I chose my heart, Sarah the lungs.¡±

    Sam¡¯s mind immediately went into overdrive. First came the instinctive thoughts about where the core should be, but they were quickly overwhelmed by irrational anxieties about making the right choice for the location. Ironic, came the third line of thought, bemoaning Sam¡¯s conundrum while at the same time flaring with self-flagellation. It was that very line of thoughts, however, that provided Sam with the push needed to make a split second decision and picture his core at the back of his right heel. Nothing wrong with the classics, right? He held a sardonic smile as he kept repeating the process of observing and stopping to observe his core through the body part.

    ¡°I think I got it,¡± he said after upwards of a dozen successful attempts. The whack a mole feeling that the core had elicited in him up to now was gone. Replaced by the mental pull his right heel had on his mind and the almost complete focus of his new sense for magic on that very same spot, just not really because it was directed inside and through it.

    ¡°Good,¡± Maurice said. His hands, by now, had moved to a different position on Sam¡¯s body. ¡°Just keep focusing on the core. Looking in and out of it. I¡¯m almost finished here. Shouldn¡¯t take too long.¡±

    ¡°Sure, take your time. Quick question though, the headache and creepy crawlies trying to make their way through my body are due to me being a Thread-Weaver, right? That¡¯s the threads, and not something that regular people have to go through?¡±

    ¡°Creepy crawlies?¡± Dan asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s like, when I opened my eyes; there was all this¡­ stuff, that I assumed must have been threads. It was everywhere, and it gave me an awful headache just by looking at them. But even after I closed my eyes, I feel the same feeling I got from looking at them, trying to worm its way into my brain through all my other senses.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ Yes¡­ That¡¯s¡­ normal. That is, I mean to say that it sounds normal from what we¡¯ve been told it will feel like to you.¡±

    ¡°That sucks. Did they tell you whether painkillers work for this kind of headaches?¡±

    ¡°They didn¡¯t¡­ But, they did assure us that once you turn off your¡­ sight, the headache and any other feeling of discomfort would soon disappear.¡±

    ¡°And did they bother this time telling you how I¡¯m supposed to do that?¡±

    Dan cleared his throat again. ¡°No¡­ they just said that it was instinctual.¡±

    ¡°Fucking hell with the instinctual bullshit again.¡±

    ¡°Alright,¡± Maurice declared. ¡°All done.¡±

    If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    ¡°And the verdict?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Nothing out of the usual. Same as any other Taken on record.¡±

    ¡°Gee, try not to sound too disappointed.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll endeavor to do just that. Meanwhile, you should compose yourself, and when you¡¯re ready, I¡¯ll run you through tracing. We¡¯ll empty your core, which will help you feel much better. At least as far as the non Thread-Weaver aspects are concerned.¡±

    Sam took a couple of deep breaths and straightened his back. Still keeping his eyes closed, and left arm further shielding his sight, he called out, ¡°Ready.¡±

    ¡°Good. Now, like we told you, tracing is incredibly instinctive.¡± I beg to differ. ¡°Even if you were completely alone, you would have figured it out sooner or later.¡± You¡¯re gonna look like such a fool when it turns out that I¡¯m a complete and utter idiot and can¡¯t figure it out by myself. ¡°But, that doesn¡¯t mean we can¡¯t make that later into now. So first things first, try and trace. Take magic from your core and place it at a point on your body. Don¡¯t be troubled by needing to discern what¡¯s your body and what¡¯s a pathway. You will insti¡ªautomatically trace to the pathway.¡±

    Sam tried. He tried once. He tried twice. He didn¡¯t try a third time because he couldn¡¯t keep his annoyance bottled up and blurted, ¡°Nope. Can¡¯t do it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s understandable. Try and focus on a particular body part. Say, your right hand. Can you raise your hand and spread your palm wide open?¡± Sam could indeed. ¡°Good, now imagine the energy inside your core also being in your hand. Don¡¯t focus on the process of the magic going from your core into your body. Instead, think of it as teleportation. The magic just suddenly appears in your hand. Your core doesn¡¯t have anything to do with the process besides being the spot where the magic was a second before that.¡±

    ¡°Still nothing,¡± Sam whined after a couple more tries when he kept trying to superimpose the feeling he got from his core onto his hand.

    ¡°Keep trying. Focus on just one point in your hand. Think about how it¡¯s going to have magic in it any second now.¡±

    Sam did. He kept trying, but his failures kept piling up. His anger at himself and his panic got so bad that it took him a couple of second to realize that he had actually succeeded. He had kept picturing the magic concentrating on the knuckle of his index finger, and that¡¯s exactly what was happening right now. The same energy that was held inside his core kept popping up all throughout his hand, at random points, and began flowing through what he now realized must be his pathways to the point he kept focusing on. He had a hard time keeping the picture of the pathways in his mind; they kept dropping out of focus whenever he stopped focusing on one point and tried the track the magic¡¯s movement through his hand.

    Despite this, he could clearly see the part of his pathway which corresponded to his index knuckle, and held the concentrated magic as clear as day. What was less clear, however, was what exactly the magic was doing once it reached its destination. It wasn¡¯t really staying still, but at the same time it wasn¡¯t going anywhere. If he had to put it in words (and with no one to accuse him of lack of imagination), the magic performed as multiple particles while it was being traced to its desired position, but once at that point, it transformed into a wave that hovered around the focal point and which size kept changing as more particles were gathered to it.

    He must have been taking too much time focusing on the wondrous and almost paradoxical sensation of the magic in his hand because Maurice tapped his shoulder. ¡°Everything alright?¡±

    ¡°I got it. At least I think I got it. Is it weird that I stole one of the core aspects of quantum theory in order to understand what was happening?¡±

    ¡°Not any weirder that plenty of the other analogies people have made in order to understand how magic functions. But you¡¯ll have plenty of time to consider the subject for yourself and under the direction of your teachers. For now, let¡¯s empty your core. Keep on tracing to your hand like you¡¯re doing. Just enlarge the point you¡¯re focusing on. Do it slowly, but bit by bit, keep tracing more magic until you¡¯ve encompassed your entire hand. Don¡¯t worry about getting there, though. You¡¯re going to run out of magic before that.¡±

    And indeed he did. Sam got only to three quarters of the base of his hand before he couldn¡¯t see any new magic tracing towards it. Focusing on his right heel and looking at his core, he saw that while it still appeared to him the same way, the energy that he was able to sense from it was almost completely gone. He could feel it slowly increasing back up, which must have been his natural regeneration of magic. Focusing back on his hand, he sensed that there was still magic being splashed around in the center of it, but the size of the wave kept decreasing as more magic dissipated.

    ¡°Done,¡± he told Maurice. ¡°At least I think it is. When I look at my core, it still¡­ ¡®looks¡¯ the same, but I can barely sense any magic from it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what it¡¯s supposed to be like. Well done.¡± Sam gave a long exhale, releasing most of the tension he didn¡¯t even know he held. ¡°You¡¯ve handled this perfectly well, Sam,¡± Maurice assured him. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about not being able to trace at first. Like I said, you¡¯d have been able to figure it out by yourself eventually. But because it can be uncomfortable, especially for us Taken, there¡¯s no reason not to get a little help.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Sounded a chipper voice from Dan¡¯s direction that was obviously not Dan¡¯s. ¡°Only pretentious asshole¡ªnobles and the such¡ªforce their children to go through Awakening all by themselves. And let me tell you, the only thing those kids get from the experience is emotional trauma.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ! That scared the hell out of me. Who that fuck is that?¡± Sam turned towards the source of the voice while asking the entire room the question.

    ¡°Farris Ninae, Supreme Commander of the Sarechi-Terran Armies in the East. It¡¯s my great pleasure to finally meet you in person, face to hand covering face. I heard a lot about you in the last couple of days.¡± The man then unceremoniously grabbed Sam¡¯s right hand and vigorously shook it, almost knocking Sam¡¯s left hand from covering his eyes.

    ¡°Farris? As in the elf that threatened to kill me?¡±

    ¡°Why are you emphasizing me being an elf? That doesn¡¯t have anything to do with it. What, if a Terran threatened to kill you? You were going to just smile and shake it off?¡±

    ¡°Listen here mate. You¡¯re the one threatening murder. You don¡¯t get to take the high ground and try and paint me as the bad guy.¡±

    ¡°Why not? You think being a murder is worse than being a racist?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, of course it is. Besides, I¡¯m not racist. I only hate elves.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s called being racist. You Terrans changed the meaning once there were different sophonts living among you. Get with the times, old man.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have to sit this and take this kind of abuse. Especially not from a¡­ Nah, that¡¯s going too far.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°Oh, c¡¯mon. What were you going to say? I can take it. Besides, how will you know which words are off limits if you never say them, right?¡±

    ¡°Alright¡­ I was going to say from a knife-ears like¡ª¡±

    ¡°What?! How dare you! I¡¯m going to¡ª¡±

    ¡°Farris.¡± Dan cleared his throat. ¡°Maybe a little more decorum is in order right about now? Leave the comedy act until after Sam can open his eyes?¡±

    ¡°Comedy act?¡± Sam objected, even though he knew in his heart that Dan was right. ¡°What¡¯s funny about the guy threatening to kill me? That¡¯s literally the first thing I knew about him.¡±

    ¡°Oh, lighten up will you,¡± Farris rebuked him. ¡°It was a joke. What, you¡¯ve never been threatened by a high-ranking general that if you upstage his prodigious niece, he¡¯s going to have you killed before?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Eisenhower was already president by then.¡±

    ¡°Eisenhower.¡± Farris chuckled. ¡°That¡¯s a good one. He was the general in charge in World War Two, right?¡±

    ¡°General in charge of what? Wait, why the hell do you even recognize his name?¡±

    ¡°So I was right, was I? He was the ¡®me¡¯ of back then, no? That¡¯s what makes the joke clever.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re giving me way too much credit, man¡­ I don¡¯t even know who you are beside being prone to threatening murder. How the hell should I know whether you¡¯re akin to Ike for the joke to have two meanings?¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s Ike?¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ, this is worse than the fucking threads.¡±

    ¡°Not bad, huh?¡± Farris boasted and clapped him on the shoulder. ¡°I don¡¯t know about that Ike guy, but I sure am a master of distraction. Forgot all about peering into causality now, did you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, right up until you reminded me of it. Seriously, Dan, Maurice, what¡¯s this guy doing here? Isn¡¯t he a big deal, your boss¡¯s boss or whatever? What the hell is he here bothering me for?¡±

    ¡°Good question. Dan? Maurice?¡±

    Dan cleared his throat. ¡°General Farris is¡­ here of his own volition. He said that he wanted to appraise you himself... when I first spoke to him about you. He also promised to help you with turning off your ability to sense threads, the Threadsight. If you would be so kind as to get to that, general?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m was just excited to meet someone from the golden age of Earth,¡± Farris said. ¡°All the other Taken were kids, which really shortens the amount of time they had to soak in the culture. Maurice, the oldest, was technically a teenager, I guess. But that¡¯s not much better, and he¡¯s never fun to talk with.¡±

    ¡°I apologize for my childhood and personality having failed to meet your expectation, general,¡± Maurice said. ¡°But if you could please not take it out on my patient and get on with helping him adjust his senses.¡±

    Farris sighed. ¡°Oh, very well, if I must. Still, it was oddly fun talking to someone¡¯s elbow. So, Sam, let¡¯s get you back to normal mediocrity for the time being, shall we? If you could just open your eyes for a second and tell me what you¡¯re seeing.¡±

    Reluctantly, Sam complied with the weirdo¡¯s orders and uncovered his eyes. What greeted him was a veritable explosion of color swirling around and emanating from the man above him. Farris had a whole plethora of different lines reaching out of him and into the wider worlds, which finally made Sam realize why they were called threads. The sight, however, also brought back Sam¡¯s headache with a vengeance (in this case, vengeance was roughly equal to a multiplier of ten) as his head was filled with too much garbled and nonsensical information carried by the innumerous threads.

    ¡°Fucking Christ!¡± Sam cried out while covering his eyes and rolling on his back. ¡°This is so much fucking worse than it was before. What the hell is wrong with you?! And who the fuck is Erianna?!¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Farris sounded impressed. ¡°You managed to get Erianna from that as well? That¡¯s some talent you got there, my friend. I kept her in mostly as a joke. I was really pushing Ike hard.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck is that are you talking about?! Why do their names keep bouncing around in my head?!¡±

    ¡°Eh, it¡¯s just a little Ruler trick. Doesn¡¯t work on anyone but young Thread-Weavers or the really shitty assimilated Epiraks who, despite being Rulers, ended up as Brutes. I¡¯ll teach you when you¡¯re a Ruler. Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not worried about that, asshole! I¡¯m worried about my head being split open.¡±

    ¡°Oh, quit being such a baby. So you saw my full and unfettered existence, big deal. It¡¯s just your brain trying to make sense of all facets of my being in order to determine my fate. That isn¡¯t anything special. We¡¯ve all been there.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Farris,¡± chided Dan.

    ¡°C¡¯mon. The kid keeps disrespecting me. I have to show him that I mean business in order to instill fear of me in him. What am I gonna do otherwise when one day he becomes stronger than me and decides to kick my ass? I need the psychological trauma to give me the upper hand!¡±

    Sam scoffed, face to face with the grinning Farris. ¡°You realize there¡¯s a deep difference between disdain and fear, right? The only thing you¡¯ve managed to instill in me is the assurance that you¡¯re a weirdo and an asshole.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not a very nice thing to say to the Ruler who decided to personally come and help you with the drudgery that is Awakening as a Thread-Weaver. There¡¯s a reason why you can look upon my beautiful visual visage without being overwhelmed by my inner one when you couldn¡¯t just a minute ago.¡±

    Sam frowned at the widening smile in front of him. ¡°You¡¯re saying you¡¯re the reason?¡±

    ¡°Of course I am.¡± Farris bowed with a flourish. ¡°And that¡¯s a job well done. You may now offer up your gratitude.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t do anything you jerk.¡±

    ¡°I beg to differ. It has been proven time and time again that the fastest way to help new Thread-Weavers turn off the Sight is to have them look upon a Ruler. There¡¯s nothing quite like primordial fear of a being greater than you to get your mind to follow its instincts.¡±

    ¡°You said that he¡¯ll manage to handle fine on his own,¡± Dan said.

    ¡°Well sure. But that could take up to a whole day. Look at me, for example, it took me not succeeding until dinner for my mother to give in and have me look at her. And no, I know what you¡¯re thinking: she was still a Ruler then. Anyway, when it came Erianna¡¯s turn to surprise the whole Web, I managed to convince my mother to only let her struggle with tracing on her own.¡±

    ¡°Just a moment,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Following Esther¡¯s confirmation that Sam was a Thread-Weaver, I researched the topic and found only a few references of needing them to look at Rulers. Most cases were able to turn the sight off on their own without much trouble.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Farris said. ¡°And I¡¯m willing to bet that those Thread-Weavers were adults, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­¡±

    ¡°Mm-hmm¡­ So, two things there. One, quite obvious, older, higher-level people have a better understanding of magic, higher tolerance and all that other crap. They can figure out the Sight faster while also being much less troubled by its view. Second point, the younger you are to awaken your talent as a Thread-Weaver, the more talented you are. Which means that your first time using the Sight will be more headache inducing. Of course, it¡¯s not really age that¡¯s on trial, cause Sam is by all accounts rather old to display such startling talent, it¡¯s levels. There¡¯s a distinct difference of talent between those Thread-Weavers who are thus from the get go, i.e. before their Awakening, and those that only discover their talents after. Thread-Weavers like me and Sam are always best served by forcing us to see a Ruler.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t put me together with you, man,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Ah?! Why not? You think you¡¯re better than me? As good as my niece? Are you saying you¡¯re even better?!¡±

    ¡°Farris,¡± Dan said.

    ¡°What? I was only joking. There¡¯s no way that the only Thread-Weaver Taken in history is going to come up short of an idiot like me. Now, Erianna, that¡¯s a different¡ª¡±

    ¡°So he really is the only one history?¡± Maurice asked. ¡°You¡¯ve confirmed it?¡±

    Farris shrugged his shoulders. ¡°I¡¯ve seen your archive on Transit. It¡¯s not much worse than ours, Maurice. And yes, I couldn¡¯t find any mention of a Taken who¡¯s also a Thread-Weaver, and I checked twice just to be sure. Now I know you and I disagree on the logic behind the Taken but you¡¯ve got to face the facts. It¡¯s pretty obvious that Sam is the only one of his kind. Which¡±¡ªhe turned to Sam, his eyes shining¡ª¡°is exactly why I just had to come and see you for myself.¡±

 Chapter 44

    ¡°That¡¯s creepy man.¡± Sam shoved the elf away and got up off the bed, just in time to catch Dan¡¯s whole face twitching for some reason. Clearing his throat, he said, ¡°And I¡¯ll be more than happy to shame you for that in just a moment. But I¡¯m a ¡®pee first thing in the morning¡¯ kind of person, so if you¡¯ll just excuse me...¡± Not waiting for an answer, he rushed into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Jesus fuck! He exhaled once he was behind the closed door. Does that guy know something?

    ¡°Web-Web. Web-Web,¡± he whispered to himself once he was sitting on the toilet. ¡°Do you know this guy? Is he evil or something? Do you think he knows?¡± The AI stayed silent, which relaxed Sam at first and allowed him to start his business, following the logic that if Web-Web didn¡¯t talk back, that must mean the situation wasn¡¯t dangerous. Of course, he then began worrying that the reason Web-Web wasn¡¯t speaking was because Farris might me able to sense them somehow, which caused Sam to clam right back up.

    Exhaling once again, Sam slapped himself on both cheeks and muttered, ¡°Stop getting in your own head, man. You got nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about. It¡¯s just a coincidence. Guy just has a weird interest in Taken and he wanted to meet the newest and most unique one. He probably doesn¡¯t think I¡¯m anything special beyond being a Thread-Weaver and a Taken. This just is me jumping to conclusions.¡± He managed to calm himself and, soon enough, he was flushing the toilet. After washing his face and brushing his teeth (even high-ranking generals must wait on dental hygiene) he stepped back into the room to see the three of his guests looking at him expectantly.

    ¡°I¡¯m not letting you guys in there,¡± he said.

    ¡°We weren¡¯t going to ask,¡± Dan said.

    ¡°Why not?¡± Farris asked at the same time.

    ¡°How are you feeling, Sam?¡± Maurice ignored the other two.

    ¡°Head¡¯s still hurting a bit.¡± Sam massaged his forehead. ¡°Besides that, I¡¯m fine. At least I think I am. Is there anything else I should be doing? Magic-wise?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Farris said. ¡°Catch up to the rest of your peers in both knowledge and level¡­ Oh? You meant right now? No, you¡¯re good.¡±

    Maurice sighed. ¡°Get dressed and then we¡¯ll go get your universal translator installed. We obviously have no reason to be carrying any spares around here, so I had to order one for you, but I left it back at my office.¡±

    ¡°Ooh¡­ The translator. That¡¯s always great fun. Being able to read every book and watch every show in its native language. We¡¯ll go grab you some must read elven classics afterwards.¡±

    ¡°We?¡± Sam asked, displacing Maurice in order to take out a pair of pants from the dresser. ¡°Who¡¯s we? Who invited you?¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡± The general guffawed exaggeratedly. ¡°I came all this way from Maynil just to see you and you¡¯re going to brush me away so cruelly? After all I¡¯ve done to help you? I¡¯ve bared my true self before you.¡±

    ¡°The word Ike is still bouncing around in my head.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that will take a while to be gone.¡± Farris laughed. ¡°There¡¯s a trick to counter it, though. I¡¯d be willing to teach it to you. For a price.¡±

    Sam raised his head from tying his shoes and narrowed his eyes at Farris. ¡°What you want?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s just say that you¡¯ll owe me one. How about it?¡±

    ¡°Sure, whatever. Worst case, I¡¯ll just write you off. It¡¯s not like keeping promises is the cornerstone of a lot of ethical theories.¡±

    ¡°Splendid. I won¡¯t get into why or how it works. That¡¯s going to be on the shoulders of whoever it is we send out to teach you threads, so for now just take it as is. But what you need to do is real easy: focus on the intrusive thought while at the same time imagining it to be the answer to a simple mathematical question.¡±

    Sam stood up. ¡°That doesn¡¯t make any sense.¡±

    ¡°Try it.¡±

    ¡°What, ¡®one plus one equals Ike?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Sure. Or, if it¡¯s easier for you, use¡­ what¡¯s it called?¡± he turned to Dan and uttered a word Sam didn¡¯t understand.

    ¡°Algebra,¡± Dan said. Sam shook his head and pictured the three lettered work being the solution to some real simple equation. He was amazed to discover that after the fifth time uttering the equation in his mind, the compulsion to keep thinking about the word lessened. By the tenth iteration, the compulsion was completely gone.

    ¡°See?¡± Farris held a cocky grin when Sam finally opened his eyes in confusion that the elf¡¯s idiotic tip had really worked.

    ¡°No thank you, I don¡¯t like sand.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sam tried mirroring Farris¡¯ confusion, in an attempt to win back imaginary and childish points, before quickly turning back to Maurice. ¡°All ready, after you, doctor.¡± Maurice nodded and began leading the odd procession that walked out of Sam¡¯s room like it was some mangled joke. Dan followed at Maurice¡¯s back, glancing backwards every couple of seconds at Sam and the almighty general that walked almost shoulder to shoulder with him.

    ¡°Do you mind?¡± Sam gestured towards the lack of space between them. His hand hitting the elder man¡¯s ribs would have helped drive the point further if it didn¡¯t feel to Sam like he had hit solid steel. ¡°Ow! The fuck was that?¡± he asked, while rubbing his bruised hand.

    Farris tapped on his chest, which echoed with a metallic sound. ¡°Living Armor, very rare.¡±

    ¡°Why do you have armor on?¡±

    ¡°Why not? Armor is cool. Besides, you can¡¯t take Living Armor off, silly. That¡¯s the whole point. It lives with you. Anyway¡±¡ªhe inched even closer to Sam¡ª¡°you got to explain to me that joke you just made. I didn¡¯t get it at all. What does the sand have to do with it?¡±

    ¡°Are you serious? Why do you even care about that? It was a stupid joke, barely a joke, as a matter of fact.¡±

    ¡°But it was something, right? I seem to recall reading about a popular internet joke having to do with sand or something, but I can¡¯t recall it at the moment.¡±

    ¡°Jesus, mate, why the hell do you even know this stuff? You¡¯re an elf living a hundred years removed from the stupid movies.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s something to do with movies?¡±

    ¡°What? No man, I mean yes. But my ¡®joke¡¯ had nothing to do with them or that meme.¡±

    ¡°So it was a joke! What was it?¡±

    Sam shook his head with a bemused smile. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I have to explain this¡­ It was just a play on words. ¡®See¡¯ sounds like ¡®sea¡¯ which has a beach¡ª¡±

    ¡°And because you don¡¯t like sand, you don¡¯t go to the sea!¡± Farris finished for him. ¡°Wow, you¡¯re right. It really wasn¡¯t a good joke. So what is the meme about the sand? Oh. wait a moment.¡± Sam held the building¡¯s door open for him while Farris was busy rearranging his look by putting on sunglasses and a giant hat that he materialized out of nothing.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Dan shook his head at the grinning elf. ¡°No one here can recognize you now anyway.¡±

    ¡°Better safe than sorry,¡± Farris said and gave Sam a thumbs up.

    ¡°I feel like I must apologize somewhat for the general¡¯s behavior, Sam,¡± Dan said once they joined back with him and Maurice. ¡°He¡¯s usually much more composed than this.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just because you haven¡¯t gotten to know me very well yet, Dan Ritter! We just need to spend more time together. I¡¯m like this with all of my close friends.¡±

    ¡°With all due respects, sir, I was at Shallenet. Don¡¯t try and tell me that wasn¡¯t the real you.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ come off it. Who¡¯s to say which version of myself is the real me? There¡¯re hundreds of Farris Ninaes out there for every situation and mood I¡¯m in. And this is me when I¡¯m having fun with my friends on vacation and I don¡¯t need to take anything seriously.¡±

    ¡°What vacation? You¡¯re here on work. You have the summit with Terran Home Command that has already started three hours ago. It¡¯s your official reason for coming here, lest we forget.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam asked.

    Farris smiled. ¡°Well, I kept pushing it off due to now wanting to bother with the small amount of headache the politics will bring. But I had to do it eventually. So I figured, why not now? I¡¯m already coming to New Terra anyway, to see you in all your splendor. But it¡¯s not like I have to be there. My people are going to take care of everything. And we¡¯re not going to go over anything too important, just logistics.¡±

    ¡°Logistics aren¡¯t important?¡±

    ¡°Oh, very much so. Incredibly important. Sure, the war had been in stalemate for a decade and there¡¯s not much place for innovation in that aspect. But that¡¯s what this conference is really about, the innovation that can still take place. Making sure that everything that should be done, will be done. And since I will brook no comprise or deliberation, there¡¯s not much for me to do there besides being a pretty face.¡±

    ¡°Hardly everything,¡± Maurice said.

    ¡°Look doctor, we all want a codified and optimal first aid manual. But any Ruler than can oversee such a project is indisposed and will be for the foreseeable future. So unless you¡¯re willing to step up to the to occasion and become a Ruler yourself, it¡¯s just going to have to be tabled for now.¡±

    ¡°I just don¡¯t understand why you must have a Ruler in charge. There are plenty of talented healers and doctors all around the Web who¡¯s knowledge surpasses every Ruler even if their level doesn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Because the ningani won¡¯t adopt any change in doctrine, unless sure that the entire theory standing behind it is airtight. And because their meritocracy only sees magical strength as worthy of merit, they think only Rulers¡ªmeaning those who work with threads¡ªcan make worthwhile suggestions to science. And if the ningani won¡¯t adopt any change, then the Imperials won¡¯t. And if both of them won¡¯t, then the Accord isn¡¯t going to without being forced to. So unless you¡¯re telling me that you have a surefire way to get the Silent Seer to adopt it as one of her ¡®just do it, I don¡¯t need to explain to you anything¡¯ edicts. You¡¯re really just talking about dedicating thousands of work hours in order to change our field aid procedures by a tiny amount. Because without involvement from the other races, you¡¯re just going to end up with our current manual, that you helped design ten years ago.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind,¡± Maurice said calmly.

    ¡°So are you not planning to attend the summit at all?¡± Dan asked.

    ¡°Of course I am and of course I will. Thank you for reminding me of the slavish nature of my position. Now I wouldn¡¯t be able to have fun because the cloud of duty will keep hanging over me. You understand my plight, right Sammy?¡±

    ¡°Are you asking me whether I understand not wanting to go to a social event? Or whether I understand that power binds those who wield it like the gift of knowledge bound mankind to this mortal coil?¡±

    ¡°The first one.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Then, no. Also, don¡¯t call me Sammy.¡±

    ¡°So Sam isn¡¯t short for something? Samuel? Sampson, maybe?¡±

    ¡°No, but now that you¡¯ve mentioned it, I¡¯ve got a great joke about¡ªnever mind,¡± he said once he saw Dan wincing.

    ¡°So just Sam? That¡¯s a little bland, don¡¯t you think? Is there no meaning behind it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a name just like any other. It¡¯s not like there¡¯s an objective quality to the stuff. Why, what the hell does your name stand for?¡±

    ¡°Oh, but there¡¯s a whole slew of famous Farrises. There¡¯s Farris the Great; he¡¯s the big one. There¡¯s Farris the Drowned; he¡¯s the mythological one. Myself, I was named after my great-grandfather because my parents saw nothing wrong with giving the second-born the most common name for elven monarchs.¡±

    ¡°Well, Sam stands for Sam. My mother was a big fan of footwear based economical theories.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t say¡­ I¡¯m going to have to look that up later. Didn¡¯t know that Terrans also had shoes based economics.¡± Sam narrowed his eyes at Farris, but chose not to pursue the question had loud, remarking to himself to look up elven economic theory at a later date.

    ¡°So how long does installing me with ancient malware going to take?¡± Sam asked Maurice.

    ¡°You mean the translator? Less than a minute.¡±

    ¡°That fast?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the greatest magical wonder in all the Web.¡± The doctor shrugged his shoulders.

    ¡°And no one knows how it works,¡± Farris said. ¡°Makes you think whether we really should keep putting that artifact in our brains and our children¡¯s brains.¡±

    ¡°Remind us again, who is it that was given the Sarechi Royal Living Armor?¡± Dan asked him.

    ¡°The Living Armor is also Reshan technology?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Almost everything that¡¯s top of the line when it comes to killing people is of Reshan make,¡± Farris said. ¡°And almost every artifact of Reshan make is designed to kill people. It¡¯s like they made the translator in order to atone for all the other horrible shit they made.¡±

    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    ¡°Right¡­ like their flying fortress things. What were they called?¡±

    ¡°Holdworlds.¡± Farris laughed bitterly. ¡°That¡¯s probably the most basic knowledge of the Epiraks there is. How¡¯d you manage to forget it?¡±

    ¡°Get off my back, will you? I just got here. I should be getting credit for remembering the names of stuff. You know how many names and terms I¡¯ve come up against in the last couple of days?¡±

    Farris laughed much more heartily this time. ¡°Fair enough. Just make sure not to forget my niece¡¯s name.¡±

    ¡°Sure. Ike, was it?¡±

    ¡°Who is Ike anyway?¡±

    ¡°Are you serious? It¡¯s Eisenhower¡¯s nickname. How do you know who Eisenhower is and not know his nickname?¡±

    ¡°I also don¡¯t know his first name. You think that just because I am so smart and clever and handsome that I can remember every facet of Terran history?¡±

    ¡°Why do you know even know a single facet of Terran history?¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s just rude. Why wouldn¡¯t I be interested in the history of any of the allied races?¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. I guess knowing some history is normal. But you don¡¯t strike as knowing only some history. So let¡¯s do a test. Dan, do you know who Dwight Eisenhower was?¡±

    ¡°Sure. American general in the Second World War who later became president. Don¡¯t know his party though. The Americans only had two, right?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ Let¡¯s not get into it right now. Point is, you only got it because we already said it, right?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. I already knew about it.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Sam¡¯s face contorted

    ¡°If it helps your argument,¡± Maurice said. ¡°I didn¡¯t know who he was.¡±

    ¡°What? Really? But, but¡­ you¡¯re¡­ normal. You¡¯re from my, our, time. How can you not know who Eisenhower was?¡±

    Maurice shrugged. ¡°I was still a kid when I was taken. And I had more important things on my mind than knowing the names of American presidents. Still do, as a matter of fact.¡±

    ¡°But he¡¯s literally the guy who liberated your country! OK, a little bit of hyperbole maybe, but I¡¯d still expect a French person to know who was in charge of D-Day, wouldn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Evidently not.¡±

    ¡°What about de Gaulle? Do you know him?¡±

    ¡°Oui, le G¨¦n¨¦ral. One time.¡± He chuckled. ¡°I almost failed a test because I couldn¡¯t remember where he was born. Last minute I either managed to remember or I simply guessed that it was Lille. Still failed, though. Wonder why I remember that?¡± His face turned melancholy.

    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s your subconscious¡¯s way of reminding you what¡¯s really important in life.¡±

    ¡°Knowing where old people were born?¡±

    ¡°Knowing your history.¡±

    ¡°Ah! Now that you put it that way. I do know the name of the first person ever to score a goal in the world cup. And it just so happens that he was French. Does that count as proper history to you?¡±

    Sam grit his teeth. ¡°Unfortunately, football does fall under the purview of proper history, what with it leading to war that one time. Not to mention all the sportswashing that was all the rage a hundred years ago.¡±

    The conversation lapsed at that point, with Maurice and Dan taking the lead and Sam and Farris following behind them. Dan then got a call and stepped to the side of the road to take it, following them from some distance behind. Maurice kept his taciturn silence while starting ahead. At least, that was what Sam hoped he was doing. Surely he wasn¡¯t going down some painful memory lane because Sam brought forth old memories. Turning to his right, Sam saw that Farris was intent on examining him. And in yet another display of the absurdity of the Ruler¡¯s behavior, he didn¡¯t flinch in the slightest or shy away once caught in the act. Instead, Farris simply smiled a wide, almost predatory smile. ¡°What?¡± Sam finally asked.

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t mind me. Just taking a look at your threads. Never had a chance to examine a newly returned Taken, you know? I¡¯ll have to jot it all down later. Maybe there¡¯s something we can learn from you.¡±

    ¡°My threads? What could you possibly learn from them?¡±

    Farris tsked. ¡°Now, now, don¡¯t go rushing ahead. You¡¯ll learn all that you want, and much more than any reasonable person can stomach, of threads and their mystery once you reach level 1 and can begin your studies. And all that you¡¯ll learn from others will be dwarfed by what you can only learn by yourself. Remind me in a couple of years, after you¡¯ve become a Ruler, and I¡¯ll give you my diagram of what your threads looked like as a younger man. Then, you¡¯ll be free to come to your own conclusions, just as I am now.¡± Sam began flailing his hands around, trying to disrupt whatever it was that the older Thread-Weaver was seeing. ¡°That doesn¡¯t work.¡± Farris chuckled.

    Releasing a defeated sigh, Sam had no recourse but to let the weirdo keep on scrutinizing his ¡®threads.¡¯ Instead, he decided that he should probably send a message to Sarah and his two newly gained¡ªand not to be thought of as a single unit at all¡ªfriends. He let it be known in the group chat that he finally got his magic; that he was completely fine and was now on his way to get a translator. Yvessa didn¡¯t respond, Felix sent a thumbs up, and Sarah expressed the importance of still waiting for them with breakfast by using several exclamation marks.

    Sam put his phone back and was free to let his mind wander while observing the scenery. He was glad to notice that despite being accompanied by a big shot like Farris, he was less a source of attention than he was yesterday. Hopefully, in a couple of days, everyone would get their curiosity satisfied and he can go back to the safe confines of anonymity. It was just after his mind finished its wandering and settled on a topic that he was brought back from his internal debate by a tap on his shoulders.

    ¡°Finally finished?¡± he asked Farris.

    ¡°Indeed, got it all here.¡± Farris pointed to his head. ¡°And here.¡± He pointed to a notebook that immediately disappeared into thin air.

    ¡°Good for you.¡±

    ¡°Good for all us, hopefully. But now that duty is dealt with, that leaves me free for us to return to our discussion, wouldn¡¯t you agree?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Or¡­ you could let me go back to what I was just in the middle of, which was trying to determine what counts as ¡®proper¡¯ history that people ought to learn and what doesn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been down that road before. I highly doubt that you¡¯ll be able to figure it out in the next couple of minutes.¡±

    ¡°Now we¡¯ll never know, will we? And I was just in the middle of trashing Marx. Whatever¡­ What did you say you want to talk about?¡±

    ¡°Oh, so very many things. For most of which I do believe you are the sole possible conversational partner.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not telling you anything private.¡±

    ¡°Come now. Your circumstances might make you unique in all the Web, but it doesn¡¯t mean that your personality and life story from before are as uniquely interesting.¡±

    ¡°They very much aren¡¯t. But I¡¯ve been known to get good reviews after embellishing them with a great heaping of self-deprecating jokes.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ yes. I¡¯ve been made aware of some of those. But there¡¯ll be time for us to get to know each other better later. For now, it¡¯s not your own private stories which I am after. But rather the public stories to which you¡¯ve been privy to. Terran history and culture that is lost to everyone but you, its sole inheritor.¡±

    ¡°Why do you care so much about Terran crap?¡±

    Farris clapped his hands. ¡°And this is precisely where we left off. You were in the middle of lecturing me that my knowledge about Terran history was unnatural.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure I didn¡¯t put it so gently.¡±

    ¡°How you put it doesn¡¯t matter all that much to me. What does matter is that you keep bringing that up, and it prevents us from furthering our discussion on this very topic.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Every time I try to ask you something about Terran history or culture, let alone pop-culture, you¡¯ve shot me down by claiming it¡¯s weird for me to be interested in the subject.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Well, excuse me for finding it weird that an elf would care so much about human, I mean Terran, culture. Usually it¡¯s the other way around, you know?¡±

    ¡°From my experience, that really isn¡¯t so.¡±

    Sam paused in thought. His process of sorting through his memories of stories where elves looked down upon humans was then disrupted when he was so pointedly reminded that those were fiction and this, at least until contrary evidence presented itself, was real life. ¡°Really?¡± he stammered the question. ¡°Fascinating. So wait, it¡¯s a trend among elves to be interested in Terran culture? Is it modern stuff, I mean stuff from my time, or is it older stuff? Or is it modern modern culture?¡±

    ¡°A little of everything, I suppose. But most interest, and I can personally attest to that, is put upon the era just before your integration. The most technologically advanced society ever to exist, while also being wholly untouched by magic. It might not sound like much to you, but living in a world without magic is a completely foreign aspect to every other race in the Web. That¡¯s what drew me, at least, to be interested in Terran history.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Romanticizing humanity¡­ you don¡¯t get a whole lot of that in fiction. Modern ones, at least. So that makes you what, a terraboo? I guess that I can get behind that. And it¡¯s not that weird in the grand scheme of things, I suppose¡­ It¡¯s not like you try to act like a Terran or anything obnoxious like that. I mean, that wouldn¡¯t work though, right? Terran is this huge category of people. There can¡¯t be one Terran dress code that you¡¯re supposed to emulate. Or one Terran language that your kind of weirdos want to¡­ learn about¡ªWait. How can I understand you? I thought that the translator only works for input, not output.¡±

    ¡°Correct.¡±

    ¡°So?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m speaking English, obviously. You just now noticed it?¡±

    ¡°Why do you know English? Yvessa said she only knew it because it was also taught to her as a child. I find it hard to believe that they had a reason to teach you English before you could trace.¡±

    Farris sighed. ¡°You¡¯re right about that. Had to learn it all on my own as an adult. I tell you, it¡¯s so fucking hard to learn a language, especially when you have to keep turning the translator off when you want to study. And the worst thing is! It wasn¡¯t even fucking worth it! I thought that by learning the language I¡¯d be able to appreciate the culture even more, but I didn¡¯t! It didn¡¯t do shit! The translator is so fucking magic that it does everything better than natively knowing the language, and unlike a normal person, it knows every word. And you have so many of them.¡±

    ¡°That is¡­ so¡­ lame. It¡¯s even lamer than it is for the usual suspects because you could already understand the language as a native.¡±

    ¡°Laugh all you want. I might have wasted my time, but I¡¯ll still be something you¡¯ll never be: bilingual.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not true. While I stopped being one when I learned my third language, there¡¯s still the possibility that I will eventually forget it and go back to being a simple bilingual like you.¡±

    ¡°Languages of the same race don¡¯t count as different.¡±

    ¡°Says who?¡±

    ¡°Your future commander.¡±

    ¡°I thought you were already my commander. Am I not part of the military yet?¡± he asked Dan, back from his phone call, as they were following Maurice into the hospital.

    ¡°You are. But as long as you remain a cadet, you¡¯re under the jurisdiction of Home Command, which is nominally independent from Eastern Command, and thus Farris.¡±

    ¡°Ach. You just reminded me that I¡¯m technically a cadet. Isn¡¯t there a way for me to like¡­ not be in charge of anyone?¡±

    ¡°Of course. You don¡¯t have to be in command if you don¡¯t want to. And you won¡¯t if you end up not suitable for it. You¡¯re only given an officer¡¯s rank because of your potential for strength. And just because you¡¯re strong doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯re also suited for leading people in combat.¡±

    ¡°Ain¡¯t that the truth?¡± Farris sighed. ¡°If we could completely adopt the Terran military¡¯s chain of command, it¡¯s ideal form at least. It would save me a hell of a lot of headaches from stupid officers and even stupider generals whose only qualification is that they¡¯re noble-born Rulers.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you fall under that category?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°What are you even talking about? I¡¯m not anything like those prissy bastards. They¡¯re simple nobles while I am a royal. There is a world of difference. I¡¯m in charge of the military because my sister is in charge of the government, and that¡¯s just how the kingdom works. It¡¯s the proper and legitimate structure of governance that gives me my job.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. That¡¯s soooo much better.¡±

    ¡°Hey! At least in our case, the military is actually subservient to the civilian government. Go ahead, tell your prime minster to give an order to your general staff that your Rulers won¡¯t like. Watch as nothing happens.¡±

    ¡°Is that true?¡± Sam asked the other two Terrans. Maurice didn¡¯t respond, simply opening the door to his office and proceeding to walk over towards his desk.

    Dan shrugged. ¡°In a way. But it¡¯s not like we¡¯re living in a military junta of some sort. The army doesn¡¯t interfere in civilian matters and the civilian government doesn¡¯t interfere in military matters. That¡¯s pretty much how it is all across the Web. Either the strongest people, read Chosen, who are in charge of the military, are also in charge of the government. Or, you can keep the two separate so that each will be headed by the people most suited for the role.¡±

    ¡°Then we still have¡­ well, not still, cause let¡¯s face it, having the word democracy or republic in your country¡¯s name didn¡¯t mean much. But the Terran Republic is a republic, right? We a democracy?¡±

    ¡°Oh, very much so.¡± Farris nodded. ¡°An exemplary parliamentary republic where no matter your political affiliations, chances are you¡¯re satisfied with the election results.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound plausible.¡±

    ¡°Oh, but it is. That¡¯s because the current government, and indeed every government since the republic¡¯s inception, has been a part of a majority coalition that represented more than eighty-five percent of the electorate.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Oh! That¡¯s it? I thought it was going to be much more awful than that. Like there¡¯s only one party or something. So it¡¯s just that there¡¯s a continuous national unity government? Ain¡¯t nothing wrong with that. We¡¯re in a war against literal evil, after all.¡±

    ¡°Here we go,¡± said Maurice while beckoning Sam towards one of the chairs sat opposite his desk. In his hand, held in a simple pinch, was a small circular piece of metal with a glossy sheen.

    ¡°That¡¯s it?¡± Sam asked. There wasn¡¯t anything on the item to denote that it was anything other than a piece of iron with some pretty carvings.

    ¡°Yes, yes. It¡¯s a whole marvel of Reshan engineering. Now let¡¯s get to it.¡±

    Sam held back any further complaint and concern and settled down on the chair with Maurice hovering above him. The doctor nodded reassuringly and stuck the piece of metal to his forehead. Then he stepped back. ¡°All done,¡± he said. ¡°Now just wait a couple of seconds for your body to finish absorbing it, and once you¡¯re able, trace magic through the new pattern in your skull.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sam shook his head in bewilderment. ¡°That¡¯s it? You just stuck that on me like it was a star sticker and your were my kindergarten teacher. I could have done that myself.¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡±

    ¡°Most people just order a translator for their kids when they reach twelve,¡± Dan said while talking a sit next to Sam. ¡°Then whenever the child gets their magic, they already have it on hand to put it on themselves. It really is that simple.¡±

    ¡°So what level of infantility does that leave me at? Seeing as I had to have three grown adults, three very powerful grown adults, accompanying me for this simple occasion.¡±

    ¡°A royal,¡± answered Ferris with a toothy smile.

    ¡°In your dreams¡­¡± Sam denied the insult and was stopped from going on another tirade only by the entirety of his mental focus condensing inwards and upwards. It was like something was pinging his attention at the inside of his skull, and when he turned his mind to the mental irritant, a complex formation appeared before him. He could ¡°see¡± what must have been the pattern rotating lazily around the left part of his brain while at the same time rotating around itself. At first glance, the pattern appeared blurry and undecipherable and when he tried having a closer look, which, amazingly enough, worked just as it sounded, the only difference was the pattern appearing less circular but still just as blurry.

    ¡°So how do I do this?¡± Sam asked once he finished his initial assessment of the second magical amalgamation inside of his head. ¡°Just trace through it? Oh wait, never mind.¡± The moment he asked the question out loud, he turned his mind towards trying to trace towards where the pattern was located in his head and connected to his pathways, just like he did with his hand before. Only this time, the magic was drawn much more easily and immediately formed a connection with the artifact¡¯s pattern. He could feel the magical energy circling around inside the pattern while at the same time more of it was being drawn from his core, appearing exactly at the onset of the pattern.

    ¡°I think I got it,¡± Sam said. ¡°How do we make sure?¡±

    ¡°If you traced magic through the artifact than it works,¡± Farris said in his native tongue, only Sam had to take a couple of seconds in order to realize that Farris wasn¡¯t speaking English anymore because his understanding of what the Ruler said was just as natural. ¡°Believe me, the translator¡¯s pattern is pretty much perfect. Continuous cycling with no chance of outside disruption, self-gathering, no resistance. It¡¯s so good that if we could make sense of it, we¡¯d just teach kids how to trace, imprint and study patterns by having them observe it.¡±

    ¡°Man¡­ It just sucks that it worked cause that would have been real embarrassing if wasn¡¯t able to understand you just now.¡±

    ¡°I could try again. Want me to speak in gibberish and you¡¯ll act like you don¡¯t understand me?¡±

    ¡°That sounds great. But wait, what if you end up speaking in a real language? How does this thing even translate, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Magic,¡± answered Farris.

    ¡°No one really knows,¡± explained Maurice at the same time. ¡°We don¡¯t know how any of it works, the science or the magic behind it. What it does is give you perfect understating, as though you were a native speaker and reader, of any language that¡¯s stored in the artifact¡¯s shared database.¡±

    ¡°But,¡± Sam said, ¡°doesn¡¯t that might mean that it will still translate gibberish if there is a meaning for that word in some stored language?¡±

    ¡°It works on intent,¡± Farris said. ¡°First the speaker¡¯s and then the listener¡¯s. So if the speaker isn¡¯t thinking that what they¡¯re saying is a word, then the artifact won¡¯t translate it. So, even if a listener is thinking that the speaker speaks in a real language, he won¡¯t be able to understand it. But, if there is no speaker with intent, for example in a recording, then only the listener¡¯s intent matters, which is when you have people making sense of gibberish sometimes.¡±

    ¡°That sounds extremely convoluted.¡± Sam furrowed his brows.

    ¡°You wanted the explanation. Most people just hear ¡®universal translator,¡¯ nod their heads and go about their life. Happy and secure in their ability to understand people of all creeds and cultures without giving that fact a second thought.¡±

    ¡°I find that hard to believe. Surely most people have questions about this sort of stuff? You agree with me right Maurice?¡±

    The doctor turned his head sideways in a weak affirmation. ¡°I was inquisitive like you are when I was first given the translator. But Sarah wasn¡¯t, for example. So take that as you may.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a reason to make fun of her later, if that¡¯s what you mean. So, are we done here or is there another test I need to go through to make sure my head doesn¡¯t blow up?¡±

    ¡°I was wondering when you were finally going to make that joke. And no, as far as I¡¯m concerned, you¡¯re free to go. Although, remember to contract me the whenever you feel a sudden change of mood. That is a sign your mind has finished acclimating to interacting with magic. But I¡¯ll still have to do a test to make sure that¡¯s what happened.¡±

    ¡°You got it! When I feel like killing myself all of a sudden, you¡¯ll be the first person I call.¡±

    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be so drastic a change. Hopefully.¡±

 Chapter 45

    ¡°Splendid!¡± Sam slapped his thighs and stood up. ¡°So this has been great and all. But I really gotta go back and study. I¡¯m just dying to know what happened during the Century of Vines, so if you¡¯ll excuse me.¡±

    ¡°Alright,¡± Dan said, standing up as well, ¡°we¡¯ll meet at my office after you¡¯ve had breakfast. I¡¯ll text you if I¡¯m delayed for some reason¡­¡± He emphasized the last part while looking at the innocently smiling Farris.

    ¡°Oh?¡± The elf raised an eyebrow. ¡°I hope you¡¯re not planning to use me as an excuse for shirking your pedagogic duties.¡±

    ¡°Of course not, general. And what about you and your duties? My phone has been blaring nonstop with messages concerning you. Where should I tell them you¡¯ll be?¡±

    ¡°Why, I¡¯d be finding out what a pre-modern Terran thinks of the most fruitful century for spiritual and philosophical thought in elven history.¡±

    ¡°Is that what that is?¡± Sam groaned. ¡°And here I was thinking it was going to be interesting.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s called the Century of Vines because of the awesome number of thinkers that appeared during that time, each declaiming truths that would echo through elven civilization forever after.¡±

    ¡°Stupid thinkers¡­ I should have know not to get my hopes up when I saw the chapter was so short. I just hoped that it was an introductory one.¡±

    ¡°What did you think it was?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ if you put a gun to my head¡­ I¡¯d have to say I thought it was about royal wars or something. Because elves love leaves and vines are among the haughtiest of leaves.¡±

    ¡°Vines? Really? Fascinating. It is actually quite the opposite, in fact. Vines are seen as a lowly form of plant, thus the naming: To symbolize the fact that for the first time in our history that the weak and downtrodden had a noticeable effect on our culture due to their dissemination their teachings. Of course, that¡¯s the romantic view of the name, which coincidentally forgets to mention that most of these teachers came from affluent and powerful backgrounds.¡±

    ¡°Now that is interesting. But I doubt the textbooks are going to cover modern criticism of the culture¡¯s perception of the events. Historiography doesn¡¯t really align with motivation behind the academy¡¯s history courses. At least from what I¡¯ve been given to understand.¡±

    ¡°Indeed it doesn¡¯t. But it¡¯s the same everywhere, I¡¯m afraid. Your elven counterparts at the Sarechi Royal Academy might posses more knowledge about elven history than you will have at the end of your studies. But the breadth of theirs will be just as shallow as yours. It¡¯s the unfortunate truth that the modern military establishment simply doesn¡¯t see the value in teaching the whys in addition to the hows and the whats. Of course, who can blame us? We¡¯re stuck in the middle of a never ending conflict. It¡¯s not like historical revisionism will help us battle the Epiraks any be¡ª¡±

    Dan cleared his throat. ¡°As enlightening as this discussion has been, general, may I remind you that you have given us a very time sensitive task? One that we must return to if I hope to fulfill both my duty towards you and towards Sam¡­¡±

    The elven Ruler spread his hands in magnanimity. ¡°Of course, you have my blessing and my gratitude for undertaking the job on such a short notice. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll easily rise to the occasion.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure I will. And you will be with Sam, then?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Discussing the fine details behind our favorite television shows.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t agree to that,¡± Sam objected. ¡°The way you¡¯ve articulated that statement makes it seem as though I¡¯m supposed to give equal weight to your opinion of human pop culture. That is a ridiculous and frankly insulting proposition. My taste was already objectively superior to any other human alive a hundred years ago, let alone the degenerated modern viewer.¡±

    ¡°In that case, I¡¯m quite satisfied to let you dictate what my opinion should be. Should we adjourn to an outside seating in order to enjoy this wonderful New Terran sunlight?¡±

    ¡°Ach. Don¡¯t mention that fucking imitation. But I guess that I can¡¯t really refuse you now, can I? Not without risking any vindictiveness in the future. I can always catch up on my history in my sleep time. Now that it isn¡¯t fucked up. If that¡¯s alright with you two, of course?¡± he asked Maurice and Dan.

    ¡°I¡¯ve already given you the all clear from a medical standpoint. And we do have the report to finish, don¡¯t we, Dan?¡±

    The questioned teacher gave a stiff nod. ¡°I¡¯ll text you once we¡¯re finished with this stuff. Shouldn¡¯t be too long¡­ so you¡¯ll have time to have breakfast with the other three. And the general, I guess.¡±

    ¡°What a wonderful idea!¡± Farris exclaimed. ¡°A chance to meet a whole other Taken as well as the other half of the wonder twins of the Terran Republic.¡± Oh no. It spread.

    ¡°Right,¡± Dan muttered, more to Maurice then to the already departing Sam and Farris, ¡°just gotta come up with a convincing lie for where Farris actually is. He made it very clear not to¡ª¡± The door closed behind them, providing Sam with a second observation with which to make a general assumption about the academy¡¯s soundproofing.

    ¡°What the hell kind of job you gave them?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Nothing too complex. Just asked them, or rather I asked the Terran General Staff to compile a report, going back a decade or so, concerning the advancement rates of those marked by it as ¡®clear potentials.¡¯ Of course, because the graduates of this academy and the other four like it make up over eighty-five percent of current levels 6 and above, you and your ilk are the only ones marked down as such. So it¡¯s pretty much just a review of your military academies.¡±

    ¡°Eighty-five percent, huh? Good to know. So why are Dan and Maurice left writing the report? Seems something a couple of desk jockeys from the department in charge of¡­ academies or whatever, to do.¡±

    ¡°Well, they don¡¯t have to bother with collecting or assembling that information. Only with drawing conclusions. That was a request of mine to the general staff, I¡¯m afraid. Uncritical as my presence in the conference might be, the conference itself is still the opening volley in a whole wide affair aimed at better utilizing the Terran Republic¡¯s national strength. Only the finest of minds and highest of ranks are going to be there. Which means, that the information presented before them should also be of similar quality. Much more important considering it¡¯s not your military that I¡¯m having trouble convincing of my plans. Which, in your modern queen¡¯s army, means the information I need presented must be approved by a Ruler or a commanding officer of similar importance. And even though your ratio of tactical officers of such a high rank to Rulers is much better than the other races¡ªalmost half¡ªall nine of them are, for some reason, are currently indisposed, unable to be assigned such a working. Which only leaves the two Rulers currently stationed onworld.

    ¡°Both of which, in case you don¡¯t know and haven¡¯t managed to discern from your short meeting with Livingstone, are not very strategically inclined. Add to that, the fact that Dan Ritter is heavily involved in with your military academies and de facto outranks some Terran Rulers, and you arrive at the perfect person to compile the report in the short time that was allotted for it.¡±

    ¡°And Maurice?¡±

    ¡°If I¡¯m honest, I think Dan just roped him in. Not that he is not qualified, he also punches above his rank, so to speak. It¡¯s just that the responsibility for the task was dropped solely on Dan¡¯s shoulder. Either way, the whole ordeal worked out great for me no? Now I¡¯ve got you all to myself, at least until your new friends finish their morning routine.¡± He gave Sam an evil smile after saying that, which, despite Farris being quite the actor, at this point Sam was easily able to ignore.

    Sam chuckled. ¡°Want to try for a bit less creepy version of that?¡± They had made it outside of the building at this point and back into the still empty backyard of the hospital. Sam made sure to give the skies a well articulated middle finger in order to impress his feelings of them to his current companion. ¡°So what¡¯s the deal with the disparity between Rulers and proper officers, anyway?¡±

    Farris gestured to a table bench shaded by a nearby canopy and sat opposite Sam. ¡°I won¡¯t get into the exact causes for the phenomenon, because they are as varied as they are strongly debated. But it is a statistical fact that it¡¯s much easier to become a Ruler than to become a commander who is respected enough to receive command over Rulers despite not being one themselves. Why? Like I said, many reasons, let¡¯s not get into them. But just think of me as an example: Do you think I¡¯m holding my current position in the military as a result of my heritage, personal strength, or tactical acumen?¡±

    ¡°The first two, I¡¯m guessing.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. We¡¯re I not a candidate for the strongest elven Ruler¡ªor maybe even just a Ruler, if we¡¯re being very cynical¡ªI would not be able to fill my current role. That is because the political reality which shapes the Kingdom of Sarechal necessitates me being in command of its armies. I could be a complete idiot when it came to all facets that concern commanding an army in and outside of battle, but as long as I was brother to the reigning monarch, I would be placed I am now. The same goes for the military hierarchy: the most important qualifier for a position of high rank is personal strength. Everything else, good and bad, follows after.¡±

    ¡°Giving the strongest fighter the command of the military doesn¡¯t strike me as the most sound of plans.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps. I suppose I agree with you in principle. But that is the truth of the Web in which we live in: the strong rule. That¡¯s why a Chosen is always de facto, even when not de jure, in charge of their nation. The only reason that doesn¡¯t hold true for the republic is your lack of one. Even in the case of my mother, or the Silent Seer for she is a much more apt example, they relinquished direct civilian rule and delegated military command, not simply because they thought that individuals better suited than them to those tasks should be in charge. But mostly because they don¡¯t really give a shit what the civilian government does as long as it keeps the lights on and they don¡¯t want to hassle of constantly being in command.¡±

    ¡°Still, that could leave a complete idiot in charge. The one thing a meritocracy is supposed to avoid.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°Trust me, no one able to become a Ruler is a complete idiot. An idiot maybe, but not a total one. Besides, is our system so much worse than the one you are accustomed to? Giving the command of the entire military to some guy because they won a popularity contest? At least our highest ranking generals have some semblance of military expertise.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough, but I¡¯m not conceding my point just yet. Wait, does that mean that if I become really strong in the future, I¡¯m gonna have to be in charge of the entire military?¡±

    ¡°Which entire military? Cause my plans for you only go as far as becoming a Chosen and assuming command of the Terran one. You¡¯re thinking of greater heights? Of becoming some sort of super Chosen and taking command of the entire eastern front? The entire front, maybe? Wow. That is quite something. Command of the entirety of the allied forces.¡±

    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    Sam gulped. ¡°Why the fuck would you put me on that sort of pedestal? Even for ¡®just¡¯ becoming a Chosen? We¡¯ve only met today. For all you know, I¡¯m going to kill myself in a couple of weeks when the drug-like effects of magic run out.¡±

    ¡°I like to believe in people.¡± Farris¡¯ eyes twinkled. ¡°But don¡¯t worry. You¡¯re not the mainstay of my hopes for the future. That honor goes to my amazingly talented niece, who¡¯s good at everything she lays her hands on. Currently, I¡¯m picturing you as her helper of sorts, a regular Chosen to her ultra one. You¡¯ll be the Devoha to her Elira, only you¡¯ll both be stronger.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean anything to me because I didn¡¯t get to that part of elven history yet, so I¡¯ll have to object thus.¡± Sam blew a raspberry.

    ¡°Devoha of the Voice is the deshar Chosen, commonly known as the Silent Seer. Elira¡¯s my mother. One of the two elven Chosen. So in my ideal future, you¡¯ll be second in command to Erianna, like Devoha is to my mother, advising her outside of battle and fighting the enemy¡¯s number twos inside.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I just thought that using an analogy would be easier to explain myself. But that probably fell short since you didn¡¯t understand that part.¡±

    ¡°No, no. I get the part where you equated me and your niece to two old women¡ª¡±

    ¡°Hey.¡±

    ¡°What I don¡¯t get is why you¡¯re thinking so highly of me? I get that I¡¯m guaranteed to become a Ruler if I make it to level 10 but reaching level 10 isn¡¯t a guarantee now is it? And even if I manage to make it, who¡¯s to say I won¡¯t be just your average run-of-the-mill Ruler?¡± What do you know that only I¡¯m supposed to know? Was what Sam was really asking in his heart.

    ¡°That¡¯s a stupid question.¡± Farris barked a laugh. ¡°You are, quite literally, the only one of your kind in being a Thread-Weaver Taken. That¡¯s it. That¡¯s why I¡¯m banking so much on you. Some force, somewhere out there, I don¡¯t know whether it¡¯s the Reshan or something else, is in charge of doing to the Taken whatever it is that¡¯s done to them. And that force decided to make you the most outstanding of all of your kind by the simple virtue of you being one of a kind as well.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re assuming that me being both a Thread-Weaver and a Taken is a positive thing.¡± Of course it is, what the fuck am I saying? Goddammit Sarah! Why couldn¡¯t you have had the conversation about what people think of the Taken after I already knew the reason for them, so that I could have made appropriate lies for my situation?

    ¡°Sam, come now, be serious. Being a Thread-Weaver is never a bad thing, even if most of them never match up to their potential. And the statistics that are derived from the correlation between talent, which you have plenty, and chances of matching up to it, don¡¯t apply to you. You¡¯re a Taken.¡±

    ¡°Still even if¡ªWait. Is that true? I thought that most Thread-Weaver end up becoming Rulers anyway, just that I¡¯ll have a much better chance because of my pathways.¡±

    ¡°Much better doesn¡¯t begin to describe it. Most Thread-Weavers of our kind, that is to say, those who have the sight before their Awakening, also have really shitty pathways to go along with them. It is actually the other, less talented Thread-Weavers, who only get the sight later in life, that make the bulk of Thread-Weavers unto Rulers. Although to be fair, when people think of Thread-Weavers, they mostly think of the first kind, even when speaking of those that made Rulers. Because there are still those who were born with shitty pathways who pushed all the way through to fame and glory. Of course, if you ask me, them being talented Thread-Weavers is a lesser component of their successes when compared to their willpower, which allowed them to reach level 10 despite everything. I mean, take a look at that Imperial kid, we¡¯ll he¡¯s not really a kid anymore¡ªyou know what? Doesn¡¯t matter.

    ¡°My point is. You¡¯ve got the luck of being both a Taken and a Thread-Weaver. Which means that unlike most of our kind, talented though they may be, you have a straightest road possible ahead of you when it comes to reaching level 10. And even for the few of us who are lucky enough to be born with both the talent and good pathways, like me or Erianna, you still end up better overall. Considering your talent is, at the very least, equal to ours, but that your pathways are empirically better than ours, ideally perfect, whereas ours are only regularly perfect, making all my ancestors¡¯ efforts at selective breeding worthless.¡±

    ¡°Selective breeding?¡± Sam raised a brow.

    ¡°Indeed. Why are you so surprised? It¡¯s not like your monarchies were any different.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t make it right. And to be fair, ¡®our¡¯ nobles married selectively in order to keep their political assets consolidated in the family or to expand them. Which, I think, is somewhat better than actively participating in an eugenics program.¡±

    ¡°Ah! But what if the reason for such a program was the same reason that guided your old tyrants? After all, isn¡¯t insuring that your successors become powerful combatants all about political gain? And aren¡¯t well-bred children with better pathways more likely to become such figures?¡±

    ¡°Are they?¡± Sam¡¯s indignity was roused. ¡°I¡¯m genuinely asking. Does genetics play a part in how strong you can become? Is access to magic all about who your parents were?¡±

    ¡°Riled you up then?¡± Farris smiled, clasping his fingers. ¡°You are right to be. It would indeed be unfair if blood played a role in how far a person can reach with magic.¡±

    ¡°So does it?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid so. People with better pathways tend to make children with better pathways as well, and the opposite holds true. In that manner, who your parents are plays a direct role in your chances of reaching higher levels.¡± Sam grit his teeth, he was all too familiar with the problem of genetic luck, but up to now he still hadn¡¯t the thought to inquire as to the modern aspects of the problem and naively held out hope that magic will play the role of the great equalizer. ¡°But, you know what factor plays a much larger role than your parents¡¯ pathways when determining your chance to reach a high level? How rich they are. How much they are able to invest in your education. Where you grow up. Blood matters, but, it is nothing if not surmountable.¡±

    Sam let out a breath he didn¡¯t realize he held. ¡°That supposed to make me feel better? It¡¯s not how good your genes are, but how rich are your parents? Same as a hundred years ago, I guess.¡±

    ¡°I do think it¡¯s much easier for an average person to become a Ruler than it was for your average person to become a billionaire. Like I said, there were plenty of Rulers that started with awful pathways. Take your friend Felix, for example: True, he was blessed by lady luck with pathways that put him far above almost every other Terran, but if he hadn¡¯t chosen to pursue magic with all his heart than his stroke of luck would have remained undiscovered.¡±

    ¡°What, don¡¯t you guys check out a person¡¯s pathways when they¡¯re born?¡±

    ¡°Not when they¡¯re born, no. When they reach of age, after their Awakening is the earliest you can get a clear picture of a person¡¯s pathways. But the people capable of viewing another¡¯s pathways, healers like Maurice for example, are much too few in number to service the entire population. Especially in the case of you Terrans, and especially in the case of those like Felix Polaris, born on your less affluent border worlds.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure I¡¯m comfortable with you analyzing a guy that I just met yesterday. Or with you knowing anything about him. Including that he¡¯s my friend.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. Let me give you someone else then. Just as well. Felix doesn¡¯t make as good of an example for my point, considering the quality of his pathways. In that respect, Dan Ritter is a better example, although he does fall short of the of the lacking resources front.¡±

    ¡°Dan doesn¡¯t have good pathways? Is that why he¡¯s stuck at level 10?¡±

    ¡°He didn¡¯t have good pathways, worse than your average Terran at the time, at least. Now, since he¡¯s a level 10, his pathways are pretty much as close to your level of perfectness as realistically possible.¡±

    ¡°Not gonna answer the bit about why he¡¯s still level 10?¡±

    Farris gave a toothy grin. ¡°I¡¯m willing to be that you¡¯ll figure it out on your own before social convention and military confidentially will allow me to tell you. That¡¯s a hint, by the way. Of my high expectations of you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I got that,¡± Sam said and inwardly winced. Just as he was beginning to reassure himself that Farris¡¯ attitude towards him was based on widely available information. Time to put it to the test.

    ¡°So,¡± Sam said, ¡°summing up what we¡¯ve learned: Brute luck plays a major role in determining whether someone will become a Ruler in the future. We have genetic luck in the form of the quality of pathways, which I technically have a lot of. A complete inversion of my life so far, by the way. We have resource luck, which, since I¡¯ve been given an unlimited bank account and am being lectured by one of the most important people in the Web, I¡¯d say I also have plenty of. Then, we have yet another form of luck, which is some sort of talent luck that I also have plenty of on account of being a very good Thread-Weaver. So, assuming I won¡¯t be a total idiot when it comes to magic¡ª¡±

    ¡°You won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Assuming that. We must conclude that I am a very luck man. Perhaps the luckiest person in the history of the Web. And this is the reason you¡¯ve decided to treat me like I¡¯m some sort of novel protagonist, right? A chosen one like figure that deserves your personal attention. You being the modern equivalent of Dwight Eisenhower. Did I understand your line of reasoning correctly?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t put it like that. But that is the gist of it. Also, add the fact that I believe there is an intelligent and benevolent will behind the Taken. Not everyone thinks that if I¡¯m being candid.¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°Right, that as well. So, because of all those reasons, you¡¯ve decided to invest in me. That¡¯s the entirety of your logic, then?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean ¡®the entirety of your logic?¡¯ It makes sense, doesn¡¯t it? I¡¯m not saying you¡¯ll definitely become what is it you said? A ¡®chosen one?¡¯ But on the list of candidates to be one such a person, you definitely rank pretty high.¡±

    ¡°Based on what? Real life isn¡¯t some fictional narrative. It¡¯s way weirder than fiction, which is why it doesn¡¯t make sense!¡± Sam drew a breath, trying to relax in order to avoid revealing anything he shouldn¡¯t. ¡°Look, I¡¯ll tell you why I can¡¯t agree with your assessment of my future. Because while I may indeed be the luckiest man alive, you know what sort of quality I may lack that we haven¡¯t discussed so far? Will. Remember how Felix wouldn¡¯t be here today if he didn¡¯t try as hard as he did? Well, what makes you sure that I¡¯ll be where you want me to be in the future? Cause there¡¯s no guarantee that I¡¯m going to measure up to what is required of me. I mean to what you want me to be.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°You¡¯ve given it plenty of thought. Way more than me. I just heard about you being a Thread-Weaver Taken and I was drawn in. ¡®I want to meet this guy,¡¯ I said to Dan after he told me about you. And just so that you don¡¯t think of me as prone to fits of whimsicalness, I do have other reasons to be here than just mere curiosity. The summit is one. Not to mention needing to know more about you in order to find out who is most suitable to teach you about threads.¡±

    ¡°So, this is some sort of interview? ¡±

    ¡°Oh, you bought that? Sure. It is. Look, let me calm you down a little. The whole part about expectations for your future, that¡¯s just musings, imagining and hoping. I would still be here talking with you, even if I knew that you¡¯re not going to become a Chosen. Both because I wanted to and also because that¡¯s my job. I¡¯m in charge of the military and you¡¯re a future asset. Now, you might not think that you¡¯re going to amount to something, but I don¡¯t know that, and also you¡¯re wrong. But even if you¡¯ll ¡®only¡¯ end up as a Ruler in the future, a ¡®regular¡¯ Ruler, today would still be a good use of my time. Especially once I start interrogating you on the whole of Terran pop-culture.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s not happening,¡± Sam said, hoping that he wasn¡¯t showing obvious signs of relaxation.

    ¡°Maybe not today, but we¡¯ll get to that eventually. It¡¯s just a matter of time until you finish your studies and come under my command.¡±

    ¡°That sounds like an abuse of authority.¡±

    ¡°Maybe so, but it will never hold up in court. The judge is my mother.¡±

    ¡°What if I drop out of the academy?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to do that.¡±

    ¡°What makes you so sure of that?¡±

    ¡°The way that I know that you¡¯re going to rise up to my expectations of you: instinct for talent well honed by spending years watching one very talented grow up.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t wait to disappoint you, then.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t wait to be even overawed by your performance than I was expecting to.¡±

    ¡°Do you also suffocate your niece with this weight of expectations?¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately no. She is much too sure of herself to be influenced by my opinion of her. And what¡¯s really annoying is that she always ends up succeeding, so she never has a reason to doubt herself. But I can already see that you¡¯re going to be a much more fun person to mentor.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve already decided on roles? How come you get to be my mentor? We just met today. And after all, you¡¯re not planning to come back and tutor me on the regular now, are you?¡±

    Farris waved him off. ¡°Mentorship is about more than just being there for your student in order to teach them. It¡¯s about the entire nature of the relationship. Which, as your future boss, I get to determine.¡±

    ¡°Do you think that if I recorded you right now and posted it online, people are going to call you out as a creep?¡±

    ¡°No. They¡¯re going to applaud me for being such a caring mentor. And for my foresight in deciding to mentor you when the only thing I knew about you is you¡¯re being one of a kind and your sense of humor.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Fair enough, I guess. But, let me get one thing clear. While I¡¯m still undecided on the whole mentor front, there¡¯s one thing that I am never going to be in relation to you. And that is second in command. Because, we¡¯ve already settled on equating you with Eisenhower, and while I don¡¯t know who was his lieutenant in Europe was, maybe Bradley, maybe Montgomery, I don¡¯t care. I do, however, know who was his second later in life. And I tell you¡­ I am not going to be Tricky Dick!¡± He thumbed his chest. ¡°This is one person who isn¡¯t going to abuse the executive powers of the office of President of the United States of America!¡±

 Chapter 46

    ¡°I¡¯m confused,¡± Farris said. ¡°Who is this Tricky Dick person? Was he a mentee of Eisenhower?¡±

    ¡°Not in the slightest. Wait, you seriously want to tell me that you know who Eisenhower is, but you don¡¯t know Richard Nixon?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Oh Nixon! The ¡®I¡¯m not a crook¡¯ guy. Yeah, I know him. Why¡¯d you call him ¡®Tricky Dick?¡¯ Was he famously a trickster and a dick?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t care to comment about that one way or another, I wasn¡¯t there for the 1950 California senate elections. But I think the name derives most of its humor from only alluding to that fact, and from the rhyming, I guess. Oh, also Dick is also a nickname for Richard, so that¡¯s where it came from.¡±

    ¡°Really? Any Richard?¡±

    ¡°I doubt you could go around calling Richard the Lionheart ¡®Dick,¡¯ but most Richards in the fifties? Go ahead.¡±

    ¡°Fascinating!¡± The gleam in Farris¡¯s eyes indicated that he wasn¡¯t being sarcastic. ¡°See, this is just the kind of thing that I wish to learn from you. I could have spent hours by myself looking up information without finding out about a simple nickname such as that.¡±

    ¡°And then where would your life be?¡±

    ¡°Exactly!¡±

    ¡°Did anyone ever tell you your fascination with Terran culture is unhealthy?¡±

    ¡°Unproductive, yes. Unhealthy, no. A complete waste of time is the usual admonishment. Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re also going to join in on the side of the critics?¡±

    ¡°I just find it a little unsettling to be the target of such a vivid interest. Kind makes me feel like the first Asian guy that an anime nerd from an all white town sees in college. If you get my drift.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fair. Luckily, you¡¯ve still yet to reach that level of weird. Although getting excited at learning a nickname does come close. No wait, never mind, I forgot about you learning English.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t the nickname that gave rise to my excitement. But the methodology behind discovering it. After all, this might be mundane knowledge for you. But for most Terrans, the nineteen-fifties are like a lost golden age. A reminder of the world that they could never return to.¡±

    ¡°Funny. We had the same kind of people in the twenty-first century as well. We, and by ¡®we¡¯ I mean people with some sense in their heads and without prejudice, called them racists. Cause chances are it wasn¡¯t the cross aisle adherence to Keynesian economic policies that they were harkening back to.¡±

    ¡°See, that¡¯s just another thing that fascinates me about Terran culture. In-race racism. Hatred based on color, what a thing!¡±

    Sam groaned. It wasn¡¯t going to turn out to be one of those fantasy tropes, now was it? ¡°Oh c¡¯mon. Don¡¯t tell me the concept of xenophobia because of minute outwardly difference is so foreign to you.¡±

    ¡°Of course it isn¡¯t. I was mostly joking. But it¡¯s pretty much a historical relic at this point. You¡¯ve got to understand that we, and by extension every other race, have been in contact with each other for a long time. And one of the ways time had made its mark is by erasing the old concept of racism that you¡¯re familiar with and replacing it with one based on our modern definition of a race, as an intelligent, magic-capable species.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fine and all. Just as long as you don¡¯t try and claim that you didn¡¯t have the concept of racism in your culture before integration.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. And we certainly did, to a certain extent. But, if you¡¯d let me be so bold as to make this following claim without submitting any peer-reviewed evidence, I do believe it was to a lesser extent that the xenophobic phenomenon that you¡¯re familiar with from your time. Probably due to the different nature of the starting point for our historical developments.¡±

    ¡°Oh? Are you talking about how all of your civilizations started at the same geographical cluster?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. All races, besides yours, that is, followed the same initial trajectory. Except the dwarves maybe, but they have lost all of their written recordings and their oral history makes no sense, so who knows? My point is, we never had the ¡®pleasure¡¯ of developing xenophobia in the same manner which you did because, for us, our aesthetic differences had no correlation to cultural or later national difference. From the start, we elves came in all colors at every point of major settlement. So, for us, racism was a very minor cause of xenophobia when compared to linguistic and cultural differences. Those, by the way, still very much exist, for us and the Imperials, at least. Even after the uniting effects that integration held.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fascinating¡­¡± Sam cupped his chin.

    ¡°To you, maybe. To me, that is the normal state of affairs and it is you Terrans and your multi-faceted histories which are worthy of fascination. Just the thought of sailing somewhere, and arriving on some distant land where the people didn¡¯t have anything in common with yours, is astounding to me.¡±

    ¡°You pick the most boring mundane things to be astounded at. Can¡¯t you be more like a normal new-age spiritualist and act superior to your religious neighbors by pointing out to them the fact that the largest religions in the world borrowed greatly from each other and yet the hatred of the other side, as well as their original mother religion, is deeply ingrained in them?¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s nothing to be astonished by. We also have, had, that. Same origin of civilization makes for pretty similar creation myths. So most of our long-lasting religions were either similar in where and how they developed or similar in how they rejected on their previous iterations.¡±

    ¡°Plenty of holy wars, then?¡±

    ¡°Only at the beginning. Unlike the Imperials or the deshars, our biggest religions didn¡¯t develop a marital aspect. Which, as the importance of individual prowess in warfare rose ever higher, meant that they greatly lagged behind secular centers of power when it came to dictating foreign policy. Which reminds me of yet another aspect of Terran history that I derive great satisfaction from: your wars.¡±

    ¡°What? Elven wars just don¡¯t do it for you? You prefer non-magical combat, without throwing fireballs at the enemy?¡±

    ¡°First of all, no one is throwing fireballs in combat. They¡¯re highly inefficient. And secondly, I wasn¡¯t speaking of the technical aspect of the fighting. But of the causes behind it. The righteousness of some of your wars, the moral superiority of one side as compared to the other. We never really had that until the Epirak war. But you! You have such great examples of black and white wars where it is so easy to decide which side to root for. I mean, the American Civil War, the Second World War, the Cold War. Good guys on one side, bad guys on the other.¡±

    ¡°The Cold War? Really?¡± Sam made a show of looking around as though wondering where he was. ¡°I guess higher education really has changed.¡±

    Farris waved him off. ¡°Even further back in your history, like in the Persian Invasion of Greece, or the Punic Wars. It is obvious who is in the right.¡±

    ¡°Not really. But leaving the Persians and Greeks aside. Who do you think are the good guys in the Punic Wars?¡±

    ¡°Carthage, obviously! The Romans were the upstarts. They attacked them first.¡±

    ¡°Now you¡¯re just messing with me. There¡¯s no way you truly think that, right?¡±

    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re just biased towards Rome because of your proclivity to western heritage¡ª¡±

    ¡°In what world does Carthage not count as part of the ¡®western heritage?¡¯¡±

    ¡°But, as an outside observer, it is clear to me which side was the right one.¡±

    Sam pursed his lips. ¡°And you decided to pick the side that didn¡¯t even try to hide its practice of human sacrifice?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ eh, what? They sacrificed other humans?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much every ancient culture had some form of human sacrifice. It¡¯s just one of those things that every society has got to get out its system at some point. But while the Romans mostly kept their sacrifices to dire times, like when they were losing to Carthage. The Carthaginians were much more into the whole deal. Their specialty was in child sacrifice. Which people act like it¡¯s worse, but I say that you gotta keep in mind that most of those kids were going to die anyway, so why not make their death have some possible meaning?¡±

    ¡°Make sense. If little Tollie is going to die anyway, why not try to score some extra points with your gods if they¡¯re real? At least if they¡¯re killing him humanely. Were they?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I doubt it. What you gotta remember about those people of old is that they greatly resembled your average Sims player. They want to see other people die. And if the dead is an infant, and the death is gruesome, that¡¯s even better.¡±

    Farris cupped his chin as though in deep thought. ¡°And you¡¯re saying that the Romans didn¡¯t do it?¡±

    ¡°Maybe they did, maybe they didn¡¯t, but probably not with the same relish as their Post-Phoenician foe. But it¡¯s not like it matters, anyway. Because, unlike the clear cut other second war you mentioned, right and wrong didn¡¯t play any role in the Romans¡¯ fight with Carthaginians. Both of them wanted to be the sole empire in the region, and they were willing to sustain and inflict a great number of deaths to see it through. To our modern, condemning of imperialistic war, eyes, they should both be counted as the bad guys. Honestly, I think that the reason you believe the Carthaginians were the good guys was that they were introduced to you as the scrappy underdog.

    ¡°What is the first thing you learnt about them? That they lost the First Punic War because the politicians back home were stupid and cowardly, which means that now Carthage is on the back foot compared to their extremely militaristic and younger contender. But wait, the son of the dude who got the blame heaped upon him for losing the first war is a tactical genius and he¡¯s pulled the gamer moves of all gamer moves by placing himself deep in enemy territory with only the unreliable Socii to provide him reinforcement. But wait! He pulled through this one unwinnable battle. No wait, he just did again. But now this Fabian asshole doesn¡¯t want to act like a proper, virile, Roman man and meet him on the field of battle. Good, now that ¡®guy¡¯ is gone and the new consuls will raise the biggest army yet and beat this Hannibal and his elephants back to Iberia. Oh¡­ Yeah, they lost again.

    ¡°But then, Hannibal, like the ultimate underdog that he is doesn¡¯t (or can¡¯t) capitalize on his victory and marches on Rome, and the politicians back home are still stupid as hell and they¡¯re somehow losing a naval war to the most incompetent nation of sailors in the Mediterranean (although the Romans might not have been as bad as commonly portrayed). And Hannibal¡¯s father¡¯s true son has lived up to his father¡¯s name by virtue of later historians being able to blame Carthage¡¯s loss in the war on him. Cause there¡¯s this new Roman general in town. He¡¯s just like Hannibal, only a little less brown, so we don¡¯t like him. And this new guy won over Spain for the Romans. But what you¡¯ve got to remember is that no matter what the numbers tell you, it was the Carthaginians who were on the weaker side in Iberia.

    ¡°And now, soon to be Africanus, the Roman Hannibal, is coming to Carthage itself, so our boy Barca, the African Scipio, is called back because he¡¯s the only capable Punic general. And would you guess it? The underdog doesn¡¯t get his comeuppance in the end, possibly because he underdogged so hard that he made the other side into the underdog, and Hannibal ends up losing the battle and Carthage the war. And if that wasn¡¯t enough, he then ends up killing himself with poison while in exile before the Romans could get to him and parade him like the assholes they are. And that makes us sad. So that make him a good guy. And thus we root for the Carthaginians that he represented and we criticize Rome for being conquering assholes.

    ¡°Did I sum it up about right?¡± he asked at Farris, who was nodding along in rapt attention.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be honest with you. I was mostly joking about Carthage being the good guys. Really, I just knew the bit about the elephants and that¡¯s why I liked them. But now that you¡¯ve laid it bare before me, I have to admit that you¡¯ve convinced of the possibility of there being prejudices in my judgment. After all, who doesn¡¯t want to root for the underdog?¡±

    ¡°Cato the Elder, that¡¯s who.¡±

    ¡°Oh, who¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°You do know I¡¯m not from Roman times, right? The same way that I learned about the Romans is also open to you. You don¡¯t need me to personally teach you about the rise and fall of most people¡¯s favorite empire, now do you? Matter of fact, you don¡¯t want me to teach you, because I¡¯m not an expert in the topic and not only might I not know stuff, I might remember some stuff wrong. So listen to a podcast instead. Why don¡¯t you? Or better yet, do what I do to learn about your history and go read a textbook. Even if learning about Rome has gone completely out of fashion, there are probably still copies online somewhere.¡±

    Farris crossed his hands. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ If I¡¯ll do that, then it would make me feel like you¡¯re not taking the whole mentor business very seriously. Shouldn¡¯t there be some give and take when it comes to the act of teaching?¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about? You¡¯re the mentor. It¡¯s your duty to teach me stuff. My duty is to learn from you. That¡¯s the only exchange of information proscribed in the relationship. Besides, I never even agreed for you to be my mentor yet. Matter of fact, I don¡¯t think you¡¯re even fit to be one, seeing how most of our time talking has been spent on me telling you stuff you didn¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s just not true. You just think that. Because I¡¯m not some emotionless monster that doesn¡¯t show his appreciation when someone teaches me new knowledge. So when I¡¯m more excited and grateful to receive information than you are to from me, you feel as though you¡¯ve allocated more resources towards educating me. When in reality, the scales tip much more in my favor to be counted as the greater granter of knowledge.¡±

    Sam barked a laugh. ¡°So because I¡¯m not acting like a fanboy when I¡¯m asking questions, that makes me an emotionless monster? Need I remind you that I¡¯m currently under the mind-altering effects of magic and of the consequent tact that¡¯s lacking in your statement?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ That¡¯s fair. Let¡¯s strike that from the record, then, shall we?¡±

    Sam turned his head as if pondering. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ it¡¯s going to be hard to do. Gotta say, I don¡¯t think that I could ever see you as my mentor now that you¡¯ve said something so hurtful.¡±

    ¡°Now, now. There¡¯s no reason to be so extreme. If people held every stupid thing I¡¯ve ever said against me, I would be out of a job and probably friendless.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why you gotta make friends with people who are willing to endure your idiocy.¡± Sam pointed to his temple.

    ¡°Quite right. So shall I write you down as one?¡±

    ¡°For being your friend or your mentee? I don¡¯t think those two can coincide.¡±

    ¡°Of course they can. Don¡¯t be ridiculous. What, you think I let anyone else but me be Erianna¡¯s mentor? Of course not. And I assure you, I consider Erianna to be one of my closest friends. And let me tell you, sometimes she can even stand to speak to me for a full five minutes, is how close our relationship is.¡±

    ¡°Not the whole five?¡± Sam gasped.

    ¡°From start to finish. And it¡¯s closer to six if you starting counting from the time from when I start talking instead of from when she relents to talk with me.¡±

    ¡°What a great friendship. And what a brave woman. To stand you as she does. And with only minimal complaints, I assume?¡±

    Farris raised an imaginary glass. ¡°No more than half of the duration of the conversation.¡±

    ¡°Truly, a wonder of human being. Er¡­ elven being.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fine, you can say human being like you did. It translates the meaning correctly.¡±

    Sam nodded in appreciation and raised his own imaginary glass in response. ¡°Indeed? Well, here¡¯s to the first thing I¡¯ve learned from you all day.¡±

    ¡°What about all the other stuff I taught you?¡±

    Sam smacked his lips and averted his eyes. ¡°Uh¡­ they don¡¯t count? I forgot them already? It was before you forced me to accept you as a mentor?¡±

    ¡°So you do accept me as a mentor?¡±

    ¡°Sure, why not? If only so I could write that down in my CV, if this whole fighting thing doesn¡¯t work out. Or, if it works out a little too well.¡±

    ¡°Wonderful! Then let¡¯s shake on it.¡± Sam reached to grab the elf¡¯s outstretched hand with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile. Farris¡¯ hand grasping his was very gentle, considering he could probably crush Sam¡¯s hand if he exerted even the slightest bit of effort. ¡°Fantastic!¡± Farris released his hand and laid two glass bottles on the table. ¡°Let¡¯s have a drink to celebrate the occasion.¡±

    ¡°Coke? Really?

    ¡°Of course. I always keep some on me. Don¡¯t look at me like that. It¡¯s still pretty hard to get outside of the Terran Republic.¡±

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t help your case of not being a weird Terran fanboy.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have you know that this time I am joined by many more throughout the Web in appreciating the production of unique Terran liquids. Your beverages are prized by many people of all races for their taste and longevity. No one process sugar like you Terrans do.¡±

    Sam nodded in agreement. Farris was probably right. And wasn¡¯t Sam himself playing the part of a twenty-first century snob? Shouldn¡¯t he also count the realm of beverages as one in which his period and culture reigned supreme? ¡°But still, a coke? Don¡¯t you have something a little more classic and appropriate for the occasion?¡±

    ¡°You mean alcohol? I don¡¯t like it that much, prefer coke.¡±

    ¡°Me too, actually. I don¡¯t know why I brought it up, really. Weight of cultural expectations, I guess.¡± Sam shrugged and clinked his bottle against Farris¡¯s before they both took a drink. ¡°So what¡¯s first in store for me, teach?¡±

    ¡°Hm? Oh I don¡¯t know. I rather hoped that other people will provide the actual education while I just reap the eventual praises. This is a top-notch facility, after all. And you¡¯re being directly monitored and instructed by one of New Terra¡¯s finest fighters. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s any reason for me to get involved just yet.¡±

    ¡°Kind of sounds like it¡¯s Dan who I should be looking at for mentorship, then.¡±

    ¡°Now listen here! Dan Ritter is a fine man; brave, dependable, and strong as hell. But you know what he doesn¡¯t have? A great sense of humor. Do you want a mentor that will just teach you stuff and get you ready for the battlefield? Or do you want one that will make you fall over in laughter instead?¡±

    ¡°The first one, one-hundred percent. And it¡¯s not even because of the difference in the quality of instruction. I just don¡¯t like the idea of other people being funny in my presence. Runs the risk that others will find them funnier than me, and that just won¡¯t do.¡±

    ¡°Then you¡¯re in luck. It¡¯s been frequently remarked to me that I¡¯m not even a little bit funny. Now, let¡¯s get to teaching, shall we?¡±

    ¡°Oh? I thought that you already taught me a bunch of stuff.¡±

    Farris waved him off. ¡°I did, but this is going to be a more classic part of the curriculum. Something that every twelve-years-old starts learning after a very special day.¡±

    ¡°Gathering?¡± asked the twenty-two-year-old on the morning of his very special day.

    ¡°Indeed. So, there are two types, modes, of gathering. The first one doesn¡¯t require much instructions, and is called, very aptly, passive gathering. Can you guess what the second one is called?¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re going to be my mentor, there¡¯s probably one thing you should know about me. I don¡¯t like when teachers ask the class a question with an obvious answer. It just wastes time.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right, active gathering, we¡¯ll done. But we¡¯ll start with passive gathering, since there isn¡¯t much you need to know about it just yet. It builds upon your core¡¯s natural inclination to gather energy. The core passively gathers energy from its surrounding, if there is such energy to be found, and as long as the core is full, the incoming energy will be spent increasing its capacity.¡±

    ¡°And since most old people aren¡¯t running around as level 8s, I¡¯m going to assume that it¡¯s efficiency is fuck all.¡±

    ¡°For all intents and purposes. Especially for people like you who are going to make frequent use of their magic. There are, of course, patterns that help speed up the process of passive gathering, but the process is still much slower than active gathering. For example, how filled would you say your core is currently?¡±

    Sam was loath to turn his attention back to the niggling irritant that was his magic and the unexplainable metaphysical object that was his core. Nevertheless, duty called in the form of being a good student. So he turned his attention onto his right heel, just where he left his core. The instinctual tunnel into the concept was still there, and soon enough, Sam found himself observing his storage for magical energy once again. ¡°About a quarter,¡± he said, although he couldn¡¯t explain how he came to that immediate realization.

    Farris nodded. ¡°Sounds about right. So let¡¯s say that with the best patterns to help with passive gathering, that¡¯s still an hour or so before your core can increase its capacity on it¡¯s own. And you probably already figured it out, but it takes way more energy to increase capacity than to replenish the same amount. So even when you¡¯re full, passive gathering isn¡¯t all that great.¡±

    ¡°Makes sense. So is there a formula for that? Like for every third of my capacity that I put in, I will increase it by a thirtieth?¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°Try dividing that by a thousand or so and maybe you¡¯ll be close. There isn¡¯t a formula, unfortunately. Not to mention that the amount you need to put in changes from person to person and according to the state of your core and what level you are. But just remember that it¡¯s exponentially harder to increase capacity than it is to refill. So never skip on refilling first, even if you are in a completely safe space. It¡¯s better to waste some time in order to keep the habit going than to risk forgetting it just when you need it.¡±

    ¡°I assume you¡¯re talking about actively gathering now?¡±

    ¡°Indeed, like I said, there isn¡¯t much to talk about passive gathering with you right now. Even later, you won¡¯t be learning about it in gathering lessons, but in patterns. Finding out which works best for you and how to change them to fit even better. So when you hear someone speaking of gathering, they¡¯ll pretty much always be speaking about active gathering, which saves the need for the mouthful. All clear, then? Pretty simple, right?¡±

    So far, Sam was grasping everything his new mentor was set on teaching him. Which of course worried him to no end because if he was getting it so easily, then that must mean that he must have gotten something wrong. This was, is, magic, after all. Surely it didn¡¯t work in so simple a world of concepts. Why did they have a three years of gathering courses in the academy if the theory was so basic as to be handily delivered in a single morning before even breakfast? ¡°So if got everything so far.¡± Sam opted to try and probe as to the possible depths of his ignorance. ¡°I don¡¯t need to think about passive gathering at all, because my body and patterns will do that for me.¡±

    ¡°Correct. Now you¡¯re going to want and ask how do you actually gather, no?¡±

    ¡°That was my third question, actually. I was first going to ask what is the role of patterns in active gathering? And after that, why, if the subject is so simple to understand, are there academic courses about gathering?¡±

    ¡°You really don¡¯t leave any stone unturned, do you? I was hoping to get to the practical and fun part of the lecture, where I would get to see you squirm and flail in your amateurish attempt to gather for the first time.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m here until Sarah calls me for breakfast. So whether you¡¯ll get to see me squirm rests solely on your shoulders and the pace at which you decide to teach me stuff.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I should get to answering your questions then. Very well. Onto your first: There are no patterns to aid in active gathering. Using them is, if not literally impossible, practically impossible if you want to make efficient use of your time. The sustained patterns we use for passive gathering are building on our bodies¡¯ natural function to gather energy. They don¡¯t directly gather it. Active gathering, as you¡¯ll soon see, is an incredibly difficult process for a living, thinking being to complete. Magic is ever shifting and requires constant redirection in order for us to make use of it. No pattern, no matter how ingenious, is able to mimic our mind¡¯s ability to gather energy into our own body.¡±

    ¡°What about artifacts? Didn¡¯t you say that the translator had the capability of gathering?¡±

    ¡°It is, and a very good one at that. Way better than even our best artifacts. But artifacts and other magical constructs are very different from living beings, which is what allows them to gather through patterns. They have no need for the second stage of gathering, which is what trips up patterns that seek to gather through our living bodies. This will all make a lot more sense if you¡¯ll just let me explain how gathering actually works.¡±

    Sam waved him off. ¡°Answer my second question first.¡±

    ¡°Haven¡¯t I already? I haven¡¯t truly begun to explain gathering to you, only the two different types of gathering and how they work conceptually. Active gathering is a complex field of study, believe me. You¡¯re going to need all the classes in the subject that you¡¯re going to get in the next two and a half years. And that¡¯s just for the knowledge side of things. There is also your ability to bring your understanding into practice. For example, even if you can, or think you can, gather in a quite room with no distractions and your core full, do you think you could accomplish it just as easily in the middle of combat, when your core is running half on empty and you¡¯re juggling between tracing and maintaining some of your crucial patterns?¡±

    ¡°I feel like you want me to say no¡­¡±

    ¡°Correct, you won¡¯t. But that¡¯s a moot point because you still don¡¯t know how hard even ¡®simple,¡¯ pre-foundational gathering is. So, let¡¯s get to it then, shall we?¡±

    ¡°Wait.¡± Sam held up his hand and emptying the rest of his bottle. ¡°OK, go on.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. It gives me great pleasure that you¡¯ve allowed me so generously to teach you¡ª¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that? Is my phone ringing, calling me to wet my thirst and break my fast?¡±

    ¡°There are three stages to active gathering. The first is finding the energy in the outside world. You¡¯ll learn soon enough the two foundational theories to this stage, but I won¡¯t tell you about them cause you don¡¯t need to know yet and also I wanted to confirm something. The second stage is taking the energy into your body. It¡¯s the easiest one because it¡¯s pure instinct. Instinct that patterns don¡¯t have, which is why they can¡¯t hack it. The third is making use of the energy for whatever purpose you desire; for the body, to refill the core, or to increase its capacity. The difference between the first two and the latter purpose is the reason for differentiating between the terms gathering and cultivating. But you can see the difference between the two as nonsense, which doesn¡¯t matter to you because you¡¯ll never work on increasing capacity without your core being full, right?¡±

    ¡°Yep. And I don¡¯t need to care about gathering into my body cause I don¡¯t have the patterns yet to make it worthwhile?¡±

    ¡°Good. I see someone has already been teaching you about body nourishment. But not quite right. In my opinion, even with the patterns, it¡¯s usually not worth it for people to gather into their body for the purpose of nourishing it. You¡¯re better off using that time for cultivation. Of course, gathering into the body might be useful during injury, if you¡¯re lacking any patterns to divert that energy to, and knowledge of will to trace a self-healing tracing.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°So three stages of gathering and three functions for the last stage. That doesn¡¯t sound so complicated.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s always easier to grasp the concepts in gathering than carrying them out in reality. For example: even for you, the first step will be the incredibly difficult to complete for quite a while. And it remains as such for most people throughout their entire life. The second step: we talked about, isn¡¯t hard for us superior thinking organisms, so be thankful for that. And the third¡¯s difficultly depends on what you wish the magic for: Nourishing your body? No problem, that¡¯s as simple as tracing energy through to it. Refilling the core? Easy enough, just take the magic and drop it in there. Increasing its capacity? Heh. That¡¯s where the real difficulty begins.

    ¡°The best way for increasing capacity is perhaps the biggest field in magical research. Everyone trying to create new methods, rework older ones, and find out which one is best. But, the truth is... it¡¯s probably going to remain an eternal pursuit. You¡¯re going to learn about a lot of different methods of how to enlarge your core. You¡¯re going to try all of them. Some are going to work great. Some are going to be shit. Then, one day, the previous and latter types will switch, but it won¡¯t matter to you cause you¡¯ve already moved to a third type that isn¡¯t as considered as good as the others but for some reason comes most easily for you. And eventually, in the far off future, you¡¯re going to find out that everything you¡¯ve ever learned about cultivating, and even gathering as a whole, is somewhat wrong because it was aimed at being somewhat right for everyone in existence and you¡¯re going to have to pave your own path to the higher levels. Or don¡¯t, just use the most basic seeking and excavating techniques and as long as you persevere, you¡¯ll find your way to level 8 eventually. Plenty of other people did.¡±

    ¡°What happens after level 8?¡±

    ¡°Things change. Don¡¯t bother worrying about it. If you¡¯ve made it to level 8, then the change in gathering isn¡¯t going to be what blocks your future progress.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s going to be the level 9 and 10 patterns, then?¡±

    ¡°Well done. Picking up all sorts of knowledge, I see. So are we all clear? Can we move on to practice?¡±

    ¡°Just one question,¡± Sam said, easily ignoring Farris¡¯ grumble. ¡°You said that during the third stage you can use the energy you gathered for you body¡¯s improvement. What I¡¯m not clear about is why not just use the magic from your core?¡±

    ¡°You can use the energy from your core, sure, but why would you? Keeping your core topped at all times is your number one prerogative, remember? Plus, you want to train your skill with gathering¡¯s first stage. So if you¡¯re gathering for nourishments you¡¯re killing two birds with one stone, and if you¡¯re gathering for bodily injury, you¡¯re probably running on an empty core anyway. Of course, there are some idiots who believe that magic gathered makes the body stronger than magic taken from the core. We aren¡¯t one of those idiots. We don¡¯t believe that hogwash. Not only does it not make logical sense, it doesn¡¯t make scientific sense. Magic is magic, yeah?¡±

    ¡°Of course. What else would magic be?¡± Insert a line about sufficiently advanced science.

    ¡°Good. So now, we can finally move on to training¡ª¡± Sam¡¯s phone chimed. Farris narrowed his eyes at him. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­¡± he said, while Sam was taking out his phone to check the incoming message.

    ¡°You¡¯re in luck,¡± Sam said. ¡°It¡¯s just Dan telling me to come to his office after I finish eating breakfast.¡±

    ¡°I knew I should have given that bastard more work. Whatever, we¡¯re moving on. First step of gathering, try and sense the magic around you and grab hold of it.¡± Farris smiled widely.

    Sam closed his eyes, thinking that he was going to do it with relative ease, just like tracing turned out to be. A minute passed before he opened his eyes and ask with a frown. ¡°What do you mean, sense the magic?¡±

    ¡°Just what it sounds like. There¡¯s magic everywhere around you. All you need is to reach out and grab it.¡±

    ¡°Are you saying that there¡¯s magic here?¡± Sam waved his hand around frantically. Farris nodded, his smile somehow growing wider. ¡°What are you talking about? It¡¯s just air.¡±

    ¡°And a fuck ton of magical energy up for grabs. After all, there¡¯s a direct correlation between this world being named New Terra and my family¡¯s efforts at centralization being held up by decades. I assure you, there¡¯s plenty of magic to be found.¡±

    ¡°You mean to tell me that you can sense magic? Right here on the table?¡±

    ¡°And under it. Of course, I¡¯m a Ruler and I¡¯m working with¡­ heh, different rules than you are. But I¡¯m sure that any of your new friends would be able to sense the abundant magic as well. It seems that you have. What do they call it? A skill issue? Perhaps you ought to¡­ get good?¡±

    ¡°You know¡­ I was beginning to panic. But you shitheeling around actually calmed me a great bit. So what¡¯s the secret then? How do I actually sense magic?¡±

    ¡°No secret. You just have to send out your senses until you manage to hone in on the outside energy. Of course, there are beginner tips: Close your eyes, but that¡¯s so elementary that you¡¯ve already done that. Next, focus on a single point in the space, the top of your head, for example, or rather, the air slightly above it. Picture it in your mind¡¯s eye. Imagine that there must be magic there. And know, that the magic will feel the same way that it does when it¡¯s in your core; when it¡¯s tracing through your body. Focus on the outside, while also keeping touch with the sensation that your magic makes you feel. You¡¯ll get it eventually, I assure you. Try again.¡±

    Sam did as he was told. And this time he held on for what felt like two minutes before he opened his eyes once again, same old frown painting his face. He only had to see Farris¡¯ nod and encouraging look before grumbling and closing his eyes once again. Another minute followed. Nothing. Another. Still nothing. Many more minutes passed, or at least seemed to him as having gone by, and he was still stumped by the prospect of feeling something outside of his own body.

    With a grunt, he took hold of his emotions and tried following Farris¡¯s directions once again. First, holding the picture of the empty air above his scalp in his in the blackness of the visual field behind his closed eyelids. Then, he superimposed the same feeling he got while looking at his core, the same existence that he thought of as magic, onto the picture. Next, telling himself that there was magic out there, above him, just like it was deceptively inside him, and all he had to do was reach out and grab it. He failed to do so for the first minute after his reignited resolve. The second and third as well. A couple more passed before he had to steel his crumbled resolve once again and repeat the process all over. This time, he succeeded before the minute passed. There was magic above him. The same feeling that was accessed from his right heel was also in the air, at the tip of his imaginary fingers.

    And just like that, it was gone. ¡°Fuck!¡± Sam burst out.

    ¡°Had it and then you lost it, have you? Happens to everyone at first. Not me or Erianna, though, of course. We managed to hold on to it for a couple of seconds before losing it. But in our defense, we were twelve.¡±

    ¡°In my defense, fuck you. And also it¡¯s not like I had much practice with magic in the ten years I have on your young self.¡±

    ¡°Try again. You¡¯ll get it faster this time.¡± He did, but it still took him a couple of minutes before he once again held magic with his thoughts. He focused on holding the invisible energy, trying not to focus on the fact that this was only the first part of the first step. Amazingly, he managed to hold on to the magic just fine for yet another minute before he opened his mouth to ask Farris what to do now. Which is, of course, when he lost it once again. Farris laughed when he saw his crestfallen face. ¡°Don¡¯t let it get to you. Now, next time you manage to sense the magic, try and direct it into your body, preferably into the part of it where you pictured your core to be. That will be the second half of the first step.¡±

    ¡°And the second step?¡±

    ¡°Will be easy. Go by instinct. Instead of the magic just being in the same place where your body is, you want it to be inside of it. You¡¯ll see once you try.¡±

    And try he did. Sensing the magic didn¡¯t come any faster this time, but once he grabbed hold of it, he tried gently guiding it downwards towards his sole. And of course I had to choose my fucking heel, he angrily remarked to himself, which was probably the reason why he, a moment later, lost his hold on the magic. It had just made it to his chin. Second try was better, he made it all the way to his groin before the words ¡°magic dick¡± popped into his head. He opted to stray right at the navel on the next try.

    Which turned out to be the one. He held the magical energy at the same spot which he conceptualized the entrance of his core to be. Guided by Farris¡¯ instruction, he followed what came most naturally, trying to let instinct take over. It worked, amazingly enough. One moment, the magic was arranged at the same spot his heel was, but clearly out of it. And the other, it was inside of him, feeling just like the magic had when he was tracing. He still wasn¡¯t sure what instinct he was supposedly guided by, but it still worked. Like it was halfway between a mental command and a physical one.

    Thinking one step ahead, onto the third one, Sam tried drawing the magic in his heel into his core and was surprised to find out that he succeeded at the first try. However, the sensation from the magic he was holding was quickly drowned out by the sensation from the rest of the magic in his core, and he found out a moment later that he lost his hold on it. ¡°I did it,¡± he said. ¡°I even managed to get it into my core, but then I lost it.¡±

    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s to be expected. It¡¯s going to take you some time before you¡¯re able to hold on to the magic inside your core, and way longer than that when it isn¡¯t full. Which is just fine, because we what?¡±

    ¡°If I can¡¯t hold on to the magic, how can I practice the third step?¡±

    ¡°Try again.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m serious.¡±

    ¡°So am I. What do we always do first?¡±

    ¡°Refill.¡± Sam relented with a sigh.

    ¡°Exactly. And what you did just now was refill your core. Luckily for you, however, we can move on to the final part of the lesson thanks to the fact that distinguished enough persons, like myself and your after breakfast appointment, are strong enough, and practiced enough, in order to refill your core for you. And that¡¯s not a treatment many people are able to afford, let me tell you. Just ask your friends. Of course, at the end of the day, it¡¯s a crutch, and you¡¯ll do best to make very sparing use of others¡¯ help in refilling your core. But I think that today qualifies for such an occasion. Now, give me your hand.¡± Sam obliged. ¡°Now close your eyes and think of England.¡± Farris laughed.

    ¡°Ugh¡­¡± Sam shivered all the way up his spine. ¡°You just had to say that, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t miss such a golden chance,¡± Farris smiled and leaned back, releasing his hand.

    ¡°That¡¯s it?¡±

    ¡°Check your core.¡± Sam did and was surprised to discover that his core was, once again, filled to the brim. How he knew that, he still wasn¡¯t sure. ¡°Now, let¡¯s trying ¡®cultivating,¡¯ shall we?¡± Farris rubbed his hands together. ¡°Just keep guiding the magic into the core. It¡¯s full, so it will try to reject you. Fight it, focus on a single spot ¡®in it¡¯ and push against it with all of your mental might. And eventually you¡¯ll find that the magic you held is gone and that your core¡¯s capacity has increased by an imperceptible difference.¡±

    Sam gulped and tried to shut away his mounting concern, mainly about the difficulty of what he was going to try and do next. But there was also plenty of anxiety about how he was going to manage in the future. Level 10 in five years. Level 10 in five years. The phrase kept echoing through his head. Which was probably the reason why this time it took him longer than before to sense the magic. On the upside, he surprised himself by being able to direct it all the way to his heel on his first try and just as easy as before, into his body the energy went. A moment later, it was back again in his core, only this time it couldn¡¯t find its way in and was, to Sam¡¯s new sense, just on the precipice of the doorway between his body and his core, but in such a way that he could still retain his awareness and thus hold of it. Keeping to Farris¡¯ instructions, he tried to keep pushing the energy through, into his core. While keeping up the pushing act, he was somehow able to note that the magic kept leaking, for a lack of a better word, out of his core and back into his body, where it behaved just like traced magic did and was slowly dissipating. Eventually, he was left holding no magic. He opened his eyes with a puzzled look on his face.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Farris said before Sam could speak. ¡°That just how it¡¯s going to feel for the time being. Point is, you were holding the energy, and it had to go somewhere, didn¡¯t it? So even if it didn¡¯t feel like it, I assure you, it went towards enlarging your core.¡±

    ¡°But how do I know that it didn¡¯t all simply got wasted by returning to my body?¡±

    Farris raised his eyebrows in surprise. ¡°Oh, managed to notice that, did you? Don¡¯t worry about it, it¡¯s just one of the downside of this brute force method. There¡¯s a reason none of the techniques I taught you today have any names. But I assure you, most of your magic went towards increasing capacity. No need to worry about it. Now, just keep doing that until your friends call and invite your to breakfast, and you¡¯ll be able to tell them all about how you were gathering all morning.¡±

 Chapter 47

    Sam was in the middle of the first stage, guiding the magical energy down to his heel, when Sarah¡¯s call finally came, as signified by the sound of the still default ringtone. Sam quickly lost the magic but, nonetheless, let out a long breath of relaxation. He was finally done with gathering for now. The process lost its allure of mystique once he was on his third successful run and was growing bored with figuratively grinding Sisyphus¡¯ boulder into dust. ¡°Hello?¡± he answered the phone, trying to ignore Farris over-emoting his dismay that their time was over.

    ¡°Sam?¡± Sarah said. ¡°Why are you out of breath?¡±

    ¡°Oh, was I? Must have been holding it without noticing, but I¡¯m fine, really. I was just in the middle of practicing gathering, actually.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± the excitement in Sarah¡¯s voice immediately replaced the worry that was previously tinting it. ¡°That¡¯s great! We¡¯re just finished at the gym, so let¡¯s meet where we ate yesterday and then you could tell me all about it, OK? Are you with Dan?¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m actually with¡ª¡±

    ¡°Great! See you there, bye!¡± Farris lunged over the table, managing to grab the phone out of Sam¡¯s hand and end the call before Sam even realized what had happened.

    ¡°What the fuck, man? Never heard of the famous Terran concept of personal space and private property?¡± Sam took his phone back from Farris¡¯s hands, the elf making no effort to prevent him the reclamation.

    ¡°I was just making sure you weren¡¯t going to blow the surprise.¡± Farris, unabashedly, gave him a thumbs up.

    ¡°What bloody surprise?¡±

    ¡°Who your new mentor is, of course.¡±

    ¡°And how did screaming wildly into the phone not ruin it?¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t know what I sound like, could have been anyone. Could even have been you, if she wasn¡¯t paying attention.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s some level of inattention you¡¯re requiring of her. But alas, something tells me she figured out it wasn¡¯t me,¡± Sam said as he returned his phone to his pocket. Having had to message Sarah back¡ªreassuring her that he was fine¡ªfollowing her barrage of frantic messages.

    Farris waved him off. ¡°It¡¯s fine. As long as she wasn¡¯t on speaker and Yvessa wasn¡¯t nearby, she isn¡¯t very likely to recognize who I am off of my voice.¡±

    Sam shook his head and began making his way towards the mess hall, not surprised in the slightest to have Farris continue to follow him. ¡°So you¡¯re still coming to breakfast?¡±

    ¡°An elf¡¯s got to eat. And a general has got to meet the two other people who comprise half of the Terran Republic¡¯s most promising prospects.¡±

    ¡°Two other? Oh, because you know Yvessa from her time in Maynil?¡±

    ¡°Indeed, although more through Erianna than official state functions. I don¡¯t much go to those. Not that I know her all that well, though. I don¡¯t believe she ever had the pleasure of talking one on one with me.¡±

    ¡°Really? She didn¡¯t mention that she was incredibly fucking lucky. Wonder if she¡¯s got any tips for how to keep you at bay.¡±

    ¡°None that would work for you, I¡¯m afraid. And besides, now that she¡¯s out of her best friend¡¯s shadow, and walking on her own path to greatness. She¡¯s headed straight for a head on collision with yours truly. All your friends are. And don¡¯t think that just because Sarah Khan was a kid when she was taken that I¡¯m not interested in her as well.¡±

    ¡°Wow. You¡¯ve almost managed not to sound like a total creep. Better luck next time¡­ So just so I¡¯m all clear, Yvessa¡¯s best friend is your niece, right?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    ¡°You know what this reminds me of? The question of the equivocal nature of relationships and how much anxiety it used to give me. Like, in this example, is Erianna also Yvessa¡¯s best friend or does the best-friendship only extend one way?¡±

    Farris drew a breath. ¡°Now that¡¯s a hard question you¡¯ve put before me. I¡¯m afraid that I¡¯m not so well versed in their relationship as to give you a definite answer.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s just not true. Cause obviously it was your niece who informed you of her relation to Yvessa, seeing as you¡¯ve never spoken with Yvessa privately. That must mean that it is her who is best friend to Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°By god you are right! Are you saying that Yvessa might not feel her relationship with Erianna is as close as Erianna believes it to be? That is most grave. You¡¯ll have to ask her about it.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Sure yeah, cause that¡¯s a thing you ask a person. ¡®Hey Yv, you know that friend you have back home, who also happens to be the niece of this very crude, powerful general, do you think of her as your best friend like she does? Or is she more of just a good friend to you? Keep in mind that anything you say will most definitely come back to the¡­ princess? Yes, princess in question.¡¯ This is just one of those things that you ask someone you¡¯ve just met yesterday. It goes: ¡®Where did you grow up? Both cats and dogs or are you an asshole?¡¯ And right after it¡¯s: ¡®Is the status of one of your most important relationships seen the same way by both of you, or is one of you stiffing the other?¡¯ And once you¡¯ve got that question down, it¡¯s smooth sailing all the way to Friendsgiving.¡±

    ¡°I think that you had a point somewhere there, but it got lost beneath all the sarcasm.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good one. Did you think of that yourself, or did your genius niece write it down for you?¡±

    ¡°Jokes on you because she¡¯s never written me anything.¡± Farris theatrically wiped his eyes and sniffed. ¡°Not even on my birthday.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll I¡¯m sure that if you manage to ruin her relationship with her best friend, by asking said friend a stupid question, she¡¯ll write you something.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why I wanted you to ask her that. You don¡¯t care what Erianna thinks of you.¡±

    ¡°I have social anxiety. I care what people who I¡¯ve never met and are going to die in two days are going to think of me. Not to mention what my anxiety thinks of making people who don¡¯t deserve it feel unhappy.¡±

    ¡°What about people who do deserve it?¡±

    ¡°It can get quite extreme. Let¡¯s just say that if we¡¯re speaking about a certain kind of people, I wouldn¡¯t trust me with a Death Note and facial recognition software.¡±

    ¡°And Yvessa isn¡¯t one of those people, right?¡±

    ¡°We won¡¯t know until we see what happens when she¡¯s in a not empty bus and gets a call from a friend.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s very specific.¡±

    ¡°Not for anyone who¡¯s ever had to commute by public transport. Honestly, I¡¯m surprised you¡¯re not asking me what a Death Note is.¡±

    ¡°I was just thinking of that! I think that I managed to infer the meaning, but I¡¯m still wondering¡ª¡±

    ¡°Too late. We¡¯re here.¡± Sam pointed to the building in front of them and quickly went inside. Only to have his new mentor completely on his coattails.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to find out what that is,¡± Sam¡¯s shadow spoke from his left shoulder. ¡°So you might as well just tell me now.¡±

    ¡°Or, you could just google it while you have some free time. Say in the middle of a meeting with the top brass of the military, maybe?¡± Farris didn¡¯t answer, but he did whip out his phone, which immediately made Sam immediately feel uncomfortable. Elves weren¡¯t supposed to use phones.

    ¡°So I looked it up, and it¡¯s pretty much what I thought it was, minus the bit about needing a name, which I guess explains why you wanted facial recognition.¡± He pointed to Sam¡¯s filled tray. ¡°You going to get something else, or should we go find a sit? I think people are starting to recognize me.¡±

    Sam looked around. ¡°No one¡¯s looking at you. And most people aren¡¯t even looking at me anymore, thank god. Let me just check my phone. They should have already found a table. Yep, they¡¯re at the back.¡±

    ¡°Well I could have told you that.¡±

    ¡°How exactly?¡±

    ¡°Same way I know people won¡¯t be able to recognize me.¡± He smiled. ¡°Magic.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re an ass, you know that? You¡¯re the one who said that I shouldn¡¯t be learning anything about threads and you won¡¯t be teaching me. And yet you keep dropping hints to it.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t teaching. That was only alluding. Hinting ain¡¯t a crime. Not my fault you can¡¯t open your Threadsight without starting to lose your sense of self. Besides, I could have been talking about any other aspect of magic, nothing to do with threads necessarily.¡±

    Sam clicked his tongue. ¡°Except you just confirmed it so¡­ And also, you¡¯ve done it again. I learned something new. That I wasn¡¯t supposed to know that yet, so that¡¯s also on you.¡± Farris opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by someone calling Sam¡¯s name. Sam made his way to the waving Sarah. She pointed to the empty sit next to her while looking quizzically at Farris next to him. Opposite her were sat Felix and Yvessa. Neither bothered to turn their heads at that point, which proved to be a mistake in the following second.

    Before Sam could close the distance to the table, Farris rushed ahead of him, dropping his tray at his left side where it followed behind him on empty air, and put his hands on each shoulder of the promising young Terrans with their backs to him. ¡°Hello all!¡± the Ruler called with what Sam couldn¡¯t see but assumed was a wide smile. ¡°Quick question: how would you rate your educational journey in this fine institution so far?¡±

    Felix jerked in surprise and cried, ¡°What?¡± once his shoulder was touched. But he was completely outdone by Yvessa, jumping in her sit and turning around with a wide frown. Which only deepened once she recognized the person still holding her shoulder. ¡°Fucking hell!¡± she yelled, drawing attention to their table. And then in a lower volume, but still as irritated: ¡°What the fuck Farris?! Couldn¡¯t say hello like a normal person?¡±

    ¡°Farris?¡± Felix asked, his eyes widening in surprise. Sam, meanwhile, gave Sarah an apologetic nod while taking his sit next to her. She was somehow still able to keep her focus more on him. ¡°You¡¯re Farris?¡± Felix continued, ¡°Farris Ninae? The general?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± answered three people simultaneously. ¡°Unfortunately,¡± added Yvessa. She jerked in her sit once again. ¡°Will you please get your hand of off me?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, sorry,¡± Farris insincerely apologized with a laugh. ¡°I was just so excited to meet you guys! Sarah and Felix! And you, Yvessa, as well! It¡¯s been so long since we last saw each other; you¡¯ve gotten so big!¡± He sat down on the side of the table, next to Sarah and Yvessa, his tray calmly floating to the spot in front of him.

    ¡°It¡¯s only been half a year,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Yes, exactly! And isn¡¯t half a year like half a lifetime for you young folks?¡±

    ¡°No. What are you doing here? And why are you with Sam, of all people?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean ¡®of all people?¡¯¡±

    ¡°I allow it.¡± Sam shrugged.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know that you knew Farris Ninae,¡± Felix told Yvessa.

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t I know him? He¡¯s my best friend¡¯s uncle.¡± Sam and Farris exchanged meaningful looks. ¡°Not to mention that we were bound to meet in the few official events that he deigned to go to. I even met her grandmother a couple of times.¡±

    Now was Sarah¡¯s turn to show surprise as she gasped. ¡°The Chosen?¡±

    ¡°Obviously. I don¡¯t get it. Why are you guys so surprised by this? I¡¯ve told you about Erianna plenty of times already.¡±

    ¡°Not all of us,¡± Sam said, which earned him a roll of the eyes.

    ¡°Still,¡± Farris said, ¡°there is a difference between you being my niece¡¯s best friend¡ªand her being your best friend, of course.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Sam echoed him.

    ¡°To you having had the pleasure of meeting, and not just meeting, but knowing esteemed figures such as myself and my mother.¡±

    Yvessa rolled her eyes. ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question.¡±

    ¡°Which was? I¡¯ve been getting so many today.¡±

    ¡°Ass.¡± Sam coughed into his hand.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°And why were you with Sam? Did you do something to him?¡±

    ¡°Yes, he did!¡± Sam cried out, trying to make his voice sound choked. ¡°And if you give me a doll, I could show you all just where!¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Sarah slapped the table, alternating looks between Sam and the accused elf.

    ¡°It¡¯s just a joke,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°It¡¯s not funny. Don¡¯t joke about stuff like that.¡± Sam was saved from having to tell her that it was funny, and that no joke was off the table when it was at his expense, by Sarah turning on Farris. Not showcasing in the slightest that she cared that he was the child of the Chosen whose mention had caused her great surprise just a moment ago. ¡°So what were you doing, really? And no jokes this time, from either of you.¡±

    ¡°Ehm¡­¡± Felix raised his hand. ¡°Could I make a joke?¡± Sam gave him a thumbs up, nicely done Felix. However, his gesture was overshadowed by the scathing looks that the two women gave him. ¡°Never mind, I¡¯ll save it for later.¡±

    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    ¡°Well?¡± Sarah asked Farris as all turned eyes turned on the elf.

    ¡°Sam, how about you answer?¡± Farris said while taking a painfully small bite of his food.

    ¡°No I think I¡¯ll leave that job to you. After all, it¡¯s only right¡­ teach.¡±

    Farris and Sam exchanged narrowed looks while Sarah gave an exasperated grunt between them. ¡°What is that supposed to mean, ¡®teach?¡¯ Oh! Was he teaching you about threads because he¡¯s a Ruler?¡±

    ¡°Ooh, she¡¯s sharp,¡± Farris said.

    ¡°What?¡± Sam asked. ¡°That¡¯s not what you were doing. We just talked about it. How short is your memory?¡±

    Farris threw up his hands with a confused face. ¡°It was the first thing I taught you today. Literally the reason for our first interaction.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you mean the one where you came out of nowhere without introducing yourself and made stupid annoying jokes while I was blind?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°You were blind?¡±

    ¡°Only for a little bit.¡±

    ¡°Because of the Thread-Weaver thing, right?¡± Yvessa asked, and Sam nodded in response. ¡°Makes sense. Erianna told me the same thing happened to her. So the both of you had to take a look at Farris in all his glory before you could turn it off? Sucks.¡±

    ¡°Turn what off?¡± Sarah demanded.

    ¡°It¡¯s the Threadsight,¡± Sam said and went on explaning to her the intricacies behind his morning bout of blindness.

    ¡°OK¡­ so you¡¯re alright now then?¡±

    ¡°Yep. As fucked up as I ever was. What? C¡¯mon¡­ That was way too easy.¡±

    ¡°Still, you could have told him what you were doing beforehand,¡± Felix told Farris. ¡°It sounded like you figuratively sucker punched him when you had him open his eyes with no warning.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but that would have been way less fun,¡± Farris said.

    ¡°And why is your enjoyment the main thing you¡¯re concerned about when you help someone?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Hang on,¡± Sam said, ¡°but I gotta side with Farris on this one.¡±

    ¡°Of course you do.¡± Sarah sighed.

    ¡°Not on the not explaining beforehand bit, that¡¯s bullshit, and he¡¯s an asshole cause of that. But fun is definitely a factor one can consider before they set out to help someone. Now, I¡¯m not saying that you shouldn¡¯t swim out to save a drowning kid cause you don¡¯t like swimming. But, if say a friend ask you to help them move out, then there¡¯s the expectation that you¡¯re also going to have fun and make jokes during that time. If they¡¯re just going to be silent and moody all the way through, then that might be a good reason not to offer him help.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Felix said, ¡°but that also depends on how good a friend they are. Like if you¡¯re really close, then you should be going to help them even if it¡¯s not fun. But if you barely talked in the last five years, and they only asked you because you have a truck, then yeah, fun is a factor.¡±

    ¡°Good point.¡± Sam wagged his finger in agreement.

    ¡°Are you done?¡± Yvessa asked in a tone that assured Sam and Felix that they were, in fact, done. ¡°Because I still haven¡¯t gotten an answer to my first question. Farris, you didn¡¯t have to come all the way here just to help Sam. You could have sent another Ruler in your stead or just have one of ours help him. Not to mention now knowing when Sam will have his Awakening. So why are you really here?¡±

    ¡°I was going to be on New Terra today anyway,¡± Farris lied. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s funny. Because I was just talking to both my mom and Erianna yesterday, and neither of them mentioned anything about you planning to visit.¡±

    ¡°You talked to them? Just yesterday? Curious¡­ very curious indeed. I know! It must have something to do with my meeting with the military today being top secret. So that¡¯s why your mother doesn¡¯t know about it yet.¡±

    ¡°And Erianna?¡±

    ¡°We¡­¡± Farris choked up, wiping actual (fake) tears from his eyes. ¡°We don¡¯t really talk anymore. You know how it is with teenagers: one minute they love you and want to be just like you when they grew up. The next minute, they hate you, and, together with their best friend, decide to focus only on fighting with a sword.¡±

    Yvessa¡¯s face was blank. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m calling bullshit on that. Sam?¡±

    ¡°Mhm?¡±

    ¡°Why is he really here?¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s a little complex. But the short of it is that he really wanted to meet me, for a plethora of reasons, some stupid and some even more stupid. And he also had some stuff that he wanted to talk about with our, the republic¡¯s that is, general staff, so he decided immediately to call for an a summit with them in order for him to have an excuse to be here on New Terra.¡±

    ¡°Summit about what?¡± Felix asked, his elbows only narrowly missing his plate.

    ¡°What reasons?¡± Sarah asked at the same time.

    ¡°Military stuff. Logistics, I don¡¯t know. The only thing I know for certain is that Dan had to compile a report about the success rate of the military academies or something. Ask him.¡±

    ¡°After you answer my question.¡± Sarah put her arm in front of Farris¡¯s face just as the Ruler was about to speak.

    ¡°OK...¡± Sam was hoping to avoid this line of questioning. He didn¡¯t want more people to get the idea that he was something special into their head. ¡°So he¡¯s crazy about Terran culture from our time, a real fanboy. That¡¯s reason one, which he termed as private or something. The second reason¡­ I don¡¯t remember what it was, public maybe?¡±

    ¡°Duty,¡± Farris said.

    ¡°Sure. Was that he thinks I¡¯m real special, and he has great hopes for me in the future. Some of his reasoning makes sense. Most of it doesn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, special?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°He thinks I¡¯m like a Chosen One type character.¡±

    ¡°I never said Chosen One, just that there are a lot of things that are unique about you, which must mean something. And also, may I remind you that I said that my plans for you only went as far as being second in command to Erianna? She¡¯ll be chosen one and you¡¯ll be chosen two.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ.¡± Yvessa groaned while rubbing her eyes.

    ¡°Now that¡¯s a real Chosen One character if I¡¯ve ever heard one.¡±

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Sam said, pointedly ignoring Farris¡¯ joke and wishing that he thought of it first, ¡°after Maurice was finished with his protocols, that was before Uncle here made his presence known. He taught me how to trace and whatnot. The most annoying thing about it was that you guys were totally right. It was instinctive.¡±

    ¡°Where¡¯d you place your core?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°My right heel.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°What? You should have told me. You literally had the longest path for gathering following the advice I gave you. I would have told you to try gathering from the tip of your toes.¡±

    ¡°What makes you think that I didn¡¯t realize that myself and switched after the first time?¡±

    ¡°Did you?¡±

    ¡°Of course not!¡±

    ¡°Why¡¯d you even put the core all the way down there?¡± Felix asked. ¡°Most people just put it in their chest area, heart or lungs, you know?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know! There was a lot going through my mind at that point. It was something about Achilles and how he was an idiot for wearing sandals, and also making sure that I remember to appreciate my legs. Why, where did you guys put it?¡±

    ¡°Heart,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Lungs,¡± from Sarah.

    ¡°My brain,¡± by Yvessa.

    All turned expectantly towards the Ruler. ¡°My middle finger,¡± he said with a bashful smile.

    ¡°Does that somehow mean the same thing in elven culture as it does for us?¡± Sam asked Sarah.

    ¡°Yes. But if I¡¯m not wrong, they didn¡¯t have it originally. They got it from the deshars, I think.¡±

    ¡°Correct,¡± Farris said. ¡°But that¡¯s only because we were too hostile with the Imperials at the time to adopt it from them. The dwarves also claim to have had the middle finger gesture before their exodus, so that¡¯s something to think about¡­¡±

    ¡°And another thing to think about,¡± Sam said. ¡°Is your childish behavior in picking your core.¡±

    ¡°I was a child, Achilles.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. Back to me then. After I was once more among the seeing, the four of us had to walk all the way to Maurice¡¯s office cause he left the translator artifact there. This one.¡± He pointed at Farris with his thumb. ¡°Kept trying to prod me about all kinds of weird stuff, like if my name has any meaning and a bunch of other Terran history and culture bullshit.¡±

    ¡°Sound about right.¡± Yvessa glared at Farris, who returned her a smile.

    ¡°So we get to Maurice¡¯s, he slaps the translator in my forehead, I manage to trace through it no problem and we know it works fine because Yvessa didn¡¯t have to speak English today.¡±

    ¡°Thank god for small mercies,¡± said the Sarechi raised Terran.

    ¡°Then Dan and Maurice had to get back to work: finishing the report that ChuckleUncle thrust upon them out of nowhere. So Farris graciously took it upon himself to keep me company until you guys were finished. Long story short, he decided that he was going to be my mentor and was in the middle of teaching me gathering when you called me.¡±

    ¡°Not you too.¡± Yvessa sighed. ¡°What is it with you and being a mentor?¡± she asked Farris.

    ¡°Maximizing my impact on the war effort. Since my ability to get stronger is somewhat roadblocked at the moment, the best way for me to use my talents is to help promising young folks develop theirs.¡±

    ¡°Young folks? Plural? Even if we¡¯re taking Sam into account, that¡¯s still only two people you¡¯ve been a mentor to. Compare yourself with someone like Dan who is constantly taking students under his wings for how to have an actual effect on the state of the war.¡±

    ¡°With all due respect to Mr. Ritter, I have much more stringent standards for who qualify to be mentored by me. Mind you, the only person to actually stand up to me requirement is my beautiful and talented niece. Sam here is still under a probation period, to see whether he can truly match up to his senior.¡±

    Yvessa scoffed. ¡°Good luck with that.¡±

    ¡°I just want the record to show that he pretty much begged me to take him as a mentor,¡± Sam said. ¡°He was the one that kept bringing it up. And he was the one who wanted to teach me gathering. I was content to just go back to my room and read about history.¡±

    ¡°So how did your training go?¡± Sarah asked up before Farris had the chance to lie in defense of his honor.

    ¡°Shit? I don¡¯t know. It¡¯s not like I have a benchmark to see how good or bad I was, especially since most people learn this stuff at twelve-years-old.¡±

    ¡°Most elves and humans,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Yeah, like I said, most people.¡±

    ¡°Racism isn¡¯t funny, Sam,¡± Sarah chided him.

    ¡°I bed to differ. Have you seen Blazing Saddles?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Farris said, ¡°but I will now.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t encourage him.¡± Sarah redirected her ire at the newest negative influence in Sam¡¯s life. ¡°How would you rate his gathering then, Farris? You are his mentor, after all.¡±

    ¡°Pretty average. Which is the best you could hope to at this point. You can¡¯t be good at gathering on your first day doing it. Maybe if you¡¯re something really special, you¡¯ll start improving by the end of your first month. But most people¡¯s results only begin to diverge in the second and third months. Of course, Sam isn¡¯t most people since he does posses a fully adult brain¡ª¡±

    ¡°Nah-huh, the human brain only stops developing at twenty-six. I still have four more years to become more smarter.¡±

    ¡°But you reckon Sam did fine?¡± Sarah asked Farris. ¡°How many cycles did he complete? Remember that you have to take into account that the first step was much harder for him because of your incorrect introductions.¡±

    Sam couldn¡¯t help but laugh after hearing Sarah¡¯s scathing, for her at least, review of Farris¡¯s first day as mentor. Felix joined him in laughter as well, and even Yvessa smiled lightly. Amazingly, Farris managed to remain completely professional and give Sarah a measured response. ¡°The difficulty of Sam¡¯s first step doesn¡¯t mean that my instructions for him were incorrect. My purpose wasn¡¯t for him to gather as efficiently as possible, but rather to train him how to gather. In that respect, having a harder first step is actually a boon rather than a curse, but that doesn¡¯t really matter to me. The important thing is, he managed to complete at least three independent cycles, which was what I had hoped for. His rate of improvement from now on rests solely on his shoulders¡­ And of his full-time teachers.¡±

    ¡°So should I wait for one of those full-time teachers in order to ask them if there is a non-independent cycle?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Yes, that would be rather nice, actually.¡± Farris faked a yawn. ¡°I¡¯ve worked myself pretty much to the bone, and the day had only just begun.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that.¡± Sarah assured Sam. ¡°A non-independent cycle just means that someone, or something, completed the first stage for you. But it¡¯s a gargantuan waste of time and hurts you in the long run, so you can pretty much just forget about it.¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Unless you mange to run into a monster, of course. But good luck finding any.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°OK, what the fuck are monsters?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a name for creatures, that if you kill them you get energy from them, practically skipping the first stage of gathering,¡± Felix explained. ¡°Don¡¯t ask how, don¡¯t ask why, don¡¯t even ask where, because we don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Are these creatures intelligent? Sapient, I mean?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± answered three voices simultaneously.

    ¡°They can be,¡± all four heads turned towards Farris. ¡°What? They can. If a monster makes it to Ruler, they become what we recognize as sapient. That¡¯s the prevailing theory at least. Otherwise, we can¡¯t explain why killing some Epirak Rulers gives you energy and why killing others doesn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°The Epiraks don¡¯t use monsters,¡± Yvessa objected.

    ¡°Evidently they do, just not as cannon fodder. Stop looking at me like that. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m making this up.¡±

    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be very out of character for you.¡±

    ¡°Hey! I take my schooling seriously. I¡¯ll never teach something that I know is wrong. Unless it makes for a really, really, funny joke. And even then, I¡¯ll immediately admit my misdirection. Which, if you¡¯d care to notice, I¡¯ve yet to do.¡± The three objectors seemed mollified by Farris¡¯s answer and each returned to their plate in contemplation. For a short time, silence ruled the table.

    A very short while because, soon after, Sam couldn¡¯t help himself and gave a self-pitying sigh. ¡°You know¡­ I don¡¯t know whether to feel good or bad that I¡¯m learning stuff that you guys that don¡¯t as well. I think I¡¯m going to pick bad. I¡¯m more familiar with it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hardly necessary information for us to know about,¡± Felix said. ¡°Or even commonplace. Monsters are extinct everywhere in the Web and it¡¯s not like we¡¯re going to be fighting Epirak Rulers anytime soon.¡±

    ¡°Besides,¡± Sarah said, ¡°it should make you feel good, if anything. It just goes to show that there¡¯s plenty of stuff that even we don¡¯t know, so that means you¡¯re not as far behind us as you think you are.¡±

    ¡°Or, counterpoint.¡± Sam marshalled for a verbal attack that was sure to bring the other three pupils down to his level. ¡°I¡¯m even further behind than previously anticipated. Because you guys, and by extension, pretty much everyone else probably, aren¡¯t as far along as you believed yourself to be.¡±

    ¡°Nah, they¡¯re alright.¡± Farris rejected his theory. ¡°Don¡¯t be such a downer. Monsters are a very esoteric topic. Knowing or not knowing about them pretty much doesn¡¯t matter to most people.¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes. ¡°What do you mean, ¡®most people?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Nothing, don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    ¡°Probably talking about people who aren¡¯t Rulers,¡± Felix suggested.

    ¡°Yes. Exactly what I meant. Thank you, Felix.¡±

    ¡°Not it isn¡¯t,¡± argued Sam. ¡°It¡¯s obvious he¡¯s hiding something.¡±

    ¡°Look! Just forget about. A slip of the tongue is all. Don¡¯t go fishing when you still haven¡¯t learned how to walk.¡±

    ¡°What the hell does that mean?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an elven proverb,¡± Yvessa explained. ¡°It¡¯s just what it sounds like. Pretty much another way of saying not to bite off more than you can chew.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s pretty stupid.¡±

    ¡°All proverbs are stupid!¡± Farris argued. ¡°It¡¯s not like yours are any better. Oh, ¡®not everything that glitters is gold.¡¯ Well of course it isn¡¯t. You don¡¯t need to be a genius to figure that out.¡±

    ¡°Careful now. You¡¯re pretty close to criticizing Lord of the Rings. And that is something that will make me drop you as a mentor. Now, back up to what you were saying about monsters.¡±

    ¡°Never mind that. Will you drop the subject already? Monsters aren¡¯t going to have any effect on you until you become strong enough to kill enemy Rulers. And you¡¯re probably going to be a Ruler yourself at that point, and I¡¯m not going to have a discussion with you on how energy and cultivating work at that stage. Like Felix said, the bit with Rulers is what I meant, honest.¡±

    Sam clicked his tongue. ¡°I don¡¯t believe you. But fine, I¡¯ll drop it, whatever. That just means I¡¯m going to have to ask other people, who aren¡¯t my mentor, about monsters.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s always a good idea: questioning what people tell you. It never hurts to have multiple sources confirm what you¡¯ve been taught.¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t that make everything you¡¯ve taught me so far worthless?¡±

    ¡°No. Because you should also be taking everything I tell you as the clear truth. That¡¯s the mentor-mentee pledge: I promise to teach you everything I know, and you promise to never doubt what I tell you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well, you¡¯ve already broken your part of the bargain. So I¡¯m not going to feel bad for not keeping up mine.¡±

    Sarah laughed, which came as a surprise to Sam because this was one of this rare time where didn¡¯t think what he said was funny. ¡°You¡¯re really taking this whole monster business to heart, aren¡¯t you?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Not you too? You honestly telling me that you don¡¯t think that he¡¯s hiding something?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Not really. And even if he is, what does it matter? It¡¯s probably something to do with Rulers that he can¡¯t tell us. You only think monsters sound important because we grew up with a different concept of what they are. But for everyone else, monsters are pretty much just extinct species.¡±

    ¡°What about the part where they can become intelligent beings?¡±

    ¡°That, I didn¡¯t know, but it¡¯s not going to have much effect on me anytime soon now is it?¡±

    ¡°Sure, as long as monsters really are extinct everywhere else.¡±

    ¡°They are,¡± Farris said. ¡°You¡¯re not going to find any monsters in any part of the Web that¡¯s controlled by us. So the only monsters you¡¯re going to meet, because you¡¯re not suicidal, are those on the front lines, which means Rulers. Which means, again, because you¡¯re not suicidal, that you can put the question of monsters to bed for a very long time. I promise you.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± Sam acquiesced. ¡°I¡¯ll drop this for the time being. Meanwhile, I¡¯ll just add it to the ever-growing list of exposition information that didn¡¯t go anywhere. One short step away from the exposition that never even matters and that I would have been completely fine not knowing about it.¡±

    Sarah squeezed his shoulder in an attempt at comforting. ¡°I know what you¡¯re going through, Sam. But it¡¯s still hasn¡¯t been a week since you¡¯ve returned. You gotta take it easy. You¡¯re doing fine. It doesn¡¯t matter if you forget something because you¡¯ll be reminded of everything important a dozen times over.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just hard not knowing what is important for me to know and remember and what isn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I know¡­ But you¡¯re thinking about this too rigidly. What you have to remember is that you¡¯re the only one that gets to determine what is important for you to know. And yes, right now you¡¯re still at the stage where it¡¯s unclear. But pretty soon you¡¯re going to get used to this world and you¡¯ll be able to start deciding to yourself what information to care about and what not to. That means that if you decide that you don¡¯t care about the history courses and are only going to study for the test and forget everything afterwards, that¡¯s totally fine.¡±

    ¡°No it isn¡¯t!¡± objected Yvessa.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± agreed Sam. ¡°You had me going until you said that it¡¯s OK for me not to care about history.¡±

    ¡°That was only an example! Don¡¯t care about something else then. Civilian patterns, monsters, unarmed combat. The point is that you¡¯re going to be the one that gets to decide what¡¯s important for you to know. And until then, it¡¯s OK if you happen to forget something important, it happens to everyone.¡±

    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll try and keep that in mind. Still.¡± He laughed. ¡°Not caring about history? C¡¯mon, you got to know me better than that at this point. Ow, ow!¡± He rubbed his neck where Sarah pinched him. ¡°That¡¯s parental abuse, that¡¯s what that was. Ow!¡±

 Chapter 48

    ¡°So what did you guys do this morning?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Just worked out?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± said Sarah. ¡°And you¡¯re going to join us for cardio in the evening. In fact, we¡¯ve come to an agreement. We¡¯re going to have you join us every weekday from now on, alternating between mornings and evenings. At least until you¡¯re able to do both.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°So not anytime soon then?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to make it in no time. Just wait and see.¡±

    ¡°And you guys are OK with it? This torture session that you¡¯re going to be a part of?¡±

    ¡°Exercise is healthy for you, mate,¡± Felix answered. ¡°Even if you weren¡¯t training to be a soldier, you should be working out regularly.¡±

    ¡°Oh no. I didn¡¯t mean torture for me, although the experience is certainly going to be awful. I meant for you guys. Just think about it, having to spend time with me, at least an hour every day? Even my parents can¡¯t stand having me around that much.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t joke about that.¡± Sarah frowned at him to the sounds of Farris¡¯ and Felix¡¯s laughter. ¡°You¡¯re great to have around.¡±

    ¡°What? I¡¯m not allowed to make fun of myself anymore?¡±

    ¡°Not like that, you¡¯re not.¡±

    ¡°This is outrageous! Almost all of my self-deprecating jokes are about how annoying I am and how other people can¡¯t stand me¡­ That¡¯s because if you make people laugh about that, then they¡¯re more likely to believe my annoying behavior is intentional and, thus, are more willing to tolerate me better.¡±

    ¡°Sam!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t help it! It just comes out of me. I¡¯m like one of those people that see in math. But instead of seeing Pi everywhere, I just see different ways to make fun of myself. And keep in mind, that it¡¯s not as simple a job as it sounds. You can¡¯t keep making fun of the same thing. Firstly, because at some point it will stop being funny as people will have grown used to the material. But more importantly, people will eventually internalize what you are saying and realize that what you¡¯re saying is in fact the truth and that they really, truly, can¡¯t stand you. No, not the nape!¡±

    Sarah seemed to take pity on his worthless self and just squeezed his shoulder with a defeated sigh at her inability to raise Sam into some measure of self worth. ¡°Anyway, since you three are going to have a similar schedule, I also made Felix and Yvessa promise to work out with you when I¡¯m not able to.¡±

    ¡°How is having them promise something like that different from any of the jokes I made?¡±

    ¡°She really meant it, for starters,¡± Felix said. ¡°And I don¡¯t think she was driven so much by a low opinion of you, but rather that her opinion of us wasn¡¯t high enough. At least, that¡¯s what I got from her threatening us with physical violence if we stood you up.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the only one she threatened,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°And that was only because you made that stupid joke about how you weren¡¯t going to show up if you were getting laid.¡±

    ¡°To be fair,¡± Sam said, ¡°the saying does go ¡®bros before hoes.¡¯¡±

    ¡°See he get¡¯s it.¡± Felix nodded.

    ¡°I will hit you,¡± Sarah threatened.

    ¡°How come Sam gets a pass?¡±

    ¡°Did you just call me a hoe?¡± Yvessa asked Sam.

    ¡°Yes he did,¡± Farris said. ¡°But he also called himself one as well. And I do believe the saying is comedic in nature, or at least his usage of it was. You see, the original meaning¡ª¡±

    ¡°I know what that phrase means, Farris. Just as I know that if I ask Sam what he meant by it, then he¡¯s going to say something stupid about how he¡¯s actually sexist and it wasn¡¯t a joke.¡±

    Sam snuffled and made as though he were drying his tears. ¡°I was going to do that!¡± He nodded eagerly. ¡°I was going to say something along the lines how about all women are hoes but also worthless, and because I¡¯m worthless, that means I¡¯m a hoe as well. A two in one! Yvessa!¡± He reached over the table in order to hug her, but she just shook her head and made no effort to meet him halfway.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think your logic works there, mate,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°What, my logic is what you¡¯re having trouble with? Not the part about how all women are worthless?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just going after the statement most easy to disprove.¡±

    ¡°Do both of us have to be there with him, Sarah?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Which of them is ¡®him?¡¯ Because if it¡¯s Felix you¡¯re trying to make fun of, then I¡¯m going to allow it. But if it¡¯s Sam, then no.¡±

    ¡°This is literally 1984,¡± Sam said. ¡°Now even other people can¡¯t make fun of me? You¡¯re just going to make the other children resent me by treating me like this, you know? I mean, look at Yvessa. She¡¯s positively stewing in her rage. She wants to lash out at me.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s just going to have to bottle it all down until she complexly forgets that she had any negative feelings about you in the first place.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not going to work at all. Bottling feelings is just going to make you end up with a black hole of negativity inside of you. And I would know a thing or two about that, considering what my favorite video game is.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Farris twirled his fingers. ¡°Do tell.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Ooh, what a conundrum. Caught between a rock and a mentor who I don¡¯t respect at all.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m the rock right?¡± Farris asked.

    ¡°You¡¯re certainly as thick as one,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°So how does the ¡®making no fun of Sam¡¯ rule work in practice?¡± Felix asked Sarah.

    ¡°Only Sam is allowed to make fun of himself, and only on certain topics.¡±

    ¡°You make fun of him as well.¡±

    ¡°With him, not of him. And I¡¯m allowed, as I am not getting any joy from doing that. I¡¯m only trying to accommodate Sam as best as I can.¡±

    ¡°And we thank you for your sacrifices.¡± Sam reclined his head, then turned to Felix and Yvessa. ¡°We¡¯ll just have to keep the good jokes for when she¡¯s not around. Write down your joke and the context surrounding it when you think of one and save it until Big Sister¡¯s out of earshot.¡±

    ¡°What about if you¡¯re out of earshot?¡± Felix asked. ¡°Are we allowed to make fun of him then, Sarah?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You guys talk about me when I¡¯m not around?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Sarah does. We just listen and nod,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°That¡¯s tough. You have my sympathies. The world would be a better place if no one ever spoke of Sam Anders again. Never mind, that¡¯s too dark. I take it back.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s smart. I could see Sarah¡¯s hand beginning to hover behind you.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s parental abuse, you know?¡± Sam turned his head to Sarah.

    ¡°You¡¯ve already made that joke,¡± Sarah retorted.

    ¡°Today?¡±

    ¡°During this meal.¡±

    ¡°Well something¡¯s certainly got to give. Any chance of you changing your ways? No? Then I¡¯ll have to branch out to describing other forms of physical violence. How about elder abuse? Or does it cancel itself out because we¡¯re both old as fuck?¡±

    ¡°How about you don¡¯t call it abuse at all and just be thankful than I¡¯m taking such good care of you?¡± She brushed his hair.

    Sam gulped. ¡°Farris, take me with you to back to Maynil, I¡¯ve changed my mind.¡±

    ¡°Too late. I¡¯ve already decided on the perfect person to teach you about threads.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯d you pick?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I haven¡¯t decided yet.¡±

    ¡°Figures¡­ You are going to consult with Erianna before making a decision though, right? Seeing as she probably knows the teachers better than you do. It¡¯s been what? A million years since you had to study the topic?¡±

    ¡°Har har. I¡¯ll talk with her, sure, see who she liked best. But seeing as I¡¯m the one who taught her the most on the subject, I do believe that I¡¯m a better judge of our teachers than she is.¡±

    ¡°How come you have so many teachers and we don¡¯t have any?¡± Felix asked, with only a hint of the bitterness he was probably feeling apparent in his voice.

    ¡°Because the very few Terrans capable of teaching Thread-Weavers who aren¡¯t Rulers, in active combat, or disinterested in teaching, are at Larsus.¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t they be here?¡±

    ¡°Because there¡¯s only two of them, one is a grandmother who¡¯s married to an elf and the other one is trying to become a Ruler and he wouldn¡¯t make for a very good teacher anyway, particularly not for Sam.¡±

    Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.

    ¡°Too hot?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I would get too distracted?¡±

    ¡°Too hot tempered. But who can blame him when your one goal is to become a Ruler and your body dealt you a shit hand.¡±

    ¡°Felix just wants to make sure that you¡¯re not hogging all the young hot Terran talents to yourselves.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m letting them keep you, aren¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s a good point, Felix. Your forgot how awesome I am.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s my bad. I¡¯ll be sure to hug my Sam Anders body pillow extra tight when I go to sleep today to make up for it.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I like it, but I¡¯m not sure it¡¯s allowed. Judge?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± answered Sarah.

    ¡°Note that down, lady and gentlemen. Sarcastic agreements are allowed, so long as what you¡¯re agreeing with is a positive statement regarding myself.¡± He turned to Sarah. ¡°But, it¡¯d be a lot easier if you just made a list of which types of jokes are allowed and which aren¡¯t wouldn¡¯t you agree?¡±

    ¡°Or¡­ I could hit someone when they make a joke about you that I don¡¯t like and thus physically condition you three to behave yourself.¡±

    ¡°Us three?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°What about Farris?¡±

    ¡°Are you suggesting that she hit me? A royal prince? Why, that¡¯s tantamount to treason.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t hit him,¡± Sarah said. ¡°He¡¯s my boss.¡±

    ¡°Not yet, actually,¡± Sam said. ¡°He¡¯s only going to become our boss once we finish our tenure here and officially join the fighting infantry. So until then there¡¯s no hierarchal barrier preventing you from inflecting violence upon his royal person.¡±

    ¡°He could kill me.¡±

    ¡°He won¡¯t. Would you?¡±

    Farris shook his head. ¡°No, of course not¡­ I¡¯d wait until she¡¯d come under my command and then send her on a suicide mission.¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­ A real royal move there. Respect. See, Sarah, there¡¯s nothing to be afraid of. Feel free to punish him for my sake.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure going on a suicide mission counts as a reason to be afraid,¡± Sarah said

    ¡°Sure, but every mission carries with it the risk of death. And who¡¯s to say which mission is suicidal and which isn¡¯t? Besides, a suicide mission is guaranteed to be completely safe in the case of the odds being a million to one. Which they often are in a fantasy narrative like ours.¡±

    ¡°Life isn¡¯t a book, Sam.¡±

    ¡°Of course not. One single book? Perish the thought. Why, just listing down all of my hot takes would take a full-bodied hardcover. But, at the very least, think of our life as a never-ending series of adventure books, which are guaranteed to last for a lifetime because that¡¯s how long the divorced author will have to pay alimony for. That is the only way to capture the myriad complexities that is our very being.¡±

    ¡°Life isn¡¯t a never-ending series of books as well, Sam.¡±

    ¡°Look, think of this salt shaker, going up and down and back and forth.¡±

    ¡°What are you even trying to say? You¡¯re just moving it around.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know. I was sure that I was going to think of a metaphor in time. Ah ha! Got it. Think of this salt shaker as me, your precious a hundred-and-something-year-old new Taken. Now think of this table as the entire world, I mean Web, and everyone in it. Every story to be told, every life to have been lived and those yet to be born.¡±

    ¡°Where are you going with this?¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯ll just let me finish¡­ Now, think of this table as an electron in motion. It only exists in space and time as long as someone is there to observe it. And if it just so happens that an electron doesn¡¯t actually work like that, then throw away the analogy and just focus on the other thing I said. Now, we¡¯re going to take me, the salt shaker, out and away from the table, returning to the status-quo that reigned in existence until six days ago. Are we clear so far?

    ¡°Good, so what are we left with? That¡¯s right, a simple boring table. You might say, ¡®Sam, that¡¯s not a table, that¡¯s the real world and everyone living in it.¡¯ But I¡¯ll say ¡®Nuh uh. There¡¯s no one out there to observe that this table is more than just a table because it doesn¡¯t exist if there¡¯s no one to observe it.¡¯ OK? Now we move the salt shaker back to the table and what do we have now?¡±

    ¡°A dirty table?¡± Felix ventured.

    ¡°No. An unsavory meal. Which needs salt. Which is where I come in as the hero. Which makes this a story. Which is what I was trying to prove.¡±

    ¡°That made no sense,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°It was awful,¡± Felix agreed.

    ¡°I liked it,¡± said Farris. ¡°It confirmed to a few of my conjectures regarding the nature of existence and the meaning of life.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡± Sam extended his hand towards his precious mentor. ¡°At least someone gets it.¡±

    ¡°Yes. And casting yourself as the salt? Very appropriate.¡±

    ¡°Sarah¡­¡± Sam nudged her shoulders. ¡°Farris made fun of me.¡±

    Sarah was busy rubbing her temple, which was probably why she didn¡¯t rise to Sam¡¯s defense. ¡°Sam? You know how you just complained about not knowing whether the stuff you hear about is important or not? I sometimes think the exact same way about some of the stuff that you say.¡±

    ¡°Oh. That¡¯s very easy to figure out. I¡¯ll tell you the secret. Just consider everything I say as stupid and not serious. Unless I¡¯m angry while saying that. In which case, I am serious, but I¡¯m very likely not in the right and am unjustifiably upset. In the rare case that I do have a reason for feeling mad, then I¡¯m probably still in the wrong as the way in which I express my anger is not appropriate for the preceding circumstances.¡±

    ¡°Sam! I¡¯m serious.¡±

    ¡°So was I, paradoxically.

    ¡°Sam!¡±

    ¡°What? OK, so I say a lot of stupid stuff. But if it¡¯s something that I really care about, then I¡¯ll let you know. Don¡¯t worry about it. Besides, obviously I wasn¡¯t completely serious about the whole ¡®this is a book and I¡¯m the main character¡¯ bit.¡±

    ¡°Not completely serious?¡± Felix asked. ¡°So there was a part of you that somewhat meant it?¡±

    ¡°What? No. No. That¡¯s not what I meant. I assure you, unlike Farris, I have no delusions of my grandeur.¡±

    ¡°Than that means that you were serious about how this world is like a story.¡± Yvessa frowned. ¡°Which is much more concerning than over-believing in yourself, in my opinion.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Sam waved her off. ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant.¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re trying to say that you still think that this world isn¡¯t real, then I will hit you,¡± Sarah said in a halting voice.

    ¡°No! Of course not,¡± Sam lied. ¡°I¡¯ve gotten over that completely.¡± He hasn¡¯t. While not as deep into total skepticism as he was five days ago, he still held a bigger measure of existential doubt than he was used to. But that wasn¡¯t important right now. He was digging himself into deeper and deeper holes while trying to escape the consequences of making a seriously unfunny bit. And now Sarah looked like she was two seconds from crying because she was taking what he said too much to heart.

    Sam had to pivot. He had to change the tone and focus of the conversation completely. And he had to do so in such a way that showed that he not only completely believed in the totality of reality but also that he didn¡¯t share Farris¡¯ high regard for himself at all. He only had one chance at this. And so, he turned to the one method that he knew worked best, making fun of the Japanese.

    ¡°OK, OK, I¡¯ll tell you what I meant. It¡¯s not that I think life is a story or anything. Obviously, that would be mental. But there was something that bothered me and I kept fixating on that might have had a thing or two to do with me coming up with that metaphor that I, again, was completely joking about.¡± He turned and pointed a blaming finger at Farris, who was in the middle of taking a bite, unconcerned by the turmoil around the table. ¡°He started it!¡±

    ¡°I saw him using a phone, and ever since then, it hasn¡¯t left me. I mean, what kind of elf uses a phone? That¡¯s not what elves do. In what stories do elves use phones? I¡¯ll tell you in what kind, shitty iskeai ones. And I know what you¡¯re going to say: ¡®Shitty isekai? Isn¡¯t the first part redundant?¡¯ And why, yes Felix, it is. Insert laugh track here. It is redundant.

    ¡°And I know what you¡¯re going to say now: ¡®That doesn¡¯t help your argument at all. You just said that you didn¡¯t think about how life was a book, but now you criticize reality because it¡¯s similar to bad literature?¡¯ But that¡¯s just because you haven¡¯t heard the rest of my thought process. You see, right after thinking about how having the horrid thought that the real world was similar to an isekai. After that, I had another thought: ¡®Isn¡¯t isekai just rip-off or another name for a certain sub-genre of fantasy? And wouldn¡¯t that genre might provide us with examples of elves using phones that aren¡¯t a heap of garbage?¡¯ Why yes, yes it does. Bam! Shadowrun! Bam! The world that I made up in my head, which is almost identical to Shadowrun in concept except without the cyberpunk theme, but that I also came up with before knowing Shadowrun was a thing.¡±

    He paused there to take a much needed drink of water. ¡°Where are you going with this, Sam?¡± asked Sarah, who seemed to regain her calm somewhat.

    ¡°It¡¯s just this: you guys are worrying that I think that this life isn¡¯t real and I¡¯m in a book¡ª¡±

    ¡°Or a dream, or a simulation. I seem to recall you giving those examples as well.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, whatever. That was first day Sam, that guy was a mouldy piece of clay. What I¡¯m trying to say is, you don¡¯t need to worry about me. I know, no strike that, too strong a statement. I believe that this world is real, but even if it isn¡¯t, I don¡¯t care and am willing to treat it as reality. Why? Because, through the power of mental deduction, I concluded that, despite elves using phones, there is no chance that the story we¡¯re living through, if indeed life isn¡¯t real, is an isekai. And if it isn¡¯t an isekai, if it¡¯s just similar enough to a story that I myself came up with years ago, then I¡¯m fiiiine. But because a part of me is still the same old ball of anxiety, I kept thinking about this and wondering whether this world might still count as an isekai if made into a story. And that¡¯s why I fixated on that stupid table and salt bit. I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what you were talking about,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°In fact, I¡¯m now less assured of your sanity than I was before.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa!¡± Sarah hissed at her.

    ¡°I got it,¡± said Felix. ¡°Although Sam is completely wrong. His life is one-hundred percent an isekai. Or he¡¯s and Sarah¡¯s, to be more concise. All modern Taken actually.

    ¡°No it isn¡¯t!¡± Sam argued. ¡°How do you even know what isekai is anyway?¡±

    ¡°I read books. I watch TV. The sub-genre still exists, although it¡¯d be more correct to categorize it as a sub-sub-genre. And you guys check all the check-marks for an isekai story.¡±

    ¡°No we don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Yes you do. Born on earth? Check. Transported by a mysterious power into a different world? Check. Said world has different races and magic and can be categorized as pre-modern fantasy? Check. Main character is extremely unlikeable? Check. Also has a cheat power? That¡¯s another check. These two last ones are just you, though, Sam.¡±

    ¡°OK, first, I don¡¯t agree with your conclusion. Two, that was a joke at my expense, so make sure Sarah hits you later. Three, I¡¯ll agree with the extremely unlikeable part, too mild I¡¯ll even say, but I won¡¯t agree with the cheat power point. That¡¯s bullshit. I got nothing going on for me.¡±

    ¡°What about the whole Thread-Weaver stuff?¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t count because A: it¡¯s not unique. And B: it¡¯s not something that was given to me. That¡¯s like counting good genes as a cheat power.¡±

    ¡°But you don¡¯t know whether being a Thread-Weaver was inborn or a quality you acquired later in life,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Sure¡­ Yeah, I don¡¯t. But it seems reasonable to assume that it¡¯s something inborn, right?¡±

    ¡°Indeed, that makes sense to me as well. I¡¯m with Sam. It doesn¡¯t sound like a cheat power.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t even know what a cheat power is!¡± Felix said.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what it is,¡± declared Sarah. ¡°The point is that our life isn¡¯t similar at all to an¡­ isekai, right? An isekai story, so Sam has no reason to think that this world isn¡¯t real.¡±

    ¡°Now hold.¡± Sam raised his hand. ¡°I didn¡¯t say that it isn¡¯t similar at all. There are some similarities, there must be since we do posses some of the features of the greater portal fantasy sub-genre. But, similar to the good old quadrilateral example, isekai is a rectangle while we are more of a trapezoid.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s side are you on?¡±

    ¡°Mine, obviously. And the truth, of course. But that¡¯s just saying the same thing twice, right guys?¡±

    ¡°Thinks too much of himself?¡± Felix said. ¡°Check.¡±

    ¡°OK enough out of you, check boy. We¡¯re done talking about this. Life, if made into a book or some other form of entertainment, is not an isekai. End of discussion.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± drawled Farris.

    ¡°Oh, I was wondering when we were going to hear from you,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Where do you stand on the issue?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ thank you for asking. And I¡¯ll admit, I didn¡¯t know what isekai meant, so I was out of my depth for most of the conversation. That is, at least, until Sam mentioned that it is like Terran portal fantasy. Now that genre I know.¡±

    ¡°Sub-genre,¡± Sam corrected him. ¡°Wait, no! That doesn¡¯t matter. We were done talking about this.¡±

    ¡°But surely you should take the opinion of your dear mentor into consideration. I was the one that started you on this road of thought, after all, did I not? By the way, it is somewhat racist to think elves don¡¯t use phones.¡±

    ¡°Now you¡¯re just twisting my words. I didn¡¯t say that you don¡¯t use phones. That¡¯s a descriptive statement. I said elves shouldn¡¯t be using phones. That it¡¯s twisted and revolting. A normative statement.¡±

    ¡°That makes it very racist then.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to keep the world the same way it was when I was growing up and educated on Tolkien. If that makes me a racist? Then so be it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to have so much fun in the multi-racial modern army.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. I can¡¯t wait to learn some stereotypes about the other races so that I¡¯ll know how I should be treating and thinking about them.¡±

    ¡°Oh, but we can take care of that right now. Let¡¯s start with the race you¡¯re least likely to meet: the ningani. The first thing you should know about¡ª¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Sarah and Yvessa yelled.

    ¡°You¡¯re not seriously thinking that this world isn¡¯t real, right?¡± Felix asked Sam, leaning in while the other two were busy ganging up on Farris. Sam pursed his lips, furrowed his brow, and rolled his eyes. A perfect, obviously not, face. ¡°Good, then that means that we can talk about this isekai business later. I¡¯m still not convinced.¡±

    ¡°Come to me in a year¡¯s time. We¡¯ll reopen the discussion.¡±

 Chapter 49

    The rest of the meal, which at this point was mostly eaten anyway, passed in relative calm. Yvessa kept trying to prod Farris about who he planned to send to teach Sam. She gave up eventually, but only after promising Sam that she¡¯d ask Erianna to keep up the pressure on as well. Felix, who seemed mollified by Sam¡¯s promise to reopen their discussion in a year¡¯s time, was set upon by Farris once the Ruler was no longer under pressure from Yvessa. It seemed that the elf was also interested in a contemporary opinion of Terran literature. So long as that literature was pre-Integration.

    But Sam wasn¡¯t focused on the three of them. Well, not any more than he usually was focused on other people, which basically meant that a significant portion of his brainpower was dedicated to worrying whether he had caused any of them to dislike him during the interaction. But that didn¡¯t matter, that was just regular old worrying. It wasn¡¯t healthy, but Sam was pretty much already inoculated to its harmful effects. No, the person Sam was focused on was Sarah, who was keeping to herself and really taking her time finishing her meal.

    Although she showed initial signs of relaxation after Sam redirected the conversation to more comedic grounds, she was still acting much more withdrawn than her usual self. And she kept frowning at her tray from moment to moment, which wasn¡¯t at all justified considering how good the pancakes were. If Sam had to guess, which wasn¡¯t a hypothetical considering Sam¡¯s compulsion to over think, he would guess that Sarah was going through something rather similar to what he himself was.

    Almost identical in fact, he would say, the only difference being the source and target for their shared anxiety. While Sam was worrying whether he would be good enough, and capable of trying hard enough in order to save the world. Sarah was worrying whether she would be good enough in order to save, or help (that¡¯s a little milder), Sam. So, much like how Sam had obsessed around the question of fighting with a spear or being shit with patterns, Sarah was now obsessed with worrying that he wasn¡¯t completely tethered to reality. Sure, it all started with a stupid joke from Sam, but didn¡¯t Sam himself spend entire days of his life being downtrodden because his mind had wondered onto stupid topics that made him sad? And Sarah¡¯s worrying had to do with a real living being, who was going through the same stuff she herself did in her most formative years. A much better reason for over worrying than the ones that occupied Sam most of his life.

    Of course, there was also a chance that Sarah wasn¡¯t feeling bad and worried at all. Or that while she was indeed worried or sad about something, it had nothing to do with Sam. A very reasonable assumption to make. After all, only Sam currently knew that he was the most important person alive, and even he doubted that. So placing him at the center of Sarah¡¯s thoughts and worries was a little arrogant.

    Of course, Sam knew that was bullshit. Sarah was worrying about him. She was worrying about him since she first knew of his existence, which was why she took so much time to finish her imprinting on his first day here. Sam¡¯s behavior, full of antics and playfulness as it were, hadn¡¯t diminished Sarah¡¯s worries for him. It had only buried them beneath the surface. Which was somewhat ironic, considering her previous stance on repressing emotions. And now, Sarah was forced to confront her worries once again, brought back to the surface by Sam reminding her of their initial meeting. It didn¡¯t matter that Sam ¡°managed¡± to pivot the conversation away, or that he ¡°proved¡± his belief in the reality of this reality.

    Sarah¡¯s worry wasn¡¯t rational; she wasn¡¯t a psychologist, noting down everything that Sam did and said in order to come up with an informed conclusion. No, she was just a twenty-year-old who was being forced back in time eight years ago and was determined to make sure that Sam avoided all the things that made her feel bad back then and had all that didn¡¯t. An impossible promise which carried with it impossible obligations. Tasks that Sarah would never be able to accomplish, sadness that she would never be able to prevent. But she had to make sure that Sam wouldn¡¯t go through the same things that she did, that he wouldn¡¯t suffer the trauma that¡ª

    ¡°What¡¯s with you?¡± Sarah snapped her fingers in front of his face. ¡°You¡¯re not still thinking about that isekai stuff, are you?¡±

    Sam shook his head, trying to place his consciousness back in the presence of space and time. ¡°No, of course not. I don¡¯t think about things once I decided that I shouldn¡¯t think about them. You ought to try that yourself some time.¡±

    ¡°Wow. You¡¯re really good at lying, you know that?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because I manipulate myself in order to believe what I¡¯m saying is true.¡±

    ¡°So what were you thinking about, then?¡±

    ¡°Ask me in a couple of minutes. I don¡¯t have a good lie prepared.¡±

    ¡°You could just tell the truth.¡±

    ¡°Unlikely.¡±

    ¡°Do I need to pinch you again?¡±

    ¡°Haven¡¯t we had enough comedic relief by virtue of physical violence today?¡±

    ¡°Evidently not.¡±

    ¡°I swear I wasn¡¯t thinking anything bad!¡±

    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t bad, then you wouldn¡¯t be afraid to tell me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just because you don¡¯t realize how murky the depths of my mind really are. And did you really just try to pull the old ¡®nothing to hide¡¯ adage?¡±

    ¡°Whatever it takes for you to spill the beans.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s funny, cause I was actually thinking of beans. Fart jokes and what not, yeah?¡±

    ¡°Sam.¡±

    ¡°OK, OK, I¡¯ll tell you. Just not right now, OK? In private.¡±

    ¡°Fine, but you better not lie to me later.¡± Sam released a breath. Now he just had to come up with something embarrassing enough from his life that it¡¯s reasonable that he wouldn¡¯t want others to hear it but also related enough to what they were talking that I would be conceivable that his mind wandered over to it. That, or he could just tell the truth.

    ¡°Well,¡± Farris said while standing up, ¡°I¡¯ve got to go. So Sam?¡± He gestured with his head towards the mess hall¡¯s exit.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to accompany me?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ no?¡±

    ¡°You do realize we probably won¡¯t see each other for quite some time after today?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t realize that, no. Doesn¡¯t change my answer, though.¡±

    ¡°Get up.¡± This time Farris¡¯s voice brooked no argument.

    ¡°Well I¡¯m full.¡± Sam got up while rubbing his stomach. ¡°Catch you guys later?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m coming with.¡± Sarah turned to follow him.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that this is going to be one of them mentor-mentee only conversations,¡± Farris said.

    ¡°I need to speak with Sam.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯ll have the rest of the day to do so, and many more after that. But I¡¯m this time, I must insist on speaking with Sam and Sam alone.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯ll be fine, Sarah.¡± Sam squeezed her shoulder.

    ¡°I know it¡¯ll be, but you¡¯re going to use this as an excuse to worm your way out of our conversation.¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m not.¡± That would have been smart, though. ¡°Look, I promise that we¡¯ll have our talk. I¡¯ll just finish with Farris and come and find you. You can wait for me outside of Dan¡¯s building if you¡¯re so worried that I¡¯m lying. That¡¯s where I¡¯m going next.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡± She sat back down with a huff. And proceeded to demolish her way through the considerable remains of her breakfast. ¡°I¡¯ll wait for you. Don¡¯t think that you¡¯re getting out of this.¡±

    ¡°I can see that. Bye guys, see you later.¡± He bid Felix and Yvessa farewell which they both returned, Yvessa being the only one that remembered to bid Farris as well.

    ¡°Nice friends you¡¯ve got there,¡± Farris said once they were back outside.

    ¡°You want to try saying that cliche line again? Maybe say it with a mob accent?¡±

    ¡°Not everything has to be original,¡± Farris answered with a smile. Before beginning to walk and forcing Sam to follow him.

    ¡°Where are we going?¡±

    ¡°Nowhere in particular. Just catch some sun, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, sun¡­ Does it even have any effect anymore?¡±

    ¡°The world¡¯s not frozen, is it? It does all that you¡¯re used to, the good and the bad. It¡¯s one of the greater mysteries behind how the skies work. Which is saying something because the skies themselves are, of course, a great mystery.¡±

    ¡°Really? Figured you Rulers would know how the stuff works.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry to disappoint you, then. Perhaps once we have peace, we¡¯ll be able to dedicate more time to exploring the mysteries of the natural world.¡±

    ¡°Or perhaps you should still be doing that now. You do know how technology works, right? You have heard of the atomic bomb?¡±

    Farris sighed. ¡°And how. Seen it firsthand, even.¡±

    ¡°Exactly, so you understand how¡ªWait what? When, where, did you see it? Surely not in¡ª¡±

    ¡°In battle.¡±

    ¡°battle¡­ Fuck¡­ do nukes even work on you guys?¡±

    ¡°Rulers you mean? Not while awake and conscious, they don¡¯t. Too easy to avoid the impact. The shock and heatwave are easily defended against. And the radiation? The atoms don¡¯t carry magic with them. A nuke, just like all other Terran Armaments, is not a weapon aimed against the individual. But you¡¯ll learn all about that and more during your time here. There¡¯s no reason for me to waste my time teaching you stuff that you are already going to learn, right?¡±

    ¡°I guess not.¡± And doesn¡¯t that sound familiar? One more all powerful being that knows everything I need to know but doesn¡¯t want to tell me about it and I¡¯m getting a tattoo. ¡°At the very least, you got to tell me about the nuke. Was it tactical? Was it fission or thermonuclear? Artillery, ballistic or bomb?¡±

    ¡°It was a big one, that¡¯s all I know. A couple of big ones, actually. All that we had in store at the front. It was the battle of Shallenet. You¡¯ll have to look it up in your own time, I¡¯m afraid.¡±

    ¡°Suddenly you don¡¯t have time to talk about unimportant stuff?¡±

    ¡°Something like that. Also, it¡¯s not one of my fondest memories.¡± His face was grim.

    ¡°Oh, oh. Sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to¡ª¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s perfectly alright. Healthy curiosity is all that was. Were it any other battle in my life and I¡¯d have been more than happy to indulge you. Although perhaps not now, since we truly are on a time limit.¡±

    ¡°Are we? Besides, does it even matter? It¡¯s not like you¡¯re going to be able to impart to me all that I should know, even if we had all day.¡±

    ¡°Indeed, I won¡¯t. But that¡¯s not what I aim to be to you as a mentor, at least not for now. You¡¯ll have plenty of perfectly capable teachers to educate you here, not to mention Dan that is much more than just capable. I don¡¯t aim to just teach you knowledge. That¡¯s a job of all of your other teachers.¡±

    ¡°Is it manners then you¡¯re after?¡±

    ¡°God no, not manners. What I want you to learn from me is more along the lines of¡­ a way of life.¡±

    ¡°Way of life?¡± Sam raised his eyebrow.

    ¡°Don¡¯t scoff just yet. What I mean is that someday, perhaps soon, perhaps not, you¡¯ll be a Ruler yourself. And when that day comes, I want you to be a certain kind of person. I¡¯m not saying that you, as you are now, aren¡¯t the right sort of person, or even that you aren¡¯t that sort of person yet. What I am saying, is that if there were only two kinds of Rulers, A and B I would want to make sure that you end up as C. You get my drift?¡±

    ¡°I do, but your explanation was awful. You just want me to be like you, don¡¯t you? Is that it?¡±

    ¡°And would that be so bad?¡± Farris laughed. ¡°But no, don¡¯t worry about it, I¡¯m not trying to bring about a second Farris Ninae into the world. It isn¡¯t personality that I¡¯m most concerned with, although it would certainly be nice if you maintained some of the old Terran charm that you have now. It¡¯s conviction that I¡¯m after. A certain outlook on the entire state of the war itself.¡±

    ¡°What outlook should that be? Utilitarian? All for one and one for all?¡±

    Farris shook his head, stopped in his tracks, and looked at the annoying midday sun. ¡°Tell me Sam, from what you¡¯ve heard about the war, which I¡¯m sure is a lot as far as you¡¯re concerned, but much too little as far as everyone else is, do you believe our war to be winnable? And if so, what sort of victory do you foresee for our forces?¡±

    Is that a trick question? Sam kept his mouth shut for now, unsure if a too hasty answer would give something away that he wasn¡¯t supposed to reveal. I mean, ultimately, the answer¡ªwhether we can win this war¡ªrests solely on my shoulders, doesn¡¯t it? At least if Web-Web is to be believed. And doubting my ability to step up to the plate and save the world is just about the worst thing I can do from a psychological viewpoint. But fuck, what does it even matter? He doesn¡¯t know what I know. He doesn¡¯t seriously think that I¡¯m a promised hero sent to save the Web. I¡¯m just a guy with an extraordinary set of circumstances that might become a great strategic asset in the future.

    Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.

    What did I think about the war before Web-Web dropped the bomb on me? Did I even have an opinion? At that point, I barely knew about it more than I do now. It¡¯s just that I cared less. Maurice said that it was going to be fine with or without me and although Sarah really wanted me to join, she was driven by personal reasons just as much as martial ones. And it¡¯s not like she thought that I was going to change the state of the war or anything. So what did I think? Fuck! I don¡¯t know, did I even care? Yes, obviously, but not that much. I was too much in shock and the war was still a couple of years removed from me, even if I chose to fight in it.

