ã€ŠPath of the Whisper Womanã€‹


 Ch. 1: On the Calling Road

    I vowed to drink the shadows when I was nine years old. Turn my lips as black as the goddess¡¯s own as She passed me on the road and become one of Her whisper women. Mother took me to see the procession because she wanted me to become what she never could be. She told me it was to put the fear of the goddess in me. Mother didn¡¯t think much of the times she caught me looking bored, but watching my younger siblings was tedious and I was only allowed to learn about Mother¡¯s herbs when orders were slow, and patients weren¡¯t keeping her busy. According to her it was time for me to focus on learning what I could to become a whisper woman.

    We arrived at the Calling Road early. Staked out a spot near the Goddess¡¯s Wood, so we would be among the first to lay eyes on Her and Her whisper women. There was an unspoken hope that we would be able see what truly happened when She called the night. The old man who spun wool liked to speculate that they sacrificed a young boy for the ritual and that they always picked the fairest one, no matter where he was in the Realm. The huntresses always scoffed whenever he said it but then they would hide their sons away in their tents when the time for the procession drew near¡ªeven the ugly ones. I was more inclined to agree with Grandmother. She would give the old man an impatient look and shut him up by asking why the goddess would need a boy, of all things, for a ritual. The rare times he made to counter her after that question, she would shut him up good and final by asserting the time when she had seen the goddess call the night as a young girl. She said the night spilled out of the goddess¡¯s hair and hands. And that¡¯s when Grandmother¡¯s sister, Old Lily, would snort and tell Grandmother to stop lying, that everything had gone dark all at once, but no one listened to Old Lily because they were too eager to hear Grandmother¡¯s story for the hundredth time. I was determined to figure out the truth of it as I stood the forest¡¯s edge and tried to will my eyes to see past all the evergreen needles and trunks into the forest¡¯s depths.

    Mother fidgeted with my cloak and hair as we waited and people hemmed the road in around us. They would stretch for miles, from here to the Seedling Palace, all hoping to get a glimpse of the goddess and Her elite on their yearly walk to welcome the recruits who passed the year¡¯s trials into their ranks. I didn¡¯t let my gaze waver from the spot where the Calling Road abruptly ended at the forest¡¯s edge to look at the crowd¡ªI doubted they were that different from my own tribe and besides, I knew there wasn¡¯t a single one who could be as interesting as the goddess.

    Mother knelt down beside me once the morning sun was high in the sky. ¡°Don¡¯t forget to prick your mark when She appears¡ªand bow your head. Don¡¯t shame me.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Mother.¡± I pulled my prayer needle from my waist pouch without shifting my focus from the forest.

    She stood back up and readied her own needle. Shuffles, whispers, and then the longest moment of my life. There was no noise in that moment except for a single, loud thump from my heart. The goddess stepped through the shadow of a large evergreen as if it was a tent flap that only needed to be brushed aside. I didn¡¯t blink, didn¡¯t breathe. Didn¡¯t jab my needle into my thigh and avert my gaze like I knew I should. Her skin was a deep blue, the shade just before true night, that faded into the deep black of her hair that glittered with hundreds of tiny, captured stars. A dress of ash colored leaves and darker shadow curled around her waist and chest, leaving one shoulder free. My eyes widened through the shock as I realized that She seemed to only be a few inches taller than me. The goddess, my goddess, stepped forward again and the moment broke.

    I dropped my gaze, yanked up my skirt, and pricked one of the black diamonds that formed my mark on my thigh with more force than necessary as other people noticed Her and scrambled to do the same. Blood welled and I suppressed a hiss of pain. Immediately, the blood dried and flaked away, but that didn¡¯t seem like a sufficient enough offering when the goddess was only a handful of yards away. What if She knew that I hadn¡¯t immediately offered my blood to Her? Terror dried out my mouth and throat. Of course, She had to know¡ªShe was the goddess. I pricked another diamond and another. The goddess¡¯s bare feet stepped smoothly by, shadows gathering and curling around the hem of Her dress like a pack of puppies begging for attention. The air changed as She passed, a misty coolness settling on my exposed skin, and the strong morning light quickly faded in a deep gray, like the night on a full moon. There was no sacrificed boy or inky darkness spilling from Her hands and hair.

    Heliquat walked and the night followed.

    I cowered, breath short, arms shaking, legs weak. I only stayed upright because everyone knew that She hated weakness and there was nothing weaker than crumbling into a sniveling ball. I raised my needle to bleed my mark again as more feet passed, covered in soft looking fur shoes when one set of feet shifted direction. A cold, deathly pale hand gripped mine before I could bring the needle down. For a single, irrational second I thought it belonged to a shamble man and a scream built in my throat. My head snapped up to look at the threat and the scream froze into a lump, blocking air and words. A whisper woman.

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    Her lips were as black and dark as the shadows in the deepest part of a forest that never got to know sunlight, her skin and hair were paler than I had ever thought possible. Her dress had been crafted to reveal the large swirling mark on her left side, an unapologetic statement of power. My panic started to swell again as I recognized her from tales and rumors that never ceased about the goddess¡¯s favorites. Lithunia, the High Priestess, second only to the goddess¡¯s Beloved. She looked at me, passive and unreadable, until her lips and grip tightened slightly, ¡°No, child.¡± Then she let go and swept back into her place in the procession.

    I stared at where she had been. At my hand that she¡¯d touched. Then I brought my gaze up to look at the sea of bowed heads around me, the countless dotted pricked wrists held out in supplication, my mother¡¯s among them. I took in the spreading darkness as the goddess and Her chosen few continued down the road, heads held high and proud, bless marks bared. There was no terror there, no weakness.

    My body began to shudder and the scream bumbled its way out of my throat in a whimper. I sank to the ground as my knees became too weak to hold me up even as I hated my body for the betrayal. My stomach felt sick and queasy, like I had just ate a bowl of pluckings that had sat out too long in the sun during the warm season. Even lightheaded and panting I refused to succumb completely to my weakness. I wouldn¡¯t wrap my arms around my middle to hold the pain in, I wouldn¡¯t curl into a ball or cry. I wasn¡¯t a child.

    A disgusted snort came from overhead as those around me began to shift and move. ¡°You were supposed to be better than this.¡±

    I swallowed so that I could speak past the dryness in my mouth and throat, and looked up at Mother to ask, ¡°I thought you wanted me to be afraid?¡±

    She clicked her tongue and gestured at me, ¡°Afraid, not¡ªnot pitiful. If you were a proper daughter, you¡¯d be able to accept your place and Her greatness without breaking.¡± She narrowed her eyes at me. ¡°Fear would teach you to be smart rather than clever. Get up.¡±

    I forced myself to my feet, grumbling, ¡°You¡¯re never satisfied.¡±

    ¡°What was that?¡± she snapped.

    I glared and snapped back at her, ¡°I said that you¡¯re never satisfied.¡±

    Mother got a far away look for a moment before it quickly changed to one of her three looks of disappointment¡ªlips pressed together, chin slightly raised, eyes looking down her nose¡ªher favorite look for me. She flipped her braid over her shoulder. ¡°Satisfaction is for dumb fools that see what¡¯s around them and accepts that¡¯s all there is to be had. Why would I ever have need to be satisfied?¡± Mother spat out the last word like a curse.

    ¡°You just said that a proper daughter accepts her place.¡±

    She crossed her arms. ¡°There is a difference between accepting your place as one of the goddess¡¯s Daughters and settling for being some no name member of a water hole tribe.¡± Her voice took on her teaching tone, weighted and stern. ¡°The worst kind of weakness is the kind that¡¯s too cowardly to make use of all resources at its disposal. Always strive for more, Gimlea. Always.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hard to strive for anything when you never let me do anything.¡±

    ¡°Ambition is?¡± She prompted.

    Knowing there was no way around it, I supplied the end of one of her favorite phrases, ¡°Nothing without discipline.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Mother clicked her tongue. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you make me work so hard.¡±

    The sky started to lighten back to its mid-morning glory and as the sunlight got stronger my fear and its stupid weakness subsided only to replaced by exhaustion. I had to blink my eyes rapidly and clamp my mouth shut to stay awake and suppress a yawn. Mother didn¡¯t need another thing to get picky and disappointed about.

    ¡°So?¡± When I didn¡¯t answer she pointed down the road. ¡°Why else did I bring you here? Let you see the procession when you aren¡¯t even at your blooding years?¡±

    ¡°Because¡­¡± My brain felt sluggish and I railed against it. Mother always hated no answers more than my clever ones. ¡°Because you wanted to show me what to aim for?¡±

    Her favorite disappointed look sharped her face again. ¡°To show you your opposition.¡± She knelt in front of me and took a hold of my chin. ¡°Goddess knows why, but you have the one thing needed to reach true power in this place.¡±

    I knew this answer. ¡°My mark.¡±

    She glanced down at my covered thigh before drilling her will through her gaze into mine again. ¡°Your blessed mark. And that means you can rise to their station, surpass them.¡±

    Just to be difficult I pointed out, ¡°I can¡¯t become Her Beloved.¡±

    Mother¡¯s gaze hardened. ¡°No, but you can take what¡¯s theirs. Become the High Priestess, take her position, and you¡¯ll be above her and all the others.¡±

    Lithunia¡¯s pale face rose in my mind, her cold fingers wrapping around my hand. ¡°Except for the Beloved.¡±

    ¡°Gimlea.¡± All she had to say was my name and her tone made the meaning clear. Don¡¯t throw away your opportunity, Gimlea, the opportunity I never had. This isn¡¯t all about you. Don¡¯t be selfish. Don¡¯t be weak.

    Lithunia could say no. Her and her Sisters had been proud and tall. I couldn¡¯t imagine fear and shame even touching their heads and backs. They were the goddess¡¯s chosen.

    ¡°I understand, Mother. I¡¯ll try.¡± But not for you. I¡¯ll drink shadows and learn and reach the top so that I get to say ¡°no¡± and you¡¯ll have to find someone else to bully.

    She chucked my chin and stood back up. ¡°You won¡¯t try, you¡¯ll do it.¡± She gestured toward the direction we came from. ¡°Now that you understand, let¡¯s go. It¡¯s a long journey back to the tribe.¡±

    I wouldn¡¯t be weak ever again. ¡°Yes, Mother.¡±

 Ch. 2: Sickness

    After the procession, I didn''t have to watch my siblings as much. They were left to fend for themselves amid barrels of fishing spears and hooks, carving stations stained red, and the old people''s gossip while Mother drilled every last scrap of information about our religion into my head. I wished I could join them, sink my feet into the sticky clay at the edge of the lake and relax the tension knotted along my shoulders and neck. Instead I got a headache that pulsed deep behind my eyes and that never quite went away.

    Learning wasn''t the problem. I knew I needed to prepare any way I could for whatever secretive madness the Seedling Palace employed to train those that disappeared inside it. I liked the way my head felt heavy with facts and stories about the sects and our goddess at the end of day. Liked the feeling of progress, the knowledge that every step I took closer to Her, the further I was from Mother. Even if she didn''t know it.

    The horrible part was sitting on the faded brown cushion in the corner of Mother''s shop. The way her eyes shot to me any time I moved. The twisting of her mouth when I turned my head to catch whatever bit of gossip or laughter trailed by outside. The spark of hope I couldn''t quite crush every time I answered a question correctly, but that she quenched with no effort at all. I can''t remember a time that she smiled, not even to the twins.

    Questions, answers. Religion and herbs. Mother''s disappointment, Mother''s impatience. The eighty six basic characters written and read over and over in the dirt. The faded cushion. A throbbing headache. That was my next three years with one exception.

    A few days before my twelfth naming day Mother decided it was more than time we learned what my gift was. Everyone else in my tribe already knew theirs, never mind that wasn''t such a difficult problem when they all had the dots on the inside of their wrists¡ªA bit of fire for them and everyone else. The only thing they really had to figure out was if they were a Spark or Candle, and that was as simple as snapping their fingers and seeing if flame lit up across the way or on their fingers.

    Nor did my Mother care for the fact that my blessed mark wasn''t Named, and its power didn''t seem to care to easily manifest itself as had some girl''s power from across the river. Hearing about her ability to call down birds cut the last thread of Mother''s patience. I was dragged out to the lake''s edge and was commanded to yell at fish and bugs and a sparrow that flew by for the next while. Then she had me punch and kick a log, jump, hold my breath under the water until I thought I was going to pass out and drown, jump 50 times, sing, scream, stare at the lake, will fog into being, and other exercises that made me look and sound like an idiot. She wasn''t very efficient about it.

    The lakeside was graying and dark with only a thin silver of red daylight to light our way as we made our way back to the tents through the fishing area. Mother had fallen into her second look of disappointment. The brooding one that drew her eyebrows down and clenched her jaw. I was silent too, but more from exhaustion and the satisfaction of not hearing her voice.

    We were nearly halfway through the fishing area when I took a step forward and felt something hard and wrong slice through my foot. I looked down and saw a large fishing hook impaling my right foot. I sank down to touch it, one finger outstretched. Pain bloomed as soon as I wiggled it and a moan of pain escaped before I could swallow it back down.

    "Mother," my voice was as even as I could make it. No tears, no weakness.

    She turned and squinted at me in the growing dark. "What are you doing? Get up."

    My foot was pulsing now. "My foot. A hook..."

    "If you want something you''re going to have to talk louder."

    I cleared my throat and forced the threadiness from my voice, "There''s a hook in my foot."

    She beckoned. "Then stop wasting time on the ground. All of my herbs are back at my shop and there''s not enough light out here."

    Mother turned and continued toward the tents. I gritted my teeth and followed her. When I hobbled into her shop it was a shock to find none of my teeth had cracked. She made me sit on the faded cushion and then began to push the hook through without warning. I growled at her, but refused to scream. An eternity later she packed the bleeding open wound with herbs and wrapped it in cloth.

    It still got infected.

    No doubt because of the mud and fish guts I was forced to limp through.

    --

    At first there was just stabbing pain whenever I accidentally put weight on my injured foot. Mother didn''t so much as assure me that it would get better, or tell me how long it would take to heal. She sat me on the cushion, placed the herbs she used in front of me, and bid me to memorize their names, properties, and common uses by the end of the day. Mother didn''t see attending to the injured and sick as a benevolent act, instead each tincture and salve was a weapon in her fight for recognition and respect. The healed weren''t people but conquests and stepping stones toward her goal, those that were healing were potential threats and liabilities, and those that didn''t take to her administrations were unmentionable failures. She didn''t need compassion; she needed results. Positive results.

    So by the end of the third day, when my foot pulsed with heat and the skin around my wound puffed with angry redness, I told her that if she really wanted me to be prepared for the Seedling Palace I should be able to attend to my injury myself. Mother narrowed her eyes at me, said I could dress my foot that night after she checked my salve and that she would check how my work held up in the morning. She had me redo the herb mixture twice and berated me for the waste. When she went back to her own work I quickly wrapped my foot in cloth alone and slipped my approved mixture into the bowls of the rejected salves.

    The next day, my twelfth naming day, a man came running in from one of the other tribes with news of a hunt gone wrong. After he paid my mother''s first fee, the one for outsiders who made her use up her precious time to travel to the injured, she left to go save their leader''s son and was much too preoccupied to remember to check my foot or thank the goddess that her child had survived another year. I thanked the goddess myself, and then time dissolved into a disorientated fog.

    I remember being too chilled for the cold air to account for and not even the cooking fire could sooth all of my shivers. The twins tried to get me to play before sharing a scared look when all I could do was weakly swat at them. I think they ran to get Father because I remember his big hand on my forehead next. He swore loudly and I sank back into sleep before the shock of that could truly register.

    Mother didn''t swear when she unwrapped my foot and saw the weeping, red wound. Her favorite look of disappointment slid over her face and she regarded me with it for what felt like a small eternity. I could feel her weighing the costs and benefits of saving me in that look, and the moment the scale tipped in my favor. A clicked tongue and, "After all the work I put into you? Shameful."

    She set to work forcing liquids down my throat, broths and boiled water cooled just long enough not to be scalding. I remember the feeling of lightning crackle up my leg as she washed out the wound with spirits and smeared it with mixture after mixture. Poked and prodded at my foot while I nearly bit my tongue as I tried to convince her to stop through my chattering teeth. She slept close and was always, unbearably there whenever I opened my eyes. There''s nothing like a desperate woman fighting save the reputation she''d built over long years from one devastating blow.

    I know I wasn''t thinking of death that night when I decided to deceive Mother and forgo the salve. I think I wanted her to hurt where I knew the blow would strike deepest. Show her that she couldn''t control everything about me, decide everything for me. Perhaps some idiotic part of me hoped to illicit that same look of concern my sister got when she scraped her knee. Or perhaps some panic. Anything but the veiled jealousy and open disappointment.

    I was thinking about death as my foot continued to flame hot while the rest of my freezing body locked up from the endless shivering. I felt the goddess''s watchful gaze slowly grow stronger and the brush of pine needles along my skin as moving my limbs became too much of an effort. I thought I heard the scrapping of a Carver''s wide knife putting the final touches on the Carver''s Maze, a delirious mix of carved symbols, lines, and interlocking branches woven around a hollowed out log¡ªdesigned so that a person''s soul could escape to the Silver Forest, but their corpse would be trapped, unable to rise again, even if it survived the funeral pyre.Thinking was as far as I got. Just when I thought the goddess''s gaze was going to widen fully and consume me, I felt my other leg begin to burn, high on my thigh, and She sighed and turned away. Not fully gone, but no longer threatening to sever me from my body. My thigh continued to burn, but it was a different type of heat than from my wound. It felt like the pricks of a thousand needles, light and sharp, and separated into seven areas. Slowly, dully, I realized it was my mark. I waited for it to make the pain in my other leg stop, to calm the shivers, and warm me up, but all it did was pulse stronger when the goddess began to turn Her gaze back and She would turn back away.

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    It was agony. All I could do was lie there, burning and freezing, at Mother''s mercy, at the goddess''s mercy, at my wound''s mercy, at my mark''s. And there was precious little mercy in that group to go around. I could barely choke down the liquids Mother gave me, much less any solids, and the shivers and pain made sleep a precious commodity. Hunger and exhaustion both wasted me thin, but I didn''t die. I couldn''t die, though by that time I was craving it. My mark kept me right on the edge, feeling the full ravages of sickness, hunger, and exhaustion but unable to slip into their promised solution.

    Mother thinks she saved me in the end. I won''t credit her with it. My mark has brought me back from more tangible things, without the use of liquids and herbs. Slowly, interminably slowly, but it has.

    She started to bleed me using the fat bellied leeches in the lake. I think they would have been the fourth thing to kill me, if it wasn''t for my mark, but they did take the swelling down. Mother also cut the dying flesh from my foot and smeared the rest in pulper''s honey. If I had the capacity, I would have been surprised she used the expensive stuff on me. If anything started the process that brought me back from the edge, it was probably the honey. Not Mother, but the honey. Anyone with working hands could have smeared it on the wound. Perhaps in my foggy haze I had mistaken Father''s hands for hers. He was more likely to care enough to use it, though perhaps Mother had gotten truly desperate. Perhaps.

    --

    Mother barely waited until I was lucid enough for simple questions before starting her interrogation. She watched me like a gabbler fish, circling and needle teeth sharp, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. But unlike the gabbler fish''s prey, Mother knew I didn''t the strength or speed to wriggle out of her grasp.

    We stared each other down as she fed me the last mouthful of salty fish broth and lakeweed. I was propped up against a lumpy sack of pine cones, so Mother wouldn''t have to touch me anymore than necessary. We both liked it better that way. Tired of of being treated like prey I fought off the sleep that liked to claim me after eating and waited. Mother set the bowl aside and when she turned back and saw that my eyes hadn''t drifted closed her jaw set. She drew herself up as tall as she could from where she sat on a cushion next to my right hip.

    "What did you do?"

    I licked my lips and answered, "You did it."

    Mother''s second look of disappointment settled onto her face. "I saved you."

    My head felt full and foggy, but I knew it was my mark and the honey that had saved me and Mother had no place in that. "You made me walk through mud and fish guts. And your salve didn''t work. You did it."

    Mother leaned forward, intent. "You did something. I know it. Or the salve would have worked."

    I stared back at her and remained silent, too tired to work up any other form of defiance. We stayed like that for two long heartbeats before she sat back.

    "Fine. We''ll come back to that." Mother''s healer''s beads clinked as she tucked the dark hair they hung on behind her right ear. "You''ve been ill for nearly two weeks and you should have died within a third of that time. Your wound should have worsened even further. Was it your mark?"

    I blinked up at her, as innocent as could be. "You mean your renowned healing skills failed, Mother?"

    Her teeth ground together. "I saved you, you little fool."

    I slid my eyes away in apparent disbelief. My voice was empty when I spoke, "Oh. Thank you, Mother."

    She snarled, "Someday you will learn to be smart rather than clever, and you will not enjoy the cost of that lesson." I flinched and she gripped my jaw and forced me to face her. "Was. It. Your. Mark?" I tried to shrink back but her grip and the sack checked my movement. Mother demanded, "Tell me."

    I swallowed. "Yes."

    She closed her eyes and let out an aggravated sigh before pinning me with them again. "Details, daughter."

    "It wouldn''t let me die." Mother drew back as if she had been slapped and released me. Seeing the affect my words had, I said them again. "My mark wouldn''t let me die."

    "Dark Lady!" Mother swore through clenched teeth and it was my turn to reel. Mother hated it when anyone swore and she never did it herself, much less invoking the name the goddess had been called during the Era of Night. I had only heard it once before when Grandmother whispered it to me.

    She gained control of herself and glared at me. "You''re certain?"

    "She was there, I was on the edge, but She turned away once my mark began to burn."

    I saw Mother bite back another curse and I felt an odd bubble of satisfaction rise in my chest. I had a blessing that kept me from the goddess''s most sacred aspect. Mother hated it, but she couldn''t change what She had done and I got to see futility spasm across Mother''s face and down to her twitching fingers. And for that, if nothing else, my mark made me smile despite the fresh memory of its inflicted agony. Mother leaned back, like I might bite off one of her fingers, and I smiled even wider, making sure every last tooth gleamed in the firelight.

    Then she blinked and I felt any significance she held for me melt away and disappear. Her wariness was instantly replaced with disgust and my grin shriveled under the realization that I wasn''t even worth disappointment anymore. She spat a single word at me and rose to walk from the tent into the early afternoon sunlight.

    Useless.

    I should have known. Should have looked further into the future and lied, instead of gloating in a moment of satisfaction. What use would Mother have for girl whose birth denied the goddess twice over? If I had been just a healer''s daughter or just a girl with a blessing that denied death, I stood a thin chance of rising to the upper ranks of the goddess''s chosen. But both? To try would be to spit into Heliquat''s eye. Mother knew, and I should have realized, that it didn''t matter if the goddess had blessed me with the ability or not, just like it didn''t matter that we learned and practiced healing because we were born into a line of healers. Everyone had their place; no matter how Mother liked to pretend otherwise with her talk of ambition and power. There was a reason she had planned to use me instead of working to become High Priestess herself.

    There was little enough room for healers¡ªwho were both tolerated and feared for the life they gave in a society that had learned a healthy fear for the goddess that ruled them. A goddess who was often synonymous with death and the afterlife. There was always the chance that a healer would imbue too much life and catch the goddess''s eye. Everyone knew that Heliquat didn''t take kindly to the disregard and challenge of Her power that such a display of life insinuated.

    I had too much life in me. And no one, not the goddess nor her priestesses, nor even my fellow tribe members would respond well to that fact. If they learned that a healer''s daughter bore a blessing that denied death I would end up in a funeral pyre. The only question would be if I burned alive or not.

    So I was useless. And Mother was gone.

    I started to lift my arms to rub my aching head, but had to stop short and left them fall back to my sides when the aching soreness permeating my body became unbearable. I couldn''t get rid of my mark or change its blessing. I could renounce my healer''s heritage, but the stigma of who I''d been born to would likely still follow me. I looked too much like my mother and the years I spent learning my mother''s craft wasn''t something those who knew me would be likely to forget.

    There was really only one solution: I couldn''t be myself.

    I closed my eyes and pictured a sack. It was rather unremarkable, rough brown canvas, a bit dusty, with a long, thick rope to tie it securely shut. First, I focused on the hurt cracking across my chest. It felt raw and broke a bit wider every time I glanced to the side saw that Mother wasn''t there, every time I remembered her final declaration. It had been unbearable when she was there while I lay sick and fevered, and now it was unbearable when she was gone. I had been reduced from a liability to an unmentionable failure. I took that hurt and ripped it out by the roots before smashing it into a ball and shoving it into the very bottom of my sack. After that, it was easier to get rid of the other memories of Mother¡ªbeing told to walk through mud and fish guts with a hook in my foot, the endless lessons on healing and ambition and whatever else Mother thought I should know. The lecture after the goddess''s procession, every time she called me clever or gave me her signature looks of disappointment¡ªthey all went into the sack until it was nearly bursting. I held the sack closed and pictured cutting off Mother''s words every time I wrapped the rope around the canvas. Once, twice, three times. I tied it shut with the most complicated fishing knot I knew. Then I pictured a cooking fire; I took the hottest burning piece of fire moss and thrust it onto the sack. It caught fire instantly. I watched and waited as it burned down to ash, ignoring the empty feeling that grew in my gut the more it burned. Once black ash was all that remained I opened my eyes.

    When I did, I no longer felt the need to cry or whimper or beg Mother to come back. Emptiness and purpose were the only things left; I was no longer my mother''s daughter.

    I smiled, forcing grim satisfaction onto my face and into the emptiness. I would have what Levain of Gabbler Shore could never have. I would be what she could never be. But there had been one thing she had rooted so deep that I hadn''t been able to yank it out, one saying that if I had burned it with all the rest I would no longer know how to handle myself.

    "Ambition is nothing without discipline."

 Ch. 3: Helping Hand

    Grandmother came and got me a few hours later. I expected it. Grandmother and Old Lily took care of the orphaned and soul bent children until they reached adulthood.

    Grandmother dripped with pity when she scooped me into her strong arms. ¡°Poor child¡ªcast aside twice over for the circumstances of your birth.¡±

    I struggled against her, but I was too weak and sore for it to have effect. ¡°I don¡¯t need your pity.¡±

    ¡°Hmmm.¡± Grandmother gazed down at me as her braided gray hair tickled my cheek. ¡°We¡¯ll see, child.¡±

    She carried me through the camp, ignoring my protests and the stares of what seemed like all two hundred or so people in the tribe, until we reached her tent. It was dark brown and marked with an off white hand stitched above the doorway.

    She flicked her chin in the direction of the hand. ¡°I¡¯d do my best not to bite the hand that¡¯s willing to help you if you want to survive, child. Just a thought to keep in mind.¡±

    Grandmother brought me into the tent and laid me down on a reed mat. ¡°You¡¯ll have to be patient for a proper bedroll. We weren¡¯t expecting a new arrival.¡± I stared at the tent ceiling and ignored her. I wasn¡¯t going to be taken in again so soon. She clicked her tongue. ¡°So that¡¯s how it¡¯ll be, eh?¡±

    She turned to a boy about my age whose foot bent an odd way and Old Lily, who had paused their basket weaving to watch. ¡°She¡¯s too good for us now that her mother doesn¡¯t want her, apparently.¡±

    I snapped, ¡°I don¡¯t have a mother.¡±

    Grandmother raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°That so?¡± She shrugged. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want that woman as my daughter, much less my mother either.¡±

    Old Lily shook her head. ¡°She¡¯s had a difficult time, sister, there¡¯s no need to be crass.¡±

    Grandmother waved away her words. ¡°I¡¯m too old to be anything but blunt. I¡¯ll see you at the fire tonight with Raya and Gran. No doubt they¡¯re bothering the fishing folk right now. If you think she needs coddling, I¡¯ll leave that to you.¡±

    She left the tent and I closed my eyes to avoid the boy¡¯s and Old Lily¡¯s glance. It didn¡¯t take long for me to will myself to sleep. The priority now was to heal and start preparing for the Seedling Palace in my own way.

    --

    I was ready to crawl off my mat by the end of the first day just to get away from Old Lily¡¯s cloying attempts at kindness and pity. I had no need for them. The children¡¯s stares and prodding questions didn¡¯t help either. I ignored them at first, but when that didn¡¯t work I took a note from my upbringing and used my words to cut into their weaknesses. It was pathetically easy. They learned to avoid me after that. I tolerated Grandmother because she refused to mince her words.

    She eyed me after my latest snap at Old Lily. Grandmother paused sewing the knee of a pair of pants back together to warn, ¡°What did I say about the helping hand?¡±

    I glared back her. ¡°I can take care of myself.¡±

    She scoffed, ¡°You can barely move. Lily, just change her bandage. She won¡¯t be able to stop you even if she does whine.¡±

    Old Lily gave me an apologetic look and started to do as her sister said. ¡°It won¡¯t hurt, child.¡± I tried to pull my foot from her dry hands, but Old Lily kept it firmly in place. ¡°Please don¡¯t be difficult.¡±

    I stopped fighting her because the soreness was still painful enough to make me grit my teeth every time I moved. And I had no desire for the wound to worsen again. I¡¯d spent more than enough time on the edge of death. Old Lily was quick and efficient. It was odd to see someone else who wasn¡¯t Mo¡ªLevain attending to an injury, but bandages weren¡¯t confined to the healer¡¯s domain.

    When her sister finished and left the tent to wash the dirty bandages in the lake, Grandmother tapped the side of her head to indicate where my healer¡¯s beads hung by my face. ¡°Are you going to renounce those now that you no longer have a mother?¡±

    I could feel the weight of the four beads pulling lightly on my hair. A constant reminder of my heritage and permission to explore the possibilities hidden in plants and potions, salves and poultices. I could picture the four beads: berry red, ocre, moss green, and bone white; all uncarved because I hadn¡¯t completed my apprenticeship. The smart thing to do was to cut them off and renounce the healer¡¯s path. If I did that I would never be allowed to practice healing again, but the stigma of being a healer¡¯s daughter would lessen. Cutting them off would increase my chances of rising through the ranks of the blessed. I had known that and she had know it, but they were mine and I liked learning about healing. Levain had tried to cut them off once while I slept; I¡¯d woken when I felt something pulling on my hair and bitten her hand. She stopped trying then and instead redoubled my lessons about healing, because if I couldn¡¯t do the smart thing then she wouldn¡¯t accept anything less than my best.

    ¡°So?¡± Grandmother prompted as she made another even stitch.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need her in order to keep them.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps not, but you can¡¯t do much with them without a teacher.¡±

    I scowled at her. ¡°Then I¡¯ll find another one. A better healer than her.¡±

    Grandmother snorted. ¡°Your mother is the best healer in the northwest. There¡¯s a reason that young man came to her to save his tribe¡¯s leader''s son a couple weeks ago and that no one complains much about her extra fees.¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯ll find someone who isn¡¯t in the northwest.¡±

    She shook her head. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know the first place to look. I doubt you even know where the tribe closest to ours is.¡±

    I snapped, ¡°There¡¯s one across the river.¡±

    ¡°Not the closest. They¡¯ve already continued on their run.¡± Grandmother fixed her gaze on me. ¡°But let¡¯s focus on them for a moment. Do you know if they have a healer? Would you know how to track them and what the best points are to meet them on their run if they did? Would you know what¡¯s safe to gather and eat or how to hunt, or would you starve before you ever caught up with them? Do you know the safest routes to travel to avoid the bandit tribes or the worst predators?¡± She huffed. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t survive, child.¡±

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    ¡°I¡¯ve traveled before.¡±

    ¡°Oh, eh, to the procession with your mother. And she put you in charge of navigation? Supplies? Or did you toddle along in her wake?¡±

    I gritted my teeth. ¡°I don¡¯t have a mother.¡±

    She finished her row of of stitches and bit off her thread after tying it off. ¡°That¡¯s not an answer.¡±

    ¡°I had to focus on identifying everything with healing properties and recite what I saw to her at the end of the day.¡±

    ¡°And she always spotted more despite the other things she was doing?¡±

    I refused to answer that.

    Grandmother sighed. ¡°The point, child, is that you aren¡¯t helping yourself by keeping those beads, and nature isn¡¯t so kind as to ignore a defenseless, ignorant child traveling alone. Being able to heal won¡¯t do you much good if you don¡¯t know how to survive in the first place.¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯ll learn¡ªbut I¡¯m keeping my beads.¡± I refused to let Levain take everything from me just by walking away.

    She considered me for a moment before nodding. ¡°At least you aren¡¯t a complete pride-blind idiot. I¡¯ll introduce you to the huntresses once you¡¯ve healed enough to walk on your own.¡±

    --

    The twins came to visit before I was well enough to avoid them. Grandmother brought them into the tent, commanded us to talk, and cleared everyone else out. I didn¡¯t talk, just stared at them. We never had spent much quality time together, not after the procession, and when I had watched them before I had mostly sat back while they played. I told myself it was because I was too grownup to play in their childish games¡ªI knew the truth was that I kept myself separate because Levain always hovered in between us. None of us wanted to displease her, but I always did, so the twins learned to keep their distance too.

    Adley stepped forward and spoke first while Kem trailed anxiously behind. ¡°Mother won¡¯t tell us why you left and we missed you.¡±

    I recoiled on my mat. ¡°Why?¡±

    Adley¡¯s brows scrunched together. ¡°Because your our sister.¡±

    Kem piped up, ¡°And Mother¡¯s different now that you¡¯re gone.¡±

    Adley gave him a censuring look. ¡°What Kem means is that she misses you too, but she doesn¡¯t know to say it.¡±

    A dry laugh crackled out of me. ¡°No, she doesn¡¯t. What Kem means is that she¡¯s no longer the doting mother now that I¡¯m not there to take the brunt of of her bad temper.¡± I put ice into my gaze and voice. ¡°But here¡¯s the catch: she isn¡¯t my mother anymore. I¡¯m not going back and she wouldn¡¯t take me in if I did. So, you¡¯re going to have to learn how to handle it or come up with a different solution.¡±

    Adley snapped, ¡°Mother isn¡¯t being mean to us!¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Then realization hit me and I glared at her. ¡°You always were the favorite.¡±

    She crossed her arms and lifted her chin. ¡°Mother rewards good behavior.¡±

    I rolled my eyes.

    ¡°Mother wants us to learn the healer¡¯s craft,¡± Kem pouted.

    I wasn¡¯t moved to pity. ¡°Then learn it.¡±

    Anger flashed across his face. ¡°But then no one will want to play with us!¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°You¡¯ll deal with it. I did.¡±

    Adley wasn¡¯t done with her earlier tactic. ¡°Mother cares about you. If you just came with us and she saw you¡ª¡±

    ¡°No.¡± They paled at the vehemence in my voice. I continued, ¡°Don¡¯t pretend we¡¯re a family that cares. I¡¯m a failed result to her, that¡¯s it. And you never helped me, so I see no reason to help you.¡± Adley started to say something else but I cut her off. ¡°Leave.¡±

    They left.

    After their faces fell into their mother¡¯s second, brooding look of disappointment.

    --

    Grandmother was true to her word. The day after my temper snapped when I found Old Lily yet again waiting for me outside the latrine to help me walk back to the tent and I forced my legs to carry me back without her help, Grandmother took me to the Skinning Cave. While the cave took its name from one of the basic tasks the huntresses did there I would learn that it was also the hub of escape and tribe politics for the huntresses. I wasn¡¯t allowed to eavesdrop there much as my ¡°life-ridden presence¡± disturbed them. It was also prettier than I expected to be. Swirling patches of black and green lichen decorated the cave¡¯s walls and ceiling, and the huntresses had carved dozens and dozens of statues of the goddess and different animals. They were all charcoal dyed antler and the statues watched from every reachable ledge in the cave. The smell of blood that hung the air was as I imagined it though.

    The huntresses¡¯ easy chatter and movement fell quiet at our approach. I could tell that their unease and reproach was from more than their recognition of me, healer¡¯s beads clinking with every step. This was their space and we had come without an invitation. By the time we stopped a few feet from a huntress who had been carving a spear at the mouth of the cave I had come to two conclusions. The first was that I was still in no condition to learn how to hunt or even skin a rabbit. The fifteen minute walk had left me feeling hazy and weak. I wasn¡¯t sure how long I could keep standing through sheer force of will.

    The second conclusion was about who held the most power in the cave. Two women caught my attention. There was one who everyone looked to and one who everyone actively avoided looking at. The first woman had been practicing with her sling outside the cave while a group of admirers gathered around her. She was a tall brunette who swaggered with authority. The second woman had been repairing a trap further into the cave. She had shorter, darker brown hair and her clothing looked more worn. I had never spoken to either of them, but I knew who they were. Fenris and Rawley. Levain had patched both of them up on more than one occasion.

    Grandmother surveyed the gathered huntresses before placing a hand on my shoulder. ¡°Who will guide this girl in passing her Rite?¡±

    Outraged murmurs and gestures erupted. The spear carver glared at my beads. ¡°Healers don¡¯t learn our ways, Grandmother.¡±

    Grandmother¡¯s hand tightened on my shoulder. ¡°She might still wear her beads but her mother forsook her and she isn¡¯t practicing the craft. Gimlea is no healer.¡±

    Fenris brushed her ponytail back over her shoulder and sniffed loudly. ¡°She reeks of herbs. We don¡¯t need her kind here. Her presence alone could ruin a hunt if the goddess noticed her.¡±

    Grandmother rolled her eyes. ¡°The goddess doesn¡¯t watch your every hunt, Fenris. And, like I said, she¡¯s no healer. She has the same amount of life in her as you do.¡±

    Fenris scoffed, ¡°Not as long as she wears those beads, she doesn¡¯t.¡± Various voices chimed in agreement at her statement. Bolstered by the support she added, ¡°Take her away, Grandmother, before she impedes our work further.¡±

    Grandmother shot her a quelling look. ¡°Don¡¯t forget who you¡¯re talking to. I wiped away your shit and piss when you were a babe, girl.¡±

    Fenris looked as if she had been slapped for a moment, before I could see her gearing up for a rant. ¡°I will not stand¡ª¡±

    ¡°I will guide her, Grandmother.¡±

    My gaze snapped from Fenris to where the new speaker stood at the cave¡¯s mouth. Rawley. Grandmother cocked her head in a silent question. Rawley gave a short, sharp nod in return.

    Grandmother shoved me forward in her direction. ¡°Rawley will be your mentor, girl. Go with her and return to the tent once you¡¯ve completed your tasks for the day.¡±

    Fenris glared at Rawley. ¡°You can¡¯t do that.¡±

    Rawley smiled at her. It looked sympathetic. ¡°I don¡¯t belong to your Pack.¡± Then she turned to me. ¡°Follow me.¡±

    She started making her way north along the bluffs¡¯ base. I cast one last look around at the other huntresses and saw that this was going to be the one and only chance I got. So I took it and followed her.

 Ch. 4: A Huntresss Lessons

    Rawley led me along a strip of mud and stone between the bluffs and the lake until we reached an outcropping of stone large enough to fit both of us comfortably. I was doing a poor job of hiding my legs'' shaky weakness at that point. I felt the sweep of her eyes as she glanced back and evaluated me before she took two swift steps and sat on the outcropping''s top ledge. She gestured for me to sit on the lower ledge between her feet. I hesitated, and I saw her notice that too, but she didn''t say anything. Just waited, easy and patient. Her non-reaction to my hesitation and my aching legs were enough for me to get over it and sit between her feet. I felt her pick up my messy braid of tangled and knotted warm brown hair.

    She asked, "May I?"

    I hesitated again, not sure what she was asking or why she was asking it, but then I remembered that she was my one and only chance at learning what I needed, so I nodded. She untied the thong of leather holding the braid together and began to gently and deftly pick the braid apart. I hadn''t run a comb through it since before I fell ill and the hair that had escaped the braid had clumped and tangled together into large snarls. Rawley worked quietly for a few minutes before she asked another question.

    "What do you think is the most important skill for a huntress to have?"

    It felt like one of Levain''s trick questions, the ones that sounded straight forward and easy, but that actually hid the correct answer away. And like her questions I didn''t know enough to find that answer out.

    "Hunting, killing animals to feed the tribe." An answer was always better than silence.

    Rawley clicked her tongue. "There''s more to being a huntress than killing creatures. That''s the least important thing you will learn. Patience. Listening. Preparation. Flexibility. Master them and you''ll never be bested at hunting by any huntress who could only see the virtue of speed and sling. Those four skills will take you farther than all the rest combined."

    I didn''t like how easily she had caught me in her trap, so I tried to catch her in my own by throwing her off center as she had done to me with her request to fix my hair. "Then why aren''t you the leader of the Pack? I doubt Fenris exemplifies those qualities."

    She flicked the back of my head in a light rebuke. "Who says I have mastered them? Besides, being a face of power isn''t always the most advantageous position, nor something that everyone aims for."

    I twisted around to look at her. Her words had the ring of truth in them, but my gut twisted uneasily as they contradicted the mantra I had heard for as long as I could remember. Levain had never wavered on the point that more advantages always came with the power from climbing the social and political hierarchies of the tribe and whisper women.

    Rawley held up the strands of hair tangled around her fingers and slightly raised her eyebrows. The look was both gently chiding and inquiring. I pressed my lips together and turned back around. Now wasn''t the time to push for answers about every little thing. I could learn what Rawley meant by her statement in time. Levain had always hated it when I questioned her¡ªand I was already getting the sense that Rawley could out wait me on any question she didn''t feel like answering. Even if Rawley hadn''t mastered all four of her tenets, it didn''t take much time to realize she had at least mastered the first.

    She resumed picking apart the knots in my hair but I could still feel the weight of her silent inquiry pressing in around me. Rawley wanted to know why I had suddenly turned the conversation to tribe politics and her position in it. I didn''t want to reveal my intentions. It quickly became clear that while Rawley could out wait a question, she could also wait for an answer¡ªno matter how the minutes dragged or awkward it got.

    So I went with a different truth and hoped it was enough to distract her. "I thought all huntresses wanted to become Pack Leader."

    She chuckled. "It seems that every child has that misconception, but no. It might be hard to imagine but some Pack huntress prefer to follow, and many lone huntresses took on the role because they prefer neither to lead nor follow, but be independent¡ªrather than the popular belief that they became such because they were too power-hungry and disruptive for the Pack."

    Those that only followed were weak, without initiative. It made me glad that Rawley was my mentor, rather one of the Pack. I would need to know how to survive on my own without depending on a group to make up the slack. "Were you always a lone huntress?"

    "Not in the beginning, no, but I find it suits me best." She paused and then seemed to decide it was time for another lesson. "Tell me what you see, what you hear."

    I concentrated on the scene in front of me, wanting to impress her. "There''s a group of three huntresses diving on the opposite shore from us. Their helpers are preparing the fish and lakeweed they''ve already collected. Others are drying out fire moss for the cook fires and keeping an eye on the children. There''s two hawks circling the lake. The sky is grey and cloudy. I can hear a few echoes from the Skinning Cave and the camp, but I can''t make out what they''re saying. The breeze is making a few small waves lap against the shore."

    "What else do you notice?"

    I focused on the senses she hadn''t asked about. "The air smells like fish and a bit of smoke and decay. You...smell like old leather and sweat. I can feel you untangling my hair."

    "And?"

    I struggled for other details. "It''s cold for the warm season and the rock is hard. It looks like the old man who spins wool is spinning stories as well again to the fisher folk. Grandmother just came and scolded him. One of the huntresses is swimming back to shore. It looks like she speared a couple of fish. And the camp is quieter since the herders took the sheep and reindeer out to graze."

    "Good." She paused untangling my hair long enough to lightly squeeze my shoulder. "Why do you think I asked you what you noticed?"

    It was another one of those deceptively easy questions. I held in my frustration and answered, "To test my perception."

    Rawley made a short hum of disapproval. "Not entirely¡ªbeing the most prominent inks a target on your back. You noticed the huntresses and camp first as any potential attacker would. The more details you can take in quickly, the better you can understand a situation and the best course of action to take. In a hunt that might mean you can better use your surroundings to more efficiently take down your prey or, in this case, it means you can identify what strengths or weaknesses might stand out to an attacker so that you can develop a better defense."

    I twitched at her unexpected answer, barely keeping myself from turning to look at her again. I could feel the difference in power between us and I didn''t like it. Levain had held a similar power from her superior knowledge of the things I needed to learn, though she had been more scathing in her use of it. And more direct in her lessons. Everything had been pure memorization, but with Rawley she turning things in a new direction, pressing me to think through an answer on my own. I couldn''t get the measure of her and it kept throwing me off, making me uncertain. I hated being uncertain¡ªit made me hesitate and Levain had never approved of an answer that wasn''t immediate¡ªso I tried to push Rawley off-balance again in order to gain more ground. "All the huntresses pay attention to you¡ªeven if they pretend like they don''t."

    The tactic failed utterly. She didn''t even pause in fixing my hair. "Yes, they do, and for that there is a not inconsequential target on my back. The Pack doesn''t like that I''m not afraid to question their Leader''s decisions, but nor can they completely ignore my skill and abilities, and the benefits they bring to the tribe. So, they do what they can to minimize my influence." Rawley pointed at where the water lapped at the shore a few feet in front of me. "Now, tell me how you would retrieve that speckled rock over there without being able to move from this spot and the resources currently at your disposal."

    I scowled. "I don''t have any resources."

    "Everything is a resource. Begin."

    I tried to reach the rock with my foot, but Rawley made her hum of disapproval before I even stretched more than a few inches. Next I tried to drag it toward me using my waist pouch, but the pouch''s ties weren''t long enough for it to reach the stone. I spied a stick near the outcropping and managed to use my feet to lever it up into my hands. After a quick, silent apology to the goddess I tried to use it to push the stone toward me, but the stick barely reached and I only managed to accidentally rolled the stone closer to the water. I glared at the rock and contemplated throwing the stick at it, but refrained from being childish in front of Rawley. I did try to will the rock towards me, and that proved as useless as everything else I tried, as I knew it would be.

    Eventually I gave up and Rawley asked me another simple, leading question.

    "What have you learned?"

    I spat, "That I''m not tall enough for this task."

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    She chuckled but when she spoke her voice was chiding, "Don''t waste your energy on trying to complete an impossible task." She stood, stepped around me, retrieved the rock, and placed it onto my lap. "Everything is a resource. Don''t narrow your focus so much that you turn an easy task into an impossible one."

    The morning continued like that. Lessons embedded in lessons. Rawley never even touched on the things I assumed I would be learning. There was no overview on how to use a fishing spear or skin a rabbit or how to track. Instead she gave me scenario after scenario as we sat next to the lake and had me try to solve them. I felt stupid by the end of it.

    Rawley just smiled at me and ran her fingers through my snarl free hair. "I''ll see you after the midday meal. Meet me back here."

    I nodded and vowed to myself to show her that I was worth her time by the end of the day. That I would solve whatever frustrating mind games she threw at me after the midday meal. I refused to stay with this tribe any longer than I had to.

    --

    I wasn''t gone from the outcropping by the lake long. Stares and mutters and the possibility of seeing the twins or Levain weren''t conducive to an enjoyable meal. Normally, I would have grabbed my food and disappeared into Grandmother''s tent but after being interrogated all morning I didn''t relish the possibility of Grandmother needling me with questions of her own. And my stamina still wasn''t built up enough to look for another secluded spot.

    Rawley wasn''t there when I sat back down on the outcropping, plate of fish and pluckings in hand. The slightly sour and salty flavors of the meal mixed well with the solitude. In camp there was never space for being alone, not unless Levain had to go out to treat her patients while I stayed behind and studied. Even then there still had been the sounds of people walking by and chatter. Grandmother''s tent might be preferable to eating out in the cooking yard with the rest of the tribe, but it was never completely empty either. At least at the outcropping there was no claustrophobic reminders of people unless I chose to look across the water¡ªonly the whispering breeze and the lap of the lake¡ªeven if I did have to walk around a third of the lake to get there.

    Setting my plate aside I stood and stretched. After weeks of being mostly immobile I was tired of resting. As I shifted through different stretching positions, I looked around the outcropping, but I couldn''t see anything that Rawley might ask me about next. She had questioned me about everything from the history of our tribe¡ªwhich I had barely known¡ªto which rocks I found most appealing.

    "So eager for your next lesson?"

    I snapped around to face away from the path that led back to the Skinning Cave. Rawley stood there, resting her weight on one hip, and a sling dangling from her fingers. She winked at me and tucked it back into her belt next to her stone pouch.

    "I wasn''t expecting you back so soon." Her eyes caught on my discarded plate. "Balance that plate on your head while you stretch until I get back."

    She stepped close to me to pick up the plate and I didn''t move to accommodate her. I refused to show weakness, especially after a morning of being made to feel like an idiot. A knowing look crossed her eyes and the corner of her mouth curled up, but she reached around me, picked up the plate, and put it in my hands without a word. Then she was past me and I turned to watch her, but the bluffs hid her from view as she strode easily across the shore. It was annoying to realize that I hadn''t seen her slip or hesitate once despite the slippery rocks and mud. If I waited I would be able to see her in a few minutes. But by then it would be too late to follow her with any kind of stealth.

    The plate was back on the outcropping in less than a dozen heartbeats and I slipped after her within the four after that. My body immediately protested. I had already walked far more that morning than I had in the past several weeks and a bit stretching and rest didn''t do much for my soreness. I ignored it. My legs could deal the pain and recover, or break and recover. Either way I was going to learn more about my mentor and see what she was up to.

    I wasn''t nearly as steady and smooth as her as I made my way along the shore. Speed and then stealth became the priority. I caught sight of Rawley again when she was about halfway between the outcropping and where the bluffs rounded off and continued away from the lake. I moved as quietly and low to shore as I could as I followed her. The more I did to mitigate the chance she would catch movement out of the corner of her eye and spot me the better. She only glanced back once though, when I planted one foot firmly on a loose pebble and it went skittering into a larger stone when I nearly lost my balance. Luckily, I managed to stay tucked in the little hollow in the bluff that had draw me to where the pebble was in the first place and she continued on after several breathless moments.

    Rawley kept along the bluffs when they stopped running parallel to the lake. She was going to the Skinning Cave then. Except she didn''t stay there long¡ªshe ignored the few women still doing various tasks there and was inside the cave for less than a minute before she continued on past it. I tried to skirt around the Skinning Cave, but there wasn''t much cover around it by design, except for a few trees. One huntress glanced over at me, glanced in Rawley''s direction, and then gave an annoyed shake of her head before going back to scraping a bear skin. It left little hope left that Rawley hadn''t noticed me, but I continued away. If she wasn''t going to stop me then I wasn''t going to go back to the outcropping like some scared rabbit back to its burrow.

    She led me along the bluffs for a while longer before turning left into the sparse forest. The sunlight broke through the pine trees'' canopy easily, but I kept nearly loosing track of her. Every time I had to glance down to check my footing or strayed to far back she would be gone and I would only have my gut to rely on. But then there would be some small rustle or quick movement and I would find her again. She was leading me on, helping me follow her, when she wasn''t even supposed to realize I was there. When I vowed to prove myself to her less than three hours ago. The realization sent an angry spike of indignation crackling through my chest and I felt my jaw lock mulishly in place. I made a new vow. I wasn''t going to stop until she did.

    That vow drowned out the needles of pain in my side, the bands of stone tightening with each step around my ribs, the graying, out of focus edges around my vision. I continued. I followed her past the point of stealth or speed. She didn''t give up the pretense that she didn''t know I was following her though until I stumbled over my own feet at the top of a small rise. I fell hard, the impact jarring its way though my palms and forearms, and tumbled to the bottom of the incline. I struggled to get up and keep going, but it felt like all my limbs had been replaced with wet lakeweed. Rawley stepped out of the cover of a tree and made her way down the rise to sit on my legs. I took that to mean she had stopped the game of chase and let myself lie back on the ground.

    After a moment I asked, "What are you doing?"

    She snorted. "Keeping you from doing anything else reckless and stupid."

    "You could have stopped. Made me go back."

    "I needed to see how far you were willing to go."

    I stared up at the bits of gray sky I could see through the pine needles. "When did you know?"

    She smiled, quietly amused. "Since before you sent that rock rioting off the bluffs."

    "Did you know I was going to follow you?"

    "No, but I guessed as soon as you got that defiant look in your eye when I told you to stretch with the plate. So," she rested her chin in one hand, "what did you learn?"

    I refused to meet her gaze. "Not to make a fool of myself trying to track an experienced huntress when I have no skill."

    She chuckled. "Everyone has to start somewhere. Do you know where you are?"

    "In the forest."

    "Yes, but where in the forest?"

    I stayed silent. Unwilling to waste my energy on voicing ignorance.

    Rawley gave a hum of disapproval. "Never get so lost in the hunt that you lose sight of your position and condition. There''s little point in capturing your prey only to be so lost that you can''t find your way back to camp or are too tired to make shelter and die of cold or hunger."

    Her lesson hit a little too close to home, so I changed the topic. "What were you doing?"

    She gave me a knowing look, but let the conversation shift. "Before you insisted on a game of chase?" She opened one of the bags at her belt and pulled out inking tools. "Getting things for your apprentice mark."

    "My apprentice mark?" As soon as I spoke I hated how slow and dull witted I sounded. Of course, I needed the huntress''s apprentice mark. Rawley couldn''t officially be my mentor until I received it. But I had been closed to the possibility of becoming a huntress for so long that the reality of what was happening felt surreal.

    Rawley moved and settled next to my legs, and I scrambled up to sit in front of her, unable to stomach the resemblance to Levain''s interrogation. Simply sitting up took more effort than I liked, but Rawley let me do it on my own. She pulled out the stopper on a jar of ink and set it next to the two rags draped across her knee before picking up a sharpened bone shard.

    Rawley held out her free hand. "May I have your wrist?"

    I held out my right wrist, knowing that was proper side for professional commitments, despite not having the dot on my inner wrist for her to make the apprentice mark around. She took my wrist in hand and studied it for a moment. Not hesitating, but planning. Then she pressed the bone shard into my skin and deftly rubbed the ink into it before I could even hiss at the bite of pain. I kept my focus on watching her and remaining quiet as she continued. It was odd to see the tiny cuts and blood that Rawley would occasionally dab away and know that the hands that were making the incisions weren''t Levain''s. If it wasn''t for prayer, cuts and blood had always sat squarely in the healer''s domain.

    Rawley finished making the mark when the sun started setting. It was a simple, single spear head, dark gray rather than the absolute darkness of the goddess''s markings. If my mentor had been part of the Pack it also would have been encircled, and if I passed my apprenticeship I would be allowed to adorn the spearhead with a more intricate design. Rawley would need to add a smaller spear head to her forearm as a sign that she had taken on an apprentice.

    She smiled at me as she packed away the inking tools. "I''ve never heard of a healer huntress apprentice before."

    I gave her a small quirk of a smile in return. "Neither have I."

    She pulled a clean bandage out of another pouch and handed it to me. As I wrapped it around my wrist and tie it off she said, "I''ll do my own mark tomorrow morning and get a soothing tincture from your mother. I¡ª"

    "I don''t have a mother," I cut in, barely keeping my voice from warping into a snarl.

    She considered me for a moment before nodding, "No, of course not." Rawley stood. "Your final lesson for the day then: see if you can keep up with me on the way back to camp."

    She bolted off and I scrambled after her, biting back a curse when I put weight on my newly marked wrist as I got up. My legs quickly became heavy and clumsy with fatigue again and it took all my focus to keep her in sight. I was too inexperienced and tired to notice it then, but she kept her pace just punishing enough that I could only think of the next step and staying on my feet. Looking back on it, I would thank her for that gift rather than having to experience the brooding cesspit that journey back to camp could have been.

 Ch. 5: The Seasonal Run

    I didn¡¯t go through camp to meet Rawley at the outcropping every day. Instead, I took the shorter route past the latrine and the edges of the eastern grazing pastures before I had to skirt around the lake. I know Grandmother noticed me do it, but she didn¡¯t comment on the fact that I still would have taken that route if it had been the longer one. There was no chance of seeing Levain or the twins or Father and his family if I didn¡¯t go through camp. Father wasn¡¯t to blame for being unable to take me in, but I didn¡¯t doubt that he still went to see Levain. And pretending like someone didn¡¯t exist was easier when you didn¡¯t see them, even with a lifetime of practice.

    Rawley dedicated our mornings to her mind games and lessons in patience and awareness. Afternoons were spent in games of physical ability such as chase and climbing the bluffs. I didn¡¯t get to so much as touch a sling or spear until a month in, though she did have me spend a whole afternoon in various stretching poses. She commended me for my patience that day, but the praise was soured by the fact that I had remained outwardly calm only because Levain¡¯s favorite mantra would surge to the front of my mind every time the boredom nearly pushed me into complaining or stopping.

    ¡°Ambition is nothing without discipline.¡±

    It was a plague and a guideline I couldn¡¯t break, and I hated Levain for it even as the truth of her words convinced me to follow them. I stayed disciplined through the endless repetition of practicing the basic movements of using my new sling, building the foundations of my skill with the short huntress¡¯s spear. I stayed disciplined through each morning I was made to feel like an idiot until I answered more of Rawley¡¯s lessons correctly than wrong and she called me clever. She noticed me flinch and bristle, and then she made a point of calling me it, always with a softness that grated on my ears. That I would not thank her for. I stayed disciplined through my lessons in tracking and listening and the behaviors of animals, both predators and prey. Rawley taught me what she could of plants, but there was little she covered that I hadn¡¯t already learned years ago in my first healing lessons.

    With the beginning of my third month of lessons it came time for my tribe¡¯s seasonal run to the Root Mountains in the east where we would shelter during the cold season. It would take us most of the month to reach the mountains and head into Grislander¡¯s Maw. Levain drilled the legend of the mountains into my head on one of the rare truly warm days of the year and all I wanted to do was slip outside her store to play in the lake. That wasn¡¯t allowed. Instead, I learned about Grislander, a dog made of stone and fire with paws large enough to crush our camp and the lake twenty times over. He had risen out of the earth in the early days of the Era of Night, when Heliquat had subjugated her sister, the goddess Azabel, and there was no escape from Her darkness and Her forests blanketed the land. Levain said that Grislander was born out of the people¡¯s wishes of wrath and terror to grant them a reprieve from the endless night and the goddess¡¯s all seeing eyes, but it was all for naught. He got no more than five sweeping steps, crushing the camps of those who wished him into being, as well as the goddess¡¯s trees, before Heliquat was fed up with his wanton destruction. She didn¡¯t even need to appear before him. The goddess simply willed for Her trees to grow. And grow they did. The trees grew hundreds of feet into the air, their roots sprawling out and wrapping tight around the dog¡¯s feet before growing up his legs. As they grew new trees sprung up from the roots to create a living cage. Grislander struggled. He poured out great gouts of molten rock from his mouth and crushed swathes of trees with his paws, but new trees would grow in their place and with each one the rate of their growth would increase until he couldn¡¯t keep up. The battle ended when the pine trees covering Grislander looked like dark green fur and their roots forced him to the ground and onto his side. Submissive to the goddess for eternity, unable to move. His fire has long since gone dormant and the legend goes that he is slowly being crushed back into the earth, so that now only his head and some of his neck remain, his mouth open wide in his final roar of defiance.

    Heliquat didn¡¯t forget about those that had defied Her, those had wished the monstrosity into being and been crushed by it. There is no escape from the goddess in death. She did appear for them. Stepped out of one of Her newly grown trees, pressed Her thumbs into both eyes, Her lips to theirs, and sucked away their soul, one by one. Then She breathed a bit of the night into them, turning death pale skin gray with second life. The newly made shamble men rose and waited for Her direction, still as statues, eyes and mouths black voids. When She finished She turned back to them and smiled. They were to be Her most obedient servants, Her truest children, for as long as the night lasted. Then She swept out a hand and all the people on her land felt a sliver of cold settle into their core and they knew. Knew without a shred of uncertainty what had happened to those that had defied the goddess, and that the same would happen to their dead if the bodies weren¡¯t destroyed within the number of days equal to the number of steps Grislander had taken. Heliquat was not one for second chances.

    Now the mountains made from Grislander¡¯s teeth and head were rounded and broken with age, but the forest¡¯s hold was still strong. Every inch of the mountains was covered with layer upon layer of roots, so much so that I¡¯ve never seen the color of the soil there, except in the valley between his jaws. The mountains protected us from the worst of the cold season¡¯s winds and snow and the forest was plentiful enough to sustain us and the other tribes that sheltered there, but only a few stayed in the mountains year round. I¡¯ve never thought of the mountains or valley as home, even though we spent more time there throughout the year during the longer cold season. Most of the tribe felt the same. It didn¡¯t cater well to our tribe¡¯s specialty of fishing, and we were always in too close quarters with other tribes to claim a section truly as our own.

    By the start of the seasonal run I had built up my strength so much under Rawley¡¯s direction that I had surpassed my capabilities from when I had been confined to studying in the store all day. I could keep up the brisk walk the run would require for hours. But, despite that, I wasn¡¯t allowed a full sized pack to carry. Old Lily tried to mollify me by saying that huntresses never carried as much because they had to stay light on their feet in case there was trouble, which was true, but I knew my pack was still lighter than it should have been. Grandmother shut me up with a glare and snapped comment that the size of my ego was more than enough to make up the difference. Then she sent me out to fill up the waterskins. On my way back from the lake, I had the misfortune to see Father helping Levain pack up her tent and supplies. It seemed that his wife and their children would be getting help from her brothers again this year. Social lines always broke down during the run and Levain and Father were always quick to take advantage of it. I think Mel, Father¡¯s wife, and Levain had reached some accord about it shortly after I was born. He would join our family during the two seasonal runs and the rest of the time he spent with his wife and their family and we had to pretend like the other didn¡¯t exist. The rest of camp ignored what was happening both because Father and Levain stayed discrete outside of tent walls and because Mel and Levain had built up some influence in the tribe. Mel as the top sheep herder, and thus the main supply for material for warm clothes, and Levain, because no one could deny her skill. They might not respect her because of her healing, but it was also a fact that she had treated nearly everyone in the tribe at one point or another and she had lost fewer patients than any other healer in the region. Mother had honed that fact into more influence than any healer should rightly have¡ªwhich meant she was allowed a few concessions others would never even be able to dream of, such as her lover accompanying her during the seasonal runs and her favored children getting to play with the others in the tribe. She was always controlled enough that she got what she wanted in the end.

    I slipped back to Grandmother with the filled waterskins before they saw me. She was busy directing two men who were loading up the tent onto a travois, a contraption made of two sticks tied together in a ¡®v¡¯ shape and netting lashed between them, already filled with two others. Old Lily and the other children were helping to tie down the last of the pine flour sacks onto a second travois. Our tribe didn¡¯t have many camp dogs so the men had to carry the majority of the more bulky items on travois fitted with straps and pads for their shoulders. Some of the reindeer and sheep were also fitted with the contraptions, but most of the herds weren¡¯t trained to pull them. Grandmother set me to sweeping the area to make sure there wasn¡¯t anything lying lost and forgotten in the trampled grass and dirt as soon as I set down the waterskins. I didn¡¯t find anything by the time everyone was lifting their packs onto their back and Rawley caught me paying more attention to the herders organizing the sheep and reindeer than the ground.

    She was dressed in full hunter¡¯s gear. She didn¡¯t need the cold season¡¯s reindeer fur cloak, but she did have a thick woolen tunic and pants woven of varying shades of brown and green. The tunic was held shut by four teeth clasps and her wide belt of cured hide that also served to protect her stomach. She attached various pouches, her waterskin, and her knife and sling to the ropes that held the belt in place by being wrapped around each other and the belt once, before being tied into a complex knot. Her shoes were simple with laces that crossed multiple times around her calves and tied in place with the same complex knot as her belt. Her pack was compact with a blanket secured to the bottom, and her hair was pulled into a short braid. Rawley gave my idiotic child¡¯s dress and pack a quick once over before nodding. I wouldn¡¯t be allowed a full huntress¡¯s garb, or any other adult clothing, until my first blooding.

    She gestured toward the mountains. ¡°You¡¯ll be with me. We¡¯ll be scouting ahead of the tribe with the other lone huntresses.¡± She noticed my question on my face before I could ask it. ¡°The Pack is better suited at coordinating defense of the rest of the tribe. That means we¡¯ll also be in charge of bringing in the supplemental game. You¡¯ll get your first kill this run.¡±

    I ignored the thrill of fear her words elicited and focused on the anticipation. ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡±

    She hummed a short note, not really agreeing or disagreeing. ¡°You will be.¡±

    I settled my pack onto my back as a sharp whistle cut through the air and was taken up in a wave through the other members of the tribe. It was nearly time to go. ¡°I¡¯ve hit every target you¡¯ve set for me.¡±

    Rawley started to lead me to the head of tribe¡¯s traveling column. ¡°At a short range, and you miss just as often.¡±

    ¡°You only let me start to learn the sling a month ago.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s when you were ready.¡± She held up a hand to cut off another protest. ¡°What are the huntress¡¯s most important skills?¡±

    ¡°Patience. Listening. Preparation. Flexibility.¡± Rawley had drilled the answer into my mind as well as Levain had with any of her mantras.

    She made a noise of approval. ¡°Exactly. You will get your first kill this run. Paying attention, and developing those skills, will determine how soon.¡±

    I nodded and we made our way to where the other lone huntresses had gathered in silence. Ambition and discipline. Her words were just another way of putting Levain¡¯s favorite saying. No one would benefit, least of all myself, if I let myself go and rushed my training because of annoyance and impatience. The best results came from waiting for the most opportune moment to act for each situation, just as each healing salve and tincture had an optimal mixing time and their components were gathered at certain times of the year for increased potency. I would mostly likely prove myself a fool rather than a worthy apprentice if I tried to make my first kill before I was ready. I would have to wait. I could wait.

    Rawley exchanged greetings with the other three huntresses. Only one had an apprentice. The other girl looked to be a couple of years younger than me. She was also in a child¡¯s dress, but her dirty blonde hair was pulled into twin braids and her narrow face pinched into disgust as soon as she noticed me looking at her. She turned her back on me in a deliberate dismissal, and I could only think of both Rawley and Levain¡¯s repeated lessons about protecting your back in a fight or politics until the comment Levain made after one lesson crept back in.

    ¡°Only give an enemy your back as a show of power, to show that they can¡¯t do anything even when you are vulnerable, but even then only do it once. It¡¯s better to force them to show their back than reveal yours.¡±

    I glared at the girl. She wasn¡¯t superior to or more powerful than me, not even close. Most likely we were in the same stage of our apprenticeship. I had learned far more than she ever had during my time stuck on that cushion in the store. She had probably still been caught up in the petty friendships and games of finder and pretend that the twins so loved. I held back a smug smile. I had learned a lot during those years and not all of the mixtures and plants I had been taught about had effects that were pleasant especially in certain combinations. I made a mental note to keep an eye out for feverluck and spiritflower.

    Behind me another whistle sounded; this time it started high before diving to a lower note and it was punctuated by a shorter whistle in the same low tone. Answering whistles, high and sharp, rippled through the tribe. Rawley caught my attention and I followed her as we dashed ahead across the grazing pastures. The rustle of cloth and the sound of footsteps followed us as the Gabbler Shore Tribe began its seasonal run for the mountains.

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 Ch. 6: Travelers Offering

    Nothing of note happened the rest of the day until the tribe had settled around a slow rising hill and Grandmother sent out the whistle that meant the traveler¡¯s offering ceremony was about to begin after the evening meal. Rawley heard the summons and brought me to where Grandmother and Old Lily were waiting at the top of the hill. They stood in the open area between the tents for the top three people in the tribe. On the left was the tent of the tribe¡¯s leader, Ghani. It was marked by the rough approximation of a gabbler fish as that was our tribe¡¯s symbol. In the middle was the Pack¡¯s large tent, marked with a cat¡¯s paw print, apparently so they could reach the tents on either side if things went direly wrong faster, but I always thought it because no one had the patience to bicker about tent placement with Fenris all day. She was the type to think that she gained some power by being on the highest point of the hill. The tent was used as the Pack¡¯s base of operations during travel and her living quarters throughout the whole year. It was a nice thought to think that with all the foot traffic in and out Fenris wouldn¡¯t be getting any satisfactory sleep. On the right was Grandmother¡¯s tent. She, like the Grandmothers before her, had earned her place by being selected and trained by the previous blood speaker of the tribe. Religious leader, storyteller, and ward caretaker all combined one, the position of Grandmother was the most influential of the tribe even if she didn¡¯t have any say in daily affairs.

    As I was technically still Grandmother¡¯s ward even though I was staying with Rawley throughout the course of the run, I had no choice but to line up next to the other five children in front of Grandmother¡¯s tent. We would have a prominent part to play in the ceremony.

    That was exchange: Grandmother gave shelter, food, and clothing, and we provided her with blood. It was thought that she had so much death in her that she could support the tribe¡¯s abandoned and soul bent children without becoming over imbued with life. We balanced her out so the goddess wouldn¡¯t become jealous or affronted.

    Rawley joined the other lone huntresses near the top of the hill as the rest of the tribe started to fill the hillside. I pulled out my prayer needle so that Old Lily would stop fussing and go back to her rhythm sticks, two intricately carved pale white lengths of wood. The carvings were dyed black on one stick and red on the other like the black and trim on Grandmother¡¯s clothing that indicated her status. Old Lily was Grandmother¡¯s Echo, a blood speaker¡¯s chosen handmaiden. She helped Grandmother with the ceremonies and took on most of the daily menial tasks as neither blood speakers nor Echoes could marry. Each sister seemed born for their respective roles.

    Grandmother wasn¡¯t exactly tall, but the way she stood, straight backed and expectant, was still imposing. She was still in her normal clothes and was as just as travel worn as the rest of the tribe, but there was no question that she was in command at the moment. I turned my gaze to watch the crowd with her. Ghani and Fenris sat the closest, only a few feet away from Grandmother, exchanging updates about the day¡¯s travel. The tribe leader was a short, well rounded woman with long dirty blonde hair that was braided sensibly out of the way. Fenris laughed at a joke that she made. Ghani was as quick to make a bad joke as Fenris was to suck up, so they got along well. It helped too that Ghani¡¯s aide who sat behind them and filled in a quiet word here and there, was Fenris¡¯s wife. The rest of the Pack filled the second row and behind them were the lone huntresses and the huntresses¡¯ apprentices. The next section was full of the tribe members who had the greatest mastery of their craft or had high influence in the tribe. Mel was in that section and a very select few male faces among a majority of women. The rest of the upper middle of the hill was taken up by the remaining women, all of those with some privilege but whose trades and skills weren¡¯t as highly valued by the tribe. The apprenticed children also sat in that section. The upper part of the lower half of the hill was taken up by the married men of the tribe and their younger children¡ªthere was always some jockeying based on who was married to who to decide which family got to sit closer to the ceremony. Even Father was among them, near the middle of the hill, with his and Mel¡¯s children because he couldn¡¯t abandon them to the crowd even though he kept sneaking glances over the heads of the unmarried men to where Levain sat at the very back of the crowd with the twins.

    Grandmother brought her hands together in a sharp clap and the buzz of low conversation immediately broke off. The eyes of all two hundred or so tribe members focused on her. She spread her arms wide, the marks on the inside of her wrists clearly visible to the tribe, and Old Lily began to hit her sticks together in a slow, steady beat. Grandmother waited for the third thunk of the sticks hitting together before she pitched her low, biting voice to carry over the hill.

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    ¡°The first day of our run has ended without trouble, without worry. Do you thank the goddess for Her averted gaze?¡±

    In unison, the tribe lifted their arms over their heads, wrists crossed facing outward, and said, ¡°We thank Her.¡±

    ¡°The goddess does not accept empty platitudes. What do you offer Her?¡±

    The sound of a slap rang through the air, loud and harsh, as the tribe¡¯s hands dropped to hit their knees in unison. ¡°Blood.¡±

    ¡°What do you humble travelers offer Her?¡±

    The answer and repetitive slap of hands hitting knees swelled into a chant in time with Old Lily¡¯s sticks. ¡°Blood. Blood. Blood.¡±

    Grandmother drew out a hand sized bowl made of the same pale pine wood as the rhythm sticks and shaped like the top of a pitcher from her robes with a flourish. ¡°Then She shall have blood!¡±

    A few people yelled out in fierce acknowledgment while the rest continued the chant and Old Lily began to sing. Her song was wordless, but the keening cry of it always set my teeth on edge. Grandmother turned on her heel and strode to Raya at the other end of our line.

    Raya held her left wrist over Grandmother¡¯s bowl and spoke the ritual words. ¡°I gift this blood to the goddess so that She does not have to take in the coming days. May it grant Her strength.¡±

    Then she placed her prayer needle against her skin and sliced a two inch cut down her wrist, through her mark, and didn¡¯t flinch as the blood welled and dripped into the bowl. Grandmother kept the bowl there for at least half a minute, if not longer, before moving on to the next ward in line. Raya was left to clutch her wrist while keeping the bloody scratch away from her child¡¯s dress. Bandaging the cuts wouldn¡¯t be allowed until the ceremony was complete. Gran repeated the ritual as did the next one and the next and the next, all while the crowd chanted and Old Lily sang and the beat struck, until it was my turn.

    The crowd faltered a bit when Grandmother stepped in front of me with her bloody bowl, though whether that was because of my blessed mark or my healer¡¯s lineage was up for grabs. Both were more than unusual to see in the offering line, but if I could I would have bet it was because of the latter. My life-tainted blood had a higher chance of being rejected by the goddess¡ªthough most of the tribe were probably reasoning to themselves that my blessed mark and the connection it had to goddess would balance that out it still gave them pause. But Grandmother ignored the crowd¡¯s misstep so I ignored it too and held up my skirt so that I could reach my mark. Grandmother pressed the bowl against my thigh.

    I had heard the words so many times I didn¡¯t have to think when I said them. ¡°I gift this blood to the goddess so that She does not have to take in the coming days. May it grant Her strength.¡±

    The cut burned as I dragged my prayer needle across the diamond closest to my knee. The wood of the bowl was cool and smooth, but not as cold as the evening air. It felt like an eternity passed before Grandmother removed the bowl and strode back to her place in front of the crowd. I let my skirt drop, caring less about the blood than keeping the cold air out.

    Grandmother held the bowl up and silence clamped down onto the hillside. Then she brought the bowl¡¯s spout to her lips and drank the blood in two quick swallows. When she lowered the bowl her upper lip was coated with dark crimson.

    ¡°Heliquat!¡± The majority of the tribe flinched when she called out the goddess¡¯s name. ¡°This lowly blood speaker drinks this blood in your stead. Do you accept the Gabbler Shore Tribe¡¯s offering?¡±

    The air grew thick with anxiety as the whole crowd craned to see her lips. One heartbeat, two. And then the blood on Grandmother¡¯s lip flaked away and the whole tribe breathed out a sigh of relief.

    Grandmother announced, ¡°The goddess accepts our thanks! Go, rest, and prepare for tomorrow¡¯s journey.¡±

    The tribe began to rise and break up, going back to family tents or do last minute tasks before the very last of the sunlight slipped away. Old Lily hurried into Grandmother¡¯s tent and came out again with bandages. Rawley waited until I had secured my bandage around my leg before collecting me. We would sleep within the camp at night, where it was safer, while the Pack took shifts on watch. Rawley had claimed a spot on the outskirts of the camp, only a short distance from the top of hill, but I had to hold back a hiss of pain as we walked and the movement repeatedly tugged on my cut. I would have to get used to it. A smaller ceremony would be held every night during the run to appease the goddess and hold ill happenings at bay. Only two wards would be needed to supply blood for it, but even with the rotation of that duty, I would have many more cuts by the end of the run.

 Ch. 7: Crossing River

    The next morning improved when I heard that the healer had been kept up all night by a puking, fevered child. One of the huntresses¡¯ apprentices apparently had eaten something gone foul. I kept my smile to myself when I saw the apprentice standing dazed and getting chewed out by her mentor for her lack of attention. She deserved it for thinking she was so much better than me. Spiritflower and feverluck had been simple to spot and pluck when Rawley was distracted by shooting down a couple birds with her sling.

    Camp was broken down quickly after the morning meal and Rawley and I moved ahead to scout with the other lone huntresses. The other girl hadn¡¯t recovered from her illness enough and was forced to travel with the tribe for the day. There wasn¡¯t a lot to look at as we went¡ªeven if Rawley warned that danger could be lurking in every dip of the rolling hills that spread out around us. Trees were few and far between in this area as we had left the forest and bluffs behind when we began the run. The horizon stretched all round, softened only by the ankle high grasses and late blooming wildflowers, and the dark smudge in the distance that marked our destination. There wasn¡¯t a Picker band in sight. Which was how it should be given that we were technically still in our territory. The huntresses patrolled frequently while they hunted to make sure none of the banished got close enough to harass the tribe or settled in where they didn¡¯t belong. Once we left our territory though the chances of being targeted by a Picker band rose considerably as the land between ours and the mountains remained unclaimed. We might be a large tribe, which afforded us some safety, but the Picker bands still tended to view us as an easier target because we didn¡¯t have as much practice fending them off like the runner tribes.

    Rawley kept me occupied by quizzing me about the best strategies to attack and defend in different scenarios. She had me pretend I had been left stranded with only my sling and a few stones, that I was starving, and the only animals I had found to hunt were a mother wolverine and her cubs. I came up with strategies of ambush, a hit and run, direct assault, and traps. Each time I was met with the words ¡°You¡¯re dead¡± and made to think through it again, often after a grueling set of questions, such as where I was hiding out, why I hadn¡¯t considered the weather in the my ambush when she hadn¡¯t told me it was raining, and why I was even risking my life to attack the wolverines when I could be gathering the berries and edible plants around me instead. It was frustrating and made my head ache, but I had grown to appreciate the way she made me think about every angle of a situation over the past couple months. Rawley seemed to enjoy the times when I thought of something new that she hadn¡¯t considered before, even if in the end my strategy didn¡¯t work. It was also during that thought experiment that we realized a problem so basic to me surviving on my own that it almost laughable, simply because it wasn¡¯t something either of us had ever had to consider before. It came about when Rawley was quizzing me about how I was going to eat the wolverine cub I had stolen in that scenario.

    I opened my mouth to answer, and then shut it. She waited for me to answer, patient as ever. After several long moments I licked my lower lip and asked, ¡°Rawley, how am I supposed to cook it?¡±

    She raised her eyebrows slightly. ¡°That¡¯s what I want to know.¡±

    ¡°No, what I mean is how am I supposed to cook it without fire?¡±

    She was only confused for a moment. ¡°You don¡¯t have the goddess¡¯s common blessing, of course you don¡¯t, and without it¡­¡±

    Without it, without someone with the blessing of fire, I was good as dead on my own. I would be vulnerable to the night predators, likely frozen, and without any way to cook the meat and important fat it had that would give me the energy I needed to survive. Instead, with the mark I did have, I would be plunged back into that terrible, helpless state where I could only lie down, starving, unable to die even if I wanted it so badly I could taste it like honey on my tongue.

    I tried to keep my voice steady when I asked her my next question because I already knew her answer. ¡°Do you know how to make fire? Without the blessing?¡±

    Rawley shook her head. ¡°There isn¡¯t any need for it. Even the whisper women always have one or two fire starters, to light their fires and do other mundane tasks.¡± She seemed to come to a quick decision. ¡°I won¡¯t be able to send you on any overnight trips for your training alone, but it shouldn¡¯t be too difficult to find another apprentice to join you. And when you go to the Seedling Palace you¡¯ll have the fire starter servants to make the fires for you.¡±

    I didn¡¯t respond to her, and she let me be. The knowledge that I was completely dependent on those around me to make sure I didn¡¯t sink back to the edge of death grated on something deep inside me. I was my own person, I was working toward my own goals, so why did I have to rely on someone else to meet my basic needs? I wasn¡¯t useless, wasn¡¯t incompetent. And yet, just because they had fire, the twins were more likely to survive¡ªto live¡ªon their own than me. I might not die because of my blessing, but I definitely would not call that state living. I glared at the spot where my dress covered my mark on my thigh. Of course, this was one of the few, stupid instances when the goddess catered to the idea of fairness and only gave everyone a single blessing. If those with the blessed marks really were her favorites she should have given us two: our unique ability and fire.

    I sulked until we reached the Crossing River. Then Rawley set me to preparing and checking the lines that would help us reach the other side of the river while she and the huntresses searched for the best crossing point. The lines were hidden in a hollow made by three stone slabs to protect them from the weather and pests. Even with all the training Rawley had put me through I still felt sore and tired by the time I lugged away all the smaller stones blocking the hollow¡¯s entrance and pulled all six lines into the sunlight. Each line was made up of a rope about as wide as my fist and ten times my height lashed to stone spikes the length of my arm on each end. My job was to make sure there wasn¡¯t any weak points in the rope and adjust the lines¡¯ length once the crossing point was determined. If anyone lost items to the river or got swept down stream it wasn¡¯t going to be because of me. I found two weaknesses. One of the lines had been nearly chewed through by some pest, but it was near enough to the end of the line that we could mostly likely tie off the rope before the weakness and it wouldn¡¯t matter. The other problem was more serious. I noticed it as soon as I started pulling the second to last line out. It looked like someone hadn¡¯t been careful enough when putting away the lines last year because one of the stone spikes was fractured. Another spike could be made but it would likely take a long time to find another suitable piece of stone and carve the spike. I showed it to Rawley as the leading members of the rest of the tribe caught up to us and started to settle along the bank for the midday rest.

    She frowned as she looked it over. ¡°It¡¯ll shatter the first time someone tugs a little too hard on the line, much less support the heavier loads.¡± She looked up to scan those who had arrived and nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll let Ghani know so we can see if anyone has a suitable piece of stone on hand to make a new one, but most likely we¡¯ll have to make this crossing with only five lines.¡±

    Crossing with only five lines was doable, though there would be grumbling about the delay it would cause. If anyone remembered who had put the lines away last year, that person was about to have a very bad day. After pulling out and checking the last line I got to rest while the others prepared for the crossing. The day wasn¡¯t quite warm enough for me to stick my feet in the chilly river water before I had to, but I did sit on the very edge of the bank while I ate my midday meal of flat bread and dried fish. The Crossing River¡¯s waters were clear and edged with stone. They always looked deceptively placid, but I knew the current could get strong enough to yank a woman¡¯s feet out from under them and was deep enough even at its shallowest points that I could only reach the bottom on tiptoe.

    A suitable piece of stone was found over the course of the next hour and given to Mond, who was the most skilled at shaping stone into things other than spear heads, after Ghani worked out compensation for the tribe member who was losing the valuable stone. Mond would shape the stone during the time it took for the rest of the tribe to cross the river so that the sixth line would be ready for the return trip.

    The clack of stone hitting stone pierced the air as Mond began his work and the spikes of the five remaining lines were pounded into the dirt where the river widened a little ways upstream. The current was still strong there, but it was the widest, shallowest point for miles. One of the lone huntresses, Nole, once again had the dubious honor of the first crossing. She was on the taller side and had a defined swimmer¡¯s body after years of training the tribe¡¯s children to swim and excelling at our specialty of spear fishing. She never seemed fazed as she stripped and looped the free end of her line over one shoulder and across her chest, threading the stone spike around the loops so the river couldn¡¯t easily pull the line free. She tied a pouch holding a stone to help her drive the spike into the ground around her neck; the threat of drowning or getting pulled free of the line and down river never making a dent in her confidence that she would make it to the other side.

    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    Still, the tribe held its collective breath as Nole stepped into the river and pushed off for the other side. No slide step across the slippery, stone bed of the river for her, not without a line to secure her way. She cut through the water like a fish even with the extra weight of the spike and stone and the rope dragging in the water. The river forced her into an arc as she continued underwater and we could only track her progress as the line moved and continued to be pulled into the water. She didn¡¯t come up for breath until she heaved herself onto the other bank. Nole wasn¡¯t foolish enough to crow in victory and risk drawing the goddess¡¯s attention, but she did grin and slap her chest once and many in the tribe repeated the gesture back to her as they relaxed and started to breath again. Blood would be offered later, once the tribe was across. Nole pounded her spike into the ground so that rope cut a straight line across the river, but there was still some slack, so the rope was retied on our side so that it held tight and was a good foot out of the water.

    Then it was Rawley¡¯s turn. Only one line could be set up at time to make sure the lines didn¡¯t cross and drown those tasked with setting them up. Rawley had a simpler time crossing the river than Nole though she had more to carry¡ªa water resistant sack with her and Nole¡¯s clothing, slings, and pebbles for ammunition as well as her line. She tied the sack to her stomach with her line and spike, which looked odd until she grabbed Nole¡¯s rope and hooked her knees over it so that her stomach faced the sky. The river still dragged on her and she was still mostly submerged in the water, but by climbing across the line her crossing was a lot more straight forward and less dangerous than Nole¡¯s free swim had been. Crossing in about half the time it had taken Nole, Rawley pounded her spike into the other bank while Nole dressed and kept an eye out on the surrounding hills. The river marked the edge of our territory and there had been more than one instance of ambush by Pickers as we crossed in the past. The next three lines were set up quickly, following Rawley¡¯s example, by Pack members, each one further upstream than the last. Once their lines were secure and they were clothed they set up a small perimeter, and Nole and Rawley set out to scout the different paths the tribe could take to continue our run.

    That was when the true crossing started. Four of the five lines were used to balance travoises and other large items as tribe members hung onto the lines and pushed them across. Only one piece could be pushed across a pair of lines at a time, so that too much weight or actions of two different parties didn¡¯t pull a spike free. Since we didn¡¯t have the sixth line, the last line was used for individual crossings and to carry children and smaller items across when usually that would have had to wait. Some made multiple crossings across the river, but they could only do so two or three times before the cold water and current sapped their strength and they had to dress and warm up before making another crossing, if necessary. Many of those did cross multiple times were huntresses, used to cold lake water and stronger for their daily training.

    I crossed on the fifth line as soon as I could. I couldn¡¯t get enough traction on the bottom of the river, so I followed my mentor¡¯s example and hooked my legs as well as my hands onto the rope, my pack balanced above my face on the rope and stuffed to the brim with my dress and shoes. The water was biting cold and the current dragged at me as I inched my way across. My shoulders and arms burned with the effort of pulling myself across and keeping my pack from dipping into the water by the time I was halfway to the other side. I almost lost my things at one point when I slid the pack forward and pulled too far to the right, over corrected, and fumbled the pack into the water. The current grabbed onto it immediately and I barely managed to loop my arm through one of the handles and pull it back to me with gritted teeth. I didn¡¯t try to balance the pack back on the rope, but focused instead on reaching the other bank as quickly as possible. I crossed the rest of the way without anymore mishap though the extra pull of the river on my pack dragged at me. Everything in my pack was soaked through, except for my sling that had been packed into a small very water resistant bag. The leather my pack was made out of could resist a good amount of rain, but the bag itself wasn¡¯t watertight. A few people gave me concerned looks, but didn¡¯t offer to help once they saw I was the healer¡¯s eldest daughter. The twins might have elicited more help, but the stigma of my training and close association with Levain cost me any chance of that. She hadn¡¯t wasted any of her influence on me as she had when she used it to help the twins get playmates. Instead, I found a place near one of the dung fires that been started for warmth, and laid out what I could to dry, using the berth the other tribe members gave me.

    I watched the river as I waited and saw Levain and Father help the twins across. Of course they got help when at their age I was told that I was more than old enough to make the crossing myself. I had to be strong to become a whisper woman, be able to face things alone, and Levain had her herbs to carry and Father had his hands full with the twins and his other children. She didn¡¯t seem to have any trouble going back to get her herbs now. Adley turned her nose up at me when she saw me watching and tugged Kem toward the fire furthest from me. The tribe gave them a berth too, though not as large and a few kids who had already crossed soon got the twins involved in a game of tag. Apparently, Levain wasn¡¯t being as open with their training or the twins had somehow managed to wheedle out of it. I smiled sourly at my drying things. At least one of them would have to learn eventually¡ªLevain would need an apprentice sooner rather than later. Demand for her services always increased when we reached Grislander¡¯s Maw.

    Rawley returned around three hours later as the last of tribe¡¯s things were transported across the river. The fixed sixth crossing rope took the work of two huntresses to get across, but using the other guiding lines they were able to get across without too much trouble. All that was left was the livestock. I saw Rawley confer with Nole¡ªwho had shown up a while before¡ªGhani, and Fenris as the three middle lines were taken down and stored in a second stone hollow on this side of the river. I felt the tension ratchet up in the camp as people noticed the preparations were being made for the livestock¡¯s crossing. Just as with Nole¡¯s first crossing, we were practiced and skilled enough that nothing normally went wrong, but there was still the potential for the animals to panic and the river to steal a large portion of our herds. The dung fires were snuffed out and everyone but the herders pressed back to the expanded perimeters of the Pack¡¯s watch to give the animals room when they thundered across. The sheep herders went first, whistling signals to each other and taking turns to drive their animals through the channel marked by the remaining two ropes. The herders on the first bank used their sticks and large shepherd dogs to drive the sheep toward the river and through the channel. The dogs kept the sheep going forward across the river while the sheep herder already on the far bank rounded up and calmed the sheep¡¯s panic with treats and the help of their dogs. Once the sheep were across the herders used the lines to cross the river. Most of the sheep made it though a few younger ones weren¡¯t able to fight the current and were swept down stream. A herder and huntress went after them to round up any that still managed to make it shore on their own. After that the reindeer herders drove their herds across and it went much the same.

    Everyone couldn¡¯t quite relax though until the last two lines were brought across. A different lone huntress from Rawley brought the second to last line across using the last line, and then it was Nole¡¯s turn again. She crossed back to the other bank without any trouble using the line and looped it around herself as she had before. We watched as she pushed off the bank and swam through the clear, cold river water. She started up stream again, and the current pushed her down in an arch. I narrowed my eyes, but the arc still looked smaller than it had before. She wasn¡¯t halfway across the river and already in line with the secured spike on this side of the river. The rope¡¯s slack billowed around her¡ªand caught around her arm and neck. And then she wasn¡¯t swimming, but thrashing and the staked spike wobbled. Someone screamed and a man and huntress both rushed to the line and started to pull. Nole was a thrashing weight downriver and they had to struggle to pull the rope in. Others joined in to help pull and make sure the line didn¡¯t trip anyone up, huntresses followed the trajectory of the rope and waited on the river bank, ready to pull Nole in once she was in reaching distance. Long seconds ticked by as slowly Nole was dragged closer to shore and then one of the huntresses cried out that she had her and the others scrambled to grab Nole as well. They managed to haul her halfway onto shore before pulling her completely free of the river¡¯s grasp in the next heave. Mother-Levain-strode up as they pulled the line from around her and started snapping orders. Under her direction Nole was placed on her side and after checking her breathing Levain gave her a sharp hit on her back. Nole coughed out water and rolled onto her stomach, gasping. Levain kept her from lying completely on her stomach as the spike she had been swimming with had jabbed a bloody triangle into her sternum, and no doubt she would have terrible bruising all along her chest, neck, and upper left arm. At least Levain couldn¡¯t make her walk through fish guts and infect her wound.

    The huntresses quickly backed off as Levain began to treat and bandage Nole, and those that hauled on the line busied themselves with putting it away as the rest of the tribe slowly relaxed and carefully tried not to watch the healer at her work in case the life in her rubbed off on them and drew the goddess¡¯s attention. They needn¡¯t have worried.

    Grandmother caught the tribe¡¯s attention at the bank¡¯s edge. ¡°Nole has given her blood to the goddess and the river in thanks for this easy crossing! It is time we do the same.¡± With great ceremony, she pricked one of her wrists and let the blood fall into the water. Everyone followed her example, including Levain, who didn¡¯t look thrilled to have another patient so early into the run. I waited until most of the tribe had pricked their wrists before I pricked my mark and used my prayer needle to flick the beads of blood into the river¡¯s swift current.

 Ch. 8: Picking a Fight

    From the Crossing River there were two main routes we could take to reach Grislander¡¯s Maw. The Upper Path would take us deeper into the Folds, the high rolling hills that got more bunched together the closer you went to the true foothills of the Root Mountains. The chance for both Pickers and good game increased in that region, but it was a gamble we often took as the tribe could more easily transverse along the hills¡¯ spines and the size of our tribe normally intimidated the less ambitious of the Picker bands. For any desperate Pickers we came across it wouldn¡¯t matter which route we took. After the Folds, we would skirt around the forest blanketing the foothills and Root Mountains until we reached Grislander¡¯s Maw. We had gone that way for the past two runs. The Lower Path would take us through the long, sheer, twisting ravines called Flickermark because the flicker of the stars was the only way to truly mark your way. As such, night travel was required and that made everyone more irritable for the first few nights as they adjusted to the new schedule. The chance for ambush severely declined there, but the chance for accidents rose and, while there was game to hunt and help sustain our stores, it was typically faster and harder to kill than the animals in the Folds. Once we left Flickermark, we would have to skirt around the Statue Garden, but then it was a relatively short distance to Grislander¡¯s Maw. Ghani and Fenris made the joint decision that we wouldn¡¯t risk taking the same route three times in a row, but instead travel along the Lower Path.

    We followed the Crossing River southeast for the rest of day and camped along its edge that night. The next morning turned sour when Rawley beckoned the other lone huntress apprentice over. Within a few minutes I was saddled with Fellen and informed that we would be scouting together. Nole was under strict orders from Levain to keep a close perimeter to the tribe for the day, in case her injuries acted up, and when it came to matters of healing Levain was listened to. That left Nole¡¯s contributions to scouting and hunting almost inconsequential as anything she spotted would be nearly upon the tribe and the Pack would already be aware of it, and most of the game would be scared off by the sounds of the tribe¡¯s passage, but she refused to feel useless. Rawley and the other huntresses had to make up the slack and wouldn¡¯t have time to train Nole¡¯s apprentice, Fellen, and me, so we were lumped together and told to practice our scouting skills close to the tribe.

    We pretended to ignore each other for the first hour as we followed the river bank and snuck glares at each other. She never caught me, but I caught her gaze a couple of times and narrowed my eyes at her until she looked away. There was no interesting dynamics to spy on in the tribe as it was a fuzzy mob some distance in front of us, so I found another way to occupy myself. As we walked I made notes in my mind about the different things I noticed about the other girl and how I could use those things in the future. As Rawley liked to point out, proper preparation could be the difference between success and failure. The first thing I made a mental note of was the way Fellen repeatedly touched the sling on her belt as if she had to keep reassuring herself that it hadn¡¯t fallen off. Another thing was that her glares often shifted to my healer¡¯s beads before she¡¯d deliberately focus on the river to our right, the hills to our left, or the puffy clouds and blue sky above. Her dress fit her properly and only had a few patches decorating the skirt. She wasn¡¯t very good at walking quietly, for all that we were supposed to be scouting, and when I kicked a pebble into the river to see what she¡¯d do, she jumped.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Afraid to be alone with the healer¡¯s girl?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± I smirked at her defensive answer. ¡°I just don¡¯t feel like talking to you.¡±

    ¡°Think you might hurl if you open that big mouth of yours?¡±

    ¡°Shut up! I ate something bad yesterday. I¡¯m not going to throw up.¡±

    Yes, you did, because I wanted you to. ¡°Nobody else got sick. You must have a sensitive stomach. Does your mentor have to taste test everything to make sure it doesn¡¯t upset your poor, baby stomach?¡±

    Fellen stopped walking and whirled to face me, hands clenched into fists. ¡°I¡¯m not a baby!¡±

    I flicked my gaze up and down her, once. ¡°Could¡¯ve fooled me.¡± And then I kept walking, deliberately showing her my back. I felt her eyes bore into me, before she ran up to my side, huffing and puffing indigently.

    ¡°You don¡¯t get to do that! You¡¯re just some life-ridden, shut-in healer¡¯s daughter playing at being a huntress. You¡¯re a fluke and a mistake, and everyone knows that your mother hates you!¡±

    My plan to ignore her was momentarily flung aside as I bit out, ¡°I don¡¯t have a mother.¡±

    Fellen flinched back before rallying. ¡°Because she abandoned you! My mother said that you must really be a worthless little girl if even the healer doesn¡¯t want you.¡±

    I punched her in face.

    Put all of my weight behind it, twisted around, and felt my knuckles connect with her temple. She fell to the ground, and it took all of my strength to remain somewhat disciplined, not follow her to the ground, scratching and screaming. Still, self-disgust flooded through me¡ªsickening and feverish hot¡ªas I realized how easily I had simply reacted without thought. I needed to regain control. And if Fellen was going to hate me for punching her, I might as well retaliate with something that I had decided to do to hurt her. I waited for her to look up, clutching at her face, and met her glare for glare, though hers was more hot and wet with angry tears while I could feel the cold crackling from mine. ¡°You¡¯re a worthless little huntress without your sling.¡±

    And I reached down, ripped her sling from her belt, and threw it in the river. Her scream grew in volume as the current caught the sling and pulled it under. ¡°No!¡±

    Her scream also caught the attention of the tribe, and I watched as, after a couple moments, a single blur broke off of from the rest and headed towards us. As it got closer, I saw that it was one of the Pack. I didn¡¯t bother trying to come up with an excuse, nor was I under any illusion who would bear the brunt of the blame for the incident as Fellen got up and ran toward the huntress, cheek reddening and eyes streaming.

    I could hear the other girl babbling now. ¡°She-she picked a fight for no reason, and I did my best to ignore her, but she was j-just so mean. So I defended myself and she punched me out of nowhere before throwing my sling into the river! I didn¡¯t do anything to her!¡±

    The huntress strode up to me, Fellen hiding slightly behind her while looking smug, defiant, and terrified. I clenched my hand into a fist before quickly relaxing it and Fellen dropped back. The huntress didn¡¯t miss the gesture. ¡°So it¡¯s true then?¡±

    I challenged her. ¡°Which part?¡±

    She boxed me across the ear, and it was my turn to fall to the ground, head ringing. She grabbed me by the scruff of my dress and forced me to get back up and walk in front of her before I recovered. ¡°We¡¯re going back to the tribe where your mentor can come up with a fit punishment for you when she gets back from scouting. You¡¯re lucky you aren¡¯t in the Pack, girl, or Fenris would make you carry stones until your hands bleed.¡±

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    Once we caught back up with the tribe the Pack huntress told her understanding of what had happened. I could clearly see the ripples as it spread through the tribe. Sympathetic looks and words of comfort were given to Fellen and she was quickly swallowed up by the crowd, to receive treatment from Levain and bring the healer down a peg. Not that Levain would let anything I did affect her now. Dirty looks of condemnation were shot my way and whispers of ¡°troublemaker¡± and ¡°arrogant¡± and ¡°doesn¡¯t know her place¡± buzzed through the tribe.

    The huntress kept a firm grip on my dress and promised theoretical punishments until the tribe cleared a path for Grandmother as she made her way back to us. She gave me a long look, similar to the one Levain had given me when she was deciding if I was worth saving or not, but Grandmother¡¯s look had more thoughtfulness than calculation behind it.

    ¡°She¡¯ll join me until Rawley gets back. I am her guardian, after all.¡± Grandmother commanded I walk over to her with a gesture and the huntress let me go. I followed the command and then we made our way near to the front of the traveling column.

    Even there, with only a few people to our front and sides, including Old Lily and the other wards, traveling with the tribe was stifling and uncomfortable. Claustrophobic. But any opportunity to get away was denied to me, just as it had been when I traveled Levain, Father, and the twins. Only scouts were allowed to leave the protective perimeter of the Pack and I had squandered that opportunity in only a few days.

    Useless.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t doing yourself any favors, child.¡± Grandmother gave me a sidelong disapproving look.

    ¡°I¡¯m not stupid!¡±

    Her eyebrows rose a fraction. ¡°You might not be, but your pride is. What did the other girl do that pricked it so badly?¡±

    I crossed my arms again. ¡°I don¡¯t need your pity.¡±

    She scoffed, ¡°Then don¡¯t do idiotic things that invoke it.¡± The thoughtful look came back. ¡°I didn¡¯t peg you as the fighting type, not with fists anyway.¡±

    I scowled at the ground. ¡°Words would have taken too long to get my point across.¡±

    Grandmother snorted. The conversation fell away then and the sounds of the tribe filled the air between us. Sheep baaing, the clop of the reindeers¡¯ feet, the chatter of multiple conversations, and occasional whistle as the Pack communicated with each other. Other children laughed and played as they wove around the adults¡¯ feet with the camp dogs. The wards and Old Lily seemed engrossed in a game of word association. Once again all I could do was keep my back straight, keep walking, and pretend like space between me and everyone else didn¡¯t matter one bit. I didn¡¯t even have any new training to focus on. I kept myself occupied at first by running through everything Rawley had taught me about different hunting techniques and the habits of animals and how to keep track of your location while traveling. After that, I reached back and went over the plants and their uses that Levain had taught me, the techniques used to treat different wounds and injuries, how to help pregnant women or those who didn¡¯t want to be, about poison or how to provide relief. I had just started running through the different stories and myths she had taught me, the things she thought I would need to know as a whisper woman, when Rawley returned to give her report and drop off a string of rabbits.

    The moment when Ghani gestured to me through the people separating us, informing Rawley of what had happened, and my mentor¡¯s gaze cut to me was unmistakable. Rawley nodded and clasped Ghani¡¯s arm in thanks for a moment before striding over to me and Grandmother.

    I didn¡¯t like how gentle her voice was when she spoke. ¡°I don¡¯t have time to discuss your fight with you now, but we will go over it after we make camp tonight. Grandmother, will you keep an eye on her until then?¡±

    Grandmother waved her off. ¡°Go scout. I still have my own things to discuss with her.¡±

    Rawley thanked her, nodded at me, and left the tribe to go scout the hills behind us. I waited for Grandmother to speak, but she didn¡¯t say anything. I could feel her eyes on me though as we moved forward with the tribe. Steady and blunt and considering, as if I posed a question she still hadn¡¯t figured out. I debated over trying to wait her out, but it didn¡¯t take much insight to realize that she could give Rawley a run when it came to patience. Blood speakers didn¡¯t come into their role quickly.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I know why your mother taught you the healing craft, but why do you cling to it when you know it doesn¡¯t do you any favors?¡±

    The question was an accusation that instantly put me on alert, defensive. ¡°I¡¯m not cutting off my beads.¡±

    Grandmother clicked her tongue. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t answer my question, eh, does it, child?¡±

    Tension thrummed through my back and shoulders. It was also a question I didn¡¯t know how to answer. ¡°Why do you need to know?¡±

    She looked askance at me and presented me with a threat instead of her own answer. ¡°I could bleed you every night for the ritual, give my more respectful wards a deserved break.¡± She paused, waited a beat before adding, ¡°After all, it¡¯s not like you could die from it.¡±

    I wanted to freeze, stop walking, or run away even as I hated myself for the impulse. I didn¡¯t want to be that type of person¡ªa coward. But she knew. I had thought that she might, given different barbed comments she had made over the past few months, but this time she might as well as have announced it. And it was one thing to contemplate the idea that she might know about my blessing, if it could be called that, and a whole other thing to be confronted with the fact that she did.

    Grandmother didn¡¯t give me the chance to act on any of my impulses. Instead, she gripped me by the elbow and kept me moving forward with the tribe. ¡°Of course I knew, child. Don¡¯t act so shocked. Your mother has never been the best liar, for all of her plotting and ambition, and I had no other reason to take in a non-soul bent child with surviving parents. But the life in you? That needed to be balanced out.¡± She pulled me close to whisper in my ear. ¡°Be grateful that I recognize the blasphemy and idiocy it would be to burn you.¡± Grandmother stepped away and let go of me. ¡°Don¡¯t be so proud that you deny a well meaning old woman her questions, child.¡± She caught my gaze and demanded, ¡°Why?¡±

    My mouth wouldn¡¯t work. I knew I needed to answer her, but my mouth wouldn¡¯t work. It was as if someone had shoved it full of stone dust and ice. This wasn¡¯t how the day was supposed to go. Words, I needed words. I forced my mouth open, tongue thick, not even sure what I was going to say, not sure I could say anything at all.

    ¡°Please.¡±

    A faint look of disgust crossed Grandmother¡¯s face. ¡°Not even children should stoop to pleading. Perhaps the goddess was right to give you the blessing she did.¡±

    Weak. I was being weak after I vowed to never be in such a sorry state again. That realization, more than anything, snapped me out of my panic. But I was still riding high on the nerves and confusion, the energy of the emotion. Everything felt brittle and over bright, like it had when Levain abandoned me, and another realization struck me¡ªthis was happening because I was clinging to something useless again, something from Mother. It wasn¡¯t mine, not really, not fully; wasn¡¯t something I would need to reach that place where no one could touch me. I could make due without the beads, plenty of other people did. I was holding myself back when I should have gotten rid of them when I burned everything else in the sack. I had to remember that I couldn¡¯t be me, couldn¡¯t be a healer¡¯s daughter, if I wanted to become one of the goddess¡¯s chosen.

    This whole conversation had started with the healer¡¯s beads.

    No other conversations could start like that if I didn¡¯t have them.

    I strode forward a few steps and rounded on Grandmother to block her way, staring her dead in the eyes. I gripped the braided pieces of hair that kept my healer¡¯s beads in place and ignored the familiar way they clinked together as I ripped my eating knife from its place on my belt. ¡°You want to know why I¡¯m clinging to these useless things? I¡¯m not.¡±

    Then I sawed through my hair with the knife until I held two raggedly cut braids, two healer¡¯s beads each¡ªberry red and ocre, moss green and bone white¡ªin my hand. I threw them at her and turned and ran before I saw if she caught them or not. People yelled and tried to grab me, but I dodged and didn¡¯t care anymore that I wasn¡¯t supposed to leave the traveling column.

    All I knew, all I cared about, was that I couldn¡¯t be in Grandmother¡¯s presence for one moment longer. So I ran and Rawley¡¯s lessons in dodging served me well.

 Ch. 9: Lost Legacy

    The pain and loss of what I had done hit me later. When I was crouching in a tiny valley between two hills behind a bush full of berries that faded from white to blue. Frostbite berries that I could no longer use to bring relief to their namesake or numb other wounds. Not unless I was willing to risk the threat of being burned for dabbling with healing without permission and bringing the goddess¡¯s ire. There would be no leniency. And no chance to become a healer again. To try to wear my beads again would be heresy and folly of the highest order¡ªa betrayal of the goddess whose first tenet read ¡°Honor Heliquat before all else¡± and followed quickly by the second tenet of ¡°Suffer no betrayal.¡± The goddess might allow those born to healers to continue the craft as a necessary evil, but to throw away that heritage and then try to go back to it? That would be choosing life, defying the goddess, and a good, quick way to becoming a shamble man or something worse.

    The loss hit me when I felt the new short strands of my hair brushing my forehead and realized the lack of weight or the clink of the beads. Years and years of study and effort and enduring Mother to learn about healing, something rewarding and interesting in and of itself, thrown away in an instant with only a fleeting sense of brutal logic and resentment as payoff.

    Nothing to tie me to my childhood but the seven black diamonds marking my left thigh. Nothing I had earned.

    A keening moan escaped from me even as my chest felt like it didn¡¯t have enough air to simply breathe. I stared at the frostbite berry bush, eyes wide to keep from blinking, from crying. Another moan dragged itself from deep in my belly as I started to pant. My nails pressed further and further into my palms until I felt them cut into skin, but I wouldn¡¯t cry. I refused to. Something she had taught me didn¡¯t deserve tears.

    I pictured a sack in my mind. This one looked like a frostbite berry with a wide opening so that it wouldn¡¯t miss anything I poured into it. Then I tried hooking my fingers around the pain and loss, as I had when I was abandoned, but this hurt wasn¡¯t as clear and sharp and brittle as that had been. There was still too much knowledge I wanted to hang on to, too many moments of quiet pleasure of when I got to learn about a new plant and its uses or healing mixture for the first time. So instead, I took the tears that wanted to fall and pictured pouring them in the sack. For good measure, I pictured all the future tears I might want to cry and poured those in as well. Then I tied the sack closed and pictured ice climbing up its sides until the bag was completely frozen. In my mind¡¯s eye I stared at it a moment, before willing the frozen sack to shatter.

    The hurt was still there, but the tears weren¡¯t.

    --

    A Pack huntress who had been sent after me tracked me to my hiding place sometime later. She didn¡¯t care much for minding where my nails had cut into my palms in my successful effort not to cry. She yanked me to my feet and all but dragged me back to the tribe, muttering about troublesome, idiotic children the whole way. That huntress was my keeper until Rawley returned during the evening meal.

    I did my best to maintain the defiant look I had put on ever since the huntress retrieved me when I saw my mentor. It wasn¡¯t as if I was completely unjustified for my actions just because I refused to voice my reasons. I hadn¡¯t cried when there was no one to see, so I couldn¡¯t break now. Rawley and I both ignored the Pack huntress¡¯s irritated statement of ¡°finally¡± as she got up and left.

    Rawley drew in a long breath when she stopped a few feet away and let it just as slowly, not quite a sigh but not far from it. I felt her take in the raggedly cut hair, my scabbed palms, the defiant look one word away from breaking. She didn¡¯t speak. Just got down on one knee and scooped me up into a hug in front of the whole tribe. Part of me wanted to cling to her as she smoothed a hand down my back and not let go until the pain twisting my stomach eased. But I knew better. Public affection wasn¡¯t well received in general and would go along way to making us look soft, weak. So instead I stiffened up and gripped my bowl of cheese, dried fish, and berries with too much force. She held me a moment longer¡ªmy control barely shored up by my shame¡ªbefore she pulled away with a look that promised we would revisit this later. It almost made me wish for the cold dismissal I was used to.

    Rawley glanced about the camp, noting those openly watching us, those pretending not to, and the rest who were too busy with their own business to have any spare attention to pay to ours.

    ¡°We¡¯ll talk in more detail tonight. But first, for the peepers.¡± She stood over me and crossed her arms, pitching her voice to carry. ¡°In a single morning you have hit another apprentice, ruined and disrespected a huntress¡¯s weapon, disrespected Grandmother, and caused trouble for the tribe when we need to focus on the run and potential threats. Your lack of foresight and discipline, and your cowardice, will cost you, apprentice. The girl will hit you as you hit her, and you will make her a new sling, promptly and without complaint. Grandmother has decided that three extra nights of offering will make up for your misstep, starting tonight, and for the insult your ill thought actions have given me I will make sure you think twice in the coming days. Do you understand?¡±

    Her disappointment, her tone and stance, all of it was familiar, and the ease my response came with felt sickening¡ªtinged with tiniest hint of relief at being back on that familiar ground. I let my posture sink in a bit on itself while also leaning slightly away from her. I met her eyes though, because to look down or away could be taken as inattention or the coward¡¯s way out.

    ¡°I understand.¡± Simple, reflective of her words, and stated with subordination, but not softly or broken or hesitant.

    A spark of anger flared in Rawley¡¯s eyes, but that was within expectations. I just had to wait a few more moments to learn which part had sparked it and adjust¡ªher gaze snapped past me and to my right, and I relaxed slightly when I realized that her anger wasn¡¯t pointed at me.

    Rawley motioned for me to stand. ¡°Finish your food as we walk. I have to check in with the other huntresses.¡±

    I got up and turned to look at who Rawley had glared at as she began to walk away. Levain and Father were having a meal with the twins. Father was laughing as Levain helped Adley with something. I swallowed down a painful knot in my throat and turned my back on them to follow Rawley.

    --

    I was silent as Rawley made her rounds through the camp. She stopped by the cooks¡¯ fires first and got a thick slice of toasted bread topped with cheese and honey along with a bowl of dried fish. We ate as we walked and she checked in with the other lone huntresses, Fenris, and Ghani. It turned out that I was the only excitement of the day. Fenris tried to provoke Rawley about that, but Rawley let the insult roll off her with a shrug and a bland comment that I wouldn¡¯t make the same mistakes twice. The last stop we made was for me.

    We found Fellen with Nole on the other side of camp. Neither of them looked great. Fellen¡¯s cheek had swollen and she had a black eye. Nole¡¯s clothes hid her bruises and bandages, but the way she moved was stiff and careful. They both looked up from their discussion as we approached and Fellen went from earnest to snooty in a heartbeat.

    Rawley put her hand on my shoulder when we reached them and spoke to Nole. ¡°My apprentice is here to receive her due.¡±

    Nole nodded after giving her apprentice a quick glance. ¡°I¡¯m sure Fellen said some things she shouldn¡¯t have that contributed to the situation, but violence unchecked within the tribe can¡¯t go unanswered. Nor can such blatant disrespect of a huntress¡¯s tools.¡±

    ¡°Gimlea will be making Fellen a new one under my supervision. In the meantime, I hope my spare sling will serve her well.¡±

    Nole held up a hand to stop Rawley as she moved to take the sling from one of the pouches at her side. ¡°My apprentice already has another that she will be using until her new sling is made.¡±

    Rawley nodded and pushed me forward a step. ¡°I think it¡¯s time we get the messy bit of business done then.¡±

    Nole gave Fellen a look of assent and the other girl couldn¡¯t keep the gloating off her face. I kept myself impassive, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of flinching. She squared up, drew her arm back, and threw her whole body behind the punch. It hit me in the jaw and my teeth clicked together audibly. I stumbled to the side but didn¡¯t fall like she had. I smirked at her as her face blotted red with anger, but then had to stop as the expression pulled on my cheek and intensified the pain beginning to pulse through my jaw.

    Rawley turned back to Nole. ¡°We¡¯ll be back in a few days, at most, with Fellen¡¯s new sling.¡±

    We left the pair and I could feel Fellen glaring at me as we walked away.

    --

    ¡°Go sit inside the tent and wait for me.¡± Rawley caught me opening my mouth to question her, but she didn¡¯t leave room for quibbling. ¡°Go.¡±

    I went. Even though it wasn¡¯t our normal routine of instruction as Rawley repaired a bit of gear or tinkered with a new trap design. Entering the tent was always put off until the last moment as it was a cramped, smoky smelling thing only good for keeping the rain off and the cold out. Rawley couldn¡¯t sit upright in it without hunching over and she always had to curl onto her side, so that her feet didn¡¯t stick out when she laid down to sleep, while I puzzled myself around her in order to fit. She could have gotten a bigger tent, but she brushed me off the only time I had mentioned it by saying she didn¡¯t want to bother with something that took longer to put up and had more air to warm. I set out my bedroll and sat in the very back of the tent so she would have room to enter when she came back from wherever she went.

    I didn¡¯t entertain the thought of trying to spy on her this time. I was better able to gauge my skill against hers now, and that alone was enough to keep me in my place. She would notice me trailing her within twenty heartbeats unless blind luck saved me, and even then I didn¡¯t yet have the skill to move without catching the eyes of all the tribe members still doing their business about camp. Grandmother had also been thorough with the offering earlier in the evening. My thigh still ached from the amount of times she had me use my prayer needle to keep the cut I made on my mark open and bleeding. Grandmother hadn¡¯t threatened me with my blessing again¡ªthough she did comment that she thought my hair looked prettier now without my beads.

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    For the first while, I wondered if the tent exile meant that Rawley was going to give me a more private version of the lecture she had thrown in my face in the middle of camp, and it took me a bit to pinpoint why that speculation didn¡¯t sound true. Concern. There had been concern buried behind the hard edges of her voice and eyes when she left. The back of my neck prickled with the realization. Levain had at least been predictable. No praise, no fun, no motherly care. All I needed was a showing of continuous effort and the ability to recall any scrap of information she had told me within a moment¡¯s notice. I had known when I could press her for more healing lessons or back talk. I knew when it was better to stay silent and take her rants, her disapproving looks, her comparisons of me to the twins, the dreams she had of what she had planned for me and what that would do for her. I knew the tea to make to help her calm down when she was feeling irritable and depressed. Lavender with sheep¡¯s milk. I never got any thanks for it, not when I helped her through her pregnancy with the twins when I was five or the various times I helped her hide that she was sick, but I was certain that I knew Levain better than Father or the twins ever had.

    I didn¡¯t have that certainty about Rawley. My mentor had a tendency to go about things in the way I least expected, or didn¡¯t expect at all. She still liked discipline, though for different reasons than Levain, and that was about the only thing they had in common. Rawley wanted me to think, to draw my own conclusions and insights about my surroundings and the skills needed to become a huntress. It was as if she wanted me to carve my own path rather than simply repeat what she had done. None of her lessons had a single correct answer, though there were better answers than others, and she was gentle with her corrections that guided me towards the better answers and she was nearly¡ªoverbearing with her approval. I still didn¡¯t know much about her either. Everything I learned about her was from what I observed or overheard. Rawley never gave me a straight answer the couple times I tried to learn about her past and personal life. I knew that she originally came from another tribe around the time I was born and that it caused a stir. It was common for men to change tribes to be with their new wife, or sometimes to provide labor, but women, especially huntresses, normally stayed with the tribe they were born to. Her transition to our tribe was part of the reason why the huntresses mostly left her to her own business¡ªshe was still seen a bit as an outsider¡ªbut the larger part of it was her lack of restraint when it came to goading and opposing Fenris. The other lone huntresses respected her for not bowing to the Pack even if they thought it would come back to bite her one day. Some rumors floated around that Rawley felt secure in her outspoken behavior because Fenris and her were actually lovers, but in the months I¡¯d been her apprentice I hadn¡¯t seen any hints that Rawley felt romantic towards anyone, much less Fenris. She just had a way about her that made everyone feel off-kilter.

    The tent flap was pushed open and Adley crawled inside, carrying a satchel. It took everything I had not to flinch back at the sight of my sister, so I focused my attention on the satchel instead. It looked too big for her small frame and I recognized it as the bag Levain used to carry her healing things when she had to travel to treat a patient. I braced myself as I looked at the tent entrance again, expecting the other twin to crawl through, but Kem wasn¡¯t there.

    Adley glared at me through angry tears as she sat down and shoved the bag off her shoulder. ¡°Mother made me come without him once she pointed out what would happen to Mother¡¯s reputation if a patient was left untreated.¡±

    Rawley crouched down outside the tent. ¡°Take care of Gimlea¡¯s hands and face. Her leg too while you¡¯re at it. The faster she recovers, the better.¡± She faced me. ¡°I knew you wouldn¡¯t go to your¡ªto the healer¡¯s tent, but I couldn¡¯t let you go untreated either.¡±

    ¡°I could have recovered on my own.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps, but that would have wasted time and run the risk of your injuries worsening.¡± Rawley saw that I was still going to refuse my sister¡¯s help, and cut through the last of my resistance with her next words. ¡°I need an apprentice who can use her head and her hands. If you¡¯re so set on not using either, I can escort you back to Grandmother¡¯s tent with the knowledge that you weren¡¯t worth the energy it takes to train an apprentice.¡±

    I shoved my hands, palms up, at my sister. ¡°Fine then. Heal me.¡±

    Rawley said, ¡°I¡¯ll be out here when you¡¯re done,¡± before she let the tent flap fall back into place and I heard her deliberately take several loud steps away from the tent.

    Adley smirked at me through her tears. ¡°Looks like you still haven¡¯t learned your lesson.¡±

    I smirked back at her. ¡°At least I can go across camp without turning into a crybaby because my brother isn¡¯t with me.¡±

    She dashed the tears from her cheeks and opened the satchel with more force than necessary, scowling. I hid a wince when I heard some the bottles inside clink together. Apparently, Levain hadn¡¯t yet drilled into her the importance of handling everything with care, no matter what you were feeling.

    Adley muttered, just loud enough for me to hear, ¡°At least I have a brother who wants to be with me.¡± That didn¡¯t sting as much as she thought it would, but she met my eyes for the punchline of her statement and got to see its full effect. ¡°I guess you¡¯re not worth anything because no one wants to be with you.¡±

    My jaw was starting to ache from talking, but it hurt worse as I ground my teeth together and I reopened the scabs on my palms as my fingernails dug in. Adley flinched back as I narrowed my eyes at her, picturing what she would look like if I hit her. But I didn¡¯t, because I wasn¡¯t that type of older sister. And because when our family really wanted to hurt, wanted to make the pain last, we used our words.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need people to want to be with me to be worth something. To be worth more than you¡¯ll ever be.¡± I pulled up the skirt of my dress and stabbed a finger into my mark. ¡°I¡¯m chosen by the goddess. What do you have? Mother spent the most time with me, training me, because I have potential. What do you have?¡±

    ¡°Mother abandoned you.¡±

    ¡°I guess that shows that you¡¯re less than someone she abandoned, hm? She didn¡¯t think you were worth training until I was gone.¡±

    That was clearly not an angle of the situation Adley had considered before. ¡°That¡¯s not¡ªthat¡¯s not true! She was protecting us!¡±

    ¡°Protecting you? She must have seen then that you¡¯re just a little crybaby then who couldn¡¯t handle a bit of censure or being on her own.¡± I leaned forward, so that I was right in her face. ¡°Couldn¡¯t handle being a healer¡¯s daughter.¡±

    ¡°I can handle it!¡±

    I leaned back and thrust my hands at her again. ¡°Prove it. Heal me, little sister.¡±

    Her face had gone blotchy with anger and her hands shook as she dug through the satchel and pulled out bandages and various bottles and pouches filled with tinctures and poultices and herbs. She didn¡¯t need even a third of it. I felt a little sick with twisted pleasure as I watched her. I might not feel any remorse that she and Kem had to learn the healing craft under Levain now, especially when I was certain she would be kinder to them, but I also hadn¡¯t meant to go as far as I had in belittling her. Of course, if I gave her a minute to think about what I was saying she would calm down and remember that she was definitively the favored child, not me. But I also wasn¡¯t quite ready to give up my advantage, not when Adley had thrown Levain¡¯s abandonment in my face and called me worthless.

    She reached for a bottle that I knew was filled with powdered silverbell flowers, good for preventing infections and reducing inflammation, but not what should come first.

    ¡°Wrong.¡±

    Adley stopped and started reaching for a pouch full of bark shavings from the sleeper¡¯s dream bush. As its name suggested it was best at inducing sleep and relieving pain, but I wasn¡¯t ready to go to sleep yet and there were other options that didn¡¯t have that side effect in order to relieve pain, such as the leaves of the bush, nor was it what should come first.

    ¡°Wrong.¡±

    I saw her tense up and start reaching for the bandages.

    ¡°Wrong.¡±

    She gritted her teeth and started reaching for another clay bottle.

    ¡°Wrong.¡±

    She shifted towards the other side of her selection and¡ª

    ¡°Wrong.¡±

    Another pouch. Two more bottles. All wrong.

    She was crying angry tears again by the time I took pity on her. ¡°Didn¡¯t she teach you the basics?¡± I reached out and tapped the water pouch that she hadn¡¯t touched. Mother would have already boiled the water. Then I pointed to the satchel. ¡°There should be a clean cloth in there. Always use the boiled water and a clean cloth to rinse a wound before anything else.¡±

    I shifted my hands over to where my bedroll wasn¡¯t covering the ground, and Adley followed my instructions, cleaning first the half-circles my nails had dug into my palms and then the two cuts on my thigh. She wrinkled her nose at the blood, but didn¡¯t panic at the sight of it like I thought Kem might.

    Things continued like that. I had to keep correcting her and she got more subdued with every round of it even though I could tell that she didn¡¯t like accepting direction from me. I didn¡¯t like it either. My fingers itched to snatch the bottles and pouches away from her and tend to my wounds myself. I would have been done in a fourth of the time with better results, but I couldn¡¯t.

    Not now that I had cut off my healer¡¯s beads.

    If I was caught doing healing without them, at best I would lose a hand, at worst I¡¯d be burned. The tribe wouldn¡¯t take well to the risk inherent to such an action, given that healing with healer¡¯s beads sometimes toed the line of inviting too much life and causing insult to the goddess.

    Adley kept quiet until she had placed all the pouches and bottles back into the satchel and had it slung over one shoulder. Then she met my eyes. ¡°I hope you¡¯re happy proving your skill at something you can never use. You¡¯re the one who couldn¡¯t handle being a healer¡¯s daughter and Mother said that your mark isn¡¯t anything special. That you¡¯re useless.¡± Her eyes narrowed as her mouth curled into a malicious little smile. ¡°Maybe you should think about what happens to those who don¡¯t make it through the Seedling Palace. Those who don¡¯t become whisper women.¡±

    She turned and left the tent. I didn¡¯t go after her. There wasn¡¯t anything left to say. I curled up on my side and ignored Rawley when she entered the tent a while later. I didn¡¯t let myself dwell on Adley¡¯s words, because, really, only one thing had changed. I had one more person to prove wrong, one more reason to become one of the goddess¡¯s favorites. Someday I would return, stepping out of a tree¡¯s shadow, lips black, back straight and strong, and it would be their turn to have no choice but to listen. They would realize they were the ones who could never measure up, the worthless ones in the goddess¡¯s eyes. I would stand before them all, and the twins and the tribe would be sick with shame for ignoring me and treating me as if I was a bit of bad meat always on the verge of ruining their meal. But I wouldn¡¯t be paying any attention to them. Levain would be on her knees before me, looking up with¡­with jealousy and respect and fear, and she would praise me and I would tell her that her praise was meaningless now that I had the goddess. Her face would fall as she realized that she no longer had any power over me and I would flick my eyes over her before spitting out that single word and turning my back on her once and for all.

    Useless.

    And then it would my mother¡¯s turn to crumble and cower.

 Ch. 10: Storm

    The next day tasted of rain. We could see the clouds building up and gradually darken the horizon to the west as the breeze became a nuisance and brought the storm closer to us. We wouldn¡¯t be able to outrun it, not with the weight of the tribe¡¯s supplies and gear, even when there was care taken to keep it to the bare minimum. The herds and young children also slowed us down.

    But at least on the grassland we could still move. Once we reached Flickermark a storm would stop us in our tracks as the ravines flooded and we hid out in the upper caves. So we continued along the Crossing River¡¯s bank as it took the tribe southeast in the hope that when the storm did hit we would be on its edge.

    Rawley and I spent most of the morning scouting a couple miles ahead of the tribe with the river far off to our right. There wasn¡¯t much to hunt as everything seemed to bed down to prepare for the storm, so Rawley spent the time questioning me about the best ways to weather out a storm and other natural occurrences in various scenarios. She didn¡¯t mention the day before, so I didn¡¯t either. There had been an impulse early that morning to stay silent and keep ignoring her, but I knew better than to expect an apology, given how rare they were, and doing so wouldn¡¯t have accomplished anything. Not when I did it at least.

    Rawley used silence quite effectively once we had been finished with the questioning exercise for awhile and were quietly observing the land around us for any movement. I got lulled by it. The hour or so of silence was similar to the times when Rawley had me sit by the riverbank or in the hills or up in a tree in the forest with the instructions to be as still as possible and tell her everything I noticed when she returned. Then she would leave, sometime for an hour, but often longer, and there would be no one around. No judgments, no expectations but to absorb. Similar to the times Levain left her store to treat a patient or collect ingredients and I was left to go through her stores or concentrate on memorization. Focusing so throughly on the land around us during that hour I could push aside the uncertainty and hurt Rawley had caused by hugging me and pushing my sister and healing on me without warning so soon after I had thrown my beads away. I could ignore the brush of hair on my forehead and the accompanying ache in my chest. All I had to do was focus on the storm gradually coming closer, the rustle and cold brush of the wind, the glitter of the river in distance, the rise and fall of the grassy hills around us.

    ¡°Hold out your hand.¡±

    My mentor¡¯s voice slipped into the silence, soft but still commanding. I listened, thinking it was the start to a new lesson. Instead, my mentor pulled an object from a pouch and dropped it into my hand. Berry red, ocre, moss green, bone white beads all braided together with strands of tan leather.

    My healer¡¯s beads.

    I dropped them and backed away, but unable to take my eyes off them. ¡°I can¡¯t have those.¡±

    Rawley gently picked them back up. ¡°They belong to you.¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°I¡¯m not a healer¡¯s apprentice anymore.¡±

    ¡°I know you can¡¯t wear them.¡± She held them out to me again. ¡°But I don¡¯t think you¡¯re quite done with them either, clever girl.¡±

    I took another step back, bristling at being called clever, as one part of me wanted to clasp the beads to my chest and another was tempted to chuck them into the hills. ¡°I can¡¯t heal. I don¡¯t want them.¡±

    She gave me a piercing, long look before nodding and tucking the beads back into her pouch. ¡°I¡¯ll keep them until you are ready then.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t need them.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps.¡± Rawley started walking. ¡°But I¡¯ll keep them all the same.¡±

    --

    It was near the middle of the day when we began to make our way closer to the river so that we would be less likely to lose our way when the storm hit. We didn¡¯t make our way back to the tribe though. With the river joining them wouldn¡¯t increase our chances of staying together and Rawley thought it was smart to have eyes out front as early as possible once we left the storm.

    Watching a storm come closer to envelope us was always somewhat surreal. Gray, roiling clouds swept towards us, bringing with them a hazy curtain of rain as the wind picked up further. Flashes of lightning arced and lit up the underbelly of the clouds. As the storm got closer more and more of the echoing clap of thunder reached us. I settled my pack under my wool cloak as the scent and taste of rain increased, the air growing heavy with anticipation as I pulled my hood up.

    ¡°Stay close to me. If the river starts to flood we¡¯ll have to move away quickly.¡±

    I followed Rawley¡¯s instructions though I had to walk behind her in order to keep her in sight since my hood blocked my vision on either side. I had never liked the sense of confinement that created but it was necessary for the hood to be deep in order for it to effectively block out the rain and wind.

    I couldn¡¯t see the storm in the last few breathes it took to hit. But I heard it. The rain was roaring hiss, loud enough that I couldn¡¯t hear the swish of my cloak or the rush of the river. I heard when the storm hit the river though. A thousand pebbles hitting the water, over and over in the time it took to blink. A thousand plops and splashes accenting the roar of rain and wind and a deafening boom as a flash of lightning and thunder rolled near simultaneously.

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    The storm felt like a physical blow when it hit. I stumbled as the rain pressed down onto my head and shoulders, and then slipped as the ground became slick. I caught myself on my knee and without thinking placed my hand on my left thigh as I pushed myself up. The cuts on my mark flared in protest but I gritted my teeth and stood anyway. Already, Rawley was just a hazy blur in the rain that I hurried to catch up to.

    My world narrowed to three things: keeping track of my mentor¡¯s back, staying on my feet, and water. It felt like I was breathing it in even with my hood and I could feel my cloak gradually growing heavier as the rain seeped in and weighed it down. I couldn¡¯t see anything but Rawley¡¯s back, my feet, and water¡ªrain pouring down and being blown around me, the vague outline of the river to my right, the drenched, slippery water laden ground. Even with my cloak, cold bursts of wind would slip under the hem and freeze my skin, nor did it take long for the bottom of my dress to stick to my legs with kicked up mud and water. My shoes were water resistant, but after a few hours in the heavy rain they, and my cloak, were starting to have difficulty keeping the water out.

    A severe thunderstorm like this didn¡¯t happen often. And when we did get caught in one it was typically closer to the mountains. Otherwise, when we got rain it tended to be lighter rain showers near the beginning of the warm season. Some people liked to say it was because the goddess didn¡¯t like the damage more severe storms could do to Her trees, so she stopped most of the storms from becoming too strong while others speculated that She created the stronger storms to remind us of Her power like how She turned the sky to night during the procession.

    Many of the legends showed that the later was true for snowstorms at least. Helindra took after the goddess and was naturally colder than Her sister¡¯s territory, Azaldra, but the first snowstorm always came at the goddess¡¯s hand to mark the beginning of the cold season. No one went to watch Her perform that feat, though. To do so was to invite being frozen in a snowdrift rather than protected in a meeting place like Grislander¡¯s Maw. Also, it was said that the goddess used a line of shamble men to wish the storm into being, stretching across Her territory, and no one wanted to take the chance of getting caught in their midst. Getting touched by a shambler marked you to become one as well when you died, robbing you of the chance of ever going to the Silver Forest, a place of respite and plenty among the stars that the goddess reserved for those who served and honored her well. Shamble men didn¡¯t have a soul so they were destined for the Ever Dark with the betrayers and those who killed for the sake of killing, if they ever got a second death.

    Rawley reached back and yanked me to the side. I blinked at her as she continued to pull me away from the river before I looked down and realized that I was sloshing through more water than I should be. Flooding. The river was flooding. I spared a thought to hope that the tribe had moved to a safe distance away from the river as I quickened my pace to keep up with Rawley¡¯s longer strides. We climbed the nearest hill before pausing as Rawley surveyed what she could see of the land around us. I wanted to help, but all I could do was pant. I might have been stronger than I was before, but I was used to having a smaller pack, even if the one I currently had was on the lighter side, with the tribe¡¯s slower pace and bodies to block the wind and rain. Fighting for every step was draining me, and now we had flooding as well as the storm to contend with.

    Lightning lit up the area around us and Rawley tried to shout something at me after the thunderclap that followed while pointing, but I couldn¡¯t make out what she said though the rain and wind, and the area she was pointing at looked like nothing more than shadowy curtains of water. The second time she pressed her cheek to mine and I heard her as she shouted again.

    ¡°We can¡¯t keep going! Should find shelter over there!¡±

    I nodded back at her, and we began to follow the crest of the hill for as long as we could before switching over to another one. We always stayed on the highest part of the hills that we could, but there were more than a few times where we had to go to the low ground to reach the next hill. At first that meant we had to press through the growing floodwaters, Rawley gripping my arm to keep me from slipping, but later we were far enough away the water hadn¡¯t reached there yet.

    Shelter turned out to be relative. I had been hoping against the knowledge that we were surrounded by grassland for a cave or a large outcropping of rock, or a large stand of trees thick enough to have kept the rain from soaking the ground. Instead what we got was a ten foot or so tall pine tree that creaked ominously in the wind. There was no room or hope of setting up Rawley¡¯s tent, so we had to settle for squeezing in among the tree¡¯s bottom branches on its leeward side. And then we could only sit, only marginally more protected from the wind and rain, bracing ourselves against the worst of the tree¡¯s swaying, without the options to sleep or talk or find better shelter.

    Or at least I didn¡¯t have any of those options. At point I looked over to see that Rawley had wedged herself into a secure position and dozed off. I gaped at her, but she only shifted slightly when the next roll of thunder rumbled the air around us. Then I realized I had lost control of myself and forced myself to settle back and watch the storm rage around us through the branches. I only gave her a swift glance every few minutes.

    By the time the storm completely passed us I was stiff and sore with bloodshot eyes that didn¡¯t want to stay open. It was also well into the night. Rawley had stirred awake some hours before and tried to tell me to sleep through the motions, but I hadn¡¯t been able to manage it except in fits and starts that only happened because my eyelids decided they didn¡¯t have the strength to open until the next thunderclap or groaning of the tree. Rawley noted my condition and came to a decision.

    ¡°We¡¯ll have to go back to the tribe. There¡¯s little point in scouting ahead when they¡¯ve likely settled down for the night and you can¡¯t keep your eyes open.¡±

    Shame struck me and I suppressed a yawn to declare, ¡°I can keep going.¡±

    She reached through the branches and flicked me lightly on the forehead. ¡°Bluffing won¡¯t help you or me in this scenario. I can follow the stars now, and I got some rest, so it shouldn¡¯t be too difficult to find the tribe and carry you back.¡±

    ¡°I can walk!¡±

    There was her knowing look. ¡°You can barely sit upright.¡± She stood and slipped out of the tree¡¯s branches before looking back at me. ¡°I can carry you, or you can stay here and fend for yourself until the tribe catches up. Which do you prefer?¡±

    We both knew that the second choice wasn¡¯t really an option. Her lesson the last time I got too tired to stand was at the forefront of my mind, and if I chose to stay I would be a failure of an apprentice, an idiot, and a fool that was likely to die of the wet and cold.

    I stood, using the branches as support, legs shaking, and joined her outside of the tree¡¯s branches. She handed me her cloak before repositioning her pack to hang in front of her. I couldn¡¯t quite look at her as I hooked my arms around her neck and she hoisted me up onto her back like an extra pack. I settled and tied her cloak around us both and she set off. It didn¡¯t take long before the warmth of her body heat and the rhythm of her step lulled me to sleep.

 Ch. 11: The Search

    Rawley woke me up shortly before we reached the tribe as dawn started to brighten the sky. They had set up camp on three hills that rose a little bit higher than the rest in the vicinity and were well outside the floodwater¡¯s reach. The two large hills were given to the herds while the last held the majority of the tribe in a makeshift camp. It teemed with activity and noise. No hands were spared in the effort of checking for damaged supplies, repairs, setting things out to dry, and retrieving any lost animals or tribe members, dead or alive. It even looked like only two thirds of the Pack were keeping a perimeter. My heart sank. The only reason they wouldn¡¯t be there, other than that they got swept away in the flood, was because enough people were missing that Ghani didn¡¯t think there were enough lone huntresses to find them all quickly.

    I got down off of Rawley¡¯s back, still sore but now able to keep my eyes open, and we entered the makeshift camp together. After get directions to Ghani¡¯s whereabouts, my mentor made right for her. As tribe leader she would have the best information about the tribe¡¯s condition and where we could be the most help. We found her directing a man on how to properly bind the cracked pole of a travois. Her normal grin had shrunk into a tight, forced smile and I noticed that she kept glancing up to scan everything that was going on around her, pausing with more intensity when she looked through the gaps between people and objects and into the hills around us. Levain had once remarked that Ghani wasn¡¯t fit to be tribe leader because you could tell easily how well the tribe was doing based on the size of her smile. I didn¡¯t particularly like Ghani but I thought that, despite her easiness to read, she had to be doing something right if only one person had seen fit to challenge her for her position in the last nine years. Which might have to do with many tribe members appreciating the stability her attention to detail brought.

    During one of her scans, Ghani noted us and gestured for us to come closer a few minutes later when she finished micromanaging the man.

    ¡°Good! I¡¯m glad to see the goddess didn¡¯t turn her eye too harshly on you, Rawley! We¡¯ll need your tracking skills sooner rather than later.¡±

    Rawley asked, ¡°How many lost?¡±

    Ghani ticked off on her fingers. ¡°Landra and Reece of the Pack. Tenne and her young one, Yalin, were also swept away. Mel¡¯s boy with a handful of her sheep. One of the young reindeer helpers and few beasts. Old Spinner.¡±

    ¡°Do you know when they were lost?¡±

    Ghani gestured vaguely upstream. ¡°We aren¡¯t certain for all of them. Most of the tribe was away from the river with half the Pack in between it and us to keep track of our location. Landra and Reece got caught in the flooding when it started, and we think Tenne got pulled in when she tried to save Yalin after she tripped. The storm spooked the herds badly and while most of the herders were able to keep them under control, we think for the boys they either got separated in the storm or the flooding caught them. Old Spinner wasn¡¯t here when we did the count, but none of the Pack remember him leaving their perimeter.¡± Ghani snorted. ¡°Frankly, I¡¯m surprised the two of you weren¡¯t swept away as well. All the other lone huntresses came back before the storm hit.¡±

    With how bad visibility had been I wasn¡¯t surprised the Pack hadn¡¯t seen the old man disappear. Likely, he hadn¡¯t been able to keep up in the storm and slipped between the huntresses as the tribe pressed on.

    Rawley said, ¡°I had thought that having eyes in the front quickly would be beneficial once we left the storm behind, but the storm was more in the goddess¡¯s eye than expected.¡± Rawley gestured to take in the work being done all around them. ¡°And how long until the rest of the tribe is ready to continue?¡±

    Ghani had enough restraint not to sigh, but she came close to it. ¡°For repairs and a bit of rest? About four hours. But everything else? The search alone could go all day if we don¡¯t find all the tribe members quickly and there¡¯s bound to be some dead unless the goddess didn¡¯t watch to the end. You know how Grandmother is about the ceremonies. Those could easily take another four hours. I¡¯ll be surprised if we¡¯re able to make up any of the ground we lost today.¡±

    ¡°I assume you¡¯ll want me to start searching as soon as possible then?¡±

    Ghani¡¯s smile brightened slightly. ¡°You always catch on fast. The men are cooking pluckings wrapped in flat bread. Grab some before you go.¡± Her gaze fell on me and her smile dimmed again. ¡°Will your troublemaker be able to go with you? She looks like one light blow would knock her off her feet.¡±

    Rawley glanced down at me. ¡°She¡¯s tougher than she looks.¡±

    Ghani shrugged. ¡°Less likely to cause trouble out there than here in camp I suppose. Don¡¯t let her slow you down though. The sooner we find those missing the fewer ceremonies we have to perform, and I prefer living followers to dead ones.¡±

    Rawley nodded. ¡°Of course, tribe leader.¡±

    Ghani dismissed us after telling us to head upstream. We went and got our meal, eating the steaming meat, vegetables, and bread as we left the camp. Rawley stopped me a few yards away from the edge of camp after she ate the last bite of her food.

    ¡°If you can¡¯t keep up, I¡¯ll need you to go back to camp on your own. Tracking might be a slow process, but I don¡¯t want you risking another injury by pushing yourself too far. Do you understand?¡±

    There was no way I was going back to Grandmother¡¯s tent yet, no matter how stiff my body felt. ¡°I understand.¡±

    Many of the huntresses had already been sent downstream to look for those who had been caught by the flooding¡ªRawley had apparently seen them as she carried me back to camp¡ªso we were being sent to look for the ones who might have been separated by the storm itself. Namely, Mel and my father¡¯s son, Jess, the other boy, and Old Spinner as well as any sheep or reindeer we could find. I kept myself out of the way at the bottom of the hill full of sheep as Rawley went to go find out if Mel had any more information about when her son went missing.

    It was odd to think that I was going to go rescue him. I¡¯d never really had contact with Father¡¯s other family. Levain went to Mel¡¯s tent to treat them or Father when they got sick. Not even the twins got to play with the three other children. But now that Levain had cast me out, it seemed I wasn¡¯t as strictly beholden to the agreement for the families to ignore each other or Ghani wouldn¡¯t have sent Rawley and I upstream. I would just have to do my best not to catch Mel¡¯s eye if Rawley and I did manage to find Jess, in case she still reacted badly to my presence.

    I actually wished we had been sent after the tribe members who had been caught by the flooding. I¡¯d never really wanted to interact with Father¡¯s other family, anyway. They had never factored into my life, other than placing restrictions on when we could see Father and, even if he hadn¡¯t been married to Mel, he wouldn¡¯t have been able to marry Levain. There was too much life in that.

    Rawley collected me a short while later and we began to make our way upstream, skirting around muddy puddles and keeping an eye out for any tracks or signs of passage that hadn¡¯t been washed away in the rain. As we went Rawley let me know that Mel wasn¡¯t sure when her son had gotten separated, she had been too focused on controlling the sheep in her own vicinity, but one of the other herders said that they thought saw a boy holding onto a panicked sheep as it tried to flee the storm. Unfortunately, there wasn¡¯t much of a track to follow after the storm. While we could see large trampled sections of mud and grass the tribe had made, the rain had washed many of the signs of lighter travel away. The tribe¡¯s trail became more difficult to follow the further we got away from the makeshift camp largely because the storm had longer to work at making it disappear.

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    So instead after an hour or so of following the river we left it and started to head deeper into the hills. It was slow going as we looked for anything that might count as shelter. At first glance there wasn¡¯t a lot to hid behind or under in the grassy landscape, but some hills were positioned well to block the wind and others had valleys or outcroppings that you couldn¡¯t see unless you looked from the right angle. We also had to check behind any bushes that came into view. My body was more than ready for me to sit down and rest after the first couple hours, but I didn¡¯t turn back. I had made it through the storm, I was stronger than that.

    At one point we saw one of the Pack huntresses in the distance with a camp dog. One of the benefits of joining the Pack was learning how to train and command the dogs to track and hunt. It could be helpful in times like this when there wasn¡¯t much to follow other than a scent trail, though it was dubious if that had even made it through the storm. It did look like the dog was a trail. Rawley made it clear that she acknowledged using the dogs for that reason, but that she much rather use her own eyes and ears.

    It turned out that the dog was on a true trail because a while later a long sharp whistle cut through the air. Rawley whistled back to let the other huntress know we were answering the call to gather before she picked up the pace and we jogged to where to the whistle had come from. We found the Pack huntress standing in a small valley between hills with three sheep munching on grass and the dog standing on point away from them. Now that we were closer I recognized her as Yolay, a tall, slim woman with long dark hair who was known for her ability to quickly train and calm the camp dogs. Levain and I had treated her for several bites from some of the more temperamental and stubborn dogs.

    She spoke to Rawley while gesturing to the dog and sheep. ¡°Bluebell has picked up another trail from here and it would be easier to follow it without sheep in tow. I noticed you have your apprentice with you. Would you trust her to bring the sheep back to camp?¡±

    I didn¡¯t like being treated as if I wasn¡¯t there in the same breath she was planning on using me, but I knew better than to interrupt.

    Rawley gave her a calm smile. ¡°That¡¯s fine by me. I was about to send her back to check on what progress has been made anyway.¡± Rawley let her smile stretch a little wider before continuing, ¡°I¡¯m glad you recognize that she can help our work rather than hinder it.¡±

    Yolay froze for a moment as Rawley¡¯s words recalled Fenris¡¯s complaint when Grandmother had first brought me to the huntresses. Then the Pack huntress attempted to smooth over her reaction with a calm smile of her own. ¡°As Grandmother said, the healer forsook her and she no longer wears her beads. She no longer carries the extra taint that might hinder us.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡± Rawley nodded to me. ¡°Take the sheep back to camp and learn if anyone has been found. If you¡¯re quick I should still be in this area of the hills when you come back. Whistle for me.¡±

    I ignored Yolay in favor of the pride swelling my chest. Rawley trusted to me cross the hills on my own, both with the sheep and on the way back. Granted, it was difficult to get lost with the river and no Pickers had been spotted in the vicinity. She trusted that I would be able to find her.

    Herding the sheep back to camp wasn¡¯t as simple as all the herders made it look. Once I got them going, getting them moving wasn¡¯t difficult, as they basically did their best to keep a short distance between us. The trouble was that they kept trying to weave away further into the hills or too close to the still flooded river and, with how sore my body still felt, my patience quickly ran thin. I took to practicing with my sling, flinging small stones I found in the grass to either side of the sheep whenever they threatened to go off course. My aim still wasn¡¯t nearly as good as Rawley¡¯s but my stones generally landed within three hand spans of where I wanted them to go, so I didn¡¯t have to worry about accidentally hitting the sheep.

    The sheep were branded with Mel¡¯s mark, but instead of risking an awkward conversation with her I convinced one of the sheep hands I was too busy to deal with the sheep any longer. Luckily, he didn¡¯t seem to recognize me without my beads and he promised to let Mel know that three of her herd were returned. I didn¡¯t have the same luck when learning about if anyone had been found in the past few hours. Without Rawley, I couldn¡¯t go up to Ghani to ask her and none of the other huntresses or tribe members would give me the time of day. So, I was forced to make my way to where Grandmother¡¯s tent had been set up.

    I didn¡¯t want to see her. At all. Not after she taunted and threatened me into cutting off my healer¡¯s beads, not after she bled me excessively for the Traveler¡¯s Offering the day before yesterday.

    Old Lilly and the other wards were outside the tent, drying supplies and clothing. She smiled and bustled over when she saw me. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re well, child! We were worried when you and Rawley didn¡¯t come back before the storm.¡±

    Grandmother¡¯s voice cut in before I had the chance to respond. ¡°Send her in, sister. I need to have words with her.¡±

    Old Lilly gestured to the tent. ¡°Go right on in, and if you need anything after, just let me know.¡±

    I held in a sigh and, gritting my teeth, stepped into the tent. Grandmother was sitting on a brown cushion carefully examining her personal collection of inking tools. Her bone shard was intricately carved. The carvings created what looked like swirls of smoke, dyed yellow near the sharp tip that faded into red and then black toward the other end. I stood just in front of the tent flaps, ready to duck out at a moment¡¯s notice.

    ¡°You think there was a death then?¡±

    Grandmother snorted. ¡°I know it. More than two, judging by how keenly the goddess had her eye on us during that storm.¡± She set down the bone shard. ¡°You missed your offering last night. I¡¯ll have you make up for it now.¡±

    She turned to pick up the offering bowl that sat on her other side and beckoned me closer. I listened and lifted up my skirt after pulling out my prayer needle, hating how easy it was to obey.

    Grandmother¡¯s eyes bore into me as she pushed the bowl against my thigh. ¡°Thank the goddess for allowing you to live despite not fulfilling your obligations.¡±

    I ran the prayer needle in a long bloody scratch across my mark and said the ritual words. ¡°I gift this blood to the Goddess so that She does not have to take in the coming days. May it grant Her strength.¡± Grandmother pushed the bowl harder against my thigh and for a second I panicked¡ªthere weren¡¯t any other ritual words that came after that¡ªbefore I collected myself and met her gaze for gaze. ¡°I thank the goddess for averting Her gaze and gifting me with the power to always see a storm through, not matter who else might buckle to it.¡±

    Grandmother¡¯s smile turned a bit feral as she praised me, ¡°Clever girl.¡± She chuckled as I flinched back before raising the bowl in the air. ¡°This lowly blood speaker drinks this blood in your stead. Do you accept this girl¡¯s offering and her thanks?¡±

    Grandmother tipped the bowl back and drank the blood inside with one swallow. The blood coating her lip stayed there long enough that I began to worry I had gone too far in my last statement, but a few moments later it flaked away and disappeared into thin air. Grandmother set the bowl down and turned back to me.

    ¡°Now then, why did you come here when you clearly didn¡¯t want to?¡±

    ¡°I needed to know if anyone has been found yet.¡±

    ¡°The huntresses washed downstream have made their way back with the bodies of Tenne and Yalin. It seems the girl drowned and a rock bashed her mother¡¯s head in. All that¡¯s left are the boys and that spinning fool.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for that information.¡± I turned to leave the tent.

    Grandmother¡¯s voice stopped me from taking more than one step. ¡°Where do you think you¡¯re going?¡±

    I pointed upstream. ¡°Rawley wanted me to report who¡¯s still missing.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Her tone brooked no argument. She pointed to a bed roll in the corner of the tent I hadn¡¯t paid attention to. ¡°I¡¯ll need you to offer blood at least three more times today and you look near dead on your feet. I can¡¯t have you fainting on me. You¡¯ll sleep until it¡¯s time for the ceremonies, and I¡¯ll send a runner to inform your mentor of the situation.¡±

    I tried to argue anyway. ¡°I¡ª¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    And that was that. I laid down on the bed roll. Old Lily was called in to wrap a new bandage around my thigh before going back out to send a huntress to inform Rawley of the situation. Because even though every hand was busy and Grandmother wasn¡¯t supposed to just be able order huntresses about, she had the power to get what she wanted¡ªespecially with death ceremonies looming and reminding everyone of her importance.

 Ch. 12: Mourning Ritual

    The majority of the morning passed in fits and starts as I faded in and out sleep, unable to fully relax in Grandmother¡¯s presence and the familiar sensation of being trapped in a tent under a keen gaze. That changed when the tent flap was pushed back and a woman stepped in. It took me a few moments to place her. Voni, the older sister of Tenne and one of the lower ranking Pack huntresses. She was on the bulkier side with normally focused eyes and a ponytail of fine dark hair pulled so tight that I was surprised she didn¡¯t have a constant headache from the strain. Levain and I had helped her with the birth of her second son and she had come to the store once to treat a hacking cough, but she never asked for help with headaches. Her eyes and hair weren¡¯t so severe now. Voni barely glanced in my direction before blearily wandering from Grandmother to her tools and back again.

    Grandmother had shifted so that she fully faced the tent entrance with her tools spread out on a small rug. The rug was woven with a wide open eye in its center with a border of deep blue and yellow stars around it. I had to sit up and shift to see Grandmother¡¯s bone shard in the top left corner, the offering bowl in the top right opposite of it, a shallow bowl with a small amount of yellow powder in the bottom left corner, and a folded piece of cloth in the last. A pine branch, no bigger than a child¡¯s hand, was the only thing placed directly on the eye. Grandmother had also lined her own eyes with yellow and a streak of it ran down her nose and over her chin.

    This was one of the private ceremonies before it was time to call the whisper women and light the funeral pyres then. I sat still, hating that I didn¡¯t know what to do. By their very nature these ceremonies were between the closest kin of the dead and Grandmother¡ªI had no place to ogle the proceedings. But it also didn¡¯t seem appropriate for me to disturb them both by getting up and passing both of them to leave the tent. I was in the middle of deciding whether I should lie back down and pretend to be asleep when Grandmother swept a hand towards me.

    ¡°Do you wish for the bless marked one to leave or stay, mourner?¡±

    Voni couldn¡¯t seem to draw her attention away from the yellow powder and her hand brushed her side when she spoke, ¡°Whatever the goddess wills.¡±

    Grandmother gestured to the cushion opposite her. ¡°Then sit.¡±

    Voni knelt on the cushion.

    I swallowed and did my best to blend in with the background, fervently wishing Grandmother had sent me out of the tent before Voni arrived instead of framing things so that I had to stay. I might not have participated in a Mourner¡¯s Ritual before but that did not mean I should watching one now. Grandmother wanted me here but I couldn¡¯t think of why. I had no stake in this ceremony.

    Grandmother let her hands rest back on her knees. ¡°Why do you come to me?¡±

    Voni bowed her head. ¡°I mourn and wish to remember.¡±

    ¡°Who do you mourn?¡±

    ¡°My sister. My niece.¡±

    ¡°Why do you mourn them?¡± Grandmother¡¯s questions were cold and unyielding, Voni¡¯s answers brittle.

    ¡°They were lost to yesterday¡¯s storm.¡±

    Grandmother nodded. ¡°The goddess watched and found them worthy of rest.¡±

    Voni swallowed audibly and asked, ¡°Do they go to the Ever Dark or the Silver Forest?¡±

    Grandmother slipped her prayer needle from her belt and pricked her forehead before pricking both of her wrists. She closed her eyes and spoke, ¡°This lowly blood speaker seeks knowledge. Will Tenne and Yalin of the Gabbler Shore Tribe find shelter in the shelter in the Silver Forest?¡±

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    After a few moments the blood trickling down her forehead and wrists blackened and flaked away. Grandmother met Voni¡¯s gaze. ¡°As long as they both complete the Last Offering their souls will ascend to the Silver Forest.¡±

    Voni visibly relaxed and bowed her head again. ¡°I thank you and the goddess for this knowledge.¡±

    ¡°What do you offer in return?¡±

    Voni held out her wrists over the offering bowl. ¡°Blood.¡±

    Grandmother ran her prayer needle over the other woman¡¯s wrists. Voni only had to let a few drops of blood from each wrist fall into the bowl before Grandmother tipped it back and drank them.

    ¡°Heliquat, do you accept this offering I drink in your stead?¡±

    The blood on her lips blackened and flaked away.

    Grandmother held out the bowl again. ¡°I will need more blood for the marks.¡±

    Voni pulled out her own prayer needle and gave her more blood. Grandmother reopened her own wrists as well and let her blood mingle with the other woman¡¯s in the offering bowl. Then she sprinkled the yellow dust on top of the blood.

    Grandmother set the offering bowl in the eye¡¯s center on the rug with the pine branch resting on the bowl.

    Grandmother tipped her face up. ¡°I ask one last boon to help this mourner remember those that passed before and hold your aspect close. Please grant me the power to give her a mark that will not fade to time or weather, that this mourner may remember always and never stray from you.¡±

    The eye on the rug seemed to blink and in that instant the shadow cast by the twig seemed to curl around the bowl and Grandmother hissed as the dots on her wrists snapped open into wide unblinking eyes. In the next instant the twig was gone and the offering bowl held a golden yellow ink rather than blood and dust.

    A chill ran down my spine.

    Ink wasn¡¯t rare, but it did take long hours to harvest it from cloud fish and then refine it into something lasting and usable. The ink was always black or gray as well, never the color of mourning. Some of the terror of watching the goddess¡¯s procession pass by scrambled in my chest at seeing the minor miracle.

    Voni untied her belt and set it carefully down next to her before lifting up her shirt to expose her ribs on the left side¡ªa place easy to keep private and view when she wanted to remember. She already had four yellow flames inked there to remember those she had lost. Grandmother put her prayer needle away and picked up her bone shard to begin the first new flame. From there the process was much like when Rawley had done my apprentice mark.

    It only took Grandmother a quarter of an hour to do each small flame and when she finished she did something else new. She snapped her fingers and, instead of a yellow-orange flame, a red flame appeared on her finger. She brought it close to Voni¡¯s side, even as the woman tensed, and the spark of fire got absorbed into the first flame mark she inked. The mark shimmered red before returning to the bright golden yellow. Grandmother repeated the fire process and then the eye markings on the insides of her wrists snapped back into the normal dots.

    Grandmother addressed Voni as she lowered her shirt and tied her belt back into place. ¡°The goddess¡¯s fire will numb the pain and keep impurities from entering the new markings as they heal so that you may continue to do your work and honor the goddess. Do so and in time you will join those who already rest in the Silver Forest.¡±

    Voni crossed her arms, wrists facing out, resolute. ¡°I will remember.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Grandmother smoothly gestured to the tent flap. ¡°Then go.¡±

    After Voni left Old Lily bustled in and set about cleaning and getting Grandmother¡¯s tools back in order so that she would be ready for the next Mourner¡¯s Ritual. Grandmother shifted to me.

    ¡°So, what did you learn?¡±

    I stared at her for a long moment, not sure what to say, before I remembered that an answer was always better than silence. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t watch a private ritual.¡±

    Grandmother snorted. ¡°Not without permission.¡± She raised her eyebrows. ¡°Anything else?¡±

    ¡°The goddess can do more than I ever realized.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d be a fool not to know that.¡± Grandmother¡¯s gaze cut into me. ¡°It was a reminder, child. You might be blessed by the goddess, but what She can grant She can just as easily take away.¡±

    ¡°I know that.¡±

    Her smile wasn¡¯t kind. ¡°You will in time.¡± She waved away what I was going to say next. ¡°Go join the others outside the tent. Another mourner will be here soon and if once wasn¡¯t enough, watching more times won¡¯t make a difference.¡±

 Ch. 13: Funeral Pyres

    I passed the time outside Grandmother¡¯s tent by working on Fellen¡¯s new sling. I knew that I was supposed to making it under Rawley¡¯s supervision, but it was already coming close to the deadline we had given and there most likely wouldn¡¯t a better time to work on it for a while. Not with the funerals that would likely take up the rest of the day and the need to make up the distance we lost as we traveled for the next few days. Rawley could check the sling when she got back and that would have to be good enough.

    It took me longer than it should have to make the sling. I measured all the strips of leather at least three times before I cut them down to the correct size and I kept fiddling with my braiding of the cords to make sure there weren¡¯t any odd lumps or turned strip of leather. If I was going to make something it was going to look and work perfectly, even if it was going to Fellen of all people. Levain had encouraged that attention to detail at every step of learning the healer¡¯s craft. After all, if you mixed a majority of the herbs and ingredients we used¡ªshe used with incorrect amounts it could render the whole recipe impotent or worsen what you had been trying to fix.

    To annoy Fellen every time she used the sling, I carved the first character of my name in into the sling¡¯s pouch. All in all what should have taken around a half an hour to make at the longest took me nearly triple the time. My hands ached by the end of it, the cuts in my palms complaining at the constant movement, but the look on Fellen¡¯s face when she took the sling would be worth it.

    Whistles sounded that the midday meal was ready but I didn¡¯t trudge toward the cooking fires with the other wards. Experience had taught me it was best to wait a while until the crowd thinned to go get food. People had never thought well of a healer¡¯s daughter trying to get the freshest, well cooked food. Going right away was a good way to be humiliated by being told by one of the male cooks to go to the end of the line with no choice but to listen. Or being ignored and treated like a ghost while others got their plates filled all around me.

    Old Lily paused as she walked by me to follow the wards. ¡°Are you alright, child?¡±

    I held the sling out with a slight smile. ¡°Just concentrating.¡±

    She nodded, her eyebrows still furrowed a bit with worry. ¡°It looks beautiful. You¡¯ll let me know if you ever need help with anything?¡±

    I softened my smile with a bit of gratitude. ¡°I will.¡±

    She smiled back. ¡°Good. Make sure you eat something before all the food is gone.¡±

    ¡°I will.¡±

    Old Lily left then and I let out a breath of relief. It hadn¡¯t taken me long to figure out that pretending to open up to her was the best way to keep her distant, but playing the part still made my skin itch. Kindness wasn¡¯t nearly as clear cut as I¡¯d like it to be, and I hated the feeling of not knowing what I was supposed to do, how to respond. Keeping to myself and focusing on learning were preferable. Easier.

    Rawley found me on the edge of the community area around the cooking fires eating the midday meal. She let me know that she and Yolay had found the two missing boys. Bluebell had sniffed out Mel¡¯s son with a couple more errant sheep in a natural niche in the side of a hill that was hidden behind a bush. A short distance away Rawley had picked up a trail of reindeer tracks and found the other herd boy and two reindeer in a similar niche. Apparently, the way water ran down and around the hills a few miles away made the small pockets common there. Both boys and beasts had been returned to their parents and herds alive and well. Old Spinner had also been found by another lone huntress, but he wasn¡¯t in the best condition. He was found sprawled out on the edge of the flood waters down stream with a thready pulse and bad fever. The huntress had to carry him back because he didn¡¯t wake up when she shook him. It didn¡¯t seem like he would last long despite Levain¡¯s ministrations. I knew that I should feel bad for the old man and his family, but the more vindictive part of me was focused on the blow Levain would take from failing to save him. It would be proof that she wasn¡¯t infallible.

    And perhaps some part of her would wish that she still had her assistant that she had trained for nearly a decade rather than two useless crybabies who knew nothing.

    I forced that thought out my head as the lack of weight from the healer¡¯s beads reminded me that Levain couldn¡¯t take me back even if she wanted to¡ªeven if I wanted her to. Which I didn¡¯t. Instead, I showed Rawley the sling I made and she looked it over with a critical eye before leading me to the edge of camp and testing it out. It was a bit on the short side for her, even for a short distance sling, but no stones fell from the pouch and each stone hit its target. I was sent to collect the stones and when I returned them my mentor gave me her feedback.

    ¡°It¡¯s good make and strong. You did a good job of braiding the leather evenly and tight. The cords shouldn¡¯t break on her until after a few years of hard use and the pouch is well formed.¡± Rawley tapped a finger next to my initial. ¡°But what is this?¡±

    My answer came out a little defensive and I chided myself silently for it. ¡°A marker¡¯s mark.¡±

    She flicked my forehead in light rebuke and clicked her tongue. ¡°There¡¯s no need for such things. Let¡¯s try not to antagonize her further, hm? There¡¯s no reason to show off that you know your characters when most of us don¡¯t. I¡¯ll wait while you turn your ¡®maker¡¯s mark¡¯ into a pine branch.¡±

    The pine branch turned out a bit awkward, but recognizable. My mark on the sling went from a taunt to a small blessing and there wasn¡¯t much I could about it under Rawley¡¯s calm, observant gaze. She checked my work when I finished and nodded.

    ¡°Good. We¡¯ll deliver this to them tomorrow.¡±

    She delivered me back to Grandmother¡¯s tent and left to go check in with Ghani again and help where she could. The news that Old Spinner had passed away came a short while later. That left Grandmother with another round of Mourning Rituals before she could call the whisper women and the funerals could start. I bided the time by trying to think of different things I could pass off my blessing as. Granted, the goddess would know what my blessing really was just by looking at me, but it was likely the whisper women wouldn¡¯t have that same ability. I could always say that I hadn''t learned what my blessing was yet, but I had a nagging feeling that they would test me to figure out what it was then, and that wouldn¡¯t put me in a favorable light to become one of the goddess¡¯s chosen. I needed something that would help me climb the ranks but that was also simple or vague enough that I could pull off having it as a blessing. Having the knowledge of the blessing I did have spread wouldn¡¯t do me any favors, and given the way the last two times it had come up had gone I didn¡¯t relish experiencing a third.

    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    I toyed with the ideas of pretending to have a blessed memory or resilience or sling throwing, but for every idea I come up with at least five different ways it could go wrong, be discovered I was lying, or not help me get to my goal. By the time Grandmother was ready to make her way to where the bodies were laid out, I wasn¡¯t any further than where I started.

    Grandmother stepped out of her tent in full ceremonial wear and everyone in eyesight froze. Her gray hair was pulled back in intricate braids that were held up by bone pine branch pins that had green veins painted over them. Her pitch black robe swirled into yellows and oranges on the sleeves and bottom hem like a roaring pyre against the night sky. To further add to that image little white bone beads where stitched into the black fabric like the stars caught in the goddess¡¯s hair. A crimson under robe peeked out from the outer robe as a reminder of blood spilled and prayers owed. More face markings had been added and earrings with multiple red beads like drops of blood hung from from her ears. She carried a pine branch as long as my arm in front of her chest.

    Grandmother walked forward, slow and methodical, Old Lily shadowing her to her right. As the other wards and I fell in step behind her, other tribe members falling in step behind us, Grandmother began to tell the story of the creation of the Silver Forest and the Ever Dark and the virtues and vices that sent you to one or the other.

    ¡°When those of us chosen by the goddess were still few in number and newly come to Heliquat¡¯s hand, we were not yet accustomed to Her domain and power, and died quick. Our dead cluttered Her lands and the goddess was quick to realize that She could not grant immortality to all like She had to Her Beloved. First, She sought to lengthen our lives and in Her mercy granted us fire.¡±

    Old Lily hit her rhythm sticks together with a sharp crack and as one all those in the procession lifted their arms above their head so that their wrists crossed and the dot on the inside of the left wrist could be seen on all but my own.

    We all called out the response Grandmother¡¯s words demanded, ¡°May it light our path so that we can better see the shadows!¡±

    Grandmother continued, ¡°But the dead still had nowhere to go. Our spirits wandered and wrecked havoc in their search for release. But the ground was too frozen and hard to bury them beneath the earth, we were too new and unskilled to hew stone and cover them above. So the goddess, in Her great wisdom, looked to our small dung and moss fires, to the smoke trailing into the sky above, unused and untouched. She looked to her sacred trees and thought of wild fires.¡±

    ¡°May Her sight be always be clear!¡±

    ¡°So, the goddess gave us one last mercy and rent Her domain in three! The ground remained as it was, a place for us to live and carry out Her will, but She split the sky in two. Each star became a tree and together they formed a vast forest of plenty. A place for those who carried out Her will and lived their lives honoring Her to rest and rejoice! The Silver Forest. The second place was hidden beyond the light of the stars, only visible through a small hole during the moon¡¯s absence. The Ever Dark. A place for those who strayed from the goddess and violated Her ways.¡±

    ¡°May all those who wander there remain lost!¡±

    Grandmother stopped in front of the three bodies laid out on a patch of flat, dry ground. ¡°Thus, the dead no longer troubled this realm until the folly of the unnamed who rose Grislander. But that is a story for another time. For now, let us thank the goddess for Her mercy!¡±

    ¡°We thank Her!¡±

    Prayer needles were pulled and blood flicked onto the ground as Old Lily hit her sticks together for the last time during that sequence. The tribe fanned out around the bodies half oval as Grandmother stepped around them and laid the pine tree branch down so that it created the largest possible shadow. The other wards and I followed her so that we formed a line next to her like we had during the Traveler¡¯s Offering ceremony. Old Lily handed Grandmother the offering bowl and one by one we repeated the offering until she had enough blood to drink.

    ¡°I gift this blood to the goddess so that She does not have to take in the coming days. May it grant Her strength.¡±

    The tribe was silent and expectant as Grandmother tipped the bowl back and drank, blood staining her upper lip. This time, however, she also pricked her wrists and her palms, holding her arms out in front of her, before speaking. ¡°This blood speaker asks the goddess to speak to her Scales and send us three trees for the final fire so that our dead may forever rest.¡±

    The blood flaked away and long minutes passed. Then, from the shadow of the pine branch the tip of a tree trunk appeared, covered in a Carver¡¯s Maze, clasped in two pale hands. Arms followed and a head wreathed in smooth dark hair and lips of the darkest black. The whisper woman put a knee up as her torso emerged and pushed upwards like she was stepping out of a deep pool. The rest of the carved tree trunk and another whisper woman with light brown skin and short brown hair followed her. They were elegant and beautiful and the whole tribe barely dared to breath as they set the first carved tree at Old Spinner¡¯s head before disappearing back into the branch¡¯s shadow.

    They carried two more carved trunks from the shadow and did a complicated series of gestures to open all three trees. The inside was like the smooth inside of a fresh water oyster.

    They turned to Grandmother, who crossed her arms and bowed her head. She said, ¡°We thank you.¡±

    The first whisper woman bowed back to her, not as deeply. ¡°May the Scales balance well in their favor. You do your duties well, Grandmother.¡±

    Grandmother repeated, ¡°I thank you.¡±

    The whisper women disappeared back into the shadow and this time as they went we all pricked our marks and cast the blood after them in blessing. Grandmother and Old Lily then carefully lifted up each body and placed them inside the carved tree trunks. Then they watched over them as tribe members came up and placed different items inside for the dead to take with them on their journey. A favorite blanket, a bit of food, a ball of thread. After a long minute when no one else approached, Grandmother went to each body, said something too quiet to make out, and closed the lid of their tree, locking them within the Carver¡¯s Maze with a thunk of something locking into place.

    Then fire moss and twigs were placed on each to create small funeral pyres. Grandmother bled us three more times, once for each of the dead, and spilled the blood over each trunk¡¯s Carver¡¯s Maze as a final offering to the dead and thanks to the goddess for allowing us to use her trees.

    Grandmother had the three closest women to each of the dead come forward. Voni stepped forward for her sister and though her gaze looked a little hollow, she still had enough presence of mind not to cry outside of tent walls.

    Grandmother gave the final words of the ceremony. ¡°May the goddess and those that went before welcome them well into the Silver Forest.¡±

    Three snaps sounded and the moss on Old Spinner¡¯s and Yalin¡¯s pyres began to smolder. Voni was a Candle, so she had to walk forward to start the first flame on her sister¡¯s pyre. Three more snaps followed as Grandmother cast her own spark onto each of the pyres. Old Lily followed, walking to each one and placing her fire in a spot far from where the current flames were licking.

    The tribe followed suit and the evening air was filled with the sound of snapping while I could only watch the flames burn higher and higher. I ignored the little ache of feeling¡­out of place, as the tribe repeatedly displayed the ability to do something so simple. It didn¡¯t take long for the flames to begin to roar and crackle. The tribe seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief as the fire continued to burn and the threat of the dead rising again as shamble men eased.

    I was among the first to drift back to the camp, but I wasn¡¯t able to sleep until Rawley collected me from Grandmother¡¯s tent and led me to where she had set up her own on the edge of camp.

    All she said to me before we went to sleep was, ¡°You did well.¡±

 Ch. 14: Honesty

    I gave Fellen her new sling before the tribe set off the next morning. She covered her surprise at seeing the pine branch carved into the leather by remarking that I should work on my artistic talent, and I controlled myself enough that I didn¡¯t say any of the retorts or insults that came to mind. Instead, I smirked and thanked her for being willing to use and look at the sling I made¡ªbad artwork and all¡ªevery day. Rawley and Nole separated us before Fellen did more than try to set me on fire with her furious gaze.

    As we left the other pair Rawley asked quietly, ¡°Why do you hate her so much?¡±

    I thought about lying before I realized there wouldn¡¯t be much benefit to it. ¡°She turned her back on me.¡± Rawley waited for me to elaborate, expectant but not judging. That was enough for me to continue. ¡°It was a deliberate dismissal. She''s probably only a couple years older than the twins and she acted as if I was less than sheep dung. That nothing I did could touch her.¡±

    ¡°So you proved her wrong,¡± Rawley held up a hand as I started to agree with her and continued, ¡°but did you stop to think that doing so would hurt you more than her?¡±

    My mouth tasted like I had chewed boiled asper root. Acidic and bitter. ¡°No one knew the first time! But then she just kept sneaking glares and acting as if she got blessed by the High Priestess herself, and the fact that I had gotten back at her without anyone knowing wasn¡¯t good enough anymore. She at least needed to know.¡±

    Rawley frowned slightly at my admission, but she didn¡¯t get distracted by it. ¡°So you punched her and threw her sling into the river.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± I shook my head. ¡°I was only going to needle her a bit. But then she called me a mistake and that I was a worthless little girl because not even the healer wanted me. My fist moved on its own and I threw her stupid sling into the river to regain control.¡±

    Rawley placed a solid hand on my shoulder to stop me and turned me towards her before she echoed, ¡°You threw her sling into the river to regain control?¡±

    I didn¡¯t flinch away from her gaze. ¡°If she was going to hate me it was going to be because of something I decided to do.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡± Rawley¡¯s whole demeanor softened and that¡¯s when I found myself looking at the patch of brown-green grass between my feet. She kept her hand on my shoulder, but this time used it to turn me and propel me forward. ¡°We still have a bit of time before the departure whistle will be given. Let¡¯s talk in the tent.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to. I didn¡¯t know what to expect. A part of me had feared and hoped Rawley would wash her hands of me as soon as I admitted to losing control of myself. That would be familiar and, besides, lack of control wasn¡¯t a good quality to have in a huntress. But she didn¡¯t even bite into me with her words, just kept me walking. I glanced over at her a few times as we went but what I saw didn¡¯t make sense. Anger would be pinching at her eyes and the corners of her mouth, but then she would catch me looking and everything would soften with¡­with sadness, concern laced with pity, and a hint of¡­pride. The silence between us gave my head too much room to spin and speculate on what was happening, why she would act that way, why she was only bringing up what happened with Fellen now. I nearly broke it a few times. But there was nothing that I wanted to say or ask that could be said in the open air.

    I entered the tent first and took up the same position I had when she ambushed me with my sister. Rawley came in next, blocking the entrance, and sat leaning forward with her elbows resting on her knees. Even with that posture the tent ceiling barely cleared the top of her head. I flicked my gaze back down to my hands and kept it there.

    I heard Rawley draw in a long breath and start to speak before immediately cutting herself off. I flinched at the hesitation. I couldn¡¯t remember once, since I became her apprentice, that Rawley had ever acted with less than quiet self-assurance.

    I felt, more than saw, when she held out a hand and asked, ¡°May I?¡±

    Memories bubbled up of the first time she had asked me to let her fix my hair. The burning desire for her approval, the fear that she would find me wanting, and comfort as each deft movement of her fingers untangled my hair. The sense of calm and warmth the few other times she had done it during a quiet evening by the lake after a practice session had ran long.

    I pulled my gaze up from my hands and gestured to where she was sitting, careful to keep my gaze steady. ¡°If I can sit there.¡±

    She gave me the smallest of smiles. ¡°Of course.¡±

    It was cramped and awkward to switch positions, but we managed it. After Rawley settled in her new position at the back of the tent she considered something before gesturing to her lap. ¡°It¡¯ll make this easier.¡±

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    Instead I slipped off my backpack and used it as a pillow. She chuckled as she untied the leather thong keeping my braid together. ¡°That works too.¡± Rawley ran her fingers through my hair, finding the tangles and a few lose hairs before continuing, ¡°I was going to ask you about this before, but then I wanted to give you some space after what happened with Grandmother and your sister. A fight with another apprentice didn¡¯t rank as high in the list of concerns, though I see now I should have talked with you about a few things I noticed sooner. Perhaps then you wouldn¡¯t have felt the need so strongly to punish the other girl and other events could have been mitigated.¡±

    I kept quiet as Rawley paused to further gather her thoughts. It was clear that she didn¡¯t expect a response yet, and I didn¡¯t want to ruin the moment and lose the chance to learn what she was going to say.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve realized, but I didn¡¯t take you on as my first apprentice as an act of kindness. I owe Grandmother a rather large debt, and this helped repay it. That said, I don¡¯t take my responsibilities lightly, no matter your background. I didn¡¯t have the right or position to say anything before I took you on, but I¡¯ve never approved of her treatment of you. You deserved more as her dependent and as one of the bless marked.¡± I felt her force her clenched hands back into smooth, even movements. ¡°You¡¯ve been a good apprentice, clever girl. You¡¯re observant, and you learn fast. Sometimes it seems as if you recall every word I¡¯ve ever said. You never complain, though I¡¯ve noticed that you like to test the boundaries of things.¡± Rawley clicked her tongue. ¡°But too much of a good thing can become a detriment. Your strength of will is incredible, but often you still let it push you to exhaustion when it would have been smarter to pull back or take a break. Your pride often pushes you in the same direction and I can count on zero fingers the number of times you asked for help despite that first lesson with the stick and all the ones following it.¡±

    I made a mental note to ask Rawley for help at some point in the future, despite the idea of needing to rely on someone else wrenching something deep inside my gut. Embarrassment flared on my cheeks as Rawley continued to criticize me.

    ¡°It seems¡­the healer ingrained in you a need for perfection and control in everything you do. Not terrible things to practice within their own right, within reason, but they leave little room for flexibility and I have yet to see you try your hand at anything without single minded focus. Blind to everything else as you focus on perfecting your skill. You don¡¯t relax. You don¡¯t open up, not even behind tent walls. Perhaps it¡¯s because you don¡¯t trust me yet, but do you know that I¡¯ve never seen you smile?¡±

    Her words were like a trap slowly closing around me, and the more she spoke the more the trap¡¯s sharp teeth dug into my flesh. No matter which way I turned more of the trap¡¯s teeth would catch me and I would bleed. I wanted to make her proud, to open up and trust her fully, but if I did it would be giving her the supplies and directions to make many more traps, ones that would hurt a lot more and leave me¡­vulnerable. But if I didn¡¯t do as she clearly wanted, she would be disappointed¡ªI would be a failure¡ªand I would be proving her point about my weaknesses.

    ¡°There¡¯s a difference between repression and control. I think your temper gets out of hand because you haven¡¯t yet learned the difference between the two.¡± Rawley leaned forward so that I could see her smile down at me. ¡°If you want to learn I¡¯m here.¡± I felt her smooth out the last hair knot and start to braid a small section of hair. ¡°But if you aren¡¯t ready yet I can wait.¡±

    I didn¡¯t reply until she finished braiding three more braids and pulling them all into one main plait. I needed time to think, not that it did much good with the trap snapped fully closed around me. I needed a way to give her what she wanted without really letting her in. I couldn¡¯t afford to shut her out completely, even if it was only a matter of time before she did that to me, so I had to do something to manage the pain she would inflict.

    I wanted what she offered.

    I craved a way to control my temper. To stop my fists from acting without my permission.

    I needed any edge I could get to make sure I made it through the Seedling Palace.

    But relying on someone else again outside of the predefined roles of apprentice and mentor, ward and Grandmother?

    Trusting that someone truly wanted to help me without an ulterior motive when my own family couldn¡¯t be bothered?

    Everything was so much simpler when all that was expected of me was memorization and practice. What I needed to do was simple and clear then.

    I sat up and faced Rawley after she finished tying my hair in place. In that moment only one path promised the least amount of pain. ¡°I need time.¡±

    All I could do was delay.

    Rawley nodded, her eyes full of so much understanding that it hurt. ¡°I¡¯ll wait.¡± She paused, before adding, ¡°Gimlea?¡±

    I waited and she spoke a moment later.

    ¡°You¡¯re not worthless. You might have more life in you than is helpful, but you can temper that and it should fade with time now that you aren¡¯t practicing the healing craft.¡± She picked up my pack and placed it in my numb hands. She chuckled and attempted to lighten the mood while keeping the import of what she was saying, ¡°No one I took on as an apprentice or that Grandmother looks out for could be worthless.¡±

    Not for the first time during the conversation, I didn¡¯t know what to say as once again one part of wanted to believe her while another part could only flashback to each time the words ¡°worthless¡± and ¡°useless¡± had been flung at me. She didn¡¯t expect me to reply. Instead, she ushered me out of the tent and I slipped my pack on and helped her dismantle the tent out of habit.

    The tribe started the day¡¯s run soon after that and Rawley kept me busy with practicing my sling and thought experiments for the rest of day as we followed the river. The next day was the first we turned away from the river, and everyone walked a bit quicker than normal as we pushed toward Flickermark, still keen to make up lost time. It was late afternoon on the second day of leaving the Crossing River behind when we finally reached the maze¡¯s entrance.

 Ch. 15: Entering Flickermark

    When the goddess created Flickermark as the second trial for Her Beloved, before she earned that name, Heliquat meant for it to inspire fear and awe. It can never be said that the goddess was remiss in Her work.

    From horizon to horizon it looked as if the ground had been shaken flat and then cracked like a broken jar. The ravines spider-webbed every which way. In some places they interconnected and created a dozen different short passages, and in other places the ravines might draw close but not connect for a half a mile or more. The narrow passageways never went in a straight line for than a hundred feet and often looped back on themselves to some degree. Nor did the ground always stay at the same level; sometimes it rose so that if three or four people stood on each other¡¯s shoulders the top one could touch the lip of the ravine while other times it dove so far down it felt as if we had descended from a mountain. There was no direct route through, and each passageway was identical to the last with only the odd waterfall or rock fall to differentiate between them and get in the way.

    To enter Flickermark you had to navigate your way down a steeply sloping path, passing under two glossy black, slightly translucent arms that were at least twenty feet tall each at the beginning of the path. The arms always reminded me of the last flailing attempts of a person trying to catch themselves when they fell backwards. The left hand stretched toward the sky, and I knew once night fell it would frame the twin stars that always marked the eastern horizon. The right hand reached up and outward toward a large statue of the goddess. The statue stood on one of the broken plateaus made by the maze with its back turned on the outstretched hands, pointing toward the Statue Garden. It was made out of the same black glass as the arms, but little chips of clear glass had been added to the goddess¡¯s hair, so that whenever light touched them they shone like stars.

    The message Heliquat had sent to Her Beloved when she first laid eyes on her second trial was clear. If she wanted to save herself and her people, she would have to find her own path and do it herself. But if she missed her step and failed this trial there would no second chance or saving grace. No help nor mercy from the goddess, whose trust she had not yet earned.

    When we entered Flickermark, we entered with supplies and maps and the knowledge of many past generations to guide us and help us overcome any difficulty. The Beloved had none of that. The legend went that she entered Flickermark on bare feet and with nothing but the thin dress on her back. She walked the maze for days, never letting her hunger overcome her, never stopping. She found the path through the darkness and gifted her blood to the Grove that stood in the middle of the Statue Garden as the goddess bid. Then the Beloved became the first to drink the shadows and be granted the ability to walk through them. She stepped through the Grove¡¯s shadow to Flickermark¡¯s exit on the eastern side, skipping the need to find her way back out of the maze.

    Now the extremely pious and desperate tried to follow in her footsteps. The pious tried to complete all four trials as Her Beloved had and prove their devotion to the goddess beyond all doubt. Only about one in a century managed it, and for their effort they earned a title and none of the abilities. The Beloved had become the first whisper woman and, as such, all the abilities she earned through her trials became the staples that every whisper woman¡ªand no one else¡ªgot and earned through their initiation and training. The desperate normally tried to complete a trial in order to reach a Grove, a stand of pine trees that had been marked as holy ground, because it was said that prayers and worship made at one were better heard by the goddess. If reaching out through their blood speaker didn¡¯t work, going to a Grove was often the only option if no mundane solution could be found.

    However, no matter what anyone did, the landscape of the trials had changed some since the Beloved first completed them. No animals had yet settled in Flickermark and adapted to it when she first walked the paths and while it was difficult to confirm, some people thought that the pathways shifted and changed, so that now no one could follow the exact route that Her Beloved had taken. The Statue Garden hadn¡¯t been the Statue Garden when she first reached it, either, as the goddess hadn¡¯t yet punished the people for creating Grislander. Just a Grove, without the whisper women attendants and shamble men that people now expected. It seemed that shamble men were often drawn to places with concentrated amounts of the goddess¡¯s power.

    While I couldn¡¯t imagine her handling it with anything but grace, the Beloved hadn¡¯t had to face the maze¡¯s exit either. The only reason for the exit¡¯s existence was in case she failed, and the goddess wasn¡¯t one to hold back on shattering someone already broken. The exit was a claustrophobic tunnel and on every wall and the ceiling were thousands and thousands of carved eyes, watching. Judging. The floor was one long mosaic of torture. You walked on the backs of all those Her Beloved was trying to save being mutilated and broken. Heliquat hadn¡¯t yet put to rest Her vendetta to hurt Her sister by torturing and killing her newest creations, and the floor was full of images¡ªgouged eyes, fingers cut knuckle by knuckle, people set on fire and flayed alive¡ªof what She planned to do to make Her sister hurt. The tunnel twisted so that you could never see what new horror might be waiting next and the eyes pressed in around you. It was impossible to tell where the tunnel finally ended until it spit you out through the roots of a pine tree and a sky full of stars opened up over you.

    Blindfolds were often put on kids until they were nine or ten and ready to start a formal apprenticeship. Levain had taken my blindfold off when I was five with the excuse that she couldn¡¯t guide me and take care of the recently born twins even though Father was caring the majority of her healing supplies, and the twins had been sleeping, blissfully unaware, strapped to her back. I think, at that point, she was already done with touching me more than she had to. I had tried to close my eyes, but I had gotten slapped and chewed out for trying to be clever for my effort, and once I had my first glance of that tunnel, closing my eyes was useless.

    But, for all that the tunnel was horrible and the maze difficult to navigate, making our way through it was worth mixing up our route and lessening our chance of dealing with Picker bands every few years. Besides, we did our best to stay on northern edge of the maze, and by keeping our distance from the entrance to the Statue Garden we typically avoided the worst of the confusion Flickermark had to offer.

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    The tribe settled on the ground in front of Flickermark¡¯s entrance to wait for nightfall. Rawley and I were sent out to gather and fill empty food sacks as much as we could with the other lone huntresses and a few groups of two Pack huntresses accompanying various tribe members. We all knew where the best yielding spots were in the area, so Rawley and I made our way to where pallip grass was common and began to gather it. The grass could be ground down to make a slightly sour tasting flour that didn¡¯t take as much time to process as the pine nut flour people preferred to use or fed to the herds.

    We could hunt in Flickermark, but there wasn¡¯t a lot of plants in the ravines that the sheep and reindeer could eat. So the tribe had been gathering as we made our way down river, but there was also only so much that we could carry. The herders would be taking the sheep and reindeer to a nearby stream and encouraging them to eat and drink their fill.

    Rawley and I stayed quiet as we harvested. I still hadn¡¯t given her a direct answer to her invitation to be more open with her, but I didn¡¯t think she expected that to happen any time soon. Rawley wasn¡¯t very prone to talking unless she had a lesson to teach or observation to make, and even then she was as likely to let a look and silence carry her meaning rather than words. She made the silence comfortable and easy, rather than an oppressive bubble, and I often slipped into it with her without thinking.

    After Rawley dropped me off with Old Lily and the other wards whenwe were done harvesting, she went to go join Grandmother and the other leaders as they consulted and refreshed their memories on the best strategies to have the run through Flickermark go well. She wouldn¡¯t be allowed to stay with them long, if Fenris had anything to say about it, but Rawley would be given the orders for the lone huntresses so she could share them with the others, and I didn¡¯t doubt that my mentor would gain more than a bit of insight into how things were progressing when she did.

    Old Lily set me to separating the pallip grass seeds from the stalk with the other wards. The others did their best to studiously ignore me as they chatted and I sat a bit apart from them. It was gratifying to see that they still hadn¡¯t forgotten the tongue lashing I¡¯d given them during my first few days in Grandmother¡¯s tent. My life was better when I didn¡¯t have to worry about all of their curious prodding and judgment about my origins. Fear was easier.

    Still, it was difficult not to notice the group dynamics when all I had to do was separate seeds from the chaff. The boy with the club foot, Cil, was the oldest at fourteen, but Aris, a serious girl about a year older than me, was the clear leader. Raya and Gran were siblings closer to Fellen¡¯s age that had a hard time sitting still for any length of time. Aris had to keep reminding them to focus on the seeds. The last and youngest member of the wards was Delly, an earnest six-year-old who seemed to have a hero complex for Cil. Apparently, Cil had protected her from a couple of bullies.

    Gran and Cil both seemed to have crushes on Aris, but the girl never seemed to notice their little rivalry or their attempts to get closer to her. She only had eyes for becoming Grandmother¡¯s apprentice though Grandmother had yet to reward her for her enthusiasm. It was a bit of an open secret that Grandmother was going to pick Aris as her successor once she finished her current apprenticeship with Ghani¡¯s aide though some people were worried about the delay. Grandmother was already getting old, and apprenticeships to the role were typically the longest in the tribe and started at a younger age, but no one was willing to question Grandmother about the decision.

    Delly was likely to become Aris¡¯s Echo¡ªshe had a bit of Old Lily¡¯s qualities in her and Aris was always more patient with her than anyone else. Besides, Delly didn¡¯t seem to be suited to any other specialty and she was always seemed the happiest when someone asked her to help with something. Even now, she was being the most diligent about the seed work.

    I had little doubt that Raya and Gran would end up with fisher folk apprenticeships once the tribe was back at Gabbler Shore during the next warm season. They talked about the various varieties of fish and ways of filleting them too much for anything else. They also never stopped going on about how excited they were that Cil was going to cook the fish they prepared. Normal apprenticeships only lasted until the apprentice was fifteen, so as long as Cil passed his final test in a few months he would officially become an adult and a new cook when he completely his apprenticeship.

    I scowled down at my grass as Cil told a joke like it was the easiest thing the world and they all laughed. I would have my own friends to tell jokes to once I was a whisper woman, and they wouldn¡¯t know to treat me differently because of my background. They would respect me without me needing to make them afraid.

    Night fell quickly as the Gabbler Shore Tribe finished making its preparations to enter Flickermark and the whistle sounded for everyone to form the column in front of the archway the two arms made. In the starlight, the arms and the statue of the goddess seemed to become a deep blue and glow faintly. Rawley and I ended up at the front of the column with Nole and Fellen. Apparently, the leaders were confident that we wouldn¡¯t act up with our mentors there and they wanted their best trackers up front. Fenris and Yolay with Bluebell were also a part of our small advance group. Bluebell would be able to sniff out dangerous predators that might be lurking around a corner and she worked best with Yolay. Fenris liked the prestige of being part of the advance group, and trusted her second in command to take care of the rest of the Pack as they worked to protect the normal tribe members. She was also the best tracker that the Pack had to offer.

    The rest of the tribe would be in the middle of two Pack groups, including the herds, in case any danger came from behind or got past us in the front. The advance party wasn¡¯t to get too far ahead in case the passages did actually move, or the maze confused us in a more mundane way, so it wouldn¡¯t be quite the same as scouting. Mainly our job was to make sure that our passage lined up with the maps, and to quickly find the next best route if a rock fall or some other reason prevented us from following the outlined route.

    There wasn¡¯t a ceremony when it was time to enter Flickermark. Instead, the twin stars¡¯ position in the outstretched hand was double and triple checked to make sure all our maps were oriented correctly, and then the same whistle that sent us off on our seasonal run was taken up. The only special thing we did was that as every tribe member passed under the arched hands they took their prayer needle and flicked a few drops of blood onto the ground two times, once in a prayer thanking the goddess for averting Her gaze and once in a personal prayer to Her Beloved. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if most did the sensible thing and asked for her guidance through the dark paths below.

    We didn¡¯t use candles or torches as we descended into Flickermark. The light from them would ruin our night vision and make the stars a lot more difficult to see. Still, I heard more than a couple people stumble and curse in soft whispers behind me. The ravines had a way of carrying sounds farther than they were meant to go. I stayed close to Rawley and did my best to ignore everyone else around us. It didn¡¯t take long for the stars overhead to become a ribbon of sky, like a second pathway, as we followed the steep, winding path down and the ravine walls loomed ever higher.

 Ch. 16: Rivalry

    The tribe was quieter inside of Flickermark. The sheep even seemed to bleat less. Softly echoing footfalls became the main sound along with the scrape of the travoises against the ground. I knew it partly had to do with the fact everyone was concentrating to make sure they didn¡¯t trip and fall in the dark, and that no one would want their conversation to be heard by the entire tribe, but the silence always made me keenly aware of the other reason for the tribe¡¯s state.

    Flickermark was a sacred place, and even though we were only passing through, the very air seemed to demand that we act with solemn respect towards it in acknowledgment of its history and why it was created. It wasn¡¯t a place that invited gossip or trivial conversations, petty rivalries or signs of affection. Either you followed in the Beloved¡¯s footsteps and found the path through the darkness to the Statue Garden or you got out. We focused our attention on getting out.

    Still, whether it was a trick of the maze to help us lose our way or not, the monotonous similarity between the ravines created a kind of forced introspection. It was easy to let your eyes glaze over and get lost in thought when your surroundings barely changed. Even with the advance team, when we needed to be focused and repeatedly comparing the constellations we could see with the ones drawn with the pathways on the map, at different points everyone fell into an introspective daze¡ªthough everyone always came out of it whenever there was an intersection. When only two or so people could see the map for the current section at a time when we walked, it made it easier to slip into not paying attention and leaving the concentrating to the others.

    Some people fared better with the forced introspection than others. I was used to long quiet hours and unchanging surroundings from my time studying healing in Levain¡¯s shop, so Flickermark was a variation on what had been normal for me until a few months ago. The quiet and repetitive surroundings did more to help my concentration than hinder it, and when I did focus more on my thoughts I wasn¡¯t as likely to get lost in them. Rawley also kept her composure well. I think her specialties in tracking and traps gave her the ability to not be distracted by her thoughts during long, tedious periods of waiting or boring surroundings. Instead, she seemed to absorb every little detail of what went on around her while staying focused on her goal. I only caught her being distracted once during the entire first night we traveled through Flickermark¡ªafter I had to stifle a grin when Fellen stumbled and nearly face planted when the ground suddenly dipped.

    Fellen was one of the people who didn¡¯t seem to be handling the quiet and twisting pathways as well. She wasn¡¯t the type of person who took well to having to entertain herself. She oscillated between looking bored, annoyed, and anxious. Her left hand stayed near the sling I made her, though whenever she noticed that she would look like she was contemplating throwing it in a river. At least, she was smart enough to know better than to ask Nole for a lesson as a distraction when her mentor was currently holding the map and doing the most to keep the tribe on track through the maze.

    Instead, our¡­rivalry found a new outlet. Neither of us wanted to deal with consequences of an outright fight again, and I was willing to ignore the other girl as long as she left me alone. But then Rawley sent me to get some of the dried dung we used for small warmth fires after the first night in Flickermark. The tribe had settled in the curve of a ravine and no one looked thrilled at trying to sleep while the sun was starting to lighten the sky¡ªeven after a long day and night of travel. I collected several of the dung in a bag for the purpose and brought them back to where most of the advance group at settled near the front of the camp, just behind a couple of sitting Pack sentries. Fenris had gone to rest in the Pack¡¯s tent in the middle of camp.

    I set the dung down in a small pile in the area between the huntresses¡¯ tents, and when I looked up Fellen was there. She met my gaze with a smug smile before she snapped her fingers and the dung began to burn. The challenge in her eyes was clear: just try and prove that you¡¯re better than me. You¡¯ll only prove yourself a fool¡ªafter all, you can¡¯t even light a fire.

    I had to sit at her stupid fire and warm myself with the others as Rawley bid. The days and nights were getting colder, and wind tended to cut strong down in the ravines, so even with all the walking we did it didn¡¯t keep the wind¡¯s chill completely away for long. Popular thought was that if you warmed yourself by a fire and then went to sleep you''d be less likely to wake up with aching joints and sore muscles the next day.

    I knew I shouldn¡¯t rise to her bait, but the longer I sat at that fire the less I could stomach the smug look that glimmered in her eyes whenever our gazes happened to connect. Different pranks came to mind to wipe the superiority right off her face, but my conversation with Rawley and my mind¡¯s eye conjuring up an image of her looking disappointed shut down that line of action. No doubt if anything happened to Fellen in the near future, my mentor would quickly connect it back to me, whether I had a hand in it or not. In the end, we settled for having contests. Along with silently mocking and insulting each other. Flickermark might not be the place for petty rivalries, but ours became¡­all consuming during our time in the maze.

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    I beat her the very next day, during the odd hours between when everyone in the tribe woke up and the sun actually set enough for us to see the stars and continue on our way. Rawley had given me the task of mending some clothing and equipment while she tinkered with a simple rodent trap. Nole saw and decided to have Fellen do some mending as well while she sharpened her knife and spear. I got my mending done quicker¡ªand with smaller, more even stitches¡ªthan Fellen. She still had a child¡¯s dress and a shirt to go when I presented my folded pile to Rawley.