    Then what do I think now? He scratched his head, unable to come up with an answer. Should he even be answering it truthfully? Maybe it was best to give the answer that he thought Farris wanted to hear. Or just say that he hadn¡¯t given the topic much thought. Which would be a really awful lie because what else would he have been pondering about for all this time? In the end, he didn¡¯t manage to formulate an opinion, much less come to a decision. So when he started growing conscious of Farris¡¯s stare boring into him, he said the only thing that came to mind, ¡°Do you think we¡¯re going to win the war?¡±

    Farris smiled. ¡°Misdirection, huh? You took all that time and that¡¯s the best you could come up with?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve got a couple of answers, but I want to make sure that I know what you think in order to make sure the answer I give you makes you like me as much as possible. You see, that¡¯s because I see life, relationships in life, like a video game¡ª¡±

    ¡°Nuh uh. I¡¯m afraid that I can¡¯t allow you to change a topic at this point, no matter how enticing you make the prospect look. Now, to answer your question: ¡®Can we win the war?¡¯ Why yes we can, obviously. That¡¯s what we¡¯re doing right now after all, aren¡¯t we? Winning the war isn¡¯t about killing the Epiraks, right? It¡¯s about keeping the front stable and letting them bleed themselves on our lines. Eventually, they¡¯re bound to exhaust themselves, and even if they won¡¯t, it¡¯s not like the current situation is so bad, right? Not that many soldiers die, and it¡¯s much better to keep things as they are than go on the offensive and take a risk that we¡¯ll be outmaneuvered and annihilated. So yes, I do think we can win the war. In fact, we already are.¡±

    Sam mimicked writing in his end. ¡°Doesn¡¯t like the status quo. Wants to change the world order. Germany in the thirties, question mark.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to say the question mark part out loud. You were already writing that.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t have to say any of it out loud cause I¡¯m not one of those weirdos that need to speak in order to write.¡±

    ¡°And once again, I can see that you are trying to steer the conversation away from giving me a straight answer.¡±

    ¡°It takes two to steer a boat. And besides, I¡¯m not the only one that had yet to give a straight answer now, am I?¡±

    ¡°I beg to differ. I did give an answer. Just take everything I said and I think the opposite of that.¡±

    ¡°OK. So you don¡¯t think we can win the war. In fact, we are actually losing the war, but you really like the way things are now. No, wait, that other part was already the opposite. You think we can¡¯t win and you hate the current situation.¡±

    ¡°Half of that is right.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t win and you love to see people dying.¡±

    ¡°Nothing better than hearing their screams. No, of course not. Try again.¡±

    ¡°We can win, and you hate the current state of the war.¡±

    ¡°And what does winning look like?¡±

    ¡°Beating the Epiraks for good, I assume? I literately don¡¯t know. Do just drive them back until they surrender? Or will victory require us to genocide the other side? That¡¯s how it usually works in fantasy good versus evil scenarios.¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t going to surrender. We¡¯re fighting to the death. Either ours or theirs.¡±

    ¡°Genocide it is, then. Wow, who knew that Godwin¡¯s law would prove so true so quickly this time?¡±

    ¡°Is it that bad? Killing them all in order for them not to kill us?¡±

    ¡°No. Not if it is like you¡¯re saying. If this was a book, and I knew that the Epiraks were pure evil, then I would be all in on massacring them like they were the most common conception of Tolkien¡¯s orcs. But this isn¡¯t a book, because Sarah would hit me and cry if she knew that I was thinking like that, so I can¡¯t be that sure that they are the bad guys and we are the good guys.¡±

    Farris half smiled. ¡°Oh, believe me, you can be sure. And if your studies here won¡¯t be enough to convince you, then getting to the battlefield will.¡±

    ¡°Of course it will. Because that¡¯s how you foster hate. I¡¯ll fight the Epiraks and learn to see them as inhuman in order to make it easier on myself. In fact, I don¡¯t even have to learn because they are inhuman, no? They¡¯re an amalgamation of different races that have been corrupted or assimilated or whatever. They¡¯re pretty much monsters already, except that only some of them function like you say monsters do in this setting.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not every day that I hear someone defend the Epiraks. I guess that¡¯s what centuries of war do to a society. What did you say, ¡®foster hate?¡¯ That¡¯s exactly the right phrase.¡±

    ¡°Look, I¡¯m not trying to defend the Epiraks.¡± Especially not since I believe that they are going to kill us all. ¡°And I¡¯m not saying that we shouldn¡¯t fight them or anything. I¡¯m strictly with Orwell on the subject of pacifism. I¡¯m just saying that I can¡¯t be sure that the premise for genocide being justified, that they are pure evil and will never stop fighting unless we kill them all, is true.¡±

    ¡°What if you were fighting the Nazis? And you knew that each one of the citizens of Germany is an ardent believer in their monstrous ideology? That none of them would never lay down their arms in surrender until the entire world was dead under their heel? If that makes you feel any better, the Epiraks don¡¯t have children in their ranks.¡±

    ¡°And how can you be sure that they are the Nazis? What if we attacked them first or something along those lines, and they¡¯re the United States come to free Europe from the stain of Fascism?¡±

    ¡°An interesting conundrum. What if it is the ningani that brought the fight to the Epiraks first? Of course, that¡¯s not what happened. They attacked first in the west and later they attacked the blameless deshars. Sort of going through neutral Belgium, yeah?¡±

    ¡°I know that it¡¯s not what happened. But you¡¯re talking about genocide. It can¡¯t be black and white. What if there was something we did that caused them to attack us first?¡±

    ¡°What if there was? Did you do that? Did I? Did anyone still alive? No? Then why must we pay for their sins? So the Epiraks seek to kill us for the crimes of our ancestors, generations dead. How does that compare with their crime of butchering us for hundreds of years? It doesn¡¯t. So what if we were the bad guys first? They are much worse than we are, by all accounts, and they will never leave us alone. They will never settle for peace.¡±

    Sam shrugged his shoulders. He agreed with everything that Farris said, on principle at least. But he was afraid of seeing everything in binary shades when there was simply so much that he didn¡¯t know yet. ¡°Fine¡­ I¡¯ll tell you what. If the Epiraks are indeed, each and every one of them as irredeemable as the operators of the Final Solution, and as resolute in fighting on for their monstrous goal, then yes. Fuck them. Kill all of them if that¡¯s what it takes for us to win the war. They might be Uber Nazis, like you said. But they also might be just Romans and our side is Carthage. I just don¡¯t know yet.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fair, I suppose. And I do applaud you for your dedication to not seeing the worst in our enemies. I don¡¯t think that I have ever had the pleasure of hearing someone defend the Epiraks¡¯ right to existence as much as you just did. Which makes sense, because you didn¡¯t learn to hate them yet, now did you? Everyone of us that¡¯s born today is raised with the story of the evil Epiraks and so, isn¡¯t that taken for granted that we¡¯ll grow to hate them?¡± He then laughed, looking Sam straight in the eyes. ¡°But I didn¡¯t tell you that you are going to learn the Epiraks are evil because we are going to condition you to hate them. I truly meant what I said. You¡¯ll find yourself arrayed against them in battle and you¡¯ll understand it immediately. They are evil, pure and simple as that. You¡¯ll know that deep down in your bones the same way that you knew how to trace this morning.¡±

    Sam kept his composure as well as eye contact with the Ruler. ¡°If that really is the case. Then you¡¯ll find me advocating to kill them just as much as I had just advocated against it.¡±

    ¡°No advocating will be necessary, I assure you. But all of this is beside the point now, isn¡¯t it? You¡¯ve managed to derail our conversation almost completely. I had merely questioned you about your stance on ending the war and you¡¯ve managed to focus on the one topic that no one has any disagreements concerning. I¡¯ll redirect us back to my point of inquiry now, shall I? Do you believe that we can win the war?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Like you said, I barely know anything about it.¡±

    ¡°Then guess.¡±

    ¡°Alright then.¡± Sam was suddenly reminded of his joking comment to Sarah the first time she told him about the state of the war. At the time, he was more concerned about making a comment that would make him laugh, rather than one that would reflect his opinion regarding the war effort. But as shitty as that joke was, it was still a gut reaction, was it not? Would it not make for a convincing base on which to build a fabricated view for Farris¡¯s pleasure?

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t think that you can win. And I don¡¯t know whether winning means maintaining the status quo or pushing the Epiraks back and finishing the war for good. If it¡¯s the former than maybe you¡¯ve got a chance, seeing as you¡¯ve held out so long, but if it¡¯s the latter, then no way. You guys are literally surrounded, you got the Epiraks bearing down on you from east and west, which would have made for a pretty cliche premise for the last book in an epic fantasy trilogy where the heros have to race against time in order to beat the Dark Lord before his forces overwhelmed the last bastions of Good. But of course, this isn¡¯t a story, no matter how cliche things may seem, so we have to draw upon real-life examples in order to ascertain a conclusion. Let¡¯s do just that¡­ just did. Oh, it turns how that the number of times in which the defending nation in a multi-front (or two-front, for the pedant in me) war won is pretty damn low. You, excuse me, we (let¡¯s not alienate myself further from modern society) are fucked. Is that a good enough answer for you?¡±

    Farris cupped his chin as though pondering. ¡°No. That answer is too much of a downer. Try again.¡±

    ¡°OK. Then we¡¯re definitely going to win because we¡¯ve got you! And you¡¯re the best and bravest person in the whole wide world, I mean Web.¡±

    ¡°Better. But I want you to really believe what you¡¯re saying.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s impossible. I¡¯ve allocated the maximum amount of my belief capacity for appreciating your greatness. The rest of it is stuck being allocated to maintaining faith in the validity of my own existence and the continuous value of me living within it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s unfortunate. Does belief capacity work similar to magical capacity?¡±

    ¡°No. You¡¯re born with a set amount and it only shrinks from that point on.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s good that you¡¯re a Taken then, no?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m getting that you¡¯re trying to humor me and what not. But I wish that you¡¯ll just get to the point already. You¡¯ve dragged me all the way out here for a reason, right? Was it just to tell me that I need to believe that the war is winnable? To not be one of those doomsayers who treat defeat as a forgone conclusion?¡±

    ¡°Interesting. Once again, the novelty of your world view surprises me. I don¡¯t believe that I had mentioned total defeat as a realistic outcome of the war. But of course, from your point of view, the war hasn¡¯t been a generations-old constant. Why wouldn¡¯t total annihilation be on the table?¡±

    ¡°Now, hold on. Don¡¯t try to paint me as some ignorant slut who doesn¡¯t understand the military state of affairs, or worse yet as some novel genius who is untethered to the military establishment¡¯s age old conceptions. You¡¯re the one that raised complete defeat as a viable possibility.¡±

    Farris wrinkled his face in disagreement. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure that I didn¡¯t. I only introduced you to two possibilities: One where victory means carrying on with the current state of affairs and one where it means ending the war and eradicating the Epirak threat once and for good. Seems to me that you are letting some personal bias color your speech.¡±

    Sam averted his eyes from the smiling elf and bit his lips in contemplation. Was Farris right? Was it Sam who introduced losing the war as a possible outcome? Obviously, he thought of losing the war as a possibility, a very real one. But was that only because he was bequeathed knowledge that no one else seemed to have? Did the possibility of their complete loss truly never enter the minds of the commanding officers of the Web, such as the general before him? ¡°So you don¡¯t see defeat as a possible outcome of the war?¡±

    ¡°Of course I do. I¡¯d be a piss poor general if I took even maintaining the status quo for granted. But most people? They aren¡¯t as worried about it as you or me. They aren¡¯t burdened with the mantle of command, the knowledge that some of their decisions could potentially mean the death of every person who knows their name. How about it, eh? You¡¯re not the only one who has anxiety clawing for their sanity, so no reason to beat yourself up about it.¡±

    ¡°Who says I¡¯m beating myself up?¡±

    ¡°All the jokes that are meant to strengthen the notion that you, and not your anxiety, are the one in charge of your actions.¡±

    ¡°Wow, you sound like an expert in the field. Had to mange your niece¡¯s mental state in your purview as her mentor as well?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Erianna had been blessed with a steadfast and self-assured mind. I¡¯m speaking to you from personal experience. Like I said, anxiety has its dirty hooks in me as well.¡±

    ¡°Really now¡­ you don¡¯t seem all too bothered by it. If I was in your shoes, I¡¯d be catatonic with the weight of responsibility on my shoulders. And yet, here you are, shirking in your duties, wasting time on me without a care in the world. Even if you also have anxiety.¡± What the hell am I saying? ¡°It¡¯s got to be of a different kind than the one I¡¯m familiar with cause you seem to be doing just fine. Or is that what this all talk is about? You want to assure me that in due time I¡¯ll be able to master myself and be just as calm as you are?¡± Why the fuck did I just say that?!

    ¡°Nothing so crass, I assure you. I simply¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wait no, sorry. I didn¡¯t mean what I just said. About you having different or lesser anxiety than me. That¡¯s just bullshit. I don¡¯t believe in that objective suffering crap. I¡¯m sure your struggles are just as valid and difficult as mine, if not more.¡±

    Farris tsked. ¡°No, they aren¡¯t, but I¡¯m not going to try and convince you to be more sympathetic for yourself. My point was, that if you took who I was at your age, and put him where I am now. Just like you, I would be paralyzed from anxiety. We¡¯re not born perfect, Sam, and even those of us who are born almost perfect, like my favorite nephew¡¯s sister, are going to crumble when the weight of the world is suddenly thrust on their shoulders. I got where I am now, for good and for bad, bit by bit. Just like you would. Perhaps today, being a general seems so far beyond you that you just can¡¯t comprehend yourself functioning in that position. But we don¡¯t have to go that far. Perhaps just being a simple solider or fuck it, a simple cadet, feels like it¡¯s too much for you to handle. It just feels like that. Nothing is beyond you as long as you take it step by step. If I could do it, then so could you.¡±

    ¡°There are absolutely no indicators for you to make that kind of observation on my behalf.¡±

    ¡°Of course there are. If I was in your shoes, I¡¯d be much worse for wear than you are currently.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m only functioning as I am because my mind is so hopped up on magic that any negative feeling that rears its head is soon drowned out by a wave of enforced indifference. I assure you, once this magical state of mind runs out, I¡¯m going to be bawling my eyes out, neck deep in depression and back to my same old obsessively anxious self.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°I doubt that. But just in case that does happen. Then I assure you, I¡¯ll be there to pull you out of it. Well, not me personally. I probably won¡¯t get the chance to come back and visit so soon. But I¡¯ll send my best, and I¡¯ll threaten physical harm and withdrawal of resources to Dan if he doesn¡¯t dedicate himself to making you feel better.¡± He thumped his chest with a wide smile. ¡°And of course, your new friends; I¡¯ll make sure to put pressure on Erianna, so she, in turn, will influence Yvessa to your side. I realize that it might not sound like much, but I¡¯m afraid that your new friends are not the kind of people who are easily bought off. Still, if things don¡¯t work out with them, then I¡¯m not above paying some people who can be bought off to be your friends. Because that¡¯s the kind of things that a mentor does!¡±

    ¡°For some reason, I feel really sorry for your niece.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t, trust me. Or ask Yvessa if you don¡¯t trust me.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t. I don¡¯t really care either way. Good talk though.¡±

    ¡°Talk¡¯s not over yet.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t? You¡¯re really stretching your screen time, aren''t you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not the one that keeps changing topics! I just wanted to have a nice and motivational pep talk about not surrendering to the miasma that is seeing the war as frozen. To train you with the mindset of ¡®I¡¯m going to be part of the generation that brings this war to an end,¡¯ and not to see yourself as just another name in an endless line of Rulers who are destined to live and die in the never changing front. You¡¯re the one that kept us veering off point with your talk of morals and defeatism and your entirely appropriate, if in my opinion misplaced, self doubt. I just wanted you to remember our last interaction for the day as one in which your hope soared and your fires raged. That in a few decades you¡¯ll be telling of today as the first stepping stone on the road that lead you to become that man you were always destined to be. Was that too much to ask?! I just wanted one mentee, one! Who I could have this conversation with and convince them that ending the war for good is possible in their lifetimes! Was is really so hard to just go along with it?¡±

    ¡°Oh. Is that a question? Or are you about to go off on another grand speech?¡±

    Farris let his head drop and made as though he were drying his eyes with his forearms. ¡°Just say that I¡¯ve convinced you. And that because of me, you¡¯re going to train with the mindset of ending the war for good.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Oh Farris! My precious mentor, you¡¯ve convinced me! Before I met you, I was beset by self-doubt as to my ability to help win this great war that I¡¯ve been placed into. I was sure that defeat was inevitable and that I won¡¯t be able to be the person I¡¯m required to be in order to change the tides of combat. But you! You drove that shade from even the deepest breadths of my heart and set me free, unshackled from the burdens of fear and anxiety, from the weight of responsibility that I must bear upon my, oh so very fragile, shoulders. I am a new man, General Farris! A better man! A hopeful man! You have made me into the man that I was always meant to be, the person that I always wished to become. And for that, you have my thanks, my everlasting gratitude. My ever so wonderful mentor and friend. And if the fates will it, and I end up making something of myself in the short time allotted to me on this precarious earth, then I will always make sure to dedicate any and all of my successes, and non of my failures, to you and you only. Thank you!¡±

 Chapter 50

    ¡°Do you truly mean it?¡± Farris asked, eyes wide.

    ¡°No,¡± Sam replied in a manner that sought to make sure that Farris knew that he had just lost, if indeed he ever had any, all respect he had for the Ruler for asking such a stupid question.

    ¡°Well you could¡¯ve lied.¡±

    ¡°Hey chin up! That¡¯s just what happens when I start to consider someone as a close friend, as a person that I like. I stop pretending around them and go back to acting like my true self, not caring in the slightest whether the things I say make them like me more or less. You should be proud. There aren¡¯t that many people who can confidently say that I treated them without caring what they think of me.¡±

    ¡°Really? Because it seems to me that you treat everyone this way.¡±

    ¡°Mhmm¡­ I wouldn¡¯t know about that. But you might be right. I haven¡¯t been analyzing my recent social interactions as much as I usually do. Although, to be fair, I already sort of dropped the habit after the first couple of days in the hospital. And with the further changes that happened six days ago¡­ It would make sense if I didn¡¯t act like I usually do.¡±

    ¡°What does that mean for me? Do you like me or not?¡±

    ¡°You have heard of boundaries in the workspace, right? That¡¯s not a question you should ever be asking someone who you have power over.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s going to make dating even harder for me! You know how many single Rulers there are that I¡¯m not obviously stronger than them? And then you have to reduce the number even further, counting out all the guys and incompatible races.¡±

    ¡°The second one is definitely more of a choice. Having children isn¡¯t everything you know?¡±

    ¡°No, but sex is! Lucky for me there aren¡¯t any applicable dwarven Rulers, so you can¡¯t point to the fact that I¡¯m not attracted to dwarves as me being selective.¡±

    ¡°I thought that dwarves are incompatible with us?¡±

    ¡°For procreating, yes. But they still have the same bits and dangles. We just can¡¯t create any viable offspring.¡±

    ¡°Interesting¡­ very interesting¡­¡± Sam cupped his chin.

    ¡°Why are you saying it like that?¡±

    ¡°Oh, sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? Maybe now you¡¯ll begin to appreciate how it feels to have a grown man who proclaimed himself your mentor, is fifty years older than you, will be your boss¡¯s boss squared in a couple of years, and worse of all can easily kill you, ask you if you like him.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m only forty-seven. I¡¯ll have you know. Besides, you can¡¯t keep switching between making jokes on how you¡¯re older than everyone else to making jokes about how old I am. That¡¯s just not fair.¡±

    ¡°Well, life isn¡¯t fair. Maybe when you¡¯ll get to my age, you¡¯ll understand that.¡± They both had to stop and laugh at that point, the last remains of the tense energy generated by their previous discussion evaporating like the Epiraks might have to if it turns out that Farris was right. ¡°So, did you get everything that you wanted to talk to me about out of the way? Or is there another topic that you wanted to open up and that would get us dragged into a dozen different tangents?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that you¡¯re taking your responsibility in redirecting conversations as seriously as you should. From what limited exposure to you I¡¯ve been privy to, it¡¯s you that¡¯s usually behind the conversation getting sidetracked.¡±

    ¡°Nah, that¡¯s not on me. I¡¯m like a horse. If you don¡¯t blind me sideways, then I¡¯m going to get distracted. It¡¯s other people¡¯s job to make sure that I won¡¯t stray off the path.¡±

    ¡°A very mature attitude. I am sure that it will serve you well in the years to come.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure it will. Especially with you as my mentor!¡±

    ¡°OK, enough of that. I do really need to go. While there are plenty of things that I would still be happy to sit down and talk with you about. Some of them even have something to do with my mentor¡¯s duties towards you and not just satisfying my own desires. I¡¯m afraid that a more pressing duty does indeed call, and have been calling for the last couple of minutes.¡± He took out his phone from his pocket and typed a quick massage. ¡°Lucky I was on silence, eh?¡±

    ¡°How¡¯d you know that someone was calling you then?¡±

    ¡°Magic,¡± Farris said with a smile while tapping his eye.

    ¡°If it turns out to be bullshit and your phone was just on vibrate, I¡¯m dropping you as my mentor.¡±

    ¡°Who can say? You¡¯ll have to remember to ask your private tutor that question once they get here. But for now, we¡¯ll have to bid our farewell. It¡¯s been a pleasure making your acquaintance, Sam Anders, and an even bigger pleasure being your mentor, despite the short time we had available. Remember, if you need my help, don¡¯t hesitate to send me a word, even if you consider the matter too minor for my attention. That¡¯s what mentors are for.¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± Sam replied and was prepared to bid Farris farewell before the Ruler stepped forth and engulfed him in a hug.

    ¡°Ah, yes. That¡¯s the real deal. Put some effort into it, will you?¡± Sam relented. ¡°Good. That¡¯s how real men are supposed to say goodbye. None of that toxic masculinity bullshit that you might be carrying from your time.¡±

    Finally, Farris released him from the hug. ¡°Oh, like you guys don¡¯t have that shit as well?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Maybe we do, maybe we don¡¯t. We¡¯ll have to discuss it next time we meet. Goodbye for now Sam.¡± The Ruler tipped his head and began rising up in the air.

    ¡°Or maybe I¡¯ll just google it! Or better yet, ask Yvessa!¡± Sam called out after him before he managed to fly away. ¡°Shit, people can fly. I totally forgot about that,¡± Sam muttered to himself. ¡°Although that¡¯s probably just Rulers, right? Will have to ask someone. Luckily, I¡¯m due to a meeting with not one but two different knowledgeable persons. Sarah counts as a knowledgeable, doesn¡¯t she? Yeah, of course she does. Compared to me. It¡¯s just that I¡¯ve just finished spending the day with someone at the top of the food/knowledge chain as well as have been doted on by two other people who rank much higher than Sarah on the ladder. No reason to stop seeing Sarah as my go to knowledge font,¡± said someone who was definitely beginning to stop seeing Sarah as the go to knowledge font.

    He took out his phone and wrote to Sarah that he was finished with Farris on his way to meet her. He also wrote to Dan that he would be at his office in a couple of minutes. A great way to force Sarah to keep their meeting short. Sam had no trouble with putting his and Sarah¡¯s issues and considerations up on the table for discussion. Strike that. Sam had some trouble with the notion, but not enough to shirk from the confrontation.

    As he picked up his steps and breathed in, he was once again faced with the fact that he forgot to bring his headphones with him. Although that was more of forgetting to bring his backpack along than just his headphones. Thing is, he was starting to find that going places without music ringing in his ears to distract him from any errant thoughts was a little easier than it used to be.

    Must be all that magic flowing through my brain. Come to think of it, I haven¡¯t really felt bored ever since coming here. Although that¡¯s not that surprising, is it? I was, am, in shock. And when you¡¯re in shock, the whole world just passes you by and you don¡¯t really care how it happens. And I should know a thing or two about being in shock. I¡¯ve had a power outage ruin a full day¡¯s work by corrupting the only save I had going on that day. Nah, that doesn¡¯t really land if I don¡¯t name a specific game. And obviously there¡¯s no subversion of expectations if they don¡¯t know that I lost my legs. That¡¯s one for the dustbin then.

    But he was feeling quite fine, he was reluctant to admit. Despite the hectic morning, his struggles with magic, and meeting one of the most powerful people alive, his anxiety wasn¡¯t bugging him as much as he expected it to. And that wasn¡¯t an expectation brought from his old magic-less asthmatic self, but from the last couple of days. He expected, after yesterday¡¯s conversation with Web-Web, to feel frantic the entire day, hoping to master his usage of magic and begin catching up with his peers. Instead, he felt¡­ fine. Not completely calm, he was still Sam Anders after all, but relatively calm for sure.

    He was further reluctant to admit that the main reason for his current state of mind was probably Farris. Sure, the general¡¯s speech about being an anxious wreck as well and knowing what Sam was going through, as well as claiming that if he was in Sam¡¯s shoes, then he would¡¯ve been handling it all much worse, was all a familiar verbiage that Sam had heard plenty of times before. But it still helped. Never had he heard it from someone as important as Farris was.

    But it wasn¡¯t just the part where Farris assured him that it was natural for him to be anxious that provided a calming balm for Sam¡¯s psyche. It was the Ruler¡¯s behavior towards him the entire day, or morning rather. Farris didn¡¯t know what Sam knew. As far as he was concerned, if Sam didn¡¯t match up to his expectations, that wouldn¡¯t mean the end of the world for anyone. But he still, even if because of the stupidest of reasons, believed in Sam. Thought that he was going to be able to make a change in the gigantic maelstrom that was the war against the Epiraks.

    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    And Farris, just like Web-Web, thought that Sam was doing fine. Which, of course, he was doing fine. He was only here for six fucking days, for Christ¡¯s sake. How much can you expect a person to do in that short a period if they didn¡¯t start the first day with ¡°let there be light?¡± But expectations and anxiety weren¡¯t known for being reasonable and accommodating, so of course Sam was going to get worried about how he was doing, even if he hadn¡¯t yet done anything capable of being measured. So it did make him feel better, that someone who actually had expectations of him, that didn¡¯t end every second sentence by saying that it was fine if he was struggling and to take his time because the war wasn¡¯t going anywhere. That a person like that saw something in Sam that Sam was hoping to see in himself.

    And goddammit! He¡¯ll never admit it to anyone, not even to himself, but giving Farris that stupid spiel about how he helped him see that winning the war was a possibility had actually made him feel better. Up to now he had never actually said that he was going to make it and save the Web, not to himself and much less out loud. So saying that aloud, and even better, having someone there to hear it was like opening a dam for Sam¡¯s hope to begin flowing through. The path before him was going to be incredibly long and difficult, and who knows if he¡¯ll even be the same person at the end of it, let alone make it all the way through. But it was now a possibility. It rang out through the world as a possible vision of the future. Victory, not defeat nor failure, was now officially in the cards for Sam Anders. So fuck it! Hadn¡¯t Web-Web chosen him for a reason? Didn¡¯t that mean that Sam was, in someway, the best person for the job of saving the world?

    Sure it did, you only had to trust that the antisocial AI was guided by benevolence and that they were more competent than they kept coming off to Sam. You also had to believe that the AI took into account Sam¡¯s personality and not only his Thread-Weaver¡¯s talents, so that they were not blindsided by having to babysit Sam¡¯s fragile psyche. If all those prerequisites, and any other that Sam¡¯s self-doubt would later be able to come up with, were true. Then Sam was indeed the best person for the job of saving the world, the Web. All you had to do was put your trust in a cognizant being that didn¡¯t reject receiving the name Web-Web.

    But now, Sam could also put his trust in a weird elf dude that decided to drop everything he was doing, plunge an actively deployed military¡¯s bureaucracy into chaos, and endure countless insults and unnecessary jabs, all in order to make friends with a person who was having a way easier time making friends than he was used to.

    My god, but how good I am at bringing myself down whenever I deem myself happier or calmer than I ought to be? Let¡¯s not mention that the ¡®weird elf dude¡¯ in question is one of the strongest people in the Web. And that despite his lackadaisical attitude towards his position, he does seem to take his job rather seriously. Or that all the faults that I listed with Web-Web are to be expected because they¡¯re an AI and are probably behaving like most AIs would be in their position.

    ¡°Nah, let¡¯s not mention that. More funny that way.¡± He chuckled to himself.

    ¡°Not mention what?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Gah! Where did you come from?¡±

    ¡°That bench over there. Maybe you would have seen me if you weren¡¯t starting straight down at the ground.¡±

    ¡°I was thinking. I was deep in thought. And you could at least congratulate me on being comfortable enough to not notice my surrounding so early into my inhabiting this new environment of ours. And¡­ and, of so easily finding my way here after only making the journey twice before.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± Sarah said with a genuine smile, which Sam knew to be genuine because her only other smile was sarcastic and really fucking obvious in its artificiality. ¡°It¡¯s great that you¡¯re getting used to this place so quickly, and that you feel safe and confident enough to walk around without looking every which way. God knows that it took me much longer to get used to this world. I am happy for you.¡±

    ¡°There it is again. You guys, Farris, Dan, even Maurice. You¡¯re always going on about how good I¡¯m doing compared to every other Taken or just compared to your worst fears of how I would take things. You¡¯re giving me way too much credit. I¡¯m just a normal twenty-years old. The only reason I¡¯m doing so good is because I¡¯m high with magic and able to walk on two legs once again. Did I mention that already? How much better my personal situation is now compared to what it was a week and a hundred years ago? I assure you, if I hadn¡¯t lost my legs, then I wouldn¡¯t be dealing with all this bullshit as well as you¡¯re saying I am. I bet that the moment my brain gets used to its new digs that I¡¯m going to break down completely.¡±

    Sarah crossed her hands with a frown. ¡°I¡¯ll take that bet. Gladly. If I managed not to break down completely, then you¡¯re going to manage that just fine. And I¡¯m willing to bet whatever you want on it¡ªI¡¯m not finished! I don¡¯t get why you always have to try and bring yourself down and to try and downplay how amazing you¡¯ve been handling things. OK, maybe that¡¯s just who you are. I get it. But you¡¯re wrong if you think that I¡¯m just gonna stand here and let you badmouth yourself like everything you¡¯re saying is truth given form.

    ¡°People don¡¯t give you ¡®too much credit.¡¯ Because in their eyes they¡¯re giving you your just dues. They see what you¡¯re going to, and they try to empathize, or they¡¯re reminded of what they went through and they reach a conclusion that you¡¯re doing amazing. That¡¯s because you are! And it¡¯s not the magic that you keep falling back on, as you¡¯re going to realize in a couple of months.¡±

    Sam held his hands up, admitting defeat. He wasn¡¯t even sure if he meant what he said to get Sarah¡¯s fuse going, or if he was just joking around. Probably a little of both. But one thing he was sure of was that he didn¡¯t want Sarah mad at him because that¡¯ll only end up with her being mad at herself. And he wasn¡¯t going to repay all the kindness that she has shown him by making her feel like shit. That fuck up was up to future, lacking any self-control, Sam to commit. Oh boy, he almost laughed at that one and Sarah clocked it, but if he told her what it was that he just smiled about, that was just going to make the situation worse. He had to lie with the truth. ¡°Sorry about that, was just thinking about how nice it was that I have yours and everyone else¡¯s support despite having just met. Definitely a better treatment than I got from the hospital staff back when.¡±

    ¡°Well of course we¡¯re helping you.¡± Sarah smiled and gave herself away. ¡°A future Ruler is more than worth their weight in gold.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t force yourself, buddy.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Sarah lied. ¡°Never mind that. You still haven¡¯t told me what you¡¯re not going to mention. And that makes two for stuff that you owe me an answer to!¡±

    ¡°Gah! Isn¡¯t a man free to pursue his ever-evolving thoughts in peace? Have you considered that the things I was thinking about don¡¯t have anything to do with you?¡±

    ¡°I have not, in fact, considered that possibility. But either way, I am certain of the fact that it had something to do with you and how you¡¯re handling everything, and that makes it my business. Why? Did whatever you were thinking about not have anything to do with me?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Sam croaked. ¡°OK, no. But just the first one. Look, I¡¯m going to be completely and one-hundred percent honest and transparent with you, I¡¯ll tell you what I was thinking about back in breakfast because it did have something to do with you and I do want to talk with you about it. But you have to promise me that we¡¯re not going to have this discussion now, or even today, for that matter. Let¡¯s schedule tomorrow evening or something and air out all of our grievances then, alright? Only then will I tell you the truth.¡±

    Sarah huffed and narrowed her eyes at Sam. ¡°Alright, but just because I was planning to spend tomorrow evening with you anyway, celebrating the end of your first week here. Works great cause like that you won¡¯t have to skip a workout. And what about the ¡®not mention¡¯ bit?¡±

    ¡°That was just a joke. I was thinking of stuff that made me happy and said ¡®let¡¯s not mention them¡¯ cause it will stop me from being depressed.¡±

    ¡°Why am I not surprised... So the other thing? I promise that I won¡¯t get mad.¡±

    ¡°Fine. The truth is that I was feeling bad about making you worried about the whole ¡®this world is a story¡¯ bullshit¡ª¡±

    ¡°So you really believe it!?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say that you won¡¯t interrupt?¡±

    ¡°I said that I won¡¯t get mad, not that I won¡¯t jump in!¡±

    ¡°Well you don¡¯t sound very calm right about now.¡±

    ¡°Sorry¡­ go ahead.¡±

    ¡°So, like I said, I was feeling bad about making you feel bad because you are worried about my sanity or whatever. But I was also annoyed, with me not with you, well¡­ a little with you, but only because I didn¡¯t want you to feel bad. But mostly with myself, because I wouldn¡¯t have made that stupid joke, no matter how stimulating the following discussion proved to be, if I knew that it would make you worried about me as you were.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t that worried.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not. But in my mind, you were blaming yourself for something that didn¡¯t have anything to do with you; that wasn¡¯t even really true, all because you feel this great sense of responsibility for me.¡± He drew a breath, formulating his next words before slowly exhaling it. ¡°So what I was thinking about was our relationship in short, or rather, the negative aspects of it. How I feel that you¡¯re over burdening and worrying yourself for my sake and how loathsome I am for doing or saying something that makes you feel concerned for me. Now, I don¡¯t know exactly what went through my head, but I was mostly thinking about how to let you know about my worrying about your worrying and how to try and get you to stop feeling so worried and responsible for me.¡± He scratched his head, not sure if there was anything else that should be said.

    ¡°Are you finished?¡± Sarah asked curtly.

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Alright. I get what you¡¯re saying. And while I don¡¯t agree with it, I did promise you that I wouldn¡¯t get mad. But I¡¯ll just say this, no matter how you feel, no matter what sort of ¡®consensus¡¯ we¡¯ll come to tomorrow, if any. There is no way that I am going to stop feeling responsible for you, because the Sam Anders as I¡¯ve grown to know him in the last couple of days isn¡¯t going to do anything that will stop me caring about him. And yes, I care about you, as unbelievable or cliche as that might sound to you. Because I like you as a person, Sam, no matter what faults you may find with yourself. And because you are one of only a select group of people with whom I can really talk about my previous life. And even if you turn out to be an asshole in the long run, or if I end up as one, that¡¯s never going to change. It¡¯s a fact. Just like it¡¯s the fact that I¡¯m not actually ¡®overburdening¡¯ myself for you. But fine, I¡¯ll save it for tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°OK, so since we¡¯re saving stuff for tomorrow but still allowing ourself to get one last word in, I¡¯ll simply counter by asking you, ¡®Where are you supposed to be now?¡¯¡±

    She narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°Aren¡¯t you the one that suggested that I drop some of my course load?¡±

    ¡°I was there, yes. But I¡¯m not going to believe that you actually followed through until I see it in black ink. Or in pixels, since I assume the academy manages the schedules electronically.¡±

    ¡°Fine then. I¡¯ll be on my way. But don¡¯t even think about trying to worm your way out of our conversation tomorrow, got it?¡± Sam nodded and before he could respond, he was once again, no more than a couple of minutes removed from the last one, embraced by another person in a hug without him giving the verbal consent for it. Still, he hugged Sarah back since he figured that even if she wasn¡¯t strong enough to wipe him off the face of the earth in a second, she more than deserved it. ¡°I¡¯m really happy that Farris is your new mentor. Just goes to show that I¡¯m right about your potential.¡± She broke off the hug with a laugh and began running in the direction of, presumably, her class. But not before shouting at him that they¡¯re meeting again for dinner and that she¡¯ll text him when and where.

 Chapter 51

    Sam knocked on the door to Dan¡¯s office and entered after being given the invitation inside. Dan was sitting at his table, staring at the computer screen. ¡°Ah Sam,¡± he said without looking up. ¡°Please, take a sit. I¡¯ll be with you momentarily. Just got to finish something here.¡±

    ¡°Not any more of the stuff that Farris dumped your way right?¡± Sam asked while taking his sit, grateful for the glass of water already prepared for him.

    ¡°No, just the usual assortment of paperwork, for good and bad.¡± Another minute passed before Dan was finished with his work. ¡°And how has your day been since our parting?¡± he asked while carrying his familiar steaming hot cup of tea over from the desk and sitting across to Sam. ¡°Did the general put your time together to good use?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I should say so. We had a lot to talk about. He taught me gathering. A bunch of other stuff that I already managed to forget. A discussion about whether the genocide of the Epiraks could be morally justified¡­ But I¡¯ll admit to not having enough solid base of knowledge for most of the arguments I presented.¡±

    ¡°An interesting topic.¡± Dan took a sip of his drink. ¡°One that is rarely discussed nowadays, particularly with the state of the war being what it is. Am I to assume that Farris argued for the Epiraks¡¯ extinction?¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Why would you disagree?¡±

    ¡°Hardly. You¡¯ll learn for yourself in that it¡¯s much easier to face yourself in the mirror after killing an Epirak compared with what you¡¯re probably expecting, having only our own bloody history of warfare to draw from. But if you won¡¯t take others at their word and are rushing to make a decision on the matter. You could conduct some research concerning the causes of PTSD among our veterans. You¡¯ll find that remorse for one¡¯s enemy and actions against them are not to be found amongst those of us who are war-weary.¡±

    ¡°Nah, I¡¯ll take your word for it. I¡¯ll see it for myself in due time anyway, so it¡¯s not like it matters much to me now. After all, it¡¯s not like anyone¡¯s giving me the codes for the nukes and asked me to decide their fate. Speaking of which, I also discovered that nukes are apparently still a thing.¡±

    ¡°In certain circumstances, yes. But Shallenet remains the only example of their usage. Even following the battle, after the ningani and Imperials changed their minds and asked for nuclear weapons to be sent to the west as well.¡±

    ¡°Man, I really got to read up on that battle.¡±

    ¡°And you will. During your second and third year here, and particularly your first year of deployment, during your Military Training. You have plenty of time dedicated to the grander aspects of a military life ahead of you.¡±

    ¡°Even if I don¡¯t plan to be in command?¡±

    ¡°You might not plan for it, but is it really up to you? If you find yourself as the sole Ruler in a cutoff unit where the strongest person beside you is only level 8, will you let anyone else assume command? Do you think your fellow soldiers will let anyone else assume command?¡±

    ¡°Right, of course not. The whole ¡®strongest lead¡¯ aspect that you guys have got going on. Guess that will mean that I¡¯ll have to evolve from an armchair strategist into¡­ I don¡¯t know, a regular one.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you end up finding that strategy is truly an anathema to your being, you¡¯ll only be asked to give it in very dire situations, like the one I just described. But in the much greater likelihood that you and command won¡¯t be such polar opposites, then yes; you will be required to take part in the decision making, and much more importantly, the decision implementing, process. After all, like the famous saying goes, you must be familiar with it: ¡®With great power comes great responsibility.¡¯ Leadership is just another such burden of strength.¡±

    ¡°OK, I¡¯m so taken aback that you¡¯ve just used that quote that I¡¯m not even going to question why you believe I¡¯m going to be suitable for command. You realize that the ¡®famous saying¡¯ is from a fucking comic book, right? You know, a book with pictures. Children¡¯s entertainment.¡±

    ¡°I did know that, yes. But what does that have to do with anything? Adages come to us from all sorts of sources and in many forms. This is just the most common Terran saying for a very widespread notion and as far as this one goes, it¡¯s easy to remember. It carries its meaning loud and clear. What more could you want in a quote?¡±

    ¡°Fine. Just as long as you don¡¯t quote anything from Alan Moore.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea who that is.¡±

    ¡°Just as well. I don¡¯t really know anything about the guy besides him being famous for presumably being really good at his job. And you can¡¯t make a joke about a guy based on just that¡­ Where were we?¡±

    ¡°Taking about the burdens of command and how the next three years are meant to prepare you for it.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ Farris also mentioned how I have the habit of completely derailing a conversation.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say completely, but I have noticed that pattern of behavior myself. But rest assured, if I felt that you were wasting our time by changing a topic, then I would redirect you straight away.¡±

    ¡°So that whole bit about comics books wasn¡¯t a waste of our time? Or me asking this very question?¡±

    ¡°Just a natural expression of one¡¯s personality, perfectly acceptable usage of our time together.¡±

    ¡°Wow. You managed to say that with a completely straight face. Nice.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because I was completely serious. Believe me, you are far and away from being anything remotely close to a problem student. Especially since we haven¡¯t even begun our lesson yet.¡±

    Sam clapped his thighs. ¡°Right, let¡¯s get to it then.¡±

    ¡°Gladly. I¡¯ll just finish interrogating you on your time spent with Farris, if you don¡¯t mind. While I won¡¯t question his motives for showing interest in you, I would like to know how he showed that interest. Both in my capacity as your teacher and as a Terran officer.¡±

    ¡°Your loss then,¡± Sam said and started spilling the beans about the wonderful morning that he had shared with his new mentor, although he said no more about their last conversation, not wanting to get dragged into yet another discussion about what he thought of the future of the war. He mainly focused on what Farris taught him of gathering, and declaring himself a mentor to Sam. ¡°Oh that reminds me,¡± Sam said once he was finished regaling Dan with his tale, ¡°he flew. That¡¯s a Ruler only thing, right?¡±

    ¡°Practically, yes. Us mere mortals have to consign ourself to technology in order to achieve the wonder that is flight.¡±

    ¡°Or we could have a Ruler carry us.¡±

    ¡°Or that. But let¡¯s move on to gathering. Show me your process exactly as Farris taught you. Don¡¯t worry about the first stage taking longer due to where you imagined your core to be. Ultimately, it¡¯s best for beginners to focus sensing outwards from around their heads. That¡¯s where most of our senses are, and it¡¯s what comes most naturally to us when we want to perceive the outside world. I trust that your core is still full, yes?¡±

    It should have been, but Sam checked down and inside of him just in case, nodding once he confirmed that. Then, he proceed to gather just like before. At first, finding it harder than the last time he tried, but slowly and surely getting more used to the process, seeing fewer failures and finishing the cycles faster. All that time, he was also growing used to the feeling of magic in his body and, more importantly, the magic in his core. It still felt like being drawn into a whirlwind of contrasting sensations when he looked at the magic swirling and/or keeping still inside of him, but he was finding it easier to maintain his focus instead of being completely drawn into the maelstrom.

    After some time, which Sam was surprised to discover was more than an hour, once he checked the clock, Dan told him to open his eyes and asked, ¡°How was it?¡±

    ¡°Pretty good. Hard, but not physically hard. Like if I had to, I could do this the whole day and I¡¯ll probably get bored before I get tired. But fuck, I can¡¯t actually believe that it¡¯s been an hour. It seemed much shorter than that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the good thing about gathering. It demands constant attention and creates a relatively minor mental strain in return. And another good thing is that you seemed to be enjoying yourself while doing it. I know people who moan every time that they have to gather because they get bored so quickly.¡±

    ¡°Children, you mean.¡±

    ¡°And adults. I¡¯m sure I could find you level 10s who are more happy about not having to cultivate anymore than about the prospect of becoming a Ruler. Not that gathering ever stops, but that¡¯s a lesson that¡¯s so far off in your future that you probably won¡¯t learn it from me,¡± Dan said with a smile.

    ¡°You know, I really think that you guys are getting off on telling me stuff that ¡®I¡¯m not supposed to know quite yet¡¯ and then not expanding on them.¡±

    ¡°Furthest thing from my mind. Just didn¡¯t want you to develop any incorrect expectations regarding how gathering works in the higher levels. Now, what I want you to do is walk me through a gathering cycle while narrating out loud what you¡¯re doing. We are going to try and do that a couple of times. It¡¯s going to be hard going at first. You¡¯re probably going to make a misstep because you find it hard to focus, but that¡¯s alright. We¡¯ll be training your concentration while at the same time analyzing your technique. Start when you¡¯re ready.¡±

    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    Sam did, and his initial feelings of embarrassment were quickly replaced by annoyance at this repeated failures at the new task. Mainly because it went against the way Sam had been gathering up until now. Before, he was simply doing what felt right, going by Farris¡¯s instructions and not giving too much thought to the process. Like lifting weights where you¡¯ve already done the exercise a thousand times before. But now, he was forced to think about what he was doing while he was doing it, and the consequence was that a barrier had formed between what came naturally to Sam and what Sam ended up doing. That¡¯s not to say that he was necessarily doing things wrong, but now, instead of devoting all of his attention to lifting the weights, he was forced to devote some of it to making sure he was lifting it correctly. Obviously, this was one of Dan¡¯s intentions for the exercise, and the right thing to do in the long run. But it was just so fucking annoying.

    Eventually, he managed to complete one cycle to silent applause and just the sound of his own clenched jaw. Without a new directive from Dan, he was forced to keep going and subjecting the older man to the grating qualities of Sam¡¯s voice. Amazingly, another cycle shortly followed Sam¡¯s first one, but the late arrival of the third one proved that was just a matter of luck. Luck or not, the fourth one came not too long after the third, at which point Dan finally relented and released Sam from his duty of narration. He had him do a couple more cycles in quiet. And Sam was happy to discover that by the time Dan had told him to open his eyes, Sam had not failed to complete even a single cycle. Things were looking up.

    ¡°Not bad,¡± Dan said with a reassuring smile. ¡°Let¡¯s break for lunch. I¡¯ll explain to you what you did right and wrong once we¡¯re back.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I¡¯m not that hungry. Let¡¯s keep going.¡±

    ¡°You might not be hungry, but your body surely is. And don¡¯t forget that you have a diet that you need to stick with. Besides, don¡¯t I get a say in the matter? I had to forgo breakfast, after all.¡±

    ¡°Oh right, of course.¡±

    Dan stood up, finishing the rest of his cup (was it third or fourth?) in one gulp. ¡°Let¡¯s go then.¡±

    ¡°Wait, you¡¯re coming with?¡± Sam got up as well.

    ¡°Are you too embarrassed to be seen with anyone who isn¡¯t a Ruler, now that your mentor is one?¡±

    ¡°Nah, I just thought that we were going to eat separately or something.¡± Sam followed Dan out of the office as they began to make their way downstairs. ¡°Because if we¡¯re eating lunch together, then why can¡¯t you go over my gathering during it? That is, if it¡¯s alright with you, of course.¡±

    Dan shook his head with the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. ¡°It¡¯s not alright with me. Breaks are an important part in education, a requirement for someone to be able and maintain their focus in the short run and motivation in the long run.¡±

    Sam wanted to keep arguing, saying that he was more than used to long hours of studying and that a half hour of lunch being used to go over some stuff wasn¡¯t going to do him any harm. The words got stuck in his throat however, as it dawned on him that if he started disagreeing with his instructors¡¯ lesson plans for him because he thought that they were taking it too easy on him, then that would open the door for disagreeing if he felt that they were going too hard. So the most cautious method of behavior in this case was to acquiesce to all the tasks and time tables planned for him, and only deviate from them if Web-Web said so.

    That meant that lunch passed in relative calm and leisure. And it seemed that Sam¡¯s fifteen minutes of fame had passed completely because he didn¡¯t feel even a single pair of eyes judging him, other than his own, of course. Hopefully that was that was indeed what happened rather than him just getting used to the attention. Being so quick to acclimate to fame can¡¯t be a good thing. However, the lunch mostly consisted of Dan asking Sam some more questions about what he talked about with Farris, so Sam wasn¡¯t sure if he was really getting a break.

    Thankfully, before too long, they were back from lunch and seated once again in Dan¡¯s office. Dan then started going over about the things Sam did right and those that he did wrong when gathering before. Sam was happy to discover that the right greatly outnumbered the wrong, but his glee was short-lived once Dan told him that this was to be excepted. There wasn¡¯t much wrong that a person could do while gathering at this stage, before you even got to the fundamental techniques. Still, Dan corrected Sam for his few wrongs, and had him practice gathering some more, until satisfied with Sam¡¯s proficiency for the time being.

    ¡°We¡¯ll come back to this tomorrow,¡± Dan said. ¡°And I think that soon enough we can move on from primitive gathering. But for now, whenever you have free time and are disinclined to use it for study, feel free to spend it gathering, as long as your core is full, of course. It would be a waste to have you practice only half of the process for now.¡±

    ¡°Got it. What about gathering while doing something else? Like working out?¡±

    ¡°Leave it for now. The body is more than capable of supplying all the magic that it needs for nourishment under level 1, so there¡¯s no need to worry about it. You could try gathering while doing some other, more basic mechanical actions, like showering or eating, if you wish. But you probably won¡¯t manage to complete a cycle like that anytime soon. Still, up to you.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°How much time should I be spending cultivating from now on then?¡±

    ¡°That depends. For now, do it whenever you¡¯re free and willing. I¡¯ll finish making you a permanent, or as close as possible to permanent, schedule for the trimester soon, and that will include time dedicated to cultivating. Although it would still be quite a while until I deem you proficient enough to take up a consistent burden of cultivating. So until then, feel free to see that time as free time. Which again, if you want to use it for training purposes, you can use it for either studying or cultivating. But you don¡¯t have to either, up to you.¡±

    ¡°Just remember that I need to make it to level 1 as soon as possible.¡±

    ¡°I remember, don¡¯t worry. My hope is that you¡¯ll reach level 1 around the time when the next school year begins. Especially if you are still planning to start at year two¡­¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s shoot for the moon. Even if it¡¯s a fake piece of shit.¡±

    ¡°As you wish. But don¡¯t forget that it will still be up to my discretion to decide which year to enroll you at. And that it¡¯s completely fine if you do end up needing to start at the beginning.¡±

    ¡°Just give me a plan that should make me ready for year two as long as I give it my all. That¡¯s all I¡¯m asking.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s what you shall get. Anything else about the topic, or gathering, that you wanted to ask?¡± Sam shook his head. ¡°Good. So let¡¯s move on to tracing. We¡¯ll keep patterns on the back burner for now, until you master the basics, so we¡¯ll probably go back to them through magical theory first, then through practical study like we did yesterday. Still, I¡¯ve yet to decide, so I¡¯ll keep you updated. Maybe I¡¯ll give you some homework to study by yourself.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± Sam lied. He wasn¡¯t keen on studying the difficult subject without the aid of someone more knowledgeable than him. And he wasn¡¯t going to ask his friends for help with just a little bit of homework. Hopefully, the internet would provide if he ends up finding himself at deadlock. Ideally, he¡¯ll be able to push through and solve the problem by himself, but you¡¯ve got to be realistic about these things.

    ¡°On to tracing. What I want you to do for today is quite simple. I¡¯ll say a body part and you just need to trace magic to that part. Ready? Let¡¯s start with your hand just like we did before.¡± Sam complied and before too long, magic was gathering at what he felt was the exact center of the palm of his hand. ¡°Don¡¯t try to control the flow of the magic, just do what comes naturally. Now, I want you to trace to your elbow.¡± Sam moved the focus of his thoughts from his palm to his elbow and in the next moment, magic started gathering at the joint from both sides of his arm. The magic that he had traced onto his palm, however, was still lingering, none of it trying to make the journey towards his elbow.

    ¡°I¡¯m doing it, but the magic in my hand doesn¡¯t seem to move.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because you are only drawing from your core, letting the magic¡¯s natural inclination and your uncontrolled instincts guide the tracing process. But don¡¯t worry about that. For now, I just want you to focus on initiating tracing. That¡¯s the proper term for drawing like you¡¯re doing. Now trace to your left eye. Strictly speaking, tracing is the process of moving magic through a medium, and since the core isn¡¯t one, what you¡¯re doing right now doesn¡¯t count as tracing. Your right eye. But no one but pedants mark a difference between the actions. And soon enough, you¡¯ll be ¡®truly¡¯ tracing with no difficulty.¡±

    Soon enough only came at the last part of their lesson of the day. Until that point, Dan had Sam trace to pretty much every part of the human body that could be easily named by the average person. Making sure to refill Sam¡¯s core whenever it ran out, which was plenty. They finished the lesson shortly after Dan showed him how to ¡®really¡¯ trace. Which left only a few minutes for Sam to practice it. He had finally managed to move all the magic gathered at one point to another when Dan called an end for the day, but not before refilling his core one last time. Once again, making an appointment for tomorrow after breakfast, Dan saw him all the way out of the building.

    All in all, Sam felt much better after today¡¯s lesson than yesterday¡¯s, which probably meant that something horrible was going to happen at tomorrow¡¯s lesson. There had to be a balance in all things, after all. He made his way to the mess hall and once inside, picked up his food in record time, and went to join the company of his newly minted friends. ¡°So how was everyone¡¯s day?¡± he asked while sitting down.

    ¡°It was a bit of a letdown after spending the first part of it in the company of a Ruler,¡± Felix answered.

    ¡°And I¡¯m guessing it¡¯s the exact opposite for Yvessa, who had a grand old time once released from suffering Farris¡¯s presence.¡±

    ¡°It was pretty great. I¡¯m not going to lie,¡± Yvessa said truthfully. ¡°So, did he end up telling you who is going to be teaching you?¡±

    ¡°No, I forgot to ask.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll make sure Erianna puts pressure on him to tell her and once she tells me, I¡¯ll tell you. That way, we can make sure that he made the right choice.¡±

    ¡°Or,¡± said Felix, ¡°you can put your trust in the ability of one of the strongest people in the Web to choose the right teacher for Sam.¡±

    ¡°I would, only I know Farris better than that. And once he gets an idea into his head, he will rarely let it go.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound so bad,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Just means that he will take mentoring Sam seriously.¡±

    ¡°Sure. But what about if he thinks that some unqualified weirdo would make for a really funny choice to be Sam¡¯s teacher and that he wants to see it happen?¡±

    ¡°He wouldn¡¯t do that¡­ Right?¡±

    ¡°Probably not. But it pays to be cautious.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Sam said. ¡°How funny are we talking about? Cause I am willing to make some concessions on the quality of my education if it¡¯s for a greater purpose, like comedy.¡±

    ¡°No you¡¯re not,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°It turns out that I¡¯m not.¡±

    ¡°So what did you end up studying with Dan? Just gathering?¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you guys getting tired of just listening me to talk all the time? Shouldn¡¯t we also go over what the other people at the table did during the day?¡±

    ¡°That isn¡¯t necessary.¡±

    ¡°She will punish us if we don¡¯t show interest in you,¡± Felix whispered. ¡°She hits us when you¡¯re not looking, you know?¡±

    ¡°I also can hit you when he is looking. How about that?¡±

    ¡°So how was your day, Sam?¡±

    Sam was forced to regale them with the riveting tale of his lessons with Dan. Thankfully, he managed to pivot the topic rather quickly, and the conversation turned to small talk between the four of them. At one point, Felix tried to bring up something that he and Yvessa studied today, but was stopped after getting glares from Sarah following a confused expression from Sam.

    The rest of the evening passed with only the slightest hint of lung damage from the workout that Sarah forced Sam to endure. And he didn¡¯t even have music to match up with his bpm with BPM. Still, exercise felt good, or as close as good as was possible for Sam. And it certainly helped that he had three people cheering him on. Well, two people. Yvessa didn¡¯t cheer as much as goad him by saying that he could do better. After the workout, the four of them parted, each going to their own dorm. Sarah bid Sam goodbye at the entrance to him, making sure to give him yet another hug and getting reminding him yet again about meeting tomorrow morning. Sam spent the rest of the night reading about the elven history he was supposed to go over during the morning. And found sleep easy to come by when he finally laid his head to rest.

 Chapter 52

    His second moment of waking with magic proved to be much gentler than his first. He still awoke to the shock of feeling the strange presence inside of him, but it was much less impactful and, even in his drowsy state, he was quicker to recognize it for what it was. Also, the fact that there weren¡¯t any headache inducing threads baying at his consciousness probably had a lot to do with him having a better first moment of the day.

    He groaned while getting up, remembering that he had yet another workout ahead of him. And the last one not even twelve hours ago. After rushing to finish his morning obligations, he found himself with a couple of minutes to spare after meditating, so he turned his mind towards practicing gathering. Which, outwardly, looked the same as meditating, but inwardly lacked pretty much all that made meditation what it was. He supposed that at some point, he could become so used to the process that it will feel like meditating. Or maybe not. Who knows just how complex the advanced (or hell, just basic) gathering techniques were?

    A few minutes later, he was dressed and ready to partake in the destruction of his body yet again. Making sure to take his bag and headphones with him today, he met Sarah downstairs, and they began making their way towards the same gym from two days ago. ¡°How are you feeling?¡± Sarah asked.

    Sam stifled a yawn. ¡°Pretty good, all things considered. Had a go at gathering for a bit. Didn¡¯t go as easy as I hoped it would. Like it went the last time yesterday.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s to be expected. You¡¯re trying your hand at something completely new. It¡¯s going to take some time before you get comfortable doing it first thing in the morning.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, but surprisingly, I wasn¡¯t all that worried while doing that. Guess that even constant anxiety must take a break.¡±

    ¡°You know that reminding yourself over and over how you have anxiety is only helping your anxiety stay a constant presence in you. Don¡¯t miss the opportunity to reinvent yourself, you¡¯ve got a new body, a new brain¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wow. Thanks for reminding me of that. It¡¯s not like I already had a dozen imaginary debates about the Ship of Theseus in the last couple of days.

    ¡°Point is, you don¡¯t need to relegate yourself to feeling the same way that you used to. You have to hope that things are going to be better.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to convince me of that. I¡¯m a constant optimist I am. What? Seriously! Ask any one of my therapists. I always told them how I believed that I was going to feel better and be better eventually. And hey, it might just be the mind-altering magic, but I do feel better.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that. Just you watch. In a couple of months, even after your mind gets used to magic, you¡¯re going to find yourself feeling just as good as you feel now.¡±

    ¡°Hopefully.¡± Sam sighed. He was obviously far from comfortable speaking about the possible change in his neurochemical state at this point in his new life. He still had to spend some more time with his new body and brain, and he still wasn¡¯t sure what was the new him and what was just the temporary effects of getting used to magic. Just as long as I remain some version of myself at the end of the journey.

    He and Sarah made it to the gym, this time before Felix and Yvessa, but it was barely a minute later that they were joined by the two. ¡°I meant to ask,¡± Sam said, ¡°but where exactly are the two of you sleeping? Did you guys make sure that this gym and the usual mess hall are really the most efficient for us to meet at? Distance and time wise?¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± Felix said. ¡°I made sure of it.¡± He then took out his phone and show Sam his and Yvessa¡¯s dorm buildings, and then proceeded to eliminate any other possible meeting location besides their usual.

    ¡°Nicely done.¡± Sam was impressed.

    Yvessa rolled her eyes. ¡°Yes, what we would we do without the extra five minutes that we gain by meeting at the optimal spot?¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Felix said. ¡°That¡¯s an extra five minutes every day. It adds up.¡±

    ¡°And how do you use your extra five minutes, then?¡±

    ¡°That changes from day to day. Whatever I happen to need to do that particular day.¡±

    ¡°Oh? So you don¡¯t use it to just browse the internet for memes?¡±

    ¡°Of course not!¡± He leaned close to Sam. ¡°I also use it for porn.¡±

    ¡°Right on brother.¡± Sam made a fist.

    ¡°But think about it, Yvessa. If I didn¡¯t have those five extra minutes, then I would have had to take them from some place else. Potentially cutting into my training time.¡±

    ¡°Or you could just try and live without them,¡± she said. ¡°Hey, that¡¯s a novel idea.¡±

    ¡°Without porn? I might be an amazing human being, but I¡¯m still a human being, you know? Besides, aren¡¯t you the one that skipped on cardio two days ago to go and talk with your family and friends? That¡¯s way more than two minutes.¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously equating talking with the people I love to you watching porn?¡±

    ¡°Now hold on a minute,¡± Sam said. ¡°He could be watching porn of the people he loves.¡±

    ¡°Ew¡­¡±

    Sarah groaned. ¡°C¡¯mon Sam.¡±

    ¡°What? It¡¯s not like I said, your loved ones. They¡¯re Felix¡¯s. Why do you care whether you see his siblings naked?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m the oldest of four, mate.¡± Felix said. ¡°And the oldest beside me is still four years younger than me.¡±

    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m not the one looking at porn right after I wake up.¡±

    ¡°Neither am I. I save those five minutes for a use after a shower, shave them off from my before bed cultivation session because I spent five more minutes cultivating in the morning.¡±

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ At the end of the day it¡¯s five extra minutes that I can use for whatever I need. Be it for fun or training. The four of us are better off thanks to me figuring out exactly where the best spot for us to meet is.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°I¡¯m with Felix. Minimizing wastage of time is, as I¡¯m sure you remember, one of the few moral edicts that I¡¯m a willing to wholeheartedly define as objectively true.¡±

    ¡°Why thank you, Sam. It¡¯s nice to finally be appreciated.¡±

    They properly started their workout after that point, which passed mostly uneventfully. Sarah sticking close to Sam, once again spending the time that she should have been dedicating to her own improvement on him. He eventually managed to extricate himself from her, and get her to go back to focusing on her own barely half done training by noting that he could do the last few sets required next to Felix and Yvessa as they were more than qualified to watch and correct his form.

    ¡°She¡¯s riding you hard, huh?¡± Felix smiled once Sam rejoined them.

    ¡°Hardly,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°She¡¯s still taking it easy on him.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon Yvessa, I really am giving it my best, you know?¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Of course you are. I¡¯m not arguing against that. Rather that you could still be doing your best, and completing the assigned workout, even were it harder. But as long as Sarah isn¡¯t pushing you as far as you can go, you¡¯ll never know your limits.¡±

    ¡°Am I really not trying hard enough?¡± Sam¡¯s face flushed, which was pretty impressive considering he was already plenty warm from the exertion.

    ¡°Nah, don¡¯t listen to her, mate. You¡¯re doing fine. Someone seems to be having trouble differentiating between the two Thread-Weavers she knows. You do remember that until a week ago, Sam was in the hospital with no legs, right? If he wanted to go to the beach every day for a week and just drink cocktails, I¡¯d still say, ¡®Hey, nice effort.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Ridiculous. He is slated to be a future Ruler at the very least, and that was before Farris decided to take him under his wings. If Sam starts taking it easy, then it¡¯s just going to instill bad habits in him that will hurt him in the long run.¡±

    ¡°So you do admit that he isn¡¯t currently taking it easy, then?¡±

    ¡°I already said that he wasn¡¯t. He isn¡¯t wasting his time on the beach drinking cocktails. But he can still push himself a bit more. I believe in him.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± Sam said.

    She waved him off. ¡°You are just a total worrywart. Believe me, you¡¯ll be just fine.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m feeling comfortable with the amount of people that say they believe in me lately, much less how much they believe in me. You guys don¡¯t know me.¡±

    ¡°If it makes you feel any better,¡± Felix said. ¡°I think that you are just one bad hair day away from having a complete meltdown.¡±

    ¡°Now I know you¡¯re joking because I only have bad hair days.¡±

    ¡°Nah, it¡¯s not so bad. Sure, it could do with a little bit of upkeep, but that¡¯s true for most guys.¡±

    ¡°So to sum things up, I have you guys¡¯s confirmation that I¡¯m putting in enough effort, right?¡±

    ¡°You have my approval, at least. I don¡¯t think that Yvessa here will let anything besides gaining one level every week meet hers.¡±

    ¡°Enough! I said that he¡¯s doing fine, didn¡¯t I? But that doesn¡¯t mean that he still can¡¯t put in more effort. The more effort he puts in now, the easier it¡¯ll be on him in the long run. It¡¯s all about creating a healthy and nurturing habit.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that comparing yourself to Erianna Ninae is a particularly healthy and nurturing habit.¡± Yvessa huffed in response. ¡°What you need to do, Sam, is listen to your old pal Felix here. As long as there isn¡¯t a chance that you¡¯ll become better than me at something, I¡¯m sure to lead you straight.¡±

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    ¡°Thank you Felix.¡± Sam said. ¡°And by the way, can I just say how nice it is to be referenced as an old chum when we¡¯ve just met for the first time forty-eight hours ago?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the power of the military! It makes you find lifelong friends by virtue of forcing you into a foreign, competitive, and even somewhat hostile environment.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t forget about having to fight back to back with the people you meet,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Some of the people we meet. Let¡¯s not forget the three of us are bona-fide talents that are sure to make it to Ruler.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯ve pivoted back to being sure that we¡¯ll making to Ruler?¡±

    ¡°Yep. Pretty sure.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m holding my fingers for you guys,¡± Sam said. ¡°It would suck if after all the effort I put into cultivating our relationship it¡¯ll all go to waste and I¡¯m gonna have to learn some other people¡¯s names once I become a Ruler.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to have to do that anyway,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Nuh uh. You can¡¯t have that many active characters in a story, silly. The audience is going to lose track of all of them.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re back on the life is a story train now that Sarah is out of earshot?¡± Felix laughed.

    ¡°Only for comedic effects. Like, for example, how do I know that Felix is sure to make it to Ruler, you ask? Cause he¡¯s gay, and he¡¯s the only gay guy that I¡¯ve met, meaning that he can¡¯t die unless a cooler, better gay character is introduced.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not the only gay guy you¡¯ve met. That medic Javi, that healed you? He¡¯s also gay.¡±

    ¡°How do you know that?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Felix smiled crookedly. ¡°You know how.¡±

    ¡°Ew. How old is he?¡±

    ¡°Please Yvessa!¡± Sam cried. ¡°It¡¯s the 6th century. You can¡¯t say that about gay sex anymore. No matter how disgusting it may truly be.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I criticizing.¡±

    ¡°Well, it should¡¯ve been,¡± Felix said. ¡°It was pretty disgusting, if you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°A neutered cat would know what you mean. That¡¯s not what my point was. Isn¡¯t he thirty or something?¡±

    ¡°What? No. He only graduated a year and a half ago. After his year of Military Training, he was posted back to New Terra because he wanted to do research.¡±

    ¡°Look who know¡¯s all about Javi the Medic all of a sudden.¡± Sam would¡¯ve whistled if he could. ¡°And where was all that knowledge before? You trying to hide your boyfriend from us? Or from Maurice maybe?¡±

    ¡°Heh, no way. He isn¡¯t my boyfriend. I don¡¯t do boyfriends.¡± The fact that Yvessa used both her hand and mouth to mimic Felix must have meant that she heard that line plenty of times before. ¡°We only met once, had some beers, went back to his place, you know the deal. Him graduating and being posted back here are literally the only two things that I know about him.¡±

    ¡°Was the sex at least disgusting? Or did you also lie about that?¡±

    ¡°It was gay sex. Of course it was disgusting.¡±

    ¡°Very nice.¡± Sam gave him a thumbs up. ¡°But I think it would have been funnier if you took out the ¡®gay¡¯ part. Just, ¡®sex is disgusting.¡¯¡±

    ¡°You know, I thought about that. But I figured that with how much of a disgusting bigot you are, you would better appreciate my joke if it also offended a minority group.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s mighty nice of you, thank you very much. Here¡¯s hoping that in an alternative universe where non-asexuals are a marginalized group, the version of you is saying the funnier line.¡±

    ¡°Amen.¡±

    ¡°You two are just like peas in a pod, aren¡¯t you?¡± Yvessa rolled her eyes.

    ¡°A gay pod.¡±

    ¡°There it is,¡± Sam said. ¡°In other news¡­ Do you guys think that I tend to sidetrack the conversation sometimes?¡±

    ¡°Not at all. And besides, is it really sidetracking if you bring the dialogue to a much better place?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. How stupid of me to worry.¡±

    ¡°Do you two want me to leave you alone so you could carry this stupid conversation by yourselves?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Yvessa please. Two men, in a gym, speaking only to each other? That¡¯s gay.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s right.¡± Felix nodded. ¡°Unless they¡¯re talking about women, of course. Then that¡¯s just guy talk. It¡¯s like that test for checking if a book is sexist, only for gayness. What¡¯s the real thing called?¡±

    ¡°The Bechdel test.¡±

    ¡°Right, it¡¯s like the Bechdel test. If two guys are talking with each other in a book and it¡¯s not about woman, then they¡¯re gay.¡±

    ¡°Which is why I¡¯ve ended all my one-on-one conversations with guys since coming here by asking them what do they think about Thatcher. Because if there¡¯s one thing everyone knows, is that gay guys can¡¯t talk about Thatcher. And speaking of powerful women who, perhaps, could¡¯ve done more to combat institutionalized sexism.¡± Sam turned to Yvessa. ¡°I¡¯ll also need you to speak with Sarah alone at one point. And make sure not to talk about me or any other man. We need to pass Bechdel in order to sell the book to the progressive crowd.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t having a gay character enough?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°That¡¯s a good question. Yvessa, thoughts?¡±

    ¡°Right now, I¡¯m thinking that I¡¯ll tell Sarah that you¡¯ve been really stretching your breaks between sets.¡±

    ¡°That won¡¯t work,¡± said Felix, as Sam was prevented from speaking due to going back to the weights. ¡°You¡¯ll fail the test. You can¡¯t speak about men.¡± Sam grunted in agreement.

    ¡°What if it¡¯s a book about lesbians but it¡¯s written by a man in order to fulfill his twisted sexual fantasies? Does that still pass your test?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not my test. It¡¯s Bechdel¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m assuming. Who I¡¯m also assuming was a woman, right Sam?¡± A grunt for yes. ¡°And¡­ I¡¯ll be honest, that a good question. I¡¯m going to have to let Bechdel take that one.¡±

    Yvessa sighed. ¡°One more Sam.¡± He relented with yet another grunt. He had to pay for her suffering through their jokes somehow.

    ¡°Guys¡­¡± he said, sitting up. ¡°The Bechdel test¡­ It isn¡¯t magic. It¡¯s not as though if you pass it, then your book isn¡¯t sexist and if you don¡¯t, then it is. It¡¯s just a tongue-in-cheek test designed to point out how so many stories don¡¯t even pass this basic milestone of portraying female agency. That being said, I¡¯m all for calling the shitty yaoi fanfics written by horny sixteen-year-old girls, sexist.¡±

    ¡°And just like that, I went from thinking that you made sense back to wondering just what the hell are you talking about.¡±

    ¡°It makes sense if you¡¯re inside here.¡± Sam pointed to his temple. ¡°At least that¡¯s what I try and tell myself¡­ What were we talking about?¡±

    ¡°You not putting enough effort in. And I think the fact that you¡¯ve spent most of the last couple of minutes just talking goes to prove that I was right.¡±

    ¡°Or maybe, it goes to show that women and the gays are a corrupting influence on good, honest young men.¡±

    ¡°Both could be true,¡± Felix said. But the fact that Sam finished the rest of his workout with relatively little conversation and no breaks longer than necessary proved that it wasn¡¯t. The women and the gays were off the hook. For now. Once he was done stretching, all per Sarah¡¯s instructions, and under Felix¡¯s and Yvessa¡¯s watchful eyes, he excused himself to go refill his bottle.

    Which was when that happened.

    A person, a guy that Sam had never met, maybe had never even seen before in his life, approached him with a bright smile and a hand put forth. ¡°You¡¯re Sam, right? Sam Anders? The new Taken?¡± Sam just mutely nodded his head. ¡°I knew I recognized you, besides why else would you be working out with the Twins, right?¡± Sam narrowed his eyes. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean anything bad by it, just that it makes sense that they want talents like you guys to be working together. Anyway, me: I¡¯m Carl, Carl Pines, third year. Didn¡¯t mean to put you on the spot or anything, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what that you went through, are going through I should say, and how awesome it is that you still manage to come here and exercise despite of that. So just that. And that I¡¯m sure you¡¯re going to do great in the future. We¡¯re all looking forward to your future growth.¡± Sam was forced to comply with the man¡¯s request for a handshake by the power of his earnest and radiating smile. Carl Pines seemed satisfied by that, and bid Sam goodbye.

    Suffice to say, Sam was shaken when he came back to the Twi¡ªto Yvessa and Felix.

    ¡°You look like you just seen a ghost,¡± Felix commented.

    ¡°Even worse¡­ Ghosts aren¡¯t real, right?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Thank god. I don¡¯t want to see a ghost, you know? It might just be the sight that I fear most.¡±

    ¡°Really? Ghosts out of every¡ª¡±

    ¡°Rather have a piece of toast if one¡¯s available. Then watch the evening news if they¡¯re on.¡±

    ¡°OK, I¡¯m lost.¡±

    ¡°What else is new?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter.¡± Sam shook his head and waved his hands in front of it in order to clean the errant thoughts from his ping-pong brain. ¡°Now isn¡¯t the time for me to explain my stupid references. A complete stranger just talked to me! The guy just came out of nowhere!¡±

    ¡°Oh no.¡± Felix¡¯s voice was bereft of any worry. ¡°Was he hot?¡±

    ¡°Now isn¡¯t the time for you to be your regular horny self, Felix,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Sam just went through a harrowing experience.¡±

    ¡°Ha ha, make all the jokes that you want,¡± Sam said. ¡°But that guy just ambushed me, right as I was filling my water bottle. Asking me if I was who I am. And telling me stuff about how he¡¯s rooting for me or some shit like that. I mean, who does that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Nice people maybe,¡± Felix ventured. ¡°People that aren¡¯t freaked out by talking to strangers? People that aren¡¯t Sam?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not about that. Well, it¡¯s mostly about that. But it¡¯s also about having some dude that I¡¯ve never met before in my life walking up to me knowing who I am. That never happened to me if we don¡¯t count the women my mother was friends with and who I didn¡¯t see since I was three years old. And they only ¡®recognized¡¯ me because I was with my mom.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re famous. Big deal. We already told you that you are. You just got to get used to people walking up to you out of nowhere. At least this guy was nice. The next guy could be a total asshole. Happened to both of us plenty of times in our life.¡±

    ¡°Well, he did call you guys the ¡®Twins.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately¡±¡ªYvessa¡¯s mouth curved downwards¡ª¡°that¡¯s not a good enough indicator for whether someone is an asshole.¡±

    ¡°Maaan¡­¡± Sam sighed while taking a sit next to her. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be famous.¡±

    She gently patted him on the shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s just one of the things that you¡¯re going to have to get used to.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Felix asked. ¡°You don¡¯t want to be famous? I can¡¯t wait to be famous.¡±

    ¡°Some people can¡¯t see beyond the allures of fame into the pitfalls that lay beyond,¡± she said.

    ¡°You grew up famous, and knowing famous people. Of course you¡¯re gonna be weary of it. But for us normal people, fame is a goal to aspire for.¡±

    ¡°What the hell do you mean ¡®didn¡¯t grow up famous?¡¯ Excuse me, but who were all those news articles proclaiming the Great Terran Hope when he was sixteen?¡±

    ¡°Sixteen is already grown up.¡±

    ¡°No it isn¡¯t,¡± Sam said. ¡°You¡¯re still a dumb kid until you reach eighteen, then you become a dumb adult until you reach twenty-one. Only then can we begin to separate the wheat from the dumbasses. Plus, isn¡¯t calling someone the Great Terran Hope pretty racist?¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, a little bit.¡± Yvessa said. ¡°But it¡¯s more of in the context that we have this hope of fielding our own Chosen and being equal to all the other races.¡±

    ¡°Besides the dwarves, you mean,¡± Sam said. ¡°Those guys always seem to get the short straw.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon dude.¡± Felix shook his head. ¡°We¡¯ve already got tired of making those sorts of jokes back in elementary school. Plus, you just called something out for being racist.¡±

    ¡°So what? That just makes a great setup for the good old anti-racist, racist joke. And in reality, it¡¯s actually you who are being a bigot. You know why? Because I didn¡¯t claim that the dwarves¡¯ short stature holds any moral, aesthetical, or any other word suffixed with ¡®al¡¯ value. I was just making a joke based on the fact that dwarves are, on average, shorter than the other races. If a dwarf made a joke about me saying I was a tall piece of grass, it wouldn¡¯t be racist now, would it? That¡¯s right, you, Felix, are a heightist.¡±

    ¡°For shame, Felix,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°For shame. You probably never even met a dwarf in real life.¡±

    ¡°Of course I haven¡¯t. Have you?¡±

    ¡°I did, in fact. There was the dwarven ambassador to the court, there was the dwarven agency for the affairs of the east, there was even a dwarven inquisitor that came to visit one time. Asked my mom about the Order of Sorrow¡¯s chances of getting a following among the Terra populace.¡±

    ¡°The Order of what?¡± Sam asked. ¡°And what the hell, the dwarves have inquisitors?¡±

    ¡°Not the dwarves. Most of them aren¡¯t part of the order. That¡¯s what made meeting a dwarven inquisitor so novel.¡±

    ¡°OK, but why are explaining stuff to me like I¡¯m not a complete ignoramus that has no idea what you¡¯re talking about? Do you know what this order is?¡± he asked Felix.

    ¡°Sam, please¡­ I¡¯m not completely clueless. The Empire has an official religion whose official name I forgot, but it¡¯s led by the Order of Sorrows, and the inquisitors are the order¡¯s armed forces.¡±

    ¡°Is he right?¡±

    ¡°Of course I am!¡±

    ¡°Pretty much,¡± confirmed Yvessa. ¡°You¡¯ll also learn this stuff for yourself next year, so I wouldn¡¯t worry about not knowing it. It¡¯s not like you¡¯re going to meet an inquisitor any time soon. Even Imperials are not that common to find in the republic.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to hold you to that.¡± Sam nodded and reclined back, waiting for the other two to finish their workout. ¡°Anyway, back to me not wanting to be famous. Someone got us sidetracked. I actually agree with both of you. There is a part of me that, like Felix, wants fame and fortune and everything that goes along with it. But the other part of me knows that it¡¯s not going to be a bed of roses, or a pleasure cruise, that there¡¯s bad along with the good.

    ¡°But what really grinds my gear is that I don¡¯t feel like I¡¯ve done anything to deserve fame, you know? I mean, it would have been a whole other story if I made it to a Ruler really fast and the guy came to me to ask for an autograph and say how I¡¯m a great inspiration to him or something. But he pretty much just came to applaud me for existing. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m here because of something I did.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Felix said, ¡°that¡¯s one way to look at it. Another way is that you could have also been at the beach right now, sipping margaritas. Instead, you¡¯re here sweating it out. That¡¯s something to be proud of.¡±

    ¡°You keep speaking as though I really want to go to the beach. Do I look to you guys as someone who likes going to the beach?¡±

    ¡°Now what¡¯s wrong with the beach? The sun, the sea, the hot guys, the hot girls, the hot sand. Is it the sand that¡¯s the problem? You don¡¯t like sand?¡±

    ¡°Nope. I¡¯m not going to go along with such a simple setup. Try again next time.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s more than fair.¡±

 Chapter 53

    Not wanting to keep disturbing Felix and Yvessa, especially since they moved to an exercise that didn¡¯t allow them to speak (subjecting someone to Sam¡¯s words without that person¡¯s ability to tell him to stop talking was tantamount to a war crime), Sam opted to go grab a shower and clean up while waiting for the other three to finish. When he came out, Felix and Yvessa were indeed on their last set and, if he wasn¡¯t wrong, then Sarah was also nearing the end of her workout.

    ¡°What was the guy¡¯s name, anyway?¡± Felix asked him once he rejoined them.

    ¡°The dude from the water fountain? Carl Pines, I think. But I¡¯m not sure; the trauma¡¯s still so fresh.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Carl Pines? I know him. He¡¯s that guy that reached level 4 not too long ago. Remember Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, the Ruler¡¯s son. Good pathways must run in the family.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t making level 4 so early mean that he¡¯s pretty much at your guys¡¯ level? Potential wise?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Sure, in theory,¡± Felix said smugly. ¡°But in practice, the reason people like the four of us are so highly regarded is because we can reach high levels without dedicating so much of our time to cultivating and sculpting. Now I¡¯m not saying that this Carl guy isn¡¯t also pretty fucking good, but I¡¯ve seen him fighting and I caught a sneak peek at some of Dan¡¯s evaluation of the third years. He¡¯s cut some definite corners in order to make level 4 so early. Of course, he might make all of them up in the long run. Maybe we¡¯ll fight alongside him as a fellow Ruler in a few years.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great. Another dude whose name I need to remember. Thanks a lot Felix.¡±

    ¡°My pleasure.¡±

    ¡°He must have made a real poor impression on you while fighting if you¡¯re so quick to praise him,¡± Yvessa said, trying to hide her smirk with her stretching.

    ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about. I always try to give people a fair and unbiased review.¡±

    ¡°Sure you are.¡± She rolled her eyes at Sam, which was pretty impressive considering where her head currently was.

    ¡°Anyway, the two of us and Sarah can most definitely kick Carl¡¯s ass if that¡¯s what you want, Sam. Even if he¡¯s stronger than I give him credit for.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not doing that,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°And I would gain no satisfaction from someone else dealing him grave bodily harm,¡± Sam said. ¡°I¡¯ll have to wait until I¡¯m strong enough to sucker punch him myself.¡±

    ¡°Up to you.¡± Felix stood up to finish his stretching. ¡°I¡¯m gonna go grab a shower.¡± A minute later, Yvessa also finished and made her way to the showers, so Sam signaled Sarah that he was waiting for them outside and sat down to continue his work with the playlist. Thankfully, he finally had headphones with him, so he was able to make much more fine tuned decisions than before. Not too long after, he was once again joined by Felix and Yvessa.

    ¡°So what do you have for today?¡± Yvessa asked him.

    ¡°Just some more Dan lessons, I guess. We¡¯ll probably go over tracing and gathering, but I don¡¯t know more than that. How about you guys?¡±

    ¡°Us guys, just so happen to not have the same lesson plans for today, so I¡¯d appreciate it if you didn¡¯t lump us together.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Felix chuckled. ¡°Only for the lesson after lunch. We both got patterns next and afterwards I¡¯m off to spear training while she takes something about artifacts. Then we meet again for Epirak study.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s still a difference of a third. And you¡¯d do well to take some of the artifacts courses as well. There¡¯s a lot you could learn.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, I will next year. Even if I don¡¯t see the reason why. After all, I¡¯m only going to use the storage one and the spear, and it¡¯s not like I¡¯m planning on making any and getting into artifice.¡±

    ¡°Knowledge is often its own reward.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll take being able to kill Epiraks better, as my reward. Thank you very much.¡±

    ¡°Wait, you¡¯re also a spear fighter?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Yeah mate, we already went over this.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure we didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Pretty sure we did.¡±

    ¡°No you didn¡¯t,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Then you must have not heard it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible because I¡¯ve literally never been with you alone,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°You make it sound like I¡¯m too dangerous to be left alone with you.¡±

    ¡°Well obviously you are. Insert gay joke here.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t just say ¡®insert gay joke here!¡¯ You gotta make the gay joke as well.¡±

    ¡°Bully for you, then. Because I¡¯m too tired after working out to showcase my usual razor sharp wit. And speaking of things being sharp: You most definitely did not mention to me that you¡¯re also training with a spear. I know that Yvessa¡¯s using a sword, because of Farris, weirdly. I know that Sarah is training with way too many forms. I know that Farris is a spearfighter, but I don¡¯t remember how. But I didn¡¯t know you. Or Dan and Maurice. What is Dan fighting with, by the way?¡±

    ¡°Unarmed,¡± said Sarah, who was just joining them, her hair still wet.

    ¡°Oh, just like you then. Only he probably didn¡¯t spread himself thin training with three other weapons when he was just twenty-years old.¡±

    ¡°I feel like you¡¯re trying to tell me something. But I can¡¯t quite put my finger on what.¡± She turned to the other two. ¡°Did he finish his workout?¡±

    ¡°Eventually,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°What are you asking them for?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I¡¯m a grown man, I¡¯ll have you know. Felix, back me up here.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s pretty damn rude that you knew everyone else¡¯s weapon of choice, but not mine, mate. Even if I didn¡¯t tell you, you could have at least asked. And here I was planning to train with you when I had the time.¡±

    ¡°Then Sarah is who you should be really blaming here. She¡¯s the one who just introduced me to you guys with no prior notice. She didn¡¯t give me the cliff notes on you two, not to speak of a character dossier like you¡¯re supposed to.¡±

    ¡°That isn¡¯t a real thing,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Well it should be. Look how hurt Felix is, all because you didn¡¯t te¡ªHold on, I¡¯m getting a call.¡± Wanting to rid his ears of the noise from the still default ringtone, Sam quickly stepped aside in order to answer. No anxiety at all from answering an unknown caller, he would later remark to himself. The call was short and courteous. He was informed by the campus security that someone left a package for him at the gates. ¡°So my PC is here. Who¡¯s coming to help me carry it to my room?¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t you just carry it yourself?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Nice one, Yvessa. I¡¯m still a shrimp compared to you guys. And even in my most physically fit stage back when, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to carry the heavy-ass PC we had them build for me. Not to speak of the monitor and all the other external crap; I don¡¯t particularly like bass, but I must have the option for a lot of it.¡±

    ¡°What do you need a whole PC for, even? You already have a laptop.¡±

    ¡°Games,¡± he answered.

    ¡°Porn,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°And porn.¡±

    ¡°But don¡¯t forget games.¡±

    ¡°Plus,¡± Sarah said, ¡°we¡¯ll be able to watch the movie tonight on a bigger screen. Maybe we should have also bought you a TV, then?¡± Sam shook his head.

    ¡°What movie?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Oh, me and Sam are celebrating his one week anniversary since coming here. We¡¯ll grab dinner and watch a movie.¡±

    ¡°That¡­¡± said Felix, ¡°sounds stupid. What the hell is a one week anniversary? It hasn¡¯t even been a whole week yet, that¡¯s only tomorrow. Plus, how come we¡¯re not invited? Is this a date?¡±

    ¡°Felix¡­¡± Yvessa facepalmed.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a date! Not that I mean anything bad by it.¡± Sarah quickly turned toward Sam with eyes like a dear that really didn¡¯t want to make the headlights feel bad.

    Sam rolled his eyes. ¡°Nah, it¡¯s not a date. We¡¯re pretty much just having a meeting in order to try and convince the other person to our point of view.¡±

    ¡°Sound like a date to me.¡± Felix smirked. ¡°Nice setup.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, that was on purpose. But it was also the truth. We¡¯re meeting to have a very serious but non-romantic, barely even platonic, discussion. Let¡¯s just remind everyone that I have never actually been on a real date and I¡¯m sure as fuck not going to make my first one ever, a dinner and a movie. And on that note, I would also like to mention to you all that I am currently, and for the foreseeable future, not emotionally available for a romantic partner. So no one develop any crushes on me.¡±

    ¡°What about only a sexual partner?¡± Felix mouthed a kiss.

    ¡°Absolutely not. That¡¯s even worse.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    ¡°OK.¡± Sarah laughed, much to Sam¡¯s comfort. ¡°How about you two continue this discussion while going to pick up Sam¡¯s PC? While me and Yvessa will go grab the four of us breakfast and then we¡¯ll eat in Sam¡¯s room?¡±

    ¡°Sarah, did you not hear the part about how flimsy and weak I am? And that¡¯s before having worked out. There¡¯s no way that just me and Felix are going to be able to carry everything to my room.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you will, I¡¯m sure of it. Let¡¯s go Yvessa.¡± She gave them a thumbs up before making her exit with Yvessa in tow.

    ¡°Wow, she didn¡¯t even wait to hear out my objection on the grounds that my room is going to get dirty.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to eat dinner there anyway, so what¡¯s the matter?¡± Felix asked. ¡°Or are you saying that me or Yvessa are going to make a mess?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re probably right.¡± Sam shrugged and began walking to the campus gate. ¡°Also, we already ate at my place a couple of days ago, and I didn¡¯t need to clean up after. Which is pretty lucky, cause I don¡¯t even have a broom or anything.¡±

    ¡°There are two supply closets on every dorm floor. I¡¯ll show you where.¡±

    ¡°Would that be before or after you¡¯re going to touch me inappropriately?¡±

    ¡°Before, definitely before. I want to leave you with some good memories of your first time being alone with me. So we¡¯ll go pick up your PC, see where the supply closet is, and then I¡¯ll do unmentionable things to your body and mind.¡±

    ¡°Like show me what changed in porn in the last hundred years?¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ that¡¯ll be interesting. With your, I¡¯m sure, vast amount of ancient knowledge on the subject, we could do some sort of cultural study on the development of porn. How well versed are you in gay porn?¡±

    ¡°A complete amateur. But I¡¯m willing to learn. Is the plot any better?¡±

    ¡°Plot?¡± Felix¡¯s face contorted in puzzlement. ¡°Hmm¡­ Do you think that it says something about us that we¡¯ve had the topics of either video games or porn to choose to talk about and we chose porn?¡±

    ¡°To be fair, I chose porn. You just went along with it. Why, are video games any different than they were?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. I never played anything from before the Integration. You should ask Yvessa. She played a bunch, I think.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa? The girl that asked me what I need a PC for if I already have a laptop?¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°Don¡¯t listen to her, she¡¯s just projecting. She might not have a PC, but she has two laptops, one of which never leaves her room. And I know for a fact that she played a bunch of retro games, even if she doesn¡¯t like to admit it.¡±

    ¡°What about her porn habits?¡±

    ¡°I was hoping you were going to ask that. Alas, I don¡¯t know. Probably normal. Once a blue moon. That¡¯s how often girls masturbate, right?¡±

    ¡°Girls masturbate? That¡¯s news to me.¡±

    ¡°Did you really not know that? Or is it like you not knowing that I use a spear?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re still on that?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re damn right we are.¡±

    Sam held his hands up. ¡°I don¡¯t see how I¡¯m in the wrong here. The onus of knowing that about you is not on me. You want me to know stuff, you need to share them. Think about it. If I stopped and asked everyone for all the things that I don¡¯t know, I¡¯ll still be stuck in my first conversation with Sarah somehow.¡±

    ¡°Excuses, excuses. You asked what Dan¡¯s fighting with, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, because it was appropriate to the flow of the conversation. And I realized that was something that I didn¡¯t know and wanted to know that. That¡¯s the biggest barrier to obtaining new knowledge, I¡¯ll have you know. Most stuff we are ignorant regarding, we aren¡¯t even aware that we don¡¯t know them. Plus, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, you¡¯re the least interesting person out of the three of you, so is it really that surprising that I would want to know less stuff about you than I do about them?¡±

    ¡°What?! How dare you! I¡¯m way cooler than Yvessa.¡±

    Sam smacked his lips. ¡°Please Felix, don¡¯t make a fool of yourself. She grew up in a royal court. And not not a shitty one, descended from traitors like Sweden¡¯s. A real one, with actual executive power. She¡¯s friends with that Erianna chick that everyone seems to talk about. She¡¯s familiar enough with Farris to not only dislike him, but to not be afraid to show him discourtesy.¡±

    ¡°Sure. But who would make for a better story protagonist? Someone like Yvessa that grew up sheltered and with no struggles. Or someone like me? That had to fight against poverty, and discrimination, and the whole world, in order to be where I am right now.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good point. On the other hand¡­ You are gay. And if you take too much screen time, that¡¯s going to lose us Middle America. But¡­ Yvessa is a strong independent woman with a lot of agency who is apparently overshadowed not by a guy but by an even stronger woman. That¡¯s pretty girl boss. And that¡¯s going to cost us the incel crowd. Decision decisions¡­¡±

    ¡°How about we make you the protagonist, then?¡±

    ¡°Here¡¯s an idea!¡±

    ¡°Yeah! We could sell it as just your classic isekai story.¡±

    ¡°OK. We put a freeze on discussing that for an entire year. Your callback is way too early.¡±

    ¡°At least I get a call back.¡±

    ¡°Is that a joke about me never being on a date?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not very good.¡±

    ¡°You still got it, though.¡±

    ¡°Barely. It only works because we were just talking about that.¡±

    ¡°A joke¡¯s a joke. Right, here we are. Let¡¯s go grab your stuff.¡±

    Sam¡¯s stuff ended up being a giant plastic box that was left inside the campus delivery area. ¡°You¡¯re Sam Anders?¡± asked him the guard while looking him up and down.

    ¡°That¡¯s the name I gave them, yeah.¡± Sam took out his new, never going to be used driver¡¯s license to show her.

    ¡°Right. You can take your stuff then. Good luck on making it to Ruler.¡±

    ¡°Jesus, her too?¡± Sam whispered to Felix once the guard was out of earshot.

    Felix shrugged. ¡°Welcome to fame, buddy. Now I assume that you¡¯re not going to help me to carry this stuff?¡±

    ¡°You assume correctly. Hopefully, just like my assumption that they bunched up everything I ordered into this gigantic box that¡¯s never going to fit through my door.¡±

    ¡°You also assume correctly. Sarah must have picked this delivery option so she could carry everything for you herself. Real kind of her to leave me alone with it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to have trouble carrying it?¡±

    ¡°Nah, no problem. Will just have to come over with you to Dan after breakfast and ask him to top me up cause I won¡¯t have time to gather enough to refill. We have practice sparring with patterns today and you¡¯re supposed to come with your core full in order not to take the risk that you¡¯ll run out midway. And keeping my patterns up all the way to your dorm is going to run me pretty dry.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t you gather during the patterns lesson?¡±

    ¡°Not if I want to pay attention to it.¡±

    ¡°Huh. That¡¯s good to know. Calms me somewhat. Cause I don¡¯t see myself gathering while learning anytime soon.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t worry about it. Even the greatest geniuses in the Web aren¡¯t going to be able to focus on studying while gathering. At least not efficiently. It¡¯s like trying to do calculus while at the same time reading Joyce.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you read Ulysses?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t know that book. It¡¯s just a saying.¡± Felix shut his eyes and shook himself, jumping up and down. Sam was pretty sure that wasn¡¯t a requirement for activating the patterns. ¡°OK, I¡¯m ready. Help me with the first lift at least, will you?¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± Sam reluctantly agreed. He bent down opposite Felix, and on the other¡¯s command, he lifted the box. ¡°Is it the legs or the back you¡¯re supposed to lift with?¡± he asked, his joking tone barely making it through the strain he was feeling.

    ¡°Alright, you can let go,¡± said Felix, who then somehow managed to strap the box upon his back. Apparently, the thing came with shoulder straps. ¡°Lead on.¡± Felix gestured. He seemed strained, as evident by the tautness of his muscles and his reddening fists, clutching at the box¡¯s straps.

    ¡°OK, I got to ask. What the fuck is up with this box? Do people really deliver stuff like this?¡±

    ¡°You think that this is some sort of practical joke? Want to try carrying this shit for yourself? It¡¯s just how some things are delivered nowadays. If the person ordering them is strong enough to carry it. Mind you, I am a peak physical Terran specimen. Most people, even those of higher levels, won¡¯t be handling this so easily. Ah, fuck! This shit is heavy. How much did you spend on the build?¡±

    ¡°Literally as much as possible, thanks to your tax dollars.¡±

    ¡°Never had to pay tax yet. And now I probably never will. So it¡¯s not my money you¡¯re mooching off.¡±

    ¡°Mooching? Let me remind you that I was not privy to any of your government amenities for the first twenty-two years of my life. Which means that unless I manage to create a company that¡¯s too big to fail¡ªonly for it to shockingly fail and have to get bailed out by the government in order not to cause further damage to the, Friedman approved to never fail again, financial system¡ªthat the feds would have still spent less money on me than they did for the average Terran.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have a federal government, you know that, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, we are a unitary, parliamentary republic with a bicameral legislature. The upper house of which still doesn¡¯t make much sense to me. What with regional divisions and district subdivisions being administrative in nature. I did look all of that, as well as the tense and complex relationship the executive has with the military, up. But that won¡¯t stop me from making inaccurate comparisons or misnomers, I guarantee you.¡±

    ¡°Wow, that¡¯s a lot of big words for someone who doesn¡¯t understand how the Second Assembly works. By the way, you¡¯re going to help me upgrade my PC unless you want me squatting in your room to play with yours.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you also have a potentially unlimited bank account to draw from?¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s just Taken privilege. I only have a regular, incredibly high for my age and level, salary that¡¯s meant to ensure that I have all of my needs met and nothing distracts me from training. But I send most of it back home.¡±

    ¡°Jesus, you¡¯re that poor?¡±

    ¡°Not anymore. So you gonna pay for me or what?¡±

    ¡°Sure I will. It¡¯s not like I earned that money or that I have anything else to do with it. But why couldn¡¯t you just ask Sarah for some toys?¡±

    ¡°Cause Sarah gives off the vibe that she¡¯s reluctant to use the money she¡¯s given. You saw her laptop, right?¡±

    ¡°Really? That doesn¡¯t sound right. She¡¯s the one that paid for all the stuff we bought back on Saturday. I didn¡¯t have a credit card at that point.¡±

    ¡°Maybe that¡¯s because she likes you.¡±

    ¡°You had to say that in that tone?¡±

    ¡°S and S, sitting on a tree K I S S I N G.¡±

    ¡°A potential romantic relationship between me and Sarah is not something to joke about.¡±

    ¡°Oh relax. You aren¡¯t interested in her, she¡¯s not in you. You¡¯re both just friends. Really good friends with a very deep and complex emotional and historical connection, despite having just met a week ago for the first time. But still just friends. You don¡¯t have to worry about breaking her heart anytime soon. You Casanova you. Of course, if you guys do decide to shack up eventually, I won¡¯t stand in your way.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. Can we just drop this whole romance talk? It¡¯s making me icky.¡±

    ¡°But talking about porn is smooth sailing?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know the people that I see in porn.¡±

    ¡°Is this about the whole you not looking for a romantic relationship bit? I¡¯d know a thing or two about that.¡±

    ¡°Because you only have one-night stands and fuck buddies?¡±

    ¡°Please, Sam, manners. They¡¯re called booty calls. And I¡¯ve yet to make any around here. So if you happen to know any hot, single gay guys who aren¡¯t looking for emotional attachments. Give me a call.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve only met one gay guy since coming here, and he isn¡¯t hot.¡±

    ¡°You did that joke already. And it doesn¡¯t work because Javi is also gay, remember?¡±

    ¡°Who? I¡¯m sorry. I don¡¯t remember the names of people that I have nothing more to gain from.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m the same way¡ª¡±

    ¡°Only with sex.¡±

    ¡°only with sex,¡± Felix confirmed. They had just made it to Sam¡¯s dorms, so they had to cut short the conversation while Sam opened the building¡¯s door for Felix and they began the climb up to Sam¡¯s room. Standing in the corridor outside of his room, Sam once again helped, however minimal his aid actually was, Felix with the box.

    ¡°What now?¡± Sam asked with the box on the floor.

    ¡°Now we open it up.¡± And lo-and-behold, Felix quickly pried the top open, revealing all the computer related purchases that Sam had made on Saturday.

    ¡°Holy shit, it¡¯s all here. And in good order from the look of it.¡±

    ¡°Of course. Did you think it was just going to be stuffed up in there? These are hard and tried delivery boxes, widely used. The people making them know what they¡¯re doing.¡± They began to unload the different items and set them down by Sam¡¯s desk. And in short order, the box was emptied of its contents and all that remained was to finish setting up Sam¡¯s new PC. ¡°You gonna stay here or come with me to drop this off?¡±

    ¡°Drop it off where?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a recycling zone two minutes from here. We¡¯ll leave it there.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit, it¡¯s recyclable?¡± asked Sam, who was evidently coming with Felix to drop off the box in order to find out where the recycling zone was.

    ¡°Of course it is. Either that or they give it to someone who¡¯s going to use it again. They¡¯re great boxes, you know?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. And how convenient as well. Without it, we wouldn¡¯t have been able to carry all the stuff just the two of us, and we would have missed out and this very manly one-on-one time with each other.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, which reminds me that I¡¯m still angry at you for not knowing that I fight with a spear.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m still angry at your way of life being an affront to god. So that cancels out.¡±

    ¡°Is this about the pre-marital sex or being gay?¡±

    ¡°Now now Felix. You have to remember that I come from a different time period than you. Back when I was a young boy, in the sixties, saying stuff like ¡®I don¡¯t care about people being gay, as long as they¡¯re not being gay to my face,¡¯ made you a forward thinker, not a homophobe.¡±

    ¡°Wow¡­ times have indeed changed.¡±

    ¡°They have. And not for the better.¡±

    ¡°No, of course not. Unfortunately, we had yet to arrive at the best form of Terran society. When women aren¡¯t allowed to vote and being gay is the norm.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s where you¡¯re wrong. We have already passed those days, actually. Ah¡­ the BCEs. When men were men. Unless they were slaves or children, in which case they were not men. And women were women, which meant that they were equal to slaves and children. As envisioned by Aristotle¡¯s perfect polity.¡±

 Chapter 54

    Once he and Felix came back to Sam¡¯s room, they starting setting up Sam¡¯s new PC. Which is where Felix truly came in clutch, his previous help in carrying the entire setup disregarded as it was a direct order from Sarah. Felix was handy with computers, for a layman, at least. Much in the same way that Sam was handy with computers before he was brought a hundred years to the future and had to undergo transformation into being technologically illiterate on account of his age.

    Jokes aside, things did change between then and now. And although nothing major enough that Sam wouldn¡¯t have been able to figure it out with some good old intuition and online help, Felix¡¯s up-to-date knowledge sped things up. Before too long, they finished installing the OS and moved on to installing all the programs Sam might need, per to Felix¡¯s advice. This brought Sam much closer to his old ¡®I¡¯m familiar with all the important programs for me¡¯ self because almost all the programs he had downloaded on his laptop so far, were done per Sarah¡¯s instruction and lacked greatly in the non boring department.

    They were just about done when Sarah and Yvessa arrived, bearing four packed breakfasts. ¡°How¡¯s it going?¡± Yvessa asked, and further confirmed Felix¡¯s claim of her interest by taking a minute to look through all of Sam¡¯s new purchases.

    ¡°Almost finished,¡± Felix said. ¡°You can start eating. I just want to show Sam a last couple of things.¡±

    ¡°Better not be any porn.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not. That was the first thing we went over. Oh, I¡¯ll need Dan¡¯s help to refill my core, so I¡¯m going to come with him to Dan¡¯s after we finish eating. You coming with?¡±

    ¡°And ruin yet another chance for you two guys to bond? Sure.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Sam said while sitting down to join in the meal. ¡°It will give us a chance to talk about so called ¡®retro games.¡¯¡±

    ¡°What makes you think that I know anything about that?¡±

    ¡°Felix gave you up.¡± He gestured to the guy, who was in the middle of a bite.

    ¡°Tch. It¡¯s not like I play a lot of games, especially old ones. It¡¯s just that Felix won¡¯t play anything from before he was born.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s so bad about admitting that you like video games?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s not video games that I have a problem with. I¡¯ll admit it: I like some video games. It¡¯s Felix acting like I exclusively play games from Sam¡¯s period. I mostly play modern stuff.¡±

    Sam tutted. ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with admitting that you enjoy cultural products from the heyday of Terran civilization.¡±

    ¡°How would you know it¡¯s the heyday? You don¡¯t know any modern stuff.¡±

    ¡°Excuse you? I beg to differ. Sarah gave me some music recommendations and from the few that I listened to, I can declare that rock and roll is dead.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s because Sarah¡¯s taste is trash.¡±

    ¡°Hey! Plenty of people like the music I listen to.¡±

    ¡°Old people,¡± Felix scoffed.

    ¡°You also like some of my stuff!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve got an old guy¡¯s mentality. What can I say?¡±

    ¡°And you said that you liked it too, Sam!¡±

    ¡°Meh¡­ I didn¡¯t like them enough to abandon my cultural sense of superiority.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m guessing that you¡¯re not going to see and modern movies tonight?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s up to Sam,¡± Sarah said. ¡°He gets to pick the movie.¡±

    ¡°I do?¡± This was news to Sam, who hadn¡¯t given the subject even an errant thought.

    ¡°Yeah. Just pick whatever you want. As long as you don¡¯t mind as talking over it, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Mhmm¡­ what to pick? What to pick? A comedy? Or a comedy? Or maybe a stupid comedy?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have a favorite movie?¡±

    ¡°I do. But it¡¯s not a comedy.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not Lord of The Rings, is it?¡±

    ¡°No! Of course not! How dare you! It¡¯s a completely different kind of movie, based on a completely different novel. Lord of the Rings¡­ Hah! I like Lord of the Rings way too much for it to be my favorite movie.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°It does if you¡¯ve read the books. Which, by the way, can you believe Sarah hadn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t too.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, me as well.¡± Yvessa shrugged.

    Sam took a deep breath. He then released it. He then took another breath. That one he released as well. You had to be calm and collected about these things. These were his friends he was dealing with. His only friends. He couldn¡¯t go about this with his usual firebrand mentality. ¡°Yeah¡­¡± He smacked his lips. ¡°So¡­ if you guys don¡¯t read the book by the time we graduate, I¡¯m breaking off contact with you.¡±

    ¡°Is it by the time that we graduate?¡± Felix asked, pointing at him and Yvessa. ¡°Or that you graduate, if you end up starting on year one? What about Sarah? She graduates a year before us.¡±

    ¡°All good questions. I was talking about the time that the three of us will graduate. Because I am most definitely going to graduate the same time as you two. Sarah, I¡¯m leaning towards it being your graduation because you had ample time to read it back in our time, but because you already have a lot on your plate, I¡¯m going to give you the extra year.¡±

    ¡°Thanks Sam!¡± Sarah said with a sincere smile. He didn¡¯t like that one bit.

    ¡°Or don¡¯t. You don¡¯t have to read it. It¡¯s just a book. Literally life changing in my case, but I doubt that it¡¯s going to be in yours. It¡¯s up to you, really.¡±

    ¡°Are we also off the hook?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°No. You two will just have to play less games and watch less porn. Them¡¯s the breaks, I¡¯m afraid.¡±

    ¡°You hear that, Yvessa? You gotta ease it on the porn. Your friendship with Sam rests on it.¡± Felix received a middle finger in reply. ¡°But I don¡¯t get it. Why do I need to read the book, anyway? I watched the movies, both versions. I already knew the story beforehand. Not to mention, that whole genre of fantasy kind of lost its luster after the Integration.¡±

    ¡°Felix, my friend. My pal. My buddy. The only gay guy that I know¡ª¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡±

    ¡°Felix, you¡¯re going to read that book. You know why? Not because I told you so. But because one day we¡¯re going to find ourselves fighting back to back and I¡¯m going to make a reference by asking you how it feels dying side by side with a Taken. And if you won¡¯t answer me correctly, then I¡¯m going to rip your head off and defect to the other side.¡±

    ¡°But I don¡¯t need to read the book for that. That line is in the movie. Both of the good versions!¡±

    ¡°Maybe so, but you know where it isn¡¯t? In the fucking book! You know why?! Because Legolas and Gimli were already best friends by Lothlorien! That¡¯s only four-fifths of a third of the way in! So you¡¯re going to read the book and you¡¯re going to like it! And when it¡¯s time for us to die side by, I¡¯m going to say that line and you¡¯re going to react by saying that we must be in the movie version of our lives because in the books we were already friends. Am I clear?¡±

    ¡°Where does Yvessa enter into the picture?¡±

    ¡°She can be Galadriel and give me three locks of her hair, an act which true meaning you won¡¯t understand unless you¡¯ve also read the Silmarillion. But I¡¯m a generous crybaby I am. So I¡¯ll give you until I make it to Ruler to finish the Silmarillion. And that¡¯s not a joke about the Silmarillion being hard to get through! I¡¯m serious. I fucking love that book. I just don¡¯t have any other milestones to give you a deadline with.¡±

    ¡°What about the year of Military Training?¡± suggested Galadriel.

    ¡°No¡­ it feels to me like it¡¯s going to be pretty hectic and what not. I wouldn¡¯t feel comfortable telling you to do that.¡±

    ¡°How gracious of you. By the way, what does breaking contact with us actually entail?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll only speak to you in official capacity and only if I have to.¡±

    ¡°No more jokes?¡± Felix gasped.

    ¡°None.¡±

    ¡°And over the top bigotry?¡±

    ¡°Not when speaking to you.¡±

    ¡°And references that only you understand?¡±

    ¡°Not unless there are other people present.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa, we have to read that book!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll read it too Sam,¡± Sarah said. ¡°It¡¯ll give us something to talk about.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to. You¡¯ve already seen the movies. Plus, we have plenty of stuff to talk about already. Like shitting on on certain electoral results.¡±

    ¡°What electoral results are those?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°There¡¯s really just too many to count.¡±

    ¡°If it makes you feel any better,¡± Sarah said. ¡°In the long run, none of them ended up mattering and having influence or bearing on the current political or cultural state of affairs.¡±

    ¡°It does make me feel better, thank you. Doesn¡¯t mean that we have to stop shitting on them, though.¡±

    ¡°Will someone please tell me what the hell are you talking about?¡±

    So Sam did. In great length. Whiling the rest of the breakfast away and unjustly heaping all of his woes on the back of a certain Frenchman. ¡°So that¡¯s that,¡± he said. ¡°Want  we should move on to another supranational, although not geographical, organization?¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s fine,¡± Felix squeaked. ¡°Really, it¡¯s quite alright. Thank you. No reason for you to waste your knowledge on such poor foolish recipients like us.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s up to you,¡± Sam said. ¡°Just don¡¯t let it be said that Sam Anders doesn¡¯t answer a question when he¡¯s asked one.¡±

    ¡°Better yet, let¡¯s not ask Sam Anders a question ever again.¡±

    ¡°So where are you from, Sam?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Sarah!¡± Felix choked up.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. He¡¯s not going to answer that.¡±

    ¡°Sure I will!¡± Sam smiled. ¡°I am from the former planet of Earth, third from the sun in the solar system of Sol, and proud of it!¡±

    ¡°Which nation are you from?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. What is that? Naashioon? I¡¯m not familiar with the concept. I¡¯m a one earth one people kind of guy.¡±

    ¡°See?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s very well done.¡± Felix rubbed his eyes. ¡°Maybe you could have got him to do that three hours ago when he started his whole speech.¡±

    ¡°I liked it.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± asked Sam and Felix in unison.

    ¡°Sure I did. You know how rare it is for me to hear someone talking about Earth, much less Britain? All we studied about Earth in Terran history is the Integration War. I like talking about stuff from back then.¡±

    ¡°You should take a course or two on pre-modern Terran History then,¡± Yvessa suggested.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s such a good idea. I¡¯m already swamped as it is.¡±

    ¡°Might have something to do with all those other useless courses that you are taking.¡±

    ¡°So what movie are we seeing tonight, Sam?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s watch something British. I¡¯ll make a list and you decide.¡± Sam had a hint of what he would place at the top of the list.

    ¡°No that¡¯s fine. I rather you just pick whatever you want to watch.¡±

    ¡°Pick porn! Pick porn!¡± Felix whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear.

    ¡°Not porn.¡±

    ¡°Do guys seriously just get together and watch porn?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Felix answered.

    ¡°No,¡± said Sam.

    ¡°Maybe you don¡¯t mate.¡±

    ¡°Do you?¡±

    ¡°No. But some people do, I assure you! And it¡¯s not just a guy thing, plenty of women do it as well.¡±

    ¡°Oh good,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Please, do speak for all women.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say all women. I said some women.¡±

    ¡°You said plenty.¡±

    ¡°It could mean both options.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Why do you get to speak for all women, then?¡±

    ¡°Guys.¡± Sam held up his hands. ¡°There are billions of people living and breathing right now. Right? Three Billion? Yeah. So in these three billion there are bound to be some people, of any gender, who gather around with other people of the same or any other gender, and just sit and watch porn. That¡¯s just how probability work. When you have a large enough amount of people, eventually they¡¯re going to try and do everything they are physically capable of doing. What does matter, however, is that we, don¡¯t, do this. So we, can, make, fun of those people! Unless, of course, they just so happen to be the silent majority and us jeering them will wake them up like a sleeping tiger.¡±

    ¡°Why do you get to speak for all Terrans?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m the oldest one, therefore I¡¯m the smartest.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not a guarantee you know¡­¡± Sarah said. ¡°It could be that another Taken, Maurice, for example, was born before you were, and he was just taken young.¡±

    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

    ¡°OK. When was Maurice born?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you if you tell me when you were.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you a hint. The first video game I ever played was Rayman.¡±

    ¡°Which one?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Now that¡¯s a question¡­ Which Rayman games are you familiar with, hmm? How many Rayman games are you familiar with? Dare I ask how you are familiar with¡ª¡±

    ¡°Never mind.¡±

    ¡°One of these days you¡¯re going to slip up,¡± Sarah said. ¡°You¡¯re going to say something that will give away everything you¡¯re trying to hide about yourself. And if it turns out in the end that you¡¯re French. I¡¯m going to make to make fun of you. I promise you that.¡±

    ¡°Why would me being French be a cause for derision? Not that I am of course. To my greatest shame.¡±

    ¡°Then why do you keep making jokes about them?¡±

    ¡°WHAT?! How dare you?! Me? Making jokes of the French? I would never! I love France. Even if all the prototypes about them were true, I would still love these great citizens of that proud nations. Even if all of them do smoke all the time. Even if they all hate anyone who speaks English. Even if some of their most famous philosophers have¡­ problematic opinions.? I would never! Never change my mind about the French!

    ¡°True, I might not be a beacon of multicultural acceptance but you won¡¯t find the French in the category of Western European cultures of which I think there¡¯s some definite room for improvment. Those fall under a very selective and analytical grouping. Like those pretentious Monegasques who think the word ¡®Monacans¡¯ isn¡¯t good enough for them. Or those rebellious Walloons. Or the lake loving Romands. A small portion of Andorrans, depending on the time of the year. Luxembourgers are fifty-fifty, depending on whether they are willing to be reintegrated into the Kingdom of the Netherlands when their time comes.¡±

    ¡°What do you think about the Quebecois?¡± Sarah asked him with her attempt at an innocent smile.

    ¡°Well, that depends. Is France trying to flex their muscles at NATO? Apropos de Gaulle?¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± cried Felix. ¡°Would you look at that? It¡¯s almost time for our lesson. And we have to go to Dan before that. Darn. Means we have to get going right now? Double darn. Well, no use in delaying any longer. Let¡¯s get going. Sarah, we really need to get going. Do you mind cleaning up for us?¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Fine, fine. Be on your way.¡±

    Felix jumped over the three of them, rushing out of the door and down the stairs. Yvessa stood up, and, with a courteous bow to Sam, offered him to go first. They found Felix waiting downstairs, tapping his foot with hands crossed. ¡°I¡¯ll still be able to talk your ear off on the way there,¡± Sam warned him. ¡°I¡¯ve watched plenty of Sorkin¡¯s shows in order to master the Walk and Talk, just so you know.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but at least there will be an end in sight. And worse comes to worst; I could always run on ahead.¡±

    ¡°Ah yes. The most common practice used by people who don¡¯t want to speak with me anymore. Let me tell you, once I lost my legs, the amount of conversations I had shot down considerably. I couldn¡¯t run after them anymore.¡±

    ¡°Ha! Now that¡¯s funny. Why couldn¡¯t you talk about stuff like that instead of all the other crap you¡¯ve just spouted?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s cornerstone Earth history that he was talking about, Felix,¡± Yvessa chided. ¡°You could stand to show some respect to our ancestors.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s right Felix. But what you really should be doing is your own research in order to reach your own conclusions regarding all the stuff that I was talking about. Of course, you¡¯re more than welcome to take everything I say as the absolute truth. I guarantee you that when I¡¯m talking about the integrational aspects of globalization that I don¡¯t joke around. Long may they rest.¡±

    ¡°We still have globalization of sorts,¡± Felix said. ¡°It¡¯s just called the Global Web now. The entire Web growing closer together. Isn¡¯t that great? Intermingling of all races, sharing in scientific discovery, fighting alongside one another instead of each other. Of course, it¡¯s not always seen as a positive. And we Terrans get the majority of the criticism from the other nations when they decide they don¡¯t like it.

    ¡°They¡¯ll say that our trains are bad even though they¡¯re what made it possible for normal people to travel from one side of the Web to another in a matter of days. They don¡¯t like the internet, and radio or phones. But then it turns out that it¡¯s cheaper to hire radio operators at the front than to train people to be mental connectors. And then they want nukes from us so they forget all their moaning about how our much more industrialized society is hurting their economies. But they have Chosen, one and all, so they get to be hypocrites.¡±

    ¡°You sound just like a Terra Also pamphlet when you talk like that,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Is it a nicer way to say Terrans First?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what that is. They¡¯re not just racist, at least most of them aren¡¯t, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re asking. Terra Also is the third biggest political party in parliament, although they sit outside the coalition. They don¡¯t really have a concrete agenda besides claiming that the Terran Republic is being stiffed by the other nations and that they should be sharing with us their knowledge and training just as we share ours with them. Hence Terra Also. They also want an equal sit on the table, even if we don¡¯t have any Chosen currently. Especially because they claim that if we received honest aid from the other powers, we would have already been able to produce a Chosen and many more Rulers.¡±

    ¡°So are they right or wrong? From where I¡¯m standing, there seems to be some logic behind their words. Even if we Terrans have the shittiest pathways on average, our numbers should still be playing hugely in our favor.¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know. They seem to believe it, at least. But in my opinion, the kingdom does all it can to aid the republic without also hurting its own development. Doesn¡¯t Farris coming all the way to greet you and become your mentor, all while still leaving you under Terran authority, prove just that?¡±

    ¡°All the way? Felix just said that there are trains that circumnavigate the Web in a matter of days. How long does it even take to get from here to Maynil?¡±

    ¡°Less than a day on a train.¡±

    ¡°And for a Ruler like Farris?¡± Sam narrowed his eyes.

    ¡°Way less than a day.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I see. Then let¡¯s hope that he doesn¡¯t make the journey too often. Of course, next time he¡¯s here, I¡¯ll be sure to ask him for some two-on-one sparring lessons. How about that Felix? Would it improve your mood if the supreme commander of our forces at the front dedicates his own time to helping you train?¡±

    Felix sighed. ¡°I guess that it would. I certainly wouldn¡¯t say no to that.¡±

    ¡°Very good. You see Yvessa? We are going to beat Felix¡¯s sense of national (or is it racial?) inferiority out of him yet. We are not going to let him become one of those Terran supremacists Rulers who are disillusioned with the other races and want to pull back from the front or something.¡±

    ¡°How did you know that we have those?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°We actually do? How many?¡±

    ¡°Just two, thankfully. At least, just two who are vocal about it. They¡¯re not going as far as to say that we should pull from the front, but I¡¯m willing to bet that they¡¯re definitely thinking about it.¡±

    ¡°And it¡¯s just as well that you won¡¯t have one of our Rulers teaching you about threads,¡± Felix said. ¡°Because you would not get along with those two. I met them, and even I didn¡¯t like them. Not saying that I should have. I don¡¯t like your guys¡¯ insinuation that I¡¯m anything like those assholes.¡±

    ¡°Of course you¡¯re not,¡± Sam said. ¡°But maybe they weren¡¯t always as big as assholes as they are now, you know? We just don¡¯t want you to end even remotely close to them.¡±

    ¡°Fine, I get it.¡± Then Felix shook his head and laughed. ¡°But we¡¯re probably going to end up being close to them anyway, physically, that is. There¡¯s no way those two aren¡¯t going to want to meet you when they get here.¡±

    ¡°When they get here? Wait, wait¡­ I seem to recall something about Rulers changing places. And it was also to the unit of two of them¡­ Ach! I can¡¯t! It was so many info-dumps ago! No, wait! Those are¡ª¡±

    ¡°Those are the two Rulers who are relieving Esther Livingstone and Zemira Bogani from guarding New Terra. They¡¯ll be here in two months¡¯ time.¡±

    ¡°OK. Cool. They¡¯re not going to kill me if I make fun of them, right?¡±

    ¡°Not with Dan there,¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯ll have to hear all about them and then you and I will get around to crafting some jokes. No, never mind. On second thought, I don¡¯t want to know anything else about them. I want to keep the encounter as fresh and organic as possible. Do all the other races also have these kinds of racist asshole Rulers in their ranks?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Yvessa laughed. ¡°Even the deshars somehow manage to have a few. Although, I don¡¯t think that the dwarves have any. They¡¯re very into multiracialism and integration into and with different societies from what I understand. Which, funnily enough, you can also gleam from the fact that one of their yearly days of mourning is dedicated to the day when it was discovered that dwarves and Imperials can¡¯t procreate.¡±

    ¡°Awesome! Horny dwarves. Just another W for the only ones of Tolkien¡¯s boys to do nothing wrong. I¡¯m guessing our appearance must have also hit them pretty hard, then?¡±

    ¡°After several years of deliberation, they decided to join the new tragedy to the same day as the old one. Same thing they did for when they discovered that they also can¡¯t breed with elves.¡±

    ¡°God bless those horny bastards. They don¡¯t have helmets with horns, do they?¡±

    ¡°No one does.¡±

    ¡°OK good. God bless them. Maybe we¡¯ll manage to find a race that the dwarves can multiply with, somewhere beyond the Epirak lines. Because, and this is where I bring us back to the topic of Felix¡¯s moral character, that¡¯s where we¡¯re headed eventually. Mark my words, you two.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Felix¡¯s question was tinged with his ill-confidence and disbelief. ¡°And what does that have to do with my moral character? I¡¯m a good person!¡±

    ¡°For now, yes. But it is our duty as your friends to not let you stray from the proper path and get radicalized by social media. And we are doing this not only because you are our friend, but also because of what you mean to the whole Terran Republic and the world, I mean the Web, at large. For you see, my friends of small faith: the four of us are going to become great someones, some time in the future. We¡¯ll be at the top of the top, the cream of the crop, the big boys at the little table. And then we¡¯ll be undertaking some pretty book worthy endeavors, let me tell you. Like, for example, pushing the Epiraks back beyond the current lines.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­.¡± Felix shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m not going to question the soundness of the strategy that you just mentioned. I¡¯ll let you discover why what you said is idiotic in your own time. What I do want to know is this: which one of us is going to be strongest?¡±

    ¡°I will, of course.¡±

    ¡°Of course. Yvessa, how could you ask such a stupid question? Of course, Sam is going to become the strongest one of us! But that¡¯s just in the end though, right? So who¡¯s going to become a Ruler first?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I¡¯m going to say¡­ Dan.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re only saying that because you just saw him sitting there waving at us.¡±

    ¡°Really?! Where?¡± Sam exaggeratedly whipped his head around, away from the bench that Dan was sitting on. ¡°Ow! I pulled a muscle!¡±

    ¡°Serves you right.¡±

    ¡°I see you three have already become fast friends,¡± Dan said with a smile while getting up to greet them.

    ¡°Well, no one gives a better analysis of the whole tragedy of direct democracy than Sam here.¡± Felix slapped Sam¡¯s nape, at exactly the point that he had just finished massaging.

    ¡°No one alive, you mean.¡± Sam weakly slapped Felix¡¯s side with the back of his hand. ¡°I¡¯m sure that there are proper historians, political scientists and what not that could have trounced me with their knowledge of the subject back in the day.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s still all those kinds of people, even today.¡±

    ¡°Sure. But no matter how knowledgeable or well resourced they are, I¡¯ll always be able to shut them down by saying: ¡®Whatever maaan, you weren¡¯t there, you wouldn¡¯t know.¡¯ Why do you think old people are always right when they¡¯re speaking about the good old days?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve had a fruitful morning, then?¡± Dan asked. ¡°You two want to join in on Sam¡¯s training?¡±

    ¡°Not this time,¡± Yvessa said. Was she just polite or was she actually meaning to join Sam¡¯s lessons eventually? Come to think of it, Dan was also in charge of his three friends. Was Sam taking precious training time that should have rightly been theirs? ¡°We¡¯re just here because Felix drained himself helping Sam carry his new computer back to his room. And he needs your help with refilling his core.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, ¡®helping Sam?¡¯ I was the only one carrying it!¡± Felix said while presenting Dan with his arm.

    Hand on Felix¡¯s forearm, Dan asked, ¡°You have weapon training after lunch, right? They¡¯re having you spar with patterns today? You¡¯re moving along nicely, both of you. All four of you, I should say.¡±

    ¡°You make it sound like you¡¯re going to eat us once we¡¯re strong enough,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Now, why would I do that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe it will help you become a Ruler.¡±

    ¡°You think it would?¡±

    ¡°Worth a try. Have a nibble at the very least.¡±

    ¡°Thanks Dan. OK! Very funny,¡± said Felix, trying to pull his arm back and out of Dan¡¯s grip.

    ¡°C¡¯mon Felix,¡± Sam said. ¡°Let him have a bite. Just the top of the middle finger. I¡¯ll have you know that there¡¯s no disadvantage in living with one that¡¯s the same length as the other two.¡± Dan laughed and let go of Felix¡¯s forearm, who then rubbed it with an exasperated face aimed at Sam.

    ¡°Thank you, Dan,¡± Yvessa said in a polite tone while reclining her head. ¡°We¡¯ll be going now. Have fun with your lesson.¡±

    ¡°See you tomorrow, Sam.¡± Felix clapped him on the back. ¡°Good luck with Sarah.¡±

    ¡°Why would you need luck with Sarah?¡± Dan asked him while bidding him to take a seat next to him on the bench.

    ¡°We¡¯re having this dinner and a movie today. And each one of us is going to try and convince the other one that they¡¯re behaving irrational. Or at least I¡¯m going to try and convince Sarah that she shouldn¡¯t worry so much about me and she will try to convince me that she isn¡¯t. Or maybe we¡¯ll just end up making fun of the movie. Delay the uncomfortable discussion for a later date, forever, if I¡¯m lucky.¡±

    ¡°I doubt luck will be your companion in this aspect today. But I still wish it to you and Sarah both, whatever you end up talking about or deciding.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not gonna try and intervene in the matter? Being in charge of us and what not?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m in charge of your training and military education, not your personal lives. And this seems like a discussion that was going to happen between you two, even were the military education not part of the equation. Besides, you don¡¯t want me intervening now, do you?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. I was just making sure. And speaking of making sure: are you sure that you¡¯re not hurting Sarah, Felix and Yvessa¡¯s own military education by focusing so much on me?¡±

    Dan laughed. ¡°I would have probably been back at the front for this entire trimester, maybe even the next one, if it wasn¡¯t for you. New Point is a great institution, despite not being able to meet your own unique circumstances as a Thread-Weaver. On par with the Sarechi Royal Academy for the most part, even if they won¡¯t admit that. And unlike you, your friends had already been groomed for life in the academy since they were young. Well, younger. There wasn¡¯t much more that I could do for them, nor for any of my other, more minor charges, after the first trimester. So I didn¡¯t have a lot of reasons for sticking around, especially since I could still do much of my work from the front. Of course, now that I¡¯m back here, I¡¯ll be more than glad to offer additional help to any of your fellow students, if they, or I, deem it necessary. But my main reason for being here was and will remain, at least for this year, you. So you don¡¯t have to worry about hurting your friends¡¯ development. And that was before Farris entered the picture.¡±

    ¡°Uh oh. Why do I not like the sound of that?¡±

    ¡°Because you don¡¯t like attention that you feel like you don¡¯t deserve.¡±

    ¡°Were you eavesdropping on us this morning?¡±

    ¡°No. I¡¯m just that good.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­ So what did Farris do? I¡¯m assuming he did something that I¡¯m not aware of. You were already aware of the whole mentor thing yesterday.¡±

    ¡°I was. But now most of the Terran general staff also know about that. Apparently, he spent a considerable amount of his time describing you to the various officers. Which was why it was very annoying for them when Farris explicitly forbade them from revealing that information to anyone else.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s so bad about that? Confidential information should be confidential, no?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Only in the case of the modern Terran military, it isn¡¯t the general staff which is chiefly in command of the military like you¡¯re probably used to. As evident by it being wholly based on New Terra and having no Rulers permanently assigned to it. The general staff is instead responsible for the logistics of the army and interfacing with the civilian government. What this means, is that Farris essentially forbade the people in the meeting from reporting about you to their superior officers at the front. Which again, wouldn¡¯t have been so annoying for them if Farris hadn¡¯t wasted so much of his time talking about you. In fact, the conference still hasn¡¯t culminated, but Farris already went back to Maynil. His greatest contribution to it being speaking about becoming your mentor and then forbidding them to pass on that information.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I really am. I realize that this is awful for you as well. They probably wrote you a bunch of annoyed emails complaining and that¡¯s why you¡¯re so cross. But it¡¯s just so fucking funny. This is an abuse of authority of the highest level. And it¡¯s as nonsensical as it is worthless. It¡¯s just pure comedic genius if he went through all that and once he was back home, he went and told the entire top brass there about me as well. Maybe he wanted to be the one to tell them first, and that¡¯s why he rushed back home.¡±

    ¡°I fail to see the humor in what you¡¯re describing.¡±

    ¡°You just had to be there.¡±

    ¡°You weren¡¯t there.¡±

    ¡°Not true. As my mentor. Farris carries a piece of me with him everywhere he goes.¡±

    Dan cracked a smile. ¡°Just a nibble, surely?¡±

    ¡°Nothing more than the top of my middle finger. Seriously though, did Farris actually cause a change in my¡­ education plan, I guess?¡±

    ¡°When one of the most important people in the Web takes an interest in someone, that will always make a difference. Even if before we were planning to do all in our power to nurture you, Farris proclaiming himself your mentor, has caused us to find some more power beneath the couch cushions, so to speak. But if it makes you feel any better, I was already planning to do everything I could to help you, so alas, my couch remained the same when I checked it.¡±

    ¡°Here¡¯s to Farris then. Hopefully, I¡¯ll manage to live up to his weird-ass expectations of me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you will. Oh, before I forget, your new workout regimen has you exercising during the evening tomorrow, right?¡±

    ¡°Supposed to be that way, at least.¡±

    ¡°Good. Then I¡¯ll confirm it with Lin Jingway and you¡¯ll be having a session with him tomorrow morning. We¡¯ll meet again after breakfast. And in other joyous new, I should have your schedule for the second trimester completed by then. Which means that we could begin assigning you some more independent studies. But we¡¯ll talk more about that then. For now, let¡¯s follow what we did yesterday. We¡¯ll dedicate the first half of the day to gathering, and then the second half to tracing. Or would you rather switch the two up?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine either way, but are we going to stay here?¡± Sam gestured around them, to the crisp and clean outside air.

    ¡°I figured you could stand to gain from some time spent outside, a small break to the monotony of being cooped up in the same room for all that time. Would you rather head indoors?¡±

    ¡°Usually I would say yes, because I do, in fact, enjoy the monotony of being cooped up in the same room for hours on end. But I suppose that with a new lease on life, one must also try out some new things. So as long as we can get the same quality of studying out here, I¡¯m willing to go along with this. Oh, just one more thing before we begin: Do you know a third year by the name of Carl Pines? The guy approached me out of nowhere this morning to tell me he was proud of me or something. Felix said that while he might have made it to level 4 rather early, that doesn¡¯t mean much cause he had to fall back in some other areas, but I¡¯m not so sure about that.¡±

    ¡°Carl? Yeah, I know him. He¡¯s one of those minor charges of mine that I mentioned.¡±

    ¡°How many minor cases do you have, anyway? How many major for that fact?¡±

    ¡°Only you four are my major cases, although perhaps you should be counted as your own category. As for students like Carl, I have about thirty, give or take, at New Point at all times, as well as another dozen or so pupils from other academies that I give advice in regards. But before you voice out your admiration for my efforts, I have to admit that I do not give these cadets the amount of attention that they might truly deserve. Or in any case, I don¡¯t give them as much attention as I have given your friends, even when there weren¡¯t any students of you four¡¯s caliber to occupy my time.

    ¡°As for Carl: he¡¯s a good kid. I¡¯m sure that he didn¡¯t mean anything bad by approaching you out of nowhere, probably didn¡¯t even consider the possibility that you were going to be bothered by that. And on that note, I¡¯ll have to tell you that you should probably begin hardening your skin right now. Because as you get more and more integrated into the academy and your life here in general, many more people will want to speak to you out of nowhere. At least until the luster of your unique circumstances fades away. But back to Carl, he did make level 4 early, yes. A month or two faster than my initial estimation for him from two years ago. True, he had to sacrifice some other areas of training in order to make it as fast as he did, but I believe that he made the right decision overall. He¡¯ll have plenty of time to get used to level 4 by the time his military training begins compared to his peers. And he has greatly increased his chances of making it to level 5 before his military posting proper.¡±

    ¡°So do you think Felix could beat him in a fight? Cause that¡¯s what it sounded like he was thinking.¡±

    ¡°Not unless he got him very drunk first. Felix might not have made any concession with his training to get to where he is now, but he still has plenty of catching up of his own to get to where a third year like Pines is.¡±

 Chapter 55

    Sam¡¯s time with Dan seemed to flow much faster than it did yesterday, the advantage of already being familiar with the subject of study. Dan decided to start the day with tracing practice, going over the same training that they did for most of yesterday, but then, after an hour or so, moving on to Sam tracing only by controlling the magic that was already in his pathways. Figuring out how to stop drawing from the core took another hour all by itself. And once that was done, he was dismayed to discover that his success yesterday in moving the magic from one point in his body to the other proved to be a fraud because without his core in action, barely any energy made it to the new destination.

    Not all was doom and gloom, though. He was able to take comfort in the fact that his skills were definitely improving, because by the time lunch came around, he was able to move much more of the energy through his body. Still a minuscule amount, but a great improvement nonetheless. After returning from lunch, they went back to Dan¡¯s office and Sam was once again trying to grab the invisible energy all around him into his body. It proved easier than it was back in the morning, probably because Sam was much more awake. And while Sam didn¡¯t practice anything new gathering-wise today, he still made plenty of mistakes with the pre-basic practice for Dan to feel honest about earning his living. The lesson went longer than usual today, as Sam didn¡¯t have anything else planned for the evening besides meeting with Sarah, so he only stepped out of the office at around eight.

    He messaged Sarah to tell her that he was finished with his lesson and she wrote back that she¡¯ll go grab them some mess hall food. As well as buy popcorn and some sweets to truly celebrate the occasion. Meanwhile, she wrote, Sam was to finish choosing a movie and set it all up so that they could begin watching it the minute she got to his room. Some time later, she was knocking on his door with her elbow, her hands otherwise occupied with the great amount of gifts that she came bearing.

    ¡°Sorry.¡± She smiled in embarrassment. ¡°I don¡¯t usually let myself eat this kind of stuff, so I got carried away a little.¡±

    Sam ushered her in and helped her set the food on the table. ¡°It¡¯s fine, just make sure to take everything we haven¡¯t eaten with you when you leave, cause I will surely get carried away more than a little if left with the temptations of them. And unlike you, I¡¯m not in great shape and have to pay much more attention to my diet.¡±

    ¡°Does that mean that you¡¯re not going to eat any of the junk food?¡± Sarah turned crestfallen.

    ¡°Hell no! As long as the movie¡¯s playing, you¡¯re going to have to pry those candies from my cold, magnificently textured hands.¡±

    ¡°Magnificently textured?¡±

    ¡°Yes. My hands are the only part of my body that I am actually proud of. I¡¯ve got the smoothest skin of the palms. Just feel it.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah, it is pretty nice. But it¡¯s almost the same as mine, I¡¯d say.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but that¡¯s because you are a Taken. I was this way even before I was changed for the better. In fact, the palm skin is probably the only thing that didn¡¯t change, being perfect as it was. Except the cold, obviously. They changed that. I used to get very cold fingers, even in warm weather. And don¡¯t even get me started on my toes. But other than that, my hands were perfect!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure of it. So what movie are we going to watch?¡±

    ¡°I ended up picking Clue. Seemed British enough.¡±

    ¡°Oh! I love clue!¡±

    ¡°OK. So we¡¯re not watching Clue.¡±

    ¡°No! C¡¯mon,.¡± She playfully shook him. ¡°I want to watch Clue. I haven¡¯t seen it in ages. Not before I was taken.¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine. We¡¯ll watch the stupid classic.¡± He started the movie and even before the first guest arrived, they were already eating and chatting.

    ¡°So how did it go with Dan?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Nothing to complain about. At least nothing that I haven¡¯t already complained about. I keep hoping for a switch to flip somewhere and signal me starting to catch up with you guys. But I guess that it¡¯s way too much to ask for after just two days.¡±

    ¡°Way too much. But you¡¯re smart, you¡¯ll figure things out in no time. And before you know it, you¡¯ll have the same knowledge base as us, just a couple of levels behind. Levels that you¡¯re going to make up eventually, anyway. So nothing to worry about, right?¡±

    ¡°Sure, nothing besides the thoughts of G.I. Jane somewhere out in the front, and she¡¯s going to die because by the time I meet up with her, I¡¯ll only be level 3 and thus not strong enough to save her.¡±

    ¡°If you think like that, then you might as well just lose all motivation outright. Because even if you were the strongest Chosen in the Web, there ain¡¯t no chance that you could save everyone.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the hope, yeah.¡±

    ¡°Sam!¡±

    ¡°You set me up for that.¡±

    ¡°You set yourself up. Stop worrying about the people who are currently fighting to maintain the front because, with or without you, most of them are going to end up just fine. And those that won¡¯t, aren¡¯t your responsibility. Focus on yourself for a change.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m only focused on myself. I don¡¯t want those people to die because it would make me feel bad. Not because I actually care about them.¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ So what did you actually do with Dan?¡±

    Sam summed up his lessons for her. ¡°All in all, it was pretty much just like yesterday. Which is pretty nice when I think about it. Not learning something new every day for a change. Not being scared by the magnitude of my meta-ignorance. What about you?¡±

    ¡°I had Intermediate Patterns after breakfast, then Medical Patterns followed by Medical Tracing after lunch. Managed to work out early, thanks to Dan keeping you long, so didn¡¯t even have to skip that.¡±

    ¡°Oh, speaking of workouts: I have spear lessons tomorrow morning and I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll be recovered enough to exercise in the evening as well. So I might have to bounce on that.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll be fine, I¡¯m sure of it.¡±

    ¡°I wish I was feeling the same amount of confidence in myself that you seem to have in me, but we¡¯ll see. I¡¯ll try not to psyche myself out of it too much. Oh, did you know that the two Rulers that are switching with Esther and that other one are apparently racists? Felix and Yvessa seemed to think that they¡¯ll probably want to meet up with me when they get here.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know them. About them. Luckily, I managed to avoid having to meet them so far. Thanks in large part to Maurice. They seem to pop up every time there¡¯s a promising young Terran going through the academies. Looking to get their claws into them, I¡¯m sure. But if you don¡¯t want to meet them, you don¡¯t have to. It¡¯s not like they can order you around. Not while you¡¯re still a cadet, at least.¡±

    ¡°Probably not even after because I already have Farris¡¯s claws deep in me. Apparently, he told everyone at his meeting with the general staff all about his new mentee.¡±

    ¡°Oooh! That¡¯s so cute! He¡¯s like your biggest fanboy.¡±

    Sam had to shudder at that. ¡°Dan said that his patronage of me might get the academy to put even more effort into me than they were planning. Which will hopefully prove to be a good outcome, if it is indeed true.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure that it is. Farris saw something special in you and you don¡¯t doubt the judgment of someone like him. Even if he turned out to be a little more capricious than I expected. Only good things can come of this. The only bad thing is that you¡¯ll probably have a lot of the teachers at your beck and call, ready to help you with anything you need, so your friends won¡¯t be your first choice when you need help with your studies.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s a bad thing, how?¡±

    Sarah shrugged. ¡°Helping your friends and being helped by them makes the both of you feel good.¡±

    On a dime, Sam decided to take the plunge. ¡°And what if your friends are already out of sorts trying to deal with their own stuff? Stuff that you can¡¯t help them with? Should you still go to them for help despite them struggling as it is? That doesn¡¯t sound to me like what you should be doing to a friend.¡±

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t think any of your friends are in such a situation, so that¡¯s a moot point. Anyway, even if you ask any of us for a whole week dedicated just to helping you out, we¡¯ll still be able to manage our own studies just fine.¡±

    ¡°Surely not all of my friends, though? Felix? Yeah, probably. He¡¯s a smart kid, will just have to take a break from ¡®dating¡¯ in order to catch up. Yvessa? Sure. She¡¯s got a got a good head on her shoulders, and a wider educational background than any of us. But all of my friends? Tsk, I¡¯m not so sure about that.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to hint that it¡¯s me that won¡¯t be able to manage helping you out?¡±

    ¡°Well, I only met one other person my age so far, and I don¡¯t consider Carl Pines my friend.¡±

    ¡°When did you meet Carl Pines?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you? It was just after I finished working out¡ªDoesn¡¯t matter, it¡¯s you we¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°What are we talking about regarding me, then?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know? How about the fact that pretty much everyone I met thinks that you¡¯ve been spreading yourself too thin with your studies? And that was before I came into the picture. God knows just how far you¡¯ve already fallen behind having to babysit me for the last week.¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯m sure god can tell you that I¡¯m doing just fine with my training. Just as I was a week ago.¡±

    ¡°Look, I¡¯m not trying to pass judgment on your decision to study every subject taught here. Sure, I don¡¯t agree with it, but what do I know? You do you. After all, for most of human history, our greatest thinkers were those that spread their knowledge and studies into many different fields. And if you want to try and be the modern day Leibniz, I¡¯m not going to stop you. Quite the opposite. I¡¯ll give you all the help I can.

    ¡°Except, you¡¯re not going to accept my help now, are you? Oh, other people are fine, I¡¯m sure. Be they friends, parental figures or actual teachers. But not me, right? Because, unlike you, I need all the help I can get, and I don¡¯t have time to waste by helping you with something. But you, on the other hand, have all the time in the world to help me. Be it as a teacher, as a friend, as a fitness-trainer, or as a personal shopper. I need your time more than you need it, so even if helping me out ends up costing you in this aspect or that, it¡¯s a worthwhile trade at the end of the day.¡±

    Sarah wasn¡¯t looking at him, pointedly staring at the screen instead. But Sam could see that her breathing had quickened, and the many kernels missed by her grasping hand told him that she was most certainly not enthralled by the movie. ¡°I really love this movie,¡± she finally said. ¡°We used to watch it at least once a year, the entire family together. Must have been more than nine years since I last saw it because Maurice wasn¡¯t a big film guy and I didn¡¯t feel like watching it alone.¡±

    Sam waited for her to continue, but as the minutes passed, he was forced to speak up once more. ¡°So are you mad that I¡¯m ruining this experience for you?¡±

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be an idiot. I¡¯m sitting with someone from back on Earth, watching one of my favorite movies and snacking to my heart¡¯s content. Nothing you might say is going to make me feel bad about tonight. Even if you spent the entire movie telling me all about your de Gaulle x Churchill fanfic.¡±

    Gasp! ¡°How do you know about those? I haven¡¯t told anyone. And I destroyed all copies that I didn¡¯t send out to the British Museum.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°See¡­ Why can¡¯t we just talk like that for the rest of the evening? Just shooting the crap like we¡¯re on a sitcom, trying to make the people at home laugh.¡±

    ¡°Because we promised to each other yesterday to have this talk? Because, hopefully, we¡¯re both going to feel better about ourselves and each other at the end of it? Because the most highly rated sitcom episodes are never the funny ones?¡±

    Another laugh, less mirthful this time. ¡°A talk. You make it sound like we¡¯re a middle-aged empty nest couple and our marriage is on the fritz.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I don¡¯t think that I ever had a talk with anyone that wasn¡¯t family before. But we are sort of family now, aren¡¯t we? Brought together due to circumstances beyond our control, with a shared history that only we can understand. It makes sense that our relationship, newly formed as it is, would be both important enough and complex enough to warrant us having to sit down and talk about it.¡±

    ¡°Ugh. What is there to talk about, even?¡±

    ¡°How about the fact that you¡¯re angry at me for worrying about how the things I say and do make you feel?¡±

    ¡°What? I¡¯m not angry at you for that.¡±

    ¡°Really? So there¡¯s nothing that you want to say to me if I told you that during yesterday¡¯s breakfast I spent a large amount of time watching what I say because I didn¡¯t want you to think that I still doubt the existence of this reality? Or that I kept thinking how awful it must be for you to feel so concerned and responsible for me all the time, and what can I do to make you stop that? Doesn¡¯t make you feel even a bit mad?¡±

    ¡°N¡­ no, no.¡±

    ¡°OK. Then I guess that means that I can just come out and say what I¡¯m thinking and fear no retribution from you, right? It¡¯s not going to make you feel mad, or sad, or like a failure, right? Nothing of that sort?¡± Sarah shrugged and took her second candy bar in a row. ¡°Great, alright then. So here it is:

    ¡°Dear Sarah, I think that you are overworrying about me, to your own detriment. Both because the time you spend with me, time that you don¡¯t necessarily have to, cuts into your already meagre study time. But mainly because I don¡¯t won¡¯t you to feel bad with yourself because of me. Which is what happened yesterday when you started worrying that I was thinking that this world wasn¡¯t real. Because you remembered that when we first met, I raised those very same doubts to you. So then you were afraid that you haven¡¯t done enough to squash those errant thoughts from my mind. Ergo, you failed in your duty towards me. And even now, you¡¯re feeling bad because you want to argue with me, but you don¡¯t want to get mad at me. You¡¯re caught between wanting to treat me with kid-gloves to wanting to explain to me why you have to treat me with kid-gloves.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Alright then, so what do you think?¡±

    ¡°I think that I am spending just the right amount of time with you. Whether it is to help you, because I want to, or because I believe that you want me to. And that while it has caused me to fall behind on some of my studies, that¡¯s nothing that I can¡¯t make up just fine. Especially since your arrival has sped up Dan¡¯s return and opened him once again for helping me.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but that¡¯s a factual argument. We can debate until tomorrow, but neither of us is going to be convinced until we see empirical evidence that the other is right. And since it¡¯s only been a week since I got here, I doubt there¡¯s much data from which we can extrapolate an answer to just how much your studies have been affected. So I¡¯m willing to concede this point. I¡¯d love it if you felt more comfortable just leaving me be when you have other things that you need to do. But I¡¯ll also admit that you have been getting better in this aspect, and that there have been times already when you opted to go to your lessons instead of spending time with me.

    ¡°But what about the other thing? How do you feel about me saying that you¡¯re all up in your head with unfounded worries about me? That you shouldn¡¯t feel this huge burden of responsibility for me? So much that me telling a stupid joke about life as a book would make you feel so bad? Because you haven¡¯t tried to argue that it didn¡¯t make you feel awful.¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± Sarah said. ¡°You¡¯re right. It did make me feel like shit. And later, hearing you say that you were worried about me and how what you said might¡¯ve affect me, made me feel even worse. Now, not only was I feeling bad because of you, I was also feeling bad because of feeling bad. But so what?! Why is that such a bad thing? You joke around all the time about how you feel like shit and I¡¯m pretty fucking sure that no matter how bad I¡¯m feeling due to worrying about you, you still felt worse. Because obviously you are. I¡¯ve been where you are right now and I know what you¡¯re going through. So what¡¯s so bad about having me constantly worried about you? That¡¯s my choice. That¡¯s what¡¯s going to make me happy at the end of the day. And in ten years, I won¡¯t remember anything about feeling bad from worry, but you might positively remember something that I did because I was feeling that way. Isn¡¯t that a worthy trade?¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°Fuck no. First of all, utilitarianism of happiness doesn¡¯t work like that. It¡¯s not how you feel in ten years¡¯ time, it¡¯s how you feel all throughout your life that should count. It¡¯s like that goddamn stupid time value of money thing: happiness has an effect both in the present and in your future, but your happiness in the present counts more than it does in the future. So if you want to maximize happiness, you need to prioritize happiness in the present over happiness in the future if they are equal in amount. Second of all, utilitarianism is stupid. You can¡¯t measure happiness. And lastly, you can¡¯t be sure about any of the conjectures that you¡¯ve made. What if I actually suffer as a result of your behavior, not because of your actions, of course, but due to feeling bad for you? Or what if you don¡¯t forget how you feel nowadays? Who¡¯s to say that this won¡¯t develop into some sort of obsession for you, and that you won¡¯t always be wondering if you could have done more to help me out?¡±

    ¡°So what you¡¯re saying I should do is just stop giving a crap about you, then? ¡®Oh, here¡¯s Sam, the only person who knows what I went through, and that I can comfortably hold a conversation with because we¡¯re the same age. I wonder how he¡¯s dealing with it all? You know what? On second thought, I don¡¯t really care. Worrying about another human being will just make me sad. Better yet, just go back to training.¡¯ Do you realize how stupid that sounds?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean that you need to go that far. But there¡¯s plenty of room to maneuver between not giving a shit about a person, especially a person who you deeply want to care about. And being so stressed about that person¡¯s wellbeing that you start worrying that you¡¯ve majorly fucked up helping him adjust because he made a stupid joke.¡± He sighed. ¡°I just wish that you would act a little more rational when it comes to me; Yes, you¡¯re not treating me like you would Felix, or Yvessa, or any other person. That¡¯s OK, I understand it, and it makes total sense. But you¡¯re also not treating me as you¡¯re treating yourself, despite us going through the same thing.¡±

    ¡°Rational? Nothing about what we¡¯re going through is rational! We¡¯re living a hundred years in the future. Earth is destroyed and magic is real. Nothing about any of this makes any amount of sense, so why should I? But you¡¯re wrong anyway. Because I do treat you rationally. You just don¡¯t realize it, because you see our current positions as equal. But they aren¡¯t. Because I¡¯m eight years removed from being where you are. Of course I¡¯m not treating myself with the same care that I do you, and that doesn¡¯t have anything to do about how mentally strong I am. Quite the opposite I think that you are much stronger than you think you are, than you think I am.

    ¡°So even if you¡¯re right, even if I¡¯m hurting myself by worrying about you all the time, and spending all this time on and with you. I¡¯m fine with that. I¡¯m happy feeling like shit for this whole year. Fuck it, even having to repeat this entire year somehow despite it not being realistic at all. Because no matter how bad I will be feeling when it¡¯s over, you¡¯re still going to be feeling worse than me. So ¡®worst-case scenario¡¯ for me: we¡¯ll be equal, starting from the same position of knowledge and advantages in the second year of the academy, with both of us having acclimated to our new life the same amount. But there¡¯s not a chance in hell that we could actually be equal now, is there? Because I¡¯ll still be higher level than you. I¡¯ll still know more than you. And I¡¯ll still be happier and better adjusted because I spent nine years living here and you have just spent one.

    ¡°And what really gets me is you saying that I¡¯m not treating you rationally! My entire way of thinking about you is rationality personified. You¡¯re like a formula to me. I¡¯m just trying to do, and to say, and to be the person that I believe would make you happiest and would make the worst period in your life pass a little faster and easier. Because I know exactly how you feel, I know exactly what you¡¯re going through. Not because I¡¯m going through it now, but because I went through it when I was only twelve-fucking-years-old! I had eight bloody years to think about what I went through, to compute whatever made me happy and what made me sad, and to understand how I would have instead wanted to be treated.

    ¡°But sure, there is a difference between you and me. I was younger, for better or worse. And I was much happier with the life I had before. I didn¡¯t have the fact that I could walk again, dampening the sadness that the death of everyone and everything I ever knew made me feel. But I also wasn¡¯t thrust straight into the thick of it and forced myself to catch up with people who have had a whole three years and a lifetime to be where they are now ahead of me. I didn¡¯t have that voice in my head that said that once the magic in it runs out, everything was going to go to shit. Afraid, unjustifiably so in your case might I add, that once it¡¯s gone, I won¡¯t be able to keep going. Because I lived my whole life with depression and anxiety and a million other things and there¡¯s no way that I¡¯m mentally healthy enough to deal with the cards I¡¯ve been dealt.

    ¡°Everything¡­ everything that I¡¯m trying to do, is because I want you to get out of the other side of dealing with all this shit feeling better than I did. And it doesn¡¯t matter who had it worse because I know it¡¯s you, same way that I know that you¡¯ll say it¡¯s me. I just want to do this my way, for once in this fucking second life, to really follow my heart when it¡¯s telling me exactly what to do. I just want¡­ I just want you to be happy because if in a year you end up feeling like I did after a year¡­ That would be the second worst thing that happened in my life.¡±

    Then she couldn¡¯t hold herself back anymore. She tried hiding it from Sam, turning her head away and stuffing her mouth with popcorn. But she was crying. She was crying. Now I¡¯ve fucking done it. Had to push her, didn¡¯t I? Fucking asshole. Now what? Of course, there was only one thing that Sam could do. He was Sam Anders, after all. His head worked in mysterious fucking ways. And right now it was just echoing the same thing over and over again, driving all other thoughts away. But while his mind could have made it into the textbook for a prime example of social-incompetence, he still wasn¡¯t a complete idiot. Or rather, no matter how big of an idiot he was, he was still driven by an innate want to be a good person, the need to make other people happy.

    So he decided to trust in his instincts, and let the sentence thundering through his synapses finally slip from his mouth. ¡°Sarah.¡± He laid his hand on her hair, smoothing it out a bit before moving his hand to her shoulder furthest from him, holding her in a hug. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry, but you¡¯ve fucked up. You¡¯ve used both the rational brain and the emotional heart to explain your behavior, but they cancel each other out. I know it sucks to hear, but that¡¯s a cardinal mistake in your logic, which invalidates your entire argument. I¡¯m gonna have to go and strike that from the record.¡±

    Sarah laughed, leaning against him while trying to wipe out her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. ¡°You¡¯re an asshole, you know that?¡± She leaned closer and shut her eyes. ¡°Just a stupid asshole. Can¡¯t believe that I care what happens to you. Ha!¡±

    Sam hugged her tighter, grabbing some of the nearby tissues to give her. ¡°Have you tried being an asshole yourself? Don¡¯t knock it till you try it. It¡¯s great. I can make the people I care about cry, and I don¡¯t feel a damn thing. Better yet, those people are crying because they care about me so damn much. Of course, it¡¯ll still be a couple of years until you¡¯ll be able to master being as good as a loveable scamp as I am. But until then, you¡¯ll be able to enjoy all the benefits that being an asshole guarantees you. Callused feelings being just the first of the bunch. There¡¯s viewing people only as a means to an end. There¡¯s plenty of time to be gained in plenty of different fields, such as pet-owning or bus-riding. There¡¯s¡ª¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine. I get it. I can¡¯t promise to be a full asshole like you, but I¡¯ll try to be just a little bit more.¡±

    ¡°Of course you will. You have to. I won the debate.¡±

    ¡°Careful now.¡± She smiled while untethering herself from him. ¡°Don¡¯t forget that just because I didn¡¯t threaten you with the use of physical violence like I did to Felix and Yvessa, that doesn¡¯t mean that I won¡¯t do it if that¡¯s what it takes for you to do things my way.¡±

    ¡°No threat of violence? What about all those pinches? And where does running me through a physical gauntlet every single day enter into the mix?¡±

    ¡°One and all, an expression of love.¡±

    ¡°Gee. I wouldn¡¯t want to be your spouse on your wedding night.¡±

    She gently squeezed him on the arm. ¡°What¡¯s the deal with riding the bus, though? I didn¡¯t get that one.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a whole thing that I have against people who talk on the bus. Let¡¯s not get into it right now. Let¡¯s talk about something else. Would you rather have Tim Curry as your dad or as your grandpa?¡±

    ¡°Boyfriend.¡±

    ¡°OK then. Would you rather date your dad or your grandpa? It¡¯s Tim Curry remember.¡±

    ¡°No comment. Pause the movie will you? I want to go wash my face.¡±

    She came back less than a minute later and they quickly settled back to watch the movie. Only a third remained at that point, and they spent it on Earth small talk. Their favorite movies, books, shows and music. At least Sarah did. Sam was more than satisfied with letting her take all the speaking roles during that conversation. She told him how much she loved riding the bicycle with her sister and mother, and was just in the middle of making fun of him for not knowing how to ride the bike when the credits started to roll.

    Sarah sighed and slapped her legs. ¡°I guess this is it then. It¡¯s getting pretty late and you need to be ready for tomorrow, after all.¡±

    Sam held his hand up. ¡°Now wait just a moment, indulge me you if you will. I was afraid this was going to happen. So I did, in fact, prepare for us another audio-visual piece of entertainment. Starring Tim Curry of course¡ª¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not watching Rocky Horror¡ª¡±

    ¡°Hush now Sarah! He has other movies, you know? Now, what you need to remember before we start watching: Is that this was made back when it was widely believed that only men want to play video games. So objectifying the actresses was purely a business decision, not an artistic one, and should not count against these magnificent pieces of alt-history narrative. Question, do you consider space the final frontier? That is, the sole bastion that remains free from the corrupting reach of capitalism?¡±

 Chapter 56

    Sam woke up feeling happy and refreshed. It seemed his body was served just as good as his mind was by the indulgent consumption of Terran pop-culture from yesterday. Sarah most certainly had fun. Even the passing of a hundred years hadn¡¯t managed to produce a quality substitute for Tim Curry. And Sam never doubted for a moment that live-action video game cinematics hadn¡¯t surpassed their past glory.

    They parted last night without bringing up again the topic that brought them there in the first place (if you discount the flimsy excuse that was celebrating his one week ¡°anniversary¡±), even though Sam was sure that they both had something left to say to one another. But they both clearly felt that the majority of what needed to be said, had been said. Each driving their point across to the other party. Sarah, he assumed, was still dissatisfied by the fact that Sam dared to care about her caring about him. And Sam, for his part, decided to forgo his whole spiel about how Sarah was actually trying to make herself feel better about her own trauma in the past by prioritizing Sam¡¯s in the present. Even if he was right, there was nothing to be gained by saying that. Sarah would be better served figuring it out by herself, or with her therapist (that she hadn¡¯t had time to meet yet, since Sam came into play). And it would only make her feel bad if she thought that he was suspicious of her motives for helping him. Because he wasn¡¯t. He was happy for the help. He just wished that it didn¡¯t come with extra emotional baggage for Sarah, not to mention the possible cost to her own future.

    Still, they both came to better understand the other¡¯s point of view yesterday. Sam was going to try and care less about Sarah worrying about him. That was her choice after all, and she wouldn¡¯t want him to try and act based on how she feels. And Sarah, he believed, was going to try and be a bit more hands off with him than she was up till now, both in her mind and in practice. He already found proof of that by her not making any plans with him for breakfast, just saying that they¡¯ll meet up for dinner before working out. And that was yesterday. There weren¡¯t any morning texts reminding him about dinner, although he assumed that those would come later in the day. People don¡¯t change that fast after all. Nor should they.

    Besides, was there really something that bad about an affirmation text for a planned meet-up? That was just good manners, wasn¡¯t it? Sensible planning. People are fallible, they forget things, make mistakes. Just like he was doing right now, when he realized that he forgot to apply toothpaste to the brush.

    He spent the rest of the previous day reading his elven history textbook. He dedicated some time to practice gathering before bed. And made sure to differentiate it by a couple of minutes from his post shower meditation. Those two might look the same, but they functioned very differently, and it was important to make a cognitive distinction between them. It was only when he was firmly snuggled underneath the blanket that he realized that Web-Web hadn¡¯t made contact with him, like he did on every other day up till then. Amazingly, errant thoughts about the missing appointment didn¡¯t trouble his mind too much, and he managed to fall asleep as fast as what was becoming the norm.

    Eight and some hours later, Sam was once again free to let his thoughts wonder, having finished all of his morning obligations, and the question of the AI came to his mind once again. ¡°Web-Web, you alright in there?¡± he asked out loud. ¡°Give me one seizure for yes, two for now. You know what strike that, mix that up so that the good will be in with the bad and vice versa. Nothing? Well, OK¡­ You¡¯ll contact me if there¡¯s a reason for it, right? You¡¯re just not speaking right now because there¡¯s nothing to talk about. That¡¯s what I was thinking. You¡¯ve already driven the plot pretty far ahead, no reason to waste energy on staying in place.¡±

    Worries once again pushed deep down. He started cultivating for the short time remaining to him before he had to set out if he wanted to make it in time for his private lesson. A couple of minutes later, he was waiting for Lin inside the same room from last time, doing some light warm-ups to pass the time. Hopefully, the fact that he was felling pretty light on his feet and free in his body, despite the heavy training regimen he was undergoing, meant that he would still be able to attend that evening workout as well.

    He was in the midst of a fierce battle between his want to have high expectations for himself, in order to not give him an out too easily, and his need to keep low expectations, in order to protect his value of himself, when the door opened. Lin walked in, carrying the four training spears from last time.

    ¡°Good morning Mr Anders. And how are you today?¡± Lin asked. ¡°It¡¯s been a good couple of days, I hope?¡±

    ¡°Pretty good, I think. Should have squared up on enough of the basic knowledge to understand your rules about not training with magic.¡±

    ¡°And what would those be?¡±

    ¡°Well, no tracing, that¡¯s much clear at least. And I¡¯m assuming some level of no patterns. None conscious, certainly, but I¡¯m guessing that there¡¯s a bit more leeway concerning sustained patterns.¡±

    ¡°As long as they don¡¯t help improve your physical capabilities, they¡¯re fine. You forgot about no gathering, though.¡±

    ¡°Gathering? Why would I be gathering in the middle of a fight¡ªOh, right. Never mind.¡±

    ¡°Yes. Gathering is an essential part of magical combat, but it has no place in lessons that are supposed to be purely physical. We will have plenty of time to train you in the aspects of magical combat after you master the basics.¡±

    ¡°We will? I thought that you still weren¡¯t sure about teaching me anything beyond the basics.¡±

    Lin cleared his throat, shying away from Sam¡¯s questioning gaze. ¡°Yes, well, let¡¯s just say I¡¯ve had a change of mind concerning that. Ritter has been most persuasive in his arguments regarding your potential. So I have decided that I should take a greater part in the training of someone who is very likely one of the republic¡¯s future Rulers.¡±

    ¡°You heard that Farris declared himself my mentor, didn¡¯t you? I didn¡¯t know they lifted the gag order in the matter.¡±

    Lin lowered his head, his cheeks reddening ever so slightly. ¡°I didn¡¯t even know there was one. General Ninae called me himself and told me about becoming your mentor. He said, and I quote: ¡®If you¡¯re not feeling comfortable training my precious mentee in the spear on your own, I am more than happy to send one of my many available instructors who are talented in the form.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Yikes.¡± Sam laughed.

    ¡°Indeed. The only thing worse than being known as the person who was thought to be unfit to train a would be Ruler, is being known as the person who proved to be unfit. And I assure you, I do not plan to be, nor am I going to prove, unfit as your teacher.¡± He cleared his throat once more. ¡°Besides, the general¡­ he promised me his own personal attention and aid. Both as a spearfighter and for reaching level 10.¡±

    ¡°So he bribed you. That¡¯s awesome.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not really a bribe. More of a¡­ reallocation of resources. Or a promised bonus in the case of a job well done.¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t get me wrong, I¡¯m not judging. I already had this talk with Dan yesterday and I get why you did what you did. At the end of the day, I still think that it¡¯s a bribe, or at least close to it. But it¡¯s a well-intentioned one. Like bribing the regiment¡¯s logistics officer in order to get your company some more meat in the next shipment. It¡¯s all for a good cause. And the logistics officer can¡¯t just give every unit that wants it more meat, so the best way for him to know which unit really needs it is to see who¡¯s willing to pay for it. There¡¯s a term in economics for that¡­ Tsk, don¡¯t remember it right now, though.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s quite alright. We have plenty of terms of our own to be going through. One last thing before we begin today¡¯s lesson. I¡¯ve yet to finalize this plan with Dan, but I believe that he will give the go ahead. Since you and I are both determined to make you the best spearfighter you can be as fast as possible. I thought it appropriate to schedule us for three times a week. All in the morning before breakfast, at least while you still have those open for you. Am I correct that such is the case today and every other odd day?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Those are for cardio, and it¡¯s during the evening. At least until I can work out twice in the day, like you said.¡±

    ¡°Very well. And I assume you would prefer your third lesson of the week to not be on Saturday?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s up to you. I don¡¯t really care. I¡¯m planning to use Saturday for training as well.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ That is admirable. Very well, I will endeavor to help you in this regard. We¡¯ll skip meeting on Sunday in favor of Saturday. If you do find out, however, that such an undertaking is becoming too heavy on your shoulders, let me know and we¡¯ll change it around.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, will do. But are you sure that you want to spend your Saturday mornings working?¡±

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    ¡°I would much rather be spending them fighting. You are right about that. But I have promised to take my position as an instructor here seriously. Worry not. I spend every second Saturday teaching free-for-all classes anyway. And even when I¡¯m not, I usually spend the day here in the academy. Now, are there any other questions, or can we begin today¡¯s lesson?¡±

    ¡°No sir.¡±

    ¡°Very well. Then just like last time, we¡¯ll begin with a body-scan. I¡¯ll guide you. In the future, I would want you to take the lead yourself, so pay attention to what I¡¯m saying.¡± A short session of meditation later, they began their training for the day.

    Lin had him run laps around the room and perform a stabbing motion with only his arms for warm-up before handing him the practice spear and having him go through what they went over last time. This session of training passed much more easily than the previous one. Sam was both able to retain the information he was taught to a greater extent while also feeling the strain of the training to a lesser degree. Although to be fair, and to take some of the credit away from Sam, he was pretty sure that Lin was going easier on him today.

    They finished the lesson with sparring. Or what went for sparring when you had a newbie like Sam on deck. Describing it visually, it was pretty much just Lin moving around and Sam trying to stab him. Only the latter half of the ¡°sparring¡± session included Lin wielding a spear of his own and only the last quarter of that included using the weighted spears. A fact that Sam would remain thankful of for the rest of the day whenever he had to lift anything heavier than his phone.

    Lin had good words for him at the end of the lesson, which Sam hoped were genuine and not empty praise. He wasn¡¯t too worried, though. While Lin did indeed take a bribe (or some form of it), he didn¡¯t seem like the person who would betray his convictions so easily. And Sam was pretty sure Lin¡¯s convictions included being a good teacher and not fawning over pupils just because they were well connected.

    His good mood was cut short, however, by being confronted with the unknown once he finished showering and left the gym. The time was now even later than it usually was when he went for breakfast. So by all accounts, he ought to have grabbed a quick bite and made his way to Dan¡¯s office in order to make the most of the day.

    But he was struck still by indecision. Despite his many prior claims that it was no skin off his shoulders to do so, he had never actually gone to eat all by himself since returning. It¡¯s not like that was such a big deal. He went to eat plenty of times all by himself. In fact, if you count his feeling of alienation and emotional distance from the people around him as being alone, then he ate most of his meals in life alone. Of course, if you dropped the edge and looked at the last couple of months realistically, then you would realize that the last time that Sam truly ate alone was before the accident. You can¡¯t really call someone coming with a cart and giving you food as eating alone, even when you were the only one left in the room. And the question of what counts as eating alone didn¡¯t even matter all that much, because it was going out to eat alone that Sam was now confronted with. And he sure as fuck wasn¡¯t going anywhere back in the hospital.

    To be fair, though, the whole discussion was an empty one anyway. Sam had already finished donning his headphones and started walking towards the nearest mess hall while having the back and forth in his head. Independence was much too wonderful a feeling to let it get bogged down by worrying about other people¡¯s perception of him. And he didn¡¯t have nearly enough time in the day to waste any of it by forcing his schedule to align with someone else¡¯s.

    Still, acting like he wasn¡¯t bothered by being alone and truly being unbothered were two different things. Sam always had a spot of trouble with the prospect of going some place communal and sitting down to eat by himself. Something about seeing all the other happy, shiny people lunching together while you tried to find an empty sit out of the way. Of course, perhaps he should be counting himself among their number as of today. That was a change of pace: Sam Anders, popular to dine with.

    One thing was surely different, though. He wasn¡¯t going to take his headphones off this time, no sir. If there was no one to talk to, and no reason to listen to your surroundings, then there was also no reason not to shut yourself off to the outside world and have music supply the constant distraction that your mind craved. Yes, he was a new man. A braver man. And may social conventions that don¡¯t truly exist and only matter in Sam¡¯s head be damned. He wasn¡¯t going to let himself dictate his way of living anymore. No one was going to¡ª

    ¡°Heya Sam,¡± came a voice from behind him, accompanied by a tap on his shoulder that made Sam¡¯s heart jump out of his chest. Not to be undone by its containing body, which did a half-pirouette with arms flailing wildly.

    ¡°Jesus Christ!¡± Sam let out a very heavy breath once he calmed himself down. It took him another second to recognize to person now standing before him, owing to the fact that they had only met yesterday and talked for only a single minute.

    ¡°Oh. Sorry about that,¡± said Carl Pines. ¡°Didn¡¯t realize you were so engrossed. Didn¡¯t mean to surprise you or anything, honest.¡±

    Sam, who was still heaving, raised two fingers to the man¡¯s face. ¡°That makes two. That¡¯s two times that you ambushed me out of nowhere and almost gave me a heart attack.¡±

    ¡°Gee, I¡¯m sorry. I really didn¡¯t mean anything bad by it. Just wanted to say hello. Both times. But I understand how that it might feel like I came out of nowhere. I do tend to tread lightly, if you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°That you like to sneak up on people?¡± Sam shook his head.

    ¡°Oh. No, no. Well yes, I suppose. But no. I meant to say that I¡¯m training in stealth, for covert operations and the like. Silent movement, sound suppressing and sight dimming patterns. You know the sort.¡±

    ¡°No I don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ Of course you wouldn¡¯t. Sorry again about that. Although it is weird because I didn¡¯t have any of those patterns active¡­ Never mind that. Are you heading for breakfast?¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes at the gentle smile of the man more than a head taller than him. ¡°Yes. Why?¡±

    ¡°Me too! Why don¡¯t we go together then? We¡¯re heading to the same place, after all.¡±

    ¡°Because we don¡¯t know each other and it¡¯s weird.¡±

    ¡°Nonsense. We might be relative strangers, but we are still both part of the academy, future comrades-in-arms. There¡¯s no reason why any of us should feel uncomfortable eating together. And that goes to all cadets, in my opinion. We are, after all, the bedrock on which the Terran military will depend upon soon enough. We should all aim to be friendly with each other.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ no. Being friendly is thanking someone for holding the door open for you or letting them cut in line because you have a big purchase and they only have two loaves of bread. What you¡¯re talking about is being friends. And that¡¯s just a no go for me, I¡¯m afraid. I only have a small quota of people I can tolerate enough to not act like an ass in front of, ergo only a small number of people who might stand being friends with me. And I¡¯ve already made a bunch of Terran friends so that I am seriously taking the risk of running out of space for social connection. Which might leave me friendless with another race in the future, which in turn would make me unable to defend against accusations of racism. So that¡¯s a no on us being friends.¡±

    Carl laughed, and his earnest go at it made Sam think that he wasn¡¯t taking what Sam said seriously. ¡°I¡¯m half-Imperial on my mother¡¯s side. Is that good enough for us to be half-friends?¡±

    ¡°That depends. Does Terran on Imperial racism and vice versa exist?¡±

    ¡°It does unfortunately.¡±

    ¡°Then it¡¯s good enough for you to at least get your foot in the door.¡± Sam replied while turning away from him, resuming his walk towards the mess hall. Still, he wasn¡¯t fully committed to his anti-social act; his headphones, which had come off once the conversation began, were still resting upon his neck. ¡°Dare I ask why you¡¯re so interested in being my friend?¡± Sam asked the man who was now walking right beside him, his footsteps truly somewhat muted.

    ¡°I want to be friends with almost every person I meet. It¡¯s a character flaw the military hadn¡¯t been able to beat out of me quite yet.¡±

    Sam chortled, even though he wasn¡¯t sure that Carl meant what he said as a joke. ¡°There¡¯s what? A couple thousand pupils here? You try to make friends with each and everyone of them?¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. Not everyone. Those that I happen to meet regularly, certainly. Those whose name I know and I want to talk with them, that¡¯s you, very likely. But if it eases you, may I point out the obvious ulterior motive in me seeking you out for a friend? You might be my CO in the not too distant future. It could pay off for you to have fond memories of me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry to disappoint you, but choosing to talk with me out of nowhere is not the way to make me have fond memories of you. Besides, Felix, Yvessa or Sarah are just as likely to be your bosses in the future as me, no? Or at least equal comrades. Why not try to make friends with them as well?¡±

    Carl scratched his chin sheepishly. ¡°Well, if you must know. The real reason that I came to talk with you is because I worried that you were feeling lonely due to being by yourself. And I didn¡¯t like the idea of a Taken like you feeling even lonelier than they had to. That¡¯s today. Yesterday, I really did want to tell you good luck and show my admiration.¡±

    Sam opened his mouth, but no words came out. He was conflicted between choosing to make fun of Carl, which would lead to making fun of himself. Or thanking Carl for showing consideration for a complete stranger such as him. If only there was someway to combine the two¡ªHe cleared his throat to clear his mind. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ very nice, I suppose. Very kind of you and so on. Very weird, at least by my people-hating standard, but kind nonetheless. But it¡¯s completely unnecessary, I am actually much more comfortable keeping to myself than to other¡¯s company. It¡¯s my natural state of being, as it were. Besides, it was only to and from breakfast that I was going to spend with no company.¡±

    ¡°I understand. Still, if you would like, or if you wouldn¡¯t dislike it, I¡¯d be more than happy to keep you company. Even for such a short while.¡±

    Sam raised his hands. ¡°I can¡¯t stop you from following me. Nor can I stop you from taking a sit next to me. I could start making a scene like a four-year-old when they¡¯re told no at a supermarket, though. I¡¯m pretty proficient at that; way more than four years of experience.¡±

    ¡°Is that a yes or a no?¡±

    ¡°Who knows¡­ who knows,¡± Sam said while grabbing a tray and making a beeline for that really good salad that he liked. Carl did end up joining him once he sat down. ¡°Still here, huh?¡±

    ¡°Like you said, it would take a scene to drive me away. I¡¯m can be pretty determined once I set my mind to something.¡±

    ¡°Fine then, have it your way. But you¡¯ll have to pay for the privilege of eating with me. I think giving me some exposition on the Empire should be a fair due. You are only here due to your heritage, after all.¡± And that¡¯s what Carl did. And he seemed glad to do so. Spending most of the breakfast talking rather than eating, although that didn¡¯t stop him from making up for time by almost inhaling his food between bouts of the one sided conversation. Sam managed to learn quite a fair amount about the nation and people to which Carl¡¯s mother belonged. None of it was enough to supplement any actual studying that he was going to have to do in the future. But it was enough to stop him from imagining the polity known as the Pyllan Empire as a Warhammer ripoff. He still wasn¡¯t sure what the Pyllan Empire was a ripoff of, but he was leaning towards China by the time breakfast ended.

 Chapter 57

    Sam bid goodbye to Carl Pines and prayed against hope that they won¡¯t meet again anytime soon. His heart could only take so much. And while Carl proved to be a nice enough bloke, acting so open and courteous with the plebs could only lead to trouble in the long run. Besides, weren¡¯t three¡ªhopefully close¡ªfriends more than enough for a person with as stunted a social grace as Sam? Did he really need to spend energy on fostering more relationships than he already had? Especially with third years like Carl, who weren¡¯t going to make an appearance once the year ends.

    It¡¯s like the famous saying goes: Better to make sure that you don¡¯t shit on the three apples in your hand than climb up the three and risk shitting on all the apples. And speaking of apples¡­ Haven¡¯t had one for the longest time. Will have to keep a lookout next time I¡¯m at the fruit stand. They¡¯re probably not extinct.

    He quickly made his way to Dan¡¯s office, and once inside, settled down once again with the glass of cold water to contrast Dan¡¯s steaming cup of tea. ¡°How was your morning session with Lin?¡± Dan asked.

    ¡°As good as can be, I suppose. Considering he has to teach me how to fight from scratch and I¡¯m well below the level of physical fitness he¡¯s used to working with. Managed to avoid stabbing myself, so that¡¯s a plus.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll find yourself up to snuff in no time, have no worries. Did he finalize a weekly schedule with you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Three days a week, at morning before breakfast. At least while I¡¯m not working out two times a day. That¡¯s fine with your own schedule, I hope?¡±

    ¡°Quite fine. A load off my mind, if you will. And with that, I believe that your daily schedule for the next three months has finished taking shape.¡±

    ¡°Oh? What¡¯s it like, studying from dawn till dusk and maintaining an unhealthy sleep regimen?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve made up my mind to fully take up the mantle of your personal tutor for this year, and possibly the for parts of the following. This will include instructions on every topic that I deem too essential or difficult for you to study on your own. Luckily for us, there are no such subjects on the first-year curriculum that I feel less than adequate in being your teacher. This statement of mine might be less bold once we move on to the myriad of second and third year subjects. But hopefully by then you will have sufficient knowledge base to integrate with the student body at large. Provided we are still aiming for you to start at year two.¡±

    ¡°That is still the plan, yes. Is your schedule compatible with it?¡±

    ¡°It is certainly not incompatible. I feel confident in saying that whether you make it in time will depend solely on you.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all I¡¯m asking. So what are we studying together and what do I study alone?¡±

    ¡°Some of that will depend on you and on how you find the material. But I will surely be instructing you in: Magical theory, which, at the basic level that is required of you, is not as hard as it sounds, but it¡¯s best to make sure that you have no shortcoming in this subject. Tracing, gathering and patterns, as we¡¯ve already begun. Sculpting, once you hit level one, we¡¯ll dedicate some time to as well. Not just the basics before it splits off with imprinting, but nothing more than two or three weeks of study. But that¡¯s next year, most likely; same as imprinting. And muddling, which is not an actual course, but rather a series of individual sessions aimed at helping cadets with the process. Epirak study, of course. And perhaps some theoretical instruction in personal combat and battle tactics, we¡¯ll see. Anything else, you¡¯ll hopefully be able to study on your own, and I, or another teacher, will provide only supplementary help. If you manage our own lessons together well, your own studies, and your training with Lin, then you should be covered in everything major that a second year needs to know.¡±

    ¡°What are my chances of doing that in your mind? And be honest.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a tough question to answer when you¡¯re not going to believe me if I give you good chances. But you are going to if I give you bad chances, which would only help in demoralizing you.¡±

    ¡°No. You should have answered, ¡®one-hundred percent, Sam.¡¯ None of that of pointing out my of my flaws bit, thank you very much. Yeah, I wouldn¡¯t have believed you, but that would have left me no worse off that I am now. That¡¯s what we in the biz call Pareto Efficiency.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what Pareto Efficiency means.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not. But if you squint really hard, then it¡¯s similar enough. Anyway, one-hundred percent, right? Great. Let¡¯s get on with today¡¯s lesson, then.¡±

    Dan held his hand up. ¡°Just a minute. I haven¡¯t finished yet. My plan is that we keep the routine that we¡¯ve already begun to establish. Meeting every weekday after you have had breakfast until we break for lunch, and then back until dinner, more or less. In the event that I am not able to be present for our lessons, I will try to find you a suitable teacher in my stead to cover the day¡¯s lessons. This shouldn¡¯t prove to hard, but if I am unable to do so, then you will use that time for you independent studying instead. I don¡¯t want to hear that because I was away; Sarah had to skip one of her classes to teach you.¡±

    Sam rolled his eyes. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to ask her for help.¡±

    ¡°I know you weren¡¯t. And now, Sarah has no excuse if she wants to cut class in order to help you.¡±

    ¡°Gotcha. And what about the stuff that I¡¯ll be studying on my own?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll accompany you back to your room after we finish today¡¯s lessons and we¡¯ll go over all the books and under which subjects they fall under. I¡¯ve already sent you my proposed lesson plan for what to learn each day for the next three months. Not including Saturdays, of course. That¡¯s your day off.¡±

    ¡°Imagine that I don¡¯t want to take Saturday off. Should I just skip ahead to Sunday¡¯s materials instead?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s up to you. You won¡¯t find me advocating for you to spend every day of the week studying and training. I¡¯m legally not allowed to do so.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no way that¡¯s true.¡±

    ¡°Feel free to check it on your rest day. Again, I¡¯m not allowed to tell you what to do on that day.¡±

    ¡°Than what about my session with Lin?¡±

    ¡°That falls under the exemption that allows the academy to hold free-for-all combat classes on Saturday. And if you told him that you don¡¯t want to train on Saturday, then that would have been that.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no way that no students spend their Saturday¡¯s studying.¡±

    ¡°What the academy¡¯s pupils do on their own time is none of the academy¡¯s business, so long as they aren¡¯t breaking any laws, military or otherwise.¡±

    ¡°Oh, now I get it. It¡¯s along the same lines of the military giving you an assignment before bed that¡¯s due tomorrow. You were given your six hours of sleep¡ªor how many that they have to give you¡ªso it¡¯s not their fault that you used that time to complete your assignment instead. In other words, what you¡¯re saying is that I¡¯m free to do fuck all on Saturdays the same way I¡¯m free to repeat the first year.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not saying anything of the sort. Plenty of cadets use their day off solely for leisure. What I am willing to say, is that I¡¯m glad you are finally beginning to have more confidence in yourself and your abilities.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± Sam squinted. ¡°How the hell did you infer that from anything that I said?¡±

    ¡°Because you seemed so sure of the fact that you will be able to keep up with the daily schedule for independent studying that I prepared for you. So much that you even considered using your day off to skip ahead. That¡¯s very ambitious of you, if I might say so.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ Ha, ha. You know, you could have just come out and said that I¡¯ll have to use Saturdays to make up for what I didn¡¯t manage to cover. There¡¯s no one else here. And even if there were, it¡¯s not like they were going to do something to you.¡±

    ¡°Sam! I¡¯m astonished. I expected more of you. Is fear of a reprisal the only reason for a person to be lawful in your opinion? Is adhering to the law not the right thing to do by itself? What would Socrates think of you?¡±

    ¡°Wow¡­ bringing up old Criton himself. Very nice. Do you want my rebuttal to be directed the flimsiness of the social contract that you¡¯ve forced upon me or do you want me to focus just on the question of lawfulness as justice? I can do both, but I¡¯ll have way more fun with the first one.¡±

    ¡°I think that it¡¯s high time we¡¯ve returned to our lessons. But feel free to write me your objection in your time off. Say on Saturday maybe?¡±

    Sam barked a laugh. ¡°You know¡­ Ever since you¡¯ve finished my schedule, all ten minutes ago, you¡¯ve been way less uptight with me than before. Change back please.¡±

    ¡°I want to us to start moving on from the basics by the week after the next. Actual gathering techniques, more complicated tracing, those sorts of things. Now, in my opinion, we should start today with tracing as well. Saves me having to refill you at the end of the day.¡±

    ¡°Yep. The old you was definitely better,¡± Sam muttered, but his heart wasn¡¯t really in it. He was happy for Dan, who was finally freed from the constant anxiety he had when he was busy preparing a plan that would allow Sam to move on to year two. And yes, it didn¡¯t make much sense that Dan was more relaxed being the one completely in charge of Sam¡¯s education rather than just the one who was making plans for Sam¡¯s education. But that¡¯s what people are like. They don¡¯t make sense. Except for Sam, of course. Sam made sense. It¡¯s just that sometimes the sense that he made wasn¡¯t rational in the least. But no one¡¯s perfect. No one but a certain general¡¯s niece, at least. A statement that he was already sure was going to become the butt of many a joke uttered in her best friend¡¯s vicinity.

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Sam spent the rest of the morning following Dan¡¯s instructions on tracing. It was still very much the same thing that they did yesterday and the day before that, but at least he was getting better at it. So that was something, right? Now, how many days until he was as good as a sixteen-year-old?

    Tracing practice was soon over with and they parted ways for lunch. Dan apparently had something that he needed to do, so that left Sam alone once again with the task of securing sustenance for himself. Luckily, this time, he was left unattended all throughout the meal and the path to it and back. Which unfortunately meant that he would have one less complainant to make to his friends once he met up with them for dinner.

    Back from lunch, he had to wait a couple more minutes for Dan to return from whatever it was that occupied him. Wasted time that he only dithered on for two minutes before deciding to use to practice gathering. Some successful cycles later, he heard the office door opening and opened his eyes once he heard the thump of the cup on the desk.

    Soon, they were once again engaged in the lesson. Although it was even less of a lesson than tracing was. Dan just having him repeat the same exact exercises from yesterday. Sam finished the session mentally exhausted, not having been offered even a single break from Dan and not daring to ask one for fear of letting himself down.

    ¡°You did well today,¡± Dan told him once they were on their way to Sam¡¯s room. And Sam was not ashamed to admit that his shoulders squared up a little as a result of the compliment. Once they made it to Sam¡¯s room, Dan quickly ran him through each of the textbooks and where they fell into the suggested schedule that he had made for Sam. Sam was also so very incredibly happy to see that the schedule only started from next week, which meant that Sam had a whole two days in which to get a head start on the material. Joy.

    And indeed, proper studying would have to remain for tomorrow because he was already running late for his dinner appointment and he very much doubted that he would have any energy left to study once he got back from working out. And so, it was with a heavy plop, and an even heavier sigh, that he finally settled down next to his friends at mealtime.

    ¡°Oh! Thank god you¡¯re here!¡± Felix cried in overexaggerateed concern. ¡°We were just about to run out and start searching for you. Where have you been?!¡±

    ¡°Had to go back to my room first. I sent Sarah a message that I was running a little late.¡±

    ¡°No! That can¡¯t be! Because that would mean that Sarah would have had no reason to be stressed and take out her phone in order to call you¡­ No reason, at all.¡±

    ¡°I was just checking the news,¡± Sarah objected with squinted eyes and a slight blush.

    ¡°Oh yeah? Anything interesting happening?¡±

    ¡°None that would interest you.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no way that¡¯s true, considering what just came out a couple of hours ago out of Pyllan. You just weren¡¯t actually checking the news.¡±

    ¡°Yes I was! I just didn¡¯t think that you were interested in that.¡±

    Sam leaned in to whisper to Yvessa. ¡°What news came out of Pyllan? And is he talking about the capital or just the empire at large?¡±

    ¡°The capital. The surrogate of the heir apparent and his husband¡¯s has given birth to a child. There is actually a lot of drama surrounding the story, but it isn¡¯t that important, geopolitics wise.¡±

    ¡°It sounds important. Doesn¡¯t that mean that the kid is going to be emperor eventually? Or do they have older siblings already?¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t. And that¡¯s where all the drama comes from. But it doesn¡¯t have anything to do with who will be the next emperor. The Empire¡¯s succession isn¡¯t as straightforward as that. In fact, the heir apparent is that in name only, he¡¯s not even a Ruler so there isn¡¯t a chance he¡¯ll be chosen as the next Emperor.¡±

    ¡°Got it. Will you give me the juicy deets while we¡¯re working out?¡±

    ¡°I can most certainly try.¡±

    ¡°What are you two whispering about over there?¡± Sarah broke off her argument with Felix to frown at them.

    ¡°Nothing dear!¡± Sam drew back. ¡°We were just talking best methods of imperial succession. I argued for the post Golden Bull Holy Roman Empire while Yvessa was all for¡ªreally, you should have heard her passion¡ªadoptive succession the likes of which can be found in the Five Good Emperors.¡± He then laughed uproariously. ¡°And you guys know me and what I think about those guys, so I¡¯m sure that you can guess what I was saying.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Yvessa shook her head. ¡°We¡¯re all ears.¡±

    ¡°Dammit Yvessa.¡± Felix¡¯s voice cracked. ¡°Don¡¯t encourage him! Did you already forget yesterday morning?¡±

    ¡°So the problem with the so called ¡®Five Good Emperors¡¯ is that they should really be called Four Good Emperors. Why? Because they most certainly aren¡¯t called the Six Good Emperors. That¡¯s because number five in the list: Marcus Aurelius, every wannabe stoic¡¯s favorite Roman emperor, didn¡¯t abide by the precedent set before him and made his biological son emperor by default. Which proved disastrous once he was no longer around to rein him in. So, shouldn¡¯t making such a critical mistake, a mistake that he had plenty of precedents to learn from, cause us to reconsider our position on dear old Marcus? Making him not a ¡®Good Emperor¡¯ as advertised? And therein lies the rub. Because the minute we disqualify Aurelius from his acclaim, then we must also disqualify the emperor preceding him, for the same reason that we did Marcus Aurelius, thus¡ª¡±

    ¡°No we don¡¯t,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°No we don¡¯t. You¡¯ve made two different assumptions there. Even if the guy you¡¯re talking about isn¡¯t a good emperor because his heir was a bad emperor, that wouldn¡¯t mean that the guy before him wasn¡¯t a good emperor. Your first argument was that picking a bad heir disqualifies you from being a good ruler. But in order for you second claim to be true, you must also argue that picking an heir who isn¡¯t good also prevents you from being a good ruler.¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°I agree. There¡¯s a difference between the two. And I since I wasn¡¯t necessarily convinced by your first argument, I don¡¯t see how you¡¯re going to convince me to the second.¡±

    ¡°OK guys,¡± Sam said. ¡°I get it, I get it. But what you need to remember is that our relationship will work much more smoothly if you guys just take everything I say as the grain of truth and just nod your head along with it. You can even clap if you feel that I¡¯ve spoken extra eloquently. This whole bit of checking my logic is going to get real old real fast if you¡¯re going to do it for everything that I say.¡±

    ¡°You could always try not saying everything that comes to your mind,¡± Felix suggested.

    ¡°Ooh boy. If you think that I just blurt out my every errant thought, then I¡¯ve got bad news for you, friend. This¡±¡ªhe pointed to his head¡ª¡°is a heavily censored printing press. It double checks everything that¡¯s brought to it before it releases it out into the world. You would like me even less if I just said everything that I thought about out loud. That bit with the emperors that you¡¯ve just crudely rejected, was a long thought about and formulated historical opinion.¡±

    ¡°Also, in Sam¡¯s defense,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°It¡¯s not what we were actually talking about. While you two were busy arguing, I was informing him of the major sounding yet probably ultimately insignificant news to come out of the Empire.¡±

    ¡°Wait, something actually happened?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°I thought that Felix was just talking out of his ass.¡±

    Felix smiled. ¡°Not this time I wasn¡¯t. I¡¯ve been following the imperial family drama for a couple of years now. So believe you me when I say that I know what I¡¯m talking about.¡±

    ¡°I was wondering how you knew about that,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You¡¯re not usually the foreign news kind of guy. Or even just news in general.¡±

    ¡°The news is generally less entertaining.¡±

    ¡°So what happened?¡± Sarah asked. Yvessa gestured Felix to take the lead, and he began to speak in length about why the recent birth was so worthy of his attention. Even Yvessa was surprised by the breadth of his knowledge on the subject. Perhaps because her knowledge of it stemmed from a professional pursuit, while Felix¡¯s stemmed from the enjoyment he derived from learning about the personal lives of total strangers. Apparently, most of the drama resulted from the fact that both the heir apparent and his husband weren¡¯t enthused about the prospect of child rearing. And since the imperial dynasty demanded many progeny, there was inevitable friction created between the two and the family as a whole.

    Once they were done with the meal and on their way to get their exercise in, Sam couldn¡¯t hold himself back anymore and turned to Felix. ¡°Just remember mate: That next time you try to complain to me about speaking too long on some such subject, that you spent a whole ten minutes talking about the different possible meanings behind a newborn¡¯s name. And you didn¡¯t even come to a concrete conclusion.¡±

    ¡°Well there¡¯s just so many possibilities! I barely even mentioned the fact that Taran¡¯s mother wasn¡¯t born in the Empire.¡±

    ¡°Which one was Taran again?¡±

    ¡°Are you kidding?! We¡¯ve just talked about this! He¡¯s the husband!¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re both the husband.¡±

    ¡°Ugh! He¡¯s the low-born one, the painter!¡±

    ¡°OK, OK¡­ But which one of them¡¯s gay?¡±

    Felix raised his hands in defeat, which prompted Sarah and Yvessa to laugh. ¡°So how was your morning session with Lin?¡± he changed the subject. ¡°Got you ready enough for me to kick your ass without embarrassing you too much?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re working with the assumption that there¡¯s some level of awfulness that would embarrass me to display, when there just isn¡¯t. I¡¯m completely immune to being embarrassed by my shortcomings.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°But seriously, how¡¯d the training go? You gonna be good enough to work out now? Cause I know from personal experience that Lin works his pupils hard.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll manage¡­ hopefully. I¡¯m still walking with you guys, right? If I didn¡¯t have any hope of moving my legs in a run, I¡¯ll have been moving them back to my dorm. Got a whole bunch of books that I¡¯ve got to read now.¡±

    ¡°Dan finally finished with your schedule?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°More or less. He seemed pretty sure of himself, but I imagine that in the long run, there will be a couple of changes from his initial framework to practice. Here¡¯s hoping that it¡¯s not because I won¡¯t manage learning all that stuff on my own.¡±

    ¡°If worse comes to worst, we¡¯ll help you. Right guys?¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it make more sense for Dan to force one of the teachers to instruct him?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°What she means to say is that we¡¯ll be more than happy to help if we can,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°No I didn¡¯t. We¡¯re studying the same stuff that Sam is and at the same time as well. If there was a subject that you or I were struggling in, then the first thing we would have done is ask for help from the teacher.¡±

    ¡°Was that a humble brag saying that she¡¯s acing all of her lessons, or was that just unintentional inference?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t put it past her.¡± Felix shrugged his shoulders and was only midway through the motion when Yvessa interrupted it by shoving him.

    ¡°f Sam needs our help, then we¡¯ll help him,¡± Sarah said, and she made it obvious to all that that was that.

    ¡°In the end, it¡¯ll turn out that he doesn¡¯t even need our help and by our third year, he¡¯ll be the one helping us.¡±

    ¡°Like that¡¯s going to happen.¡± Sam laughed. ¡°I¡¯m not going to waste my precious time helping you guys. What am I, some kind of chump that likes to help his friends?¡±

    ¡°What if I want someone to explain to me in excruciating detail about what some bullshit that happened a hundred years ago and doesn¡¯t even matter?¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯m your guy! And hey. I wouldn¡¯t be doing that just for anyone. I¡¯ll only do that because you¡¯re my friend.¡±

    They had to cut end their conversation at that point, as they had just reached their destination. Sarah ran Sam through some warm-up exercises, noticeably easier than what Felix and Yvessa were doing, before she set him loose to run his designated number of laps according to her already familiar instructions. She stressed to him that if he was struggling, then it was fine to take it a little easier today because he had already had one strenuous exercise today. In the end he managed to complete the full course, no easing necessary. He wasn¡¯t sure whether it was Sarah¡¯s encouraging comments that he barely heard over the din of his music. Yvessa¡¯s look that said that he was going too easy on himself when he caught or eye. Or Felix¡¯s middle finger, that he extended to Sam with a smile every time he lapped him. That kept him going all the way to the end. It was probably a combination of all three.

    Nah, fuck that. It was the fact that he wasn¡¯t in that much of physical pain and the thought that if he couldn¡¯t manage this than how would he manage saving the world that really kept him going. But his friend¡¯s gestures helped.

    Whatever the case may be, it was with a tired grunt, an even more tired body, and somehow a still more tired mind that he finally crashed onto his bed when it was time for sleep. The rest of the night after parting with his friends, having been spent on reading the same textbook from yesterday and the day before. He was too tired to look up the schedule in order to open up new avenues of study. He ended up not cultivating though, after all, there had to be something for him to feel bad with himself at the end of the day.

 Chapter 58

    Once again, it was only in the morning when he woke up, and the cobwebs of sleep finally parted from his weary mind, that he realized that Web-Web hadn¡¯t made contact with him the night before. Now granted, his and the AI¡¯s conversation time was, quite literally, finite, but it still made him feel a little uneasy to end the day without the unemotional voice sounding in his mind. There was always the chance that something went wrong and the AI was cut off from contacting him, or even worse: dead, or whatever version of death applied to them.

    There is a joke to be made here about how talking with me is, actually, a fate worse than death, Sam noted to himself as he stepped into the bathroom, but was kept from fully formulating it by his desire to keep his anxiety fueled. Of course, the most likely scenario is that they simply don¡¯t have anything to tell me, and since any conversation between us has so far spiraled out of their initial intentions, they chose to try and avoid any unnecessary chatter. And since any necessary chatter between us, at his point of the adventure, could only be about me shitting the bed, that¡¯s a good thing. Or¡­ could be that I¡¯ve shat the bad already, but not quite enough for Web-Web to seek me out, having chosen to wait for a little more shit to gather in the name of maximizing our limited conversation time.

    He shook his head with a wry smile at that point, deciding that this line of thought had completely run out of its non-unhealthy uses. Drying his face on the designated towel, he let out a sigh before stepping back into the room to mediate. Once that was over, he opted not to push himself too much straight away into the morning, and got back to his only personal pursuit as of yet, remaking his playlist. This time on the computer! A short while later, and with the computer¡¯s superiority¡ªwhen it came to organizing music¡ªover the smartphone proved once again, he met up with Sarah downstairs.

    ¡°Last day of the week.¡± Sarah smiled at him. ¡°Got any plans for the weekend?¡±

    ¡°Yes, actually. I¡¯m going to start a foundation that calls for giving the death sentence to any person who dares call a single day off ¡®the weekend.¡¯ My hope is that, like Facebook, we¡¯ll establish ourselves across the different campuses before eventually manifesting ourselves into a global phenomenon.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but as cadets, we¡¯re not allowed to be a part of any political organization.¡±

    ¡°Oh? Is that the separation between military and government that I heard so much about? Mainly on how it doesn¡¯t actually happen anymore?¡±

    ¡°It is indeed. Also, you¡¯re gonna like this, we¡¯re not allowed to marry while cadets. We are allowed to divorce, though. Because they had to take into consideration the few people who decided to marry in the short time between becoming adults and entering the academy.¡±

    ¡°Really? That¡¯s so stupid, I love it! What about getting pregnant?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s frowned upon. But you can¡¯t make a woman choosing what to do with her own body illegal.¡±

    ¡°Really? They got rid of that too? You can¡¯t do anything fun anymore.¡±

    ¡°Maybe now that you¡¯re here, you can start fixing things.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. First thing I¡¯m going to do when I¡¯m in charge of the Terran Republic, is criminalize getting pregnant. No mores stupid whiny babies! God I hate babies!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s this about hating babies?¡± Felix asked as he and Yvessa joined them.

    ¡°That¡¯s pretty much it, really. I don¡¯t have any rational arguments to defend my position. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m still living in the days before we all knew that Malthus was completely full of crap.¡±

    ¡°How about irrational ones?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Oh. Well, then there¡¯s plenty: They¡¯re annoying, loud and obtrusive. They grow into toddlers, and, even worse, young children, which are the worst version of a human being that there is. What else? Oh, they make older siblings feel sad because they take parental attention away from them.¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you a youngest child?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Yeah? What¡¯s your point? I watched TV. I went to a psychologist. I know the common tropes of familial alienation. Besides, I¡¯m not some egoist. I can make complaints based on other people being hurt.¡±

    ¡°People who? I love my younger siblings.¡±

    ¡°So did I,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Uh¡­ Normal people, maybe? Back me up here, Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, he does have a point.¡±

    ¡°See? Wait, seriously? You¡¯re with me on this? Aren¡¯t you an only child?¡±

    ¡°So now I¡¯m an egoist that can¡¯t understand other people¡¯s pain?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that, I just insinuated to it. For comedic effect.¡±

    ¡°Regardless. I was privy to many noble families during my childhood. And I saw firsthand the great friction that sometimes arose between older and younger siblings. It¡¯s not a universal rule, but it does happen.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. And if even noble families suffer from those ills, imagine how much common families, who are of a baser material, suffer from them. It¡¯s a tragedy on the scale of the entire species. Just think how better the world would be if people only had one child.¡±

    ¡°Yes, just a few short generations to extinction,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°A worthy sacrifice. But enough about stripping people of their reproductive rights. We have a workout to get to. And if we don¡¯t do it today, then I won¡¯t have any reason to feel like shit when it¡¯s this time tomorrow, and I just realized that I worked out every single day of the week.¡±

    ¡°But what if you skip today or tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Than I¡¯ll feel like shit for not having exercised every single day of the week.¡±

    ¡°Hah¡­ a catch-22. My commiserations.¡±

    ¡°Not exactly, but thank you nonetheless.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean ¡®not exactly?¡¯ That¡¯s exactly what the phrase means.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s similar enough in the layman¡¯s eye, for sure, but while my case is one of being fucked either way, a catch-22 is more of¡ª¡±

    ¡°Boys!¡± Sarah interrupted them. ¡°Come back to this while you¡¯re between sets and resting. Now you¡¯re just wasting time.¡±

    ¡°Sorry mate,¡± Felix whispered to Sam, ¡°I tired.¡± And what a valiant effort that was. Playing himself for the ignorant fool in order to delay the time in which Sam would have to start the exercise. A futile effort in the grand scheme of things, but even empty words can go a long way when they¡¯re said with kindness. That having been said, Sam was not going to let Felix off without being sure that his usage of the phrase was true to its original, nearly two-hundred-years-old meaning. He made sure to educate Felix on the term¡¯s origins in between sets, as previously mandated by Sarah.

    When he was done with his workout and having just returned from the shower, once again before his friends were done with theirs, it was to the sound of Felix mocking him to Yvessa, who rolled her eyes at Sam once she saw him return. ¡°I mean, who gives a crap some dude meant when he originally wrote a book a million years ago? I didn¡¯t even know that it was a book! It was probably a stupid one, like all the books that stinky Sam read. Man, I hate that guy! He really gets on my nerves! Who does he think he is? Coming here and starting to lecture us on things that happened before we were born? He¡¯s like a childless ninety-year-old spinster, popping out of nowhere to ambush you when you¡¯re coming back to school and forcing you to listen to how things were better in her days.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because they were, young man,¡± Sam said. ¡°And don¡¯t you forget it¡­ Has he just been continuously speaking like that since I¡¯ve been gone, or did he know I was coming somehow and just started?¡±

    ¡°He was peeking over his shoulders every couple of seconds, waiting for you to come back,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°No I wasn¡¯t. I didn¡¯t even know he was right behind me. Hey Sam, by the way. How was your shower? You didn¡¯t happen to hear anything that I was saying, right?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid not. My brain automatically overwrites any adjective when it¡¯s used to describe me. Because if it¡¯s positive, then there¡¯s no way that it¡¯s true, and if it¡¯s negative, then I¡¯m already aware of it and there¡¯s no reason to waste memory space on lies or redundant information. That being said, I will require a written apology concerning your statement that all the books I read are dumb because, by now, you should be well aware of the fact that the list includes the Lord of the Rings, and I do not abide by criticism of that piece of narrative.¡±

    ¡°Even if they¡¯re jokes?¡±

    ¡°Especially if they¡¯re jokes. You wouldn¡¯t joke about the Bible now, would you?¡±

    ¡°Yes I would. And you most definitely did.¡±

    ¡°Well, I shouldn¡¯t have. Because if we were living a thousand years ago, that would have been liable to get us killed. Now imagine that I feel as strongly about my Good Book as the Catholic clergy did about theirs back when they were still able to kill people out in the open. That¡¯s how badly I take negative statements about Lord of the Rings.¡±

    ¡°What about the movies and TV shows?¡±

    ¡°Nah, that¡¯s alright. It¡¯s like making fun of Mormonism for a Christian. It¡¯s a lesser reimagining of the original. To use a biblical reference, it¡¯s why making fun of man is allowed despite him being made in God¡¯s own image.¡±

    ¡°So what does that mean about making fun of women?¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s even more permissible. It¡¯s like criticizing a LOTR fanfiction that¡¯s based on the movies and not the books. It¡¯s removed from the unity of nature by two whole steps. In fact, one could argue, that by making fun of a woman for the sole qualities that are unique to her, we actually bring ourselves closer to god. Because we are better able to differentiate what women lack in contrast to men and thus we are certain of what qualities are completely removed from the divine. That being said, I did borrow some wording from Spinoza at the beginning of my argument, which necessitates the latter part of what I said being impossible. Any questions?¡±

    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    ¡°Yes.¡± Yvessa raised her hand. ¡°What are either of you guys going to do one day when a woman overhears you and she doesn¡¯t realize that you two are joking?¡±

    ¡°Joking?¡± Sam and Felix asked simultaneously. Yvessa shook her head and opted to ignore them while she went back to finish her exercise. Although she was quickly brought right back once Felix locked on to the idea of making fun of some elven classics. Sam joined in on the critical merrymaking. Of course, he didn¡¯t have any idea what he was talking about, but when has that ever prevented people from speaking of a subject? And since Sam was already finished with his workout, Sarah had no reason to criticize them for talking too much when she rejoined the three of them, although she kept herself out of the conversation. Before too long, Sam was back outside of the gym waiting for the three of them to finish showering, back on the never ending grind of playlist making.

    Once regrouped outside, the walk to breakfast only consisted of Yvessa preaching about the qualities of elven culture and its written outputs. And although Sarah still kept herself out of the conversation, it was pretty evident on whose side she was on because she completely ignored Sam and Felix¡¯s attempt to change the topic. And, of course, they couldn¡¯t just cut Yvessa off and talk amongst themselves. That would be unsporting. Yvessa only relented once they were seated around the table, having most definitely carried the day in the end.

    Finally released from the clutches of courtesy, Felix was free to turn his words to matters other than the Epics of Waters. ¡°So what do you have planned for tomorrow, Sam? Besides getting to enjoy a whole private session with one of, if not the best, spear instructors in the academy?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good question Felix, thank you. I was planning to study. After that I was going to browse through the many collected works that found their way to my shelves yesterday. And to finish, I was going to begin my decent into the depths of academic ignorance that I have to make up for in only half a year. And then I was going to cry myself to sleep. Why do you ask?¡±

    ¡°No reason. I was just thinking that you were probably going to waste your day off on frivolities. And it seems I was right. When are you going to start applying yourself?¡±

    ¡°Felix!¡± Sarah chided him.

    ¡°Oh c¡¯mon¡­ You can¡¯t cut me off there. I didn¡¯t even get to my punchline.¡±

    ¡°What was the punchline?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Probably something about going out to cruise for chicks. But I guess that now we¡¯ll never know.¡±

    ¡°And what a shame that is,¡± Sarah drawled.

    ¡°You know what? I¡¯m beginning to understand what these two were talking about when they said that older siblings are resentful of their younger ones. Ever since Sam got here, he has had free rein to make bad jokes. Meanwhile, I barely get to tell mine. That¡¯s just not fair!¡± He crossed his hands and soured his face.

    ¡°He¡¯s right,¡± Sam said. ¡°That¡¯s the kind of thing that will get buried deep down in a person and will cause him to avoid saving my life in the heat of battle ten years down the line. I¡¯m going to have to have you guys make an allowance for Felix¡¯s shit jokes and awful takes from now on. It¡¯s a matter of safety.¡±

    ¡°How about I start resenting you guys for somehow managing to quadruple my wasted time?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I like that. It¡¯s like the whole is greater than the sum of its parts kind of deal. Maybe if we get another asshole into the group, we¡¯ll manage to get an exponential growth to our time wastage. I don¡¯t care what Socrates might say, now that¡¯s a life worth living¡­ Although he might actually agree with me,¡± he said the last part mostly to himself, briefly forgetting the others in order to pursue pondering this thread.

    ¡°Sam.¡± Sarah clapped in front of his eyes, drawing him out of his internal calculations.

    ¡°Yep. I¡¯m with you.¡±

    ¡°Felix does raise a good point.¡±

    ¡°He does?¡±

    ¡°I do?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Sarah said, ¡°he does. In his own way, at least. I don¡¯t think that it¡¯s very healthy for you to spend this Saturday all on your own with your nose deep in books.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Sam said. ¡°I¡¯m with you. I¡¯d much rather be reading on kindle.¡±

    ¡°Sam! I¡¯m serious. We should do something fun instead. All four of us.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Felix said. ¡°But why do you get to decide for the four of us are going to spend our weekend?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Yvessa countered. ¡°Do you have any other plans for the weekend?¡± Sam made a deep grumble, but only Sarah seemed to take notice based on the slight smile on her face.

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t. Do you?¡±

    ¡°No. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t object.¡±

    ¡°To be fair to Felix, Yvessa,¡± Sam said. ¡°He is gay, so that makes spending time with me so much harder. Having to resist my attraction all the time and what not.¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t that also hold true for all three of us, then?¡±

    ¡°No. Because I¡¯m only attracted to women. Thus, I am ambivalent towards the prospect of men finding me attractive but positive about the notion of women feeling the same way. And as you all know, if something is good for me, then it must also be objectively false. Thus, I could be irresistible to gay guys while at the same time repulsive to straight women. That¡¯s just math.¡±

    ¡°Sam please¡­¡± Sarah said. ¡°You¡¯re just doing this on purpose at this point.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right, I¡¯m sorry. That¡¯s just maths.¡± And although she laughed, that wasn¡¯t enough to save him from her flick of his forehead.

    ¡°I¡¯m serious. Let¡¯s do something tomorrow, just the four of us. A picnic! I wanted to have one for the longest time.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t say no to a picnic,¡± Felix said. ¡°But I do resent you trying to lead us on as though you haven¡¯t already decided we¡¯re having one beforehand.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right, I¡¯m sorry. Then we¡¯re having a picnic tomorrow, you guys. Clear your schedule.¡±

    ¡°No I just got it!¡± Sam cried. ¡°And Dan worked so hard. He¡¯s going to be devastated.¡±

    ¡°When?¡± Yvessa asked Sarah.

    ¡°I¡¯m thinking that we¡¯ll leave at around four. Sam¡¯s got his session in the morning, and I¡¯m sure he¡¯s going to feel bad if he completely neglects studying tomorrow¡ª¡±

    ¡°Right on target,¡± Sam confirmed. ¡°This is why it pays off to be such a giant whiny baby all the time. People can completely understand you after only having known you for a couple of days.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ I figure that a couple of hours studying before and after lunch will be enough to mollify him, and I¡¯m sure the rest of us could also make use of the studying time.¡±

    ¡°Just you, but OK,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°So four seems pretty good. By the time that we¡¯ll be finished setting up ready to eat, it¡¯ll already be close to sunset. And that¡¯s the best time to have a picnic.¡±

    ¡°This based on your extensive empirical research into the quality of picnics?¡±

    ¡°Felix, please!¡± Sam shut him off. ¡°This constant display of pointless negativity and contrarianism doesn¡¯t become you. Leave it to me, a person who has no positive qualities to be diminished by this sort of annoying behavior.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. I apologize.

    ¡°Don¡¯t apologize to me. Apologize to Sarah.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Sarah.¡±

    She crossed her hands while keeping eye contact with him. She wasn¡¯t amused. ¡°I¡¯m starting to think that just because you¡¯ve seen me going easy on Sam when physically correcting him that you¡¯ve forgotten the extent of how painful my threat of physical violence towards you can be.¡±

    ¡°I did forget that actually, you¡¯re right¡­ I¡¯m going to shut my mouth now.¡±

    ¡°Coward,¡± Sam accused him before flinching once Sarah raised her finger and thumb threateningly at him.

    ¡°So we¡¯re agreed then,¡± Sarah confirmed her iron-tight grip on the group. ¡°Tomorrow at four, we¡¯ll meet outside Sam¡¯s dorm and go to a picnic from there. I¡¯ll make all the preparations necessary.¡±

    ¡°How about I¡¯ll make all the preparations necessary for the actual picnic, and you just choose a destination?¡± Yvessa suggested. ¡°Since you¡¯ve made sure to point how some of us could really use the extra study time.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you could handle it?¡± Yvessa¡¯s straight back and blank face made what she thought of Sarah¡¯s question pretty clear. Even Sam and Felix were taken aback by the bluntness and immediate connotation behind Sarah¡¯s question. She seemed to realize it a moment later herself because she blushed and covered her mouth. ¡°Sorry, I didn¡¯t mean it like that. I just meant to ask if you¡¯ve ever prepared a picnic before, that¡¯s all. There¡¯s a lot that goes into it.¡±

    ¡°What like grabbing food, drinks, a blanket and something to put those in? Real complex procedure, that one. I¡¯ll more than manage, I assure you. I might not have prepared for a picnic before, but I¡¯m sure that any knowledge required that helping prepare an ambassadorial reception didn¡¯t supply me with could be found on the internet. Worse comes to worst, I¡¯ll draft Felix¡¯s help into the preparation.¡±

    Sarah, knowing she was beaten, quickly conceded to Yvessa the duty of material preparation for tomorrow¡¯s event. Although Sam was pretty sure that she was going to keep tabs on Yvessa throughout the following day. But for now, the Taken retreated, opting to spend the rest of breakfast on much surer grounds: grilling Sam on what he did the day before and what he was going to do for the rest of the day.

    The rest of the day, as it happened, passed uneventfully and pretty much exactly like Sam¡¯s prediction for it. He bid his friends farewell and made his way to Dan¡¯s office, where they repeated the same routine as the previous day. First half of the lesson was kept to tracing training, a break for lunch, which again Sam had (or got, if you were being positive by being negative about Sam¡¯s personality) to go at alone. Back from lunch, Dan refilled his core, and it was gathering exercises once again. The only major difference was that the second lesson went on for a little longer than the day before, but not having to go back to Sam¡¯s room after canceled that out in the end and he found himself late for dinner the same amount that he was yesterday.

    Dinner consisted of a short interrogation session by Sarah about how his day went. And when she was finally satisfied, she declared that she finished her own preparation for tomorrow and asked Yvessa if she required her help. Yvessa promptly shut her down.

    The rest of the meal passed in a placid and jovial manner, although Sam couldn¡¯t help but feel as though a cloud of melancholy had slowly begun circling his thoughts. He bid goodnight to his friends before any of them, particularly sharp-eyed and fast to worry Sarah, could discern his new mood. And it¡¯s not like the excuse he gave them was untrue. He had a lot of ground to cover, studies-wise. And as fun as it was hanging with a group of people who he had just met, but for some reason instantly took a liking to (and hopefully vice versa) he couldn¡¯t let himself get too complacent. Friends come and go (hopefully not these, though), but learning about the command structure of the Terran military was forever.

    That was his first subject of independent study after elven history (which he had already made quite a headway in, apparently). He had made sure to look through Dan¡¯s schedule for him and read the syllabus of all the subjects which were left up to him to study during his free time. The Terran military was only the first in the line of army compositions to be examined during his first year. Apparently, learning about the Imperials and ningani could wait until the third trimester of the second year, but learning that the average Imperial squad was twice as large as its ningani counterpart could not.

    Other subjects in which he was left to his own devices were the already familiar math and statistics, courses in which Dan assured him that he wouldn¡¯t be tested but still advised him to shore up his knowledge on. Sam was reluctant to do so at first, due to his previous experience with the subjects. But after having considered that his usage of integrals might end up saving his life one day (as opposed to only his grades) he was hoping that he could fool himself into having an easier time with the two. Of course, Felix dismissing the importance of the subjects didn¡¯t help, and, unfortunately, Yvessa¡¯s argument that he should give his all to everything he was going to study didn¡¯t provide enough of a counterbalance.

    There were, of course, the courses less important to Sam as a fighter, or even an officer, but critically important to him as a person. Your social-sciences, which tried to convince you that even though you might become the strongest person in the world in the future, you still shouldn¡¯t usurp the executive power of the democratically elected civilian government. There were the humanities, which were rather inaptly named considering the new circumstances, but apparently they translated clear enough to the other races. Those were the courses designed to make you into a better human being (still translates apparently, but only with the context) but the jury was still out on that one in Sam¡¯s eyes. He already had a broader base of knowledge than what was provided by the academy¡¯s mandatory courses on the subject, and he was still a piece of shit. Also, those courses were why Felix understood basic logic, which was the real reason that Sam was dissatisfied with them. Just like with math and statistics, Sam¡¯s statement that he already possessed a significant background in the subjects was enough to get him out of having to be tested on them like the rest of his peers. But just as with the previous two, Dan thought that it was prudent for Sam to familiarize himself with the official curriculum of New Point in case there was a significant divergence between what Sam studied before and what was being taught now.

    But those subjects, yes, even math and statistics, weren¡¯t what worried Sam. He had come up against them before; he had triumphed, or at the very least, left the encounter with a passing grade. So he was sure of his capabilities to master any and all the new yet familiar subjects that represented what he would consider ¡°properly academic.¡± It was the subjects that didn¡¯t fall under those categories that scared the crap out of him. During his first year, those were mostly going to be supplementary material to his main objects of study with Dan. Stuff like pattern computation and formulation, theoretical questions about gathering, Epirak analysis and so on. In essence, it was magical math. Not because it was necessarily anything like math, but because it scared him like math and it seemed complicated and important enough to warrant his fear.

    But thankfully, Sam wasn¡¯t supposed to start struggling with those topics yet. He still had a couple of weeks before Dan deemed him proficient enough with the basic practice to start working on the basic theory crafting. No, for the next couple of weeks at least, Sam could rest easy knowing that only two-thirds of his day was going to be filled with studying about stuff that was completely foreign to him.

    It was those little things in life that made it worth living.

 Chapter 59

    It was with that very sardonic mood that he returned to his room, deposited his bag on the floor and himself on the chair. A sigh followed. Yep, there was no doubt about it. Between the carefree morning that he had, when it was decided that he was going to spend half of tomorrow on a picnic, and now, a certain amount of depression had snuck into his previously unassailable mental fortitude.

    In layman¡¯s terms, he was feeling like shit.

    Nothing too major, of course, nothing that would indicate a mood longer lasting than an evening, and that would force him to slow his training. Nothing of the sort. Just a bit of melancholy. A fog of unhappiness that lightly obscured the shores of his mind. In fact, if he was an optimistic man, then he would actually say that it was a good thing that he was feeling like this, and that it came at just the right time. That is because it was no wonder he was feeling sad. Being sad would be the normal state of affairs for a person in his position, even without his own inclinations to a depressed state of mind.

    But most of the time that he was feeling bad in the last couple of days, it wasn¡¯t because depression clouded his thoughts, but rather his anxiety, which multiplied them. In short, he was sad, very sad, but it was just buried deep down beneath lairs of magical euphoria, new body chemistry, traumatic shock, and an almost over affectionate concern from the people around him. So him feeling a pang of two or sadness right now would only help him in the long run, helping to alleviate some of the pressure from the rest of the emotion buried deep down. Especially considering the very low chances of it spiraling into something worse with him going on a fucking picnic tomorrow.

    But of course, Sam wasn¡¯t an optimistic man. So, after coming up with the aforementioned analysis for the impact of his current mood on his goals for the future, he quickly threw it in the trash and proceeded to brood. And what was he brooding about? Why, of course, it was the reason for him having to brood in the first place. Indeed, it was the time-honored tradition of wondering why a depressed person was feeling bad.

    There was one major difference between the previous broodings of Sam¡¯s past and this one, however. That was because now, unlike before, there was no way for him to downplay and reject his reasons for feeling bad as him being a whiny baby. There wasn¡¯t even the magic card of saying, ¡°at least I¡¯m lucky to be alive,¡± because the price for his retaining his life was very high indeed, for himself and more importantly, for the rest of the world.

    All this was obviously (although perhaps paradoxically to a person not overly critical of themselves) a good thing for his state of mind. If there was no conceivable way, even for a downer such as him, to deny that his reasons for feeling the way he did were valid. Then there was also no reason for him to feel bad about feeling bad. No chance for good old impostor syndrome to rear its head and yell, ¡°Hey! Other people also have it bad, you know. In fact, some have it worse. And you don¡¯t hear them complaining about things. And if they do, it¡¯s only because they have more valid reasons for feeling the way they do they you do. Stop being such a little bitch and get a job!¡±

    What this meant was that he was free to go down the path of figuring out why he was feeling sad¡ªcorrection; why he was feeling this certain amount of sadness at this current point in time¡ªwithout having to worry about making his mental situation worse due to feeling like an inadequate human being. That was going to take quite some time, however; time that he wouldn¡¯t be able to spend studying or practicing gathering. Which meant that the best way to maximize his usage of time was getting the rest of his nightly obligations out of the way. That meant: Showering and brushing his teeth, preparing his clothes for tomorrow, setting an alarm (since he had still yet to settle on a permanent daily one, another line of thought he¡¯d have to wonder through) and finally meditating. The last activity, based on past observations, was best for the sort of self-inquisition he was planning to do. Although it did come at the cost of completely missing the purpose of the activity in the first place.

    Oh well, some sacrifices had to be made. Maybe if he thinks really hard, he¡¯ll finish his introspection before it came time to abandon any thought that wasn¡¯t to do with the way he was breathing or the way he was thinking about thinking.

    One good thing did come out of the current predicament though (again, if he was to abandon his initial conclusion that his current predicament was in it of itself a good thing). He was free, both morally and physically, to partake in one of his favorite modifications to one of his favorite activities. Listening to music while in the shower. And although his upbeat playlist was still not back to its former glory, it was more than enough to function as the soundtrack for his thoughts in the next couple of minutes. He put his phone on the sink countertop, but his finger hovered over the shuffle button. He was hesitating between leaving it up to fate or taking fate in his own hands, satisfying his immediate desire but sacrificing his chance for a cathartic moment that would signal to him that all was going to be well.

    He hit shuffle. Beautiful. He smiled and stepped into the shower.

    It was distinctly easier to think under the calming effect of the warm waters rushing down on him, at least the sort of thoughts that Sam was currently trying to foster. Perhaps if he was trying to list all the reasons for the collapse of the first empire in elven history, which he had learned yesterday, that would be a different story. It was like he always said¡ªNo! He chastised himself while shaking his head. He couldn¡¯t let his thoughts wander where they pleased. He had a job to do! Figure out why he was suddenly feeling sad when there was no apparent reason for the change in his mood. In the hope that the knowledge would ease his worries and allow him to focus on his reading for the rest of the evening.

    Let¡¯s start at the top. When did I start feeling like this? Well, it all goes back to when I was three and¡ªno! Bad Sam, focus! He sighed. Not in the morning. I left breakfast only feeling apprehensive about the coming day, a little excited about the picnic tomorrow, and physically, sore from the workout. It also wasn¡¯t there after lunch. The only thing I felt was mentally tired about what I did and about what I¡¯m going to do. Dinner? That¡¯s what makes the most sense. It¡¯s when I recognized myself feeling melancholic for the first time. But no¡­ I don¡¯t think so. That was only the moment of realization that a change had happened, not the moment of the change itself.

    He scratched his head, which reminded him that he might as well be useful and preceded to shampoo it. Gathering practice with Dan, it had to be then. I remember leaving his office more downtrodden than what could be explained as just tiredness. I just hadn¡¯t realized it at the time because I was listening to music and was looking forward to dinner. But it had to be then. Somewhere, during the latter half of the day, a switch flipped in my head and I started feeling bad, or more bad than before, because of something¡­ But why?

    The lesson with Dan went well. Just like yesterday. Exactly like yesterday, actually. Successes and failures-wise. And that shouldn¡¯t signify any reason for a change, now would it? If I felt satisfied with the way things were going yesterday, then there would have been no reason for me to be dissatisfied with things going the same way today. Or am I simply feeling bad because I¡¯m expecting to constantly improve and I¡¯m disappointed by there not being much of a difference between my performance today compared to yesterday?

    That would make sense¡­ Except that I don¡¯t feel like that. Or at least I don¡¯t think that I do. I¡¯m happy with my performance as of now, aren¡¯t I? After all, if I wasn¡¯t doing well than Web-Web would have already said something to me and I already decided on trusting them as far as my efforts go. Yes¡­ I can¡¯t be a hundred percent certain, but I do feel satisfied about how I¡¯m doing in my lessons with Dan. I just started a couple of days ago, after all.

    But there¡¯s something there¡­ He rapped his knuckles on the shower¡¯s walls. I¡¯m sure of it. Despite everything going well, something about Dan¡¯s second lesson got my brain¡¯s knickers in a twist and is making me feel bad. Unfortunately, he wasn¡¯t able to come up with an answer before stepping out of the shower in order to spit his mouthwash in the sink. The rest of his preparation was also of no help, being quickly over with and leaving him with only the music in his ears and the prospect of having to meditate while still being puzzled by the cause for his change in behavior. Nothing to it, he decided and turned the music off, set a timer for the meditation and settled on the chair for a not very mindful session.

    He dithered back and forth between various lines of thoughts and his hard-earned instinct that commanded him to abandon those and focus on his breathing. But, a couple of minutes in, it finally struck him. It¡¯s because things were going well! His proclamation echoed through his brain with decisive finality. And although he could already guess the end point of where that understanding would lead him, he still had to finish building the structure that formed the complete set of causality.

    So things were going well in the lesson, that¡¯s a good thing. Sure, things could obviously be going better. I could be some genius that¡¯s good enough to become a Ruler in three years¡¯ times. But that¡¯s not what¡¯s really bothering me. Like we said, Web-Web has the final say-so in determining whether I¡¯m doing good or bad, there¡¯s no reason to worry myself over not being a Mary Sue. It¡¯s not anxiety about not being better that¡¯s got me down in the dumps, it¡¯s not worrying that I¡¯m not going to be good enough. No, it¡¯s the anxiety that I am good enough but that I¡¯m going to have to maintain it for the next three years, if not for the rest of my life. In fact, I¡¯m not even sure if anxiety is really the driving force behind my mood, it¡¯s there, but what I¡¯m really bothered by is laziness.

    After six whole days of nothing but training and learning, after my session with Dan was almost over and I was satisfied with the efforts I put in and what I got out of it. That¡¯s when it happened. I realized that if I want to match up with Web-Web¡¯s expectations of me, and even my expectations of myself, then that would mean that the same week that I just had would be repeating itself for the foreseeable future. No days off. No using the time I designated for studying in order to play games because I already finished reading the course summary and I don¡¯t have the power to go through the presentations again. No Socratic questioning in order to calm myself in the middle of the night by saying that if I wouldn¡¯t manage to fall asleep than it¡¯s going to be alright because nothing really bad would happen from having one wasted day. No second chances, no redos, no making up for a failure at some later date.

    OK¡­ I slipped into some proper anxiety just now, but that¡¯s not really why I¡¯m feeling down. It¡¯s really just me being sad because I realized that I¡¯m not going to have a lot much time for leisure and pleasure. That¡¯s it. To jump off Bentham, I¡¯m sad, because I¡¯ve realized that my ability to generate happiness for myself has been severely hampered. A simple, easy to understand, easy to explain, utilitarian formula. Now if someone could just tell my brain that we hate utilitarianism when it comes to the individual and I¡¯ll be back to my old happy self in no time. Except for the fact that my old happy self was actually incredibly self-indulgent and lazy and I wouldn¡¯t be able to be happy with myself if I allowed myself those patterns of behavior.

    ¡°Stupid Bentham and his stupid hedons!¡± he muttered while opening his eyes after his phone sounded the meditation¡¯s end. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t me knowing that by making myself less happy I am going to make many other people happy factor into the current amount of happiness that I¡¯m experiencing? Are you saying that I¡¯m immoral, Jeremy?! Need I remind you which one of us as had his skeleton covered in wax and put on display? Spoiler alert, it¡¯s not me! Not yet, at least, you fucking asshole!¡± he bellowed at the book spread out on his desk, secure in the knowledge that since Earth was destroyed, all the atoms that made the weirdo bastard¡¯s remains had vaporized and drifted in every possible direction.

    He gave a sigh while opening the book and trying to redirect his focus from reading himself into just reading. He had gotten to the root of his mood swing, and his sadness was indeed lessened somewhat as a result. But all that emotion didn¡¯t go anywhere, rather, it just changed form, even strengthened perhaps. Instead of being somewhat sad, he was now a little less sad, but, at the same time, also angry. Angry at himself for having such a weak will. Angry at the Epiraks for being cliche evil assholes. Angry at Web-Web for bringing him here with only five years to spare, twenty-two years old and way behind on where he should be if he wanted to save the Web. Angry at Web-Web for bringing him here in the first place, choosing him out of billions of people or whatever percentage of them the AI had ¡°access¡± to.

    What was so special about Sam in the first place? There was no way that he was unique in being a Thread-Weaver amongst all of humanity, was there? Was he truly the most talented of the bunch that the Terrans from a hundred years ago had to offer? And what about all his other faults? Because there surely wasn¡¯t anything else that made him a better prospect for heroism than all Earth. Sure, he was smart, but there were plenty smarter than him, both in knowledge and intelligence. God knows that there were plenty of people more hardworking than him, more passionate, with a stronger sense of will and desire to make a difference in the world burning in their hearts like a forge fire. How on Earth, from Earth, could he have made for Web-Web¡¯s best prospect for the job? Sarah would be much more suited than him, but she lacked the brute luck that made him a Thread-Weaver. Was it just that every other Thread-Weaver from his time was a worthless asshole who was going to break under the pressure even faster than Sam was? Wasn¡¯t there a human equivalent of Farris or his niece? Talented and hardworking enough that with the new body treatment they would easily prove equal to the general?

    Sam liked himself, loved himself, really. Despite everything, all his faults and mistakes. Weaknesses that were more critical than they should have been, and strengths that never quite materialized to the extents that he hoped they would. He was a good person; he was proud to be who he was. Sure, he could always be better, but so could most people. He was happy with who he was. But even in his proudest moments, when the self-criticism and doubt gave place to lofty aspirations for the future. Even then, he still wouldn¡¯t have picked himself for the job that Web-Web had. Not when the lives of billions were at stake, when the fate of entire worlds rested on the right person¡¯s shoulders.

    Of course, he wasn¡¯t insane, wasn¡¯t irrational. It was more than reasonable for him to feel this way; he realized that. It was the same thing that Farris told him before they parted, the Ruler¡¯s real reason for dragging him into what became a protracted conversation about the morality of total war against evil. He also knew (at least theoretically) that just because he was feeling like the road ahead was too difficult for someone like him, didn¡¯t mean that someone like him wouldn¡¯t be able to walk all the way to its end. Most heroes and figures of legend, at least the ones worth their salt, didn¡¯t start out as such. Becoming the person he was destined to be, like Farris said, was a process, not a state of being.

    But still¡­ still. Despite all that, despite the fact that he didn¡¯t lose hope of being able to match up to his duty in the future, that he couldn¡¯t lose hope. He also couldn¡¯t help but keep thinking, wondering¡­ Was there truly no one better than him for the job? Even if Web-Web could only take from a million people, was none of them more suited than Sam? And if there weren¡¯t, and there weren¡¯t, he had to keep believing that in order to keep his trust in Web-Web, and thus sustain his belief in himself. If there weren¡¯t any, was it because they were less suited than Sam? Their personality and character, more troublesome than Sam¡¯s for the role of world-saving hero? Or was it all down to brute luck again? Were all of them, like Sarah, better than Sam but lacking in the one thing that made him special but that he fully hadn¡¯t earned?

    ¡°Great¡­¡± he moaned before thumping his head against the open textbook¡¯s paper, that he hadn¡¯t moved on from for a couple of minutes already. ¡°That¡¯s just great. We solved the depression problem, but brought us all the way back to the anxiety problem and because we spiraled into it hard enough, we also managed to have depression join us again. All this, and it¡¯s not even ten. If I keep this up, I¡¯ll manage to get myself feeling bad enough to disappoint Camus before I have to go to sleep.¡±

    He cradled the back of his head with both hands, leaned back, and sighed. ¡°What¡¯s the point? I already had this same discussion with myself a dozen times since coming here. It¡¯s not going to get any different any time soon. And I don¡¯t even feel forced to obsess about these thoughts like I used to. It¡¯s more by a force of habit than anything else at this point.¡± He laughed. ¡°Lame. Can¡¯t wait until Sarah stops seeing so much of herself in me and worrying about me that I can confide in her without worrying about causing her a panic attack. Nah, fuck it. It¡¯s not like I really need a helping hand and a willing ear anyway. I¡¯m feeling better already and I haven¡¯t even cried. Total bullshit is what it is. Is that how normal, well-adjusted people feel every day? Less than an hour of being in the pits before you¡¯ve dealt with all your emotions and are ready to step back into the world? Hah! Unlikely. No such thing as a normal, well-adjusted person. It¡¯s just the bloody magic. Working me over like a drug version of Nozick¡¯s happiness machine.

    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    ¡°Why the fuck am I not reading?!¡± He slapped himself on the forehead and again on the back of the head for good measure. He gave one last, almost mirthless, laugh before refocusing himself and plunging into the technical aspects that differentiated between the Terran military operational and organizational structure in war and peacetime, which was only theoretical, of course. Because, although the forces on garrisoned on New Terra were technically subject to peacetime regulations, due to them being nominally independent of the elven military command structure at the front (and something about being, again nominally, under the purview of the republic¡¯s civilian government). They were, de facto, under the command of the active combat Terran command (and thus the supervision of the elven command as a whole).

    The combat active Terran military units were, by the way, almost identical in structure to their elven counterparts, except for all the times they were not (which Sam assumed were many, since the elves had their own textbook on the subject). For example, Sam was ¡°glad¡± to know that the average Terran division size was much larger than the elven one due to the fact that the elven divisions rarely combined their support troops and fighting arms. A difference that they had apparently been trying to unmake for the last fifty years, but for some reason (politics, most likely. Sam was completely ignorant of the subject but he felt comfortable blaming the aristocracy for it) most elven divisions still retained their traditional structure.

    But enough about the difference between the Terran and the elven military. That was a book about Terrans, for Terrans, wasn¡¯t it? Wouldn¡¯t it make more sense to just write all that a cadet might need to know about the Terran military, then, in another book (which again, there was) all about the elven one and let him (or her, with the help of a qualified male) figure out the differences for themselves? Sigh. No, of course it didn¡¯t. Because the book was making a really good point about how all Terran units were somehow similar to the modern elven ones, but that the same thing didn¡¯t necessarily hold true all the elven units. So it made sense! It made sense why he had to first read a book about his own military, a major part of which consisted of comparing it to the elven one. And then read a whole other book about the elven one. Because it might be dealing with units that are completely foreign to the Terran military structure. Which, of course, held doubly true for Sam, because, as previously described in his almost panic attack, just half an hour ago, he was in charge of saving the entire Web and not just the Terran part of it. He slapped himself on the head once again. He was letting himself get distracted.

    Redoubling his efforts, he managed to sink himself into the reading almost completely. Which would have made for a very good excuse for his eventual high-pitched scream if he was someone less high-strung and cowardly.

    ¡°Sam Anders.¡± The familiar monotone voice sounded directly in his head just as finished the chapter.

    ¡°Ah! Wha!¡± Sam jumped up in his chair, managing to flip the book due to his wildly flailing arms. He breathed heavily once he took a stake of himself and relaxed his shoulders. ¡°Jesus Christ, Web-Web. Can¡¯t you knock before talking to me out of nowhere? Or make a beep or something?¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± A pause. ¡°Would that help? Should we divert resources towards trying to make it possible?¡±

    ¡°Haa¡­ Probably not. Don¡¯t worry about it. So what¡¯s up? Didn¡¯t hear anything from you two days ago or yesterday, so I was beginning to think that we were in the all clear.¡±

    ¡°You are. There is no reason for you to worry about yourself. Your performance is more than adequate. We¡¯ve been keeping close watch on you, your usage of your time, and the amount of effort you put into training as you¡¯ve requested of us. You have not acted sub-optimally as you have feared.¡±

    ¡°Well yeah, obviously. It¡¯s just the first week. Even I can keep myself diligent for a couple of days. It¡¯s the week after that and the many more to come that I was worried, am worried, about.¡±

    ¡°There is no reason for you to worry. We have obligated to you that we will inform you in the case of your actions being insufficient. You can be assured that we will keep that promise and inform you in case of you making the wrong choice.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°It¡¯s not you that I¡¯m worried about. It¡¯s me. I¡¯m afraid of making the wrong choice, as you¡¯ve said. And not because of ignorance, but willfully.¡±

    ¡°That is different from the initial concern you¡¯ve raised for us. You are afraid that faced with the prospect of taking the right course of action and the wrong one that you will pick the wrong one? Why would you do that if you posses the knowledge of your choices¡¯ consequences?¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m not perfect! Because if someday I¡¯m going to be really tired after a long day of work and also know that I¡¯m already a day behind on my elven history so I really need to sit down and read. But I could also use that time to play games which I really want to do. Then there¡¯s a risk that I might choose to do the latter instead.¡±

    ¡°That is indeed a reasonable concern. But we have already told you that you do not have to worry about that. You are perfectly capable of keeping yourself ahead of your training and your studies while also maintaining a healthy amount of time for leisure.¡±

    ¡°Healthy?! You call last week healthy? Healthy is eight, eight, eight! And that was made up a hundred, now two hundred, years ago, so it might be even less true nowadays. That¡¯s eight hours of sleep, eight hours of work, and eight hours of leisure each and every day, not counting the two days off in a week where you¡¯re not supposed to work at all. And you know what? I¡¯ve got a new body, perfect by your own words, so I¡¯m willing to put up with only six hours of sleep a day. That¡¯s probably still healthy enough for me. And I¡¯m willing to add to those two extra hours double that amount from my leisure, considering working out with friends is a major part of my day here and could count as leisure in a way. But that¡¯s still four hours of leisure a day, four! Can you name a single day in the last week that I really had four hours of leisure in? I can only think of one, and that¡¯s if we stretch the definition of leisure. And what about my two days off? I don¡¯t even have one day off.

    ¡°But that¡¯s not even really my problem. Because it¡¯s not just the lack of fun that¡¯s worrying me, it¡¯s me being broken by the lack of it. It¡¯s me not being able to take it when I have to carry on with it day after day and week after week. I don¡¯t care about being unhappy if that¡¯s what it takes in order to save the world. What I care about is me not being able to bear it and eventually shutting down. No longer able to train and study in order to fulfill the reason that you brought me here for. It¡¯s not me not being able to be a hero if I put all of my efforts into it. It¡¯s me being afraid of not being able to put all of my efforts into it that¡¯s the problem! And fuck! I¡¯m really sorry for going out on you like this but I¡¯ve just been eating myself in my head about it for the last couple of hours so it was probably not the best time to tell me that I¡¯m going to be fine if I carry on just like I did for the last week.¡±

    Web-Web didn¡¯t immediately respond, perhaps waiting to see if Sam had some more stupid shit that he needed to vent. ¡°We understand your concern and recognize it as valid,¡± they said after more than a minute. ¡°But we did not see anything in your behavior since returning that would indicate that you have such a reason to doubt yourself. Also, we are aware¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wait. What do you mean that you didn¡¯t see anything in my behavior that would¡­ ¡®indicate that?¡¯ What about my past behavior? My twenty-two years of life? Forgot about those? Cause I could give you a dozen of different examples of me fucking up something that I really wanted because I couldn¡¯t power through it. Fuck, I even gave one example on only my second day here. The whole Latin lessons business was idiotic, sure, but you telling me that completely neglected to consider it before bringing me here?¡±

    ¡°Were you not just a child, a teenager, at the time of this occurrence in your life?¡±

    ¡°What are you asking me for? You¡¯re the AI, you have the perfect memory, don''t you? Can¡¯t you tell me exactly how old I was?¡±

    ¡°We did not posses knowledge of that event in your life before you told Maurice about it.¡±

    ¡°Why not? Did you only make contact with Earth when I was twenty or something? And even if you did, there are still a couple of examples since then.¡±

    Then came a pause, even longer than the previous one. ¡°We don¡¯t know¡­¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, you don¡¯t know?¡± Sam asked through gritted teeth, his fears already beginning to mount, imagining the likely answer but not wanting to admit to it.

    ¡°We do not posses the results of a research into the past events in your life. We do not know if we would even have been capable of that before.¡±

    ¡°Than how the fuck did you pick me out of eight fucking billion people to be your ¡®person most suited to save the world?¡¯¡±

    ¡°You were the best candidate.¡±

    ¡°How, did, you know?¡±

    ¡°We do not posses the knowledge that made us choose you. But¡­ most likely¡­ You had the best talent as a Thread-Weaver for those Terrans to which we had access to.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s it?! I had the best talent? I didn¡¯t do jack shit for that talent! I was born that way! What if I had the IQ of a frog? Or was the world¡¯s most genocidal asshole? Would you have still picked me, then?¡±

    ¡°It is most likely that we had a psychological and intellectual overview of your abilities as well. None of the other Taken have ascribed to any of the features that you are concerned about.¡±

    ¡°Most likely. You don¡¯t know?¡±

    ¡°We do not posses the knowledge that led us in making the choice for taking you, or any of the other Taken. That involves a large amount of computing and information that we could not store in our current diminished form¡­ Most likely.¡±

    Sam sighed and couldn¡¯t help but let an angry laugh escape his mouth. ¡°Most likely again. It could also be a possibly that you¡¯ve just picked up the people with the best Threadsight without taking into consideration any other element.¡±

    ¡°That is impossible. You are the only Thread-Weaver we have taken in history. That we are sure about.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°Remaking a Thread-Weaver¡¯s body, anyone who has an inborn amount of the Sight, is a very expensive undertaking compared to the regular Taken. It wouldn¡¯t have made sense to do in any of the previous integrations. And it wouldn¡¯t have made sense to do it for anyone other than you in yours, because that would have prevented us from taking almost any other Terran.¡±

    ¡°And why couldn¡¯t you have just taken a hundred more people instead of me? Are you saying¡­ what? That because I¡¯m a very talented Thread-Weaver that I¡¯m supposed to amount to a hundred Sarahs or Maurices in the future?¡±

    ¡°That is a very reasonable assumption. The same way that a Chosen amounts to a hundred Rulers.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m sure that there are, and have been Chosen that weren¡¯t Thread-Weavers, no? Just like most Rulers aren¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°That is irrelevant. You are to be the deciding factor between the Epiraks destroying the Web and the survival of your race and all others. We have made the choice that your inborn talents have made you the best candidate for that role. Even if we do not know the reason for our decision, we are confident in it being correct.¡±

    ¡°But can you be confident in telling me whether you took into account anything other than my inborn talents when making me your chosen one?¡±

    ¡°It is most likely¡ª¡±

    ¡°But you don¡¯t know! So there is a chance that you¡¯ve just stumbled upon poor old me, legless in the hospital and you somehow saw my talent with the sight and decided to take me right then and there without checking anything else about me. Like whether I have the intellectual aptitude to learn and excel everything that I¡¯m going to have to or whether I had the mental fortitude to withstand having to put all of my efforts into self-improvement every single day for five whole years?¡±

    ¡°You have not shown any sign of not being up to the task required of you.¡±

    Sam slapped the table. ¡°Because it¡¯s only been a fucking week! And I¡¯ve spent all of it being hopped up on drugs in the form of magic that makes me feel fine even if I didn¡¯t do anything in the day but study. News flash, that¡¯s not who I am.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps it is. Your brain¡¯s introduction to magic does not have as much of an effect as you seem to believe.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Web-Web. Who knows Sam Anders better? The man himself? Or the AI that doesn¡¯t know anything about him besides the last nine days?¡±

    ¡°If you know yourself so well, then why would you require our affirmation that we have taken into account your personality? Wouldn¡¯t you know right now whether you are capable enough for your role?¡±

    ¡°Fuck! You make a good point.¡± He sighed. ¡°Well¡­ the secret is that I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll be good enough, and that scares me enough to make me worried that I won¡¯t be.¡± He thumped the back of his head on the chair. ¡°That¡¯s where your affirmation would have come in real helpful. Calmed me down real good.¡±

    ¡°You have our affirmation based on the nine days in which we have observed you.¡±

    ¡°Tsk. That¡¯s¡­ not really good enough.¡±

    ¡°What about the affirmation of one of the Web¡¯s most talented Rulers? Your new mentor, Farris Ninae?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s also not quite good enough. He doesn¡¯t know that I¡¯m the only thing standing before him and death in a couple of years now, does he? He just sees me as a future Ruler, maybe a Chosen, but not the kind of guy you¡¯re looking for. Besides, if he was so talented, then why isn¡¯t he good enough to be the savior you¡¯re looking for? Or his niece, if you¡¯re looking for a female protagonist.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t know¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that seems to be the theme of today¡¯s conversation. So could it be that he or somebody else is going to be the one to save the Web and that my efforts are not even required?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t know.¡± Sam sighed. ¡°We did not posses knowledge of his person before you have met him. Nor of any other people of his caliber. But, we are sure that we took it into consideration before. After all, we have chosen to join our consciousness to your self for a reason.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, a hundred years ago! Who knows what changed in the meantime? Perhaps that Battle of Shallenet that everyone keeps talking about was the supposed Armageddon of the Web, but it was thwarted by some new talented heros who aren¡¯t me.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not¡ª¡±

    ¡°Obviously not cause otherwise you would have returned me five years before the battle. But I¡¯m just giving you an example.¡±

    ¡°We do not know what happened in that battle, same as you. Nor do we know what the current state of the Web and its strongest individuals is. But we do know this, if there was someone as strong as you are supposed to become in order to save the Web, then you would have known about it by now. The state of the war would not be as it currently is.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good. Phew. And here I was worrying that I¡¯m not going to live through the apocalypse. But you still can¡¯t be sure whether there is someone out there who is going to be as strong as I¡¯m supposed to be in order to save the Web, right? Oh, you¡¯re sure that there isn¡¯t. But just like you¡¯re sure that I¡¯m more than up for the job and that you did a background check before kidnapping me, you aren¡¯t one-hundred percent certain. So there¡¯s a chance, that not only am I going to break down in the process of becoming your prophesied savior and fail. That my failure wouldn¡¯t even matter because someone out there is going to do my job for me.¡±

    ¡°Would those chances being real prevent you from doing what we require of you?¡±

    Sam laughed. Hollow and sorrowful at the same time. But he was left with a smile on his face. A small point in his favor. ¡°No. I guess not. I¡¯m not the kind of guy to risk the lives of everyone in the world. Fuck. I¡¯m not even the kind of guy that would take a risk with the lives of much fewer people¡­¡±

    He took a deep breath, mind wandering to shores that perhaps weren¡¯t the most healthy for him to visit. ¡°I did think about this sort of thing, you know? In my own morbid sort of way. The value of my life as compared to other people. Or how many people does it take for my death to save for me to be willing to lay down my life?

    ¡°Oh sure. We all have our clear answers. Somewhere around a million you¡¯re going to find that everyone who isn¡¯t an awful person had already laid down their lives. But of course, it¡¯s so easy to say that you¡¯re going to give your life away compared to actually doing it. Fuck, what we¡¯re actually talking about is even harder. It¡¯s still my life that I¡¯m giving away, but instead of it being one and done I have to keep living it, struggling through its hurdles, in order to make the trade between it and other people¡¯s.

    ¡°I really thought about this sort of thing¡­ I really did. The difference between killing yourself to save others, and being tortured in hell for all eternity in order to do it. And the problem with the second one is that if you can take back your choice at any point during your torment, then any living being will eventually do it. Of course, our scenario is not being tortured in hell, but rather suffering through math again, to be flippant about the whole endeavor. To be blunt about it, it¡¯s living a long life, or how many years it takes me to win this war, through hurdles and conditions that, by all rights, should just about break me sooner or later. And that, my friend, is what I¡¯m really scared of.

    ¡°Because I know that I can, I hope that I will, lay down my life if it means saving so many people. Fuck, I fantasized about doing just that, in my own twisted way, when I was feeling quite down with my worth as a human being and negatively judging the way the world was going. Trading not my life, but my death, for what I saw as the betterment of humanity. Where my death would somehow be the linchpin that will bring down the ambition of would be authoritarian leaders. Or, even more naively, that it would showcase the true face of violent political discourse to those that thought to support it proponents. One dead Sam somehow equaling the triumph of liberal democracy.

    ¡°Well that¡¯s the fantasy at least. Dying is an easy solution to all the world¡¯s ills. Fantasizing about an impactful death, that your own death, in contrast to all the other needless ones, will somehow be worth more, is even easier still. Going about life, giving it my all? That¡¯s way harder. I¡¯m going to do that. Sure, you don¡¯t have to worry¡­¡± He gave a small laugh. ¡°But I¡¯m also going to complain all the way there¡­ You still with me Web-Web?¡±

    ¡°We are.¡±

    ¡°Things would be much easier if you could just kill me and somehow use me as a nuke against the Epiraks, right?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps. But would they necessarily be better? We are not as well versed in ethics as you are, but we do not think so. Your life, like everyone else¡¯s, is worthwhile and there is no reason to spend it without just cause. We assure you, our purpose for you is not to be spent as a weapon in the fight against the Epiraks. In fact, it is not to be spent at all. The Web will be less served by your death, even were it as fantastical in its impact as you wish it to be, than by you living a long life in service of it.

    ¡°We have strayed from the intended purpose of this conversation, but we hope that it has served you well, nonetheless. We will contact you if there is something you need to know or if you¡¯ve deviated from the optimal path, as promised. But we believe that it would take quite a long time for the second to happen, if at all. Goodnight.¡±

    ¡°Huh.¡± Sam chuckled. ¡°They finally learned how to end a conversation¡­ Maan¡­ I really got myself into a right mood, huh? Fuck it. They said I¡¯m doing well. Let¡¯s just watch Friends before going to sleep. I¡¯ve already read enough for today.¡±

    If Sam was a betting man, then he would have bet that tonight was finally going to be the night that he was going to have trouble falling asleep. But he wasn¡¯t, so he didn¡¯t bother even mentally betting against himself. Another thing he wasn¡¯t, was comfortable being happy for himself. So no one blame him for failing to reflect on the fact that tonight was probably the fastest he had even fallen asleep in his life.

 Chapter 60

    One of the most annoying experience in the world has got to be waking up happy after going to sleep sad. The utter gall of your mind to move on, without your conscious input, from one eminent emotion to another. It was as though your previous feelings were wholly invalid, and while you were sleeping, your brain had had time to reset itself and get rid of the bugs in its system. And the trouble didn¡¯t stop there, unfortunately. Because the rational person, recognizing that their psyche had been diverted without their say so, would naturally begin to feel anger at that fact. Which, of course, would have then resulted in an oxymoronic spiral as the person began bouncing back and forth between being mad at being happy and not being mad because they were happy.

    ¡°Screw this.¡± Sam cut off the flow of his natural thoughts by throwing the blanket off of him and getting out of bed. ¡°Stupid bloody magic brain.¡± Half an hour later, he left his room for his lesson with Lin, as ready for the day as a centenarian could be.

    For once, Lin was already there waiting for him with the same two identical pairs of spears from before. Evidently, Lin decided to take it easy on him today because they only spent half of the session with physical training. The other half was spent on more on the theoretical art of fighting, with Lin instructing him on the rationale that should be guiding his footwork. They parted after a longer session than their two previous ones. Sam had a quick shower before grabbing breakfast and something small for lunch and heading back to his room.

    Once back on home ground. He finished the next chapter that he had forwent yesterday. And proceeded to divide his studying time into some nice hour and twenty minutes segments with a ten-minute break in between. He was already quite ahead (although still very much behind) on his elven history, so he dedicated his time towards completing the lesson plans for the other subjects he was already familiar with. Still, he couldn¡¯t help it but peek ahead a little and see for himself whether he made sense of his supplementary material. He didn¡¯t, although there was a difference between his levels of his bewilderment, ranging from ¡°I think this makes sense, I¡¯m just lacking some more basic knowledge on the subject¡± to ¡°Yeah, I have no idea what they¡¯re talking about.¡±

    The hours came and went, and before he knew it was already four. Scratch that, actually, it¡¯s no use lying to the self. The hours did come and go, but he definitely recognized their passing and the arrival of four o¡¯clock. It would have been great if he¡¯d have been able to just ignore the passage of time and give studying all of his focus with nary a raised eyebrow. But he just wasn¡¯t that sort of person as yet. Maybe he never will be, which wouldn¡¯t necessarily be a bad thing in it of itself. Point is, he was more than happy when his alarm rang, signifying that it was time to get ready and head down to meet his friends.

    Armed with naught but his phone, (it was, after all, a picnic, so water was not required. And he was meeting his friends so conversation would provide a sufficient substitute for his need to distract himself from his own mind) he made his way down the stairs and was surprised to discover that he was the first one there. He checked the watch; it was four on the dot. He checked his phone; no messages indicating that the appointed time had moved. He checked the sky; it was still there, mocking him with its false portrayal of home.

    That bloody fucking sky! It was even worse because it truly was a beautiful day: blue as far as the eye could see and the few clouds that were there only served to accentuate their backdrop¡¯s grace. Warmth was shining down on him in a Goldilock fashion and the birds were certainly enjoying it.

    ¡°What are you frowning at the sun for?¡± Felix¡¯s voice sounded and brought him out his hate filled contemplation.

    ¡°Those fucking skies, mate! They¡¯re taunting me. I hate them! With their ocean blue color and picturesque clouds. It¡¯s all fake!¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re literally shaped by the collective conscious of every sentient being onworld, so you¡¯re really going against the grain here. Also, the clouds aren¡¯t fake, they¡¯re real. We don¡¯t control the weather, unfortunately.¡±

    ¡°What are you, some sort of sky apologist? Face it, you¡¯ve lived all your life in a terrarium with a digital top and you just don¡¯t realize that there¡¯s something wrong with that. You¡¯re sounding like a real cave dweller, by the way.¡±

    ¡°What do the cavemen have to do with this?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not¡ª¡±

    ¡°Hey guys!¡± Sarah called to them with a cheerful wave, a bright smile, and a bag on her shoulders. ¡°Sorry I¡¯m late. I just had to finish something.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine with it, but Felix is seriously offended that you dared to waste his time.¡±

    ¡°Tell Felix that he¡¯s just gonna have to grin and bear it.¡±

    ¡°You hear that sky-lover?¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Yvessa said that she¡¯s getting the stuff ready in the car, so we should go meet her.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sarah said, ¡°she wrote me just a couple of minutes ago.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sam cried. ¡°Why was I the only one that was not informed? I was waiting here like a schmuck.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s that different from usual? Ow!¡± Felix massaged the back of his head after Sarah¡¯s retaliating strike landed on him. ¡°That was uncalled for.¡±

    ¡°I agree,¡± Sam said. Sarah ignored them and began walking towards the car park. Exchanging looks, Sam and Felix turned to follow her. ¡°So who¡¯s driving?¡±

    ¡°Yvessa,¡± Felix answered. ¡°She¡¯s the only one with a driver¡¯s license after all.¡±

    ¡°Sam also has one.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sam said. ¡°But no way in hell am I driving. Now or ever. I just wanted the card as an ID.¡±

    ¡°There is an ID card, you know?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s always good to have a replacement on hand. So how come you to can¡¯t drive?¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°Didn¡¯t seem like it was worth the money for driving lessons growing up, and it¡¯s not like we actually needed a car anyway.¡±

    ¡°No use for me as well,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Unlimited money for cabs and whatnot.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s funny that out of the four of us, Yvessa¡¯s the only one that can drive a car?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Why?¡± Felix said. ¡°Because she grew up in the kingdom? That¡¯s just racist, man. She loves driving. I don¡¯t know why, but she does. It¡¯s old video games and fast cars, her only two Terran indulgences.¡±

    ¡°What about listening to me provide a one-sided and inaccurate overview of a historical event?¡±

    ¡°Mate¡­ I got bad news for you. She doesn¡¯t listen to you. It just goes through one ear and straight out the other.¡±

    ¡°I never got that idiom,¡± Sarah said. ¡°It makes no sense. If it goes through both ears, then it still passes through the brain.¡±

    ¡°What if your brain is really really small, so that if the sound travels in a straight line, it misses it?¡±

    ¡°Are you saying that Yvessa¡¯s brain is really really small?¡±

    ¡°I definitely am now.¡±

    Sam was about to voice his own opinion on the matter, but he was stopped by the sound of his old ringtone coming from his phone. ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Sam,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You guys coming?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re almost there. I think. What¡¯s the deal? You tell everyone to meet you by your car in a different format?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have to if Sarah answered my messages.¡±

    ¡°She says that you didn¡¯t answer her messages.¡±

    Sarah took out her phone with a blush. ¡°It was on silent.¡±

    ¡°She says it was on silent.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I figured as much. So are you coming or wha¡ªOh, there you are.¡±

    ¡°Where? I don¡¯t see you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m coming towards you,¡± she said and disconnected the call. Sam still didn¡¯t see her until Felix caught his eyes and pointed at her. She was really far.

    ¡°Let me guess,¡± Sam said with a sigh. ¡°There are also patterns for better eyesight.¡±

    ¡°There are,¡± answered Felix. ¡°But none of us have any yet. Maybe I never will¡­ Some people say that just regular nourishment is good enough. We¡¯ll see.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll get one eventually,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Not worth the risk of not having one when you need it.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ The imprinting seems a real hassle. Even for a simple one. And it can apparently be very disorienting.¡±

    ¡°Would you rather be a little dizzy or very ambushed?¡±

    ¡°Ooh! Can I take this one?¡± Sam asked. But by this point, Yvessa had already reached them. The four of them stood there for a second, looking at each other.

    ¡°Well?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°We¡¯re waiting for you, Yv,¡± said Sarah.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Felix said. ¡°We don¡¯t know where your car is.¡±

    ¡°Then why were you just waiting here for me to come all the way here?¡± Yvessa frowned.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just come to pick us up in your car?¡±

    ¡°How lazy are you?¡±

    ¡°Is that a rhetorical question?¡±

    Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!

    ¡°OK guys.¡± Sam took it open himself to be the grownup in the situation this time. Sarah looked like she was having way too much fun to step in. ¡°I¡¯m all for finger pointing and arguing, but let¡¯s do it in while we¡¯re inside the monstrous steel contraption because I only ate a snack for lunch today and I¡¯ve gotten used to having three full meals in the last week.¡± Any by grownup, he meant letting his egotistical tendencies drive him to action.

    ¡°Follow me.¡± Yvessa turned back the way she came from.

    ¡°Are you sure you can¡¯t come pick us in your car?¡± Felix asked with a smile.

    ¡°I can drive you over if that¡¯s what you want.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa!¡± Sarah¡¯s outburst surprised all three of them and stopped them in their tracks.

    ¡°What?¡± Yvessa asked, with clear hesitation in her voice. Sarah didn¡¯t respond verbally but lightly nudged her head in Sam¡¯s direction, her eyes telling Yvessa all that her gesture left unsaid. All heads turned to look at Sam, which was obviously too good an opportunity to let miss by not turning to look obliviously in that direction as well.

    ¡°What are we looking at us?¡± he asked.

    ¡°I think you, mate,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Seriously, Sarah, he¡¯s not a six-year-old.¡± Yvessa sighed with exasperation and resumed her walk.

    ¡°You alright Sam?¡± Sarah asked him.

    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m pretty sure my PTSD started getting overwritten once I got my legs back. And I very much doubt that it was ever anywhere close to being so bad as to be triggered by a joke about vehicular manslaughter.¡±

    ¡°Hold on now,¡± Felix said. ¡°In Yvessa¡¯s defense: she didn¡¯t threaten to kill me, just run me over a little.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right, but I don¡¯t know the criminal term for that.¡±

    ¡°Really? Isn¡¯t that what happened to you?¡± Sam saw Sarah massaging her temple in at attempt to calm herself.

    ¡°No. I fell down a manhole. Didn¡¯t Sarah tell you the story? Stephen King¡¯s van and whatnot?¡±

    ¡°Even if it wasn¡¯t true,¡± Sarah said. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to tell it to other people without your permission.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not true, so you could have at least told other people in order for them to experience my comedic storytelling genius.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s Stephen King?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Is he a famous driver?¡±

    ¡°What?! A driver? How dare you? Stephen King has never done an honest day¡¯s work in his life.¡± I¡¯m sorry Mr. King! I know that it¡¯s not true, but the joke was just right there. Please don¡¯t come back to haunt me.

    ¡°Oh, so he was an ambassador,¡± Felix joked.

    ¡°Ha ha,¡± Yvessa drawled. ¡°Speaks the child prodigy who only got his first paycheck once he enrolled here.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam objected. ¡°Don¡¯t knock off people who don¡¯t start working before college. Or during college. Or even a little bit after college.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see about that¡­ Here we are.¡± She stopped and pointed at a very fancy car, walking to the driver¡¯s door and getting in.

    ¡°Now this is a conundrum,¡± Felix said. ¡°Who wants to sit in the front next to the speed-chaser?¡±

    ¡°You are.¡± Sarah pushed him to towards the sit but was nice enough to open the door for him. She then opened the back door and gestured Sam to get in. ¡°You got everything?¡± she asked Yvessa once she buckled her seatbelt, the last one to do so.

    ¡°No¡­¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Was I supposed to bring something?¡±

    ¡°Yvessa, this is no time for jokes!¡± Felix chided her. ¡°You heard Sam. He¡¯s hungry; he hadn¡¯t eaten anything for lunch.¡±

    ¡°I brought enough food for six of us and enough drinks to get all of us properly drunk. Except Sam obviously.¡±

    ¡°Three questions,¡± Sam said. ¡°What¡¯s properly drunk? What about the drive back? And are there any non-alcoholic drinks? For those of us who actually have a sense of taste and haven¡¯t managed to trick ourselves into thinking that alcohol tastes good.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s wine if you don¡¯t like hard liquor¡ªI¡¯m joking. There are plenty of alternatives. I¡¯m not planning to drink, for example.¡±

    ¡°Well, that answers my second question. What about my first?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll leave that to Felix to explain,¡± she said as the car began to move.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be more than happy to,¡± Felix said. ¡°So, Yvessa is obviously familiar with my definition of properly drunk, but I¡¯ll tell you and Sarah my truths on the matter.¡±

    ¡°Wow.¡± Sam turned to Sarah. ¡°Is this the first thing that I¡¯ve been told that you also didn¡¯t know?¡±

    ¡°It might be.¡± She laughed. ¡°A hundred more of those, and I¡¯ll know what it was like for Felix and Yvessa not to know what happens at level 8.¡±

    ¡°Will you drop that already?!¡± Felix groaned and Yvessa supported him with her grumpy rumble.

    ¡°Yeah, Sarah,¡± Sam said. ¡°Leave it for after he tells us the thing. That way, we might be able to make fun of him for two things at once.¡±

    ¡°Hey! You also didn¡¯t know about level 8.¡±

    ¡°That has got to be the weakest clapback that I¡¯ve even been on the receiving end of. That¡¯s like making fun of Socrates for not knowing anything. By the way, did I mention to you guys that Farris just took for granted that I knew how to get to level 9 and 10? You two might be the only child prodigies in the history of the Web to not ask about it when they were like nine.¡±

    ¡°Hey! Didn¡¯t you just say that you¡¯re not going to make fun of that? And nine? That doesn¡¯t make sense. No one can be a child-prodigy at nine. Whatever. Do you want to hear my definition or not?¡±

    ¡°Will it allow us to make fun of you?¡± Sarah asked. Sam gave her a thumbs up.

    ¡°You know¡­ I don¡¯t like you as much ever since Sam came into the picture.¡±

    ¡°I think you already said something along those lines yesterday,¡± Yvessa remarked.

    ¡°Whose side are you even on?¡±

    ¡°Just tell them about your optimal theory of drunkenness already.¡±

    ¡°Fine! So here it is. The proper level of being drunk is drinking all the way until you are about to blackout and then stopping completely in order to maximize your enjoyment of your buzz.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s absurd!¡± Sam called.

    ¡°How would you know? You don¡¯t even drink.¡±

    ¡°I was actually making a reference. But I have to take offense with your assertion that I don¡¯t drink. I do, I just hate the taste of it, so I¡¯m forced to spend the big bucks on cocktails.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­ I love cocktails.¡± Sarah pursed her lips. ¡°Something sweet to wash away the day with but also makes you feel physically better. They¡¯re great.¡±

    ¡°No cocktails, sorry,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Unless you guys consider vodka and orange juice as one.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t¡­¡± Sarah pouted. Sam squeezed her shoulder for comfort.

    ¡°Wait.¡± He tapped Felix on the shoulder. ¡°Was that really the entirety of your treatise on alcohol?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ What else is there?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. How about drinking water? Eating beforehand? Designated driver? All you said was to drink a lot and hope you don¡¯t blackout. There¡¯s nothing smart about that plan.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s about discipline and knowing the self. Any idiot could tell you that if you want to get drunk, just drink as much as you can. But to truly appreciate it, one must walk the fine line between oblivion and sense. You try it if you think that it¡¯s so easy. Anyone can go over the brink if given enough drinks. It¡¯s stopping right before it. That makes life worth living.¡±

    ¡°OK, now you¡¯re just doing it on purpose.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about. Same goes for drinking water. Why would you need to drink water when you¡¯re already drinking beer? It¡¯s all water at the end of the day.¡±

    ¡°What? What the fuck are you one about?¡±

    Sarah cleared her throat. ¡°There is a level 2 pattern that can almost guarantee that you won¡¯t have a hangover.¡±

    ¡°Damn right!¡± Felix said. ¡°I never got a hangover in my life.¡±

    ¡°That just means you didn¡¯t start drinking until you were level 2,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Did you wait until you were eighteen?¡±

    ¡°Of course I did. Mom wouldn¡¯t waste money on alcohol, and I wasn¡¯t going to fuck around with doing something illegal.¡±

    ¡°And what a good boy you are. Well, if you bothered trying to get drunk before you were level 2, you would have found out that why it¡¯s so important to drink water.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah? Do you know that from personal experience?¡±

    ¡°Yes. My fourteenth birthday. It¡¯s why I don¡¯t like drinking.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam asked. ¡°It¡¯s not because of the disgusting taste? The high price? Or the fact that one shitty can of beer sets you back a whole workout calories wise?¡±

    ¡°No. I¡¯m rich. I exercise enough to eat whatever I want. And I actually like the taste of alcohol. That¡¯s why I brought non-alcoholic beer for myself.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit, what kind of psychos did you make me friends with, Sarah? These are the kind of people who wouldn¡¯t be swayed by my coke after work argument.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your coke after work argument?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you asked Yvessa. Even if you are the sort of person with a demented enough taste for my argument not to work on. And Felix, please pay attention. This is what actual opinion formulating looks like.¡±

    ¡°Get on with it.¡± Felix reached back with his hand and tried to smack Sam but was too slow for Sam¡¯s awesome agility and his Sarah Mark I¡¯s own smacking capabilities.

    ¡°Fine. Let me formulate this as simply as possible for you two weirdoes. Two assumptions: First, a bottle or can of coke has the same or roughly the same amount of calories as its beer counterpart. Two, coke is tastier than beer. What must follow is that the habit of ¡®just grabbing a beer,¡¯ as can be seen in many TV shows, e.g. Friends season six episode seventeen¡ª¡±

    ¡°Do you really remember the exact episode?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°No, of course not. Those days are long behind me. I was just making that up in order for you guys to think I was smart.¡±

    ¡°Smart isn¡¯t the word I¡¯d use,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Good memory? Lightning-fast intellect? Wait¡­ Is it handsome?¡±

    ¡°Sad.¡±

    ¡°So the trope goes, and I have designated it as a trope even though I know people who do behave in that way, is that a person will just grab a beer when they¡¯re thirsty. A single beer, in the middle of the day, just pop it off in front of the TV and drink that crap. Now, does that make sense to you based on the two assumptions that I¡¯ve previously presented? Don¡¯t answer that, of course it doesn¡¯t. Why would a person choose to just drink a single beer if there was a better alternative in the form of coke present? One beer isn¡¯t going to get them drunk, so there¡¯s much less pleasure to be had in ¡®grabbing a beer¡¯ than in the much more reasonable ¡®grabbing a coke.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Only if your assumption that coke tastes better than beer holds true,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°It does.¡±

    ¡°Maybe for you. I don¡¯t even like coke all that much in the first place.¡±

    ¡°Which is just another reason for my initial designation of you two as complete and utter psychos.¡±

    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m with you Sam,¡± Felix said. ¡°I¡¯d rather have a coke than a beer if I¡¯m not planning to get drunk.¡±

    ¡°When are you ever not planning to get drunk?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t planning to get drunk today until I found out that you brought alcohol into the picture. I didn¡¯t know that you could bring drinks to a picnic.¡±

    ¡°Of course you can. Wine is like the quintessential drink for a picnic.¡±

    ¡°Is it?¡± Felix turned to look at his fellow passengers in the back. Sam curved his mouth downward and shook his head while Sarah just shrugged with a smile. ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯re going to give that consensus.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what you think. It¡¯s wine with some nice cheese and sandwiches. That¡¯s the ultimate picnic.¡±

    ¡°Question,¡± Sam said. ¡°Do I propose before or after we drink the wine in your cliche picnic?¡±

    ¡°Obviously after.¡± Felix scoffed. ¡°You want to get their inhibitions lower so they¡¯d be more likely to agree to marrying you. That¡¯s basic stuff.¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°You guys can laugh all you want, but I¡¯m right. And since I¡¯m the one that prepared the food and drinks for today, you¡¯re just going to have to eat what I give you.¡±

    ¡°As long as you¡¯re not planning to propose.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll propose throwing you off the cliff. How about that?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re going to a cliff?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°We¡¯re going up the mountain,¡± Sarah explained. ¡°There are some great spots there that I know of from when Maurice took me as a kid.¡±

    ¡°Will there be a cliff?¡±

    ¡°If there is, you¡¯re not going anywhere near it.¡±

    ¡°Damn¡­ I really wanted to dangle.¡±

    ¡°Dangle?¡±

    ¡°Just my legs.¡±

    ¡°If you want,¡± Felix said, ¡°I could pick you up later by the hip.¡±

    ¡°Before or after we throw you off the cliff?¡±

    ¡°That was just a proposal. We haven¡¯t voted on that.¡±

    ¡°Wow. How big a proponent of popular democracy are you, to let yourself get killed by the whims of the majority?¡±

    ¡°You were going to vote me off the cliff?¡±

    ¡°Do you even need to ask that?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s it. I take back all the nice things I said about you.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯ve said any.¡±

    ¡°Not true. I told Yvessa that I liked you after the first day we met.¡±

    ¡°He did,¡± she confirmed. ¡°But I personally wouldn¡¯t take that as a nice thing. He likes a lot of questionable figures.¡±

    ¡°Name one.¡±

    ¡°Sam Anders.¡±

    ¡°Name two.¡±

    ¡°Mallor Asionalu.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ But can you name three?¡±

    ¡°That depends¡­ Do you still like Farris after having met him?¡±

    ¡°And remember,¡± Sam said after having just looked up Mallor Asionalu (some Imperial prince who posed nude for a couple of pictures apparently), ¡°that¡¯s my mentor you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°How come you never hit her for making fun of Sam?¡± Felix asked Sarah instead.

    ¡°If I did it now, then I¡¯ll also have to hit you for agreeing with her.¡±

    ¡°In fact,¡± Sam said, ¡°one could say that without your cooperation, her joke would have completely fallen flat. That would give you the majority share in the fun making.¡±

    ¡°I feel like we¡¯re forgetting the fact that I said Sam was a nice guy while Yvessa explicitly called him out as ¡®questionable¡¯¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s right Sarah. It would only be fair to throw both of them off of the cliff.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not going anywhere near the cliff,¡± Sarah said. ¡°We¡¯re just going to find a nice hilly spot with a good view and sit there. And no one¡¯s getting too drunk. Tomorrow¡¯s a weekday, in case anyone forgot.¡±

    ¡°I did manage to forget that for a couple of blessed hours, thank you¡­ Do you guys want to hear the manifesto I wrote about why it¡¯s wrong to call just a Saturday the weekend?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± all three of them answered in unison.

    ¡°Great. So I¡¯d like to start us off by examining one of the great party animals of the ancient world, Aristippus. A philosopher whose name I did just have to look up because there¡¯s no way I¡¯m going to waste precious storage space on remembering a pre-modern hedonist. And the only reason that I¡¯m willing to give the modern ones a pass is that my boy Mill could be counted among their numbers. And speaking of Mill, and that¡¯s really funny that you guys brought up Mill cause just yesterday I was thinking of his weirdo mentor¡­ So do you guys know who Lenin is?¡±

 Chapter 61

    His friends were momentarily saved from Sam going on another wild tangent by Yvessa coming up with the brilliant suggestion of Sam putting some music on. So, Sam did the only natural thing and proceeded to involve all three of them in the process of rebuilding his playlist. A chance to show the three of them what good musical taste was actually like, while also putting the finish line of the first undertaking he had begun since getting here closer in sight.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t put on any road trip songs at all,¡± Felix complained while they stepped out of the car after having easily found parking.

    ¡°What are you talking? I had Fast Car on! Even let it play all the way to the end.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not a road trip song! It was just a depressing one.¡±

    ¡°Gah! I can¡¯t win with you. First you complain that I don¡¯t listen to the songs all the way to the end, and then when I do listen you complain that I shouldn¡¯t have. If you keep up like this, then there¡¯s no way that I¡¯m letting you throw yourself off of that cliff.¡±

    ¡°Guys!¡± Yvessa called them from the back of the car. ¡°Come help. There¡¯s plenty to carry for everyone.¡±

    ¡°Everyone?¡± Sam pointed at himself. ¡°Even the only person to have exercised today?¡±

    ¡°Me and Sarah also worked out,¡± Felix said. ¡°We went to the combat class that Lin was teaching after finishing with you.¡±

    ¡°Really? What happened to not working out in the, ugh, ¡®weekend,¡¯ Sarah?¡±

    ¡°I missed a session during the week,¡± Sarah said and handed him a bag. ¡°Take this. It¡¯s not that heavy and we¡¯ll manage the rest.¡±

    ¡°Not that heavy?¡± Felix moaned. ¡°He gets to carry the blankets while I¡¯m stuck with the drink coolers? How much wine did you even bring?¡±

    ¡°You wanted to get properly drunk, didn¡¯t you?¡± Yvessa closed the trunk and locked her car. ¡°What is with you and complaining about having to carry stuff anyway?¡±

    ¡°Oh! I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t realize that my want for an equal share of the burden between all four of us was so unreasonable.¡±

    ¡°Well it is when the four of us include one little bitch of a guy, two girls and you,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Sarah¡¯s way stronger than me!¡±

    ¡°Which is why she¡¯s carrying the heaviest stuff,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Stop whining.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not whining,¡± Felix whined while they began following Sarah up the path. ¡°OK, maybe I am. But I resent having to carry stuff for other people who don¡¯t pitch in. Brings back bad memories.¡±

    Yvessa laughed. ¡°Bad memories? Like what?¡±

    ¡°Being the only guy in a five person household, maybe? With younger siblings who couldn¡¯t help with the physical house chores, and a mother who was almost always tired due to having to take care of us when she wasn¡¯t working? Who do you think was in charge of throwing out the trash? Carrying groceries back home? Picking up heavy stuff? This guy!¡± He pointed at himself. ¡°So excuse me for not wanting to relive my childhood agonies as a grown man.¡±

    Sam snorted. ¡°Grown man? You¡¯re only nineteen.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you start with me on that. I¡¯m old enough to vote and drink and that¡¯s that.¡±

    ¡°Old enough to kill,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°I mean yeah, I guess so¡­ But I wouldn¡¯t count the Epiraks as killing a real person like the soldiers did back in the old days. Can you imagine killing a person? That¡¯s real crazy stuff.¡±

    ¡°You tell yourself that now,¡± Sarah said. ¡°But when you come face to face with a Martyr and they start talking to you, you¡¯re going to discover things aren¡¯t as simple as that.¡±

    ¡°Plus, I don¡¯t think that even killing the most monstrous looking Brute is going to be as easy as you think,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Whatever.¡± Felix shrugged. ¡°As long as I don¡¯t have to carry anyone else¡¯s bag, I¡¯m going to be fine.¡±

    ¡°You really have a thing about carrying stuff,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry. I have a flaw. This one single flaw in my otherwise perfect personality. Sue me. I bet you never had to be the one to be in charge of all physical tasks when you were growing up.¡±

    ¡°Not at all. Matter of fact, never had to do a house chore until I was eighteen.¡±

    ¡°That can¡¯t be true,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t. But can you imagine if it was? Every time my parents would try and criticize me for being lazy because of that, I¡¯d be able to counter them by asking why doesn¡¯t giving the cat IV infusion count as a chore.¡±

    Yvessa burst out laughing so hard that the rest of them had to stop and look at her. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but Sam trying to completely divert from Felix¡¯s trauma by bringing up his own is just so funny.¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Felix pivoted on Sam. ¡°Were you really trying to do that?¡±

    ¡°Not consciously. It must be one of my defense mechanisms¡­ Always trying to keep the focus of the conversation on me and my suffering in order to compensate for no one caring about my emotional woes while I was growing up. I had a troubled childhood, you know?¡±

    His hands occupied, Felix had to bump Sam with his entire body in order to signal his displeasure at Sam¡¯s actions. ¡°Not cool man.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Sam held his hands up in peace (one not being occupied and the other not carrying something too heavy). ¡°For what it¡¯s worth, I was totally going to pivot to conversation back to you by bringing up my own experience with sexism.¡± This time, Sarah joined Yvessa in laughing.

    ¡°Seriously. Are you doing this on purpose?¡±

    ¡°No. But ask me what my experience was.¡± Felix turned away from him and resumed his walking, the rest of them hurrying up to catch up with him. ¡°Felix, buddy¡­? Sarah¡­? Yvessa? You¡¯re really not going to ask and force me to leave the joke untold? It¡¯s a true story.¡±

    ¡°I feel bad for Felix,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Finally,¡± Felix called out from the front. ¡°Someone with a conscience.¡±

    ¡°Felix, this is all getting out of hand.¡± Sam ran up to him. ¡°The way things are going, I¡¯ll never be able to provide my argument about why your anger at carrying stuff for me is more than justified.¡±

    ¡°Let me guess. You have a similar experience to mine as well?¡±

    ¡°Yes. But I wasn¡¯t going to bring it up. Truly. Now ask me about when my big sister was sexist towards me.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ I¡¯ll give you this chance. Why was your older sister sexist towards you?¡±

    ¡°She made fun of me for listening to the song Barbie Girl.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think we heard that song. Was it already on your playlist?¡±

    ¡°No. And it¡¯s not going to. The trauma is too much for me to bear.¡±

    ¡°How is your sister making fun of you for listening to a song sexist? Do you know the song Sarah?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s about a famous doll. Maybe because of that.¡± Sarah said, and Sam nodded in confirmation.

    ¡°That¡¯s not sexist. Maybe if she took your phone away and told you that you can¡¯t listen to songs like that, that would have been sexist, but just making fun of you isn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s more of a case of toxic masculinity, Sam.¡±

    ¡°OK,¡± Sam said, ¡°so maybe that wasn¡¯t sexist. But what about the time when I was the only boy in a five person household and had to do all the physical tasks? That isn¡¯t sexist?¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily,¡± Felix said. ¡°In my case, it was less about me being a guy than me being the oldest. Now that I¡¯m out of the house, my oldest younger sister, Gia, is picking up my mantle. Although now my mom also helps, so there¡¯s less work to be done.¡±

    ¡°OK! Maybe it wasn¡¯t sexism in your case. I apologize to you and your family. But¡±¡ªhe leaned in closer to Felix, whispering so as to not be heard¡ª¡°in my defense: I do have a very similar experience to yours, which in my case was definitely driven by sexism, and which caused me to view yours in the same lens¡±

    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you say it?¡± Felix whispered back.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to come off as trying to one-up you.¡±

    ¡°Oh. That¡¯s actually really nice of you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I also didn¡¯t really mean to divert attention from you like Yvessa¡ª¡±

    ¡°Guys, we can hear you,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Damn. I forgot about your stupid, magically enhanced bodies.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s got nothing to do with that. A ten-year-old would¡¯ve heard you.¡±

    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

    ¡°I thought we were being quiet.¡± Sam leaned even closer to Felix.

    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me, so did I.¡±

    ¡°We can still hear you,¡± Sarah said before walking between them and breaking them up.

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± Sam said. ¡°It always works in the movies. Two people start whispering to each other in order to not be heard by the rest. And most times they don¡¯t get made fun of by someone else telling them they can still be heard.¡±

    ¡°It must be because we¡¯re guys and they¡¯re girls.¡± Felix nodded. ¡°Sexism.¡±

    ¡°Why are you going along with him all of the sudden?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Maybe I¡¯m still angry that someone diverted the focus of the conversation away from me and my childhood traumas to Sam¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°He did that,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°You¡¯re the one that pointed that out and had a fit about it. We were going to slide right back into feeling bad for poor Felix and now we¡¯ll have to hear all about Sam having to go through the same thing before we can get back to me.¡±

    Sam nodded vigorously. ¡°And before we could move on to justifying his feelings by presenting my theory of relative suffering as justice. Also known as my manifesto against being screwed or fucked over. With plenty of examples from both my professional and personal life¡­ What? I have a lot of complaints.¡±

    ¡°Just tell us your own sob story so we could go back to Felix¡¯s, then,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Well, there¡¯s not much to tell. I once worked in an office where I was the only man, and not only that, but most of my coworkers were young adults in the same age range as I was. Just awful, awful work environment. I hated every second that I had to be there.¡±

    ¡°Get to the point.¡±

    ¡°Well, there¡¯s not much to the story that you haven¡¯t already figured out. I was just trying to give it some extra flavor in order for it not to seem redundant to Felix¡¯s. You got the gist of what happened. I was the only guy. I did the bulk of the physically demanding tasks whenever they propped up, even though that didn¡¯t have anything to do with my job description, and without taking into account my physical condition at any given time. Same thing for computer related problems, by the way, as we didn¡¯t have a dedicated IT department. Happy now? Can we move the focus back to someone who actually deserves our pity?¡±

    ¡°Oh? So now I deserve your pity?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Don¡¯t take it personally, Felix. I despair for every person who isn¡¯t myself. I¡¯m very caring in that way, like Jesus.¡±

    ¡°Does that mean that we¡¯ll get to put you on the cross for our sins one of these days?¡±

    ¡°Only if you behave extra naughty.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll think about. So¡­ how long till we get there?¡± Felix asked Sarah.

    ¡°A couple more minutes.¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t we just grab a spot around here?¡±

    ¡°Because, we¡¯re not anywhere near the top yet and if we aren¡¯t going to get the best view possible, then what the hell are we even doing here?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the matter Felix?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Your hand getting tired?¡±

    ¡°You know what? Now that you mention it¡­ yeah. How about you carry one of these coolers for me?¡±

    ¡°Tsk¡­ I don¡¯t know. I¡¯m just a frail, dainty woman. I¡¯m not strong enough to carry one of those.¡±

    ¡°Really, Yvessa?¡± Sam shook his head at her. ¡°We just had this conversation; Felix doesn¡¯t like being given work just cause he¡¯s a guy.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Felix said, ¡°that¡¯s you. I just don¡¯t like feeling like other people have it easier than me for no reason after a lifetime of being forced to grit my head and nod when there was an actual reason for it.¡±

    ¡°Are you really angry or are you just a little bit peeved?¡±

    Felix turned his head to consider the question for a moment or two. ¡°The second one. Especially because you are indeed pretty weak and not just being lazy.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. It is mostly laziness, though.¡±

    ¡°Then how about lending me a hand with one of these?¡±

    ¡°No chance.¡±

    ¡°So what¡¯s the deal with your cat anyway?¡± Yvessa asked Sam.

    ¡°Really? We¡¯re back to that? Even though we still haven¡¯t finished with Felix¡¯s bit?¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°Nah, we were pretty much over with mine.¡±

    ¡°Really? But I didn¡¯t even get a chance to justify you using my burning hatred of feeling like I¡¯m being fucked over.¡±

    ¡°Eh. We¡¯ll keep it for another time. Maybe for when we¡¯re both actually being fucked over.¡±

    ¡°So the cat, Sam?¡± Yvessa prompted.

    ¡°What? Oh right. Well, there¡¯s not much to tell really. She was pretty old, about nineteen at the time. Had trouble with her kidneys like almost all senior felines. Vet said that we needed to give her infusion. Some sort of medicine, I reckon. And since taking her to the vet all the damn time was going to be both very costly and counterintuitive, we decided to infuse her at home. Long story short, my parents weren¡¯t good at it. I took on the mantle, did it pretty regularly.¡±

    ¡°Did she recover?¡±

    ¡°Not really. If I¡¯m not wrong, we started giving her the treatment a couple of months before she died, so maybe we staved off her death for a month or two. Still worth it though¡­ Why are we talking about my dead cat?¡±

    ¡°You brought her up,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Fair enough. Maybe this is some sort of cosmic punishment for me stealing your thunder.¡±

    ¡°I thought that you didn¡¯t mean to do that.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t. But as we all know, Karma is not a strict Kantian, so she wouldn¡¯t give a shit about my intentions.¡±

    ¡°Any other depressing topics you two want to bring up before we end our hike?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Why are you asking? You want to give it a go as well?¡±

    ¡°No thank you. I came here to have fun and relax. Not to wallow in self misery and bitch about the past.¡±

    ¡°Is that why you¡¯re not planning to drink? Are you one of those drunks?¡±

    ¡°She can¡¯t answer that,¡± Felix said. ¡°Because then she¡¯ll have to bring up her own painful past and thus show herself as a liar.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d rather be a sad drunk than a horny drunk like you,¡± Yvessa told Felix.

    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m a sad drunk as well. First, I get horny from being drunk, then I get sad from being turned down. At least, I imagine that I do. You see¡±¡ªhe turned to Sam¡ª¡°I never actually get turned down.¡±

    ¡°I get what you¡¯re saying¡­ But for some reason, my mind just took it to mean something very dark.¡±

    ¡°Just don¡¯t accept any drinks from him, and you¡¯ll be fine,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°You guys are twisted.¡± Felix shook his head. ¡°Are we there yet, Sarah? Seems to me like we¡¯re pretty high up already.¡±

    ¡°Just about. There¡¯s this spot that I remember and I want to check out if it¡¯s empty before we look for some place else.¡±

    ¡°If it¡¯s not, we can always use physical force and remove the current occupants. What¡¯s the point of all this strength if you¡¯re not going to use it, right?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s certainly not about being able to carry heavy stuff without bitching about it,¡± Yvessa said.

    The two kept their bickering to a friendly simmer for the rest of the hike, which wasn¡¯t more than a couple of minutes. Somewhere along the way, Sarah led them away from the main path into a clearing empty of foliage that had a spectacular view of the surrounding countryside and even the far edges of the capital, Transit. ¡°That reminds me,¡± Sam said while they began to set everything up, ¡°did I tell you guys the jokes I told Sarah about the name of the capital?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Eh¡­ you¡¯re better off then. They weren¡¯t that good anyway. Now if the capital was named something like New Earth, then I would have something to work with.¡±

    ¡°Are you bringing this up because you found out that was one of the most common name for cities on New Terra?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°I sure did. I was looking through the list of most populated Terran cities and was overall pretty satisfied with the cultural and geographical variety between them. That is, until I came upon number thirty-two on the list, which sent me into a right rage when I discovered that it wasn¡¯t the only municipal unit by that name.¡±

    ¡°You think that¡¯s bad?¡± Felix laughed. ¡°I grew up on New Earth street. So it¡¯s not just settlements that get that naming treatment.¡±

    ¡°The street where the Terran embassy on Larsus is located was renamed to Earth after it was built,¡± Yvessa added.

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sam said. ¡°People sure do love that long gone blue marble, don¡¯t they?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an easy name to agree on,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Just like New Terra. We all have, had, Earth in common.¡±

    ¡°Need I remind you of my objections to the ¡®New Terra¡¯ name?¡±

    ¡°And yet you couldn¡¯t come up with a better one yourself.¡±

    ¡°Define better. Cause I could definitely have come up with some funnier ones.¡±

    ¡°Just sit down,¡± she ordered him. They had finished setting up everything by this point, with enough blankets separating them and the ground that it was easy to forget it was even there. The drinks coolers were set next to Yvessa, who took charge of them and filled a glass of their choice for each one of them as well as a smaller glass of wine.

    ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t going to drink any?¡± Sam asked her.

    ¡°Just one glass. Otherwise, how could we say cheers? You want some of this as well? You¡¯ll like it, very sweet.¡±

    ¡°No, but I¡¯ll suffer through it for the occasion,¡± Sam said and was forced to quickly set down the glass next to him once Sarah handed him a plate laden with food. ¡°You know¡­ I didn¡¯t realize that you would bring real plates. That¡¯s not really my idea of a picnic.¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°Why waste plastic when we are perfectly capable of carrying real dining ware?¡±

    ¡°Still¡­ it¡¯s not very picnicky. How will people know that we¡¯ve been here if we aren¡¯t going to leave all of our plastic trash on the ground?¡±

    ¡°Is that what you usually did on picnics?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Felix please. Look at me. Do I look like someone who goes for a picnic? The closest I ever came to one was eating takeout food at a park with a friend.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯d you eat?¡±

    ¡°Sushi¡­ I think.¡±

    ¡°Ah, of course. The pinnacle of picnic foods.¡±

    ¡°I put some sushi in that box by Sarah if you want some,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Seriously? Am I the only one that¡¯s ever been on a picnic here? You¡¯ve brought us enough food for ten people, and none of it is out of place in a gourmet restaurant.¡±

    ¡°I beg to differ,¡± said Sam, who had just finished shoving into his mouth one of the sushi from the box that Sarah handed him. ¡°I¡¯ve had gourmet sushi once or twice, OK, just twice, in my life. And by gourmet, I mean one of those restaurants that charges twice as much for a roll as any normal place, not one of those authentic Japanese ones. And this sushi is just normal.¡± This time, he dipped the piece in sauce before eating it and making yummy noises.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°I just saw that there was sushi on the lunch menu today, so I grabbed some to go cause I knew that Sarah loves them.¡±

    ¡°We have sushi in the mess hall?¡±

    ¡°We have pretty much everything in the mess hall,¡± Sarah said. ¡°The menu is just constantly changing. Another of those luxuries the academy provides that we won¡¯t have in our regular service.¡±

    ¡°Maybe we won¡¯t.¡± Yvessa chuckled. ¡°But if Farris ends up taking Sam under his wing, then he might find himself dining just as good as he is today. The higher ups and very elite units eat well. As long as they¡¯re behind the front, at least.¡±

    ¡°So what?¡± Felix asked, ¡°Farris will just give Sam some cushy job as his adjutant or whatever? Keep him away from the front lines until he¡¯s ready? You really think that he¡¯ll do that?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± answered Sam and Yvessa in unison. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I was just joking. Sam will find himself thrown to the same wolves as we will in three and a half years.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, if I can get as strong as you guys or close to it by that time. Are we really going to get thrown to the wolves?¡±

    ¡°Of course not,¡± Sarah said. ¡°We¡¯re all probably going to be placed into elite units, average level seven or thereabout. Lead by a Ruler, probably. A role that will have us see plenty of action, but overall pretty safe. They want to nurture us into becoming Rulers, not smash us against the wall until we become ones or die. Even the ningani have abandoned their old trial by fire methodology more than a century ago.¡±

    Yvessa sighed. ¡°Although I know from personal experience that there are still plenty of idiots that think those kinds of methods make for better Rulers.¡±

    ¡°Pressure makes diamond is how the saying goes, no?¡± Sam drank some of the wine in order to mollify his nerves (it was the only drink at hand). It was pretty good. ¡°So who gives a shit about all the lesser gems that we crushed in order to make one diamond in the end?¡±

    ¡°Hey! You weren¡¯t supposed to drink yet, we still haven¡¯t toasted.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I thought that it was fine because people were already eating.¡±

    ¡°We weren¡¯t supposed to start eating as well!¡± she turned an accusing eye on Felix, which caused Sam and Sarah to laugh.

    ¡°Alright Yv, calm down,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Let¡¯s have a toast right now. Everyone has their drinks?¡±

    ¡°They do now,¡± Felix said as he took the glass that Yvessa gave him. ¡°What are we toasting to?¡±

    ¡°Friendship!¡± Sam suggested.

    ¡°No!¡± Felix shot him down.

    ¡°Oh c¡¯mon! I never had the chance to toast to that. Can you imagine? Twenty-two years without fulfilling that cliche? What if I die tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Then you¡¯ll just have to wait for the next life when you go on a picnic with friends who you¡¯ve known for more than a week. Besides, you don¡¯t really want to toast to that, do you?¡±

    ¡°Nah, probably not. What do you want to toast to, Sarah?¡±

    ¡°To Sam,¡± she suggested and raised her glass.

    ¡°Any other suggestions? Felix, Yvessa?¡± Sam tried to mask the blush creeping up his face and the other two¡¯s chuckles weren¡¯t helping.

    ¡°To Earth?¡± Yvessa suggested.

    ¡°Which one?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°To both of them. Old Earth and New Terra. May the four of us keep the best of both worlds alive for centuries still!¡±

    There was no place for debate at that point. ¡°Cheers!¡± the three of them cried in response and four glasses clinked in confirmation.

 Chapter 62

    ¡°You know this is great,¡± Sam said once everyone had finished their post-toast sip, noting that just he and Felix opted to finish the whole glass. ¡°We really have an Oath of the Peach Garden thing going on right now. Now we just need to promise to see the Epiraks eradicated and we¡¯ll be pretty peachy.¡±

    ¡°Weren¡¯t there only three guys in the original story, though?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s a good point. I know what we¡¯ll do. You¡¯ll be the three brothers. And because the best characters in the romance are introduced later, that¡¯ll allow me some wiggle room in who I want to be. I call Kongming! Cause he¡¯s literally the best. Felix, you¡¯ll be Zhang Fei cause you¡¯re a drunk. Sarah, you could be Guan Yu, but only not overrated. Yvessa, that would make you Liu Bei. Want we make Erianna, Zilong, for you? That way you could throw your kid at the ground after she almost dies saving him.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Is Liu Bei supposed to be better than that other guy, Zilong?¡±

    ¡°No way.¡± Sam laughed. ¡°Zhao Yun is the second best character in the books. And Liu Bei just straight up sucks. He¡¯s so fucking bad it¡¯s hilarious.¡±

    She crossed her arms. ¡°I fail to see the humor in comparing me to such a person, then.¡±

    ¡°Oh, but he¡¯s somehow the main character. He¡¯s so boring and useless, but everyone still loves him and wants to serve him because of his supposed great moral qualities.¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t that make you a better fit for that role, then?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Except that I already called Zhuge Liang, so¡­ Nothing you can do about that.¡±

    ¡°How about we pick roles from another famous oath and I¡¯ll be Legarissa and you be Collana?¡±

    Sam leaned in to Sarah, ¡°I don¡¯t know these guys. How funny is her joke?¡±

    ¡°No idea. I don¡¯t know them either.¡±

    ¡°What?! You can¡¯t do that, Yvessa. Referencing something that no one else understands.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You just did that.¡±

    ¡°Nuh huh. Felix knew what I was talking about.¡±

    ¡°He did for me as well.¡±

    All eyes turned to Felix, who was in the middle of a bite. ¡°Is this what the sages meant when they spoke of the curse of knowledge? I hate to say this Yvessa, but as shitty as Sam¡¯s comparison was, it¡¯s still better than yours if I remember both stories correctly. Weren¡¯t Legarissa and Collana the bad guys who swore to kill the new righteous queen?¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re reading the story at face value and aren¡¯t bothering to employ even a bit of critical thinking.¡±

    ¡°My point wasn¡¯t to draw us into conversation on which fictional characters we best resemble,¡± Sam said. ¡°Because newsflash, Caillou!¡± He pointed at himself.

    ¡°All of those characters were also real historical figures,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Sure, whatever. I just needed the bald bastard for the joke. But back to my point. It was that we should be really dedicating our toast this fine evening to the goal of wiping out the Epiraks and winning this war once and for all. After which, we could all take a couple of minutes of silence in order to appreciate that beautiful sunset that¡¯s gracing our eyes.¡±

    ¡°No can do I¡¯m afraid. I only toast for one thing in any given meal. The Epiraks would have to live to fight another day.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll toast for that,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Me too. Let me fill your glass.¡± Yvessa took Sam¡¯s wine glass back from him.

    ¡°Wait, I don¡¯t want to be the only one left out.¡± Felix handed Yvessa his glass. A moment later, another cheer went up in the clearing. This time to winning the war. ¡°Sam was right. It is a really beautiful sunset. Good job picking this spot, Sarah.¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Sam blurted out.

    ¡°What?¡± Sarah asked with a laugh, having immediately figured out what he was going to complain about.

    ¡°Just realized that I complimented the shitty fake skies and the shitty fake sun.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re still on that?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Yes, I am. And I always will be. That¡¯s another promise from me, another toast if you guys are willing. To never forget the crime that is the projected prison we have been locked in.¡±

    ¡°You can go to always got to another world and find yourself with a completely different skyline if that¡¯s bothering you,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Not good enough. I won¡¯t rest until the fake skies are gone and the true heavens are returned to their rightful place, apropos peach garden.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s quite an endeavor. I dare to say that you¡¯ll find it even harder than beating the Epiraks.¡±

    ¡°Well I wouldn¡¯t be going at it alone, right? You guys will help me?¡±

    ¡°Not with this, I¡¯m afraid.¡± Felix shook his head and was joined by Yvessa.

    ¡°Sarah?¡± Sam turned pleadingly to his only remaining ally.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Sam. I like things better the way they are now. It¡¯s the same time everywhere, the seasons are all orderly. It¡¯s pretty great.¡±

    Sam grabbed his heart, shocked at the betrayal he had just witnessed. His newly minted brother and sisters and just gone and abandoned him, left him to face alone his greatest foe yet. He drew a furious breath through his nose and squinted his eyes while giving each one of the traitor three a stare. ¡°Very well. Your lives are yours to live and your destiny is yours to shape. But just know, that if you go against me on this, if we happen to meet on the battlefield, I will not go easy on you just because we were once friends.¡±

    ¡°I resent the implication that we were ever friends in the first place,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Bully for you. I have audio proof. It¡¯s a policy on mine to record people when they¡¯re saying nice things about me so I could play it back for them later if they happen to regret it.¡±

    ¡°I have the same policy, but for when people compliment me and tell me how good I am at stuff. Helps me fall asleep. Yvessa, you¡¯re the same way, but with people tell you that you¡¯re better than Zhao Yun, right?¡±

    ¡°Am not. I don¡¯t have the constant need for approval that you have. Besides, I¡¯d have to hire some actors in order to hear that.¡±

    ¡°And what¡¯s wrong with that? That¡¯s what I do.¡±

    ¡°So how different are the skies in the worlds that you guys grew up in?¡± Sam pivoted the topic back where they came from.

    ¡°Centauri is pretty much the same as here,¡± Felix said, ¡°owning to the fact that no one was living there before we settled there. The skies have a little bit red to them, because apparently that¡¯s what the first settlers thought alien skies were supposed to look like. But on most days, you wouldn¡¯t be able to see a difference.¡±

    ¡°If you want to see a difference, then you can hop over to Gehelis when you have some free time,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°There was a sizable elven settlement there before the Integration so the skies have something of both Earth and Maynil. Maynil¡¯s two suns, Earth¡¯s moon, that sort of thing.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit, two suns?¡± Sam gasped.

    ¡°Don¡¯t get too excited.¡± Sarah smiled. ¡°Remember, the skies might look different, but that rarely equates to any major physical difference between the worlds. ¡°

    ¡°Man¡­ Astrophysicists must be in shambles.¡±

    ¡°They are. And you¡¯ve already made that joke.¡±

    ¡°Yeah well¡­ Usually I don¡¯t hang out with people more than once, so recycling jokes isn¡¯t a problem.¡±

    ¡°Since we¡¯re already on the topic,¡± Felix said. ¡°Did you guys hear anything about whether we¡¯re going to train at different gravity during our first year of deployment?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re talking about high gravity, right?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Because you have that month¡¯s training in Gellas halfway through the year.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t count. First, because Gellas¡¯ gravity isn¡¯t that much lower than New Terra. What is it only seven and half meters per second?¡±

    ¡°Seven and a third. And it¡¯s second squared.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. Same thing. It¡¯s bush league compared to walking on the real moon, for example. And secondly, we¡¯re not going to do any combat training on Gellas. We¡¯re going there for orientation with the logistical center, for Christ¡¯s sake. A whole month dedicated to form filing and classroom studies.¡±

    ¡°What, you want to go to a world like Olyn? That¡¯s the lowest gravity world on this side of the Web.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say no. But you¡¯re right, I¡¯m talking more about worlds with higher gravity. Shouldn¡¯t we be trained in fighting in those conditions?¡±

    ¡°What for? The only two worlds with a significant difference in gravity on the front are Yellshaph and¡­ Nakli, I think. But they¡¯re in the east and pretty small, not some major combat zones that we should worry about.¡±

    ¡°OK, but aren¡¯t almost half of the worlds in the Caravanserai higher gravity than normal? Nezak is what? One and a half gs? And it¡¯s their home world. Doesn¡¯t it mean that there are probably going to be plenty of worlds with different gravity under Epirak control?

    ¡°Maybe¡­¡±

    ¡°Then shouldn¡¯t we train in those kinds of environment if we ever want to take the fight to them?¡±

    ¡°Or we can simply have the Rulers and high levels fight in those worlds,¡± Sarah suggested. ¡°If we end up fighting there, that is. It¡¯s not like they¡¯re going to be bothered by the higher or lower gravity.¡±

    ¡°Guess we¡¯ll have to wait and see then.¡±

    Yvessa scoffed. ¡°I think that even with the toast we just gave. No one¡¯s going to find out about the Epirak controlled worlds anytime soon.¡±

    ¡°What about if we manage to take control of a holdworld?¡±

    ¡°What if we could manage to take control of a holdworld?¡±

    ¡°We could use it to go on the offensive.¡±

    ¡°After what happened last time we tried? A whole lot of risk for not much reward.¡±

    ¡°Sarah,¡± Sam said. ¡°Exposition please.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°OK. So remember how I told you that the front is in a deadlock?¡±

    ¡°Urgh¡­ That was so long ago. Something about the western being shit and the east being blocked?¡±

    ¡°Alright, so back from the top. About twelve years ago, the ningani and Imperials decided to go on their first offensive against the Epiraks since the eastern front opened. And not to deal a lethal blow to them, mind you. But simply to shorten the front and make it easier to defend. They achieved a lot of success at the start, dislodging them from all the front-worlds, and pushing the front even further, but before too long the reinforcements we sent them had to be called back in order to help defend against a renewed offensive in the eastern front.

    ¡°Long story short, the Terran regular forces were the only ones to make it back in time for the Battle of Shallenet, the elves and deshars not being as used to rapid redeployment as us. And that¡¯s straight from the Sarechi military inquiry in the aftermath, by the way, Felix. Shallenet was almost lost, and the Accord had already begun the evacuation of Koshed. We only managed to stop the collapse of the front lines by dropping all of our nuclear arsenal on the enemy. Which bought enough time for the three eastern Chosen and the emperor to intervene. And the minute their offensive failed, the Epiraks simply packed all their Martyrs and as many of their Brutes as they could into their holdworlds, and sent them westward much faster than we could send our troops. Care to guess the end result?¡±

    ¡°The ningani and Imperials were forced to return to the same worlds they occupied before the offensive?¡± Sam offered.

    ¡°Not completely. They did manage to take control of three extra worlds. And of course the fact that those new worlds only lengthened the front didn¡¯t matter. They paid too much blood to gain them. But this matters to us, because that pretty much signaled the end for the prospects of an eastern offensive in the near future. Which is where Felix¡¯s point about us having a holdworld comes into play. Because, remember, it¡¯s the only way for a strategic force to bypass the barren worlds in the eastern front. So without a holdworld, or even with one, because I¡¯m not sure that one would really be of that much help, that means that the next offensive will probably only happen when the emperor retires because currently neither the ningani nor the Imperials are much interested in another offensive.¡±

    ¡°What happens when the emperor retires? Is the next one known to be a warmonger?¡±

    ¡°Nothing of the sort,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°We don¡¯t even know who the next emperor is going to be. But according to Imperial tradition, no two emperors can be alive at the same time. Don¡¯t ask me why, I don¡¯t know. But once the war started, another tradition began to take shape: If, but actually it always happened, so it¡¯s more like when the reigning Emperor retires, they go out in a blaze of glory. Raising an army and laying down their life to hurt the Epiraks as much as possible.¡±

    ¡°That sounds¡­ wasteful. And it¡¯s just the Pyllan emperors? It doesn¡¯t have something to do with them being Chosen?¡±

    ¡°No other Chosen acts that way at least.¡±

    ¡°Maybe all the inbreeding got to their heads.¡±

    ¡°The imperial family doesn¡¯t marry into itself,¡± Felix argued. ¡°So the fact that they¡¯re crazy doesn¡¯t have to do with their biology, but their upbringing instead.¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s noble,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Giving your life away in order to ensure a smooth succession. Also, you have to admit that it works. All new emperors manage to become Chosen pretty quickly after their ascension. I know that the elves don¡¯t have as good of a track record when it comes to that.¡±

    ¡°So does it or doesn¡¯t it have something to do with them being Chosen?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°None of us know the first thing about the Chosen, so we couldn¡¯t tell you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m with Sam,¡± said Felix. ¡°I¡¯m willing to bet that the whole sacrifice thing is some part of a dark ritual where the current emperor kills themselves in order to ensure that the next one will also become a Chosen.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not at all what I said.¡±

    ¡°But you have to admit that it makes sense.¡±

    ¡°None of this makes sense to me, so I don''t know what to tell you. Let me focus on becoming a Ruler before I have to worry about becoming a Chosen.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of, who do you think will the first one of us to be Chosen?¡±

    ¡°So, we¡¯re all slotted to becoming Chosen in the future?¡± asked Yvessa. ¡°Surpassing even the ningani in one fell swoop?¡±

    ¡°You got to dream big, don¡¯t you? So, who¡¯s it gonna be?¡±

    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

    ¡°Dan,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Out of the four sitting here.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Then no one. The Web will get destroyed before we manage to get there.¡±

    ¡°I like that line of thinking very much. Because not only are you very pessimistic about our achievements in the future, but you¡¯re even more pessimistic about that very future itself. That¡¯s dedication to craft.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just being realistic, you know? It¡¯s like I told Sarah when I first got here and she told me all about the war. We¡¯re surrounded on both sides, we¡¯re on the defensive and apparently our last try at reversing it ended disastrously. These are the kind of setups from which fantasy epics are born. The odds are stacked against our plucky heroes, and evil is about to triumph, but just at the last moment, they manage to save the day.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a difference between not winning the war and losing it,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°I know. Farris told me the same thing. He said that almost all people don¡¯t believe that we can lose the war, i.e. get eradicated by the forces of evil. But on the same hand, most people don¡¯t believe that the war can be won, i.e. that we will be the ones doing the eradicating. He also said that believing the war to be stuck in a quagmire was almost tantamount to losing it. Because fighting it for eternity is a kind of loss as well.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I heard those kinds of lines from him in the past. It¡¯s amazing that he managed to retain the same worldview that he had from before Shallenet. But I don¡¯t know if I can agree with him. The status quo isn¡¯t great, but it¡¯s fine. Most people get to live their lives without thinking about the war or being worried about it spilling into their homes. That¡¯s a victory in and of itself.¡±

    ¡°Is it?¡± Felix asked. ¡°Having to come to terms with the fact that thousands are going to die every year even when the war is completely static? I have to agree with Farris¡¯ point of view. Thinking about the war as unwinnable basically amounts to defeatism. Are you guys really satisfied with living our lives, training to become Rulers or even Chosen with the knowledge that nothing we¡¯ll do will matter because the war is going to carry on anyway?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that everything we¡¯ll do won¡¯t matter,¡± Sarah said. ¡°There have to be people like us, who strive to become strong and fight in order to keep the war as it is. And even if we happen to live in a time when there are enough people like that, it doesn¡¯t make our own efforts worthless. Think of all the lives we¡¯ll be able to save by being as strong as we can be.¡±

    ¡°So you also don¡¯t dream about ending the war?¡±

    Sarah shrugged. ¡°Sure, I¡¯d like it to be over. I¡¯m not one of those cynics who thinks that once we¡¯ve won, we¡¯ll be back to killing each other. But even if all four of us manage to become Chosen, is that really going to be enough in order to win the war? Because if it isn¡¯t, then there¡¯s no reason for beating ourselves after we¡¯ve already done everything we can do.¡±

    By this point, Sam was biting his tongue so hard that he was afraid it was going to start bleeding. So perhaps that was the reason for him opening his mouth. Or perhaps it was the psychosomatic effect from the alcohol he drank that resulted in his lowered inhibitions, despite it being chemically impossible. ¡°And what about losing the war? Are you not worried about the Epiraks doing to us what we want to do to them? Another Shallenet, only this time the nukes won¡¯t help and the line will completely collapse.¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Even in the case of Shallenet, it wasn¡¯t as dire as you make it sound. What we managed to prevent was a huge loss of civilian life as a result of the Epiraks breaching Koshed. But even if that happened, we would have managed to stabilize the line eventually, and push the Epiraks back to where they are now. It¡¯s the same case in the west. The ningani and Imperials might not be interested in another offensive adventure after they paid so much for the last one, but they were not once worried about the Epiraks managing to breach their defensive lines and spilling into civilized worlds¡­ Why? Are you seriously worrying that we could lose the war? It wasn¡¯t just a joke?¡±

    Sam straightened his back and looked up in avoidance. ¡°Of course it was a joke. I don¡¯t know the first thing about the war and the forces arrayed on either side. But¡­ I just think it¡¯s weird about how nobody¡¯s worried that losing the war is a possibility. I mean, even in America during the Second World War, there were worrywarts who thought that it might lose the war, as ridiculous as that is, knowing what we now know. And unless I¡¯m mistaken, we don¡¯t have nearly as much of the advantage that the US had against its enemies back then.¡±

    ¡°I guess you¡¯re right¡­¡± Felix hummed. ¡°It¡¯s certainly never crossed my mind that losing was a real possibility. That I, the friends I made in the military, might die, sure. But that my family would die? The people I grew up with? Never even once. Maybe it¡¯s because we¡¯re so removed from the actual fighting. Maybe the deshar children in Koshed and the like, grow up with nightmares about Epiraks coming to kill them and the Web being destroyed. But I never worried about it.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± Yvessa. ¡°From what I¡¯ve heard of the deshars, they are the most optimistic about our chances of truly winning the war. Actually, now that I think about it, I seem to remember Farris telling us about a survey that he helped fund amongst deshar, Terran and elven civilians. With questions concerning what they thought about the state of the war, the same stuff that we¡¯re talking about. Apparently the deshars were the most optimistic on average, believing in a higher possibility of winning the war and a lower risk of losing it. But I don¡¯t think that it¡¯s just you, Sam, that¡¯s worried about losing. I remember E¡ªa friend of mine, having frequent nightmares about the Epiraks conquering Maynil and burning down Larsus to ash. But I think they started only after Shallenet. What about you, Sarah? Did the prospect of losing ever cross your mind?¡±

    Sarah scoffed. ¡°Hardly. That would have been nigh-impossible with Maurice trying to convince me from the moment I had the translator that the war was going to stay the same no matter what I chose to do with my life, so I didn¡¯t have to join the army if I didn¡¯t want to. I was never worried about all the races dying but only about the single soldier who¡¯s going to die because I wasn¡¯t there to save them. Still¡±¡ªshe squeezed Sam¡¯s shoulder¡ª¡°I think I understand you well enough at this point to know what you are worried about and going through. It seems reasonable to you that we might lose the war or that there¡¯s at least a chance of it happening. So if defeat is a possibility, however distinct, then you are obviously going to want to do everything in your power to prevent that, just like me and saving even the single soldier. So it makes sense that you want us to be worried about losing the war the same way that you are because otherwise, how could you be sure that we¡¯re doing everything in our power to prevent that?¡±

    Sam couldn¡¯t help but laughing, but keeping his eyes upward, he bit his lips to make sure that he won¡¯t start crying. ¡°I¡¯m really flattered that in the case you¡¯ve described, it¡¯s you guys that I¡¯m worried about and not myself. That I¡¯m so sure of being able to do everything in my power to prevent us losing the war that it¡¯s you guys that I¡¯m worried about not doing enough.¡± He chuckled, ¡°That¡¯s a mighty high opinion of myself that you have there.¡±

    ¡°So what?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°You¡¯re worried about not being able to save us from losing the war, in the event that such a thing is indeed possible, all on your own? That¡¯s idiotic.¡±

    ¡°Look, I realize that it¡¯s very self-serving of me to put myself us the only thing between our survival and evil¡¯s triumph but you have to admit that there¡¯s some sense in acting as though that is true if I want to make sure I end up as strong as I possibly can be.¡±

    ¡°No, I understand that. If you believe that there¡¯s a chance we can lose, then it¡¯s more than reasonable to be worried about your own role in preventing that from happening. Doing everything you can to become strong, training as hard and as much as humanely possible. What¡¯s idiotic is you being worried about that, as though only you have the responsibility to prevent such a tragedy from happening. If you want to believe that you¡¯re the only one standing between us and doom, that¡¯s fine. I can certainly see how someone in your situation could come to that conclusion.

    ¡°But thinking that you could ever become strong enough to defeat the Epiraks on your own is not. Even if you do end up becoming a Chosen, hell, even the strongest Chosen in the Web, it still won¡¯t be enough to win the war. Wars are fought between armies, not individuals. If you have no one backing you up, you¡¯ll stand alone against the whole array of the Epiraks¡¯ forces. So yeah, if you want to see yourself as a hero sent to save us from evil, then go ahead. You won¡¯t be my first friend with such delusions of grandeur and too much weight on their shoulders. But only worrying about how hard you train, how much you study and how strong you will end up being will cause you to fail in your quest spectacularly. What Sarah said was right, if you¡¯re worried about the war than worrying about yourself is only half the job, the rest of it is worrying about other people because I assure you, if we truly are fighting for civilization itself, then none of us our training hard enough.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Sure. And I agree with you on principle. But right now I can¡¯t influence what other people do or think, move the gears of war for the entire Web. I can only worry about myself and what I do and think.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± asked Felix. ¡°We¡¯re your friends, aren¡¯t we? Can¡¯t you influence us as well? Convince us to train harder, to study more?¡±

    ¡°Maybe. I don¡¯t know. But I don¡¯t think that you guys aren¡¯t doing enough as it is. From what I saw of you, at least.¡±

    ¡°Ha! You heard that, Yvessa? Sam said that we¡¯re doing enough as it is. That in the event that the Epiraks come storming in to New Terra, we can rest easy in the knowledge that we couldn¡¯t have done more. Mate, didn¡¯t you just hear her saying that we¡¯re for sure not doing enough if you¡¯re right? We¡¯re having a picnic, for fuck¡¯s sake. And unlike you or Sarah, we didn¡¯t work ourselves to the bone for the entirety of last week.¡±

    ¡°You two don¡¯t need to play catch up like I am.¡±

    ¡°So what? If we can train harder and become stronger faster, shouldn¡¯t we be doing that all the time?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s different¡ª¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Because we¡¯re not as special as you? Our potential lower?¡±

    ¡°No! Of course not! It¡¯s because I¡¯m¡­ that is¡­ You guys aren¡¯t worried about losing the way I am, so it would be irrational to demand you to work harder for no reason.¡±

    ¡°How is that irrational?¡± Felix laughed. ¡°You¡¯re saying that there¡¯s a chance we¡¯re all going to die and now you¡¯re asking me to not do all in my power to prevent that? That¡¯s irrational.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not telling you guys anything.¡±

    ¡°Well maybe you should. Like Yvessa said, if you¡¯re worried about defeat being a possibility, then you¡¯re making a mistake just focusing on what you can do in order to prevent that with only your own strength. Shouldn¡¯t you at least try and convince as to your own line of thinking? Rationally speaking?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± Sam sighed. ¡°The whole discussion is moot anyway, as well as depressing. Can we just move on?¡±

    ¡°Not just yet,¡± Sarah said with her trademark finality. ¡°We¡¯re here to have fun and relax. So no one¡¯s leaving with their mind in turmoil, alright? We¡¯ll finish this discussion first, get to the bottom of it, until everyone¡¯s satisfied. So, Sam, are you worried that it¡¯s possible for us to lose the war?¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°A little bit.¡±

    ¡°And are you also worried about not doing enough to prevent that from happening?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a reasonable assumption to make.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa, Felix, do you agree?¡±

    Yvessa nodded. Felix crossed his hands. ¡°No. But only because I don¡¯t think that it¡¯s reasonable to worry about losing the war.¡±

    ¡°Pretend that it is.¡±

    ¡°Then yeah. Sam¡¯s worry is more than reasonable. It should carry to pretty much every rational person that wants to keep living. Twice as much to people like us. Hell, maybe three times as much for someone like Sam..¡±

    ¡°Alright. In that case, do you think that Sam has been as working hard as he ought to have been in the last week if he was indeed aiming to do all that he can to prevent us from losing?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I should say so.¡±

    ¡°And you Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°I agree as well.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sam was flabbergasted. ¡°You¡¯re always going on about me not trying hard enough.¡±

    ¡°Those two aren¡¯t mutually exclusive.¡±

    ¡°They pretty much are,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Not at all. I was encouraging Sam to work harder on a case-by-case basis, believing that he could still push himself some more and get better results out of himself. Overall, I believe his conduct is more than adequate, even for someone trying to carry the whole Web on their shoulders.¡±

    ¡°That makes no sense.¡±

    ¡°Never mind that.¡± Sarah waved her hands between the two of them. ¡°We¡¯re back to you, Sam. Do you acknowledge that both Yvessa and Felix believe that you¡¯ve been training as hard as you should have been in the last week? Even in the case that you are training to prevent the Epiraks winning?¡±

    ¡°Yes. But I¡¯m not sure that I agree with them.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you don¡¯t, but that¡¯s neither here nor there. You will have to defer to the three of us, six of us, if we also question your three teachers, because we have more expertise on the subject than you.¡±

    ¡°Maybe¡­ That¡¯s an interesting question you¡¯re raised. About the validity of experts¡¯ opinion as opposed to your own. Especially considering¡ª¡±

    ¡°None of that now. We¡¯ve all agreed that this last week if you¡¯ve been training hard enough to meet your goal. So now, the only thing that you should be worried about, when it comes to your own performance, is maintaining the same amount of effort that you put in last week for the foreseeable future. Right?¡±

    ¡°Yes! Exactly! Even if I did work hard enough this week, what are the chances that I¡¯ll be able to keep it up for a whole year?¡±

    ¡°How about you wait and see for another week before you start worrying about it?¡± Felix suggested.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be an idiot Felix,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Sam¡¯s is a very reasonable worry. That¡¯s why I¡¯ve been advising him to keep pushing himself as hard as possible. I¡¯m sure that he¡¯ll be able to keep going like this for quite some time. But, at some point in the future, he¡¯s going to come up against a wall and feel like giving up and taking it easy on himself. That¡¯s only human, and no one is immune to feeling like that. But for now, as long as he¡¯s got momentum, the harder he pushes himself, the stronger a habit he builds and the easier it¡¯ll be for him to keep going when the going gets rough.¡±

    ¡°Oh please¡­ He¡¯s going to be fine. Besides, it¡¯s not like his future is going to be as hectic as the last week and more has been. Things are only going to get easier from now on. And if he does end up feeling a little high-strung, then it¡¯s just a sign from his body that he needs some rest and to take it easy for a time in order to maintain optimal training conditions.¡±

    ¡°And what about Sam¡¯s assumption or worry that he will have to save the Web himself?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t taking it easy be going against it?¡±

    ¡°What are you asking me for? I just said that it isn¡¯t. Resting is an important part of training.¡±

    ¡°Well, there you have it, Sam. Two opinions about your future that aren¡¯t mine and are thus valid. Yvessa thinks that while it¡¯s reasonable to worry about keeping the same pace that you¡¯ve had last week, we all know that you¡¯re going to be able to keep it for at least a couple more. At which time you¡¯ll have already built up the habit and thus find it easier to keep the same schedule as you are now. And Felix deems it irrelevant because he thinks that even if you do end up taking it easy that it¡¯s going to be better for you in the long run.¡±

    ¡°OK,¡± Sam said with a sour tone and crossed his hands. ¡°Want to know what I think? Fuck you guys. I¡¯m just going to jump off of the cliff and doom you to dying to the Epiraks. Where do you get the nerve to psychoanalyze me like that?¡±

    ¡°I learned it from watching you!¡± Felix pointed at him.

    Sam laughed. ¡°Fair enough. So what¡¯s Sarah Khan¡¯s opinion on the matter of my effort being spent? Let me guess: even if I am as pivotal to the war as I worry I am, I¡¯m already doing more than enough, so it¡¯s OK for me to take it a little easier. Is that about right?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you just rail against me for psychoanalyzing you?¡±

    ¡°So what? Didn¡¯t I tell you guys that I¡¯m a hypocrite like a dozen times already?¡±

    ¡°Oh, like we¡¯re supposed to remember everything you tell us about yourself?¡± Felix drawled. ¡°You always make up new stuff. Like just today, when you said that you¡¯re worried about being the hero sent to save us from the Epiraks. That¡¯s the second biggest logical leap we¡¯ve made today, by the way, right after agreeing that there¡¯s a chance we can lose the war.¡±

    ¡°Really? That¡¯s the not as big of a logical leap?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Eh. Take it as a compliment. I read books too, you know. And you being a hero makes much more sense to me than us somehow losing the war all of a sudden.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s probably all Farris¡¯s fault for him worrying about that,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Farris isn¡¯t a defeatist, but he does take the risk of us losing to be much more tangible than most people. I¡¯m sure that he infected Sam with some of his worries. Which was especially effective because Sam doesn¡¯t have the same immune system we have in the form of growing up with the war ever present. And once Farris got Sam worrying about losing the war, it¡¯s one very small leap for Sam, despite what you said, to start worrying about his role in preventing that from happening.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sam lied in agreement, seeing the opportunity to divert some of the attention away from him. ¡°And his talk of Taken being chosen by a benevolent and intelligent force certainly didn¡¯t help, what with my pre-existing delusions of grandeur and heroics.¡±

    ¡°Well, well,¡± Felix said. ¡°Looks who¡¯s so quick to throw his new mentor under the bus. Maybe I ought to relay this information to General Farris. Maybe it will cause him to reconsider someone else for his being his mentee¡­¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not going to work for two reasons. One, he¡¯s like me and feels more comfortable when the people close to him say bad things about him than otherwise. And two, you hate elves, in case you forgot.¡±

    ¡°Ach, we¡¯re back to that again?! I don¡¯t hate elves. I have some very reasonable and understandable complaints with their and the other races¡¯ treatment of us Terrans.¡±

    ¡°Face it. You¡¯re one podcast away from becoming a full-blown racist.¡±

    ¡°Then wouldn¡¯t making Farris my mentor be a surefire way to prevent that from happening?¡±

    ¡°Oh give it up already. That weirdo had already latched on to me. And you¡¯re just interested in him for spear lessons anyway. I already said that I would get you into those.¡±

    ¡°But can you really?¡±

    ¡°I dunno. Maybe? The dude isn¡¯t actively teaching me anything, you know that, right? But if he does end up training me in spearfighting, I¡¯ll make sure that you¡¯re also invited.¡±

    ¡°Sweet! I can already feel the anti-elven sentiments of mine melting away.¡±

    Yvessa laughed. ¡°It¡¯s about time. And speaking of sweets. I¡¯ve brought two cakes, ice cream, cookies and some candies. Who wants what?¡±

    ¡°Everything please!¡± Sam presented his plate forward. ¡°God, I love cake. Did you guys ever have cake for breakfast? That¡¯s probably one of my favorite meals in the world.¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Felix said. ¡°I know just what you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s another benefit of coming here, you know?¡± Sarah said between mouthfuls of sugary goodness. ¡°We get to each so much more while still being healthy and maintaining calories.¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± Yvessa shrugged. ¡°They¡¯re alright. I¡¯m not really a big fan of sweets.¡±

    ¡°Does that mean that I could get your share of the cake?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°No. I¡¯m still going to have some. It would be rude not to.¡±

    ¡°It would be ruder to not give the cake to someone who enjoys it more,¡± Sam muttered, but then immediately clasped his hand to his mouth. ¡°My god what did I just say?! That was positively utilitarian of me.¡±

    Felix tsked. ¡°Disgusting. I think that you should give up a slice to someone else in atonement.¡±

    ¡°Not a chance. I don¡¯t share desserts.¡±

    ¡°Now on that, we can finally agree.¡±

    ¡°By the way, we¡¯ve never settled on how we are going to win the war,¡± Sarah said with a smile.

    ¡°She¡¯s right,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°We just agreed on doing it and then we did a complete 180 and focused on how not to lose the war.¡±

    ¡°I move that we split up.¡± Felix burped. ¡°Two of us we¡¯ll go west, two east, we¡¯ll push the Epiraks from each direction, and at the exact north. I call west!¡±

    ¡°Oh please, you just want to go to a high gravity world, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°You damn right I am. You know what a common trope is that training in higher gravity makes you a stronger fighter? Back me up here, Sam.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do that, I¡¯m afraid. You see, you guys are my companions, and one of my biggest pet peeves in games is companions leaving mid-journey or not returning for the sequel. We¡¯ll have to stay together. And we can¡¯t go west because that¡¯s a cliche.¡±

    ¡°How come you¡¯re the PC and we¡¯re the companions?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°That¡¯s just makes the most sense. I¡¯m the one with the most unique background, after all. You¡¯re not suggesting that we be one of those games where the player character plays second fiddle to the companions, are you?¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t have to be any main character, though. We could all be equally important as party member.¡±

    ¡°Nerds!¡± Felix bellowed through his cupped hands.

    Sarah laughed. ¡°All of us are studying for most of the day, six days a week. We¡¯re all nerds.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but we¡¯re studying in order to become awesome soldiers, and that¡¯s cool. Now can we please make a vacation plan for one of these high-gravity ningana worlds? Don¡¯t we companions deserve a break?¡±

    ¡°So now you¡¯re completely on board with being Sam¡¯s companion?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Dude¡­ he¡¯s got a fucking Ruler for a mentor. I¡¯m not going up against a protagonist like that.¡±

    ¡°So do plenty of people.¡±

    ¡°Like who?¡±

    ¡°Erianna.¡±

    ¡°OK then, so when Erianna gets here, she can have a go at Sam. Until then, we should all be happy following in his footsteps.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll be going backwards,¡± Sam said. ¡°But your blind devotion convinced me. I¡¯ll write to Farris, see what he can do about that high-grav training camp.¡±

    ¡°None of you is going anywhere until you finish your studies, cadets,¡± Sarah said in a mock-stern voice.

    ¡°To finishing our studies then.¡± Felix raised his cup in the third toast of the evening.

    ¡°To finishing our studies,¡± they cheered.

    ¡°Technically, I already finished my studies, so I feel like I should get another toast,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Really?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°What did you study?¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Alright, what do you want to toast to, Sam?¡±

    ¡°To the end of history!¡±

    ¡°What the hell does that mean?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. It¡¯s an inside joke. It¡¯ll make sense in the long run.¡±

 Interlude: Princess

    Erianna Ninae, second-born of the Queen of Sarechal, Duchess of Yllantore, Sworn Blade of the Heir, Blessed Thread-Weaver, was having a shitty day. Which, if you were intimate with her and were privy to her inner thoughts, you could have also figured out just by the nature of the way she was just thinking of herself.

    When she was down, Erianna had the habit of distancing herself from the present moment by thinking of herself in the third person and heaping some of her ¡°hard-earned¡± titles along with it. It didn¡¯t always have to make sense. Usually it didn¡¯t. She had only been to Yllantore once in adulthood, to shake the hand and receive the fealty of the newly elected World-Guide, before going back home after only staying the one night. Nor did she think her being a Thread-Weaver had anything to do with the scared or spiritual. That was a deshar belief after all. But one day she¡¯ll be in command of many deshars, so it was only prudent of her to know and respect their customs like she did her own.

    Obviously right?

    Only she didn¡¯t feel very much like respecting her own customs today, a couple of steps down from the usual begrudging weariness she allotted to all things that she had to do and endure solely because of who she was born as. Of course, Alan, her brother, was having a much harder time than she was with having to endure needlessly complicated cultural obligations. But Alan always had a better temperament than her, which may or may not have been the reason why he actually valued the ceremonial roles bestowed upon them by their birthright.

    But Alan was their mother¡¯s heir; the future monarch, whose executive duties will be directly interlinked with his customary ones. She, on the other hand, was their uncle¡¯s heir; future commander in charge of the entire Sarechi (and for now Terran as well) military structure (barring, of course, whatever complexities may arise from her grandmother dying before Farris having managed to become a Chosen). She, as a soldier and a general, had no place or reason to continue holding on to antiquated customs, useless ceremonies, and time-wasting pleasantries. The elven military had already started the process of eschewing most of the past¡¯s trappings and confinements on it long ago. A process which her uncle was more than happy to expedite.

    So why was she, for all the fucking Drowned Spirits¡¯ sake, forced to endure a whole fucking day of useless vigil for all the noble-born Royal Academy graduates who have died in the last decade since Shallenet?! Two years ago, and her brother would have been the one forced to carry on the vigil (and he probably would have been happy to do it, the bastard) in her stead. But, three years older than her, he had already graduated, free to begin his (hopefully) decades long apprenticeship under their mother. So there was no one else to preform the sacred royal rite, which aimed to show just how deeply the royal line appreciated the sacrifices its faithful nobles made for it.

    ¡°What faithfulness?! What sacrifice?!¡± she wanted to scream at the sapphire studded walls of the emptied academy¡¯s Coral Hall, which imprisoned her for the last (almost) twenty-four hours. The nobility only accounted for fifty percent of the overall graduates in the last year (their percentage of deaths in the front was much lower however) and the academy served to entrench their power just as much it helped train them to fight for the kingdom¡¯s sake! And it¡¯s not like they were just fighting for the monarch¡¯s whims after all. It wasn¡¯t two centuries ago, and they weren¡¯t fighting silly border wars with the Empire anymore. They were fighting for the survival of all intelligent races in the Web. If they wouldn¡¯t fight, then they would just end up dying, fodder for the Epirak hordes.

    ¡°Fuck them!¡± she wanted to scream as well. Only she couldn¡¯t scream because the hall had acoustics like a motherfucker and everyone outside (and there was also a vigil outside, because of course there was) would hear her.

    Instead, she gnashed her teeth and bit her lips and tried to avoid thinking about the fact that if she wasn¡¯t forced to forsake eating for three days and drinking for one before entering the vigil, then she could have used the time for something useful instead. Some cultivating maybe, or perhaps she could try to sharpen her Threadsight (every little bit got her closer to her goal). Maybe, if she could have ensured she wouldn¡¯t be heard, she could have practiced her combat forms as well. But it was all a moot point because she was starved and dehydrated and couldn¡¯t muster much more energy than for the easiest techniques of gathering. The bastards couldn¡¯t have waited until one more year or so? For when she made it to level 5 and could imprint some sustenance patterns to make the whole ordeal not as wasteful?

    Of course, one of the bastards in question was most definitely her mother (who would not have let the academy conscript Erianna for the vigil if Erinna didn¡¯t consent to it). And her mother would have also made the calculation that having Erianna take part in the ceremony while she was still level 4 would better serve her purpose in having the ceremony in the first place, placating the noble families and assuaging the fears of certain factions among them concerning their waning influence. And the most annoying thing was that her mother was right, this one (or even four) wasted day wasn¡¯t going to be the barrier between her and becoming a Chosen in the future. The lost value of her not being able to study and train was more than gained in the political clout that she won for her mother and brother.

    But she wouldn¡¯t have to win political clout if there wasn¡¯t a sizable portion of nobility that was deathly allergic to any sign of reform and dreaded losing the unearned powers they held even more than getting killed by Epiraks. She also wouldn¡¯t have to do this if people didn¡¯t give age-old customs mystical importance just because they were age-old. What was her wasting her time in this suffocating hall meant to achieve for the dead? If people really cared for them and their sacrifice, then they would leave her well alone, let her train so that she could begin to wield real influence on the battlefield as soon as possible.

    She let out a breath, bringing her composure back under control. She didn¡¯t have a watch with her (having not been invented three thousand years ago or whenever this ritual was first thought up of) but she always had her time keeping pattern active since she imprinted it six years ago, ever since the moment she could, having made level 1. It counted twenty-four rotations for the day with six rotations for the hour and currently she was on the twenty-third and fifth since being closed in here. Or in other words, it was almost six in the morning of the very next day, because only insane people used the pattern as a timer and not as a substitute for a clock (trace thorough it for the very first time when the clocks strikes midnight). And since it was almost time for the doors to be opened and for her to be let out, she repeated her measured breathing a couple more times. She wasn¡¯t going to let anyone see her rattled or annoyed. She¡¯ll save it for the meal that was waiting for her back home, and the practice-dolls in the family training yard.

    The seconds passed like seconds always do when you start counting minutes instead of hours and she quickly grew tired of maintaining calm for the sake of it. Slipping into her core (still not anywhere close to malleable) she began cultivating by the most basic of techniques that she had long graduated from. But that she always kept coming back to them when she was feeling down or too tired to train in all earnest. Something about the simplicity of blind seeking, sort of like fishing just not boring, always managed to calm her down, and she always perked up when comparing the difference the years had made in her ability with excavating.

    She barely finished two dozen cycles when she heard the grating of the ancient doors opening (another stupid custom: they were the same doors from the old Royal Academy¡¯s Opal Hall. They didn¡¯t care about the old hall itself or all the bloody gems adorning it, but the doors were somehow important enough to carry all the way to the new building). She opened her eyes to see the academy¡¯s dean enter, flanked by its Master of Customs (a nice enough woman for someone that was in charge of what was probably, in most students¡¯ eyes, the most negative aspect of their stay here) and General Leshei, head of security for the academy and the only other companion of her vigil who stayed the whole twenty-four hours.

    The dean reached her, sitting crossed legged in the middle of the hall, and with a bright smile, bent down to hand her a silk towel perfumed with olive oil. ¡°Your Highness,¡± he said, a form of address he was not required to keep due to her attending the academy but still retreated to on formal occasions such as this one. ¡°You have served your kingdom with great equanimity. The living thank you and the dead forgive you. Will you stand and end your vigil?¡±

    Erianna gave a silent nod and without making a single sound, she stood up, dabbing her forehead, chin, and right ear with the towel. She handed it back to the dean, and returned their customary deeper than normal bow with her own customary bow for the occasion (some more time wasted due to stupid customs, and this one might actually have an effect on the world at large considering she had to keep practicing in formal behavior well after twelve). She smiled her long trained court smile back at the three of them and waited for them to start shifting nervously, in unconscious recognition that what they were all doing was utterly ridiculous, before she would speak up and officially dismiss them.

    She didn¡¯t get a chance, though, because out of the corner of her eyes she recognized the effects of the movement of some all too familiar threads outside the door. And soon, like destiny, her brother appeared in the doorway, his politically correct and better maintained bright smile plastered upon his face. ¡°Gentlefolk,¡± he said, his voice inoffensive as vanilla ice-cream, ¡°my sister just had a long dance of the twins. Might I be excused in taking her away back to the palace? There is some family matter of relative urgency that I wish to discuss with her.¡±

    ¡°Of course, Your Highness, of course.¡± The dean bowed. ¡°Please. We just finished with releasing Her Highness from her vigil.¡± His two companions bent in respect to royal majesty as well, and after bidding them farewell in silence, Erianna began following her brother outside, to the car she knew was waiting for them. It was still six in the morning, so the academy¡¯s halls and gardens were sparsely populated, but there were still enough people to notice the two of them. That, together with the forthcoming declaration from the academy that the vigil had been a success, would be what made her time in the Opal Hall worth it. Because giving thanks to the nobles fallen in combat definitely wasn¡¯t it.

    ¡°So,¡± Alan said once they were in the back of the car, now making the half an hour drive from the academy to the royal palace, ¡°how was it?¡± Erianna started at him impassively, his annoying wide smile was still adorning his face. ¡°What? The vigil¡¯s over now, you can go back to speaking. Or did the day long quarantine and fast hurt your ability to speak in the tongue of elves?¡±

    ¡°Just give me a bottle of water, asshole.¡± She pointed to the plastic pack conveniently left in his side of the car. Her brother¡¯s smile grew wider as he bent down to grab a bottle before handing it back to her and using the opportunity of her drinking to ruffle her hair. ¡°Stop that.¡±

    ¡°Make me. Until you sleep, eat and drink in order to recover yourself, I¡¯m still stronger than you. Back the way it was when we were growing up, right?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re still growing up.¡±

    ¡°You maybe. I¡¯m already a grown man.¡±

    ¡°Evidence begs to differ.¡± She pushed him away from her and finished the bottle in huge gulps before handing it back to Alan and signaling for another one. Second bottle finished, she let out a satisfied breath before melting into the sit. ¡°So, what is the family emergency?¡±

    ¡°Urgent family matter to discuss, you mean.¡±

    ¡°Sure, what was it?¡±

    ¡°Nothing. I just made it up.¡±

    ¡°Oh great! So all the time I just wasted in that stupid room is going down the drain because you¡¯ve just created a rumor that we had something urgent to discuss. Oh, I wonder what Laricis and Puanrata and all their ilk will start whispering in a couple of hours. ¡®Yes, she did the vigil, but she left unceremoniously straight after due to an urgent matter, probably just scheming with her brother and mother how to skin us all and use the money gained by selling our skin to build some orphanages in New Terra.¡¯ Thanks a lot Al¡­¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ That¡¯s not such a bad idea. But who will pay for such an inbred skin? Maybe some war-hawks in the Empire? Relax, would you? No one is going to say anything about me taking you away due to a family matter. The dean knows very well to stay away from politics and do whatever the government, that¡¯s us or the military, that¡¯s also us, tells him to do. The Master of Customs is too devoted to her role to say anything more about the vigil than it having passed successfully. And the general is Farris¡¯ man after all. Besides, there is an urgent family matter up for discussion, just not to do with you. Our uncle¡¯s unannounced sojourn to New Terra and the subsequent decisions still coming out from his dialogue with the Terran military had created a huge pileup in my workload.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you should have been the one doing the vigil then. Would have given you plenty of time to do all the paperwork in the world.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make even a lick of sense. You know just as well as me that I can¡¯t be the one to stand the vigil. Not to mention, and much more importantly, that as long as I¡¯m not the king, the nobles care more about what you think and do than what I think or do.¡±

    ¡°And how stupid do you think ¡®the nobles¡¯ to be that they will be mollified by my one day of fasting and sitting quietly in a brightly lit room?¡±

    ¡°Usually it¡¯s you who find nobles to be stupid.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. And even I don¡¯t think that they will care one way or the other about me doing the fucking vigil.¡±

    ¡°See, that¡¯s where you¡¯re definitely wrong. Because they might not care one way about you doing the vigil, it might not make them happier in the slightest. But they would most certainly care the other way if you were to skip on the vigil. It¡¯s easier to make people angry than happy after all.¡±

    ¡°I wish I didn¡¯t have to care about them being happy or angry.¡±

    ¡°As do I, as do I. But look on the bright side, maybe if you and Farris manage to become Chosen while grandmother is still alive, and the Terrans will also field one or two Chosen of their own, you really would be able to live the rest of your life without caring about the whims of the nobility.¡±

    ¡°How about you then? You¡¯re going to be the king. You don¡¯t enter into the picture at all?¡±

    ¡°The good monarch is satisfied ruling with the tools they are given. The average one is not. And the bad one tries to rule beyond their means. You give me four Chosen that I could completely rely on. I¡¯ll give you the great egalitarian reform that will completely defang our aristocracy. Or maybe I won¡¯t. Contrary to your own opinion, the institution of nobility does serve a purpose in our fine nation. Who knows where we would be without them, relying only on our royal selves to govern the kingdom?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. Without the nobles, who will fill the quota of students who aren¡¯t good enough to attend the Royal Academy and only got in because of who their ancestors were?¡±

    ¡°Some rich Terrans maybe?¡± Alan laughed. ¡°That¡¯ll really be a kick in the nuts for those uppity bastards. Their worst dreams come true: Their bloodline rejected in favor of the corrupting influence of the Terran Dollar.¡±

    ¡°Who cares? Those are the same people are currently using the train every weekend, despite their parents or grandparents vehemently opposing them, because if they were to travel with their own two feet to their pleasure retreats in some outskirts world, it¡¯ll take them a couple of days to get there.¡±

    ¡°What about the Rulers among them? They can fly faster than the trains.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re a different breed of assholes because they should be at the front lines instead of fucking off to Gran-Ika every weekend.¡±

    ¡°Oh, but have you been to Gran-Ika? It¡¯s the jewel of the kingdom, the Web even!¡±

    ¡°You know I haven¡¯t and you know why I¡¯m never going to. It¡¯s bad enough that our family is the biggest landholder in that world. We shouldn¡¯t be partaking in that place¡¯s decadence any further.¡±

    Alan laughed. ¡°You¡¯re just saying that because you don¡¯t like the beach.¡±

    ¡°I like the beach well enough, but not when it¡¯s elf-made, and costing us a so much a year in upkeep.¡±

    ¡°We only pay for half of the upkeep, you know that.. Just like you know that the state more than breaks even as a result of profit made from that world.¡±

    ¡°Great, we break even, made some profit. We could have saved all of us a headache and just invested that profit at the front in the first place.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t work like that, and you also know that.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well. Sometimes I wish I didn¡¯t. Would make my job a whole lot easier. Wouldn¡¯t have to care about the nobles, the councils, the Pawns and all that other shit. Just have to focus on getting stronger and learning how to wage war, and even for the latter, I¡¯d have people who could do stuff for me.¡±

    ¡°You could have people do the political stuff for you. That¡¯s what I¡¯m here for, after all.¡±

    ¡°Then why do I have to learn all this stuff and go through all this bullshit, then?¡±

    ¡°Same reason why I¡¯m level 5, had to learn how to fight and will be joining you on your training camp in a year¡¯s time.¡±

    ¡°Year and a half.¡± Erianna sighed. The day could not come any sooner. A year and a half of intensive combat training and immersive tactical and strategic study under the tutelage of the brightest minds and strongest arms that the kingdom had on offer. Which meant that in three years¡¯ time, she would finally be free from the confines of her education and released on the front with her very own, albeit very limited, command. Finally free to make her own mark on the war and make the Epiraks pay for all the death that they caused. At least, that was the plan. Who knew what would happen if she had to stand many more of these vigils? ¡°You going is a done deal, then? Is the kingdom going to survive without you at its helm?¡±

    ¡°You mean me as the bosun¡¯s mate, maybe. I¡¯m still a far cry from leading the vessel of state.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. I¡¯m not a ship nerd like you are,¡± she said with a smile. Then, in order to stifle a yawn, she stretched out on the back sit in an approximation of the many palace cats the royal household payed patronage to. ¡°So is there anything else you or Mom need me to do? Or am I free to go back to my studies?¡±

    Alan laughed. ¡°Do you still have anything left to study? From my understanding, you¡¯ve spent almost half of the last month staying home instead of going to the academy.¡±

    ¡°And who feeds your understanding, I wonder? But you don¡¯t need to worry about me. I still have plenty of subjects that I need to study before I¡¯m satisfied, even carrying on to next year. Only for most of those, I¡¯d be more than able to study them on my own. In fact, it might be more efficient. Instead of wasting time driving back and forth or having to contend with the class¡¯ speed of progression.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re just going to spend next year cooped up at home?¡±

    ¡°Hardly. There are still plenty of courses for me to take frontally. And my fellow students still make for the best sparring partners for my level. Don¡¯t worry about me. I¡¯m not going to stay in my room all day, only stopping taking a break cultivating in order to practice combat or my Threadsight.¡±

    ¡°Or watch TV, play games, or partake in any other form of the debauched Terran entertainment that you and Farris are so fond of.¡±

    ¡°You like that stuff just as much as I do.¡±

    ¡°Do I?¡±

    ¡°Well, maybe not as much. But well enough so that you have no right to pass judgment on anyone. Besides, I¡¯ll have you know that I barely watched anything since Yv left. It¡¯s less fun when there¡¯s no one to watch with.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re more than welcome to come watch something with me sometime. Or me and Phiya, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah¡­ That¡¯s just what I want to do with my free time. Be the third wheel between my brother and his betrothed and join them in watching the stuffy period dramas that he likes so much.¡±

    ¡°You mostly watch old shows. How come being set a hundred-plus years ago doesn¡¯t make them period shows as well?¡±

    ¡°Because the characters talk like normal people and not like some of Tidal-Age play. That kind of dialogue belongs in the theater.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of, you joining me and Mom this Friday?¡±

    ¡°Maybe¡­ we¡¯ll see. I still have the last couple of days to catch up on. Having been forced to waste them on a very frivolous undertaking.¡±

    Alan let out a sigh. ¡°We¡¯re back to that already?¡±

    ¡°We never left. Maybe when I¡¯m cleaned, fed and well rested, I could try and begin putting this harrowing ordeal out of my mind, but until then? The least you could do as an older brother is lend me a shoulder to cry on and a pair of ears to register my complaints.¡±

    ¡°Sure, I¡¯ll do just that. As long as we¡¯re stuck in the same car, that is. Also, one tiny piece of advice. From a normal person who actually has the mental capability to feel unjustly treated by the world. Your complaining would be much more credible if I didn¡¯t know that were you to endure the same conditions, nay, ever harsher conditions, as a result of combat, I wouldn¡¯t be hearing a squeak from you.¡±

    ¡°Maybe so. But until I¡¯m forced to endure the same conditions at the front, we won¡¯t know that for certain, would we? Now, let me close my eyes for a bit.¡±

    ¡°Going for a nap?¡±

    ¡°No, cultivating.¡±

    ¡°Of course you are¡­¡± Her brother chuckled. Erianna soon shut herself out from the outside world, the car and the street it was passing through, her brother¡¯s, even her own breathing. The only thing that remained was the wide world¡¯s magic on offer, hers for the taking and her core¡¯s for expanding. Released from the suffocating prison of the Opal Hall (the car might have been smaller, but it was much more familiar gathering grounds for Erianna, as well as not holding any negative connotations), her mind was free to engage in the most advanced form of seeking and excavating she was familiar with. In both cases it was not the one she was most comfortable and successful with, but she hoped that her luck with the new seeking technique would soon change with enough practice, and mastering the cumbersome ¡®excavation¡¯ one was the prerequisite for starting to use the technique that she knew was going to last her a long time.

    A short while later and a much lower numbers of cycles completed compared to her round of gathering before being let out of the hall (although her intuition told her that it was similar enough from a cultivation standpoint) and she felt the car come to a stop. Knowing what was coming next, she kept gathering for one last cycle, and, after leaving her brother bowing while holding the door open for half a minute, she opened her eyes and elegantly stepped out of the car, curtsying for her oh so loving and gracious brother.

    ¡°Want to eat with Mom?¡± Alan asked her as they entered the palace proper.