    We competed on getting the most praise from our mentors, completing tasks faster than the other, figuring out answers to different situations and questions that were posed to us during our training quicker and more completely than each other. We competed to see who could stretch farther, notice more, throw more accurately with the sling. Sometimes even walking or eating became a competition, and we were told more than once to enjoy our food rather than inhale it.

    I didn¡¯t doubt that Rawley and Nole knew what was going on, but as long as we didn¡¯t come to blows or get in the way they let the competitions continue. I think they gave up any idea that we might get along and decided that the competitions were better and easier to keep an eye on than forcing us to be more covert with pranks or more hostile actions. In fact, the competitions pushed us to invest more in our training and we both began to progress more than the Pack apprentices who were around the same stage of training as us.

    Ours wasn¡¯t the only ill relationship to heat up, either. Fenris looked ready to curse out Rawley by the middle of the second night, while Rawley never let the Pack Leader¡¯s comments faze her¡ªwhich only seemed to infuriate Fenris more. Fenris hated it that Rawley never hesitated to question her when my mentor saw a flaw in a plan she made or Fenris didn¡¯t explain herself fully and expected to get by on her position. Normally, the Pack Leader did good work even if she was pretentious in the doing of it, but if she did make a mistake Rawley was usually the first to call her on it. Rawley also didn¡¯t make a habit of calling her by her title and that seemed to rub Fenris the wrong way the most. She was definitely the type that thought since she had earned the title everyone else needed to acknowledge it with every waking breath. She put on airs and I could tell that Rawley wasn¡¯t the least bit impressed by them. My mentor preferred skill and and insight over lip service.

    In short, they were a bad match, and Nole or Yolay often got stuck with holding the map so that Fenris had to deal with Rawley as little as possible when they were deciding which way to go when the ravines merged and split. Despite the bad match ups in the advance group¡ªYolay also took to coolly pretending I didn¡¯t exist and some of her disapproval of me leaked into her interactions with Rawley¡ªno one allowed their personal relationships and opinions get in the way of their work. Getting the tribe through Flickermark safely was more important.

    Everything went relatively well during the first and second nights, though everyone had a quicker temper from the changed sleep schedule and attempting to sleep during the day. Tent walls could only keep out so much sunlight. The third night of winding our way through the ravines was when we hit the first important snag when it came to following our map.

    An upper portion of one of the ravine walls had collapsed, and the rock fall had blocked our way forward. Fellen was sent back to let the tribe know and have them wait while our mentors, Fenris, and Yolay swapped ideas about which path we should backtrack to and take. There were multiple paths that led to Flickermark¡¯s exit while only one led to the Statue Garden. The trick was taking a path that didn¡¯t lead too close to the southern side of the maze. We didn¡¯t know the star patterns there, and rumor was that the maze had mists and other effects there to ruin a person¡¯s sense of direction, along with some of the nastier creatures that had taken to calling Flickermark home. We had no desire to cross into a bane pack¡¯s territory.

    I was sent to scope out the rock fall and see if there was anyway for the tribe and the herds to cross it without someone getting a leg caught or slipping and cracking their head open. Four large boulders were the main obstacle to us continuing on our way while smaller rocks filled in some of the holes between them. The left most boulder looked like it fallen straight down and some of the smaller rocks around it had been created on impact. It was firmly stuck in its position and its pointed top offered no help in climbing across it. The smallest boulder was on the right, and it hadn¡¯t rolled all the way to the wall, but the last two boulders looked like they had once been one flat rock that had broken across that smaller boulder. The right piece had wedged itself firmly between the wall and small boulder, leaving only enough of a gap for a child to wriggle through, while the left side had done the same to the middle of the path with the help of some smaller rocks that were still at least twice the size of my head. The boulders themselves were at least twice my height. Perhaps some of the taller adults and the huntresses could leverage themselves up and over to the other side, but there was no clear way that I could see that would allow the herds to get past the barrier the rocks made.

    When I went back and gave my report, Rawley let me know that they had come to a decision. We would go back to the last intersection and take the path to our left. It was a new way that we hadn¡¯t gone before but, if we watched the stars carefully and compared them to what we could see on the paths we knew, we should be able to make our way back onto our typical path through the maze further in.

 Ch. 17: Uncharted Way

    The new pathway began to dive deep after we turned the first corner. It felt like we were on the path entering the maze all over again. For a brief, stupid moment I had to fight the urge to glance over my shoulder and double check that I couldn¡¯t see the hands and goddess statue looming over us. Tension made the air thick. Now everyone¡¯s hands stayed near their sling or knife. The huntresses¡¯ heads were craned upwards to catch glimpses of the sky more often than not. We had to keep stopping and starting as Fenris marked down the stars¡¯ positions and the path. It was interesting seeing her so focused and precise, even though the jarring nature of her work was annoying. Still, I¡¯d rather take the annoyance over getting throughly lost in Flickermark.

    I kept my gaze on the path ahead, careful to note any nooks and crannies that might hide a beast or two. I wasn¡¯t able to make out all the turns and spaces the shadows tried to hide, especially as we lost some of the moon and starlight as the path took us deeper, but I figured having more than one person devoting their attention to what might lie ahead couldn¡¯t hurt. It wasn¡¯t that the huntresses weren¡¯t paying attention to their surroundings, but that they only had so much awareness to give. It made sense to split the jobs.

    Yolay had taken point with Bluebell as soon as we stepped onto the new path. She was the other person who was giving her attention more to the path than what lay overhead. Bluebell¡¯s nose never seemed to stop twitching as she searched for the scent of any predators that might lie ahead¡ªthough given that we were upwind I wasn¡¯t sure how well she could sniff out what was coming. Fellen was giving her attention more to the ravine walls than anything. I hoped she was looking out for caves or precarious rocks that might fall. I almost said something, but then I thought better of it. I didn¡¯t want to accidentally distract the huntresses. Nor was it the time to let our rivalry distract me from my job and, if she had any potential at all to become a huntress, she would be doing hers.

    We kept walking as the path took us deeper and deeper. Fenris was forced to stop pausing so much to mark things down simply because the ravine walls blocked out everything but a thin strip of stars. After another five minutes or so of walking the path split into three. The left one looked liked it would lead us back to our original path, but it was so narrow I would have to slid sideways to pass through it. The adults and our supplies wouldn¡¯t have a chance of passing through it, especially since the ravine got narrower about five feet off the ground. It was more like a large crack in the wall than anything else. The center path kept sloping down. I was sent to check around its first corner and from what I could tell it didn¡¯t seem like it was headed toward the center of the maze. The right path rose and split into two more paths just a little ways in. From what we could tell they both seemed to head in the Statue Garden¡¯s direction, though all of that was not much more than guesswork¡ªgiven how the ravines twisted and turned all of them could bend back into the complete opposite direction than what we thought. Which was why everyone hated trying to figure out a new path through the maze.

    The tribe caught up to our group as the huntresses deliberated. The main argument seemed to be about whether we should follow this path back to the one that had been blocked try one of the other routes connected to it, or have the tribe settle here, however uncomfortable it was on the incline, while fishing groups were sent out to get a better idea of the paths in front of us. Since time was of the essence, before the night ran out, and no one looked too keen on hiking back up the hill we had just walked down, in the next few minutes it was decided that the tribe would ¡°go fishing¡±. It was a rare moment when Fenris and Rawley actually agreed on something.

    The advance group split into three, with Rawley and Nole each taking a path, and Fenris and Yolay on the last. All were given thin rope to knot¡ªdepending on which way the path turned they would knot it a certain way and the distance between knots would stand in for the length of the path between turns. That way they could devote more of their memory to the important constellations they saw as they went. Parchment was too costly and slow to make to use for anything but the final, official maps of Flickermark. Hence why Fenris was so careful to mark our new path correctly. We couldn¡¯t travel down all the paths we came across, or even always stop to go fishing down every path we came across to get basic knowledge of the path, so what ones the tribe did follow we made sure were marked and correctly aligned with the maps we did have.

    All three groups also had the line we used to make fishing traps tied around their midsection, so that they couldn¡¯t lose their way. Each line had a large spool of thread so it was doubtful that they would run out of line before they were ready to turn back and report. ¡°Going fishing¡± and ¡°fishing groups¡± had become the common terms for such exploration tactics simply because they looked like fish caught in a trap and they were fishing for information. The tribe had fun making the usual fishing jokes and after a bit good natured eye rolling the huntresses went on their way. Rawley took the middle path while the others went down the two branches of the right path.

    Fellen and I weren¡¯t experienced enough to take along, so we were dumped unceremoniously to the side and told not to cause trouble. If we were caught even bickering while our mentors were gone we would regret the consequences-never mind what those consequences actually were. I had no desire to join Grandmother¡¯s group or risk seeing my family by venturing into the tribe as people sat down to rest their feet and work on minor tasks, so I sat by the narrow left hand path. Fellen sat on the other side of the path¡¯s entrance and we had a silent contest of who could studiously ignore the other the longest. I won. I could watch the other tribe members going about their business, but Fellen had to turn in my direction if she wanted to do the same. As Rawley always said, preparation was key. With only ravine walls and the night sky to distract her, it wasn¡¯t even ten minutes before her gaze flicked towards me.

    It took only a few more minutes before she gave in to her boredom. So her voice wouldn¡¯t echo she whispered, ¡°What do you think is down is this path?¡±

    ¡°You care what I think?¡±

    She glowered at me. ¡°I should have known you weren¡¯t capable of handling a normal conversation.¡±

    I smirked at her. ¡°Careful. We¡¯re not supposed to bicker.¡± I twisted around so I could peer down the ravine. It looked craggy and full of shadows. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    Fellen was also looking down the path and she stiffened at my question. ¡°I don¡¯t see anything.¡±

    I leaned forward and made a show of squinting and moving my head as if I had actually seen something and was tracking its movement. But then I did see something. A soft purple glow that was hidden behind a lump in the wall unless you looked at the right angle. I pointed. ¡°Right there. The purple glow.¡±

    She shifted around trying to see before she looked at me, irritation plain on her face. ¡°This better not be one of your tricks.¡±

    I waved her words away. ¡°No, it¡¯s not.¡± Was it Hanli¡¯s Lament or Trickster¡¯s Cup? Or some new plant Levain hadn¡¯t taught me? Either way it would be rare and useful to have. I felt like I was on one our gathering trips, the excitement of finding the different plants and harvesting them, the freedom of being outside the tent. My favorite time as a healer¡¯s apprentice.

    I made Fellen crouch where I had been and pointed again. ¡°The purple glow. Don''t you see it?¡±

    It took her a bit to find the correct angle but I noticed when she did see it. She asked, ¡°What is it?¡±

    I pulled off my pack and rummaged through it before pulling out a ball of wool thread and slipping the pack back on. ¡°I¡¯m going to go find out.¡±

    Fellen¡¯s eyes widened and she glanced back at the tribe, but no one was paying us any mind other than a few curious glances. As long as we didn¡¯t start screaming at each other I was sure it would remain that way¡ªeveryone was either too busy or concerned with how the fishing was going to want to bother with two children not in their direct care. I tied the thread around one wrist and placed the other end in her hand.

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    ¡°You¡¯ll be my stake. It¡¯s not that far, but better safe than sorry.¡±

    I started to shuffle into the narrow ravine before I was pulled up short. I looked back to see that she wasn¡¯t letting the ball of thread unwind. ¡°You can¡¯t!¡±

    I rolled my eyes and did my best to smile at her. ¡°Think of it as fishing training. And it¡¯s not like you won¡¯t be able to see me the entire time.¡±

    She debated with herself before reluctantly relaxing her grip on the thread. ¡°If you die, that¡¯s on you.¡±

    That was the only thing she didn¡¯t need to worry about, but I kept that to myself and began my shuffle down the ravine again. I did keep my hand near my knife though, just in case. The ravine was little more than a long crack in the wall, irritatingly big enough that I felt like I should be able to walk forward normally at times, but just a little to narrow for that to actually work. The sky above and the few inches of air in front of my face gave just enough breathing room, to not feel completely oppressed by the narrowness of the ravine. I didn¡¯t like small, enclosed spaces, but I was used to feeling of being trapped enough that it would take more than a narrow path to overwhelm me.

    As I went I noticed rivulets of water running down the ravine walls and along the edges of the path. The purple glow was more likely to be Hanli¡¯s Lament then. The moss liked to grow in shadowy, damp places just as it¡¯s namesake had been drowned in a shadowy lake. It was more likely to be found on the rocks on the edges of ponds and lakes, but sometimes the moss found a suitable place inland, like this ravine seemed to be.

    Once I passed the bulge in the ravine wall, I crouched down as best I could in the small space to get a closer look at what was giving off the soft purple light. The light was coming from a hole a couple hand spans wide and inside it, just like I thought, was Hanli¡¯s Lament. The purple moss covered the inside of of the hole and was barely beginning to creep outside it. I glanced down the ravine and I saw a couple smaller purple glows. Elation filled me at the sight until I moved my head to look down at the moss in front of me and there wasn¡¯t the soft bump of the healer¡¯s beads against my temple, no quiet clink of bone hitting bone. This might be a treasure trove of Hanli¡¯s Lament, but it wasn¡¯t for me to make the calming drafts or other mixtures that could made from it. I couldn¡¯t even gather it without the risk of setting off the notion that I was still practicing the healer¡¯s craft, despite others occasionally gathering and bringing ingredients to Levain.

    So I had two choices: pretend the purple glow was nothing important and leave the Hanli¡¯s Lament hidden in the ravine, wasted. Or I could go to Levain and inform her about her about the moss so she could send the twins to retrieve some of it.

    I hated both options.

    A part of me wanted to harvest the moss without anyone the wiser, but if I got caught that would lead, as likely as not, to me being burned, and part of the preparation of Hanli¡¯s Lament was leaving it out to dry in the sun for a few days. I didn¡¯t humor myself with the thought that there was even a chance I could get away with that.

    I tried to stomach the thought of keeping the moss a secret, but the waste of such a rare plant galled me. The glow meant this was the proper time for the moss to be harvested too. My whole childhood of training welled up with Levain¡¯s repeated lessons of not wasting resources, to harvest at the correct time, to never pass up on a chance given to you. I wanted to see the drafts and mixtures that could be made with the moss, and having the moss meant Levain could have an upper hand when came to trading with the other healers in Grislander¡¯s Maw. I didn¡¯t want to help her, but the better prepared she was, the better it was for the whole tribe.

    Levain might put herself first all the time, but even she knew that strengthening the group helped her overall. The favors she earned didn¡¯t mean anything if there was no one to leverage them against. Survival was the prerequisite before everything else. Which was why the tribes tolerated healers even with the stigma they carried¡ªhealers kept them alive.

    If I hid the existence of the moss I would be hurting everyone¡¯s chance of survival by keeping an asset hidden. Nor could I accept acting with less insight than the woman who threw me away. Hiding the moss would only prove me worthy of the disappointed looks she had leveled my way for years rather than being a satisfying way of proving her wrong.

    My decision made, I let out a long breath and stood before making my way back down the ravine. I tried to untie the thread from my wrist as Fellen asked, insistent, ¡°What was it?¡±

    I ignored her and kept plucking at the tight knot. She began to look affronted, ¡°You don¡¯t get to ignore me¡ªI held the thread for you! What was it?¡±

    Giving up on the knot, I pulled out my knife and cut the thread. Snatching the ball of thread from her hands, I bit out, ¡°Moss,¡± before turning on my heel and leaving. I didn¡¯t have time for her. If I was going to do this, I had do it soon before my resolve broke.

    Fellen hurried after me, wanting a better answer, but I put her out of my mind. Preparing myself for interacting with my family was more important. I knew exactly where they would be¡ªon my left near the back of the tribe. Levain would be tending to the small ailments gained during the run by those brave enough to bother her for treatment. Adley would be wrapping Father around her little finger, gaining a sweet out of her efforts while Kem sat as close to Father as he could, waiting to tell him about every little silly thing he¡¯d seen and done that day.

    When I saw them there was a moment of vicious satisfaction as I noticed that, instead of what I had expected, Levain had both of the twins attending her as she rubbed ointment on a woman¡¯s foot. Of course, they could do little more than watch at this point, but finally the twins were getting a tiny taste of my whole childhood. Doubtless, Levain was being softer on them though. Father sat behind them making a new blanket.

    I marched up to the other side of the woman Levain was treating and stated, ¡°Hanli¡¯s Lament. It¡¯s ready to be harvested in the narrow ravine over there.¡± I pointed. ¡°You¡¯ll have to send the twins to retrieve it. Take it or leave it.¡±

    I knew I should turn around and march away as quickly as I¡¯d come, but I paused. I hated myself for the impulse but I paused, waiting for a single moment for a hint of praise or acknowledgment or¡ª

    I was foolish and waited for things I didn¡¯t need from a woman I knew would never give them.

    In that pause, Levain looked up, her face suffused with her favorite look of disappointment as we both recognized my moment of weakness. Her mouth twisted. ¡°Don¡¯t cling to things you no longer have, Gimlea.¡±

    And that was that. She dismissed me by focusing back on her patient, a woman I knew she didn¡¯t care about as more than stepping stone in that moment. Adley looked smug about Levain¡¯s rejection. Kem, worried¡ªno doubt for himself. Father looked like he wanted to say something, but I knew he wasn¡¯t brave enough to object in Levain¡¯s presence. He had twelve years of chances to do so after all.

    I felt myself go cold and distant. Vacant. Like I wasn¡¯t completely inside my own skin anymore. I turned around and left. As I passed Fellen the cold part of me noted the shocked look on her face. I guessed it was one thing to throw insults her mother had said at me and another to see the truth of it first hand.

    Levain had taught me her final lesson: disappointment and apathy cut the worst of all.

    I felt the reality of what I had been saying for the past few months sink in. I didn¡¯t have a mother. I couldn¡¯t be what I always defined myself as. The healer¡¯s daughter: disliked and unwanted. I had to be something else. Something new.

    When Levain threw me away, I had realized I couldn¡¯t be both the girl who was a healer¡¯s daughter and who couldn¡¯t die, so I tried to keep one and cover up the other. But I couldn¡¯t have healing now and I wasn¡¯t a healer¡¯s daughter.

    I did still have my mark and its blessing. The very blessing that had caused Levain to give up on her dream of making me one of the goddess¡¯s chosen. So.

    So what better way to get revenge than take what she had taught me, what she wanted me to be, and twist it? I wouldn¡¯t become one of the goddess¡¯s chosen simply to no longer be under anyone¡¯s thumb. I would become the goddess¡¯s chosen who was known to have a blessing that didn¡¯t let her die. I would rise with the very thing that had caused Levain to think me useless.

    I couldn¡¯t be Gimlea anymore. I couldn¡¯t use the name that woman had given me. Couldn¡¯t hang onto what I didn¡¯t have. I wasn¡¯t like the Lea flower, tiny and pretty and useful for boiling into a sticky concoction that held cuts together.

    I made the cuts. I was strong and unbreakable and able to stand on my own.

    I was¡­Gimley.

    Gimley the huntress¡¯s apprentice. Gimley, Grandmother¡¯s ward.

    Gimley the girl, and future whisper woman, with the mark that wouldn¡¯t let her die.

 Ch. 18: Discussions

    I went back to the front of the tribe and sat against the ravine wall opposite of the narrow left path. A family of other tribe members blocked my view of the path, so if anyone did go inside I couldn¡¯t see them and they couldn¡¯t see me. The family gave me the side eye a couple times before silently agreeing to ignore me just as I was ignoring Fellen. She had, for some foolish reason, decided to trail after me after I passed her earlier and was now leaning back against the wall, just close enough that the family might think us a pair.

    ¡°Go away.¡±

    She didn¡¯t. Instead she opened her mouth to say something, so I cut her off.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk to you. Don¡¯t you have friends you can go bother?¡±

    I was so focused on the way my arms and hands didn¡¯t feel like my own, feeling like I was watching myself as the cold slipped and settled around my chest and stomach, focused on becoming someone new, that I almost missed her answer. It was small and, when I spared a glance at her, she looked ashamed.

    ¡°No.¡± She crumpled her dress skirt in a tight fist. ¡°They all said I was too much of a baby to be fun to play with. That I was too slow. Sometimes we would play hide-and-seek and they wouldn¡¯t bother to find me. But that¡¯s not nearly as bad as what your mother did to you, is it?¡±

    ¡°No, it isn¡¯t.¡± I didn¡¯t bother to correct her that I didn¡¯t have a mother anymore. It was a waste of breath and I refused to acknowledge her existence more than I had to.

    Fellen didn¡¯t seem to mind that I wasn¡¯t in the mood to talk. ¡°When they would leave me in the forest or crouching behind a tent I would think to myself, ¡®At least I¡¯m not a healer¡¯s daughter. At least I¡¯m better than that¡¯ so that I would feel better the next time they snubbed me.¡±

    I let out an annoyed groan. I wanted to focus on my plans, think through what I was going to do next, not listen to her mundane sob story. ¡°Shut up, Fellen.¡±

    Tears welled up in her eyes, but instead of breaking down and leaving me alone like I hoped she turned to glare at me. ¡°What I¡¯m trying to say is that¡ªis that while you might be mean and pushy you haven¡¯t ignored me. We even have contests now. So even though I don¡¯t really understand why your mother wouldn¡¯t want you and I still don¡¯t like you, I thought I should let you know that you won¡¯t be able to get rid of me. I¡¯m going to beat you in lots of contests and prove that I¡¯m a worthy rival. And get you back for every time you beat me.¡±

    Her little speech felt like a double punch to the stomach and the vacant feeling lessened. One punch for the galling idea that she would ever beat me in enough contests to make the score even, and another for her insistence that she wouldn¡¯t abandon me. I gave her a dry look. ¡°You know beating me doesn¡¯t mean much? No one thinks highly of me, either.¡± I couldn¡¯t help the sneer that entered my voice with that statement. ¡°Besides, why do you seem think that sticking to me like a burr is supposed to make me feel better after what just happened?¡±

    It did help, the tiniest amount, but she didn¡¯t need to know that.

    She sniffed and wiped her eyes, wincing a little when she accidentally pressed too hard on the black eye I gave her. ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡±

    My eyebrows rose. ¡°You don¡¯t care?¡±

    She crossed her arms, the perfect image of mulishness. ¡°I don¡¯t care. I¡¯m your rival and I¡¯m going to beat you, and you and everyone else will just have to deal with that.¡±

    I snorted and we both let the conversation fall silent. I finally got to start working through what, if anything, accepting my blessing changed while Fellen occupied herself by practicing with her sling. Using a stone would make too much noise in the ravine, so she had to settle for just practicing the motion of it.

    As I thought through my options I realized that nothing could really change in the short term. I still needed to learn as much as I could from Rawley, and my apprenticeship would likely last until I was taken to the Seedling Palace during the Dark Night celebrations in the middle of the cold season¡ªif I got my first blooding by then. Being open about my blessing would really matter once I entered the Seedling Palace and earned my way to becoming a whisper woman. That was when it could affect which order I was accepted into, but I had no clear idea how those assignments were decided or what it even it took to graduate from the Seedling Palace. Whisper women didn¡¯t return to their tribes and gossip about what they went through, nor did they have the time or inclination to talk about anything but official business with the common folk. And those that failed to pass were never heard from again. Some people speculated that they were trapped in the Seedling Palace until they finally managed to graduate while others just assumed they were killed¡ªas always, the goddess wasn¡¯t known for her mercy. I would have to be careful who I told about my blessing and how I phrased it. I might be determined to become ¡®the whisper woman with the blessing that doesn¡¯t let her die,¡¯ but I wasn¡¯t so blinded by the goal that I failed to realize the drawbacks attached to it. There would be those that thought it gave me too much life even without knowing my training in the healer¡¯s craft, as well as those more than willing to put me in a dangerous situation simply so they didn¡¯t have to risk their own neck. One didn¡¯t reach the heights of power without being resourceful. I would have to deal with those situations as they came.

    Rawley returned a couple hours later. I saw her look to where Fellen and I had been sitting by the left narrow path before catching sight of us and giving me a brief smile. She continued deeper into the tribe to report to Grandmother and Ghani. After another fifteen minutes or so I caught sight of her making her way toward us. Fellen noticed me sit up straighter and she tucked her sling into her belt so that she could also be ready when my mentor reached us. Rawley saw that I was about to stand up and motioned for me to keep sitting.

    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    I stated my new name as soon as Rawley stood before us. ¡°Gimley.¡±

    Rawley knelt in front of me so we were almost eye level. Eyebrows drawn together, she asked, ¡°Gimley?¡±

    The distance I still felt inside my own skin, the cold vacancy, allowed me to say her name without choking. ¡°I won¡¯t use the name Levain gave me anymore. So call me Gimley.¡±

    The tiniest hint of amusement warmed Rawley¡¯s gaze¡ªand I knew she didn¡¯t miss the similarity of my new name to her own¡ªmingled with her deepening concern. ¡°I will. But what brought on this change so suddenly?¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure if somehow no one had told her what had happened or if she simply wanted to hear it from me. My gaze dropped to my left thigh, and the cold part of me flashed through the events leading to my decision, but it wasn¡¯t strong enough for me to get the words through the sore wounds the memories had left. Pure logic and observation could only dull the pain of her second rejection.

    Fellen, it seemed, had no such difficulty. She had barely kept the need to talk about what she witnessed behind her lips ever since she started to follow me. Even after our initial conversation I had seen her glance my way several times and almost say something before thinking better of it. ¡°She went to tell her mother about some glowing purple moss we found, and her mother barely spared her a glance and a reprimand that she shouldn¡¯t ¡®cling to things you don¡¯t have¡¯ or something like that. I think she told her mother to help and the healer threw it back in her face in front of the whole tribe. Gimlea¡±¡ªFellen quickly corrected herself after a censoring look from both Rawley and me¡ª"Gimley went pale and stalked away. It was like¡­it was¡­¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Fellen.¡± Rawley¡¯s voice didn¡¯t change¡ªit was as calm and understanding as ever¡ªbut the air did. It was as if a calm pot of water started to boil or the tension line of a trap was beginning to fray. Something, that if overlooked or ignored, promised trouble and danger.

    I looked up. I was used to her pale, intense gray eyes that always gave the impression they didn¡¯t miss anything, but when I looked up I saw her gaze had changed too. It had gone hard and sharp¡ªfocused on a single point rather than taking in everything around her. She was looking over her shoulder and I didn¡¯t need to look past her to know what she was glaring at. It was almost as if Rawley could see her through the clusters of tribe members and supplies blocking her view. In that moment I didn¡¯t doubt that Rawley could do anything with that gaze and her silence alone. Even make Levain cross her wrists in submission.

    But Rawley didn¡¯t immediately go stalk through the crowd after her quarry. Instead she brought her intense focus to bear down on me as she lifted her hands to my shoulders. I could tell from the way her hands clenched that she wanted to pull me in for a hug as she had after I cut off my healer¡¯s beads, but she restrained herself. ¡°Gimley, this moss, is it important?¡±

    It felt oddly right to hear her say my new name, enough that the cold receded a bit more. ¡°Hanli¡¯s Lament. It¡¯s valuable and rare. Some of the strongest calming drafts for birthing mothers and wounded huntresses are made with it.¡±

    Rawley smiled as if I had made a bad joke. ¡°Very valuable then. I¡¯ll inform Ghani about it, so that it gets collected before we move on. It wouldn¡¯t be¡­smart for me to talk with the healer right now nor is this time to say what needs to be said. But I won¡¯t surprise you again¡ªI will be speaking with the healer once we make camp in the morning. You¡¯re welcome to join me if you wish, but, if you don¡¯t go, know that none of what I have to say would change with your absence.¡± She noticed my hesitation and added, ¡°Think on it. There¡¯s no need to come to a decision now.¡± Her smile softened into something more genuine as she squeezed one of my shoulders again. ¡°I can wait.¡±

    I knew she meant for more than my decision to join her or not. She would wait for me to be ready to tell her about the latest incident with Levain in my own words as well as about any of the other troubles had gone on before. She would wait and then she would listen, no matter how long it took.

    Rawley turned to Fellen next and bundled the other girl off, so she could point out where to find the Hanli¡¯s Lament and to give me some space. Her control of her temper was impressive. I could still feel her anger simmering just beneath the surface, but she didn¡¯t let it deter her from what she needed to do. Instead, she seemed to redirect it into efficiency.

    When she left with Fellen there was no wasted movement, no distraction, though I also didn¡¯t miss the way plans were being played out and discarded behind her eyes.

    Patience. Listening. Preparation. Flexibility.

    She followed her own lessons well.

    --

    After Nole and the pack huntresses returned it was decided we would take Nole¡¯s path. Rawley¡¯s had been blocked by a waterfall and large pool of water that no one wanted to try to cross without crossing lines¡ªwhich would take time to make¡ªand the uncertainty of what might be in the water. Fenris and Yolay¡¯s path had turned sharply towards the center of the maze which was enough to quell any desire to follow it. Nole¡¯s path had also headed more gradually in the same direction, but she had found another path that branched off it that seemed to head back toward the northern side of the maze.

    The going was slow even with Nole¡¯s guidance as Fenris still had to make the more detailed version of the path and the constellations we saw as we went. The path also rose up on a gradual incline and, while I didn¡¯t think much of that at first, the burn of hiking up it crept up on me. I might be more fit than I ever had been before, but I still tired more easily than what I wanted. That didn¡¯t mean I wanted Rawley to worry about me more than she already was, though, so I gritted my teeth and did my best not to pant. I heard others pulling along the heavy travoises grunt with effort, and hated the comparison that would come if anyone noticed how tired I was despite the fact that I was only carrying a small pack.

    Throughout the night we had to decide between turning onto another path that split off from the one we followed or staying on the same one several times. Each time an abbreviated version of going fishing was done. Fellen and I would go with our mentors to the first corner of each path and then they would go and check around a few more corners while we held their line. Training didn¡¯t have to completely stop just because we were in Flickermark. The huntresses only decided to take one of the new paths once when the path we were on began to turn back on itself.

    I didn¡¯t go with Rawley when she went to see Levain. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to make her think I was still trying to cling to what I didn¡¯t have or to acknowledge her existence when it wasn¡¯t necessary. She obviously didn¡¯t care to acknowledge me. So I sat outside Rawley¡¯s tent and tried to focus on scrapping the hair off a rabbit¡¯s skin when more often than not I caught myself staring toward the back of the camp. Really, I knew I should be sleeping with the majority of the tribe, but Rawley had seen how restless I was before left and silently handed me the frame with the rabbit skin and the rock scrapper. I don¡¯t know how long it was before my mentor returned, but I must have ran through at least a hundred different options of how her meeting with Levain would play out and how I would act when she returned. Despite that I still hadn¡¯t decided if I wanted to know the details of what was said when she did come back.

 Interlude - Confrontation

    Rawley whistled the courtesy whistle to let the healer know she was waiting to enter her tent. Levain didn¡¯t setup her shop during the run¡ªit would take too much time to setup and pack again. Her patients were normally tended to outside and tribe members typically preferred getting treated during the run since they didn¡¯t have to enter the healer¡¯s domain.

    Instead of whistling for her to come in or checking to see who it was, Levain exited the tent. Rawley caught a glance of Coltran, Mel¡¯s husband, resting inside with Gimley¡¯s younger siblings sharing a pallet close by. Levain had her heavy bag of healing supplies slung over one shoulder. She looked tired, annoyed, and cold. She hadn¡¯t taken the time to put her cloak on¡ªprobably thinking this was a quick healing session and she could be back inside in her tent in a few moments. Rawley shifted her attention to the plans she had made where she confronted the healer outside her tent, then and there. There was no reason to bring the rest of the family directly into it, and she saw no reason to give Levain leverage in what was surely going to become an argument. So, she smiled placidly at Levain and waited.

    Levain snapped, ¡°Do you need healing or not?¡±

    Rawley felt her temper simmer higher at the healer¡¯s disrespect, but she kept the placid smile on her face. ¡°Follow me.¡± She made a come on gesture and turned to weave her way through the camp. When Levain didn¡¯t move Rawley rose her eyebrows slightly at her and asked, pitched just high enough that it would echo, ¡°You would disobey a huntress?¡±

    Levain¡¯s jaw clenched in anger even as she paled. She flicked her hand in a quick gesture for Rawley to go ahead. ¡°I only paused to see where you lead.¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± Rawley started walking again. ¡°I¡¯ve know known many people to stand still to get a better view rather than move to see past the tents blocking the horizon. I can only imagine they are awed by the tents¡¯ craftsmanship.¡±

    Levain knew better than to respond to that, despite her quick temper, so they made the rest of their way to spot Rawley had in mind in silence. Rawley led her to a small nook in the side of the ravine a short distance outside of camp. The sentries didn¡¯t comment as they walked by, it wasn¡¯t their place to do anything unless a physical fight broke out and they knew Rawley should be able to protect herself and the healer if any predators decided to chance an attack. However, Rawley didn¡¯t doubt that Fenris would hear about their meeting that night. Levain hesitated as they left the camp behind¡ªRawley knew she wouldn¡¯t like having to put her wellbeing into Rawley¡¯s hands¡ªbut under the sentries¡¯ gazes the healer opted for a presentation of goodwill rather than mulishness.

    When they reached the nook Rawley let herself be the one pushed up against the back wall. That way Levain wouldn¡¯t feel quite as trapped¡ªeasier to predict and slightly less guarded¡ªand she would be the one still partially in view of the camp. The knowledge of that would censor her, as it had a minute before, while there could only be hearsay about Rawley¡¯s actions. And who would give the healer the time to complain about what a huntress might or might not have done if Levain even bothered to try?

    Rawley made her position against the back wall a bit slouched, comfortable, as if she was about to have a pleasant conversation and she could stand there all day while Levain stood before her, arms crossed tight, shivering as the gusts of wind whined by. Sometimes people thought that best way to put another in their place was all shouting, threats of violence, and bluster. Threats of violence could be useful, but Rawley had found that assuming quiet, unwavering authority often worked better than all the noise. Rawley slipped an expectant look on her face and waited for Levain to speak.

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Levain lasted longer than she had at the tent, but only by a moment or two. She was not a patient woman. ¡°Why did you drag me out here? I don¡¯t see anyone who needs healing.¡± They both knew the entire situation had to do with Gimley, but Levain was doing her best at keeping up the pretense that she had no knowledge of her eldest daughter.

    Rawley gave her a small, knowing smile. ¡°Who said I¡¯m not hurt?¡±

    ¡°Then let me heal you so I can get out of this blighted cold.¡±

    Rawley fell silent again until Levain looked ready to turn on her heel and march back into camp. ¡°Why do you think I brought you out here?¡±

    Levain drew in a long suffering breath, before letting it out slowly. She ground out, ¡°My daughter.¡±

    Mock surprise opened Rawley¡¯s eyes wide. ¡°Why would I want to talk about Adley? For all, that you nearly didn¡¯t send anyone to treat my apprentice, she did an adequate job.¡±

    ¡°Gimlea,¡± Levain clarified.

    ¡°Gimley.¡± Rawley corrected. ¡°You see, my apprentice didn¡¯t want keep anything you gave her. She¡¯s been quite clear that she no longer has a mother. Given that you still refer to her as a daughter, don¡¯t you think you¡¯re the one clinging to things you no longer have?¡±

    ¡°I gave birth to her. Trained her. I can call her whatever I wish.¡±

    ¡°And you threw her away.¡± Rawley let the full force of her simmering temper show then and the other woman shifted, but had enough willpower to keep from taking a step back. Rawley continued, voice like ice, ¡°You threw her away after you broke her. She could have been much further along in her training by now, but half my time has to be spent letting her know she can trust me. She hates sharing her ideas and never asks for help, though I can tell she wants to learn.¡±

    Levain rallied, ¡°Then you understand why I needed to be strict! It was the best way for her to learn. I did what I could¡ªeven taught the selfish girl the healing craft like she wanted¡ªbut it was all a waste of time and effort. She couldn¡¯t even get her blessing right.¡±

    Rawley¡¯s anger flared and her fingers brushed her knife as she pushed off the wall to make use of the two inches she had on the healer. Her smile came back, but this time it was not placid or knowing or kind. This time is was more a baring of teeth and a soft promise. ¡°Say one more unnecessary or hurtful thing about Gimley and I¡¯ll cut off the twins¡¯ healer¡¯s beads. I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll love to be free of your taint. They might even thank you for freeing them of your legacy.¡± Levain opened her mouth to cut in but Rawley gave her no quarter. ¡°Say something of the kind twice, or to Gimley, and I¡¯ll cut off yours. You might hate what you are now, but you¡¯ll be nothing then. Still tainted and nothing to show for it¡ªno lover, no unique skills, no way to gain influence. I won¡¯t let your idiotic jealousy ruin my apprentice¡¯s life any further; I treat my dependents well.¡±

    ¡°You have no right!¡±

    Rawley did smile gently then because she knew that would belittle Levain the most. ¡°Mindful of the echo, healer.¡±

    It took a visible effort for Levain to swallow down the anger making her face blotchy. Her hands still gripped her upper arms hard enough to leave bruises. When she spoke it was with forced civility. ¡°Do you have anything else to say, oh huntress?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± Rawley¡¯s knife was in and out of its sheath in two blinks of the eye. A drop of blood welled from just under her left collarbone. ¡°Heal me.¡±

    Levain looked ready to punch her, but instead she forced her hands to release their grip before efficiently tending to the tiny cut. Even in her anger she couldn¡¯t risk the cut becoming a liability or failure, no matter the knowledge that she was playing into Rawley¡¯s hands. Once her last pouch was in her bag and Rawley¡¯s cloak covered the tended cut, they both left the nook without a word.

 Ch. 19: The Distance in Between

    Rawley sat down next to me, quiet and looking a little worn and sorrowful in the way her lips pinched together, her head tilted slightly to side and down, the slower pace of her stride before she reached me. I stayed quiet and fell still as¡ªin one smooth motion¡ªshe undid her braid and bent forward, her hair falling to cover up her face and block out the light slowly crawling down the ravine walls. Rawley lifted her hands to make a second barrier and I didn¡¯t need to see them to know she was cupping them around her eyes. Taking solace in, or cleansing oneself in, self-made shadow was a private thing and often only done inside tent walls, though I had seen a few instances when people did it in public to help them calm down from extreme emotion so they wouldn¡¯t embarrass themselves. With everyone else but the sentries sleeping, where we sat was nearly as a good as being in the tent as long as you were mindful of the echo and talked softly. I didn¡¯t miss that she didn¡¯t hesitate before she put herself into the vulnerable state and thus expressed her trust in me. Long minutes passed as Rawley breathed in the shadow and cleansed herself. Then she lifted her head and pushed her hair out of her face.

    Rawley smiled so gently at me that it hurt. ¡°You might not believe me now, but you are strong and capable and talented in spite of that woman, not because of her. The skills you learned as her apprentice you would have honed regardless or not needed, and you wouldn¡¯t have gained the scars that came with them.¡± She chucked me under the chin with a knuckle. ¡°I can¡¯t be your mother, but if you ever need someone to lend an ear or comfort, ask and I¡¯ll be there. As your mentor, I can do that much.¡±

    She well knew that was above and beyond the normal scope of a mentor/apprentice relationship even as she presented it as the bare minimum. It had nothing to do with a skill taught and learned, but I could tell that she meant every word. She would do what she could to support me and she had high expectations of my capabilities.

    Pressure weighed down my back and shoulders. It would be so easy to let her down, for that gentle smile to turn into a frown of disappointment. What if I couldn¡¯t open up to her like she wanted? What if I couldn¡¯t learn a new skill fast enough? Failed to answer one of her leading questions correctly one too many times? What if¡ªif I did open up¡ªRawley saw through the cracks and saw the same barely usable girl she had known? Rawley was observant enough. She could decide I was too life-ridden to teach.

    Pressure locked up my throat as the cold and vacant feeling returned with full force. There was so much farther to fall, so much more to ruin, when someone thought well of you. And Rawley kept pushing her kindness onto me. I hadn¡¯t figured out the best way to respond yet. I didn¡¯t know how to deal with it. Didn¡¯t want it. It might be sweet in the moment, but there was also traps and caveats hidden within the kindness, unspoken. Possibly unintentional, but still there and I didn¡¯t know the rules that would allow me to correctly navigate them.

    Nothing was unconditional.

    Warmth enveloped my left hand and I blinked and looked down to find Rawley¡¯s right hand enveloping my own and her other hand on the frame holding the rabbit skin. She took it from me along with the rock scrapper and gestured to the tent with her head. ¡°Let¡¯s get to sleep. We¡¯ll need our focus tomorrow.¡±

    At her words, I felt the cold vacancy recede as a small knot in my chest eased in relief. It was only then that I realized how afraid I had been to hear what had been said¡ªto know if Levain had dismissed me without a moment¡¯s hesitation again.

    I nodded in agreement and the cold eased back to what it had been before Rawley returned. I had time; Rawley didn¡¯t expect me to respond to her overtures now. I didn¡¯t need to protect myself with every inch of distance I could muster. I had time to figure out my options. I followed Rawley into the tent, expecting to lay there for hours staring at the tent wall, but exhaustion overtook me in minutes.

    --

    The path we followed wound its way back to the northern side of Flickermark only to develop a new problem. It continued over a natural stone bridge that was between 3 and 4 feet wide. We knew the bridge. Our normal path through the maze passed underneath it on the third day if everything went well. We were a day behind and there was no easy way down to the path below. Our best choices were to test the durability of the bridge and send a fishing group to check where the path led, or hike back a half an hour and try the path we had found that led back to the west while hoping it linked back up with our main path. No one had supported going in the wrong direction before, but if the bridge route didn¡¯t work out it was the best option now that we were back in the northern ravines.

    Rawley and Nole took Fellen and me aside as best they could in the ravine. Nole spoke first, ¡°You are both part of the advance group as our apprentices which is why you will have the honor of taking the first step onto the bridge rather than one of the Pack apprentices.¡±

    So they wanted to test if the bridge could hold a child¡¯s weight or two before one of the huntresses tried to cross to go fishing. It was as dubious of an honor as Nole¡¯s task of always bringing the first and last of the crossing lines across the river. She was still healing from the injury that honor had brought her.

    Rawley asked, ¡°Which of you will go first?¡±

    Going first was more dangerous, put you farther out on the bridge with open air and a long way to fall all around you. If the bridge did break the second person had a higher chance of making it back to the tribe while the first took the risk of being blocked by them or trusting their feet were fast enough to carry them to the other side. Whoever went first would gain more respect in eyes of the tribe and win this round of our rivalry.

    Fellen glanced at me before raising her chin, ¡°I¡ª¡±

    ¡°I will,¡± I cut her off. If something went wrong, there was a higher chance there wouldn¡¯t be a rivalry if I didn¡¯t go first. Fellen wasn¡¯t brave, I knew that, so I had to hide my surprise when it looked like she would argue. Our competitions pushed her farther than I had thought, but even though that impressed me, just a little bit, I couldn¡¯t let her go first. So I gave her one of my meanest glares, ignored the flash of hurt on her face, and shifted my attention back to our mentors. ¡°I will.¡±

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    Rawley noted the exchange before stepping aside to reveal the stone bridge. ¡°Then step carefully.¡±

    There really wasn¡¯t much preparation needed to step onto a bridge. I walked forward and the abnormally quiet tribe got quieter. Was it because they thought I still had too much life in me that would bring misfortune or because they wanted to see who was taking the first step? Perhaps they were worried about the tribe encountering more delays and taking more time in the maze, or maybe they thought my blessing had something to do with bridge testing. I snorted softly. If only it was that simple.

    I took my first step onto the bridge. Wind buffeted me immediately and I stumbled a step to the side before I caught myself. I didn¡¯t have a lot of weight to hold me to the ground, so I angled myself so I was a slimmer target and braced myself against the wind. I took a few more steps before I stomped my feet, testing the bridge. It held. I repeated the process until I was in the middle of the bridge. The bridge was at its narrowest point here, but it still held after I repeatedly stomped on it as hard as I could. I crouched down to make myself an even smaller target for the wind and looked back to see Fellen making her first tentative step onto the bridge. She learned from my example and immediately braced herself against a gust of wind so she didn¡¯t stumble. Fellen did her best to stomp on different places of the bridge than I had. The bridge held the first few places she stomped, but the fourth time she met my gaze with a determined look and then jumped as hard as she could onto the bridge. For a moment after she landed everything seemed fine, but then I felt something shift beneath me.

    ¡°Fellen! Stop!¡± I tried to warn her but the wind whisked away my words and she was still a couple arm lengths away¡ªstill too distant to grab and stop or push her closer to the tribe.

    She took a couple steps closer and stomped again. The bridge gave more and, given her wide eyes, I knew she felt it that time. We stared at each other for a couple heartbeats before I came back to myself. Lifting a hand from the bridge I gestured for her to back the way we came, slow and steady.

    She did. At first. But then she must have put too much weight on a single spot because something in the bridge shifted again and it startled her enough that she lurched backwards. A loud cracking sound broke through the whine of the wind. I took that as my cue to start moving and sprinted for the other side as I heard stone crashing onto the path below. I reached the other side only to look back and see that Fellen was still on the bridge. More accurately, she was clinging to the side of it¡ªhalf on, half off.

    It looked like the part of the bridge she had lurched onto had collapsed leaving only a strip of stone little more than a foot wide holding that side of the bridge together and Fellen up in the air. She was still closer to the middle of the bridge than the tribe, and to get back to them she would have to brave that narrow strip of stone and hope it held. She would also have to turn around or attempt going backwards. Fellen slowly pulled herself fully back onto the bridge, facing me, splayed out as flat as she could go.

    Then she began to make her way toward me, each movement as slow as if she was wading through sap or honey. Toward me. I tried to wave at her to go the other way, but all that did was cause her to go from panicked to mulish. I could see the cracks slowly spreading out around her as she crested the middle of the bridge, but she didn¡¯t lurch out of fear this time. She just kept going, doing her best to minimize the damage to the bridge. Fellen was still at least seven or eight feet away when the bridge started to crumble.

    ¡°Run!¡±

    She heard me that time¡ªor the loud cracking sound from behind her. Fellen scrambled forward, more on her hands and knees than her feet, in a last ditch effort to reach me. She nearly made it. I saw the stone give out beneath her and she clawed at the remains of the bridge, desperately trying not to fall. Even without the broken stone bridge to break her back on, the height alone was likely to kill her. I leapt forward as she slipped off.

    I managed to catch hold of her pack and her hair. She yelped even as I began to slide forward with her weight. There was nothing for me to gain purchase on nor did I have the strength to pull her up.

    ¡°Climb! Hurry!¡±

    If she didn¡¯t we would both be going over the edge soon. Fellen¡¯s flailing hands locked onto one of my arms and a small handhold left in the broken stone. She pulled herself, using me and what purchase she could find in the stone as a ladder. I adjusted my grip on her pack and hair as she went, doing what I could to help leverage her up as I did my best to press my body into the ground to keep from sliding into the open air.

    I slipped a little too far just as she managed to get fully up onto the path, and Fellen had to catch me and pull me back with a tired grunt. We laid on our backs for awhile, looking up the night sky, catching our breath, before we realized that we were being whistled at. We sat up and were finally able to take in the fullness of our situation.

    Most of the bridge was gone¡ªonly a few feet on either side still remained, where the bridge had been the thickest. Luckily, it looked like the fallen remains of the bridge hadn¡¯t completely blocked the path below, so we hadn¡¯t ruined two potential paths for the tribe. Not that mattered for us¡ªunless this path happened to connect with the one below. We had no way back over the gap to the tribe, no rope to climb down to the path below and back up the other side nor a way to anchor it, no guarantee we could find our way back to each other in this maze. We had no maps, no shelter, little food and water. We were apprentices¡ªtwelve and ten years old¡ªon our own in Flickermark.

    Rawley was whistling at us. It cut through the wind and distance better than words did. She repeated five different signals in order.

    Go. Tribe. Follow Tracks. Good Hunting. Confirm.

    Fellen and I both understood her meaning well. The tribe couldn¡¯t wait for us even if they assumed we could make it out of Flickermark on our own. The cold season was coming and it didn¡¯t wait for anyone. They would be more likely to get out first as they had the maps and better resources. If we got out we should follow their tracks to Grislander¡¯s Maw, possibly catch up to them, as a party of two moved significantly faster than a tribe slowed down by transporting all of their possessions and herds. ¡®Good Hunting¡¯ was the best compliment and well wishing a huntress could do through whistling.

    We confirmed. Nole repeated the three sharp notes that meant good hunting and we whistled them back to her. Others took up the whistle while the tribe turned and began to head back to the other path. There was a small knot of three people who looked like they were struggling. Two men were dragging away a woman who looked ready to try to leap across the twenty foot or more gap. Grandmother stepped through the crowd to the foot of the ruined bridge.

    She only whistled one thing after pricking both her wrists with a prayer needle and letting the blood fall onto the ruined bridge below.

    Pray.

 Ch. 20: Questions

    Fellen stared across the gap until the whole tribe disappeared around the corner. After Grandmother turned away, I placed my own attention on the path ahead. It continued straight and flat for about 50 feet before sloping down to the right. If it continued in that direction there was a chance that it would connect with the main path¡ªnot that I could remember every twist and turn of that path, but following it as best we could would give us the highest chance of making it out of Flickermark. We also only had a few more hours before the sky lightened too much for us to make out the stars.

    To her credit, Fellen wasn¡¯t crying when I turned back to her. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, but she knew it wouldn¡¯t be smart to waste time crying now. She dashed the tears that threatened to fall and asked, ¡°What do we do now?¡±

    I took off my pack and started to take things out. ¡°What Rawley said. We¡¯ll make it out of here, follow their tracks, and catch back up to the tribe. First, though, we need to compare what we have.¡± Fellen didn¡¯t move. ¡°Quickly! There¡¯s only so much starlight left.¡±

    All in all, our supplies were meager. Apprentices, and children in general, weren¡¯t expected to carry a lot in case they slowed down the tribe. As I had thought, our food was insufficient. I had a small pouch of dried berries and Fellen had a bit of dried fish. We normally counted on food coming from the cooks. We had more water than I thought¡ªboth waterskins were about 3/4 full¡ªas the tribe had used the waterfall Rawley had found to replenish the water supply, but we no longer had the thirst quenching fruits and vegetables the tribe used to prolong that supply. If we were disciplined we could probably only make our current amount last for two days, at most. We both had our slings and stone pouches with five stones each as well as our eating knifes. Two bedrolls, two small blankets, two balls of wool thread and sewing needles, two cloaks, two small rolls of emergency bandages, two prayer needles, two small plates. Fellen had a spare dress and gloves. I had three arm lengths of spare leather cord. Other than we had the clothes on our backs and our packs.

    We would need to find more food, fuel to cook it, water, and shelter as we went. As we put our supplies away Fellen and I compared our ability to navigate. I had the better memory to remember where we came from, but Nole had taught her a couple more of the constellations. I had knowledge about different myths connected to some of the constellations and stars, but the ability to point out those constellations had not been deemed important for those lessons. Nor was Fellen¡¯s knowledge much beyond the basics that had been ingrained in us when we were really young¡ªuse landmarks, the twin stars mark the east, stick close to a river or stream if lost¡ªand those basics were nearly useless in Flickermark. Depending on the paths we took we might not be able to see the constellations she knew.

    I kept my ball of woolen thread out. ¡°I¡¯ll knot this for the different turns we take. You do your best to follow the stars.¡±

    She nodded, face grimmer than I had ever seen it. ¡°I¡¯ll try.¡±

    I had to clamp my lips together to keep from saying, Don¡¯t try¡ªjust do it! as I gestured for her to take the lead. She did before she paused to look back.

    Her voice was soft when she spoke, ¡°Thanks for saving me.¡± She hesitated before adding more strongly, ¡°But don¡¯t grab my hair again! I think you pulled some out!¡±

    She ran a hand over her right braid as if to smooth away lingering pain even though I knew it couldn¡¯t still hurt.

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°I¡¯ll grab your hair again if it means saving you from breaking your neck and back.¡± I made a sharp gesture to the path ahead. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡± Fellen shook her head as if trying to clear it. ¡°Okay.¡±

    The path did continue down to the right after we went around the first corner, but after a bit it leveled off and turned left. My best guess was that it was running adjacent to the main path. When the path we were on curved farther to the left and then split into a series of smaller paths we did our best to pick paths that kept us on the northern end of Flickermark. The last thing we wanted was to end up stumbling into a bane pack¡¯s territory or one of the other predators that fought for dominance in the ravines. There were still predators and other animals in the northern side of Flickermark but, from what we could tell, they were smaller and less temperamental than those closer to the Statue Garden.

    As we went I also kept my eye out for conditions that would point to the growth of various edible plants as well as the plants themselves. There was food in Flickermark if you knew where to look for it. Fellen didn¡¯t object to the use of my knowledge even though I didn¡¯t doubt that she knew I couldn¡¯t have learned it all from Rawley in the past few months. We needed food and I wasn¡¯t gathering the plants for healing, so she did her best to help me gather what I found without comment. If we had been at Gabbler Shore or in the hills, she probably would have been able to find her own share too. A part of me had balked at using the healer¡¯s knowledge so soon after being told not to cling to what I didn¡¯t have, but the larger part of me understood that not starving held priority. Besides, it was my knowledge and it would be idiotic of me to purposefully not use all the resources I had at my disposal.

    Those first few hours before dawn went as well as could be expected. We got lucky in that a few of the different paths we followed, we could see the twin stars over the lip of the ravines, and by tracking the corners and turns we had taken we thought we were still near Flickermark¡¯s northern edge¡ªthough we never made it back onto the main path the tribe had taken the past two times we passed through that we could tell. We added several handfuls of edible flowers and moss to our food supply. There had also been a shaded pod crawler climbing up the side of one of the ravine walls. We peeled open the oval pods and ate the sticky insides there rather than risk one getting split open in our packs and ruining our other supplies. Besides, once we ate our fill there weren¡¯t any more pods within reach.

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    We holed up in one of small nooks that pocked the sides of the ravines once we lost what help we could glean from the stars to the brightening sky. I took first watch as Fellen curled up on her pallet, but she didn¡¯t fall asleep right away.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    I kept my gaze on the path in case anything came near. Most of the animals in Flickermark were nocturnal, but it didn¡¯t hurt to be careful. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Why did you make it so that you went onto the bridge first? It wasn¡¯t to just to win the contest, was it?¡±

    ¡°Going first was supposed to be the more dangerous position. Not that it turned out that way.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± I heard her shift a bit. ¡°But you don¡¯t like me. And that sounds like you were protecting me.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Just because I don¡¯t like you, it doesn¡¯t mean I want you dead.¡±

    Her tone turned defensive. ¡°You didn¡¯t think I could make it off the bridge if something went wrong?¡±

    ¡°Whatever I thought doesn¡¯t matter now.¡±

    More movement and I felt her hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me. ¡°I want to know!¡± There was a pause and then her hand clamped tighter on my shoulder. ¡°Did you know something was going to go wrong?¡±

    Her hand wasn¡¯t enough to move me, but my incredulity was. ¡±No! If I had known that why would I have even stepped onto the bridge? Why would we be in this mess?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know! Maybe you thought we could make it back to the tribe and you wanted to prove you were better than me by making it back from the middle of the bridge.¡±

    I sighed and shrugged off her hand. ¡°Do you really think I¡¯d do something that stupid?¡±

    She glared at me. ¡°Well, it makes more sense than you going first to protect me. You don¡¯t protect other people.¡± Fellen took advantage of the pause throwing that in my face had created to add, ¡°And even if you did, I don¡¯t need help from you. I¡¯m going to beat you fair and square.¡±

    That gave me something to latch onto. ¡°You can¡¯t beat me fair and square if you¡¯re dead!¡±

    ¡°And what makes you so sure I would die and not you? I could have gone first and had the same chance as you.¡±

    ¡°No, you couldn¡¯t.¡± The certainty in my voice made her pause. ¡°Going out onto that bridge was less risky for me than it was for you. Going into any dangerous situation will always be less risky for me than it is for you.¡±

    Her posture, her tone, everything about her conveyed the idea that she was determined to prove me wrong. ¡°How do you know?¡±

    I was so used to not talking about my blessing, to thinking about my mark without associating it with the power that came with it¡ªtrying my best to blend in with everyone else so that maybe I would be treated like the twins¡ªthat it felt odd to come right out and say what it did. But I was Gimley now and with that name came ownership of my blessing. I couldn¡¯t very well be the whisper woman known for her mark if I never told anyone what it did.

    So I looked Fellen right in the eyes and told her. ¡°My blessing doesn¡¯t let me die.¡± She blinked rapidly and what I said didn¡¯t fully seem to sink in, so I said it again after I pulled up my skirt to reveal my mark. I pointed at the seven black diamonds. ¡°My blessing doesn¡¯t let me die.¡±

    She shook her head and scooted back a little. ¡°But that¡­¡± She lost her words and had to try again. ¡°Why would the goddess give you something that goes against Her own aspect?¡±

    I shrugged, trying to make it seem more nonchalant than lost as I covered my leg again. ¡°She¡¯s a goddess. I don¡¯t think we¡¯re meant to understand all of Her choices.¡±

    Fellen mulled that over for several long minutes before another thought occurred to her. ¡°How do you know that¡¯s your blessing?¡± I gave her the briefest account of when I had lain sick with infection and the goddess averted Her gaze. It only seemed to help Fellen latch onto her idea even more. ¡°But how do you know it doesn¡¯t only apply to infections or that She¡¯ll only avert Her gaze a certain number of times? If you get trapped under an icy lake and can¡¯t breathe, will you survive even though there¡¯s no way for you get air? What if you get crushed?¡± I saw another line of questioning spark before I had a chance to answer the first. ¡°Of course, the goddess wouldn¡¯t give you a blessing that heals, but does that mean if you fell from the bridge you would have been permanently crippled even if you couldn¡¯t die? Would you survive even if you were bleeding out or if a bane pack tore out your throat? What about old age?¡±

    I felt doubt uncurl in my gut and tangle with the certainty I had felt about my blessing when the goddess continued to avert Her gaze during my illness, so instead of answering I turned Fellen¡¯s point back on her. ¡°How do you know you¡¯re a Spark? How do you you can¡¯t make more fire at a time or do other tricks with it?¡±

    The defensiveness returned. ¡°I just do.¡±

    I nodded, and ignored the seed of doubt. Even if there were limits to my blessing that I didn¡¯t know about, there was nothing I could about it other than attempt to die in a multitude of ways and see if any of them stuck. And doing something that stupid did nothing to get me closer to my goal. ¡°It¡¯s the same for me. My mark doesn¡¯t let me die.¡±

    She connected the pieces. ¡°So you thought it would be better for you to go first on the bridge? Because even if something went wrong and you fell, you would survive?¡±

    I turned back to the path. ¡°Like I said, you can¡¯t beat me if you¡¯re dead. Not that I¡¯ll let you win anyway.¡±

    ¡°But you can still get hurt.¡± Concern. Something I never thought I¡¯d hear directed at me from Fellen.

    ¡°Go to sleep, Fellen. The longer you stay up the longer it is until I get to sleep.¡± Side stepping that field of traps was for the best.

    She stayed where she was sitting. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°Go to sleep or I will¡ªand you can take first watch.¡±

    Fellen mumbled something that sounded like a curse before she moved away and I heard her lay back down. I think it took her a long time to fall sleep, so I didn¡¯t wake her up even when sunlight filled the ravine. My eyes might have been gritty, but it was easier to plan for Fellen¡¯s potential reactions to me when she got up, and for the journey ahead, rather than lay down and try to relax enough to sleep.

 Ch. 21: Small Trials

    Fellen and I did eventually switch roles. She wasn¡¯t happy when she learned I let her sleep in, and we both used that to distract from the uncomfortable conversation we had before she fell asleep. I could tell she wasn¡¯t sure how to address what she learned. After all, if I was right about my blessing and she still took into account the healer¡¯s beads I had worn for most of my life, then I was the most life-ridden person she had ever known and Fellen should have no association with me in case I drew the goddess¡¯s eye. But we also needed each other to find our way out of Flickermark and there was the possibility that since the blessing was a gift of the goddess that canceled out the dangers of the life given with it. Nor did I have my healer¡¯s beads any longer, so the life I had collected through using the healer¡¯s craft should be slowly ebbing away. In the end, Fellen decided to ignore the issue all together.

    When she heard me getting up after a handful of rough hours of sleep, she stated her decision quite clearly. ¡°I don¡¯t think the goddess would give you a blessing that would deny one Her aspects. Perhaps that time when you were sick was a fluke or your¡ªthe healer really is that skilled. So I¡¯m going to treat you the same until there¡¯s proof that your blessing is what you say it is.¡±

    She was still stubbornly clinging to our rivalry then. I let her. Just because I was owning up to my blessing didn¡¯t mean everyone else was going to accept it with open arms. I already had one prime example of that. Fellen, at least, was trying to live up to her aspirations of being a burr despite what she had learned.

    We didn¡¯t wait for the sun to go down before we got moving. Daylight hours were when the nocturnal animals that populated Flickermark were the most lethargic and thus, when we had the highest chance of a successful hunt. We did keep to one path though, and only went around a handful of corners both ways to keep from straying too far in a direction. I kept track of our progress with the knots and we left a bit of leather in the nook we had slept in to help orient us when we passed it. With those precautions we didn¡¯t get lost, but we also didn¡¯t catch anything. Our lack of experience showed through¡ªneither Fellen nor I had been deemed ready to take on a hunting expedition back at Gabbler Shore, much less Flickermark. We hadn¡¯t even gotten to go fishing with the huntresses in the lake. Apparently, spears came after slings in the lone huntress training regimen as spear fishing was better suited to the Pack¡ªNole was the exception.

    During the couple hours we tried to hunt we only spotted two different animals. Both in the second hour. The first was a lizard sunning itself on a rock that I spotted, but Fellen fumbled when she went to put a stone in her sling. Both the clatter of the rock and its echo scared the lizard into hiding before I got to throw my stone. Fellen nearly redeemed herself with the second one. She stopped me as we were rounding a corner and pointed out a small mole that had poked his way through a dirt patch and was snuffling around. She didn¡¯t fumble her stone that time and sent it shooting through the air after a few twirls of her sling for power and speed. Her shot went wide by a few inches though, and the mole disappeared back down its tunnel in the next instant.

    We rested for the remainder of the time until the stars shone through the tail ends of dusk, quieting our stomachs with a few small sips of water and Fellen¡¯s dried fish. There was only enough for a few bites each, but we didn¡¯t complain. There wasn¡¯t much point.

    That night went more poorly than the first. As the night continued wisps of clouds began to cover the stars and block the moonlight. If we had been with the tribe they wouldn¡¯t have caused that much trouble, unless we had gone very off course, with the maps and compiled knowledge of the huntresses to guide us. They could compare all the constellations they saw to figure out where to go, but as it was it seemed at least half time the ones Fellen knew got obscured. Which left us with the options of wasting time waiting for the clouds to clear when we came upon new paths so we could check which way to go or guessing and going ahead anyway. Both options had the possibility of us not making it out Flickermark before the cold season hit along with the danger of starvation and dehydration. In about a day, our meager resources were already almost cut in half despite us rationing our water and doing my best to find things for us to eat.

    We weren¡¯t consistent. Debates did happen every time we reached a new split in the path, but we didn¡¯t consistently choose to press on or wait. Often I was the one in favor of waiting while Fellen was eager to press on and leave¡ªin her words¡ªthe oppressive quiet of Flickermark behind. If it looked like the clouds would pass soon, I would win the argument, but there were times when they took too long and Fellen reached the end of her patience. It got shorter as the night wore on. Then she would pick a path to march down and my choice became to join her or let us split up. I could have pressed her on it, called her bluff, but the rumors of Flickermark¡¯s changing paths and confusion tactics encouraged me to keep her insight. We had a better chance together.

    Those weren¡¯t the only times we had to pick a path based only my recording of the turns we¡¯d taken and our intuition. Sometimes the walls of the ravines blocked out all of the constellations Fellen knew or we could see them, but none of our options curved in the right direction. All we had then was guesswork and Fellen often deferred the decision to me. When she wasn¡¯t being impatient, she recognized that I had the better eye to notice the small details that indicated which paths might have water or food even if she didn¡¯t like to admit it out loud.

    On one of the paths I picked we did find a few scraggly bushes that we cut up and stored in our packs for firewood. They would burn well unlike the shaded pod crawler we had found the night before.

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    We found another nook to settle into in the morning and I took first watch again. Our next two days fell into the same pattern. First watch for me, second for Fellen, then two or three hours spent hunting before we rested until night came. Then we did our best to travel in an easterly direction until dawn. We found a small stream tucked into the side of a path on the third day and, after we refilled our waterskins, we followed it for as long as we could before it disappeared into a crack in the ravine¡¯s wall. On the fourth, I got my first kill. Fellen and I had been about to finish our hunt empty handed when we heard the familiar trills of cliff singers, small gray and white birds that had liked to nest on the upper reaches of the bluffs at Gabbler Shore toward the end of the warm season. The trills echoed through the ravines, so we didn¡¯t doubt that other predators would be coming to try to get their fill, but with a silent look we both agreed at the insistence of our rumbling stomachs to risk it and leave our designated path. The birds quieted down as we drew close, but they didn¡¯t fly off. It took us a bit to pick them out in the fading light against the gray stone they blended in so well with. The birds were high up on the ravine¡¯s wall, perched on little lips of stone and wedged in holes that couldn¡¯t be bigger than two fists put together. We crouched behind a bulge in the ravine wall. Readied our slings with as little movement and sound as possible. Stepped out from behind our cover as we twirled our slings and released. Both shots missed, but the sound of the rocks hitting the wall scared the birds, and it looked like a gray cloud lifted from the the wall. I got another shot off before they all flew away and managed to hit one. The cliff singer fell and broke its neck¡ªnot the clean, beautiful shot I had wanted for my first kill.

    Still, we finally had more meat even if the bird¡¯s size would largely amount to the same situation we had with Fellen¡¯s dried fish. As quickly as we could, we collected the bird and our stones before trying to make our way back to our nook, but we must have gotten turned around because we couldn¡¯t find it. So, we did our best to put some distance between where the birds had been¡ªhoping to avoid any predators that had woken up and decided to go hunting¡ªwhile looking for another nook. We found one and Fellen used the twigs we had gathered to make a small fire while I plucked the bird. Night fell as we roasted and ate it.

    That marked the start of us being completely lost¡ªwithout even the idea of how to get back to where we started. I would never admit it to Fellen, but a part of me worried that I had missed marking a turn in the excitement of finding the birds. Not that I needed to say it out loud¡ªthe worry and suspicion was in her eyes as well.

    She started to check whether I had made a knot in the thread when we rounded a corner or sometimes she would bluntly ask about the type of knot I had made. It quickly ground my patience down. We had just navigated a quick series of twists and turns and were trying to decide between following the path we were on or continuing on the offshoot we had found when I caught her once again glancing at my hands and the way we had come, mentally comparing the turns to the number of knots from the last time she checked two turns ago.

    ¡°Maybe if you paid more attention to the sky than my hands you would know which to go!¡±

    Fellen snapped her gaze up to glare me. Evidently, her patience was at its end too. ¡°Well, maybe if you hadn¡¯t miss marking a corner we would be at spot that¡¯s easier to see the constellations I know!¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°I never said I missed a corner! Besides, all you have to do is stare at stars. I¡¯m keeping track of where we¡¯ve been and finding food and water. Half the time I¡¯m also the one who has to decide which way we go because you can¡¯t see anything useful anyway.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you shouldn¡¯t be in charge of all that then, since you seem to be doing a pretty poor job of it.¡± She held her hand out for the ball of woolen thread.

    I ignored the gesture. ¡°You can¡¯t blame me for the lack of resources in Flickermark.¡±

    Fellen held firm. ¡°The animals seem to do well enough. If you can¡¯t find what they can, maybe I should give it a try.¡±

    ¡°You know that¡¯s stupid. Just figure out which way we should go, so we can keep moving.¡±

    ¡°I just told you: I can¡¯t tell if that bunch of stars is the Hawk¡¯s beak or not, so I don¡¯t know which way to go!¡±

    I rolled my eyes and was about to retort back at her when a sound caught my attention. I held a hand up and Fellen clamped whatever she had also been about to say behind her lips. In the quiet that suffused Flickermark we both heard the tiniest scraping sound from the way we had come. We held still, desperate to not give ourselves away while also straining to see what was coming. The scraping sound grew louder until it morphed into a long scrape with a quiet thump at the end, like when one of the huntresses had broken her leg last year and limped along for months afterward.

    Something moved at the last corner.

    Fellen and I both took an involuntary step back when we saw it.

    Bipedal, with gray skin that blended well with the night and that stretched gauntly over its bones. Its eyes and mouth were voids of deep black with edges that cracked into the skin. No hair, no clothes, no identifying features, except for the overall nightmare image of a corpse lurching its way toward us.

    A shamble man.

    If it touched us it was said that we would bear the goddess¡¯s curse as well and that when we died, even when our tribe lit our funeral pyres, we wouldn¡¯t burn. Instead, we would be locked within the Carver¡¯s Maze for eternity, without even the barest chance of earning the goddess¡¯s mercy as her servants. Doubly cursed and punished. Another myth whispered that if you gazed too long at where a shamble man¡¯s eyes were supposed to be, it could suck out your soul in an attempt to replace its own, but it wouldn¡¯t be able to keep it, and your soul would be locked away in the Ever Dark. What was left got instantly transformed into a shamble man. More myths crowded my mind as the shamble man drew closer¡ªmany warning of terrible fates that occurred because someone came in contact with a shamble man or someone wasn¡¯t burned and became one or because someone betrayed the goddess and She cursed them as She had those that had wished Grislander into being.

    Its head cocked to the side as it took another step forward. Fellen yelped; I shook. Our hands found each other. And when it started to reach a hand out¡ªwe fled. In that moment it didn¡¯t matter which path we took, all that mattered was that we got away. Stars forgotten, knots forgotten, we fled deeper into Flickermark¡¯s depths.

 Ch. 22: A Flashback and a Prayer

    We didn¡¯t stop running until Flickermark forced us to. A dead end. The path we were following narrowed gradually until it became an earth and stone wall blocking our way. Dead ends weren¡¯t uncommon in Flickermark, but with the tribe we generally were able to avoid them unless they came in the form of rock falls. During the past few days, Fellen and I had encountered a handful of them, but then we had an idea of which path to go back to and try based on where we had been.

    This path had dove downward, so that our momentum nearly sent us crashing into the wall, and there was only a thin strip of stars overhead. From what I had learned of the constellations Fellen knew, the strip wasn¡¯t enough to guide us, and the woolen thread dangled from my fingertips, unknotted during our mad dash from the shamble man. My memory of the corners we took was vague at best with more attention paid to if I could hear the shamble man¡¯s uneven footsteps, rather the direction we went or the paths we bypassed to get here. I wrinkled my nose in irritation as I realized the only certainty I had was that we had turned right onto this path and it had taken five or so minutes to reach the dead end.

    Fellen sank down onto the ground as we both tried to catch our breath. The fear that the shamble man might round one of the shallow bends the path took kept me from doing the same, but I still had to lean forward and support my weight by resting my hands on my knees. We stared at each other wide-eyed before flicking our gaze up to check the path.

    ¡°Do you think it followed us?¡± Fellen asked.

    ¡°I¡­¡± I checked the path again. ¡°Even if it did, they¡¯re slow. We shouldn¡¯t stay here though, just in case.¡±

    She nodded and stood back up. ¡°That was my first time seeing one. Up close.¡±

    ¡°Same.¡±

    We had both seen them as gray blobs in the distance when the tribe rounded the Statue Garden, but it was a vastly different experience to have one of those resolve itself into a corpse lurching its way toward you. We didn¡¯t hold hands again as we crept our way back up the path, but we did keep closer together than we ever had previously. I did my best to keep in the front without Fellen noticing. I doubted my blessing would offer me much more protection than her when it came to a shamble man, but it was something, and if I was in front I had a better view to figure out where we should go.

    Nothing appeared to block our way before we reached the beginning of the dead end path. I cut the long string of knots from my ball of woolen thread¡ªnow much diminished¡ªso that I could start a new strand without getting them confused. We had the two basic choices of going left or right. Back the way we came or further into the unknown. Considering that the first choice left us with a better chance of running into the shamble man again, and it was nearly as unknown as if we continued on, it wasn¡¯t difficult to make our choice. I knotted the string as we turned right.

    This path also narrowed quickly, so that we couldn¡¯t walk side by side, but it didn¡¯t turn into a dead end. I hated how it narrowed my field of vision though, especially when it sometimes narrowed to the point that we had to shuffle sideways for a few long minutes before it opened up again. If anything came after us we would be little better than fish funneled into a trap. A couple times, I led us onto new paths simply because they had more breathing room.

    When we came upon a small rock fall, I stopped. Not because it was blocking our way¡ªit wasn¡¯t, not completely. It looked like a majority of the stones had gotten stuck between the walls of the ravine, and I could see an opening under the first rock that we could crawl through. But it was cramped and, just looking at it caused the claustrophobic feeling I had been holding at bay to clamp down. My whole body weight felt suddenly doubled as my attention focused on the dark opening and my mind conjured an image of all the stones collapsing down onto me. Fellen¡¯s gaze crawled across my back, and then I was back in the store, Mother¡¯s second look of disappointment searing my back, with no way out except to turn and bolt past her through the tent opening. And that wasn¡¯t an option. It was never an option, no matter how hard I tried to please her, or how badly I wanted to just be outside the tent. I wouldn¡¯t even complain if she had me count seeds again, if I got to do it outside.

    But all I got to see was the tent walls, pressing in on all sides, round on the outside wall where the skins stretched around the supporting sticks, and flat in the middle where the divider hung to split Mother¡¯s store from the family side of the tent. I knew every inch of them. Knew how they shifted and strained during a storm, the way they muffled the twins¡¯ giggling laughter, the exact number of patients we could fit inside¡ªsitting, standing, and laying down. I couldn¡¯t escape them, just like I couldn¡¯t escape Mother¡¯s critical gaze and her lectures and her disappointment, day after day. I couldn¡¯t even look forward to meal times, because then I had to contend with the crowd of tribe members and the oppressive weight of their judgmental looks. Plus, meal times never lasted long enough for me to truly enjoy being outside the tent before I had to go back inside.

    Mother clicked her tongue, and I froze. A lecture about the importance of discipline and how I had made her waste valuable time, was imminent. I had taken too long to answer a question, and by the way she was gripping my arm, it had been a simple one. A lecture and a spanking then. I needed to focus, needed to get the timing of my apology right and remember the answer to the question, so I would know it when she inevitably asked again. So she wouldn¡¯t decide to not teach me for a few days out of spite like she had before. Learning was the best escape I had.

    As Mother began to berate me, I noticed her voice sounded wrong and then her voice morphed until I finally recognized Fellen¡¯s voice whispering my name and asking what was wrong. I used her voice to ground myself, and slowly, painfully, pull myself out of the memory of the tent and her disapproval. When my vision cleared, and all I was left with was the discomfort of the ravine walls around me, I closed my eyes so I couldn¡¯t see the stupid tunnel and held myself rigidly way from the walls even though the exhaustion pulling at my limbs urged me to slump against one. I couldn¡¯t risk inciting another flashback. I also became aware that the hand on my arm was Fellen¡¯s.

    Voice thin, I hissed at her. ¡°Let me go.¡±

    She did, startled. ¡°What happened?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer her. It took enough effort to keep reminding myself that walls around me were ravine walls, not tent walls, and that there were stars above me that I could see if I chose. She was nowhere near, she wasn¡¯t my mother anymore, I had a new name and she had no hold over me. I could go and explore and learn what I wanted.

    I felt Fellen¡¯s hand inching near to touch me again. ¡°Don¡¯t touch me.¡±

    She snatched her hand back and asked again, urgent, ¡°What happened? What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    I had a choice to answer her or not. My choice. This time I did dredge up the energy to respond, if only to make my recovery easier. ¡°I remembered something¡­unpleasant. I need a bit of time to recover and then we should go back the way we came.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± I could almost feel her remembering my last interaction with the healer and trying to puzzle out how a memory could have such a strong effect and what triggered it. ¡°Okay.¡±

    At least she didn¡¯t press me on my sudden change of plans. I trained my gaze up onto the sky above and rubbed my hands together, breathing in the cool night air slowly, in and out, to ground myself further in the moment. I¡¯m not sure how long it took before I turned my head toward Fellen and flicked my chin forward to get her moving. ¡°Let¡¯s go. I want out of these narrow passages as soon as possible.¡±

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    She went, but I saw the barely suppressed questions clamped behind her teeth before she turned her head. Even if I managed to put her off for the rest of the night, I doubted she would be able to put off waiting for answers before the next. I distracted myself by developing answers that might satisfy her curiosity without endangering myself as we twisted our way back down the path and through several more. A short while later, we finally reached a ravine that opened up wide enough that we could stand shoulder to shoulder four times over and not touch both walls.

    It wasn¡¯t perfect, but it was enough for me to breath a sigh of relief.

    --

    We continued on throughout the rest of night without anything exciting happening. I managed to scrounge up some edible moss that was hiding underneath various rocks and ledges. It was gritty and tasted like dirt, but it was better than nothing. We weren¡¯t able to find a good nook to tuck into during the day, so instead we settled in the straightest bit of path that we could find, so that we had more warning if anything came near.

    As dawn began to light up the sky we heeded Grandmother¡¯s last bit of advice and prayed. We had put off praying before in case we brought the goddess¡¯s attention to us, however slim of a chance that was. We didn¡¯t need the bad luck that often came with Her attention¡ªonly huntresses and Grandmothers wanted Her gaze on them as She had reason to look on them favorably and grant them good luck. If She paid attention to anyone else is likely because they had earned Her ire.

    But we couldn¡¯t thank Her for Her averted gaze after being confronted with a shamble man. That was one of Her creatures, through and through, and a sure sign that She had at least the tiniest portion of Her gaze on us. So this time we prayed for the next best thing: to appease Her and hope She forgot us. Flickermark was difficult enough without having to worry about accidentally offending the goddess. Now we needed our prayer to reach Her, so She wouldn¡¯t think we were ignoring Her when the goddess deigned to watch us. Of course, there was also the worry that our prayer of appeasement would get lost in the jumble without Grandmother to guide it to the goddess¡¯s ears, but we had to do what we could.

    Fellen and I faced each other, kneeling, as we each pricked our respective marks and let the blood fall down onto Flickermark¡¯s floor. Then we did our best to emulate Grandmother.

    Fellen started the prayer. ¡°We gift this blood to the Goddess so that She does not have to take in the coming days. May it grant Her strength.¡±

    ¡°We only aim to pass through this holy place while honoring the memory of the Beloved¡¯s trial here. May your bond last eternal.¡±

    We pricked our marks again and said the last part in unison. ¡°These lowly girls give our blood in offering. Do you accept?¡±

    The drops of blood soaked into the ground as we anxiously watched them. I could feel my heart in my throat when they didn¡¯t flake away after counting to thirty and then sixty. Our offering hadn¡¯t been accepted, if it had reached the goddess at all.

    Fellen met my gaze, fear plain on her face and in her posture. ¡°What do we do now?¡±

    I did my best not to show my own worry. ¡°We try again.¡±

    We repeated the prayer, but the new drops of blood didn¡¯t disappear anymore than the first drops had. We were about to try the prayer one last time when I felt the ground shift behind me, something rustled, and a shadow passed over us.

    Fellen stared past me, slack jawed and pale as bone. I twisted around to see that a six foot pine tree had risen up from the ground behind me¡ªand there hadn¡¯t even been a sapling there before. One of the goddess¡¯s favored trees. My expression was quick to mirror Fellen¡¯s as horror and awe both fought for dominance in my chest.

    Then two hands appeared from the shadow the tree cast as a whisper woman pulled herself up to sit on its edge like it was the lip of a pool and she was resting her feet in its depths. She had short, straight ash brown hair that went barely past her chin and warm beige skin, something I had only seen in a couple tribes before. Her mark was a combination of swirls that covered the left side of her neck and the lower part of her cheek and she was young. Like she had only graduated from the Seedling Palace in the last year or two. The whisper woman wore a dark blue jacket trimmed with dark fur that fell just past her hips over a long dress, and the jacket was held closed by a white belt about four fingers wide that had a pattern of gray pine tress. The dress¡¯s design looked like a whirling gray and black mist that blended well with the tree¡¯s shadow.

    She eyed how close our prayer needles were to our marks. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t do that again if I was you. The goddess doesn¡¯t take kindly to those who try to get Her attention through quantity over quality.¡± Two prayer needles clattered to the ground. She watched us, nonchalant, as if trees grew from nothing and whisper women appeared from their shadows everyday. ¡°Well, a bit of blood wasn¡¯t going to sate Her anyway. You piqued Her interest. Two girls trying to follow in the Beloved¡¯s footsteps through Flickermark all on their own? Doesn¡¯t happen often.¡± She held up a hand. ¡°But the only way you can truly honor the Beloved¡¯s trial here is to complete it as she did.¡± She outstretched her hand. ¡°You¡¯re to give me everything but the dresses you¡¯re wearing.¡±

    I swallowed, wanting to protest, knowing we needed what meager supplies we had, but was unable to find the words in what was an obvious display of the goddess¡¯s power. When I met Fellen¡¯s gaze, as we began to hand over our packs and supplies, she also looked conflicted between awe and fear. The whisper woman slung our packs over her shoulders before gesturing to our belts and feet.

    ¡°I¡¯ll need your cloaks, eating knifes, slings, and stones as well. And your shoes. The Beloved might have had to make her journey alone, but given that you both are so young, the goddess will allow you to stay together.¡±

    The prospect of losing our tools for hunting and protection got both Fellen and I to speak up at the same time. I said, ¡°But what about the animals? They weren¡¯t here before,¡± while Fellen asked, ¡°Why?¡±

    The whisper woman shrugged. ¡°You prayed to the goddess; this is Her answer. Besides, the goddess is already giving you one small mercy¡ªI wouldn¡¯t be so quick to beg for another unless you want to attempt the trial on your own. If you want your belongings back make it to the Grove. But also know that if you take the exit, you¡¯ll have failed in your goal to honor the Beloved.¡±

    She held her hand out again insistingly. We gave her everything but the dresses on our backs. There wasn¡¯t much choice unless we wanted to risk angering the goddess.

    Fellen pressed her lips together before hesitantly speaking up while the whisper woman got our stuff situated. ¡°What if we can¡¯t make it to the Grove?¡±

    The whisper woman looked up from shoving my cloak in Fellen¡¯s bag. ¡°Then I guess you failed or died and you weren¡¯t worth a fraction of the effort it took Her to grow this tree and bring me here.¡± She got the cloak in the bag and seemed to listen to the air for a moment before grinning at us. ¡°Don¡¯t just follow the obvious paths.¡±

    And then she pushed herself off, into the tree¡¯s shadow, and she was gone. Fellen and I stared after her for several long minutes before Fellen said what we were both feeling.

    ¡°I hate this.¡± She started to cry. ¡°I hate this!¡±

    I didn¡¯t know what to do. I could feel the cold numbness slipping in again¡ªlike I was watching the situation happen to someone else. It was all a little too much. Getting separated and needing to survive on our own in Flickermark; the shamble man quickly followed by my flashback; and now having all our supplies taken from us by decree of the goddess. I wanted Rawley or even Grandmother. They would know what to do. They wouldn¡¯t break from the strain. All I could do was shift closer to Fellen and awkwardly pat her on the back. In a distant way, I was surprised I wasn¡¯t crying too, but ever since I pictured freezing my tears and shattering the frozen sack I put them in, it felt like I had forgotten how to cry.

    After a long while Fellen looked up at me, eyes red and swollen. ¡°What are we going to do?¡±

    I looked down the path we were on. ¡°Keep going.¡±

    ¡°And if we get attacked?¡±

    ¡°We run.¡±

    Fellen brought her knees up to her chin. ¡°Do you think they made it out by now? The tribe?¡±

    I blinked and opened my mouth to answer before closing it again. I hadn¡¯t thought to wonder about how the tribe was doing since we got separated from them.

    Fellen answered her own question. ¡°I think they are. Or if they¡¯re not, they will be soon. They¡¯ll finish the last few days of the run without any picker bands sneaking in and stealing their stuff. They¡¯ll arrive at Grislander¡¯s Maw, everyone safe and sound, and they¡¯ll get the spot next to the waterfall. Ma¡¯ll finish weaving the blanket she was making for me, and when we get there too she¡¯ll give me a hug before wrapping me in it. Nole will praise us for surviving on our own and advance my apprenticeship. Then we¡¯ll get to enjoy the cold season¡¯s celebrations and I¡¯ll beat you in so many contests that you¡¯ll never be able to make a comeback.¡±

    Her words sounded both like a dream and a promise. I didn¡¯t say anything. If that was what was going to keep her from crumbling, then it was better for her to keep believing in it. A gust of wind cut through the ravine and we both shivered. Reluctantly, but knowing it was the smart thing to do, I held my arm open without looking at her. I felt Fellen eye me warily for a few moments before shifting closer and I wrapped my arm around her. She feel asleep against my side as I took first watch.

 Ch. 23: A Worthy Rival

    After I uncurled from my uncomfortable spot on the ground and Fellen let me know that her watch had been uneventful, we started walking. Her demeanor was more brusque than it normally was, but I didn¡¯t comment on it. The night¡¯s events and bad sleep had shortened my temper as well.

    We didn¡¯t try to hunt. Without our slings it was practically impossible to catch and kill one of the speedy inhabitants of Flickermark, and the effort would have wasted more energy than the food gave. Instead, I focused on finding plants for us to gather and eat as well as signs of water we could reach. We didn¡¯t stay in a designated area until the sun fell. Finding food and water, now that we no longer had the bit that we gathered or a way to take water with us, became more pressing. Fellen¡¯s knowledge was also sparse enough that during the night before we had to rely more on my knots in the thread than on the constellations we could see. The constellations she knew mainly spanned the eastern sky, so they were little help in guiding us to the south¡ªnow that we had to find our way to the Statue Garden¡ªother than as a reference that if a path that we were following pointed towards them we were no longer going the correct way. Heading south meant we would more than likely end up entering a bane pack¡¯s territory and both of us also silently hoped that if we did so in the daylight, we would have a better chance of slipping past the nocturnal creatures.

    Nor did we give up navigation completely. We gathered what small rocks and pebbles we could find and used them to mark which way we went whenever we reached a new pathway. It didn¡¯t help us that much going forward, but if we ever needed to backtrack we wouldn¡¯t be completely lost. It was odd traveling deeper into Flickermark with the sunlight lighting up the ravines¡¯ sharp edges around us and without the stars creating a second path overhead. Harsher. It made it more difficult to focus on the bit of the maze in front of us rather than feeling the sprawl of Flickermark pressing in around us. Though the warmth of the sunlight, when in it did reach down far enough to directly fall on us, did help to combat the chill bite of the wind that gusted occasionally past.

    ¡±We should have prayed to goddess to thank Her for Her averted gaze while we had the chance.¡±

    Fellen didn¡¯t look at me as she spoke. Kept her gaze on the ground before her feet and her arms crossed in front of her chest, one hand holding a fistful of rocks. Her body slumped slightly with fatigue from sleeping poorly and the lack of food. She kept rubbing at her eyes.

    I felt the fatigue in my limbs as well. We had been pushing ourselves for days without eating nearly enough to recover the energy we spent and the cost of that was catching up with us. My mouth was dry from the lack of water, but not terrible enough that I couldn¡¯t speak.

    ¡°You know why we didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I know why you convinced me not to. We should have listened to Grandmother and prayed as soon as we stopped at the end of that first night¡ªbut oh no, we shouldn¡¯t draw attention to ourselves, let¡¯s try to slip beneath Her notice.¡± She twisted to glare at me. ¡°No one can slip beneath the goddess¡¯s notice. She¡¯s always watching! I should have listened to my gut and Grandmother and not you.¡± She didn¡¯t say it outright this time, but Fellen¡¯s meaning was clear. She should have listened to proper members of society and not someone life-ridden like me. ¡°If we had done the normal traveler¡¯s prayer we wouldn¡¯t be in this mess! We would have our slings and supplies and be headed for the exit, not walking into the most dangerous part of Flickermark empty handed with our only other choice being to risk the goddess¡¯s wrath!¡±

    ¡°Keep your voice down. Or are you trying to let all the predators in Flickermark know where we are?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m trying to say that this whole situation is stupid and it¡¯s your fault!¡±

    She wasn¡¯t looking for an apology, not exactly. Apologies were useless more often than not and only given to those with high enough status to deserve them. Giving as good as you got was more common as when Fellen punched me in retaliation and I had to make her a new sling. What she wanted was an admission of guilt and I wasn¡¯t about to give it to her. Not completely.

    I tried for a reasonable tone. ¡°Like you said, you agreed with me, so if we¡¯re in a stupid situation it¡¯s as much your fault as mine. Besides, I¡¯ve been the one keeping us alive¡ªkeeping you alive, so you have a situation to complain about instead of dying and becoming like that shambler we saw.¡±

    Fellen stomped faster down the ravine. ¡°You¡¯re the one who put that stupid line in about the Beloved¡ªif anything you¡¯re the one who doomed us!¡±

    I caught up to her. ¡°Doomed us? Don¡¯t you think that¡¯s a bit dramatic? And you could have been the one to say that line as easily as me!¡±

    She rounded on me, face blotched red. ¡°Fine. Doomed me! You know how infrequently someone completes even one trial. You can¡¯t die, right? That¡¯s what you think? So I am going to be the one who dies without ever leaving this place¡ªand you won¡¯t be able to make me a funeral pyre¡ªso I¡¯ll become a creepy shambler and I¡¯ll never be able to enter the Silver Forest!¡±

    Her words were like a physical blow to the chest. I understood that we were in dire circumstances, but I had accepted them as an inevitability and moved on. I could do something to alleviate them or I couldn¡¯t. That was it. Either we found food and water or we didn¡¯t. Either we ran into dangerous animals or we didn¡¯t. Either we made it to the Statue Garden or we didn¡¯t. I had general plans for each of the situations, but after that there wasn¡¯t any point to worrying about them further.

    For Fellen, things apparently weren¡¯t that simple. She worried and then she got dramatic and then she kept worrying until the situation wasn¡¯t a glaring possibility anymore. And losing our supplies seemed to be a breaking point for her.

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    She had stuck by me when I broke.

    I couldn¡¯t give her an admission of guilt, but I could do what she had done for me.

    ¡°Fellen.¡± I caught her gaze. ¡°You¡¯re going to prove that you¡¯re a worthy rival, right?¡±

    She blinked at the change of topic, but her heightened emotions carried her through. ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re not yet.¡± She looked like she was about to snap back a comment, so I kept going before she could. ¡°I still don¡¯t like you, but I¡¯m not going to let you die until you are¡ªand we need to have hundreds of more contests before you¡¯ll have had the chance to win enough contests to become one. You won¡¯t die in Flickermark.¡± I took her by the shoulders. ¡°I won¡¯t let you.¡±

    She didn¡¯t look convinced, but the tension running through her also seemed to deflate a bit. ¡°You can¡¯t promise that.¡±

    I dropped my hands from her shoulders and shrugged. ¡°I already did. It¡¯s not like you¡¯ll be able to become a worthy rival during the few more days, at most, we¡¯re here.¡±

    I started walking again.

    ¡°But¡ª¡± It was her turn to catch up to me. ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep finding food and water. We¡¯ll keep going south and find the entrance to the Statue Garden. We run if we met anything dangerous.¡±

    Simple and flexible and true to Rawley¡¯s lessons.

    Fellen frowned. ¡°That¡¯s not much of a plan.¡±

    ¡°The best plans aren¡¯t complicated.¡±

    She didn¡¯t look completely satisfied with that but she let it go in favor of another point. ¡°It won¡¯t take me hundreds of contests to become a worthy rival.¡±

    I made a noncommittal humming noise.

    ¡°It won¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see.¡±

    --

    It was after dusk when Fellen couldn¡¯t hold back her questions about my flashback anymore. ¡°What happened when we were in the thin ravines?¡±

    I wasn¡¯t ready to give her the whole truth, but I could give her the general gist of what had happened. ¡°I don¡¯t¡­like small spaces, and a rock fall had made it so there was only a very small opening for us to crawl through if we kept going. That reminded me of a bad experience I had and it affected me badly. So I wasn¡¯t keen on going forward.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± She thought of another question. ¡°Will it happen again?¡±

    The possibility was like a bad taste in my mouth. ¡°It might.¡±

    ¡°What should I do if it does happen again?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t touch me. But calling out to me helped. You could do that again, and then let me recover like you did before.¡± I considered before adding, ¡°There¡¯s probably not a lot more you can do.¡±

    She nodded, very serious. ¡°It was really odd. It felt like you weren¡¯t even in the ravine with me anymore.¡± Fellen hesitated before gathering up the courage to ask her next question. ¡°What was the bad experience it reminded you of?¡±

    I didn¡¯t give her any quarter with that question. ¡°A bad experience.¡±

    She pressed her lips together, but didn¡¯t press me further. I think she didn¡¯t another argument so soon after our last one. Shortly after we fell silent, I spotted a night bloomer flower growing next to the ravine wall, its large white, cone shaped petals reflecting a subtle scale-like pattern in the moonlight. A mature plant, then. Its stem and leaves looked gray in the dark, but sunlight would reveal them to be a deep purple. Night bloomers liked damp places like Hanli¡¯s Lament did, so there had to be a source of water near. The hope was that it was above ground and not below.

    I told Fellen about what the night bloomer could mean and we both started to look for other night bloomers or signs of water. As we searched our stomachs rumbled, but we couldn¡¯t eat the flower as it was poisonous unless prepped correctly, and we didn¡¯t have the necessary tools.

    Fellen spotted the second flower a little ways down the ravine, but we didn¡¯t find any other flowers in the area or signs of an above ground river. After a quarter of an hour I was ready to move on and not waste any more of our energy on something we likely couldn¡¯t reach. Night bloomer roots stretched deep. Fellen was on a mission though, and rebuffed my attempt to get us to move on. After at least another ten minutes of pacing back and forth along the same section of ravine she did find a hint of what we were looking for.

    Wide eyed, she turned to me. ¡°I can hear something rumbling.¡±

    Instantly, I was on alert. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    She turned back to the wall she standing in front of and pressed her hands against it. ¡°Not like a growl, but like¡­¡±¡ªI heard the triumphant glee in her voice as she finished her sentence¡ª¡±like a waterfall.¡±

    She glanced back to see my reaction, but I was already striding up next to her and copying her pose. It was very faint, but I feel the vibration in the stone and, when I pressed my ear to the wall, I could hear the rumble.

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t it sound like a large waterfall?¡±

    I nodded. ¡°We need to get to it. If there¡¯s a big enough waterfall that it can support the night bloomers here, it¡¯ll probably have a lot more plants around it. This probably our best chance at finding food and water.¡±

    Fellen¡¯s fingers twitched to where her sling would be. It was a nervous habit that hadn¡¯t broken even with her sling being gone. ¡°How?¡±

    I looked around us, but no path leading directly to the waterfall opened up. ¡°We follow the sound.¡±

    We began to press our ears intermittently to the ravine wall and did our best to go in a direction where the sound got louder. Often we had to back track as it turned out that instead of getting louder, the rumbling was getting fainter. That continued for the better part of an hour before we had to admit that no matter which way we went the sound didn¡¯t increase. Like I had originally thought, the waterfall¡ªand the river that fed it¡ªwere likely underground.

    We didn¡¯t have a way of reaching the waterfall. Fellen slapped her hand against the wall.

    ¡°But we need it!¡± Her voice echoed down the wide, twisty ravine we were in.

    ¡°Keep your voice down. We¡¯ll find another one, or a stream.¡±

    She made a sound somewhere between a whine and groan and started forward again. I didn¡¯t try to talk with her again; I had no desire to be snipped at. We kept going, and while I didn¡¯t find either a waterfall or a stream in another ravine I did find a shaded pod crawler. We ate our fill as we had the first night we got separated from the tribe and Fellen perked up again. The night was wearing thin at that point so we started to look for a sheltered nook to bed down in.

    In the end, we never got the chance. We had already gone further south than I thought and a low growl emanated from the shadows around us, several turns after we left the shaded pod crawler behind.

 Ch. 24: Bane Pack

    Fellen and I stepped away from the growls to put our backs against the nearest wall as the bane pack slunk out of the ravine¡¯s shadows. There was eleven of them¡ªsix blocking the way we came from and five blocking the other way. The largest was about the size of the camp dogs while the smallest was a few inches shorter. Each bane had a different pattern of thick fur on their bodies and tail that looked gray in the moonlight, but that daylight would reveal to be different variations of blond fur. They had oversized ears and long, narrow snouts with their lips pulled back in a snarl to reveal mouthfuls of sharp teeth. Fellen and I flinched back at the sight of those. We knew from our lessons that a bane¡¯s bite was venomous. The slow acting venom worked to slow you down and disorient you. For some people that was as far as the venom went before they began to recover, but for most people the venom kept working until they became paralyzed, and the venom became deadly as they lost the ability to breath. A healer could use a mixture of black powder and long grass to lessen the effects of the venom if it was still in the early stages, but more often than not those bitten couldn¡¯t get to a healer in time for the mixture to work. Of course, all of that was only possible if the bane pack didn¡¯t finish you off first.

    Quick, quiet, and nimble, chances were that if they ambushed you, you weren¡¯t getting away¡ªand if you did they would chase you until the last one dropped dead if you stayed in their territory. The bane pack knew this part of Flickermark better than we ever could. Even if we had all the maps and string knot markers we could want.

    But that didn¡¯t mean we could give up.

    I positioned myself so I was in front of Fellen and I felt one of her hands clasp the back of my dress. I still had a handful of the pebbles we had been using to mark where we¡¯d been, so I shifted them so I had a few in each hand as the bane pack spread into a semi circle around us and began to close in. No use for hesitation in a time like this.

    I screamed. As loud as I could and the bane pack shied away from the noise. That was when I threw one handful of pebbles at the pack members on our right, rushing at them as I did. Two of the banes yelped as they were struck by the rocks and moved out of our way. The last three had recovered from my scream and held firm. I threw my other handful of rocks at them as I felt the rest of the pack begin to chase after us. The rocks hit one of the pack members¡ªdistracting it¡ªwhile the other two leapt to attack. Neck and belly. I kicked the one who aimed lower away as Fellen pulled me in the other direction. I heard teeth snap next to my ear an instant before claws raked down my right shoulder and arm.

    I pushed Fellen forward, out of the way, as another bane leapt at her back before I twisted and planted an elbow in its neck. It fell, whining and gasping, but I earned more scratches for my trouble. Fellen looked back to see why I pushed her and threw her handful of rocks at another bane that was trying to swarm me. One rock hit it on the snout and I used the distraction that caused to dodge it and catch up with Fellen.

    We ran down the path as the bane pack nipped and bit at our heels. I think only our desperation made us faster than them. We didn¡¯t have any more pebbles to distract them. We ran and each time we reached a crossroads the bane pack would put on a burst of speed and force us to take a certain path or be bitten. It didn¡¯t take a genius to recognize that we were being herded¡ªmost likely to a dead end.

    Fellen gasped out, ¡°What do we do?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer her. I didn¡¯t want to waste my breath to say I don¡¯t know, and running was aggravating my shoulder and arm enough to not be in the mood to shrug. Blood caused my child¡¯s dress to pull and stick in uncomfortable ways on the upper right side as where the second bane had gotten me on my back. I did my best to ignore the lightheadedness that was settling in.

    Hiding wasn¡¯t an option. They could keep up with us or sniff out the blood trail. Running forever wasn¡¯t an option. We had to either somehow leave the bane pack¡¯s territory¡ªwhich wasn¡¯t going to happen if we kept letting ourselves be herded¡ªor cross a body of water to buy ourselves time Bane packs didn¡¯t like to swim.

    I knew what we needed to do then even though I didn¡¯t like it. It increased the chance of one of us getting bit. ¡°Next crossroads¡ªwe go the opposite to what they want.¡±

    Fellen nodded, her face an odd contrast of fear and determination. The next turn we came to didn¡¯t have multiple paths, but the one after it did. There were three options: straight, slightly right, and nearly 90 degrees to the right. The bane pack tried to keep us going straight, but Fellen kneed the bane hounding her in the head and I kicked the one on me the stomach. That one whipped its head around for a bite as I tried to running past and I felt some of its teeth graze my thigh. Another sped up and went after Fellen. It got her with its claws before she punched it and I dragged it back by its tail. I kneed that one in the head for good measure and we were past, down the right angle path. That bought us a few precious seconds lead as half the bane pack struggled to correct their course.

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    We kept running, but I could feel the blood loss weakening me further, making the thought of stopping and letting the bane pack have me more appealing than it had any right to be. Fellen heard the echoes of running water first. Sharing a quick glance, we silently agreed to head for it. Even if it was only a small stream we had a better chance with it. The noise got louder as we grew closer, and the bane pack made a couple more harrying attempts to bring us back in line but, together, we managed to break through them. At some point Fellen started limping as she ran, but, like me, all she could do was grit her teeth and keep running.

    It wasn¡¯t a small stream¡ªthough Fellen and I only registered that once we had ran out into it. The whole ravine was flooded in ankle deep water. We lost a moment to marveling at the good luck of it before splashing our way downstream as quickly as we could. The bane pack balked at the water, pacing along its edge before turning away. We couldn¡¯t be sure they weren¡¯t looking for another place to ambush us, so we kept to the middle of the running water and followed it.

    The current got stronger as we went, but we managed to keep our feet. The water numbed my feet quickly and once we reached a part of the ravine where we couldn¡¯t see any other pathways we paused to tend to our injuries as best we could. We didn¡¯t talk, in case the noise gave our location away to the bane pack. There wasn¡¯t any way to tell if, or when, we left their territory.

    I didn¡¯t like using unboiled water to wash my wounds, but that was what we had and the cold helped numb the sting. We couldn¡¯t rip our woolen dresses to make bandages, even where the bane pack¡¯s claws had damaged the knit fabric, so instead I did my best to use the sleeves to tie a makeshift bandage over the worst of my shoulder wound and staunch the blood. The rest I could only leave to take care of themselves. I didn¡¯t think that any of the teeth that scraped against my thigh had been the bane¡¯s venomous fangs, but it would take time to know that for sure.

    Fellen had gotten away with less injuries than I had, but she still had several claw marks on her legs and left hip. The four marks on her hip were the deepest, so she wadded up that side of her skirt and pressed it against her wound. After that, all that was left was to keep going.

    It felt like we walked for hours though with the state we were in I doubted we could have gone that long without resting. Once the adrenaline left me, the pain of my injuries flared up and fatigue made every blink a fight to reopen my eyes. Fellen didn¡¯t seem to fare much better, though she did fall back so that we could do our best to keep each other upright. In the end, we stopped because the flooded path we were following led underground.

    It left us with two choices: follow it and risk getting lost even further with no guarantee that we could find our way back out again, much less find the entrance to the Statue Garden, or trudge back the way we came in order to leave the flooded path and risk meeting the same bane pack¡ªor a different one¡ªwhen we had no stamina left to run away.

    Fellen and I took stock of our injuries and, after a short discussion weighing the pros and cons, we decided to risk whatever lay down below. That way we would at least have water and a way to escape any other bane packs we came across. We stepped under the lip of the cave and immediately it became much more difficult to see. I held onto Fellen so we wouldn¡¯t lose each other, and so she could snap her fingers to produce little flickers of light while keeping pressure on her hip. The rounded ceiling was about a foot higher than our heads, but thanks to Fellen¡¯s light we managed to avoid hitting our heads on the random rock formations that stuck out. The water got deeper and stronger as we went, rising first to our knees and then just below Fellen¡¯s waist. The roar of the water got louder too.

    By the time I fought through my lightheadedness and pain to consider what that might mean, it was too late. Fellen put her foot down on a loose rock, wobbled, and slipped, taking me with her. The current had a hold of us then and we were dragged along. Normally, we were both strong swimmers, but after the last few days of being nearly starved and dehydrated along with the strain of everything else, it was all we could do to stay afloat and together. The flooded path became a full-on river¡ªtoo deep and strong for us to get our footing.

    My shoulder and arm, my back, screamed with effort but I didn¡¯t let go of Fellen. Water was everywhere. It felt like I breathed it in about as much as I got a breath of air. And then¡ª

    Then there was too much air. And we were falling as we got pitched over a waterfall. I pulled Fellen close and did my best to make I was the one who would have most of the impact of whatever was coming. I made a promise. I didn¡¯t want to be alone. I couldn¡¯t¡ª

    A sharp impact and then nothing.

    --

    I woke up to watery darkness and something pulling me along by my armpit. Everything felt hazy. But I decided that being under the water was bad, so I did my best to help whatever was pulling me along by attempting to swim. Fellen. Fellen was probably the one pulling me.

    We broke through the surface of the water and as I took a breath the air was like a slap of clarity. Our injuries, the river and waterfall, we were in a cave. I heard a snap and the area around us was briefly lit by a flicker of flame. It was enough to spot the nearest shore. We used the last of our strength to swim for it and pull ourselves up. My right arm gave out in the process, but at that point I was already halfway out of the water.

    Once we were both on shore, we huddled together for warmth. I¡¯m not sure who passed out first, but there wasn¡¯t a first or second watch that night. Both of us were too exhausted to stay up and stare into a pitch black cave.

 Ch. 25: Underground

    Something sniffed and nibbled on my fingers. I swatted it away and immediately regretted the action as the movement pulled on my injuries. I groaned and heard several other creatures¡ªprobably a nest of mice¡ªskitter away. Everything hurt. Ached, even where I didn¡¯t have wounds from the bane pack. The fall down the waterfall and sleeping on cold, hard rock hadn¡¯t been kind. A dull, throbbing headache pulsed from the back of my head and when I used my good arm to reach back and pressed on it, the skin felt tender. I didn¡¯t feel any fresh blood seeping from my wounds, but I didn¡¯t attribute the fact that I hadn¡¯t bled out in my sleep to good luck.

    My mark burned, much as it had when my foot got infected. The goddess¡¯s gaze was like the brush of pine needles against my skin, but She didn¡¯t turn Her head and let Her gaze fully consume me. This time, though, I couldn¡¯t simply lie down and waste away until I was given the correct treatment. Fellen and I needed to reach the Statue Garden, so we could get our supplies back and reach Grislander¡¯s Maw before the cold season came. There wasn¡¯t time to heal. I would simply have to press on until there was.

    Fellen stirred as I rolled onto my stomach and pushed myself up into a sitting position. It was slow going. My whole body felt weak and wobbly, and protested the movement. Fellen groaned as she sat up, no doubt she felt nearly as sore as I did, but it took her half the time it took me. Thankfully, it seemed she wasn¡¯t on the verge of stepping into the Silver Forest like me. Once she sat up, she snapped her fingers to create a flicker of light and saw me struggling. Fellen yelped before recovering herself and creating another brief flash of light.

    She let out a breath and reached over to help me finish sitting up. ¡°You looked like a shamble man.¡±

    I tried to protest her help, but she ignored me. Once I was sitting upright, I asked, ¡°How are you doing?¡±

    ¡°Everything hurts or feels stiff, but I can manage. You?¡±

    It hurt to think and I didn¡¯t have the energy to sweeten my words. ¡°I should be dead. If you can walk, we should keep going.¡±

    Several seconds crept by before Fellen spluttered, ¡°W-what?¡±

    ¡°My mark.¡±

    I worked to get myself standing as she processed what I was saying. Even though all I could see was pitch blackness, it felt like the room spun, and I collapsed back to my knees a couple times before Fellen gathered herself enough to make another flame and help me up. She grunted with the effort, but she was more stable than me. I could also tell she wanted to ask questions.

    ¡°Just walk.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    The headache flared. ¡°Fellen. Walk while I still can.¡±

    We followed the river as it flowed from the waterfall¡¯s pool and deeper into the caverns. Occasionally, Fellen would light up the area around us, but between holding me up and trying to keep pressure on her hip, she didn¡¯t have enough hands to do it constantly. We mainly went by edging slowly forward and listening to the river. Some of our wounds opened up a little from the movement, like the claw marks on Fellen¡¯s hip. Hers bled, mine didn¡¯t.

    Fellen noticed the difference during our first break. She pointed to the claw marks on my back, the bit of smoldering moss we found providing a dim glow of light. ¡°You¡¯re not bleeding even though your scabs tore.¡±

    I kept drinking from the river without saying anything.

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±

    Unable to drink anymore without feeling like I might throw up, I carefully turned and answered her. ¡°If I bled anymore, I¡¯d die. So I don¡¯t.¡±

    Her eyes widened. ¡°So its true then? Your mark really doesn¡¯t let you die?¡±

    ¡°If it didn¡¯t, you would have woken up next to a corpse.¡±

    She swallowed hard. ¡°I¡¯m glad that didn¡¯t happen.¡±

    I gave her a small, tight smile. ¡°Me too.¡±

    Blessed silence, only broken by the sound of the river, took over then as we rested. It was odd not knowing whether it was night or day outside, and I didn¡¯t like that we could no longer tell how long we¡¯d been in Flickermark. But the silence of the caves was preferable to getting chased down by a bane pack. We only rested for a short while before we decided it was time to keep going.

    The more we walked the more the time blurred together to me. My focus narrowed from trying to pay attention to what was around us to making sure I wasn¡¯t leaning all of weight onto Fellen to feeling so lightheaded and weak that it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other. I might not die, but that didn¡¯t mean the state my body was in was much better.

    I didn¡¯t understand when Fellen stopped walking. I didn¡¯t think it was time for a break and, even if it was, I doubted I could make my body take another step if we stopped. But Fellen didn¡¯t move when I tried to keep walking, and without the forward momentum to keep me going, my legs gave out. That broke Fellen out of her trance long enough for her to scramble to catch me, so I got slightly bruised knees to add to my collection of injuries, rather than extremely bruised.

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    ¡°Why did you stop?¡± I had to pitch my voice louder to be heard over how loud the river had gotten. It made my head pound.

    Fellen gestured in front of us, awe filling her voice. ¡°Look.¡±

    It was only then that I realized that the cave was no longer pitch black and the light was the wrong color and too sustained to be Fellen¡¯s flickers of flame. A soft, blue-white glow filtered down from the ceiling to light up the area around us. I lifted my head slowly and looked up.

    The night sky stretched out above us, but much too close and not quite right. The stars seemed shifted in their positions to how I was used to seeing them, but I was too out of it and not strong enough with the constellations to know for certain. We were in a large cavern. The stars shone down on¡ªnot just our river, like I expected, but five others. The spray and thundering noise filling the air suddenly made sense. Each river had a simple arch of stone arching over it like a bridge, and they all poured into a hole in the middle of the floor, creating a large waterfall. Possibly the one Fellen had heard through the rock before we were set upon by the bane pack. A breeze drifted by. The whole cavern was simple and beautiful, and wholly unexpected.

    We sat there for long minutes, taking it all in, before Fellen pointed again. She brought her lips close to my ear to be heard. ¡°There¡¯s a pathway under the twin stars!¡±

    I looked at where she pointed and saw that she was right. Across two rivers to our left, under where the fake twin stars shone, was the entrance to a pathway. Given how it was marked, chances were that it would at least lead us back above ground, which would be a start to finding our way again if Fellen recognized any of the constellations we could see at where we ended up. The twin stars were one of the main tools we used to mark our way. But I wasn¡¯t certain I could walk over two of the slippery looking bridges without falling in.

    Nor did a part of me trust the marked pathway. It¡­wasn¡¯t like the goddess to be so helpful. The trouble was, I also didn¡¯t see any other way to go unless we followed one of the other rivers upstream, and there was no guarantee that they didn¡¯t have at least one more waterfall like ours did. Given the lack of good options, I gave into Fellen¡¯s insistence that we at least try the marked pathway. I was still struggling to stand back up, so we could make our way over to it, when I saw the shamble man. Fellen felt me freeze, but before she could grumble at me to keeping trying, it was my turn to point. Her gaze followed the line of my finger before she froze as well.

    The shamble man had lurched into the cavern on the other side of the river to our left. All that lay between us was forty or fifty feet and the river itself¡ªand if it wanted to cross that the stone bridge was only another thirty or so feet down the river. We watched in silence as the creature shambled forward. It was impossible to tell if it was the same one we encountered before, or a new one, but I didn¡¯t care for it either way. We didn¡¯t have the stamina to flee from it this time.

    Or at least I didn¡¯t. Fellen might be able to get away if she left me behind.

    The shamble man shuffled forward so that it was parallel with us and Fellen and I held our breath¡ªterrified that it would notice us, but it kept going without even a pause. The breeze blew by again, blowing my hair in the direction of the waterfall. The shamble man reached the bridge it could cross to reach us, but again it ignored it, and kept going straight. We watched as the shamble man kept heading for the waterfall. The shamble man didn¡¯t pause when it reached the lip of the circle before it stepped off the ledge. We choked back screams as the shamble man didn¡¯t simply plummet from view, but instead appeared to float in the air, before making a lurching turn and slowly disappeared below the circle¡¯s edge. Fellen and I shared a look before we both scrambled to our feet¡ªadrenaline giving me the push I needed. We walked toward the waterfall as fast we could before we slowed the closer we got the edge. An image of the shamble man popping its head over the edge right when we went to look over it played through my head.

    Fellen held onto me as I gingerly leaned over to look. She refused to be the one do it even though she was faring somewhat better than me. The shamble man didn¡¯t pop out and attack me. Instead I saw a pathway with a waist high lip spiraling around the edge of the circle. It started just below where the shamble man had stepped off the edge of the circle and continued underneath the waterfall arcs from the rivers. By the time we got to the circle, the shamble man was about to disappear behind the last waterfall on the right side of the circle.

    I turned back to Fellen and had to shout at her to tell her what I saw. It made my headache pound more, but I pushed through to add, ¡°We should follow it!¡±

    Fellen gave me an incredulous look.

    I gave her an exasperated one back. ¡°The Statue Garden is the Grove! It knows where to go!¡±

    I saw her put the pieces together. The Statue Garden was full of shamble men and they had to get there somehow. Now that we were trying to get there instead of just trying to leave Flickermark, it stood to reason that we could follow the shamble man to the Statue Garden. Fellen swallowed hard before nodding.

    She looked longing at the twin star pathway after she helped me across the river bridge before resolutely turning toward the circle of waterfalls. When we reached the hidden pathway, we had to sit on the ledge and lower ourselves down the three foot drop. We didn¡¯t have the shamble man¡¯s height or disregard for accidentally pitching ourselves over the edge.

    After the third time I slipped on the wet path and nearly took Fellen down with me, I opted for the indignity of crawling and sliding down the path on my butt. My legs were ready to collapse on me again at that point too. Fellen joined me in my method when we went under the waterfalls, and kept as close to the wall as possible, but otherwise walked¡ªso she could keep an eye out for the shamble man. It wasn¡¯t difficult for us to keep a good distance behind it, and it never once paused or turned around. I hoped our luck held.

    The path didn¡¯t go all way down to where the waterfalls fell below. The rock the circle was carved into was about twice as tall as the bluffs back at Gabbler Shore before it stopped and the rivers free fell into a dark, wide open space. Fellen and I eyed the drop, somewhat worried that we had assumed wrong and the shamble man had pitched himself off the path into the dark space below in the end, but when we reached the bottom the path led through an archway and into the rock.

    The archway was of a woman, tall and elegant, leaning against the wall in a simple dress and staring with an amused smile into the abyss below. On the other side was the same woman, kneeling and blinded by a cloth, reaching with outstretched hands toward the stars above and tears streaming down her cheeks. On the top of the archway were two simple, carved eyes.

    ¡°The goddess always watches.¡± It was eerie to see the scene even as I felt the goddess¡¯s averted gaze brushing over me and the burn of my mark. Fellen didn¡¯t hear me, but I saw her murmur the same before she helped me stand and walk through the archway.

 Ch. 26: Pathways of Thought

    We weren¡¯t able to keep up with the shamble man despite its slow pace. It didn¡¯t need to rest, we did, and even with Fellen¡¯s support it didn¡¯t take long for my legs to completely give out after we entered the tunnel. I could have crawled using my arms, but the dozen or so feet that gained wouldn¡¯t have made a difference, plus the indignity of it stung three times over without the excuse of a slippery incline and a long fall. The goddess could be watching, and there was also the risk that She might view too much of such behavior¡ªthat hinted at weakness¡ªas an affront to Her Beloved given that we were doing this trial to honor her.

    Fellen needed a break too. Helping me continue as well as her own injuries were taking a rather large toll on her. When I dropped to my knees, she was shaky and pale, and, unsurprisingly, some of her wounds had reopened and were bleeding. It didn¡¯t take much for me to convince her that we couldn¡¯t continue.

    Relief was apparent in her voice¡ªdespite her attempt to hide it¡ªwhen she slumped down next to me. ¡°We could completely lose the shamble man.¡±

    I leaned back against the tunnel wall. ¡°We could, but with the condition we¡¯re in, even if we somehow found away to go any significant distance down the tunnel, it isn¡¯t likely that we¡¯ll be able to keep it in sight or dodge it, if the shamble man did decide to turn around.¡±

    ¡°So we take a nap and hope that we¡¯ll be able to catch back up once we regain our stamina?¡±

    Neither of us really wanted to see the shamble man again, but desperation trumped fear in this case. ¡°Something like that, but you¡¯ll be sleeping and I¡¯ll take watch. I just need to rest my legs.¡±

    Fellen¡¯s eyebrows furrowed. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. You¡¯re the one who can die, not me. Sleeping will serve you better, and I can keep pressure on your hip to get it to stop bleeding again while you sleep. We¡¯ll have a better chance of catching back up if we only take time for one of us to sleep, too.¡±

    Fellen¡¯s worried look became more pronounced, ¡°But will you really recover enough if you don¡¯t rest?¡±

    ¡°I will.¡± I put as much conviction in my voice as I could.

    She didn¡¯t look entirely convinced, but the conviction in my voice was enough for her to at least let the issue drop for the moment. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll sleep then.¡± She cast her gaze around for the best place to lay down, but with smooth, hard rock all around she didn¡¯t have a lot of great options.

    After a hesitant moment, I patted my lap. ¡°You can lay down here. I¡¯ll be to reach your hip then, too.¡± I felt her eyes go to where the teeth wound on my thigh was hidden by my dress, so I added, ¡°Just lay down, you won¡¯t get bloody.¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t it hurt?¡±

    ¡°You won¡¯t be laying directly on it¡ªjust lay down, so you can sleep and we can continue. The less time we take searching for the Statue Garden, the better chance we have.¡±

    ¡°The better chance I have you mean.¡±

    I glared at her. ¡°I meant what I said. This whole stupid day should be proof that if you weren¡¯t here to help me walk, I¡¯d likely be stuck somewhere by the river unable to make much progress until I got too weak to move. I might not be dead then but, with no one to find me, I might as well be.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± She blinked rapidly for a couple seconds before smiling in a gratified way. ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a win then.¡±

    My glare intensified. ¡°And you wouldn¡¯t have even made it down here without me.¡±

    She shrugged and then spoke as she shifted to lay her head on my lap, ¡°Fine, you won the ¡®gathering food and water¡¯ contest, but I won the ¡®ability to walk¡¯ contest despite having more clawed up legs than you.¡±

    I held in a hiss of pain as she settled, facing me, so that she wasn¡¯t laying on her bad hip. ¡°I¡¯ll win it next time.¡±

    Fellen snorted and closed her eyes. ¡°We¡¯ll see.¡±

    I let her have the last word and reached over to carefully press a part of her skirt that wasn¡¯t completely bloody to her hip. Her breathing slowed and deepened into sleep after a few minutes. I watched the tunnel for any sign of the shamble man returning or another one coming, but nothing disturbed the quiet glooming passageway. The only light came from the fake night sky, but that did little to light up where we were in the tunnel. Without Fellen¡¯s flickers of flame everything was mostly shadow, but I kept my ears alert as well as my eyes.

    The weight and closeness of the tunnel pressed on me, now that my attention wasn¡¯t completely absorbed by the task of putting one foot in front of the other. My breathing turned a bit ragged as the tight bands that had wrapped around chest ever since we entered Flickermark tightened. But if I could handle the thin ravines and Flickermark¡¯s exit tunnel, I could handle this. I had to handle this. There wasn¡¯t another way for us to go, and Fellen was counting on me to keep watch while she slept.

    The dark helped. It made it so I could pretend the tunnel was bigger than it actually was. I also did what I could to ground myself in the present before the stone walls started to feel like leather and the quiet of the tunnel turned into the quiet of a study session where she was just waiting for me to give her any excuse to snap. I focused on the cold, hard stone of the tunnel, the ache and itching pain of my injuries, the burning of my mark, Fellen¡¯s warmth and weight, what contest I could beat her in once we got out of this mess. The pressure eased and my breathing returned to normal.

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    It still felt surreal that the goddess had actually responded to our prayer¡ªeven if Her answer had only made things more difficult. Even blood speakers often only had the blood flake away as a sign of acknowledgment, but then again, the goddess was known for never doing anything that remotely involved Her Beloved in half measures. I shouldn¡¯t have included the line about trying to honor her, but there had also been the worry that She would think we were ignoring Her Beloved in a sacred place made for her, which would have also undoubtedly ended poorly.

    The tribe should only be a few days away from Grislander¡¯s Maw, at most, and we would be lucky to make it to the hills between Flickermark and the valley by then. If we were caught by the beginning of the cold season after that, we would need a double dose of luck to survive. My gut twisted. I didn¡¯t like having to rely on something so uncertain. If we got our supplies back, it would make things easier, but Fellen would need treatment soon, so she didn¡¯t die of blood loss or infection. If I still had my beads, and we made it to the hills, I could have found the right plants and¡­

    But I didn¡¯t. And we were in a dark, possibly sacred tunnel underground.

    I needed to focus on what we could do next. Our main hope of finding the Statue Garden was slowing distancing itself from us while we rested. If we weren¡¯t able to catch up, the next time the path split we would have guesswork and whatever little information we could muster to go on. We didn¡¯t have stars or stones or knots in this tunnel. But half my childhood had been dedicated to memorizing every myth and legend she had ever heard and could pry from Grandmother and the other blood speakers. There had been more than one about Flickermark. Granted, none of them helpfully mentioned a huge room with a false night sky and circular waterfall with a hidden path or underground tunnels, but there might be something buried in one of them.

    I jolted as the thought reminded me of the whisper woman who took all of our things. Glancing down to make sure I hadn¡¯t woken Fellen with the sudden movement, I followed the thought. She had grinned and said not to follow the obvious paths. At the time I had thought she meant something to do with the stars, but these tunnels weren¡¯t obvious. As far as I knew, the tribe didn¡¯t even know about them. We never ventured into the caves except to have shelter when it rained and the ravines flooded. But something still didn¡¯t feel¡­complete about that answer. Like this was one of Rawley¡¯s questions where she asked me to describe all the things I noticed and she was waiting patiently for me to say the last detail. Like when she asked me a trick question or wanted me to recite one of the myths she told me word for word and it didn¡¯t matter that I had heard it a week or three months ago. I was expected to know and any lost detail wasn¡¯t acceptable.

    I had learned early that closing my eyes to help me picture what I¡¯d been told wasn¡¯t allowed. So I had to come up with another technique to have the recall and quick answers expected of me. In my mind rose an image of the healer¡¯s tent and shop, as if I was standing inside it and looking toward the entrance, but it didn¡¯t have the oppressive weight of watching eyes and things were organized differently. There was the smell of lavender in the air and I knew I could step outside and see a landscape of sprawling plants if I wanted to. This version of the healer¡¯s tent was mine, and mine alone. I turned around and went to a large, heavy pot that would be too unwieldy to travel with in real life, and pulled out of the parchment scrolls rolled upside. The pot was where I stored important recent memories until I thought they could placed somewhere safely that took a little bit longer to get to. I unrolled the scroll on the ground, and the scene with the whisper woman spread out before me.

    It wasn¡¯t my best. The edges were blurry and some details had faded away because of the stress and shock of that night, and the whisper woman and newly formed tree commanding my attention, but I could see her every action well.

    She had listened to the air before she said the line about following the obvious paths.

    I put the scroll back in the pot and let the tent fade away in my mind¡¯s eye while that important detail stayed with me. Flickermark had been the second trial. The first had been the Question of Ice on Whistler Pass. When the Beloved managed to persuade the goddess to let her and her companions live for the time being, the goddess granted her the gift to hear their voices on the wind¡ªthough they couldn¡¯t hear in return. It was supposed to be a punishing gift while she was separated from them for the other trials¡ªto hear their pain and misgivings but not be able to reply or directly help¡ªbut in time it turned out be one of the most beneficial gifts of the whisper women and what gave them their name. For those with the gift can communicate with each other over long distances.

    That part wasn¡¯t helpful for Fellen and me, but an aspect of the gift that the whisper women never confirm, but that many people speculate about is that it also gives them an innate ability to sense the winds. There are multiple stories where a whisper women seems to know about a storm long before it¡¯s visible or where to stand so that they aren¡¯t constantly pushing hair out of their face on a windy day. It was small on the scheme of things, but given the windy nature of Flickermark perhaps the Beloved had used that ability along with the stars to find her way? If she had to go underground like we did, she wouldn¡¯t have had a shamble man to follow to find the way.

    I did close my eyes then, trying to sense any little movement of air. I sat like that for several long minutes before I felt the barest brush of wind tickle my cheek. My eyes popped open and I looked around, but Fellen was still asleep and no other creature appeared in the gloom. Not a puff of breath then. I smiled as excitement filled my belly. It could have been a random breeze, and following air was a far fetched idea at best, especially without anything remotely like the whisper women¡¯s gift, but it was better than arriving at two passages and taking one on pure chance.

    I shifted my back slightly to ease a growing ache from leaning over to reach Fellen¡¯s hip. Then I began to recite the legend of the Lady Blue in my head. It was the tale of the goddess sisters¡¯ greatest mistake and their creation of their youngest sister. They meant for her to be like them, but the divide between the sisters was too great by then. The working failed, and the Lady Blue was confined to the seas, outside both goddesses¡¯ domains, without words or a definite form. She became something in between, greater than their other creations, but without the true gifts of the goddesses. It was said you could still hear her wail from the shore and that she destroyed any attempts to see if anything lay beyond the salty water that stretched all the way to the horizon in retaliation for the sisters forsaking her.

    It was difficult to imagine natural salt water or such a quantity of it, much less the goddess failing at anything, but it was the longest legend I knew and by the time I finished it, it would be time to wake up Fellen and continue on.

 Ch. 27: Following the Winds

    I didn¡¯t tell Fellen about listening to the winds right away. It took enough effort just get us both up and walking again. Taking the time to rest might have recovered some of our strength, but the cold stone floor had left us stiff and sore. I was glad I pushed for the break though. Fellen was steadier as we moved forward and my legs didn¡¯t threaten to give out right away with every step.

    We didn¡¯t catch up to the shamble man before we reached the first split in the path. Now that we knew there was an underground section to Flickermark, it didn¡¯t surprise me that there would be a second maze. After all, the entire premise of the trial was about the Beloved finding the correct path to the Grove. What was surprising was the chamber that connected the four different paths you could take.

    We didn¡¯t need Fellen¡¯s flickers of flame to see again.

    Because in the middle of the small chamber was another statue of the goddess holding a glowing blue disk. We both tried to scramble back into a bow when we first caught sight of it before we fell into a heap at its feet. That was when Fellen noticed that the statue was made out the same black glass as the hands and statue at Flickermark¡¯s entrance, and I realized I didn¡¯t feel the same pressure that I felt at the goddess¡¯s procession. Fellen and I stayed wary¡ªand a bit awed¡ªas we picked ourselves up and took in the statue and its chamber.

    The disk the statue was cradling in one arm was a glowing piece of ice, semi-opaque, and perfectly cut into an oval. A single word had been carved into the disk¡¯s center and it took me several long moments to puzzle through its simpler, more archaic form: Pick. The goddess statue itself was also worthy of note. Every part of the statue¡¯s body language drew your eye to a different path.

    Her stance, her shoulders and feet, pointed to the entrance directly to our left. The entrance was wide and low, barely high enough to clear our heads, and surrounded by tree roots made out of smooth stone. The roots stopped just short of the statue¡¯s bare feet. She looked past that entrance though, to the other one on the left. We had to shift to see past the tree roots before we saw that entrance was blocked by closed double doors. The doors were plain and, from what we could see, they didn¡¯t have any handles.

    Opposite of the closed path, the goddess¡¯s hair tumbled in an exaggerated length and fashion across the floor before curving back up to frame the entrance to a path that seemed to disappear into the ceiling. The statue¡¯s free hand reached back toward the entrance immediately to our right. That path looked more like a jagged crack in the wall, full of shadow, and had a downward angle.

    Fellen found her voice first. She pointed to the character on the disk. ¡°Can you read it?¡±

    I gestured to the different paths. ¡°All it says is ¡®pick¡¯.¡±

    Fellen slumped. ¡°Are you sure you didn¡¯t get it wrong?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m sure!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not very helpful.¡±

    ¡°Well, I doubt the goddess was trying to be helpful!¡±

    ¡°I know that!¡± Fellen glared at me. ¡°But we can¡¯t exactly go fishing down every one, and the longer we take the more likely it is we won¡¯t catch up to the shamble man! Are we just supposed to pick one and hope for the best? That hasn¡¯t exactly gone well so far!¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°We can try something else first. While you were asleep I remembered about the Beloved¡¯s first trial and¡­¡± I laid out everything I had theorized about listening to the winds to her before ending my speech, ¡°¡­I know you don¡¯t want to waste time, but waiting for a breath of wind and feeling which way it blows is our best chance about figuring out which way to go. If it doesn¡¯t work then we can still take the time to figure out which path we think is best.¡±

    Fellen considered our options before giving in. ¡°We can wait while we figure out which way to go. If we happen to feel a breeze and can tell which way it takes, then that¡¯s better than nothing.¡± She pointed to the crack in the wall. ¡°But I don¡¯t want to go downward. There¡¯s still that abyss below us.¡±

    I nodded and we sat while we worked through which way would be best. I didn¡¯t want to take the path to our right either. It was too¡­enclosed. I did my best to keep from looking at it, so I wouldn¡¯t feel the familiar bands tightening around my throat and chest. I also didn¡¯t want to take the path that led up into the ceiling. Given all we¡¯d seen underground, I doubted we would be able to find the entrance to the Statue Garden if we went back above¡ªand the idea of climbing the goddess¡¯s hair, even if it was only statue, to reach the entrance was unsettling. Which left us with the two paths on the left, one of which was blocked unless we figured out how to open the doors. Fellen thought we should take the tree path because the Beloved gained the ability to walk through their shadows during this trial, but I doubted it would be so simple.

    My gaze kept going back to the ice disk. Something about it bothered me. The goddess wasn¡¯t one to do something for no reason, but given the way the room was laid out there wasn¡¯t really a need for Her to tell the Beloved to pick a path. And the ice was clearly a callback to the first trial. There was too much significance in that and the way the disk was being cradled against the statue¡¯s chest for it to mean nothing.

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    I got up and began to examine the statue, but after respectfully inspecting every inch of the black glass I could see without climbing on it, I didn¡¯t find anything new. So, I turned to Fellen.

    ¡°Why do you think the goddess had ¡®pick¡¯ written on the disk?¡±

    Fellen sighed and gestured to the four paths.

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°Yeah, but why would She need to tell the Beloved to do that? That¡¯s what doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±

    ¡°Maybe She wanted to remind her of the choice she had to make during the first trial?¡± Fellen shrugged. ¡°Maybe all the paths lead to the Statue Garden, but they either have a reward or punishment and She was telling the Beloved she had to pick between them.¡±

    I waved Fellen¡¯s second option away. It had the same problems with it as our current situation. But the first¡­

    ¡°The goddess had her make a lot of choices, and they¡¯re all bound up in the Question of Ice. We can¡¯t know what they are unless we also take the trial¡ªwhich is obviously impossible right now.¡±

    ¡°We know the biggest decisions She had Her Beloved make: leave or stay, try to prove yourself or die, her blood or everyone else¡¯s. Maybe¡ª¡± Fellen cut herself off as a gust of wind brushed her hair against her cheek.

    We met each other¡¯s gaze for a couple heart beats before I demanded, ¡°Which way?¡±

    She gestured toward the statue and the ceiling entrance behind it. ¡°That way.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡±

    She gave me the same annoyed look I had given her earlier. ¡°Yes!¡± She didn¡¯t looked too thrilled at the thought of climbing the statue¡¯s hair either. ¡°So it¡¯s that one?¡±

    I ground my teeth. That answer didn¡¯t feel right. ¡°Fellen, what were you going to say before the wind blew?¡±

    ¡°I thought we could try offering our blood like she did. At least as a sign of respect. It feels odd to leave a statue of the goddess without doing anything.¡±

    Everything clicked into place.

    All the goddess¡¯s questions Fellen mentioned drove toward the same point: pick the goddess or you pick wrong. All or nothing. And during the Question of Ice the Beloved had responded by breaking off a shard of ice, dragging it across her forearm, and declaring that her blood, her life, was the goddess¡¯s to take while the long cut on her arm bled into the snow. Her people had been quick to follow her in the act and She accepted the act of fealty and respect.

    I turned back toward the statue and pulled my prayer needle from its place in my belt before using it to cut a thin line on my thigh. Tucking the prayer needle away, I smeared the welling blood across my hand and pressed it to the ice.

    Immediately, there was a very soft grinding noise as the blank wall between the two far entrances slid open. Fellen and I shared another wide eyed look. Then Fellen quickly got up and offered her own blood to the statue, but nothing changed.

    She turned to me. ¡°How did you figure it out?¡±

    I gave her a small smile. I could let her have some of the success. ¡°You helped.¡±

    She stared at me. ¡°Are you okay?¡±

    I ignored that question in favor of doing what I could to pull her toward the new entrance. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    We went. I did explain to her how I figured out what to do as we walked, so that she would stop bugging me. Fellen was pretty proud of herself after that, but after giving me a sidelong glance declared that the ¡®competition of the branching paths room¡¯ was a draw. Part of me wanted to argue, but I decided to save my energy for walking instead.

    The path we were on did start to incline after awhile, but it was a more gradual incline than what the hair path seemed to be. There were also more branching paths, but after working our way through the entrance room Fellen was more willing to wait for a breeze. She didn¡¯t want to get hopelessly lost anymore than I did.

    The wind became stronger and more frequent the further we went until all we had to do at an intersection was wait for a couple moments to double check which way our hair was blowing. I didn¡¯t notice when the tunnel started to lighten from a pitch black to a deep blue. I was too focused on staying upright and putting one foot in front of another at that point.

    Fellen did.

    She even dropped her skirt from her hip to point. ¡°Look!¡±

    The excitement in her voice pulled my gaze up to see the change. It was then that I noticed the air also tasted fresher. We grinned at each other and hurried forward as fast we could. When we saw the lip of the exit Fellen gasped out a relieved laugh. When we saw the night sky, the real night sky, my legs gave out and Fellen and I both tumbled to the ground. We landed on grass¡ªnot stone or dirt, but blessedly soft grass.

    I¡¯m not sure how long we lay there catching our breath and losing it again as we cried and laughed. We had made it out of Flickermark and back aboveground! We had made it to the Statue Garden. There was no other explanation for the lack of narrow ravines and wide view of the sky. We also recognized the smooth high walls of the depression the Statue Garden was situated in from when we had to skirt around them to reach Grislander¡¯s Maw.

    Nevertheless, it took us much longer than it should have to realize what it meant to reach the Statue Garden. We came to the realization at the same time as we helped each other sit upright and finally took a proper look at the area around us.

    A few feet behind was the plain entrance to the underground tunnels set into the high cliff face. To our sides was open air and grass. And in front of us were rows upon circular rows of shamble men. Still as statues, not even twitching to acknowledge all the noise we made, but still so many that they blocked our view of the bottom part of the Grove. Every shamble man faced toward the stand of huge trees, but according to the myths all it would take was a single touch from a single shamble man to give you their curse.

    Fellen swallowed audibly when she noticed what I had.

    There was only one path through them, and it was about as wide as the natural rock bridge that started this whole mess.

 Ch. 28: Statue Garden

    Fellen stared at the mass of shamble men and our slim path of opportunity cutting cleanly through them. It took her several breathless heartbeats before she managed to pull her gaze away and turn to me, smoothing a hand over the grass by her knee.

    Pleading desperation bled from her voice and posture. ¡°We made it, right? We¡¯re in the Statue Garden.¡±

    My mouth felt dusty and dry even as my gut roiled at the thought of slipping between the creatures. I didn¡¯t want to do the last bit our trial anymore than she did, but we both knew it wasn¡¯t over. So I pulled on years of training and stiffened my spine, drew my shoulders back, and ignored the weakness pervading my body as my mark burned and the goddess¡¯s gaze slid just past my clawed shoulder. Failure and excuses weren¡¯t acceptable.

    I did my best to keep my tone even¡ªimplacable¡ªso Fellen wouldn¡¯t think there was any chance of convincing me to stay where we were. ¡°The Beloved went all the way to the Grove to make her offering.¡±

    Fellen scowled and pointed. ¡°There weren¡¯t hundreds of shamble men in the way when she did her trial!¡±

    ¡°The goddess won¡¯t be amused if She hears you talking like our trial is harder than the Beloved¡¯s was.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not! I just¡ª¡± Fellen cut herself off before leveling accusing eyes at me. ¡°You were just as afraid of that shamble man as I was.¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡± My composure broke for a second at the reminder before I recovered. ¡°That was then and this is now. We didn¡¯t have to stay close to that shamble man to reach our goal before.¡± I snapped out an old mantra before I had enough time to process what I was about to say and stop it. ¡°Ambition is nothing without discipline.¡±

    However true the saying was, I hated the fact that she had ingrained it so deep that after all she had done, I still said it without thinking. I could burn out the loss of her abandonment, cut ties with the name she gave me and all notions of being her daughter in any sense of the word, and still her teachings were second nature.

    Nor could I simply decide to rip them out by the roots and no longer use them. Rawley¡¯s lessons were more of a supplement to what I already learned under her¡ªand even if I hated the methods of her teaching, most of the lessons had been sound. As was the lesson that if I could walk through Flickermark¡¯s nightmarish exit tunnel at the age of five with my eyes wide open, Fellen and I could very well walk down the path through the crowd of shamble men now.

    Fellen didn¡¯t look entirely convinced that reaching the Grove was worth the chance of brushing against a shamble man and losing her soul and chance of a rewarding afterlife. So I used the one tactic that she could never refuse.

    ¡°I challenge you.¡± Fellen¡¯s panicked gaze snapped from the shamble men to meet my own steady one. As I spoke the focus in her eyes grew. ¡°I challenge you to keep both of us from falling until we reach the Grove. If you keep from crying, screaming, or whimpering during that time then you win.¡±

    ¡°And how would you win?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll lead. If I make more noise than you or let one of us touch a shamble man than I lose. If I don¡¯t, then I win.¡± I considered before adding, ¡°If we both meet our conditions then it¡¯s a tie, but if one of us collapses for any reason than it¡¯s an automatic loss.¡±

    Fellen narrowed her eyes at me, ¡°Since you¡¯re deliberating baiting me, I get to add a condition: I get to keep my eyes closed the entire time.¡±

    It was always interesting to watch Fellen¡¯s competitiveness overcome her fear. I kept a slight smile of victory from my lips and answered as firmly as before. ¡°Fine. Let¡¯s go¡ªwaiting won¡¯t help us.¡±

    Fellen hesitated for a moment before flashing me a fierce smile as we struggled to our feet. ¡°I¡¯m going to win.¡±

    I smirked back. ¡°Not if you keep talking.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t stand on your own¡ªall I would have to do is drop you.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t dare.¡±

    She gestured to her closed lips before shrugging one shoulder playfully.

    I rolled my eyes and let her antics go. They were just a distraction from what we were about to do. I knew she wouldn¡¯t actually drop me.

    I knew.

    But I made sure my good arm was wrapped snuggly around her back, just in case, under the guise of giving her more support as well. Fellen trembled as we shuffled toward the thin path. I shivered too, but I pretended the cold night air caused it. She balked when we were a few feet away from the path, her breath coming in short bursts.

    I looked over at her and saw her eyes were still flared wide open. ¡°Close your eyes.¡±

    She didn¡¯t hear me. Her entire focus was on the waking nightmare in front of of us. I understood her fear, felt it churning in my own gut, but the last dregs of our stamina wouldn¡¯t last forever. We needed to move.

    With a grunt of effort and a flashing blaze of pain from my clawed shoulder, I used my free arm to slap a hand over Fellen¡¯s eyes. She jerked her head back in surprise, but I gritted my teeth and kept my hand in place before biting out, ¡°Close your eyes and focus on me. I told you I won¡¯t let them touch you. Just focus on me and keeping us upright. If you do that¡ªeven if this challenges ends up as a tie¡ªI promise I¡¯ll recognize you as a worthy rival.¡±

    She stilled, and a moment later I felt her eyes close. I let my hand drop. I was sure that if I had any more blood I could bleed, my shoulder would have been weeping it. The wounds throbbed deeply, aching, and I had to focus for several long moments to keep from crumpling from the pain. Fellen took the time to slow and even out her breathing. When she finished she nodded sharply and I shifted us into a shuffling sidestep, since once we stepped onto the path it would be too narrow for us to walk side by side.

    I did my best to ignore the gaunt features of the shamble men on the edges of my vision as we stepped into the long thin gap between them. I focused on keeping us in the middle of the path and where I was about to step. The last thing we needed was to roll an ankle on a loose pebble¡ªneither of us currently had the strength to recover from the fall that would cause.

    Still, I couldn¡¯t help but feel like I was walking through a horrible forest of gray flesh and ghoulish faces that were like peering into the Ever Dark. The shamble men were all of varying heights, but their features were androgynous and identical, so you might guess one might have have been a child or adult when they died, but you had no way to know who they might have been. I didn¡¯t even catch sight of the goddess¡¯s marks on the inside of any wrists.

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    For the entire shuffling journey, I was primed for the slightest movement, ready to throw us out of the way of a reaching hand or dodge the attentions of a suddenly turned head. Fellen was the same, rigid, and tuned into my slightest change of movement.

    But not a single shamble man moved. They truly were like statues. If it hadn¡¯t been for the one we saw in the ravines, it would have been easy to believe that somehow, for some reason, whisper women had brought large slabs of gray stone here and carved each shamble man from the rock. The only sounds to disturb the air were our gasping breaths and the rustle of wind.

    It set my teeth on edge.

    The stillness gave the unnatural scene even more of an uncanny air.

    No one knew why the shamble men were attracted to the Groves, only that if one was spotted it was always in the direction of the closest Grove¡ªunless they were about the goddess¡¯s business. Some rumors said that they were drawn to areas that had concentrations of the goddess¡¯s power, but we couldn¡¯t prove that Flickermark or the other Trials held anymore of Her power than the other landscapes and things She created. Those rumors also always led to someone pointing out that there weren¡¯t any reports of shamble men mobbing the Seedling Palace, which would have as much of a concentration of Her power as the Trials, or the goddess herself. Another source of unsettling speculation was that no one knew what real use She had for the shamble men; there were only myths like the one about the first storm of the cold season, but even the thought of the hundreds of shamble men from the Statue Garden roaming the landscape was enough to give even the most harebrained person pause.

    By the time we were halfway down the path, my legs felt like stone. Once I stumbled and only Fellen¡¯s vice-like grip kept me from stumbling headfirst into a shamble man¡¯s torso. That scare gave me a burst of energy that kept me going near a normal pace for a few more feet, but during the last quarter of the path our pace slowed down to a crawl. I couldn¡¯t make my feet move any faster.

    I did consider actually crawling, especially when I felt Fellen¡¯s limp worsen, but I doubted I would be able to keep myself from collapsing onto the dirt path once I no longer had Fellen¡¯s support. And more than that, the mortification of showing such weakness in a place designed specifically to worship the goddess pushed me to stay on my feet.

    It took me longer than it should have to notice when the corpses enclosing me on either side changed into large tree trunks. I stumbled to a halt as soon as we made it into the perfect circle of giant pine trees, Fellen still waiting for the worst to happen behind me.

    ¡°We made it.¡±

    Her eyes flew open¡ªand we crumpled to the ground as her strength gave out. She started to laugh and cry at the same time. Knowing that if I didn¡¯t keep moving I wouldn¡¯t have the strength to do the last crucial step, I tried to use both hands to pull out my prayer needle, but my clawed shoulder protested and I was reduced to fumbling for it with only one hand. I got it out just as Fellen realized what I was doing and followed suit.

    She grinned at me, a little manic. ¡°I won.¡±

    I shoved my skirt out of the way and pricked my mark. ¡°We tied.¡± Thankfully, a few drops of blood welled. I let the blood fall near a tree root. ¡°Please accept my small offering.¡±

    It soaked into the ground for a few breathless heartbeats before flaking away. I didn¡¯t get to see if Fellen¡¯s offering was accepted as well. As soon as I saw the blood flake away everything went dark.

    --

    I became aware of softness and warmth. At the fuzzy realization I was laying on a comfortable pallet under a fur blanket, I almost slipped back into sleep, but then I heard a clinking sound too familiar for comfort.

    The sound of healer¡¯s beads.

    My eyes flew open. I would have sat up too, but the blanket was too heavy. I was inside a medium sized tent with a low fire burning in the middle. A pot rested in its embers while the smoke disappeared out the opened hole in the tent¡¯s roof. On the other side of the fire Fellen lay on a similar pallet with a fur blanket, still asleep, and between our feet sat a healer.

    She looked to be a few years older than Rawley with pale pinkish skin and auburn hair braided back into a bun except for the pieces her healer¡¯s beads hung from. She wore a normal wool dress over her thin frame, but the backs of her hands¡ªall the way down her deft long fingers¡ªwere covered in dark gray tattoos. They were abstract, full of straight lines at a variety of angles. The healer was stitching a small pouch together.

    She looked up from her work with a smile and spoke in a softened voice. ¡°You¡¯re lucky girls. Not many would survive what you have.¡± She paused before her tone became more critical. ¡°But I doubt others have the type of boon you must carry.¡±

    I ignored her implicit question to croak out, ¡°How¡¯s she?¡± as I cast a glance over to Fellen.

    She reached back to where a bag and a water skin were resting against the tent wall. Taking the water skin in hand, she made her way to my side. The healer propped me up and brought the water skin to my lips.

    ¡°Drink sl¡ª¡± She cut herself off when she saw I was already doing what she would have said. I didn¡¯t need her to tell me to drink slowly or take small sips. That was one of the basics. She eyes the tuft of hair that had fallen onto my forehead. ¡°I wondered.¡±

    I glared balefully at her over the water skin. She chuckled. I hated how helpless I felt. It was like no time had passed in between now and when my foot had gotten infected near the beginning of the warm season.

    She helped me lay back down before gesturing over to Fellen. ¡°You¡¯re lucky she didn¡¯t bleed out more and that Hana was sent for me. Though you were further into the goddess¡¯s gaze than her.¡±

    She set about checking my wounds in a cheerful, but orderly way, and it was then that I noticed that all my wounds were dressed well and that I was wearing a new child¡¯s dress that was a bit too big. As she checked them my wounds ached and itched, but my mark didn¡¯t burn and the goddess¡¯s gaze no longer hovered.

    She updated me as she went. ¡°I¡¯m sure you still feel as weak as a newborn babe, but you¡¯re recovering well. There¡¯ll be some scarring, no helping that, but you should be grateful it¡¯s not worse for what you put your body through. You¡¯ll have to spend some more time here until you¡¯re able to walk on your own, but then we¡¯ll send you on your way.¡±

    I started. It had taken me weeks to recover enough to walk any meaningful distance without assistance last time, and the cold season would be well underway by then. We wouldn¡¯t be able to cross the hills without dying from exposure or a snowstorm.

    She noticed my alarm and smiled gently. ¡°Relax. We won¡¯t save you just to send you out to freeze. Especially not after you completed a trial given by the goddess herself. The whisper women have ways to get you where you need to go.¡±

    I doubted that the whisper women would use their ability to transport through shadows just to transport Fellen and I to Grislander¡¯s Maw.

    The healer noticed my disbelief and snorted. ¡°How do you think I got here from the Seedling Palace?¡±

    I stared at her, eyes wide. ¡°You were at the Seedling Palace?¡±

    ¡°Someone has to make sure the whisper women, Seedlings, and fire starters stay healthy.¡± She shrugged. ¡°My family has done the work for generations.¡± She became amused again. ¡°Or did you think the whisper women did the healing themselves? That¡¯d be a sight.¡±

    I¡¯d never even considered that whisper women could get hurt. What would be foolish enough to attack them?

    She finished checking my wounds. ¡°Well, you can bleed again, and your wounds are scabbing, so I¡¯ll take that as a good sign. Though, given the severity of your wounds, you should have bled out before your friend.¡±

    I reminded myself that I wasn¡¯t keeping my mark¡¯s blessing a secret anymore. ¡°My mark doesn¡¯t let me die.¡±

    Her eyebrows rose as she pursed her lips. ¡°Well, that¡¯s certainly unique.¡± She grinned at me. ¡°Looks like I get bragging rights over Morgan since the most unique situation he got transported out to help with was the transformer girl.¡±

    I didn¡¯t know how to process her lack of a reaction or how different her demeanor was from what I was used to. She patted my hip comfortingly.

    ¡°You get used to odd things when you¡¯re the main healers for whisper women. If we still got shocked by every little thing we wouldn¡¯t get our work done.¡± She glanced over at the pot in the fire before seeming to think of something. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m Ressia by the way. The gruel should be ready in awhile¡ªnot the most exciting I know, but it should help you recover.¡±

    ¡°Gimley.¡± I looked past the fire. ¡°And that¡¯s Fellen.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Well, get some more sleep. I¡¯ll wake you when the food¡¯s ready. No point in letting you miss an actual meal now that you¡¯re stable enough to wake up on your own.¡±

    I stopped her before she rose to her feet. ¡°How long was I asleep?¡±

    ¡°A couple days. Though that doesn¡¯t mean you shouldn¡¯t sleep more.¡±

    I nodded in understanding and she moved back to her earlier spot to pick up where she left off on her pouch.

 Ch. 29: Marked

    I slept more than I was awake over the next few days. Fellen didn¡¯t sleep as much as me, so when we were awake at the same time she filled me in on what she had learned. The whisper women had prepared the tent in case we completed the trial and¡ªFellen didn¡¯t say it out loud but the implication was clear in her tone¡ªthey had been tracking our progress. Apparently, all eight of the whisper women living in the Statue Garden had appeared as soon as both of our offerings were accepted. One of them had been Hana, the whisper woman who had given us the goddess¡¯s decree and retrieved the healer from the Seedling Palace. Ressia judged that Fellen was recovering well too, but that her limp might return on bad days.

    Our supplies were retrieved. Ressia encouraged us to sort through them on our own, so it was slow going. I only had one good arm to work with and we both moved slowly because of pain and fatigue. Still, the relief I felt when I finally held my sling again made the effort worth it. Even Fellen didn¡¯t look like she was ready to throw the sling I made her into a river anymore. As long as we had our slings we could defend ourselves. Feed ourselves. I promised myself I would never have mine taken away from me again.

    Once we were recovered enough to be able to sit up without help, and stay awake most of the day, Ressia pulled out inking tools from her bag. Fellen and I looked over at her after our latest round of playing Recall. I had identified the location she had been describing on my first guess¡ªit wasn¡¯t as if the tribe¡¯s cooking yard was a terribly difficult location to identify. So now I was up by five to her three points, and if I got two more I would win, but Fellen would probably try to stump me by describing people. She was better at obscuring who she was describing than when she gave descriptions of places, and she was better at identifying them too.

    Ressia smiled at us. ¡°Finish your game while I get set up. You¡¯re well enough now that I can give you your marks. Normally, one of the whisper women here would do it, but they¡¯re busy preparing for the cold season, and I have steadier hands when it comes to this sort of thing.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together in confused unease. ¡°Our marks for what?¡±

    Ressia chuckled and shook her head before she realized I wasn¡¯t making a weak joke. Then her tone of amused exasperation grew more pronounced as she placed one hand in front of her, palm up. ¡°You passed the goddess¡¯s trial.¡± The other hand. ¡°You reached the Grove and made an offering.¡± She brought her hands together. ¡°Both of those have placed you among the few who receive Flickermark¡¯s marking to honor your accomplishment.¡±

    Fellen swallowed. ¡°I thought you only got the title of Realmwalker if you completed all four trials.¡±

    The healer snorted. ¡°And how do you think the goddess keeps track of who completed what?¡± In answer to her own question she tapped the jar of ink meaningfully.

    It made sense. The goddess wouldn¡¯t waste time watching those that passed one trial just to see if they passed another or all four. Markings made things easy.

    I asked, ¡°What is it?¡±

    Ressia drew her pinkie finger down the middle of her chin. ¡°Three dots, smallest to largest. Like the stars this place is so known for. You¡¯ll still have to get it sanctified after this, but I heard that goes quick.¡±

    Fellen¡¯s eyes went round. ¡°Sanctified?¡±

    Ressia shrugged one shoulder. ¡°Make it official. I don¡¯t know the exact process.¡± Her lips quirked back into a smile. ¡°Did you want to finish your game? Or should we get started?¡±

    We got started. Fellen and I would remember where to pick up later. That worked in my favor too. Fellen tried to make me go first, but I convinced her that a worthy rival wouldn¡¯t make the person in the lead go first. I wanted to see the healer¡¯s work before I let her mark my face.

    Ressia shifted to spot with the most light in the tent before helping Fellen reach the spot in front of her. It didn¡¯t take long before Ressia was ready with her bone shard and ink.

    She lifted her eyebrows in gentle inquiry. ¡°Ready?¡±

    After a brief moment, Fellen nodded, shoulders tense. ¡°Ready.¡±

    Ressia smiled at her. ¡°Relax. And hold still.¡±

    She made quick work of it. The healer¡¯s hands were as steady making quick incisions and applying the ink as she was preparing herbs and treating wounds. Fellen sat rock still, even though I could tell she wanted to flinch away from the stinging pain of the tiny cuts caused. When Ressia wiped away the last of the blood and excess ink, I saw the three circles exactly as she described, before she smeared a healing salve over Fellen¡¯s chin.

    She patted Fellen¡¯s upper arm. ¡°You did well. The salve should help it heal fast and clean.¡± Fellen tried to say something but flinched and stopped. Ressia nodded. ¡°You might have to give it a day or two before it¡¯s healed enough for you to talk some.¡±

    Ressia washed off the bone shard and got a new rag to apply the ink before she helped me over to where Fellen had been sitting. It felt like I was practically carried the few feet it took to get there. Irritation made me clench my jaw and I had to consciously remind myself to unclench it so that I was ready for the inking process.

    I also made a conscious effort to keep my shoulders relaxed.

    Ressia sat across from me. ¡°Ready?¡±

    ¡°Ready.¡±

    All in all, it wasn¡¯t that different from when Rawley had done the spear head on my wrist. Though it was uncomfortable to have the healer¡¯s pretty brown eyes peering so closely at me, and I still wasn¡¯t used to being touched by others. I had gotten relatively used to Fellen out of necessity, but whenever Ressia adjusted the position of my head, or rested her hand on the side of my face, it felt like my skin was burning. I tried to tell myself that it was just like when she checked or treated our wounds, but doing those things barely counted as touching someone¡ªthey were just doing the job.

    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

    Ressia didn¡¯t comment on my flushed skin when she finished with the marking and, while Fellen probably would have, she couldn¡¯t speak. The tent was blessedly silent as Ressia cleaned up and put away the inking tools. I distracted myself from my embarrassment, as my skin returned to its normal color, by trying to figure out what plants she had used in the salve.

    --

    They brought us to the Grove three days later to sanctify the marks. It was surreal to be supported by full-fledged whisper women on either side. I didn¡¯t miss that it was two of the youngest whisper women of the group that did the work, however. The one on my left kept her gaze coolly forward while the one my right couldn¡¯t seem to decide between jealousy and disbelief when she glanced my way.

    That broke through the dreamlike quality of the experience¡ªthey might be what I aspired to be, and I didn¡¯t know what they had gone through to get there, but I refused to let them act like I didn¡¯t deserve what I got.

    It still hurt a bit to talk, but it wasn¡¯t nearly enough to keep me quiet. ¡°I would think you, better than most, would know better than to question the goddess¡¯s judgment.¡± Left¡¯s jaw clenched and Right¡¯s gaze fixed on the trees looming in front of us. I tipped my head in Flickermark¡¯s direction. ¡°Besides, if you want the same dots on your chin the ravines are right over there. I¡¯m sure if a ten and twelve year old can do it, fully fledged whisper women have nothing to flinch at.¡±

    They tensed, but they didn¡¯t fling me from them like I knew they wanted to. They had some dignity and discipline at least. Once we reached the center of the ring of giant trees I deliberately stepped away from the pair and knelt on the ground under my power. My legs threatened to wobble and ached, and the claw wound on my back twinged badly, but I kept the movement smooth while staring them down. I cast one last silent promise at their backs when they walked away.

    This is just the beginning of me becoming better than you.

    The pair gave me quick glares when they brought Fellen to the Grove next, a little rougher than necessary, and I resolved that they would get a more¡­tactile punishment before I left the Statue Garden. After all we¡¯d been through, Fellen didn¡¯t deserve to have that slight look of fear in her eyes so soon.

    The head whisper woman of the Statue Garden stepped into the Grove as soon as Fellen settled next to me and made a gesture of dismissal at the pair that brought us. They left. The head whisper woman looked about as old as Grandmother or Old Lily, but she wasn¡¯t as stout as them. She was tall, and her whole body seemed made of contrasting straight lines¡ªstraight thin nose, square jaw, poised shoulders. Her outfit was the same as Hana¡¯s had been and her wavy gray hair was cut short, but the left side had been shaved away to reveal the large interlocking diamonds curving around her ear. The only thing that might be called frail about her was her skin. Fellen had told me her name was Maybur.

    She opened up a pouch at her side with precise movements and pulled out a smaller version of Grandmother¡¯s bowl. Then she opened another pouch and flicked a pinch of green powder into the bowl. Out came her prayer needle next and she dragged it across her mark before swiping the blood into the bowl with two fingers. We watched, wide eyed and silent, as she mixed the blood and green powder with her hand before stepping within reach of us.

    She had a coarse voice. ¡°Goddess, these two ask for your boon of the true mark of Flickermark, so that all who see them might know how they honored you and the Beloved. Please grant me the power to give them their trial¡¯s reward.¡±

    Maybur swiped the mixture over our chins without a word of warning. I didn¡¯t even have time to twist away. One moment she was speaking and the next I had a deep green mixture covering my chin. Fellen and I shared a look of shock, which was what allowed us to watch the mixture flake off each other¡¯s chins and leave behind a mark that glittered like the night sky overhead¡ªbefore the glitter also faded.

    The head whisper woman graced us with a few more words. ¡°A swipe of blood over the mark will be enough to prove the truth of it, should anyone be foolish enough to question it.¡± Her gaze went flinty. ¡°Make sure you continue to prove yourselves worthy of them.¡±

    Then she turned on her heel and left.

    ¡°Does she hate us?¡± Fellen whispered.

    I didn¡¯t answer her. That didn¡¯t sound quite right to me, but it also didn¡¯t matter. What mattered was that no one was appearing to help us back to the tent. Fellen noticed our predicament a few moments later.

    ¡°Are we supposed to stay here?¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°No. But if we could in the state we were in before, we can make it work now.¡±

    Fellen bit her lip. ¡°What if we reopen our wounds?¡±

    Her point soured my mood further. It was irritating that I couldn¡¯t simply bask in the awe of what just happened, irritating that just by refusing to come back the two whisper women put us in a difficult situation, irritating¡ªeven if I didn¡¯t want to admit it¡ªthat I had probably been the one to prompt them to that decision.

    Fellen didn¡¯t need to pay for that.

    It didn¡¯t matter if I reopened my wounds; they would take longer to heal, but I wouldn¡¯t die. And I might not have the desperation and adrenaline that got me through our trial, but I definitely had more than enough anger.

    ¡°Stay here. I¡¯ll go get Ressia, and she¡¯ll be able to help you back.¡±

    I struggled to my feet. My back flared more painfully than before and my legs felt sapped of all strength, but I stood.

    ¡°Gimley,¡± I looked back at Fellen and she continued, ¡°Thank you.¡±

    My throat closed up. I didn¡¯t know how to respond to that¡ªI barely knew how to process what she said without denying it outright¡ªso I just nodded and used it as fuel to make the feelings of injustice and irritation swirling in my chest to burn hotter.

    I walked. And I bled, but I didn¡¯t fall over. Everything narrowed to the patch ground in front of my feet, and willing my foot to step on it. I knew that if I had waited a few more days to build up strength by doing small laps around the tent with Ressia, or if I had someone to support me, I wouldn¡¯t have ripped open my wounds. But I couldn¡¯t and didn¡¯t, and that flared the anger higher.

    I walked and everything hurt¡ªbut I didn¡¯t fall over.

    I was stopped short by something in front of me. Assuming it was a tree I forced myself to step to the side in order to go around it, but it stepped with me. I dragged my gaze up and found myself looking into the nonchalant gaze of Hana, the whisper woman who had taken everything from us in the ravines. She had been leaning against the trunk of one of the pine trees before she stepped to block me. In that moment, she wasn¡¯t nearly as intimidating as she was before.

    I pointed behind me. ¡°Help her.¡±

    She looked over my shoulder. ¡°Why should I?¡±

    ¡°Help her.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t see any reason to.¡± Hana smiled down at me. ¡°But you¡¯re interesting. How about I help you?¡±

    She grabbed my wrist¡ªand I had the barest moment to register that we were standing in the tree¡¯s shadow before it felt like I was falling and everything went dark.

 Ch. 30: Cold Season Begins

    ¡°Oh, open your eyes, will you?¡± Hana¡¯s impatient voice came from my left. ¡°We can¡¯t go anywhere with you crouched down like that.¡±

    I opened my eyes. Swirling smoke surrounded us in various shades from deep black to ash gray to bright silver. I could only see a few feet in every direction. The ground beneath our feet was highly reflective and slick, like a dark oil, but it wasn¡¯t wet.

    She smiled knowingly down at me. ¡°Beautiful, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer, but asked my own question instead as I prepared to stand. ¡°Shadow paths?¡± There wasn¡¯t much else of an explanation for how we were no longer standing in the Grove. And while the smoky fog might be mesmerizing, my irritation was flooding back with the realization of how powerless I was in my current situation.

    I tried to stand. My legs shook and burned, but I stood¡ªfor one blackly satisfying moment. Then they gave out and I slammed hard onto my knees. Hana didn¡¯t even shift in an attempt to catch me. She had broken my momentum and now¡ªwithout support¡ªthere was nothing to keep pushing my body passed its limits. What little energy I still had that hadn¡¯t gone to healing my wounds was spent.

    Hana¡¯s smug look grew. ¡°Where else would we be?¡± She gestured to the fog in front of us. ¡°I could even take you to the Seedling Palace now if you wanted.¡±

    Impatient with my legs¡¯ failure I tried to jerk my wrist out her grip, so that I could shove myself to my feet with both hands. If that didn¡¯t work at least I wouldn¡¯t have to be touching her anymore. I didn¡¯t break free.

    Hana tightened her grip and scowled down at me. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t do that again if I were you. You don¡¯t have anyway out of here¡ªexcept for me¡ªand chances are if I lose contact with you I won¡¯t be able to find you, much less protect you. The shadows don¡¯t take kindly to those without their essence.¡±

    Another failure.

    It was easy to feel the shadow of her second look of disappointment in Hana¡¯s gaze. Another failure in a whole string failures, and once again I was surrounded by signs of the goddess¡¯s power and on my knees. Failure to take extra precautions at the bridge, failure in hunting and navigation, succumbing to fear, losing our supplies, failure to protect Fellen and I from the wolves, useless in the caves, fainting in the Grove¡­

    Bile rose in my throat. I could say ¡°just keep going¡± and keep pretending like I knew what I was doing, but trapped in a tree¡¯s shadow and at the mercy of some other¡¯s whim, even I couldn¡¯t delude myself any further.

    Pitiful. Weak.

    That¡¯s all I was.

    Useless.

    I didn¡¯t deserve Fellen¡¯s gratitude or the new mark on my chin. It was luck and circumstance, and the end I still hadn¡¯t progressed from being the sniveling girl at the goddess¡¯s procession. I felt the same painfully sharp clarity cut through me that shown me the truth when Grandmother confronted me about the healer¡¯s beads and when I was rejected twice over.

    I would always be at someone¡¯s mercy under I was strong enough to over power or out think them, and until I got the same powers as the whisper women, I would be at a severe disadvantage with them. I resolved to remedy that disadvantage as soon as possible.

    But that did nothing for my current situation.

    The self-assurance Hana exuded faltered for a moment when my glare cut back to her. ¡°Have I entertained you enough or can we get back to the Grove?¡±

    At the very least I refused to break my promises. I had told Fellen I was going to get Ressia to help her, so I didn¡¯t have time to waste here.

    Hana recovered as her expression soured. ¡°Actually, you¡¯ve been rather dull. I could take you anywhere, I¡¯ve shown you something few outside whisper women get to experience, and all you care is leaving.¡±

    ¡°Why should I be impressed with this when I¡¯ll be able to do the same in the future?¡±

    Hana looked as if I had shoved a handful of rotted fruit under her nose. ¡°As if you¡¯ll ever be as good as me.¡±

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    Then she shifted to one side, dragging me with her, before stomping her foot through the oily floor. It felt like the world tilted as suddenly I was being pulled through the cool, slippery floor and my sense of balance kept changing. What had been down changed to feeling like I was falling sideways before quickly becoming up as Hana finished stepping through a tree¡¯s shadow and dropped me onto the ground by her feet. It took me a moment to orient myself enough to notice that we were no longer under the Grove¡¯s branches, but at the tip of one of the tree¡¯s shadows near where the whisper women camped by the back edge of the Statue Garden.

    Hana strode forward and disappeared around the side of the nearest tent. I laid on the grass for a while, trying to swallow my pride enough in order to attempt to crawl, before I heard footsteps and lifted my head to see Hana, mood much improved, and Ressia making their way toward me.

    Ressia¡¯s eyebrows rose as she noted my reopened wounds. ¡°I would have thought you would know better.¡±

    More shame squeezed my stomach and burned my throat, but I forced myself to speak past it. ¡°Help Fellen first. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t like I didn¡¯t know the consequences of failure. I had just managed to delay them this time. Denied learning the healing craft until I completed some long brain-numbing task, denied all attention while the twins soaked up praise, enduring rants and snapped comments about how disappointing and difficult I was.

    Dwelling on the past could be considered a type of failure too.

    Ressia turned to Hana. ¡°Thank you for showing me where one of my charges disappeared to.¡± She grinned at the whisper woman. ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to the trip back to the Seedling Palace. Yours are always the smoothest.¡±

    Hana smiled back. ¡°I¡¯m glad you recognize skill when you see it.¡±

    She left again as Ressia bent down to pick me up. When Ressia saw I was about to protest she shook her head. ¡°Bleeding patients get tended to first.¡±

    I opened my mouth to protest anyway when she settled me into her arms, but the similarities to when Grandmother carried me cut me off. Struggling hadn¡¯t done anything then and, given how weak I was, I doubted it would have any effect now. Ressia was surprisingly strong.

    Instead, I kept quiet as she carried me back to the tent, and treated and re-bandaged my wounds. By the time she finally left to go retrieve Fellen, I had sunk deep into all the things I could have differently in the past few weeks.

    Fellen tried to ask me what had happened with Hana and thank me for getting Ressia, but I kept my gaze focused on the tent wall. Not responding was easier than having to explain to her that I hadn¡¯t done anything.

    --

    The cold season started the next day with high, eerie keening. Ressia looked up from checking her supplies with wide eyes and a grin.

    ¡°You¡¯ll want to see this.¡±

    She helped Fellen, and then carried me, to a spot where we had a clear view into the Grove but were still a little ways off. All of the whisper women settled in a group near us, bless marks bared and wrists turned up to the sky. Their fire starters watched from our other side, excited murmuring running through the group.

    Ressia quietly filled us in as we shifted, trying to figure out where the keening noise was coming from. ¡°This is only the second time I¡¯ve been able to see this. The whisper women aren¡¯t allowed to take part.¡±

    Fellen asked, ¡°But what¡¯s making the noise?¡±

    Ressia chuckled. ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    We did, soon enough. Fellen was the first to pick out movement among the shamble men. Following her shaking finger, I saw a tall shamble man lurching its way through the others toward the Grove. Once we spotted that one, it was easy to follow the various keening noises and find their source¡ªdifferent shamble men all heading toward the Grove.

    Fellen swallowed audibly to regain her composure. ¡°I thought they didn¡¯t move.¡±

    Ressia answered her unspoken question. ¡°Goddess¡¯s orders. I¡¯m sure she could do what they¡¯re going to do herself, but this way she doesn¡¯t have to deal with the annoyance while creating the storm.¡±

    Ten shamble men lurched their way into the center of the Grove and formed a small circle, keening all the while. Once the circle was made the noise split, some of the shamble men trying for a deeper tone. Horribly, one of them also began to clap as the others swayed. Each clap was a sharp crack followed by a dry raspy sound.

    Dark billowing clouds began to form overhead as the shamble men continued and the wind picked up¡ªthe goddess¡¯s work. Fellen and I shivered and huddled deeper into our cloaks. Next to us, the whisper women began to clap and slap their legs in rhythm.

    If Fellen and I had been in Grislander¡¯s Maw, we would have seen everyone hurrying to the meeting hall with the last preparations for the First Flurry festival. I would have been in the back with the healer families as everyone chanted and stomped with the Echoes¡¯ beat. The Grandmothers would have taken turns spinning the tale of Lady Frost and her garden as well as the First Flame. There would be plenty of food and drink, and once the storm passed all the tribes would join together in the first snow berry hunt.

    I looked forward to that festival every year, but seeing the odd display and building of power before me, I didn¡¯t give it more than a passing thought. The shamble men¡¯s song, if it could be called that, reached a crescendo. Something sparked overhead, and we saw a see-through gray film unfurl overhead until it covered the entire Statue Garden in a dome. The shamble men stopped keening and the whisper women sat still.

    I looked back down in time to see all ten crumble away into dust.

    When I looked at the sky again I saw that thick, heavy snow had begun to fall but not a single snowflake got past the new barrier. They seemed to melt upon impact and roll to the edges of the dome. It was beautiful in an odd way. Fellen and I sat and watch the phenomenon until Ressia forced us back into the tent to keep warm and rest.

 Ch. 31: Recovery

    Ressia was called back to the Seedling Palace on the fourth day of the cold season. She didn¡¯t give a lot of detail for the reason why other than some sort of competition had begun. It didn¡¯t take a lot of guess work to infer that a lot of Seedlings got injured during it. The goddess and, by extension, Her whisper women weren¡¯t ones for half measures. After all, why would anyone deserve slack when what they were going through could never measure up to the strain the Beloved had endured?

    Still, I couldn¡¯t help the brush of unease that prickled on the back of my neck. If all went well, I would be at the Seedling Palace this year or next and have to face the same competition, or something similar. The thought of getting injured again was particularly uncomfortable as I was recovering from my reopened wounds. I had only recently gotten back to the point I had been at before Fellen and I went to the Grove to get our new markings sanctified.

    Fellen was further along in her recovery, but soon after Ressia left with her soothing poultice the itching of her healing wounds nearly became unbearable. I had to tie her hands together in between meal times so that she wouldn¡¯t absentmindedly itch them and even then sometimes I caught her rubbing her legs against the floor or doing something else stupid to try to get at an itch. She knew she shouldn¡¯t do it, that if she scratched too much she would reopen her wounds and we would be back where we started¡ªbut without a healer. The urge to scratch an itch didn¡¯t care too much about logic, though, and Fellen wasn¡¯t the best at restraint.

    So I resorted to what tricks I knew to deal the problem that didn¡¯t fall too close to the healer¡¯s domain. I tied her wrists together, I distracted her with competitions of who could hold different objects for the longest in both hands, and I asked her questions about her past, her interests, her favorite meals. Anything to get her mind off the need to scratch.

    I learned more than I had ever wanted to know, and my mouth tasted sour as she went on and on about how attentive her mother was. She didn¡¯t have too many other people to talk about. No siblings, no friends. I didn¡¯t listen too closely about her father. I caught that he was one of men who ground the flour and did other manual labor and tuned out after that. Her mother, though, was another story. She was one of the women who wove and felted the tribes¡¯ clothing, blankets, tent insulation, and other various necessities. Not the highest status work, but definitely not the lowest. And she doted on her daughter.

    Fellen spent hours at her mother¡¯s side, learning various bits of the craft and practicing, while her mother patiently coached her through it. Her mother asked for her opinion, hugged her, let Fellen know when she done a good job. Even when Fellen started to complain about her mother the worst she had ever done seemed to be denying Fellen a meal as punishment. Fellen did try not to talk about her too much¡ªI think because the memory of my last interaction with her still stood out¡ªbut her mother was often still at least tangentially related to whatever she had decided to talk about instead. Like when I learned roasted mushroom and boar was one of her favorite meals because her mother liked it too.

    Fellen tried to get me to talk about the time before we met too, but I put her off by saying she had already seen what it was like. I had no desire to comb through the past; what I was going to become in the future was what mattered. Besides, I had the training and restraint not to itch my wounds. I didn¡¯t need the distraction.

    As soon as the healer left, the sense that we were imposing on the whisper women tripled. I didn¡¯t doubt that they took her departure as a sign that the goddess was no longer interested in us and thus, we were well below the threshold to be worthy of their time and space. They had fulfilled their ceremonial obligations, so now they wanted us gone. They set their fire starters on a rotating schedule to bring us our meals and help us to the hidden latrine. Other than that we were left to our own devices as the whisper women increasingly gave us the side eye to see if we had walked on our own yet.

    Sometimes, we sat at the tent entrance to take in the sight of the barrier overhead and the whisper women working to clear the area of weeds. They walked between the rows of shamble men without fear. They would also disappear down the path we arrived on and return with fish, vegetables, and winter fruit. Once, a pair even returned with a bane carcass slung over one shoulder. We weren¡¯t allowed to watch when they practiced their combat art or when all of them gathered in the Grove. They held their secrets close, and they didn¡¯t want us knowing more than we should. Only whisper women had the privilege of learning how to use a weapon dedicated solely for combat. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if their prayer ceremonies operated differently than ours as well.

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    Hana didn¡¯t return after she took Ressia back to the Seedling Palace. One of the fire starters quietly told us that she wasn¡¯t actually assigned to this Grove. She wasn¡¯t even a Caretaker. I didn¡¯t have much knowledge on the different sects within the whisper women, but even I knew, once I took a moment to think about it, that her ability to travel so far through shadow at such a young age was rare¡ªand not in line with typical strengths of a Caretaker. Out of the six different sects, she was probably a Scale or Seeker, and the goddess had simply made use of her talent to get Her degree conveyed to us quickly.

    The first time Fellen made a hobbling circuit around our tent on her own, we were informed that we would be taken to Grislander¡¯s Maw within the week. Apparently, only one of us needed to meet the condition of being able to walk on our own. Fellen and I didn¡¯t argue, even though if they didn¡¯t take us right to the valley we would be practically helpless. Maybur¡¯s gaze had said all there needed to be said if we had enough foolish insolence to protest, and we both preferred to have more than one day to continue recovering before we were cast out into the snow.

    I refused to show it but quiet unease settled onto my chest as soon as the announcement was made. It didn¡¯t have to do with where we would be left at and our state of recovery, but with Fellen.

    Suddenly, the fact that we would be reuniting with our tribe, as well as a dozen or so others, was very, very real. She was just a rival, but given all she told me about her childhood she didn¡¯t have much need for even that once we returned to the tribe. She would get caught up with her mother¡¯s attentions and her apprenticeship with Nole would take up the rest of her time. The only person she had talked about as much as her mother was Nole. She was determined to become the best apprentice the huntress had ever had.

    I didn¡¯t have any place in all that.

    The journey from Gabbler Shore had forced us together and now it was ending. There wasn¡¯t anything else to bring us together. We wouldn¡¯t have to fight for survival, and our mentors had only interacted when our path demanded the use of both their skills. I would go back and study with Rawley until I got my blooding and then I would leave for the Seedling Palace. Nothing could change any of that, so it was past time I accepted that I had put more trust into someone than I should have, because they never would stay forever.

    I forced myself to swallow that tasteless truth, and then distracted myself from the unease that refused to go away by plotting my revenge on the two whisper women who had treated us poorly. In some capacity, they were still awe-inspiring simply because they were whisper women, but the knowledge that I would one day be above them in rank was enough of a buffer to let me still act.

    I didn¡¯t let my injuries limit me either. The fire starters might not be willing to directly sabotage the whisper women, but when they thought I was a shy girl wanting to show some quiet appreciation to two of the whisper women who helped me? They ate up that story like fresh bramble berries. I worked on them on my trips to the latrine and when they stopped by to check on us when Fellen was asleep. I couldn¡¯t have her giving away the truth.

    It didn¡¯t take long for one of the fire starters to shift through my hints of what I wanted to do and become sympathetic to my story. She gathered up the small, short light purple blooms growing at one end of the Statue Garden and presented them to me. They had a refreshing scent. I told her I wanted to prepare them a little bit, so that it wasn¡¯t just her doing all the work for the gift, and she left me alone for a couple hours.

    During that time, I split the flowers into two bundles and carefully interspersed the bundles with the red flowers that grew in a patch near our tent. They were sweet smelling. When the fire starter returned she complimented me on the flowers and the bow I had tied around each bundle¡¯s stems.

    She set off to discretely place the bundles outside the two whisper women¡¯s tents and I smiled.

    Ghost petal and ember weed. Separate they both had their benefits, but together, overtime, their mingled scents caused headaches, nausea, and paranoia. They both liked to grow in cold conditions and close proximity¡ªplaces where fire had burned hot in the past. They got their names because they often grew around where funeral pyres had burned¡ªthough cook fires often opened up their seeds as well before they were uprooted. A few of hours were fine to spend in their mingled scents, but more than that and the effects started to occur. I had been told to be wary of mixing them many, many times.

    Three whisper women woke up the next day feeling ill and I didn¡¯t feel the least regret for mixing the partner of one the two whisper women in my revenge. Later that evening I heard about one of them throwing up, but it took until the next morning for them to have one of the fire starters burn the flowers to get rid of them. That spread the mingled scents to the entire camp and all the whisper women dealt with headaches for the rest of day.

    During the commotion the fire starter who helped me came back with wide eyes, demanding to know if the flowers were causing the issue. I shrugged, utterly hopeless, when I informed her I couldn¡¯t know. I wasn¡¯t a healer.

    She didn¡¯t glance at the short bit of hair I had been careful to tuck into the rest my hair before hurrying back the way she came. Neither of us got caught.

 Ch. 32: Grislanders Maw

    The evening before we were supposed to leave the Statue Garden, Fellen spoke up. We had been sitting quietly outside the tent, watching the sky turn red-orange to deep blue and purple through the gray haze of the shamble men¡¯s barrier. Fellen had also been occupying herself by making a flower crown. A whisper woman who passed by gave her a suspicious look, but Fellen was too focused on braiding the flowers together to notice. Besides, all the flowers were ember weed. There wasn¡¯t a ghost petal in sight. Fellen couldn¡¯t make the hazardous mistake of combining them if she tried.

    Fellen looked up from her work, and I could tell that she was thinking hard about what she was going to say because she fell still. ¡°You acknowledged me as a worthy rival.¡±

    I nodded slowly, waiting to see where she was taking that point this time. Already, I could sense this wasn¡¯t like the other times when she started to talk simply because she couldn¡¯t handle the silence any longer.

    Her lips compressed together for a moment, like she was debating whether to say something or not before she continued, ¡°I won¡¯t disappear if you make fun of me and call me slow, or you decide you''re better than me because you became a whisper woman. I¡¯ll keep being worthy. I¡¯ll beat you in so many contests before you leave for the Seedling Palace that you¡¯ll be forced to come back to try to even the score.¡± She pointed to the dots on her chin. ¡°This is only the beginning.¡±

    I didn¡¯t know how to respond to her declaration. She was the one who was going to leave first. She had family and training to get wrapped up in. So, I focused on the one thing that made sense in what she said.

    I pointed to my own chin. ¡°I have one too.¡±

    She nodded, all serious. ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m going to get the other ones.¡±

    I stared at her, shocked into a loss of words. Fellen, of all people, had declared that she was going to complete the remaining three trials in the same tone as she had used when she first decided we would be rivals. When, by all rights, it was a miracle we had even completed one.

    ¡°But¡ªyou said you wanted to be a lone huntress like Nole.¡±

    She nodded again. ¡°I thought a lot about it. Completing my apprenticeship and gaining experience as a lone huntress for a couple years will be invaluable to help me complete the trials. I won¡¯t have the same troubles we had this time then. And the only person who could come near to competing with a whisper woman is someone whose completed all four. Anything less and people will look down on both of us for you acknowledging me.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll die.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t let her go through with it. I had to scare her into letting the whole idea go or at some point down the line she would die, foolishly, and I wouldn¡¯t be there to stop it. I could stand her losing interest and getting wrapped up in a normal life with the tribe. She would at least be alive then and everything we struggled through wouldn¡¯t be in vain. But for her to just throw herself into another trial to chase after me? Another three trials? It wasn¡¯t worth it.

    She glared down at her nearly finished flower crown. ¡°I didn¡¯t this time.¡±

    ¡°You had me this time.¡±

    The glare shifted to me. ¡°You think I can¡¯t do it on my own.¡±

    I gestured to the wounds still covering the both of us. ¡°We barely made it together. I should be dead.¡±

    ¡°Next time will be different. I¡¯ll be older and more skilled then.¡±

    My jaw clenched. ¡°Why would you even want to do that? It doesn¡¯t make any sense.¡±

    ¡°I told you: I¡¯m making sure I¡¯ll stay a worthy rival for you. I won¡¯t let you just forget about me.¡±

    I could picture her freezing to death trying to complete the first trial or getting touched by a shamble man. If she died during a hunt or from illness¡ªI could accept that, those were normal occurrences, they came with the life of a huntress. But if she died trying to complete another trial to keep up with me when I wasn¡¯t even there? Somehow that made everything I¡¯d done to keep her alive seem pointless.

    She could make other rivals. Friends. She didn¡¯t need me, and it wasn¡¯t fair for her to lead me on like this when she was the one going to leave first anyway.

    ¡°You don¡¯t need me.¡±

    Fellen looked at me like I was crazy. ¡°You just said I wouldn¡¯t have made it without you.¡±

    I refused to look at her. Perhaps it would be best if I made a clean break from her, but I couldn¡¯t make myself say the words that would make her completely hate me yet. ¡°For the trial. But once we¡¯re back with the tribe? You already had a nice life and plan there. You don¡¯t need to do anything stupid or me for that.¡±

    A handful of soft, sweet smelling flowers pelted me from the side. ¡°And who will you have? I told you, you aren¡¯t getting rid of me that easily.¡± She got up with a huff and threw the flower crown at my chest. ¡°I have a new plan. I¡¯m going to complete the trials. Deal with it, or if you¡¯re so worried about me make sure you¡¯re there.¡±

    Fellen couldn¡¯t stomp her way into the tent yet, but she did her best limping approximation of it while I was still trying to grapple with what she had said. It didn¡¯t make sense that she¡ªor anyone¡ªwould go to such extremes for my benefit. Nor did I like how she had thrown the fact that I might be a little bit worried in my face. It was just another reminder that I had slipped and given her more ways to hurt me in the end, whereas if I had just kept myself distant like I should have this situation wouldn¡¯t be a problem at all.

    I looked down at the flower crown that had fallen into my lap. The end she had still been adding flowers to was a bit ragged, but looking at it I knew it would have fit my head well.

    - -

    Two fire starters collected us from our tent the next morning. I could walk a few paces on my own, but any further and I needed someone else¡¯s support to not sink to the ground or reopen my wounds. Fellen could walk further, but she still benefited from the help as well, especially when we were both carrying our packs and other supplies again. The tension still running between Fellen and me made for a quiet morning, which suited me fine. I needed time to think, and I didn¡¯t want to get into another argument before I had my points ready.

    The fire starters took us to the Grove where Maybur waited impatiently. Apparently, the head priestess was the only one with enough skill to take us to Grislander¡¯s Maw in a single trip through the shadows. She stood in the center of the Grove, the wide shadows of the large pine trees blocking most of the sunlight from reaching the ground in the clearing.

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    She pointed at the ground. ¡°Pray. Thank the goddess for your time here.¡±

    Fellen and I glanced at each other before pricking our marks and doing as she said. Once the blood flaked away the head priestess took our hands in hers while the fire starters took several quick steps back.

    Maybur gave us a stern glance each. ¡°Don¡¯t scream, don¡¯t let go, and do what I say promptly.¡±

    We were falling and then there was that sickening lurch as I felt gravity twisting back in on itself. I heard Fellen whimper, but we both didn¡¯t scream, and then our feet landed onto the slick, oily looking ground I remembered. I glanced to the side to see Fellen staring at the swirling smoke around us with wide eyes. She had collapsed to her knees before she struggled upright. Her free hand kept nervously touching her sling.

    Maybur stood like one of the camp dogs getting a read on a scent, though I was sure she wouldn¡¯t have liked the comparison. She cast her gaze around for a few seconds before her eyes seemed to focus on something in the distance.

    ¡°Walk.¡±

    Gritting my teeth, I managed a few steps before Maybur was forced to look down and see why she couldn¡¯t continue forward. My legs were shaking too badly to walk and though I hated the display of weakness I couldn¡¯t make them stop.

    The head priestess clicked her tongue. ¡°Fool child.¡± In the next instant, I felt a rush of wakefulness and energy as if I had just had the best sleep of my life. Maybur flicked her chin toward the shadows a head of us. ¡°Walk.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t hold back my shock. ¡°Was that your blessing?¡±

    She ignored me, and I knew better than to speak again even though Fellen was given me a quizzical expression. I shrugged my good shoulder at her and she rolled her eyes before giving me a look that said I would be giving her the details once this was over. We took another six or so steps before Maybur stopped at a spot that looked exactly the same as everywhere else. Without warning, like Hana had done, she stomped her foot through the oily floor and there was the unsettling sensation of gravity shifting again.

    We appeared in the shadow of one the pine trees near the valley¡¯s entrance. I took in that much before Maybur dropped our hands, took a step backward, and disappeared back into the shadow. Fellen and I stared after her for a few long seconds. Then a cold wind hit us and we huddled together as we took in our surrounds.

    We were calf deep in snow, though from the looks of it the forest had protected us from the worst of it. Looking past a couple trees in front of us, we could see where the tree line broke and the lip that marked the start of the valley. The land was clear of the forest inside of the valley and for a mile in front of the entrance. It was said that somehow Grislander had used its dying breath to poison the land in its mouth and the land it breathed on against the goddess¡¯s favored trees. However, everywhere else was absolutely covered in trees. The forest covered the mountains and the land for a few miles in almost every direction. I could feel the uneven footing their roots made under my feet.

    Fellen and I struggled to the tree line. I had to hold back a growl of irritation when I felt the stab of pain and hot blooming of blood against my skin that meant one of my wounds had opened again. But reaching the forest¡¯s edge helped us to better pinpoint our location. We were on the western side of the valley entrance, under where Grislander¡¯s snout would have been.

    The valley also spread out before us. A river wound through the snow on the eastern side of the valley before spreading out into two lakes. The first was about a third of the way into the valley, it was narrow and normally used to gather water for drinking and washing. On some days using melted snow was the easier option, but we rarely wasted fuel to do the work, so that method required more patience than some people had. The first lake was shaped like an eye and its southern tip spilled back into a short river before forming the large, shallow lake that hugged the mountains near the valley¡¯s entrance on the eastern side. That lake was practically useless when it came to fish, but it worked well to keep the herds watered. We couldn¡¯t see them from our positions, but two separate waterfalls fed two different rivers that then merged to make the one that fed the lakes.

    The meeting hall looked like a large hill near where the river opened into the first lake. It was an oblong, domed building made entirely out of packed mud and dug partially into the ground. It had a double entrance, so that one set of the thick felted coverings could be tied shut before the next set was opened in order to keep the warmth inside the hall. The hall itself was a wide open room that could act as a gathering point during ceremonies or fit everyone inside for protection during the particularly bad storms. Another hill like structure that was nearly twice as big rose behind it. That was the herd holding pen. Most of our animals could weather out the storms, but just in case all the tribe leaders got to chose which portion of their herds got to take shelter in there when a storm bore down on the valley. That way no tribe could be completely ruined, but it did lead to lots of bickering between the herders every year.

    The land on the eastern side of the river was taken up by the multitudes of herds all the tribes had brought. Sheep, reindeer, and elk from the runner tribes roamed that side of the river as their herders watched over them. They would be rotated around the valley and brought out to the hills outside the valley in protected groups to make sure they didn¡¯t overgraze what there was to find under the snow. The other side of the river was dominated by clusters of tents¡ªthe different tribes¡ªand the footpaths crisscrossing between them. Most people were inside their tents or taking shelter in the meeting hall, but we could see a few making their way along the paths while others busied themselves with a repairing project that wouldn¡¯t fit in a tent. Others were clustered around cooking fires, the smoke trailing up marking their positions, and others still were gathered at the Pebbled Eye, the first lake.

    ¡°Who are you? Where did you come from?¡±

    Fellen and I did our best to whirl around in shock, but we weren¡¯t recovered enough for that. I slipped on the uneven footing and didn¡¯t have the strength to catch myself. I fell into a graceless heap at Fellen¡¯s feet while she wobbled and managed to shift to the side to get the newcomer in her view. I was reduced to looking past her legs.

    A sentry. The huntress looked vaguely familiar with her dark brown hair pulled back into a plait, prominent nose, and thin lips, but I attributed that to the fact that I had probably seen her in Grislander¡¯s Maw in years past. She wasn¡¯t from our tribe.

    She froze, her own shock registering when she saw the marks on our chins. Apparently, she recognized what they meant¡ªand that sent a flicker of anger burning in my chest. I didn¡¯t like that that made it seem like the markings were common knowledge. If some random huntress knew what they meant, Fellen and I should have heard about them too. I wasn¡¯t a sheltered child.

    The huntress held out a staying hand, even though we hadn¡¯t moved. ¡°How did you get those?¡±

    I didn¡¯t feel like being interrogated, so I laid the facts bare. ¡°We¡¯re from the Gabbler Shore Tribe. We got separated from everyone else in Flickermark, and then the goddess gave us a trial. We completed it, and after we had time to recover the head priestess in the Statue Garden brought us here.¡±

    She didn¡¯t believe me. Not that that was very surprising. If some twelve-year-old had told me the same thing I might have opted for a glare instead of a blank look, but the truth behind it would have been the same. I watched as the blank look became a suspicious one.

    Fellen glanced at me before speaking up. ¡°Our mentors, Rawley and Nole, can tell you the truth of our identities.¡±

    The huntress eased up slightly at the mention of our mentors. ¡°And your families?¡±

    I unfortunately knew Fellen¡¯s mother¡¯s name by heart after the times she mentioned it in her stories. I gestured to her.

    ¡°Tell Lendra of Gabbler Shore that her daughter, Fellen, has returned.¡± I indicated myself. ¡°You can tell the Grandmother of Gabbler Shore that her ward, Gimley, is back as well.¡±

    The huntress stared down at me for a long moment before whistling. Another huntress appeared and after a quick conversation between the two, the second one left again. While we waited, I struggled back to my feet with Fellen¡¯s help, and Fellen tried to fill the silence with small talk. Neither the huntress nor I reciprocated her efforts, and eventually she settled for repeatedly trying and failing not to do her nervous tick of keeping her hand near her sling. The huntress tensed every time her hand wandered a little too close.

    Then we heard the sound of crunching snow, and it was my turn to tense up¡ªuncertain whether it would be Grandmother or Rawley who appeared, and doubly uncertain about how each one might react to our sudden reappearance.

 Ch. 33: Reunions

    I should have been more concerned with my own reaction. When Grandmother appeared over the lip of the hill leading down into the valley, disappointment and worry washed through me. Even with the distance still between us I saw her note the reaction, and I forced the uncalled for emotion back. I didn¡¯t understand the reaction, but I also didn¡¯t have the mental space to examine it at the moment. Nor was this tenuous meeting the best place to do so. For her part, Grandmother looked mildly surprised to see us standing there in the snow. Her reaction strengthen on seeing Fellen more so than me.

    The woman who bustled past Grandmother was full of emotion, all of it for Fellen. She barely glanced at me as she rushed up to Fellen, hands and voice shaking, as she checked her over and asked question after question about her health and journey without letting Fellen get a word in. I assumed she was Lendra, Fellen¡¯s mother, and it took me a couple moments to also place her as the crying, frantic woman who had to be dragged with the tribe after the bridge broke. She would have looked similar to her daughter, if Fellen was prone to being a blubbering mess.

    Fellen also had tears in her eyes, and she hugged Lendra as soon as the woman stopped twisting her about, gasping about her wounds, but I could forgive her those. I knew how much her mother meant to her, and she, at least, was still keeping a modicum of control. Still, the scene sent the worry and a sense of loss tumbling through my stomach again. Even knowing that I was going to lose her, I hadn¡¯t thought it would be as soon as we got back.

    I swallowed as I realized my choice of words and consciously revised them. I wasn¡¯t losing anybody. She wasn¡¯t close enough that I could lose her. We were just going back to our rightful places. She would live her life, keeping busy with her mother and Nole, safe, while I went on the the Seedling Palace to become a whisper woman. It was the way things should be.

    Grandmother turned to the huntress who found us and the one that guided them. ¡°They are who they say they are.¡±

    She took several steps forward and gripped my jaw, lifting my chin to the light. She examined my new marking for several long moments before pricking her wrist and swiping a drop of blood over the mark with her thumb. The mark prickled, like my blessing did when it activated, and I saw the huntresses¡¯ and Grandmother¡¯s eyes widen. Lendra and Fellen were still too caught up in their reunion.

    Grandmother looked impressed despite herself. ¡°You truly completed a trial. It seems I have a new story to learn.¡±

    I grinned, pouring as much strength as I could into it. ¡°You do.¡±

    Grandmother nodded before addressing the first huntress. ¡°How did you recognize it?¡±

    ¡°My aunt is Grandmother of the Roots clan. I was always interested in the markings¡ªwhen she was still deciding on who was to be her apprentice she taught a few of them to me.¡±

    While Grislander¡¯s Maw was nearly surrounded by the Root Mountains, I knew the clan she spoke of didn¡¯t take their name from them. Rather, it came from the trees¡ªand their incredible amount of roots¡ªthat gave both the mountains and the clan their name.

    The three tree clans of the mountains worked a little bit different from the runner or water hole tribes. They were the most sedentary of the tribes, having no need to travel to another location to survive the cold season. They also valued the familial connections between different tribes more highly, which led them to identify by clan rather than tribe. Last year, the Root and Branch clans had around three to four hundred tribe members each while the Spire clan only had little over our two hundred. Also, rather than having a Pack Leader, Tribe Leader, and Grandmother for every tribe, they opted to have those roles encompass the entire clan, as they mostly functioned as one group anyway. Others could be appointed as minor leaders to help deal with everyday affairs as well. The part I always found most interesting though was that the Branch clan lived off the ground, in the trees, while the Roots Clan¡¯s domain was the ground below. The Spire clan lived on, and tend to, the east side of the mountains, where it was said the trees struggled to grow. They thought it was their duty to make sure Grislander didn¡¯t break from his bonds. They were less common to see in the valley.

    Grandmother nodded in response to the huntress¡¯s explanation and looked about to comment when Lendra seemed to catch up to the conversation. The sudden lack of movement caught my eye as her gaze caught on Fellen¡¯s new mark.

    ¡°My girl has the same mark. What does that mean?¡±

    Grandmother made sure her ire at being interrupted wasn¡¯t lost on the woman. ¡°Don¡¯t be daft, Lendra. They both completed the trial, so they both got the marks, however¡­odd that it is, that they managed to do so.¡±

    I glared at her. ¡°We didn¡¯t cheat.¡±

    She snorted. ¡°I doubt you would be standing here if you tried.¡±

    Lendra looked like she was about to faint. ¡°What trial?¡±

    Such a weak woman. It was little wonder Fellen got bullied.

    Fellen answered her mother. ¡°Flickermark¡¯s trial.¡± I saw her about to go into more detail before she took in her mother¡¯s shock and modified her response. ¡°We made it to the Statue Garden and made an offering to the goddess in the Grove there. We were given these marks as a reward.¡±

    Lendra took a few long moments to process that while Grandmother ignored her in favor of speaking with the first huntress about her experience as a Grandmother apprentice candidate. She also dismissed the second huntress and, even though the woman wasn¡¯t under her guidance through role or clan, she obeyed quickly. After all, the role of Grandmother was the highest one could obtain without being a Realmwalker or whisper woman. That fact gave Grandmothers more than their fair share of authority¡ªnot that the goddess or anyone else had much patience when it came to fairness. The Beloved¡¯s trials had been anything but fair, and she still persevered. As such, one of the unspoken rules of the tribes was to make the best of the lot you¡¯ve been given¡ªand if you wanted to improve it, you best prove your worth at least twice over.

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    Lendra gripped Fellen¡¯s wrists. ¡°The Statue Garden? Did any shamble men touch you?¡±

    Fellen shook her head. ¡°We were careful. Besides, one of the fire starters there said that that myth wasn¡¯t true. The whisper women walked through the shamble men every day and nothing happened.¡±

    Lendra¡¯s grip tightened. ¡°Best to be careful.¡±

    Fellen sighed slightly before smiling down at Lendra. ¡°Yes, mother.¡±

    I turned back to focus on Grandmother¡¯s conversation, unable to stomach any more of the other one, but hers was wrapping up. Grandmother dismiss the first huntress before taking the three of us in. After a moment, she directed her attention to Fellen and I first.

    ¡°Eat. Rest. Then I¡¯ll see you in my tent tomorrow. Midmorning. If I hear of you telling anyone a single peep of your story before I do, in full, you¡¯ll regret it.¡± She didn¡¯t elaborate. But then again, she didn¡¯t need to. Even with all we¡¯d been through, Fellen and I were still afraid of the possibilities of what she could do. She was Grandmother, after all.

    Lendra only took her gaze off Fellen when Grandmother settled the full weight of her attention on her. ¡°Act like a proper woman, Lendra, and stop kneeling in the snow. You should be supporting your daughter, not the other way around.¡±

    I didn¡¯t think it was possible, but Lendra¡¯s face, already pale with shock and worry, paled further at Grandmother¡¯s words. She scrambled upright before twitching nervously in different directions, unsure of what to do, before she had to turn around and kneel again so that Fellen could climb onto her back. When she stood again, I was little surprised that she didn¡¯t seem to struggle with her daughter¡¯s weight. Perhaps she was stronger than she looked.

    Grandmother gave me a side-long look. ¡°You know I don¡¯t do those.¡±

    She didn¡¯t give me time to protest before she scooped me into an undignified bundle in her arms. A part of me wanted to struggle, but given how difficult it had been just to make it to the tree line I knew better than to listen to it. Fellen flashed me a smile and a look that told me she had marked this situation as a win for her. It made my chest hurt while lightening my mood enough for me to roll my eyes at her.

    Grandmother led the way to the tribe while Lendra fell in behind. She gave me a knowing look as she carried me down the hill into the valley. ¡°I wasn¡¯t the person you were hoping to see, eh, child?¡± As she continued to speak I felt the disappointment and worry I had been suppressing since I saw her crystallize with clarity. ¡°Rawley will be pleased to see you when she returns from checking her traps this evening. I heard she placed all of them past the valley entrance this year, around the area someone might walk if they were traveling from Flickermark.¡±

    I had wanted to see my mentor and make sure she was safe as well. For all that I had put it out my mind while in Flickermark, it was true that the tribe had had their own journey to complete that wasn¡¯t without danger. Like Fellen, somehow Rawley had become a person that I didn¡¯t want to¡ªnot lose, that had too many dangerous implications, but that I wasn¡¯t quite ready to separate from. That would be inevitable, of course, but even though I knew that and the dangers of getting¡­protective of someone, I still had slipped up and gotten attached to two people. A shudder ran through me at that realization. They couldn¡¯t cause nearly as much damage as her, but if I didn¡¯t start being more careful the danger was there.

    I felt queasy as the need to separate myself from them fought with the desire to keep relatively close and the knowledge that, now, no matter how things went I would be hurt. The only question was of how much. In order to distract myself from dwelling on that currently unsolvable problem, I asked Grandmother how the rest of the run went.

    She kept to the main points, direct as always. They left Flickermark four days after we were stranded, slower than ideal but not the worst timing in history. After that the Picker bands had been bolder than usual, and they had some trouble with them stealing supplies and a couple reindeer. So the Pack set up an ambush one night and beat up the Picker band that fell for it. No one died, as expected, that was the goddess¡¯s domain, but a few of the Pack members got injured and the Picker band was beat up so badly, some of them couldn¡¯t walk after. After that example was made, the rest of the run finished cleanly. It had been a light year for injuries and casualties, all things considered.

    Lendra split off with Fellen once we reached the camp as their tent was not in the direction of Grandmother¡¯s. I hated the fact that I knew I was going to see her tomorrow morning eased the tension tightening my shoulders. The tribe had managed to secure a spot not far from the west bank of the river, in between the two lakes. Most tribes preferred to be further back into the valley, where it was more sheltered from the storms, so given how long it had taken the tribe to get here this year it wasn¡¯t surprising that we were pushed into the first third of the valley. Still, being between the two lakes was convenient, however useless they were for our tribe¡¯s skills. The only fish they had were different varieties of minnows. Needless to say, it was impossible to spear something that small and most of our hooks were too large as well.

    Old Lily hugged me as soon as Grandmother set me down outside the tent before ushering me inside and immediately starting to redo my bandages despite my protests. The other wards inside the warm tent didn¡¯t seem to know how to react to my sudden presence and that made it easier to go back to my old habit of ignoring them. Grandmother left to go to a meeting with other tribe Grandmothers, and once Old Lily finished with my bandages she left to coerce the cooks into getting my meal done early. It was odd having so much attention pressed on to me, and I didn¡¯t like it even though I could appreciate the benefits of it. I spent the rest of the day resting, but whenever I heard the tent flap open I couldn''t help waking with a start to see who it was.

    Rawley arrived right before the evening meal. I heard her voice, muffled, outside the tent with Grandmother¡¯s before she pushed her way in. I was sitting upright when she caught sight of me. She stared, taking in every last detail, as she stepped neatly to the side so that Grandmother didn¡¯t run into her as she entered the tent. Then she strode forward to drop into a crouch in front of me. She didn¡¯t hug me like I half-expected her to. Instead, she leaned forward so that our foreheads were nearly touching.

    ¡°Thank you for returning, clever girl.¡±

 Ch. 34: Inside Grandmothers Tent

    Rawley pulled back to rest on her heels. ¡°I understand that Grandmother will collect your story tomorrow. After that, if you wish, you can join me in the lone huntress quarters in the meeting hall until you''re fully healed. The healers will be closer there and it would suit Grandmother not to have her business interrupted everyday for an outsider to tend to you.¡±

    Part of me was tempted at the thought of inconveniencing Grandmother, but the more logical part of me definitely preferred the option of staying with my mentor rather than dealing with Old Lily¡¯s attentions and awkward encounters with the other wards.

    I gave Rawley the slightest smile. ¡°I¡¯ll join you.¡±

    She smiled back. ¡°Good.¡± She was still for a moment before she patted my knee. ¡°It¡¯s good to know you¡¯re breathing. Nole¡¯s apprentice?¡±

    ¡°We returned together. Fellen¡¯s injured but alive.¡±

    ¡°The best we could have hoped for, then.¡± Rawley glanced over at Grandmother before focusing back on me. ¡°I¡¯ll look forward to hearing how you survived once the tale is yours to tell.¡±

    The surrealness of actually talking to her helped me to openly admit something I normally wouldn¡¯t have. Not explicitly. ¡°Your teachings helped us a lot. Fellen and I wouldn¡¯t have survived without them.¡±

    Rawley rose her eyebrows and teased gently. ¡°All of them? It seems I might have to get advice from Fellen if she got you to ask for help.¡±

    I flushed and, more angry at my reaction than Rawley¡¯s teasing, I scowled at the ground. ¡°I didn¡¯t have much choice.¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°I see.¡± The whistle that the evening meal was ready sounded outside and was taken up again my multiple people throughout the camp. Rawley pushed herself to her feet. ¡°I¡¯ll take that as my cue to go, for now. I¡¯ll look forward to catching up with you tomorrow.¡± She shifted to fully face Grandmother. ¡°Thank you for informing me that my apprentice returned and allowing me entrance to see her. If there¡¯s nothing more you wish of me, I¡¯ll take my leave now.¡±

    Grandmother¡¯s sharp edges softened slightly at the formal address. ¡°You may go, huntress. There¡¯s no need to thank me when my ward will be imposing on you soon enough.¡±

    A quick smile flashed across Rawley¡¯s lips before she nodded and ducked out of the tent.

    Grandmother¡¯s gaze quickly became derisive when she looked at me. ¡°You were lucky when that woman chose to be your mentor, girl. Learn from her, follow her lessons, and you might actually manage to become someone others respect regardless of the marks you carry.¡±

    ¡°And if the marks are enough?¡±

    ¡°Then you¡¯re foolish and you¡¯ll wear the respect they give you thin.¡± She gave me a sidelong look. ¡°You should realize that better than most. After all, for all that the mark on your thigh gives you entrance to become a whisper woman, it did little enough to help you when you had those beads in your hair.¡±

    I didn¡¯t have a good answer to that and she knew it. Grandmother ignored me then in favor of gathering up the other wards and Old Lily to go to the evening meal. They left and I laid back down, unable to do anything but wait.

    - -

    It felt like the sun took longer to rise in the sky the next morning, it passed by so slowly. Old Lily only let me pretend to sleep for so long before she insisted on checking my bandages and feeding me breakfast. After that I was set to a few small, easy tasks that I could do with one hand, so my hurt shoulder wouldn¡¯t be pushed too hard. A few minutes into sorting through the basket of snow berries Old Lily gave me I was already bored.

    Much like the day before, my gaze kept flicking to the tent entrance, but instead of anticipating Rawley¡¯s return my thoughts were on the games and contests Fellen and I would have while we were recovering to keep us occupied. That, at least, hadn¡¯t been utterly mind numbing. However, there didn¡¯t seem to be much opportunity to play those games here. I still preferred to not interact with the wards if I didn¡¯t have to, and even if I wanted to risk Old Lily¡¯s attention she was too busy managing a variety of different tasks and she had to keep leaving the tent.

    So I kept quiet and the morning kept progressing at a crawl. It didn¡¯t help that the whole situation felt eerily similar to when my foot was recovering and that, in turn, kept causing me to have to pause and fight off mini flashbacks of the time surrounding that injury. I knew I wasn¡¯t truly stuck in Grandmother¡¯s tent, but my current lack of mobility and not having anywhere else I could go didn¡¯t make it feel that way.

    When a courtesy whistle sounded from outside to let us know that someone was waiting to enter and Old Lily whistled back for the person to enter, relief ran through me. I had little doubt to who it was. I set aside a new basket of snow berries as Fellen stepped into the tent. When the tent flap opened I saw her mother standing close behind her, but she stayed outside.

    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    Fellen tied the tent flap closed again as Old Lily gave her a questioning look. ¡°Your mother?¡±

    Fellen gave her a tight smile. ¡°She insisted on helping me walk here, but she¡¯s going back to our tent to wait.¡±

    Old Lily nodded in acknowledgment. ¡°She was inconsolable for the first few days after you were separated. There¡¯s little wonder that she doesn¡¯t want to take her eyes off you now.¡± Old Lily gestured at me. ¡°You can wait by Gimley. Grandmother should be returning soon from the meeting hall.¡±

    Fellen settled by me with a grin and, annoyingly, I felt my shoulders relax. She picked up the basket of red snow berries before she took in my piles of unblemished, blemished, and ruined snow berries.

    ¡°How many baskets have you done?¡±

    ¡°Three.¡± Her eyebrows pinched and she frowned slightly, so I pressed her. ¡°How many have you done?¡±

    ¡°Two and a third. I was in the middle of my third basket when it was time for me to come over here.¡±

    The sweet taste of victory made me smirk. ¡°I win this one.¡±

    Fellen gave a forced shrug. ¡°I¡¯m still in the lead.¡±

    I snorted. ¡°Since when?¡±

    She looked affronted. ¡°Since I won the carrying contest yesterday.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°That was hardly a contest¡ªand besides, if it had been than I would have won since Grandmother carried me.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t about who carried us, but how.¡±

    ¡°Why because that¡¯s what makes you win?¡±

    ¡°N-no!¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have thought you could be so shameless with the rules. It makes me wonder what other contests you might have bent to think you were only one away from beating my record.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t bend any rules! I really was one away if you count the time¡ª¡±

    Fellen cut herself off as Old Lily got up at the sound of footsteps crunching through the snow toward the tent. It still amazed me that she could so easily recognize the sound of her sister¡¯s footsteps. Old Lily untied the tent flaps a moment before Grandmother pushed her way through them, her stride unbroken by any hesitation that they might have been still tied. Her gaze swept the tent, taking in the few wards still tending to their own business, Fellen and I, and Old Lily.

    ¡°Take the wards to the meeting hall. This tale is for my ears only until I share it,¡± Grandmother ordered Old Lily.

    ¡°Of course, sister.¡±

    Grandmother settled on a thick bear fur as they hurried to put on their cloak and gloves before leaving the tent. Once the group left, she indicated for Fellen to retie the flaps again and for me to come sit closer. We did as she wanted without arguing. Grandmother waited until Fellen was sitting beside me again before she began.

    ¡°Tell me everything that happened from the time you stepped onto the rock bridge. Don¡¯t tell me every corner and path you took. It¡¯s not your place or mine to give away the secret to the goddess¡¯s trial.¡±

    Fellen and I glanced at each other, and because I stepped on the bridge first, I began to tell the story. We spoke of the bridge breaking and our panic and resolve. We each talked about our lack of supplies and our struggles to survive and find our way. Fellen talked about our rivalry more than I did, but we both skimmed over the argument we had been having before the shamble man first appear. We also brushed over my flashback in the thin ravines and I was quietly thankful to Fellen for that. We spoke of our prayers to the goddess, and Hana appearing from the shadow of a newly grown pine tree. Our narrow escape from the bane pack and falling over a waterfall into unknown underground passageways. The great room with the false night sky and the rivers falling into darkness. We spoke of finding the hidden path, but not where it was located or how we realized it was there. We told Grandmother about the room of various doorways, and that we need blood to find the correct path, but not the path we chose. Finally we covered making our way through the shamble men and making an offering to the goddess in the Grove. During that part I lessened the extent of Fellen¡¯s panic to return the favor she had given me by brushing over my earlier weakness. Occasionally, Grandmother would ask us questions to clarify our perspective or a point in our story, but for the most part she sat still, soaking in our words, and reading every expression that crossed our faces.

    She was quiet for a time after we finished, eyes closed, and I was tempted to break the silence just to see what would happen, but Fellen cast enough warning looks my way for me to quell that impulse. When Grandmother finally opened her eyes again, she seemed to relax.

    ¡°Thank you for sharing your story with me. There will be a celebration tomorrow night to recognize and share with the tribes that we now have two with trial marks in our midst. I will share your story then as well.¡±

    Fellen blinked. ¡°A celebration?¡±

    I was just as shocked. ¡°So soon?¡±

    Grandmother chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m good at what I do and it wouldn¡¯t do to wait longer than necessary to recognize boons from the goddess. If we didn¡¯t have at least a celebration to honor what She gave you, She might take it ill.¡±

    Fellen and I both knew firsthand how terribly things could go when the goddess didn¡¯t seem to care about outcome of Her actions. That knowledge combined with the stories that warned of when the goddess had been in a foul mood? The rows of shamble men in the Statue Garden still rose clearly and horrifically in my mind. We had no desire to bring the goddess¡¯s ill will on us, especially while we sat in the maw of the beast that had led to that disastrous change of temper.

    Grandmother took note of our pale faces and reached over to pat Fellen¡¯s knee. ¡°All you¡¯ll have to do is stand there and show off your new mark. The rest will fall on me.¡± Her gaze become piercing. ¡°And when have my stories not left you in awe?¡±

    Her utter confidence eased the brewing fear in my chest.

    ¡°Never, Grandmother.¡±

    ¡°Never,¡± Fellen echoed me.

    Grandmother helped Fellen to her family¡¯s tent after that with no more time for contests or debates. Already I could feel her slipping from me, but I squished that worry down into the pit of my stomach so that I could no longer feel its aching. She was returning to where she belonged, where she would be safe. I had to remember I had no part in that.

    Rawley came to collect me shortly after that. It didn¡¯t take me long to gather what little I had taken out of my backpack. She carried me on her back to the meeting hall and even though I didn¡¯t like having to accept such obvious help, it wasn¡¯t nearly as embarrassing as when Grandmother carried me into the valley the day before.

 Ch. 35: Mentor and Apprentice

    Entering the meeting hall was always a surreal experience. The oval, packed earth building looked larger on the inside than it did on the outside, and the sheer size of the enclosed space took a moment to adjust to. Sometimes I could almost forget the claustrophobic feeling I got whenever I stepped behind walls. There were probably near two thousand people all told who took shelter in the valley during the cold season and that lived in the mountains, and they could all fit in the meeting hall with supplies with room to spare, if needed.

    There weren¡¯t nearly that many people in the hall when Rawley and I entered, which made the space feel even bigger. Their conversations echoed slightly around us, but it wasn¡¯t strong enough to make any words out. Cook fires provided light along with the savory smell of browning meat, but they weren¡¯t strong enough to light up more than the area on the right, closest to the door. Glow stones made up the difference. They soaked up moonlight during the night and, as their name suggested, glowed during the day. Like small stars. Because you had to take them into shadow to really make out the effect, many people thought of them as reminders of the goddess¡¯s power. The bigger the stone, the more it glowed, but most glow stones were the size of a fist and lit up a light blue radius of four feet. Most of the semi-rare stones found were placed in the meeting hall, so that people weren¡¯t tripping over each other in the dark. It was one thing to appreciate and honor the goddess¡¯s aspects, and another to be rendered useless from the cold and dark. The meeting hall was a good place to work on projects too large to fit in a tent. Men were working on repairing or making tents, others were sorting out supplies, cooking, or grinding down acorns into flour. A few were keeping an eye on children as they worked, but normally that was a job for older children until they were apprenticed. Women were only expected to do that work if they were still nursing or healers. I had heard more than one disparaging tribe member liken healers to men because of the amount of life in them and that they had to do men¡¯s work out of necessity.

    If there was a job that involved turning a raw resource into a usable product then a man was doing it. If not in the meeting hall, then out in one of the camps. A woman¡¯s hand was better suited for the start and end of production, so that nothing was sullied or cursed by having too much life imbued into it. Women were expected to put the finishing touches on a project, for good luck and balance, if nothing else. No one wanted to draw the goddess¡¯s ire because they made a tent or dress touched with a bit too much life. That¡¯s why women were the hunters and men the cooks; why Father¡¯s wife was a sheep herder and Old Spinner had spun their wool into thread and Lendra would take his thread to weave blankets and other necessities.

    Huntresses and other groups of women were also doing their work in the hall. The huntresses¡¯ area was to the far left of the door and it included a generous sweep of the floor on that side along with two curtained alcoves. Lone huntresses were the only ones to sleep in those alcoves, but Pack huntresses also gathered in the hall to talk and work when they wanted a reprieve from their tribe¡¯s Pack tent or to meet with huntresses from other tribes. A few camp dogs lay at the feet of some of the huntresses.

    In the far back of the hall was the raised mud work platform that the Grandmothers used to address the tribes during ceremonies and celebrations. The platform was decorated with a pine forest at night and the goddess¡¯s eyes peering out from in between the branches. The two glow stones placed in her pupils made it impossible to forget the goddess¡¯s gaze every time you looked toward the stage. A single pedestal rose up in the middle of the front part of the platform. I knew from past ceremonies that it held a larger version of Grandmother¡¯s pale pine wood bowl perfectly. Three Grandmothers and a couple Echoes stood on the stage, looking like they consulting each other about the unexpected upcoming celebration. I hoped they weren¡¯t planning anything elaborate.

    Rawley carried me to one of the curtained off alcoves on the left side of the hall. I felt the eyes of several of the huntresses on us, but they kept quiet as Rawley walked past. Inside the alcove was a mini version of the huntress¡¯s cave at Gabbler Shore along with spots for about thirty huntresses to sleep. Statues of the goddess were placed on every ledge and the back of the alcove had been sectioned off with furs into two enclosed places, so the lone huntresses could cleanse themselves in shadow, privately, if they wished. It felt a little eerie to sleep in a place with so many eyes of the goddess watching, but each statue was for a kill that was thought to be worthy of the goddess¡¯s attention. Huntresses were some of the few who could draw her gaze and not have it be in misfortune or punishment. They would be too superstitious to take down any of the statues unless it was by decree of a Grandmother. The alcove was empty except for a napping huntress.

    Rawley stopped at a bedroll about halfway into the alcove and pointed to the empty spot next to it. ¡°You¡¯ll sleep there. Once you get settled in, we¡¯ll talk.¡±

    She set me down and it only took me a handful of minutes to get my bedroll and pack situated to my liking. Rawley watched as I worked from her place on her bedroll, undoubtedly waiting for me to ask for help, but even though I knew her teachings and relief seemed to ease through my shoulders every time I looked at her, I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to say the words. I imagined her making a note to ask Fellen how she got me to accept help as I leaned back against the wall.

    Rawley considered for a moment before she gestured to my hair. ¡°May I?¡±

    Nostalgia warmed my skin as, once again, I was reminded of when I was still recovering from my foot injury. Keeping my hair neat and untangled hadn¡¯t been much of a priority then, just as it hadn¡¯t been in Flickermark and the Statue Garden.

    I nodded and turned so that she had better access to my hair. Her fingers were gentle as she began to work on a knot. She said, ¡°I know Grandmother will share your story tomorrow, but I want to hear it in your words first.¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    I had known that this moment was coming; that she would want to hear what happened from me. Just as I knew that I hadn¡¯t yet told her about my mark¡¯s blessing. It felt different to reveal the truth of it to her than it had with Fellen or Ressia. More risky. No matter how accepting and calm she might act, Rawley was still a huntress, and they, even more so than most, cared about the balance of life and death in a person. If she still thought I had too much life from my time as a healer¡¯s apprentice in addition to learning I couldn¡¯t die, she might abandon me.

    But I wasn¡¯t Gimlea anymore. And Grandmother might reveal the truth of it tomorrow, regardless.

    ¡°My mark doesn¡¯t let me die. I¡¯ll get right to the edge of it, to where I can feel the goddess¡¯s gaze on me, before She looks away. That¡¯s how I survived that foot infection and Flickermark.¡±

    Rawley stilled, and the walls of the alcove started to press in around me. I could still feel her fingers in my hair, but they were as immobile as the statues around us, and I couldn¡¯t know her thoughts from that. A small, stupid part of me was desperately pleading not to hear a single, certain word while another had to be repeatedly reminded that this time I wasn¡¯t trapped. I wasn¡¯t so weak that I couldn¡¯t move.

    Rawley tucked one of the pieces of hair she was holding behind my ear. ¡°She keeps you in a state of dying?¡±

    I swallowed and kept my voice as neutral as possible. ¡°I think so.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t the full truth, but it wasn¡¯t a lie either. I didn¡¯t know if I would heal if I was left on my own or if the state I had been in when I stopped bleeding could really count as dying, but the way Rawley put it made sound like my blessing embraced the goddess¡¯s aspect rather than rejected it. I wasn¡¯t blind to the fact that the former might be tentatively accepted while the later might still end with me burning in a funeral pyre.

    Rawley rested her forehead on the crown of my head. ¡°Then the goddess was wise and generous to want to keep you so close.¡± She pulled back. ¡°Tell me what happened after the bridge collapsed.¡±

    I did. It took me a few words to stop my voice from shaking as relief and gratitude and a queasiness I didn¡¯t want to identity swept through me. I gave her more detail about the development of the teamwork and rivalry between Fellen and I than I had with Grandmother. I still skipped over the flashback in the thin ravines though. Neither of us would have wanted to dig into the cause of it. I highlighted the different times I used the skills she taught me, such as when I got the bird with my sling. She stayed quiet as she listened and started working on my hair again¡ªnot giving any of her thoughts away.

    When I finished talking about the Statue Garden, she held her silence for a moment longer before speaking, calm and measured. ¡°I see. We¡¯ll have to work on your navigation skills among other things. You were lucky to have Fellen with you.¡±

    I pressed my lips together in frustrated acknowledgment. Without Fellen I would have had to have been more than lucky to find the exit tunnel even before we lost our supplies.

    Rawley continued to fall into her mentor role. ¡°And the whisper women? What did you learn of them during your time in the Statue Garden?¡±

    ¡°They kept their distance from us. I only saw them when they tended to the shamble men or returned from the tunnels.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    I ground my teeth together. ¡°And they were walking. I didn¡¯t get to see much more than that.¡±

    She flicked me in light rebuke. ¡°You can learn a lot from someone¡¯s walk. Did one of them have their head held high one day and lowered the next? Who always walked in the front? In the back? Who walked together and who walked apart? Did they wear anything special? Don¡¯t forget the tracker¡¯s attention to detail just because you¡¯re not looking at a game trail.¡± She paused before continuing, ¡°Tell me what you remember. In detail.¡±

    I did my best. In my mind¡¯s eye I found myself back in the healer¡¯s tent that was mine, and mine alone. Then I pulled memory after memory scroll from the pot in an effort to give Rawley the detail she desired. In doing so, I realized a social order and details about individual whisper women and their relations I had only noted subconsciously before, but nothing that gave me drastic insight into their powers or the trials that awaited me to become one of their number.

    Rawley pressed the exercise as far as it could go before letting it drop with the promise that we would do it again in the future. I was to observe the huntresses in the hall and report to Rawley all I discovered simply by watching them. She finished untangling my hair a short while later and, after braiding it into a plait for me, she rose and told me to rest.

    I knew I should follow the napping huntress¡¯s example, who hadn¡¯t stirred the entire time we talked, but my eyes remained stubbornly open until Rawley checked back into the alcove an hour or so later. When she saw that I was awake she helped me to a spot in the huntress¡¯s area near the wall. Then she retrieved a trap that she was making and settled next to me. She handed me a simple trap that needed repairing. I fiddled with it and watched with wide eyes as a group of huntresses gradually began to settle and do their work around Rawley, engaging her in easy conversation. I had always thought of my mentor as a loner, but it was clear as she introduced me to them that the four that came near were more than acquaintances. Two were from her old tribe, a sister pair, Keili and Veris. Both were Pack huntresses and outgoing, but Keili seemed to have more restraint than her older sister. The third was a petite Pack huntress with reddish brown long hair from the Branch clan who went by the name Crest. She didn¡¯t seem to know what to do with me, but from the way she sat close and looked at Rawley, and Rawley smiled upon seeing her, they were lovers. That was a shock to realize, but given how little Rawley talked about herself, it was little wonder she hadn¡¯t told her apprentice about the intimate details of her personal life. That wasn¡¯t something I needed to know for her to fulfill her role as a mentor. The last huntress was also a shock to see¡ªNole. Apparently, she and Rawley had gotten to know each other better after Fellen and I got separated from the tribe.

    I didn¡¯t try to push myself to be part of the conversation, and after introductions and my first few short responses, the huntresses were content to keep talking among themselves. None of them seemed to known what the mark on my chin meant, though I noticed them mark it¡ªprobably placing me as someone with a blessed mark but for the wrong reason. I let them think it, knowing that Grandmother would fix their misconception tomorrow and I would no longer have the safety of anonymity.

 Ch. 36: Storytellers Prerogative

    Fellen looked like she couldn¡¯t decide if she was as panicked as she had been when we had to walk through the shamble men horde or smug. We were standing next to the ramp that led up to the platform in the back of the meeting hall dressed in our best. For Fellen that meant her mother had spent the past day adding patterns reminiscent of the ravines to the hems of a spare dress in a rich brown color. Her face was washed and deep berry red paint darkened her eyelids and lips. Placing the color of loyalty, fealty, and victory on the openings to the soul was no accident. I had similar markings. Fellen¡¯s hair had also been pulled back in a half up do with red cords braided into her blonde hair and a bone hair comb carved to look like a splashing fish holding it all together.

    I wasn¡¯t nearly as decorated. My face was washed and marked same as her, of course, but while my child¡¯s dress was no longer the bloodstained mess I had worn in Flickermark, it was hardly new and slightly too big for me. I didn¡¯t have a dotting mother to decorate it for the ceremony or fancy combs for my hair. However, my hair was probably the fanciest thing about me. Rawley had spent a long while sectioning of strands of hair and braiding the top half of it into a plait. She said it was her best five strand lace braid so far, but I could only take her word for it. Despite the annoyance of having to keep reminding myself not to let one of my hands wander up to feel the new hairstyle, it felt more grown up than anything I had done with my hair before.

    I leaned against the wall to save my legs¡¯ strength while Fellen fretted. I had no desire to collapse in the middle of celebration and my legs were still sore from when we had to press our way through the snow to the forest¡¯s edge the day before. It made me wish for a lake weed and blue fish eye salve to numb the ache and help my body heal faster. But I wasn¡¯t at Gabbler¡¯s Shore, and the healer who came to check on me this morning was from a runner tribe and not as familiar with the properties of lake plants. Instead, he rubbed a salve of purple broad leaf and frostbite berry onto my legs that soothed the ache until mid afternoon. I knew him and he knew me, but we were both careful to keep conversation short and the pretense up that I was just a patient that didn¡¯t have the knowledge or capability to do everything he did. Just as I was careful to keep my eyes on the ground and not stare too long at his work or the alcoves on the other side of the hall where the healers did their work.

    Still, I didn¡¯t miss the symbolism of the fact that Jasper had been sent out to care for me and not one of the other healers. He was competent, sure, but he was still a male healer and the youngest of the three male healers there was to pick from. Male healers were rare for one simple fact¡ªno one wanted them. They were hated and had superstition heaped on them even more so than normal healers. There was too much life in that pairing of a male and the healing craft, just as there was in a male and male pairing. A dangerous amount that was sure to draw the goddess¡¯s attention unless carefully managed. So it was best to only let such an occurrence happen under the strictest necessity.

    Sometimes there was no one else to take up the healer¡¯s position and so a son was allowed to step into it and use the knowledge he spent his childhood learning. I knew Jasper was such a case. His mother had complications during birth that rendered her unable to have another child. My brother could only hope to become my sister¡¯s assistant unless he cut off his beads, and even then he wouldn¡¯t ever have status to become more than a common laborer.

    And there were rumors that Jasper had dabbled in being intimate with another man. Female pairings might be considered a boon and lauded, but male pairings were never necessary. Too much life and it broke the social order. Being caught in such a relationship was often a sentence to beatings, threats, and eventual exile. And even if you ignored that, Jasper had broken the unspoken rule that healers had to carry on their line. It was said that he only managed to avoid exile because he saved the tribe¡¯s Grandmother from a coughing sickness and early funeral pyre. After that he was put under watch for a year, and when no illicit details rose, he was allowed to stay in the tribe. It probably helped that they didn¡¯t want to come begging to another tribe for a healer of all things.

    That was the man who was sent to treat me.

    Someone who shouldn¡¯t still have even the lowest rank possible in a tribe. I had little trouble imagining who would have the influence and distaste to do something so petty.

    Fellen cut into my thoughts. ¡°I hate how calm you are.¡±

    I followed her gaze as she glanced at the growing crowd in the meeting hall and did my best to keep my tone even. ¡°We survived Flickermark.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and every tribe that winters at Grislander¡¯s Maw wasn¡¯t watching us then.¡± Fellen gave her left hand a lost look.

    ¡°The kids that wouldn¡¯t let me play with them will be here. I want to shove our success in their faces¡±¡ªthere was the smug look only to be quickly dashed by worry¡ª¡±but not when everyone I¡¯ve ever known is there to judge us at the same time. We won¡¯t even get to see their reactions this way.¡±

    I needed her to focus, so that she wouldn¡¯t decide to panic in the middle of Grandmother¡¯s story. I couldn¡¯t exactly interrupt Grandmother and challenge Fellen to a contest in the middle of the ceremony if that happened. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what they think or how many people are watching. You¡¯re my rival, right? Not theirs. If I can stand up there and not panic, you better be able to, too.¡± Fellen¡¯s eyes widened in shock before she grinned. Not sure how to handle how satisfied she looked, I shifted to watch Old Lily bustling toward us from the stage. ¡°Besides if you still want to see the idiots¡¯ reactions when this is done, we can always show them the trial marks in person.¡±

    I snuck a glance back at Fellen to see that smugness had definitely, finally, won over her nerves. ¡°We might have to do that.¡±

    Old Lily reached us a few moments later. ¡°Are you ready?¡±

    I nodded while Fellen set her shoulders and spoke up. ¡°As we can be.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Old Lily glanced at where my shoulders were pressed up against the wall. ¡°You¡¯re part is simple. You¡¯ll start on the stage, behind the Grandmothers and us. We¡¯ll do the intro and then Grandmother will take the lead with a prayer and your story. The only thing you have to worry about is making sure you join Grandmother at the front of the stage when it¡¯s time¡ªthe other Grandmothers will part to reveal a path forward. Do you understand?¡±

    We understood.

    Fellen¡¯s mother wasn¡¯t the only one who had been busy. Both Grandmothers and Echoes had been preparing for the celebration since yesterday morning. The Grandmothers had to coordinate how all 27 of them would be involved while the Echoes had disappeared for most of the day to practice with their rhythm sticks and their other sound effects. Most of it they all knew already by rote and tradition, which was how they were able to pull together a full celebration in a day, but the details had to be smoothed out.

    Fellen and I were a couple of details. Normally, there wouldn¡¯t be anyone on stage with the Grandmothers and Echoes, but given that the celebration was happening because of what we had accomplished, they couldn¡¯t exactly leave us out. So we were to do as little as possible so we didn¡¯t ruin the ceremony and celebration.

    I kept my focus on Old Lily as Fellen asked a question. ¡°How will we know when it¡¯s time? I don¡¯t want to accidentally move too soon.¡±

    Old Lily rose her eyebrows at me as if to say isn¡¯t-nice-when-someone-asks-nicely-for-help before giving Fellen a reassuring smile. ¡°It¡¯ll be at the end of the story after you reach the Grove. Grandmother will decide the exact moment, but if you keep that in mind and watch for the Grandmothers parting in front of you, you shouldn¡¯t miss it.¡±

    Fellen smiled back at her. ¡°We won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Follow me, then.¡± As soon as I pushed off the wall to start walking, Old Lily swooped in to brush off my shoulders. ¡°Now you¡¯re as ready as you can be.¡±

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    I snorted and didn¡¯t meet her gaze. We followed her up the ramp and onto the stage behind the crowd of Grandmothers and Echoes settling into their places. Old Lily led us to a spot in the center of the back half of the platform.

    ¡°You can sit until it¡¯s time. We know you haven¡¯t fully recovered and there should be time for you to stand while the Grandmothers are still making the path.¡±

    I held my tongue despite the part of me that wanted to recklessly argue that I could stand the entire time, no problem. My pride would take a bigger blow if I stumbled when we went to join Grandmother because I refused to sit now. We sat. Fellen clasped her hands together to keep from nervously touching her belt where her sling normally hung. I did my best to keep my posture perfect.

    In between the legs of the Grandmothers and Echoes, I could see small sections of the swelling crowd. They murmured amongst themselves. Some looked excited and were happily chatting with friends and family while others show discontent and uncertainty. They would be the ones this celebration was for even if we didn¡¯t have to keep the goddess happy. It wouldn¡¯t do if they openly questioned the goddess¡¯s gift and how we, two girls not yet to their blooding years, had completed a trial only a few in history had accomplished. The answer of luck, desperation, and my mark keeping me alive wouldn¡¯t satisfy them on its own, but with the Grandmothers¡¯ support to give our story the marks of authority and truth, they should accept it.

    The Grandmothers and Echoes formed two staggered rows that were shaped like a spear point; Grandmothers in the front and their Echoes to their back right. All were dressed in their ceremonial best. Grandmother and Old Lily stood in the center of both lines, the places of prominence. Flanking them were the clan Grandmothers and their Echoes as we were in their territory and the clans they led were definitely larger than most tribes. The positions of the rest on stage were a jumble of runner and water hole tribes, but the smallest tribes, those with only fifteen to twenty people, were at the very end.

    As one the Echoes lifted their rhythm sticks and then cracked them together. The sticks flashed to their sides and hit their neighbors¡¯ sticks with another crack. All murmurs ceased. Expectation rose in the hall as the crowd focused on the platform. The Echoes, old and young, veteran and new, took a prefect twirling step through the line of Grandmothers and hit their sticks together again. Back to their neighbors¡¯.

    Then they straightened and settled into softer rhythmic beats as the line split into two and headed for either side of the platform. Once both new lines were in place on the right and left sides of the stage, they lowered themselves down to kneel on small cushions. The Echoes began to softly tap on the stage with their sticks. It sounded like rain. Then the first in each line began to make the sharp cracking sounds again and the whole group gradually sped up the tempo until I felt my heart in my throat.

    Crack. Crack. Crack.

    All the Echoes hit their sticks on the stage before crossing their arms to connect their sticks with their neighbors¡¯ and then finally hitting their sticks together again over their heads as they uncrossed their arms. They stayed in that position as the crowd sank to their knees and lifted their arms over their heads, wrists crossed and facing outward. It looked like a ripple flowing out through a lake of bodies. Once everyone in the crowd was bowing, the Echoes hit their sticks together with one final crack before lowering their hands to their sides.

    The Grandmothers had closed their line together when the Echoes¡¯ line had split. Grandmother stepped slightly forward from it and her voice rang out over the crowd. ¡°We are gathered in a valley made by a beast the goddess slew. Do you thank Her for Her shelter?¡±

    ¡°We thank Her.¡±

    ¡°We have two among us, singled out among us to face Flickermark¡¯s trial. What have you faced this year? Picker bands and bad weather? Illness and difficult game?¡± Grandmother scoffed. ¡°Do you thank the goddess for Her leniency?¡±

    ¡°We thank Her.¡±

    ¡°The goddess does not accept empty platitudes. What do you offer Her?¡±

    Hands slapped against knees in unison before the crowd held their prayer needles aloft. ¡°Blood.¡±

    ¡°What do you humble tribe members offer Her?¡±

    ¡°Blood!¡± This time the Echoes hit their sticks together with the crowd¡¯s shout.

    Grandmother pulled out her own prayer needle with the other Grandmothers. ¡°Then She shall have blood!¡±

    Fellen and I watched as nearly two thousand people pricked their wrists and let a drop of blood fall to the ground and the Echoes only used their red carved stick to hit the ground. The Grandmothers smeared their blood across their lips. A heartbeat later and every single drop dried up and flaked away into nothingness.

    Grandmother let the room breathe for a few moments before taking another two striding steps up to the pedestal. ¡°Let me tell you the tale of two girls who caught the eye of the goddess and lived. One now blessed twice over and the other who proves the goddess¡¯s wisdom in granting us fire. Let me tell you the tale of Gimley and Fellen of Gabbler Shore¡ªtwo who demonstrate the strength and will of the tribes to survive.¡±

    The Grandmothers stomped their right foot twice as the Echoes cracked their sticks together. As Grandmother began her account of the bridge breaking the Echoes provided a soft, simmering tapping to draw out the anticipation of the crowd. The other Grandmothers provided sound effects that were eerily realistic. Grandmother skipped over the fact Fellen¡¯s jumping had caused the bridge to break and instead focused on how I saved her despite our rivalry¡ªtribe sticks together became a reoccurring theme.

    It was interesting to see the crowd¡¯s reactions as she continued to spin the story. Those that were suspicious and uncertain were drawn in by her retelling of our struggle for survival. They were mollified when she recounted our lack of skill when it came to navigating and hunting, but that we managed to scrape by on gathering berries and such. I did my best to make sure that her story didn¡¯t sink me back into the vivid memories of our time in Flickermark. Grandmother had a way with words that was certainly better than our messy, rambling retelling.

    The one thing that made my back prickle with unease was wondering how she was going to present my blessing, and that unease kept growing as the story continued but she didn¡¯t mention it. It was one thing for me to decide to not reject my blessing, and another thing to leave it up to another person to explain to a crowd of people I mostly didn¡¯t know and had no reason to trust. But my survival also didn¡¯t make sense without it.

    Grandmother never touched on it. Instead, just like how she skimmed over the details of what she knew about the route we took, she lightened up the severity of our injuries and blood loss. In the story, I walked more on my own than I leaned on Fellen and we found plants to eat, not because of my healer¡¯s background¡ªthat was left out entirely¡ªbut because we had knowledge from traveling in Flickermark before. Anything that could lessen our standing as truly blessed by the goddess or that made us appear too weak, rather than lucky and resourceful children, was put to the wayside. It was then that my foolish naivety was quickly reminded that stories didn¡¯t always have to be the whole truth. Grandmother had an agenda, and striking a balance between that and the truth was what was important.

    Everyone in the crowd, during the course of the story, was supposed to forget everything they knew about Fellen and I, and instead view us as the pinnacle of our people, symbols of what we could accomplish if we worked hard and the goddess was in a favorable mood. If those who did know of us in the crowd re-framed how they thought of us after Grandmother¡¯s story than all the better. Anonymity would still be lost to us, but only because of the marks on our chins and nothing else.

    Grandmother swept into the last part of the story with more energy than I thought possible for her to show. ¡°After carefully navigating around the horde of shamble men, bravely confronting the reminder of the worst punishment the goddess has brought to bear, they reached the Grove. The tall stand of pine trees beautifully outlined by the sky above.¡± I had no recollection of even seeing the sky once we reached the Grove. ¡°With strength they had been reserving for that moment, the pair pulled out their prayer needles and offered their blood to the goddess, giving life to Her trees. She accepted and the trial was complete.¡± The Echoes ramped up their soft tapping as she continued after a pregnant pause, ¡°In the days following they received special care by a healer brought from the Seedling Palace. Three dots, the trial mark of Flickermark, were placed upon their chins and sanctified by the head whisper woman herself.¡±

    The Grandmothers began to move, the two sides of their line crossing and opening up a path as they turned to face the center of the platform in their new spots. Fellen and I scrambled to our feet and barely managed to be up in time to start walking before the crowd could see us. We walked forward, careful and dignified as we could be, to join Grandmother at the front of the stage.

    As soon as we reached her, she pricked both of her wrists and, using her thumbs, smeared the blood over the trial marks before turning back to her audience. ¡°The marks you can see now glittering like the night itself!¡±

    Murmurs swept through the crowd as the Echoes cracked their sticks to emphasis Grandmother¡¯s statement. Grandmother placed her hands on the back of our necks and pushed us to the very edge of the platform, just above where the goddess¡¯s eyes glowed from between the carved branches.

    ¡°One has pledged to become a Realmwalker¡ªto become one with the wisdom of all of the goddess¡¯s lands and embody her lessons! The other prepares to train in the Seedling Palace and lead our people as a whisper woman! Look upon them and remember that the goddess sees all!¡±

 Ch. 37: Burr of Friendship

    After Grandmother¡¯s grand ending to her story, Fellen and I were directed to sit on the edge of the platform so that everyone could look and remember that the goddess helped those who proved themselves worthy. I hated it. I never knew what to do when I was the center of attention and feeling queasy uncertainty always put me in a foul mood. Besides I caught myself scanning the crowd for the reactions of a select number of people¡ªpeople whose opinions no longer mattered in the slightest. I switched my attention to looking for Rawley and found her standing proud in a group of lone huntresses. Nole was there as well, giving Fellen an appraising look. I glanced at Fellen too¡ªjust in time to see her stare down a handful of kids from our tribe. With her head held high and a smug smile still on her lips, she got them to break and do their best to disappear into the crowd in less than ten seconds. Pride flickered in my chest at her accomplishment, but I looked back to the crowd before she could see it. I had to be careful not to let her closer than she already was.

    Lines of people were slowly circulating past the cook fires in the hall, collecting their portion of the celebration¡¯s feast before finding a place to settle down and eat. The smells of roasting russet backed boar, thick acorn bread, and sweet snow berry sauce filled the air. I was used to waiting for my meals, but after our time in Flickermark it was tempting to follow the delicious smells and get the food as soon as possible. We had to wait to eat until Grandmother gave us permission to leave the stage, though. For now we were reminders of the goddess--not hungry children.

    It felt like a whole week passed of stares and tempting food before Old Lily came and got us. She brought us back to where we had been waiting to go on the stage earlier and told us to stay put before bustling away again. The Grandmothers and their Echoes sat a little bit away on thick cushions as a handful of men brought them their meal¡ªan honor always given to them after a performance. Old Lily intercepted one of the servers and he promptly handed her the two bowls he was carrying. She returned to us with them.

    ¡°Your duties for tonight are over.¡± She smiled as we both relaxed in relief. ¡°Though I¡¯m sure there will be those who wish to speak with or look at you. Sister¡¯s story and your marks have certainly caused a stir.¡± She offered the bowls to us. ¡°You can take these and go eat with who you chose.¡±

    We took them and Fellen asked, ¡°Is there somewhere we can eat without everyone watching us?¡±

    Old Lily¡¯s smile widened. ¡°I thought you might ask that. Follow me.¡±

    We walked along the wall to the alcove closest to the stage and, irritatingly, even that was enough to still cause my legs to feel weak and tired. Old Lily brushed aside the alcove¡¯s covering. It was full of organized piles of storage sacks filled with dried food for the cold season as well as piles of fur blankets and even wood. Cutting down trees might be forbidden, but bushes and broken branches made the piles of firewood instead.

    In the middle of the stored items the open space for walking had been widened into a cozy area big enough for two people to sit. A glow stone was placed in the center of the area with two cushions placed on either side of it. Personal use of a glow stone was an extravagant luxury as the cushions were one of privilege. While everyone had at least a couple cushions to sit on in their tent, it was odd to take the cushions out of the tent, so nearly everyone in the hall sat on the floor. Sitting on one in public was a silent declaration that you had the ability to sit and relax as long as you wanted without worrying about anything else.

    Old Lily gestured for us to go inside and we listened, a little awed that the space had been prepared for us. ¡°Enjoy your meal,¡± she said, before stepping back and letting the covering fall back into place.

    I took the cushion on the left while Fellen sat on the right and waited for her to speak as I started to eat. I could tell she hadn¡¯t just wanted to get a reprieve from the watching eyes.

    Fellen ate a bite. And then another before setting the bowl aside. Even if I hadn¡¯t already realized something was wrong earlier, it was glaringly obvious then. She might have a small appetite normally, but having no desire to eat feast food? That was highly unusual.

    She sucked in a sharp breath before meeting my gaze. ¡°Ma¡¯s been overprotective since we got back. She used to fret about me getting injured¡ªthat¡¯s why it took a lot of convincing for her to let me become a huntress apprentice¡ªbut now she acts like I¡¯m going to disappear if I go anywhere without her.¡± Her eyebrows pressed together in annoyance. ¡°She doesn¡¯t want me to see you anymore. She thinks you¡¯re dangerous.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t really deny that. Even if she had deserved it at the time, I had made her sick and then punched her during the first couple times we met. Not that Fellen knew about that first instance.

    Fellen crossed her arms as characteristic mulishness settled over her features. ¡°She thinks you put the idea of becoming a Realmwalker in my head.¡± The need to argue that she shouldn¡¯t do that rose up in my throat, but she continued on before I could get a word in. ¡°Which is stupid, of course. That was my decision, fair and square.¡± Fellen¡¯s chin rose. ¡°I¡¯m not going to listen to her. You finally admitted to being my rival¡ªI¡¯m not going to let that go so quick. I have too many competitions I want to beat you in.¡±

    But she would go. I knew how limiting a watchful mother could be. A chill swept down over my scalp and back. Fellen would be gone sooner than even I had thought. I had hoped¡ªbut that didn¡¯t matter now. And it had been a foolish thing to do regardless.

    Fellen trapped in a tent.

    The thought had an untenable quality to it.

    But even if she did manage to sneak out there would be punishments when she returned. Her mother might have only denied her meals in the past, but desperation might push her to subtler and worse punishments.

    My bowl slipped from my fingers as my breathing quickened. Luckily, it didn¡¯t have far to fall and only wobbled for a few moments before staying upright.

    Fellen¡¯s voice sounded distant as her eyes flared with concern. ¡°Gimley? Are you alright?¡±

    Trapped in a tent.

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    Even when the person doing the trapping wasn¡¯t there. Sometimes even when I was outside the tent but still with her. Only rarely had the appeal of going outside had been worthy it.

    There were subtler punishments.

    Forcing me to go over my escape plan and criticizing every step for its desperation, its simplicity, its foolishness. Painstakingly, spitefully, going over the difference between smart and clever, and how foolhardy and difficult the latter was. Lavishing extra love on the twins while lauding them as good children who listened, not their shameful, difficult sister, while I watched. Withholding teaching the healer¡¯s craft because why should she bother wasting time on someone who would rather be lazy and undisciplined on a hill somewhere? Tribe members watching in distrust and avoiding me as I walked by, murmuring to each other about that ungrateful healer¡¯s daughter.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    I gritted my teeth and pulled myself out of the memories. It felt like it took a small eternity to push them down far enough that I could ignore them to focus on Fellen. She had moved so that she knelt on my left, hand hovering in the air over my shoulder.

    She pulled her hand back. ¡°What happened? Was it like before? In the thin ravines?¡± She swallowed before gathering herself again. ¡°Was it something I said?¡±

    For some stupid reason I felt like crying, but no tears gathered. ¡°Similar.¡± I looked away to the floor. ¡°You don¡¯t need to sneak away for my sake. It¡¯s not worth it.¡±

    A heartbeat of silence and then¡ª

    ¡°How dare you.¡± Unexpected, strangled outrage coated Fellen¡¯s voice. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you just remembered, but you better take back what you just said and stop making everything about you.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t¡ª¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be getting away just for you. I would need break from Ma and I can handle myself. Besides, she needs to understand that even if I leave her sight I¡¯ll return later, or she¡¯ll start to interfere with training.¡± She paused before demanding, ¡°Do you want me to leave you alone?¡±

    It¡¯d be easier. But even as I thought that, I couldn¡¯t stop painful slivers of fear and denial from piercing my heart. Still, I opened up my mouth to lie. ¡°Yes.¡±

    Her hands clenched as her gaze bore into me. ¡°That¡¯s a lie. You pressed your lips together for a moment before you spoke. So take that back, too.¡±

    I became overly conscious of my mouth as I tried to lie a second time but Fellen cut me off again. ¡°I already know you don¡¯t really want to get rid of me. Just take back what you said.¡±

    I faltered. ¡°It¡¯d be easier¡­¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°How would not seeing my only friend be easier?¡±

    I knew the answer to this one. ¡°We¡¯re rivals.¡±

    Fellen gave me look that said I was being dense. ¡°Yeah, and rivals are a special type of friend.¡±

    That was when I really looked at her and realized that she would have a counter for everything I said. The mulish set to her jaw was enough evidence for that, as was the concern still hovering behind her frustrated anger. A sense of defeat washed over me but, for once, it wasn¡¯t soul wrenching and terrible.

    ¡°Why do you have to be such a burr?¡±

    ¡°Do you take back what you said?¡±

    I sighed. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± She relaxed back onto her heels. ¡°I told you that I wouldn¡¯t be easy to get rid of. I¡¯m not going to be the person who just gives up anymore.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but pushing her one more time to convince myself of her resolve. ¡°We¡¯ll have to go our own separate ways eventually.¡±

    Fellen gave me a baleful look. ¡°If you don¡¯t stop trying to push me away, I¡¯m going to hug you.¡± She continued after I looked appropriately regretful. ¡°Eventually you¡¯ll go to the Seedling Palace and I¡¯ll leave to go to the next trial, but that doesn¡¯t mean we won¡¯t see each other again or that we have to stop being rivals now.¡±

    ¡°Your mother doesn¡¯t want us to be.¡± It was only after I was reflexively contrary again that I realized what I¡¯d done.

    Fellen grinned. ¡°You asked for it.¡±

    And then she swept in and wrapped me in a tight hug. I sat stock still, not sure what to do even if she hadn¡¯t trapped my arms against my body.

    Before she pulled back she whispered, ¡°Remember this instead of whatever your mother did next time.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t think of anything to say as she made her way back to her cushion and picked up her bowl before starting to eat. Instead, I mirrored her and finished eating my food as well.

    A while later a whistle sounded from outside the alcove. I recognized it and whistled back to let Rawley know she could enter. She did, with Nole on her heels.

    She smiled when she saw Fellen and I sitting together. ¡°Congratulations on becoming the focus of a Grandmother¡¯s Tale. They¡¯re starting to make snow art outside, if you¡¯re interested. Dancing should also start soon.¡±

    Fellen and I shared a look. Neither of us really wanted to deal with being stared at more, but snow art was difficult to pass up. I had never really participated in the dances¡ªthough watching them could be fun¡ªand I rather do something I could participate in.

    Fellen answered her. ¡°We¡¯ll go do snow art.¡±

    Our mentors helped us drop off our bowls by the cooking fires before we bundled up in our cloaks and gloves and headed outside. The sky was a beautiful blaze of orange and yellow as the sun set over the west mountains. Families, friends, and couples were all spread out over the broad area in front of the meeting hall using their hands or sticks to draw images in the snow. Some kept their art flat while others packed snow together to create different images. I saw a group of huntresses making a rough map of the valley, complete with rising mountains and a skinny trench dug into the snow for the river. A family was creating snow people in their likeness at the insistence of the eldest daughter. A couple was holding hands as they drew a complex pattern in the snow.

    Rawley and Nole helped Fellen and I to a clear spot. As we walked past people stopped and turned to look, but no one approached. That would be saved for later, when those who were curious and brave enough could do it a little more privately and under the pretense of doing something else.

    Nole gestured to the undisturbed snow. ¡°Any ideas?¡±

    ¡°A tent. We can roll a ball or build a mound and then dig out the inside.¡± Fellen looked very proud of herself.

    Nole¡¯s eyebrows rose. ¡°Feeling confident?¡±

    In answer Fellen started to push snow together. We decided to make a mound instead of rolling a ball because it seemed more likely to stay together and Fellen and I didn¡¯t have the walking strength to make a ball big enough to dig the middle out. As it was, Rawley and Nole did most of the heavy lifting. Crest, Keili and Veris wandered out of the meeting hall when we were still building up the mound of snow as well and came over to help. Apparently, they were taking a break from dancing. There was some awkwardness when they first arrived now that they knew the meaning of the chin mark, but after a look from Rawley the three offered quick congratulations before acting like nothing changed. Namely, that meant they interacted with Rawley and Nole more than Fellen and I, but I liked it better that way, anyways.

    The snow tent was an almost complete success. We managed to dig out the middle big enough that Fellen and I could both sit inside, but then we got ambitious and tried to make it bigger. That¡¯s when part of ceiling collapsed. The sunlight was almost gone by then, so instead of fixing it we had to go back into the meeting hall. Fellen and I sat together as our mentors and their friends spun and stepped through the formation dances. It looked fun and intricate, and part of me wanted my body to hurry and recover so that I could join them.

 Ch. 38: Murmurs

    Over the next week or so, many different people found excuses to enter the meeting hall and wander close enough to the lone huntress¡¯s area to get a good look at me. I didn¡¯t let them get away with their pretense. Every time I felt a gaze focus on me I would snap my own gaze up from whatever project Rawley had given me and stare down the source as soon as I found it. Some got flustered, some simply acknowledged me before going on their way, and some kept looking which inevitably turned into a battle of wills. I only averted my eyes for the Grandmothers¡ªeveryone else I was determined to beat. They might view me as young and immeasurably lucky, but I was determined to show them at least a sliver of the will that helped me get through Flickermark. Nor did they have the right to ogle me like I was a reindeer who had suddenly grown a third antler. I wasn¡¯t about to hide. I had no reason to be ashamed of my trial mark; even if there had been some luck involved, Fellen and I hadn¡¯t shied away from the challenges presented to us.

    Fellen¡¯s mom was doing her best to keep Fellen out of sight and out of mind, however. From what I gathered, she didn¡¯t want her daughter reminded of her traumatic experience. I knew that Fellen had nightmares of some of our experiences in Flickermark, like the walk through the shamble men, but I also knew Fellen was more than capable of reflecting on and talking about them if she was inclined to. Her mother was overcome by her own insecurities. And that was having an irritating, averse relationship on Fellen¡¯s reputation and her standing as a trial mark holder. I heard whispers that I had carried her through the trial and that she didn¡¯t deserve her mark. Others scoffed at the idea that she would become a Realmwalker. I felt irritation bubbling under my skin every time I heard it. I might not want her to take on the foolhardy risk of doing one more trial¡ªlet alone three¡ªbut it was also grating to have people superficially judge her abilities because of her mother. There was never anything pleasant about the experience.

    Not to mention that a sizable portion of the people her mother turned away came to me instead. The first person to approach me had been one of those¡ªjust to add insult to injury. She was another weaver and felter of the Gabbler Shore Tribe. I assumed she was one of Lendra¡¯s friends who got snubbed when they tried to covertly pry about her daughter. I had watched as the short woman made her way to me only to ask if I knew where Rawley had gone. We both knew that she had waited until my mentor stepped away to approach, so I didn¡¯t honor that question with a response.

    Instead I leveled my best glare at her and said, ¡°You heard all you need to know in Grandmother¡¯s story. If you have time to waste go bother someone else.¡±

    At that she looked more miffed than embarrassed, but I didn¡¯t feel like wasting patience and manners on someone who thought they could pry into my background. If she wanted to know what happened and what it was like, she could go do the trial herself.

    ¡°You should watch your tone with your elders, child.¡±

    I tapped my chin to draw her attention to the trial mark. ¡°Being favored by the goddess trumps age. Besides, you¡¯re the one who decided to cast aside all dignity and beg for answers.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not¡ª¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t tell you the path we took through Flickermark. Spread that around if you¡¯re so interested in having a unique bit of gossip.¡±

    Her face had gone red and blotchy. ¡°Watch your tongue. You were naught but a wretched slip of a healer¡¯s daughter a handful of months ago and we both know you weren¡¯t good enough to be that.¡±

    Old fury boiled in my gut as I entertained a brief daydream of the weaver running from a bane pack. I knew this woman, for all that I couldn¡¯t be bothered to give her the courtesy of using her name. She had no right to cast doubt on my abilities. ¡°I helped save both you and your son when the birth was difficult. I stitched up your husband after he sliced his leg open on that rock. Last I heard there¡¯s barely a scar.¡± I narrowed my eyes at her. ¡°Perhaps you should reflect on your own skills before casting doubt on someone else¡¯s. Do you know more than the common plants in Flickermark and what parts are edible? Could you find your way through that maze without a huntress guiding you?¡± I smirked and brushed a hand on my dress. ¡°I thought most people went to Lendra for her work before they even consider turning to you.¡±

    I deliberately ignored her mortified outrage and refocused on the cord I was twining together. As I started to dampen the strands again I heard her leave¡ªnearly stomping. I allowed myself a small private smile at the victory.

    Others weren¡¯t so antagonistic, but instead redoubled their efforts to hear the story of how we completed the trial when I tried to shut them down. The most annoying were the ones who would keep asking questions even when I ignored them. Their curiosity was too strong for them to care about following basic social cues, much less manners. They would only leave when Rawley leveled her status as a skilled huntress against them, though sometimes even she had to also remind them how close they were treading to questioning Grandmother¡¯s authority.

    The worst two encounters by far, however, were when the twins came to make sure I still knew what they thought my place should be and when Father finally worked up enough courage to check on my wellbeing. Even if I had to be bothered by idiots for the rest of eternity as a consequence of my new fame, I would have preferred that over the slow agony of those two short conversations.

    The twins came first, with Adley marching in the lead. It was a peculiar, bitter sweet feeling to hear and watch their beads clink together while feeling the lack of my own. I had little doubt they viewed the healing craft as the lifeline that I had. Instead, for them, it was a burden that they were required to suffer.

    I set down the basket of stones I was sorting through for good throwing stones. Rawley sat near with Crest as they worked on preparing a large reindeer skin. She glanced at me before giving me the smallest nod¡ªagreeing to let me handle the encounter. Crest stiffened and glanced at the approaching twins and then me after Rawley murmured in her ear before smoothly returning to her work with Rawley. I could tell they both had an ear on the situation, however.

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    I didn¡¯t need to peer past them to see if a particular gaze cut across the meeting hall to watch us from the healer¡¯s area. If she had been anywhere in the building, the twins wouldn¡¯t have risked her ire by approaching me. Still, Kem kept glancing at the doors leading outside as if she might reappear any moment which greatly reduced the air of superiority and confidence Adley was vainly striving for.

    Adley planted her fists on her hips a few steps in front of me and glowered. ¡°Don¡¯t think receiving a trial mark will get Mother to take you back in. She¡¯s more than satisfied with us.¡±

    Kem peeked out from over her shoulder. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    I lifted my eyebrows. ¡°Are you trying to say you don¡¯t cause a fuss every time you need to learn something new? Because I highly doubt that.¡±

    Adley smirked down at me. ¡°Mother says I¡¯m a better apprentice than you ever were.¡±

    ¡°That just means you¡¯re easy to manipulate.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Why are you bothering me? You made what you thought of me last time quite clear.¡±

    Surprisingly, it was Kem who answered. ¡°Earning something from luck doesn¡¯t mean anything. Everyone¡¯s making fun of you behind your back!¡±

    Ah. Her thirst for recognition had wormed its way into them too. Loss of social standing was one of the worst things that could befall a person¡ªespecially when one had precious little to lose.

    I forced an easy smile on my face and shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t care what they think.¡± It was partially true¡ªonce I became a whisper woman my social standing in the tribe shouldn¡¯t matter anymore. I pointed at the twins. ¡°You¡¯re opinion also doesn¡¯t matter. It doesn¡¯t change the truth: Fellen and I earned our marks. Or if you want to prove that one of the goddess¡¯s trials can be completed purely on luck, I welcome you to try your own hand at it.¡±

    Adley¡¯s jaw worked before she burst out, ¡°You¡¯re still useless! Kem and I could do it if we wanted!¡±

    I burst out laughing.

    The absurdity of the twins¡ªwho relied on others more than most¡ªlasting more than night in Flickermark on their own was too much. They would be at a loss if she ever stopped praising them, much less cut them loose from her support. They had never had to fully face the rough truth of what it meant to be a healer¡¯s child.

    I gained enough control of myself to cut through the last shreds of their confidence with a malicious smile. ¡°I know where I stand with those around me. You¡¯re the ones people are making fun of behind your back. Or did you think the reason why your so called friends suddenly have less time for you is because of something I did?¡± I let sink in for a moment. ¡°I could care less. But congratulations¡ªthe more you learn, the more you¡¯ll end up like me.¡±

    Adley stared at me, frozen. Kem shuddered and couldn¡¯t keep his eyes still.

    I was their worst nightmare. They had their whole lifetime to learn that lesson, just as they had all that time to take for granted the small privileges they were afforded.

    Kem reached down and tugged on Adley¡¯s hand. She couldn¡¯t help but get in the last word.

    ¡°We¡¯ll never be like you!¡±

    Then they all but ran away.

    Rawley smoothly rose and walked over to me before kneeling back down. Her soft, inquiring gaze settled over me like a light blanket, smothering most of the embers of anger in my chest. ¡°You know where you stand with me, Gimley?¡±

    I nodded, grateful she didn¡¯t push further. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Good. I know this isn¡¯t the time, but my offer still stands.¡±

    She returned to Crest and I returned to my sorting.

    The encounter with Father was less public. He waited until I was on one of my short walks that I had started to do to build up my strength. I used the wall for support so that I wouldn¡¯t need the constant embarrassment of leaning on someone else. It was bad enough that more people than I would like watched my progress with an avid eye.

    I had just reached the alcove that I used as the marker to turn around when I heard my old name whisper out of its depths.

    ¡°Gimlea.¡±

    I froze. Sour recognition of the deep voice and the probing pain of that old name locking my limbs.

    ¡°Gimlea, I need to talk to you. Come here.¡±

    And that was all the spark I needed to set my temper burning. I welcomed the anger as it warmed my belly and loosened my limbs. How dare he think he had the right to talk to me now after everything? After having years of opportunities to do more than offer brief words of comfort when it was convenient or apologies for her behavior, he thought he had the right to command me? He was better absent.

    I glared at the dark, covered alcove picturing his premature graying hair knotted back and prominent cheekbones under submissive eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know anyone named Gimlea. Perhaps if you didn¡¯t hide out of sight and only spoke to people when it was convenient for you, you would know that.¡±

    I turned to leave but a hand snaked out of the alcove and grabbed my wrist. ¡°Gimlea!¡± I could easily picture the panic covering his features as he realized he was losing his easy solution to his troubles. ¡°How are you?¡±

    I snorted. That was the best he could do? I wrenched my wrist from him.

    ¡°Doing just fine pretending you don¡¯t exist.¡±

    I left then and felt vindicated when he didn¡¯t try to stop me again. After all, pretending someone didn¡¯t exist was a talent I learned from him.

    - -

    As time wore on the rumors grew. Soon after my confrontation with the weaver, my past as a healer¡¯s daughter started circulating and wearing holes in people¡¯s belief that I had earned my trial mark, that the goddess would really favor me. But even that got more convoluted as, at some point, my name got switched out with Fellen¡¯s and people started wild rumors to bridge the idea she used to be a healer¡¯s daughter with the fact that she was Lendra¡¯s daughter. Murmurs that Lendra had done a rare thing and adopted her or that Fellen had been interested in the craft circulated. People used them to justify how they viewed her: a weak child without resolve who got by on luck.

    I was affronted on her behalf and my own. In a few sentences they wiped away the years of effort I had put in and gifted them to another, besides the fact that I knew just how much effort and resolve Fellen had exhibited during the trial. But people were having reconciling their lofty idea of the type of person capable of completing a trial and the type of person who hides away in a tent while her mother protects her¡ªnot that Fellen had much choice. She did escape to see me when she could and do what training she could with Nole, but Lendra had no desire to stop doing what she could to ¡°protect¡± her daughter.

    Others simply couldn¡¯t get over the fact that we were both girls and thus not even to our blooding years. They spread rumors that questioned whether we were really up to the goddess¡¯s standards and focused more on the lucky moments in Grandmother¡¯s story than when we had shown our skills. Some even speculated that we had lied about marks or cheated somehow, but given that everyone knew how quickly double crossers of the goddess were dealt with few entertained those notions for long. As the rumors and speculation continued they all circled around a single question: how much of our progress during the trial boiled down to skill and our resolve, and how much was attributed to luck?

 Ch. 39: Mental Trap

    I pushed the time frame it should have taken me to recover so that I would be less predictable to the people who thought they had a right to talk to me. Being able to walk again without needing help also came with the benefit that Rawley could teach me more interesting lessons outside the meeting hall. My shoulder and my back wound still needed more time to heal however, so I got to stay with Rawley in the lone huntress quarters.

    In the end, I was up and walking around for decent amounts of time a few days before Rawley decided to take me out on a hunting trip. She was ready to take a break from all the people staring at us too. With no Pack hunts planned during those days and lone huntresses having the ability to make their own schedule, Keili, Veris, Crest, and Nole joined us too. Nole even managed to convince Lendra to let Fellen join in by omitting my presence and highlighting the value of the experience.

    We didn¡¯t go far. Outside the valley, the cold season was a much harsher thing to experience. So we took shelter in the forest that swept down off the mountains and blanketed their foothills. Rawley led us to a thicket about a half mile from the Folds. Inside the thick stand of trees was a small clearing, big enough for the huntress¡¯s tents and a campfire and little else.

    Veris grinned at Rawley after she slipped in under the trees¡¯ branches. ¡°You always know the best hidden spots.¡±

    My mentor gave her an easy smile in return. ¡°It comes with paying attention.¡±

    Veris laughed and shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s what you and Keili are good for. I would much rather be thinking about something more exciting than counting every pine needle and snowflake I pass.¡±

    ¡°Planning your next design?¡±

    They continued the conversation as we began to stomp down the snow in the clearing. I learned that Veris enjoyed the tedious work of creating detailed bone hairpins and ear cuffs. Her current piece was an antler shaped hairpin. For a moment I considered asking if I could trade her for one but then I pushed the thought away. I didn¡¯t have anything worth trading and I didn¡¯t need one just because Fellen had looked pretty in hers.

    Once the snow was packed down, we set up the tents and then pressed snow around the bottom edges to help keep them in place and insulate them. It had already been decided that Fellen and I would get to share my mentor¡¯s tent. Rawley would be sleeping with Crest and Nole would appreciate having some extra room in her tent.

    It was interesting watching Rawley as we settled into the clearing. While she still held herself a little bit distant and tended to ask more questions than she answered, she seemed to relax. Both her and Crest were more openly affectionate now they were surrounded by trusted friends and no longer in the public eye. Even female pairings weren¡¯t exempt from the stigma of showing too much affection in public.

    We didn¡¯t hunt that day. By the time we reached the clearing and got everything set up, we only had a couple hours until sunset. Instead, Fellen and I were tasked with cooking a vegetable dinner and heating up the stones that would keep the tents warm at night while they collected more sticks and fallen branches for future fires.

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    Fellen and I made a game out of cooking by competing to see whose food was throughly cooked and the least burned. Fellen was better at it than me. I had a tendency to leave the roots I was cooking over the fire too long, just to make sure they were done. They all got cooked enough, but most of them also got a little singed. I let Fellen gloat over her victory for a bit before casually asking if she could find the roots on her own. She rolled her eyes and told me that I didn¡¯t get to count victories for challenges we hadn¡¯t actually done.

    When the huntresses all returned they made a pile of kindling before settling around the fire to eat their meal. I froze a little when Crest sat by my right side instead of making her way to sit on Rawley¡¯s other side. I also noticed that she purposefully took one of the meals I made.

    After taking a bite she gave me an awkward half smile. ¡°Interesting flavor.¡±

    It was the wrong thing to say. I might be able to let Fellen have her fun, but someone I barely knew? She might be my mentor¡¯s lover, but that didn¡¯t mean she could say whatever she wanted. And even if she had meant it as a kindness, I didn¡¯t know how to respond to that. And I didn¡¯t like that uncertainty, so I leaned hard into the flicker of anger that rose at her words.

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to coddle me. Eat some of Fellen¡¯s if you don¡¯t want the burned taste.¡±

    Everyone else but Rawley had.

    Rawley¡¯s quiet voice cut through the shocked silence. ¡°Gimley.¡±

    Father¡¯s voice echoed her in my head, Gimlea¡­

    The next moment stretched and stretched and stretched as that was all it took to shift my perception of the evening. What had simply been a comforting time away from prying eyes became¡ªin my mind¡¯s eye¡ªthe enticing bait dangling in one of Rawley¡¯s traps. A trap I could feel closing in around me.

    This could all be false comfort, just as he had been. Worthless and only causing pain in the end. I hated how easily I had been drawn in again even though I knew the dangers of getting close to other people. I wanted to fully trust Rawley and Fellen, but I could always feel the potential damage building and lurking behind every interaction. My hands were full keeping track of that tally. And now another person possibly wanted in?

    I would drown.

    Like a fish that swam into a trap all on its own and then found that the entrance to get back out was smaller than when it went in. That fish got dragged out of the lake and suffocated. Dying in a place it didn¡¯t belong.

    Protection was more important than comfort. I might not be able to distance myself from Rawley and Fellen without being hurt, but I could at least stop that from happening again.

    I kept my gaze on Crest and poured as much loathing as I could into it, as if I was glaring at her. ¡°Or get touched by a shamble man. I could care less either way.¡±

    A part of me immediately regretted the words, but I didn¡¯t take them back. Not even when I felt Rawley¡¯s slow anger bubbling up on my other side and Fellen¡¯s shock from across the fire. If I took them back there wouldn¡¯t be anything protecting me anymore. I would be weak and vulnerable¡ªa fool who patiently waited for someone to inevitably rip their heart to shreds and who had no way to stop the bleeding.

    Strong fingers cupped the side of my face, firmly forcing me to twist around to face Rawley.

    And my heart tore a bit anyway.

    Anger I understood. That I could stand. But that mix of disappointment and empathy that also crowded the stern look Rawley was giving me? That was both too close to when I had been abandoned and too alien to what I knew.

    ¡°Go think on what you just did and why you did it.¡±

    I knew better than to argue, and I had no desire to be around that trap of campfire any longer.

    I went.

 Ch. 40: Snared

    I think Rawley meant for me to go into my tent¡ªI didn¡¯t. That would be too much like a sullen, pouting child. I was none of those things.

    Besides the tent was just another cage. Confining, censoring. I didn¡¯t want to sit and think; I knew my reasons for what I did. What I wanted--what I needed was to get away from all the eyes watching me and the expectations. If I had a lumpy brown cushion under my butt and had been reciting healer¡¯s recipes for the past week and a half, that time could have been exchanged for nearly any period of the past three years. I had even been reprimanded for defending myself.

    I shoved my way out of the clearing, ignoring the branches and twigs that scraped my face and hands, and caught on my clothes. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to squirm around on the ground underneath them. As soon as I stepped out of the clearing a fresh breath of cold wind stung my eyes. Dried out my mouth. I ignored that too.

    I didn¡¯t need empathy. Pity. I was fine on my own. I didn¡¯t need the stress of trying to handle more people. I didn¡¯t want to drown.

    No one seemed to care, or even understand, those basic facts.

    They just kept pushing and prodding with their own interests, not caring if I suffocated under the weight of them all. I wasn¡¯t weak, but even I knew I had limits.

    I didn¡¯t catalog my surrounds like I should have as I stomped through the snowy forest. Didn¡¯t mark the position of the clearing in relation to where I was going in my mind. Making sure I didn¡¯t stride headlong into a tree was the most I focused on.

    Which is how I ended up laying face down in the snow with a thin cord cutting into my calf. The mortification of being caught in a snare swamped my indigent anger, so I didn¡¯t know if I should cry, laugh, or scream. Or even if I was capable of any of the three.

    The apprentice of a trapper fleeing from one trap straight into another. There was a rumor to set tribe members snickering. If facing Rawley was going to be difficult after what I said by the fire, that was doubly true now.

    Useless.

    I hit the snow and rolled over. That, despite everything, was something I knew Rawley would never say.

    The stars were clear and bright through the tree branches and pine needles. For some reason they looked closer than they had in Flickermark. Like if I found the tallest tree in the forest and climbed it, I could reach up and touch them.

    ¡°Tough day?¡±

    I gritted my teeth as Crest¡¯s clear and precise voice slid into the crisp night air. The last thing I needed or waned was another conversation with her. She didn¡¯t seem to mind when I failed to answer. Instead, she settled against a nearby tree to my left.

    ¡°Me too. My partner¡¯s apprentice said I should get touched by a shamble man, but I wasn¡¯t really in the mood to lose my soul.¡±

    I gaped at her.

    She took that as an invitation to keep going as she spread her hands. ¡°I think we need to come to an understanding.¡± She indicated herself before gesturing towards me. ¡°I¡¯m not good at getting to know new people. You have some vendetta against it. Perhaps we can both skip the small talk and agree to be friendly without it going any deeper than that?¡±

    I did my best to ignore my current embarrassing situation and add scorn to my voice. ¡°Why do you care?¡±

    The awkward half smile returned as she gestured back the way we came. ¡°Rawley. She wanted her partner and her apprentice to get along. So for her sake, why don¡¯t we act polite and watch each other¡¯s backs on hunts? And for our own sake, it doesn¡¯t need to go any deeper than that. No deep questions asked, no difficult feelings.¡±

    I could keep her at a distance¡­I wouldn¡¯t be in danger of drowning then. Some of the panic that had been suffocating me since Crest sat by me at the campfire dissipated. I could be civil for Rawley¡¯s sake.

    ¡°Fine.¡±

    After another long moment, I sat up with an inward sigh and started to use my eating knife to cut the snare from my leg.

    Crest watched as I worked. ¡°She does good work, doesn¡¯t she? She set a handful of those around while we were collecting tinder earlier.¡±

    I figured as much. All huntresses used traps and snares to some extent, but Rawley¡¯s specialization was a rare thing. Few others used the devices as much as she did.

    I stood as soon as I cut myself free¡ªdetermined to set the stupid incident behind me. Crest took up the cord and began to further fray the cut ends with her own knife once I dropped the snare.

    My eyebrows drew together. ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    She quirked her lips mischievously. ¡°Having a bit of fun.¡±

    I watched as she continued to fray the cord before setting it back onto the snow. Then she went about meticulously making rabbit tracks with her hands as best she could. She even covered the cord slightly with snow to make it look like the rabbit kicked snow back onto it and added slight drag marks to make it look like it was favoring a leg.

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    I was drawn into the ruse despite myself. ¡°What about our footprints and the spot where I landed?¡±

    The mess of disturbed snow and tracks were currently making Crest¡¯s efforts pointless.

    Crest shrugged one shoulder. ¡°Find a fallen branch with needles.¡±

    I listened even though it grated at me. It was better to have something to do, something to focus on. It took me a while to find a small branch that had broken off a nearby tree and gotten stuck in the lower branches. Once I spotted it, however, I was able to shake it free fairly quickly.

    When I returned Crest was putting the final touches on her rabbit tracks leading up to where the snare had been. We used the branch to obscure our footprints and further disturb the snow where I had fallen, so that hopefully it looked like it was caused by the rabbit¡¯s struggles.

    I was ready to head back to the camp at that point, but Crest insisted that we had to get rid of the branch and make new tracks, so that they didn¡¯t just abruptly end before the rabbit tracks. Crest threw the branch up into a tree and we both tactfully didn¡¯t mention my hurt shoulder. Then we made it looked like I had paced back and forth in a spot away from the snare while we had our conversation and Crest stood nearby. After that I was vainly trying to cover up yawns as Crest led me back to camp.

    I saw some surprised looks when we entered the clearing together, but no one, including Rawley commented. She just watched quietly as I entered my tent and Crest made her way over to the low burning fire. Fellen was already asleep when I entered, no doubt lulled to sleep from the warmth of the heat stone despite her worries. I quickly followed her example.

    - -

    The next morning Rawley collected me before Fellen woke up to check on the snares she set with Crest. It wasn¡¯t really a three person job, but I didn¡¯t argue. Crest walked on Rawley¡¯s left, holding her hand, while I walked on her right, a couple steps behind. I didn¡¯t think that would save me from the conversation that was to come, but it felt safer.

    Rawley spent the first few minutes of the walk soaking up the sights and sounds of the forest around us, and I did the same just in case there was a quiz later. The air was still cold, but there was also a brush of warmth when I stepped into a patch of sunlight. A few birds trilled and called to each other while the rustle of branches and pine needles filled in the silence whenever a breeze brushed by. The snow was bright in the sunlight and, despite the cold, I was glad for the trees¡¯ shadows since they made it easier to see. The snow resting on trees¡¯ branches and the icicles here and there did make for a pretty scene, however.

    ¡°I heard you reached an understanding?¡±

    My attention narrowed down to focus on Rawley¡ªand tangentially Crest. I knew I hadn¡¯t fully experienced my mentor¡¯s ire yet, and I wanted to be fully prepared.

    ¡°We did.¡±

    Crest nodded in agreement.

    ¡°Good.¡± Rawley stopped walking and half turned to face me. ¡°Was this like when you threw Fellen¡¯s sling into river?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t meet her gaze. ¡°Yes.¡±

    She sighed. ¡°I thought as much. Gimley?¡± She waited until I dragged my gaze up from the ground and looked at her. ¡°Don¡¯t ever invite such ill will onto my partner again. I understand that you have some¡­unfortunate things you¡¯re working through, and my offer is still open, but there are some things I won¡¯t accept. Do you understand?¡±

    My chest tightened both at the thought of¡­no longer being her apprentice and what she could do to me if I ever had to take the brunt of her anger. ¡°I understand.¡±

    She nodded and we kept walking.

    The first couple snares we checked were empty, the third held a dead fox that I was given to carry, and the fourth was the one I got caught in.

    Rawley looked over the broken snare, disturbed snow, and fake rabbit tracks with a critical eye. I saw her stiffen a bit at the unexpected scene.

    Crest put just the right amount of shock into her voice, so that if I hadn¡¯t helped her last night I wouldn¡¯t have thought it had anything to do with her. ¡°One of your snares broke?¡±

    Still, Rawley shot her a glance before taking another detailed look at the scene. Then a smile warmed her voice as she said, ¡°You and your tricks,¡± before she leaned down to kiss Crest¡¯s temple.

    Crest rolled her eyes good-naturedly. ¡°How did you figure it out?¡±

    Rawley gestured to where I had fallen. ¡°That disturbed snow is too big for the rabbit to have made it.¡± Then the tracks. ¡°The paw prints aren¡¯t detailed enough.¡± Finally she picked up the snare. ¡°And despite what you did to it, the cord is too finely cut.¡±

    It was true that our work in the daylight didn¡¯t hold up to what I had thought we¡¯d achieved the night before.

    Rawley raised her eyebrows. ¡°Might I ask why you decided to ruin a perfectly good snare?¡±

    Crest ran her fingers through her hair and shrugged. ¡°The opportunity presented itself.¡±

    Rawley glanced at me, at the disturbed snow, at the snare in her hand. A soft huff of laughter escaped her before she cleared her throat. ¡°I see.¡± She turned back to me. ¡°Remind me to work on your trap related skills in the near future.¡±

    Face and ears burning, I nodded.

    We went to the last snare after that which did actually hold a rabbit. Rawley took the fox then, for which I was quietly grateful, in exchange for the rabbit. I think she wanted to give me some extra strength training through carrying them, but the dead weight of the fox, even over my good shoulder, had been a strain.

    When we arrived back at the camp everyone was up and back around the campfire as breakfast cooked. Fellen got up and hurried over to me as Crest collected the rabbit from me. Rawley and her continued over to the fire to talk with the others while Fellen and I stopped in the middle of the clearing.

    She leaned in close. ¡°Are you all right?¡±

    I tried to smile at her, but it came out as more of a grimace. ¡°Yeah. Rawley wasn¡¯t that harsh.¡±

    Worry clouded her face. ¡°You didn¡¯t mean what you said last night, right?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t bring myself to explain my reasoning for what I¡¯d done or take it back. I still needed the protection. ¡°I¡­we reached an understanding.¡±

    I knew that she knew that I was holding something back, but even though I could see the questions hovering on her lips, she kept them to herself. Instead, she said, ¡°I know you just went through it with them, so I¡¯m not going to push you, but you shouldn¡¯t wish that on anyone. Not when you experienced how horrible they are.¡±

    I nodded to appease her, though I wasn¡¯t sure I could keep the promise. ¡°I know.¡±

    Fellen smiled and it felt like a sliver dug into my chest.

 Ch. 41: Boar Hunt

    That day and the next were relatively peaceful, though I noticed everyone stepped a little lighter around me. I pretended not to notice; I had no desire to be pulled into explaining myself more than I already had. The time was spent improving our trapping and sling skills as well as learning the basics of Pack hunting. Rawley and Nole were both advocates of thorough, well rounded training.

    A Pack hunt was planned on the third full day of the trip. Experience was the best teacher.

    To prepare, Fellen and I were both given a spear to practice with and I immediately wanted to put it down and go back to practicing with my sling. Rawley had gone over the very basics of the weapon, such as how to hold it to get the most force out of an attack, at Gabbler Shore but those lessons had been more focused on hunting fish and much more infrequent compared to practicing with a sling. Lone huntresses were more suited to ranged weapons¡ªno one wanted to be the idiot who attacked medium sized prey on their own with only a five foot piece of stone and wood to protect you. That was like asking to get trampled or gored. Distance was safer. Better.

    But Pack huntresses were inclined to the weapon and we were supposed to be learning how to hunt as a group. I could see how the spear could lend itself to coordinated, close range tactics, but my fingers still itched for the sling. I might not be as skilled as the huntresses, but I still preferred to used the weapon I knew over the one I didn¡¯t.

    The sisters, Keili and Veris, were put in charge of us as they both had a lifetime of experience as Pack huntresses. They worked so well together that it was a little intimidating. Sometimes one would hold out a hand and the other would give her whatever she needed without a word or look exchanged between them. Crest spent the time scouting the area for prey as she knew the forested foothills best and would know which opportunities would offer the best chance of success. She also reported on changes in the terrain that we could potentially use or that could cause trouble such as a hill that offered a particularly good vantage point or an ominous fallen tree. Using her information, Rawley and Nole picked a location for a pit trap and spent the remaining time arduously digging it out. The pit wasn¡¯t very deep, only around four feet, but it had taken them a long while to break through the frost layer as well as digging through the snow and the rest of the dirt. That was one of the contributing factors for us to go after a shaggy coated boar. They were the more common, smaller, and less dangerous version of the russet backed boar in this region. They also didn¡¯t jump well once their momentum was ruined.

    Fellen and I were stationed in the middle of the clearing to practice jabbing and setting the butt of our spear into the ground. It was tedious work but I didn¡¯t complain. Repetition was the best way to make the movements second nature, even if that wouldn¡¯t happen in two days. As we practiced the sisters alternated between watching and correcting our movements, tending to their gear, and practicing themselves. Once we learned we would be boar hunting, they also added swapping tips and stories into the mix.

    Veris was making wild, fancy flourishes with her spear when she started one such session. ¡°Hey sis, what¡¯s the first thing you want to do if you get a boar on your spear?¡±

    Keili kept pacing around us, checking for mistakes, as she snorted and then replied, ¡°Let go and get out of the way.¡±

    Veris pointed her spear at Keili. ¡°Correct!¡± Then she caught sight of our disbelieving looks and continued her line of questioning with a wink. ¡°Why is that, Keili?¡±

    Her sister made an encompassing gesture with her hands. ¡°Well, imagine sister, that you were hunting a boar with your Pack. And you had found it! In fact, it was charging at you and your Pack was flanking, ready to pin it once it rammed itself onto your spear. Imagine setting your spear against the ground, bracing for impact, as it pounds towards you on hooves the size of meal bowls. It hits! The spear sinks in, right through the chest and into the heart. But, imagine, you don¡¯t let go then and the boar, crazed with pain and anger, continues to push forward on your spear. You lost your chance to roll out of the way. Your Pack rushes in to help, most even stick it at good vantage points. But it¡¯s too late! The boar catches you with its tusk, goring you in the side with its death throws. It dies, but so do you, hours or days later from an infected, bleeding wound that refuses to close.¡±

    I was vaguely annoyed with their needlessly over the top explanations, but they hit the point home. Keili had a keen memory of gory and unfortunate hunting accidents she¡¯d seen or heard of, and a skilled tongue at wringing every droplet of horror from them. Not that I needed to imagine the awfulness of a gore wound; my memories of tending to several different ones served me well.

    We received other lessons as well, such as: don¡¯t try to outrun a boar for long (it¡¯ll win), simple is best, and pay attention to the position of your Pack around you (breaking formation can ruin a hunt). I made a mental note of them all and made sure I had them stored so that I could quickly access them, if needed. That was an old habit I couldn¡¯t break even if I wanted to.

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    Fellen was more interested in going on a Pack hunt, but less eager to try her hand at hunting boar, than I was. I recognized the huntresses¡¯ skill, but I couldn¡¯t help but bulk at the idea of having to rely on multiple people to get a task done. It was like I was admitting I wasn¡¯t strong enough before we even did anything. I accepted the situation though, partially because I didn¡¯t have any choice and partially because hunting bigger game than birds, squirrels, and rabbits held some appeal.

    We started the hunt as soon as dawn broke. Crest led us to the last spot she had seen a lone shaggy coated male boar the evening before. A stand of few large bushes about a mile outside camp. The boar had rooted through the snow eating seeds and exposed roots. From there Nole led the group as we tracked his hoof prints, though I was sure we didn¡¯t need her expertise. Fellen and I could followed the obvious trail all on our own as the snow was high enough, and the boar¡¯s legs stumpy enough, that even its belly had left a trail.

    We made quick work of following the boar¡¯s meandering trail and found him snuffling around the base of a tree a little over an hour later. He was farther from his den, and thus from our pit trap, than we had expected which nearly rendered Rawley and Nole¡¯s hard work useless. If we attacked the boar now, there wasn¡¯t a chance that we could drive him into the trap. So Rawley, our acting Pack Leader, predictably decided to follow one of her core tenets.

    Patience.

    The next few hours were spent hiding behind trees and creeping along downwind of the boar. Striving to not alert him to our presence as he slowly snuffled and snorted his way closer to his den. I saw more than my fill of wiry gray hair, beady eyes, and tusks the length of my hand during that time. I think Fellen nearly broke. She wasn¡¯t made to spend that long in tense stillness, much less silence. Her fingers kept twitching to her sling.

    Once the boar was about a hundred feet from the pit trap, as close as we thought he was going to get on his own, Rawley whistled like a redpoll to signal the start of our plan. The boar lifted his head at the sound before going back to rooting through the snow after a few moments.

    Keili and Veris crept to the boar¡¯s other side while Crest and Rawley snuck around behind him. Nole, Fellen, and I were left to cover his left side. Once they were in place, each group whistled like the bird again and we pulled our slings free. Placed a stone in the pouch, and at the quiet count of ten flung them at the boar.

    He gave an angry squeal as he was pelted by seven different stones and stomped in a circle, looking for whatever dared to attack him. A handful of seconds later, his bravado was broken as he was hit by seven more stones and he took off in the only direction he hadn¡¯t been hit from. Toward the trap.

    We continued to harass him as he ran, keeping him on course. A little over halfway to the trap, he charged in Keili and Veris¡¯s direction, determined to break free and get revenge on his attackers. I fumbled for another stone to distract him with, but two well placed stones¡ªone above the eye and one on the snout¡ªhit him from the other side and the enraged boar swerved back on course.

    Then Nole whistled and Veris answered her. They both sprinted forward, leaving the rest of us behind as they stuffed their slings into their belt and pulled their spears free. They made a hard turn as soon they came abreast of the trap so that they met behind it. The boar spotted them and charged forward with extra speed and an angry squeal. They set their spears into the ground, just in case the boar some how cleared the trap.

    The boar¡¯s momentum nearly propelled him onto the spear points before the light covering over the pit broke under his weight and he fell. I heard something crunch as I ran up with the rest of the group with my spear now in hand. At the same time, Nole and Veris swiftly changed stance and plunged their spears down into the struggling boar¡¯s side. Rawley¡¯s spear caught him in the neck next, and he died before I got my spear into position.

    Fellen met my gaze with an adrenaline filled grin as the huntresses freed their hands to pull their prayer needles free. We quickly followed suit. I pricked a smaller diamond on my thigh as everyone pricked their wrists. Red dotted the snow around the pit as Rawley spoke the ritual words for a successful hunt.

    ¡°We thank you, goddess, for this successful hunt and offer you blood for that which we took. May this death sustain you as it will sustain us.¡±

    There was a brief moment of tense silence before the blood staining the snow flaked away. We didn¡¯t offer prayers for every squirrel and rabbit we killed, but when it to larger game, especially with a planned hunt, the attitude that it was better to be safe than sorry prevailed. Plus, Pack huntresses tended to be stricter about observing every act of ritual and ceremony. I think it helped to enforce the hierarchy in their Pack, and there were some, like Fenris, who thought the goddess was always had an eye trained explicitly on her, and that such acts brought her closer to the deity.

    Fellen and I were sent to collect the stones everyone had thrown during the chase while the huntresses hefted the boar out of the pit and field dressed it. With every stone I found and picked up, a growing sense of annoyance burgeoned. I had been practically useless during the whole hunt. Even if I hadn¡¯t been there to sling my stones, they would of had the numbers they needed on each side. In fact, I was certain that the huntresses could have accomplished the whole thing without Fellen or I there.

    I stomped over to where a stone had rolled in front of a bush that quietly rustled with the wind. Then I froze as I was in the middle of reaching for the stone. My hair hadn¡¯t moved. The chill air was still.

    Slowly, I brought my gaze up from the ground as I slipped my free hand toward where my sling was tucked into my belt. Through a gap in the bush¡¯s twigs peered another set of eyes.

 Ch. 42: Picker Band

    Time seemed to stretch as I locked gazes with the eyes in the bush, my mind taking moments longer than it should have to break away from self-indulgent pity to situational awareness. Awareness that never should have been broken in the first place.

    Fellen was a few paces behind me to my left; the huntresses still in the middle of gutting the boar over twenty feet away by the pit trap. The rocks I¡¯d been collecting were in a sack tied to my belt. I¡¯d have pull one out if I wanted my sling to be any use once I grabbed it. The forest around us was full of trees with wide trunks as well as a handful of bushes¡ªmost suitable to hide behind. I hadn¡¯t heard them approach, so they had to be skilled and their number couldn¡¯t¡ª

    The person behind the bush moved to the side and leapt for me. I whistled the alarm, short and sharp, instead of dodging. We hit the ground and I gasped as the air was knocked out of me. I immediately gave up going for my sling in favor of protecting my ribs and face from my opponent¡¯s blows. That didn¡¯t go so well.

    I quickly realized as I tried to hold my opponent back that she was a girl with at least a head of height on me. Which gave her reach and strength behind her punches that I couldn¡¯t match. Still, that didn¡¯t mean I was just going to let her hit me.

    I brought my knee up, straight into the back of her leg. She flinched from the unexpected blow and I took advantage of the brief pause in her attack to rear up and bite into where her collar exposed the skin around her neck. She snarled and pushed me away. Just before I fell back, a pulse of...weakness spread from where her right hand gripped my head.

    She stumbled back, clutching her shoulder, while I struggled to clamber to my feet through a wave of dizziness and bleared vision.

    I sensed other fights going on around me, but I didn¡¯t turn away from my opponent. I had to trust they could handle themselves while I dealt with my own fight¡ªnot that I would be that useful with my vision half gone and a piercing headache starting to throb from my right temple. I tried blinking rapidly but everything in front of me remained vague smears of color.

    The girl rushed forward again, knocking aside my feeble attempt at a block with ease, before grappling me to the ground. She wrenched my arm back and dug a knee into my spine. If I struggled too hard she could wrench my good shoulder from its socket. I growled, but couldn¡¯t do much as I heard snow crunching and then another pair of hands held down my legs.

    The headache spiked behind my eyes and I was forced to close them. It hurt too much to see. A few moments later a sour taste coated my mouth and my tongue started to feel puffy. My years of training provided me with an answer for the symptoms, though it didn¡¯t make sense.

    Black Root.

    Found in the Folds. Typically ground down and mixed with water. Hallucinogenic and relaxant. Sour taste, dry puffy tongue. Dangerous¡ªtongue can swell too much and block breathing. Poisonous when too much is imbibed. Poison caused severe blurry vision, sensitivity to light, debilitating headaches.

    I coughed, trying to clear my throat. It didn¡¯t help. Air whistled through a thin passage in the back of my throat as my mark started to prickle.

    Two voices spoke quickly and softly above me.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with her? Did you¡­?¡±

    ¡°I think I gave her too much.¡±

    ¡°Then take it back! You shouldn¡¯t have used it anyway¡ªemergencies only, Prevna.¡±

    ¡°I know. I know! Get ready to hold her.¡±

    Fingers touched the base of my neck and I shuddered. Then there was a sucking sensation and it felt like that initial pulse of weakness was being pulled back out of my body. Immediately, my mark stopped tingling, the headache dulled, and my swollen tongue began to return to normal as the sour taste faded. I waited a few more moments, feeling most of my strength slowly return before I blinked open my eyes.

    The girl¡¯s face scowled down at me, perfectly clear. ¡°Bite me and I¡¯ll poison you again.¡±

    I glared back at her before trying to pull myself free, but the hands holding my legs and her grip on my arm kept me in place. She probably had a bless mark like me, to use poison in such an odd way, but my best bet to deal with her presumably touched based ability¡ªcreate distance between us¡ªwas currently closed. I should have went for my spear instead of my sling when I had the chance. That would have kept the distance between us.

    I was about to try another desperate escape attempt when an authoritative voice cut through the scuffling and crunching snow of other fights. ¡°Enough. You¡¯re out-numbered three to one. This isn¡¯t a fight you¡¯ll win, huntresses.¡±

    The scuffling sounds stopped and a heartbeat later Crest spoke, ¡°Perhaps. And perhaps following the assessment of a betrayer doesn¡¯t sit well with us.¡± Her voice was colder and harsher than I had ever heard it before.

    The other voice continued on like she hadn¡¯t said a word. ¡°We¡¯ll be taking the boar. It was our hunt first, and we need the meat more than you, besides.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s our kill, Picker.¡± Veris this time.

    ¡°The current situation would indicate otherwise. Of course, we won¡¯t leave you to starve as you have done so often to our people. We¡¯ve seen your traps.¡±

    ¡°Liars and thieves, every last one of you.¡± Crest again.

    Veris spat a word out at the same time. ¡°Vulture.¡±

    The Picker spokeswoman didn¡¯t rise to the bait. ¡°We do what we have to, to survive, same as you. The boar is ours¡ªyou can always hunt another. You have the training for it, yes?¡±

    There was another pause filled with the sounds of movement and more insults from Crest and Veris. All I could see was snow and the bottom of a tree. Shame and anger welled and mixed like a new poison in my gut. The audacity of these people! They took from the tribes like they were owed the food and furs they stole, despite the fact they betrayed their tribe first, broke a core tenet. And now they humiliated huntresses by stealing the kill they had just risked limb, if not life, to get. I should have paid more attention to my surroundings, been more aware. If the Picker band hadn¡¯t had the advantage of surprise the huntresses, at least, would have had a better chance of beating them with their weapons despite being outnumbered.

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    Something heavy was dragged and a fight broke out. I tried to use the distraction to break free again, but the girl dug her knee and fingers further into my back.

    ¡°Try that again and you¡¯ll regret it.¡±

    I glared back at her but remained still. There was shouting from the direction of the fight and then a thump. Tense stillness settled over the area.

    Rawley finally spoke up, strained but calm. ¡°You have your boar. Why do you remain?¡±

    ¡°A good turn. We thought we¡¯d have to risk going all the way to the valley, but then you showed up with food in hand. One of our young ones has recently entered her blooding years. She bears a blessed mark.¡± You could hear the smug grin in the woman¡¯s voice. ¡°We invoke Sanctuary.¡±

    Sanctuary.

    The word was like a bucket of chilled water running down my spine. Everyone knew and scoffed at the rumors and the few legends about Sanctuary¡ªit wasn¡¯t something that actually happened. Why would the goddess ever grant a blessed mark to a Picker? They didn¡¯t deserve it¡ªthey were betrayers, the thing the goddess hated most.

    But on the odd, minuscule chance a Picker girl was born with a blessed mark and she survived until her blooding years, her band could travel to a tribe and invoke Sanctuary. That tribe would then be bound to taking care of that girl¡ªon pain of the goddess¡¯s wrath if they failed¡ªuntil the Dark Night celebrations when she would be taken to the Seedling Palace. Tribes had a higher chance of survival than Picker bands.

    There were a couple moments of silence as we all absorbed the announcement before my mentor spoke again. ¡°Which one? We¡¯ll need proof before we take her in.¡±

    ¡°Prevna? Bring your catch over here, so that the good huntress might see you better.¡±

    Seething irritation, fueled by the shame still roiling in my gut, spiked at the provocation. It didn¡¯t help when I practically picked up by the two holding me and manhandled into walking forward. I tried to struggle free, but all I managed to do was confirm that I didn¡¯t have the height, strength, or leverage to break free from my captors.

    For the first time since I spied the girl¡¯s eyes through the bush, I got a decent view of the situation. Fellen was caught in a bear hug of a middle-aged man and looked throughly affronted that she couldn¡¯t break free. Fear also edged her wide eyes and the realization caused my teeth to grind together. There was no reason she should have had to feel panicked so soon after our ordeal in Flickermark.

    The huntresses were spread out in a small cluster near the pit trap and were, in turn, surrounded by small clusters of Pickers. Rawley held three Pickers at bay with her spear, like I should have done. A fourth lay at her feet, out cold. Nole also had three surrounding her, but she had opted for using her fists over weapons. They looked wary, and the nose of one of them looked broken. One had drawn a small knife. Nole also sported a swelling jaw and a cut along one forearm. Keili and Veris weren¡¯t faring as well. They were ones who had been in the process of gutting the boar. Veris was standing, but she had four Pickers holding her in place. Keili was near her, laying on the ground much as I had been, with two Pickers and a knife to her throat holding her in place. Crest was also on the ground, but she was curled around her stomach with a spear, presumably hers, pointed at her face by a Picker. Two other Pickers hovered around her, in case she tried anything. A path drug through the snow led to where two Pickers stood guard over our boar.

    A few paces in front of Rawley stood the Picker spokeswoman. She had the look of a woman who was unfazed¡ªno, amused at bad tidings. Like it was a joke that such things like poor shelter or lack of food thought that they could get in the way of her survival. Not even her ragged clothing could pull from the air of dignity that surrounded her. Black hair in a thousand tiny braids draped down her back and contrasted with the matte light gray of her lips¡ªlike the shamble men¡¯s skin.

    Those lips were the mark of a Picker just as black lips marked whisper women. Light gray so that all would know them for the betrayers they were. No one knew how their lips were changed¡ªonly that when an offender was caught and a Scale was called and judged them guilty, the new exile always left the tent and their tribe with gray lips. A Picker¡¯s children were also born with gray lips, but the color was more see through, so that you could see hints of their lip color underneath. The third generation was born with normal lips and could petition to rejoin a tribe.

    Prevna and my other captor pulled me to a halt next to their leader. I saw Rawley¡¯s eyes narrow. Then they quickly adjusted how they were holding me, so that Prevna could hold out a hand. They did it so smoothly that I didn¡¯t have a chance to take advantage of the change. When the other girl held her hand out, I saw that she had markings on every finger. Two swirls started on the pad of every finger before wrapping around onto the back of the finger, stopping just before her middle knuckle.

    Her leader said, ¡°She¡¯s poison-touched. Both hands have the markings. She can soak up the poison from any plant or animal with such gifts and then expel it into an opponent. If you¡¯re so set on proof, I can have her give a demonstration.¡±

    The thought of being poisoned again broke my silence. I growled out, ¡°She already did.¡±

    The spokeswoman¡¯s eyebrows rose. ¡°That so?¡±

    ¡°I took it back, Milwa.¡± Prevna sounded chastened and irritated in equal, quiet measure.

    ¡°Thoughtful of you.¡± She turned to Rawley. ¡°So? Do you still want your demonstration?¡±

    Rawley let out a long breath before replying, ¡°No. My apprentice¡¯s word is enough.¡±

    A flush of warmth quelled some of the anger and shame in my chest, though the magnitude of her decision based on my outburst weighed on me.

    ¡°Good, good.¡± Milwa surveyed the scene around her. ¡°We¡¯ll take the boar then, and you¡¯ll take my daughter.¡± She waved a hand to her people. ¡°Don¡¯t take the huntresses¡¯ weapons unless you wish to be hunted. They¡¯re particular about such things, and I wish to end this meeting amicably.¡± She eyed each of our party in turn. ¡°Come after us and we will beat that option out of you. Harm my daughter and I will enjoy watching the goddess¡¯s wrath fall upon you and yours.¡±

    She whistled sharply and there were a few moments where you could taste the tension in the air as her people let us go and fell back. I whirled around as Prevna and my other captor, a young man, followed suit. Prevna and her mother clasped each other in a tight hug, a gross breach of the expectation to keep affection behind tent walls, and Milwa murmured something in her ear before they pulled apart. Then Milwa and her Picker band disappeared back into the forest as we watched, heading toward the Folds, leaving Prevna behind.

    Prevna turned toward us, wary, and for the first time I got a good look at our newest, untrustworthy tribe member. She had warm beige skin, a strong nose, and hair that was such a deep brown it was almost black. Her hair was braided back into four plaits that were tied into two buns at the nape of her neck, just behind her ears. Her eyes matched her hair and held the same dignity as her mother, though she was more aloof. Her lips had the somewhat translucent gray of a second generation Picker. I immediately disliked the fact she was tall and fit, and looked to be about two years older than me.

    I heard Crest and Keili pick themselves up behind me. Fellen also hurried over to hover behind me as we all watched her.

    She crossed her arms. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t do me any good to poison you.¡±

    Crest scoffed, Veris swore, and Rawley sighed. The others kept quiet.

    Rawley stepped up next to me. ¡°No, it wouldn¡¯t. I need to get you back to my tribe¡¯s Grandmother.¡± She addressed the rest of us. ¡°Let¡¯s go break camp and head back to Grislander¡¯s Maw.¡±

    She turned and offered her support to Crest who quietly fumed about getting hit with her own spear. Veris was more open in her discontent, but her sister distracted her from confronting Prevna. Nole came over to check on Fellen, and I turned my back on Prevna. Then we started walking, and left it up to her to follow or not.

 Ch. 43: Grandmothers Inspection

    ¡°Why have you brought a problem into my tent, huntress?¡± Grandmother¡¯s normal impatient, blunt tone had an extra edge to it as her gaze first bore down Prevna before cutting over to Rawley.

    Grandmother sat at the back of the tent on a thick cushion. Old Lily knelt beside her sister, posed so that when she drug her prayer needle over her wrist the blood would collect in Grandmother¡¯s ceremonial bowl. We had crowded together near the tent entrance. Rawley, Prevna, and Nole stood in front, while Fellen and I peered past them in order to see the obviously private scene. Keili, Veris, and Crest had left us once we returned to the valley given that they belonged to other tribes and had no business meeting with our Grandmother.

    Rawley stayed collected as she gave the absurd answer, ¡°Sanctuary.¡±

    Grandmother¡¯s eyebrows crept higher. ¡°It seems I will have to speak the small prayers another time, sister.¡± Old Lily nodded and began to put her prayer needle and the bowl away as Grandmother continued, ¡°And you couldn¡¯t have let one of the others pick up responsibility for her?¡±

    ¡°I led the hunting trip, Grandmother.¡±

    ¡°Feeling nostalgic?¡± Grandmother snorted derisively. ¡°That never ends well for you.¡± Her attention snapped to Prevna before Rawley had a chance to respond. ¡°Show me your mark.¡±

    Prevna stepped forward and held out her hands with such an assured manner that I faintly felt annoyed. Who did she think she was to act chastened in front some Picker woman but not Grandmother? Grandmother gave Old Lily a look that clearly questioned the intelligence of the girl before her.

    Old Lily gave her sister an amused smile before turning to Prevna. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±

    ¡°Prevna.¡±

    ¡°Come closer, Prevna. My sister¡¯s eyes weren¡¯t what they used to be.¡± Only Old Lily could get away saying such things without fear of dire repercussions.

    ¡°My eyes are fine, sister. But how am I supposed to inspect anything when she¡¯s across the tent?¡±

    Old Lily tapped the corner of her right eye with a finger.

    Prevna had hesitated at their banter¡ªand I felt a little gratified to see some her bravado vanish¡ªbut she walked forward when Old Lily beckoned her again. Grandmother grabbed her left hand and peered at it for several moments before rubbing at the markings. She did the same to her other hand.

    When she finished, Grandmother asked, ¡°Your blessing?¡±

    ¡°Poison touched, Grandmother.¡±

    ¡°Meaning?¡±

    ¡°I can soak up poison from plants and creatures that I touch and then expel it into others.¡±

    ¡°Show me.¡±

    Prevna hesitated again, ¡°You want me to poison someone?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re welcome to go back to your band if you don¡¯t. I won¡¯t uphold false Sanctuary for an opportunist.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s jaw set. ¡°I¡¯m not a liar. Who do you want me to poison?¡±

    My stomach sank when Grandmother¡¯s gaze caught on me. I knew what was coming next even before she commanded me forward. ¡°Join us, Gimley.¡±

    I gritted my teeth to hold back an unwise comment and slipped between Rawley and Nole to stand on Prevna¡¯s left. Arguing with Grandmother never got me anywhere. Still, once I stood face to face with the other girl, the desire to not be poisoned again surged to the forefront of my mind and I couldn¡¯t help but point out that this scenario already happened.

    ¡°She already poisoned me once.¡±

    Old Lily had the decency to look concerned, but Grandmother wasn¡¯t impressed. ¡°And yet, here you are, still as difficult as before.¡± She turned to Prevna. ¡°Show me. You don¡¯t have to worry about killing her¡ªas you can see, she¡¯s more than capable of handling it.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s gaze flickered between the two of us, before she let out a breath and seemed to center herself. ¡°I won¡¯t do as much as before.¡±

    And so I got poisoned for the second time in two days. It took more willpower than I¡¯d like to admit to stand still as she reached out toward me and pressed her hand to my head. Pounding headache, sour taste, puffy tongue all the same as before though they took a little bit longer to manifest. Nor was I completely helpless this time. I stayed on my feet despite the headache insisting I lay down and close my eyes, panting around my swollen tongue.

    Grandmother spoke and I forced myself to focus on the words in spite of the pain. ¡°What poison is it?¡±

    ¡°Black Root, Grandmother.¡±

    ¡°The effects?¡±

    ¡°Terrible headache, blurry vision, and trouble breathing if too much is taken. I thought to disadvantage my opponent if I was attacked, not kill them.¡±

    ¡°Smart choice, not to dabble in the goddess¡¯s domain. However, other than the breathing, it is difficult for us to determine if she actually is suffering from such a poison. Nole, bring Levain here.¡±

    Several sharp intakes of breath sounded from around the tent, but even with squinting I couldn¡¯t make out who it was through my ruined vision and rising panic.

    ¡°No! I can make the diagnosis. You don¡¯t¡ª¡±

    ¡°Go, Nole.¡±

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    The tent flap opened and closed.

    Still, I could make it so she didn¡¯t need to enter the tent when she arrived. ¡°My vision is blurred. You should be able to tell by¡ª¡±

    ¡°I barely understand you through your slurring, girl. Besides, it doesn¡¯t matter what you know. No one in this tent is a healer, not even you, so we have no business delving into such things.¡±

    ¡°But¡ªplease¡ª¡±

    A rustle of cloth and then strong, warm hands gripped my arms. Old Lily. ¡°Hush, child. Don¡¯t stoop to pleading.¡±

    Rawley spoke up, ¡°You couldn¡¯t have called for another healer?¡±

    ¡°This business stays within the tribe. Their history pales in importance to properly accepting a charge of Sanctuary. Or do you suggest that I tie open the tent flap myself to let others question my judgment and our strength as a tribe?¡±

    ¡°Of course not, Grandmother.¡±

    ¡°Then let us wait.¡±

    The tent was far, far too small. My entire body started shivering and I couldn¡¯t get it to stop. Only Old Lily¡¯s hands kept me on my feet. A cold sensation started to build behind my ribs, shard by shard, until a wall of jagged ice was squeezing my chest, stomach, heart.

    I couldn¡¯t breath, couldn¡¯t think.

    She was coming.

    And the fear of facing her again, of how she would break me this time, combined with the vicious hate that she could still make me feel that way when she was nothing to me was flaying me alive.

    And then I remembered¡ªI didn¡¯t have to be there. I could go vacant like I had after her last rejection. As soon as the realization hit me, I felt something shift inside and suddenly, it felt like I wasn¡¯t in my own skin anymore. What was happening to my body wasn¡¯t happening to me. Sure, my body might still be struggling to breathe and dealing a debilitating headache, but it could handle that. It was resilient. And it wouldn¡¯t die, no matter what happened.

    I could watch everything from a safe, protected, distance. Nothing could hurt me here. It didn¡¯t matter if I was rejected again or if judgmental eyes were cast my way or she got to use the healer¡¯s craft that she hated and I was banned from. I wouldn¡¯t feel any of it.

    I could hear Prevna¡¯s words without a hint of worry. ¡°It shouldn¡¯t cause shaking like that. I¡¯m not very good at regulating the amount of poison yet¡ªI might have given her too much again. I can take the poison back until the healer gets here.¡±

    Grandmother waved a dismissive hand. ¡°Leave her. She¡¯s fine.¡±

    Prevna swallowed before regaining her composure. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°Your poison didn¡¯t cause her shaking. You want to help? Be quiet and pray that you aren¡¯t wasting my time.¡±

    Long minutes passed as everyone waited for Nole to return with the healer. I could imagine Fellen¡¯s attention flinting between the tent flap and myself, and Rawley keeping an impartial face as she waited to see how things would play out.

    The tent flap open and closed. Twice.

    ¡°You called, Grandmother?¡±

    I didn¡¯t need to be able to see across the tent to know that she was standing with her arms crossed, methodically taking in everyone¡¯s reactions and the feeling in the tent. Plotting the best course of action and finding everyone else lacking.

    ¡°Look at the girl¡¯s symptoms and tell me what you think she suffers from.¡±

    I didn¡¯t flinch when I heard her walk toward me¡ªI had the vacant feeling to thank for that. She didn¡¯t greet me or truly acknowledge me. Instead, she immediately started checking my heartbeat, my skin, my eyes, nose, and mouth. Like I was an object or a puzzle that had nothing more to offer her than a solution.

    I couldn¡¯t imagine being able to endure it, if I was still in my own skin. As I was, distant and cold, I took to silently critiquing her work¡ªnoting how I would have done better, where I would have checked more throughly.

    She gave me the quickest examination I had ever seen her do. She still got the answer correct. ¡°Her symptoms are most in line with Black Root¡ªwhen too much has been imbibed, and not been diluted with enough water to produce its more relaxing effect.¡±

    ¡°Good. You may go.¡±

    Even through the vacancy, I could feel her need to treat me. Not out of any true concern or motherly desire, but in order to confirm, with her own eyes and hands, that I wouldn¡¯t nearly cost her her hard won reputation again. But then I felt the shift in her, when she remembered that she didn¡¯t have to worry about a dead patient in my case, when she determined that it was better for her to do as Grandmother said. No arguments or fuss. No concern for how long I suffered.

    ¡°As you wish.¡±

    The tent flap opened and closed moments later.

    ¡°You can take your poison back now.¡±

    A new hand settled on my forehead and then there was a sucking sensation as Prevna pulled her poison from me. My ice weakened as she did so, and just as suddenly as I slipped into it, I slipped out of the protective distance. I was back in my heavy body that she had just poked and prodded without the barest hint of concern or acknowledgment.

    My legs gave out completely and Old Lily helped guide me gently to the floor. I closed my eyes as my vision began to return, tried to hang onto the headache so that I wouldn¡¯t have to think, wished for the swollen tongue to stay so that I had to focus on breathing.

    All too clearly, I heard Grandmother continue to question Prevna. ¡°You¡¯ve received your blooding?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Grandmother.¡±

    ¡°Show me your belly.¡±

    Apparently, Prevna¡¯s adult clothes of a long belted tunic and pants weren¡¯t enough for her. All women got the goddess¡¯s open eye inked below their navel after their first blooding¡ªa symbol only the truly foolish would mark without an appropriate ritual or event behind it.

    But even focusing on their conversation wasn¡¯t enough.

    The more I recovered from the poison, the more I became aware that the tent was still far too small. My shivering hadn¡¯t stopped, and while my wish for the swollen tongue to stay wasn¡¯t granted, my breath began to slip back into short gasps.

    ¡°Grandmother?¡± Fellen¡¯s voice, shocking not just because I hadn¡¯t expected to hear it, but for how terse it sounded. ¡°Do you still have need of Gimley?¡±

    A drawn out pause and then, ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Then if there¡¯s nothing more you wish of us, we¡¯ll take our leave now.¡±

    Grandmother¡¯s voice was softer than I expected it to be, ¡°As you wish, child.¡±

    A few moments later, small sturdy arms helped me stand as Fellen put my arm over her shoulders. I let her help me, still feeling a little dazed. Rawley caught my eye as we left the tent. She gave a look that both communicated her regret at how things turned out and a promise to talk. I gave her a slight nod in return, and then, finally, blissfully, we were out of the tent. Fellen kept marching forward and I matched her, not caring where we were headed.

    It turned out to be the snow hut we had made before, roof still ruined but standing. However, she stopped a few paces away from the hut and dropped me into the snow. I could have caught myself at that point, if not for the unexpectedness of it. Then she continued to be an agent of surprise when she dropped to her knees in front of me, scooped up two handfuls of snow¡ªand rubbed them all over my face.

    My skin went numb and I tried to scramble away from her, but she kept rubbing handfuls of snow everywhere my skin was visible and once that was done, even over my clothes.

    I could only stare at her when she sat back on her heels, visibly satisfied. I debated whether I should cover her in snow or ask what had just happened.

    She cut in before I made a decision, ¡°There. Now it¡¯s like she never touched you.¡±

    I kept staring.

    Her eyes narrowed. ¡°If you¡¯re going to keep being creepy, I¡¯m going in the hut.¡±

    I wanted to say something¡ªanything¡ªbut my ability to respond was still stuck somewhere between getting poisoned and the cold shards slowly warming in my chest.

    I stared.

    She went in the hut.

 Ch. 44: Mountain Hike

    Prevna was granted Sanctuary.

    I didn¡¯t encounter her often, given that I was often out training with Rawley or in the huntress area of the main hall. Sometimes though, now that I was able to walk on my own, Grandmother would call me back to her tent to offer blood for a ritual or to check in and I would see her there working on some small task that Grandmother set her to. Not even Sanctuary protected her from the simple fact that no one got to eat for free. And whenever I saw her there was always some small bit of food at hand, whether it was a bowl of pluckings saved from the noon meal or a handful of berries tucked into a pouch. Once or twice I saw her at a distance, swimming in the river despite the cold. From the rumors I heard, she was one of the few outside the water hole tribes who took to the water regularly.

    If nothing else, I could appreciate that her arrival took some of the burden of the watching eyes, murmurs, and forced meetings from Fellen and I. As soon as she arrived and Grandmother made the announcement to the tribe, quiet conversations sprung up about the Picker girl, the white-lipped thief, that speculated about her blessing, the trouble she would cause, the unwelcome burden she already was. No one laid a hand on her, of course¡ªthey weren¡¯t dumb enough to risk the goddess¡¯s wrath, just like with us¡ªbut a new layer of tension buzzed through the valley as everyone waited for her to make the wrong move. Some people wasted time counting their possessions every day after she arrived. She hadn¡¯t seemed dumb or oblivious enough to make such an obvious error, but I also couldn¡¯t eliminate the possibility. I knew firsthand how difficult it was to let go and not use something you spent your whole childhood learning.

    Fellen and I weren¡¯t completely forgotten though, however much I wished we were. Some people simply had trouble grasping that the same tribe had children who completed one of the goddess¡¯s trials and were involved with Sanctuary. Granted, we had the probability in numbers over many tribes, but it was interesting watching some people from other tribes start to keep their distance from us just in case the rare occurrences caught the goddess¡¯s eye in a bad way. Rawley¡¯s friends still kept close, but other huntresses stopped coming by for a quick chat or word of advice. That didn¡¯t stop me from hearing the rumors though, and in a way I couldn¡¯t escape from Prevna. Two thirds of the time I overheard a conversation her name or Fellen¡¯s or mine was brought up.

    So, I was more than ready to get away on a day when Rawley had left on a solo hunt and Fellen couldn¡¯t get away from her mother. I needed solitude. Time truly to yourself was a rare thing in a tribe, as there was often someone else in view when you did activities outside and the lone huntress¡¯s tents, the only single person tents, were too cramped to do much of anything productive. I craved that time. There was nothing quite as fulfilling as being alone and owing no one else my time or attention. When whatever I chose to do was up to me, and me alone.

    I had more freedom than I ever had before in the valley. So I decided to create my own day of peaceful solitude and check out something I had always been curious about when we stayed in Grislander¡¯s Maw: the stunted pine trees on the eastern side of the mountains.

    The thought the goddess¡¯s trees didn¡¯t flourish everywhere drew me in a morbid and unsettling way. Of course, I knew that her territory didn¡¯t cover all of the land¡ªher sister had territory too, after all¡ªbut for the pine trees to struggle some place so close to home? I wanted to discover the reason for it. Was it really Grislander trying to break free or something more natural? I doubted the goddess¡¯s power really was weak there or that she struggled to maintain control, but there had to be some reason why the trees struggled. I also thought it was my duty as a future whisper woman to know as much about the goddess and her aspects as I could.

    Another added bonus was that it was the least populated area of the mountains, so I would be less likely to run into others than if I took a swim in the river or investigated some other spot.

    My status as a huntress apprentice on ¡°a training hunt¡± convinced the cooks to give me two easily portable meals of dried meat and bars made from acorn flour and berries. If I had to I would have leveraged the trial mark but it was unnecessary for such a simple request¡ªa request I would never have been able to make as a healer¡¯s apprentice. Still, from the way they kept glancing at my chin those watching probably thought I had threatened them with the goddess¡¯s wrath if I didn¡¯t get my food.

    I took my time hiking to the eastern side of the mountains. Rawley¡¯s lessons about the foolishness of pushing myself to exhaustion just because I could echoing in the back of my mind the whole way. I had to make sure I didn¡¯t strand myself on the top of the mountain. The mere thought of that humiliation was enough to slow my steps. I also took breaks as I went. Resting by flowing water or against a tree and mulling through one train of thought or another was more satisfying than I was initially willing to give it credit for.

    I followed the river back toward its sources for the first part of the small journey. For the most part I managed to pass by people before they recognized me and my glare kept those who did from approaching me. In that way, I got to enjoy the sun on my face in silence while watching others go about their daily activities. Men washed clothes, cooking implements, and other tools in the river while others took them to hang in the forest to dry. Some children, close to the twins age or a bit younger, laughed and splashed in and out on a shallow bank while they bathed in the cold water. A few herds of reindeer and elk as well as flocks of sheep drank from the river or ranged close to it as I passed. I saw, further into the valley, where a handful of rider tribes folk, young women and men, mostly, had cleared a wide area of snow and were racing each other across it on their elk. Not far away, an older man was leading another elk by a rope while a young girl balanced on a saddle on its back. She seemed uncertain, but determined. At one point a hopeful camp dog, tall and lanky with a rough mottled black and brown coat, wandered up to me for a treat. I scratched it behind the ears but, when it realized I didn¡¯t have any scraps to give it, I received a look of betrayal and the dog wandered away again to look for better opportunities.

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    Once I reached the point where the two rivers merged to form the one I had been following I turned west. Rather than crossing the river, my plan was to go up and around them. The back of the valley was formed by a sheer cliff, good only for birds and daredevils with more reach than I had. So, I had to go west where there was a more gradual incline from the valley into the mountains. I could have traveled through the forested mountain slopes from the beginning, but that would have made for tricker footing and slower traveling speed¡ªand I had wanted to enjoy walking by the water.

    I walked around various camps as I went. People busied themselves with repair work, making new tools or supplies, grinding bags of grasses and acorns down into flour, and a few games of chance with dice made from ankle bones. I heard snatches of gossip and advice being called as people went about their work as well as gasps of delight as one woman displayed her new hair comb to a group of friends. I rolled my eyes at that and ignored a brief flash of jealousy. I did, however, spend the next few minutes wondering what my hair would look like if I ever did anything with it other than braiding it into a plait. Rawley¡¯s fancier hairstyles weren¡¯t really an option, given that I knew I would never keep them up. Nor did I want to copy Fellen¡¯s twin braids. I could let it fall loose and only pull the front pieces back, but that wasn¡¯t very practical for windy days.

    I shook off my speculation as I reached the tree line and focused on not tripping or losing my footing on the multitude of roots. I saw less people then, which was welcome. My shoulders relaxed and the need to keep tabs on everyone around me faded to the back of my mind. Instead I listened to the chittering of squirrels, the rustle of needles, and enjoyed the sharp, cold air. I ate the midday meal in the crook of a tree rather than sit in the snow. A large gray bird landed in the higher branches as I ate, but I didn¡¯t try to hit it with my sling. The angle was bad and I didn¡¯t feel like lugging it with me all the way to the east side of the mountains and back again if I did strike it well.

    An hour or so after I ate I came across one of the Branch clan¡¯s camps. They wove thick mats out of pine needles and strong string which were then tied to thick branches and used as platforms for their tents and gathering spots. Rope ladders, vertical and horizontal, were strung through the trees, connecting them together. From what I understood, they used heated rocks wrapped in cloth to keep from scorching or burning through their platforms while still keeping their tents warm. They also still cooked on slabs of thin rock on the ground to save the tree¡¯s roots from the same fate and to provide a more even surface. A woman was singing and sitting against a tree trunk on platform while another practiced a dance formed more from head and arm movements than footwork.

    No doubt they were preparing for the Heartsong celebration in a few weeks, the next big celebration before the Dark Night celebrations. Often there was little time for song and dance, but the goddess had decreed a few days of the year be dedicated to the pursuits as the Beloved took an interest in the activities and once moved the goddess to smile with her song. However, a balance had to be struck as music could more easily turn Her mood foul¡ªit was said that song and dance reminded Her of Her sister. So the people and the Beloved got a few days to indulge and the rest of the time the activities were best pursued as part of more pragmatic tasks, humming while one worked for example, or saved for small amounts of practice.

    I reached the crest of the eastern side of the mountains in early afternoon. I stopped and looked down at the scene spread out before me with wide eyes. The pine trees were more stunted, barely half the height of the ones everywhere else on the mountains, thinner, and more spread out. The ground wasn¡¯t a nest of overgrown roots. Instead, it was easy for snow to fall through the branches and I could spot flat stretches where, if I were to push aside the snow, I would probably find dirt or grass. The trees also didn¡¯t make all the way up to where I stood on the top of the mountain. There was a wide open stretch between where I stood¡ªroots and branches woven together at my back¡ªand where a scraggly line of trees grew down the mountainside. They really did look more like spires than broad, growing trees.

    No wonder the Spire clan tended to the trees with such focus. The way they looked, I almost wouldn¡¯t be surprised if Grislander broke free from his bonds right there and then. They certainly weren¡¯t the vibrant green, busy trees with prickly needles or the tall, thick trunked trees with soft needles I was used to.

    As I watched I caught sight several different people carrying poles over their shoulders with pots tied to each end. From what I could see, they each approached a tree purposefully and set down the pole and pots. Then they seemed to say something before pricking their wrists and letting the blood fall near the tree. After that they dumped water from the pots near the trees¡¯ roots before carrying everything back the way they came.

    The one closest to me, an old man, caught sight of me as he turned to leave and instead started to approach me. Irritation at the impending loss of my solitude set my teeth on edge.

    He stopped a decent length away, just close enough that we wouldn¡¯t have to shout to hear each other. ¡°Not many wander to this side of the mountains. Do you have business with the Spire Clan?¡±

    I drew in a breath and, rather than dismiss him like I was sorely tempted to do, answered with as much civility as I could muster. I gestured to the trees. ¡°No, just curiosity.¡±

    ¡°Ah.¡± He glanced back at them. ¡°We don¡¯t get much rain over here. The goddess¡¯s power keeps them alive, and we do what we can to help them grow, but unless the goddess consciously made them sprout again there¡¯s only so much we can do.¡±

    I scowled as he took the mystery and my opportunity to learn the truth for myself from me. When I spoke my voice was biting and hard. ¡°They can¡¯t die?¡±

    He flinched at my tone but answered as placidly as before. ¡°They were born from the goddess herself, I can¡¯t  believe they¡¯d die unless She willed it.¡± He seemed to harden with resolve. ¡°But they still can weaken, so we must do what we can to keep them strong.¡±

    My mouth tasted sour as I glowered down at the trees. The banal explanation, the easy comparison, wasn¡¯t what I was hoping to find when I spent the day hiking over here. I wasn''t some tree that barely survived on its own nor did I like the reminder that the goddess could retract Her blessing at any moment, if She wished it--not that She had done so in any myth or legend I knew. Still, the disappointment and unease were unwelcome. I turned on my heel and walked back into the thick forest on the other side without so much as a word of farewell to the old man. For the news he bore he didn¡¯t deserve it.

 Ch. 45: Blooding

    Soon, it seemed, the whole valley was caught up in preparations for the Heartsong festival. Scattered bits of song cut into peaceful silence more frequently while people worked. Others slipped in dance steps or movements as they walked from place to place. The herders were the worst. They all looked like fish flailing on dry land. But no amount of backhanded comments or amused looks could stop them¡ªthe sheep and reindeer herders throughout the tribes had a rivalry going back for generations. Why it took the form of rival dance groups was anyone¡¯s guess¡ªand many amused themselves by speculating on it¡ªbut the sheep herders were deadly serious about taking the win back from the reindeer herders this year. Last I heard they were training a funny stepping sheep to be part of the dance.

    Fellen was also caught up in the fervor. She kept trying to pester me into doing a dancing or singing contest at the festival. Normally, I would have let myself get caught up in a contest easily, but I wasn¡¯t in the mood. Besides the fact that I didn¡¯t have practice in either skill and didn¡¯t want to do a contest I knew I would lose, over the past few days I had been more easily irritated and fatigued than my healing injuries warranted. I was still trying to parse out why though I had my suspicions. Every girl, especially one who had learned the healing craft, had been taught the signs that their blooding might be coming soon.

    I couldn¡¯t leave the implications of that alone. Once my blooding came I would be an adult, finally marked with the goddess¡¯s eye and done with wearing a child¡¯s dress. Others would no longer be able to order me about simply because I was a child. But even as gratifying as that would be, if I got my blooding soon, this would be my last time in Grislander¡¯s Maw with the Gabbler Shore Tribe. I would only have little over two months with Fellen and Rawley. Only little over two months to continue training and do what I could to prepare for my first true step to becoming a whisper woman. To finally enter the Seedling Palace.

    Two spare months and a handful of days before I was truly on my own again.

    I could handle it. It was what I always wanted, after all. I didn¡¯t need others to become a whisper woman; I could set my own path under my own terms. And they would be better without me. Rawley would Crest and the others, and her traps, and her quiet observations to keep her busy. Fellen would have her mother and training and her insane goal to become a Realmwalker.

    I stopped sharpening my knife and looked up from where I sat on a tree root that broke free of the snow. Rawley and Nole had decided that training would take place in the forest today to practice hunting and brawling with uneven footing. Crest and the sisters had joined us. Apparently, our embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Picker band had left its impression on everyone.

    A little ways away Nole was coaching Fellen through different pinning holds she knew and how to break free of them. Keili and Veris were somewhere chasing each other through the trees. So far Keili had managed to stay on her feet longer and get tagged less often than her older sister. Rawley and Crest were supposedly sparring in front of me, but it had devolved into a reflection dance with a few half hearted punches and kicks added in, so they could pretend they were still practicing. It had been interesting to watch the dance at first¡ªhands rising in unison a bare inch apart, legs snapping out to a new position together without a word of coordination¡ªbut the more I saw, the more it felt like I was intruding on something private. Right then it felt like I could slip away into the woods and no one would notice a difference.

    Rawley and Crest didn¡¯t want to show off a dance during the large celebration, but had decided that they might share something once people split off into their family and friend groups. It was traditional during the Heartsong for things to get more personal as the night went on. Everyone started together, but then tribes would split off from each other, and later smaller groups of friends and family would split from those, and then lovers and other pairings could chose to split off from there. It was said that whoever you saw the dawn with on the last day of the festival would be bound to you for the next year.

    I had spent alternating years sequestered in the healers¡¯ alcoves, helping her while she grumbled about Father and drank sticky sap wine, unable to see the dawn, and out hip deep in the shallow lake, going numb from the freezing water and hoping the night would last forever so I wouldn¡¯t have to go back to her. Every year I wished Father only had her to please, so that I could always have at least one night out from under her gaze.

    ¡°Your turn.¡±

    I broke free of my thoughts to find Rawley holding a hand out toward me. Crest stood by, smiling and expectant, as she wiped the sweat from her forehead.

    Still, the extra buzz of irritation under my skin and the sickly feeling that always came with remembering her, made my reply harsher than I intended. ¡°For dancing or training?¡±

    Rawley drew back, more contemplative than shocked or angry. Then she blinked and seemed to come to a decision as a small smile drew up the corner of her mouth. ¡°Neither. How about we take a walk, you and I?¡±

    I sighed inwardly, knowing that it wouldn¡¯t just a simple walk but also that I wouldn¡¯t be able to get out of it. I tucked my knife and whetstone away before pushing myself to my feet. Then I started walking and my mentor fell easily into step next me after a nod to Crest. I felt her watch us for several long moments before her gaze slid away.

    Once we were out of earshot of the others, Rawley said, ¡°I¡¯ll wait.¡±

    However much I wanted to trust her I still couldn¡¯t spill my thoughts to her that easily. We continued forward, stepping around trunks and slipping under low hanging branches, in silence as she exude her air of easy, seemingly infinite patience, and I debated what to say. Some part of me wanted to rant about Grandmother and what she had done and my disappointing trip to the eastern side of the mountains, and another wanted to be petty and needle her for the time she spent with Crest and not me, for the fact that she could look forward to the coming festival, and because sometimes it was annoying that she could always be so collected when I couldn¡¯t. And there was still the excitement mixed with¡­a small amount of fear at the thought of what would happen if I got my blooding soon. A fourth part of me was panicky at the thought of admitting to any of it and was furiously trying to play out the different scenarios as we walked.

    This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

    In the end, I shoved down the frustrated anger and pettiness in favor of going with the thing she would find out regardless. ¡°I think I¡¯m going to get my blooding soon.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    She wasn¡¯t one to get distracted by the typical tangents of congratulations and excitement such an announcement would normally bring. Somehow she had once again seen some of the inner turmoil roiling under my skin and she wouldn¡¯t be satisfied until I gave her some hint of the reasons behind it.

    I skipped over my unnecessary thoughts about her and Fellen. ¡°That means I¡¯ll be leaving in a few months. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m ready for the Seedling Palace.¡±

    She chuckled and looked at me askance, ¡°You aren¡¯t.¡±

    I stared back wide-eyed; that hadn¡¯t been the response I was expecting. Then the frustration I¡¯d been holding down boiled back up. ¡°But you¡¯re the one always harping on the importance of preparation!¡±

    She nodded. ¡°And it is important, but it¡¯s impossible to be fully prepared when you don¡¯t even know what to prepare for.¡±

    Rawley stopped walking and gripped my shoulder as I followed suited. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean you should waste energy on frustration and worry. You¡¯ve done what you can to prepare¡ªoftentimes, that has to be enough.¡± Then she lifted her hand from my shoulder and took my chin in hand, so that I was forced to meet her gaze. ¡°Nor does repressing your thoughts and feelings help, as I¡¯ve said in the past. That is not control.¡±

    Pressure built behind my eyes, like I was about to cry, but no tears came. I wanted to tell her, to indulge sharing my fears and worries, let her know that I didn¡¯t want to leave her behind. But I knew, I knew, that never ended well. That it was just another trap I fashioned for myself and gifted into her hands.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    She sighed and let go of my chin. ¡°I¡¯ll keep waiting then.¡± Rawley started to walk forward again before she stopped and twisted to take me in again. ¡°Gimley?¡±

    It was my turn to wait.

    A gentle smile softened her face when she spoke, ¡°Congratulations.¡± Then she paused before adding, ¡°You don¡¯t have to dance or sing if you don¡¯t want to, but I was hoping you would join me and the others at the festival.¡±

    Another dangerous opportunity, but one that was difficult to resist when this Heartsong festival might be my last with the tribe, especially in comparison to how pathetic my experience had been in the past.

    I nodded, and her smile turned strong and satisfied.

    ¡°Good.¡±

    We finished the walk in quiet companionship and, for my part, silent relief.

    --

    Rawley helped me prepare long strips of wool and made sure I knew how to secure them over the next few days in preparation for my blooding, so I was ready when it came¡ªdespite the aching pain in my abdomen and back. What I didn¡¯t expect was the new set of adult clothes she presented to me as soon as I told her. Normally, Grandmother would have been the only one to give me a set as she was still my guardian. The clothes were well made and fit well when I put them on. There was even a flap on my left leg, decorated with small spear heads, so that I could still prick my mark when needed. It felt odd to be wearing pants, but I welcomed the feeling over wearing the mark of a child.

    I allowed myself to give her a wide smile. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    She smiled in return. ¡°I¡¯m glad you like them. Fellen and Crest helped me make them.¡±

    After that, we made our way to Grandmother. She raised her eyebrows at my clothes when we entered the tent, but otherwise didn¡¯t comment on them. ¡°I take it your blooding came then?¡±

    I nodded, and Grandmother said, ¡°Congratulations, girl.¡± She turned to her sister who was already bustling around the back of the tent, gathering things in her arms. ¡°Sister?¡±

    Old Lily picked up one last item and hurried over to us. ¡°Here¡¯s the inking tools and the clothes.¡±

    She congratulated me as she handed me the set of clothes. They were similar to Rawley¡¯s in that there was also a flap on the leg, but the tunic was dyed a deep gray rather than the mixture of green and brown Rawley¡¯s had been.

    Grandmother gestured to the ground in front of her. ¡°Lay down.¡±

    I did, pulling my new tunic up so that my stomach was exposed, and Old Lily and Rawley left to keep busy elsewhere. Grandmother got her inking tools ready, and I watched, wide eyed, as she pricked her wrist to mix the blood in with the ink and held the bowl over me.

    Then she spoke and tilted her face upward. ¡°Heliquat!¡± I couldn¡¯t help but flinch as she dared to speak the goddess¡¯s name. ¡°Know this girl, Gimley of the Gabbler Shore, as for the first time, she sheds some of the life in her blood and begins her journey as truly one of your daughters. With the marking of your eye on her body she vows that it is yours, to do with as you will. With this marking she vows to uphold your glory and act as an example to others.¡± Grandmother¡¯s gaze pinned me to the floor. ¡°Do you so vow?¡±

    I swallowed to clear a dry throat. ¡°I vow.¡±

    ¡°May you never need to turn your gaze fully on this one, goddess, as she will carry your eye with her.¡±

    Grandmother set the bowl down then, and began the process of marking me with the goddess¡¯s eye. I clenched my jaws against the pain as she pressed the bone shard into my stomach over and over and over again before wiping and pressing the ink into the tiny wounds. It hurt more than when Rawley had made my apprentice mark. But I refused to embarrass myself after Grandmother had called to the goddess and when I was finally, finally becoming an adult.

    I don¡¯t know how long it was before she added the last bit of ink to the mark and pronounced, ¡°It is done.¡±

    I held back the sigh of relief, but that still broke the barrier I erected against the pain and I grunted in pain as she helped me sit up. Grandmother bandaged the mark.

    She stopped me before I could stand up and leave. ¡°Never forget where you came from¡ªlose that and betrayal becomes a second, easy step. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Good. Now go. I have other things to tend to.¡±

    I left, but her words haunted me for a long time after.

 Ch. 46: Gathering Trip

    ¡°Are you ready?¡±

    I was still checking over my sling and supplies when Fellen arrived at the lone huntress area in the meeting hall. She had slipped away from her mother so that we could go on a gathering trip Rawley and Nole had given us permission to go on a few days before. It was going to be our first time doing something outside the valley on our own since we got separated from the tribe in Flickermark. I doubted anything would happen¡ªthere were sentries all over and my trip to the eastern side of the mountains had gone well¡ªbut prickles of apprehension pushed me to triple check that I had my water pouch and some food and that everything was in good order. It was.

    I picked up my gathering basket and slipped my arms through its straps so that it settled against my back. The shoulder the bane clawed twinged at the movement, but it was mostly healed except for a few scars. Given how everything was healing, I probably had less than a week before I had to return to Grandmother¡¯s tent.

    I answered Fellen, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    We left the meeting hall and made our way to the ridge where we first appeared above the valley. From there Fellen led us toward the base of the western mountains. Apparently, she knew a good spot to collect snow berries and weaver¡¯s grass. Her mother had taken her there in the past to gather supplies for her work.

    Ever since I had gotten my blooding, Fellen had become more persistent about doing things together. If it wasn¡¯t the gathering trip, it was training together or playing a game or some competition. I didn¡¯t begrudge her the time, even if it was getting somewhat exhausting trying to keep up with her and her list of activities. I did worry about what would happen when her mother lost her patience about her daughter¡¯s disappearing act. Fellen never let that line of conversation go on for long, however¡ªand I couldn¡¯t quite let it go.

    I didn¡¯t push her about right away though. I had quickly learned that it was better to give her some time and space, to do whatever it was she wanted to do before I started asking my questions. Still, the maniac way she had been going about things for the past week concerned me. It wasn¡¯t like her. And I couldn¡¯t believe that the new deadline for when I would go to the Seedling Palace was the only reason for it.

    The first stretch of our journey passed in silence¡ªanother reason I knew something was wrong. Along with the pensive look she wore when she wore when she didn¡¯t think I was looking and the clearly forced cheerful one she put on when she thought I almost saw the other one.

    Fellen finally added her voice to the sound of crunching snow and the occasional bird call after we had spent nearly an hour walking from the ridge.

    ¡°The weather¡¯s nice, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°Really?¡±

    She immediately turned defensive. ¡°It is!¡±

    Fellen wasn¡¯t wrong; the sky was clear and the air was still, so the cold wasn¡¯t being driven into our faces, but the topic was so weak that it barely had enough substance to hold itself up. I knew what the weather was like¡ªI was standing in it.

    ¡°If you¡¯re so desperate to talk pick a stronger topic.¡±

    She huffed and mumbled something that I probably wasn¡¯t supposed to hear, but heard anyway. ¡°I can¡¯t think of anything else!¡±

    I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. ¡°Since when do you run out things to say?¡±

    She rounded on me. ¡°Since you got your blooding! We were supposed to have another year together at least, but now you¡¯ll be gone in less than two months!¡±

    I faced her, feeling my own anger start to boil as she shoved the situation in my face. ¡°It¡¯s not like I could control it! Besides, you¡¯re the one who insisted that we shouldn¡¯t go our own separate ways, that it didn¡¯t matter that I would be leaving.¡±

    Her jaw set as she glared at me. ¡°That¡¯s when I thought I had a year! But no, you just had to get your blooding before the Dark Night celebrations. Now I only have less than two months to fit in all the things I wanted to do. That¡¯s barely any time to make sure that I win enough competitions that you can¡¯t forget me.¡±

    I blinked as I took a moment to try to process what I should address first. ¡°Fellen¡ª¡±

    ¡°No.¡± She held up a hand as she drew in a breath and let it out sharply. ¡°I don¡¯t need to hear ¡®I told you so¡¯ or ¡®let¡¯s just go our separate ways now¡¯. This isn¡¯t what we were supposed to talk about anyways.¡±

    Fellen turned on her heel and started marching forward. I hurried after her. She had planned on spending a year with me? Had thought through a list of things she wanted to do? It didn¡¯t make any sense why someone would want to do that. I had barely let myself hope that the cold season would continue as it had. She thought I could forget her? Sure, I could pretend but to actually do it?

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    I stopped walking as how absurdly impossible that task would be hit me.

    And I hated both how easily she had gotten me to care and how utterly oblivious she was being not to notice. It wasn¡¯t like I had competitions or voluntarily spent extra time talking with anyone else. And how stupid did she think I was that she thought I could forget the person I survived Flickermark with?

    ¡°Fellen.¡±

    She had made her way farther down the mountain, but I still saw her flinch when I said her name before she kept walking.

    I pitched my voice louder. ¡°Fellen!¡±

    She stopped to twist around and snap, ¡°What?¡±

    Ambition is nothing without discipline.

    For some reason, her mantra shoved its way to the forefront of my mind as I opened my mouth to speak¡ªfor once not entirely sure what I was going to say before I said it. ¡°Stop being an idiot. I recognized you as my rival, right? Maybe you should decide whether you recognize yourself as that too.¡± I walked forward until we were nearly touching shoulder to shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t waste time trying to prove something that¡¯s already been proven. Not that I know why you care.¡±

    Then I kept walking. Not because I knew where we were going, but because her face was becoming blotchy with teary anger and I didn¡¯t know how to respond to that. Distance seemed like a safe bet though.

    Snow crunched under a series of rapid footsteps and then two hands shoved against my shoulders. I stumbled but otherwise kept my footing.

    ¡°How dare you!¡± Fellen shoved me again before I could turn around. ¡°How dare you! First I have to find that you got your blooding and that you¡¯re going to leave because of your clothes and now you¡¯re trying to twist out compliments by saying you don¡¯t know why I care? You¡¯re a terrible, reclusive, self-important idiot who¡¯s smarter and more resilient than you have any right to be.¡±

    She shoved me again and that time I couldn¡¯t catch my balance and fell. She stood over me and I looked up to see tears falling as she flipped her hair back over one shoulder. ¡°Not that I should have to explain myself to you. You¡¯re the one who doesn¡¯t care and keeps stepping just out of reach so you can watch me struggle.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t say the words I knew she wanted me to admit. That was too big of a trap on a hair wire trigger to hand over. My thoughts felt jumbled and slow as I struggled to find something else that would work, that would calm her down. I didn¡¯t have time to find my words as, evidently, Fellen had found hers and they were flooding out.

    She sniffed hard. ¡°See? You didn¡¯t care enough to tell me that you would be leaving¡ªyou even keep pushing me to spend more time with Ma as if I won¡¯t have years still to see her. Two months! That¡¯s all we have before you go off to train at the Seedling Palace and pull even further ahead. How am I supposed to compete with that? How am I supposed to compete with friends who are going to become whisper women?¡±

    I swallowed hard before I felt my own anger boil over. I shoved myself to my feet. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to think about it, all right? I thought there¡¯d be more time too.¡± Exasperation pulled an ugly laugh from my throat. ¡°I don¡¯t care? You should know that isn¡¯t true just by the fact that we¡¯re standing here having this inane conversation.¡±

    As soon as I said the words I clamped my mouth shut. But I couldn¡¯t take them back and I could feel the implied admission in the air between us. Fellen pulled back, shock plain in her wide eyes.

    Her voice become soft when she spoke a few long moments later. ¡°What?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer her. Couldn¡¯t answer her.

    The anger and exasperation were quickly getting swallowed by a gray lake of tired apprehension. It was a familiar feeling¡ªone that always came when I had pushed her too hard and then simply had to wait for the consequences to hit.

    I rubbed a hand over my face. ¡°You should have picked someone else¡ªanyone else. Really, you¡¯re the one who should forget me.¡±

    I could deal with that especially if I knew it was coming. I knew how to dig out the roots. And it would be better. She could live her life safe and sound in the tribe while I refocused on becoming a whisper woman. I knew how to live without people, I just had to get back into the habit.

    Fellen dashed her tears away and scowled at me. ¡°Stop saying that. You¡¯re not very forgettable.¡± She let out a breath. ¡°We¡¯re not getting anywhere.¡± She waved a hand as if she was wiping away some of her thoughts. ¡°Fine. We only have until the Dark Night celebrations? Then we¡¯ll use what time we have. And you owe me a dance at the Heartsong festival.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to do a competition I know I¡¯ll lose.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t have to be a competition.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± Fellen passed by me and pointed. ¡°The gathering spot is right up here.¡±

    She rebuffed every attempt I made to get out of the dance as we finished making our way to a spot where the ground suddenly dropped about ten feet. The weaver¡¯s grass clung to the side of the tiny cliff in tall, thick clumps while the snow berries had squeezed their way through the tree roots only to fan out just above the snow so it looked like a mat of green and red covered the ground. More snow actually helped the berry plants. If they got snowed on again, they would simply grow another layer while the berries that got covered would burst from the cold, sending seeds into the surrounding area. You always had to be careful after a fresh snow fall in places where the berries grew, because if you weren¡¯t you could get pelted by the seeds as the snow berries burst.

    Fellen and I made quick work of collecting the grass and berries as we both appreciated having something to keep our hands busy. We could work together and pretend that we hadn¡¯t just had an argument over things neither of us had wanted to admit. And when it was time to return to Grislander¡¯s Maw, we both tactfully decided to talk about our huntress training rather than comment on the fact that had probably been one of the last times we would go on a gathering trip together.

 Ch. 47: Preparations

    Over the next two weeks Fellen pulled out all the stops on her burr-like qualities. She didn¡¯t take ¡°no¡± from anyone, not even her mother. She wouldn¡¯t tell me exactly what happened with her but, given the rumors and what I knew of their relationship, it wasn¡¯t difficult to guess. Apparently, when Fellen returned to her family¡¯s tent at our gathering trip her mother and her had gotten into an argument that was loud enough at times for those close by to make out what was said. I didn¡¯t doubt most of the noise had come from her mother, given the scene she caused when we arrived at Grislander¡¯s Maw. I assumed that Fellen had decided she needed more time outside than she could get by sneaking away, so she had announced to her mother that she refused to be kept in the tent any longer. Lendra took that badly and things escalated from there. However, Lendra wasn¡¯t nearly a match for her daughter¡¯s sheer ramheadedness and determination when it came to something she had decided for herself.

    So now Fellen was free to spend the remaining days I was with the tribe packing my days full of activities¡ªunless it was time for training. Nole was the only one she still listened to without getting stubborn. I became grateful to the huntress for that; for all that it was novel and interesting spending hours on end with Fellen without struggling to survive, I could only take so much before I started to feel the strain. I was used to quiet and spending long hours focusing on a single task by myself, and while we would sit side by side working on some project or training together, Fellen was more interested in doing competitions and talks and games one after the other. I tried to be more lenient than normal before I became snappish¡ªevery time I looked at her I could see the manic desperation in her eyes that came with the knowledge of time becoming short¡ªbut there were times when she pushed for too long and the strain broke my control over my tongue.

    Still, her sudden change in behavior gave the rumormongers whiplash. They struggled to reconcile the meek, subservient girl they¡¯d been crafting in their stories with the stubborn, outgoing girl they were now presented with. And as they were left in the wind, trying to reconcile what they assumed and what they saw, the sentiment that we had completed the goddess¡¯s trial with our wits and resolve gained traction. Some people, who had barely acknowledged my presence in the past, would even nod their heads in respect as we passed.

    There was one sticking point other than training that interrupted Fellen¡¯s plan to spend all the waking hours with me. About four days after the gathering trip my wounds healed up enough that I had to move back to Grandmother¡¯s tent¡ªand she was less than keen on Fellen interrupting at all hours when there was work to do. A schedule¡ªthat I had little say in¡ªwas set. I didn¡¯t appreciate that Grandmother could still dictate how I spent my time, but while I was an adult I was also still her ward since I hadn¡¯t completed an apprenticeship yet. Given that there wouldn¡¯t be time for me to complete my huntress training with Rawley before I left, I would technically be her ward until I became a whisper woman.

    Early to midmorning was reserved for Grandmother and what chores or rituals she wanted my help with. Then Fellen and I were free to do what we wanted until the midday meal. Most of the afternoon was reserved for training and then we had until the evening meal to do activities again.

    It was odd spending so many hours out and about in the forest and the valley, but I relished the freedom of it, even with the schedule. My shoulders still tended to tense up when I got up to leave Grandmother¡¯s tent, but she never stopped me. And truth be told, I needed those hours of quiet in the mornings doing repair work or cleaning or sorting. Even with training breaking the day up, I don¡¯t think I would have made to the evening meal everyday without saying something stupid otherwise.

    I learned over those two weeks that while I had the chance to be passable at dancing, I certainly didn¡¯t have a gift for it. Fellen insisted that we practice everyday. Never for very long, in case we caught the goddess¡¯s eye, but Fellen was set on us doing a short reflection dance which required that we matched each other¡¯s movements and timing. I tried to convince her to do a formation dance instead, which were thought to be easier, but my reasons and protests fell on deaf ears. The Dance of Water into Ice was the only dance for her; at least I had seen it performed at the festival in the past.

    While I did allow Fellen to have her way more as we prepared for the Heartsong festival, I didn¡¯t turn into a pushover. I didn¡¯t let her win any of the competitions if I could help it, and I made sure a decent amount of things we did could be considered training for the Seedling Palace. Every evening before the meal, I would recite one of the myths I knew to her, to help keep them fresh in my mind, and when I learned she was having difficulty memorizing some of the different plants we needed to know for our huntress training, I began to help her study. While I might not be able to use the healing knowledge I knew about each plant, knowing its other properties and keeping my ability to quickly recall information honed were important.

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    All in all, those two weeks passed by quickly. It felt too soon when I saw people begin to make rings of pine needles around their tents and the smell of bitter bark cakes came from the cooking fires. The Heartsong festival always started in the evening and then lasted two more nights, for a total of three nights and two days. As that last day before the festival progressed more and more people began to appear with light blue painted onto their faces and hands. Some even managed to get the color of folly and motion and frivolity streaked into their hair.

    I had never liked to wear the festival paint ever since she had smeared it across my eyelids and mouth and claimed that now my outsides finally matched my insides; that perhaps now I would realize how foolish my clever answers really were. After that I took to only wearing a bit of the festival paint on my hands, if at all.

    But when Fellen handed me a bowl of the sticky paint in the meeting hall as we were getting ready with Rawley and the others I paused instead of simply doing a couple simple dots on the back of each hand. Her opinions didn¡¯t matter anymore, nor did she get to control me anymore.

    I turned to where Rawley sat nearby, pinning back some of her hair with a comb Veris had made. Crest had already done her paint in a double row of spikes that wrapped around her left eye in a semicircle.

    I held out the bowl to her. ¡°Will you do mine?¡±

    She blinked, obviously surprised before she smiled and finished putting the comb in place. ¡°Gladly.¡±

    Rawley took the bowl from me and I scooted closer so that we sat facing each other. She studied my features for a moment before picking up a small stone stylus that lay by her knee. Rather than just using her fingers she dipped the stylus into the paint and used it to apply the paint to my face. She made a row of dots just above my eyebrows before doing two more rows of dots under my eyes, but not all the way to my nose. It was a simple design but effective, especially when combined with my trial mark.

    Rawley smiled at me again as she set the bowl and stylus down. ¡°Fierce and beautiful. May I do your hair as well? Or would you prefer it down?¡±

    I accepted her offer. I had gotten used to her detangling and braiding my hair during quiet, private moments of teaching, and the thought of having to fight to keep the hair out of my eyes during the festival was annoying enough without having to deal with the real thing. She braided several small braids before pulling all of my hair back into one secure, simple plait so that the smaller braids wove throughout it. I appreciated the fact that she didn¡¯t do anything too fancy so that I didn¡¯t have to worry about it coming apart while dancing with Fellen.

    Once everyone was ready, we began the hike up to the ridge that separated the valley from the lands beyond. It didn¡¯t take us long to catch up with the others already making their way to the top of the ridge. All the tribes were heading there for the start of the festival as was customary. Once we joined the crowd, it was slow going, but Veris, Crest, and Rawley kept the conversation going as others chimed in and kept the walk from being born out in tedious anxiety. I had keep reminding myself not to search the crowd every time I felt someone¡¯s gaze on me. I didn¡¯t need to know if it was the twins or Father or her, didn¡¯t want to know.

    We weren¡¯t able to get a spot in the trees on either side of the ridge, which were considered more lucky and a good omen to the start of the festival, so we ended up somewhere near the middle of the ridge, just before it began its decline into the foot hills below. Conversation buzzed around us and through the crowd you could spot young children playing and a few people getting some last minute practice steps in.

    Then, as the sun began to disappear behind the horizon, came the crack of multiple rhythm sticks hitting together from all around the crowd. Conversation immediately ceased and everyone immediately stood at attention. Three rapid cracks cut through the air and you could feel the tension as nearly two thousand people prepared for what came next.

    With the next crack of the rhythm sticks everyone stomped with their left foot and clapped. With each beat, we stomped and raised our hands a little higher until they were raised over our heads, as high as they could go. There was a pause as we watched the sun sink behind the horizon.

    And then there was an incoming roar as wind born from nothing tore from the direction of the Seedling Palace. I stumbled back from the force of it when the wind hit me, eyes stinging. After that initial gust the wind died down, but didn¡¯t go away completely. It wove through the crowd, ruffling hair and brightening cheeks¡ªand if you listened closely you could hear a woman¡¯s clear, powerful voice singing.

    Every year the goddess graced her people with the Beloved¡¯s song.

    No one moved until the wind and song disappeared completely. Once they did, the Grandmothers¡¯ voices rang out, ¡°For the Beloved!¡±

    Prayer needles were pulled out and marks pricked as everyone echoed, ¡°For the Beloved!¡±

    Nearly two thousand drops of blood hit the snow and disappeared into dust as the goddess accepted the offerings. Fellen twisted around to look at me, eyes bright with excitement. Rawley and Crest clasped hands.

    The Heartsong festival had begun.

 Ch. 48: Heartsong Festival

    Down in the valley, Fellen and I stood by and watched as hundreds of people found spots to participate in the large formation dance that always happened shortly after the beginning of the festival. As an adult, I could have joined Rawley, Crest, Veris, and Keili where they stood in pairs across from each other in a circle nearby, but I had no desire to embarrass myself before the reflection dance with Fellen. Nole felt a similar sentiment, so she stood off to the side behind Fellen. She could have stood closer, but Nole always seemed a little more distant and quiet when an activity wasn¡¯t clearly focused on being between a huntress and her apprentice.

    It took some time to organize everyone who wanted to join the dance and find a them a place with a partner in the concentric circles. The dance took place on a small rise of rounded land that made easier for people to see the inner circles, and some difficult idiots always had to insist on being in the center rather than where spots were available. As the Echoes shuffled people about and doubled checked the formations, more than a few groups of people made their way to the cooking fires dotting the area to snack on bitter bark cakes and drink boiled river jewel berries. The boiled berries made a pretty blue drink that others liked because it softened the bite of the bitter bark cakes. I always thought it tasted too sweet. Others had also gotten out festival pipes and were puffing the smoke of ground up fuzz grass into the air. Not many people participated in that option though, because while your senses and reactions were heightened for a few hours when you crashed the most you could do was sleep¡ªfew people thought that missing half the night¡¯s festivities was worth the thrill of being that aware.

    Fellen grabbed my wrist and pointed. ¡°Look!¡±

    I had to quell my initial reaction to pull away at the sudden, unexpected touch before I focused back on Rawley and the others like Fellen wanted. The formation dance had begun. The movements were simple and repetitive as every time the dancers completed a set, the movements brought them to their next partner in the line facing them. I think that was why the goddess allowed them at other celebrations; they were the most basic of the dances and prized order and cooperation so that everything worked smoothly.

    However, even with the simple movements, watching that many people dance in sync while those of us in the crowd clapped and stomped in time was also an impressive experience. And that was without even taking into consideration the bluish-green glow that trailed after the dancers¡¯ bodies as they moved. It looked like the waves of light that sometimes danced in the sky at night. The myths suggested that those lights were created from Her Beloved¡¯s song or appeared as a mark of luck from the Beloved. They also said that the light effects that happened during the festival were so that the Beloved could see all the people honoring her throughout Her territory.

    I watched, a bit awed, as the dancers created a large, slowly swirling blue-green beacon for the Beloved as the light followed them as they moved. When I glanced over at Fellen her eyes were wide and bright with anticipation and I didn¡¯t need to hear her say it to know that she was vowing to herself that she would participate as an adult.

    The formation dance ended as the Echoes cracked their rhythm sticks together and began their own dance toward the center circle of dancers. The light faded from the outside ring of dancers first as they finished their last set and parted to let the Echoes through. One by one each successive circle completed one more set than the last as the Echoes brought their sticks together and twirled and wove around each other as they progressed forward. I had always liked watching the end of the formation dance because of the interesting dichotomy of watching the light die around the dancers as the light around the Echoes became more vibrant.

    When the Echoes reached the center of all four circles, there was a pause as they took their last swirling step into a circle of their own, rhythm sticks crossed with their neighbors¡¯. Then every other one lifted their sticks high into the air before slamming them back down onto the others¡¯ waiting sticks. A crack like thunder exploded from them. Those that had their sticks hit, lowered them next before returning the gesture and slamming them back up against their neighbors¡¯. Crack. Then they began to side step in place, gently tapping their sticks together in quick paired beats.

    Fellen and I both strained forward, trying to get a better view, as we knew what came next. One by one, as the other Echoes kept the rhythm, they stepped forward into the center of the circle and perform their solo. Some laughed and did tricks like throwing and catching their sticks in the air or got some of the other Echoes to start another beat while others were solemn and strove to prove themselves through their skill alone. When Old Lily stepped into the circle, I couldn¡¯t help but shift a bit more to see through the crowd. Despite the fact that her kindness was uncomfortable and unwelcome, she had always been one of my favorite Echoes to watch during this performance. She never did anything overtly fancy, but her movements were among the most fluid among the group and even I knew enough to know that she made tricky beats and using different sounds look easy. Not everything had to be a harsh cracking sound.

    Once the last Echo stepped back into the circle, they picked up the tempo and did another group performance as they all wove around each other in various formations. It got faster and faster as they went until I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised if some got hit with a stick because they missed the timing. But no one got hurt and their dance ended with their signature three rapid hits.

    Crack. Crack. Crack.

    The light faded as we all clapped and the more boisterous cheered. The Echoes took a few long moments to bask in the praise before they split up to return to their respective Grandmothers. Excited murmurs swept through the crowd as people eyed the trampled snow the performances had left behind.

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    It was time for the competitions to begin.

    I slipped away from Fellen with the promise that I would return with bitter bark cakes and river jewel juice for her and Nole. They were going to try to meet up with Rawley and the others, and try to secure a better spot to watch the sheep and reindeer herders face off. While I could still feel the gazes of watching eyes, there was some relief in not having to worry about being engaged in conversation. People were finally learning¡ªor remembering¡ªthat I wasn¡¯t pleasant to talk to and that trying to get me to talk about Flickermark was a waste of time for all involved.

    I was given a decently wide berth as I made my way to collect the food and drinks like I promised. That in and of itself wasn¡¯t new¡ªpeople thinking I had too much life in me as a healer¡¯s daughter had a similar effect¡ªbut the experience of it was. People¡¯s eyes went to my chin rather than my hair, and the space seemed to be born out uncertainty and fledging respect, rather than fear and disdain.

    After I got the food and drink, I found Fellen, Nole, Rawley, and Crest near the bottom of the rise of land where the competitions would be held. Fellen seemed to have a similar berth given to her from the way the rest of the crowd bent around the group. I didn¡¯t mind it in the least. I didn¡¯t have the hands to also get Rawley and Crest the juice, but it looked like they had gotten their own, and the pouch of cakes I had intimidated out of the cook had more than enough to spare. As the pouch was passed around I learned that Veris and Keili had wandered off to encourage a reindeer herder they knew.

    We sat on oil treated animal skins that Rawley and Crest had retrieved from their stuff. They, along with some wool blankets, kept most of the cold and wet from melted snow away. The dances, singing, and competitions were held outside the meeting hall so that the Beloved would have a chance to see us honoring her, as well as the fact that we could see well in the dark with the star and moonlight. Given that the glow stones needed recharged at night, we would have had to waste fuel to see in the dark of the meeting hall had we held the festival there.

    The competition between the herders was amusing, though I didn¡¯t laugh out loud or chuckle at the funny stepping sheep like Fellen or Crest did. There were multiple groups from each side that were paired to face off against each other and those that won were paired off again until only one side of herders remained. The winners were determined by who got the most cheers and applause at the end of each round. The sheer oddity of seeing the bluish-green light trailing after the sheep as it stumbled from side to side and walked backwards¡ªnearly knocking over one of its co-performers¡ªgot the sheep herders the overall win.

    Boos and grumbling exploded from the reindeer supporters in the crowd after the tribe leader running the competition made the announcement. The sheep supporters quickly drowned them out, however, with wild cheers, boasts, and taunts. I knew to expect fights to break out as the night wore on. In years past, during our alloted time in the designated healers¡¯ tent, that had been one of the main causes of the injuries I had to treat.

    Then it was time for the general performances on a first come, first serve basis. Any who wanted to could join the line to wait an interminable amount of time before ascending to the top of the rise with the hopes to not embarrass themselves in front of everyone in the valley. Dancers and singers were the most common of course, but others also used the chance to show off other odd talents like the ability to juggle or hit the center of a moving target repeatedly.

    Fenris, our tribe¡¯s Pack Leader, especially favored the latter talent and every year tried to goad Rawley into competing against her. She wanted to prove her superiority¡ªthough I didn¡¯t doubt my mentor¡¯s ability to match or exceed her skill. I don¡¯t think I ever saw Rawley actually compete against her. Instead, Rawley tended to brush off her comments or twist her words so that Fenris accidentally ended up insulting herself. Both served well to humiliate and enrage the Pack Leader, though she could little more than take her anger out on the target in front of the crowd. It also spawned the next year¡¯s worth of rumors about Rawley¡¯s audacity, their relationship, and theories that Rawley actually made Fenris mad so that she would perform better.

    I did not want to join the line. Or dance in front of the whole valley. But Fellen ignored my protests and my glares and dragged me with her. I would much rather have taken the safe option of staying in the crowd, so that I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about embarrassing myself at all. Fellen didn¡¯t care.

    ¡°You owe me the dance.¡± Fellen leveled her own glare at me, arms crossed, as we stood in line.

    ¡°We could do the dance just as well in front of a small group.¡± I gestured to the large crowd. ¡°Not this.¡±

    Fellen turned as the line shuffled forward. ¡°We practiced, we¡¯re in line¡ªI¡¯m not letting you get out of this.¡±

    I rolled my eyes; I knew that much. ¡°But why does it have to be in front of the whole valley?¡±

    ¡°Because than everyone can see that we¡¯re not scared.¡± She smirked. ¡°If we can do something like this, there¡¯s a better chance we could make our way through Flickermark too.¡±

    It was stupid, but I could see where she was coming from. This was a way to prove ourselves on a small scale; that¡¯s how everyone else would see it, if we did well. Children and newly turned adults didn¡¯t usually brave the stage in front of all the tribes. I didn¡¯t really care what they thought of me¡ªso long as it furthered the idea that people should stop bothering me for gossip¡ªbut Fellen would have to deal with these people for years yet, if not her whole life. Earning respect could only help her. I stayed in line despite the part of me that was absolutely sure the whole thing would end horribly.

    When it was finally our turn, we walked up the side of the rise and told the Echo waiting at the top what dance we planned to do. She nodded and readied her sticks to provide a bit of background sound. We stood facing each other.

    On the count of three we began. The Dance of Water into Ice began with fluid movements but as it went on they became more choppy, unsurprisingly like we were becoming frozen. It was odd to dance with the Echo¡¯s light tapping and scraping of her sticks, and odder still to notice the light grow and trail after me as I matched Fellen¡¯s movements. A jolt of dread spiked through me as both the mark on my thigh and my chin began to prickle before I realized they were probably just reacting to the goddess¡¯s magic. We finished the dance kneeling in the snow, chins lowered, foreheads nearly touching, an arm outstretched like we were reaching for something.

    Applause and a few scattered cheers broke out. It hadn¡¯t been perfect, but it had been good. I met Fellen¡¯s gaze and gave her a private, satisfied smile.

 Ch. 49: Myths Sung and Told

    The night went by quickly after our dance. I mostly stayed on our group¡¯s furs, alternating between paying attention to the performers on the rise and whatever discussion happened to be occupying the others. Keili and Veris joined us after a time which incited a lively debate between the sheep and reindeer herder supporters, despite the fact that the winner had already been determined, as well as some ribbing. They left again a while later to get food and drink and see others that they knew. The others were also more prone to leaving and returning; I felt like the stake in a fishing group in Flickermark, but holding onto a handful of different lines rather than just one. Rawley, Crest, and Nole also had other people to see and interest in the smaller song and dance demonstrations that popped up from time to time. Fellen kept me company for as long as she could, but even she had to check in with her parents.

    What I don¡¯t think they understood was that, as much as it was odd and gratifying to have so many people include me in their group, the times I spent on the furs alone were some of the most relaxing of the night. I didn¡¯t care what everyone else in the valley thought, and the tension that came with monitoring their moods and reactions along with gauging whether I was allowing myself to get too close or not faded away. I could just sit there and think or watch the performers or stare at the stars without worrying about anything else.

    Nor did I let the fact that they had others to see while I had others I didn¡¯t want to take the chance of seeing turn my mood bitter. It just was, and those that were in my group were already more than enough. As evidenced by my reactions to Crest on the hunting trip, I already had my hands full. Nor should she or Father or the twins have any impact on my mood or my time. I had a festival full of interesting sights and sounds to enjoy.

    So, I sat on the treated animal skins, wrapped in a blanket, and enjoyed the feeling of the open air around me, the company when they joined me, and the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted.

    About the second or third time I was sitting alone, a pretty girl about my age stepped onto the top of the rise. She caught my attention when she started to sing¡ªthe song was a cautionary tale about Grislander and the resulting shamble men. She also had a tiny bird that flitted and hopped around. I think it was supposed to add to the spectacle but I found it more distracting than anything else. When the blue-green light began to drift from her body as she sang, I saw that her skin was the color of a pine cone, something that I heard was more common in the tribes north of the Root Mountains. Her dark brown hair fell in tight curls over her shoulders to her elbows, framing a fine boned face and pouty lips. Most notably, standing out from the festival paint on her face, a bless mark swept from under her right eye and down her cheek in two lines, the bottom one shorter than the other. Both lines indented slightly before they changed direction from being horizontal under her eye to angling towards her ear. From the adult clothes she wore, she would be joining Prevna and me when we left for the Seedling Palace.

    I listened until she finished her performance. The version of the myth she chose to sing was a common one known as ¡°Grislander: The Folly of Wishes¡± that the Grandmothers didn¡¯t maintain selective rights to tell. It focused more on the dog¡¯s downfall and the morals of the story rather than recounting in detail the gritty aftermath or the ill-thought reasons that pushed the tribes into creating their folly like the other versions I learned.

    When she left the hill, she was clapped on the shoulder by what looked to be a congratulatory older brother. As they rounded the rise, I wondered if the bird had something to do with her blessing before focusing back on the dancer who came after her.

    Dawn found me fuzzy headed and bleary eyed, Fellen asleep on my shoulder and Rawley and Crest cuddled up behind us under another blanket. The performances had petered off around an hour or two before as everyone became too tired and full of bitter bark cake to want to put the effort in to keep them going. Someone had started singing loudly and off-key somewhere between that and dawn but they were quickly hushed by snickers and a mortified lover. Now everyone was huddled and bunched together in quiet groups, not quite ready to let the first night of the festival end, but also lacking the energy to keep it exciting. Public affection, as long as it wasn¡¯t too eye or ear catching like that song, was more accepted during those tired hours and many friends and partners took shy advantage of it.

    With dawn though, people started to stir into greater movement, pick up their things, and shuffle off to their tents to rest and prepare for the night ahead. I shook Fellen awake as Rawley and Crest gave each other a quick kiss before rising. We helped them gather up the blankets and furs and then, once they had it all in hand, we murmured goodbyes and parted ways.

    I headed toward Grandmother¡¯s tent, doing my best not to yawn every minute. During the last third of the walk I found myself walking next to Prevna. I shot the other girl a baleful glare and then ignored her. She dismissed the look with a shrug and also kept silent. We finished the walk like that. Grandmother, Old Lily, and the other wards were already inside the tent when we arrived. Grandmother was the only one still awake though.

    She rose her eyebrows at us as we entered from where she sat on her pallet, but refrained from making a comment as she glanced at her sister. I ignored her too and immediately laid down on my pallet, rolling over to face the tent wall. I heard Prevna settle in on the other side of the tent and Grandmother shift before my eyes drifted shut and I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

    - -

    I awoke around early afternoon. The tent was still quiet, though Old Lily had left at some point and Grandmother was eating a bowlful of cooked tubers and nuts with a piece of flat bread.

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    She indicated the bowl and spoke softer than normal, ¡°Lily will be back with more soon, if eating food someone else brought isn¡¯t too burdensome of a help for you.¡±

    I clenched my jaw and kept myself from biting back a response. I had learned that with Grandmother it never did any good. I saw her note my restraint and smile slightly.

    ¡°Good. You¡¯re learning.¡± The patronizing tone of her voice nearly provoked me into doing more than glare at her, but Old Lily swept into the tent then, waking everyone as she and a couple boys set bowls down.

    I ate and then hurried to the river to clean the festival paint off my face. It would be reapplied later, but what remained from the night before felt crusty and uncomfortable. Like always, that afternoon passed by in a sedate, lazy fashion as everyone recovered from the night before and then prepared for the night ahead. Some people practiced their dancing and singing openly, for long stretches now that it was accepted, and it was odd to see the blue-green light rise up from their bodies in the middle of the afternoon.

    Once I had washed off the paint, I decided it wasn¡¯t enough. So I spent a good portion of the time before I joined Rawley and others, bathing and swimming in the river. My hair froze in the cold air on my way to the meeting hall, so it took it even longer than normal to dry once I was inside. Fellen found me in the lone huntress area. We spent the rest of the afternoon playing red hands and Recall while the huntresses idled around working on personal projects and recounting their greatest hunts.

    After the evening meal we all got ready again, quicker than we had the day before, with festival paint and fixing our hair. Rawley offered her help again and, not to be fussy, I had her do the same face and hair designs as the day before. Then we had to part ways with Crest, Keili, and Veris as they belonged to other tribes.

    The three clans always spent the second night celebrating up in the mountains while those of us that visited the valley for the cold season centered our celebrations on where we made camp. Unlike the night before the second night¡¯s celebration tended to be more free flowing with people bursting into song and dance at random spots, and generally more mischief occurring. One of the favorite games of the night was to try to tuck an animal tail into the back of Grandmother¡¯s belt while she wasn¡¯t paying attention. Failure meant having to recite a tale of Grandmother¡¯s choosing in front of everyone and you had to keep trying until you got the telling correct. She was rarely kind in what stories she chose, so some ended up standing for hours red-faced and fumbling before she let them go. Successful attempts were the stuff of rumor and legend¡ªfrom what I could remember Grandmother had only missed catching two or three people since I was born.

    That said, the second night of the festival did have ceremonial start to it. We all gathered in front of her tent according to social rank. I sat to the side of the tent with the other wards while Rawley joined the huntresses and Fellen joined her mother in the upper half of the crowd. Old Lily stood across from us, ready in her ceremonial clothes and rhythm sticks in hand. Every year Grandmother got to pick a story about the Beloved to regale us with and Old Lily added in background sounds to punctuate and underscore her sister¡¯s words.

    Grandmother stepped out of the tent and immediately tension filled the air as we all waited to learn what she had picked. Still, a part of me couldn¡¯t help but note and be amused by Delly, one of the other wards, scrambling to tie the tent flap shut before taking her place back in line. It cut into the serious air seeing Grandmother in her ceremonial robes always instilled.

    Grandmother stepped into the middle of the space between her tent and the tribe before taking a long moment to survey all of us. When she spoke she slowly spread her hands wide at her sides. ¡°The Beloved has long been the best of us, the one who caught the goddess¡¯s ear and guided us to survival. A role model to follow, a paragon to aspire to!¡± She paused to give us a moment to reflect on the Beloved¡¯s accomplishments. ¡°Tonight I shall tell you a tale that takes place before that first meeting in Whistler Pass, a tale that reminds us that her strongest trait we should aspire to is her strength of will! Hear me now and hear me clear: The tale of the Beloved¡¯s Crossing begins!¡±

    No one knew where the Beloved came from or who she had been before the young woman in the tale, but we all knew of the Beloved¡¯s Crossing. Driven by curiosity to know more about the goddess who was made out to be more of a malevolent force than a thinking entity, to better understand how the Era of Night ended, the Beloved had pushed through the mountains separating the two goddess¡¯s territories. She started with a group of close to a hundred people and ended the journey in Whistler Pass with under thirty. She led her people through snow storms and landslides and predator attacks with quick thinking and an unbreakable will. Multiple times different people tried to convince her to turn back, that forcing their way through the mountains to see unknown lands and a goddess that would probably kill them wasn¡¯t worth it. Her reply was always the same, ¡°I¡¯m continuing on, but if that¡¯s as far as your will goes I can¡¯t force you to continue with me.¡± Some turned back¡ªand likely ended up dead¡ªbut most pushed to finish the journey they started.

    Grandmother knew her audience well and soon she had us hanging on every word¡ªdespite the fact that most of us had heard the tale at least a dozen times in the past. We waited with baited breath when the group was caught in an unexpected snow storm and offered blood in mourning when the Beloved¡¯s second in command froze to death.

    Grandmother¡¯s smile was vicious proud as she finished the story. ¡°So, the haggard group finally stumbled into Whistler¡¯s Pass only to find a woman with stars in Her hair and deep blue skin waiting for them. The Beloved straightened and halted her people, recognizing that if they took a step closer the goddess would kill them with barely a thought and less remorse. Then the Beloved announced, ¡®I wish to understand¡¯. She saw death waiting in the goddess¡¯s eyes and refused to flinch as She responded, ¡®Then let¡¯s reveal what you know¡¯.¡± Grandmother clasped her hands together. ¡°But what follows is a story for another time. Go! Honor Her Beloved, and don¡¯t forget that even reaching the first step of a journey can take more strength than most can bear!¡±

    Fenris whirled on her Pack huntresses. ¡°Who has that strength?¡±

    ¡°We do!¡±

    Ghani picked up that question and threw it at the tribe. ¡°Who has that strength?¡±

    They screamed back. ¡°We do!¡±

    Grandmother made the final call. ¡°Who has that strength?¡±

    ¡°We do! We do! We do!¡± The answer became a chant as everyone stomped their feet in time with Old Lily¡¯s rhythm sticks. Then someone turned the stomping into a dance, and the ceremonial start to the evening devolved into the dancing, singing, and mischief to come.

 Ch. 50: Awkward Encounters

    I didn¡¯t immediately meet up with Fellen, Rawley, and Nole that night. Fellen had informed me earlier that her mother had put her foot down and insisted that she got time to spend with her daughter when she wasn¡¯t already exhausted. Fellen had argued at first that was what the last night of the festival was for, but then she relented when she saw how much it meant to her mother. We would meet up later in the night after she had spent a few hours with her parents and family friends.

    Without Fellen to even out the dynamics I felt like an extra piece of luggage hanging around my mentor and Nole, so while we were getting ready I had prompted them to spend time with the other huntresses and people they were friendly with. I think Rawley saw through my lie when I said that I had plans and would be fine, but she still went along with my prompting. I told myself that would be like the night before, that I could enjoy the solitude.

    But it wasn¡¯t. And I could feel difference as I stood by Grandmother¡¯s tent and watched the tribe split into smaller groups, spreading throughout the camp, smiling and laughing. Some went to man food stations while others gathered friends into dancing groups or friendly competitions of various skills. Some stood in loose circles gossiping or playing group games like Remember the Tune, where each person had to repeat the notes of the players who had already gone before adding three of their own. A few people were eying where Grandmother had disappeared into her tent with Old Lily to change¡ªhands suspiciously hovering near large pouches or the edge of a tunic, places where a fox or rabbit tail could easily be hid.

    I recognized them all. They all had a place; there wasn¡¯t any need to hesitate over what they would do or who they would spend their time with. And I was not, and never been, counted among that number. The night before I had been one of a couple thousand, surrounded by people I had little or no ties with. I had a place as one of the girls with the trial marks as well as one of the audience watching the performers on the rise.

    But tonight? Tonight, surrounded only by people who knew my history, I was reduced back to the former healer¡¯s daughter. The one they ignored or pitied or scorned. I wasn¡¯t welcome among their groups even as a curiosity and, having given up the company of the few who would welcome me, I had nowhere to go. I expected they assumed out of habit that I would slink away into the healer¡¯s tent or along in her shadow as I had in years past, but those weren¡¯t an option for me even if I had wanted them. My mouth tasted sour as I watched the tribe enjoy their evening while I felt like I had unexpectedly stepped into some soiled trap.

    So I stood awkwardly in place, caught between my ruined excitement for the night and uncertainty about whether I should wander through the camp anyway or disappear from this place that didn¡¯t have room for me until it was time to meet up with the others. I didn¡¯t want to catch hints of the snickers and gossip that would surely come if I stayed, but it also felt like a defeat if I left.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t this your tribe? Why are you still standing there?¡± Prevna stepped up next to me. Her tone sounded genuinely curious, but her questions needled all the same.

    I gave her a sidelong look and challenged her back. ¡°Why are you?¡±

    She shrugged, a little defensive, a little sarcastic. ¡°No one wanted to get to know the gray lipped horror.¡±

    I smirked. ¡°Exactly.¡±

    Prevna snorted. ¡°Your lips look ordinary to me.¡±

    I could have kept it from her, but the uniform pressure from the tribe that quietly said you don¡¯t belong among us made me want to throw my childhood in her face and see if she would join in with their disapproval. I pulled out the tuft of hair Rawley had tucked away under other strands¡ªit now fell about eye level and was annoying when not pulled back¡ªand twisted to face Prevna.

    ¡°Try the recently beaded horror.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s eyes widened and then narrowed as she worked through the implications of what I said. From the way she drew back slightly I knew that Picker bands were also thorough in their training about getting too close to life-ridden healers. However, her question that followed did surprise me.

    ¡°Why did you cut them off?¡±

    Most would have simply assumed I had made the wise personal choice to no longer be imbued with so much life or that I had failed in my training. But I wasn¡¯t about to spill the whole sequence of events that pushed me into cutting off my healer¡¯s beads just because she thought to ask.

    I faced forward again, leaving the cut hair to blow freely in the breeze that brushed by. ¡°I was forced to.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t want to?¡±

    I didn¡¯t dignify that with a response; what I had said already answered her question, and if she was smart, she knew that. Nor was I in the mood to explain the thrill of successfully treating a wound or illness, the feeling of discovery as I learned about a new plant and its uses. That would just welcome the aching longing for what I could no longer have, the dangerous itch to test how all seeing the goddess really was¡ªand she wouldn¡¯t understand anyway. For her and the rest, even the majority of healers, the healing craft was simply an unwelcome but necessary burden. Who would find joy and feel enriched by such a thing?

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    When it became clear to her that I wasn¡¯t going to answer, she spoke up, ¡°Look, I wanted to say that I didn¡¯t poison you by choice and that last time, if I could have taken it back sooner, I would have.¡±

    I snorted. ¡°Have you even been poisoned by Black Root?¡±

    ¡°I ate it by accident as a child. That¡¯s how I found out about most of its properties.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡±

    She gave me a sour look, but I ignored it. I had no reason to care about her feelings or let her weasel her way out of her guilt. There was always the chance that if she still felt guilty about her actions she wouldn¡¯t poison me if she got another opportunity.

    I started to walk away toward the edge of camp, a plan to not completely give into the tribe¡¯s pressure forming in my head. If I stayed on the edge of camp the chance of being the target of the tribe¡¯s disapproval would lessen, and I wouldn¡¯t be giving in completely to the temptation to run away. Some part of me wished they were a crowd of rumormongers trying to get a good look at my trial mark and pull the tale of our time in Flickermark from my lips¡ªI could glare those people down. I didn¡¯t have a habit of accepting their gestures, large and small, of prejudice. Didn¡¯t feel any need to prove myself to them.

    Before I got very far from the tent, Grandmother stepped out in her regular robes, Old Lily just behind her. Grandmother called after me, ¡°Gimley? The festival not to your liking?¡±

    However much I wanted to, Grandmother wasn¡¯t a person I could ignore, especially in full view of the tribe. I stopped and turned around. ¡°I wasn¡¯t leaving.¡±

    Grandmother grinned a victor¡¯s smile. ¡°Of course not. You and Prevna are going to be my extra eyes¡ªif someone with a tail gets within three feet of me, you can be sure you¡¯ll be the ones struggling to recite stories.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t even need us!¡± The threat of reciting stories wasn¡¯t that big of one to me¡ªI doubted there were many tales she knew that I hadn¡¯t heard through my training¡ªbut trailing behind her in the middle of camp was the exact opposite of where I wanted to be. And besides, I didn¡¯t remember her ever using wards to help her keep an eye out before¡ªnot that I had paid that close of attention.

    Grandmother¡¯s eyebrows rose. ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear your confidence in my skill, but the fact remains that you and Prevna will be joining me. If you didn¡¯t want the job you should have made yourself scarce like the other wards.¡±

    I huffed out a breath, but reluctantly gave in. Arguing with her was like beating my head against a boulder. Prevna also agreed to the job though I could tell that, like me, she would have preferred to be anywhere else but in my company, headed into the middle of the festivities. Old Lily left us to do her own rounds and enjoy herself now that we were there to keep Grandmother from getting pranked in her stead.

    It was exhausting. Tension hummed through me every time Grandmother turned away from someone or a person stepped too close. The punishment might not be too bad for failing and honestly, a part of me wanted to see Grandmother get tailed, but the thought of being seen even more as a failure¡ªas the person who failed to protect her and ruined her winning streak¡ªweighed on me. I didn¡¯t want to be useless.

    The hours passed quickly as Grandmother went from group to group, checking in and accepting prayers, offering blunt advice or dry sarcasm as the situation called for it. A few people requested stories and she obliged, drawing in a small crowd until the tale was finished. We stopped at several cooking fires for bitter bark cakes and each cook had something special saved just in case she came by. A bowl of perfect snow berries, a steamed lattice root with ground sweet leaf, a cup of reindeer milk. She shared some of each with us, and they were best things I had tasted in a long time. I tried not to show my grudging gratitude too much though, in case she got the wrong idea.

    In the end, Prevna and I stopped two to three people each, and I suspected that was only because Grandmother let them get close enough for us to do so. I noticed multiple other times when she would get a knowing look in her eye and warn the person off with a small twitch of her eyebrows. However, I was proud that I had stopped three to Prevna¡¯s two.

    Old Lily rejoined her sister sometime around midnight and we were released from our impromptu duty. Prevna left¡ªI didn¡¯t bother to ask her where she was going or why, though I did notice her head towards the cook who had made the lattice root dish. I decided I was ready to join the others now.

    It didn¡¯t take me long to find the huntresses. Even though the random people singing, people stomping and clapping to keep the beat while others danced, I could hear the cheers and excitement coming from the river. True to being a water hole tribe, the huntresses had started a swimming competition. Whoever completed two laps of going to the other side of the river and back first won, the winner taking on each new challenger until they lost.

    I stood back, unnoticed by the group as Nole prepared to take on a Pack huntress. While her wound had healed, it wouldn¡¯t surprise me if the scar still pained her, especially swimming multiple rounds in a river nearing the middle of the cold season. From what I could tell she had won several challenges already.

    Fenris stepped up between the competitors and clapped. They dove into the water and Nole came out ahead of the Pack huntress. She tailed Nole¡¯s feet the rest of the race, not even coming close to passing her. I grinned as Nole lifted herself out of the river and the lone huntresses cheered. Rawley gave her a congratulatory slap on her bare shoulder. Then as Nole said something, my mentor seemed too pause before she cast her gaze the area. I felt the moment her eyes fell on me before she turned back to Nole, murmured something, and left the huntresses.

    Rawley smiled when she reached me. ¡°Come to join us?¡±

    I avoided her question with one of my own. ¡°Did you win?¡±

    Her hair was frozen and her festival paint smeared. Rawley chuckled at the question. ¡°A couple rounds, but then Nole beat me out.¡± She gestured to the group. ¡°Come join us. Nole wouldn¡¯t mind more support.¡±

    I let her lead me over to them, though the other huntresses bubbled around us, not wanting to come to near. Fenris made her displeasure at my presence quite clear, but she also couldn¡¯t kick me out like she had tried to back at the Skinning Cave¡ªmy trial mark prevented that. For all the rumors about whether Fellen and I had earned our marks, she was still superstitious enough not to want to risk displeasing the goddess by directly confronting someone with both Her bless and trial marks. So I watched the huntresses race and answered Rawley¡¯s soft questions as she quizzed me on what I noticed about each one.

 Ch. 51: Unexpected Gifts

    I laid back on the ground far enough that the small dung fire Rawley and Nole were using to dry off and warm up that its heat hadn¡¯t melted the snow underneath me into mud. Fellen laid next to me, also facing away from the fire so that she could watch the sky lights with me. She had joined us on the river bank in time to see Fenris pull Rawley into another swimming contest. Surprisingly, it had been a close match, but Rawley still won. Many of the Pack huntresses¡¯ moods had gone sour by then between my presence and repeatedly losing to Rawley and Nole¡ªonly to watch their leader get beat as well. If they had been more creative in their pick of contests the Pack huntresses could have won more often, but as it was they were going up against women who¡¯s whole livelihood was based around succeeding on their own while their unique strength only showed through when they worked together. Nole cited cramping and tired muscles from the cold water and multiple races, diffusing some of the tension that might have snapped if the contests continued, and we left to find the fire we were by now.

    I had only noticed the lights while we sat and tried to drag ourselves through a conversation. With only one truly talkative person in the group, Fellen, keeping the flow of questions, answers, and points made going was difficult work at times. Rawley tended to lapse into silence more often when she didn¡¯t have something to teach, Nole wasn¡¯t one to say something if she didn¡¯t think she had anything important to say, and I had little experience in group conversations and not much of a desire to feel like an idiot by saying the wrong thing. So in the end, I heard way too much about Fellen¡¯s night with her parents and the good, bad, and ugly of the performances they¡¯d seen. By the time I spotted the lights even she was running out of things to comment on.

    We all welcomed the diversion, but Rawley and Nole weren¡¯t keen on laying in the snow after being in the river, and Fellen and I didn¡¯t want to completely separate from them in order to see the lights better. It was an easy solution to lay near by while they continued to dry. At first, we described the lights to them, the changes in color and movement they couldn¡¯t make out in the firelight. The lights were like colorful strands of lakeweed rippling back and forth in the sky, mostly variations of blue and green but sometimes a purple or yellow strand would appear. Then we faded into silence, content to simply watch the display at our mentors urging.

    We laid there as the tribe bustled around us, dancing and singing, until others wondered what we were looking at and word spread throughout the tribe. Everything quieted down. It was an odd experience for a festival dedicated to song and dance, but the sky lights were an uncommon event and everyone seemingly decided they didn¡¯t want to distract from them. It was one thing to see our self-made lights as we danced or sung, and quite another to see them on a grand scale without a care for our existence.

    Fellen turned her face toward me as the last of the lights faded from the night sky. ¡°Are you excited to go to the Seedling Palace?¡±

    I kept my gaze on the stars above. ¡°Yes.¡±

    Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her own eyes narrow. ¡°That was a lie.¡±

    I needed to figure out how she could tell¡ªI knew I hadn¡¯t pressed my lips together that time. Being easy to read wouldn¡¯t serve me well in most situations. And honestly, I wasn¡¯t sure how I felt about the Seedling Palace. Just going there was an important step toward my goal to become one of the goddess¡¯s chosen, but that didn¡¯t negate the fact that I had no true idea what the training there would be like. Uncertainties were never welcome; it was too easy to do the wrong thing, make the wrong choice when they came into play. But I also didn¡¯t have much choice but to deal with them. Ever since my mark crystallized on my skin I was destined to go to the Seedling Palace, where I would succeed or fail, just like every other girl with a blessed mark. We became whisper women or the disgraces who failed, never to be seen or heard from again. Really, the only question that mattered was how high in the ranks we climbed. It wasn¡¯t a matter of being excited or not¡ªit was more akin to taking a narrow path up a mountain with the side of the mountain blocking your view of all but your next step, and a steep drop over a cliff on your other side. What mattered was how disciplined you were to keep going and not lose your footing.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have much of a choice about going.¡±

    ¡°Would you stay with the tribe if you could?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± The response was automatic and truthful, but I could tell it wasn¡¯t the answer she wanted. Hurt radiated off of her as she shifted to stare back up at the sky. I debated letting her stew in it, use the hurt to push her away from me and away from the idea of becoming a Realmwalker. But I took too long to decide on which way I wanted to elaborate on my answer and she moved the conversation forward.

    ¡°Of course not. Why would you want to stay close by the he¡ªyour¡­family¡­¡± She drew in a sharp breath and pressed on. ¡°What would you do if you could do anything else? Be a huntress?¡±

    I hadn¡¯t thought about the missing weight in my hair for a long while, but in that moment I could almost feel my healer¡¯s beads weighing down my hair. If I could be anything else? Even with the stigma that came with it, and the foolish way I had cut the remote possibility out of my life, I knew what I would chose.

    Lone huntress was the next best option. It didn¡¯t have the thrill of correctly mixing a poultice or watching your work hide someone from the goddess¡¯s gaze when by all rights they should have died, but the lessons and skills were interesting. I liked the feeling that I was becoming more aware of my surroundings, that my ability to fend for myself was increasing.

    Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.I rolled over onto my stomach, so that I was almost close enough to whisper in Fellen¡¯s ear. ¡°Do you really want to know?¡±

    She looked at me wide eyed, not expecting the sudden nearness or the edge to my voice. Still, her curiosity got the better of her. ¡°Tell me.¡±

    I reached up and took the still bit of hair in between two fingers, gauging her reaction the whole time. ¡°If I could be anything, I wouldn¡¯t have given up this.¡±

    Fellen shifted back, incredulous. ¡°Why? Nothing good comes from being a healer, you know that.¡±

    Her reaction wasn¡¯t unexpected, but I still felt a sliver of cold slide under my ribs at the derision in her voice. It sat a little too close to the years of judgment and ridicule for being life-ridden. I could understand the fear and thin toleration I had received¡ªno one wanted to risk the goddess¡¯s eye, after all¡ªbut I had also always hated the way the tribe and others willfully acted like half the tribe wouldn¡¯t be dead or disabled if a healer wasn¡¯t there to treat them.

    ¡°Tell that to everyone who¡¯s been to the healer¡¯s tent and still walks because of it.¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± Fellen seemed at a loss for words. ¡°I don¡¯t understand why you would want to go back to that.¡±

    I snorted softly. ¡°I don¡¯t. Not to my childhood¡ªbut the learning? The craft? That¡¯s what made everything else bearable.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    I could tell she didn¡¯t really get it. How could being life-ridden help anything? But she also hadn¡¯t immediately abandoned me or shut me down as soon as I told her. That counted for something. So I rolled back onto my back and pushed the conversation forward.

    ¡°What would you be?¡±

    She gathered herself and thought for a few long moments before replying, ¡°Realmwalker.¡±

    I struggled not to roll my eyes. ¡°Why?¡±

    Fellen shot me a long suffering look. ¡°You know why.¡± She pressed her lips together and then added, ¡°And Realmwalkers don¡¯t have to be afraid of anything anymore. They already faced the worst trials possible.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s always the goddess.¡±

    Her glare burned into my cheek. ¡°Stop being difficult.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not¡ª¡±

    ¡°Gimley?¡± Rawley¡¯s voice cut into our conversation. I twisted so I could see her by the fire and she continued when she saw she had my attention. ¡°I have something for you. Could you come here for a moment?¡±

    I glanced back at Fellen who looked ready to keep arguing before I pushed myself to my feet and went over to the small fire. A part of me had wanted to continue the argument, but the knowledge that would amount to nothing helpful and the obligation to listen to my mentor overwhelmed that petty desire. Nole got up and made her way to Fellen.

    Rawley chucked me gently under the chin when I sat next to her. ¡°Trying to push her away won¡¯t help you now.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡± I cut myself off as I realized the implications of what she said. ¡°You heard?¡±

    She smiled at me and tapped her ear. ¡°Patience. Listening. Preparation. Flexibility. And I didn¡¯t need to hear every word to understand the gist of what was happening.¡± Rawley held up a hand before I could speak. ¡°But I wasn¡¯t lying when I said I had a gift for you. Given what I heard I think it¡¯s time to give it to you.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    Her smile softened and unease started to coil in my gut. ¡°I can¡¯t make it so you can be a healer again. But that doesn¡¯t mean you need to throw away everything you learned.¡±

    She reached into the largest pouch at her side and pulled out another pouch, about half the size. Small leaves had been carved around the lip of the bag and dyed black. Four cords hung from the bag, two to hold the pouch securely to my belt and two to cinch the bag closed. Each was tipped with one of my healer¡¯s beads.