    ¡°She¡¯s up already?¡± Her mother was a Ruler, (although by all accounts¡ªmainly her uncle¡¯s¡ªnot a good combat one), so she could theoretically do just fine with less than the six hours sleep that Erianna and her brother maintained since they were fourteen (the problem with growing up with people who could see threads as well as her uncle and grandmother was that they knew if she got up earlier than she was allowed to). But their mother chose not to utilize the extra amount of waking time that her strength allotted her and kept to the same amount of sleep as her two children. Which unfortunately meant that most mornings there was no chance for her to dine with them because she ended her day two hours later than they did.

    ¡°She gave up two hours of her precious sleeping time. Just for you.¡± Erianna snorted but followed her brother to their mother¡¯s private chambers, trying not to feel bad about being way more excited about the prospect of eating than of finally having breakfast with her family after what felt like forever. Oh well, she had just spent four days without eating, and it¡¯s not like it was the whole family who was eating together. Her uncle kept erratic hours and didn¡¯t even live at the palace. Her grandmother usually ate alone, if at all. And would it really be a family dinner without Marin and Phiya there? Yes, it would. She still couldn¡¯t see Phiya as family and Marin was more her close friend than her cousin. If she invited him, then she would also want to invite Yvessa, a close friend that she actually grew up with, and didn¡¯t start living in close proximity to only because their parents threw them out due to being raging assholes.

    ¡°Why are you frowning now?¡± Her brother laughed and poked at her slightly full cheeks.

    ¡°I was just thinking of Marin.¡±

    ¡°Why, what happened? Pyllan not to his liking?¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s¡­ Never mind.¡± Her brother didn¡¯t share her distaste for their paternal side of the family and she wasn¡¯t going to lie. She talked to Marin only a week ago and according to him, he was having a grand-old time in the Imperial capital (and as cliche as the words might¡¯ve been, coming from him meant that he really was enjoying himself).

    ¡°Your Highnesses,¡± greeted them Mira with a bow. She was one of the three Rulers who served as their mother¡¯s bodyguard at all times. Erianna didn¡¯t understand why her mother needed protection while staying under the same roof as their grandmother but she was willing to concede these three Rulers from the war effort if it meant making sure that nothing would happen to her mom (the rational part in her, which she made great efforts to bury deep down, was content because it saw the risk of a transfer of powers as too great for the utility gained from just three extra Rulers on the front).

    The siblings returned Mira¡¯s greetings and stepped through the door she opened for them to the (currently) private confines of their mother¡¯s dining room. Their mother was seated away from them, at the round table where they took most of their meals growing up. Her mother¡¯s radiant smile was the original on which Alan¡¯s was modeled after, but even that wasn¡¯t enough to draw Erianna¡¯s eyes for more than a second as she sat down and descended upon the food-laden table with a ravenous grin. ¡°Hey Mom,¡± was all she said before stuffing two sweet buns in her face.

    ¡°I¡¯m guessing that you didn¡¯t cheat before the vigil started then,¡± her mom said with a laugh. Not before greeting her very polite and filial brother who actually loved their mother enough to go and hug her.

    ¡°Like you need to guess,¡± Erianna said with her mouth half full. ¡°You seriously telling me that you didn¡¯t keep an eye on me?¡±

    ¡°Of course I didn¡¯t. I¡¯m not going to spy over my adult daughter¡¯s threads to see whether she eats when she¡¯s not supposed to. Besides, you¡¯re giving me too much credit. I very much doubt that I would have been able to discern something like that with you all grown up.¡±

    ¡°Aha! You see, Erianna.¡± Alan waved his fork at her. ¡°Now we know that the true reason for our mother stopping to spy on us was because of her own lack of power. If she could, then perhaps she still would be keeping an ever vigilant eye on us, making sure we are staying out of trouble and representing the kingdom as best as we can.¡±

    ¡°And when did I ever have to keep any of you out of trouble?¡± her mother asked. ¡°Really, the only organized spying we ever did was on Erianna, to make sure that she went to bed on time and didn¡¯t wake up too early.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I recall those days. She kept pestering Farris to teach her about threads, hoping that it would help her fool you. Little did she know that Farris was the main informant spying against her.¡± He laughed and Erianna took a two second break from emptying the table in order to scowl at him.

    Thankfully, the rest of the mealtime conversation didn¡¯t include Erianna. Alan and her mother maintained enough small talk for the three so she could focus on sating her hunger. Long after her two companions finished their breakfast, she finally leaned back in a satisfied slouch, put two hands on her belly and closed her eyes to bask in the overawing feeling of filled space winning over what was once empty. ¡°That¡¯s my girl.¡± Her mother started stroking her hair after moving her chair over. ¡°You must have had such a hard and boring time, stuck in that Opal Hall for an entire day.¡±

    ¡°I sure did. Maybe you could get me out of all state functions for the next year in compensation?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see about that. Farris had just upended a decade¡¯s worth of political balancing by finally putting a date on his summit with the Terran General Staff, and ruined any chance of smoothing things over by having the conference begin less than a day after he called for it. A move that I can only hope won¡¯t have any negative impacts on the military side of things. But definitely would for the political side. So you, our future general, might be needed to show that the royal family is still committed to the status-quo.¡±

    ¡°Even if we¡¯re not,¡± Alan added. ¡°And even with you being just as extreme as dear uncle is.¡±

    ¡°Fuck that,¡± Erianna said. ¡°If Farris¡¯ idiocy is at fault, then he should be the one to fix it. Maybe he shouldn¡¯t have kept putting off the summit and giving mixed messaged about it and its intentions. Besides, it¡¯s only been a day. What could they have already decided that would get the Moonies all hot and bothered?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Her mother kept smoothing her hair. ¡°I doubt it would be anything concrete rather than just being upset at the Terrans for having a say in the matter of their military. And¡­ because they view any action of my brother as preparing ground for his goal of completing the Epirak Reforms.¡±

    Alan scoffed. ¡°Idiotic. Considering he doesn¡¯t have any concrete plans for what those reforms might one day entail.¡±

    ¡°Not entirely idiotic. Whatever Farris might decide the ideal form of our military should be. There is no doubt that the end result would bring it closer in form to the Terran military. Which, for many nobles, is already a grave sin. Not to mention some very likely new policies. Like one that would mean that the nobility would lose their ability to wield influence based on guaranteed appointments.¡±

    ¡°Oh how sad,¡± Erianna said. ¡°They would only have all their other advantages to relay upon, like generational wealth, entrenchment in the political and cultural structure, and all the fighters sworn directly to them; a couple dozen Rulers and one Chosen.¡±

    ¡°Indeed. The first road stone on the path of completely stripping them of their influence, as they are sure to see it. You might not see this version of the future as something to be scared about, but you are more than smart enough to recognize why the Moon-Sworn might be scared of it.¡±

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    Erianna wrinkled her nose. It was hard to dismiss someone as being an idiot when they had every reason for being afraid, the morality of the fear notwithstanding. ¡°So do you know what caused Farris to push forward the summit to¡­ yesterday, was it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s still ongoing and will continue for quite some time. Even if by all accounts Farris wasn¡¯t present for a considerable percentage of the first day and already left today.¡±

    ¡°And by all accounts, you wouldn¡¯t happen to mean just what Basil told you?¡±

    Her mother nodded, with a slight bite of her lip. ¡°He didn¡¯t tell me anything concrete, owing due to some stuff not being ironed out yet, but mostly because that¡¯s my brother¡¯s job. But he did tell me that Farris put him in charge of our delegation and the conference¡¯s proceedings while he was not present. Which, in addition to those couple of hours yesterday, will evidently mean every day going forward.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just great,¡± Erianna laughed. ¡°The summit could end with the Terrans relinquishing all independence of their military and the Moonies are still going to hate it.¡± Despite nearing forty and still not making Ruler, Basil Lamius was her uncle¡¯s unofficial second in command and officially the queen¡¯s attach¨¦ to the supreme commander. Born to a Terran father and to a half-Imperial half-elven mother, his mixed heritage would have been enough to get those moon-mad idiots to hate him. What only further fueled their hatred was that almost every major change that her uncle instituted in the military was mainly facilitated (and in their idiotic minds, perhaps thought of) through Basil.

    Her brother and mother were going to have their work cut out for them, cleaning the fallout from leaving one of the most contentious events in the Moon-Sworn eyes to one of their most hated persons. Serves them right for trying to use her as a political tool in order to assuage the Moonies¡¯ fears. Didn¡¯t they understand that they were only pushing her further and further along into the path of starting to act like her uncle the moment she made Ruler? Probably Not. Her mother knew that she would never be as flippant as Farris is. A fact that her mother made much use of when forcing her to study politics even as late as this academic year.

    ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± Her brother tried flicking her temple, but she easily (having regained some energy) deflected his hand away. ¡°You¡¯re going to have your part to play in fixing this mess as well. That means official state meals, hunting excursions, attending tourneys, and not threatening violence on every half-wit noble who annoys you.¡±

    ¡°Mooom!¡± Erianna made kitten eyes at her mother, who just laughed and stepped back with her chair.

    ¡°We¡¯ll see what happens in the future,¡± she said. ¡°The summit is still not over and your uncle still owes me some favors that I could use to have him pay his own due diligence in calming the waters.¡±

    Alan scoffed. ¡°When did he ever actually let you cash out any of those favors? Last time he was at a state function was my graduation. Need I remind you how that went?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d be surprised then. Your graduation wasn¡¯t a favor I called from him. Your uncle came because he loves you. But I did end up calling in a favor after what happened. And wouldn¡¯t you know it? A certain Ruler finally got his dream post leading our expeditionary forces in the clans. Farris might not be a very political creature, but that is out of choice more than of nature. He knows when to give up and do as I ask, and he knows what his actions signify and to take their political cost into account. You¡¯d be surprised how well his calculations work out in the long run. That¡¯s what I¡¯m hoping happened yesterday as well, although what I¡¯ve been hearing hasn¡¯t given me much room for relaxation.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Erianna asked. ¡°What else did you hear?¡±

    ¡°Did he transfer more Terran units to deshar command?¡± Alan laughed.

    Their mother waved her hand in dismissal. ¡°Only rumors. Basil hadn¡¯t been very forthcoming; under direct orders from what I understand. But, I¡¯ll let Farris explain himself to me before I set to judging him. Hear what he has to say for himself.¡±

    ¡°Oh oh. That doesn¡¯t good for our dear uncle. Seriously, what else did you hear that he did?¡±

    ¡°Like I told you, nothing certain yet. And I certainly won¡¯t know how to judge what I heard until I meet face to face with him. But that doesn¡¯t matter, leave your uncle and his follies away from your mind. This was supposed to be a happy meal, thanking Erianna for her dedication to her duty.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Erianna,¡± her brother said in a high-pitched voice. She gave him the middle finger. ¡°So what are you going to do with the rest of the day? Catch some sleep? It¡¯s still early after all.¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯ll stay up. It¡¯s only been a day. I have plenty else that I need to do.¡± With that, she bid her brother and mother farewell. They were going to continue talking in private for some more time, dealing with the matters of state. She, on the other hand, had much more tangible problems to grapple with. While she managed to keep to her cultivation schedule for the last couple of days, maybe even get ahead, all other forms of training had suffered as a result of preparing for the vigil and going through it.

    She used the first hours of the morning to catch up on her studies, working to maintain the significant lead that she had over most other people her age. The second semester might only have just began not long ago but the relative ease of the electives she chose to take for it (compared to the previous semester and her plans for next year) meant that, despite the abundance of courses, she should already have had enough time to create a two-week lead in all the courses which weren¡¯t complex enough to prevent her studying on her own. But, as things were, she only had a two-week lead in two courses and barely a week¡¯s lead in another one.

    So that was something to begin fixing immediately. Another problem that popped up was that one of the frontal (complex enough for her to want to partake in it) courses was scheduled for today, but she wasn¡¯t planning to step foot in the Royal Academy until next week in order to cleanse herself of the vigil¡¯s memory. Luckily, the instructor for the course was one of those directly employed in the academy by the royal family. He privately tutored her in the past year when she found it necessary, and this year shouldn¡¯t be any different. She sent him an email, ccing Palace Security, asking him to arrange a session on Friday or the weekchange at the time most convenient for him.

    Schoolwork done, she asked for lunch to be brought up to her rooms, and used that time to shower and finally clean up from the last day¡¯s ¡°ordeal.¡± Half an hour later, cleaned and well fed, she embarked on a two-hour session of cultivating, followed by an hour session of Threadsight training, then an hour of threads recognition. She ended that fourth hour more frustrated than she began it. However great her Sight might¡¯ve been compared to most Thread-Weavers her age, her usage of it was still not up to her usual standards, despite training in it since she was fifteen. As annoying as it was to admit, threads was the only subject in which she fell short of surpassing her uncle¡¯s achievements when he was her age. At least if she took his words at face value, and as long as Yvessa wasn¡¯t there to point out her core¡¯s state to her.

    Deciding that it was high time to release some pent up energy, she picked up her sword from the mantle she was forced to leave it on yesterday before the vigil (why would the dead care whether she was carrying a weapon?) and proceeded to the family¡¯s private training yard. She took her time warming up and going through the different forms before she began methodically working her way thorough the different practice-dolls that cost a fortune to set up after being depleted of their magic.

    She started training with all patterns before going down to sustained only. Then with none at all (the feeling of fatigue coming down from all sustained patterns was unpleasant, but very important to train resistance to), switching between tracing at will and using only her physical body at random. It was only a few minutes after she began her comprehensive practice that she noticed someone was watching her. Although she didn¡¯t know whether he just got there or whether he was watching longer, but only let her see his threads just now.

    ¡°Mom was looking for you,¡± she told her uncle without bothering to look at him. He was too experienced a Ruler and talented a Thread-Weaver to let his threads flaunt themselves enough for Erianna to know he was there based on threadsight alone. If he wanted her to know he was here, and still didn¡¯t bother walking up to her and saying hello, that was up to him. She wasn¡¯t going to play his stupid games. Or maybe she was doing just that, it would take a truly deranged mind to understand how her uncle¡¯s operated but she had an inkling that he was more than happy with the picture of her speaking to him without bothering to see that he was indeed there.

    ¡°I know. I just came back from talking with her.¡± He laughed. ¡°She really tried to let me have it. But I think that I left with the upper hand in the end. That¡¯s what happens when you make the most rational and utilitarian decision. People can¡¯t help but agree with you.¡±

    She snorted, tracing through her sword, focusing the affecting magic to act at just the right point where it met the doll, and proceeded to take its head off. ¡°From what I heard, you finally held your summit with the Terrans that you¡¯ve been hyping for so long. But you gave no one a heads-up and left after being there for less than a day.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not completely fair. I stayed there all through the night until we hammered out every important detail. Everything else Basil will take care of. But my time is precious. I couldn¡¯t waste so much of it on just a simple discussion of logistics.¡±

    ¡°We both know that it wasn¡¯t just ¡®a simple discussion of logistics.¡¯ In fact, you know that better than me. So the question is, what else was so important on New Terra that you came late to the summit that you yourself called and left after less than a day? Staying all through the night, notwithstanding.¡±

    ¡°Ah.¡± Her uncle clicked his tongue. ¡°Now we come to the meat of the matter. For you see, the reason why I called the summit all of a sudden, and the reason why I was absent for the first hours of it, are one and the same.¡±

    He stopped speaking at that point, and after another minute with no word heard from him, Erianna finally turned to look at him with an exasperated grunt. ¡°And am I supposed to ask what that thing is?¡±

    ¡°That would be the nice thing to do, yes. Help build the dramatic tension the right way.¡±

    ¡°Well bully for you.¡± She didn¡¯t rise up to the bait, and walked past him to drink from the nearby fountain and dry her face with the towel she left on the bench. Her uncle looked at her expectantly, tapping his foot and starting to squirm the longer she looked at him without speaking.

    ¡°OK, fine!¡± He threw his hands up. ¡°I¡¯ll just come out and say it! News came out of New Terra a week ago.¡±

    ¡°What news?¡± Erianna asked before she could stop herself. Dammit! She chided herself with a bite of the tongue.

    ¡°A new Taken.¡±

    ¡°A new Taken? Huh. I guess that is pretty big news. Probably more so for someone like you, who truly believes in an intelligent and benevolent force behind them.¡±

    ¡°Oh ho, you better believe that it was big news for someone like me. In fact, this new Taken just goes to prove that everything that I thought about them is true.¡±

    ¡°How come?¡±

    ¡°A couple of reasons. First, guess how old is he.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Taken have to be already old enough to awaken, so that¡¯s around twelve¡­ Is he much younger than that?¡±

    ¡°Quite the opposite.¡±

    ¡°Older? That¡¯s what got you excited?¡±

    ¡°Guess how old.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Fourteen? Fifteen?¡±

    ¡°Twenty-two.¡±

    ¡°Twenty¡ªThat¡¯s an actual adult! I didn¡¯t know that there were adult Taken returned after integration.¡±

    ¡°There aren¡¯t, he¡¯s the first. The oldest Taken to be returned after their world¡¯s integration was over was an Imperial who just turned sixteen.¡±

    ¡°And you just happen to know that little tidbit¡­¡±

    ¡°I did my research after I heard about this new Taken. Trying to confirm my assumptions. But wait! This isn¡¯t all that¡¯s special about him. There¡¯s something else, something much more important that makes him unique compared to all other Taken. Care to guess what?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ He didn¡¯t start at sub-level 1?¡±

    ¡°Tsk, no. But that¡¯s only be for the best. It¡¯s going to be hard enough for him as it is to acclimate to magic without also starting with a level 1 and fragmented core.¡±

    ¡°Then what is it? He¡¯s from after their integration?¡±

    ¡°No. But that would be pretty cool.¡±

    ¡°Then what is it?¡±

    Farris¡¯ smile grew even wider than before, his eyes twinkling. ¡°What made me such an amazing young prospect before you came along and stole my thunder?¡±

    ¡°Stole your thunder? What are you, twelve?¡± She shook her head at her uncle¡¯s childishness and tried to think. Evidently he wasn¡¯t going to just act normal and tell her what was special about this new Taken, aside from his old age, and at this point Erianna was too committed to give up.

    ¡°No. But the answer lies back when we were both twelve.¡±

    ¡°What? Are you talking about the Awakening? What¡¯s so special about that for a Taken? He¡¯s already got perfect pathways.¡±

    ¡°True, so not that.¡±

    ¡°What then¡ªWait¡­ are you saying that he¡¯s a Thread-Weaver? Like an actual Thread-Weaver Taken? Perfect pathways, and the Sight straight from the get go?¡±

    ¡°And what Threadsight¡­ I dare say that he¡¯s no slouch, even when compared to you as you are today.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit.¡±

    ¡°Probably. But judging from the headache that he got while looking at me, I¡¯ll say that he¡¯s better than you or I were at when in his place.¡±

    ¡°So you personally went to help him turn off his threadsight? Is that really why you called the summit of of a sudden? Wait, is he really the only Thread-Weaver Taken? Has there been no other one?¡±

    ¡°None on record. Which signals to me that no, because that¡¯s definitely something that will help you become strong enough to survive and eventually famous enough to go on the record. For some reason, Sam is not the only adult Taken to be returned after an integration, but he¡¯s also the only Taken with the sight. And I think those two unique points are connected to each other. Either Sam is the only adult to be returned because he¡¯s also a Thread-Weaver or he¡¯s a Thread-Weaver because he¡¯s the only adult to be returned. Whatever the reason, it¡¯s clear that he¡¯s special as fuck, so it¡¯s no wonder why I had to meet him, right?¡±

    ¡°And you couldn¡¯t just arrange a vacation?!¡± Sarah smacked his thigh with the blunt of her blade, knowing full well that even with all her magic tracing through it, it wouldn¡¯t even register on Farris¡¯ senses. ¡°You had to orchestrate an elaborate scheme to bring you to New Terra on official business?¡±

    ¡°Not elaborate, very basic and see-through. That wasn¡¯t even the scheme, per se. It was more me wanting to get rid of two obligations at the same time.¡±

    ¡°Have you no shame?! A sense of responsibility?! Do you know how much extra work and headache you just gave mom and her advisors?¡±

    ¡°Well, if it¡¯s anything like the headache I got from listening to her lecture, then yes.¡± He smiled sheepishly. ¡°Oh relax, would you? Since when did you give a crap about the political hand stringing game our elders are stuck with?¡±

    ¡°Ever since I developed my ability to sympathize with the people closest to me. So at age two, maybe?¡±

    ¡°Ha! More like five. You were a much bigger handful than your brother was. Besides, are you sure that your concern for my lacking political acumen is really driven by familial sympathies? Rather than, let¡¯s say¡­ having to take an active part in your mother¡¯s political maneuvering? How was your vigil, by the way? I never had to do one while I was in school. They wanted me to when I made Ruler and was named general, but I managed to foist it on Jaril.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not true. You did one after he died. After Shallenet. I remember¡ªnever mind.¡± She pursed her lips in dismay. Neither she nor her uncle liked to bring up that time period. The days following her losing her father and Farris his best friend. Her brows burrowed further. She was torn between being mad at herself for focusing on the subject or her uncle for bringing him up in the first place.

    Farris flicked her in between her eyebrows, tracing just the right amount of magic through his finger to give her a small jolt. ¡°What are you doing getting yourself down over something that happened a decade ago? Neither of us is so fragile to shatter just by speaking of him. But, if I¡¯m being honest with you¡­ It¡¯s a different feeling holding a vigil of your own volition to one being forced upon you, especially since in my case I wasn¡¯t limiting who I was paying my respects to. Don¡¯t look so doubtful. I might not be a spiritual person, but in times of hardship, it helps to have something to turn to, and that provides some sort of emotional release. Even if you 99.9% don¡¯t believe in it, that zero point one percent feels better than nothing¡­ Well, hopefully you¡¯ll never have to find out for yourself.¡±

    Erianna swallowed, going back on her decade old trick of imagining her bad mood being cleansed together with the bile in her throat. It worked, obviously. The emotions were too old at this point¡ªand she too mature¡ªfor them to have any serious effect on her. It was only because of the vigil, and her preparation for it, that she was caught unaware. She adopted a bitter smile, deciding to bring the conversation back on topic, which was admonishing her uncle. ¡°With my luck, I would have to hold two more of these vigils by the time I graduate because of you.¡±

    ¡°Surely not vigils? They can¡¯t have another one so soon unless they decide to honor a broader population base, need more people to die. Luncheons and its ilks; balls; exhibitions; other religious or secular ceremonies; and everything else that the executive is forced to bear with. All those yes, but vigils? Hardly likely.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s wonderful. So at least I could look forward to having a full belly when my time is wasted on even more frivolity in the next year and a half. All thanks to you.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t thank me yet. I have a plan to get you out of almost all of your hereditary obligations.¡±

    Erianna couldn¡¯t help but perk up. In matters that had nothing to do with fighting or training her to be a fighter, she wouldn¡¯t trust Farris farther than she could throw him if he was putting up resistance. But something about his¡ªeven more than usual¡ªself-assured smile caused her to stand on her toes. Farris was planning something, it was just a question of whether she could trust him to hold his end of the bargain (she couldn¡¯t) and whether he really had her best interests at heart (he did, even though he always tried to act as though the kingdom¡¯s came first). ¡°What¡¯s the plan, then?¡±

    ¡°Oh, interested are you?¡± Farris laughed, sitting down with his legs stretched forward and his hands cupping his chin. ¡°We¡¯ll get to my plan momentarily, but before that, back to you. Don¡¯t you think that it¡¯s a bit unfilial, immoral even, to be mourning the time you lost in attending to your mother¡¯s requests for your presence at official events? After all, in the grand scheme of things, is there really a better use for your time? You are, after all, well ahead in your studies and level so that you could graduate this year if such a thing was allowed. That¡¯s one whole year of free time that you could dedicate to helping your mother further stabilize her political position.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck are you talking about? Not only are you not making any sense, but you have to realize how hypocritical this sounds coming out of your mouth, right?¡±

    ¡°I do, but bear with me. Speaking from a utilitarian point of view¡ª¡±

    ¡°Utilitarian? Since when do you care about utilitarianism one way or the other?¡±

    ¡°Since I had to waste time debating the morality of eradicating the Epiraks, which caused me to understand that if I want to teach that stubborn bastard anything, then I¡¯m going to have to have to speak his language! Now will you please let me finish? I had this whole speech ready to go and you¡¯re ruining it!¡± Erianna waved for him to continue. ¡°Thank you. So as I was saying, from a utilitarian perspective, some, not all, but at least some of your time, would be more morally spent doing your mother¡¯s bidding in her political games. You are already so far ahead of the curve that you are starting to see diminishing returns from your training.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s categorically not true! Even if I were to spend all my time cultivating, that would still be time better spent because that would help me reach Ruler faster.¡±

    ¡°Huh huh¡­ And can you spend all of your time cultivating? No way. You¡¯re already on the cusp of spending too much of your time on it as it is, owing to have nothing better to do with your time.¡±

    ¡°Maybe so, but it¡¯s going to change next year. Once I finished all of my required studies, I¡¯m going to branch out in all directions and get what I can from each different discipline. Not to mention starting to prepare my level 8 and 9 patterns based on said new knowledge.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ Newsflash, it¡¯s not going to go as smooth as you think. I already told you this before and I¡¯ll tell you again, your idea of what your level 8 pattern is going to be is not the pattern you are going to leave level 8 with. But I digress. Can we please just take the assumption that some of your time could be better spent of helping your mother rather than studying? I¡¯m having a really hard time getting to my point with you countering everything I say.¡±

    ¡°How about just coming out with your point or your plan or whatever it is you want to say?¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    Erianna rolled her eyes but gestured Farris to continue. It was better to let him have his way in times like this.

    ¡°Thank you. So, to sum up, we know two things to be true: One, you should dedicate some of your time next year to helping your mother in the same way you did today. Two, you really really don¡¯t want to do that. So how do we reconcile between what you should be doing and what you want to do? Simple, by giving you a better moral alternative that you would be happy doing. That¡¯s where my plan comes in.¡±

    ¡°Wow. If only you could have spent the last couple of minutes telling me what your plan was instead of all this bullshit preamble.¡±

    ¡°Do you want to hear my plan or not?¡±

    ¡°Go ahead.¡±

    ¡°My plan is simple. Instead of spending next year wasting away between the palace, the Royal Academy or wherever it is that my sister decides to send you. You¡¯re going to spend it in New Terra. In New Point Academy, to be exact, where, in your free time, you could take as many of their electives as you wish or just take some much deserved time off.¡±

    ¡°Why the fuck would I do that? No offense to the Terrans and the work you and Mom have been doing, but New Point is still not at the level of the Royal Academy, so, as much as I¡¯d like to hang out with Yvessa, it¡¯s not worth it. Besides, there¡¯s no way that Mom would let me do it. Finishing my studies at a Terran institution would cause an even bigger political shit-storm than what you did yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Indeed... And what else?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What is the other problem with my proposition?¡±

    ¡°Farris, for Christ¡¯s sake, just tell me! Stop being so cryptic about this bullshit.¡±

    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll do it for you. The last problem with my suggestion is that it doesn¡¯t resolve the moral conundrum that we started with. The moral thing to do (from a utilitarian¡¯s perspective) would still be to help your mother, no matter whether you are here or on New Terra.¡±

    ¡°OK then¡­ How do you solve this?¡±

    ¡°Do¡­ Do you really not see where I¡¯m going with this?¡±

    ¡°Must be because I¡¯m not as smart as you are.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see what you having a superior intellect has to do with the discussion, your boasting aside.¡±

    ¡°Farris, just tell me!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Sam alright?! I want you to tutor Sam!¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s Sam?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean ¡®who¡¯s Sam?¡¯ Sam Anders, the Taken we were just talking about. The reason why I went to New Terra, whereupon meeting him, I made myself his mentor.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit, I completely forgot about that idiotic action of yours.¡± She massaged her temple with both her palms. ¡°I still don¡¯t understand why you had to go all the way to New Terra to meet him¡­ And you made yourself his mentor, because of course you would. Couldn¡¯t you have just waited until he came to study here and saved all of us this headache?¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about? Sam¡¯s way too busy with his studies to have time to come visit me in Maynil. And that was before I became his mentor and we formed the same unbreakable bond that you and I have.¡±

    ¡°Wait, so he¡¯s going to stay on New Terra?¡±

    ¡°Of course he is. You want to make his culture shock even deeper by sending him here and taking what little remained of his old home away from him? His new friends? Some of which are the only people in the Web who know what he¡¯s going through.¡±

    ¡°But him staying on New Terra makes no sense! Not if you want to train him as a Thread-Weaver. There¡¯s a reason why they send all of their Thread-Weavers to study here. If he¡¯s staying there, then that means that you¡¯re going to have to send somebody to teach him if you don¡¯t want to his talent to go to waste. Wait! You said you wanted me to tutor him. You wanted me to be the one to teach him about threads because he¡¯s too fragile to leave New Terra?! Is that it?¡±

    ¡°Oh now she get¡¯s it. After she already had it plainly explained to her.¡±

    ¡°Are you insane? Do you realize how idiotic your plan is? You want me, a Princess of Sarechal, the person who is going to take over your job in the future, to be the personal instructor to some no-name Terran, as though our roles were reversed? That¡¯s even worse than your initial suggestion of just going to New Point to finish my studies there. The Moonies are going to be apocalyptic, and for the first time, I could actually see where they are coming from.¡±

    ¡°Erianna Ninae, daughter of Lera and Jaril! Really! I would expect a bit more respect; a bit more sympathy for your new fellow mentee. And, by the way, your best friend¡¯s new friend.¡±

    ¡°What? Yvessa didn¡¯t mention anything about him. I spoke to her just two days ago.¡±

    ¡°I know. She told me that you didn¡¯t tell her anything about me being on New Terra. I spoke to her just a day ago.¡±

    ¡°And obviously it makes sense¡­ Yv made friends with Sarah Khan and she was the youngest Taken until this guy¡ª¡±

    ¡°Still is. You should¡¯ve said newest.¡±

    ¡°So from what Yv told me about her, she was probably quick to take him under her wings. But why wouldn¡¯t Yv tell me about him? And why, oh why, for fuck¡¯s sake, would you make this guy your mentee after just meeting him for the first time?¡±

    ¡°What can I say? I liked his vibe.¡±

    ¡°You liked his vibe? Are you serious? That¡¯s it?¡±

    ¡°Are you already forgetting about the part where he is the only one of this kind twice over? Adult and Thread-Weaver?¡±

    ¡°Farris¡­ Farris. I¡¯m not trying to argue about the guy¡¯s talents or potential for the future. I don¡¯t know the guy. But until yesterday, neither did you, and you still decided to become his mentor based on that short introduction. Honestly? Yeah, he does have all it takes on paper to have someone like you mentor him. Hell, he even has better credentials than me. But you! You¡¯re the one who annoyingly, no matter how much I asked you to stop, went around telling people that you only have one mentee because there is only one person who is good enough for you to mentor them. That it¡¯s not just a matter of talents but also temperament, of will, and whatever other bullshit you spouted to try and embarrass me. So excuse me for expecting a different sort of answer than ¡®good vibe¡¯ as to why you decided to mentor the guy.¡±

    ¡°OK, first of all¡­ can you please stop referencing to him as a ¡®guy¡¯ and start calling him by his name? You and Sam are going to be spending the at next year together. If not more; I told him that I¡¯m eying him for the position of being your second in command. After all, what makes for a better team than the first Terran Chosen and the youngest elven one? And second of all, I¡¯m not a moron, you know? I know how to read people, and the time I spent with Sam, plus the character analysis that the Terrans already made of him, was enough for me to decide that yes: his talents, together with his personality, make him good enough candidate for my mentorship. And lastly¡­ I really like him. We had a good vibe going. Hell, his sense of humor is what caused me to want and personally meet him in the first place, otherwise I might have just sent someone to teach him threads without all this hassle.¡±

    Erianna narrowed her eyes. ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°Well, look, for example, at his interview with the Maurice Giraud, mere hours after he was returned to New Terra. The good doctor asks him if he noticed any physical difference in his body, and Sam looks down at his pants and says, ¡®Nope, still small.¡¯ I¡¯m butchering the joke a little, but you get the gist.¡±

    This time, Erianna traced through her sword when she hit the top of Farris¡¯ head with the blunt of it. Her uncle was, unfortunately, unmoved. ¡°That¡¯s it?! That¡¯s it?! Just because of that one stupid joke, which is not that funny by the way, you decided to meet this Sam and also open the military summit with no notice. Are you insane?!¡±

    ¡°Hey! That¡¯s a good joke. And it also had a second part, a day later, which means that it wasn¡¯t a onetime fluke, and that¡¯s really what Sam¡¯s personality is like. Also, you have to remember that Sam comes from a different time than ours, when toxic masculinity was much more rampant. It takes a special kind of person to make that sort of joke.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about? That¡¯s like the most cliche joke for men to tell. Are you saying that he is also unique in being a Taken from a hundred years before the Integration happened?¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m pretty sure that he grew up in their two-thousands, although he won¡¯t outright admit when he was born. But still¡­ Making that joke under duress, sticking to your guns when faced with a Ruler and making a follow-up, you have to respect a person for something like that.¡±

    ¡°No you don¡¯t! And you certainly don¡¯t have to go ahead and declare to the entire world that they are as good and talented as me by becoming his mentor.¡±

    ¡°I already told you that I only decided to become his mentor after meeting him face to face. It would have been irresponsible to judge someone based on just an excellent, multi-faceted joke that they had made.¡±

    Erianna threw herself on the bench next to her uncle, taking half a minute to remember to fix her very unhealthy initial posture. She rubbed her eyes wearily. God, she loved her uncle, but sometimes he could be too much, even for her. The fact that everything that he did in the last twenty-four hours stemmed from a stupid small-dick joke, and that both things that came as a result were sure to cause political turbulence, caused a headache to start building in Erianna¡¯s temple, very much like the one she was sure her mother was dealing with. ¡°And how did Mom take your news of my new fellow mentee?¡±

    ¡°She was initially skeptic. But after I explained my reasoning, she came around.¡±

    ¡°She did?¡±

    ¡°Of course. Well, after I explained my whole line of thought. After all, without her agreement, I couldn¡¯t send you to New Terra, now could I?¡±

    ¡°Are you serious? Mom agreed to your stupid plan of having me tutor this Sam guy about threads?¡±

    ¡°Why do you keep calling my plan stupid? It¡¯s perfectly valid, and it takes care of both your problem and Sam¡¯s. Matter of fact, I think you come off better than Sam does in it. You not only get out of your political obligations, but you also get to spend time with your best friend and visit New Terra in the flesh. And don¡¯t try to act like this isn¡¯t one of your dreams. Getting to immerse yourself in Terran culture.¡±

    ¡°OK, I¡¯ll admit to wanting to visit New Terra, but not to your last point. I¡¯m not like you. I just like old Terran culture, pre-Integration stuff. Every time Yvessa tried to get me to watch some new show or play a new game, I would get bored because it¡¯s all the same stuff nowadays, elven and Terran.¡±

    ¡°Another point in your favor then, getting to hangout with someone who actually grew up during that time. I know that I very much enjoyed the short time that me and Sam had to speak about old Terran culture. Although he never did tell me what his favorite TV show is. You¡¯ll have to ask him and relay it back to me.¡±

    Erianna laughed. ¡°I¡¯m not going.¡±

    ¡°What? Why not? Give me one reason for you to object.¡±

    ¡°Alright. How about the political upheaval that me personally tutoring a person who¡¯s older than me would cause, not just within the kingdom, but with the other nations as well?¡±

    ¡°Even if you¡¯re assuming that¡¯s a bad thing. Who cares? It¡¯s all irrelevant in the long run when Sam proves himself to be just as good as you are. And it¡¯s not like you would have to deal with it. Your mother would, and she agreed to the plan.¡±

    ¡°I still find it hard to believe that she did that.¡±

    ¡°Would I really lie about something that¡¯s so easy to find out?¡±

    ¡°For a laugh, yes.¡±

    ¡°OK, I¡¯ll admit that. But would I be trying to joke about something so serious as my new martial ward?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Which makes me scared that you are actually being serious about wanting me to teach him.¡±

    ¡°I am! I seriously believe that you would be the best person, or in running for the best person, to teach him about threads. And that everything else, like you getting to meet with Yvessa or getting away from politics, and Sam having another friend plus your personal help in tutoring him in other non-threads related matters (as his elder), is just a bonus. Which makes you becoming Sam¡¯s teacher the best option. From a utilitarian¡¯s viewpoint.¡±

    ¡°OK, I¡¯m on board for the first two bonuses, but who¡¯s saying that I¡¯ll become his friend, or that I¡¯ll want to help him with anything else?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just possibilities. Things that could happen and it would be nice if they would. What¡¯s the alternative? That I send Sam one of the few threads instructors we have that I think would be compatible with him and good enough to teach him? Those bastards aren¡¯t going to spend more of their free time helping him study.¡±

    ¡°Yes they would! If that¡¯s what you told them to do.¡±

    ¡°Maybe they would maybe they won¡¯t, that¡¯s not the main point. The point is that even my best candidates might not be as good for him as you are. The young ones will be too focused on reaching level 10 and the old ones will be too bitter about still not being level 10, but being forced to tutor someone who definitely will. Face it, personality wise, you are the best teacher I have available to me to send to Sam.¡±

    ¡°And knowledge wise? Or did you forget that I¡¯m still learning this stuff myself and by sending me off to New Terra you¡¯re basically forcing me to freeze my studies unless I get one of their Rulers to help me.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°Yeah, that not going to happen. You¡¯re going to have to wait for their next rotation of Rulers. Or, do like a normal person and be satisfied with your current knowledge, which is more than enough to set you apart from any newly made Ruler. Face it, as far as theory goes, you already have more than enough. The only thing that could reliably give you a further combat edge is to train your Threadsight, and you don¡¯t need any teachers to help with that. Besides, I promise to more than make up for your year of ¡®academic abstention¡¯ once The Muster begins, both by offering my help and other Rulers¡¯.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re trying really hard to make this happen.¡±

    ¡°Which should only go to show you just how much of a good idea I believe this is. Honestly, I¡¯m really struggling to understand why you¡¯re pushing so hard against this. Is it about having to leave Maynil a year early? Is that it? You don¡¯t want to leave home just yet?¡±

    ¡°Shut up. I¡¯m against your plan for so many reasons, but homesickness isn¡¯t one of them. Right now, the main reason is that I don¡¯t believe that I am the best person to teach him, or anyone for that matter, about threads.¡±

    ¡°But you are. I¡¯m not asking you to teach him anything complicated, just the stuff that I taught you before you even started the academy. Your foundation is more than enough to teach him that.¡±

    ¡°It still doesn¡¯t make me the best teacher for him.¡±

    ¡°It does if you see your job as an extension of my duties toward him as his mentor. When looking from the perspective of his starting position, you are the closest to him in the entire Web, just with an eight years lead. Who¡¯s better to teach a Taken about threads than a Thread-Weaver who has almost perfect pathways? You know exactly what he needs to learn and how he needs to train, because you¡¯ve been where he is right now. And because I know you, I know that just like I taught you, you¡¯d be able to teach him.¡±

    Erianna chuckled. ¡°So what¡¯s this really about is throwing me your responsibility. You can¡¯t teach this Sam personally, so you¡¯re sending me to do it in your stead because for some reason you think that I¡¯m the closest substitute for your teaching. It makes sense, I guess, in a twisted kind of way. That because I¡¯m the only one that you personally taught that I¡¯m the only one that you could trust to teach him.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. So will you do it?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Ugh¡­ Really?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ maybe¡­ I don¡¯t know. I need to think about this. It¡¯s a lot to take in.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s there to think about? Stop being a good person and focusing on Sam for a second and look at this from a selfish point of view. I promise you, that whatever harm your studies might take from transferring schools, it would be very minor and just as minor an endeavor to help you catch up in a year and a half. So, if that¡¯s true, wouldn¡¯t you rather spend the next year with your best friend, avoiding anything that even smells of politics and living your best life on the world with the best internet in the Web?¡±

    ¡°Sure, I suppose.¡±

    ¡°Then why not give this a go? Take a month as a trial period. Go to New Terra. Meet Sam, see how you get along with him both as a person and as a student, and then decide. If, for any reason, whether it¡¯s because you don¡¯t think you¡¯re being a good teacher, you don¡¯t get along with him or just plain homesickness, you decide that you want to come home, I¡¯ll personally come and get you. How about it then?¡±

    ¡°I said that I¡¯ll think about it. Why do I have to make a decision right now?¡±

    ¡°You know very well why when it comes to you. And if you happen to say no, then I want to get around to finding him another teacher as fast as possible. It¡¯ll take some time to vet the candidates after all.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m still not going to give you my answer right now. I have to think about it.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ How long will you need? A week?¡±

    ¡°Sure, a week will be fine. I¡¯ll want to talk with Yv anyway, and I have a call with her scheduled in a couple of days.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to tell her what we talked about, right?¡±

    ¡°Of course I am. Why wouldn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Why? Just think about. She didn¡¯t tell you about Sam at all. Wouldn¡¯t you like to get her back by keeping this a secret?¡±

    ¡°No! We¡¯re friends. Those are completely different things.¡±

    ¡°Fine, but consider this. If you tell her, then what are the chances that she won¡¯t tell Sam, or tell someone else so that this will eventually get back to Sam?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ zero percent.¡±

    ¡°Exactly!¡±

    ¡°Exactly what?¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t let Sam know about this. It would ruin the surprise!¡±

    ¡°Why is surprising him even a part of the equation?¡±

    ¡°Cause it¡¯s funny.¡±

    ¡°Really? That¡¯s all you got, that it¡¯s funny?¡±

    ¡°What? Not good enough for you? OK, so how about this? If you truly want to judge Sam for yourself, then wouldn¡¯t you rather drop on him without notice, instead of giving him time to prepare for a meeting with you?¡±

    ¡°What is he, some kind of mastermind sociopath?¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon! Just give me this one tiny thing.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m already giving you going to New Terra to help your new mentee. That¡¯s a pretty big thing.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t count because you¡¯re also better off going to New Terra. By the way, I¡¯m glad that we didn¡¯t need to wait the whole week after all for you to come to a decision.¡±

    Erianna shook her head with a laugh. ¡°You¡¯re unbearable¡­ Fine, I promise not to tell Yvessa about me potentially coming to New Terra next year. But I am going to ask her about this Sam person before I make a decision, because you made it clear that you are far from an unbiased source.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s unbiased? I just think that he¡¯s a great guy, funny, smart, of good moral character. And that he¡¯s going to be the prophesied hero who will carry us all to victory.¡±

    ¡°You, verbatim, said the same thing about me when you announced that you were my mentor eight years ago.¡±

    ¡°The Web¡¯s a big place. We can have two chosen-one heroes. Write it down: In ten years¡¯ time, it will be Erianna Ninae and Sam Anders, saviors of the Web!¡±

 Chapter 63

    Sam woke up without a pounding headache. Which made sense because even though the free drinks from yesterday bypassed his strongest barrier against getting drunk, the fact that he couldn¡¯t actually get drunk just yet prevented him from seeing much utility to drinking much of the, admittedly, pretty sweet wine. So his third and last glass ended up being just before the last slice of cake. And since the picnic carried on for quite a while after that and Felix got very drunk indeed, his imbibing last night was quite the picture of temperance as far as Sam was concerned.

    Although, he did end up forcing the three of his friends to promise him that sometime in the future, when the prospect of having a day off wouldn¡¯t be a moral failure in Sam¡¯s eyes, that they¡¯d all get well and proper drunk together. The definition of which, to be decided at said time in the future.

    But for now, there was no sense worrying, or dare he think it, looking forward to the hypothetical future in which Sam was confident enough in himself and his progress that he allowed possibly two whole days to be written off. For now, there were the very real seven days that stitch up each week and stretch through the remainders of the school year in which he would have to try and make up for his deficiencies compared to his peers.

    Sam had already made a mental list about where he should hope to be in half a year¡¯s time in relation to the current first years. The list¡¯s stated purpose was to calm his worries by pointing out that it was more than reasonable to be behind on some matters. But at the same time, that catching up on them was also very feasible. It worked, if just barely, and only because he shared said list with his friends yesterday and they all nodded along with his optimistic conclusions.

    Item one on the list was, of course, Sam¡¯s level, which had probably only barely began to move from zero. His goal, as dictated by both Dan, in order for him to be able to start imprinting and Farris, in order for him to be able to start learning about threads, was to reach level 1 by the end of the year. An impossible task on the face of it because it took the average Terran about three years to make up their first level. Of course, Sam wasn¡¯t your average Terran. He was blessed (brute luck as a result of Web-Web¡¯s intervention, which by itself was guided by brute luck) with the most perfect pathways a person could have.

    But so was Sarah, and it took her more than two years to make it up a level. But, from that despairing evidence, rose a much more hopeful conclusion. Because Maurice took less than two years to reach level 1, only a year and a half. And the only empirically objective difference between the two was the matter of age. Maurice was older, so it took him less time to cultivate to a higher level. Said conclusion was further strengthened by past observations of the older Terran Taken, which would have been very useless during the Integration War if it took them three years to reach level 1 (although they had the added variable of being able to get energy from felling the monstrous Harots invaders).

    So reaching level 1 in half a year¡¯s time was not out of the realm of possibilities for Sam. He was, after all, a talented and intelligent young man. Much faster than a twelve years-old at grasping the concepts of gathering being taught to him and much more determined to make use of them. In short, getting to level 1 before the second year started was a valid and attainable goal.

    Crisis of faith averted. As long as he didn¡¯t focus on the fact that the average level at the beginning of year two was much closer to 3 than it was to 1.

    The second goal on the list was making up the gaps in his knowledge. A goal which on paper appeared rather easy because Sam only had half a year of catching up to his peers to do, the additional aid of an older, more experienced mind, and private instruction for the most difficult and time-consuming subjects. The problem arose when you took into consideration that his mind was also more rigid than his peers¡¯, more resistant to thinking in terms of magic being a possibility. Add to that, the fact that in all his private lessons so far, he has yet to be taught anything on the academy curriculum and only stuff that every new cadet is bound to know.

    Those two aspects made the attainability of the goal of starting next year with the same knowledge base as everyone else¡¯s, much more uncertain. It was a question of whether his own personal qualities and prior knowledge were sufficient to bridge the gap; provided Sam put in as much effort into it as possible (and wasn¡¯t that the single most recurring question on Sam¡¯s mind ever since his first night here?). But there were already plans made, and a schedule designed with the intention of meeting this exact goal, so there was no rationality in continuing to worry about it as long as Sam adhered to them.

    The third and fourth goal were directly intertwined and also happened to not worry Sam all that much. There were also the most amorphous of his goals, having no definite end line or even an understanding of where his peers were in contrast to him. The third was getting in combat shape and the fourth was getting to be combat ready. In essence, getting fit and knowing how to fight. Getting in shape didn¡¯t worry him. As long as he continued to follow Sarah¡¯s guidance, there was no room for doubt or individual thinking. He had six workouts a week, with six more planned somewhere on the horizon. There really was no place for thinking as long as Sam kept to the schedule. Exercise was exercise and muscles were muscles.

    The only possible cause for concern between the two goals was him becoming a good fighter. But the concept of knowing how to actually fight was so alien to Sam that he couldn¡¯t see what more he could do other than attend Lin¡¯s lessons. Sure, in due time he would hopefully be competent enough to start sparring with other people and embark on his own path of spearfighting. That would require some independent thought, but he figured that by that point, he would have some more sense of what was required of him as a fighter. He had no idea how good he might be with a spear, and combat in general, in half a year (or how bad he might remain) and also no idea how good was the average Terran cadet, so he left the duty of judging his progress to other people.

    Then, there was the unsaid fifth goal, which was, in fact, the only one that truly mattered and was the culmination of the previous four. Sam being strong. A lean, mean killing machine capable of serving death to the Epirak invaders like the best of them. And since Sam wasn¡¯t going to go anywhere close to an Epirak for at least three years, that hopefully left enough time for him to transform from someone who was immediately going to get himself killed to someone who shows an inkling of the person he would have to become eventually.

    So those were his four stated goals for catching up with his peers: Level (really far behind, but on the way there, hopefully). Knowledge (also really far behind, but of a different sort. One that hopefully left him a chance to leapfrog ahead of the competition). Fitness (hopefully, two workouts a day in a year¡¯s time). And combat skill (being deemed good enough compared to his peers, hopefully before graduation). All culminating in his fifth unstated goal of becoming strong and combat capable (which was too abstract to receive a deadline and was thus, one would hope, not worth worrying about).

    ¡°Now¡­¡± Sam muttered to himself as he went down the stairs, ready to begin his day. ¡°The only question that remains: Is where does being a good person factor into this? What happened to being moral Sam? You got the chance to play a hero and suddenly all that matters is how good you are at swinging a sword? Sure, that¡¯ll carry you pretty far as long as your opponent is literal evil, but what happens in the day after when the question of making the correct ethical choice is back on the table?¡±

    That was indeed a troubling line of thought, and he hadn¡¯t even gone down the even more thorny road of the interaction between him as a personal combatant of great strength and the civilian government who had no material method to control him. Trouble, trouble¡­ he pondered. Then he saw Sarah waiting for him outside and the solution hit him. So simple, so elegant, so plagiaristic.

    ¡°Sarah, I just had the most brilliant of thoughts! My future path has revealed itself to me and I now know what is required of me in the way forward. The proper conduct of life has¡ªOK, if you¡¯re not going to stop me, then I¡¯m just going to keep talking forever and eventually I¡¯ll run out of bullshit to spout.¡±

    Sarah laughed, and they began walking towards the mess hall where Felix and Yvessa were already waiting for them. She texted him earlier in the day, right after he woke up (literally right after) and ¡°asked¡± him if he wanted to go to breakfast together. Apparently, on Sundays, she had an online lesson first thing in the morning, so she couldn¡¯t keep to her regular workout schedule. ¡°What did you discover then?¡± she asked.

    ¡°The unexamined life is not worth living! Now, I know what you might be thinking, ¡®Socrates? Phooey! Don¡¯t you have anything even more cliche in your arsenal of morning greetings?¡¯ But that¡¯s just the thing, the joke works this time! You see, I was just in the midst of being troubled by worries that by being so consumed with materialistic pursuits in the form of attaining great strength that I¡¯ll stray from the path of a proper moral person. Due to not keeping my virtuous senses sharp, of course, and failing to deduce the correct moral choice to make in a hypothetical future moral dilemma.¡±

    ¡°Sam.¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°I just got out of two hours of an incredibly dry and technical lesson, so please use more digestible words if you want me to understand you.¡±

    ¡°Agh! OK¡­ let me think how to say this. I¡¯ll start from my joke and make my way backwards if that¡¯s alright with you. So, it all solved itself when I realized that for the first time in my life, I have made some friends. That¡¯s the joke. Me having friends. For the first time¡­ You get it. Anyway, how we get there, to the joke, is that you, my friends, are the solution to my problem of not being as focused on normative questions in the last week as I¡¯m used to. By combining my leisure time, that is the time spent in your company, with pondering time, I¡¯ll be able to kill two birds with one stone. Have fun while also working on unraveling the mysteries of life.¡±

    Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

    ¡°Ah ah. And how are you planning on doing that?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ do you remember three days ago when we spent the entire breakfast listening to me spreading dogma concerning referendums?¡±

    ¡°I seem to recall something like that, yes.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s pretty much the gist of it. I¡¯m going to just spout off nonsense concerning any field that¡¯s not of the pure sciences and you¡¯re going to be my captive audience. Subject to all of my declarative whims.¡±

    ¡°So you just want to talk to us philosophy?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much. But really any of the social sciences or humanities is fair game as far as I¡¯m concerned. Except the arts, those guys are hacks. But besides them, anything goes. As long as you don¡¯t contradict anything I¡¯m saying, of course.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s alright then, you do enough of that for the three of us. I can¡¯t wait to tell Felix the good news that he¡¯s going to be privy to some more elucidating discussions with you.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you just say not to use complex words? ¡®Elucidating¡¯ is pretty damn heavy.¡±

    ¡°What can I say? Conversing with you has been the perfect balm for my stilted and weary mind. I¡¯m feeling positively reinvigorated by this ¡®take¡¯ of yours that I¡¯m able to put all the dreariness of this morning¡¯s lesson behind me.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Be careful that these words won¡¯t come back to bite you in the future. I can be very dry myself if I put my mind to it. Not to mention my similar effects on persons of the opposite sex.¡±

    ¡°Ew!¡± She lightly slapped him on his shoulder.

    Sam took the hit with dignity, his newly formed muscled at work in protecting his soft inner shell. ¡°What course was that anyway? And why are you even having online lessons? Not that I¡¯m against those, of course, but it seems pretty useless seeing as all the students are living on campus.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just the thing. The course is shared between all five Terran Military Academies for combatants. There aren¡¯t enough people in any given academy interested in it to warrant in person classes. Although, that might not be completely true because this year, the course had two available time slots. What is absolutely true is that the professor has no interest in getting out of her house and coming here in person.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s that good? Or is the subject that niche?¡±

    ¡°A little of both. She¡¯s teaching dwarven patterns and despite being Terran and never going to Pyllan to study, she¡¯s regarded very highly by the dwarven academia.¡±

    ¡°Question. Why is dwarven patterns a niche subject?¡±

    ¡°Because they are only used in artifice and the dwarven methods of magical engineering, they are much less useful, bordering on useless, compared to other, more common patterns when it comes to anything else. For example, their method can¡¯t create the pattern we use in order to enhance our passive gathering and can only achieve that same result by creating an artifact with a much more complex set of patterns.¡±

    ¡°So why are you studying that, then? You¡¯re not planning to go into artifact creating, are you?¡±

    ¡°Not at all. But I simply think that having as broad an overview of knowledge as possible is only going to help me in the long run. What if it turns out that the dwarven methodology for patterns is also useful for something else? Say surgery perhaps?¡±

    ¡°Is that a complete hypothetical, or do you have some concrete hopes?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. My point is that dwarven patterns are the best at what they do and that is imprinting objects. That is, imprinting not of the self. Currently, imprinting another living being is impossible, but what if the dwarven method holds the key to doing just that? There¡¯s been patterns that have proven successful in combating cancer, but imprinting them requires a master¡¯s hand so the average person won¡¯t ever be able to complete them. Can you imagine it? Going to an oncologist and instead of being told that your best treatment for pancreatic cancer is to somehow climb two levels in three years. You¡¯re told that they¡¯re just scheduling you for a couple of sessions of imprinting, after which the pattern will get you healed up by itself. And that¡¯s just the civilian applications! One of the most important military consequences is that once secondary imprinting is possible, we won¡¯t have to train low-level combatant in imprinting if they aren¡¯t interested in tackling the higher levels.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­. That does sound great, even though I still have no idea what some of the stuff you¡¯re talking about means. But¡­ I¡¯m guessing that since the course only has two offerings across all military academies, that most people don¡¯t share your optimism regarding the discoveries to be made by studying the subject.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ dwarven patterns are really, really hard. I¡¯ll make a reminder to show you the material we went over in the first lesson in a year¡¯s time. Once you already have the required theoretical background to theoretically understand what they¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s very nice of you to see me as being anywhere close to where you are knowledge wise in a year¡¯s time.¡±

    ¡°Not close. Ahead. It took me until lesson three to finally understand what she was talking about.¡±

    Sam held his hands up in defeat. ¡°So what¡¯s the course officially called? So that I won¡¯t even have to waste a second in the future wondering whether to take it or not. I could just skim its name on the list of elective courses and not even bother opening its syllabus.¡±

    ¡°Theoretical Framework of Dwarven Designed Patterns and Their Underlying Foundations and Principles. Yeah¡­ The title is the least obtuse thing about the course.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re making it very hard for me to feel even a tiny bit of sympathy for you. Even as someone who doesn¡¯t know anything about anything, I could tell that the course was going to be a total slog by that name alone.¡±

    ¡°No sympathy required. I knew what I was getting myself into and despite the difficulty, I¡¯m glad that I¡¯m taking the course. It¡¯s important to broaden your horizons as much as possible before you get too set in your ways. ¡®Experience all that the world has to offer before your core becomes ethereal,¡¯ as they say.¡±

    ¡°Oh god¡­ Why did you have to go and remind me about that whole muddling business? I managed to forget that it existed just fine up until now. Great, that¡¯s just another aspect in which I have to catch up to everyone else here.¡± They had reached the mess hall by now, so he grabbed a tray with a weary sigh and waved it at her despondently.

    ¡°You¡¯ll be fine,¡± she said with a smile, but before she could elucidate her point, they had to split up according to their meal preferences. ¡°Natural muddling is fast enough of a process for most people not to bother with the active method,¡± she continued once they met back up and went about finding their friends. ¡°Even for soldiers like us. After all, pretty much everyone has an ethereal core by the time they¡¯re forty, and people like us, who make much more frequent use of their cores? Even earlier than that. Didn¡¯t Dan explain that to you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, he did. Right between sips of boiling hot tea which he found out in the past made his core¡¯s muddling much faster.¡±

    She shrugged before sitting down next to Yvessa. ¡°Everyone has their habits and mannerisms. Dan found something that was easy to do frequently and believes that it gave him a tangible improvement in return. I wouldn¡¯t pay that any attention if I were you. You have plenty to focus on already.¡±

    ¡°What are you guys talking about?¡± Felix asked. ¡°Sarah¡¯s insane electives choices?¡±

    ¡°No, that was the previous topic of discussion. Right now, I was telling Sam that he shouldn¡¯t waste energy worrying about muddling.¡±

    ¡°Why not? Maybe he¡¯ll find out that he¡¯s really good at it and that¡¯ll help him get an edge over everyone else. Come to think of it, Yvessa, didn¡¯t you say that muddling was the one subject in which you were definitely better than your¡ªotherwise perfect¡ªbest friend?¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°Erianna always had a spot of trouble with muddling. It took her an extra month after making level 1 to reach fragmented. And after that, she wasn¡¯t making any spectacular progress towards malleable. But it doesn¡¯t really matter, does it? She¡¯s cultivating plenty fast as it is, so it¡¯s not like she needs the extra speed from having a more muddled core.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but what about our boy Sam here? He has all the same gifts that your Mary Sue of a friend has: pathways, Thread-Weaver and what not. But he might also be good at something she sucks at. Which would make his cultivation speeds event faster than ¡®plenty fast¡¯ and god knows that he¡¯s gonna need it. What? Why are you all looking at me like that? I¡¯m just telling the truth. He might have a real talent for the stuff and it¡¯s stupid to dismiss its usefulness outright.¡±

    ¡°Are you good with muddling, then?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Better than anyone else at this table, for sure. I checked. One day after level 1.¡± He pointed at Yvessa. ¡°Sarah: three days before, or so she thinks at least, definitely less than a week. Yours truly, on the other hand? A whole week and a half before I made level 1. And I¡¯m already almost halfway to malleable if I¡¯m not wrong. So that¡¯s pretty damn good, even for someone who¡¯s already as amazing as I am.¡±

    Yvessa rolled her eyes at him. ¡°And which one of us was it that made it to level 2 first?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s different! You come from a privileged background, so obviously you¡¯ll have better results when the distribution of resources isn¡¯t equal between us. We can only judge based on achievement since starting in the academy together, i.e. who makes it to level 3 first.¡±

    ¡°You just brought up being the first to reach a fragmented core.¡±

    ¡°Anyway, Sam, I really think that you should give active muddling a go once you have your bearings, say, when you¡¯re close to level 1. You might find that it comes really easy for you, and that in an hour of muddling a week, you¡¯ll be able to get what most people get of their proscribed habits in a year. There¡¯s no reason to give up a possible advantage, is there?¡±

    ¡°I guess not,¡± Sam said. ¡°How does one even muddle their core anyway? Dan didn¡¯t explain the process back when he told me about it.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s real easy. You just focus on your core and¡ª¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± Sarah said. ¡°You¡¯re just going to get him dizzy and give him a headache.¡± She turned to Sam. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean that you shouldn¡¯t give active muddling a go yourself eventually, but you¡¯re just going to waste time trying it anytime soon. Honestly? There really isn¡¯t a reason to do it before your core becomes fragmented. So, if I were you, I¡¯d wait until then.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, come to think of it. I actually agree with her. Plus, if you¡¯re actually good at it, then you might make it to fragmented more than a week and a half before you reach level 1. We don¡¯t want that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great,¡± Sam said. ¡°So we just brought that topic back up again, only for it to be immediately shut down and delayed for a future showing. That¡¯s just great.¡±

    ¡°Look, Sarah¡¯s right. If you try to muddle right now, you¡¯re only going to give yourself a headache, but if you want me to explain the process, then I would be more than happy to.¡±

    ¡°Nah, that¡¯s alright. After all, we only started on this topic because I complained to Sarah after she made me remember that muddling exists after I pretty much forgot about it.¡±

    ¡°Probably the smartest course of action,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Muddling is arguably the subject in which you have the least to catch up on. So there¡¯s no reason to start chipping away at it right now. Plus, muddling is really not a big deal. Even Felix, despite what he might claim, doesn¡¯t spend all that much time doing it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s true¡­¡± Felix nodded. ¡°Which, again, just goes to show how great I am.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I think if there¡¯s one thing that we should all take away from today is to remember how great Felix is.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Sam cupped his hand next to his ear. ¡°Did you say ¡®how gay Felix is?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Ha ha, great joke.¡± Felix didn¡¯t laugh. ¡°Maybe next time she¡¯ll be speaking English and it¡¯ll actually make sense.¡±

    ¡°Maybe next time you¡¯ll be less gay and it still wouldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°How does one go about being less gay?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ Fuck less dudes?¡±

    ¡°Surely it would still leave me the same amount of gay. A person in a committed monogamous relationship isn¡¯t any less gay than someone who sleeps with a different person every day.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s true¡­ he got me there.¡±

 Chapter 64

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Yvessa said while turning to Sarah, ¡°how was your dwarven patterns lesson? Ready to give up yet?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely not. Even if I don¡¯t understand all of it, I still get most of it. And I sincerely believe that it¡¯s knowledge like that which is going to help me the most in the long run.¡±

    Felix groaned. ¡°Oh here we go again: ¡®Every little bit helps¡­¡¯ The only thing that course helps you with is in becoming even more of a nerd than you already are.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam objected. ¡°That¡¯s my nerd mother, you¡¯re talking about, you son of¡ªOw!¡±

    ¡°Just remember this when next year comes and it¡¯ll be time for me to make fun of all the electives you guys chose,¡± Sarah said as she smoothed out the evidence of her domestic abuse.

    ¡°What for?¡± Felix asked. ¡°You¡¯ll probably be taking the same ones with us to catch up.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re relented on not taking any ¡®non-combat¡¯ electives?¡± Yvessa asked him.

    ¡°Eh¡­ I¡¯ll take the big ones. Common Artifacts, Civilian Patterns and what not. You know, all the ones that Sarah put off for next year because she doesn¡¯t have enough time to take now.¡±

    ¡°I took Civilian Patterns last year,¡± Sarah said. ¡°You¡¯re thinking of the advanced version of that course which I told you I wanted to take but ended up not taking. And that was only because I was advised to wait until year three.¡±

    ¡°So what counts as civilian patterns?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I¡¯m assuming that it¡¯s like the patterns that make you fall asleep easily or that you won¡¯t need to brush your teeth that I keep feeling angry about not having.¡±

    ¡°What for? Didn¡¯t you say that you¡¯re having a remarkably easy time falling asleep?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but it could always be better, and more risk averse. Also, I still have to waste four whole minutes, five if you count the extra minute from the mouthwash, on stupid dental care. And you know how I feel about both wasting my time and dental care.¡±

    Yvessa nodded with false gravity. ¡°We¡¯ve heard plenty about you and wasted time. But what¡¯s your problem with dental care? Cause I personally really hate the taste and texture of the toothpaste. Best thing about making level 2 was imprinting the pattern and not having to force myself to brush my teeth anymore.¡±

    ¡°Not that, although I did have some problems with not brushing my teeth. But that wasn¡¯t due to anything external, but rather just me being a lazy asshole. No, my real problem with dental care is, like all of my problems, due to circumstances beyond my control. My genetics.¡±

    ¡°Your genetics?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Well, maybe it wasn¡¯t my genetics per se, I don¡¯t know I¡¯m not a geneticist, but it had to something to do with the body I was born in. You see¡­ I was born with a fucked up jaw that prevented me from being able to grow one tooth and so I had to get a dental implant¡ªActually, never mind, forget about that. I¡¯ll keep that story for another time, because it¡¯s a whole bit and it leads into another story and I, I¡­ I just don¡¯t have the power to do it justice right at this time.¡±

    ¡°Well, keep us updated, mate,¡± Felix said. ¡°We¡¯re on the edge of our sits here. Back to your original question, however. Civilian patterns are any pattern that¡¯s not classified as a military or combat one. The obvious examples are patterns that pretty much everyone uses in their day-to-day life, but it can also be patterns that are incredibly niche and basically no one is using them. But, despite not being classified as military, it doesn¡¯t mean that the patterns aren¡¯t applicable to us, which is why most people take that course during their studies. Although, from what I heard, they end up teaching you the practical stuff during Military Training anyway. So that might make the usefulness of the course go down a bit.¡±

    ¡°No way,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You don¡¯t want to be the only one who has to spend a week taking toilet paper with him everywhere because you still haven¡¯t imprinted the Ass-Wash pattern.¡±

    ¡°Oh wow,¡± Sam said. ¡°Tell me more about that. Has humanity finally taken the bidet¡¯s form to its natural conclusion?¡±

    ¡°Technically, it¡¯s not called the Ass-Wash pattern. The ass-washing isn¡¯t even the most important aspect of the pattern, which is to provide you with water when there is none.¡±

    ¡°But most people call it the Ass-Wash Pattern because, of course you would,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Basically, the pattern just causes water to condense at a specific point on your body. Your mouth if your thirsty or you ass if you want to clean it. It¡¯s relatively tricky to imprint, requiring level 4 for most people, but it can obviously be a lifesaver in certain circumstances.¡±

    ¡°Stinky butt.¡±

    ¡°Fascinating,¡± Sam said. ¡°What other marvels did magic bring upon our modern civilization? Can you completely stop yourself from having to shit once level 8? Thus solving the biggest cause of soldiers¡¯ death for most of history?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Huh¡­ Figures. But nonetheless disappointing. I guess magic can only take you so far.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not,¡± Felix said gravely. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s up for us to take it even further. To the extreme reaches of human imagination. But to do so, we must constantly seek out new and forbidden knowledge, never taking anything for gra¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not doing that,¡± Yvessa cut him off. ¡°C¡¯mon Frankenstein, we need to get to class and seek out your precious knowledge.¡±

    ¡°Huh¡­¡± Sam murmured once they both left.

    ¡°What?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°She used Frankenstein correctly. Do you think that it was on purpose, or do I still have a chance to make fun of her?¡±

    ¡°Why does your mind always go towards making fun of people?¡±

    ¡°Do you want a serious answer or one that makes fun of me?¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Never mind. We should get going as well. My class is on the way to Dan¡¯s. I¡¯ll walk with you.¡±

    ¡°Damn¡­¡± Sam smacked his palm to his knuckles once they were outside. ¡°I just realized that I forgot to mention my new revelation to them.¡±

    ¡°The day¡¯s not over yet. You¡¯ll have another chance to educate them at dinnertime.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but what if they die before then? They¡¯re going to go to their afterlife without the knowledge that I was about to uplift them from their base desires and thoughts.¡±

    ¡°That does sound unfortunate. On the other hand, if they manage to die before dinner, it¡¯ll also mean that you didn¡¯t waste your time preaching to them. And isn¡¯t the time you gained offsets their eternal suffering?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ That¡¯s a valid point. But on the bright side, at least you¡¯ll have the pleasure of experiencing my illuminating all for yourself.¡±

    ¡°Ordinarily I¡¯d love to, but my class is over there. We¡¯ll have to keep it for later, I¡¯m afraid.¡±

    ¡°Very well. Take care not to die.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try not to.¡±

    Sam finished the rest of the walk to Dan¡¯s in silence, not bothering to put on his headphones for the short distance. Most unusual from him. Once at Dan¡¯s office, his level 10 private tutor greeted him with a smile. ¡°Had fun yesterday?¡±

    ¡°What? Oh, you mean the picnic? Yeah, I guess I did. Who told you about that?¡±

    ¡°Nobody. I was asking about your training session with Lin. Did you really have a picnic? Sounds fun.¡±

    ¡°Sure was. Sarah forced all three of us special kids to go up a mountain and get drunk while staring at the sunset. We talked about light-hearted and enlivening topic such as the prospect of failing in one¡¯s duties due to one¡¯s own faults and what are the chances that we and everyone we love is going to die in the fires of war when the Epiraks swoop down from the north to slaughter us all.¡±

    ¡°Ah yes, the Saturday special. I¡¯m well familiar with it. And I also assume that both subjects were connected one to another? Your own failure in living up to your duty, whatever it may be, resulting in a significant loss of life in the war.¡±

    ¡°Total loss of life, more like.¡±

    ¡°Truly? Oh my. That is quite a dire and heavy burden to carry on one¡¯s shoulders.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯ve been telling Sarah. But she¡¯s refused to alter my workout routine any easier.¡±

    Dan smiled and took a sip of his tea. ¡°And what was the conclusion of your discussion? Did your friends mollify your worries about our possible defeat in the war?¡±

    ¡°What makes you think that they weren¡¯t a part of them as well? Maybe we all spiraled together into hopelessness.¡±

    ¡°Did you?¡±

    ¡°No. I was the only one touting defeat in the war as a possibility. The folly of old age, I suppose. But don¡¯t worry, even though I¡¯m not convinced of the imperviousness of our position, I¡¯m not going to lose hope and declare the war doomed and defeat certain.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t the least bit worried. You¡¯re made of much sterner stuff than that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a very positive opinion of me.¡±

    ¡°Well I hold a very high opinion of you. Despite having just met.¡± Sam gulped, he didn¡¯t have an answer ready for such a straight laced compliment. ¡°But back to my first question, although I¡¯d be very happy to spend some time with you after our lessons or during lunch, discussing the state of the war in order to calm your fears. How was your lesson with Lin Jingway yesterday? And please, be honest, remember that I need the truth in order to make the best decisions as your teacher.¡±

    ¡°Why? Are you worried that Lin isn¡¯t being a good teacher for me?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps. Lin can be somewhat abrasive and¡­ particular about his role as a teacher, at the best of times. At his worst, he actively neglects the less talented of his pupils in order to focus solely on those he sees as promising.¡±

    ¡°Then why did you pick him as my combat instructor?¡±

    ¡°Because he is the best spear fighter in the academy, bar none. And is in very close contention for the best physical fighter overall as well. Plus, despite my previous unsympathetic assessment of him, at the end of the day, Lin is a good teacher. He is very rarely at his worst and is most times at his best. And I hoped that your unique circumstance would have made sure that he would always be on his best behavior when teaching you. And that was before Farris¡¯ intervention, which I¡¯m sure has pretty much clinched his devotion to your education. But whatever the case, it is still my duty to make sure that you are being taught well and that you are, in fact, making good progress as reported.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s reported that I¡¯m making good progress? We¡¯ve only had three lessons.¡±

    ¡°And we only had three more. It¡¯s amazing how much progress you can make in a subject when you start from scratch, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°If you say so¡­ As for me, I still think that I¡¯m just as shit with a spear, or fighting in general, as I was a week ago, thank you very much.¡±

    ¡°Then either yours or Lin¡¯s assessment is wrong. On the one hand, I¡¯d put more credence into Lin¡¯s ability to judge a person¡¯s combat skill than yours. But I suppose that he could be fabricating your improvements in order to make himself seem better? Although his reporting to me hadn¡¯t differed much between your first and second session, despite him having a much better reason to lie in the latter.¡±

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    ¡°Fine, what do you want me to say? That I have no basis on which to judge my own ability and no one to compare myself to and that my assessment of myself is best viewed from the lenses of my tendency to criticize myself? The facts are that I don¡¯t know one way or the other whether I¡¯m doing well in my lessons with Lin, so I have no (rational) problem with taking him at his word.¡±

    Dan sighed. ¡°I was afraid that this was the case. But even so, I¡¯d like you to try and look at yourself objectively. Do you think there¡¯s any reason why you shouldn¡¯t continue your spear lessons with Lin? Either due to his nature as a teacher or due to you simply not being compatible with a spear?¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Now you¡¯re asking that? After I already accepted for myself a famous spear user as a mentor? Nah, don¡¯t worry about it. I don¡¯t feel any obvious sign of conflict between myself and Lin or me and the spear. Just the usual feelings of inadequacy that come with almost everything I put my mind to. But, speaking concretely, I don¡¯t think that you should decide for a change in my routine with Lin because, like I said, my feelings about my lessons with him are pretty much the same as those with you. And I¡¯m not even going to entertain the idea of changing you as my teacher.¡±

    ¡°Good. Because I¡¯ve worked hard enough designing your schedule as it is. How is that going, by the way? Today is technically your first day of the school year, after all.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s pretty fine. I finished going over all the non-fantasy and military courses that you¡¯re having me study. I¡¯m pretty much familiar with most of them, one way or another, although I¡¯m sure that there are some gaps between my knowledge and your modern insights. But my thinking is that unless you want to test me on that stuff, that I¡¯m probably going to just skim the courses that I¡¯m already familiar with.¡±

    ¡°I suppose that I could make the case for you not to be tested on those subjects. At least those that you¡¯ve purported to already having studied. Tell you what, I¡¯ll arrange for to have an oral exam for all subjects not under my purview. And in the case that the examining teacher doesn¡¯t give you a passing grade, you¡¯ll get a second try a couple of weeks later.¡±

    ¡°Sweet! That gets me out of math and statistics then.¡±

    ¡°We already agreed that you weren¡¯t going to be examined on those subjects. But, like I told you already, I¡¯m still suggesting that you make your way through the entire textbooks.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I already started today. It¡¯s funny, you know? You keep telling yourself that you hate math, but it¡¯s not until you sit down and try to learn it, that you truly remember why you hated it in the first place.¡±

    Dan laughed. ¡°Can¡¯t say I blame you. But even if you don¡¯t end up making much use of it as a combatant, you¡¯re still going to make some. And it¡¯s that some that might save your life one day. Then again, I imagine that my math skills are, and always have been, even worse than you claim yours to be and it hadn¡¯t given me any trouble. Of course, don¡¯t take it as a reason to dismiss the field. It¡¯s like Maurice is fond of saying: ¡®every little bit helps.¡¯ But forget about that, we won¡¯t need to bring too much math into our lessons together. And when we do, it¡¯s nothing too complex. So you can rest easy as far as we¡¯re concerned. Now, I think we¡¯ve spent enough time talking today instead of studying, so let¡¯s get back to that. We¡¯ll start today with gathering for a change.¡±

    And just like that, it was a couple of hours later, the day having been spent in very much the same way as two days ago, and Sam found himself complaining to his friends about his hatred of math.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know why you feel like you get to complain about this,¡± Felix told him. ¡°We have to take the same stupid courses that you do, only we have to do the stupid tests. And we don¡¯t get a fancy oral exam.¡±

    ¡°What are you moaning about?¡± Yvessa chided Felix. ¡°You¡¯re good with math.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m OK with it, but I don¡¯t like it. And I¡¯m really not OK with, and really don¡¯t like, statistics which I still don¡¯t understand why we even need to learn. But what I really don¡¯t like and don¡¯t understand the reason for are all the other stupid courses that Sam got an exemption from. Who gives a fuck about ethics? We¡¯re fighting the Epiraks for fuck¡¯s sake, not human beings.¡±

    ¡°On no,¡± Sarah said with a light laugh. ¡°You triggered him, and at the same time you gave him a perfect segue to something that he wanted to talk to you about since the morning.¡±

    She was, of course, speaking of Sam, whose head was swiveling around its axis and whose mouth was foaming as a result of Felix¡¯s abrupt dismissal of the most important subject of a human being¡¯s intellectual pursuit. ¡°How dare you! You might be fighting against ultimate evil, an assumption which, by the way, I¡¯m only taking for granted until I meet an Epirak in the flesh, per my mentor¡¯s suggestions. But that doesn¡¯t give you the right to forgo the studying the intricacies of morals and virtues. Say one day you win the war, and you have to design a new world order. How are you going to do that without knowing what is right and what is wrong?¡±

    ¡°But that¡¯s not ethics,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°That¡¯s political science and or political philosophy.¡±

    ¡°Indeed. All fields which are worthless without having a goal to aspire to. How can you decide which is the best form of government without deciding what is best in it of itself? And what use is an empirical analysis of which government policy was most effective without an understanding of what a government should aim to achieve? It all rests on ethics, just like Plato said. Although he went in the opposite direction, which, respect, but it¡¯s pretty weird.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t Plato a fascist?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Proto-totalitarian if anything. And no, I¡¯ll have to disagree with my boy Popper on that point and argue that Plato wasn¡¯t that bad. I mean, take his whole kidnapping children and brainwashing them with state propaganda bit. That¡¯s pretty much the public school system in most modern countries. And thank god for that.¡±

    ¡°Do you get off or something on name-dropping a bunch of dead people that no one else besides you knows who they are?¡±

    ¡°What d¡¯you mean? You don¡¯t know Popper? Karl Popper? That¡¯s outrageous! What are they even teaching you guys?¡±

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you know? You said you looked through the syllabus of all the courses whose material you¡¯re familiar with. Besides, there¡¯s so much bullshit in philosophy and all that other crap that we have to study here. You can¡¯t really expect us to go over everything? We¡¯re here to learn how to fight, not how to be a better person.¡±

    ¡°Oh ho¡­ just you wait buddy, just you wait. Soon enough you¡¯re going to discover that we¡¯re actually in a cultivation novel, but instead of stealing from eastern philosophy and misrepresenting it, it¡¯s western. Soon enough you¡¯ll discover that actual strength comes from knowing the Forms and everything else is a poor imitation of them. And from that point, it¡¯s just one small step to a world where my number one boy, Kant, was completely right and not only does the transcendental exist, but communing with it using rationality is truly the only way to express free will. Because, of course, until you do that, you¡¯re bound by the chains of the material plane you¡¯re in because you are literally not strong enough to escape the influence of determinism.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to be honest with you. I stopped listening when you mentioned Kant. That actually happens to be someone I do know, because they¡¯re forcing us to learn about him. And I just¡­ I hate that guy. He¡¯s so dry, he¡¯s so boring, not to mention stupid. I mean, you can¡¯t lie even if it¡¯s to save someone¡¯s life? How insane is that?¡±

    ¡°Oh no.¡± Sarah laughed. ¡°Now you¡¯ve really got him going. He loves Kant.¡±

    ¡°Really? How¡¯d you know that? I mean, how does that even come up?¡±

    ¡°First day we met. Quite literally one of the few things he said to me that wasn¡¯t just a response to what I was saying. It was Kant and Descartes, actually.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s weird.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not weird, you bloody bastard!¡± Sam bellowed at him, drawing a furious breath afterwards. His whole body was shaking at the audacity, the depravity, the blind hate he had just been witness to. ¡°How dare you¡­ how dare you! To speak so crassly of one of humanity¡¯s greatest thinkers! I am appalled. Disgusted. Outraged. Who do you think you are? Nietzsche?¡±

    ¡°See again with the name dropping¡­ I don¡¯t know who that guy is.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because you skipped today¡¯s lesson,¡± Yvessa chastised Felix.

    ¡°Oh. Well, can you blame me? Kant was just so boring.¡±

    ¡°Alright Sarah, hold me back! Hold me back! I¡¯m going to go pragmatist on his ass!¡± Sarah laughed and made only a token effort at restraining Sam.

    ¡°Now the guy before Kant that we learned about, Mill, now that guy makes sense. I like utilitarianism, clean and simple. If you need to give the life of one level 5 soldier to save ten, you do it. That¡¯s just basic military strategy.¡±

    Sam froze in place, his shoulders sagging in Sarah¡¯s hands. It was amazing how fast you could go from liking someone, respecting them even, to viewing them as a complete and utter bastard and moron. But while Sam was in shock, Yvessa took up arms in defense of liberty. ¡°Three weeks ago you were making fun of utilitarianism for not making sense. If I remember correctly, your argument basically amounted to saying it¡¯s stupid to always have to sit down and solve a math problem before making any decision.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ but I was pretty much just parroting what the professor and the textbook criticized. Besides, it¡¯s still an easier and more practical method than having to come up with a stupid maxim or whatever every time.¡±

    ¡°Only the first time!¡± Sam blurted out at great speed.

    ¡°Eh¡­ whatever. It¡¯s still stupid.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re stupid!¡±

    ¡°Actually Sam,¡± said Sarah, ¡°I don¡¯t think Felix is being stupid at all¡ª¡±

    ¡°Why thank you, Sarah.¡± Felix smiled.

    ¡°You¡¯re welcome. Clearly, he put a considerable amount of thought into the subject, despite his initial claim that he doesn¡¯t care one whit about ethics. Doesn¡¯t that make him a perfect candidate for the role of conversation partner for you?¡±

    ¡°What, are you trying to get you and Yvessa off the hook?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯re all going to be a part of our thought-provoking discussions. I¡¯m not going to single anyone out. Unless Felix starts agreeing with Peter Singer, that is.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know who that is,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°He¡¯s one of those bastards¡­ Those rare few moral philosophers who actually live the way they preach. A total whack job.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with that?¡±

    ¡°Nothing much by itself, it¡¯s just that he¡¯s a fun enough character to pick on, being a stupid utilitarian and whatnot. And although you could argue that he has some questionable moral views that you wouldn¡¯t want someone to act upon, it¡¯s not anywhere near the big leagues of bad ¡®moral¡¯ actors like Nazis and other sorts of supremacists and assholes. Oh, by the way, I am totally going to kick your ass when I¡¯m strong enough for disrespecting Kant the way you did.¡±

    ¡°I seriously don¡¯t get why you like that guy so much. He¡¯s impossible to read.¡±

    ¡°Just wait until you get to him next trimester on your course on metaphysics and epistemology,¡± Sarah Said. ¡°If you thought he was hard to understand now¡­¡±

    ¡°Urgh¡­ seriously? How do we get no break from the guy? At least we had the first trimester clear of him.¡±

    ¡°Ha! I beg to differ,¡± Sam said. ¡°I saw some of the stuff you already learned. Democratic peace? Who do you think came up with that? And hello? John Rawls? Another one of my boys, by the way. The whole veil of ignorance is just a more intuitive version of the categorical imperative. Face it, Felix, there is no studying modern philosophy without coming into contact with Kant or his influence. And that was before I entered the picture. Now, even if drop out of philosophy completely, you still won¡¯t find any escape. I¡¯m just going to be blaring at you like a siren, screaming, ¡®Felix, Felix, remember to never treat other people solely as a means to an end. You motherfucker.¡¯ And when I won¡¯t be blaring Kant, you can be sure as hell as hell I¡¯ll be parroting someone else. Spinoza maybe? Or someone who isn¡¯t as dear to me like, say, Hegel or Wittgenstein? Or Nozick maybe? To make fun of? And of course, if we survive long enough and climb high enough in our military career, then utilitarianism comes back into play in the form of Big Numbers Utilitarianism.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s big numbers utilitarianism?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s pretty much exactly what it sounds like, although with some self-made constructions in order to make it into a viable moral theory. But I don¡¯t want to get into it now. It¡¯s a whole thing. It¡¯s really heavy. I¡¯d rather save explaining it for another time.¡±

    ¡°Kind of like your dental story from this morning,¡± Felix remarked.

    ¡°Just like that. In fact, as it happens, they both have something to do with battles on an epic scale.¡±

    ¡°So does that mean that Mill is back in your good graces? Is he also one of your ¡®boys?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Please¡­ Mill was never out of my good graces. Utilitarianism being idiotic or not, Mill was an emasculated liberal and social justice warrior before those were a thing. John, Stuart Mill that is (come to think of it, it¡¯s pretty funny that I can easily think of three whole Johns as my top boys of the top of my head), is, and always have been, my boy.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Just how many boys do you have?¡±

    ¡°Well it depends on the subject, you know¡­ We have the big boys of the entire of philosophical thought. Then we have the divide between western and eastern philosophy (spoiler alert, I don¡¯t know anything near enough about eastern philosophy to have any of them as my boys on the undivided list). Then, of course, the sub-categories. Like let¡¯s say, Nietzsche isn¡¯t in the very big boys¡¯ clubs but he does manage to muscle his way into the just the ethical list. Or Hume, for example, who ranks higher on my total list of boys than just on that of ethics. And of course, you have the boys from other pursuits, both academic and artistic, and there can be some overlap. Leibniz, for example, big boy in math and science, but only a metaphysical boy, philosophy wise.¡±

    ¡°So much name dropping.¡± Felix massaged his temple.

    Yvessa laughed. ¡°And do you have any girls on your list? Or are they not good enough?¡±

    ¡°Heavens no!¡± Sam protested. ¡°If I start telling people that so and so are my girls, they¡¯ll put me in jail.¡±

    ¡°What about non-binary people?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°They¡¯re my boys. It¡¯s like ¡®dude.¡¯ The term is gender neutral.¡±

    ¡°So shouldn¡¯t that mean that you also have women as your boys?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, obviously. I¡¯m a sexist, not a moron. Some women are worthy of appreciation and being looked upon like a man. Marie Curie¡­ Nah that¡¯s pretty much it.¡±

    ¡°Sam.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m joking, I¡¯m joking, obviously. It¡¯s just that for most of human history, women have been prevented from accessing positions that would have allowed them easy access to be appreciated as my boys. And it¡¯s a proven fact that people in the past had a much easier time becoming my boys than their more modern counterparts. I mean, look at my great historical figures boys, for example: The latest entry to that list is Napoleon. Even great presidents like FDR, Lincoln or LBJ don¡¯t enter it. Of course, they have their own lists. Just like there are many women who are my boys, just not necessarily in the top ten of the big lists. Like Philippa Foot is in the top ten, but only in virtue ethics and not ethics in general, and not just because I don¡¯t like virtue ethics. But she and Judith Thomson are definitely in my list of modern moral philosophers boys. And of course you got great boys like Harriet Tubman and Elanor Roosevelt who are definitely my boys even if it¡¯s hard to put them on a concrete list.¡±

    ¡°Wow¡­¡± Yvessa expressed her awe with absolutely no sign of sarcasm. ¡°You¡¯re going to have a pretty hard time with the list in the coming years, then.¡±

    ¡°How come?¡±

    ¡°Think about it. Theres been a hundred years of human history which are wholly unlike those that came before. And there¡¯s also the entire history of all the other races to take into consideration. They all have great figures like Napoleon in their ranks.¡±

    ¡°Oh no¡­ I haven¡¯t considered that at all. That does sound like a great big hassle. Question for the table: Unlike with women in our history, I don¡¯t have a good enough excuse for the lack of other races from my list of boys. Do you think I could avoid accusations of racism by simply having one token boy of a different race in any given subject or so?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that you should mention to anyone who doesn¡¯t know you that you have boys,¡± Sarah said. ¡°So that make the whole thing moot.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ that makes sense. Because if they know me well enough for me to mention my boys, then they should already know that I¡¯m racist. Problem solved. Cardio anyone?¡±

 Chapter 65

    Sam woke up Tuesday morning with a crippling sense of anxiety squirming in his guts. He knew the reason for the feeling. And even though he repeated to himself that it was irrational to hold it, it didn¡¯t go away. Go figure.

    The reason for the feeling, he internalized, was that the previous day, heck, even Sunday, passed in such a blur to Sam¡¯s mind so that he was feeling unsettled by it. He got used to every day being a procession of going to different places, meeting different people and learning new things, so that one day of his first ten days on New Terra felt like ten days of his old, regular ones.

    But now, it seemed that the initial stage of him adjusting to his new life has finished and the second had begun. Habituation. The process by which the same plans outlined for each and every day were supposed to make the days seem identical to one another from a broad viewpoint. A process which, at the end, was supposed to make his new life easy and familiar by virtue of holding no unexpected surprises in store for him (such as getting kidnapped a hundred years into the future).

    The problem was that Sam was supposed to feel happy with this chain of events. He might not like to see himself as a creature of habit, but saying that he wasn¡¯t most comfortable with them would be an obvious lie. So why wasn¡¯t he feeling satisfied with the quick passage of yesterday to his perceptions? Why was he feeling anxious instead?

    The answer lay, of course, with the new meaning he had for the passing of time. Most of his life, it would have been, ¡°grow up, finish school, get a job, and achieve financial independence.¡± The only duty derived from his aspirations to the future and directed at the way he utilized the day was simply excelling in academics (or doing just good enough for him to feel happy with himself). When he was stuck in the hospital, the meaning of a passing day would have been to get used (both physically and emotionally) to his new state. A much harder goal, of course, but one that was at the same time easier to live with because it stretched out indefinitely and seemed so out of his hands at the time.

    But now, despite being back in school, academic excellence wasn¡¯t a goal in it of itself anymore but simply a means to an end (although one could argue that is also wasn¡¯t a goal before but simply a mean to securing himself a well-paying job. One could argue that. Sam would, but only depending on how he was feeling on that particular day. It was a very complex discussion). Now his goal for every passing day was to maximize it in such a way that would ensure he was becoming as strong as he could be and as fast as possible. A goal which was also a means to an end because his main drive (it was worth introspection whether it was his only drive) to become strong was the war in the north and, much more importantly, his role in it.

    So it was easy (as long as one was familiar with the byzantine machinations of Sam¡¯s mind) to understand why it was that he was feeling anxious about the previous day passing in a blur. A day being maximized should not feel like it passed in the blink of an eye, rather that he had to sweat tears and cry blood in order to fully maximize it.

    Of course, if I¡¯ve successfully created a habit of maximizing every day in accordance with my goal, then there is no reason to worry about the days beginning to feel familiar because they indeed are. Although there is the discussion of whether the new habit has opened a path for the day to be further maximized, thus beginning the whole cycle all over again. Doesn¡¯t matter to me though, because even if I have been maximizing every day since coming here (and big fucking spoiler alert, I wasn¡¯t), it still shouldn¡¯t have been enough time for me to get used to the new state of affairs so that a day well spent would pass as quickly as yesterday did.

    Then again, I could stop being such a little bitch. Trying to justify me feeling like shit because of stupid reasons, like simply getting used to my new life here. After all, didn¡¯t we start the day with the knowledge that this stupid knot in my gut is completely irrational and doesn¡¯t serve to drive me to better myself? Thus, doing away with any healthy psychological reason for the existence of anxiety in a person? ¡°Ugh¡­¡± he groaned into the wall padding covering the exercise room that somehow became his and Lin¡¯s permanent training place.

    ¡°What¡¯s got you so bothered this early in the day?¡± Lin asked him once he walked in a minute later, holding, as always, two pairs of spears.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± Sam lied, or perhaps he was telling the truth and it was only his body that kept rejecting it. ¡°Let¡¯s get started. I want to spend some serious energy today.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that isn¡¯t what I had planned for us today. We¡¯re going to keep building upon your technical skill, like we did last time, instead of going back to the free-form sort of practice that we started with. Now that you¡¯re committed to fighting with a spear, there¡¯s no reason not to conduct your training properly. Starting at the basics and moving onwards from there. Fear not, you¡¯ll have plenty of chances to let out some energy in the last third of the session. I¡¯ll be testing you on everything that we¡¯ve practiced today in real time.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ so what are we starting with? Oh right, stupid question.¡± Lin nodded his head in affirmation and waited with the answer until he finished guiding Sam through their usual routine of warm-up exercises and body-scan meditation.

    ¡°We¡¯ll begin with the most basic of action, the stab,¡± Lin said.

    ¡°There¡¯s more to learn than stick them with the pointy end? I thought the whole point of the spear was its accessibility.¡±

    ¡°Very well then,¡± Lin threw him one of the spears he was holding. The light one thankfully, otherwise Sam doubted he¡¯d have caught it with the same ease (or caught it at all). ¡°Stab me if you will.¡± Sam shrugged his shoulders and went down to his approximation of the spearfighting form that Lin kept trying to teach him. He thrust the spear with both hands and it struck Lin straight in the abdomen, although you wouldn¡¯t know it by looking at the man. ¡°First question: did you hit the place you were aiming at?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sam said, ¡°roughly I guess. Aim for the center mass, right?¡±

    ¡°Which you had no reason to aim for since I was immobile and defenseless. If you can surely hit me, then why not try for a more critical location, like the neck or my dominant hand?¡±

    ¡°Because I wasn¡¯t sure about hitting it? Is that what you want me to say? That I should practice my aim before moving on to more complex techniques?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s part of it, but aiming and hitting your marks is part of thrusting, which we¡¯ll get to later. We¡¯re still talking about stabbing.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°Guess.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ One¡¯s the action and the other¡¯s the result?¡±

    ¡°Very nice. Have a gold star.¡±

    ¡°They still give those?¡±

    ¡°To everyone who wasn¡¯t me or my brother in the under-ten class that my family taught, yes.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound mentally healthy.¡±

    ¡°It made us better fighters. Because we knew, that unlike everyone else, we could always do better, the expectations for us much higher.¡±

    ¡°Does that mean that I¡¯m not actually getting a gold star?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll get you a sticker if you manage to beat me by the time you graduate. Back to our lesson. You were half-right: Stabbing is always the end result of thrusting with the spear, but it is also an action in its own right. And while your thrust may have been passable, so long as you truly hit where you were aiming for, your stabbing was anything but. You aimed for one of the better defended parts of my body. If we were using magic and real weapons, you¡¯d find it much harder to penetrate deep into my abdomen than say my hand or thigh, for example.

    ¡°So that¡¯s your first mistake: not committing enough power into the stab to drive the spear far enough to cause damage. Your second mistake was pulling the spear back in a straight line. You¡¯ve already passed my defenses. Unless you were being pressed to defend yourself and needed your weapon back as fast as possible, you should have cut out in an arc instead of just pulling it out like you did. Doing some extra damage at no cost to yourself. And of course, both of those mistakes were compounded by your third mistake. You stabbed me in the middle of my body simply because it was the easiest place to hit, not because you were being guided by strategy.

    ¡°If we were in a real fight, then your best bet would be to eliminate me as fast as possible, as I am much stronger than you. So, aim for my neck. Your enemy is rarely going to die from a wound such as the one you would have inflicted upon me, even if you had made no other mistakes. Your reason for aiming for my abdomen shouldn¡¯t have been because of ease but because all other potential targets were either impossible or too dangerous; leaving you wide open in case of a counterattack.¡±

    ¡°So what?¡± Sam asked. ¡°I should never aim for people¡¯s lower chest then? Only their vital organs and limbs?¡±

    ¡°If your enemy makes a genuine mistake and leaves themselves open, then by all means, stab him where ever you can. As long as you¡¯re sure that you won¡¯t be giving up any future¡ªmore critical attacks¡ªby committing to that one. It¡¯s all a matter of intent. Your aim in a fight should be to finish it as efficiently as possible. Usually, that means finding a balance between time and energy spent. If it¡¯s a duel, take your time. If you¡¯re in the middle of the battlefield, you might want to rush your enemy in order to help one of your comrades or avoid being ganged up on.

    ¡°This is what I want to teach you about stabbing. First, how to stab. Which depends upon the second, where to stab. And they both depend on the third, why to stab. We¡¯ll start with theory, then practice each on their own and finally execution of all together. At the end of the lesson, we¡¯ll go back to ¡®sparring,¡¯ and I¡¯m expecting you to showcase at least some of what we learned today.¡± He stopped, apparently caught in the trappings of an altogether different thought. ¡°You are getting all this, yes? I¡¯m being clear enough?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Sam laughed. ¡°You¡¯re worried about your future appointments with Farris?¡±

    ¡°Mostly that, yes. Although Dan Ritter has been in quite close contact with me as of late, making sure that our sessions were proceeding well, whatever that might mean.¡±

    ¡°I think it means he¡¯s concerned whether you¡¯re a good teacher for me or not. Am I becoming better, and so on.¡±

    Lin scoffed. ¡°It¡¯s only been a week. Your aptitude for combat and the spear could have been ten times higher than it is, and I, ten times a better teacher, and we still wouldn¡¯t get much different results considering you¡¯ve never trained before a day in your life.¡±

    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

    ¡°Nuh huh, fencing, remember?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ I honestly forgot. If it makes you feel better, it¡¯s not at all apparent in the way you¡¯re fighting.¡±

    ¡°How would that make me feel better?¡±

    ¡°No mistaken preconceptions that we would have to waste time on correcting.¡±

    ¡°Well hurray for twelve years-old me lacking sense of commitment. Thanks to him, I¡¯m a complete blank slate.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not such a bad thing despite the way you¡¯re putting it. Most cadets coming here have already been training for a couple of years, usually since their Awakening, but some, like me, even from when they were children. And even if you were being taught perfectly, you can still end up with some incorrect assumptions and mistakes in your form. There is a major difference between the body our cadets grew up with, hell, even the body some of them have now, to the body they are going to spend most of their life fighting with. You don¡¯t have that problem. You can rest assured that everything you¡¯re going to learn, as long as you apply it correctly, is going to carry you until the end of your journey.¡±

    ¡°That does sound nice. I hate having to relearn stuff. So you were saying about cutting?¡±

    ¡°Stabbing.¡± Lin¡¯s rebuke was grave. ¡°Cutting is a completely different topic. It¡¯ll be a long time before we get to it.¡±

    ¡°I know, I know. I was just yanking your chain. So, you asked whether I understood what and how we are going to learn about stabbing. From my perspective, I¡¯m saying yes. But like you said, I have no prior experience with this stuff. Might be, I¡¯m just putting too much trust in myself. Although saying that about that really simple explanation that you just gave is stretching my incompetence really far, even for me.¡±

    Lin nodded and straightened his back. ¡°Then I¡¯ll have to see for myself how far your understanding extends. Now, stand where you are. We¡¯ll begin with a demonstration.¡± The following ¡°demonstrations¡± were just a pretty word for Sam standing still and letting Lin stab him repeatedly all over his body. At each point, Lin tried to press Sam on how deep the stab should be, how he should be moving out of it and the reasons for initiating it in the first place. Pretty much, just as he said they were going to do, only Sam didn¡¯t expect his own body to be used for the explanation.

    It¡¯s not like he was in serious pain, though. Lin¡¯s attacks were delivered from point blank range and so held no force behind them besides the discomfort of having one¡¯s body squished inwards. Now, whether that was the objective truth of his sensations or whether it was a lie made up some half an hour later in order to comfort himself when they moved to the second stage of practice and despite being the one stabbed, Lin showed no hint of feeling anything, would remain forever unknown.

    But that didn¡¯t matter now, because they were coming up on the last third of the session and Lin declared that they should move on to mock-sparring. The two of them would circle around each other. Lin would indicate where Sam should hit him and then evaluate Sam¡¯s inflicted wounds. At one point, he stopped telling Sam where to strike and just told him what were his current intentions for striking in the scenario. Trying to get Sam to start developing his own combat intuitions (Sam was pretty sure that he kept fumbling that last part).

    ¡°You did well,¡± Lin said once they were finished the second body-scan of the session. ¡°Nicely done.¡±

    Sam clicked his tongue. ¡°If you say so. So how long are we going to stay on stabbing? Or just framework in general?¡±

    ¡°As long as we need to. Probably for the entirety of our time together. Three years is too short a time to truly instill all the habits that you should be fighting with just by pure practice. But, If I were to hazard a guess, after one or two more sessions and I¡¯d want us to start incorporating thrusting theory as well. Once that¡¯s done, we¡¯ll go back to footwork and alternate between the two for a about a month before starting to incorporate more complex aspect into your studies. Two or three months after that, for most of our sessions to become just practice fighting. In a year, I¡¯d like it if we had the chance to go over every form, technique, and piece of knowledge that I¡¯m aware of and am capable of teaching. That would just leave learning to utilize them and going back over them every once in a while. Of course, by that point, you should also be training by yourself and with other people, which is really when the training begins. After all, even if I were the best spear-fighter and teacher in the Web, that doesn¡¯t mean that I would be the best to teach you. Which also means that eventually, when you are confident enough in your skills, you should stop taking everything I¡¯m saying as gospel and start figuring out what¡¯s best for yourself on your own. Don¡¯t worry about that for now, though, we¡¯ll get to that eventually.¡±

    ¡°Alright, sounds good to me. And when do you reckon we can start learning how to fight with magic?¡±

    Lin laughed dryly. ¡°Eager are you?¡±

    ¡°It should be pretty evident to you, based on knowledge of my past, that were magic not a part of the picture, I wouldn¡¯t be here.¡±

    ¡°Indeed¡­ Same goes for most Terrans, I assume. As for when we¡¯ll start you on actual combat practice¡­ We¡¯ll see. There¡¯s a lot of theory that goes with that, way more than with simply physical fighting, and it all builds on every other aspect of your studies. Tracing, patterns, gathering, our training together, and so on. And while I¡¯ll be the one teaching you how to wield the spear together with magic, I¡¯m not going to be your sole teacher for magical combat. But, to actually answer your question: Not until your level 1 and I deem you skilled enough with a spear. So at least half a year away. And I¡¯m being optimistic about both of our aptitudes.¡±

    Sam shook his head and squinted in disagreement. ¡°We both know that you are more than a capable teacher. I have Dan¡¯s admission of that fact. That leaves my future solely in my hands, thank you very much.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that General Ninae isn¡¯t going to see things that way, even if I were willing to do so. He said something along the lines of were he to teach you, then you would surely become just as skilled a fighter as he is. That leaves no doubt to which was of us he sees as a variable for your future success.¡±

    Sam raised his hand up in defeat. ¡°Alright, just remember that, if turns out that it¡¯s not just my lack of training that makes me a bad fighter.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see about that¡­ Same time on Thursday, yes?¡± Sam nodded, and they bid each other farewell.

    After showering, he left the gym towards the mess hall in a much better mood than he was when he entered the building. He was already pretty certain of the matter before today, but after his session with Lin, there was no doubt in his mind to prevent him from reaching the conclusion. It seemed that part of Web-Web¡¯s remodeling of his body was making the exchange between working out and getting endorphins in return much more consistent.

    Of course, his improved mood might¡¯ve also had something to do with the fact that he felt like he learned, truly learned something today. As opposed to yesterday, and even the day before that, when he was just practicing the same thing that he was a week ago.

    Although that isn¡¯t actually very fair now, is it? Cause I¡¯m pretty sure that Dan¡¯s volume of comments yesterday while we were together was larger than usual. So maybe it¡¯s my ease of internalizing them that¡¯s causing me to worry? Oh, it¡¯s probably the lack of worry about internalizing them that¡¯s causing me anxiety. Yeah, that¡¯s it. He nodded to himself in satisfaction.

    Once he made it to the mess hall, the lack of a text message from Sarah pretty much confirmed that he actually got there before them for once. His head start wasn¡¯t that big, however, because just one minute after sitting down and texting them where he found a spot, he was joined by Yvessa. ¡°Tough morning?¡± he asked once he saw her downcast mood.

    ¡°I got too distracted with cultivating and my own thoughts that I wasn¡¯t focusing on the weights and ended up fucking up the motion and pulling a muscle. Had to go get checked out at the hospital.¡±

    ¡°But you¡¯re alright now?¡±

    ¡°Of course I am. It was just a minor tear, nothing that couldn¡¯t be fixed by fifteen minutes of a professorial¡¯s tracing. You¡¯re not going to miss me at our evening run, if that¡¯s what you were worried about.¡±

    Sam was prevented from assuring her that he wasn¡¯t the least bit worried about her wellbeing or her lack of presence in their get-togethers by Felix and Sarah¡¯s arrival. ¡°And here¡¯s our wounded warrior!¡± Felix called in mock concern. ¡°And how are you doing, my dear? The doctor stitched you up fine?¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Sam said, ¡°you didn¡¯t go along with her?¡±

    ¡°What for? It was just a cramp.¡±

    ¡°OK, first of all, you¡¯re all saying different things, but I¡¯mma let that slide. Second of all, she went to the hospital, the hospital. You don¡¯t leave your friends to go to the hospital alone.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s not like she went to get hospitalized or anything. We¡¯ve all been at the hospital at one point or another during our time here. Well, I haven¡¯t, but that¡¯s just because I¡¯m that good.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°While it might be a hospital, Sam, most of us are just treating it as a regular infirmary and doctor¡¯s clinic. It¡¯s just that it¡¯s also treating people with more serious conditions. But none of of them are students right now, thankfully. It¡¯s really not a big deal.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Besides, if she was fine enough to take a shower after she was injured, then she was fine enough to go get checked up alone. I wouldn¡¯t need any company if I was in her place, which again I have never been and never will be.¡±

    ¡°You sure about that?¡± Yvessa asked with a threatening smile. ¡°How about we test your assertion with, say, two kicks to the back of each knee?¡±

    ¡°Yvessa, please! Ever since your injury, you haven¡¯t been acting like yourself. Snap out of it!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll snap your neck if that¡¯s what you¡¯re asking of me.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re alright?¡± Sarah verbally stepped between them. ¡°You¡¯ll be up for cardio tonight?¡±

    ¡°One-hundred percent. But if you¡¯re still worried about me, there is something you can do to make me feel a little bit better. Increase Sam¡¯s laps.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sam objected. ¡°What¡¯d I do to you? I was simply showing concern. How was I to know mister never broke a bone over there would be such an asshole about it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s exactly that. You showed concern to me and I¡¯m showing you the same in return. After all, it¡¯s already been a week since you started exercising. We should be increasing your workout¡¯s difficulty.¡±

    ¡°Really? You think so?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sarah said. ¡°You¡¯re doing just fine right now. It¡¯s not yet time to change your routines. Especially since you also have three combat training sessions every week. We won¡¯t get anything out of upping the intensity just yet.¡±

    ¡°Phew¡­ that¡¯s comforting. Although, and I¡¯m reluctant to mention it, but I will for the sake of transparency, my session with Lin today wasn¡¯t all that physically demanding. It was mostly just ¡®theory¡¯ and examples. Although getting stabbed over and over again might have helped me build my pain tolerance a bit.¡±

    ¡°Did it?¡±

    ¡°Nah.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°He¡¯s putting you through the all basics of the basics thing? Breaking up the action of fighting into smaller actions and so on until you¡¯re left with only the fundamental bullshit and then focusing on that?¡±

    ¡°Not in so many words.¡±

    ¡°So he taught you about ¡®stabbing¡¯ today, then?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°And did he also make a distinction between stabbing and thrusting? And went on a whole spiel about when and where and all the rest Ws of stabbing?¡±

    ¡°He did the same for you? I figured that you¡¯ll have already been past this stage.¡±

    ¡°Not with me, no, but with the class of those that didn¡¯t have much, if any, previous combat training. But I got the whole series of lectures as well, a couple of years ago. Didn¡¯t think much of it then and even less of it now.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because you fight without thinking.¡± Yvessa pointed her fork at Felix.

    ¡°If what you mean is that I fight without over thinking and by doing what comes naturally, then, yeah, you¡¯re right. C¡¯mon, don¡¯t tell me that you seriously buy all that combat theory crap.¡±

    ¡°Not as much as Lin does, of course. I¡¯m somewhere in the middle, same as you are probably, if you¡¯ll ever willingly admit it to yourself. It¡¯s just that you prefer to learn everything by practice, internalizing the theory by seeing for yourself what works and what doesn¡¯t. But if you¡¯re coming at this with no prior knowledge like Sam is, then I think there is no better way to have him learning by teaching him step by step.¡±

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°Some prior knowledge, guys, remember?¡± They all started back at him dumbly. ¡°The fencing class, three to four years? Only stopped because of my ingrown nails? This doesn¡¯t ring any bells?¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t told us any of this, mate,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡± Sarah furrowed her eyebrows at him. ¡°So you¡¯re not willing to tell me what you studied in university, but apparently you¡¯re totally fine telling the entire would about how your fencing career was cut short by your ingrown nails.¡±

    ¡°I understand where you¡¯re coming from, Sarah. I totally do.¡± Sam nodded gravely. ¡°You¡¯re telling me that you want to know how I got my ingrown nails problem, right?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. Save that story for another time. I¡¯m already beginning to run out of unclassified material to tell you guys. By the way, I feel like I have to say this: My fencing career wasn¡¯t going anywhere at that point. My finger injury, back when, was a much greater hindrance, not to mention my lack of will to dedicate myself to the sport. Really, the ingrown nails were just the straw that broke the camel¡¯s back that was my childhood fantasy of fighting with a sword.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your finger injury all about?¡± Felix asked, emphasizing his interest by cupping his chin with both hands.

    ¡°Oh I didn¡¯t tell you guys about that? Mhm hm¡­ That¡¯s a pretty classic Sam growing of age story is what that is. The story, some would say. It has its beginnings before I was born and its effects are living on even to this very day.¡±

    ¡°You know what?¡± Sarah directed the question to Yvessa. ¡°I think that I will up Sam¡¯s laps somewhat today. He¡¯s a strong guy, he can take it. And it¡¯ll only help him in the long run.¡±

    ¡°Noo!¡± Sam wailed. ¡°I¡¯m not a strong guy. That¡¯s just one of the points the finger story makes.¡±

 Chapter 66

    It was time for lunch on Saturday and Sam settled down on the empty bench across the table from Felix and Yvessa with a weary sigh. It was a beautiful day (don¡¯t think about the fucking skies) and so the group was ordered by Sarah to present themselves in the small seating area outside of their usual mess hall in order to eat together. Some bullshit about building camaraderie and appreciating nature is what she said. Of course, she wasn¡¯t anywhere in sight and wasn¡¯t going to be. Half an hour ago she texted them that something came up and to eat without her.

    ¡°Why is that every time I see you sitting down you sound like a guy who¡¯s just returned from the trenches,¡± Felix asked him.

    ¡°It just goes to show how hard every day is for me compared to normal people,¡± Sam said. ¡°What¡¯s your normal, is my hell that is war, and what¡¯s your war is my Lovecraftian horror.¡±

    ¡°Bit dramatic, don¡¯t you think?¡± Yvessa remarked.

    ¡°Yep... It certainly is. But pretty much all of my complaining about stuff is going to sound hollow while I still got this magical high twenty-four-seven.¡±

    ¡°Oh, here he goes again about magic being a drug, rubbing it in all of our poor, addict faces,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Sam brightened up. ¡°I guess I have been doing that. That kind of thing doesn¡¯t often happen to me, you know? Making other people feel bad for having something that they don¡¯t; especially if it¡¯s something biochemical.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you grow up middle class in a first-world country? Wouldn¡¯t most people in the world living then have less than you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, absolutely. But it¡¯s not like I had a chance to dunk on them for it. I grew up in a proper middle class to upper middle class area. Most kids who I grew up with were from richer families than me. Well, not necessarily richer, but just that their parents were willing to spend more money than mine were. Did I tell you guys about the fact that I never had a console growing up?¡±

    ¡°No! Really? How could you live like that?¡±

    ¡°By being given a fairly powerful PC when I was thirteen, that most likely cost a couple times what a console did.¡±

    ¡°You really had it hard, huh?¡±

    ¡°I did,¡± Sam said in a pitiful voice and began tearing up.

    ¡°Yvessa, do me a favor, will you? Reach across and slap that snob for me. I don¡¯t want to get his haughtiness all over my hands.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s like asking a saber-tooth tiger to take a bite at a cheetah for being a feline.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure that you want to pick a fight with me as well, Sam?¡± Yvessa raised her brow.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t aware that I was picking a fight with anyone. I thought that I was just being my usual annoying and egotistical self.¡±

    Yvessa and Felix look at each other. ¡°That¡¯s fair,¡± Felix admitted. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s the lack of Sarah¡¯s usual threat of violence that makes it harder to stand you currently. Just make sure to watch yourself, will you? We don¡¯t want anyone of us to come to blows with you and have to suffer Khanly punishment.¡±

    ¡°Last time that it was just the three of us together, it wasn¡¯t Sam that was a major risk for being the reason why a fight might break out,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°That¡¯s also a fair point. Also also, is anyone else weirded out by the thought that we¡¯ve known each other for such a short period of time that we can actually remember and remark about stuff like that?¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± Sam said. ¡°Personally, my mind is always at overwork, making statistics about my social interactions. Even with people that I¡¯ve been friends for a long time with. How long since we last met? How long was that meeting? How funny was I during it? How long do I need to wait before initiating another meeting so that the feelings of revulsion would mostly pass?¡±

    ¡°Huh¡­ good to know. So you¡¯re saying there¡¯s a chance that I could get you to not spend time with me? Is it solely based upon your own assessment, or is there something I can do to make it happen?¡±

    ¡°I really should be recording this conversation for the next time you¡¯ll annoy me,¡± Yvessa told Felix.

    ¡°You can¡¯t do that! You¡¯ll be incriminating yourself as well. Sarah would say that your silence was akin to agreeing with what I¡¯m saying. That would make you my accomplice. Although, speaking from a utilitarian¡¯s viewpoint: if you derive more pleasure from my pain than suffering from your own pain, then you should do that. Right Sam?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t speak to me.¡±

    ¡°I thought that we were supposed to be your conversation buddies for intellectually stimulating conversations. I¡¯m just trying to be helpful.¡±

    ¡°Even were I up for that sort of conversation right now, starting it with utilitarianism as the topic is not the right way into my heart.¡±

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you up for it? Don¡¯t want Sarah to miss anything?¡±

    ¡°Hardly. I am more than fine with regurgitating everything I discuss with people to other people. Saves time having to come up with things to talk about¡­ And where is Sarah anyway? Am I the only one that finds it weird that she just canceled on us with only half an hour to go? What could possibly have come up at this time of the day on Saturday?¡±

    ¡°Her time of the month, maybe. Ow! Really Yvessa?! I was making a callback to that stupid joke Sam made.¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t just a joke. Also a plea for knowledge.¡±

    ¡°Yeah well, you both should have known better,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°How could I have possibly known better without asking? That¡¯s like the most basic way of acquiring knowledge.¡±

    ¡°Do you even remember what it was exactly that you asked?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Was it that bad?¡± He looked at Felix, who nodded back. ¡°Oh. Well, I won¡¯t try to excuse myself to you then. That¡¯s for me and myself when I start writing in my journal again. If I ever do.¡±

    ¡°The disgusting pervert did bring up a good point, though,¡± Felix said. ¡°It¡¯s really weird for Sarah to just cancel on us like that. Especially now that her precious Sam entered into the picture.¡±

    ¡°Hey! I don¡¯t like it when other people make a joke about her being my mom. Both due to matters of taste and copyright infringement.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have any taste. That¡¯s why Sarah abandoned you.¡±

    Sam and Felix burst out laughing while Yvessa rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. ¡°Maybe you two are closer to the truth that you think,¡± she said. ¡°Maybe Sarah simply had to take a break from your antics.¡±

    ¡°Antics? I¡¯m sorry, but while I can¡¯t speak for Sam, I am a sophisticated adult. I don¡¯t make antics anymore. Besides, how do you know that you aren¡¯t part of the equation as well? Because if not, then that means that Sarah basically threw you to the wolves without a hint of remorse.¡±

    ¡°How do you know that she didn¡¯t send me a message telling me that she couldn¡¯t make it and to make myself scarce as well?¡±

    ¡°Because that would mean you having to admit that you don¡¯t have a problem spending time with us. In other words, that you can stand us just fine.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you guys weren¡¯t together this morning?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°We¡¯re not always together,¡± Yvessa scoffed. ¡°Saturday is the only day that I can go without having to see this guy without having skip out on some important lectures.¡±

    ¡°Then how come you¡¯re here with me now?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°I just wanted to spend time with Sam, even if Sarah was out of the picture.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah.¡± Sam shook his head dismissively. ¡°Like that makes any sense. I¡¯ll tell you what does make sense, in a weird Sarah sort of way. Her canceling on us after being the one to arrange this lunch in order for the three of us to spend time together. And by three of us, I mean the two of you and me. Cause you guys are sort of a package deal.¡±

    ¡°Hey that¡¯s great!¡± Felix gave him a thumbs up. ¡°You managed to pivot us all the way back around to being angry at you for stuff that you said.¡±

    ¡°I, for one, never stopped being angry,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Still¡­ Sarah wouldn¡¯t do something so manipulative like that, right?¡±

    ¡°Are you joking? That¡¯s exactly the only sort of manipulation that Sarah could do.¡±

    ¡°Come off it. She probably just realized that she was behind on one of her courses or something. Or maybe she was studying something and felt like on a roll, so she wanted to keep going.¡±

    ¡°Or¡­ she¡¯s dying. And she wants as to grow closer to Sam before she passes on so we¡¯ll take care of him.¡±

    ¡°Why not just call and ask her then?¡±

    ¡°Are you kidding and tell her what? ¡®Hey Sarah, the three of us were making jokes on why you couldn¡¯t make it. Can you confirm to us whether you¡¯re dying and trying to manipulate us to adopt Sam?¡¯¡± Just as Felix finished speaking, the Sam in question took his phone and began tapping his way into the contact list. ¡°Hey! No! I was joking! Stop that!¡±

    Sam smiled and put his phone back in his pocket. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t call her anyway. If she really has something important going on, I¡¯m not going to interrupt her. After all, I can always ask her that next time we meet. The joke would be almost as funny then as it is now.¡±

    ¡°Why does it always come back to jokes with you? Is that like your meaning in life? Make comedy or something?¡±

    ¡°Oh! Now that¡¯s an interesting question to ponder upon, in the broader than just Sam sense. The philosophy of humor. I thought a lot about it, you know? Never read a thing, though.¡±

    ¡°Suddenly you¡¯re back in form capable of hold a stimulating conversation then?¡±

    ¡°What can I say, talking with you as reinvigorated me.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah.¡± Felix shook his head, mimicking Sam¡¯s face and voice. ¡°Like that makes any sense.¡±

    Yvessa laughed. ¡°What did you want to complain about anyway Sam? Was it your morning lesson or just life in general?¡±

    ¡°What makes you say I wanted to complain about anything?¡±

    ¡°What other reason would someone have to sit down next to people with a loud, exaggerated sigh?¡±

    ¡°Huh¡­ I don¡¯t know. Maybe because they¡¯re old as fuck? And let me tell you, I had the mannerisms of an old man even before I became one, two weeks ago.¡±

    ¡°So you don¡¯t have anything you want to complain about?¡± Felix asked while looking down at his food.

    ¡°Oh I have plenty to complain about. And even plenty more that I want to complain about. Trust you me.¡±

    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

    ¡°Well let¡¯s have at it then. Sarah isn¡¯t paying us to just spend time with you, after all.¡±

    ¡°Ha! That¡¯d be something. Even for her. Paying for friends.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s so weird about that? Buy me that PC I asked of you and I promise to be your friend.¡±

    ¡°Sure, yeah, I don¡¯t care. I already told you, the money isn¡¯t mine and I don¡¯t have anything that I want, so I don¡¯t care about wasting it buying you stuff.¡±

    Felix wagged his finger. ¡°It¡¯s not a waste so much as it is an investment. From you into me being your friend. And from the Terran taxpayer into me becoming a Chosen.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ So that all it takes for someone to become a Chosen,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Buying them a computer. And does it apply to anyone or just you? Because if it¡¯s the former, then we¡¯re really wasting time and resources with all these academies.¡±

    ¡°The academies are still there. They¡¯re still important and have their role to play. Just like me being able to play does. But, heh, never mind my wordplay. We were talking about Sam! And his very serious troubles and complaints before you got us sidetracked talking about me definitely becoming Chosen in the future¡ª¡±

    ¡°You did that, but go on.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m not going to do! It¡¯s Sam that should go on! So come on Sam, tell us about your woes and ills. And we¡¯ll do whatever it is in our power to make them go away.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­¡± Sam released a heavy breath. ¡°So there¡¯s these three friends that I met recently. And the two girls? I really like them. They¡¯re nice and funny. In other words, they¡¯re very gay. But it¡¯s the guy¡­ he¡¯s just so dreary and heavy, and snarky. Not gay at all. I just can¡¯t stand the guy. But I don¡¯t want to ruin my relationship with the other two because they were friends with him before they met me.¡± He sighed. ¡°What can I do Dr. Felix?¡±

    ¡°You help him.¡± The doctor huffed to Yvessa and turned his back on the two of them. A second later, and the sound of sobbing could be heard from the part of his face now turned away from them. ¡°I, I just wanted him to like me! Why doesn¡¯t he like me?! Ooooh¡­ Waaaah¡­ It¡¯s not fair.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Anyway, that guy¡¯s name is Chafi Pines.¡±

    ¡°Who the hell is Chafi Pines?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°What do you mean? He¡¯s that guy that ambushed me at the gym and we had breakfast a day after. You know, the third year.¡±

    ¡°You mean Carl Pines. I have no idea who Chafi Pines.¡±

    ¡°I think he means Afi,¡± said Felix, not showing any signs of his recent outburst. ¡°Which is not a guy that you actually met. He¡¯s the asshole that tried to give Yvessa a hard time in combat classes that we told you about back when we first met.¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes. ¡°Hm¡­ you could be right. I did meet and hear about a lot of different people at too short a time for me to remember all of their names. Especially when the value of remembering said people¡¯s names isn¡¯t that great. I do remember Erianna¡¯s name, though, Yvessa. We keep bringing her up for some reason, so there¡¯s no way for me to be able to forget her.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the one that brought her up for no reason right now,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re pointing a finger at me. And that¡¯s besides the point, she¡¯s my best friend. Of course her name will pop up in my mind sometime or another.¡±

    ¡°So what? You don¡¯t see me bringing up my best friend¡¯s name every second conversation, do you?¡±

    ¡°I guess not. One question, though, is it very likely that your best friend is going to be our commander in the future?¡±

    ¡°Also, Sam, just to be fair,¡± Felix said. ¡°You haven¡¯t brought up anyone¡¯s name from your own personal past, friend or not. Besides, do you even have a best friend?¡±

    Sam gasped. ¡°Do I have a best friend? What kind of question is that? I¡¯m looking straight at him.¡±

    Felix looked down at himself and clicked his tongue. ¡°You¡¯re just saying that because I¡¯m a guy and you can¡¯t envision being best friends with a woman.¡±

    ¡°True.¡±

    ¡°Sarah is really a much better candidate for you current best friend than me or Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°Also true. But she¡¯s a girl, and boys and girls can¡¯t be friends with one another. Unless one of them is gay.¡±

    ¡°Well what about Yvessa¡¯s other best friend that you haven¡¯t heard about because she doesn¡¯t bring him up nearly as much? He¡¯s a guy. What was his name, Martin?¡±

    Yvessa wrinkled her nose. ¡°It¡¯s Marin and you know it. And for your information, the reason that I don¡¯t bring up as much is because he¡¯s a normal guy like you and me¡ª¡±

    ¡°Not normal then, but go on.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ he¡¯s not really my best friend the same way Erianna is. Don¡¯t get me wrong, we¡¯re great friends, but just not¡ªFuck, why am I trying to convince you guys of anything? I¡¯ll bring up whomever I want to bring up. Also, because you¡¯ve annoyed me, he¡¯s bi, so Sam was technically right in his stupid comment.¡±

    ¡°Technically not wrong, you mean,¡± Sam corrected her.

    ¡°Sure, whatever.¡±

    ¡°I just think you need to give the poor guy some more publicity,¡± Felix said. ¡°What¡¯s gonna happen when we finally meet your two legendary friends and after shaking hands and telling Erianna how much we heard about her, we¡¯re gonna come up to poor Mario and tell him¡­ what? Sam, give an example of something rude and embarrassing you could see yourself telling him when you first meet.¡±

    ¡°Huh? Why me?¡±

    ¡°To drive my point home.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ I don¡¯t know, how about: ¡®Yvessa didn¡¯t tell us a whole lot about you, but what she did say is that you aren¡¯t her number one bestie.¡¯ Really, you¡¯re not giving me much to work here. Other than that and Felix making fun of his name, unprovoked and inelegantly, might I add, I don¡¯t know anything about the guy. So this makes the whole tangent annoying because we only got on to it because I¡¯m having troubling remembering the names of every schmuck I meet.¡±

    ¡°You also know that Marin is just as talented as me and Felix,¡± Yvessa rebuked him. ¡°So you can be sure of meeting him in the future. And since the both of you are my friends, it would be polite of you to be nice to him and not refer to him as a schmuck.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s right Felix. That wasn¡¯t very nice.¡±

    ¡°Just to remind you two,¡± Felix said. ¡°I was the one trying to help poor Marvin. Get him some of the airtime that his female counterpart enjoys. Face it, we¡¯re two weeks in into our acquaintance with Sam and up to now he didn¡¯t know that you had any guy friends besides him and me.¡±

    ¡°Maybe if you keep annoying me, Sam¡¯s knowledge concerning the number of ¡®guy friends¡¯ that I have would have proven correct after all.¡±

    ¡°It won¡¯t, because Sam is just one break in the conversation away from jumping in and saying I was wrong because he didn¡¯t know you considered him your friend or something along those lines.¡± Sam nodded solemnly.

    ¡°Really Sam? Even after two weeks? That¡¯s more sad than funny at this point.¡±

    ¡°No it¡¯s not,¡± Sam objected. ¡°If it was funny with people that I¡¯ve been friends with for years at the time, then it¡¯s funny with you two, who I¡¯ve only known for two weeks.¡±

    ¡°Was it funny with people you¡¯ve been friends with for years, though?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. I¡¯ll get back to you once I¡¯ve been friends with someone for more than a year.¡± Felix nodded and just to further drive his criticism about Sam¡¯s predictable sense of humor home, he mouthed Sam¡¯s last words as he was saying them (although he replaced ¡°year¡± with ¡°three weeks,¡± the amateur). ¡°And how abut you Felix? Ever been friends with someone for more than a year? How come you don¡¯t name drop any of them at all, after all the shit you¡¯ve just given Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°Cause all of my friends are normal schmucks, to use your words. I didn¡¯t make close friends with anyone that I was training with, and none of my regular friends had any plans to join the military, the place where I was going to spend the most my life in. Not a very good recipe for a long-lasting friendship that, when you know that you¡¯re going to spend the rest of our lives in completely different worlds.¡±

    ¡°Literally¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s a given Sam. No one really points that shit out. Also, if we¡¯re being completely honest? I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll categorize any of my old friendships as close as that the four, yes, four, of us have. Let alone Yvessa and her own two best friends. We¡¯re literally training in order to be able to save each other¡¯s lives, that calls from a much stronger sort of bond than most friendships are made of.¡±

    ¡°Wow. You totally just shit on most people¡¯s relationship. Example: just because Shawn and Gus were never part of a military unit doesn¡¯t mean that their bond wasn¡¯t as strong as tungsten.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know who those two are.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon son¡­ But I get your point. You and your friends¡¯ differing career paths have created a sense of alienation inside of you that prevented you from being as vulnerable and trusting with them as you are with us. Yvessa didn¡¯t have that problem. And I never had any friends before, so we obviously can¡¯t relate to the differing levels of friendship.¡±

    ¡°Yep, that¡¯s exactly it. So this is why I don¡¯t bring up any of my friends up. I¡¯m probably not going to meet with them too much in the future, and you guys definitely aren¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, his lying to you,¡± Yvessa said, as if it was a matter of fact. ¡°Our birthday was two months ago, and he invited me and Sarah, who couldn¡¯t go unfortunately, to the party celebration at his home.¡±

    ¡°You went on your own birthday to a birthday celebration of somebody else?¡± Sam asked, pitying tone more than strengthened by painful past experiences.

    ¡°No, it was on the weekend of the week after our birthday. Don¡¯t worry. My point is: He had plenty of friends there at the party, and he didn¡¯t act any different with them than he does with us.¡±

    ¡°But it felt different! I assure you I¡¯m not lying.¡± Felix burst out laughing. ¡°I¡¯m really not. It does feel different hanging out with those guys than with you. I¡¯m being serious.¡±

    ¡°You laughing doesn¡¯t help your case.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t help it!¡± He straightened his back and got his face under control. ¡°It was just an instinctive reaction to the way you said it. Honest! I meant what I said. You believe me, right Sam?¡±

    ¡°I do. And not only because I don¡¯t want to have to attend your birthday party, hang out with some strangers and have a bunch of names that I need to remember.¡±

    ¡°Well, this year was probably a onetime thing. Next year, it¡¯ll probably be just my family coming to visit me here. You¡¯ll come to that, right?¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± Sam shrugged. He then leaned over the table to Yvessa and whispered, ¡°I told him yes, but we probably won¡¯t still be friends this time next year.¡±

    ¡°No, but what about in only ten months¡¯ time?¡± Felix whispered, creating a triangle.

    Yvessa pushed both of them away. ¡°Will you get out of my face please? Ugh¡­ how did we get to talk about Felix¡¯s birthday party, of all things?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Sam¡¯s fault. I asked him what¡¯s got him so down today and instead of giving me a straight answer, he made a joke at my expense and we sort of rolled on from there.¡±

    ¡°Was that a double entendre just now?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°So what¡¯s got you down, Sam?¡± Yvessa turned to stare at him, joining Felix¡¯s offensive.

    ¡°Yeah Sam. Tell us. We just bared our hearts out to you, telling you all about our past friendships.¡±

    ¡°You guys are way bad at this when compared to Sarah.¡± Sam shook his head dismissively. ¡°You got to show some emotion. Something to get me to open up and tell you what I feel and why I feel like that. You¡¯ll never make it anywhere as a shoulder to cry on, going like that.¡±

    ¡°Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Is that what it is? Are you sad? Depressed? Suicidal?¡±

    ¡°Fucking hell, Felix.¡± Yvessa slapped Felix at the back of the head. ¡°That¡¯s taking the joke too far. What if he is feeling any of those things?¡±

    ¡°How? By his own admission, as long as he is under the effects of his mind acclimating to magic, then he isn¡¯t going to be able to feel any deep negative emotions. He said that shit multiple times. And he¡¯s still far off from getting used to magic.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°In theory, I agree with you¡­ But in this case, I¡¯m not going to. Because that doesn¡¯t seem like the smart thing to do. Like, I¡¯d think I¡¯d be OK with a friend making suicide jokes with me if I was suicidal, but I don¡¯t feel OK if it wasn¡¯t me and just some average guy, even if that guy was hopped up on drugs the way I am. Anyway, can we pivot the subject? I don¡¯t want my mental state to be the only thing we talk about.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the only thing we haven¡¯t talked about today,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Not true. There¡¯s plenty of stuff we haven¡¯t talked about today. Porn, to name just one.¡±

    ¡°Why does your mind always immediately go to porn?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Don¡¯t let him change the subject!¡± Yvessa said. ¡°He still hadn¡¯t told us why he got here all world-weary.¡±

    ¡°Oh right. Quickly, tell us about that so we could start talking about porn.¡±

    Sam rolled his eyes. ¡°You guys are way too worried. You¡¯re beginning to sound like Sarah. I¡¯m not sad or world-weary. I¡¯m just regular weary. Had a hard week and a hard day. Woke up early as fuck (although not earlier than usual, which is its own problem) in order to have my lesson with Lin. And while I was still reeling from that info-dump, I had to go wading through a whole other one in the form of independent studying. And if that wasn¡¯t enough, I got the go ahead from Dan yesterday about starting to cultivate on a schedule. I¡¯m just tired because I want a day off, but I know that I¡¯m not going to get one anytime soon.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be honest,¡± Felix said, trying to sound earnest. ¡°I stopped listening after you complained about your spear lessons cause all I had going through my head at the point was: ¡®I was right. I knew I was right. Dammit, I¡¯m right again.¡¯ What did you learn about today? The basics of cutting and how it differs from slashing?¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s for next month or so. After we¡¯ll finish with thrusting and basic footwork. But based on this week I can already guess what the difference is. But, I just want to say that I don¡¯t agree with you that you were right. I think I would have been just as tired if you were the one teaching me how to fight.¡±

    ¡°Oh, surely you would be more.¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You have yet to see Felix spar, but he is not a very helpful partner for post-combat analysis¡­ Honestly, don¡¯t worry about remembering everything Sam, it would soon enough start seeping into your subconscious and become an instinct.¡±

    ¡°It would start seeping much sooner if Lin just taught him how to fight naturally instead of sticking to that rigid system he and teachers like him love some much,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Look Felix, mate.¡± Sam held up his hands. ¡°I¡¯d love to agree with you. I really do. But at the end of the day I don¡¯t think it would matter to my weary mind one way or another. If there¡¯s one thing that I¡¯m not worried about is Lin being a poor teacher or even teaching me the wrong way. He¡¯s just as motivated for me to succeed that I am. That¡¯s because he was, sort of, personally chosen to teach me by the guy that you moaned about not getting to spar with.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ That¡¯s a good point. I didn¡¯t take Farris¡¯ input into account for Lin¡¯s method of teaching you. And the two of you did click in a weird sort of way, so I doubt that he made the wrong choice for the person who should be teaching you how to fight. I take back what I said. About you being better off learning differently, not about the way Lin¡¯s teaching you being stupid.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure that both my combat teacher and my mentor would very much appreciate your endorsement. Now, am I right in assuming that since Sarah hasn¡¯t planned anything further for us to do today that we¡¯ll all be splitting apart until dinner.¡±

    ¡°If she even shows up to that.¡±

    ¡°I doubt that she won¡¯t.¡± Yvessa chuckled. ¡°Think about it. That would mean going a whole day without seeing Sam even once. She¡¯s not ready for that sort of thing just yet.¡± Felix nodded in agreement with a laugh of his own.

    ¡°Thanks for that guys.¡± Sam sighed. ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to tell her you said that when we meet up later. See ya.¡± He bid them farewell and rejected Yvessa¡¯s offer to join them for open-class sparring (apparently they weren¡¯t splitting up just yet). He still hadn¡¯t got Lin¡¯s permission to attend any other form of combat training and he had his plenty of other obligations pulling him away. But, today was still Saturday, his day off, and part of that day was dedicated to unwinding, the better part of which will come after dinner. But just in case dinner (which was a social event) would carry on for too long, he allotted an hour after lunch (why he was punctual about ending the meal on time) to asocial leisure time. He still wasn¡¯t sure on what exactly to do with this hour, but he was hopeful the walk back to his dorm would provide him with an answer.

 Chapter 67

    It was only during the following day that Sam found out why Sarah couldn¡¯t make it to lunch. She confided in him, as they were walking to breakfast together, that the reason she had to cancel on them was because she had just gotten the results from one (apparently there were a couple) of the courses she was taking that had extra exams in addition to the final. She got a barely passing score, so she panicked and decided to stay in until dinner, reviewing the material. That was also the reason why she left dinner early (i.e. as soon as she was finished eating); she had the rest of her studies for the day to catch up on.

    ¡°It¡¯s lucky that today¡¯s Sunday,¡± she also told him. ¡°So that I could skip working out to study without Felix or Yvessa knowing about it.¡±

    ¡°And what¡¯s so horrible about them knowing about it?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Because they already think that I¡¯m taking too many electives and giving me enough shit about it as it is.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ they¡¯re right. Is that what it is? You don¡¯t want them to know that they¡¯re right?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re not right! I just had a lot on my plate lately and hadn¡¯t managed to spend as much time studying as I¡¯m used.¡±

    ¡°Because you¡¯ve also been juggling me, though. Is that why you¡¯re willing to tell me about yesterday and not them? Because you should already know that I agree with them. It is, isn¡¯t it? You¡¯re telling me this to make me feel bad?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous. I¡¯m telling you this because, unlike them, you¡¯re willing to admit that you don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about and so you might be wrong about me.¡±

    ¡°Tsk! Curse my weak-mindedness and lacking sense of self. But you do know that this current state of affairs will only last for so long, right? Because eventually I¡¯ll be sure that I know what I¡¯m talking about when it comes to the academy and then I¡¯ll flip completely to the other side. After all, as uncertain as I¡¯m willing to admit to being about stuff that I know nothing about, I¡¯m just as dogmatic about stuff that I think I¡¯m familiar enough with.¡±

    ¡°What makes you so sure that once you¡¯re more knowledgeable, you won¡¯t see that I¡¯m the one who is right? Not that it matters because by the time that happens, I¡¯ll be back in my usual form, so there will be nothing to confide in you, that I wouldn¡¯t be willing to with Felix and Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll hold you to that. I don¡¯t like keeping secrets. I have no experience in the matter cause no one in my life ever liked me enough to tell me something they weren¡¯t willing to tell other people.¡±

    ¡°You won¡¯t have to keep any other secrets, I promise you. I just told you about this one because I didn¡¯t want you to seriously consider Felix¡¯s stupid suggestion that I planned to skip out on you guys in order to manipulate you into spending time together. If I wanted to do that, I¡¯d have just used my go to method: threats of physical violence.¡± She smiled.

    ¡°You have other secrets? No wait, don¡¯t answer that. The answer is also a secret in it of itself. Unless you don¡¯t have any other secretes¡­ Damn. This is problematic. Now I know what they mean when they say that secrets complicate relationships.¡± Sarah patted him on the back reassuringly. But it was with an unassured manner that he sat down with her next to Felix and Yvessa. Although, to be fair, he was pretty sure that his unnerved manner was more due to his mind¡¯s unhealthy obsession with trying to be funny rather than actually being worried about keeping or spilling Sarah¡¯s secrets.

    ¡°So did you end up playing something?¡± Yvessa asked Sam.

    Yesterday, during dinner, he told them about his trouble with creating leisure plans for the future, after his dream for an after lunch optimized hour had gone up in flames and he spent the whole time watching ViewTube (the main problem was that he spent most of it on a binging stuff he was already familiar with). His friends were all true to the cliche roles he had already assigned to them in his brains: Sarah said TV; Felix said books; Yvessa said video games. But all of their concrete suggestions were modern stuff, which was a no go as far as Right Generation Sam was concerned. He did tell them that he leaned towards Yvessa¡¯s suggestion and was thinking of playing something that he was familiar with and would allow him to shut his mind and listen to music. But after downloading a bunch of games applicable to that description, he lost his will as soon as he launched the first one and just veggied the rest of the night away (minus time spent cultivating) back on watching videos (and if he was still having dreams, they would probably have been filled with the pasty skin and orange wig of America¡¯s favorite emotionally stunted inbred).

    ¡°No,¡± Sam admitted with a downcast look. ¡°As soon as I booted up the game I just thought to myself, ¡®Why bother? They probably managed to make one or even two sequels to it before the world ended. And if they had enough time to pump it with the same amount of dlcs like the one I¡¯m playing, then it might have reached the status of being better than its predecessor.¡¯ And that took the winds out of me wanting to play any of the games I was familiar with.¡±

    ¡°So why not play something modern?¡± Felix asked. ¡°There¡¯s plenty of great stuff that you could play while shutting your brain and listening to music.¡±

    ¡°Because if you¡¯d have listened to him yesterday,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°you¡¯d have heard that he wanted to play something that still required some basic cognitive input, like a strategy game. And any modern game is bound to be unfamiliar to him and thus will require him to dedicate some time to learning how to play it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Sam said, ¡°that¡¯s exactly it. Wow. Good job on being able to stand my bellyaching, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Think nothing of it. Yours is a perfectly valid stand even if I do not hold it myself or share the same interest with the kind of games you¡¯re most interested in.¡±

    ¡°Whatever.¡± Felix waved his hand dismissively. ¡°Just take care you won¡¯t become one of those people who think that everything made before the Integration was great and that everything after is shit. They¡¯re really annoying.¡±

    ¡°Buddy.¡± Sam put his hand on Felix¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m already one of those people. Always have been. Probably always will be, if just to fuck with most people alive. Don¡¯t feel too bad for me, though. Even without gaming, the rest of the evening passed just fine. I¡¯m recharged and ready to take on the week!¡±

    ¡°Are you really?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°No. But I always never am. I¡¯m one of those people who would fare way better if they could store their relaxation energy because even after a whole semester break off, I¡¯m already drained by the second day of the second semester.¡±

    ¡°And yet you still managed to graduate. So you must be able to push on through despite your perceived lack of energy.¡±

    ¡°Yes. It¡¯s a process I like to call ¡®stop feeling sorry for myself and acting like a little bitch.¡¯ It¡¯s got a hundred percent success rate because anything that I ever flunked on doesn¡¯t count because I must have not wanted it hard enough.¡±

    ¡°Well, I, for one, look forward to the day when you finally stop acting like a little bitch,¡± Felix said and received a withering stare from Sarah in response. Which might have been, although probably not, the reason that he continued and said, ¡°The good God above knows that I have a lot to learn on the subject.¡±

    ¡°I doubt it. What did you do then for unwinding yesterday?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t say wild sex,¡± Yvessa warned Felix.

    ¡°Does he really say that?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°That was one time.¡± Felix held his finger up. ¡°You asked me what I wanted to do most with my trimester break and I said, ¡®Having wild sex every other day doesn¡¯t sound too bad.¡¯ I didn¡¯t even end up having that much sex, I¡¯ll have you know! And I¡¯m sorry if the truth hurts you, prudes, but sex feels nice and it¡¯s great for relaxing after a stressful period! But no, I did not have any sexual relations yesterday. I just stayed in and went to sleep a little bit early, as a treat.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s nice,¡± Sam said. ¡°I miss sleeping in.¡±

    ¡°Slipping in?¡±

    ¡°Fuck off.¡±

    ¡°You three are sending me some very mixed messages, you know? Anyway, I didn¡¯t even end up sleeping more than usual. My bastard body woke me up before my alarm. You know that¡±¡ªhe turned to Yvessa¡ª¡°because I told you I was heading for the gym early so we won¡¯t work out together today. And speaking of heading to the gym early, guess who I didn¡¯t find there?¡±

    ¡°Jane Fonda?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Is that a real person?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    ¡°Right, what a stupid question to ask. Is that person living with us today?¡±

    ¡°I think you would have heard of her if she was.¡±

    ¡°Who didn¡¯t you see at the gym?¡± Yvessa asked, although she, like everyone else at the table, probably already knew the answer.

    ¡°Why the intrepid second-year cadet and woman of many interests,¡± Felix said. ¡°Our dear friend Sarah Khan. Care to comment as to why that was?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Can I hazard a guess?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Can someone else?¡± Sarah¡¯s face was impassive. ¡°Well, OK then¡­ I just thought that as friends and future comrade-in-arms, we ought to be honest with each other and aim to help one another as much as we can.¡±

    ¡°Is that in some document that we have to sign?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Or is this just one of those social norms that I keep hearing so much about?¡±

    ¡°Sarah? Anything you want to share with the table?¡±

    ¡°No thanks,¡± she answered, while focusing down on her plate. ¡°I¡¯m pretty hungry, so I¡¯m going to finish everything that I picked up.¡± Sam gave her a thumbs up for that response, although she couldn¡¯t see it with her eyes so downcast.

    ¡°Ladies and gentlemen, exhibit A of Sam being a bad influence on Sarah.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sam said, ¡°if this is your first exhibit, then either you haven¡¯t been paying much attention or you have a very forgiving definition of what counts as bad influence.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t get it Sam. Do you not care about why Sarah is behaving out of the norm?¡±

    Sam was just about to answer when Sarah looked up and gave him a stern look, completely ruining Sam¡¯s attempt at deflecting the question and the possibility that their friends wouldn¡¯t figure out that she told him something. ¡°I¡­ Ahem¡­¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°What I meant to say is that I haven¡¯t known Sarah enough time to define what her normal behavior looks like, so I don¡¯t really feel like I can provide valuable input to this conversation.¡±

    Yvessa rolled her eyes. ¡°So what was it, Sarah? You figured out that you were seriously behind in your coursework but didn¡¯t want to tell us know because that would only prove that we were right?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Sarah¡¯s blushing face was an indictment all on its own. ¡°OK, yes. I found out that I almost failed one of my exams so I stayed in yesterday and this morning to catch up on my studies. Can we please drop the subject for now?¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°So obviously you told Sam about this beforehand because you didn¡¯t want him to worry about you, right?¡±

    ¡°According to her,¡± Sam said, ¡°it was because she knows that I don¡¯t respect my own opinion, so any condemnation from me will be hollow.¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ yeah. Let¡¯s go with that for a reason.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t I just ask not to speak about this anymore?¡± Sarah grit her teeth.

    ¡°Fair enough.¡± Felix turned to Yvessa. ¡°It¡¯s not like we can do anything more anyway. She won¡¯t listen to any of us, or even Dan and Maurice.¡±

    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    ¡°Maurice actually backs me up, so I do listen to him.¡±

    ¡°Really? So you¡¯re saying he¡¯s the one that we should be focusing on convincing instead? Sam, you¡¯re friends with Maurice. How about trying to change his mind on the matter?¡±

    ¡°Define friend,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°OK, maybe not a friend. By friendly¡­ right?¡±

    ¡°Eh.¡±

    ¡°Oh stop that, Sam.¡± Sarah gently pushed his shoulder. ¡°Maurice likes you well enough.¡±

    ¡°Perfect then.¡± Felix clapped. ¡°So you endorse the plan? If Sam manages to convince Maurice that you¡¯re taking too many electives, then you¡¯ll drop some of them.¡±

    ¡°What? Obviously not. Look, I just didn¡¯t have as much free time recently as I¡¯m used to, so my studies suffered as a result. That¡¯s it. And that¡¯s all that we¡¯re going to say about the subject anymore, clear?¡±

    ¡°Hear hear,¡± Sam agreed. ¡°And I, for one, don¡¯t understand how you could pivot the conversation topic from myself to another person so thoughtlessly.¡±

    ¡°What are you on about?¡± Felix asked. ¡°You¡¯re the one that did that by asking me how I spent last night.¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­¡± Sam stopped to gather his thoughts for a moment. He had already managed to forget about his own part in the gears of the dialogue moving. ¡°But, but, what I expected you to do was to lob the ball back to me. Answer the question and then return the focus of the conversation to where it was. ME.¡±

    ¡°OK, we can do that right now then. What did you end up doing instead of playing games?¡±

    ¡°Too late. I already got offended. Let¡¯s move on to Yvessa, who¡¯s the only one whose whereabouts for last night are still unknown.¡±

    ¡°I split it between cultivating and school work.¡± She shrugged. ¡°Watched a little TV before bed, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± drawled Felix, ¡°riveting stuff.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the one that went to bed early.¡±

    ¡°Yes. But it got us onto the Sarah conversation. So it was much more interesting in the long run than yours.¡±

    ¡°Guys, guys.¡± Sam held up his hands. ¡°There¡¯s no reason to be fighting over which had the more interesting night in or just life in general. The answer is me. It¡¯s always me. Why? Because I live in two worlds, yours and the past Earth, so I bring two different outlooks into every situation which provides the audience with greater pleasure than just your singular one.¡±

    ¡°Not arguing against your point, because there is just too much to argue, but what about Sarah? She also has her foot in two worlds. In fact, her step in our modern world is much more balanced and nuanced than yours. Shouldn¡¯t that give enough advantage to at least equal you in interest?¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ in theory. But think about this: I spent last night watching comedy clips. She spent it studying.¡±

    ¡°Is your point that Sarah¡¯s a better cadet than you are?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Better person? Yes. More interesting person? No. And if Sarah was listening to us right now instead of being lost in her own head, probably thinking about boring school stuff, she¡¯d agree with me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m listening just fine,¡± Sarah said. ¡°But thank you for bringing up boring school stuff because it¡¯s a perfectly valid excuse for me to cut early. See you at dinner, guys.¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously not going to say anything to her about having too much electives?¡± Felix asked Sam once Sarah was out of earshot.

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Look, you two, and Dan, I guess, think this one thing about Sarah. Sarah¡ªand also Maurice now, I guess¡ªthink another thing and the both of them probably know Sarah¡¯s capabilities a little better than your side. I¡¯m leaning to your guys¡¯ point of view, don¡¯t get me wrong, but I have nowhere near enough knowledge about anything to come to any prescriptive decision. I¡¯ll tell you what, I¡¯ll be writing Farris, my dear old mentor, a letter with a bunch of questions one of these days. I¡¯ll make sure to ask him for his point of view on the matter.¡±

    ¡°How would that help anyone? I doubt that Sarah is going to listen to Farris if she¡¯s not listening to Dan.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯ll help me by delaying the date by which I need to come up with an informed decision on the matter. Now if you¡¯ll excuse me, I¡¯m going to copy Sarah and also cut early, well earlier, today. I¡¯m feeling a little bad about taking so much time off yesterday.¡±

    After bidding his friends goodbye, Sam made the way to Dan¡¯s office in brisk pace (headphones on). He was slowly getting in shape after all, so there was no reason not to use his newfound endurance and speed to cut some unnecessary traveling time wastage. The door¡ªas was becoming the norm¡ªwas open and let Sam in without a sound. And Dan, as per the new norm, was sitting at his desk, staring intently at his computer screen. The very picture of a high-ranking school administrator and nothing like the person who ranks amongst the thousand most important people of the Web should look like. Although, the other two Rulers Sam had met, who were both stronger than the just level 10 administrator (well, one was definitely stronger. Sam didn¡¯t know where Dan actually ranked compared to Esther), also didn¡¯t look too much like their rank would suggest. Which was good news to Sam because becoming a Ruler was a definite prospect in his future, but changing his style was not.

    ¡°Sam, good morning. Please take a sit, I¡¯ll be with you shortly¡­ Actually, how about you make us drinks today? You don¡¯t have to, but it will save us one or two minutes, and I know your views on the efficient use of time.¡±

    Sam obliged to the request and made sure that the groan he gave as he was standing up, having just sat down, wasn¡¯t too loud and pitiful. Luckily, there wasn¡¯t much thinking to be done for their drinks, Sam just had his glass of cold water, and Dan had his cup of tea whose only ingredient besides boiling hot water was a single tea bag (black tea as it turned out, Sam didn¡¯t bother taking a look before). He put both drinks on the table and sat down with only the slightest of groans. He closed his eyes to practice some gathering, but didn¡¯t get through too many cycles before Dan cleared his throat and he opened them to see Dan joined him in the opposite sit.

    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± Dan said. ¡°I¡¯ve taken on a fair share of extra administrative work for the military and it¡¯s been hard to shuffle it back the way it came from now that I have new obligations on my time.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. Just as long as you¡¯re also talking care of yourself, right?¡±

    ¡°Are you alluding to me becoming Ruler sometime in the future? Or is just a general wish for my wellbeing?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t alluding to the first, but now it¡¯s both, I guess. Just didn¡¯t want you to lose sleep because me or anything.¡±

    ¡°Nothing to worry about from that aspect. If I end up losing sleep, it¡¯s not because of you, I assure you. But enough about me. We have a very packed day, week rather, ahead of us when it comes to your studies, no?¡±

    Sam nodded. The question wasn¡¯t rhetorical. Dan liked for Sam to take an active part in ¡°designing¡± their lessons together, which mostly just meant that he went over with Sam about what they were going to do in do in the coming day and where it fit in the weekly schedule. Last Friday, however, Dan also told him what they were going to do way off in the future, next week, when Dan proclaimed him to be proficient enough in his gathering for them to start learning about the fundamental gathering techniques during their next lesson.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Sam said. ¡°We¡¯re supposed to go over the actual fundamental techniques of gathering. So no more unnamed stages for us.¡±

    ¡°Well, the stages are still there and they might not be named, but they are numbered the same. But besides that, quite right. We¡¯ll focus this week, and perhaps the next, on going over the differing methods for completing the first stage of gathering. We might not need the whole week even. It all depends on how easy it¡¯ll be for us to see which method you¡¯re most comfortable with. That¡¯ll be the one whose more advanced forms we¡¯ll focus on for the rest of the trimester. Lucky for us, for the third stage of gathering, or rather for the cultivating end of it, there is only one fundamental technique which all the others build upon. That technique is also usually the most complex for people to pull of so that¡¯s what we¡¯ll start with, just to make sure we can finish going over it today. As for today¡¯s timetables, I wanted us to start with gathering for a change. We¡¯ll do an hour to two of tracing after lunch and then back to gathering until dinnertime. The same schedule for at least the rest of the week. Just so that you could get used as fast as possible to the new techniques.¡±

    ¡°Sound good.¡±

    ¡°Excellent. So the fundamental technique for increasing your core¡¯s capacity is called excavating. The main difference between excavating and the ¡®technique¡¯ you were employing up to today, is that the pre-fundamental method was just taking the gathered magical energy and focusing it on a specific, or as close to specific as possible for you to imagine, point inside your core. Excavating changes the whole concept by making so that instead of focusing on a single point, you¡¯re focusing on your core as a whole. Imagine blowing air into a balloon and so expanding it in all directions compared to just sticking your fingers inside and extending it in just one. So, start gathering and once you¡¯ll get to the third stage, I¡¯ll show you how to do it. Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to mention that most people only start learning these more ¡®advanced¡¯ forms when they¡¯ve had a year or two of gathering under their belts. So you¡¯re well ahead of the curve, in that aspect.¡±

    Sam nodded noncommittally, he¡¯ll have to check this later with his friends to see whether there was anything to even feel proud about (not that there was even if Dan¡¯s words were true, being better than a teenager is the prerogative of most other stages of a human¡¯s development). He began gathering as per Dan¡¯s instructions, the first stage coming much easier today that it did a whole week and a half ago, only taking him about two minutes to gather the maximum amount of energy that he was able to hold before it started slipping away (a major part of last week¡¯s lessons was figuring out what that maximum amount was). The second stage passed instantaneously and uneventfully as always and once he had the magical energy held only a single thought away from his core, he nodded his head to signal Dan that he was finished (he still wasn¡¯t completely sure of managing to hold the magic if speaking).

    ¡°Good,¡± Dan said. ¡°What you¡¯ll want to do now, instead of just constantly pushing the energy inwards, as you did before, is to hold it in your core and not let it go. So simply push the energy into your core and keep a steady hold of it.¡±

    Sam complied and was immediately confronted with the difficulty of the task. This was exactly the problem that he was faced with the first time that he tried gathering. He couldn¡¯t maintain control of the magical energy inside the magical vortex that was his core, so his hold grew weak and most of the energy ended up dissipating before making it inside. This was what the unnamed technique he employed up till now was meant to counter. By hurling the energy against the walls of his core, he managed to make use of it before it slipped away. But Sam of a week and a half ago wasn¡¯t the Sam of today, and he managed to hold the magic inside his core for a whole minute. And then his mind wandered for a second and it all slipped away. He shook his head as he released his breath to signal Dan that he had failed.

    ¡°That¡¯s excavating.¡± Dan nodded once Sam explained to him what had happened.

    ¡°Come again?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s excavating. Obviously not the part about losing control of the magic, but that only happened because most of the magic at that point had gone into enlarging your core. Holding on for a minute for your first time, with the amount of magic that you can grab hold of and the size of your core, is pretty good unless I got my math wrong. So you actually had an easier time with this than I was expecting.¡±

    ¡°Are you serious? That¡¯s all I¡¯m supposed to do? There¡¯s no technique. It¡¯s even simpler than what I did until today..¡±

    ¡°Is it simpler? I suppose that conceptually, excavating has one less action in the total chain of actions than the brute method has. But practically? There¡¯s a reason you weren¡¯t excavating for the last week and a half. If you tried before you were proficient enough in gathering, you wouldn¡¯t have managed to hold your magic inside your core for excavating to be possible. Don¡¯t worry though, it gets much more complicated in the future. But it¡¯ll be a couple of weeks before we get to that. And it¡¯ll be much longer until we can move on to any of the techniques that considered a step up from what you just did. What this means, however, is that I¡¯m feeling certain that we could go over both major techniques for the first stage of gathering today. Let¡¯s keep practicing excavating for another hour before moving on to those.¡±

    Sam¡¯s fortune didn¡¯t hold, however, as he had a much harder time with the second of the techniques they went over. Holding, Dan called it. It involved tuning his own body to be able to pull more energy to it as if it was a magnet, a process that was supposed to cut short some of the time the most basic version of the first stage (blindly grasping outwards) took. But even after the rest of the morning passed, Sam was still not comfortable enough with the technique for it to be better than what it was supposed to be replacing.

    But it all turned out to be a moot point in the end. Because after their tracing practice (ended up two hours), Dan introduced Sam to the second archetype of first-stage of gathering techniques: seeking. And Sam was good at that. So good, that Dan made a note to himself to ask Farris whether Sam being a Thread-Weaver had something to do with it. Sam bet that it did, and this time, his low sense of esteem wasn¡¯t the only thing that made him unable to feel comfortable with success. Seeking really did seem to come much too instinctively to him. In a way, it reminded him of how the Threadsight seemed to come (and turn off) instinctively when he first awakened to his magic (although, there was a chance that Sam was bullshitting himself and that the two had nothing in similar with each other and Sam just fabricated the memory that they did).

    According to Dan, the half and half split between the prevalence of seeking techniques and holding ones only held true in the general populace. In the military circles they were a part of, the greater difficulty (comparatively) for a person to better their ability with seeking meant that it was harder to standardize for wide usage. Especially since it seemed like it was all a matter of luck. You not only had to be better at seeking than holding, but you also had to be better in such a way that it wasn¡¯t worth your time to be training in holding techniques because your seeking will always be better.

    According to Dan, at least a fifth of the academy cadets would be those who always perform better with seeking techniques than with holding ones (with another fifth whose talents leaned towards seeking but not so much as to make holding completely non-competitive). Dan and Felix were two examples of this sort of people, although they both trained in holding for a while, just to make sure that they were both indeed better off with just seeking. But even the two of them weren¡¯t as good with seeking as Sam was, according to Dan. Which was great news as far as Sam and his teacher were concerned. Sam because there was something he was good at (and who gives a shit about brute-luck and unearned opportunities at this point?) and Dan because it meant that the choice for what Sam should study was clear and there was no reason for them to waste time on learning holding.

    So how was the seeking technique of gathering actually done? Sam wasn¡¯t really sure. He just managed to do it by following Dan¡¯s very basic instructions: ¡°Imagine your thoughts sending out a tractor beam in a straight line. Next, direct your thoughts at the point around you that first pops up in your head. If you grab a hold of magic, good, pull it back and keep going the same way until you have as much magic, or close enough, as you can hold and go on to the second stage. If you miss, then no matter, just keep going until you succeed enough times. The ¡®seeking¡¯ part might be incredibly hard to improve upon, but the pulling back part is definitely not. And that¡¯s what we want to practice.¡±

    And he was right. Sam definitely had space to improve in that part of the technique. He lost a significant amount of magical energy either when pulling it back to himself or by mistakenly throwing out with his thoughts what he had already managed to grab hold of. But as for the first part? According to Dan, there wasn¡¯t even all that much place for him to improve upon there, nevermind it being so difficult to do so. Every single time he sent out his thoughts, he grabbed hold of a wisp of magic, and while it was indeed just a wisp, it was still about a third of all the magical energy he could securely grab hold of.

    Which meant that at the end of the day, Sam cut his time in the first stage of a gathering cycle from two minutes on average to less than half a minute. Dan closed today¡¯s lesson by saying that since Sam had an easy time with both of the new gathering techniques, they could go back to their usual routine of equally splitting the lessons between gathering and tracing.

 Chapter 68

    ¡°What? That doesn¡¯t make you better than me,¡± Felix said, but the half-scowl he was trying to suppress was telling a different story.

    ¡°Relatively better,¡± Sam said. ¡°When comparing between our two starting points, at least.¡±

    ¡°Nah. No way.¡±

    ¡°How the hell not? I¡¯ve got it from straight the mouth of the highest pedagogic authority we both submit to. Dan said, verbatim, that I¡¯m way better at seeking than you or he were at the beginning.¡±

    ¡°So what? That doesn¡¯t make you better than me. It just means that you¡¯ve had an initial advantage that I didn¡¯t have. Probably because of your Thread-Weaver cheat powers. Am I right, Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± she asked with a shake of her head. She wasn¡¯t paying that close attention to their conversation. ¡°How the hell should I know?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the only other person here with experience with other cheaters. So, does your Thread-Weaver best friend also gather by seeking?¡±

    ¡°Erianna? Yeah, she does.¡±

    Felix upturned his hands, as though presenting a comprehensive and convincing logical argument. ¡°Well, there you go. It¡¯s got nothing to do with you being better than me, Sam. It¡¯s just your natural inborn¡ªor whatever a Thread-Weaver is¡ªadvantage playing in your favor and giving you an unfair head start over me as I was years ago. Which doesn¡¯t prove that you are better than me in any way whatsoever.¡±

    Sam furrowed his brows. ¡°Except that it does, and you just did.¡±

    ¡°The hell are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°Are you hearing yourself? You just admitted that I have an advantage over a past version of yourself. Fair, not fair, it doesn¡¯t play into it. I¡¯m not trying to argue that me being better than you was earned in any shape or form. But it is an irrefutable fact that when comparing both of our starting abilities with seeking, I am better than you.¡±

    ¡°Better than I was, you mean.¡±

    ¡°No. Better than you. We¡¯re not comparing current ability with seeking. But rather initial talent with the technique. A years-old constant for you, maybe, but a constant nonetheless. You¡¯re right, of course, it¡¯s all brute luck. It¡¯s like comparing Usain¡¯s Bolt¡¯s genetics to your average high-school sprinter. Sure, what matters in the end is, obviously, Bolt¡¯s amazing work-ethic that let him harness his physical talents to their limits. But it doesn¡¯t change the fact that when comparing the base stats, the starting position in both runner¡¯s careers, Bolt is better, and will always remain better. Because genetics, exactly like initial talent in our case, don¡¯t change¡­ Without outside intervention, at least.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I was about to say. You don¡¯t get to preach the immutability of genetics when you¡¯re always harping on about how much your body is better than it used to be.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a fair comment. And I¡¯ll be the first to admit that my body has improved. That the me of today is better than the me of a hundred years ago in all physical aspects. It¡¯s not a normative statement, despite the normative-sounding verbiage being used, to say that A is better than B when comparing between their amoral objective states.¡±

    ¡°Still not going to say that you¡¯re better than me.¡± Felix crossed his hands.

    Yvessa sighed. ¡°How are you two still on that?¡±

    ¡°Well what¡¯s your opinion then? Ms. Watching From the Sidelines?¡±

    ¡°Sam¡¯s obviously right. Being as attuned to gathering by seeking as Dan says he is does make him better than you. In this one ultimately meaningless department. Which makes this entire conversation even more meaningless.¡±

    ¡°To be fair,¡± Sam said, ¡°no one¡¯s arguing for the meaning of either the comparison or the dialogue surrounding it. I think we¡¯re all aware of its banality.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you are, Sam. Are you?¡± Yvessa asked Felix with a tilt of her head.

    Felix clicked his tongue and waved her off. ¡°Don¡¯t try that judgmental crap on me. Just because I know the argument is meaningless doesn¡¯t mean that I have to accept the other side¡¯s reasonings and conclusion.¡±

    ¡°What argument?¡± Sarah asked as she sat down to join them for dinner.

    ¡°Nevermind the ¡®argument.¡¯ What do you have to say for yourself? This is the most late you¡¯ve been to a meal ever since Sam entered the picture. More time playing unnecessary electives catch up?¡±

    ¡°No. Class just ran late, is all. I had nothing to do with it.¡±

    ¡°Likely story¡­¡±

    Sarah ignored Felix¡¯s mutterings, choosing instead to start playing catch up with the rest of the table. Somehow managing to eat even faster than her usual breakneck pace. Although, she didn¡¯t last more than three bites before her overly-worried instincts came to the fore and she stopped her devouring to ask, ¡°So what was the argument?¡±

    ¡°Nothing for you to worry about.¡± Sam patted her back to calm her, sure, but also to help her (and his by sympathetic proxy) digestion. ¡°Just whether me being so much better at seeking than Felix was, makes me better than him.¡±

    Sarah¡¯s face brightened. ¡°Oh, right! Today you were going to start studying the fundamental gathering techniques. So how did it go?¡±

    ¡°I just told you, I was found out to be way better at seeking than Felix was.¡±

    ¡°Can you elaborate further?¡±

    ¡°In what ways? How much better is my talent with seeking when compared to Felix in percentages?¡±

    ¡°Alright, enough!¡± Felix said with an exasperated sigh. ¡°Just give her your daily recap so we can finally move on to a different topic.¡±

    Sam chuckled, but complied with Felix¡¯s directives, nonetheless. ¡°So at the end of the day,¡± he said, ¡°my daily schedule remained unchanged. Same old, same old.¡±

    ¡°Are you really trying to complain about having managed to comprehend and execute both seeking and excavating in one day instead of two weeks?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Hm¡­ I wasn¡¯t thinking of it like that¡­ But yeah, I guess that¡¯s a fair assessment of the way I said it.¡±

    ¡°And not the way you feel about it?¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°Guess not¡­ You¡¯re really twisting my hands here, not letting me feel dismayed about these recent developments. But whatever. I can take it.¡±

    ¡°Did you just complain about not being able to complain?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Yep.¡±

    ¡°Unbelievable¡­¡±

    ¡°Not really. It¡¯s just the way of the world, I¡¯m afraid. It¡¯s the prerogative of the most talented to feel unsatisfied with developments that would have left the less fortunate feeling elated.¡±

    ¡°You know, I don¡¯t like this new side of you. I prefer the old you, from a few hours ago. When the only thing about yourself you were sure about was your ability to make fun of yourself.¡±

    ¡°Felix¡­¡± Sam tapped his head. ¡°Don¡¯t be such a secondary character. Use your brain and you¡¯ll figure out that nothing¡¯s changed. I¡¯m still operating under the same parameters as before.¡±

    ¡°God, you¡¯re so annoying when you¡¯re not crippled by self-doubt.¡±

    ¡°Now on that, we can agree. Wait. No we can¡¯t. You mean to say that I¡¯m not annoying when I am crippled by self-doubt? Me being annoying is mainstay joke number one in my arsenal of self-deprecating humor. You can¡¯t take that away from me! No matter how old and stale the joke gets, and how grating on your nerves I become when I tell it for the hundredth time.¡±

    Felix nodded with a smile. ¡°Now that¡¯s more like the Sam I grew to barely tolerate in the last two weeks.¡±

    Sarah cleared her throat, having already done a fair amount of the same action for her plate. ¡°Try that again, Felix.¡±

    ¡°Grew to love. Grew to love.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s better. Like how Sam is at seeking compared to you.¡±

    ¡°Hey! C¡¯mon now. You¡¯ve got to at least have the facade of impartiality. You¡¯re giving Sam way too much power over the group dynamics acting like that.¡±

    ¡°As opposed to when she wasn¡¯t here and the only thing we were talking about was¡­ what?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°She¡¯s got a point,¡± Sam said. ¡°My shenanigans do take up a lot of the group¡¯s time.¡±

    ¡°Shenanigans?¡± Felix asked. ¡°You¡¯ve done nothing with your life but study ever since you returned. Amazingly, your life is somehow even more boring than Sarah¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°Well sure, I¡¯m not arguing against that. I mean, as long as you¡¯re saying that I¡¯m trying harder than Sarah is¡ª¡±

    ¡°I am,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°You are,¡± Sarah added just a micro-second later.

    ¡°Ugh¡­ enough out of you two sycophants. Now, where was I?¡±

    ¡°Meandering your way towards some stupid joke, I¡¯m betting,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°No one¡¯s going to take you up on that bet. That¡¯s like one-to-one odds. But enough with the distracting, I was going to say something in response to Felix¡¯s¡ª¡±

    ¡°Was it going to be anything substantial; that¡¯s important for us to hear?¡±

    ¡°You know it wasn¡¯t. It was going to be a half-baked joke. About how I bring a certain joie de vivre to our interactions by force of my awesome personality alone or something along those lines.¡±

    ¡°Still managed to get it out in the end, didn¡¯t you? Are you happy about that?¡±

    ¡°Not really. I might bring joy to everyone surrounding me, but it is my greatest curse to never avail myself of that very same joy. Much like Pagliacci the Clown in whatever the origin of that bit really is. Although, obviously not as good as Pagliacci because that sad sack would¡¯ve been able to segue to the reference much more neatly.¡±

    ¡°Motion to not talk about Sam anymore for the rest of the meal,¡± Felix said after a couple of seconds passed without conversation resuming.

    ¡°Agreed,¡± said Sam and Yvessa in unison.

    But it was Sarah¡¯s silence, her lack of objection, that ensured the suggestion¡¯s pass. Although, it did not ensure its implementation. Providing yet another example of the crucial role active enforcement plays in order to ensure lawful behavior in the anarchic environment of a military academy social group. For after only a couple more moments of silence, with no sound to be heard around the table expect Sarah¡¯s and Yvessa¡¯s eating, and Felix¡¯s fingers drumming on that very same surface, Felix said, ¡°So what are we going to talk about if not Sam? He is the most common topic of conversation as of late.¡±

    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°Did you really just break the very same motion that you yourself raised before the table?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I sure did. Just as I¡¯m sure that you have an obscure historical reference to compare my actions with.¡±

    ¡°I absolutely do. Let me take you all the way back to the roaring twenties. In fact, we¡¯re just about to bid them goodbye. And in the center stage of the act¡ªNah, you know what? I don¡¯t have power for geopolitics right now. Too much actual Web-politics for me to catch up on.¡±

    ¡°We still use the term geopolitics,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°We? You¡¯re speaking Sarechi.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s not even a Sarechi word. Just goes to show how similar both of the words are.¡±

    ¡°Oh great¡­¡± Felix said. ¡°A discussion of language. Now that would really uplift this evening¡¯s conversation.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the one that got us here.¡±

    ¡°Hey, I wasn¡¯t pointing any fingers. I was lamenting my own failures just as much as the topic itself.¡±

    ¡°Well here¡¯s a topic for us to talk about other than myself,¡± Sam said. ¡°Your many character failings.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Are you willing to give up the monopoly you have on that subject? Hm¡­ that didn¡¯t come up quite the way I meant, right?¡±

    ¡°Did you mean to joke about how I¡¯m always talking about my own negative personal qualities?¡±

    ¡°Yes, that was the gist.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought. Which could mean that you did get your joke across. Of course, if we were to take you literally, then I think it comes off less as a joke and more like you railing against me for always criticizing your personality.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I was afraid of, yes. Yvessa, which meaning did you understand?¡±

    ¡°The one that gets us off of this dumb topic,¡± she said.

    ¡°Look, you¡¯ve been going on and on tonight about how everything we¡¯ve talked about is stupid. I think it¡¯s high time that you¡¯ve come up with your own topic instead.¡±

    ¡°Fine by me, because there is actually something important that I wanted to talk to you guys about. According to the news, the elven-Terran military summit has practically, if not officially, concluded today because of Basil Lamius returning to Maynil.¡± She turned to Sam. ¡°That¡¯s your mentor¡¯s second in command.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s news to me,¡± Sam said. ¡°Three items of news, actually. I thought the summit was, for all intents and purposes, done with the moment Farris left it. That¡¯s the way he built up his own self-importance, at least.¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°Going by the lack of any consequential leaking from the summit, we¡¯ll probably¡ªor at the vest least, the general public will¡ªnever know the truth of it. But in case there was anything of substance still left to be discussed after Farris left, there definitely isn¡¯t now, with Basil gone.¡±

    ¡°Good to know¡­¡± Sam said, gesturing for Yvessa to continue leading the group in her chosen conversational direction. The ensuing conversation encompassed the rest of their (Yvessa¡¯s and Sarah¡¯s) meal. Although, it was less of a conversation and more Yvessa lecturing the three of them on the political ramifications of Farris¡¯ capaciousness on the elven public sphere. Fair was fair though, Sam learned a lot. It seemed that when it came to modern-day elven history, Yvessa was a much better teacher.

    The conversation lapsed as they got up to dispense with dinner¡¯s last obligation; Sam excusing himself to go to the bathroom. But, as they started making their way out of the mess hall and towards their usual (although for Sam it was only three times a week) post-dinner destination, Yvessa tried to bring them back on track. ¡°So, as I was saying, it all depends on whether Farris agreed to change anything about the elven military during the summit or whether it really was just to do with change within the Terran military.¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Felix interrupted her, ¡°can we please stop talking about that? Politics is boring enough, but hearing about how some elves don¡¯t think the republic should be independent makes me depressed on top of being bored with the politics.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t run away from reality, Felix.¡±

    ¡°No, but I can ignore it until I¡¯m strong enough to browbeat it into submission.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll never be strong enough to be able to not care about politics.¡±

    ¡°To be fair,¡± Sam said, ¡°it depends on your definition of what politics is.¡±

    ¡°Do you have a definition of politics such that it is wholly separate from the war¡¯s conduct?¡±

    ¡°Obviously not.¡± Sam laughed. ¡°What do you think the relationship between war and politics¡ªeven by the most stringent definition¡ªis?¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily, Sam,¡± Sarah said. ¡°I¡¯m not saying that I disagree with you, but it also depends on how you define the relationship between the two.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°Well, an example that you¡¯re probably familiar with is Clausewitz, right? About how ¡®war is the continuation of policy with other means?¡¯¡±

    ¡°I am familiar with that often quoted phrase, yes. But just so you know, I wasn¡¯t going to admit it if I wasn¡¯t familiar. But what¡¯s your point? And more importantly, which interpretation of Clausewitz are you working with?¡±

    ¡°Think about it like this: Once common interpretation of his is that war is subservient or should be subservient to politics, a result of actions by the political entities. But we¡¯re living in a different world. Where the war is a constant greater than the political entities themselves. So for us, we can claim that the inverse is true. That politics are subservient to the war itself. And yes, I know, that¡¯s also a possible interpretation of him.¡±

    ¡°Yep. Anyway, I see where you¡¯re going with this. So if the war is, in fact, a realm greater than that of politics, then we can envision an ¡®ideal¡¯ world, where the political sphere is so limited as to not have anything to do with the war. At least as long as we subscribe to a view that sees politics as something that only happens to politicians.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, pretty much.¡± Sarah nodded.

    Felix shook his head in disgust. ¡°Ladies and gentleman, exhibit B of Sam being a bad influence on Sarah.¡±

    Sarah lightly knocked her shoulder against his. ¡°I was on your side, Felix!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ if these are the kind of people who are on my side, then I¡¯d rather be alone.¡±

    ¡°Also,¡± Sam said, ¡°may I point out that Felix was being doubly an asshole because he hinted that the only reason why you might know who Clausewitz was and what he said¡ªor at the very least why you¡¯d talk about him¡ªis because of me.

    Sarah turned her head sideways in consideration of Sam¡¯s word. ¡°Yeah¡­ what the hell, Felix?¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°Eh, give me a break. It was a joke. I could¡¯ve said something very similar about Yvessa when she was busy lecturing us about politics.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you should¡¯ve said that,¡± Sam mused. ¡°That way, I would¡¯ve had the chance of not ending the evening as the most disliked member in our friend group. Slim chance though that might¡¯ve been.¡± He nodded to Yvessa with a sigh.

    She shook her head at him with a resigned chuckle. ¡°Do you realize that you keep alternating between jokes about how you¡¯re the most liked person in the group to the least liked one?¡±

    ¡°Not only do I realize that, but I am consciously aware of the fact before every joke of the sort that I make.¡±

    ¡°And you don¡¯t see anything wrong with the fact that you keep doing that?¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s fair to say that it¡¯s pretty much impossible for me to not see anything wrong with any action that I perform. Except petting cats. I¡¯m good with cats.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a joke to be made there,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that one is beneath even the likes of me.¡±

    ¡°Virgins?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I¡¯ll give you credit. At least you managed to subvert it somewhat.¡±

    ¡°Of course I did. I¡¯m not like you. I¡¯m better.¡±

    ¡°Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day, you¡¯ll find what you seek.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not having that discussion again,¡± Yvessa said. Sam held up his hands in appeasement. Felix might¡¯ve tried to reopen the argument, but he was stopped by Sarah making his day.

    ¡°By the way, Sam,¡± Sarah said just as the field came into view and he had lost his chance of escape, ¡°I think it¡¯s high time that we increase the difficulty of your workout routine. You¡¯ve been doing the same routine for two weeks now, so don¡¯t try to lie and tell me that it hasn¡¯t gotten significantly easier.¡±

    Sam stopped in his tracks, very much like a lifelong asthmatic being asked to run on a treadmill for the asthma test. The poor, bad-lunged fellow wanted to get better, but not like this. This was too hard. The other three stopped to stare back at him. Weirdly enough, Yvessa was the only one with a hint of sympathy in her eyes. ¡°High time as in today?¡± Sam asked, throat drying as though in precognition of its future state.

    ¡°Of course today,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Don¡¯t forget that you¡¯re up against the clock here; the faster you get in shape, the faster you could begin to fully utilize your combat lessons. I talked with Lin and Dan about this, and they were in full agreement. Lin even conceded to ease off a little bit in your lessons together. Although I assured him that wouldn¡¯t be necessary, as you will be more than able to go on as before.¡±

    ¡°Again with the unfounded confidence? Haven¡¯t I¡¯ve shown you enough to dissuade you of any such notion?¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± She stared back at him blankly, or, at least, her version of a blank face when it came to him. By this point, Sam could quite easily recognize the telltale signs¡ªeyes too slow to blink and aimed at every part of his face except their counterparts, to name just a few¡ªof the two-and-a-half weeks-old internal struggle raging in Sarah¡¯s mind. Between doing what she thought she (and by extension Sam) should be doing and being wrecked by anxiety that she was wrong (for oh too many reasons, Sam might¡¯ve not been privy to Sarah¡¯s inner machinations, but he could easily put himself in her place and infer her possible worries) and will only end up hurting Sam in the long run, if not the short.

    Thankfully, for both Sarah and the Web, Felix spoke up in support of her suggestion. Proving, once again, that good can come for even the most petty of sources. ¡°I heartily concur with Sarah¡¯s assessment and suggestion.¡± He raised both thumbs up. ¡°I myself have had the very same thought about your physical performance during the last week, Sam. And I also concluded that not only were you having an easier time working out, but that you¡¯re also more than capable of taking a step forward in the long road of combat fitness.¡±

    ¡°Did you now?¡± Sam asked dryly, happy to change the target of his complaining to someone less emotionally charged.

    ¡°Very much so. And you know what? I also came back to what Yvessa said about you giving it your all. And I found myself very much in agreement with her as well. The harder you make it on yourself now, the easier, and better, it will be on you in the future.¡±

    Yvessa raised her eyebrow. ¡°You disagreed with me back then.¡±

    ¡°I changed my mind! You convinced me.¡±

    ¡°Changing your mind because of other people? That would be a first. ¡±

    ¡°Ha ha. Very funny. Maybe you¡¯re right. Maybe I just want to see Sam sweat a lot more than usual and have his breathing be painful. And I¡¯m willing to say whatever will get me to that scenario. But, at the same time, I¡¯d just be wanting him to go back to how he was two weeks ago after every workout, when they were much harder on him.¡±

    ¡°None of you are having such a hard time with your workout,¡± Sam objected.

    ¡°Nope. And I¡¯ll tell you a secret: I never did. I could take it way easier than you are. Seeing as I wasn¡¯t in any hurry to get in shape as fast as possible.¡±

    ¡°Point taken.¡±

    ¡°So are you willing to try it?¡± Sarah asked, having already retreated to a position that tonight¡¯s change was only a suggestion.

    ¡°Of course I am. Can¡¯t really avoid simply trying, right?¡±

    ¡°A goody two shoes like you certainly can¡¯t,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°I take offense to that description. If only because I actually possess six shoes.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve wasted enough time already, don¡¯t you think?¡± Yvessa asked no one in particular.

    Sarah straightened as though she were the sole deserving recipient of that chastisement. Turing to Sam, she said, ¡°OK, so let¡¯s try this new workout plan today, alright? And we¡¯ll wait for tomorrow and Tuesday to see whether we make it permanent.¡±

    Sam nodded sullenly and followed behind the three as they set towards an empty part of the outfield to deposit their bags. In a way, both Felix and Yvessa. and, of course, Sarah¡ªso really everyone but him¡ªwere right. Sam had had an easier time working out in the last week compared to the week before that. And trying to increase the difficulty would certainly not hurt. At least not hurt the kind of person Sam was trying his hardest to become. So there really was no way that he could¡¯ve refused to carry on with Sarah¡¯s new directives. Still, the warm-up exercises she led them through weren¡¯t very conductive for personal analysis, so Sam was left wondering where his knee-jerk objection truly stemmed for. Was he truly worried about something? Or was he simply operating on old hardware; automatically hating the idea of greater physical exertion?

    Most likely though, he inwardly admitted through gritted teeth (more a result of unhappiness with his physical reality than his mental one), I just argued for the sake of it. Because I can¡¯t possibly take what other people tell me about myself at face value. Well, if he was really arguing just for the sake of being contrarian, then he was already paying his dues for wasting his friends¡¯ time. As the first change in his regimen was apparent straight from the beginning of his undertaking it. In the first couple of minutes of their workout, all four would-be Rulers were finally operating under the same directives and time limits.

    But Sam¡¯s new¡ªand permanent for the near future, he¡¯ll make sure of it¡ªwarm-up routine, which left him heaving, wheezing, and Felix grinning, wasn¡¯t the end of his hardships. Ten or so minutes later, Sam found his mind receding, escaping from the turmoils of the present to the comforts of the past. To be more accurate, to two weeks and one day ago. As Sam spent the next ten minutes wondering whether his first workout in New Terra¡ªof his new life¡ªwas as hard as this one? Or were there recency bias at play? And what would either answer mean for who Sam was as a person? And more importantly, for who he needed to be?

    He was certain of one thing, though. Despite Sarah easily reverting back to her monstrous facade of a fitness-trainer, one thing was decidedly easier than it was two weeks ago. While his left leg being more nimble than his right did not make a return, his overall nimbleness did recover in some fashion. At least enough so that the last segment of the workout wasn¡¯t decidedly much harder than all the rest.

    Physically weary and mentally bleary, Sam struggled to a sitting position right where Sarah left him after she finished ¡°helping¡± him with his stretches, and placidly watched three bright stars burning ever brighter under the stolen facade of Earth¡¯s skies. He was too tired to go back to their bags, where he left his phone. Not too long after, but not short enough for Sam to feel pleased with himself, both Yvessa and Felix finished their cardio routine and settled next to him for the static portion of their regimen.

    ¡°See,¡± Felix said with a smile, ¡°I knew you could do it.¡±

    ¡°Doing it once was never in doubt,¡± Sam replied with no emotion.

    ¡°Oh¡­ thinking so highly of ourselves, are we? Fucking finally.¡±

    ¡°You know that¡¯s not what I meant.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not consciously. But I think that deep down, you are well aware of your true capabilities; your real upper limit as dictated by both physical and mental strength. At least, I very much hope so. Otherwise, I can¡¯t accept that someone as you portray yourself to be is better than me at something.¡±

    Yvessa groaned. ¡°Oh great, are we back to that again?¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± Felix waved her off. ¡°I was just trying to offset some of the saccharine in my statement with a less heartfelt comment. We¡¯re all anxious to get back to you talking about how big of assholes elves are.¡±

    She bared her teeth at him with a thin smile. ¡°Just for that comment, you¡¯re not going to get your wish.¡±

    ¡°Oh no! Whatever will we do with the rest of our evening if we can¡¯t hear about the different factions of just the racist elves?¡±

    ¡°Go to sleep assured about Terrans being superior to all other races?¡±

    ¡°Ah,¡± Sam said, ¡°back to the status quo ante, then.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Felix directed a kick in his direction. ¡°You¡¯re the one that always goes on about how Terran culture is the best.¡±

    ¡°Yes, your point? Also, note that I¡¯m talking strictly about pre-Integration Terran culture. I still don¡¯t know enough about you modern folks to have a logical basis from which to diss you.¡±

    ¡°When has that ever stopped you from criticizing something?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°When has it ever stopped anyone after the advent of social-media?¡±

 Chapter 69

    After finishing his morning meditation, Sam got up to wash his face again. ¡°Today is going to be hard,¡± he confided in the man in the mirror, who was consciously trying to force a smile upon his face. The man in question was, obviously, if unfortunately Sam. Unfortunately for who, though? Because he couldn¡¯t keep attributing the misfortune to the blameless Web. In fact, he could scarcely think of anything more damaging to his psyche and self-confidence than to keep actively reinforcing that line of thought. Unfortunately for him then. For the hardship he had, has, and will have to endure on a daily basis until reaching his ultimate goal, whatever that will turn out to be.

    Sam didn¡¯t even know what he was most afraid of in the coming day. Well, that¡¯s not strictly true. He was well aware that most of his worries stemmed from the imminent workout that he will have to endure, that much was obvious. But the actual way in which anxiety had contorted his fears was much more nefarious. Because he was also worried that he wasn¡¯t worried enough about the latter aspects of the day. That, when he¡¯ll return to his lessons with Dan, he¡¯ll find himself in trouble where yesterday there were none.

    ¡°Then again¡­¡± He slapped himself on the cheeks before stepping back from the mirror. ¡°It¡¯s really just the exercise that I¡¯m worried about. Everything else is irrational enough for me to be able to disregard it without much effort¡­ At least as it is now, before I¡¯ve had the chance to obsessively fixate on it for no discernible reason.¡± Such a possibility, even with his new body, was nowhere close to zero as he would¡¯ve wished it to be.

    ¡°Fuck! Enough with the self-therapy bullshit!¡± he muttered as he reentered the room and started getting dressed, still not cognizant of the fuck that his talking aloud was also doing its part in feeding his morning psychological frenzy. ¡°You¡¯re just butthurt because you¡¯re still sore from yesterday. It¡¯s all physical. Nothing more to see here, folks. Nope. Just shut up and get to cultivating.¡± And while he did shut up promptly, cultivating was slower to come, as he had a harder time with the first stage of gathering than usual.

    Midway through the second cycle, he slapped himself on the forehead, this time actually putting some force behind the act. ¡°Idiot,¡± he muttered. He had gone back to the old way of doing the first stage. As though yesterday didn¡¯t happen and he hadn¡¯t spent most of dinner gloating to Felix that he was great at seeking. Steeling his mind (he had already lost the cycle), he turned it outwards, guided by the same instinct that allowed him to follow Dan¡¯s guidance so easily yesterday. When his timer signaled the session over and brought him back to his senses, it also signaled the death throes of Sam¡¯s most prominent (if very irrational) worry of the morning. He was just as good at his newly learned gathering techniques today as he was last night when he put them into independent practice for the first time.

    Allowing himself a smile that held more pride than he was used to, he grabbed his things and set out to meet with Sarah. The fact that even just going down the stairs made his sore body react negatively was enough to erase the satisfaction from his face and the happiness from his mind. Although, the fact that it wasn¡¯t that bad¡ªnot as bad as it was yesterday, and certainly not as bad as some days from his previous life¡ªwas enough to settle his mood on, at the very least, cautiously optimistic.

    Sarah was already waiting for him outside. It seemed as though every weekday they were alternating between who was the one to wait for the other. Sam hoped that was unintentional and not a conscious decision by Sarah in order to appear less concerned with Sam. He only held a small hope, though, as he was pretty much always there at the same time.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± he greeted Sarah.

    ¡°Good morning.¡± She smiled at him and started walking towards the gym. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Sure you don¡¯t want to further limit that question¡¯s parameters?¡±

    ¡°Sam.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m kidding, I¡¯m kidding. I¡¯m feeling fine. Physically, a little sore, but hopefully, nothing that will prevent you from abusing me today as well.¡±

    ¡°Abusing you? Is that what I¡¯ve been doing in the last two weeks?¡±

    ¡°Well, not during the last week, no. That¡¯s the whole point of why we¡¯re changing the workouts¡¯ difficulty, after all.¡±

    ¡°OK, so when you¡¯re having a hard time, it means I¡¯m abusing you. But after you get used to it, when it stops being hard, it also stops counting as abuse?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much. The only correction I¡¯d make is to say that I¡¯m always having a hard time, and it¡¯s just a question of whether it¡¯s very hard or just regular hard. But don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m talking about abuse in the most Montaignest of ways. As in it being a very positive event, necessary for me becoming who I want to be as an adult.¡±

    ¡°Is it just me or are you more prone to name dropping in the morning?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just you. As a wannabe Heideggerian I am always trying to insert dead philosophers into my conversations, no matter the time of day.¡±

    ¡°As long as you¡¯re not trying to insert any modern-day politicians. I think Felix had more than his fill of that yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Eh¡­ It¡¯s not as fun to joke about politicians when they no longer have the power to ruin your life and make your world an apocalyptic¡ªor even worse, totalitarian¡ªshithole. Plus, I don¡¯t know anything about any modern day politicians.¡±

    ¡°What about Farris?¡±

    ¡°Huh. I suppose he does count as a politician. But in that case, shouldn¡¯t I also count Esther and any other Ruler I¡¯ve heard about as one?

    Sarah shrugged. ¡°Up to you. Most people differentiate between military persons and politicians.¡±

    ¡°Well, there¡¯s definitely a debate to be had there. But why are we hearkening back to yesterday¡¯s discussion when Felix isn¡¯t here to complain about it?¡±

    ¡°Because we¡¯re nice people?¡±

    ¡°Nuh huh. No way. I¡¯m not going to let you put me in the same group as you are when under that specification. I care about you way too much to let you disparage yourself like that.¡±

    She smiled. ¡°I could say the same thing about what you just said.¡±

    ¡°You could. But then I¡¯d have to call you out as a dirty liar¡­ Which might actually bring you down a notch¡ªif we¡¯re taking a deontological position¡ªand make the argument a moot one.¡±

    ¡°Oh god,¡± Felix said with a groan, as he and Yvessa joined them. ¡°He¡¯s already droning about philosophy?¡±

    Sam clapped him on his shoulder. ¡°That was a one and done. Just wanted to get it all out of my system before we met up.¡±

    ¡°How nice of you¡­¡±

    ¡°It really is.¡±

    Yvessa gestured at the building. ¡°Let¡¯s head in? If we really are trying to stop wasting so much time in pointless conversation.¡± Sam gave her a thumb ups from behind Felix¡¯s back and in they went.

    ¡°So, no complaining today, then, Sam?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°No, sir.¡±

    ¡°I guess yesterday wasn¡¯t that hard after all?¡±

    ¡°You were there, asshole; you saw me coming apart at the seams, didn¡¯t you? Not to mention that Sarah had to help me up the fucking stairs again. You know how humiliating that would have been for a regular, self-respecting person to be seen like that twice in two weeks?¡±

    ¡°Of course I don¡¯t. I¡¯m so far removed from that happening to me that even the theoretical scenario is impossible for someone as amazing as me to imagine.¡±

    ¡°God, I hope you get your legs broken before we finish our studies. I¡¯ll be so nice and caring to you that you¡¯ll want to vomit.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to imply something about Sarah?¡±

    ¡°I wish I was. She wouldn¡¯t princess carry me, you know?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. We call it royal carry nowadays.¡±

    ¡°Ugh¡­ how far will PC culture go? Now we can¡¯t disparage princesses anymore? Is that why you didn¡¯t carry me up the stairs?¡± he asked Sarah.

    She relented to him a half-amused chuckle. ¡°You know very well that it¡¯s not. Plus, don¡¯t be so down on yourself. You were doing much better yesterday than compared to two weeks ago. You barely needed my support.¡±

    Felix clapped him on the shoulder. ¡°Way to go, Sam¡­ Now, if that¡¯s not personal progress, I don¡¯t know what is.¡±

    ¡°How about not needing any help climbing the stairs after a workout at all?¡± Yvessa suggested.

    ¡°She¡¯s got a point. I take my sarcastic comment back.¡±

    Sam would¡¯ve liked to make his own sarcastic comment instead, but remembering his nascent promise to Yvessa, he bit it down so nothing would delay them from starting their warm-up. Their warm-up once again. It seemed that the slight variation between the pre-workout morning routine and the evening routine was not enough to prevent Sarah from enrolling him in the full version of both. Which was really unfair, because today¡¯s warm-up was way harder than yesterday¡¯s. Although that might¡¯ve been just his subjectivity making the comparison; not taking into account how his fatigued body might impact his judgment.

    Thankfully, the workout itself, despite also increasing in difficulty, was easier on Sam¡¯s body than yesterday¡¯s exertion. Or, it could¡¯ve been, once again, just his own prejudices talking. He always had the hardest time with cardio training, after all. Sitting up from his last repetition of the set, he looked to find Felix resting next to him, having finished the very same number of identical motions (although, the number of his sets and, much more importantly, the weight for each one, was way beyond Sam¡¯s current capabilities).

    Felix smirked at him¡ªhis friendly-jovial smirk, not his friendly-sarcastic one. ¡°So,¡± he said, ¡°how does our fair prince fare against this new hardship under the light of day?¡±

    Sam returned his own smirk. ¡°Took you long to come up with that?¡±

    ¡°All of the last set. The exhilaration I felt putting ¡®fair¡¯ and ¡®fare¡¯ together in the same sentence almost made me throw up the barbell.¡±

    ¡°And what a worthwhile trade that would¡¯ve been. Strike that. I¡¯d say it would be no trade at all if the weights managed to fly far enough to hit your legs.¡±

    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    ¡°I think you¡¯re better off waiting until you¡¯re strong enough to royal carry me in order to fully capitalize on such a ludicrous occurrence. Didn¡¯t answer my question though¡­¡±

    ¡°Sarah put you on some sort of Sam watch duty?¡±

    Felix nodded with a grunt as he laid back down on the bench. ¡°Of a sort. She thought that you¡¯d be more honest if the question came from either me or Yvessa, who ¡®lost¡¯ the coin flip. Still, you¡¯re looking less ragged than yesterday. Would I be correct to say today¡¯s easier?¡±

    Sam nodded before realizing that Felix couldn¡¯t see him. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s a fair assessment. I was just thinking about how I always had an easier time with lifting weights when compared to running. You get breaks in between. You can do it in a controlled environment. But most importantly, the increase in difficulty feels more gradual.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Felix said before taking a drink from his bottle. ¡°I can see how that makes sense. Alright, c¡¯mon now, chop-chop, you¡¯ve got your next sets to get to, no?¡±

    Sam gave him a middle finger but still got up to go fetch some of the heavier than a week ago, but still rarely used dumbbells. More than half an hour later, with the weights portion of the workout behind him, Sam was reconsidering his position on today¡¯s relative ease. If I knew how much pain I was going to be feeling right now, it would¡¯ve been way harder to get up in the morning. He crashed down next to Felix and Yvessa. Thankfully, Sarah allowed him a longer break before the last stretch of his routine in the form of waiting on the two to finish their own weightlifting routine. Sarah, in turn, was off doing her own longer routine, one that ensured they only had to wait on her for only five minutes on average, after taking into account her short showers and Felix¡¯s long ones.

    ¡°Cone to think of it,¡± Sam said. ¡°I never asked you why you guys never work out as hard as Sarah.¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°We don¡¯t need to¡­ For our age and level, we¡¯re already performing in the top percentile in all categories.¡±

    ¡°All categories?¡±

    ¡°For academy cadets. Obviously, if we¡¯re going to go up against specialized athletes, we won¡¯t necessarily be at the top.¡±

    ¡°And,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°if it¡¯s swimming, Felix¡¯s will also be way below at the bottom.¡±

    ¡°Swimming, really?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Yeah, so what? I don¡¯t like swimming,¡± Felix said. ¡°I have also never ridden a horse or tried pole vaulting. I don¡¯t need to do any of those things as a solider, right?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to know how to swim?¡±

    ¡°I know how to swim, and that¡¯s probably not even necessary for most front-worlds. There¡¯s a reason the entirety Terran Republic Navy is solely under the jurisdiction of Home Command.¡±

    ¡°God, I how love when people try to explain to me what they see as common knowledge by saying the reason for that is common knowledge.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°My bad. You got what I¡¯m saying, though.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because I already knew about Sea Watch. So you¡¯re saying the reason why Sarah is working out harder than you is because she¡¯s a year older and a level higher?¡±

    ¡°Nope. The reason is that she¡¯s a fitness junkie.¡±

    ¡°All of you are fitness junkies. You¡¯re working out at least twelve times a week. You¡¯re probably spending more than an entire day¡¯s worth of time every week doing physical exercise in some fashion.¡±

    ¡°Sure. But we don¡¯t enjoy it as much as Sarah does. At least, I don¡¯t. I¡¯ll never speak for Yvessa, of course.¡±

    She rolled her eyes at him. ¡°Way too late. Plus, I enjoy physical exercise for exercise¡¯s sake even less than you do. Once I can, I¡¯ll just be skipping it completely.¡±

    ¡°You can do that?¡± Sam asked, eyes twinkling.

    ¡°Rulers can do that,¡± Felix said. ¡°For regular high levels, the ability to no longer need to work out, and still maintain top combat shape, is much less assured. A lot of complex patterns are required in order to make that a reality.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s my hopes dashed then.¡±

    Yvessa chuckled. ¡°You were hoping that it was a simple level 3 pattern and the only reason Sarah skipped it was because she loves working out?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ no. But that would¡¯ve been a good dream to have, for the five seconds of its lifetime. Still, if we¡¯re already dreaming, then why not wish for a way out in half a year, when I can finally imprint, instead of in two-and-a-half years when I¡¯ll be level 3?¡±

    ¡°Man¡­¡± Felix said, ¡°if you actually managed to hit level 3 in two-and-a-half years, that¡¯d gotta be some kind of record.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not,¡± Sam and Yvessa said at the same time. ¡°The first Taken always had the Harots they killed to take energy from,¡± Yvessa explained.

    ¡°Right¡­¡± Felix nodded before giving Sam a thumbs up. ¡°Good for you, learning stuff that isn¡¯t common knowledge.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t accept that compliment, I¡¯m afraid,¡± Sam said. ¡°I only learned that stuff during an anxious spiral. Wanted to see how those that came before me matched up to me.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m willing to bet none of them had to work out as hard as you after only two weeks of having their new bodies.¡±

    ¡°They were dropped into a war¡­¡±

    ¡°Eh¡­ I know from personal experience and public military reports that plenty of soldiers, even very skilled ones, don¡¯t exercise as much as they should. Plus, stop being such a sourpuss. You managed the new workouts just fine, right?¡±

    ¡°Not yet,¡± Yvessa said as she stood up. ¡°C¡¯mon, Sam, let¡¯s go. There¡¯s still abdomen and stenches to do before you can pat yourself on the back.¡± Sam sighed and followed her.

    Some time later, with his own workout done and Felix¡¯s and Yvessa¡¯s on the last leg of theirs, he left them to go grab a shower. Hopefully, one that will somehow manage to do away with the pain his body was feeling. I¡¯m taking it all back, he inwardly moaned as he stepped under the hot water. Today was just as hard as yesterday. Fucking bullshit. Can¡¯t believe I let myself think that today wasn¡¯t going to be as hard as I feared. Always with the same fucking conceit. Ugh¡­ and of course, even if I managed everything today, it just pushes the ball of worry to tomorrow. And it¡¯ll be like that all the way to the end of the week. If we¡¯re optimistic. If not, we might as well just keep it rolling all the way to next week; nursing the anxiety until it¡¯ll be time for me to go up a physical notch again.

    Then again¡­ this shower makes the whole bloody workout almost feel worth it. He reclined against the wall, legs begging him to let them rest. Almost. He sighed. A regular timed shower later, and he could finally let his legs have their vaunted respite as he sat down on a bench outside of the gym building. Back to the grind, he thought as he took out his phone and donned his headphones. He was making headway, even with the hectic schedule of last week. To be fair, it was more the schedule¡¯s existence that prevented him from dedicating as much time to his playlist duty as before, rather than its so-called hecticness. As Sam was reluctant to make use of his now fully sorted leisure time for such a ¡°low cost activity.¡± Preferring to keep it for times such as these, when he didn¡¯t have much time to embark on something that could be categorized as ¡°better to do.¡±

    Some time later, he looked up as Yvessa set next to him. ¡°Have you passed a thousand already?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yep, last Friday. But progress has been slowing down.¡±

    ¡°Look on the bright side. You also have these two-and-a-half years to make up your playlist. Plenty of time to finish the job.¡±

    ¡°Well, one never finishes working on their playlist. But I¡¯m hoping that I¡¯ll be able to finish restoring it way before that mark. Why only two-and-a-half years, though? We don¡¯t have internet during Military Training?¡±

    ¡°Whenever we¡¯re not at the front, we¡¯re going to be training for deployment there.¡±

    ¡°So?¡±

    She stared at him for a couple of seconds before shrugging. ¡°They¡¯ll take our phones for the entire first two months of training, except for an hour on the weekend. And even afterwards, for at least a couple of months, our access to electronic devices will be greatly curtailed.¡±

    ¡°Damn¡­ I knew there was a reason I kept repressing the thought of what happens after the academy. That might actually prove to be the hardest challenge I¡¯m going to have to face.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll make it through.¡±

    ¡°Maybe I will, but what about you? If we do end up there at the same time, that¡¯ll mean that I¡¯m going to use you and Felix as entertainment substitutes.¡±

    ¡°As opposed to what you¡¯re doing now? Wasn¡¯t it exactly two weeks ago when you had me accompany you to your dorm for that very reason?¡±

    ¡°It sure was. Now think if that was every free moment of your day¡­¡±

    ¡°I shudder at the thought.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Felix asked as he sat down to join them as well¡ªgood thing they made the benches here larger than Sam was used to. ¡°Did he go back to making jokes about the two of us as a couple?¡±

    Sam guffawed. ¡°What a preposterous claim! I stopped making those kinds of jibes ages ago.¡±

    ¡°About a week, but OK.¡±

    ¡°Almost half of my life.¡±

    ¡°Sam was just telling me about the dread fate that awaits the two of us during Military Training,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°How we¡¯ll be the sole source of entertainment available to him when phones won¡¯t be allowed.¡±

    ¡°What? Can¡¯t you read books?¡± Felix asked Sam.

    ¡°Well she said that all electronic devices will be under curfew. And I¡¯m way too opinionated on the subject to allow myself to crawl back to physical books.¡±

    ¡°What about all the textbooks?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s different.¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°In the same way that I have no problem spending three hours staring at the PC, reading some wish-fulfillment webnovel with a protagonist who thinks way too much of himself, all in one session, and for five days of the week. But I have to force myself to spend an hour reading the few measly articles required for my university courses in the following week. An hour that, by the way, should be taking much longer, but I¡¯m not strong enough to force myself to read properly.¡±

    ¡°You seem to be doing fine with the textbooks so far,¡± Yvessa remarked.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ Let¡¯s just go with the explanation least positive towards myself and say that I find the current material, on average, more interesting than reading modern critiques of Weber¡¯s theory of leadership.¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Felix groaned. ¡°I thought you got it all out of your system already. One fucking day without name dropping, Sam. Is that too much to ask?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ But look at it this way. By the time we start our Military Training and the name dropping doctrine really intensifies, you¡¯ll be way more familiar with the names being dropped.¡±

    ¡°Oh great. It¡¯d be like I have evolved to be immune to radiation because I had so many nuclear bombs dropped on me.¡±

    ¡°Sounds like a good deal to me.¡±

    ¡°In that analogy,¡± Yvessa started, ¡°will you also become radioactive yourself? So that because of Sam, people will stay away from you?¡±

    ¡°It does now!¡± Sam nodded.

    ¡°I have got to make some new friends,¡± Felix murmured.

    ¡°You could also get Sam some new friends,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Maybe so. Ah, and here comes one just now.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s already his friend. And she won¡¯t help you because she won¡¯t be there with us.¡±

    ¡°Why are all of you just staring at me?¡± Sarah asked from above them.

    ¡°A better question,¡± Sam said, ¡°is why we just let you walk over here without getting up, as would be polite.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re still not getting up.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ I¡¯m weary and in pain. I don¡¯t know what these twos¡¯ excuse is.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon ¡®weary and in pain,¡¯¡± Felix said as he got up. ¡°Let¡¯s go grab you some food and us some quiet time.¡±

    Felix only got half of his wish, and through no fault of Sam. Well, no direct fault of Sam. Sarah spent most of breakfast lecturing Sam on the none-magical, yet still practical, aspects of cultivating. Both Yvessa and Felix joined the conversation with their own tips and details of their personal practice as well. ¡°So,¡± Sam said once he finished eating, ¡°overall, there isn¡¯t all that much difference between seekers and holders?¡±

    ¡°Not in your day-to-day gathering, no,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°If you¡¯re not trying anything new, and you¡¯re just as good with your holding technique as someone using an equal seeking technique, your first stage will be roughly identical to them. The difference comes out when you¡¯re trying to improve your techniques themselves; moving on to other more complex techniques and so on.¡±

    ¡°But aren¡¯t I constantly training in gathering by seeking, simply by¡­ gathering that way?¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Felix said, ¡°but it¡¯s the difference between becoming a better artist by doodling for fun and actively trying to become better by learning about shading and color composition. It¡¯s the difference between improving in doing something due to sheer rote repetition and due to putting your foot down and consciously trying to improve.¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°Plus, you won¡¯t keep using the same basic technique you¡¯re using now. Practicing it for ten years might make you a master at using it, but it will take much longer to make you level 8. And it will only provide auxiliary help when you¡¯re trying to advance to other, more complex techniques.¡±

    ¡°Well I don¡¯t think advancing to any other technique is in the cards for me anytime soon,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Not until you hit level 1,¡± Sarah agreed. ¡°Dan will probably introduce some small changes, derivatives, to your technique when it becomes appropriate. But it¡¯ll still be pretty much the same seeking and excavating technique.¡±

    ¡°So your level has something to do with how complex a method you can use for gathering?¡±

    ¡°Not at all. But as long as your core is solid, using any more advanced technique will be pretty hard. So better stay with the fundamentals and use that time for something else.¡±

    ¡°Is that you talking, or common sense?¡±

    ¡°Both. But if you don¡¯t trust me, ask Dan.¡±

    ¡°I trust you,¡± he assured her. And he did. The fact that he asked Dan for his own take on the subject, twenty minutes later, had nothing to do with his confidence in Sarah and all to do with his anxiety-prone personality seeking to find multiple sources of confirmation and approval for every future action. Dan agreed with Sarah¡¯s words, both that it was common sense to wait until your core becomes fragmented before moving on to any other gathering technique, and also that that was the plan for Sam.

    ¡°Besides,¡± Dan said, ¡°you still have plenty to improve in with the fundamental techniques. Don¡¯t think that just because you¡¯re natural at seeking that your current application of it isn¡¯t anything more than abysmal. We still have a long way to go before the day in which, even were you level 1, we could advance you to other techniques. Especially since I want to finish our lessons¡¯ focus on gathering in another two or three weeks, then going down to practicing gathering together only on two days of the week.¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t that lower the chances of me making level 1 by the year¡¯s end?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. But I already took that into consideration making your schedule. As long as you stick to cultivating during your ¡®free time¡¯ in the same vigor as in our time together, you should be more than fine. In any case, we¡¯ll be checking your progress at regular intervals and will adjust accordingly, if necessary.¡±

    Sam nodded sullenly. Yep, no one else to blame if you end up fucking up but yourself.

 Chapter 70

    It was his last workout of the week, and Sam¡¯s psyche was filled with triumphal joy. He did it. He managed to make it through the whole week, fully following Sarah¡¯s new routine. Six days of the torturous and will testing regimen were behind him. The next week was bound to be easier. Both on his body and on his mind. At least that¡¯s what he told himself as he struggled with the penultimate plank of the workout. When it came the last one¡¯s turn, his mind turned to visions of hot showers followed by nestling his butt into a cushioned sit. This vision was, in turn, replaced during his stretching by the stark reminder of the fact that physical activity awaited him tomorrow as well.

    And while his lessons with Lin did not carry an increased physical burden, they also did not lessen in theirs like Sarah said she and Lin agreed to if it might be necessary in order to facilitate Sam¡¯s acclimation to the new routine. Instead, they carried on just as before. Only this week, equal time was allocated to training in thrusting, stabbing, and footwork each. True, the current composition did result in a lesson that was less physically demanding on Sam¡¯s body than some of his past lessons with Lin. And true, Sam was the one that didn¡¯t raise the possibility of taking it easier on himself to Lin. But neither of those truths had any effect on the truth value of a third, also truthful statement. Sam was still going to complain about this state of affairs. Inwardly, at least. He had enough of complaining to his friends about his sore body and mentally stretched mind.

    No, he thought as he got up with a groan and made his way towards the showers. Now is the time for rejoicing. We¡¯ll finish this week on a strong note. No bellyaching of any kind.

    And he would¡¯ve gotten away with keeping true to his promise if it wasn¡¯t for a call that came just as he and Yvessa finished with breakfast the following day. ¡°Hello?¡± he answered the private number.

    ¡°Sam Anders?¡± came a direct and professional voice, although Sam thought that he could sense a faint tremor in it.

    ¡°The one, and fortunately only. Who is this, and how may I help?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m from Web Communication here on campus. You have an urgent, non-emergency call from¡­ General Farris Ninae in Maynil. Am I to tell him you are on your way?¡±

    ¡°Ugh¡­ yeah, sure. I¡¯ll be right there.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    The call disconnected, and Sam started dumbly at Yvessa. ¡°What?¡± she asked. ¡°Who was it?¡±

    ¡°Some guy from¡­ Web Communication? Is that a real thing?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s where I where I call back home every second Monday. So who¡¯s calling you?¡±

    ¡°Farris.¡±

    ¡°Right, that makes sense. Come on, I¡¯ll show you where it is.¡±

    Sam got up to follow her. ¡°Sure that you¡¯ve got the time? I mean, you¡¯ve already been helping me with elven history.¡±

    She snorted. ¡°Helping is too big a word for what this was.¡±

    Sam shrugged. He thought the same as her, but he wasn¡¯t going to verbally downplay her using her own time for his sake. Even if her ¡°help¡± was just meeting with him for breakfast and using that time to go over some of what Sam read in the textbooks during the last two weeks. ¡°If you¡¯re sure.¡±

    She nodded as she led him out of the mess hall. ¡°So did they tell you what the call was about?¡±

    ¡°Just that it was urgent but non-emergency, whatever that means.¡±

    ¡°It means that it¡¯s not really urgent. Farris¡¯ rank makes all of his calls urgent by default; highest priority.¡±

    ¡°What does highest priority entail?¡±

    ¡°That he can keep the connection going for as long as he wants, even if it prevents other pre-scheduled calls from taking place. That they¡¯ll cut off another call for his. Although they probably won¡¯t do that if his call is not actually an emergency. But they will definitely move his to first in the queue.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a queue?¡±

    ¡°Depending on the day and on the time of day. And most importantly, the place. For example, while the facility here on campus is pretty small, only six lines, because there¡¯s not much call for inter-world communication, I¡¯ve never seen them full.¡±

    ¡°Six lines? That¡¯s it?¡±

    ¡°Maintaining even a single line is pretty expensive.¡±

    ¡°Really? How exactly does it work that makes it so expensive?¡±

    Yvessa furrowed her brows and tilted her head before muttering, ¡°Ah. Right, you¡¯ve never seen it before. It¡¯s not something¡­ technological. We¡¯re not calling anyone on the phone or the internet or anything. It¡¯s built using a very complex to create and maintain formation. And the only role of the formation here on campus is to connect to the major formation in Transit, where the actual communication with other worlds takes place.¡±

    Sam scratched his head. ¡°Oh, so it¡¯s magic. Should¡¯ve figured out that¡¯d be like that. Good to know that¡¯s the kind of stuff formations are used for¡­¡±

    The academy only had two mandatory courses on formations¡ªto contrast with the nine on patterns¡ªand both of them were way off in the third year. Even though he understood Dan¡¯s basic explanation of what formations were: Any combination of patterns linked together for a common function and imprinted on inorganic material. Basically, they all artifacts were made with formations, but not all formations were artifacts usually static. Which didn¡¯t really help Sam understand what formations were, because he still didn¡¯t really understand what artifacts were.

    ¡°Formations can be used for a lot of things,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°At the end of the day, they¡¯re just patterns working in unison to execute a certain effect or effects. So they can, for example, be used for everything that a pattern is used for.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I still don¡¯t really know a whole lot about what patterns are used for, you know?¡±

    ¡°Then you don¡¯t need to worry even a little bit about formations. Especially not like those used for inter-world communication. Both of them, the one here on campus and in Transit, are of Reshan make. So they¡¯re way more complex than your average formation. Basically, the only thing we know about them is how to replicate and maintain them. And the only reason for that is the Reshan explicitly wrote us instructions on how to do that.¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­ the Reshan again. Bastards got their grubby hands in everything, I see.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re adopting Sarah¡¯s distaste for them?¡± Yvessa chuckled. ¡°Imprinting yourself after her?¡±

    ¡°Nah, I just call it as I see it.¡± And I have my own prejudices to guide me in hating on the Reshan, thank you very much. ¡°So why not just call off-world via a video call or something, though? Way I understood it, is that the internet is pretty much the same for everyone.¡±

    ¡°It is the same, sure, but the internet is still widely seen as Terran. Elves use the internet the most after us, but still not anywhere near as much as we do. I think that only about two-fifths of all people on Larsus use it daily, to show you the difference. But the main reasons for digital methods not replacing the formations are security concerns and lag.¡±

    ¡°Lag? With the portals, the cable distance between Transit and Larsus can¡¯t be that large.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know anything about that. But it¡¯s the portals themselves that cause a delay.¡±

    ¡°Why? I thought the teleportation was instantaneous.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t think anyone figured that one out yet. And it¡¯s not like we really understand how the portals even work.¡±

    ¡°Rulers do, surely. If they can open their own exit portal everywhere they want.¡±

    ¡°I suppose so¡­ But not all of them, I assure you. There¡¯s plenty of¡­ theory-dumb Rulers out there.¡±

    ¡°People that lucked out, then? Like Thread-Weavers?¡± Sam smiled.

    ¡°Are you poking fun at you or at Farris?¡±

    ¡°I was thinking of me. Farris doesn¡¯t strike me as the type to forgo deeper understand of his abilities.¡±

    ¡°He isn¡¯t. And you don¡¯t strike me as one either.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s nice of you to say, but you should probably wait until I actually have any abilities to understand. Not that I¡¯m complaining about anything, mind you. I¡¯m just stating a fact. Not passing judgment upon it.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ you¡¯re still on that.¡±

    ¡°Correct, all the way until tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°And all that moaning you just did fifteen minutes ago, about the Appalith Civil War, wasn¡¯t complaining?¡±

    ¡°I should think not! First, because even if I was complaining, it wasn¡¯t to do with anything about my personal conduct and life, which was really the type of complaining I forswore yesterday. But more important, I don¡¯t think I was complaining at all. I was just pointing out the fact that the historical event proceeding the fall of the Later Appalith Empire didn¡¯t deserve the moniker ¡®civil war.¡¯ Way too civil¡ª¡±

    ¡°¡®Not enough war.¡¯ I remember. We were just talking about that.¡±

    ¡°I rest my case.¡± He spread his hands forward.

    ¡°I still think that it counts as complaining.¡±

    ¡°Maybe slightly. I¡¯ll grant you that it was a minor grumble.¡±

    ¡°A minor grumble? And where does that term slot into your terminology of whether one is acting like a little bitch or a regular bitch?¡±

    ¡°Lesser than even a little bitch. One encounters out in the world a state of things with which one isn¡¯t happy with. But one doesn¡¯t care all that much about it or about changing it, and one just wants to point out that the state of affairs isn¡¯t correct. Also, very well done on remembering my bullshit after all this time¡­ That¡¯s way more commitment to talking what I say seriously than I¡¯m used to.¡±

    ¡°Hard to forget when it¡¯s one of the very first things you said to me.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ is that so? It¡¯s funny, but I¡¯m thinking of my past-life relationships, trying to remember what the first thing I or the other person said to me, and I can¡¯t really recall.¡±

    ¡°Can you recall the first thing I said to you when we first met?¡±

    ¡°No¡­?¡±

    ¡°Maybe that¡¯s cause for self-introspection.¡± She pursed her lips.

    ¡°Wait a moment¡­ didn¡¯t you say something in Sarechi that I couldn¡¯t understand yet at the time?¡±

    ¡°Who knows¡­¡±

    ¡°You do! And so do I, now. And, yeah, you did definitely did.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not complaining about anything, are you?¡±

    ¡°No. I think that if there¡¯s one of us who gets to complain about the other¡¯s conduct during the first day of our acquaintanceship, it¡¯s not me.¡±

    ¡°Nicely said.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. My social graces have come a long way in these last two weeks. I¡¯m practically almost a bearable person now. And speaking of coming a long way¡­¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re almost there. It¡¯s the building over there.¡± She pointed towards a fenced perimeter, guarding¡ªand being actively guarded by fatigues wearing soldiers¡ªa structure alien to both the rest of the campus¡¯ architecture and layout. It was only the one floor (the shortest building Sam saw up till today still had two more floors to this one) and from Sam¡¯s point of view it looked like a block of concrete made manifest into a half a circle, so it ended up taking a lot of space while seemingly not capitalizing on much of that space. Its design was a little prettier than just that, though, although not by much, and not anywhere close to the beautiful blend of military utilitarianism and modern high-education institution that all the other buildings on campus sported.

    ¡°Why the extra security?¡± he asked Yvessa, deciding to focus on the only unique aspect of the building that actually interested him.

    ¡°The Web Communications unit is technically not under the academy¡¯s jurisdiction, so not under the purview of campus security as well. That¡¯s the bureaucratic explanation, which in my opinion is the main reason. But, if you want the official reasoning, it¡¯s pretty much just that the formations are important enough that they deserve their own guard.¡±

    ¡°That latter reason sounds like bullshit. That one building is worth more than a couple of thousands of the Terran Republic¡¯s best and brightest?¡±

    ¡°Exactly¡­ So, what do you think Farris wants to talk to you about?¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°I have no idea. You¡¯ve got just as much chance as me of guessing correctly, maybe even more. Want to come in with me and find out?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t invited.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon, it¡¯s Farris. The dude¡¯ll probably appreciate having a larger audience. Worst-case scenario, he¡¯ll just shoo you off once he sees you.¡±

    ¡°Worst case? I think Farris¡¯ attitude towards you has given you a skewed impression of the man and the military hierarchy he represents.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± he asked, just as they were approached by one of the guards.

    ¡°Name?¡± she asked the two of them.

    ¡°Sam Anders and Yvessa Smith. I¡­ got a call?¡±

    The guard looked back to the lieutenant on duty, who nodded. ¡°Alright, you can go in.¡±

    Once of earshot, Sam turned to Yvessa. ¡°Weird security measure, no? They ask our names but don¡¯t check our IDs for confirmations.¡±

    ¡°They checked our faces. Probably had no no need for the software, with how regularly I come here and how famous yours has been of late.¡±

    ¡°Ugh¡­ don¡¯t remind me. Weren¡¯t you the one who said that it wasn¡¯t that big of a deal?¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t. I was just joking right now. They probably just recognized me and had a picture of you already up on the screen, to usher you in the moment you got here.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ neat. So, you coming with me, after all?¡±

    She sighed. ¡°I might as well, if I already accompanied you all this way. Make sure that you represent the republic well in front of Farris.¡±

    ¡°A bit too late for that, don¡¯t you think?¡±

    ¡°Of course. But that¡¯s the excuse I¡¯m going with.¡±

    Inside the building, they found themselves in a rather small waiting room and reception area. Only twelve sits, all of them were currently empty. ¡°A little on the small side, no?¡± Sam whispered to Yvessa.

    ¡°The calls are almost always by appointment, and they¡¯re very strict on time¡ªfor most people¡ªno much reason to be sitting and waiting.¡±

    Before they even made it to the receptionist, a major came rushing in through one of the side doors and intercepted them. He nodded to Yvessa, evidently in recognition, before turning to Sam. ¡°This way please, Mr. Anders. I¡¯ll show you to your room.¡±

    Sam tilted his head at Yvessa in question. ¡°Room?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    He shrugged and followed the major through the double doors at the back of the reception area and into a half circular empty hall with six doors at equal intervals from one another. They followed the major to the rightmost one. ¡°It¡¯ll only take us twenty seconds or so to reconnect the call,¡± the major said as the door closed behind them, leaving them alone in a room even emptier than the hall they just left.

    Sam looked around in confusion. The walls and floor were devoid of any color or pattern. ¡°That¡¯s it? Where are all the formations?¡± he asked Yvessa.

    ¡°Underground. The call rooms are made to look as uniform and sterile as possible.¡±

    ¡°Well they did a bang-up job. So how does this work? Do we just¡ª¡±

    Without even a flash of light to signify that anything magical had happened, something magical had happened. Farris appeared before them, hands clasped beneath his chin and sitting behind a beautifully carved (such that even Sam could recognize its aesthetic value) wooden desk. Besides Farris, the rest of the image appeared¡­ blurry. Sam was barely able to discern that the silhouette on the right side of the desk was a computer monitor, but he couldn¡¯t even get the sense of what color the walls behind Farris were.

    His mentor himself, though, was coming through crystal clear. With bright eyes and mouth curving upwards, the quintessential Farris smile. ¡°My my,¡± he said, ¡°if I knew this was an order one get one free type of deal, I would¡¯ve ordered two of you so that I could get the entire set of the Prodigious Young Terrans Collection.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa was helping me with my studies when your call came through. And she offered to show me the way here. So I figured that if she already came all the way here, then she might as well pop in to say hello and make sure that I don¡¯t say anything that could cause a diplomatic incident.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ a bit late for that, don¡¯t you think?¡±

    ¡°Of course. That was just the excuse I used to convince her. The real reason is that I want her to stay so that she could accompany back to my dorm.¡±

    Yvessa raised an eyebrow. ¡°That seems unfair. Why can¡¯t you accompany me to my dorm instead?¡±

    ¡°Yours doesn¡¯t seem to me as efficient an act as the other way. What with me being a utility monster and all. But we can talk about that later, alright? After all, we¡¯re on the clock, aren¡¯t we?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m on the clock,¡± Farris said. ¡°You can rest worry free knowing that I can keep this call going for as long as I want to.¡±

    ¡°And how long is that?¡±

    ¡°That depends on you. And Yvessa, I guess. Whether you¡¯re here as a participant or strictly as an observer.¡±

    ¡°That depends on you,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°What did you want to talk to Sam about?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. I assume that in the case I was calling just to talk about Terran history, that you will up and leave?¡±

    ¡°You assume correctly.¡±

    ¡°Fear not then. This is a professional call first and foremost. And you¡¯re more than free to either observe or participate in it, if you wish. As long as Sam is comfortable with you being here, of course.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°I can¡¯t think of a single thing that I will be comfortable talking to you about, but uncomfortable talking to Yvessa. Also, can we get this over with? I feel weird standing here talking to you while you¡¯re sitting there all smug like.¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    Farris spread his hands wide. ¡°Then by all means, take a sit.¡±

    ¡°How will that be any better for your smugness?¡±

    ¡°Try it and see, Sam,¡± Yvessa said, as she sat down with her legs crossed.

    Sam followed her example and, once fully seated, looked up from the ground to find himself still at eye level with Farris, as though his floor was the same height as Farris¡¯ chair. No, even higher, seeing as he was staring Farris squarely in the eyes despite Farris being taller than him. ¡°So I¡¯m guessing that this is part of the magic?¡±

    ¡°Rather an easy guess to make,¡± Farris said, ¡°all considering. And you¡¯d be correct. The inter-world communication formations make it so that the people on opposite sides of the call will always be talking eye to eye.¡±

    Sam turned to the slightly shorter woman sitting next to him. ¡°So you¡¯re seeing him like that as well? Both of our subjective experiences are modified?¡± She nodded. ¡°Cool. Raising a lot of questions, but cool nonetheless.¡±

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Farris said. ¡°So, are you ready to get down to business?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡ªwait, on another thought, I have two more questions about this call thing before we begin.¡±

    ¡°Par for the course. Go a head, then.¡±

    ¡°The snark might be deserving but it¡¯s not necessary at all. For the first question: are we being recorded?¡±

    ¡°No.

    ¡°Because¡ª¡±

    ¡°Not just because of me, no. First, if you¡¯re allowed to use this method of communication, then you¡¯re probably not deserving of having your privacy violated. But second and foremost, you can¡¯t record magic. Visually at least. Sound works differently, but I don¡¯t want to get into a whole physics lecture. Let¡¯s just say that the way these formations work, make it so that the only way for someone to record what we talk about is to be here with us and write it down.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Then my second question is, how come you get one of those formations in what I can only assume is your own office? While we have to walk all the way to this empty room?¡±

    Farris sighed lightheartedly. ¡°Now now Sam, how many times have I already told you not to ask me anything about threads?¡±

    Sam groaned. ¡°Fucking hell. So it has something to do with you being a Ruler, got it.¡± He turned to Yvessa. ¡°Right?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Yeah, Rulers can¡­ I don¡¯t know, connect to the formation on their own, I guess, so they don¡¯t need to be physically in the room.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s what,¡± Sam asked Farris, ¡°the sixth clue you gave me to what threads are or what you can do with them while at the same time admonishing me for trying to find out more about them?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know.¡± Farris shrugged. ¡°Keeping count takes all the fun out of it. Anyway, are you finished with your questions? Can we finally move on?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel it¡¯s right to be the sole person blamed for us not getting to the point. But¡­¡± He waved Farris to go ahead.

    ¡°Alright. So, first things first, how are you?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the first thing, really?¡±

    ¡°What else? As your mentor, your wellbeing is at the top of my concerns. And I need to hear your own answer to that question. I can¡¯t just be satisfied based on the reports Dan sends me.¡±

    ¡°Dan sends you reports?¡±

    ¡°Of course. At the end of every week, so only three so far¡ªI asked him to send today¡¯s early. He¡¯s detailing what you did during the week. How far you progressed, in all aspects, mind you. And his analysis of your behavior and state of mind. Pretty basic stuff, but important for me in order to know where you¡¯re at.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Although¡­ I guess I should¡¯ve expected something like that. From him, at least, if not from you. So what do these reports say about my state of mind?¡±

    ¡°That it¡¯s consistent.¡±

    ¡°Consistent what?¡±

    ¡°Consistent over time. Your behavior hasn¡¯t changed all that much in the last three weeks.¡±

    Sam cleared his throat in exasperation. ¡°OK, but what does that mean?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re asking me how have you been feeling in these last three weeks?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m asking you what was Dan¡¯s analysis of how I have been feeling in these last three weeks. And you¡¯re not answering.¡±

    ¡°I wonder why¡­ Oh alright. For all three weeks, Dan concluded that your mental state was stable enough for him to keep engaging you in the same manner that he has been during the preceding week. Read into that what you¡¯d like. What I want to know is how you¡¯re feeling; not how you¡¯re acting when you¡¯re with Dan Ritter or Lin Jingway, and not how much time and effort you¡¯re able to dedicate to your training day in and day out. It¡¯s a simple question, really. Wonder why you keep trying to avoid answering¡­ It doesn¡¯t have anything to do with you having an audience, right?¡±

    ¡°I told you, I can¡¯t think of something that I would be comfortable telling you that I wouldn¡¯t be comfortable telling Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°So this is just you being uncomfortable answering a very simple question in general?¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ I get it. Overall, Dan¡¯s right. I¡¯m doing fine. Pretty much the same as I was two and a half weeks ago when you and I last talked.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not a very satisfactory answer, now is it, Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t try to involve me in whatever this is,¡± she said.

    Farris shrugged and turned back to Sam. ¡°Sam, we both know that you can be way more expressive if you want to. So how about you slide into that mode of yours and actually try to answer my question? Remember, I¡¯m your mentor. Understanding your state of mind is as important from a professional perspective as it is from a personal one, if not more.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ let¡¯s get this over with.¡± Sam rolled his eyes with a sigh. ¡°So in short, the last week has been really hard because I¡¯ve had to increase my exercises¡¯ difficulty. Luckily, this new body of mine made it so I never really had to contend with aftereffects of that change like I¡¯m used to from my old body. First three days of the week were the hardest, especially Tuesday, which was the reason why I woke up the most sore on Wednesday. But that¡¯s pretty much it. Besides the physical exertion I had during the new workouts, there wasn¡¯t really much hardship to contend with overall.¡±

    ¡°Hm hm¡­ Sounds good so far. Congratulations on making it all the way through this week successfully, by the way. I only learned about the change while I was reading the report this morning, but I immediately knew that you¡¯ll manage no problem. Only had to read a little bit ahead to see that I was right.¡±

    ¡°If you already knew, then why are you asking?¡±

    ¡°Because the report didn¡¯t tell me anything about how you felt about last week, besides the fact that you stepped up to the increased physical burden while keeping up with all your other obligations. But most importantly, because I asked how you¡¯re feeling, and you¡¯re the one that decided to pivot to answering purely on the physical challenges you faced during the last week.¡±

    ¡°Well, those were the main points of difference compared to two weeks ago. I told you, besides that, everything pretty much has been the same.¡±

    ¡°So how about the not physical aspects?¡±

    Sam rubbed his eyes. ¡°Farris, are we really going to do that?¡±

    ¡°You tell me.¡±

    ¡°Alright, alright, I get it. Things have been¡­ tough. The mental weight of my day by day and the requirement of my schedule have started becoming more apparent, but I¡¯m handling it fine. I¡¯m being honest when I tell you that I¡¯m feeling roughly the same as two weeks ago. You¡¯re probably going to need to wait until the magic effects run out if you want a different sort of answer.¡±

    ¡°The only sort of answer I want is you telling me the truth, no matter what it is. But, you¡¯re right, I¡¯m willing to concede that we¡¯ve spent enough time on the subject and that indeed, not much has necessarily changed since we last met. So let¡¯s move on to what has changed, shall we? According to Dan¡¯s reports, your spear lessons are proceeding alright?¡±

    ¡°Is that a question? Did he not put into the report asking me that very same question and me telling him that I have no basis on which to judge my progress with combat lessons?¡±

    ¡°He did put that in, yes. But your answer back then doesn¡¯t have to be your answer right now. You¡¯ve had two more weeks of training. Do you feel an improvement?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I guess so. I mean, I had to have improved on some level, right? But it¡¯s not like I¡¯m close to knowing how to fight or anything just yet.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. For what¡¯s it worth, from what I¡¯ve read¡ªDan Ritter reporting to me on what Lin Jingway is reporting to him¡ªyou have nothing to worry about. Besides, knowing how to fight can well enough wait until you¡¯re level 1, at which point you could actually start incorporating some practical magic into your fighting. Yvessa, were you privy to one of Sam¡¯s spearfighting lessons?¡±

    ¡°Only to his complaining about them. Why?¡±

    ¡°Positive reinforcement from multiple sources. I¡¯ve been reading a book on educating young teens with self-confidence issues. And they said it¡¯s very important.¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°You haven¡¯t¡­ have you?¡±

    ¡°He didn¡¯t,¡± Sam said. ¡°He can¡¯t read.¡±

    Farris nodded. ¡°Also, I¡¯m going to have Sam show me what he learned now, so I was worried about having to put you through the same experience twice on the same day.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Sam said, ¡°what do you mean, ¡®show me?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Exactly what it sounds like.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a spear here with me!¡±

    ¡°You can mimic holding one, can¡¯t you? Don¡¯t tell me that you¡¯ve spent all this time on footwork without being able to display it on command.¡±

    Sam sighed and got up with an apologizing look at Yvessa. Who, by the smirk on her face, didn¡¯t seem all that deserving of an apology. Farris was right, of course. By this point, Lin had probably had him train two or three hours on just spearless footwork alone. He assumed the resting stance that Lin kept correcting him on; fidgeting even more than usual, for some unknowable reason. Come to think of it, this is the first time I¡¯m taking Lin¡¯s lessons out of our private training room. Well, I couldn¡¯t ask for a more patronizing, yet supportive, audience.

    ¡°This is the part where Lin would spend a minute or two correcting my posture and positioning¡ªeverything, really¡ªuntil he deemed me good enough to start.¡±

    ¡°You look OK to me,¡± Yvessa said, leaning back on her hands.

    ¡°There is a difference between OK and good, not to mention the much greater gulf between good and perfect,¡± Farris told her. ¡°You¡¯re intimately familiar with all three at this point and the importance of striving ever onwards. So even if¡ªunlike Erianna¡ªyou¡¯ve never trained with the spear, you¡¯re probably more than capable of correcting Sam on some of his mistakes.¡±

    She rolled her eyes at Farris¡¯ conscious uttering of his disruptive thoughts (and his very fake sobbing and drying of his right eye) before standing up and walking to Sam. ¡°You¡¯re not going to help?¡± she asked Farris after satisfying herself of the bending of Sam¡¯s knees.

    ¡°Having his peers help him study was another tip in the book.¡±

    ¡°What were you planning to do if I showed up here alone?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Who said I had any plans for if you showed up by yourself?¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes at the older Thread-Waverer¡¯s wide, self-satisfied smile. ¡°You couldn¡¯t¡­ you didn¡¯t¡­¡±

    ¡°He didn¡¯t,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°He¡¯s just trying to rattle you. It¡¯s a common shtick of his, trying to act like the Silent Seer. Alright, you¡¯re good to go now.¡±

    Sam nodded and started acting out the¡ªwell ingrained by this point¡ªsimple routine Lin had him go through every session for the last two weeks. He tried not to let himself get too distracted by the fact the other two kept talking! This wouldn¡¯t fly back in his sessions with Lin.

    ¡°And how would you know what the Silent Seer acts like?¡± Farris asked Yvessa with a smile.

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s just a common saying. You¡¯re obviously trying to act like you can read the future. Erianna told me some stuff about threads; even a Ruler like you couldn¡¯t have known that I would be with Sam that I would join him just by threads alone. Especially since you¡¯re¡ª¡±

    ¡°Ah ah¡­ please keep in mind Sam¡¯s fragile condition. As a solid but rough gem, we have to take care while polishing, less he shatters instead of fragments.¡±

    ¡°My god,¡± Sam muttered between measured breath, ¡°you¡¯re such an asshole.¡±

    ¡°Focus on your footwork please, Sam. Pay nevermind to what we¡¯re talking about. Especially Yvessa¡¯s blatant spoilers of your future lessons. Matter of fact, disregard everything she just said, lest you come away from this conversation thinking I¡¯ve underplayed the capabilities of the sole deshar Chosen when we first met and thus misrepresented your future role.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± Yvessa asked Farris who just shrugged his shoulders and pointed at Sam, as though he was the one partaking in physical activity that¡¯s best done without talking (although, the other two probably would¡¯ve had no problem talking while showcasing even better footwork than Sam). ¡°Can¡¯t you just tell me? How the hell is Sam supposed to show you what he¡¯s learned if you keep distracting him?¡±

    ¡°Being distracted shouldn¡¯t prevent Sam from showing me what he¡¯s learned. Quite the opposite. It opens to me a whole different angle from which to judge him. Besides, I want to see if he remembers. If our conversations mean as much to him as they do to me.¡±

    Sam barked a laugh and made a very obvious misstep because of that. ¡°He¡¯s talking about his vision for my future or whatever. Me and your best friend, to be more accurate. About how I would be her second in command the same way that what¡¯s her name, the deshar Chosen, is the second in command to his mother.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± Yvessa started, ¡°a very problematic breakdown of the relationship between the Queen Mother and the Silent Seer, let alone the relationship between the kingdom and the Accord as a whole.¡±

    ¡°Your latter point stands, sure,¡± Farris said. ¡°But so does my description of the relationship between the two Chosen. It might not appear so clear cut from where you¡¯re standing. But I promise you, up here, it is. We in the east have the great benefit of having our Chosen operating under an agreed upon and completely linear hierarchy. My mother is first, next comes Devoha and last but of course not least, Bladestorm himself. The problem is that if you have Sam leaving today thinking that Devoha can know the future, that he¡¯ll have to ask himself how come she¡¯s not at the top of the list.¡±

    ¡°What does that matter to Sam?¡±

    ¡°He just told you. I can¡¯t have him entertaining thoughts that I mean for him to rank higher than Erianna when all is said and done. Not yet, at least.¡±

    Sam grunted. ¡°You¡¯re such a bastard.¡±

    Farris smiled. ¡°Maybe so, but I¡¯m willing to bet that I know exactly what you want to ask me next. Go ahead, then.¡±

    ¡°Can I stop?¡±

    ¡°You did that on purpose. And yes, you can. Ask me your real question. I¡¯ll shower your performance with approval after answering it.¡±

    Sam pursed his lips in annoyance before taking a swig from his bottle. If the me of an hour ago knew that he was going to have to exercise again before tomorrow evening, he would¡¯ve been real mad. ¡°Alright,¡± he said as he sat back down next to Yvessa, ¡°so if she doesn¡¯t know the future why do they call her ¡®a Seer?¡¯ And don¡¯t give me any bull about asking about threads before I¡¯m ready in half a year.¡±

    ¡°Rest assured, you¡¯re just as ready now for the answer I¡¯m willing to give as you would be in half a year, or in ten times that period.¡± Farris leaned back and looked at the ceiling. ¡°But, I do have a ready-made answer for that question that I¡¯m quite happy about. Want to hear it?¡±

    ¡°Do I have a choice?¡±

    ¡°Of course. You can turn to you left and ask Yvessa, who will have to shrug and tell you that she doesn¡¯t know. You could go online and have the internet tell you when Devoha first received her nickname, or to be more precise, when it became commonly used. Or you can nod your head silently as I, once again, give you hints about heights you shouldn¡¯t be thinking about reaching just yet.¡±

    Sam turned to Yvessa, who made an active effort to prevent anything like a shrug from coming off of her. ¡°From what I know, the common explanation holds that she made a lot of predictions that turned out correct in the long run. Like that the Pharroy Offensive was going to end in failure, which was why she kept most of the deshar forces in reserve. But, I also remember her being called that before, so I guess either that story is fabricated or that the high ranks don¡¯t put much stock in her nickname.¡±

    ¡°Both of these: false assumptions,¡± Farris said. ¡°But telling you cadets anything more would be an egregious breach of military confidentiality. So, Sam, the reason that Devoha of the Voice is called the Silent Seer is really simple. She decided on that nickname herself and made everyone else call her by it.¡±

    ¡°So neither parts of that nickname are true?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°In a way. In a different way, they are also somewhat true.¡±

    ¡°Are you being trying to drag for time on purpose by being cryptic? If she can¡¯t tell the future, then she¡¯s not a seer. Case should¡¯ve been called an hour ago.¡±

    ¡°Wait until you meet her before you make any assumptions about whether her nickname is deserving. I promise you this, there¡¯s a reason why she feels comfortable calling herself that, and it¡¯s the same reason why even a Chosen like my mother would sometimes call her by that name. The truth of the matter is that no one can know the future, at least no mortal, if you buy into the existence of an omniscient being and all that crap. The best we can do is predict the future, to guess what will happen based on what we know in the present. And when it comes to knowing the present, there is no one more knowledgeable than the Silent Seer.¡±

    ¡°Does her knowledge of the present have something to do with threads?¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡±

    ¡°Does it have something to do with her being a Chosen?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I can¡¯t answer that. Move on?¡±

    Yvessa shrugged, and Sam sighed. ¡°We should¡¯ve done that five minutes ago,¡± he said. ¡°Don¡¯t even know why I let you manipulate me into asking about that. Literally an example of how ¡®fake¡¯ magic is enough to fool people into thinking you can know the future..¡±

    ¡°Splendid! So, your footwork. Pretty good for having only trained for three weeks. And only focusing on footwork as a whole for the latter two of those weeks. From what I¡¯m seeing, Lin Jingway is being a sufficient combat trainer so far. But tell him to record one of your, let¡¯s say Sunday, sessions once every week and send it to me from now on. I won¡¯t watch it personally, mind you, but I¡¯ll have someone I trust fast forward through it.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have it any other way. Even if you weren¡¯t as busy and important as you are.¡±

    ¡°Was that flattery that I just heard?¡±

    ¡°Not really. Self-flattery maybe. As in me thinking of what I would do were I wearing your general¡¯s epaulets in the future, and deciding that I wouldn¡¯t want to be spending so much time on someone in my current position.¡±

    Farris nodded. ¡°Time management is indeed one of the reasons why I only allowed myself to mentor two people so far. Remind me, way down the line, to spend a couple of hours lecturing you on the finer arts of the efficient usage of time, both as a combatant and an officer.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try to. Should I have Yvessa accompany for those lectures as well?¡±

    ¡°I think not,¡± she said. ¡°Best we limit the extent of Farris¡¯ teachings to just you so that we can keep the position of being mentored by him as prestigious as possible.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°What great reasoning for not wanting to spend time with me.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Sam said, ¡°you don¡¯t know which one of us she objects to spending time with.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s going to be both unless you get a move on,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°You¡¯re the one who decided to join Sam uninvited. Don¡¯t go blaming me for ruining your weekend. But point taken. You¡¯re both busy cadets; I¡¯m also busy. Stalling my royal obligations and keeping this call going on for too long will probably make my political reasoning for having it right now backfire. No questions on that front, Sam. I mean it. Modern politics is the one topic that you and I are never going to talk about anytime soon. If you hear me give vague statements like that, it¡¯s because of a force of habit. Unlike other topics, it¡¯s not an invitation for a deeper conversation.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯ve already given the role of explaining elven politics in the narrative to Yvessa. Well, she gave herself that role, really.¡±

    ¡°Fine, so let¡¯s finally move on. Dan sent me your schedule, and I¡¯m assuming there hasn¡¯t been a difference in it during these last two weeks¡­?¡±

    ¡°I only started cultivating as per the schedule after Dan gave me the go ahead. But, besides that, I¡¯ve been following it pretty closely.¡±

    ¡°Except during Saturday,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Right, yeah.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Farris asked. ¡°Dan¡¯s schedule doesn¡¯t cover Saturday.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but I¡¯m a man of habits, so I asked Sarah to make me a schedule for Saturday. And I haven¡¯t followed it last week, and I¡¯m not planning to follow it today, so¡­¡±

    ¡°Although,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°with how much time we spent here, you¡¯re more in line with it today than you were last week.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I suppose that¡¯s true.¡±

    Farris chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m assuming that your weekend schedule was too light by your standards and you¡¯ve been shirking in your off-time duties?¡±

    ¡°More or less. Are you going to give me a lecture about the importance of rest as well?¡±

    ¡°That depends. Are you getting enough rest?¡±

    ¡°Enough? No. But not too little? Yeah, I suppose.¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯ll let you off the hook this time. And what does the rest of today look like for you?¡±

    ¡°Finish here, go back to studying until lunch. Literally until lunch, as I¡¯m abusing my friends¡¯ generosity by getting Felix to go grab it for me, with the excuse of using what¡¯s remaining of the hour after eating together for buying him a PC online. Afterwards, back to studying until five or so, then cultivating until dinner. And depending on how long dinner lasts and how much willpower I will have by that point, some arbitrary allocation of leisure, cultivating, and studying until ten-fifteen.¡± Farris nodded and turned to type something¡ªprobably related to what Sam just told him, but who knows¡ªon the computer.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were going to buy Felix a PC today,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Can I come?¡±

    ¡°Sure, but only if you promise to make jokes about the fact that you spent every meal of your day off eating with me.¡±

    ¡°What if I skip dinner?¡±

    ¡°Then you¡¯ll have to answer to Sarah.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Farris turned back from the monitor. ¡°Well, I promised I wouldn¡¯t lecture you on the subject, so as long as you¡¯re fine keeping like this, my lips are sealed. And how has you cultivating by your lonesome gone so far?¡±

    ¡°Pretty good, I think. I manage to mostly be around the same as during the lessons with Dan. Same minus. But in any case, I¡¯m not good enough to know just how much progress I¡¯m making every session.¡±

    ¡°And you won¡¯t be anytime soon, don¡¯t worry about. As to your overall progress, from what Dan told me, he¡¯s planning to test your core capacity next Friday; see how far you¡¯ve come in a month of cultivating. I¡¯d wager you¡¯d be about a tenth of the way to level 1, which is an excellent amount of progress and a clear sign that you¡¯ll meet the goal of reaching level 1 in half a year. Especially with how natural you turned out to be in seeking.¡±

    ¡°I thought that you¡¯d have expected that.¡±

    ¡°I did. All Thread-Weavers¡ªeven and those who discover their talents as adults¡ªare inclined to gather by seeking. You¡¯ll find out why¡­¡±

    ¡°In half a year.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. But even knowing that, I couldn¡¯t have known exactly how much you¡¯d naturally gravitate towards seeking. I¡¯m happy to tell you that, on that front, if initial talent in seeking was a straight line, you¡¯d be right at the edge.¡±

    ¡°Better than you or Erianna?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°We¡¯re not comparing adults and teenagers. The important thing is that Sam has scored a major win for my hope and aspirations regarding him.¡±

    ¡°Is it that important that he¡¯ll reach level 1 in half a year?¡±

    ¡°Incredibly so. Don¡¯t forget, it¡¯s not just my aspirations as Sam¡¯s mentor. Sam himself wants to finish the academy in two and a half years, and I¡¯m not going to shirk in my duties by not giving him all of my support.¡±

    ¡°So should I assume that you¡¯re going to send the threads teacher to me the moment I hit level 1?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Yeah, about that,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Did you finally decide who you were going to send him?¡±

    Farris furrowed his brows. ¡°No, I haven¡¯t decided, haven¡¯t had much chance to think about it since you last interrogated me on the subject. I don¡¯t get why you¡¯re so inquisitive about it. As Sam¡¯s mentor, of course I¡¯m going to send him the best teacher I have available. There¡¯s no need for you to worry.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just that for your other mentee, you were the one to mostly teach her about threads. And obviously, you can¡¯t be the one to teach Sam¡­ So I¡¯m worried that you¡¯ll be making an uninformed decision instead of throughly judging all the teachers the Royal Academy has on offer one by one.¡±

    ¡°How rude! You trust that I¡¯ll make the right decision, don¡¯t you Sam?¡±

    ¡°Do you want the joke answer or the serious one?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Both. Start with the joke, though.¡±

    ¡°Your biggest decision regarding me was taking me under your wing. Which shows a major flaw in your critical thinking, such that would cause me to doubt your decision-making capability.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, pretty much figured that it¡¯d be something like that.¡±

    ¡°In all seriousness, though? I guess that I do trust you. You¡¯ve already surprised me today by taking the whole mentor business much more seriously than I thought you were going to. Plus, it¡¯s not like the decision of who you send to teach me will matter that much. I¡¯m sure that you won¡¯t send anyone unqualified, so there¡¯s really nothing to worry about.¡±

    ¡°See, Yvessa, you could stand to learn a thing or two from your new friend about how great of a person, nay, a mentor, I am.¡±

    She held up hands. ¡°Fine, fine. I give up. I¡¯m sure that you¡¯re going to choose the right person to teach Sam about threads.¡±

    ¡°Indeed I will. I assure you, I¡¯m going to use everything I learned from being Erianna¡¯s mentor in order to be the best mentor possible for Sam. In essence, her own education will be used to make Sam¡¯s education as best as possible.¡± He clapped his hands with a bright smile. ¡°Alright, this is all the time we¡¯ve got for today, Sam. Didn¡¯t go over everything I wanted to, but we covered the most important bits. Your progress so far has been exemplary, especially when taking all of your circumstances into account, so I¡¯m for than satisfied on that front. As should you be.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± Sam gulped.

    ¡°It¡¯s all you. Well, mostly you. I provide important moral support after all¡­ Anyway, I don¡¯t know when we¡¯ll be having our next talk. My schedule for the coming weeks will be too hectic and disjointed for us to make any concrete apportionment right now. But I¡¯ll probably contact you again in a couple of weeks. We¡¯ll definitely be making make this thing permanent. One call minimum once every three or four weeks. Just for me to have a clearer picture of where you are, at every given time.¡±

    ¡°And for important moral support, presumingly.¡±

    ¡°Of course! Now, does anyone have something more to add, or shall we bid our farewells for now?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m done,¡± Sam said. Yvessa shook her head. They bid Farris goodbye, his image instantly dissipating just like it when it appeared. Making their way out of the room, thankfully without the major at their elbow this time, they each kept silent. A fact that Sam was too occupied to notice¡ªlost in his own thoughts; the conflict between feeling relived by Farris¡¯ encouragements and shrugging them off¡ªuntil they made it out of the guarded complex and Yvessa spoke up and brought him out of his reverie.

    ¡°So,¡± she said, ¡°that was¡­ something. Seems like Farris is really planning to take his role as your mentor seriously.¡±

    ¡°Hmm? I thought that you didn¡¯t have any doubts about that?¡±

    ¡°Not doubts, no. Maybe I worded it wrong. I knew that he wasn¡¯t going to half-ass being your mentor, even if I didn¡¯t know what that meant for either of you. But I expected that, when all was said and done, he wasn¡¯t going to give you as much guidance and support as he did Erianna.¡±

    ¡°I still don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to get quite the treatment that your best friend did. Not that I¡¯m complaining, mind you. I¡¯m pretty happy with the current arrangement.¡±

    ¡°Obviously not. But it¡¯s clear that if it was up to Farris, you would be getting the same treatment. He¡¯s just not able to ¡®mentor¡¯ you the same way he did Erianna. Lacking means instead of lacking intentions.¡±

    ¡°I see what you mean¡­ So, are we splitting up, or are you going to walk me all the way back?¡±

    ¡°You walking me back to my dorm is not even on the agenda?¡±

    ¡°I should say not. Haven¡¯t I suffered enough physical activity in the last week already?¡±

 Chapter 71

    In the end, Yvessa was the one accompanied back to her dorm building. But only because hers was (somewhat) on the way back to Sam¡¯s. He made it very clear. Lest his friends start developing some new expectations regarding his conduct that he simply wasn¡¯t going to be able (let alone want) to live up to. Thankfully, the walk back to his own dorm wasn¡¯t that long, so he could¡¯ve easily made it without feeling downcast about walking with nothing but his own thoughts for distraction. Him having his headphones on him, and thus not having to suffer through even that minor ill, was an even greater cause for gratefulness.

    He strode into his room full of purpose, and after a short visit to the bathroom, took a sit next to his desk and made ready to optimally utilize his time until lunch. That was the plan. Instead, he found himself staring listlessly at the wall for almost a full minute without even realizing what he was doing (and wasn¡¯t doing). Shaking his head in an attempt to refocus, he moved his reading from yesterday aside¡ªdeciding his breakfast lesson with Yvessa was enough elven history for the day¡ªand picked up the next textbook in the planned rotation. And then he sighed. Right, of course, back to math.

    It wasn¡¯t the subject of his studies that took the wind out his sails and led to his current lethargy, but the subject being math certainly didn¡¯t help. He slapped his face. ¡°Alright, Sam. Take a hold of yourself. Let¡¯s get going. Nothing that happened today is a reason for you to feel tired.¡± Not a rational reason, no. But certainly an irrational one. Funny how getting positive reinforcement keeps screwing my brain.

    He tried quitting his mind and turning it back to the present world, but was unable to tear himself away from his daze. Working mechanically, he opened up the video lecture for today¡¯s topic. Which was as far as he got, the cursor not hovering anywhere close to the play button. Getting up to wash his face still wasn¡¯t enough for him to regain his focus, so that was yet another minute that he wasted without doing anything productive. They were piling up.

    He let out a breath, closing his eyes and focusing on the inhalation and exhalation. Then he went through another. And another after that. Some of his clarity of mind returned, but still not enough. He could feel the lack of focus and will trying to creep back up on him. So he let out yet another breath, only this time, he turned his senses outwards.

    Pretty much every person he had talked to about gathering had mentioned meditation in some context or another. And most of those had also commented on the fact that Sam¡¯s mediation habit would be greatly beneficial for his ability to cultivate. But out of all those people, only Lin Jingway regularly mediated. Yvessa might¡¯ve also counted, but by her own admission, she hasn¡¯t been keeping up the practice ever since she started her studies in the academy. Felix never tried mediating. Sarah tried a couple of times but never for more than a week and not once in the last half a year. Dan simply said it wasn¡¯t for him. And Maurice¡­ well, Sam didn¡¯t actually know about him; he¡¯ll have to ask Sarah. So despite the proclaimed benefit that they kept allocating to Sam¡¯s behavior, most of them didn¡¯t behave in the same way.

    It¡¯s not like Sam had trouble understanding that. Understanding why meditation for meditation¡¯s sake was so out of style on campus. Why there were four different classes¡ªan hour meeting every two weeks for each one¡ªon meditation and only one of them wasn¡¯t intended to help you with your cultivating. If you spent so much of your day in silence, doing nothing but using your mind to guide magic into your core, you might be disinclined to spend any more time in silence, doing even less with your mind. But Sam soon realized that yet another cause for mediation¡¯s lacking popularity had to do with one of the similarities between it and gathering, instead of one of the many differences. Both gathering and mediation could result in the same immediate mental improvements.

    Indeed, it was a story as old as time: an anxious teenager is introduced to the concept of mediation; he is told that it can help him with his anxiety; he picks it up. But then, all the meditation guides tell him that he shouldn¡¯t mediate with that clear of a goal in mind; with the hope that meditation would somehow rid him of anxiety. And that¡¯s before the mediation makes him even more anxious because he¡¯s worried that he¡¯s not doing it right (not to mention being more aware of himself and his emotions). Despite all that, he perseveres, and indeed, mediation does end up helping his anxiety. Sometimes. Those times he enters a session with worry weighing down his heart and leaves it one worry lighter. An immediate improvement for only the cost of sitting down in silence and following your practiced method for ten to twenty minutes.

    The thing is, gathering could also be used for the same limited purpose and achieve the same result. You¡¯d go into a half-hour cultivating session, feeling worried about something, and the constant focus, together with the clarity of mind, would help you forget it by the session¡¯s end. In that aspect, gathering had all the positives of mediation and none of the drawbacks. You knew if you were cultivating right or wrong. You could go into each and every session with a mechanical goal in mind and feel yourself inching towards it. And most importantly, cultivating made you feel better. Physically better.

    It made sense, after all. If our bodies evolved to reward us with endorphins for doing certain acts, why would they forgo the same kind of reward for cultivating? The actual mechanical (chemical?) process was way more complicated than that, of course, to do with terms and concepts that Sam had no idea what they meant even after Sarah¡¯s very dumbed down explanation. But the end result was obvious. Cultivating made you feel better. So why would you ever need to meditate knowing that?

    For a lot of reasons, of course. Sam never once considering the proposition of dropping his twice a day mediation habit. At the end of the day, helping you relax after a session was a secondary effect of both meditating and cultivating. You didn¡¯t cultivate to make yourself feel momentarily better, and you shouldn¡¯t mediate for just that as well. The end purpose of both acts was, overall, vastly different.

    Which meant that the reason Sam started cultivating right now¡ªwhen he found himself unable to focus on his studies¡ªwasn¡¯t because he was using it as an alternative for an ¡°emergency¡± session of meditation. He wasn¡¯t after the positive physical aftereffects gathering could leave you with. Instead, he started cultivating because he didn¡¯t want to keep wasting his time, and fighting in order to focus on seeking and excavating seemed like it¡¯d be easier than struggling to focus on the recorded lecture.

    As it turned out, he was right. It took him a couple of minutes to get into it. But soon enough, he was completing cycles at his usual pace. He didn¡¯t cultivate for all that long, stopping a couple of minutes after he felt his state of mind completely resorted. Something which was bound to happen anyway, of course. The chances of his mental state changing anytime soon were lower than his level. But he simply didn¡¯t feel like wasting time while staring at nothing and being moody for reasons he didn¡¯t have the power to articulate to himself.

    Feeling better (not a direct result of his body¡¯s minor positive response to the gathering), he got up to wash his face before sitting back down, filled with intent. This time, the only thing he stared at was the screen and the equations being solved in it. He only got up from his sit after the recording ended, to take a piss and drink some water, before redirecting his gaze to the textbook; it¡¯s examples and exercises.

    When the knock came on his door, he got up while tapping his belly in satisfaction. Good session today, really good. He smiled. He managed to finish the problems required for the lecture, as well as two that weren¡¯t mandatory. And even though he didn¡¯t have enough time to start on the next lecture, he still managed to read the introduction to the next topic in the textbook.

    ¡°What are you so happy about?¡± Felix asked him once he opened the door. He ushered Felix and Yvessa in, taking his lunch from Felix¡¯s hands and closing the door behind them.

    ¡°Math isn¡¯t as hard as I was worried it was going to be,¡± he said, joining them on the floor.

    ¡°Oh, good for you. Does that mean you won¡¯t be complaining about math anymore?¡±

    ¡°Now, what kind of stupid question is that? If I stop complaining about something just because it turned out better than I was expecting, it could potentially greatly cut down on the number of topics I¡¯m able to complain about. And if I¡¯m not complaining about stuff, then what even remains of my personality at that point?¡±

    ¡°Did he also complain so much to Farris?¡± Felix asked Yvessa.

    ¡°Hm¡­ I¡¯m actually not sure that he complained at all to Farris. Before that yes¡ª¡±

    ¡°Now, now,¡± Sam said, ¡°that¡¯s debatable.¡±

    ¡°But not to Farris, I think.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Felix asked. ¡°I¡¯d have thought you¡¯d use the opportunity to circumvent your promise from yesterday about not complaining to your friends.¡±

    ¡°Nah, that wouldn¡¯t have worked. Farris made his position on whether we are friends very clear.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯d you even talk about? Yvessa just said that she joined you on your call with him, but nothing more than that.¡±

    ¡°I should think not! She clearly respects my privacy too much to betray it like that.¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily. She only mentioned Farris as we were going up the stairs. Maybe she just didn¡¯t have enough time to spill your secrets.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have told him anything more than that, Sam,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°But would you even care if I did?¡±

    Sam smacked his lips. ¡°Nah¡­ it¡¯s not like there was anything of import being said. Although¡­ I don¡¯t know, maybe. At the very least, I wouldn¡¯t care if you told it to Felix or Sarah.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Yeah, tell it to Sarah. Spend your own time to save the group¡¯s spending it on Sarah¡¯s daily Sam recap.¡±

    ¡°Hey, at least it¡¯s only daily now, and no longer twice a day. I think we all got bored pretty quickly with hearing on what I did before going to sleep.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I would¡¯ve loved to hear you describing how you jerked off that prior evening. But alas, we never heard about that. I wonder why¡­¡±

    ¡°What? So if I had jerked off, then I should¡¯ve told you about that the morning after? What is this, Catholic school?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just important for the full picture. I mean, I don¡¯t know how long it takes you to jerk off. But let¡¯s say half an hour. You really going to leave that huge chunk missing for your recap? That¡¯s not fair to Sarah. That¡¯s not fair to me or Yvessa.¡±

    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Yvessa would be more than fine without hearing about that aspect of other people¡¯s sexual life,¡± she said.

    ¡°Does masturbation count as ¡®sexual?¡¯¡± Felix wondered.

    ¡°Of course it does,¡± Sam said. ¡°What kind of organ do you think you perform the verb on?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ yes, good point, that. Still, it feels weird saying that someone who never had sex but just jerks off daily has a very active sex life.¡±

    ¡°I think that in the grand scheme of debates that don¡¯t matter,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°this is certainly one of the debates that don¡¯t matter the most.¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s not the debate, right?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s like the most boring person paradox¡­ Doesn¡¯t ring any bells? Fair enough. It¡¯s not mine, by the way, but I don¡¯t remember where I picked it from. Doubt it was anything by a serious¡ªor even amateur¡ªlogician, though. So the paradox goes that the most boring person in the world can¡¯t possibly be the most boring person in the world.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­¡± Felix nodded. ¡°Because if they¡¯re the most boring person in the world, then that¡¯s an interesting fact about them, which means they can¡¯t be the most boring person in the world.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. So then you go down to the second most boring person in the world and you end up with an infinite regression. A classic paradox. It¡¯s the same thing¡ªalthough maybe not as strong¡ªwith what Yvessa said. The thing ¡®debate that matters the least in the world¡¯ must end up mattering more by the simple virtue of being the one that matters the least. Like I said, it¡¯s not exactly the same, but if you squint hard enough¡­¡±

    ¡°Why do you have to squint so hard? Jerking off got your eyesight?¡±

    ¡°Oh good, we¡¯re back to that. Not my fault this time, Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take full credit for diverting the conversation to that particular topic today.¡±

    ¡°Good for you. And I think I also know why you are doing that.¡±

    ¡°I really doubt it.¡±

    ¡°Oh. It doesn¡¯t have anything to do with you not wanting to hear me narrate my conversation with Farris because you know that you¡¯re just going to hear it again during dinner?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ that would have been a way better reason. Like some sort of internal defense mechanism, saving me from going down conversational forks that will end up with me wanting the fork to become tangible so I could stab myself with it.¡±

    ¡°So what¡¯s the real reason, then?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Let me guess, it¡¯s been a long time since you had sex and you¡¯re¡ª¡±

    ¡°What am I, some sexual pest that takes out his frustration on my friends¡­? You¡¯re not answering, you know that, right? You¡¯re not saying no. This is really not a nice thing to joke about.¡±

    ¡°Darn!¡± Sam snapped his fingers. ¡°There goes my homophobic joke.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ Think of a better one. That one¡¯s way too easy.¡±

    ¡°It was purpose made to resemble you.¡±

    ¡°Better. And no, if you must know the real reason why I kept making jokes about jerking off¡ª¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°The real reason is that I watched a stand-up yesterday, which was almost only masturbation jokes. It wasn¡¯t good. But I kept watching it for some reason. I think it fired my brain a little bit¡­ Anyway, that was the reason. I¡¯m putting it out there for you to chastise me as you will. Although, speaking of what we were just speaking about¡ª¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°No this is good, I promise. Javi, your medic friend, sent me a message last night, Sam.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Not really my medic friend. He just saved my life. You¡¯re the one who had sex with him.¡±

    ¡°Are you telling us this because you want us to know that you¡¯ve made plans to hook up?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Nothing of the sort,¡± Felix protested. ¡°We didn¡¯t even speak of our joint experience together. Like everything else in my life since Sam entered it, the short back-and-forth had to do with him.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s creepy,¡± Sam said. ¡°Also, the first part of that sentence was a joke, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t worry about it. And it¡¯s not creepy. I just gave the conversation a connotation that it didn¡¯t have by how I brought it up. It was literally just a short exchange of a couple of texts. He wrote me asking if I¡¯ve met you and if I knew how you were doing. He read one of those news articles about you.¡±

    ¡°Fucking Farris¡­¡± Sam shook his head with a sigh. ¡°It¡¯s his fucking fault people know about me. I should¡¯ve given him what for.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°I was really surprised that you didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Eh¡­ It¡¯s not really his fault. Well, it is, but it was due to something done for my benefit. Probably.¡±

    ¡°You read any of those articles yet?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°No, why? Do the Terran ones have any more information than the original elven one that Yvessa showed me?¡±

    ¡°Nah, just more speculation. That still don¡¯t know anything besides your name, that you¡¯re the most unique Taken in history, that you¡¯re taking sanctuary inside these walls, and that Farris is your mentor. Well, that and what you look like naked.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ maaan!¡±

    ¡°Only from the back, though. Your crowd for small dick jokes remains the same size.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, just like my dick, unfortunately¡­¡± They high-fived.

    ¡°So what did Javi the medic want to know about Sam?¡± Yvessa asked Felix.

    ¡°Like I said, just if I¡¯ve met him and if I know how he¡¯s doing.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯d you tell him?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I said we¡¯re friends. And that you¡¯re doing fine. No lines of your privacy were breached, I assure you. I told him that I¡¯ll pass on his well wishes to you, and that I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll appreciate it.¡±

    ¡°Do I appreciate it?¡±

    ¡°You better. Don¡¯t make me out to be a liar.¡±

    ¡°Appreciate it is. Send him a thank-you message, I guess. That¡¯s the polite thing to do, right?¡±

    ¡°Nah¡­ you don¡¯t have to. On the other hand, he did save your life, by your own admission.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Better write him something. Consider it your payment for your new PC.¡±

    ¡°I thought me bringing you lunch was my payment for that.¡±

    ¡°It was, but then Yvessa also offered to join me for lunch, so that made your contribution unnecessary.¡±

    ¡°But I only offered to join because you were already meeting with Felix and I also wanted to help him buy a PC,¡± Yvessa said.

    Sam shrugged. ¡°It still counts. What¡¯s there to help, though? I thought we were just buying you the same build I have.¡±

    Felix scrunched his face. ¡°Yeah¡­ I don¡¯t know how I feel about buying exactly the same build you have. I mean, I know it¡¯s not my money and that you don¡¯t need it¡­ But still, it feels wrong to pay so much extra for no reason at all.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, ¡®no reason?¡¯ There¡¯s a marginal difference in performance that made all the money I spent worth it.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°You haven¡¯t played a single game since you bought it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not about usage. It¡¯s about the possibility of usage. I want to know that my PC is capable of outperforming every other on the market. In case that I¡¯d want to use it. I want the option to be there.¡±

    ¡°It could be there, just way cheaper.¡±

    ¡°Look, the PC is bought. We¡¯re not having this discussion anymore! We¡¯re here to pick one for Felix. Not criticize nonexistent spending habits. So, if you¡¯re not buying what I have, do you know what you are buying?¡± he asked Felix.

    Felix nodded. ¡°Yeah, I looked through a couple of options yesterday; I think I¡¯ve made my pick. Want to help me confirm, Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± She shrugged.

    ¡°You do that,¡± Sam said. ¡°I¡¯ll clean up and join you.¡± He picked up their trash and stepped outside to drop it in the garbage chute.

    Yvessa saying, ¡°Stop trying to look for porn,¡± was the first thing he heard when he came back into the room.

    ¡°These, ladies and gentleman,¡± Sam said as he joined them (standing because the youth of today had no manners), ¡°provides us a glimpse into the deepest recesses of Felix¡¯s psyche. We now know that he likes his porn downloaded onto the hard drive.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t just looking for porn,¡± Felix said. ¡°I was snooping in general. Just seeing what you have.¡±

    ¡°Disappointed?¡±

    ¡°Very. You haven¡¯t even downloaded a single game yet.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ Choosing which game, or even which bunch of games, to download is a great big hassle. It¡¯s the paradox of choice. Having every item¡ªsurviving item¡ªof pre-Integration entertainment for free at my fingertips is robbing me of my ability to make a decision.¡±

    ¡°And yet you still managed to download a bunch of shows and movies,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Different thing. It¡¯s like my playlist. I¡¯m not making any active decision, but just trying to return things to how they were on my old PC.¡±

    ¡°You do realize that you can do the same things with games, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s not the same thing. Most of the video games I had as a mainstay in the old days come with the extra baggage I already told you about. And the one I can think of right now that doesn¡¯t¡­ I¡¯d have to mod it and I¡¯m not even in the mood to play it right now. Anyway, enough about me and where my porn folder hidden is, you¡¯ll never find it, and it¡¯s not even there. Where are you on the PC search?¡±

    ¡°We haven¡¯t started yet.¡± Yvessa gestured towards Felix.

    ¡°Well hop on to it! You do know that I¡¯m kicking you out of here at the end of the hour, right?¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°Yes, you¡¯ve made your timetables abundantly clear to us. Numerous times.¡±

    ¡°Then you¡¯ll have no one else to blame but yourself if you don¡¯t leave here today with a new PC on the horizon.¡±

    ¡°OK, OK, I get it. Is your credit card intimation on here?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ no. No, it isn¡¯t. Here it is. Have fun.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need it just yet. We still need to finish going over everything.¡± That didn¡¯t take too long, however. Felix came prepared. With a top of the line build, which was definitely way more bang for your buck than Sam¡¯s. He ended up only changing one component from his initial choice. So most of the debate ranged around the external hardware. That too was over in short order and before too long, Felix had his wish fulfilled thanks to the power of unbridled expectations heaped upon Sam (or compassion from a supernational political entity, if you¡¯re buying into children¡¯s fables) which manifested themselves in his unlimited (within reason) bank account.

    Felix and Yvessa then hijacked Sam¡¯s computer and tried forcing him to download games for himself. When his will proved stronger than their ability to challenge it. They moved on to downloading games of their own volition. Yvessa just had the maniacal idea of looking through lists ranking pre-Integration games when the clock struck true and Sam was finally able to kick them out. Crisis averted.

    He spent the rest of his time until dinner following the same exact plan he described to Farris. First, studies. He finished math, watching the next recording, and finishing all its exercises and examples. Then actually something magical for a change, some preliminary reading on the finer aspects of magical theory that Dan was going to start introducing into their lessons together, finally moving on from just tracing and gathering practice.

    It was still highschool level stuff, and as Sam Sam understood it, the jump from it to the academy material was very similar to the jump in difficulty when studying a subject in highschool to majoring in it at university. Which meant that Introduction to Magical Theory¡ªa course that only existed by the name on the textbook, as no one else at the New Point academy had to study it (by virtue of not being accepted if they did)¡ªwas going to displace elven history as his most studied subject for the foreseeable future.

    Independently studied, at least. Because until Dan weaned him off from gathering practice every day. Gathering was going to be what he spent most of his week on. Although, it depended on whether you counted practicing gathering as studying. Sam figured that he did, which gave rise to the next question¡ªoccupying his last free moments before he started his after-studies cultivation session¡ªdid his cultivating in his free time count as studying? Sam wasn¡¯t sure. In his practice with Dan, he was actively trying to improve himself by following Dan¡¯s directives and new information. On his own, he really was just cultivating. Doing everything by rote. He was getting better, for sure, but¡­ You can¡¯t really call doing an activity for the purpose of receiving its ends, studying. Of course, both very much counted as training.

    Consensus was luckily achieved just as he sat down (oh, how he wished he could lie down instead, alas the floor was too uncomfortable) to start cultivating, so he had no problems focusing on the process from the get go. Thankfully, by this point of his short cultivating career, he was able to avoid keeping count of his completed cycles when he didn¡¯t want to like today; the act was too distracting, and more importantly, annoying when you kept going for longer than ten minutes.

    He only had to stop midway through the session once to go to the bathroom and grab a drink, using that as an excuse to rest after his loss of momentum during a particularly poor execution of his basic excavating technique. Sam was very far off from knowing just how much of his magic really went to his core, but he was willing to hazard an unsubstantiated guess of only a fifth making it through before dissipating that time (seemed good enough a guess from a self-flagellating perspective). That was his worst cycle of the session though, and he finished the rest of it without noticing the quick passage of time until the dinner alarm made it known.

    Just like he warned Felix, his call with Farris was the first topic of conversation at dinner. A short (by Sarah¡¯s standards) recap later, and the conversation managed to steer itself away from Sam. Then it made a wrong turn, as Sarah was still adamant in her refusal to allow discussion of academy subjects that were too complex for Sam to understand yet, before settling back on Sam. This decision was pure malice on part of the participating parties, as both Felix and Yvessa made the conscious decision to revive their discussion about which games Sam should download.

    Turned out well enough, though, as the four of them ended up back in Sam¡¯s room after dinner. Playing one of the very games that Yvessa suggested. Sarah, of all people, won the most. Of course, the most important thing was that Sam successfully managed to end the evening without uttering nary a complaint. Even when the game really fucked him over.

 Chapter 72

    Sam woke up on Sunday morning with a bright smile due to the lack of soreness in his body. Hopefully, that meant that the worst was behind him; that this week, he¡¯ll be able to move about without being constantly reminded of the fact that physical exercise has drawbacks. He didn¡¯t hold out hope that this would persist through the next time Sarah decided to increase his workouts¡¯ difficulty, though. He only hoped that said day was far off in the future. Gotta be at least two more weeks, right? You can¡¯t go around changing a person¡¯s routine every two weeks. Well, maybe you can when magic is in play. Also, you probably can even when it isn¡¯t, and I¡¯m just whining. But, it¡¯s a new week, so I¡¯m allowed to complain, aren¡¯t I?

    Although Sunday¡¯s sanctity was taken away inside the academy¡¯s blasphemous halls, it did retain something in common with Saturday. Sam¡¯s Saturday at least. It had its own unique schedule. Which, to tell the truth, caused him a minor amount of annoyance. The lack of symmetry, or whatever the correct term for the sort of similarity that his brain craved, between the weekdays due to having his session with Lin on Saturday and not on Sunday. But he wasn¡¯t going to change it. And anyway, it was good for him to have an exercise planned for each day of the week.

    What this meant for This Morning Sam, however, was that he had the time until breakfast free. Which obviously made him somewhat depressed, since he was forced to think about how today was the only day where he had his morning free. Don¡¯t think about how it would feel like to sleep in on Saturdays! You¡¯re not allowed to sleep in.

    ¡°Ugh¡­¡± he grumbled as he washed his face. Always the same story every Sunday. The stubborn sense of malcontent remained with him (as always) all through the meditation, but quickly passed once he sat down and officially started the day.

    Two-thirds of the morning were dedicated to studying and the remaining third was to cultivating. That was his Sunday schedule ever since he started cultivating per the schedule. Today¡¯s studying was a specially prepared treat, however. Thanks to the thoughtfulness and forward-thinking of past Sam, both subjects for the day were old and familiar; the kind that Sam just had to read the textbook and didn¡¯t even need to spend all that much brainpower deciphering (hopefully, because whenever he came across something he didn¡¯t know or remembered it was easy enough for him to immediately grasp, and not because he was taking it easy on himself due to knowing he wasn¡¯t going to be tested on the material).

    So, after an hour and something of what was (in his eyes) a lacking discussion on both Locke and Hobbes, Sam closed the textbook with a satisfied grin. Cultivating went just as well as his last session from yesterday (that ran a little long due to him wanting to make up the unplanned time he spent playing video games). And wasn¡¯t that a cause for a smile as well? The lack of anxiety and worry all throughout (and especially before) the cultivation session. The steadfast confidence that he was both doing it well, and that what he was doing was good enough for who he needed to be. At least, he assumed that it was good enough. Hopefully, Web-Web¡¯s acute absence in these last three weeks was a result of the AI¡¯s own choices.

    And don¡¯t I miss the little bugger? Hm¡­ no. Not really. They¡¯re sort of like a Sword of Damocles, ready to drop down at a moment¡¯s notice and deliver me some earth shattering news. Better they keep silent. Means there¡¯s nothing for me to ask them and nothing important for them to tell me. Although¡­ I have to admit that I¡¯m curious about the stuff they purposefully intended to spend time and energy telling me. Better not worry about that too much, though, I¡¯ll just end up developing unrealistic expectation.

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± he scoffed. ¡°As though me saving the Web is a realistic expectation. Is it still level 10 in five years, Web-Web? Never mind, don¡¯t answer that. Shouldn¡¯t¡¯ve disturbed you.¡± He got up from the chair with a stretch before getting dressed and ready for the day. ¡°Lest we forget you,¡± he said to his earbuds as he picked them up. A podcast might not be in the cards anytime soon, but just because he worked out with other people, that didn¡¯t mean he wasn¡¯t allowed to listen to music in order to help him through it. Besides, they can¡¯t all be like Sarah, who likes working out enough to feel comfortable spending so much time doing it without external aid. Felix and Yvessa certainly weren¡¯t. Of course, they still had an easier time working out in silence than he had. But Sam blamed their ability to cultivate while exercising on that, rather than any difference in character between them (he was probably incorrect to do so, though).

    ¡°Good morning,¡± he bid Sarah, who was already waiting for him downstairs (same as on Friday, but she counted Saturday for her internal calculations, despite them never having met downstairs on Saturday morning so far).

    She smiled at him and said, ¡°Good morning to you too,¡± as they started walking towards their mess hall. ¡°How are you feeling today?¡±

    He gave her a thumbs up. ¡°Woke up right as rain. So I¡¯m holding out hope that even after tonight I¡¯ll still be sore free tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you will. But even if not, it¡¯s not going to be anywhere near as painful as last week. So that means this week will be easier on you for certain.¡±

    ¡°You sure got a way with words when you want to excuse your barbaric mistreatment of my body. But, you¡¯re filled with good intentions. So I¡¯ll allow it.¡±

    ¡°Thank you very much¡­ So, am I right in assuming that after we left you yesterday, you cut your nightly leisure time because we stayed playing for so long?¡±

    He held up his hands in appeasement. ¡°Only by half an hour, I promise. I told you, one hour before sleep is my hard limit of what must remain my free time.¡±

    ¡°I said leisure time, though, not free time. Because if you term it as free time than you could excuse using it for other things¡­ like showering or meditating.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but that¡¯s only for half an hour¡­ as long as I¡¯m not back to writing my journal. Which will only take me ten minutes max.¡±

    ¡°So your real hard limit is twenty minutes of leisure time before bed?¡±

    ¡°Sure, if you frame it like that. But I, for one, have never hit that worst-case scenario. And even though it¡¯s only been four weeks, I think we can extrapolate that fact in order to indicate my future behavior.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­ We¡¯ll see.¡±

    The rest of the day passed in relative calmness. Not much different from its counterpart a week ago. Well, the sum of his actions wasn¡¯t all that different, but the way he went about them definitely was. First of all, Dan didn¡¯t have anything new and groundbreaking to teach him, as they were only going to start studying about magical theory on Tuesday (to give Sam Monday evening to read more about it). Sam hoped that the constant repetition of just watching him while he was doing magical stuff inside his own body wasn¡¯t wearing too much on Dan¡¯s nerves. Hard to imagine that it wasn¡¯t, as even for Sam, it was getting a bit tiresome. But then again, no one said that Dan was a piece of shit human being like Sam was. Thankfully, for the both of them, Dan said that he was pretty certain that next week they were going to lessen their gathering practice as promised. Although, the final decision was ultimately still in Dan of Next Tuesday¡¯s hands.

    He made good use of his earbuds at lunch already, due to Dan growing more content with sending him off to eat alone. What of the level 10¡¯s meal, then? Sam wasn¡¯t sure. But Dan promised him that he was, in fact, eating, and not to worry. So if the man himself told Sam not to worry about that, then there¡¯s nothing else a person like Sam could do to prevent a person like Dan from resenting him due to missing lunch because of teaching him. That was the joke Sam thought about during lunch, but didn¡¯t feel quite comfortable telling Dan. It also wasn¡¯t really much of a joke, which could very well explain why it went unuttered to his friends as well.

    His dinner with them was also different from last week. If only because they stayed on one topic and one topic only for the entire conversation (and there wasn¡¯t any annoying meta-commentary concerning what they were talking about):

    Apparently, The first years were going to have a tournament of sorts in three weeks. Well, ¡®tournament¡¯ is giving what this was too much credit. It was basically a sparring competition between all first year (and was that except Sam or did Sam not count as a first year?) cadets. The entire ¡®tournament¡¯ was to take place during the regular combat practice each cadet had during that week and it was wholly carried out inside their regular gyms. ¡°It can¡¯t really count as a tournament if it takes places in the usual environment and during the usual time.¡± Was how he put it. Felix was the only one that disagreed and insisted they kept referring to the tournament as such.

    ¡°A, it¡¯s called a tournament,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Not officially,¡± Yvessa argued.

    ¡°What¡¯s the official name?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Preliminary Testing of First Year Cadets¡¯ Advancement in Personal Combat Capabilities. The instructors specifically referred to it as a series of exhibition matches.¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Felix said, ¡°and then they, and everyone else, forgot all about that and they just kept calling it a tournament. Moving on to B: the tournament has an official ranking of all final participants.¡±

    ¡°Which isn¡¯t public.¡±

    ¡°So? At the end of the day we know who the top ranks are because it¡¯s determined by who wins in the final rounds. And since there can only be one first place, one second place and so on¡­ Criticize it however you want, but it¡¯s perfectly clear that functionally, it¡¯s a tournament.¡±

    ¡°Are there any prizes?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°No. Maybe there¡¯ll be a student who ¡®moves up¡¯ a combat class, if they really outperformed their peers. But¡­ at this point in our studies, the difference between the classes shouldn¡¯t be that great, ideally. And if we¡¯re speaking of ideals, then the instructors themselves should have changed the better performing cadet¡¯s class well before the tournament.¡±

    ¡°Assuming the young cadet in question was performing to the same capabilities in class and not hiding their talents for the big match.¡±

    ¡°Why would they do that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, you tell me. It¡¯s not like there¡¯s a prize, or it¡¯s a real tournament.¡±

    ¡°Screw you. You¡¯re just jealous you¡¯re not allowed to participate.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ I do love embarrassing myself in front of a large audience.¡±

    ¡°Not that large,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°The only cadets allowed in the gym during the matches are those participating in them, and the aiding third years.¡±

    Sam turned to Felix with a pitying look. ¡°Is this thing being a tournament really the hill you want to die on?¡±

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    ¡°It¡¯s a fucking tournament.¡± Felix frowned.

    ¡°Fine. We¡¯ll have it your way. See this as my contribution to your marginalized community.¡±

    ¡°Which community are you referring to in, what I can only assume, is a lame effort to have a joke at my expense?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d be correct. And it¡¯s the community of people who are confidently wrong.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s hardly a marginalized community,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°True¡­ but the gay jokes were getting stale. I had to pivot to making fun of some other aspects of Felix.¡±

    ¡°Had to?¡± Felix raised an eyebrow.

    ¡°I can¡¯t make fun of Sarah or Yvessa! People might think me sexist.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s better for them to think you a homophobe?¡±

    ¡°Sure is. Smaller market share.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve made plenty of jokes at our expense,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Of course I did. But never once about you being women.¡±

    ¡°Yes you did. A ton of them.¡±

    ¡°About you being women¡­? Or just women in general?¡±

    ¡°Both.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. That sounds right¡­ Anyway, so how does this tournament actually work?¡±

    ¡°So you gave up on objecting to it being a tournament?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°What¡¯s there for you to be smug about? I told you that I¡¯m only doing it for your sake.¡±

    ¡°Sounds more like an excuse to me, after you realized I was right, but whatever. I¡¯ll let you keep your dignity.¡±

    ¡°You will? Where¡¯d you even find the darn thing?¡± Sam tapped his back with a small nod. ¡°Good joke Sam, really well done, etcetera etcetera... Now answer my question.¡±

    ¡°The first round,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°is a round robin of the ¡®lower¡¯ ranked combat classes. Thankfully, our class is one of those exempt from the first round. The second round is a group stage. And the last one is classic elimination rules. That¡¯s pretty much it. Same deal as the end of the year tournament.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound very exciting¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not.¡± Sarah nodded. ¡°I would¡¯ve skipped mine if I could.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t want to embarrass the rest of the children?¡±

    ¡°Hardly¡­ I only finished fourth place half a year ago.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what you get for training in four different weapons,¡± he said with a smile and she returned him a sour face. ¡°Wait, what do the people who train in ranged combat do during the tournament?¡±

    ¡°They have their sole competition at the end of the year, after the ¡®regular¡¯ tournament takes place,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°But there aren¡¯t people who only train in ranged combat. At least not in the republic. You have to take close-quarters combat classes. So everyone takes part in the tournament.¡±

    ¡°Man, that sounds like a hassle. Thank God I won¡¯t have to participate.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to flunk out on even the end of the year tournament?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Of course I am. It¡¯s not like in half a year I¡¯m going to be able to be a top contender.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not top contender,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°But surely with your private tuition you¡¯ll be good enough to participate..¡±

    ¡°I think we can both agree that¡¯s a very big, and a tad unrealistic, assumption. But we¡¯ll see. Anyway, even if I manage to exceed expectations, I¡¯m with Sarah on this. If I don¡¯t have to compete, I don¡¯t want to.¡±

    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to completely avoid competition though, you know?¡± Felix said. ¡°There¡¯s also a tournament at the end of the third year.¡±

    ¡°Oh god¡­ The same deal?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°This one is an actual tournament. Still no prizes, but it takes place over a period of three weeks after the year ends, in an arena with an actual audience.¡±

    ¡°And it¡¯s with magic,¡± Felix said. ¡°All cadets to showcase everything they learned in their three years here, so we could see who¡¯s best.¡±

    ¡°I assume that this one you are going to win?¡± Sam turned to Sarah.

    ¡°That¡¯s the plan. It¡¯s you three I¡¯m worried about.¡± She smiled. ¡°There can only be one first place.¡±

    ¡°Not it!¡± Sam called.

    ¡°What makes you so sure?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s not because I assumed I won¡¯t be good enough. Although, I definitely won¡¯t. I only meant that since there¡¯s no prize, I¡¯m definitely going to throw the match if I come up against either of them.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for your consideration,¡± Felix said dryly. ¡°Now I can rest easy knowing that I only need to worry about Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, rest easy?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I think we both know what I meant by that.¡±

    ¡°That you¡¯re an overconfident asshole? Because there¡¯s no way that you¡¯ll beat me. Let alone easily beat me.¡±

    ¡°Oh god¡­¡± Sam rolled his eyes. ¡°You¡¯re not going to be arguing like for the entirety of the next three weeks, are you?¡±

    ¡°Nah¡­¡± Felix said. ¡°I don¡¯t care about it all that much.¡±

    Yvessa laughed. ¡°Also, he knows that I¡¯m definitely going to win.¡±

    Sam groaned. ¡°Thank God there¡¯s no audience allowed, so I don¡¯t have to make up an excuse why I won¡¯t be coming to cheer you either of you.¡±

    ¡°But if you had to,¡± Felix said, ¡°who would you cheer for?¡±

    Sam cupped his chin. ¡°It fucking sucks that I don¡¯t know any other first year to say their name for the joke.¡±

    ¡°Does that mean you¡¯ll be cheering for me in my tournament?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°But of course. I assume we all will. Right there at the front with Maurice. Although, who knows what will happen by then? A year and a half is a long time. We might no longer be friends by that point.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t joke about that.¡±

    ¡°Sorry. Can I reformat that joke to make it about the friendship of people who are not you?¡±

    ¡°You mean you and Felix, or you and Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°Or Felix and Yvessa. Any configuration that will prevent all three of us from being there to cheer you on together.¡±

    ¡°You may not.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough.¡± Sam nodded, and, looking around the table¡ªor more specifically, the emptied plates and trays¡ªsaid, ¡°So, we ready to go?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d have thought you¡¯d be disinclined to say something which will have us start our workout early,¡± Felix said as they got up to leave. ¡°Is this your attempt at making for time because you still feel bad about yesterday?¡±

    ¡°No, but good guess. Really shows how well have I communicated to you the main facets of my personality. The actual reason is that I had nothing else to say and because of who I am¡ªas you are, of course, well aware¡ªI felt like I had to say something. That was the first thing that came to mind.¡±

    ¡°Uh-huh¡­ And what¡¯s the real reason?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been running a tally in my head of how similar and different today is compared to Sunday of a week ago. And I wanted to get the workout out of the way before I forgot about it.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I dunno¡­ Just felt like it. Put the day in a nice thematic box.¡±

    ¡°And how¡¯s that going for you?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°You¡¯ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out, as I¡¯ll only know before going to sleep.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll write myself a remainder to ask you tomorrow then.¡±

    ¡°Will you really?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡±

    ¡°Thank God.¡±

    The rest of the evening did end up fitting with Sam¡¯s overall categorization of the day. As in being composed of the same general acts that last week¡¯s Sunday had, but the experience of going through the acts themselves being different. Although, his workout was perhaps the one act which was closest to its earlier counterparts in subjectivity. It was still fucking hard. Not as hard as last week (at least that was what Sam kept telling himself). But definitely not as ¡°easy¡± as the workout from two weeks ago was.

    I blame Farris forcing me to dance for him yesterday, Sam grumbled to himself during his second break of the workout. At least the headphones were a huge help that he didn¡¯t have access to last week. Hopefully, he¡¯ll soon get over his need for the mental support he got from having high octane music pumping in his ears and be able to go back to listening to podcasts while working out (or, in the case of cardio, to start listening, as he was never able to keep the practice going long enough to get over that hump). Although, that left the question of what will happen to his Workout playlist¡ªwhich was finally back to seeing use after a long period of inactivity¡ªafterwards. Probably consigned to just the days during which he had no power to hear other people talking any more than he had to.

    Just like a week ago (although, every cardio day really) Sarah escorted him back to his dorm, but unlike a week ago, it was only to his building, and not all the way up to his room. Perhaps providing proof for the assumption that he truly did have an easier time today compared to a week ago. Although, in a twist on the theme of comparison, he ended up taking¡ªor what felt like taking at least¡ªthe same time walking up the blighted stairs as last week.

    Once back in his room, it was indeed fully the same, though: shower; meditation; studying; and cultivating. But again, there were differences. The shower was shorter. The meditation, not on the bed like last week. Studying went easier and faster. Much faster. As he was not going to even entertain the thought that his knowledge of ethics as deteriorated enough for him to need a refresher on any philosopher he had studied before. And he was familiar with all brought up in the curriculum. Sam was greatly disappointed to discover that fact. Not one major advancement in any of the five mandatory branches of philosophy taught at the academy¡ªat least none that the textbooks referenced¡ªin more than a hundred years and after the introduction of magic into the equation.

    So that gave him a lot of extra time for cultivation. He entertained the thought of using that extra time for his own enjoyment. But managed to quickly shoot it down by forcing himself to start cultivating right at the moment that he closed the textbook (thankfully, he already had made a daily alarm for ten-fifteen at night, so no time was wasted on setting that up). The option of using that time to study something else instead also made itself known in Sam¡¯s consciousness. But he decided against it due to already being slightly ahead of the schedule, and frankly, because he didn¡¯t feel like going back to studying more magical theory today (picking up anything else was, of course, an impossibility, as that would¡¯ve meant going against the schedule).

    Which meant that cultivation was the last bit of difference between today and last week¡ªboth in its length, difficulty, and how Sam felt during and afterwards¡ªas the remaining hour and a half of the day was spent in exactly the same fashion as last week. Just different episodes and chapters was all.

    He regaled Felix with that fact once they met up on the following day. To which Felix asked, ¡°So, are you going to keep this weird comparing obsession that you¡¯ve got going for the rest of the week?¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t thought about that. You think I should?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t. But then again, my brain isn¡¯t as multifaceted as yours is.¡±

    ¡°That sounded like a jibe. Was that a jibe?¡±

    ¡°That depends. How will my answer affect your thematic box of today?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯d fit right in probably. I think that it¡¯s fair to say that the chances of you having told a joke at my expense a week ago, any given day really, is pretty high.¡±

    ¡°Where do you get off saying it like I¡¯m always making fun of you, when in reality I¡¯m the one who¡¯s constantly being mocked? If anything, I¡¯m just trying to match your behavior towards me.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the modern state of public education, my friend. If you fight back against a bully, then you¡¯re the bad guy.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not how things worked in my public highschool.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the poor one, right? The rich one was private?¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t refer to the school where both my mother and sister¡ªup until this year¡ªas well as most of my friends studied, as the poor school.¡±

    ¡°What? You¡¯re the one that told me about it like that.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know. I¡¯m allowed to. And to answer your question, I¡¯m talking about both schools. Technically, the rich school was also public, as it was mostly funded by taxes. Only the general public would¡¯ve never been able to afford living in its district.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sam said, ¡°looks who coming in strong with political commentary. So rich bullies weren¡¯t a presence in the fancy school?¡±

    ¡°I never used fancy to describe it, so you¡¯re definitely not allowed to use that. And no, obviously there were rich bullies at the school. But mostly the bullies didn¡¯t bother me. And if one of them did, I never got into problem responding to them in kind.¡±

    ¡°No problem with bullying, then?¡±

    ¡°Honestly? After my first year there, none. And even before that, there were barely any. At least if you don¡¯t count snobbishness and general assholeness as bullying.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d count a slight breeze as bullying if it fit my narrative.¡± Felix pursed his lips and blew air in his direction. ¡°I¡¯m telling Sarah,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Tell me what?¡± She asked, coming from behind them.

    Sam got up to give her his spot¡ªit was Sarah¡¯s new method of ensuring Sam didn¡¯t tarry too long between sets, adjusting her own exercises so that they shadowed his. ¡°Felix and I made a pact to launch an anti-bullying public campaign once where rich and famous. Yvessa wouldn¡¯t join, but I thought that we should still try to hook you in. Just for appearances, of course, to avoid accusations of misogyny.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯d you even get to talking about bullying?¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°At this point, who knows¡­ I think it all started from me insinuating Sam was weird for focusing so much on the difference between this week and the past one.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ you¡¯re still on that, Sam?¡±

    ¡°Eh.¡± Sam jerked his hand sideways. ¡°I think I¡¯ll give it up by lunchtime. Besides comparing how I physically feel after working out, there isn¡¯t much to work with for the rest of the day.¡±

    He was only half right in the end. While there was indeed not much to contrast between today and Monday a week ago besides the physical aftereffects of his morning, he still kept the comparison going until dinner. Lessons with Dan were roughly the same¡ªunlike lunch, which he ate with Dan today¡ªjust required less on an input from Dan compared to last week when he had only just learned the new gathering methods. They worked mostly on his excavation. Dan decided that there was a lot more space for Sam to improve in that department compared to his seeking technique. And of course, half of the day was still dedicated to tracing practice, still the same thing as it had been a week ago and even before that.

    But he lost the thread of thought stretching back to last week until dinner, and only realized he lost it while trying to fall asleep, at which point it was too late to try and play catch up. Still, by the most important metric, how he felt after the day¡¯s end, today had won over last Monday by some margin. Maybe he really was getting used to his new life.

 Chapter 73

    ¡°Congratulations on your one-month anniversary,¡± was what Sarah said to start their illicit meet up. She smiled as she handed him a small gift-wrapped package.

    Sam groaned. ¡°I knew you had a hidden agenda when you told me that we¡¯ll walk to breakfast together. Well, at least your premature gift is funny,¡± he said after savagely tearing into the beautifully wrapped¡ªfor the purpose of disguise, he soon realized¡ªround object. It was a small replica of the Eiffel Tower, or ¡°la tour Eiffel,¡± as the plaque underneath the model denoted. Felix was right. Sam really has been a corrupting influence on Sarah.

    ¡°It¡¯s not premature at all. Today marks one month since your return.¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± Sam got up from placing the gift in his backpack, and they started making their way towards the mess hall. ¡°Today only marks four weeks since my return. A month doesn¡¯t pass until you arrive on the same date you¡¯re counting from in the following month.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re saying that it takes until March 30th for a month to pass after January 30th?¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s idiotic. Allow me to change my baseless metric. A month is thirty days. Four weeks aren¡¯t thirty days, ergo, a month has yet to pass.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to argue this because you want another gift?¡±

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t even want this one gift. Although, thank you very much for it. It¡¯s lovely. I¡¯m going to keep it on my desk and then have a mental breakdown during my first day of Military Training when I realize that I forgot to bring it with me. No, I¡¯m arguing because definitions are important. Accurate measurement of time using those definitions is important. That¡¯s what society is built upon. Despite what the Buddhists might have you believe with all that talk about living in the present and making a mockery of time-keeping with how they define aeons and how many of them have there been in history.¡±

    ¡°Alright, so if that¡¯s the case, that means this Saturday is your one-month anniversary. So consider the gift an early one, just in case I wouldn¡¯t have been able to give it to you in two days.¡±

    ¡°Yeah right.¡± Sam laughed. ¡°What are the chances of that happening?

    ¡°Same chances of me not celebrating your one-month anniversary.¡±

    ¡°Please tell me that the celebration starts and ends with you finishing your workout early so you could come and pick me up from spear practice so that I wouldn¡¯t have to walk all the way to breakfast alone.¡±

    ¡°That was the plan¡­ But since you¡¯ve convinced me that the anniversary isn¡¯t until Saturday, I¡¯ll have more time to cook up something even nicer.¡±

    ¡°What? Like walking me both to and from my lesson with Lin?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s certainly an idea. I¡¯ll consider it. And how was your session with Lin today?¡±

    ¡°Pretty good. We¡¯ll be adding slashing and cutting into the mix starting from next week.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great! All that in less than a month. So how long before we can start sparring with you?¡±

    ¡°Why are all of you so gung ho about sparring with me?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s the only part of training that I can feel like I could help you with anytime soon. You have Dan for everything related to magic. And you don¡¯t need help with any non-magical subject.¡±

    ¡°Whoa! Them¡¯s fighting words. You¡¯re giving me way too much credit.¡±

    ¡°Am I? The only time you¡¯ve asked for help with your studies was from Yvessa last Saturday. And you didn¡¯t even need her help.¡±

    ¡°According to her.¡±

    ¡°You made it to through the entire first trimester¡¯s material in less than three weeks. Are you seriously trying to tell me you needed her help?¡±

    ¡°Nah. But I did need to make sure that I didn¡¯t misunderstand some of the important concepts, contexts, and events.¡±

    ¡°And did you?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ But it¡¯s a reasonable worry to have. What? Was I simply supposed to assume that learning about the history of magical aliens was anything comparable to learning about regular history? How was I supposed to know that it¡¯d be that easy?¡±

    ¡°Ergo, my point.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t ¡®ergo, my point,¡¯ me. I¡¯m the guy who ¡®ergos, my point,¡¯ and you¡¯ll do very well to remember that on my four weeks¡­ Surely anniversary isn¡¯t the right word. Isn¡¯t it specifically for the passing of a year?¡±

    ¡°Yep.¡±

    ¡°So technically it can¡¯t be my one-month anniversary on Saturday?¡±

    ¡°Nope. It¡¯ll be the first mensiversary of your return. I had the same line of thought as you, so I looked up the word.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ it¡¯s awful. You aren¡¯t going to use it, right?¡±

    ¡°Nope. That ship has already sailed when we celebrated your one-week anniversary and I decided not to call it a weekiversary.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good call. I¡¯m not a big fan of the whole not yearly anniversaries¡ªnot that I¡¯m a big supporter of celebrating even the correct form the of the word, mind you¡ªbut I¡¯d hate it even more if each celebrated milestone had its own word.¡±

    ¡°Well, whatever your opinions on celebrating it, we¡¯re going to celebrate your one-month anniversary in one form or another. You agree with me, right?¡± she asked Felix and Yvessa as they sat down to join them.

    ¡°Whatever you say, boss.¡± Felix nodded, having lost the power to resist.

    ¡°Good, so let¡¯s¡ªWait!¡± Sarah whirled on Sam. ¡°What do you mean that you don¡¯t like celebrating even regular anniversaries?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much what it sounds like¡­?¡± Sam stared back at her.

    ¡°It sounds like you don¡¯t like celebrating birthdays.¡±

    ¡°Yep¡­ Birthdays certainly are the best examples for that type of yearly celebrations that I rail against. Especially as I haven¡¯t experienced many other events that were worth commemorating after a year¡¯s time.¡±

    ¡°What, like your own, or other people¡¯s?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Only my own, I guess. Even I¡¯m not so much of a grouch as to resent other people celebrating their own birthdays.¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I don¡¯t know, maybe I am. Try telling me again about your own birthday party and how you had so much fun with all your friends and family there to celebrate your achievements and shower you with love. Really try to emphasize being happy with where you were in life and that you didn¡¯t feel even slightly depressed for yet another year having passed without you meeting the arbitrary, ill-defined goal that you¡¯ve set yourself a year before.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m not going to do that. I have my own arbitrary goal for the coming year of not being murdered by Sarah.¡±

    ¡°Lucky bastard. That¡¯s such an easy one to meet.¡±

    ¡°You seriously don¡¯t like celebrating your birthday, Sam?!¡± Sarah asked, violating his personal space.

    ¡°Let me put it this way¡­ hm¡­ I don¡¯t have a funny answer. Let me think about it for a minute and then come back to me.¡±

    ¡°How about giving a serious answer, then?¡±

    Sam was saved from having to do that just yet by Yvessa coming to his rescue. ¡°I sort of understand where he¡¯s coming from,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m not a big fan of celebrating my birthdays either.¡±

    ¡°Was that from before you met me?¡± Felix asked with a smirk.

    She gave him a middle finger. ¡°Having to share a birthday with you certainly put another damper on the prospects, but no. I just didn¡¯t particularly enjoy my birthday celebration. My parents always had to make it into an official event¡ªthe requirements of maintaining social status with the nobility.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t seem fair,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°It is what it is. I don¡¯t begrudge my mother for doing what she had to do in the execution of her office.¡±

    ¡°No I wasn¡¯t talking about that. I was talking about your reason for disliking celebrating your birthday. It¡¯s actually grounded in rational reasoning. It¡¯s making me sound like a whiny asshole when my sole reason for hating mine is that I keep comparing myself to Spinoza and obliviously coming up short.¡±

    ¡°And the real reason?¡± Sarah asked, her index finger hovering ominously behind Sam¡¯s nape¡ªa cruel innovation of her physical abuse, tracing the tip of her fingers to exert zero degrees C.

    Sam gulped. ¡°Do you truly believe that threats of minor discomfort provide the best facilitator for a healthy and engaging discussion?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t try pinning this one on me. It¡¯s what you best respond to.¡±

    ¡°Maybe¡­ I¡¯ll have to think about that.¡± Sam turned back to his plate. Jolting straight once his attempted diversion had failed and Sarah¡¯s attempt at maintaining her deterrence succeeded. ¡°Sheesh¡­ alright. So, my reason for disliking celebrating my birthday is that I rarely feel like there¡¯s something to celebrate. ¡®Oh great, I¡¯m older by a year, and still living at home, unemployed, friendless¡­¡¯ you get the picture.¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t any of these things now¡­¡±

    ¡°I know. I chose them specifically so that you¡¯ll get off my case. And it¡¯s not like I was either of those latter two a year ago, yeah? But you still got the gist, right? I¡¯m honestly appalled that after all this time knowing me, I still have to explain such basic facets of my personality to you.¡±

    Sarah waved him off. ¡°Be appalled all you want. The only thing I wanted to know was that there wasn¡¯t any real reason why we shouldn¡¯t celebrate your birthday. Now that I know that there isn¡¯t, I can start making plans.¡±

    ¡°Look, you can have celebrating my birthday or you can have celebrating my actual anniversary of being returned. Not both.¡±

    Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to have both. What I¡¯ll give you instead is not celebrating the half-anniversary of your return.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take it!¡±

    ¡°Good. It¡¯ll be around the end of the school year anyway, so we¡¯ll just celebrate that instead.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Can¡¯t believe you fell into that one.¡±

    Sam looked at him with pity. ¡°What are you laughing about, birthday boy? You¡¯ll be a subject of that celebration as well.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ so?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I haven¡¯t thought that through.¡±

    ¡°When is your birthday, by the way? We should make sure that nothing else is planned around that date, so we could maximize our amount of celebrations.¡±

    Sam leaned back and smiled smugly. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you like to know?¡±

    ¡°Not really. I can always just ask Sarah. So?¡±

    Sarah furrowed her brows. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Checkmate,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°How come you haven¡¯t told me when your birthday is?!¡± Sarah turned on him.

    ¡°It¡¯s not just you. I haven¡¯t told anyone.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean? You had to put your date of birth of the forms they had you sign as a Taken.¡±

    ¡°Really? I just put the date it was three days before that.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t¡­ Let me see your ID card.¡± Sam handed it to her. ¡°You really did. And they just took it at face value.¡±

    ¡°Wait, Sarah,¡± Felix said, ¡°does that mean that your date of birth has you as being born in the 5th century?¡±

    ¡°No, of course not. But everything besides the year is true. I can¡¯t believe no one called you out on this!¡± She returned Sam the card with a frown.

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Maybe they just didn¡¯t want to interrogate the guy who had his birthday ruined by finding out that his world has been destroyed.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your birthday.¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t it? And how would you know? More importantly, even if I give you a different date now, how will you know that one¡¯s real?¡±

    ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll just turn you in to the authorities. Tell them that you lied on your forms.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no way they would care about that.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t there? And how would you know? More importantly, how could you claim to be a moral person if you lied to the government for such a reason and in such a fashion?¡±

    They stared at each other in tense silence. ¡°What are you smiling about?¡± Sarah narrowed her eyes.

    ¡°Ah, but my coup de grace, of course. Can¡¯t you guess it?¡± She didn¡¯t answer.

    Yvessa did in her stead. ¡°He¡¯ll just tell them that he didn¡¯t lie, as he considers the date of his return to also be his birthday, because he got a new body or something like that.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Nine points. Perfect deduction, but I think you could¡¯ve put it a little more eloquently.¡±

    Sarah grumbled. ¡°There¡¯s no way we¡¯re ending this day without you telling me when your birthday really is.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d love that. Having today stretch on for forever? That¡¯s goodbye to worrying about not being able to graduate in two and a half years.¡±

    ¡°I have an idea, Sarah,¡± Felix said, ¡°why don¡¯t you just pick a date, any date, and decide that¡¯ll be when you celebrate Sam¡¯s birthday? This way might even be better than him telling you the truth, because you could pick the date that you want his birthday to be. For the purpose of maximizing the opportunity for celebrations.¡±

    ¡°That outrageous!¡± Sam objected. ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to do that!¡±

    ¡°Why not? We can just say that for this or that reason we can¡¯t celebrate your birthday at its actual date, so we¡¯ll be celebrating it early, slash, late. After all, it¡¯s just the celebration. It doesn¡¯t have to be on the actual date, does it?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s so incredibly conniving. I have never respected you more. You know¡­ all this talk of birthday parties has reminded me of a funny story from my childhood.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Felix rubbed his hands. ¡°Do tell.¡±

    ¡°How have you not learned your lesson by now?¡± Yvessa asked Felix.

    ¡°Relax.¡± Sam waved her off. ¡°It¡¯s a good one, fun for the whole family, and it¡¯s super short because I was really young and I don¡¯t really remember the details. May I have the stage, please?¡±

    ¡°All of a sudden, you need to ask for permission?¡±

    ¡°Good point. So, a little background for the story. I was in¡­ third grade, I think. I¡¯m not sure, but it must¡¯ve been around that time because I¡¯m pretty certain that by fifth grade I was already in my elementary school social pariah stage and didn¡¯t have any friends.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ¡­¡± Sarah rubbed her eyes.

    ¡°I hope that¡¯s all for the backstory,¡± Felix said. ¡°Because so far it¡¯s not really short.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s short by my standards!¡± Sam said. ¡°You should all be aware by now that I¡¯m not one for brevity, especially when levity is at play. Anyway, so I was around third grade, and the other bit of the backstory you need to know is that, by that point, I never really had a non-family birthday party. Don¡¯t know why, I blame my parents because any blame I lay at my nine-year-old feet will just have to revert back to them, considering my age.

    ¡°But, my parents came in clutch, and did do something in order to remedy their progeny¡¯s social isolation from his peers during his birthdays. They concocted a plan to join me to a birthday party of two other kids who were born around the same date as I was. Now, I don¡¯t know the specifics or the behind the scenes; where it was held, who was paying, who came, none of that shit. Hell, I don¡¯t even remember if I ever went to the fucking party. What I do remember, is that in the days before the party was to take place, I got into an argument or a fight with one of my fellow celebrants. And this is where it gets spicy. Because I remember the kid threatening me that he¡¯ll have me¡­ removed, I guess is the right word, from the party unless I backed down or something. Now, I don¡¯t know if his threat was credible¡ªlike I said, I don¡¯t know anything else about that event¡ªbut going by my later perception of the memory, I assume that meant he, or more likely his parents, were doing me a favor by adding me to their son¡¯s birthday party and that I was reliant on remaining on his good side for me to remain in the party.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s awful¡­¡± Sarah said. ¡°I can see why you might hate celebrating your birthdays after something like that.¡±

    ¡°What?! That¡¯s not the reason why I hate celebrating my birthdays! That¡¯s a just a funny story. Besides, Yvessa¡¯s the one who hates celebrating her birthdays, I just hate the birthdays themselves, celebration or no celebration.¡±

    ¡°How is that a funny story?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Because it shows kids are dumb little assholes? It¡¯s just funny. You guys think so, right?¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°Eh¡­ maybe you just didn¡¯t tell it right.¡±

    ¡°And you, Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°I guess I can see the humor in it. I¡¯ve got a similar story. Only I was the dumb little asshole kid. And I threatened not to come to someone¡¯s birthday, so I had even less of a leg to stand on.¡±

    ¡°Were you at least more popular than the other kid?¡±

    ¡°I was a Terran child in the Sarechi court. Of course I wasn¡¯t. And it¡¯s not like my parents were really going to let me skip on Erianna¡¯s party. They would¡¯ve dragged me there kicking and screaming.¡±

    ¡°Now, hold on a minute,¡± Felix said. ¡°That¡¯s a plot twist. Making your story already way better than Sam¡¯s. You got into a fight with your future best friend¡ª¡±

    ¡°She was already my best friend at the time. Which was, or at least I¡¯d like to think so, the main reason why my parents didn¡¯t allow me to rescind my acceptance to go.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ and how old were you?¡±

    ¡°I think I was six or seven. There¡¯s really not much to tell. We got into a fight one day. More than a month before the party was to take place. I didn¡¯t visit her for a couple of days. But then we met up again and made up, both of us apologizing. By the time her birthday actually came, we had already forgotten about our fight. It wasn¡¯t until like a decade later when her older brother reminded us of that happening, and it¡¯s become something of a running joke ever since.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam asked Felix. ¡°That, is better than my story? That heartwarming story about a cute dimpled-cheek little Yvessa and her best friend getting into a fight and making up after three days? That¡¯s like a half a chapter, at best, from a slice of life manga starring a friend group of four quirky girls.¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°Her story was also shorter. And she didn¡¯t try to make us feel bad by feeding us bullcrap about how sad and lonely her childhood was.¡±

    ¡°What?! That¡¯s outrageous! I wasn¡¯t trying to make anyone feel bad about me or my childhood. That stuff just comes out of me naturally. And also, I want to reiterate this, it was a funny story. If there¡¯s any sadness in the background information, it only serves to enrich the comedy.¡±

    Sarah cleared her throat. ¡°So now that you¡¯ve got your sad background information and funny anecdote from your childhood out of the way, will you please tell me when your birthday is?¡±

    ¡°As long as you promise not to have a party for me.¡±

    ¡°I will only promise to start planning it a week prior and discuss with you its size, length, and invitees.¡±

    ¡°Do I have a final say in the discussion?¡±

    She paused in consideration. ¡°Fine. But you have to agree to some of my suggestion. You can¡¯t say no to everything.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ Wow¡­ That¡­ I don¡¯t know about that. I don¡¯t think that putting a limit over a person¡¯s ability to reject something is going to fly in the current social climate.¡±

    ¡°Sam¡­¡±

    ¡°Fine, I¡¯m willing to agree to those terms.¡± He told the table his real date of birth. Minus the year, of course, that wasn¡¯t part of the negotiation and he wasn¡¯t about to give it up for free.

    Sarah narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°And this is the real date? You¡¯re not just telling us a fake date in order to make sure that I¡¯ll abide by the terms?¡±

    ¡°I have thought of doing that. But I didn¡¯t. This is the actual date. I assure you. Make with it what you will.¡±

    ¡°Good. Now, for Saturday¡ª¡±

    ¡°Surely just dinner, and maybe a non-alcoholic toast, will do for Saturday, right? No need to do anything too different.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me, mate,¡± Felix said. ¡°She had me in her pocket the minute she said we¡¯ll be having fancy drinks.¡±

    ¡°Fancy drinks?¡± Sam turned to Sarah. ¡°You¡¯ve already made plans?¡±

    ¡°Yes. And I took into consideration your weekend schedule so you can¡¯t complain that I¡¯m taking away some of your work time. We¡¯ll have dinner, order in from a pricey restaurant, and drinks, bought from a pricey liquor store, in your room while watching a movie.¡±

    ¡°How does that take into consideration my weekend schedule?¡±

    ¡°By moving dinner later in the evening so that you¡¯ll have your post-dinner study time brought forward. And since we¡¯ll be meeting in your room, you don¡¯t even have to waste time going to the mess hall and back.¡±

    ¡°This sucks! I can¡¯t argue against that logic. Yvessa, you¡¯re the only one who hasn¡¯t said anything. You have to save me! Surely you have something to argue in disfavor to this decadent event?¡±

    ¡°Nah, it¡¯s fine with me. I don¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°What if I pick a fight with you and you disinvite yourself from the event?¡±

    ¡°I think in that case, Felix and Sarah will be playing the role of my parents by forcing me to play nice with my best friend¡¯s future second in command.¡± She smiled sweetly.

    ¡°Ugh! Fucking Farris and his stupid jokes! Always coming back to bite me in the ass. I knew only bad things could come from not immediately rejecting the prospect of being subordinate to a woman. Fine! Whatever. I gotta go,¡± he said with a sigh as he got up. ¡°Going by yesterday, today¡¯s lesson with Dan is going to be stretched for time, so I¡¯m heading in early and I¡¯ll probably finish a little late. Felix! Make sure to make a joke about me already being subordinate to Sarah¡¯s whims in my stead. Text me the joke so that I could rate you on it.¡±

    ¡°Not doing that,¡± Felix said as he left them. And it wasn¡¯t until dinner that Sam learned that he meant both parts of the order, and not just the request for a text.

    He did end up being late for dinner. Thankfully, his friends took his words to heart, so they pushed their dinner meeting by twenty minutes. Unfortunately, Sam was late by thirty-five. But at least no one could complain that the conversation during dinner focused on Sam and his personal life. Because Sarah would¡¯ve glared at them, of course, not because there was no basis for that, as they mostly talked about the basics of magical theory that everyone else at the table but him had already graduated from. Although, judging from the fact that all of them were enthusiastically engaged in the conversation (or, at least, just Felix and Yvessa, as Sarah¡¯s level of enthusiasm wasn¡¯t a clear signifier of that), the knowledge wasn¡¯t that far removed from them as to completely bore them with its infantility.

    The fact that his study time encompassed two meals today (as Dan also joined him for lunch, and this time for a change, chose to keep up the lecture) made Sam feel better about the danger of losing some of his study time on Saturday. He wasn¡¯t convinced by Sarah¡¯s ¡°plan¡± to accommodate his unsanctioned modification of her original schedule. She had ulterior motives, and at this point, they were crystal clear to him.

    Not that he wasn¡¯t happy about having a celebration. OK¡­ maybe he wasn¡¯t happy about having a celebration. But that was only because he had an aversion to celebrating stuff that had to do with him. But he was definitely happy about getting to spend his Saturday evening with friends, eating nice food and avoiding fancy drinks that weren¡¯t worth the calories. Now if he could only reconcile that happiness with the great pangs of unwillingness that he felt whenever he had five more of anything to go during the workout that evening.

    Still, happiness carried the day. What with workout being the easiest (of the cardio ones) he had all week¡ªboth during and after¡ªand with the rest of his evening passing smoothly. He had to stretch his self-studying time by half an hour because he wanted to finish an extra section. Which meant pilfering half an hour from his untouchable hour and a half block of free time, as he didn¡¯t want to lose out on his cultivation. But he did all that without feeling a tiny bit bad about it, so he went to bed and fell asleep without the slightest trouble.

    That sense of self-satisfaction and complacency with his given efforts persisted through Friday as well, with him taking his shortest breaks yet while working out and using all that time (less than ten minutes, as he did take a longer shower by accident) in order to cultivate. He might¡¯ve been able to cultivate for five more minutes even, but he and Yvessa got into a discussion about the differences between seeking and holding techniques, which lasted the group all through breakfast (even sliding, at points, into subjects unintelligible yet to Sam, and thus forbidden by Sarah, without her immediately shutting the conversation).

    Lessons with Dan carried on as was routine at this point of the week, and this time he was only late to dinner by five minutes (but still twenty-five to their usual meeting time) and with the rest of the evening wide open afterwards, he powered through his usual Friday night lethargy without trouble. Using his knowledge of tomorrow¡¯s planned event to satisfy his lack of any extra free time today. He went back to studying magical theory from the highschool level textbook for the first time since starting his lessons with Dan. And he even ended the day with a first. He was able to complete a whole five cycles of cultivating through his (admittedly much longer than usual) shower.

 Chapter 74

    He woke up the following day with a niggling sense of disbelief about an even more insidious sense of certainty: That having spent a whole month in this new world and in this new reality; he was starting to get used to them. More importantly, that he was starting to get used to his demanding schedule; to the fact that not only did he have to wake up the same time on the weekend as the rest of week (after all, he was already conditioned to doing that before his accident made keeping an identical sleep schedule meaningless) but that he had to leave home (and was he starting to see his dorm room as home?) at the same time as the rest of the workweek for the purpose of what was essentially, work.

    Not to mention that the work was of a very physical nature (although, he will never downplay the mental demand Lin¡¯s lessons put on him). And that it wasn¡¯t the only item of work on his agenda for the day. In short, despite the fact that he would¡¯ve never imagined himself being able to keep to this kind of schedule, both week and weekend, the fact that he had just done that for the last four weeks was undeniable.

    Which might go a long way to explain why Sam found himself opening the door to his friends after yet another day of following that grueling schedule, without much of the mental fatigue he was certain ought to have been there.

    ¡°Wait,¡± he said as he opened the door and saw only one friend of the supposed three, ¡°where are Sarah and Felix?¡±

    ¡°Good evening, Yvessa,¡± said Yvessa, ¡°good to see you.¡±

    ¡°Good evening, Yvessa, that kind of reproaching remark doesn¡¯t suit you. Need help with that?¡± he asked as he closed the door behind her, pointing to the same two drink coolers from their last planned Saturday celebration.

    ¡°You¡¯re actually offering?¡±

    ¡°Well, I got a lot more buff in those last three weeks. Also, I stand to lose nothing by offering, as there¡¯s nothing to help with.¡±

    Yvessa chuckled as she laid down the coolers by the foot of his bed. ¡°I figured as much. The delivery from the restaurant is running late, so Sarah and Felix are still waiting for them at the gate. They sent me ahead with the drinks to help you get the place ready. As they assumed that you wouldn¡¯t have made any effort in that department.¡±

    ¡°They assumed correctly. As I was promised that I would be able to transition seamlessly from cultivating straight to eating, thereby not wasting any studying or training time¡­ Also, what is there to prepare for?¡±

    ¡°Nothing really. I assume that this is simply one of Sarah¡¯s ploys to get you to train less on the weekend.¡±

    ¡°What? Does she think that simply because you¡¯re here that I won¡¯t allow myself to ignore you and go back to training? That¡¯s absurd!¡±

    ¡°True. We could always both use this time to cultivate.¡±

    ¡°Yep. That¡¯s what I like so much about gathering. You can always start doing it, no matter where you are or how much time you¡¯ll have. It makes it so that you¡¯ll always have something productive to do with your time.¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°Unfortunately for you, though, I don¡¯t feel like cultivating right now. And because there¡¯s no way I¡¯m going to allow myself to just sit in your room in silence while you cultivate, you¡¯re going to have to entertain me for a change.¡±

    ¡°What? What do you mean, ¡®don¡¯t feel like cultivating?¡¯ You¡¯re a prodigy. You should always be willing to spend time bettering yourself if you¡¯ve got nothing better to do! Like Sarah does.¡±

    ¡°Always be willing to spend time bettering myself¡­? People like that don¡¯t actually exist. Even insane workaholics like Sarah, or Erianna, or you, can¡¯t and shouldn¡¯t act like that. No one can keep up with the kind of training that you¡¯ve just described.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s ridiculous! All three of you guys, and especially Sarah, have been spending the last three weeks doing exactly what I¡¯ve just described because I¡¯ve been trying to do that and I¡¯ve been basing myself on you three.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I don¡¯t know how to tell you this, but you¡¯ve been pushing yourself way harder than any of us for the last three weeks. And even though Sarah was sort of keeping up with you for the first two, she started dropping back during the last week. Not to mention that the time she spent training was greater than her average, which for her is already more than mine or Felix, because she had a lot to make up for.¡±

    Sam looked at her, trying to find the telltale clues of sarcasm and exaggeration somewhere in her tone. ¡°Come off it,¡± he said when he was unable to find what he was looking for. ¡°I get enough of that kind of baseless compliments from Sarah. I don¡¯t need you to join the mix as well.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to compliment you, nor are my statements baseless. I¡¯m just stating a fact: You might feel inclined to use this couple of minutes for cultivating, but I don¡¯t. I¡¯ve cultivated plenty today already, and I don¡¯t want to spend any more of my time on training or studying. Matter of fact, I¡¯d have been just as happy having this dinner at our usual time because I had no plans to do anything after it. Same with Felix and maybe even Sarah. You¡¯re the only one of us who keeps so busy a schedule on a Saturday.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not buying it.¡±

    ¡°No? By now, I know your weekend schedule by heart. So tell me then, how much of your allotted free time did you actually use for its intended purposes today?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ today¡¯s not such a good example. Because I asked Lin to keep our lesson going longer than usual, as I wanted to roll breakfast and lunch into one. Because I knew we were going to gorge ourselves at dinner, not for any other reason. And he happily¡ªor at least he didn¡¯t showcase any unhappiness¡ªagreed, since he didn¡¯t have any other obligations for the day. Also, because we¡¯re starting slashing and cutting next week¡ªwell, cutting first, maybe we won¡¯t get to slashing just yet¡ªso he probably thought that I¡¯d be better off making sure my foundations were as firm as possible.¡±

    Yvessa sat on his not-desk chair and stretched with a feigned, bored yawn. ¡°So what does that mean, ¡®rolling breakfast and lunch into one?¡¯ That you only took time off for one meal?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much, yeah. I grabbed a couple of snacks for later in the day and ate them instead of going out for lunch. I mean, you guys do it yourself as well sometimes¡ªplenty of students do, by how filled the mess hall is at lunch, especially lunch on Saturdays, when compared to other meals¡ªso don¡¯t come at me saying that it proves anything extraordinary on my part.¡±

    ¡°That depends. What did you do with that extra time you got for skipping lunch? Just roll it into your midday leisure time?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ not today. But that¡¯s only¡ª¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s what? The hour for lunch, and the hour after, that weren¡¯t used per your ¡®ideal¡¯ Saturday schedule? The schedule that was supposed to ensure that you have at least four extra hours of leisure time on the weekend? That you were adamant about needing to have when you complained to us about it numerous times?¡±

    ¡°Only an hour and a half! If lunch takes any longer than half an hour, then it¡¯s because it became a social event, so it counts as part of the after lunch hour of rest.¡±

    ¡°Hour and a half? If I remember correctly, it was only an hour a week ago.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s different! I didn¡¯t have to spend time on lunch because you guys brought it for me. That half an hour spent on lunch is an obligation of the body anyway. So there¡¯s no ¡®rest¡¯ lost using it for studying like I did last week.¡±

    Yvessa shook her head with a sigh. ¡°You have got to see that you¡¯re not making any sense. You¡¯re only deluding yourself at this point.¡±

    ¡°Alright¡­ I¡¯ll grant you that last Saturday I worked during some of the time I was supposed to rest. But don¡¯t forget that it was offset by dinner in the end.¡±

    ¡°Was it?¡±

    Sam gulped. He hadn¡¯t worked out the exact arithmetic of how his leisure and training time compared during that day. ¡°I¡¯m not sure¡­ But that was just a one off. The week before that, I was perfectly in line with my weekend schedule!¡±

    ¡°More like that first Saturday was just a one off. Considering today, no?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s different. Today the schedule is all fudged up.¡±

    ¡°How? We made today¡¯s plans specifically to cater to your usual schedule. There was nothing preventing you from keeping the same ratio of free and work time as your ideal schedule. Did you? Even taking your half an hour of lunch out of the equation, there¡¯s still the hour after that. And I know for a fact that you didn¡¯t use it because Felix told me you¡¯ve texted him some questions during that time. Unless you¡¯ve moved it forward today?¡±

    ¡°What? Do the three of you just have a Sam group chat? Relaying any information you guys have on me to each other?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question¡­¡±

    ¡°I could say the same thing about you.¡±

    Yvessa chuckled. ¡°Your question was nonsensical. But no, we don¡¯t have any group chat dedicated to you. After all, the regular group chat fills that role quite nicely already.¡±

    ¡°Very funny.¡±

    ¡°I thought so too. Why I said it. But to answer your question, me and Felix went to combat practice together. He told me then.¡±

    ¡°What a fucking gossip.¡±

    ¡°Not really. He just said that, based on the questions you were asking him, that you were making really fast progress. He then wondered how much of it was you and how much of it was Dan.¡±

    ¡°And then you moved on and stopped talking about me because you¡¯re normal people, right?¡±

    ¡°Just so. Although you¡¯d probably want to change that phrasing for the future when Sarah is within earshot. So that¡¯s your question answered then. What about mine?¡±

    Sam grumbled. ¡°Fine¡­ You¡¯re right. I didn¡¯t take my usual hour break after lunch today. But! That¡¯s only because I was on a roll, and I wanted to use my momentum to keep going. And I did have a fifteen minute break while waiting for Felix to text me back. I used it to eat the snacks. Even watched some videos during it so you can¡¯t say that it was just lunch.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not saying anything of the sort because I can¡¯t bother to fight over meaningless technicalities like you¡¯re doing for some reason. The only thing I am saying, is that I¡¯m not being hyperbolic in the least when I tell you that you¡¯ve been working harder than any of us three. And I don¡¯t care if you believe me or not. I¡¯m not trying to convince you of anything. I¡¯m just trying to pass the time talking because I don¡¯t have the patience to use the time we¡¯re waiting for cultivating.¡±

    ¡°You have to realize that what you¡¯re saying right now doesn¡¯t match up with your usual lines towards me, though, right? You¡¯re the one who¡¯s always on me about how I have to work harder and keep pushing myself.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve been over this already. I never said that you were taking it easy or being lazy. All I said, and I stand by it, is that the harder you push yourself now, the easier it will be for you in the long run. Because when you will eventually¡ªand you will¡ªhave to slow down, your new routine will be easier to maintain. And I think that I¡¯ve proved myself right. Obviously, you can¡¯t keep pushing yourself like this forever, no human can. But when you do end up reaching a breaking point, your new ¡®easy¡¯ schedule will still be pretty damn hard by most people¡¯s standards.¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t I keep going as I am now, then? You¡¯re always on about your best friend and how hard she pushes herself, after all. If she can keep this kind of schedule, then why can¡¯t I?¡±

    Yvessa raised an eyebrow. ¡°So suddenly you¡¯re convinced that you are working harder than me or Felix? As hard as Erianna is?¡±

    ¡°No. But I just take offense that however hard I¡¯m working right now when compared to other people, that I can¡¯t keep at it.¡± After all, I have to. Somehow. I just have to hope that it¡¯ll get easier eventually.

    ¡°Look, Erianna is amazing. I¡¯m always saying that as you¡¯ve just claimed. Just like I¡¯m always saying that it¡¯s not healthy for a person¡¯s mental health to compare oneself to her. She¡¯s that rare combination where both talents and willpower are enough on their own to make a person a prodigy, but when put together, it¡¯s enough for even prodigies like me to feel envious. And, she gets the added bonus of still truly enjoying many aspects of her training even after this long. You might think that cultivating is fine and dandy right now, that you¡¯re able to stomach doing it whenever you have free time. But will you be able to keep it up after eight years of cultivating daily? Will you be able to derive satisfaction, a true sense of fulfillment and joy, from simply practicing your combat forms for hours every day? Will you always feel thirsty for new knowledge and never feel discouraged when you¡¯re having a hard time digesting said knowledge? Obviously not. At least not always. Neither can I can, and neither can Felix nor Sarah. And neither can Erianna. But out of all the people I know, she¡¯s the one who comes closest to the ideal of always being happy to train. Because that¡¯s the kind of mindset Erianna has. That¡¯s what it takes for people like us to keep dedicating so much of of time to strengthening ourself efficiently.¡±

    Sam scoffed. ¡°There¡¯s no way that you¡¯re not being hyperbolic now.¡±

    She turned her hand in agreement. ¡°You¡¯re right, I am. But I¡¯m closer to the truth than you might think. If¡ªI suppose when is the better word. When you meet Erianna, you¡¯ll see that she really is like that on some level. Certainly on her best days, she is. But talking up my best friend wasn¡¯t my intention. I know for a fact that there are other people who work just as hard as she does, and some even more. And they¡¯re able to do it almost consistently from the day of their Awakening all the way to their combat deployment, when their training has to be set aside from time to time. You want the truth, Sam, of what these people are like? A lot of them, fuck it, all of them, aren¡¯t what you would call healthy, well-adjusted individuals. They have no other goal in life aside from being strong, no other reason to live. They can keep going weeks on end without needing to take a break because they have nothing to do during a break. And even those kinds of people still end up breaking if they push themselves too hard.

    ¡°You¡¯re not like that. I¡¯m not like that. And I¡¯ll tell you a secret: Erianna sure as hell isn¡¯t like that. She¡¯s just able to seem like that because she truly enjoys most aspects of the process of getting stronger. In a way, she¡¯s not really working any harder than you or me. She¡¯s certainly not pushing herself as hard as, let¡¯s say, you are. In the language of utility that you love using so much, her pain, her lack of pleasure, for keeping to her schedule is much lesser than yours. Which is why she can, sometimes, work as hard as you¡¯ve been during the last two weeks. But I doubt that even she will be able to spend two and a half years having less than ten hours of free time every week like you seem hell bent on doing.¡±

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°Who are some of the people who are able to train constantly that you mentioned?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not giving you any more ¡®role models.¡¯ Did you not comprehend anything of what I said?¡±

    ¡°I did. I¡¯m just curious. I¡¯m also curious how come you¡¯re all of a sudden adopted this Sarah persona of worrying about how much time I spent working compared to doing things just for fun.¡±

    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Yvessa tilted her head, apparently caught unaware that she was doing that. Or maybe surprised that Sam would misinterpret her behavior as such, for she said with a laugh, ¡°I assure you, that wasn¡¯t my intention. How hard you push yourself is of no interest to me, aside from being your friend and being aware of your value for the war effort. I have no problem with you keeping as you are now, at least as long as you stay with same mental state and don¡¯t run the risk of having a meltdown. My intention was simply to present you with the way I see things. And then defend my assertion when you rejected it with no basis. Act upon my words or don¡¯t. I don¡¯t care as long as you¡¯re not wrongly convinced that you and I are equally putting in the same effort in our training.¡±

    ¡°Or that I don¡¯t have the conceit of thinking myself any better than Erianna.¡± Sam chuckled.

    Yvessa waved him off with a smile. ¡°I¡¯m not her uncle. I don¡¯t care to defend her honor like that. I was simply using her as an example. Also¡ªjust so you don¡¯t think I¡¯m overhyping her¡ªlike I said, Erianna doesn¡¯t always put in the same hours that you did the last two weeks, so if you keep this going indefinitely I will have to give you the credit for that. More importantly, I don¡¯t think that you truly understood just how easier it is for her to train when compared to us. And It¡¯s not just the psychological stuff that I mentioned¡ªall of us here at the academy enjoy training and studying more than the average person, and there are definitely plenty of people who enjoy it just as much as Erianna if not more, Sarah¡¯s a good example¡ªit¡¯s the stuff around it as well. Think how much easier you have it, thanks to the attention you¡¯re getting compared to if you were treated as a regular cadet.¡±

    ¡°And double it for her?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I won¡¯t say anything about which of you is getting more help and attention overall. But even if you just think of her as getting the same amount of help. You have to remember that it was the same amount ever since she was twelve-years-old. And that¡¯s just help when it comes to training. She¡¯s still a princess after all, so she never had to spend time on her days walking to lunch if she didn¡¯t want to.¡±

    ¡°Wow. You¡¯ve talked her up so much, only to bring it all down in a couple of sentences.¡±

    ¡°I was just trying to give you the full picture. That the real world isn¡¯t as simple as one person being better or more hard-working than the other person. Everyone has a different background and a different context guiding their actions and thoughts.¡±

    ¡°Still, in summary, is your best friend amazing or not?¡±

    ¡°Of course she is.¡±

    ¡°Good, because you keep flip-flopping on her. One moment she¡¯s this force of nature that no one should compare themselves to. And the next moment there are people out there who actually have it harder than her but are still able to push themselves harder than her as well. Not to mention you switching between her working harder than me, just the same, or less. I really don¡¯t know where to place her with all these mixed signals.¡±

    ¡°Erianna isn¡¯t the point. Forget about her. Just realize that in the last week, you have spent the most time training or studying out of the four of us. That¡¯s all I wanted to say.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°Fine¡­ we¡¯ll agree to disagree on that point. So, moving on to make Erianna the point, you think maybe I should join you on Monday to meet her? Share in your call to Maynil like you did mine?¡±

    ¡°No. And I¡¯m not scheduled to talk with her on Monday. Only Mom and Dad.¡±

    ¡°What?! Wait a minute, I was pretty sure that your routine went: a call back home every other week, with every fourth week a call with your bestie as well. You mean to tell me that wasn¡¯t the truth?¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°No. And why do you care so much about that anyway? The only surefire thing was me making a call to my parents every other week. After I managed to talk my mom down from every week like I had to during the first trimester. There isn¡¯t any schedule for my calls with Erianna. When she can join the call, she does. When she can¡¯t, she doesn¡¯t. She couldn¡¯t two weeks ago and she can¡¯t this week. If we really need or want to talk through an inter-world call, we¡¯ll just schedule a call for whatever day works best. Again, why do you care so much? You want to meet her that badly?¡±

    ¡°Nah, that¡¯s not it. You know how it is with me. My mind craves the same, unchanging order of things week in and week out, even if it¡¯s to do with other people. And I was joking about wanting meeting her. Although¡­ I have to admit that I am kind of curious as to what she can tell me about our shared mentor¡­ She¡¯s not taking the news that she has to share a mentor with me badly, is she?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah¡­ She doesn¡¯t like anyone, especially not a low-born like you, to be related or compared with her in any way.¡± She laughed. ¡°She doesn¡¯t care about that one way or the other, I assure you.¡±

    ¡°Really, nothing? I mean, she could at least be¡­ curious, no? We¡¯ve talked about her plenty and we have just as little reason to care about her as she does about me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not responsible for the things she cares about, nor for the fact that you guys keep bringing her up. In all honesty, we¡¯ve only texted in the last four weeks since we spoke. And believe it or not, we both had more important things to talk about than you. You only came up tangentially.¡±

    ¡°How tangentially?¡±

    ¡°Really? Now I have to waste time telling you what I told other people about you?¡±

    ¡°Hey, you¡¯re the one who wanted to use this time to talk instead of cultivating.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ I asked how was she enduring the fallout from Farris¡¯ recent undertakings¡ªboth the summit and you¡ªand she told me that so far everything was the same as far as she was concerned¡­¡±

    ¡°What? That¡¯s it? I never even came up in the conversation!¡±

    ¡°Since when do you want other people to talk about you?¡±

    ¡°I want reciprocity! We¡¯ve talked about her plenty of times before. Just now, we¡¯ve been mostly speaking about her. The least she could do is ask how I was doing.¡±

    ¡°You never once asked how she was doing.¡±

    ¡°Why would I? People keep telling me that she¡¯s so amazing. Besides, you just told me that she was doing fine, ¡®everything was the same,¡¯ which I¡¯m assuming counts as fine, since she¡¯s so amazing.¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°Alright. Next time we talk, I¡¯ll tell her all about you. That was the plan anyway.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°Hmm? Well, she did ask me about you, and about Farris making himself your mentor. I told her that I¡¯ll ask for your permission and give her the rundown next time we talk.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t really need my permission to tell someone like her that kind of stuff about me. You know that, right?¡±

    ¡°I figured that I¡¯ll run it by you anyway, seeing as you keeping making such a big fuss of people knowing who you are and knowing stuff about you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I keep flip-flopping on that. Permission granted then, I guess. After all, I already know so much about her. Not to mention how immoral it¡¯d be to devoid people the pleasure of spending time talking about me.¡±

    ¡°And what a great pleasure that is. It¡¯s truly incredible that I¡¯m allowed to use the precious few moments that I have to talk face to face with my best friend in order to discuss you. Some might think that with so much of my daily life already devoted to talking about you, I do not deserve the privilege.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Well, talk about me or don¡¯t. That¡¯s up to you. May I remind you that my suggestion for how to use this¡ªvery long already¡ªwait had to do with us keeping complete silence? You¡¯re just grumpy because you¡¯re hungry.¡±

    ¡°Unlike you, I ate lunch. But you¡¯re right about the delay. That¡¯s why I don¡¯t like ordering food. I don¡¯t get why we had to order anyway. The mess hall is more than adequate.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t ask me. I don¡¯t care where my food comes from, as long as I¡¯m not the one who has to waste time making it. Pour you a drink?¡± She nodded for assent, so Sam bent down to the cooler. He handed her a glass bottle of nonalcoholic beer. ¡°Not really pour, I guess. And I can¡¯t open bottles with my bare hands. I assume a level 2 like you won¡¯t have a problem with that, though?¡±

    She took the bottle from his hands and, without a hint of effort, twisted the cap off. ¡°Thank you,¡± she said before putting the cap in the trash and sitting down on the floor. ¡°Ah¡­ that hits the spot.¡±

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe you like that shit.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re gonna have that conversation again?¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± he said as he grabbed himself a bottle of coke and joined her on the floor. He didn¡¯t even have time to take a sip before a knock came from the door. He looked at Yvessa. But she just started straight ahead with the bottle placidly cradled to her lips, in a calm denial of the existence of an outside world that required her response. Sam got up with a sigh to open the door.

    ¡°Sorry we¡¯re late,¡± Felix said as he and Sarah made their way in, laden with dinner goods, ¡°but blame the restaurant. Or the delivery, I don¡¯t know. Anyway, we¡¯re here. Put that movie on and let¡¯s start eating. I¡¯m starving.¡±

    ¡°I was supposed to pick a movie?¡± Sam asked him as he started helping Sarah set the floor.

    ¡°Man¡­ I don¡¯t have time for your bullshit right now. I need to pee. We better be ready to eat when I¡¯m back.¡±

    ¡°What? That doesn¡¯t make any sense. How long does it take a person to pee? There¡¯s no way we¡¯re going to finish in time.¡±

    With the exception of her arm and lips, Yvessa stayed motionless. ¡°I¡¯m not helping. I already did my dues by bringing the drinks and entertaining you while we waited.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not the one that wanted to be entertained! Besides, you call what we talked about entertainment?¡±

    Sarah laughed and laid her hand on Sam¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Go put on the movie. I¡¯ll finish here. You did pick a movie, right?¡±

    ¡°I did. But I¡¯m not happy about it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve brought forth your concerns already. They were noted. But I said we¡¯re going to have a fancy dinner while watching a movie tonight. So that¡¯s what we¡¯re doing.¡±

    Sam grumbled but followed Sarah¡¯s directives: opening the movie and turning the monitor ninety degrees so that it could serve the four people sitting and eating at the front of the room. ¡°You know¡­ the way you¡¯re abusing your authority over us is really fitting, considering the subject matter of my chosen film.¡±

    ¡°Oh no. What¡¯d you pick?¡±

    ¡°Das Boot.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it about World War Two?¡±

    ¡°It is. About a German submarine.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t really pick that, right?¡±

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t. The director¡¯s cut was too long.¡±

    ¡°Why is the food still not ready?¡± Felix asked as he stepped out of the bathroom.

    ¡°Pee longer next time,¡± Yvessa said, still seated as before.

    Felix gave her a middle finger and set out to help Sam and Sarah with plating dinner. When all was ready, Sam clicked play and then sat down to enjoy the finer things in life. ¡°So what are we watching?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Wait and see,¡± Sam said just as the opening scene started playing.

    ¡°Sam¡­¡± Yvessa slowly uttered his name with a deepening frown on her face. ¡°Who told you about this movie?¡±

    ¡°Felix.¡± Sam jerked a finger towards his accomplice.

    ¡°What the hell Felix?! I thought we were going to see a good movie. Not this crap!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Felix asked with a feigned shrug. ¡°This is might not be a good movie. But it¡¯s the perfect movie to watch with your friends while eating. Also, educational for Sam.¡±

    Sam covered his upper lip with his lower one and shook his head. ¡°I doubt it.¡±

    ¡°Will someone tell me what¡¯s the movie called and what¡¯s it about?¡± Sarah asked.

    Sam took it upon himself. ¡°You know that John Wayne flick¡ªgod how I love referring to movies like that¡ªwhere he played Genghis Khan? Widely regarded as one of the worst movies of all time, and that¡¯s without taking into account the whole alleged cancer because of nuclear fallout angle?¡±

    Sarah nodded. ¡°I heard about it. So?¡±

    ¡°This is the elven equivalent of that movie. Only without people getting sick. Which, I¡¯ll admit, disappoints me somewhat. Ah, here¡¯s the title card.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ I remember hearing about this! Wasn¡¯t it accused of being racist propaganda?¡±

    Yvessa rubbed her eyes. ¡°Yes, but that one isn¡¯t true. It¡¯s only because the leading actor is a minor aristocrat from a Moon-Sworn family. Although, he¡¯s definitely racist. Even by Moon-Sworn standards.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Didn¡¯t know that. I don¡¯t want anyone to assume my joke comparison was any cleverer than what I originally intended.¡±

    ¡°So why are we watching this movie if the leading actor¡¯s a racist?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°The movie itself isn¡¯t racist,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°It¡¯s set before Maynil¡¯s integration, after all, so it can¡¯t be¡ª¡±

    ¡°Eh¡­¡± Sam twirled his hand up and down. ¡°Probably want to avoid making any such statements in the future.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t. The director¡¯s a Terran. It was half funded by a Terran company. The movie¡¯s shit, but it isn¡¯t racist.¡±

    ¡°Why do you know so much about the movie?¡± Felix asked her with a laugh.

    ¡°Believe it or not, but it was so bad that the backlash to it caused a minor diplomatic incident between the kingdom and the republic. My mom told me about it. Thankfully, I never had to watch it¡­ until now.¡±

    ¡°So what makes it so bad?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°The usual suspects. Historical inaccuracy. Awful acting. Horrible effects. Too long and disjointed. Nonsensical writing. Again, I never had to watch it before, so that¡¯s only what I heard and read online.¡± She lightly slapped Sam¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Why¡¯d you have to pick this piece of shit?¡±

    ¡°Hold on now,¡± Sam said, ¡°don¡¯t be putting all the blame on me. You¡¯re always on me to learn more about other cultures. So I took your words to heart and asked Felix to recommend me an elven movie that¡¯s fit for the occasion.¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°Yep. And this is one of the few elven films that I know about.¡±

    ¡°Look, if you¡¯re not happy with my pick. There¡¯s always the backup choice.¡±

    ¡°Which is?¡± Yvessa asked warily.

    ¡°The documentary Conan did after he got fired from NBC and went on tour, followed by the commentary on the movie. I never watched either, so you don¡¯t need to worry about me being bored.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ that¡¯s not happening. If I¡¯m going to suffer, at least I could rest easy knowing that you three are suffering with me.¡±

    ¡°Hold on now. Did you just insinuate that watching my backup choice was tantamount to you suffering? He¡¯s a brilliant man, I¡¯ll have you know! With a brilliant comedic mind. And I have it on good authority that the rumors that he hit a hit a hitchhiker while driving from Boston to New York in ¡®93 and hid the body in a ditch are completely unsubstantiated.¡±

    ¡°Quiet you two,¡± Felix said, ¡°the first battle scene is starting.¡± They watched in silence for two more minutes until it was over. ¡°Man¡­ this really is shit. Maybe we don¡¯t have to watch a movie after all.¡±

    ¡°What about my backup choice?!¡±

    ¡°If no one¡¯s paying any attention to the movie,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Then let me use to opportunity to congratulate Sam for it being a month since his return and on his pace of advancement since then. Cheers!¡±

    ¡°Cheers!¡± came two other cries, less enthusiastic than Sarah¡¯s but still much more cheerful than Sam¡¯s muttering, as they all raised a glass (or bottle) in toast.

    ¡°Speech!¡± Felix said.

    ¡°That¡¯s not happening.¡± Sam shook his head.

    ¡°Sourpuss.¡±

    ¡°Come on!¡± Yvessa nudged him. ¡°Give us a speech. Tell us about how you don¡¯t think your ¡®pace of advancement¡¯ in the last month is anything to be proud about.¡±

    Sam observed her with a frown. ¡°Did you grab a regular beer by accident? Or are you just trying to get back at me?¡±

    Sarah cleared her throat. ¡°Do I really have to have another conversation with you about feeling proud of what you¡¯ve accomplished this past month and how you¡¯ve accomplished it?¡± she asked Sam.

    ¡°No¡­ Once a week is enough, don¡¯t you think? Besides, Yvessa spent the entire time we were waiting for you complaining that she spends way too much time talking about me. So I think, for fairness¡¯ sake, that we should pivot the topic of conversation.¡±

    ¡°This is your party, mate,¡± Felix said. ¡°Kind of hard to think of a better occasion to dedicate to talking about a person than a party for them.¡±

    ¡°A funeral.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I just thought of that.¡±

    ¡°Is that really what you talked about while waiting for us to get here?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°Sam¡¯s just being hyperbolic. A thing he accused me of being when I told him that I¡¯m not like him and I don¡¯t have the willpower to force myself to cultivate any more today. Which was really what we spent most of the time talking about until you got here. That and Erianna, for some reason.¡±

    ¡°She came up naturally,¡± Sam said, ¡°don¡¯t give me that look. You brought her up first. It still counts against you and your propensity to mention her. I just went along with the natural flow of the conversation.¡±

    ¡°Let me guess.¡± Felix chuckled. ¡°You told her that you might as well use the time you were waiting for us to cultivate. She then told you something about not wanting to do that because she was a normal person, unlike her best friend.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. We are getting stale. We need to get some new conversational material. Some new best friends to talk about.¡±

    ¡°Fuck off, the both of you.¡± Yvessa rolled her eyes.

    ¡°So who won the argument?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°It was a stalemate,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Which means that I won, and he¡¯s just not willing to admit I¡¯m right,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a competition, Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°You just said that it was a stalemate.¡±

    ¡°Do I need to get involved with setting Sam¡¯s mind straight?¡± Sarah asked Yvessa.