    ¡°What is this?¡±

    Rawley pressed the pouch into my hands. ¡°Gathering plants and other ingredients doesn¡¯t only reside within the healer¡¯s domain. Don¡¯t waste your knowledge.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    This time she interrupted me. ¡°You can organize your supplies with this. Open it.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to, afraid of what I might find, but at the same time there was a compulsion drying out my mouth and demanding that I see what lay inside. I opened it. I found six small compartments stitched inside and each held a small, simple ceramic jar. The pouch had thick lining on the inside made out of wool so that the jars would be less likely to break.

    I couldn¡¯t pull my gaze from the sight. It looked like a tiny version of a healer¡¯s satchel. ¡°Why?¡±

    Rawley chuckled, though the sound was more sad than amused. ¡°You can¡¯t be a healer, but healing isn¡¯t the only thing you can do with your knowledge and plants. Not all huntresses learn the art¡ªand normally it would come later in your apprenticeship if you do learn it¡ªbut we are almost out of time. You learned about poisons, yes? But you were discouraged from actually using them?¡±

    I nodded¡ªthe implications of what she was saying, offering, playing through my mind and stealing my ability to speak. I had to know about poisons to know how to counteract them, to understand the consequences mixing particular ingredients could have, but she had been adamant that we didn¡¯t mess with them. The only time we came close was when we induced nausea to get the sickness out of someone¡¯s belly or miscarriages for those that needed and asked for it.

    ¡°That is because they fall within our domain. We do not go so far as to kill with them and risk the anger of the goddess, but the ability to slow or weaken difficult prey during an important hunt? Incapacitating difficult Picker Bands for a time who don¡¯t learn their lesson? That is what the poison is for. If your interest lies in learning and craft¡­¡± Rawley spread her hands wide, ¡°perhaps healing isn¡¯t your only answer.¡±

    I wanted it. If it meant I could better use the years and years of knowledge I had learned, if it meant I could explore the endless potential hidden away within the plants growing all around me, I wanted it. Nor could I discount the potential usefulness of another skill set¡ªanything could be useful during my training to become a whisper woman. Not to mention that if Prevna poisoned me again, perhaps I would better prepared in the future to do more than merely identify it.

    Rawley lifted my chin so that I had to look at her instead of the bag. ¡°Do you accept?¡±

    I gave her a small smile and gripped the pouch a little tighter. ¡°Please teach me.¡±

    ¡°I will.¡±

 Ch. 52: Moonlit Lake

    Rawley and Fellen dragged me into a group dance around the fire later that night with Nole. It only highlighted Rawley and Nole¡¯s fluid movements while Fellen¡¯s excitement covered for her lack of experience. If she continued to dance every year she would probably reach the huntresses¡¯ abilities. I, on the other hand, was merely adequate even though I refused to admit it. Like my dance with Fellen, I could do the dance steps but they lacked the smoothness and little touches a more skilled dancer would use on instinct to make everything flow together. They tried to cajole me into doing another one, but I opted to sit to the side and let them have their fun.

    Dawn found Rawley and me still by the fire, now burned out. Nole had been called away by Yolay to participate in some other contest the huntresses were having and I had convinced Fellen to go to her pallet once her head started to droop. There wasn¡¯t any reason for her to fall asleep out in the cold. Rawley and I wrapped our cloaks tight around us, though, and finished the second night of the festival together. Mostly we sat in silence, enjoying the company and watching the sky, but after a while we settled into the comforting routine of her fixing my hair and we talked some then. Partially about poisons and what that training would entail, but my mentor didn¡¯t want to elaborate too much about the details before the lessons began. I told her about a bit about my time as a healer¡¯s apprentice, the endless memorization and repetition, brushing over the strain of constantly being in the tent, and she returned the favor by telling me a couple stories about her time in her old tribe.

    I learned that she had been second in command in the Pack in her old tribe, her skill with traps expanding the options the Pack could use on hunts. I sat rapt with attention as Rawley recounted a time when they drove a spotted bear into one of her pits, much like we had done with the boar. Spotted bears might be smaller than the ones I heard that lived to the north and south, but they were vicious and strong. That was the type of hunt that earned a statue.

    Her old tribe was a runner tribe, but one that stayed on foot rather than riding elk. It hadn¡¯t been big enough to support lone huntresses¡ªand while she didn¡¯t directly mention it I could tell the difference in roles had been a strain on her. Her fellow huntresses respected her and her skill, she was able to help lead them well, but the lack of freedom grated on her. That and her willingness to contradict the Pack Leader in front of the others caused tension. It came up in small moments in the bear story and the lack of her own apprentice in her other story about helping the apprentice huntresses train their tracking skills in a grand game of hide and hunt. It wasn¡¯t enough to push her to a new tribe, but I didn¡¯t doubt that it had contributed.

    At dawn we parted ways and the day passed much like the one before. Sleeping until early afternoon, eating and then cleaning up before spending the rest of the time until the evening meal with Fellen and the huntresses. We ate together, hair and festival paint newly done, and then we all separated again. They all left to gather at their family tents¡ªeven Rawley. The third day made no distinction between tribes, so the families that had split between tribes could gather back up in a large, private celebration. That celebration often lasted until until a few hours before dawn when everyone would split again into smaller groups or pairings to see the dawn with friends or a lover.

    I went to the snow tent. As Grandmother¡¯s ward I was technically supposed to spend the familial celebration with her, Old Lily, and the other wards, but I had no stomach for it and I doubted she would waste her time to relax by looking for me. I had always dreaded the third day of the festival. There was no joy in being stuck back in the tent watching the twins be doted upon while I was alternately ignored, shown pity, or criticized. Sometimes I would slip over to the healer¡¯s side of tent just to be out from under her gaze and the cloying forced cheer of the celebration. She had never been good at simply being happy.

    As I huddled in the snow hut, watching the stars through the broken ceiling, I could picture how the night would go. Father would be with them this year. There would be a sense of ease in the tent since I wasn¡¯t there and Father would feel guilty when he realized that was the reason why. But he wouldn¡¯t say anything. Instead he would chant the opening ceremony with everyone else as they sprinkled more pine needles around the tent, a renewal of our promise to be as loyal to the goddess as the Beloved. The twins would dance and eat sweets and be praised. She would never be more than arm¡¯s length away from Father and spend the night lavishing him with an awkward amount of affection between playing with the twins. Once it was time for the celebration to end they would slip off to watch the dawn together and the twins would stay up talking and entertaining each other until they stood just outside the tent as the sun began to lighten the sky.

    If it had been a year without Father, the opening ceremony would still have performed but the tone would have been decidedly more somber. After that there would be no celebration, but instead she would grab a bottle of wine, stomp her way to the healer¡¯s alcoves, and lose herself in the work she hated. Normally the twins would be left behind, but given that I wouldn¡¯t be there to drag along, chances were that next year she would set them to the tedious work of sorting the quality of various ingredients while she complained about everything wrong with being a healer.

    I preferred the quiet of the snow tent. Here I didn¡¯t have to worry about a change of mood or being singled out for attention and what that might bring. Nor did I have to deal with the distinct sense of separation that came with only being nominally part of a group. Here I could sit, remember how fun it had been to make the hut, ignore the spike of fear that rose at the connection that implied, and generally hope that the hours passed quickly.

    They did not.

    It was one thing to lay back and watch the sky with Fellen, talking occasionally while a fire provided some warmth. It was quite another to sit curled up in the dark alone with the knowledge that she and everyone else in the valley were enjoying themselves and I would have to lie about my experience the next day. I couldn¡¯t admit to the loneliness when she inevitably asked, though I would emphasis the soothing peace that came from being alone in the dark.

    To distract myself I closed my eyes and called up the healer¡¯s tent in my mind¡¯s eye. Once I was there I left the tent to step out into the sprawling landscape of plants beyond. I knew each and every one from my training. After that I worked my way through each plant, reviewing their description, effects, what other plants they paired well with or whose mixing could have unpleasant results. It was an old habit, but it was one that passed the time and kept my ability to recall the information sharp. If I was going to learn poisons, reviewing what I knew¡ªeven if it related more to healing¡ªcouldn¡¯t hurt.

    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    By the time my studying finished I only had a couple hours until the family celebrations came to an end. I crawled out of the snow hut and entertained myself by practicing with my sling and doing some of the stretching exercises Rawley had taught me. I also might have attempted to practice my dancing when there was no one out to see me, but I might as well not have wasted the time as no improvement was made.

    After that I made my way to the shallow lake at the base of the mountains. As I walked other people started to appear and meet up at various spots¡ªa certain curve in the river, outside a tent, a cook fire. Couples paired up and wandered away to lay claim to the best secluded spot or place to see the dawn, depending on their priorities. Friend groups also vied for the dawn watching spots or contented themselves with messing around and exchanging gossip about their family gatherings.

    Other people were also picking their spots on the lake¡¯s shore, but it was big enough that we could ignore each other and have some semblance of privacy. However, one person didn¡¯t ignore me. As soon as I sensed someone watching me I turned and found Prevna making her way toward me. I glared at her and then deliberately turned around, so that she couldn¡¯t mistake the fact that I didn¡¯t want her to join me.

    Snow crunched as she got closer only to stop when she stood next to where I sat.

    ¡°Go away.¡±

    ¡°I thought we could watch the dawn together, one horror to another. It¡¯s not like we have anyone else to watch it with.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need anyone to watch it with.¡±

    Prevna took a step to the side and settled down. ¡°Fine. You can watch it on your own there and I¡¯ll watch it by myself right here.¡±

    I glowered at her out of the corner of my eye. ¡°This is my spot.¡±

    She nodded as if she was the wisest person in the world. ¡°Exactly.¡±

    I quelled the strong desire to push her into the snow and shifted my attention back to the lake. Still, I couldn¡¯t stop the question that had burning on my tongue since she started to make her way toward me. ¡°How did you know I would be here?¡±

    Prevna shrugged one shoulder. ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡± Then she waved a hand in the air to take in the surrounding scenery. ¡°But it¡¯s not like you picked the most secluded spot, and when I saw you I thought I might as well watch the dawn with someone¡ªnever mind how difficult you were to talk to the night before.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t tend to enjoy conversation with someone who¡¯s poisoned me. Twice.¡±

    Prevna rolled her eyes. ¡°That¡¯s over and done with.¡±

    I snorted. ¡°Easy for you to say.¡±

    She twisted to face me, suddenly serious. ¡°Your people, or another tribe like it, left me and mine out to starve and freeze, and then you beat us within an inch of our lives when all we¡¯re trying to do is survive. But you don¡¯t hear me whining about that and wasting energy.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re just trying to survive too. If we let the Pickers steal everything they wanted we would be the ones to starve and freeze.¡±

    ¡°You have the numbers and skills to make up the difference.¡±

    I rested my chin in my hand. ¡°I thought whining was a waste of energy.¡±

    Prevna gave that sour look again and muttered a curse, but she didn¡¯t get up and leave like I hoped. So, I went back to pretending she wasn¡¯t there, she kept silent, and things were as good as they were going to get. I refused to leave and find a different spot when I had laid claim to where I was sitting first.

    The lake was beautiful in the moonlight. It looked like the goddess had poured liquid shadow into the shallow depression and then traced a path of silver fire through it that led to the Silver Forest. Some myths spoke of people who followed such paths and then slipped between this realm and that prematurely.

    As the sun began to lighten the sky, I rose and stripped out of my clothes before wading into the lake. Prevna started at the movement, but didn¡¯t try to stop me.

    Instead I got an incredulous question. ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    I waved at the others around the lake who were doing the same. ¡°Lake tribe tradition.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°If you can catch one of the minnows in the lake it¡¯s thought that your tribe will be blessed with plentiful fishing in the year to come.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t look like you¡¯re trying to catch a fish.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±

    Rather than just go hip deep like I normally did, I leaned back to submerge most of my body and head in the water. The cold was aching and sharp, and it forced me to focus on this moment, this experience. I was in a freezing cold lake, shivering and alive and here, and¡­Prevna was coming in after me.

    She stood with her arms crossed over her chest and teeth gritted against the cold. ¡°Your muscles are going lock up if you stay like that.¡±

    I held in a sigh and stood back up. ¡°I know what I¡¯m doing.¡±

    She considered me. ¡°And what¡¯s that? You¡¯re not even swimming.¡±

    ¡°Not deep enough to swim.¡±

    ¡°I know that.¡±

    ¡°Then get to your point.¡±

    Prevna rubbed her forehead. ¡°I just want to know what you¡¯re doing.¡±

    I spread my hands. ¡°Talking to you in a lake, unfortunately.¡±

    This was probably the worst night she could have picked to try to get me to open up. I didn¡¯t care if she didn¡¯t have anyone else to talk to or watch the dawn with; I had no intention of opening myself up the slightest bit to someone I barely knew¡ªor even someone I did know. The night had been too full reminders of the consequences trusting someone could bring. Anxiety and pain when you were near them, loneliness and guilty relaxation when you finally got away.

    Prevna narrowed her eyes at me before she seemed to relax. ¡°I see.¡± She turned around, tossing a parting sentence over her shoulder. ¡°We¡¯ll talk later when you¡¯re not ready to bite off my head because of something that has nothing to do with me.¡±

    I snapped back, ¡°Talk to someone else!¡±

    She made no sign of hearing me as she dried off with her cloak and dressed. I stayed in the water a while longer, letting my anger seep away with the cold, before I also waded out of the lake and dressed. As I started to walk back to Grandmother¡¯s tent I noticed someone dancing near the river. Soon after I started watching them, the blue-green light following their movements faded even as they continued dancing. A few moves after that they noticed the change and stopped.

    The Heartsong Festival was over.

 Ch. 53: The Rules of Poison Craft

    Rawley brought me to an outcropping of rock high up on the western side of the mountains the day after the festival ended. It provided a good view of half the valley in the early afternoon light and as she settled down to sit behind me, I was reminded of our first lesson together. However, this time she didn¡¯t ask to fix my hair.

    Instead, interest and command mixed in her tone as she said, ¡°Tell me what you know.¡±

    And I did. The information poured out of me as I was able to talk freely about plants and other ingredients and their uses for the first time in over half a year. I told her about Black Root, the ill effects caused by the mingled scents of ghost petal and ember weed, the nausea and fever from a mixture of feverluck and spiritflower. Rawley listened with quiet patience as I listed out the mixtures and poisons I knew and wasn¡¯t supposed to use, the uncomfortable and terrible effects they could have from an upset stomach to delirium to bleeding sores, and the ingredients I knew could have ill results beyond a certain dosage but hadn¡¯t been taught what those were. The process was made easier as well by the fact that I didn¡¯t have to worry about trying to read Rawley¡¯s reactions from her face; she was simply a solid¡­reassuring presence behind me.

    When I finished, she stayed quiet for several long moments as she got her thoughts in order. When she did speak her voice was more cautious than I expected. ¡°You have more knowledge than I had realized.¡±

    Defensive pride stiffened my own. ¡°I was eager to learn. A couple times I mixed herbs or changed doses during practice to see what would happen¡ªshe didn¡¯t want to waste time telling me. After that she took to explaining every last thing about a plant to me, so that I wouldn¡¯t have a reason to experiment.¡±

    ¡°A smart choice. The huntresses wouldn¡¯t have been kind on you or the healer if they learned you infringed on their domain.¡± A chill slipped down my back at her words. ¡°Have you used this knowledge¡ªin any small way¡ªsince those experiments?¡±

    I was quiet a beat too long as the couple pranks I had played over the past months came to mind. At the time, I had just thought of them as unconventional uses of my knowledge, if not strictly advised. ¡°No.¡±

    Rawley gently flicked me on the back of the head. ¡°Don¡¯t use it again. Not without dire need and this¡ª¡±

    She held her right wrist out and pulled back her sleeve so that my attention was drawn to her mark. It was the first time I was able to truly look at it. She had the huntress mark, a spear head that, in her case, was decorated with a line trap, but it was a shock to see that she also had a crossed out Pack huntress circle around the design. I knew that she had once belonged to a Pack, but to see that stark symbol ruined grounded the finality of that decision¡ªsimilar to the loss of my beads in a way. She also had a smaller spear head on the opposite side of the dot on her wrist as a sign that she had taken on an apprentice. What I think she wanted me to pay attention to, however, was the three leafed plant tucked around the point of her huntress spear head. I didn¡¯t recognize it as any specific plant, but given our discussion it seemed important.

    Rawley pulled her wrist back. ¡°I will give you the three leaves of poison once I think you deserve them. Get caught dabbling in poison craft without them and you can expect to be exiled. No one wants the goddess¡¯s wrath to fall upon the tribe because someone untrained or unfocused thought they were making a draft to temporarily immobilize an opponent and instead stopped their ability to breathe.¡± She let out a long breath. ¡°Poison is a strict and precise craft that encourages perfection. Do you understand why?¡±

    I stared out at where the meeting hall rose up near the river in the valley. ¡°We don¡¯t have the right to heal whatever we break.¡±

    She hummed a noise of approval. ¡°Nor the knowledge in most cases. Given your history, you seem to have a more in depth knowledge of plants and how to apply them to different uses. For huntresses it is different. We don¡¯t have the luxury to experiment, so what we know is uncompromising in its execution and those¡­recipes we learn are passed from one generation to the next. For example, spiritflower. Take five mature blossoms and crush them until they are ground into a mushy pulp. Strike a medium sized beast, such as a boar, with no more than three weapons tipped with the pulp and it will become sluggish and disoriented in less than hour.¡±

    ¡°But what if the boar is hit with more than three spears? Or you¡¯re hunting larger prey?¡±

    ¡°Than the meat could be ruined or the hunt dishonored as the huntresses didn¡¯t use their own strength to make the kill or both. For larger prey a different recipe would apply as we can¡¯t know what to change the dosage of spiritflower to.¡± Rawley rested a hand on my shoulder. ¡°These recipes are what I would teach you. Are you still interested?¡±

    It wasn¡¯t quite what I had hoped, but it was also still the best opportunity I had to work with plants and expand my knowledge. ¡°I am.¡±

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    ¡°Good.¡± She took her hand away. ¡°What do you think the three leaves of the poison symbol stand for?¡±

    I clenched my jaw as I struggled to find the the correct answer. All of the leaves had looked the same and other than her warned the topic of the symbol had barely been brushed on. ¡°The right to use poison.¡±

    Rawley chuckled. ¡°Yes, but individually?¡±

    Any answer was better than none. The different colors of healer¡¯s beads meant the different parts of the body we healed and the plants we used, so perhaps¡­ ¡°The different types of poison you use?¡±

    Her approval warmed my back as she elaborated on my answer. ¡°We use poison to induce three states: slowed, weakened, and immobilized. Each poison you learn will fall into one of these categories¡ªand they are not to be mixed unless a recipe specifically induces more than one state.¡±

    The lesson continued on from there as Rawley picked several of the plants I had named and taught me through pure repetition a few different recipes they could make, a recipe for each type of state. Spiritflower to slow, a large dose of ember weed to weaken, and a large dose of Black Root with two leaves of ghost petal to immobilize.

    Each day I learned the theory of poison craft, but I wasn¡¯t allowed to touch any plants or make the recipes I was learning. Instead, I had to prove over and over and over again that I knew the correct doses and the correct part of the plant to use and how to apply it. Most often that was through a cut on the skin or having the poison imbibed. Some, however, could use smell or touch but those were more dangerous to handle and Rawley refrained from delving too deeply into them so early into my training.

    Nor was my regular training completely put to the side¡ªin fact, it ramped up after the Heartsong Festival. The late morning free time I had to spend with Fellen changed to dual training in games of stealth and tracking as well as tests of quick, strategic decision making. I won more of those games and tests than Fellen, but somewhat irritatingly she made up for it in the early afternoon when we practiced with sling and spear. Her accuracy had passed mine though Rawley assured me that I was still quite good at the sling for how long I had practiced it. The spear was another matter. Like with dancing I was decent at it, but I lacked the knack to intuitively know how to improve, so each point of progress took longer than I liked. We split in late afternoon so that each huntress could focus on teaching her apprentice about her specialty. Fellen and Nole went to the Pebbled Eye and the river to practice spear fishing and diving while Rawley took me all over the valley and mountains to showcase different types of traps and their uses. I learned about trip wires, pit traps, snare traps, deadfall traps, claw traps¡­by the end of it I no longer wondered how they had become her specialty. The sheer variety and her dedication to maximizing the use of each one spoke for itself. After the evening meal we had even more training in the form of endurance tests followed by stretching as we answered our mentors¡¯ questions about various animals and plants.

    I think my impending departure and Fellen¡¯s unwavering dedication to her new goal was what pushed the urgency behind the lessons. Rawley was determined to fit years of training into less than two months and Nole was ill-pressed by Fellen to ramp her training up to a similar pace for the time being. All in all, I liked how busy I was during those weeks and how little I stayed inside a tent. Crest, Keili, and Veris joined in as well during the group training and kept the conversation lively at meal times.

    But the goddess was always keen on reminding her people that easy, enjoyable times were fleeting and to be treasured. A little over a week before the Dark Night celebrations the sentries in the west mountains sent word that they spotted a severe, fast moving storm heading our way. The news spread through the valley like wild fire as everyone knew we could have only a handful of hours before the storm hit. Ghani¡¯s voice could be heard over the growing wind as she directed us and tents were dismantled and lashed to the ground in organized groups¡ªby tribe¡ªon the lee side of the meeting hall and herd holding pen. Herders drove their animals across the river and shallow lake; those that were granted access to the holding pen took their herds there while the rest were guided into the artificial pens made by the lashed tents.

    The Root and Branch clans streamed from the mountains to join the rest of us in the meeting hall, but the Spire clan, as always, kept to the right side of the eastern mountains. Often the bad storms would tire themselves out climbing over the western mountains and then spend what was left of their strength in the valley, so it was safer for them to stay put.

    I huddled with Fellen in the lone huntress area of the meeting hall. We had been in the middle of morning training with the huntresses when the warning came. Crest, Keili, and Veris immediately left to ready their things, but Nole and Rawley¡¯s things were already in the meeting hall, so we went to help some of the older members of the tribe ready for the storm. Once they were safely inside the meeting hall we stayed put as well. Trying to find family or friends in the organized chaos helped little and generally made the confusion worse¡ªthere were instances in the past where someone got stuck outside because they were looking for a family member who was already in the hall and misjudged how fast the storm was approaching. So now it was enforced by the huntresses that entering the hall was the priority and once the thick flaps covering the doorway were tied closed people could search for and gather with their loved ones if they weren¡¯t already together.

    I noticed when Grandmother entered the meeting hall with Old Lily and some of the other wards, but I didn¡¯t go to her. For one, I preferred to stay with Fellen and Rawley and two, it was better to wait until everyone arrived, as Fellen had to do. The meeting hall filled as everyone rushed in, frantic with bits of news about the storm. Finally, the last stragglers came in and the huntresses at the door judged that the flaps couldn¡¯t stay open any longer. A hush fell as everyone watched them cut off entrance into the meeting hall and the whistle of the wind. Gloom truly settled over the space with only the glow stones and a few fires to light it. I wondered how long we would all be stuck in here.

 Ch. 54: Storms Beginning

    I wasn¡¯t able to avoid joining Grandmother indefinitely. There were rituals and prayers to be made, and thus blood to be offered. I left the huntresses¡¯ area when Fellen went to find her family and Rawley admonished me to go where I was needed. As I picked my way through the crowd of people I made sure to stay on the far side of the meeting hall away from the healers. No doubt they were being sequestered away into their alcoves, unable to appear until the storm blew itself out, but I couldn¡¯t be sure that there weren¡¯t still some healers working their way through the crowd.

    The oddity of people noticing my adult clothing and then my trial mark before shifting out of the way wasn¡¯t lost me as I headed toward the platform. Before, with clinking beads to warn of my approach, I would have been willfully ignored so that I had to find my way through narrow gaps or wait for space to open up. Now by simply being recognized as an adult woman I was placed in the upper half of tribal hierarchy¡ªand the mark rose my status even higher as the rumors questioning our competence lost traction. For most tribes, my bless mark would have also given me a higher status but, given that nearly no one knew what it did and my time as a healer¡¯s apprentice was still engraved into the Gabbler Shore Tribe¡¯s memory, it did little for me.

    Grandmother acknowledged me with a glance as I stood near the other wards, but it was Old Lily who bustled around and got us organized on the stage with the wards from other tribes. There wasn¡¯t going to be any grand ceremony, so each group of wards were placed on different sections of the stage. That way the tribes could see that the rituals and appeasement of the goddess were being tended to, but there wasn¡¯t a large commotion that could draw the goddess¡¯s focus more closely upon us. The Grandmothers conferred with each other as we stood waiting and people fussed throughout the hall, searching for loved ones.

    Even with my vantage point, I couldn¡¯t pick out Fellen in the crowd. Either she was behind someone taller than her, in one of the alcoves, or in one of the pockets of gloom between light sources that made it difficult to make out details at a distance. Those spots of shadow would only grow as the glow stones faded once evening arrived; there was no good way to recharge them with a snow storm raging outside. Given that there was no sure way to tell when the storm would end, and the rest of the cold season to consider once it did, fires would be kept to a minimum. The meeting hall might not be a haven of heat and warmth, but even without fires it could keep the worst of the chill away. Between that, body heat, thick clothes and blankets we didn¡¯t need anything else to stay warm. Fires instead acted primarily as tools for cooking and providing light so we didn¡¯t trip over one another and could do more than whisper in the dark. We might see well in dim light, but trying to peer through complete darkness was a fool¡¯s errand.

    There were those that settled into the deeper spots of darkness in the hall and took a few minutes to take solace in self-made shadow there. As there were no tent walls to do the practice behind¡ªand only so many alcoves¡ªeveryone did their best to grant them the privacy they deserved. Not everyone made use of the compromise though as publicly taking solace in self-made shadow still had an undercurrent of vulnerability to it.

    Grandmother walked up the ramp and over to where the other wards and I stood with Old Lily near the front right side of the stage. ¡°We¡¯ll be doing the storm offering this morning and then a variation on the traveler¡¯s offering every evening on rotation until the storm is over.¡± Grandmother¡¯s eyes fixed on me. ¡°Depending on how bad this storm gets, you have offered to take part in more offerings.¡±

    I opened my mouth to refute her statement, but her unyielding gaze shut me up before I even said a word. Old Lily, however, could still speak up even when her sister was asserting the full weight of her authority. She rested her hand on Grandmother¡¯s arm, concern clear on her face. ¡°Only her?¡±

    Grandmother¡¯s smile was grim and tight lipped. ¡°She has proven herself capable of it, sister.¡± She noticed, as I had, that while the others didn¡¯t look enthused about the idea of offering more blood, they also didn¡¯t like that I had been singled out for the job. ¡°If you all want to prove you can participate in more rituals without undermining them by hesitating or collapsing from the blood loss, you¡¯re welcome to speak up now so we can test you.¡±

    No one did and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. Grandmother and I both knew my blessing was the only reason she volunteered me for the added rituals. She wasn¡¯t one to let potential resources go to waste.

    Old Lily accepted her answer though and backed off so that we could do the blood offering. There was no call-and-answer, no reason for her to keep the beat with her rhythm sticks, so instead she hurried off to take care of some other task while Grandmother pulled out her ritual bowl.

    Grandmother faced us as we stood around her in a curved line. ¡°Do you remember the words?¡±

    We all gave our assent; there was little chance of us forgetting one of the ritual prayers even if we hadn¡¯t had to participate in the ceremony before. They were simply one of the things everyone knew and couldn¡¯t quite remember when they had learned it like children¡¯s games.

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    Raya went first at the other end of the line. She held her left wrist over Grandmother¡¯s bowl and spoke the ritual words. ¡°I gift this blood to the Goddess, so that She may know our awe in the face of the storm and that we bow before its strength and glory.¡± She knelt and crossed her wrists over her head in a bow. ¡°May Her gaze turn to one more worthy.¡±

    I followed her lead when it came to my turn as did the other wards. All around on the stage I could hear other groups of wards say the same prayer, over and over, as their Grandmothers conducted the ceremony. Once Grandmother¡¯s bowl was filled with our blood she turned to face the crowd though less than half was watching the familiar proceedings with any marked interest. This was not a ritual they had a role in and there were other tasks to be done.

    Grandmother held the bowl aloft for one long moment before she brought it to her lips and drank. I couldn¡¯t see her face, but I knew her upper lip was coated with blood.

    ¡°Heliquat!¡± Multiple people flinched as she called out the goddess¡¯s name. ¡°This lowly blood speaker drinks this blood in your stead. Do you accept the Gabbler Shore Tribe¡¯s offering?¡±

    One moment, two, and then the blood flaked away into the air. I let out a silent sigh as Grandmother turned back to us.

    ¡°I expect to see you all again after the evening meal for the next ritual. Until then finish the tasks that were assigned to you¡ªonce you¡¯re done with them the time is yours as long as you don¡¯t cause trouble.¡±

    I declined to mention that I hadn¡¯t been given any tasks and hurried away with the other wards. Rather than go to Old Lily or the healers, I could bandage my leg in the safety of the lone huntress¡¯s area. I didn¡¯t get much further than the ramp leading back up to the stage, however, before Prevna interrupted my plan.

    She rose from her squat next to the alcove closest to stage as I drew near and revealed a roll of bandages. I didn¡¯t ask where she got them and she didn¡¯t say, but when she indicated the alcove with her chin and entered it I followed her in. I could have kept going, but curiosity and the desire for my new pants not to be ruined pushed me to follow her lead.

    The alcove was the same one Fellen and I had ate in after the celebration for our marks, but there was no glow stone lighting it up or cushions to rest on now. So, Prevna handed me the bandages and propped the alcove¡¯s covering slightly open so that the light from the stage¡¯s glow stone took the space from complete darkness to a deep gloom. That was all I needed though to make quick, efficient work of bandaging my leg.

    Prevna watched me for a few moments as I worked before she spoke up. ¡°It¡¯s been nearly a month. Are you ready to talk now?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see why you¡¯re so intent on it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re so kind and wonderful I can¡¯t be satisfied until you declare us friends.¡±

    I glared at her and her poor attempt at humor.

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°Look, if you¡¯re that put off by the concept we don¡¯t need to be friends¡ªbut I think it would benefit both of us if we were at least allies. We don¡¯t know what to expect at the Seedling Palace, but two can face a challenge better than one and if we share knowledge we¡¯ll have a better chance of progressing faster.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t deny her points even if I still didn¡¯t truly trust her. ¡°I¡¯m not the only other one with a bless mark.¡±

    A brief smirk curled up the corner of her mouth. ¡°No, but you are the only one being difficult about this. Wren was more than happy to be allies.¡±

    I kept my expression still even as I learned the name of the girl with the bird¡ªI doubted there was a fourth girl in the valley ready to go to the Seedling Palace and the name left little doubt. I couldn¡¯t let Prevna know that her involvement might interest me more than it should for a girl I didn¡¯t know and had only seen once. Still, perhaps I could tolerate a connection with them like I had with Crest¡ªnothing deeper than the exchange of information and mutual benefit. No deep or difficult questions, no traps that threatened to hurt me no matter what I did. If that¡¯s all the connection was than even if they abandoned or betrayed me they wouldn¡¯t be able to truly hurt me as I wouldn¡¯t trust them with the information to do so.

    I finished closing the flap on my pant leg and straightened up. ¡°Allies?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. She said friendship was earned, but being allies couldn¡¯t hurt.¡±

    I tossed what was left of the bandages back to her. ¡°Fine. But don¡¯t press me for information. If I think you should know something I¡¯ll tell you.¡±

    I saw her hold in a sigh. ¡°You¡¯re always so much fun to talk to.¡±

    I snorted and pushed aside the other side of the alcove¡¯s covering as I left. ¡°Get used to it.¡±

    ¡°Meet us back here tomorrow after the midday meal. We¡¯ll go over what we know then.¡±

    I raised a hand to show that I heard, but kept walking.

    The rest of the day passed quickly as everyone settled into their respective areas and gossip and speculation buzzed around the hall about the storm, the herds outside, and herds and herders in the holding pen. Apparently, two families were distraught because they couldn¡¯t find a young couple in the meeting hall and they were hoping beyond hope that they had ended up next door despite the fact that the pair weren¡¯t herders. Losing someone to a snow storm was one of the worst ways for it to happen as there often wasn¡¯t time after being trapped inside to find the body before it became a shamble man¡ªbut if two people were all we lost than the goddess had been lenient no matter the strength of the storm screaming outside.

 Ch. 55: Distractions and Details

    I did my best to ignore the flashes and flickering of small bursts of flame all around the meeting hall as Rawley went over the latest poison recipe. Ever since the glow stones had faded out the evening before they had been going off as people attempted to see better without wasting firewood. You could tell the difference between the Candles and Sparks given that the Sparks¡¯ bursts of flame only stayed lit for a second or three after each snap while the Candles¡¯ lasted between ten and twenty seconds. Irritation ran high throughout the wide room as the continuous sound of snapping and the inconvenience of the repetitive action frayed nerves. Space around the cooking fires was at a premium with people trading goods and favors for a chance to use the relatively consistent lighting.

    Rawley had chosen to follow the Grandmothers¡¯ example though and focused on teaching skills that didn¡¯t require light. The Grandmothers might have an audience of hundreds listening to their stories echo out from the dark stage, but she had important lessons to teach to an audience of one. Much as I would have an audience of two later and decisions to make about how much information to share.

    Rawley reaching out and gently flicked me on the forehead. ¡°Have you grown bored of poison craft in only a few weeks?¡±

    I pulled my focus from the hall and placed it back on her. Shaking my head, I gestured vaguely to the crowd filling up the room behind her. ¡°No, of course not. There¡¯s just¡­I¡¯ll pay better attention now.¡±

    ¡°Hmm.¡± Rawley¡¯s calm but critical gaze raked over me. ¡°Normally, you¡¯re no more likely to be distracted than a dog from a particularly meaty bone.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine. Do you want me to recite the recipe for crumple grass and dew blooms?¡±

    She ignored my attempt to distract her with the poison she had been teaching me. ¡°I think I¡¯ll wait for you to tell me what has you in knots. Otherwise, I fear everything I have to say about crumple moss and dew blooms will go into one ear and out the other.¡±

    I froze, shaken that I could make such a big mistake when it came to plants, before my mind caught up with what she had said and I scowled. ¡°There¡¯s no such thing as crumple moss.¡±

    Rawley chuckled. ¡°No, but your hesitation speaks to how little you were paying attention.¡±

    My scowl transformed into a glower but my mentor sat quietly in front of me, unperturbed. I might not like getting called out or my lack of focus, but she had made her point well and was content to wait until she got her answer. It was clear which of us had the upper hand. Still, I kept my mouth such for as long as I could while I sorted through my options.

    I could keep the blame on the snaps and small licks of fire but the likelihood that she would accept them as the full reason for my distraction was minimal at best. I had kept my focus through the stress of Flickermark¡¯s ravines, after all, and through rapid fire quizzes after long days of exhausting training. Not to mention that she was teaching me poison craft and Rawley knew enough to know that little could shake a childhood of training and lifelong interest of focusing on plants.

    She might accept those small distractions in part if I compounded it with worries about my rapidly approaching future in the Seedling Palace. I couldn¡¯t allude to the¡­loss of her and Fellen, of course, but the sheer number of unknowns mixed with the significance of the change would give anyone pause. I might have some limited knowledge about the sects and the goddess¡¯s chosen and myths and legends passed down for generations, but nothing really filled in the black pit of information that was the Seedling Palace. Rawley could understand being sidetracked by the need and comfort of planning even though there was no substantial one I could institute. Then again, that would probably be when she prompted the importance of flexibility.

    Perhaps if I mixed in my doubt about sharing information with Prevna and Wren? Rawley wanted me to trust more people of course, but she was still a huntress and understood that charging blindly into a situation was rarely the correct answer. It would be foolish to handout all of the little knowledge I had on the first meeting, especially when I had no basis for understanding how they might respond to what my blessing was. There was taking ownership of what my mark did, and then there was being smart about it. I also wasn¡¯t decided on if I should reveal my history as a healer¡¯s apprentice or not. And besides, sharing too much at once could imply a closer connection than was safe.

    Nor did Rawley need to know about the baseless, idiotic nervousness that fluttered in my belly. That was certainly something I refused to acknowledge as it helped nothing and there was no point to it. She was just another girl and I already knew the dangers of caring, the traps and potential devastation of it. We could be allies and work together despite whether she liked me or not. In my head I pictured the moths in my belly and ruthlessly crushed them in one fist. There was a brief moment of respite¡ªthen one of the moths slipped free, unharmed, and kept right on fluttering.

    I ignored the small annoyance and organized the half-truth I would placate Rawley with in my head instead. I was just about to speak when soft footsteps made their way through the gloom toward us; I recognized Crest once she was a short ways away. She settled next to Rawley and set down the three bowls of food she was balancing on the ground between us.

    She glanced between us with a wry smile and slightly raised eyebrows. ¡°Is this part of training? Or did I miss the part where a couple of ice folk slipped in and stole your tongues?¡±

    Rawley brushed her fingers over Crest¡¯s thigh in a discrete gesture of affection as she leaned back to rest some of her weight on that hand. ¡°No children¡¯s tales attacked us this time I fear, though perhaps next time they¡¯ll appear to suit your fancy.¡± Rawley indicated me with a gesture. ¡°I was waiting out my apprentice to see what had her tied in knots today.¡±

    Crest gave me an intrigued look before focusing back on Rawley. ¡°So it¡¯s not training either, then?¡±

    ¡°Not in the traditional sense.¡±

    Crest shrugged one shoulder, dismissing Rawley¡¯s qualification playfully. ¡°Then let¡¯s eat. You know you¡¯ll win in the end eventually, so why not get your answer later when you both have full bellies and the rest of the group aren¡¯t on their way?¡±

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    ¡°You make a fair point.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡± Crest winked at me as she picked up a bowl and placed it in Rawley¡¯s left hand. ¡°Hot food always wins over your cryptic waiting games. Did you hear that the funny stepping sheep might not have been reserved a place in the holding pen?¡±

    I didn¡¯t try to thank her for her blatant interruption and refocusing of Rawley¡¯s attention, I could tell she didn¡¯t expect gratitude or for me to so obviously give away the ploy. Still, I did feel somewhat grateful that she had saved me from trying to blunder through Rawley¡¯s patient, perceptive attention. Even if only for the midday meal. So, instead I picked up my bowl and quietly ate as Keili and Veris joined the group in the middle of a debate about how long they thought the storm would last. Fellen and Nole arrived a handful of minutes after them, and the conversation changed again to complaints and tips for training in the darkened, crowded hall. Huntresses, I learned, were adamant about keeping up daily physical training even when they didn¡¯t have apprentices to teach and there was only enough room to safely do stretches and slow practice routines in place.

    I got up and left for the alcove as soon as I finished eating and Fellen recounted everything she wanted to tell me. I saw Rawley recognize my quick exit, but she merely gave a look that said she would reopen her inquiry at our next lesson and let me go without a word.

    I was the first one to the alcove for the meeting which brought on an unexpected anxiety: should I sit or stand a certain way or in a certain spot for when the other two arrived? Once the alcove covering fell into place there wasn¡¯t really a spot that promoted visibility¡ªeverything was as dark as a cave at midnight. I hovered just inside the alcove for a moment or two before I quelled the desire to fidget and went to stand where I had the day before, near where Fellen had sat when we ate together.

    Prevna arrived first. She stayed near the entrance, holding a shallow bowl full of embers. She jolted a bit when the soft, weak glow cast by them fell on me but she quickly recovered.

    I gestured to the bowl. ¡°I¡¯m surprised you were allowed to take those.¡±

    She met my gaze, nonchalant. ¡°Everyone was too focused on their food or gossip to care much about what I borrowed or not.¡±

    I took care not to show my surprise at her gall and skill to steal the coals in front of all the people crowding around the cooking fires. It was more brazen of a move than I initially thought her capable of. However, I didn¡¯t get to dwell on her theft for long as Wren pushed past the alcove covering a few moments later, the small brown bird resting on her shoulder. She slipped past Prevna and stood opposite of me; confident, easy walk with expressive brown eyes and a quick smile. I clamped down on the urge to give her a small answering smile and kept still as she glanced quickly over me and Prevna in the dim light.

    Wren focused back on me, still smiling. ¡°So you¡¯re the one everyone is talking about. Gimley, right? After that story, I¡¯m glad I wasn¡¯t the one who got lost in Flickermark.¡± She huffed out a laugh and held up a hand to her bird. It hopped onto her fingers. ¡°I¡¯m Wren and this is Chirp. Like my name he¡¯s a wren, and we¡¯ve already heard all the jokes that causes.¡±

    I blinked as I tried to reconcile how sheerly approachable she seemed with my own desire to stay distant. If I wasn¡¯t careful to stay on my guard I could see how easily she could sweep me up into her own pace. Even Prevna had already relaxed somewhat despite our initial prickly interaction.

    Before I could confirm my name Wren had moved on already. ¡°Anyways, we¡¯re sharing information, right? I don¡¯t know much about the Seedling Palace, but I can tell you about my blessing and skills since that¡¯ll be important as allies. As you probably guessed I can talk to birds though I get along best with wrens and other song birds. Other than that my best skills are probably elk riding and navigation¡ªI trained under my tribe¡¯s Navigator.¡±

    She gave away information like it was nothing. There was no hesitation to mentioning what her blessing did or any indication that she knew we were barely allies in name only at this point. Her entire attitude was foreign to me and I couldn¡¯t decide if she was simply thoughtless or confident in her own abilities.

    Regardless, I now knew that she belonged to a runner tribe as they were the only ones to have elk and Navigators¡ªa person who was normally second in command to the tribe leader and whose sole job was to keep the tribe from getting lost and finding resources like fresh water if necessary. Though most tribes did the same run year after year and the huntresses knew a decent amount about navigation for their hunts, so I heard that there were some debates about whether the position was necessary.

    It was also interesting to note that she didn¡¯t seem to react to Prevna other than to note her presence. Most runner tribes had an even stronger distaste for Picker bands than the waterhole tribes because they were more likely to be looted year after year.

    Prevna shared next, and I felt unease start to pool in my stomach as I realized they would expect me to be just as open about my blessing at the very least. She said, ¡°My blessing makes me poison-touched. I can soak up natural poisons from plants and animals and then expel them into a living target. My training wasn¡¯t as formal as yours but I¡¯m good with a sling, wrestling, and tracking. I¡¯m also a fair hand at leather work.¡±

    They both turned expectantly to me, but rather than give them the answer they wanted, I asked, ¡°Do either of you have any insight about the Seedling Palace? Or whisper women? The sects?¡±

    ¡°The band was more concerned about finding shelter and food, and the other bands we met didn¡¯t have a reason to be knowledgeable about all of that either. Whisper women directly serve the goddess and are revered; if you have a blessed mark you get to join them¡ªthat¡¯s all I needed to know,¡± Prevna said.

    Wren shrugged as Chirp fluttered back to her shoulder. ¡°I mean I know that there¡¯s six sects¡ªthe Caretakers and Scales and whatever else¡ªbut I figured we¡¯d learn more about that once we got to the Seedling Palace. The only time I¡¯ve gotten remotely close to a whisper woman was at funerals and when my mother took me to see the procession. Did you learn more when you were at the Grove?¡±

    I stared at them. They were clueless. Allies might be helpful, but not when they were blatantly trying to pull information from me. How could they put no effort into learning more about the whisper women before this? I had been taught by a healer and yet somehow I knew more than them.

    I didn¡¯t want to share what I knew with them, didn¡¯t want to reward what could only be a severe lack of ambition or discipline or both. Prevna¡¯s situation I could understand better, but she still could have asked Grandmother questions once she came to the tribe.

    ¡°If you were so set on learning more at the Seedling Palace I won¡¯t ruin that goal now. Instead, as your ally, I¡¯ll share what you did. I¡¯m well-versed in herb lore and myths, and I¡¯m being trained by a lone huntress as well so I have some skill with sling, spear, tracking, and traps.¡±

    I saw no reason to inform them about the healer skills I could no longer use or the poison craft I was currently learning. I had already listed more skills than both of them combined. It hurt a little to see the disappointment on both their faces at my refusal to share more with them, but Prevna¡¯s annoyance quickly caught up with her which fueled my own.

    She stopped me with a question as I moved to leave. ¡°Aren¡¯t you forgetting one thing?¡±

    Wren elaborated on her question, ¡°What¡¯s your blessing?¡±

    I gave her a tight, small smile. ¡°I¡¯m resilient.¡±

    And then I left despite knowing they probably wanted to talk strategy or get reassurances that we were actually going to be allies. Their skills could be useful in the future, but I also wasn¡¯t in the mood to waste time with people who seemed goalless¡ªno matter how pretty or intriguing they were.

 Ch. 56: Final Lesson

    The storm blew itself out two days later. Men of various tribes were sent to clear away the snow drift that had piled up against the entrance while everyone else bided their time and hoped that the majority of the herds had made it through. When we did make it outside, I saw that most of the snow drifts weren¡¯t nearly as bad though the snow did rise nearly to my waist in some places, even in the valley. It was late evening by the time we broke free of the meeting hall, so rather than soak in the fresh air everyone offered a prayer to the goddess before hurrying to find their things in the makeshift pens. There was little chance of uncovering everyone¡¯s things before night fell, but those that found their stuff and had time to set them up would. Four days wasn¡¯t the longest a storm had kept us in the meeting hall together but is was more than enough time for the itch for privacy to grow. If you didn¡¯t have to spend another night with nearly two thousand people in the same room, why would you?

    Rawley and the other lone huntresses went to help dig out the herders in the holding pen since they didn¡¯t have to worry about unearthing their things. The older children and those of us who had newly become adults were put in charge of the younger children in the meeting hall.

    Fellen and I were quickly besieged by curious children who wanted to know all about our time in Flickermark now that they had easy access to us. Fellen did her best to answer without giving away telling details and I scooped up a child who cried easily, daring everyone around me to disturb him as he fell asleep against my shoulder with a look. No one did.

    Still, even with the clamor around Fellen, it didn¡¯t take me long to spot the other bubble of quiet that the children were avoiding. Kem sat close to Adley, fidgeting while staring over at a group of friends who seemed to be laughing at a joke one of them made. Adley pretended to look prim and proper, like the whole arrangement was her idea.

    A part of me was vindictively gratified to see that they were finally being forced to confront what I had dealt with alone for years. Another was irritated to see how easily the others turned away once the healer¡¯s craft was fully embraced even if I understood why. The more the twins learned, the more life they accumulated and that was a stain not easily forgotten or washed away.

    I could have let them be; I knew they would have preferred it. It wasn¡¯t like we had ever been that close even before I was cast out of the family. But the realization that this was probably the last time I could get close to them without also seeing her before I left pushed me forward.

    I didn¡¯t like the fact that I didn¡¯t entirely know what I wanted to say¡ªthough I knew what I didn¡¯t want. The threats and insults of our last meeting encouraged more of the same kind, but I was tired of letting her win fights she wasn¡¯t even a part of. Nor did I want to commiserate about their current circumstance¡ªthey had never been understanding when I had been in their position and healing could be fulfilling in its own right if they gave it a chance.

    Adley scowled up at me as I stopped in front of them. ¡°Come to gloat?¡±

    I shifted as the child I was holding moved in his sleep and didn¡¯t say anything. Kem had always been a restless sleeper too, though once Adley feel asleep not even a thunderstorm could wake her. Kem glared at me too even as his hand found Adley¡¯s and gripped it hard. He had always needed her strength to be brave.

    ¡°Don¡¯t let her trap you in the tent.¡± The child stirred as I spoke and I quickly rubbed his back so that he fell back into a deeper sleep. The last thing I needed was for him to started crying loudly into my ear.

    Adley scoffed. ¡°As if you care. Besides, just because you couldn¡¯t handle Mother¡¯s teaching methods doesn¡¯t mean we can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°If you think making you sit in that tent day after day has anything to do with healing than you¡¯re more a fool than I thought.¡±

    The insult slipped out before I even had a chance to decide if I wanted to withhold it or not. I gritted my teeth and left them before we had a chance to spit out any more. The twins might be fools salivating after the scraps of a beggar queen but, as I recognized before, letting another full blown argument spark did nothing but serve her and I had no desire to serve her wishes any longer.

    Parents came to collect their children as night fell. I stayed close to Fellen and didn¡¯t look up even when I felt that potent look of disappointment through the crowd. What she thought didn¡¯t matter anymore.

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    The meeting hall was notably less crowded that night. Some people were apparently still attempting to uncover their things despite the numbing night air and cloudy sky obscuring the moonlight while herders were in the thick of counting their herds and catching escaped animals. It might have been easier for them to wait until morning to do the same, but with livelihoods and tribal survival at stake if too many animals were lost they didn¡¯t feel like they had the luxury of sleeping the night away. Huntress search parties would be the ones sent out in the morning once the tribal leaders had more information.

    Which was why I spent the next morning combing the northern part of the valley with Rawley rather than help Old Lily and the other wards set up Grandmother¡¯s tent along with other miscellaneous tasks. We were on the lookout for reindeer, elk, only a handful of sheep, and three people. The couple I heard about had not been in the holding pen and it turned out that a young herder had also been missing from there. Most of the reindeer, elk, and sheep were collected but as that first day wore into two and then three it became clear that the bodies of the three missing people were most likely shambling their way to the nearest Grove.

    No wood was wasted in empty funeral pyres for them nor the funeral story told in procession. All their loved ones received in closure was a new flame mark on their ribs. The failure to find and save them from a twisted fate as shamble men weighed down the valley as the Dark Night celebrations drew close.

    The afternoon before the celebrations were set to begin Rawley brought me back to the outcropping where she first began my poison craft training. Though this time we sat side by side, our feet hanging off the outcropping¡¯s edge.

    She looked over at me and smiled. ¡°Recite the recipes I¡¯ve taught you.¡±

    There were thirty three in all. Eleven for each category of poison. Most had to do with common animals the huntresses hunted, but two of each had been poisons for humans¡ªRawley knew that if I used my new knowledge those would probably come in more handy than the ones for beasts. More exciting, was that four of the last poisons she had taught me could be induced through smell or touch, depending on the recipe. However, all of my knowledge was theoretical. Given the specifics of the recipes and our time constraints Rawley never had me actually make one of poisons and test it. She said that as long as I knew and followed the recipes, should I ever even need to use them, they should work as intended. That didn¡¯t sit well with my years of training as a healer given that I had often be forced to make the same simple recipes over and over again in order to make sure the result were similar even when I knew the recipe by heart. But I told myself I could always practice the poison recipes in the future and that if the recipes had worked well for the huntresses¡¯ for years with little mishap and not constant practice than perhaps they would work the same for me.

    When I finished reciting the last one Rawley leaned back on her hands and took in the white valley before us for a long moment. ¡°Good.¡± She pointed to a stick sticking out of the snow behind us, just out of reach. ¡°Retrieve that stick without moving from your spot.¡±

    I gave her a knowing look, fully recalling one of the first lessons she tried to teach me. Still, instead of asking her for help like she wanted I pulled my sling from around my belt, hooked it around the stick, and managed to pull it close enough that I could grab it. I presented it to her, victorious.

    ¡°Any other lessons?¡±

    She chuckled, a little sad, a little proud. ¡°Stubborn, clever girl.¡± Then Rawley thought for a moment before she continued. ¡°I don¡¯t need to see your skill with sling, spear, or traps again¡ªI¡¯ve seen more than enough over the past weeks. And this snow does little for a game of hide and hunt.¡± She rose her eyebrows at me. ¡°Do you think you are ready?¡±

    Of course she had given another one of those trick questions, the ones that trapped you no matter how you answered. I took my time to answer and I saw her approval out of the corner of my eye as I did so. ¡°I¡¯m sure there¡¯s more that could you teach me and that I could improve on my current skills, but we¡¯re out of time.¡±

    Rawley hummed her agreement. ¡°One final lesson then. Are you ready?¡±

    I nodded, a little wary.

    ¡°It¡¯s simple enough. What¡¯s one thing you never have to doubt?¡±

    I stared at her, uncertain how to answer, but as always some kind of answer was better than none. ¡°The goddess?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps.¡± She looked thoughtful for a moment before gesturing for me to give her my wrist. I did so and she tapped my apprentice mark. ¡°I¡¯ll always be your mentor.¡±

    The grateful warmth that flooded me at her words scared me, but I didn¡¯t pull my wrist away. She deserved more from me than that. We both knew she had done more than most mentors would have even thought to do. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    She smiled, serene and satisfied. ¡°Ready to receive the three leaves of poison?¡±

    I held my wrist higher. ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡±

    Rawley pulled out inking tools from a pouch on her belt and we spent the rest of the short afternoon on the outcropping as she carefully pricked my skin with a bone shard before rubbing the ink in. The air was cold, but the sun was warm and I couldn¡¯t look away as prick by prick she gave plants and their intricacies back to me.

 Ch. 57: Myriad of Myths

    Dawn didn¡¯t come the next day. Instead the morning air found everyone separated, nestled between pine roots or face turned up to catch the breeze on the ridge or cross-legged by the river and lakes listening to the sounds of water and ice. The entire sky was a deep black, though at times, on the edge of my vision, it looked almost blue. It was darker than what the goddess had done at the procession on the Calling Road and there weren¡¯t stars or moonlight to provide relief from the void. Those that could lit their way to their chosen spot with flickers of flame while those of us without the common blessing had to settle with feeling our way through the darkness.

    That was how the Dark Night celebrations began. No grand ceremonies or rituals. Just darkness, solitude, and quiet awe and horror as the goddess effortlessly brought Her land back to the Era of Night for four days.

    I sat curled up between the roots of a large pine, my cloak and a blanket keeping out the worst of the cold though at times I had to use my hands and breath to warm up my nose. Prevna and Wren were somewhere around the trunk of the tree¡ªOld Lily had led Prevna and me here, and another Echo had brought Wren. I assumed they wanted us together so that there was little chance of us getting lost in the dark before they came to get us again. There were also a handful of younger kids among the outer roots that I assumed had bless marks, but I didn¡¯t pay attention to them much like I had when I was younger.

    This was my time to enjoy quiet solitude. Nor did the prospect of craning my head to catch a glimpse of someone I might not have anything to do with before their guide¡¯s flame went out appeal to me.

    So I snuggled deeper into my cloak and blanket, pictured the pine rising higher than the others in the forest, and tried to mediate on how I could uphold the goddess¡¯s strength. I focused on my breathing and did my best to experience the current moment¡ªthe bitter cold drying out my mouth, rustling pine needles over my head, the childish fear that something might leap out at me simply because I couldn¡¯t see past my nose¡ªbut rather than my relationship to the goddess my mind turned to myths and planning.

    There was the main Grislander tale of course, but some thought that the tree pressed against my back used to be a mountain of a man by the name of Welmick. He had thought to challenge the notion that only women were worthy to receive bless marks and become whisper women. His grand plan was to reawaken Grislander and show that he could also bring the dog in submission. He never got the chance. The goddess let him get five steps onto the mountains from the valley before turning him into a tree so that his fingers would forever be prickling needles grasping their last supplication. Others thought another large tree outside the valley was the one from the legend, but I tended to agree with the former. If you looked at this tree in the daylight it was said that sometimes you could see a terrified face in the knots on the trunk.

    The pitch black sky also reminded me of the darkness of the caves in Flickermark which brought to mind the legend of the Crone. Grandmother had been the one to tell the tribe the tale during a quiet evening some years past. No one knew her origins, whether she was mortal or had once been, but all agreed that if you had knowledge to trade and dire need you might find the entrance to her lair in the great forest to the south on a misty night. Inside you would find a great cave system, half natural and half carved with the Crone¡¯s own hands, filled with scrolls and knowledge etched into the walls. Other treasures could also be found strewn into the corners such as slings that would never break and amulets that could locate fresh water or draw game and artifacts from other legends. But nothing could be taken without the Crone¡¯s knowledge, so you had to find her in her underground web, meet her purple gaze and pet burrow snake¡ªabnormally large enough to swallow a reindeer whole¡ªand hope that your tidbit of knowledge was enough payment for what you wanted. Most were turned away empty handed and weren¡¯t ever able to find the entrance again, others ignored the danger and tried to steal only to become the snake¡¯s next meal. Those that were rewarded often kept it a secret so that they didn¡¯t become the target of thieves and opportunists, unless their reward was knowledge that they had to be alive to tell.

    If I had opportunity someday, however slim a chance it was, I wanted to visit those caves. The wealth of knowledge was too intriguing to ignore. Perhaps I could learn more about the goddess or Her Beloved there or more about poisons and plants or a special myth that not many knew.

    Not that the legend could help me with my current lack of knowledge about the Seedling Palace. Now that my departure was a mere four days away that fact loomed large in my mind. I would have to pay attention to everything and learn as much as I could as soon as I arrived. There was little else I could do. Regardless of what I learned my goal remained the same: become a whisper woman and from there work my up to becoming one of the goddess¡¯s chosen. I could use my general knowledge about whisper women and history to bribe Prevna and Wren and other girls who needed it, should I need to work with a group. And at some point I knew we would need to earn and learn the four boons whisper women received: the ability to travel through a tree¡¯s shadow, communicate at a distance using the wind, increased resilience to the elements, and the ability to see in perfect darkness.

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    Most whisper women seemed like they spent anywhere from six to ten years training in the Seedling Palace, but I aimed to be on the early side of that time line. I also wasn¡¯t sure how it was decided which sect you were placed in once you graduated or which one would give me the best chance of becoming one of the chosen, but it was said that the High Priestess was one of the Hundred Eyes, so that could be a good place to start.

    I shivered as a gust of wind blew past and loosened some of the snow resting on the branches above me. Some hit my shoulder while other flecks stung my face. It made me wish for a fire and extra warmth or even a tent to protect against the wind, but experiencing the dark was mandatory for the first morning of the celebrations. No fires, cooking or otherwise, would be allowed until later in the day at the Grandmothers'' discretion. Those that finished their meditation and reflection could return to their tent or the meeting hall, however.

    I continued to ruminate on what was to come as I waited for Old Lily to come collect Prevna and me. It was frustrating how little I could prepare, and unease prickled every time I thought about how soon I would lose everything I had ever known. Once the whisper women took me and the other two at the end of the celebrations there would no longer be anyone who knew my history or that I grown¡­fond of. I would be free of being a ¡®healer¡¯s daughter¡¯ and the thrill of that was both exciting as well as a bit melancholy despite that I could now work with poisons. I¡¯d have to build a new place for myself without the framework of the tribe I had always known surrounding me. I touched a finger to the three dots on my chin; no matter what it cost, I would do it.

    Old Lily came a while later with other Echoes before they split off to collect their charges. She went to Prevna first before coming around the tree¡¯s trunk to me. I was already standing and ready by then, so Old Lily gave me a soft smile as her flame died away before she snapped and re-lit it.

    The trek through the snow to Grandmother¡¯s tent was an isolating one. The glow of Old Lily¡¯s fire as well the other ones in the distance only made the darkness around us seem heavier. We couldn¡¯t even see the mountains rising up around the valley though her flame did help us see closer to what we normally could in the dark.

    The rest of the day passed quietly. There was a balance to strike between honoring the goddess and drawing Her eye. Even once the official time for individual reflection was over most conversations were kept short and soft, and many focused on individual activities that were thought to increase the death within them. Huntresses remembered their best hunts and carved statues by feel while herders went through their herds and marked which animals were ready for slaughter. Grandmother pricked her wrists and forehead before continuing her meditation while Old Lily hit her rhythm sticks together and re-lit her flame at routine intervals. The other wards, Prevna, and I kept ourselves busy with menial tasks as there wasn¡¯t much else we could do in the tent with minimal light.

    Everyone gathered in the meeting hall for the evening meal and it was a relief to see a few stars shine down and the moon rise up as we made our way there. I could see the best then than I had seen all day. We ate a dinner of flat bread, pluckings, and stewed greens as per tradition before the second day¡¯s fasting. Then everyone spread out in front of the meeting hall while Grandmothers and their Echoes made their way on top of it. For once, the other wards and me didn¡¯t have to follow them to offer our blood in a line. That would be a task for everyone this time.

    The moon was a thin crescent, but even that was enough to cast the Grandmothers and Echoes in silvery light as stars filled up the sky around it, like flecks of snow cast on a dark blanket. The Grandmothers stood to the front of the meeting hall while the Echoes lined up behind them. A hand slipped into mine before quickly retreating as a rhythmic beat echoed through the valley. I glanced to the side to see Fellen give me a knowing smile and tucked her hands behind her back before she focused on the spectacle in front of us. I tucked the small pouch she had given me into another at my belt before doing the same.

    The Grandmothers spoke in unison, ¡°Do you honor the goddess?¡±

    We dropped to our knees with the rest of crowd and crossed our wrists over our head. ¡°We honor Her!¡±

    ¡°Do you thank Her for Her bountiful gifts? The fire that burns you and lights your way? The land that nourishes you?¡±

    ¡°We thank Her!¡±

    ¡°The goddess does not accept empty platitudes! How do you thank Her?¡±

    And the chant began, rising in fervor like a storm brewing on the horizon. ¡°Blood. Blood. Blood!¡±

    ¡°Then She shall have blood!¡±

    Prayer needles were pulled free and nearly two thousand people pricked their marks and let droplets of blood fall in the ringing silence left in the absence of the Echoes¡¯ beat. We waited with bated breath before exclaims of relief bubbled through the crowd as the droplets began to flake away.

    The gathering didn¡¯t end there, however. The crowd quieted as one by one the Grandmothers stepped forward to tell tales of the goddess¡¯s feats. One spoke of Grislander and another of Welmick and a third of the beginning of the Era of Night when the goddess overpowered Her sister and swept the whole continent in darkness. Our Grandmother told the tale of the goddess and Her Beloved¡¯s first meeting as it was a favorite of hers. I listened with rapt attention, only occasionally breaking focus to share a look with Fellen. The stories continued long into the night but I refused to miss a single detail due to tiredness. These were important tales to remember. Nor could I ignore the bittersweet feeling, even if I refused to openly acknowledge it, that this was one of the last times I would get to share Fellen¡¯s company. So I gave her a couple small smiles and quietly recited extra details for some of the stories while she wouldn¡¯t let me look at her gift in her presence and had fun trying to guess which story would be told next.

 Ch. 58: Severance

    I stayed outside Grandmother¡¯s tent as the stars and moonlight started to get taken over by the goddess¡¯s unnatural darkness. The others shuffled around inside as they prepared to sleep during the morning, like we had during the Heartsong festival. Not that the exhaustion from staying awake for the past night and day would have let us stay awake much longer even if the cold didn¡¯t sap the strength of the most energetic people.

    I yawned and took a moment to wonder at the dark dawn happening before my eyes. Seeing the goddess¡¯s power had always been an odd comfort; no matter how she had tried to control me the goddess¡¯s feats were a reminder that no one, especially not a healer, could control everything. That, inevitably, someday I would be beyond her grasp.

    Then I pulled out the small pouch Fellen had given me though I didn¡¯t open it right away. First, Rawley with the special pouch and poison making, and now this. How was I supposed to respond? With Rawley it had been simple because we both knew there was no way for me to refuse¡ªnot with what she was offering me and the justification that the training could help me once I reaching the Seedling Palace. But from what I could tell, what Fellen had given me was simply a gift. Nothing more and nothing less. An unintentional trap all of its own.

    I could accept it and let her dig her roots a little deeper into me days before we parted ways for good. A debt that would hang over me in the years that followed with no way to answer it as I had nothing to give her in return. A tie that might us bind closer and encourage her on her foolish mission to become a Realmwalker. I might have become resigned to that idea before, but there was no way I wanted to encourage her to march towards her death.

    Or I could refuse it. Use whatever was inside as the lever to break her from me. Knowingly or not, she had offered up the opportunity by not letting me open the pouch earlier when I wouldn¡¯t have had time to plan. I knew what would hurt her¡ªshe had said it often enough. All it would take would be doing something drastic enough that she would have to respond to it rather then focusing on my sudden change in attitude. Of course, twisting the past couldn¡¯t hurt as well.

    If I was convincing enough Fellen wouldn¡¯t have an reason to take on another of the goddess¡¯s trials. She might hate and curse me, but she would be safe with the tribe where she could find other rivals, other..friends. It would hurt, cutting her from me, but that could be a price I was willing to pay if it meant I didn¡¯t have to hear about some girl killed in one of the goddess¡¯s trials from a rumor after years of fear and worry down the line.

    I couldn¡¯t let her throw her life away chasing after me, not when there was something I could do. Not when I wasn¡¯t worth chasing.

    It would be better.

    It had to be better.

    The only question was: could I be convincing enough?

    I looked inside and my throat tightened while my eyes started to burn, though no tears fell. A hair cord tightly woven out of wool was carefully coiled inside the bag. Each end of the cord had felted shaded pod crawler leaves that hung in graduated sections of varying sizes and colors. In the moonlight they looked white and gray, and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if those were the actual colors. I didn¡¯t doubt that it was meant to replace the beads I had thrown away soon after our first fight.

    And it was wonderfully, terribly perfect.

    I stared at it for a long moment before pulling my braid over my shoulder and replacing the cord that held it together with Fellen¡¯s gift. Her cord looked so fragile there; like a strong breeze might pull some of the leaves free. I could picture her working on it for hours, doing her best to make each leaf identical in shape, but making some small error here or there and not having the time or material to fix every mistake. Her mother would have fussed and been difficult about giving her more wool to work with.

    For another brief moment, I let myself picture walking through the Seedling Palace wearing it, bolstered by a distant friend¡¯s quiet support. Then the daydream transformed into the horror of clutching the cord while Fellen¡¯s body burned in a pyre.

    We had barely made it out before¡ªI would have been dead without my mark. I couldn¡¯t let her take those inane odds again, much less three more times.

    Grandmother¡¯s tent entrance rustled and I turned to look as Old Lily stepped through. She glanced up at the changing sky before smiling patiently at me. ¡°Inspiring, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I nodded, doing my best to pretend that something like panic and resolve weren¡¯t spiraling sickly in my gut. Still, her eyes narrowed and my stomach lurched before she spoke, ¡°That¡¯s a beautiful cord. A parting gift?¡±

    I forced a small smile and lightly touched the cord. ¡°Yes. From a friend.¡±

    Old Lily softened as she nodded. ¡°I see. I put your bedroll closest to the entrance on the right. Will you come sleep soon, child?¡±

    I echoed her. ¡°Soon.¡±

    It was her turn to nod before she disappeared back into the tent. I took in the sight of the cord hanging from my hair a few minutes longer as I waited for Old Lily to fall asleep. Then I walked away from the tent until I thought I wouldn¡¯t wake her or Grandmother with a scraping sound. I pulled my eating knife free along with my small sharpening stone and set to work making the knife¡¯s edge as sharp as I could. Once that was finished all that was left to do was to carefully untie Fellen¡¯s gift from my hair and replace it with my plain leather cord before cutting one of the knuckle sized leaves from the cord. It parted easily. I tucked the felted leaf into the poisoner¡¯s pouch Rawley had given me and then coiled the cord back into the pouch it had been gifted in. Once that was secured away in another pouch on my belt I returned to the tent.

    I was thankful when the exhaustion pulled me under the fog of sleep rather than laying awake gritty eyed and guilty over something I had yet to do.

    - -

    I couldn¡¯t spring my plan right away though sometimes impulse tempted it. I needed a time when we would be alone without Rawley or Grandmother or anyone else to interrupt us. Time for me to hammer home what I wanted her to think. Unfortunately, the Dark Night celebrations had a tendency to be all or nothing, everyone together or everyone separated, and it wasn¡¯t acceptable in the downtime in between to scamper off to meet with friends. You were supposed to be focused on the goddess.

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    So the second day¡¯s hour of contemplation mostly passed in a blur of prepping and revising what I was going to say and how I was going to say it before that time blurred into the whisper women recounting why the second day was a day of fasting as well as more myths. They had gathered everyone together in a group and had loosely encircled us so that they could speak from all sides. For once, I could hardly pay attention though I did notice Fellen¡¯s disappointment when she glanced at my hair and saw that her cord wasn¡¯t there.

    The Grandmothers¡¯ history lessons and myths took us until the evening when the stars and moon started to appear again. That¡¯s when we were finally sent out to collect fallen branches and wood from bushes as a symbolic nod to the past when the goddess first allowed our ancestors to use the resources from her land. It would all be gathered together for a large bonfire, the only we would waste resources on during the cold season, and more wood would be added the next evening, but it wouldn¡¯t be lit until the last day.

    But while everyone was sent out to collect fuel for the fire, you didn¡¯t have to keep separate from everyone else. Most people joined up in small family or friend groups to search different areas of the mountains. Fellen and I were part of our usual group with the huntresses. They decided to search at the back of the valley, above the greater waterfall. The forest was thick there, but also time consuming to get to so most left it alone. However, Crest knew a shortcut, so what could have taken half the night to get to after we crossed the valley instead took around two or three hours up a steep and narrow trail. It felt like I was climbing tree roots more of the time than actual hiking up a path.

    Once we reached our destination we took several minutes to marvel at the waterfall that gushed out of the cliff below us and was slowly freezing over. The river and lakes were also on their way to becoming completely frozen, though the herders worked together to break up the ice on the shallow lake so that the herds could still drink.

    Then everyone spread out to gather the various windblown, broken branches and twigs scattered across the ground and in the trees. I stayed close to Fellen and kept quiet until we had slowly worked our way out of the eyesight of the group and away from the waterfall. I thought that the noise of the water would keep them from easily overhearing us, but I also didn¡¯t want to have to shout over it.

    ¡°I saw your gift.¡±

    Fellen stilled where she was crouched a handful of feet away, trying to pull a stubborn branch from the snow.

    I continued before she had the chance to say anything, ¡°I would have thought that with all that time you spent with your mother you would have done better work.¡± Bile churned in my stomach as I tried to casually toss out the harsh words and I saw her tense. If she had been anyone else it would have been so easy. But she wasn¡¯t and that was why I had to keep going--I had to protect her. ¡°You really thought the best way to get me to remember you was a bit of string and rags?¡±

    She turned towards me, face wet and blotchy with angry tears, hands curled into fists. ¡°Take that back.¡±

    I continued on as if I hadn¡¯t heard her. ¡°Not that I would remember you. Like you said, how can you compete with someone who¡¯s going to become a whisper woman? What stupid reason could I have to keep pretending to be rivals with someone slow and clingy like you then?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re lying,¡± she hissed.

    I forced myself to smirk. ¡°Am I? Or are those little tells I let you see just another game I used to pass the time?¡±

    Fellen settled into her stubborn side. ¡°I know better than that. We survived Flickermark together.¡±

    ¡°More like I kept you from dying.¡±

    She was seething now. ¡°Stop lying.¡±

    I pulled out the beautiful hair cord she had made and dangled it from my fingers like it was a worm before I also pulled my eating knife free. I saw her put together what I was about to do as she kept glancing from the knife to the cord, the cord to the knife.

    ¡°Gimley! Don¡¯t! Please.¡±

    The awful sound of her pleading desperation nearly undid me; I hadn¡¯t ever wanted to witness her brought so low¡ªand yet I was one to do it. In a cruel way, it made sense. Like we had come full circle from when she first turned her back on me and I poisoned her food, only I was the instigator this time.

    The knowledge of the leaf I had cut preemptively, safe and sound in the poisoner¡¯s pouch, was what allowed me to keep going. I started with the leaves on one end, dismissive and contemptuous. ¡°Why should I care what you want? This handful of rags is nothing and you¡¯re nothing.¡± I finished with the leaves and started cutting the cord into useless bits. ¡°I¡¯m going to leave and become one of the goddess¡¯s chosen and you¡¯ll just be a little girl with nothing you¡¯ve earned for yourself and idiotic dreams of grandeur.¡±

    Fellen stared at all the little pieces of her hard work littering the snow. Her voice was a whisper, ¡°You destroyed it.¡±

    I was committed to the act at this point. ¡°What else should I have done with trash?¡±

    She took a couple stumbling steps forward and picked up a felt leaf that had fluttered towards her after I cut it. ¡°You destroyed it.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. So maybe you should stay with the tribe rather than chasing after someone who doesn¡¯t want you.¡±

    The hazy shock went out of her expression then and she glared up at me. I couldn¡¯t help but flinch back¡ªthere was disappointment mixed in with her rigid, hot fury.

    Her voice grew as she advanced on me. ¡°How dare you. You pride-blinded, self-important fool! This about me becoming a Realmwalker again, isn¡¯t it? Isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t form an answer. She might have been two years younger and slightly shorter than me but her anger was a thing to behold. Fellen didn¡¯t shove me like I thought she would, instead she got up in my face and made it so I had no choice but to meet her eyes or shrink back.

    I refused to shrink back. But that was as far as I got. In my plans she ran away crying, perhaps after a bit of angry blustering¡ªshe didn¡¯t confront me and take over the conversation.

    She raged on, ¡°Not everything is about you! Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, I also wanted to face the trials for myself? To prove that I could? Sure, I might have stupidly also wanted to keep being worthy of being your friend, but did you ever even consider that might not be the whole of it?¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡±

    ¡°Did you ever even consider that I could do something like that myself?¡±

    And, again, I couldn¡¯t answer, but she saw the doubt on my face all the same. Fellen quieted again, and I felt the distance yawn between us. I should have been happy, it was what I had wanted, but instead my heart was as shredded as her gift.

    She drew back and her stance, her expression¡ªeverything expressed a mess of broken trust. ¡°You never understood. I knew you were worried but¡­I thought¡ªI can¡¯t believe you think I have to protected and coddled! After everything!¡± Fellen huffed out a breath. ¡°I guess I was the foolish one for thinking you could ever think well of anyone but yourself.¡± She glanced up at the lock of hair my healer¡¯s beads had hung from and the moment stretched before she moved on from making the connection and insult we both knew she could have made. ¡°Well, guess what? I¡¯m still going.¡±

    Fellen knocked her shoulder into mine as she pushed past. I stayed standing purely on reflex; everything felt hollow and distant like it had after I had been rejected the second time in the ravines. I heard her stop a few feet behind me, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to turn around.

    She sighed and then spoke one last time, thick with sadness, ¡°Be better.¡±

 Ch. 59: Into the Dark

    I had failed.

    I had tried to be clever and failed; all I had managed, all I had ever managed, was to get abandoned again. And that was what I had wanted, wasn¡¯t it? Fellen was better off without me, and things were easier without constantly monitoring a relationship tally¡ªbut I had failed, because now she was still going to get herself killed and I didn¡¯t have the solace of knowing she would be safe.

    I fumbled as I went to slide my eating knife away, nearly nicking a finger. Clenching my jaw, I forced myself to focus on the action so that I wouldn¡¯t mess up again, even though I had slipped my knife away so many times before that the action should have been thoughtless. The knife went into its sheath and my gaze caught on a bit of cord lying near my feet.

    Sinking to my knees, I picked it up. A large gray felt leaf caught my attention next and I picked it up too. Then I was feverishly, frantically gathering up every bit of cord and leaf I could find. Never mind the dark and the snow and the bile building up in the back of my throat. I had to gather them all, because if my gambit hadn¡¯t worked then wrenching another hole in my chest by leaving them in the snow wasn¡¯t worth it.

    The hair cord had been a beautiful, if relatively simple, piece of craftsmanship; now it really was what I had unfairly called it: bits of string and rags. Still, I clutched at them, like a drowning swimmer to a bit of driftwood that was already sinking from their weight. I knew I didn¡¯t have the knowledge or skill to repair the cord, just like I didn¡¯t have time to repair the damage I done to Fellen even if I thought trying to win back her trust would do any good.

    She finally hated me.

    I was free.

    But I hadn¡¯t thought that Fellen¡¯s absence¡ªthe knowledge she wouldn¡¯t try to cling to my side like a burr anymore¡ªwould hurt without even a smidgen of relief. I had been trying to protect her, but the end result didn¡¯t allow for any relief from that quarter just as it threw in my face the absolute lack of control I had. Fellen had taken control of the conversation and said the final word while I had given into fear and lost control and ruined the last couple days I had with her. I wasn¡¯t even controlling my reaction right now.

    I looked down at the pile of scraps on my lap and it was like looking into her favorite look of disappointment¡ªlips pressed together, chin slightly raised, eyes looking down her nose.

    I flung the leaves and bits of cord away from me. Still, the sense that I was a coward too afraid to make use of all resources around me stayed close at hand¡ªthough I doubted she meant for me to make and keep friends when she had pressed that lesson into me. Rather, she probably would have wanted me to do what I had done, as the one lesson she had never said but taught over and over again was that self-preservation was paramount to all else.

    That realization, all on its own, was sickening. I dry heaved into one hand as I clasped my middle with the other arm. I was independent, wearing adult clothing¡­alone. She wasn¡¯t supposed to have that kind of influence over me anymore.

    And yet, I couldn¡¯t deny the kernel of truth in her lesson. Who else was I going to look after but myself? It wasn¡¯t like anyone else was going to. I just had to focus on my goals and hope that Fellen¡ª

    Snow crunched softly behind me. It sounded like someone walking. I took my hands away from my face and stomach, straightened my spine, and twisted to look into the forested shadows behind me. Rawley appeared first as a silhouette and then as a person with too much sorrow and concern laid bare through her expression, her posture, her focus. My mind stuttered to a stop upon spotting her; once again caught off guard by her presence and emotion.

    Rawley took in the scene quickly¡ªme kneeling in the snow with the ruined hair cord scattered in front of me¡ªbefore crouching by my side, facing me. ¡°What happened?¡±

    I refused to make eye contact with her. ¡°I was trying to protect her.¡±

    Rawley shifted and I didn¡¯t need to look at her to know that disbelief had been added to her expression. ¡°She was crying, Gimley.¡±

    My nails dug into my knees. ¡°She¡¯ll deal with worse when she goes to die in one of the goddess¡¯s trials.¡±

    ¡°Ah.¡± Rawley settled down next to me, careful not to disturb any of the cord pieces. ¡°I assume those pieces are from something of hers?¡±

    I held out for three long breaths before I answered her. ¡°They were a gift.¡±

    ¡°So you made her cry and cut up a gift she gave you, all in the name of protecting her?¡±

    I rounded on her. ¡°What else was I supposed to do? I only have a couple more days and she was¡ªis¡ªstill set on becoming a Realmwalker. If she keeps pursuing that she¡¯s going to get herself killed. We barely made it out last time.¡±

    Rawley¡¯s smile was small and sad and understanding, but her voice was firm. ¡°She might.¡±

    I blinked, shocked out of my growing outburst.

    Rawley continued, ¡°Don¡¯t you think she¡¯s smart enough to realize that? And I think we both are smart enough to know that in hurting her you weren¡¯t really protecting her.¡± She let that sink in for a moment before asking one more question. ¡°So why did you do it?¡±

    I swallowed hard, but didn¡¯t answer.

    Rawley shifted again, so that her shoulder pressed against mine. ¡°Another direction then. You pursued the healing craft even when you knew its detriments, didn¡¯t you? Why shouldn¡¯t Fellen be allowed the same opportunity?¡±

    I wanted to say because learning the healing craft didn¡¯t carry the threat of dying but I knew that was a lie. Never mind the herbs that could be mixed badly and have terrible effects, but the time I had spent trapped in the tent had been a different kind of dying. I had experienced more outside tent walls in less than a year than I had ever thought possible previously.

    Unbidden the memory of her trying to cut off my healer¡¯s beads rose. My stomach roiled again as the similarities between our actions glared at me in my mind¡¯s eye. The only difference was that she had failed to destroy, where I had succeeded. She had hissed at me that she was trying to do it for my protection, for my future, as she still held the knife in hand.

    Rawley gently lifted my chin so that I looked at her. ¡°Trust is a different type of strength.¡±

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    I licked my lips and focused on a tree past her shoulder as she pulled the answer I was trying to hide out of me once again. ¡°I¡­wanted to regain control. So that I could protect myself.¡±

    She nodded and let me go. ¡°As long as you realize that. Though if you do find you truly want to protect her in the future, I suggest you ask her what you can do first rather than destroy a gift.¡±

    I flinched as the note of censure in her voice cut deep. ¡°She won¡¯t want to talk to me ever again. Not after what I did.¡±

    Rawley sighed and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. ¡°Perhaps. That¡¯s her choice; after all, this isn¡¯t an instance where we can use a retaliatory punch to make the damage equal and forget. But that also doesn¡¯t mean you can¡¯t try.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s only two days left¡ªand it¡¯s better if she hates me.¡±

    Rawley sounded genuinely incredulous. ¡°Why?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t form the answer into words, so instead I simply gestured to the scattered bits of cord and felt leaves.

    ¡°Ah.¡± She cleared her throat. ¡°Well, perhaps if you do earn her forgiveness in the future it would be best not to betray her trust again.¡±

    I nodded, though I wasn¡¯t sure I could. If I had convinced myself what I was doing was for the best this time, who was to say I wouldn¡¯t do the same thing in the future? Especially, when I still couldn¡¯t deny that I didn¡¯t want Fellen to risk herself in the goddess¡¯s trials.

    ¡°And the time limit?¡±

    Rawley chuckled though the sound had a melancholy edge to it. ¡°Do you die when you go off to the Seedling Palace?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Then there is no time limit, not unless you choose not to seek her out in the future.¡±

    I pressed my lips together in consternation. In my mind, my life had always been split between before and after leaving for the Seedling Palace with no mixing between the two sections but, as my mentor said, that didn¡¯t necessarily have to be the case. Granted, whisper women weren¡¯t known to parade around their old tribes but that didn¡¯t mean I had to cut myself off completely. Especially when Fellen would be making her way to places that were more likely for a whisper woman to frequent. She had said she would continue to train first; I could train as well and keep an ear out for someone attempting the trials. Perhaps I could meet her there and see if time made her more open to let me fix what I had broken. Perhaps I could really protect her then.

    Or, if I learned she was doing better without me, I could leave her in peace.

    ¡°Okay.¡± I started to gather up the pieces of broken cord again.

    Rawley helped me and we soon had them all in hand. I pressed the bunch I had gathered into her hands. ¡°Will you hang onto these for me? Like you did with the beads?¡±

    Her smile brightened. ¡°Of course.¡±

    - -

    The next two days passed by in a blur of quiet contemplation and storytelling. A few ceremonies stood out such as when we all gathered to watch a couple of whisper women appear from a shadow on the third day to add to the pile of wood everyone had collected on the second. I knew it was supposed to be symbolic of the goddess building something even greater with what we had already made with our own hands, but I couldn¡¯t help but marvel at the sheer amount of wood we were going to burn the next day. It was the kind of extravagance only the Dark Night celebrations could command.

    Mostly though, I felt like I was in a bubble of silence and solitude without Fellen dogging me at every step. The few times we saw each other across the crowd she would flinch and quickly turn away. At one point I thought I saw her talking to Prevna, but given the dark and the oddity of it, I couldn¡¯t be sure. I debated trying to talk to her before I left, but I was never able to bring myself to do it. One part of me was convinced I¡¯d manage to make everything even worse while another thought she deserved to live a life that wasn¡¯t entangled with me.

    I said what goodbyes I had the morning of the fourth day. The huntresses had been more on edge with me ever since I hurt Fellen, but they still came to Grandmother¡¯s tent to wish me good hunting. Rawley also kept her goodbye short and sweet.

    She touched her forehead to mine, much like she had after I arrived in Grislander¡¯s Maw, and said, ¡°Good hunting, clever girl. Don¡¯t ever doubt that you¡¯ll make me proud.¡±

    I murmured, ¡°Good hunting,¡± in return and she gave me a private smile before clasping Crest¡¯s hand. Then they left to go secure a good spot in the crowd for the upcoming ceremony.

    After that the only people of note to say goodbye to were Grandmother and Old Lily. I knew better than to expect Fellen or my family.

    Old Lily held out my packed traveler¡¯s pack. ¡°May the goddess know of your deeds to honor Her.¡±

    I took it from her and slung the straps over my shoulders. ¡°May She avert Her gaze from your travels.¡±

    She nodded and gently placed a hand on my arm. I had to force myself not to flinch back. ¡°Be well, child.¡±

    Grandmother was blunt, as always. ¡°Make Her proud.¡± Her eyes narrowed. ¡°If I hear one inkling of your ego getting too big for your britches, I¡¯ll come to the Seedling Palace and cut it down myself.¡±

    I knew better than to back talk in that moment though the desire to do so was on the tip of my tongue. ¡°I will.¡±

    Then Old Lily bustled me off to my spot in the ceremony. I found myself sandwiched between Wren and Prevna, close to the huge, unlit bonfire. They also had their packs on and Chirp hopped on Wren¡¯s shoulder. Murmurs and shuffling came from either side of us, but I couldn¡¯t see much of the crowd other than what the occasional flicker of flame showed. When the sounds of movement came from behind us, I knew the ceremony was about to begin.

    Crack. Crack.

    The Echoes¡¯ rhythm sticks struck. From past years, I knew they were in two lines behind each side of the crowd that lined the path we would walk down. Then the Grandmothers¡¯ voices rose from where they had encircled the fire pit behind us.

    ¡°Do you honor the goddess?¡±

    From the dark the voices of the tribes rose as one as they began to stomp in rhythm with the Echoes. ¡°We honor Her!¡±

    ¡°How do you honor Her?¡±

    ¡°With blood. Blood. Blood!¡±

    ¡°Then She shall have blood!¡±

    Lights flickered behind us and then the bonfire roared to life. I had to blink hard to stop my eyes from watering from the sudden light even though I wasn¡¯t facing it. The fire illuminated the twin columns of tribes people and the Echoes behind them. They continued to stomp and hit their sticks together and despite the fact that the volume was at odds with how the goddess¡¯s procession had been, I couldn¡¯t help but be reminded of it as I had every year since I had seen the goddess for the first time.

    Except now I wasn¡¯t on the sidelines. I was standing on the middle of the path and at the end of it was three whisper women standing in the mountain forest¡¯s shadows. Each was rigid with formality and expectant. The one on the left was thin and tall with blond hair severely pulled back into a sleek tail while the other two looked almost to be twins with identical wavy brown hair and paler skin than the blond whisper woman¡¯s tan.

    Prevna, Wren, and I walked forward and as we did the crowd set off their flickers of flame in a kind of rippling effect. Some danced on the ends of fingertips while others flashed and sparked around our heads and backs. And with every flash of light the shadows at our feet seemed to pool darker.

    Anticipation rose in my chest as we continued forward. I was finally about to take my first concrete step towards becoming a whisper woman.

    My gaze caught on Fellen, standing next to her mother. She looked pained at the sight of me but she made her fire spark to life¡ªI was sure the one that flashed near my hair had to be hers. Rawley and the huntresses were on the other side of the walkway a little ways down. She grinned at the sight of me and their flickers of flame appeared close enough together to give the illusion of a larger fire. I ignored her and the twins and Father when I saw them near the end of the path. They didn¡¯t deserve to steal my final moments in the valley.

    We reached the whisper women and they each held out their right hands. I grasped the hand of the whisper woman in the center without hesitation, eager to reach the Seedling Palace.

    It was the whisper women¡¯s turn to speak in unison. ¡°The goddess accepts your offering!¡±

    My whisper woman winked.

    And then the shadows swallowed me whole.

    ¡ªEnd of Book One¡ª

 Book 2 - Ch. 1: Seedling Palace

    The Seedling Palace denied expectation. I had grown up with myths, had traveled through Flickermark numerous times, had watched the goddess darken the sky without even a gesture during Her procession. I had thought I knew Her work but, in comparison to the Seedling Palace, Flickermark was simply cracks in the ground and night during the day a transient change of lighting.

    Prevna, Wren, and I stood near the whisper women who had brought us to the Seedling Palace in a pool of shadow on a branch of smooth bark, wide enough that it would have taken me at least ten long strides to cross from side to side. The branch was flattened on the top where we stood and a railing of amber sap rose from its edges to a grown adult¡¯s waist level to prevent accidental falls. The shadow we stood in pressed up to the trunk of the tree, which was impossibly wide but also had pathways that wrapped around it and doorways carved into its sides¡ªnone of which connected to where we stood as far as I could tell. Pine needles, oddly deep purple and blue-black, sprouted everywhere from smaller branches; they severely limited how far you could see through the branches and shrouded some areas completely. However, to our right there was an open area where you could peer down into the branch pathways below. They all wove together, clearly not all coming from the same direction or the same tree. From what I knew from the myths, the Seedling Palace was a copse of six trees, impossibly tall and sturdy, that tangled together in the circle. Just like I knew there should be a gigantic lake that had once been mistaken for the edge of ocean close by, but the branches were too thick and the sky too dark to make it out.

    The more I looked, the more that caught my attention. The branch we were on only had a handful of other branches that connected with it, limiting access to areas higher and lower than us. Some places at a glance only looked like they could be accessed through shadow. Nor did all the branches have railings, though the sap did bubble up at places where it looked like the branches had been flattened out into platforms and it seemed almost like coincidence that those bubbles formed buildings with entrances and windows. Some of the buildings were semi-translucent while most of them were opaque¡ªall in varying shades of amber from soft yellow to gleaming orange to reddish brown. From what I could tell around half the buildings had carvings decorating their walls and entrances while the rest were left to showcase their natural, simple beauty.

    I had expected the air to be as cold as it had back in the valley, but despite the fact that it was in the middle of the cold season and we were undoubtedly hundreds of feet in the air, the temperature felt like a cool warm season day. It wasn¡¯t even enough to make me shiver. To add to the oddity, vines of ice wrapped around the tree trunk and branches, draped across them, without melting. Not to mention that everything was being lit up by giant pine cones with embers of fire shining out from beneath their shells, but the pine cones didn¡¯t burn to ash. In fact, the pine cones and needles and branches might well as have been stone for all the damage the fire did.

    I was breathing in the earthy, clean air¡ªit sometimes had a hint of salt but there was too much to pay attention to more than make a mental note of the oddity¡ªwhen the whisper woman who had taken me through the shadows spoke.

    ¡°Come.¡± She beckoned us forward.

    The blond whisper woman flicked her hair over her shoulder and followed half a step behind with the brown haired one who could have been the leader¡¯s twin. We followed in their wake as they led us around a gentle curve in the pathway and it was only then that I took time to notice the other arrivals. They might have been my competition, but taking stock of them paled in comparison to a first glimpse of the goddess¡¯s work.

    Some had been on the branch when we had stepped out of the shadow while the rest had arrived while I¡­took in the Seedling Palace. Regardless, there was twelve of us in all. One other group had arrived as a set of three while there was two pairs of two and the last were brought on their own. All looked to be between eleven and fourteen. Wren was the only one with an obvious animal companion and I was one of the shortest. One girl had hair a color I had never seen before. It was orangish-red and fell in soft strands to her waist, held out of her pale, freckled face with three different bone brooches¡ªlike she had stolen a bit of the sunset for her hair. She was on the smaller side as well and her mark swept up the right side of her neck in star shaped dots that gradually got smaller the closer they got to her ear.

    Another girl that caught my attention right away was one of the two that had been brought on her own. She had a body that spoke of doing more push-ups than I had ever cared to count and dark eyes that were restlessly alert, like we might be attacked at any moment. I doubted anything would attack us in the heart of the goddess¡¯s domain, and mess up her twin brown braids and tanned skin, but I didn¡¯t want to miss anything important, so I kept a watchful eye out as well.

    After we rounded the curve in the branch¡ªand I could see past the needles in the way¡ªwe found two wide platforms, one on either side of the branch somewhat off-center to each other, before the pathway continued on and was gently overlapped by another branch perpendicular to it. The overlapping branch had a tunnel carved through it while the right platform held four domes of sap and the left stair-stepped down before ending in an oval stage.

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    A whisper woman stood in the middle of the branch, blocking our way to the left platform and the tunnel. She looked to be middle-aged with wrinkles crinkling around the corners of her yellow eyes and black hair messily pulled back into a bun. Interestingly, though jewelry was rare at the best of times, her left nostril and earlobe were pierced with small bone hoops that looked shaped like a bird¡¯s wing. The hoops were connected by a delicate black leather cord with small teardrop knots regularly tied into its length. The jewelry contrasted well with her warm olive skin tone. She wore the whisper woman¡¯s common gray and black dress that swirled like mist around her and a light weight dark blue robe that fell just past her hips and was held closed by a white belt about four fingers wide with a pattern of gray pine trees. One side of the robe had slipped down off her shoulder and she was bare foot. All in all, she looked like she had just woken from a nap and hurried to get dressed, and I had a sinking feeling that this wouldn¡¯t be the only time we saw her.

    I blinked in surprise, however, when her appearance was immediately contradicted by her cool, commanding voice.

    ¡°You may leave.¡±

    Wool and fur rustled around us as the whisper women who had brought us to the Seedling Palace bobbed their heads in acknowledgment before striding back the way we had come. The whisper woman who had brought me gave me a suppressed grin as she passed. As they left, the whisper woman in charge took us in with a flick of her bright gaze. For some annoying reason it made me want to flinch. I resisted the impulse though I noticed a few of the other girls didn¡¯t, including Wren.

    ¡°You may call me Jin, or mistress, depending on how bad a temper you put me in.¡± Wry humor suffused her voice as she took in the mix of confused, determined, and shocked faces. ¡°Welcome to the Seedling Palace, young ones.¡±

    Irritation flitted through me at the description, given that we had all recently stepped into adulthood and still could not avoid being belittled.

    Jin clasped her hands together. ¡°I am to be your guide and mentor here, at least for the first short while. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to ask me, within reason, and I will provide you with what answer I can. My first bit of advice I will offer freely. If there is one thing you remember from your time here, remember this: a seedling¡¯s growth is its own. It might not be able to pick where it started to sprout, the soil that it grows in or how much water it will receive. But its growth is its own. It might put out roots to make sure it gets the water it needs and grow straight and tall or, despite being wracked by storms and growing crooked, it might continue to persevere. Or it might die.¡±

    The last line came out like a blow without anything to soften the impact. Her gaze was cool and hard as she swept it over all of us before she continued, ¡°We are not here to coddle you. Our training¡ªthe water we provide if you will¡ªcould just as easily give you what you need as drown you. It is up to you to make the call for much you need and can withstand.¡± She opened her arms wide. ¡°Training starts midmorning tomorrow. If you want to partake, your first task will be to find me.¡± Jin gestured to the side. ¡°Housing is to your right; three people to a building. The rest of the time is yours.¡±

    She stepped backward into the shadow made by the overlapping branch and disappeared. We stood there, wide-eyed and shocked for several moments before murmurs began to rise between the girls who seemed to know each other or were outgoing enough simply strike up a conversation. I turned to look at Prevna and Wren, but Wren already had her arm around the redheaded girl in a very over familiar gesture. Prevna glanced back at me, gave an apathetic shrug, and followed the pair as Wren steered the other girl towards the yellowish bubble of sap that was the second one in from the left. Another group of three was already claiming the leftmost red-brown dome for themselves.

    I turned to look at the remaining girls, but as I did so a group of three passed by. Which left me staring awkwardly at the final two. One was the buff girl I had noted earlier while the other was distinctly more willowy in nature. The willowy girl had skin slightly darker than Wren¡¯s acorn skin tone and her black hair was cut super short. That surprised me as most people I had known had let their hair grow and then bundled it out of the why in a plait or bun rather than go through the hassle of regularly cutting it. Her adult clothing was also different from my own whereas most of the other girls¡¯ had been generally similar. She still wore a dress though it clearly wasn¡¯t the undyed, shapeless child¡¯s dress I was used to. Hers was fitted around her bust and waist with teeth clasps with an over and under layer. The under layer was dark brown with carefully stitched green vines covering the thick dress. The over layer left the fabric over her chest and the front of the skirt visible while it covered her arms and the rest of the other layer in deep green. She looked to be about my age and wholly out of place.

    Her lips pursed thoughtfully as she gazed back at me before announcing, ¡°Loclen.¡±

    The other girl rolled her eyes before also stating her name. ¡°It¡¯s Sanii but call me ¡®Nii¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Gimley.¡±

    They nodded and we headed for the last available dome: the rightmost amber colored one. We weren¡¯t really a group, but I liked it better that way. I didn¡¯t need to take on the hazards of another friendship so soon after I had ruined the last one¡ªnot to mention that it would be an unneeded distraction that I couldn¡¯t afford with my training. So we entered the dome and set up our spots quietly independent of one another by the slightly wavering light of a fire pine cone that hung from a hook in the ceiling.

 Book 2 - Ch. 2: Exploration

    It turned out that finding Jin wasn¡¯t our first task. Finding food was¡ªnot that it was that difficult to locate unlike our new mentor. You could smell the food cooking from the housing platform and spy bits of the bulging branch the odd cook fires sat on from there as well. Rather than errant broken branches and brush the cook fires, if they could be called that, looked like oval boulders. Two had completely flat tops while the other two had divots of different sizes dug into the stone. All four gave off hazy waves of heat and there was no mistaking the fire starters moving around them, slipping pots into the divots and flipping cuts of meat on the flat stones with long tongs. All the fire starters there were male, but I saw others moving among the branches¡ªchipping off ice from the vines that melted unnaturally quickly or carrying baskets of supplies¡ªthat weren¡¯t. Each one wore a uniform that consisted of a plain orangish-brown tunic and brown pants.

    The cooking area was one of the first places I found during an afternoon of exploring. All you had to do was climb up onto the bridge¡ªthere were hand and footholds hidden to the right of the tunnel¡ªmade by the overlapping branch and take the right branch at the first major fork. That took me to a spot where the path split into four different branches, but only one really kept going. The far right branch wasn¡¯t very long and formed the cooking area, the next one over was the one that kept going while the other two also terminated early. The leftmost branch dove down and tucked under the branch next to it which was the one that formed the eating area. I ignored the small pile of cushions piled in its center in favor of more exploration.

    When I followed the branch that continued from there, I encountered my first obstacle. A short ways past another fork a fire starter sat on a cushion, carelessly leaning against the sap railing. He was tossing a couple of small pine cones from hand to hand in a weak attempt to juggle. A hooked staff rested next to him along with a simplistic hand bell.

    He stuck out a foot as I attempted to stride past him. Given that he was reproachfully tall and the branch wasn¡¯t that wide, his leg nearly reached all the way across. Not yet willing to commit to idiocy of stepping over him, I glowered instead. The fire starter reluctantly rested his hands in his lap and looked up at me¡ªit seemed his hesitation was more from a desire to continue juggling than any intimidation from me.

    ¡°Password?¡± he drawled.

    I was used to being treated poorly, to being thought of as ill-omened and dangerous, but I had thought that here, at the heart of the goddess¡¯s territory, the usual divisions in proper society would reassert themselves. That I would no longer be at the very bottom of the pecking order. But the young man in front of me was exuding the air that I was wasting his time rather than the other way around.

    I drew myself up. ¡°I am¡ª¡±

    ¡°Not the password,¡± he cut me off. ¡°Come back when you know it and I can let you past.¡±

    I scoffed. ¡°Why should¡ª¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re one of the new Seedlings, right? Just arrived today?¡± He gestured to his staff and bell. ¡°Well, I¡¯m one of the guards assigned to keeping you to the allowed area. Until you know the password, I have the authority here.¡±

    He looked genuinely pleased with his final statement. I tried to step over his leg but he just raised it higher. When I shifted to step through the small gap left in between his foot and the railing he moved too, stretching forward so that his leg touched the other side.

    ¡°Don¡¯t make me use my staff.¡±

    I glared at him for another long moment as my teeth ground together. ¡°Your juggling sucks.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t my best retort, wasn¡¯t even close, but it did the trick at making him irritated as well. Not that that helped me; he still refused to let me past. It galled me to have to listen to the cocky young man, but now that I was in unfamiliar surroundings and recently arrived, I didn¡¯t want to cause an incident before I got my bearings. So instead I committed his insult to memory with a mental promise to return the favor, turned on my heel, and left.

    I met a few other guards after that, but they were all more respectful and attentive than the first. I couldn¡¯t begrudge them for doing their assigned task though the curious part of me was already making plans to try to figure out the passwords or get around them.

    I also found a handful of interesting places that I could go within the boundaries set by the guards. The first was clearly an oval training area; it was at the end of the left side of the fork that led to the four fingered area. Stuffed practice targets stood at one end while locked trunks of varying sizes crowded the other side. Close to the middle, but irritatingly off-center, presumably to give the target practice more room, was a large oval ring sunk down into the floor of the platform and covered in springy grass. After trying my hand to untie several of the complicated knots holding the trunks closed and slinging a few pebbles at the targets I moved on.

    When I crossed to the other side of bridge and took several branching paths I found an area covered in abnormally long, draping needles. In the glow of the pine cone lanterns they almost looked like strands of blue-black and purple hair, too delicate to climb and creepily out of place. The uncanny feeling of the place was increased by a strong scent of lavender even though I couldn¡¯t see any of the flowers around. I searched through them, however, on the off chance Jin was hiding in their depths, but she wasn¡¯t so easily found.

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    Another branch in the area brought me to a platform with several ice vines covering parts of the floor before continuing on. They all had smaller vines that split from the main stalk and fed into an irregularly shaped pool at the platform¡¯s heart. The ice seemed to melt upon touching the pool but when I dipped a hand into the water it was more chill than warm. Still, I had little doubt this was to be our bathing area based on the steps that led into the pool and benches cut into the sides. It¡¯d be odd not bathing in a stream or lake but I welcomed shedding the silly worry that a fish would nibble on my toes.

    Beyond the tunnel under the overlapping branch I found what could only be a latrine despite rising questions about that functioned up in a tree. However, given that I never wanted to be in a position where I had to find out, I put them aside with the presumption that the fire starters took care of it. More interestingly, I also found an area where the branch I was following artificially split into four parallel narrow tracks, all without railings though two had rope strung at waist level. The tracks were only two feet wide at most. They had the feeling of a trial, but when I peered over the edge and saw a wide berth of air and only scant chance of latching onto a branch or lower platform before the height was large enough that you would most definitely break something upon impact, I opted to exhaust my safer areas of exploration first. It reminded me too much of the bridge in Flickermark to not exercise some caution.

    The last area of note that I found that afternoon was at the top of a long winding branch that twisted back on itself and then rose until it peeked out of the outer layer of pine needles. I stood frozen on the branch¡¯s point, barely big enough for two, and took in the surrounding landscape from a height I had only thought mountains capable of. The lights from the Seedling Palace glowed onto the red shore of a lake that curved around the trees¡¯ roots. From the way the lake continued to stretch away into the dark it gave the feeling that I was only glimpsing a small section of something much larger. First Shore Lake. It was said to be full of monsters and enough fish to feed a hundred tribes for a hundred life times. The light from the trees also glimmered on a few streams and a river that emptied out into the lake along with a wide expanse of grassland and forests of much smaller trees. I thought I should be able to make out mountains in the distance from what the myths said, but the night was still pitch black so there was limits to what I could make out. I made a vow, however, to come back soon and see the view in all its glory.

    As I wound my way back to the cooking area I passed by two other Seedlings who had also decided to explore. One was Loclen, who gave me a cursory nod on her way up to the outlook, and the other was a girl from the group that had arrived as a set of three and immediately taken up residence in the leftmost dome in the housing area. She looked to be a little younger than me though she was slightly taller, especially with her brown-blond hair piled up on top of her head. A pearl dangled on her forehead from a thin cord and her clothes were plain but well made. She had one pant leg rolled up to her knee, so that her pale skin was further revealed along with the bless mark that curled around her thin left ankle like a three pronged root. An air of resigned tranquility pervaded the space around her as she leaned gazed down at the branches and platforms below us. I passed her without a sign of acknowledgment and she gave no sign of noticing me, either.

    Back at the four fingered intersection I found Prevna, Wren, and their new redheaded friend enjoying their meal along with the sullen girl¡¯s companions. I observed the two as I gathered flat bread and the nut and vegetable spread that went top of it from the cooks.

    Both of them looked to be on the older side of the group and fit and very comfortable with each other. The one with wavy auburn hair, sharp cheekbones, and cool, light skin was sitting on a cushion with her legs stretched out while the one with straight black hair pulled back into a tail, prominent nose, and medium skin had her head pillowed on the other girl¡¯s lap. They were joking and laughing with each other as they ate, seemingly oblivious to those around them.

    I settled away from everyone else and ate quickly. It didn¡¯t matter that Wren was also drawing out the shy redhead with smiles and bright conversation or that Prevna glanced my way a couple times with an interesting mix of curiosity and annoyance. I didn¡¯t need friends or rivals or anything else and they were better off without me. As long as I kept my focus and studied every scrape of training they provided us until it was permanently planted in my mind and easy to recall I would be fine on my own.

    Even if a part of me wished Fellen was there or wondered what Rawley would observe about the Seedling Palace.

    To distract myself from that lonely, dangerous feeling I gobbled down the last couple bites of food before setting out to explore some more in the hopes of locating Jin. However, rather finding her or anything that could be construed as a clue, all I found were various nooks and pathways. At one frustrating point, I realized that the twisting branches had looped me back to place I had already searched through after spending a decent amount of time ¡°exploring¡± it again. The branching paths reminded me a bit of Flickermark though I didn¡¯t have a map nor could I see the stars through the needles for guidance here. In the end, I was forced back to the amber dome to rest with the taste of disappointment thick on my tongue.

    This first step to becoming a whisper woman was already differing greatly from the plan I had made in my head. I was finally at the spot where I was supposed to prove my worth, show that I deserved the unique blessing placed upon me, and all I had achieved was to get lost.

    Her mantra rose up in my mind as I stared at the hook the pine cone lantern had hung from and wallowed in my negative thoughts.

    Ambition is nothing without discipline.

    A different kind of bile rose up in the back of my throat even as the familiar phrase settled my jangling thoughts and lessened the stress tightening my shoulders. There was still truth in it, no matter everything else she had done. I would accomplish nothing if I left myself run wild with self-pity and frustration. I could¡ªwould¡ªpush through and continue my search the next day and the next until I completed the task given to me, until I did everything I needed to do to become one of the goddess¡¯s few chosen. It didn¡¯t matter if I got lost or had trouble as long as I remained disciplined.

    Tomorrow morning I would get up early, let the other two deal with taking the pine cone lantern from where it hung on the railing outside in order to hang it back up in the dome, and continue my exploration. I would find Jin and continue my training as soon as possible.

    All in all, that was my only option.

 Book 2 - Ch. 3: First Lesson

    No one had found Jin by midmorning the next day. Frustration and worry pervaded the housing platform as half of other seedlings returned to it in order to decide their next plan of action. This wasn¡¯t how we pictured the first step to becoming whisper women going. Some were still determinedly searching the allowed area or had left to eat the midday meal the rest of us were forgoing. Normally, I would have been among those still searching, but I wasn¡¯t keen on wasting energy doing something futile. I hadn¡¯t found anything notable during my early morning exploration or the second, faster sweep after it. I still had yet to go beyond where a path split into narrow, treacherous tracks, but rather than blindly make the crossing I wanted to see if any other girls had any intel about what lay on the other side.

    Which was why I was pretending to survey the platforms I could see from the housing area while eavesdropping. Prevna, Wren, and the redheaded girl were gathered with Loclen and two of the girls from the dome next to ours around a rough map they were making with fallen pine cones, needles, and other miscellaneous items. Loclen seemed somewhat familiar with the girl standing closest to her though their interactions weren¡¯t exactly friendly. They both had similar skin tones though the other girl¡¯s skin seemed to have more of a red undertone compared to Loclen¡¯s cooler undertone. Her curly dark hair was pulled back into a plait that hung down her back except for the strands that escaped to frame her face and wide cheekbones. Despite Loclen¡¯s dismissal of her presence, the girl had a tendency to smile and make broad gestures while talking with her hands. She was well-built and she wore a cream colored top that was more like a long wrap than a tunic though she wore normal looking pants underneath.

    The other new girl was lanky with a rosy complexion and flaxen hair pulled back into a puffy ponytail. Her clothes were the standard tunic and pants, but they seemed to be made of heavier fabric than wool. She was missing her pinky and ring finger on her left hand and a scar ran along the right edge of her jaw. Everything from her expression to her posture proclaimed that she was bored with the current discussion though she didn¡¯t leave or shift the conversation in a new direction. I also noted that her and Wren¡¯s eyes were the only ones that didn¡¯t catch on Prevna¡¯s gray tinged lips at all or give the Picker girl slightly more room than necessary.

    So far their conversation had revolved around the making of the map and complaints about the difficulty of finding our mentor. They had found all the same places I had and a few ideas had been tossed about how to find Jin, but they had been found full of holes and discarded. I shifted slightly as Wren brought up the topic I had been hoping to hear.

    ¡°Well, what about the area beyond those really narrow paths? I haven¡¯t checked there yet.¡±

    The bored girl finally broke into the conversation with a sharp, negating gesture. ¡°She¡¯s not there.¡±

    Several pairs of wide eyes settled on her. The expressive girl next to her asked, ¡°You made it across?¡±

    I saw a thin shoulder shrug dismissively out of the corner of my eye. ¡°I¡¯ve ran across worse.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s voice was mildly surprised. ¡°You ran?¡±

    Another shrug.

    Loclen pressed for more information. ¡°Even if she wasn¡¯t, was there anything else to important to note? Any large platforms?¡±

    ¡°She wasn¡¯t there.¡±

    ¡°Very helpful. Thank you.¡± Annoyance tightened Loclen¡¯s voice into a coiled whip.

    They tried a few more times to get the bored girl to talk but she refused to say more than she already had. So that area of their makeshift map remained conspicuously blank which only made getting across the narrow tracks a higher priority on my short list of to-dos. I could imagine the same was true for most of the girls in the group.

    More ideas were thrown around from hourly sweeps of the platforms to gathering the other girls for their input to debates about what our mentor¡¯s blessing could be. All of which was mostly useless as we didn¡¯t have the numbers or enough information. However, the middle idea gained enough traction to become bothersome.

    As the others were deciding who would approach who, Prevna stepped backwards slightly out of the circle and loudly addressed me. ¡°Gimley, stop pretending to stare at the same patch of needles and join us! I¡¯m sure you have some more insight than us as you completed one of the goddess¡¯s trials.¡±

    I cut a sharp glare in her direction, but the damage was already done¡ªand I could tell by her smug smile it hadn¡¯t been an accident. The others had shifted their focus to stare at me with shock or appraisal with two notable exceptions. Loclen looked like she had her suspicions confirmed and Wren was giving Prevna a narrow look.

    It was enough to put my brief plans to use that information to my benefit and skirt the other seedlings¡¯ attention to the pyre. My internal debate over whether to vocally snub her or just leave was interrupted by Loclen.

    ¡°So that mark on your chin is a trial mark, then?¡±

    I turned to face her fully, plastered a fake smile on my face, and opened my mouth to lie¡ª

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    Prevna cut me off before I got single word out. ¡°It is! All the tribes in the valley couldn¡¯t stop talking about how it sparkled like the night sky when blood touched it.¡±

    Wren added the final flame to the pyre before I could capitalize on the fact that Prevna was only speaking about rumors she¡¯d heard. ¡°Yeah, her and another girl completed Flickermark¡¯s trial on the way to Grislander¡¯s Maw this year. She also knows a lot about whisper women, so she might have a better idea about where to find Jin.¡±

    With that she basically confirmed that this was revenge for my lack of sharing during our meeting before in the alcove of the meeting hall. My teeth ground together as Prevna ruined my ploy and then they both stomped all over my agency. Those had been my things to confirm or share.

    The smiley girl made her way over to me. ¡°That¡¯s so cool! I¡¯m Andhi and that¡¯s Breck and Dera.¡± She gestured to the bored girl first and then the redhead. ¡°I think you know the others, but if you don¡¯t, just ask! I never forget a name.¡±

    The smart thing would have been to go along with her introduction and spout some nonsense that wouldn¡¯t really help them before taking my leave. I knew that. But Fellen¡¯s broken face and a shredded cord flashed in my mind along with the sense that I was seconds away from a trap snapping closed around my ankle. Sour panic and petty, defensive anger fueled an entirely different response.

    ¡°Get touched by a shamble man.¡±

    Andhi stumbled back a step, like I had slapped her and I heard several sharp intakes of breath as I turned on my heel and began to stride away.

    I didn¡¯t get more than a handful of steps before a startled scream cut through the air. It came from behind me, beyond the housing platform and the cooking area. There was only one other notable platform in that direction that we could get to and the scream hadn¡¯t sounded like it came from a full-grown woman.

    I scrambled forward into a run, but Breck and Prevna were irritatingly quick to pass me. Breck got to the hand- and footholds that led up to the top of the bridge first and climbed with surprising speed and ease. Prevna went next but she wasn¡¯t quite as strong of a climber and I had to wait a several moments for her to clear the way before I could climb up. I glanced back when I felt someone else at my heels only to see Wren looking cute and innocent and urgent.

    My teeth ground together as I focused my attention forward again and began to run. If there was ever a less appropriate time for the butterflies trying vainly to flutter in my stomach I couldn¡¯t think of one. I ran faster as I throttled the fluttering nonsense one by one and nearly caught up to Prevna. I didn¡¯t look back again after that.

    We made it to the training area in a chaotic bundle of pounding feet, gasping breath, and internal speculation about what we would find. Most of my suspicions were proven correct.

    The last girl from the dome next to mine stood inside the grass circle, loosely holding a short spear with one hand. I quickly took note of her appearance¡ªwarm beige skin, dark brown hair bound into a bun and matching eyes, sweat stained clothes¡ªbefore following her gaze to where Jin and another whisper woman looked to be sitting in midair.

    More pounding feet stumbled to a stop behind me as I stared. Did one of them have the blessing to float? Or Fly? And they could use it on others? It was a possibility, but the more I looked at them the more my mind rebelled against the notion. It had to do with the way they sat and something about how their robes settled around them.

    Jin leaned back on her hands and her legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles, completely at ease. The other whisper woman sat with perfect posture, her back ramrod straight and her face set in a set in a serious expression. Between that and her sleeked back blond hair and narrow, focused eyes she didn¡¯t seem like the type of person to find most things enjoyable. She looked to be older than Jin by a few years. They murmured quietly to each other, occasionally taking in one of us with a glance.

    We stood there for long minutes, no one quite daring or stupid enough to interrupt them. There was a feeling of waiting permeating the air which only resolved when I heard a final pair of feet pound into the training area before a quiet gasp.

    Jin broke her attention away from the other whisper woman to smile at the latecomer. Then she sat a little straighter and spread her hands to either side. ¡°You found me.¡± A sharp clap. ¡°Thank you for your unceasing effort and uninspired ideas. That was quite a boring way to spend a sleepless night.¡± Jin yawned into a hand before turned to her companion. ¡°I have my work cut out for me with this bunch, don¡¯t I, Yule?¡±

    ¡°Exceptionally.¡±

    Jin turned back to us as she stood and gestured to her side. ¡°Yule was kind of enough to assist me in this assessment. Using her blessing we watched as you all ran around like masterless dogs. Where was teamwork? Where was use of your blessings? Or testing of your senses? My illusions might be strong, but they aren¡¯t unbreakable. Did your tribes do nothing but coddle you before you came here?¡±

    Tension and shame ratcheted up around me with every sentence she spoke. It felt difficult to swallow as she continued dismiss my past without knowing a single thing in the same breath that she declared all of my fears needed to be realized.

    ¡°Who you were before doesn¡¯t matter¡ªonly what you become here: a whisper woman. And while that takes knowing yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, every aspect of your blessing, individual strength isn¡¯t enough. A whisper woman works together her sisters, knows them as she knows herself, and together they create a strength that brings glory to the goddess. Your growth might be your own, but a single tree can be toppled by strong wind¡ªa forest can withstand the fiercest of storms.¡±

    Her dismissive gaze swept over all of us. ¡°You all could be toppled with the faintest breath your strength is so weak. You don¡¯t know yourselves and little effort was truly put forward to know each other. I saw effort without thought, laziness, slow decision-making, narcissism, lack of will.¡±

    Jin dropped the last of her illusion; several girls gasped. The railing in front her disappeared as smaller platform connected with the training area appeared. Benches made of dark sap circled its edge along with a railing of amber sap. A ice vine crawled over the back of the resting area and split into multiple tendrils so that it was with easy reach of all the benches. Jin and Yule sat on a round bench in the middle of the revealed area.

    Jin continued her list of our faults. ¡°Gullibility, cruelty, and lack of communication.¡± Her mouth curled into a mean smile. ¡°I will help you correct these mistakes or you will join those who failed.¡±

    Her threat hung in the air for a long moment as dread pooled in my stomach. And then she yawned again before waving a dismissive hand. ¡°Go. I¡¯m tired. Training will truly begin midmorning tomorrow but, perhaps if you aren¡¯t complete fools, you can begin to correct some of your weakness on your own.¡±

 Book 2 - Ch. 4: Show and Tell

    We meandered slowly back to the housing area in a daze of contrition and a slowly rising fervor of forced friendship. There might not be much we could do before midmorning the next day, but we could at least learn more about the others in our year¡ªI could understand their logic, but a single speech wasn¡¯t enough for me to completely throw aside my reservations.

    I kept to the back of the group, keeping an eye on the others¡¯ dynamics as I tried to work through my options. There wasn¡¯t the slimmest chance that I was going to open myself up to the hazards and traps that came with real friendship, much less the vulnerability of letting anyone know everything about me. Nor was painting on a sickly sweet persona; I had already ruined that option even if I could have kept myself from choking on the words as soon as I started. But perhaps there could be a balance struck, so that I appeared to be giving more than I was. For starters, I could bite my tongue more and perhaps share some of info about whisper women I knew even if they should have already learned it themselves. Then I would be seen as useful without sharing anything about myself.

    And there was something like the deal I had struck with Crest to consider: watch each other¡¯s backs and be polite, but no deep questions or complicated feelings necessary. If it meant advancing toward my goal of becoming one of the goddess¡¯s chosen, it might be worth implementing even though it did increase the opportunity for someone to sneak in and get dangerously close, like Fellen had. I would just have to be vigilant in maintaining the boundaries while acing every other aspect of training, so that I was too useful to get rid of.

    It was also important to note that it was unlikely that all of us would make it through training¡ªas long as I picked who to open up the thin line of connection to well, I could avoid having to open it up to the whole group. I could retain control that way¡ªprotect myself¡ªwhile also disproving Jin¡¯s assumptions about my capabilities.

    Some of the others seemed to be in a similar mindset. The three girls who arrived together were in a tight clump near the front of the group, and the two who had all over each other in the eating area rebuffed any attempt to speak to the younger, sullen girl. Interestingly, they almost seemed liked guards; though, if they were, they had been severely lax in their duties the day before. Breck, the girl missing two fingers, was also keeping to herself on the other side of the group.

    In contrast, Wren and Andhi were drawing the others to them like moths to a flame through sheer charismatic friendliness and approachability though some were pulled in more slowly than others. I had difficulty trusting how much trust they easily put in others and part of me wondered if it hurt to smile as much as they did. Even after the tongue lashing we received, Wren already seemed to bouncing back as she comforted Dera and Andhi was trying to downplay my earlier reaction to her as Ulo and Nii were caught up on the morning¡¯s strategy meeting. Regardless, it didn¡¯t escape my notice that I got more dark looks as the others who hadn¡¯t been there also overheard the story.

    Before that would have been oddly comforting as I decreased my chances of anyone wanting to get too close. Now it was another obstacle that I would have to overcome if I did, unwillingly, take on the absurdity our mentor had strongly advised.

    I understood strength in numbers, but was taking it to such an extreme of knowing those around me intimately really necessary? Rawley had done just fine on her own as a lone huntress. More than fine.

    We stopped on the path just short of the housing area, where Jin had given her introductory speech the day before. When Andhi pushed ahead and blocked our way to make her announcement it felt like the scene was unintentional parody of the first. It was still gloomy in the middle of the stand of trees, but some sunlight did filter through, and she had nothing of our new mentor¡¯s commanding presence.

    ¡°We should at least introduce ourselves and our blessings! Maybe do a demonstration? That would be a step in the right direction for us to get to know each other.¡±

    I had to fight not to roll my eyes, but while she might not have Jin¡¯s presence, Andhi¡¯s words did bring the icy sting of Jin¡¯s rebuke squarely into focus. Were we really so weak that we couldn¡¯t even introduce ourselves to each other? Did we want to maintain the lack of communication she had criticized us for?

    Andhi gestured to the stage area. ¡°We could do it there.¡±

    One by one we filtered past her. I had no desire to reveal the truth of my blessing nor a good way to show not dying, but it couldn¡¯t hurt to see what the others offered. I sat on the last step on the opposite side from Breck while the rest filled in the tiers below us. Andhi took her place at the center of the stage looking a little sheepish.

    ¡°Well, I guess since it was my idea I should go first.¡±

    A chorus of agreement answered her as we all nodded or made noises of approval. Andhi nodded back, drew in a deep breath, and began. For a moment it seemed like all she was doing was concentrating, but then the sunlight reflected off the tips of her fingers before four inch long ice talons erupted from her finger tips on both hands. From what I could tell, the talons covered her fingers up to the first knuckle and she didn¡¯t seem bothered by the cold they must have produced. Andhi looked up at us and grinned, moving her hands so we couldn¡¯t miss the weapons they had become. Someone tossed an errant twig at her and she sliced it into several different pieces in midair.

    Andhi willed the talons away and they melted, dampening her hands and sleeves, but she took it in stride. ¡°I¡¯m Andhi. Who¡¯s next?¡±

    Her gaze fell on Wren who was acting as her co-conspirator in this ordeal of brittle, forced friendship. Wren took her place as Andhi settled onto the tier closest to the stage. I watched as Wren introduced herself and Chirp before they proceeded to do a little routine that seemed very familiar to both of them and geared toward little kids. Still, even I couldn¡¯t stop the idiotic pang of jealousy when Chirp bopped his beak against Wren¡¯s nose despite the fact that I was currently in the middle of planning precautions to stop me from getting that close to her or anyone else.

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    I squashed that pang as quick as it came.

    Chirp was a bird¡ªI refused to fall so low that I could become jealous of an animal. Nor did I have time to waste getting mixed up with a girl.

    Dera was pressured into sharing next by Wren. She fidgeted with her hair for a moment before switching to fumble with a pouch tied to her belt. Interestingly, she pulled several pieces of bone out of the pouch. Then she lifted the hand holding the bone shards, palm up, before hesitating to say her name.

    ¡°D-Dera.¡±

    I leaned forward as the bone shards liquefied and shifted before settling into a finely made spearhead.

    Dera quickly tucked it back into her bone pouch, looking embarrassed. ¡°I¡¯m not too good with details yet.¡±

    Loclen called out, ¡°Can you make other things?¡±

    ¡°As long as I have enough material. H-having more familiarity with the object helps too.¡± Dera glanced around before quickly resuming her seat before anyone else spoke up.

    I eyed her. That would have to be a blessing I kept my eye on. If what she said was true, then its versatility alone could make her a good asset and help her stand out during training. No else immediately got up to fill the stage though there was some nervous shifting. Andhi twisted around before her eye caught on Prevna. ¡°Why don¡¯t you go?¡±

    Prevna shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t feel like poisoning anyone today.¡± I felt her gaze rest on me a moment longer than everyone else as she looked around the group. ¡°It isn¡¯t pleasant. I¡¯m Prevna, by the way.¡±

    Grumbles followed her announcement. Apparently, the idea of Picker¡¯s daughter having a poisoning power was seen as both ironic and unwelcome. I was no stranger to the way her expression shuttered closed as she heard the dissatisfaction around her. It wasn¡¯t quite enough for me to forgive her for outing me earlier, but it did make me want to shut them all up.

    The two guard girls beat me to it. Prominent Nose stood and walked onto the stage with her friend as she smirked. The other girl looked put-upon but she followed Prominent Nose all the same. She raised a hand once they stood apart from each other on the stage. ¡°Ento.¡± She gestured to Prominent Nose. ¡°That¡¯s Idra.¡±

    Idra¡¯s smirk widened. ¡°And we¡¯re going to show you something more impressive than any Picker is capable of.¡±

    I kept my eyes peeled, ready for anything¡ª

    Hands flicked, something glowed, and then sparks flew in between them. Ento and Idra turned back to us. ¡°See?¡±

    Nii scoffed. ¡°See what? All you did was make a few sparks.¡±

    Idra dismissed her as they moved back to sit on either side of the sullen girl. ¡°Not our fault if you¡¯re too weak to see what we did.¡±

    Short bone needles flew just as she sat down; pinning her to the bench by her pants and tunic. A few more millimeters to the side and they would have struck flesh.

    Nii pulled back the hand that had thrown the last needle, still glaring. ¡°Those are results you can see. Don¡¯t brag if you don¡¯t have anything to show for it.¡±

    Idra pulled out a needle rolled her eyes. ¡°You missed.¡±

    Nii¡¯s hand went to her belt where more needles waited to be thrown. ¡°I can hit your eye if you want me to.¡±

    Andhi broke in, not without a little desperation. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±

    Nii spared her a look and let her hand fall away from her belt. ¡°It¡¯s Sanii but you can call me ¡®Nii¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Then again with a little more vigor, ¡°Good!¡± Andhi cast around for someone else to share their blessing. ¡°Who¡¯s next?¡±

    Nii sat down with a muttered insult that I could hear from even where I sat. ¡°Pompous calf.¡±

    Idra tensed, looking ready to start a fight, but the sullen girl placed a hand on her knee. ¡°I¡¯ll share.¡± She held a hand out to Idra. ¡°Needles, please.¡±

    Idra¡¯s muttered curse didn¡¯t reach my ears, but she did pull out the remaining needles and hand them over. The sullen girl returned them to a mildly surprised Nii before taking her place center stage.

    ¡°You may call me Juniper. I can summon fresh water.¡±

    She cupped her hands together and, true to her word, after a moment water began to well up between them until only the water¡¯s surface tension kept it from spilling over her fingers. Juniper took another moment to take in the range of expressions aimed at her¡ªfrom not impressed to wide eyed¡ªbefore nodding and letting the water splash down near her feet.

    However, she didn¡¯t return to her seat after that. Instead she took over the role of event director. ¡°Why don¡¯t you share next?¡±

    Breck returned her stare, still bored and unbothered. ¡°Can¡¯t wrangle what isn¡¯t here.¡±

    ¡°Name?¡±

    ¡°Breck.¡±

    Juniper seemed satisfied with that as she moved on to me. ¡°And you?¡±

    My teeth ground together. I didn¡¯t want to share but given the way things were going I would be the odd one out if I refused which wouldn¡¯t help my standing with our mentor or the group. The others didn¡¯t seem too worried about others knowing what they could do, but they had also probably grown up with their tribe knowing their blessing and none of their blessings were as divisive as mine was bound to be. If I shared the full truth than I would likely be regulated to the outskirts, regardless of my standing beforehand. So, I shared the partial truth I had given before.

    ¡°Gimley. I¡¯m resilient.¡±

    Her eyes narrowed at my vague response. ¡°Can you show us?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    She nodded and moved on, which was how the impromptu meeting came to a quick and orderly end. I learned that the girl who had first spotted Jin was named Ulo. She claimed to be able to breath underwater, but Juniper looked distasteful when she volunteered to prove it by sticking her face in the other girl¡¯s summoned water. Juniper turned her offer down and no one was willing to make the hike to the bathing area to watch her prove her ability there, either. Loclen revealed that she had a shrouding ability that made her invisible in the gloom of the Seedling Palace. I could tell I wasn¡¯t the only one who added her to a mental list of people to pay attention to. After the meeting ended, everyone either split into their housing groups to get to know each other better or retreated to spend time alone. Unable to open myself up to inspection so soon after the meeting, I was one of the few that left to be alone.

 Book 2 - Ch. 5: Unbalanced Beginnings

    I stood in a half crouched position, weight evenly distributed between my feet and arms outstretched at my sides. The rest of the seedlings were in similar positions as we made a cube four people wide and three deep in the grassy ring on the training platform. We were supposed to keep our concentration on a fixed point in front of us, so I had good view Nii¡¯s back and only a vague impression of Wren on the edge of my vision to the right. Loclen¡¯s concentration could be felt behind me, however, and I knew the general positions of the others from when I looked around before Jin started the exercise. She was quizzing and lecturing us as she paced around the lip of the practice area.

    ¡°Break formation and be prepared to run ten laps around the platform. Every successive failure will result in an additional ten laps! Talk back or complain and you will hold the weight of your words in your hands.¡±

    No deadline or mercy. I forced my jaw to unclench and consciously began to breath in long, deep breaths. I would need every edge I could get¡ªdespite long hours of training with Rawley I could already feel the back of my shoulders and thighs start to burn from the unfamiliar position.

    Jin paused in front of our group. ¡°Tell me what little you can of the elite you wish to join. What knowledge has slipped beyond these branches?¡±

    Answers crowded together on the tip of my tongue, begging to be let out promptly because a mentor had asked us a question. I kept them back. Rather than show off the handful of knowledge I knew, it was better to learn what the others girls knew.

    It turned out that a tidbit amount of information was much more common than a handful. It took Wren and Andhi both to remember the names of six sects within the whisper women, much less what they did. Loclen had to chime in for that second part. I simply recalled the simple poem that had been drilled into me as a child.

    Beastwatcher for Her bounty of grass and bone

    Scales to uphold Her word alone

    Peacekeepers to keep the masses steady

    Hundred Eyes always watching and whispers ready

    Caretakers to watch what came before

    Seekers striving to discover more

    Know these six and know them well

    Or you will fail wherein they dwell

    I was under no illusions that she had created the poem, but she was the one who had beat Grandmother¡¯s knowledge into me through repetition and cold obsession. It was one of the first things I could remember tucking into my memory tent, so that it would always be ready in case the question was once again thrown my way. Perhaps I was lucky that Grandmother had chosen to part with some of the knowledge that came with her position, but it was still odd to me that other Grandmothers wouldn¡¯t also take the pragmatic route and share basic knowledge with bless marked girls in their tribes.

    Knowledge of the whisper women¡¯s boons came quicker and easier, no doubt because they were considered more exciting. Idra was the one to announce those. Her voice was clearly suffused with pride and avarice, especially when she touched on walking through shadow and seeing clearly in the dark. Apparently, talking at distance with the winds or becoming resistant to the elements weren¡¯t as inspiring to her.

    There was a beat of silence before Dera timidly offered up the pathetic and universal knowledge that only girls who bore a bless mark could become whisper women, those bless marks gave each of them a unique power, and that they were trained in the Seedling Palace. I rolled my eyes but, surprisingly, Jin thanked her for her contribution before pressing us for more.

    ¡°What can you tell me about the High Priestess? Or rank? Training? Did you bother to listen to the stories of how whisper women came to be? Tales of how to acquire the boons?¡±

    No one spoke though I could feel the tension in the air increase as everyone strove for an answer, tried to decide if they should give voice to the hearsay they heard or keep quiet and keep the specter of failure at bay. My arms and legs felt like they were thick, heavy tree limbs that had been set on fire at this point, but I pushed past the burning pain to finally give my own answer.

    ¡°Lithunia is the current Hight Priestess and thus, the leader of the goddess¡¯s chosen. It is said that she is part of the Hundred Eyes sect, granting them more influence in the Seedling Palace. She has a large swirling mark on her left side and her hands are cold.¡±

    There. Some proof that I had not listlessly waited for my time at the Seedling Palace to come. Perhaps I shouldn¡¯t have added on the fact that the High Priestess¡¯s hands were cold from the way Jin¡¯s eyes had now caught on me, but the way she threw out questions like a challenge baited me into saying more than I should. Kept the need to prove myself alive and well as a constant sour pressure in my throat.

    Jin slipped the fallen half of her robe back onto her shoulder. ¡°And how do you know the temperature of the High Priestess¡¯s hands?¡±

    I wasn¡¯t about to admit that she stopped me from further embarrassing myself when I had been caught in a blind panic during the goddess¡¯s procession. That much I could still keep to myself. Instead, I gave the vaguest outline of what had happened. ¡°She touched my hand during the goddess¡¯s procession.¡±

    Jin¡¯s lips twitched, her robe slipped back down her arm, and I had the feeling that, somehow, from that one vague sentence she knew the entirety of what had happened. I strained to stay on my feet under a wave of embarrassment and distressed muscles. However, Nii¡¯s back and arms hadn¡¯t wavered a single time yet and the annoyance of that gave me the strength to keep going.

    Jin switched her attention back to the group. ¡°What else?¡±

    There was nothing else. I knew three different versions of the tale that proclaimed how the whisper women were formed, but they all had conflicting information. After already sticking my neck out by saying something unnecessary, I wasn¡¯t about to do the same thing again. The tales about how to acquire the boons were similarly conflicted, with only a few consistent versions in each of the stories. Such as the fact that you had to drink shadow to acquire the ability to travel through them, but none of the stories revealed how the whisper women scooped up the shadow to drink it¡ªthe act was always simply stated to have happened. Details of rank and training and how long everything took were still unknown as well, despite how much I would have loved to know them beforehand. The Seedling Palace was skilled at holding onto its mysteries.

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    Jin was about to speak again when a muffled thump came behind me along with a couple of snickers¡ªone was more of a huff of breath than the other. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jin clap as she kept walking around the grassy area. A cry of surprise and a groan of dismay followed before another sharp clap.

    Silence.

    Then Jin spoke again, ¡°It hasn¡¯t been so long that you could have forgotten my warning at the beginning of the lesson. I¡¯ll make those stones bigger again if I have to. Dera, run.¡±

    Someone scrambled to their feet and began to run. I gritted my teeth and decided that my legs would break before I fell.

    Jin tried to press us for more answers during the time it took Dera to run her laps on shaky legs. We didn¡¯t have much else to say. Ulo went over the whisper woman¡¯s role in a funeral, but couldn¡¯t answer when Jin pressed her about which sect that whisper woman would have belonged to. Scales sect was the answer. Juniper¡¯s arm dropped during Ulo¡¯s answer and she was sent to join Dera which fractured the image of control she had presented the night before. No snickers sounded at her failing. Wren recounted seeing the chosen at the goddess¡¯s procession and the whisper women¡¯s role in bringing us to Seedling Palace. I kept quiet about what I had seen at the Grove in Flickermark and though I didn¡¯t doubt that our mentor had marked the dots on my chin, she didn¡¯t press me about my experience.

    Instead, she kept us hovering in that horrible position until both Dera and Juniper were done running. Juniper lapped Dera a couple times, so they finished around the same time. By that point I was cursing them with every word and phrase I knew in my head, my arms and legs were so shaky. I watched Jin watch Juniper as she passed the front of the group for the tenth time and slowed down. Watched our mentor turn back to us, mouth opening to speak and hand raising, only to hear the unmistakable sound of someone else¡¯s hand hitting their leg. Several groans broke out, including my own, and Jin¡¯s motion quickly changed direction into a clap.

    A gray stone appeared on the back of both of my hands and didn¡¯t slip. They looked and felt like a real river stone even though I knew they couldn¡¯t be. Still, the slight weight was enough to crumble what strength was left in my arms. They fell and were quickly followed by the sound of someone else¡¯s arms dropping. The stones disappeared.

    ¡°Idra, Gimley, Loclen, go run. Juniper and Dera, resume your places.¡±

    I didn¡¯t comment on the oddity that she knew all of our names, assumed that they had still been watching us the afternoon before, and ran. Ran with the same single mindedness that I used when I attempted to track Rawley at the beginning of my huntress training. Afterward didn¡¯t matter. Finishing without showing another sign of weakness mattered.

    I ran and the training platform seemed to stretch wider with every lap. My legs threatened to mutiny and I reminded them that we had hiked for much longer through Flickermark. Granted, running had never been much of a strong suit, but if I could outrun a bane pack then, I could storms well run ten laps now.

    This time I didn¡¯t count the exercise over until Jin spoke after we finished our ten laps and, miraculously, no one else gave into the strain.

    She raised a staying hand. ¡°Rest. Drink from the vines if you need to. We¡¯ll begin again with the next exercise in five minutes.¡±

    I barely kept in a groan at the reminder that this had been the first of a day¡¯s worth of training. Who knew what she would have us do next or how long she would keep us here for? If she decided to have us skip the midday meal or keep us running there wasn¡¯t much we could do to refuse.

    I made my way over the adjoined platform with the ice vines, careful to keep my back straight and get my breath under control as quickly as possible. Then I chipped off a few ice flakes into a cupped hand with my eating knife and drank as the ice quickly melted into cold, clear water. As I drank more, I noticed that Juniper, Idra, and Ento didn¡¯t bother with the vines. Instead, Juniper used her blessing to summon water before tipping the liquid into each of their mouths. Breck also drank from her own water skin rather than walk over to the resting platform. I hadn¡¯t brought mine down from the dome, knowing that the vines were here, but I considered bringing it the next time to cut through the hassle of repeatedly chipping off ice during what would likely be very short breaks.

    The second activity was even worse than the first.

    Jin organized us into a circle in the grass area again and then, in a tone that brooked no argument, commanded that we hold hands with two different people across the circle. Right hand to right, left to left. I held back for as long as I could, but soon I was the only one still free. No one else seemed to have any qualms about the sheer proximity of everyone else, the rub of a shoulder or the feel of a sweaty hand. So I steeled myself and repressed a shudder as I leaned forward and took Prevna¡¯s outstretched hand along with Breck¡¯s remaining free hand. Prevna gave me a knowing look before turning her attention back to the knot of hands in the middle of the circle. The goal of the game, if it could be called that, was to unknot ourselves so that the middle was clear and those we held hands with stood at our side without letting go for the entire time.

    I didn¡¯t doubt that the game was supposed to promote communication and teamwork as well as reveal who tended to lead or follow. As it was, Wren wrested control away Juniper with a smile when the younger girl tried to take charge, and kept it¡ªalong with the peace¡ªwhen Nii and Idra began to bicker. Somehow they had ended up holding hands and neither of them liked it. Loclen and Dera broke in with insightful ideas how to to untangle ourselves from time to time while Ulo, Breck, and Ento perform a few interesting feats of flexibility to untangle a certain section of the group despite the fatigue from the previous exercise.

    I kept my focus on not ripping my hands out of the others¡¯ grasp and doing my best not to touch arms and hands as little as possible when I was required to slip through them. In some odd way it reminded me of being trapped in a narrow crawl space and the comparison wasn¡¯t a comforting thought. I wasn¡¯t used to amount of physical contact, and the fact that it hadn¡¯t been a choice along with the knowledge that the game was designed to force interaction made all my instincts that promoted the decision to run stand up on high alert.

    But I couldn¡¯t run. Not if I wanted to pass the training and become a whisper woman.

    So, instead, I did the distasteful thing and fell back on the old habit of doing what was expected without a word while I cursed and ranted and screamed in my head. I think I stood a little too long without responding, glassy eyed and out of it, because Prevna tugged on my hand and gestured with her chin to the air above us. I looked up and only saw branches arching way overhead, the bottom of a platform or two, and open air. Seeing the space calmed me enough that I was able to slide under the pair of arms waiting for me without a fuss. When I glanced back at her, she acted like nothing had happened. I went back to concentrating on finishing the game, which ended a handful of minutes later when Andhi and Wren finished untwisting themselves, and it was only in the dome that night that I had time to wonder how Prevna had known seeing the open air would help me or why she had cared to help.

 Book 2 - Ch. 6: From the Ground Up

    The days began to fall into a pattern, much as they had when I was training with Rawley before the Dark Night celebrations. Early morning was time we had to ourselves. Some slept in while others explored more or worked on their own personal training. I was typically one of the first to the cooking area¡ªonly Breck or Dera occasionally arrived before me. I would eat quick and leave before any of the other Seedlings had a chance to arrive. Then I would spend the rest of the time I had before Jin¡¯s training poking around, trying to discover hidden areas or pathways or clues to what the passwords could be for the blocked paths. So far I hadn¡¯t found anything so interesting or helpful other than a small nook off one of the paths near the outlook point. It was tucked between two branches where one grew from the other and then dipped and curved under the original. A sap railing blocked access to the secondary branch, but something about the slightly flattened top of the smaller branch had caught my attention, so I had climbed over the railing and very carefully checked out the possible path. Which revealed the small platform tucked underneath and blocked from view by needles on most sides. It wasn¡¯t big enough for me to actually throw stones with my sling, but I had enough clearance to practice the motion without watching eyes. The platform was round and around six feet wide, more than enough room for a single person. Sometimes I spent my early morning in the nook, reviewing the things I had learned in private to keep them fresh.

    Midmorning found everyone gathering on the training platform, unwilling to fall behind by missing Jin¡¯s lessons. Normally, she began with some sort of strength building exercise or endurance training while she lectured us about a new topic. There was no guessing what topic would be covered. It could be anything from one of the sects to a specific whisper woman to the Beloved and the goddess to knowledge of terrain to skills like public speaking. Once she was satisfied that the majority of the group had absorbed the lesson¡ªor was unable to continue the exercise satisfactorily¡ªwe were given a short break before participating in a team building challenge. She thought up some bizarre activities. Other than the human knot we also had to get objects over a finish line without using our hands and keep a heavy clay ball in the air without touching it twice. Other times we had to act as each other¡¯s eyes and ears while trying to build a tower of twigs or fall back into our partner¡¯s waiting arms without stumbling.

    I always stumbled. Idra and Ento never did.

    Nor did it escape my notice that I was always the last pick when it came to partners, more so than my own tendency to hang back could account for. Most of the group who had been present when I told Andhi to get touched by a shamble man wanted nothing to do with me and I knew word of the incident had spread to the rest of the girls. Despite our team training and Jin¡¯s advice for us to bond the other seedlings were content to leave me alone. No one wanted to be the next to be unwittingly burned and they had all already picked their favorites.

    Juniper had the luxury of always partnering with Idra or Ento, and the odd one out of their insular group would join up with an indifferent Breck. Loclen and Nii often paired together as did Ulo and Andhi. Wren partnered with Dera every chance she got, though sometimes she would give me a quick, unreadable glance during the transition between activities. So, I was often left with Prevna, whose lips would often quirk in a sarcastic and knowing way. I knew the sheer number of times we were partnered wasn¡¯t a coincidence. Most of the others were also at least a little wary of her and willing to let the Picker deal with the odd, mean, unpredictable last member of the group. Still, I didn¡¯t appreciate the feeling that Prevna was doing me a favor.

    After team building we moved on to weapon practice. Apparently, whisper women were expected to be able to defend themselves in all manner of situations, just in case, along with being proficient at surviving on their own. Ento, Nii, and Breck were the forerunners in those lessons followed by Prevna, Ulo, and me. We all had skill with a sling as well as few different weapons. Nii was the champion of ranged weapons, thanks to her blessing. It seemed all she had to do was see where she wanted her shot to go and that was where her stone or spear or needle would land. It didn¡¯t take long before Idra egged her on by asking if even a plate would land where she wanted it to. I think the egotistical girl was hoping to humiliate Nii, but the plate smacked the target dead center, exactly as intended.

    Ento was skilled with an odd style that used a dagger in each hand. I wasn¡¯t sure how it could have helped her with hunting, but fighting other humans with daggers begged for someone to accidentally trespass on the goddess¡¯s right to death. Breck was skilled with more weapons than I thought a girl a year or two older than me should know. Spear, sling, knife, needle, stone hammer, lasso, if it could be used against an animal she had trained with it. The spear and lasso were where most of her skill lay, by far, but she was still better at the sling than I was despite splitting her focus between so many weapons. She was also better at the spear than Ulo and I could tell that aggravated the other girl.

    Some of the girls, like Dera, Loclen, Juniper, and Wren had never hunted before and thus had had no reason to touch any weapon other than their eating knives. They had to learn everything from the ground up. I kept a blaze of gratitude to Rawley behind a blank face when I found that out. Jin ended up splitting us up into different training groups: beginner, intermediate, and advanced. Beginner was focused on building their skill with the basic weapons of sling and spear. Those of us who already had some skill with those were placed in intermediate. We were tasked with advancing those skills as well as learning at least one more weapon. I chose the knife since it was simple and practical and traps apparently didn¡¯t count. Prevna took up the whip, as did Andhi, while Jin opened up one of the trunks in the training area and gifted Ulo with a pair of gloves that had chips of stone stitched into the leather over the knuckles. Idra looked a little too happy when she first got her hands on the stone hammer she would be training with. The advanced group consisted of Ento, Nii, and Breck, and they were given free rein to practice on whichever weapon they wanted each training period.

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    After weapons training we were starving, sore, and more than ready for a late midday meal. That was when the cliques within our group became the most apparent. For the most part everyone sat with their housing group though Nii would join the third dome group so she could chat with Ulo and Loclen would settled down to talk with Prevna, Wren, and Dera. It was the rare day when they both joined the same group or sat with me instead. Loclen normally only sat nearby on the days that Prevna decided to sit next to me and amuse herself with my discomfort along with the annoying reminder that I had agreed to be allies. No one dared to try to break into the first dome group.

    Then it was time for us to tromp back to the training area so that Jin could grill us with different challenges and scenarios that tested our problem solving and strategy skills. Practicing tracking and other intelligence gathering skills were also thrown in sometimes as well. Given Rawley¡¯s focus on preparation and flexibility¡ªalong with the fact that such training had been one of her favorites¡ªI excelled at that training. So much so that sometimes I earned glares from the others even before I had a chance to speak when Jin presented us with a new scenario. Not that I was perfect, but often I was able to develop a decent answer and justifications for it along with another possible approach while they were still parsing through the question. A product of my childhood conditioning, no doubt. However, when it came to stealth, Loclen and Juniper were the most skilled by far.

    The last section of training was the most unexpected by far. We were taught how to write and draw on wide pieces of slate with sticks of chalk. Reading, of course, came with learning to write. When Breck and Idra balked at the lesson, Jin gave them extra work in the form of having a slate full of evenly spaced, small characters by the lesson the next day. She made it very clear that whisper women were expected to be able to communicate in a variety of ways and that drawing would help us share information and use maps in the future¡ªnever mind that in the tribes only healers and Echoes used writing to store and remember limited information. Healers for their labels and recipes, Echoes on the rare occasion Grandmothers needed to share secret information or a story with another Grandmother in another region or before they gathered for the cold season.

    I took pains to hide the fact that I already knew the eighty-six basic characters; I had no need to disguise my wobbly lines and poorly sized shapes when it came to drawing, however. Prevna was the only one who knew about my healer past and I wanted to keep it that way. Still, I found Jin giving me a shrewd look shortly into the training, both during the writing lesson and the times when I used my knowledge of plants to come up with an answer to one of her riddles or scenarios during the strategy lessons. Apparently, years of reflexive training weren¡¯t so easy to hide, though the other seedlings made no sign that they noticed a difference between my writing and theirs.

    During the evening we were left to our own devices again. After the evening meal most chose to get some extra personal training in, or sit in their dome or the stage area and talk and work on simple tasks like washing clothes, repairing tears, tending to their weapons. As seedlings the fire starters weren¡¯t obligated to take care of such menial tasks for us and there was comfort in the familiar work. Taking a dip in the bathing pool was also a popular activity, and laughter and splashing often drifted from it after meal time. I went later. The desire to see what the others¡¯ bless marks looked like wasn¡¯t enough to push me into such a vulnerable spot. Knowing their blessings was more than enough¡ªthough I had yet to figure out what exactly Ento, Idra, and Breck¡¯s blessing entailed.

    I spent the time in my nook going over my huntress training or poisons or plants or¡­healing. I knew I didn¡¯t have the beads anymore and that if I ever actually indulged in healing someone again I would be in a mind numbing amount of trouble, but there was a¡­sense of comfort in thinking through the recipes and plant preparations. Comfort in knowing that I had knowledge and a skill set that I had earned, that none of the other girls could rival¡ªnot that they would have wanted to. Comfort in knowing that even though I was skilled at hurting and breaking others to protect myself, if I really needed to, in a way, I could put them back together and protect them too.

    Of course, doing so at this point wouldn¡¯t amount to much. What was my healing skill in comparison to a goddess¡¯s wrath? My hand slipped down to touch the pouch the felt leaf I had cut was tucked into.

    But if I really had to, if there was no other option, as long as I kept up my knowledge, I could. It wasn¡¯t like I had anything else worthy of an apology.

 Book 2 - Ch. 7: Line of Sight

    I leaned against the muddy orange of the outlook¡¯s railing, letting the wind tug on the hair that had escaped my braid, and watched the sun crest over the mountains in the distance. Even from this distance I could tell there were two sets of them. The Shadow Caster Mountains and the Broken Spear Peaks, split by the Cut¡ªa haven for Picker bands and the bane of runner tribes and other travelers. The Cut was the most direct and geographically easy way from the central portion of the goddess¡¯s domain to its eastern heart. When I had traveled back from the goddess¡¯s procession with a temporary tribe of other travelers we had to pass through the Cut. Not even our numbers had been enough to dissuade them. Instead, we had to pay the Pickers a steep ¡°protection¡± fee of goods and food, and even then we had to carefully stick to their route so we didn¡¯t get fleeced by another band.

    Nor had I appreciated the feeling of being caught between two high walls at the time, despite the fact that the Cut was wide enough that it could take a week or more to travel from side to side on foot. The Shadow Caster Mountains were said to be tall enough that they touched the tips of the Silver Forest and so, if you were determined and desperate enough, if you climbed to the top of the tallest peak you could speak to the dead. Someday, I would confirm for myself whether that rumor was true or not. Not that I had anyone I particularly wanted to talk to in the land of the dead, but the possibility of it was intriguing.

    The Broken Spear Peaks were much less of a goal destination and more a place to be avoided from the handful of myths I had heard that took place there. Kidnapped boys and a beast of wing and scale and realistic nightmares strong enough to kill a woman. Interesting, perhaps, but more dangerous and less rewarding. The goddess¡¯s touch ran strong in those mountains, ground down and crumbling as they were, especially in the Upper Peaks. It wasn¡¯t a place you traveled to lightly unless you dreamed of becoming a shamble man for eternity. From what I had heard, the tribes that had settled on their fringes had long since moved away and even the Pickers in the Cut made sure to give those mountains a wide berth.

    Flickers of movement caught my attention down below, just beyond where the needles and branches would have otherwise blocked my view. A dozen dots, presumably whisper women, had gathered on the red sand of the lake shore. A barrier I hadn¡¯t noticed in the dark of night before¡ªit looked like a dark fishing line from here¡ªblocked their way into the lake. I watched as they shuffled around each other for a moment before falling still and ready.

    A tentacle bashed into the wall. Another immediately followed it and one of the whisper women began to dance.

    I gaped, eyes wide. I hadn¡¯t ever seen a lake creature so large and aggressive, much less with the determination to go after prey on land. The true size of it was hard to tell from my vantage point, but each tentacle dwarfed the whisper women. Nor had I ever thought I would see something brazen enough to attack whisper women, especially practically within the roots of the Seedling Palace.

    As the whisper woman danced, the water began to swirl near where the tentacles had emerged. The other whisper women no longer stood still either. One had strode up to the wall and another had something swirling around her and a third was pointing at the sky over the lake.

    Lightning punched down out of the sky from nothing and sparked through a small portion of the lake, lighting it up. More tentacles writhed there, all connected to the shadow of a bulbous body. The creature squealed high and sharp enough that I could hear it as the lightning struck it. It lashed out with a few retaliatory strikes against the wall, but the swirling water was dragging at it now and the swirling cloud¡ªsand, I thought¡ªcontrolled by a whisper woman shot over the wall and caught the remaining tentacles still on point to hit the wall. The water darkened around the hit tentacles. The thing shrieked again just as another lightning strike slammed down on top of it. It writhed beneath the water¡ªand was gone.

    No more strikes hit the wall and after nearly a minute the swirling water changed, so that instead it was pushing the specks that had floated to the surface of the water after the lightning strikes to the shore. The whisper women set ladders against both sides of the wall that they used to clamber over it and into the shallows. I saw most not bother with them, however. One merely vaulted over the wall like it was only some irritating child¡¯s construction and another walked up the side if it like she was still on flat ground. The rest stepped into the shadows created by the Seedling Palace and morning sun before reappearing in the wall¡¯s shadow on the other side. Those that had used the ladders looked like they had were receiving earfuls of jibes and playful ribbing from the others. They began to gather the specks, presumably fish and other animals, that had been pushed close to the wall in large nets. I watched them work for a while longer, but no more monsters appeared, so I decided it was time for me to continue my morning exploration.

    Pushing back from the railing, I spared another glance toward the mountains and¡ª

    ¡°Are you still too broody to consider anything but your shadow as an ally?¡±

    My shoulders tensed and I didn¡¯t need to turn around to know who it was. Over the last couple of weeks of training Prevna had perfected the art of showing up precisely where she was uninvited and unwanted.

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    I kept my gaze on the horizon so I wouldn¡¯t give her the satisfaction of knowing I had seen her smug little smile. ¡°Go away.¡±

    Instead, she strode up beside me, uncomfortably close on the small platform, and leaned back with her elbows on the railing. The railing was a little bit high for it to look entirely comfortable, but she didn¡¯t seem to notice.

    ¡°You should get more creative with your lines. ¡®Go away¡¯ and ¡®don¡¯t talk to me¡¯ and annoyed sighs get old after awhile.¡±

    I held in a sigh and glared at her. ¡°What do you want?¡±

    Surprise quirked her eyebrows up briefly before her smile widened. ¡°Let¡¯s cross the thin paths. I want to know what Breck saw over there.¡±

    I turned back to the view so she wouldn¡¯t see my reaction to her offer. The promise and threat of the narrow pathways had been a constant nagging in the back of my mind since I first laid eyes on them. One misstep could easily lead to a fall that resulted in broken bones or worse, even with the paths with the ropes for balance. But I also couldn¡¯t put off crossing them forever and knowing what lay on the other side was a very sweet prospect. However, that still didn¡¯t mean I needed to complicate things by getting another person involved.

    ¡°Go ask someone else.¡±

    I sensed more than saw Prevna roll her eyes. ¡°Oh, come on. We both know you¡¯re dying to find out what¡¯s on the other side, and there¡¯s strength in numbers. Better to have someone catch you if you fall, right, ally?¡±

    I slanted her a look. Narrow and mean and aware. We both knew she had to have heard the story of the bridge collapsing in Flickermark if she had heard the rest of the story, and I didn¡¯t appreciate her alluding to recreating the scene of when I had saved Fellen.

    ¡°Better catch yourself or get someone else to do it then.¡±

    She huffed out an amused snort. ¡°Fine. Maybe I¡¯ll get Wren to help me then. We could hold hands all the way across.¡±

    I recognized a jibe when I heard it and my ears flushed hot at the implications. ¡°How¡ª¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not exactly difficult to read, no matter what you think. Next to me, she¡¯s the one you glance at most and you practically melted when you met her back in that alcove in the valley.¡±

    ¡°I did not.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± Prevna¡¯s irritating, knowing smile was back. ¡°So are you coming or am I holding hands with Wren?¡±

    My mouth worked as I fought to come up with the smartest response to the blatant manipulation. It wasn¡¯t like there was actually anything between Wren and me¡ªfrom the looks of it, Dera was the most likely to hold that honor, so Prevna and Wren holding hands wouldn¡¯t really mean anything even if the other girl agreed to it. But I still didn¡¯t like the thought of it and now that option to cross the thin paths had been put squarely in front of me, it was hard to tamp down on the curiosity. Not to mention, that if Prevna did slip she would, more than likely, catch herself and I doubted that any part of the Seedling Palace would crumble as the stone bridge had. Of course, we did have training relatively soon and I also doubted that we could make it to the thin paths, cross them, and still have adequate time to throughly explore the other side before we would need to return.

    Finally, my teeth ground together before I gave her the response she wanted. ¡°Tomorrow morning. We¡¯ll eat at dawn and then go directly to the paths.¡±

    Victory brightened her expression and she clapped me on the shoulder. I flinched at the unexpected touch but she made no sign of noticing the motion, though I was sure she had. ¡°Perfect. I¡¯ll sit with you at the midday meal in thanks, ally.¡±

    She walked away and gave a short wave of goodbye over her shoulder before I could reply. So, I just glared after her. We both knew I would have preferred it if she stayed in her normal group.

    I rubbed my forehead and waited a few minutes for her to get a decent lead ahead of me before I also made my way back down the path. The last thing I needed now was to accidentally catch up with her and start another awkward, annoying conversation. I spent the remaining time I had before I needed to head over to the training platform stomping around my nook, fuming, and going over the conversation in my head. Which didn¡¯t improve my mood and only solidified the notion that Prevna was nearly as good at traps as Rawley, in her own way. The only thing I couldn¡¯t figure out was how she had known I would be at the outlook.

    - -

    Jin¡¯s announcement that day only soured my mood further. Apparently, it was time for us to start training our individual blessings. Getting to know the ins and outs of it, all the parameters. Some of the group knew their blessing more intimately than others because they had discovered it earlier into their childhood or the skill was more straight forward. As far as I could tell there wasn¡¯t much to train with mine. I didn¡¯t die¡ªnot a whole lot of wiggle room with that. Of course, saying I was ¡°resilient¡± had a lot more leniency which was exactly why I was using it as a cover. It seemed in the near future I would be forced to share the truth to Jin and swallow the consequences, no matter that I had planned to be more sparing about the reveal than I had in the past. There was always the chance that someone would take the blessing as she had, rather than Rawley¡¯s interpretation.

    The added training also meant that I would be losing some of my free evenings as Jin would use the time for concentrated, individual training. Just the thought of more training on top of our current schedule sounded exhausting, though I made sure not to show it. The exhaustion and worry intensified when Jin shared the rotation. I was second on the list, so I had the privilege of going tomorrow night. Breck was first. From what I could tell, she had front loaded the list with those of us who had been more tight lipped about our blessings. I held in a exasperated sigh. Between the morning exploration Prevna had pressured me into, regular training, and now this new training, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

 Book 2 - Ch. 8: Tree of Amber

    The cooks didn¡¯t have anything ready for us right at dawn, except for a couple handfuls of the berries they were going to smash and spread on flat bread. Prevna and I weren¡¯t exactly thrilled to find that out, even if it made sense from a timing standpoint, but we had both gone more than a morning without food before, so we took our berries and made our way to the thin paths as we ate. The walk wasn¡¯t peaceful. Prevna kept lengthening her longer strides, so that I was forced to take twice as many steps to keep up with her, but when the brisk walk nearly turned into a race she slowed down and pretended that nothing had happened. It was infuriating, but I couldn¡¯t comment on it without sounding like I was whining or rush ahead to beat her without looking like a fool.

    Instead, I spent the time cursing her silently and planning revenge. She could smirk all she liked, but see if I didn¡¯t ignore her for the rest of this little trip and mess up her long strides the next time we were paired in training.

    Which was why when we came upon Loclen, nearly running, just beyond the bridge Prevna was smugly grinning while I glared spears into her back. I nearly ran into Loclen, I was so focused on how return Prevna¡¯s petty behavior. She pressed back into the railing and managed to slip by me with only an inch or two to spare. We stumbled to a stop at the unexpected sight of another seedling up and about at the crack of dawn. I knew for a fact she had still been curled up on her bedroll when I had left the dome earlier. Now she was alert and..cranky with everything tucked neatly into place.

    Loclen started forward in the direction we had been going with a muttered, ¡°Took you long enough.¡±

    I rounded on Prevna, ¡°Why is she here?¡±

    She offered, ¡°Strength in numbers?¡±

    ¡°Really,¡± my face pinched into a sour look.

    Prevna waved a dismissive hand. ¡°Look, I might have mentioned yesterday that we were going to go exploring and that if she didn¡¯t want to miss out, she could meet us here.¡± She shot an appraising look after the other girl. ¡°I didn¡¯t think she actually would.¡±

    A bird chirped behind me and I jumped, just a little, before I spun around to find Wren making her way through the tunnel under the bridge with Chirp and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

    My voice came out more biting then intended, ¡°And her?¡±

    Prevna shrugged, smile back in place, ¡°You weren¡¯t the first one I approached.¡±

    ¡°You sure made it sound like I was.¡±

    ¡°We both know you wouldn¡¯t have come otherwise.¡±

    My teeth ground together. ¡°I could leave now.¡±

    Wren reached us and hooked one arm through Prevna¡¯s and¡ªafter only a brief moment of hesitation¡ªlinked arms with me as well. Instantly, my body was at war with itself. One part insisted on pulling away from the intimate, unexpected touch while another rejoiced to be touching Wren, in some capacity, for the first time and a third was stuck wallowing in dumbfounded shock behind the other two parts as they rushed ahead. Prevna gave me a look over the other girl¡¯s head that dared me to leave even as the tilt of her head indicated that she knew I wouldn¡¯t.

    Wren dragged us forward before I could make a decision. ¡°I don¡¯t know how anyone gets up at this hour. Chirp had to keep pecking my head for a couple minutes before I could keep my eyes open. I mean I know why we had to get up now, time to explore and all that, but I don¡¯t know how anyone does it without feeling awful. Do you?¡±

    She addressed the question to me and, just like that, I knew I was trapped. My gaze caught first on her pouty lips and then, with a jerk, on her honey colored eyes, closer than I had ever thought they would be, before I felt my ears heat and I glanced away to focus on quelling the moths in my stomach. I think I managed to mumble something about being an early riser.

    Wren sounded wistful. ¡°Lucky. I might be able to stay up late, but if I didn¡¯t have Chirp to wake me things early in the morning might as well as not happen. What about you?¡±

    She turned her attention on Prevna and I did my best to block out their conversation. It was too much, too early into the day. I wasn¡¯t prepared for small talk and Wren¡¯s touch and her doing her best to treat me like everyone else. I wasn¡¯t prepared to suddenly have three people to keep an eye on rather than one. Just like I wasn¡¯t prepared for the complete lack of control my reaction brought.

    Mumbled words? Averted gaze? Fluttering insides?

    That wasn¡¯t me, not anymore. I was better than that, stronger than that. Storms, I was Gimley now and that meant, if nothing else, that I kept control of myself rather than be under anyone¡¯s thumb. This girl and her looks and easy nature would not break me.

    The urge to shove Wren away swelled in my hands but the memory of Fellen¡¯s crying face swelled in my mind¡¯s eye as well along with her quiet command to be better. So, instead, I stiffened my back, set my shoulders, and removed my arm from Wren''s hold as precisely as possible.

    By way of explanation I said, ¡°I¡¯m going on ahead,¡± and left Prevna and Wren behind. I wasn¡¯t quick enough to leave Chirp behind though. He winged his way onto my left shoulder with a satisfied chirp and began to preen his feathers. When I tried to brush him off the little bird gave my ear a warning nip and when I turned to tell Wren to call her bird back, I saw Prevna make some comment to her before Wren bumped her to the side, playful and embarrassed.

    I killed the curiosity that interaction caused and focused instead on keeping my position between the pair and Loclen until we reached the narrow paths. Once there, we eyed our options as a group and Chirp fluttered back to Wren. The two right tracks had the ropes tied to posts at waist level, in line with the left side of each path. The inner right path was also notably thinner than the outside path. The left paths were similar though neither of them had ropes for security.

    ¡°Do you really think Breck ran across these?¡± asked Wren.

    A bitter smile twisted Loclen¡¯s mouth. ¡°It¡¯s not so impressive. For all we know she could have taken the rightmost path. And it¡¯s not like she¡¯s one to bluff about doing something so ill thought out.¡±

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    Looking at the open air and flimsy looking branches below the paths, I privately thought it was still somewhat impressive. At the very least, it wasn¡¯t something I planned on doing anytime soon.

    Prevna¡¯s eyebrows quirked as she addressed Loclen. ¡°She do something to you?¡±

    Her response was terse. ¡°No.¡±

    We were smart enough to leave it at that and turn our attention back to our own crossing. In the end, we decided taking the rightmost path one at a time was the safest and smartest course. Loclen went first after insisting that heights didn¡¯t bother her. I had tried to take the position, but she didn¡¯t seem to trust that I wouldn¡¯t do something that would make the crossing more difficult for everyone else.

    So, she walked across, placing each foot confidently in front of each other as she lightly held the rope and we watched, ready just in case anything happened. Nothing did. She crossed the narrow path easily and looked impatient for us to do the same.

    Wren called out to Loclen. ¡°You made it look so simple! Why haven¡¯t you crossed on your own before if it¡¯s so easy for you?¡±

    Loclen lifted her chin. ¡°Who¡¯s to say I haven¡¯t?¡±

    That got my hackles up, but it wasn¡¯t as if I could do anything about it or figure out if she already been to the other side without getting there myself first. Still, her evasive answer sent my mind scrambling to figure out why she would want to join our little excursion if she had. It didn¡¯t look like she had tampered with the rope or it would have given out with the way Wren was leaning on it as she shuffled forward on the track. There was a bad moment when Wren leaned too far to the side and nearly fell before she caught her balance and made sure not to press into the rope so much.

    Prevna went next. Before she stepped out into the open air, she made sure to look back at me with a sly smile. ¡°Ready to catch me?¡±

    My glower seemed to be a satisfactory enough answer for her as she huffed out a laugh and made her way across the thin path. Prevna pretended to slip twice but I only flinched forward the first time. She was never in any true danger. Rather, it seemed, she couldn¡¯t pass up any opportunity in her new self-appointed quest to get under my skin.

    I clutched the rope tightly when it was my turn to make my way across the thin track and kept my eyes on my footing. I wasn¡¯t about to make a fool of myself when the others made it across safely. Besides, the rustle of pine needles and the rope were much more comforting than whistling wind and uncertain footing. I could run to the other side if necessary, but the wood under my feet felt much more stable than the stone in Flickermark had been. Still, it felt a bit surreal when I made it to the other side a minute or three later without anything going horribly wrong. For how long I had put off the crossing, it had been remarkably easy.

    The needles from a few overhanging branches obscured our view of what lay beyond, in a way that, while natural, was also artful enough that I couldn¡¯t decide if the effect was by choice or chance. Either way it did its job so that that the full force of what lay beyond didn¡¯t hit until we had ducked through the needles.

    A healer¡¯s haven.

    No, a poisoner¡¯s paradise.

    A sprawling tree like I had never seen before dominated the upper left of a wide circular platform. Rather than the cone shape silhouette of a pine, it had a thick trunk and branches that spread out above in a dome-like shape. Its roots reached out and curled around the entire platform, creating pockets where soil had been placed and various bushes, grasses, and flowers grew. The roots even outlined a pool of clear water on the right side of the platform. The whole tree was made out of smooth brown amber sap and tendrils of ice vines curled around the tree, feeding the pool of water and the amber baskets full of different plants hanging from the tree¡¯s branches. The gentle plink-plink of water dripping from the vines was nearly swallowed up by the rustle of pine needles around us.

    I stared at the wonder in front of me, feet frozen, even as the others failed to recognize what was in front of them. Wren thought it was a pretty place to relax, Prevna couldn¡¯t see the point of transporting so many plants to a place the fire starters clearly weren¡¯t using for cooking or other work, and Loclen merely made the remark that it reminded her of the terraced gardens of her home. I hadn¡¯t ever seen a ¡®garden¡¯ before, but from what she described after some prompting by Wren this fit.

    I didn¡¯t recognize all the plants, surprisingly, but the ones I did were all either the most common or the most versatile of what I had been taught. I could make most of Rawley¡¯s poisons from the plants here, if I wanted. However, as I looked closer, I noticed that not all the plants were doing as well as they could have been. A few I knew were shaded under the sap tree when they should have been in the sunlit patches that broke through the branches above and others were being over or under watered from what I could tell. My fingers itched to move the plants to their proper places, to dig in the soil, and feel the leaves and stems in my hands.

    ¡°There¡¯s more hunger in your face than I thought you capable of.¡± I jerked as Prevna snapped me from my reverie. Something flashed across her face as I glanced up at her but she quickly covered it with a quip. ¡°Who¡¯d have thought plants capable of it?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer her directly, though I could think of two very different people who¡¯d have known it. I could come back here, alone, and take the time with the plants I suddenly craved. It wasn¡¯t something anyone else needed to be party to.

    I pushed myself up from where I had been kneeling next to a bush. ¡°Let¡¯s move on.¡±

    She let me brush her off and we found that the other two were also ready to see what else lay beyond the platform. We found that the branch we were on narrowed until it was impassable, but just before we would have had to turn back another branch overlaid it. That branch had a smaller one jutting out of its top that blocked us going to the left, so we took the only path we could.

    That led us on a slight descent until we came across another platform that spread out from the path¡¯s left side and rose up to create a dome, like a bowl had grown out of the branch and been tipped over on its side. A stone slab, carefully carved and smoothed flat, stood in the center of the shadowed dome. It came up to my waist. On the slab a pine tree had been carved with an eye in its trunk and flecks of stars around its branches. The tree had been inlaid with red glass, an unusual and rare choice, while the stars and eye had clear glass. A small bowl of bone, no bigger than my palm, rested in front of the stone. A breeze scented with the smell of cold snow seemed to catch and swirl in the dome before continuing on its way.

    A shrine to the goddess. They weren¡¯t that common given that Grandmothers were more reliable in getting a prayer to the goddess and most tribes didn¡¯t stay a place long enough to warrant using resources to build them¡ªexcept for during the cold season and that¡¯s when there were more than enough Grandmothers to go around. Some people kept smaller, simpler versions of the stone on them as an extra sign of loyalty or for smaller prayers they felt the need to express but weren¡¯t important enough to bother their Grandmother with and that didn¡¯t need to reach the goddess.

    I hadn¡¯t thought to find a shrine in the heart of the goddess¡¯s domain, but it made sense, in a way. It wasn¡¯t like whisper women had a Grandmother to pass along their prayers unless you counted the High Priestess, who was likely too busy for prayers, anyway. And everyone knew that praying without a conduit¡ªGrandmother or shrine or Grove, pine tree if you were truly desperate¡ªwas as likely to reach the goddess as a feather in a storm. Fellen¡¯s and my prayer in Flickermark had likely only reached Her because we had been surrounded by a place made by Her power. Even whisper women had prayers to make and perhaps a shrine in the Seedling Palace was more reliable than one constructed further from the goddess.

    We took turns pricking our marks and letting the blood drip into the bowl with our prayer needles. That was how I learned that Loclen¡¯s mark lay just below her elbow, on the inside of her forearm. It was made up of three concentric circles, all broken up into dashes of varying lengths. I wasn¡¯t sure how Wren could tell exactly where her mark was below her eye, but she pricked it with the ease of long practice.

    After that we continued to explore and it didn¡¯t take long for it to become apparent that the garden wasn¡¯t the only wondrous thing the thin paths had hidden away.

 Book 2 - Ch. 9: The Beloved

    Shortly after the shrine the branch we were on split into two. The right path looked to continue forward without descending further while the left kept descending, quite steeply, and lost any pretense it had grown naturally. In fact, it transformed into a covered, living stairway. Small branches had sprouted tightly together from either side of the path and curved upwards so that their needles wove together and formed a blue-black and purple screen. The stairs didn¡¯t look carved or lashed to the branch, but rather like a river could mold stone, some great force or will had worn the steps into being. A shiver ran up my spine as I caught sight of the statue at the entrance to the covered staircase.

    It was the same tall and elegant woman the statues in Flickermark had depicted just before Fellen and I took the path to the chamber with the goddess¡¯s puzzle. She sat with her feet casually dangling over the edge of the branch while her right hand held a long drape of needles from obscuring the staircase. However, the statue¡¯s face was turned toward the split in the path, a conspirator¡¯s grin turning up the corners of her mouth. It felt like she was staring right at me. The simple dress she had worn in Flickermark had also been replaced with flowing robes. If it wasn¡¯t for the fact that entire statue was made out gray stone, I could have sworn she was about to shake the long hair pooling around her waist out of the way before rising and slipping down the odd passage.

    The others noticed the passageway and statue about the same I did and I heard Loclen¡¯s quiet intake breath before she murmured, ¡°The Beloved.¡±

    Prevna and I both turned to stare at her, but I wasn¡¯t sure if Wren heard. She was busy hurrying toward the staircase and reasoning with Chirp as the little bird had flitted ahead and was now determinedly rooting around in the needles the statue was holding back.

    Prevna gave Loclen a searching look and demanded, ¡°Have you seen her?¡±

    Loclen shook her head though her eyes were caught on the statue. ¡°Not in person. But there is another statue in the Arches. It¡¯s tall, much taller than this one, tall enough to see over the gorge, and made of ice that never melts. It looks like she¡¯s resting. Every year during the Dark Night celebrations my tribe¡¯s Grandmother would gather us together in front of it and tell of the First and Last Wave. In the tale, it is only through Beloved¡¯s reasoning with the goddess that many tribes were saved from a mountain sized wall of ocean water. Now, her back saves us from the Lady Blue¡¯s temper.¡±

    I made a mental note to get the full tale from Loclen in the near future and decided against mentioning the statues I had seen in Flickermark. It made sense that they had been of Her Beloved rather than a random woman, though it was also disturbing to picture Her Beloved coming upon amused and weeping versions of herself within the bowels of that maze.

    Prevna was about ask another question when Loclen spoke again, more to herself rather than either of us, ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought to find another sacred statue here.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s eyebrows rose at the other girl and she seemed to change direction from what she was going to say before Loclen murmured to herself. ¡°You thought there wouldn¡¯t be images of the Beloved in the center of Her territory when you have one on the edge of it?¡±

    Loclen rolled her eyes, slightly exasperated, ¡°Not on some random path in the seedling area!¡±

    A sputter of outrage came from the staircase and we looked over to find Chirp now pecking and scratching at the statue¡¯s hand holding the pine needles while Wren tried to snatch him up without hurting a wing. He avoided her attempts and chirped something at her. From the shocked and annoyed expression on her face, whatever he had said wasn¡¯t very kind.

    My suspicion was confirmed when she shot back, ¡°I could find a worm after a rainstorm if I wanted to! You¡¯re the one with only songs in his head! Stop pecking at that statue¡ªit¡¯s disrespectful!¡±

    Chirp didn¡¯t stop. In fact, he redoubled his efforts and, just as I was debating the merits of going over and trying to help Wren, something fell from the statue¡¯s hand before hitting the branch and rebounding into the open air. Chirp swooped after the small object and caught it in his beak before returning to Wren and landing on her shoulder, chest puffed up with pride.

    Prevna, Loclen, and I hurried over to them and had to crowd together for there to be enough room for everyone to see, though I did my best to keep as much space around me as I could. Chirp dropped the object into Wren¡¯s waiting palm and I leaned forward. She held a deep blue stone, polished to a nearly impossible sheen and spherical shape, with a bit of hardened sap clinging to its back, chipped where Chirp had broken it loose.

    Chirped hopped on Wren¡¯s shoulder and warbled another note, clearly expecting praise for his unexpected find. She huffed out a breath, and gave him an indulgent smile and quick head rub. He puffed up even more and seemed to strike a pose.

    Loclen also offered Chirp a smile. ¡°Smart bird.¡± She focused back on the marble. ¡°Why do you think it was hidden?¡±

    Prevna fell into what I was starting to recognize as one of her thinking faces¡ªheld tilted to the side, jaw set, and eyes focused on some middle distance. ¡°It could have to do with those paths blocked by guards or some training we haven¡¯t got to yet.¡± She blinked away her concentration and shrugged. ¡°You could ask Jin.¡±

    Wren smiled again and I couldn¡¯t decide if it was genuine. She closed her hand over the marble and slipped it into a pouch. ¡°That¡¯s a good idea. I¡¯ll check with her and see if this guy¡±¡ªChirp was tapped affectionately on the head¡ª¡±simply found something pretty or not.¡±

    I doubted someone would take the time to hide a stone simply because it was pretty, but I didn¡¯t press her. We only had so much time to explore and wasting time speculating about a stone that all of us likely had the same level of information on didn¡¯t seem like the best way to spend it.

    I would have pushed ahead down the tunnel but the other girls were in the way, so I gestured instead. ¡°Let¡¯s keep going.¡±

    Prevna nudged me in the side. ¡°Nothing to say about Wren and Chirp¡¯s special find?¡±

    I grimaced at her. ¡°You already said everything. We shouldn¡¯t waste time standing and talking when there¡¯s clearly more to explore.¡±

    Wren straightened her back. ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s keep going.¡±

    Loclen made a noise of assent and turned to head down the tunnel. Wren and Prevna followed her while I took up the rear. Wren struck up a conversation with Loclen about stealth and their weapons training. Prevna joined in with a few comments and tips of her own, but it only took a handful of minutes for the conversation to peter out.

    The branches and needles closed over our heads. The light from the entrance and a few holes in the foliage helped us see for the first few minutes, but then the stairs started to curve away from the entrance and the branches making the tunnel grew thicker. Despite the growing light outside, the tunnel dimmed to gray semi-darkness before fading all the way into pitch black. And none of us could make sparks of fire. The others¡¯ conversation faded as they were forced to focus on their footing and feeling their way.

    I focused on keeping my feet moving and breathing steady.

    The shape of the tunneled staircase was painfully similar to a tent¡ªand we were leaving the only entrance I knew of behind. But they didn¡¯t need to know about this particular weakness of mine and it was something I had experience pushing through on my own. I didn¡¯t need comfort. Besides, logically, the tunnel would have an exit leading to open air to match the entrance. There was just no telling how far away that exit was.

    I clenched my jaw, arms wrapped around my middle, as darkness closed around us and fought to keep the fluttery panic in my stomach contained. Even without seeing the walls around me, I could feel them like a pressure weighing down my back and shoulders. Couldn¡¯t slip, couldn¡¯t stop, couldn¡¯t let myself think or I would be flooded with memories I associated the claustrophobic sensation with. One shuffling step and then another. Down and down and down.

    My left foot caught the next stair wrong as the staircase abruptly changed direction and I stepped too close to the stair¡¯s edge. I slipped. Flung one arm wide to catch myself with a gasp and landed hard on my butt. Sounds of shock echoed my own and just like that I was back in another tunnel with uneven footing.

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

    Curled up, legs folded to my chest, eyes squeezed shut tight. The shocked and then irritated voices of tribe members after Mother refused to let me wear a blindfold into Flickermark¡¯s exit tunnel. I had tried to be brave, be the big girl she snapped I needed to be, but there were too many eyes pressing in around and flickering with odd shadows in the tribe members¡¯ torch light. And I had just tripped on the open, screaming mouth of a man being set on by a bane pack. I didn¡¯t want to see anymore. Wanted Mother to pick me up in her strong arms and carry me the rest of the way even if I was going to be punished after that for making her carry me and the twins. No supper and a spanking were better than seeing whatever other horrific scenes the tunnel held.

    But the herders behind us were getting impatient and Mother was hissing at me to stop causing trouble and embarrassing her and Father had to be standing somewhere behind her with lots of heavy bags weighing him down. I needed to be a big girl. A daughter they could be proud of and that the tribe members couldn¡¯t point to as evidence of how troublesome and ungrateful healers were. A daughter that never caused her mother to look at her in disappointment.

    So, I unclenched my arms from around my legs and jerkily tried to dash the tears leaking out as I worked myself to open my eyes. I wouldn¡¯t scream, even though one itched dryly at my throat. I would get up and just focus on the twins on Mother¡¯s back and walk until I wasn¡¯t in the tunnel. I could do it. I was a big girl.

    I opened my eyes.

    Darkness, different from the darkness behind my eyelids in the tunnel, filled my vision.

    That wasn¡¯t right.

    My breath came fast and short. That was right, but I remembered seeing dozens of eyes staring back at me when I opened my eyes. Flickering lights and stone horrors. Mother¡¯s furious face as she dragged me to my feet.

    Not¡­not simple darkness. Not shuffling footsteps and voices I couldn¡¯t focus on enough to make out what they were saying. I didn¡¯t remember those things.

    I drew in a shuddering breath as realization slowly dawned. Right. The stone passageway was just a memory. I wasn¡¯t there. I was seven years older¡ªno longer that terrified child. I was exploring the Seedling Palace with a group of¡­acquaintances and there were no horrors to see here. Only a covered staircase that lacked lighting.

    Slowly, I started putting my awareness back together, separating memory from fact and firmly pressing what was memory down into the forgotten depths of my mind. It was no help to me now.

    Someone tripped over me and fell hard with a curse. That snapped me fully back to the present and I recognized Prevna¡¯s voice as she pushed herself back up. ¡°Gimley?¡± And then another curse as she scrambled back. ¡°Storms, I¡¯m not supposed to touch you.¡±

    That statement struck me as odd, but the fear of slipping back into another memory with the tunnel still pressing all around was more than enough to distract me from it. So, instead, I stupidly asked, ¡°Prevna?¡±

    I sensed her shift closer to me. ¡°Do you know where you are? Can you stand? I didn¡¯t hurt you, did I?¡±

    Another odd question as was the stressed fear in her voice¡ªjust enough to root a suspicion in my gut despite the claustrophobia muffling my thinking. Still, there would be time enough to press her once we were out of this cursed tunnel.

    ¡°I can stand.¡± I levered myself up to prove it.

    ¡°Good. Can you hang onto my tunic?¡±

    Feeling a fool, and not willing to feel even more pathetic, I snapped, ¡°I¡¯m not a child. Just walk, Prevna.¡±

    She mulled between her options for several moments before responding. ¡°Fine. Let¡¯s go.¡±

    We shuffled down the steps, carefully navigating the stair¡¯s quick corner. After seven steps Prevna called out to Loclen and Wren. ¡°I found her. You can keep going.¡±

    Loclen called back, ¡°What happened?¡±

    I cut into Prevna¡¯s hesitant pause. ¡°Slipped.¡±

    Wren¡¯s voice slipped through the dark, alarmed, ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    My tone didn¡¯t leave much opening for more questions, so when Prevna prompted them again they started back down the stairs. I¡¯m not sure how long it took us to reach the exit or how many steps there were. I lost track as my attention narrowed back down to not slipping as each new step presented itself. Easier not to get swept back into the memories and fear that way.

    I did notice when the tunnel began to lighten with light from the exit, however, as did the others. All of our steps sped up until we burst free from covered staircase. We found ourselves on a platform that was like a much wider version of the outlook¡ªand rather than seeing beyond the Seedling Palace we got to see what was in the inner circle the copse of trees made.

    A round nest made up amber sap and impossibly long branches dominated the space between the tree tips though there was no way reach it except for the ice vines that curled out from the trees to support it. They looked too thin support a body¡¯s weight, much less the sphere of strategically placed wood and sap. Here and there balconies opened up the sides of the nest, but otherwise it was an artful fortress of wood, accessible only by sky or shadow.

    The goddess¡¯s residence.

    A few of tales with the Seedling Palace mentioned it, but I never thought there would be a viewing platform in the seedlings¡¯ area to look upon it. The goddess¡ªor the Beloved¡ªcould be within it even now. The sheer proximity of it was enough to exchange the last trembling fear in my limbs from my trial in the staircase for shaky awe. It was one thing to be within the jumble of branches of the Seedling Palace and recognize that the nest¡ªthe goddess¡ªhad to be nearby and quite another to actually look upon it.

    We lost more time staring up at the wonder of it, bunched up against the platform¡¯s railing, until Loclen made an uncharacteristic garbled noise and pointed. We followed her finger to a platform almost out of sight from the nest¡¯s curve. But the rightmost side of that balcony was still visible and, leaning against the railing there, was the woman whose statue we had just seen at the beginning of the staircase.

    Her dress, high necked and sleek, was such a vibrant, rich red that it could only be goddess made. The unusual color and the casual, confident way she broke convention drew the eye and held it. Red was an accent color that normally only Grandmothers wore; red was for spilled blood and offerings. I didn¡¯t doubt the Beloved knew exactly what statement she making by wearing such a bright shade of it from neck to foot. Black hair contrasted sharply with the dress as it spilled down to her hips, only contained in three tight braids over her left ear. Red and white decorated her ear, most likely an ear cuff but she was too far away for me to make out details. Pale skin and strong features. Lips as dark as her hair. A mark coiled from the corner of her right eye before disappearing down into her dress collar. She looked like she could be a handful of years older than Rawley, at most, but history and something about the way she held herself belied that impression.

    I stared, barely daring to breath. Barely staying on my feet.

    This was the Beloved. The woman who first earned the goddess¡¯s trust, the one who opened the way for humans to live in Her territory. A legend and myth made flesh. I wasn¡¯t sure I would ever earn the honor to lay eyes on her even once I became a full fledged whisper woman. And yet there she was, unmistakable, on a random morning leaning on a balcony and seeming to listen to the wind as it whispered by.

    The High Priestess, Lithunia, stepped out from the nest and onto the balcony. She was still as pale as I remembered her being from the goddess¡¯s procession. If the Beloved was darkness and blood, then the High Priestess was snow and shadow. Her dark gray dress also broke convention as it wasn¡¯t the typical whisper women robes, but it gave her the advantage of showing off the large swirling mark covering her ribs on her left side. She touched the Beloved¡¯s hand, drawing her attention in a familiar way, and they spoke for a few moments before sweeping back inside.

    We waited, eerily still, afraid to break the moment and hoping against hope that they would reappear. After several interminable minutes I saw Wren lick her lips out of the corner of my eye before she asked, breathless, ¡°Did that really just happen?¡±

    Loclen swallowed. ¡°We saw the Beloved. It¡ªit wasn¡¯t a dream.¡±

    ¡°And the High Priestess,¡± Prevna put in. There was a short pause before she added, ¡°I¡ªthey¡ªI can¡¯t believe that we actually saw them.¡±

    They fell silent again as we all tried to process what had just happened. One part of me ruthlessly acknowledged that it had probably been an insignificant moment for the pair, that we hadn¡¯t even registered on their periphery, but the rest of me was still bound up in unaccustomed awe. I tried to rid myself of it as quickly as possible, disliking how sluggish and vulnerable the wonder made me. The association with the goddess¡¯s procession after seeing the High Priestess also pushed me to recover myself faster. Between that memory and what had happened on the stairs memories of her tongue lashings and lessons were entirely to close to the surface.

    As it was, I was the first to tear my eyes away from the balcony and focus on the other sights the platform offered. I watched as whisper women made their way across crisscrossing branches below, all the trees intertwined in their lower branches to create a web of intersections. A hub of easy travel for those who wanted to take a short cut across the grove, but who also didn¡¯t want to, or couldn¡¯t, travel with travel. Many fire starters also hurried across the paths as they worked to complete a variety of mundane tasks. I could also see a few other viewing platforms peaking out at different heights in the open air around the goddess¡¯s nest and it was clear that their purpose, as well as the one we were on, was to see the goddess¡¯s home in all its glory.

    At long last the others also pulled themselves from their shock and reveries, and we made our way back up the covered stairs as there was no other way to leave the platform. They made sure I wasn¡¯t last this time¡ªPrevna took up the rear¡ªbut I held myself together through the dark climb. I refused to lose control of myself a third time in less than an hour.

    We didn¡¯t explore down remaining area where the path forked before the tunnel. Didn¡¯t explore more at all, even though we had the time. Seeing the Beloved had made such things feel trivial and I think we all wanted time to be alone and pull ourselves fully back together before training. So, instead we made our way back to the thin paths and safely¡ªif a bit dazedly¡ªcrossed them. Prevna mentioned getting back together to finish exploring in the future and the others agreed and I held my silence, which they all noted but didn¡¯t press. Then I made my way to the nook before methodically working to shut away the lingering awe and terror from the events of the morning, so I would be able to focus during the day¡¯s training.

 Book 2 - Ch. 10: Unconventional Training

    Jin, if she knew about the early morning¡¯s exploration, didn¡¯t seem to care. Training was as strict and grueling as it had been from the beginning without any sign of letting up. In fact, if anything, it was worse because everything we did that day was partner or group based, even the warm up endurance training. And she didn¡¯t let anyone pair up with their normal partners. Out of all the seedlings, I was partnered with Juniper. Perhaps Andhi or Idra would have been worse, but Juniper¡¯s melancholy air unsettled me which was, especially after the morning I had so far, annoying. The highlight of each exercise was that she didn¡¯t seem to be any more inclined to talk than I was. We ran together around the perimeter of the training area, her left leg bound to my right by a piece of short rope, in concentrated silence while Jin lectured on the importance of communication and teamwork. We talked when we had to, like during the blind twig tower building challenge. But there wasn¡¯t point to pushing ourselves beyond that; she had her group and I had my own counsel. Still, Juniper did rise a bit in my estimation for her ability to stay silent and not waste words. The others argued¡ªIdra and Nii had been partnered together¡ªor fell into playful ribbing or seemed to be divulging their entire back stories to their new partner. Only Dera and Ulo as well as Loclen and Prevna came close to completing the tasks with the same single mindedness Juniper and I capitalized on.

    Which was why it was utterly unfair that we received nearly as many frowns and narrow looks as Idra and Nii did. We were working together and keeping focused. That should have been enough. Should have been praise worthy, but just because we didn¡¯t want to chat the day away we were being treated like troublemakers. Jin didn¡¯t act on her ill will right away, however. I kept expecting her to prompt us or berate us, but instead she simply watched and seemed to pack away what she noticed for another day.

    I noticed things too. Juniper was skilled at making quick decisions and she didn¡¯t seem to get flustered easily. She had the bearing of someone accustomed to authority. How she could have accumulated such authority when she looked younger than me was the real mystery. Her tribe could have been one of the ones who pampered those with bless marks, but the way Idra and Ento deferred to her told me it was likely more than that. My gut was set on idea that it had to do with the pearl she was so used to wearing that it might as well have been part of her body.

    However, the girl wasn¡¯t always the calm authority she liked to portray. Jin set me to helping her with the sling and, all in all, she was a terrible shot. She might have had only a few weeks of practice so far, but even I hadn¡¯t hit myself with the sling as much as she did when I was just starting. Needless to say, what stones did make it the distance they were supposed to never actually hit the target and disappointment glittered on her eyelashes rather the frustration I felt trying to teach her. Nor did she ever seem to relax¡ªthough, interestingly, she seemed to become the closest to it during the drawing portion of training. When I glanced over at her slate, it was abundantly clear that more of her talent had gone towards that skill than it likely ever would for using a sling.

    By the end of the day¡¯s typically training I was grudgingly grateful I had been paired with the other quiet girl even if her sullen air could be grating. The forced company had given me something else to focus on and the silence had helped steady me in a way being paired with Prevna would never have accomplished. She found too much joy in getting under my skin. That wasn¡¯t to say, however, I wouldn¡¯t have preferred being partnerless. A morning full of people followed by an afternoon full of more close contact with only a brief respite during the midday break had left me feeling itchy. I wanted to go grab something to eat quick before disappearing into my nook. As it was I didn¡¯t even get to leave the training platform.

    My first lesson about my blessing began with me feeling tired, hungry, sore, and more than a little short tempered. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to delve into any large insights or answer probing questions. My mind was already tired from the effort of keeping my mind off the events of the morning so that I could focus.

    Jin held no sympathy, emptily given or heartfelt. She sat lazily on the edge of the grass ring, legs outstretched and leaning back on her arms, and gave me a once over while I stood in the middle of the area. ¡°The whole palace buzzed when we first got word that two girls completed Flickermark¡¯s trial. Hana was adamant that you were a fool who didn¡¯t recognize talent, but she didn¡¯t mention how much you stank of fear.¡±

    That¡­was not the intro to the lesson I had expected.

    Of course, the whisper women would know about the trial when one of their own had started it and brought us a healer at the goddess¡¯s behest. Gossip was sure to spread quickly just like it did in the tribes. And I wasn¡¯t exactly difficult to identify with the mark on my chin. But what did that trial have to do with this lesson? She wouldn¡¯t bring it up without a reason.

    I tried to respond quickly but she had ruined the responses I had prepared. My head reeled, dizzy with the dozen of responses that wanted to come flying out. Mentally, I felt sluggish and whiplashed. But emotionally? Those were more than ready to rise up to the occasion, full to bursting after I suppressed them all day. Part of me wanted to spit insults back at her while another shriveled at her assessment but the largest and most outspoken part couldn¡¯t get past the need to deny her claims.

    I was neither a fool nor a coward and she was going to know it.

    ¡°If forcing a child onto the shadow paths when she can barely walk is talent, then the foolish one is the person who set the bar too low, not me. And I do not stink of fear.¡±

    She huffed out a breath, somewhere between irritated and amused. ¡°Your ability for flowery arguments indicates otherwise. As does your reluctance to connect with your cohort.¡±

    I folded my arms mulishly. ¡°I thought this was supposed to be a lesson about my blessing.¡±

    ¡°Oh? You¡¯re willing to share what it is then?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m resilient.¡±

    ¡°And I make pretty pictures in the air,¡± Jin deadpanned. She clapped and suddenly large, heavy roots were dragging me to the ground. ¡°We both know there¡¯s more to it than that.¡±

    I got a knee under myself which kept the illusion from face-planting me into the grass. It didn¡¯t stop my fraying temper from flaring up further. ¡°Get these things off me! I know they aren¡¯t real!¡±

    Jin¡¯s smile wasn¡¯t kind. ¡°Aren¡¯t they, though?¡±

    The roots¡¯ strength doubled and I was wrenched onto my belly, unable to see anything but a patch of needles and branches overhead. I struggled, but the roots kept sliding over me until the nonexistent, infuriating things had all my limbs locked in place.

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re obviously not resistant to force or being grappled.¡± Then as an afterthought, ¡°Or being provoked.¡±

    I fumed but denied her the satisfaction of vocally rising to that bit of bait. She clapped again and the roots disappeared only to be replaced with bone chilling cold that my clothes did nothing to abate. I started to shiver uncontrollably. She cycled through intense heat, muggy weather, damp fog and air so pollen filled it would have made anyone¡¯s nose itch.

    Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    Jin let the pollen air fade away as she came to her next conclusion, ¡°Not resilient to terrain conditions.¡± I started to sit up only to get struck by a needle in my arm. ¡°Nor needles, if not all piercing weapons.¡±

    I glared at her as I pulled the needle out and clasped the wound. ¡°Stop it.¡±

    She spread a hand wide in invitation. ¡°Then narrow down my options. This lesson is for you¡ªI¡¯d suggest making use of it.¡±

    ¡°Why does it even matter?¡±

    Her face was decidedly unamused now. ¡°Knowing the intricacies of your blessing could mean the difference between a dire situation and an acceptable one. It could mean the difference between life and death.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help it¡ªI snorted as she finished her second statement. I cut myself off before I made a clever retort, but the damage was done. Jin had done this dance with scores of reluctant students before and she was observant. Her head tilted to one side as she studied me.

    ¡°So, either you don¡¯t care much about your own safety¡ªwhich flies in the face of what I¡¯ve seen from you so far¡ªor your blessing deals in more extremes than ¡®resilience¡¯ would imply.¡± Realization brightened her features. ¡°Would you have made it through Flickermark without this blessing of yours?¡±

    I scowled at the grass, but spoke the truth. ¡°No.¡±

    Her clothing rustled as she shifted. ¡°Interesting. What did you survive?¡±

    ¡°Blood loss.¡±

    Jin made a humming noise eerily similar to one of Rawley¡¯s thinking sounds. ¡°Has it helped you survive anything else in the past?¡±

    My mind shied away from the feverish memories. She had already put most of it together; why should I have to relive that rejection just so she could prod me with more questions? I had already relived enough memories for the day. More than enough.

    The impulsive feeling that prompted me to throw Fellen¡¯s sling in the river and cut off my healer¡¯s beads and change my name welled in my gut. Why shouldn¡¯t I tell her my blessing? I was going to be the whisper woman who couldn¡¯t die, right? I wasn¡¯t going to get very far with that goal if not even my new mentor knew the truth. Besides, perhaps if she knew Jin would realize how stupid this whole lesson was and she would end it and I would be free to go eat and be alone. Even if she wanted to take advantage of my blessing after that it wasn¡¯t like I had to meekly listen.

    And I got the feeling she wasn¡¯t going to let up until she got the truth of my blessing out of me. Better to just get it over with and skip the circling questions and coercion and unpleasant memories. What did I have to be afraid of? It wasn¡¯t like she could kill me.

    ¡°My mark doesn¡¯t let me die.¡±

    Jin smiled, intrigued. ¡°From anything?¡±

    ¡°From anything,¡± I confirmed, voice hard and challenging.

    She sighed and spoke to the air, ¡°Well, this won¡¯t be fun, will it?¡±

    And then a needle sprouted from my neck. I coughed and choked as blood welled up. Unthinking, I scrambled to pull the needle out, but once I did the blood only welled quicker. I stared at the dual wide needles in my hand while I tried to stop the bleeding from my neck with the other hand. Jin said something else that I couldn¡¯t focus on and then she was next to me and pulling my hand away from my neck. I tried to stab her with her needles but she knocked them out of my hand.