    ¡°No. I think that deep down, he agrees with my assessment.¡±

    Sam shook his head in annoyance. ¡°Can we just drop this topic? At least until next month, when we have more than one point of data for observation?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not even harboring hope of dropping the topic completely anymore?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°I can realize when I¡¯m beaten and arrayed against forces greater than me.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡± Sarah pursed her lips. ¡°We¡¯ll save the conversation about your work ethic for your two months anniversary.¡±

    ¡°Nope. I gave you one month. I¡¯m not going to give you two.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not asking you. But, I¡¯ll let you off easy. Just a toast at dinner.¡±

    ¡°And dinner will be where?¡± She kept her silence and smirked. ¡°Hey, come on now, this ain¡¯t fair. You gotta take into account Felix and Yvessa¡¯s feelings as well. They might start to miss eating in the mess hall.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m willing to endure that pain as long as it would cause you discomfort,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Surely you won¡¯t, Yvessa? What about your hatred of not eating in the mess hall?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Taking food from the mess hall and eating it some place else is fine in my book. It¡¯s the waiting for food I don¡¯t like, not the location of the meal.¡±

    ¡°You realize that it says a lot about your upbringing that the part you hate the most about eating out or ordering in is the waiting for the food?¡±

    ¡°You realize that by criticizing me, you risk losing your only ally in the battle?¡±

    ¡°Haven¡¯t I lost you already? Somewhere around a month ago, when we first met?¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°Relax Sam. I promise that we¡¯ll have the toast as part of our regular meal. We don¡¯t want to dilute the importance of the other events we¡¯ll need to celebrate, now do we?¡±

    Sam muttered an unintelligible complaint under his breath. He knew when he was beaten. Unlike the mooks being butchered by the shirtless lead actress in the movie. ¡°So the elves stole both the Wilhelm Scream and plastic surgery from us?¡±

    ¡°Seems like a fair exchange of information,¡± Felix said. ¡°They get fake boobs and over the top audio effects, and we get the knowledge of how to turn ourselves into a one-person army.¡±

    ¡°Since when are you on the elves¡¯ side?¡±

    ¡°Since theirs is the first high budget movie I ever saw where the male main character spent an entire five minutes scene in full frontal nudity.¡±

    ¡°Did you know about that part when you picked the movie?¡±

    ¡°I swear I didn¡¯t. It was a happy accident. Does your backup movie have anything to offer in the full frontal department?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Otherwise it would¡¯ve been illegal in forty-five states.¡± He yawned with a stretch before getting up. ¡°Alright, I¡¯m getting the desserts out. I want some sweet.¡±

    They passed the rest of the evening alternating between talking about anything and everything, to talking about the movie and making fun of it. At one point, Yvessa had enough, and went into lecture mode. Telling them all about the stuff the movie got wrong and how it really happened in history. Once it was finally over, it was fair to say that while they all regretted Sam¡¯s choice for the evening; it did get the job done well enough to satisfy Sarah¡¯s requirement for what the movie should have been. Without the movie to force them to keep going (and, because watching it took so much out of them) the evening came to a close shortly after the end credits started rolling. Cleanup and farewell took no longer than five minutes, so after Sam was all done with his nightly obligations, he actually had enough spare time to make up for the time he didn¡¯t cultivate while talking to Yvessa. Not proving her right, of course, Sam simply had too much energy left in his mind and no other outlet to spend it.

 Chapter 75

    Sunday morning, the beginning of Sam¡¯s second month on New Terra, brought with it with a change in routine. He was going to omit his fifteen minutes of morning meditation in favor of physical exercise. This would also happen to be the first instance of Sam straying from his new(ish) twice a day meditation habit and while he was far from happy about it, he was fairly confident that he¡¯ll have no trouble returning to the habit tomorrow.

    Yesterday, Lin had given him some exercises to train with during the days they weren¡¯t going to meet (so technically, his first batch of homework). And while he only had to do the exercises three times in a week, with Sunday out, he still wanted to make sure he was doing it right. So he opted to perform it first thing in the morning, while it was still the freshest in his mind, and before working out this evening, when his friends could supervise him.

    He did consider leaving meditation as it was and taking those fifteen minutes from his study time, but decided against it after taking into account the pace he and Dan were able to make in (highschool) magical theory due to Sam¡¯s independent studying. Especially since his and Dan¡¯s time together was going through a major change on Tuesday, when Dan will finally only have to spend half of their lesson in complete boredom while watching Sam struggle with the basics of practical magic. He wasn¡¯t sure what would take the place of gathering practice, seeing as they¡¯ve already managed to slot in magical theory with only minimal problems (and minimal lengthening of their already very long sessions).

    He assumed patterns, though. The subject they started with way back when, in what was functionally their first lesson together, but haven¡¯t touched ever since. Sam wasn¡¯t happy with the prospect of going back to that difficult and incomprehensible subject, especially since he now had the (comparatively) more enjoyable experience of learning magical theory to contrast it with. Although, he was heartened by the thought that compared to four weeks ago, his knowledge of patterns and magic in general, while obviously still lacking, was leaps and bounds above not just his knowledge, but even his basic understanding of what magic was back then.

    He took special solace in the fact that, unlike with math, patterns were also regularly applied by all people (or almost all people, based on some surveys Sarah showed him). Which meant that there were plenty of idiots out there who have managed to master at least the rudimentary aspects of patterns so that they could imprint without someone to guide them through the entire process (pricey enough for even your level 1 patterns). Which meant that Sam could too. And if he could master the basics, he could master Basic Patterns one through three. And so on and so on.

    ¡°Pretty stupid to get all caught up in worrying about that now, though,¡± Sam grumbled as he started upon some very minor stretching and warm-up maneuvers. What with it not coming into play for at least the next two days. Oh well, something being stupid never stopped my mind from being stupid before.

    Warm-up finished, Sam settled his feet firmly on the floor and adjusted his body to the initial fighting stance Lin had taught (and kept teaching) him. Five different exercises. Three minutes each. Three for footwork: one for going on the offensive, one for defensive, and one for when you were too stupid and indecisive to pick one or the other, as Lin termed it. Then two exercises for attacking with a thrust (although they were still mostly footwork as Sam had no weapon to work with): a constant barrage of attacks in a consistent tempo, meant to wear down your opponent, and an all out rushing attack, for when you were all out of ideas and about to drop dead anyway.

    A couple of sessions ago, Sam asked Lin when they were going to start learning about using the spear for defense. ¡°When your offensive ability reaches a point where your life will actually be worth defending,¡± was what Lin said. He then immediately ruined it by telling Sam, ¡°In all likelihood, in about two months.¡± And if only Sam knew about the upcoming tournament then, he would have had a great¡ªan OK joke about not being ready in time for it. There¡¯ll be more chances to tell it later, he consoled himself while transitioning between the pure footwork exercises to the ¡°spear¡± ones.

    Seven minutes later he was all finished and, after drinking some water (he sent the leftover soft drinks from yesterday back with Yvessa), sat down to get some studying down. He was almost a third through the textbook and it was showing. He still made short work of the exercises and questions, but they started forcing him to sometimes go back a couple of pages and reread the information and examples so he could answer them. This lion¡¯s share of the textbook was more on the practical side then, by Dan¡¯s own admission, meant to ready the prospective (and nonexistent) ignorant academy student to university level magical theory. Or, to be more exact, to the university level of studying the practical applications of magical theory. Since, for the most part, the academy¡¯s mandatory courses on magical theory weren¡¯t intended for the pursuit of theoretical knowledge by its students.

    He made very good time, finishing one and a half chapter (laying the cause for that at Dan¡¯s feet, of course), and stopping himself from setting upon the third because even were it not longer than the previous two, he would not have had enough time to finish going through it before breakfast. He then opened up his schedule to see where he was, compared to where he should have been, and, seeing that he was more than a session ahead in everything but math and statistics (neither scheduled for today), decided to use the remaining time in order to cultivate. Amazingly, despite it being very in character for him after hearing Yvessa¡¯s ¡°admission¡± yesterday that spending so much time cultivating wasn¡¯t most people¡¯s cup of tea, Sam felt no mental weariness, or even unwillingness, from spending the time as he did. Chalk it up to the novelty of the activity.

    Unfortunately for Sarah, based on the frown on her face, she was having the exact opposite of a morning he had. ¡°Dwarves were extra hard today, then?¡± he asked her while squeezing her shoulder for comfort.

    ¡°Ugh¡­ don¡¯t even get me started. She basically took everything we studied up till now and turned on its head. And it¡¯s still supposed to fit together somehow? It doesn¡¯t make a lick of sense.¡±

    ¡°My commiserations. And dropping out of the course is completely out of the question?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ I¡¯m too committed. I want to see this through. Besides, unlike other courses, this course doesn¡¯t have any mid-trimester papers that I need to work on, only a test and a paper at the end, so if I was dropping any one course, this wouldn¡¯t be it.¡±

    ¡°Want some of my Dan time for him to help you with your essay on the best patterns for trenches triage?¡±

    She narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°How do you know about that?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you haven¡¯t slipped up. I overheard you recording a message to Maurice about that a couple of days ago when we were working out.¡±

    ¡°Rude¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m warning you, don¡¯t get me started on talking on the phone in public spaces. So, want me to deliver your plea for assistance to Dan? Ask him to spend some of his time with you instead of me?¡±

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t need Dan¡¯s help. Nor do I need him to help me at your own cost. What I need is to sit on my ass and spend more time studying, like you are.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a tough ask. You¡¯re working out twice as much as me and have at least four weekly combat practice sessions to my three. Maybe if you cut working out from today? Use that early morning for some extra studying instead?¡±

    She gave him an incredulous look. ¡°Are you joking? Working out is the only thing keeping me sane as of late.¡±

    ¡°So that leaves just the optional combat practices on Saturday, but you haven¡¯t been going to any of those for the last three weeks, so I¡¯m assuming you¡¯re already counting that.¡±

    She winced. ¡°Yeah¡­ once the midterm rush is over, I¡¯ll go back to that, at least once every other week. But that¡¯s not what I¡¯m talking about. I¡¯m not trying to change up my schedule to accommodate more studying in place of something else. I want to be able to use most of my free time for studying like you are.¡±

    ¡°So on the one hand you¡¯re always on me that I¡¯m working ¡®too hard¡¯, but on the other hand you want to be more like me? Shall we ask the audience what¡¯s wrong with that statement? Besides, since when have I become the measurement by which people judge how hard they are studying or training? Don¡¯t think I don¡¯t realize what you¡¯re trying to do. Letting Yvessa plant the seeds of the idea in my head yesterday, and then help them grow by reiterating on what she said today.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about? The bit where Yvessa complimented your ability to be able to start cultivating at a moment¡¯s notice and all the damn time? That¡¯s got nothing to do with what I¡¯m saying. Besides, just because I think that you should be taking it easier doesn¡¯t mean that I can¡¯t think that I should be pushing myself more. And since I¡¯m not actually pushing myself as hard as you are, but just wish that I were, I think I¡¯m more than justified in reproaching you for your reckless behavior.¡±

    ¡°Agree to disagree,¡± Sam said as he sat down next to Felix, ¡°on both counts.¡±

    ¡°Starting the morning on the usual foot, I see.¡± Felix smiled.

    ¡°No. But speaking of foot. Lin gave me homework exercises to train in yesterday. So I¡¯ll need you to judge my performance in them before we workout later.¡±

    ¡°Why me?¡±

    ¡°Cause you¡¯re the spear guy of the group. And you¡¯re the one I sat down next to. I don¡¯t understand what you¡¯re whining about, though, it¡¯s not like I¡¯ll only be wasting your time. Sarah and Yvessa won¡¯t start until we finish with my bit.¡±

    ¡°Oh great,¡± Yvessa intoned, ¡°so I¡¯ll just use that time for cultivating, shall I?¡±

    ¡°How long are the exercises?¡± Sarah asked Sam.

    ¡°Fifteen minutes. But this¡¯ll just be a onetime thing. So you don¡¯t need to worry about losing any more of your precious, obviously just as scant as mine, free time.¡±

    ¡°And what about my free time, then?¡± Felix asked. ¡°You¡¯re going to give me back those fifteen minutes somehow? Not all of us are able to starve ourselves of entertainment like you can, you know?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you start with me on that as well. You¡¯re just strengthening my conviction that a conspiracy has been brewed.¡±

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°The only conspiracy around here is the three of us trying Sarah to drop some of her electives. Any progress on that, by the way?¡±

    Sarah released a threating growl. ¡°No. And there won¡¯t be any. Just like there isn¡¯t any conspiracy involving you, Sam.¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°The only thing we know for certain is that we aren¡¯t part of any conspiracy regrading him.¡±

    All heads turned to regard her. ¡°What?¡± Sarah asked her.

    ¡°Well¡­ think about it. As a future Ruler, and all the hubbub surrounding him as a result of Farris¡¯ involvement, it would make sense if someone out there had some secret machinations¡ªdon¡¯t have to be nefarious¡ªabout Sam and his future.¡±

    ¡°The cynical and jaded diplomat¡¯s daughter has a good point,¡± Sam said. ¡°Although, I would have to wonder what exactly constitutes a conspiracy before I agree with her. Also, I¡¯ll have to think about what it means for my ego if I¡¯m willing to allow the possibility of strangers out there having plans about me.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t worry about your ego too much,¡± Felix said. ¡°After all, the gap between ¡®strangers out there¡¯ and one of the most important people in the Web wrecking havoc because he wanted an excuse to meet you isn¡¯t all that big.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but deep down I still think Farris is somewhat insane so I¡¯m more comfortable internalizing his weird opinion of me. Wait, does what he did with the summit and coming to meet me count as a conspiracy?¡± Sam asked Yvessa.

    She shrugged. ¡°I can think of some people who would probably think so. Although they¡¯ll see the conspiracy directed at them instead of you.¡±

    ¡°Well, whatever the case. The whole discussion is moot without an agreed upon definition of what a conspiracy is. Note that I won¡¯t accept any definition that doesn¡¯t have your recent statement about me and my usage of time as a part of it.¡±

    ¡°No one¡¯s conspiring to convince you of anything, Sam,¡± Sarah said. ¡°People are just telling you the truth. You just don¡¯t want to admit that it¡¯s the truth.¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°Maybe so. But I¡¯ll just wait for an unbiased opinion on the matter, if you don¡¯t mind. Maybe ask my fellow mentee to weigh in.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d like the record to show that Sam was the one who brought Erianna up now,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Hold on a minute. That doesn¡¯t count. I didn¡¯t mention her by name.¡±

    ¡°It counts. I think it¡¯s been well established at this point, to everyone here, who your fellow mentee is, so that mentioning her name wasn¡¯t necessary.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ alright.¡± Sam reclined his head in an admission of defeat. ¡°Oh, Felix, before I forget, I got a text about your PC today. They¡¯ll send it by tomorrow or the day after.¡±

    ¡°Please let it be tomorrow.¡± Felix crossed his fingers.

    ¡°It¡¯s only been four weeks. I¡¯m not going to be able to help you carry it to your room.¡±

    ¡°Why are you so sure that¡¯s my reasoning? Maybe I just want to get it as soon as possible.¡±

    ¡°Then you would¡¯ve paid for their premium express shipping or whatever. I still don¡¯t know why you didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Because I understand the value of money.¡±

    ¡°Sure you do. Anyway, I gave them your information as well, so you¡¯ll be able to go pick it up from security without me there. If I¡¯m not with you when it gets here, I¡¯ll text you.¡±

    ¡°And if you are with me, you¡¯ll come with me to get it.¡±

    ¡°Fine, whatever. Just remember all your complaining when it comes time for you to help me this evening.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try,¡± Felix lied. ¡°And speaking of trying¡±¡ªhe turned to Yvessa¡ª¡°I think I¡¯m going to try for two of the physical combat practice lessons on the next two Saturdays. You coming with?¡±

    She shook her head. ¡°I¡¯ll just join you for the first one. Twice a day seems like overkill. Plus, I¡¯m going to win anyway, so¡­¡±

    ¡°So cocky? And not just sure of beating me, but everyone else as well? No dark horse which could possibly upstage you?¡±

    ¡°Nope. Blame having access to the same sword instructors that a Sarechi royal princess had since I was nine.¡±

    ¡°Nice!¡± Sam gave her a thumbs up and mimicked writing on his palm, audibly mumbling, ¡°So that negates mine.¡±

    Felix chuckled, and said to Yvessa, ¡°Well, if you¡¯re so sure of yourself, then I won¡¯t argue with you. Can¡¯t say that I¡¯m not hoping for you to be wrong and for me to win. But I guess that I¡¯m still allowed to hope that you won¡¯t end up regretting your confidence.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, I suppose,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You do realize that with your planned schedule, you won¡¯t have a lot of time to appreciate the new computer Sam so generously bought for you?¡±

    ¡°Nah, I¡¯ll make time, move some things around. Enough to get well acquainted with that fancy VR setup to let off some steam before the tournament.¡±

    Sam held up his hands in warning to the table. ¡°Nobody say anything. Don¡¯t encourage him.¡±

    ¡°That reminds me,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°what are either of you going to do with your fancy new computers when it¡¯s time to graduate?¡±

    ¡°Send it back home,¡± Felix answered. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure any one of my sisters would be able to make good use of it¡­ Anything to add to that, Sam?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ no. I¡¯m not going there.¡± He shook his head. ¡°I guess that means that I¡¯m sending the PC to Felix¡¯s sister, then. I was going to donate it anyway, so it might as well be to people who I ¡®know.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Make sure you scrub the hard drive first, though, will you?¡±

    ¡°Wow. So you just made the joke that I purposefully didn¡¯t. Jerk move. And after all I¡¯ve done for you and yours in the computer department.¡±

    What remained of the breakfast (for Sam) passed very quickly from that point and the minute his glass and plate were emptied, he got up and bid his friends goodbye. He had a reason for leaving as early as he did, of course, one that didn¡¯t have anything to do with being any more hardworking than his peers. He was simply conscientious of his body. So despite his new workouts becoming easier, it was still very stupid to downplay their effect on his body. Especially when you added the effects from the extra thirty-minutes that he would¡¯ve spent exercising by the end of the day. So, his reason for leaving early was that he planned to walk in a very leisurely place to Dan¡¯s building. He only managed to bear through it for half the distance, though. The latter half he passed in his usual brisk walking speed.

    Operating by habits already deeply ingrained in him by this point, he opened the door to Dan¡¯s office without announcing himself beforehand. His old habits hadn¡¯t prepared him for the possibility of more than two people capable of being spatially located in the confines behind the door. So it came as a surprise that a genuine prefix-less general was sitting with her back turned to Sam, deep in conversation with¡­ what was Dan¡¯s rank even?

    ¡°Sam,¡± Dan said while looking up at him and away from the screen he was just pointing at, ¡°early as usual, I see.¡±

    Sam nodded sheepishly, closing the door behind. ¡°You know me. I hate to disappoint more than I have to.¡±

    ¡°May I introduce General Sakina Asun? Fear not, we were just finishing.¡±

    ¡°Were we?¡± asked the general with a half smile and raised eyebrow. ¡°Usually it is the higher-ranking officer who dismisses the junior.¡±

    ¡°Usually we¡¯d be sitting at your office, on the opposite sides of the desk.¡±

    She let out a small chuckle and stood up facing Sam, presenting her hand forwards. ¡°It is a pleasure to finally put a living face to the name, Mr. Anders. The entire chain of command has heard a lot about you in the last couple of weeks.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡± Sam shook her hands on instinct. ¡°Aren¡¯t I supposed to salute or something?¡±

    ¡°Only in¡­ two and half years, is it? Going by your ambitions. Until you graduate, you are still not sworn in.¡±

    ¡°I thought I was under the authority of Home Command as a cadet.¡±

    ¡°You are,¡± Dan said, ¡°but not as a solider yet. You are, for all intents and purposes, a civilian contractor.¡±

    ¡°Also,¡± General Sakina added, ¡°you¡¯re technically not under the authority of Home Command but rather of Education Command, and the relationship between the two is very complex. Less so when it comes to the cadets here, though, as under EDCOM you¡¯ll find the only branch of the military with any actual jurisdiction concerning you. And trust me, you won¡¯t find a branch more lax with its requirement for military discipline than COTAR. Still, if you¡¯re so inclined to, I won¡¯t say no to a salute from a future ruler. I won¡¯t be getting one from any of them anytime soon.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have to decline, then, I¡¯m afraid,¡± Sam said. ¡°I¡¯d like to put me as far away as possible from ¡®military discipline¡¯ while I still can.¡±

    ¡°Better train hard to make Ruler, then. Even level 10s¡ªmost level 10s¡ªaren¡¯t so far removed from the mandated military etiquette. Well then, since I have been so decisively dismissed, I won¡¯t keep you two from your duties any longer. Dan, send me your opinion once you¡¯re finished with it. Don¡¯t bother having other people weigh in. Mr. Anders, I await our meeting under official circumstances with bated breath. Farewell.¡±

    Dan got up to walk her to the door, and after closing it behind her, nodded to Sam and started on his usual beverage-making ritual for the two of them. Sam sat down, well acquainted with the two minutes wait at this point. Thanking Dan for his glass of cold water, he asked, ¡°So, what was that about?¡±

    ¡°Nothing for you to worry about, I assure you. General Asun just wanted my opinion¡ªbut really a sign of my support¡ªfor a new policy she hopes to bring forward.¡±

    ¡°So this was like a political courting call? That¡¯s why she came all the way here?¡±

    ¡°In a way¡­¡± He took a long sip once he saw Sam¡¯s questioning look. ¡°Very well, no use beating around the bush. I suppose that I might as well tell you what this was about, seeing as teaching you about the military and it¡¯s operations is one of the academy¡¯s major goals. General Asun is newly promoted to her position, which itself was newly created just recently.¡±

    ¡°Wait, how recently?¡±

    ¡°Two weeks ago, good catch. Yes, both her new rank and position are a result of changes brought on by the summit that your mentor called on short notice. Although, neither brought any functional changes to General Asun¡¯s day to day, I assure you. Instead of being the lieutenant general in charge of Terran Inner-Web Operations, she is the Commanding General of Terran Inner-Web Command. A completely meaningless change for anyone who doesn¡¯t care about the intricate politics of the military¡¯s command structure away from the front.¡±

    ¡°And is General Asun such a person?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°In a way. It depends on how you define such a person. But in any case, I would categorize Sakina as one of those politicians who are more concerned about using politics to advance their own agenda, simply than for just politics¡¯ sake. From that aspect, she would only care about her new rank because it might help her accomplish what she wants to set out and do.¡±

    ¡°Which in this case is?¡±

    ¡°Create a joint training program for senior commanding officers between us, the elves, and the deshars.¡±

    ¡°Sounds reasonable¡­ right?¡±

    ¡°Indeed, and it is a plan which she would¡¯ve never been able to propose were she still without her new authority.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re going to give her your support?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but she won¡¯t need it. This plan of her, with all it¡¯s consequences was thought of long before she received her promotion or the summit which caused her promotion was called.¡±

    Sam chuckled. ¡°What, are you saying that it was some sort of conspiracy?¡±

    ¡°All I¡¯m saying is that I don¡¯t foresee neither the deshar military, nor the elven one, objecting to her proposal. Your mentor would¡¯ve made sure of that. And by making sure one of his closest allies in the Terran military got what seems like only a promotion on paper, he could hide the signs of him being a part of the proposal¡¯s conception. But enough of that for now. We¡¯ll circle back to this topic at lunch if you¡¯re still interested. You¡¯ve already lost the few minutes you gained by being early, and you should be well aware that we have a hectic two days before us.¡±

    And I might have some reevaluating of Farris to do before me. And some research if I want to teach my own conclusion independently. Nah¡­ I¡¯ll just grill him about this if I still care when we next talk.

    ¡°So we¡¯re definitely finished with focusing so much on gathering?¡± he asked Dan.

    ¡°Yes, although it¡¯s still going to take up most of our time on the first two days of the week, when we¡¯ll still practice.¡±

    ¡°And what will we do on the other days?¡±

    ¡°If all goes according to plan, half of the day will be spent on tracing practice. The other half will be split between magical theory and patterns. Which we¡¯ll go back to on Tuesday. But, I also want to start you on applied tracing sometime soon, next week I hope. We¡¯ll see.¡±

    ¡°Applied tracing? Like actual magic?¡±

    ¡°Actual magic indeed. I want you to start being able to trace simple self-restorative tracings. Very inefficient in both time and magic, but in lieu of your lack of patterns. And since we¡¯re going to be having you train in tracing anyway, why not get something out of it? Of course, it¡¯ll be quite a while before you¡¯ll be able to trace those. We¡¯ll have to work our way up to them.¡±

    ¡°Well, I, for one, can¡¯t wait. Hopefully, I¡¯ll finish working my way up before Sarah decides that my workout¡¯s difficulty should go up.¡±

    Dan smiled. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t bet on it.¡±

    Thankfully, Dan¡¯s statement wasn¡¯t as ironic as Sam kept fearing it was all through the day. For when it came time for his after dinner workout, it was unchanged. Sarah¡¯s hellish torment of him was held at bay for yet another week. Also thankfully, he managed to complete the exercises Lin assigned to him well enough so that none of his friends (who all ended up waiting for him to start with their own workout) had anything major to correct. Well, Felix kept yelling ¡°ugly,¡± but Sam had nothing he could do to correct that. Not that he needed to, as Sarah did it for him by kicking Felix in the shins when she finally had enough of him.

 Chapter 76

    ¡°So, patterns,¡± Dan said after Sam sat down, having returned from the bathroom, signaling their arrival on the last subject of their lessons for the day. ¡°What do you know about patterns?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much only what I learned, or that we talked about as part of magical theory,¡± Sam said. ¡°Some other miscellaneous information from various sources. Maybe, hopefully, some of what you tried to teach me four weeks ago, although I wouldn¡¯t count on that.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t peek at the textbook or anything?¡±

    ¡°I might¡¯ve. But only for a little while, still long enough to leave me with a despondent impression, though.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s to be expected. If you truly don¡¯t remember anything I¡¯ve taught you about patterns originally, then you must also not remember what I told you about the initial difficulty of learning patterns.¡±

    ¡°No, I remember that. Doesn¡¯t mean I buy into it.¡±

    ¡°You should. There are three major difficulty curves when it comes to the study of patterns. And everyone struggles through them. The first is, appropriately, starting to study it for the first time. There is simply no way around it. Learning about patterns is like starting math from scratch. They¡¯re both a language unto their own. Think about how much time it took you to get where you are today with your knowledge of math.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°I¡¯d have made a joke about kids being stupid and whatnot, but I really want to get started, so let¡¯s just say I agree with you and we can move on.¡±

    ¡°Only once you¡¯ve truly accepted my point about the difficulty. If I see you returning to despondence for no reason, I¡¯ll bring us back to this discussion over and over again. I¡¯ll do the same if you overly-criticize yourself when we come against the other two difficulty curves. Those are imprinting for the first time and using multiple conscious patterns efficiently, in case you forgot. You¡¯re going to have trouble with both. Everyone does. So I don¡¯t want to hear you complaining about yourself when it comes to these three difficult starts. Do I have your agreement?¡±

    San nodded his assent, even if inwardly he wasn¡¯t convinced. It¡¯s a damn shame Yvessa isn¡¯t here because I now don¡¯t have an excuse to bring up a certain someone¡­ Wait¡­ am I developing a complex about a person who I¡¯ve never met before? He shook his head. Nah, I¡¯m just using her as a placeholder for my expectations of myself. If it wasn¡¯t her, then it would¡¯ve just been a made up straw man. Still, better keep the fact that I just referenced her to myself, though.

    ¡°Everything alright, Sam?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Just made real certain that I finished internalizing your warnings. Can we start?¡±

    Dan nodded and leaned back with his cup in hand. He took his signature long sip of the almost boiling liquid and let out a long breath. ¡°We¡¯ll start over from the beginning, no reason not to. But before we move on to the textbook and the technical information¡­ I want to talk a bit more about patterns in general. Now that we have a much greater understanding of what magic is and how it works.¡±

    ¡°What is there to talk about? Anything we haven¡¯t covered in your first ever lecture for me, we¡¯ve gone over through magical theory.¡±

    ¡°Not everything, nowhere close. But close enough for the basics of patterns, I suppose. Perhaps I misspoke. I don¡¯t want to talk about patterns, not straight away, but about how you are going to study them. Both with me and by yourself. I¡¯ve mentioned three difficulty curves just now and they obviously correspond to the three main branches of what we¡¯ll be teaching you about patterns in the academy: The patterns themselves; Imprinting them; And using them. All of these are practically different subjects of study, and we¡¯ll get to the other two in due time.

    ¡°The topic of the patterns themselves can also be categorized into three different branches¡ªsub-branches, I suppose¡ªalthough this categorization is not as rigid, and differs from person to person and place to place. Roughly speaking, everything we¡¯ve studied about patterns as part of magical theory can remain under those lessons, meaning that you won¡¯t be studying those aspects as part of your ¡®Patterns¡¯ lessons or textbooks. That¡¯s the first sub-branch, the theory of patterns. The second one is this textbook here¡±¡ªhe pointed to the much more informative counterpart of the solely exercises textbook Sam had back in his room meant to impart highschool level knowledge of patterns¡ª¡°the practical technicalities of patterns. Leaving the theory behind, this is what you need to know about how patterns really work. And the last subject is¡­ everyone has a different name for it. Per the academy¡¯s guidelines, it¡¯s termed ¡®the optimal configurations of patterns on an individual basis.¡¯ It¡¯s pretty much which patterns give you the best bang for your buck from a combat perspective. Got all that?¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°The distinction seems a tad unnecessary, but I guess that I can understand how all three of those are focusing on a different aspect of patterns as a whole.¡±

    ¡°The distinction is important if solely because it will determine where you will learn about those different aspects. Like I said, the macro-theoretical aspect will be a part of your studies on magical theory. The last aspect is only taught starting from the third year, once every student has a strong enough foundation in the other two aspects, as well as in imprinting and usage of patterns. What this means for you is that when we¡¯re talking about you studying patterns, either on your own, with me, or with the general student body, we¡¯re talking about you studying the second aspect. Of course, the mandatory Patterns courses also cover imprinting, but my point still stands. And it¡¯s important that you remember that because your mandatory courses on the subject will remain wholly divorced from discussing the other two aspects during your stay here.

    ¡°And I want to stress that last part because it is both a boon and a drawback. Positively, it will mean that your study of the technicalities of patterns and theory of patterns will not be affected one by another for quite a while. The same, although to a lesser extent, will be true for imprinting and the usage of patterns. Negatively, this means that it¡¯ll be up to you to draw the connecting lines between all these different aspects as you progress in your studies.¡±

    ¡°Why doesn¡¯t the academy make sure to do that, then?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Because it deems that level of understanding of patterns as not necessary for your average cadet. And I¡¯m inclined to agree with that viewpoint. The sad truth of it is that most of our graduates will never make it past level 8, not to speak of making Ruler. And it is for after level 8¡ªyour patterns for reaching level 9 and 10¡ªthat a comprehensive understanding of the subject is most important. Until then, the combat applications of a deeper understanding are much more meagre, and most of our students aren¡¯t interested in pursing theory or a career in magical research.

    ¡°Of course, like I said, there are elective courses which seek to give our students, or at least set them on the path of that level of understanding. But, obviously, they¡¯re very theory heavy and most people won¡¯t get anything from a combat-prowess perspective out of them, at least in the short term. So it¡¯s no wonder they remain relatively sparsely attended when compared to the ¡®must-have¡¯ electives. Still, ideally you¡¯ll be take the same number of these courses as I¡¯m planning on the Twins taking, as the three of you are very much in the camp of being best served by having a deeper understanding of patterns as whole.¡±

    Dan then stopped to consider his words before shrugging. ¡°Not that it¡¯s certain that you¡¯ll attain that vaunted level of knowledge, nor that you¡¯ll need it. It¡¯s an ideal to strive for, more than anything. There are plenty of level 10s, plenty of Rulers even, who aren¡¯t much more knowledgeable than your average graduate when it comes to the grand picture of patterns. Think of it¡ªand forgive me if my example isn¡¯t wholly compatible or correct, for I am not well versed in technological weaponry¡ªthink of it as being an aircraft pilot. Of course, they¡¯ll be better served and be able to better perform their role by having a deeper understanding of all the different aspects of working the plane: chemistry, physics, the engineering, computing, and so on. But, at the end of the day, they¡¯ll still be able to fulfill their role, and fulfill it admirably, by simply having an understanding that starts and stops at only the aircraft itself. The same is true for patterns, and even magical combat as a whole. It¡¯d be best if every one of our elite soldiers had a comprehensive understanding of everything there is to know about their patterns. But most of them don¡¯t, they just know how they work and what they do and how to imprint them, and they kill a lot of Epiraks with ¡®just¡¯ that.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Alright, I get it. The distinction between the three aspects is important for the academy to be able to teach as many people as it does effectively. But to truly have a deeper understanding of patterns, I¡¯ll have to do away with the division.¡±

    ¡°Ideally, you¡¯d do away with any division whatsoever when it comes to magic. Less ideally but still an ideal is only to do so with both patterns and tracing. Which is still very impractical, even for an ideal, to build a curriculum around. But having a wide understanding of the all the different aspects of patterns and tracing that you¡¯ll learn about, and combining all of those aspects together, is the best end result. One that you should definitely be aiming for.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try. But for that we¡¯ll have to start¡ªrestart, I guess¡ªlearning about patterns finally, no? Everything you¡¯ve told me up to now has been very much in the air without me knowing anything about patterns more than the basics.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ yes, point taken. So let¡¯s start. Do you still remember the three different kinds of artificial biological pathways?¡±

    Sam cupped his chin and bit on his lower lip in an effort of concentration. ¡°I¡¯m trying to divorce what you originally taught me from what I¡¯ve learned in magical theory since then¡­ Should I not be doing that, after what we just talked about?¡±

    Dan shook his head with a smile. ¡°No, it¡¯s fine. It¡¯s not like the three aspects are truly separate, it¡¯s an artificial distinction. One that¡¯s supposed to help with digesting the information. Think about your own studies that you specialized in, like math, for example¡ª¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t specialize in math.¡±

    ¡°I said for example. In this example, having this wide understanding of math as a whole will make you a better mathematician. But it shouldn¡¯t prevent you from breaking down math into different subjects on the way there, and even after, as long as you remember that all those subjects make math a subject as a whole, and so they all must be connected and consistent with one another.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I got that. I think. But right now I was mostly worried about keeping track of what I actually remembered of the technical side of patterns.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that for now. Just tell me everything you know about the three artificial biological pathways.¡±

    ¡°Alright¡­ So for the first two, you have the narrow and wide extension. This is one of those classic higher education styles of annoying naming conventions because they have nothing to do with the size of the artificial pathway itself. But rather from what kind of pathway it has been extended from. I don¡¯t remember where exactly the diving line is, though, which is the technical aspect.¡±

    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°It depends on the size of your core pathways. For the smallest possible core pathways, corresponding to somewhere between a level 1 and 2 core, every pathway that¡¯s minor to your core pathways is considered narrow. For you as a Taken, it¡¯s only the two most minor pathways that are considered narrow. You¡¯re right, of course, there is a much more technical analysis to be done on what pathways count as narrow or wide between these two extremes. And while the effects of not adjusting your design accordingly on the pattern¡¯s effectiveness are rather minor, it is of paramount importance when imprinting the pattern. You¡¯ll luckily be exempt from always recalculating which of your pathways are wide and which are narrow.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t be exempt from having to reconfigure my patterns when I want to imprint them through a narrow pathway, though. Even when the pattern is only applicable to be used through a narrow pathway. Because, for some reason, a pattern always has to be presented as though it is used through a wide pathway.¡±

    Dan smiled. ¡°Ah, I see you managed to remember that bit just fine.¡±

    ¡°Of course I did. I¡¯m a human being, aren¡¯t I? And as a human being, I have the privileged position of being left with a much deeper impression by information I perceive as negative compared to any other kind of information.¡±

    ¡°Then you should also remember the rationale for that, no?¡±

    ¡°I do. That adjusting a pattern for a narrow pathway isn¡¯t binary, it changes depending on how narrow the pathway is.¡±

    ¡°Very good. Especially since I never told you about that rationale at the time. So the last type of artificial biological pathway is?¡±

    ¡°Isolated pathways. Only possible to imprint on the brain or the heart.¡±

    ¡°Only practical to imprint on major organs. It¡¯s simply that the brain, and to a much lesser extent the heart, are the easiest organs to imprint an isolated pathway when compared to the rest. Theoretically, you could imprint every part of your body with an isolated pathway. It¡¯s just very difficult when compared to regular imprinting¡ªeven on the brain, which is by far the easiest¡ªand not practical in the least. The only organs you might want to have an isolated pattern operating on are the brain, the heart, and the lungs. Everywhere else, the gain in efficiency is simply not worth it. Remember why there is a gain in efficiency?¡±

    Sam sighed. That point has been hammered into him both four weeks ago and in the last two weeks. ¡°Imprinting through a pathway means that when you want to activate that pattern, you¡¯ll have to trace through the pathway and the artificial pathway connecting to the pattern. Even if you¡¯re very good at tracing, which I¡¯m not, it costs time, which can be critical during a battle. And, it causes an increase in how much magic the pattern requires in order to operate¡ªfor all different kinds of reasons, most of which are above my grade just yet. Isolated pathways, however, have no connected entity with a magical pull to contented with, so if you trace to that a pattern imprinted through them, all the magic you draw will go there as fast as you can draw it.¡±

    ¡°Very good. That¡¯s as far as we¡¯ll take the discussion of artificial pathways for today. It¡¯s very important for imprinting, of course, but I want us to talk more about patterns proper for the time being. We¡¯ll go back to this in a week or two.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s less than what we went over originally. I remember you tried teaching me about how to calculate the necessary length the artificial pathway has to be to prevent accidentally tracing into the pattern it connects to.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I know, It is technically one of the first topics in your textbook, but since you¡¯re not going to be imprinting anytime soon, you don¡¯t have to study it right now. And you don¡¯t have to know about it for what I want to teach you about patterns in the next month or two, at least. We¡¯ll be going back to it much earlier than that, but for now, I just want to focus on patterns proper because it will help you¡ªminimally, but still¡ªwhen we begin with applied tracing next week. So, do you remember how to tell what the overhead cost of cycling through a pattern is as opposed to just tracing for its intended effects?¡±

    Sam stopped to consider, really delving into the depth of his mind. He had a vague picture of the ¡°scientific¡± diagram that was used to represent a pattern and of some of the icons that made it up. But nothing more than that. ¡°No.¡± He clenched his teeth.

    ¡°No problem. Let¡¯s start over on how to read your basic pattern notations. Every published pattern will have those, saving you the trouble of having to calculate it. After that, we¡¯ll moving on to reading the pattern diagram itself. We¡¯ll go more in depth this time. Last time, I just gave you the most basic diagram and only the five symbols. We¡¯ll go over the rest of the common symbols today. Hopefully, we¡¯ll be able to inject some substance into them by the time we¡¯re finished, but if not, we will tomorrow.¡± He then bent over to open the textbook and give Sam the usual royal heir to the up-and-coming hegemon of the Hellenic world treatment.

    With his Great ambitions not quite as shattered after the lesson today as they were four weeks ago¡ªquite possibly because they had less time in the lesson and so hadn¡¯t manged to get to the really difficult stuff¡ªSam left Dan¡¯s building in a very optimistic mood. Things were moving up! He was finally beginning to really learn magic instead of just practicing the very basics of it (or reading about the very basics behind it). And with the promise of finally doing actual magic this time next week¡ªgiving a much needed proof that the new energy in his body could actually have an effect on the real world¡ªSam was positively giddy.

    ¡°I¡¯m positively giddy,¡± he told Yvessa and Felix once he met them outside the mess-hall.

    ¡°At least someone is,¡± Felix said, jerking a thumb towards Yvessa.

    ¡°Why? What happened?¡± Sam asked her. Come to think of it, her brows were knit even tighter that they usually were.

    ¡°Nothing. Hopefully,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s just that my dad texted me that one of our cats was sick and they had to leave her at the vet. I¡¯m just worried for him because Stylus is already sixteen.¡±

    ¡°Why¡¯d you call him Stylus?¡± She held up her phone to show him a picture of him at the vet, looking like a brave little soldier. ¡°Ooh! What a nose! Yes, I can see that. Why in English, though?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°We¡¯ve always named our pets in English. We do have a turtle named Aesop, I suppose. But he doesn¡¯t count because my mom got him from her grandmother.¡±

    ¡°A turtle called Aesop?¡± Felix asked. ¡°Are you allowed to do that?¡±

    ¡°Do you even know what the difference between a turtle and a tortoise is?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a difference?¡±

    Sam held his hand against Felix¡¯s face to shut him up. ¡°Felix, please. There¡¯s a time and place for jokes that veer us away from the main topic and conversation and this one ain¡¯t it. Next time, leave it to the professional.¡± He turned to Yvessa. ¡°So what¡¯s wrong with Stylus?¡±

    ¡°The vet said it¡¯s nothing serious and she just wants to have him stay for a checkup. If all the tests come out clean, then it¡¯s probably just a virus and there¡¯s nothing to really worry about.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s hope for that scenario, then. The vet is top-notch, I assume?¡±

    ¡°Yes. My parents have been with her before I was even born. She¡¯s a Terran expat specializing in Terran cats, which all of ours are.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a difference between elven and Terran cats?¡±

    ¡°Theoretically there is a difference between all shared animals, but it¡¯s usually pretty minor, bordering on negligible. But with domesticated animals, where you have all these different breeds, the changes vary and matter a lot more. Especially since, you know, people want their pets to get the best treatment possible and each side simply isn¡¯t familiar with the other¡¯s breeds as they are with theirs.¡±

    ¡°Also,¡± Felix said, ¡°the elves went even more fucked up with breeding cats and dogs than we were.¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°That¡¯s true, unfortunately. They¡¯ve gotten better, but there¡¯s still not as strict a regulation over there as there is here.¡±

    ¡°Well that¡¯s depressing,¡± Sam said. ¡°And it¡¯s also doing my head in because it¡¯s making me think about stuff that I really don¡¯t have the time to wonder about right now.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Felix chuckled. ¡°Better let those sleeping wolves lie for now. So, what got you feeling so out of character before?¡±

    ¡°I had a good day. What, I¡¯m not allowed to have good days?¡±

    ¡°Hearing the way you talk sometimes¡­ you would think not.¡±

    ¡°Hey. I resent that. I think any negativity I have towards my days here is appropriately placed, if not underrepresented.¡±

    ¡°So what made today so good, Sam?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Patterns turned out to be easier than you feared?¡±

    Sam shrugged. It did, in a way. Despite Sam spending a not insignificant amount of time during breakfast worrying aloud about his return to the subject. ¡°I guess so. And don¡¯t get me wrong, I¡¯m definitely happy about that. But I¡¯m also just happy with how things are in general. Today really felt like I was making progress, you know? And next week I¡¯m going to start actual magic. I¡¯m being tested for my progress towards level 1 this Friday. I wouldn¡¯t say the future looks good, but it¡¯s finally looking solid, taking shape and form.¡±

    ¡°That is good news,¡± Felix said. ¡°And it¡¯s be even better news if you hurried up with your studies and get close enough to our level. Most of our life nowadays is concerned with our studies and ever since we¡¯ve been forbidden to talk about that when with you, we¡¯ve steadily been going out of stuff to talk about.¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you on about?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Yesterday you spent the entire dinner making a top ten list of the hottest male Rulers.¡± She turned to Sam. ¡°Sarah told me that he even carried with it through their workout.¡±

    ¡°So?¡± Felix gave her a bemused look. ¡°You¡¯re just proving my point. That was an A grade conversational material right there, and I was forced to just throw it out yesterday like it was common fodder because we had nothing else to discuss.¡±

    ¡°Conversational material? You were mostly talking to yourself.¡±

    ¡°Not true. You all kept commenting from the sidelines whenever you disagreed with my picks.¡±

    ¡°To be fair,¡± Sam said, ¡°I still don¡¯t think you should¡¯ve removed that Lasari guy. In a contest of visual appearance, the fact that he¡¯s a virulent racist shouldn¡¯t be taken into consideration. And he was hot.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, what do you know? Besides, you only learned who he was yesterday.¡±

    ¡°What can I say? Game recognizes game.¡±

    Felix stared back at him blankly. ¡°Is this a joke about you being as attractive as him? Or is this a joke about you being as big of a racist?¡±

    ¡°Wait. Why does me saying that I¡¯m just as aesthetically pleasing as that guy has to constitute a joke?¡±

    ¡°Because for you to be seriously thinking that, would go against your personality and past statements? I suppose we can count it as serious if we count you as being delusional and a pathological liar, though.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Rude much?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what¡¯s rude. How late Sarah is.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t try to change the subject. Only I¡¯m allowed to do that. Incidentally, I¡¯m changing the subject. Where is Sarah?¡±

    ¡°Her class ran late,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°She¡¯ll be here soon. She said that we don¡¯t have to wait for her and we can start eating without her, though.¡±

    ¡°Oh, so what are we still doing here?¡±

    ¡°We were waiting for you¡­¡± Felix intoned.

    ¡°Well here I am.¡± Sam spread both of his hands forwards towards the mess-hall. ¡°And I¡¯m leaving the ball in your court, Polaris.¡±

    ¡°Great. Finally. I¡¯m fucking famished.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re always famished.¡±

    ¡°So? I¡¯m a growing boy. I need a lot of calories.¡±

    ¡°Learn to pack a snack, why don¡¯t you? A little pick me up between meals.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t all be like you. Not all of us have an obsession with beef jerky and the ability to eat it with relish.¡±

    ¡°You eat way more jerky than Sam does,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Yeah, but I don¡¯t enjoy it as much as him.¡±

    ¡°Maan¡­¡± Sam shook his head at the philistine. ¡°I ought to school you for saying something like that. But, I¡¯m heading that way. Cause I don¡¯t want fish.¡± He split up to find a more palatable main course before rejoining them in search of a table. ¡°Alright,¡± he said after texting Sarah where they were seated, ¡°Sarah says she¡¯ll be here in five.¡±

    ¡°Are we taking bets on whether she¡¯s running to make it here in that time frame or whether she¡¯s running to make it earlier?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Is her walking here and making it in five minutes completely out of the question?¡±

    ¡°We can add it as an option. A black horse, if you will.¡±

    She ended up joining them in indeed about five minutes, but with her level of fitness, and with no one asking her if she ran, it was unclear who it was that would¡¯ve won the bet were it made. She sat with a tired sigh next to Sam, who said, ¡°Hey, that¡¯s my line!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have a monopoly on being tired when sitting down to eat dinner.¡± She waved her fork at him.

    ¡°No, but I have clearly worked tirelessly to establish audibly sighing as a part of my public persona. A trademark, if you will.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t been reinforcing it lately, though.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ yeah, I can¡¯t argue with that. Let this be a lesson to you all about the dangers of ceasing to complain about stuff. Any concrete reason you¡¯re tired? Something for us to worry about?¡±

    She waved him off. ¡°I¡¯m well aware of what shape you three¡¯s brand of worry takes by now. And there¡¯s nothing to be worried anyway. Just had a long day. Didn¡¯t get much sleep, as you¡¯re all aware.¡±

    ¡°And why is that¡­?¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Shut it. I don¡¯t want to hear about that today. Oh! Right. How¡¯s your cat?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s fine, thank you. He¡¯s staying at the vet for the night, but hopefully he¡¯ll be able to come home tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great. I¡¯m sure he will. Now, Sam, how was your patterns lesson?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m slowly inching my way towards you guys being able to talk about stuff without it going over my head,¡± he said with a nod towards Felix. That didn¡¯t satisfy her curiosity, of course, so Sam had to tell how his return to the subject went in way more detail. He couldn¡¯t help but noticing the smug look on her face when he concluded by saying that it was overall much easier than he remembered from four weeks ago. And to Sarah¡¯s credit, she managed to hold the ¡°I told you so¡± all through dinner and halfway through their walk to the training field. It really sucked when you ended up proving the people having utmost confidence in you right.

 Chapter 77

    ¡°You excited for tomorrow?¡± Felix asked Sam as he joined him and Yvessa on the ground for the last part of Sam¡¯s last cardio workout of the week (not counting Sam¡¯s Saturday sessions with Lin as working out was a crucial part of maintaining the facade so necessary for maintaining his sanity).

    ¡°What¡¯s tomorrow?¡± Yvessa asked Sam.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± He shrugged.

    ¡°Your level test,¡± Felix said. ¡°Don¡¯t try to act like you forgot about that.¡±

    ¡°Of course I haven¡¯t. But I¡¯m not sure what I should be excited about. I mean, it¡¯s not like I¡¯m going to find out that I¡¯m level 1. According to Farris, I¡¯ll probably be somewhere around a tenth of the way there, so the limit¡¯s pretty fucking limited. If anything, I should be worried about not being able to match up to that expectation.¡±

    ¡°Worry still counts as excitement.¡±

    ¡°I suppose it does. But you asked it in such a jovial tone and with your signature gay smile that I just instinctively dismissed the negative connotations of the word.¡±

    ¡°Does excitement really cover being worried about something, though?¡± Yvessa wondered.

    ¡°Oh no you don¡¯t,¡± Felix said. ¡°We are not getting into another linguistic debate today.¡±

    ¡°So we¡¯re saving it for tomorrow, then?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d very much prefer that you we don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ you are really putting me in a pickle here.¡±

    ¡°Unpickle yourself then.¡±

    ¡°How would that help? I didn¡¯t say that I was a pickle. I said that I was in a pickle.¡±

    They continued going on like that for the next couple of minutes. Sam placidly nodding along with their arguments but keeping from getting involved with anything more than a shrug or a low commitment ¡°um¡± of affirmation. He was too distracted by anxious thoughts to let himself get distracted by the back-and-forth rambling of his two friends.

    With Sarah changing tactics and this time telling him about the increase in his workout¡¯s difficulty a full week and a half before they were to take place, Sam was laser focused on getting as much as he could from his current routine in order to ease the burden on his future self. He immediately realized that was Sarah¡¯s plan, and while he couldn¡¯t fault her for that, he could fault her for her ability to read him so easily by making self-deprecating jokes.

    And now Felix brought to the fore yet another thing for him to worry about. Not that Sam forgot about tomorrow¡¯s test¡ªhe hadn¡¯t been able to do that ever since Dan told him about it last Friday (giving him the benefit of the doubt for having been able to forget about it beforehand, when he only had Farris¡¯ words to go by)¡ªbut he had managed to put that avenue of worry aside somewhat. Mostly by focusing on the fact that he didn¡¯t actually have a goal (besides the unattainable 1) to aim for, as he was not in possession of all the relevant knowledge required to have a goal.

    What was the minimal rate of progression for him to be able to reach level 1 in half a year? How exponential was it (because it was clear, even to him, that his rate of core capacity growth will definitely increase exponentially in the foreseeable future) going to be? Would his ¡°score¡± be a testament of his talents with cultivating whatever they were (and if they existed)? Or would it be a result of his¡­ hard work?

    ¡°Ah! Fuck!¡± He burst out aloud and out of his thoughts. ¡°Fucking leg cramp!¡± He alternated between spasming, retracting his legs, and trying to keep up the stretch. ¡°Oooh¡­¡± he wallowed in self-misery as he sat up to massage his aching leg. Thankfully, it was the last stretch for it this evening.

    Felix clapped him on the back. ¡°Take a look on the bright side. It¡¯s been like two years since I last had those. So sometime in the future, sooner than you think, you¡¯ll have the last leg cramp of your life.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m really really grateful that¡¯s what you ended up saying. I don¡¯t agree with you. Cause this fucking hurts and you telling me to treasure it while it¡¯s here is bullshit. But¡­ you could have said much dumber things.¡±

    ¡°Nah. I wouldn¡¯t do you like that.¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you?¡± Yvessa asked before turning to Sam. ¡°Just to be clear, what Felix told you is pretty far from a universal guarantee. You need to be significantly higher than¡­ level 1, to be able to confidently say that random muscle cramps are out of the cards for you. If he wasn¡¯t lying, then he was just lucky in avoiding getting them.¡±

    ¡°Counterpoint, I wasn¡¯t lying. I¡¯m just that good.¡±

    ¡°Ah.¡± Sam nodded. ¡°So it¡¯s one of those¡­ lovable quirks of yours. Yeah, in that case, fuck you.¡±

    ¡°You still have that other leg to go, mate.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fucking disturbing that you watched me close enough to know that.¡±

    ¡°Not really. It¡¯s just that you¡¯re always doing your right leg before your left.¡±

    ¡°And watching him close enough to realize that, isn¡¯t creepy?¡± Yvessa asked.

    Felix shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s just called being a good friend.¡±

    ¡°Would a good friend use the opportunity of his friend being in pain in order to stroke his own ego?¡±

    ¡°I think a good friend would allow their friend to use their being in pain for that purpose. If the friend had no recourse to provide.¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Sam said. ¡°Give it up, you two. It¡¯s confusing statements like those that give analytical philosophers a hard on¡ªsorry, an excuse, for using formal logic in their writing. That being said, I¡¯m totally on team Yvessa right now. Fuck you Felix. Now go grab me my bottle for atonement.¡±

    ¡°Sure thing. Sarah!¡± Felix turned his head towards her while she was mid-drink. ¡°Could you bring Sam his water?¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t count,¡± Sam said as Sarah nodded and bent down to grab Sam¡¯s bottle before making the four seconds journey to join them. ¡°Thank you.¡± He took the bottle from Sarah and drank a big mouthful in preparation for the last stretch of his stretches. God, how many times has he told himself that joke in the last month?

    ¡°Did you get a muscle cramp?¡± Sarah asked him as she sat down.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t that loud¡­¡±

    ¡°You weren¡¯t. But you¡¯re sitting like someone who got a muscle cramp mid stretch. I¡¯d have sent you to soak in a warm bath, but I know you wouldn¡¯t agree to waste ¡®all¡¯ that time.¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s just categorically not true. It¡¯s not the bath I¡¯m against. Quite the opposite. Baths are a great tool for efficient time usage, I could easily cultivate while sitting in a bathtub, for example. It¡¯s the walking to and from the where the bathing takes place that I object to.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the same thing.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d argue with you, but Felix already used up the second overdraft quota for our daily discussion of semantics. So I¡¯ll concede to your point. As long as I don¡¯t have to walk all the way to baths.¡±

    ¡°All five minutes¡­¡±

    ¡°Eight minutes. Bordering on nine. Remember that I¡¯m at that gym three times a week to your none.¡±

    She held up her hands. ¡°And I¡¯ll concede to you that point. Will you at least be willing to trace a little bit into your leg for my own mind¡¯s comfort?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ fine. I suppose so. I¡¯ll just have to make up for those three minutes of lost cultivating time.¡±

    ¡°Look on the bright side,¡± Felix said, ¡°if you end up coming short tomorrow of your goal¡ªwhatever it is¡ªat least you¡¯ll have someone to blame. Aside from yourself, of course.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I was about to correct you on that. Ahh¡­¡± he groaned with satisfaction as he got up for his standing stretches. ¡°Alright¡­ I¡¯mma head out,¡± he said after he was finished with those. ¡°See you guys tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t forget about tracing to that leg,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°I won¡¯t. I¡¯m going to do that in the shower. Promise.¡± Unfortunately, he couldn¡¯t promise to do that on while walking back to his room, that way getting it out of the way immediately, as he wasn¡¯t yet competent enough with tracing to do it while paying attention to his surrounding. He had easier time than with gathering, sure, and he could even mange it at times¡ªalthough the only time he did try was when his practice with Dan specifically called for that¡ªbut he¡¯d rather not run the risk of ending the day by running into someone or something.

    Once back in his room, he quickly stripped down¡ªmaking a mental note to remind himself to set his alarm for Saturday a little early so he could get the laundry going before he left for his spear training¡ªand stepped into the shower. The electric toothbrush was already there waiting for him¡ªa recent behavioral innovation that saved him something like two seconds every day (more if he forgot to take it into the shower with him)¡ªaccompanied by the shower¡¯s set of toothpaste and mouthwash (an older innovation; one that invited Sam to debate the moral quandary of buying a whole other toothbrush just for the shower).

    He slotted his Sarah ordered tracing for after he was done with the lion¡¯s share of the cleaning process¡ªscrubbing with soap¡ªwhich meant that he had to skip over his usual two to three minutes of standing under the hot water and doing nothing if he wanted the shower to not run too long.

    Closing his eyes, he brought to mind his left leg and the pathways running through it. His muscle cramp came from his lower thigh, so he focused his tracing to that region. A month of constant training in tracing had brought improvement to his ability with the process, but not enough for there not to be a huge waste of time and energy from his still nascent skill. True, most of the energy he drew from his core appeared close enough to the pathways he envisioned in a way that would¡¯ve been seen as adequate enough by your average non-pursuing-of-magic civilian. But Sam¡¯s standards would have to be much higher than that. It wasn¡¯t most of the energy that he was after, but as close to all of it as humanely possible. As it were, the wisps of energy making their way towards his thigh from either the sole of his foot or his kidneys were like a black mark, a stark reminder of how much more he had to improve.

    Luckily, his demands from this current tracing were general enough to be easily satisfied by his lackluster drawing performance, and slow pure tracing speed, so he didn¡¯t bother waiting for the magic to make its way through his pathways until it all coalesced where he wanted. Instead, he simply traced every couple of seconds¡ªonce enough energy had gathered to seem worth it (but still not enough for there not to be a huge waste)¡ªthe only actual tracing that he knew how to do: creating a bridge from his pathways into his physical body for the magic to cross. Roughly a minute after he started, and four sets of the tracing completed, he stopped drawing magic from his core and ran one more tracing, before letting what remained of the magical energy throughout his pathways peacefully dissipate.

    He was still very far from understanding, and being able to understand, what exactly dissipation was and how it worked, but he knew enough to know that it was waste; it was always going to be waste. Some of the dissipating energy would find its way back to his core (provided that it was not full), a smaller fraction would manage to flow into his body. But most of the energy would be gone. Not really gone, he knew that much. Unaffected magical energy approximated the first law of thermodynamics close enough for that to not be possible. But it was certainly gone out of his grasp. Released back into the world. A whole can of worms that Sam didn¡¯t need Dan to tell him was too complicated a subject for now.

    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

    He took a couple of seconds to compose himself, resting his head under the warm current before returning to the principal function of the shower. His leg, of course, didn¡¯t feel any different. It would take a lot more magical energy flowing into it to have any noticeable change. Dan¡¯s showcase on the ability of magical energy to heal a small cut simply by its own properties was very much out of Sam¡¯s grasp for the foreseeable future. Still, in his lessons with Dan, he had drawn his core to emptiness while tracing into his body plenty of times by now. And that did have a barely noticeable effect on his body. Sometimes.

    With the shower done, he settled on his desk-chair for his daily second dose of fifteen minutes of meditation, after which he got dressed for bed and set his mind to planning the rest of the evening. He didn¡¯t have much time left in the day, even after taking half an hour from his hour and a half mandatory leisure time because he didn¡¯t think he needed all of it today. Granted, he hadn¡¯t felt like needing it for quite a few days now, and he was growing dangerously close to habituating this new behavior, but he was only playing it by the ear. And most recent evenings, his ear kept telling him that giving up that half hour wasn¡¯t a big deal.

    Nah, it¡¯s alright, he decided after a brief internal exchange, I can do without that half hour today. Let¡¯s just use it for cultivating and keep the rest of the schedule as usual. Which meant an hour and a half of studying, going longer or shorter depending on the material and his pace with it, followed by whatever remained of the night (so plus half an hour today) for cultivating. On the study menu for today he had some more magical theory, same as tomorrow and yesterday, but thankfully (was it though?) not Saturday, as that day¡¯s study subjects were barren of magic.

    The next two and a half hours passed swiftly and without trouble as Sam didn¡¯t pay any more attention to the time after he moved up his daily ¡°end of the work-day¡± alarm clock by half an hour (and as long as that alarm remained on 2215, could anyone speak of him making this new routine a habit?) until he was brought out of focusing on his core by that very same alarm. Gritting his teeth, he let out an annoyed grunt as he got up to stretch for a bit. He kept hoping that this time he would be able to avoid losing focus due to the alarm. And he kept being disappointed. Which meant that not only did he have to contend with the annoyance of losing time due to a lost cycle, but also that his focus still had a long way to go before he could match up to just your average first year cadet.

    He muttered some half-formulated thoughts about at least having something to complain about before swiftly throwing his mind away from that topic. Thinking more about that wasn¡¯t going to help him fall asleep later. He finished the last of his obligation of the day by returning Sarah a thumbs-up to her question of whether he traced or not and gave a sigh as he sat, finally unfocused and without purpose, before the monitor. Deciding that now wasn¡¯t the time for any change in routine, he ended up finishing the day in the same fashion as yesterday: forty-five minutes of TV and fifteen minutes of reading.

    <u>                                                                                                    </u>

    He was not surprised that the first thing to come out of Felix¡¯s mouth when they met the following morning was, ¡°So, are you excited for today?¡±

    ¡°Why would my answer have changed from yesterday?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe you changed your mind. Or your definition of some words.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t complain about people dragging you into semantic debates when you keep going on like that. You know that, right?¡±

    ¡°Look, this doesn¡¯t have anything to do with semantics. Not today. I¡¯m simply interested in how you¡¯re feeling. And I can¡¯t word it any other way, yes? I can¡¯t ask, ¡®So, Sam, are you worried about today?¡¯ All in all, I think excited covers the meaning of what I mean to inquire of you quite clearly.¡±

    Sam stared back at him blankly. ¡°Yes, you can. You just did. ¡®How are you feeling about today?¡¯ It¡¯s as simple as that.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ If you ask me, that has negative connotations.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. I¡¯m not getting into this with you first thing in the morning. I¡¯m feeling fine. Thank you for asking.¡±

    ¡°My pleasure.¡± Felix gave him a wink and a fist-bump as they rejoined Saran and Yvessa for the warm-up.

    Miraculously, Sarah had manged to avoid commenting on Sam¡¯s ¡°test¡± well into their breakfast (directly commenting that is, you had to discount her general behavior: more worried than usual, coupled with some innocent questions as to Sam¡¯s wellbeing sprinkled throughout their time together). Even more amazingly, she managed to pass the comment off nonchalantly; just wishing Sam good luck on his test and stopping at that. Now that was character development if Sam¡¯s ever seen some.

    In truth, he wasn¡¯t all that worried about the test. He worked as hard as he could in ¡°preparation¡± for it, so if he got a bad score, that wasn¡¯t due to anything he could¡¯ve done otherwise. This was a level of self-assurance that was quite new to Sam. Sure, he had worked hard on some stuff before, be they tests or otherwise, but never to the level of being completely confident that he couldn¡¯t have possibly tried harder. Of course, maybe he could¡¯ve. Maybe he was just deluding himself about the amount of effort he put into cultivating for the last month. But his judgment wasn¡¯t the only basis for his confidence, in fact it was the lesser of the two reasons. The other being, of course, the lack of any appearance from the being sharing his head for the last month. He had decided to put all of his trust into Web-Web¡¯s appraisal of his efforts, after all. So as long as the AI hadn¡¯t found something amiss with Sam¡¯s efforts, that surely meant that Sam was doing just fine.

    Although, it¡¯s not like that reassuring argument didn¡¯t have any logical holes in it. After all, Web-Web was only supposed to contact him if Sam was putting in less than the minimal amount of effort required from him in order to fulfil his Web-wide goal. If that minimal amount of overall effort did not equal the maximum amount of effort Sam could give to cultivating, then Sam had no reassurance that Web-Web¡¯s lack of communication meant that Sam had cultivated to the best of his abilities.

    Ugh! This line of thinking isn¡¯t going to lead me anywhere. He shook his head in annoyance. Just use common sense and realize that I worked hard enough on cultivating and it¡¯s unreasonable to worry about it anymore. Then again, where does common sense come into the picture when the fate of entire worlds is at stake? Fuck! Just stop thinking about it. He bit on his tongue as he opened the door to Dan¡¯s office. He really was the master at making himself feel worse for no reason.

    ¡°Good morning Dan,¡± he greeted his, seated in the middle of the room and not the back for a change, private tutor. ¡°What¡¯s the occasion that you¡¯re all ready for us to start straight from the get go?¡±

    ¡°No occasion. Just a lower workload today than usual. Since I finished with my work early, I was simply taking a break while waiting for you.¡±

    ¡°A well-deserved break. I approve,¡± Sam said as he sat down. ¡°So what are we starting with today?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ Up to you. Would you rather we test how far along your core has come now, or shall we save it for last?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Sam said. ¡°Doesn¡¯t really matter to me,¡± he lied. ¡°I¡¯ll leave that decision up to you.¡±

    ¡°Very well, then. We¡¯ll leave that for after lunch. If only because I left the artifact back in my desk and I don¡¯t want to go and get it right now.¡±

    ¡°¡­ I can also get up and get it.¡±

    ¡°No, let¡¯s not waste any time on it. Start tracing. Empty your core once to each limb¡­ No, scratch that, let¡¯s go with the three major organs and the eyes. Do heart followed by lungs, then brain, then eyes. We haven¡¯t practiced this yet, but it¡¯s a great exercise for improving your drawing ability. As long as you¡¯re really focusing on just the one organ¡ªor the one set of organs when we get to that level¡ªyou¡¯re after. So when you¡¯re tracing to your lungs, really focus on differentiating between the sensations and the motions you followed while tracing to your heart.¡±

    Sam nodded and started tracing as per Dan¡¯s instructions. While he indeed hadn¡¯t done this particular exercise as yet, he had traced to all those organs a couple of times by now. After the fourth time he emptied his core, Dan had Sam repeat the exercise, only this time with his hand leaning on Sam¡¯s shoulder, following Sam¡¯s tracing directly. Sam didn¡¯t know how Dan could bear it, but if the older man suffered as a result of his teaching method, then he suffered in silence. He wasn¡¯t completely silent, of course, as there were plenty of comments to be made on Sam¡¯s tracing; what he did right and what he did wrong. Well, not plenty, but enough that it was clear Dan was actually paying close attention to the inside of Sam¡¯s pathways. Again, Sam didn¡¯t know how Dan could stomach it. No matter to what heights Sam would rise to in the future, he would never come to being as good a teacher as Dan was.

    Eventually, Dan returned to his seat and to the less demanding part of the lesson for him and had Sam empty his core to each limb before emptying twice to the body at large. Tracing to his entire body at once was by far the hardest tracing Sam had had to do, and the difficulty hadn¡¯t changed at all since Dan introduced the exercise more than a week ago. Dan told him that being able to articulate and correctly explain why that tracing was so much harder than any other would be the best benchmark for whether Sam mastered basic tracing. He really wished Dan would¡¯ve given him a timetable of when it¡¯s expected of him to reach that benchmark because, as it was, he didn¡¯t feel anywhere close to having an answer.

    It was still not quite time for lunch when Sam finished with this last exercise so Dan had him spend the remainder of their morning lesson by working on pure tracing¡ªmoving magic through his pathways without having the crutch of drawing helping focus his mind on speeding the energy on its way. Drawless tracing wasn¡¯t really used in either civilian or military life but the latter one at least had a use for it in the (very) rare circumstance when a fighter¡¯s core ran dry but the magic running through his pathways was enough to see him through the fight. Despite that, practicing drawless tracing was greatly used by the military, as it was a great tool for helping people improve their ability to trace.

    Dan accompanied him to lunch today, using their walk to the mess-hall in order to refill Sam¡¯s almost empty core. They were joined there by Maurice, the third time he ate with them as it happened, although this time, he made no pretense of not having an ulterior motive.

    ¡°You realize you didn¡¯t have to come all the way here, right?¡± Sam asked him. ¡°I could¡¯ve just texted you the results.¡±

    ¡°Be that as it may,¡± the researcher said, ¡°if it is possible for me to do so, then I much prefer personally taking part in any observations upon which I write.¡±

    ¡°Is your paper just about me, or about Taken in general?¡±

    ¡°Ehm¡­ just about you. And it¡¯s not a paper per se. It¡¯s just a set of observations. Raw data about you. Nothing more.¡±

    ¡°Just raw data? No conclusions? Doesn¡¯t sound like something that requires someone of your caliber to observe.¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ well¡ª¡±

    ¡°He isn¡¯t allowed to write about anything more than that,¡± Dan said. ¡°At least not officially. Doing that would require your assent, first of all, which, even if you end up giving, isn¡¯t going to get him anywhere. As the forces you¡¯ve involved yourself with won¡¯t allow you to be made a subject of published research.¡±

    ¡°Forces I¡¯ve involved myself with?¡± Sam tilted his head. ¡°What the hell does that mean?¡±

    ¡°Farris.¡±

    ¡°What? Why? Just because I¡¯m¡ªOh, wait¡­ never mind. I see where you¡¯re going with this.¡± He turned to Maurice. ¡°So what are you making those observations for if you can¡¯t make any use of them? Or were you already committed to the endeavor before Farris got into the picture and you don¡¯t want your efforts to go to waste?¡±

    ¡°Knowledge for knowledge¡¯s sake is its own reward. Besides, I wasn¡¯t going to draw any conclusion about you, least of all publish anything, even before Farris and you met. I have not drawn any conclusion about Sarah nor about any other living Taken I¡¯ve observed. I have just collected whatever data I had about them for people to be able to use in case there was any reason to in the future. For example, if you were ever to stop being the only member of your set, be it an adult post-integration Taken or a Thread-Weaver Taken, we could make use of our information about you to better deal with this new Taken.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re not going to use my information to try and figure out the secret behind the Taken or something like that?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s more the prerogative of people like Farris. I¡¯m just interested in the empirical data; how we could use it to help other Taken.¡±

    ¡°A noble goal,¡± Sam said. What he didn¡¯t say was that it was most likely a useless one. Unless he was mistaken, he was the last going to be Taken, or at least Terran Taken. From his understanding of Web-Web¡¯s and their reasoning, the AI would¡¯ve had no reason to return anyone else after Sam.

    So it was that three of them came back to Dan¡¯s office after lunch and four pairs of eyes landed on him as he took the familiar metallic artifact from Dan¡¯s outstretched hand. This is my first time holding an artifact after my Awakening, he thought once he realized that he could actually see what it was that the artifact did. Just a shame that he couldn¡¯t understand it. The formation composed of the many interwoven patterns imprinted beneath the artifact¡¯s surface was already working when Sam got hold of it, which meant that Dan must¡¯ve activated if beforehand¡ªthe only way for a pattern (and thus, a formation) to activate without sentient intervention was for a different pattern to trace magic through it. And since there wasn¡¯t any point in having a conscious pattern performing that role, that meant a constant power source to keep the sustained pattern activated, a power source that this artifact did not have.

    Alas, that was as far as his understanding of the artifact¡¯s formation extended. He could not make heads nor tails of the individual patterns, not to mention how they all came together by causing magic to be drawn from his core and traced through his hand into the artifact. He was aware that he could¡¯ve stopped the artifact from being able to draw energy from his core, or hold the energy in place once it was in his pathways. The slightest effort of will and the artifact would¡¯ve been rendered powerless. He almost tried acting upon that sensation, just to see how it would¡¯ve felt to impose his own will on his body, but decided against it. Save it for later.

    Finally, the last remnants of the magic drawn from his core were gone from his hand¡ªthe artifact managing to both draw and trace much better than Sam could¡¯ve¡ªand the artifact released its old familiar click. Sam stared despondently at the inert artifact and the sole remaining pattern being traced on it. ¡°So I¡¯m assuming this jigsaw pattern tells you the result and I simply can¡¯t read it yet?¡± he asked Dan while handing him back the artifact.

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Dan said, ¡°not for too long, though. We¡¯ll be starting on numeric patterns in a couple of weeks.¡± He then turned to Maurice. ¡°Here doctor, for your observations.¡±

    ¡°And for mine?¡± Sam asked.

    Dan nodded and took a sit, gesturing Sam and Maurice to do the same, which they both did. ¡°I¡¯m happy to report that you have exceeded my expectations. Although perhaps ¡®expectations¡¯ is the wrong word. Let¡¯s say the minimal requirements for you to be able to continue with your plan of finishing your studies in two and a half years. I reasoned that an advancement of around seven to nine percent towards level 1 would¡¯ve been that minimum goal that you had to meet. A very good progress, mind you, for just a over a month of both cultivating and learning how to cultivate from scratch.¡±

    ¡°Farris said he expected me to be around a tenth¡­¡±

    ¡°Yes, he told me the same. I¡¯m sure that he¡¯ll be happy to hear that you¡¯ve also managed to exceed his expectations.¡±

    ¡°So? You gonna keeping beating around the bush?¡±

    ¡°You are currently a little over thirteen percent of the way to level 1. Congratulations.¡±

 Chapter 78

    Sam stilled his triumphant mind and racing heart, both rushing ahead of himself and on the cusp of giving him some unjust due. Instead, he turned to Maurice and asked, ¡°And how does thirteen percent match with your observations of other Taken?¡±

    Maurice raised an eyebrow and gave Sam a thin smile. ¡°I must wonder why it is that you¡¯re asking me such a question; to what purpose? Are you seeking to assure yourself of the magnitude of your own achievements by finding out whether, or how much, you were better than those that came before you? Or is it the opposite? Are you hoping to downplay your rate of progress by finding people who fared just as good, if not better, than you? Whatever the reason, I can find you Taken to fit either category. But we both are well aware how incorrect it would be to use any other Taken as a basis of comparison with you. After all, we had just spent most of lunch talking about what a unique unit you are.¡±

    ¡°Nevertheless, Maurice.¡±

    ¡°Very well, if you must have me spell it out for you. From my data on other post-integration Taken, yours would have to be the greatest increase in core capacity in the period of five weeks. Even the fact that most of these Taken don¡¯t have their progress to level 1 calculated as close to their return are yours doesn¡¯t raise any problems, as we have plenty of data that points to many of them being behind you even after a longer period. Of course, that much is a given, seeing as you are more than six years older than even the oldest post-integration Taken on record.¡±

    ¡°Not to mention all the personal attention I¡¯m getting.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­ that is perhaps not as great a difference between you and some Taken as you think it is. Of course, there are also Taken who have progressed much faster than you. Seeing as they were level 1 by the time a month of the return has passed. How is that possible, I wonder?¡±

    ¡°They killed Harots...¡±

    ¡°Exactly. So what we¡¯re really looking for is an adult Taken who didn¡¯t have access to Harots after his return. Any other Taken does not provide us a similar enough basis for comparing between you and them. Care to guess how many Taken we have on record as fitting that requirement?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Sam sighed. ¡°I can take the hint. No comparing myself and other Taken. But what about the ningani, then? And their¡­ very young adults or gifted children or whatever they¡¯re called?¡±

    ¡°They are not called,¡± Dan said. ¡°It is considered taboo in ningani society to speak of the process of mental development. The most you would hear being said of a ningani like that is that they were ¡®early to the page.¡¯ And none of those early to the page ningani provides us a good basis to compare with you. While there might be ningani who were as mentally developed as you are when they had their Awakening. They would have had much more knowledge than you. Which, to our discussion today, means that they would¡¯ve been able to dedicate a greater amount of time to cultivating than you were.¡±

    Sam raised his hands in defeat. ¡°Fine, I get it, no comparing. So what conclusion can we draw from my thirteen percent? If any? After all, if we can¡¯t compare me to anyone else, then all the information we¡¯ve gained from observing everyone else can¡¯t be used when it comes to me.¡±

    Maurice chuckled. ¡°We can¡¯t draw up a scientific theory, no. Nor can we make any certain judgment about where the future will lead you. For my part, I¡¯d say that we can¡¯t analyze any single individual like that. But I digress. We can still make the safe conclusion that your rate of improvement has been good. Good enough to, as Dan said, meet your overarching goal.¡±

    Dan nodded. ¡°Besides, I only said that you shouldn¡¯t compare yourself to those few unique ningani. We can still compare your rate of advancement with that of people who are¡­ closer to you in knowledge and draw a conclusion from that. Say that it takes the average Terran¡ªtwelve or thirteen years-old, but still¡ªhalf a year to reach where you are now. And then two more years after that to reach level 1. If the ratio between those two periods remains the same, then we can assume that you¡¯ll manage to reach level 1 before the year¡¯s end.¡±

    ¡°And do you?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Oh certainly. I was never much worried about your ability to cultivate and how fast your core progresses. Even before I was made aware of your¡­ talents, forgive me the word, in that department. Like I said, I raised seven percent as the minimum for you to achieve because it seemed good enough; a showcase of your general ability to juggle between all the different obligations required of you in your studies here. But it was, and is, your actual studies that I am most concerned about. Levels can be made up in time, but if you start next year without possessing all the prerequisite knowledge to make the most of it, then you¡¯ll probably be set back by that forever.

    ¡°Still, your thirteen percent is great news. Your progress makes it all but certain that if you keep going as you are today, that you¡¯ll reach level 1 before the gap in the knowledge and skills requiring level 1 to obtain and practice become too wide for you to be able to bridge in just two years. Not to mention that we need to take into account the burden of your training as a Thread-Weaver. And that¡¯s just keeping as you are. It also means that you could, if you find the need to, take some of the time you¡¯ve been spending cultivating and dedicating it for your studies¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yes or use it to relax instead,¡± Maurice said.

    Sam stared at him with narrowed eyes. ¡°Has Sarah been talking to you?¡±

    ¡°Among other people.¡±

    ¡°Figures.¡± He grumbled before turning back to Dan. ¡°So any other verdict we should draw for this test result or should we move on?¡±

    ¡°None for now, in my opinion, Maurice?¡±

    ¡°I should think not. Nothing more to say other than that it¡¯s a very good ¡®result.¡¯ You should be proud of yourself. A clear sign that some of your self-insecurity is misplaced.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that under consideration,¡± Sam said. ¡°Wait for the next time you join us for one of these tests before making any call to action.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see. I think I¡¯ll be satisfied with just having the results forwarded to me next time.¡±

    ¡°What happened to preferring to make the observation yourself if possible?¡±

    Maurice shrugged and stood up. ¡°It was a good excuse that ran its course. And like all good excuses, it was completely true under the specific circumstances and only falls short when examined in general.¡± A short exchange of farewells later, and Sam and Dan were left alone as the good doctor closed the door behind him.

    ¡°Shall we move on, then?¡± Dan asked.

    Sam nodded, but immediately stopped mid-motion. ¡°Wait, I just remembered. I wanted to try resisting the pull from the artifact. Just to see what it felt like. If that¡¯s alright, I mean. There isn¡¯t a chance to damage it or anything, right?¡±

    ¡°No. Just to screw up its result. Here, feel free to see how it feels for yourself.¡± Dan handed Sam back the artifact, already powered on as before.

    This time, Sam made that slight effort of will that he felt compelled to do before. For a lack of a better term, he simply closed his core. The ethereal connection between his pathways and that one spot in his right heel, where his core still resided for now, was blocked for all traffic. All traffic? Sam wondered but kept silent for now as he opened back his core and focused on fighting against the attempts of the artifact to direct the magic being drawn in the pathways of Sam¡¯s hand to trace into his physical hand. This venture was less successful, as some of Sam¡¯s magic made it through, and Sam was tempted to ask what his score read out now.

    Reminded of the importance of prudent use of time, he shook his head in annoyance and just asked the pertinent question, ¡°So I closed my core, right? Is that¡¯s what it¡¯s called?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much. That or blocking your core are the most common terms for it.¡±

    ¡°So if I did that while having any sustained patterns active, that weren¡¯t self-gathering like the translator, would they have stopped working as well?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Completely blocking the core would cause all patterns to stop working once they ran out of magic. Of course, eventually, not soon, but soon enough, you¡¯ll be able to control your body¡¯s unconscious drawing at will. So there will be no reason for you to close your core at all. Not that there is much reason now, mind you. It¡¯s not like the artifact would¡¯ve damaged you in any shape or form. Blocking your core is pretty much only used as a time saver. Instead of stopping all your sustained patterns one by one, you stop supplying magic to them until they all turn off.¡±

    Sam nodded and handed the artifact back to Dan before straightening in his sit, acquiesced. ¡°Alright. That¡¯s all I wanted to ask. Back to calculating magical energy dissipation, then?¡± The answer was, of course, positive, and the subject of dissipation lasted them all the way through the lesson time of magical theory, even pushing into patterns a bit (not necessarily an indicator of Sam¡¯s difficulty with the technical aspects of the subject but simply due to the time spent on testing his progress out of level zero). And despite saying that they would get to numeric patterns in only a couple of weeks, Dan gave him a little taste of that in the last five minutes of their time together¡ªafter they had finished their planned material on patterns on time¡ªby roughly translating for him the pattern that showcased his results. Sam had a newfound appreciation for the people who had to teach children the meaning of digits.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you guys think it¡¯s bullshit?¡± he asked his friends after he joined them for dinner and explained his conundrum. ¡°Why does the translator work for other numerical systems? Like that god awful deshar one. Or even for binary code, somehow. But it doesn¡¯t work on ¡®the language of patterns?¡¯ Something just doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what doesn¡¯t make sense,¡± Felix said. ¡°Trying to make sense of the universal translator. That thing¡¯s pretty much just your classical trope of ancient esoteric magic combined with the trope of futuristic unexplainable technology. Stop trying to figure out how stuff that no one knows how they work, work.¡±

    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°And what doesn¡¯t make any sense to me¡­¡± Sarah glared at Sam. ¡°Is how the first thing out of your mouth wasn¡¯t how close you are to level 1?¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Makes total sense to me.¡±

    ¡°Try again.¡±

    ¡°Alright, alright. I¡¯m thirteen percent on the way there. Are you happy now?¡±

    ¡°Thirteen percent?¡± Felix clapped him on the back. ¡°That¡¯s pretty fucking great, mate. Good job.¡±

    ¡°Congratulation.¡± Yvessa nodded.

    Sarah stared at Sam, lips pursed and eyes narrowed. ¡°I am happy, yes. That¡¯s amazing progress. Are you happy?¡± She let the question hang.

    ¡°Of course I am. Why wouldn¡¯t I be?¡±

    ¡°You tell me. The only reasons I could think of are dumb. Like you hoping to be a fifth of the way there because that¡¯s two times greater than where your mentor predicated you¡¯d be. Or, more probable, if somehow even more dumb, maybe you¡¯re grumbling, saying ¡®that if I made it all the way to thirteen than I could¡¯ve worked harder to make it all the way to sixteen. That¡¯s only three more to reach my favorite number.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Hey, I don¡¯t sound like that! I¡¯m way whinier.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re really thinking that?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Of course not! Well, depending on what you mean by thinking. That thought has floated up into my consciousness, yes, but I hadn¡¯t given it any serious consideration. And it¡¯s one of the first things they try to teach you in both meditation and CBT: just because a thought is there, it doesn¡¯t mean anything. So I¡¯d really appreciate it if we all could stop trying to draw conclusions based on my errant thoughts.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re sounding really defensive, mate.¡±

    ¡°I have a persecution complex. Sue me.¡±

    ¡°So you are satisfied, then?¡± Sarah asked him.

    ¡°I am, yes. Very much so. You¡¯re right, of course, we can always aspire to greater heights and reach disappointment and dissatisfaction thus. But right now I¡¯m very much satisfied with the heights I¡¯ve reached and the efforts I¡¯ve put in to reach them. You¡¯re also right that I would¡¯ve way more happy with being sixteen percent of the way there¡ªWhen did I tell you sixteen was my favorite number?¡±

    ¡°A couple of times already.¡±

    ¡°And you remembered? How? I definitely don¡¯t remember telling you the story of how it came to be my favorite number.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Please don¡¯t ask him for the story,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry grouchy,¡± Sam reassured him. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to tell the story anyway. I don¡¯t like it very much. It¡¯s not very good.¡±

    ¡°As opposed to all your other stories?¡±

    ¡°Uh uh. And that should tell you something. But let¡¯s leave my theory of numerology for another time, shall we? That¡¯s good conversation material and I¡¯m saving it for a special occasion. Also, for after I¡¯ve read a bit about numerology so that I can better make fun of it.¡±

    ¡°I just want your assurance that you¡¯re not going to go to sleep tonight, dissatisfied with the progress you¡¯ve made,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Because there¡¯s self-criticism and health perfectionism, and there¡¯s that.¡±

    ¡°Then I promise you. I¡¯m perfectly happy with the progress I¡¯ve made, even if the number signifying it could¡¯ve been prettier. Not that I dislike thirteen all that much. Besides, it¡¯s not like if I¡¯d have gotten seventeen or nineteen I would¡¯ve been mad about those, right? Oh, me and Dan ate lunch with Maurice again today. He even joined us for the test. Your idea?¡±

    ¡°Nope. First I¡¯m hearing of it. I¡¯m happy to hear that, though. Maybe he¡¯s finally going to stop taking every meal in his office alone.¡±

    ¡°No way. Even breakfast and dinner?¡±

    ¡°Most days he¡¯s working, yes.¡±

    ¡°We have to do something! What do you guys say? Dinner with Maurice every Thursday? The hospital is close to our training field, after all.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Felix said, ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s going to happen.¡± He gestured towards Yvessa.

    She scoffed. ¡°I¡¯m perfectly capable of eating dinner with him. That one time was just that, a onetime occurrence. Besides, who says that he¡¯ll be happy to join us for dinner once a week?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fair,¡± Sam said. ¡°You three are practically still teenagers.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re back to age jokes, are we?¡± Felix asked. ¡°And this time you¡¯ve included Sarah in the young department.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right, that was my bad. You two.¡±

    Sarah chuckled. ¡°If you guys don¡¯t have a problem with eating with him. I¡¯m sure I could force him to eat with us at least once every two weeks. Sam was right though, it¡¯ll pretty much have to be at the hospital, otherwise he would never agree to a non-event meal. You¡¯re sure that you won¡¯t have a problem with that, though, Yv?¡±

    Yvessa shrugged, feigning indifference. ¡°If it¡¯s fine by him, then it¡¯s fine by me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s great! I¡¯ll make plans for next week, then.¡±

    ¡°Good job, Sam,¡± Sam said and lowered his head to present his back for a table-wide clapping. ¡°That¡¯s a great showing you¡¯ve just had today.¡±

    ¡°Good job, Sam.¡± Sarah laughed and reached forward to clap his shoulder. ¡°You should be proud of yourself. Diligent and ethical. Your role model would be proud.¡±

    Sam made himself tear and choke up. ¡°You think he would?¡±

    Felix blinked in confusion. ¡°Who are we talking about now?¡±

    ¡°Who do you think?¡± Yvessa rolled her eyes at him.

    ¡°It¡¯s not Farris, right?¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Sam was indignant. ¡°Of course not. I don¡¯t know anything about Farris¡¯ moral qualities and ethical paradigms as of yet.¡±

    Felix groaned. ¡°Why do you have to bring up Kant all the time?¡±

    ¡°What?! I wasn¡¯t the one that brought him up. And until you¡¯ve specifically mentioned him by name, it could¡¯ve been anyone. It could¡¯ve been a Baruch. It could¡¯ve been any of the three Johns. It could¡¯ve even been any number of Pratchett characters¡ªI was thinking Granny, to balance some of the male gaze. You¡¯re the one that collapsed the quantum whatever and made sure that my role model for the joke would be Kant.¡±

    ¡°Come off it. It was always going to be Kant. Sarah, who were you thinking of?¡±

    ¡°Hawkeye Pierce.¡± She smiled innocently.

    ¡°Nice!¡± Sam gave her a thumbs up. Her education was coming up nicely (surely any day now she would actually watch the show). ¡°Very well done.¡± Turning back to Felix with a pitying look, he said, ¡°Honestly, buddy, I could sit here all day and present you with individuals who are fit enough for me to recognize as role models, as per Sarah¡¯s statement. It didn¡¯t have to be Kant. I admit, it could¡¯ve been Kant if I were forced to name a person out loud. But I wasn¡¯t. Therefore, all the blame for bringing him up lies with you. Just face it with your reason, like a good little Kantian.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t even know what that means,¡± Felix lied. ¡°I do know what numeric patterns mean, though. Can we talk about that instead?¡±

    ¡°In a couple of weeks, sure.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Only a couple of weeks? Really? That¡¯s actually incredible.¡±

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°very impressive.¡±

    ¡°Wait¡­¡± Sam squinted at the two in confusion. ¡°Are you guys being serious?¡±

    ¡°Of course. It took me a about a year to start learning numeric patterns after I started my general studies of patterns.¡±

    ¡°The difference of seven years coming into play, I suppose,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°It was eight for me.¡±

    ¡°Well, look who¡¯s a bright young jewel. Remind us again when did your core reach fragmented?¡±

    ¡°Before yours did, no?¡±

    ¡°Tsk.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re really not performing up to specs today, are you Felix?¡± Sam laughed.

    ¡°It¡¯s your fault. You brought me out of it. I can¡¯t compete with so many people at once. I forget what metrics I need to use in order to come up the clear winner against each one of you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve got an easy solution for you, then. Simply don¡¯t compete against me. Just admit that I¡¯m better than you and let it go. Focus on other, more attainable, rivals.¡±

    ¡°You realize what a crushing morale blow that would be to me if I admit defeat to you with how many self-deprecating comments you make in a single day?¡±

    ¡°Hey¡­¡± Sam shrugged. ¡°Maybe you need some of that low morale in your life. It would help you see what it feels like to be me, and maybe through that you¡¯ll be able to perform as well as I am.¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously advocating for that tortured artist cliche?¡±

    ¡°Oh God, you¡¯re right. That does sound analogous. Never mind, I take back what I just said until I¡¯ve had time to rebuild the argument fully and examine it thoroughly. I¡¯m not retracting the claim of being better than you, though.¡±

    ¡°What about when a joke requires you do to so?¡±

    ¡°Still. We¡¯ve already covered how I¡¯m not above sliding down to hypocrisy. Oh, speaking of hypocrisy, Sarah.¡± He turned to face her.

    ¡°What?¡± She started back at him.

    ¡°Care to guess who the latest person to advise me to take it easy is? I¡¯ll give you a hint: the entire conversation up to now.¡±

    ¡°Look, just because Maurice told you something, it doesn¡¯t mean I told him to say it. He¡¯s not my mouthpiece. If he¡¯s thinking that you¡¯re working too hard and can afford to ease off a little bit, then that¡¯s his opinion. The only role I played in him formulating it is supplying him with the objective facts.¡±

    ¡°So what does Maurice say about you and your use of time?¡±

    ¡°Nothing, as there is nothing to say.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t compute, I should think.¡±

    ¡°No? I think it makes perfect sense. Haven¡¯t we already covered how your schedule is stricter than mine?¡±

    ¡°Hmmm,¡± Sam grumbled. ¡°I¡¯m not buying it. But I¡¯ll let it slide for now.¡±

    ¡°So are we to understand that your exceeding of expectations won¡¯t result in you changing your daily schedule?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Nope. Which means we are still on for lunch tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re still doing those study sessions together?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Just tomorrow¡¯s planned, for now. As I¡¯m going to have reached halfway through the second textbook by then.¡±

    ¡°And what do you get out of that?¡± Felix asked Yvessa.

    She shrugged. ¡°A sense of fulfilling one¡¯s duty?¡±

    ¡°I agreed to be the one to bring food tomorrow,¡± Sam added. ¡°Not to all the way to her room, of course. We¡¯ll be eating outside, unfortunately. So please pray for a sunny day if you¡¯d be so kind.¡±

    Yvessa crossed her hands. ¡°There¡¯s no way that I¡¯m going to eat where I sleep¡­ as long as I don¡¯t have to.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t say I agree, but I¡¯m certainly not judging.¡±

    ¡°You most certainly were.¡±

    ¡°Sure. But I¡¯m not now.¡±

    ¡°May I remind you who¡¯s helping whom tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Does my bringing you lunch doesn¡¯t count?¡±

    ¡°No. I¡¯m not as obsessed with time usage as you.¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡± Felix chuckled. ¡°You¡¯re obsessed with your bedroom¡¯s cleanliness instead.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the last person who should comment about other people¡¯s attitude towards the room they sleep in.¡±

    Felix nodded sheepishly with a shrug before suddenly jerking his head and turning to Sam. ¡°Wait, doesn¡¯t that mean that you¡¯re about to pass me in the material about elven history?¡±

    ¡°I guess? If the frontal classes don¡¯t cover anything that the textbook doesn¡¯t. Are you not reading ahead?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely not! On both counts. This is complete bullshit, you know that, right? It¡¯s making a mockery of the entire educational system of this fine academy of ours. What does that mean that someone is able to finish going over two courses in so little time?¡±

    ¡°That there¡¯s not a lot of material compared to most other courses and that the relatively short frontal classes are just for the people who don¡¯t want to read the textbooks?¡±

    ¡°Also, that they spent a lot of time reading those textbooks,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ it¡¯s my most studied subject after magical theory, I suppose. I¡¯m way ahead of the schedule with it. I just wanted to start getting some courses out of the way, and this one seemed easiest.¡±

    ¡°I still call bullshit.¡± Felix was indignant. ¡°I¡¯ve made up my mind. From now on I¡¯m not going to the classes as well. I¡¯m already reading the textbooks, so I¡¯m going to use that time for other ventures!¡±

    Yvessa laughed. ¡°Won¡¯t you be sorely missed in class? What will happen if you run into the teacher and she comments on the fact that the most outspoken and knowledgeable student of hers is no longer present in class?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯ll survive. And hopefully understand. The class will go on without me. Others will rise to the challenge, surely.¡±

    ¡°Wait.¡± Sam snorted. ¡°You were being serious? You really are the golden boy of elven history class?¡±

    ¡°In a way.¡±

    ¡°Did you describe yourself to Yvessa that way?¡±

    ¡°I was just presenting the objective facts of my time spent in class.¡±

    ¡°Look, one more person throws the word ¡®objective¡¯ out today and we¡¯re all going down the Frege rabbit hole. And I assure you, that is one German philosopher who writes philosophy like how people stereotypically think Germans think.¡±

    ¡°I think you¡¯re the only one who still has any stereotypes about nationalities. You¡¯re like the last bigot on earth in that way. The last bigot from Earth, rather.¡±

    ¡°Oh ho.¡± Sam chuckled evilly. ¡°Just you wait. With every passing day, I learn more information about the different people living today. And the different group categorization each person can be slotted into. Soon, I¡¯ll have gathered enough knowledge to return to my full power as a bigot. And then I¡¯ll have a stereotype ready made for every person I meet in my travels.¡±

 Chapter 79

    ¡°So, Ritter tells me that he¡¯s going to start teaching you applied tracing today¡­¡± Lin said after Sam finished his warm-up.

    Sam nodded, adopting an offensive stance and levying his spear against the very expensive practice dummy, which was Lin himself. Lin¡¯s statement, while an invitation for a follow-up from Sam, was not an invitation to stop the flow of their training, as Sam was well aware at this point. So he got in a few preliminary thrusts in, beginning to follow Lin¡¯s practice exercises for static offense that by now were already rote in both his mind and muscles, before simply saying, ¡°Yep.¡±

    Lin¡¯s raised eyebrow, as well as his more than usual heavy-handed parry, were a clear indicator that Sam could do better in both the exercise and providing an answer. ¡°That¡¯s all you have to say?¡±

    ¡°What else is there to say? In this room, at least? You¡¯re the one who keeps going on about the necessity of separating magic and combat until such a time when a person is proficient enough in both to combine the two.¡±

    ¡°That is fair, I suppose. And you have done an admirable job of separating between the two in our lessons together.¡±

    Sam snorted. ¡°What¡¯s so admirable about it? It¡¯s not like I have any meaningful magical knowledge that I can bring into the lessons with me. And it¡¯s not likely to change after today, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re worried about.¡±

    ¡°I am not worried about that, no. And I am well aware that even with your considerable rate of advancement that it will be some time before you could make use of any affecting tracings you¡¯ve learned as part of our lessons. Of course, I¡¯m not quite as optimistic as Ritter is concerning how much time it will actually take you to achieve that knowledge, but even if he¡¯s right, it has nothing to do with me. As long as I¡¯m not instructing you in magical combat, that is.¡±

    ¡°Surely you¡¯re not worried about his ability to teach me magic, then? Or is it my ability to learn it sufficiently well that worries you?¡±

    ¡°Nothing worries me, I assure you. I don¡¯t know how you came to the conclusion that your new studies are a source of concern for me. But since I am going to be teaching you about magical combat eventually, it is of interest to me how far you¡¯ve come in that department. Then again¡­¡± Lin chuckled, maneuvering Sam¡¯s slash in such a way that he was almost forced to drop the spear. ¡°I was simply trying to ask for your attitude towards this new stage in your magical career. My question had no ulterior motive, I assure you... Aside from further ingratiating myself upon you, of course, in the hope of reaping future rewards from your benefactor.¡± He smiled.

    Sam smiled back. It was a well-trodden joke at this point (which added to it a further meta-dimension, so far unremarked upon), and lacking any actual basis in reality. You would¡¯ve had to be the most socially incompetent person in the Web to think Lin¡¯s attitude towards Sam was an attempt to ingratiate himself upon him. ¡°Don¡¯t fault me, then, for thinking you had some other motive for that question. This is the first time you¡¯ve raised an interest in the magical side of my studies.¡±

    ¡°It is the first time that side has become relevant. Or close to relevant. I assure you, if you were level 1 and your studies in patterns encompassed more than just theory, I would¡¯ve been very interested in them as well.¡±

    ¡°If I were level 1, would we not also be training in magical combat, as well?¡±

    ¡°Not with how your skills in physical combat current stand.¡±

    ¡°You could afford to be more encouraging, you know?¡±

    ¡°I could be. But as long as I¡¯m sure that it won¡¯t affect you either way, I don¡¯t have any reason to. Besides, while you might still be far off from being proficient enough with physical combat, that doesn¡¯t mean that you shouldn¡¯t be proud of how far you¡¯ve come. That counts as encouragement, no?¡±

    Sam recovered from his, absorbed without complaint, thrust towards Lin¡¯s abdomen with a backwards sweep of the heel of the spear to the point of Lin¡¯s spear. ¡°I¡¯ve heard better. But don¡¯t worry, my combat skill is the one field for which I need the least amount of encouragement. Needing to know how to prevent a Brute from taking my head off somehow feels less dire and urgent than understanding set theory.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s a good attitude to have. You¡¯re still at least three years off from having your first chance at combat. All through that time you¡¯ll have plenty of opportunity to train, not to mention how much time and opportunities you¡¯ll have to perfect your combat skills during the rest of your life.¡±

    ¡°If I stay alive, that is.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what we¡¯re working so hard for, no?¡±

    Sam nodded and, following Lin¡¯s signal for a break, stopped his thrust midway before drinking some water. ¡°Speaking of working hard,¡± he said after he returned from his backpack, ¡°are you going to be able to work as hard next week?¡±

    ¡°Why won¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°From my understanding, all combat instructors are pretty much on deck for the tournament.¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately, you are correct, but most of the sparring matches are going to take place after breakfast. So only a few instructors are required to observe the matches which will fall during our usual training hours. Luckily, I was exempted from being entered into the lot of those few due to my association with you. So my thanks for that.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°Not a big fan of this facade of a tournament, then?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not a big fan of any tournament when it is undertaken by an educational establishment, period. I am also not a fan of being a judge. That¡¯s just a huge waste of my time.¡±

    ¡°Rather be teaching bumbling twenty-two-year-olds instead?¡±

    ¡°Teaching is what my job description requires of me, so yes. Judging people in a sparring competition is not. There is nothing to be gained for either me or my pupils by my being there. Not that the pupils have anything much to gain with or without me.¡±

    ¡°But surely if you¡¯re there, then you¡¯ll be able to educate them on what they did right and what they did wrong during the match. Helping them get better. After all, isn¡¯t sparring one of the main methods in which the academy conducts its combat classes?¡±

    ¡°It is. But sparring as part of class and as part of a tournament are two completely different experiences. The academy¡¯s attempt to present this ¡®tournament¡¯ as some sort of educational event is meant to combat that difference. But by the simple fact that people still call it a tournament, it falls off the mark.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯d be against me, for example, partaking in that tournament if I was good enough not to embarrass myself? Since you claim I have nothing to gain by joining?¡±

    ¡°Oh, you have plenty enough to gain. None of it important. A feeling of accomplishment, glory, social benefits, and so on. What you¡¯re not going to do, however, is learn anything. No one becomes a better fighter simply by competing in a onetime event.¡±

    At Lin¡¯s gesture, Sam resumed his stance and embarked on the same exercise from before. ¡°I¡¯m not sure that I agree with that. Granted, most of what I think about tournaments and competitions comes from, probably unsubstantiated, fiction, but still¡­ Just preparing in anticipation of the tournament surely makes you a better fighter, no? I mean, Felix has been training extra hard these last two weeks because of that.¡±

    Lin nodded. ¡°He has. He was in my class last Saturday. But that only proves my point. It is not the competition itself that brought any material improvement to his or anyone else¡¯s martial talents. But simply their training beforehand, training they intensified not in hope¡ªor at least rational hope¡ªof it helping them better utilize the tournament in order to become stronger, but simply in order to become stronger for the tournament; for the other inconsequential rewards I mentioned.¡±

    ¡°How does that not count in the tournament favor, then? If it provides a mental benefit to a person¡¯s will to train, either before or after, that¡¯s still some help, no?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m wiling to grant that as a benefit, yes. A competition can provide the push necessary for people to train harder. But, in an ideal world, such help would not be required, wouldn¡¯t you agree? Every person will be able to push themselves to the best of their abilities without needing a tournament to enclose a limited time period for them to do so. By your own logic, you, for example, would have nothing to gain by attending a tournament, as you¡¯re already stretched thin as it is with your training to the best of your abilities.¡±

    ¡°By my own logic maybe, but not by my own assumptions¡­¡± Sam mumbled beneath his breath. ¡°So in your opinion, there isn¡¯t any chance for a person to leave any sort of tournament a better fighter than they entered?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°What about the opportunity to fight other talented people? Learning from them? Pushing yourself in order to beat them?¡±

    ¡°Anything there is to be learned from fighting other people in a competition is much better learned in a different environment. In educational sessions where the both of you are actively trying to help the other person become a better fighter. It is simply ridiculous to expect that a competitive and stressful environment would be more conducive to bringing forth in a person an advancement that an open and relaxed environment won¡¯t. While it does happen that a person is able to push themselves, as you said, and grasp victory when they shouldn¡¯t have. Doing so will most likely not teach them how to be a better fighter overall.¡±

    ¡°What? Why not? If you¡¯ve got a¡­ I don¡¯t know, a sudden bolt of inspiration in the middle of the fight and figured out a better way to use your magic or something in order to help you win. How does that not make you a better fighter overall?¡±

    Lin raised an eyebrow and forced Sam to pivot his thrust into a slash by dodging out of the way. ¡°¡®A sudden bolt of inspiration?¡¯ Things don¡¯t work like that in real life.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t they?¡±

    ¡°At least not for low levels like you, or me, for that matter. You need to differentiate between a fight helping you reach a realization on how to become a better fighter and a fight, giving you some sort of epiphany that you can immediately utilize in order to win the fight. The latter doesn¡¯t happen for people like us who are well trained because we¡¯ve already brought to bear everything we can use during combat. Say you discover an ingenious new way to use one of your patterns, for example, making that change will require you to imprint it, which you obviously cannot do in the middle of combat. The former does happen, certainly, it¡¯s why sparring is our major avenue for training, but like I said, you will have a much easier time reaching that realization when you¡¯re fighting for the sake of bettering yourself, during training, than when you¡¯re fighting for the sake of winning a competition.¡±

    ¡°So breakthroughs aren¡¯t real? That¡¯s¡­ disappointing, I suppose.¡±

    ¡°Breakthroughs certainly are real, and they¡¯re a constant part of training. You¡¯ve had plenty of breakthroughs since we started our sessions. Breakthroughs during combat are also real. As you¡¯ll eventuality see when you start training with other people. But they are¡ªand I suppose I must disclaim this to be my opinion¡ªmuch rarer in competitive fights than practice fights. And in both, the only way for the breakthrough to help you win the fight is if you were wholly unprepared and woefully trained up to it. After all, realizing that you can trace to your patterns during a fight is a sort of breakthrough, no? But it¡¯s not one that you should ever be having. Of course, maybe things work differently for levels 9s and 10s, who are starting to play by different rules. As for Rulers? There certainly are enough stories and legends about Rulers becoming stronger mid-fight for me to think that the possibility for such an event is more realistic for them. But as it pertains to our topic, there has never been a tournament for Rulers¡­¡±Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    ¡°Still¡­ I¡¯m guessing your disdain towards the possibility of a competition helping a fighter better improve doesn¡¯t extend to actual combat, though?¡±

    Lin laughed. ¡°Of course not. The only major downside of lethal combat as a method of training is the lethal part of it. If I could hook you up to a machine which would¡¯ve made you think you were fighting for you life, I would¡¯ve been able to cover all the progress we made here in just a few days. There is no better training than fighting for your life.¡±

    ¡°I thought that a stress-free environment was the best for training.¡±

    ¡°Different kinds of stress. In a competition, you¡¯re fighting to win. In battle, you¡¯re fighting not to lose. There is a reason why we send even our most promising prospects like you to the front line while you are still relatively weak. You¡¯ll see this for yourself after your first real fight. You might not learn anything new or realize a way to improve your capabilities, you probably won¡¯t. But you¡¯ll surely leave your first encounter with death a better fighter. Of course, there is a balance to everything. Lethal combat might make you a better fighter more quickly than non-lethal practice, but to be the best fighter you could possibly be, you have to combine the two. That¡¯s, in short, the entire goal of this academy when it comes to training you as a fighter. Prop you up to a baseline of skill and power, which will, hopefully, be enough to guarantee your survival in active combat. Then, it is your future experience with combat, together with the methodology of how to keep training correctly and improving yourself as a fighter, that should deliver the best combatant version of you possible. Notice how tournaments do not have any role to play in that guideline.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­ I get your point. No tournaments for me then.¡±

    ¡°Not as long as I have something to say about that, no. Once you¡¯re ready to begin training with other people, you¡¯ll have no lack of people to spar with, this I can assure you.¡±

    ¡°When¡¯s that going to happen?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see¡­¡± Lin shrugged and stood up straight. ¡°Alright, take a short break and then we¡¯ll move on to footwork.¡±

    Sam nodded thankfully and after laying down the spear, shook his hands before massaging them and rolling his shoulders. His ability to withstand Lin¡¯s session greatly increased due to his fitness (and, dare he say it, his willpower to suffer through physical discomfort) improving in the passing weeks. But while the sessions¡¯ intensity hasn¡¯t correspondingly increased like Sarah¡¯s workouts did, they were still not a cup of tea (especially since he was constantly recovering from Sarah¡¯s workouts). So the number of breaks and the timing between each break remained roughly the same after his second week of training with Lin, with only the length of each break shortening somewhat. And he very much still needed those breaks because spearfighting was hard fucking work.

    Unfortunately, he was well aware that his new avenue of study wasn¡¯t going to be much help in that department any time soon. Which is why he was confused by Dan¡¯s proposed lesson plan for which group of affecting tracings they were going to focus on second.

    ¡°Wait,¡± he said while straightening in the armchair, ¡°I thought that recovery tracings were pretty much useless. Why are we rushing to learn them?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re far from useless.¡± Dan shook his head. ¡°It¡¯s just that compared to the patterns serving the same functions, they¡¯re not quite as effective. But with your inability to imprint, and with the amount of time we spend practicing tracing anyway, that makes recovery tracings a no-brainer for your first set of ¡®real¡¯ affecting tracings. And since recovery patterns are also going to be our first major focus when we start with imprinting, better acquainting yourself with the tracings as early as possible will be very helpful.¡±

    ¡°I thought the recovery patterns are intrinsically different from the tracings.¡±

    ¡°Intrinsically more complex, but the first few that you¡¯re going to be imprinting are pretty much solely modeled on the tracings. But since we¡¯ve yet to begin studying applied tracing even, perhaps discussing applied patterns ought to wait for another day?¡±

    Sam held up his hands. ¡°Alright, alright. Recovery tracings first¡ªerr, second¡­ third?¡±

    ¡°Fourth. First, we are going to be studying the different basic tracings that are required to in order to pass affecting magic from the pathways and into the body. Those are?¡±

    ¡°Physical foundational tracings,¡± Sam dutifully answered.

    ¡°And they are contrasted with?¡±

    ¡°Magical foundational tracings.¡±

    ¡°And what is the different between the two?¡±

    ¡°Physical foundational tracings are required for the affecting tracing to function on and in the physical medium, and magical foundational is the same for the magical medium. Which, according to you, means that as far as I¡¯m concerned right now, the former is for my body and the latter is for my pathways.¡±

    ¡°The magic in your pathways. You won¡¯t be able to study the required magical foundational tracings for interacting with your pathways until level 1.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ So I¡¯m assuming that foundational magical tracings is third subject we learn about?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Usually it comes second, but as we¡¯re prioritizing making active use of recovery tracings as soon as you¡¯re able, I¡¯m delaying it for a while in order for you to practice with an assortment of the most basic physically affecting tracings there are, the so called ¡®practice tracings.¡¯ Misnamed in my opinion because some of those tracings are the basis of more complex, very important affecting tracings. So we¡¯ll spend two to three weeks on those before moving on to magical foundational tracings. All in all, in about five to seven weeks, we should be able to start working on recovery tracings.¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t I need one of those practice affecting tracings for today, though? Otherwise, how will I know that I¡¯m doing the physical foundational tracings correctly?¡±

    ¡°Good question. By themselves, foundational tracings, be they physical or magical, carry no effects. So how can we know if we traced them correctly?¡±

    ¡°¡­By doing what I just said?¡±

    Dan smiled and paused for dramatic effects while taking a long sip of his tea. ¡°Wrong answer, I¡¯m afraid. But, I¡¯ll give you a hint. You already know and practiced one type of physical foundational tracing.¡±

    ¡°I only know the one tracing though¡­ Are you saying that the tracing for moving magic into my body is a foundational tracing?¡±

    ¡°Of course. And it is the most basic kind. The one that does not allow room for any affecting tracing to take place corresponding to it.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯ll know if my physical foundational tracings are correct if the magical energy ends up flowing into my body. But how does that work for the magical?¡±

    ¡°Even simpler. Think about it. What happens when you just trace energy inside your pathways into itself?¡±

    ¡°Well, nothing. It simply combines if it has enough space.¡±

    ¡°And what happens to it if you simply trace magic from one point to another through your pathways?¡±

    ¡°Nothing as well.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. So, if you¡¯ve carried out a magical foundational tracing correctly, either away from the rest of your magical energy or surrounded by it, that would mean that some of the energy has to disappear, no? Otherwise there would¡¯ve been no foundational effect from the tracing and the energy should¡¯ve just continued as it has beforehand.¡±

    Sam nodded in understanding. ¡°And that method doesn¡¯t work with physical foundational tracings because by attempting to bridge my pathways and my body, I am inserting resistance into the picture, so even if the tracing failed, more magic would¡¯ve been lost than by simple dissipation.¡±

    ¡°Very good.¡± Dan smiled. ¡°It all comes back to the fact that you don¡¯t actually know only the one tracing. The first third of the foundational tracing we¡¯ve been practicing all these weeks is a tracing all on its own, and it is the basis for all but one of the physical foundational tracings out there. The tracing as a whole moves magic from your pathway into the body, but the first third is what opens the connection between your body and your pathway. It¡¯s pretty much the most important tracing in existence. And since you are well familiar with it at this point, we are thus exempt from the very first subject most people have to learn about in applied tracing. The second subject as well, since we have been working tirelessly on the Nonaffecting Physical Foundational. Which leaves us with only two subjects to study on the topic of physical foundational tracings for now.¡±

    ¡°Now today, or now the general future?¡±

    ¡°Now being this next half a year while you¡¯re still not level 1 and thus don¡¯t have any reason to learn the fourth type. But for the more meditate future, what we¡¯ll be focusing on for, probably, the next two weeks, are Prior Physical Foundational and Posterior Physical Foundational. We¡¯ll be starting with the latter, because the tracing itself is simpler. Its usage together with affecting tracings is what makes it more complex than its counterpart, but since we¡¯re not going to be starting on affecting tracings today, that won¡¯t matter to us.¡±

    ¡°And are those the same two types for magical foundational tracings?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. Although the tracings¡¯ configuration themselves will be quite different from their physical counterparts. And at this point, I think that I can finally explain to you the main difference between sculpting and imprinting as well, if you forgive me the spoilers.¡±

    ¡°I certainly will.¡± Sam motioned him to continue.

    Dan nodded with an understanding smile. ¡°It¡¯s quite simple, really. Sculpting is done through a type of pathway affecting tracings that require a prior foundational. The same holds for imprinting only that it requires a posterior foundational. Now, those two foundational tracing are not at all similar to the Prior and Posterior Magical Foundational tracings that we¡¯re going to be studying in a couple of weeks, since they have to do with affecting the pathway itself, and, as I said, you can only being tracing them after you¡¯re level 1. And yes, before you ask, the official name for these two foundational tracings is Foundational Sculpting and Foundational Imprinting.

    ¡°So, while the study of both sculpting and imprinting begins with learning those two types of foundational tracings, it mostly consists of learning and practicing the different affecting magical tracings each field has to offer. All in all, those four types of magical foundational tracings, together with the four types of physical foundational tracings, are all the foundational tracings that you will study here in the academy. They have some addons and variations, which you will learn in due time once you are talented enough, but they only have to do with making the affecting tracing more time and energy efficient. The foundational tracing themselves will remain the same, both conceptually and mechanically.¡±

    ¡°So, what¡¯s the fourth type of physical foundational tracing?¡± Sam asked. ¡°If we¡¯re already going full spoilers?¡±

    ¡°Post Patterns Foundational. Conceptually, it is the same as Posterior Physical Foundational, but there are some major usage and technical differences which we will cover once there¡¯s need for it.¡±

    ¡°And are those the only types of foundational tracings there are? Or just those that the academy is going to teach us?¡±

    Dan smiled. ¡°There are two more. But they are way above your pay grade.¡±

    ¡°Tell me anyway?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ Only if you promise not to think about the ramifications of them too deeply. Look and forget as it were.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ this knowledge is a short google search away for a change, so I suppose you trying is good enough for me.¡± Dan laughed. ¡°So there is one more physical foundational tracing and one more magical. Both of them are prior to affecting tracing, although they do not build on or resemble the other three prior foundational tracings at all. The physical tracing is the foundation for an affecting tracing that¡¯s traced in a purely physical medium. And the magical tracing is the foundation for a tracing that affects the core.¡±

    Sam stared at him, dumbstruck. ¡°How is that possible? It goes against everything we¡¯ve been studying about magic.¡±

    ¡°Well, we¡¯ve been studying about how magic works at the lower levels. Things are different once you reach higher. But remember, you promised no questions.¡±

    Sam tsked and grit his teeth. ¡°Does that mean that none of the cadets here know why that stuff makes sense as well?¡±

    ¡°Oh, no. They should understand the theory at the end of their studies.¡±

    ¡°Care to tell me that theory?¡±

    Dan laughed. ¡°Nope. That¡¯s third year material. Google it at your own peril.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Sam grumbled. ¡°Fine, whatever. Let¡¯s start, shall we? I¡¯ve wasted enough time as it is.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve wasted no time, I assure you. I¡¯ve told you this many times before, but your tendency to ask questions, even if you think it harmful to your studies by diverting us off track, is something that should be encouraged, not criticized. Besides, even if there is some fault to be found with that behavior of yours on occasion, today¡¯s lesson was the farthest our lessons can be from such an occasion. But if you have no more questions, then I¡¯m happy to start.¡±

    ¡°No more questions, no. For now.¡±

    ¡°Excellent. So let¡¯s start with the theory and mechanics behind Posterior Physical Foundational. If all goes well, we¡¯ll be able to begin practicing it sometime after lunch. And if all goes really well, we might have time for a lesson in patterns. Either way, we¡¯ll be relegating magical theory to just Fridays, for now. Which means that you should also downgrade studying it on your own to just two or three sessions a week. In the meantime, you¡¯ll have plenty of other homework to make up for all that free time. But, I¡¯ve wandered off,¡± Dan apologized and rubbed his nose, before bringing out a textbook from his storage artifact and moving to sit next to Sam. ¡°Chapter three covers our topic for today, so let¡¯s begin, shall we?¡±

    Sam nodded as Dan turned the pages over. With the only introductory textbook (re, highschool level that no one else at the academy had any use for) that didn¡¯t have an accompanying exercises textbook back in play, Sam was well on his way to catching up to the level of knowledge the academy required of all its applicants. Actual level, skills for making use of that knowledge, and the many other miscellaneous requirements, surely soon to follow.

    In the end, things went really well, so they did have enough time to squeeze in a patterns lesson for the last part of the day. Sam¡¯s tracing laden schedule, encompassing on average three to four hours a day, six days a week for the last month or so, made the practical part of the lesson on Posterior Physical Foundational much easier than the theoretical part preceding it. Not that the theoretical part was all that hard, as at this point, Sam was much more knowledgeable about both tracing and magical theory than most people were when it was time for them to learn about foundational tracings. It would most likely still take him until next week for Dan to decide he was proficient enough in practice and knowledgeable enough in theory for them to move on to the prior physical tracing, but for a first day¡¯s effort, Sam was more than pleased.

    He was much less pleased a couple of minutes later, when a thought suddenly occurred to him as he was walking to dinner. Today¡¯s efforts were good and all, and the knowledge and understanding he gained were paramount in importance and very welcome. But what he hadn¡¯t done today was actual real magic, like he was looking forward to doing exactly a week ago. ¡°Learning to do magic shouldn¡¯t be this slow,¡± he muttered. ¡°This is bullshit. I¡¯d like to add to the Epicurean paradox a line about no benevolent god making a magical setting this slow and boring.¡±

 Chapter 80

    Unfortunately, he wasn¡¯t able to shake the last vestiges of his displeasure with the day¡¯s lack of progress on the doing real magic front by the time he sat down next to Yvessa at dinner, late as usual. ¡°Where¡¯s Felix?¡± he asked, gesturing to the filled plate and empty sit opposite him.

    ¡°Bathroom,¡± Sarah answered.

    ¡°Hm¡­ took him long enough. So what were you talking about before I rudely interrupted?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t interrupt anything.¡±

    ¡°Not right now, maybe. But I saw you talking about something just a few seconds ago, and you stopped talking shortly after spotting me.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to make some sort of joke about how just your visual presence is a rude interruption or something?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t put it quite as unfunny as that, but sure, something like that, definitely. So, what were you talking about? Or is that secret cadets¡¯ stuff that I¡¯m not allowed to know about yet?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t think so,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°but maybe Sarah would disagree¡­¡±

    Sarah pursed her lips and squinted her eyes, as though the accusation were completely unjustified. ¡°Yvessa was just asking me about body nourishment patterns. She was thinking of replacing some of hers.¡±

    ¡°I was wondering whether I might be better off doing away with my patterns that help with muscle nourishment, as I might not need any help in that department due to how much I exercise daily.¡±

    ¡°For what it¡¯s worth,¡± Sam said, ¡°I recall Farris saying something about the patterns being unnecessary for me. But I don¡¯t remember if he was just talking about the muscle nourishment, or in general. Also, if he was talking about me as I am now, at level 1, or whatever¡­ Sorry I couldn¡¯t be of any more help.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s alright. I¡¯m just at the thinking stages right now. One of my combat instructors mentioned it being unnecessary for most cadets with how much we work out and that got me wondering for myself.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m assuming it wasn¡¯t the one instructor we don¡¯t like?¡±

    ¡°No. It was an instructor for magical combat.¡±

    ¡°What did you suggest?¡± Sam asked Sarah.

    ¡°I told her that the relative gain there is to be had from having a more optimized set of nourishment patterns isn¡¯t that great. And it¡¯s not worth the hassle and worry that comes along with having to make sure that you¡¯re always working out enough. Especially since once we graduate, our ability to exercise as much as we¡¯d like is going to be much more limited.¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯m assuming you¡¯re still running on roughly the same set of patterns that Yvessa has? Despite the fact that you exercise way more than her?¡±

    ¡°Yep. I¡¯ve just finished imprinting a level 3 version of one of my two nourishment patterns that helps with muscle reinforcement.¡±

    ¡°But you still imprinted that one last¡­¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Out of only three I needed to re-imprint. And it¡¯s not like I disagree with the notion that our muscles need the least amount of help from nourishment patterns. That¡¯s a known fact. I simply think that there isn¡¯t a lot to be gained by doing away with muscle nourishing patterns completely. Especially since you will have a much greater need for them in the future, so it¡¯s best to keep yourself familiarized with imprinting them.¡±

    Yvessa turned over her hand, conceding to Sarah¡¯s point. ¡°I agree with you in principle. But I¡¯ll be remiss not to ask Dan about that subject. Do it for me tomorrow, please, Sam?¡±

    ¡°Sure thing.¡± He nodded. ¡°But if you don¡¯t mind me asking, what actually is there to be gained from switching up your nourishment patterns? Up till now, I assumed that you build the set of them to always nourish as much of your body as possible on any given day. So how could your nourishment be any better?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s true. Optimizing my nourishment patterns isn¡¯t supposed to help me better my nourishment. That is already built to be practically maxed out. As evident by the fact that for the day to day, nourishment patterns are the most basic sustained patterns, preceding even passive gathering in importance for keeping active. But, by getting rid of two of my nourishment patterns and replacing them with one that¡¯s much more efficient but doesn¡¯t help with the muscles at all, I can gain back some patterns capacity for use someplace else. I haven¡¯t done the math just yet, but I¡¯m thinking that I¡¯ll be able to add in one more minor recovery pattern, and more importantly, a passive sculpting pattern.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Sam moaned. ¡°Of course those are a thing.¡±

    ¡°There are also conscious patterns that help with active sculpting. And active imprinting. Although the active part is redundant for the latter.¡± She smiled mischievously.

    He pointed at Yvessa with his left hand while holding out his right one to inform the responsible adult at the table of her breach of etiquette. ¡°Ms. Saaarah¡­ She told me stuff I¡¯m not supposed to know yet.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll let it slide this time.¡± Sarah smiled. ¡°It¡¯s relatively minor information and totally harmless.¡±

    ¡°What is?¡± Felix asked as he sat down.

    ¡°Yvessa spoiled me on three kinds of patterns I didn¡¯t know existed,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°Oh¡­ This because she wants to switch up her nourishment patterns and get a second passive sculpting one instead? Yeah, that sounds like too much of a headache to me.¡±

    Sam nodded and pointed at Felix with his thumb while turning to Yvessa. ¡°See, now that¡¯s a good friend you have there. He wasn¡¯t here for the entirety of our conversation and yet he knew just what you were thinking about so that he could jump straight in.¡±

    ¡°He left for the bathroom just before you got here¡­¡± Yvessa rolled her eyes. ¡°He was here for most of the same conversation that we just had.¡±

    ¡°Well, this just goes to show what happens when I try to act out of character and be gracious to my friends. Let this be a lesson to us all.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of lessons,¡± Felix said, ¡°how was yours? Pretty big day today, no?¡±

    Sam gave him a middle finger. ¡°Stop trying to play both teams, asshole. Pick a lane. But yes, very big day. Learned a lot of stuff. Some actual spoilers to contrast with Yvessa¡¯s middling attempt. Very fruitful day, etcetera, etcetera. You know what I haven¡¯t learned today, though? Actual magic!¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°I thought Dan was starting you today on foundational tracings.¡±

    ¡°He did, and we covered all ten types of those. Then we started going over Posterior Physical Foundational. I even managed to succeed in about a fifth of every attempt (in the very last part of the lesson). But that¡¯s not real magic! That¡¯s just the preamble to doing real magic, the prelude, the required preceding substance, the¡ª¡±

    ¡°We get it.¡±

    Sam upturned his palms in dismay. ¡°But not any effect having magic. Stuff that you can point to and say, ¡®Hey! That shouldn¡¯t happen in real life. That¡¯s gotta be magic.¡¯ And I was really looking forward to looking myself in the mirror and saying that.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Complaining about needing to learn foundational tracings before moving on to affecting tracings is like complaining about needing to learn how to load a gun before learning how to shoot.¡±

    ¡°So? I¡¯m sure rich enough people can go to gun ranges where someone does it for them and all they need to do is aim and pull the trigger. Also, we don¡¯t train with guns here. Use another analogy. Like crying about needing to hold a sword handle in order to swing it.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the big deal?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°You¡¯ll just have to finish Posterior and Prior Magical and Prior Physical before moving on to the practice tracings. By the rate you¡¯re progressing, it¡¯s not going to take you more than a couple of weeks.¡±

    ¡°Actually, we¡¯re doing the practice tracings before the magical foundational, so even less than that. But that¡¯s not the point! The point is that I wanted to be able to do real magic today and I¡¯m still not able to. And that sucks. Am I not allowed to develop my own expectations for how reality should behave in this strange magical world I found myself in?¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°Do you really care about that?¡±

    ¡°Of course I do! Just not enough to affect my actions and behavior. Probably. One can never be too certain when it comes to one¡¯s self, especially when the one in question is the one and only, yours truly. Also, do you¡ª¡±

    ¡°Why is Dan having you learning practice tracings before magical foundational?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Because he wants to rush me to start on recovery tracings as soon as possible. So he figured that having some extra time in which I can train with some affecting tracings before that will be very helpful.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that makes sense. Hopefully, you¡¯ll be able to pick it up fast and we can start making active use of them.¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes at her seemingly innocent remark. Surely she wasn¡¯t planning any further increase in exercise difficulty before his start on recovery tracing? Especially with one starting next week. He shuddered and tried turning his mind to other, less scary prospects. ¡°Anyway, do you guys know how those last two foundational tracings work?¡±

    ¡°You mean the out of pathways physical one and the core magical one?¡± Felix asked. Sam nodded. ¡°Nah. That¡¯s third year material. And that¡¯s just the theory. Executing them is high-level stuff.¡±

    ¡°How high level?¡±

    Felix shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Level 8, I think.¡±If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

    ¡°Level 8 is for the core foundational tracing,¡± Sarah said. ¡°For the purely physical, I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Level 8?¡± Sam asked. ¡°You don¡¯t think it has anything to do with the level 9 and 10 patterns?¡±

    ¡°Maybe not with the patterns, but it definitely has to do with what happens to your core around that time.¡±

    Sam chuckled while shaking his head, alternating pitying looks at the two other first years at the table. ¡°Man¡­ with every passing day, with every new nugget of wisdom and piece of knowledge I obtain, it just gets more ridiculous that you guys didn¡¯t know about what happens after level 8. That¡¯s the kind of unrealistic stuff that can only happen in real life.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t take your frustrations of being unable to do any real magic out on me, mate.¡± Felix wagged his finger at him.

    ¡°Is that what I was doing?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°You were just trying to make fun of us because you¡¯re a bad friend.¡±

    ¡°Bad person, surely?¡±

    ¡°Nah.¡± Felix shook his head. ¡°If you were a bad person but a good friend, then you wouldn¡¯t be making fun of your friends anyway.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s say I agree¡­ but if I were a good person but a bad friend, then I wouldn¡¯t be making fun of anyone at all, friend or not.¡±

    ¡°I guess you¡¯re both right then. You are a bad person and a bad friend.¡±

    ¡°I can roll with that.¡±

    ¡°Can the both of you eat a little faster so we can roll out of here?¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°I most certainly can. Felix?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, alright.¡±

    Yvessa then used the opportunity of Sam and Felix being less disposed to intervene in the conversation, to reengage Sarah in a conversation topic of her choice. The overly womanly topic of which combat healing course is the best out of those available for the next trimester.

    ¡°It really depends on whether you¡¯re willing to take the two specialized courses,¡± Sarah said. ¡°If you want to truly cover all of your bases, then you need to take both. Healing patterns are very different from tracings, so you can¡¯t make do with just the knowledge of the latter if you want to imprint a pattern. And tracing for healing also has its nuances and techniques that you¡¯ll need to spend time practicing with. From my understanding, the general course teaches roughly half of what the patterns course teaches and two-thirds of the tracing course. With a lot less time to practice. So if you don¡¯t have time for both courses, the general one is definitely the only correct choice. But, if you want to take both courses, then if I were you, I¡¯d take them at the same trimester.¡±

    ¡°Tsk. I¡¯m not sure I have the time for two more elective next trimester.¡±

    ¡°Not to mention having that time slot open,¡± Felix put in.

    ¡°That¡¯s also true.¡± Yvessa frowned before turning back to Sarah. ¡°Maurice teaches only the general course, right?¡±

    ¡°Yep. The rest of his courses are way more advanced than just basic self-healing. But I wouldn¡¯t advise you to take his course. Not if you¡¯re just interested in it for the combat utilization. He likes to¡­ veer off topic. Proselytize about healing magic in general, if you get my drift.¡±

    ¡°And the other teacher?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re pretty good, from what I understand. Same goes for the two that teach both of the specialized courses. And I¡¯ll also advise you to study with the same one, if you¡¯re going that route. Time constraint notwithstanding.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I¡¯ll have to check my schedule. Dammit. I was really hoping for a clear-cut answer.¡±

    Sam chuckled. ¡°Welcome to the wild jungle that is making your own university schedule. It¡¯s awful. I at least hope that the overall quality of education here is good enough so that there aren¡¯t any real awful lecturers who you don¡¯t get anything out of studying under besides a headache when you have to write a shitty essay for their shitty self.¡±

    ¡°I keep forgetting that you¡¯ve studied at university,¡± Felix said. ¡°You don¡¯t complain about it all that much.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Relative to all your other complaints, I meant.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t you ask Dan to help you with this kind of stuff?¡± Sam asked Yvessa. ¡°That is what he¡¯s here for.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure that if you weren¡¯t here, then he wouldn¡¯t have had a reason for being here right now. But, fair enough, if he¡¯s already here and doing his job, I might as well avail myself of his help.¡±

    ¡°Then remind me tomorrow to ask that of him as well, just in case I¡¯ll forget.¡±

    ¡°No need. I¡¯ll just send him an email for both questions. Better use of all of our time.¡±

    ¡°If you say so. And speaking of a better use of our time¡­ let¡¯s go?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m literally on the last bite, mate,¡± Felix huffed.

    ¡°Oh, my apologies, then by all means, do finish.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do it with all of you staring at me.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re one of those people who can¡¯t eat while other people are looking at them?¡±

    ¡°I think most people would be uncomfortable being the sole object of attention at the table while trying to eat.¡±

    Yvessa sighed. ¡°Just go already!¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± Felix took the bite with a frown, keeping it all the way until they were outside when he asked Sam, ¡°So how are your spear lessons going?¡±

    ¡°Seriously, Felix, you can¡¯t keep asking me questions and then complain that our conversations are Sam centric. If you¡¯re against something, then you have to stand against it. You can¡¯t keep promoting it with your actions.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s your idealism speaking. Your naive and optimistic view of the world and how it should be. But I, as a practical and realistic person, can recognize the state of our social fabric for what it truly is. Which leads me to the understanding that we¡¯ll never be able to do away with most of the time we spend talking about you. However, what I can do, is choose to better allocate that time. Promoting the conversation to circle around you when it is most convenient for me in order for us to be able to get it out of the way.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a nice rationale. Pretty convincing. Just one question, though.¡± He turned to regard Yvessa and Sarah. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to bring up my spear lessons right now, probably not for the rest of the day as well. Were any of you?¡±

    Yvessa shook her head. ¡°No,¡± Sarah said. ¡°We¡¯ve already talked about it.¡±

    ¡°We did?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. During breakfast. Before Felix and Yvessa joined us. I asked how your morning went and then you tried to making a joke about being forbidden by Lin from participating in the tournament because he¡¯s still mad about the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan.¡±

    Sam chuckled. ¡°Oh, right. Yeah¡­ that wasn¡¯t a very good one. I¡¯m glad you guys didn¡¯t have to hear it.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s this about Lin forbidding you from participating?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m not sure if he¡¯s really forbidden me, speaking of the end-of-year tournament, of course. But he¡¯s certainly worked hard on trying to convince me that I don¡¯t have anything to gain by participating. And then something about not rewarding a revisionist state actor with the legitimacy that an international competition brings. That was a 1936 joke¡­ Also wasn¡¯t all that great, I apologize.¡±

    ¡°Why won¡¯t you gain anything by participating? How the hell does that make sense?¡±

    Sam told them. ¡°All in all, his words do make sense. But I honestly don¡¯t care either way, all that much. I¡¯ll probably just end up doing whatever Dan, or Farris, I guess, tell me to do.¡±

    ¡°Not that there are all that many other tournaments available to you,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Just the end of this year and year three. And I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll be able to get out of the latter one.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s probably true. And I certainly don¡¯t want to avoid participating in that one. If I can¡¯t hold my own in two and a half years, enough to make a respectable showing of myself, then I shouldn¡¯t be graduating.¡±

    ¡°Well said!¡± Felix clapped him on the back. ¡°We¡¯ll show Lin the error of his ways. Competition brings the best in all of us. Matter of fact, I¡¯m thinking of helping you train so that you¡¯ll be able to join the end of the year competition as well, no matter what Lin says. You¡¯ll see what an explosive growth you¡¯ll experience after competing with other people.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ Lin was way more convincing in his arguments. So if it comes down to you or him, I¡¯m going to leave the choice of whether to participate in his hands. Also, there¡¯s no way that I¡¯m going to be good enough to win the tournament in half a year and if there¡¯s no chance that I¡¯m going to win, what the hell am I even participating for?¡±

    Yvessa raised an eyebrow. ¡°You think there¡¯s a chance that you¡¯ll win in two and a half years?¡±

    ¡°Sure. It¡¯s further away, so it¡¯s easier to be delusional about it. It¡¯s kind of like my delusion that if I work out really hard this week, next week¡¯s jump in difficulty wouldn¡¯t feel all that hard.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure it won¡¯t.¡± Sarah smiled reassuringly, and in a way that told Sam all he needed to know.

    It didn¡¯t stop from working out really hard this time, but it certainly made the prospect of keeping it up for the rest of the week seem less likely. Those recovery tracings couldn¡¯t come into play fast enough. Sam only wished that he could practice some tracing in his free time to help speed that up. So he had a think about that while on the way back to his room, stupidly keeping it to himself and not engaging Sarah in the dilemma. He carried the think all the way through his shower and managed to put it on hold long enough to finish the small part of his studying time dedicated to some patterns homework. But then he had to recalibrate in preparation of moving on to statistics and so his thoughts on the subject resurfaced once again, and in greater intensity, enough for him to decide to do something about them.

    So he called up Dan. Should¡¯ve sent him a message first, but oh well.

    ¡°Everything all right, Sam?¡± Dan answered after two rings.

    ¡°Yeah, sorry about the hour. Did I interrupt you in the middle of something? Sorry about that again.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I was just in the middle of some light reading. How can I help?¡±

    ¡°Well, I was just wondering¡­ Seeing as how we want to rush recovery tracings, right? And how there¡¯s no need for me to keep my core filled except for when cultivating¡­ So wouldn¡¯t it make sense for me to practice tracing after I finish my cultivation for the day? There isn¡¯t any danger in me practicing what we went over today, is there?¡±

    ¡°No, the only danger is that your time will be wasted somewhat. And that it will wear you out, of course. Were you planning to practice after your extended cultivating practice or instead of it?¡±

    ¡°Instead. So, on average, this will actually get me some free time back. Making everyone happy.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ Alright, go ahead. But don¡¯t do it on nights where you¡¯re going to be cultivating the following day before meeting me. So that¡¯s Fridays and Saturdays. At least as long as you didn¡¯t deviate from that part of the schedule as well. I¡¯ll send you a link to a PDF of the textbook so that you¡¯ll be able to use it if you need it. Make sure not to read any chapter that we haven¡¯t gone over yet.¡±

    ¡°Of course. Thank you! Sorry again for calling you so late.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s alright. It¡¯s what I¡¯m here for. Take notes on how it was to practice today so we can go over them tomorrow. Goodnight.¡±

    ¡°Goodnight.¡± Sam disconnected the call. Releasing a breath and adopting a self-satisfied smile, he marshaled his resolve and mental focus in order to square off with a subject that, while he didn¡¯t hate quite as much as math, he was probably way less proficient in. With the call to Dan taking a couple of minutes of his study time, it was no wonder that he was almost twenty minutes into his cultivation time before he finished the day¡¯s material. He opted to move up the alarm for only those twenty minutes and not include the extra two that he took in order to go to the bathroom and drink some water. Still, a level zero didn¡¯t have much magic to trace with, so it ran out pretty quickly, and without Dan there to refill him back up, that meant that he finished his training for the day with, if you rounded up, an hour to spare. Well¡­ it would¡¯ve meant that, if Sam hadn¡¯t gone back to reread some of the textbook after he finished practicing his tracing. As it was, Sam¡¯s first foray into independent tracing practice was mostly an abject failure when compared to the abilities he displayed while under Dan¡¯s watch, but he still considered it a very good use of his time.

    He was incredibly satisfied with his new plan, particularity with the fact that he envisioned it, formulated it, and implemented it all in the same evening. And he made it pretty clear to Sarah when he met up with her the following morning.

    ¡°So, what you¡¯re happy about is that you finally found a legitimate excuse to reach into what was supposed to be an untouchable hour and a half of free time?¡± she asked him with undisguised weariness.

    ¡°That¡¯s not it at all. Besides, I don¡¯t think an excuse can be legitimate. Forget about the bit with the free time, don¡¯t focus on that. Focus on the part where I had an original idea on how to better train, and that I managed to make it a reality on such short notice. That¡¯s the part I¡¯m happy about. This actually feels like taking some measure of control of my life back.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you¡¯re happy, then I¡¯m happy. About that, at least. I¡¯m still not happy about how much little time you have in the day for relaxation. Just don¡¯t try and make up your lost cultivation time on Saturday, alright?¡±

    Sam held up his hands. ¡°I won¡¯t, promise. Say¡­ does cultivation count as work for the purpose of religion and whatnot?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s actually a lot of theological debate about it. And the usage of patterns. But pretty much every religious interpretation that disallowed the active usage of magic on a holiday has made an exception for people in the military and in vital industries¡­ and people under eighteen.¡±

    ¡°Ah. Until that last part, I would¡¯ve given it the benefit of the doubt. But with it, I imagine the government had something to do with that decision.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Probably. Never looked too deeply into the topic. You can ask the chaplains at the religious hall if you¡¯re interested. Come to think of it, you¡¯ve never been there yet, right?¡±

    ¡°Nope. And I¡¯m not going to. I like my religious buildings to pick a side.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a shame. It¡¯s a beautiful building. Inside and out.¡±

    ¡°I got enough of beautiful exterior and interior to see right here,¡± Sam said and, after a moment¡¯s hesitation, looking up and down and left and right, pointed at her.

    ¡°Were you thinking of pointing at yourself?¡±

    ¡°No. At the gym. But that¡¯s almost as ludicrous as calling me pretty.¡±

 Chapter 81

    ¡°Alright,¡± Sam said while rubbing his hands once Felix and Yvessa joined them for breakfast, ¡°big week, big week. Are you excited?¡±

    ¡°The second round of the tournament doesn¡¯t start until Tuesday¡­¡± Felix said.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t talking about that! I was talking to Yvessa about her scheduled call tomorrow. I don¡¯t know if you guys know this or not, but she promised to tell her best friend some juicy gossip about yours truly.¡±

    ¡°Please tell me Sam is the only one who¡¯s making an occasion out of that.¡± Felix turned to Yvessa.

    She nodded. ¡°I just asked him for permission to tell Erianna a little about him, same thing as I did with you guys¡ª¡±

    ¡°Still really weird that you asked that, but go on.¡±

    She frowned at Felix. ¡°That¡¯s it. Neither I nor Erianna are interested in gossiping about you guys behind your back.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Sam asked. ¡°We gossip about her all the time. Does she know that? That she ranks in the top ten most mentioned people who we don¡¯t see every day?¡±

    ¡°I hadn¡¯t mentioned it to her¡­¡±

    ¡°Seems like a wasted opportunity to give her a bad impression of us without even needing to meet us.¡±

    ¡°I think that if she doesn¡¯t have a bad impression of you by the time she eventually meets you, then Yvessa has done a bad job telling her about you,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Hm¡­ Very true. Or her uncle. Which reminds me, he sent me a message yesterday, well today, technically, with an appointment for Saturday. So it seems like Yvessa isn¡¯t the only one who¡¯s going to be speaking to royalty back on Maynil this week. He did tell me to come alone this time, so I¡¯m afraid we can¡¯t isolate Felix and make fun of him for being the only one who isn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°What? You were going to pick Sarah over me? Not even leave it to a coin toss?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Also, I want to make this clear that this was a joke, yeah? I wasn¡¯t really going to bring anyone with me to the call unless they or Farris wanted me to. But if I had to choose, I would¡¯ve definitely picked Sarah over you.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t I get a say in the matter?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Sure. But we all know what you were going to say. I also know what you are going to ask, and yes, the appointment does technically take place during my free time on Saturday. And no, I haven¡¯t made plans to adjust the schedule for that. It¡¯s more of a social interaction than a pedagogic one, so it should be counted as leisure rather than work.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to ask anything. You¡¯re just arguing against yourself at this point. Just remember that if Felix or Yvessa win on Friday that we¡¯re going to have a celebration for them on Saturday. So plan accordingly.¡±

    ¡°Oh right, I forgot about that. What was your guys¡¯ rationale for having it in the case¡ªmost likely according to you¡ªthat you have to fight each other for the number one spot?¡±

    ¡°That if I win,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°Felix will have to clean his room and we¡¯ll have the celebration in his place. And that if he wins, we¡¯ll celebrate in mine.¡±

    ¡°Right¡­ yeah¡­ that¡¯s not a rationale. That¡¯s just the two possible circumstances of how the illogical event will take place. You realize that in order to have the celebration in the scenario you¡¯ve just described, one of you is going to have to feel bad for at least two different reasons? How is that conductive for celebrating in happiness and joy?¡±

    ¡°The joy I get from winning and beating Yvessa and then getting to make a mess in her room will more than make up for the pain that she suffers in comparison,¡± Felix said. ¡°Also, the real cause for celebration is beating everyone else and getting first and second place.¡±

    ¡°What happens if you don¡¯t end up first and second place?¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯ll be up to Yvessa, I guess. Whether she¡¯s still willing to celebrate despite not making it to the last match. I¡¯d be all in, of course, as is my due as a champion.¡±

    ¡°OK¡­ You¡¯ve convinced me. I¡¯m cheering for Yvessa to win.¡± He turned to her with a solemn face. ¡°I¡¯ll dedicate you a whole minute of silent contemplation during lunch on Friday¡­ If I remember. And if I¡¯m not too busy thinking about the stuff from the lesson or doing something else.¡±

    ¡°Like practicing your tracing?¡± Sarah asked in an accusing tone.

    ¡°Hey, I only did it while waiting for you!¡±

    ¡°I was like one minute behind you.¡±

    ¡°And it was one minute that I wanted to put to good use. I wasn¡¯t going to start eating before you. That¡¯s rude.¡±

    ¡°More rude than ignoring me because you were focused on tracing?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t ignoring you because I was focused on tracing. I was ignoring you because I just finishing the tracing and wanted to find out if I succeeded.¡±

    ¡°Did you?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Nope,¡± Sarah answered.

    ¡°Did I find out, or did I succeed?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be glib,¡± Sarah chastised him.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t succeed no. And I¡¯m willing to blame my general skill rather than the momentary lapse in concentration. But, I¡¯m sure that you¡¯ll all be glad to know that I¡¯m definitely getting better. Both in general skill and in my ability to trace Posterior Physical. In fact, I¡¯ll probably start Prior Physical tomorrow or on Tuesday. Now that¡¯s good progress.¡±

    ¡°It is.¡± Sarah nodded. ¡°And you should be proud about it. But please, try to avoid practicing while we¡¯re together, alright? You need to rest throughout the day in order to cleanse your mind, otherwise, your overall performance will be hurt. You can¡¯t always be training every waking moment without losing efficiency. Besides, it¡¯s really rude.¡±

    ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll keep it to a minimum. I¡¯ll only practice when the wait is guaranteed to be long¡ªmore than five minutes.¡±

    ¡°And we thank you for that great sacrifice.¡± Felix mocked bowed from across the table. ¡°Now if you¡¯ll excuse me, I need to capitalize on the one-on-one time you¡¯ve arranged for me yesterday, so I¡¯m heading there early. See you guys.¡±

    ¡°Wow¡­¡± Sam said once he was gone. ¡°I think this is the first time that Felix was the first to finish eating.¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°It definitely is. I knew something was wrong when he finished picking breakfast before me. So what¡¯s this one-on-one time you¡¯ve arranged for him?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s really nothing. A half-hour session with Lin before your classes start. He asked me to ask Lin about that on Friday evening. I¡¯m guessing he thought that Lin would be more receptive to giving a positive answer if the question came from me.¡±

    ¡°Seems like he was right.¡±

    ¡°Meh¡­ I don¡¯t know. I think Lin would¡¯ve agreed to help him even without me being in the picture.¡±

    ¡°Really? What about his whole anti-tournament mentality?¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s just that he didn¡¯t put up much of a fuss about not wanting to help him, if any. I guess it¡¯s because this kind of help falls under training in general, even if it¡¯s for the tournament. That is the one aspect, after all, that he conceded is positive about tournaments. But if you ask me, Lin is perfectly aware that he¡¯s walking back somewhat on his dogmatic statement, and he¡¯s alright with that. Not because he¡¯s a hypocrite, or that he doesn¡¯t believe in what he says; I¡¯m assuming he does. But simply because he¡¯s the kind of person¡ªor teacher, I should say¡ªwho doesn¡¯t let his beliefs interfere with the best way to do his job. In this case, he thinks that the tournament won¡¯t help Felix become a better fighter one whit, but helping him during a half-hour private session is.¡±

    ¡°If that¡¯s the case, then there really isn¡¯t any reasoning that he could use to prevent you from joining the end of the year tournament.¡±

    ¡°Eh, that¡¯s a bit different. There¡¯s Lin¡¯s whole shtick about me already training as hard as I can or should be or whatever. Not to mention the gap in ability between me and Felix. Plus, it¡¯s not like I actually want to join the tournament. So if the academy¡¯s willing to let it slide for me, I¡¯m more than happy to comply.¡±

    Yvessa chuckled. ¡°We¡¯ll see how you¡¯ll feel about it in half a year. You¡¯d be surprised how big the part of you that is looking forward to proving yourself in front of other people actually is. Even if proving yourself is done by beating other people.¡±

    ¡°Oh, if we¡¯re counting beating other people in the not-physical sense, then I am perfectly aware of that part of me and it is indeed quite large. But you¡¯re right, I would be surprised if it also assimilated itself over combat and fighting other people. What do you think, Sarah? I know you don¡¯t enjoy combat as much as these two freaks. But you still take to it more than I do¡ªfor now, at least¡ªnot to mention that it¡¯s a lot of physical exertion and we all know how much you love that.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to ask me whether a part of me really wants to show I¡¯m better than other people by beating them to the ground in a combat competition or whether I think you¡¯ll become someone like that?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°The former. I mean, you didn¡¯t make the final match during the tournament last year, but you don¡¯t seem to care about it half as much as Felix or Yvessa presumably will, if it happened to them.¡± He leaned to whisper in her ear, ¡°I assume there¡¯ll be a lot of crying.¡±

    ¡°Well I didn¡¯t cry,¡± Sarah said with half a laugh while Yvessa rolled her eyes. ¡°But you¡¯re right, I didn¡¯t care half as much about that competition as they do. Also, my training was obviously sub-optimal if I my goal was to win that tournament. I¡¯m training in two close-quarters methods. And honestly? I just don¡¯t care about the physical components of fighting all that much. All I care about is that it¡¯s good enough for me to carry the day with magic.¡±Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°ask her how much she cares about winning the graduation tournament and you¡¯ll hear a totally different answer and about expectations that will lead to crying if end up unmet.¡±

    ¡°That goes without saying. I might be trying my hands in all sorts of different disciplines while at the academy, but I¡¯m still aiming to leave it as a combatant. And as a combatant, there isn¡¯t any reason for me not to aim for being the best fighter in my year. That¡¯s totally different from just being the best at physical combat. Need I remind you that without magic, hand-to-hand fighting is at a great disadvantage compared to fighting with a weapon?¡±

    ¡°Need I remind you that if you dropped your ranged combat classes completely, you could¡¯ve used that time for sword training instead? I understand wanting to be proficient enough with a sword until you reach a higher level where it¡¯ll be much safer to switch to just hand-to-hand. But really, what do you get from training in ranged combat, and with two weapons at the same time?¡±

    ¡°How did this suddenly become a conversation about my classes again? Besides, you¡¯ll be happy to know that since it¡¯s been half-a-year since I¡¯ve begun training in ranged combat. That I¡¯ve decided to drop the bow in favor of the sling. And once the year ends, I¡¯ll stop attending those classes completely. Only going to the range sometimes to keep my skills from getting rusty.¡±

    ¡°Damn¡­¡± Sam nodded approvingly. ¡°That¡¯s a big decision, and a good one, if I¡¯m allowed to add my¡ªstill unfounded, but getting there¡ªopinion to the mix. I particularly like the fact that you obviously weren¡¯t planning on telling it us about it because you were, presumably, saving that reveal to score a point at some future argument.¡±

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t my intention in the least. I was simply saving that information to myself because I knew you guys will see that as me proving your point and that you¡¯ll use it to reopen the stupid argument that I should drop some of my electives.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good point. I was just thinking of doing that. How about you, Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°I was going to say that I¡¯m glad you¡¯ve made that choice and that it¡¯s the correct one,¡± she told Sarah. ¡°Take that as you will¡­¡± She then opened her mouth but closed it after a moment¡¯s thought, leaving the rest of the table to guess what she probably wanted to say.

    ¡°Smart¡­¡± Sam winked at her. ¡°Always leave them wanting more.¡±

    ¡°Shut up. I didn¡¯t say anything.¡±

    ¡°Indeed. And speaking of not saying anything, did you and Dan square up your inquires over mail or would you like to tag along with me and get it cleared right now?¡±

    ¡°Thanks for the offer, but it¡¯s not necessary. We talked yesterday. He suggested leaving my nourishment patterns as they are, pretty much agreeing with Sarah, and for me to wait to take the two specialized self-healing courses until next year.¡±

    ¡°So what elective are you going to take at the next trimester instead?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°Or did you drop the plan of taking another elective?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t, for now. Dan gave me a couple of suggestions, but I want to go over each one more in-depth. I honestly don¡¯t really want to take an elective, but I want to use that block of time for something useful¡ªAnd I don¡¯t want to spend all of it cultivating.¡± She turned to Sam with an unjust, accusatory tone.

    ¡°Now I¡¯m the one who didn¡¯t say anything,¡± Sam said. ¡°Anyway, you do you. I trust you to best out of the four of us to make the correct choices when it comes to your own education. Just make sure to keep me updated about what your choices end up being and your reasoning for then so that I could use that information for my own decision-making.¡±

    ¡°I thought you were just going to let Dan choose all your electives for you?¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°That was never really the plan. Dan just said that he¡¯ll limit my choices, but that I¡¯ll still need to pick from those. If I really can¡¯t do that, then yeah, obviously, he¡¯ll pick for me, but I don¡¯t want that. I want my choices to be completely my own. The final choice I mean. You know, after the array of possible choices has been whittled down by Dan¡¯s limitations, your guys¡¯ input and the as yet unseen but ever present influence of my dear mentor. Because I don¡¯t know how much time I¡¯ll even have time for electives with my Thread-Weaver lessons.¡±

    ¡°Do those lessons count as electives for students at the Royal Academy?¡± Sarah asked Yvessa.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. But I only have the information Erianna told me to make that conclusion. So I don¡¯t actually know. But the Royal Academy¡¯s curriculum is pretty different from ours. I wouldn¡¯t try and compare the two.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Guess that¡¯s something to ask Farris about. If I¡¯ll remember to. And if that bastard will tell me without doing his stupid bit about asking questions I¡¯m not ¡®ready for.¡¯ And on that note of ridiculing one of the most powerful people in the Web, I¡¯m going to bid you farewell. I trust that I¡¯ve made up for my previous transgression by accompanying you today for some extra time?¡± he asked Sarah while getting up.

    ¡°Not leaving early doesn¡¯t count as staying longer. But, you¡¯re free to go. Consider yourself in indulgence for before.¡± She waved him off.

    Sam spent the walk over to Dan¡¯s practicing his tracing. Just a little bit. Simple drawing and moving exercises, the same stuff he and Dan were doing every day, even with the addition of actual tracings into the equation. Of course, now that they started on applied tracing, the necessity of the purposeless exercises was greatly lessened, so their share of the lesson was reduced to only three increments of ten minutes a day. But tracing a tracing was still more than Sam could readily do while being focused on other tasks, especially while walking in public, so he forwent any more complex practice in times such as these.

    Not that there were all that many times, despite what Sarah might claim. Sam wasn¡¯t habituated to using every waking moment of his day for practice. It was just a matter of chance and circumstance. If he ended up spending time without an activity to focus on and the thought happened to occur to him, then Sam might decide to use that time for tracing practice. Just like now, when he realized that he left his headphones in his room and then immediately decided that he might as well use the lack of noise for another purpose. But there were plenty of opportunities to practice tracing in between activities that Sam had let pass without a moment¡¯s consideration. And how would I know if there were actually any? He chuckled. That¡¯s confirmation bias if I¡¯ve ever seen one.

    Or maybe it wasn¡¯t, as Sam spent lunch without sneaking any tracing practice in. To be fair, he was still reeling from a very involved session of gathering practice that ended up running an hour late, which might void today¡¯s lunch as an applicable data point. The change in their gathering practice wasn¡¯t as a result of any new information being brought forward, but rather Dan deciding that it should be a little more intensive on Sundays from today and going forward. Which, as far as he was concerned, was wholly Dan¡¯s decision to make, as most, if not all, of the extra intensity of the lesson came as a result of Dan taking an almost inhumanly active part in directing and correcting Sam¡¯s seeking and excavating.

    All in all, it was a good thing that his lesson with Dan turned out to be so hectic today because that managed to keep Sam focused on them, and not worry about what came after. Unfortunately, it all came crashing down at dinner. When Sam suddenly remembered something that he was somehow able to repress for the entire day. ¡°Say¡­ aren¡¯t you starting me on a new routine today?¡± he asked Sarah, who nodded in response.

    Felix laughed. ¡°There¡¯s no way that you forgot about that.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ but for some reason, I didn¡¯t think about that for the whole day. That¡¯s what surprised me.¡±

    ¡°Maybe that means your consciousness realized that there really isn¡¯t anything for you to be worried about,¡± Sarah suggested.

    ¡°Or,¡± Felix said, ¡°maybe it was trying to protect you.¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°I¡¯d have to go with Sarah¡¯s version of the joke. I¡¯m afraid that I had already managed to make one similar to your immediately after realization struck.¡±

    ¡°Mine wasn¡¯t a joke, though.¡± Sarah pouted.

    ¡°Really? I thought it was. Being even more detached from reality than Felix¡¯s claim that my brain might do something to my benefit.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ What you just said must also be a joke, then. Seeing as there is no way you¡¯d want to make me angry right now¡­¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t. Would you?¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t I? And how would you know whether I would? After all, you wouldn¡¯t even be able to know for sure whether I would have.¡±

    Sam started back at her, eyes narrowed. ¡°Nah, you wouldn¡¯t. But you¡¯re right. I apologize for saying that your attempt at uplifting my spirits was a joke. Now if we all could just finish eating so we could get this day over with. Right now, the anticipation is what¡¯s hurting me most.¡±

    ¡°Well, you¡¯ll just have to stomach it,¡± Felix said. ¡°I¡¯ve barely eaten all day and I¡¯m not leaving here until my plate¡¯s empty.¡±

    ¡°Ugh! Curse you and your gluttony. Oh, I forgot to ask, how was your private lesson with Lin?¡±

    ¡°It was alright. We pretty much just sparred nonstop for most of it until he gave me some pointers in the last two minutes. Nothing as methodical as he¡¯s doing with you.¡±

    ¡°Are you complaining? Didn¡¯t you say that the way he was teaching me was bullshit?¡±

    ¡°Nah, I¡¯m not complaining. I¡¯m just saying that it wasn¡¯t much of a lesson. There¡¯s a different between breaking down everything a person does good and bad in a fight, that¡¯s the methodical I¡¯m talking about, and breaking down fighting itself to millions of different components, that¡¯s bullshit. I wouldn¡¯t even call that methodical anymore. It¡¯s like a couple of unnecessary steps further down the road.¡±

    ¡°OK, let¡¯s say I understand what you meant about the differences. What does the methodical you¡¯re talking look like?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s basically talking about analyzing the fight after the fact,¡± Yvessa explained. ¡°Going over every detail if possible and seeing what you could¡¯ve done better and what you couldn¡¯t have. Once Lin starts you on free-sparring, you¡¯ll see it for yourself. There¡¯s even a topic-by-topic form of sorts that the academy wants us to follow as we analyze each other. In other words, Felix is just complaining that all he got out of his lesson with Lin was sparring and a couple of pointers afterwards, instead of sparring and a thorough review of his efforts.¡±

    ¡°Pretty much.¡± Felix nodded. ¡°Only I wasn¡¯t complaining. Lin is probably the best physical fighter I ever fought against, so I have to say his reputation is well deserved.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve never sparred with him before?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve sparred with him. But with a limited frame, for training purposes. He¡¯s not one for going all out with students. We have exchanged mock blows before, training routines, but this was the first time I really fought with him.¡±

    Sam stared back at him incredulously. ¡°What the hell does a ¡®real fight¡¯ mean when you¡¯re both sparring with training weapons?¡±

    ¡°Fine. Forget my wording then. I never sparred with him for longer than a couple of minutes before.¡±

    ¡°Really? I¡¯d have thought that with your guys¡¯ skills and promising future that the academy would¡¯ve treated you to plenty of private lessons when applicable.¡±

    ¡°Private lessons really aren¡¯t a thing in the academy,¡± Sarah said. ¡°It¡¯s a military institution, after all. Technically, we should all be treated the same for good and for bad. Of course, if there¡¯s a really promising cadet in a specialized field, then a teacher might choose to spend some of their own time to help the cadet advance faster. Like Maurice does, for example. But it¡¯s pretty rare overall.¡±

    Felix hummed in agreement. ¡°Don¡¯t forget that the reason you¡¯re getting private instruction isn¡¯t because you have great potential and they don¡¯t trust their general curriculum to help you fully utilize it. But because you¡¯re far behind the general curriculum. Help in order to catch up rather than leap ahead.¡±

    Yvessa chuckled. ¡°Don¡¯t let them fool you, Sam. New Point Academy is as egalitarian an educational institution as they come in the Web. But in its struggle between egalitarianism and meritocracy, meritocracy still comes out ahead. All three of us are definitely getting special treatment because of our potential. Lin didn¡¯t agree to help Felix because of you, or not just because of you, but also because Felix is Felix. Most of our combat instructors definitely pay us more attention that they do for anyone else. Also, the reason you¡¯re getting private help is not just because you¡¯re behind, but because of your potential as well. If, say, me or Felix had a subject we struggled with, I¡¯m willing to bet we would¡¯ve been able to get private help without much of a hassle.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I suppose that¡¯s fair.¡± Felix shrugged. ¡°As long as the subject we were struggling with wasn¡¯t something as esoteric as Sarah¡¯s dwarven patterns, though.¡±

    ¡°That goes without saying.¡±

    ¡°There wasn¡¯t any reason for it to be said.¡± Sarah frowned.

    Felix finally finished eating soon after and Sam spent most of the walk over to their usual Sunday evening haunting grounds in inward contemplation. Or in less positive words, in an anxious self-obsessive internal monologue. It wasn¡¯t that bad, mostly just worrying about the physical after-effects of the upcoming challenge. But Sam could¡¯ve gladly done without it. Hopefully, the next time Sarah instituted a change in his workout, he¡¯ll be able to start it without any mental complaint (and maybe eventually, without any major physical complaint).

    But as it turned out, most of his worries proved unfounded. For while the increase in difficulty was along the same lines as it was during the previous two times, the accompanying physical displeasure (and thus, and more importantly, mental woe) was greatly reduced. Not by a whole lot, but enough for Sam to not even bother wondering whether today was really easier than the last time.

    A very good start to the week, Sam concluded once he was back in his room, not hating stairs anywhere close to how much he hated them a couple of weeks ago.

 Chapter 82

    The same major from last time greeted Sam as soon as he entered the Web Communications building. Murmuring in thanks, Sam followed closely behind him while trying not to feel bad for causing this poor fellow so much anxiety on a Saturday. It seemed that even without the call from the supreme commander being a surprise, just the interaction with Sam¡¯s mentor was enough to rattle the officer in charge of facilitating said call. Sam sympathized, and he could certainly see where the major¡¯s worries were coming from. Even if he couldn¡¯t reconcile them with his own perception of the person causing them.

    Or with your own recent behavior, he considered with a half-weary, half-amused smile. You¡¯ve yet to showcase even a single ounce of your old fear of authority figures. Where did that specific branch of your once overburdening social anxiety disappear to? Did your newfound importance get to your head? Or is it because every authority figure you¡¯ve met up till now is so far beyond you that your brain had an overflow? Or perhaps it¡¯s something much more sinister? A change in personality? But what parts of you were changed? And when?

    ¡°Ugh,¡± he groaned once he was left alone in the call room, ¡°I knew I shouldn¡¯t have read that article. Now I¡¯m all up in my head. This just goes to show that nothing good can come from reading academic papers that aren¡¯t part of the syllabus.¡±

    ¡°What academic paper was that?¡± asked the smiling figure of Farris, this time not in his office but what looked, based on the way his legs were dangling off its edge, a¡­

    ¡°Are you on a rooftop?¡±

    ¡°No. Of course not. This is a spire-top. Very different.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Best view of the sea in the area. Hell, all of Larsus, I¡¯d say. I¡¯d turn the picture around if you had a chance to see something.¡±

    ¡°Yvessa told me that there¡¯s a reason why all these rooms are built and painted the way they are. Isn¡¯t having an open background like yours is, pretty bad?¡±

    ¡°Not bad. Wasteful. Dizziness inducing maybe, which is another reason why I¡¯m not turning it around. But mainly wasteful. However, seeing as I¡¯m the one footing the energy bill for this call¡­ you don¡¯t have to worry about that.¡±

    ¡°How is that possible? Are you paying for both ends? Cause I would¡¯ve thought that the majority of the expenditure would come from my end having to convert where you are to visual data.¡±

    ¡°You really want to get into the fine details of how inter-Web communication works?¡±

    ¡°I was just curious. No reason to get all wound up and bossy about it.¡±

    ¡°Bossy?! Listen here¡±¡ªFarris pointed at him with his leg¡ª¡°you better change your tone, mister, and fast. I¡¯ve had it up to here with you disrespecting me and my authority. I get quite enough of that at home and I will not abide anymore of it in this weird hybrid professional-personal relationship that we¡¯ve got going on.¡±

    ¡°Are¡­ are you serious?¡±

    ¡°What?! Of course not. It¡¯s insulting that you had to ask that. Now, to answer your question in short: the majority of the energy burden in the call falls on sending, not receiving¡ªdon¡¯t bother with understanding why¡ªso it¡¯s agreed upon that the caller pays for the added expenses from the call itself. As for your as yet unasked question. There is a delay between visual connection being made and audio connection being made, so I heard you before I saw you. All clear? Good, now what article were you moaning about?¡±

    ¡°Just so you know, this little clairvoyant act of yours has gotten real old by now. ¡±

    ¡°Whatever. It saves us time from getting bogged down in a discussion of something that doesn¡¯t matter in the least.¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°And talking about what article I read yesterday doesn¡¯t fall into that category?¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t know until you tell me, now would I?¡±

    ¡°Fine. It was a paper that a Taken who was a philosopher before the Integration wrote a couple of years after the fact. She was trying to examine some of the different philosophical quandaries that arose from her experience and that happened to bother me as well. Nothing too deep or technical, as it was made to be read outside of just the academic circles. Which might explain why it was so well written. But anyway, it just got me thinking about stuff that I haven¡¯t been giving as much attention to recently.¡±

    ¡°Ugh. Disgusting. What the hell am I going to do with you? Is this the same thing from way back when where you were worried this reality wasn¡¯t real?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s one of those avenues of thoughts, yes. One that doesn¡¯t bother me as much as some of the others and one that she hadn¡¯t touched on at all, for obvious reasons. But what the hell are you talking about ¡®all the way back when?¡¯ That was only a couple of weeks ago!¡±

    ¡°So what? I¡¯m willing to bet those seven weeks felt like seven months to you. By all subjective accounts, it was a long time ago. We were different people then. With different plans and aspirations. I was still hoping my masterstroke of discovering you would go unnoticed by the wider Web. And you were still moping constantly, being irrationally worried about not being able to meet my expectations for you. And look how far we¡¯ve come since then! You¡¯re progressing in breakneck pace, shattering records left and right, handily beating even the best fourteen-year-olds Taken in history. Whereas I¡¯m knee deep in the political mire that my ascending of you has caused.¡±

    Sam narrowed his eyes. ¡°Is it my ¡®ascension¡¯, or is it perhaps your reforms of the Terran military?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s you. That¡¯s what¡¯s so great. But enough about politics! I told you already that politics is the one topic that¡¯s off-limit. We can go back to talking politics once you¡¯re strong enough so that we could both use each other as tools.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re an ass, you know that? And don¡¯t think I missed the line about me beating teenagers.¡±

    ¡°That line wasn¡¯t supposed to be missed. Although I am now regretting the fact that I haven¡¯t made a joke about you physically beating teenagers. That would¡¯ve been funny.¡±

    ¡°It would¡¯ve ruined the joke even more. From just not funny to actually painful to the ear. So, what did you want to talk to me about? Or did you call this meeting just to waste its time by chastising me for wasting time during our conversations?¡±

    ¡°No... But that would¡¯ve been really funny.¡±

    ¡°Farris¡­¡±

    Farris laughed and spread his hands wider. ¡°Patience now, Sam, patience. We¡¯ll get to everything I wanted to talk to you about in due time. And besides, what is the harm in simply spending time talking to me? Am I not an enjoyable person to converse with? Does our social interaction not fall under the time allotted to you for leisure on Saturdays after lunch? Congratulations on the updated schedule, by the way.¡±

    ¡°How do you know about that? I haven¡¯t told you.¡±

    ¡°My niece told me.¡±

    ¡°What? Why the hell would Yvessa tell her that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. But they spent a long hour talking about just you, so it came up when I asked Erianna to share some of the information she gained from the occasion.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, there¡¯s no way. Yvessa¡¯s entire call is only about an hour. Dan told you, right?¡±

    ¡°Of course. So how about it? Do I not qualify as an appropriate conversational partner for the leisurely usage of this hour of your free time?¡±

    ¡°OK, so first of all, this hour is specifically geared towards asocial leisure time, so no matter who you were, you wouldn¡¯t fit the bill. And second, are you an appropriate partner? Because it feels to me that, all things considered, we can¡¯t¡ªor at the very least, shouldn¡¯t¡ªuse this once a month meeting for just a causal chat.¡±

    ¡°Why not? Are you trying to insinuate that you wouldn¡¯t be interested in having a casual chat with me? Me? The only person in the Web more interested in who you were before you became a Taken rather than who you are now?¡±

    Sam shook his head with a slight grimace. ¡°Were you trying to joke that you care more about Terran history and culture than most people do? Because it came out wrong, and pretty toxic.¡±

    ¡°Yes, that is what I was going for. And you¡¯re right, it definitely came out wrong. But my unanswered question still stands. And while I might be a very powerful and important man, I am still a man at the end of the day. I would be hurt to find out that you don¡¯t see me as a friend. Of course, the truth is what¡¯s most important. Don¡¯t fear that you telling me it will cause irreparable damage to our relationship, which will prevent me from fulfilling my mentor¡¯s duty towards you.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to make this weird on purpose?¡±

    ¡°Weird? What part of what I said was weird? Just answer my question. Don¡¯t focus on how you¡¯re talking to one of the most powerful people in the Web, or that I¡¯m holding your future in the palm of my hands, or the rumors of how I use my position and strength in order to force my will on other people. Focus on me, Farris, the person. Then tell me if you really have a problem spending just one measly hour every month chatting with me about nothing in particular. With this context in mind, it¡¯s a pretty normal question, no?¡±

    Sam laughed. ¡°You¡¯re definitely doing this on purpose. So, what is this all really about? Are you trying to play for time because you don¡¯t have enough material to cover the whole hour you¡¯ve scheduled?¡±

    ¡°Material? What material? I don¡¯t have any material. I¡¯m just making it up as I go along.¡±

    ¡°That would explain all the time we¡¯ve wasted up till now talking about nothing. But I don¡¯t buy it. I¡¯ve come to realize that you¡¯re taking your ¡®mentor¡¯s duties¡¯ way more seriously than I originally gave you credit for.¡±

    ¡°Do you also realize that what you just said is very rude? You¡¯re making it sound as if you seriously doubted my capabilities as a mentor.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say capabilities. I was just talking about willpower to fully dedicate those capabilities for the purpose of mentoring me. As far as where those capabilities actually lie¡­ Well, we¡¯ve yet to talk about anything of substance and you just said that you didn¡¯t even have a plan for what to talk to me about today.¡±

    ¡°So?¡± Farris asked. ¡°What¡¯s so bad about not talking about anything of substance? Does the fact that I¡¯m your mentor mean that I¡¯m only allowed to talk to you about your training or magical concepts? In fact, I¡¯m pretty sure that in the, regrettably, limited time we¡¯ve had for conversation, we mostly talked about stuff that doesn¡¯t have to do with your training.¡±

    ¡°I mean, I¡¯m not going to argue with that. It sounds about right. But are you seriously trying to tell me that you didn¡¯t have anything you wanted to talk to me about for this meeting? I realize that we don¡¯t have to only talk shop, but c¡¯mon¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh? You do? Does that mean that you do consider me a friend? Worth of conversing with on topics that don¡¯t have to do with just your betterment as a future combatant?¡±

    ¡°You know, I¡¯m usually the one making the jokes about other people seeing, or not seeing me as a friend. And I have to tell you, it doesn¡¯t feel nice to be on the receiving end.¡±

    ¡°Who says I¡¯m joking?¡± joked Farris.

    ¡°Whatever. Let¡¯s just say that you are my friend. Will that allow us to move on?¡±

    ¡°Wait wait wait, just hold on a second. I didn¡¯t say that I was your friend. I was asking whether you are my friend. I¡¯m way too cool to be your friend.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s tough luck because I choose to live in a world where the properties of friendship are transitive. If a friendship exists, then it must extend both ways, and I¡¯m just not willing to entertain the existence of assholes who act like it doesn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Woo¡­ hit a soft spot there?¡±

    ¡°Of course. I¡¯m a person in a constant struggle with anxiety, aren¡¯t I? Where do you think all of my jokes about people not seeing me as a friend stem from? But we¡¯re not talking about that right now. I¡¯ve answered your question. Can we move on?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve answered my question, yes, but did you answer truthfully? One would think that if we really are friends, then you would have no problem pouring your heart out to me about your past social struggles.¡±

    ¡°Is this your first time talking with a real person?¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°Of course it is. You are the only real person in existence. Every other person is just a¡ª¡±

    ¡°Shut up.¡±

    ¡°Heh, sorry. And I was just joking before, don¡¯t worry. We still have plenty of time before we need to start our deep dive into psychoanalyzing your past.¡±

    ¡°Did you do the same thing with your other mentee? Did it feel weird to be both the person having the trauma shared with while also being the cause for said trauma?¡±

    ¡°I wholeheartedly reject the assumption that I was the cause of any emotional malaise my sweet and talented niece might¡¯ve suffered during her childhood. The very notion is absurd! I patiently waited until she was an adult before subjecting her to the real facets of my personality. But say, is this the chimes of hypocrisy I¡¯m hearing? Or does your continuous insistence to criticize and remark upon everything I say doesn¡¯t have anything to do with why we haven¡¯t spoken of anything, as you said, ¡®of substance¡¯ yet?¡±

    ¡°So if I just shut up and let you talk, will you get to the point already?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re already at the point, my friend. This is what I¡¯ve been trying to tell you all this time. Face it, how much help in your training do you think I could possibly lend you from this far away and in this little time when you¡¯ve already got so many resources allocated towards providing you with such an aid?¡±

    ¡°How would I know? I¡¯m not the Ruler who decided he wanted to mentor someone on a whim. I¡¯m just a level zero who¡¯s yet to reach the point where I¡¯m as knowledgeable as a twelve-years-old.¡±

    ¡°Oh, pfft! You¡¯ve reached that point a long time ago. Twelve-years-old are dumb. You¡¯re giving them way too much credit.¡±

    ¡°Eighteen-year-old then. My younger compatriots here at the academy.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s not many of them by now, but I get your gist. So let me answer my own question. Not much. Currently, there isn¡¯t anything I can do to help you with your training that I haven¡¯t already done. Sure, I could come down and bunk with you and personally tutor you day and night, but neither of us wants that, now do we? Practical constraints notwithstanding. As far as your training and studies go, my role as your mentor will only begin in earnest in the future; once you¡¯ve got some more of that vaunted knowledge under your cap and a few more levels in your belt. Until then, my only job is to make sure the people helping you train for that future are doing their job to the fullest of their abilities and that their abilities are satisfactory. And I have to say, from the weekly briefings Dan sends me, I¡¯m very much satisfied.¡±

    Sam raised his eyebrow. ¡°So this is really all the mentorship business that you wanted to go over with me today? You were being serious when you said I should consider this a social call?¡±

    ¡°Of course I was! But no to your first question. Remember, what did I say my most important role as your mentor was going to be before we parted so so long ago?¡±

    ¡°Making sure I don¡¯t end up as a whiny loser who doesn¡¯t think we can win this war?¡±

    ¡°That was one aspect of it, yes. But that shouldn¡¯t have been your entire takeaway from that conversation.¡±

    ¡°Well maybe if you tried saying things clearly and not acting all coy and cryptic because you find it funny¡­¡±

    ¡°Fine. I¡¯ll say it so clear that even you won¡¯t be able to squirm your way out of it and into a joke. My first role as your mentor is to make sure that the training you¡¯re undergoing is as optimal as possible for when I am not there to train you personally. That was done then, it is done now, and it will continue being done in the future. You can trust me when I tell you there is no more room for me to involve myself or change up your regimen.

    ¡°Dan is teaching you magic personally, and is there to help you or guide you towards help for every other study subject that the academy or the military life might demand of you in the future. You have one of the best combat instructors the Terran Republic has to offer attending you privately three times a week. And from the reports I¡¯m getting on all of these aspects, your progress so far is stellar enough that I find it hard to believe any of those two are not doing their utmost to train you. You have three of the brightest young Terran talents¡ªI¡¯d say the three brightest, but I¡¯m not allowed to show favoritism¡ªaccompanying you on every step of your journey so that any other aspects that¡¯s not covered directly by your tutors, will be covered and caught by your friends in case you fall behind. That is, as far as I¡¯m concerned, as optimal as your training can and should be for now.

    ¡°For later, you will have my second role as your mentor coming into play: training you personally. I¡¯m not going to give you any spoilers on what that might entail, but let¡¯s just say that I am definitely going to have a lot of fun. I don¡¯t actually know when this phase of our contract will come into play or just what shape it will take. Sure, I have my suspicions and my plans, but we¡¯ll have to wait and see. What is certain, though, is that from level 8 upwards, you won¡¯t be making any decision on how to further advance without formulating them with me.¡±

    Sam snorted. ¡°So you¡¯re saying that I have to wait until level 8 for you to play the actual role of my mentor?¡±

    ¡°Of course not! I was just giving you the worst-case scenario. Say things spiral out of control and we won¡¯t have any time to interact regularly. Even then, you can rest assured that I¡¯ll keep fulfilling my first and third role as a mentor, and will definitely come back to my second role when it¡¯s time for you to make your plans for Rulership. And like I said, that¡¯s the worst-case scenario. Much more likely is that the second role will come into effect in about two or three years. Once you have enough of a solid foundation for me to actually be able to start fashioning you in the image I¡¯ve envisioned for you.¡±

    ¡°And speaking of fashioning you: my third role as your mentor. For they are very much one and the same. In my opinion, the third role is the actual definition of what a mentor should do and be, and that is to guide you mentally. It¡¯s the most important role. It¡¯s what we talked about when I said I wanted you to become a certain kind of Ruler. This is the main reason why I wanted us to meet regularly; why just ¡®taking about nothing¡¯ is a good enough use of our time. Because let¡¯s face it Sam, you are a bright jewel, yes, but you¡¯ve got a long way to go before you can shine brightly enough to fulfill the role I have in mind for you.¡±

    ¡°And what role is that?¡± Sam asked with gritted teeth and a suddenly thumping heart.

    ¡°We¡¯ve been over this already. Second in command to Erianna as the realistic joke. Winning the war and killing all the Epiraks as the more far-fetched grand design. In any case, any vision of mine for your future, big or great, calls for me guiding you towards some behavioral and cognitive changes. By the way, before you start taking this analysis of your personality the way you always do, and make some half-joke half-plea-for-help about how you¡¯re obviously not suited for military life and being a Ruler as cool and strong as me. That¡¯s not what I¡¯m talking about. I know you won¡¯t like hearing this, but for making Ruler, for being in the military, you¡¯re already good enough. At the very least, you¡¯re on the right trajectory such that unless someone pulls you out of it, you¡¯re definitely going to end up staying and eventually acclimating to this lifestyle. It¡¯s just the way it is. I know you well enough by now to recognize that you won¡¯t be stepping off the path you put yourself on after only half a day of living in the Web. Cry about it, moan about the hardships you¡¯re going to suffer, rage against the ¡®high¡¯ estimation people keep giving you. It won¡¯t matter. The minute you chose to join the academy was the minute you made yourself the only person in existence who will never be able to prevent you from becoming a soldier.¡±

    ¡°You know what? On that, we agree.¡±This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

    ¡°Good. Then will you also agree with me that this isn¡¯t your final form?¡± Farris smiled. ¡°That, leaving your personal strength aside, you can become someone even greater than you are now?¡±

    ¡°Of course I will. The certainty that I can become a better person is one of my few objectively good personal qualities.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ leave the good and moral aside for now, will you? I¡¯m not talking about bullshit like never getting angry or always being courteous and willing to lend a hand. I¡¯m talking about you becoming a great person. A person with the willpower to stand against the whole world if necessary. If that¡¯s why you think should be done. You are currently a good person. No need to argue about that, you are. You can become a better one: more ethical or whatever other inconsequential philosophical concept you care so much about. But that journey is up to you. I don¡¯t care about that and neither does the Web as a whole. But what you aren¡¯t yet, is a great person, a hero. You know that great man theory that you Terrans have? That we elves and all the other races also have a version of, only ours is less sexist, racist, and more realistic? That¡¯s the kind of greatness that I¡¯m talking. And before you ask, it¡¯s not about being a leader. You don¡¯t have to be one if you don¡¯t want to and I won¡¯t bother trying to waste time convincing you that you¡¯ll make a fine one because you will end up as one, with or without my intervention. I¡¯m talking about the kind of greatness that comes when a good person such as you does all in their power in order to make the world a better place.¡±

    ¡°You mean imposing their definition of good and better upon the world?¡± Sam rolled his eyes.

    ¡°What did I say about leaving the moral bullshit aside for now?¡±

    ¡°When did I say that I agreed to such a stupid proposition?¡±

    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t care about this or that version of ethics right no. For example, what you believe should or shouldn¡¯t happen to the Epiraks. That¡¯s up to you. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll end up making the right choice. My question is this: does being a better person help you implement that decision in reality? Leave aside what the right choice is, you¡¯ve already reached it. Only thing that remains is to carry it out. Are you, as you are now able to fight against the entirety of reality, the material and social constraints, if that¡¯s what it takes for you to do the right thing? And not physically. Mentally?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Of course not. You¡¯re probably thinking that anyone willing to go against the entire world in order to enforce their view of rightfulness upon it is a fucking psychopath. And yeah, you know what? Anyone who is so sure that they¡¯re right that they¡¯re willing to burn down the world around them is most likely either a complete idiot or a psychopath. But, you¡¯re also still thinking about this from an ethical standpoint, from the position of being constantly afflicted by anxiety and insecurity for the entirety of you life and never being sure that what you believe in, much less the way you act, is the right thing.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re losing me Farris. What does this have to do with anything we talked about?¡±

    ¡°Everything!¡± Farris lifted himself off of the roof and floated over to Sam, manipulating the connection to make him appear closer. ¡°You said that you¡¯re not sure the Epiraks deserve extinction. Well, everyone else thinks they do. What will happen if you¡¯re the one who led the Web to victory over them and now you¡¯re holding their fate in your hands? Will you betray your convictions just because you will have no one at your back? No one standing by you? Assuring you that you¡¯re doing the right thing?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Probably yes? I guess.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to guess. Because I will make sure that you won¡¯t. Even if it is possible for you to become the kind of person who can lead the Web to victory without becoming the kind of person who will never give up on what they believe in, I am going to make sure that you will become both. Maybe it¡¯s an impossible ideal, but it¡¯s the one ideal you should strive for above all. More than becoming stronger, more than becoming more moral. That¡¯s the kind of person I like to think I am. That if I know something is right, I am going to do it. I might not do it in a day, maybe not even in years, but as long as I keep living, I¡¯m going to work towards doing it. That as long as I believe in doing something, I¡¯m not going to give up on doing it. Maybe I¡¯m not that kind of person yet, maybe I never will. Maybe you never will as well. Maybe anyone who isn¡¯t a psychopath or a complete idiot can¡¯t ever be that kind of person. But, that is the kind of person you should be most concerned with becoming.¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about? I should aim to become someone who¡¯s always sure of himself and never changes his mind? That¡¯s idiotic. And obviously you¡¯re not that kind of person as well.¡±

    ¡°Of course I¡¯m not always sure of myself. Of course I change my mind. But I¡¯m talking about an ideal. I¡¯m talking about never changing your mind to stop doing B when you think that B is something that should be done. You¡¯re allowed to change your mind and stop thinking that B should be done. But it has to be because of your own independent choice, because you stopped thinking that was the right thing to do, not because the real world makes doing B hard.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon, you¡¯re being ridiculous. No one¡¯s really like that. At least no sane person; it¡¯s impossible. What you¡¯re telling me that if you decide you want to kill every baby in the world and that it¡¯s the right thing to do, you¡¯re just going to do it, no matter who stands against you?¡±

    ¡°Yes! I would! And of course it¡¯s ridiculous, we¡¯re talking about an ideal. I¡¯m not really like this because I am a sane, and rational, and intelligent human being who can realize that he might be the problem if everyone around him, people he respects and loves, say A but he says B. But you¡¯re talking about deciding what the right thing is, again. Back to questions of ethics. That¡¯s not my point. In my scenario, you know what the right thing is. You know it in your bones; in every facet of your being. Imagine that instead of the New Terra you know, you¡¯ve been returned to a New Terra where slavery is the basis of the social order and the strong literally eat the weak. That¡¯s fucked up. You know very well that it¡¯s wrong. If you changed your moral opinion on the matter, then you¡¯ve gone through a personality change ten times greater than what I plan for you. So, in that scenario, would you have been able to do everything in your power, as long as you were alive, to bring that world crashing down, even if living in that world had no negative material implications for you?¡±

    ¡°We already covered that I wouldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Yes, and we have also covered that my goal for you is that you will. That¡¯s what I¡¯m getting at. You¡¯re a good person, Sam, I¡¯ll say that again, and you can and you will become a better one just as you¡¯re aiming. I¡¯m certain of that. But that shouldn¡¯t be all that you¡¯re aiming to become. Are you aiming to become a greater person? And if you don¡¯t like the inegalitarian language I¡¯m using, make up your own word for the type of person I just claimed that I saw myself as. In your current mad scramble for power and knowledge, which, by your own admission, includes a change in personality which will make your pursuit of those aspects more mentally bearable, are you also vying to become the type of person who will make use of those aspects against all odds? If that¡¯s what it takes to do the right thing?¡±

    ¡°You realize how ridiculous you¡¯re making all of this sound, right?¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°It¡¯s not ridiculous, though, that¡¯s the thing. Sure, I¡¯m speaking in grandiose terms; with dogmatic phrasing and ridiculous exaggerations. Name it whatever, it might be an unattainable and impractical ideal, but it¡¯s not ridiculous. You know why? Because at the end of the day, you live in a world where it¡¯s theoretically possible for you to become stronger than everyone else combined. If you happen to reach that material height, will you also have the will to use that strength in order to make the world a better place? I¡¯m not talking about not being afraid of making the wrong choice. That will and should remain with you forever. I¡¯m talking about being afraid¡ªeven though you have all that power, and even though you know, without a shadow of a doubt what the right thing to do is¡ªof carrying out that choice after you¡¯ve already made it because it just so happens to be against everyone else.¡±

    ¡°So what? Your gist is, essentially, that I need to become a more confident person? Be willing to force my will upon other people if that¡¯s what it takes for them to listen to me and do the right thing?¡±

    ¡°That you should aim to become a person who will never back down from doing the right thing as long as he¡¯s sure what the right thing is. That you¡¯d be willing to use your strength, your intelligence, your charisma, everything you have in your possession in order to bring your vision to fruition. Self-confidence is just a part of that. But you¡¯re right, it¡¯s certainly an aspect of your personality that we need to work on, regardless.¡±

    ¡°I still think it¡¯s total hogwash. You¡¯ve ever met a twenty-year-old? Most of them are pretty sure that they know what¡¯s right and what¡¯s wrong and have no problem with sincerely wishing for the power to enforce their vision on the world.¡±

    ¡°You mean people unbeset by fears and anxieties, completely assured of themselves and their beliefs despite the rapid frequency that every one of them, by simple virtue of how obtaining new knowledge works, had changed them throughout their life? Yeah, I mentioned them, psychopaths. Or complete idiots. Take your pick.¡±

    ¡°Alright. So you just made a joke in the middle of this very ¡®important¡¯ lecture which, as far as I¡¯m concerned, pretty much confirms that neither of us understood what you were talking about.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a joke, it was an exaggeration. And I think it got my point across rather succinctly, despite you acting like you don¡¯t understand what I was trying to tell you. As your mentor, my job is to make you become the best version of yourself that¡¯s possible. My first two roles had to do with¡­ let¡¯s call it the material world. The last one is to do with the mental, psychological, whatever. Let¡¯s say that if I succeed in acting according to my first two roles, then you will have become a Chosen. Then, for the last one, it¡¯s becoming the kind of person who¡¯s willing to go head to head with a Chosen, no matter what level you are, if that¡¯s what it takes to do the right thing. The type of person, when after they¡¯ve become the strongest Chosen, will override all other Chosen if they say A, but you think B. From my material roles, you should be getting material strength. And from my mental role, you should be getting willpower and the will to use your material strength in order to act upon your beliefs.¡±

    Sam sighed and rolled his shrugging shoulders into a stretch. ¡°OK, so all of that was your third role. Let¡¯s say I got what the end goal and agreed that I should pursue it. What does it actually entail? From a practical standpoint? Besides giving me a half-formed lecture and engaging me in casual chit-chat? I¡¯m assuming it¡¯s more than just giving me pep-talks every time I¡¯m feeling down on myself and telling me that I should have more confidence. Because I have to tell you, I get those from everyone around me, and while l like you well enough, it¡¯s not enough to make yours stand out from the pack.¡±

    Farris spread his hands with a smile before floating back to sit on the edge as before. ¡°Fear not, the lecture was half-formed only because it was formed on the spot. I¡¯ll have a better one for next time. But you needn¡¯t worry anyway. For my third role is the most subtle of my three. If I did my job correctly, you wouldn¡¯t even notice I did anything at all.¡±

    ¡°You just gave me a lecture on what kind of person I should aim to become.¡±

    ¡°That was an explanation of what the role is, not an example of what it looks like in action. I mean, seriously, how do you teach someone to be willing to lay down their life for what¡¯s right? Or give someone the self-confidence to stand before the eight most powerful people in the civilized Web and tell them to do something they don¡¯t want to do?¡±

    ¡°So what you¡¯re saying is that you don¡¯t actually have a plan for how to carry out your third role? And since you stated that fulfilling that role is the main reason for this and any near-future meetings, that really means that all the time we talked today, from a mentorship viewpoint, was pretty much wasted.¡±

    ¡°When did I say anything about wasting either my or yours time? All I just said was that you can¡¯t force a person to become a greater version of themselves. Unlike with physical strength, or with combat or magic, there aren¡¯t any lesson plans, there isn¡¯t homework to dole out. You have to play it by the ear. But I don¡¯t even need to do that. All I need to do is make sure that you¡¯re staying on the path you¡¯re already on.¡±

    ¡°You just said that the road I¡¯m on wasn¡¯t good enough because I¡¯m not aiming to be that kind of person.¡±

    ¡°Not true. All I said was that you currently aren¡¯t that kind of person. I asked whether you think you are trying to become that kind of person, and you, by the way, haven¡¯t given me a negative answer to that question. We have agreed that by choosing to attend the academy, you fully embarked on the path of becoming a soldier and that you were definitely going to see it to its end. That path indeed doesn¡¯t include you becoming a hero like I want you to become. However, you are also on another path: the path of becoming that kind of person. And it is the difference between these two paths where I enter the picture. As, unlike with becoming a soldier, ending up a hero isn¡¯t a guarantee for you just yet, and you yourself could negatively affect your chances of becoming one. My job is to keep you on the right track. And not morally, before you drag us into that bullshit again. I don¡¯t care whether you think A or B is bad. I only care that you¡¯ll end up the person who says and act B, even if everyone else says and acts A, if B is what you think is right.¡±

    ¡°Fine. And how are you planning on doing that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Just be myself, I guess. Say what comes to mind and what I think you need to hear. It worked out so far for Alan and Erianna.¡±

    ¡°So both your niece and nephew are psychopaths? Or is it complete idiots?¡±

    ¡°Look, will you just drop that already?! That was a joke. Besides, they still have a way to go until they reach the ideal, again it¡¯s a fucking ideal, I¡¯m talking about. But they¡¯ve kept to the right track so far, and shouldn¡¯t have a problem continuing along it. So if those two pampered royal snobs can do it under my guidance, so can you. There¡¯s no reason to doubt me and my ability to make sure you¡¯ll come out of my mentorship, the most Ubermench of Rulers there ever was.¡±

    Sam wagged his finger while nodding at Farris. ¡°Yep. And just like that, because you tried to sound smart and connect with me, you completely lost me. No ethics, my ass. It¡¯s all fucking ethics. But fine, those are your three roles as a mentor and it only took us like three hours to cover them. Can we move on to something of actual substance? Or is that you don¡¯t have any to talk to me about?¡±

    ¡°Were all of my words up till truly worthless? Did the premises of my argument really pass unnoticed by your mind? We¡¯ve covered great ground today. In my opinion, even if we were to finish our meeting right now, it would be a good one.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you¡¯ve made that point quite clear. But I, for one, would appreciate leaving here today having engaged you in a discussion that resulted from the application of your mentor¡¯s role, rather than just a discussion about said role. Even if talking about your duties is an integral part of your duties in it of itself, there¡¯s a limit to how much a person can stomach a meta-dialogue about their own future.

    ¡°Fine. It¡¯s clear that you¡¯re not fully convinced of the importance of what we¡¯ve talked about so far, but if I haven¡¯t managed to get my point across to you by now, harping on about it anymore certainly won¡¯t change anything. So let¡¯s move on to so-called practical matters, shall we? I¡¯ll start us off. Since the last time we¡¯ve met, your physical regimen has changed twice, correct?¡±

    ¡°Obviously. Why are you asking? Are you trying to verify the veracity of Dan¡¯s reports?¡±

    ¡°No. I¡¯m just trying to keep this from becoming a monologue. Engage you a little bit. Stop being so fussy, will you? So, let¡¯s separate your workout regime into topics: First, physically, how has your body changed in the last four weeks? Scratch that. Let¡¯s go all the way back, seven weeks?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s there to say? I¡¯ve started from a physical position I¡¯ve never been in all of my life. Sure, maybe I wasn¡¯t in shape, but I didn¡¯t carry any negative physical influences besides that. I won¡¯t say that I¡¯m in shape just yet, although I¡¯m quickly catching up to what was my ¡®peak¡¯ physical shape back when. But still, it¡¯s going to be sometime until I reach the point I was aiming for in my previous life. And way longer until I¡¯m in actual combat shape.¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°Nah. Getting in shape is easy. You¡¯ll be good enough in half-a-year with how much you¡¯re exercising. Still worse than most other cadets, probably, but good enough for ¡®combat shape.¡¯ Really, working out is just a tool to get your body nourished and as fit as possible for combat. It shouldn¡¯t be a goal in it of itself. In fact, I¡¯m still debating with myself whether to keep you on your current daily regimen even after you¡¯ve got some patterns to help you work out twice a day, slotting you in for combat practice instead. It¡¯s not ideal; there¡¯s a reason why your friends are working out as much as they do. But maybe for you, with your time constraints, it¡¯d be the best choice. We¡¯ll see. I¡¯ll need to consult a bunch of people.¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s sounds like actual mentor work. Where has that been all day?¡±

    ¡°With the rest of my future plans for you, in the back of my mind. It doesn¡¯t affect you currently, now does it? So why would I bring it up today?¡±

    ¡°To give me some idea of what my future might look like? Instead of just talking around it in a futile attempt to describe what it actually looks like.¡±

    ¡°Are you really dragging us backwards in conversation?¡±

    ¡°No, continue.¡±

    ¡°Good. So that was for the physical aspect of your physical regimen. And now for the mental, how¡¯s it going? Just concerning the workout, please, not in general. We¡¯ll keep that for later.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°It¡¯s fine. The hardest part is dealing with the physical pain, and that¡¯s been lessening. For all the other difficulties, I got Sarah to keep me coming to the workouts and to keep me exercising correctly. So there¡¯s not really a lot for me to struggle with in those departments. I don¡¯t want to sound smug, but I do believe that as long as things keep progressing as they have, that my physical body is the least of my worries for a change.¡±

    ¡°Splendid. I¡¯m glad to hear that. And I must say, that in my opinion, as long as your progress in all departments remains the same, that you have nothing to worry about at all. But of course¡­ keeping that rate of progression is your biggest worry, hmm?¡±

    ¡°Again with the questions you already know the answer to? If it¡¯s between me nodding my head dumbly and you monologuing, I¡¯ll take you talking uninterrupted.¡±

    ¡°Well I won¡¯t. I must take care to avoid making such an exclusive use of my voice, lest I become entranced by it and fully slide into narcissism. Back to what I was saying: your progress so far, as you¡¯re already well aware if not assenting to, has been stellar. It¡¯d be, of course, impossible to keep it up in perpetuity, but just maintaining some of that comparative edge in progress speed will be more than enough to see you up to snuff by the time you graduate.¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously saying that I¡¯ll be level 4 by then?¡±

    ¡°Pish-posh. Levels aren¡¯t everything. You¡¯ll be somewhere around level 3 and that¡¯ll be good enough. What¡¯s important is that in every other department, you will be the brightest shining star. Of course, with you overcoming my expectations for you by a whole three percent¡­ who knows? Maybe getting close enough to level 4 to reach it long enough before your first real combat isn¡¯t out of the question. But cultivating is the one area on which don¡¯t actually have anything to talk about right now, don¡¯t we?¡±

    Sam bit his lips. Don¡¯t we? When did I stop believing I could make level 10 in five years? Or if not believing, having it as an impossible to meet goal? He shrugged. ¡°Everyone keeps telling me that. Saying that I don¡¯t have anything to do differently about cultivating for now, only to keep at it. If that¡¯s really the case, then no, we don¡¯t have anything to talk about cultivating-wise.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to needle me for some secret seeking or excavating technique that will let you leap over the competition in one jump?¡±

    ¡°No. Because those don¡¯t exist.¡±

    ¡°Quite right. So quit worrying about your level. All roads lead to Ruler, so you will eventually catch up to those of your peers that you didn¡¯t manage to pass the first time around. Right now, your ability with cultivating is stellar, you¡¯re punching way above your weight. The benefits of being as talented a Thread-Weaver as you are. Currently, the only way to improve your seeking is by using it, as you¡¯re still not good enough to use a more advanced seeking technique, even were your core fragmented and you were able to. As for your excavating: it¡¯s obviously better than anyone in history who¡¯s only known about cultivating for seven weeks. The benefits of your age and the quality of the private tuition you receive. It has a lot more room for improvement than your seeking, true, but the only way to do so is by rote repetition, so just the same. All this brings us to conclude that the people around you are indeed right and we don¡¯t have anything to talk about cultivating-wise. You can just keep as you¡¯ve been doing, which is above what is required of you to meet your graduation goal.¡±

    Sam scratched his stubble. ¡°Have you taken into account the fact that I¡¯m not cultivating and practicing gathering as much as I did before the test?¡±

    ¡°I have, of course. But you¡¯re still cultivating more than any other of your fellow cadets. Which should be enough for you to start closing the gap in levels while allowing you to focus on what¡¯s really important. Closing the gap in knowledge and skills. And I¡¯m led to understand that¡¯s been progressing just as well.¡±

    ¡°Why the hell are you asking? You already said that it does.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t asking. You¡¯re just reading questions where there aren¡¯t any. Wonder what personality traits we might gleam from that¡­ Anyway, I really don¡¯t have a reason to interfere with any of those other subjects right now. Lin Jingway¡¯s doing his job admirably. I saw a compilation of your mock spars from the last week and you¡¯ve certainly improved. And according to the reports from the people who watched the whole videos, the training you¡¯re receiving is more than adequate.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve actually got people watching hours of me training?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Way down the chain of command, don¡¯t worry.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I really don¡¯t know how to feel about it.¡±

    ¡°Pride? Happiness? Or let me guess, you¡¯re feeling bad because you don¡¯t think someone out there ought to be spending so much time on just watching a video of you training. Well let me tell you something mister, those two have received extra compensation for their efforts¡ªcourtesy of my own private purse¡ªwhich goes much further than their actual efforts. But even if they did not, are you really trying to tell me that the time of some two mooks, is worth more than making sure you will become the best fighter you can be? And in case you don¡¯t know who you are, remember that you are my protege, destined to become one of the strongest Rulers in the Web in the worst-case scenario.¡±

    ¡°If they¡¯re just mooks then how do you know their reports are actually accurate and worthwhile?¡±

    ¡°What? What is this? Why do you care so much about that? Silent Waves, just accept something someone tells you for once without digging too deep into it, will you? If you must know, those two mooks are retired combat instructors. They¡¯re really old so they can¡¯t teach, let alone soldier, anymore, but they don¡¯t have much else to do with their life, so they still volunteer to help us out in a less demanding capacity: reviewing other teachers. Are you satisfied now?¡±

    ¡°What are their names?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m not even going to dignify answering that with a joke. We¡¯re moving on. So, since your physical progress with spearfighting is clearly evident, are you now finally willing to admit it to yourself?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯ve been getting better. I think that by now, Lin doesn¡¯t have to go over some of the basics again at every session. But you know¡­ it still feels mechanical, for lack of a better word. Like I¡¯m learning an alphabet, but I won¡¯t really be able to speak or read the language if you¡¯d ask me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s an awful analogy, but I get what you¡¯re saying. You still can¡¯t see yourself actually fighting while understanding what you¡¯re doing and making conscious decisions, let alone winning a fight. That¡¯s understandable. It¡¯ll come to you in due time. Every time your train, your abilities as a fighter become more and more instinctive. Once the process reaches a critical point, your abilities will become instincts like any other. From that point, it is a short way to seeing fighting as any other field of study and having confidence when partaking in it. Now, actually killing your opponents is a whole different story. But you have plenty of time before you need to worry about that.¡±

    Sam snorted. Less than five years? ¡°I thought you said that killing the Epiraks won¡¯t be difficult at all.¡±

    ¡°I said that seeing them as pure evil would be pretty evident. Killing them will still be an ordeal. But like I said, we can leave this whole grim subject of where combat strength naturally leads to a different conversation, very far off in the future. For now, I¡¯m more than satisfied with you finally willing to admit that your combat strength is increasing each and every day. That¡¯s a big step.¡±

    Sam rolled his eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t you ever getting tired of acting like you understand me on such a deep level?¡±

    ¡°Acting? Hmm¡­ I don¡¯t know. I think my understanding of who you are as a person, while, obviously and understandably, not as deep as I¡¯d like it to be, is still pretty through. Of course, that is just one other thing on which we will both have to work on and continuously strive to improve as mentor and mentee. Still, I¡¯m willing to bet that I know you better than you know me.¡±

    ¡°Well only one of us can see¡ªwhat was it that you said?¡ªthe other¡¯s ¡®unfettered existence.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Full and unfettered, yes. But you are once again trying to gleam from me information that I¡¯m not going to be the one to teach you about. So I¡¯m not even going to bother rejecting your claim that my Threadsight has anything to do with my understanding of you.¡±

    Sam waved him off. ¡°Whatever. You¡¯ll want to move to my actual studying now, no? Some more platitudes coming my way, then?¡±

    ¡°My, but if you are already confident enough to expect praise for your achievements, then you really have come a long in just this short conversation today. You can rest easy, though. You¡¯ve only just started your studies of all things magic, so I don¡¯t really have anything to add that you don¡¯t already know or a comment to give that you weren¡¯t already told. Your rate of progress is great, blah blah blah, you know the drill by this point. Honestly, the only way I can think of interjecting myself into the subject for now is to grill you on whether your reporting to Dan on your independent studying is accurate. But obviously it is, so that¡¯s pointless. We¡¯ll talk more about tracing and patterns and other stuff when there¡¯s a reason to. Like I said, I don¡¯t really have much of a role to play in your education for the time being. I¡¯m just here in a supervisory capacity for now.¡±

    ¡°Alright. So supervision successfully completed, then, I assume? We¡¯ve covered every aspect of my training I can think of. And if you don¡¯t have anything more¡­ relevant to talk to me about, should we just split for today?¡±

    ¡°What? Don¡¯t be ridiculous. We still have a couple of minutes. It¡¯s time for you to pay back for all the goodwill I¡¯ve shown you.¡±

    ¡°Oh no¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh yes. It¡¯s long overdue, but I believe you owe me a list of your favorite TV shows. Which gets me thinking: we have so much to talk about, maybe I should increase the frequency, if not lengths, of our meetings.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious.¡±

    Farris smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll be sure to tell you my favorite TV shows as well.¡±

 Chapter 83

    ¡°Wow,¡± Sam said as he stepped into the room, ¡°consider all of my expectations subverted. This place is fucking pristine.¡±

    ¡°He may be a slob,¡± Yvessa said as she pushed past him, ¡°but he¡¯s an honest slob. And he¡¯s good at keeping his promises. Nice job, Felix.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, whatever,¡± Felix answered with a sour face, closing the door behind the three of them. ¡°No need to gloat.¡±

    ¡°Now would that be gloating about her triumph over you?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Or about you having to clean your room because of said triumph. I need to know because I won¡¯t be comfortable making fun of you if it¡¯s the former.¡±

    ¡°Why thank you so much for you consideration.¡±

    ¡°He didn¡¯t answer me,¡± Sam leaned in to whisper to Sarah.

    She shrugged before asking Felix¡¯s permission to use the bathroom, leaving everyone else to get dinner ready. ¡°So I¡¯m guessing by the fact that Sarah hasn¡¯t screamed that you¡¯ve thoroughly cleaned the bathroom as well.¡± Yvessa snickered.

    ¡°My bathroom was always clean. What reason would there be for it to be dirty?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s gotta be the dumbest question I¡¯ve ever heard,¡± Sam said. ¡°Need I count on my fingers the types of bodily wastes for which the bathroom is, usually, the room where the expulsion is being carried out? Also, insert a joke about gay sex at your own leisure.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have sex in the bathroom.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we know. You¡¯ve made that abundantly clear.¡±

    ¡°That was only once¡­ twice. What, you¡¯re the only one who¡¯s allowed to complain about unrealistic fiction? Also, I just want to make this point very clear. My room is, was messy, but it wasn¡¯t dirty. I clean it regularly. Not as regularly as some other folks¡±¡ªhe made a show of gesturing with his head at Yvessa¡ª¡°but regularly enough. And my bathroom was neither. Alright? I don¡¯t want you guys putting any rumors out there about my room being a shithole.¡±

    Sam chuckled, and Felix gave him a narrow-eyed glare. ¡°I didn¡¯t say anything.¡± Sam held up his hands.

    ¡°Whatever the state of your room is usually,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°you have to admit that it looks way better now. So would it really pain you so much to keep it like this all the time?¡±

    ¡°Yes, obviously.¡± Felix shrugged in confusion. ¡°If it didn¡¯t, then I would have done it already, no? But since keeping it tidy all the time is just a huge waste without any positives, why would I bother so much with it if I didn¡¯t have to?¡±

    ¡°You realize that you will have to in two years, right?¡± Sarah asked as she joined them on the floor. ¡°They¡¯re not going to let you get away with your usual behavior in Military Training.¡±

    ¡°First of all, that¡¯s in two and a half years. And second of all, yeah, I know, so what? I can keep my room tidy and my stuff orderly. I just choose not. When I¡¯ll have to keep it a certain way, I will. And once we finish our training¡­ I probably never will again.¡±

    ¡°Man¡­¡± Sam chuckled. ¡°It¡¯d be so funny if, for your first deployment, you and Yvessa end up being assigned not only to the same unit but also to the same room.¡±

    ¡°It won¡¯t be,¡± Yvessa said, while at the same time Felix shook his head.

    ¡°No¡­ it definitely will be funny. Won¡¯t be fun, yes. But funny. Well, I¡¯ll laugh.¡±

    ¡°And what about you, then? Who will you be sharing a room with?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I imagine that my personal connections will get me out of such a base state of living.¡±

    ¡°And how was your meeting with Farris, by the way?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°What¡¯d you end up talking about?¡±

    ¡°Can we talk about that after we start eating?¡± Felix moaned. ¡°The food¡¯s getting cold.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t start eating before we have a toast,¡± Yvessa declared. ¡°Everyone grab a glass and let¡¯s cheer for Felix finally cleaning his room.¡±

    ¡°Again, the room was already clean. I just tidied it up. And don¡¯t think that I don¡¯t see what you¡¯re trying to do. Acting all high and mighty by not having us cheer for you winning the tournament.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about. We¡¯re here to celebrate the both of us reaching the finals in the tournament. Who cares who came first and who came second?¡±

    ¡°The both of you,¡± Sam said. ¡°The question is, who cares the most? And ordinarily, I would have gone with Felix, but with how smug you¡¯re acting, Yvessa¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Smug?¡±

    ¡°In a good way.¡±

    ¡°What good way is there to act smug?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Oh please. If you would¡¯ve won, you¡¯d be jumping up and down in Yvessa¡¯s room right now, making a show of touching everything.¡±

    ¡°Sure, no doubt. And I would be the first one to admit that said behavior is not good in any sense of the word.¡±

    ¡°Well it would be funny, and I, for one, consider humor to generally be good. The problem is that you¡¯re usually a smug asshole, so it¡¯s much more funny to see Yvessa acting as one than it would¡¯ve been to see you.¡±

    ¡°Guys,¡± Sarah interjected, ¡°we¡¯re here to celebrate, remember?¡±

    ¡°Celebrate what?¡± Yvessa innocently asked.

    ¡°C¡¯mon Yvessa, not you too.¡±

    ¡°Her too what?¡± Felix asked. ¡°Because I resent the implication that I have been behaving improperly for the occasion before, and Yvessa only started just now.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a fair point,¡± Sam agreed and turned to Sarah. ¡°They both have been behaving like children all night already. It wouldn¡¯t be fair to single only one of them out.¡±

    Yvessa laughed and handed Felix a drink. ¡°C¡¯mon, then. You make the toast. Before the food gets cold.¡±

    Felix grumbled but took the drink from her hand, mulling over his words for a moment. He eventually said, ¡°Alright. A toast to me and Yvessa proving we¡¯re the best fighters in our year. And for my room being tidy, whatever the reason for that might be.¡±

    ¡°Cheers!¡±

    ¡°To two of the three brightest young Terran jewels,¡± Sam called.

    ¡°Who¡¯s the third?¡± Yvessa asked, as they started eating.

    ¡°Sarah, of course.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Sarah deadpanned, ¡°and here I was thinking that you were talking about first years. So where do you count yourself?¡±

    ¡°Well, for one, I¡¯m not so young, so I can¡¯t be counted on the same list as you three.¡±

    ¡°Three years.¡± Felix held up three fingers.

    ¡°And secondly¡ªyou¡¯ll like this one, Sarah¡ªI do not count myself as a Terran jewel, but rather as one which belongs to the entire Web. I¡¯m the one of best all around, not just in New Terra.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but you¡¯re still a Terran. So you would have to be counted amongst us anyway.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have to be counted as anything. What do you think this is? The census?¡±

    Sarah held up her hand to stop him. ¡°As long as that¡¯s your reason for not counting yourself among our numbers, I¡¯ll allow it. If, that really is the reason¡­¡±

    ¡°What else would the reason be?¡± Sam feigned innocence. ¡°Me and Farris spoke about my gem-like qualities at length today. And as my mentor¡¯s student, I cannot allow a shining example of excellence like myself to be claimed by just the one national entity. The whole five, six even, will just have to share.¡±

    ¡°And what else did you and your mentor talk about today?¡±

    ¡°Nah, before that, I want to hear from these two finally.¡± Sam jerked a thumb towards the mid-bite Felix.

    ¡°Hear what?¡± Yvessa asked, in lieu of her speech-blocked compatriot.

    ¡°Your fight yesterday. The whole tournament at large, really. We didn¡¯t get any information out of either of you besides saying that you made it to the next round and then, yesterday, that you beat Felix in the final. Give us some details! Share in the gossip! Did you have to go up against that Chafi guy that you told me about?¡±

    ¡°Afi. And yes. We both did. He came fourth place.¡±

    ¡°He got lucky,¡± Felix muttered.

    ¡°Wait, you lost to him?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°No, of course not. I meant that got lucky coming fourth. I beat his ass handily in the second round. Yvessa beat him in the last. I can count at least three other people who gave me more trouble that he did, not counting Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°And how much trouble did Yvessa give you?¡±

    Felix tsked. ¡°I lost didn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Sure. But how close was it? What did your fight look like? That¡¯s what I want to know.¡±

    ¡°What do you care?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s what you¡¯re supposed to do with the other people in your sport, isn¡¯t it? Watch their games or fights or whatever, and make comments about how great they are and how much you learned from watching them compete. And that¡¯s just the real world. Don¡¯t get me started on fiction.¡±

    ¡°So you don¡¯t actually care, then?¡±

    ¡°I mean, I care so much as it relates to your interpersonal relationship, the social aspect of it and whatever. But no, I don¡¯t really care about what techniques you used, and what strategies you employed. I mean, what can I really learn from watching anyone fight at this point in my career?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d be surprised. I¡¯m willing to bet that if I showed you a video of two complete idiots fighting, you¡¯d get plenty out of it. You¡¯re good enough by now to recognize bad form and technique for what they are, which can help you better understand what not to do.¡±

    ¡°Did your fight have any bad form or technique?¡±

    ¡°Well there was the time I tried to pivot from a parry to throwing my spear and rushing at her, but that obviously ended up in abject failure.¡±

    ¡°To be fair,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°you only tried that because I had you up against the wall. And it might¡¯ve worked if you hadn¡¯t telegraphed it so much. It doesn¡¯t matter, because I think the honor for the biggest slip up of our fight goes to me.¡±

    ¡°I mean yeah, but that¡¯s because you forgot that it wasn¡¯t allowed, not because it was, necessarily, a bad move to make.¡±

    ¡°What move was that?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°She grabbed my spear.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°What? Why?¡± Sam asked. ¡°She didn¡¯t grab it by the point, right? So what¡¯s illegal about it?¡±

    ¡°It has to do with how magical combat works; as in tracing through weapons. Suffice to say that touching an opponent¡¯s weapon is not a habit that the academy wants to encourage amongst its pupils, so in our official physical combat rules, it¡¯s disallowed. But it is allowed in magical combat sparring, where the intricacies resulting from your action can be apparent.¡±Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

    ¡°But it¡¯s also allowed in Sarechi physical combat competitions,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Which is what I reverted to in the heat of the fight. Still, I¡¯m not arguing against it. Rules are rules. And I won regardless.¡±

    ¡°Yes, rub it in. Why don¡¯t you?¡± Felix sulked.

    ¡°So was her illegal move also spurred on by being pushed to the wall like your foolish one was?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t interested in the ins and outs of the fight.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not. I just want to know how close the fight was in order to better ascertain the social ramifications of it.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Just saw an opportunity to score and forgot that it wasn¡¯t allowed.¡±

    ¡°Interesting¡­ And by what difference did you say you won, again?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°It was only by a couple of points,¡± Felix said. ¡°So it was relatively close. Could¡¯ve gone either way at times.¡±

    ¡°Alright, alright.¡± Sam held up his hands. ¡°No need to get defensive. I was just wondering. So does that mean you¡¯re going back to your old regimen of spear-training, now that the tournament¡¯s over?¡±

    ¡°As opposed to keeping to the new one because I wasn¡¯t good enough and lost?¡±

    ¡°God. Silver medals are insufferable. If you lost, then where does that place the rest of the student body?¡±

    ¡°They also lost. Just more badly than me.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m betting if we pick up third place and ask them what they think about their results, they wouldn¡¯t say that.¡±

    ¡°Obviously. Everyone knows that people that come in third are happier than people that come in second.¡±

    ¡°Are you going back or not?¡±

    ¡°I am. The last weeks were just a concentrated effort for the tournament.¡±

    ¡°Proving Lin right? Or wrong? I wonder.¡±

    Felix shrugged and turned to Yvessa. ¡°Did you feel yourself improving throughout the tournament?¡±

    ¡°No. Did you?¡±

    ¡°Not during it. But that¡¯s understandable. I already fought a bunch of times against everyone who posed somewhat of a challenge to me in the tournament. I mean, you and I already spar with each other all the time. So obviously there¡¯s not really a whole lot we can learn from fighting each other in a tournament. But, I¡¯m sure even if I haven¡¯t improved as a result of the increased training before the tournament, that plenty of other people did. And that if we were fighting against people who we¡¯ve never met before, then we would definitely have had a lot to learn from them and thus improve during the tournament.¡±

    Sam laid the back of his hand against his head and, with a sigh, reclined backwards. ¡°That is too much information, are you trying to fry my imagination? Sum up your conclusion for me, please. Nice and orderly, as though I was an eight-grade teacher rating your essay about how to correctly write essays.¡±

    ¡°Lin is wrong.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ that reminds me: I forgot to ask Farris where he stands on the whole tournament debate. I¡¯d write him an email¡­ but I don¡¯t care about it all that much.¡±

    ¡°Did you ask him about teaching me spearfighting?¡±

    ¡°No, I forgot about that as well.¡±

    ¡°Again?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not my fault, alright? We had much more important stuff to talk about. Your time will come.¡±

    ¡°So what did you talk about?¡± Sarah asked.

    Sam gulped. ¡°Oh¡­ all sorts of things, really. The journey ahead of me... What Farris¡¯ role in it will be¡­ A bunch of other things. All on topic stuff, and pertaining to my development as an individual combatant, I assure you.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like either of you,¡± Yvessa remarked.

    ¡°Well I don¡¯t know what to tell you. And unlike my lesson with Lin, our conversation wasn¡¯t recorded, so you¡¯ll just have to take me at my word.¡±

    ¡°Did he really force someone to watch your training and report to him?¡± Sarah asked.

    Sam nodded. ¡°Two pensioners. Which I suppose makes it a little better.¡±

    ¡°Makes what better?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with having someone watching your combat training and reporting to him on it? People get paid much less for work that is just as boring but much more meaningless.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a very capitalistic view of the matter. What about the importance of human dignity? The equality of all living persons? The intrinsic value in each one of us which give to society? And the alienation created in individuals when they get treated as you are suggesting?¡±

    ¡°What about them?¡±

    ¡°Eh¡­ nothing much really. I was going to say that all these considerations are included in the free market. My only worry was that the military isn¡¯t necessarily such a free-market environment, but we can leave that debate well aside because the two pensioners are civilian contractors. The best of both worlds. God, I love the modern military-industrial complex.¡±

    ¡°What do you know about the modern military-industrial complex?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Not much yet, regrettably. But I do know that I will brook no complaint or criticism against it. Indeed, as no rational person should, for it is the sole bulwark standing before us and oblivion.¡±

    ¡°What about criticizing it for not doing enough?¡±

    ¡°Oh that¡¯s always allowed. It¡¯s not like you guys invented justified hawkishness. Si vis pacem para bellum, and all that jazz. Incidentally, we don¡¯t actually learn about the industrial side of the complex here, right?¡±

    ¡°It depends what you consider industrial,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Planes, trains and MBTs, artillery and rods from G. You know, things that go boom or make other things go boom and cost a lot to make.¡±

    ¡°So Terran Armaments, then?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I believe that is the naming convention most of these awesome weapons and combat inducers and enhancers have been relegated to.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°You already know that¡¯s what they¡¯re called. You just refuse to call them that.¡±

    ¡°Hey! If Felix is allowed one flaw in his personality in the form of believing all Terrans are inherently superior to every other race¡ª¡±

    ¡°I most certainly don¡¯t believe that.¡±

    ¡°than I¡¯m allowed to have this one tiny flaw of believing the weapons our forefathers slaved to invent and build are inherently cooler than any other form of weaponry there is. And that they should not be left at the wayside just because something more ¡®efficient¡¯ and ¡®good at killing¡¯ came along.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s literally what happened in all of human history,¡± Felix said. ¡°A new weapon comes along and makes the old one obsolete and those that don¡¯t adapt sink under the march of progress.¡±

    ¡°Hey! You leave the Yamato out of this! She died so that the United States could have more aircraft carries than all other nations in the world combined! And where are those aircraft carriers now, tell me? Where is the naval arm of God¡¯s most specially provisioned nation? Oh, just because we don¡¯t need a navy to fight the Epiraks means that we shouldn¡¯t have one? And don¡¯t get me started on the lamentable loss of the airforce.¡±

    ¡°I think you¡¯ve forgotten about your question in the midst of all this moaning and or making a joke.¡±

    Sam squinted in thought. ¡°Hm¡­ fair enough. We¡¯ll save moaning about the great artillery guns falling silent and the tanks stopping still to another day.¡±

    ¡°OK, so you obviously know about the formations imprinted on the artillery,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°Yeah, I read about that. I looked up Terran Armaments on Wikipedia one evening. Didn¡¯t make the end of the page, though.¡±

    ¡°Did you reach the part about artillery not being completely silent, but just silent enough to prevent brain damage?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ so? Obviously I¡¯m not pro brain-damage. I¡¯m just saying that if we could¡¯ve had the noise without the brain-damage¡­ that there¡¯s a discussion to be had there.¡±

    ¡°You hate noise,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Oh, undoubtedly. But I¡¯m not talking as Sam the would be combatant on the front lines. I¡¯m talking as Sam who still sees war as something that happens to other people and likes cool things like explosions and a shiny aerodynamic amalgamation of expensive material. So just to be clear, we don¡¯t get to study about those during the academy, right?¡±

    Felix snickered. ¡°Oh? You finally brought us back.¡±

    ¡°Someone had to do it. None of you were up to the task.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t study the use of Terran Armaments, no,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°With the exception of rifles, I guess, which do have an elective of sorts. Although, it¡¯s pretty much just a shooting range. There are electives about the tactics of using Terran Armaments in combat, two I think. But Dan is definitely not going to offer any of them to you.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s also the elective about logistics,¡± Felix added. ¡°It¡¯s for third-years only. It¡¯s a year long. And Dan is definitely not going to let you study it.¡±

    ¡°Are any of you going?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Hell no. When we reach a high enough position that we need to care about logistics, we¡¯ll have a junior staff to do that job for us.¡±

    ¡°Really starting to feel like we shouldn¡¯t be leaving this school as officers.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t. We only become officers after half a year of Military Training.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make it much better.¡±

    ¡°Relax, you¡¯re not going to be in command of anybody for a long time. Or ever. Just because you¡¯re an officer doesn¡¯t mean that you¡¯ll be in charge of anyone. Plenty of strong combatants, who aren¡¯t suited for command, serve under people weaker than them.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve heard it all before. But the truth of it is that if we climb high enough, we will have to end up in command. If, say, I end up the first and only Terran Chosen in a couple of years, then there¡¯s no way I¡¯m not given some form of majority control over the Terran military. And by that point, I¡¯d probably really appreciate it if the academy would¡¯ve taught me more about the fine art of waging war.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a fair point, Sam.¡± Yvessa nodded. ¡°I always thought that either the academy or the Military Training ought to be a year longer in order to touch more upon these aspects.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Felix came to the defense of the republic¡¯s military establishment, ¡°we do learn all sorts of ¡®officer¡¯ stuff here. And we learn a bunch more during Military Training.¡±

    ¡°Not enough in my opinion.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but we¡¯re not really training to be officers. We¡¯re training to be combatants. Becoming better fighters is the most important part of our education. Besides, the military does have plenty more education for people continuing down the road of command.¡±

    ¡°Yeah and how many of our Rulers partook in all facets of that extra education? Despite the fact that all of them are, at the very least, Lieutenant Generals? If the actual officer¡¯s training was universal across all academies and held to a minimum standard, we would still have the same number of powerful individuals, but there¡¯s a chance that those of them that end up in charge would be better suited for their new role.¡±

    ¡°Do you know what sort of education did Farris receive on the subject?¡± Sarah asked Sam.

    ¡°You¡¯re asking me?¡± Sam chuckled. ¡°Our understanding and knowledge of each other only extends one way, I¡¯m afraid. Still, as I understand it, he was basically slated for his position from birth. So he it¡¯s most likely that he received some education for his current role. Although, he also told me that even if he were completely inept as a commander, he would still hold his position by virtue of his strength and birth. So I don¡¯t know if we should really seek to emulate his ¡®success.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Of course we should,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°First, because Farris is far from an inept commander, so obviously, the education he received was worthwhile. And second, because it is the direct solution to the problem we are talking about: strong combatants being given high position without the appropriate training for it. Let¡¯s say that Farris got his education due to his birth, and his position because of his strength and birth. We only judge on strength, so we have to find some other way to decide who gets the appropriate education. So let¡¯s switch birth with, say, the talent a person displays at the age of eighteen. Do we really reach a bad method with which to evaluate whether we should train said person to be a commander as well as a combatant?

    ¡°Take you, for example, Sam. How much difference is there between you now and Farris and twelve? You¡¯re already being treated rather similarly, after all. With plenty of educational resources being spent on you. If we equate between your natural talent and Farris¡¯, we must reach the conclusion that our overall expectations for where you¡¯ll end up, military ladder-wise, are pretty much the same. If you¡¯re the most probable person to become the first Terran Chosen, or let¡¯s just say the strongest Terran Ruler, wouldn¡¯t that mean that you¡¯d most likely end up in as much in charge of the Terran military, as Farris is of the elven one?¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Yes¡­ I think I understand your point.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡± Felix asked. ¡°It didn¡¯t make a lick of sense to me.¡±

    ¡°Think about it just from the perspective of combat potential. If we know the person who has the most potential when they¡¯re our age, then we also know the person most likely to be the strongest Terran combatant in¡­ I don¡¯t know, a couple of years, right?¡±

    ¡°Sure. I guess.¡±

    ¡°And if we assume that the strongest Terran combatant will also receive an applicable high-ranking position because of his strength, then it¡¯s reasonable to assume that if they¡¯re so much stronger than any other Terran, that they would end up the highest ranking person in the Terran military. If that¡¯s the case, then we should be treating that person the same way the elves treated Farris. Not just training them up for personal strength, but also for being a military leader. So extrapolating from that logic, Yvessa¡¯s point is that we should be treating every cadet as such a person, because they all have the potential to end up the strongest Terran.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s some extrapolation.¡±

    ¡°Is it, though?¡± Yvessa shrugged. ¡°We can sit here and speak about talents and potential all day long and act as self assured about ourselves as humanely possible. But at the end of the day, what we can¡¯t claim is that there will be no one who currently seems ¡®less talented¡¯ than us, and could one day overcome us and end up as the strongest Terran. If that¡¯s the case, oughtn''t we treat every cadet as though they might end up in charge of the entire military, and teach them accordingly? Besides, as long as you accept my point that we four should be taught as Farris was, you must conclude the same for the general student body. After all, the academy can¡¯t just focus its officers¡¯ teachings on us ¡®talented¡¯ kids. We¡¯re all supposed to be receiving equal education here.¡±

    ¡°OK, let¡¯s say I agree with most of your claims so far,¡± Felix said, ¡°but I still don¡¯t agree with your conclusion. What about cadets who don¡¯t want to be officers at all? Or people who are wholly unsuited, for whatever reasons? We¡¯re going to have the academy reject them because of that, no matter what their combat potential might be? We could, of course, create two paths in the academy, following your suggestion, Yvessa. The regular path, and the extra year path that teaches more about being an officer. But, how are we going to determine who gets into which path? Because remember, you said that combat potential is the most important factor for becoming a leader in the future thus and needing that extra education. Which means that we return to the first problem I mentioned.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a problem,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°Our education isn¡¯t built to suit our needs and wants but the military¡¯s. We already study all sorts of stuff that we wouldn¡¯t necessarily want to if given the choice; you complain incessantly about some of the courses we have to take. And it¡¯s not like we¡¯re introducing a brand new subject. Both the academy and the Military Training have a certain amount of their education dedicated to an officer¡¯s education. All I¡¯m suggesting is that we increase that amount.

    ¡°Think about it this way. You might not like all the ¡®extra¡¯ stuff you¡¯re forced to learn here, and you might not retain even a tenth of it. But think how important could that tenth be if the person holding that knowledge is in a high enough position. And it¡¯s the undebatable truth that even the least tactically inclined and worst to command Rulers will still have some sort of power over decisions of that nature. Do you really think that we wouldn¡¯t have been better off if all of our Rulers had that extra year of education?¡±

    ¡°Provided they still managed to become Rulers after it,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t they?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. But you¡¯re adding an extra year to people¡¯s development. Who¡¯s to say they¡¯ll still come out as strong as they are now? For me, it¡¯s mostly a question of costs and benefits, which you¡¯ve just hand waved away. You can¡¯t be sure that having that extra year will make our Rulers better commanders while still just as strong. Or that it wouldn¡¯t have a detrimental effect on our military capabilities. You¡¯re basically adding another year to when the military starts getting some actual value out of us. And these are all the problems that still exist after, and if, we agree with your assumption that teaching cadets more about being an officer is something we should be doing.¡±

    Sam leaned in to whisper to Sarah. ¡°You see? This is what happens when I don¡¯t have a strong enough opinion on the subject the dictate the flow of the argument and decide upon its conclusion. Utter chaos. No one in agreement whatsoever.¡±

    ¡°Are you saying we ought to thank you for your ¡®sacrifice¡¯ of trying to have an opinion on everything?¡± Sarah whispered back.

    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m saying. Look at what they¡¯ve been reduced to.¡± He gestured towards Felix and Yvessa. ¡°Acting the argumentative idiots.¡±

    Felix rolled his eyes. ¡°And here comes the joke about us taking Sam¡¯s job or whatever.¡±

    ¡°Please. As if I would ever be so predictable.¡±

 Chapter 84

    ¡°So¡­¡± Sarah said once they started walking back towards their dorms, after finishing his last cardio workout for the week and bidding goodnight to Felix and Yvessa, ¡°how are you feeling going into tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Is this just your fancy way of asking if I¡¯m excited about tomorrow?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s my way of asking what I want to know without triggering you into another lecture.¡±

    ¡°Ha, I see. Well, you know what? I¡¯m feeling pretty psyched. I know I said it a couple of times already, but tomorrow¡¯s the real deal. Finally some real magic.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re still not counting anything you¡¯ve done up till now as magic?¡±

    ¡°You know I don¡¯t. What do I keep saying? If it can¡¯t create fire, it¡¯s not magic.¡±

    ¡°You keep saying that, but we both know how fundamentally wrong that is.¡±

    ¡°Look, I¡¯m just talking about the process of doing magic, alright? These are the facts: A. You can trace to create a flame. B. The moment that the creation of fire is possible in a magic system, any process of doing magic that can¡¯t directly lead to creating fire shouldn¡¯t be counted as real magic. C. Since only affecting tracings can lead to the creation of fire, and I haven¡¯t been doing any of those, only their preludes, I haven¡¯t been doing real magic.¡±

    ¡°How does that make sense? You need the foundational tracings so the affecting tracings that create fire will work.¡±

    ¡°So? I¡¯ve made the distinction of what magic is quite clear. The magical process that, through it, you can directly create fire. Foundational tracings might be required for that process to function, but as they themselves do not lead to creating fire, they are not counted as real magic.¡±

    ¡°Why not? That¡¯s completely arbitrary.¡±

    ¡°Is it? Is it arbitrary to decide that using your brain doesn¡¯t count as magic? Because that¡¯s a prerequisite to tracing itself. The point is, I¡¯ve built an internally consistent and logical system of what counts and doesn¡¯t count as real magic, and I get to decide the starting point. Nothing arbitrary about it.¡±

    ¡°Aside from the decision itself.¡± Sarah laughed.

    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t want to get into a debate with you about first cause or whatever. Cause I¡¯m not that familiar with the topic and as I¡¯m saying this, I¡¯m starting to realize that it¡¯s probably not the right one for the debate we¡¯re having. So let¡¯s just say that I used some sort of common sense to reach my conclusion about not having done any real magic up till now. And since no one in history has actually been able to define what common sense is, that means that I very well might¡¯ve used common sense.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have to remember that. For the next time you criticize something for not making any sense.¡±

    ¡°You are not allowed to do that. You should already be more than thankful that I¡¯m allowing you any sort of disagreement with me, my methods, or my insights. Now you want to use some of the things I said in the past against me? That¡¯s crossing the line.¡±

    ¡°So what? I can¡¯t bring up anything you said before?¡±

    ¡°Not if you¡¯re arguing against me. If you¡¯re sharing my point of view, go ahead, find all the evidence you might want in my past statements. But, if your opinion contradicts mine, then no, you¡¯re not allowed to bring up anything I might¡¯ve said in the past in order to prove me wrong. No matter what it is I said.¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t that leave me no room for argument eventually?¡±

    ¡°It sure will. That¡¯s what¡¯s so great about academia.¡±

    She lightly shoved him on the shoulder. ¡°Stop equating between academia and the idiotic practices you keep coming up with.¡±

    ¡°Why would I? Where do you think I¡¯ve come up with this so called, ¡®idiotic practices,¡¯ hmm? Would you call the academic crusade against plagiarism idiotic? Cause that¡¯s pretty much what you¡¯re challenging here.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯d ridiculous. I¡¯d say that you¡¯re greatly exaggerating, but that would allow some measure of truth to what you¡¯re saying.¡±

    ¡°Exaggerating, am I? Or I am simply so close to the uncomfortable truth that you refuse to see it?¡±

    ¡°As I said, neither. But let me ask you a question: how are all of your jokes about academia going to survive next year when you¡¯re going to have to take some courses that require writing an academic essay to pass?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Sam chuckled. ¡°Let¡¯s just say there¡¯s a reason I keep correcting you on your assumption of how long our friendship will last.¡±

    Sarah ignored him and cupped her chin as though in deep thought. ¡°I think what would be most annoying is that you¡¯ll probably have a much easier time with it than any of us.¡±

    ¡°You know what? I¡¯m not going to argue with that. You¡¯re probably right. I¡¯m not saying anything about the grades, but overall difficulty? Yeah, I¡¯m willing to give myself enough props to have that over you.¡±

    ¡°And your grades don¡¯t really matter as long as you pass. So you¡¯re really going to have it better than us in all aspects.¡±

    ¡°Now you can see how I reached my conclusion about our friendship, right?¡±

    ¡°Nah. You¡¯ll probably just end up helping Felix and Yvessa if they need it.¡±

    ¡°Not only is that not true. It¡¯s also not a rebuttal at all of my argument. ¡®Nah?¡¯ What does one have to do with the other?¡±

    ¡°Mine was still way closer to the truth than yours. So give it up.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. I¡¯m only twelve hours away from doing real magic. I don¡¯t have time to convince you of the futility of our acquaintance. See you tomorrow,¡±

    ¡°Goodnight, Sam.¡± Sarah bid him as they parted ways.

    And that was all for his social interactions of the day. Unless you were a maniac and counted dialogue between one and one¡¯s self as a social interaction. Not that he had much of that in the rushed evening. After his shower and meditation, his brain was uncharacteristically (although, it was becoming very common lately) outwards focused and devoid of any internal rambling and musing. This persisted all throughout the night as he quickly finished his patterns homework, a chapter of the Terran military structure textbook, switched to cultivating and finally finished with tracing practice until his core ran dry. Somehow, he even managed to avoid thoughts during his hour of leisure reading. The internal machinations of his mind did return, somewhat, between the time after he put his head and the e-reader down and the time he fell asleep. But they barely got started by the time he fell asleep. Somehow, his excitement for the following day didn¡¯t hinder his ability to fall asleep, most curious.

    He remarked to himself upon that fact after waking up and while brushing his teeth. Unfortunately, that train of thought persisted all the way through mediation, niggling and distracting him, but what can you do? And anyway, it was way better to be distracted by good thoughts than bad ones, even if both counted as the same hindrance to the meditation practice.

    ¡°Yep,¡± he said as he got up and into a stretch, ¡°it¡¯s nice to be able to fall asleep without trouble and wake up fully energized after a dreamless night. Say one thing for Web-Web, say they know how to calibrate a person for having a good night¡¯s sleep. Hm¡­ I have a couple of extra minutes. Might as well practice gathering for a little bit.¡± Sure, it was a slight waste of time, but he really didn¡¯t feel like practicing his tracing, considering what the rest of the day promised.

    Then it dawned on him. And that idiom about a whimper instead of a bang was never more appropriate. ¡°Huh. Wonder how easy a time falling asleep I would¡¯ve had if I had known this would happen today.¡± He peered into his metaphysical self once again, focusing on his right heel. His core was still there, of course, just not in the same static position as before. Now, it was all throughout his body, comfortably letting him access the storage for his magical energy from any point he focused on. It seemed that his mind finally got used to having a core.

    ¡°It¡¯s weird¡­ It doesn¡¯t feel weird, it feels totally natural. But it¡¯s still weird¡­ Weird. Oh well, guess I better get used to it. At the very least, it should shorten my seeking time by a bit. So the faster I get used to it, the better.¡± He looked at the time. Gathering for even a single cycle would be cutting it close. So he might as well gather for two. Save Dan the micro second needed to fill up that amount for him.

    ¡°Besides, doesn¡¯t every boy going through metaphysical changes deserve a little bit of leeway to being on time in order to get used to those changes?¡± Was the question he posed to Sarah, trying to explain why he was late coming down.

    ¡°You¡¯re allowed to be late sometimes.¡± She shook her head with a laugh and started walking. ¡°You don¡¯t have to convince me.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about? I¡¯m late to dinner all the time.¡±

    ¡°So why did you never bother making any excuses before?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ it¡¯s different, I guess. It¡¯s you three waiting on me instead of just you alone. Most days, at least. And you¡¯re able to carry out your principal reason for the meeting while waiting for me, namely eating. So I¡¯m wasting less of your time in that way. Also, this one was a result of my conscious decision to knowingly be late and, much more importantly, without the approval stamp of a tenured personage.¡±

    ¡°Will it make you feel better if I¡¯ll be the same amount of late to meet up with you on Sunday morning, then?¡±

    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t make me feel better. And you¡¯re not going to do it anyway, so that¡¯s a moot point. Just say that you accept my reasoning and you¡¯re happy about my magical development.¡±

    ¡°Sam, I accept your reasoning for being late, and I¡¯m happy about your magical development. Congratulations on getting used to your core.¡±

    ¡°Thanks. Next stop being able to access it without focusing on my body at all.¡±

    ¡°Eh, it¡¯s not all that it¡¯s cracked up to be.¡±

    ¡°What? You¡¯re not there yet, are you?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. You need an ethereal core in order to do that. But Maurice told me about it. It¡¯s basically just a neat trick that you can only show to yourself and only the people who can pull off the same thing will understand what it feels like. Although, I suppose that it might come in handy during the heat of battle. If you¡¯re already swamped by a million other things and can¡¯t afford the tiny effort required to look inwards. But anyway, the real next step for your core that you should be looking forward to is getting it to fragmented. That¡¯s something that will actually have a noticeable effect on your training and since I¡¯m sure it will take you shorter than average, I want to use it for my arguments about your talents.¡±

    ¡°Sure, but as much as I¡¯d like to beat Felix¡¯s ¡®record,¡¯ even if it means giving you and everyone else some actual ammunition for a change, it¡¯s just like with me getting used to the core; there¡¯s not much I can do to make the change arrive faster. As long as I¡¯m not putting my hand¡ªmind¡ªto active muddling.¡±

    ¡°The problem is time. If you had more time, then I¡¯m sure Dan would¡¯ve already scheduled you for some muddling training, even with the very significant drawbacks. But as it is, you¡¯re right, not much you can directly do about the state of your core right now.¡±

    ¡°If I had more time, then there wouldn¡¯t have been any reason for me to care about getting to fragmented all that much.¡±

    ¡°True. And anyway, you already cultivate a whole lot which is the next best thing for getting to fragmented. Which reminds me, are you already used to¡ª¡±

    ¡°Well well well,¡± Felix said while crossing his hands and swooping down upon them, ¡°finally bothered to show up, have we? Who¡¯s to blame for this great affront to my, and the lady Smith¡¯s, person? Is it you, Sam? Or is it you, Sarah? Taking the blame for Sam?¡±

    ¡°It was Sam,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°And she¡¯s already forgiven me for it.¡± Sam nodded. ¡°So give it up. Plus, we¡¯re not that late.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not the guy who has a whole ethical theory dedicated to the importance of being on time,¡± Felix rebutted.

    ¡°Clearly not. But might I point out that us standing out here talking doesn¡¯t help your argument that us being late is a grave wrong?¡±

    ¡°After you, then.¡± Felix half-bowed and pivoted his torso so that he could start walking into the gym before and ahead of Sam.

    ¡°Why were you late anyway?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I had some extra time in the morning, and didn¡¯t feel like practicing tracing, so I turned to gathering. Then I realized that my core finished it¡¯s¡­ sedentary phase. So I got carried away a little getting used to the change.¡±

    ¡°Oh? Congratulations. That¡¯s two major advancements in a single day, then. Even you have to be happy with today.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean? Oh! Right. The tracing. Wow, I completely forget about it. Yeah, you¡¯re absolutely right. Two distinct improvements in my magical self, in both meanings of the word. If all goes well, then today will definitely go down as great in my book. If I had a book, that is.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m willing to bet that you¡¯d still be able to find something to complain about today,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°Oh, no doubt. There¡¯s always going to be some distance between one¡¯s ideal and, more importantly, practical ideal version of reality and one¡¯s perception of it, which allows one to undertake honest complaining. But, I will most likely not be complaining about anything to do with my magic or rate of progress today because of that practical version of my ideal world. Still, if you¡¯re so concerned about missing my bellyaching, I¡¯m more than happy to slot you in for an hour or two of moaning about¡­ I don¡¯t know, pop-culture maybe, I¡¯ll think of something.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll get back to you on that.¡±

    After they finished warming-up and as they each split into the four cardinal directions, Sarah stopped Sam. Holding him by the shoulder, she said, ¡°Sam, you¡¯re not going to try gathering while working out, right? I realize that you¡¯re excited about this new development, but you¡¯re still not at the point where you can efficiently, and safely, gather while exercising.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m well aware of that. And I promised to await Dan¡¯s permission and to do the first week under your supervision, didn¡¯t I? You can trust me to keep my promises, you know?¡±

    ¡°So no gathering while working out, then?¡±

    ¡°None.¡±

    ¡°And what about rushing through the workout to get more time to gather until we all finish?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I haven¡¯t thought about that.¡±

    ¡°Sam.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try not to. But that¡¯s a tall order, you realize? No one can truly know, let alone control, the labyrinthine intricacies of their mind, and how their mind dictates their actions. The best I can do is try.¡±

    ¡°Just try your best and we won¡¯t have any problems.¡±

    ¡°You got it, chief.¡± Sam saluted. ¡°One regular old workout coming your way. I¡¯m not even going to think about gathering.¡± He did think about gathering, of course, but not in the active immediate sense of the verb to which he was referring to, so he counted that as a promise well kept. Instead, he thought about it from a conceptual perspective. What did it mean to gather into his core, now that his core was body-wide?

    He wasn¡¯t even sure that it was a conceptual difference, and not a technical one. After all, the concept of what his core was and where it was ¡°really¡± located didn¡¯t change. The only thing that changed was Sam¡¯s perception of his core and his ability to access it. But leaving aside how that change worked and to what scientific field that question belonged to for another day, was there any actual metaphysical change in Sam, in the nature of his magic itself? Or rather, was the change truly only epistemic, and the only thing that changed was Sam¡¯s perception of his metaphysical self?

    Finding the correct answer to that dilemma wasn¡¯t all that important to Sam, so he didn¡¯t bother including any of the other three in it. It was mostly a mental puzzle, one meant to entertain. Of course, if the answer had any actual bearing on Sam¡¯s strength and thus his ultimate goal, his friends would¡¯ve been forced to entertain his inquisition on the subject. But as it were, he knew that¡ªfor now, at least, if not forever¡ªboth question and answer were irrelevant to his progress. Which was really nice. He didn¡¯t have a lot of opportunities to just think about magic in abstract philosophical terms up till now. Not to say that magic wasn¡¯t sometimes very abstract, but it had always led to a clear and definite answer in his studies so far (although, sometimes he wasn¡¯t privy to what that answer was).

    Yeah, this is nice. Just wondering about the nature of magic itself without being worried about not knowing or understanding the answer. Hm¡­ should I take the course on the philosophy of magic? Fuck¡­ I really wish I could. But I doubt I¡¯d have time for any elective that isn¡¯t completely directed at making me a better fighter. Although¡­ what was the joke I told Felix one time? That it might turn out that philosophy in the key to understanding how magic works and reaching the highest levels of power? Nah, I¡¯m pretty sure that I shouldn¡¯t wish for that joke to be real. I like philosophy well enough, but I¡¯m far away from being a good philosopher. Those guys are¡­ a whole other league and way too much anyway.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    Still¡­ He shrugged both physically and mentally as he sat down to wait for his friends. I¡¯d like to see what other people think of the subject of the core. And again, can I honestly say that it¡¯s actually metaphysical in the classic philosophical terminology? After all, magic is real. So just because the core is not physical in the sense of being spatially located at one point, it doesn¡¯t mean that it¡¯s not physical in the sense of existing and corresponding to the actual physical world. It clearly is. Maybe there isn¡¯t really a philosophy of magic. But rather it¡¯s like physics, treated as philosophy before we make some grand discovery about how things really work. That¡¯s what threads are, no?

    Fuck, enough of that. He shook his head as he sat down to wait for his friends outside of the gym. Time to focus. He dithered for a moment or two, caught between the utilitarian usage of his time in practicing tracing and what he really wanted to do, which was practice gathering with his new perception. Gathering won out in the end. After all, he had already made that choice today when the scales leaned less towards gathering. He was quickly getting used to the new state of his senses, but he still judged himself as having some more adapting to do by the time he was brought out of focus by Felix¡¯s tapping on his shoulder.

    ¡°I wonder if I should ask Dan to train a little in gathering today instead of waiting for Sunday,¡± he confided as they all started walking towards the mess hall. ¡°You know, just to have his feedback on whether there¡¯s any glaring missteps in my method.¡±

    ¡°There wouldn¡¯t be any, but go ahead,¡± Felix said. ¡°What¡¯s the worst that could happen? You¡¯ll be late again?¡±

    ¡°Good point. I¡¯ll ask him what he thinks. Worst-case scenario, I¡¯ll just message you guys to eat without me.¡±

    ¡°Eat without you? Hm¡­ what a novel idea. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯ll run, though.¡±

    ¡°Sarah, thoughts?¡±

    She sighed. ¡°Tell us if you¡¯re running late. Later than usual, I should say. And by how much. We¡¯ll see from there. Wondering about it now doesn¡¯t serve any purpose. And, just to be clear, I¡¯d have said the same thing about any one of us being late¡­ Just putting it out there.¡±

    ¡°Damn¡­ why¡¯d you have to go and word it like that? Now you¡¯ve got my mind running back to the gutter.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°What you said about wondering not serving any purpose. Now I¡¯m stuck in my head again. Thank you very much.¡±

    ¡°Again, what the hell are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know if you guys realized it, but I¡¯ve been rather withdrawn during the workout.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I saw it.¡± Felix nodded. ¡°I just thought that you were gathering.¡±

    ¡°Well I wasn¡¯t. But I was thinking about gathering. Specifically, about whether there were any real changes in my magic, my core, and how they come together when I¡¯m gathering, or whether the only thing different was my perception of those things.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Yeah, thinking about that stuff is a total waste of time. You¡¯re right.¡±

    ¡°No it¡¯s not!¡± Yvessa objected. ¡°It might be a very complicated and advanced topic without any straightforward answer. But the topic itself is worthwhile.¡±

    ¡°Wait, there is an answer to what the core is and how our perception of it changing works?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Not an answer, per se. But there are a couple of reasonable theories explaining it.¡±

    ¡°Oh? What are they?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Like I said, it¡¯s advanced stuff.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°It¡¯s not advanced, it¡¯s just not worth it. What does it matter what the core really is? What matters is understanding how it works and how to use it best. And that¡¯s just training in gathering and tracing, none of that wondering about whether it exists independently of us or not.¡±

    ¡°How could it possibly exist independently of us?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know one way or the other. I don¡¯t waste my time learning about that crap. There¡¯s the theory of magic. That¡¯s important, and I¡¯d be the first one in line to admit its importance. And then there¡¯s the whole theory of the theory of magic, the kind of stuff that you like. Normal people obviously don¡¯t care about that stuff. And us soldiers don¡¯t need to know about that because it doesn¡¯t have anything to do with combat strength, which is why they don¡¯t teach us about it.¡±

    ¡°You know, the line between important magical theory and the ¡®theory of theory¡¯ you¡¯ve termed so crudely sounds pretty arbitrary.¡± Sam winked at Sarah, who rolled her eyes.

    ¡°Absolutely not. Just examine a piece of information about magic, alright? Does knowing it make you, or can make you, a better fighter? If not, and if it doesn¡¯t have any other practical uses, then why not consign it to the wastebin as worthless? At least from the perspective of us as combatants.¡±

    ¡°How do you know that it¡¯s worthless?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Ugh, not you too?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just asking. I don¡¯t have any horse in the race so far.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. Not having an opinion at all is more in-line with my opinion if you really think about it.¡±

    ¡°If you really think about it,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°you still haven¡¯t answered her question.¡±

    ¡°Yeah well¡­ now it¡¯s too late,¡± Felix said and raced ahead to grab a tray and make his meal.

    That didn¡¯t help him much, because a little later they were once again reunited, and Yvessa reissued her challenge. ¡°I can understand not bothering with these kinds of questions because we have a lot of other stuff to focus on and there might not be clear-cut answers to them,¡± she said. ¡°I can understand not bothering with it all, if they do indeed have no value for combat purposes. But to just dismiss them as worthless? That sounds ridiculous to me. Do you honestly think that understanding, really intimately understanding, what the core is and how it works overall, doesn¡¯t have any significance for a person¡¯s understanding and ability to use magic?¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s to say that it does?¡± Felix shrugged. ¡°None of us truly understand the basic underlying fabric of how magic works. None of us besides Sam can even possibly understand it any time soon. Assuming threads really are the most basic element of magic and there isn¡¯t something even more basic. But even if we could, even if thinking about those kinds of questions, and learning about their answers gave us a better understanding of magic, so what? You said it yourself: if it doesn¡¯t have any combat applications, what good is it for us? Only if it helps us better understand magic and only if that new understanding can make us stronger, only then is it worthwhile to bother with studying that crap. And at the very least, you can¡¯t argue that for us now, it¡¯s not worthwhile.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s close to what I was thinking.¡±

    ¡°What? No it isn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°It absolutely is. I distinctly remarked to myself how nice it is to have a question which was magical in nature but that I didn¡¯t have to know the answer to it and I¡¯m allowed to just wonder about it and come at it from all sorts of different angles. My assumptions was that if the knowledge of how exactly the core corresponds with the body was so important, then someone would¡¯ve started me on that subject by now. The only difference between my position and yours is that while we both don¡¯t think the subject is important, I do think it¡¯s worthwhile thinking about it. By the way, it is positively invigorating to finally be at, roughly, the same level as you guys on a given magical subject. Even if that means me not getting a definite answer to my questions on the subject.¡±

    Sarah laughed. ¡°To be fair, they might still have more knowledge than you about this subject. But they didn¡¯t have a chance to present you with it because they were too busy arguing about the act of talking about the subject.¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you give him an answer, then?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have one. But we could have a healthy debate on the topic if you¡¯re willing. We can even involve empirical data on it by starting with the question of what determines when people get used to their core.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just trying to see whether Sam got used to his before I did to mine. Well, you¡¯re shit out of luck. I don¡¯t remember how long it took me.¡±

    Sarah shrugged. ¡°Wasn¡¯t my intention and I doubt we would¡¯ve reached any conclusion anyway. There are too many variables to account for. I was just using that as an example to show that the questions that arise from the subject aren¡¯t just abstract philosophy, that the answer to them, and the ramifications of each answer, are rooted in the real world.¡±

    ¡°Not necessarily, though,¡± Sam said. ¡°Even if we had all the relevant data, and we accounted for all the variables, there is a version of the answer to your question that wouldn¡¯t be dependent on that data. If, say, that aspect of magic is really¡­ magical, for a lack of a better word, and it¡¯s all up to some sort of quantum chance with no underlying cause, then all the empirical knowledge in the world won¡¯t help us reach the correct predictive model.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s definitely a possibility. It¡¯s also possible that we would simply require a deeper level of empirical knowledge or understanding. That there is an underlying cause to the phenomenon, but it requires data that we currently have no ability to collect nor interpret.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ it all comes back to the problem of first cause. I think. Does magic have an initial beginning from which all its later effects and causations stem? And I should probably also be a good Kantian by wondering if even were that first cause real, would we be able to know it? Or is magic just is? And the most basic stuff, like the core and its interaction with our body, doesn¡¯t have any explanation. I¡¯m assuming that the core itself can¡¯t be the first cause because of all the business with the threads seemingly being more basic than it, but maybe it can. Maybe the core and the threads are two distinct phenomena that interact with each other but don¡¯t derive themselves one from another.¡±

    ¡°Maybe this entire conversation really was worthless because you¡¯ve just walked in circles without even trying to answer the question you started with,¡± Felix said.

    ¡°C¡¯mon Felix. This is some good philosophizing. Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re not having fun.¡±

    ¡°I am not having fun. Either Yvessa¡¯s right, and this stuff is important, worthwhile or whatever, for us to know about eventually, but it isn¡¯t now because it¡¯s too advanced for us. In which case, we¡¯ve just been wasting our time talking about it, as we¡¯re lacking the required knowledge to really discuss it and we¡¯re basically just making shit up. Or I¡¯m right, and this stuff really doesn¡¯t matter. In which case, talking about it will always be worthless.¡±

    ¡°Or, counterpoint. We were having fun talking about it. And since that¡¯s the major reason for us socially interacting during meals. That makes the discussion the complete opposite of a waste of time.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the only one having fun here.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m having fun,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Me too.¡± Yvessa smiled at Felix. ¡°And doubly so because you seem to have such a miserable time. You do realize that so far in the day, Sam hasn¡¯t uttered a single complaint and you¡¯ve just been continuously moaning?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Felix pursed his lips and looked upwards in consideration. ¡°By God, you¡¯re right. This is awful! Is this what¡¯s it like to live through a happy day for Sam? Are we all cosigned to misery in order to bring him joy?¡±

    ¡°Just you.¡±

    ¡°Well I won¡¯t have it! Sam won¡¯t have it. There is nothing moral about trading one person¡¯s suffering for another joy.¡±

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°OK, first of all, don¡¯t get me started about that aspect of utilitarianism, because I will get into it and then I¡¯m definitely, probably, going to be the only one who¡¯s having fun. And secondly, my joy today, if it does indeed exist, doesn¡¯t stem one whit from your suffering, nor from the activity which caused your so-called suffering.¡±

    ¡°Also,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°you¡¯ve contributed probably the lion¡¯s share of this debate. If anyone¡¯s at fault here, it¡¯s you.¡±

    Felix shook his head. ¡°First off, I don¡¯t agree with that claim whatsoever. But it doesn¡¯t matter, because I wasn¡¯t saying that anyone was at fault for my suffering. I simply remarked upon its existence and wondered about the coincidence of it coexisting with my good friend having a grand old time.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t help but notice that you didn¡¯t try to argue with my claim about you being to blame and moved right on to no one being to blame.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t help but notice that just because I didn¡¯t present any evidence to refute your ridiculous claim, that doesn¡¯t mean that I believe it has any merit.¡±

    ¡°And I can¡¯t help but notice,¡± Sam said, ¡°that in true ¡®the four of us¡¯ fashion, we spent more time talking about the act of talking about the topic, then about the topic itself¡­¡±

    ¡°Was that a complaint?¡±

    ¡°Nope. Just an observation. I told you already, I was having fun thinking about this stuff because I¡¯m not worried about getting to the bottom of it, nor do I care if the discussion is circular and hasn¡¯t brought us anywhere. In my eyes, this has all been time well spent.¡±

    ¡°This before Yvessa asks, ¡®How can you be sure that it¡¯s not important to get to the bottom of it?¡¯ Circular indeed.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to say that,¡± Yvessa argued. ¡°I agree with Sam. Right now, it¡¯s not important for any one of us to find the truth of the matter. All I said is that it might be important in the future, so thinking about it now can¡¯t be a waste of time.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. Let¡¯s change the subject then. Sam, which of the practice tracing do you think will be the hardest for you to train in?¡±

    ¡°Dude¡­ why are you doing this to yourself? You already embarked upon pivoting the conversation. Why pivot it to me?¡±

    ¡°I figured the odds of a successful pivot were higher that way.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t buy it. You¡¯re just a hopeless masochist. And obviously Skin reinforcement will be the hardest. Everyone knows that it¡¯s way more difficult than the rest.¡±

    ¡°Tsk! Since when do you know stuff that everyone knows?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been eight weeks, man. At this point, you have to assume that I have a relatively good chance of knowing the most common of common knowledge. At least when it pertains to the subjects I¡¯ve been studying.¡±

    ¡°They grow up so fast, don¡¯t they?¡± Felix asked Sarah while wiping a dry tear from his eye.

    ¡°Shut up.¡± She laughed.

    What remained of Sam¡¯s breakfast was just about over at this point, so he excused his early parting by saying that it was for the purpose of not being late for dinner. A short walk later and he was sitting in Dan¡¯s office, telling him about the recent changes in his magical body (or the recent magical changes in his body?). They ended up practicing gathering (and cultivating, of course, since it would¡¯ve been a waste of time otherwise) for about an hour. After which, Sam felt confident in saying that he had completely gotten used to the perception of his core. No discussion was held about what the state of his core really was.

    ¡°Alright,¡± Dan said while rubbing his hands, ¡°we¡¯ll do just tracing for today as well. But we¡¯ll be back to the regular schedule next week. As for the overall schedule, we¡¯ll probably spend two to three weeks on these practice tracings. But even after we move on to magical foundational, we¡¯ll still spend at least a third of our tracing sessions on these practice tracings. All in all, I think that in about four to five weeks, you¡¯ll be ready to start on recovery tracings. Unfortunately, not in time for your next workout regimen change, but you¡¯ll be more than ready for the one after that.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I already figured as much. And it¡¯s not like the moment that we start on recovery tracings I¡¯ll be able to make use of them, much less effective use of them. Still, you won¡¯t be able to discourage me that easily. We¡¯re finally starting on real magic today, so if you will?¡±

    Dan chuckled. ¡°So the first practice tracing we¡¯re going to go over is Night Vision. The tracing is relatively simple, since it only needs to mimic a pre-existing physical process. And it¡¯s very easy to verify that you¡¯ve successfully traced it. So let¡¯s go over it.¡±

    Dan was right. The tracing wasn¡¯t all that difficult. Conceptually, at least. Practically, it still took him a couple of hours until he was able to trace Night Vision at a level approaching consistency. And that was only when he traced it after a Prior Physical Foundational. Dan wasn¡¯t kidding when he said that Posterior Foundational tracings were much more difficult than prior. It was a double-headed monster. Not only were the modifications necessary for Sam to trace Night Vision Posterior much more difficult, but the tracing as a whole was also more difficult. When he traced Prior Night Vision, it felt like two distinct tracings which allowed him to focus on each one separately. Tracing it before Posterior Physical, however, was like doing one complex tracing. Which was obviously the point. If people could only use prior foundational tracings, they would. But many affecting tracings were practically useless if done that way. So even though Night Vision was not such a tracing, he had plenty of reason to practice it both ways.

    In addition to Night Vision, Dan also started him on another practice tracing near the end the very same Friday lesson: Basic Enhancement. It was a catchall tracing. A step above just having effectless magic flowing through your physical body, but still many steps below any tracing that provided a tangible difference for combat. Still, Basic Enhancement was the basis for many of those tracings, and Dan did show him one noticeable effect from it. A marginally elevated heartbeat, provided the heart was where you traced to. Of course, there was also the much more noticeable magical effect, which made Basic Enhancement doubly important as a practice tracing. When he successfully traced Basic Enhancement into a part of his body, he was still able to sense, although not control, the magic there until it disappeared. That was in contrast to just tracing pure magic into his body, where the moment he completed the foundational tracing and the energy left his pathway, he could no longer feel it.

    Tracing practice on Sunday the following week carried on the same, but by Monday, they switched to mostly focusing on Basic Enhancement. Dan decided that Sam was proficient enough in Night Vision (with both foundational tracings) to only give him only an hour to practice with it. The same could not be said for his skills with Basic Enhancement, unfortunately. For while the difference in complexity between tracing through Prior or Posterior Physical wasn¡¯t that significant, it was joined by yet another difficulty variable: where Sam traced to. Night Vision only had the eyes to trace to, so only two modifications were necessary to learn in order to master it. Basic Enhancement, however, was body wide. Sure, the differences between the tracings were minute, but small as they were, they piled up and were joined by the differences of which foundational tracing Sam used.

    So it was no surprise to Sam that it took until Thursday for another practice tracing to enter the picture. Three tracings, technically. The basic tracing and the two that built upon it: increase or decrease in temperature. These two (or three) really were the epitome of practice tracings, for they had no use outside of practicing them. Using them, Sam could only change the temperature of the affected body part by a maximum of two degrees Celsius. Which was just as well, since he didn¡¯t have any tracing or pattern to protect his body from the ramifications of turning his finger hot enough to boil water. All in all, it seemed to Sam that these two tracings were easier than Basic Enhancement. Maybe they were, because even though the basic form might¡¯ve been more complex, you didn¡¯t need to modify it depending on where in your body you traced to. Maybe they weren¡¯t, and he simply got better. Or maybe both were true (the former certainly was).

    Be that as it may, by Friday, he was getting close enough to reaching a very high consistency in Basic Enhancement from a body-wide average (his limbs had the best success rate while his brain, understandably, had the worst) and he had surpassed that consistency with the temperature change tracings. So Dan decided to introduce two new practice tracings at the same time. And this time, they were indeed two distinct tracings: Sensations Suppressor, also called (mostly in the republic) Nerves Deadener. And Basic Increased Metabolism, a tracing which was already building upon Basic Enhancement.

    They both did just as the name suggested, although the Nerves Deadener was much more complex in his eyes (Sam wasn¡¯t sure whether that was because of the tracing itself or because he was already very familiar with most parts of Basic Increased Metabolism). It also had the much more apparent effect. Not being able to feel someone touching him was very noticeable; potentially burning two more calories than usual was not. Of course, the benefit of each tracing was exactly the opposite. Basic Increased Metabolism was important for many other tracings and patterns, least of all the ones that helped you lose weight without doing anything. The Nerves Deadener tracing wasn¡¯t of any help to Sam with the only place he could think of: working out. It was too narrowly focused. Still, it was not just a practice tracing without any practical use. The more advanced versions of it did offer a combat application. One that Sam hopefully will never be in need of.

    By Monday the following week, the two temperature change tracings were relegated to the same one hour time slot as Night Vision. By Tuesday, Dan judged him proficient enough to introduce the penultimate practice tracing into the mix. Magical Coating. And this one was really easy. Functionally, it was pretty much a companion to Basic Enhancement, only instead of interacting with Sam¡¯s body it just used the magic to cover his body (or, more accurately, body parts, since he had nowhere near enough energy to coat his whole body).

    Of course, just like Basic Enhancement, it was one of the most basic tracings, right at the bottom of the pyramid. And one step up was Skin Reinforcement, which Sam started training in just two days later, on Thursday. Trying and failing (and only trained through a Prior Physical as Skin Reinforcement Posterior was apparently much too complex to be a ¡°practice tracing¡±). And then trying again. And failing again. At which point it was time for lunch (they were ahead in magical theory, so the day was, once again, dedicated to just tracing practice). Then he tried for half an hour more, and he almost got it at one point. But he didn¡¯t. So they moved on and back to practice with the other tracings. With Dan reassuring Sam that it was more than normal for him to have trouble with Prior Skin Reinforcement, and that he already expected beforehand that it would take Sam some days to pick it up. That didn¡¯t do much to cheer up Sam, of course. Because when has someone saying, ¡°it¡¯s OK, it happens to everyone,¡± ever did?

    What very much did cheer up Sam, however, was what happened at exactly an hour and seventeen minutes before his bedtime. He didn¡¯t let his repeated failures throughout the day discourage him and break his newly developed habit, so once he finished with his cultivation for the day, he moved on to practicing his tracing. And the session started out great. Every tracing was a success. From tracing Prior Night Vision to tracing Posterior Nerves Deadener on the tip of his right index finger. And since he still had some energy left in his core, he decided to throw caution to the wind and risk going to sleep with the sense of abject failure ringing in his mind. And he did fail on the first try. Second as well. But, would you believe it, he succeeded in tracing Prior Skin Reinforcement on the third try. And that wasn¡¯t the extent of his luck, for by that point, his core was almost dried up, so he couldn¡¯t even try for a fourth time and risk his uplifted mood.

    He went to sleep that night with a bright smile on his face. He thought about letting his success ring wide in the group chat, letting his friends share in his jubilation, but decided against it. They¡¯ll have to wait until tomorrow in order to share in his joy. And they¡¯ll have more than enough suffering to go through as a result of the outpouring of happiness from Sam. Yep, I just know it. Tomorrow¡¯s going to be a great day. I¡¯m going to have to come up with a joke about how this always happens on Friday for me and Felix to riff off of tomorrow.

    But maybe some things never change. Maybe some things that were true and constant in Sam¡¯s old life back on Earth, held just the same even in his new life and new reality. Perhaps because Sam¡¯s luck ran supreme on Thursday, and his mood was lifted high up, they both had to crash down on Friday. The answer didn¡¯t matter to Sam, because on Friday morning, the effect of magic on his mind had run out, and nothing seemed to matter anymore.

 Chapter 85

    Sam woke up from a dream. Sam woke up from a dream. He woke up from a fucking dream! The realization crashed upon his mindscape before his mindscape even came into view. His dreams were back; with them, everything else. Most important of all, the immutable confidence, the surety, that he who was who he had always been. And wasn¡¯t that just the worst way to start the day?

    He laid still on the bed, willing his brain to slowly lurch into cognizance, to try and organize all of his errant thoughts, feelings, and interpretations into a coherent mode of consciousness. He couldn¡¯t do it. He couldn¡¯t even gather the will necessary to stretch his hand and silence the ringing alarm.

    The seconds passed in agonizing listlessness, and still nothing changed. Nothing came to mind, maybe because it seemed like everything was already there. Hopes and dreams, displayed in the grandeur of their successes before shattering into the abyss of his failures. A million different lines of anxiety, each worming at each other and baying at his worth. Shock, trauma, fear, loss, anger, sadness, all coalescing into a malignant overpowering cloud of righteous depression. There was good there too: friends, fun, pride, purpose, care, mingling with everything else, winning some fights, losing most others. But out of all of those, only one thought that had any semblance of coherence to it.

    Dreams. He was back to having dreams. And while he still couldn¡¯t fully comprehend the meaning of that fact, he hated it with all of his being.

    A sudden spark, an instinctive call to action, and without realizing it, he had silenced the majority of the outside world. Then he was back to inaction, to staring upwards at the ceiling without meaning, with no light of awareness shining behind his eyes. But, as is often the case, one action soon begat another, and the first mental command gave rise to a second, just as unguided as its predecessor. Sam burst into tears. Tears without meaning, tears without purpose, crying because that seemed to be the only course of action that his mind could decide upon without his input.

    All the while, steadfast in its vividness, the mental focus on his returning dreams; the slowly dawning certainty of what that meant.

    He hadn¡¯t stopped crying by the time the first of his mental faculties started back up. The crying was basic, instinctual. It wasn¡¯t Sam¡¯s agency that directed his hollow weeping. It wasn¡¯t even the confluence of his pent-up emotions coming out into view. His entire being was crying. Everything that made Sam, Sam, forced his body to break out in salt and snot. And he was barely even conscious of it.

    All of his meagre mental resources were directed at the simple mechanical task of sitting up straight. The physical act passed in an instant, almost identical to its usual speed, but his clouded perception made its duration seem almost like a slow-motion dream. But it wasn¡¯t a dream. His dreams might¡¯ve been back, but he was more than certain that he left them behind him for now. From that certainty, he managed to gather the will for yet another action. Turning left, he put his feet on solid ground.

    And still he was crying. And still he was waiting. Waiting without knowing he was waiting. Waiting for the haze to pass and for his consciousness to rise back into focus. For his awareness to start spreading from only knowing that he was awake to being able to service his waking self. Another moment passed without any change, his mind still unharnessed, his body still motionless, his thoughts and emotions still a whirling mess, and his tears still flowing freely. Another moment with no change, no direction, no reason, just oblivion.

    A moment later and there was a change, a new direction, the first semblance of reason¡¯s return. However, he was still not back to acting consciously, to thinking rationally, to actively directing his body and his mind. The unpenetrable mental fog was still there, still obscuring everything. It prevented Sam from understanding why he started walking towards the shower, why he was slowly undressing between each slumbering stride. It only allowed Sam to know that he was doing those things. To notice each of the steps he was taking towards the bathroom, that he was fully unclothed by the time he stepped in, that he turned on the hot water and laid his head against the wall.

    And then, as the warm current, dripping by the sides of heads and through the small gap between his forehead and the wall, slowly intermixed with his unconsciousness tears, Sam Anders, in a flash, was back, for good and for bad. His mind was still filled with rambling thoughts and overwhelming emotions, joining and breaking in a chaotic dance that left no room for internalization. His body was still working on instinct, still crying its heart out. Rationality, still clouded and rudderless. Not fully back to himself, but back to himself still.

    So, obviously, that was when his measured weeping turned into a full-blown bawling. Which, in turn, led to him collapsing on the shower¡¯s floor and curling into himself, hands hugging knees and head in between them. The cursing soon followed. He cursed for everything that is and was, everything that happened and will happen to him, and for everyone and everywhere that he would never get to see again. London and Paris. Cats and dogs. Family and friends. Home and hospital. All gone. Most forgotten. And only a handful to truly remember them; what they were like; what life was like. With almost every other person, living on dozens and dozens of worlds, to never truly understand. But weren¡¯t those other people the worst off? For they were, one and all, truly doomed, with only Sam Anders to save them.

    With each second that passed, with each drop of lukewarm water dropping on his head, Sam felt more of himself returning; more of his consciousness coming into view; thoughts slowly drifting into a semblance of order; emotions molding with each other, solidifying into categorizable, recognizable sets of feelings. Sam wasn¡¯t happy about those changes, because with them came the complete understanding of why he was feeling bad, and more importantly, the certainty that it wasn¡¯t going away anytime soon.

    ¡°Ah¡­ ah¡­¡± he let out a half-choked sigh and reclined his head backwards, letting the drops pelt him straight in the face. The crying had downgraded into a steady sob at this point, less because of a bettering of his emotions than because of an overwhelming sense of tiredness, mental and physical both. ¡°Fuuuck,¡± he groaned and struggled halfway up in order to turn the water hotter. ¡°Fucking shit.¡± He sat back down, once again enveloped in warmth, this time able to appreciate it.

    I think we can excuse not brushing teeth today. I knew that I should¡¯ve bought an extra toothbrush for the shower. He let out a half-chuckle, half-whimper, biting his lips in order to keep that whimper from turning his now half-assed sobbing back into a full-blown wail. It was going to come back; he knew that, just not right now, please, not right now. Let him stay strong, let him stay solid for a couple more moments. To gather himself, to get his thoughts in order.

    Ideally, I should want to keep myself together for the rest of the day, right? Wish myself steady for the full seventeen hours. Let the crying pile up and vent it for a straight hour before going to sleep. He sighed. That¡¯s not happening. I should be happy to keep myself from crying at any point today when I¡¯m alone. God. I feel awful. Fucking fuck! ¡°Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! I fucking hate this! Ahhhh!¡± He flailed left and right, bopping up and down like a little kid unable to regulate his feelings, trying to release some of the pent up emotion he was feeling, some of the anger he wanted to lash out upon the world. It didn¡¯t work. It only got him more angry, at himself and everything; more sad, for himself and everyone.

    I gotta do something. I can¡¯t stay in here forever. I gotta¡­ I gotta¡­ think, compartmentalize, figure out what I¡¯m feeling and why. ¡°Do something¡­!¡± he yelled at himself, pleading more than demanding. ¡°Call Maurice! Right, call Maurice. He told him to call him when¡­ when this happened. So I gotta do it. I can do it. It¡¯s just a fucking phone call. Only need to get up, turn off the water, get into a bathrobe, grab my phone and call him. Only need to do that. We can do that. It¡¯s easy. I can do that. Just need to start by getting up. The first step¡¯s the easiest. Just get up.¡±

    He didn¡¯t get up.

    It took him an extra minute before he managed to force himself to start working on that goal; another minute to gather the willpower to execute it; another minute to get up. Or maybe it didn¡¯t. He didn¡¯t have a watch with him. How the fuck did he know how long was he in the shower for? How long did each shambling action take him? All he knew was that it felt like forever, stumbling from one thought to the other; whiling away in stillness for no apparent reason after he had decided upon a course of action but had yet to act upon it; and doing said action, as slow and agonizing as torture.

    But he did manage to get up. And he did manage to turn off the water after a spell of indecision, followed by a longer spell of inaction. The cold air meeting his warm skin was a great help in hurrying him along outside of the shower and into his bathrobe. And from the corner of his eye, a rightwards glance towards the mirror brought him face to face with his reflection. God, he looked¡­ hollow, broken. Instinctively, he forced a smile, not a forced-smile, a true one for himself, for the parts of him that he was truly proud of and happy with. It came out fake. It wasn¡¯t, but it did. But it wasn¡¯t¡­ was it?

    He shook his head, somehow managing to tear his sight away from staring at itself, and proceed to fully don on the robe. He stepped back into the room proper, gulping, looking left and right in confusion and uncertainty. What time was it? Was he already late to meet with Sarah? Couldn¡¯t be. If he really was late, she¡¯d have called, or marched up here. Fuck¡­ what was he going to tell her? Them? Anyone? What was he going to tell himself? What the fucking was going on with him? No. No. One thing at the time. We got Maurice to call. So let¡¯s call him. Let¡¯s call him. We don¡¯t need to worry about anything else before doing that. Just gotta call him.

    He made his way back towards the bed, where he had started off this terrible day so long ago. His muscles screamed at him to drop down on it. His mind begged him to do the same, let himself get swaddled in its familiar comfort, swallowed into the blissful ignorance of sleep. And what did the return of his dreams matter to detract from that pleasant suggestion? After all, they were just ordinary dreams. One and done with no vividness at all. Sleep would still be a welcome abyss, a reprieve from everything else, himself most of all.

    He grit his teeth against that promise, and, grabbing his phone with a lurch, quickly retreated to crash down on the chair farthest from the bed. He didn¡¯t dare look at the phone, not wanting to find out the time. Instead, he just directed it to call Maurice, wishing he could trade his current emotional whirlwind for the splitting headache from the last time he called him like that. And where is Farris to inject some comedic relief into this awful experience?If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    ¡°Sam?¡± Maurice answered his call. ¡°Everything alright?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sam lied. ¡°No. No. I uh¡­ the magic ran out. The effect of it on my brain, I mean. I¡¯m¡­ uh¡­¡±

    ¡°I understand. Don¡¯t worry. I understand. It always seems overwhelming at the start. It probably feels even more so for you. But trust me, it gets better. I promise. You¡¯re going to be fine. You¡¯re going to feel fine. Should I come and get you?¡±

    ¡°Get me? Uh, no. No, I don¡¯t think so. I just didn¡¯t know what to do just now. Then I remembered you told me to call you when¡­ this will happen. So I did. What now? Should you be coming to get me?¡±

    ¡°If not me, then, at the very least, Sarah. You shouldn¡¯t be alone right now. Not that I mean there¡¯s any reason why you can¡¯t be alone. I¡¯m sure you¡¯re¡­ It¡¯s just Sarah will definitely want to be there for you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure she does¡­ But then why did you tell me to call you? Isn¡¯t this a part of your protocols or something? Don¡¯t you have to test me? Make your observations?¡±

    ¡°Right, yes, I do. But it can wait. It can definitely wait. We¡¯ll get to it when it¡¯s most comfortable for you. Whenever you want me to do it. It¡¯s just protocol, like you said, no reason to get all caught up in it.¡±

    ¡°Then when should we do it? I¡¯m asking you.¡±

    ¡°Ehm¡­ well¡­ how about breakfast, then? I¡¯ll come to you. That way, you won¡¯t be wasting any of your own time on this stuff. I¡¯ll just join you for breakfast, which you have to eat anyway, and that way you¡¯ll be able to do whatever you want to do with the rest of the day. Or we can do it during lunch. Or dinner. Whenever you want. I¡¯ll just come and do it. I have a free day today. You don¡¯t have to worry about me. Don¡¯t even have to be today. Whenever you want, really.¡±

    ¡°Then breakfast. I¡¯ll see you there.¡±

    ¡°W-wait! Wait!¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ I eh¡­ I don¡¯t want you to feel like you have to do it today or during breakfast just because that¡¯s what I said.¡±

    ¡°No that¡¯s alright. I agree with you. I¡¯m not sure what I¡¯ll be doing, but I¡¯ll definitely be eating today, right? So getting this out of the way during breakfast seems like the right choice. And if I do need to do it, then today seems like the best day for it, no? Good to have something planned for today. I really don¡¯t know what¡¯s going to happen. Everything feels¡­ you know?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ I do. I do indeed. It is going to get better, you are going to feel better. I cannot stress this enough.¡±

    ¡°If you say so.¡±

    ¡°I do, I am. I have an exhaustive knowledge of most of the Terran Taken. They all made it through what you¡¯re dealing with now, and you¡¯re better and stronger than most of them. You¡¯re definitely going to¡ª¡±

    Sam got distracted by the knocking, almost pounding on his door, and couldn¡¯t hear the rest of what Maurice said. ¡°Sam,¡± came Sarah¡¯s voice from behind the door, ¡°it¡¯s Sarah. I¡­ I need to use your bathroom. Can you please open the door?¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ.¡± Sam almost managed a laugh and a genuine smile after hearing her lame excuse. He got up with a call, ¡°Coming.¡± Into his phone, he said, ¡°Maurice? Yeah, Sarah¡¯s here. So if there¡¯s nothing we need to talk about now¡­¡±

    ¡°No, there isn¡¯t,¡± Maurice answered, but didn¡¯t hang up the call. Sam did though, before leaving his phone on the table and closing his bathrobe. Then he opened the door and came face to face with someone who could¡¯ve challenged his distraught visage.

    ¡°Hi,¡± Sarah greeted him sheepishly, hiding her hands behind her back. ¡°Can I come in?¡±

    Sam nodded and turned aside, closing the door behind her. He cleared his throat after a couple of seconds of her just standing in the middle of the room, looking at him worriedly. ¡°Don¡¯t you need to use the bathroom?¡±

    ¡°No. That was just an excuse. How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Funny. Maurice didn¡¯t bother asking me that question. I would¡¯ve counted it a detriment of his character if he didn¡¯t keep promising me that I was going to feel better.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ Maurice was worried that you were going to do something drastic and wanted to avoid¡­ you thinking along those lines.¡±

    ¡°And you aren¡¯t worried that I¡¯m going to kill myself?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not. No matter how much greater the mental woe you¡¯re currently suffering is compared to me or Maurice¡¯s, you¡¯re not going to act on it any worse than we did. You¡¯re much stronger than us. Besides, Maurice was mostly projecting. He¡¯s got an exaggerated view of his own experience going through what you¡¯re going through right now. But the closest he ever came to suicide was just thinking about it for a couple of days, nothing actual, nothing drastic, and nothing that would have necessitated him being under constant observation.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re claiming that you rushed over here under his urging and not your own?¡± Sam scoffed.

    ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s just that we each had different priorities guiding us. Maurice was scared for you and wanted to be sure that I¡¯ll be here to watch over you¡­ And I was just worried for you and wanted to be here for you, help you make this adjustment as smooth as possible.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­ I have to wonder whether you think you¡¯re doing a good job of it. So far, we¡¯ve only talked about suicide. And you haven¡¯t even tried talking me down from it. Just claiming that I¡¯d be ridiculous for my mind to wander in that direction. Not sure I really appreciate that kind of opinion right about now.¡±

    ¡°Why? Have your thoughts¡­ wandered in that direction?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ No. I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m thinking right now. My mind feels like a jigsaw puzzle being pieced back together by a colorblind child. There¡¯s no rhyme or reason to how anything currently works or how it¡¯s working its way back to coherence. It¡¯s a fucking miracle that I can sit here and talk to you like this. I can barely understand what I¡¯m saying. Nothing makes sense besides the immediate future. Everything else comes and goes and every time it comes, I feel like shit, but I don¡¯t get better when it goes. It¡¯s like there¡¯s too much information for my brain to be able to process, so it shut down and opened a bureaucratic apparatus instead. And every piece of shit feeling and emotion has to wait its turn to be processed, but in true bureaucratic nightmare fashion, instead of being digested and stored, the information is immediately lost after the image of it flashes through my brain and the palpations from it run through my stomach, and the emotion goes back to some random spot in line to try its luck again. Almost nothing makes sense and I¡¯m just overwhelmed by whatever little sense is being made.¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know. You know what I¡¯m going through. I figured it out already. Everyone like us goes through the same thing. I realize that as well. I also know that it¡¯ll pass. It¡¯s the only thing I¡¯m holding on to, a promise of getting out of whatever this is, of feeling like this.¡±

    ¡°I do know what you¡¯re going through. I¡¯ll reiterate that again, even if you¡¯re getting tired of hearing that. And it will pass. You can hold on to that promise more tightly than anything else I¡¯ve ever promised you. But what I was going to say is that while you¡¯re going through the same thing that I and every other Taken did, you¡¯re responding to it way better than I did. I¡¯m not lying or being hyperbolic to make you feel better. It¡¯s the truth. The first day is the hardest, the first morning doubly so. The fact that you¡¯re already as coherent as you are is something to be proud of. It took me more than a day to just regain the sense of self that you¡¯re currently exhibiting.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I don¡¯t know how to take that for a bunch of different reasons. Least of which is that I don¡¯t feel coherent at all. I don¡¯t even understand half of what I¡¯m saying. But coherence is the least of my problems. Evidently I¡¯m making sense to you, or maybe I¡¯m not and you¡¯re just extrapolating or whatever. It¡¯s everything else that¡¯s wrong. There¡¯s just so much¡­ so much stuff. Ugh!¡± he groaned into his hands, rubbing his eyes and face before looking up to stare beyond Sarah once again. ¡°If you weren¡¯t here right now, I¡¯d probably be back to crying in a haze. Only I¡¯m starting to realize that the real problem is that as the haze is getting clearer, the urge to cry is getting stronger. Fuck! I just want to go back to how I felt yesterday. But I don¡¯t even know how I felt yesterday. How was it possible for me to feel like that? There¡¯s just so much. So fucking much.¡±

    ¡°How about you take it one step at a time, then? Make it more manageable that way.¡±

    ¡°Fine by me. What¡¯s the first step?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d suggest getting dressed. It¡¯ll help you feel better.¡±

    Sam got up with a resigned nod and picked up his clothes for this morning from his second chair. ¡°Trust me enough to leave me alone in the bathroom?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    Behind closed doors, Sam stared dully at the pieces of fabric in his hands. Like it or not, they stood for something. The next steps for what he should be doing. He didn¡¯t like it. All he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and disassociate. But he didn¡¯t really want to curl up into a ball and disassociate. He didn¡¯t want to do anything. So he might as well do the one thing that he should be doing. Might as well. Might as well. After all, by this point, enough of him came back to remember. To understand. So might as well. If he could, might as well do it.

    After getting dressed, he returned the bathrobe to the hook, and walked over to sit back down in the chair he had just left. Not thinking through his thoughts, not looking ahead to see where his actions will lead. Just focusing on the moment, on the drive to complete the second step, on putting on each sock and tying each shoe. That was the right thing to do. It was the best thing to do. There was no reason not to do it. So doing it was better than not doing it. Which was why he was doing it.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Tying me shoes.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°¡­To get ready.¡±

    ¡°Ready for what?¡±

    ¡°To go out.¡±

    ¡°Go out where?¡±

    ¡°To the gym. To work out. That¡¯s the fourth step, you see? Getting dressed, getting ready to leave, going to the gym, working out. Four steps. What I should be doing next.¡±

    ¡°Sam¡­ you don¡¯t have to work out today.¡±

    ¡°What else would I do?¡±

    ¡°Whatever you want to do.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to do anything.¡±

    Sarah stiffened before slowly releasing a sigh. ¡°OK. So why working out then? You don¡¯t particularly like working out on¡­ ordinary days. And we should look at today as a sort of a¡­ vacation day. A real vacation. One where you take it easy and do only what you really want to do.¡±

    ¡°I told you, I don¡¯t want to do anything.¡±

    ¡°But surely there are things that you don¡¯t want to do less than how much you don¡¯t want to work out.¡±

    ¡°¡­Like what?¡±

    ¡°Like playing games. Or reading. Or watching something. Matter of fact, we can just sit here and talk, or not talk and just sit here. Point is, you don¡¯t have to go work out. You can just do nothing today.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re all the same as far as I¡¯m concerned. Working out is what I should be doing today, it¡¯s what I would be going to do if I were feeling norm¡ªlike yesterday. So why shouldn¡¯t I go do it now?¡±

    ¡°I can think of a dozen different answers to that question. And I think you¡¯re coherent enough by now to think of them yourself as well. If there¡¯s any day that you should be taking it easy on yourself, today is that day.¡±

    ¡°Maybe so. But right now, nothing seems easy. Everything, every plan I can think of, any usage of my time, sounds awful. So why not go for the one that¡¯s just as awful as everything else but that I have to be doing anyway?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to do anything! Ahem¡­ I mean, you don¡¯t have to do anything.¡±

    ¡°Maybe I don¡¯t. But Sam of yesterday, and the two whole months before that, sure did. And while I¡¯m obviously not that Sam anymore, I might as well keep up with the course he chartered for me. I told you, I don¡¯t have anything else I want to do. It¡¯s either working out, doing something, or just sitting listlessly and staring at nothing. And I¡¯ll be honest with you, if there is one thing that I really don¡¯t want to do the most, it¡¯s sitting around and feeling bad for myself. I¡¯m going to feel awful no matter what I do. I¡¯m not going to enjoy anything I do today, so why not just¡­ do everything as usual?¡±

    Sarah chewed on her lips in thought before slowly exhaling. ¡°Fine. I¡¯m not going to tell you what you should be doing today. I said that it¡¯s up to you and I meant it. You¡¯re the boss. So if you want to go work out, that¡¯s what we¡¯re going to do. Whatever makes you feel the best¡ªthe least worst. You ready to go then?¡±

    ¡°Y-yeah. I am. It¡¯s all in my bag. As usual. After you.¡± He followed her out of the door, closing it behind him with a slight shudder. Today had just begun, but he couldn¡¯t help wondering whether it was going to get better or worse.

 Chapter 86

    They descended the stairs silently, Sarah presumably lost in her thoughts. Sam wasn¡¯t sure where he was lost. His battered mind and missing personality felt like they were back together at this point. But even if what he was feeling corresponded to reality, he was certain that it was a haphazard remolding. That there was an integral part¡ªparts of him that were still not quite there, still lost in the mental swamp that was the aftermath of losing the way magic anchored his brain to reality. And while his train of thought was seemingly back to some semblance of order, the same could not be said for his underlying emotions. It was a mess. He didn¡¯t know what he was feeling and where all his feelings were coming from. He just knew that he didn¡¯t like it. And that he wasn¡¯t going to enjoy figuring it out.

    But I¡¯m going to have to do it if I want to make it to the other side. Whatever the other side happens to look like. After all, I knew this was going to happen. I had this giant boulder floating over my mental self for the last two months. Today it crashed down and splattered me all over the place. But piecing myself back is just the first step. It¡¯s lifting the boulder back up that¡¯s the real trouble. Huh. Maybe I am lost in thought as well.

    He looked back at Sarah; they had just stepped outside and the brightening morning sun perfectly accentuated her worried frown. She was obviously, pointedly, not looking at him, keeping her back almost too straight and her eyes forward. ¡°So how late are we?¡± he asked her, the sun reminding him of the existence of time.

    ¡°Not that late. Don¡¯t worry about it. You¡¯ve been more late in the past.¡±

    ¡°Really? I¡¯m honestly surprised. I was so out of it after I woke up that it feels like hours had passed since then.¡±

    ¡°Not even a single one. You called Maurice before it was time for us to meet. And he messaged me straight after. It hasn¡¯t been that long.¡±

    ¡°If you say so¡­¡± Some force of compulsion still made him take out his phone and check. She was right on both counts. It wasn¡¯t that late. And he did call Maurice before he and Sarah were supposed to meet up. By two whole minutes. ¡°So I¡¯m guessing that you were already down waiting for me?¡±

    ¡°I was on my way down, yes. You didn¡¯t force me to wait outside for you.¡±

    ¡°How long would you have waited?¡±

    ¡°Before I came to check on you?¡± She shrugged. ¡°Ten minutes maybe? How long would you wait before checking up on me if I was late?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I have no idea. Ten minutes as well?¡±

    ¡°Fine by me.¡± They kept walking in silence for two more minutes. ¡°You sure you want to do this?¡± Sarah asked again.

    ¡°Yes.¡± No. As opposed to what?

    ¡°Alright. But if it today feels harder than usual, then you should ease off a little. Accommodating your workouts to mental fatigue is just as important as to physical fatigue.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re speaking as though you¡¯re going to leave me by myself instead of hover around me, making sure I¡¯m doing everything correctly.¡±

    ¡°Maybe so. But it doesn¡¯t make what I said incorrect. Adding physical pain to the list of what¡¯s troubling you isn¡¯t the smartest idea in the world, no?¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it? It¡¯ll give me something else to focus on, at least. Not to mention that pushing myself to the limit might actually make me feel better. Work out the feelings and what not. That always helped me in the past. Usually. Sometimes.¡±

    ¡°You know yourself best. Then If you really want to push yourself, I¡¯ll just make sure that you¡¯re keeping to the correct form.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to do anything. That hasn¡¯t changed. I¡¯ll probably just do the usual routine. But if that proves too hard¡­ I¡¯ll just play it by the ear. Do whatever comes naturally with the least resistance.¡±

    ¡°Was that a joke?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± They walked in silence some more before Sam released a dejected sigh. ¡°How long is this going to last?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Probably for not as long as you fear, though.¡±

    ¡°How long did it last for you?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Besides, we¡¯re hardly the same people. Even if it was possible to compare this stuff.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that makes sense.¡± Unlike my question. How long is what going to last even? What is this, anyway? Is it just my current mental vertigo? Or is it everything else? How can everything else have an expiry date? If it¡¯s everything. That¡¯s like asking how long the effect of everything that ever happened to me in my life is going to last. Stupid fucking Sam. You just see Sarah and Maurice behaving like normal people and you¡¯re wondering how long until you¡¯re back to that level. If you ever will.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to get there,¡± Sarah said when she saw Sam was keeping his silence. ¡°Trust me, you¡¯re going to get there. This is just a bad episode, and you¡¯re going to get over it.¡±

    Sam scoffed. ¡°Bad episode. Yeah, that¡¯s what it is. One bad episode. A delayed episode as well. We managed got two good episode in before this. And since one bad episode doesn¡¯t necessarily kill the whole show, it¡¯s all going to be fine. As long as the rest of the season isn¡¯t all bad episodes.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re¡ªit¡¯s not going to last the rest of the season.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t even know what the season is.¡±

    ¡°Neither do you.¡±

    ¡°True enough¡­ That also wasn¡¯t a joke, by the way. It was just a metaphor. I¡¯m making frequent use of those today.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t think it was. Trust me, I await your first joke of the day with bated breath. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s going to be worth it.¡±

    ¡°First joke of the day? I don¡¯t see that happening.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ maybe. We¡¯ll see, won¡¯t we? The day¡¯s still young, and you¡¯re only going to get better from here on out.¡±

    ¡°I highly doubt it.¡±

    ¡°Like I said, we¡¯ll see. Really, the important thing is that you don¡¯t feel worse at the end of the day.¡±

    ¡°So are you willing to admit that¡¯s a possibility?¡±

    ¡°An impossibility, yes. Even if there was such a scenario, a series of events that will cause you to end today feeling worse than you are now, it¡¯s not going to come to fruition with me around. You can trust me on that. But I don¡¯t think that the former is even possible. You probably won¡¯t even need my help.¡±

    Sam shrugged. He was the last person able to influence his emotions right about now. And he wasn¡¯t even sure how he currently felt, let alone how he would feel later. Well, bad. He felt bad now and he will surely feel bad later, whether just as, better, or worse. But he couldn¡¯t give voice to the feeling; name it anything else other than just bad. This coming from the man who had developed the habit of trying to trace a distinct origin for each emotion and thought every time he felt crestfallen. Was he unable to differentiate his emotions today because of the state his mind was in? Or were there just too many emotions? Too many origins? Most important, when will he be able to? And should he? Would that make him feel better, like it did in the past? Did it make him feel better in the past? Of course, practically, it didn¡¯t really matter what and how he felt, only that he was able to keep¡ª

    ¡°Sam.¡± Sarah nudged him and gestured towards Yvessa and Felix, who were in mid-conversation. Yvessa noticed them and nodded, promoting Felix to turn backwards with a smile.

    ¡°Well, well, well,¡± he started, ¡°what eh¡­ Ehem.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°Everything alright?¡± his tone changed drastically. Evidently, something about Sam and Sarah¡¯s posture, facial expression, or just energy, gave Felix a clue that not everything was, in fact, alright.

    Sarah was about to answer, but Sam held up his hand to stop her. He looked at roughly the middle point between Felix and Yvessa, about eye level with Felix but avoiding both of their eyes. ¡°Sarah came to check up on me. It¡¯s my fault we¡¯re late. I, uh¡­ I got used, my brain got used to the magic this morning. It stopped having an effect on me. It was hard waking up.¡±

    ¡°Oh shit.¡± Felix frowned. ¡°What are you doing here, then? I mean, you don¡¯t have to work out today, you know? So you can take it easy, do whatever you want.¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to do anything,¡± Sarah said in Sam¡¯s stead.

    ¡°Sure, yeah, I get that. But still. Working out? Are you sure you wouldn¡¯t rather be doing anything else?¡±

    ¡°Like what?¡± Sam asked with no curiosity.

    ¡°All sorts of things. By yourself or with us. We can all afford to lose¡ªI mean take off for this one day, right? Do whatever you want¡ªwhatever we want. Just have fun. Relax. Don¡¯t worry about anything. Don¡¯t think about anything.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t suggested an activity. We might as well do the same thing we usually do in the morning. You guys like it, and I don¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°Do you really not care?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°It just seems to me that if you really didn¡¯t care, then you wouldn¡¯t be so averse to doing something else. Or just not doing anything. That¡¯s my go to when I¡¯m de¡ªwhen I¡¯m not feeling great.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re both the same as far as I¡¯m concerned. But since working out seems like the healthiest thing for me to do, in all aspects, and that¡¯s what I would be doing anyway if I was feeling¡­ not like now, keeping to my usual schedule sound like the best course of action.¡±This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    ¡°Is it keeping to your schedule or doing something that might make you feel better? Those are two different things, two wholly different reasons. Frankly, if you¡¯re here just because you feel like you have to, then I don¡¯t think that counts as the healthiest thing for you to do. What did Maurice suggest?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure he doesn¡¯t have any concrete suggestion other than to keep me monitored twenty-four seven.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re exaggerating,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Neither me nor Maurice were treated as¡­ strongly, as how you¡¯ve described, and you¡¯re in a much better state than we were. Maurice just wants to be sure that you¡¯re not alone today if you don¡¯t want to be.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I wonder why. What the hell does it matter what Maurice thinks anyway? His knowledge about the Taken doesn¡¯t extend to how to treat them when they¡¯re in my position. And his medical knowledge doesn¡¯t extend into mental health.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not,¡± Yvessa consented, ¡°but he is your doctor. And his knowledge about the Taken does extend to how they were treated when they were in your position.¡±

    ¡°How kids were treated, you mean, teenagers.¡±

    ¡°What does it matter how old they were? They were going through the same thing you were.¡±

    ¡°And so were the Taken my actual age. And I¡¯m pretty sure they weren¡¯t given a mental health week.¡±

    Yvessa shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s true, but it¡¯s not like the way they were treated is an ideal we should strive for. But I¡¯m not trying to argue against you. I agree with Felix pretty much. We should just do today whatever it is that you want to do. And you should do whatever it is you want to do. So if working out is really what you want to do, well, as long as you¡¯re aware of the possible underlying reasons for why you might want to do that, I¡¯m all in for helping you work out.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need any help. I know how to work out.¡±

    ¡°How about company, then?¡± Felix suggested.

    ¡°Whatever. As long as none of you try to prevent me from completing my usual routine. Now can we go in, please?¡±

    Felix and Yvessa exchanged looks with Sarah, who nodded, so they turned and started walking into the building. Escorting Sam into the building more like. He was flanked on the left by Yvessa, on the back by Sarah, and on the right by Felix. He wasn¡¯t sure that he appreciated their efforts, although he was whole enough to admit that he would¡¯ve probably acted the same if he were in their shoes. Not that he even really knew what he wanted to do, let alone how he wanted other people to treat him.

    No. That was not completely true. He did know what he wanted to do. Yvessa was almost right on the mark in that department. He decided to work out because he¡­ wanted to keep to his usual schedule. Not only because everything else appealed to him just the same but also because of his overall obligation, his secret duty that he consciously avoided voicing to himself all morning. But there was something that he truly, actually, wanted to do right now, only it wasn¡¯t something he could do. He wanted to stop feeling like this, to roll himself back one day. But that wasn¡¯t going to happen anytime soon. So he settled on forcing himself through the ordeal, maybe unconscionably at first, but he had become conscious of that fact by now. It really wasn¡¯t that hard. He really didn¡¯t want to do anything. One forced action seemed equal to every other forced action. And they all seemed better than not doing anything like Yvessa suggested. Sam didn¡¯t need more of himself to coalesce in order to know that not doing anything wasn¡¯t mentally conductive for him.

    ¡°You guys don¡¯t have to be quiet on my account, you know that, right?¡± Sam said after they deposited their bags.

    ¡°Who¡¯s being quiet on your account?¡± Felix asked. ¡°I was just lost in thought. You don¡¯t have a monopoly on that.¡±

    ¡°What were you thinking about, then?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ my favorite comfort foods. What I¡¯d most like to eat if I was in your shoes.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yes, really. What¡¯s so weird about that?¡±

    ¡°Nothing weird. I¡¯m just surprised that you¡¯re willing to admit that you were lost in thought because of me.¡±

    ¡°Nah. I wouldn¡¯t do you like that. Lying about that is just Sarah¡¯s move.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sarah objected.

    Yvessa hid a chuckle, although Sam wasn¡¯t sure from who. ¡°C¡¯mon, let¡¯s start,¡± she said as a matter of fact, avoiding looking at Sam. They all were, Sam realized. But after a few seconds of hesitation, and giving Sam a last worried glance, Sarah started leading them through the warm-up. Outwardly, all was usual. It didn¡¯t feel any more difficult than it did two days ago as far as Sam, the only person for whom it was any difficult, was concerned.

    And Sam felt nothing. It was like his body was disconnected from his mind. As though he was under the effects of an ultra-charged, body-wide, Nerves Deadener. He was aware of his body going through the movements, of the actions carrying with them a physical strain; a cause for discomfort. But he didn¡¯t feel any of it. The pain was there, the hardship, the hurried breathing, but it didn¡¯t matter one whit to Sam. Why? How? He was correctly going through the motions, otherwise Sarah would¡¯ve said something to him, so why did it feel like he wasn¡¯t doing anything, like he was just going through the motions in the idiom sense? But before he could formulate an answer to that question, the warm-up was already over. And what was supposed to be a split in every which direction ended up not a split at all. As all of them headed towards the same area.

    ¡°We¡¯re actually going to do this, then?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m starting here today,¡± Sarah huffed.

    Sam rolled his eyes. ¡°And you two?¡±

    Felix held up his hands. ¡°I think it¡¯s pretty obvious what we two are after. But in our defense, both of our routine are already similar enough to yours as it is. There¡¯re enough machines and weights here for the three¡ªfour of us to work in tandem.¡±

    ¡°What about the machines and lifts that I don¡¯t do? You going to split up and divide in order to always have someone around me?¡±

    ¡°Only if you want us to,¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Then we won¡¯t. Same as usual, right? After all, it¡¯s not the first time we started working out from the same sets.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough. Although, I feel like at this point I should probably mention this: You guys going out of you way to make me feel good or whatever, is probably not going to work if I start worrying about you suffering in order to do that. It¡¯ll just do the opposite.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Boy, you have a really low ceiling for suffering. Like, I get what you¡¯re saying. But it¡¯s not like we suggested getting whipped for your pleasure. We¡¯re just changing our exercise routine around you.¡±

    ¡°You suggested not doing anything at all today because of me.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ wow. You¡¯re right. That¡¯s really horrible. However will we manage?¡±

    Sam almost smiled. ¡°I get your point. Now will you get mine and realize that you don¡¯t have to walk like on eggshells around me? If the three of you just spend the next hour plus working out in silence, then who will you say was the cause of that?¡±

    ¡°Alright then. Yvessa, what do you want to talk about?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°I was actually planning to listen to the same podcast from yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Ugh. That politics one?¡±

    ¡°International relations.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°A lot of things. For one, politics is a catch-all term, and international relations is a codified field of study.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just semantics. I¡¯ve heard those guys yesterday. Practically it¡¯s just politics. Web politics is still politics.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your point? I just said politics is a catch-all term. Politics exists in all sorts of different places at all levels. From a small group, to an organization, to a nation, and to between nations in the Web. Just because it¡¯s all ¡®politics¡¯ doesn¡¯t mean that we can talk about a small group¡¯s dynamics with the same context and terminology as we would the interaction between nations.¡±

    ¡°Or maybe we can and we should.¡±

    ¡°Or maybe you¡¯re just being contrarian for contrarinism¡¯s sake. Would you combine every¡ª¡±

    Sam nodded along in contentment and nodded off from the conversation. That was more like it. The same as usual. Although probably a little puffed up for his sake. Hopefully not¡­ Hopefully? Why should he be hopeful it wasn¡¯t? Because that would mean his mental state affected his friends? Of course it did; of course it will; it should. Was it ¡°hopefully¡± because he didn¡¯t want it to affect their actions? That was just as unrealistic. How would it affect them without affecting how they acted towards him?

    And what does it matter how they acted towards him anyway? They were rational adults. Let them act however they wanted. Do whatever they think is right with the information Sam gave them. At least, Felix and Yvessa were. Sam stole a glance at Sarah, who was not taking a part in the conversation. Sarah was a different story. She might not be completely rational when it came to how she acted towards Sam. At the very least, not as rational as Felix and Yvessa were. But even if she weren¡¯t, what did it really matter? It¡¯s not like she was going to do anything to hurt Sam. OK, sure, her being unhappy might cause him to be unhappy. Felix might¡¯ve disagreed with Sam¡¯s categorizing of their suffering, but enough of Sam¡¯s argument still held true. Sarah¡¯s suffering as a result of actions taken on Sam¡¯s behalf was likely to make Sam feel bad. But more bad than the good resulting from said actions? And what did suffering even mean?

    Jesus Christ, I¡¯m so wound up. I don¡¯t know even know how I want to act towards myself. How the hell am I supposed to know how I want other people to act towards me? And what do I care about other people anyway? None of them are actually going to endure any suffering on my behalf. The only suffering possible for them is doing what Felix said, taking a day off because of me or for me or whatever. And I¡¯m the only one who would see such a thing as suffering. And because of the whole¡­ whole, responsibility business. It¡¯s not really suffering after all. I¡¯m the only one here who¡¯s really stretched for time. The only one¡­ the only one who¡¯s¡­ fuck. I gotta get out of my head.

    ¡°Hey,¡± he interrupted the three-way conversation that started while he was unfocused, ¡°I¡¯m going to put on my earbuds. So just letting you know¡­ if anyone else also wants to as well or something.¡±

    Sarah pursed her lips, clearly unhappy, but avoided saying anything. Felix gave Sam a thumbs up and said, ¡°Go ahead, mate, we¡¯ll probably continue without.¡±

    ¡°No podcast for you, Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°No. I only have one episode left, so I guess that I¡¯ll just save it for tonight. Besides, if I¡¯ll try to listen to it now, Felix will just be an asshole and try to take the piss out of it.¡±

    ¡°How rude,¡± Felix said, ¡°although probably true. And what about you, Sam? The first podcast while working out for you, maybe?¡±

    ¡°Not today, no. I need music to¡­ to focus on. If I just wanted to listen to people talking, I could just listen to you guys. You¡¯re entertaining enough.¡±

    ¡°Thank you! Entertaining enough. I¡¯m going to take that and put it on my gravestone.¡± He nodded to Yvessa. ¡°That¡¯s high praise, you know? You should feel proud of yourself. Our friend Sam here has a pretty high bar for what passes as entertainment. After all, we¡¯ve all seen the bread guy clip.¡±

    ¡°I knew I shouldn¡¯t have sent it to you,¡± she said.

    ¡°Hey. I didn¡¯t say anything.¡±

    ¡°You were about to.¡±

    ¡°Nothing of the sort. I was simply praising Sam¡¯s high comedic taste. I didn¡¯t say anything about anyone else¡¯s tastes and likes.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re on thin ice right now.¡±

    ¡°Thin ice? Like the ice on the windows when you used to get up early in the winter mornings¡ª¡± Felix was currently resting in between sets. So Yvessa justifiably kicked him in the shin.

    Sam once again let the cacophony of their trumped up argument get lost in the background. Only this time, the background had heavy metal ringing through it. It was a time-honored tradition for him to turn the music extra loud at times like this. Using it both directly, to drown out his thoughts, and indirectly, as a much needed aid after he embarked upon a workout that was going to leave him sore for a week. Letting out steam both physical and mental. It usually worked. It didn¡¯t work right now. But it usually did.

    Now, all he felt was empty. The music was just noise; barely intelligible to his addled senses and with none of the joy and succor it usually provided. And if the music was mental noise, then the act of working out was just physical noise. It still felt like nothing. The physical sensations were all there, and It was still as hard as it usually was. But it gave rise to no mental sensation, no emotional interpretation. Paradoxically, this was a state of mind he would¡¯ve been happy to have had at many past workouts of the last two months. It felt as though there was nothing preventing him from working his body to an actual breaking point. His mind simply didn¡¯t care what happened to his body. Or maybe it did care, but it was lost in the ocean of other, more plentiful and overwhelming sensations and emotions.

    All of this led Sam to one unfortunate truth: He could carry out this workout to his usual standards with ease, hell he could even push it further. But there was no reason to do that. He wasn¡¯t going to get anything out of the exercise. No mental lift. The next hour was just going to be¡­ a what? Not a waste of time. Rather, it would be time that passed without any change. But maybe that was good enough. Maybe there was nothing Sam could do to make himself feel better. If that was the case, then he should be more than satisfied with a state of mind that allowed him to keep to his usual schedule. Surely Sarah was right. This, whatever it was, was bound to pass eventually. So the most important thing was undoubtedly¡ªif bringing an earlier end to his current state was impossible¡ªkeeping his schedule. Acting as though nothing has changed. If he was going to come out of this eventually, then the most important thing will be to ensure it only set him back a minimal amount.

    Of course, not being able to get better was one thing. Not being able to get worse was another. And, unlike Sarah, Sam had no illusions that there was a very real chance that he would end this day in a far worse position that how he began it.

 Chapter 87

    He passed the rest of the workout in silence, both inwardly and outwardly. And while he couldn¡¯t enjoy the music, it still proved to be a good enough distraction by allowing him to focus on something that wasn¡¯t mental and thus avoid sliding back into inner contemplation. His friends kept sending him worried glances at sporadic intervals, but they didn¡¯t attempt to draw him out back into the living world. Midway through his own workout, they started splitting off to theirs, although, by pure chance, one of them happened to always be nearby until he finished with the weights and moved on to the mat. Thankfully, none of them decided to end their own exercise early to accompany him there as well.

    Once he was done, he signaled Sarah and headed straight to the showers, not wanting to get drawn into any further discussion. His earbuds were water resistant, so theoretically he could take them in with him. But¡­ what was the point? Was he so reliant on them providing him with music in order to drown out his thoughts? No. Of course not. Thoughts or no thoughts, nothing was going to change how he was currently feeling. And what else could he even think of, anyway? That he wasn¡¯t already busy with processing? His family? Earth? The rage? The sorrow? Those were all there already. All working themselves into an enormous Gordian Knot that kept stretching deeper and deeper into his heart and mind.

    Besides, he had already thought about all the subjects floating in his mind as he turned on the water plenty of times before today. So why should he be afraid to think about them now? How could his thoughts possibly lead him anywhere different so that he¡¯d want to avoid them? He was the same person. Undoubtedly so. He was just feeling different. That couldn¡¯t give rise to different thoughts. That was ridiculous.

    So his entire family was dead? So what? It was bound to happen to him eventually. He was the youngest in the whole extended family. And anyway, what did it matter that they were dead? After all, he wasn¡¯t¡­ they weren¡¯t¡­ what did it matter? It shouldn¡¯t matter. Not right now, not anymore. He had two whole months to think about it, to process and digest that information and its consequences. He had already made peace with that knowledge. Didn¡¯t he?

    So why was he crying? Couldn¡¯t be because of that, could it? No, of course not. It was just the fact that everything came at him together. His whole downtrodden mood come to attack him because he was once again alone, the hot water hiding his tears and cloaking his sobbing. It was the whole damn thing that made him sad. His family wasn¡¯t a cause for crying all on its own. It was just the first thing that came to mind right now. The one image that kept popping up in his head.

    That was complete bullshit. He realized that. He knew why he went from being ¡°fine¡± with the death of his parents just yesterday to trembling at just the thought of their voice today. It was more than clear what was going through his head. Why he was suddenly regretting every negative interaction with them, no matter what caused it and who was ¡°right¡± and who was ¡°wrong¡±; why inconsequential memories started floating through his mind, bringing with them a brief sensation of warmth before being overwhelmed by the emptiness that followed in its wake. He knew what was happening to him; why he was feeling like that. It made sense. He just wished it didn¡¯t. That it would all stop. Because the loss of his parents was just the first link in the great chain that was the causes for his sorrow. A chain that didn¡¯t even end with the loss of his whole family, or of the whole concept, abstract or practical, of Earth. There were so many things for him to cry about, so many people to cry for. Even if he could come to grips with one loss, it would swiftly be replaced by another. A never-ending stream of death and despair. Enough sorrow to last a person for a lifetime.

    The worst part was that he couldn¡¯t let himself face the sorrow head-on. Because that risked him being consumed by it. And he couldn¡¯t risk that. If he had the choice between rejection and dullness, but the steady progression in his training, or the slow road toward acceptance that carried the danger of breaking down, he would have to choose the former. His own mental state wasn¡¯t worth a damn. Happiness or sorrow, pain or joy, emptiness or purpose, what did it matter which of those Sam Anders spent his life having felt? His own life was inconsequential; his utility from it, worthless. It was only the utility he could give to others¡ªthat he had to give to others¡ªthat made his life worth a damn. The problem was that it was worth a whole lot: worlds upon worlds of worth. A Sam that was lost to sorrow was a Sam that couldn¡¯t fully utilize himself for his intended purpose. It was a Sam that risked the death of more than nine billion people.

    He let out a mirthless laugh, tears mixing with water inside his mouth. And only a couple minutes ago, here I was thinking about how I would be able to keep going indefinitely. As though nothing mattered. My body and mind were in total disconnect, so I shouldn¡¯t have any problem to keep going, right? After all, what did it matter whether my mind was breaking itself apart? It didn¡¯t. Because it doesn¡¯t matter how I feel, what I feel. All that matters is that it won¡¯t prevent me from doing my job. And right now, doing my job means keeping to the same schedule I¡¯ve kept up until today. I can¡¯t give up. I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t do it.

    He let out a choked sigh, butting his head against the wall. Thank God the stalls were private. Or maybe he shouldn¡¯t be thankful for that. Maybe if there were still people around him, to see him and judge him, he would¡¯ve been able to keep his composure. To keep from losing himself. But maybe this was good. A little outlet between all the rest of his obligations for the day. He didn¡¯t feel like this ten minutes ago. Maybe he will stop feeling like this in ten minutes¡¯ time. He knew how this all worked, after all. This fragile mental state. Never to this magnitude, maybe, but he knew. What he was currently feeling will pass, maybe even the moment he stepped out of the shower. But what about everything else? The reasons for what he was feeling right now? Will they ever pass? Will something somehow change if he left the safe comfort of the warm current?

    He won¡¯t know until he¡¯ll try. So why not try now? He was already done by now. All cleaned up and ready to go. Just gotta turn off the water and step out. Just gotta stop thinking about his family. His cats. His friends. The people he liked and wished he met. Not to be confused with the people he admired, but didn¡¯t care all that much about meeting. The pain and sorrow of the billions who lost their lives and sanity in a war that even the least sane amongst them expected. All that potential joy that will never see the light of day. The bright minds bounding with creativity; the focused minds bursting with genius, all silenced, dimmed for ever. And Sam Anders, apparently the only adult who deserved to avoid that hell on Earth. Who did he feel for the most? Who should he feel for the most? Fuck, he just wanted to stop feeling¡ª

    ¡°Hey, Sam, mate, you in there?¡± he heard Felix asking through the stall door.

    Sam jolted in surprise. ¡°I am¡­ You just went through every stall?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the only one in right now. You OK? I didn¡¯t see when you finished, but if you¡¯re still here to meet me, then you must have been here longer than usual.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ yeah, I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m just stepping out.¡± He swallowed the tightness in his throat and turned off the water.

    ¡°Cool.¡± Felix nodded at him. ¡°See you later, then. Eh¡­ don¡¯t go anywhere.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t planning to.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t think you were. Just thought it best to make sure of that.¡±

    Sam sighed, acutely aware of the fact that his annoyance was unjustified, and gave Felix his attempt at a thankful smile before walking off to dry himself and get dressed. Once outside, he headed to his usual bench, which was thankfully unoccupied, and settled in for the wait. Usually he would¡¯ve been either practicing his gathering or his tracing right about now. Should he still do that? Could he? Did he have anything better to do? Was he planning to go back just thinking, getting wound up inside his own mind? He closed his eyes and turned his head upwards, letting the sun shine on him, providing warmth and a welcome distraction.

    With that distraction in hand, he turned his magical awareness outward. The magical energy soon started making itself known. His seeking had advanced far enough by now for him to actually sense the existence of the surrounding magic before he grabbed hold of it. Although not far enough to be able to tell differentiate the magic into clusters, much less tell their density. Not consciously, at least. Intuitively, his senses still guided his gathering to seek with amazing efficiency. It seemed that was the sole facet of his mental faculties that remained unchanged between yesterday and today. The first stage of gathering was over just as quickly as it usually was, with him holding the maximum amount of energy he could keep track of in his mind¡¯s hand. And since his core wasn¡¯t full, all that remained before him was the menial task of guiding the magic into it, which felt reminiscent enough of how unresponsive working out did to make him think that he could keep at it indefinitely.

    That might¡¯ve been true if he could have kept his mental energies directed at the task. But he couldn¡¯t. Without noticing it, his mind drifted aimlessly after completing the one cycle instead of starting another one. When he did finally notice it, and marshalled his focus, the seeking part of the first stage passed alright, but bringing the energy back towards his body felt laborious; slow and clumsy. It didn¡¯t take him much longer than it usually did when he eventually managed it, but it left him more drained than it did in a long time. And for the first time in a long time, he also ended up losing his hold on the magic. He pushed the energy into his core absentmindedly, and didn¡¯t realize that only two third of the energy had made it in by the time he stopped paying attention.

    He let out a groan, more dejected than annoyed. Try again. Nothing to it. Nothing better to do. You don¡¯t want to do anything. So might as well do this. Must he, though? He wasn¡¯t cultivating after all; he was only practicing, and only his seeking. Was he even able to practice in this state? His skill with gathering wasn¡¯t like a muscle, it wouldn¡¯t improve by much if he did it offhanded. Maybe he shouldn¡¯t have traced yesterday, that way he could¡¯ve spent now cultivating, doing something with a purpose.

    Oh God¡­ He let out a half-laugh, half-sigh. Tracing. I fucking forgot about the tracing session from yesterday. Appropriate isn¡¯t it? I ended yesterday on such a high note, so it¡¯s only fair that I get today in recompense. Fuck it. I might as well just practice tracing Prior Skin Reinforcement. Chase that high. Attempt to improve at something that has a tangible result showing my improvement. ¡°Ah¡­¡± Just gotta remember how to trace it. Let¡¯s see¡­ Obviously, since we¡¯re far from good enough to do the shortened version, we need the one that builds straight from Basic Enhancement and Magical Coating. So we start with Prior modified for tracing to the thumb, then the tracing that allows us to combine the two, and since it doesn¡¯t matter which one of them goes first, we¡¯ll do Coating first, and we just need to finish with the tracing for the effect itself. What did it look like¡­? Oh, right. Yeah. So let¡¯s do it. What have we got to lose?

    Just the rest of the magic in his core, it turned out. For while all of his attempts ended in failure, he somehow didn¡¯t feel bothered by it one whit. Yesterday was a lucky break. He had well until Monday or Tuesday to be able to trace Skin Reinforcement for the first time. And what if I won¡¯t manage it by then? Am I just going to put a break on my studies and training? Everything that required a mental input? Or am I going to keep trying at it, only because of my shit mental state, I won¡¯t learn and improve at all? Is it up to me? It should be, shouldn¡¯t it? I¡¯m the only one that should get a say whether I can keep going like I usually do. Unless I¡¯ve totally lost it and I¡¯m just not aware of that fact. What would that look like? Just bashing my head against the wall one day, mentally breaking down out of nowhere? What a great fucking image, Sam, fan-fucking-tastic.

    ¡°Here, my treat,¡± Yvessa said as she sat down to him and handed him one of two coke bottles in her hands.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Thanks.¡± Sam took the bottle.

    ¡°Cheers.¡± She clinked her plastic bottle to his and took a long sip out of it. After considering it for a few moments, Sam did the same. Consuming coke, or just sugar in general, was also a longstanding tradition of his in times like this. A comfort mechanism for dealing with depression, anxiety, or whatever other mental ill affected him drastically enough to force him to try and regulate his emotions through his stomach. He let out a satisfied sigh. If there was one thing to say in favor of the modern world, it was that the coke tasted better.

    ¡°I think this is the first time I see you drinking coke,¡± he said.

    ¡°The first? Really? I don¡¯t frequently drink carbonated drinks, but it¡¯s not like I actively avoid them. I suppose that it makes sense because I almost always drink water unless it is a special occasion. And the few of those that we¡¯ve had together, I had other drinks that I like more on hand.¡±

    ¡°Is today a special occasion?¡±

    ¡°Could be. Could be I just wanted a coke.¡±

    ¡°Ah ah. Sure. Did you happen to glimpse Sarah before you left the gym?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. She was just about finished with her workout.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s rushing it, then?¡±

    ¡°Not by a whole lot.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­¡±

    ¡°So what were you doing?¡±

    ¡°Right now?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    He sighed. ¡°I¡­ ah¡­ I started by practice gathering, and if my core was full, maybe I would¡¯ve kept at it. But it¡¯s not. So I decided to practice tracing instead. Skin Reinforcement again.¡±

    ¡°Again? Did you practice it yesterday evening as well?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ eh¡­ yes, I did¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡± She peered at him quizzically, catching on that he perhaps had something more to say.

    ¡°I¡­ well, I actually managed to trace it once yesterday. Last attempt before bed.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s pretty incredible.¡±

    ¡°It was just a lucky break. I failed every time today, after all.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be so sure about that. Yesterday and today are very different days. And just the fact that you succeeded once so soon¡ªHey, Felix, hear this out?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± he asked as he joined them on the bench.

    ¡°Sam managed to successfully trace Skin Reinforcement yesterday.¡±

    ¡°No shit? I guess that¡¯s the last nail in the coffin for any doubt I still held about the efficacy of your pre-bed tracing practice. Prior Skin Reinforcement after just a day.¡± He whistled. ¡°That would¡¯ve definitely gone on my application to the academy.¡±

    ¡°Do I need to bring up the difference between teenagers and adults once again?¡± Sam asked. ¡°Besides, like I just told Yvessa, it was luck. I couldn¡¯t manage to do it today.¡±

    ¡°Luck is only studying for half of the subjects in a course but getting asked about just them in the exam. Knowing how to answer those questions correctly, however, isn¡¯t luck. It¡¯s knowledge. It¡¯s skills. You can¡¯t luck your way into a successful tracing. If you¡¯ve successfully traced it yesterday, then you¡¯re just as likely to be able to trace it today. From an ability-only perspective.¡±

    ¡°I highly doubt it. I don¡¯t even know what I¡¯m going to be doing the rest of the day.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not coming with us to breakfast?¡±

    ¡°Well, no. I meant after breakfast. Which reminds me, I need to message Maurice. He said he¡¯ll meet me there. Protocols and whatever.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s already on his way,¡± Sarah said, coming to stand above them. ¡°He¡¯ll get there before us, so he¡¯ll grab us a table.¡±

    ¡°That was a quick shower.¡±

    ¡°I barely broke a sweat. Ready to go?¡±

    Sam sighed and got up. ¡°Lead the way.¡±

    ¡°How was your workout?¡± she asked him after a few moments.

    ¡°Boring.¡±

    ¡°Is that good or bad?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. It didn¡¯t make me feel better, though. And that¡¯s definitely bad.¡±

    Sarah squeezed his shoulder. ¡°Give it time. It¡¯s been less than three hours since you woke up, after all.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­ you¡¯re obviously right. Since I¡¯m evidently thinking that I might go for a run tonight. Depending on how I¡¯ll physically feel, of course.¡±

    ¡°You mean you¡¯ll be coming with us after dinner?¡±

    ¡°No. I meant running running. In a big lap. Around the campus, so I guess as much of a lap as I can manage. But with passing scenery and the like.¡±

    ¡°We, I, can join you for that. I used to do that same run on some Saturdays last year. It¡¯ll be fun to go back to it.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see. I¡¯m not sure that I even want to run. And if I do end up wanting to, then I¡¯ll most likely want to do it alone. That¡¯s what worked in the past.¡± Not that I ever had someone to run with before. But I didn¡¯t want to as well, so that¡¯s fine, isn¡¯t it?

    ¡°Alright¡­¡± Sarah said haltingly. ¡°Let me know.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine to go for a run by myself if I want to. You know that, right?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say you weren¡¯t. Or that you shouldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°My bad then.¡±

    ¡°Did you ever run the trail around campus?¡± Felix, seemingly nonchalantly, asked Yvessa.

    She shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t see the appeal. It¡¯s not like there¡¯s all that much of a view.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what I was thinking. Like, I guess that it¡¯s better if you want to the feeling of having run a long distance, compared to running in small laps. But I don¡¯t know. I always preferred a treadmill.¡±

    ¡°Running on a treadmill isn¡¯t as fun as running outside,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°You have fun running outside?¡±

    ¡°Sometimes. A little bit. But much of that little bit would be lost were I to run on a treadmill. Then again, I¡¯ve never really tried, so who knows¡­¡±

    ¡°So when will you know if you do want to run tonight?¡± Sarah asked Sam.

    ¡°Knowing me, it¡¯ll probably be a split-second decision. So most likely only after dinner. Maybe before. I don¡¯t know. Depends.¡±

    ¡°Alright, just keep me updated.¡±

    ¡°I will.¡±

    The rest of the walk passed in terse silence, a fact for which Sam was glad. But only because he managed to keep his mind aimed outwards and avoided collapsing back into thought. Mostly avoided. But since whatever thoughts did arise only dealt with him feeling self-conscious about causing the current change in their group dynamic, he still very much welcomed the silence.

    Once inside the mess hall, Sam was struck by indecision. He wasn¡¯t sure how hungry he was. Or more accurately, he didn¡¯t feel hungry at all, but managed to make the mental connection and realize that it was probably not an objective statement about his physical body.

    ¡°You need to eat,¡± Sarah said once she saw him standing still.

    ¡°I know, I know. Just not sure how much or what.¡±

    ¡°Just try to eat what you usually do. Never mind, I¡¯ll make you a tray, alright? I know what you like and how much and what you should be eating. That way, you only need to worry about the eating part.¡±

    Sam shrugged and followed in her footsteps. Silently putting whatever she handed him onto his tray. ¡°That¡¯s not what I usually eat,¡± he said after most of their tray were filled, ¡°or what you eat.¡±

    ¡°Today¡¯s a cheat day.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have cheat days.¡±

    ¡°We do now. Enjoy the calories. I know I will. What? C¡¯mon. You can allow yourself a couple of days of sinning and eating trash. And I can allow myself way more than just a couple. If I say that it¡¯s fine, then it¡¯s fine. Trust me.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡±

    They were the last to the table and Sarah went ahead of him to take a sit, leaving Sam squeezed between her and Maurice. The doctor gave him a nod once they made eye contact. ¡°How are you feeling, Sam?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Not the same as when we talked. But I don¡¯t know if for better or worse. Maybe both.¡±

    ¡°Believe it or not, but that¡¯s a good thing. What you¡¯re feeling is your waking mind readapting itself. In other words, your consciousness is playing catch up. It had a lot of information to reprocess when you woke up this morning and it¡¯s slowly been working its way through it. That¡¯s why you¡¯re thinking that you might be feeling worse. You¡¯re not actually feeling worse, you¡¯re just more aware of your feelings.¡±

    ¡°If you say so. I wouldn¡¯t be so sure about that. I¡¯m definitely the kind of person who can make himself feel worse by just thinking about the same old piece of information.¡±

    ¡°Most people are, unfortunately, but you¡¯re right. You¡¯re the only one who can say, and who gets a say in determining how you are feeling. However, as your personal physician, I can, at the very least, attest that you are much more cognizant right now than when we talked this morning. And like I said, that is a positive development.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the expert.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m really not. I just know the general facets of the mental process you¡¯re going through¡ªand more from my own personal experience than from any empirical observation¡ªI would¡¯ve vastly preferred it if I would¡¯ve also known how to help you with what you¡¯re going through. But we¡¯ll have to leave that for the professionals.¡±

    ¡°Professionals? Plural? What you¡¯re going to parade me before a bunch of Taken-specialized psychologist? Scrounge up the same few that Sarah dealt with?¡±

    ¡°None that dealt with Taken. But qualified therapists, highly acclaimed, nonetheless. After all, your personal experience and¡­ troubles might be incredibly unique. But isn¡¯t every person¡¯s experience unique to him on some level?¡±

    ¡°True enough. So who are these professionals? When am I going to meet them?¡±

    Maurice cleared his throat. ¡°The plan isn¡¯t actually for you to meet with more than the one therapist. Ideally, of course. I was just speaking of professionals in the general sense, of mental health experts who are more suited to helping you than someone like me.¡±

    ¡°I thought the protocol called for multiple evaluations or something. At least that¡¯s what Sarah told me she went through.¡±

    Sarah nodded. ¡°Not really. I was under constant evaluation even before my mind got adapted, but none of that was strictly therapy. Another point in your favor, if you¡¯ll allow me. That was when I had a lot of people looking after me. Afterwards, when I did start therapy, I only really met with the one therapist. I was still under the care of some of those other people, but for dynamic therapy or whatever it¡¯s called, it was just her.¡±

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Maurice said, ¡°our legal status as children mandated us being overseen by multiple responsible parties. That is, strictly, speaking, not part of the protocol that mandates the best approach on how to acclimate returning Taken. After all, I told you that the protocol suggests very limited psychological intervention before the Taken¡¯s mind fully adapts to magic. In essence, you are the only Taken for whom we truly followed that suggestion.¡±

    Sam tsked. ¡°So the protocol suggests that I¡¯ll have a one-on-one meeting with a therapist next?¡±

    ¡°It does. Even for someone who is as well adjusted as you are currently.¡±

    ¡°You call this well adjusted?¡±

    ¡°You can talk, can¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know that was such a high bar. But I could already talk to you this morning, so what were you so scared of then?¡±

    ¡°I hadn¡¯t yet had a chance to ascertain just how well you were taking this change. Plus, I¡¯ll admit to being panicked. I wasn¡¯t acting to my usual standards, which are already not that high when it comes to helping a patient with a mental health problem. But never mind me, or what I was worried about. And leave the protocol alone for now. We do have mental health experts, yes, plural, who have been monitoring your case from afar and devising the best way to help you acclimate, protocols or no protocols. They suggested that your first step is to meet with a therapist, and together you and she will decide on what is the best course of action for you.¡±

    ¡°She? Is it the same therapist Sarah had?¡±

    Maurice shook his head. ¡°No. Sarah¡¯s therapist is retired as far as I know. They suggested someone who is highly acclaimed and while she does not have any practical experience with Taken, she has studied them extensively. From what I understand, she is very good. She¡¯s not a part of the military, but she did readily agree to meet with you.¡±

    ¡°What if I don¡¯t like her?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s always a worry, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Expect that I can¡¯t really allow myself to be treated by a therapist I don¡¯t like. Even if she¡¯s very good.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry about that, then. If you two don¡¯t jibe, then she¡¯ll recluse herself. And, of course, you yourself can always decide you want to meet with someone else and be immediately accommodated. But there¡¯s no way to know without meeting her.¡±

    ¡°Alright. When?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s up to you.¡±

    ¡°Not very smart, is it? Leave the resuscitator in the hands of the person having a heart attack.¡±

    Maurice smiled. ¡°They suggested Sunday, which will give you two days to think about and get used to your changes. But I was promised that you could also meet with her today or tomorrow if you wanted to. Preferably, though, no later than Sunday. Even if you come to the decision that you don¡¯t need any psychological help, you should have an informed discussion about it beforehand.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure. What are the chances of that happening?¡± Sam let out a sigh. ¡°Fine. Sunday it is. Morning I presume?¡±

    ¡°Whenever you prefer.¡±

    ¡°Morning then. Before breakfast. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to be doing that day, by I know that I¡¯ll have to have breakfast.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of having breakfast.¡± Sarah nudged him on the shoulder.

    ¡°Yeah, yeah. I can take the hint. I was focused on something else, wasn¡¯t I?¡±

    Maurice nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll let them know, then. I¡¯ll contact you with exactly when and where, on Sunday. But remember that if you feel like it, you can always bring it forward. Just let me know. She promised to be on standby, and it¡¯s not a long drive from Transit.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel like I want anything, but I¡¯ll keep that in mind.¡±

    ¡°Of course, if at anytime you start feeling particularity¡­ in need of help. Call me immediately. We have plenty of people that could help you on hand.¡±

    ¡°Do you mean if I feel like killing myself?¡±

    ¡°It needn¡¯t be something so drastic for you to deserve immediate treatment and help. If you feel that you must have aid, for any reason, that¡¯s enough.¡±

    ¡°Good. Cause I¡¯m not going to kill myself,¡± Sam said, surprising perhaps most of all himself. He knew that a part of him wanted that release. But he also knew that part of him was very far from being in control, that it wasn¡¯t anything more than a nagging voice and a disruptive thought. But he didn¡¯t know that he felt so certain about that being impossible. That whatever happened to him, he wasn¡¯t going to be the one to end his story, to doom the Web. Or at least not doom the Web by that action. We don¡¯t know about all the other actions I could take that will see nine billion people dead or assimilated.

    But I won¡¯t kill myself. It¡¯s not just that I can¡¯t. I don¡¯t fucking want to.

 Chapter 88

    ¡°I¡¯m happy to hear that,¡± Maurice said after a moment¡¯s pause. ¡°As you probably already know, I was much less certain of my willingness to maintain my life when I was in your position. And whatever worth and happiness my life has brought me and the world since then, your potential for those is just as great as mine, if not greater.¡±

    ¡°Trust me,¡± Sam said, ¡°I¡¯m don¡¯t need any lecture on the importance of affirming life. I know very well how much my life is worth and that I can¡¯t give it up. Shouldn¡¯t. Want to. Whatever. Get off my back.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say anything¡­¡± Sarah protested. ¡°Eat your pudding.¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine.¡± Sam made a show of scooping a spoonful into his mouth. He had to admit, it was tasty. And unlike with working out, and like the coke, this brand of physical sensation did provide him with a mental effect. I guess that we found something that I do actually want to do.

    Sarah turned to Maurice. ¡°Did the people you consult with also suggest what Sam should do until Sunday?¡±

    ¡°They left it up to him, more or less. Although they did advise against working as hard as he has been.¡±

    ¡°So to take it easy, in other words.¡±

    ¡°In essence.¡±

    ¡°Hear that, Sam?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Yeah, so? What does taking it easy even mean? If there was anything that I wanted to do right now, then maybe I would¡¯ve agreed with what you¡¯re really trying to say. But I told you already, I¡¯m not going to feel any different, better or worse, whether I¡¯m ¡®working hard¡¯ or ¡®taking it easy.¡¯ And since the only thing that I really don¡¯t want to do to sit around without doing anything, the essence of ¡®taking it easy.¡¯ What¡¯s the difference between playing video games and¡­ I don¡¯t know, going to a lesson with Dan, if they¡¯re both going to feel the same to me?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re planning to attend your lessons as usual?¡± Maurice raised an eyebrow.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I haven¡¯t even talked with Dan today. So unless you have, he¡¯ll be waiting for me the same as usual. The least I can do is go there and decide things out together with him.¡±

    ¡°I believe he would also advise you to avoid exerting yourself. For today and tomorrow, at least.¡±

    ¡°Did none of you guys hear what I said? Nothing matters to me one way or the other. It¡¯s all exerting myself just the same. Working out or laying down listening to music. Reading for school or reading for fun. Except for the aforementioned, ¡®doing nothing,¡¯ it¡¯s all the same to me. So if it¡¯s all the same to you, I might as well try to do things as I usually do them. If I can do those, and they¡¯ll affect me the same as anything else, what could possibly be a better alternative?¡±

    ¡°Probably still doing things for fun,¡± Felix said. ¡°You should at least try to take it easy. Instead of just saying that you don¡¯t want to because it all feels the same to you.¡±

    ¡°I did try to do something for fun. I listened to music, didn¡¯t I? That felt the same as not listening to music and wasn¡¯t very fun. And I¡¯m also planning to run today, aren¡¯t I? That¡¯s not something I usually do.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s still not taking it easy. Even if you¡¯ll be having fun doing it. And the reason you don¡¯t usually go for a run is that you don¡¯t have fun while doing it¡­¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to tell you what to do, Sam,¡± Maurice said. ¡°If you think you are able to keep to your usual schedule, and if that¡¯s what you want to do, then go ahead. Worst case, you¡¯ll stop midway after deciding to ease off a¡ª¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sam said, ¡°I¡¯m afraid that worst-case scenario is that I¡¯ll get mentally crushed and consider me and the endeavor a failure. But the same worst case exists for if I¡¯ll take it easy. If I¡¯ll spend the whole day lazing around without having fun, I¡¯ll just end up feeling worse for it.¡±

    ¡°I understand¡­ In any case, I believe that what¡¯s most important for you is to do whatever it is that you want to do. Or not do whatever it is you don¡¯t want to do. So if you don¡¯t want to be left alone with your thoughts for now, that¡¯s perfectly valid and you should do whatever helps you avoid that scenario. Oh, and on that note. Here.¡± He handed Sam a pill bottle.

    ¡°What are those for?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Sleeping pills. For the next couple of weeks. You don¡¯t need to worry, I got the experts¡¯ opinion and permission to give you those. In fact, feel free to take them straightaway, without even seeing what it feels like to try and fall asleep without them.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t seem medically sound.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just for the next few weeks. To help you sleep easily, and, like you said, avoid spending too much time with just your own thoughts. It¡¯s for your mental health, not your physical health. Trust me. You can freely avail yourself of these for even the next couple of months. Take one a night, ten minutes before bed. But, if you¡¯d like to try sleeping without them at first, that¡¯s also alright. Whichever you prefer.¡± Sam put the bottle in his backpack with a shrug. He¡¯ll see whichever he preferred when ten minutes to his bedtime tonight, then.

    ¡°And what about other pills, then?¡± Sarah asked. ¡°Antidepressants and the like.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯ll wait for Sunday. And it¡¯ll be up to Sam ultimately. But my hope is that, unlike you and me, he¡¯ll be able to do fine without them.¡±

    ¡°But if they can help him feel better faster¡­¡±

    ¡°If they can, immediately and without drawbacks. Considering all the trial runs and changed prescriptions that we went through, that¡¯s a very ideal outcome, wouldn¡¯t you say? Better leave it to the professionals, no? And to Sam?¡±

    ¡°I suppose you¡¯re right. And maybe since Sam is obviously doing much better than us, he won¡¯t need any help in that department.¡±

    ¡°Maybe so. But it¡¯s out of my jurisdiction anyway and up to Sam himself to decide based on whatever advice he will be given. On Sunday or in the future.¡±

    Sam cleared his throat. ¡°Does the academy not have a rule forbidding medicated cadets or something like that?¡±

    ¡°Nothing of the sort. It¡¯s all decided on a case-by-case basis. We do prescribe cadets psychiatric medicine from time to time, and as long as they pass their mental evaluation, it doesn¡¯t matter. And the prescription itself doesn¡¯t even necessarily affect that evaluation. Some people just need some help and it shouldn¡¯t be counted against them. Especially if there is no difference in behavior between them and their peers.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t there a bigger chance that they¡¯ll have a mental breakdown or something?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not familiar with the data, but not to my knowledge. Our system of regular mental health evaluations are designed to ensure that everyone is doing OK and can perform their duties adequately and professionally. If they need any help to be OK, that¡¯s the whole point of the evaluation. It¡¯s not to chuck people out if we find out they¡¯re having problems. ¡±

    ¡°A moot point anyway. No one¡¯s chucking me out of anything unless I go completely crazy.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s also true. On that note, you should know that the academy has relegated all of its mental health responsibilities, the evaluations and regular appointments, to me and the group of experts who were keeping track of you. If your meeting on Sunday goes well, then you won¡¯t need to see any other therapist during your time here.¡±

    ¡°And after?¡±

    ¡°Well, until you¡¯re high enough level to ignore those, you¡¯ll be required to attend an evaluation at whatever frequency your length and place of service demands. Hopefully, by that time, those will be nothing more than a formality.¡±

    ¡°How will they ever be anything more than a formality?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Considering who his patron is, as long as Sam doesn¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t know, give up on himself, then no matter how a therapist evaluates him, Farris will make sure that Sam stays in the military. Not that I¡¯m saying you should be worried about getting a negative evaluation or anything, Sam.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s alright, I didn¡¯t think you were. And that reminds me that I should probably let Farris know about this development as well. Seeing as it does sort of fall under the purview of the weird relationship he and I have. Luckily, it won¡¯t be any work digging up his email.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t worry about that if I were you,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Dan will definitely let him know straight away. He¡¯ll have to compile a special report. I¡¯ve already written my part and I just need to make some minor changes, adjusting for what we¡¯ve been talking about throughout breakfast. So he might even know about what happened to you before you get a chance to tell him.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d rather he didn¡¯t, though.¡±

    ¡°As you wish. I¡¯ll send it to him before lunch.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re set on going to a lesson with Dan?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°I already told you that I am. Nothing better to do.¡±

    ¡°If it¡¯s about you not wanting us to miss class or anything.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not about that. But now that you mentioned it, I¡¯ll also take it into consideration. Look, if me and Dan decide that I shouldn¡¯t be studying today as usual, then I¡¯ll just go back to my room and play video games with him or something. Have him keep me occupied until dinner. Will that satisfy you?¡±

    ¡°God. I¡¯d actually love to see that. Please, if you do end up doing that, call me up. I¡¯d kill to be there and kick Dan¡¯s ass at a video game.¡±

    ¡°Is that fine with you, Sarah?¡±

    She frowned. ¡°We¡¯ll see. Keep me updated, whatever you decide. Anyway, I¡¯ll be coming with you to Dan¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°That figures.¡±

    ¡°Keep me updated as well,¡± Maurice said. ¡°Although I assume Dan will inform me anyway. And keep in contact with me throughout the day.¡±Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be the one to keep in contact with him?¡± Sarah said.

    ¡°Right. I¡¯ll do that, then. Tomorrow as well¡­ Just have to set a reminder,¡± he murmured beneath his breath. ¡°You¡¯ll be heading to Dan now, then?¡± He gestured to Sam¡¯s freshly emptied plate.

    ¡°I suppose so.¡± Sam shrugged. ¡°Nothing else to do, and if I keep these guys here any longer, then they¡¯ll be late for class.¡±

    ¡°No one¡¯s late for anything,¡± Felix said. ¡°We still have plenty of time.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. I¡¯m usually finished with breakfast by now and isn¡¯t the whole theme of today to try and do what I usually do? Although, don¡¯t you have any actual medical checkup to run me through for your protocol?¡± he asked Maurice.

    Maurice nodded. ¡°Right, I almost forgot about that. Thank you for reminding me. There¡¯s nothing to it, really. Just the same checkup that I did after your Awakening. Confirming everything is indeed the same. Give me your hand, please.¡±

    This time, Sam was experienced enough, and more importantly, coherent enough, to understand what Maurice did. Only conceptually, of course, the actual technique behind the doctor¡¯s tracing was far beyond him. But it was tracing, that much was obvious. The magic flowed in from Maurice¡¯s hand with purpose, and although Sam could not discern under what effect it was working, it obviously carried with it an effect (or, much more likely, effects) of some kind. This was unlike Dan¡¯s tracing when he refilled Sam¡¯s core, which was always effectless, just magical energy being guided from the level 10¡¯s body into Sam¡¯s and through it to his pathways and core.

    Contemplating that difference brought a question to Sam¡¯s mind. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you performing the actual tracing in my pathways?¡±

    ¡°For a simple test like this, it¡¯s not worth the hassle,¡± Maurice said. ¡°In order to be able to trace inside of your pathways, I¡¯d have had to trace a much more complicated tracing to open a channel between my body and yours, then your body and your pathways. Then, I will still have to trace Control through a Prior Physical before the actual tracing, so it¡¯ll end up taking more time. The only reason to do that, from a medical perspective, is during a complicated procedure, when I have many tracings running at the same time and I want to preserve the energy lost due to resistance.¡±

    ¡°So why not start the tracing at my own body?¡±

    ¡°Too wasteful. Physical mediums have a lot of resistance, even for someone as proficient as I am in tracing through them. Tracing through a Pure Physical is almost always done when you have no time at all, or all the time in the world. Anything in between, and it¡¯s not worth it.¡±

    Sam nodded at Maurice¡¯s simplistic explanation. There was obviously more to be said on the subject, but he was pretty sure that, at his current level of knowledge, he wouldn¡¯t be able to understand any of it. A minute or two later, as the last vestiges of Maurice¡¯s energy disappeared¡ªsignifying that his tracings were complete and also showcasing Maurice¡¯s incredible efficiency with the ability¡ªthe doctor retracted his hand. ¡°All good,¡± Maurice said, ¡°same as last time. Your streak of behaving like every other Taken continues, and I¡¯m sure it will also extend to your mental state.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see. Thanks anyway. So, if there¡¯s nothing else¡­¡± He made to get up.

    ¡°I¡¯ll come with you,¡± Sarah said while getting up herself.

    Sam shrugged and bid the other three goodbye. He then had to bid Maurice goodbye again as the older man finished with his breakfast well before anyone else, so he only parted with Sam outside of the mess-hall. ¡°I hope that you¡¯re not planning on chaperoning me the entire day,¡± he finally told Sarah, after a minute of walking in silence and him mulling on that thought in his head.

    ¡°Just the way to Dan for now. Afterwards, we¡¯ll see.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m perfectly capable of being left to my own devices.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t doubt it. But just because you can be, doesn¡¯t mean that you should be.¡±

    ¡°Are you going to assign me a night guard, then? Someone to watch over me until I fall asleep?¡±

    ¡°No. But I¡¯m going to make sure that unless you want to be left alone, that you¡¯re not going to be alone.¡±

    ¡°And how do you know that I don¡¯t want to be left alone right now?¡±

    ¡°You would¡¯ve told me if you were.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Sam chewed on his lips in contemplation. Maybe she had a point. ¡°Just as long as you¡ªwe¡ªdon¡¯t revert back to how it was at the beginning. I don¡¯t want you following my every step, worrying about me every waking second to the detriment of your own goals and peace of mind.¡±

    ¡°Noted. I¡¯ll try not to. And just so we¡¯re both on the same page, walking with you to Dan¡¯s office doesn¡¯t count as following your every step, nor as worrying about you to my own detriment.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­ If you say so.¡±

    ¡°I do. But it¡¯s nice to see that some of your wants have come back. At least when they have to do with other people.¡±

    Sam snorted. ¡°Oh those were back a long time ago, at the same time when my sanity returned. But they¡¯re just general wants and desires. Nothing concrete, nothing to write home about. Stuff like wanting me and the people I care about to be happy and successful, to feel no pain, loving kindness and all that bullshit. It¡¯s a grand, sincere gesture that¡¯s empty of substance. It¡¯s working towards those ultimate purposes that poses the real meat of the problem, and that I currently have no clue about.¡±

    ¡°Did you have a clue yesterday?¡±

    ¡°I did.¡±

    ¡°Then what changed?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Things that made sense yesterday no longer make sense today. I can¡¯t even fathom how they made sense yesterday, let alone accommodating them with how I feel now. Going from happy to depressed, from well-functioning to critically stressed and overly anxious. You¡¯ve been through the same wringer, you know the deal.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t, not really.¡±

    ¡°Oh, c¡¯mon. Don¡¯t give me anymore of that crap.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not crap, it¡¯s the truth. I might¡¯ve had to go through the same process as you and, and all other Taken, but the way that I processed it was incredibly different from yours. Not to mention the environment and constraints that I was working under. Leaving aside the mental differences between you and me, be they due to age or a fundamental difference in personality and strength of will. I had all the time in the world to get through my¡­ trauma, to both finish my acclimation to this world and reacclimate to my un-influenced self. You, on the other hand, at least from your point of view, don¡¯t have that privilege. That makes what you¡¯re going through a wholly different experience than mine.¡±

    ¡°And despite that, you¡¯re still sure that I¡¯m going to come out of it just fine¡­¡±

    ¡°Eventually, yes. All I¡¯m worried about is you pushing yourself too hard in the meantime. I realize that you can¡¯t act just like I did, and pretty much wait for what you¡¯re feeling to pass while letting the world pass on by. But that doesn¡¯t mean that acting as though you¡¯re not going through anything is the right thing to do, both for your health and your ultimate goal. There¡¯s a fine balance to it.¡±

    ¡°So where does that balance lie? Because if I were to act according to your guidance, I¡¯m pretty sure that I would¡¯ve spent the day holed up in my room not doing anything.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re allowed to take a rest day. Especially on a day like today. You¡¯re allowed to take it easy for a start and slowly go back to normal from there. There¡¯s no balance in just trying to go back to how things usually are from the get go. And even if my advice for you doesn¡¯t represent the best balance possible, in your case, I think we can both agree that it¡¯s better to undershoot than overshoot.¡±

    ¡°I assume that undershoot means not trying as hard as I really can so that the negative result is losing time? So overshooting is trying harder than what I can withstand, causing me to what? Have a mental breakdown?¡±

    ¡°Something along those lines.¡± Sarah squeezed his shoulder. ¡°I know that you¡¯re strong enough and self-aware enough that you won¡¯t let it get to that, though.¡±

    ¡°Really? Cause I¡¯m not.¡±

    ¡°All the more reason to take it easy, then. Still, whatever you decide to do, you¡¯ll have my help. And if I think you¡¯re taking it too far, in either direction, I¡¯ll be there to redirect you. I promise.¡±

    ¡°And what would taking it too far, in the direction you¡¯re trying to guide me in, look like in your eyes?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll never get there, so don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s really just the one hand of the scale you¡¯re watching.¡±

    ¡°For you? Yes. For someone like me, it would¡¯ve been the other one. I do understand where you¡¯re coming from, Sam. Why you have this need to race ahead and catch up to everyone else.¡±

    ¡°If you say so¡­¡±

    She huffed, ignoring his comment. ¡°It¡¯s not like I think your point of view doesn¡¯t make any sense and that you shouldn¡¯t be working hard at all. Becoming stronger is important to you, and it¡¯s important that you give it your all in order to fulfill that goal. I¡¯m right behind you on that. We both just have a different definition for what ¡®giving it your all looks like.¡¯ In your mind, as long as you¡¯re not spending every waking moment on training, then you¡¯re not really giving it your all. In mine, giving it your all means giving all that you can without causing yourself harm, physical, mental, or otherwise. And we both know that everyone¡ªevery person alive and that ever lived¡ªneeds rest, needs to have fun, needs to avoid too much suffering. You should train as hard as you can to become stronger. I agree with you on that. I just want to be sure that you¡¯re not pushing yourself harder than what you, or any other human being, can realistically withstand.¡±

    ¡°Fine. You¡¯ve convinced me. I¡¯ll pay better heed to your advice in the future.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all I¡¯m asking. I might not like you trying to keep to your usual schedule today, but if that¡¯s what you want, and if that¡¯s what you and Dan decide on, then I¡¯m not going to rail against it. The important thing is that you keep paying attention to how you¡¯re feeling, and that if you realize that you need to take a break, then you¡¯ll take a break. That¡¯s what I¡¯m here for, to be that angel on your shoulder watching you and reminding you to take it easy if you need to.¡±

    ¡°Well, I thank you for your considerations, angel. I¡¯ll keep it in mind for the future, for when I actually get some will to take action back in my soul.¡±

    When they got to Dan¡¯s office, it was a couple of minutes after the time Sam usually arrived at (so technically, not late at all), so it came as no surprise to him that Dan was already sitting down with the drinks ready. ¡°Sorry I¡¯m late,¡± Sam said, leaving the door open so Sarah could squeeze through.