    Businesslike, she pinned me to the ground despite my struggles. ¡°You understand I have to confirm your claim? Knowing the intricacies and all that.¡±

    I did not understand.

    But she had the advantage of more body weight, height, and strength. Jin didn¡¯t budge as I struggled to break free and breathe. She frowned. ¡°This¡¯ll take too long.¡±

    Jin freed a wicked looking knife from her belt, shoved my arm further from my side and cut open my armpit. I choked on a scream and felt my body grow cold as blood rushed from the new wound. It didn¡¯t hurt like I knew it should, but the firm, analytical part of my mind that refused to be taken over by thready panic quietly reminded me that was because of shock.

    I¡¯m not sure how long it took for my mark to start prickling, but it came as a relief when it did. Like in Flickermark, I stopped bleeding when any more blood loss would have killed me. I renewed my struggle then, but my arm wouldn¡¯t respond and my blessing didn¡¯t make me any stronger. It didn¡¯t do me much good.

    Jin said something else that I once again couldn¡¯t pay attention to, but then a few moments or minutes or an eternity later someone else was walking through the grass. A dark skinned woman with black hair braided back into a thick plait and an exasperated expression.

    Her mellow voice, so at odds with the situation, cut through my fogged awareness. ¡°I can only do this once a day.¡±

    Jin just looked up at her and the woman sighed before kneeling next to me and placing a hand on my head. She spoke again, more of a prayer this time. ¡°Be as you were.¡±

    A cool sensation flooded through me, radiating out from her palm. It was like dipping into the lake during the warm season or a fresh breeze during hard labor. I shivered and closed my eyes, only opening them again when the sensation faded and she took her hand away. Jin loosened her hold on me and I surged up and slugged her in the jaw. The other woman caught me before I could hit Jin again and it was only after a belated moment that I realized I had hit her with the arm that had been unresponsive moments before. My mark¡¯s prickling was also gone.

    I blinked. Struggled to think through the shock and fury numbing my mind.

    Had this woman just healed me with her blessing?

    I looked down at myself and felt at my throat. Wounds, blood, pain¡ªall of it was gone. My rushing breath flowed through my throat easily and my arm worked as well as it ever had.

    Jin sat back on her heels, rubbing her chin where I had hit her, and answered my silent question. ¡°Corrin made you as you were before I ever hurt you. Not healing and far more effective. No need to worry about infection or scars or any of that.¡± She eyed my clenched fists and stood. ¡°Hitting me again won¡¯t solve anything but get you more work tomorrow. You should be dead now, so it looks like your claim is at least partially correct.¡±

    I ground out, ¡°I¡¯m not going to let you attempt to kill me in other ways.¡±

    Jin shook her head, ¡°No, that would be too costly. Corrin can¡¯t be at my beck and call for all your lessons and if she doesn¡¯t get to an injury within an hour she¡¯s only as good with a bandage as the rest of us. We¡¯ll let your claim hold for now and doubtless it will be proved true or not through non-artificial situations in future. You don¡¯t seem like¡ª¡±

    ¡°You just tried to butcher me.¡±

    ¡°I did what was needed. If you want to try to even the score, you can challenge me in the arena when you gain access to it.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to challenge her in some regulated fight, didn¡¯t like the idea of everything being on her terms. Just because she was my mentor, it didn¡¯t mean she had the right to attack me and make me feel¡­helpless on a whim. It wouldn¡¯t be right unless she felt the same I did. Attacked without warning and without the ability to defend herself. I had my own strengths she didn¡¯t know about and she would feel the wrath of them soon.

    I glared at her. ¡°Just wait for it.¡±

    Corrin released me and stood before addressing Jin. ¡°Warn me next time.¡±

    It was odd to see her treat what Jin had done like it was nothing more than a rash decision. Jin had just tried to kill me. So either they both had total disregard for muddling about in the goddess¡¯s territory and drawing her ire, or there had been no doubt that I would survive whatever Jin did to me. The first was unthinkable given that they were whisper women, but the alternative¡­Jin had been testing my blessing with only the guarantee of my word of its ability, so she had to have had thorough knowledge that Corrin would be able to come to my aid in time and that her blessing wouldn¡¯t fail despite the excessive damage. Such an ability was untenable in its own right. How could something that just skirted around being healing be so easily used and accepted? That wasn¡¯t¡­it wasn¡¯t¡­

    Jin nodded though her tone was unrepentant. ¡°I knew you hadn¡¯t been called today.¡±

    Corrin rolled her eyes. ¡°Of course you did.¡± She glanced down at me. ¡°You¡¯re a lucky girl.¡±

    That statement seemed so out of place and incorrect that I couldn¡¯t even find my voice to tell her how wrong she was. I would have been lucky if I had been blessed with her skill¡ªbut that wasn¡¯t something I was ever going to admit to her. I had my plants. That counted for something.

    By way of goodbye Corrin told Jin, ¡°Treat her better,¡± before she walked away, stepped into the shadow at the edge of the ring, and disappeared.

    Jin focused back on me. ¡°Given that your blessing doesn¡¯t lend itself well to being tested and Corrin can¡¯t always be at hand, you¡¯re released from attending these extra lessons unless otherwise notified.¡±

    Then she also stepped into the ring¡¯s shadow, leaving me to fume and pick myself up in sudden solitude.

 Book 2 - Ch. 11: Revengeful Gardening

    After a quick stop at the cooking area I didn¡¯t head back to my sleeping quarters or even the nook to fix my cut tunic. Instead, frustrated fury conquered any trepidation about slipping off the narrow paths and I stomped my way back to the garden. What was a dangerous fall when I had already almost died tonight? It wasn¡¯t as if my emotional and physical dignity hadn¡¯t already been stripped away from me, so there wasn¡¯t anything else to lose.

    The garden was peaceful and quiet in the last rays of sunset. The amber tree cast twining shadows over the plants nestled in its roots and the hanging plants in its branches rustled and waved in a gentle, cool breeze. The sweet smell of cold water lilies mixed with the spice of folly flower vines was enough to stay me for a few moments to take in the sight before my fury swamped me again. I set down the sack that held a handful of bowls, a mortar and pestle, and two long handled spoons; the fire starter I had bullied into collecting the items at the cooking area had been thorough in getting the basics of what I might need. Then I methodically worked through the garden, making a mental note of everything I recognized. The moon rose high in the sky by the time I finished crawling through the tree¡¯s smooth branches to identify what the highest hanging baskets held.

    Then it was time to decide which poison to use. Somewhat ironically, there was a patch of Black Root just waiting to be ground down, but I decided against it. It might be ridiculously easy to prepare but there was no reason to bring Prevna into this. Not even tangentially.

    Another option was a mixture of bark from a ripple leaf bush and the thorny stem of Traveler¡¯s Catch to induce muscle weakness and spasms as well as a loss of balance for several hours with a small dosage. I got as far as stripping those components from their respective plants, suffering minor finger cramps when the thorns from the Traveler¡¯s Catch plant pricked me. I even scooped up water from the pond so that I could boil them together when one glaring issue slapped me in the face.

    I had no way to make fire.

    I dashed the bowl down onto the ground, flinging water everywhere. Then I growled under my breath as water soaked the toes of my shoes. Of course, something as simple as making use of all the warnings I had learned over years couldn¡¯t even go well today. It didn¡¯t even matter that the shoes were oiled against water¡ªit was just more proof that everything was determined to come back and bite me today.

    I didn¡¯t want to have to sneak back to the cooking area and use the fire starters¡¯ cooking stones. Didn¡¯t want the extra stress of working with a new tool who¡¯s heat I had no way to control and that I had decent chance of burning myself on.

    I wanted to stay in the quiet comfort of the garden where there was a slimmer chance of prying eyes. I liked having the plants around within easy reach. They were familiar and compliant and didn¡¯t try to kill me as soon as I opened up to them. They didn¡¯t render me weak and frozen from their mere presence or send me spiraling in memories I¡¯d rather not remember.

    They were safe.

    And if I could lose myself in creating the one thing allowed to me now without my healer¡¯s beads and use that poison I made later, then all the better.

    However, many of the recipes and mixtures I knew called for fire in some manner to bind the ingredients together or bring out latent potential. Granted, a decent number of the plants, like Black Root, were already poisonous in their own right, but many of those simply weren¡¯t powerful enough to have the kind of effects I wanted in their natural form or were too dangerous on their own. Quickly, I ran through my mental list of the remaining plants that could be useful without having to deal with fire.

    A slow smile spread across my lips as I recalled a very useful but simple combination. Feverluck and spiritflower. They had worked well to bring subtle revenge on Fellen when she had started out as a snob. It felt a bit poetic to make use of the effective combination here and both plants, being relatively common and versatile, had made their way into the garden.

    I plucked a handful of leaves from each plant with self-satisfied precision before returning to my work area near the sack. I crushed them together with the mortar and pestle much like I had with my hands back during the seasonal run, working out some of the pent up emotional baggage the day had gifted me.

    My hands slowed of their own accord, however, when the final grainy paste filled the bottom of the mortar. They didn¡¯t stop simply because the mixture was finished, but because an unsettling thought struck at the sight of the innocent looking paste.

    I could still have my healer¡¯s beads if I hadn¡¯t made this mild poison the first time. I wouldn¡¯t have gotten in trouble for hitting Fellen or flinging her sling into the river because we wouldn¡¯t have been paired together because she felt ill. She would have stayed with Nole and kept her distance from me. Which meant Grandmother wouldn¡¯t have berated me for my foolishness and even if she still had pressed me about the beads I would have been in a steadier frame of mind¡ªfar more unlikely to make the rash decision to cut off my beads like I had.

    I could have been using this garden in a myriad of different ways, acting on so much more knowledge. Used the plants like I ached to use them; fall back into the real comfort of the nostalgic rhythms of healing. I could taken care of my own wounds and not suffered anyone else¡¯s treatment. I could have proven myself better than her, more skilled and knowledgeable.

    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

    But instead I had gotten petty revenge on a girl who ultimately, at the time, hadn¡¯t known any better.

    I shoved the mortar and pestle away before rubbing my fingers over my temples and forehead. Was there nothing that memory couldn¡¯t ruin today? As if bidden by that particular question, familiar sayings rose up in my mind, born on waves of frustration and guilt.

    ¡°Be better.¡±

    ¡°Ambition is nothing without discipline.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t narrow your focus so much that you turn an easy task into an impossible one.¡±

    Apparently, memory had no qualms about making a terrible day even worse. I couldn¡¯t even get revenge for being nearly killed by Jin without feeling like an idiot. The whole scenario might have been humiliating and terrifying and painful, but in the end recklessly hurting her in return would likely do more harm than good for my ultimate goal. My rage guttered out like a doused fire at that cold realization.

    I was going to become one of the Chosen. No matter what else happened, I needed to be disciplined enough that I didn¡¯t jeopardize that goal¡ªand Jin, as the seedlings¡¯ mentor, was definitely necessary to learn what I needed. If I got revenge on her and then got kicked out of the lessons or earned her ire enough that she worked against me rising through the ranks¡­that goal would become more of a dream than a workable possibility. I needed to keep my path to the rank of Chosen as easy as possible without cluttering it up without unnecessary trouble. Jin had been doing her job, and she had done it as efficiently as possible, not matter how distasteful that had been.

    I could settle my grievance with her like she had suggested, in an official match, once my skills had grown enough that I had a decent chance at beating her. Doing something now, when she had all the authority and I was just a random seedling who had barely begun training, wasn¡¯t going to help anything, no matter how bitterly satisfying it would be.

    ¡°Patience. Listening. Preparation. Flexibility.¡±

    If there had ever been a time to listen to Rawley¡¯s tenets, this was it. I sighed and drew my knees up to my chest. My stomach grumbled a reminder that I had forgotten to grab food in my mad dash to get supplies to concoct poisons, adding to my misery. Numbly, I reached to the side and plucked a couple of bitter, chewy diatris leaves from the small bush to help stave off the hunger.

    There wouldn¡¯t be any closure today. Only a jumble of events that made me feel insignificant and without agency. I looked out over the garden again, meandering without any of the intense focus I had started out with. It was still pretty in the glow of the pine cones and silvery moonlight.

    My gaze snagged on one of the plants I had first noticed when I saw the garden for the first time this morning. It was a sun glory and, as the name suggested, it needed what sun it could get in the middle of the Seedling Palace rather than being shaded out by the amber tree. My shoulders relaxed slightly as I looked at the tall flowers. That was something I could still take care of.

    - -

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    My eyes flew open as I stifled a yawn. Prevna was crouched down in front of me, amused and faintly¡­concerned, while Loclen stood behind her looking annoyed. I shoved myself up into a sitting position from the large patch of moss I had fallen asleep on late into the night.

    The garden was still in a state of disrepair with my various poison experiments discarded near the entrance and trails of soil going every which way from when I had carried the plants I dug up.

    Some of the plants had been put back in the ground slightly askew and I hadn¡¯t cared enough last night to dig them up and fix it once they were in a better spot. I might have a lot of knowledge about plants, but I was by no means a gardener. I was used to finding wild plants and leaving them as they were except for a handful of cuttings or leaves plucked.

    Despite trying to scrub my hands clean, dirt was still caked under my nails and also now decorated my pants over the knees and the various parts of my tunic. My eyes felt gritty and it felt like a good chunk of my hair had escaped from its braid. I probably looked more than a little crazy.

    I scowled at Prevna and she snorted before she explained how they had come to witness me like this. ¡°Loclen noticed you didn¡¯t come back after your training last night and when you missed morning practice¡±¡ªI groaned inwardly at that bit of information¡ª¡±she asked me if I knew where you were. When you weren¡¯t at the outlook I figured you would be here.¡± She shrugged and smiled. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you had gone on a rampage and would be covered in dirt though.¡±

    Loclen¡¯s gaze snapped around the area. ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°Some of the plants needed to be moved.¡±

    She was clearly unimpressed with my answer. ¡°And that was more important than morning training?¡±

    My jaw set. ¡°I was working on it last night.¡± And then added in a petulant mumble I couldn¡¯t quite suppress, ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to fall asleep.¡±

    Prevna broke back into the conversation, ¡°Jin didn¡¯t comment on your absence¡ªwe kept thinking she was going to break into a lecture about being diligent and working hard¡ªbut you should probably clean up quick and come to the afternoon training. There¡¯s not much time left before the midday break is over.¡±

    I cursed and got up before hurrying over to the pool of water to splash water on my face and attempt to clean my hands again. They got cleaner, but were far from perfect. I untied my hair next, running my fingers through the mildly snarled strands and braiding them back together as soon it felt like I didn¡¯t have a knot of hair on the side of my head. Then I hurried for the thin paths and Prevna and Loclen followed.

    Prevna couldn¡¯t quite resist from commenting, ¡°I never thought I¡¯d see you this frantic.¡±

    ¡°Shut up.¡±

    She grinned and I crossed the widest path, using a rope for balance as I did my best to hurry without making a misstep. After that they told me to go on ahead to change and I didn¡¯t need to be encouraged twice. I went back to my dome, changed, and, on the pains of a raging stomach, hurried to the cooking area to grab something quick to eat.

    I made it to the training platform just in time for strategy training. Jin took notice of my presence with a glance, but otherwise didn¡¯t make an overture about the fact that I had missed the morning¡¯s practice or act as if she had tried to kill me the night before¡ªeven if she hadn¡¯t had any intention of it working. For my part, I kept more quiet than usual during what would have normally been my most vocal class and thought about how I would eventually get her back. Just because I couldn¡¯t have the consolation of immediate revenge and she had been testing me, didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t hold a grudge.

 Book 2 - Ch. 12: Nested Library

    Prevna, Wren, Loclen and I didn¡¯t explore the rest of the area beyond the thin paths until a few days later. They were intimidated about seeing something as significant as the Beloved again, not that anything could really compare to that. Well, Wren was intimidated. Loclen was noncommittal and I couldn¡¯t tell if Prevna was actually excited about something crazy possibly happening or if she was trying to drag our moods up. Granted, seeing the Beloved had been a long moment of glory, but there was a part of me that wondered if the goddess took well to having her ogled at. The sheer number of balconies on the goddess¡¯s nest indicated yes, while every myth that hinted at her jealousy said no. I thought we should skip any covered stairways, because then we wouldn¡¯t have to worry about ending up on the viewing platform, and everything would work out.

    Things did not work out. Not initially, at least. With how my luck had been lately, I should have expected it. Prevna and Wren had already crossed the rightmost thin path and I was starting to cross it next when Loclen, grumpy and tired with this second early morning exploration, decided to take the tinner roped path so she wouldn¡¯t have to wait. A handful of steps onto the path, I heard Prevna and Wren shout at her. Jerking my head up from focusing on my footing, I looked over to find Loclen rapidly stepping across the narrower path, a determined, irritated look set into her eyebrows and jaw.

    I muttered something unkind under my breath before snapping at her, ¡°You could have gone next!¡±

    She didn¡¯t pause when she scowled over at me. ¡°Just keep going. They¡¯re practically the¡ª¡±

    Her foot hit the side of the path and slid off. I jerked towards her, unthinking, in a bid to grab her that would have only worked if my arm was several feet longer. My own foot hit empty air and I wobbled. Bracing against the rope in one hand and staring at the void of thin branches and open air below me, I managed to shove myself backwards and find purchase on the path. After a moment of dangerous wavering my balanced steadied and I began to shake. Little tiny tremors running from my scalp down to my hands as delayed nerves tried to burst out of my chest.

    That was when I realized the shouting hadn¡¯t stopped. I forced myself to drag my attention away from how my hands were white-knuckled onto the rope and back over to what had caused my little trouble. Loclen was precariously balanced between her rope and the thin path. The rope was dug up under her right armpit and she was clutching at it with both hands while her right leg dangled, unable to find purchase, and her left knee was the only thing keeping her on the bridge. The rope creaked under her weight. She was trying shove herself back onto the bridge like I had, but her position wasn¡¯t giving her much leverage to work with. Wren was scooching down Loclen¡¯s path on her butt, one leg thrown over either side, so she didn¡¯t have to worry about grabbing the rope and messing up Loclen¡¯s precarious balance. It was undignified, but effective. Prevna called out suggestions and tried to be helpful from a distance while Chirp fluttered around anxiously and wasn¡¯t much help at all.

    Wren reached Loclen and steadied her, pulling her back onto the path by her waist. An annoying, ill timed, and idiotic flash of jealousy crackled through me at the sight, but I suppressed it a moment later. I wasn¡¯t more than a weird classmate in her eyes and it wasn¡¯t like I had done much to change that view.

    Loclen copied Wren¡¯s position once she was firmly settled back on the bridge even though it made her dress ride up. I thought I saw her skin darken with a blush, but Wren didn¡¯t comment on it. Instead, she kept up a mostly one-sided conversation about what we might find in the unexplored side of the fork and how nice the day was. Not that we could really tell what the weather was like outside the Seedling Palace other than when it rained or was exceptionally windy. Even the snow melted by the time it reached the middle areas of the grove. I started side stepping my way over to Prevna as soon as I saw Loclen was safely on her path, so I beat them to the other side.

    Prevna gave me a sideways glance. ¡°Alright?¡±

    I still hadn¡¯t found a good time to press her about what she said when she was trying to help me on the staircase and her unsettling concern reminded me of it.

    ¡°Why do you care?¡± The question came out more terse than I meant it to, but she just shrugged and let it roll off her.

    Then Prevna looked directly into my eyes, eyebrows quirked up, and a smile tugging on her lips. ¡°Why shouldn¡¯t I?¡±

    I looked away first¡ªnot sure if a sarcastic remark or genuine kindness was going to follow next or which one would be worse. ¡°Nevermind.¡±

    She snorted, amused, and let the conversation drop which worked out well because Wren and Loclen made their way onto the platform soon after. Loclen demanded that we not mention the incident to anyone which the other reluctantly agreed to and I promptly did. If no one heard about Loclen¡¯s mishap, they wouldn¡¯t hear about mine either. Then we made our way through the garden¡ªWren was surprised by the sudden disarray of it¡ªbefore passing by the shrine and down the right side of the forked branch.

    What we found was decidedly lackluster even without comparing it to the finds we had discovered during our first exploration. The entire branch was made up of several different areas for sitting or relaxing. The first area was similar to the recovery platform connected to the training area. Benches of dark sap lined one side of a small branch while ice vine tendrils curled around the railings on both sides. It looked designed for boredom¡ªall you could do was listen to the sounds of the trees and watch the dark needles sway in the soft breeze. The next area also had sap benches, but they were more like mounds with the centers pressed in. Each indent looked big enough to fit an average thirteen year old and was full of soft needles. Prevna proved my estimate correct when she tried laying down in one of the odd benches. Her feet and calves stuck out over the lip of the needle bed given that she was a year too old and tall for her age. Still, she said the pine needles were comfy. The last area didn¡¯t have any benches and was nearly identical to where we ate near the cooking area. A large vaguely-oval shaped area with a variety of cushions to lounge on and nothing else. There wasn¡¯t even a railing encircling the area. We pulled a few cushions together and sat to consider our options.

    ¡°Do you think it¡¯s just a place to relax, get away from the other seedlings if you want?¡± Prevna flicked me a glance as she asked this.

    Loclen considered for a moment before replying, ¡°Maybe, but it could also for reflecting after going down to the viewing platform¡ªor a place to rest after climbing all those stairs.¡±

    ¡°Or storytelling.¡± Wren put in and Chirp piped up to sing his agreement. ¡°This could be a fun place to tell ice folk tales at night. There aren¡¯t many pine cone lanterns close by.¡±

    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Once she mentioned it, I noticed that it was true. Most of the fire lit pine cones were further back along the path and over the other two areas. This spot looked to be relatively close to the open inner area inside the grove with the amount of sunlight that was already breaking through the branches, not that we could see any hint of the goddess¡¯s residence. While it was irritating that I hadn¡¯t noticed it right away¡ªRawley would have been disappointed¡ªthere was a kind of comfort to being in mostly natural light during the day. I think that¡¯s also partly why I liked going up to the outlook.

    Loclen smirked. ¡°Ice folk tales? Those are for children.¡±

    A flash of hurt crossed Wren¡¯s face before she covered it with a confident smile. ¡°Obviously, you haven¡¯t heard about the burrowing one then.¡±

    That was a tale I hadn¡¯t heard; I had to stop myself from leaning forward. I had always been so focused on the myths and legends about the goddess and whisper women that there hadn¡¯t much time for the more common children¡¯s tales. Of course, I knew a few from when the twins had been told before bed time, but they had never been as grand as the ones I was supposed to know.

    Loclen dismissed her point with a slight huff, ¡°No, but my tribe was always more interested in telling tales about sea monsters.¡±

    Prevna broke back into the conversation with a nostalgic smile. ¡°Milwa liked to tell stories about Sticky Fingers. He could charm his way into getting anything he wanted.¡±

    An uneasy silence fell as we tried to decide how to respond to her comment. A male Picker, especially that mythic male Picker, was more enemy than hero in our stories. Prevna might be part of our cohort now, but that didn¡¯t mean our differing histories didn¡¯t make things awkward sometimes.

    She noticed the silence with a wry smile. ¡°Don¡¯t try to tell me there aren¡¯t things you wouldn¡¯t mind charming your way into getting.¡± She winked at me as she finished speaking and I rolled my eyes even as I fought a blush that threatened to rise up my neck and onto my cheeks.

    Wren chuckled and the tension in the air released. ¡°I mean you¡¯re not wrong.¡± She shifted her attention to me. ¡°What stories did your tribe tell?¡±

    I shrugged and swallowed down the embarrassment clogging my throat. ¡°I think they mainly told tales about the ice folk too.¡±

    Her eyebrows drew together. ¡°You think?¡±

    ¡°I learned more about the historical myths and the ones about the goddess, the Beloved, and Her whisper women. There wasn¡¯t time for much else.¡±

    Wren continued to press, still confused, ¡°Not even for bedtime stories?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t choke back the derisive laugh that tasted like acid bubbling up from my chest. ¡°I wasn¡¯t told bedtime stories.¡±

    Then I pushed myself to my feet and walked away to avoid their wide-eyed stares. I didn¡¯t need their pity; the myths I had learned were perfectly fine. Some random childhood tale would have just made clutter in my memory landscape.

    Chirp fluttered onto my shoulder and, rather than get a warning nip, I ignored him. He seemed satisfied with that though as he sang a bit and worked on making sure his chest feathers were in perfect order. The others watched me for a few moments before settling back into conversation and occasional glances. I walked the perimeter of the oval area, careful not to step too close to the edge.

    Which was how I found the hidden pathway tucked up against the side of the platform. I felt a bit stupid as soon as I saw it¡ªI should have checked all the edges as soon as we arrived on the platform, especially given my experience with the waterfall path in Flickermark. This path was that one¡¯s twin except for the fact that it was made out of a hollow branch, cut open lengthwise, and there were footholds carved into the platform¡¯s side rather than a straight four foot drop.

    I considered trying to slip down the path alone, but Chirp was with me and I doubted I was stealthy enough to disappear from an open platform without them noticing. And there was the matter of Prevna and Loclen coming to find me a few days before. Owing a debt didn¡¯t sit well with me and I was supposed to at least make a show of getting along with everyone else.

    I turned and called over to them, ¡°Found something!¡±

    They scrambled to their feet and looked impressed when they saw what I had found. After that there wasn¡¯t much discussion. Chirp flitted back to Wren and twittered something to her that made her smile. Then I made my way down the footholds and onto the smooth path first because I had been the one to find it. Prevna followed me, then Wren, and Loclen brought up the rear. I focused ahead, straining to see where the path led, while Prevna and Wren speculated about what we would find, and Loclen kept up the pattern with a shrewd silence on her end.

    The path wasn¡¯t long. It rounded the outside of the platform we had rested on, which was much more bulbous than I had initially thought. The path ended at an opening in the side of the platform, just under the walkway leading to where we had sat, and big enough for Prevna to step through without hitting her head. The opening was covered with needles on the inside, so I couldn¡¯t see through. I waited an impatient moment for the others to catch up before I pushed my way through the needle curtain.

    Prevna ran into me when she tried to step through after. Rather than move out of the way, I stayed stock still, too busy taking in the sight in front of me. Scroll after scroll was tightly rolled in a loop of leather cord bound to a strand that hung from the flat ceiling above. There had to be at least fifteen scrolls per leather cord strand and dozens of the cords filled the room. Interspersed between the scrolls were pedestals of amber sap and each one had a different miniature scene displayed on top. The nearest one looked like the Seedling Palace, complete with purple and blue-black paint for the tiny pine needles and a version of the goddess¡¯s nest dangling in the center. Everything was lit up by small, softly glowing pine cone lanterns set into the ceiling above, which gave to rounded chamber an oddly cozy feeling.

    ¡°Gimley, move. Or I¡¯ll push you.¡±

    Not wanting to stumble into the scrolls or knock the miniature Seedling Palace over, I moved. Prevna stepped in with a relieved sigh before she also paused to take in the room. She got over her surprise quicker than I had, however, and stepped quickly out of Wren¡¯s way. Wren thought it was interesting but Loclen¡¯s awe was the closest to my own¡ªwhich was interesting because I didn¡¯t think she could read yet.

    We moved further into the chamber, not wanting to repeat our earlier mistake and overlook something. In the center of the room was a cleared space. A young woman, older than us by at least a few years, looked up from where she lounging on several cushions like she owned them and moved her scroll to the side to get a better look at us. She was pale skinned with waist length wavy brown hair spread out over the floor behind her. Her features looked somewhat pinched and her lips were also black, but she wasn¡¯t wearing whisper woman robes; a comfortable and fancy looking deep green tunic and black pants covered her instead. Her bless mark was a black circle around the base of her throat. She was an older seedling, most likely. Jin had said they were called Sprouts or Saplings depending on how far they were into their training.

    She twitched her scroll back in front of her face. ¡°Shawsh, you have visitors!¡±

    I turned to focus on the old man¡ªhe had to be a fire starter¡ªsitting cross-legged on a cushion and mumbling over a half finished scene of some icy mountains perched on a pedestal no higher than my knee. He was tall and thin with a scrawny look that his silvering black hair didn¡¯t help. He held out a handful of tiny clay pieces to the woman.

    ¡°Ice blue, please, Clara.¡± He didn¡¯t even look away from his project.

    The older Seedling rolled her eyes before setting her scroll aside and rolling up into a sitting position. ¡°He gets like this sometimes.¡± Clara accepted the clay pieces and closed her hand over them, she seemed to concentrate for a moment before she opened her hand and passed them back to the old man. When she did they were all a perfect ice blue color, just like he requested.

    Clara gently touched the man¡¯s arm. ¡°Visitors, Shawsh.¡±

    He started and twisted around, blinking in surprise before a broad grin broke across his face. ¡°You found the library early!¡±

 Book 2 - Ch. 13: New Knowledge

    There wasn¡¯t a reward for finding the library early. Not a password or a special scroll or anything remotely encouraging other than the fact that we were allowed to take the scrolls to the reading nooks above as long as we returned them by the next day. And everyone was allowed to do that once they found the seedling¡¯s library. Wren tried to ask what would happen if someone took the scrolls further than the reading nooks or didn¡¯t return them on time, but then Clara got a dangerous glint in her eye and asked how she might like to have green skin.

    Wren wasn¡¯t a fan of that idea.

    Shawsh was a fan of giving us a tour of the library. The thought of shuffling after the old man didn¡¯t sound appealing¡ªI itched to slip off on my own and find out what lay hidden in the scrolls for myself instead¡ªbut then Clara fluttered her fingers and we all thought it best to follow Shawsh to the back of the room. She settled back down onto her cushions with the scroll she had been reading and a bit of a smirk.

    He stopped in a clump of scrolls that didn¡¯t look any different from the rest though they were yellowed with age and they surrounded a pedestal the same height as my head. On top of the pedestal was a miniature statue of a beautiful woman with honey colored hair that draped in thin strands over her arms and the slate she was writing on. Her whole body seemed focused on what she was writing¡ªhead bent in concentration, legs drawn up underneath her¡ªas if she was pouring her soul into the words. A bless mark ran in a line over the middle of her bottom lip and down her neck, but she wasn¡¯t wearing a whisper woman¡¯s robe. Instead, her dark blue robes had many light, flowing layers that seemed to shimmer in the light.

    Shawsh gestured broadly to the statue. ¡°Moorkin, the first Recorder and one of the original Chosen. These are reproductions of her drawings and more notable recordings of events during her time.¡± He turned slightly and lovingly brushed his hand in the air above a particular strand of scrolls. ¡°I¡¯d recommend the Collection of Wishes once you learn to read the archaic characters.¡±

    Wren¡¯s nose scrunched in confusion. ¡°Why would we need to read archaic characters?¡±

    Why would you not want to? Wren¡¯s complete lack of interest in expanding her knowledge about something other our cohort¡¯s social dynamics was what was really confounding to me. We had a chance to read Moorkin and that meant diving into the first days of the whisper women with the account of someone who had been there to experience it. A firsthand account of the beginning of the Fealty Age.

    Shawsh didn¡¯t explain any of that. Instead, he tapped his leg as if in a moment of realization. ¡°The goddess used the written word before it became what it is today. I¡¯m sure that¡¯s why it¡¯s required.¡±

    Wren didn¡¯t look convinced about the significance of learning the archaic versions of the characters she was already struggling to learn, but we moved on to another semi-circle of scroll strands and a pedestal. The scene on top of this one was a pile of weapons. Everything from slings and spears to Ento¡¯s daggers were featured in the pile, but none of them crowned the top of the pile. That special position was reserved, terrifyingly enough, for a shamble man with the goddess¡¯s eye carved into its back.

    Loclen broke into the silence to ask what we were all thinking. ¡°Why is there a shamble man on top of all the weapons?¡±

    Shawsh rolled his shoulders and grinned again. ¡°Do you think you could beat the goddess¡¯s power?¡±

    Her face drained of color and Loclen¡¯s eyes darted around. ¡°N-no!¡±

    His grin broadened a bit further. ¡°Of course not. Who could? I thought the shamble man was a good reminder of what is really the most powerful.¡±

    Prevna appraised the terrifyingly accurate statue in front of us before focusing on the old man. ¡°Did you make all of these scenes? I haven¡¯t seen anything like them before.¡±

    Shawsh shrugged, sheepish. ¡°It¡¯s a hobby.¡±

    A snort sounded from where we had left Clara. ¡°You can say that again when your artwork isn¡¯t decorating an entire wall in the goddess¡¯s nest.¡±

    I froze at that revelation. This fire starter had been recognized by the goddess? His art? How had She even known he existed?

    Wren had a different pressing question she breathed out. ¡°You got to decorate the goddess¡¯s nest? What is it?¡±

    ¡°Oh, nothing much compared to all the great works here and Clara was kind enough to help me.¡± Shawsh had a faraway look in his crinkled eyes as he gestured vaguely to the scrolls around us.

    ¡°But what did you do?¡± Loclen pressed.

    Shawsh blinked himself back into the present and sidestepped the question. ¡°It was for the goddess.¡± He gestured to the scrolls again, but more firmly this time. ¡°These are the works of various training masters of particular weapons. The diagrams within can help you perfect the basics or learn something new if you¡¯re ready.¡±

    He didn¡¯t let the conversation drift back to his art in the goddess¡¯s residence after that though he was happy to go over the pieces we found in the library. Clara also refused to expand on what they had created for the goddess once the tour was done. She seemed to enjoy our exasperation even as she disapproved of the library keeper¡¯s modesty¡ªnot that that caused her to break solidarity with Shawsh.

    So, instead, we had learned about the remaining areas in the library. The collection near the entrance, around the Seedling Palace statue, was the largest by far. Those were various writings by, for, and about seedlings and whisper women. Some apparently depicted some of the myths about the more well known whisper women while others were more for practical application, such as a short essay about the different sects. Another collection was centered around a maze on a waist high pedestal and they were all different varieties of brain teasers and diagrams that proposed different strategical and tactical problems for the reader to solve. The last area only had two scrolls hanging open against the wall on either side of a pedestal. The pedestal held the statue of a pine tree whose roots created bowls of blood. The scroll on the left side of the pedestal listed the Named blessings and those who had bore them while the scroll on the right listed those who had failed to become whisper women. No blessings, no other identifiers but their failure. Name after name after name. My mouth tasted sour as I stared at that list that far outlasted its more prodigious companion.

    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

    After that Shawsh settled himself back down in front of his work in progress, with the direction that we were to get him if we wanted to read any of the out of reach scrolls, and immediately lost himself in the work. Clara put off any attempts at conversation by pointedly focusing on her scroll, though she always paused for Shawsh¡¯s color requests. I was ready to wander through the scrolls a bit more to pick out something to read, but I didn¡¯t want to showoff the ability and Prevna and Wren wanted to leave while Loclen seemed to take the library keeper¡¯s comment about archaic characters seriously. She wanted to hurry up and master the eighty-six basic characters so she could move on and be ready for those. I didn¡¯t tell her I had already read one in Flickermark.

    I tried to get them to leave without me but since we apparently had to do everything as a group, Prevna stuck as close as she could to me until I¡­couldn¡¯t stand having a second shadow and agreed to leave. We made our way back up the hidden path and onto the platform before pausing at the fork in the path. Wren had gotten over her intimidation and wanted to go back down to the viewing platform on the off chance she would see the Beloved again, Loclen wanted to get back to our dome and her writing slate but was hesitant to cross the thin paths on her own, and I was more the willing to go back the way we had come and lose myself in all the new knowledge the library was bound to contain.

    I kept silent as they tried to negotiate what we were doing, only really paying attention to the likelihood that I could slip away to read. Which was when I heard Prevna offer me up without getting my agreement first.

    ¡°Gimley can go with you, Loclen. I¡¯ll go with Wren to the viewing platform.¡±

    I snapped my head up. ¡°Why do I have to go with her?¡±

    Prevna gave me a cool, measuring look. ¡°Do you want to go with Wren and chance slipping again, instead?¡±

    I didn¡¯t like the warning stress she put on the word ¡®slipping¡¯. She shouldn¡¯t know anything¡ªthough I got the feeling that she did. Still, I could take care of myself and I didn¡¯t need her input.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Why are those my only two options?¡±

    She snorted. ¡°Because you didn¡¯t deign to grace us with your opinion five minutes ago.¡±

    My teeth ground together but I held back a growl of frustration. Go and babysit Loclen with the chance of returning for the library before I needed to go to the morning¡¯s training, or go with Wren and face the threat of the dark tunnel and the distracting flutters she invoked.

    With a conscious effort I released the pressure on my jaw and made my decision. ¡°I¡¯ll go with Wren.¡±

    Fear never got me anywhere and I refused to be weak.

    Prevna¡¯s eyebrows rose. ¡°Really?¡±

    I glared back. ¡°Really.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Fine.¡± Prevna glanced at Wren and Loclen. ¡°That fine with you two?¡±

    Wren looked caught somewhere between indignant, worried, surprised, and pleased before she settled on indignant. ¡°We shouldn¡¯t treat Loclen like she¡¯s a burden. I mean she nearly fell earlier! I¡¯ll go with her¡ªI can go to the viewing platform another day.¡±

    Then she hooked her arm through Loclen¡¯s and pulled the startled girl along with her. Prevna and I were left staring after them, and an uncharitable part of me wondered why she couldn¡¯t have announced that conclusion at the start of the whole discussion.

    Prevna gave me a sidelong smirk. ¡°She totally just avoided you.¡±

    I turned on my heel to head back to the library and waved a dismissive hand to brush away her words and the embarrassment burning in my throat. ¡°Most people do.¡±

    Prevna used her longer legs to slide in front of me before I could take more than a single step. ¡°Can I talk to you for a moment?¡±

    I crossed my arms again. ¡°You are right now.¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t be difficult.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not.¡± I moved to step around her.

    Prevna blocked my way again. ¡°Look, I just wanted to check and see that you¡¯re actually alright. Allies and all that.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    ¡°Really? Because last I checked we were around here you had a panic attack and you didn¡¯t seem to fare much better after your personal training with Jin¡ªif the garden was anything to judge by.¡±

    I shoved my way past her. ¡°Leave me alone.¡± I made it all of five steps before memory and realization stopped me cold. I turned back around to face her. ¡°How did you know what you weren¡¯t supposed to do on the stairs? And why would you have any reason to worry about the training of my blessing with Jin?¡±

    The answer was obvious but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to voice it.

    Prevna, now that she knew I had put the pieces together, didn¡¯t have any such hesitation. ¡°Fellen told me. She¡ª¡±

    ¡°She had no right!¡±

    ¡°She was worried!¡± Prevna met me, glare for glare. ¡°But it wasn¡¯t like she could come here or talk to you after you hurt her!¡± The fury boiling in my stomach went cold and hard but raged just as ferociously as before. The change must have registered on my face because Prevna paled a little before pushing on. ¡°She didn¡¯t tell me what happened, but I could tell it wasn¡¯t good.¡± Then, as if she couldn¡¯t help it, ¡°Not that that was surprising.¡±

    The cold anger subsided just as quickly as it came once she clarified what she knew. Frustration was still ready to go, however. ¡°That still doesn¡¯t mean she had to tell you. You weren¡¯t a part of any of it!¡±

    ¡°Who else was she going to tell? She doesn¡¯t know Wren and I was close by.¡±

    I resisted the extremely childish impulse to stamp my foot, but only barely. ¡°She didn¡¯t have to tell anyone.¡±

    Prevna rolled her eyes. ¡°But she did.¡±

    ¡°And you shouldn¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re interesting, so apparently I do. I guess you¡¯re going to have to deal with that.¡±

    I just scowled at the path.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I snapped.

    I heard the smug smile in her voice as she spoke, ¡°See you at the midday meal. I¡¯ll make sure to sit extra close so I can hear all your grievances then.¡±

    She left and I didn¡¯t go back to the library. Wasn¡¯t in the mood for it. Wasn¡¯t in the mood for much of anything other than silently ranting about Fellen¡¯s stubborn idiocy. After what I did to her, she should have left me behind like useless waste¡ªnot find someone else, unwanted and unasked for, to stick their nose in my business. Not find someone else to care enough to try to help me. Someone I was bound to hurt, unintentionally or otherwise, simply because that was what I was best at.

 Book 2 - Ch. 14: Slow Growth

    The weeks passed by quickly again as I fit going to the garden and library into a new routine. I continued to get up early, but rather than spend most of the time exploring, I crossed the thin paths. Then I would lose an hour or so checking up on the plants, watering the ones that needed it, harvesting the plants that were ready. Some of the plants wouldn¡¯t have normally been in season, but I assumed the warmer temperature of the Seedling Palace allowed them to keep growing despite the snow covering the rest of Her territory. Sometimes I couldn¡¯t resist the need to take the mortar and pestle in hand or do other ingrained motions that would have contributed to healing but instead contributed to making a test poison. Not that I could actually try out the poisons on anything since I didn¡¯t want to risk my own health and ability to train, but the act was comforting. I was also limited by my need for fire, so more often than not I had to settle for preparing everything I could and leaving it at that, but other times frustration won and I would sneak down to the cook stones in the evening. It was difficult learning how to properly heat some of the plants and mixtures when I couldn¡¯t change how hot the stones were or cover everything in heated ash to have it cook evenly on all sides. That ruined more test poisons than anything else, though there were some, like the spiritflower and feverluck mixture, that simply didn¡¯t last long before expiring.

    Once I finished at the garden I would head to the library and read the Collection of Wishes Shawsh had recommended. Working my way through the archaic characters, punctuated at times by a helpfully detailed drawing, was laborious and slow going, but reading the new tales was worth it. Perhaps I should have hidden my reading ability from the librarian and Clara but the temptation of the stories was too great. Besides who were they really going to tell? The pair had such an insular feeling to them, and I only saw them in the library¡ªalready settled, never coming or going¡ªthat it was difficult to picture them ever going anywhere else even if, logically, I knew they had to.

    Clara was more of a fixture in the seedling library than I ever expected her to be given that she had permission to explore a significantly larger portion of the Seedling Palace as an older seedling. She seemed to have a fondness for the old librarian and his art, and indulged him with a patience that was never extended to the library¡¯s other visitors. I refrained from asking her about it, however, because the less I pressed her the less likely she would press me in turn. Besides, it wasn¡¯t my business and they never interrupted my studying. Clara seemed content to ignore me in favor of whatever scroll she was reading. Shawsh sometimes liked to chat about the scrolls and their history when I was trying to decide which one to attempt to read next and I did my best to be on my best behavior because he had a wealth of knowledge I hadn¡¯t heard before. I think, if he was ever put to the task, he could recite the writer, subject, major events and themes of every scroll in the library as well as historical events surrounding the writing of each scroll and its influences. They were as familiar to him as his own hands, if not more so.

    I would read up in one of the needle bed benches until I had to return the scroll before heading to the day¡¯s lessons. Those stayed steady and unchanging from the weeks before. Jin worked us hard and drilled more knowledge into our minds without hardly giving us a minute to breathe.

    There was no room for failing, for not being able to keep up. It wore on some of the cohort more than others. Dera, Wren, and surprisingly Ento seemed to struggle with the unrelenting pace. Dera struggled most with the physical lessons while Wren and Ento would fade by the afternoon¡¯s mental exercises. The constant physical conditioning in the morning wore on me as well, but Rawley¡¯s lessons had given me enough muscle to push through the exhaustion¡ªand I had years of experience to know how to deal with an unrelenting taskmaster. Ulo kept up the lessons, for now, but from what I could tell the earnest girl didn¡¯t know to pace herself. Every now and then she would snap a disgusted look in my direction when I was snatching a minute¡¯s break or not running at my top speed around the training area. I ignored her. Either she would burn out or she would learn that I wasn¡¯t doing anything wrong. It wasn¡¯t my problem and even if I felt like giving advice, she wouldn¡¯t have listened to me.

    The evenings I saved for time in my nook. Recalling and rehearsing lessons, myths, and weapon stances all needed to be taken care of, and I couldn¡¯t bring myself to sit through the boring and grueling experience of wasting time with the other seedlings. Yes, I was supposed to being getting to know the others ¡°as well as I knew myself¡±, but I didn¡¯t see why I couldn¡¯t do that simply through observation. It wasn¡¯t like any of them were particularly hard to read other than Juniper and Breck, and I had time to uncover their weaknesses. Prevna was a headache waiting to happen, but she made her intentions clear and bothered me enough that we probably passed Jin¡¯s expectations of knowing each other.

    However, despite not spending time with them, the others didn¡¯t miss that I had all my evenings free while they still had special training on a rotating schedule. Idra and Ento cornered me on the way to my nook after the evening¡¯s meal one night. Loclen tried to pass it off as something she wasn¡¯t particularly curious about when I returned to the dome another night while Nii listened in. And I heard Andhi, Wren, and Dera gossiping about it at the bathing pool when I went to clean up earlier than normal. They all wanted to know if I had somehow failed the blessing training or if I was hiding that my blessing was Named and I didn¡¯t need the training because there had already been generations before me to work out the kinks¡ªif only I could be so lucky. I neglected to answer their questions and, failingly that, they pressed for me to reveal exactly what my blessing was. I neglected to answer that too.

    All in all, that settled me as the outsider to the group¡ªeven more so than Breck who didn¡¯t seemed bothered to make friends with anyone, either. But she wasn¡¯t as brash and rude, apparently¡ªand still had the special lessons¡ªso I won the role of group delinquent. It wasn¡¯t unfamiliar, so I accepted the trite honor with little protest. Not that made it any easier for them to figure out how to treat me. Was I an annoying know-it-all who had too big of a head on her shoulders? Someone to be given respect and deference because of the secret Named blessing I might have and the trial mark on my chin? An antisocial failure to be ignored and dismissed?

    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    No one guessed an ex-healer¡¯s daughter who couldn¡¯t die but that was the point of not telling them, so I couldn¡¯t really judge them for the failure. Prevna didn¡¯t help matters, either. The others started to prod her for answers once they realized she was the one who spent the most time around me, relatively speaking, and for some confounding reason she refused to tell them what she knew. Instead she had fun leading them on a goose chase of conjecture and sarcasm without ever fully touching on the truth. I think at one point she had Andhi hooked on the idiotic idea that I was some Echo¡¯s illicit child, given a wonderful blessing but unable to ever truly connect with others in case they found out about my true heritage. I got a lot of pitying looks that week. Still, I waited for her to get bored and finally break the more mundane truth.

    In the meantime, after two months at the Seedling Palace, Jin declared that she had enough of the training platform. By the next day she had roped together a handful of older seedlings¡ªSprouts¡ªwho had drank the shadows to help take us to the grassland around the Seedling Palace. I was startled to see Clara among them while she just looked disgruntled to be pulled away from her scrolls.

    The Sprouts had a varied success rate. Some brought their charge down to the grass between the Palace¡¯s roots, as intended, but on the wrong side of the grove while others ended up miles away and had to make a second attempt. Only two or three, the more experienced Sprouts, managed to take their passenger within a few minutes walk of where Jin waited. Clara was one of them. She brought Idra down and then returned and took me. We waited another uneasy fifteen minutes under Jin¡¯s implacable gaze for everyone to arrive.

    The cold air was like a slap in the face after the constant temperature I had gotten used to. The give and crunch of snow underfoot was a comfort simply because how refreshing it was to be surrounded by something so normal. I felt my thoughts clear and my focus sharpen the more I took in the familiar environment, only offset by the gigantic roots breaking into the ground around us. One of them blocked the view of First Shore Lake, or at least the wall along its edge, so all that was left to focus on was snow and sky and the trees towering overhead.

    Jin talked to Clara and the two other Sprouts who had brought their two charges off to the side as we waited. At one point, Clara glanced over with a devious smile. My guard shot up and I had to restrain myself from stepping closer to make out what was being said. Breck, brought by one of the others, also noticed the smile and shifted in place. Idra and Ento were busying murmuring to each other while Juniper stared off at the branches blocking out the sky above us. Ulo and Nii were exchanging details about their trips through the shadow paths. Perhaps not unexpectedly, this was only the second time they had been allowed to look when brought along. When we had each been brought to the Calling Road when we were young, we had been required to wear blindfolds as the shadow paths were thought to be too much for regular tribes folk.

    When everyone finally arrived, Jin took in the two loose groups of seedlings and Sprouts with her cool, commanding gaze. Despite the fact that she still only wore her light weight robe over her dress and no shoes covered her feet our mentor didn¡¯t seem to notice to the cold. Instead, her gaze sparked with anticipation and a small smile curled her lips as she stretched the moments of waiting to their breaking point.

    Then she clapped sharply and an oddly darkened forest sprung into existence behind her. It was full of shadows and scraggly brush that seemed designed to trip up feet as it thrust through the snow. Nor did it help that the entire illusion was covered in true shadow from branches overhead. The forest also had the sounds of a regular forest: brushing needles, bird calls, and the scampering of squirrels.

    Jin held up a nondescript circular brown token. ¡°It¡¯s time for Hunter¡¯s Quarry. The premise is simple: rack up the most points to win within a three hour time limit. You¡¯ll be able to find these tokens in the forest; each one is worth ten points. Stepping outside the forest¡¯s boundaries means instant disqualification as does striking any blow that could cause permanent or lethal damage.¡±

    She made a show of tossing the token over her shoulder and into the forest behind her. ¡°However, that¡¯s not the only way to earn points. You will be broken into three teams: Sprouts vs two groups of seedlings. Loclen, Andhi, Nii, Juniper, and Idra will be one team and Ento, Ulo, Dera, Wren, and Prevna will make up the other.¡± I didn¡¯t miss that Breck and I had been conveniently left out or the way Jin¡¯s gaze cut into me when she continued, ¡°Seedlings, capture a Sprout and hold them until time runs out and you¡¯ll earn fifty points. Capture Gimley or Breck and, seedlings or Sprouts, you¡¯ll earn a hundred fifty points per girl. They are not a team. Since they¡¯re cocky enough to think they can do everything on their own we¡¯ll have them prove it.¡±

    My mouth opened in protest against the unfair challenge, but I firmly shut it. She wanted to humiliate me by pitching me against six Sprouts with mostly unknown blessings and my cohort?

    Fine. I would just prove myself like she said.

    Jin pulled out colored headbands from a new bag tied to her waist I hadn¡¯t paid much attention to. Blue for the first seedling team, grayish purple for the second, and green for the Sprouts. Breck and I were given nothing, nor was anyone given a sack to put the tokens we would be collecting into. Apparently, that was a problem we were supposed to solve ourselves. Luckily, I had a couple small mostly empty pouches tied to my belt. There wasn¡¯t much need to carry around herbs or bandages in the Seedling Palace, just as there hadn¡¯t been after I cut off my healer¡¯s beads, but I kept the habit of having the pouches all the same. It felt more balanced to have them there with my eating knife, sling, bag of stones, water pouch, and the empty poisoner¡¯s pouch.

    It didn¡¯t take long for everyone to put the headbands on, but there was some bickering over who got to be each team¡¯s leader. Clara was granted the honor for the Sprouts for unclear reasons as well as a twenty five point bonus in addition to the original fifty should she get captured.

    Eventually, Juniper and Wren earned the right to be captain for their respective groups. There wasn¡¯t a benefit to capturing them, or any of the other seedlings, irritatingly enough. Breck and I were the clear prizes of the game.

    And our only recourse was to somehow collect more tokens than what five or six people could gather together or capture multiple Sprouts, a feat that was bound to be difficult even with a team. Jin turned to Breck and me.

    ¡°You get a five minute head start.¡±

    We ran.

 Book 2 - Ch. 15: Misfits Gambit

    The forest wasn¡¯t large. I probably could have walked from one side to the other in ten minutes and it made an abnormally perfect square. Hiding wouldn¡¯t be a particularly helpful option for long unless I was thorough about it.

    Which was how I wasted my first five minutes before scrambling up one of the trees on the very outskirts of the forest. Breck had peeled away from me as soon as we entered the forest, charging like a boar into its depths, and I hoped she would prove to be an apt distraction. As it was, I had hesitated over the concern that illusion trees might not hold my weight before I decided the brush on the ground wouldn¡¯t be nearly enough to hide me. It was odd to see the occasional bush that didn¡¯t look like it was quite touching the snowy ground while at the same time it impeded my steps and caught on my cloak. Knowing that it was an illusion didn¡¯t change anything except make the whole experience more annoying.

    That cost me my first minute, getting to the northern edge of the forest and climbing a slim tree took the other four. I tucked myself up as close as I could to the tree¡¯s peak with the thought that the others¡¯ might think the tree didn¡¯t look sturdy enough to support anyone. It wasn¡¯t a perfect solution, but it was the best I could come up with when I was short on both time and resources.

    I wanted time to think. Time to assess what I had, what I needed to do, what I knew of the others, and how to turn the situation in my favor. Instinct never boded well for me, especially not in the short term. And if I was going to face off against several groups who had the advantage in numbers and combined skill, then knowledge could only help me.

    Team Blue, such as it was, was more than likely to have trouble all its own. Loclen and Andhi seemed to have some dislike for each other that came from before we were brought to the Seedling Palace; not to mention the feud Nii and Idra had been brewing ever since we shared our blessings. Juniper could likely force them past those issues, for a time at least, but she was younger than the others and I didn¡¯t get the sense she was close to Idra despite them spending nearly all their time together. She didn¡¯t have a rock to base her authority on. Unless, perhaps, she revealed why Idra and Ento deferred to her, but that had the potential to be a very tribe specific thing and not have the power to pull the others into doing the same. There was also the fact that, undoubtedly, Idra and Ento were accustomed to working as a team and now they had been ripped apart from each other and placed on opposing sides. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if Team Blue fell into bickering and became fractured by the number of strong personalities on their team.

    Team Purple, on the other hand, had the opposite problem. Rather than fighting over a handful of options strongly backed by each individual, they would likely struggle with a lack of leadership and clear options. Wren was well liked but she didn¡¯t seem well versed in making quick tactical decisions or enforcing discipline like Juniper was. Ulo, Ento, and Prevna would likely have some clear opinions on what actions they should take, but I wasn¡¯t sure they would voice them. Ulo and Ento seemed on the reticent side of things and Prevna had a habit of complicating matters rather than simplifying them. Dera was an unknown quantity, as far as I was concerned. I knew that she was quick with numbers from lessons, that Wren liked her, and that she had a submissive quality about her. Her bone shaping blessing was powerful, but it wasn¡¯t immediately clear how it could be helpful in this challenge unless she used it to help bind captured Sprouts.

    Breck was powerful in her own right, especially when it came to weapons and fighting, but that also didn¡¯t necessarily translate well into succeeding in this game. She could go solely after the Sprouts, but that would be an uphill battle in the best circumstances. She did have the advantage of not wasting time discussing plans with teammates, and perhaps she was better at finding things than I thought, but overall she and I were stuck in the same bad position. She could have also gone after me as soon as we entered the forest, but from her actions she had either not considered that option or thought her odds were better if she came after me later into the game. After all, if I was to capture her, I¡¯d rather have to hold her against the others for ten minutes than three hours.

    The clear favorites and biggest unknowns of the game were the Sprouts. I had little opportunity to learn about Team Green, but by definition of their station I knew they hadn¡¯t learned all of the whisper women¡¯s boons yet. Also, from the looks of it, none of them had the precision with shadow walking that Hana had displayed in Flickermark. Taking into account what I knew of Jin¡¯s lessons and Clara¡¯s disregard for anything but Shawsh and her scrolls, it didn¡¯t take such a leap of logic to conclude that these were Sprouts who also needed a lesson in discipline or teamwork or some other thing Jin thought whisper women were supposed to excel at. It would be interesting to see how much command Clara held over her cohort.

    As for myself¡ª

    I softened my breath and did my best not to scuff the tree and send a telltale sprinkling of needles and bark down onto the Sprout crunching through the undergrowth. She was muttering to herself and didn¡¯t seem to care enough to even spit in the direction of stealth. Perhaps she had earned the right for that disregard, however, given the swarm of sparks slowly swirling around her. They didn¡¯t set the trees and brush on fire, which was odd, but I put it down to her control over her blessing or the illusion. She paused a few trees down from where I perched and fished a token out from a dense thicket of brush before continuing on without any sign of noticing me. The illusion brush seemed to spring back into place after you passed by rather than show an easily identifiable sign of passage of broken twigs and disturbed snow.

    I cursed the easy missed points even as I breathed a sigh of relief. I was in no position to go up against someone who could summon a swarm of flame. I had the items on my belt, my clothes, and my knowledge. And I doubted that the water in my waterskin would be enough to douse a few, if any, of her flames.

    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

    Just like it was doubtful that I could win this game within its boundaries. It was clear that Jin planned for Breck and I to lose and learn the benefits of humility and teamwork, and I wouldn¡¯t put it past her to nudge things even more in that direction with her illusion if she could do it in a way that wouldn¡¯t undercut her message. Who was to say that all the tokens weren¡¯t just appearing near the Sprouts? Besides, one person against eleven seedlings and six Sprouts? Nothing about that premise was designed to allow me or Breck to win, especially with the points being so skewed. The others were supposed to be drawn after us before pummeling us into submission. Scavenging tokens would become more difficult as the game wore on and wouldn¡¯t likely give me the edge I needed to win all on its own. Not with the amount of people I was set up against.

    Fine.

    That simplified things. If I couldn¡¯t win within the limits of the game then I would simply work around them. I glanced over at the bare snow outside of the illusion forest as a thoughtful smirk curled my lips. If the fact that there was too many people against me was one of the main problems, then the obvious solution was to whittle down the opponent¡¯s numbers.

    It would be nice if I could make some of the traps Rawley had taught me but I didn¡¯t have any rope or twine or a good two pronged stick that was helpful for setting most of them. That was something I¡¯d have to rectify in the future. Perhaps I could¡ª

    Chirp zipped by.

    That¡¯s when I realized stopping to think was an instinct all its own. My legs twitched, caught between the desire to run after being discovered and acting on the plan that was beginning to form at the sight of the little bird. Chirp let out a warble and turned back, presumably to get a better look at me. I undid the tie on my cloak.

    Chirp let out a happy trill when he recognized me and made for my shoulder before he seemed to remember that we weren¡¯t on the same side. The little bird didn¡¯t remember in time. I swept my cloak from my shoulders and into the air over him. Quick, angry chirps emitted from the cloak as I jerked the ends together into a makeshift bag. He aimed for a gap in the ends I hadn¡¯t got to yet and I felt a brief moment of victory as I yanked it closed.

    Branches rushed by as I fell from overbalancing. I yelped before I curled protectively around my cloak while sticking out my free hand to try to slow my fall or catch hold of a passing branch. I couldn¡¯t let Chirp go just so he could zip back to Wren and tell her of my whereabouts and I what had done. But I was also very aware that hurting the bird would have no good outcomes.

    I hit the ground with a dull thump, arms covered in thin scratches. The snow covered ground and illusion brush had broken my fall. I lay on my back, stunned and trying to regain my breath for a handful of aching moments, before I had the presence of mind to notice to ominous quiet and stillness coming from inside my cloak. I closed my eyes and desperately prayed to nothing in particular that Chirp wasn¡¯t dead. When I opened them again I carefully sat up with a soft groan before peeking inside the cloak.

    An explosion of feathers and berating chirps greeted me as Chirp tried to force himself through the small hole. I quickly clasped it shut again, but I could still hear muffled chirps through the thick fabric. I sighed.

    I never thought I would take a bird hostage. Or feel the oil slick feeling of guilt sliding around my ribs because I had done so. Nor did it help with how happy he had been to see me just before I captured him. Well, there was no one to see and despite his chirps being muffled they could bring unwanted attention. Better to be¡­cautious.

    ¡°Sorry, Chirp. You shouldn¡¯t have to be in there long. Wren¡¯ll notice you didn¡¯t return soon.¡± I remembered how keen he was about keeping his feathers straight and perfectly puffed. ¡°I¡¯ll¡­I¡¯ll preen you later or something if you settle down, alright?¡±

    I felt a bit idiotic bargaining with a bird, especially when I wasn¡¯t sure he could understand me. He didn¡¯t settle down right away. He chattered for a bit longer, though the angry tone seemed to have diminished, before letting out a final warble and hopping around inside the cloak. Then he stilled and I settled behind the wide trunk of a tree, shivering in the cold. I hoped Wren noticed his absence soon like I said. Climbing up a tree was impossible while I had to hold the cloak closed and the brush was too brittle to use as makeshift twine, even if I wanted to test using an illusion to hold an actual object closed. For all I knew, as soon as I tried to change the brush from the original illusion it could break or stop being solid or do something else odd and unpredictable.

    So, instead, I huddled at the base of a tree and tried to decide what I would do when Wren came for her bird. I didn¡¯t want to hurt him or think about her reaction if I threatened to do so, but it was difficult to come up with any other threats that would get her to do what I wanted. Perhaps threatening to withhold Chirp and keep him in the cloak would be enough? It wasn¡¯t exactly the best environment for a bird and I could say that he would blame her for keeping him in there longer and maybe play up the question of teamwork since that was what this whole stupid competition was about. Either way, there was little doubt this would put me on Wren¡¯s bad side.

    I held in a sigh and shivered from the cold.

    Her smile was a lot more appealing than her scowl. Maybe I could soften my delivery? Let her know it was nothing personal? I just needed to show that just because I was on my own, I wasn¡¯t helpless. I wasn¡¯t stupid. I knew that teamwork had its benefits¡ªeveryone in the tribe had to work together to survive, after all¡ªbut I didn¡¯t appreciate someone trying to forcefully shove me into it. Better to show that I could do my part without needing to get caught up in all the extra bits. That way everyone could benefit and I didn¡¯t have to worry about taking anyone down with me if, to use Jin¡¯s metaphor, my tree was toppled in a storm. So perhaps I could use this situation to encourage Wren to keep her distance from me without irrevocably hurting her.

    After a while I got up to stealthily look for tokens in the area. Better to use movement to stay warm and possibly make some progress at the same time then waste more time fumbling over the same thing in my mind. I found two tokens by the time Wren came calling for Chirp.

 Book 2 - Ch. 16: Hunters Quarry

    I never got to bargain with Wren to get her to forfeit in exchange for Chirp¡¯s release. Instead, the little bird began to struggle vehemently as soon as he heard Wren¡¯s voice, as if he could break through the thick fabric with sheer force of will. I had to cling to the cloak to make sure he didn¡¯t get lucky and jerk a corner free and form a perfect little escape opening. I was so focused on Chirp and Wren¡¯s crunching steps that I didn¡¯t know what happened next until after fact.

    Suddenly, I was face down in the snow with a heavy weight leaning down on top of me and Chirp was fluttering free with loud calls to his mistress. Twisting my head to one side I spat out a mouthful of snow and glared at the girl pinning me down.

    Loclen shrugged one shoulder but was careful to keep her knee dug into my back and and her grip tight on the arm she was pulling behind me. ¡°Should¡¯ve looked up.¡±

    I rolled away from her and into the direction of the arm she was pinning, wrenching it from her grasp. She cursed and scrambled after me as I shot to my feet and ran. Ran like the Ghost Winds themselves were chasing after me. The pain in my wrenched shoulder didn¡¯t matter nor did the shivers coursing through my body or my abandoned cloak. The only thing that mattered was my refusal to be captured less than an hour into the game. Loclen had the advantage of a longer stride but I wasn¡¯t about to run in a straight line and let her catch up to me. I darted through the trees and each time I felt her hand brush against my arm or back I managed to put on a spurt of energy before she could get a true hold on me.

    The air tasted frigid and clear as I forced myself to keep going. I knew I couldn¡¯t run forever, but I also didn¡¯t have any other decent plans. Unless¡­unless I took a gamble and did a variation on my original one. Chancing a glance over my shoulder, I saw Loclen was a handful of steps behind me and Wren a good distance behind her. Well, better one than two.

    I sped back toward the edge of the forest before weaving among the trees closest to the undisturbed snow beyond. As I rounded a particularly wide tree I saw my chance and took it. Skidding to a halt, I positioned my shoulder before ramming into Loclen as she rounded the tree a bare couple seconds later. She stumbled to the side, gasping for breath at the unexpected hit, and I pressed my newfound advantage, shoving her further to the side until she stumbled over her own feet and landed on her butt in the snow beyond the trees.

    She sniffed proudly. ¡°You¡¯ll pay for this.¡±

    Then the foliage between us exploded into rapid growth until I couldn¡¯t see her through the press of pine branches and tall bushes. I blinked at the unexpected boon as I struggled to bring my own breath back under control. Knowing I didn¡¯t have the time to stand and stare, I made my way to the lowest hanging branch, purposefully scuffing my feet and taking random extra steps, before using it to clamber up higher into the dense new growth.

    Wren burst into the space I had surprised Loclen before I had climbed four branches. She slowed to a halt, clearly recognizing that the footprints in the snow stopped. Then she twisted and turned about as she tried to figure out what had happened. I was surprised to see that Chirp wasn¡¯t with her. After he told her about his capture I had been sure the other girl wouldn¡¯t let him out of her sight. Then her hair shifted as she kept investigating and I saw the little bird snuggled up against her neck. I relaxed slightly. I didn¡¯t like that his sharp eyes were so close, but he seemed focus on getting comfort after his trial in the cloak and knowing where he was, was better than worrying about him popping up out of nowhere again.

    As I watched, Wren didn¡¯t seem able to make sense of the footprints under the thick undergrowth. She made several circuits around where the footprints stopped before she stopped where she had begun with crossed arms and a frown. Then her gaze caught on the numerous branches above before sliding down to the lowest hanging branch. Wren strode purposefully for it.

    I froze. Of course she would go for that branch. None of the rest were easily reachable. Cursing Jin for what was obviously a simple trap in hindsight, my mind raced through my options. I didn¡¯t think Wren knew where I was yet, but she would find out soon enough once she climbed a branch or two. If I moved she¡¯d find out sooner than that, but if I didn¡¯t she would be blocking the easiest way to leave the tree. Sure, I could try to drop out of some other part of the tree and risk a twisted ankle, I just wasn¡¯t keen about accidentally throwing the rest of the challenge in the attempt to escape one girl. Besides, I had already fallen out of a tree once today; I didn¡¯t need to do it again.

    Wren reached the bottom of the tree.

    I needed to move. Up or down? If I went up perhaps she would follow and I could circle back around to the low hanging branch. Wren climbed up onto the low branch and I climbed up onto the one above my head. Barking chirps and the sound of fast fluttering wings exploded from behind me. Then something soft and warm plopped onto my head. I glared up at Chirp as he landed on a branch just out of reach and bobbed triumphantly with chortling calls. Guffawing laughter burst out from below and I looked down to find Wren clutching a branch, occasionally slapping it in mirth as she laughed, warm and rich.

    I scowled down at her, any intent to flee forgotten for a moment. ¡°This isn¡¯t funny.¡±

    She glanced up as some of the warm mass dribbled down the side of my head before bending back over the branch, laughter redoubled. Finally, she calmed enough to gasp out, ¡°He¡­he hasn¡¯t done that since Simmon ruined the nest he made when I was ten.¡±

    I didn¡¯t have a good answer to that, so instead I kept quiet and tried to hide the uncertainty wriggling around in my chest. Did I still need to run? She didn¡¯t seem as angry as I had assumed she would be over Chirp¡¯s capture, but she was also on an opposing team who would win a lot of points if I was captured. I still didn¡¯t like the thought of dropping out of another tree, however.

    Chirp fluttered back down to Wren, talking at her the whole way. She absently stroked his head a few times when he landed on her shoulders and quieted the last of her laughter. Wren flashed me a slyly amused grin. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have captured him or promised him a reward. He holds grudges better than I do. He¡¯ll be demanding treats and pets from you without reservation for years now.¡±

    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t promise to give him treats!¡±

    Wren snorted as Chirp took up a long winded rant. Wren bopped him on the head several times with a finger before he settled back into a disgruntled silence. ¡°Unless you can put up with that for hours I think this little glutton will get his treats. Sleet beetles are his favorite.¡± Her gaze shifted back to the way we had come. ¡°Why¡¯d you even capture him?¡±

    I drew in a breath and let it out slowly. ¡°Are you stalling?¡±

    She flinched and that was all the answer I needed. Uncomfortable fall or no, I refused to be caught. I scrambled down away from her even as Wren cursed and tried to hurry after me. It would have been smarter for her to jump down off the low branch and circle around, but instinct isn¡¯t always logical and I didn¡¯t feel like ruining luck¡¯s small favors by pointing out the mistake to her.

    I hung down from the lowest branch I could reach just as Chirp fluttered about in front of my face and Wren landed on the branch next to mine. I dropped. Brush scraped against my hands and face as I rolled, but nothing pinched painfully. I stumbled as I rose, the cold slowing my movements, and in that moment I knew I shouldn¡¯t forgo wearing a cloak much longer. I might not die, but I could lose without it.

    I dashed back to where I remembered my cloak lay fallen in the snowy brush. Someone leaped out from behind a taller bush, but I was past before they had a chance to touch me.

    Then the wooden end of a spear whacked me across the chest. I went down. Ulo looked her nose at me as she flipped the spear around and held its point an inch from my throat. She never went anywhere without the thing it seemed like.

    Ulo didn¡¯t look up when she spoke, ¡°Got her.¡±

    Dera softly walked around to my other side after I heard her pick herself up off the ground. She had my cloak held in her arms. I held still as she knelt and clasped it back around my throat, mindful of the spear even though I knew Ulo wasn¡¯t allowed to make in truly terrible blows. I wouldn¡¯t put it past her to just bash me over the head with it, given the amount of scornful looks she¡¯d directed my way over the past few weeks. I really wished I had a secret pocket with a weapon sewed into the cloak I could use at that point, as Dera hesitantly untied my sling, pouch of stones, and eating knife from my belt before tucking them away into the pouches on her belt. I did try to stop her then but Ulo kicked me in the side and I couldn¡¯t do much more than gasp for breath and curl around the pain.

    Wren called out, ¡°Careful!¡± before she reached us with puffing breath a few moments later. Then, to Dera, ¡°Can you use your bone shaping to hold her?¡±

    Dera tucked some hair behind her ear that was already mostly in place. ¡°Sure.¡±

    Chirp twittered as Wren and Ulo kept me in place while Dera shifted my cloak out of the way before bringing my arms behind my back. I suffered the indignity with a sullen expression while I furiously tried to make plans to break out of it. Force seemed liked my best bet, but Wren had a hold of my braid and a good grip one shoulder while Ulo looked like she was just waiting for an excuse to use her spear again. I don¡¯t know why she had such a grudge against me, we had never really spoken to each other, but perhaps it had to do with the fact that she always gave me dark looks when she thought I wasn¡¯t putting enough effort into training.

    Something cool and dry grew around my wrists as Dera used her blessing to shape a few bone pieces she pressed against my skin. Just to be contrary, I tried to pull my wrists free of the bone shackle but it didn¡¯t budge.

    Wren told Chirp to get Ento and Prevna to return to ¡°base¡±. I never got to learn what their base was. A few minutes into a forced march the Sprout with a fire swarm found us. She quickly overwhelmed the other three with painful sparks that weren¡¯t hot enough to scar, forcing them the ground. She had me by the elbow when Idra and Nii struck. They must have been arguing nearby and heard the shouts.

    The fire swarm couldn¡¯t come in a ten foot radius around Idra. An invisible barrier seemed to hold them at bay. Nii stayed close to Idra and used the odd cover to ignore the sparks while throwing her needles. One dug into the meat between the Sprout¡¯s thumb and forefinger on the hand that was holding me, forcing her to let me go. Another struck her just above the knee but didn¡¯t seem to sink in as much as Nii wanted. I didn¡¯t notice more about the attack after that other than the fact that Wren and her group seemed to join back into the fray.

    I ran.

    Now that my hands were bound with bone I couldn¡¯t ignore the impossible odds of the contest. I wouldn¡¯t even be able to pick up a token if I found one, though the more likely possibility of being captured again loomed in my mind.

    I wouldn¡¯t stand for it.

    Better to be disqualified than be torn from hand to hand like an ill used pouch of fermented sweet grass.

    I stumbled out from the illusion forest and fell to my knees in the undisturbed snow. My face and throat burned at the failure, at the indignity and embarrassment of it. I was supposed to be better than this. I was supposed to be proving myself. Instead in this last failure, in a whole string of them, all I had managed to do was get scratched up and chased around like a pathetic rabbit.

    When I looked up, I realized I had left the forest on the same side I had entered it. Jin didn¡¯t make any movement of acknowledgment to show she noticed me. Instead, she stood with her eyes closed, bare feet pressed into the snow and her light robe slipping off her shoulder again. She didn¡¯t shiver from the cold and I felt a pang of envy stab through me. My arms still weren¡¯t completely warmed up from their time in the cold air.

    Loclen glared at me from her spot sitting next to Breck and¡­Clara. I blinked. Wasn¡¯t she supposed to be the leader of the Sprout team? Somehow, now that I had abandoned the game, all the truly big point earners could no longer be caught.

    I was about to sit on Jin¡¯s other side when Breck muttered, ¡°Took you long enough.¡±

    Unable to ignore that comment I shifted and moved to sit slightly apart from the group but now in a spot where my view of the three wouldn¡¯t be impeded by our mentor¡¯s legs.

    I narrowed my eyes at the other girl. ¡°What was that supposed to mean?¡±

    She drew out her eating knife, flipped it in the air, and then used it to point at my bone shackle. ¡°Thought you were smart enough not to fight battles you can¡¯t win.¡±

    Clara snorted and glanced over from the small slate she was sketching on. ¡°Smart enough, maybe, but smarts barely ever holds a fire to stubbornness.¡±

    That was scarily insightful for a girl who didn¡¯t seem to notice me when we were in the library together. I made a mental note to pay better attention to her.

    Loclen cut in, ¡°You didn¡¯t have to push me out if you were going to run out yourself.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to¡ª¡±

    Jin interrupted me with a click of her tongue as one hand flicked sideways in dismissal. ¡°Squabble elsewhere.¡±

    Loclen rose with an annoyed huff and Breck stood after her, a bored expression already settling over her features. I rose as well but with some awkwardness as I couldn¡¯t use my hands to help push up off the ground or keep my balance. Clara didn¡¯t move.

    When we eyed her, she looked only looked up from her drawing briefly to state, ¡°I¡¯m not squabbling.¡±

    And that was the end of that.

 Book 2 - Ch. 17: Promises

    Breck took the lead without so much as a glance to check if anyone else wanted the position. She obviously didn¡¯t think Loclen or I had the capability to pick a sufficient spot for us to bicker in. Not that there was much option between one patch of snow covered ground and another.

    It was odd being alone with the two of them. Neither had the type of personality that found satisfaction in forcing their presence on someone else and I wasn¡¯t exactly inclined to seek them out either. Sure, Loclen had been worried about my sudden disappearance after that ill-fated blessing practice, but I definitely wasn¡¯t on her good side right now. Breck was more difficult to read, but it wasn¡¯t difficult to guess after her tone a few minutes before that she wasn¡¯t feeling any more kind-hearted towards me.

    Which was why it was an extra shock when she abruptly stopped striding through the snow to declare, ¡°I¡¯m going to sneak into the arena. I heard whoever is marked with a red line down their nose can¡¯t refuse a challenge.¡±

    Loclen asked what was on both our minds, incredulous, ¡°Why? And why tell us?¡±

    Breck turned on her heel to face us. Jin thinks we can¡¯t do anything on our own. I¡¯m going to prove her wrong.¡±

    It was the most words I had ever heard her string together. But that didn¡¯t mean I followed her logic. ¡°She¡¯s still going to make us play Hunter¡¯s Quarry again if we don¡¯t start¡­cozying up to everyone after this.¡±

    Breck didn¡¯t look remotely shaken at facing impossible odds again. ¡°So? I¡¯ll be prepared then. Our abilities are in question now. Our pride.¡± Then her eyes widened slightly as if some terrible thought had just occurred to her. ¡°Or are you satisfied with taking the loss?¡±

    ¡°Of course not!¡± The words snapped out before I had a chance to actually think about them. It didn¡¯t take the most observant person in a tribe to understand the implication hidden behind her question. How could I, someone who had made a bigger fool of myself than her, stand to take the loss and insult when she already felt the need to answer the insult she had been dealt?

    Loclen cast a critical look over both of us. ¡°Do you even know how to get to the arena? I doubt they¡¯ll let seedlings just wander in and do whatever they want.¡±

    Breck focused on her. ¡°I found a way and as long as I challenge a person with a red mark right away what they¡¯ll allow or won¡¯t allow shouldn¡¯t matter.¡±

    That sounded as flimsy as the plans I had come up with in the illusion forest, but I was also tired of Jin¡¯s exercises of forced teamwork and her looks that sometimes strayed a little too close to her favorite look of disappointment. If I was going to work with anyone it was going to be to spite her, not because she wanted it. I could use Breck¡¯s knowledge and then prove my own abilities on my own terms, whether that was at the arena or after. Besides, this would be a good opportunity to learn more about my cohort¡¯s skills. It never hurt to gain more insight.

    My lips curled up into something that was more smirk than smile. ¡°When do you want to go?¡±

    Breck¡¯s normally bland expression broke into an accomplice¡¯s smile. ¡°Tomorrow evening. All of us should be free then.¡±

    Of course. Tomorrow evening was when my blessing training was scheduled, but since it had been indefinitely canceled Jin hadn¡¯t moved up the rest of the sessions. Now everyone enjoyed an evening free of obligations while casting me suspicion looks if I happened to pass by.

    Breck turned back to Loclen. ¡°Are you brave enough to come?¡±

    Loclen snorted. ¡°I¡¯m going if she is. She owes me.¡±

    My chin lifted. If she thought she had a spitting chance of beating me in a challenge, she could storms well try. I had more training with weapons than her and we had already proven I was quicker on my feet. And that was beside the fact that I couldn¡¯t suffer another loss. Because if I did, I wouldn¡¯t be able to ignore my sister¡¯s insidious little voice in the back of my head for much longer.

    ¡°Maybe you should think about what happens to those who don¡¯t make it through the Seedling Palace. Those who don¡¯t become whisper women.¡±

    It had only been two months. Her words didn¡¯t matter. Not yet, anyway. I could still prove myself and show that I learned quickly and well. I could show that I deserved a place here.

    I didn¡¯t say any of that though. Instead, I kept my chin raised while giving Loclen a smug look and was rewarded when she flushed with anger. That was a game, in particular, that I would never lose.

    - -

    We trudged back to Jin when we saw the illusion forest fade away at the end of the three hours. Her face was strained and tired when we reached her, but that did nothing to lessen the authority in her voice. The Sprouts were victorious, despite not having a leader, which wasn¡¯t surprising to anyone but I saw a few more furious and disappointed faces among the seedlings than I expected. It seemed we weren¡¯t going to take the loss laying down, nor did I doubt that the next time we played this particular game the Sprouts would find it a much tougher experience to win.

    Dera found me at the back of the group. She gave me a meek but proud smile as she brushed my cloak aside before she reshaped the bone around my wrists back into a single smooth lump. Once that was put away, she pulled out my belt pouches and eating knife, and handed them back to me. I didn¡¯t say anything to her. It wasn¡¯t like I had any intention of reinforcing her knowledge that she was blessed with both unique looks and a strong ability that she would never even need to consider hiding.

    For her part, Dera did work up the guts to ask something when she stepped back. ¡°Do you want to join us at the bathing pool when we get back?¡±

    I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and distaste. Why would I want to spend more time with the people who defeated me? Make it easy for them to try to pry into my life and knowledge?

    Then she touched the left side of her head, near the top, looking faintly embarrassed, and I suddenly couldn¡¯t ignore the scratchy, sticky feeling of bird poop congealing in my hair any longer. The reminder was enough to push it from background irritation to a pressing embarrassment that needed to be taken care of right away.

    I felt my neck and ears burn as I looked to the side. ¡°Who¡¯s ¡®we¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± She glanced over her shoulder. ¡°Probably Wren and Prevna and I. Sometimes Loclen or Nii and Andhi join us too, but I don¡¯t know if they will tonight.¡±

    I forced myself to look straight at her. ¡°I can go later.¡±

    She gave me another soft, awkward smile. ¡°If you want. But I think that¡¯s going to be harder to get out the longer it sits.¡± Dera started to turn away before she hesitated and turned back. ¡°I just thought it¡¯d be easier for you join us, since you get along with Prevna so well, rather than chancing joining the others to get that out. You could always go to the other end of the pool.¡±

    I could sit on the other side of the pool. It was probably the best option I had, because I don¡¯t think I could stand to have Chirp¡¯s revenge hardening in my hair for the next handful hours while I waited for everyone else to be done bathing.

    ¡°You¡¯re going right away?¡±

    Dera nodded. ¡°Sure.¡±

    I shifted, trying to hide my discomfort and the part of me shrieking that this wasn¡¯t a good idea. ¡°I might be there.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± She left me then, a bit more confidence steadying her step.

    I held back a sigh and hoped I hadn¡¯t just made another mistake.

    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

    - -

    Clara brought Idra and me back to the seedling area before disappearing promptly back into the shadow. Prevna ambushed me as soon as I re-emerged from my dome, change of clothes in hand.

    ¡°I thought Dera got the names mixed up when she said you would be joining us.¡± She leaning back against the dome, right next to the entrance, as if it was hers rather than the yellow one two over.

    I didn¡¯t pause as I continued forward. ¡°I don¡¯t need an escort.¡±

    She shrugged as she fell into step beside me and I saw she already had her own change of clothes in hand. ¡°What made you give in? Dera¡¯s big brown eyes or the chance to be close to Wren?¡±

    ¡°Maybe I wanted to talk to you.¡±

    She scoffed. ¡°As if. You wish I wasn¡¯t within talking distance.¡±

    I gave her a dry look.

    Prevna winked. ¡°Fortunately for you, I don¡¯t care so you¡¯ll never forget what a conversation is like.¡±

    ¡°I could do without.¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°So, which was it?¡±

    ¡°Neither. Besides, do you really think I¡¯d want to talk to Wren after she captured me and her bird did this?¡± I gestured to the mess in my hair.

    ¡°You deserved it.¡± Prevna looked thoughtful. ¡°Dera, then? I didn¡¯t think she¡¯d be your type.¡±

    I let out a long, irritated breath through my nose. ¡°She¡¯s not.¡± I interrupted her as she opened her mouth to say something else to get under my skin, ¡°Why can¡¯t I just want to wash my hair?¡±

    Prevna¡¯s mouth twisted up into a sly smile. ¡°You tell me. We both know you would have waited if that¡¯s all you wanted.¡±

    My jaw clenched. ¡°Shut up.¡±

    She shrugged one shoulder, entirely unrepentant about her little jibes. ¡°What? You gave it to me.¡±

    I didn¡¯t give her the satisfaction of protesting further. She¡¯d just twist whatever I said to her own ends. I really did just want to wash my hair. And learn about what happened during the rest of the game. My curiosity wasn¡¯t content to leave it as a void of knowledge, especially since what I learned could be helpful for the next time we played Hunter¡¯s Quarry. I didn¡¯t want to be such easy prey next time.

    We reached the bathing pool first. I tried to sit on my own on the far side of the pool after I got in, but Prevna followed, making comments the whole way. So, I did my best to ignore her as I tried to pick and soak the bird poop out my hair. The water was cool and refreshing, and felt soothing on the various scratches and bruises I had acquired during my short time in the game. Prevna busied herself with one of the cakes of soap that rested in little depressions around the pool before she dunked her head under the water. I stole the soap and when she came up for air she gave me a look that promised mischievous repercussions before going to retrieve the next closest bar of soap. I regretted my petty, convenient revenge in that moment.

    Wren, Chirp, and Dera arrived a few moments later with Loclen, Nii, and Andhi shortly on their heels. Prevna called them all over to our end of the pool and I lost my chance to easily break away from the crowd, just like that. She also stared me down with a smirk on her lips as she lathered her new soap between her hands and they came over.

    I glared back at her, but there was little I could do other than leave¡ªand my hair wasn¡¯t clean yet. So, I stayed put and took solace in the fact that I now knew what the latter three¡¯s bless marks looked like. Loclen¡¯s was made up of three concentric dashed circles, each line broken up into different lengths. The mark rested on the inside of her left forearm, just below the elbow. The back of Nii¡¯s right calf looked like the silhouette of a stand of grass while Andhi had five interlocking diamonds strung across her lower ribs, just under her chest.

    They were awkward with my unexpected presence, but Dera and Prevna made a valiant effort to keep the stilted conversation going as they all stole glances my way. Wren looked like she was once again in between two emotions and unable to decide which to settle on. The contest was between her normal easy-going nature and frustrated displeasure this time. Andhi looked to be in a similar position, but she had never been truly comfortable with me ever since our introduction. Telling someone to get touched by a shamble man and then ignoring them or catching another¡¯s favorite bird in a cloak tended to have long term adverse effects. Not that that wasn¡¯t what I wanted; it meant they kept their distance and I got to keep my solitude. Better for everyone involved. Loclen wasn¡¯t much better than them, except that she had clearly settled on an attitude and wasn¡¯t hesitant to express her annoyance with me. She did hold her tongue about our promised excursion the next night, however, which was a pleasant surprise. Nii had the interesting position of not having any real emotions towards me one way or another, so she dealt with the tension my presence caused by mostly ignoring me. I was silently grateful for the treatment and hoped the rest would follow her lead.

    The tension did ease, slightly, as the conversation turned toward what happened during Hunter¡¯s Quarry after I left the forest. Loclen was put out about missing it, but she had enough dignity and self-restraint not to mention something to the effect every other sentence. She and I learned that it had turned into a battle for tokens. Wren¡¯s group and Nii and Idra had managed to beat back the fire swarm Sprout, but not capture her, before they fell to fighting amongst themselves. Wren, Ulo, and Dera were forced to retreat after they couldn¡¯t break through Idra¡¯s invisible shield. They met up with Ento and Prevna next, and tried to use their combined fire power in a desperate measure to captured a Sprout once they realized Breck and I were nowhere to be found. That went poorly as the Sprout kept using the shadows to slip away before retaliating. As far as they could tell, she didn¡¯t even use her blessing. Then they tried to find tokens, but between most of them already being snatched up and wasting too much time on other fruitless plans of action they weren¡¯t able to gather nearly enough.

    Team Blue didn¡¯t fare much better. Based on Loclen and Andhi¡¯s account they broke apart nearly immediately. Apparently, Loclen and Nii didn¡¯t appreciate Juniper trying to hold them in an iron fist when they thought she had nothing to back up her authority. Loclen went off to scout on her own, Nii and Idra fell into an argument that went sour quick, and Andhi stood to the side, unable to decide what she should do. After Loclen didn¡¯t return, Juniper finally got enough leverage to split the remaining four into scouting and token hunting pairs. I don¡¯t know why she kept Nii and Idra together, other than the fact that their blessings worked well together, but both groups were able find a decent amount of tokens each. They were going to hunt Sprouts after the initial token search, but Juniper and Andhi were attacked by a pair of Sprouts and overwhelmed. The Sprouts took their tokens and kept them hostage for the reminder of the game, despite not gaining any points from it, and Idra and Nii couldn¡¯t break them free. Apparently, Nii¡¯s blessing didn¡¯t help her hit what she couldn¡¯t see and one of the Sprouts could create a dark, swirling mist. Nor could Idra keep her shield up indefinitely. Nii tried to get her to reveal how long she could hold it for and how quickly she could use her blessing again, but the other girl refused to say. In the time they had remaining, they also couldn¡¯t scavenge enough tokens up to win.

    So, in the end, the Sprouts won this round without a leader because they didn¡¯t need one. They had enough experience to know to get the tokens early and enough power that the seedlings couldn¡¯t make up the point difference once Breck and I were out of the game.

    After we got done bathing and changed into fresh clothes, Chirp wouldn¡¯t leave me alone. I was hesitant to let him near me after having just spent an excessive amount of time cleaning my hair, but he ignored my head in favor of flitting around me with insistent chirps before periodically holding his beak wide open. I tried to ignore him, but the way he went on, it was nearly impossible.

    Wren came up next to me with a rueful smile, but something about the way she held her head and straightened her back¡ªand the fact that her amusement didn¡¯t quite reach her eyes¡ªtold me she still hadn¡¯t forgiven me. ¡°Told you so.¡±

    I let out an exasperated sigh. ¡°I don¡¯t even have anything to give him.¡±

    Her smile became a bit more genuine. ¡°I have some sleet beetles. I can show you.¡±

    Chirp let out an excited twitter and landed on her shoulder, clearly expectant that we leave right that moment. I finished braiding my hair back into place and tied off the end as I worked through my options. Decline, and likely have to deal with an angry, manic bird for the rest of the evening, or accept, and face the inane flutters in my stomach while calming Chirp.

    I couldn¡¯t quite meet her gaze. ¡°Sure.¡±

    She nodded in return, and Prevna winked at me again when she saw us leaving the bathing area together. I snapped a glare back at her.

    Logically, I knew things were safer between me and Wren if she had a reason to dislike me. I could keep my barriers up and neither of us could get truly hurt. Distance was better for everyone. Logically, I knew that. But the guilt that had been sliding around in my gut ever since I wrapped Chirp up in my cloak was roiling now, and the bird kept giving me pointed looks as he cuddled up to Wren and we walked back toward the housing area.

    I broke when we made it the bridge just before we got back. Neck and ears burning, I glared at a patch of needles off to the side. ¡°I won¡¯t capture Chirp again.¡±

    Wren jerked to a stop, surprise evident on her face from what I could see out of the corner of my eye. ¡°With a cloak or otherwise?¡±

    ¡°With a cloak or otherwise,¡± I grumbled.

    She grinned. ¡°Good.¡±

    We didn¡¯t say anything else until she showed me a jar full of dried gray and black beetles among her things. I recognized them as the beetles that burrowed in the ground and became the most active during the weeks after the Thaw, when the cold season ended and we had the warmest weather of the year.

    Wren held the jar out to me. ¡°Chirp¡¯s favorite.¡±

    To emphasize her point, Chirp fluttered down to the ground in front of where I knelt and opened his beak as wide as a begging baby bird. Feeling awkward and a bit annoyed, I picked up one of the sleet beetles and tossed it his way instead of dropping it down his gullet. He snatched it out of the air and swallowed before hopping in place to face Wren and repeating the act.

    She murmured, ¡°Little glutton,¡± and gave him another beetle.

    Then I rose to leave and she smiled up at me, ¡°See you at practice.¡±

    Not sure how to handle the sudden genuine and inexplicable hint of warmth in her voice I just nodded in response and fled. Keeping my distance really was a much better idea.

 Book 2 - Ch. 18: Old Acquaintance, New Insight

    Breck looked like she should clink when she joined me the next evening. The usual eating knife and sling attached to her belt had been joined by a stone hammer, a pouch with a dozen needles half visible and ready to be quickly drawn, and a lasso hooked onto her opposite hip. The only thing missing to complete her new look as a weapon chest was a spear. It wasn¡¯t difficult to guess that the only reason it was missing was that she had run out of room on her belt and she wanted to keep her hands free.

    I glanced over my shoulder at the long, gossamer pine needles hanging behind me but no large attack force came rushing out to ambush us. I let my eyebrows lift in question as I turned back to her.

    Breck spared me a glance, didn¡¯t acknowledge my silent question, and then turned as well to look back the way she had come. ¡°Loclen¡¯s not here yet?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not late,¡± I pointed out. Evening was generally understood to start after the last meal of the day, but given that Breck hadn¡¯t been more specific than that Loclen could technically arrive at any point in the next three hours and still be on time.

    Breck made a noncommittal noise and crossed her arms. I hide a smile at the rare show of irritation; the impassive girl might as well have aspirations to be a stone for all the emotion she normally displayed. Though, between her outburst yesterday and now, perhaps that was changing.

    I mulled over the thought as we waited. Out of all the girls in our cohort, Breck was the one who reminded me the most of Rawley. Not my mentor¡¯s general patient and amused demeanor, Breck was too brittle for that, but she was like Rawley during the times my mentor had taken me hunting. Quiet and still and comfortable with the tedium, except that Breck embodied those things all the time. Like she was constantly on a hunt and was just waiting for the hare to stick its nose out too far. She had a huntress¡¯s pride as well, where any loss must be met with instant effort to disperse the impact. Nor did it slip my notice that while we both tended to be loners, Breck¡¯s air felt different from my own. She projected that she was simply capable enough to handle things on her own, while mine held the threat that I didn¡¯t play well with others. I didn¡¯t like the comparison, but I comforted myself with the fact that at least I didn¡¯t look like I had tangled with frostbite and lost¡ªif that was how she had lost her two fingers.

    For a while, I debated letting the silence hang between us, it was easier and less dangerous than talking, but curiosity won out when Loclen continued to fail to show up. ¡°How did you lose them?¡±

    Breck flicked her gaze over to me before following my gesture down to my hand. Her mouth twisted slightly in a derisive frown. ¡°My first screecher.¡±

    I nodded like I understood, but something in my expression must have given away that I had never heard of a ¡°screecher¡± before.

    Her bored impatience seemed to thicken around her. ¡°Think us, but squatter, uglier, a lot dumber, and with thick white fur and a red face and a protruding mouth. Then add a carnivorous diet and the ability to pour fog from their mouths when they aren¡¯t screeching at each other over who gets to sit on the tallest rock.¡±

    I hesitated. ¡°These are¡­animals?¡±

    She snorted and focused on the pathway. ¡°Finest of Haggler¡¯s Cliffs.¡±

    Not sure whether to take her statement as sarcasm or truth, I didn¡¯t push her further. Besides, I knew exactly one myth that was said to take place at Haggler¡¯s Cliffs. From it I knew the cliffs lay northeast somewhere, there were hot springs rumored to restore health and grant invulnerability, and that one half of the party of six that went got swallowed by a large carnivorous plant and the rest got picked off by a shadowy assailant that stole their eyes and mimicked their friends¡¯ voices. Needless to say, it sounded as disturbing as the Broken Spear Peaks and as dangerous as Flickermark, and if Breck had grown up there and only lost two fingers and gained some scars, then she had reason to walk around with such confidence as if the rest of the world bored her.

    Loclen arrived a few minutes later looking cool and unrepentant at making us wait. Breck gave her a look that clearly judged her delay.

    Loclen snapped, ¡°It¡¯s not my fault you both inhale your food rather than eat it.¡±

    I scowled at her, she scowled back, and Breck acted like she hadn¡¯t said anything. Then Breck led us into the claustrophobic needles. She didn¡¯t tell us to meet her at the Strands until she had a chance to get close to each of us during training. I thought she¡¯d take us to a path hidden off the platform, like the way to the library, but instead Breck stopped right in the thick of the hanging needles and pointed up. I followed her finger to a thick braid made of hundreds of needles that I had completely missed when I had searched through here before. My teeth gritted together. The annoying thing also ended above my head, so my fingers could barely brush the tied strands if I stood on my tiptoes. I wouldn¡¯t be able to get to the arena without help.

    Loclen and Breck could both reach it if they jumped, but Loclen didn¡¯t have the arm strength to pull herself up without more leverage. Breck clearly thought we were both idiots, but not everyone had the tedious inclination to do push ups all day. Her, Nii, and Ulo could have the honor of competing in that boring activity everyday.

    In the end, I had to climb on Breck¡¯s shoulders before latching onto the needle braid. Part of me expected it to give out as soon as I stepped on it, but it held without any ominous feelings of sudden slack or sound of breaking strands. I climbed up enough to give them room to maneuver before Breck pulled herself up and hauled Loclen up after. Loclen looked more than a little put out about the rough treatment to her dress, but I just hoped she didn¡¯t trip on it as we climbed.

    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    I did my best to focus on getting proper hand and footholds on the slick needles as we climbed, rather than the slippery sensation of the shadowy needles enclosing us on all sides. We¡¯d be at the arena soon and the last thing I needed was to slip into another memory dozens of feet in the air. It helped, though, that the sensation was similar to nothing in my childhood other than the comforting feeling of running fresh herbs through my fingers.

    The needle braid took us up to a hole naturally sculpted through the bottom of a platform.

    Unnaturally, the hole had hand and footholds pressed into the wood. As I climbed up the side a familiar voice that I couldn¡¯t place spoke.

    ¡°You¡¯re more of a thrill seeker than I initially took you for.¡±

    Then healer¡¯s beads clinked and I twisted as memory came rushing back until I was looking up into Ressia¡¯s smiling face. The healer was leaning on the lip of the wall I was climbing looking pleasantly surprised and¡­like a choice bit of fortune had just fallen in her lap.

    She leaned back and yelled over to someone as I slipped over the edge and onto the platform, ¡°Morgan! Come look who I found!¡±

    Ressia gestured me over to her and I obeyed as I took in the commotion around me. Whisper women were everywhere. The tunnel I had climbed up sat off to the side near the middle of the platform I was on and a raised four foot wall around the hole kept anyone from accidentally plummeting through the needles below. The area around me seemed to be a gathering place of sorts with a handful of groups chatting and sipping from cups. The origin of the cups was a mat on the other side of the platform. A Sprout sat there doling out a golden liquid into palm sized cups from a large pot with snow packed around it. She also looked pleased at the little favors piling up by her side: a knife no bigger than my thumb, sling stones, food, and a new pouch all held places of honor.

    Ressia followed my gaze. ¡°Mil makes the best nectar. The other girls try when it¡¯s their turn to take the post, but it¡¯s never quite the same.¡± Then, as Breck climbed over the edge, ¡°Joining us this time?¡±

    Breck shrugged and didn¡¯t look at her, already focused on finding a red marked whisper woman, Sprout, or Sapling to challenge. When she made to stride off Ressia reached out and snagged her arm. ¡°Ah, ah, ah, paint first.¡±

    Breck stared at her. ¡°Let go.¡±

    Ressia¡¯s placid stance didn¡¯t budge. ¡°Paint first. Then you won¡¯t be kicked out.¡± She started to turn to the bowl balanced on the lip of the tunnel by her side when her gaze caught on a man making his way toward us from where he had been painting marks on the faces of the women who arrived at the platform. ¡°Morgan, look! It¡¯s the Flickermark girl.¡±

    I saw the words forming on the tall man¡¯s lips before he spoke but was helpless to stop them. ¡°The one who can¡¯t die?¡±

    I felt Breck still beside me, shock radiating off her, and Loclen stumbled as she lowered herself to the platform. I refused to acknowledge either of them. Instead, I glared at the lanky, ponytailed man who had causally revealed my blessing without my consent. He wore a plain wool tunic and pants similar to Ressia¡¯s dress and the same geometric markings covered his hands.

    Ressia grinned at him. ¡°The same. Aren¡¯t you glad we were on duty tonight?¡±

    I switched my deepening scowl over to her.

    ¡°You always like arena duty.¡± Morgan rose his eyebrows at Ressia as he took in my dark look. ¡°She¡¯s just as prickly as you mentioned, too.¡±

    Ressia chuckled. ¡°Her friend isn¡¯t here to mellow¡ª¡±

    ¡°Paint?¡± My voice was biting cold as I cut in before the pair could reveal any more of my private history.

    Ressia gave me an uncomfortable knowing look, but she followed my cue. ¡°Oh, right. A dab of brown on your forehead and you¡¯ll be allowed to enjoy the arena¡¯s offerings with everyone else¡ªexcept for the nectar. That¡¯s for Sprouts and up unless you do something particularly noteworthy. And everyone has the choice to turn you down, no matter what color they wear.¡±

    Breck huffed out an annoyed breath. Apparently, her nor Loclen were going to jump into the discrepancy of what I claimed my blessing was and what the healers said right away, but it didn¡¯t take a genius to know it was bound to come up later. For now, though, I was content to leave them to their silence. That meant more time for me to come up with plans for how to respond.

    Ressia dabbed the paint from her bowl onto our heads after her cousin excused himself to go paint a couple new whisper women who had appeared from the shadow next to the path leading to the arena. Then Ressia filled us in on the different color meanings and the areas of the arena.

    A red line down the nose meant a willingness to spar in the rings to such an extent that the bearer couldn¡¯t turn down challenges from anyone but seedlings. Light yellow was for those who were there merely to spectate while forest green meant a desire to participate in games of wits and chance. Lastly, deep orange meant that the wearer was open to challenges of mind or brawn, but that they could also turn down anyone who challenged them. Yellow and orange were the most common colors picked, but red and green were sprinkled throughout the crowd.

    The arena, such as it was, was split into multiple different small to medium sized platforms and connected by branching paths. The platforms were all on different levels so that those on the viewing platforms could look down on the contest below and the physical contests were closer to where the healers manned the entrance, in case anything went too far. A large rope net also hung below the bowl shaped arenas where the physical contests took place, ready to catch anyone thrown out of their fighting area. The closer I looked the more I realized that it wasn¡¯t just whisper women and older seedlings who made up the crowd, either. A handful of healers with the same marks as Ressia and her cousin walked and conversed easily with the whisper women without anyone so much as batting an eye at the discrepancy.

    Healers. Acting as if they were nearly equal to whisper women.

    I stared.

    My mind stuttered through half a dozen different reasons for how what I was seeing could possible and all of them felt more like fantasy than probability.

    And Ressia leaned over my shoulder with that faintly amused, gentle smile curling her lips, ¡°Curious?¡±

 Book 2 - Ch. 19: Dichotomy of Choice

    ¡°Curious about what?¡± Loclen broke into our private exchange with more than a hint of frustration sharping her tone.

    Ressia straightened behind me, the smile still in her voice. ¡°Why I can talk to you without acting like a whipped dog, and you don¡¯t snub us on reflex.¡± She shifted and drew our attention to where Morgan was laughing with the whisper women he was marking. ¡°You can tell the dynamics are different here.¡±

    I watched as Loclen¡¯s eyebrows drew together and Breck began to catalog the dozen different warm interactions happening between healers and whisper women around us. I doubted they ever really had cause to notice healers as people rather than as an unsavory part of the background before. Didn¡¯t ever feel the need to notice every little nuance in an interaction to make sure things went smoothly, which was why they didn¡¯t immediately notice when that underlying tension was nearly absent.

    I turned back to Ressia. ¡°How?¡±

    She scoffed lightly as she waved one hand. ¡°I¡¯m hardly the person to explain the entirety of it, though¡±¡ªhere she smiled at me again¡ª¡°come to the healers'' nests and we could try to delve into it.¡± Ressia glanced back over at her cousin, proud and satisfied. ¡°The simplest answer, I guess, is that we¡¯re family here, the whisper women and fire starters and us. Oh, and our marks.¡± She held her gray marked hands.

    I resisted the urge to rub my head while I tried to parse through all the questions that came tumbling out. Part of me was still freaking out that Loclen and Breck had learned about my blessing while another had the idiot urge to stare at the sight of a male healer laughing with whisper women, and the remaining part of me was struggling with the reality altering information Ressia was off-handedly sharing.

    Unsurprisingly, Breck beat me to asking a question. ¡°Marks?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not called the Black Handed Healers for nothing.¡± Ressia considered the marks on her hands. ¡°Gray might¡¯ve been more accurate, but I think that reminded people too much of shamble men or the causalities that could occur if we built up too much life.¡± She shrugged and dismissed the thought. ¡°Regardless, think of these marks as a kind of Carver¡¯s Maze, except instead of holding the body in place while letting the soul through, they keep us from giving or receiving too much life. The Beloved really does an excellent job, doesn¡¯t she?¡±

    Loclen choked on the breath she sucked in and I was too preoccupied with the feeling that my brain might explode to pay any attention to Breck over her sputtering. Nevermind the fact that the Beloved would have had to touch Ressia to mark her or that the healer would have needed to be granted hours of her time to receive them, if the Beloved had truly given the marks then that meant the healers, of all people, were sanctioned by the goddess.

    Our goddess.

    Who was mainly associated with death.

    Who forbade dancing and singing and who had myths upon legends that featured the villainous or idiotic healer.

    I could understand Her leaving us¡ªthem to rot, but to approve a subset made even less sense than the fever dream of all the healers getting accepted. Unless, of course, the Beloved really was marking the healers in the Seedling Palace, because there was no way she would be expected to do all the healers everywhere.

    But why would she, our founder and savior, even take up that task?

    It was unconscionable. And ludicrous and went against everything I had been brought up knowing. I couldn¡¯t¡ª

    Ressia gently chucked me under my chin. ¡°It¡¯s true, little seedling. The Beloved marked me. No one else can get the lines just right to have the needed effect.¡±

    I felt myself go cold and distant as she doubled down on her assertion. It was too much, too painful to deal with the little flashes of imagination of what my life could have been if I had been born here, otherwise. I needed the cold to rein in my thoughts, focus, get my questions answered and not think until I had time to deal with what I learning on my own.

    Ressia glanced over the three of us. ¡°You all look like you just saw a shamble man cry.¡±

    Now the fluttery feeling in my ribs was a barely noticeable itch. I was protected and safe now that it didn¡¯t feel like I was in my body; I didn¡¯t need to worry about the flutters erupting from my mouth if I parted my lips.

    So I asked my most pressing question. ¡°What do you mean you¡¯re family?¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± She blinked and dropped her hand as she collected her thoughts. ¡°We often partner with the whisper women. It works well for those who want children and the understanding that both groups are forbidden to marry helps keep things¡­less complicated. If a daughter is born blessed then she joins the whisper women and we raise the rest to be healers, unless they cut off their beads, of course.¡± Distaste briefly passed over her face before she recovered. ¡°Those ones tend to marry into the fire starters so, in a way, we connect everyone in the Seedling Palace into one big family. Makes it more difficult for them to treat us as tainted outsiders, too.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see why being family would make that much of a difference.¡±

    Ressia looked over me before nodding slightly to herself. ¡°No, perhaps you wouldn¡¯t, but you can understand why being chosen would?¡± She made sweeping gesture that encompassed us and the crowds of whisper women. ¡°Your Her chosen servants.¡± Ressia touched her chest. ¡°We¡¯re Her chosen healers.¡±

    ¡°And the fire starters?¡± Loclen prompted.

    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

    Ressia shrugged. ¡°Servants of servants, more through happenstance than anything else.¡±

    Loclen¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°The same could be said of you.¡±

    ¡°It could,¡± Ressia allowed, ¡°but we have marks whereas their skin is blank.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t carry as much life as you,¡± Loclen pressed.

    Ressia chuckled though her stance seemed to have become rigid. ¡°Perhaps, but we carry hardly more than a man thanks to our marks. Nothing worth feeling threatened over, unless you don¡¯t trust the Beloved is able to perform her task?¡±

    Ominous silence fell over our little group before Loclen reined in her shock enough to swallow some of her pride and snap, ¡°Of course she is!¡± Then, in a quiet hiss, ¡°You can¡¯t just call the Beloved¡¯s abilities into question!¡±

    Ressia blinked blandly at her, unfazed. ¡°I don¡¯t believe I did.¡±

    We stood awkwardly together for a few moments longer while I struggled to wrap my mind around everything we had been told, Breck frowned, and Loclen held her tongue despite looking cross. Ressia took pity on us and clapped her hands together to break us out of our individual reveries.

    ¡°Come, you didn¡¯t find your way here to discuss healers and social dynamics. Enjoy yourselves!¡± Ressia gestured to the fights and games and merriment happening behind us all throughout the arena.

    Breck didn¡¯t need any further encouragement. She set off down a pathway leading to the nearest fighting platforms and the group of red marked whisper women waiting for their turn on a wide platform there. Loclen drew in a fortifying breath before turning to me.

    ¡°You owe me a game.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to face her. Didn¡¯t want to be in the arena any longer, but she grabbed my wrist and started walking. My feet wouldn¡¯t listen to me, not that they really felt like they were mine in that moment, but they knew as soon as she started pulling that it was walk or fall over. So, they took one step and then another.

    Healers being chosen by the goddess; accepted because one new mark and some excuse of family. I had had those things. Sure it had been a bless mark on my thigh and a barely acknowledged connection through my father, but I had had those things and it hadn¡¯t made one storming bit of difference.

    My jaw clenched tight.

    No, that wasn¡¯t quite correct.

    I had managed to also be ostracized by the outsiders.

    The cold in my chest and throat felt brittle and sharp, like ice formed in a sudden freeze. It wasn¡¯t fair to know that I supposedly had all the makings to have had what the Black Handed Healers had, but the pieces refused to fit correctly. To know that they got to work with the plants and their mysteries every day, heal and treat and create without even a hint of the anxiety she and I had to endure every day about taking on too much life. They were tolerated¡ªaccepted to an extent I had never dared to dream, but I could have had it too if only I had been born in a tree.

    Loclen sat on a cushion and I copied her. Dimly, I recognized we were on a platform where a handful of different games were being played, but the one in between us was circles and stones. Simple, quick and easy. Six circles drawn on a side, two larger ovals capping off the two columns, and four stones to a circle to start off with. Whoever got more stones into their oval won. I had played it with the twins when I would watch them when we were younger, before they learned to completely keep their distance. I had always won then.

    Loclen picked up the fourth pile of stones in on her side and then dropped one at a time into the piles in front of it until the last landed in her cache. She got to go again. She picked up her third pile and moved around the drawn board until she ran out of stones. I picked up a random pile and let the stones fall. I didn¡¯t reach my cache. She huffed, giving me a dark look, and went again. On my next turn I got a single stone in my cache after picking up another random pile.

    I didn¡¯t care about winning now. There were more important things to think about. Like the fact that the girl sitting across from me and the one barely holding her own against a whisper woman playing with her knew about my blessing. Of course, given how healers apparently were treated and that other whisper woman was accepted despite how close her blessing was to healing, perhaps not being about to die wasn''t as dire of a blessing as I initially thought. But I still didn¡¯t like that the knowledge was going to spread without my consent, and I doubted everyone would be understanding. Can¡¯t die, has a trial mark, and refuses to work with anyone? That was a threat if I ever heard one.

    And yet the thought of swallowing my pride and taking on the risk of listening to Jin sickened my stomach. Others would be more apt to try to use me once they knew, and I could do things just fine on my own. Not to mention that the thing I had really wanted was staring at me in the face now, as if it had always been an option if I had only known to look. Some errant part of me was ignoring my lack of beads and trying to devise ways the goddess might be convinced to exchange the bless mark on my thigh for dark gray lines on my hands. It was idiotic and futile and desperate, but cold and distant as I felt, I could hardly feel the pain of dragging myself through the hopeless options.

    ¡°You¡¯re not trying,¡± Loclen snapped.

    I scooped the stones I had somehow accumulated in my cache and dumped them in hers. ¡°Does that make things clear for you?¡±

    Then I got up and left. I don¡¯t really remember making my way back through the arena or passing by Ressia or climbing down the braided needles, though my right ankle kept twinging after from the necessary fall at the end of it, so I figured I hadn¡¯t suddenly discovered how to walk through shadows to my hidden platform. I slept there that night, using my arm as a pillow, still numb and distant but clear headed enough to know I wouldn¡¯t get any sleep if I went back to the housing area.

    When morning came I was gritty-eyed and stiff, and Fellen hadn¡¯t magically appeared to help pull me out of the weird state I was in like she had done in the past. Instead, I had the debatable comfort of her mantra and a secondhand ambition I had clung to all my life. The constants that wouldn¡¯t leave even when I ripped out everything else.

    I couldn¡¯t be a healer. I knew that. Knew it even before I had cut off my healer¡¯s beads and denied myself the chance to retain even a sliver of the practice. Knew that it had never really been an option ever since my mark bloomed on my thigh a few days after I was born.

    From that point on, I could only become a whisper woman. There wasn¡¯t any other choice, no matter what I might want, and if I was forced into the option than I needed to at least act on the choice of what kind of whisper woman I would be.

    But that had never really been a choice either.

    I had to be the best.

    Nothing else was acceptable.

    So, even though it seemed like everything had changed last night, nothing really had. The Black Handed Healers¡¯ state of affairs didn¡¯t matter. My cohort¡¯s knowledge about me didn¡¯t matter. My pride and feelings didn¡¯t matter. None of that changed what I needed to do.

    The cold distance made everything easy to calculate out.

    Winning and proving my worth mattered. Discipline mattered. Becoming the best mattered.

    If healers could act like the near equals of whisper women, I could play Jin¡¯s game, prove myself, and deal with the fallout later. After all, it wasn¡¯t like the hurt could reach me now.

 Book 2 - Ch. 20: Allies in Name Only

    Jin gave me an appraising look with her unsettling yellow eyes as I approached her after the morning¡¯s training while the cohort went to enjoy the midday meal. She had settled against the training ground¡¯s railing, one leg lazily crossed in front of the other, while she lectured and we worked.

    ¡°Looking to challenge me now that you found the arena? I¡¯m under no obligation to accept here.¡±

    I leveled my own steady gaze at her. She might be a whisper woman and my mentor, but quailing wouldn¡¯t help me here or anywhere. ¡°Put me in charge of a team for the Hunter¡¯s Quarry challenge.¡±

    She snorted as her lips pressed together in wry amusement. ¡°What makes you think there¡¯ll be another one?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not the kind of training you only do once.¡±

    Acknowledgment passed over her face before Jin pressed her next question. ¡°And why would I grant you such a position? I didn¡¯t even assign leadership this past round.¡±

    I stood as straight as possible. ¡°Assign me as leader and I¡¯ll prove that I can work with others.¡±

    ¡°You must think me a fool.¡± She pushed off the railing with the shake of her head before she started to circle me. ¡°Once and done? Is that it? You think you can order a few of them around, if they would even listen to you, and claim teamwork?¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± I swallowed the excuse I¡¯d been about to utter. It wouldn¡¯t help, especially not when she was right on the mark of what my plans had been. If I could show her that I could work with the others while I was still protected by the cold, then she could find a new target and I would be one step closer to my goal.

    She stopped in front of me, gaze focused on the mark on my chin. ¡°You should know true teamwork better than most, from what I hear.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t look her in the face any longer. ¡°That was different.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Her tone didn¡¯t permit silence.

    I swallowed down the full truth and gave her what was left. ¡°If we didn¡¯t work together then we would have died.¡±

    A wry smile twisted her lips. ¡°Well, that¡¯s not quite true, is it?¡±

    My teeth ground together. ¡°She would have died and I¡¯d have spent who knows how long in Flickermark as close to it as I could be.¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡± Jin¡¯s smile turned more sinister. ¡°What makes you think here is any different?¡±

    Something writhed under the cold in my ribs as she delivered the question as if it was of no more importance than anything else she had said. It wasn¡¯t thought I hadn¡¯t known the Seedling Palace was dangerous, any place so close the goddess¡¯s heart was bound to be, but those born with a bless mark were rare. Surely, the whisper women would do what they could to minimize accidental death. Nor was it like the dangers of the cold season had reached between the palace¡¯s branches or bane packs stalked the paths.

    Jin leaned back against the railing, arms crossed. ¡°Your growth is your own.¡±

    It was a threat, challenge, and dismissal all rolled into one. The only reason I didn¡¯t flinch was because of the cold that made it so I could pretend like she was talking to someone else.

    I left her and began to make my way toward the cooking area. I needed a new plan. Some other way I could prove myself without embroiling myself too deeply with the others. I already had tools for traps and poisons I was making in case Jin set us on another game where they could be useful.

    The sticking point was dealing with other people. I could work on my own skills well enough, but Jin seemed to want us to be closer than Pack huntresses, as knowledgeable about each other as Grandmother and Old Lily, as understanding as Rawley had been with Crest, Keili, and Veris. It was too big of a demand.

    And yet if we didn¡¯t do it, she implied we might as well be leaving each other for dead.

    I let out a long breath. Idra, Ento, and Juniper would make it, at least when it came to teamwork. The three of them were practically joined at the hip. If¡­if the other housing groups also kept on as they were, they would likely get to a point Jin would find acceptable as well. Nii would fill in the loose end Breck created in the third dome group and Loclen could join up with Prevna, Wren, and Dera if she really wanted.

    Really, Breck and I were the only ones who didn¡¯t automatically fit in with a group, but even she had managed to be partially included with the first dome group, if our training sessions were any indication. Which meant I really was the only one with the threat of failure looming over me. The whisper women might not want us to die because of the rarity of the bless marks, but given their limited number they also didn¡¯t have infinite time and resources to train a seedling they thought wasn¡¯t meeting expectations.

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    Failure wasn¡¯t an option, even before Jin basically said I might as well be dead if I didn¡¯t fall into line. News of my blessing had already swept through the cohort based on the various appraising, dark, and interested looks I had received during the morning¡¯s training. No doubt someone would approach me about it soon. I could use that; if they thought they could use me someone would let me into their group, no matter that I hated the thought.

    My pace slowed until I stopped just before I came into view of the cooking area. I could pick two to get ¡°close¡± to. The distant cold seemed to thicken at the notion, but that only furthered my resolve. I couldn¡¯t fail, not now, not when becoming a whisper woman was all I had left. I could use the cold to protect myself and pretend until we were no longer under Jin¡¯s command. It might be dangerous to allow even that much, but the shameful danger of failing out of the Seedling Palace before I had even been here for six months was worse.

    The true question then was who should I target? Prevna was an obvious choice given how far she had already forced her way in as well as the way she didn¡¯t¡­cling. I could work with her without needing to give any more and that should give the illusion of true partnership. I just had to avoid her a little less. As for the other¡­it made the most sense to target someone else who was often in the same company. My stomach fluttered at the thought of Wren and I dismissed her as an option. We might supposedly be allies, but that was too dangerous.

    Loclen or Dera then. Loclen was currently still upset with me which made her a more difficult option, though we did often end up in the same group. Dera, on the other hand, had invited me to join her and the others once before, so she was more accepting of my presence and she had a powerful blessing. If I had to ¡°work¡± with others it made sense to at least be connected to someone who could pull their own weight.

    Choice settled, I took comfort in the thought that this wouldn¡¯t be like with Fellen. They wouldn¡¯t get to know me enough, or me them, for us to truly hurt each other. I would just work with them sometimes instead of trying to everything on my own. That had to be enough for Jin, at least to show her that I wasn¡¯t unteachable. That I deserved to be here.

    Drawing my resolve in with a long breath, I crossed the remaining distance to the cooking area, collected my meal, and sat next to Prevna. She blinked at me in surprise, her flat bread wrap held almost to her mouth, while Loclen, Dera and Wren also startled.

    I took a bite of my own wrap as if this was nothing out of the ordinary. I could feel the glances of shock from other groups as well.

    Lowering her wrap, Prevna raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°Did you get hit on the head or are you here to dissuade the rumors about your blessing?¡±

    Loclen cut in, ¡°I heard it firsthand.¡± She glowered at me. ¡°You still owe me a game.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡± Loclen looked like I slapped her with my easy acceptance, so I added, ¡°You won¡¯t win.¡± Her scowl returned. I turned to Prevna after taking another bite, ¡°Jin already tried stabbing me in the throat. Besides, why do you think Grandmother was so cavalier about you poisoning me?¡±

    Wren spoke at the same time as Dera. ¡°Wait, you really can¡¯t die?¡±

    ¡°Why would you poison her?¡±

    Prevna snorted out a wondering laugh. ¡°You really are a horror.¡±

    I gave her a sideways glance. ¡°You would know.¡±

    She smirked but didn¡¯t say anything.

    Wren glanced between us, eyes wide with exasperation. ¡°Are you going to answer our questions?¡±

    A look at her earnest face killed the sarcastic comment I was about to make in my throat. So, instead, I cleared it and said, ¡°It doesn¡¯t seem like it. Prevna can answer the other one. I¡¯d still like to know myself.¡±

    Prevna rolled her eyes. ¡°As if.¡± Then she flicked a dismissive hand. ¡°It¡¯s ancient history. I had to prove that I really was blessed when I asked her tribe to grant me Sanctuary.¡±

    I kept silent about the fact that had been the second poisoning and that her ¡°asking¡± had been more of a demand, in the name of my new ploy. I didn¡¯t need them to ask more questions than necessary, either.

    Loclen asked, ¡°What¡¯s it like?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I knew perfectly well what she was asking, but that didn¡¯t mean I was going to make it easy for her. It was easier to have someone to be difficult with, rather than forcing placidity with everyone.

    She clarified, ¡°What¡¯s it like not to die?¡±

    I shrugged one shoulder. ¡°You tell me. You¡¯re not a shamble man, are you?¡±

    Loclen drew in a long suffering breath and I noted the moment she decided she was going to utterly humiliate me the next time we faced each other. The questions died off after that, though the others still cast uneasy glances my way. They didn¡¯t trust my sudden change of attitude, which all things considered, was smart of them though it didn¡¯t entirely help my goal. It wasn¡¯t going to look like I was part of a team if they kept casting distrusting looks my way every minute or so.

    Prevna finished her meal and shifted to face me better. ¡°So? Why have you joined us?¡±

    ¡°Jin has made it abundantly clear that doing things on my own isn¡¯t an option.¡± I couldn¡¯t hide the bitterness in my voice.

    ¡°And you listened?¡±

    ¡°Better than being kicked out.¡±

    That quieted them. No one knew what really happened to failed whisper women, but common sense dictated that it couldn¡¯t be good.

    After a long minute Dera piped up, ¡°Do you really think she would? Kick you out?¡±

    I shrugged while I scowled at my food. ¡°Rather not find out.¡±

    The group made noises of agreement and they left me alone. I doubted that would be the last of the questions about my blessing or behavior, but I took what I could get. I just had to stay prepared, calculated, and not get too wrapped up in this ploy and everything would be fine.

    It had to be fine.

 Book 2 - Ch. 21: Unexpected Absence

    Jin was called away a few days later. We weren¡¯t told why or for how long we would be on our own. Yule, the sleek, no nonsense whisper woman who had silently judged us during Jin¡¯s first trick simply ordered us to keep practicing before she disappeared back into a shadow on the edge of the training area. I think she thought she¡¯d catch idiocy if she spent too much time near us. Given the slack jawed looks on a decent number of the cohort after her announcement I almost couldn¡¯t blame her.

    Some were convinced that this was just another test and we were supposed to display what we learned over the past few months by finding Jin, since we had failed to do so the first time. That group was championed by Ulo, interestingly enough. I hadn¡¯t thought the earnest rule monger could think of something so outside the stated facts, regardless of how true they might be. Then again, such a trick was hardly unprecedented and Jin had been harping on about teamwork and honing our skills since day one. It was hardly a leap of thought to reach the conclusion that this might be a test dedicated to those things.

    Others who had seen a fight or two down on the lake¡¯s shore thought she had been actually called away to deal with the threat. Loclen was the main proponent of that option, but I doubted that our mentor would be needed there. For one, the whisper women I had seen before seemed to have the lake monster handled; two, there hadn¡¯t been any monster sightings recently; and third, I doubted Jin¡¯s blessing would be much help fighting such things. And why else would she have been specifically called away unless there was need for her blessing?

    Juniper and her little group didn¡¯t share their opinion either way while Prevna mused aloud about a multitude of options ranging from the idea that Jin had been summoned to goddess¡¯s dwelling to the speculation that she was fighting somewhere or that she gotten tired of us and abandoned us for an abrupt break. All possibilities, but I couldn¡¯t commit to any of them. Something in my gut insisted that it was something else, something bigger.

    It wasn¡¯t until a couple days later that I understood why. The Seedling Palace was subdued, quieter than it had been ever since we arrived. There were less whisper women on the paths and platforms that we could see from our quarantined area. Breck even let slip that she had been back to the arena already, but less than half number who had been there before filled it now. I also gathered that there was more tension and less fighting which didn¡¯t bode well and she didn¡¯t like. The fire starters were also more on edge but they kept their mouths shut when it came to telling us what was going on.

    The only place in the whole of the Seedling Palace that seemed the unchanged was the nested library. Shawsh still sat, bent over his latest miniature scene, while Clara lay on her cushions absorbed with reading whatever scroll on hand. I was certain she must have read everything in that library at least once.

    I went to press them for information again after Clara rebuffed Prevna and Loclen the first time. Still, they were our best chance at finding out what was happening, so I couldn¡¯t leave them alone.

    Clara rolled her eyes when she saw me step around the last line of scrolls and into the open space in the middle of the library. ¡°Go away.¡±

    I scowled at her. ¡°How do you know I¡¯m not here to read?¡±

    She kept her gaze trained on the scroll in front of her. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have stopped if you were.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t deny that. ¡°We need to know what¡¯s happening.¡±

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t. It doesn¡¯t have anything to do with you.¡±

    ¡°Our mentor disappeared.¡±

    Clara snorted and finally shot me wry glance. ¡°This library could teach you more than she ever will.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s not like she got the job because she wanted it or was good at teaching. Right, Shawsh?¡±

    The old man shifted uncomfortably as he looked up from the clay he was carving before he inclined his head toward the scrolls around the Seedling Palace carving. ¡°You can find more about the Enforcer there. Third circle from the carving, third column in from the right, eleventh scroll from the bottom.¡±

    Enforcer? I pictured Jin¡¯s slack way of dressing and tried to reconcile it with the brutal impression the word conjured. Then I all too clearly remembered the almost casual way she had nearly killed me and then the nickname wasn¡¯t so difficult to understand.

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    I filed the information Shawsh told me to the back of mind. Learning more about Jin would be interesting, but it wasn¡¯t why I was here. ¡°Why did she leave?¡±

    Clara glowered at her scroll as her tactic to distract me failed. ¡°Why should I know?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll give Shawsh a firsthand account of a secret spot in Flickermark.¡±

    She pressed her lips tight together in an attempt to disguise sudden hungry interest. ¡°We can¡¯t create something that would ruin a trial.¡±

    It was my turn to shrug. ¡°It would just be a scene. I won¡¯t tell you where in Flickermark it is, and you could always¡­be more artistic.¡±

    Clara eyed my trial mark before looking past her scroll to Shawsh. ¡°Would that interest you?¡±

    He smiled, a bit guilty, a bit excited and that was enough for her.

    Clara looked back at me. ¡°Some fool decided to burn down a tree.¡± All the blood drained from my face and my stomach plummeted as she continued, ¡°The goddess has denied access to fire to everyone in the southwest region in punishment until a thousand new seeds are planted. I believe your mentor is delivering the goddess¡¯s punishment to the idiot.¡±

    I swallowed and couldn¡¯t help but state the obvious. ¡°But it¡¯s late cold season.¡±

    Unless the people there had a place like the meeting hall in Grislander¡¯s Maw they would freeze in their tents. The weather always got colder and worse later into the cold season. Not to mention that they wouldn¡¯t be able to cook or thaw the frozen ground to make planting the seeds faster and easier. I shuddered. I doubted they had enough picks and shovels to get the demand done before many were lost to the goddess¡¯s wrath.

    Clara seemed to read my thoughts on my face and murmured agreement, ¡°The goddess isn¡¯t known for Her mercy.¡± Then her features twisted in distaste. ¡°Of course, the Lady Blue sensed the disturbance and now we have to deal with her slimy fish warriors and those awful salt creatures trying to erode the banks as well as make sure the tribes don¡¯t do anything else stupid.¡±

    I blinked at her, feeling like I understood everything she had separately, but not together. Clara¡¯s eyes narrowed in annoyance before she deliberately turned back to her scroll. ¡°Shawsh?¡±

    The old man cleared his throat. ¡°Moorkin collection. Fourth column, second, fifth, and seventh scrolls from the bottom.¡±

    I nodded my thanks to him and, seeing that I wasn¡¯t going to get any more information from them, went to collect all four scrolls he had directed me toward. Then I left the library to settle into one of the needle bed benches, though I was too restless to lay down. Instead, I sat cross legged in the middle of the bench and settled the scrolls securely next to me.

    I read the one about Jin first. It was a dry, listed profile that highlighted her major accomplishments. Bearer of a Named blessing, Desperation¡¯s Mirage, and one of the first in her cohort to drink the shadows. Scouted by the Peacekeepers and now she was ranked second only to their leader. She was known for efficiently punishing those who didn¡¯t adhere to the Scales'' rulings and forcing compliance. The more I read, the more I understood a single truth about the whisper woman overseeing the beginning of my time in the Seedling Palace: she was a breaker. She wasn¡¯t here to build us up and teach us. No, she was here to break us down until we could be rebuilt into something else, something they thought was better, or we broke from the strain.

    My teeth ground together. I didn¡¯t come to Seedling Palace just to be put in the same situation I had dealt with in my childhood. I was a seedling, not some powerless child. But, for now, I would have to keep playing the part if I wanted the chance to figure out a way around her goal. Just like I had with her. Then trading myths for healing had worked, though I doubted such straight forward tactics would work as well this time.

    I mulled through the situation for a while longer, not coming up with anything but anger and frustration, before I forced myself to put the scroll and fruitless plotting aside in exchange for one of the other scrolls.

    It was a line drawing of a crusty looking creature with six legs, three to a side, and the front two were very wide and curved like large shovels. It almost looked like it was lumpy and formed from small crystalline piles. A large oval mouth gaped in between the front legs, full of jagged teeth. I couldn¡¯t see any eyes on the thing or other notable features. Under the picture a single phrase was written in neat archaic script: Land¡¯s End.

    I shivered and quickly set the scroll aside in a bid to get rid of the sense of foreboding the image had created. The next scroll was another picture of a huge wave crashing onto a shore and carrying ugly bipedal fish that used their wavy fins to walk and hold spears rather than swim. I stared at the weird army, unsettled by the creatures as well as their number, before I slid my gaze down the scroll to read the drawing¡¯s title: Lady Blue¡¯s Fury.

    If Moorkin had taken time to record such things than they must be truth, however unsettling it was to think about. The last scroll was a written account similar to the tale I had recounted down in depths of Flickermark while I waited for Fellen to rest. The Lady Blue, not a goddess but nowhere near mortal. She became something in between, greater than the goddesses¡¯ other creations, but without the true gifts of the goddesses. Cursed to have no definite form and banished to the sea. I still found it difficult to believe our goddess could fail, but there was no mistaking now that the Lady Blue was not only myth. Not if Moorkin recorded it.

    I sank back into the needle bed bench and spent the rest of the morning trying to think through what I had learned and how to present it to the others. They needed to know what was happening even if I didn¡¯t want to involve myself anymore than necessary. None of them deserved to ground down to nothing just because some woman had ideas about what she thought we should be.

 Book 2 - Ch. 22: Respite

    I sat near the edge of the garden grinding knuckle grass and a bit of water down into a paste. Its stringent smell already wafted thickly from the mortar despite the fact that I had another handful to add to the heavy bowl. It wasn¡¯t really a poison, not unless you counted the dizzy effect that happened if you ingested too much of it, but it worked well as a base for other more potent recipes. The stringent smell and flavor covered up any potential ill flavors those recipes might have and knuckle grass could be found in nearly any area grass grew.

    A sharp crack sounded from my left and I looked up to see Dera looking pleased. She must have hit the large rock that protected a patch of purple boulder drops on its leeward side. Wren, Loclen, and her were all using it as a target while they practiced with their slings. The sound made me wish they had picked a softer target to practice with, but I couldn¡¯t really put my heart into the wish because if they had some of my plants would probably be destroyed. So, I did my best to ignore the sharp cracks and their presence while Prevna wandered around looking at the different plants while she tried to decide if she wanted to switch out the poisons in one of her hands. Given that she hadn¡¯t ask me for any pointers so far, I doubted her search was going well.

    Now that Jin had been absent for nearly a week the draw to go to the training ground had lessened. Instead, the cohort had split into roughly three groups that settled into their own areas every morning. Incidentally, the groups also seemed mainly split by how they reacted to the news of my blessing after the initial shock wore off. Ulo, Nii, and Andhi still met up in the training area every morning as far as I cared to tell, and all of them acted negatively when I was around. Ulo¡¯s disgust was the strongest by far and now she tended to get a look on her face that said I had proved all of her terrible suspicions about me whenever we accidentally made eye contact. It reminded me of the tribe members who would sometimes go out of their way just so they wouldn¡¯t have to come near the healer¡¯s tent. Nii wasn¡¯t as bad, but she had stopped the occasional comment she had thrown my way when we were in the dome together. Now her bed roll was pushed up against the opposite wall and she looked uncomfortable if I got too close. As if whatever life I carried might rub off on her by sheer proximity. I didn¡¯t pay much attention to Andhi, after our first ill introduction I knew she didn¡¯t think well of me even if she tried to hide it and she didn¡¯t possess any qualities that could have encouraged me to take on the unrewarding task of changing her mind.

    Juniper and her group seemed ambivalent, but I wasn¡¯t sure if that was because none of the three thought I carried more life than I should or if they were too wrapped up in whatever bound them together to pay anything else any mind. Breck would join them by the cooking area sometimes but otherwise disappeared on her own. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if she was going back to the arena, now that there were less whisper women the ones that did show up there were probably more likely to accept a seedling¡¯s challenge. She also seemed more interested in me now, but she didn¡¯t come up to chat and when her gaze fell on me it felt more like I was being sized up as a challenge than anything else.

    As for those with me in the garden the reactions were more varied. If anything, Prevna was more friendly and teasing than she had been before but, then again, ever since I had met her, she had seemed to take a perverse pleasure in things that broke convention. Given the people she grew up around that was hardly surprising. Once her shock had faded and she had more time to think about the implications, Dera had become more unsettled around me though she did valiantly try to hide it, which was interesting. I wasn¡¯t sure why she tried so hard even if some small part of me appreciated the effort. Loclen was her usual brusque self. She dismissed the issue of my blessing more easily than I expected anyone to and seemed more focused on humiliating me in some contest or another. From what I could tell, she was cranky that I knew more about the whisper women than her¡ªand that I had ruined her chances in Hunter¡¯s Quarry before blowing off her challenge in the arena. Wren was the most difficult for me to read. Sometimes she was like Dera, uncomfortable but making the effort to include me, and other times I would catch her staring at me with an odd look in her eye, like I was some frustrating riddle she couldn¡¯t solve, but that wasn¡¯t the confusing part. The confusing part to that look was the fact that there was always some hint of shame mixed in and no matter how I thought about it, I couldn¡¯t see where that fit in unless she was ashamed to associate with me, and she could always leave if that was the case.

    Chirp noticed that I was no longer intently mashing grass into a pulp and came flitting over from the amber tree to tilt back his head and open his beak wide. He still thought I owed him treats. When I ignored him, he pecked my leg.

    Flinching back, I rubbed my thigh and scowled at him. ¡°I don¡¯t have anything for you.¡±

    He twittered for a few moments before opening his beak again.

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    I flapped a dismissive hand at him before turning back to my work. ¡°No. I don¡¯t have anything.¡±

    One annoyed hop and then he was gone, back to investigating the tree. Apparently, he thought I should be catching the bugs that I had occasionally found when I was rearranging the garden to help the plants grow. Needless to say, I didn¡¯t waste time with that.

    Instead, I added the next handful of knuckle grass to my mortar along with some water and worked on grinding it down. As I worked, my mind turned back to what I had learned about Jin. I had already shared what Clara had told me about what was happening in the southwest region, there wasn¡¯t any point to keeping that quiet even if they didn¡¯t all believe me about the Lady Blue, but despite my resolution to tell the others about Jin I hadn¡¯t been able to decide how I should do it. Should I just tell the others in ¡°my¡± group? Or gather the whole cohort? Not that they would probably listen, not to me. I looked up from the bowl again to sweep my gaze over the others, assessing.

    Prevna was too controversial as well, and Dera was more likely to develop a stammer than get the information out in front of everyone. Loclen might be able to get everyone together and listening, but I wasn¡¯t sure she would do anything I wanted until she won a game against me and I didn¡¯t particularly feel like losing.

    Which left Wren. I held in a sigh. The other girl was one big, confusing distraction, but there was little doubt that she was the best bet to get everyone together and make them listen to the truth. Of course, I wasn¡¯t sure what was going to happen once they learned we were here to be broken into something else, which was also why I had been putting off sharing my new knowledge. Pushing back against Jin was hardly going to be taken well by the whisper women, but submissively allowing her to shove us into the mold she wanted, as if we were no better than objects she was pounding into shape, wasn¡¯t going to be taken well either. There were too many strong wills in our group to allow for that.

    I scraped the finished paste into a jar before placing it back into my poisoner¡¯s pouch. I could grind down Black Root later to add to it when everyone wasn¡¯t around. Passing up that poison just because of Prevna wasn¡¯t something I could do any longer. If nothing else, Hunter¡¯s Quarry had taught me I needed to be prepared as possible for any circumstance.

    Two more sharp impacts cut through the garden and Wren cheered. I watched them practice as I absently cleaned and dried the mortar and pestle. All three were getting better and better at using the sling. Loclen had probably made the most progress, but Wren and Dera didn¡¯t miss that many more shots than her.

    Footsteps came from my right before Prevna dropped into a crouch by my side. ¡°Are you sure you can¡¯t die from angst?¡±

    I slanted her a look of annoyance, but she only grinned and settled all the way down to sit next to me.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s got you in a fit today?¡±

    My jaw clenched. ¡°I¡¯m not in a fit.¡±

    ¡°Uh huh, and I don¡¯t have gray lips and time to kill.¡± She understood the question in my glare and answered it. ¡°If you had ever stared at someone that long before I¡¯d have thought their hair was on fire. What¡¯d Wren do to throw you off balance this time?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t staring. I was thinking.¡±

    Prevna snorted. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure you can do both at once.¡± She started to tick off her fingers. ¡°Jin isn¡¯t here to give you grief about being a loner, we don¡¯t have never ending lessons, and as far as I know you haven¡¯t been on the stairs or done anything new to piss someone off. So, from one horror to another, you really shouldn¡¯t have anything to be anxious over, but from that look on your face you¡¯ve managed to find something, and the way you¡¯ve been focused on Wren she has something to do with it.¡±

    I hated how perceptive she could be sometimes. ¡°She doesn¡¯t.¡± Then a bit grudgingly, ¡°Yet.¡±

    Prevna raised her eyebrows and waited. Knowing that tactic from Rawley I tried to out wait her, but she apparently had abominable patience when it came to teasing information out of me. I found myself telling her about Jin and the scroll that consolidated her history.

    She didn¡¯t seem all that surprised as she mused, ¡°Nothing like a trial to keep the goddess happy.¡± Prevna gave me a considering glance. ¡°You want to tell the others about it?¡±

    ¡°They should know.¡±

    She let the oddity of me wanting to do anything with anyone slip by with only an amused quirk of her lips before asking her next question. ¡°But you don¡¯t think they¡¯ll listen to you?¡±

    I didn¡¯t honor that question with a response. We both knew the obvious answer.

    Prevna was silent for a few moments before she stood and stretched. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to Wren for you.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    She started to walk away. ¡°Can¡¯t stop me!¡±

    I entertained a brief thought of running after her, but that wouldn¡¯t do anything but put me in awkward situation as well as place the need to talk to Wren back on my shoulders. I let Prevna go.

    She made her way confidently through the garden¡¯s paths before catching Wren¡¯s attention without so much as a drop of awkward hesitation. I shoved the stupid tendril of envy coiling up my spine down into the pit of my stomach as Prevna easily got Wren to join her at the base of the amber tree. Chirp fluttered onto Wren¡¯s shoulder and she stroked his head as they began to chat. Her hand dropped down to her side as she began to listen with more intensity as Prevna kept talking. They glanced my way once and I pretended to be enamored with the plant in front of me. By the end of the conversation Wren looked resolute, though she still gave Prevna a smile as they finished talking and parted ways.

    Prevna grinned at me, a bit smug, as she began to wander through the garden again. Within the next two hours, Wren had located everyone and convinced them to gather for an emergency meeting at the stage area.

 Book 2 - Ch. 23: Trials and Tribulations

    I glanced longingly over my shoulder at the back row in the stage area. I should have reacted faster when Prevna first got that glint in her eye when we got close, but she had hooked her arm through mine and clung on tight before I could slip away. She had tried to pull me to the lowest seats, but I sat once we were halfway down, leaving her with option to stand awkwardly stooped over or sit as well. She sat and now I couldn¡¯t make my way to the back without making a scene.

    Dera sat in front of us with Loclen as they chatted quietly. Wren had made her way over to left side of the stage to talk with Juniper, of all people. The conversation didn¡¯t look tense though Ento and Idra watched every little gesture Wren made. Idra wasn¡¯t pleased when Chirp fluttered down onto her lap. She tried to swat him off and earned a nipped finger for her trouble before the proud bird fly onto Wren¡¯s head. She left the first dome group shortly after that.

    Breck lounged near the top of the seats not far from them but didn¡¯t let anything she heard slip past the bored look on her face. When Andhi, Ulo, and Nii stepped past her to sit in the middle area she glanced at them and kept idly flipping her knife in the air. She caught it without looking at it.

    Ulo didn¡¯t seem pleased to be taking time away from her all important training while Andhi looked apologetic for her companion¡¯s sour disposition. Nii greeted Wren before sitting with the other two, her alert gaze taking in everyone¡¯s positions in one sweep.

    Wren stepped down into the middle of the stage area and turned to face us. ¡°Thanks for coming. I learned something today that I thought you all should know.¡± She paused taking in our expressions before she drew herself up. ¡°Jin isn¡¯t really a mentor. She¡¯s here to break us down, test how much abuse we can take.¡±

    Ulo let out a scoffing groan. ¡°Really? She¡¯s gone for less than a week and you¡¯re already spinning theories because you don¡¯t like how she teaches?¡±

    Chirp puffed up on Wren¡¯s shoulder as her tone sharpened slightly. ¡°She¡¯s known as the Enforcer. She left us without a word and is off punishing the tree burner.¡±

    Ulo flicked a glare my way before my way before dismissing me. ¡°So she says.¡±

    Wren also glanced at me but I was too busy glaring back at Ulo to read her expression before she said, ¡°It¡¯s true. She doesn¡¯t care about us. Everything she teaches we could have learned on our own.¡±

    Ulo looked about to argue again but Juniper cut in. ¡°Everything we learn is currently on our own. During her lectures she pushes us until we give her the correct answers or she punishes us for not knowing. During weapons training the most she does is give orders and lecture us over our failures with no guidance on how to improve.¡± Juniper raised her eyebrows. ¡°Does that sound like a mentor to you?¡±

    Prevna murmured under her breath, ¡°A piss poor one.¡±

    I silently agreed with her. Even she had offered more insight and helpful new knowledge than Jin did. Sure, she had sometimes lectured on something none of us knew about, but she also didn¡¯t bother to give much context so that new knowledge wasn¡¯t nearly as insightful as I wanted it to be.

    ¡°Why go to her lessons then?¡± Ulo challenged, staring at Juniper.

    Juniper shrugged. ¡°Some lessons are better than none and there was always a chance it was a trial.¡± She gestured to Wren as if to prove her point.

    Wren took that as a signal to keep going. ¡°I think it¡¯s a trial to see how passive we are¡­or how much we can endure.¡±

    Nii crossed her arms. ¡°They can¡¯t expect us to beat Jin. That¡¯s absurd. We couldn¡¯t even beat the Sprouts before.¡±

    A heavy silence fell over the group for a long minute as we all mulled over that fact. Idra broke it, ¡°Then what? We endure, when that¡¯s just the same as before?¡±

    Juniper laid a quelling hand on her knee as she faced Wren. ¡°We need to figure out the parameters of the trial. What else do you know about Jin?¡±

    Wren repeated what I had found in the scroll, about Jin¡¯s various accolades for keeping people in line and harsh punishments. The news that her blessing was Named didn¡¯t quell any of the uncertainty and fear rolling around in the stage area, however. Even Breck betrayed a hint of alarm at that. Named blessings tended to be more powerful as their original bearers made enough of a ruckus that it caught the goddess¡¯s attention and She approved of the power enough to pass it on to a new generation once the original bearer passed.

    Ulo¡¯s eyes narrowed as she talked. ¡°Where did you learn all of that?¡±

    Wren hesitated for a fraction of a second before stating, ¡°The library.¡±

    ¡°What library?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t tell if Wren¡¯s surprise was genuine or fake. ¡°The seedling library. The one inside the wide platform at the end of the right side of the fork after the shrine?¡±

    Recognition didn¡¯t show on Ulo¡¯s face, rather embarrassed anger shuttered it. ¡°How could scrolls help you? You don¡¯t know anymore of the basic characters than the rest of us.¡±

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    Wren¡¯s chin lifted. ¡°There¡¯s pictures too.¡±

    Andhi broke into the conversation, confusion filling her voice. ¡°How could pictures show you everything you just told us?¡±

    My shoulders tightened as Wren floundered for an answer. I should have thought of that discrepancy. Any involvement on my part would hinder the others¡¯ acceptance of the information we were trying to get across, but if I didn¡¯t speak up they might conclude Wren was just making everything up in some convoluted ploy.

    Wren was offering some barely thought out excuse about the pictures being really detailed after Ulo pressed her about how she knew the name of Jin¡¯s blessing when I interrupted.

    ¡°I read it. Third circle from the Seedling Palace carving, third column in from the right, eleventh scroll from the bottom.¡± All eyes turned on me, so I answered the question I knew was coming. ¡°I¡¯m a fast learner.¡±

    Barely anyone bought the statement given the distrust and ambivalence directed my way.

    Ulo made a noise of disgust and stood. ¡°I¡¯m not listening to anything she¡¯s a part of and you shouldn¡¯t either. Even if she wasn¡¯t a lazy degenerate, the life in her will taint whatever she touches.¡±

    Prevna leaned close to my ear. ¡°You should ask her to tell you how she really feels.¡±

    I ignored Prevna as Ulo stomped her way up the terraced benches, Nii on her heels. Burning warmth pressed up under the cold floating between my ribs but the heat wasn¡¯t enough to dissipate it. Andhi, surprisingly, hesitated for a few moments before she cast a guilty, apologetic look my way and followed them.

    Ento addressed Wren in the tense silence. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you expect us to do. Taking on Jin sounds even stupider now, given what you told us, than it did before but continuing on with lessons when she returns isn¡¯t an appealing option either.¡±

    Wren didn¡¯t quite meet her gaze. ¡°We just thought you should know.¡±

    ¡°A plan of action would have been better,¡± Breck criticized before she also go up and left.

    Juniper rose with Ento and Idra, following the new pattern. ¡°We¡¯ll think on what can be done.¡±

    Once their footsteps faded away Wren walked over to the four of us who were left. ¡°That could have gone better.¡±

    Dera immediately leapt into giving her assurances while Prevna faced me, expectant. ¡°What are you going to do?¡±

    My lips pressed together in irritation. Hating what I was about admit. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Hm.¡± Prevna considered my answer. ¡°I¡¯m going to talk to Clara and Shawsh. Coming?¡±

    - -

    ¡°Tell us what you know about Jin.¡±

    Clara groaned with exasperation as Prevna finished her statement. She wasn¡¯t reading this time; she held a slate in her lap while Shawsh used whatever was drawn there as a reference as he carved and molded a small piece of clay.

    Clara looked pointedly at me. ¡°I already told her.¡±

    Prevna snorted and settled down on the ground. I sat beside her as she spoke, ¡°Not everything. You¡¯re what¡­a year or two before us? How did you deal with her?¡±

    Clara rolled her eyes. ¡°I didn¡¯t. Yetti was still in charge of the seedlings when I was brought to Seed Landing, your lovely little area. Jin only made the stages for Hunter¡¯s Quarry then.¡±

    Prevna prompted, ¡°Yetti?¡±

    Shawsh paused to sit up and stretch his back. ¡°She was good mentor. Once the seedlings learned all the basic characters she would take you on a tour down here to the library, so you could learn more and practice.¡±

    ¡°She actually knew how to teach,¡± Clara added. More than a hint of bitterness seeped into her voice as she continued, ¡°That metaphor Jin probably spouted at you when you arrived? ¡®A seedling¡¯s growth is its own¡¯. That was Yetti¡¯s to begin with¡ªI bet Jin made it sound like a threat.¡±

    I kept silent, soaking in the unexpected windfall of information as Prevna kept the conversation going.

    ¡°So what? Yetti died on some mission and since Jin had some tie to the training we got stuck with her?¡±

    Clara drew in a deep breath, noticeably more tense than before. ¡°You and the year before. You can thank the Lady Blue for that.¡±

    It didn¡¯t take a genius to notice that it wouldn¡¯t be helpful to push that line of questioning further. Clearly, Clara had more of connection to her late mentor than I thought I would ever feel for Jin. Rawley, on the other hand¡­well, I could understand why she wouldn¡¯t want to elaborate.

    Prevna asked, ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll give the position to anyone else?¡±

    They both shook their heads before Clara answered, ¡°Not in time to help you. It¡¯s not like Jin wants the assignment, either, just like everyone else. There¡¯s too many other, more interesting things to focus on.¡±

    Shawsh sighed. ¡°I¡¯d take the position if it was allowed, but an old man teaching the future of the goddess¡¯s own? True folly, I¡¯m told.¡±

    I blinked. ¡°Do we have to go to Jin¡¯s lessons? Could we come here instead?¡±

    Shawsh cast a nervous look at Clara and bent back to his work. She answered for him, ¡°No one¡¯s risked it.¡± She hesitated and then continued, ¡°I mean, to become a Sprout you just need to earn one of the goddess¡¯s boons. Showing teamwork and understanding your blessing and everything else is important if you want to show progress and get looked at by any of the Sects, but, as far as I know, strictly speaking, the goddess¡¯s boon is all you need.¡±

    I ignored the warning that thrilled up my spine at seeing her uncertain to press, ¡°And that¡¯s typically drinking the shadows? To gain access to the shadow paths?¡±

    She nodded, wary.

    Prevna rose her eyebrows at Clara. ¡°Can you tell us how to earn it?¡±

    Clara rolled her eyes and snorted. ¡°No.¡± Then a small smile quirked her lips. ¡°The master of knowledge here might be able to give you a hint.¡±

    Shawsh was silent for a few long minutes as he finished attaching a strip of clay to the inside of the hole he had carved. Watching him, I realized he was making the underground cavern with the waterfalls in Flickermark I had described in exchange for the previous bits of information. It was a little annoying that they were sharing so much for free this time, but I guessed the fact that Clara wasn¡¯t trying to read and her need to complain about Jin had crumbled her normal reticence.

    Shawsh checked his work before carefully turning to face Prevna and me fully. He made a wide, encompassing gesture. ¡°You have access to everything you need to earn the blessing of shadows in Seed Landing.¡±

    Prevna tilted her head at the vague proclamation, ¡°Really?¡±

    He nodded. ¡°Good luck.¡±

    Then Shawsh smiled apologetically before turning back to wet his clay with the bowl of water on his stand.

    Clara held up a hand to stop anything else we might say. ¡°No more questions.¡± She tapped the slate. ¡°I need to focus.¡±

    I sincerely doubted that, but Prevna and I got up and left. There wasn¡¯t much point to risk being too pushy and ruining them as a resource if anything else came up in the future. Prevna teased me about not talking to them again after I looked over the scrolls, but we both knew that talking to people was never going to be my first inclination.

    Still, it felt good to finally have a clear goal once again after months of agonizing over what I should do under Jin¡¯s ¡°mentorship¡±. Attain the blessing of shadows. That was the true trial of the Seed Landing. And, from the sound of it, I wouldn¡¯t even need Jin¡¯s training to do so.

 Book 2 - Ch. 24: Fall

    I was ready to search the Seed Landing from top to bottom as soon as we left the library, but Prevna pointed out that five people could cover more ground quicker than two. Given that I couldn¡¯t logically contradict that statement, I followed her back to the garden.

    Wren was under the amber tree arguing with Chirp while Dera sat on the lip of the pool on the other side of the platform shaping bone. Loclen was nowhere to be seen. Wren cut off her argument with Chirp as soon as she noticed us and the little bird did an angry hop before flying off in a huff.

    Prevna rose her eyebrows at Wren when we reached her. ¡°Trouble in the tent?¡±

    Wren rolled her eyes, somewhere between annoyed and amused. ¡°Not really. Sometimes he just likes to put up a fuss when I ask him to do something.¡±

    Curiosity welled, but not even the distancing cold in my ribs was enough to push me to entangle myself in her personal troubles. That would just be asking for trouble. Fellen was proof enough of that.

    Wren asked, ¡°Learn anything?¡±

    Prevna called Dera over, who looked up with a start and blushed as she fumbled with the bone in her hands and on her lap before hurrying over, and Prevna filled them both in. They became more somber with the additional news about Jin. Wren even became a bit cross.

    ¡°They should treat us better than this. If they had a good mentor before, another one should have been lined up in case something happened!¡±

    Prevna smiled sardonically. ¡°I don¡¯t think we rank high enough for such a consideration. We haven¡¯t proved ourselves yet.¡±

    Dera quietly added, ¡°I don¡¯t think the whisper women have a lot of people to spare.¡±

    Wren crossed her arms. ¡°Then why give us a mentor at all?¡±

    ¡°Would you have learned the sling on your own? Tested your blessing further?¡± Prevna pressed.

    After a long moment of contrite silence she nodded. ¡°Jin might be bad at teaching, but she has given us a push.¡±

    Dera tucked some hair behind her ear. ¡°She might not be an official trial like we thought, but this also gives them a good idea of how we deal with¡­difficulty. Perhaps they even like it more this way since there¡¯s another measure to test us by.¡±

    I kept still despite the spark of surprise her words caused. I was used to thinking of her as the sweet, quiet girl Wren was overtly attached to, not someone who could and would think about the all the nuances of our situation after quickly adjusting her understanding of it. I hadn¡¯t even thought to make a distinction between Jin as a trial vs a difficulty, but the later definitely opened up our options; the situation was no longer pass or fail that way.

    Still, that didn¡¯t mean they were much closer about deciding what to do. I was in favor of skipping all of Jin¡¯s lessons once she returned, but I didn¡¯t share that and I had the benefit of my childhood of training to already have learned most of what she ¡°taught¡± to some extent. The snippets about the inner workings of the whisper women being the exception, of course, but I figured I could learn most of what I needed from the library or once I graduated from Seed Landing.

    They talked in circles for a while longer before Prevna finally heeded my growing look of impatience and prompted sweetly, ¡°Something to share, Gimley?¡±

    I glared at her but, not wanting to waste more time, spoke, ¡°Shawsh also said that everything we need to earn our first blessing¡ªthe one of shadows¡ªcan be found here, in our area. According to Clara that¡¯s all we need to become Sprouts and not be directly under Jin¡¯s thumb.¡±

    ¡°Did they say anything else? Any hint on what we need to find?¡± Wren asked.

    I shook my head. ¡°That¡¯s why we should start to look right away.¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t find much when we were looking for Jin,¡± she pointed out.

    Prevna shrugged one shoulder. ¡°I doubt whatever we¡¯re looking for is person sized.¡±

    Loclen brushed aside the curtain of pine needles blocking the garden entrance then and stepped inside, Chirp flying in after her. He landed on Wren¡¯s shoulder and she murmured thanks. He twittered, still sounding a bit miffed, even as he leaned into her stroking his head.

    Loclen finished winding her way through the garden a minute or two later. ¡°What¡¯d I miss?¡±

    Wren had the unfortunate pleasure of filling her in. Prevna allowed Loclen all of three seconds to soak in what she heard before asking, ¡°Where were you?¡±

    Loclen¡¯s lips pressed together in irritation. ¡°Taking care of something. Last I checked we aren¡¯t tied to this garden.¡± She surveyed us. ¡°Are we going to go look?¡±

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    I nodded. ¡°Right now.¡±

    Then I skirted around them and headed for the garden entrance. Everyone was filled in, I had played my part, and now I was to go off on my own and be alone and start the process to truly become a whisper woman.

    Something soft but surprisingly strong and callused stopped me in my tracks. I looked down to find Dera¡¯s hand encircling my wrist. My wrist. It felt nice and alarming and entirely too real. I could feel every inch of where her skin touched mine, the pressure of her fingers, the way my hand was limp in hers, but tension was coiling up from my fingertips to my shoulder. A gust of wind pressed against us, tugging her hair and slipping into the cracks of her grip, chilling my other hand. I could hear her breath and the blood beginning to pound in my ears. The cold in my chest struggled to retain control, but suddenly everything it had been holding back was right there, pressing on my thoughts, like a film of lake algae punched through by a diving huntress.

    I wasn¡¯t outside my body anymore and the last time she had touched me she had shackled my wrists together.

    I flinched and then, embarrassed and angry at the show of weakness, ripped my arm from her grip. I didn¡¯t even take time to register her reaction or ask why she had grabbed me before I strode through the garden, barely keeping from running.

    I had been surrounded by people. People I could hurt, who might be learning how to hurt me. There was the possibility, however inconvenient and annoying and problematic that Jin could ruin my chance to become a whisper woman, the only thing I was allowed to be. I could dismiss her as a bad mentor and continue on my own or I could settle for her lessons to keep her placated and pursue the goddess¡¯s boon in my free time. Each was a risk.

    But my throat closed at the thought of spending another day in a version of her tent, trading time and pride for scraps of what I really wanted.

    I couldn¡¯t do that again.

    Especially now that I knew how poor that trade really had been. The myths gave me knowledge, yes, but they had yet to become truly useful in the Seedling Palace. And healers could be recognized by the Beloved. I could''ve had both, healing and stories, rather than be ripped apart choosing between the two.

    I could have been who I wanted and who I had been marked to be.

    It would have been difficult, painful. A struggle still. But I could have been both.

    I wasn¡¯t paying attention when I went to cross the narrow paths. My hands were slack on the rope, my feet placed more from distracted memory than focus. The world dropped out from under me when I wasn¡¯t even a third of the way across.

    Someone screamed behind me and I struggled to grasp back onto the rope but it was gone. My stomach surged up into my throat as I plummeted into empty air. Branches whipped past. I reached for them, trying to break my fall, but my building momentum tore the ones I managed to grab from my fingers.

    Then something slammed into me and I felt pain, sudden and deep, bloom all across my side. Ignoring it, I scrambled to latch onto the railing that had arrested my fall. For a few breathless seconds, I felt myself slipping back into empty air before I managed to get my leg over the railing and I tumbled onto the platform it enclosed.

    Laying prone on my back I stared up at the narrow paths, panting from exertion. Which was when I saw a pouch dangling from the bottom of the narrowest, ropeless path and I skipped right over fear to fury.

    Done.

    I was done playing by everyone else¡¯s rules. They could think they were so clever and pride themselves on stupidly dangerous hiding spots. I wasn¡¯t going to ruin myself for them. If they wanted to piss on someone, they could storming well do so on themselves.

    I struggled to my feet. Breathing hurt. My legs shook. But if I had to be in my body, it could at least do what I wanted.

    I took shallow breaths and walked forward. Chance had it that a whisper woman stood not far away on the path connected to the platform I landed on. Her eyes were wide with shock, but her lips were black and that was all that mattered.

    ¡°Take me back up there.¡± I tried to reach up and point toward the narrow paths, but had to limit the gesture when the pain flared in my side.

    She stared at me. ¡°You need to go to the healers¡¯ nests.¡±

    I made a rude gesture, past caring. ¡°Up there.¡±

    Her face hardened. ¡°Careful, Seedling.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡± Seeing that she wasn¡¯t going to be any help, I moved to step past her. My shoulder might have checked hers.

    Thousands of ants were biting and crawling under my skin. I crumbled to the ground, more focused on trying to scratch them out and crush them to death than staying standing. But when I looked at myself, there wasn¡¯t any ants, no telltale bumps beneath my skin even as I felt the incessant biting and skittering. The pain in my side flared again as I twisted and squirmed, but I couldn¡¯t help it. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the terrible sensation faded.

    The whisper woman looked down at me. ¡°Pay attention in the future. It might save you a bad fall and angering your superiors.¡±

    I didn¡¯t think, I acted.

    Rage directed my hand into the poison pouch and found the jar of crushed Black Root. I popped the lid and scooped up a finger full in the same motion as I surged to my feet and tackled her. She went down.

    Ants started to bite and crawl again, but nothing mattered except in that moment except for one single goal: making someone pay. I got my arm around her throat and swiped the glob of Black Root in her mouth when she opened it to yell. She spat most of it back out.

    But that didn¡¯t matter.

    The glob I had scooped up was at least twice the normal dose and it hadn¡¯t been watered down.

    She elbowed me in my hurt side and I folded. Pain, from my injury and her stupid ants, shifted back into focus and I stayed on the ground.

    She swiped at her mouth. ¡°Feral bitch.¡±

    The whisper woman was already starting to sway though and I saw her frown and touch her throat next. One look of affronted disgust later and the ant sensation surged before cutting off and she hurried to the closest decent sized shadow. She disappeared.

    I lay on the path, dazed and hurting and still full of impotent fury. For all intents and purposes, I had lost again with nothing to show for it.

    Useless.

    I growled and used the railing to pull myself back up. I refused to be that. I would show Jin and my cohort and the whisper women, I wasn¡¯t the one who ended up full of regret when I was pushed too far. I needed to show them that I was in control, that I wasn¡¯t just some weak seedling they could kick around. Messing with me had consequences and I was tired of curbing my impulses.

 Book 2 - Ch. 25: Consequences

    There¡¯s a myth I learned when the tribe was hiding out in caves while Flickermark flooded from a thunderstorm so loud it sounded like the sky itself was cracking in two. Of course, she didn¡¯t care about that. All that mattered was cramming my head so full of stories that, if nothing else, I would have a couple handfuls of grains of truth when it came to whisper women and history whereas most people, other than Grandmothers, had a dozen grains to build with at most.

    The myth she pressed close and shouted in my ear that day didn¡¯t feature the goddess or the Beloved or even those foolish enough to rebel against them like so many of the common tales she told me. This one featured a boulder. A boulder so big and tough and hard that nothing could break it. Not even the strongest bear, determined to make the sturdiest den, nor a lightning strike so large and bright that it blinded every creature for a mile around. The boulder stood up to earthquakes and flash freezes, creeping vines and the tools of all who wishes to take a piece for themselves. Nothing could harm it. For years and centuries it sat in the same place, perfectly round and smooth, perfectly unchanged. Until a stream wandered its way close and began to carve its way through. It took more centuries for the water to wear its way through the rock and do what rain and lightning and bears could not. The boulder became an arch.

    I think the lesson I was supposed to learn that only time and effort can change something, perhaps with the idea that even if something changes it can still endure. The boulder might have become an arch, but it was still as round and smooth as it had ever been.

    The impression that wouldn¡¯t leave me, however, after she told me that tale with the rain pouring down, the air thick with moisture, was that water always wins. It might not have won as rain or ice or snow, but it kept changing and trying until it found the boulder¡¯s weakness. And that was even leaving aside the fact that nothing I knew could survive without it.

    I couldn¡¯t hurt the trees or the ice vines or the goddess¡¯s shrines in my revenge unless I wanted to feel Her full ire and truly know what it was like to die, I knew that even as my rage made my blood pound. In fact, it was the boulder my thoughts swirled around as I stomped through an unfamiliar section of the Seedling Palace on shaky legs. How did I make them all pay when I couldn¡¯t harm any of my surroundings? When if I took anything too far I could lose my chance at becoming a whisper woman?

    Well, I had already attacked a whisper woman.

    But that wasn¡¯t enough. They still needed to learn that there were consequences for hurting me. For trying to break me and treating me like I was nothing.

    Perhaps, if I hurt one more particular whisper woman they would all get the message. After all she wasn¡¯t called the Enforcer for nothing.

    How to bring her to me though? What could I do that would make them call her quickly? Would they even call her or would the other whisper women simply punish me themselves?

    Then my eyes caught on the small, nearly enclosed platform I was passing. The answer was really quite simple: make it personal.

    Yule sat on a bench sipping from a water skin with three blurred rectangles hovering in the air in front of her. Her back was to me and all of her attention was on the rectangles, no doubt the way Jin and her had spied on us before. Part of me wondered if she watching me right now on one of them, but the rest of me doubted it. Watching me read or grind herbs would hardly be exciting to an outsider and if she could see me sneaking up behind her, she would¡¯ve at least twitched.

    Everything hurt, but I kept low and steady like Rawley taught me. Indulging the pain could come later, if ever, when I didn¡¯t have something important to do. She brought the water skin back to her lips right as I reached her.

    Knowing an opportunity when I saw it, I snaked my hand around the pouch and squeezed. She sputtered and choked as more water than she expected suddenly forced its way down her throat. I allowed myself a small smile.

    Water always wins.

    While she was still busy sputtering and trying to figure out what was going on, I punched her in the lower back, right where I knew the kidney was. She went down, hit her head on the floor in the process, and her rectangles disappeared. I kicked her in the stomach and then wrenched one of her arms behind her back when she reflexively tried to curl up. After forcing her onto her stomach by putting weight on her captured arm, I put my knee on her neck and trapped her free arm against her body with my other leg.

    Yule finally got herself together enough then to try to struggle against me, but I had the leverage and resolve not to lose it before I got what I wanted.

    ¡°Tell Jin to join us.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not instantaneous, you little fool,¡± she snarled.

    I filed that information away for later even as I applied more pressure to her arm and neck. ¡°I¡¯d still send the message if I were you.¡±

    She sent a message. It wasn¡¯t to Jin.

    A little buffet wind picked up the words ¡°attacked¡± and ¡°help¡± and whisked them away from the shadowy platform. I cursed and still tried to make her send a message to Jin but it took less than thirty seconds before half a dozen whisper women appeared from the shadows and pulled me off her.

    I struggled but, while none of them used their blessings, I wasn¡¯t any match for six full grown and trained whisper women. Yule stood with a huff and straightened her clothes while the whisper woman with the most muscles merely hugged me to her chest. I couldn¡¯t break free of her arms or the humiliation.

    As a consolation prize, neither could Yule, for the latter at least. Once I was caught and they saw her assailant was a mere seedling more than one ribbed her for the failing. She rebuffed their satire with a grimace and shot me a look that clearly stated she would get revenge later. I smirked back. That nearly sent her after me right then until she caught herself at the last moment. I can only assume remembered that attacking a captured seedling would make her look even more a fool in her companions¡¯ eyes as well as the fact that the whole scenario contradicted the sleek, collected image she liked to project.

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    They took me through the shadow paths down to the Seedling Palace¡¯s roots. Some of them curled back on themselves or over each other in such a way that they created deep pits. They threw me in one and left without so much as an explanation or threat. The closest thing I got was Yule¡¯s perverse look of satisfaction when she saw me lying in the snow at the bottom. There was no controlled temperature here.

    I laid there and stared up the branches blocking the sky while I thought about the boulder myth and the fury in my gut cooled. I had been hasty and retroactive. Both of which were the opposite of what I needed to get the results I wanted. If she had been there to witness what happened there was no doubt about which look of disappointment I would receive and that the words ¡°you were supposed to be better than this¡± would accompany it.

    I dragged my hands over my face and didn¡¯t bother to wipe away the melting snow they left behind. I had attacked two whisper women. No matter the reason, no one in the Seedling Palace would allow that to go unpunished. Given that Jin had given an unspoken threat to kick me out when I was refusing to hang around my cohort, I doubted they would be lenient now. Insubordination had to be a higher offense than that.

    No matter that I had fallen from their stupid path and could have died if I was anyone else. No matter that they hid what we needed in idiotic spots, having a good chuckle while we passed by it. No matter that we had to deal with a mentor who didn¡¯t know how to teach and were still expected to learn at the same pace as the years who had the previous mentor. No matter that I had yet to have a single success since coming to the place that was supposed to fulfill my life¡¯s purpose.

    The rage surged again but, without anything to rail against except for the snow, it dampened back down to lurk in the background. However, it did give me enough motivation to pull my shivering, aching body together and crawl to the edge of the pit and huddle there. The cold season air was brutal without my cloak, but I couldn¡¯t convince my body to get up and pace when all it wanted to do was curl up for warmth.

    I was going to get kicked out. What that meant I wasn¡¯t sure, other than the fact that I had thrown away my chance to fulfill my vow I had made when I was nine years old right when I had clear direction on how to reach it, in order to barely hurt two whisper women I didn¡¯t really know and didn¡¯t care about.

    I was glad Fellen and Rawley couldn¡¯t know how far I had fallen after that other ill thought out outburst. A single wrist grab was enough to send me reeling with fear when before I would have been disciplined enough to jerk my wrist away, perhaps give a glare, and otherwise keep my emotions in check. But between the terror that I would mess everything up again and prove her low expectations true, and all the new information I had been learning, I couldn¡¯t keep my focus long enough to do anything productive. All in all, being so defensive and reactive was only making my fears a reality.

    So, I forced myself to focus then. Sink to the image of my healer¡¯s tent and all the memories it contained, and put my recent activities and the things I learned in order. I might not have completely come to terms with all of it, but everything was packed away into a spot and that was better than restlessly picking at the information like a scab that refused to heal.

    When I opened my eyes a whisper woman was considering me in the day¡¯s failing light from where she sat on the pit¡¯s lip. I recognized her. Wavy brown hair, pale skin, and a smile that hinted she knew a joke no one else did¡ªit was the whisper woman who had brought me to the Seedling Palace.

    She kept her chin rested on her palm as she spoke, ¡°You do know how to make a woman wait.¡± At my visible flinch, she chuckled and waved her free hand dismissively. ¡°Only joking. My mistress has one question for you: since you seem so keen on fighting, are you willing to do so to stay?¡±

    There was only one correct answer to that question since I refused to become one of the unmentionables who failed out of becoming a whisper woman. ¡°Yes.¡±

    Her smile widened. ¡°Good. Know you owe the Lady of Calm Waters a favor then.¡±

    My eyes narrowed at her deliberate obscureness, but before I could ask her who or what that meant she was gone. Around a half an hour later Yule appeared with two other whisper women in the shadows at the bottom of the pit. My scowl matched her own when I realized that meant they didn¡¯t need to throw me into the root pit earlier. The two guards grabbed me on either side and hauled me to my feet before we all disappeared back into the shadow paths.

    When we reappeared we were in the Seed Landing. They marched me from the wide platform connected to the trunk of the tree, where we first arrived when we came to the Seedling Palace, down to the stage area. The whole cohort was there and none of them looked enthused to be occupying it for the second time that day. It was odd to think our meeting about Jin had happened that same afternoon.

    Yule strode out front down the steps to the stage under the pine cone lanterns¡¯ light while the other two forced me along behind her. Horror marked Wren, Dera, and Prevna¡¯s faces while shock and possible concern marked most of the others. Ulo looked smug, like I had vindicated everything she ever thought about me, and Juniper and her group kept themselves impassive, though I thought Idra looked faintly impressed.

    As soon as we reached the middle of the stage I was roughly twisted around to face them all and Yule stepped up in front of me. When she spoke she managed to sound both smug and sour at the same time.

    ¡°Gimley is guilty of insubordination and attacking her superiors. However,¡± here her voice twisted with distaste and then contempt, ¡°since her blessing and skills have been found to be promising, she is being given a second chance to prove herself by fighting for the goddess. If the fight against the sea''s creatures in the southwest region wraps up in one month¡¯s time and she isn¡¯t proven unfit for service, she will be allowed to return to the Seed Landing to continue her studies without the privilege of a mentor.¡±

    I nearly smiled at that. Make it through a war and I could return without agonizing over what to do about Jin¡¯s mentorship.

    Prevna asked, ¡°And if the fighting doesn¡¯t end in a month?¡±

    Yule clearly enjoyed her next statement. ¡°Then she will be stripped of her blessing, banished from our goddess¡¯s lands, and die a long, cold, starving death from lack of fire. A quick death was judged to be too easy for such a failure.¡±

    Prevna suppressed a shudder while Juniper, surprisingly, cut in next. ¡°She goes to the shore?¡±

    Yule nodded, somewhat wary.

    Some of the melancholy fled from the slim girl¡¯s features. ¡°Then we go as well. We would better serve there.¡±

    Yule¡¯s chin lifted. ¡°This is her punishment to bear.¡±

    Breck sat up from where she was leaning against the step behind her. ¡°I¡¯m going as well. That sounds more exciting than being cooped up here.¡±

    Prevna flashed me a quick grin and added, ¡°I want to go too.¡±

    Yule didn¡¯t look pleased to have the situation pulled from her grasp. ¡°Like I said, the punishment is hers to bear. You all are to stay here and continue to train.¡±

    Breck shrugged. ¡°Real combat is the best training.¡±

    Juniper moved her head, so that the pearl on her forehead caught the light. ¡°Nor will you deny me my duty. This merely brings us to the point I was already going to rise to your attention.¡±

    Yule¡¯s head cocked to the side like she was listening to something we couldn¡¯t hear and her mood soured even further. When she faced the cohort again she held herself rigid and spat out her words.

    ¡°Fine. You want to go and get yourselves killed? You¡¯ve been granted permission.¡± She twisted to face the two guards. ¡°Take all who demand to go.¡±

    Then she strode away up the steps and disappeared from my sight.

 Book 2 - Ch. 26: Breaking New Ground

    My first impression of the war camp was tent peaks and black lips. It looked to be on par with the size of my tribe when we made camp, if not a bit larger. Two hundred odd whisper women along with their fire starters to keep the fight and camp running smoothly.

    The guard who transported me through the shadow paths gave me a small shove forward. I held in a glare and walked forward until we reached a waiting fire starter. He exchanged a few words with the whisper woman before giving me an ill concealed look of censure while she disappeared back into the shadows. No doubt he could of hid the look if he wanted to, but I ignored his passive aggressive ploy in favor taking in the camp in further detail.

    The tree whose shadow we used to enter the camp stood in the center of all the tents and was huge compared to any normal pine tree, if nothing more than a twig to the Seedling Palace. Its roots radiated out from it, not all hidden by soil and snow. Following the roots with my eyes, I saw two other trees breaking through the forest of tents in different directions and an oddly formed wall encircling everything. It looked more like briar patch scaled up several times rather than something made by any of the whisper women. A sharp breeze smelled heavily of salt and decaying fish as it rustled the scrub grass underfoot and won a few claps from the surrounded tents as several unsecured tent flaps gained life.

    Hearing footsteps behind me, I turned to find Breck striding towards me as the whisper woman who brought her disappeared back into shadow. The other girl was just as heavily armed as she had been when we went to the arena, but this time she had a spear in one hand as well as a pack on her back. We had been given all of ten minutes to gather our things. The others had also been given a chance to say goodbye, but I was corralled and kept under tight watch, so with much of a chance to say goodbye or anyone to say it to, the most I got were awkward, sad looks from Wren and Dera. Loclen seemed like she couldn¡¯t decide whether she wanted to throttle me or push me over the edge. She didn¡¯t seem to take being forced to continually put off her personal revenge plot against me well.

    At least with those ten minutes I was able to gather all things that had come with me to the Seedling Palace, but it was annoying not being able to take any supplies from the garden. Time not being an issue, I knew I could force myself past those stupid thin paths again. Maybe even snatch up that horridly placed hidden pouch on the way.

    Breck stopped next me and didn¡¯t say anything. She was too focused on taking in the camp with swift glances, like I had. For once, she didn¡¯t seem perpetually bored, either. Satisfaction showed in the eager way she gripped her spear, the set of her shoulders, the way she had unconsciously shifted her weight forward on her feet. Breck had been promised a fight and she was eager to play her part in it.

    Not longer after Juniper and Prevna also joined us. The guard who brought me and Juniper had needed to make two trips into the shadow paths to reach the camp while seemed the second one needed three. She always took several minutes longer than the first.

    Prevna slung an arm around my shoulders in a blatant display of ignoring personal space. When I flinched from the unexpected contact and pain in my ribs she squeezed me tighter for a moment, playfully, before letting go. ¡°You certainly know how to keep things interesting.¡±

    I watched a whisper woman sharpening a spear next to a community fire. ¡°You didn¡¯t have come.¡±

    She snorted and gestured to the camp and the stars overhead. ¡°And miss this? I¡¯d rather be here than cooped up in that tree.¡±

    Breck nodded her agreement. ¡°Well said.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s lips pressed together in disagreement or displeasure, but she didn¡¯t speak up. Instead her gaze stayed trained on where we arrived. It didn¡¯t take much longer for Idra and Ento to be pulled out of the shadows by their guides.

    The two whisper women didn¡¯t disappear again. No one else had taken up the odd decision to follow me to a battlefield¡ªnot that I thought anyone but Prevna had actually made the decision because of me. They had all taken up the opportunity, such as it was, for their own reasons that they had no interest in discussing with me.

    The guard who had brought me spoke with the fire starter again and we got moving as the pair flanked us at the back. The fire starter strode through the camp with a purpose. I resented him for the lack of time to take in everything around us and get a better idea of the layout of the camp, but, after the beating my body had taken already, it was all I could do to keep up.

    He stopped in front of a tent large enough that it looked like it could hold two families comfortably inside. ¡°Squad Mishtaw¡¯s tent. You¡¯ll be staying here.¡±

    The fire starter gestured sharply for us to follow him again and ducked inside the tent. We did. The guards stayed outside.

    The four people already inside the tent stared up at us from where they sat on cushions around an aborted game of sticks and stones. A dark skinned woman, black hair pulled up into a crown braid, narrowed her clear blue eyes at the fire starter.

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    ¡°You¡¯re Nadia¡¯s man.¡±

    The fire starter gestured to us as we stepped in behind him. ¡°The commander has found you the troops you requested.¡±

    Incredulity was quickly swamped by frustration. ¡°I requested fighters. Not. Children.¡±

    He dismissed her words with a shrug, obviously confident in the authority his mistress gave him. ¡°Hands are short, as always. Fight with them or without them. Regardless, you will all be expected to keep up with your share.¡±

    She sucked on her teeth for a moment before clicking her tongue. ¡°Fine. Let the commander know that if this is all she can scrounge up then we¡¯ll take them.¡±

    He smiled thinly and left.

    The woman shifted so that her attention was fully on us and I could feel her note the visible marks on our skin. ¡°What did you do to land yourselves here? This isn¡¯t any place for barely trained, untried seedlings.¡±

    I felt the others glance at me but it was Prevna who broke the weighty silence. She pointed at me as she started to speak. ¡°She¡¯s being given a second chance after being charged with insubordination and attacking her superiors. Everyone else came because boredom¡¯s the worst.¡±

    The whisper woman¡¯s lips twitched into a brief smile at Prevna¡¯s last statement, but her expression hardened again as she focused on me. ¡°Insubordination and attacking superiors? I can¡¯t allow that in my squad.¡±

    So she was Mishtaw then. I kept my chin raised. ¡°I don¡¯t do anything without a reason.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re saying as long as I don¡¯t give you a reason you¡¯ll behave?¡±

    I swallowed back the sour taste in my mouth that the knowledge that this was my last chance gave me. ¡°Yes, squad leader.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s head jerked towards me in surprise and I felt the others shift around me as I ignored them. The squad leader¡¯s people didn¡¯t seem thrilled about our addition to their ranks either, but the big man in the middle, who was more muscle bound than looked strictly comfortable, chuckled quietly when I called her by her title.

    She pressed her lips together. ¡°Mishtaw is fine. I¡¯ll need the full story before I risk my people¡¯s lives with you, but you can all settle down for the night.¡± She gestured to a closed tent flap on the left. ¡°You can sleep in there.¡± Gesture to the right. ¡°Our quarters will be through there.¡± Vague gesture behind her. ¡°Latrine is back that way a few minutes walk. Can¡¯t miss it. I¡¯ll let the others introduce themselves.¡±

    Mishtaw turned and looked at them expectantly. The muscle bound man took the lead. ¡°I¡¯m Creed, Mishtaw¡¯s fire starter.¡± He patted the hip of the pretty woman who was practically leaning into him. ¡°This is Petra, my wife and the one who makes sure we don¡¯t forget anything important.¡±

    Petra brushed a few strands of wavy chestnut hair out of her face that had escaped from her half up-do as she nudged him with her elbow. ¡°Oh stop.¡± She indicated the last woman in the group, wide faced with a matching nose and black hair pulled into a loose tail over her shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m Eliss¡¯s fire starter.¡±

    Eliss placed a gentle hand on Mishtaw¡¯s thigh. ¡°Since we¡¯re introducing ourselves in a roundabout way, and Mishtaw won¡¯t think to speak about herself even if her life was on the line, Mistaw is our squad leader as you already surmised. She¡¯s also got a soft heart for troublemakers and happens to be my life partner. Abuse her kindness or threaten our safety needlessly and you will answer to me.¡±

    The threat was spoken without emphasis or particular malice. Just clear cold fact. I nearly wanted to thank her for it. The sheer comfort and familiarity exuding from them had been suffocating until that point. It hurt, in some tiny, unmentionable part of me, to see a group so at ease with each other. Rawley and her friends had had a similar dynamic, but I had some connection with them. Here, I was very aware that I was only an outsider looking in.

    Eliss tilted her head to the side in question. ¡°Your names?¡±

    We introduced ourselves and Mishtaw waved us off to the left sleeping quarters again after Petra handed Prevna a small lit lantern. As we headed for the door flap I couldn¡¯t hide the stiff way I held my body or the tiredness dragging at my limbs. I saw them note the fact that I was injured as well as the fact that I had noticed them noticing, but no one spoke a word on the matter as we disappeared into the sleeping quarters. No doubt it would come in the morning when we all had a chance to settle into the new, unexpected situation.

    A few sacks took up the far end of the sleeping quarters, but other than that the space was free for us to roll out our bedrolls and settle in for an early evening of rest. Idra grumbled about the lack of an evening meal, but Juniper silenced her with a look and Ento slipped her a bit of dried meat from her sack. I wondered how long it had been in there.

    Prevna stole the spot closest to the door and I ended up next to her with Breck on my other side. Ento and Idra settled on either side of Juniper near the sacks at the other end of the sleeping area.

    I half expected the others to bombard me questions and accusations about what happened, but the insular three kept to themselves as usual and Breck only asked two questions.

    ¡°Did you keep your honor?¡±

    Shame flushed my neck and cheeks as I looked down at the floor. Uncontrolled anger could hardly be honorable. ¡°¡­No.¡±

    She didn¡¯t like that answer. ¡°You¡¯re going to regain it here then?¡±

    I forced myself to look her in the eyes. ¡°Yes.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Good.¡±

    And that was that. She finished getting ready for bed and laid down, facing away from me.

    Prevna waited until the lantern was blown out. Edging close to my bedroll in the dark she whispered, ¡°Are you alright? Dera and I saw you fall off the path. You could have died.¡±

    I huffed out a soft laugh. ¡°Well¡­¡±

    The scowl was clear in her voice. ¡°You know what I meant. Are you?¡±

    I thought about lying. About blowing her off with a dismissive ¡®I¡¯m fine¡¯ or ¡®Why should I tell you?¡¯. But it was dark and it was a day that felt like it would never end and, in that moment, all I wanted was for Fellen to be the one there next to me. I knew they weren¡¯t nearly the same person, but Prevna was the closest I had to her and the truth slipped out anyway.

    ¡°Obviously not.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll make it back to the Seedling Palace.¡±

    ¡°Hmm,¡± was all I could offer her.

    She shifted back onto her bedroll and let me agonize over everything I had done wrong in past few months alone. Soft snores had been coming from Breck¡¯s spot for more than hour before my exhaustion finally overcame my whirling, incriminating mind.

 Book 2 - Ch. 27: New Hurts

    Getting temporarily kicked out of the Seedling Palace wasn¡¯t my only punishment it turned out. My body had its own score to settle. Gritty eyed and determined to prove myself ready for this new situation, I moved to rise from my bedroll and not waste a single moment.

    I ended up curled in on myself, teeth clenched against the lightning strike of pain through my torso the aborted motion caused. I breathed through it, long and as deep as I could manage though my side also protested against that exercise.

    I knew I couldn¡¯t distract myself any longer from the injury then. There wasn¡¯t any fury to fall back on, and the desperation, pride, and worry low in my belly were all rather tired and redundant. I needed to know how badly I had injured myself even if I had to ignore the compulsion to then make the solution that would help me heal faster. Diagnosing was also typically only within the healer¡¯s purview, but I was hardly healing myself by learning what was wrong; no one was really interested in learning how to tell what was wrong when they weren¡¯t allowed to do anything about it.

    Carefully, I pulled up my undershirt and looked at my side. Deep purple bruises covered the entirety of my right side from hip to armpit. I hissed in pain as I prodded the injury but, from what I could tell, none of the ribs were fully broken. Given the tenderness, bruising, and difficulty with taking a truly deep breath, however, I thought one of them had cracked slightly. The perfect injury for someone who wanted to be an easy target on a battlefield. A few torn knuckles, a myriad of scratches from where I tried to get the phantom ants out of my skin, and sore muscles that preferred to stay hunched in a ball than move didn¡¯t help either.

    Really, all I needed was a poultice of lattis weed, golden head, sleeper¡¯s nest, and the stalk of the corning flower to reduce the bruising and relieve the worst of the pain. The mixture could also help the rib fracture heal faster. But I wasn¡¯t in the healer¡¯s tent and I didn¡¯t have my beads, so the best I could do was gingerly sit up while trying not to pull on my right side with any sudden movements.

    Sitting up was successful on the second attempt. Dressing was harder. Each movement had to be slow and precise as I worked around my cumbersome and sore body or I paid the price by a reopened cut or aching pain. By the end of the normally simple task part of me was ready to simply go back to bed.

    I ignored it, as well as Juniper and Prevna¡¯s gazes. They had woken up not long into my small, agonizing trial but stayed quiet. The one time Prevna looked like she was going to offer to help I cut her down with a glare and she subsided with a roll of her eyes.

    Now they were dressed and ready, having finished their own preparations long before me, and the other three were in various stages of their own morning routine. Idra and Ento helped each other without a word of direction, though there were plenty of soft spoken comments and grins traded instead. Breck made a business of checking all of her weapons before even getting fully dressed for the day.

    Prevna left to find the morning meal and I followed after her, using the same stiff steps as the night before. We found Petra and Creed at a cooking fire not far from the tent talking with another unfamiliar woman with similar features to Petra, but she was a couple inches taller and her hair was cut short, barely reaching her collarbone. A handful of other fire starters were around as well, but I didn¡¯t pay them any mind. Instead my attention was captured by the four beads braided into her hair and the black designs on the back of her hands.

    The Black Handed Healer turned as Petra raised a hand in greeting to Prevna and me. As we stepped up close Petra introduced us. ¡°Trish, meet two of our newest recruits, Prevna and Gimley.¡± She gestured to the healer. ¡°This is my younger sister. Somehow she got the growth spurt and the talent for being agreeably nosy.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together at the contradictory description while Trish nodded at us. ¡°The whole camp has heard about your new recruits by now.¡±

    Prevna grinned. ¡°Good news only, right?¡±

    Trish huffed out a laugh. ¡°Interesting might be a better choice of words.¡± She glanced over us, more critically than before, and then her attention focused on me. ¡°While I can¡¯t pass up an excuse to check on my sister, I also came to offer my services to the girl who fell from the Seed Landing.¡±

    I refused to meet her gaze. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    Prevna snorted.

    Trish¡¯s smile became a bit more strained. ¡°You have nothing to fear.¡± She held up her hands, palms toward her chest. ¡°These stop too much life from gathering.¡±

    I ground my teeth together while I glowered at the large satchel resting next to her hip. No doubt it contained bags and bottles of ingredients and premade poultices and salves for the more common ailments just like the one I used to carry.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    Prevna jabbed me in the side with one finger. Hard. I staggered away from her with a strangled cry, hunched over as my hands belatedly rose to protect my bruised side. For one scary moment I was afraid the sudden pain had sapped the strength out of my knees.

    Prevna turned to Trish and spoke definitively, ¡°What she means is that she¡¯s fine with accepting your treatment because she doesn¡¯t want to get her head chopped off in our first fight.¡±

    ¡°And because her squad leader orders her to.¡± We all turned or shifted to see Mishtaw walking toward us with Eliss. ¡°You¡¯re no use to anyone like that.¡±

    I straightened and ignored my protesting body as she basically called me useless. ¡°Try me.¡±

    Mishtaw shook her head, somewhat jaded. ¡°Not now. Will you accompany Trish and me back to the tent or would you rather bare your skin to the cold air and entire camp?¡±

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    Logic won over the rebel impulse to strip out my cloak, tunic and undershirt right then and there. That was a child¡¯s tantrum and I wasn¡¯t a child anymore. I started trudging across the short distance back to the tent. Mishtaw took a couple moments to confer with Eliss before the other woman joined the fire starters by the cooking fire. Trish also shared a few last words with Creed and Petra, patting the big man on the arm. Petra took that moment to stretch and I noticed the fabric of her tunic pull around a small baby bump.

    Consternation swept through me as I swiftly brought my gaze forward again. I should have noticed that before. It didn¡¯t matter how tired or injured I was, that was something I should have realized within a few moments of meeting the fire starter. My training shouldn¡¯t have allowed for anything else.

    Was I losing my touch?

    It had been over half a year since I last helped treat a patient. Over half a year since I last properly prepared a healing mixture or needed to judge how injured someone was when they were trying to hide the pain and got snappy about answering questions.

    My hands got a bit clammy at the realization. Trish was walking slightly in front of me now, her long legs overtaking my much shorter steps. I eyed her medicinal bag again. Perhaps I could steal a pinch of rudy grass or puff moss to help heal one of my scratches on my own? It¡¯d be small, barely anything worth noting. Just a little something so that the longest period of my life without healing wouldn¡¯t stretch on even longer.

    But it would be healing. And I was already on tenuous ground¡ªthis wasn¡¯t the time to risk my chance to become a whisper woman just for a scratch. My healer¡¯s beads were gone. I had to remember that becoming a whisper woman was all I had left.

    We entered the tent just after Breck, Juniper, Ento, and Idra left it. They went to join the others at the cook fire while we sat in the tent¡¯s common area. Trish tended my injuries with surprising concentration while Mishtaw watched. Neither of them broke the tense silence that hung over us and I wasn¡¯t inclined to offer up information either. So I sat and suffered through Trish¡¯s attentions with clenched fists. She used a few plants I didn¡¯t recognize and I had to comfort myself with the thought that they were likely from a different region than the plants I grew up with.

    Finally, after my hands were salved and my side poulticed, she returned from gathering snow into a bag and instructed me to hold the chill thing against my bruises for the next short while.

    That done, she smiled at me. ¡°That wasn¡¯t so bad, was it?¡±

    I declined to answer and her smile turned into a slight frown before she left the tent again.

    Mishtaw waited for the tent flap to fall fully closed before she leaned forward. ¡°Tell me how you ended up here.¡±

    I briefly debated rehashing the whole of it, but there was no reason to get into every ill decision I had made since coming to the Seedling Palace. ¡°The Lady of Calm Waters decided to give me a second chance.¡±

    Her neutral expression betrayed nothing at the name drop. ¡°And you needed a second chance because¡­¡±

    I wanted to cross my arms but doing so would prevent me from holding the bag of packed snow against my side, and even I still knew that cold helped bruises. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve heard.¡±

    Mishtaw let out a short put upon sigh. ¡°This is your chance to tell your side.¡± A short pause and then when I didn¡¯t immediately speak up, ¡°I¡¯d recommend taking it. Otherwise, I might be forced to make the decision that you¡¯re too hurt to fight. With the chances of a seedling ending a war front in a month are already slim, I doubt you¡¯d want to try your hand from a sick bed.¡±

    I pressed my lips together in annoyance at her poignant point. After another long moment I worked the relevant facts together in my head and spoke, ¡°I attacked two whisper women. The first was in retaliation because I was attacked first without warning and I was already worked up from falling off the Seedling Landing. The second was because I thought Jin, the supposed seedling mentor, would come if I hurt Yule. She was the one who really deserved it¡ªthe other two were more of wrong place, wrong time.¡±

    She considered me. ¡°Would you do it again?¡±

    Given how furious I had been? Probably, but I couldn¡¯t tell her that. I shrugged one shoulder in answer.

    ¡°Do you often let your emotions control your actions?¡±

    ¡°Are you often in control after nearly dying?¡±

    Her smile was sad, but she answered my barb honestly. ¡°Not when I was young. But¡±¡ªshe gestured vaguely to encapsulate the war camp we were sitting in¡ª¡°it can become a commonplace occurrence after a while.¡±

    I blinked. ¡°But we¡¯re not always fighting with the fish creatures, right?¡±

    A hand brushed the sling hanging from her belt. ¡°More than most know.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± I asked, a little incredulous. There was the myth about the Lady Blue¡¯s creation, but it must have been ages since that happened, if it was even true. Not to mention the fact that it was little crazy that I hadn¡¯t heard more tales about something as big as a war until now.

    She brushed my question away with a hand. ¡°A tale for another time. For now, I need to know that you¡¯ll obey orders and not make trouble for my squad.¡±

    I swallowed before raising my head. ¡°I¡¯ll listen.¡±

    ¡°Why should I trust your word?¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to admit it, but it was the truth all the same. ¡°Because this is my last chance.¡±

    And I¡¯m tired of losing, I added silently.

    She didn¡¯t look entirely convinced. ¡°Attacking whisper women should have been your last chance, surely you knew that then and it didn¡¯t stop you.¡±

    I tried to hold it back but shame still colored my voice. ¡°I wasn¡¯t thinking then.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°And you¡¯ll always be in control of yourself in the future?¡±

    I looked away.

    I felt Mishtaw watching me before something completely unexpected happened. Approval warmed her voice. ¡°Good. I know some people who still haven¡¯t learned that lesson and they¡¯re well beyond their growing years.¡± I looked back at her as she sucked her teeth and seemed to come to a decision. ¡°You, and those that followed you, will join us in the field. If something goes wrong I¡¯ll deal with the circumstances then.¡±

    I didn¡¯t miss the implication that her final statement had more to do with me than something generally going wrong in a fight. She quizzed me about my training and what weapons I was good with, the terrain I was used to, and about fights I got into in the past. I neglected my healer¡¯s training and leaned heavily on my training from Rawley, but I still couldn¡¯t help but feeling lacking as she nodded along to my explanations without a word of disappointment or praise.

    Mishtaw quizzed the others too, when we joined them at the cook fire to break our fast and it was mildly satisfying to witness them experiencing the same frustration. Well, except for Breck. Mishtaw was surprised, along with the rest of us, as the blond girl laid out each weird creature and monster of Haggler¡¯s Cliffs she¡¯d killed with obvious pride and cold, clear detail like she was giving a report. It was also a surprise to learn that Juniper and her lackeys had grown up near the shore like Loclen, but Juniper refused to be any more specific than that.

    As we finished up eating Mishtaw cocked her head to the side in a manner I was learning to associate with listening to whispers on the wind. When she focused back on us, her expression was grim. ¡°Orders are in. A Shore Eater was spotted heading toward the east line. We¡¯re to help distract and dispatch the fish while two other squads dispatch it.¡±

    Creed frowned. ¡°Only two?¡±

    ¡°The rest can¡¯t be spared. Another was spotted an hour ago for the west line and there¡¯s still that crawler harassing our outposts.¡± Mishtaw surveyed all of us with her clear blue eyes. ¡°Be ready in ten minutes.¡±

 Book 2 - Ch. 28: Water Fight

    Seeing the ocean was nothing like looking out over First Shore Lake. It had a weight to it, as if you could feel the millions of thousands buckets of water making it up just by looking at it. Nor did I like the hungry impression the lapping waves gave off; as if the waters knew they surrounded the land, rather than the other way around, and they were determined to conquer more.

    The large white shape rising out of the water out of the water didn¡¯t help the impression either. The bulbous thing was still a good distance from the shore but the multitude of odd flickering movements abnormally shifting the water near its side didn¡¯t bode well.

    Creed said, ¡°Two score, probably at least a handful more.¡±

    My eyebrows crept up. How were a squad of four with six seedlings tacked on as an afterthought supposed to hold and distract at least forty-five fish warriors long enough for the other two squads to dispatch the Shore Eater? I knew in Mishtaw¡¯s eyes the six of us only made up of the skill of a single veteran fighter and that was mostly because of Breck. It didn¡¯t even make us equal with the other two squads who had six and seven members, respectively.

    We were hidden in a dip in the scrubland leading up to the sandy shore. Apparently, the Shore Eaters were drawn to beaches as they were the easiest to consume, but if we were spotted too early by the fish folk they would go harrying off to some spot we weren¡¯t ready to defend. They had already done a few ¡°feedings¡± at this beach before, but the whisper women hadn¡¯t managed to kill the beast before getting pushed back while the Shore Eater and its defenders retreated.

    The plan was simple. We were supposed to surprise the enemy soon after the Shore Eater started to feast as it would be more difficult for them to immediately slink back into the ocean then. When we surprised them we would drive a wedge between the defending fish, splitting their fighting power and creating an opportunity for the squads hidden behind us to easily attack the Shore Eater. From there, we were expected to hold out until the beast was dead and its defenders had also died or fled back into the briny water.