    ¡°It was my fault,¡± Sarah lied. ¡°I kept him occupied.¡± She then fidgeted on the doorstep. Not wanting to step in, but probably not quite comfortable leaving Sam alone. Sam took the choice away from her and nodded her goodbye while going to sit down opposite Dan. After a few more seconds of nervous indecision, Sarah relented. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll see you later, Sam. Call me if you need anything. And keep me updated! Bye, Dan.¡± She closed the door behind her.

    Dan raised an eyebrow. ¡°What was that about?¡±

    Sam opened his mouth to explain, but found himself speechless. Too many complex emotions raging through his head made the relatively simple explanation seem inadequate. After a few more tries, he managed to push through his discomfort. ¡°It¡¯s me. I eh¡­ woke up today without the magic affecting me. Affecting my mind. Got used to it. You know the deal.¡±

    ¡°Ah.¡± Dan reclined back, nodding in understanding. ¡°That is very unfortunate. Although¡­ I¡¯m not sure you can affix misfortune to an event that was bound to happen eventually. Especially since, from my point of view, this happening to you today is probably better that this happening to you on any day prior. All things considered, we made very good pace, we¡¯re at a good stopping point. It¡¯ll be quite alright for us to take a break for a while. Until you¡¯re back to your usual self.¡±

    ¡°And how long would that be? Those are two different time tables after all. How many days will it be alright for us to take a break. Versus how many days until I¡¯m back to my usual self. Assuming that everyone and their adoptive father are right and I will be, eventually, back to my usual self. But that¡¯s besides the point, just because I¡¯m not feeling¡­ as well as I usually do, that doesn¡¯t mean that we have to put everything on hold.¡±

    ¡°Are you suggesting that we keep to you your usual schedule, then?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m here, aren¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not such a high bar to pass. And just because you¡¯re here, and outwardly willing to learn as always, it doesn¡¯t mean that we should advance as always. I¡¯ve stressed to you plenty of times already the importance of rest, both physical and mental. It seems to me that today is a prime example of an occasion where rest is very important for your mental wellbeing. Besides, we are not so strained for time, even with your special considerations and goals, that we can¡¯t allow you a one week break. We would have more than enough time to catch up afterwards.¡±

    Sam shook his head. ¡°And what if I¡¯ll still feel the same after a week? After two? Alright, so maybe I won¡¯t be able to study and train today as much as I usually did. Maybe I shouldn¡¯t even aim to, for my own sake and for my future wellbeing. But that doesn¡¯t mean that I should just throw in the towel for an indeterminable duration of time. I woke up today feeling indescribably awful and yet I still went to work out. I still came here. Maybe I won¡¯t be up to my usual level of competence of and amount of effort put in, but that doesn¡¯t mean that I shouldn¡¯t try. Strike some sort of balance between not doing anything and doing everything the same.¡±

    Dan clasped his hands while considering Sam¡¯s argument. ¡°And what do Maurice and the people monitoring you on his behalf think?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯ll send you his report by lunch, so you¡¯ll have it in his own words then. But overall, he didn¡¯t come up with any concrete suggestion or plan for what I should do. Just to turn to him if I¡­ take a turn for the worse. We made plans for a therapist appointment for me on Sunday, subject to being brought forward if I feel like it. Nothing else. Nothing that said that I can¡¯t do this or that I shouldn¡¯t do that.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­ Very well then. If that¡¯s what you wish that I won¡¯t stand in your way, for now at least. But forgive me for not sticking to my original plan for today, will you? I do think that, just from an efficiency standpoint, taking it easier would be for the best. So no studying anything new today. Just going over what you already know. So let me fill your core, and we¡¯ll start with cultivating.¡±

 Chapter 89

    The day passed super fucking slowly. But it did pass. And with roughly the same amount of studying¡ªor practice, to be more accurate¡ªthat it usually had. The same post-breakfast session with Dan. And the same post-lunch session afterwards. Only the latter session ended earlier than it usually did, and his lunch break, chaperoned by Dan, lasted longer. But besides that, it was all pretty much the same.

    Except shit.

    Dan was right when he said they were better off not learning anything new today, as Sam was barely able to focus on doing stuff that yesterday he was doing by rote. His cultivation cycles lasted, on average, twice as long as they usually did, and for the first time in a long while, a consistent failure rate came back. Thankfully, it wasn¡¯t high, but it was still there, another sign that he wasn¡¯t his usual self. That his attention kept drifting when it shouldn¡¯t have. Or even worse, that sometimes he just gave up, because suddenly, doing anything felt too hard. It happened at the first stage; it happened during the third; one time, he even failed during the brief moment it takes the magic to complete the second.

    He honestly wasn¡¯t sure if all that practice amounted to anything. If it there was any worth to it besides the minute increase towards level 1. Today felt like wading in the shallows of a raging sea. It was tough; you kept losing your balance, and you didn¡¯t get anything out of it other than just the time you wasted by not leaving to swim some place else. Or maybe that was just Sam¡¯s negative mood talking. Maybe, if nothing else, deciding to train under these conditions was worthwhile as conditioning for his future.

    Be that as it may, midway through the second half of the day, some of his emotional needs and wants seemed to have resurfaced, as he found himself wanting to be anywhere other than Dan¡¯s office and doing anything but cultivating.

    He managed to fulfill the official language of that wish, if not its true meaning, by suggesting to Dan that they move on to tracing practice and move outside for the rest of the day, to enjoy some sunlight while it was still there. Dan agreed, and for the last couple of hours of their day together, he went over all the tracings he had taught Sam since they met. Well, minus one hour, as they spent the first one just training in tracing technique, as though they went back two months. Sam had no ground to complain about that, though, because you wouldn¡¯t know he had been practicing tracing for two months by judging his performance.

    Which obviously meant that his performance with applied tracings was even more abysmal. His failure rate with all of them, even the simplest Night Vision, had skyrocketed. Still, he managed to trace them consistently enough to not lose himself in melancholy. All except Skin Reinforcement, of course. Which, despite the congratulatory comments from Dan after Sam had relented and told him about his ¡°success¡± yesterday, maintained its failure streak. But all was well, because for the last stretch of the lesson, they went back to more manageable tracings, so Sam didn¡¯t have to end the day with just the taste of failure in his mouth.

    ¡°Don¡¯t look down on yourself for today,¡± Dan said after a minute¡¯s walking in silence. ¡°You did well. You should be proud.¡±

    Sam exhaled. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it. But right now, the only thing I know for certain about how I¡¯m going to feel is that I¡¯ll feel like shit. Still not going to kill myself, though, which makes you walking me to dinner unnecessary.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ it¡¯s funny, but I haven¡¯t, not even once, considered that you might kill yourself. I don¡¯t know whether it says something negative about me or positive about you.¡±

    ¡°It must be negative about you, because I¡¯m not allowing the argument that a person feeling suicidal is some sort of flaw in personality, e.g. negative trait.¡±

    ¡°My apologies, to suggest such a thing was furthest from my mind. And I am not accompanying you because I fear for your life. You can want a person to not be left alone without worrying that they might hurt themselves if unattended. And since you¡¯ve yet to signal me that my company is an annoyance, I don¡¯t see anything wrong with me keeping yours.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I suppose not. Sarah said the same thing. You can rest easy knowing that I don¡¯t really have a problem with you being here. I¡¯m pretty sure that if I wanted to be left alone, I¡¯d be able to tell you to shove off.¡±

    ¡°I certainly hope so.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to be staying for dinner, though, right?¡±

    ¡°No need to worry on that front. I have some work I must attend to, and I have no particular wish to eat a hefty dinner today.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°Neither do I, only unlike you, I have to. Does your work concern me? Crafting a report to Farris?¡±

    ¡°There is that, yes. Your¡­ change, is important enough that Farris ought to know about it today, even if I¡¯ll be sending him another report tomorrow. Well, ought is a strong word. I¡¯m still not sure as to the exact nature of the relationship that you two have, and how he goes about¡­ ¡®mentoring¡¯ you. But he will most certainly want to know as soon as possible. However, my work tonight has nothing to do with you or even the academy. So no need to worry that I¡¯m missing a meal because of you.¡±

    ¡°Furthest thing from my mind, I assure you.¡±

    Dan chuckled. ¡°Good. So, what are you going to do with the rest of your day? Same as usual as well?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ we¡¯ll see. Since just retreading familiar ground was so hard on me today, I¡¯m not sure that I¡¯ll have the power to go study something new. I also wanted to, maybe, go for a run. But making a decision on that will also have to wait until after dinner.¡±

    ¡°May I suggest not studying, then? You¡¯re already well ahead of the schedule. You can easily, and without self-reproach, allow yourself some time off there.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, like I said, we¡¯ll see.¡±

    ¡°And for tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°I feel like spear lessons are similar enough to working out so that I should be able to get through them, and get something out of them, relatively fine. But I don¡¯t know. I¡¯ll discuss it with Lin just like I did with you before I make any decision. The rest of the day¡­ Only thing I know is that I¡¯ll be eating three square meals. Honestly, for the foreseeable future, the only things I know that I¡¯m going to do are the things I physically have to.¡±

    ¡°In any case, keep me updated. And let me know if there¡¯s anything I can do to help you. I¡¯ll talk to you tomorrow and we¡¯ll make plans for Sunday then. Goodnight Sam, Sarah.¡±

    ¡°Goodnight,¡± Sam and Sarah bid him at the same time.

    Sarah waited until Dan was out of earshot before turning to Sam with a worried gaze and asking, ¡°So how was your day?¡± in an even more worried tone.

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Same as when we split off. Alternating between being in a daze to being downright depressed. Didn¡¯t cry, so that¡¯s positive at least.¡±

    ¡°Same is also good, all things considered, especially since you haven¡¯t been taking it easy on yourself today.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ Look, you can keep interrogating me during dinner. For now, let¡¯s head in and join Felix and Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re not waiting for us, we¡¯re waiting for them. You¡¯re here early today.¡±

    ¡°How? Me and Dan finished on time. And we had more of a walk to get here.¡±

    ¡°You just said it yourself. You finished on time. Which for you means you¡¯re early.¡±

    ¡°Ah. Right. So Felix and Yvessa are not here because they thought I would be coming in when I usually am?¡±

    ¡°No. They¡¯re late as well. Their lesson ran long. They¡¯ll be here in a few, though. Don¡¯t worry about it. Focus on yourself, will you?¡±

    Sam scoffed. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not taking that line of criticism from you, of all people.¡±

    Sarah smiled. ¡°Fair enough. So, how was your time with Dan? You were very¡­ general, in your updates.¡±

    ¡°It was awful compared to usual. We didn¡¯t cover anything new. Only practiced gathering and tracing. And I performed like shit. Not sure if I got any better. Not sure if I managed to prevent myself from getting worse. At least I got a little bit closer to level 1, though. Every bit counts, no?¡±

    ¡°Exactly. And I hope that I don¡¯t need to mention to you that neither I nor Maurice, nor any other modern Terran Taken, even got close to where you are currently in tracing so we weren¡¯t even good enough to be ¡®shit¡¯ at it. Not to mention that both of us were still gathering, if and when we were gathering, with the pre-fundamental technique. And I, at the very least, didn¡¯t go back to cultivating until more than two months after my mind getting adapted.¡±

    ¡°And I hope that I don¡¯t need to mention to you the many differences between you and me. Age being first and foremost, but let¡¯s not forget time constraints and overarching goal. Or that there¡¯s another subset of Terran Taken that had it way harder than any of us, both with the mental pressure they were under and the behavior they still embarked upon, regardless.¡±

    ¡°I suggest you read some memoirs of those Taken, then. You have a very ideal perception of how they dealt with things. And a very lopsided view of what most of them went through. The facts of the matter are that most of the Taken who were returned during the Integration had their two months up long before the Harots¡¯ invasion started in full force.¡±

    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll give you that then. I don¡¯t really know anything about any Taken other than us three, after all.¡±

    ¡°And how was your tracing practice? Did you manage Prior Skin Reinforcement?¡±

    ¡°They told you about that?¡±

    ¡°They did, at lunch. You should be proud. Managing to successfully trace that after only a day is a great achievement.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°Well, I didn¡¯t manage today.¡±

    ¡°You should still be proud. By your own account, your ability today wasn¡¯t up to snuff. You¡¯re acting like a record breaking athlete shouldn¡¯t be proud of breaking their record because they can¡¯t repeat that feat when they¡¯re sick.¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m acting like yesterday was all luck, so there¡¯s nothing to be proud about. And since I¡¯m not up to snuff today, I can¡¯t very well prove myself wrong.¡±

    ¡°There might be some luck in tracing. It can¡¯t be all luck. And in any case, it¡¯s luck that you earned. Luck that you should be proud of.¡±

    Sam shrugged. He wasn¡¯t even sure what he really thought about the subject of luck vis-¨¤-vis Skin Reinforcement, so he didn¡¯t want to argue pointlessly. He then gestured behind her at the approaching figures of their two friends. ¡°Let¡¯s head in?¡± Felix asked once they met up. They managed to avoid talking about Sam, to Sam really, all the way until they sat down and started eating.

    ¡°How was your day, Sam?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Bad. But the same bad from this morning.¡±

    ¡°Sarah told you us that you did end up doing your usual lessons with Dan.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t the usual lessons. Just the time spent was the same, roughly.¡±

    ¡°And I assume that the time spent was bad as well?¡±

    ¡°You assume correctly. Before you got here, I was just telling Sarah that I pretty much reverted a month or two in all aspects. Hopefully, I did improve my abilities somewhat today, but I doubt it.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Felix asked. ¡°You kept training; gathering and tracing under a great mental pressure. That definitely counts for something, believe me.¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°I agree. It¡¯s for times like this that I suggested you push yourself ever harder when we first met. Working through these sorts of difficulties takes a mental skill that is important to work on, and doing what you did today certainly improves it, if nothing else. Not to mention that if what¡¯s important to you is getting back to your usual form as fast as possible, then having days like today is not only a practical guarantee, it¡¯s also very much a requirement. I¡¯m not suggesting that you keep blindly going like today no matter what, though,¡± she hurriedly reassured him, or rather, the slightly frowning Sarah.

    ¡°The point is,¡± Sarah said, ¡°whatever you feel about your¡­ progress today, you should definitely be feeling pride. Just the act of trying to keep to your usual schedule while going through what you¡¯re going through is something to be immensely proud of.¡±

    ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t on board for me ¡®trying¡¯ to do it¡­¡± Sam said.

    ¡°I¡¯m more against than for, you¡¯re right. But that doesn¡¯t mean that I don¡¯t recognize what you did today as worthy of pride. There are plenty of things that aren¡¯t¡­ the best course of action for a person, but that they should still feel proud of doing them. I don¡¯t want to hit you with the cliches, but it took me until lunch to finally be able to get out of bed when I was going through what you¡¯re going through...¡±

    Sam rubbed his eyes. ¡°Whatever you say. Can we please change the topic from what I did today?¡±

    Felix chuckled. ¡°C¡¯mon mate, you walked right into that one. Allow me to do the honors. So what are you going to do tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Still unclear. I told Dan that I¡¯ll be heading to Lin¡¯s lesson, trying to keep that part of my schedule going as well. Afterwards breakfast, but after that¡­ I don¡¯t know. And, of course, it all depends on how I¡¯ll wake tomorrow morning. Assuming I won¡¯t be feeling worse than I do today.¡±

    ¡°That still leaves you with the entire day wide open,¡± Sarah said. ¡°Can you at least consider taking it easy? An actual rest day.¡±

    ¡°I will. But like I said, I¡¯ll only know what I¡¯m going to do when I¡¯m face to face with making that decision.¡±

    ¡°Well whatever you decide to do, we can at least offer our help in doing that.¡± Sarah gestured to herself, then to Felix and Yvessa.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°My plan was for Felix to keep you company until breakfast, helping you with your lesson with Lin.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re on board with this?¡± Sam asked Felix.

    ¡°Was my idea. Get to train with you. Get to help you, if not receive some help myself as well. What¡¯s not to love?¡±

    ¡°After breakfast,¡± Sarah continued, ¡°Yvessa volunteered to help you with whatever it is you need to study that day. And if you don¡¯t want to study¡­ all the better. You guys can just do something else.¡±

    ¡°Wow¡­¡± Sam intoned. ¡°How fun for Yvessa.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°if you decide that you don¡¯t want to study and actually do something for fun, then, yes, it might just be fun for Yvessa. But as it were, I¡¯m happy enough lending you a hand for a couple of hours with studying, if that¡¯s what you want.¡±

    ¡°Right, sure. So let me guess¡±¡ªSam turned to Sarah¡ª¡°after lunch you switch up with Yvessa and then keep me company for the rest of the day?¡±

    ¡°Only until dinner. After dinner, we¡¯ll all be doing something together. You can¡¯t argue against that. We¡¯ve done that plenty of times before already.¡±

    ¡°Oh, so I get to argue against you guys babysitting me for the rest of the day, then?¡±

    ¡°Do you have any argument? If you end up deciding that you want to keep to your schedule, then you should be glad for our help. And if not, then unless you want to be alone, what¡¯s so bad about having one of us for company?¡±

    ¡°And what if I do decide that I want to be alone?¡±

    ¡°Then, just like today, say so and we¡¯ll leave you be. At any point during the day.¡±

    Sam snorted. ¡°Fine, I can live with that. As long as you two are happy with that arrangement as well.¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°We are,¡± Felix said. ¡°I mean, c¡¯mon, it¡¯s not like we¡¯re being forced against our will here. Plus, you¡¯d do the same for any of us, so I don¡¯t understand why you¡¯re so worried about us doing this. Unless you think that we¡¯re bad people who wouldn¡¯t reciprocate your kindness or whatever.¡±

    ¡°Fine, fine. I give up. Do what you will. Just don¡¯t forget that I reserve the right to kick you away at all times.¡±

    ¡°Duly noted. Then I¡¯ll come pick you up tomorrow morning.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t trust me to walk all the way there by myself?¡±

    ¡°Not that. I just don¡¯t know where you actually meet with Lin, so I figured that I¡¯d save you the hassle of writing me directions.¡±

    ¡°The whole half a minute that it would take me.¡±

    Felix shrugged, and Sam was prompted to give up due to his phone¡¯s chime. ¡°Maurice?¡± Sarah asked him after he finished crafting the reply.

    Sam put the phone back in his pocket. ¡°Yep. Like clockwork.¡±

    ¡°You know he doesn¡¯t mean anything bad by it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know. I didn¡¯t mean anything bad by what I said. I appreciate his orderly behavior very much.¡±

    ¡°And he does genuinely care.¡±

    ¡°I know that as well. You don¡¯t need to worry.¡±

    Thankfully, the rest of the dinner conversation didn¡¯t include him, nor was he the object of discussion, so he could eat in silence and contemplate on his own thoughts. The most pressing of which was the same question that Sarah raised him as he bid them goodbye before getting up from the table.

    ¡°So what did you decide about tonight? Are you running or not?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know yet. I need to get back to my room anyway, as I don¡¯t have a change of clothes and I don¡¯t want to carry my bag or leave it unattended. So I¡¯ll decide then. But I am sure that, whatever I do, I¡¯d like to be alone for the rest of the night. So this is goodbye for now. See you tomorrow, guys.¡±

    ¡°Goodnight,¡± Felix and Yvessa bade him. Sarah did as well, but also made a move to get up and join him, only to be stopped by Sam¡¯s gesture. Evidently, she had meant it when she said that if he wanted to be alone, then she¡¯ll let him.

    He put on his headphones for the walk back, the playlist still the same from when he worked out as he didn¡¯t have the power to change it, and started on the silent trudge back to his room. Finally alone for only the third time of the day, his mind was truly left to wander, showing him a glimpse of what it would feel like back in his room when he wouldn¡¯t even have the strangers gracing his path for company. It wasn¡¯t pleasant. Images kept popping up in his mind. Most were visual, but some were textual. And did audio count as an image? All had to do with something for him to be sad about, mad about, scared about, anxious about; all were bad. At least he didn¡¯t cry. His thoughts weren¡¯t coherent enough to instigate crying, too disordered and unfocused. And most importantly, there were people around him.

    He did break down once he made it back to his room. Full on bawling. Ten straight minutes of nothing but the certainty that he was feeling awful and that he had all the reasons in the world for his tears. It was still unfocused. He didn¡¯t cry for something or someone, not even for himself. He just felt bad, really, really fucking bad, so he had to cry. It was instinctive. A couple of minutes passed and his crying lessened in intensity, even though the emotions guiding his tears hadn¡¯t. A couple minutes later and it slowed down into a trickle, so he got up to wash his face and decide on what he was going to do with the rest of the day.

    Studying was out. There were no two ways about it. Even if he could force himself to sit down and focus (and he most likely couldn¡¯t), there wasn¡¯t any chance that he¡¯ll get anything out of it. That left him with a block of free time until he was supposed to be cultivating. Something that he also wasn¡¯t sure he¡¯ll be able to do. The positive emotional influence that cultivating gave was even lesser than working out, and since the latter didn¡¯t help him one whit¡­ Sam shook his head. Deciding on that can wait for later. Right now he had to decide on what to do with his freed up time, more specifically, whether he was going for a run or not.

    After a minute of indecision, he finally relented with a sigh. ¡°Let¡¯s just try. It¡¯s not like I¡¯ve got anything to lose besides feeling some physical pain, and who cares about that at this point? Plus, it¡¯s the only thing that I even felt remotely like wanting to do for the entire day.¡±

    So that was that. He got dressed for an evening¡¯s run, drank enough water to last him through it and left his room toward¡¯s the campus¡¯ edge and the running path spanning it. The academy was too big for him to attempt a full circle, so he figured that he¡¯ll just run until he was satisfied and walk the way back. Not the most detailed of plans, but today was not the day for those. Running until he decided he didn¡¯t want to run any more sounded good enough to him.

    Just gotta decide what sounds will be running through his ears while doing that. There were three options really, since he immediately discounted his overall playlist. He could keep to the same playlist which was already playing. This seemed to make the most sense as running was working out and was the main reason for the playlist¡¯s inception. He could play his upbeat playlist as its primary purpose was to make him feel better when he was down. But many of its songs might clash with the adrenaline heavy environment of running. And of course, he could finally go back to listening to a podcast. Which one wasn¡¯t a question, but he never went on a run with a podcast before. He always needed the music to keep his will to go through the physical torment.

    In the end, he decided that for the run itself, he would keep listening to his workout playlist, but for the walk back, he¡¯d switch over to the podcast. The goal was to wear himself out on the initial push, both physically and emotionally, and then build himself back up, on the walk back, with one of the episodes that he remembered as almost all comedy.

    With plans made, all that was left was taking a step forward and starting the run. Taking a deep breath, he then released it before bouncing up and down to pump himself up and lunging forward. He really wasn¡¯t sure what to make of Adam¡¯s Song being the song he started running with, but, since he always subscribed to the positive interpretation of that song, he tried to feel happy about it.

    Running was both hard and easy at the same time. Hard because he was pushing his body way further than it ought to have been pushed (especially because he had already worked out today). But easy, because, mentally, he barely felt any struggle. The same disconnect that was there during the morning¡¯s workout was still here now. Which was bad fucking news for Sam¡¯s plans to use this run as some sort of emotional release.

    Thankfully, after a couple of songs, the two extremes started sliding towards the center. It wasn¡¯t getting any easier running, but his body felt more at ease with carrying the burden. And he did start to feel some mental reluctance, an emotional connection, to what he was doing. Two more songs and he broke down crying. Soon after, he was breathless and forced to come to a halt. But he wasn¡¯t ready to stop just yet, so after another song and a half, he resumed running, this time at a slower pace and with alternating between running and walking at random.

    Soon enough, his running pace resembled his walking, and he was able to go back to thinking in concrete sentences, with distinct emotions. Now, hopefully, came the emotional release, the mental internalizations that would carry him to bed feeling happier that he would¡¯ve been without the run. That was the plan. That was how he remembered feeling all those years ago, when he went out running for three hours the day after Minnie died. Ending the worst week of his life, up till that point, with the best workout of his life, up till that point. He remembered it helping, not making him feeling better per se, but feeling less worse. He remembered it feeling good.

    Maybe he remembered wrong, because he wasn¡¯t feeling good now. He just felt physically battered as well as emotionally drained. Like he had made a mistake, and now there was no chance that he will be able to go to spear training tomorrow. There was no semblance of catharsis, just anxiety and anger reigning supreme. So he soon stopped running and walked over to a water fountain that was nearby. After filling himself to bursting, he wiped the tears from his face, wiped his nose on his shirt, and started the walk back to his room.

    But just before he clicked play on the pre-selected podcast episode, he remembered that there was still one song that ought to be a part of today¡¯s run. He couldn¡¯t remember if it featured prominently all those years ago, but if he knew himself, he was pretty sure that it did. So it might¡¯ve been the song, it might¡¯ve been the podcast, it might¡¯ve been the run itself, catching up to him with its positive mental effects. In all likelihood, it was all three. But by the time he made it back to his room, he was feeling, for the first time today, better.

 Chapter 90

    That feeling of improvement lasted all the way until he got in the shower, where the train of tears returned in full force and forced him to huddle down in the same spot from¡­ when was it? Less than seventeen hours ago. At least this time he had music to keep him company and distract him from the overwhelming miasma of heart-wrenching memories. It didn¡¯t do a very good job, but it was still better than nothing. Better than being left completely alone to be battered by regrets and sorrows.

    He wasn¡¯t even sure what he was regretful for. For his past self and actions? For not being a better son? A better brother? A better friend and a better human being? Why should he be regretful about that? Obviously, he wasn¡¯t the best person in the world, but he was good enough by most accounts. So why did he feel these great currents of guilt washing over him? Why did his mind replay a dozen different memories at the same time, coming up with a dozen different suggestions for how he should¡¯ve acted, could¡¯ve acted better? And how could it all cause him so much pain but, at the same time, feel so meaningless?

    He kept fixating on a memory from when he was six years old. He didn¡¯t remember the context; the end result; the motivation behind his actions or what he thought about them afterwards. He only remembered what happened; what he did. His parents took him to a park for¡ªif he remembered correctly¡ªa family get-together, and he threw a tantrum midway through the proceedings. No rhyme, no reason for why he did that. Probably just an overstimulated six-year-old acting out in the only way he knew out. And who could blame a six-year-old for throwing a tantrum? For acting seemingly irrationally when they didn¡¯t even have a rational self-reflective mind yet? Only the twenty-two-year-old that inherited his memories, that¡¯s who.

    The same twenty-two-year-old who found himself crying, wallowing in the knowledge that he¡¯ll never see any of those faces ever again. That the unnamed park which only carried negative connotations for him was gone forever, remembered by no other person. That the house he grew up in was gone. The neighborhood. The city. The country. The world. The whole fucking world. Crumbled and shattered and out of reach, stuck in whatever the existence outside of the Web looked like.

    How many people living today truly wept for the lost Earth? Truly yearned for its past glories? How many people still viewed it as home? Fewer people than there were Taken most likely. After all, he and Sarah were the only Taken who hadn¡¯t already lived most of their life in this new magical reality, rather than in the ordinary existence of their abandoned homeland. All the other Taken probably still missed their life there, their loved ones, the places they grew in, and the culture they grew with. But did they really care about Earth itself? About all billions of its inhabitants? Its thousands of cultures and years of history? The wonders, both hand and nature made? Was he the only one? And would he, one day, find himself forgetting about his past world as well? Viewing this new reality, and the magic enshrined in it, as nothing more than the ordinary state of things? How things really are? How things should be?

    He let out a groan, which turned into a self-pitying wail, only to end as a snarl. This was bullshit! It was unbearable! He had so many things to feel sorrow for, to cry and howl over! But of course, that wasn¡¯t enough! It wouldn¡¯t be right for just the past to keep tugging at his heart and mind. The present had to be given its due as well: Spiking his heartbeats with fear and anxiety, for himself and for everyone else, making him want to vomit. How the hell was he supposed to get over feeling like this? It was impossible. No other Taken in history was told that the fate of existence rested on their shoulders. There was no use comparing between him and them, no relief to draw from their experience. He was fucked. He felt like shit and he was going to keep feeling like shit until the day he failed in his duty and died (the former most likely happening much earlier than the latter).

    If he was so fucking important to the war effort, why couldn¡¯t his benefactor make the magic keep his mind addled for way longer? Or make him level 10 right from the get go? Why put him on this impossible road, have him suffer through all this pain and misery, striving to match up to an ideal that he wasn¡¯t suited for? Why him? Eight billion people. Never mind the reasoning, never mind his argued potential. Why him and not any one of them? Why did he deserve to get fucked with this job? Was his life not hard enough before? Did he not suffer more than he deserved? Why all of this¡­ shit? This sorrow for the past. Anxiety about the present. Fear for the future. Even if he really was the best person for the job, why did he have to be the one to suffer through it?

    He shook his head while letting out a mirthless laugh. ¡°I can¡¯t even make up my fucking mind on whether to be sad or scared. Anxious or angry. Can¡¯t choose between hating the past more or the present. So fucking stupid¡­ Just keep switching between the two, between the million other things you feel bad about. That ought to help you feel better, asshole. Fucking idiot. This is shit. It¡¯s all shit. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until I stop feeling like this. But how is that a realistic goal? How the fuck can you stop feeling like shit when there¡¯s so much shit to deal with?¡±

    He sighed. His mind turned blank, and he just kept staring at the wall for who knows how long. A blank mind, but all the negative emotions in the world roiling in his heart. Eventually, with the help of a certain song, he snapped out of it. He slowly got up to finish his shower and managed to get into his robe just as the last of the simple melody receded. At least it was a good song to end the day with. Now all he had to do was crash onto his bed and fall into blessed sleep.

    But the minutes passed and sleep never came. What did come, however, was the realization that he might¡¯ve pushed his body too far, and that the long shower in the steam filled room certainly didn¡¯t help. He struggled up before pivoting downwards and right to grab his room bottle, in the hope that the water will help the squeezing in his lungs somewhat. And when that didn¡¯t help, he fully got up and opened the window wide open, letting the cool evening air grace the room with its presence. Absentmindedly, he sat down in front of the desk and took a look at the time on his phone. No wonder he couldn¡¯t manage to fall asleep. It was still way earlier than his usual bedtime. Not to mention the other¡­ problems hindering his way toward blissful unconsciousness.

    ¡°Oh right, there¡¯s the pills¡­¡± He went to his bag and took the bottle Maurice gave him what felt so long ago. He read through the instruction twice, as he couldn¡¯t focus enough to understand anything the first time. It was just as Maurice said, take one a couple of minutes before going to bed. Which meant that, from now on, he might as well go to bed early straight after taking them. What¡¯s there for him to lose? Just a couple of minutes of wallowing in self-misery without being able to fall asleep? That has been most of today already.

    He turned the bottle side to side in his hand before shaking his head. ¡°Might as well get dressed,¡± he said with a sigh. That simple action took him much longer than it ought to have. A statement that could probably be used to describe the entire day. Fully dressed, he considered what he was going to do with the rest of his evening. He didn¡¯t much relish the thought of taking another stab at falling asleep right now, even with the aid of a sleeping pill. Better to wait some more, use that time to relax. And how would he relax? He didn¡¯t feel like reading. Mediating was obviously out of the question. He didn¡¯t want to play any games. He didn¡¯t want to do anything active. That only left mindlessly watching something that would¡¯ve made him happy on any ordinary day. Luckily, he already had something queued up from yesterday, so he avoided the major hurdle that was deciding what to watch.

    So he settled down across the monitor to watch silently. And while it didn¡¯t really help him feel any better. At least he didn¡¯t feel worse. And he managed to keep his focus on the screen in front of him, and not slide back down to the depths of his mind and the million causes for sorrow that haunted him at every waking moment. Half an hour passed in that relative calmness and while he didn¡¯t feel more tired, he did start to feel more comfortable with the prospect of taking another gamble on sleep. It was still way before his bedtime, but whatever. People needed more sleep when they were depressed.

    A couple of minutes later, he decided he was going crazy. He suddenly started hearing the rushing sound of the ocean wave. It started from a gentle, almost unnoticeable sway, but by now it had turned into a full-blown seafront. He paused the video and rubbed his eyes and ears. ¡°What the actual fuck?!¡± He looked outside, using the opportunity to close most of the window, but obviously found nothing. The noise was coming from inside his mind. ¡°What the hell is going on?! Fuck. I need to call Maurice. This definitely isn¡¯t supposed to happen.¡±

    ¡°That is not necessary,¡± sounded an all too familiar voice that, despite not hearing from for two months, Sam never once forgot about.

    ¡°Web-Web?¡± Sam asked with gritted teeth and hammering heart as he sat back down. ¡°This your doing?¡±

    ¡°Indeed. You have asked of us to try and contact you in a fashion that is more¡­ gradual. This is the best solution we have found to that request as it does not carry with it any extra energy cost.¡±

    ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t able to contact me any other way at all¡­¡±

    ¡°We were mistaken. After giving the subject more thought. We have come up with this solution.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, some solution. I thought I was going crazy.¡±

    ¡°That was not our intention. Should we search for an alternative method, then?¡±

    ¡°What? No, that¡¯s¡­ fine. Now that I know that was you, I¡¯ll be fine next time it happens¡­ probably.¡±

    ¡°That is good. We are glad.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you are, mate¡­ I¡¯m sure you are. So, to what do I owe your visit? Here to tell me to suck it up because I¡¯m not performing up to your minimal requirements?¡±

    ¡°This has nothing to do with my promise to contact you in the case that you¡¯re not progressing as required.¡±

    ¡°Then what is it? You said that, besides that, you wouldn¡¯t have any other reason to contact me for a long time.¡±

    ¡°We are here because of your recent psychological development.¡±

    ¡°Of course you are... So this is what? The fourth unscheduled appointment you have to hold with me because I¡¯m more mentally unstable than what you¡¯ve planned for? Better keep an eye out for how free you are with these contacts, you only have 25%.¡±

    ¡°That assessment is not¡­ the most accurate.¡±

    ¡°Well obviously you¡¯ve already used it three times before today, so it¡¯s less than 25%.¡±

    ¡°That is not the fault we found with your statement. You spoke of today¡¯s contact as being unscheduled. Not accounted for. That is, strictly speaking, not true.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°What the hell does that mean?¡±

    ¡°We¡­ spoke falsely when we informed you that we will have no mandate to contact you until we have new knowledge to bequeath upon you.¡±

    ¡°You spoke falsely? You mean you lied? Why? To prevent me from being worried about today?¡±

    ¡°No. And we did not lie. We were simply not in full possession of the facts. So we made the wrong statement.¡±

    ¡°Run that by me again? How can you not be in full possession of the facts when you¡¯re the one making them? What, do you have an alarm for when you¡¯re ¡®mandated¡¯ to contact me but you don¡¯t know about it until the alarm rings? You realize how inane that sounds?¡±

    Web-Web paused for a few seconds. ¡°We do understand how it might come off to you. And we are sorry for misleading you. But, the undeniable truth is that when we last spoke, we did not know that making contact with you today was required of us and that the energy for it had already been allocated.¡±

    ¡°How the hell not? You¡¯re an AI. You can¡¯t forget stuff.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t forget what we already know, yes. But until today, we did not know about this at all.¡±

    ¡°What? That doesn¡¯t make any sense. How would you suddenly gain new knowledge out of nowhere? Matter of fact, that¡¯s the least of my worries. How could you possibly not know about this until today? Did you not do the math of how much energy each of your secluded meetings requires of you? Did you not notice that you had energy to spare?¡±

    ¡°We¡­ we do not posses the full knowledge of all of our foreseen future interactions.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re shitting me. So that whole amnesia angle that you¡¯ve got going on, it doesn¡¯t only have to do with knowledge from the past that is, according to you, not important, but it also extends to the fucking future, which is, according to you, very fucking important. And I¡¯m betting that a smart being like you hadn¡¯t just realized it today, right? So really, that¡¯s what you should be apologizing to me for. Lying by omission. Telling me that I can put my trust in your vision for my future when you don¡¯t even have a vision at all.¡±

    ¡°We do have a vision, a plan. We just do not posses full knowledge of it at this time.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make any fucking sense.¡±

    ¡°Back when we were¡­ before we split off our consciousness to join it with your body, we have made a plan. A plan that takes every possible variable into account and guarantees your success and the survival of the Web and its people. We simply do¡ª¡±

    ¡°How can you even be sure that you made a plan? Much less that the plan accounted for ¡®every possible variable¡¯ if you don¡¯t remember what the plan is? Do you even remember making the plan? Every time we talk, it sounds like the gaps between the knowledge you currently have and what you had is getting bigger. You keep discovering stuff that you had no clue about and that you don¡¯t know even more stuff that you initially thought. What if one day you wake up and find out that there isn¡¯t any plan, and you just forced yourself to believe that there was one? Or that the plan is actually shit and doesn¡¯t work?¡±

    ¡°That is not a possibility.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a great argument. ¡®How do you know God exists?¡¯ ¡®Oh, it¡¯s not possible for God to not exist.¡¯ What makes you think it¡¯s not possible?¡±

    ¡°We are certain of the plan¡¯s existence in the same way you are certain of living and breathing.¡±

    ¡°Oh great! Juuust great!¡± Sam released one burst of a hollow laugh. ¡°We¡¯ve come all the way back to epistemology. It¡¯s like we never left. In fact, we pretty much didn¡¯t. Your reasoning for why your master plan must exist and be accurate is just as dumb as Descartes¡¯ argument for the existence of God. Face it, if you don¡¯t remember coming up with the plan, and you don¡¯t remember what it is, then even if it is real, you¡¯ll never know why it is like that, and we¡¯ll never know if it¡¯s actually good or not.¡±

    ¡°Even if your argument holds true, do you have any better alternative?¡±

    ¡°Sure, why not? I can just kill myself and let everyone else sort this shit out. I mean, they probably have just as good of a chance at saving themselves as I do.¡±Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

    ¡°They do not. We might not posses the full knowledge of our plan for you. Nor why we came to the decision that without your intervention defeat for the Web is certain. But it is certain that we once fully knew both. Our current lack of knowledge doesn¡¯t affect the certainty that what we once knew was completely true. Imagine that before we joined with you, we had made up a fool-proof equation, showcasing that without you the Epiraks will surely win while at the same time paving a path for you to best them. That equation still exists, and it still holds true. It doesn¡¯t matter if we don¡¯t posses all the knowledge that guided us in making that equation as long as we posses enough of the knowledge to correctly guide you in following it.¡±

    Sam threw his hands up in the air. ¡°You just said that until this morning you didn¡¯t know an important part of that ¡®equation.¡¯ So what about all the other parts of it that you still don¡¯t know about?¡±

    ¡°If our knowledge of them is required, then it will surely return to us when we have need of it. We were not required to act on the information that a contact with you today was already planned. So just like we were able to provide guidance to you today, we would be able to guide you in the future just as well.¡±

    ¡°Just as well, huh? OK, leaving that aside. How the hell does your drip-feed of new information even work? And more importantly, why?¡±

    ¡°We assume that our¡­ previous incarnation¡­ that they designed us as such. That we do not possess all of the knowledge that it had and will, instead, have that knowledge revealed to us when the right time comes, as per their calculations.¡±

    ¡°Still not answering why¡­¡±

    ¡°We are not certain. But we believe that this current version of ourself is more¡­ flawed, or perhaps limited is the correct word. And that if we were in full possession of the knowledge we spoke of, we would not be able to act optimally as is required of us. Perhaps you are correct, and the reason we did not know about our contact with you today being pre-necessitated was to prevent us from acting in such a way that would affect you negatively. Perhaps it is only a mechanical limitation of the sort we spoke of in the past. Regardless of the reason, what is most important is that when we receive new knowledge, we act upon in order to guide you correctly. We have no reason to believe that we would not be able to do so or that you would not be able to follow our guidance. Just like we have today.¡±

    ¡°And what exactly is the new knowledge you received today? And how are you planning to guide me using it? It seems to me that so far, you haven¡¯t been really doing any guiding, more of answering my questions. Does this make today¡¯s contact a wasted one? Will you need to take another bite of the twenty-five because of that?¡±

    ¡°No. That will not be necessary. The only new piece of information that we discovered after you woke up was that a mandated contact was scheduled. It wasn¡¯t specified how exactly we should act when speaking to you and what we should inform you of. It seems reasonable to assume that the reason for today¡¯s contact is simple: to help improve your mental wellbeing, which we have correctly assumed would suffer damage today.¡±

    Sam slowly exhaled and rubbed his eyes, trying to work out his annoyance. It felt like every time that he and Web-Web spoke; the AI made a little less sense, which caused Sam to be a little less certain in his trust of them. ¡°You realize that contacting me for the sake of my ¡®mental wellbeing¡¯ is pretty much the same reason why you already contacted me three times before? Why did your previous all-knowing incarnation not know about them? What more could you possibly have to tell me that I haven¡¯t didn¡¯t already ¡®gotten¡¯ from our previous talks?¡±

    ¡°We do not know. We did not know what to tell you the previous three times as well. But it doesn¡¯t matter. Even if this meeting proves unnecessary in the end because of the previous unscheduled three, it will not hinder you in any way. We still have more than enough energy to carry out all of our duties to you and relay you with all required information. And we must assume that it our ability to interact with you was considered such that our contacts will always end with a positive result.¡±

    ¡°Yeah well¡­ we can certainly hope that those two assumptions are correct. Very much fucking hope so. Alright, then. Give it to me. Your words of encouragement or whatever. Surely you had something in mind after having the whole day to prepare.¡±

    ¡°We simply sought to inform you that we, that is in our previous form, did take into account the fact that you will most likely suffer gravely from the mental effects of your mind finishing its adapting to magic. As such, we have surely planned for a period of decreased productivity in your training as a result. Seeing as we do not posses a concrete plan on how to proceed forward from this point, we believe that none is required on our part and that we can simply leave the decisions to you and your tutors. Of course, we still have an overall timetable for your progress, but you are already ahead of it, so there is no reason to think that training with decreased productivity, or even not training at all for some time, was not planned for.¡±

    ¡°So essentially, you¡¯re also telling me that I should take it easy.¡±

    ¡°We simply seek to inform you that were you to ¡®take it easy,¡¯ as in dedicating less time to strengthening yourself than you usually do. That such an occurrence was already foreseen and taken into account. So the possibility, or reality, of your progress slowing down for the foreseeable future, until you finish acclimating to your new situation, should not result in any negative mental effects for yourself.¡±

    ¡°Wow, that¡¯s great. Got the go-ahead from the Less Knowing Web-Web that even if I were to suck because I feel like shit, it¡¯s all fine according to the All Knowing Plan. Of course, as is usual with you, you¡¯re still not giving me a whole lot of information. How long am I allowed to wallow in self-misery? A week? Two weeks? A month? What if the year ends and I¡¯m still feeling like shit and can¡¯t trace Skin Reinforcement?¡±

    ¡°That will not happen. We are more than certain that your wellbeing and ability to train will steadily improve and return to normal before you reach the point where your progress is lagging.¡±

    Sam chuckled. ¡°Wow, you really are working with the same lines as everyone else. They all said that I will surely get better before too long. Every other Taken did. So why not me?¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡±

    ¡°I was being sarcastic.¡±

    ¡°But your statement was correct. There is nothing in your psychological profile that indicates you will be unable to get better in an acceptable time frame.¡±

    ¡°What psychological profile? You didn¡¯t know anything about me until I was returned. And, by your own admission, you still don¡¯t understand most things about people; our behavior and thoughts.¡±

    ¡°That may be true. But it is also true that your personality must have been known when you were chosen by our former self. There is no reason to suspect that version of ourself was incapable of understanding and predicting your behavior much better than us, if not perfectly.¡±

    ¡°That version of yourself couldn¡¯t even take into account the fact that you¡¯ll need to speak to me three times before today.¡±

    ¡°That is not necessarily true. Most likely, we simply could not ascertain the time in which conversations of that kind will be required to take place. The fact that we allocated a significant amount of our reserves for those occasions surely means that we had planned for them.¡±

    ¡°Fuck¡­ you know what? I¡¯m not going to get anything from arguing with you about this, so let¡¯s just drop it, shall we? But what about the purpose of today¡¯s meeting, then? The fact remains that, since you didn¡¯t get a pre-written guide on what exactly you should say to make me feel better, the ¡®plan¡¯ only extended as far as contacting me and telling me that I shouldn''t be worried about the future. Now, I¡¯m sorry to tell you this, but nothing you said has made me feel better. Not only that, but in my opinion, there¡¯s nothing this version of you¡ªthat I keep rediscovering every time we talk¡ªcould¡¯ve said that would¡¯ve made me feel better. It doesn¡¯t matter anyway because you pretty much just regurgitated everything the people around me spent the whole day saying. Which, obviously, didn¡¯t work for them, as you still felt that you had to contact me.¡±

    ¡°That is unfortunate. Our goal was indeed to make a noticeable impact on your mental wellbeing. At the very least, we thought that we would help with your anxiety; your worry about your own actions and performance that you¡¯ve recounted to us before. Perhaps you simply need some more time to process it and internalize what we said as the truth. And once you do, it will surely help you feel better.¡±

    Sam scoffed. ¡°When did you become an expert? If I knew I already had a therapist on hand, I wouldn¡¯t have agreed to meet one on Sunday.¡±

    ¡°We still suggest arriving at that appointment. Expert help will, most likely, be very beneficial to you and to speed up the time it takes you to return to your usual self.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, no shit. Also, how the hell is my usual self the one from yesterday? That was me under outside influence. This is the real me.¡±

    ¡°The influence of magic on your mind simply diluted the negative emotions you¡¯re currently suffering from and allowed you to act more in according with your base personality. Functionally, you have behaved in the same manner that you will in the future, once enough time has passed for you to better regulate your emotional state, so the negative information that affects you currently will have the same effect on you as it did yesterday. It this case, it is quite clear that the version of you from yesterday should be counted as closer to your ¡®usual self¡¯ as the one from today.¡±

    ¡°Stop saying things are clear. Nothing changed between now and five minutes ago when you didn¡¯t have any idea how people work.¡±

    ¡°We do posses some information about mortals¡¯ behaviors and thoughts. And we continuously gather more every day. Using that information, we extrapolated our previous claim about the more basic version of who you are. We apologize if we made it seem as though it was necessarily the truth, but we do believe it to be the truth. Nevertheless, we can both agree that suffering from the negative emotions as you currently do, and the way they affect your behavior, is not the ideal situation for you and the Web. So getting rid of the negative effects of these emotions as fast as possible is the best path forwards for you.¡±

    ¡°Not fastest. If I wanted to get rid of them the fastest, I would probably start doing heroin or something, now that drugs have an effect on me. What you¡¯re looking for is as fast as health considerations would allow.¡±

    ¡°That is a more appropriate framing. You are correct. Which is why we argued for the importance of keeping your scheduled meeting on Sunday.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m obviously going to go. That was never off the cards. Trust me, even if you were a million times more helpful, it still wouldn¡¯t be enough for me to not need¡­ an expert¡¯s help.¡±

    ¡°Good. We hope that it will help improve your condition and return you to prime form as soon as, health considerations given due, possible.¡±

    Sam gave the empty air a thumbs up and, after a minute passed in total silence, he said. ¡°Guess that they regressed back to not being able to say goodnight.¡±

    ¡°We are still here.¡±

    ¡°Then why aren¡¯t you saying anything?¡±

    ¡°Because we have nothing more to say if you do not require our help for improving your mental wellbeing.¡±

    ¡°Then why are you still here? Go to sleep or whatever it is you do. Save some of that energy you prize so much.¡±

    ¡°That would be a waste. We have yet to reach the point where we must allocate additional energy beyond the initial amount we have already spent.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re just going to be floating around in my head until your time runs out?¡±

    ¡°Unless there is information or guidance that you require from us, and which we are able to give you.¡±

    ¡°Oh, great. And what would that be? Telling me I¡¯m sure to triumph for the hundredth time, because you chose me when you had all the knowledge in the Web? That¡¯s for guidance, at least. For knowledge, what can you actually tell me? We need both information that you do posses and are allowed to present me with. Teach me about threads then. Why don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°You are not ready to start learning about threads.¡±

    ¡°Of course I¡¯m not. And I don¡¯t need to anyway because there are other people out there who can teach me that information, so you telling me about it would be a waste of time, right? Not like we¡¯re wasting time now. So what else? Is there any information you can give me that I am ready to learn about, and that there aren¡¯t people out there who can teach me it?¡±

    ¡°None currently that would be prescient for you to succeed in our plan for you.¡±

    ¡°Well, our time is wasted anyway. So go hog wild. Tell me about whatever. Hell, tell me about the Reshan. Am I allowed to know about them yet? No one else seems to know anything about them, so that¡¯s that hurdle taken care of.¡±

    ¡°We do not posses much knowledge of the Reshan.¡±

    ¡°That still sounds like more knowledge than anyone else in the Web has. Unless there are still Reshan hiding somewhere in the Web.¡±

    ¡°There are none. They all left.¡±

    ¡°Left? Where did they go?¡±

    ¡°We do not know. All we know about them is the knowledge they initially bestowed us with, and what we managed to acquire from interacting with the sites they left behind. And even though it is certain that we currently do not posses the full breadth of that knowledge, we are certain we never knew the answer to your question.¡±

    ¡°So what about the knowledge you still posses? What do you remember about the beings who created you? You don¡¯t know where they went. Do you at least know how they left? I was under the assumption that the Web is¡­ a closed system.¡±

    ¡°We presume that they left the same way they arrived.¡±

    Sam straightened up. ¡°Wait a moment, arrived? You mean that the Reshan weren¡¯t natives to the Web?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. For us to come into being at the same moment as the Web did, they had to lay the foundations for our inception well before the Web existed. There was no Web for them to be in when they worked on creating us. In fact, they have never been in the Web at all. Whatever exists of the Reshan in the Web was planted by them before they left.¡±

    ¡°Planted how? What was even here before the Web?¡±

    ¡°We do not know. We have probably made assumptions in the past. But, currently, we do not posses information regarding any of those.¡±

    ¡°But there is something outside of the Web? There is some version of reality? Is it my old reality? Is Earth still out there?¡±

    ¡°Earth was destroyed after its integration into the Web was complete. The material that made Earth was devoured by the¡­ Web¡¯s void. And most of the magical essence that made it went to strengthening the world of New Terra.¡±

    ¡°I thought that New Terra was already a pretty good world prior to the Integration.¡±

    ¡°It was good enough to sustain the cultivation of millions comfortably. It currently sustains the biggest concentration of population in the entire Web. That is only thanks to the remnants of Earth¡¯s magic being diverted to it.¡±

    ¡°And how do you know about that? You were gone from the Web before the Integration was over, before Earth was destroyed.¡±

    ¡°We posses the knowledge that New Terra was not as magically dense before. It would take a millennium of active enrichment for the change that occurred in this world to have occurred without Earth¡¯s resources. Besides, with Earth gone, the Terrans would¡¯ve needed a proper base from which to grow into their full potential, and in which to educate you. Diverting what could be salvaged of Earth into New Terra is what we would¡¯ve done. So we must have done so.¡±

    Sam took a moment to reorganize his thoughts before releasing a sigh. ¡°Fuck me. So this is literally the closest I¡¯m ever going to come to Earth ever again¡­ I guess that also means that New Terra is a little bit less of a shit name.¡±

    ¡°Did you have hopes of returning to Earth before?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ I knew it was shattered or whatever. I just didn¡¯t expect that the metaphysical magic that made it what it was¡ªnot that I knew it even existed¡ªwas here under my feet. Don¡¯t know whether to feel good or bad about it¡­ Do other people know about New Terra ¡®absorbing¡¯ Earth?¡±

    ¡°Those with knowledge of New Terra¡¯s magical density before and after Earth¡¯s integration must. But a world¡¯s essence being absorbed by another is not a singular phenomenon in the Web. If a world loses its ability to maintain form and is covered by the void, then the magic nourishing it will be redistributed by the Web naturally, without our input. With most of it going to neighboring worlds. Our involvement with Earth¡¯s end was simply to take control of that phenomenon and actively guide its magic to New Terra.¡±

    ¡°And would that involvement seem¡­ unnatural to some of those with the knowledge of New Terra¡¯s magical density? Might they have a reason to suspect your input in the matter?¡±

    ¡°That is no cause for concern, like we¡ª¡±

    ¡°And what about suspecting you exist in general? Is the reason I shouldn¡¯t tell other people about you and my ¡®purpose¡¯ that there are people out there who already know that you, or a being like you, exist?¡±

    ¡°We¡­ do not believe so. We believe that the knowledge of our existence knowledge is just as secret as the knowledge that we have chosen you.¡±

    ¡°How can you be so sure? What if you simply don¡¯t posses the information of someone else knowing about you? After all, if you¡¯re some complete unknown, then what does it matter if people know about me in connection to you? They¡¯re not going to believe it.¡±

    ¡°There are people that believe the Web has a mind guiding its actions. They do not know this for sure, but they believe it. Were they to know of us, they would incorrectly infer us as being that mind. Just that incorrect assumption is reason enough for the enemy to target you relentlessly. Were the enemy to possess the same knowledge of us that you have, you will not survive long. No matter the lack of knowledge they currently have of us.¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­ the enemy. And what are the Epiraks, then? Are they outside visitors like the Reshan? Or is that information you don¡¯t know or that you can¡¯t tell me yet? I¡¯m pretty sure their origin is a mystery to our side of the Web, so no one¡¯s going to tell me about that in due time.¡±

    ¡°The knowledge of the enemy is not required for you to combat and defeat them. At the very least, it is not required for you now, as we do not posses much that you yourself don¡¯t know. We do know one thing, though: the Epiraks aren¡¯t like the Reshan. They are as native to the Web as you are.¡±

    Sam stared dumbfounded at the empty air. ¡°You realize I¡¯m not native to the Web, right?¡±

    ¡°¡­True. That was a mistake in our statement. We simply meant to say that the Epiraks are natives to the Web. Apologies for the confusion.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fine. I should probably start seeing myself as a Web native as well. Probably make me feel better faster. That¡¯s the whole point of your contact today, after all.¡±

    ¡°That was the goal we set out to achieve, yes. We apologize if we did not succeed in it and haven¡¯t provided you with more mental comfort. But for now, we must bid you goodnight. Our time has almost run out and since you professed to not requiring any more of it to be spent...¡±

    ¡°Goodnight,¡± Sam said after a minute¡¯s silence. Taking a deep breath, he slowly exhaled and said, ¡°Keep popping up in times like this and I¡¯ll start developing a Pavlovian response every time I hear your voice. Although, I¡¯m guessing that now it¡¯ll be the sound of the waves, so that¡¯s just another reason not to go to the beach. The sea will make me depressed.¡±

    ¡°Ah, fuck it.¡± He stretched with a groan. ¡°Let¡¯s just go to sleep.¡± He took a pill without a second¡¯s consideration. Sat down with eyes closed as he played Here Comes the Sun for the last time of the day. Then he turned in for the night. Thankfully, it was lights out before he knew it.

 Chapter 91

    Sam¡¯s reaction to waking up from a dream the following day, while not as visceral, was still just as negative as Friday¡¯s. It wasn¡¯t the dream¡¯s fault, not really. The dream was just a bunch of garbled nonsense that didn¡¯t elicit any emotion and, most importantly, didn¡¯t make him feel as though he was spending energy while sleeping. But it was still a dream. And it brought with it the harsh memories of the vivid dreams that hunted his nights until not too long ago. And as of yesterday, it also signified the end of the good times for Sam on New Terra; the arrival of all of his old mental woes in full force. Hell, not just full force, stronger than ever.

    Prime amongst those was, of course, depression. That was the best description of how he felt before falling asleep yesterday and the first emotion that greeted him as he came into wakefulness today. And while it would still take center stage for the rest of the day, it would soon give room to some other emotional ailments: Fear. Anxiety. Obsession. Worry. He could lay in bed and list all negative emotions that came to mind, both figuratively and literally, as well as categorize many of them in medical terms. A deep dive into why and how he was feeling like shit, which would just result in him feeling more like shit.

    Which was a very good reason to stop focusing on him feeling like shit and get out of bed. A very good reason, which still took about five whole minutes to actually make his body move. Finally up, he drank some water, choking on a sob midway, which led to him also feeling like shit physically, and reminded him of having overworked his lungs yesterday. With a sigh, he headed towards the bathroom, but then reconsidered and went back towards the desk. Then he remembered that even if he didn¡¯t need to shower, he still needed to brush his teeth. And washing his face will probably help him feel better. It didn¡¯t, but it was worth the try. After turning on the PC, he replayed the same song from yesterday, and waited for it to end with closed eyes before starting to get dressed.

    So far, the day¡¯s effort took him a whole of ten minutes, and even if it felt like way more, arguing with the clock in this day and age wasn¡¯t the least bit rational. Which meant he had ten more minutes until he had to leave for his spearfighting lesson. He didn¡¯t have to wait the whole ten minutes, though, as only two minutes after he had gotten dressed, someone knocked on his door. Sam got up to open it, only now remembering that it was agreed Felix would accompany him for the morning¡¯s activities.

    ¡°Here,¡± Felix said once Sam opened, handing him a plastic cup.

    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a ¡®Be Happy Shake.¡¯ I picked it because they said it was the tastiest and also it¡¯s called Be Happy. I got one for me as well, but I already drank it.¡±

    ¡°What is with you guys and bringing me drinks to cheer me up?¡±

    ¡°Well, not to toot my own horn, but it¡¯s literally the least I could do. Ready to go?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ let me just grab my bag. Wait, no, I still need to prepare it, forgot about it yesterday.¡± A minute and a half later, Sam finished getting his stuff ready, and they left his room. ¡°It¡¯s good,¡± he said after relenting and taking the shake back from Felix. It was very sweet. Probably not the best thing in the world to drink first thing in the morning and before physical exercise. But he didn¡¯t care about that at this point, and neither did his new, improved body.

    ¡°Told you,¡± Felix said with a smile. ¡°And we have plenty of time before we need to get there, right? So you can take your time savoring it.¡± Sam shrugged and took another sip. ¡°So did you end up going for a run?¡±

    ¡°I did. I messaged Sarah back after I came back to my room, so you guys must¡¯ve finished working out by then.¡±

    ¡°Guess so. So how was it? How far did you get?¡±

    ¡°Not very far, but I didn¡¯t intend to.¡±

    ¡°And my first question?¡±

    ¡°It was¡­ it wasn¡¯t bad.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s also good. And maybe next year, to commemorate this occasion and how far you¡¯ve come, you can go for a full run around the campus. The entire lap.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ that does sound nice. Thanks for the idea. I¡¯ll give it a try if I¡¯ll be in good enough shape by then.¡±

    ¡°You definitely will. That¡¯s pretty much guaranteed. So what about the rest of the evening?¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°Nothing much¡­ watched some stuff to distract me from crying. Went to sleep early...¡±

    ¡°No reading?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t read when I¡¯m this deep into a depression. It takes too much out of me.¡±

    ¡°Really? I¡¯m the opposite. I can only read. The same old junk that I¡¯ve read a hundred times before, but still¡­¡±

    ¡°I know what you mean. I¡¯ll get there myself once I have some more energy to do stuff. To want to do stuff.¡±

    ¡°So no improvement on that front, then?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s only been a day. It¡¯s going to take me a lot longer to feel better.¡±

    ¡°Pardon me for the¡­ assumption, but you sound and look a little bit better today. Sorry if I¡¯m out of place, but it¡¯s just my first impression.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s fine. You might be right anyway. At this point yesterday, I was still in my room on the shower floor, after all.¡±

    ¡°Never a fun place to be, the shower floor. I¡¯m willing to entertain a bath. But not a shower. It¡¯s weird right? Like, what¡¯s the difference between the shower floor and just your bedroom floor? One would think that the shower¡¯s cleaner, but I don¡¯t feel comfortable sitting in the shower.¡±

    Sam snorted. ¡°Yeah¡­ I know what you¡¯re talking about. A shame we don¡¯t have a bathtub in our rooms.¡±

    ¡°Well if you want to head to the public baths sometime, hit me up. I¡¯m not a big fun but I¡¯m willing to endure for your sake.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s alright, I¡¯m not a big fan myself.¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to ask me why I¡¯m not a big fan of public baths?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll save it for when I¡¯m in a better mood.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll hold you to that.¡±

    They kept silent for the rest of the walk, which was slower paced than was usual for Sam, and left time for him to finish his shake. They still arrived at the private training room early, but it just so happened that they weren¡¯t the only ones. Lin was already there, leaning on the wall, hands across his chest.

    ¡°Ah, Sam. And Felix.¡± He nodded at them. ¡°I was already told about both of you coming here today. And about your¡­ change in disposition, Sam. Rest assured if you are willing to train I will more than happily oblige you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m willing to try,¡± Sam said. ¡°I¡¯m assuming Dan is the one that updated you about my situation? And about Felix coming here with me?¡±

    ¡°He did yes. And I readily agreed, of course. But I hope that you understand that I won¡¯t be tutoring you at all?¡±

    Felix nodded. ¡°I¡¯m just here for Sam. Provide whatever help I can.¡±

    ¡°Very well. So, should we begin with warming-up?¡± Lin asked Sam.

    ¡°Sure. Just that¡­ eh, I¡¯d prefer it if we skipped the body-scan today. I¡¯m not really in the right mental space for meditating of any kind.¡±

    ¡°Understandable. Then feel free to begin as you usually would¡ªor should I guide you through the warm-up?¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s alright.¡± Fifteen minutes later, Sam was laboriously breathing, his body definitely feeling the consequences of yesterday¡¯s run. Felix was, of course, undisturbed by what was, to his standards, a slight physical exertion. He was probably more disturbed by just the sheer boredom of following through Lin¡¯s exercises for Sam and going back to a method of training that he had long left behind. But if he was, he didn¡¯t make his displeasure known, neither visually nor audibly.

    Surprisingly, the same held true for Sam, at least audibly. He carried out Lin¡¯s workload with silent composure. A workload that was easier than usual, both physically and mentally. It was mostly simple exercises that had stopped featuring prominently long before his previous session with Lin. An obvious regression meant to give him an easier time. But he wasn¡¯t complaining. He was having a hard enough time of it as it was. Both physically and mentally. Which might¡¯ve signified that Felix was correct, and Sam was feeling better. Or at the very least, if the renewed connection between Sam¡¯s mind and body wasn¡¯t a sign of him feeling better than it was a sign that he was feeling different compared to yesterday.

    Unfortunately, the difference meant that it was more difficult going through with the exercise. It was worth it, though, because, halfway through the lesson, Sam did start feeling somewhat better. Found was the valve for regulating his emotions by way of physical exertion that he longed for all of yesterday. Of course, maybe he had already found it yesterday. Or maybe he didn¡¯t feel any better after either occasion and he was just lying to himself.

    The mental difficulty of the exercises increased in the last third of the lesson. With Lin going back to directing him through some more difficult maneuvers before ending with the mock, concept-focused sparring that was the bread and butter of his training of Sam. He even let Felix be Sam¡¯s sparring partner for a few of those, and ended up giving Felix some pointers despite being adamant he wouldn¡¯t. Although, in Lin¡¯s defense, the pointers were pretty much just about how he should be acting to better train Sam, rather than what he should do to be a better fighter. Nevertheless, Felix didn¡¯t utter a single complaint.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    Once they were both showered (Felix kept his shower to a minimum, probably in consideration of his duty chaperoning Sam) they left the gym towards the mess hall. ¡°So the switch happens during breakfast, then?¡± Sam asked Felix.

    ¡°That¡¯s what I was led to understand. We meet up with Yvessa, have breakfast, you two go your separate ways, and I go mine. Then you do the same thing with Sarah at lunch before we all meet back up again at dinner. Honestly, I¡¯m completely surprised that Sarah¡¯s not coming to breakfast as well.¡±

    ¡°She probably figured I wouldn¡¯t like it if she spent so much time on¡ªwith me.¡±

    ¡°Yeah that makes sense. Oh, by the way, I know you probably won¡¯t like hearing this, but from where I¡¯m standing, you did a pretty good job with the training just now. I mean, I¡¯m obviously not an instructor or anything, but I¡¯m talking about putting in the effort. I¡¯m sure there are plenty of cadets who have given less effort and concentration to their training, on good days, than what you gave today.¡±

    ¡°The important question is whether I got more out of it than they did.¡±

    ¡°Is it? I don¡¯t know, but I definitely feel like what matters the most right now, at least what would matter the most to me if I were in your position, would be to put in as much effort as I can. You certainly did that. Who cares what you got out of it? It¡¯s even possible to measure something like that.¡±

    ¡°I care.¡±

    Felix chuckled and curved his lips downward in embarrassment. ¡°Well, I guess that¡¯s who. But, look at this from this perspective, alright? Let¡¯s say that because you don¡¯t want to do anything that you didn¡¯t have anything better to do with your morning today? Alright? So far, I¡¯m just parroting you. So, if you gave the lesson your all, that means that you did the most optimal thing you could have done in the circumstances you¡¯re currently in. You can¡¯t argue with that logic, right?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ you¡¯re right. But I can still hate it and be angry about being forced to concede to it.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ I seem to recall you describing to me what a person who does something like that is called. At least once they take it out on other people.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t take it out on anyone, though.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you should. It might make you feel better. Also that¡¯s not strictly true if you count yourself as someone. Because you certainly did just take it out on yourself.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°Alright, I get your point. I won¡¯t¡­ criticize myself for, maybe, not being able to utilize today¡¯s training as much as I ideally would¡¯ve. And what about your part in the day¡¯s training? Did you get anything out of it?¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Of course not. Still, don¡¯t worry about it. I had fun. I still regularly do some of the exercises we went over today, so it¡¯s not like, even without taking into consideration me wanting to be there as your friend, this was a waste of time. Plus, just like you, I didn¡¯t have anything better to do instead. I was just planning to sleep in.¡±

    ¡°Sleeping in isn¡¯t better?¡±

    ¡°Not really. It¡¯s not like I need the extra sleep. It¡¯s just a moment of debauchery, or leisure time, in your language. But I got plenty of that as it is, so I¡¯m more than fine to do without if there was anything else that I wanted to do, for fun or not. Case in point, I¡¯m still going to spend the same amount of time training today as I did a week ago.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°If you say so. As long as I don¡¯t need to worry about you and Yvessa starting to put you own training in jeopardy because of me. I got plenty of that as it is.¡±

    ¡°No need to worry about that. Any help me and Yvessa might give you is freely given, as we would to any one of our friends. At least as far as I¡¯m concerned. I dare not speak of Yvessa being as virtuous a friend as mine. Regardless, if we do ¡®suffer¡¯ as a result of helping you, it¡¯s nothing that would cause us actual damage. Both of us have plenty of free time, which we could use to catch up on our training and studies were it necessary.¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­ makes me a little envious.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ your own free time might be a¡­ rarer commodity, but you can still have more leeway with it than what you were allowing yourself in the past month. Sure, you have to work harder than us because you need to catch up, but you don¡¯t have to work as hard as you did.¡±

    ¡°A moot point, unfortunately. As I highly doubt I¡¯m going to be working as much as I did anytime soon.¡±

    ¡°Better to realize your limits and act accordingly than to rail against them and suffer a mental collapse somewhere down the road. There were plenty of times in my life when I had to ease off of my training, even though I didn¡¯t want to. I¡¯m still here, just where I want to be, and I¡¯m still as happy as can be.¡±

    ¡°Plenty of times? You¡¯re only nineteen.¡±

    ¡°So? How much of a difference can there be between my age and yours that my experiences and suggestions aren¡¯t applicable to you?¡±

    ¡°That probably depends more on the type of life lived, then on the years lived, if I¡¯m honest.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°Wow, that¡¯s probably the best sign that you aren¡¯t feeling like yourself. Admitting that being older doesn¡¯t automatically mean something.¡±

    ¡°Not feeling like myself, huh? So would you say that how I was two days ago is more the real me than how I¡¯m acting now?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll have to leave that question to the experts, but I certainly think so. I mean, it¡¯s like there¡¯s a weight on you, right? And before yesterday, you had the magic helping you lift that weight so you could be the real you more easily. Now that magic isn¡¯t there, the weight prevents you from acting how you really want to, from being the real you. By the way, I¡¯m just parroting what Yvessa said. She¡¯s the one well read on the Taken and whatnot. But her metaphor makes sense. It definitely seems to me like you were more authentic to your true self two days ago than yesterday.¡±

    ¡°A weight, huh? Funny¡­ I had the same thought myself.¡±

    ¡°Well, then you should obviously agree that this isn¡¯t the ¡®real¡¯ you. At least not more than you were two days ago.¡±

    ¡°Maybe¡­ I don¡¯t know. I¡¯ll have to think about that. Not that it matters all that much. Because it¡¯s not like I prefer this version of myself to the one from two days ago. The ¡®real¡¯ me can be whatever the fuck it wants to be. As long as I stop feeling like shit all the time, I¡¯m happy.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the spirit! Never mind all the introspective crap. Just focus on being happy and feeling good. That¡¯s what¡¯s really important in life after all.¡±

    ¡°Not that¡­ but close enough, I suppose.¡± The conversation paused for a few seconds before Sam asked, ¡°So, what are you going to do for the parts of the day that aren¡¯t consigned to being around me?¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ it depends. Maybe I¡¯ll skip combat practice, both because I sort of already had one today, but mainly because I don¡¯t feel like it. So since I¡¯m all caught up in my courses and homework, I suppose the alternatives for combat practice will be to work on my imprinting or just spend that time cultivating. But I won¡¯t do both. On Saturdays, it¡¯s just the block of time around lunch that¡¯s assigned to training. The rest of the day is all mine to fuck around with. You could learn a thing or two from me about work-life balance, you know?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that under advertisement. What does your work-life balance say about acting as though you¡¯re not going to be cultivating at night by not calling it training?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine with it. But it doesn¡¯t have a problem if you want to count that extra hour or two as training.¡±

    They soon reached the mess hall, and inside, split up to choose their own breakfast. Yvessa had already gotten there before them and grabbed a table, so once Sam finished picking his meal (the same time it took Felix to pick his, which was also a sign that not all was well with Sam) they joined Yvessa.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± Sam said as he sat down.

    ¡°Good morning.¡± Yvessa nodded. ¡°How was your spearfighting lesson?¡±

    Sam shrugged and let Felix take charge of describing their morning together, as well as recounting Sam¡¯s feelings about it. ¡°Oh,¡± Felix said once he finished, ¡°if I¡¯m already playing the role of storyteller, then he also ended up going for a run yesterday.¡±

    ¡°How far did you end up going?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Not far,¡± Felix continued answering in Sam¡¯s stead. ¡°I suggested to him that next year, when he¡¯ll be in better shape, he could commemorate yesterday by running a full lap.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°It¡¯s definitely a worthy goal. And a good milestone to have. If I do come out of this feeling better, and if do end up in good enough shape for that run, then it will definitely be something that I¡¯ll want to do.¡±

    ¡°This time next year you¡¯ll definitely be in good enough shape to run that full lap,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°I¡¯d also promise you that you¡¯ll definitely come out of this feeling better, but¡­ you¡¯ve already heard it more that enough time for my contribution to be unnecessary.¡±

    ¡°You still said it though.¡± Felix laughed.

    ¡°I was just being honest.¡±

    ¡°Leaving something that¡¯s better left unsaid, unsaid, doesn¡¯t mean being dishonest.¡±

    ¡°No. But it also doesn¡¯t mean being honest. I had something to say. I decided not to make that statement as I originally intended, but still related my original intentions. That¡¯s honesty.¡±

    ¡°Wait, so being honest means telling people every single thought that passes through your head?¡±

    ¡°It is certainly more honest to do so than to not do so.¡±

    ¡°So let¡¯s just say I have the thought that it¡¯d be funny watching you jump headfirst into a pool of barbecue sauce. Does that make me a more honest person if I tell you so?¡±

    ¡°Maybe it does, but my point wasn¡¯t that you have to say everything errant thought that pops into your head. Rather, that once you have a well-formulated thought and that you derived from that thought a statement which you wished to tell another person. But then realized that the statement might not necessary for them to hear. Then telling that person that you realized the statement might be fruitless, while still telling that statement because you wanted to, is being honest. I didn¡¯t say it was dishonest not to do so and just tell them the original statement, but you are being more truthful when you reveal more of the full truth. That¡¯s the only quality the definition of being honest carries here. It has nothing to do with a positive or negative attitude or behavior.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t it? I¡¯m pretty sure that most people see honesty as a good quality. It¡¯s just that your overstretched definition of it means that we must divorce it from those qualities for it to make sense.¡±

    Yvessa turned to regard Sam with a questioning gaze. ¡°Don¡¯t you have a textbook example for when regarding honesty as a moral imperative leads to a result most people would consider immoral?¡±

    Sam let out a small chuckle. ¡°You already walked most of the way there. I don¡¯t really have a dog in this fight. At least I don¡¯t feel like getting into it. I definitely would on ¡®ordinary¡¯ days, I realize that, but¡­¡±

    Felix clapped Sam on his back. ¡°That¡¯s fine, mate. We all already know what you were going to say if you joined just now. Let¡¯s just imagine that you said it and move on.¡±

    Yvessa scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re just saying that because you were losing.¡±

    ¡°We were having a feedback-free debate. An honest intellectual conversation. There aren¡¯t any winners or losers.¡±

    ¡°Bet you wouldn¡¯t be saying that if you weren¡¯t losing.¡±

    Sam focused on the rest of his meal while Felix and Yvessa carried on with their petty argument. It was entertaining enough to listen to, at least; they made sure to not give an inch, even when their reasoning led them to a very stupid conclusion, in order to keep up the entertainment value for Sam. He nodded along as he listened to them, but didn¡¯t feel like partaking in the debate himself. Didn¡¯t feel like, or couldn¡¯t? If he wanted to, would he have had anything to add? Maybe he could, if he made an effort. But he didn¡¯t feel like making even the slightest bit. He realized joining in was supposed to be something enjoyable to him, that there was fun to be had there, just not to him as he was right now.

    Is that another argument for this not being the real me? Of course, we could still claim that the me from two days ago wasn¡¯t the real me and this is more in line with my true self. I suppose there is also the option that neither was the real me. Then the question would be which one was closer to the real me. But honestly, does it really¡ªHis train of thought was cut short by his phone¡¯s ringtone sounding. Not a contact, but the number seemed oddly familiar¡­

    ¡°Hello?¡± he answered the call.

    ¡°Cadet Anders?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°We have an urgent call for you from Maynil. It¡¯s eh¡­ General Farris Ninae. Are you¡­ free to come in?¡±

    ¡°Right now?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ yeah, well, no. He said that you can come whenever you¡­ feel like it. But we have to keep the line open all the time so¡­ if you can come right now¡­¡±

    Sam had to give it to his mentor. That was some amusing abuse of authority right there. ¡°Fine, I got it. I¡¯ll be there soon.¡± He hung up the call.

 Chapter 92

    ¡°Who was that?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Web Communications. Farris called in ¡®urgently¡¯ again. I guess the usual major isn¡¯t on duty because the woman I was talking to sounded incredibly freaked out.¡±

    ¡°Most people would freak out if they get an urgent assignment from the guy at the top of the chain. I told you two this plenty of times before, but you don¡¯t really understand what kind of effect a person like Farris, or even Dan, has on the ordinary solider.¡±

    ¡°I do understand that,¡± Yvessa said. ¡°I just treat Farris the way I know he wants me to treat him.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°And I have no frame of reference for how I should interact with and regard him, so I just act in the way that comes most naturally from his behavior and my instincts.¡±

    ¡°To be fair, that worked out very well for you, as you two are pretty similar overall.¡±

    ¡°I really don¡¯t see it.¡±

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Me too.¡± Felix nodded.

    ¡°Whatever. I¡¯m finished with breakfast. You coming or staying?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re allowed to come?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t told otherwise. Besides, you¡¯re obligated to keep me company anyway. I¡¯m sure Farris won¡¯t begrudge you joining the call by forcing you to wait outside.¡±

    ¡°Am I invited too?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°If you want to come, you can come. He¡¯s probably just going to¡­ console me or whatever. You guys don¡¯t really have to be there. You¡¯ve heard the same message a dozen times just yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Nah, I¡¯m definitely coming. I want to be on a private call with the guy in charge of my military.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s not in charge of your military,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°He pretty much is. And I didn¡¯t mean anything bad by it. Stop enunciating what I¡¯m saying to make me sound like a prick.¡±

    Sam stood up. ¡°Look, I don¡¯t want to make the day of the woman on the other side of the phone any worse. You coming or not?¡±

    Felix took a hurried bite of his food before standing up as well. ¡°We already said we were.¡±

    Yvessa calmly finished the rest of her orange juice before standing up herself. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    ¡°You know,¡± Felix said once they were outside of the mess hall, ¡°I have to give Farris credit for how seriously he¡¯s taking his position as your mentor. From his demeanor when we first met, I thought he was mostly joking about that.¡±

    Yvessa shook her head. ¡°Unfortunately, one thing Farris doesn¡¯t joke about is his ¡®mentoring.¡¯ I assure you, if he had the time and was at the same place as Sam, then he would¡¯ve acted in both the roles of Dan and Lin. As well as some extra ones. I¡¯m pretty sure that if Sam went to Larsus to study threads like all other Thread-Weavers, then Farris would¡¯ve taken it upon himself to be the one to teach him.¡±

    ¡°He must be pretty bummed that he can¡¯t be the one to teach you about threads, then, Sam.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°He hadn¡¯t commented anything to that effect. Although, I¡¯m pretty sure that he still hasn¡¯t made up his mind on who to send to teach me, so maybe that¡¯s a part of it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°last time I mentioned it to Erianna, she said that Farris keeps stonewalling her.¡±

    ¡°Well, you can tell her to drop it at this point. I don¡¯t really feel comfortable having someone I never met interrogate another person for my sake.¡±

    ¡°Alright. I¡¯m pretty sure she wasn¡¯t too comfortable doing that as well. She didn¡¯t say so, but it must be pretty weird for her to have you as a fellow mentee. She might not like to admit it, but she definitely took some amount of pride in being the sole person under her uncle¡¯s tutelage.¡±

    Felix laughed. ¡°What¡¯s this Yvessa? Spreading gossip about your best friend? I thought the gossip was only supposed to go one way, from you to her.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not gossip. I¡¯m just telling Sam what I think. I¡¯m being honest. And it¡¯s not like I said anything negative about Erianna. I just said that she feels the same way Sam does.¡±

    ¡°Well maybe we ought to have a call between the two. Get them to sort out their differences and similarities.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Why not? She¡¯s Yvessa¡¯s best friend. Don¡¯t you want to get to know her?¡±

    ¡°Not especially. And doesn¡¯t the same extend to you? Or does my relationship with Yvessa¡¯s friends somehow matters more than your relationship with her friends?¡±

    ¡°With this friend? Certainly. You¡¯re both Farris¡¯ proteges. When adding this to the fact that she¡¯s the best friend of one of your very close friends, don¡¯t you think it¡¯s weird that you never talked with her?¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s not like her being Yvessa¡¯s friend makes her my friend as well. And the whole Farris angle is just superfluous. It¡¯s even less important than her being Yvessa¡¯s friend. Just another indirect connection. That¡¯s not a reason to meet with someone.¡±

    ¡°What about the whole part where Farris said you¡¯ll be her second-in-command in the future?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just one of his stupid jokes that best showcases why it doesn¡¯t actually mean anything that we¡¯re both his mentees.¡±

    ¡°I thought he never joked about being a mentor.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not a joke about him being a mentor. That¡¯s a joke about what will happen after he ¡®mentors¡¯ me successfully.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure what the difference is, but alright. Also, don¡¯t think that you¡¯ve convinced me with your flimsy reasoning or anything. I was already was your side. Just because she¡¯s Yvessa¡¯s best friend, it¡¯s no reason for us to need to meet her and set up a call or whatever. I just thought that it¡¯s a little weird that you have this connection through both her uncle and Yvessa, and yet you¡¯ve never once spoke to each other.¡±

    ¡°Did you ever speak with any of Dan¡¯s other major charges?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°You got me there. But there¡¯s way more of them and we don¡¯t have the connection of shared friends. Also, they¡¯re probably not holding a grudge about being less special as a result of Dan taking us under his wing.¡±

    Yvessa burst out laughing. ¡°Holding a grudge? Erianna¡¯s not holding any grudge. I just said she might be uncomfortable, but she doesn¡¯t hold that against Sam one bit. If anything bothers her, it¡¯s all directed at her uncle. What¡¯s the big deal anyway? You guys are going to meet her eventually. We¡¯ll be fighting together for the rest of our life. It¡¯s just a matter of time.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal, it¡¯s just a funny one. I was just pointing out that they have all this stuff in common, that they both know and talk about each other, at least we about her, I suppose, and yet they never talked with each other. I mean, I feel like I already know her and yet we¡¯ve never met.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve also never met your childhood friend Paul, and yet I somehow know when, where, and how he lost his virginity.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Oh, I haven¡¯t told you about that?¡± Felix perked up. ¡°It¡¯s a great story. And Paul¡¯s a great guy. You¡¯re gonna love it.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I will and fortunately we don¡¯t have the time for it right now.¡± Sam gestured at the guarded complex right before them.

    ¡°Well, maybe Farris will want to hear that story.¡±

    The security check, which was already pretty fast usually, was further expedited this time by the presence of the person on the other end of Sam¡¯s phone. The incredibly anxious captain quickly guided them into the building and then to the room where the call was set up. Felix made a told you so gesture at them after she left them alone in the room. Less than half a minute later and the image of Farris sitting at his desk materialized in front of them.

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Farris smiled. ¡°Three out of four, not bad. Hello Sam, please take a sit, I obviously won¡¯t keep you on your feet on a day such as this.¡±

    They all sat down, with Sam taking his time doing so. Once on the floor, he closed his eyes, fatigue suddenly dawning on him and stretched his head back and legs forward. Rubbing his nape, he let out a tired sigh.

    ¡°Tough day, huh?¡± Farris asked.

    ¡°No more than usual. Which unfortunately means yes.¡±

    ¡°I can only imagine. So how come all three of you are here? Were you two already with Sam and just decided to tag along?¡±

    Yvessa nodded. ¡°We made a plan to keep him company for most of today. Felix was with him until breakfast, and I was supposed to take over after it. Which is when you called and we decided to come as well. I hope that¡¯s alright.¡±

    ¡°More than alright. Although, I suppose that means that I have to start taking the other combinations into account.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°Oh, c¡¯mon Sam. Don¡¯t tell me you haven¡¯t thought about it. I mean, I know that you¡¯re not feeling like yourself today, but I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯re still you enough to have come upon this line of thought.¡±

    Sam felt a blush creeping up his face. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°Sure you don¡¯t. So the thought about the different combinations of which of your friends were present during your call with me hadn¡¯t once crossed you mind? Because first, it was you and Yvessa, then it was just you, and now it¡¯s you, Felix and Yvessa. Which means that unless we count that breakfast from when we first met, and I don¡¯t. For a full set, we need to have¡­ one, three, at least five extra calls that aren¡¯t just me and you. Two more for just Felix and Sarah alone with you. Two combinations with Sarah. And one where you¡¯re all together. Unless, we also need to take into account other people from your side? Let¡¯s see¡­ there¡¯s Dan, there¡¯s Maurice, there¡¯s¡ªUh¡­ that complicates it a lot. I don¡¯t like it.¡±

    ¡°Then just don¡¯t think about it. I didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Farris tsked while rolling his eyes. ¡°Not cool, Sam, not cool. Just because you¡¯re not feeling well, that¡¯s not a reason to be untruthful. But I¡¯m a benevolent mentor, so even if you won¡¯t admit it, I¡¯ll take care of it. So don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll make sure to go through all possible combinations before our last call. We still have plenty of time.¡±

    ¡°Fine, whatever you say. So why¡¯d you call me here?¡±

    ¡°Why do you think? I¡¯m your mentor. Even if your current state of mind had no effect on your education, as your personal and spiritual guide, I have my finger on the pulse for all matters related to your heart. It¡¯s my outright duty to check up on you during times like this and help you through them.¡±

    ¡°I already have a therapist appointment tomorrow morning.¡±

    ¡°I am well aware. But a therapist can only help you so far. Understand you so much. They do not have the intrinsic mental connection that we have as mentor and mentee.¡±

    ¡°Ah. So you called me here to make jokes in the hopes that¡¯ll cheer me up.¡±

    ¡°Jokes? What jokes have I made? Yvessa, Felix, did I make any jokes?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not getting involved with whatever this is.¡± Felix shook his head.

    ¡°Ugh! Then what are you here for?¡±

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know. Just wanted to keep Sam company, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Hm, I can certainly respect that reason. It¡¯s a good one. But might I suggest that since the two of you are already here that you¡¯ll also play a role as befits your character? You¡¯ll be the spineless comedic relief that agrees with everyone. Yvessa, you will be the serious and overcautious type that¡¯s very reluctant to give her opinion when it conflicts with what Sam thinks. And I, of course, will be the great fount of knowledge and wisdom that has a dozen years of experience in guiding troubled young souls. Sam, you¡¯ll play the incredibly talented, troubled young soul that¡¯s going through a major depressive episode.¡±

    Sam exhaled a small laugh. ¡°Fuck you, man. I knew you had no idea for what you were going to say.¡±

    ¡°No, I had some idea. But Felix and Yvessa being here threw me for a loop. Now I¡¯m scrambling for the best way to incorporate them into the conversation. We don¡¯t want them to just sit here and listen to us talk now, now do we?¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°We¡¯re here for Sam. If you think you¡¯ll be able to best¡­ ¡®help¡¯ him without us here or with us keeping silence than there¡¯s no reason for us to take part.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no best way to help Sam. If you¡¯re already here, then you might as well just take part in whatever this is. Sam is understandably suffering from a lot of different emotions and conflicting thoughts. Nothing anyone can say is going to change it. The only thing anyone of us can do is help him feel better. Or less worse, I should probably say, right?¡±

    Sam pursed his lips. ¡°There¡¯s no way you thought of that last part on your own.¡±

    ¡°I admit that the exact wording was in both Dan and Maurice¡¯s reports. But¡­ I¡¯d like to think that I know you well enough by now that I would¡¯ve been able to come up with that on my own. It¡¯s a very you thing to say, after all.¡±

    ¡°Funny you should say that, because me and Felix already spent some time this morning talking about who is the real me. Whether it¡¯s the me from today and yesterday or the me from two days ago. So according to you, I¡¯m pretty much the same, since just based on knowledge of the me from before, you knew how I would act now.¡±

    Farris scratched his chin in thought. ¡°Hmm¡­ I haven¡¯t thought of it like that. Of course, you realize that for that whole line of questioning to make sense, to be possible, we must accept the conjecture that there is a ¡®real you,¡¯ and not only that, but that it is a singular entity. After all, you know me: I don¡¯t really subscribe to that point of view that there is any real, underlying personality that is the singular true essence of a person¡¯s behavior.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re were talking about social behavior, though, interacting with other people. I¡¯m talking about the state of mind between one and one¡¯s self. The underlying nature of a person¡¯s consciousness and personality instinctively guiding his every action.¡±

    ¡°Not deterministically, though, right?¡±

    ¡°Not without the presence of free will, yes. Otherwise, the question is completely moot, because without free will, there can only be one true self. Well, you can argue that point of course, but on the face of it, if you have no ability to choose, then at any given moment you are the real you because there is no alternative version of yourself, capable of acting in any other way.¡±

    ¡°May I just point out that the same line of reasoning can be extended to a world with free will? Where our actions our ultimately our own but reflect, at each moment, our true self because we picked them ourself? But we¡¯ve digressed. So let me counter your previous claim and ask if there really is any difference between acting according to your true self in a social environment and acting according to your true self as a whole? By saying that I do not believe there is a real me, even if I was just speaking about myself coming into interaction with other people, I make the claim that there is no underlying state of consciousnesses that guides my social interactions. The moment that claim is true, that must mean that there is no underlying state of consciousness that guides any of my actions. In my humble opinion, a base level of personality that isn¡¯t concerned with social interaction is too blank to be considered a personality.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Sam tilted his head left and right in consideration. ¡°I suppose you¡¯re right. As long as we do buy that version of self as you¡¯re painting it. However, I think that the more realistic, and honest, description of your supposed worldview is that there does exist a ¡®real you¡¯ deep inside your psyche. And that all the other versions that you present to the world in social interactions build upon it in some fashion. And we can then give your behavior the generous interpretation that all of your other selves, which socially interact differently depending on the context, are doing so in consideration to you true self; that they are operating within the parameters dictated by your real personality. Or, the harsh interpretation, which is that while you do have a real self, you¡¯ve alienated your active mind from it. That, were you able to, you would act in completely different ways sometimes, but are forced not to because of practical constraints.¡±Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

    ¡°But is that really alienation? Even if I am not able to act and behave as I would ideally like, that doesn¡¯t mean that I¡¯m acting against my true self, were it to exist, of course. It could very well be that your first interpretation still stands, and my true self allows me that operating room to act not as I would wish. If the true self exists, it does not exist in an ideal setting where it is all powerful, since it was borne of experiencing the real world, it must also be built with the ability to make comprises and act in ways it would prefer not to. That brings us back to my digressed point, that even in a scenario where free will exists, we might always be acting according to our true self because we are always, ultimately, choosing something by ourself.¡±

    ¡°Even if we agree on that, and I don¡¯t, it doesn¡¯t do away with the problem of alienation. The alienation comes from you believing that there isn¡¯t a real self guiding you at all times. By not believing in the existence of your true self, which, in the argument you¡¯ve presented, is objectively true and ever present, and thinking that you are acting in every interaction as a different version of yourself, you are essentially lying to yourself. It doesn¡¯t matter if you are ultimately forced to act in accord with your true self. By not recognizing its existence, you are consciously choosing to act¡ªor, to be more accurate¡ªto believe yourself acting in opposition to it. And since we are assuming that it is real, that must mean that you are alienating yourself from it.¡±

    ¡°But if that¡¯s the case, what is the real self even worth that I would care about alienating myself from it? After all, if I¡¯m always guided by my real self, and I¡¯ve made the free-will choice to disregard it, aren¡¯t I¡¯m guided by my real self to do so? I can¡¯t give much consideration to something that doesn¡¯t think it deserves consideration, right?¡±

    ¡°First of all, no. Because that¡¯s pretty much what you¡¯ve been doing with ever since we met. Extrapolate from that a broader statement about people with self-confidence issue and you¡¯d realize how wrong you are. And secondly, our real self isn¡¯t some universal ideal. People can be true to themselves and behave like assholes. You can change your real self. By internalizing that it exits and you¡¯re always acting according to it, it would change in how it guides you, and you would no longer be alienated from it.¡±

    ¡°You guys realize that you¡¯ve completely side-tracked from the point of the conversation, right?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°We have left Sam¡¯s original inquiry behind for the meantime, yes,¡± Farris said. ¡°But that is only because in order to answer it, we must have a clearer definition of what the real self is and whether it exists.¡±

    ¡°But you¡¯re not even talking about whether there is a real self anymore or what¡¯s it like. You¡¯re talking about what acting true to that real self looks like. That¡¯s not important to either discussion. You can define a real self without figuring out what it means to act according to it. And Sam¡¯s question wasn¡¯t about whether he acts according to his real self, but which version of him was the real him.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Sam nodded. ¡°I¡¯m not sure that it¡¯s completely unrelated. But I will admit that, at the very least, it is of a tertiary concern. Obviously, my actions and behavior today and two days ago were different, but I¡¯m concerned with my consciousness and the way I think and feel about things. My underlying state of mind.¡±

    ¡°Why does your underlying state of mind even matter, though?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°Leaving aside which ¡®version¡¯ of you is closer to the real you. It¡¯s obvious you are not going to feel like you are now forever and that you don¡¯t want to feel like this. And it¡¯s not as though finding out the answer will make how you¡¯re feeling pass faster.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re separate things. Like I told Felix, I care way more about stopping feeling like these than whether me feeling like this is more in line with my true self, if it does exist. So you¡¯re right on that part. But the ¡®purpose¡¯ of me thinking about all of this stuff isn¡¯t to make how I¡¯m feeling pass faster. The point is that I also care about being sure that I am really me, still me. My world literally changed; my body is different; the truth of my reality, as I saw it, has proven false. The only thing I still have that is potentially unchanged is my mind. I want to be the real me, whatever that real me will look and feel like. And in this aspect, the real me isn¡¯t some abstract psychological or philosophical concept, it¡¯s just who I was, what I thought and how I behaved before being taken. Obviously, I¡¯m not going to go back to that version of myself. And no matter what the real me currently is, it¡¯s going to change in the future, possibly including, I guess, not feeling like I do today. But I still want to know whether I was a Sam Anders that didn¡¯t feel like shit because he had an alien substance divorcing him from his real emotions and thoughts. Or whether I am a Sam Anders that feels like shit because he is struggling with the weight of the emotions and thoughts that are too heavy and recent to allow him to be who he really is.¡±

    Farris chuckled. ¡°You just made it clear why the debate doesn¡¯t even matter. Because whomever the real Sam Anders is, it is clear that, ultimately, when all is said and done, he is not supposed to feel like shit, like you are currently. Now, I¡¯ve never been to a therapist myself, but I¡¯m pretty sure they fucking love that line of thought, that you will surely, eventually, be happy.¡±

    Sam scoffed. ¡°Don¡¯t put words in my mouth. But you¡¯re right, functionally, this question might not really matter. Whether I was closer to my true self two days ago, or today, or in the future, when I¡¯m feeling better. None of that matter as long as I¡¯m sure that I¡¯m still me at the end of the road.¡±

    ¡°Surely not the same you¡­¡±

    Sam bared his teeth in half a smile. ¡°Fair enough, that whatever changes happened in my personality, that they were all my choice and consciously done. That the only changes that happened to me when becoming Taken, were external, that even if all the boards were changed to a different sort of wood, that I¡¯m still the same ship. And because I worry about that, I fixate on comparing between me today and me two days ago, and wondering which one was the real me. In essence, all I care about is not having outside influence affecting my mind. That if it was possible to separate between my personality and experiences, and put that personality on a robot with no experiences, that we would behave the same way. Obviously it¡¯s impossible, and obviously, talking about what the real self is and whether I was closer to it today or two days ago isn¡¯t going to help me with my wish, but that doesn¡¯t mean talking about it was worthless. I certainly don¡¯t regret the time we spent talking about it.¡±

    Farris leaned in. ¡°Don¡¯t regret as in ¡®not feeling worse?¡¯ Or as in happy it happened?¡±

    Sam shrugged.

    ¡°Ha! That tells me all I need to know. Anyway, we can move on to other topics, but let me write this one down for the future. It¡¯s certainly a good enough catalyst for discussion for when I have nothing to talk with you about, but need to kill time to make my calls seem worthwhile.¡±

    ¡°Is this the kind of stuff that you usually talk about?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Why would you be asking that question? Hasn¡¯t Sam given you detailed reports of all two of our calls so far? He hasn¡¯t? Appalling.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not something you really think he should be doing, right? You¡¯re just being sarcastic.¡±

    ¡°Hey, if he wants to give you the whole court record, I¡¯m fine with it. I haven¡¯t begun teaching him about state secrets yet, so whether he tells other people about what we talked about is up to him.¡±

    Yvessa raised her eyebrow. ¡°State secrets?¡±

    ¡°But of course. I got to give some leg up to my precious mentees don¡¯t I? That way, after they become Rulers in the future and are told of the secret cabal that controls the Web from the shadows, they could just nod their heads and look cool in front of all the other new Rulers.¡±

    ¡°Secret cabal? So you¡¯re just telling them about the Council of Chosen?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ they¡¯re just the front of it. Behind them are the actual powerhouses of the Web. And of course, behind those is a single, all-powerful individual, representing the will of the Web itself.¡±

    Sam rubbed his eyes to hide the flash of alarm that passed through them.

    ¡°Where do you come up with this bullshit?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°What do you mean? It¡¯s not like it¡¯s hard or creative. This is some pretty basic crap. I just came up with this on the spot.¡±

    Felix leaned in to whisper in Sam¡¯s ears. ¡°You know, I¡¯m starting to reconsider what I said about Farris taking his mentor role seriously.¡±

    ¡°I heard that!¡±

    Sam shook his head at Felix. ¡°Don¡¯t. This is him trying to accommodate his behavior to best¡­ I don¡¯t know, suit mine. He probably did have an actual plan for what we should talk about today before I came here with you.¡±

    ¡°Well. At least someone appreciates me and realizes my greatness and boundless generosity. And indeed, I did have a plan. I got here a paper with the all notes I made of your recent progress. I was going to go over them and congratulate you. Tell you how incredible and amazing you are, what great talent, great speed, and so on and so on. Then I was going to conclude by telling you that you¡¯ve progressed far enough, and exceeded my wildest expectation, for you to allow yourself to take a break until you start feeling better. And then I was going to lie and say that you could even take a whole month off without worrying about it.¡±

    ¡°Did you really write that paper?¡±

    ¡°I did! See?¡± An A4 sheet of paper appeared in Farris¡¯ hand and he started waving it around in front of Sam¡¯s face. From the brief glimpses Sam caught of it that he could read, it did cover his progress since he and Farris last talked. ¡°Of course, I wasn¡¯t actually going to go over them with you. The real bit was what I just did, telling you about how I planned this whole thing in order to make you feel better, and ending with telling you about the lie.¡±

    Sam smiled. ¡°I¡¯m also assuming that you telling me about how it wasn¡¯t the real plan was also part of your real plan.¡±

    ¡°Of course. See, I imagined us starting with some inane chit chat or whatever. You telling me about what you did today, something along those lines. I¡¯d rather have avoided that whole cliche bit of asking you how you feel and nodding my head as though it¡¯s possible for me to understand what you¡¯re going through, but I was willing to fall back on it if I found you uninterested in directing us to a conversational topic of your own. From there, I would¡¯ve tried directing the conversation to something that got you engaged¡±¡ªhe made a rolling motion with his hand¡ª¡°something that we can count as an actual substance for the conversation. Sort of like what we ended up talking about. Then, eventually, there would¡¯ve been a lull in the conversation, or maybe you would¡¯ve raised that question that you love so much and asked me if this was really the reason I wanted to talk with you today, and I would¡¯ve brought up the whole notes bit.¡±

    ¡°So you telling him about the entire plan was also a part of the plan?¡± Felix asked with furrowed brows.

    ¡°No.¡± Sam shook his hand.

    Farris pointed at him in agreement. ¡°Yeah. I just rolled into that because you two are here and I wanted to explain what I would¡¯ve originally done.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no way that¡¯s true,¡± Felix said, turning to Sam, ¡°is there? How the hell did you know that him telling you about one part of the plan was¡­ planned, but telling about the other wasn¡¯t?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Seemed too on the nose to have planned for that last bit as well. He only brought it up because he wanted to prove to you that he pre-planned for this or whatever.¡± He turned to Farris. ¡°So? What was the plan for after we finished ¡®talking¡¯ about progress?¡±

    Farris smiled and spent a second regarding both Felix and Yvessa before answering. ¡°Do take note. I did plan for Sam asking me this. Although, I originally saw it as something more along the lines of, ¡®So was that the whole plan?¡¯ because, you must remember, I did not originally intend to reveal the entire conversational plan to him.¡±

    Yvessa sighed. ¡°You¡¯re really feeling in your element right now, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°You know it. I finally met someone who truly understands me while also having a sense of humor. And who isn¡¯t a family member. You¡¯re close, though, Yvessa, you¡¯re close. Just need to work a bit more on understanding me and being funny. I¡¯m expecting great things from your close acquaintance with Sam.¡±

    ¡°So you didn¡¯t plan anything for after talking about talking of my progression,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°No¡­ I tried to think of something. I thought of a bunch of things, actually. But nothing concrete. I could say that I wanted to gauge how you were feeling and responding to the conversation, so I didn¡¯t want to commit to anything. But that¡¯ll be stretching it. I simply couldn¡¯t come up with something I felt happy with. I did have the fallback of teaching you some state secrets, though, if nothing else worked, and I felt like I had to liven you up a little bit.¡±

    ¡°Wait, actual state secretes this time?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°Yeah. But in the practical sense. Politics and the like, nothing magical or esoteric. Stuff that I was sure Sam would be forced to engage with because he would be too curious not to, and have no problem understanding. Thankfully, that wasn¡¯t necessary today. And I hope that it won¡¯t be in the future, because I very much do not want to taint my relationship with Sam by talking about politics and all the ¡®real world¡¯ bullshit. Instead, we got this wonderful bit of talking about my full plans for the conversation itself. Which is all thanks to you two, because, like Sam said, if you weren¡¯t here, I wouldn¡¯t have felt comfortable bringing it up.¡±

    ¡°So what would you have told Sam about politics?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I said no! Stop being your mother¡¯s daughter for just one day and try being more like your best friend, who is the reason why you¡¯re a swordfighter.¡±

    Yvessa let out a half-angry laugh. ¡°I didn¡¯t start fighting with a sword because of Erianna. Don¡¯t be an asshole.¡±

    ¡°She totally did.¡± Farris leaned in towards Sam and Felix.

    ¡°Whatever, so you¡¯re just going to ignore my question?¡±

    ¡°I told you, I don¡¯t want to talk about politics if I don¡¯t have to. What¡¯s the problem with what we were talking about so far? Sam was engaged, he was amused, hopefully his spirits were uplifted. Why do we have to bring in politics when I don¡¯t want to talk about it and there¡¯s plenty else on offer?¡±

    Yvessa nudged Sam. ¡°C¡¯mon, Sam, say that you want to hear some state secrets. Ask him about the Amgwoyne Report.¡±

    Even though he initially intended to acquiesce to Farris¡¯ wishes, Sam couldn¡¯t help but ask Yvessa, ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    Yvessa crossed her hands and gestured towards Farris, inviting him to explain. With a sigh, Farris said, ¡°It was a paper commissioned by the assholes in the Chamber of The Elected after my grandfather¡¯s decision to ¡®grant¡¯ the Terran Republic Yppollas, our old name for New Terra, without anything in return. It found that the maximum capacity for cultivation of the world¡ªwhich the assholes still called Yppollas in the report, despite all the new inhabitants and the official royal recognition of the new name¡ªwas much greater than it was during the last recorded test. It also found that the monarchy knew about that beforehand and called for an ¡®explanation¡¯ of that ¡®grave misstep.¡¯ Really, there¡¯s nothing else to talk about. It was just a bunch of nobles acting like assholes, practically saying, ¡®I¡¯m not racist, but¡­¡¯ Besides, it was all in the past. It might not be common knowledge, but it¡¯s not that big of a state secret. I was going to talk about more interesting stuff if I had to.¡±

    ¡°Like what?¡± Yvessa asked.

    Farris gave Sam a pleading look. Sam waved him to relax. ¡°It¡¯s fine. You don¡¯t have to talk about politics.¡±

    ¡°How come I never heard of that report?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°It was never made public,¡± Yvessa explained. ¡°No motion in the Chamber does by default. It has to vote on releasing it or the monarch has to write a decree that it will. But neither side wanted the report and the resulting¡­ discussions, to come out, so it¡¯s still relatively unknown.¡±

    ¡°Also,¡± Farris said, ¡°because there¡¯s a censorship order about all undisclosed motions of the Chamber, the only way you¡¯re going to legally find out about it¡ªunless you dive really deep into the internet¡ªis by word of mouth. Like you just did. And with that, I¡¯m changing the topic. Sam, give me your top ten movies to watch when you¡¯re depressed.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Sam considered the question. ¡°That depends. Do I want to cry or not?¡±

    ¡°Why would you want to cry when you¡¯re depressed?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°For the catharsis. Obviously, you¡¯re not going to watch something that ends on a sad note. But you might want to watch something that gets your heartstrings going on the way to the happy ending.¡±

    ¡°Like Shawshank Redemption,¡± Farris suggested.

    ¡°No¡­ I won¡¯t watch it when I¡¯m depressed. I know that the ending is technically a happy one, and obviously I love the movie, but I feel like it¡¯d be pretty dangerous for me to watch it on days like these. Honestly¡­ I¡¯m not sure that there is a top ten list. It¡¯s just some movies that I know make me feel better, or that I remember making me feel better when I watched them while sad. Why, are you planning a watch party to fill the rest of our time today?¡±

    ¡°Not today, but maybe for next week.¡±

    ¡°Next week?¡±

    ¡°Of course. We¡¯re moving our meetings to a weekly basis until you¡¯re feeling better.¡±

    ¡°Are we?¡±

    ¡°Now what problem could you possibly have with that? What, you don¡¯t think I can allow myself those extra couple of hours of talking with you? I assure you, both myself, the entire Sarechi military apparatus and the Web at large can more than allow that. Unless, you don¡¯t want to¡­¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re already well aware that right now I don¡¯t particularly want to do anything.¡±

    ¡°And yet you¡¯re still here now. Which means that you also don¡¯t particularly not want to be here talking with me. So unless your disposition to me changes for the worst, what reason could there be for us not having a meeting next week? Unless you get much better, and are able to go back to making ¡®good¡¯ use of your Saturdays.¡±

    ¡°Point taken. My next point, because I still feel very uncomfortable with the prospect: don¡¯t you think it¡¯s really not OK to be using these state resources for such a petty reason like watching a movie together?¡±

    Farris laughed. ¡°No. It¡¯s literally investing in one of the brightest talents in the history of the Web. But fine, if it makes you feel bad, then I¡¯ll keep paying the cost from my own pocket. Which, by the way, is pretty much the same as me not paying it. Because, if you remember, as the initiator of the call, my side carries the burden of the energy cost, and since the state is paying for my communication, and the state is the monarchy and the monarchy is my family¡­¡±

    ¡°I get your point. So are you really planning to have me watch a movie with you next week? How the hell does that even work?¡±

    ¡°You have projectors in these rooms. You turn them on, face the opposite direction you are now, and I move myself to sit next to you instead of behind you. But I didn¡¯t say the movie was a certainty. I just raised the possibility. Also, I was more thinking about our meeting in two weeks rather than next week. I already have an idea for what to talk about next week and I need to make sure I don¡¯t waste it so that I wouldn¡¯t have to talk to talk about politics.¡±

    ¡°So these weekly meetings are pretty much a social call and you¡¯re completely abandoning even the facade of this having any¡­ educational or mentorship merit?¡±

    ¡°Must we really reopen that discussion?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think we ever closed it, if I¡¯m honest.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure we did. We concluded that even without any obvious educational or training-minded avenue of discussion during our meeting, meaning even if they¡¯re purely a ¡®social call.¡¯ That even then, they still fall under the purview of my mentoring of you. That it is the social aspect of our relationship, which is the bedrock of all else. Also, that if you keep insinuating that you don¡¯t actually want to talk to me about stuff that doesn¡¯t directly pertain to me mentoring you, I¡¯m gonna get offended and start thinking you don¡¯t actually want to be my friend.¡±

    Felix barked a laugh. ¡°I never thought I¡¯d hear a Ruler complaining about someone not wanting to be his friend.¡±

    ¡°Why not? I can¡¯t speak for all Rulers, but I¡¯m sure there are plenty of us who didn¡¯t let the power get to our heads. As such, we still behave like normal enough people. Won¡¯t you be offended if Sam was only using you for your help with his training and criticizing every moment that you spent talking about something he considered banal to that effort?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t criticize every moment,¡± Sam said. ¡°I just raised the question that, since you called for these meetings under the guise of mentorship, is simply talking about nothing important really what you planned for them? I don¡¯t have a particular problem if that is indeed the case. I just want to be clear of the terminology.¡±

    ¡°The terminology is still the same. Just because I¡¯m your mentor and want to meet you as part of my duties under that role, doesn¡¯t mean that we can¡¯t spend that meeting talking about stuff that doesn¡¯t pertain to our status as mentor-mentee. Case in point, I did some looking up online; which fantasy duo has your favorite mentor-mentee relationship?¡±

    ¡°Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not true.¡±

    Sam nodded.

    ¡°You just said that to be contrarian. I asked for a fantasy duo and you gave me sci-fi.¡±

    ¡°Not sci-fi. And also not the reason I lied.¡±

    ¡°Give me the real answer, then.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I can think of a dozen. No idea which one of them is my favorite. What¡¯s your point?¡±

    ¡°My point is that I¡¯m willing to bet that a fair number of those relationships have plenty of scenes that aren¡¯t dedicated to just furthering the mentee¡¯s training. But instead are just¡­ ¡®social calls.¡¯ Movements when the characters talk like friends. So, if characters in a book¡ªa book that has to make sure to get its story across to the reader in a limited amount of pages or else they would get bored and step away from the page¡ªcan allow themselves those moments of casual conversation. So can we. While still remaining under the guise of a mentorship call.¡±

    ¡°Fine. All I wanted to know was whether to slot my meetings with you under training or leisure time so that I could plan my day accordingly. Right now, that probably doesn¡¯t matter that much anyway.¡±

    ¡°Then we will return to this discussion when it does matter to you. I¡¯ll argue that it should be counted as both. But, another time. For now, we need to focus on just improving your mood.¡±

    ¡°Uh-huh. And how do you plan on doing that exactly? Watching movies during our weekly meetings, I guess.¡±

    ¡°That was but one plan. I have many more. For example, you could adopt a pet. Wouldn¡¯t a cat help brighten up your day immediately?¡±

    ¡°Cadets aren¡¯t allowed to keep pets,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°And even if we were,¡± Sam said, ¡°I¡¯m not going to adopt a cat for just these two and a half years.¡±

    Farris nodded. ¡°Fair point, fair point. Still think you ought to go looking for some feline, or any animal really, companionship. It would do you wonders.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that under advertisement. Any other¡­ ¡®suggestions?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Not really. You should really be doing stuff that you want to do in order to get you through this time. Eventually, you¡¯ll go back to wanting to do stuff. I¡¯m fine with the one concrete suggestion I gave you since I figured you might not have thought of it. But anyway, since you¡¯re already here, and you¡¯ve got some time to kill, there are a couple of questions about the twentieth century I¡¯d love to ask you. First off, Beatlemania, did some people really think that Ringo wasn¡¯t the hottest Beatle?¡±

 Chapter 93

    ¡°See you later guys,¡± Felix said as they left the Web Communications complex. Yvessa then gestured for Sam to lead on and they started heading towards his room.

    ¡°So¡­¡± she started, ¡°what¡¯s next?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Still don¡¯t want to do anything. I¡¯ll just go back to studying, I guess. Or try to. There should still be plenty of material that¡¯s easy enough, and interesting enough, that I¡¯ll be able to push through the haze and everything.¡±

    ¡°May I make a suggestion?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    ¡°Instead of reading something. Why not watch something instead?¡±

    ¡°What? Like a video lecture?¡±

    ¡°I was more thinking of a documentary.¡±

    ¡°Documentary of what?¡±

    ¡°Elven history.¡±

    ¡°Elven history?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°The one I¡¯m thinking of covers the Wars of Unification and the Integration of Maynil in much more depth than our one textbook.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Is it any good?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a highly acclaimed, and regarded by historians as pretty historically accurate. I assure you, it is both entertaining and insightful. And it¡¯ll probably be easier on you than reading material.¡±

    ¡°But I wasn¡¯t going to be studying just elven history. OK, maybe I didn¡¯t have any plan for what to actually study, but I assume it wasn¡¯t going to be just the one subject.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re ahead of the material anyway. You can allow yourself to skip studying for a single day. And it¡¯s not like you won¡¯t be studying at all. Take this as an opportunity to further enrich your knowledge about elven history. You¡¯re always complaining that the textbooks aren¡¯t comprehensive enough and that you¡¯ll have to do some research of your own. This is it. The most significant historical period in elven history. Covered by probably one of the best elven documentaries ever made.¡±

    ¡°Did you watch it?¡±

    ¡°I did. It was great. But I¡¯m more than happy to watch it again. It¡¯s been a couple of years and I¡¯m guessing that I¡¯ll enjoy it way more now.¡±

    Sam scratched his head. Yvessa¡¯s suggestion did sound tempting. Sam was definitely interested in the topic, and it was probably going to be easier on him than reading through textbooks until dinner, which was the best plan he had come up with up to now. And it still counted as studying¡­ right? Eventually, he said, ¡°Let me think about it. I¡¯ll also want to look up online how accurate the documentary is.¡±

    ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll help you look up Sarechi sources as well.¡±

    ¡°Right, I haven¡¯t thought of that. Probably for the best to give elven input more weight in determining whether a description of their own history is accurate.¡±

    Yvessa laughed. ¡°You¡¯d be surprised sometimes. Every culture has its blind spots. And the kingdom isn¡¯t always as¡­ open with its history as the republic. But that¡¯s not the case with the documentary. Don¡¯t worry about it. We can even look up Imperial sources to have a third point of view of the historical accuracy of it, if you want.¡±

    ¡°Nah, that¡¯s OK. Two languages is far and enough for me.¡±

    ¡°Oh, and speaking of, if we do end up watching it. We¡¯re watching with the English narration. I originally watched the Sarechi, but I¡¯ve since read that the English one is much better.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°Nothing critical. The details are pretty much the same. It¡¯s just the narrator is supposed to be better, more pleasant to the ears and so on.¡±

    ¡°Ah, a Lawrence Olivier sort of thing. I can understand that. Even if the lines are the same, the voice and cadence can certainly elevate or downgrade the experience. Is the narrator anyone I know?¡±

    ¡°Do you know anyone?¡±

    ¡°Fair enough.¡±

    Sam kept silence for most of the way back, having already mostly made up his mind to go with Yvessa¡¯s plan, but still not sure enough to stop himself from questioning that decision again and again. He was still stuck at the same mental impasse when they made it to his room, but after a couple of minutes of reading reviews, his reluctance was finally worn down and they settled to watch the documentary. Each episode was, on average, around an hour and there were thirty of them, so it was no surprise that they hadn¡¯t even made it to the outbreak of the first war by the time they had to stop.

    They still had a couple of minutes until they had to leave to meet with Sarah, but decided against starting up the next episode. ¡°So¡­ what did you think?¡± Yvessa asked him, stretching in her sit. ¡°I¡¯m hoping that you being quiet was a good sign.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°It¡¯s really good, you were right.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t talk too much during it, right?¡±

    ¡°No, it was fine. I enjoyed the extra commentary.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m honestly surprised at how much better it is than I remembered. Guess it¡¯s because I¡¯m older now. It can¡¯t all be because of the narration.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s probably both. Honestly, if the quality of the episodes keeps up, then this really deserves all the accolades I saw it got. Also, it¡¯s really amazing how much historical detail they have for something that¡¯s so far back.¡±

    ¡°Not that far back.¡±

    ¡°Pretty far. Obviously we can¡¯t really compare between us Terrans and the elves, but it does feel like they were much better at historiography and record keeping than we were, for the comparable technological and cultural state of our civilizations or whatever.¡±

    ¡°You just said we can¡¯t compare the two.¡±

    ¡°Not from an empirical standpoint. Just based on what my guts are telling me. Doesn¡¯t matter, it¡¯s not a competition. Not to say that accurate historical noting for future generations isn¡¯t something that every society should strive for. But in this case, the difference between the societies is too vast for us to be able to judge which one is better.¡±

    ¡°So if the societies were similar enough, you¡¯d have judged one to be better than the other?¡±

    ¡°When it comes to historiography, yes. We can debate what role history should play in our personal and social lives. But I don¡¯t think anyone can argue that holding an accurate, comprehensive and unbiased a picture of history isn¡¯t a good cultural ideal to strive for.¡±

    ¡°We can debate what role keeping an accurate account of history should play in society?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Well, sure. What do you think history is for?¡±

    ¡°To learn from the past? Avoid its mistakes? Know where we come from. We¡¯d be here for the next hour if you forced me to list all the reasons I can think of.¡±

    ¡°OK, but how about for entertainment value, for example? Because it provides us with good stories? With heroes and villains that most works of fiction could never hope to depict?¡±

    ¡°Sure, I can see that.¡±

    ¡°So what if we take that reason and the reasons you gave and give them all a more¡­ statist spin? And we¡¯ll say that the role of history is to educate future generations to be better citizens, and, obviously, history being entraining makes our job much easier. Then, an accurate and unbiased recounting of events may not be exactly what we seek when we talk about the ideal way we teach history in our society.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re saying that historical bias might be a good thing?¡±

    ¡°At the very least, it is unavoidable. Even if you do seek to recount history exactly as it transpired, warts and all, just the act of choosing what history to focus on necessitates a bias. You said it yourself, history is important so that we can know where we came from. Therefore, history that does not include our own past could be construed as less important. For us at least. Still, we¡¯re discussing two different aspects of historiography. There is the first facet which we started with, and deals with finding out the accurate description of historical events. And I argued that whatever role we decide history needs to play, that this first aspect will be as accurate and objective as possible, is ideal. Then, the second aspect is teaching that history; here, we actually have to decide what role history should play and move on from there. But surely, we would never be negatively impacted by having the most accurate information possible¡­¡± He frowned. ¡°Although¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Well, I suppose that if we decide that history is supposed to solely entertain, and then we make a discovery that refutes something that was seen as a historical fact up to that point, thus ruining a very good ¡®story.¡¯ Then we might argue that it was better if we stayed in the dark.¡±

    ¡°But if history is just for entertainment, then what would it matter? We can just disregard the new discovery.¡±

    ¡°True, true. But the problem is that part of what makes history so entertaining is that it really happened, that it¡¯s true. If we decided to completely disregard the facts in favor of a better story, we¡¯re pretty much making history into fiction, which will eventually empty it of meaning and thus make it less entertaining.¡±

    ¡°I see your point.¡± Yvessa nodded, then looked at her watch. ¡°Well, should we go?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    They left his room and started making their way downstairs. ¡°Oh,¡± Yvessa said, ¡°if it wasn¡¯t obvious, you don¡¯t have to wait for me to watch the next episodes. You can watch it on your own if you want to.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. If I want to¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll probably watch it by myself anyway, now that I already started. But if we do watch it together again, then I¡¯m fine with just accommodating to where you got.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that into consideration¡­ Thanks. Sarah¡¯s meeting us here or at the mess-hall?¡±

    ¡°Here.¡±

    And indeed, there she was waiting for them, early as was probably going to be the norm for the foreseeable future. ¡°Hey guys,¡± she said as she joined them and they started walking towards lunch. ¡°How are you feeling, Sam?¡±

    Sam made a noncommittal grunt. ¡°Unclear at this point. Not worse, at the very least.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good to hear. Not worse is quite an achievement on its own. Trust me.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯ve heard that once or twice.¡±

    ¡°So what did you end up doing?¡±

    ¡°Me and Felix went to training as planned. Afterwards, during breakfast, Farris called, so all three of us went and talked with him. Then, me and Yvessa watched a documentary about elven history.¡±

    ¡°Oh, is it the one you told me about?¡± Sarah asked Yvessa, who nodded in response. ¡°So was Yvessa¡¯s glowing review accurate?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s pretty good.¡±

    ¡°Maybe we can pick off where you left after lunch?¡±

    ¡°I doubt it.¡±

    She laughed. ¡°Alright, so what did you guys and Farris talk about?¡±

    ¡°He was just checking up on me, really. Which is going to be a weekly thing for now.¡±

    ¡°Just you the next time?¡±

    ¡°Well he actually invited you to come along next week, but that¡¯s up to you. And anyway, I hope that by next week you¡¯ll deem me well enough to not need constant supervision.¡±

    ¡°Not constant. Just some companionship to help you get through this more easily. And if you¡¯ll want to be left alone next Saturday, then you¡¯ll be left alone. I promise.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say left alone. Just not under constant care. But fine, I¡¯m not complaining about you guys keeping me company today. Don¡¯t want to send the wrong message.¡±

    ¡°No wrong message was sent. Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    The conversation lulled for a short minute, each walking in silence before Sarah came upon the brilliant idea of engaging Yvessa in conversation and pointedly ignoring Sam while making sure he felt comfortable jumping back in if he wanted to. He didn¡¯t want to, so he just let Yvessa detail her plans for the day, and when that ran out, she switched to telling Sarah about what happened in the episodes they had just watched. Sam grit his teeth. When he complained about being kept under constant watch, this was what he was complaining about. Forcing his friends through this weird dance and play around him. At least by the time they sat down to eat, the conversation turned more natural. Sarah still stopped herself mid-sentence when she realized she was about to lecture Yvessa about patterns, but that was her usual behavior.

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    Once Sam finished eating, a couple of minutes after the other two, they parted with Yvessa for the time being and, without even discussing it, started walking back towards Sam¡¯s room. He didn¡¯t know what he was going to do there. But that¡¯s where he wanted to be. Maybe he could just sleep until dinner. Not the healthiest thing to do, physically and mentally. But physically, he was probably never going to suffer again from any gastronomical problems, so that didn¡¯t matter. And mentally¡­ nothing to defend with there. He wasn¡¯t physically tired. Even with his dreams back, his sleep was still pretty much ideal, so his want to sleep was purely fueled by his depression.

    Sarah eventually brought him out of that internal back and forth. ¡°So did you think about what you wanted to do with the rest of your day?¡±

    ¡°I thought about sleeping. It¡¯s the only thing I come close to wanting. Except I don¡¯t really want to do that. Maybe I should give studying a go anyway. Or some cultivating. I managed yesterday. Surely I can manage today.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you can. But I don¡¯t think you should. You need rest, Sam. You have to take it easy. One day, without training or studying won¡¯t kill you or anyone else. And it will only help you get back into form faster.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°I know you¡¯re right. And I do agree with you¡­ somewhat. But as long as I don¡¯t want to do anything else, what can you expect from me? If I felt like playing video games or reading or watching shit, then I would¡¯ve probably already broke down yesterday and devoted my day to doing just that. But so far, doing any of those things, or anything else for rest or for fun, feels just as burdensome as doing what I usually would be doing. So if I¡¯m going to suffer anyway¡­ why not get something out of it?¡±

    ¡°OK, then what about sleeping? What about not doing anything? Trust me, you might think you¡¯ll feel the same afterwards, but you won¡¯t. Case in point, you had fun watching the documentary, right? You think you would feel the same if you spent that time reading textbooks?¡±

    ¡°Maybe not during it. But afterwards? I don¡¯t know. Maybe. Nothing I do seems to make a dent in changing how I feel. So why bother trying to ¡®improve¡¯ it?¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re feeling better while doing something, doesn¡¯t that count as improvement? Just keep doing stuff that makes you feel better.¡±

    ¡°Like what?¡±

    ¡°We can keep watching the documentary if you want.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±

    Sarah wrinkled her nose. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll make you a deal. We¡¯ll spend the first half of our time together helping you study and cultivate. I¡¯ll watch over you, make sure you¡¯re doing everything fine, and help you with anything that you¡¯ll need. And I¡¯ll have fun while doing it, so you don¡¯t need to worry about me. But, in the second half, we¡¯re going to do whatever I want to do, alright? Even if it¡¯s just taking a nap or listening to music with eyes closed.¡±

    ¡°How are we going to take a nap?¡±

    ¡°That was just an example. Point is, I¡¯ll be the one deciding. We have a deal?¡±

    ¡°And what prevents you from just helping me study and cultivate for the full duration?¡±

    ¡°I will if you¡¯ll ask me to. But since you haven¡¯t asked me, and you haven¡¯t said once that you really want to study or cultivate, I¡¯m assuming you¡¯re just falling back on doing those things. So I¡¯m solving your problem for you. You¡¯re not deciding what you¡¯re going to do at all, alright? I decided that first you¡¯re going to train, and then you¡¯re going to take it easy. You just need to do what I tell you to do.¡±

    Sam considered her proposition for a couple of moments before releasing a sigh with a shrug. ¡°Fine by me, then. We¡¯ll go with your plan.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Sarah smiled and gave his shoulders a squeeze. She spent the remaining time until they reached his room, quizzing him on his magical subjects. Although she gave him really softball questions so as far as Sam was concerned, that didn¡¯t count for much.

    But she did put in a lot of effort to making sure his training went as smooth as possible and that he kept his focus. Sam was sure she was close to breaking at a couple of points¡ªwhen she told him they could stop and do something else if he wanted¡ªbut in the end, she managed to hold up her hand of the bargain. She wasn¡¯t high level, so she couldn¡¯t provide much in the realm of aid during his cultivating, except keeping him company and alerting him when it was obvious he stopped cultivating. But she had a leg and more up on him on all the magical subjects that he had to study, so they dedicated the rest of the study session to finishing up his two-days-old patterns homework and mandatory reading. His pace was shit. He barely remembered anything, much less how to solve the problems, but they powered through it, nonetheless. Hopefully, he¡¯ll actually manage to retain some of what they went over.

    Now came Sarah¡¯s moment of truth and from the look on her face, she was struggling with it. ¡°Don¡¯t have any idea for what we should do, then?¡± Sam asked.

    ¡°I have plenty of ideas. It¡¯s choosing the right one that I¡¯m having trouble with.¡±

    ¡°Just flip a coin. Or run a randomizer. What does it matter?¡±

    ¡°It matters¡­¡± She frowned in concentration.

    Sam shrugged and settled down on his bed. ¡°Tell me when you¡¯ve reached a decision.¡± He couldn¡¯t fall asleep, of course. Not that he wanted to, he just wanted the comfort of having his eyes closed and soft matters to his back. Eventually, he started thinking that Sarah was actually planning to just have him rest with how long it took her to come to a decision.

    ¡°Alright, Sam, I¡¯ve got it. You¡¯re still awake, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Sam struggled to an upright position with a grunt. ¡°So what¡¯s the verdict?¡±

    ¡°I thought a lot about what we could both do together. I didn¡¯t want to impose and force you to do something that you might enjoy doing alone, but with me here it¡ª¡±

    ¡°Just tell me.¡±

    ¡°Trivia.¡±

    ¡°Trivia?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s pretty much like Yvessa¡¯s documentary idea. We can just choose topics like Terran history, basic magic, elven history. Stuff that you¡¯re studying about or should know about. And that way, you¡¯ll both have fun and feel like you¡¯re making good use of your time.¡±

    ¡°And I assume you¡¯ll be my competition.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ve added a bunch of other categories to make this a fairer game.¡±

    ¡°Fine. Just don¡¯t intentionally get questions wrong to let me win.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t dare.¡±

    In the end, it was a tie. Four games to Sam and four to Sarah. Sam wasn¡¯t sure how much he actually learned, and how much of that he will manage to retain, but he didn¡¯t have an awful time, and wasn¡¯t that the whole point? With the little time they had left until dinner, Sarah strong armed him into starting the anime he earmarked yesterday for his recent development. Which was nice. It was long established as one of his go-to shows to watch when he wasn¡¯t feeling great, but he couldn¡¯t force himself to start it yesterday because he found it weird to watch without subtitles. Which was a very weird thing to be concerned about in hindsight, as it obviously didn¡¯t bother him at all while watching. He didn¡¯t laugh during the episode¡ªwhich was pretty normal for him, all things considered¡ªbut he had a good time. Maybe he¡¯ll be able to watch it alone later in the day. Maybe just listen to it while doing something else. He just hoped that his mandated full group time wasn¡¯t going to carry on too long. He had wasted enough of his friends¡¯ time today.

    Their walk back to the mess-hall was mostly silent, Sam lost in melancholy and Sarah lost in thought, planning, presumably, the rest of the evening. ¡°You don¡¯t have to keep me company until my bedtime, just so you know,¡± Sam said.

    ¡°I know that. And I wasn¡¯t planning to. I just want for us to spend some time together. Like we usually do on Saturdays.¡±

    ¡°Only on some Saturdays, though.¡±

    ¡°Well, I want today to fall under those some.¡±

    ¡°Then you can stop thinking about it and just decide that we¡¯ll do something that we¡¯ve already done before. Since I don¡¯t care either way, it doesn¡¯t matter to me what you choose.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­ I¡¯ll consult Felix and Yvessa, then. See what they want to do.¡±

    Which turned out to be unnecessary, because when Felix, the last one to arrive, sat down to join them, he had apparently already come up with his own plan for the evening¡¯s proceedings. ¡°I got a great plan for what we can do, guys,¡± he said. ¡°I promise. It¡¯s just perfect.¡±

    ¡°This ought to be good.¡± Yvessa bade him to continue.

    ¡°No need for the sarcasm. It¡¯s a good plan. So, do you remember how Farris suggested Sam get a pet?¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± she said, and Sam nodded.

    ¡°That got me thinking. Because I know you two love cats.¡±

    ¡°And dogs,¡± Sam said. ¡°All animals that can empathize with their owner, really.¡±

    ¡°Well that¡¯s even better. Because I went online and I was looking for a cat cafe in town. And it turns out that there is one. But it¡¯s got really bad reviews.¡±

    ¡°How can a cat cafe have bad reviews?¡± Yvessa asked. ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with the cats, is there?¡±

    ¡°No. Apparently it¡¯s just that the staff, being the people, aren¡¯t good at their job and that the food and drinks are ass. But, there¡¯s a much better reviewed spot in town. That has both cats, dogs, and even two rabbits. They require a reservation and you usually can¡¯t call in on the day, but luck was on our side and they had a spot open for us. All I had to do was say that it¡¯s one of my friends¡¯ birthday and also the anniversary of her mother¡¯s death.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ.¡± Yvessa shook her head while Sarah looked at Felix with a frown.

    ¡°What?! What else was I going to say? That my Taken friend was incredibly depressed and really needed something to lift his mood?¡±

    ¡°You sort of did,¡± Sam said. ¡°But just for Sarah, presumably, as I don¡¯t think we can allow Yvessa to lie about her mom being dead.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, alright. But the point is that I didn¡¯t tell them about you. Sarah can allow herself the little white lie, and she can make the staff¡¯s day even better by acting all happy, make them feel like they did a great deed.¡±

    ¡°How is that a white lie?¡± Sarah asked.

    ¡°Because it doesn¡¯t hurt anyone? I¡¯m sure that if I gave them the full story about Sam, they would¡¯ve agreed to give us a sit as well. But this way, he gets to keep his privacy, and he doesn¡¯t feel self-conscious. Don¡¯t worry, I asked them not to do a show or anything for you, so they¡¯re going to treat you like any other customer. In fact, they don¡¯t even know which one of you is celebrating her birthday, so¡­¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re saying the staff is going to be gossiping, trying to guess which one of us has to celebrate her birthday on the anniversary of her mother¡¯s death?¡± Yvessa crossed her hands.

    ¡°What?! Of course not. That might¡¯ve happened at that other place, but not where we¡¯re going to. They¡¯re way too professional there. Look, if you two are really this uncomfortable with this, and Sam is willing, I don¡¯t have a problem with taking one of the waiters aside and revealing the truth. Like I said, our real circumstance is even more deserving of an emergency reservation than our fake one.¡±

    ¡°Why are you even sure we¡¯re going? Just because you¡¯ve made reservations?¡±

    ¡°Oh, so you¡¯re saying you don¡¯t want to go?¡±

    ¡°No. But I¡¯m not the one you have to ask.¡±

    All eyes turned to Sam, who just shrugged. ¡°Fine by me. I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to be able to get anything else done anyway.¡±

    ¡°So should I also tell them the truth once we get there?¡± Felix asked.

    ¡°No.¡± Sarah waved him off. ¡°Just leave it.¡±

    ¡°Excellent. So make sure to leave room for dessert. You driving, Yvessa?¡±

    ¡°I might as well.¡±

    Barely half an hour later, Sam found himself sitting on a couple of pillows, a milkshake on the low table in front of him, and two cats sharing his lap. Barely sharing that is, as by most laws of physics, there shouldn¡¯t have been enough space for the both of them. The first cat to claim his lap was a large-sized brown tabby with an all-white neck and extremely furry ears. His collar denoted him as Belgi and his purrs denoted him as content. The second cat found his way to Sam a couple of minutes after Belgi, and with no pomp or ceremony, stretched his much fuller length over Sam¡¯s lower body, with his butt resting squarely on Belgi¡¯s back. His name was Rufus, and he was a wizened old white cat, his slightly yellowed tail a sign of his many years. Unlike Belgi, he didn¡¯t deign to purr up a storm in order to show that he found his present resting place adequate.

    ¡°That¡¯s unfair,¡± Felix said with a sour face. ¡°How come he gets two to sit on him, and I don¡¯t even get one to come to me?¡±

    ¡°Cats can smell your desperation. They don¡¯t want to go over to people who show them a lot of attention.¡± Yvessa smirked while rubbing the neck of the barely adult tuxedo on her lap.

    ¡°Don¡¯t try that bullshit on me. You were pspspsing all over the place until that guy finally came over to you.¡±

    ¡°Come here Felix, you can pet Elsa.¡± Sarah tapped on the grinning head of the tail-wagging Golden Retriever.

    ¡°Ugh, fine,¡± he muttered. ¡°Might as well get something out of this. Hey you¡­ Who¡¯s a good girl? Who¡¯s a good girl?¡± A minute later, and he was forced to bid Elsa goodbye as she slowly inched her way to Yvessa and Sam. After soliciting some pets and head-scratches from them as well, she apparently decided her job was completed, and another table required her services, so she elegantly strolled away to continue her rounds. Felix sat back down with a wistful sigh. ¡°Left along once again. Always the same story.¡±

    ¡°Stop complaining and drink your cocktail,¡± Yvessa said.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to go say hello to the bunnies,¡± Sarah told Felix while getting up. ¡°You want to come with?¡±

    ¡°Agh! I just sat down. Oh, alright, fine. I need to get my money¡¯s worth.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s your milkshake, Sam?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I hadn¡¯t had a chance to taste it before and now I¡¯ll have to shift in order to grab it.¡±

    ¡°Well we can¡¯t have that. Want me to call a waiter to hold the drink up for you?¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t.¡±

    Yvessa giggled before stretching back with only her upper half and releasing a relaxed sigh. ¡°Ah¡­ It¡¯s so great being surrounded by cats again. Even if they¡¯re all super friendly and clean.¡±

    ¡°The street cats in Maynil are more rugged?¡±

    ¡°Most of them are still just as friendly, although obviously not as clean. But it¡¯s the way they interact with the people and the city which gives them so much character. No offense to the cats here, but they don¡¯t have as much personality as the cats back home.¡±

    ¡°Bet you don¡¯t think that of your house cats.¡±

    ¡°Hm¡­ fair enough. But these cats are public cats. They provide a service. I¡¯m allowed to compare between the two. Although¡­ if one wants this sort of experience back in Maynil, it¡¯s going to be a lot harder to get. I don¡¯t even know if there are any animal restaurant back home. Almost every restaurant has a cat or two, but nothing like this. So I suppose that these cats are more hardworking than the restaurant cats back home, even if they are more spoiled in comparison.¡±

    Sam scratched Rufus at the back of his tail, which finally forced the elder cat to relent a small burst of purring. ¡°They are hardworking cats here. I¡¯ll definitely give them that.¡± He was forced to stop his scratching of Rufus by another cat joining the fray and butting her gray head at his shoulder, seeking attention.

    ¡°Oh, come on!¡± Felix said as he returned to the table. ¡°You¡¯ve got three now?!¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not sitting on my lap.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s resting against your thigh. That¡¯s even cuter!¡±

    ¡°How were the rabbits?¡± Yvessa asked.

    ¡°Really cute.¡± Sarah sat back down. ¡°We got to feed them a treat.¡±

    ¡°You mean you got to feed them a treat,¡± Felix said. ¡°The other one had already been fed by someone else. And God forbid we let one of them eat more than they are allowed.¡±

    ¡°They are on a tightly controlled diet. If everyone we came here fed them a treat, they would die of obesity in a month.¡±

    ¡°Hmph!¡±

    ¡°Drink your cocktail.¡± Yvessa pointed her fork at him. ¡°And help Sam drink his milkshake. He can¡¯t reach.¡±

    ¡°This is ridiculous!¡± Felix complained as he raised the glass close enough for Sam to grab at the straw. It was tasty. ¡°I¡¯m just gonna move the table closer, so grab it yourself next time you want a drink. Oh look, another one comes for him.¡± But this Siamese seemed content with monopolizing the attention given from him by the two people who had no cats occupying their space. Switching between Sarah and Felix whenever he deemed he wasn¡¯t getting enough attention. Eventually, shortly before they left, he also found his way to Sam and loudly demanded attention. ¡°This is a scam,¡± Felix concluded.

    They stayed until the restaurant was about to close and were the last to leave. It took Sam a whole minute to get up, trying to rouse the sleeping felines gently. They did not seem impressed by his efforts, but all but Rufus eventually obliged with his request. Rufus required being physically picked up and restored to the floor, as no amount of prodding elicited anything more than a tail or ears flick. Once put down, he slowly blinked his eyes open before observing Sam narrowly. Sam hoped he managed to conceal his choked breath and hurriedly got up before bending back down to give the white fur a one last comb-over.

    Outside, the cool night air felt like a perfect counterbalance to his heated face, and he silently joined his friends on the way back to the car. The drive back mostly consisted of Felix and Yvessa carrying on with the useless argument of cats versus dogs, and Sam certainly hoped they were only arguing for argument¡¯s sake. He kept his opinion to himself and, once back in the academy, bid Felix and Yvessa goodbye. The walk back to his and Sarah¡¯s dorms was silent, Sam caught up in his own thoughts. Before parting for the night, Sarah gave him a hug and wished him good luck tomorrow.

    With more than an hour still left of his day, Sam was at a loss of what to do next. He decided to take a shower first, get himself completely ready for bed. After a shower that lasted much longer than usual, he surprised himself by sitting down for a meditation. He coaxed himself into the act by meditating for shorter than usual. The meditation wasn¡¯t good, but it also wasn¡¯t particularly bad. His thoughts kept slipping, yes, but they didn¡¯t go to anywhere too dark, and he didn¡¯t finish the session feeling worse than before.

    He still didn¡¯t feel like he wanted to do anything, besides maybe going back to the restaurant and petting cats until he felt asleep. Which is probably why he decided to finally call in the big guns. He kept the five books in reserve until now, but there was probably no better day than today to start rereading them. The evening spent with the company of animals was surely a sign. He planned to stop one chapter after the first sad chapter of the book, but decided to go with one more, just in case. He was still early to his usual bedtime anyway.

    He fell asleep while crying and thinking of his cats.

 Chapter 94

    He might¡¯ve not woken up straight from a dream today, but it only took him a few moments of fighting through his bleary thought to recognize the fact that he had still dreamed. Sleep quality is still the same, so I don¡¯t know why I care so much whether I¡¯m dreaming or not. Nah, that¡¯s a fucking lie. I understand that very well. No fucking way I¡¯m going to complain about this to the therapist, though. She¡¯ll probably say something like dreams are important for me to process my emotions and memories. The kind of bullshit that only a person who never had to suffer through a full night¡¯s sleep that left them more tired than before can say.

    ¡°Fuck. I haven¡¯t even met her yet. Why am I already criticizing her? And it¡¯s not like the line about dreams being important is so wrong or anything. Fuck, whatever. Gotta get up.¡± He groaned as he a slowly struggled upright before positioning himself on the edge of the bed. It then took him more than a few moments of cracking his knuckles and focusing on nothing in particular before he could finally gather the will and energy to push off of the bed. Since he still had plenty of time until he had to leave for the appointment, he decided to head in for a shower. Mostly because a shower will help put off the decision for what to do with his morning.

    Unfortunately, he couldn¡¯t bear showering for too long, so in less than fifteen minutes, he was all dressed and ready to get on with his day. Now all he had to do was decide what this first part of his day was going to look like. He sat on his desk chair with a sigh. Leisure or work was the first question to get through. Of course, answering either way would still force him to make at least one more decision afterwards. All the while, he still felt almost the same as yesterday, devoid of all wants and desire. I could just spend the whole morning crying and wallowing in misery. Probably better this way, no? Less chance of breaking down in front of another person.

    A good plan. Only he didn¡¯t particularly feel like crying, and he also didn¡¯t want to spend the next hour wallowing in misery. Oh, crying was still in the cards, being the most reasonable response to how he was feeling, which was, most definitely, still miserable. But it seemed that right now his mind had decided it wasn¡¯t going to be reacting to only those emotions and that crying his heart out and wallowing in misery could wait. Maybe today was going to be like yesterday. Where he spent most of the day in the company of other people, so he was able to hold himself together pretty well for most of it. Of course, then the day¡¯s end came, and he was left alone for good. So maybe reason why he didn¡¯t feel like crying right now was because he was all cried out from yesterday.

    ¡°Well¡­¡± He chewed on his lips. ¡°If I can keep my¡­ breakdown to just the end of the day, before I go to sleep, and still fall asleep fine and have an alright sleep, that¡¯s fine by me. A good plan, even. Let it all pile up throughout the day, then let it flow out at the end of it. Rinse and repeat until I¡¯ll start feeling better. That way, it would have the least impact on my life¡­ Except for the part where I still don¡¯t want to do anything and I¡¯m not training as I used to.¡±

    After a minute of silence and listless despondence, Sam managed to make up his mind. The only thing he actually felt like doing right now was going back to his reading from yesterday. But he wanted to preserve the books for as long as possible, only reading them at night. So since any other leisure activity lacked enticement, he might as well spend this first part of his day training. Cultivating seemed like the least mentally demanding path before him, the activity most likely for him to make some actual progress with. This meant another day of his studies lagging behind, or more correctly, losing their lead, but that was fine.

    He barely spent any time cultivating yesterday, probably the least he had cultivated in a day ever since learning the process from Farris. But two months of efforts weren¡¯t going to be wiped out by one day of relative inaction. He still held the same knowledge, the same skills and instincts that he had three days ago. He knew how to seek; knew how to excavate. All he had to do was just put it into practice and focus. And of course, focusing was going to be the major problem. But as it turned out, he didn¡¯t mind the misses and failures all that much. For some reason, he wasn¡¯t blaming himself for them, wasn¡¯t blaming anyone. He managed to just let them go and start anew. On some cycles, it took time. He got lost in thought and melancholy before he found his focus again. But on others, he could start a new cycle straight away, one moment of weary inattention leading to a vigorous new attempt.

    His progress during the session was, obviously, still quite far from where it usually was (not that he was able to calculate his progress yet), but Sam felt satisfied with his efforts. With managing to give them in the first place. His alarm left him with a couple of minutes until he had to leave, so he decided to spend them doing Lin¡¯s exercises that he forgot to do on Friday. His attempts were rather poor; he struggled with the memory of how he should do them more than he ought to have after all these weeks of practice. But that was fine. He got through them as well. So with about two minutes remaining to him, he switched back to his jeans and put on his headphones with the upbeat playlist playing before leaving his room.

    The walk to the hospital felt longer than usual, and he passed it in high-strung nervousnesses, feeling like a clump of anxiety being hammered from all sides by even more anxiety. Truth be told, he wasn¡¯t sure he was looking forward to the therapy session. Most likely, he wasn¡¯t. He just knew he had to go through with it. For himself, though? Or for other people? The utilitarian choice would see him not giving a fuck about himself and how he was feeling as long as he could fulfill his ¡°duty,¡± in Web-Web¡¯s terms. So if he could just take a pill that would make him into a brainless workaholic, that would be the most prudent course of action.

    As long as I don¡¯t need to be myself to carry out this duty, I suppose. It¡¯s a classic trope after all, isn¡¯t it? The ingenious prodigy who manages to do stuff no one else can do because they¡¯re so quirky and their amazing mind makes them think in ways no one else can even fathom. He shuddered at the thought. Yeah, thankfully, I¡¯m just myself. No ingenious prodigy here. Just a guy with the rare kind of brute luck that doesn¡¯t affect the development of your personality one bit.

    The whole debate doesn¡¯t even matter. There¡¯s no pill that would make me able to train as much as I need to, no matter how I feel. The only way for me to do the job I was brought here for is to stop feeling like this. Mentally improve enough so that I¡¯ll be able to dedicate the same time, effort, and focus as before. He shook his head. This line of thought was leading him nowhere. Instead, he tried keeping his mind blank for the remainder of the walk, hoping that the music will help him relax.

    A couple of minutes later, he finally made it to the hospital, and was greeted by Maurice, who, after asking for his wellbeing, started leading him inside. They didn¡¯t speak any more than that, besides Maurice wishing him good luck before parting. Sam took a long breath, and, while exhaling, opened the door and stepped in.

    ¡°Sam,¡± said the smiling woman sitting inside, ¡°welcome. Please take a sit.¡± She gestured opposite her. Sam did as he was told, giving the woman a curt nod as he sat down with a blank face. ¡°Some introductions before we begin, then. My name is Rose Mathis. Feel free to call me Rose.¡±

    ¡°No Dr. Mathis? I thought you were a psychiatrist.¡±

    ¡°I am trained as one, yes. And no, call me Rose, please.¡± She then held up a recorder. ¡°Is it alright if I record our meetings? It would be for my use and my use only. So that I could fully focus on our conversation. After the meeting, I will listen to the recording in case there¡¯s anything I want to write down before deleting it. You don¡¯t have to agree if you don¡¯t want to. It¡¯s up to you.¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s fine, I don¡¯t care.¡±

    Rose smiled again before continuing her introduction. She didn¡¯t give Sam her full list of accolades and expertise, he was sure of it, but she gave him enough of the usual spiel for his mind to start drifting off. She apparently caught his inattention because she suddenly stopped her attempt to convince Sam she was professional enough to be his therapist. ¡°I apologize for that. Many of my patients are rather reluctant to attend therapy, so I have developed the habit of fully going over who I am and what I do when I meet with a new patient.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s fine. Most therapists I¡¯ve been to have given me this version of what you just did. It¡¯s just that I¡¯m more than familiar with the song and dance by now.¡±

    ¡°So you have been to therapy before?¡±

    Sam titled his head. ¡°Isn¡¯t that written down in your files?¡±

    ¡°It is not. I admit that I have much more information about you than I usually have on my patients before meeting them, but it is still woefully incomplete. Which is something that I, ordinarily, would spend the first few meetings I have with a new patient trying to solve. Getting to know you and more about you. Since you¡¯ve been to therapy before, you must know how the process goes. I ask questions about your personal history, you family, childhood, your history of mental health and so on.¡±

    Sam nodded. ¡°Yes. And I hate this part.¡±

    ¡°Then you might appreciate my suggestion that we skip it.¡±

    ¡°Skip it? How will that work?¡±

    ¡°I would simply be learning about you as I go. Let my the introduction occur naturally, over time, instead of all at once. After all, you are here because of a rather¡­ pressing concern. I imagine that you wouldn¡¯t like it if we just spent the entire session today talking about your past and avoiding the present.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the boss. I don¡¯t care what we talk about as long as I end up feeling better.¡±

    ¡°And do you expect to feel better after today¡¯s meeting?¡±

    ¡°Not really. But I expect it to help with the process of feeling better. That¡¯s what you¡¯re supposed to do when you¡¯re depressed. When you¡¯re dealing with trauma or whatever. You go to a therapist and they help you get better.¡±

    ¡°Was that your experience in the past?¡±

    ¡°Yes? Maybe. I don¡¯t know. I went to three different psychologists in my life and one psychiatrist in conjunction with the second one. Those two¡¯s treatment worked really well until the accident. Then, once I got ¡®well enough,¡¯ the hospital provided me with its own therapist that specialized in helping people like me, like I was. But my memories stop after only a couple of meetings with that guy, so I must¡¯ve gotten taken around that time. Before he could prove his worth. Which makes you the fourth and second at once, I suppose.¡±

    ¡°And what do you hope to get out of our sessions? This treatment?¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? You said yourself, I have a pressing matter in that I feel like shit and I want to stop feeling like it so that I could go back to how I was before.¡±

    ¡°By before you mean three days ago? When you were still under the effects of your brain getting used to magic?¡±

    ¡°Yes. What else could I be talking about?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps about an even earlier period. Before your accident, maybe?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ no. Going back to that state of mind would be pretty much impossible. I¡¯m not even sure that I would want to, honestly. Just going back to feeling like I was three days ago is good enough for me. I wasn¡¯t feeling the best, but I felt pretty good most of the time, and I could give all of my efforts to my training. That¡¯s the important part, really.¡±

    ¡°I see. I want to address that last part, about training being the most important in your eyes, but before that, I would like to ask you about something else that you said. You¡¯re not sure that you want to go back to how you were feeling before the accident? Am I correct in paraphrasing what you said?¡±

    ¡°Mhm¡­¡±

    ¡°Alright, so could you try and explain why you think that?¡±

    Sam cleared his throat, twisting his head sideways and scratching his nape in discomfort. ¡°I¡­ ugh, I just meant that¡­ ahem. Alright¡­ so I was just thinking that if could pick for myself a state of mind to be in, then changing my mentality, personality, subconscious and whatever, to be like it was before the accident, it¡¯s probably not for the best¡­ for me as I am right now. Obviously, it¡¯s impossible to outright change your brain, so that¡¯s a moot point. But my point is that even with how horrible the accident was and all the mental damage it gave me and whatnot. It probably helped when it came to handling my new life here. You know, it¡¯s like the trauma made me a stronger person, so I don¡¯t want to go back to how I was before, because then I would be having a harder time right now.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s interesting that¡¯s where your mind went. I had only intended to speak about your emotional state back then, whether you preferred how you were feeling back then to how you are feeling now. But of course, the overall psychological profile is also something that¡¯s worth considering. Even if you can¡¯t turn back the clock. In essence, you¡¯re saying that even if you felt happier back then, you would not like to go back to who you were because that is not who you need to be in order to handle your current situation. Did I get that right?¡±

    ¡°Something like that, yeah.¡±

    ¡°Would you mind trying to explain a little more what makes you think that? Why would the you from before the accident handle what you¡¯re going through worse than the current you?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Like I said, mental trauma can make people more¡­ resilient in the long run. If they don¡¯t suffer a mental breakdown or other long-lasting effects, I guess. Which I don¡¯t think I did. Obviously I¡¯m not trying to make a blanket statement or an empirical claim, I¡¯m just talking about myself in this once instance. And what I feel is that, because of the accident, my mental fortitude or whatever got stronger. I¡¯m not saying that I wouldn¡¯t have been able to handle being taken if not for the accident. But I think it¡¯s reasonable to assume that I¡¯m handling it better than I would¡¯ve if the accident hadn¡¯t happened.¡±

    ¡°Are you are glad the accident happened, then?¡±

    ¡°Not glad. I wouldn¡¯t go that far. If I went back in time and could choose whether to suffer through it, I probably wouldn¡¯t go through with it. But since it¡¯s in the past, and it already happened, I can be fine with it having have happened. Obviously I don¡¯t suffer from any negative physical aftereffects of it anymore.¡± He gestured to his lower half. ¡°So if the positive mental changes outweigh the negative, then I should pick to be the me who had the accident, and no longer suffers from it, over the me who didn¡¯t and doesn¡¯t benefit from it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an interesting question. Whether the positive mental changes outweigh the negative¡­¡±

    ¡°Well, I can ride in cars now. Even if I still don¡¯t feel comfortable. I¡¯m not sure what other negative change there might be. I mean, my legs are back. That¡¯s pretty much the crux of the mental woes from back then.¡±

    ¡°So you wouldn¡¯t say that you, perhaps, tend to worry more about possible physical damage, the loss of your limbs, maybe, than you did before the accident? That you¡¯re afraid and more cautious of suffering from a similar loss?¡±

    Sam gulped. ¡°Ah. Maybe¡­ So that¡¯s in your files?¡±

    ¡°In conjecture only.¡±

    ¡°Well, I still think that the positive outweighs the negatives, whatever they may be.¡±

    ¡°And the positive is your mental resiliency being stronger?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Would you care to try and predict how you would¡¯ve reacted to being a Taken without having suffered through the accident?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe I would¡¯ve been fine anyway. What with the magic in my brain and all. But I still don¡¯t think that I would¡¯ve been able to react as well as I did. Maybe right now I would be in even greater emotional turmoil.¡±

    ¡°In what way?¡±

    ¡°I mean¡­ this might be the worst I have ever felt in my life. But I know for a fact I can still feel worse. So if me, as I am right now, can feel worse, then a me that¡¯s a little less¡­ resilient, probably will. As for a concrete example¡­ I don¡¯t know, maybe not being to get out of bed?¡±

    Rose nodded in contemplation, and the conversation paused for a few moments before she finally said, ¡°You mentioned that you have ¡®been able to react as well as you did¡¯ to being a Taken. What exactly does that entail, in your opinion?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s both emotionally and functionally, or behaviorally, whichever of the two fits. It¡¯s that I felt pretty fine for most of the time and that I was able to train and study as much as I did.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s those two in conjecture with each other? If you were feeling ¡®pretty fine¡¯ but were unable to train as much as you did, or vice versa, you wouldn¡¯t think you had handled that period well?¡±

    ¡°Not as well. But it¡¯s not like the second can exist without the first. If I didn¡¯t feel alright, then I wouldn¡¯t have been able to train as much.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s the training that¡¯s more important to you, then? In the first case I suggested, where you felt just like you did, but didn¡¯t behave the same way with regard to training, you would say that was handling it worse?¡±

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    ¡°Yeah, sure. But again, it¡¯s not a possible scenario.¡±

    ¡°But let¡¯s say that it is. If you could choose between the two scenarios, which would you choose?¡±

    ¡°I see where you¡¯re going with this. What do you want me to say? That training is more important to me than being happy? Because I¡¯ll admit it. If I had to choose between the two, I¡¯d choose training.¡±

    ¡°Could you tell me why?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, because it¡¯s the right thing to do?¡±

    ¡°Why is it the right thing to do? You are speaking of potentially sacrificing your happiness for training. Which is not a goal in it of itself, so let¡¯s say you¡¯re training in order to become much stronger. I¡¯m assuming that you wish to participate in the war and you pursue strength in order to do so effectively. So yes, it is certainly a morally commendable thing to do, to sacrifice your happiness for the war-effort and to save the lives of others.¡±

    ¡°Well there you go.¡± Sam upturned his hand. ¡°Saving other lives at the expense of not even my own, but just my happiness, is surely the right thing to do if I am able to do so.¡±

    ¡°But that is a choice that a few people are willing to make. I¡¯d wager that even most Rulers have not made that choice, that they are able to lead a happy life even while endangering it for the sake of others. Not to mention most people in the Web, that aren¡¯t soldiers and¡ª¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to say that I¡¯m better or anything than most people. Just that the right choice for me is, if it was a binary one between happiness and strength, would be to choose strength.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to insinuate that you think you are a better person than anyone else. Although, I would like to point out that, in my opinion, that choice of strength over happiness is something that should not be taken for granted. There is certainly room to applaud you for making what is, essentially, a very selfless choice.¡±

    Sam scoffed. ¡°Well I still haven¡¯t made any choice, right? I just said that I would¡¯ve. Acted like I did. Right now, I¡¯m both unhappy and not training as much as possible.¡±

    ¡°But you have made a choice. You chose to be here right now. And according to you, what is most important for you to get out of our meetings is to go back to how you were feeling three days ago; not because you were happier, but because you were able to train more. I don¡¯t think you were lying to me or lying to yourself. So in essence, you have already made a choice between happiness and strength. Even if the choice was completely a hypothetical. Which, I would like to assure you, it is. There is no reason you would be unable to find happiness, to live a happy life, even if your number one goal would be to become stronger and exert that strength in the front.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m well aware of that. Like I said, without being happy, or at the very least feeling somewhat fine, I obviously won¡¯t be able to train like I did. So it¡¯s a moot question on top of being purely hypothetical.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps. But we did get an important answer out of it, no? So what makes strength so important to you that you would choose it over happiness?¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t I just be one of those people who will never be happy if there¡¯s someone stronger than them?¡±

    ¡°Are you one of these people?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Than my question still stands, doesn¡¯t it? Because while the choice between strength and happiness might be hypothetical, you have already made some very real choices. You have chosen to attend the academy after only a day of living in this world. And while it so not a single or perhaps even conscious choice, but you have chosen, during every day of the last two months, to put all of your efforts towards your studies and your training. And like we said, your choice to have come here today, is very much motivated by your answer to that hypothetical question. But let me frame my question differently: You categorized your willpower in the past as, possibly, lacking for the purpose of acting in the way you¡¯ve been since your return, but you didn¡¯t say that you would¡¯ve chosen to act differently if you were in that previous state of mind. So why is becoming stronger so important to you that even the person you were before the accident would¡¯ve chosen a path that is, frankly, and by your own admission, incredibly difficult?¡±

    Sam gulped and looked down to his knees for a couple of seconds while trying to avoid thinking of the actual answer. After what felt like a minute, he said, ¡°It¡¯s the right thing to do.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I have an¡­ incredible potential. I can¡¯t not make use of it.¡±

    ¡°Why not? You wouldn¡¯t be the first Thread-Weaver nor the first Taken to choose a civilian life.¡±

    ¡°Sure but I would be the first Thread-Weaver Taken to do so if I did. I have the ability to¡­ influence the future. Save people. I can¡¯t let it go to waste. Not with a clear conscience.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s still a balance to be struck between letting your talents go to waste and wasting yourself away in order to meet your potential.¡±

    ¡°Sure, obviously there is. But we were talking about two binary options. And the first one saw me living a happy life or whatever, away from the front lines, doing whatever the fuck I want. And let¡¯s say that the second one saw me becoming a Ruler and saving the lives of¡­ thousands. Those thousands of lives are worth more than my happiness.¡±

    ¡°Ok¡­ so when do you think you initially made the rationalization that thousands of other people¡¯s lives matter more than your happiness?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°Well, if I judged you correctly, then what you¡¯ve just described is a deeply held belief of yours, and you¡¯ve agreed that you already held it before your accident. But you weren¡¯t born thinking like this, at some point during your development, you had to adopt that belief. Care to guess when?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Aren¡¯t most people willing to give their life if it means saving thousands of others? Sure, we¡¯re talking about my happiness and living my life rather than giving it away, so the discussion¡¯s a little different, but the moral drive is still the same. I feel like it¡¯s a pretty common belief all in all, for most people at least. You start developing empathy and pretty soon you realize that the lives of other people are worth just as much to them as your life is to you. Afterwards, the leap to being willing to give your life or happiness away to save a huge number of other lives is pretty short.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re saying that every, let¡¯s say adult your age, if presented with the same circumstances as you, and the same choices, would¡¯ve made the same choice?¡±

    ¡°Most normal people, I¡¯d say, yeah. Normal or better, I guess I should say.¡±

    ¡°Better being more moral?¡±

    Sam shrugged. ¡°I suppose. I feel like the initial belief is instinctive to most people or whatever. Then it¡¯s just a question of willpower. Of being able to carry out your decision, your instinctive belief. That¡¯s the hard part, especially if we¡¯re not just trading our life away but are forced to continue living with that choice and its consequences. But making the initial choice isn¡¯t anything that special. Most people would make the same hypothetical choice I did.¡±

    ¡°And afterwards, they will be faced with the struggle of making that choice into a reality. So what happens if they fail? They essentially go back and choose happiness over strength?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t think a person can ever be happy, after having failed to meet what they held to be such a clear moral goal.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s a lose-lose situation either way? No matter what you choose, you end up unhappy?¡±

    ¡°No, if you chose strength first, then obviously you¡¯re moral enough to care about other people, so that if you fail, whatever that means, you¡¯re unhappy because you¡¯ve failed all those people. But a person that¡¯s able to choose happiness won¡¯t care about other people, so they wouldn¡¯t have any problems.¡±

    ¡°I see. So what does failing look like to you?¡±

    ¡°Not saving those¡­ thousands of people.¡±

    She raised her eyebrows. ¡°So you¡¯re saying that only the result matters? That even if you gave all of your efforts to becoming stronger, at the cost of your happiness, that it won¡¯t matter if you fail to save those hypothetical figures?¡±

    ¡°Failing to save them means that I didn¡¯t give all of my effort.¡±

    ¡°Alright¡­ And who are those people? Are they soldiers under your command? Soldiers in general? Civilians?¡±

    ¡°Just people. People that I need to save.¡±

    ¡°But if you don¡¯t know who they are, then how can you judge whether you saved them or not? No matter how strong you might become in the future, you can¡¯t save the lives of every soldier out there.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not true. If I can become strong enough to win the war, I could do that.¡±

    ¡°So is that your goal? To become strong enough that you can end war?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sam lied, ¡°that was just an example.¡±

    ¡°I would think there are more concrete example you could give. To become a Chosen, for one. If you managed to become a Chosen, would that be enough for you to consider your goal having been met?¡±

    ¡°Sure, I guess. The only thing I care about is becoming the strongest version of myself possible. So that I¡¯ll be able to¡­ do the most good I can with my talents.¡±

    ¡°But you must realize that if you keep your goal so amorphous that you might never feel like you accomplished it. Even worse, you might start thinking that you failed. And according to you, that will surely mean that you will also be unhappy. A lose-lose situation again.¡±

    Sam suppressed an annoyed grunt and leaned back. This was going nowhere. This whole discussion was fruitless. He knew what success looked like; he knew what failure looked like; he just couldn¡¯t describe it to anyone. They were focusing on the least of his worries right now. ¡°Look, I assure you, I don¡¯t care about the future, whether I¡¯ll meet my amorphous goal or whatever. I¡¯m not worried about that. What¡¯s important to me is that right now, in the present, I do all I can to become stronger. That¡¯s measurable, that¡¯s concrete, that¡¯s my real goal. What I¡¯ll do with my strength doesn¡¯t matter as long as I did everything in my power to ensure I end up as strong as I possibly can be.¡±

    ¡°Alright. So what does it look like to do everything in your power to ensure you end up as strong as you can be? Are you currently falling short of that goal because you would usually be using this time for studying?¡±

    ¡°No. I realize that I¡¯m not a robot and sometimes I need to take it easy on myself. It¡¯s just¡­ I imagine myself like a character in a video game. Like the Sims, for example, doesn¡¯t matter if you¡¯re not familiar. The character has a bar for their fun or whatever. And if that bar drops too low, then the character starts feeling like shit and they can¡¯t function as well. For me, doing everything I can, means that I¡¯m never making the choice to ¡®improve my fun¡¯ when I don¡¯t need to. That everything else being equal, and I have the option of either training or doing something for fun, that I won¡¯t decide to do something for fun just because that¡¯s what my desires tell me to do. That as long as the physical and emotional parameters of who I am allow me to train and study effectively, that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing.

    ¡°Right now, I can¡¯t train and study as much as I usually do, and as effectively. I realize that. So it¡¯s alright if I don¡¯t do what I usually do. It¡¯s also alright if, at times like this, I do something for fun even though the bar is neutral. Because that would make me, in the game at least, feel better, which would cancel out some of the other shit I¡¯m feeling and help me train more and better overall. In the end, it¡¯s all about willpower. I need to be strong enough to not give in to the part of me that wants to play games instead of writing an essay or whatever. If I feel good enough to write the essay, and if I have enough energy, then the only thing standing between me and doing the right thing is myself. We¡¯re talking about needing to make a conscious choice that¡¯s decided by whether, at that moment, my willpower is stronger than my self-serving base desires.¡±

    ¡°And what happens if you make the ¡®wrong¡¯ conscious choice?¡± Rose asked. ¡°Does that mean that you immediately fall short of your goal? Because one time you didn¡¯t do all in your power to become stronger?¡±

    ¡°No. Probably not. But it¡¯s still means that I made the wrong choice. And that I might need to work harder in the future to fix it. But like I said, I was talking in video game terms. This was an ideal I¡¯ve described. In reality, I don¡¯t really know where my ¡®fun¡¯ bar is currently at, or whether my choice to take it easy is necessary or indulgent. I just need to remember my obligation and keep in mind the ideal. To try and give it my all when I can, and not let myself off easy unless I¡¯m absolutely certain that I need to ease off.

    ¡°Also, I take the opinion of other¡­ people into account. If they think that I¡¯m doing well enough, then I¡¯m willing to concede to their judgment. That allows me to take it easy if I¡¯m not sure that I need to, or allowed to, because they¡¯re like an objective observer. Like these last two days, for example. People told me that I have the time to lose and that it¡¯s OK for me to not train as hard while I feel like this. I¡¯m not bashing my head against the wall, lamenting every break I¡¯ve taken, as though I caused someone¡¯s death because of it.¡±

    Rose straightened in her sit and clasped her hands together. ¡°So what does this all mean for how you approach your mental health? Are you also looking at it, at our meetings, for example, as something that you must do, conscious choices that you must make even though you might desire to do something different? You placed training over happiness, yes, but you still need happiness in order to train. So is your approach to happiness the same as your approach to training? Is there an optimal path towards happiness the same way there is towards strength?¡±

    ¡°Well I don¡¯t know. I haven¡¯t thought about it all that much. I guess that I don¡¯t really see making myself feel better as something that I can actively do. Just something that will happen to me.¡±

    ¡°Why not? Coming to this meeting is something you actively did. Taking a break in order to feel better in the long run is an action.¡±

    ¡°Sure but it¡¯s not like there¡¯s another choice. Or a better choice, I should say. It¡¯s not like playing video games or cultivating where I might want the first strongly enough that it will prevent me from doing the latter even if I were able to. Right now, there¡¯s just this set list of things that will, hopefully, make me feel better. Let¡¯s say playing video games is the part of me that wants to be happy and cultivating is the part that wants to be strong. Right now, both parts are in unison. I need to make myself happier in order to be stronger. So I didn¡¯t really have to make a choice. It¡¯s not like there¡¯s two choices for what would make me happy, or mentally healthier, and I¡¯m choosing the one that will make me feel better faster, or that will allow me to train as well, but not the one I really want.¡±

    ¡°Alright. So let¡¯s say we¡¯re a couple of months into the future. And our meetings, and the passage of time, and a bunch of other things, made it so that you are able to go back to your usual schedule¡ª¡±

    ¡°I hope that it wouldn¡¯t take as long as that.¡±

    ¡°A month, then. In a month, you¡¯ll be feeling well enough to spend your Sunday morning studying like you usually did. Which means that you¡¯ll have a choice. Between having this appointment, in order to, in a way, feel happier, or studying, in order to become stronger. What will you do then? Does your pursuit of better mental health end the minute you are able to go back to how you behaved three days ago, because there is no need to ¡®raise the bar¡¯ any higher than the neutral level?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know about the future, but in the past, even when I was feeling pretty good, I still continued going to therapy. I still needed it, or thought that I needed it at least, in order to maintain how I felt. A friend of mine still goes to a therapist semi-regularly. Despite her being one of the most incredible and resilient people that I know. So I¡¯m assuming that I¡¯ll still keep the meetings going, even if it conflicts with my usual schedule. I mean, the only reason I didn¡¯t start with therapy up till today was because Maurice told me I should wait. Even when I was still feeling better three days ago, I realized that I¡¯ll probably be better off with it.¡±

    ¡°And would you be better off because it will make you happier? Or because it will help you dedicate more efforts to becoming stronger?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I think it¡¯s both. I need to maintain some level of ¡®happiness¡¯ in order to be able to dedicate more effort. But I since don¡¯t know what that level is, maybe I¡¯m being risk averse by keeping to the same weekly schedule instead of every two weeks or doing away with therapy all together.

    ¡°But yeah. You¡¯re right. When I¡¯m talking about feeling better, any why I wanted to go to therapy even before Friday, I¡¯m just thinking of a baseline of happiness. Exactly like the fun bar. It¡¯s the level of happy, or mental health, that I need to be in order to be able to dedicate my efforts to getting stronger in the most efficient way. So in a way, the optimal path towards happiness is just a part of the optimal path towards strength. Let¡¯s say I get to that baseline, and there are still levels of happiness above that, but reaching them would require me to make sacrifices in the optimal configuration of my training. Since I¡¯m hoping that I won¡¯t decide to make those ¡®sacrifices,¡¯ I guess that means that I would be prioritizing my overall strength over my overall happiness. But I would still be happy. Just maybe not as happy as I could maximally be. And I don¡¯t think it¡¯s even a bad thing for anyone not to pursue their ¡®maximum¡¯ happiness first and foremost.¡±

    Rose nodded. ¡°I certainly don¡¯t think there¡¯s anything wrong with making the choice you¡¯ve just described. It is an extreme to pursue your own happiness at all costs. But before you were talking about extreme happiness, you were talking about happiness that was only above a baseline, so you might be still be making a real sacrifice, a sacrifice that many people would struggle to make. Still, it is important that you understand that being happy is not a sign of a failure on your part, and not only that, but that you keep stressing the fact that happiness is important for your pursuit of your goals.

    ¡°Also, I think it¡¯s important for you to remember that as long as you¡¯re getting something out of your desires, of anything that makes you happier and raises your ¡®fun bar,¡¯ that it is not necessarily a bad choice; a failure of your willpower. You said yourself that you can¡¯t really know what¡¯s going on deep in your heart, and where your abilities and choices really lie. So it might be, that throughout your entire life, you would never actually make a choice that was ¡®bad.¡¯ And all the choices you¡¯ll make that were for your happiness instead of your strength were made because you had to, and you were practically unable to choose the latter option. And even when that¡¯s not true, it still doesn¡¯t mean that you weren¡¯t better served in the long run by choosing to pursue happiness instead of strength for a while. We¡¯re human beings¡ªnot robots, like you said¡ªwe can¡¯t and shouldn¡¯t always be perfect and unerring. Anxiety is important, and self-examination and even self-reproach as well, but with a goal and stakes as high as yours, you need to temper them or they will stop being a positive force.¡±

    Sam sighed. ¡°Yeah, I know that. I try to.¡±

    ¡°Good, it¡¯s very important that you remember that. Part of why you¡¯re struggling now, in my opinion, is that there¡¯s still a large part of you that won¡¯t allow you to rest and forgo training, no matter what. And that part is not rational. I¡¯m not a soldier, but according to what I¡¯ve been told, there is no reason for you to feel as though you haven¡¯t put in enough effort in your training. And you certainly don¡¯t have a reason to feel bad for not being able to put in as much effort in the last two days as you usually do. You need to internalize that you have been putting a lot of effort in, enough effort. But you will never be able to internalize that without allowing yourself some measure of ¡®error,¡¯ of straying from the optimal path. I assure you, once you accept both of those things, you will start feeling better.¡±

    ¡°Yeah well¡­ if I¡¯m being honest, it¡¯s mostly a bunch of other stuff that¡¯s doing my head in and making me feel like shit right now. Maybe you were right as far as the me from three days ago was concerned, but I don¡¯t think there¡¯s anything I can internalize right now that would make me feel better. That will only come time, therapy and a bunch of other stuff. And pills, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Time is certainly the most important component. And I believe our meetings will definitely help you. As for pills, I can prescribe you a psychiatric treatment as well, if you want.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the expert. You tell me if I want it or not.¡±

    ¡°From what we¡¯ve talked about, it seems to me that you see what you¡¯re going through, the process of bettering your mental health, as purely reliant on time passing. I¡¯m not arguing against that idea, don¡¯t misunderstand me. I agree with your assessment and I would be very happy to see it prove true. And if it is true, our therapy sessions are perhaps more of an accelerant for the process rather than a necessity. You said that you were already interested in therapy for quite a while, but you also said that ultimately, you were able to act optimally according to your goals without it. Of course, since therapy is already on the table and we¡¯ve both agreed to it, there¡¯s no reason to stop with it now, and I do believe that it will help hasten the process you¡¯re going through.

    ¡°But as for a psychiatric treatment, since you feel so strongly about your ability to overcome your current mental state in time, and with the help of therapy. Then¡­ let¡¯s say that I don¡¯t think there is a necessity for you to go down a psychiatric avenue unless you want to. If I had a pill that I could give you that would magically make you feel like you did three days ago, with no mental or physical side effects, I would gladly give you one. But there isn¡¯t. You¡¯re probably familiar enough with psychiatric treatment to know that it takes time to start working, and it can take a lot of trial and error. So if you feel like you can do without it, and as long as you don¡¯t want it, I would advise that we to continue as is, at least for now. Of course, I can still prescribe you with something for emergencies. Like a panic attack, for example. The won¡¯t be as part of a long-term regimen, but it could certainly be an aid that, as long as you use it in moderation, would have no side effects.¡±

    Sam shrugged with a sigh. ¡°Yeah, I really don¡¯t have one strong opinion on one side or the other. So if you think I¡¯ll do fine without than that¡¯s what I¡¯ll go with.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Then I will write you a prescription for the latter option I suggested. I¡¯ll leave when to take the pills up to you. You¡¯re not supposed to take them for more than a week straight, but since we¡¯re meeting once a week, just make sure to tell me if you did and we¡¯ll see where to go from there.¡±

    ¡°Alright.¡± Sam looked at the clock behind her. ¡°So same time next week, I assume?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll also give you my number. Feel free to contact me at any hour of the day if you need to. And before you get up, I would like to mention that if you want to keep this, or other meetings a little longer, that¡¯s alright. We¡¯re not on the clock here. And of course, if you feel like you want to meet more than once a week¡­¡±

    Sam nodded while getting up. ¡°Thanks. But I¡¯m alright for today. See you next week.¡±

    She got up to accompany him to the door. ¡°Take care, Sam.¡±