    Since Mishtaw plainly thought that most of us seedlings would die as soon as a spear was thrust in our direction, we had the honor of rear guard while she and Creed held the left flank and Eliss and Petra held the right. Despite the number disadvantage, none of them showed any outward worry. All I could see was steely focus tinged with perhaps some eagerness from Creed and Eliss.

    Not that that was surprising given that they were veterans who were prepared for a difficult fight. Each of the four wore shin length coats of thick, padded cloth and simple, ugly if functional leather caps protected their heads, back of their necks, and cheeks. Creed had a heavy two handed spear by his side that was longer than I was tall and a wicked dagger strapped to his waist. It made me wonder where he had found a branch long and strong enough to make the impressive weapon. The other three also had spears but they were more on standard with what I used to huntresses having. They also had slings and pouches of stones along with a dagger on their belts. There wasn¡¯t time to speculate on what that might mean, but I thought it meant something.

    As for the cohort and I, we also wore thick padded coats to protect us from an errant blade. Mishtaw and her squad had apparently stayed up the night before procuring the garments and cutting them down to size for us. However, there weren¡¯t any helmets small enough to fit us, so we had to take the risk of going without those and our weapons were more varied. I had my spear, sling, and knife as backup. They all had sling and their knives as well, but Prevna added a whip to her arsenal along with her spear and Idra was looking forward to trying out the stone hammer she had been training with. Ento had her dual daggers and Breck hadn¡¯t held back with a spear in one hand and lasso, sling, and knife on her belt. Juniper joined me in having the three most basic weapons. I thought the others should have stuck to them too, given that the whisper women likely knew what worked best against the fish, but they were determined to put their unique skills to use. Mishtaw, for her part, had noted the range of weapons with a look that said to use what you were comfortable with or risk death¡ªthis wasn¡¯t the time to play around with new toys. That¡¯s when Prevna¡¯s whip was returned to her hip and Idra stubbornly held onto her hammer.

    The Shore Eater was nearly to the shore, smaller shapes briefly popping up around it as the fish started to survey the surrounding area with more intensity.

    ¡°Blessings be upon the deaths I bring today.¡± Mishtaw pricked her wrist, despite not having a mark there, and let the blood drip onto her spear. I supposed that made more sense before a fight than shifting around layers of protective clothing to prick her mark, wherever it was hidden. And while pricking your mark was the traditional thing to do, if someone happened to have a mark with..awkward placement pricking their wrist was an acceptable alternative.

    Creed, Eliss, and Petra also pricked their wrists before tucking their prayer needles away. ¡°Blood and honor we offer to the goddess.¡±

    Awkwardly, and not in unison, we followed their lead and repeated the second half of the prayer. The others were already tensing to spring as we hurried to put our needles away. I shifted slightly, checking the healer¡¯s work once again before the fight began. A dull ache persisted throughout my side, but the intense stab of pain at regular movement had dulled to an uncomfortable twang. I knew the curling-up-into-ball pain was only a bad twist away, but as long as I didn¡¯t forget myself, I could fight. Grudgingly, I had to admit Trish had done a good job.

    Really, I was surprised Mishtaw had decided I could still come along, but she had given strict orders we could only fight the fish that slipped past the flanks and from the way she said it at the time, she didn¡¯t believe there would be many of those.

    It didn¡¯t take me long to learn why.

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    The enemy party reached the shore, but we stayed put as the two shovel-like front claws of the Shore Eater began to shove yellow sand into its maw and fish poured onto the shore, bulbous eyed and slapping wetly against the sand. Another long moment passed as the Shore Eater shifted its bulk to gain better access to the beach. It settled, legs splayed out grotesquely.

    Mishtaw bolted forward and our whole squad followed, close on her heels. Blood pounded in my ears in time with our near silent steps. We crossed half the distance between us and the landing party before one of the fish shifted, spotted us, and let out a burping cry. I shuddered as the horrible sound was taken up by the rest of the party and blue spears were lifted into the air in challenge.

    Despite Mishtaw¡¯s head start, Creed reached the enemy first. The big man pushed passed the first fish¡¯s defense, stabbed it through the eye, and flung the body off his spear and into two charging fish. The whole exchange lasted barely three seconds and didn¡¯t seem to cost him much effort.

    Mishtaw took advantage of the opportunity he provided and stepped up to stab one of the now off balance fish in the chest. It squelched and fell, yellow blood draining from its chest as she withdrew her weapon.

    Eliss and Petra hit the fish on our other side with equally effective and quick attacks. In the space of a handful of seconds they cleared the area in front of the beast¡¯s head and the other seedlings and I had to step out of the way as the other two squads rushed in.

    They dove and wove around the Shore Eater¡¯s claws, aiming for the base of its stout neck. One still got knocked to the ground and another barely escaped the beast¡¯s fetid, gnashing teeth as it shifted from focusing on its feast to defense more quickly than I thought possible. Fish defenders clambered up its legs and onto its back to help protect the vulnerable spot while others rushed my squad to steal back the ground we had gained.

    I made a quick decision and shoved my short spear into its spot on my belt before pulling my sling and a stone free. I¡¯d be more help with a ranged weapon and while I might not be a genius with the sling, I knew I wasn¡¯t bad enough to accidentally hit someone on our side with a stone.

    Stone in pouch, too close to the others to spin overhead unless I wanted to nail one of the taller girls in the temple, cross body spin then, build momentum¡­release. One of the fish on the Shore Eater jerked back and fell out of view, a stone lodged in its chest.

    No time to dwell on that. Load stone, spin sling, release. I started with two dozen stones in my pouch, twenty two left. Keep count, find target, spin¡­release. The stone went wide, but the fish flinched enough that it gave a nearby whisper woman the opening she needed to stab it with her spear.

    I meant to keep track of the entire battle, so that I could help where it was most needed and not be caught unaware, but my focus narrowed to the top of the Shore Eater without me noticing. Which was why when a disturbance happened to my right, Eliss and Petra¡¯s side, it took me a longer moment than it should have to process what was happening.

    A fish, twice as large as the others, golden orange with thick looking scales and claws where its front fins should be, had broken through our right flank. Petra was on the ground, spear still in hand but her left shoulder was bleeding badly. Eliss stood near her, skin textured unusually, no doubt her blessing, and only her dagger in hand. Her spear was embedded in the thing¡¯s side. Other fish started to swarm forward.

    ¡°Ento! Idra! Protect the right flank!¡±

    They didn¡¯t need to be told twice. The pair was already surging forward as I swung my gaze around to find Juniper standing with her feet planted, hands cupped together in front of her. Water welled.

    The giant fish¡¯s fist slammed down on an invisible barrier when it tried to pummel Eliss into the ground. Ento sprinted past her partner and the golden fish to the group of nine beyond. I got an impression of glowing daggers on floating circles before yellow blood sprayed.

    Two cries from the left flank. One whooping and unnaturally invigorating, the other a gasp of fear. I shifted and took in the situation there. No doubt Mishtaw had just used her blessing as well but the other shout had been from Creed. He¡¯d caught sight of his wife and hesitated, not for long, not much, but it was still enough to give the fish on that side the edge they needed. Sheer numbers were overwhelming the pair now that their rhythm was broken despite the increased¡­strength, yes that was it, and perhaps agility, from Mishtaw¡¯s battle cry.

    Breck wasn¡¯t about to outdone by Idra and Ento. She ran from where she had been protecting the outside of the left flank, where it looked like some fish had tried to sneak around Mishtaw and Creed when they were out of reach and busy. It didn¡¯t look like the blond girl did anything, but suddenly her presence pressed on my mind and all the fish within thirty feet of her swung around to fixate on her. Even the Shore Eater ignored its attackers for the moment and strained toward her.

    Breck didn¡¯t look particularly perturbed to have thirteen or fifteen fish rushing at her. Instead, she readied her spear. When she struck her spear ripped out the back of the first fish, which was considerably more damage than I thought she should be able to do.

    So much for being the rear guard.

    Mishtaw and Creed set about attacking the unprotected backs of the fish and, not feeling particularly worried for Breck, I switched my attention back to the other side.

    Most of the regular fish seemed to be dead over there. Ento seemed to have slashed them all open. Petra was back on her feet and doing her best to stay near Idra. Idra and Eliss had their focus consumed with the monster fish. Prevna had also moved into help, but she was just getting into position to keep the regular fish at bay, so that Ento could help with the main threat.

    Juniper¡¯s pearl was glowing and far more water than she previously displayed was flowing from her cupped hands. It ran through the sand and from what I could tell the new stream was a foot from the monster fish¡¯s fins.

    She yelled through gritted teeth, ¡°Bring him closer!¡±

    Again, Ento didn¡¯t need to be told twice. She ran across the sand with an ease I refused to envy, leaped, and planted both feet on the fish¡¯s back before jumping off in the next instant. The fish staggered forward a step, not quite to the stream and didn¡¯t fall. Ento slid a little bit on her landing.

    Eliss took advantage of the stagger and hooked a foot around a slimy fin, tripping it. The fish fell directly onto Juniper¡¯s little stream and a feral smile burned away any tendrils of the sad air that normally floated around her. Her cupped hands shifted to make an enclosed sphere.

    ¡°Surge.¡±

    The pearl flashed brighter and the water under the fish bubbled up into a sphere that enclosed it from head to toe. At first, I wasn¡¯t sure what closing a fish in water would accomplish despite the marvel of it, but Idra and Ento dismissed the creature as soon as it was enclosed.

    A minute passed and belatedly I realized the other two groups of whisper women had succeeded in killing the Shore Eater. Then the struggling monster fish began to bloat¡­and bloat. I looked away before it ruptured.

    That was when Prevna caught my gaze and we shared a moment of shock mixed with feeling a bit useless and distinctly out of place. Out of everyone we had done the least to help.

    I didn¡¯t like it.

 Book 2 - Ch. 29: Clean Up

    The fish were slightly too humanoid and rank tasting to eat, apparently. I didn¡¯t ask who had been desperate enough try it and Mishtaw didn¡¯t elaborate. The Shore Eater was fair game, however. The other two squads set about cracking the white meat out the dead creature¡¯s shell while we collected the fish bodies and their weapons. Trish was tending to Petra and the other wounded; Eliss had brought her to us as soon as the battle ended. Irritatingly enough, I was still in the top one or two of worst injuries¡ªonly Petra could potentially be worse off. The thick protective coats had done their job well for everyone else. From what I could tell the other injuries were a handful shallow cuts, a sprained ankle, and a concussion. Ento and Breck hadn¡¯t come out of their fights unscathed but they didn¡¯t have any serious injuries.

    Trish had yet to pull me aside to check on me, however. She was more worried about her sister and the one time we did meet each other¡¯s gaze she looked¡­uncomfortable. Understandable, but still unprofessional. Not that I wanted to be confronted with healing I wasn¡¯t allowed to use so soon after our last meeting.

    Once the fish were stacked in two piles and their spongy light pink and gray spears had their own pile, we began the work of packing snow into the large sacks two whisper women from the other squads had brought when Eliss retrieved Trish. I wasn¡¯t entirely sure what we were going to do with the fish warriors. They didn¡¯t deserve a funeral pyre, but there wasn¡¯t another decent way I could see to dispose of the bodies. The waves would only bring them back to pollute the shore if we threw them into the ocean and the ground was too frozen for us dig a hole deep enough to bury them all. Digging the half foot or so hole to plant the new pine tree seeds was difficult enough for the tribes being punished in the area.

    Mishtaw addressed Juniper and Ento as they added carved chunks of fresh meat from the Shore Eater to their bags. ¡°I didn¡¯t realize your blessings were so suited to battle.¡±

    Which was hardly surprising. Juniper, Ento, Idra, and Breck had all been vague about their abilities when Mishtaw asked about them before the battle, just like they had during the show and tell in the Seedling Palace.

    Juniper straightened. ¡°We acted when needed.¡±

    Eliss shoved some snow into her sack with more force than necessary. ¡°But you didn¡¯t care to share them before the battle. If you had, Petra might still be in fighting shape.¡±

    Juniper flicked her a glare with more authority than a girl younger than me should be able to muster. ¡°I decide when the pearl is used. No one else.¡±

    Eliss tensed. ¡°You belong to Mi¡ª¡±

    Mishtaw raised a hand and Eliss cut herself with a grudging expression. Mishtaw continued Eliss¡¯s sentiment but in a calmer tone. ¡°You belong in my squad, that means you¡¯re under my authority, and I can¡¯t tolerate those I can¡¯t trust to obey in my squad. Disobedience is dangerous for everyone involved on a battlefield.¡±

    I noticed Ento and Idra shifting closer to Juniper as the tense conversation continued and Juniper nodded. ¡°No disobedience is given, but I still can¡¯t give you authority over the pearl. That privilege was given to me by the Water Frond Snake and only she or the goddess can give it to another.¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± Some of the tension left Mishtaw. ¡°You belonged to the Swirling Waters Tribe?¡±

    If anything, Juniper became more stiff. ¡°The Waters do not leave the blood. The goddess requires our service for now but we will return to our duties on the shore.¡±

    I held in the need to scoff. I had never heard of someone quitting being a whisper woman. Even if the goddess didn¡¯t care enough about some random seedling to be possessive, I doubted the other whisper women would take kindly to spending time and resources on a recruit only to have them abandon it all later.

    Mishtaw let her delusional claim pass by in favor of a more utilitarian point. ¡°Then share the details of your abilities now so that we might kill more of the enemy and fulfill your duties on the shore, here, while you can. Usage of the pearl can remain under your discretion as well.¡±

    Juniper took a few long moments to reach a decision. ¡°We¡¯ll share with you, but the others don¡¯t need to know.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Mishtaw focused on Breck. ¡°You were also quiet about your true capabilities.¡±

    Breck shrugged from her spot near the squad leader. ¡°There was nothing to wrangle.¡±

    ¡°An explanation in the future would be wise.¡±

    A large hunk of meat went into Breck¡¯s bag. ¡°No one believes it until they see me wrangle something, anyways.¡± Then she looked up from situating the meat in her sack with a somewhat feral grin. ¡°But now that you understand, I¡¯ll wrangle whatever you need in the coming fights.¡±

    Mishtaw eyed her. ¡°I¡¯d still like to discuss your blessing in greater detail.¡±

    Breck¡¯s grin slipped into a frown. ¡°If you need to.¡±

    Mishtaw took Juniper, Idra, and Ento off to the side first, so that we couldn¡¯t hear what was being discussed. I wished I could casually drag my sack closer to them and eavesdrop on the details, but there wasn¡¯t any subtle way to get closer when I was surrounded by perfectly good snow on an open scrub plain. And that was besides the fact that we now had less hands with just as much meat being brought over to be packed and a stream of people with meat deliveries would only give those in the secret meeting even more reason the shift further from me.

    I did notice, however, that the other two squads had six fire starters between them, half of which were male. I hadn¡¯t thought of fire starters fighting before with the whisper women but, between the three squads, doing so was clearly the norm. I supposed it helped lessen the number disadvantage between the fish and us but, even more than that, the skill I had seen displayed between Creed and Petra had been surprising. Did all fire starters have to go through combat training like the seedlings?

    I mentioned my question in passing to Creed after he joined us from watching Trish patch up his wife and he took it all wrong.

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    ¡°Already thinking about teaming up with your own fire starter?¡± He grinned. ¡°That¡¯s likely two or three years off for you yet, little miss.¡± I bristled at the title but he continued on, uncaring or oblivious. ¡°All of us get basic training, self-defense and the like, because you whisper women tend to get into dangerous situations, but the rest depends on the sect you hope to be paired with. Petra and I both liked the fighting power associated with the Peacekeepers, so we kept on with the combat training. ¡®Course Mishtaw isn¡¯t a Peacekeeper, but she and Eliss paired up, and we paired up, and it all worked out.¡±

    I kept my expression carefully neutral as I prompted, ¡°Oh? What sect does she belong to then?¡±

    He chuckled more heartily than I thought my question deserved as he slung two full sacks over his shoulders. ¡°Clever girl. You¡¯ll have to ask her that and let me know what she says.¡±

    He ambled off to drop off the sacks near the tree the whisper women were using to transport the meat back to camp. I decided I didn¡¯t like him and his brute strength and unnecessary remarks.

    We kept an eye out on the ocean as we worked, but no ambushes rose out of the vast water. All it provided was the taste of salt on a chill wind and the lap of waves as a backdrop to the cracking-crunch of the squads breaking through the Shore Eater¡¯s thick shell.

    It turned out that the fish weren¡¯t thrown into the ocean or burned in funeral pyres or buried. Instead, the whisper women gathered around the two piles we made and pricked their marks or wrists. As the blood dropped onto the corpses they spoke a prayer I hadn¡¯t heard before.

    ¡°Heliquat!¡± More than one of us flinched as they cried out Her name. ¡°Your blessed gift you the blood and bone of the enemy who nibbles at your shores, so that you might remake them into what they would take!¡±

    Nothing moved or changed for several long moments and then the drops of blood from the whisper women began to glow red hot, golden yellow, black. A pulse of energy burst from the droplets and fire matching the color of the now black blood razed over the bodies. A handful of seconds later and the display disappeared only leaving a large pile of fine yellow sand behind.

    I stared as the whisper women repeated the process with the unusable parts of the Shore Eater¡¯s body, but the only sign they noticed something amazing had happened was a brief respectful silence after the second display of the goddess¡¯s power. Then they gathered up the spongy spears and the remaining sacks of meat as well as the pieces of shell that were going to be used to make something I didn¡¯t know about and that was that. Business as usual in an unusual line of work.

    I was gratified to note that, at the very least, I wasn¡¯t the only one among the seedlings who seemed shocked and off kilter. Sure, we had all unique abilities and fought against walking fish and Juniper had exploded one with water, but I hadn¡¯t expected them to turn to sand, of all things, with a bit of blood and a prayer. That wasn¡¯t what you did with the dead.

    But I should have known the goddess wouldn¡¯t be merciful with those that dared to challenge her authority, even if the knowledge that the next Shore Eater that attacked this beach could very well end up eating its former comrades was nauseating.

    We were almost to the tree¡¯s shadow to make our way back to camp when Mishtaw¡¯s head cocked to the side. The last of one of the other squads quietly began to take our sacks of meat and the few bits of shell we carried as Mishtaw listened to her silent message. She responded affirmatively before facing us.

    ¡°The commander is determined to drive us hard today. Single squad mission¡ªscout and report back. Petra, you¡¯re going back to camp with that shoulder.¡± She surveyed the rest of us. ¡°Too many of us will draw attention. Eliss, return to camp with Petra. Creed, Prevna, Breck, you¡¯re with me.¡± Mishtaw gave Juniper, Idra, Ento, and me a second glance. ¡°Rest and recover. There¡¯ll be more for you to do later.¡±

    The exclusion grated deep in my gut, especially after all my recent failings, but I knew better than to argue. Mishtaw had only been able to bring three people with her through shadows earlier. With the nature of the mission she likely wanted to be able to get in and out quickly without having to double back to get whoever remained behind. And while I had my doubts about Creed¡¯s ability to sneak, Prevna and Breck had certainly been trained in it.

    Prevna gave me a wan smile before the four of them disappeared into the shadow. Eliss took Petra and Ento back to camp first. She could only take two people at a time. Idra and Juniper talked quietly as we waited for her to return and made no attempt to include me. I eavesdropped with half an ear as they discussed the battle and what could have gone better or worse, but the rest of me was surveying the land around us, trying to answer a question that had been pushed to the back of my mind in the rush before and during the fight: why this beach?

    The goddess¡¯s great southern forest ended two hundred or so yards behind us, where it intermixed with the scrubland that served as the intermediary before the land sank into the short stretch of beach. The forest dipped towards the shore further to the east and the weird wall shielding the battle camp loomed in the distance to the west.

    The beach was in the open within clear view of the camp despite the distance. Nothing about it that I could see made it an easily defensible spot or supported covert missions to attack the camp. There wasn¡¯t even truly a lot of beach for the Shore Eaters to eat if they were given all the time they wanted to scoop up the sand. Sure, they could supposedly start on the scrubland next, but carving a path here from the ocean didn¡¯t seem all that smart. It was too far away and too visible to make the effort worth the inevitable cost unless the Lady Blue had a truly abyssal amount of Shore Eaters and fish to throw at us and no remorse about their loss. But if that was true, why wasn¡¯t there a constant influx of the monsters at the beach?

    Eliss returned and collected Idra and Juniper. Apparently, she liked me the least or thought I was the least valuable member of the group. Or, since she likely knew I couldn¡¯t die, I was expendable since I would survive whatever happened in the two to three minutes it took her to return.

    Shore Eaters to the east and west, clearly spottable despite their ability to travel underwater and enough numbers to cause a challenge but not overwhelm. The whisper women had been confident that they would come to this beach because it had been attacked before. The only anomaly had been the giant clawed fish, but I could fit him in as extra insurance to make sure the Shore Eater made it back out of the¡­diversion.

    My stomach sank.

    That was the only way I could find that made the attacks fit. Lull the whisper women into predictable and challenging battles while the true threat was readied elsewhere. But surely, one or more of the whisper women had to realize the same thing. They had been fighting these things a lot longer than I had.

    And perhaps why they could be lulled into familiar rhythms of battle.

    I glanced back at the pine tree¡¯s shadow. The whisper women might know and were preparing their own secret rebuttal, but on the off chance they weren¡¯t this was likely my only chance to investigate on my own.

    I was tasked with ending the conflict in a month if I wanted to continue on the path of becoming a whisper woman.

    No time to waste. I carved ¡®return soon¡¯ in the snow and hoped she could read it. Eliss would see my footprints in the snow, but if I hurried I could sprint to the forest and lose her in the trees. I hurried.

    I watched through the needles of a sturdy pine at the edge of the forest as she appeared from the tree¡¯s shadow further into the scrubland. She looked down at my message before twisting about and locating my footprints. She didn¡¯t follow them. Instead, she crossed her arms, shook her head, and stepped back into the shadow.

    I grinned. I had followed orders. I had ¡®rested and recovered¡¯ for a good three or four minutes before I made my mad dash to the forest.

    Now I was on my own.

 Book 2 - Ch. 30: Watching the Waves

    I quickly realized I didn¡¯t know what I was looking for or where to look for it, except something strange in the ocean. Given how big the ocean was and how little I knew about it, that wasn¡¯t very helpful criteria. But I also refused to immediately give up and run back to camp after skirting orders.

    My protective coat kept me warm and Trish¡¯s remedies would keep the pain in my side at bay for at least a few more hours, if she had any skill, which already put me steps ahead of what the situation had been in Flickermark. I wasn¡¯t struggling to keep myself and Fellen alive this time; there was time to think rather than just react.

    So I did. I climbed one of the tallest trees I could find on the edge of the forest and surveyed the coast spread out before me. Nothing new or unusual stood out from my earlier observations. I didn¡¯t know entirely where the camp was actually located in relation to the rest of the goddess¡¯s territory nor about the southwest region in general. I knew at least a handful of myths that were said to take place there, of course, but myths didn¡¯t often take time to delve into the strategical importance of different geography.

    I frowned as I watched the distant waves roll in. Why was the Lady Blue even attacking this region? It was hard to imagine a being so closely linked to the sister goddesses as stupid, but why would she bother attacking this region when the tree cutter¡¯s folly drew a glut of whisper women here? If I was her, I would have attacked the shores that didn¡¯t have such a concentration of whisper women. I pondered the puzzle as I climbed back down the tree before heading further east, away from the camp. If I was going to find anything notable it wasn¡¯t going to be within line of sight of the whisper women¡¯s base of power.

    As I wove through the trees and thought, several possibilities worked their way to the forefront of my mind. The first one that presented itself was that perhaps the Lady Blue wanted the tribes people rather than the whisper women and she thought they would be easier targets without their fire. But if that was the case, then she was in for a rude awakening. They might be weakened from the lack of cooked food and warmth, but the huntresses could still fight without fire and Peacekeepers would still be around keeping an eye on the tribes¡¯ tree planting progress. Not to mention the fact that, from what I understood, the planting was happening on the northern edge of the forest, far from the coast and the Lady Blue¡¯s clutches. Sure, some of the tribes likely lived in the area between during the warm season, but it was the cold season and everyone gathered together for protection. Besides, if the tribes really were her goal, then it didn¡¯t make sense that she didn¡¯t attack them when they were spread out and there weren¡¯t whisper women covering the area, and I hadn¡¯t heard of a tribe disappearing into the ocean.

    From what I understood, the Lady Blue had two primary goals: turn our goddess¡¯s territory into her own by eroding the shore and possibly make the goddesses regret creating her or at least acknowledge her presence personally.

    My next idea had more merit. Given how quickly the whisper women could travel through the shadows, perhaps the advantage of attacking elsewhere was rendered null. Instead, the goal was to divide and weaken the whisper women between two fronts: the shore and the tribes. With everyone¡¯s focus split she could possibly get away with more and when the strain mounted on the whisper women she could¡­do something with a more devastating effect.

    My third idea built on the second. If the Lady Blue was building to some grand plan, perhaps she wanted as many whisper women concentrated in an area possible, so she could take them out all at once. I wasn¡¯t entirely sure what that might entail but my mind conjured the image of the large wave filled with fish monsters from Moorkin¡¯s scroll and my gut soured. Nothing in my skill set could counteract a giant, moving wall of water.

    Nor could I act on any of my ideas now other than scout and see if I stumbled on anything interesting. I followed the tree line to where it dipped closer to the shore before breaking away from the protection of the pines to walk by the water. The sand line was thinner here than on the beach where we had fought. Scrubby grass and bushes encroached nearly all the way to water.

    I paused for a moment, glancing left and right to make sure there was no one near, and stuck a hand in the water. Bitter cold numbed my hand before I snatched it back out. Then, after double checking again that there was no one around, I touched a finger to my tongue only to recoil at how salty the taste was.

    I had heard that the ocean was full of salty water, but it sounded more like a tall tale than something real. I stared at the miles of water stretching out before me, nearly blending in with the sky where they met at the horizon. All of it salt laden and untransversable. A small shudder shivered down my spine at the inhospitality of it. If the Lady Blue had her way nothing would survive but her warped creatures.

    The shore didn¡¯t change much as I continued on. Part of me couldn¡¯t help but worry that I might run into Mishtaw and the others since I didn¡¯t know where they had traveled to for their mission, but the rest of me couldn¡¯t help but relish in the solitude. I hadn¡¯t been able to be so truly alone since I made my way up the Root Mountains to discover the truth about their eastern side. It was freeing to be able to wander and nearly not have to worry about running into someone else, to do what I wanted to do.

    Unfortunately, respite was the only thing I found as I scouted along the ocean¡¯s shore for the next couple of hours. No Shore Eaters came into view nor did any fish so much as break the waves. Walking along the shore gave way to the temptation of digging my toes into the sand. It was surprisingly warm where the water didn¡¯t reach. I knew I should keep searching and that I shouldn¡¯t leave myself so exposed on the water¡¯s edge, but I had been pushing myself for so long that it was difficult not to indulge in moment of quiet relaxation.

    As I sat there, enjoying the feel of the sand and keeping an eye on the water, I shifted through the myths I knew that took place in the southwest region¡ªI only knew one about the Lady Blue and while the tale was long, going over it again wasn¡¯t the most helpful. The few things I knew about the Lady Blue I had already gleaned from the story and nothing new stood out to me as I recited it in my head. She was angry and wanted the goddesses to pay, enough said. Most of the myths I remembered about the southwest were just as unhelpful as they centered around the goddess¡¯s great forest that was said to span most of the south. However, as I looked through the tales in my mental healer¡¯s tent, two myths stood out to me.

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    One was about a brave huntress who dedicated her life to exploring a vast system of salt water caves and making sure the goddess¡¯s presence was felt there. Surely, since there was a myth about the caves the whisper women knew to keep an eye on them, but that didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t take a look of my own. In the other myth the Sisters, two major rivers that ran nearly parallel to each other, were featured. Naturally, they ran out to the ocean. I didn¡¯t think the sea creatures could travel up them, given what Juniper¡¯s water had done to that fish, unless that had been another feature of her mysterious pearl, but they could also be worth checking out, just in case.

    Of course, scouting out the rivers or the caves both required knowledge of where to find them and the myths weren¡¯t specific. I could keep walking along the shore as I would likely run into one or the other eventually, but I could very well end up going in the wrong direction and I didn¡¯t have days or weeks to travel nearly aimlessly.

    I knew the smart decision was to return to the camp and share my ideas and insights after checking if the whisper women were already aware of them. But I wasn¡¯t ready to return yet. I wanted¡ªneeded¡ªan accomplishment that I could proudly point to and prevent any further looks of annoyance and disappointment.

    The trouble was accomplishing something more than digging my feet in the sand and keeping the bloody bits of the morning¡¯s fight shoved into the back of my mind. I wasn¡¯t squeamish, a childhood of healer¡¯s training had prevented that particular trait from ever growing, but my stomach still turned a little at the thought I had killed for something other than food. The fish were the enemy, so it shouldn¡¯t matter, but somehow it still did. The part I didn¡¯t like focusing on the most, however, was the certainty in my belly that the morning¡¯s fight wouldn¡¯t be the last time. Not with a war cropping up all around me.

    I brushed my feet off and tied my shoes back on before rising, still uncertain about which direction I should head in. Really, at that moment, I would¡¯ve put up with Ulo for the rest of the morning if I could have had her water breathing blessing in exchange. Doubtless, what I wanted to find was hiding beneath the water¡¯s surface. I considered swimming regardless and forcing myself to stay under the water, but I didn¡¯t relish the thought of being helpless against the fish in their natural habitat while I felt like I was drowning. Besides, there was no guarantee I wouldn¡¯t just black out once I forced myself past the point someone could normally survive.

    In the end, I decided to head back to the forest¡¯s edge for the cover while continuing to the east for another hour or two before doubling back the way I came. Trees, scrubland, snow, and ocean, unending. No cave entrances greeted me nor rivers blocked my path. The closest I came to that was a small stream I could cross with a running leap. I did find some berries to nibble on and practiced with my sling as I walked, but otherwise the journey was uneventful. Perhaps I shouldn¡¯t have expected my first scouting mission after being in the war camp for less than a day to bear any significant results, but disappointment persisted. I was ready to prove my worth, but instead I was just proving myself a nuisance.

    The return journey was just as quiet as the outbound one.

    No one was waiting under the tree the squads had used to enter the shadow paths. I hadn¡¯t really expected there to be, given Eliss¡¯s attitude when she came to get me, but my stomach would have appreciated if there was. The berries had helped, but they didn¡¯t replace a full midday meal. I swiped my foot through the message I had left in the snow and strode toward the camp.

    I blinked as I came close to it. What I had thought were briars were actually large roots woven in and around each other in a lumpy, thick wall. Either the fish couldn¡¯t climb very well or the whisper women were confident that they could protect the barrier. My side protested at the thought of climbing it, but observation and logic both indicated there was no other way for me to get in. Entrances would only be a liability when the whisper women could use the shadow paths for transport.

    I reached up to grip the root closest to me, ignoring the ache already forming from the movement, but as soon as I tried to pull myself up I slipped off the smooth bark with a slightly oily feeling coating my palm. I tried more times than I was willing to count to get up onto the wall, but each attempt just ended up with my butt in the snow and my side protesting ever louder.

    I wiped my hand through the snow after my latest attempt and glared at the stupid wall. My lips pressed together and my eyes felt gritty, but no tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried to will them to, just to lessen the bubbling frustration filling up my chest, but my eyes remained stubbornly dry.

    Defeated by a stupid lumpy wall.

    I refused to lower myself even further with the indignity of calling for help in the vain attempt that someone might hear through the tightly woven roots. They didn¡¯t want me in the camp? Fine. I could find more things out here to do. I didn¡¯t need warm food or a healing salve or anything else I might find in there.

    Arms crossed, I stomped away from the wall and my failure.

    ¡°Done already?¡± A voice called from above.

    I froze as embarrassment flushed my neck, ears, and cheeks red. Turning slowly, I looked up to see a woman sitting on the top of the wall. I could have sworn she hadn¡¯t been there when I started my climbing attempts though the grin in her voice indicated she had witnessed the entire thing. Her silhouette disappeared behind the wall and then a few moments later she appeared about a dozen feet away from the wall¡¯s shadow.

    Strawberry blonde hair pulled back into a tail, thin and on the short side, the new whisper woman looked entirely amused by my antics as she strode up to me. ¡°Let me guess, you got tired of the mob and ran free for a while only to realize you couldn¡¯t get back in?¡±

    My tone came out more defensive than I meant it to be. ¡°I was scouting.¡±

    ¡°Mmhmm.¡± She glanced past me. ¡°Find anything interesting?¡±

    ¡°¡­No.¡±

    ¡°Too bad.¡± She peered closer at me, though it was odd because it also felt like she wasn¡¯t paying attention to me at all. ¡°Do you want to?¡±

    I hated feeling out of my depth. ¡°Want to what?¡±

    Her eyebrows rose. ¡°See something interesting?¡±

    Stay in the scrubland and wallow in my continual failure or see what the odd whisper woman had to offer. It wasn¡¯t a difficult choice. ¡°Sure.¡±

    She grinned and grabbed my hand and I flinched at the unexpected contact. ¡°Name¡¯s Kaylan, little seedling.¡±

    ¡°How did¡ª¡±

    ¡°No proper whisper woman would be caught dead clawing at the wall when there¡¯s a perfectly good shadow to go through.¡±

    She didn¡¯t give me a moment of warning before the feeling of falling suddenly let me know we were entering the shadow paths. Inside the swirling gray and black place, she dragged me forward a couple feet before she reached up and made a pulling motion with her free hand while her heel thrust down through the oily looking ground.

    Which was how I emerged into a basket of roots just behind the lip of the wall with a better view of the coast I had just transversed than I had thought possible. Kaylan gave me a smug grin, propped her feet up on the wall, and settled back into the roots.

    She gestured vaguely to the ocean. ¡°If you see any odd looking clouds or fish or even just a whole bunch of water moving unnaturally wake me up.¡±

    Her eyes closed and I couldn¡¯t help but feel like I had been tricked. I turned to look at the ocean. Still, this was better than facing Mishtaw, so I sat and stared at the ocean some more.

 Book 2 - Ch. 31: Small Conversations

    Kaylan brought me back the Mishtaw¡¯s tent just before the evening meal, at the end of her shift. She whistled to let the squad know we were waiting outside before sauntering in at Mishtaw¡¯s answering whistle.

    The squad leader waited by herself within the main area. I quickly gathered that at some point Kaylan slipped a message past me and let her know we were coming, they knew each other, and that everyone else had been sent ahead to the cook fires. An odd mix of respect and exasperation mixed on Mishtaw¡¯s features and her voice when she addressed the other whisper woman.

    ¡°Thank you for returning my errant squad member, Far Listener, but you could have brought her sooner.¡±

    Kaylan dismissed the light rebuke with a smile. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have let her do anything anyways, since she scampered off to explore, and I got a good nap out of the deal.¡±

    They bantered for a few minutes while I tried to draw as little attention as possible and waited for Mishtaw¡¯s inevitable reprimand to fall on me. Somehow under the course of those few minutes I was sentenced to be Kaylan¡¯s nap aide for the next five days. ¡°Sentry¡± was the official term they used but I severely doubted anything would be different from when she picked me up today. Kaylan was more than a little smug as she left the tent, proud to have monopolized my punishment into a secure line of laziness for the next handful of days.

    It wasn¡¯t that I couldn¡¯t understand the appeal of the punishment to Mishtaw; I couldn¡¯t very well sneak off anywhere if I was trapped up in a basket on the high wall. I would also still be nominally useful watching the coast rather than being confined to the tent or otherwise being underfoot. She could send me off and focus on her duties, secure in the knowledge I was feeling the full tedium such a post offered in exchange for the stress I caused through my morning¡¯s wanderings.

    Still, guilt and worry and frustration wound together in a sickening knot in my belly at the loss of nearly a fourth of my time at the battle front. It might have been my own fault but I still wished she had lessened the punishment¡¯s duration.

    As soon as the tent flap closed behind Kaylan, Mishtaw narrowed her eyes at me, but the disappointment in her tone was more controlled than I expected. ¡°What was your reason?¡±

    Something like gratitude wisped by my heart as she recalled our early morning conversation even as the guilt flared as I was faced with the fact that I had skirted the rules only a couple hours after they had been established.

    I didn¡¯t waste her time with the excuse that I had waited a handful of minutes resting and recovering like she wanted. Instead, I told her the truth. She didn¡¯t seem to have Rawley¡¯s patience, but she had something similar to my mentor¡¯s presence and, between that and the knowledge that she had control over my success and failure here, I decided hedging and being defensive weren¡¯t in my best interests. Mishtaw listened to my theories and conclusions about the Lady Blue¡¯s intentions and tactics with a cool expression, only the tightness around her eyes and mouth hinting at her inner displeasure.

    It turned out that the whisper women did realize the small Share Eater forces were likely distractions, but they also couldn¡¯t allow them to nibble at the shore in case they gained an unexpected edge as well as simple pride. Shore Eaters apparently got stronger the more sand they consumed and the one we had faced was nowhere the size the elder monsters were rumored to be. Better to make the effort the kill the small ones now even if the Lady Blue was handing over the opportunity to do so for some unknown purpose.

    Nor was she surprised when I pointed out that whisper women were being pressed between two fronts and forced to split up their fighting power. The whisper women weren¡¯t oblivious to their situation, but nor could they abandon their hold on the tribes or the shore. Mishtaw also put as little stock into my idea that the Lady Blue was after the tribes as I had. I was told that people had been lost to the sea, but that was more from their own stupidity or an accident. The Lady Blue had no interest in things made by the goddesses¡¯ hands other than to destroy them.

    However, when I mentioned attacking elsewhere and salt water caves and rivers in passing before wrapping up with the speculation that she might be trying to take out as many whisper women as possible I saw concern flicker behind Mishtaw¡¯s stern gaze. My squad leader must have seen the questions that bubbled up as soon as I saw her reaction though, because she bundled me off to eat by the cook fires before I could ask any of them.

    While I started my supper of flat bread and salty, sweet Shore Eater meat Prevna filled me in on her scouting adventure. Apparently, they had gone to the large system of salt water caves and found activity there. The Lady Blue¡¯s fish had been guiding other creatures into the caves, but the most they saw of the other monsters was a spiny crest here and flash of gray scales there when they accidentally broke above the waves. The scouting party hadn¡¯t been able to get into the caves to better see what the creatures were up to. Mishtaw had deemed that they would be discovered if they tried and tipping off the enemy that we knew about their activities wasn¡¯t in the plan. So they had returned to the camp after several hours of observation only find out I had disappeared.

    Mishtaw had not been pleased, the other girls were sent to stay in the sleeping quarters until supper, and Eliss made a show of inspecting her knife and sling. Really, I was wary because I had expected Eliss to dress me down as soon as I entered her sight, given her blunt manner and speeches about respecting Mishtaw¡¯s authority.

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    Instead, she had eyed me as I approached the cook fires without intercepting me. I got the impression she was waiting for a moment when the rest of the camp wasn¡¯t around to witness her confrontation.

    That moment came just outside the squad¡¯s tent when she gripped my shoulder in a vice-like grip after everyone else stepped inside.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what excuse you spun or why you thought traipsing out into a battlefield on your own was a good idea. The second you acted so foolishly you undermined Mishtaw¡¯s authority. That causes hesitation and hesitation is deadly on a battlefield. If you were a whisper woman I would have flogged you for the insubordination. As it is, know that if I have to save you or anyone else, I will save the person I know I can trust.¡± Her next words hit like a slap. ¡°That is not you.¡±

    Then she disappeared into the tent while I stayed out in the cold air regretting that my search had proved so useless. If I had at least found something, achieved something, I would be able to point to it rather than silently take having my errors pointed out ruthlessly over and over again.

    Petra stepped out of the tent awhile later and stretched her good arm before glancing to where I had sunk down onto my heels. ¡°Beautiful night, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I kept glowering down at the withered grass poking out from the snow near my feet.

    She continued, ¡°¡¯Oh yes,¡¯ the plucky little seedling says, ¡®it¡¯s quite a lovely night¡¯. And I reply about how much I love to look at the stars on a clear cold season night. They shine the brightest then.¡±

    Petra waited a minute and then three for me to reply but I just kept trying to wait her out. I saw her move out of the corner of my eye and my hopes rose, but she didn¡¯t turn back toward the tent flap, instead she stepped closer before crouching down right next to me.

    ¡°What are you glowering at?¡± A pause and then she filled in my answer for me again. ¡°¡¯A bit of grass. It¡¯s the cause of everything that¡¯s ever gone badly for me and it holds all of my anger and despair and embarrassment. So now I¡¯m waiting for it to die,'' the seedling says. She¡¯s really quite articulate. I think about her answer for a while before I respond, ¡®why not just pull it out?¡¯¡±

    I whispered, ¡°That won¡¯t get the roots.¡±

    A smile spread across her face and brightened her eyes before Petra frowned theatrically, ¡°No, it wouldn¡¯t. Stubborn grass.¡± She leaned a bit closer, conspiratorially. ¡°How about I burn it? That should get them.¡±

    Feeling a bit reckless, I nodded.

    Petra reached toward the grass, ¡°Help me brush away the snow.¡±

    We brushed the snow aside in a six inch or so radius around the scrubby patch of withered grass. Then Petra snapped two, three, five times and set the wet, cold strands on fire in several different spots. Thin trails of surprisingly sweet smelling smoke trailed up as the thin, gray-green strands shriveled into ash.

    I watched the smoke disappear into the dark sky as the fire dwindled to nothing after a long minute. Petra watched it with me.

    ¡°Looking up is better, yes?¡±

    I pressed my lips together but one corner of my mouth reluctantly still rose as I realized her ploy.

    She noticed and grinned. ¡°Mistakes will happen, spiraling about them helps no one; learning from them does.¡±

    I looked back down at the last embers of the grass fire. ¡°Everything still goes wrong.¡±

    She snorted good-naturedly. ¡°Of course it does, that¡¯s life, but if you learn every time you make a mistake the things that go wrong will lessen overtime.¡±

    I didn¡¯t reply that time, not right away. Petra stayed crouched by me for another short while, looking up at the sky, before she rose with a sigh that hitched briefly when she tried to use her hurt shoulder. A sympathetic twinge of phantom pain echoed in my own shoulder that the bane pack had clawed.

    ¡°Jasper moss, cupster¡¯s seed, and rudy grass. If she hasn¡¯t yet, have Trish boil those together until they reduce. The poultice will help reduce the inflammation in your shoulder and help the cuts heal quicker, cleaner.¡±

    Petra gave me a long look from where she stood in front of the tent flap before nodding. ¡°¡¯Goodnight,¡¯ the little seedling says and in return I say, ¡®sleep well and thank you¡¯.¡±

    She stepped inside the tent and I gave her a few minutes before following after. Juniper was holding court with Idra and Ento in the main room while Breck was checking over and repairing her new protective coat a short distance away. Mishtaw and Eliss were also pouring over a sheet of parchment that looked suspiciously like a map near their quarters. A couple candles brightened the space. I ignored all of them and cut as direct of a path as I could toward our sleeping quarters.

    Prevna waited inside, playing a game of catch with herself and a grass-filled cloth ball in the dark room. She caught her last throw as I stepped in, pausing to watch as I stepped past her.

    ¡°Anything you want to talk about one horror to another?¡±

    I thumped down onto my bedroll, back to her, and started to work on taking off my shoes and new coat. ¡°We should sleep.¡±

    I didn¡¯t need to see her know she had just rolled her eyes. Prevna tried again. ¡°You certainly made things interesting quick.¡±

    ¡°I think you had a more interesting time than me.¡±

    The rustle of cloth as she shrugged. ¡°Maybe. But I¡¯m not the one who went off on my own. When there are bipedal fish around trying to kill us.¡±

    I continued getting ready for bed. ¡°None showed up. I thought I could scout too, but nothing happened. I didn¡¯t find anything.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be the one to do everything.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± The disbelief was apparent in her voice. The rustle of cloth came again, longer and louder than before as she drew close. Prevna sat next to me, uncomfortably close as she tended to do. She smiled knowingly at me. ¡°Allies, remember?¡±

    I let her wait for a moment, two, grumbled a bit inwardly, and then filled her in on my speculations about the battle, Lady Blue, and whisper women. I finished with Mishtaw¡¯s responses and micro reactions to my thoughts.

    Prevna summarized, ¡°So the Lady Blue has some agenda we don¡¯t know and something you said gave Mishtaw an idea?¡±

    I nodded.

    She didn¡¯t look impressed. ¡°I don¡¯t see how we¡¯ll learn more, but if it helps us get back to the Seedling Palace I¡¯ll keep an ear out.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t resist needling her a little. ¡°I thought you wanted to be here.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but not if we¡¯re stuck here.¡± A sly smile crossed her lips before she teased me back. ¡°Keep thinking about the possibilities¡ªI¡¯m sure you¡¯ll have plenty of time up in that lookout.¡±

    I scoffed, she chuckled, and then I let conversation drop. Prevna looked pleased to end the conversation there, regardless, as she moved back to her bedroll and I was too tired after another eventful day to keep up with her barbs and my side was eager for me to lay down and rest. For once, I listened.

 Book 2 - Ch. 32: Lookout

    Five days spent staring at the ocean, nearly a fourth of my allotted time gone. I did my best to make sure the time wasn¡¯t completely wasted as Kaylan¡¯s nap aide. My thoughts shifted from trying to figure out how to stop the fighting to reasoning out what we needed to get the shadow blessing in the Seedling Palace as well as possible hiding places to Fellen and Rawley to mentally running through my training and back again.

    I ran out of mending to do halfway through the second day and sharpening my knife and checking my other gear barely filled the rest of the afternoon. I had practice with sitting for hours from my training in the healer¡¯s tent, but my hands were used to being busy and now I had nothing to fill them with. The rest of that shift crawled by tediously without even a hint of anything interesting out in the water.

    Before the next day¡¯s watch I sought out mending from the others, and found it wasn¡¯t difficult to convince them to give me work. I also fell into doing the stretching and strengthening exercises Rawley had taught me. They had fallen to the wayside during my time in the Seedling Palace but, given how little room they took up, the exercises were perfect to pick back up in the lookout nest.

    However, the best hour during the shift by far was when Kaylan deigned to open her eyes and break out a late midday meal. She enjoyed telling tales as she slowly ate rather than eat in silence. My portion was always gone before the first story was done, but I didn¡¯t need anything to occupy my hands when there were new tales to hear. Kaylan seemed to enjoy the attention and I enjoyed learning two or three new stories a day¡ªa traitorous part of me tried to insist that it made the boring work worth it, but I knew spending more time than required in the lookout was a fool¡¯s wish if I wanted to get back to the Seedling Palace.

    Still, I enjoyed my time learning about the Lace Flower Lady and the green denizens that made up her entourage, ghost trees that cursed those who didn¡¯t pay the proper respect, and a Grandmother who protected her tribe with a wall of bloody fire from a landslide through the will of the goddess. The last brought to mind the unusual way Grandmother¡¯s marks had changed during the mourning ritual, but I kept the observation to myself. It didn¡¯t seem like a smart coincidence to share.

    Those tales all came from Kaylan¡¯s home region, further east in the goddess¡¯s great forest, but the myths that were the most exciting to learn were the handful that seemed to come from the whisper women themselves. Everyone should have at least heard of Moorkin before, but these didn¡¯t seem to be ones that had leaked from the Seedling Palace. Perhaps because of our circumstances, most revolved around fighting with the fish and other sea creatures. I learned of a whisper woman who had crushed a Shore Eater¡¯s skull with her bare hands, and the Wave Whisperer who would slip into the ocean and behind enemy lines to strike egg clutches and other vulnerabilities hidden behind the enemy¡¯s offense. The story that caught my attention the most was the tale of the Thousand Cut Witch who had bought us a fifty or sixty year respite from fighting the Lady Blue¡¯s creatures that Kaylan said we were only recently spiraling out of. The Thousand Cut Witch¡¯s morbid blessing allowed her to cut up to ten other creatures with a cut ten times as deep and long as every inch long scarring cut she got. Needless to say, she used the blessing with ruthless efficiency against the fish and stronger creatures until the blood spilled was a higher cost than the Lady Blue was willing to pay. Kaylan spoke of the legendary whisper woman as if she was dead, but when I asked she shook her head sadly. The Thousand Cut Witch was still a high ranking whisper woman, but she had used up all her skin.

    Sometimes after Kaylan¡¯s tales the image of the fish I killed would rise up, but the slim sense of guilt only accompanied it the first time. It might not have been a kill for food, but huntresses also made kills when necessary to protect the tribe from dangerous predators or animals crazed with sickness. This was little different; I had been protecting myself and the squad from an enemy that would have gladly killed us in turn. Once I made that connection my stomach stopped turning at the memory, and it helped when Kaylan casually dismissed the notion that such killings infringed on the goddess¡¯s domain during one of her tales. We were fighting on her behalf¡ªif anything we had her implicit blessing to get rid of as many of the enemy as we could.

    It was also during one of late midday meals that I learned from Kaylan we weren¡¯t fighting the Lady Blue herself, not explicitly. However odd it was to think about the sea creatures had some semblance of command structure that we knew about. Apparently, we were likely facing the work of a conch commander, whatever that was.

    I followed up that revelation with another question. ¡°Why doesn¡¯t the goddess take care of the Lady Blue herself? She must have enough power to do so.¡±

    Kaylan slanted me a knowing look from where she was getting ready to settle back into another nap. ¡°Could you kill your mother? Your tribe?¡±

    I don¡¯t have a mother. I kept that particular retort and initial response behind closed lips, knowing that it wasn¡¯t the time for it. My second impulse came nearly as quick; I wanted to say yes after the pain and neglect and how little she had ever acted like a mother, but even as I wanted it, I knew it was a lie.

    I couldn¡¯t kill her. Not just because it would go against the goddess or because she had birthed me, but because of the small moments when she had been vulnerable in front of me, when I had taken care of her, and the infrequent bits of praise tossed my way. Even more so than that, it was impossible to think of a world where she was not in it. I might not want anything to do with her, but I also wasn¡¯t sure I could understand a world where she wasn¡¯t healing and manipulating and doting on the twins.

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    ¡°No.¡± My answer was softer than I meant it to be.

    Kaylan nodded. ¡°Neither can the goddess kill her kin and, even monstrous as the Lady Blue is, she is still the closest being to the goddess other than her true sister.¡± Kaylan paused for a moment as she looked out over the water before adding, ¡°We fight so that the greater beings don¡¯t have to. There is a balance to be had and if the Lady Blue ever pushes too far, so that our goddess is forced to retaliate, then we will all suffer for it.¡±

    She let the somber note hang in the air for a long moment before a small smirk turned the corners of her mouth. ¡°Creepy, right?¡±

    I shuttered my wide-eyed stare and she finished getting comfortable as she huffed out a laugh. The whisper woman¡¯s eyes closed and I was left to curse her and contemplate what horrors the goddess¡¯s wrath could manifest on my own.

    - -

    The ocean remained undisturbed as far as I could see until my last few hours up on the wall. It started as a gray smudge in the distance over the water. There were other streaks of clouds in the sky, so at first I didn¡¯t think much of it, but then it kept growing and swirling, and when I strained my eyes I thought I saw glowing points in the roiling water beneath the growing storm.

    ¡°Kaylan.¡±

    ¡°Hmmm?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s an odd storm growing over the water.¡±

    She cracked open her eyes, stretched her head up, noted it. Then she yawned. ¡°I wondered when they would try. A little early this time, though.¡±

    I didn¡¯t keep the incredulous tone out of my voice, ¡°You¡¯re not concerned?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t say that.¡± Kaylan sat up, cracking her back in a stretch. ¡°How long ago did you first see it?¡±

    I calculated. ¡°Half an hour, give or take.¡±

    ¡°We have some time then.¡± She got that far away look again, like she was no longer aware of her immediate surroundings. I sat glancing between her and the odd storm for what felt like hours but I knew could only have been two or three minutes. She blinked and seemed to come back to the present. ¡°Sounds like a dozen storm singers.¡±

    She didn¡¯t elaborate for me, but instead found a breeze and spoke into it. I didn¡¯t hear a word. My eyes narrowed. That wasn¡¯t an aspect of the wind speaking boon I was aware of.

    Kaylan caught my look. ¡°Not everyone bothers refining their skill with the boons as much as they should.¡±

    I nodded before gesturing to the growing storm. ¡°Are we doing anything about that?¡±

    She held up a staying hand. ¡°Give it twenty minutes. You¡¯ll see something interesting.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to wait doing nothing, but I also didn¡¯t have much choice. Kaylan was my only way out of the lookout nest. She spent the time speaking silently into the wind and, I assumed, listening to things too far away to hear under normal means. Mishtaw had called her ¡®Far Listener¡¯, after all.

    I spent the time checking my weapons even though they would be useless against a storm, if that¡¯s all it was. I only had my eating knife and sling, given that a spear seemed unwieldy and unnecessary in the confines of the high lookout. I also wasn¡¯t wearing my new protective coat for the same reason. My cloak kept me warm from the cold, but if this somehow turned into a fight it could turn into a hindrance. Double checking my pouches came next. Everything was as secure and waterproof as I could make it by the time someone new stepped through the lookout¡¯s shadow.

    Stern, middle aged though on the later years of it, the black clad and silver haired woman exuded a presence of power. A large angular mark covered the front of her neck. I sat stiff, not wanting to draw attention by moving into a more respectful position. Kaylan snapped out of her far away look and rose smoothly to her feet.

    ¡°Commander.¡±

    The commander kept her gaze on the roiling storm while I tried to rise as unobtrusively as possible. ¡°You warned the others?¡±

    Kaylan bowed her head for a breath, more respectful then I had ever seen her. ¡°Of course. The ocean also sounds¡­different but I haven¡¯t been able to locate the cause.¡±

    The commander nodded once. ¡°The storm will be released soon.¡±

    Kaylan couldn¡¯t resist making one small comment. ¡°It¡¯ll be a tasty treat, won¡¯t it?¡±

    The commander chastised her with a single look before stepping up onto the wide lip of the wall. The roots didn¡¯t make for even footing but she didn¡¯t seem to notice that fact.

    The storm, a roiling wall of gray cloud and mist and sheets of rain, flashed with blue-green light before swiftly heading toward us. The feel of it was all wrong. It moved too fast, too linearly, while the winds blew across it. They had no effect on its course. My skin crawled and lightning the same color as the earlier flash of light crackled across the clouds.

    I flinched as Kaylan gripped my forearm without warning, but I let her pull me back into the relative safety of the overhang that covered half of the lookout nest and continuously provided a shadow to travel through.

    The storm swept closer with a crack of thunder that hurt my ears. It had reached the shore and would likely hit us in less than a minute. I braced myself for the impact.

    The commander tilted her head back and brought her hands up in front of her mouth like a funnel. And then a thread of the storm began to pull ahead of the rest. I stared at the sheer bizarreness of it, the threat of unnatural cloud and rain streaming closer, only to watch it slide over the commander¡¯s hands and down her throat.

    The storm thread grew bigger as more of the storm was pulled into the commander¡¯s power and Kaylan and I had to hunker as far back under the overhang as we could to protect ourselves against the whipping winds and occasional sting of raindrops as the commander swallowed the storm whole.

    Kaylan shouted in my ear with a grin. ¡°The Lady Blue might have her Shore Eaters, but we have the Storm Drinker!¡±

    I gave her a tight smile in return, but couldn¡¯t quite turn my gaze from the sight before me. Wind and water and cloud all poured down over the commander¡¯s hands and into her mouth. Some small part of me wondered how she was breathing, but I ignored it. Sometime later¡ªit could have been anywhere from a minute to an hour¡ªthe commander lowered her hands and closed her lips with a satisfied smack.

    The last haze from the storm faded away under the late afternoon sun.

    Seeing the commander use her blessing was amazing, awe inspiring even, but it was in that moment that I wished she was able to drink giant waves of water as well as storms.

 Book 2 - Ch. 33: Caught in the Undertow

    The first wave hit and the wall of roots shuddered. I stumbled but kept my balance as yells came from behind the lookout. The wave hadn¡¯t been tall enough to go over the wall, but the roots weren¡¯t waterproof. I could picture salty water forcing its way through the cracks, whisper women frantically gathering belongings and sending messages on the wind as water spouted from the wall.

    Someone cursed and I swung my gaze up to see Kaylan clutching at something over the wall¡¯s edge and no commander in sight. The pieces fit together even as the image of Fellen falling from a broken bridge blazed to life in my mind¡¯s eye.

    No. Not on my watch.

    I rushed forward. Kaylan had the commander by her forearm and was trying to pull her back over the edge, but the commander was mostly a dead weight¡ªshe couldn¡¯t get any purchase on the water and oil slicked roots. I started to reach down to grab her other wrist, but my gaze caught on something below her as I moved.

    The wall was moving.

    Fish, mostly blue-green with a handful of gold, covered the root wall from its base until nearly three quarters up. Many were already slipping off as the tightly packed, smooth and oily roots didn¡¯t offer good places to hold onto and fins weren¡¯t exactly suited for climbing, but they were here and there were at least five times as many we had fought in the skirmish.

    More movement caught my eye. Glancing toward the horizon, I saw the ocean rising. And rising. Another wave was coming. My throat went dry and lightheadedness fizzed across my mind. Not enough time, enough protection, I was trapped¡ª

    ¡°Gimley!¡±

    I snapped out of the beginnings of panic at Kaylan¡¯s rebuke. Reaching for the commander, I leaned further over the wall but a few inches of air still separated out our hands.

    She spat, ¡°Reach, girl!¡±

    Cursing my short height and hesitation, I hooked my feet on the wall¡¯s lip and reached. We clasped wrists. Kaylan hauled upwards with a grunt and I tried to help. But with half my body dangling over the wall and no way to brace my feet without letting go of the commander or my position anchoring me to the wall, I didn¡¯t have much leverage to work with. The commander rose an inch or so, but she still wasn¡¯t close enough to get a hold of the non-oily roots at the top of the wall. My side screamed in protest at the strain.

    The sound of roaring water came closer and I did my best to draw in a breath around the pain.

    Storm it.

    It¡¯s not like I would die.

    I twisted and pulled the commander up. I ignored the scream the ripped its way from my throat, the pulses of hot pain flaring through my bruised side, the way my foot unhooked from the wall. Kaylan renewed her effort at my sudden burst of effort and the commander rose. Not quite there. The commander pressed a foot against the wall, gaining us a little more leverage. Kaylan hauled, the commander pushed herself, and I pulled even as I continued to slip. Her fingers grazed the top of the wall. I shoved, more pushing than pulling at this point, and the commander latched onto the top of the wall.

    Kaylan reached down and gripped her upper arm and shoulder to help her up even further. I tried to scramble back so that most of my weight was back on top of the wall, but it was too late.

    I fell.

    The sickening rush of air streaming by. My stomach rose up into my throat even as some distant part of my mind chided me over how frequently I found myself falling lately. One hand skimmed the wall, but all I succeeded in doing was make my hand slick. Nothing to hold onto, nothing to slow my fall. Just the ground and enemy fish rushing closer.

    The second wave hit.

    It felt like I was punched in the gut and slapped at the same time. All the air in my lungs burst out of me and my head swam. There was no use trying to fight against the force of the water, no way to tell what was up or down as the wave slammed me into the wall and then dragged me further along on its whim. Scaled bodies hit me, sometimes cutting through my clothing, though I couldn¡¯t tell if it was on purpose or if they were also being drug along by the wave.

    I struggled to release my cloak. It bit into my throat, pulled along by the current even easier than I was. Waterlogged and pulled tight, the strings holding it together refused to become untied. The miserly part of me insisted that I didn¡¯t need to lose it because it couldn¡¯t kill me, but the rest of me didn¡¯t want to test what living with a garroted throat might be like.

    Reaching down I took a firm hold on the hilt of my eating knife against the pull of the water and pulled it lose. A long cut along my chin and few nicks later, and the cloak dragged free from my shoulders.

    Even with the cloak gone, my vision was starting to go dark from the lack of air. The desire to breath air was quickly becoming an overwhelming need, but there wasn¡¯t any. My mark started to burn, faint but there all the same.

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    The wave slammed me down onto a new surface and dragged me along it. Stones and grass cut along my skin and belatedly I realized that meant I was being pulled along the ground¡­and if the ground was under me than the other direction must be up. Up should have air. I gathered my legs under me along with my remaining strength and pushed off the ground.

    A childhood of living in a waterhole tribe finally aided me in some substantial way. Even I had been allowed swimming lessons. I let the current carry me, not caring about where I ended up as long as I continued rising.

    I nearly cracked my head on a tree branch for my efforts. Instead, a face full of needles gave me the split second warning to fling my arms in front of me. The bruises on my side screamed another protest as I hit the branch, but I gritted my teeth against the flare of pain and weakness, and clung to the branch. The water tried to rip me away with it, but this time I refused to give into its whims. I clung, vision graying out further, until I felt the odd sensation of air on my forehead.

    Needing no other encouragement, I tilted my head back and breathed in crisp, cold air. It tasted like victory. My mark¡¯s burning faded away as my vision slowly returned. I clung to the branch for as long my arms were able to support me. Then I fell a relatively short distance and Rawley¡¯s training kicked in enough that I didn¡¯t break anything when I hit the ground.

    I laid there and didn¡¯t move. The water that remained wasn¡¯t strong enough to carry me along with it anymore and I needed time to recover. No matter what images my imagination conjured up of fish breaking into the camp or the whole thing being washed away, I wouldn¡¯t be much use to anyone without some of my strength back.

    So I laid there and hoped that no fish had also been washed away near me and that all the wild predators had fled. I checked my supplies. Everything I hadn¡¯t used was still where it was supposed to be, even my sling, thankfully. My cloak and eating knife were missing, and I couldn¡¯t remember when I had stopped holding onto the later. I looked at the ground around me, just in case, but it wasn¡¯t anywhere to be seen.

    I did learn, however, that I was back on the edge of the goddess¡¯s great forest. That wasn¡¯t very surprising after the tree branch, though it was shocking to realize how far the rush of water had carried me from the front of the camp. Really, if the Lady Blue could pummel us with such strong waves of water along with small armies of fish, I didn¡¯t see why she didn¡¯t make it her main tactic or, on the opposite end of things, why the base hadn¡¯t been built further from the shore.

    Either way I wasn¡¯t going to get answers here. I rose to my feet, strong enough now that my arms didn¡¯t shake from the strain when I pushed myself upright. The cold air did cut through my wet clothes and I shivered. I might not be anywhere near fully recovered yet after the beating the wave gave me, but if I kept waiting the cold would get to me first before the rest of my strength did.

    The walk back to camp was miserable. I kept waiting for a fish to leap out and attack me in the fading light or for another wave to hit. Neither did. As I did my best to furtively cross the scrubland I didn¡¯t know if it was through sheer luck or if the fish were particularly bad at spotting tired, short girls doing their best to stay low to the ground.

    I got my answer as I came around to look at the seaside facing wall of the camp. The fish were all dead. Some had stone speared through them, others roots, and still others looked fried or had been cut open. The bodies littered the waterlogged ground in front of the wall, a testament to the wrath the whisper women could bring to bear when they were challenged. It looked like a one sided massacre. Most likely those with long range blessings had popped up on the wall once the waves finished and rained down the goddess¡¯s judgment while the fish tried to climb or flee.

    My gaze fell on a large spot on the wall where some of the roots were missing and amended my thought. Or break through. It didn¡¯t look like any of the cut pieces opened all the way to the other side, but seeing cut roots made my heart freeze for a moment even as my blood boiled. Cut roots might not be a cut tree, but neither made the goddess happy.

    I jumped a bit as I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, but rather than the enemy I feared, it was a group of whisper women collecting weapons and turning the fish to sand. Taking a moment to look past the scaled bodies and raw destruction, I saw other groups doing similar work.

    I headed for the nearest one. I had no desire to try to climb the root wall now, even if experience hadn¡¯t already taught me that it was a futile effort. The group of six whisper women noticed me as I approached and paused their gathering to watch.

    A woman not much taller than me and a mark scrawled across her nose grinned and called out, ¡°Little Diver! Catch any fish while you were out?¡±

    I stopped, brought up short by seemingly being recognized, the new nickname, and not sure how to respond. After a long, noticeable moment I offered, ¡°Looks like you all caught them for me.¡±

    The spokeswoman preened. ¡°Took out a whole clutch with a well placed hole. Can¡¯t do that very often you know.¡±

    I nodded, more to buy time than actual acknowledgment of what she was talking about.

    She continued on like I hoped, ¡°Commander¡¯s orders to bring you to her if you came back. Storms are bad business when they¡¯re not the goddess¡¯s work. No shadows to travel through, winds all wrong¡­¡± She shuddered. ¡°But you caught it and we made the fish pay.¡± She glanced around at her group. ¡°Save the dusting until I get back.¡±

    A taller woman with a plait of ankle length black hair meaningfully hefted her sack full of spears. ¡°Aye Aye. Get going before your mouth keeps the commander waiting.¡±

    We went, the short whisper woman detailing her entire experience from the wall shaking and water leaking through to being up on the wall and dropping fish into muddy holes. It went much like I expected. I even spotted one of the holes as we walked close by. Not that I could have missed it, given that my guide pointed it out.

    Once we reached the wall¡¯s shadow she took my hand in hers before leading me through the shadow paths to the shadow of one of the giant trees in camp. From there she led me to the commander¡¯s tent. All in all, it wasn¡¯t as large as I expected. Just two simple domes connected together and the depiction of a spear decorating the spot above the entrance. A fire starter waited to the right of the entrance and he whistled at our approach. An answering whistle came from inside the tent.

    He nodded to us and opened the tent flap before gesturing for us to step in. ¡°Squad Leader Hattie and Seedling Gimley.¡±

    Hattie stepped inside without so much as a flinch of hesitation and I was forced to follow without even a minute to gather myself and fix my hair, much less ring out my soaked clothing. I hoped the commander remembered how I had recently helped save her life more than she cared about appearances.

 Book 2 - Ch. 34: New Orders

    Austerity ruled the inside of the commander¡¯s tent. Hide walls, a handful of diligent assistants, clay tablets piled in organized stacks¡­only the things that had a fundamental use to her work had made their way into the tent. It made me want to peek behind the covering blocking the way to her living quarters to see if that smaller space was as blank as her work area, though I knew better than to try. Instead, I settled for taking in the two luxuries the commander had allowed into her pristine space.

    A tapestry and a hearth stone the size of my head. The tapestry covered the back wall of the tent directly behind where the commander was meant to sit and it depicted a pine tree beautifully limned in moonlight. I didn¡¯t doubt that it was made by a master¡¯s hand, though it was difficult to imagine anyone having the time and patience to make such a thing. The hearth stone looked like a simple gray rock speckled with orange flecks, but it was even rarer than glow stones¡ªthe heat hearth stone radiated out made them more valuable. Hearth stones were said to have been made by a whisper woman who could imbue heat into rocks that never faded. She had been lost to time and no new child had been blessed with the same mark. The stones endured. If not for the glow stones I would have considered them a complete myth, but feeling the heat on my skin from where it sat in the center of the tent on a low pedestal burned away the last of my doubt.

    The commander herself was studying a large roll of leather marked with various dark lines and painted stones off on the right side of the tent. As the squad leader and I stepped in one of the attendant whisper women rose from her cushion, picked up a colored stone from a bowl near the leather¡¯s edge, placed it near a long line of black, and resumed her place on her cushion. A suspicion rose in me but, if the roll of leather spread out on the ground was a map, it was a rather large one.

    Hattie stopped between the two rows of attendants and crossed her wrists over her head in salute.

    I followed suit.

    Hattie said, ¡°We came at your call, commander.¡±

    The commander turned toward us and even through lowered eyelashes, I thought I saw a hint of good natured exasperation flicker through her features before they settled back to smooth stone. ¡°I have no rituals for you, Hattie. Lower your arms and we can get on with it.¡±

    Hattie suppressed a smile, lowered her arms, and straightened. ¡°Of course, commander. The cleanup of the southern field continues apace. The Lady Blue doesn¡¯t seem willing to waste any more of her warriors with failed incursions today.¡± She gestured to where I stood, arms lowered and wary. ¡°I brought the Little Diver.¡±

    The commander¡¯s eyebrows twitched upward ever so slightly. ¡°Little Diver?¡±

    Hattie inclined her head. ¡°I thought the name fit.¡±

    ¡°Hm.¡± The commander swept her gaze over me but didn¡¯t give her opinion one way or another.

    ¡°You may go, sect sister.¡±

    Hattie did smile as the commander openly acknowledged a link between them that she didn¡¯t need to in that moment. ¡°Of course, commander. Should the fish try anything your Listeners will be the first to hear of our victory.¡±

    She left and suddenly I felt like I was alone with the commander despite the six whisper women and the single fire starter still in the tent. Then I corrected that thought. Given the unlikelihood of any of them attending to anything but their duties, I might as well have been alone.

    The commander made a sharp beckoning gesture. ¡°Come.¡±

    Feeling sorely bedraggled as well as just plain sore, I went. I did my best to smooth over my stiff movements and she focused back on the open leather roll before her. As I stepped closer, I saw that my initial suspicion was correct. The seven foot by four foot leather roll was a regional map of the coast. The dark lines marked out the goddess¡¯s great forest and scrubland and beaches. Rivers and streams, coves and cave mouths, were also drawn with delicate detail. The colored pebbles stood out against the dark lines in blues and oranges, greens and reds. I wasn¡¯t sure what each individual color meant, but based on the placement they likely had to do with troops, ours and the enemy¡¯s.

    ¡°Do you know why you¡¯re here?¡±

    Her question was less like a knife that drove into the gut like I expected and more like a soft rumble of thunder. Threat and warning, but also a promise of needed rain. I sincerely doubted she wanted an answer along the lines of ¡®because you summoned me¡¯ or ¡®I messed up and this is my last chance¡¯ which left me without a lot to draw on. Either way she needed an answer.

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    ¡°I was tasked with ending the fight in this region in a month.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± The commander¡¯s thin lips twisted up into a mirthless smile. ¡°Your involvement with the end of the fight does not matter. If you spent the remainder of the month recovering in the healer¡¯s tent and the fight ended within that time you could still return to the Seedling Palace.¡±

    I opened my mouth to argue, to ask what she knew of my punishment, before thinking better of sounding like an oblivious idiot and shut it again.

    She continued, ¡°But that does not answer why you are here. You completed a Trial before your first blooding, gifted by the goddess Herself, no less.¡± This time she acknowledged my look of baffled consternation and elaborated, ¡°Even if not for that mark on your chin, we whisper women are not puppets tugged along solely by our goddess¡¯s whim. There is room within Her ambition for our own. I am not alone in keeping an eye on the Trials and whisper women talk.¡±

    The commander let that sink for a long moment before she resumed her earlier point. ¡°That alone does not answer for the attention you¡¯ve garnered, however. You bear a blessing reminiscent of the Beloved¡¯s own immortality, however pale a comparison it might be.¡±

    A feeling of ice cold river water washed down over me, from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet. I shivered. That wasn¡¯t a comparison I had ever dared to make, though even as the commander spoke I could understand why others would latch onto it. Not dying wasn¡¯t exactly common and even if it was said the Beloved couldn¡¯t even be marred by a scratch to her cheek and I felt and dealt with every injury, the bare, most basic, baseline of living when others couldn¡¯t was still shared. It was like comparing one of the Seedling Palace trees to a scraggly sapling barely clinging onto a cliff face, but the comparison could be made. They were both pine trees.

    ¡°And now, before you¡¯ve even finished your time as a Seedling, the Lady of Calm Waters has declared herself as your patron¡ªbreaking tradition as well as her streak of not claiming a patronage in the last decade. You attacked two superiors and got a slap on the wrist.¡± Her gaze bore into my own. ¡°Do you know why you¡¯re here?¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡± I swallowed down the sudden lump in my throat. ¡°Those¡­things make me valuable but also dangerous. I don¡¯t fit the mold, so now you¡¯re testing for where I do fit?¡±

    I didn¡¯t add my final thought: they were testing whether I could behave or if I would prove to be a misfit more troublesome than I was worth. Which, in the scheme of things, didn¡¯t bode well for me. I had never fit in the way I wanted to and most of those things she listed had happened through luck as much as anything I had done. I hadn¡¯t chosen my blessing or done anything purposefully to entice the Lady of Calm Waters to patronage. I still didn¡¯t even know who she was other than her title. And I had completed the trial because it was either that or waste away in Flickermark while my only friend died.

    The commander nodded. ¡°Good. Perhaps you won¡¯t prove to be a fighter, but that is of little consequence. There are other roles. You¡¯ve earned yourself a boon. I will not end the fight in less than three weeks solely on that, but I will even out your playing field and offer you a challenge. Should you rise to the occasion I will ensure you return to the Seedling Palace.¡±

    My eyes had gone wide. ¡°You can end the fighting whenever you want?¡±

    She chuckled, dry and a bit dark. ¡°Of course not, strategy takes time and the enemy is not always agreeable.¡± The commander gestured, taking in the map and its icons as well as the camp surrounding her tent. ¡°But it is not wise to ever think of something as impossible when you¡¯re surrounded by those blessed by the goddess.¡±

    I hesitated before asking my next question, ¡°And the challenge, commander?¡±

    The challenge sounded deceivingly simple: kill the crawler harassing the outposts. She even took time to point out on her map which outposts it had hit, what part of the coast it seemed to patrol, and the danger of horrible blisters and itching pain that came from getting stung by its tail. I was about to ask exactly what a crawler was and about other important information when one of the attendants hurried over with a quick bow and tablet in hand.

    I was dismissed and a fire starter was ordered to bring me to the healer¡¯s tent. I recognized the tall and balding man immediately as the fire starter who first guided us through the camp. Mishtaw had called him ¡®Nadia¡¯s man¡¯. Nadia didn¡¯t sound imposing enough as a name for the commander, but names didn¡¯t always reflect their bearer well. I knew that well enough.

    I suffered through getting treated at the healer¡¯s tent even though I had to bite my tongue against offering advice or correcting a mistake four times throughout whole stupid ordeal. Sometimes I wondered how others healers got past the apprentice stage given the mistakes they made or the lack of thinking that went into some of their treatments. She would have had none of it. I mean, really, who uses weaver¡¯s grass and dried ring bush bark to reduce swelling when there¡¯s a pouch of frostbite berries not three feet away?

    By the time I returned to Mishtaw¡¯s tent it was long past the evening meal. She waited by the dim light of a candle in the main room, flipping her knife in the air and catching it.

    Her eyes gleamed in the candlelight as I stepped inside. ¡°You like to live in extremes, don¡¯t you?¡±

    I didn¡¯t have an answer for that.

    Mishtaw flicked the knife up in the air, caught it by its blade. Then she gestured to my sleeping quarters. ¡°Rest. Your real test begins tomorrow.¡±

    Feeling like I was missing something that I should have understood, I went. She kept flipping the knife.

 Book 2 - Ch. 35: The Seedlings

    Breck threw Juniper over her shoulder and onto the snow covered ground. The other girl barely lay winded for half a second before she rolled to her feet and tried to take Breck¡¯s legs out from under her. Breck side stepped the attempt before aiming a kick at Juniper¡¯s face. Another dodge, another retaliation. They were both going at it like it was a real brawl with something important on the line rather than a mock fight with a poorly cooked meal of skewered meat and blackened flat bread as their reward.

    Ento and Prevna circled each other only a few paces away. Watching them it was clear that Ento had the upper hand when it came to formalized training, but Prevna had better reach and she wasn¡¯t afraid to do what she needed to, to gain an advantage. A heart beat later Prevna threw a handful of snow in Ento¡¯s eyes and rushed her. But what had caught Ento off guard before didn¡¯t work a second time. Prepared for the oncoming rush, she found Prevna¡¯s shoulders and held her in place before kneeing her in the gut. Prevna went down and a noise of approval came from my left.

    Idra was supposedly practicing with her stone hammer there, but she spent most of her time watching Juniper and Ento through the trees as far as I could tell. I could have rounded out the numbers and partnered with her, but that suggestion had been vetoed by Mistaw before her and her crew went to relieve the squad currently manning the two outposts closest to us. And none of the others thought practicing with me was worth the potential punishment of getting caught once she was out of sight. I understood that falling from a wall and then getting yanked around by fast flowing water had done nothing to help my bruised side keep healing, but that also didn¡¯t mean it wasn¡¯t irritating to see their clear improvement while I tended to the cooking fire.

    We were hidden within the edge of the goddess¡¯s great forest, out near where the caves full of enemy fish were located as that¡¯s where the crawler liked to harass the outposts. Mishtaw had declared that morning that since the commander had personally given me the challenge of defeating the crawler she would intervene as little as possible. If the crawler attacked one of their outposts while they were there and they had a chance to kill it, they wouldn¡¯t let the opportunity go to waste, but otherwise it was up to me to trap and kill it with ¡°my group¡±.

    Surveying the seedlings around me again, I doubted there was a less accurate way to describe us. Juniper had been the one to prompt the morning¡¯s practice session and now the others were following her lead when it came to who paired off with who. If anything I was on the outside of an already formed group that could do well enough without me. Juniper, Idra, and Ento had been close since before they came to the Seedling Palace from what I could tell, Breck had paired up with them often once they were there, and now Prevna had fought with the close knit group for a week. None of them were very inclined to listen to me after I just finished my punishment for disobedience and the first dome girls seemed on edge now that I had taken them away from the daily skirmishes.

    Part of me was taken with the idea of just slipping off and fighting the crawler on my own, but even I could recognize that was worse than foolhardy given my injuries and the difficulty the whisper women had with holding it down. But it also didn¡¯t seem very realistic to expect the other seedlings to suddenly drop the dynamic they¡¯ve built and do whatever I say because I was given a mission.

    Frustration boiled in my gut. Things were so much easier when everyone and everything wasn¡¯t pushing me to work with others. When I could take care of my business and know that it was done well, simple as that.

    Ambition is nothing without discipline.

    Her mantra came unbidden and unwanted as always, but I still couldn¡¯t deny the truth in the words. I wasn¡¯t going to get any closer to killing the crawler glowering at the fire and ignoring my best option of achieving the goal.

    ¡°Have you fought a crawler before?¡± I directed question at Juniper and she smoothly disengaged from the second round of fighting she was about to start with Breck. A look and tilt of her head got Idra to leave off her half hearted practice and engage Breck instead.

    I might not be able to force the younger girl¡¯s followers to listen to me instead, but if I convinced Juniper to help the rest would likely fall in line.

    Juniper eyed the crispy meat and burnt bread as she came over. Her lips thinned in distaste but she didn¡¯t waste words complaining about the midday meal. She didn¡¯t sit down and take any food in hand either.

    Instead, she filled a small bowl on her belt with water using her blessing and started to wash off the sweat from her bouts. ¡°Do you actually mean to kill it?¡±

    My eyebrows furrowed. ¡°What else would I do with it?¡±

    Pale blue-gray eyes met mine. ¡°You could not follow through. Stomping around and brooding seems to be your preferred option.¡±

    I narrowed my eyes back at her. ¡°That¡¯s a bush calling a pine tree green.¡±

    Juniper shrugged as she mopped the back of her neck. ¡°I don¡¯t stomp and I wasn¡¯t where I was meant to be.¡±

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    ¡°Your mark indicates otherwise.¡±

    ¡°My mark,¡± her fingers brushed over the three pronged design on her ankle,¡±and blessing are exactly what my people need.¡± Her features hardened. ¡°My people are not in the Seedling Palace.¡± After a few moments Juniper drew in a breath, like she was clearing her thoughts. ¡°You enabled the others and I to come here and do our duty. If you actually mean to kill one of the Devouring Blue¡¯s creatures then I am duty bound to help.¡± I waited for the catch and she gave it to me. ¡°But I have conditions.¡±

    I kept my back straight and gaze aloof. As if she wasn¡¯t handing me a thing I had thought I would have to beg for, but also hadn¡¯t been willing to degrade myself by doing so. ¡°Conditions?¡±

    She plopped her rag into the bowl and held up a finger. ¡°You will swear to the goddess that you will complete this challenge, so we have more than an empty promise and your whim to go on.¡± A second finger rose. ¡°Idra and Ento will answer to me first. I can¡¯t speak for the others but they have duties outside of killing a crawler.¡± A third finger joined the others. ¡°And you will cleanse yourself of the misfortune following you. We don¡¯t need any extra difficulties adding to this challenge.¡±

    I had never put much stock in the notion of misfortune and fortune being ambient things that followed a person around and that could be bartered for or cleaned away. Cause and effect made much more sense to me, people¡¯s actions and reactions, but what could it hurt? At best, the downward spiral I¡¯d been on would turn and, at worst, I would still gain Juniper and her lackeys as allies.

    ¡°Fine.¡± I leaned forward. ¡°But I have a condition of my own.¡±

    She cocked her head in question.

    I answered, ¡°You will tell me everything you know about the creatures we¡¯re fighting.¡±

    Her lips twitched into the briefest of smiles. ¡°We will share anything relevant.¡±

    I debated pressing her for a handful of moments, but the risk wasn¡¯t worth it. Her answer would have to do. ¡°Fine.¡± Then I repeated the question that had started the whole conversation. ¡°Have you fought a crawler before?¡±

    It turned out that she hadn¡¯t, but Ento had when she was helping her mentor keep watch one night. I learned that crawlers were flat bodied creatures, shaped like an elongated diamond from wing tip to wing tip and long whip thin tail trailing out behind. Ento said the one she saw looked like two pieces of cloth rippling together and long whiskers trailed out from its nose. Despite their wing like fins they didn¡¯t fly and, despite their name, the creatures didn¡¯t truly crawl; instead, they moved by gliding with the water and rippling their whole body. Crawlers could camouflage with their surroundings and curl themselves into tiny spaces. The one Ento had fought had fit into a tiny space between two rocks before launching an ambush. They were sentries and harassers, good for distractions and draining fighters¡¯ reserves and moral.

    The one I was tasked with seemed to fit that role well. Given the regularity of its attacks, it knew where our outposts were located and I doubted whisper women wanted to be tasked to those outposts, especially when they had to contend with an enemy that kept getting away after delivering painful injuries.

    The other seedlings slowly trickled over after Juniper called over Ento, drawn in by her story and curiosity. Breck ate her portion of the midday meal as if she didn¡¯t even notice that it was burnt while Prevna also took hers and picked around the worst bits. She offered me a partially playful, partially mocking smile as she did so and I made sure to take a big bite of my meal without wincing. Prevna snorted and we focused back on the discussion at hand.

    Idra didn¡¯t seem thrilled at the idea of helping me, but she didn¡¯t argue with Juniper about it. Not in front of the group. I doubted that would last once they had a bit of privacy. Ento and Breck were ready to keep putting their fighting skills to use. Prevna gave me one of her knowing looks before shrugging and commenting that it sounded like fun.

    We spent the next several hours coming up with a plan. Half the trouble was not knowing where it would attack next and we didn¡¯t have the whisper women¡¯s ability to jump through shadows even if a message on the wind reached other whisper women quick enough. Mishtaw had made it clear we were to make this work with our limits and abilities. They would be near in case something drastically unexpected happened or went wrong, but otherwise we were on our own.

    As soon as a plan was devised Juniper stood up. ¡°You need to wash off your misfortune before we do anything else.¡±

    I stood as well before everyone else followed suit. Apparently, cleansing yourself of misfortune was more exciting than picking at burnt food. Juniper led us to the shore. It wasn¡¯t that long of a walk considering that the goddess¡¯s forest pushed close to beaches here. As we walked I looked for a pair of whisper women watching the waves, but the outpost, to my eyes at least, was well hidden.

    Juniper gestured to the salty water. ¡°Go in.¡±

    I stared at her, incredulous. ¡°That¡¯s where the enemy is.¡±

    She was implacable. ¡°Infect the Lady and her minions with your misfortune, not us. Will it to them and the waves will wash it away. Then you can swear, like you promised.¡±

    Prevna lifted her chin. ¡°I¡¯ll keep watch.¡±

    I pressed my lips together and kept myself from arguing further. The whole thing was stupid, but the sooner I got in the water and got out again, the sooner we could move forward. I didn¡¯t really want to strip, but ruining my gear and walking around during the cold season in wet gear was about as foolish as entering enemy territory willingly.

    So I stripped down to my undershirt and Prevna and Breck kept a close guard behind me.

    Juniper called after us, ¡°Make sure you duck under! So nothing sticks!¡±

    I huffed out a breath in annoyance before checking that Prevna and Breck really were ready and close by in case the crawler happened to be hiding right where I was about to step. I told myself that it was a whole ocean, more water than I could imagine. Surely, nothing would be right here.

    My first step into the biting cold water was still very ginger.

    Feeling only wet sand and salty water I hurried forward until I reached a spot where I could crouch down enough that the next wave passed over my head. I willed my misfortune on the Lady Blue. Pictured her creatures'' attacks being routed and jumbled, accidents ruining their efforts, and a dead crawler hanging limply from my hand.

    Then I hurried back out of the blue abyss and swore to Juniper that I would see the plan through. Still, I didn¡¯t relax until I was fully clothed and back aways in the forest. Nothing might not have gone wrong this time, but that only meant it was more likely to the next.

 Book 2 - Ch. 36: Ambush

    Our plan was simple. The others would incapacitate the crawler and then I would come in for the final blow. That was what had caused at least half of the arguing when we were trying to come up with a plan. I wanted no question about whether I had completed my challenge and Juniper wouldn¡¯t let go of her irritatingly good point that Breck, Ento, or even Prevna were more equipped to kill the flat fish than me, given their blessings. She didn¡¯t point out that she also had me beat give the extra skill her pearl gave her at manipulating the water she conjured though the whole group thought it. Idra was the only who was on par with me in terms of only having normal weapons to attack with, but she was put on protection duty. After all, her blessing could protect multiple people rather than just making one person suffer through wounds they should have died from.

    In the end, Prevna was able to mediate things and it was decided that I would have my chance, but if it went wrong then all bets were off, and whoever had the chance to kill the crawler, killed it. Which left us with the problem of how to get close to the creature in the first place.

    Given that we had no reliable way to know which outpost the crawler would attack next or a way to get to the fight quicker than running, if we even somehow knew about it, we opted to be as obnoxious as possible. If we were recognized as an easy target hopefully the crawler would go after us rather than one of the actual outpost patrols.

    We walked along the beaches and grassy shores, straying much closer to the waves than the other patrols did. Sometimes the others, Idra and Prevna especially, would enter the shallows on a dare¡ªthough I noticed that Idra or Ento always made sure one of them were always between Juniper and the water. We lingered in the ambush spots the crawler had used before and tried to make ourselves seem as easy to attack as possible. All in all, it felt like my earlier walk along the shore but now I had less quiet to think and just as much bored frustration.

    I didn¡¯t like leaving my future in the hands of some creature and whether or not it decided to attack me. I wanted to get the whole thing over with, not wander along the same predictable path for the fourth day in a row. In my head, I knew the longer recovery time before fighting again was beneficial and that I still had most of my alloted time before I needed the fighting to be done, but I couldn¡¯t help but hate the passivity of the whole thing. Everyone else kept getting to show off with their blessings while my main contribution was falling off of high places.

    My hand kept straying to my sling, which of course, reminded me of Fellen and her fidgety habit. I kicked a pebble out of my way on the beach and ignored the impulse to brush my hand against my poisoner¡¯s pouch and the fabric leaf it protected instead. She was still better off without me.

    ¡°If you frown any harder your lips will fall off.¡± Prevna stepped up next to me on my right and leaving barely a step of space between our shoulders.

    ¡°Go away.¡±

    She snorted and kept pace with me.

    I waited for her to talk, waited for her leave, but she just kept walking uncomfortably close. Breck trailed behind us while Idra and Ento were playing a competitive game of catch with a grass stuffed pouch. Juniper kept track of the points between them.

    I pursed my lips and refused to look directly at her. ¡°What do you want?¡±

    Prevna shrugged out of the corner of my eye. ¡°To not be bored.¡±

    I gestured sharply to the antics ahead of us. ¡°You can join them.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think they¡¯d appreciate the interruption.¡±

    I glowered at her then.

    Prevna smirked. ¡°You¡¯re too entertaining not to.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°Sure.¡±

    She kept silent for another minute or so before asking, ¡°Have you ever played Recall?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± I snapped.

    Prevna started to describe the shallow lake at Grislander¡¯s Maw and I called her on it. She smiled back at me. ¡°Just checking.¡±

    Then she started describing an animal that took me slightly longer to place. Shaggy coat, short stature¡­the squashed nose was what gave it away.

    ¡°Shaggy coated boar,¡± of course she would start with the game her band had stolen from us when we first met.

    I talked around the description of a snow berry bush but she still got it after a couple minutes. We went back and forth like that, though we didn¡¯t have a lot of shared memories or places to draw on, so we fell to describing more common plants or animals. Once Prevna tried to trick me by describing a place out of legend and I caught her out on it so quick she wasn¡¯t amused. As we wound our way up into that new argument about what was or was not allowed in the game the air changed.

    Everyone noticed it. The close knit trio cut themselves off in the middle of their game and I heard Breck shift on the sand behind me. Even with the distractions, none of us had forgotten that we were out here to be attacked. We wore our protective coats and all our weapons were ready to be used at a moment¡¯s notice.

    That did not prepare us for what came next.

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    We were expecting a smaller creature, a single crawler.

    That is not what we got.

    A tentacle thicker than my waist snaked out of the ocean and wrapped around Idra¡¯s waist. She was the closest to the water. Her scream cut off as the tentacle bashed her against the ground in the next instant. For a sickening moment I thought her neck was broken, but then I saw her feet kick against the air as she struggled to free herself.

    Ento was already moving, her blessing of blades already spinning around her, as the tentacle lifted her friend again. Juniper was pulling her spear free¡ª

    I dropped to the ground and narrowly avoided being caught by a new tentacle. Prevna stabbed her eating knife into it at the same time. Something off the shore screeched and both tentacles recoiled, dripping yellow blood. I blinked making sure I had that right as I rolled to my feet.

    A glance to the side confirmed that Idra was on the ground on her hands and knees, nothing around her waist.

    Juniper made a firm beckoning gesture. ¡°Run!¡±

    We ran towards them, Breck on our heels. The wet slap of fin against sand also came from behind us and the side. Chancing another glance, I saw a dozen¡­no, two dozen fish coming after us all armed with spears. My throat went dry.

    We had no whisper women, no true adults, with us, but just like the bane pack in Flickermark these creatures meant to kill us. Six barely trained seedlings against two dozen fish and the same kind of creature that attacked the wall separating the Seedling Palace from the lake. The creature it had taken two lightning strikes, a whirlpool, and a sand cloud to kill.

    As soon as we were within ten feet of Idra a slight feeling of pressure pressed against me as her protective dome snapped into place. We stopped next to the other three, panting, as the fish chasing us slammed into the barrier and were sent sprawling back onto the sand. Another screech sounded and three tentacles lashed out from the water. The air shook as they pounded into the dome but it held.

    ¡°Hold long can you hold the dome?¡± I spat the question down at Idra.

    ¡°As long as we need,¡± she ground out through clenched teeth.

    Juniper crouched in front of Idra and caught her gaze. ¡°How long can you hold?¡±

    Two tentacles slammed against the dome again as the fish tried bashing it with their spears. Idra¡¯s gaze slipped to the sand between her elbows. ¡°Like this? Five minutes.¡±

    Juniper nodded and rose back to her feet. ¡°Anything that goes out the dome while it¡¯s up stays out. I suggest attacking what you can.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t resist adding in my own directions. ¡°Breck, when the dome falls pull what fish are left to you. Ento, protect the others.¡± I turned to Prevna. ¡°What poison do you have?¡±

    She straightened her spine. ¡°Black Root still, and two fingers of Asper¡¯s Love.¡±

    The Black Root could debilitate the creature though I doubted it would kill it. Asper¡¯s Love was the venom of the Heart Backed Asper. In the tiniest of doses it could help slow the heartbeat and it mixed well with other ingredients, but obtaining it without receiving a full, deadly bite from the snake was rare and difficult. I didn¡¯t know how she had gotten access to some and at that moment I didn¡¯t care. All I knew was that Asper¡¯s Love in large doses was deadly.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to push it all into that large monster.¡±

    Her eyes went wide. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    I cut her off. ¡°It might not kill it, but the damage should drive it away or weaken it enough we can take it out.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t entirely sure if the last part was a lie or not.

    Prevna didn¡¯t call me on it. ¡°Okay. Fine, but this is crazy.¡±

    The others were already readying their slings. Breck glanced over with a wild grin as she stepped away from the group and started to spin her sling. ¡°The best fights are.¡±

    She loosed the stone from her sling and it connected with a fish¡¯s head. The fish went down and didn¡¯t rise.

    We all followed her lead. We got ten fish before they caught on to their trouble and fell back. Juniper, Breck, and I all got one more each before they slipped back into the waves. Idra had her arms wrapped around her head at that point and she groaned whenever a tentacle slammed into the barrier. Years of healer¡¯s training made me want to check the gash on the back of her head that was staining the sand around her red, but there wasn¡¯t time and too many eyes. Instead, I snapped at Juniper to press a clean cloth to the wound, readied my spear, and then the barrier fell.

    Breck¡¯s presence pressed against my mind for a moment as she listened to my plan and rushed forward, calling the remaining fish from the water. She hacked them as they came and they fell around her.

    Then a tentacle came streaking over her head, aiming to slam her into the ground, and I realized my miscalculation. Her blessing was powerful enough that it could pull on all the creatures around her and despite her impressive accounts of her feats, I doubted she could handle eight fish attackers as well as the squid creature.

    Prevna and I rushed forward to support her as she dodged to the side to avoid the blow. It placed her right in the way of one of the fish¡¯s spear points. It sank deep into her side and Breck collapsed to one knee with a gasp of pain.

    I battered one of fish out of the way before stabbing the one that had stabbed her. It fell and Prevna took another one through the eye with her spear. Breck¡¯s hold over the fish seemed to break and three of the remaining six broke off to go after the others.

    I did my best to hold off the rest with Prevna. We got one and then two more tentacles were whipping us. I shoved Breck down onto the sand, out of the way, with the heel of my foot before batting away a spear attack aimed for Prevna with my own.

    ¡°Poison it!¡±

    The tentacles hit.

    Prevna screamed and suddenly she was no longer beside me. The second one caught me in the hip and I went flying. A brief sense of weightlessness took me before sand ground along my face and hands. My coat protected me from the worst of the abrading impact, but my side threw a fit at being abused again.

    I tried to get up, to see what was going on but nothing worked like it was supposed to. My arms felt like slush, my bruised side ached all the way to my bones, and my mind couldn¡¯t do anything but scream at them to work.

    Screeching filled the air, constant and high pitched and painful. Some part of me noted that Prevna¡¯s poison must be taking effect. The realization was enough to give me enough strength to sit up.

    The sight I saw was bitter sweet. All the fish were dead or gone along with the squid creature, but most of us were injured in some capacity and everyone was spread out all across the beach. Prevna had been flung in the opposite direction from me though it seemed she had hung on long enough to poison the creature. Breck was on the ground where I kicked her, hands clasped around the spear still sticking out of her, trying to stem the flow of blood. Juniper, Ento, and Idra were all huddled together, three new fish bodies flayed in front of them.

    And it was only then that Eliss came rushing over the ridge that marked the edge of the beach. I didn¡¯t comment on her lateness as she hefted Breck into her arms though I did want to scream her for disturbing the wound. She carried her to a shadow and disappeared. Minutes later she returned with two unfamiliar whisper women in tow. Between the three of them they were able to get the rest of us all back to the camp in one trip.

    Back in the healer¡¯s tent I couldn¡¯t seem to escape from.

 Book 2 - Ch. 37: The Best Laid Plans

    Indignation simmered deep in my chest, near my spine, and up into my throat as I sat on my assigned pallet in the healer¡¯s tent. We were ordered to spend the night there, so the healers could keep an eye on us rather than distracting the whisper women or fire starters with our troublesome presence. They had enough to worry about without barely of age girls inviting themselves to be killed on a battlefield.

    That wasn¡¯t what we were told, of course, because no one wanted to deal with the outbursts they were sure such idiotic girls would have. The official story was that we needed to stay so that they could keep an eye on our wounds and recovery, but I knew from experience that only Breck would have normally been forced into the indignity of staying in a healer¡¯s tent. Everyone else¡¯s injuries were mostly mild cuts or bruises, with Idra¡¯s concussion being the exception. Even the cut on the back of her head wasn¡¯t as deep as the bleeding during the battle had led me to believe. Still, she would have been sent back to her tent with advised rest and a potion in her belly to help with the headaches rather than risk the rumors that she got tainted from spending too much time in the life-ridden healer¡¯s tent.

    Instead, we were crammed into a corner of the tent on pallets while I was forced to watch what my fingers habitually itched to do in painful proximity. Healers ground down plants, checked over patients, stitched wounds, and administered treatments. The whisper women and fire starters they treated weren¡¯t rude and listened attentively to the healers which was more than I had ever thought could happen given the desperation and suspicion I had dealt with.

    Sometimes the indignation flickered up onto my tongue and burned like a live coal there, fueled by something I didn¡¯t want to call guilt when I glanced over at Breck¡¯s still form and something I couldn¡¯t deny was raw jealousy when I looked practically anywhere else in the tent. I might have my poisons and no longer need to deal with her but sometimes that held little solace. I knew I could never be a healer, but the craving was still there. The knowledge I couldn¡¯t allow myself to forget and the need to take care of myself rather than allow some incompetent stranger to witness my weakness.

    Our plan had failed spectacularly and we were even further from being able to find and kill the crawler than when we had started. Breck could have died and I had only been able watch her bleed out. The others were unlikely to want to help me continue the mission and between all my bruises, even with treatment, my body was denying any chance of putting up a proper fight. My torso and hip looked like a multicolored algae bloom had spread all over them.

    Part of me wanted the cold distance to break over me again, so I didn¡¯t have to care and could pretend that the life I wanted but couldn¡¯t have wasn¡¯t all around me. But the cold refused to come. There was cold comfort to be had among the plant-rich air, sweet and stringent, and the sounds of my childhood.

    I had rarely truly failed when it came to healing. Made mistakes, of course, but never made such dire mistakes that she couldn¡¯t fix them. That hadn¡¯t been allowed, not with her reputation at stake. Nor did I ever make the same mistake twice, not unless I felt like provoking her. And I had been competent enough that she had tasked me enough with mixing the tinctures and salves for critical patients when there was too much work for one person. I had been trusted to address minor wounds or sicknesses all on my own.

    It didn¡¯t feel like I had been competent in much of anything since I cut off my beads. I kept making plans upon plans upon plans and all of them went wrong. Sure, the Lady Blue had probably planned on her monsters killing all of us and we were alive, but I attributed that more to Idra¡¯s protective shield than my plan. Juniper probably could have made one just as good. Perhaps hers wouldn¡¯t have gotten our group¡¯s best fighter nearly killed.

    My teeth ground together.

    I was still sorely tempted to somehow slip out of the camp and take care of the crawler myself despite the sheer impracticalities incorporated into the idea. Only needing to worry about myself was far easier and more familiar than factoring in everyone else¡¯s strengths and weaknesses.

    ¡°Made themselves a bit too promising of a target, didn¡¯t they?¡±

    My gaze snapped up from the spot on the ground I had been glaring at to a group of three healers who plainly thought they were speaking more quietly than they were. They were clustered around a small dung fire in the middle of the tent. The one who had spoken was an older woman with a braid of long silver hair stirring the pot over the fire.

    ¡°Maud!¡± the word of warning came from the tall, narrow lipped healer to the old woman¡¯s left. She didn¡¯t look pleased to be washing rags or be made part of the conversation.

    Maud ignored her. ¡°I¡¯m only telling the truth. The younglings bit off more than they can chew though only the darkness knows why they were sent off on their own in the first place.¡±

    The third member of the little group spoke up, a bit reluctant, as he paused sorting through the good and bad kindle seeds popping open by the fire with tiny hisses. ¡°I heard they were given a mission.¡±

    The old healer snorted. ¡°Not sure being bait counts as a mission.¡±

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    ¡°Maud! They¡¯re seedlings.¡±

    Maud waved a dismissive hand. ¡°Younglings are younglings, and they shouldn¡¯t be tromping up and down the beach waiting to be killed. The Lady Blue will take advantage of every opportunity she can.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the plan?¡±

    I startled and whipped my head to the side to focus on Juniper. She just looked back at me, chin slightly lifted in challenge, as she waited for me to answer her question.

    Idra and Ento also sat facing me. Idra was practically melded into the other girl¡¯s side with her head resting on Ento¡¯s shoulder. Idra looked like she was prepared not to be impressed by whatever I had to say and Ento just looked protective.

    A rustle on my other side marked Prevna settling down to sit on my pallet. With her back to the fire her face was in shadow, but it didn¡¯t take a genius to tell she was also interested in my answer.

    I focused on Juniper. ¡°What makes you care if I have one?¡±

    ¡°You came up with a clear plan to fight off those creatures quickly. I didn¡¯t.¡± No shame or bitterness marred her tone. Only matter-of-fact practicality. ¡°Haven¡¯t you made a new one to kill the crawler already?¡±

    It wasn¡¯t that I hadn¡¯t, but I didn¡¯t appreciate her calling me out on it. Especially not when we had all just overheard the healer¡¯s judgment and were recovering from our wounds from our last poor attempt. Not when she didn¡¯t seem the least bit moved by the defeat.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to be so weak willed that you handed over authority at the first sign of trouble. Not much of a leader are you?¡±

    Juniper stiffened as Idra and Ento fixed me with twin glares. But then the younger girl drew in a short breath and fixed me an irritatingly level look. ¡°I weighed my options. You might lack any sense of manners or tact, but both at the Palace and now you¡¯ve displayed an ability for strategy.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°So you do admit I¡¯m better than you.¡±

    That turned the level look into a flinty scowl but it was gone in an instant, other than the stone in her voice. ¡°I admit that I¡¯m not a fool who thinks I have to do everything myself. True leaders delegate.¡± Juniper rose her eyebrows. ¡°So, the plan?¡±

    The part of me that was rubbed raw and angry from our surroundings and her attitude was sorely tempted to spit out some unhelpful, terrible plan, but the rest of me that couldn¡¯t stand failure won out.

    ¡°We heal and we work. We were too eager before and didn¡¯t take into account that we could be targeted by something else other than the crawler we were hunting. This time we¡¯ll use traps and do what we can to limit its hunting grounds.¡± I turned to Prevna. ¡°Do you have any ideas for that?¡±

    She licked her pale gray lips, suddenly nervous and trying not to show it. ¡°Maybe.¡±

    I brushed past her discomfort. I didn¡¯t like being coerced into sharing my ideas either, but if I had to, she could too. ¡°Good. Variety should help us catch the crawler and this way we won¡¯t be presenting ourselves for every passing enemy to attack.¡±

    Idra¡¯s gaze sharpened on Prevna. ¡°Once a thief always a thief.¡±

    Nervousness was immediately replaced by condescension. ¡°Better than being a pompous snake.¡±

    Juniper shot Idra a look that told her to shut up just as the other girl opened her mouth to fire a comment back. Idra closed her mouth and looked away as Ento patted her hip.

    Juniper flicked a glance between Prevna and me, checking to see if we would drag the argument on, before moving the conversation forward. ¡°Traps might work though they¡¯ll have to be well hidden.¡±

    My lips twisted into a sardonic smile. ¡°Most traps do.¡±

    ¡°What did you have in mind?¡±

    We spent the remaining time before it was time to sleep hashing through a variety of traps and ideas on how we might limit where the crawler could strike, if that was possible. The conversation didn¡¯t erase the burning in my chest, just as it couldn¡¯t erase the looming specters of my recent failures or the fact that Breck lay on the other side of the tent, unable to join in, but it did quell the indignity and temptation for a while.

    - -

    An entire night spent inside the healer¡¯s tent proved to be too much. Breck¡¯s impaling kept playing through my mind even as I felt the throbbing ache of my own bruises. Then the litany of ingredients and recipes that could treat them began to accompany the images. It didn¡¯t take too long after that for me to begin to recite what could be used to treat the others¡¯ ailments, ordered from what ingredients were preferred to ones I could make do with.

    The air was heady with the smell of herbs and I could make out the shapes of grinders and containers full of promising ingredients in the dark. From my time spent watching the healers I knew where they kept the common ingredients as well as the more specialized items and tools. I knew where they had laid down to sleep and the knowledge of how to keep silent to not wake a sleeping healer had been ingrained in me since I was young.

    I knew the entire impulse was risky and idiotic and ultimately futile, but I couldn¡¯t help but obey it. The seedlings¡¯ breathing remained slow and steady as I carefully rose from my pallet. Rolling my feet as I stole across the tent to where the ingredients were kept I barely made a sound. One of the healers did stir as I carefully slipped some needle grass into a pouch, but she was merely shifting in her sleep. Needle grass to help clean out wounds, white leaf to slow bleeding, frostbite berries to numb wounds, seeping moss and Lady¡¯s Tear to soothe bruises, a pinch of feverluck, and gut and a bone needle to close large cuts.

    I told myself I wasn¡¯t going to use any of it, that it was just for the comforting knowledge that I had the ingredients. Just in case. Having the plants didn¡¯t count as healing. I didn¡¯t have my beads or the tools to help prepare the ingredients into a proper salve or tincture or drink. Not that the tools were much more complicated than a mortar and pestle or fire. But that didn¡¯t matter because I wasn¡¯t going to use them.

    I didn¡¯t want to learn what the goddess would do to someone who healed without healer¡¯s beads. Didn¡¯t want to bring her wrath down on myself or anyone around me.

    But I did struggle not to breathe out a sigh of relief to have ingredients on hand again. I kept waiting for someone in the tent to wake up and catch me, but no one did. Instead, I slipped out of the tent for a long while to avoid the temptation to slip even more into another pouch. If I took too much chances were one of the healers would notice and I didn¡¯t want questions to be asked.

    So I watched the stars and breathed in cold, clear air as my fingers continually slipped back to check the pouch holding my new contraband before returning to my pallet with no one the wiser.

 Book 2 - Ch. 38: Convalescence

    Everyone but Breck was returned to Mishtaw¡¯s tent the next day. The healers couldn¡¯t keep an eye on us forever nor could what was left of our reputations allow us to stay there unless we wanted to be deemed life-ridden. I had already born that blemish for most of my life, but no one else needed to know that, especially after I had stolen healing ingredients. Of course, Prevna knew I had been a healer¡¯s daughter but she didn¡¯t seem inclined to share that information either.

    Since we hadn¡¯t caused any more trouble since returning to camp we were given more leeway after we returned to the tent. Petra was around taking care of camp business since she couldn¡¯t join Mishtaw, Eliss, and Creed at the outpost with her shoulder injury. Occasionally, she checked in on us and helped us get what supplies she could for our mission. Mishtaw and the others returned in the evening for the evening meal and to sleep in the protected camp while another squad took the next shift, but other than that we were mostly left to our own devices.

    I wanted to confront Eliss over how long it had taken her to come support us during the ambush, but I held my tongue. She had already made her stance clear during our last conversation. If she was going to help anyone I was going to be the very last choice. I wouldn¡¯t have thought that extended to a battle where the lives of the other seedlings were on the line, but it seemed we were all expendable in her eyes. No doubt the ambush had labeled us all untrustworthy fools to her.

    We spent the time making nets and bait traps. It quickly became apparent that we couldn¡¯t use our nets to cover the shoreline like we wanted. There wasn¡¯t enough material. Instead, we would have to pick and choose which spots we needed to deter the crawler away from, given that the nets would likely be too obvious a trap to actually catch it. Ento said that crawlers also liked to burrow under the sand at high tide before ambushing their prey when they walked too close after the tide receded, so there was also the chance that we could use a net to catch it when it was vulnerable in the sand. But to do that we needed to know exactly where the crawler would be and when¡ªa question we currently had no answer to.

    The crawler had struck another outpost shortly before we were attacked, further to the west. No one was seriously injured but it also hadn¡¯t been caught and killed. Part of me was relieved to know that my mission hadn¡¯t been ended before it even really got to begin, but another part just wanted the troublesome creature taken care of.

    I drew a rough version of the map I had seen in the commander¡¯s tent for the others and Prevna spent a long time pouring over it. She said knowing the territory like the back of your hand was the most important thing when it came to setting up an ambush¡ªor overwhelming force. We didn¡¯t have overwhelming force nor were we allowed out of the camp while we recovered and prepared, so she made due with the map.

    Oddly, Juniper broke away from Idra and Ento a few times to sit with her. They talked more easily than I expected them to. Prevna even managed to pry a dry chuckle from the melancholy girl before Juniper quickly squashed it. I wanted to know what they talked about, but I tended to sit on the far side of the common area from where I had drawn the map while I twisted and wove my nets together. Moving after I had established my spot was too conspicuous, so I stayed where I was and debated whether I should ask Prevna about it later.

    I did ask her where she had gotten the Asper¡¯s Love. She pulled on a brave smile and said ¡®special training¡¯ like the fact that Jin had risked her dying from a bite from the dangerous snake was of barely any consequence. She also said that the snake had been trussed up so she could easily get the venom. Given what I knew of Jin¡¯s training methods and the fact that she had tried to kill me on my first and only private training session, I didn¡¯t believe Prevna about that last bit.

    It did make me hate our terrible mentor even more.

    The venom might have saved us, but I didn¡¯t like the danger Prevna had been in to get it. If anyone was going to be in danger it should be me. At least I knew I¡¯d live through it.

    One of Prevna and Juniper¡¯s soft conversations gave us unexpected insight into where the crawler liked to burrow for its attacks. When I had drawn the map I had also marked out where the creature had attacked in the past. Prevna had added her own marks for where she thought the crawler might strike next, based on factors her band had considered when they were readying for a raid. When Prevna gestured us all over to look, more than a little excited, I saw that Juniper had circled some of the marks.

    ¡°High water,¡± Prevna said and pointed.

    I just looked at them and waited. Prevna wouldn¡¯t have gotten so excited about something we already knew. Smirked at and ribbed the idiot for thinking they were so smart, but not eyes shining excited.

    Juniper shifted so that we were all in her line of vision, including Ento and Idra, rather than standing over her shoulder and elaborated, ¡°In these spots, if I¡¯m not mistaken, the high tide climbs further inland than normal. Or at least the crawler can travel further inland in these places. We would need to go to them to be sure, but if I¡¯m right, then the crawler frequenting those locations makes sense. It has a higher chance of ambushing the outpost patrols that way. They wouldn¡¯t expect it to be that far from the water when the tide is low and it¡¯d be closer to where they walk on patrol.¡±

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    I studied the spots she circled. ¡°What makes you think the water travels further there?¡±

    Juniper tapped the air near several spots. ¡°These ones have large tide pools, others are low level areas surrounded by hills or rocky shore.¡± She leveled her steady gaze on me. ¡°I can only tell so much from your map, but if I¡¯m correct both those things would allow the crawler more opportunity than we originally thought.¡±

    I nodded.

    Her eyes narrowed slightly when I didn¡¯t challenge her reasoning or press further, but I knew better than to try to get into an argument for argument¡¯s sake with Juniper by now. She had a way of shutting them done and making you feel like a fool for even trying. Besides, the other two and her were supposed to have more expertise about the ocean and I could check her insights with my own eyes once we could scout again.

    ¡°Good eye,¡± I said, and suppressed a tiny smile as I turned back to continue working on my net. She had looked uncomfortable at the compliment, but there was no reason I had to be predictable just to keep her comfortable.

    When our hands got tired and cramped from making our traps, we found a quiet spot in the camp to practice drills. Mostly they were for group combat in case we got blindsided again. Prevna didn¡¯t have her deadly poison anymore, so if we got caught by another tentacle creature without a plan we would be as good as dead. Not that we were likely to kill it even with a plan¡ªwe hadn¡¯t even been able to locate where its main body was when we were attacked¡ªbut perhaps we would last longer and in better condition next time around. More time for reinforcements to reach us, higher likelihood we could do more damage by working together.

    I came up with the drills and scenarios, drawing on all the times Rawley had quizzed me in depth about how I would survive in case this or that happened. We trained in case we didn¡¯t have Idra¡¯s shield or we got split up, with various partners. We trained in case we faced a single creature like the crawler or a bigger threat, like the squid creature. We trained about what to do if a horde of fish came after us and we were overwhelmed.

    Frankly, there was only so much I could do with the handful of days we spent in camp, especially without Breck being able to participate. It was quietly agreed that she wouldn¡¯t be joining us the next time we set out after the crawler. Reopening her wound was too dangerous and trying to fight around that would only make her an easy target. She didn¡¯t like being left out of the fight and I didn¡¯t like losing our best fighter, but we all knew it was the smartest decision.

    Sometimes our practice sessions drew a small crowd of whisper women and fire starters, curious about what the problem children were up to. We did our best to ignore them unless they offered up a bit of advice or went a round or two pretending to be the enemy. I¡¯m not sure why those whisper women humored us, but we took the help when it came.

    Kaylan was one of them. The second day we did our drills she came by after the evening meal and chuckled. ¡°I¡¯ve never seen a set of individuals pretend they were a group so badly before.¡±

    I held up a hand, stopping the pretend attack on snow fish, and scowled at her. ¡°We¡¯re working together.¡±

    She scoffed, ¡°You¡¯re running in the same direction, sure.¡± Laughter fluttered through the crowd on the edge of our practice area. ¡°Do you know your distance from each other? Which fish everyone is attacking and what they are using to attack? How those attacks will build off each other? Do you know how everyone will move once their attack is finished?¡± Kaylan gestured to the first dome group. ¡°Those three might, for each other at least, but as a whole group¡­?¡± She shook her head.

    My jaw clenched. ¡°¡±That¡¯s what we¡¯re working on.¡±

    ¡°Mmhmm.¡± She surveyed us, looking at us and past us at the same time. ¡°Want to try to get a hit on me? No weapons or blessings, but if one of you lands a blow I¡¯ll announce that my judgment was incorrect.¡±

    We tried and we failed.

    Several times over.

    It wasn¡¯t that Kaylan was super quick or strong, though she was decisive in her movements. It was more that she noticed our weaknesses and exploited them. Not that she aimed for our injuries or anything like that. One of the most frustrating things in fact was that she seemed to aim around them and her blows were definitely held back, and yet she still managed to beat us without a trace of surprise crossing her face.

    Ento tended to rush ahead, Juniper wasn¡¯t confident in her combat skills, Idra got in the way of Prevna¡¯s attack, Prevna telegraphed her attacks¡­the list went on and Kaylan took advantage of every single one.

    Juniper and I both tried to take control of the situation the second time around but that ended in a jumbled mess and a handful of whisper women loudly betting on which ¡°little leader¡± would win. The next time Juniper seceded control over to me since I was in charge of strategy, but Kaylan saw through the opening we were trying to make. We all ended up on our backs or knees in the snow.

    After that the whisper woman announced that she was done but that she would be back another day and that we should keep practicing. We did and she was.

    Creed also liked to come help us train though rather than beating us up he took the time to check over our stances and attacks in careful detail, correcting wrong footing and timing with good natured patience. Getting taught fighting by a man was odd but we couldn¡¯t deny that his teaching was effective. It reminded me of training with Rawley when she taught me how to use the sling and spear though her patience had had a deeper, quieter quality to it.

    Mishtaw came with Creed a couple times, but she stayed back with the crowd and simply observed. I couldn¡¯t tell if she wanted to make sure we weren¡¯t being an embarrassment to her squad or was checking our skill level or was lending her authority to Creed through proximity. Perhaps all three, perhaps none.

    I didn¡¯t like that I couldn¡¯t read her as well as I could most people, but it wasn¡¯t a matter of her hiding her expressions. Rather she had a way of showing a full range of emotion, but each display felt deliberate, so you couldn¡¯t be certain if it was fake or not. Unsettling, if impressive.

    We made nets and traps and practiced until, with just under two weeks left to my deadline, Mishtaw declared that we were recovered enough to go back to the shore and continue our mission. She smiled as she said it, but I couldn¡¯t have said if it was pride or happiness or hidden worry that fueled it.

 Book 2 - Ch. 39: Push and Pull

    We set up our ambush in two of the crawler¡¯s favored spots. They weren¡¯t terribly far from each other, at a sprint we could reach the other location in less than ten minutes, but ideally we wouldn¡¯t need to resort to that. Eliss had been assigned to us by Mishtaw. She didn¡¯t like it, I didn¡¯t like it, but if she was going to be around, up close and personal, then she could help. So, if the crawler settled down in either of our traps she was supposed to bring the other half of group to the ambush as well as periodically check in to make sure a fight hadn¡¯t happened without us knowing about it.

    Juniper had taken Idra and Ento with her to the tide pool trap while Eliss stayed with Prevna and me. Given how well the three worked together I knew better than to split them up and, if something did go unexpectedly wrong again, they were more likely to survive on their own with Idra¡¯s shield. If things went horribly wrong on our end, I thought I could at least trust Eliss to pull Prevna out and I would survive whatever punishment came my way.

    We had set up our ambush on a low, flat beach that flooded easily from the tide. Along its eastern edge the beach butted up against a waist high, rocky little cliff that crumbled down into the sea and curved its way inland. Perfect for a crawler to hide and then attack unsuspecting patrols.

    It hadn¡¯t used either of our choices recently according to the commander¡¯s account which I think made it more likely to return soon. We had also set up nets and our feeder traps up and down this stretch of coast in an obvious attempt to catch it or deter other creatures from attacking. Mainly those were to actually help guide it towards us and not one of its other haunts, but if one of the more well hidden traps worked, so much the better. We had staggered how easily identifiable the traps were, so the crawler might think we were just mostly incompetent rather than our actual goal. I wasn¡¯t sure the creature was smart enough to put the pieces together, regardless, but Prevna had pointed out the potential problem and I couldn¡¯t very well discount her input after explicitly asking for it. Besides, anything that made this attempt less likely to be a failure was important to act upon.

    We had also set up a couple nets or traps around each of our locations, so that they wouldn¡¯t be conspicuously empty compared to the areas we were trying deter the crawler from. Of course, we couldn¡¯t make enough nets and traps to cover the whole area we wanted, only a couple outposts rather than the handful the crawler liked to target, but we had warned the other outposts of the places to pay extra attention too and they would do what they could to make themselves less of a target.

    As it was, both of our ambush locations were within the jurisdiction of a single outpost, but it was also the one the crawler targeted the most. Unsurprisingly, it was the outpost closest to the saltwater caves with suspicious activity. I knew the crawler was probably supposed to distract us and encourage the whisper women to leave the area be, but really, I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if the creature¡¯s actions were what had prompted Mishtaw¡¯s scouting mission in the first place.

    We couldn¡¯t do much as we waited for the crawler to appear. There wasn¡¯t much to hide behind in this area of the scrubland. The forest ended too far from the shore to watch the water properly for a ripple that went against the natural movements of the waves, the beach and scrubland were flat and featureless. We were reduced to laying flat on our stomachs on top of the short ridge while hiding behind clumps of ragged grass. The location might have been optimal for an ambusher who could hide under the sand, but not for anyone else.

    Still, between our elevation and the grass I didn¡¯t think the creature would see us.

    And, for us, the rocky part of the ridge only appeared right near the edge, while where it ran back to where Juniper and the others were hidden, the entire area was pockmarked, damp, uncomfortable stone. We had snow and sandy earth and grass for added comfort on our elbows.

    Boredom came quickly.

    I occupied myself by running through plans upon contingency plans. I thought about what to do if the crawler settled down in this spot on the beach or that spot, if it went to the tide pool trap or got caught in a net. What to do if Eliss upheld her threat to me or listened to her promise to Mishtaw to keep us safe. I planned on what to do if we got another unexpected attack or if someone went down or if I lost this or that weapon.

    I had the time, so why not spend it preparing like Rawley had taught me? Better to be prepared than surprised. I worked through every little iteration that I could think of based on what the others or the crawler or a possible third party might do. It was meditative in its own way as I watched the waves and filed each possibility away as a new vine on a submerged plant in a jar in my memory tent.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve seen you blink for more than a minute.¡± Prevna¡¯s voice, pitched low to be covered by the sound of the waves but still a bit sardonic and teasing.

    I pulled myself away from my plans and blinked dry eyes before looking sidelong at her. ¡°I was thinking.¡±

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    She rolled her eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know how you stay focused for so long.¡±

    ¡°Habit.¡±

    ¡°Hmm.¡± She shifted to a more comfortable position. ¡°Care to share?¡±

    I blinked again, taken off guard, and Prevna smiled, a bit smug. I glared back at her. ¡°No.¡±

    Even if I could layout every strategy I had come up with without it becoming a jumbled mess telling her about them would undermine a good number of them, because she was likely to change her response once she knew. The same went for Ellis who I could tell was keeping an ear on our conversation. Easier and better for me to keep the plans to myself, so I could adapt with them when the time came.

    Prevna¡¯s head drooped though her voice still had its mocking tone. ¡°Why can¡¯t you be better at conversation?¡±

    I didn¡¯t dignify that with a response.

    A handful of snow hit me in the cheek.

    ¡°Prevna!¡± I stared at her, eyes wide with shock and outrage. Was she trying to let the crawler know we were here?

    She shrugged. ¡°A gust of wind could have done it.¡±

    I tried to throttle her with my gaze. ¡°The wind is barely blowing today.¡±

    She brushed off my attempt with a deadpan expression. ¡°Stop being sour.¡±

    A half choked off incredulous snort came from Ellis on Prevna¡¯s other side and my fellow seedling shot her a knowing look before coming to my defense. Sort of. ¡°I know it sounds like trying to make snow warm, but she can do it if she tries.¡± Prevna raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°Can¡¯t you?¡±

    I ground my teeth together. I wasn¡¯t Fellen. I didn¡¯t need to rise to every challenge thrown my way. ¡°I don¡¯t want to.¡±

    Prevna let out an exasperated sigh. ¡°I¡¯m bored. You might be able to stare out at the middle distance for hours on end over planning every little thing and Ellis isn¡¯t exactly talkative either, but I can¡¯t just lay here.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t.¡± I spoke even as images of Prevna running through the scrubland or practicing her sling in the open, just for something to do, rose up in my mind. Logically, I knew she was smarter than that, but I also couldn¡¯t deny that Prevna had a penchant for doing odd or inconvenient things at odd moments. ¡°You¡¯ve been part of ambushes before.¡±

    It was the wrong thing to say. I knew that as soon as her eyes narrowed and her head tilted slightly to the side. ¡°So?¡±

    ¡°So you should be used to the boredom.¡± Even worse.

    ¡°I see. Second nature for the Picker, right? Wasting tedious hours just so that we can steal from some unsuspecting victim?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡ª¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t waste hours laying on cold ground. My mother knew where targets would be and when to strike¡ªand when we did have to wait my partners had the decency to make conversation. We knew that boredom leads to inattentiveness which inevitably leads to a failed ambush.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t blame me for your inability to focus,¡± I snapped back. I didn¡¯t like that we didn¡¯t know when or where the crawler would show up for sure any more than anyone else did.

    ¡°Don¡¯t blame me when your plan fails.¡±

    I repeated myself, ¡°You wouldn¡¯t.¡±

    She raised her chin and refused to look at me. ¡°Wait and see.¡±

    A handful of minutes later Ellis announced she was going to go check on the other group. We couldn¡¯t hear the whispers on the wind yet, so she had to physically go and check on them. The inability to communicate easily between our groups grated on me, though Ellis¡¯s check ins certainly helped and we needed the two locations to better our chances of actually capturing the crawler.

    Ellis gave me an odd look as she left and glanced significantly over to Prevna. I shifted in my spot and scowled at the grass in front of my face. I certainly didn¡¯t need the whisper woman¡¯s help nor did I want to embroil myself further with Prevna. Even if she had already shoved and prodded her way into mattering, just a bit, distance was best. Safest.

    ¡°What do you want from me?¡± Sometimes I wished I could claw morbid curiosity out of my chest the same way I had burned out every memory of her.

    It was Prevna¡¯s turn to be caught off guard. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What do you want from me? You¡­you,¡± more than a hint accusation started to creep into my voice, ¡°poke and prod and keep demanding that I talk. And then you help me on the word of a girl you barely know and I know I haven¡¯t been nice to you. So what do you storming want?¡±

    I expected her to be flippant or brush off the question with her usual demeanor, but instead she rested her head on her hand and gave the question serious thought. When she did answer her tone was conspiratorial even as the way she held her head and shoulders indicated a challenge. ¡°I¡­tend to trust my first impressions.¡±

    ¡°We met in a fight. An ambush.¡± The irony of our current situation wasn¡¯t lost on me. ¡°I bit you. You poisoned me.¡±

    One hand touched where her shoulder met her neck without her seeming to notice and she smirked at me. A touch of her normal troublesome attitude returned. ¡°Passionate, wasn¡¯t it?¡± I spluttered and she snorted, waving a hand. ¡°More interesting than most first meetings. Besides, you¡¯re the closest I have to a kindred spirit since leaving my band.¡±

    ¡°Kindred spirit?¡± I repeated. I felt like a fool that couldn¡¯t put the pieces of a puzzle together even though all the pieces were right in front of them. We weren¡¯t anything alike.

    Prevna focused on the clump of hair near my forehead that was still slowly growing out. ¡°From one horror to another, right?¡±

    Ah.

    I could understand that. I knew that, in part, I had let Prevna get away with more because she was the only one who knew what it was like to be ostracized, even if she had had a family to support her through it for most of her life.

    It didn¡¯t feel like the full answer, like she was still keeping something back from me, but that was fine. She was already¡­closer than I had ever wanted to allow and if I kept asking questions she would likely feel entitled to ask them back. Everyone should be allowed a secret or two.

    I nodded and Prevna seemed content to lapse back into silence. A part of me doubted it would last, but I took it while the silence was offered. Eliss returned a short while later with the news that the first dome group also hadn¡¯t seen any activity yet.

    We stared at the ocean for two more days and learned of another attempt by the crawler in one of the outposts that we hadn¡¯t been able to trap. The whisper women avoided being stung but it got away again.

    On the fourth day, Prevna looked up from stacking a small tower of stones and spotted an unusual ripple in the ocean waves.

 Book 2 - Ch. 40: Crawler

    As badly as Prevna wanted the tedium over with we couldn¡¯t attack the crawler right away. The waves would slow us down and impede our balance while giving the crawler the home advantage. So, we had to wait hour after interminable hour for the tide to change and ever so slowly recede, inch by short inch.

    Eliss notified the whisper women at this outpost to keep their distance before going to retrieve the other seedlings through the shadow paths. I kept my eyes trained on where we thought the crawler had burrowed into the sand, causing the water to ripple irregularly. I didn¡¯t hope for it to not notice our presence, not to feel the others¡¯ soft footsteps through the ground as they slipped over to join us on the ridge. Instead, I did my best to will those things into reality. We had trained. Everyone should know what to do and be prepared.

    ¡°Where?¡± Juniper breathed next to my ear.

    ¡°Three steps from the ridge, a dozen from the end of the beach. The waves are still covering it.¡±

    ¡°And will be for a while,¡± Prevna grumbled under her breath.

    I gave her a look of displeasure, which she shrugged off, while Juniper questioned her with a look of her own.

    Prevna rolled her eyes. ¡°You can¡¯t tell me you¡¯re not bored.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s gaze trained on the spot I had pointed out to her. ¡°All part of the hunt.¡±

    Prevna huffed out a breath and went back to her stones, though I noticed she carefully dismantled her tower and started to arrange the stones on the ground. Not as likely to invite the sound of falling stones that way.

    Idra and Ento had settled on Juniper¡¯s other side, closest to the crawler¡¯s location. Taking inspiration from the snow within arm¡¯s reach of Prevna they began a silent drawing contest, careful to keep their movements hidden behind the tufts of tall grass. Eliss lay on the opposite end of our group and watched the ocean in case any unexpected threats decided to show up.

    Their idleness was amazing in a way. I could hardly tear my eyes away from the spot the crawler was hidden while they were content to play games until it was time for the fight. Plans roiled in my mind.

    ¡°Don¡¯t overthink.¡± The unasked for advice came from an unexpected quarter. Juniper had switched her cool focus from the spot back to me. ¡°My mentor always said planning is good, but pick three broad options. Otherwise, you¡¯ll freeze when the time comes.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t freeze.¡±

    She gave me another unreadable look and lapsed back into silence. I glared at the water.

    I knew there was only so much I could do through planning, that when it came down it the fight would be ruled by reactions more than anything else. But as Prevna liked to point out there wasn¡¯t a whole lot to do on the ridge and my training had always tended to theory over application. There was only so much one could do in a tent, after all.

    The next half hour or so I took care to loosen up muscles that were sore and tight from lying on cold ground for multiple days in a row. Stretched my fingers, one by one, rolled my shoulders¡ªanything that didn¡¯t require me to stand up and present myself to the enemy. Juniper¡¯s approving air irritated me as she joined in on the stretches but I didn¡¯t rebuff her. The last thing I needed was to get in an argument right before fought we the crawler. Prevna, Juniper, Idra, and Ento might be able to talk their way back to the Seedling Palace even if we didn¡¯t kill the crawler, but this mission was my main chance.

    We waited. Waited as the sun rose higher in the cloud streaked sky. Waited as the tension notched up, bit by bit, until we were all restless and fingers kept slipping to check on weapons and tug on our protective coats. Waited as the crash of waves slowly receded to reveal more and more damp sand.

    At one point, I looked up over the scrub land to see the outpost whisper women threading their way between the forest line and the beach as they scouted their assigned area. They were careful to keep far enough away that it was very unlikely the crawler would give up its surprise advantage to attack them, but also close enough that if the creature was intelligent it hopefully wouldn¡¯t think they were purposefully avoiding the beach.

    I had to work to keep my breath even as they passed.

    Nothing burst from the sand. They didn¡¯t swerve and try to take the crawler for themselves. The beach remained quiet.

    We didn¡¯t wait for the waves to pull back completely before we launched our attack. Just enough for us to have a stretch of sand between the crawler and easy escape. Any longer and I think someone would have snapped from the sickening mix of wire edged tension and tedium.

    Ento had said that she thought that crawlers knew that their victims were near through tremors in the ground from their steps, so we did what we could to keep off the beach and walk as softly as possible while we shifted into position.

    Eliss stayed where she was, so that she could respond right away if anything came from the ocean. Idra and Ento prepared to leap from the ridge between the crawler and the water while Prevna and I slipped up to a spot in line with the crawler, a net between us. I worried that we would be seen, but the wet sand didn¡¯t so much as ripple as we came up right to the edge of the ridge. Juniper went alone around the crawler through the scrub land and onto its other side. Water began to well up from her cupped hands.

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    Then we had to wait again for her water to collect and slowly work its way down the beach. Idra had been vehemently against this part of the plan and Ento hadn¡¯t like it either. Like the outpost whisper women, Juniper had to judge a distance that wouldn¡¯t be too far from the fight, but that also wasn¡¯t so close that it prompted the crawler to attack early. I had wished for a defense that was more efficient, but Juniper¡¯s odd water attack could cover more ground than anything else we had, and I didn¡¯t know how effective slings were against the creature. Given what had happened to that golden orange fish, I didn¡¯t doubt that her attack would get the job done, if needed.

    Long minutes passed as her little stream of water slowly grew. Then, seemingly impatient herself, her pearl began to glow and the water flowing from her hands doubled, tripled. It gushed over the low incline of the beach, meandering but still reaching for the ocean. Juniper shifted, taking a step to presumably try to guide the water better, and the sand closer to us moved.

    Prevna and I threw the net just as the crawler launched itself from its hiding spot. Short. The net was short with only the creature¡¯s tail and part of one smooth wing tangled in it. Prevna and I leaped after it. Other impacts hit the sand as I rolled back to my feet from my landing. Pulling my short spear free I sprinted over to where the crawler was writhing on the sand, readied it and¡­missed.

    It wriggled free from the net just as I plunged my spear downward. Prevna took a long stride past me and managed to slap a single finger full of poison onto the crawler¡¯s rippling wing. She had gotten more while we were still in camp. I scowled and pulled my spear out of the sand.

    The creature shuddered and changed course, veering for the waves. It moved like it was still underwater. Fast and rippling. We raced after it.

    We wouldn¡¯t catch up before it reached the water.

    The crawler slammed into an invisible barrier. Idra let out a victorious cry while a smug feeling in my chest shoved aside the disappointment of my failure. Planning definitely had its uses.

    Still, it likely wasn¡¯t long before the crawler realized her barrier wasn¡¯t infinite. We converged on the creature. Ento from within Idra¡¯s dome, a dagger in each hand, and Prevna and I from behind on the beach. Prevna had her own spear in hand now.

    Ento reached the crawler first and slashed along one winged fin. It retaliated by whipping around its barbed tail. She tried to twist and dodge out of the way, but instead we had the unique experience of watching her be checked by seemingly empty air. Half in and out of her partner¡¯s dome, Ento¡¯s shoulder ran into the outside of the dome while her legs still moved freely in an experienced side step.

    The tail plunged into her calf. She screamed through gritted teeth, dropped to her knees, and slashed a knife across the crawler¡¯s eyes. The crawler didn¡¯t make any noise but it bucked backward, pulling its tail free, blind and hurting.

    I hated being late.

    Again.

    I put on an extra burst of speed and Prevna¡¯s longer legs still brought her to the fight quicker than me. She plunged her spear down toward the middle of its back. An awkward moment where the creature¡¯s skin refused to be pierced before the spear was turned aside into an ineffectual cut.

    That would have been good to know earlier.

    The tail went for Prevna¡¯s leg. Without thinking, I grabbed it and pulled, dropping my spear. It slid back a handful of inches before the crawler began to struggle. Strength had never been my strong suit, even if I had had to help hold down struggling patients in the past. The good news was that I didn¡¯t have to play nice with this creature.

    I stomped down on its head once before biting out, ¡°Underside.¡±

    Prevna got the message.

    Ignoring the beating of its winged fins she grappled the crawler and did her best to haul the thing on its back while I did my best to keep the tail from stabbing into any more people.

    Prevna pulled hard on the creature¡¯s long whiskers and one fin. Not completely on its back but the underside was still exposed. Ento took the invitation.

    Glowing daggers flashed in several different arcs, narrowly missing Prevna¡¯s fingers, and yellow blood sprayed. A moment later and I felt the tension leave the crawler¡¯s body.

    A swirl of frustration and victory along with a hint of worry swirled in my chest. I hadn¡¯t gotten the final blow but the crawler was dead. Shouts and footsteps hurried toward us. I shoved the emotions aside and dropped the crawler¡¯s tail. A dull yellow-brown, it nearly blended in perfectly with the wet sand.

    Acting on old instincts, I stepped around the creature and made Ento show me her leg with a snapped comment and a glare. Blisters were already bubbling up around the wound but the barb on the crawler¡¯s tail wasn¡¯t long and hadn¡¯t plunged too deep. She¡¯d live and walk again normally as long as she didn¡¯t scar the skin badly from trying to scratch out the itch that was likely already building.

    Binding the wound didn¡¯t count as healing. I pulled out a strip of cloth from a pouch and bound it around the wound. I felt her notice my quick, practiced movements but she didn¡¯t say anything. A bit too preoccupied with Idra and Juniper¡¯s fussing and keeping her hands clasped tight and leg locked in place in a sheer effort of will not to itch the blisters.

    I stood and caught Eliss¡¯s attention from where she stood on the edge of the group. She hadn¡¯t helped just like I expected and wanted.

    I gestured to Ento. ¡°Take her to the healers¡¯ tent. She was stung.¡±

    Eliss clearly didn¡¯t like taking an order from me, but we both knew why Mishtaw had assigned her to us. She scooped up Ento and hurried over a tree¡¯s shadow, Idra on her heels after Juniper gave the other girl a short nod. They disappeared in the shadow.

    I turned to Juniper. ¡°How come the fact that crawlers can turn aside piercing attacks was never mentioned?¡±

    Juniper returned my question with cool indifference. ¡°Ento¡¯s fighting style as well as her mentor¡¯s focuses more on cutting. Likely trying to stab it never came up in the fight.¡±

    ¡°And something as important as that wasn¡¯t common knowledge?¡±

    She didn¡¯t deny it.

    ¡°We needed to win this fight,¡± I ground out.

    Juniper indicated the dead crawler with a tilt of her head. ¡°And we did.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Prevna this time, incredulous.

    Some of Juniper¡¯s melancholy air came back. ¡°Some things are best tested under duress.¡±

    They didn¡¯t sound like the younger girl¡¯s words. More like something she had been told one too many times.

    I still felt like throttling her. ¡°Did you get the answer you wanted?¡±

    Her eyes flicked to me, over the beach and ridge, to the dead crawler, and back to me. ¡°Not fully.¡±

    ¡°Let me know when you finally get it all worked out.¡±

    She shrugged and I had the very distinct wish that I was the only tight lipped person in the world.

    I didn¡¯t throttle her though I couldn¡¯t help but scowl again before we set to work drawing in our nets and traps. Eliss appeared again part way through and helped us pull in the last of it. A few colorful fish had gotten caught which was a nice surprise. She brought us and our catch back in two shifts. Prevna and Juniper left with her to take care of our various other nets and traps¡ªthough some would stay. We wanted to see how they would deter the other enemies.

    I was sent to the commander¡¯s tent. The crawler¡¯s slimy corpse slung over my back and shoulder. Its dead weight not inciting quite the triumph I had expected.

 Book 2 - Ch. 41: Vested Interests

    The door attendant glanced inside the commander¡¯s tent before making me stand awkwardly outside it for a long while. The crawler¡¯s dead weight was heavy on my shoulder but I refused to put it down. There was little I could do about the lacerations from Ento¡¯s special blades and the yellow blood oozing from them, but I could present the proof of our victory without mud and snow dirtying it further. The commander seemed to appreciate orderliness and I was already pushing that, bruised and my cloak covered in the creature¡¯s blood.

    I stared down the door attendant as we waited but he didn¡¯t rise to the challenge. Instead, he kept to watching the camp activities around us and ignored me. I might be a seedling but he had control of the door and was secure in his duties. A sore ache radiated up my neck and down my shoulder blade by the time he announced me and waved me inside.

    The commander was setting down a tablet at the head of the two rows of attendants. They were all still busy taking messages and sending out orders, but when the commander spoke it was not to me or them.

    ¡°Here she is. Earlier than expected.¡±

    Unbidden, my gaze shifted to follow the direction of her voice and found a sight that made my body run cold and then hot. Stymied frustration and resentment and indignation roiled under my ribs, and I had to sink my nails into the crawler¡¯s tail to stop the impulse to sling the corpse across the tent.

    Yellow eyes. Leather and bone jewelry connecting nose to ear. Messy hair and clothing slipping out of place. The only change I could find was a pair of boots covering her feet.

    Jin crouched on the far side of the map, studying it. She looked up when the commander spoke and, when she noticed me, her smile wasn¡¯t kind.

    ¡°Our newest troublemaker.¡±

    With an effort I dragged my gaze from my false mentor and focused on the commander, inclining my head. ¡°I came to report our success, commander.¡±

    She took in the corpse and the blood smeared over my clothes. ¡°I see. Straight from the battle?¡±

    I nodded.

    The commander beckoned with two fingers as Jin rose and made her way across the tent.

    ¡°Report.¡±

    I did, tripping over my words in the beginning as I tried to be both concise and thorough, which was irritating. Then I drew in a short breath and reminded myself that the commander had likely already had the report from one of her attendants. That made it easier to focus and I treated the remainder of the report like I was reviewing the list of symptoms of a patient for her, during one of the times we had multiple patients and she could not check all the injured herself.

    The commander listened, surprisingly attentive as I outlined our plan, skimmed over the days of waiting, and then described the fight. It occurred to me then that she also could have mentioned the crawler¡¯s tough hide when she first gave me information about the creature, but given that she had neglected to even mention what a crawler even was perhaps she had assumed I already knew.

    When I finished, she gestured to her head fire starter. ¡°Have the creature prepared for our young fighters. They can taste victory at our evening meal tonight.¡±

    He took the crawler, distaste evident based on the set of his mouth. Relief washed through me as the extra weight was finally lifted off my shoulder. It didn¡¯t take him long to return to the tent, no doubt passing on the messy task to another fire starter.

    The commander focused back on me. ¡°We don¡¯t normally bring the fight to the water, but your plan was sound. You are leaving some of those nets and traps in place?¡±

    ¡°Yes, commander.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± She didn¡¯t elaborate further on her thoughts. ¡°I have another task for you.¡±

    ¡°Nadia.¡± Jin broke into the conversation, a note of warning in her voice.

    I stiffened. A little shocked that she dared to speak in a such a tone to the commander, a little¡­wary at the familiarity using the commander¡¯s name in this setting implied. Then memory stirred and I recalled that in the scroll I read about Jin it had said she was the second ranked Peacekeeper.

    If I wasn¡¯t mistaken, the commander was the leader of the Peacekeepers.

    Perhaps the familiarity wasn¡¯t unjustified.

    The commander leveled a cool, unrelenting look on Jin. ¡°Yes?¡±

    Her tone clearly implied that she didn¡¯t appreciate the interruption.

    Jin¡¯s easy smile had an underlying level of strain even I could pick out. ¡°You can¡¯t mean to make use of this girl. Reward her.¡±

    A dangerous glint entered the commander¡¯s imperious gaze. ¡°Can¡¯t I?¡±

    I watched, wide eyed, as the commander ground Jin under her heel with an innocent sounding question and a look. I was used to our terrible mentor¡¯s easy authority.

    Apparently, Jin was used to it as well and I could tell that it grated on her to force a sliver of subservience to her leader. ¡°Commander, I am only looking out for your interests. This girl has no respect for authority. She has already attacked two superiors.¡±

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    ¡°How odd. She has respectfully carried out every order I have given her. Even fell off the wall to save me.¡± The commander leveled that cool look back on Jin. ¡°Perhaps a change of leadership accounts for the improved behavior.¡±

    Jin had enough command over herself not to snap over the veiled insult, but I had observed people long enough to tell that it hit deeper than she liked. ¡°Perhaps.¡±

    The commander turned away from her and dismissed her with the gesture. ¡°You have your orders. I¡¯d recommend you go carry them out.¡±

    ¡°My request¡­¡±

    ¡°Has been denied. Your presence among the tribes will do more to dissuade trouble than having another body here.¡± She gestured to the tent¡¯s flap. ¡°I have more business to attend to.¡±

    Summarily dismissed, Jin couldn¡¯t do anything more without being accused of the same disrespect for authority she had brought against me. She shot me a dark look, barely overlaid by a humorless smile, before Jin swept passed me and out the tent.

    The attendants kept working as if I hadn¡¯t just seen Jin dressed down in front of me, as if a schism in one of the largest sects hadn¡¯t just been displayed for everyone in the tent to witness. Abruptly, I was keenly aware that, like any tribe, the whisper women had power dynamics and struggles, but, unlike what I was used to, alliances weren¡¯t so streamlined here. The sects were big and numerous enough that even though a whisper woman might belong to one group it didn¡¯t mean that group was unified or that the whisper woman had to completely throw her lot in with the group she belonged to. More options and the closeness of the goddess¡¯s favor or disapproval to muddy things further.

    The commander acknowledged what happened with a tilt of her head. ¡°A bit of unpleasant business. No need to mention it further.¡± She bought my silence with the warning in her eyes, the set of her jaw. ¡°As I said, I have another task for you.¡±

    I inclined my head and waited.

    ¡°There are caves being infested by the Lady Blue¡¯s creatures. I believe your squad leader has investigated them before. Another team watches them now.¡± I felt her considering gaze sweep over me. ¡°Stop the creatures¡¯ activities in a week. I don¡¯t care if you drive them out or block the caves or develop some other solution.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± I couldn¡¯t stop the question before it slipped out as I lifted my head.

    She smiled, mirthless. ¡°Why you or why assign this task?¡±

    I sucked on my teeth for a moment, drawing reckless bravery, before asserting, ¡°Both.¡±

    A bit of real pleasure warmed her smile. She didn¡¯t pull her words. ¡°Your failure causes no lasting harm and your success only adds to my own.¡±

    Something in her tone tipped me off. ¡°You don¡¯t think I can do it.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps, but perhaps that is also not the point. Don¡¯t forget why you¡¯re here.¡±

    Another test to prove myself. To see how I responded to something difficult. Impossible. Seedling stopping the Lady Blue¡¯s secret operation certainly had a ring to it.

    I set my shoulders. ¡°I killed the crawler and completed the challenge. Do you¡­will I still return to the Seedling Palace at the end of the month despite how this new mission goes?¡±

    It was impossible to avoid the commander¡¯s cool judgment. ¡°So little faith. I¡¯ll keep my word.¡±

    I wanted to press her further, but I knew that wouldn¡¯t get me anywhere helpful. So, instead, I nodded and asked if there was anything else she needed from me. There wasn¡¯t and I was dismissed.

    - -

    I relayed my new mission over a meal of flaky but dense crawler meat and steamed vegetables that evening. The squad had a small cooking fire all to ourselves. Mishtaw didn¡¯t seem pleased, but she knew better than to try to gainsay the commander. I don¡¯t think she liked being moved around because of the commander¡¯s whim involving a seedling under her command. Apparently, the outpost the squad was assigned to had been changed to one that butted up against the caves. They would be more available to help this time, but some focus still had to be put towards patrolling the area. Particularly because the proximity to the caves made it a more dangerous area to scout.

    She also wanted to know who the other squad who was already watching over the caves was, but I couldn¡¯t tell her something I didn¡¯t know.

    Breck and Ento were well enough to join us at the fire, but Ento would need at least a couple more days to recover from the worst of the crawler¡¯s sting and Breck needed more for her impaled side. Petra would also still be staying in camp. Her shoulder was healing, but it wasn¡¯t to the point that she could use her arm freely without ruining the progress. Creed ate with one arm slung around her and Petra relaxed into his hold while chatting with Eliss and Mishtaw. Seeing such blatant public affection was odd, if not uncomfortable, but given how the pair acted together I don¡¯t think they cared much for politely waiting until they were inside a tent to show their affection.

    Throughout the meal Idra cast glares my way, like it was my fault she would be separated from Ento for the next few days, except for when we returned in the evening to sleep protected in camp. Juniper kept silent though I didn¡¯t like the way her gaze felt quietly assessing. Her odd, evasive comments at the end of the fight still bothered me, but I doubted I would get any more out of her by pressing her so soon after the fact.

    I wanted to lean over and tell Prevna about seeing Jin at the commander¡¯s tent but the impulse bothered me and the memory of the look in the commander¡¯s eyes kept me silent. Besides, the encounter didn¡¯t change much. I still needed to make sure I stayed in the commander¡¯s good graces so that I returned to Seedling Palace while hoping that she ended the fighting in time. I might hate how little control I had over the situation, and seeing Jin put in her place only clarified how little influence I had. Part of me did wonder what she had to see the commander to personally request, but that was just another thing I was unlikely to learn any time soon.

    The rest of evening passed quietly with only one unexpected instance as we got up to return to the squad¡¯s tent. Eliss stopped me from following the others by gripping one shoulder as I turned to go. I flinched at the unexpected close contact and her lips pinched into a frown, though she pushed past it to say what she had come to say.

    ¡°You did good today. In the future, I¡¯d recommend not dropping your spear in a fight, but you didn¡¯t hesitate to protect your comrades.¡±

    I blinked, taken aback by the unexpected praise. ¡°Oh, am I trustworthy now?¡±

    I didn¡¯t mean to make the defensive, needling remark, but caught off guard my tongue loosened with its habitual response.

    Eliss¡¯s face shuttered and she released me. ¡°I¡¯m not sure you know how.¡±

    She left me at the fire. I stared at the low burning flames for a while longer.

    The crawler dead, a new mission, and a puzzle when I returned to the Seedling Palace. I got things done even if no one liked me. Fellen crying in the snow. The twins sneering at me. Andhi¡¯s look of horror when I told her to get touched by a shamble man. I didn¡¯t need to be trustworthy to protect what needed protecting. To do what needed to be done.

    I turned away from the fire and brushed my hand over my bless mark. I would succeed in taking care of the sea creatures infesting the caves. I would prove myself again and again and again until the whisper women had no choice but to accept me as one of the best.

    That¡¯s all I needed.

    I didn¡¯t let my hand stray to the stolen and hidden healer¡¯s herbs, the gifted poisoner¡¯s pouch holding Fellen¡¯s felted leaf.

    I would surpass Eliss and Jin and the commander until I reached the point that they had no right to judge me. Until I was the one who gave the orders.

    That¡¯s all I needed. And I would be disciplined enough to reach it.

 Book 2 - Ch. 42: Blood Gifters Gate

    Fog rolled in the next morning, thick and heavy, like a soggy blanket trying to smother us into the ground. It wasn¡¯t certain whether one of the Lady Blue¡¯s creatures had caused it or if the fog was natural, but no one doubted that our enemy would try to take advantage of it.

    The whisper women with blessings that helped with detection without needing line of sight bore most of the burden to make sure we knew about an incoming attack. Tension thrummed through the camp as everyone did what they could to prepare for whatever came next. From what I overheard, there was some debate about whether or not to increase patrols. On one hand, we would be more likely to find any threats the Lady Blue wished to hide in the fog, but on the other hand, those patrols would be out on their own, isolated.

    The main trouble with the fog, other than reduced visibility, was that the shadow paths weren¡¯t a viable option. Sure, the shadows clung unnaturally large and dark around the three giant trees in the camp, but the same couldn¡¯t be said for the normal pine trees covered in fog along the coast. If the sunlight was stronger or the fog lighter, some of those with better skill navigating the paths could have forced their way through faint shadows, but that wasn¡¯t what the day brought.

    Part of me wished that the commander could drink down the fog like she had the thunderstorm, but either it didn¡¯t count among the type of storm she could affect or it was too widespread or there was some other limit I wasn¡¯t privy to. I doubted that she would have left it as it was otherwise.

    We were still expected to go and take care of our new duties. Outpost patrols didn¡¯t take care of themselves and no one in our squad had a blessing that would help detect an attack before it came. Besides, the fog could help us investigate the caves undetected.

    So, we had two choices: wait for the outpost teams who had been on duty overnight to make decent, steady shadows with a strong flame near a pine tree, which wasn¡¯t as easy as it sounded, not with this fog and taking care not to set the goddess¡¯s forest on fire, and that was with the assumption that all the teams had a fire starter with them. Not all of them did. Or we could take the mundane option and travel overland to our destination, risking attack or becoming lost without a quick way back to the safety of camp. Like the patrols and outpost teams caught in the fog, we wouldn¡¯t be able to count on quick back up or easy escape.

    Mishtaw ordered us to pack like we would be gone for the full week. Better over prepared than under. It seemed we wouldn¡¯t be waiting for shadows to be artificially made. No one knew how long the wretched fog would last and Mishtaw wasn¡¯t in a patient mood.

    Prevna, Idra, Juniper, and I all packed up our bedrolls, a change of clothes and our weapons and other supplies in our quarters. Breck and Ento had both tried to persuade Mishtaw that they were well enough to join us, but she didn¡¯t change her mind. Neither was fully healed and we didn¡¯t need the extra worry of watching over two wounded. I quietly supported her decision. Between the damp and the extra strain, infection and reopening a wound had increased risks, along with the risk of gaining new injuries by trying to compensate for the still healing one. Still, even I could grudgingly admit that I didn¡¯t like losing two of the seedlings¡¯ heaviest hitters when it came to a fight.

    Petra would be joining us, however. Her shoulder had healed and I thought that, in Mishtaw¡¯s eyes, regaining her and completing her squad¡¯s normal setup made up for the loss of the other two. I wasn¡¯t so sure about that, but given how well she had fought before having Petra back was certainly better than being down another person.

    My side still had some bruising as well though it was by no means the mottled mass it used to be and I was used to the ache of the remaining bruises by now. By rights, I shouldn¡¯t have been participating in all the fights since I got here if I was being held to the same standards as the others. But given the fact that the cave mission had been issued to me as had the crawler one, I got to go. That was also beside the fact that knowledge of my blessing made others treat the severity of my wounds a little more loosely. After all, if I couldn¡¯t die from them how bad could they be? No one seemed keen to fall dozens of feet and land with a railing in their side to find out.

    We gathered outside the tent before setting off for the western side of camp. I was curious to find out how we were supposed to get past the wall. Nothing that looked remotely like a doorway or path had ever stood out to me among the mass of roots. As we got up close to the wall I noticed that ropes hung down at regular intervals. So, I could have gotten down on my own without Kaylan¡¯s help if I had found where those were stashed during my time as a lookout. I couldn¡¯t see the lookout baskets now, the ropes disappeared into a haze of white, but if I was ever in one again I¡¯d find the rope first thing.

    We slowed as we reached the end of a slow moving line. I couldn¡¯t see where it headed, but clearly this was a secondary way to leave the camp. The couple groups ahead of us, that I could see, had their gear, provisions, and weapons ready, just like us.

    Mishtaw glanced back over the other seedlings and me before gesturing with her chin in direction the line headed. ¡°Blood Gifter¡¯s Gate. Exactly like it sounds. Once you give the roots a few drops of blood in the right place they¡¯ll recognize you as one of Her people. Doesn¡¯t have to be from your mark. Then you¡¯ll have ten seconds to get through before the roots close again. Don¡¯t try to enter without offering unless you want the roots to kill you.¡±

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    Petra answered my unspoken question. ¡°They don¡¯t open from the outside. Think of them more as an emergency escape route.¡±

    Idra scowled. ¡°Why would you want to go rushing out to where the enemy mostly is?¡±

    Petra gestured back towards the center of camp, where the main tree was hidden by fog. ¡°Not all of us can travel by shadow and, even if we could, there¡¯s only so much room in a single shadow. If something went terribly wrong I¡¯d rather take my chances outside than cooped up in here, trapped with the enemy.¡±

    Idra nodded, a little grudging.

    It was smart of them to include a way for the fire starters to escape on their own. The whisper women used their shadow travel so often that sometimes it was easy to forget that most folk, including myself, still needed to do things the mundane way. Even if the whisper women took others with, through the shadows, should the wall be breached, I wasn¡¯t sure that they would be able to account for everyone.

    The others chatted quietly as the line slowly moved forward. Something about the fog made you want to draw as little attention as possible¡ªperhaps the thought that something might be lurking just beyond your sight. What sounds did come through from the groups in front of us were muffled and disconnected from their source.

    Prevna stuck close by me despite a scowl and a glare followed by a blatant attempt to ignore her. I didn¡¯t need a companion and I didn¡¯t want to talk. I¡¯d get things done on my own.

    She considered me. ¡°You¡¯ve got that look again.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a look.¡±

    She snorted. ¡°Yes you do. Flinty eyes, clenched jaw, stubbornness practically rolling off you. You get it whenever something happens that you don¡¯t particularly like.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a look.¡±

    Prevna looked throughly unconvinced. I kept silent.

    ¡°So what happened?¡± she ventured.

    Nothing she needed to know about. I crossed my arms and stared mulishly ahead.

    She started to tick through ideas on her fingers, watching me closely as she did. ¡°Killing the crawler went well, so can¡¯t have been that unless you really wanted that killing blow. Did something happen when you went to see the commander? Or after? Eliss stopped you by the fire last night, right? You¡¯ve been prickly with her. Did she say something?¡±

    I shifted my gaze to glare to the side, away from Prevna. It was a mistake.

    ¡°So that¡¯s it then,¡± Prevna frowned. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d let anything like that get to you.¡±

    My jaw clenched tighter. ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±

    She huffed out a breath of amusement. ¡°Sure.¡±

    I got a minute of sweet silence before Prevna spoke again, concern mellowing her tone, ¡°Do you want to talk about it?¡±

    Nothing mellowed mine. ¡°No.¡±

    She sighed in exasperation but finally dropped the subject. I still didn¡¯t really feel like I knew why she bothered. Kindred spirits might be one thing, but there were plenty of others who¡¯d welcome conversation, who¡¯d answer her meddling questions.

    My point was proven a few minutes later when Petra drew her into a conversation about their favorite celebrations, no doubt prompted by the blood offering the gate needed. Prevna talked easily with her and Creed, but she didn¡¯t move up to join them. Instead, they drifted back a few steps to join us. At one point, Petra tried to draw me in as well but I didn¡¯t take the bait.

    As we got closer to the gate I saw why it was taking so long to get through. A fire starter stood near the front of the line with a slate board in hand. She was checking everyone¡¯s destination and how long they planned to be away from camp, just in case a search party or reinforcements would need to be sent out later. Of course, the whisper women could still talk to each other on the wind but this was another way to make sure no one slipped through the cracks.

    After she finished checking on a group and recording their answers they stepped up to the wall. I couldn¡¯t see past everyone well enough to see what they did to get the wall open, but suddenly roots were sliding apart and I could see the edge of an opening. It stayed open well past ten seconds.

    Prevna noticed the same oddity and turned to Creed and Petra as the roots wove back together. ¡°Why did the gate stay open for so long?¡±

    Creed rolled his big shoulders and grinned. ¡°Not big enough for more than two people to run side by side. You might get ten seconds and I might get ten seconds but that doesn¡¯t mean we both gave our blood at the same. So the gate stays open until the last person¡¯s time is up.¡±

    ¡°Couldn¡¯t the first person stay in longer then?¡±

    Creed shook his head. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t recommend it. Not sure how it knows, but the deal is blood for ten seconds. Try to stay longer than that and the gate recognizes you as a threat to the wall, so it closes with you inside if no one else is there or it¡¯ll spear you through to make way for the others.¡±

    ¡°I assume it¡¯s the same for anyone who tries to enter from the other side?¡±

    Creed looked surprised that I had finally joined in on the conversation, but I couldn¡¯t miss out on knowing important facts.

    Petra was the one who answered, ¡°Exactly. There¡¯s some fish who found that out when the others went to clean up the field after they attacked the camp with that wave.¡±

    The group in front of us moved up to the wall and it was Mishtaw¡¯s turn to deal with the fire starter. She gave her the facts as the root wall split up open and the group in front of us each slapped a bloody finger against the side of the opening before running through. Peering closer at the spot, I saw that a knot of fine roots formed an open eye there. It was starting to run red with the amount of blood being offered to it. Apparently, not many were keen to wait on the shadows paths opening up.

    Mishtaw finished with the fire starter and pulled her prayer needle free. We all followed suit as she gestured us forward. The gate had threaded closed again into an impenetrable wall of knotted roots. Mishtaw pricked her finger and pressed the bead of blood that formed against the eye¡¯s pupil.

    Roots slithered apart, silent and eerie. Mishtaw bolted forward even as Eliss pressed her own bleeding finger to the eye and followed after. One by one we added our own blood to the goddess¡¯s eye before running forward into a tunnel that barely cleared Creed¡¯s head.

    The eye felt both slick and sticky when I pressed my finger against it. I snatched my hand away from the odd sensation and ran after Prevna. The tunnel through the wall reminded me for a brief moment of the escape tunnel from Flickermark. Disquieting and unpleasant, only cloying, oily roots were better than carved stone faces.

    I breathed out a quiet breath of relief when I emerged out onto the other side of the wall and the roots wound closed behind me.

 Book 2 - Ch. 43: Links

    My relief from exiting the eerie tunnel didn¡¯t last long. The fog was thicker out on the scrub land, not stymied by the root wall. Whereas I could see four or six feet around me in camp, now I could barely make out anything past my outstretched hand.

    Logically, I knew we were out in the open with the sun overhead and only the ocean to hem us in. The only tent walls that could enclose me were the ones we had left behind in camp. The fog might dissipate the light into a kind of gray dimness, similar to the inside of a tent, but we were not in one. And a light change was not enough to send me into a panic.

    Logically, I knew that.

    Knew too that I had made it through the tunnel in the wall, had been in and out of plenty of tents without tipping over the edge. The tension might spike, but it was always manageable. But I knew I would get out of those. I wasn¡¯t trapped in them. Even with Flickermark I had known roughly how long the journey was supposed to take, had believed we would get out and there had always been that reminder of sky overhead.

    Now there was nothing but gray-white fog in front, behind, overhead. A cool blanket that pressed against the skin and gave the impression that you were breathing in nearly as much water as air. I did not know how long it would last. If it would fade away an hour from now or after my week was up. I could not force myself to see more clearly through it, could not avoid it.

    My breath hitched.

    If only there was a bit of space.

    If the fog didn¡¯t press in so tight, if I could see as much as I had in camp, then it would be easier to remember that we were in an open field. Nothing to block my movement, nothing to keep me where I was.

    I stopped walking¡ªor the whole group did. There was some noise and commotion coming from the front and I tried to concentrate on it, to distract myself, but it just brought into focus that if the fog wasn¡¯t there I would know what was going on.

    Prevna stepped up close. Uncomfortably close, close enough that I could see her features clearly despite the fog. ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    I was lucky that there weren¡¯t any memories closely tied with mist or fog. I would have been drowning in one by now otherwise.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    Still, I could feel the phantoms of the most potent ones pressing closer with the fog. With the acidic burn of panic swelling in my chest and throat. If I continued on like this, one would claim me and everyone in the squad would witness my weakness.

    It was just storming fog.

    It wasn¡¯t even my first fog or mist. But there was enemies hidden in it, both real and remembered, and with my vision blocked and other senses muffled it made the distasteful taste of helplessness crawl across my tongue.

    ¡°Gimley!¡± More urgent now.

    I had to respond to Prevna or she would alert everyone else of my trouble. Didn¡¯t need that. Didn¡¯t need this.

    My first instinct was to rebuff her and send her on her way. Force my way through on my own despite how close the memories were and my uncertainty. But I wasn¡¯t caught in a memory and there were not tent walls or true cramped spaces to send me spiraling into one. Just the tension and rising panic and uncertainty.

    I didn¡¯t want to let her in, involve her, but Prevna had already been present for one of these¡­things. I needed to ground myself, center myself in the true reality of the situation. Ironically, I could do that faster after I broke out of a memory¡ªit was easier to compartmentalize what belonged to what¡ªbut right now? Between trying to keep the panic in check and the phantom memories at bay, I didn¡¯t have the focus or time to do so before someone else noticed.

    Better to take a small dose of poison now and have it scorch through most of my troubles than fall into a large, noisy trap later of my own making with judgment on all sides and no explanation.

    I ground out the words. ¡°When will the fog go away?¡±

    Prevna looked confused for a brief moment before she realized what I was really asking for. She straightened and spoke with full authority. ¡°It¡¯ll be better in two hours.¡±

    It was a lie. She didn¡¯t have anyway to know better than me, but I didn¡¯t need the truth right then. I needed a deadline and now I had one.

    ¡°I¡¯ll hold you to it.¡±

    Her mouth twitched up into a look that said she would like to see me try before her serious tone returned. ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    A deadpan glare and she got the hint but that didn¡¯t encourage her to let it go. Prevna opened her mouth to say something else and I cut her off. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. Just¡­the fog presses in a bit close out here.¡± I clamped my mouth shut. I hadn¡¯t meant to admit that.

    Prevna gave me a searching look before abruptly nodding. ¡°Next time you help me with the boredom, hm?¡± She held out a hand. ¡°I can lead you easier if you take it and you can picture yourself wherever you want. No fog, no bad memories.¡±

    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

    I gritted my teeth. I didn¡¯t like that she knew more than I wanted her to and, for some reason, it bothered me that she cared to help. I didn¡¯t want to take her hand but she was deliberately making it my choice and that made it easier. Small poison now rather than inescapable large pitfall later.

    Her hand was rough with calluses and warm, the grip light but firm, so I could pull away if I wanted. I did want to, but I didn¡¯t pull away despite how uncomfortable it was to have so much contact with another person. Already I could feel this new, unexpected situation pulling my mind away from the memories and panic and mist. Forcing me to focus on that single point of contact and though I wouldn¡¯t have thought narrowing my focus further would help, somehow it did feel like the fog receded, just a bit.

    Mishtaw called our names and Prevna answered as she turned and tugged me forward. I could have closed my eyes to block everything out like she implied, but I couldn¡¯t tear my gaze away from our linked hands.

    From what I could remember I hadn¡¯t ever even held hands with Fellen.

    New worries bubbled up as we walked forward, blocking out the less tangible fears. What would the others think when they saw Prevna leading me out of the fog? Would they think me weak? Would Idra snicker and insinuate we were closer than we were? I¡¯d cut her through with my own comment if she did.

    We regrouped with the others and I learned my fears were unfounded. The most I could make out of anyone was their voice and a vague outline unless they stepped right into my personal space. In fact, because of that, we were ordered to link up, hand in hand, so no one got separated in the mist. Prevna navigated us to the very end of the line, so I didn¡¯t have to hold anyone else¡¯s hand. She got a small nod of acknowledgment for that.

    It was also during that scrabble of everyone joining hands and finding their positions that I learned we had been joined by Squad Leader Hattie and most of her crew. Two of them were off helping other squads since they had ranged detection blessings. Hattie¡¯s group was the other one assigned to the caves, so two other whisper women were still on watch up there with two of their fire starters.

    The rest of the fire starters, Hattie, and her seemingly second-in-command were with us. Melka, the tall woman with a plait of black ankle length hair, had a blessing that struck foreboding in the hearts of creatures around her within fifty paces. She could tell if it took hold or not, so she was going to act as our ranged detector. Apparently, we wouldn¡¯t be caught up in it because she could also choose to protect a certain number of people from the effect.

    The journey was slow and tense and cold. First, we set off for the shore since we couldn¡¯t get lost as long as we kept the ocean to one side unless we overshot our destination. We knew it was dangerous being so close to the water, but between our numbers and the desire not to get turned in circles, the decision was made.

    Up front, Hattie was apparently trying Mishtaw¡¯s patience with a quiet stream of chatter and our group was filled in on what the other had learned during their observation of the caves. Fish carrying in the other monsters, lots of activity within that one of the women could sense through tremors in the ground but it was too dark to see anything useful inside once you left the main stretch of passage behind¡ªtwo of the women had scaled their way inside on tiny hand- and footholds during one of the downtimes between when new monsters were brought in.

    Prevna and I learned most of this third and fourth hand as information passed up and down the line. It was a good distraction from the feel of her hand and the increasingly insistent desire to wrench myself free of it.

    I kept expecting us to be attacked but the day remained quiet. Either Melka¡¯s aura was doing its job remarkably well or there was something else going on. Perhaps other groups were better targets than us, but the eerie stillness around us wouldn¡¯t let my gut settle. Something was happening, something likely big, but I didn¡¯t have near enough information to figure out what.

    It could be anything from another attack on camp to our patrols being picked off one by one to something with the caves to some other goal or part of the battlefield that I had no knowledge of. Still, I had the same sensation I would have when she was having one of her terrible days and I knew everything I said or did would only make it worse. It could have been the lingering effect of the claustrophobic fog but the more I thought about it the more I realized that the sensation hadn¡¯t developed until we started traveling along the shore.

    So what was it?

    Sandy beach, dense fog, lapping water just a bit to our left. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing new. No prickling sense of being watched, no odd noises in the air.

    But perhaps that was precisely the problem. The absence of anything odd.

    We were all strung out along the shore and slower to reach our weapons because of the hand holding. A pretty piece of bait on offer, nearly on par with what me and the other seedlings had offered during our first plan to kill the crawler, and we weren¡¯t being snapped up. The other groups traveling to their patrols would be in a similar situation and there had been whispers on the wind, that I knew of, of battles fought or won.

    Why would the Lady Blue or her commander pass up on such an opportunity? For all that the fog might also obscure their view, they could go under the water with clear sight and get close without us noticing. You would think they would take the chance on at least a few groups or the night outposts caught in the fog.

    But we heard nothing and from what I could tell the ocean was quiet. It felt like an ambush waiting to sprung. If we weren¡¯t the ones it was supposed to be sprung on though, then who?

    My thoughts went to the camp. Hattie had said things with the storm would have been a lot worse if it hadn¡¯t been seen and stopped. No shadows to travel through and winds all wrong. A chill ran down my back.

    That sounded close to our current situation, but we still had the winds. Fog didn¡¯t affect those.

    Unless, of course, we weren¡¯t only dealing with fog.

    Another unnatural storm could have been concealed in it and perhaps the commander could just drink it down, but she hadn¡¯t taken in the fog¡­

    Urgently, I spoke around Prevna to Eliss¡¯s outline. ¡°Can you still contact the camp through wind? The other groups?¡±

    She shifted slightly and I heard the frown in her voice. ¡°Of course.¡±

    I didn¡¯t let it go. ¡°Are you sure? Have you checked recently?¡±

    She replied, exasperated, but I only half heard her assurance because it was at that moment that I realized what had felt so off to me since we reached the shore.

    No wind rippled the water¡¯s surface that I could see nor moved the heavy blanket of fog. My hair hadn¡¯t stirred with a breath of it since we left camp.

    No shadows to travel through, no wind to communicate by and a third of our forces strung out along the shore, ripe for the picking, when there was few enough to begin with. The camp would be more vulnerable too with us all missing.

    Simple and devious, with multiple good outcomes for how the situation might play out. If it weren¡¯t for the other side, it was a trap that Rawley would have been proud of.

 Book 2 - Ch. 44: Foggy Plans

    Our predicament traveled quickly up the line as soon as I pointed out the lack of wind. I couldn¡¯t hear what was said between Mishtaw and Hattie or read their body language through the obscuring fog, but some information made its way back down the restless line. My hair might not have stirred since we left camp, but they had been successfully checking in with the commander and Hattie¡¯s outpost subordinates until a half hour ago. However, it had gotten increasing difficult as we continued on, as if the wind was lessening. During the last round of messages, Hattie had been able to send hers out while Mishtaw didn¡¯t have enough wind and they hadn¡¯t received any in response.

    Much like how the whisper women could gain different proficiency with using the shadow paths, apparently the same was true for conversing on the wind. Eliss quickly explained to Prevna and me that all whisper women were expected to learn how to direct their messages to their intended target even when the wind wasn¡¯t blowing at full strength or was being unruly within a number of miles, but some trained to be able to send their messages over extraordinary distances or when the wind was barely a breath. It was said that the Beloved didn¡¯t even need the wind; she could send a message anywhere she wanted even when the air was as still as it was now.

    But the air was never supposed to be still. There was always some wind. And we weren¡¯t the Beloved to ignore nature and do whatever we wished.

    Tension built along with the unspoken questions as our squad leaders worked out our next move as quickly as they could. How and why did the wind stop? Would it return soon? What was going on back at camp and the other groups, similar to ours, spread across the coast? Had they noticed the problem? Were they being attacked? Should we keep going, hole up somewhere, turn back? Was a horde of sea monsters about to descend on us? Were they just as blind in the fog as we were?

    On and on and on. I could answer some of the questions based on prior knowledge and guesswork, some of them were important to know but impractical to focus on while we were vulnerable out in the open.

    Even with the same number of people we had before the risk of being near the water no longer felt as acceptable as it had when we first set off. Muffled fidgets of feet shifting on sand and rustle of clothing filtered through the fog as we all subtly kept a keener eye on the water and checked our weapons and protective gear.

    Mishtaw and Hattie gave their verdict a couple of minutes later. Gaining distance from the water and finding cover was now our top priority. Namely, we were to get to the goddess¡¯s forest without getting ambushed or turned around in the fog. We also switched from the line formation to a tight cluster with Melka and Idra in the center. If the first sensed that her blessing of terror hadn¡¯t taken hold of potential enemies than the second would put up her protective barrier. Better safe than hobbled by injuries.

    I ended up near the back again, placed between Creed, at the very back, and Mishtaw. Surprisingly, Petra was in the lead as our pathfinder. You wouldn¡¯t think it¡¯d be so difficult to find the forest given that it was a straight shot from the shore at any given point, but we had all heard stories of tribes going missing in the mist. They thought they were going straight when really they were weaving patterns into the ground and making no progress at all. Mishtaw¡¯s main squad all vouched for her sense of direction and the tracking training she received.

    From what I could tell Juniper and Prevna were also placed between the adults in Mishtaw¡¯s squad on the left side of our group while Hattie¡¯s group shored up the right side. No one openly said anything, but I didn¡¯t doubt that it was for our protection as well as to make sure no one accidentally got in each other¡¯s way because of unfamiliar fighting styles. I might have only been part of one fight with Mishtaw and Creed, but that was better than a fire starter I had no knowledge of before today.

    I focused on keeping track of Mishtaw¡¯s back in the fog as well as what I could make out of Melka as we moved forward. This definitely wasn¡¯t the time for accidentally breaking away from the group. I knew from the Hunter¡¯s Quarry game that I still wasn¡¯t a match for multiple enemies on my own, especially when they had a trap of their own to spring.

    The fog pressed in close as we moved over the uneven, snowy scrubland but now it was easier to keep the panic at bay. I had other worries to occupy my mind and when it didn¡¯t disappear within what I judged to be two hours like Prevna had promised, I simply resolved that it would be gone within the next two hours and that she was a poor judge of time estimates. It helped, too, to feel Creed at my back and to know that Mishtaw was ahead. That made the space I was aware of feel larger rather than endless eddies of grayish white.

    We didn¡¯t make any quicker progress than we had by the shore and without the water as a benchmark there were moments when it was easy to question if we had made any progress at all. The lack of spotting our footprints in the snow eased some of the tension from that, but we couldn¡¯t dismiss the doubt completely.

    I kept expecting to hear the slap of fins against the ground or the grating sound of sand being shoved into a Shore Eater¡¯s maw, but only the sound of my breathing and the crunch of snow underfoot broke into the silence around me.

    Once, a rabbit startled away from Melka¡¯s aura and the sudden scampering was enough to send us all into a crouch, spears ready, until the whisper woman told us the presence had been too small to be a fish. No one responded to the sliver of humor in her voice. We all knew the sound of a running rabbit and we weren¡¯t eager to relive the embarrassing moment.

    We walked and kept walking until I was really starting to question whether Petra truly had an impeccable sense of direction without the helpful guide of sun and stars. That¡¯s when we hit the tree line.

    We settled between two good sized pines, Melka keeping up her aura while Hattie and Mishtaw got together to discuss the plans they made during the walk. I kept my gaze toward where we had come from. Perhaps we had gotten away from the shore quick enough to avoid being attacked or the fish were prioritizing smaller groups. Perhaps we were lucky and the fog was natural and it ruined their sight and maneuverability just like it ruined ours.

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    I doubted it was as simple as that.

    So I tried to place myself in the enemy¡¯s position. What did they want? What opportunities did our interrupted communication and quick long distance travel afford them? What part of the battlefield would I focus on?

    The Lady Blue wanted the goddess¡¯s land for her own depraved waters, so it followed that the conch commander was working to fulfill that goal. Of course, having the area full of whisper women wouldn¡¯t be helpful towards that goal, so they¡¯d want to lessen our numbers or go elsewhere¡ªwhich the fish obviously hadn¡¯t done. The loss of two of the whisper women¡¯s boons was a heavy blow that crippled our movements and ability to work together. It weakened both those out in field as well as the camp. However, the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced the fish would go for the camp first. The squads outside the root wall might be easier to overwhelm, but we would be harder to locate and it would be easier to take care of us if our position of power in the area was ruined.

    There was also the fact that, as far as I knew, there was no way for those outside the camp to get back in without using the shadow paths or somehow climbing over the wall. If the fish somehow knew that as well then they could be confident that those in the camp weren¡¯t going to get any meaningful support, not unless some came from the Seedling Palace. The whisper women might have been able to decimate the horde of fish from the top of the wall before, but it was another thing entirely to face that same horde when you were on the same level and they could surround and overrun you. Plus, it was likely that fewer of the whisper women with long range blessings would be in the camp this time given how many of the squads had left to help the others outside and take up their posts.

    If another unnatural wave or thunderstorm came¡­I didn¡¯t like the decrease in the camp¡¯s chances. At the same time, it was nearly impossible to imagine the camp falling between the commander and the root wall. Either way, we weren¡¯t in a position to help.

    We had to prepare for the other possibility; that the squads stranded beyond the wall were being targeted first. That, at any moment, fish would come surging out of the fog and try to kill us. Never mind that I had never seen or heard of the sea creatures striking out farther than the edges of a beach¡ªkeeping uninjured and alive gave us the best basis for responding to any of the possible scenarios.

    Looking around, I saw that the fire starters were hard at work trying to create a shadow from the trees without setting the forest on fire. Little flashes of fire kept lighting up the fog and I heard the rustle of fallen twigs and needles being gathered up. I wasn¡¯t sure how well they would light up, being wet from the snow, but having a path to travel through was better than being sitting ducks.

    And, of course, there was the last possibility that was slowly gaining traction in my mind the more I considered the enemy¡¯s actions: we were not their main priority. I doubted we would be ignored completely in the fog, it provided too good an opportunity, but it also provided the Shore Eaters an unrivaled opportunity to gnaw at the goddess¡¯s shores without interruption.

    The Lady Blue wanted to hurt the goddess, take what was hers, and what better way to do that than steal her territory? Territory we wouldn¡¯t easily be able to replace. Water might easily slip into the space the lost land made, but we could not make dirt and sand from nothing and land did not slip so easily into place as water.

    We were fighting a defensive battle. The realization hit me then with the bitter taste of swallowed bile. Defensive battles were not won, not without great cost and concession, and I didn¡¯t think at that point whatever victory came could be called that. If nothing else, my childhood had taught me that.

    We did not attack the creatures in the sea, we waited for them to come to us. We didn¡¯t search out their bases of power, couldn¡¯t if they were further out in water. Our mobility ended at the shore.

    This was a siege. Like in the story of the bone ring, only instead of a nearly impassible hill the enemy was entrapping us within the goddess¡¯s territory. Unable to strike out without immediately being overwhelmed while also, slowly but surely, being forced to give ground. We didn¡¯t have enough manpower, like in the story, and time wasn¡¯t on our side.

    It didn¡¯t bode well for our ability to keep the Lady Blue and the goddess from clashing which boded even less well for tribes not becoming collateral damage.

    But if this was such a battle of attrition why would the Lady Blue waste forces fighting us when she could take territory elsewhere? Again, the question that had bothered me since we came here came back to haunt me.

    I mulled over the question as the others around me focused on our immediate concerns. Some part of me couldn¡¯t let go of the thought that figuring out the answer to that question would stop us from continually being on the back foot when it came to this fight.

    Shore Eaters and crawlers, dozens of skirmishes a day though the move with the storm and wave showed she had the capacity to use a far larger number of fighters. Why waste those numbers on the camp when we had been at full strength? Why not use them on the squads that had been out at the outposts? Why only harass those outposts when the crawler had seemed to know where to strike?

    I could only come up with two reasons. The enemy was saving their forces for some other, bigger moment, perhaps like the mist today or we truly weren¡¯t the focus and all the battles were there to keep us busy while they worked on something else.

    The caves had yet to play a significant part in the fight.

    Perhaps¡­perhaps they had been working on whatever they were doing with the caves first, something to expand their territory. But then some fool decided to burn one of the goddess¡¯s trees and brought a large group of whisper women to the area. Rather than let us discover what they had been up to they started to attack or we discovered the side operation of beach eating and retaliated. Either way the fight started and they kept it up, a distraction here and a distraction there, so that we would focus on the battle until it was too late and they completed whatever they were working on. It was what we would expect after all. From what I heard, those types of fights over small bits of territory were what the whisper women were used to ever since the Thousand Cut Witch made her mark.

    Of course we had discovered the caves, if that really was the hidden agenda, but not a lot of priority had been placed on them. If nothing else, the fact that taking care of them had gone to me proved that.

    A chill ran down my spine. If the caves really were the main objective there was little we could do to stop now, encumbered by the fog and unable to contact anyone else. Even if the fog lifted in the next minute I doubted there was much that could be done in time. Who would listen to a seedling about some caves when there had been the unprecedented event of the wind falling still and fog threatening all our operations in the area?

    I didn¡¯t have access to the commander, not that she would have listened anyway, so Mishtaw was my best and only bet.

 Book 2 - Ch. 45: New Path

    The four whisper women stood together in a tight circle debating about our next move. Mishtaw and Eliss stood on one side while Hattie and her second-in-command stood opposite. Melka seemed partially distracted, which wasn¡¯t surprising given that she was still focused on keeping her aura up, but she was more than enough present to step aside so that I didn¡¯t run into her elbow.

    I hated this sight stealing fog.

    Mishtaw didn¡¯t ask if what I had to say could wait or poke at my audacity for interrupting them. Instead she rose her eyebrows in question. ¡°Have you discovered something else?¡±

    I laid out my concerns as concisely as possible as they all listened. Mishtaw kept her thoughts from showing on her face while Eliss looked caught between disbelief and outrage though whether those were because she thought me a liar or the fish an underhanded enemy was a difficult guess. The answer was probably some mixture of both. Hattie was the picture of someone enthralled by a Grandmother¡¯s tale and an assessing look crept into Melka¡¯s gaze more the longer I spoke.

    Mishtaw summarized my points even further after I finished. ¡°The camp could be under attack and our patrols picked off, one by one, but you believe these caves could be the bigger threat?¡±

    I held my ground. ¡°You know how the goddess reacted when one tree burned. Do you want to find out what happens when a whole chunk of her land gets stolen?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know if that¡¯s what the enemy is attempting,¡± Eliss accused.

    I stiffened and worked to keep my tone on the good side of respectful. Waste of time or not I didn¡¯t have the authority to force my ideas forward without addressing concerns. ¡°What else would the Lady Blue want? We¡¯re obstacles, not the goal.¡±

    Hattie laughed at that and when Melka gave her a warning look she shrugged. ¡°The Little Diver said it, not me.¡±

    Mishtaw took hold of the conversation before it could get off track. ¡°We can do little from our current position for either situation should they be happening like you said, Gimley. So why force yourself into the conversation?¡±

    I lifted my chin. ¡°Plans work better with more information and I doubt ignorance would be an acceptable excuse for failing to act on either situation.¡± I hesitated, hated myself for it, and then added, ¡°Even if we can¡¯t stop the Lady Blue¡¯s plans that doesn¡¯t mean we can¡¯t hinder them, squad leader.¡±

    Hattie¡¯s smile stretched as she glanced at Mishtaw. ¡°I like her.¡±

    Eliss frowned. ¡°Of course you do.¡±

    Mishtaw laid a calming hand on Eliss¡¯s arm. ¡°If the camp can¡¯t hold on its own then us returning will make little difference. My squad isn¡¯t suited to long distance fighting unless another hand with a sling is all that¡¯s needed. Our mission was the caves and the land around them, let¡¯s keep our focus there.¡±

    Hattie stretched. ¡°You have a plan?¡±

    As they debated their different ideas I kept quiet and still, listening in. Mishtaw thought we could use Hattie¡¯s ability to make holes in the ground to undermine the integrity of the cave entrance and collapse it. Hattie was all for that plan, but the trouble once again was that we couldn¡¯t get there quick without the shadow paths and traveling by the ocean had changed to an absolute last resort until communication returned and the threat of attack lessened.

    There was talk of trying to get reinforcements, spread the word, but that ran into the same problem of travel. Idra¡¯s blessing and Juniper¡¯s were both brought up to potentially bottle up the fish in the caves or drive them out. No one said it out loud but from a couple of glances at telling moments from Eliss and Hattie I could tell that I was being considered as bait. I didn¡¯t particularly like that train of thought.

    A cry of success came from the fire starters.

    The whisper women¡¯s planning cut off as we all hurried toward the sound. At first, I doubted there was much cause for celebration given that there was no telltale glow through the fog, but then I got close enough to see what they had done.

    The pine tree they had chosen had a fat cluster of roots that didn¡¯t immediately disappear into the ground. A tent, little larger than a huntress¡¯s tent, had been erected over the exposed roots and inside it a small, steady fire of pine needles and twigs and a ball of dried dung. In that moment, I was glad not to be a fire starter simply because it meant I would likely never have cause to carry that fuel around.

    The important part of the whole setup, however, was that the tent helped capture the light while keeping out the fog and, opposite of the fire, the roots cast a bundle of small shadows against the ground and tent wall. Whoever used the shadow path would have to be careful not to burn themselves on the fire or shade out the roots¡¯ shadow while being unable to stand but we had an entrance to the shadow paths.

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    One of Hattie¡¯s fire starters stepped up to us. ¡°We don¡¯t think the fire will burn bright enough for long. The needles burn too fast and the smoke from the fire will build up in the tent, blocking its light, though we will do what we can to keep it aired out.¡±

    Hattie was already checking her supplies. ¡°If we have an entrance than my group at the outpost will have one by now too¡ªif they were able to keep it going. With that size of shadow, I can take one, possibly two with me.¡±

    She glanced up with a look that clearly asked how many the other whisper women could take. Mishtaw and Eliss looked impressed by her declaration.

    Mishtaw was the one who answered, ¡°I could take¡­one small person. Eliss would be better served staying here and helping defend the fire starters¡¯ work should the fish make their way here.¡±

    Hattie considered before nodding. ¡°Taking the seedlings would make the crossing easier and the fire starters can keep their work going.¡± She turned to Melka and bumped a fist against her shoulder. ¡°Hold them safe.¡±

    Melka returned the gesture. ¡°Find the truth.¡±

    Mishtaw and Eliss stepped away to have a private word while Prevna, Juniper, and Idra were brought over to the tent. Logically, I knew that they were the better choice to take given what their blessings were capable of, but it still stung given that I was nominally in charge of the whole cave mission and I was the one who put most of the pieces together.

    Nor did I like the way the fog seemed to press in a little closer at the thought of Prevna leaving. Sure, she might have helped me break through the panic this morning, but I had a time limit now.

    Two hours to deal with the fog and if it didn¡¯t go away, then two hours more. I didn¡¯t need to hold her hand and I didn¡¯t need her close, just like I didn¡¯t need to worry about what might happen without me there to step in front of a dangerous situation.

    I walked around the tent to Prevna. ¡°Can you imbue poison into any plant, any part of a plant?¡±

    She blinked at the unexpected question before shaking her head. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I haven¡¯t experimented with it.¡±

    I pulled out a few dried leaves of spiritflower from my pouch. ¡°Try with these.¡±

    She took them, gave me a dubious look, and then concentrated on the leaves in her hand. After a few moments, she frowned. ¡°These have their own weak poison already. I can¡¯t add a different kind to it.¡± She stopped me as I went to pull out a different plant. ¡°I don¡¯t have a killing kind of poison in my fingers, not unless you count the Black Root and I¡¯m not sure it works the same on fish. Nor do I have enough to poison an entire cave system no matter what leaves you give me.¡±

    I took the spiritflower back. ¡°You could still poison parts. The leaves would break apart in the water.¡±

    Prevna got that wry smile on her face. ¡°Better you go than me. If something unexpected happens you¡¯ll think your way out of it.¡± She glanced to the side and spoke to a shape that was coming closer in the fog. ¡°My blessing is still best used in self-defense.¡±

    We¡¯d see about that if it came down to it.

    The shape turned out to be Mishtaw. Prevna must have picked out the sound of her footsteps despite the distortion of sound from the fog.

    Our squad leader gazed back at her. ¡°If you¡¯re sure.¡±

    Prevna chuckled, a bit self-depreciatively. ¡°I¡¯m not sure why I was picked to begin with. Gimley¡¯s the one who noticed the wind and all.¡±

    Mishtaw considered her for a few moments before cracking a small smile. ¡°She tends to draw trouble.¡±

    I cleared my throat, not liking being treated as if I wasn¡¯t there, and they shared a look before Mishtaw held out a hand to me. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    I took it and her hand felt strong and callused. I wanted to let go, break the uncomfortable contact, but I knew I would just have to take it again when we traveled through shadow, so I let her pull me forward. Juniper and Idra were already on the other side of the tent with Hattie. The squad leader was chatting about some battle she fought with the fish while the pair listened intently. When we stopped beside them, Hattie broke off the story and took each of their hands.

    Juniper had to squeeze into the tent in front of Hattie, careful to place herself into the furthest corner of the tent so that she didn¡¯t block the fire from casting the shadow from the bundle of roots. Idra stayed on the outside of the tent with her arm stretched to keep in contact with Hattie. Then Hattie must have stepped into the shadows because she was dragged in and gone.

    I followed Juniper¡¯s lead and went first into the tent, slipping around the heat of the fire and eyes stinging a bit from the smoke. I crouched in the tent corner with my feet and knees in shadow while Mishtaw half-crawled her way beside me. Rather than step forward as I had seen in the past, she reached down to press her other hand against the shadow.

    I was falling and then with a blink we were in the shadow paths. Swirling smoke surrounded us in various shades from deep black to ash gray to bright silver. I could only see a few feet in every direction though that was a relief compared to the dense fog. The ground beneath our feet had changed from cold snow and frozen ground to a highly reflective and slick surface, like dark oil, but it wasn¡¯t wet.

    Mishtaw was already standing and I scrambled to join her. There was a long, long pause as she seemed to get her bearings and we were off. We walked quickly but there was no sign of the others who had entered before us. Was it even possible to see or meet others in the shadow paths? I pushed the thought aside for later.

    We came to a stop in a place that looked no different from where we entered. In fact, it had felt a bit to me like we had simply walked in place for the past handful of minutes, but I refrained from saying so to Mishtaw. She crouched and focused on different parts of the ground for another minute before rising.

    She gave me a meaningful look. ¡°We¡¯re here.¡±

    Then she stomped downward and I was falling again only to find myself in another suffocatingly small tent with a small fire burning. Mishtaw let go of my hand and I had to fight not to shove my way past her as she eased out of the tent. I was fine. I had entered a similar tent and been just fine; I could leave this one with the same ease. Still, my scramble after Mishtaw was more than a bit undignified. I probably would have gotten a few looks from Juniper, Idra, Mishtaw, and Hattie if they weren¡¯t dealing with what I had only gotten out of my head and memories enough to hear once I left the tent.

    The air howled so loud that it gave you an instant headache and made your ears try to shrivel up away from the noise.

 Book 2 - Ch. 46: Water Hammer

    Wind screamed and howled, sounding more like a cornered beast rather than a force of nature, but my hair still didn¡¯t stir. The fog was clearer here¡ªa thick haze rather than the engulfing cloud. I could make out the rest of our small group easily enough along with two unfamiliar women were crouched right next to the tent. Both had the hoods of their cloaks drawn up with their hands clasped over top where their ears would be to block out the noise. I quickly followed their example.

    At first, I hadn¡¯t been sure about wearing the cloak and the bulky coat, but since there had been the chance we would be gone for a week I had opted to wear both rather than leave one behind. As soon as the sound was muffled I couldn¡¯t have been more relieved for that decision. I couldn¡¯t block out the howling air completely, but it no longer felt like my ears were trying to shrivel in on themselves.

    Everyone else had taken measures to block out the noise as well. Most used the cloak and hands method, but Hattie and Mishtaw fished out small wads of something from their things and stuffed that in their ears instead. When Hattie noticed Mishtaw do the same thing as her, she grinned and pointed, saying something that was lost to all of us. Still, Mishtaw shook her head at the other squad leader, somewhere between irritated and amused, and gestured to the women huddle by the tent. Hattie rolled her eyes and her way over to them before starting a mostly one sided conversation with gestures. Her squad members could only nod or shake their heads without risking their hearing.

    Juniper and Idra didn¡¯t look happy to be caught in the same predicament. It felt¡­vulnerable to have to choose between protecting our ears and doing anything else remotely useful with our hands. Still, they seemed to be communicating easily enough with just their expressions and a handful of glances. I kept my own features as impassive as possible. I couldn¡¯t see all of Idra¡¯s face and they made no move to shift and include me in their silent conversation, so there was no reason for me to try and catch their attention.

    We already had our plan, regardless. Collapse the cave entrance and hinder whatever the fish were planning on using the caves for.

    Hattie¡¯s silent conversation finished quickly. Based on her gestures and the others¡¯ answers, the last two members of her squad had been out on patrol when the fog rolled in and hadn¡¯t returned. And the screaming air pointed us in the direction we needed to go. Hattie took the information in stride before gently bumping her fist against both of their shoulders. They brightened at the gesture.

    Mishtaw and Hattie had another quick, silent exchange and then we were ushered into a line. Mishtaw in the front, Hattie in back, Idra in the middle and Juniper and I sandwiched in between.

    The cave entrance was a surprisingly short walk away. I¡¯d have thought that the outpost would be farther from the shore, but given that they had been on the forest¡¯s edge and this particular shore ended with a steep cliff, perhaps the placement made sense. Granted, the fish had tried to climb the root wall, but that was, somewhat ironically, more bumpy and prone to making hand holds than this rock face. If not for the root wall¡¯s unusual properties and immense height other materials would likely have been a better defensive choice. Not that we really had the tools to shape and move whole walls of smooth stone.

    We crawled the last handful of feet to the edge to help prevent the enemy from spotting us before carefully peering over. The cave entrance formed a smooth arch in the rock face. I couldn¡¯t see inside, but no fish broke the surface of the water or hovered beneath it that I could see. And I could see far, as far as I could on a normal day without fog covering everything.

    The reason for that was simple.

    There was no fog out over the clear water.

    Instead, an invisible column of air carved a trough out of the ocean as it was funneled into the cave entrance. Waves from it crashed against the cliff, but the noise was swallowed by a region¡¯s worth of wind being pulled into an enclosed space. It wasn¡¯t difficult to assume that all fog down below had already been pulled into the air stream.

    I stared at the impossible scene before me for long minutes. Knowing that we should get to work but unable look away from the ocean nearly being split in two. I would have thought it impossible or the work of a blessing if I didn¡¯t know better. Were they doing all this simply to steal our long distance communication? Could we use it to our advantage? Were they so confident in their plan that they didn¡¯t see any need for a look out? Could they not stand the noise?

    I shook my head mentally. We didn¡¯t have the means or time to answer those questions right now. I felt Hattie shift next to me and she winked when I glanced over at her. Then she shifted closer to the cave. The others stirred and followed as we began to move.

    Crawling was difficult when you couldn¡¯t use your hands, so I moved away from the cliff¡¯s edge, out of sight from the water, before I stood and walked after her. Hattie noted my changed position, seemed to note she could do the same, and then continued to crawl anyways. She had full range of motion with her arms though, so she didn¡¯t have to do an odd wriggle the whole way.

    Mishtaw and the others followed my lead. We probably could have over taken Hattie, but she was the one with the blessing we needed, so we walked along near her, keeping an eye out for any sneaky fish. Juniper looked like she wanted to drag the squad leader up and forward¡ªand I couldn¡¯t deny a similar sentiment¡ªbut hierarchy and indecision held us back.

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    It felt like an eternity before Hattie was positioned over the cave entrance. Mishtaw kept us back, well away from where the cave was supposed to collapse. Hattie peered over the edge, one finger held up near her face like she was testing the flat air. She twitched the finger, this way and that, before a trace of a smile stretched across her face. She twirled the finger.

    I didn¡¯t feel a change but I didn¡¯t doubt that there was now a hole in the cliff face. A moments later and the finger twirled again. And again and again.

    A tremor shuddered through the ground.

    Hattie twirled her finger one last time.

    A cracking groan, loud enough to pierce through the wind, rang out as the ground beneath the squad leader began to shift. Hattie leapt to her feet and started sprinting toward us. Memories of the rock bridge collapsing rose up in my mind, panic bubbling in my gut. Just as quick I recalled her gloating about dropping fish into muddy holes from the top of the wall and I realized her predicament was entirely of her own making.

    She probably could have collapsed the cave entrance from where we had been.

    A wild grin lit up the crazy squad leader¡¯s face as she outran the localized destruction. Water sprayed upwards as large rocks plummeted into the waiting water. The ground shuddered with each new one that fell and the wind whined higher as it was forced through a smaller and smaller gap by the second. Soon there wasn¡¯t space for all the wind to fit through.

    A breeze rushed past us and caused me to stumble back after it was deflected off the fallen rocks. Hattie stumbled as she reached us from the same gust and let herself fall to the ground. I couldn¡¯t hear her, but based on her shaking shoulders I thought she was laughing.

    As the dust and water settled, the wind¡¯s howling died down as well though it didn''t disappear completely. I frowned as I gingerly took my hands off my ears. It no longer hurt to hear the sound, but I didn¡¯t like that it was still making that noise.

    A new shudder trembled through the ground, more distant than Hattie¡¯s destruction but rapidly getting closer. I shared a look with Juniper and then water erupted from where the cave entrance had been, cutting off the whistling wind and blowing rock into the air. The rocks crashed loudly into the ocean beyond. The water sprayed a couple more times but each one was less powerful than the last, like the water was settling.

    Once no more water erupted from the cave we retraced Hattie¡¯s mad dash to look closer at what she had wrought. The cave wasn¡¯t completely closed off. The fallen rocks blocked off easy access to the ocean, but there was still space between the cave ceiling and the pile up, where the wind kept being pulled through and then the water blasted out. From the looks of it that water backlash had opened up the space even wider. If I wanted I could slip through the gap without needing to duck under the ceiling. If fish wanted to climb over the rocks and keep carrying out the Lady Blue¡¯s plan, there wasn¡¯t much to stop them.

    Success, when it came to the wind, but not complete when I was forced to consider my original task.

    Mishtaw let out a grunt of frustration and I turned to look at her. The squad leaders were trying to use the released wind to contact their squads as well as the main camp.

    Mishtaw caught my glance and grimaced. ¡°The winds are still too chaotic for me.¡±

    Based on the odd gusts that continued to buffet us and the thin fog around us that was being torn to shreds as other clouds were being pulled disturbingly fast across the sky, I couldn¡¯t blame her. Hattie wasn¡¯t having any better luck. I didn¡¯t know how talking on the wind worked, but recent circumstances certainly weren¡¯t helping.

    Idra and Juniper kept their gaze on the ocean as the tribe leaders continued to try to wrangle the winds. We could have headed back to Hattie¡¯s women and the shadow path, but the opening in the cave gave us all pause. We didn¡¯t want to leave only for the enemy to start sucking in the wind again.

    There was some talk about Hattie collapsing the cave even more, but given that the entrance wasn¡¯t completing covered the first time around, we weren¡¯t sure a second round would do the trick. And there was the lure to investigate the cave even more to see if we could figure out how and why the fish had done what they had with the wind as well as what else they might have been planning.

    Well.

    Everyone else was preoccupied and the new entrance to the cave was a perfect height for me. I could go a little ways down the rock pile and see if the water in caves had washed up anything good.

    I climbed out onto a sturdy rock before stepping down onto another. Some spots took a little more maneuvering than others as most of the broken rocks were bigger than I was tall, but I was able to find spots where they came together that shortened the gap. If anything, I could jump on my way back up and my fingers should reach the edge.

    As soon as I got low enough to see where the water met the rocks in the dimness of the tunnel I regretted it. A mass of fat gray scaled fish bodies with spiny crests greeted my eyes. More than I would have thought they¡¯d be able to sneak into the cave system. A win for the whisper women, but it still made my stomach roil.

    I made my way back up the rock pile as quickly as possible, cursing the couple spots where I had to try multiple times to leap and elbow my way up onto the next rock. Mishtaw was waiting for me when I returned.

    She raised her eyebrows, the look on her face both censure and expectation. ¡°Find anything interesting?¡±

    I glanced back at the cave. ¡°A lot of dead fish. The ones the regular fish were bringing in.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Don¡¯t go off on your own without permission next time.¡±

    I pressed my lips together and didn¡¯t answer.

    Mishtaw gave me a long measuring look before accepting my silence as answer in itself. She amended her warning. ¡°Don¡¯t risk the squad.¡±

    I squared my shoulders. ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±

    Her lips pursed slightly but she nodded again and turned away.

    Mishtaw and Hattie were having another quiet discussion about what to do next when Juniper spoke up, warning heavy in her voice, ¡°Incoming.¡±

    I looked past the cliff to see a swell of water rising ominously as it headed straight for the demolished cave entrance. My fingers fumbled for my spear. Weird wave of water or unfortunately large creature, a part of me was very tired of the amount of resources the Lady Blue seemed to have to throw at her problems.

 Book 2 - Ch. 47: Running Low on Options

    The irregular wave continued to rise until it was halfway as tall as the cliff we stood on. For the most part it crashed uselessly against the cliff face though the force of it did shift some of the cave entrance rubble around. That wasn¡¯t nearly as daunting as the creature that had formed the wave.

    It rose out of the water like a battering ram. Bulbous head protected by three wide layers of pale pink crest. It looked to be made out of some sort of stone but that was impossible. Bone? More pale pink ridges protected the snake-like beast¡¯s body. It didn¡¯t look like it should be able to bend with those harsh ridges or swim smoothly with its sheer size, but the monster slithered quickly forward through the water despite that.

    It was headed right for the demolished cave entrance. For us.

    I gripped my spear tighter. Glanced at Mishtaw. Run or fight?

    She was making the same calculations I was. No cover here to hide behind, no chance of a surprise attack. We might have the upper ground but we didn¡¯t have the reach and power to bust through the protective ridges, not at a distance and, most likely, not up close. Up close meant being on the rock pile with bad footing and maneuverability and a high chance of slipping into the water where the creature had the advantage.

    Our mission was the caves. But our main plan hadn¡¯t been entirely successful and now we had little time to enact a new one. Two whisper women and three seedlings against¡ª

    ¡°Get away!¡± Mishtaw¡¯s yell cut through my thoughts.

    We were right next to the edge. She started to sprint as she yelled, headed away from both the cave system and the cliff face. I scrambled to follow after her and saw the others do the same out of the corner of my eye.

    They all had the advantage of long legs. Even Juniper was faster than me and she was younger by a year.

    A grating crash came from behind me as the creature slammed head first into the pile of rubble we created. Smaller splashes and thunks followed as the rocks were thrown further into the cave and into the air around us. I dodged out of the way of one the size of my head. It left a groove in the ground by my feet.

    A second large slam. The ground shuddered and I had to catch my footing as I felt something give. More large splashes and I risked a glance back. More of the cave¡¯s ceiling had crumbled¡ªmost likely the creature¡¯s doing.

    Had that been the plan all along or had the Lady Blue thrown subtly and caution aside in favor of spitting in the goddess¡¯s eye as soon as we blocked her wind stream?

    It really wasn¡¯t fair that such a strong, giant creature could fit in the gap in the cliff that the broken cave entrance made.

    We kept running and the ground kept shuddering as the sea creature thrashed and bashed its way further into the goddess¡¯s territory. Other, random spots caved in as well, weakened by the water crashing through earlier and the continual aftershocks. Nor did I doubt that the fish hadn¡¯t been hard at work weakening the cave system¡¯s support if this was the way things were going now.

    Hattie stumbled. Then Mishtaw stumbled and Hattie sank knee deep on her next step as the ground crumbled out from underneath them. They leapt for the level ground in front of them but couldn¡¯t clear the distance without properly pushing against ground they no longer had. The slap of two people hitting water resounded out from below.

    I immediately started to slow down and aim for the side of the new hole. Juniper and Idra tried to avoid going in as well but they weren¡¯t lucky enough to have the same clearance I did. They had only been a few steps behind the whisper women.

    Juniper let her feet slide out from under her and twisted. Trying to grip onto the ground to slow her momentum and stop her from disappearing down into the dark, but there was little to grip on the side of the hole other than snow. She went over the edge with a yelp.

    Idra took the opposite tactic and ran faster at the hole, aiming to leap over a short distance to the ground that hadn¡¯t crumbled on her right. She made the jump, but the ground couldn¡¯t take her impact and collapsed beneath her feet. I heard the slap of her hitting the water.

    I skidded to a halt a few feet away from the new hole. I didn¡¯t have any desire to get any closer to the edge. Not with how fragile the ground had demonstrated itself to be. Backing up a few steps, I considered my options.

    A rampaging sea creature and fallen, trapped squad members who were most likely hurt in some capacity. If the creature heard us, if it knew where we were, and it could fit down this cave branch it wouldn¡¯t take the thing long to overwhelm them even with Idra¡¯s shield. She could only maintain it for so long, especially under heavy attack.

    I doubted it would help if I tried to join them in the tunnel and taking on the creature on my own would really test the limits of my ability not to die. Could I survive being bitten in half? Crushed against a stone wall?

    My gut said yes but I didn¡¯t exactly want to test what being ¡°alive¡± in such a state was like. And I had no guarantee of full recovery.

    I couldn¡¯t speak on the winds to get help but the outpost wasn¡¯t too far away. Hattie¡¯s squad members were still there. If the winds had calmed down enough they might be able to do it. Had one of them had black lips? I couldn¡¯t remember.

    Still, I¡¯d be more useful going to check than standing here. I ignored the urging of my healer¡¯s training to see how badly they were hurt and left. Better to go and hurry back than give away their position with my voice echoing down the tunnel by trying to check in with them. Besides, checking on them would meaning crawling to the edge of the hole and risking another collapse.

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    I sprinted.

    My breath felt like it was cutting my side open and the cold air dried out my mouth and throat. It didn¡¯t take long for my limbs to weigh me down and my face to pulse with heat. I wasn¡¯t used to pushing myself like this. Sure, I had sprinted during the game of Hunter¡¯s Quarry and when Fellen and I were fleeing from the bane pack, but I didn¡¯t have a physical threat nipping at my heels this time.

    I kept running anyways.

    One of Hattie¡¯s squad members was halfway inside the tent they rigged up, checking on the fire, while the other stood keeping watch. We caught sight of each other at the same time and, with her head no longer tucked down into her cloak and covered by its hood, I saw that her lips were black.

    She called out to me. ¡°Where are the others?¡±

    I dragged in a deep breath. ¡°Can you speak on the winds yet?¡±

    Her long face tightened in a grimace as I stumbled to a stop in front of her. ¡°No, they¡¯re still too volatile for me. Though I welcome that the wind¡¯s screaming has stopped.¡±

    The other woman pulled back out of the tent and looked between us. ¡°What¡¯s happened?¡±

    I filled them in as quick as I could. The pair quickly decided that Beet, the whisper woman, would travel through shadow and see if the squad members we had left behind in the forest had better luck or if they could join us. Most of the fog had been blown off in this area, but that was no guarantee that the released winds had done the same for the rest of the coastline. The pine tree shadows still weren¡¯t as strong as I was used to them being which was why the pair had kept their tent and fire setup going.

    I waited with her fire starter, checking over my supplies and weapons to fill the time. We didn¡¯t talk. She had her own things to check over.

    Beet returned a handful of minutes later with Melka following after. No one else appeared.

    Beet explained, ¡°The fog still isn¡¯t fully cleared where they were though they felt the wind return. Eliss returned to camp to see if any help can be found there and the fire starters will hunker down.¡±

    Melka was strapping on gloves with rock chips stitched over the knuckles. ¡°Aye. I would have brought another along but the shadows aren''t what they need to be today.¡± She adjusted the spear on her back and eyed me. ¡°Where to?¡±

    ¡°This way.¡±

    The fire starter stayed behind to make sure the fire stayed strong in case any more help tried to make it through while Beet and Melka followed at my back. I paced myself better this time, though I still tried to go as fast as I could without exhausting myself. I wouldn¡¯t be much help in a fight if I couldn¡¯t convince my legs to move.

    It didn¡¯t take long to return to the hole and I warned them about its fragile nature. Melka stayed back while Beet took off her shoes¡ªwhich was confusing¡ªand slipped up to the edge on her belly. I saw the reason why for her odd action a moment later when she reached a hand under the lip of the hole before following it with her other and flipping over the edge. There wasn¡¯t the telltale splash of a body hitting water though I heard a voice hiss in surprise from down below. Not all dead or unconscious then. I felt a tightness in my shoulders that I hadn¡¯t acknowledged lessen.

    Melka gestured with her hands. ¡°Her hands and feet can stick to a surface when she wishes it.¡±

    My eyebrows rose. ¡°To anything?¡±

    Melka shrugged.

    I didn¡¯t press. More soft sounds from below. Movement and¡­voices? I glanced over to the main cave tunnel where the sea creature was still rampaging and causing the ground to shudder. It was awfully close to where I guessed the tunnel the others had fallen into connected up with the main tunnel. So far it had seemed to ignore us but if it heard¡­

    Beet reappeared from the hole and came over to us. ¡°Everyone¡¯s alive. Hattie has a bad gash on her head where she got clipped by a falling stone but they wrapped it up. The others also have a few cuts and bruises but the water cushioned their short fall. I¡¯d carry them up but I don¡¯t think the ceiling would support two people.¡±

    As if simply bandaging a head wound was all there was to it. She could still bleed out if they hadn¡¯t put enough pressure on it and there was always the risk of infection.

    I glared up at Beet. ¡°If it was just the wall you think you could get them up?¡±

    ¡°It should support us.¡±

    ¡°How much ceiling is left?¡±

    She frowned. ¡°Three feet on this side, maybe two on the other.¡±

    I was really tired of falling.

    But having her pull them out was a much better plan than trying to sneak around the sea creature to see if the rumble from the cave entrance was still piled up enough to get them out or wandering around looking for some other unknown exit.

    I walked around to the other side of the hole and snapped out softly, ¡°Watch out.¡±

    I waited to hear signs of people moving out of the way but from what I could tell they were already gathered against the opposite edge. Then I did what Fellen had idiotically had done on the stone bridge and jumped.

    The ground didn¡¯t budge.

    I stomped and jumped and stumbled a little as another shudder rippled out from the sea creature¡¯s activities. Beet and Melka watched me like I had gone insane until I gave up and pointed at the ground beneath my feet. ¡°This side seems pretty sturdy.¡±

    Understanding dawned on their faces and Beet came over and tested it with her own weight. It held. She climbed down and started bringing the fallen up. The other seedlings first since they were lighter and wouldn¡¯t strain the way up as much and then Mishtaw and Hattie.

    They all looked the worse for wear, waterlogged with small cuts and bruises from the stones that had fallen with them or that had lay hidden under the water. Hattie was definitely the worst off. She was having a hard time focusing her gaze and when I checked her head wound it was still bleeding. I got weird looks for that, but only fear of the goddess¡¯s wrath kept me from pulling out the healing herbs I had stolen. I didn¡¯t think she was in danger of dying, but she wouldn¡¯t be much help in a fight and she¡¯d have a scar if the cut wasn¡¯t tended to properly.

    Mishtaw looked torn and tired as she switched her attention between the other squad leader and the sea creature. After a long moment she focused on Melka and Beet. ¡°Can either of you take her through the paths?¡±

    Melka shook her head. ¡°Not as they are. Nor has contact been made with camp yet.¡±

    She didn¡¯t say what we were all thinking: no one could imagine the camp falling, not with the root wall surrounding it, but given the way the day was going we couldn¡¯t deny the possibility of it at least being under attack and dangerous.

    Mishtaw nodded. ¡°One of you should take her back to the outpost then.¡±

    Melka considered her. ¡°And you?¡±

    Mishtaw eyed the sea creature. ¡°I had thought to get more reinforcements before facing that thing, but they seem to be sorely lacking, and if it reaches the forest¡­¡±

    If it reached the forest we might be dead anyways. The goddess had condemned a region for one pine tree getting burned down and I doubted that the thick headed sea creature would contain itself to just one if it got that far in its mission to open up the cave tunnels. If multiple trees were brought low¡­I shuddered.

    We needed to stop it.

    The trouble was figuring out how.

 Book 2 - Ch. 48: Snake Eyes

    Hattie refused to return to the outpost camp. She insisted that we needed as many as we could get against the armored snake, that her blessing to make holes in the ground could come in handy. No one could deny that even if her words were slurred and her reaction speed wasn¡¯t anywhere near what it needed to be going into a fight.

    Mishtaw and Melka gave her the task of trying to communicate with the rest of the whisper women, just in case she could break through the turbulent winds and get others here to help with the living disaster in front of us. However, Hattie wasn¡¯t to move from her spot unless the sea snake suddenly abandoned destroying the cave¡¯s ceiling and came after her. The chance of Hattie getting in touch with anyone or the snake abandoning its cause were slim, but the calculated risk allowed us to have another able fighter rather than lost as an escort of the squad leader.

    Despite Hattie¡¯s argument for staying, both she and Melka thought we shouldn¡¯t go get the fire starter watching over the fire and shadow at the outpost camp.

    Melka shook her head. ¡°Not Peacekeeper trained. It¡¯s better for her to stay where she is. The shadows being what they are today that¡¯ll be the best path for anyone who can come join us.¡±

    And that was that.

    So, for the actual fight, we were left with three whisper women and three seedlings. All of which were largely unused to fighting with each other.

    We rushed through what our blessings were and we rushed through a plan. I didn¡¯t like it, but the snake wasn¡¯t slowing down its destruction for us. The flimsy excuse we had for a plan was to deal enough damage to the snake that it would flee back to the ocean, similar to what I had Prevna do to the monster that ambushed us on the beach. Except we didn¡¯t have fast acting deadly poisons.

    Mishtaw hadn¡¯t forgotten about Juniper¡¯s deadly water sphere from our first fight after coming her squad. Unsurprisingly, Juniper had never tried to use the tactic on a creature as large as the armored snake, but if we couldn¡¯t drive the creature off then she was supposed to kill it with her water.

    The sound of cracking, tortured stone rent through the air followed quickly by heavy thumps and a few splashes. We turned to see a new section of the cave system crumbling to the snake¡¯s blows.

    Then Mishtaw snapped an order and we were running.

    As we ran, I saw her take out her prayer needle and prick her wrist before she spoke her ritual words. ¡°Blessings be upon the death I bring today.¡±

    Melka followed suit with Beet. ¡°Blood and honor we offer the goddess.¡±

    Juniper, Idra, and I were too slow to say the words with them, but we pricked our wrists in offering. My mind was only partially on the group and the act of readying my spear while running. The rest still turned over a half-formed plan in my mind to kill the armored snake. I¡¯d need Idra¡¯s shield and Juniper¡¯s water if the plan had any real chance of working, so my first order of business was making sure they made it through the next few minutes.

    We reached the lip of the destroyed cave tunnel near the snake¡¯s tail. It ignored us. Beet leapt from the edge without a hint of hesitation and stuck onto the monster¡¯s back. It thrashed like a sheep trying to get rid of an annoying bug but she shifted to the side before it could slam her into the wall with its tail.

    Mishtaw and Melka were running along the new ravine¡¯s edge towards the snake¡¯s head. The other seedlings and I followed. There weren¡¯t any weak spots in the creature¡¯s scales for our spears to stick into that I could see and I wasn¡¯t about to jump after Beet. That way seemed like a quick leap to getting crushed or drowned for anyone who couldn¡¯t stick to whatever they wanted.

    Melka reached the snake¡¯s head right as it was about to smash its three layered crest up into the next unbroken section of cave ceiling. I glanced ahead as Mishtaw let out her whooping yell and new strength and speed surged through my limbs. Five hundred or so feet before we hit the tree line.

    Melka threw her spear. The creature screamed and aborted its upward movement to sweep its head protectively to the side. The cave ceiling cracked but didn¡¯t crumble. Some time bought then.

    When the snake moved back into position I saw that the whisper woman had gotten a perfect throw in. The snake¡¯s right eye was ruined.

    That didn¡¯t seem to slow it down much.

    The next portion of cave ceiling exploded into a rain of rubble. We had to sprint to the side away from the snake and its ravine so that we didn¡¯t get hit by one of the bigger pieces. I hoped that Beet dodged the worst of it.

    Mishtaw threw her spear next as soon as we drew alongside it again. It stuck in the back of the snake¡¯s throat. Yellow blood ran from its eye and mouth, coating gray-white scales, and for a brief moment I thought we could win.

    Then the creature struck.

    Blinded on one side, it missed Mishtaw by a foot and left a long, deep furrow in the ground in front of us. I tried to stab it with my spear but my reach was too short and the snake was gone in an instant.

    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Melka wasn¡¯t so lucky. The snake snapped forward again and got her around the shoulder and torso before flinging her up in the air. My teeth ground together. It was playing with us.

    It had its head back, jaws open wide, ready to swallow Melka whole when the whisper woman¡¯s aura burst out from her and the snake recoiled back from the sudden terror that washed over the area. I struggled against the urge to flee, knowing that it was an effect of her blessing and that doing so wouldn¡¯t help the fight. She must not have had the control to choose who her blessing affected.

    Beet appeared around the side of the snake and caught Melka before her second-in-commander slammed into one of the snake¡¯s hard ridges. Rather than flee, the snake tried to constrict around the both of them. Beet pulled Melka along out of the coils but Melka didn¡¯t seem to be moving as well as she should have and Beet¡¯s mobility wasn¡¯t nearly as good with another to support.

    Mishtaw yelled again and another burst of vitality shot through me. The pair on the snake began to move better but it couldn¡¯t last.

    I turned to Juniper. She had been making water overflow from her hands ever since the we returned near the creature¡¯s head. Idra stood by her, ready to create her invisible sphere at a moment¡¯s notice while Juniper¡¯s small stream flowed over the lip of the ravine. The flow wasn¡¯t strong enough though to do more than run down the cave¡¯s wall.

    It wasn¡¯t even close to touching the snake.

    ¡°Beet! Over here!¡±

    She didn¡¯t hear me.

    Mishtaw grabbed my spear out of my hand and threw it. The spear hit in the softer scales just under the snake¡¯s jaw. More yellow blood covered its scales before my spear snapped in half from the snake¡¯s movement.

    A malevolent eye settled on Mishtaw and the snake snapped forward to take a bite out of the whisper woman who kept wounding it. Mishtaw and I scrambled backwards.

    The snake made another long furrow in the snowy ground¡ªand touched Juniper¡¯s stream just as it was about to reach our squad leader.

    ¡°Surge!¡± Juniper screamed.

    Her hands shifted to make an enclosed sphere as the pearl on her forehead flashed brighter. A sphere of water large enough to enclose the snake¡¯s head, crest and all, bubbled up from her tiny stream.

    My heart beat in my throat as we all waited for its head to bloat. The giant fish had taken a minute or two. Perhaps¡ª

    The snake sucked in most of the water and spat it back out in a stream at Mishtaw causing the sphere to burst. Mishtaw stumbled back from the force of the water and one of her feet slipped over the ravine¡¯s edge. I reached for her but I wasn¡¯t quick or tall enough and she fell.

    Juniper and Idra went flying as the snake swung its head to the side before Idra could get her dome up. The snake swung its head back in the opposite direction to do the same to me.

    I leapt for its crest.

    The world blurred by as I scrambled for a hold and then desperately tried to not get thrown off. I braced myself on the backside of its crest, clutching to one of the rounded nubs that branched off from the crest. It smelled of brine and algae. The crest felt like a rough stone under my hand.

    Then the world tilted and suddenly I was falling even as I held onto the creature. A thundering crack resounded all around me before we hit water.

    I lost my grip on the snake. Of course, the only reason why I wasn¡¯t smashed flat was because I had perched behind the snake¡¯s impenetrable crest. The snake rolled away from me and I did my best to find the water¡¯s surface as rocks continued to splash in around me. One hit me in the back and another sliced me along the arm but that helped me locate the surface.

    Thrashing snake destroying more of the cave system. No one else to be seen and the forest looming a lot closer than it had been.

    I swam quickly toward a large rock pile the snake was ignoring and settled behind it, trying to figure out what happened. What I should do next.

    I drew in long, heaving breaths as the cold, salty water made me shiver. The snake must have slammed its whole body into the last section and caused most of it to collapse. Apparently, it didn¡¯t like being delayed or distracted from its task.

    I was nowhere near its head now and all I had was my waterlogged sling and eating knife. Neither was strong enough to punch through its scales. I could maybe take out the other eye but I doubted blindness would prevent it from crashing into rock.

    Rawley¡¯s spear was still in its mouth. If I couldn¡¯t get it from the outside perhaps I still could from the inside?

    I swallowed.

    This was a foolish idea. It wasn¡¯t even a plan.

    But as far as I could tell there wasn¡¯t anyone else left to do anything and risking the snake¡¯s gut seemed safer than risking the goddess¡¯s wrath.

    Nothing would come of it though if I didn¡¯t first get its attention. The snake was preparing to destroy another part of the cave¡¯s ceiling.

    I stood up from behind my rock pile and threw a rock at it. The snake didn¡¯t even twitch. I threw another rock with my sling. The water made the weight of it off but this time my rock hit it in the nose.

    A minor miracle.

    The snake turned and glared at me with its one good eye. I slung another rock at it for good measure and that one bounced off the part of the crest above its eye. Still did the trick though.

    The snake hissed and I glowered at it.

    ¡°Bite me.¡±

    It dove for me.

    One second, two¡­

    I cursed everything about this horrible day and jumped for the spear stuck in the back of its throat. The snake¡¯s mouth closed before I got both my legs all the way and pain bloomed around my calf. The spear was slimy and wet in my hands but it still felt strong. I felt the monster trying to swallow me, pull me down into its gullet, so I kicked it in the roof of its mouth with my free leg.

    It reared back with its mouth open. I pulled my injured leg in and repositioned the spear so it pointed straight up, bracing myself against its gums and throat, one hand with a death grip on its horrible tongue.

    The snake snapped its mouth closed again and as it did I felt the spear do its work. Soft tissue parted until I thought I hit something vital. My world spun again as the snake thrashed and shook its head but I held on, not sure if anyone would think to check the snake¡¯s stomach if I was swallowed. Each of its movements was weaker than the last until, finally, there was one last crash and water burst into its mouth.

    I shoved my way through the opening and swam as best as I could to a small boulder that wasn¡¯t completely submerged. For a brief moment I was reminded of the time Fellen and I barely made it onto the bank of the underground lake in Flickermark as I pulled myself up onto the rock, exhausted.

    I never ever wanted to see another gigantic water snake again.

    But if I did, next time I would make sure there was a better plan than dive into the thing¡¯s mouth.

 Book 2 - Ch. 49: Rescue Attempts

    The terror hit me afterwards. Shivers shook me from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes and not just because I was soaked through during the cold season. I had nearly been eaten after willingly leaping into a giant snake¡¯s mouth. I didn¡¯t know where the others were or if the Lady Blue had another large beast to send after us when we were separated and hurting. During the fight I could think solely in actions and consequences, but now that it was over the fear I had ruthlessly ignored set back in.

    I curled up weakly on my boulder and tried to force my gasping breaths back under control. In and out. In and out. Slowly. It took longer than I liked, but the knowledge that I was little more than bait down here in the new ravine if even so much as an enemy fish came perversely helped. The potential threat helped me focus on my options.

    Staying where I was wasn¡¯t much of one. I¡¯d be trapped by the steep walls without a quick escape or a good place to hide. The only cover was the occasional cluster of rocks that broke the surface of the water, the snake¡¯s body, or further up where the sea snake hadn¡¯t managed to fully collapse the ceiling and the new cave entrance began. Either way though everything was surrounded by briny sea water which gave the home advantage to any sea creature that came swimming in here next.

    Getting out of the ravine was my best bet, but between the deep bruise forming on my leg and the cut on my arm it wasn¡¯t going to be an easy task. I knew better than to count on reinforcements to show up to somehow help me out. Things were never that easy or convenient.

    The walls of what had been the main outlet of the cave were higher than where the others had fallen through, but there wasn¡¯t a partial ceiling to contend with and there were some less than smooth patches. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if those areas were the remains of walls the fish had broken through to get this oddly straight path toward the forest.

    The snake hadn¡¯t died stretched out flat either. It¡¯s long body sprawled out past me, forming arches and curling around itself. I could use one of the arches to get higher up before I needed to climb the wall¡ªnot that the snake would be easy to clamber up.

    And all that was supposing that I could climb, if I wanted to. Exhaustion pulled at my limbs, made the boulder feel closer to a sleeping pallet than hard stone. Not that I was so far gone that I¡¯d fall asleep, but the temptation was there. It was also annoying that I had managed to hurt my leg again. I was getting tired of sustaining injuries that made it difficult to walk.

    That and falling and sea snakes I could all do without for the foreseeable future.

    This time, at least, I thought I could put weight on my leg even if doing so sent teeth grinding pain flaring through my calf. Especially now that the rush from the fight was fading. The bruise had likely gone down to the bone.

    I forced myself up into a sitting position and started to undo the hook clasps on my protective coat with fumbling fingers. Now that it was soaked through with water and stained yellow in most places from the snake¡¯s blood, its bloated weight outweighed its protective benefits. I wasn¡¯t going to be able to wear it and still have the energy to swim and climb my way out this mess.

    Once I shrugged off the coat I instantly felt twice as light, though the exhaustion still pulled at me. I really hoped the Lady Blue had run out of minions or was distracted with another part of the coast.

    My cloak was more dead weight so I took that off too. It was a bit annoying to lose it so soon after loosing my last one, but survival was more important than sentiments. I got my belt and supplies resituated now that the coat was out of the way. My sling was still soaked. I¡¯d likely have make myself a new one. It might be able to withstand getting damp from rain, but getting repeatedly dunked in salt water was another thing entirely. My water proofing on my pouches had saved most of my other supplies though some water had slipped in where the pouches cinched closed. A ceramic jar in my poisoner¡¯s pouch had shattered into pieces and two others were cracked, but overall the damage was manageable. I even still had my eating knife, though that would also need maintenance because of the water.

    I didn¡¯t want to get in the water again. It was cold and felt odd and anything that wanted to attack me would likely be able to out swim me despite my years of growing up in a waterhole tribe. More water might slip into my pouches and damage more of my herbs or other supplies.

    But I also didn¡¯t have much of a choice. My boulder didn¡¯t butt up against a rough stretch of wall and water lay between me and any other options. Besides, I was already cold and wet as I was going to get. The water couldn¡¯t hurt me more that way.

    I was about to slip into the dark water when noise came from above the ravine. I froze. Caught between the hope that more whisper women had arrived and the need to hide just in case it was somehow a squad of fish or new enemy.

    A face with black lips appeared over the lip of the opposite wall farther down the ravine. I let out an involuntary shout of surprised relief and the whisper woman turned to look at me. I didn¡¯t recognize her, but she acknowledged me with a raised hand before turning back as if to speak to someone and stepping out of view.

    Not long after another whisper woman appeared at the edge of the ravine across from me. She yelled, ¡°Pick up your things and then stand with your arms outstretched from your sides. Tasha will get you out.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but glaring a little before I nodded. I had just gotten everything off. I didn¡¯t bother fitting the coat under my belt again or buttoning it closed. Instead, I shoved my arms through the sopping sleeves and called it good. If I had to undo all my hard work, then Tasha, whoever she was, could deal with it. The cloak went back around my neck and I stood with my arms idiotically outstretched, putting as little weight as possible on my injured leg.

    The whisper woman checked on my progress before speaking and nodding to someone out of sight. Next thing I knew, a giant black and gray hawk trailing dark smoke or¡­shadows appeared over the ridge and dived for me. There was no way the thing could ever be misconstrued as something natural. I stared, too shocked and tired to do more than stand there like an idiot while the hawk caught itself and slowed its dive with several beats of its wings.

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    Then, positioned above me, the hawk encased my arms with its talons before wrenching me away from my boulder. My shoulders wrenched too and my cloak dragged at my throat, but there wasn¡¯t much I could do about either dangling between the hawk¡¯s feet. It was at least the size of two elk put together and had to maneuver carefully so that it didn¡¯t clip its wings on the walls.

    We rose above the lip of the ravine and my stomach roiled a little. I couldn¡¯t decide if I liked the feeling of so much space around me, above and below, or if I really just needed the ground beneath my feet again. The hawk set me down as gently as it could about two dozen paces from the edge of the ravine and I collapsed to my knees. There was a rush of movement behind me before I heard a pair of feet thump down into the snow and the weighty presence of the hawk disappeared.

    I twisted to find that a young whisper woman had appeared behind me. She looked like she could have been the same age as Hana, the whisper woman who had excellent control over the shadow paths and set Fellen and me on our trial in Flickermark. However, this whisper woman didn¡¯t have the same dismissive attitude and she was striking in a way the other woman never could have managed.

    Fine, straight black hair fell to her hips and was braided back in a half up-do to keep it out of her oddly kind gray eyes. Other thin plaits and beads decorated the rest of her hair. She had warm, tanned skin and her mark peaked out from her robe from where it swirled along her collar bones. No bulky protective coat for her. Her robe and dress highlighted her slight curves well.

    I ducked my head, cheeks burning.

    Normally, I would never be caught dead staring. It invited silent rejection or conversation and I didn¡¯t need or want either. It had been a long, trying day. I was exhausted. She had just displayed a great blessing. In any other circumstances, I would have had control of myself.

    I resolved to have control of myself in all circumstances.

    Tasha crouched down in front of me and spoke, sweet but intently curious, ¡°What happened here?¡±

    I choked through a few incoherent words before taking a deep breath and breaking down events as if I was reporting to Mishtaw or the commander. I kept my gaze on the snow near her knee before I forgot myself as I asked a question of my own. ¡°Has any¡ªhas anyone¡ª¡± I swallowed before steeling myself and making myself meet her concerned gaze. ¡°Has anyone else been found?¡±

    She let my odd behavior pass without comment and nodded. ¡°We found Hattie and two other seedlings near here on the cliffs. They were hurt, though their injuries didn¡¯t seem fatal, and they¡¯ve already been brought back to the camp.¡± She hesitated, gaze casting back to the ravine. ¡°Did you really kill that sea snake?¡±

    That pricked my pride enough to return me closer to my normal demeanor. ¡°The spear¡¯s still in its mouth if you want to check.¡±

    I turned to look back at the ravine as well and felt a shiver run up my spine. The snake had come much closer than I liked to the edge of the goddess¡¯s forest. Another full body slam or a handful of head butts and the goddess¡¯s trees would have fallen.

    Tasha shifted as something else caught her attention and stood. ¡°It seems two more have been found.¡±

    I followed her gaze to where another whisper woman was lowering herself down a rope into the ravine. From what I could tell at least seven whisper women had come to our aid. I didn¡¯t recognize any of them, but that didn¡¯t mean much when I¡¯d personally met little over two dozen whisper women so far between Hana, the Dark Night Celebrations, my time in the Seedling Palace, and now here at the battle front. And most of those I didn¡¯t know by name.

    She glanced down at me, caught somewhere between shock at my tone and concern. ¡°Rest here. Someone will take you back to camp soon.¡±

    The whisper woman hurried over to where the others were working on rescuing whoever had been found. Based on the pairing I assumed it was Melka and Beet, but that also raised my worry about Mishtaw. She was resilient. She would be found and be fine.

    Tasha didn¡¯t swoop down to get them. Presumably, they weren¡¯t in a good spot for her to get her talons around them. Instead my suspicions were confirmed and Melka was carried up awkwardly between two other whisper women. Beet climbed up on her own once she no longer had to support Melka¡¯s weight though she looked as exhausted as I felt when she dragged herself over the edge.

    Tasha chatted with her while the two who had carried Melka up promptly got to work carrying her towards the outpost camp with the help of a third. I dragged myself up and over to them. They weren¡¯t moving as fast as they clearly wanted to.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with her?¡±

    They didn¡¯t stop shuffling forward though the whisper woman holding Melka¡¯s feet answered, ¡°She¡¯s not breathing. Beet was having trouble holding her out of the water near the end and she said Melka might have taken in water.¡±

    It¡¯d be too long if they tried to take her all the way back to the healers in the main camp. I knew this. Half-drowned patients weren¡¯t that uncommon in a water hole tribe. People got reckless or stupid and she and I would have to bring them back from the brink. There wasn¡¯t any herbs or salves involved either. Perhaps not healing as most tended to think of it.

    I didn¡¯t want to risk the goddess¡¯s wrath but I had just saved Her forest. I thought of Hattie and her easy interactions with her second in command. I tried to tell myself the healers in camp might know exactly what to do and would make it in time.

    One part of me knew what I was going to do was insanely stupid, another part tried to argue against it, and the third, overwhelming part simply couldn¡¯t leave Melka to die. Not when I had the knowledge and skill.

    ¡°Put her down. Flat on her back. Gently.¡±

    The whisper women actually paused at the orders before two scoffed and one gave me a suspicious look. ¡°Wait your turn.¡±

    I crossed my arms, gritting my teeth through the pain radiating from my leg, and kept pace with them. ¡°She won¡¯t make it until you reach camp. Do you want her to live?¡± I paused to let the possibilities sink in. ¡°Then put her down.¡±

    The talkative whisper woman snapped at me, ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡±

    I felt the anger swell in me, the pressure, and then I was holding out the shortened piece of hair near my temple, a challenge. ¡°I do.¡±

    They stopped and stared at me for several long moments before one collected herself. ¡°You can¡¯t do anything anyways then.¡±

    I glared back at her. ¡°What I¡¯m going to do isn¡¯t healing. No herbs. But I was part of a waterhole tribe and I know how to help her.¡±

    They hesitated again before I prompted, ¡°Hurry!¡±

    They set her down and the one who had been supporting Melka¡¯s head backed away. ¡°This is on you.¡±

    I nodded and they moved away.

    I pinched her ear first, just to see if that would be enough to wake her up, but she didn¡¯t stir, so then I followed the saying she would say bitterly: your breath for theirs. I pressed my lips to Melka¡¯s and prepared to breathe five deep breaths down her throat. After the fifth she still didn¡¯t stir so I moved to try to press the liquid out of her chest before returning to give her breath. On the fourth breath of the second round, she spluttered. I hurried to help her roll onto her side and water splattered out onto the snow. She coughed out more water and breathed on her own as I felt both dread and elation twist around in my chest.

    Would the goddess strike me down where I knelt or had I skirted around Her notice?

 Book 2 - Ch. 50: Splitting Hairs

    Roots didn¡¯t lash out from the ground and smother me in their embrace. A sudden squall didn¡¯t form and strike me down with lightning or freeze me into a statue with icy snow. The goddess¡¯s forest didn¡¯t shift and darkness didn¡¯t descend. My mark didn¡¯t even prickle.

    Melka breathed, but I hesitated to relax and join her as I waited for the goddess¡¯s censure.

    Had I escaped Her notice?

    I was only a seedling. Perhaps I was insignificant enough to the goddess not to warrant punishment or vigilance. She might be thought to have an all seeing eye, but just because you could see everything didn¡¯t mean you could pay attention to it all.

    Then my eyes caught on the whisper women who had been carrying Melka and I knew I hadn¡¯t escaped judgment after all. What the goddess didn¡¯t care to do, we were perfectly capable of doing for Her.

    Condemnation and distrust marred the expressions of all three whisper women. The wide eyes of one even burgeoned on fearful while another looked like I had just spit in her eye.

    I knew those looks, that stiff body language, the stance caught between wanting to move away and rush forward to remove the threat. I had grown up with them when I still had healer¡¯s beads to justify the response.

    Too much life. Unnatural. Dangerous.

    Those looks said it all.

    And I didn¡¯t have the beads to keep them in check. To mark me out as one sanctioned to do what I¡¯d done, no matter how distasteful it was to everyone else.

    Funny how I had never thought of the healer¡¯s beads as being symbols of protection before. Though that was hardly surprising given the amount of scorn they elicited¡ªeven among some who wore them.

    The need to run buzzed through my exhausted legs.

    I never should have pointed out my shortened lock of hair or done anything remotely close to healing in front of others. I don¡¯t know how else I could have gotten them to put Melka down or gotten the dying woman alone, but I knew down to my bones now that despite the impulse to save her, I shouldn¡¯t have done it. Not as I had.

    It didn¡¯t matter that I hadn¡¯t used herbs and had said it wasn¡¯t healing. Who could trust the word of a healer? Likely, they had seen other healers do something similar and they knew they would never have done it, if they even knew how.

    Melka was breathing now because I had given her breath and I had no beads. In their eyes I had healed her. You could not practice healing without the beads. Doing so merited swift and brutal judgment. A cold and clear line of logic. That was enough for them.

    In saving a woman I barely knew, I had condemned myself.

    Phantom eyes began to bore into me, snide comments and whispers flinting on the edge of hearing as memories rose, trying to pull me into their depths. Unlike with the fog there were plenty of memories tied to the looks levied at me. They pulled at me, trying to override my senses and make me believe I was a healer¡¯s child again, shameful and pathetic and tainted.

    But I had no mother and there were so many memories it oddly made it easier to shove them back from the forefront of my mind. I could not be at the end of the line waiting for the dregs of the tribe¡¯s midday meal while I was also at the edge of the lake watching the other children play water games and pointedly ignore me. I could not be in the tent enduring her favored look of disappointment while a limping huntress I was supposed to help bring there recoiled from my touch while the sun shone overhead. On and on and on.

    Indignation sparked in my chest.

    Who were they to bring the memories up against me, even unwittingly? Who were they to level looks of horror and disgust at me when I had just delivered the final blow to the Lady Blue¡¯s sea snake?

    I had protected the goddess¡¯s forest. I had saved Melka, one of their own and the second-in-command of a squad. I had saved the commander from a deadly fall off the root wall and completed her trial with the crawler. Further back, I had completed the goddess¡¯s own trial to escape Flickermark with nothing but the clothes on my back.

    They had no right to judge me. Not with every other act I had done to counteract this one.

    The need to run still itched at me, but exhaustion pulled at me harder and I knew I would never outrun them, especially with my hurt leg. Besides, the indignation burned hotter as Melka rolled onto her elbows, spluttering the last of the water out of her lungs and I drew in my own breath of sharp, cold air.

    I glared back at the three whisper women. ¡°That wasn¡¯t healing.¡± I gestured to Melka. ¡°She¡¯s getting the water out all on her own.¡±

    The one who had been carrying Melka¡¯s feet protested, ¡°But before¡ª¡±

    Beyond caring about being sensible or her sensibilities, I cut her off. ¡°That wasn¡¯t healing. Or don¡¯t you think the goddess would have punished me by now?¡±

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    The talkative one snapped, ¡°What was it then?¡±

    ¡°First aid. Like bandaging a wound.¡±

    They stopped short at that though I could tell they didn¡¯t fully believe me. Bandaging a wound might not belong solely in the healer¡¯s domain, but did what I had done fall in the same narrow category?

    Bandaging a wound and changing bandages didn¡¯t often count as healing because it could be argued that the body was still healing itself without any outside help so no surplus of life was being generated. The body itself was maintaining the necessary internal balance between life and death. Personally, I also thought it was because being able to bandage yourself or others was only practical, especially when it came to more grievous injuries, if you wanted a better chance of survival rather than gushing blood for an ideal.

    However, it was also true that not everyone carried bandages and were more likely to bring their trouble to a more specialized person if a healer wasn¡¯t immediately available, someone known to hold more death than others. Like the huntresses or Grandmother or an Echo like Old Lily. Better the risk fall on someone less likely to punished rather than the common person who didn¡¯t have any death in them to spare.

    These whisper women didn¡¯t know where in the balance I fell. All they knew was that I was a seedling, which meant I had less death in me than them, and that I had alluded to having healer¡¯s beads at some point in the past--all of which pointed to me having more life in me than was safe or good for this situation.

    So I touched a finger to my chin and felt them all lock onto the trial mark that decorated my skin there. It presented a silent argument. How could I be life-ridden if I had completed one of the goddess¡¯s trials at my age and been recognized for it? Surely, such a thing meant I had death in me to spare just like those other people who might bandage a wound if a healer wasn¡¯t at hand. And that meant, if giving breath for breath was like bandaging a wound, there was little risk to what I had done.

    They thought and considered and at least one, the one who had supported Melka¡¯s head, didn¡¯t like it. The middle one relaxed as she thought through the implications and seemed to accept my assertions. The last one gave me a long, long look before finally seeming to decide that this was my risk alone to bear.

    I decided to push one last time and gestured to Melka again. ¡°You should still take her to an actual healer.¡±

    More than one glare was directed my way and the whisper woman who had become the main voice of the group spoke, ¡°The goddess¡¯s wrath may yet find you.¡±

    I dredged up all the false confidence I could muster. ¡°Then I¡¯ll accept Her anger then.¡± I waited for a moment before adding, meeting her gaze. ¡°But there is no fault for Her to find here.¡±

    The whisper woman¡¯s eyes narrowed as her lips pressed into a line. ¡°That¡¯s for the goddess to judge.¡±

    At that point Melka had regained enough presence of mind to rasp out, ¡°The snake?¡±

    ¡°Dead.¡± The corner of my mouth curled up in a vicious little smile.

    She blinked slowly, processing that, before asking, ¡°The others?¡±

    The whisper woman swooped in and helped her to her feet before I could answer again. ¡°Being found and brought back to camp, just like you.¡±

    She wrapped Melka¡¯s arm around her shoulders while the whisper woman who had previously supported Melka¡¯s feet stepped in to support her other side. They began to guide her forward while the last whisper woman was directed back to help the other rescue efforts and I was promptly ignored.

    I doubted this would be the last of the issue though. There had been too much distrust in their manner. Once everything calmed down someone would bring up the fact that I had saved Melka and not everyone would simply accept my thin arguments that I hadn¡¯t actually healed her.

    Not when I wasn¡¯t even entirely sure on which side of the healer¡¯s domain my actions actually lay. The goddess hadn¡¯t killed me where I sat, so according to common knowledge that meant I hadn¡¯t healed someone without healer¡¯s beads. But there was still the truth I had only seen healers perform the act before and there was still the fact that the knowledge of what I needed to do had been passed down from a healer.

    At the same time I could believe my impromptu arguments about why it wasn¡¯t actually healing. I hadn¡¯t used herbs and I had merely made it so Melka¡¯s body could do what it normally would on its own. Plus, I wasn¡¯t as life-ridden as I used to be. Ever since I cut off my beads the life in me that had built up from my years as a healer¡¯s apprentice should have been ebbing away. I wasn¡¯t healing enough to sustain the taint and though people from a healer¡¯s family were thought to naturally have more life in them, that also should be fading now that my connection with them was broken. Her extra life couldn¡¯t spill into me anymore.

    Raised voices broke into my thoughts and I shoved the dilemma away to focus on what was happening.

    Mishtaw had been found! Tasha, in her hawk form, was lifting the squad leader out of the ravine. Mishtaw looked half-drowned, blood matted hair stuck to the side of her head and neck where her braid had come loose, another long cut bloodied her protective jacket on her left thigh, and her right shoulder looked dislocated as she was only hanging from Tasha by one talon.

    But otherwise she looked alert and was breathing.

    A line of tension loosened in my shoulders. No one had died despite the terrible odds of the fight. Frankly, I was a little amazed that Beet and I seemed to have gotten away with the lightest of injuries out of everyone¡ªunless Juniper and Idra hadn¡¯t been too badly hurt from being head butted across the snowy cliff top.

    I stayed where I was and waited. There wasn¡¯t any need to make another spectacle of myself when one of the whisper women who had seen me possibly heal Melka was still around and Tasha and Beet had both cast appraising looks at me when they talked before. I wasn¡¯t sure if they thought I was lying about killing the snake and trying to take the credit or if they believed me and now were uncomfortably interested in my potential. I didn¡¯t need more people trying to influence or use me.

    I had had more than enough of that already.

    Once Mishtaw touched down on the ground and Tasha returned to her human form, they gathered the handful of remaining whisper women and began to walk and talk as they headed back to the outpost camp. Mishtaw had to be in a great deal of pain but she hid it well and refused to let anyone help support her, though she did have a slight limp with her injured leg. No one moved over to help me either, but when Mishtaw noticed me she gestured for me to follow. I didn¡¯t miss the guarded surprise in her expression.

    I followed, slow and limping, as we made our way back though I never quite caught up enough to hear what was said between the whisper women. When it was time to travel through the shadow paths it was Tasha who gripped my wrist. If she hesitated before doing so, it was too quick for me to catch when I was focused on putting one foot in front of the other rather than lying down to sleep for an entire day like my body wanted to do.

 Book 2 - Ch. 51: Aftermath

    We returned to a waterlogged ruin.

    Oh, the root wall was still as tall and imposing as ever along with the goddess¡¯s three supernatural pine trees, but when we returned to the main camp I was pulled out of the shadow on a bough of the center tree because everything else was covered in twenty feet of salt water.

    With the fog gone, I could see piles of smashed tents and other debris pressed up against the root wall. Dead fish floated on the water¡¯s surface. Through the pine needles I could see whisper women and fire starters diving into the new lake¡¯s depths¡ªpossibly looking for hidden enemies and survivors.

    I swayed and Tasha pulled me further out on the branch, out of the way, before making me sit. She left me there without a word and I watched, blankly, as she disappeared back into the shadow with her group.

    The clashing scents of salt and pine coated everything.

    I don¡¯t know what those whisper women thought when they had been trying to bring Melka here. Unless they had wanted to bring her even further to the Seedling Palace¡ªas if she would have lasted that long. I only picked out two harried healers in the branches that were patching up the worst injured before sending them on to the healers¡¯ nests at the Seedling Palace.

    My fingers itched to help them, but I knew the risk I had already taken was dangerous enough without immediately compounding it. I didn¡¯t know these injured, even if I kept catching myself straining to see if the other seedlings were among them, and this place was more in the goddess¡¯s eye than that cliff had been.

    I tried not to think about all the people who had been in the camp when we left. Breck and Ento. Petra. Had they survived what happened here or was ill news on its way? Had Kaylan been here or had she gone out with one of the rescue squads? Was Prevna still safe at the makeshift camp in the forest?

    I had no way to find out. Not now. I couldn¡¯t leave the camp now without aid and the walk back to the outpost had taken the last of my strength. All I could do was sit on the branch like an idiot and take in snatches of conversation around me.

    The main camp had been hit by another wave. There was some speculation that the first had been a trial run to see how big a wave was needed to breach the wall. I shuddered as I pictured such a looming wall of water. Some thought the fog was unnatural, others weren¡¯t convinced. It seemed that the huge wave hadn¡¯t carried as many fish soldiers as estimates thought it could have brought and that, while there were some fights along the coast, they hadn¡¯t been as coordinated as true surprise attack ought to have been. That had saved our people¡¯s lives and led to debate of whether this was proof of the fish¡¯s low intelligence or a case of an unexpected advantage quickly acted on.

    The fish along the coast hadn¡¯t targeted the stranded outposts or rescue groups either. Instead, they had chosen locations between the outposts where handfuls of Shore Eaters gorged and did their best to create new channels of salt water creeping ever inwards. A couple groups had stumbled on the effort in the fog and lived to tell the tale. Now that the fog was gone reserves from the Seedling Palace were coming to help clear the infestation.

    Other reports were trickling in of fish being spotted a lot further inland than they had any business being and there was even mention of the sea snake. Given how the monstrous thing had smashed straight forward and hadn¡¯t been hindered by the natural meandering quality of most caves, I could only assume the way had been prepared for it to have as easy access to the goddess¡¯s forest as possible.

    Everyone was on high alert for another attack or difficult weather. Groups were constantly appearing from and disappearing into the tree¡¯s shadow. It was odd to think that so many were coming from the Seedling Palace to help when we had been on our own here for nearly a month, but this wasn¡¯t a slight whisper women could take lightly.

    I heard that three or five whisper women in camp had helped protect themselves and others from the titanic wave and debris. If they hadn¡¯t there would have been a sharp increase in fatalities. As it was, there was over a hundred dead between the wave and fighting, and nearly double that of injured based on the most recent estimates I overheard. Nearly everyone I saw had some type of injury unless they were from one of the coast groups that got away unscathed or were fresh from the Seedling Palace. Fire starters had the higher percentage of dead and injured compared to whisper women, but I thought that was due more to ratio than sheer ability.

    Over a fourth of our forces here gone just like that and nearly everyone else¡¯s capabilities impaired. No wonder we were getting reinforced. Even more than the slight the Lady Blue dealt, we probably couldn¡¯t hold this location without the help.

    Looking over the devastated camp, I wasn¡¯t sure we could hold it even with the new fighters. The water below was draining out, slowly, but the cold, wet mud it would leave behind wouldn¡¯t make for easy or comfortable camping. And, even then, what was the point if the fish could dump another wave on us?

    No one was willing to go too far down that dispiriting chain of thought but it was easy to pick out among what wasn¡¯t said. It had been thought that such unnatural waves of water were more of myth than reality and that, if they could be used, it would only be sparingly. And yet we had been hit by two in less than a month and one had even breached the root wall of all things.

    Some wanted the root wall made higher, but that discussion stopped as soon as it was pointed out that the wall was goddess made. Then nervous postures reigned as if everyone was waiting for Her to show up right then and there, incensed that her creation had been beat.

    The way things were going I couldn¡¯t really deny the possibility.

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    I¡¯m not sure how long I sat there on the branch, watching the hive of activity around me. I do know when everyone went ominously still.

    A large cracking sound echoed throughout the camp.

    I turned with everyone else toward the large pine closest to where the wave would have hit. It felt like a stone lodged itself under my heart as I barely dared to breathe.

    One of the pine¡¯s large branches, about halfway up, creaked loudly again. I saw small figures jumping to other branches or wisping to nothing as they hurried into the shadow paths. It wasn¡¯t enough.

    Another ominous crack crackled out as the branch bobbed downward once¡­twice¡ªand then it was crashing down through the lower branches. The sound of bark striking bark filled the camp along with smaller snapping sounds as the branch took smaller branches with it. A handful of people also didn¡¯t get out of the way fast enough and splashed down into the briny water with the broken branch.

    We watched as the branch bobbed there. A few people broke out of the trance long enough to dive after those that had fallen. The rest of us simply waited.

    Had it been the branch of a normal pine tree we would have immediately set upon it for fire wood after a quick prayer. But this branch wasn¡¯t from a normal tree nor had it fallen from common circumstances.

    If the goddess came we were likely as dead as those She wished to punish.

    Dread dripped from the stone of fear behind my heart to pool between my ribs. If She came there would be no hiding from Her. If She decided what I had done on the cliff was healing, then I was doubly dead as everyone else, storming blessing or no. I didn¡¯t doubt that what She could give, She could also take away.

    We waited.

    And waited.

    The goddess did not appear. Her High Priestess did.

    Lithunia, the Lady of Frost, stepped out from the shadow on the tree¡¯s trunk and onto what little remained of the broken branch. I recognized her unnaturally pale coloring immediately. The displayed mark on her side was a dead giveaway as well.

    I froze.

    The High Priestess was an infinitely better arrival than the goddess, but her presence still didn¡¯t bode well. She might have been kind to me on the Calling Road but there was nothing soft about her now. She surveyed everyone laid out before her in the camp, full of reproach.

    ¡°Our goddess is not pleased.¡± Despite the distance between us, it sounded like she was speaking directly into my ear. ¡°Not all of you may be Beastwatchers, but She still expects Her land to be protected. One tree burned and another broken.¡±

    I flinched and was not alone.

    Lithunia continued after giving ample time for the reprimand to sink in. ¡°If another is ruined in this region in the coming month She will take matters into Her own hands.¡±

    I didn¡¯t even want to contemplate what that would mean.

    ¡°However,¡± Lithunia held up a hand. ¡°She has allowed me to come and perform preventive measures. You have fifteen minutes to return to the Seedling Palace if you wish to remain unfrozen, including those of you strung along the coast.¡±

    There was a beat of silence and then everyone bowed deeply before a flurry of activity erupted around me. The commander stepped out of the shadow behind the High Priestess and bowed again before Lithunia acknowledged her.

    I tore my gaze away from that interesting exchange to find whisper women disappearing into the shadows in droves, often with multiple fire starters in tow. Some stepped out of the shadow only to immediately step back in¡ªmost likely those from the outposts who couldn¡¯t make it to the Seedling Palace in a single trip. I didn¡¯t know how those who were currently fighting would make it back to the Palace in time or how she thought she could affect the entire coast.

    No one paid me any mind.

    Most everyone who had been on the tree when she made her announcement was already gone. Only those who had been caught in sunlight or who had to make their way out of the water still remained.

    I tried to stand and make my way closer to the trunk and the last handful of whisper women in shouting distance, but my hurt leg wasn¡¯t having any of it. I nearly slipped and fell as soon as I tried to put weight on it.

    That left the much slower method of scooching my way over to the trunk, but the indignity of it grated at me, even without mentioning that all the whisper women were likely to be gone by then. I shouted at the whisper woman closest to me, about four branches down, but she had disappeared into the shadow before I even finished my sentence.

    I looked wildly around.

    All I found was an empty camp and the High Priestess perched on the broken branch, alone again. More whisper women appeared as the time limit continued to count down but they all disappeared back into shadow before I could get their attention.

    This couldn¡¯t be happening.

    It wasn¡¯t like I was invisible or silenced.

    My attention kept flicking back to the High Priestess, but I resisted calling out to her. If those that appeared on the same tree as me couldn¡¯t even notice me then I doubted trying to yell at her would do much better. And besides, even if I did get her attention, I sincerely doubted she would pop back over to the Seedling Palace just for me.

    It was my fault I was here. That meant I needed to get myself out of it.

    Except I couldn¡¯t traverse the shadow paths and I was stuck in a gigantic tree with a bad leg and potent exhaustion, even after resting for however long I¡¯d been sitting there.

    I couldn¡¯t even make myself a lick of flame to keep whatever cold she was going to inflict at bay. In the end, I elected to stay where I was and hope for the best. At the very least, Tasha might remember where she left me then.

    I scowled. I really hated needing to rely on others. I¡¯d get her back for abandoning me here in the future.

    If I wasn¡¯t frozen solid for forever.

    I didn¡¯t think Lithunia had that kind of power, but things hadn¡¯t exactly been taking a turn for the better lately.

    The High Priestess clapped lightly when the time limit was up. I thought she said something too, but given that she was no longer using her trick to speak directly into my ear I couldn¡¯t hear what she said. Then she pulled out a large chunk of ice from a pouch and held it over her head. Long moments passed as she likely spoke a prayer or ritual.

    A large eye snapped open in the middle of her mark.

    It was like when Grandmother had performed the mourning ritual and her wrist marks temporarily changed.

    I stared in shock as the ice began to glow blue and frost wafted around it, visible even from where I sat. The glowing ice brightened further until it was like a miniature star in the High Priestess¡¯s hands.

    Then the ice cracked and split into multiple jagged, floating pieces. They shot off in all directions along the coast. The root wall quickly blocked my view of their impossible flight.

    I gaped at the High Priestess. Was this the kind of things I would be capable of when I finally worked my way into the goddess¡¯s chosen? I didn¡¯t think it could be solely due to her blessing, not with the similarities to Grandmother¡¯s ritual, however minor that was in comparison to the scale of what the High Priestess was attempting.

    It wasn¡¯t long after that I felt the air shift from the normal cold you could expect during a cold season day to something more akin to what came before an approaching snow storm. The temperature dropped unnaturally fast from cold to chilly to icy to frigid.

    Then the blast of frozen air hit me. One moment I was uncomfortable but relatively fine and then next I was frozen to the branch I sat on. Cold that chilled down into the bone and sapped all thought pierced me.

    My mark burned like seven raging firestorms had formed on my thigh.

 Book 2 - Ch. 52: Ice Cold

    I couldn¡¯t even shiver the ice held me so completely. Couldn¡¯t blink, couldn¡¯t breathe. Couldn¡¯t think. Time lost meaning. Everything became hazy as my focus narrowed to the aching contrast between the soul stealing cold and the stabbing heat blazing from my bless mark.

    It was agony. My whole body kept trying to shiver or steal actual warmth from my mark, anything to warm up, but nothing worked. I couldn¡¯t move even to shiver and my mark¡¯s fierce prickling and heat were only a reminder that it was active. My mark wasn¡¯t going to even give a hint of real warmth to the skin around it any time soon.

    So I was stuck, unable to get warmer thanks to the magical frost or fade into the oblivion of sleep¡ªor more¡ªthanks to my frozen eyes and my mark keeping me going. Sleeping with my eyes open wasn¡¯t a trick that came to me, not even then.

    My only distraction was what I could stare at in front of me. I couldn¡¯t say I was actively watching, but there were times when I could focus a bit more on the scene in front of me rather than the internal war over temperature.

    One of those times was watching the High Priestess get saved. It happened very shortly after everything had froze, before I completely lost all sense of time other than knowing it was bright or dark out.

    She had been caught in the wave of supernatural cold the same as me. White frost and clear ice coated her skin and clothes, though she was so unnaturally pale to begin with that it was difficult to make out the effect from this distance except for where it transitioned onto her dark clothes. The stiffness of her raised arms, robes, and hair despite gusts of wind also gave away that we were in similar circumstances.

    The High Priestess, however, didn¡¯t have a mark that kept her alive despite the freezing cold and inability to breathe. She might be called the Lady of Frost and have the goddess¡¯s boon that mitigated the elements¡¯ effects, but I didn¡¯t think that meant much when it came to being frozen solid.

    Apprehension and worry pressed up against each other in my belly. Surely, she wouldn¡¯t have sacrificed herself simply for ¡°preventive measures¡±? She was the High Priestess! Dying to make sure no one in the region hurt another pine tree for a month was ludicrous. She hadn¡¯t been a part of this fight and even with the goddess¡¯s wrath on the line, Lithunia surely would be more help alive than dead.

    A dark hand reached from the shadow behind the High Priestess and my fears quickly became premature and short lived. Corrin, the whisper woman who had saved me after Jin¡¯s life-threatening training, followed her reaching hand out of the shadow before quickly taking in the scene around her. She didn¡¯t notice me, but she saw Lithunia straight away.

    Corrin moved closer to the High Priestess and, without preamble, reached around her to place her palm on the other woman¡¯s forehead. In my head I pictured Corrin saying ¡°Be as you were,¡± like she had when she took away my bleeding wounds and bruises.

    A few moments later and what color the High Priestess had had returned to her skin and hair, no longer frozen over. She lowered her arms and shook them out before laying a gentle hand on Corrin¡¯s arm. Corrin smiled, a bit deferential, as she gave a small bow. They spoke a little longer before disappearing back into the tree¡¯s shadow.

    An escape plan.

    If I could have ranted and raved and glared my heart out I would have in that moment. Corrin¡¯s blessing could only be used once a day and within an hour of sustaining whatever she wished to cure. Even if they had noticed me, once she had saved the High Priestess there was no hope she could save me. The wait time before when she could use her blessing again was too long.

    Instead I got to freeze and watch the ice thicken.

    All alone in the destroyed and empty camp.

    Later I would learn that it took over two days for Prevna to search through all the wounded filling up the healer¡¯s nests as well as Seed Landing only to find that I was nowhere to be found. I don¡¯t know why she bothered, but I also couldn¡¯t say I wasn¡¯t glad that she did. After that it took her another two days to find Mishtaw and tell her that I was nowhere to be found which only prompted our squad leader to take up her own search. When she ended up with the same lackluster findings as Prevna and Prevna convinced her that, no, I really couldn¡¯t be lying dead somewhere, Mishtaw took the case to Tasha, who she knew had brought me back to the main camp.

    That was when the truth came out. In the rush to return to the Seedling Palace after the High Priestess¡¯s announcement, everyone had assumed that someone else had brought me back or had forgotten that I was a seedling who hadn¡¯t yet earned the boon to travel through shadows.

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    Apparently, rumors about a seedling killing a sea snake had become prevalent, so much so that it seemed like their subject had also returned to the Seedling Palace. Some were edged with another rumor that the tree branch had broken because someone had done healing without healing beads, but no one was ready to believe a person would be stupid enough to actually attempt that.

    Nor did it help that the changing of the seasons was fast approaching and those that could were busy helping prepare for the Welcome of the Winds. I hadn¡¯t given much, or any, thought to the coming celebration since the last month of the cold season had been more devoted to earning my place at the Seedling Palace back and killing fish before they could grievously injure me.

    As it was, it took more days of convincing before a tiny search party was allowed to be sent out after a single, missing seedling. It consisted of Mishtaw, Prevna, and Tasha, who must have felt a bit guilty for abandoning me in the first place.

    When they came I was heavily lost in the cold. They had stepped out of the shadow on a branch lower than where Tasha left me, but despite the sudden sound of voices and footfalls, I couldn¡¯t bring myself to focus on the intrusion. It wasn¡¯t like I could shout or move to get their attention¡ªif they were even here for me.

    The sounds of their progress got slowly closer; searching and climbing an ice ridden tree was no easy task. I stared at my patch of branches in front of me, the jagged end of the broken branch of the tree across the nearly drained camp, and the frost coated root wall beyond. Sometimes I almost thought I had drawn in a freezing breath, with the way the cold knifed its way back to my spine, or that I somehow managed to sleep, but I think those lost moments were more due to the teeth aching cold that stole my attention more often that not.

    The goddess¡¯s gaze was like the brush of pine needles against my skin, but She didn¡¯t turn Her head and let Her gaze fully consume me. Sometimes I wondered if it annoyed Her for me to be constantly on the edge of her awareness while I was near death or if it wasn¡¯t truly Her gaze that I felt. Sometimes, when the cold became so unbearable that I thought I would snap under its hold, despite my mark, I pictured balling it up along with the frost and ice and throwing the freezing combination at the eye peering just past my shoulder.

    Perhaps not my brightest moment, but I could have sworn that the cold wasn¡¯t as freezing for a moment or two.

    It didn¡¯t take Prevna and the two whisper women long to find me on the branch once finally climbed up to the correct level. Now that they knew to look for me, I was no longer nearly as difficult to notice as before.

    Prevna spotted me first. She let out a shout of alarm before rushing over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. She snatched it back with a hiss, the cold too much for her even with her gloves. I could barely see her on the edge of my vision and only knew Mishtaw and Tasha came after her from the sound of their steps.

    ¡°Are you sure she¡¯s alive? She looks frozen solid,¡± Tasha asked. I could hear the frown in her tone.

    ¡°She is,¡± Prevna insisted. ¡°She can¡¯t die even if she wanted to. That¡¯s her blessing. I¡¯ve seen it.¡±

    There was some shuffling and then Mishtaw leaned into my view, inspecting my face and then where the ice connected me to the branch. ¡°She¡¯s not breathing. It¡¯s been nearly a week¡­¡±

    ¡°Gimley¡¯s alive.¡± Prevna held firm. ¡°If you need more proof you can ask her tribe or Jin. I bet she¡¯s seen proof based on her training.¡± Her voice softened, ¡°We can¡¯t leave her like this.¡±

    Mishtaw sighed heavily. ¡°I don¡¯t see how we can unfreeze her either. This isn¡¯t normal ice and if we try to move her there¡¯s a good chance we¡¯ll take off skin or bark. We can¡¯t risk damaging the tree after what caused this mess.¡±

    ¡°Another whisper woman¡ª¡±

    Tasha cut her off, ¡°Another might have a blessing that can help, but none come immediately to mind and there¡¯s no guarantee she would be able to come help. Not with the season¡¯s changing and the difficulties this region has caused.¡±

    ¡°Then what are we supposed to do?¡± Prevna pressed, sounding more serious and mulish than I was used to hearing from her.

    They quieted as they thought and Mishtaw continued to inspect me. A few names of whisper women were offered and discarded because they weren¡¯t available or Mishtaw and Tasha didn¡¯t think they¡¯d be able to convince them to come. The idea of building a fire close by and maintaining was also brought up and rejected for fear of setting the whole tree on fire and no good place to balance it in the branches. The Seedling Palace¡¯s magic didn¡¯t apply here.

    Then Mishtaw hit upon what seemed like my only option other than waiting and seeing if I thawed out naturally. It still involved waiting and not doing much, but the test date was much closer than the other unreliable possibility.

    ¡°The warming winds might thaw her out. Goddess influenced winds and goddess influenced ice.¡±

    Mishtaw paused and then added, ¡°I doubt She will want to undo Her High Priestess¡¯s work so this coast might be avoided this year.¡±

    Prevna brightened. ¡°We could bring chimes and streamers like the tribes do to celebrate the winds and draw Her good favor. Even if the winds don¡¯t reach the coast perhaps She¡¯ll bring them here so a mark of¡­¡± she trailed off, probably taking in the devastation around us again before rallying, ¡°¡­power doesn¡¯t get left to ruin? We¡¯ll need this base again once the coast melts.¡±

    Mishtaw agreed, ¡°That argument might work.¡± She stood. ¡°Let¡¯s return to the Palace. I¡¯ll speak to a few people and see what can be done.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s nothing more we can do for her now.¡±

    Prevna stiffened by my side before quickly touching my shoulder again despite the cold. ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡±

    Tasha waited until the pair both moved away closer to the trunk before she quietly spoke, ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I didn¡¯t bring you immediately back to the Seedling Palace. If you do break free of the ice know that I owe you a debt.¡±

    I felt her gaze on me a moment longer before she turned and followed after Mishtaw and Prevna. I could still barely think for the cold but I knew those were words that I would not forget in the haze. I could only hope their theory was correct and that the warming winds would not be delayed on the goddess¡¯s whim this year.

 Book 2 - Ch. 53: Pieces

    I couldn¡¯t decide if tents and small spaces were worse or better than being encased in ice. At least when I had been trapped in the tent I could move, and I had been learning something of interest. But, here, there wasn¡¯t a relentless presence of judgment and disappointment. No sense of constant comparison and failure.

    The frozen needles of the pine tree chimed together as a breeze brushed past. My thoughts ebbed and swirled around each other for an indeterminate amount of time as I tried to consider each situation.

    Two different types of cold, I decided, in the end.

    In the healer¡¯s tent the air might have been as warm as it ever got, but there had been no warmth lost between me and her or with the rest of the tribe. A void of connection that made the small space feel smaller and a numb resolution for me to be be all I ever needed. And the warmth I saw between the others only made that lack even starker.

    An emotional type of cold that froze over the hurt.

    Being physically frozen was a whole other matter. It ached down to the bone and tore at all my senses without the slightest touch of numbing reprieve. I couldn¡¯t push it down and ignore it, but there also wasn¡¯t the constant comparison, the fear of what else could be taken away. This was as frigid as I could get. That was the long and short of it, even if I didn¡¯t know how long I would have to endure the aching for.

    A sudden pressure thumped against my back. If I could have startled away I would have. The fact that doing so probably would have sent me plummeting down off the tree was the only slim good reason in favor of being frozen to the branch.

    Prevna¡¯s voice cut through the cold induced fog from where she sat, leaned up against me. ¡°I bet you would have punched me if I tried this before.¡±

    How was she here again? How was she not freezing? Why was she here?

    She shifted and a whole lot of things bumped and rattled against each other. How had I not heard her coming?

    Prevna held a streamer made of fallen brown pine needles and small blue flowers in front of my face. The needles were sewn into place with a dyed green thread. From what I could see of her hand and arm, Prevna was bundled in much more clothing than she had been when she and the others had first found me. Thick enough that she apparently didn¡¯t feel the artificial chill.

    ¡°Everyone expects the winds to come today. Mishtaw and Petra made this for you. I think Eliss picked the flowers. Creed tried to help, but his thick fingers kept getting in the way.¡±

    The pine needle streamer disappeared back over my shoulder only to be replaced by a bone chime set. Two dozen different bones dangled from a round, woven top. Each bone was shaped into a creature or plant, some more crudely than others.

    ¡°Dera and Wren made the chimes and roped Loclen into making the top. Wren wanted to make sure I told you that they think they figured out what Shawsh meant when he said we have everything we need for the blessing of shadows, and that they should find the remaining pieces soon.¡±

    The bone chime set disappeared and I internally winced as I realized how little thought I had given to Wren¡ªor the others¡ªsince coming to the battle camp. Prevna¡¯s weight settled against my back again. There was a brief pause, and then more rattling, before I felt her start to work on something.

    ¡°I still need to finish making my streamer. I¡¯ll have it done before the winds come, don¡¯t worry.¡± Her voice turned wry. ¡°I think you¡¯ll like it.¡± There was a long, long pause and then she added, ¡°It really is odd not being put off by a sigh or ¡®go away¡¯ after every sentence. Then again, you can rest assured that you got the stony silence down to perfection.¡±

    She continued to work on doing whatever it was she needed to do to finish her streamer. As she worked, she rambled. Not constantly, but it seemed like every time she needed to rest her fingers or a new thought bubbled up about something Prevna thought I should know, she would talk.

    Not that I could truly complain. Her rambling gave me something else to focus on other than the same scene in front of me and the cold. Though it was a different type of pain to stay present enough to listen, rather than sink into the foggy state that had been my near constant companion since becoming frozen.

    That was how I learned that Prevna had been brought along by a small patrol of whisper women and their fire starters. They, and other patrols, were checking along the coast to make sure the everything remained frozen and that the Lady Blue didn¡¯t have anything else unexpected planned for us. So far the rumors said that the coast was quiet after each side¡¯s destructive last attack.

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    Prevna also told me that Tasha tried to secure a hearth stone for me to repay her debt from leaving me to freeze over, in the hope that it could melt the ice, but, unfortunately, even a pebble sized hearth stone was out of her reach. After hearing of her failure, Mishtaw along with Kaylan, the lazy lookout, and Hattie had also thrown their lot in with her to try to secure a stone for me. Prevna said they spoke both to the commander as well as their own sect leaders, but so far they hadn¡¯t managed to get a hearth stone. Between the unprecedented nature of having the camp fall as well as the Lady Blue¡¯s other unexpected actions, the large number of injured whisper women, the preparations for the coming of the winds, and the unique nature of my predicament, it was to be expected.

    Though Prevna¡¯s presence was due to their effort.

    It was decided that it couldn¡¯t hurt to see if the warming winds worked on me. And if a seedling was willing to gather chimes and streamers, and brave the chill to set them up, then it wasn¡¯t difficult to send her along with a patrol. Little risk, no loss to manpower, and the potential for reward.

    The hearth stone was something else entirely. No one was sure how aware I was and, given what they knew of my blessing, there wasn¡¯t a fear that I would die while they figured out what do. There were bigger problems to focus on and the thought of giving a hearth stone to a seedling, even a tiny one temporarily, was nearly unthinkable. Better to wait and see, especially when the seedling in question had developed a bit of a reputation for being troublesome. Plus, there was a hint of fear that using a hearth stone might be seen as going against the goddess¡¯s wishes given that She had helped bless the High Priestess¡¯s ice.

    Honestly, it was a bit of a surprise to learn that so many whisper women were trying to get me a hearth stone despite the nature of the situation. I hadn¡¯t spent long with Kaylan or Hattie, so I wasn¡¯t sure what had pushed them to join the cause. Even Mishtaw¡¯s effort was odd to hear. I might have been a part of her squad, but I had gotten the impression that she suffered my presence more than welcomed it.

    A part of me also realized through Prevna¡¯s account that there wasn¡¯t any mention of my mysterious benefactor, the Lady of Calm Waters. I didn¡¯t doubt that if she wanted to the mysterious lady could get me a hearth stone. Which meant she hadn¡¯t heard yet or was withholding her aid for reasons of her own.

    Prevna held her streamer in front of my face when she finished it to her satisfaction. It was a four foot long five strand braid made of different leather cords. The leather cords were of varying tones of brown from a light tan to a dark dirt brown. At various points on the leather cords she had carved Black Root with its tufts of spiky looking leaves on top and tubers underneath.

    My fingers itched to touch the felt leaf in my pouch.

    After she thought I had enough time to admire her handiwork, Prevna wrapped the streamer around my neck, so ¡°you can have the best view of it when the winds blow¡±. She set about tying up the rest of the streamers and chimes after that. I hoped that she wouldn¡¯t slip and break her neck as she pranced around, debating whether to put up this chime here or that streamer over there. I didn¡¯t think the placement really mattered but it seemed like she spent a good amount of time on it. It got darker out at least, though not the deep dark of night fall.

    When she finished, chimes and streamers gently clinked and flapped all around me as a light breeze brushed by. Prevna settled next to me to enjoy a small meal that she had tucked somewhere, proud of her work.

    After she finished eating Prevna leaned back on her hands. ¡°Have you ever met someone and thought ¡®ah, this is someone I¡¯ll be friends with¡¯?¡± She waited several long moments before she continued, though we both knew I couldn¡¯t reply. ¡°I have. Three times.¡±

    Another breeze brushed by, stronger this time.

    ¡°The first was another girl in the band. Igi. She joined with her father when she was eight. I was six, but she didn¡¯t treat me like I was younger. I first saw Igi when she was trying to filch a bowl of pluckings from Dogar¡ªwho was always extra protective over his cooking¡ªand I had that thought.¡± She lapsed into silence for another long moment before Prevna seemed to draw up strength to say the next part. ¡°We were like sisters until she got caught on the wrong side of a raid two years ago.¡±

    Even if I could have spoken, I would have known better than to do so in that moment. I knew she had more to say and trying to stop her wouldn¡¯t have done any good. Not to mention, that there was a part of me that was curious about what she had to say and why she was saying it now.

    ¡°The second was a boy named Ver.¡± I heard the crack of a smile in her voice. ¡°He¡¯s still alive and kicking. We trained together. I had the thought when I learned he stayed up the entire night in the hopes of spying on ice folk. He had set out a tiny cup of warm water and everything.¡±

    I felt her turn and focus on me. ¡°The third one was you.¡± Prevna said it with a tone of finality and I noted the lack of time and place she had offered with the other two. ¡°I know you¡¯re not Igi or Ver, but I¡¯ve learned to trust the feeling. The person it leads me to is always interesting. And that¡¯s why, no matter how you huff and puff, you won¡¯t be getting rid of me. I¡¯ll be your friend even if you won¡¯t be mine.¡±

    My heart did an odd twist as it tried to sink and lift at the same time. This was dangerous territory. Everyone was safer when I kept myself to myself, but this¡­

    She was already closer than she should be.

    But what if I ruined everything again? What if I got things crossed like I had with Fellen?

    I couldn¡¯t. Shouldn¡¯t accept the offer she had blatantly laid out in front of me. If I did, it would be dangerous for both of us given my history. I didn¡¯t need the lack of control such things brought.

    But¡­but wasn¡¯t that also just falling back under her influence? She had been the best at rejection.

    Rawley would have wanted me to accept the offer of friendship. Wanted me to trust despite the dangers that went implicitly with it.

    I didn¡¯t want to hurt anyone, but it seemed like whatever I picked that was part of the answer.

    A distant howling rose behind us and Prevna twisted with a whoop. The warming winds were coming whether I had an answer or not.

 Book 2 - Ch. 54: Warming Winds

    The warming winds weren¡¯t meant to be sat out in and enjoyed like a particularly nice warm season day. They were wild things, with no thought but to steal the snow and ice between one breath and the next. Idiotic and reckless tribe members would stand out in an open field and compete to see who could stay on their feet the longest before getting blown away. Usually a handful of injuries and a broken bone or two came of it, but every few years or so there was a death from a bad fall or unexpected collision.

    Our saving grace was the goddess¡¯s protective nature when it came to Her pine trees. Howling winds buffeted the camp all around us but as soon they got near the tips of pine needles they settled down into a strong gust, at most. Which meant Prevna had no business slinging an arm around my shoulders. She was in no danger of being blown away. Still, I couldn¡¯t completely hold the unsolicited contact against her. Not with the eerie babble of shrieking laughter, near intelligible whispers, and humming coming from all around us.

    Another name for the warming winds was the Living Winds. No one knew where they came from or where they went once the seasons had been changed over, though some myths speculated at their origin. One myth said they were the voices of the souls whose bodies had become shamblers while another thought they were from the time when the sisters goddesses ruled the world together. Most commonly, however, people regarded them as wind spirits. Associated with the goddess, but not so closely that you had to fear being struck down simply for challenging them.

    The bone chimes clattered and clinked against each other as the warming winds rushed passed; the streamers snapping taut as the spirits pulled on their ends before coming unraveled like they were designed to do. Brown pine needles and blue flowers floated through the air while a gust of wind cackled as it flew past. Squad Mishtaw¡¯s banner was no more.

    As we watched the ice and snow covering everything disappeared. As if they were erasing the cold season as simply as one would wipe the dust off a forgotten, but usable, tool. The unusual nature of the ice didn¡¯t seem to give the winds any more pause than the snow I was used to seeing them devour in Grislander¡¯s Maw.

    A couple of wind spirits became interested in Prevna¡¯s streamer that she had wrapped around my neck and moved to play with it. I knew the instant they noticed my frozen state. Their unintelligible chatter became very animated while a sense of¡­hunger rolled over me.

    Wind rushed over my left arm while the other gust pounced on my right leg. Burning. I was burning and being pulled apart from the inside out. I couldn¡¯t get away. Prickling, worse than anything my mark had ever done, stabbed through every inch of skin the storming wind currents touched.

    I was dying. For all I knew that I couldn¡¯t do that, that¡¯s what it felt like. After all, the blaze of my mark was subsiding and it had no reason to do that unless they were sucking its power out of me. I was still fro¡ª

    Warmth spread through my arm and leg as the spirits moved on to other parts of my body. My fingers spread and my arm buckled as they were finally released from the position they had been frozen in for days.

    Prevna kept me from sliding off the tree as the winds took the remaining ice from me. When they finished, one nuzzled at the crook of my elbow like it was hoping to find one more morsel of ice there. Finding nothing, the pair took off, chattering loudly with Prevna¡¯s streamer twirling between them.

    It took me a few minutes longer to fully come back to myself. My first instinct when I did was to jerk out of Prevna¡¯s grasp, but I quelled it. Sudden movement wouldn¡¯t help anyone on the edge of a branch and¡­she had helped me. Without coercion. Accepting her offer was still dangerous, but perhaps I didn¡¯t need to shove her away out of hand.

    I took in a deep breath and let it out, relishing in the simple ability to breathe. My mark was quiet. I hadn¡¯t really allowed myself to believe that the winds would free me, but the truth of my situation wasn¡¯t something I could deny now.

    ¡°You can let me go. I won¡¯t fall off the edge now.¡±

    Prevna let me go with a gasp and I pushed myself upright from where I had been slumped over in her arms. She stared at me. ¡°It worked.¡±

    I rubbed my hands together before showing them to her. ¡°It worked.¡± I couldn¡¯t meet her gaze for the next part. It felt too personal. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    ¡°If I could survive being frozen solid, I doubt I would enjoy the experience. I didn¡¯t think you would, either.¡± When I still didn¡¯t look at her she bumped her shoulder against mine. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll repay the favor in the future.¡±

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    Of course I would. Given how reckless and stubborn Prevna could be I¡¯d probably have ample chances to return the favor in the future. And I couldn¡¯t let her die. Not when she might have saved me with her multitude of chimes and streamers.

    The air was warm and heavy as we went around and gathered up the chimes and streamers that hadn¡¯t been pulled away with the wind. Warm enough that Prevna and I both stripped down to our basic tunics and pants without even feeling a hint of the previous chill. Prevna didn¡¯t ask if I had heard what she had said while I was frozen and I didn¡¯t tell.

    I did learn that the whisper women that had brought her were supposed to return at sunset which was still a couple hours away. If the warming winds hadn¡¯t saved me then she would have returned with them alone and I would have had to wait on the unlikely chance of being given a hearth stone, frozen and all alone. I tried not to think about that possibility.

    I also learned that Breck and Ento had made it through the wave assault. They were back in the Seedling Palace finishing their healing. Apparently, there had been whisper women in the camp who had been able to deflect and slow down the wave when it came, so that most of those in the healers¡¯ tent and the commander¡¯s tent had been able to escape or get to higher ground before the wave fully hit, and when it did its strength was diminished.

    I filled Prevna in on how we got the winds back and the sea snake fight. She looked at me like I was insane when I told her I leapt into the snake¡¯s mouth. Now that the rush from the fight was gone and I had time to think it was more than a little annoying that I couldn¡¯t disagree with her.

    It had been logical at the time.

    Once all of her items were gathered I wanted to climb to the top of the tree and check if we could see if the coast was still frozen. Prevna was more of the mind that we sit and rest. She kept glancing over at where I had been frozen.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°I can climb a tree.¡± When she didn¡¯t look entirely convinced I added, ¡°I¡¯m not going to randomly refreeze.¡±

    She huffed. ¡°You were frozen for over a week. Your muscles could lock up or something.¡±

    ¡°I feel fine.¡±

    She crossed her arms. ¡°You don¡¯t need to fall out of the tree right after I saved you to prove a point.¡±

    I started to argue before cutting myself off. I wasn¡¯t going to fall out of the tree or anything else painful and stupid, but there wasn¡¯t any point in yelling at her about it. That wasn¡¯t the real issue here.

    I gestured to the branch we were on. ¡°I need to move, Prevna. Remind myself what it¡¯s like. And I don¡¯t particularly want to stay on the branch I¡¯ve been stuck to either.¡±

    Her face softened for the briefest of moments before hardening again. ¡°Fine, but you don¡¯t get to complain if I stay close to you.¡±

    She stayed just far enough away that she wasn¡¯t constantly crowding my personal space. I had to bite back a few annoyed remarks and glare at the tree bark rather than her, but otherwise we made it to the top of the gigantic pine without incident.

    The root wall still blocked most of our view, but we could make out the glitter of the ocean as well as the glare of sunlit ice on the shore. From what we could tell, the goddess had directed the warming winds to free the camp and Her forest behind us from the cold season¡¯s clutches, but everything else along the coast had been left frozen over. I tried to spot frozen fish among the ice, but the distance made it difficult to discern anything.

    We made our way back down in time to meet up with the whisper women squad who stepped from the shadows just as the sun began to dip below the horizon. They were more than a little startled to find me up and moving around. I kept catching glances as Prevna and I bundled up our things, and the buzz of gossip that noted everything from my trial mark to recent ordeal was hard to miss as well. The whisper woman who took my hand to pull me into the shadows was surprisingly respectful.

    I didn¡¯t look back when we left the main camp. I had had more than enough of the place, and if the Lady Blue wasn¡¯t content to leave things as they were for awhile then that was the commander¡¯s problem, not mine.

    I wasn¡¯t entirely sure where to expect to be taken on my return to the Seedling Palace, but the healers¡¯ nests was a place I should have guessed, but had instead entirely ignored. I hadn¡¯t wanted to end up here, not after everything, though I had neglected to tell Prevna that my leg had started to hurt again on our way up the pine tree.

    The sounds of bone chimes, healer¡¯s beads, and a storyteller in the middle of telling about an epic battle filled the air. Streamers waved lazily from thin branches and the tops of the domed sap dwellings, some intact and some pulled to nearly nothing by the wind spirits. There were the sounds of wounded too along with the thump and grind of medicines being prepared. I could smell the fresh scent of herbs coming from the clusters of amber domes that filled the offshoot branches that connected to the wide one we had stepped onto. Black handed healers were everywhere. Transporting patients or medicine or ingredients, conversing with each other, enjoying a break on the new warm season day¡ªthough the temperature at the Seedling Palace was the same as it had been during the cold season as far as I could tell.

    I glowered at them all while the two whisper women who had brought us to the Palace led Prevna and me to a dome near the end of the branch. Then they left us in the care of a healer I didn¡¯t recognize. Both of us were throughly checked over, even though Prevna wasn¡¯t hurt, before my bruised leg and other minor injuries were treated. The healer was competent, I¡¯ll give him that, though I sorely resented the fact that he was able to perform the craft when I had nearly been condemned for saving Melka. Once we were taken care of the healer let us know that we were supposed to wait, which didn¡¯t sound promising, before he left the dome. Given that I had no idea how to get back the Seed Landing from here, and Prevna wasn¡¯t willing to say if she knew or not, we waited like he wanted us to.

 Book 2 - Ch. 55: Gathering

    I wasn¡¯t able to stay in the dome for long after the healer left. Not after spending over a week trapped and immobile, though outside the healer¡¯s nest was little better with all the healers and their clinking beads. I circled around to the backside of the dome and breathed a little easier once I was out of their line of sight and they were out of mine. Part of me wanted to pace, but I knew better than to aggravate my leg further after what I had already put it through by climbing the pine tree.

    Prevna followed me and leaned against the dome with her full bag of streamers and chimes. I shifted this way and that, filled with the need to do something, but not immediately finding anything that would quell the restlessness.

    ¡°Your coat was torn,¡± Prevna pointed out.

    The coat had been too bulky to squeeze into my pack, so I had tied it in place to the bottom of the pack with my bedroll. I pulled it free along with some thread and a needle from my pack. I wasn¡¯t used to doing needlework with the thick, layered fabric the coat was made out of, so the result turned out lumpy and stood out starkly from the uniformity of the rest of the protective gear.

    In the meantime, Prevna moved forward and leaned on the rail to people watch. The festivities for warming winds were quieter than those during the cold season, given that no one wanted to offend the goddess by celebrating the end of the season more closely aligned with her too much, but there was still strong drink to be found, stories to hear, contests to win, and group crafting to participate in if you were inclined toward any of those. Prevna was fascinated by seeing the whisper women and fire starters wandering by acting as boisterous and care free as any normal tribesperson celebrating the change of seasons.

    Once I finished fixing my coat and was about to start checking over my sling there was a commotion at the front of the dome. Apparently, someone was caught off guard by not immediately finding us where we were supposed to be. I tucked my things away and stood with my pack slung back over my shoulders while Prevna reluctantly stepped back from the railing and lead the way back around the dome.

    We found a young female fire starter standing in the middle of the healer¡¯s nest looking both annoyed and apprehensive. When she spotted us her expression cleared.

    ¡°There you are! Good. Follow me.¡±

    She pushed past us and started down the main branch without so much as a word of explanation for where we were going or why. Prevna and I shared a look but we hurried to catch up with her.

    The fire starter took us through a maze of winding branches, one staircase molded inside the trunk of one of the giant pines, and over multiple ramping bridges, most of which were made from the amber sap and that seemed to provide easier access between different levels of branches for the fire starters who couldn¡¯t use the shadows to quickly jump level to level. One bridge was woven using the long purple and blue-black pine needles and I barely trusted it to hold my weight even after I saw the fire starter and Prevna start across it. It was a wide bridge that spanned an unusually large gap between the branches on the outside of the grove of trees and it held as we all crossed it. The fire starter adamantly warned us to not cross it in the future unless we had explicit permission to do so. At the far end of the bridge was another fire starter with a hooked staff, like the fire starters who guarded the paths leading out of the Seed Landing.

    Our fire starter tapped a tassel hanging from her belt that I had noted and dismissed before as an odd decorative choice and the other fire starter nodded in acknowledgment and let us past. Beyond the bridge was an area full of domes, like the healers¡¯ nests, but rather than being clustered together these domes each had a platform to themselves. Granted, some those platforms were barely larger than the domes they housed, but others had what amounted to large balconies or even twice as much space as the domes they held.

    Both Prevna and I realized that these had to be some of the whisper women¡¯s quarters. I doubted they all were housed in the same area. The area was largely empty without much movement from either inside or outside the domes despite the fact that it was growing late into the night. The celebrations seemed to be happening elsewhere.

    We were led to a large yellow dome with a platform that provided space for a handful of people to sit comfortably without touching. I knew this because two whisper women were sitting on cushions on the balcony with three unoccupied cushions arranged around them. I recognized both.

    I hadn¡¯t expected to see either one.

    The whisper woman who had first brought me to the Seedling Palace, who seemed to be a¡­helper for the Lady of Calm Waters and whose name I still didn¡¯t know took her arm from around Kaylan¡¯s shoulders so that she could spread her arms in front of her.

    ¡°Welcome to my humble home.¡± Her face brightened when she spotted Prevna and she patted the cushion closest to her. ¡°You brought a friend! Come watch the stars with us.¡±

    I hesitated, darted a glance at Prevna, and froze. What was this? I had expected an interrogation or cryptic conversation with the commander or Mishtaw or even Jin. Not¡­not whatever this was.

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    The fire starter bowed and left. Prevna seemed emboldened by the fact that I didn¡¯t immediately snap out a denial of our friendship and she settled onto the cushion next to the one the whisper woman had patted. If I sat down I¡¯d have to pick the one between them or step across Kaylan¡¯s outstretched legs to reach the one on the far side.

    Prevna introduced herself and the whisper woman got a glint in her eye when she said her own name, like she knew she was introducing herself to me too.

    ¡°Esie. My sister brought you over during the Dark Night Celebrations, didn¡¯t she?¡±

    Prevna nodded. ¡°You look a lot alike.¡±

    Esie chuckled. ¡°Most of the time.¡±

    Kaylan peered around Esie to beckon me over. ¡°We don¡¯t bite, Little Diver.¡±

    I reluctantly made my way over to the cushion next to Prevna and sat down. ¡°How do you know that nickname?¡±

    She shrugged and took a sip from the cup next to her. ¡°Hattie likes calling you that.¡±

    I blinked, shocked first at her seeming familiarity with the other whisper woman and then the implication that they had talked about me. ¡°You all know each other?¡±

    Esie settled her arm back over Kaylan¡¯s shoulders. ¡°It¡¯s difficult not to. You¡¯ll probably know everyone by name or face by the time you¡¯re done training or soon after too. The fire starters are another matter, but with less than a thousand of us we¡¯re like a particularly big tribe.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t so sure I¡¯d bother to remember so many names or faces, but it was unsettling to imagine myself connected to so many people. I was used to thinking of myself and those I interacted with as isolated parties, not as part of a bigger whole I didn¡¯t know and didn¡¯t have the information to figure out.

    Kaylan interwove her fingers with Esie¡¯s where her hand dangled over Kaylan¡¯s shoulder and I felt, annoyingly, off-put again by the open display of affection. This might be a relatively private space with few onlookers, but they barely knew us. Most would have kept things more discrete until we knew each other better and were on mutually friendly terms¡ªunless, of course, the rules I had grown up with had been altered here, like with the odd relationship between black handed healers and whisper women.

    Esie gestured to the pitcher and stacked cups near Kaylan¡¯s feet. ¡°Have some if you like. Though you¡¯ll want to water it down.¡±

    Prevna asked, ¡°What is it?¡±

    Esie grinned. ¡°Mil¡¯s nectar. One cup makes you more alert, two makes you warm and fuzzy, and three will put even the strongest willed woman to sleep.¡±

    Kaylan nudged Esie¡¯s side with her elbow. ¡°Only the best for her.¡±

    I remembered Ressia¡¯s warning at the arena that it was only for Sprouts and up at the same time I noticed the slightly glazed look to both of the whisper women¡¯s eyes. I silently berated myself for not noticing it earlier. They were both clearly on their second cup.

    I opened my mouth to turn down the offer but Prevna already had the nectar poured into two cups and was currently adding water to the first with her water pouch. She handed it to me before watering down the second cup.

    Now that the nectar was in my hand it was a lot more difficult to turn it down, especially when both whisper women were looking at me expectantly. A strong part of me wanted to be rude and not risk drinking the stuff, even watered down, but I also knew I shouldn¡¯t offend the whisper woman who was my only connection to my mysterious patron.

    So I took the tiniest sip of the golden liquid and a burst of tangy sweetness coated my tongue.

    Prevna took a sip after me and her eyes flew wide open. ¡°This is really good!¡±

    Kaylan snorted out a laugh and Esie chuckled before replying, ¡°Isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I nodded in agreement, so she wouldn¡¯t think I didn¡¯t appreciate her hospitality, before decisively setting the cup down. I turned to fully face Esie. ¡°Why did you call me here?¡±

    She got that amused look on her face like she knew a joke I didn¡¯t as she considered me. When Esie did answer her voice was more measured than it had been. ¡°Celebration. You¡¯re not frozen and you made it back to the Seedling Palace, all in a piece. That made my mistress happy which makes me happy.¡±

    ¡°Not to mention meddling,¡± Kaylan broke in. ¡°She heard that prissy wretch Yule was going to try to drive you from the Palace one way or another if she saw you back in the Seed Landing with her little screens.¡±

    Esie took a sip of her own drink before lifting it in a small salute. ¡°This isn¡¯t the day for such things.¡± She set her cup down. ¡°Just like it isn¡¯t the time for more serious discussions.¡±

    I got the unsubtle hint. There was at least one more thing she was supposed to speak to me about on her mistress¡¯s behalf, but I wasn¡¯t going to hear about it tonight. I didn¡¯t press her on the issue and the conversation turned to the other celebrations happening around the Seedling Palace before settling on the stars.

    Esie¡¯s platform really did provide a great view of them, even with the light from the pine cone lanterns. There was a large break in the pine needles overhead that showed a decent sized swath of the glittering forest of stars above. Kaylan asserted that Esie had picked her dome solely because of that viewing hole. Esie didn¡¯t confirm or deny it.

    Esie¡¯s sister came and joined us after awhile, supported by a strong fire starter as she swayed on her feet. Her name was Yeelan and Esie insisted that her sister was normally the dour of the two even though she asked Prevna to make her hair like Prevna¡¯s and then kept giggling as Prevna braided and bound it up. Kaylan told a few stories and I did my best to listen even when Hattie showed up in the middle of one with Melka and pulled me into a hug before I could stop her. Melka gave me an awkward nod as we both silently decided that not speaking about what happened on the cliff was the best course of action. Tasha also showed up along with four whisper women I didn¡¯t know at varying points. Her eyes got wide when she saw me and she gave me the slightest bow. I think she saw that I had no desire to speak with her and she left me alone.

    All in all, the platform ended up very crowded and it was a very odd, very surreal night. In a way it reminded me of the first night of the Heartsong Festival, but without dancing or singing and with a lot more people I didn¡¯t know. I moved around to a side of Esie¡¯s dome that was significantly less crowded, mostly because there wasn¡¯t a lot of space between her dome and the railing there so it wasn¡¯t a comfortable place for grown women to sit and converse. I had enough space though. Prevna found me, weaving a bit as she walked. She had finished her whole cup of watered down nectar unlike me. I could tell she wanted to hug me or put her arm around my shoulders or something, but she held herself back to a friendly pat on the arm. Then I let her talk for a bit and we somehow both ended up using my pack as a pillow.

 Book 2 - Ch. 56: A Bit of Advice

    I woke up early, before all of the now sleeping revelers who crowded Esie¡¯s platform, and found the woman in question already awake despite being at the center of the gathering the night before. She was perched up the railing, enjoying the warmth from a patch of sunlight that managed to slip through the pine needles.

    Esie turned to look as soon as I sat up right and smiled warmly at me. I couldn¡¯t help but be a little grouchy in return¡ªI still didn¡¯t know what she and her mistress wanted from me nor was it fair that she looked completely unaffected from the night¡¯s celebrations other than a bit of mussed hair. My back and neck felt stiff after sleeping on the hard platform all night with a lumpy pack for a headrest.

    Esie rose smoothly to her feet and walked along the top of the railing without sparing a glance for the long drop to her left. Once she passed Prevna she dropped lightly down to the platform, and tilted her head at me in question.

    I could tell that she wanted me to follow her somewhere and while I didn¡¯t particularly like not knowing what I was getting myself into, I also still knew that it would be a bad idea to offend her. I stepped over Prevna who kept unnaturally still while she ¡°slept¡±. I think she woke up as soon as I had gotten up, but she also knew better than to butt into whatever discussion was about to happen.

    We wound through the quiet living quarters without speaking. A few other whisper women who were already up and about gave us odd looks while the fire starters we passed tended to keep their eyes to themselves. After a short walk Esie led me through a curtain of pine needles and out onto a small platform with a few amber benches lining its edge. The railing was shorter here, closer to knee level for a woman of average height. It wasn¡¯t difficult to see why. This was a viewing platform.

    Someone, somehow, for some unknown reason, had carved the large ice vine that rose past the platform and the ice had kept the shape despite the other ice vines I had chipped for water not keeping the imperfection I made for more than a day. The ice sculpture wasn¡¯t one of the goddess¡¯s common symbols like I would have expected had I known to expect the art. Instead, two large, graceful hands were suspended in the air, barely touching by their pointer fingers. Like the very last moments of a handhold that had been broken.

    ¡°Beautiful, isn¡¯t it?¡± Esie sat down on the middle bench facing the artwork.

    Shawsh¡¯s miniature creations and the sculptures I had seen at Flickermark¡¯s entrance and in its depths. The statue of the Beloved in the Seed Landing. This ice sculpture didn¡¯t¡­strike me in quite the same way those had, but it was still beautiful in its own right.

    I didn¡¯t sit on one of the benches, but I did step up next to the one she had chosen and nodded. It kept us nearly eye level.

    When she didn¡¯t speak after another long minute I filled the silence instead. ¡°What did you wish to speak about?¡±

    Esie seemed amused at my impatience but she didn¡¯t sound patronizing when she spoke, ¡°My mistress wishes to offer you a word of warning and some advice.¡±

    ¡°Why doesn¡¯t she speak to me herself then?¡± The bitter sounding challenge slipped out before I had fully processed what I was about to say.

    Esie lifted her eyebrows at me. ¡°Oh? So I¡¯m not good enough for you?¡±

    I clamped my mouth shut and looked to the side. There was no good way to answer that question.

    Esie chuckled before her tone turned more serious. ¡°The Lady of Calm Waters owes no seedling an appearance, not even one she¡¯s given patronage to. Rather it would cause quite the stir if she did. Don¡¯t forget that you are the one who owes the favor, not her.¡±

    I dipped my head in understanding before rising my gaze and risking one more question. ¡°Who is she?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll put it together in time,¡± Esie dismissed the question and winked. ¡°I won¡¯t bite if you sit down next to me.¡±

    Feeling like she wouldn¡¯t reveal what she had to say until we were both sitting, I sank down onto the bench next to hers. Sitting directly next to her would have been too close for comfort. She liked being mysterious a little too much and, more importantly, she seemed like the type who frequently forgot the importance of allowing others their personal space, like Wren and, to an extent, Prevna who took comfort from physical contact.

    Esie noted my choice and moved on without comment, though I saw more amusement crinkle her eyes. ¡°Let¡¯s start with the warning: the condition that you are allowed back into the Palace without the benefit of a mentor does not just apply to Jin. No whisper woman is to take you as a personal student. It was argued that because of your insubordination and attack you should not directly benefit from the experience of those you show no respect for.¡±

    My teeth ground together. No mentors at all? I had been happy with the knowledge that I would no longer have to attend what passed as Jin¡¯s lessons, but how was I supposed to learn how to use the boons or other things all whisper women were expected to know without anyone to teach me? Even if I could figure it out on my own I didn¡¯t doubt that it would take me a idiotically long time to learn what I needed in comparison to the others.

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    ¡°I¡ª¡±

    Esie held up a hand to stop my protest. ¡°There are those of us who don¡¯t approve of the restriction. You can hardly be an asset to the goddess if you aren¡¯t allowed to fully develop the boons we rely on.¡± A sardonic smile crossed her lips. ¡°Most don¡¯t find them intuitive.¡± She leaned towards me. ¡°We are working to dismiss the decision and in return we expect to see respectful, model behavior from you towards all your superiors.¡±

    I swallowed and held my pricked pride carefully in check. ¡°Of course.¡±

    After another few moments of tense silence Esie shifted back into her easygoing posture and waved a hand. ¡°There are loopholes of course. You can learn from your cohort or others who haven¡¯t fully completed their training. Spy on their training with the mentors. There¡¯s also the arena which will help you learn through contest and observation. Nor can they take the rights of patronage away from my mistress.¡±

    I frowned, incredulous. ¡°You just told me to be a model of behavior.¡±

    She stood and stretched. ¡°There¡¯s being a model of good behavior and stupidity. Keep your wits about you, be respectful towards any whisper woman you interact with, and continue your training anyway you can and we¡¯ll be able to advocate for you.¡±

    ¡°But you can¡¯t be sure of your success?¡± I concluded.

    Her smile turned tight. ¡°Jin and Yule have their own backing, but it is nothing my mistress shouldn¡¯t be able to deal with.¡±

    I rose as well. ¡°Why do you care?¡±

    Esie turned from observing the ice sculpture to me. ¡°You¡¯ve already had a noteworthy start to your time as a seedling. You draw attention even if you don¡¯t want it and cause disruption even if you don¡¯t mean to¡­if nothing else you¡¯ve already proven yourself different from the usual fare of seedlings. We like to help such cases.¡±

    I could tell she wasn¡¯t telling the full truth, but, like as not, I doubted I would understand the full picture even if she laid her reasons out for me, or could do much about them if I did. That was the trouble with becoming indebted to someone when you had little to no resources of your own to draw on. They wanted to use me, and possibly my infamy, that much was clear. I could understand that, but I didn¡¯t like the feeling that I was falling deeper into their clutches with every bit of help and advice Esie tossed my way.

    I let out a deep breath. ¡°Fine. How will I know that I fulfilled the favor I owe?¡±

    She smiled, but it wasn¡¯t entirely kind. ¡°That depends on how many favors you accumulate, but when the tally is even you¡¯ll know.¡±

    ¡°Does the removal of the mentor ban count as another favor owed?¡±

    She tilted in her head in a silent question of what do you think?

    Of course it would.

    Esie nodded and turned back to the wall of needles that had hidden this platform from view. ¡°That should cover everything for now. If you ever need help with something pressing send a fire starter with a message and I will help how I can.¡±

    And that way I would become even more entangled with her group and their favors. I resolved then and there to only give in and send such a message as a last resort. My thoughts whirled around what I had learned and the complexities that Esie¡¯s words hinted at as I followed her back to her home.

    There were factions and clashes of thought and plans that I could only vaguely guess at for now. I did understand that the Lady of Calm Waters had swooped in and gathered me into her influence before any of the other influential players truly had a chance. The question was what she thought she had to gain out of it or if it was a early gamble based on my blessing or acquisition of a trial mark, or some plan that in reality had little to do with me. She could have taken me into her influence just make it more difficult for another person to gain use of me, though her current helpfulness, however mysterious, belayed that idea.

    Why anyone would care so much about a seedling seemed odd to me, especially when I had yet to gain any boons, but perhaps I had made a bigger splash than I thought.

    Most of the revelers were gone by the time we returned, though Esie¡¯s sister Yeelan was still stubbornly sleeping with an arm flung over her face and Kaylan stepped out of the dome yawning. Of course, she would have found her way to the comfier accommodations. Prevna waited with my pack as she munched on nuts she had gotten somewhere.

    Esie kissed Kaylan¡¯s temple in a blatant and unrepentant display of affection, though after how open they had been with each other the night before I wasn¡¯t really surprised. I shouldered on my pack as Esie ambled over to her sister and knelt to whisper something in her ear. Yeelan, unlike the giggling disaster she had been the night before, groaned and growled something back. Esie prodded her further and Yeelan flung her arm off her face and sat up right as she snapped something back. Kaylan presented the grumpy woman with a water pouch and Yeelan took a long drink before she noticed Prevna and me. One of her hands reached up to gently pat her still styled hair and she graced Prevna with a small smile. Prevna grinned back at her.

    Prevna and I left not long after, following the lead of another fire starter. Before we were taken all the way back to the Seed Landing we had to put on blindfolds which I thought was stupid and dangerous, since the railings could only do so much to keep someone from going over the edge, but we weren¡¯t given much of a choice. I tried to keep track of the twists and turns, but it didn¡¯t do me much good. There were too many of them and I wasn¡¯t familiar enough with the layout of the Seedling Palace to place the paths I thought we had taken in context. Nor did it help that I suspected that the fire starter had taken us in one or more circles while we walked.

    When we took off the blindfolds we were on our housing platform and the only thing I could say for certain was that we hadn¡¯t had to climb down from the overlapping branch that formed the bridge a little ways ahead. Wren and Dera were also on the platform. My stomach lurched at the sight of them as the fire starter left.

    The pretty girl I had hardly given a thought to while I had been away but whose looks could still make my heart beat faster and the girl who had witlessly broken the protective cold distance I had encased myself in after learning about the Black Handed Healers which had then helped fuel the current predicament I found myself in.

    We stared at each other for several long moments and then, inexplicably, Dera began to cry.

 Book 2 - Ch. 57: Of Tears and Stones

    Being comforting, in all its forms, did not come naturally to me. I didn¡¯t want to touch Dera and I didn¡¯t think saying ¡°stop crying¡± would be taken well or get the desired effect. Prevna and Wren both looked at me though as if Dera¡¯s tears were my fault and responsibility. I flicked my attention between both of them, silently hoping for some advice or help. Prevna gestured for me to approach Dera, but I stayed still. I wasn¡¯t keen on getting more involved into a unknown situation.

    When I didn¡¯t immediately move to stop the crying Wren shot me an exasperated look and turned to her companion. I looked back at Prevna, whose amusement at my obvious discomfort was only tempered by her concern for the redheaded girl.

    Prevna shifted her stance so that she could whisper without the others overhearing, ¡°You know, standing there like you¡¯ve been caught out doing something stupid isn¡¯t going to help the situation any more than if you at least tried to stop her crying.¡±

    I hissed back at her, ¡°Why don¡¯t you do anything?¡±

    She huffed out amused breath, ¡°I don¡¯t remember doing anything to make her burst into tears. Can you say the same?¡±

    I glowered back at her. We both knew I couldn¡¯t.

    Prevna made her go-ahead gesture again, more insistently this time.

    I turned my attention back to Wren and Dera and took in the scene before me. Wren had her back to me, hands braced on the other girl¡¯s shoulders, while she occasionally said some comforting words and Dera hid her tear streaked face behind her hands. Chirp, surprisingly, wasn¡¯t anywhere to be found.

    I swallowed and took a few cautious steps forward. What was I supposed to say? Or do? It wasn¡¯t like I had been particularly close to either of them before I had been forcibly taken to the shore. Nor did it help that the flutters of nervousness that always wanted to rise up when I was around Wren threatened to do so now. I crushed them down and resolved to do what I preferred to do when confronted with an unknown situation.

    Get information.

    I cleared my throat and spoke, though my voice was more hesitant than I would have liked it to be, ¡°Why are you crying?¡±

    Wren pulled Dera further into her arms and twisted slightly so that I was in her sight line. An irrational spark of jealousy flashed in my stomach at the sight followed quickly by shame when I reminded myself it wasn¡¯t my place to care about who Wren embraced. Not when I hadn¡¯t bothered to think of her over the past month.

    When Wren answered my question I forced my gaze away from her arms and up to her face. ¡°She blames herself for your fall and punishment. If she hadn¡¯t grabbed your wrist she thinks that everything would have been fine.¡±

    From the tone of her voice, Wren held me somewhat responsible for Dera¡¯s distress. I couldn¡¯t say that I didn¡¯t blame the red haired girl for what happened, at least in part, unless I wanted to lie. A lie I wasn¡¯t sure I could pull off easily right now. Nor was I in the mood to accept full blame for the fall; for what happened after, fine, but not for my slip off the thin paths. If I had still had my protective cold distance, then I more than likely would have been focused enough to get across the narrow bridge safely.

    So, instead, I tried to bypass the the issue. ¡°Oh. Well. I¡¯m back now?¡±

    Prevna sighed audibly behind me and all of Wren¡¯s usual cheer was devoid from her face and posture. Instead, she radiated resentful disappointment at me before focusing back on trying to comfort Dera who was making a visible effort to stop crying.

    I glowered a bit at the back of her head. She should have known what she was going to get when she expected me to comfort Dera in the first place, not be annoyed at the results now.

    Dera managed to mop up most of her tears after a long, awkward minute before offering me an apologetic, embarrassed look over Wren¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for grabbing your wrist. And crying. I¡­I¡¯m sorry for everything you went through.¡±

    The rare, unexpected apology shocked me. I didn¡¯t deserve it. As much as I wanted to, and did, blame Dera for the fall, it had had more to do with my own background and problems than anything to actually do with her. I knew that even if I didn¡¯t want to admit it.

    Prevna¡¯s presence pushed at me from behind. If she hadn¡¯t helped me I would likely still be frozen to my core right now. And Dera looked awfully a lot like Fellen had when I cut up her gift.

    I didn¡¯t want that. Couldn¡¯t handle it.

    ¡°Why did you grab my wrist?¡±

    Dera looked up, surprised, at my soft question before taking a few steps free of Wren¡¯s embrace and tucking some hair behind her ear. She kept her eyes on the ground when she answered, ¡°I¡­I wanted to know where you were planning to go look, so we could coordinate different areas. But you were already moving away and¡­¡± she trailed off.

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    I wanted to growl or groan to relieve the frustration boiling up behind my ribs. Of course, it had been for something competent that I had overlooked in my hurry to move on with my training and escape Jin. Part of me wanted to snap at her on reflex, but I held my tongue until I found something useful to say.

    ¡°Next time, don¡¯t grab me. I don¡¯t¡­take well to being touched without permission. Just say my name or something. If I don¡¯t respond then it¡¯s probably better to leave me alone for awhile anyway.¡± I drew in a breath, glanced at Prevna, and then added, ¡°Don¡¯t feel guilty about my punishment. You had nothing to do with me attacking those two whisper women.¡±

    Dera swallowed thickly while silence reigned on the housing platform. Wren was caught between surprise and appraising me, and Prevna looked worried about something.

    Dera spoke into the quiet, ¡°The fall, though, it could have been much worse.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t die.¡±

    She glared at me, suddenly angry. ¡°Can you recover from having all of your bones shattered?¡±

    The implication that that¡¯s what would have happened if I had missed all the branches and hit the ground or one of the roots was left unsaid.

    I pressed my lips together and didn¡¯t answer because I didn¡¯t want to say I didn¡¯t know, especially when my previous recovery rates leaned the answer towards probably not. I¡¯d survive, that much was certain, but the state I would be in or heal to wasn¡¯t nearly as obvious.

    We all stood there for a few more minutes in awkward silence. I couldn¡¯t think of anything else to assuage Dera¡¯s guilt, other than the obvious lie that she wouldn¡¯t believe, it wasn¡¯t a good time to ask Prevna what had suddenly turned her so pensive, and I had nothing remotely appropriate or useful to say to Wren. The others seemed to be in a similar situation as we all took turns pretending not to look at each other.

    Finally, Prevna shook herself out of her thoughts to ask, ¡°Can you tell us more about what you learned about earning the boon of shadow?¡±

    Wren brightened, clearly pleased to have something to focus on. ¡°Of course! Let¡¯s go into our dome and I can show you what we found so far.¡±

    I took a few moments to set my things in my own dome and center myself. Thankfully, neither Loclen nor Nii were inside, but it still felt odd to be inside the sleeping space again. Like I had been gone for years instead of little over a month.

    Once I felt like I could face the trio again and focus on the task at hand I approached their dome and whistled to let them know I was outside. Wren brushed the curtain aside and beckoned me in.

    Inside, Wren settled onto her bedroll. Prevna and Dera were already sitting on theirs, so that they all faced each other. Oddly, Prevna didn¡¯t give me a mischievous look and pat the open space on her bedroll. Still, sitting next to her beat sitting next to either of the other two, and I could tell Dera was going to protest, repeatedly, if I tried to sit on the floor. So I sat on the end of Prevna¡¯s bedroll and she snuck a wide eyed look at me when I did.

    I nearly rolled my eyes. If she was going to feel guilty about pushing my boundaries now of all times, then it was more than a little late. Despite what I said to Dera, and the truth that I didn¡¯t like being touched as a general principle, I had come to expect Prevna to try to get close and it felt odd for her to not do so now.

    Besides, the discomfort of physical contact mostly came from the implied vulnerability and unexpectedness of it. It wasn¡¯t something I was used to. However, it got easier as I got to know the other person, like with Fellen, and it helped that I knew Prevna took comfort from it. That reminded me that I could take comfort from the physical contact if I wanted to, too.

    Still, just to give Prevna a taste of her own medicine, I shifted closer to where she sat and took some small pleasure in watching her eyes bug out in wary shock.

    Wren held up a small, deep blue, perfectly round stone. ¡°Do you remember the stone Chirp found hidden in the statue of the Beloved¡¯s hand?¡±

    Of course I did, especially when it was held out in front of me. Prevna and I nodded.

    Wren smiled. ¡°We found more.¡±

    She pulled out a small pouch from her things and dumped out its contents on the floor between us. Seven more stones, each a unique and impossibly vibrant color, rolled out. Deep, rich green, bloody russet, white as bone, mourning yellow, ember bright orange, glossy violet, and warm brown.

    ¡°You think these are the key to getting the boon?¡± Prevna asked.

    Wren nodded. ¡°When I asked Jin about them she didn¡¯t really give me an answer, which isn¡¯t all that surprising given what we know now. After you all left, Dera, Loclen, Chirp, and I scoured the whole of the Seed Landing as much as we could. We kept finding these stones. The trouble is that we still seem to be missing four and we¡¯re running out of places to look.¡±

    I broke in, ¡°How do you know you¡¯re missing four?¡±

    Dera spoke up, ¡°You know the tunnel staircase right after that statue? We kept finding the stones in notable places and it seemed unique enough, so even though it was right next to where we found the blue stone we went to check it out. We didn¡¯t find anything at first, it was always too dark, but then Loclen had the idea to bring one of the pine cone lamps from our domes¡ª¡±she waved to the one currently glowing softly overhead, ¡°¡ªand it became really easy to spot what the tunnel was hiding. We didn¡¯t find another stone, but we did find that the branches of the tunnel make twelve eyes on one side of the staircase. The stones fit right into them.¡±

    I had no desire to go down into that pit of darkness again.

    Wren added, ¡°If you add a drop of blood onto the stone when you put it in, the stone glows, but it doesn¡¯t work if you try to do more than one. We think it might be a hidden doorway or something.¡±

    After a handful of moments Prevna mused, ¡°Twelve spots and there¡¯s twelve of us.¡±

    I was immediately put in mind of all of Jin¡¯s lectures and lessons that pushed us to work together. I doubted it was a coincidence.

    Wren tilted her head in acknowledgment. ¡°We think we have to get the others to help to reveal whatever the eyes do.¡±

    Prevna smiled dryly. ¡°How hard can it be to get them to hold a stone in place?¡±

    I kept my gaze on my hands, so I felt more than saw them all glance at me. Wisely, no one chose to comment out loud the difficulty my presence would likely cause.

    We ended the meeting shortly after given that, overall, the premise was absurdly simple and Wren and Dera didn¡¯t have much more to say other than to speculate where the last stones were. Nor did I have an answer about how we could convince all of the others to help when my blessing and attitude disturbed more than a few. I might be able to adjust one, but not both.

 Book 2 - Ch. 58: Quiet Time

    I headed for the bathing pool as soon as I had gathered a set of clean clothes. We had been able to wash away blood and grime at the main camp with melted snow and rags, but after everything that had happened I wanted the calm that came with soaking alone. At Gabbler Shore bathing in the lake had been one of few reprieves from the tent. Prevna didn¡¯t follow me and, thankfully, no one else seemed to have the same idea when I arrived at the pool.

    I took my time in the cool, refreshing water of the bathing pool. It was nice not needing to hurry because of freezing cold air or the knowledge that others were waiting. As I washed, I tried to prioritize my new problems now that I was back in the Seedling Palace.

    Obviously, finding the missing stones was a top priority. They were the only link we had to drinking the shadows and gaining our first boon. The only way we had to progress in our training and become Sprouts.

    The trouble came with the need to convince the other seedlings to help us. If it was Wren asking and I wasn¡¯t included in the group I doubted that anyone would hesitate to help. As it was, even if someone else asked, I could easily picture Ulo, Nii, and Andhi refusing simply because I was involved as well. It had already happened once.

    Perhaps I could bring Nii around if she was willing to put aside her misgivings about my blessing, but Ulo hadn¡¯t liked me from the beginning and Andhi had good reason not to want to work with me after the first impression I gave her. Telling someone to get touched by a shamble man wasn¡¯t something you could take back convincingly. Not that I was sure I could bring myself to tell her I didn¡¯t mean it. She didn¡¯t need to be any closer to me than she was and that comment acted as a perfectly good defense.

    Part of me was tempted to take¡­alternative solutions. Once we had all the stones all they needed to do was hold them in place. If the three of them were tied up or slightly drugged or something they would be a lot easier to deal with. There¡¯d be fallout after, of course, and I knew Dera and Wren wouldn¡¯t be on board with that kind of plan, but the idea was still somewhat tempting.

    I already had enough connections with others and I didn¡¯t want to have to smile and painstakingly talk around the issues to gain their forgiveness or understanding. There was no way I was going to apologize directly. Not when they were giving as good as they got even if they were being more passive in their methods. Nor did I like the idea of being respectful to the three when they clearly wouldn¡¯t act the same in kind, though I could be civil if it meant gaining the first boon.

    Which led to the renewed problem with Jin and Yule. From what Esie said Yule was out for revenge and Jin had been threatening me even before I attacked Yule. It wouldn¡¯t be surprising if either one of them made a move to get me removed from the palace soon, but there was little I could do to prepare for it. They could do anything from trying to make me step out of line¡ªit hadn¡¯t slipped my attention that Esie had warned me to be extra respectful to all whisper women¡ªor pushing me off the edge of a branch during a supposed accident so that I would be too hurt to continue my training to become a whisper woman. If I ran into either of them I would have to put on my best face and use the skills I had developed during her most grating days even if the thought of doing so put a bad taste in my mouth.

    Lastly, I sincerely doubted that I would be allowed to continue on at the palace as if nothing had happened to get me kicked out of it in the first place. Esie might have given me a bit of an informal warning along with some advice, but I would be surprised if that¡¯s where it ended. Things were busy now with the change of seasons and the fallout that was sure to follow after we abandoned the main camp, but I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if I was called in for questioning or another reprimand soon. They would want to make sure I understood my place. The true question was whether such a meeting would be handled by a leader among the whisper women or if it would handed off to another, like it had when Yule personally delivered my sentence. I hoped she wouldn¡¯t be handed the lead again; it was frustratingly easy to picture her twisting things so that I got kicked out anyways, if she did.

    Though the fact that she was spying on the Seed Landing for a sighting of me pointed to the possibility that she had been taken out of having a role when it came to making decisions about me. She wouldn¡¯t have to take such awkward measures if she was being informed and expected to participate in a meeting.

    I finished washing the soap out of my hair and got dressed in the fresh tunic and pants I had brought. Once my hair was braided out of the way I headed back to the housing platform and dropped off my old clothes. Grunts of effort came from the training area along with the sound of footfalls. No doubt Ulo and her group were practicing there again. They had made a habit of it when Jin disappeared.

    I kept clear of the area, not wanting a confrontation, and headed for the garden¡ªuntil I reached the narrow paths. I stopped cold a few feet from the gap they spanned, fear and annoyance coiling around in my gut. My teeth ground together. I hated feeling afraid, especially when I knew that if I held onto the rope on the larger path and paid attention that I would be fine. I knew that, but my feet still refused to move as the memory of air rushing by and the flaring pain in my side when I hit the railing settled over my skin.

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    Not that I could fall so far this time. Someone had found and appropriated a net that stretched under the two paths that already had ropes to help balance those who crossed them. It didn¡¯t help the two ropeless paths at all, but apparently whoever had rigged the net thought that everyone used the ropes to cross or assumed that everyone who crossed those bridges accepted the great risk of falling.

    I knew that the others had already collected the pouch that had been on the underside of the narrowest, ropeless path. It had held the violet stone Wren and Dera had shown Prevna and me earlier. Chirp had found it when he had been flitting around and helping search. I was glad that I didn¡¯t have to worry about getting the storming thing myself, and that they had found the pouch when I hadn¡¯t been able to mention it before, but the knowledge that I didn¡¯t have to take that path and would have the extra safety of a net under me didn¡¯t make my feet move any closer to the gap.

    Which was idiotic. I had climbed the giant pine in the main camp yesterday and had been fine. Been near the edge of other platforms and had crossed over that pine needle bridge and hadn¡¯t frozen. There was no reason why I should freeze here.

    Except that, if I fell again, I couldn¡¯t be sure that the net would hold or that I would land on another platform or offend a random whisper woman and get kicked out. If I fell again I could ruin what I had worked so hard to regain.

    I glared at the stupid paths. Of course, the garden and library were on the other side of the things. Nothing I ever wanted was easy to obtain.

    Well, I didn¡¯t need them anyway. Not now. I could practice in the nook I had found or go over recipes in my head or search on this side of the narrow paths for more of the stones.

    In the end, I turned around and headed for the outlook. Wren and Dera hadn¡¯t said that they found a stone there yet and the view would be a good reminder that heights weren¡¯t something to be bothered by.

    My plans for a quiet bit of searching and enjoying the sights were dashed when I found Idra, of all people, leaning against the railing and looking out. She didn¡¯t exactly startle as I approached but she did tense up and shift so that she could watch me. It was very odd to see her without Ento or Juniper nearby. Though she did look like she was recovering well from the blow the sea snake had given her.

    I moved to the side of the path so that she could squeeze by me if she wanted to leave, but she stayed where she was. An awkward silence stretched between us as we both stood across from each other and stared. Idra¡¯s look held a small measure of begrudging¡­respect well buried under distaste and annoyance.

    She narrowed her eyes at me. ¡°I thought you were frozen.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°I was.¡±

    ¡°Hm.¡± Idra seemed to draw herself in tighter and muttered, ¡°Dumb luck I bet.¡±

    A dozen retorts sprang to the tip of my tongue and I had to work my jaw a little not to let the worst of them out. ¡°About as dumb as doing absolutely nothing in the snake fight before getting knocked out.¡±

    Idra let out a derisive snort but, surprisingly, she didn¡¯t make another mocking comment. She pointedly kept her gaze on the distant scenery until she got annoyed with the silence again. ¡°Go find someone else to stare at.¡±

    ¡°I was actually watching the needles in the breeze. Much more interesting.¡±

    Idra lifted her chin and rolled her eyes.

    I leaned on the railing next to me and asked, softer, ¡°How are they?¡±

    She didn¡¯t need to ask who I meant. ¡°Recovering. Juniper didn¡¯t get hurt much worse than me. Not that¡ª¡±

    She cut herself off, cheeks a little pink as she realized she said more than she needed to. Still, Idra wasn¡¯t exactly difficult to read. She didn¡¯t think that Juniper should have been hurt at all and now she was blaming herself for the failure. Like as not, she was also probably taking the blame for Ento¡¯s injury since the other girl had been caught flat footed when Idra¡¯s shield got in the way.

    Idra glared at me and crossed her arms. ¡°Why do you even care?¡±

    I shrugged one shoulder. ¡°We fought together and you didn¡¯t need to come.¡±

    Idra¡¯s lips pressed together. ¡°Yes, we did.¡±

    I pressed her a little more, ¡°Why aren¡¯t you with the others?¡±

    She turned her back on me. ¡°Go away.¡±

    I left her to brood after staying put for several moments longer just to prove that I didn¡¯t have to do as she said.

    That plan ruined, I spent some time searching the other twisting paths in the area just in case the others had missed a stone when they looked through them while I was at the shore. Finding nothing after several frustrating hours, I took out my temper on the air as I practiced fighting with my knife in my hidden nook. By the time I listened to my bruised leg to stop and rest another hour had passed.

    The rest of the day passed like that. I alternated between practicing in my nook and searching the surrounding areas for an errant stone; I only broke the pattern to slip down to the cooking area to snag something to eat when I thought no one else would be there. I ran into Loclen when I was out searching for stones but we kept the conversation brief. Loclen basically treated me as if I hadn¡¯t been gone for a month other than a brisk question to check if I heard about what they discovered and a comment about how idiotic it was to attack whisper women, boasted about finding two of the stones, and tried to strong arm me into playing another game of circles and stones. I still didn¡¯t understand why she cared so much about beating me at it, but I found myself promising to play another game with her because I didn¡¯t care to stand there for minutes on end, arguing. She left quick after that and I kept up my new routine until it was time to go back to the dome and sleep.

    Frankly, I was surprised that Yule or Jin hadn¡¯t made a move against me during all the time I was alone, but then again, it wasn¡¯t like their entire day could revolve around a seedling even if they did have a bone to pick with me.

 Book 2 - Ch. 59: Preliminaries

    As expected, I was summoned three days later. Esie found me at the lookout with Prevna who was still acting odd. Every time she accidentally leaned too close in the small space she would jerk away and get an annoyed look on her face. Really, that should have been my reaction.

    I knew the others had noticed her hesitant behavior, just as everyone knew I had yet to cross the small paths, but refrained from saying so to my face. Just as I was about to roll my eyes and confront Prevna about it¡ªher actions had gone from amusing to annoying rather quickly¡ªEsie appeared from the shadows on the path behind us.

    She leaned a hip against the railing. ¡°Enjoying the weather?¡±

    It was easiest to feel a day¡¯s true temperature on the fringes of the Seedling Palace rather than the artificial constant that was maintained inside the branches. The sky was bright and clear, and the sunlight warmed all the way down to the bone. A good day for water hole tribes to get fishing and diving and other wet work done, though I doubted that most were back at their home territory yet.

    Prevna nodded. ¡°It¡¯s a good day for it.¡±

    Esie smiled back at her in agreement before the expression turned slightly apologetic. ¡°I¡¯ll need to borrow your friend, however. Jin¡¯s back and there¡¯s a few people who want a word.¡±

    She winked at me.

    Apprehension rose along my spine, but I slipped by Prevna with a short goodbye and went to the whisper woman. Esie took my hand in hers and then we were falling into the shadow paths.

    I stayed on my feet when we hit the oily looking ground, despite the disorientation, and she gave me a look of approval.

    I drew myself fully upright. ¡°Who wants to speak to me?¡±

    Esie tilted her head to the side. ¡°Oh, just the commander and Yolanda and Rivon. But I¡¯m sure you can handle two sect heads and the second of the Hundred Eyes.¡±

    I paled.

    She chuckled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. They want to hear your final report about the attack and remind you to behave yourself.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± The word came out soft as I suddenly had to contend with a dry throat. I had thought the commander might take an interest after the quests she had given me, but three high ranking whisper women? ¡°I¡¯m just a seedling.¡±

    Esie started pulling me forward with a smirk as silver-gray mist drifted past. ¡°Sure, but you¡¯re an infamous one.¡± She glanced back at me. ¡°Or did you think all seedlings get sent to the battlefront and survive?¡±

    I mulishly didn¡¯t point out that I couldn¡¯t die or that other seedlings had gone and survived without the blessing I carried, even though I wanted to. I knew that Yule had probably hoped I would get dragged to the bottom of the ocean during my time at the shore.

    Still, knowing that I had caught the attention of so many wasn¡¯t a comfortable thing. I might want to rise in the ranks and take my place among the goddess¡¯s Chosen, but I was used to being ignored and, with my current status and training, I was more likely to be used and discarded. That boded ill for my ability to reach the heights I wanted.

    Esie took me to another point in the shadow paths that looked like exactly where we had been. We could have been walking in place for all I knew, but when we emerged from the shadows we were in a completely unfamiliar area of the Seedling Palace.

    We were on a wide branch covered in unnaturally dark shadow that narrowed quickly behind us before curling upwards, so that its long needles hung overhead and blocked access to the branch. From what I could tell, the only way to get to where we were was through the shadow paths.

    Ahead of us was a tunnel made of woven needles and thin branches. However, unlike the completely dark tunnel in the Seed Landing, this one had little swirls and knots of softly glowing moss that made designs in the needles. Eyes and beasts and spears and constellations covered the inside of the tunnel in a disorientating array.

    I didn¡¯t want to enter it. It reminded me too much of the horrid tunnel that led out of Flickermark, but Esie didn¡¯t give me much of a choice.

    Her hand tightened on mine. ¡°The way to the Gathering Spot only shows paths to strength. Don¡¯t let it intimidate you, Little Diver.¡±

    Esie¡¯s soft tone on the nickname snapped me out of the remembered fear and I flicked a glare up her. ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±

    She chuckled and pulled me forward into the tunnel. The way wasn¡¯t completely straight, so I couldn¡¯t see out of the tunnel until we were a few feet from the end, but once we stepped back out into the open my breath caught.

    We were near the goddess¡¯s nest. Closer even than we had been on the viewing platform when we saw the Beloved. It rose behind where the commander sat with two other women, filling the opening in the pine needles and making sure that no one could forget the being we all answered to.

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    The high ranking whisper women sat on plush cushions on one side of an elevated wooden ring that wrapped around the entirety of the platform we stood on. A smaller, narrower ring ran below the high one. Four ramps, equidistant from each other, led up to both elevated rings. Esie and I stood on the edge of the large, empty area in the middle of both rings. Another opening in the side of the rings stood across from the entrance to the tunnel we came through. Esie led me over to it as the leaders¡¯ attention, as well as the others in the area, focused on us.

    I took stock of the situation as we walked. Jin sat below the commander on the secondary ring while Yule stood in the open area near where they had gathered. Mishtaw was also there along with Tasha. One of the whisper women who had been there when I¡­treated Melka. As well as Melka herself.

    I swallowed.

    There was more people and potential problems than I had expected.

    Esie placed a cushion into my numb hands when we entered the opposite alcove and I distantly noted the large pile of cushions and ice vine that the space held. Then she took a cushion for herself and stopped me just within the alcove¡¯s entrance.

    She gestured to the whisper woman sitting in the middle of the other two high ranking whisper women. The woman had light brown skin, with a golden tone, and long black hair braided back from her forehead in one large plait while two smaller braids framed it on either side of her head. The rest of her hair hung loose. Dark eyes stared out from between exacting sweeps of gray face paint and her robes and dress were neat. The tall, slim woman didn¡¯t look like she took well to critique or humor.

    ¡°That¡¯s Yolanda, leader of the Scales sect.¡±

    Esie directed my gaze to the woman sitting to Yolanda¡¯s left. She was shorter and, rather than the sect leader¡¯s sharp edges, was a kind of soft beauty. Big, pale eyes and wavy, chestnut hair tucked behind one pale ear. She was smiling softly to herself. It put me on edge¡ªsomething about the smile reminded me of her when she was given a patient who she knew she could extract a generous payment from.

    ¡°Rivon. The Hundred Eyes leader¡¯s second. She¡¯ll be speaking for Dawnli today which is why she gets to sit on the top level.¡± Esie glanced down at me. ¡°Do you recognize everyone else?¡±

    I nodded and she led me back out into the gathering area. We stopped a short distance from the rest of the group and I copied Esie when she set her cushion down before she inclined her head in a short bow to the leaders.

    Yolanda spoke, her voice clear and even, ¡°We have heard the grievances against you and accounts of interest covering the Lady Blue¡¯s recent insurgency, seedling. However, full understanding is of the utmost importance. We would have you tell your tale from the time of accepting your punishment until you returned to the Seedling Palace.¡±

    I noticed there was no mention of my attack on Yule and the other whisper woman. It was likely deemed that nothing I could say, no understanding that could be gained, would change the judgment and punishment already made for that idiotic sequence of actions.

    Rivon held up a staying hand. ¡°Esie, you don¡¯t need to linger. We did not call for you as you have no stake in these proceedings.¡±

    Warmth suffused Esie¡¯s tone when she spoke, but it did nothing to undermine the bite in her words. ¡°But I do. Just as you speak for Dawnli today, Rivon, I speak for my mistress and she has given patronage to this seedling. If I have no place to stay and speak, then surely the same must be true of you.¡±

    Rivon¡¯s falsely innocent looking eyes narrowed before she took on a demure expression and gestured for things to continue.

    The commander nodded. ¡°Speak, seedling.¡±

    I cleared my throat, more than aware of all the eyes and expectations on me, but I couldn¡¯t choke now. I had known something like this had to be coming. So I drew in a deep breath and began to tell the tale as if it was any other story I had drilled into my head. I started with joining Mishtaw¡¯s squad before brushing over our first fight with the fish as well as my ill thought out decision to slip away after instead of returning to camp. I mentioned meeting Kaylan and helping her keep lookout without drawing attention to her lazy tendencies. I spent more time on spotting the first wave, the commander¡¯s intervention, and helping save her from a nasty fall off the wall. The commander¡¯s quest and the hunt for the crawler. Our success killing it and then into the horrid day that started with fog and exiting out the Blood Gifter¡¯s Gate to noticing the wind was missing and fighting a storming gigantic sea snake. I got more than a few wide eyed reactions when I told them how I jumped into the thing¡¯s mouth, wasn¡¯t swallowed, and killed it. Then it was time to wrap up with Tasha¡¯s retrieval and heavily push the notion that I helped Melka solely with first aid before getting frozen.

    Silence hung heavy after I finished speaking. Nearly everyone had settled onto their cushions as I talked; only Yule still stood. It seemed that she couldn¡¯t be content with anything less than staring me down from her greater height and trying to burn me alive with her gaze alone.

    Jin was more subtle, but I sensed her judgment pressing down on me as well. I don¡¯t think she liked that the leaders were taking time to listen to me. One interesting note was that her attention kept flicking briefly to Esie. Presumably, something about the whisper woman or her association with my patron set her on edge.

    Mishtaw hadn¡¯t liked any of the moments I put myself in danger and she and Melka were pensive about the proceedings. Tasha seemed to be reserving judgment and I wasn¡¯t entirely sure why she had been included when others had had much longer interactions with me. I couldn¡¯t glance behind me to where Esie had settled but she radiated confident calm like a cloak. The whisper woman who had acted as a spokesperson when I helped Melka was suspicious and didn¡¯t seem to believe half of my retelling.

    They were the easy ones to read.

    The commander, Yolanda, and Rivon had kept their own masks as I told the tale. The commander and Yolanda had kept their features smooth and impassive, giving nothing away. In contrast, Rivon had reacted readily to most of the points in my account with a range of emotions from surprise and amusement to annoyance and impatience when she wasn¡¯t acting disinterested. That was the trouble with her, however. In my gut, I knew I couldn¡¯t trust that anything she showed was genuine, so whatever emotion she displayed was about as useful as if she had kept herself impassive like the others.

    ¡°Good.¡± Yolanda finally broke the silence. ¡°The scales are set. Now it is time to determine the truth of your account and judge your place among us accordingly.¡±

 Notice about Book 2 - Ch. 60

    I very much didn''t want to do this and I apologize for the trouble, especially after the cliff hanger from last week, but I''m going to have to put off posting ch.60 for book 2 until tomorrow. I''m so sorry! Work got unexpectedly busy this week and I thought I could get the chapter done to where I wanted it regardless, but that is no longer the case...you all deserve a better, longer chapter than I currently have.

    I will definitely have the chapter up by tomorrow 8 pm CST and I''m planning on putting up a bonus chapter by Monday night to help make up for the frustration I''m giving you and myself because of the delay. I know I only post once a week, which is already slow in the webnovel world, and along with knowing the need to discover what happens next in the web novels I read, I can only apologize again for the delay.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    I hope ch.60 will meet expectations and I believe this delay will give me the time to help make sure that happens. Thank you for your understanding and patience!

 Book 2 - Ch. 60: The Second Matter

    Yolanda swept her eyes over the gathered whisper women before settling her gaze back on me. ¡°We will address each issue separately. The first to be acknowledged is your attacks on two superiors. While your imbalanced punishment was not decided in the presence of a Scale, I will still uphold the decision as its parameters were given and met.¡± Annoyance touched Yolanda¡¯s face as she looked back at Yule.

    A thread of satisfaction wound through my stomach at Yule¡¯s cowed expression. I didn¡¯t doubt that the Scale sect leader must have deliberately shown the emotion, because she didn¡¯t seem like the type to let her neutral mask slip. The Scales sect head wanted everyone to know that the whisper woman had earned her ire and I was glad to see it.

    The commander picked up where Yolanda left off. ¡°For two unprovoked attacks on two whisper women and insubordination, this seedling was judged and punished to survive a month on the southwest front. If the fighting ended by the end of the month and she could still perform a seedling¡¯s duties, she would be allowed to return to the Palace and continue to learn our ways without a mentor.¡± She paused to smile dryly. ¡°The battle is over and Gimley stands before us, even if she stayed in camp a bit longer than the rest of us.¡±

    I firmly kept my mind from drifting back to the sensation of being frozen. That horror would not help me here in the slightest. It helped that I could take issue with my attacks being unprovoked. Between Jin¡¯s treatment, my emotions at the time, the fall, and how quickly that first whisper woman had jumped to using her painful blessing¡­it would have been a miracle for me to remain collected and rational.

    Of course, mentioning that now would do little but prove Jin and Yule¡¯s case that I was insubordinate and not controlled enough to keep around.

    Yolanda nodded once, shallow and sharp. ¡°Indeed. Going forward, seedling, you will not have the privilege of mentorship unless you prove yourself worthy of it. However, only one my ilk can judge if you have rebalanced the scales.¡±

    I inclined my head. ¡°Yes, mistress.¡±

    ¡°The first matter is settled.¡± Yolanda¡¯s tone brooked no room for argument. ¡°Anyone who takes further action against the seedling because of this issue will be held accountable for violating judgment.¡±

    Jin sat stiff and still on her cushion, more rigid than I had ever seen her. She didn¡¯t like that I hadn¡¯t been punished further for my idiotic actions.

    I was glad for the restriction on her ability to punish me on her own terms, though it wouldn¡¯t protect me from all retribution. I had enough experience in petty revenge and baiting to know she could still make my life difficult as long as she covered her actions with a viable excuse. The true question was how willing she was to spend that kind of time on a seedling.

    A glance at Yule showed that she wasn¡¯t willing to let go of her grudge just because Yolanda deemed the matter done. Acting on her grudge would be more dangerous for her but, given our different statuses and abilities, I doubted it was impossible or unlikely. She was the type who couldn¡¯t handle personal slights and I had forced her to call for help because she was losing a fight to a new recruit.

    ¡°However,¡± Yolanda¡¯s voice cracked out like a whip as her attention focused back on me, ¡°attack one of your senior sisters again and you will look back on this poorly judged punishment with wistful longing.¡±

    I wondered at what horrific punishment the sect head could devise but her implacable features didn¡¯t give any hints. Like as not, it would be as simple and straightforward as removing me from the ranks of whisper women, never to become what I needed to be.

    I resolved then and there to be on my best behavior, so that my theory wouldn¡¯t be put to the test. Failing to become a whisper women, much less one of the Chosen, was untenable. I didn¡¯t have anything else.

    Rivon spoke, amused, ¡°How dire.¡±

    Yolanda ignored her. ¡°Next is the matter of your time on the battle front. Squad leader Mishtaw, do you have any grievances you wish to bring to our attention?¡±

    Mishtaw rose from her spot and moved close to the center of circle so that she could be easily seen. She still moved with the stiff cadence of a patient recovering from injury but trying not to show it. As she walked, flashes of memory detailing less than completely respectful behavior and obedience filled my mind.

    Mishtaw inclined her head before standing tall and proud. ¡°None. Any small matter that can be expected from a seedling still in training has already been dealt with within my purview as squad leader.¡±

    I wanted to breathe out a sigh of relief at her words but, rather than draw attention, I kept my reaction as neutral as possible, as if that¡¯s what I expected her to say rather than a litany of difficult, if minor, behavior.

    Yolanda accepted her answer and shifted her attention to her right. ¡°Commander?¡±

    The commander¡¯s smile wasn¡¯t kind. ¡°She knew better than to act insubordinate with me.¡±

    Yolanda gestured to the others that were gathered. ¡°If any of you have a grievance you would like to state from that time step forward now and state your case.¡±

    My gaze flicked between Tasha, Melka, and the witness to my first aid as a sour taste gathered in the back of my throat. I hadn¡¯t exactly been completely respectful to Tasha after she helped me and while I didn¡¯t think that Melka would bring up what I had done to save her, the same couldn¡¯t be said for the remaining whisper woman. Somehow I didn¡¯t think she would frame my actions in the same light I had. Yule and Jin, at least, had very little they could pin on me from that time since they hadn¡¯t been present for most of it, if at all.

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    Mishtaw left the center of the open space we all encircled as Tasha denied having any grievances and Melka echoed her. The nameless whisper woman marched up to fill Mishtaw¡¯s vacated spot, however, and pointed an accusing finger at me.

    ¡°She healed Melka without any healer¡¯s beads. Breathed life back into her when Melka didn¡¯t draw breath.¡±

    Apparently, now that the storming woman had some time to think she had no inclination to quietly go with my explanation and let us all move on in peace. Unsurprising, if frustrating.

    The Gathering Spot got very, very quiet and still at her accusation. They might have already heard my brief overview of what happened with Melka, but it was one thing to hear that and quite another to be presented with a direct act of dangerous heresy; especially when it concerned a particular seedling already on thin ice for previous actions that went against the order of things.

    ¡°Explain further,¡± Yolanda demanded.

    The whisper woman did. ¡°We were at the cliff, rescuing those who fought the snake. Melka was found, but it was thought she had taken on water and wasn¡¯t breathing. We were taking her back to the camp, to the healers, when this girl told us that we needed to put her down, that she wouldn¡¯t make it. She even held out a piece of cut off hair to prove she knew what she was talking about. She must have been a healer.¡±

    ¡°And you complied with her demand?¡±

    The whisper woman swallowed, suddenly realizing that pointing out my actions might also implicate hers. ¡°She likely would have injured Melka further, trying to do whatever she wanted, if we hadn¡¯t set her down.¡±

    ¡°What happened after you laid Melka down?¡±

    ¡°She¡­she said it wasn¡¯t healing, that there weren¡¯t any herbs, but we all saw her breathe into Melka¡¯s mouth and press on her chest until Melka drew in breath.¡± The whisper woman¡¯s shoulders set. ¡°That¡¯s healer¡¯s tricks.¡±

    I had to clench my jaw to keep back a retort of would you prefer Melka dead and burned in a pyre then?

    Yolanda shifted her stern gaze to me. ¡°You claim to have preformed first aid?¡±

    I felt the pressure of everyone¡¯s attention as they waited for my answer. I kept my tone unnaturally civil and subdued, so that no one could use anything but my own words against me. ¡°Yes, mistress. I only helped Melka¡¯s body do what it naturally would, like bandaging a wound to help it clot.¡±

    The attention sharpened on me as I finished the second half of my statement. I cursed my idiotic tongue. Now was not the time to show off healing knowledge. Most tribe people probably would have said to help it ¡°close¡± if they had any explanation at all for what a bandage was supposed to do.

    The commander jumped in with her own question. ¡°You have such knowledge from being trained as a healer?¡±

    That felt like a trap I had to answer. ¡°Yes, mistress. But anyone could have¡ª¡±

    A sly smile played across Rivon¡¯s lips as she gestured to encompass the small group. ¡°Does anyone else here have the knowledge to return breath to the breathless?¡±

    No one spoke because no one wanted to lie before the leader of the Scales sect herself. I might be pushing my claim that what I had done was first aid, but while it might be a basic thing for a healer of a water hole tribe to know, it certainly wasn¡¯t for the common person. Even those that didn¡¯t want to take the risk of bandaging a wound knew the basic idea was wrap cloth around an injury, but those same people wouldn¡¯t know to return breath you often had to breathe into the patient¡¯s mouth and then press on their chest.

    Agitated mutters and looks started to circulate around the group, but Yolanda held up a hand and regained control of the meeting. ¡°You no longer have your healer¡¯s beads?¡±

    The lack could easily be seen. ¡°No, mistress.¡±

    ¡°When were they cut off?¡±

    ¡°A little under a month before the cold season started.¡±

    ¡°How long did you train?¡±

    The question felt like a slap. I wasn¡¯t sure I could remember a time before I had started trying to learn about the craft, even before she started training me in earnest. Not that that particular truth would help me in this scenario, even if I knew better than to lie outright.

    I swallowed to clear my dry throat. ¡°As long as any other apprentice trains.¡±

    True, even if it wasn¡¯t the full length. The reduction still wasn¡¯t enough to dispel the disquiet steadily filling the circular meeting place, however.

    Jin hissed, ¡°She has too much life.¡±

    Esie rose with a rustle of cloth behind me and stepped up to place a hand on my shoulder. I did my best not to flinch.

    When she spoke, her voice sounded calm, if slightly amused, ¡°Does she?¡± Yolanda waved for Esie to continue and she did, ¡°This seedling has already been judged. First aid or healing, it no longer matters. Or do you all think it was a coincidence that she was caught in the High Priestess¡¯s ice? The goddess punished her then, kept her as close to death as any of us can get, and then freed her when Gimley had paid her due.¡±

    Yule scoffed, ¡°Why would the goddess pay any attention to her? She¡¯s a seedling and a bad one at that.¡±

    Esie smiled that smile of hers that did nothing to hide the venom of her words. ¡°She already has.¡±

    She gestured to the trial mark on my chin and I saw them all reflect on the rumors they heard of that trial. A pine tree unnaturally grown and a whisper woman personally sent to deliver the trial; a black handed healer sent from the Seedling Palace to treat two girls who hadn¡¯t even reached their first blooding. Whisper women might not strive for the trial marks as others might, already having a special one of their own, but the significance of the mark on my chin couldn¡¯t be denied, either.

    ¡°You believe this line of questioning is in breach of judgment?¡± asked Yolanda.

    ¡°I believe the goddess has already handed out a more fitting punishment than any of us can conceive. She took the breath from one who gave it, after all, even as She dealt with the fish and drew what excess life this girl might have had back into balance. Or what other effect could such an experience have?¡± Esie presented her argument in the same easy way she had given me advice a handful of days before. As if she was merely presenting a truth that everyone else should have already accepted.

    I wasn¡¯t sure if being frozen had been coincidence or the goddess¡¯s work, though neither really settled well with me. The horror of that helpless state was more than enough without the addition of it happening by chance or the goddess¡¯s attention. Still, perhaps chance was better than being subject to the goddess¡¯s unpredictable, terrifyingly dangerous gaze.

    Jin glared at me. ¡°She should be dead. There is no order to her¡ª¡±

    The commander cut her off, ¡°Do not question the goddess¡¯s blessings, Jin. It is not your place.¡±

    My lips pressed tighter together as Jin glowered at her. Of course, knowledge of my blessing had already spread.

    Yolanda had closed her eyes as Esie spoke and ignored the exchange. I couldn¡¯t tell if she was speaking on the wind or thinking or working to withhold her emotions. She stayed that way for several long minutes as no one else dared to speak after the commander¡¯s reprimand.

    I flinched when she snapped open her eyes and did something she hadn¡¯t before. The Scale sect head drew out her prayer needle before pricking the pad of her thumb and smearing the blood over her lips.

    ¡°This matter is settled. I speak in blood for Her judgment borne and done. A debt of life was to be paid. It has been fulfilled.¡± Yolanda¡¯s gaze scoured all of us in turn. ¡°Any who violate this judgment will face the same.¡±

    The blood on her mouth dried up and flaked away as if she had uttered a prayer.

    A chill ran from the crown of my head all the way down to my toes. I was certain it was born more out of dread than elation.

 Book 2 - Ch. 61: Good Deeds Pay

    The entire group¡¯s attitude toward me shifted after Yolanda¡¯s pronouncement. The change was as subtle as it was discomforting. If I had been mildly infamous before, now I was positively marked out as something to pay attention to in the group¡¯s eyes.

    Like a snowstorm roiling through the sky and smothering everything in its wake.

    I was in the goddess¡¯s eye and that was where no one wanted to be, not unless they had the recognition of being Chosen. Disaster and destruction and death lay that way for everyone who hadn¡¯t reached the heights of their power before drawing Her attention, because if it wasn¡¯t appreciation of skill that brought Her gaze, then it typically was her ire.

    For as powerful as the women around me were they couldn¡¯t help the fear that they might end up as collateral damage if they stayed in my vicinity. There was no way to tell how long the goddess might stay interested or if She might have already moved on before Yolanda even stated the matter finished.

    Despite that, and the thought that kept chasing itself around my head¡ªno healing, none, or I¡¯d be unable to move my eyes, take a breath, the cold¡ªI noticed that fear wasn¡¯t the sole reaction even if it was the most unanimous. Jin¡¯s mouth twisted with disgust and Yule seemed¡­envious. Esie had taken a half-step backward and lifted her hand from my shoulder before catching herself and staying near, possibly out of concern or pride or solidarity. Mishtaw and Melka seemed concerned while the commander and Rivon had increased notes of interest in their posture. The accusatory whisper woman simply seemed horrified and Yolanda kept impassive.

    I didn¡¯t like any of it.

    Didn¡¯t want or need it.

    If, in that moment, I could have handed Her attention and the group¡¯s focus over to Yule like she seemingly wanted, I would have. No healing and no excuses.

    With Her attention even actual first aid might be counted as suspect. That thought, in particular, made the realization I kept trying to discard come back in awful focus.

    I could only be a whisper woman.

    Perhaps I could dabble in poisons or recite all the knowledge I had learned about plants and mixtures until I had no breath left, but they were but hollow echoes of what I wanted to do.

    Every cure I made and every wound I had healed had been mine. My work and my knowledge and effort. The product of long hours of study on a craft others knew little of. Even when I helped her, we both knew my skill had a hand in the outcome despite her downplaying that fact. I let her claim the patients, she and no one else could take my work.

    But then my beads were gone, so I had to harbor the slight hope that maybe, just possibly, every now and again I could slip a small act of healing under Her notice. I gathered the ingredients and told myself I wouldn¡¯t actually act on the impulse. That having them close was enough. But if ever things got dire¡­I was only a Seedling and surely one tiny act wouldn¡¯t catch attention.

    Of course, now I knew the idiocy of that line of thought and it made my skin feel tight even as my insides wanted to float away into dust. What was I supposed to be if not a healer¡¯s daughter? What did I have?

    For all of the time that had passed since I had been brought to the Seedling Palace by Esie the first time, ¡°whisper woman¡± had gained very little meaning. The whisper women I had met seemed to hold little in common and Jin¡¯s teaching, if it could be called that, hadn¡¯t yielded many new tidbits of information about the different sects or how to become a part of one. I could assume different skills were important, but not much to go on to figure out which ones different sects would prefer or even which sect I might want to join.

    I knew that was by design. As a new Seedling I was supposed to be focusing on honing the basics. Basics that only held functional interest to me or that I had already learned. Teamwork and weapons, endurance and writing, communication and tactics. A smattering of knowledge about whisper women from our lessons and history from the scrolls I painstakingly worked my way through.

    It wasn¡¯t enough.

    With healing I could clearly picture the end goal, could see how all the different pieces of knowledge and skill worked together. All I had now were disparate pieces that couldn¡¯t come together to make a goal.

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    I might only be able to be a whisper woman, but I couldn¡¯t even be that if I didn¡¯t know how to be it.

    Useless.

    Her voice hissed through my mind, unerring in its timing and accuracy. It wasn¡¯t as if I could be useful when the one thing I could count on being good at had just been truly taken away by the goddess¡¯s storming eye.

    ¡°Now for the third and final matter.¡± Yolanda¡¯s clear voice cut into my spiraling thoughts. ¡°It is rare for a seedling to accomplish something great enough to be recognized and awarded.¡± Irony didn¡¯t coat her words, but given what had just happened with her second pronouncement I thought it should have. ¡°You claim to have recognized the lack of wind and alerted your group early during the Fog Incursion. After, you made sound enough arguments to convince the squad leaders with you to focus on the caves which then led to the region¡¯s wind being released and a sea snake killed before it could harm the goddess¡¯s forest.¡± She turned to Mishtaw, Melka, and Tasha. ¡°Do you still corroborate these claims?¡±

    A distant note of surprise pressed through the tumble of my thoughts as Tasha stepped forward. ¡°I do, mistress. The snake was already dead when my group arrived, but of those we rescued no one else has claimed to kill it or were in a position to make a killing blow.¡±

    Mishtaw set her shoulders and stepped up next to her. ¡°She might be impulsive, but Gimley also seems to have a mind for tactics and no one else from our party would have been¡­given to jumping into the snake¡¯s mouth.¡±

    Melka agreed, though she also looked a little ashen after the goddess deigned to pay attention to a healing performed on her. ¡°Aye, mistress.¡±

    Yolanda nodded gravely. ¡°Then the scales must be balanced. Nadia, as the¡ª¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t mean to reward the heathen. She healed¡ª¡±

    Yolanda¡¯s impassive gaze became stone as she cut off Jin. ¡°That matter is settled.¡± Her eyes cut over to the commander. ¡°Can the Peacekeepers not even keep the peace among their own ranks?¡±

    The commander¡¯s voice was as sharp as a spear piercing flesh. ¡°You are dismissed, Jin. If you cannot know when to exercise your brand of peace and when to keep your mouth shut, then I will shut it for you.¡±

    Jin¡¯s jaw worked for a long moment before she inclined her head the shallowest amount. ¡°Yes, mistress.¡±

    When she rose, the bite of of her false smile promised pain and spoke volumes of the idiocy she thought everyone who supported me was committing.

    I saw Rivon watching her striding departure with a cruel smile of her own. ¡°A pity that she seems to have a lack of wit as well as decorum.¡±

    ¡°Jin has more wit than you, Rivon, she just also happens to have more conviction,¡± the commander supplied.

    Rivon¡¯s face darkened with what I thought was her first true show of real emotion, but she kept her voice airy, ¡°Should we not focus on the trial?¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡±

    Yolanda turned to the commander again. ¡°As the leader in charge of the battle front where these events occurred, do you have a suggestion for how to recognize this seedling¡¯s accomplishments?¡±

    The commander seemed to relax slightly. ¡°Of course. I propose that she is awarded with a proper mentor that can help her improve the skills that helped her change the course of the battle.¡±

    Rivon tutted, of all things. ¡°It¡¯s already been ruled that she can have no mentors.¡±

    ¡°Unless she proves herself worthy of one.¡± The commander held up a placating hand. ¡°Please don¡¯t strain yourself trying to keep up.¡± She focused on Yolanda. ¡°The scales have changed with these corroborations, correct?¡±

    The Scales sect head nodded. ¡°Do you have a name in mind?¡±

    The commander smiled. ¡°That is something for her patron to decide.¡±

    Yolanda looked to Esie who stepped up smoothly next to me. ¡°The Lady of Calm Waters prefers that Mishtaw continues her teaching of this seedling after the trial of Seed Landing is completed. Is that acceptable?¡±

    I did my best to keep my eyes from flying wide open. Mishtaw as a mentor? I had assumed I wouldn¡¯t see her much now that the battle was over. She had been more understanding than Jin, though that wasn¡¯t difficult, and she had been decisive in taking action when I did something stupid, but I wasn¡¯t sure that she would want the position. She hadn¡¯t exactly wanted to be in charge of seedlings when we were first placed in her care.

    Mishtaw spoke, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be able to mentor her every hour as I have other obligations, but if this proposal is accepted, I would accept the responsibility.¡±

    Yolanda considered for several long minutes as she had done before while I tried to work through why Mishtaw would ever want to be my mentor with all the dangers and complications involved. I didn¡¯t come up with an answer other than the possibility that she felt an inordinate amount of responsibility for me.

    Finally, Yolanda made her decree. ¡°This last matter is settled. Mishtaw will become the seedling¡¯s mentor to help develop her skills so that she can be of further use to the goddess. However, the seedling will still be denied other mentors unless another ruling is made.¡±

    Esie winked at me.

    The gathering dispersed quickly after that. Mishtaw came over to promise that she would try to meet with me soon after I drank the shadows and Melka offered awkward congratulations for the mixed results of the rulings. We all did our best to ignore what had happened in the middle as they talked and I tried to wrap my mind around it all. I barely noticed the image filled tunnel as we returned to shadowed area we had arrived at. Then Esie took me back to the Seed Landing, bid me goodbye, and left me to my own thoughts.

    They kept up a familiar refrain.

    No healing, but I had a decent mentor. No healing, and the goddess was watching me, had frozen me in that storming state. No healing, so I didn¡¯t know what to focus on. No healing, but I definitely had an enemy or two and I was next to useless unless you counted simple thinking and impulsive, desperate acts.

    I let out a breath, but the refrain continued as I made my way to my nook. After all that, I had little energy to spare for anyone else I might see.

 Book 2 - Ch. 62: Limitations

    It took two hours for the nook to become too quiet and full of the things I couldn¡¯t do. Normally, the quiet was wonderful, comforting in the certainty I had that it wouldn¡¯t be disturbed. Nor did the small space typically press on me as much as other enclosed spaces. I could see past the needles in spots and I knew that if I wanted to leave I could. There was nothing and no one to stop me.

    But, normally, I indulged in reviewing my healer¡¯s knowledge there. Plants and poultices and labels and recipes. Checking my poisoner¡¯s pouch and the ingredients secretly gathered that could be used for healing or hurt.

    I could still do that. In theory.

    Most likely, I would, sometime soon. It wasn¡¯t exactly knowledge I could allow myself to forget.

    As it was currently, however, I couldn¡¯t act on any of that knowledge. I didn¡¯t dare sort through ingredients or slip into my memory tent and slowly go over what I had learned. Test how quickly I could recall various remedies or wrap a bandage.

    The goddess might be watching.

    I doubted it. She surely had better, more interesting things to do, but I also couldn¡¯t deny the possibility. That uncertainty meant I couldn¡¯t risk it, not so soon after the trial. Not if I wanted to make absolutely sure I stayed unfrozen and kept the privilege of having a single mentor.

    So, I stalked around and around and around the little nook. I knew I should be out hunting for stones or practicing but, for once, my focus failed.

    Overall, I knew that the trial had gone about as well as it could for me. Jin and Yule were limited in how they could act against me, I hadn¡¯t been condemned or had my blessing revoked and been killed for healing someone, and I had a mentor when such opportunities were supposed to be closed to me.

    I knew that.

    Just like I knew I hadn¡¯t really lost anything I hadn¡¯t already taken away myself. But the lack was still there.

    What else did I have?

    A smattering of huntress knowledge and skills, poisoner¡¯s recipes I couldn¡¯t use now if I were to follow their strict parameters, a childhood¡¯s worth of myths and stories that might or might not help in any capacity. I could read, write the basic characters, but those weren¡¯t things it seemed like a whisper woman built her life¡¯s work around, that the sects would care about other than basic competency. Others could develop their blessing, but the thought of testing mine sounded painful and stupid. Who knew if I could recover completely from being nearly killed over and over again?

    Perhaps I could focus on one of the boons once I earned those, like the whisper woman who had given Fellen and I the trial in Flickermark, but there was no telling if I would take well to the boons before I got them. Perseverance was important, but not if it was foolhardy and fruitless.

    And even if I did take well to walking the shadows, or one of the other boons, I couldn¡¯t earn them if I couldn¡¯t find the storming stones or force myself across the thin paths.

    I growled under my breath.

    Limited.

    I felt limited and it was like being under her eye all over again. No wrong moves, no way to move forward with what I really wanted, and nothing to do but to try to make things work within a strict framework I couldn¡¯t say no to. It wasn¡¯t like the person in charge would even acknowledge I had anything to say, much less listen to me.

    Everything began to feel brittle and over bright as old fury sparked and tightened my throat. My hands trembled.

    Limited.

    Well, there was one thing I could do to lessen that. One thing that didn¡¯t involve punching someone or screaming incoherently about missing beads and bad decisions and all seeing goddesses.

    I stomped out of the nook, pulled myself over the railing back onto the main paths of the Seed Landing, and kept going.

    Kept going right past a spurned Ulo who had wanted to make a smart comment in front of Andhi and Nii and failed as I passed the housing platform. Past Prevna, who gasped when she saw my expression. She hastily climbed down from the bridge where she had been sitting and followed after me.

    ¡°Gimley? What happened?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer her.

    What could I even say? It took a goddess freezing me nearly to death for me to finally realize healing was utterly closed to me? When it had been nearly a year since I cut off my beads? That I wanted what most people understandably reviled? That it wasn¡¯t fair that the black handed healers existed and I had no idea what I was supposed to make of myself?

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    She didn¡¯t need to know I was weak.

    Besides, failure and excuses weren¡¯t acceptable. Ambition is nothing without discipline, after all.

    As if I had much to be ambitious about now.

    My black mood notched a bit higher at that thought.

    I stopped short just before the thin paths. The new net still hung limply beneath the easier paths. My gaze latched onto the thinnest path, the one without a helpful rope strung across it. The one that a storming hidden pouch had once dangled from.

    Prevna stopped behind me. Still worried, still awkwardly jerking away when she realized she had gotten too close for comfort.

    Well, what was the point of being recklessly angry if I didn¡¯t make more than one stupid decision?

    Rawley would say that everything was a resource. To be flexible.

    Jin had stolen all that prattle when we first arrived about knowing ourselves and working together because storms could topple single trees but not forests. I detested doing anything remotely close to listening to her, but it was true that I was tired of getting kicked in the teeth on my own.

    Prevna was here and seemed to care for some throughly unthoughtful and poor reason that I was sure she would regret later. She had helped me come back from the goddess¡¯s retribution once already, even if she didn¡¯t know it, and when Fellen couldn¡¯t move forward when we finally made it to the Statue Garden I had pulled her through.

    I didn¡¯t need to be pulled forward, but, storm it all, it might be helpful to know that I couldn¡¯t go off the edge of the bridge without taking someone with me. And that was something I couldn¡¯t allow to happen, not if I couldn¡¯t heal her. Not when she had helped me more than I had helped her.

    I spun on Prevna, still high on adrenaline and impotent fury. She tried to take a startled step backwards, but the motion was cut short by my grip on her forearm. Prevna blinked down at where I held her before slowly looking back up, more wary than confused.

    ¡°Gimley¡ª¡±

    ¡°Stop flinching.¡± She flinched at my tone and I ground my teeth together before holding up her arm. ¡°You¡¯ve always known how far to push and when. It¡¯s more difficult now that you flinch away every five seconds. I know what I said to Dera. You already knew that, so stop flinching and get back to your usual self. Things are better that way.¡±

    I could have sewn my fool mouth shut when, after a few long moments, Prevna started to get that knowing, smug look back in her eyes. ¡°Are they?¡±

    Instead I rolled my eyes and pointed at the narrow, empty path. ¡°We¡¯re crossing that.¡±

    The wariness wasn¡¯t completely gone. ¡°Not the ones with the net Wren and Dera so nicely made under them?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Will you tell me what happened after?¡±

    I considered. Likely she would find out on her own if I didn¡¯t tell her, but if I did the telling I could gauge her reactions better. ¡°Fine.¡±

    Prevna grinned. ¡°Are you going to let go of me?¡±

    My jaw worked before I finally managed to spit out the uncomfortable answer. ¡°No.¡±

    Her grin got bigger, even if there a bit of underlying concern. She gestured with her free hand. ¡°Lead on, friend.¡±

    I scowled, but didn¡¯t fire back a retort like I was tempted to do. My head was too full of too many other things, like the sheer idiocy of inviting her even closer to me and the fact that I was about to walk across the most dangerous path in the Seed Landing when the last time I had stepped onto the thin paths I had fallen and nearly gotten myself kicked out.

    It helped that everything still felt bright and brittle and a little unreal as the litany of useless, worthless, limited, no healing pushed me on from the back of my head.

    I wobbled on my first step onto the path. I only had an inch or two of space on either side of my foot before the air opened up into a long plummet.

    Prevna¡¯s free hand touched my shoulder, steadied me, before dropping away. I closed my eyes and drew in a long breath before focusing back on the path ahead. Another step and then another, and then we both were a half a step away from free fall.

    Prevna didn¡¯t offer words of encouragement or crowd me, though once she couldn¡¯t stop herself from making a small jibe that she might lose her hand from blood loss. I wanted to let go of her then, wanted the safety of distance, but I had brought her onto the storming thin path and if I was a fraction of a second too slow to grab her if she fell I would have no excuse. No good reason. All I would have is the vain hope that she hit a landing, didn¡¯t die, and that I could reach and treat her before the goddess froze me for good.

    A part of me wanted that outcome even as I hated the addicted nature of it. The slim vindication to use healing one last time.

    The larger, more rational parts of me recognized the foolish nature of that desire, the truth that such an ending would only prove that I amounted to the little she said I was. Those parts of me also remembered the sheer horror and pain of being so helpless and freezing and shied away from choosing an eternity of it.

    We took another careful step and another. A soft breeze drifted by, warm and gentle, and the dark pine needles rustled around. The scent of sweet and stringent plants drifted from the garden. A shaft of sunlight managed to pierce through all the coverage and land on the path just past the halfway point. It blinded me until I blinked my eyes clear and stepped back into the cooler shadows. Prevna made a pleased sound when she stepped into the sunlight.

    My chest felt tight as we edged forward, shoulders tense, eyes carefully cataloging anything that might make us slip such as a couple needles that had fallen from above and draped over the path. They were thin and easily stepped over, but I felt Prevna start to slip on one as it rolled under her foot. I tightened my grip on her and shifted, pulling my weight slightly to the side and forward to balance out her own. She caught herself and touched my shoulder again in thanks.

    We moved forward.

    The end of the path was nearly disappointing in its simplicity. I took one, two, three steps and then I was off, onto the platform leading to the garden. Prevna stepped onto the platform behind me and it was over.

    I let go of her and looked back over the way we had come, heart still beating fast.

    Over.

    If I had done it once, I could it again.

    Not so limited after all.

    I glanced over at Prevna and she shifted, arms crossed and looking expectant. ¡°Tell me?¡±

    I did.

 Book 2 - Ch. 63: Planted Panic

    Prevna stayed quiet longer than I thought she would after I told her about the trial. She seemed pensive and a bit worried, but not so much that she couldn¡¯t bury it under her usual smile.

    ¡°And I thought you kept things interesting when you were kicked out to the shore.¡±

    I pressed my lips together and didn¡¯t respond to Prevna¡¯s comment. Fury, now directionless, still burned in the back of my throat and under my ribs, though it had lessened somewhat after we made it across the thin paths and I laid the events of the trial out to Prevna.

    In the past I always knew what was expected of me, what I needed to achieve next. I might not have liked the next step, but I had known what it was. Heal this person, learn that myth, work on these exercises.

    The only time I felt close to the same as this was when I stopped having a mother. But even then there had been a few clear steps I could take: abandon her back, learn more skills that might help me once I reached the Seedling Palace, and do what I could not to get hurt again.

    Not all of the steps had been successful.

    Losing the healing beads¡­I swallowed. That had been even clearer in what I had to do to move forward, simply because of what I was no longer allowed to do. I might have done my best to avoid that clear fact and work around it, but the simple truth that I needed to move my focus to something other than healing had been present from the beginning.

    The goddess¡¯s punishment merely put a shining focus on that truth without allowing for loopholes or fine lines to edge around.

    In a way, it felt like I had lost my healer¡¯s beads all over again and I didn¡¯t like it. At all.

    But I couldn¡¯t blame the goddess or her or Grandmother.

    None of them had wielded the eating knife. I had.

    So it was my own storming fault that emptiness and fury were scrambling around in my belly and no matter how many sacks I pictured I wouldn¡¯t be able to tie them up and burn the feelings into oblivion.

    Part of me wanted to stomp through the opening to the garden and destroy it all¡ªwhy should anyone else be able to use it if I couldn¡¯t¡ªwhile another part of me shriveled up at the thought of ruining so many plants.

    I might not be as limited as I had felt before, but the lack of something distinct to focus on made my fingers itch. Crossing the thin paths was already done and gone, so now I needed something else, anything else, to feel like I was moving forward with becoming a whisper woman.

    ¡°Gimley?¡± Prevna caught my attention. ¡°It¡¯s not like this is the first time you¡¯ve caught the goddess¡¯s attention, right?¡±

    I blinked at her. ¡°Not if Flickermark counts, but She didn¡¯t act directly then.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s smile grew a little more genuine, a little more mocking. ¡°She didn¡¯t act directly this time either. The Head Priestess created the ice and you said that the Scale sect head made the declaration. So as long as you do what She wants, like you did before, you¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    I nearly sighed. ¡°I would have died in Flickermark if not for my blessing.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°You would died from Her punishment if not for your blessing. Perhaps it gets taken into account.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not encouraging.¡± Even the memory of being frozen made my spine run cold. I did what I could to shake myself free of it. ¡°Besides, I don¡¯t know what She would want from me this time.¡±

    Prevna gave me a look like the answer was obvious before she ticked off her points on her fingers. ¡°No healing. Become a whisper woman.¡±

    I glared at her. I knew that.

    Prevna¡¯s expression shifted to one that said I was an idiot as she added, ¡°Finding all the stones would be a good place to start.¡±

    My glare intensified. ¡°I know.¡±

    She snorted.

    I hadn¡¯t forgotten about the stones. I just hadn¡¯t had any luck finding the remaining ones so far and I didn¡¯t appreciate the lack of¡­control I had over the situation. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if most, or all, of the remaining stones had been found by the other seedlings already. Which put even more pressure on the need to convince them to join us and I wasn¡¯t in a diplomatic mood.

    After several more moments of long silence Prevna leaned back slightly and crossed her arms. ¡°What now?¡±

    My thoughts began to spiral, again, at the question, but I cut through them with a slash of my hand and gestured to the entrance that led to the garden. ¡°We¡¯re here. Let¡¯s go look.¡±

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    Prevna gestured for me to lead the way, so I did¡ªonly to stop short as I stepped into the garden. The sweet and stringent scents, the taste of clean water in the air, the abundance of green carpeting the ground between the brown amber of the artificial tree¡¯s roots where the water didn¡¯t pool¡­

    All of it hurt. All of it brought a dozen different recipes to mind; this recipe for swelling or that one to soothe a burn. This preparation or that alternative. This leaf during this time in the season or that stem as the cold season drew near.

    I had thought that I could just push past it, stride forward and pretend like there was nothing there to affect me. But the sheer clarity that I couldn¡¯t even indulge in partial preparations like I had before galled me. Nor did it help that, for whatever reason, Loclen, Dera, and Juniper were sitting together under the amber tree and gawking at my sudden halt. I vaguely noted that Ento and Idra weren¡¯t close by in their usual guard positions, but the sheer lack pressing on me made it difficult to focus on the others.

    My breathing picked up.

    The impulse to destroy everything spiked, if only to make it so I didn¡¯t have be confronted with all the things I couldn¡¯t have for another moment. It was a small blessing then that I didn¡¯t have the common blessing of fire or the garden likely would have gone up in a blaze.

    Mother¡ª

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Prevna¡¯s voice.

    I focused on it like a drowning idiot latching onto a line. Better this present than whatever memory my mind was about to dredge up. ¡°Let me out.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s fingers caught around my wrist and she pulled me back through the pine needles, so that the garden was no longer in sight. As soon as I was through she dropped my wrist and asked, ¡°Too much?¡±

    I made a noise of agreement, still trying to get my mind in order. All of my anger was gone, drowned out by the shock of my reaction to the garden. They were just plants! Tools, nothing more.

    Or at least that¡¯s what they should have been.

    Lying to myself didn¡¯t make the loss any less. I might still be able to make poisons, but poisons hadn¡¯t been my child solace. Even with her as my teacher, the motions of healing had been comforting and now I didn¡¯t think I had anything else that filled that need.

    ¡°You should give yourself more time. The trial only ended a short while ago.¡±

    And what? Meekly go back across the thin paths? Waste the day searching areas for stones that I had already looked through?

    Prevna stepped into my space, not touching, and spoke sternly. ¡°Gimley. If you take so much as a step through those pine needles I will poison you.¡±

    Contrariness sparked and I relished the feeling. That was something I knew.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°As if I would let you.¡±

    Her jaw set. ¡°I will.¡±

    I shut my eyes and stepped to the side through the pine needles. I felt them move as Prevna chased after me so I skipped back a few more steps and nearly plunged my foot into one of the pools. After that I risked cracking my eyelids open, just in time to dodge Prevna¡¯s reaching hand.

    Weaving to the side, I sprinted up one of the paths through the garden and did my best to focus on Prevna rather the plants surrounding us. She was determined to catch up with me and, with her longer limbs, she covered more ground more easily than I could. It wasn¡¯t long before I had to duck past one of her reaching hands¡ªonly to be caught along the cheek by her other hand.

    Fatigue billowed out from the point of contact, so strong and sudden that my knees buckled. Prevna caught me and I couldn¡¯t summon the energy to push away from her. Couldn¡¯t summon the energy to identify the poison other than that she had given me a large dose. It could have been anything from Sleeper¡¯s Vine to Mourner¡¯s Flower.

    The others shouted something at us and Prevna replied before tugging me along with her. Whatever she said, none of them interfered though I did feel someone new slip under my free arm and support me from the other side.

    I wanted to rage at Prevna for making me so helpless, for standing up to me, for finally making the edge of loss lessen, for doing what I couldn¡¯t. I didn¡¯t fall asleep, not while they were moving me, though I couldn¡¯t keep my eyes open and an embarrassing yawn burst out part way through. Finally, I felt the comforting press of a thick pile of pine needles at my back and that crippled my resistance to sleep.

    - -

    When I woke Prevna was sitting against the needle bed they had laid me on. She noted that I was awake at the same time I noted that she was there but we both kept silent. The knowledge of everything that had gone wrong with Fellen rushed to the front of my mind and kept me from lashing out at her for what she had done, but I also couldn¡¯t bring myself to thank Prevna.

    For her part, I liked to think she looked a bit worried and guilty¡­and possibly a bit annoyed. She twirled a pair of pine needles between two fingers before flicking them away.

    Then Prevna looked me straight in the eye. ¡°I know you¡¯ve been through a lot, but don¡¯t make me do that again.¡±

    I opened my mouth. Shut it. Gave a quick nod.

    She relaxed slightly before glancing back toward the garden. ¡°Can you make it through again?¡±

    My jaw clenched. I had thought I had gotten rid of the limitation but, instead, I had only pushed it further back.

    And now I was on the wrong side of it. ¡°Not today.¡±

    Prevna nodded like she had expected that answer. ¡°We¡ª¡±

    ¡°No others.¡±

    She scowled at me. ¡°They¡¯ll notice. Loclen already helped me carry you here, so we can bring you food until you¡¯re able to cross back over or we get the hidden passage unlocked.¡±

    I turned my head to the side so I didn¡¯t have to look at her.

    After a couple more minutes I heard her get up and start to head toward the garden. I couldn¡¯t help but ask one last question. ¡°What poison was that?¡±

    She stopped to reply, ¡°Sleeper¡¯s Vine.¡±

    I let out a breath. The pollen from Sleeper¡¯s Vine had no severe side effects. I would likely only have to contend with increased drowsiness for the next two or three days, given the large dose she had given me. It was normally used to help sick children rest or other fretful sleepers, if they allowed themselves to be treated. Of course, for the actual plant its prey typically didn¡¯t wake up before it ate them, but nothing larger than a rat could fit in its petaled ¡°mouth¡±. I remembered seeing one such plant up in one of the amber baskets on the tree and wondering how it survived there. Perhaps the Black Handed Healers took care of the plants, or fire starters, though none had come into the garden when I had been there. I also wondered how Prevna had recognized the plant, but she was already gone and it wasn¡¯t the time to press for details.

    Better to put plants out of mind as much as I could for now.

    Better to focus on finding the stones and the fact that I had access to the library.

    Better to do anything than let myself show such weakness again.

 Book 2 - Ch. 64: Stones and Connections

    I stayed in the pine needle bed longer than I should have and longer than I wanted to. That didn¡¯t change the fact that I needed time to process the quick succession of gains and losses the day had brought; time when I wasn¡¯t being pushed on to make new mistakes by impulsive fury. So I laid there and, slowly, methodically, did what I could to focus on the good news.

    I was allowed to stay and train to become a whisper woman. Jin and Yule would have a harder time coming directly after me if they decided to continue their efforts to get me kicked out of the Seedling Palace. Mishtaw would be my mentor once I became a Sprout.

    Everything else but the hunt for the stones could be ignored for now. So I switched my focus to that as a pine cone lantern swayed overhead from a light breeze.

    Wren, Dera, Loclen, and Chirp had found eight out of twelve stones already. I knew that they had found them hidden on the statue before the staircase tunnel, the platform where we first arrived to the Seed Landing, the training platform, the amber tree, in the bag under the thin path, the nook with the shrine to the goddess, on top of a dome on the housing platform, and in the bathing pool.

    Which left the outlook, the Strands, the cooking platform, the viewing platform where we saw the Beloved, and the library as my top remaining choices for where a stone might be hidden. I had checked the outlook after Idra was no longer occupying it, but hadn¡¯t found anything. The same was true for the cooking platform and the Strands, though I hadn¡¯t really expected to find anything on the needle ridden platform. I hadn¡¯t found the way up to the arena, after all, so I doubted I would find a small stone in that claustrophobic mess.

    Still, I couldn¡¯t check any of those spots now. I could check the viewing platform and the library which did help since I hadn¡¯t been able to go over them before. The trouble with both of them was that I didn¡¯t feel like interacting with anyone and I couldn¡¯t reach a pine cone lantern to light my way down the staircase. If I went down in the dark, now, after I barely got a handle back on myself, there was a high chance that I would slip back into an¡­unpleasant memory.

    Couldn¡¯t go forward and couldn¡¯t go back.

    I could have growled at the sensation. Part of me was ready to storm forward and ignore all potential consequences like I had before, but I couldn¡¯t ignore that such recklessness had landed me in this pine needle bed in the first place so I pulled back from the impulse.

    In the end, I sat up and practiced one of Rawley¡¯s tests of perceptions. It would help to be more observant when I looked for the stones and listing out everything I sensed settled me in a way pacing around the nook had failed. I fell into doing a few of my mentor¡¯s stretching exercises next, only stopping when I heard multiple sets of soft footsteps coming toward me.

    I turned to find Juniper, Idra, Ento, and Breck standing on the path. They all looked like they had recovered well from their injuries and were expecting something. I waited to see what they wanted.

    Juniper indicated an area past me. ¡°Join us?¡±

    I narrowed my eyes at her, but she made no mention of seeing me¡­respond poorly to the garden earlier. Nor did she do anything that hinted she might have heard about the trial.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Why?¡±

    Idra scowled at me while Breck looked bored and Ento didn¡¯t change her steady presence. Juniper, for her part, simply gave me an appraising look.

    ¡°To talk. We heard you and Wren¡¯s group know how to get to the next step of training and we think we can help.¡±

    That caught my interest, though I still didn¡¯t trust whatever reason they might have had for approaching me rather than Wren. I stepped to the side. ¡°Fine. Lead the way.¡±

    Juniper offered me a small nod before she stepped smoothly forward, the others close behind. I followed after. Juniper took us to the wide oval shaped platform with cushions that the path to the library hid against like I expected.

    Idra snatched up three of the cushions before setting them down close together. Juniper sat on the middle cushion while Idra and Ento flanked her. Breck and I got our own cushions. She sat a few feet from the others and I sat across from all of them.

    I lifted my chin. ¡°So?¡±

    Juniper spoke, ¡°My tribe helps protect the delta that ends the great river that runs from First Shore Lake. You killed the sea snake¡ªthat would bring high honor and reward to the huntress that managed it there. Since there are no higher members of my tribe here, I must do my part.¡±

    Breck added, ¡°Difficult kills are acknowledged in my tribe as well.¡±

    I tilted my head at her. ¡°You weren¡¯t there.¡±

    She shrugged one shoulder. ¡°The kill has been confirmed and repeated enough to become storied. Storied kills should never be ignored.¡±

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    I nodded as if I knew what she was talking about and pressed, ¡°I¡¯m not a part of your tribes, so why do you care?¡±

    Juniper¡¯s lips twitched into a small smile. ¡°We also want to advance.¡±

    She held out a hand, palm up, and Idra, looking a bit put out, took something small from a pouch on her belt before placing it on her leader¡¯s palm. It was an impossibly clear marble. I could see through it to her palm underneath without the faintest imperfection to cloud my sight.

    Juniper rolled her hand so that she held the stone up between her fingers. ¡°Idra found this stone on the outlook. We will give it to you and pledge to do our part when it comes time to open the passageway.¡±

    ¡°You spoke to Wren.¡±

    She shook her head once. ¡°Dera.¡±

    As if that really made a difference when it came to this. My jaw clenched. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you give it to her when you spoke or keep it until the time came?¡±

    Juniper leaned forward and placed the clear marble on the stone between us. ¡°You killed the sea snake. You brought us back to the shore. The stone marks our pledge to you.¡±

    I neglected to point out that she and her friends got hurt because of that and took the stone. The way she said sea like it was nearly a slur and shore like it was blessed ground was an odd contrast, however.

    Juniper looked over to Breck and I followed her gaze. The strong girl had already pulled out a stone of her own and was holding it up. This one was as black as onyx, as black as something could get without the goddess¡¯s touch.

    Breck looked me straight in the eye. ¡°You don¡¯t get this one. But I¡¯ll hold it in place when the rest are found and tell of your kill at the fire.¡±

    I kept a firm grip on my patience. ¡°You don¡¯t need to spread the rumors.¡±

    Breck stiffened. ¡°I¡¯m not a coward who silences another¡¯s deed.¡± Then her shoulders relaxed slightly. ¡°But I can tell your story.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to tell a story or spend more time with them, but it also felt like I would insult her if I didn¡¯t tell her¡ªwhich normally wouldn¡¯t have meant much, but I already knew that Breck could go to extreme lengths when her pride was wounded and it could serve as a distraction from¡­everything else.

    ¡°Fine.¡± I held up a hand as Breck went to tuck her stone away. ¡°But first, where did you find that stone?¡±

    She finished slipping it into a pouch. ¡°The Strands.¡±

    That made sense as much as anything. She had found the way up to the arena there, after all. Though it was a bit shocking to know that anyone had found something so small in all those pine needles.

    I ordered my thoughts, waited several moments for Juniper to announce that she and the others were leaving, and then started to speak when she didn¡¯t. I didn¡¯t know why she wanted to hear what happened when she had been there the whole time, but she listened attentively the entire time. Idra didn¡¯t. As soon as I mentioned the cave entrance crumbling she became fidgety and took to glowering at me, especially when I mentioned her getting head butted across the cliff. Ento sat stiffly with her attention mostly on the other two, like she was ready to jump up and protect them on the insignificant chance that a sea snake would pop up here.

    By the time I finished, Breck seemed oddly pleased to have heard the story firsthand while Juniper kept her expressions to herself and the other two were ready for it to be over.

    Breck inclined her head to me and rose. ¡°I will be ready when the time comes to open the passageway.¡±

    I nodded back at her, not sure what to say.

    Juniper and her group rose as well. ¡°Thank you for sharing. From what I¡¯ve heard Andhi has found another stone.¡±

    I nodded at her too and they all finally left.

    I didn¡¯t want her information to be correct, because I doubted that Andhi wanted anything to do with me after our first meeting and she was in Ulo¡¯s group, who held a grudge against me for some reason as well, but I knew it probably was.

    Which left a single stone unaccounted for.

    I sighed and tried to reason through whether the library or the viewing platform or some other place would be the most likely spot to find it. After a while I gave up the exercise as useless. I could reason all I wanted, but it didn¡¯t mean much unless I acted on my reasons and that wasn¡¯t going to happen today.

    Too much interaction and too much whiplash.

    I knew what I wanted to do to settle down and regain my energy, what I would normally do, but reviewing plants and ingredients and recipes would only make things worse. So, I took advantage of the wide platform instead and practiced with my sling and knife before running laps and practicing some of the exercises Rawley had taught me. According to her, it was good to be flexible, after all.

    Prevna found me sweaty and tired when she brought me my evening meal. Her nose scrunched up at my apparent smell and it didn¡¯t take her long to find bowls filled with water and a rag. I didn¡¯t ask where she found the bowls and she didn¡¯t offer the information but they looked near identical to the ones I had stashed in the garden. The bowls weren¡¯t large, so it took several refills before she proclaimed I smelled like a decent human being.

    After that, she warned me that she wouldn¡¯t be coming alone in the morning and left before I could object. I didn¡¯t like involving others in my problems or even letting them be aware that I had problems, but Prevna had other ideas. Part of me hated the fact that I had let her in while another knew there was no help for it now.

    Too restless to sleep, I wandered around the safe pathways between all the locations I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to go to until the shrine caught my eye. I knew better than to rail at the goddess even if the desire to tightened my throat. Better that small pain than Her anger. Still, it felt wrong to keep pacing around without doing something now that I stopped to acknowledge the shrine.

    I stared at the shadowed stone slab and its carved tree for a long, long time. Night had fully settled with only a pine cone lantern nearby to light the branch under my feet. The light didn¡¯t reach within the shrine¡¯s domed nook, though it did help me make out glints of red of the pine tree. The occasional creak of wood or whisper of pine needles kept the night from being oppressively quiet.

    Finally, my gaze dropped to the harsh white of the bone bowl at the shrine¡¯s base. My prayer needle slipped free from its spot with the ease of long practice and I opened the flap on my thigh so that I could prick my mark.

    The coppery scent of blood sweetened the air as three drops fell into the bowl and I prayed.

    ¡°Give me whatever trials you will, because I will face them. Test me, for every life versus death, and I can promise you I will still be myself on the other side. Just give me healing and I will give you everything.¡±

    The blood pooled and settled and sat in the base of the bowl.

    It did not flake away. It did not crumble.

    And I had the ugly thought that it was because the goddess knew, one way or another, She could already have everything.

 Book 2 - Ch. 65: Little by Little

    I waited for Prevna and whoever she was bringing on a dark amber bench in the ice vine area of the branch leading to the library. Gritty eyed, and not in the best of moods, I squinted against the rising sunlight as it seeped through the long pine needles of the Seedling Palace.

    Whether I liked it or not, whether I had a pine cone lantern or not, I had to go down to the viewing platform today and see if it hid the last stone. It was the only practical thing to do. No matter how much I practiced my other skills they wouldn¡¯t mean much if I couldn¡¯t progress to become a Sprout, like Clara. And if I didn¡¯t find the stone on the platform I would need to visit her and Shawsh next.

    If others wouldn¡¯t give me the results I wanted then I needed to at least move forward with the results I had control of.

    The results I got weren¡¯t what I expected.

    For starters, Prevna brought not one, not two, but three people with her that morning. I didn¡¯t bother to hide my glare at her as Wren, Dera, and Loclen made themselves comfortable on the bench next to me or on the pathway itself. Prevna plopped herself next to me with a challenging look of her own.

    I looked away first. She huffed.

    Wren pressed the package she had been holding forward with her foot, from where she sat on the pathway, until the bundle pressed against my leg. Dera shyly reached around Prevna and set down a pine cone lantern.

    She offered, ¡°We thought you might want to look at the spot in the tunnel we found.¡±

    I gave her a tight nod before my gaze shifted to Prevna, unbidden. Prevna rolled her eyes at me before turning her attention deliberately to Dera. ¡°It¡¯s better to have more eyes on the wall to make sure we don¡¯t miss anything, right?¡±

    Dera brightened. ¡°Right.¡±

    So that was the explanation she had put forward instead of telling the others the true reason for why I might want a lantern in the dark, enclosed tunnel.

    There was a clatter as Loclen dropped my spear next to the other gifts. ¡°Let¡¯s eat. It¡¯s too early for anything else.¡±

    Prevna nudged the bundle that Wren brought into my ankle as she shrugged out of the pack on her back and I got the hint even as I recognized the pack. It was mine. And it looked as full as it had been when I was taken to the shore. Apparently, subtlety about my length of stay on this side of the garden wasn¡¯t taken into consideration.

    I picked up the bundle Wren brought. It was a blanket that had all four corners tied together before I undid the knots to reveal our meal: flat bread, a large bowl of pluckings covered with a rag and twine so it wouldn¡¯t spill during its short journey, a similar bowl of chopped meat, and a pouch of ground¡¯s blush berries. They were one of first things to pop out of the ground and ripen after the goddess¡¯s winds blew through.

    My mood darkened when I saw the berries and then darkened further as I berated myself for letting measly berries affect my mood. I couldn¡¯t let every identifiable plant I saw affect me.

    Even if I did know that if they were crushed and strained the dried pulp was helpful for getting the blood moving through the body and the juice could be added to a number of recipes.

    I gritted my teeth and drew in a breath through my nose as, for once in my life, I wished the knowledge I had learned hadn¡¯t been ingrained so deeply. That it took me a moment or two to deliberately recall the basic information rather than an automatic catalog and evaluation as soon as I saw an ingredient I recognized.

    Prevna¡¯s light brown hand set down a piece of flat bread piled with pluckings and meat on my lap. I looked up from my inner frustration to find that she had already divvied up most of the food to the others. She offered me the berry pouch and I shook my head. Her gaze narrowed on me before the moment broke and she shrugged and took some for herself.

    Dera leaned around her again to smile uncertainly at me. ¡°There should be enough left to keep for your midday meal.¡±

    I tried to keep the snapped retort in, but there was only so much I could take. ¡°I can take care of myself.¡±

    Dera flinched back from my tone despite the fact that the statement was immediately undercut by the things they brought, the food in my lap, and Loclen¡¯s derisive snort. ¡°Didn¡¯t seem that way yesterday.¡±

    My jaw worked. I wanted to punch her or cut her down with my words, but I didn¡¯t want to ruin even more things. Loclen wasn¡¯t a friend, but Prevna was right there and I didn¡¯t want to see the same frustrated disappointment on her face that Fellen had when I shredded her hair decoration. Wren was there too, watching me with a wary expression, and while it would be best for them all to keep their distance I didn¡¯t want to see fear or disgust on her face either.

    So I dug the nails of one hand into my palm, set my food aside with more force than necessary, and stood. ¡°Say that again when you beat me at something. I don¡¯t need anything you brought.¡±

    Which was a blatant lie unless you only counted the spear Loclen had dropped at my feet. If I didn¡¯t train with it chances were I wouldn¡¯t need it in the Seed Landing.

    Still, I knew that if anyone pressed the issue further the thin hold I had on my temper was going to snap and most likely I, and whoever snapped it, was going to regret whatever happened after later. They might deserve it for pressing me, but I was aware enough to know that most of my temper had nothing to do with those around me.

    So I walked away and did my best not to stomp like some petulant child. I heard Prevna let out a small exasperated breath behind me, but, when I heard shuffling feet, she stopped them from going after me.

    Tiredness dragged at me, but I wasn¡¯t in the mood to sleep and I had things to do. I stopped just short of the enclosed staircase. Nothing like bone deep frustration to get me through the panic or panic to cut through the directionless anger. Either way I¡¯d have a new problem to focus on and, hopefully, a stone to find.

    The Beloved¡¯s statue stared past me, still sharing a conspirator¡¯s grin with those that passed by. I touched her hand where the stone had been hidden for luck and stepped past the covering of needles before my logical misgivings could catch up with my mind.

    The walls pressed in around me as I stepped as quickly as I could down the steps. I could still see here, but I knew that would change soon enough, and the quicker I got through the better things would be. The tunnel started to turn and the foliage overhead got thicker. Gray shadow to pitch black.

    Panic burgeoned from a pool of anxiety in my stomach to a sharp knife that cut through my stupid frustration. Everything felt too close and too wide at the same time now that I couldn¡¯t see my next step and the memories were beginning to vie for my attention.

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    Now that there was no one to prick my pride and I was in this horrible, private space I could admit that I was scared. Lost. It was easier to admit here even than it had been the night before when I pleaded with the goddess. After all, my most recent loss wasn¡¯t alone in this claustrophobic space.

    Part of me wanted to sink into the memories, even though they could only hurt, because in them I would still have my healer¡¯s beads. The same part of me idly wondered what living memory would consume me. Would it be the horrid walk through Flickermark¡¯s exit tunnel again? Being kept inside the tent with no escape from judgment? Or the first time the twins stopped looking at me with friendly faces and turned away from me instead? The first time I learned that Father¡¯s protection and love only ran deep if there was no one watching?

    I had my healer¡¯s beads through all of it, and I could heal everything else even if I couldn¡¯t heal that.

    But I didn¡¯t now. And reliving the memories wouldn¡¯t do anything but weaken my control and make me even more worthless.

    I had myself and didn¡¯t need anyone else, anything else. I had gotten myself into this mess, so it was about time I do something to get myself out of it.

    I stepped down the stairs, one slow, careful step at a time. Better not to slip and fall again. Better not to rush.

    I controlled my breaths, in and out, shaky as they were. But that was better than letting the panic run rampant. Even if I couldn¡¯t control anything else I could still be in charge of that.

    This was only a covered stairway with decent enough space for me to move. No one to block me from going down or up. Not a tent, not an alcove, no disappointed gazes to be seen.

    So I was fine.

    I just had to keep going. One cliff edge of a step at a time.

    After some indeterminate amount of time, the tunnel began to lighten. I let myself move quicker once I was able to see again. When I burst out onto the viewing platform I stumbled forward for a handful of steps before I let myself collapse onto the ground. I drew in a chestful of the wide open air and let it out as I stared up at the goddess¡¯s residence.

    Perhaps I shouldn¡¯t be in an undignified sprawl so close to Her home, but I had made it through on my own. I had made it and it wasn''t like I had a lot left that could be taken from me.

    I started to shake as some of the adrenaline and fear I had repressed in the tunnel swept up to break through my wavering focus. I let them run their course. There wasn¡¯t anyone on the balconies to see. Nor did I like the idea of what was likely to happen if I stayed as strained as I had been since the trial. I didn¡¯t need to be truly kicked out of the Seedling Palace so soon after I earned my place again.

    Once the shakes died away¡ªalong with the incredibly idiotic urge to scream at the goddess to come out of Her home and deny me healing to my face¡ªI got up and started looking for the stone. There wasn¡¯t a whole lot of places to look given that the platform was a wide, flat area with a railing, but I made sure to make to check that there wasn¡¯t anything dangling off the edge or otherwise hidden along the perimeter. I also searched around the staircase entrance and found nothing before methodically do a sweep, back and forth, across the entire platform.

    I found a few errant twigs, pine needles, and not a whole lot else. No stones, no hidden entrances or exits so I wouldn¡¯t have to go back up the stairs. Apparently, looking upon the goddess¡¯s residence and possibly sighting one of it¡¯s inhabitants was supposed to be the only treasure here. Which made sense even if I didn¡¯t like it.

    That left the library to check.

    I eyed the staircase and decided that it would best to give the others a bit more time to clear out above. From what Prevna had mentioned when I was getting cleaned up the night before, training with Jin would be starting back up again. I wasn¡¯t sure if she had meant today or the next day, but either way I was glad I was expected to keep clear of the training platform rather than make my way to it.

    I put my back to the railing and the view. Perhaps I could rest a bit before I made my way back up. I¡¯d probably do a better job searching the library if I felt a little more rested.

    I didn¡¯t think my eyes had been closed long when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I sat up straighter and did my best to look busy by inspecting my sling.

    One person I expected. The other I didn¡¯t.

    Dera hurried out of the staircase with the pine cone lantern in hand. She seemed to deflate a little when she saw me. Prevna followed a little behind her, not in such an obvious hurry, and leaned against the lip of the covered staircase with her arms crossed. She also lifted her eyebrows at me. It felt like an odd cross of her checking in with me while also warning me off from saying anything mean.

    I nearly rolled my eyes, but even I couldn¡¯t deny that the lantern would be a welcome addition to the trip back up the stairs. So I drew in a breath full of patience and civility and asked, ¡°Did you need something?¡±

    Dera slowed to a halt in the middle of the platform, tucked some hair behind her ear instead of looking at me directly. ¡°Oh, well¡­I¡ªwe¡ª¡±

    Prevna rescued her. ¡°She was worried you might have fallen again. Last time you stormed off it didn¡¯t go so well.¡±

    Oh.

    I blinked, caught off guard. Part of me was offended that she thought I was so inept that I would make the same mistake twice while the rest of me was having trouble reconciling the idea that she might care enough to come after me. I mean I knew she had cried before because she apparently felt responsible for the fall and I guess I had stormed off this time shortly after she tried to be helpful, though that had been because of Loclen more than her¡­

    From the look on her face she hadn¡¯t seen it that way. And Prevna was clearly expecting me to comfort her. Why, I couldn¡¯t guess, when it had gone pretty poorly the last time. I was still trying to come up with something to say when Dera spoke up.

    ¡°Prevna said you probably just needed space, but I¡­wanted to make sure. When you weren¡¯t in the net or garden she said you were probably here, so we got the lantern and came here¡­¡± her explanation ran out of steam.

    It took an effort of will to let her second insinuation that I would have fallen slide by before I tried to offer her a tight smile in return. I think it turned out more like a grimace. ¡°Didn¡¯t quite make it that far.¡±

    There. That was something. I shot Prevna a look. I could have just kept staring Dera down until she left.

    Prevna rolled her eyes and pushed off the foliage she was leaning against with her shoulder. ¡°Ready to go back up then? If we hurry, Dera and I can make it to training in time.¡±

    I could tell she wasn¡¯t exactly thrilled to have lessons with Jin again, but it did provide a ready excuse for this awkward meeting not to drag on too long.

    I tucked my sling back into my belt and nodded. ¡°I was about to go back up. I didn¡¯t find the last stone.¡±

    Dera hesitated and then pointed out, ¡°We already checked down here and didn¡¯t find anything.¡±

    I got to my feet. ¡°I know.¡±

    There was beat of silence and then Prevna got things moving again. ¡°Dera, can you lead with the light? Gimley and I will follow behind you.¡±

    She agreed and then it was time for me to set myself against the memories again. Traveling with the light made for a different experience, if not entirely better. On one hand, we climbed the stairs a lot quicker than I had made my way down since we didn¡¯t have to feel for every step, but, on the other hand, I could see exactly how little space there was in the tunnel. Prevna kept close to me and I knew she was checking for whatever signs Fellen had told her about.

    I did my best to keep my breathing even and my focus on the stairs.

    Dera pointed out the wall area in the middle of the staircase with the holes for the stones, but I didn¡¯t do much more than glance at it despite its importance. They needed to get to training and I wanted out.

    It didn¡¯t take much longer after that for me to get my wish. Prevna and Dera left the pine cone lantern with me and I watched them head off in the direction of the garden. I knew better than to follow them to its edge. I wasn¡¯t ready for that yet.

    Instead, I turned my attention in the other direction and set off towards the hidden library, only making a quick stop at the bench with my supplies to drop off the lantern and eat my untouched breakfast.

    Entering the nested library turned out to be a comfort I didn¡¯t know I needed. Seeing the dangling stacks of scrolls, the warm light, all the knowledge I could still learn¡­it helped. Clara didn¡¯t say anything from her spot in the open space in the middle of the library, but she did take a break from the scroll she was reading long enough to nudge Shawsh with her foot. The old man was still working on the scene from Flickermark I had described for him. He didn¡¯t react to her foot nudge as he stayed bent over the piece.

    A long suffering look came over Clara¡¯s face and she jostled him harder with her foot. ¡°Didn¡¯t you want to show Gimley the progress you made?¡±

    Shawsh slowly lifted his head, blinked at her, caught sight of me, and then grinned broadly. ¡°You¡¯re here!¡±

    I did my best not to sigh. Some things didn¡¯t change.

 Book 2 - Ch. 66: Library Search

    Shawsh pulled me into a long, detailed, and one-sided conversation about his work that I couldn¡¯t help but feel I had to listen to if I wanted to keep reading through scrolls in his library. His sculpture was beautiful. I focused my attention more on it, so that his enthusiastic stream of words didn¡¯t grate so much in the background.

    Six rivers of multi hued blue water flowed over the lip of a perfectly circular hole and into darkness. Shawsh had fitted half a sphere of smooth clay under the floor of the cavern to block the view of where the rivers would have flowed to as well as give him easy space to attach supports to the rounded sculpture. The top of the sculpture was covered in a abstract, delicate dome that hinted at the top of the cavern and the night sky that had hung there. It swirled around with tiny painted stars and openings so that the viewer could see the scene inside.

    Not everything was as I had described it, however. Rather than the hidden pathway down to the entrance with the Beloved¡¯s statues that ran along the side of the hole, Shawsh had changed it to a staircase that marched across the expanse of the hole to an obvious entrance on the other side. No statues flanked the entrance either. Only the twin watching eyes carved over the entrance remained.

    When I interrupted him to point the changes out, Shawsh¡¯s excitement settled into a more distant, quiet mood. ¡°Didn¡¯t want to give away Her secrets to anyone who looks on, so I took a few artistic liberties.¡± He indicated the space lacking statues. ¡°And it¡¯s best not to make the Beloved¡¯s likeness without Her permission.¡±

    I could understand that. Better the changes than the goddess¡¯s anger even if I hadn¡¯t told him where the cavern was in the Flickermark or how Fellen and I had found it. This way if anyone saw his work and then stumbled into the cavern they would have to still find the hidden path themselves.

    Not sure what else to say, I nodded slowly before complimenting him. ¡°The rivers are really realistic.¡±

    The comment felt weird on my tongue, but I felt like I should offer him something after how how excited he had been to show me his work¡ªand I wanted to make sure I stayed on his good side.

    Shawsh grinned. ¡°Good! Good. Clara helped me get the colors just right, and I still need to do a few touch ups here and there on the dome, but I¡¯m glad you like it.¡±

    I nodded again, a little awkward. ¡°I should keep looking now.¡±

    ¡°Oh, of course! What were you looking to read?¡±

    I held out a hand to stop him as he made to get up. ¡°Not reading today. I need to find the last stone.¡±

    Clara let out a sigh full of exasperation and peered at me around her scroll. ¡°The others already looked. What makes you think it¡¯s here?¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°This is the last significant place in the Seed Landing where a stone hasn¡¯t been found. It has to be here.¡±

    She rolled her eyes and focused back on her scroll. ¡°Be quiet about it. Shawsh and I could hardly focus with the way they were scrambling around last time.¡±

    I scowled at her and got up to start my search in the back of the library. I worked my way from section to section. Checking the floor, walls, cords holding the scrolls, and the scrolls themselves. I was also careful about checking the pedestals holding Shawsh¡¯s creations, but as far as I could tell he hadn¡¯t stuck a stone into any of his works. It was slow work, slower than checking the viewing platform had been with all the extra things I needed to look over. I did my best to peer at the scrolls that were out of my reach, but I wasn¡¯t ready to ask Shawsh to look for me, if he was even willing to help, and part of me didn¡¯t want to believe that whoever had hidden the stones would have put them where we couldn¡¯t get to them. Even the one under the thin paths had been reachable, if idiotically placed.

    By the time I was about halfway through the library it was time for the midday meal. When I looked over to check on Shawsh and Clara I saw that the other girl was gone. I didn¡¯t like that I hadn¡¯t heard her leave, but when she returned a little while later I realized why.

    Clara stepped from one of the shadows in the library holding two bowls of soup and flat bread. She ignored my slight surprise as she handed Shawsh his portion of the food. I had known she was probably using the shadow paths to travel to the library, but it was one thing to know that and another to see the mystical paths used for something as mundane as meal retrieval. It also made me wonder if familiarity with a certain shadows or places helped with accuracy, given how she had been a little bit off when she had helped take us through the shadows for the game of Hunter¡¯s Quarry.

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    Seeing the soup also reminded me of my own growing hunger, so I left the library to go finish off the food Wren had brought that morning. Sitting on bench in the sunlight as I staved off my hunger also helped to curb my growing frustration. I didn¡¯t like that I hadn¡¯t found a single stone so far just as I didn¡¯t want to think about what would happen if I didn¡¯t find anything in the library. Trapped without anywhere else significant to look.

    I shook the ugly thought out of my head. I had already spent more than enough time today spiraling through unhelpful thoughts. One way or another that stone would be found. It was just a matter of time.

    When I returned to the library, Shawsh was checking over his collection and I shot him a dark look that he didn¡¯t seem to notice. He was going through the areas I had already gone through looking for the stone, but I knew I hadn¡¯t damaged a single scroll. Clara was also doing something new. Rather than reading a scroll or drawing on her tablet she seemed to be working her way through different stances for hand to hand fighting, like the stretching poses Rawley had taught me. It was the most active I had ever seen her.

    I went back to methodically working my way through the library though I had to step around Clara when I went to check middle open area for the sake of being thorough. She didn¡¯t make any allowances for my presence other than sharing an annoyed look with me when she stepped into my space to complete one of her forms. I was tempted to trip her, but thought better of it with Shawsh¡¯s newest sculpture so near.

    I looked until I reached the front entrance, until the sun was setting outside and I had gone over every inch of the library that I could think of. Shawsh assured me that there wasn¡¯t a stone hidden in the scrolls overhead or in the ceiling; Chirp had already been sent to look even if the old librarian didn¡¯t appreciate having a bird in his library. I had checked all five areas of the library from the ancient texts to the fighting section to the scrolls with the Named and the failures, and I had found nothing. Not even an errant, misshapen stone.

    And I had nowhere else to look.

    I pressed my lips tight together to hold back a growl of frustration. The others could still search the rest of the Seed Landing, but I was stuck where I was unless I could suddenly pretend that the garden meant nothing to me¡ªwhich I didn¡¯t have the stomach for yet.

    I could comb back over the library and the viewing platform, the shrine and the paths between, make sure I hadn¡¯t missed anything, and I would, but I didn¡¯t have to like the tediousness of it. I left the pair alone so I didn¡¯t have to look at the place of my most recent failure. I¡¯d need to return soon, for something distracting to read, if nothing else, but for now it was more pressing to get some distance from the place.

    I strode up the ramp from the library, across the gathering space, and down the path that led back the area with the bench and my things. Only to find Prevna opposite of the bench chipping off ice from one of the ice vines to refill her water pouch. She shifted to see me when I stumbled to a halt.

    She rested a hip against the railing. ¡°Find anything?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± My tone was harsher than I meant it to be.

    She didn¡¯t flinch. Instead, Prevna gestured to a new small new package sitting on the bench.

    ¡°Food¡¯s there.¡± She gave me a long look, up and down. ¡°Do you want me to stay or go?¡±

    I didn¡¯t really want company but I also knew that if I was left on my own I would only brood which wouldn¡¯t accomplish anything. And I needed to accomplish something, anything to distract from the lack of what I normally had.

    ¡°Your choice.¡±

    That knowing, somewhat smug smile brightened her face even if it didn¡¯t reach her eyes as much as it normally did. ¡°As if you could do without me.¡±

    I moved to sit on the bench and scowled at her. ¡°I¡¯m fine on my own.¡±

    She pushed off the railing and settled down next to me, plucking the bundle of food I had just picked up out of my hands. ¡°Who brought this again?¡±

    I didn¡¯t deign to answer that trap of a question and instead grabbed the food back. She didn¡¯t try very hard to fend me off. After I got the cord that was keeping the bundle closed untied I asked her, ¡°Where do you think the last marble is?¡±

    Prevna leaned back on her hands so that she could stare up at the pine needles overhead as she thought. ¡°The library makes the most sense, but none of us have found one there, so unless someone found it and is keeping it hidden, it was probably hidden somewhere else. Maybe in one of the pine needle beds or this ice vine area?¡±

    She gave me a side long look.

    I started to eat the food she had brought. ¡°I didn¡¯t just mean on this side of the Seed Landing.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°It seems we already found marbles in pretty much all of the important places on the other side. I guess that two marbles could have been hidden in one place but that doesn¡¯t line up with what was found so far.¡±

    I gave her a small nod. ¡°I¡¯ll look in the needle beds tomorrow. The lighting isn¡¯t good enough now.¡±

    Prevna stayed until I finished eating what she had brought and then she gathered up the dishes and cloth from the morning with the bowl and covering from this evening.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take these back to the cooks.¡±

    I watched her leave before I worked on my weapons training in an attempt to make myself exhausted so that I would sleep better than I had the night before. Tomorrow I could search through the pine needle bed benches and along this whole branch for the stone. Perhaps by the time I found it the others would have Andhi convinced to use her stone with the ones we already found so we could open the hidden passageway right away. Or someone else would find the final stone.

    I stabbed my spear into the air with more force than necessary. I¡¯d find the final stone. I didn¡¯t want others to be able to point out that I had no part in my advancement to becoming a Sprout. I¡¯d find the stone and we¡¯d put them in their spots before drinking from the shadows. It was only a matter of time.

 Book 2 - Ch. 67: Final Piece

    Weeks passed and I found nothing. Not in the pine needle beds or the ice vine area or any other storming part of the Seed Landing I could reach without having to lay eyes on the garden. I even went as far as combing over the path leading to it, with my back to the garden and my gaze pointedly fixed on what was right in front of me, so I wouldn¡¯t have another pointless breakdown. The second time I went over the library Clara nearly kicked me out for ¡°disturbing their work¡± though I kept quiet and she was only reading a scroll, like she always was. Shawsh stopped her but also made a point that he would appreciate it if I only came in to get reading materials for awhile.

    I went over every mind numbing inch of that side of our area that I could reach at least twice and¡­nothing. Nothing. The others kept up their search in the garden and beyond, but they also found nothing and no one would admit to keeping the last stone secret. We even double checked the recesses in the tunnel wall to make sure the number of stones we needed had been counted correctly.

    They had been.

    So, now everyone, even Wren and Dera, were getting irritated or sullen. It didn¡¯t help that there was another game of Hunter¡¯s Quarry that the others lost again to the Sprouts. I wasn¡¯t allowed to participate, but, given the fact that I had no desire to test crossing the garden again and running through one of Jin¡¯s illusions would give her the perfect opportunity to manipulate the situation, I wasn¡¯t entirely put out about the exclusion. Besides, I was used to self study rather than trying to work with a group.

    I kept up my training as well as I could between my searches. From weapons and endurance training to reading through scrolls from the library to working on logic puzzles and expanding my knowledge about the whisper women and other important topics. I didn¡¯t need to pretend to work on improving my reading and writing of the basic characters anymore and the loss of the teamwork exercises were more a relief than anything else.

    Somewhere in that my naming day passed by. Normally, it was a Grandmother¡¯s job to count the days from the warming winds and the first storm of the cold season and remind tribe members when their naming day was approaching. I didn¡¯t have Grandmother to remind me and I had never spared much attention to keep track of the count myself, but I knew my naming day was within the first month of the warm season. It always occurred shortly after we returned to Gabbler Shore from Grislander¡¯s Maw.

    So, when I judged it to be around the right time, I offered up a prayer to the goddess to thank her for letting me survive another year, though it came out a little awkward because I couldn¡¯t be absolutely certain that She had ignored me this past year like I had in the past. If anything, between Flickermark and Yolanda¡¯s judgment during the trial, I could confidently say that I hadn¡¯t passed beneath Her notice. Which was terrifying in its own right and made the traditional naming day prayer mostly useless, but I said it anyway because all the things I actually wanted to say wouldn¡¯t have helped and skipping over the prayer could earn Her ire as well.

    Sometimes, Prevna brought Wren, Loclen, and Dera to eat with us or Juniper and her group would come and do some extra training with me. Breck would join in on the training as well. I doubted that they liked my company, though I did do my best to keep my temper from flaring as easily as it wanted to. Apparently, Juniper had been mildly impressed with the drills and scenario training I had molded after Rawley¡¯s training when we were preparing to kill the crawler.

    I wasn¡¯t the most enthused about the joint training, but from my time on the shore I knew it was a necessary evil. Coordination in a fight made things go smoother than if we all reacted without a thought.

    It also helped that Clara actually left the library to put a time limit on the training. The widest space we had access to on that side of the landing, other than the viewing platform, was the platform with the cushions that housed the library. So that¡¯s what we used since practicing in front of the goddess¡¯s residence didn¡¯t seem like the smartest of choices. I doubted She reacted well to having anything less than perfection within easy reach.

    Clara and Shawsh didn¡¯t appreciate the occasional thump that could be heard through the library¡¯s ceiling, but they also didn¡¯t ban us from practicing there. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because they weren¡¯t allowed to or if they had somehow learned about my situation and pitied me. I didn¡¯t like the second option, but I also didn¡¯t press the issue. I needed something to distract from the lack both with the search and otherwise, and physical training helped.

    Clara left the library twice to come up and watch us. Each time that set Idra off. She didn¡¯t like the competition from Hunter¡¯s Quarry gaining more insight into our skills, which was understandable until you remembered that we couldn¡¯t do anything too complicated on the landing and that we shifted to our most basic routines when she was there. Idra still tried to provoke her and get her to leave until Clara casually leaned forward and turned her tunic a garish, harsh orange that hurt the eyes. I doubted any self respecting whisper woman would deign to wear the color if they could even make the dye for it.

    ¡°Your hair is next if you don¡¯t shut up. I don¡¯t care about that game.¡±

    Juniper stepped out of her practice stance to face down the older seedling. ¡°Why watch us then?¡±

    ¡°I was bored.¡±

    Idra was still taking in her ruined tunic when Ento stepped up next to her. She looked from the orange tunic to Clara. ¡°Will you take the color back if she leaves you alone?¡±

    Clara rolled her eyes. ¡°Maybe tomorrow.¡±

    Then she strolled back down the path to the library and I was stuck with seeing the group the next day as well.

    Clara did change Idra¡¯s tunic back to its normal faded brown color. Three days later.

    As our searches kept coming up empty and everyone got more tense the joint meals and practices became more infrequent. I enjoyed the renewed solitude even if I didn¡¯t appreciate its cause. Speculation that someone was hiding a stone was starting to run rampant and arguments were easier to fall into than ever.

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    Part of me wanted to believe the speculation and blame Ulo¡¯s group, but it was difficult to come up with a reason why they would want to stall their training any more than anyone else. I didn¡¯t think any of them were stupid enough to impede their own progress just be contrary.

    It seemed, however, that others didn¡¯t give me the same benefit of the doubt. Prevna let me know that Ulo was pushing the idea that I was hiding the stone just to be contrary and Andhi and Nii were backing her on it. Some of the others were wavering on the precipice of believing it too.

    Wren laid down a handful of hints during the latest meal that if the last stone just happened to appear sometime soon no one would ask questions why it hadn¡¯t come up sooner. Dera gave me few worried and apologetic glances in turn. Idra made a few sharp comments and Breck asked me straight out if I was hiding it.

    Frankly, I was insulted.

    I knew I hadn¡¯t earned a whole lot of trust from any of the groups, but the fact that they thought I could be stupid enough to hide the one thing that would let me progress was incredibly idiotic. All I had was becoming a whisper woman; why would I do something that at best delayed that outcome or, at worst, made us all fail? They could fail, but I refused to.

    That said, I didn¡¯t exactly hold back my tongue when confronted with their insinuations and questions. That last meal ended with Dera looking shocked and nearly in tears, Chirp pecking at me while Wren lost her usual cool and glared, and Prevna so exasperated I wasn¡¯t sure what she would do.

    I hadn¡¯t gone nearly as far as I had with Fellen¡ªI didn¡¯t quite have the insight into them to do so yet, even if I wanted to. Instead, it was the sort of jabs I had used on the twins when they were being insufferable and I needed them to shut up. The others did shut up.

    They also left. Even Prevna, though she gave me the kind of look that said we would be revisiting this moment when I wouldn¡¯t snap at her for speaking.

    My meals for the next three days were left for me to find at the shrine and no one came to join in on my practice sessions. All in all the quiet helped as long as I kept my mind distracted from anything related to healing. Even though I knew I should be working on getting closer to the others there were times when I had to admit there was something comforting in not holding back my tongue and getting the space I needed. If they were smart, they would be able to get past disliking me when it came time to put the stones in the wall.

    Prevna found me on the third night. It wasn¡¯t difficult. I was back at the shrine after being unable to fall asleep, debating whether I should make another plea to the goddess or not.

    I kept my gaze on the tree carving as she settled cross legged next to the offering bowl. ¡°I¡¯m not going to apologize.¡±

    I didn¡¯t see her roll her eyes, but I could swear I felt it. ¡°Why? From one horror to another.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°If you all really think I¡¯d be dumb enough to ruin my chances just to ruin yours then you don¡¯t deserve it.¡±

    Prevna leaned her head back against the wall of the shrine¡¯s alcove. ¡°You don¡¯t have the best track record.¡±

    I frowned. ¡°I¡¯ve never done that.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡± Her easy admission took me off guard. ¡°But you also make it really easy to blame you.¡±

    ¡°Do you blame me?¡±

    For some inexplicable reason she chuckled before answering. ¡°I should. But I don¡¯t think you¡¯re hiding the stone anywhere. You¡¯re pushing yourself too hard for that.¡±

    I pressed my lips together to hold back a retort about the fact that she didn¡¯t know me well enough to know if I was pushing myself hard or not.

    After a short silence she added, ¡°I¡¯m not going to be able to keep bringing them back if you keep pushing them away.¡±

    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t need them.¡± That retort couldn¡¯t stay behind closed lips.

    She didn¡¯t bother to comment. We both knew that the use of shouldn¡¯t rather than don¡¯t was more of an admission than I was willing to admit.

    Prevna pricked her finger with her prayer needle and let the blood drop into the bowl. After a handful of seconds the blood wisped away and she got to her feet. ¡°Have you thought about what the rumors will mean if you do find the stone?¡±

    I glared at the offering bowl that had failed to communicate any of my prayers. ¡°They¡¯ll think I was hiding it.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°It might be best if someone else finds it then.¡±

    My shoulders tightened at what she was suggesting but I made an affirming noise so that she knew I understood what she was suggesting. ¡°Probably best if it wasn¡¯t you either. They might think I just passed it to you to avoid suspicion.¡±

    ¡°If you hadn¡¯t pissed Wren off Chirp would probably be the best bet since he¡¯s found so many already.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll figure it out if I find the stone.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    She let me know she¡¯d be back in the morning, just her, and left not long after that. I kept staring at the storming offering bowl. I pricked my mark with my prayer needle and dropped a couple drops into the bowl, making a quick prayer the stone would be found soon. The blood didn¡¯t flake away.

    I nearly spat out a few choice words about its favoritism and had to hold back the urge to kick an object linked to the goddess. I gave it my best scowl instead and resolved not to give it any attention in the following days. It wasn¡¯t the only thing good at ignoring people¡¯s wishes.

    - -

    Inspiration and irritation struck the next morning. I was in front of the covered stairway trying to psych myself up to search the dark stairs again. I had managed before¡ªbarely¡ªwith the pine cone lantern but it hadn¡¯t been my most thorough search and I taken the better part of that day to get convince myself to brave the stairs again to get back up from the viewing platform.

    The pine needles brushed against the statue¡¯s hand and blocked my sight from the trial beyond. The covering was only an inch thick, at most, but it did an admirable job of hiding the trial beyond as well the spot on the statue¡¯s hand that the stone had been stuck to. It didn¡¯t look like it would hide anything significant when it had hidden our first piece to the puzzle as well as helped block the light from revealing where the stones were supposed to go. Not to mention the viewing platform and the goddess¡¯s residence beyond.

    Something so simple hiding so many important things. The only other pine needle screens blocked the view of the garden from the thin paths and the library.

    That was the moment I felt as incredibly dumb as everyone was accusing me of being.

    What if they hid more?

    I started to run.

    I couldn¡¯t check the screen that hid the garden but the one that hid the library was easy to reach. And no one had found anything in the library yet while a stone had been found in the garden.

    I had checked the library twice over, but each time I had stopped when I reached the entrance. When I checked the rest of the platform I had started on the path beyond. It was a simple, terrible oversight because the pine needles didn¡¯t seem thick enough to hide anything significant and the walls had been smooth.

    I should have known better.

    It didn¡¯t take long before I was stumbling to halt at the library¡¯s entrance and frantically reaching into the pine needles. Nothing at first, nothing that I wouldn''t have felt brushing in and out of the needles time after time. Then I reached up and started to look through the top of the entrance. Just to be thorough, just to be sure.

    And I found a tightly wound bundle of pine needles, no bigger than a knuckle, tied to a handful of the hanging pine needles. I ripped it off and peeled the bound needles off of the object inside.

    The last stone sat in the palm of my hand.

    I cursed.

 Book 2 - Ch. 68: Martial Diplomacy

    Loclen rolled the smoky gray stone in between her fingers before looking up at me and Prevna. Her expression had become more suspicious than relieved and excited. ¡°Why me?¡±

    Prevna settled back onto her cushion on the landing above the library. ¡°You¡¯re tall, so you could have accidentally run into or seen where the stone was hidden. You¡¯ve already found two stones so it wouldn¡¯t be odd for you to find another one and you go to the library more than the rest of us, other than Gimley.¡±

    ¡°You think that no one will suspect me of hiding the stone unlike you.¡± Loclen glanced toward me.

    I drew in a calming breath. ¡°If they do it¡¯ll be a lot easier to dissuade them from the idea than if I claimed finding the stone.¡±

    ¡°But you did.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    Loclen rolled the stone between her hands some more, considering our proposal. By the time Prevna arrived on my side of the Seed Landing to deliver my next meal I had determined she was the best target. Ulo and her group would likely still suspect something if I asked Prevna, Dera, or Wren to pass off the stone¡¯s discovery as their own. The others would think I could strong arm them into accepting the deal and they didn¡¯t spend enough time in or around the library to make the discovery realistic. The amount of time they came to eat with me though would make the connection pretty easy to draw.

    Choosing Loclen also had that same trouble, but it wasn¡¯t a secret that she seemed to feel a kind of rivalry with me. That could be leveraged to point towards the fact that she wouldn¡¯t agree to a deal with me. I thought she still would, however, because she was ambitious and smart enough to recognize the importance of becoming Sprouts and gaining our first boon as soon as possible.

    I decided against Breck because she didn¡¯t seem like the type who would take well to being asked to take credit for someone else¡¯s accomplishment. Juniper and her group weren¡¯t in the running either because the younger girl always seemed to have her own secret plan that I couldn¡¯t trust and, even if I did trust her, I couldn¡¯t trust that Idra wouldn¡¯t get it in her head to be difficult and spill the truth. Ento was another unknown quantity. They were together enough that the risk wasn¡¯t worth it.

    Loclen reached out and dropped the stone in space between us. It bounced once and then rolled a little before coming to rest. ¡°No.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together in consternation. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    She cut me off. ¡°I¡¯m not going to place myself in a position again where you can shove me out of the playing field only for you to run out a short while later. I don¡¯t need the threat of someone finding out the truth hanging over my head or to be at your mercy. I¡¯m not so lacking in accomplishments that I need to take credit for yours.¡±

    Frustration boiled in my stomach but what I couldn¡¯t shove down I used to bolster my focus. If I had learned anything in my childhood when it came persuasion it was that words did nothing if you flung them around without any concern for who you were talking to. Everyone had their hooks; you just had pay close enough attention to use them. I wasn¡¯t always the best at keeping my temper in check to pick my words, but sometimes twisting a hook enough to hurt was just as good as using it to pull someone to your side of an argument.

    Loclen was still bitter about how the first game of Hunter¡¯s Quarry had played out and she didn¡¯t want to owe me anything. She didn¡¯t want to be thought of as incompetent.

    I could understand that. I could use it.

    The words hurt to say but I made myself say them anyway. ¡°I would owe the favor, not you. You¡¯re the one who can pull this off the best that¡¯s why I decided to approach you. Don¡¯t you want to reach the next stage of training as soon as possible?¡±

    Loclen paused from where she had been starting to rise to glare at me. ¡°Your favors aren¡¯t worth much.¡± I don¡¯t think she meant to add the next part because it came out with a venom that even seemed to surprise her. ¡°And you still aren¡¯t taking me seriously. If I see anyone else claiming credit for the stone I¡¯ll let everyone know the truth. Deal with this yourself.¡±

    ¡°What happened to the importance of working together to become better whisper women?¡± I spat.

    She finished standing up. ¡°I thought you could take care of yourself? We can work together when you stop looking down your nose at everybody as tools you can use.¡± Loclen turned to Prevna. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you hang around her so much. It can¡¯t be pleasant.¡±

    Prevna shrugged and smiled wryly. ¡°She¡¯s an acquired taste.¡±

    Loclen let out a derisive snort and swept away back toward to the garden.

    I growled down at the offending stone. ¡°Why¡¯d she even come eat with us so much if that¡¯s what she thought?¡±

    Prevna gave me a look somewhere between concern and amusement. ¡°You¡¯re not the only one at those meals.¡± She let that small, needling point sink in before adding, ¡°I think she did want to be your friend though. She spent a while looking for you that time you missed morning practice. Probably why it hurt more each it time you dismissed her.¡±

    I crossed my arms, feeling stubborn. ¡°I didn¡¯t dismiss her.¡±

    Prevna burst out laughing. More loudly than I thought was strictly necessary. ¡°You dismiss everyone.¡±

    ¡°You keep coming back.¡±

    Prevna just gave me a look that said we both knew that she shouldn¡¯t be used as an example of typical behavior.

    After a short silence I accused, ¡°You¡¯re the one who said I should have someone else take credit for the stone.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d picked Loclen.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t say anything before you went to go get her.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t think she¡¯d react that badly either.¡±

    I rubbed my forehead. ¡°So what now?¡±

    Prevna shrugged again. ¡°Take credit. Things¡¯ll only go worse if you don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯ll think I hid it.¡±

    Prevna bumped my shoulder with her own. ¡°So convince them that you didn¡¯t. Or that it doesn¡¯t matter or challenge Ulo to some competition and beat her. Nii and Andhi will probably follow her lead and she¡¯s too honor bound to go against a promise.¡±

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    I picked up the gray stone and glared at it. ¡°This isn¡¯t going to go well.¡±

    Prevna rolled her eyes and got up. ¡°Positive thoughts.¡±

    ¡°Do you think Ulo would agree to a contest to see who can recite a story more accurately?¡±

    ¡°You should probably work on your spearwork.¡±

    I sighed and got up as well, knowing she was right.

    - -

    Wren and Prevna spread the word that the last stone had been found and got everyone gathered together on the wide landing above the library the next day during their lunch break. Apparently, Ulo had tried to push for having the meeting at the usual tiered seating spot so I wouldn¡¯t be included, but enough of the others thought that it was more practical to have the meeting closer to where we would need to go that the new location won out.

    We all stood or sat in our own separate groups. Ulo, Nii and Andhi kept close to the path leading back to the rest of the Seed Landing. All standing. Juniper, Ento, and Idra were off to their right keeping a close counsel but all seated on cushions. Breck stood near them, but not quite close enough enough to be counted among their group. Wren, Loclen, and Dera sat across from them.

    Loclen was purposefully ignoring me while Dera kept shooting me uncertain glances. Chirp twittered from Wren¡¯s shoulder and she rubbed his head. Prevna and I kept near the hidden path down to the library. She was lounging on a cushion while I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to sit down despite the fact that I knew it would make me look more relaxed and confident.

    Once everyone was a settled as they were going to get, and had finished eating the quick meal they had brought from the cooking area, Wren took center stage.

    When she spoke, she did her best not to keep her back on anyone for too long. ¡°We all know why we are gathered here. The last stone has been found, so now we just have to agree to work together so that we can see what is hidden on the other side of the staircase wall.¡± She shot a pointed look at me and then Ulo as she talked about working together before she continued on, ¡°If you have a stone show it now so we can confirm that we have the right number.¡±

    I pulled out the clear stone that Juniper had given me and the gray stone with as much indifference as I could muster. Andhi pulled out her stone across the way at the same time. It glinted a bright magenta in the sunlight. Breck got her onyx stone out and held it out proudly. It took Wren, Dera, and Loclen longer to get their hoard where everyone could see them.

    Twelve stones and twelve of us. The numbers were on point if their theory was correct.

    ¡°Why does she have two?¡± Ulo¡¯s voice snapped out across the platform.

    Juniper tilted her head slightly to the side. ¡°She earned the one we found. The better question might be why you have none?¡±

    I blinked. I hadn¡¯t expected Juniper to start the argument off.

    Ulo crossed her arms. ¡°We were diligent with our training.¡±

    Idra snickered. ¡°Funny that wouldn¡¯t have been worth much without the stones everyone else found.¡±

    Ulo glared her. Idra pretended not to notice.

    Wren quickly drew everyone¡¯s attention again as she and Dera started handing stones out.

    ¡°There¡¯s no point in fighting. Everyone needs to hold a stone in place for this to work and we all want to earn our first boon right?¡±

    I handed the clear stone to Prevna who took it with a nod of recognition to Juniper. Ulo stood stiffly with the stone that Wren had made her take. ¡°We don¡¯t know if that¡¯s what this is for.¡±

    Prevna grinned at her. ¡°Find another puzzle spanning the landing and not tell us about it?¡±

    Nii stepped forward. ¡°No, but that doesn¡¯t mean this is for that.¡±

    I held back my comment that it certainly narrowed down the possibilities while Prevna kept up her casual air. ¡°Only one way to find out.¡±

    Ulo pointed at me. ¡°I¡¯m not doing anything that involves her. She probably hid the last stone until now.¡±

    ¡°For what?¡± The question burst from my lips. ¡°Why I would waste my time hiding a stone when I couldn¡¯t move on without all of them being found? Why would I wait until yesterday to reveal it?¡±

    Ulo¡¯s hand clenched around her stone. ¡°You tell us. You¡¯re life ridden, lazy degenerate who causes problems for everyone.¡±

    Well, it hadn¡¯t taken long to get to the heart of the problem. I glowered at her. ¡°I¡¯m not the one causing problems right now. I¡¯m quite fine with placing my stone in the wall with everyone else.¡±

    Ulo looked like she wanted to kill me. While that wasn¡¯t possible, I couldn¡¯t say that the possibility of knocking her out didn¡¯t have a certain ring to it.

    She said, ¡°You¡¯re hiding something. There¡¯s something in it for you.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help laughing at that. ¡°There¡¯s something in it for everyone. Unless you don¡¯t want to move up the ranks? I¡¯ll show you the way to the scroll for those who have failed out if you want to add your name to it.¡±

    ¡°I challenge you.¡± Ulo¡¯s free hand was feeling for a spear that wasn¡¯t there. ¡°If I beat you in a fight then you have to the leave the Seedling Palace. You don¡¯t deserve to be here.¡±

    I was careful to make sure only flippant disrespect showed on my face. ¡°As if you have the authority to make that happen.¡±

    ¡°Jin does.¡±

    The storming bitch. ¡°Fine. If I win you and your little cohort will place your stones in the wall without a word of complaint and you¡¯ll get down on your hands and knees and apologize to me.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t anywhere near equal in terms of punishment but I knew Ulo was too proud take my demand calmly and I needed every advantage I could in a fight. I wasn¡¯t terrible, but I doubted I had as much sheer practice as my opponent.

    Ulo charged me.

    Neither of us had spears. I had been careful to leave mine near the bench so that she couldn¡¯t use it as an excuse to get hers. I tossed Prevna the gray stone and went low. I slammed into Ulo¡¯s gut before she had a chance to punch me. The air went out of her as she was slammed a second time against the ground and I tried to gain control of her arms.

    She had the advantage in reach and height and sheer dedication to physical activities. I had the advantage of surprise and initiative. I didn¡¯t intend to lose it.

    Ulo struggled to get out from under me. One of her elbows clipped me in the shoulder as I pinned her other arm against her side with my leg. She kneed me in the thigh. I headbutted her in face.

    Her head lolled for a moment and I forced myself to ignore the blooming pain from my own forehead to flip her over with goal to pin her down with a knee in her back. She got me with her elbow again once she was on her side. Across the cheek this time.

    I punched her back.

    That gave her the time she needed to shove me off her and get up, panting. I got back to my feet a second later. Just in time for her to kick me in the side. I staggered but didn¡¯t fall and went to grapple her again.

    More punches, more elbows. She stomped on my foot. I got a hold of her hair. Yanking viciously to the side I took her back down to the ground. It might not have been fair but it was effective. I kneed her in the side and her defense crumpled further. I did it again before I managed to pin her to the ground. She struggled to get free, so I snatched at the hand she was trying to claw me with and wretched it back at an angle I knew would hurt.

    ¡°Give up or we see how far back your arm can go.¡±

    She growled. She tried to twist free. I pressed her head further into the hard wood of the platform and pulled her hand closer towards me. We stayed like for several long moments as Ulo gritted her teeth against the pain. It was only when I started to pull further that she gave in.

    ¡°Stop. I give up. I¡ª¡±

    I let go of her and got up. I didn¡¯t need to hear whatever else she had to say. My face and torso throbbed with pain from her blows but it was nowhere near as bad as when I had fallen from the thin paths. I could ignore it.

    Ulo took longer getting up, Andhi rushing over to her. Ulo waved her off. She faced me, still on her knees before bowing her head in my direction. Ulo didn¡¯t lower her eyes and they were furious but she still bit out the words. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    It sounded more like a threat than anything else but I didn¡¯t press the situation further by making her do it again. She was likely too proud to bear that and we still needed to get the stones in place. The vindictive satisfaction from knowing I had won would have to be enough.

    Really, I was little surprised at how well I had done. Granted, if Ulo had been thinking straight or considered me a bigger threat when it came to fighting, it likely wouldn¡¯t have gone nearly so well, but I would take what I could get.

    Prevna handed me my stone back.

    I looked around the various groups then. ¡°Ready to go? Or does someone else want to try their luck?¡±

    Prevna stood next to me and slung an arm across my shoulders. ¡°I think a boon from the goddess is more pressing than testing your fighting skills, Gimley.¡±

    Breck looked over from where she was already heading toward the path that led to the stairs.

    ¡°Maybe next time.¡±

    Everyone else followed her lead. Wren and Dera made sure that they, at least, were between me and Ulo¡¯s group as we all headed toward the covered stairs.

 Book 2 - Ch. 69: Gathering Black

    Walking down the covered staircase with the whole cohort was an odd experience. Breck led the way with the pine cone lantern while Prevna and I followed a few steps behind the rest. On one hand, the slide of the light through the narrow space and the crowd in front of me was eerily similar to traveling through Flickermark¡¯s exit tunnel. On the other, that same light revealed that I wasn¡¯t in that horrid place or with my tribe.

    Still, I had to keep focused to make sure I didn¡¯t panic and slip into any memories. Prevna stayed close as well. Presumably to help pull me out of it, which wasn¡¯t always possible until I realized what was happening, or to cover for me if she couldn¡¯t. I let her keep the position despite the twist of tension that came with it and my resolve to deal with this particular issue on my own. I had traveled down the stairs on my own before and had been fine. It would be the same now.

    I concentrated on each step downward. No one spoke. The usual chatter within groups shut down with the significance of what we were about to earn. Better to be quiet and respectful on the way to earn the goddess¡¯s boon even if I had to fight Ulo to get us going.

    The patch of wall with the inlets for the stones wasn¡¯t remarkable at first glance. Branches twisted in and around themselves to make the wall, same as everywhere else on this annoying pathway. Look a little longer, however, and the twists and knots of wood were no longer a chaotic mess. Some of them formed eyes, with holes in the middle perfectly sized for the stones we carried. Others connected the eyes together so that each one punctuated the point of a branch of a pine tree.

    Idra considered the design. ¡°Does it matter where the stones go?¡±

    Dera spoke up, ¡°I-I don¡¯t think so.¡±

    Andhi shrugged. ¡°Let¡¯s just try it out and if it doesn¡¯t work we can try a different order.¡±

    Idra looked tempted to make a snappish comment at her, but Ento tapped her on the back and she subsided. I was still tempted to make my own observation about how interesting it was that she was eager to get this over with now when it had been her group holding everyone up, though.

    Wren broke into the conversation before I could say anything. ¡°It didn¡¯t matter where we put the stones before. As long as we gave them a drop of blood they glowed. We just couldn¡¯t do it twice.¡±

    Chirp twittered to accentuate her words.

    Andhi smiled a smile at Wren that she would never direct my way and nodded. ¡°Do you want to go first then?¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Wren answered and slipped past Ulo and Nii to stand in front of the symbol. She also got Dera to step up and start the process with her since they had found this spot together.

    That, at least, was better than anyone from Ulo¡¯s group going first or taking charge. I didn¡¯t know why Andhi was suddenly involving herself in getting things going but I didn¡¯t like it. She and the others had caused enough trouble as it was.

    Wren and Dera pricked their marks and swiped a bead of blood across their stones before slotting them into two spots on the left side. A silver gray glow immediately began to shine out from behind the stones. The pair pulled back and the stones stayed in place despite looking like they should roll out of their sockets.

    One by one the others stepped forward to add their bloodied stones to the wall, Juniper and her group leading the way. Breck made eye contact with me as she placed her stone. I gave her a small nod of acknowledgment. Ulo moved quick and sharp when she went to add her stone, the look on her face daring someone to challenge her. The challenge itself was tempting, but I wasn¡¯t keen to start another fistfight. Not when she would probably win this time around and we were so close to getting something much more important.

    It didn¡¯t take long until Prevna and I were the only ones that still needed to place our stones. I took a long, deep breath as Prevna pressed forward through the group and then followed after her. The rest of the cohort moved out our way as best they could on the narrow staircase, though Nii had to give Ulo a meaningful look and draw her backward before they were out of the way.

    I unhooked the flap on my left thigh and pricked one of the diamonds that made up my mark before smearing the drop of blood over my stone. My gray stone settled into the wall and was followed quickly by Prevna¡¯s clear stone. Both began to glow.

    Then the silver gray light began to expand. Sliding behind the entirety of the eyes and tree to outline them all in a soft glow. The pine cone lamp went out as the tree¡¯s shadow stretched to cover all of us to some degree.

    And then I was falling. As if I had been pulled into the shadow paths, but there were no whisper women here to take me with her, to direct our path. I flailed but there was nothing to grab onto to stop my fall.

    Soft needles and poking twigs broke my fall. I shoved myself up to my knees immediately to get my bearings and¡ªfroze. Like at Flickermark, like at the Seedling Palace, the goddess¡¯s work made me unable to do anything but stare in awe.

    I had landed on a large pine tree that pressed up from the oil slick ground I recognized from the shadow paths. The pine tree was pressed flat, closer to the symbol that had connected the eyes together than one of the natural ones I was used to. The tree stretched all along the ground until its base and roots met the tree of darkness and shadow. That tree rose proudly up and up, deep black branches and needles brushed by a nonexistent wind. It was like the living tree and shadow had swapped positions.

    Where the two trees met a statue of the Beloved stood, stark white as the tapper she had shoved into the shadow tree¡¯s side. Black liquid, so dark it seemed to suck in light, poured steadily from the spout and onto her waiting hand before streaming over the living tree¡¯s roots. The statue had her other hand pressed against the trunk of the shadow tree, bracing herself, while she twisted to look in our direction. An inviting smile on her already black lips.

    The swirling mists of the shadow paths blocked out the horizon in every direction except for where it thinned out to cling to the shadow tree like clusters of pine cones. Stars glittered brightly between the unnatural tree¡¯s branches.

    Dimly, I realized the rest of the cohort was spread around me as they began to stir and stop in awe to gaze at the scene all around us. I stood on the uneven branches and tried to get my mind to focus as they all gawked. This wasn¡¯t the first time I had seen one of the goddess¡¯s miracles and I doubted it would be the last as I continued on the path of becoming a whisper woman.

    Surely there was more to this than walking up the Beloved¡¯s statue and taking what she offered? Would the goddess really make one of her boons so easy to obtain?

    ¡°Chirp isn¡¯t here!¡± Wren¡¯s voice cut through my thoughts.

    ¡°He didn¡¯t make an offering,¡± Juniper said. ¡°He¡¯s probably still on the stairs.¡±

    Wren groaned. ¡°He isn¡¯t going to like being left out.¡±

    Loclen rolled her eyes. ¡°He¡¯s a bird, Wren. Birds don¡¯t get blessings.¡±

    ¡°He could have been the first.¡±

    Loclen snorted and the conversation died away.

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    Breck started making her way toward the statue and I was quick to follow her. Better to get a closer look than stand around dumbfounded at our sudden change in surroundings. Better too than worrying about how we were supposed to get out of here when we didn¡¯t even have the boon yet.

    The statue was similar to the ones I had seen before though the color change for her lips was new. All the other statues had been monochrome, but perhaps it was supposed to be hint for particularly idiotic seedlings?

    Prevna came up behind me and leaned at little bit against my shoulder as she peered at the scene in front of us. ¡°That tree is even more creepy up close. Do you think we¡¯re supposed to give it an offering?¡±

    ¡°The goddess should get one at the very least.¡± I shrugged my shoulders and Prevna got the hint as she let her weight slide off of me. ¡°And you shouldn¡¯t call Her creations creepy.¡±

    Prevna gave me a sidelong look. ¡°I don¡¯t the goddess cares about my opinion.¡±

    Breck pointed to the hand the statue had pressed against the shadowy tree as the rest of the cohort caught up. ¡°Tree takes it for the goddess.¡±

    I peered closer to where she had pointed. A thin line dribbled down the Beloved¡¯s forearm from the bottom of her palm. No color distinguished it from the rest of the statue and I had to privately praise Breck¡¯s sharp eyes. If the statue had been anything other than the goddess¡¯s work it could have been easily dismissed as an oversight of the maker but the goddess didn¡¯t make mistakes. Her gaze was too omniscient.

    Juniper, Andhi, Nii, Loclen, and Wren spent a long while hashing out what our prayer should be since just an offering of blood felt too lackluster. I kept out of it even though leaving the decision in someone else¡¯s hands rankled. I didn¡¯t want another case of the unexpected trial in Flickermark.

    I spent the time looking over our fantastical surroundings. How the roots of the shadow and living trees twisted together, always side by side, like the living tree really was the shadow cast by the other even though there didn¡¯t seem to be a strong enough light to make a shadow. I didn¡¯t take too long examining the Beloved¡¯s statue in case the goddess got annoyed with my attention before I turned my attention to the mists around us. It really did look like we were somewhere in the shadow paths even though the mists didn¡¯t press as close as they had during my previous trips through them. When I walked up to the mists¡¯ edge they seemed to puff up and thicken where I stepped close, pushing back when I tried to push through. I frowned at the odd sensation and tried again with my hands but the mists didn¡¯t let me get even an inch into their depths.

    ¡°Looks like the goddess doesn¡¯t trust us not to get lost.¡±

    Idra tossed a pebble up before catching it and launching it into the mists in front of us. It sailed forward without even a hint of a barrier impeding its path before I lost track of the stone in the mists.

    I didn¡¯t really want to talk to her but I doubted she had come my way if she had nothing to say. I raised my eyebrows at her. ¡°Something to say?¡±

    She gestured toward where the pebble had disappeared. ¡°Thought I did.¡±

    I waited and Idra paused after pretending like she was going to saunter away. ¡°Good job doing what needed to be done. I would have finished it if you hadn¡¯t.¡±

    It didn¡¯t take a genius to know what she was talking about. ¡°I can fight my own fights.¡±

    Idra rolled her eyes and muttered something I couldn¡¯t catch before she spoke louder. ¡°Leave some excitement for the rest of us.¡±

    ¡°Get to it faster than me then.¡± I smirked.

    She glared at me, huffed, and then started wandering back toward Ento. I kept testing the mist barrier a bit longer, just because it was something to do, until Wren gathered us all back together next to the two trees. As far as I could tell there weren¡¯t any other puzzles for us to solve unless we could make our way through the mist once we drank the shadows.

    It didn¡¯t take us long to learn the prayer that had been decided on. After much debate, short and too point had been picked as our best bet. It took us longer to all get situated around the tree so we could press our palms to it at the same time. Ulo grumbled and was overruled when she tried to insist we didn¡¯t need to offer the prayer at the same time. Perhaps we didn¡¯t but after how the colored stones worked we didn¡¯t want to take any unnecessary chances.

    We all pricked our marks and smeared the blood on a palm before Wren counted us down to say the prayer.

    ¡°We gift this blood to the goddess in thanks for the great boon She grants us. May it grant Her strength.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t see the others beyond the statue next to me, but Prevna stood on my other side and we pressed our hands against the shadow tree at the same time. It was smooth and cool and sent a thrill of unexplained fear down my back as soon as I touched it. Then it moved and I snatched my hand back in time to see my blood get swallowed into the shadow.

    I swallowed hard and locked terrified gazes with Prevna before we scrambled back. A few of the others had cried out in alarm and it turned out everyone had the same disturbing experience. The blood hadn¡¯t crumbled to dust but we hedged that the tree taking meant our offering had been accepted. No one, not even Breck or Nii, were particularly keen on putting their hand against the tree again.

    We inspected the spout and black liquid and the area around again but nothing seemed to have changed. The trees didn¡¯t reverse position, the mists didn¡¯t open, the spout nor its pitch black liquid did so much as change color.

    Surprisingly, Loclen was the one who first started to insist that we might as well drink from the spout now. ¡°I don¡¯t want learn what happens when we spend too much time in here.¡±

    She got to stick her hands under the Beloved¡¯s first because of that. Not wanting to seem intimidated, I went next and I didn¡¯t miss the way she shuddered when the liquid shadow touched her hands. Still, I kept any hesitation out of my step when I followed her and placed my own cupped hands beneath the flow.

    It was lighter than it looked but also oddly dense. Sort of like holding an armful of sheep¡¯s wool or fluffy snow. It also felt similar to the tree we had just gifted our blood too: smooth and cool and just a little bit undefinable.

    Pressing my lips together at the hair raising sensation, I carefully stepped through the uneven roots and out of Juniper¡¯s way so that she could get the next handful. None of us really wanted to do so much together, but it had been decided that since we had done the stones and the prayer together we might as well do this last step together as well. Better safe than sorry.

    After all, half of Jin¡¯s spiel had been about getting us to work together. She might have been a terrible mentor but didn¡¯t mean we could ignore absolutely everything she had said.

    Part of me just wanted to slide my hands apart and let the liquid shadow fall through while I waited. The rest of me chided that foolish part and made sure I kept my hands together.

    A bitter smile strained my lips.

    Ambition is nothing without discipline, indeed.

    I had planned on drinking the shadows since I was nine years old. I might not have been able to picture how odd it felt to hold liquid shadow in my hands at the time, but I storming well wasn¡¯t going to let a bit of discomfort ruin my chances at becoming a whisper woman now. Not when I was so close.

    I might not like how well her lessons had ingrained themselves in me, but for now that one at the very least was serving its purpose. I could be disciplined, especially if it meant gaining something she could never even dream of having. She might get the plants and treatments and beads and be willing to throw them away if she thought she could have been anything else, but I would have the shadows and the main mark of a whisper woman.

    I could have something outside of the healer¡¯s gifts. It wouldn¡¯t be solely my own, but the number of whisper women was likely lower than the number of healers. It would be rare and useful and serve me better as a whisper woman. Perhaps walking the shadows wasn¡¯t the boon I wanted the most but, when I couldn¡¯t have what I wanted, it certainly made a difference from having nothing interesting to focus on.

    One by one the others got their handful of liquid shadow and joined me and Loclen in making a circle next to the living tree. Breck, Loclen, Ento, and I seemed the most eager to drink after we got over the initial sensation. Prevna seemed hesitant. She had touched her gray lips as she waited for Dera to fill her cupped hands. Still, she stepped forward when it was her turn.

    Dera, Idra, Andhi, and Wren were also somewhat hesitant and hid it with varying degrees of success. Juniper, Nii, and Andhi gave off an air of determination more than anything else. Like this was a task they might not particular enjoy, but they were going to complete it perfectly anyway.

    Finally, the last member of the cohort completed the circle. Wren lifted her cupped hands in the air. ¡°For the goddess!¡±

    We echoed her, ¡°For the goddess!¡±

    And I brought the liquid shadow to my lips and drank.

    Sharp daggers of ice stabbed at my lips and throat as the shadow slid down. Not as cold as when I had been frozen, but close. So very, very close. I gasped and collapsed to my knees. Thumps around me told me that others had done the same.

    It burned. And at the same it felt like I had drank sticky oil that refused to go down all the way no matter how I swallowed. I tried to touch my lips before snatching my hand back with a hiss as the touch sent a new spike of pain through the sensitive skin.

    I don¡¯t know how long I knelt there doing what I could to breathe through the fire and ice and cloying wetness, but at some distant point I realized I could sense the ground under me and the shadow tree in a way that my other senses couldn¡¯t account for.

    They felt like gateways. Like if I just pressed hard enough and focused I could slip right through. To where I didn¡¯t know, but I knew what the sensation meant.

    My lips, no doubt finally as dark as the goddess¡¯s own, smiled in pure victory.

    I had gained the goddess¡¯s first boon.

    -- End of Book Two --

 Book 3 - Ch. 1: Shadow Practice

    It didn¡¯t take me long to realize the reason why the goddess¡¯s first boon had been relatively easy to obtain after the cohort and I found the colored stones. Mastering it was not simple.

    I pushed myself up off the ground, spitting out the taste of grass, and glared at the pine tree whose branches I was sitting under. Behind me I could hear the others getting instruction from the older Sprouts and Saplings that had been sent along to instruct them on the training grounds. The shadows in the Seedling Palace were apparently too strong and too many for beginners to easily practice in and not get lost or overwhelmed or appear from the underside of a branch.

    So now we were here, across First Shore Lake, in a circle of pines that didn¡¯t have branches hundreds of feet off the ground but that were still goddess grown so that their shadows stood out from the regular trees. I could feel the difference in them now that I had the boon. The shadows of the goddess grown pines felt like light weight door coverings, easily brushed aside and stepped into. The shadows of the other pines that I could sense in my very limited range felt more barred depending on how deep or the light the shadow was, how big they were. I doubted I had much of a chance of stepping into a medium or light shadow right now. Or even a small dark shadow. Too many layers of coverings knotted close, to keep with the comparison, and I didn¡¯t have the precision to undo them.

    As was proven by the fact that I kept ending up sprawled out under my tree. I gritted my teeth.

    In theory, the exercise was simple. Step into the shadow paths and step back out close to where you entered. In theory, shadow walking was simple. Step into the shadow paths, find the shadow you wanted to exit from, focus on it, reach it, and step out again.

    That was without adding in all the storming variables.

    After we had been pulled out of the space where we had drunk shadow and placed back on the covered stairs, Mishtaw had found me. She didn¡¯t have long before she had to go on some new mission, but she spent an hour trying to explain and demonstrate shadow walking to me. I had been dazed from gaining the boon and¡­overwhelmed, but I committed everything she had said into a special spot in my memory tent.

    Now, two months later, I was the only one who still bit the grass or occasionally fell from the bottom of a branch when stepping out of shadow. Even Ulo was regularly stepping out of the shadowed trunk of her tree or ground now. I wanted to glower at her but instead I kept my eyes firmly on my own tree. Better not to acknowledge her.

    Prevna tried to help, but she was still learning too even if she was near the top of the cohort when it came to how quickly she was taking to the boon. Her and Dera and Loclen. Apparently, there was some similarities between how the shadows felt to them and different aspects of their boons. Prevna said that stepping into the shadows felt a little like when she drew in poison, but she was the poison now.

    I got all the way up and drew in a long, calming breath of warm air. They had mentors, even if they weren¡¯t full whisper women. I didn¡¯t. I would prove that I could do this in spite of that.

    The tree¡¯s shadow underneath me felt full of possibility. A gateway just waiting to be opened. I focused my intent, pictured stepping into the shadow paths, and brought my heel down against the ground. It broke through the shadow and then I was falling. Disorientation pulled at me, but it wasn¡¯t as bad as when I tried to leave the shadow paths so I managed to land in a crouch.

    Swirling smoke surrounded me in various shades from deep black to ash gray to bright silver and the ground was a highly reflective and slick surface, like dark oil, but it wasn¡¯t wet. I didn¡¯t like coming into the shadow paths alone; not that I could bring anyone else along. One of the warnings Mishtaw had kept repeating was the danger of getting lost in the mist. That if you went alone only you could get yourself out again and if you brought in someone without a boon and got separated from them, they weren¡¯t getting out again.

    The shadow paths weren¡¯t a physical enough space that they could be mapped out and searched. Mishtaw had me enter the shadows of the Seedling Palace, just once, on my own. She entered the same shadow as me at the same time. I didn¡¯t see her in the shadow paths, didn¡¯t sense her presence. The pull of the mass of shadows around me however¡­I had kicked my way out as fast as I could and ended up way on the other end of the shadow from where I started.

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    This time I focused on sensing the shadow I had come through and pushing my awareness of the shadows in the circle aside. It was a deep black shadow, strong in the stark sunlight and with the barest, tiniest smidgen of the goddess¡¯s power. A gateway that was easy enough to walk through.

    I stepped to the side in the direction I remembered the trunk of the tree being. I pictured stepping out of the shadow there with my foot landing solidly on the ground. As easy as stepping through a tent flap.

    I brought my heel down on the reflective floor and focused on my intent to step through. The ground cracked and then I was falling again, falling up, before I felt my leg break through the shadow. I tried to step down on the ground that should be there, but there was only air. Squashing down panic, I reached forward with a growl and pulled myself the rest of the way through.

    Out of the end of shadowed ground furthest from the trunk of the tree.

    I cursed.

    I never ended up where I wanted to be. The only good thing about exiting out of the same shadow I entered was that I didn¡¯t have to worry about appearing out of some random shadow. I always ended up somewhere in the borders of the tree¡¯s shadow even if it was nowhere near where I intended. Which was why the exercise I was still attempting was the absolute first step of beginner training. The Sprouts and Saplings didn¡¯t want to have to search out the nearby forest for errant trainees.

    The trouble the Sprouts had when they brought us to the game of Hunter¡¯s Quarry also made a lot more sense now. Between the long, deep shadows of the Seedling Palace and the difficulty I was having with even one shadow, I got irritated just thinking about how difficult that relatively straightforward passage must have been, especially with hanger ons. I didn¡¯t even have the range for it yet.

    Rather than make another fruitless attempt at shadow walking so soon after the last one, I focused my attention on the others and tried to figure out what I was missing based on their attempts.

    Prevna, Dera, and Loclen were to the point where their mentors were having them get used to stepping vertically. Or that was the goal at least. They only managed to step out onto an upper branch of their respective trees a third of the time and on the correct side.

    Dera screamed as she appeared out of the bottom of a shadowed branch and had to catch herself on the branch below her. Old instincts urged me to run over and check that her arms were properly in their sockets, treat the inevitable bruising, but I ruthlessly pushed them down. That wasn¡¯t an option anymore.

    Her mentor helped her down before she started to lecture her on what went wrong. I wished I was close enough to hear, but walking halfway across the ring of trees wouldn¡¯t be subtle and the older seedlings all got quiet when they noticed I was near. No one wanted to accidentally break the ruling that said I wasn¡¯t allowed to have a mentor other than Mishtaw.

    The others in the cohort were all doing fairly well, though Ento and Ulo were doing barely better than me. They didn¡¯t end up flat on their backs or belly, but I could tell they weren¡¯t appearing where their mentors were instructing them to. Neither seemed to be taking it well, though Ento held in her frustration better than the other.

    My gaze was drawn over to where Chirp was twittering at Wren a few trees down. She was leaning up against her tree, taking a break, while she talked to the bird. The black lips fit her best. On the rest of us I thought they looked a little wrong. Like we hadn¡¯t grown into them yet, but her easy confidence made the new coloring fit as if she had gained something that was always meant to be there.

    Wren caught me looking and raised her eyebrows. Cursing internally, I quickly looked away and focused my attention on Prevna instead. I didn¡¯t need a fluttering stomach as another distraction.

    By the time the training session was over the sun was high in the sky and the fire starters in the near by camp had delicious smells floating by on the wind. I got up from my latest attempt at shadow walking as the others began to head towards the midday meal. It only took a handful of steps before Prevna had settled into her customary place near my side. Sometimes it caught me off guard how used I had gotten to her being in my space that I flinched from that, rather than her actual proximity.

    Prevna gave me a side long look. ¡°Any better today?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°You¡¯ll get there. Do you want to practice again tonight?¡±

    I nodded sharply.

    After the midday meal the others still had their regular training to do. Endurance and weapons practice, writing and reading, strategy and teamwork and tactics. I did my own training too, but I couldn¡¯t do it with the others, so I generally had to fit what I was doing around their schedule or find a random spot on the other side of the camp. I liked to use the actual training equipment when I could, however, so I generally moved to the fighting grounds once they were done and had moved onto the other lessons.

    I couldn¡¯t train on everything they did, of course; teamwork was a little difficult to train on my own even if I was glad I wasn¡¯t forced into it anymore. Still, Juniper and her group and Breck still came to spar and practice with me sometimes in the evening when I wasn¡¯t trying to perfect the first shadow walking lesson.

    We ate and then I watched the others head for the targets on the far side of the small tent camp before I turned and began my own routine. I refused to fall behind even if I didn¡¯t have a mentor.

 Book 3 - Ch. 2: Step by Step

    The lake glittered under the cloudless sky as I ran along its edge. Despite the uneven footing, I purposely ran on the red sand. I didn¡¯t doubt that we would face the fish again in the future and it was better to get used to the terrain while I had the chance even if it stole endurance like nothing else I had run on.

    After the beach I wove my way through the trees toward a spur of rock I discovered during my first round of solo training here. The trees were more of a loose spun woodland here than a proper forest. The sunlight easily reached between the branches to touch on the riot of color that made up the ground cover now that we were nearly to the last quarter of the warm season. A dozen different shades of red¡ªfrom crimson to burgundy¡ªwith little splashes of yellow and purple to highlight the false fire sprawling into the distance. I recognized a handful of the mosses, grasses, and shrubs making up the colorful display, but the area around Gabbler Shore Lake and the Folds didn¡¯t have as many color changing plants as the varieties around here.

    I ignored the part of me that wanted to stop and collect, to inspect the unknown plants. That knowledge wasn¡¯t helpful to me even if I couldn¡¯t help but start to list out the properties of the plants I did recognize in my head.

    Instead I drew in the light, fresh air through my shadow black lips and took cold comfort in the knowledge that while she would be leaving on the seasonal run soon, the same as always with nothing to show for another year gone, I was learning new paths she could never follow. Perhaps I would show Fellen or Rawley the shadow paths one day, but not her.

    Rough stone pressed against my palm as I reached a large spur of rock that rose above the woodland. It was cracked through on one side where it looked like about a third of the stone had broken away. That piece, sheer and sharp, pointed away from the remaining rock like it was trying to get as far away from it as possible. The broken stone hadn¡¯t made it very far though since the crevice between the two looked just big enough for me to fit sliding sideways if I had any inclination to try fitting in such a small space.

    I climbed the larger rock. It was more worn and pitted with far easier hand and footholds than what Rawley had me climb in Gabbler Shore. The spur of stone had nothing on the Seedling Palace, but there was something refreshing about climbing up and getting a good vantage point to see the surrounding area.

    From here I could see our camp and the unnatural ring of pines in the distance along with the lake blocking everything to the north. The woodland continued to spread out to the east and got thicker in that direction and the south. A few rivers and streams wound through the trees to feed the lake, but I only had to jump across one slim stream to reach the stone spur. I kept an eye out for anything odd, but nothing disturbed the quiet, peaceful atmosphere.

    After awhile I made my way back down the rock and set off back for the camp. If I had timed things rights I should arrive back at the camp just as the others were leaving the fighting training grounds.

    My calculations were correct. Prevna gave me one of her knowing smiles as the group walked away toward their next training session. She was saying something to Juniper at the same time and the younger girl glanced to the side to see what had caught her attention. She lifted her chin in acknowledgment when she saw me and I grudgingly acknowledged them back.

    Then it was time to continue working on my physical skills. I started with the stretches that Rawley had taught me before moving on to my spearwork. I didn¡¯t know any fancy moves, but Rawley had made sure I knew the basics and I had continued to work on them after arriving at the Seedling Palace. While I hadn¡¯t actually used my spear to fight much during my time on the shore, that little bit had shown me how important it was to have the moves you knew so drilled into you that you didn¡¯t have to think about them. Better reaction time and more room to process what was happening around me.

    I didn¡¯t have that instinctual fluidity to my attack and defense yet, but I was determined to get there. I didn¡¯t waste time deluding myself that I could become the level of fighter Breck, Ento, and Nii had the potential to become, but I was determined to at least be competent. That meant repetition upon repetition past the point that my arms shook from the weight of the spear and my legs wanted to sink down onto ground.

    After I finished practicing with my spear I took a break to stretch again and drink from my water pouch. Once I felt somewhat recovered I did the entire practice over again with my knife. The spear couldn¡¯t be the only weapon I was competent in. After knife practice came practice with my sling. I liked to finish with it because it was the weapon I was most familiar with, but it was also the one that would do the least good if someone decided to rush me. Better to increase my skills with the others more than have nothing to fall back if I wasn¡¯t able to take my opponent down with the sling.

    By the time I finished my weapon training the others had finished their own endurance training and were more than halfway through practicing their writing skills. Prevna had told me that even though the endless lessons continued it was nice to have mentors that actually answered questions even if they hadn¡¯t learned everything themselves yet.

    I grabbed my spare clothes from my tent and went to bathe in the lake. As I slipped into the water I made sure to stay near the edge. I wasn¡¯t used to being intimidated by a lake, not with being from a waterhole tribe, but the sheer expanse of First Shore Lake was eerily similar to the ocean. Even if it was calmer and the sand was red instead of yellow.

    Still, the cold water did its job and I was running through strategic scenarios with stones, grass, and a few errant twigs when Prevna found me. She had her own bundle of spare clothes under her arm.

    I glanced at the sun. It was getting close to setting. ¡°You¡¯re not worried about missing the evening meal?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°There¡¯ll be some left for us.¡±

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    ¡°Who said I¡¯d wait for you?¡±

    She gave me a look that both gave me a threatening reminder of who had brought me my meals when I was trapped on the wrong side of the garden, and that was quietly exasperated. Even without the reminder she knew I would wait, just like I knew that she knew that.

    I had waited every other night she decided to bathe before the evening meal, after all.

    I might like my solitude, but day after day of training on my own had somehow led me to sticking by Prevna when I had the excuse to. I would never admit it and she never outright mentioned it, but she wasn¡¯t above teasingly alluding to it sometimes.

    As she opened her mouth to make some sarcastic comment, I leaned over to the side and splashed water into her face. Well, I aimed for her face but the water only went as high as her belly.

    Prevna gasped in exaggerated outrage, dropped her slightly wet change of clothes, and swept both her hands through the water to soak me with a big wave. I retaliated with another splash. She got me again, and by the time we were done, panting on the shore, we were both soaked through in our clothes and my little practice scenario of stick and stones had been washed away.

    I might as well have not changed into my new clothes. Not with the way the wet wool scratched and itched. It would take forever to dry even near a fire. There was a reason we treated our cloaks to be water resistant.

    I glowered at Prevna and she grinned back. One of her bright, happy smiles that didn¡¯t hold a trace of her teasing wit. I blinked and looked away¡ªnever quite sure what to do when she looked at me like that.

    Prevna leaned closer and spoke conspiratorially, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, no one else knows that you¡¯re not entirely a wet blanket.¡±

    My glare snapped back into place. ¡°I¡¯m not a wet blanket!¡±

    Prevna snorted. ¡°Tell your tendency to grumble and glower that.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not my fault that people tend to be idiotic.¡±

    Her lips twisted into a wry smile. ¡°Doesn¡¯t mean that it doesn¡¯t lower the mood.¡±

    I grumbled, she chuckled, and then I went to change into my old clothes while she took a proper dip in the lake. My old clothes might be slightly sweaty, but at least they were dry and that was nearly always preferable over heavy, itching wet wool when I didn¡¯t have the rush of trying to beat an opponent to distract from the discomfort.

    Prevna didn¡¯t take the time to undo her hair and wash it properly; if she did there wouldn¡¯t be anything left of the evening meal for us to get to. I didn¡¯t miss the way she stilled whenever she caught the reflection of her lips in the water though. It always had the air of her catching sight of a stranger out of the corner of her eye, rather than the smug satisfaction I felt whenever I saw my own reflection.

    I didn¡¯t press her on it, just like she didn¡¯t truly press me about the fact that I waited for her. If she wanted to talk about it, she would, and until then there was little point in me pressing us both outside our comfort zones. I doubted I had much of anything helpful to say, regardless.

    After Prevna was finished and had changed into her very slightly damp clothes rather than her soaking ones we stopped by our tent to drape the wet clothes over top. The tents were small, only half again as big as the tiny huntress tent I had shared with Rawley during the seasonal run. Big enough for two people to sleep in with a hand span or so of space in between and that was all. It wasn¡¯t really surprising that no one else wanted to sleep with me, so Prevna had taken one for the team despite having a couple offers to share a tent elsewhere. If she hadn¡¯t, someone from the cohort would have been sleeping outside or three people would have been claustrophobically crushed into one tent. We had been allotted six tents for twelve people and that was that.

    Wren and Dera had ended up together while Ento had secured the spot in Juniper¡¯s tent. Ento and Idra had a surprisingly big fight over it which seemed to have settled down now. Idra had thrown her lot in with an uncaring Breck after that. I think Nii wanted to be in Ulo¡¯s tent, though I couldn¡¯t see the appeal, but she ended up with Loclen. She had also taken one for the team. Loclen and Andhi were even more hostile to each other now than they had been when we first all arrived at the Seedling Palace, and they would have ended up in the same tent if Nii hadn¡¯t switched. I¡¯d never say it out loud but I was mildly grateful that she had stopped the passive aggressive fights before they could begin. We already had enough tension in our little group without adding more and distractions weren¡¯t productive.

    Not that I was likely to ever be the one to ease those tensions.

    Prevna and I got our food from the fire starter still tending to the fire and settled down to eat. Andhi had been boisterously telling a tale to about half of the group, but she quieted down when she saw me. I hadn¡¯t really spoken to her since our first meeting, but apparently she had taken my insult to heart. I didn¡¯t entirely like seeing how long my words could hurt, but it did mean I had one less person I had to worry about getting too close, so I let it be.

    Wren took in our damp hair from where she sat nearby and grinned. ¡°Have a fun time at the lake?¡±

    Prevna smirked. ¡°Would you believe me if I said Gimley started a water fight?¡±

    I gave her the side eye for the small betrayal, but I didn¡¯t protest. That would make it look like I cared, and it didn¡¯t matter if the others knew I could have a bit of fun. It wasn¡¯t like I was planning on doing so with any of them.

    Idra butted into the conversation from our other side. ¡°What¡¯d you do to provoke her?¡±

    Prevna gave her a flat look at the obvious provocation. ¡°I don¡¯t know, what¡¯d you do to convince Ento you could use her as a pillow?¡±

    Idra nearly shot up at that from where she was sprawled out with her head on Ento¡¯s lap but Ento pressed her back down with one hand while she rolled her eyes. ¡°She asked nicely.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d like to think I did the same.¡± Prevna took another bite of her food and casually turned back to Wren. ¡°What did you end up doing?¡±

    Wren launched into a whole spiel of exploring a bit with Chirp while they tried to see if any other birds wanted to chat. She told us about at least half a dozen different birds that I quickly forgot, but the key bit of information was that the birds seemed more nervous than the ones Wren normally talked to. They weren¡¯t specific about why and she said that the birds she wasn¡¯t bonded to tended to be less aware and smart than Chirp. Chirp preened a bit at that and then it was time for me to practice my shadow walking again. The moon had risen enough to cast decently strong shadows.

    Prevna did what she could to coach me through my shadow walking attempts. I didn¡¯t improve much on what I had accomplished earlier that day, but I didn¡¯t bite the grass for once. Not that I expected to suddenly improve. Like with the weapons training, mastering shadow walking seemed to be more about dedicated repetitive practice. As long as I wasn¡¯t practicing wrong.

    We also worked on expanding our range to sense shadows. Prevna¡¯s mentor told her that was all about constantly pushing the boundaries of what shadows you could sense, including how strong shadows needed to be for you to sense them within your range and expanding the actual distance you could sense. Some whisper women focused on expanding their range so that they could sense strong shadows at extraordinary distances and travel to them in one go while others had more limited range but could step out of a shadow that barely darkened the ground.

    I wanted to be able to do both. I would be able to do both.

    Eventually.

    The moon was high in the sky before we returned to our tent to sleep and be rested to do the same routine the next day.

 Book 3 - Ch. 3: Preparations

    Training as usual didn¡¯t continue unhindered the next day. After we finished our shadow walking practice, the de facto leader of our group, Dera¡¯s mentor, stopped us from leaving the ring of pine trees. I hadn¡¯t bothered to learn her name given that she treated my presence in the camp as nearly nonexistent, but I thought the Sapling got her position because of her abilities with wind and shadow. She was the only one who had the range and control to communicate with those back in the Seedling Palace and the ability to travel there from our location in a single journey, if needed. A couple of the others who looked to be close to her age liked to remind her that they weren¡¯t far behind her in skill, but they also listened when she gave an order.

    I wasn¡¯t exactly keen on it, but we listened to her now. My cohort on one side facing her, and the mentors arrayed at her back.

    ¡°You have all grown your skill with the first boon. Good job completing the trial early into the warm season so that you could focus on it here. However, it is time for your first circuit. You have until the First Flurry to reach the Rookery.¡± Her jaw set as she scanned us. ¡°You will be split into two groups. Assignments are nonnegotiable.¡± I didn¡¯t like the sound of that as she gestured two groups of three forward. ¡°Each group will have a Sapling adviser, their fire starter, and a healer to keep debilitating wounds and losses to a minimum.¡±

    Wren¡¯s eyes went wide next to me. ¡°Seedlings have died during this trip?¡±

    The Sapling cut her a warning look for speaking out of turn, but still answered her question. ¡°When they got complacent or overconfident. These woods are regularly patrolled by the Beastwatchers, but bigger threats can still pop up between their rounds.¡± After a brief pause to let that sink in she finished her speech. ¡°Join your adviser when your name is called.¡±

    Prevna, Ento, Idra, Loclen, Andhi, and Dera went to the right. The rest of us joined the three on the left. It was immediately clear that all tent pairs had been split, likely in a ploy to force us to work with those we weren¡¯t as comfortable working with.

    That worked out better than our de facto leader could have bargained for. I could feel the tension rising as our normal groups were mostly scrambled. Ulo¡¯s glare pressed into the back of my head from where she stood off to the side of our new group, Nii standing stiffly beside her. Prevna gave me a disappointed glance from across the way and I acknowledged it while trying not to show how odd it would feel to be separated from her for a month.

    Ento and Idra had it the worst, however. As soon as they realized they were both going to be separated from Juniper they began to argue to have one of them switched to our group with an uncomfortable desperation.

    Our Sapling leader would have none of it. She cut through their overlapping arguments about duties and benefits with a curt, ¡°Assignments are nonnegotiable.¡±

    Juniper stepped forward. Her air of melancholy was stronger than it had been for a long while. ¡°They do not wish to break their oaths. Would you have them do so for such a simple exercise?¡±

    Our leader evaluated her from head to toe and seemed to find her wanting. ¡°Were these oaths to a higher ranking whisper woman? One of the Chosen? No? Then they have no place here.¡± She cast her voice out, so that she was no longer speaking to just Juniper. ¡°Whisper women are expected to act quickly and well to uphold the goddess¡¯s will. More often than not, you will not get to pick who you work with or the circumstances. I suggest you get used to being flexible now.¡±

    Idra opened her mouth to continue arguing but stopped when Juniper laid a quiet hand on her arm. Ento stood with her shoulders and fists clenched tight. After a tense heartbeat Idra snapped around to me.

    ¡°If something dangerous gets within five feet of her I expect you to get in the way. You at least won¡¯t die from it.¡±

    I crossed my arms and glowered back at her. ¡°I¡¯m not some meat shield for you to order around.¡±

    She drew herself up to her full height and looked down her prominent nose at me. ¡°If something happens I¡¯m blaming you.¡±

    ¡°Blame your coddling. If Juniper can¡¯t hold her own that¡¯s not my fault.¡±

    ¡°How dare¡ª¡±

    ¡°Leave it, Idra.¡± Juniper cut off the other girl. Then she drew in a deep breath. ¡°Go to your group. I¡¯m not so fragile that I¡¯ll perish just because I left your sight.¡±

    Idra looked ready to strangle someone but she did as she was told. Ento paused to murmur something in Juniper¡¯s ear before following her. Juniper stepped smoothly back to rejoin our group, but I thought I sensed an underlying tension to her stance that she didn¡¯t normally have. I had to fight not to roll my eyes. Of course she could face sea monsters with barely even a flinch, but now that she had been separated from her guards she felt threatened before we even left camp.

    With the spat over and done with, our new adviser led us to the edge of the pine trees closest to the lake while Prevna¡¯s group went to the opposite side. Everyone else was ordered to begin breaking down the camp.

    After we all settled onto the ground in the shade of a tree introductions began. Our adviser was a Sapling in her fifth year by the name of Fern. Which meant she had earned all of the goddess¡¯s boons and was supposedly strong enough to protect us if we needed it, but wasn¡¯t so indispensable that she couldn¡¯t be ordered to watch over a handful of new Sprouts for a month.

    Fern had shoulder length small curly black hair and skin a shade or two paler than Wren¡¯s pine cone colored skin. A straight nose, high cheekbones, green eyes, and bowed lips completed her elegant facial features. She didn¡¯t tell us what her blessing was, but her mark was a twisted knot of shapes on her left palm.

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    The fire starter and healer were both men. The fire starter was a wiry older man who had a kind of presence I was more used to associating with huntresses. A quiet, patient kind of stillness combined with precise movement. The healer was younger, somewhere around Fern¡¯s age, and excitable and nervous. Based on the single diamonds marking the back of his hands he wasn¡¯t a full black handed healer yet. Most likely this was one of the last stages he had to complete before earning his full marks. Like with Fern, knowledgeable enough to be helpful but not so skilled yet to be placed somewhere more important. Their names were Colm and Sid.

    Wren gave Fern an easy smile. ¡°Where is the Rookery?¡±

    ¡°Our group will start out heading east, the other group going south. I suggest you look for large birds. I can¡¯t tell you anymore than that. You¡¯re expected to find your own way there,¡± Fern answered.

    So it was likely somewhere to the southeast unless they were starting us off in the completely wrong direction. Wren brightened at the mention of large birds while Chirp twittered at her huffily. She rubbed his chest feathers and he settled down.

    Breck looked bored with the whole situation but she still asked, ¡°What is the Rookery?¡±

    I wanted to know as well. None of the myths that I could remember had mentioned any place by the name. If we were purposefully being sent there it likely had some connection to the whisper women or the next step in our training.

    Fern gently cut one hand through the air before turning it palm up. ¡°A place with large birds. You¡¯ll see when you find it.¡±

    None of us liked that answer but it was also clear that was all we were going to get. We had to find the location with little direction and little information. The whisper women apparently shared the goddess¡¯s favorite type of challenge. I doubted that the Rookery was actually so far away that it would take a month to travel to. Likely, it was closer, but we would need time to search the forest.

    Fern spoke again, ¡°You will get to make most of the decisions on this trip. I will only step in under dire circumstances. I suggest that you gather supplies and decide whether we leave today or tomorrow.¡±

    She didn¡¯t say it, but it was also clear that we needed to pick a leader for our little band if she wasn¡¯t going to take charge most of the time. The idea of being leader was somewhat appealing, but mostly I refused to follow Ulo¡¯s lead. The other girl would likely try to use the authority to try to grind me under her heel and that could only end badly. From the look in her eyes, Ulo had similar thoughts concerning me.

    If I was the leader I would likely have to interact with her more than I was willing to as well. If Ulo or I were the leader of this group we would likely break it apart and make it nearly impossible to complete the mission. Which left Juniper or Wren as potential leaders. Breck was too independent to be an option and Nii would likely end up being leader in name only with Ulo really making the calls.

    Wren would likely be the better option to keep things civil, but I thought that Juniper was better at making the tough calls quickly. Juniper also had practice in really leading while Wren was more skilled at making sure she was liked.

    I put my weight behind Juniper to become leader after pushing my own position just enough that the others couldn¡¯t view me as a pushover. Naturally, that meant Ulo and Nii pushed for Wren to become our leader. We bickered for a while longer until Wren broke in to give the position to Juniper, saying that she would make a better navigator than leader. Juniper graciously accepted and then stopped the meeting for us to take a break and go get a late midday meal.

    Which is when we realized that there weren''t any good smells wafting from that direction and that most of the camp was gone. Only ten tents still stood in the area and the remains of the cook fire. Our six tents, and presumably the others belonged to the advisers with their fire starters and the healers. Six bags of various preserved foods also sat off to the side. Three for us and three for Prevna¡¯s group. The rest of what we ate would have to be supplemented with what we caught and gathered along the way.

    True practical learning.

    Both groups decided to leave the next day and use the afternoon to gather and hunt what we could in the surrounding area. Hopefully the delay now would mean less delays later. It also gave us the excuse to drift back into our normal groups for just a little longer.

    Ulo went spear fishing in the lake with Andhi and Nii. I wasn¡¯t sure that the other two had much experience with the exercise, but Ulo was irritatingly good at it and could stay under for absurd lengths of time with her blessing to breathe underwater.

    I set traps with Prevna as we also gathered edible plants and berries that we recognized. I also marked the traps as best as I could, so if anyone was idiotic enough to disturb one that was on them.

    Breck went out hunting on her own while Juniper, Ento, and Idra did some gathering of their own as they scouted out the different directions we would be going in. Dera and Loclen were left to work out the logistics of how both groups would split and carry the supplies with the understanding that we would push back if they gave their group all the better stuff.

    By the time we needed to start preparing for the evening meal we were all extremely hungry, but we had a lot to show for our efforts. Ulo¡¯s group had more fish than I cared to count prepared and drying in the sunlight. Another hour and it¡¯d be sunset. I had caught a handful of small animals in my traps and Prevna and I added to the separate piles of roots, berries, and other parts of gathered plants. Breck lugged in a small wild elk and a pouch full of bird eggs.

    Chirp twittered at her for that, but Wren calmed him down and said that as long as they weren¡¯t wren eggs he would be fine. Breck shrugged and said that they weren¡¯t.

    Colm set about making our dinner while the other group¡¯s fire starter, a heavyset woman, set about preserving the meat Breck had brought. We ate well that night.

    I wanted to go to the spur of rock, but running through the forest at night wasn¡¯t the smartest decision and it would take too long to walk there and back. So, instead, Prevna and I settled in a tree overlooking the lake.

    She bumped my shoulder with hers. ¡°Ready for another adventure?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d rather focus on shadow walking for now.¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°You just don¡¯t want to be in the same group as Ulo for a month.¡±

    I didn¡¯t waste my breath trying to deny that even if I did prefer that I could just focus on training for now.

    ¡°Do you promise not to get banished to another random edge of the goddess¡¯s territory before we meet up again at the Rookery?¡± Prevna asked.

    I glared her. ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Or frozen?¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°Good. From one horror to another, I¡¯d rather not have to save you from the goddess¡¯s wrath again.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°I can take care of myself.¡±

    She nodded, somewhat amused. ¡°Of course you can.¡±

    ¡°You better not get lost, either.¡±

    ¡°I can find my way around.¡±

    I stared out at the lake. ¡°You know what I mean.¡±

    Prevna leaned into my view with a quick, flickering smile of acknowledgment before she ruined the moment. ¡°So are you going to try to hold hands with Wren this time around?¡±

    She continued to tease me for a while longer while I did my best not to rise at her obvious bait. Right before we left to return to our tent, Prevna stopped me and squeezed me tight. I batted at her and she let me go immediately.

    ¡°If you have to go into any grubby tunnels, remember that, alright? Not wherever else you go.¡±

    I gave her a pained smile and nodded. Wishing it was that easy.

 Book 3 - Ch. 4: First Circuit

    We traveled next to First Shore Lake as long as we could, so that we would have a steady supply of water. Juniper had made Wren our navigator, and staying near water was one of the things Wren¡¯s mentor had drilled into her head back in her tribe. Which was understandable, but, since we had Juniper, I thought it was a bit of a moot point.

    Still, the lake also provided a good spot to bathe and hunt for fish if we took the time for it. The couple of times we did Ulo couldn¡¯t seem to decide between grumbling about losing time and looking smug about how many fish she caught.

    As we traveled, Nii and Breck would break off to scout around us and hunt where they could. Sometimes, I would as well, just to get away from the group, but normally I stayed in the space between our group and our three companions who trailed behind. The position meant I had to listen to the healer when he prattled on nervously, but I wasn¡¯t actually close enough to talk with anyone.

    Juniper kept near the front with Wren while Ulo kept close behind them. I don¡¯t think she wanted to be left out of making decisions, but Juniper did a good job of keeping her in her place. She wasn¡¯t scouting and she wasn¡¯t the navigator, so Ulo didn¡¯t get a say on when we turned south or not. The others filled in around them when they returned from scouting.

    We didn¡¯t talk amongst ourselves. The main conversation as we walked was the healer¡¯s sporadic rambling, Juniper¡¯s discussions with the scouts and Wren about the path we were taking, and Ulo¡¯s brief conversations with Nii when the other girl returned from checking the surrounding area. There was also Wren¡¯s conversations with Chirp and the wild birds, but those didn¡¯t help improve the tension running through our group, either.

    Honestly, I was surprised that Wren didn¡¯t try to pull everyone into conversation like she had a tendency to. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because she felt under pressure being the navigator or if she didn¡¯t think that even she could bridge the gap between everyone.

    It also could have been the repetitive frustration that came with her conversations with the wild birds. Once the small song birds got over their shock at being talked to and understood by a human, they warned Wren against going into the main territory of the ¡°Big Wings¡± in the southeast. That area was a kill zone where only stupid or lost birds went, because there was plenty to eat in the surrounding woods.

    Despite all their twittering warnings, however, Wren wasn¡¯t able to get a good location or traveling distance from the birds. They didn¡¯t view those things in the same way we did. The birds didn¡¯t keep track of the days or how much distance they covered when they hunted or migrated, other than a general sense of being close or far from their flock or nest. For the birds she and Chirp talked to along the shore the Big Wings¡¯ territory might as well have been the other goddess¡¯s territory. They didn¡¯t go near it and they didn¡¯t know what was in it other than dangerous big birds that would make a meal of them.

    Wren tried to tell the little birds that the big birds wouldn¡¯t eat her, but they wouldn¡¯t listen. It didn¡¯t matter that she could speak to hawks or geese or any other bird. That area was death to these ones and death couldn¡¯t be reasoned with.

    Juniper smoothed over the lack of information Wren was able to get with an acknowledgment that we were probably too far away from our goal for the birds to truly help us navigate there. They knew their hunting and nesting grounds and that was enough to fill their thoughts. When it came to the immediate area, they were more helpful. The nice birds, the ones that didn¡¯t mind her questions, let Wren know about some of their favorite hunting spots and places that were difficult to travel through or that had predators they didn¡¯t like.

    Near the end of the third day of walking along the red sand, the lake shore began to turn back on itself. We stopped for the night in the shadow of a boulder that was at least three times my height. This one wasn¡¯t cracked in the middle like the spur of stone in the forest, but it had settled halfway into the lake. Little fingernail clams crowded where the lake water lapped at its side.

    The underlying tension in our group, full of dislike, distrust, and sheer awkwardness, always became even more apparent when we camped for the night. Ulo and Nii became a more insular unit as soon as they got their tent set up and they went off to train or do whatever else they did. Nii hadn¡¯t seemed that bad when I first met her, but she seemed to have withdrawn somewhat into her relationship with Ulo. Like she was judging the others for associating with me and felt judged for associating with Ulo. I was judging, but even if I wasn¡¯t I didn¡¯t think it would change anything.

    Juniper had opted to share her tent with Breck. I think she did it so she couldn¡¯t be accused of siding with anyone over anyone else since Breck just looked bored whenever the group dynamic was brought up. She didn¡¯t seem to view social stature in the same way as us. Her ranking had more to do with hunting skill, storied feats, and pride than the amount of life and death a person carried. It was backwards thinking, but I was quietly thankful for it since it meant Breck seemed to hold me in higher esteem than she should.

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    That didn¡¯t mean Breck would step up in my defense though or otherwise do anything to interfere. Ulo and I had a problem, so it was between us to take care of it. I had seen the look she had given Wren when the other girl had broken into an argument between Andhi and Loclen to smooth it over back when we were still in the training camp.

    Which was all to say that, somehow, I was sharing a tent with Wren and Chirp. I had to work to keep the warmth in my cheeks down as we set up the tent. She mostly chatted with Chirp, but occasionally she would toss a comment my way. Not trusting that I could keep my tone and words in check, I mostly ended up answering her with a nod or shake of my head. I knew she noticed my awkward behavior, but she didn¡¯t tease me about it like Prevna would have. Instead, she continued to chat in her easy, affable way as if I had told her a lot rather than simply moving my head.

    As soon as we got the tent set up on a patch of grass away from the red sand, I gathered up my things and headed for the lake. Better to get my laundry done now than if we only had Juniper¡¯s water or a small stream to refill our waterskins. Unfortunately, I wasn¡¯t the only one with that idea.

    One by one, the rest of the group, including Fern and Sid, brought various clothing items down to the clear water and began to scrub with a bit of soap or beat them against the boulder. I rolled my pants up a little higher up over my knees and stepped out further into the water to continue washing my spare pair of pants. I kept a careful eye on the deeper water in front of me¡ªmemories of creatures lurking in the sea and the whisper women fighting a monster on the walled shore near the Seedling Palace not far from my mind.

    Ulo and Nii took up the spot on the other side of the boulder, closer to where Colm was cooking the evening meal, while everyone else ranged behind me. Wren stripped so that she could wash the clothes she had been wearing and I averted my eyes, so I couldn¡¯t be caught staring. Juniper struck up a conversation with Fern about what the older girl¡¯s plans were once she was done watching us. I kept an ear on that exchange. Apparently, she would be doing training specifically with the Beastwatcher sect. She didn¡¯t reveal too much about it other than that the sect was the one she had always wanted to join, so she had been excited to receive their interest.

    Breck, the healer, and I were the quickest and most through when it came to getting our things clean. The others had some knowledge of what they were supposed to do, but they didn¡¯t have the same efficient movements. It was difficult to go your whole life without washing something, but likely, more often than not, the other girls had someone to do it for them. I didn¡¯t know why Breck didn¡¯t seem to have that same luxury, but I knew why I did. When you only had a father during the seasonal run, a time when laundry was hardly a focus, you learned how to keep yourself clean, especially when you were handling wounds.

    It didn¡¯t escape my notice that Fern only had a small handful of things that she was washing; no doubt the items she preferred that her fire starter didn¡¯t handle. Once the evening meal was over or tomorrow morning he¡¯d come down here to wash the rest.

    Once my things were taken care of and spread out on the grass to dry, I settled down to work through my stick and stone practice scenarios. I had found a handful of good ones that I kept with me now in a pouch. After pouring out the little pebbles, three sticks, and one seashell I started to set up the scenario. An ambush set up in a forest clearing. If I had the group I had with me now how would we hunt the wild elk we found there? What if it was a smaller group of enemies? Someone who had invaded our territory? A larger group that could be friend or foe? What if we were the ones being ambushed?

    I worked through the various scenarios. Each time trying to come up a different answer than the one I had come up with before or with multiple solutions to one setup. Rawley had taught me to be flexible. That was easier to do when I had more answers to work from. After the evening meal, I stayed near the dying fire to continue my practice. I preferred to wait for Wren to go to sleep first before slipping into the tent.

    Juniper stepped around the fire to see what I was working on. Her general air of melancholy felt a little heavier than normal. ¡°What is this?¡±

    I pressed my lips together in irritation at the interruption, but she wasn¡¯t someone I could easily ignore. ¡°Practice scenario.¡± I pointed to the different pieces. ¡°This is a forest clearing. Right now I¡¯m figuring out what we should do if we were ambushed in one.¡±

    Juniper crouched down, her expression an odd mix of intrigued and disapproving. ¡°You¡¯re not the leader.¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°Better to be prepared.¡±

    She nodded and settled completely across from me. ¡°What is the clearing like? Does it have dense undergrowth around it? A fallen tree through it?¡±

    I blinked at her questions before giving my answer more thought. ¡°Not too dense. We could walk through it easily enough, but there are still places for the ambushers to hide besides the trees. I was thinking that the clearing was empty, but that the ground over here¡­¡±

    I went through the whole layout I had in my head as she stared intently at the stones and sticks between us. Occasionally, she¡¯d ask a clarifying question and I¡¯d flesh out a part of the scenario I hadn¡¯t given much thought to before. We had worked a bit on strategy together before when we were working on how to take care of the crawler, and I didn¡¯t like how easy it was to fall back into the pattern with her. Still, I couldn¡¯t help but notice how helpful it was to bounce my ideas off another person like I had when Rawley coached me through her various hunting and survival scenarios.

    I didn¡¯t let myself fall completely into the experience, though, so I noticed when Ulo stomped her way to us from the lake shore. ¡°So you¡¯ll dismiss my ideas, but listen to hers?¡±

 Book 3 - Ch. 5: Harsh Words

    Ulo and I had done a remarkable job ignoring each other for the past three days. She kept close to Nii and I kept to myself. We didn¡¯t even look in each other¡¯s direction if we could help it. Better to not set off another fight that way.

    She might have liked to put me in my place and get retribution for her defeat, and I couldn¡¯t deny that beating her down again didn¡¯t have a certain appeal, but we both wanted to complete this new trial as quickly as possible. I might not like having anything remotely in common with the other girl, but I could tell she was nearly as driven as me to rise as a whisper woman. Ulo didn¡¯t seem to have the same perception.

    My mouth tasted sour at her rude interruption. Apparently, her need to be recognized had finally overridden her restraint. The sweet taste of gratification came after. My own restraint hadn¡¯t broken first.

    Then again I had more than enough practice at biting my tongue when letting it loose wouldn¡¯t get me anything but more time in the tent and a verbal lashing I never could match. She had never ranted, but well chosen silences and words had always cut worse.

    I paused.

    Prevna wasn¡¯t here and Ulo¡¯s opinion about me couldn¡¯t get any lower. She was spoiling for a fight. I likely wouldn¡¯t win another physical contest, not if it was fair, but words? She didn¡¯t seem like the type with much practice with those. Juniper¡¯s opinion of me might sink, but Jin wasn¡¯t breathing down my neck to get along with everyone anymore. It was still safer if there was at least a bit of distance between me and everyone else.

    Besides, I could keep my focus on Ulo.

    Juniper tilted her head up to look at the other girl. ¡°I¡¯ll listen to anyone who has something worth listening to.¡±

    There was an obvious insult I could follow that statement up with, but it was so easy it would have hardly any bite. If I was going to go through the effort of insulting her I wanted it to hurt.

    The smart thing to do¡ªthe peaceful thing¡ªwould be to keep quiet and continue to ignore her, keeping up my half of our silent truce. But Ulo had marched over here and interrupted my training and my restraint felt more than a little frayed.

    Prevna wasn¡¯t here and that change pinched at me even as the fact that it bothered me pushed my irritation further. Being followed by the yammering, useless healer anytime I traveled with the group, sharing a tent with Wren, having others stick their nose in my business without asking¡­

    Why not take advantage of this situation to release a bit of tension when Ulo had been dumb enough to walk right into it?

    Ulo used the obvious insult to follow up Juniper¡¯s words as she pointed at me. ¡°She¡¯s not worth listening to. She¡¯s life ridden.¡±

    I let my gaze trail up over her and back down. Nothing was quite as infuriating as passive disinterest when you wanted to fight someone. ¡°Because of my blessing?¡±

    Ulo¡¯s gaze snapped to me before she shifted to clearly focus all of her attention on Juniper. ¡°You¡¯ll just corrupt yourself.¡±

    ¡°She fought on the shore,¡± Juniper said, her tone edged with challenge. ¡°Can you say the same?¡±

    I continued my own part of the conversation as if they hadn¡¯t spoken. ¡°Because you might want to look at your blessing again, Ulo. I might not be able to die, but you can¡¯t drown. Might be more than a little life in that, hm?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not like you!¡± Ulo hissed. Promptly forgetting her resolve to pretend like I wasn¡¯t sitting there.

    I shrugged as a malicious little smirk curved my lips. ¡°Perhaps She wanted to keep me around more.¡±

    Oh, that stung. She visibly flinched back as her jaw worked. If she said the goddess wanted her more it could come off with the insinuation that she was more life ridden than I was given how I linked our blessings, but if she didn¡¯t, she was allowing the implication that I was more desirable than her to stand.

    From what I had seen of her so far Ulo was a girl who thrived off of recognition.

    ¡°The goddess doesn¡¯t favor life ridden degenerates,¡± Ulo bit out.

    ¡°Better keep an eye out on your fortune then.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not life ridden!¡±

    I smiled at her lack of control and didn¡¯t let any part of my reaction show that I agreed with her. She wasn¡¯t a healer or a man, and Rawley had even been able to find a perspective where my own blessing wasn¡¯t inherently life ridden. Ulo¡¯s situation was much less severe than my own, but that didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t use her fears against her.

    I cast a glance at Juniper. ¡°Do you think she¡¯s protesting too much?¡±

    Juniper turned her attention back to the scenario of sticks and stones between us. ¡°I think she¡¯s wasting time to train.¡±

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    Ulo glared down at both of us. ¡°How can you side with her?¡±

    ¡°Have you ever killed a giant sea snake? A crawler?¡± After a long pause Juniper dragged her gaze back up to Ulo. ¡°Challenge my decisions again when you¡¯ve done something real.¡±

    My eyes widened at the younger girl¡¯s clear dismissal. I hadn¡¯t expected Juniper to take such an active role in smacking down Ulo.

    Ulo¡¯s fists clenched. ¡°She¡¯s dangerous.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m counting on.¡±

    I didn¡¯t like the sound of that, but I didn¡¯t want to confront Juniper on it in front of Ulo. ¡°Go away, Ulo.¡±

    Her jaw worked again and I think her arms shook from the effort it took to keep from slugging me, but after a handful of heartbeats she turned on her heel and left. I doubted that would be end of it, but at least I wouldn¡¯t have to deal with her for the rest of the night.

    Juniper tried to bring my attention back to our practice as if nothing had happened. She gestured to the scene set up between us. ¡°Do you have an idea of how to get out of an ambush of fifteen Pickers who want to take our things without killing anyone? In an open clearing that provides no place to hide but the enemy has their pick of bushes and other undergrowth?¡±

    I ignored her questions in favor of one of my own. ¡°Why do you think I¡¯ll do anything for you?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±

    My eyes narrowed. ¡°You want something.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s melancholy thickened again but she didn¡¯t actually answer, so I pressed her.

    ¡°I might have supported you to become the leader of our group, but that doesn¡¯t mean I follow you.¡±

    She nodded, utterly tight lipped and composed. ¡°Let¡¯s train again tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°I do fine on my own.¡±

    ¡°Run through these scenarios with me and I¡¯ll help with your shadow walking.¡±

    I pressed my lips together in frustration.

    We both knew that she was much better at using our boon than I was, even if she was nowhere near as good as one of the older seedlings. I had practiced shadow walking when I could between my other training and traveling, but I hadn¡¯t progressed since we left the training camp and I was starting to run out of ideas to fix whatever it was I was doing wrong. Juniper was smart, she could probably help me get at least a bit better, but I didn¡¯t like not knowing what her plans were. And there was little doubt that she had something in mind.

    I refused to become like Ento and Idra, following after her like a couple of camp dogs.

    ¡°I do fine on my own.¡±

    Her lips twitched into the smallest of smiles, before she nodded and left. Somehow it felt like I had played into her hands and the sensation itched. I glared after her.

    I doubted that would the last of her particular kind of advance as well. The whisper women might want nothing to do with me after they heard the goddess might have an eye on me, but my cohort only knew that I had been both punished and slightly rewarded during the trial. I didn¡¯t intend for the full knowledge of what had happened to get out, just as the whisper women didn¡¯t seem keen to gossip with us.

    Part of me was half tempted to shove the idea that I might have been punished by the goddess Herself in Juniper¡¯s face, so that the other girl would leave me alone. Ever since the shore, I had noticed that she watched me more, came around to train nearby more. I didn¡¯t like the attention and I didn¡¯t like not knowing why I was getting it. She might be one of the most tolerable girls in the cohort, but she also seemed like she could quickly become one of the most troublesome.

    After another minute or so of turning over the other girl¡¯s possible motivations and coming up with a few ways Ulo¡¯s ire might turn, and how I could respond to them, I turned back to the sticks and stones in front of me. The solitude felt comforting after the unasked for conversation.

    - -

    Ulo and Nii had disappeared by the time I woke up the next morning. The sun had barely breached the horizon, so they must have made an idiotic escape in the dark. I was a little surprised that I hadn¡¯t heard them pack up their tent, but they tended to set it up away from everyone else.

    Breck confirmed the timeline when Juniper gathered the rest of our group together in front of our tents. She looked and sounded as bored as ever with the whole affair. ¡°I saw them pack up shortly after Gimley went to sleep. They headed southeast.¡±

    Wren rounded on her. ¡°And you didn¡¯t stop them?¡±

    Breck shrugged on shoulder. ¡°They didn¡¯t take any food sacks, just what they gathered.¡±

    Fern wandered over from where she had been talking with her fire starter. ¡°Just so you know, arriving to the Rookery without your full group reflects badly on you.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s expression darkened.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Do we have to go after them? Ulo¡¯s probably trying to get to the Rookery first anyway.¡±

    ¡°We do.¡± Juniper¡¯s tone was firm. ¡°They¡¯re my responsibility.¡±

    I rolled my eyes and Wren glared at me.

    Fern added, ¡°They don¡¯t have a healer. If they get hurt and die, someone will need to be held accountable for the loss of potential whisper women. I suggest you find them quickly.¡±

    It didn¡¯t take a lot of guesswork to realize that ¡°someone¡± was likely her and she didn¡¯t want the backlash, but she couldn¡¯t interfere too much because this was supposed to be our trial. I also wanted to scoff at the idea that there was any worry about our lives with the situations we kept being put in, but I knew better than to do it to her face. Esie¡¯s admonishment for me to show respect to my superiors still popped up in my mind. I didn¡¯t want to give Jin or Yule any excuse to get me kicked out if I could help it. They might not be here, but I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if they weren¡¯t keeping an eye on me, one way or another, with that in mind.

    ¡°Does anyone here have experience tracking through a forest?¡± Juniper asked.

    Somehow I was the one with the most experience in that respect. Breck came from craggy cliffs, Juniper the coast, and Wren had traveled through more grassland on elk than woodlands like we were about to enter. Wren could talk to the birds which might help, and Chirp could flit ahead, but somehow when it came to actually looking for broken twigs and footprints pressed into a soft forest floor, my months training with Rawley won out.

    Breck had more experience tracking, but most of it was connected to the very different landscape of her homeland. I told her what to look out for and she agreed to keep an eye out as she hunted. I didn¡¯t say it, but I think she still could have done a better job than me if she cared to. She hunted the forest animals easily enough, after all.

    Granted, I wasn¡¯t particularly keen on tracking the two idiots either, but I didn¡¯t want them to die. However irritating Ulo was. Nor did I care for the loss of performance Fern indicated we would get if we finished the trial without the pair.

    So, after we quickly broke our fast and packed up camp, I found myself on point searching out clues for where they went. It helped that one of them had heavier footprints from carrying the tent or food. Hopefully, we would be able to catch them within the day.

 Book 3 - Ch. 6: Closing the Gap

    If I had been able to spend more time as Rawley¡¯s apprentice and we were back around Gabbler Shore, or even Grislander¡¯s Maw, I think I would have done admirably tracking Ulo and Nii. My mentor would never have lost the trail, no matter the landscape, and dragged them back in an hour or two. As it was I had a set of basic guidelines to follow, some experience from training exercises, a woodland I didn¡¯t know, and a pair that apparently didn¡¯t want to be found.

    There was a lot of guesswork and assumptions made as I led the group further under the trees that no one else got to hear. It would have been a lot easier if the pair had continued their obvious trail from the campsite, but being difficult seemed to be Ulo¡¯s strong suit. After they got a good distance away from where we had camped their footprints, and other signs of their passing, lessened. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if they were trying to carefully avoid the scrubby brush, and step on sturdy roots and hard ground where they could. Not that they could avoid everything, but the focus definitely switched from speed to stealth.

    If I kept us moving quickly on the right trail we could catch up sooner than later. That was the good news. The bad news was that it sometimes took me a good five or ten minutes to decide if a scuff mark I found was made by them before estimating what direction they went so that I could find the next clue. Sometimes I simply picked the direction we thought the Rookery was in and decided that was good enough.

    We had to backtrack a couple of times when I guessed wrong and didn¡¯t find any more signs of their passing for awhile. Wren helped keep track of our positioning in the forest with her navigation skills, so that we could find our way back if needed. My shoulders tightened a little further when that happened. She got to show off every time I failed.

    Still, I found evidence of a campsite late in the morning on the second day. The remains of tiny fire hidden behind the trunk of a tree, so that we would be less likely to spot it. They must have stolen an ember from the campfire and were keeping it alight. Scuff marks, flattened grass, and a footprint or two from setting up their tent and moving around.

    We were probably five or six hours behind, which was better than when we started.

    By the time I found the campsite I had gained a new appreciation for Rawley¡¯s skill at tracking as well as her patience. I was already planning out a myriad of petty revenge to get the pair back for the trouble and stress they were putting me through. A large part of me was tempted to pretend I was still following their trail when I was really leaving them to fend for themselves in favor of finding the Rookery more quickly.

    In the end, I kept up the struggle to follow their trail because I was sure Breck would be able to tell if we kept going through areas with no signs of the pair¡¯s passing. And because between Rawley¡¯s teaching and my own upbringing I couldn¡¯t quit halfway through. Not when I could picture her hidden disappointment for abandoning a hunt. Not when there was a chance they could die on my account.

    I might not be able to use my healing skills, but I could do this. However painfully slow and irritating it was.

    By that evening, my eyes hurt, my back hurt, and I had convinced myself that the goddess wouldn¡¯t mind if I slipped just a little bit of feverluck and spiritflower into Ulo and Nii¡¯s next meal. It was only a slight poisoning after all, not healing, and She hadn¡¯t struck me down after I used the mixture to get revenge on Fellen last year. I even had the three leaves of poison now to mark that I had permission to use the craft.

    I sat, leaning back against a tree, eyes closed, while Juniper worked through the merits of setting up camp for the night or pushing on. If we pushed on we might be able to catch up to them while the pair rested, but I was also much more likely to lose what trail we had in the dark.

    Wren was talking to the birds. More than once they had been able to confirm that other humans had passed through the area when I was about to lose the trail. The little birds might not be the best at telling us about the Rookery, but they were observant enough to notice when something unexpected passed through their territory. Some were better at remembering if the passage was around first light, high light, and last light while others could point us in the direction the pair went.

    It made me want to hand over the scouting duties to her, since she could get the same information for less work, but the birds weren¡¯t always paying attention and sometimes they remembered wrong. They could also take a bit to gather and work through their initial excitement about talking to a human.

    Besides, letting her pick up the slack felt like giving up and that wasn¡¯t acceptable. I might not have everyone else¡¯s supernatural abilities, but I refused to feel useless. I had gotten us this far; I could get us caught up to the idiots.

    A pair of little talons landed on my knee as a couple of wing beats brushed the slightest breeze over my face. I cracked open one eye to find Chirp perched proudly in front of my face. As soon he noticed that I was looking at him the little glutton cracked his beak wide open and begged.

    I might have bribed him once earlier in the day to point me in the right direction by talking to the other birds before anyone else knew I was having trouble. He got two worms I unearthed under a log when I asked for his help and two worms after he pointed me in the right direction.

    I should have remembered not to make myself a target for the little beast¡¯s hunger. Unless he had a grudge, once Chirp knew he could get food out of you he kept coming back for more. Even if he had already been paid for his services.

    I shut my open eye and deliberately ignored him. After several long heartbeats of sweet silence he began to twitter in an angry rant. I let him go for it until I heard Wren stumble in what she was saying to the other birds. I didn¡¯t know if he had called me something exceptionally bad or if he had revealed our earlier deal, but either one couldn¡¯t be allowed to stand.

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    I glared at the puffball. He had started to beg again as soon as I opened my eyes. ¡°Give me one reason why I shouldn¡¯t trap you in my cloak again.¡±

    If anything his chest puffed out further as he hopped a little to look at Wren before looking back at me. He let out a couple of authoritative chirps and opened his beak again, ready to receive his offerings.

    ¡°I¡¯m not giving you anything.¡±

    He kept begging.

    ¡°Go away.¡±

    His beak opened a little wider.

    I carefully picked him up and set him as far away from me as I could reach without getting up. Then I sat back and closed my eyes again.

    A moment later a slight weight with pointed little feet settled back on my knee. He twittered a bit again when I continued to ignore him. A minute or two passed and then he chirped again, more resolute. I still didn¡¯t look at him.

    Chirp¡¯s weight shifted, just a little, and then I felt something warm and wet plop down on my knee and run down my pants. My eyes popped open and I lunged for him as Chirp flew away.

    ¡°You storming little¡ª¡± I let my knee drag across the ground for a moment to wipe away the fresh shit as I chased after him.

    He twittered something that sounded haughty and zipped ahead. I ignored my low chances of catching him and raced past where Breck was leaning against her own tree in hot pursuit. The healer gaped at me while the fire starter chuckled and Fern looked unimpressed.

    ¡°Chirp, come here.¡± Wren¡¯s voice cut into the air. He paused and I almost caught him. When Chirp didn¡¯t come right away she added, ¡°Now.¡±

    He went and I stayed back. The little puffball might deserve payback for what he did, but I didn¡¯t want to draw Wren¡¯s ire by drawing attention to the fact that I had been trying to capture her friend again after I promised not to.

    Chirp landed on her hand and she bopped him on the head. ¡°You know you¡¯re not supposed to do that. Gimley didn¡¯t do anything to you.¡±

    I stared, a little bewildered, as Chirp twittered sadly.

    Wren stayed stern. ¡°I know you like treats, but you don¡¯t get them just because you ask for them.¡±

    He twittered again, feathers much less puffed than before.

    ¡°I know, but that¡¯s the way it is. If you got treats every time you wanted them you¡¯d be too chubby to fly and how would you impress the other birds then?¡±

    As they continued to converse, I started to turn away to return to my spot. Wren¡¯s voice caught me before I made it more than a few steps. ¡°Gimley? Chirp has something he¡¯d like to say to you.¡±

    Chirp hopped so that he was turned to face me on Wren¡¯s finger before he let out the quietest series of chirps.

    ¡°Chirp,¡± Wren warned.

    The same series of chirps, but louder. Then he fluttered down to the ground, picked up a bunch of pine needles that had fallen, and half-heartedly wiped at his mess on my knee. It didn¡¯t look like he had done much of anything before he dropped the needles, chirped once, and sped off.

    Wren gave me an apologetic look before saying, ¡°He just needs a bit to cool off.¡±

    Not sure what else to do, I nodded at her and finished making my way back to my spot. I didn¡¯t bother trying to further clean my pants. Either we would be camping for the night and I could wash them then with some of Juniper¡¯s water, or we would continue on and they would likely get more dirty before we were done.

    A handful of minutes later my rest was interrupted again as Juniper came to a decision. ¡°We¡¯ll push on until true dark and then leave again at first light. At our current pace, if we don¡¯t spend longer traveling then them we¡¯ll take too long to catch up.¡±

    I hid a wince at the public censure. It wasn¡¯t my fault that we didn¡¯t have anyone with more woodland experience to track them.

    Wren gestured up to the birds clustered on a branch over her head. ¡°They think they saw a pair of humans head southeast sometime after noon.¡± She smiled in that lazy, nonchalant way of hers. ¡°If we push and stay on track, we can probably catch them tomorrow morning.¡±

    She made it sound so easy. Of course, she wasn¡¯t the one who had to peer at every little leaf and patch of dirt just in case a mark had been left. No matter how well we might see in the dark, finding markings was going to be infinitely harder in the half light as the sun set and rose behind the horizon.

    Breck pushed off of her tree and stretched. ¡°I saw a part of footprint in that direction.¡±

    I glared at her. I hadn¡¯t found anymore trail marks yet.

    It just went to show that even if I had more nominal experience with tracking in a forest, I didn¡¯t actually need to be grubbing around in the dirt.

    Still, none of them needed to know that. My other skills were banned or unlikely to be useful in the current situation, so I might as well do what I could to help. Better that than be looked down on as a useless burden.

    I went over to where Breck had indicated she found the partial print and used it as a starting point to find the next sign that would keep us on the pair¡¯s trail. She stayed closer this time. Instead of roaming around to scout the surrounding area or hunt, Breck also helped with the tracking.

    Wisely, no one mentioned that our progress was a lot quicker through the forest as Breck made short work of picking out which signs belonged to our quarry and sweeping the area to find the next clue. No one but the bumbling fool of a healer, but Fern shut him up with an impatient look.

    I think Breck was helped by the fact that she also knew what areas she would try to use or avoid if she was trying to avoid being found. I followed the same logic, but my conclusions had more theory behind them than experience. From what Breck mentioned of Haggler¡¯s Cliffs she had been the prey as often as the hunter, even if it was difficult to imagine the confident girl on the run from anything.

    Once I found a scuffed root before Breck did and she gave me a nod of recognition. I¡¯d never tell her, but that nod might have kept me from adding everyone in our party to my secret revenge plan I already had for Ulo and Nii. My patience was wearing real thin at that point.

    Half an hour later, Wren¡¯s annoyed exclamation stopped our forward progress. She had her arms crossed as she frowned at the pair of birds chattering at her from a nearby shrub.

    ¡°What is it?¡± Juniper asked.

    Chirp had returned as we traveled and he settled down on Wren¡¯s shoulder as she answered, ¡°They don¡¯t want us to keep going forward. There¡¯s something dangerous ahead.¡±

    Immediately, we were all on guard. Juniper eyed the little birds. ¡°Can they describe it?¡±

    Wren¡¯s frown deepened. ¡°Long limbs and stealthy. I guess whatever it is comes from the branches and snaps up the birds as they fly by.¡±

    My attention snapped up to the branches above me but I didn¡¯t spot anything unusual. I strained my other senses as well, but only the same sounds and smells I sensed all day filled the air. Small animals, rustling needles and grass, clean air. Nothing that pointed to an ambush.

    Wren added, a bit reluctant, ¡°The others wouldn¡¯t have been warned.¡±

    Juniper glanced back to Fern before her expression grew more determined. ¡°We continue on then. Let¡¯s keep close and our eyes open.¡±

    We clustered closer to her, the three tagalongs included, though Fern didn¡¯t give away if the news of danger was expected or not. They might always test seedlings with an ambush in this piece of the woods or it could be something that popped up between the Beastwatchers¡¯ sweeps.

    I silently hoped it was the former instead of the latter.

 Book 3 - Ch. 7: Fight Night

    As we continued on the woodland seemed much the same as before except an eerie silence that settled over everything. It reminded me so much of the Lady Blue¡¯s ploy on the shore that I stealthy checked to see if a breeze still brushed by. It did, but nothing else moved as the shadows crept longer and kept ushering in the night. The rest of the creatures in the forest were apparently smart enough to give this area a wide berth.

    It was a bit gratifying to see Ulo and Nii¡¯s incompetence so clearly portrayed as their tracks kept leading deeper into the ominous wood, but with how sharp eyed Nii usually was, it was odd that they didn¡¯t adjust their path. Either Ulo had been very convincing in her arguments to keep going southeast with very little deviation or the woods had been livelier earlier in the day.

    Setting up camp wasn¡¯t brought up again even as the first stars glimmered overhead. We all knew that stopping here would just be asking for unnecessary trouble. Either we left the creepy area behind on our own or we found the pair and left it behind with them.

    Juniper refilled our waterskins as we walked and the fire starter pulled out pieces of flat bread cooked with berries and nuts for us to nibble on. I wanted to keep my gaze on the branches to watch out for danger, but Ulo and Nii hadn¡¯t traveled through them, so I had to stay focused on the ground. The others switched off between who was watching overhead and who kept an eye on the surrounding trees.

    I didn¡¯t like the delegation.

    Chirp also didn¡¯t like that he wasn¡¯t allowed to flit around anymore, but Wren had taken the other birds¡¯ warning to heart. She wasn¡¯t about to lose the little irritant to an ambush, so he got to pout on her shoulder.

    The sun completely slipped behind the horizon and Breck and I lost the trail.

    We searched through the area carefully, but no other signs appeared after the last couple partial footprints we found. Nothing to the southeast, nothing to the left or right, nothing farther back to indicate that we had been following a false trail.

    Breck said the obvious answer before we could waste more time. ¡°They were ambushed.¡±

    ¡°What would attack them and the birds?¡± Wren asked, hushed. ¡°It¡¯s not like they¡¯re similar prey.¡±

    We were back near the footprints. The trees were close enough here that they did a decent job blocking out the moonlight. It made it difficult to tell where the shadows of the pine trees began and the gloom from everything else ended.

    The healer whispered, ¡°Do you think they¡¯re still here?¡±

    Fern¡¯s voice cut through the air, instantly taking command from Juniper. ¡°Gather close and have a weapon ready. The sharper the better. If this is what I think it is, the others shouldn¡¯t be dead yet.¡±

    The healer¡¯s voice sounded strangled, ¡°Shouldn¡¯t be?¡±

    At the same time Wren hissed, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you warn us earlier then?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t¡ª¡± Fern had to clear her throat when her voice caught. ¡°They weren¡¯t supposed to be here. Just be prepared and hide in the shadows if you have to.¡±

    I pulled my spear free as we all bunched with our backs together and the healer in the middle. The fire starter crouched slightly to my right, knife in hand, and looking like he was ready for a fight. Fern had her own spear out on his other side.

    It seemed to be the weapon of choice. Our new ring bristled with them as we stood shoulder to shoulder, Juniper on my other side.

    ¡°Colm, light up the sky.¡±

    Snap. Snap. Snap.

    Three flickers of fire bloomed in between the branches around us, one after the other. I only had eyes for the little flame in front of me. It only lit up the branches overhead for a moment or two, but that was more than enough to make out the monstrosity we were facing.

    Half human and half spider, the thing¡¯s body fused human waist and spider abdomen together. It had four long, thin arms attached to its upper body and four legs it could scuttle around on, all ending in three thick triangular digits. Its whole body looked like it was made out of dark, warped wood, but there were chunks that had broken away and crystallized on the edges. The face was wrong¡ªtoo carved and unmoving to be real.

    Which was when the entire face split down the middle to reveal two vertical rows of crystallized, needle sharp teeth.

    The flame died, the healer screamed, and a sound too high for me to hear thrummed through the air.

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    More sparks of flame lit up the night, quick enough to show the monster a moment before it hit us. Movement from around our little group told me the storming thing wasn¡¯t the only one.

    I stabbed out with my spear and scratched it along the side. Colm grabbed one of the arms coming at him and stabbed it in its jointed shoulder. Fern stepped in close, knocking aside two other arms, and got her spear in the joint of one of its legs. A pulse of power from her and the monster shrieked in pain as wood splintered and flew.

    I ducked out of the way of one large splinter as the creature¡¯s last arm snaked around and caught Colm¡¯s shirt. The older man stayed focus, jabbed his elbow into the creature¡¯s elbow, but that didn¡¯t break open its hold. I tried to stab the creature again and got it in one of its crystallizing wounds. Another high thrumming shriek echoed through the air, but the creature ignore me as it opened its maw and dripped long strings of spittle onto Colm.

    He struggled as Fern and I attacked the monster, but it had two hands on him now and refused to let its prize go.

    Breck¡¯s presence pressed on my mind as she activated her blessing and, just like that, the creature let go of Colm as it tried to crawl over us to get to the girl on the other side of the circle. I ducked out of the way of a flailing limb and heard a cry of pain as I stepped into something wet.

    Belatedly, I realized that Juniper had been attempting her water trick, but she was too focused on it and used to being protected by Idra¡¯s shield. The creature¡¯s clawed foot had scored a cut across her shoulder. I shoved the leg aside as Fern got her spear in the creature¡¯s open mouth. A pulse of power from her and her spear head turned into a spiky ball that shot out for several inches in all directions. The creature screamed again and fell onto Colm.

    He took the hit hard. He hadn¡¯t moved with the same efficacy he started with. Now his movements were wide and sweeping, slow and weak. I stabbed into the creature¡¯s open jaw as well, just for good measure, as I recognized symptoms. He was suddenly like a drunk who had too much to drink at the Heartsong Festival.

    He couldn¡¯t find the strength to push the creature off of him. After the creature gave one final twitch, I helped Fern flip the storming thing off the fire starter while he stared blurrily upwards, careful to avoid the strings of saliva.

    Someone stumbled into my back and I fell onto my knees, barely keeping ahold of my spear. Twisting around to face the new threat I found the healer on the ground near me. He babbled incoherently as he tried to keep a new spider creature from pinning him in place.

    Juniper struck before I did¡ªfinally realizing there wasn¡¯t time for her water trick in this fight. Since it worked so well before, I aimed for the creature¡¯s open mouth, but it turned its head just as I hit and knocked the weapon out of my hands.

    Someone was screaming to aim at joints, wounds, and mouths, but I ignored them as I pulled out my knife. I couldn¡¯t ignore the thick, odd hand that gripped my arm from behind as I went to strike.

    Two more hands gripped me as I tried to stab my assailant and something wet and sticky dripped down my back. None of it had touched my skin, not yet. I shuddered involuntarily as I tried to break free. But that was no use. Too many arms. It¡¯d take too long to break free attacking the joints and I didn¡¯t have good leverage to turn around find any wounds.

    Another mouth then. At least I wouldn¡¯t be in danger of being swallowed this time.

    Bunching my legs up under me, I surged backwards and up. The monsters weren¡¯t tall, so it didn¡¯t take much to reach what I wanted, but the move did surprise the creature and weaken its hold for a moment.

    Just enough for me to strike over my head in an arch and catch it in its gaping mouth. I struck again before it had a chance to react. Saliva coated my hand and wrist as the creature shrieked too high for me to hear. I tried to strike again but its mouth snapped closed, needle teeth barely missing my fist and catching the blade.

    I hung on as a numbing haze started to drift up my arm. I couldn¡¯t lose my knife. I wouldn¡¯t.

    The creature punched me in the gut and I went down. My knife wasn¡¯t in my hand, but it was difficult to focus on where it might be.

    I needed to get away. It wouldn¡¯t be good if I got caught.

    Wouldn¡¯t make it if I tried to run.

    The creature punched me again. Its fist going in and out of moonlight as it did so.

    I was laying in a shadow. Pine tree or from something else? I couldn¡¯t tell by looking. But there was that faint feeling that if I just pushed hard enough I could slip through.

    I pushed and pushed and pushed.

    It was like trying to shove myself through a claustrophobic crack in the ground¡ªa vague part of me was glad my mind was too hazy to pull on the memories the feeling brought up¡ªand then I was falling.

    Cool, oily ground pressed against my cheek as I lay sprawled out in the shadow paths. I knew we weren¡¯t supposed to sleep in them, but I couldn¡¯t seem to make myself focus. So I drifted just on the edge of sleeping.

    I don¡¯t know how long I lay there. Don¡¯t know how long it took before I came back to myself enough to worry about what happened to the others and how much longer before I thought to wipe the creature¡¯s spit off my hand. I cleared up faster after that.

    I hated how quickly and thoroughly the creature¡¯s saliva had affected me, but even as I vowed not to let it touch me again, I wondered if I could make use of it somehow. If nothing else, it would have been potent to settle difficult customers back when I had my healer¡¯s beads¡ª

    I cut that thought off and focused instead on how it could be a good poison for hunting difficult or large game, much like the creatures had used it on us.

    It felt odd to stay in the shadow paths for so long, and I didn¡¯t like not knowing what was happening outside, but I was down to my sling for weapons and I doubted it would do much to the creature¡¯s unnatural wooden skin. I needed to be fully recovered before I stepped out to see if anyone else escaped, especially if the creatures hadn¡¯t left yet.

    Of course, if they had left, that meant I¡¯d probably have to find them in the woods to find the others. Fern had made it sound like the creatures had taken Ulo and Nii instead of killing them, though that seemed odd to me when they could have killed us a lot easier with their strength, numbers, and needle teeth. But they also had purposely pinned us down and used their incapacitating spit rather than bite me or the men.

    So perhaps the creatures did want us for a reason.

    But I wouldn¡¯t be able to track them like I had with Ulo and Nii. I¡¯d have to find some other way to locate them without getting caught.

 Map of Helindra

    I realized I never showed you all the map I use for Helindra, the goddess''s territory that Gimley is in so here it is! Helindra is everything to the left of the isthmus with the mountains. Azaldra, the territory belonging to Azabel, is to the right, though that hasn¡¯t really come into play with the story so far and is cut off here. The map isn''t completely accurate because there''s some locations, like Flickermark and the Seedling Palace, that haven''t been added but it should give you the general lay of the land. I hope the map helps you picture where the characters are as the story progresses!

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 Book 3 - Ch. 8: Reunion

    When I fell out of the shadow nothing moved around me. It was still night out but, from how far the moon moved, it was already past midnight. I didn¡¯t see any others from the group or the spider creatures, but I knew better than to just trust my eyesight at this point.

    If the creatures were smart they might have left a lookout behind.

    I listened to the moonlit woodland around me, but it was just as silent as it had been during their first ambush. That could mean there was one or more still hanging around or every other creature was keen on stealth or keeping out of the spider creatures¡¯ territory. I couldn¡¯t blame the forest animals even if the eerie silence didn¡¯t help my nerves.

    The air was thick with the scent of pine, though there was also an undercurrent of blood and¡­rot. I hoped no one had been severely injured after I escaped into the shadows. Despite the chaotic mess of a fight, I didn¡¯t remember anyone bleeding heavily before then. Three spider creature bodies were sprawled out under the trees and I thought the faint scent of rot came from them.

    I kept as still as I could as I scanned the area for my missing weapons. Better to be as prepared as possible before I made more noise to give away my position.

    My knife lay a handful of feet away, outside the shadow I was crouching in. I must have let go of it after the creature punched me. Rawley would have chided me for bad form, and I agreed with her, but now that I could think properly, I knew that it wouldn¡¯t have been much help unless I could have pulled the blade free of the creature¡¯s bite.

    I didn¡¯t see my spear, but I thought I remembered where it had been headbutted out my hands. As long as it wasn¡¯t broken or trapped under one of the bodies, it shouldn¡¯t be too difficult to recover.

    After checking the branches overhead again, I crept to my knife, wiped it carefully in the grass to clean it off as best as I could, and then sheathed it. I breathed a tiny bit easier after that. It was much better to have at least one weapon that I knew could harm the monsters.

    So far it didn¡¯t seem like a lookout had been left behind, but I didn¡¯t lower my guard. They had waited in the trees, unseen, until Colm lit up the shadows with his sparks. If there was a lookout it could be waiting for the best time to strike.

    Keeping one hand near my knife, I kept my movements low and slow as I inched closer to where the main fight had taken place. I circled around the spider creature that I had killed with Fern.

    If anything, she was the most likely to have also escaped the creatures¡¯ clutches. She had the experience and skill with the goddess¡¯s boons to pull it off easier than I had, and she could leave the shadow paths from a different one from what she entered. Best case scenario she was able to take someone with her. From what I knew, she didn¡¯t have the skill yet to pull in two other people with her or, if she did, Fern needed the darker, bigger shadows that made opening an entrance into the shadows paths easier.

    My spear was where I expected it to be, but, because nothing ever seemed to be easy, one of the dead creatures had fallen on top of it. I tried tugging the spear free but it didn¡¯t budge under the creature¡¯s weight. If I could shove the creature¡¯s bulk over two or three inches or get it to roll over then my spear would be free. The trouble was that it had taken me and Fern to pull the one off of Colm during the fight¡ªand moving the storming thing would likely ruin any semblance I had of stealth.

    Debating my options, I scanned the area around me again, looking for any other weapons that might have been left behind. A long line on the ground drew my eye and I made my way over to it. Another spear but its point was shattered. So one way or another we would be down at least one spear. A knife was buried in the joint of the third creature. I pried it out and added it to my pack since I didn¡¯t have a good spot on my belt. A pack with a broken strap lay on its side a little further away. A few things had strewn across the ground and I gathered them up before looking through the pack.

    It still had the bedroll attached to the bottom and the standard traveling supplies inside. If that was all it had I wouldn¡¯t have been able to tell who it belonged to, but then I found the jar of sleet beetles carefully tucked in a change of clothes. My jaw clenched. It was Wren¡¯s pack.

    On one hand taking the pack with me would throw me off balance, tire me out quicker, and make it more difficult to move stealthily or fight. On the other hand, there was no guarantee that we could come back for it and I didn¡¯t want to leave perfectly good supplies behind.

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    A bit against my better judgment, I stuffed the items that had fallen out back into the pack and slung the good strap over my shoulder. It hung at an odd angle against my pack and was heavy, but I left it there with the excuse that I could always drop it if I needed to.

    In the spirit of continued recklessness I went back over to where my spear was trapped under the creature. If I was taking the pack, then I was also taking the spear since it could do a lot more harm to the enemy. Besides, nothing had attacked me yet and if it did I¡¯d have another weapon to defend myself with.

    In the end I had to take both packs off and press my back against the spider abdomen while digging my heels into the ground to move the storming thing the necessary inches. They weren¡¯t huge creatures, but they were heavy. As soon as it moved enough I snatched the spear up and crouched behind the body. Ready and waiting.

    No attack came.

    Relaxing slightly again, I took a little time to examine the dead creature next to me. Rawley had liked to point out the importance of gathering as much information as possible in a reasonable time frame. It was difficult to be flexible and prepared if you didn¡¯t have any information to go on. I could hear her voice in my head, calm and firm, ¡°Everything is a resource¡±.

    The creature¡¯s skin¡ªouter shell might have been more accurate¡ªwas a tough, thick layer of wood. It was a kind I didn¡¯t recognize, but that was hardly surprising given that it wasn¡¯t on a plant and the creatures were hardly natural. I was careful to avoid the spit that had oozed from the creature¡¯s mouth, but it was clear from looking in its mouth that the creature did have flesh beneath its outer armor. I couldn¡¯t tell the color in the moonlight, but its blood was clear. I hadn¡¯t noticed them bleed a lot during the fight, but that could have been because the blood and spit were difficult to tell apart. The oddest part, however, was the crystallized wounds at random points across its body. The crystal patches were all of varying sizes and depths, but the deepest ones seemed to have ate through the wooden shell and exposed the flesh underneath.

    I¡¯d have to go for those in the next fight. The bigger patches would be easier to aim for than the joints or mouth and there was a chance I could hit something vital if I got my spear deep enough.

    Very carefully, I pulled out one of my empty jars from my poisoner¡¯s pouch and filled it as best as I could with the creature¡¯s spit. I wasn¡¯t sure if such a small amount would do anything and I very much doubted that it would work on the creatures, but part of me was curious if Prevna could make use of it with her mark. The creatures¡¯ wooden bodies could also make good fuel for a fire if we had a way to bring them with us, but that wasn¡¯t going to happen now.

    I pulled both packs back on and kept my spear in hand as I started to scout around for tracks. While getting dragged across the ground was hardly a pleasant experience, part of me hoped that it had happened to the others just for the obvious tracks it would leave behind.

    No such luck.

    I did find some gouge marks in trunks of a handful of different trees and a couple on the ground that pointed me in a general direction, but I wasn¡¯t able to follow them for long. The creatures had taken to the trees and, while I could try to climb every tree and check it for marks, I doubted I could do so before I ran out of supplies and the others ran out of time. Instead, I kept going in the general direction that the original trees the creatures had swarmed up indicated and hoped they hadn¡¯t laid a false trail.

    I also kept my eyes open for any signs of others who might have escaped the creatures¡¯ clutches. There had been some human tracks near where we had fought, but I couldn¡¯t tell if they were from the fight itself or after.

    About a quarter of an hour after leaving behind the last gouged tree I found the first arrow. Someone had drawn it in chalk on the trunk of the tree. It corrected the course I had been going by a few feet. I made a mental note to add chalk to my pack next time. In the ground a few clear footprints had also been made. They looked to be the size and shape that would belong to someone in our group.

    Obviously, someone else had also escaped and found where to go. Like me, they hadn¡¯t waited for anyone else to appear from the shadow paths¡ªit wasn¡¯t practical. In the chaos of the fight, it was unlikely to see someone else disappear into the shadows and, if you did, there was no way to tell if they had already left the shadows before you or not. Not unless we had picked a time or place to gather and there hadn¡¯t been time for that. Better to try to find the others and leave directions for anyone else who might be following after.

    After that, I paid extra attention to tree trunks. Arrow after arrow guided me in the correct direction. The further I went, the more cautious I became. Just in case I accidentally caught up to the spider creatures before I was ready.

    Which was why, when something small flew right toward me out of the branches, I aimed my spear for it first and decided to ask questions later. Rather than being a new spit attack, I got pecked on the nose after Chirp flew around my spear.

    I glared at him from where he perched puffed up on my shoulder. ¡°Next time don¡¯t dive straight at my face right after we got attacked!¡±

    I could tell that he wanted to twitter angrily at me, but he held himself back after he hopped a little to look in the direction he had come from. He settled for biting my ear instead and I had to remind myself why it would be a bad idea to snatch him up and shake him for few minutes.

    Chirp fluttered up from my shoulder to a branch a little further off and looked back at me. I followed him. He took me to a small cluster of bushes that hid a small dip in the land where two low hills met. Fern and Breck met my gaze as I pushed past a handful of prickly, thin branches.

 Book 3 - Ch. 9: Festerlings

    I let Wren¡¯s pack thump down softly next to me as I settled across from the other two. Breck had a large bruise blossoming above her right eye and down across her cheek bone. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if it turned into a black eye, too. She also had a variety of small cuts that I could see, but she didn¡¯t act like she even noticed them. Fern¡¯s right forearm had a bandage tied around it and she had a few smaller cuts that I could see, but overall none of us were terribly injured. Even if my fingers itched to double check the wound under her wrapping, I couldn¡¯t do any more than she had already done.

    They had an extra spear laying behind them along with two knives. So, I wasn¡¯t the only one who had taken time to recover resources.

    Fern nodded at where Chirp had fluttered down onto Wren¡¯s pack. ¡°I¡¯m glad you were able to recover more. I wasn¡¯t sure if anyone else had taken to the shadows and we didn¡¯t have long before the bird insisted on taking us to the festerlings¡¯ hatching ground.¡±

    A handful of questions pressed at me, but rather than waste time with the ones she had partially answered I asked the most pressing one. ¡°Are they close?¡±

    Breck tilted her head to indicate the area behind her. ¡°There¡¯s three more low hills that way. The spiders are in a large tree on the edge of a creek after that.¡±

    I stilled. That wasn¡¯t far as things went. If I had somehow lost track of the arrows I could have been stumbling in the creatures¡¯ base now and been overrun.

    Fern continued Breck¡¯s explanation, ¡°The others are being guarded at the tree¡¯s base. We¡­¡± she trailed off before rallying, ¡°There¡¯s also a family being held with them. Two adults, two children.¡±

    My stomach sank. It¡¯d be difficult enough to rescue our own group members without the addition of four more hostages. If they were all knocked out by the¡­festerlings¡¯ spit then we wouldn¡¯t have nearly enough hands to fight the monsters and drag away the prisoners. The more ruthless side of me insisted that we just leave the unknown group to fend for themselves. The rest of me didn¡¯t like the idea of abandoning the family, especially if they were right next to Wren and Juniper and the others.

    ¡°Did you see Nii and Ulo? How many spider creatures?¡±

    Fern gave me an assessing look as I took control of the conversation again, but she answered the questions. ¡°They were there with the rest. We could count ten, but festerlings are difficult to spot in the forest, especially at night. Best guess? There¡¯s around twenty to thirty of them. That¡¯s how many are said to normally be in a clutch.¡±

    Twenty or thirty of the creatures. Against three of us¡ªand they were a lot harder to hurt. I felt my face settle into the same grim expression they were already wearing. It wasn¡¯t winnable odds. If we could set fire¡ª

    But no. None of us had the ability and, even if we did, the idea would be more than idiotic with all of the goddess¡¯s trees around. She had condemned an entire region just for one tree being harmed; I didn¡¯t want to know what the punishment would be for possibly starting a forest fire.

    I focused on Fern. She knew more than she had said so far. ¡°What else do you know about them?¡±

    The Sapling pressed her lips together before relenting after a few moments. ¡°This is Beastwatcher business, but they must have missed the clutch on their last pass through or the Mad Spinner dropped it after they were gone. Festerlings are her work. Have you heard of the Spinner''s Mark?¡±

    I just gave her a flat look and waited for her to get on with it. Of course, I knew what all the Named blessings were called. I had gone over that scroll in the nested library more than once to learn the ones that hadn¡¯t been forced into my memory during my childhood training.

    Breck also kept silent and gave a flick of her head to let Fern know she should keep going.

    Fern nodded back at us and continued, ¡°I don¡¯t know the full story, but the goddess warped the Spinner¡¯s blessing. That¡¯s why they have those crystallized wounds. They grow and the flesh underneath festers until it kills them. The Spinner can¡¯t make them whole anymore.¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t they fight to kill?¡± Breck this time.

    ¡°They were made to help subdue difficult tribes, defend the border, but not infringe on the goddess¡¯s right. If we were animals they wouldn¡¯t care, I think, but they still follow that basic rule for people even though the Mad Spinner can¡¯t control them anymore, not like she could before her blessing was warped.¡± Fern¡¯s expression became grimmer. ¡°Now their captives die from dehydration or starvation because there¡¯s no one they won¡¯t attack when we try to take them back, unless the Beastwatchers kill the clutch.¡±

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    My voice was dry as I asked my question. ¡°And the Mad Spinner is allowed to roam around despite all of that?¡±

    Fern¡¯s voice grew tight. ¡°The goddess served Her punishment, so she¡¯s beneath Her notice now. She¡¯s no longer recognized as a whisper woman, but no one can overrule the goddess¡¯s judgment. So the Beastwatchers held her, since she had been one of them, but she broke free and has been difficult to catch.¡±

    That didn¡¯t exactly inspire much confidence in that sect of the whisper women. I held in a sigh. ¡°Do you know the festerlings¡¯ weaknesses? I don¡¯t think they can see because they don¡¯t have eyes, but they still were pretty accurate when they attacked us last night.¡±

    Breck shrugged a shoulder. ¡°If they¡¯re anything like the spiders in Haggler¡¯s Cliffs, then they can sense vibrations or heat.¡± She paused before adding, ¡°Or both.¡±

    Fern nodded again. ¡°Both, but I think they have a more limited range on sensing heat. And you have to strike at them on the joints or in the mouth or wounds if you want to have any effect, like I said before. Their spit works fast, but it¡¯s only effective if it touches skin.¡±

    I surveyed our little group, trying to think through the possibilities of how we could fight them or slip the others away underneath the creatures¡¯ notice. ¡°Can you make a rough map of their base?¡±

    Breck set to work using the space between us and the twigs and leaves around us. It would be better if I could see the area with my own eyes, but I didn¡¯t want to risk drawing the festerlings¡¯ attention when they had already surveyed the area.

    Fern frowned at me. ¡°I¡¯ve already sent word now that we know where the hatching grounds are. This isn¡¯t something we can handle, especially not just with the three of us.¡± Chirp twittered irritably and she ignored him. ¡°A hunter squad will be sent as soon as one can be spared.¡±

    ¡°And how long will that be?¡±

    She drew back slightly at the pure ire in my tone before answering, ¡°A day or two at most.¡±

    Breck snorted. ¡°Slow.¡±

    Fern drew herself up. ¡°They know the festerlings won¡¯t kill them outright. There are higher priorities that can¡¯t wait.¡±

    A day or two, possibly more, lost and with little hope of our deadline to find the Rookery adjusted as well. My gaze met Breck¡¯s before she went back to finishing up her makeshift map.

    We weren¡¯t going to just idle away the time here waiting for the whisper women to show up. Not if there was a chance we could take care of the problem sooner. Not when Wren and Juniper¡­and Nii, Ulo, the men, and the family were all being drugged senseless on monster spit.

    Breck started pointing out the general lay of the land to me. The main, large tree by the creek¡¯s bank, the way the creek had carved some of the ground free from around the tree¡¯s roots, the various other smaller trees and bushes around. I got out my scenario practice stones and started to work through different options.

    Perhaps we couldn¡¯t take on all the festerlings in a frontal assault, but that didn¡¯t mean we were completely useless. Rawley hadn¡¯t taught me traps and poisons and repeated ¡®everything is a resource¡¯ more times than I could count for no reason. Breck had her weapon and hunting skills honed through what seemed like a whole childhood¡¯s worth of experience. The festerlings¡¯ senses would make things more difficult but we could still sneak around, make preparations.

    If Fern deigned to help us, she had all of the goddess¡¯s boons and more control with shadow walking. I didn¡¯t know much about her other skills, but she was in her fifth year at the Seedling Palace. That had to translate into at least a decent amount of skill and experience.

    I glanced to the side where Chirp was hopping on Wren¡¯s pack. Perhaps the little glutton could be of use too.

    I smiled, just a little, as a plan started to form in my mind. It might not be the safest or easiest course of action, but I didn¡¯t think I could sit in this little clump of bushes for the next two days and not do something more reckless. The spider creatures needed to be taken care of and it didn¡¯t sit well to wait for a random group of whisper women to come rescue us.

    I was a Sprout now. I had made it through Flickermark. I had fought sea monsters on the shore. I could take care of a couple dozen wooden spiders. Not in a fair fight, but I could do it.

    Besides, they needed to be paid back for the cloudy, sickening terror I felt after I was poisoned with their spit. No one and nothing got away with messing with my mind without my permission.

    Breck sat back from the map, watching me. ¡°Got an idea?¡±

    I tilted my head to the side. ¡°What do you think about rescuing Wren, Nii, and the healer while I distract the monsters?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Can you do it?¡±

    My smile turned a bit sardonic. ¡°I won¡¯t die and I¡¯ll do my best not to get caught.¡± I shifted my gaze over to Fern. ¡°It¡¯ll be easier if I can travel through the shadows.¡±

    She crossed her arms. ¡°This is an unnecessary risk.¡±

    ¡°You said arriving at the Rookery without the whole group reflects badly on our performance. I assume getting rescued by a hunter squad reflects badly too?¡±

    Her jaw clenched. ¡°This is beyond the scope of the test and your skill.¡±

    ¡°Only one way to find out.¡±

    She didn¡¯t respond, but I thought if I kept pressing her, little by little, she¡¯d give in. If only so she didn¡¯t have to feel guilty about being the only one to do nothing when the team she was supposed to be watching over was nearly all captured.

    So I told them the details of the plan before I slipped out of the bushes to quietly go collect some of the bloated graspers I had seen on my way through the woodland.

 Book 3 - Ch. 10: Traps and Tribulations

    Fern kept a firm hand on me and at least one foot in a pine tree¡¯s shadow while I smeared the last of the viscous mixture I made on the side of the tree trunk. Bloated grasper sap, water, and animal glue made for an easy mixture that would hopefully help hold any festerlings in place that came in contact with it. At the very least the sticky substance should help slow the creatures down.

    The main disappointment with this particular trap was that I didn¡¯t have nearly enough to spread it over all the trees in the area I wanted. The bloated grasper pods had each been about the size of my head but, even with the water and animal glue to spread the sticky substance further, I had only gotten some of the branches and trunks on about twenty different trees. All on the opposite side of the festerlings¡¯ grounds from the creek.

    That was what Breck would use to hide her body heat and rescue the others she could carry once my traps were all set. We wouldn¡¯t be able to get everyone on this first run, but that was to be expected. If we could rescue the three that would be the most useful and thin the creatures¡¯ numbers then it would be a success.

    A branch creaked, and Fern and I tensed. Ready to disappear back into the shadow paths at a moment¡¯s notice. The festerlings might be difficult to spot, but their bodies still could be too heavy for some of the branches they chose to perch on. I had a low grade headache from straining my ears for the slightest out of place sound for the past hour.

    I eyed my work and then gave Fern a slight nod. She dragged me back into the tree¡¯s shadow. A handful of moments of disorientation and then we were back in the mist and oil sheen world of the shadow paths.

    Perhaps I was spoiled from the handful of times a whisper woman had transported me through the paths, but there was a definite difference in quality between traveling with them and the Sapling. The disorientation with her took a little longer to recover from and rather than a sense of slipping into the shadow or falling, it felt more like she was tearing her way through. It also took her longer to pick out the shadow she wanted to exit from, and there had been one time when she was leading me to one that she had to stop, reorient herself, and pick a different one.

    All in all, it gave me a bit more perspective and pride in my own efforts. If she could still struggle with the boon, then perhaps my own progress with it wasn¡¯t completely abysmal. Besides, I thought my transitions in and out of the shadows were smoother than hers even if they did send me sprawling from different unexpected angles when I left the shadow paths half the time.

    She caught me watching her and a displeased look pinched her face. ¡°I won¡¯t have the concentration to take you through the paths much more today. Not without rest.¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°That was the last sticky trap. We¡¯ve already placed the claw traps and trip wires I was able to make. Now I just need to apply the poison to our weapons and we¡¯ll be ready. If we leave the traps too long the surprise might be ruined.¡±

    Fern¡¯s look shifted to something something closer to disquiet at my words, but she didn¡¯t say anything. While the skills Rawley had gifted me were clearly helpful in our current situation, she had been a bit put off since I revealed my fledging proficiency with traps and poisons. She also didn¡¯t like that I had pressured her into helping Breck and me before the hunter squad arrived. ¡®Futile effort¡¯ were the words she used before Fern grudgingly agreed to take me through the shadow paths.

    A minute later and we were back in the woodland, only a couple dozen steps from our hiding place. We slipped through the bushes. Breck was inside the small hollow checking over her weapons while Chirp monitored the surrounding area. I had put him charge of watching over our supplies for the price of a sleet beetle a day because I knew Wren would never forgive me if I accidentally got her bird killed. And there weren¡¯t a lot of useful things he could or would do without Wren there to convince him.

    I checked the bowl of Traveler¡¯s Catch paste I had made from the cuttings I had made in the seedling garden. It wasn¡¯t nearly as potent as I knew it could be if I could boil the stems and thorns, especially if I also had ripple leaf bark, but the plant as it was could induce muscle cramps for a short period. That was an advantage I wanted against the many limbed festerlings.

    The paste had set, so I carefully spread a small amount across my spear head before moving on to my knife and the others¡¯ weapons. Fern took the chance for a short rest and Breck watched my handling of her weapons with a careful eye. In addition to her spear and knife, I put the small amount of leftover paste onto her throwing needles. The needles might not do a lot of harm, but I trusted her aim to get one in a creature if she needed to slow it down. I also added the Traveler¡¯s Catch to the weapons we scavenged. I planned on taking an extra spear and knife with me. It might be a bit unwieldy, but I had practiced the night before with the extra weight and I could still run well enough with the weapons. If I had to travel across the goddess¡¯s territory with the extra things it wouldn¡¯t work, but our hit and run plan wasn¡¯t focused on endurance.

    Once our preparations were complete, Breck and Fern left for the stream and I snuck off for the obstacle course I had created for the spider creatures. If things went according to plan, Fern would transport one person to our hideout while Breck grabbed the other two and I distracted the festerlings. If there was time before the festerlings noticed the theft, Fern would grab a fourth person and transport them as well before helping Breck.

    At first she had been adamant about joining me on distraction duty, but I rightfully pointed out that the whole point of what we were doing was to rescue the others and her ability to travel through the shadow paths would be more helpful there. Besides, if for some reason the festerlings didn¡¯t pull their punches when trying to capture me, I would survive it with or without her help, but that wasn¡¯t a guarantee for everyone else on the rescue of the mission.

    Not that I was that keen on getting captured. Since I had more time to process what had happened during the fight, I realized that the state the creatures¡¯ saliva induced was similar to when I had been frozen. Still able to move and more muddled awareness, but similar to the times when my mind had drifted during those long days and nights of immobility. I didn¡¯t like it.

    So I did what I could to keep their spit from my skin. Despite the somewhat warmer weather, I dug my cloak and gloves out of the bottom of my pack to wear. I wanted a mask, but I didn¡¯t have one handy or materials to make it, so I settled for tying an extra cord around my hood, so it couldn¡¯t accidentally slip back. My tunic and pants were already long sleeved, so they got tucked into my gloves and boots.

    If the creatures¡¯ spit got me it would because I stuck my face in the way of the offending stuff or they managed to saturate my clothes. I was determined to avoid both options if I could.

    I slipped as close the festerlings¡¯ camp as I dared. It wasn¡¯t quite close enough to actually see the tree and captives by the creek, since that lay on the other side of the wide low hill, but I was confident that at least one festerling was likely hidden close by. If I pushed closer without the cover of the river I would be spotted before I was ready, if I hadn¡¯t been already.

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    I took a brief breath to take stock of my nearby traps, nothing too crazy this close to the festerlings¡¯ base, but the tree I was hiding behind had a good helping of the sticky mixture as well as one a little way away. The further from the base the more I had been able to set up without fear of being caught.

    The creatures liked to surround and ambush their prey. If I saw one before I began to run it would likely be too late. I stood up from my crouch, spear in hand, knees bent, ready to run.

    Then I screamed. Long and loud enough that Breck and Fern should be able to hear it from their spot in the creek.

    The air thrummed from screeches too high for me to hear and I ran. The festerlings had the advantage of terrain as they jumped and scrambled from tree to tree, but I had the advantage of preparation this time around. I ran past sticky trees, dodged under line traps, stepped around a claw trap. The air kept thrumming with the screams of thwarted festerlings as I heard scuttling coming to an abrupt stop and one thud to the ground after it got clotheslined by a trip wire tied between branches.

    A dark wooden body with too many limbs dropped in front of me in the late afternoon sun. The festerling¡¯s face split open while I used my momentum to drive the spear I was holding deep into the crystallized wound on its human shaped abdomen. It shrieked and stumbled to the side. I dodged past and abandoned the spear. Hopefully we could retrieve it later, but for now I had to do what I could to avoid being cornered.

    Rather than pull my second spear out of its holder, I vaulted over a fallen log using my free hands. Saliva plopped down on my hood as I ran around another tree. Risking a look back, I saw four festerlings hurtling through the woods after me. Not as many as I hoped, but perhaps at least a handful of others had been caught in my traps. Hopefully, Breck and Fern had a chance to rescue the others we needed.

    A festerling hurtled into the trunk of a sticky tree as I ducked below it and kept running. It stopped giving chase as the creature had to contend with trying to pull two of its legs and part of its body free. The trap wouldn¡¯t keep it in place forever, but it had more than done its job.

    I grinned as I kept bobbing and weaving through the trees; doing my best to lead the creatures where my traps were laid thickly.

    My cloak snagged on something and I was jerked backwards as my momentum abruptly came to a stop. My shoulders hit hard on an exposed tree root, but I ignored the pain and scrambled to my knees. I would have stood, but the tension in the cloak didn¡¯t allow for that. Stomach sinking, I twisted to see what it caught on, and pulled out my spear just in case.

    The spear point skittered across a wooden body before glancing off the edge of a crystallized wound. I repositioned the spear under on arm, to hold it level and steady, while I reached up to unclasp my cloak from my throat.

    Which was when I realized my mistake. By tying the extra cord around the cloak¡¯s hood I couldn¡¯t get rid of the cloak as easily as I had the spear. Even with it unclasped the cord held the cloak in place and the knot wasn¡¯t one I could easily slip free.

    The festerling ignored my spear and went to knock me to the ground like they had with the fire starter the night before. I gritted my teeth and set the spear-butt against the ground, aiming for the creature¡¯s horrid mouth. The spearhead dug into flesh as the festerling¡¯s triangle fingers latched onto my shoulders.

    Another one hit me from the side. My hip screamed in pain as I was shoved sideways into my spear. For a moment I couldn¡¯t breathe and then the spear shaft broke, my cloak tore free, and my head slammed into the ground just shy of a root. I could hear my blood pulse, feel it in my cheek and forehead.

    It took longer than should for me to realize that the creatures had gotten tangled with each other. I twisted free on one grasping hand and levered myself up again.

    Running, feeling half blind, I tugged at the knotted cord holding my storming cloak in place. The knot was tied well. It held.

    Cursing, I pulled one knife free, pulled the cord as far from my throat as I could, and slipped the knife in the gap. A new sharp pain bloomed along my jaw as I accidentally cut it, but the cord broke. A few tugs later and it and my cloak were abandoned on the ground.

    I had lost track of my obstacle course and I almost stepped in my own claw trap before awkwardly hopping over it. Stumbling on the landing, I nearly fell again, and that¡¯s what saved me from a new festerling that had jumped for me. It landed on the claw trap and the legs of its dead brethren snapped closed on its torso with enough force to puncture small holes in its wooden armor. The creature tried to haul itself after me, but the thick cord tied to the trap¡¯s base and the trunk of the tree prevented the move.

    I kept running.

    Or at least, I tried to. But the awkward landing had hurt my ankle more than I thought and my foot rolled. Back on the ground, I tried to rise before another festerling could come but my hip wasn¡¯t having it.

    The festerling caught in the claw trap snapped its jaws on the cord holding it in place and sheared through the braided vines. Then it leaped for me.

    I rolled out of the way. The air thrummed with its shriek as it missed.

    I glared at it.

    Knife in hand, back up stuck in my belt. The creature was between me and the closest shadow I could disappear into. I no longer had head protection against the creature¡¯s spit. Running was no longer an option, but I could storming well make myself hobble, crawl, or roll to that shadow if nothing else.

    It whirled toward me and I dove between its legs. Not quite to the shadow.

    But there was a crystallized wound, raw and gaping, staring me in the face. Not one to waste an opportunity, I stabbed it. The knife sank in easily, more easily than it had when I attacked these wounds in the past. This wound was older though¡­bigger and more festered.

    Pus popped onto my face and I gagged as the creature thrashed.

    I stabbed it again. And again. It was too close to try for the shadow again and if I killed it that would be one less for us to deal with later.

    The festerling tried to scuttle off of me as I stabbed it a fourth time, but I pressed my good foot into the edge of its wound, clawed my free hand into the edge near my head, ignoring the way the crystal bit into my skin, and held on as I continued to attack it. If I was underneath it, it couldn¡¯t easily grab me or use its spit. The disadvantages of having a melded body.

    I cut and stabbed as the creature thrashed and stumbled around. It tried to slam me into the ground to daze me from my hold a few times, but I gritted my teeth and held on. Besides, the poison seemed to be working by that point, since it didn''t seem to be moving as well as it had. Near the end, it got a hold of my hair with one hand and nearly pulled me free, but the slight change in positioning helped me hit something I hadn¡¯t before when I stabbed one last desperate time.

    The air thrummed as the creature shrieked again and shuddered. Then it slumped alarmingly to the side¡ªand I had one brief moment of victory before I realized that the dying creature¡¯s weight had trapped my bad leg beneath it. I struggled to heave it off of me, but I didn¡¯t have the leverage I had when I freed my spear during the night. Wooden spider abdomen pressed my back and shoulders into the ground until I only had a thin air space to see the ground beyond the spider¡¯s bleeding body.

    Scuttling sounds came from the trees around me and I froze. My leg was sticking out from under the body, but the rest of my body had been trapped in an awkward crouch beneath it, pressed up into the wound. I froze. There was no way I could get myself free and battle ready in time to fight another festerling. Or more.

    Perhaps, if I just stayed still enough they would think I was dying with their brethren and lose interest. I closed my eyes and breathed as shallowly as I could. Willing them to go away.

    I heard multiple creatures move around me. One prodded my foot and drooled a whole puddle over my leg, but the treated hide resisted the wetness, for now at least. I could feel the vibrations as they chittered and screeched at each other, but they seemed reluctant to move the body. Or perhaps they didn¡¯t really register things that were losing body heat or that didn''t cause vibrations. If they could even sense their own body heat through the thick wooden layer.

    I was starting to think that they would hang around me forever when they all suddenly rushed off. Probably Breck¡¯s own distraction she had planned to draw them off me, so that I could escape more easily once they had rescued who they could. Which had been a wonderful plan until I couldn¡¯t move.

    I glared as best as I could at the wooden armor pressing against the side of my face. One way or another I¡¯d get the storming thing off of me before the others had a chance to return.

 Book 3 - Ch. 11: Price of Determination

    Prevna¡¯s parting words came back to me as I lay trapped underneath the idiotic dead festerling. And with them, the memory of her hug.

    Claustrophobia didn¡¯t claw at me like it would have if I was in a narrow space or structure despite there being significantly less room for me to move in my current position. I could see the sunlight filtering down through the woodland¡¯s branches a bare foot from my face. I knew there was wide open space all around me¡ªas long as I could get free of the body.

    Nothing was reminiscent of that particular tent or judging eyes or the other memories that liked to ambush me when they could. If there had been, I doubted Prevna¡¯s well meaning actions could have broken into my thoughts. The memories would have been too overwhelming.

    Granted, if the festerling¡¯s delirium inducing spit managed to soak through my pant leg or find a crack, the pressure of being pinned and crushed might trigger the reaction anyway. The thought of Fern or Breck finding me trapped in one of the memories was even less appealing than one of them having to free me from being pinned.

    It couldn¡¯t be allowed to happen.

    As it was though, I was stuck with few options and the distracting memory of Prevna instead. It was¡­disconcerting to realize that she had slipped into the same category in my mind as Rawley and Fellen. Touch tolerated and sometimes even comforting, connection dangerously close but I wasn¡¯t able to entirely cut it, didn¡¯t want to, and they were reliable. I didn¡¯t have to watch every move and mood to guess where the situation might be going next. Even if they did surprise me, I could tru¡ªthey probably wouldn¡¯t intentionally hurt me.

    Not unless I struck the first blow.

    My mouth tasted sour then, and I deliberately set the uncomfortable thoughts aside to focus on my current problem. My spit soaked leg with the bad ankle was the biggest contributor keeping me in place, but it was also keeping the festerling¡¯s body partially off the ground and off balance. That could give me the leverage I needed to get free.

    There was also the question of which direction I should try to escape to. The festerling had moved while I was stabbing it and I had been too focused on staying in place and killing it that I hadn¡¯t been able to track how close or far it had died to a pine tree¡¯s shadow. I could be where one fell now, but with the festerling¡¯s body and shadow blocking my access to it. Or we could be in one of the open patches between the trees. The sunlight I could see indicated the latter, but I tried to will myself into the shadow covering me anyways.

    Nothing happened. Not that that was surprising given that it hadn¡¯t felt like a gateway.

    If I couldn¡¯t slip into the shadow paths, then rolling free was my best bet. Since I could see the ground to my left I decided to roll in that direction when I got the chance. Better clear ground I could see than risk trapping myself further for a shadow that might not be there.

    I tried to rock the creature with my current position, but the way my leg and arm were bent to hold onto the festerling¡¯s shell didn¡¯t let me put much strength into the side-to-side motion.

    I grimaced and did my best not to think what I was pressing through as I pressed my left leg up into the festering wound. It was one thing to deal with wounds when I was healing and a very different thing to feel things slip and squish against my foot until it pressed up against the inner back of the creature¡¯s shell.

    With my leg fully extended, and my bruised hip protesting, I could lift some of the creature¡¯s oppressive weight off of me. There was bit of blind fumbling as I attempted to slip my knife back into my belt and, after nicking my leg once, I got it into its sheath. Then I used both hands to properly hold onto the edge of the festerling¡¯s wound and start to rock back and forth.

    I gritted my teeth against the blunt pain of the festerling¡¯s dense bulk grinding back and forth against my shin. I could get myself out of this stupid situation.

    Left and right. Left and right until the spider abdomen was lifting as far as it could in either direction until the opposite side hit the ground. It wasn¡¯t much, but it would have to be enough for this step.

    On the last side-to-side rock, I heaved upward as much as could with my good leg. As soon as I felt the weight lift from my bad one, I pulled it towards me and pressed my newly free foot up against the festerling¡¯s body. There hadn¡¯t been enough height or time for me to roll free. This way though I had more power and leverage to create both.

    I pulled my good leg free of the body and got it placed on the festerling¡¯s underside just as my bad ankle threated to buckle. I gritted my teeth and kept both feet in place. Despite my body vocally protesting the activity, between using both my legs and arms I was able to shove the body one direction and then quickly roll in the other.

    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    Warm sunlight blinded me for a moment as the body thumped down a handful of inches from my face. Just to add insult to injury, one the spider legs hit me in the side. It wasn¡¯t hard enough to bruise, but my mood soured further.

    I laid there a few moments longer than I should, savoring the feeling of freedom. A sense that was quickly ruined when I tried to stand and walk away from the dangerous area. I went down just as quickly as I went up.

    My ankle refused to take any more weight and I could tell that a large bruise was developing on my shin. My hip, the one that had been shoved sideways through a spear shaft, refused to be the sole bearer of my weight.

    I hit the ground in pure frustration. My inability to walk wasn¡¯t exactly novel given that I seemed to have a tendency to hurt my legs and all my years as a healer¡¯s apprentice had warned against the continued abuse. But I had needed to get out from under the body and now I needed to get out of the area.

    Being so vulnerable out from under the body was worse than still being trapped under it, in terms of pure physical protection. The festerlings that had been reluctant to investigate their dead brethren would have easy access to me now if they came back.

    I could hole up in the shadow paths, but I couldn¡¯t use them to get back to our little base, to shorten the distance, and I wouldn¡¯t be able to spend the time in them to heal on my own. Especially without healing craft. With how badly I twisted my ankle and bruised my hip, they¡¯d probably take weeks to heal on their own. Depending on how terribly I had hurt them, if I kept abusing them, and how good the healer was, they might not be fully healed by the time our deadline to find the Rookery was due. I¡¯d need sleep. More likely, if I chose to hide out in the shadow paths, I¡¯d be able to stay just long enough for my bruises to make my joints stiffen and limit mobility even further.

    So much for any plans I had of actively participating in the next rescue mission. Those had just been dashed. Not that that meant I wouldn¡¯t find a way for the storming festerlings to pay. I didn¡¯t like that we were losing time and resources that we might need on our hunt for the Rookery.

    I scowled and let a harsh breath out through my nose.

    So.

    Either I found something to help support my weight so I could walk or I had to face the indignity of crawling back to our hideout. There was also the chance of Fern or Breck coming to find me, but I didn¡¯t want to wait here or be rescued.

    I had come up with the plan; I didn¡¯t want to undermine it or prove myself incompetent by being the only one to be unable to follow through.

    I swept my gaze around the area but I didn¡¯t find convenient branches or sturdy sticks that the festerlings might have knocked loose. Then my gaze fell on the slapdash claw trap I had made with festerling legs. Those ones had been cut down to size to use in the trap from the bodies of our first fight with the creatures, but the festerling I killed still had all its legs attached.

    And one of those legs had hit me.

    It didn¡¯t take me long to cut through the joint with my knife. After that I used some of the torn vines from the trap to help tie the second joint in place. I left its ankle joint alone since letting the foot bend would give me more balance.

    Everything was a resource and all that.

    My hip still protested when I went to stand again, but with the addition of the spider leg I didn¡¯t collapse into a heap.

    I kept as close to the trees¡¯ shadows as I could as I painfully, slowly, made my way back towards our hideout.

    - -

    I stared a bit blankly at the empty stand of bushes. My mind felt numb from aching pain and fatigue, but I knew this was the correct cluster. Two low hills forming a dip that held bushes with prickly thin branches. But there was no supplies and no one inside.

    I lowered myself carefully to the ground as I tried to process through what might have happened.

    If the festerlings had found the spot they wouldn¡¯t have taken the supplies as well. They didn¡¯t have a use for them. The supplies should also have still been there if everyone had been captured by them.

    Which meant someone had moved them¡­and that hadn¡¯t been part of the plan. I didn¡¯t want to believe the others would have abandoned me. Not that it seemed likely after Breck¡¯s distraction and the fact I thought it would take longer for those that had been captured to come back to themselves. Breck and Fern would be painfully slowed down if they left me while still dealing with unconscious or disorientated people.

    They could have also abandoned the location due to safety reasons. It wasn''t that far from the festerlings¡¯ nesting ground. But I wasn¡¯t in the condition to track them down. If there were even tracks.

    Frustration bubbled behind my ribs. At least, it would be easier for Breck or Fern to find me here and not nearly as humiliating.

    I dragged myself and my makeshift walking stick into the small space hidden by the bushes before letting myself collapse completely onto the ground. I wasn¡¯t looking forward to the weeks left of travel we had to do.

    I took a bit of time to wipe what spit I could off my pant leg and then, even though I knew better, I slipped into a doze.

    It could have been minutes or hours later when I heard the bushes rustle. My hand went to my knife and pulled it free before I was fully aware. That¡¯s when I saw Fern, my knife a few inches from her nose.

    I let my head thump back to the ground and put my knife away. ¡°You¡¯re here.¡±

    She let out a long breath, somewhere between annoyance and startled by my reaction. ¡°You look terrible.¡±

    That was hardly surprising between the injuries I sustained, and festerling blood and guts. So I ignored her comment to ask, ¡°Did you get everyone?¡±

    Fern smiled a little. ¡°We got one more than we expected, but you¡¯ll see that when we get back to the new camp. The festerlings started scouting the area more after we attacked.¡±

    ¡°Shadow paths?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°I rested some, so I can take you back that way.¡±

    I did my best to leave the bushes as quietly and skillfully as possible, so she wouldn¡¯t notice how injured I was. Between my stiffened joints, a handful of muttered curses, and the need to wrangle the festerling leg through the bushes after me, I don¡¯t think that particular mission was as successful as I pretended it to be.

    When Fern¡¯s eyebrows raised at my makeshift walking stick I just glowered back at her and said, ¡°It needed it less than I did.¡±

    Then she held out her hand, I took it, and she pulled me into the shadow paths.

 Book 3 - Ch. 12: Emotional Intelligence

    The new hideout turned out to be a hollow in the side of the bank of the same stream that swept by the festerlings¡¯ nesting grounds much further down. The exposed roots of a tree held the ceiling together while a large, built up cluster of branches and stones helped divert the stream away from the hollow it had initially carved. The bank was steep and tall here, higher than my head, but that meant that the hollow was comfortable enough to stand in for most of the group. If we needed to hide from the festerlings everyone could fit inside, though it would be cramped.

    Which made me realize that our first hiding place in the bushes would have been much too small for everyone even if the festerlings¡¯ increased ranging hadn¡¯t driven us away. It was something I should have realized when I first developed our rescue plan, but I had been more focused on proving to Fern that we could do it, rather than the consequences of doubling our group after.

    Still more clever than smart. Not that you ever learn what you should.

    I did what I could to focus on my new predicament rather than the bitter phantom of her words.

    Fern had brought us out of a shadow on top of the stream¡¯s bank, rather than on the pebbled sandbar in front of the hollow. And my legs were still more than ready to give up on me after the strain I put them through. What would normally be a slight challenge to get down to the sandbar now looked like an nearly insurmountable challenge.

    Fern made it look easy enough. A light step there, a sure step there, grip an exposed root to keep her balance while she half swung down the last few feet. When she looked back at me to see if I had made any progress I was still where she had let go of my hand, trying to make it look like I wasn¡¯t gripping my improvised walking stick like a lifeline.

    I didn¡¯t doubt that she knew that I was hurt, but either she sorely underestimated the difficulty of getting down a steep embankment, or she was seeing how far I could be pushed before I asked for help.

    Logically, I knew I should, even if it made me look weak. Just like I knew, logically, that I had already strained my ankle and hip more than I should and I would look just as much, if not more, a fool if I fell into the stream on my way down. Which was currently the most likely outcome.

    But I had gotten this far on my own already, and not even Rawley, with all of her patience, had been able to force me to ask for help. I edged closer to the bank¡¯s edge. It didn¡¯t look any more promising from the new angle.

    Perhaps I could make some excuse about keeping watch up here? Slide down later when no one was looking?

    The idea was tempting, but Fern didn¡¯t look like she would accept it. Not when this felt like a challenge; a small way for her to prove that my insistence on rescuing a few people before the hunter squad arrived wasn¡¯t all benefit.

    Fine.

    I couldn¡¯t blithely hop down the embankment like she could, but I wasn¡¯t useless. Sliding down wasn¡¯t the most dignified, but it sorely beat tumbling into the water or asking for her help like some toddler who couldn¡¯t walk proper yet.

    I wasn¡¯t in the mood to be smart, so clever would have to do.

    It was tempting to glare at her the entire way down, but instead I put my attention toward keeping my weight off my bad ankle and making sure I didn¡¯t lose control of my speed and tumble head-over-heels anyway.

    She did get a perfunctory glower when I stood up on the sandbank¡ªcareful to keep the majority of my weight on the festerling leg. Then I did my best to march past her, though it came out as more of a limp, and finally took in everyone waiting in the hollow.

    Breck had noted my descent with a keen look from where she was keeping watch on the opposite side of the hollow¡¯s entrance. She gave me an acknowledging nod, but otherwise kept her focus where it should be. She looked more banged up then she had before, but her wounds had also been treated.

    The reason for that was evident in the hollow. Sid, the healer, was bent over the form of a small boy. Clearly, he had already recovered from the confused, lethargic state the festerlings¡¯ saliva induced and had gotten to work quickly. I gave the bandages and salves I could see a quick once over, but, irritatingly, there wasn¡¯t anything I could easily nitpick. Then again, if there had been, that likely would have been even worse.

    The boy must be the fourth, unexpected rescue then. From the family that had been caught. He looked like he was about the twins¡¯ age.

    My lips pressed together at that realization and I turned my attention to the two remaining people in the cave. Wren and Nii. Wren was sitting, leaning back against the wall, while Chirp snuggled against her neck for all he was worth and cooed out a soft, bell-like song. She looked tired, but not overly harmed. Nii stood against the opposite wall, head just shy of the root bound ceiling, restlessly alert like always, but also more on edge than normal. Like she expected to be jumped or berated any time someone looked over at her.

    I didn¡¯t like seeing her afraid, even if I had been the cause of most of her discomfort since my blessing was revealed. It didn¡¯t suit her.

    As it was, Nii noticed me notice her and gave me a tight, reluctant nod before doubling down on the piece of clothing she was fixing.

    Fern strode past and gestured to me. ¡°Sid, treat her.¡±

    He looked up from the boy and took in my scratched and bruised form. I did what I could not to be obvious about the weight I was putting on the festerling leg rather than my own, but I could tell he marked it. The healer scrambled to his feet and bustled over to me as I lowered myself to the ground at the hollow¡¯s entrance, opposite of Breck.

    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

    I let his skittish fussing wash over me as he checked over my injuries. He even tried to to lecture me about walking on my ankle, but it wasn¡¯t anything I didn¡¯t already know. Nii kept glancing over as he treated me, but I did my best not to confirm the rumors that had been circling around since my trial. She already knew about my blessing and given her reaction to that she didn¡¯t need to know about my past as a healer¡¯s daughter. Luckily, Sid¡¯s technique was¡­passable and I had enough presence of mind to hold my tongue with he made a mixture with a couple plants I didn¡¯t recognize. It helped, too, that I wanted distance from his nervous energy as soon as possible.

    By the time I was bandaged and treated to Sid¡¯s satisfaction¡ªI would have been done twice as fast with the amount of double and triple checking he did¡ªit was dark out and the others were chewing on cold rations. No fire tonight, not while we were within the festerlings¡¯ territory.

    The boy had woken up during that time too, scared stiff to be separated from his family and surrounded by black lipped young women when the last thing he remembered was being attacked by spider creatures. Whisper women weren¡¯t exactly a comforting presence, they were too distant and connected to the goddess for that, and we might as well have been full whisper women in the boy¡¯s eyes.

    But Wren, being herself, had broken through his fear easily enough and was now distracting him with Chirp¡¯s help. He giggled, of all things, as Chirp graciously accepted his latest treat.

    I got my own travel rations and then it was time to deal with the fact my clothes were a mess after my run-ins with the festerlings. I didn¡¯t have the energy to wash them, not tonight, but sleep wouldn¡¯t come easy in the stiff and smelly fabric. So I edged myself around the corner of the hollow and over a few feet to the sandbar¡¯s edge and slowly, painfully began to change clothes. Better the illusion of privacy than giving them all a clear idea of how hurt I was. Of course, Sid could easily spill what he knew, but I didn¡¯t want to show off the huge bruise that was forming on my hip or how I had to wriggle into my pants rather than stand up and put one leg in at a time like a normal person.

    Fern took first watch that night as the rest of us packed into the hollow. I made sure to be against the wall so that contact was limited. Still, somehow the boy ended up next to me with Wren on his other side. It would have been nice not to have the awkward distraction of her close by for one night. The boy didn¡¯t look thrilled to be near me either, but Wren smiled at me, tucked him in close, and fell asleep shortly after.

    Then, just as I was drifting off myself, he breathed out a question, ¡°Was it really your idea to rescue us?¡±

    I cracked open my eyes just enough to glower at him.

    He shrank back into Wren, before he quietly rallied. ¡°You don¡¯t look like you¡¯d want to rescue anyone.¡± A pause and then, ¡°And I¡¯m nearly as big as you.¡±

    My glower intensified before old, nearly forgotten skills dredged themselves up in my memory. Sometimes the twins had been scared of the shadows at night, sometimes she had actually been harsh with one of them and they were both too distraught to sleep. I wasn¡¯t comfortable enough with the kid to rub his back or run my fingers through his hair the way Adley had liked, but Kem had been partial to stories. I didn¡¯t have the energy to tell one now, but sometimes the promise of one had been enough.

    I whispered, ¡°Looks can be deceiving. I¡¯ll tell you how I got one of those creatures in the morning if you go to sleep now.¡±

    His eyes widened. ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Really.¡±

    He thought for a bit before asking one more question, ¡°Will you save my parents and sister, too?¡±

    I noticed with mild amusement that Ulo had been left out, but it wouldn¡¯t surprise me if he didn¡¯t know that she was captive too. Despite my injuries, I didn¡¯t let the silence hang for long before answering his question. ¡°We won¡¯t leave them to rot.¡±

    At his stricken look, I realized I could have worded that better, but I didn¡¯t bother with taking the statement back. It got the point across. ¡°Go to sleep.¡±

    I pointedly shut my own eyes and thankfully, I wasn¡¯t bothered again until it my turn to take watch. Waking up to Nii poking me with a twig wasn¡¯t really much better than the boy¡¯s questions, but I would take what I could get.

    Not that I had to be pleasant about it.

    I rubbed my hands over my face as I sat up. ¡°You¡¯re not going to become life ridden just by touching me.¡±

    Her face pinched together, but she kept whatever she wanted to say to herself.

    My joints were very displeased to be moving again, but I kept the pain off my face as I slipped around her and settled on the sandbar. Not my most elegant of moves, but it worked. I thought she might take the opportunity to get a few more hours of sleep, but she dashed that bit of hope by turning toward me.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you walk?¡±

    I tapped my swollen ankle. ¡°Been warned off it for now.¡± Then just to goad her, ¡°Unless you want to help hold me up?¡±

    She shook her head, half exasperated, half disbelieving.

    I gestured to the hollow. ¡°Then go sleep.¡±

    Nii stayed where she was and stared at me. I did my best to ignore her and keep my own gaze up on the trees lining the stream, but the seconds kept passing by and my patience had worn very, very thin.

    ¡°What?¡± I snapped.

    She hesitated, so I turned to glare at her. ¡°Are you waiting to be blamed for slipping away in the night and making us chase after you and Ulo? Hurting our chances of getting to the Rookery in time? For being caught by the festerlings? Because I can do all that, but stop being flinching scared. It¡¯s annoying and it doesn¡¯t suit you.¡±

    She didn¡¯t¡­recoil at my tirade, but she did draw back, shock widening her eyes. For several long heartbeats I was being stared at again, before she dropped her head into her hands and sighed. When she lifted her head again she had the weakest of smiles on her face.

    It was my turn to blink in surprise. Whatever else, I hadn¡¯t ever expected her to smile at me.

    ¡°Why did you pick me to be one of the first rescued?¡±

    Well, it seemed like Fern or Breck had been blabbing to anyone who would listen about my plans.

    I turned back to the scenery. ¡°Your mark. Being able to hit their small weak points with accuracy to immobilize or take out the festerlings seemed like a practical asset to have.¡±

    She was quiet for another handful of heartbeats before she asked, ¡°And your mark? You really don¡¯t think it makes you life ridden?¡±

    I let my head fall back against the steep embankment. ¡°My mentor thinks that She is keeping me close to Her. In a state of dying. Not life.¡±

    ¡°What do you think? We all know our blessings best.¡± There was a bit of censure in her voice.

    I looked at her sidelong. ¡°I know I won¡¯t die, but if someone doesn¡¯t treat me, I¡¯m not sure I¡¯ll live either.¡± I swallowed, remembering my time being frozen. ¡°Not in any meaningful way. Not like we are now.¡±

    Nii looked a bit thoughtful and conflicted and confused, like she had a dozen more questions she was gearing up to ask me, but I had woken up only a handful of minutes ago and I was tired and sore and not in the mood to be understanding.

    I rubbed a hand over my face again and focused back on the trees I was supposed to be watching. ¡°Go away.¡±

    She hesitated for another moment before she slipped further into the hollow.

    Finally.

    I enjoyed the quiet, relative solitude while I could before the others began waking up with the dawn.

 Book 3 - Ch. 13: At the Hollow

    Wren lightly pushed the boy closer to me. ¡°He said you owe him a story. Entertain him while I wash these.¡±

    She hefted a bundle of dirty clothes higher on her hip that she had stolen from beside my pack. I had left them there so they wouldn¡¯t contaminate my other things until I had a chance to wash them myself.

    ¡°You¡ªI¡ª¡± I felt the heat rising along my neck and swallowed to regain control of my words.

    ¡°Those are mine.¡±

    She waved my statement off. ¡°I¡¯d be fixing Breck¡¯s things too if she hadn¡¯t gotten to hers already. Fair is fair, since you both risked your necks to save us.¡±

    Breck looked up from where she was inspecting her knife in the hollow. ¡°I¡¯m not bed bound nor are we paired. I can take care of my own.¡± There was a bit more edge of challenge to her tone than Wren¡¯s statement seemed to warrant.

    Still, I didn¡¯t hesitate to use her argument for myself as I crossed my arms. ¡°I can take care of my own things too.¡±

    Wren was wise enough not to comment on the fact I had barely moved from the spot I used for my night watch or the bruises and bandages she could see. Instead, she deliberately crossed the sandbar and crouched down to start soaking the clothes. The stream¡¯s edge was maybe five feet from me.

    ¡°Fair is fair.¡±

    Fern chose that moment to slip into the conversation. ¡°They weren¡¯t the only ones who risked themselves.¡±

    Wren smiled up at where she sitting on upper edge of the bank, all guileless beauty and innocence. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you got dirty.¡±

    Fern¡¯s voice became the slightest bit defensive. ¡°I prioritized getting everyone we could to safety.¡±

    Wren nodded. ¡°And we¡¯ll get everyone else soon.¡± Her gaze lowered to where I was still sitting in silence. ¡°His story?¡±

    The boy was hardly the only one who would hear it. We were in too close quarters for that, but I had promised and there wasn¡¯t much else to do at the moment unless I wanted to attempt to take my clothes back from Wren. Besides, the more everyone knew about how both sides of the operation had gone yesterday the better we could plan for the next one.

    And the more time that went by before I pushed for a strategy meeting, the more time there was for the hunter squad to show up. Now that I was mostly out of commission, both in resources for traps and physically, I wasn¡¯t¡­quite so eager to steal the mission from them. The others hadn¡¯t gotten away from the festerlings completely unscathed either, and I was becoming painfully aware that the costs of rushing the others¡¯ rescue might outweigh the cost of losing a day or two waiting for the hunter squad to arrive. We could lose more than that when it came to recovery time from injuries, not to mention the resources that had already been ruined between our various run ins with the creatures. Spears weren¡¯t always easily replaced.

    Not that we would let them rot, like I told the kid, but suddenly it felt like I had a lot more to consider than I had the morning before.

    Things I could consider while everyone else was distracted with a story.

    ¡°Do you still want to hear about how I killed the festerling?¡±

    ¡°You killed one on your own?¡± Nii interrupted at the same time the healer gasped from within the hollow.

    I ignored both of them and patted the sand by my side.

    A bit self-conscious, a bit excited, the boy settled down next to me. ¡°How did you do it?¡±

    ¡°Well, there I was, barely a stone¡¯s throw from the festerlings¡¯ nesting ground. Perfectly placed on the edge of the area I trapped earlier¡­¡±

    There might have been a bit of embellishment for the audience as I gestured and told them how the festerlings fell for my traps and my quick thinking as I led them on a chase. Just like I might have downplayed the situation when I got to the point when I got shoved through the haft of a spear¡ª¡°it broke and I got away¡±¡ªbut they got all the details they needed to know. The traps slowed the festerlings and I killed the last by stabbing it in the stomach and I escaped after Breck¡¯s distraction drew the new arrivals off.

    Besides, it seemed like they were counting on me to come up with our next plan, which meant I was the only one who needed to know the full scope of my reasons for why the new plan would be the way it was.

    The boy sat, rapt with attention for the entire tale. He even cheered when I described how I shoved the creature off of me heroically after I slew it and took a leg as a trophy. He got a small smile in reward for that.

    Then it was time to convince Breck to tell her side of the story. ¡°Care to tell how the river operation went?¡±

    She had slipped her knife back into her belt and settled back against the hollow¡¯s curved wall, giving her full attention to the story I had been spinning. At my question, Breck stiffened for the barest moment before she dipped her head in acknowledgment.

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    ¡°This won¡¯t be a proper story. I don¡¯t have my mother¡¯s tongue for tales as I focused more on following her footsteps in earning them.¡±

    Her account did come out more like a report, but it did its job to layout what had happened on their end. A few times, she purposely drew in Fern to tell her side of things, too.

    The river had worked well. It hid both their body heat and their movements. After they heard me scream, they rushed up the bank to where everyone was being held near the bottom of the tree. Fern got to Sid and pulled the healer into the shadow paths while Breck hauled Nii and Wren back to the river. A few festerlings swarmed after her before she could get all the way there, so she dropped them in a tree¡¯s shadow and fought defense until Fern returned. Luckily, it seemed like most of the festerlings had swarmed after me when I disturbed their quiet.

    Fern got Nii and Wren through the shadows, but when she returned to get Breck, she found that the other girl had killed one of the festerlings and badly wounded the other. Breck told her to rescue someone else. Then she used her blessing to draw in the surrounding festerlings, including the two playing guard over the remaining captives. Fern took advantage of the opening and saved the closest person she could reach, the boy, while Breck took on festerlings as they leapt out of trees and scurried across the ground. All of them screaming together, so that it felt like the air hummed. That¡¯s what drew off the festerlings that had been searching around me after I killed my own festerling.

    Breck killed a second festerling before that second wave hit, but once she saw them coming she dropped into the shadow paths and waited awhile before slipping out again and dashing for the stream. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if she needed the time to recover from the creatures¡¯ spit as well.

    After that she made her way back to the bushes she watched over the others while Fern got them moved to the new hideout. Fern was couldn¡¯t make any more trips through the shadow paths after that, not without more rest. So, she took over watching the others while Breck made her way back too the stream and our current hideout on her own. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if I made it back to the bushes shortly after they both left.

    Still, the whole retelling was a sheer reminder of how skilled Breck was at fighting and surviving. If she hadn¡¯t been able to hold against the creatures hemming her in on nearly all sides the plan wouldn¡¯t have worked. For all that her blessing seemed to give her an extra edge as it called the creatures she fought, I knew I wouldn¡¯t have been able to hold out if I had been in her same position.

    The boy¡¯s eyes were even wider with hero worship after Breck finished her report. It probably helped that while she didn¡¯t exactly look great and untouched, she wasn¡¯t having the same mobility problems as me.

    I refrained from indulging him anymore after that.

    Which worked out since Wren had finished washing my clothes. Chirp and her went back to keeping him entertained in their own way while I took the time to think as I waited for my clothes to dry.

    Sid was fixing up the cold midday meal when Fern dropped down next to me and whisper-hissed for everyone to get in the hollow. She snatched my drying clothes off the cluster of branches and river debris Wren had propped them up on before racing into the hollow herself.

    My whole body protested against the movement but I kept my expression neutral as I crawled into the hollow. I ended up pressed against Nii¡¯s legs with Breck on one side and the wall on the other as we all pressed back as far as we could from the entrance. Nii looked like she wanted to object to my proximity¡ªand normally I wouldn¡¯t have wanted to be so close to anyone else either¡ªbut there was one main reason for why Fern would have rushed us into the hollow.

    The festerlings were on the move again.

    Given that they were ambush predators I was a bit surprised with the effort they were putting into their search, but we had riled them up, and, with the bit of intelligence they had, perhaps they knew we couldn¡¯t get far.

    We all tried to breathe as little as possible as we strained our ears for whatever had tipped Fern off. It took several long moments before I heard it. The quietest rustle-thump that wasn¡¯t in time with the wind and that had too much weight behind it to be a squirrel. The sound of the festerlings leaping from tree to tree as they searched for their prey.

    Slowly, the noises got louder as they drew closer. Breck shifted slightly with her hand on her knife, ready to attack if they made their way down to the sandbar for some reason. Nii also had drawn out her long bone needles. Each one was as long as my hand from wrist to fingertip. Wren and Fern had our remaining two spears while the healer kept the boy quiet while clutching at his food supplies.

    Which left me with my sling, my knife, and my stolen festerling leg. I clutched at the thing, ready to use it as a terrible spear or club if I needed to, but in my current condition I knew I was better as a shield for someone else rather than trying to hold up a fight. Not that I was going to give up as soon as I saw a festerling.

    We waited.

    And waited.

    Scuttling and shifting needles whispered together overhead until I wanted to curse at them just to break the tension.

    We waited.

    And the noises slowly became fainter and fainter as the festerlings moved on. Stillness and silence kept their hold on us for minutes longer until the boy whispered, ¡°Are they gone?¡±

    Wren sent Chirp out to check with a warning to keep his distance from the tree limbs, just in case. I wasn¡¯t the only one who remembered the birds¡¯ dire warnings about getting snatched out of the air and eaten.

    I tried not to be obvious about keeping my gaze on Wren while he was gone, but I couldn¡¯t help the need to check on her. Things were bound to go very, very poorly if he didn¡¯t return and while I would never admit it, even I felt worried for the obnoxious fluffball.

    A happy twitter greeted us before Chirp fluttered back into the hollow and relayed the rest of his message to Wren.

    She repeated it us, ¡°They¡¯ve moved on. Nothing in the trees or bushes.¡±

    Everyone relaxed.

    I shifted away from Nii. She put away her needles while everyone else relaxed their hold on their own weapons. Fern gave me my mostly dry set of clothes. Sid got back to putting the midday meal together with the boy¡¯s help. It didn¡¯t take very long.

    We still kept to the hollow while we ate, just in case, and then Fern decided it was time to break the silence on what we were going to do next.

    She looked me straight in the eye as she spoke, ¡°Do you have a plan for how to rescue the others, Gimley? Or would you rather wait for the hunter squad this time around?¡±

    Everyone¡¯s attention swung to me. I only let them see confidence on my face. ¡°Of course. Since we have more people this time, I was thinking that Nii could snipe the festerlings while Breck acted as the frontline again. If Wren was fine with it and she could convince other birds, Chirp could lead a distraction with them.¡±

    Fern raised her eyebrows. ¡°And what would you¡ª¡± She stiffened as her head cocked to the side. The way whisper women tended to when they were listening to whispers on the wind.

    When Fern turned her attention back to me her gaze told me I had been saved by a thin, thin margin. ¡°The hunter squad will be here soon.¡±

 Book 3 - Ch. 14: Hunter Squad

    Fern didn¡¯t have a special branch like Grandmother did when she prayed for whisper women to bring the carved trunks for funeral pyres, so that they would know where to bring their bounty. But we had plenty of pine trees and their shadows, and Fern had her own prayer and blood.

    We gathered out on the sandbar while she climbed back up the steep bank and settled next to the large shadow of the tree that was holding our hollow together. She pricked her bless mark twice in quick succession before smearing the blood over both of her palms and pressing them down against the shadow.

    ¡°Drink the blood, show the way. Goddess, please help me so that your daughters can¡¯t stray.¡±

    We didn¡¯t have the best angle to see what happened next, but I didn¡¯t catch the usual flicker of blood flaking away to nothing. Instead, the part of the shadow between Fern¡¯s hands began to glow a dull, ominous red. It wasn¡¯t bright enough to truly illuminate anything, even if it had been dark out, but it was creepy all the same.

    A hint of a shudder passed down Fern¡¯s back, but she kept her hands firmly in place.

    Wren stood up on her tiptoes. ¡°What is that?¡±

    Fern didn¡¯t spare her a glance, but she answered, ¡°Blood gate.¡± She nodded toward the glowing area between her hands. ¡°The goddess¡¯s eye marks the shadow so the hunter squad knows where to go, rather than step through any of the other thousands of shadows around us.¡±

    Wren¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°Can we do that?¡±

    ¡°It takes a certain level of proficiency.¡±

    Breck noted, ¡°I haven¡¯t seen whisper women need such a gate before.¡±

    Fern¡¯s features tightened but she answered Breck¡¯s unspoken question too. ¡°Lone or stronger shadows are often easy to pick out, especially if you have an idea of where you are trying to go. Someone with strong intent wouldn¡¯t need it and they could bring along those less skilled at traveling, but otherwise, if you want a group to show up through the exact same shadow¡ª¡±

    ¡°It helps to draw their eye and mark the way.¡± This came from the wide shouldered, strongly built woman who had just shoved her way up out of the shadow. She surveyed us as her squad stepped out of the shadow after her. ¡°Name¡¯s Arwin. We heard you had a bit of a festerling problem?¡±

    The last two people came through the shadow and Fern lifted her hands and shook them like they had gone numb. The red light faded and died.

    Fern stood to face the seven newcomers. ¡°We do. We¡¯ve killed six so far, but we believe that most of the clutch is still alive. They still have six prisoners.¡±

    Arwin peered a bit closer at us when she heard that. ¡°Oh hoh? You and the little ones? Impressive.¡± She glanced back over her shoulder. ¡°Ima? Wanna wager?¡±

    Another tall woman shifted into view, though she wasn¡¯t as bulky as her squad leader. ¡°Not when we all know you¡¯ll win.¡±

    Arwin looked like she was going to keep the banter going, but Ima¡¯s movement had revealed the man she brought with her and we recognized each other at the same time.

    ¡°Flickermark girl.¡±

    I scowled up at Morgan. I doubted I would ever warm up to him after he spilled the truth of my blessing to everyone in hearing distance at the arena.

    Arwin looked mildly amused at my attempt to burn Morgan where he stood with my gaze. ¡°Do you know her?¡±

    He shrugged. ¡°She¡¯s the one who helped Ressia win bragging rights from me.¡±

    ¡°You told everyone about my blessing!¡± I snapped. Too late Esie¡¯s warnings to be a model of good behavior buzzed through my mind.

    The healer blinked. ¡°Was it a secret?¡±

    I kept my tongue quiet that time around even though I really wanted to say that it could have been. I doubted that admitting to keeping your blessing a secret was approved of among the whisper women and it wasn¡¯t like I had sworn Ressia to secrecy when I blurted out the truth to her. Still, he could have held his tongue a bit better when we met in the arena.

    Arwin landed on the sandbar in front of me and Fern looked annoyed that the situation had spiraled out of her control so fast. ¡°The one who can¡¯t die?¡±

    A gasp of shock from behind me from the boy. I ignored him as I tried to remember my manners. I didn¡¯t like the situation turning in this direction any more than Fern did.

    I inclined my head to the whisper woman and tried to turn the conversation back to the task at hand. ¡°Will you take care of the rest of the festerlings soon?¡±

    ¡°Soon.¡± She flapped a dismissive hand before her expression brightened. ¡°Up for a wager?¡±

    I clenched my jaw but I wasn¡¯t quite idiotic enough to dismiss the wager out of hand. ¡°What is it?¡±

    She glanced around, considering. ¡°Looks like you¡¯re low on spears. If you win, we¡¯ll replenish your supply along with a few other things you probably lost to the festerlings.¡±

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    ¡°And if I lose?¡±

    Her smile widened. ¡°Rumor has it that you¡¯re quite the interesting girl, jumping in water snake maws and receiving patronage from the Lady of Calm Waters. What do you think more supplies are worth?¡±

    I would have preferred faster healing, but it wasn¡¯t like whisper women would be much help with that. After a day of rest I could stand easily enough on my rolled ankle, but it was still tender.

    More supplies would certainly be helpful. I had felt the lack of spears when the festerlings had passed overhead just a little bit ago, but I also didn¡¯t want to get bound up with a whisper woman I had just met and I didn¡¯t have a whole lot I could offer her. Besides, she could be on Jin and Yule¡¯s side of things and I didn¡¯t need to give them any more things to use against me.

    We could manage with what we had.

    ¡°I think I don¡¯t need to wager with someone who can¡¯t even name the bet or its terms.¡±

    Arwin barked out a surprising laugh. ¡°Fair. Next time then.¡±

    Ima dropped next to Arwin and clapped a hand on her shoulder as she looked at me. ¡°Smart. She has an unfair advantage when it comes to luck.¡± She glanced back up to Fern. ¡°Tell us the situation in detail.¡±

    Fern told them the story from when we first entered the festerlings¡¯ territory, though she had Breck, Nii, and I fill in on the parts she hadn¡¯t been present for. It turned out that I had been correct in my assumptions about what had pushed Nii and Ulo into the ominously quiet territory. They hadn¡¯t wanted to risk turning around and running into us, Ulo had been persuasive with the need to continue straight, and they had thought they could face or run from whatever they came across. Instead, they had been ambushed by the festerlings and quickly overwhelmed.

    I kept my own telling of distracting the festerlings much closer to a report than what I had told the boy that morning. Arwin and Ima both looked faintly impressed when they learned I had killed one my own and I neglected to mention that I doubted I could manage another.

    All in all, it didn¡¯t take them long to collect what information we had about the festerlings and their nesting ground. They didn¡¯t like the news that some of the festerlings were ranging around since it would take longer to hunt them down and make sure they hadn¡¯t missed any of the creatures.

    For all that they only had six whisper women they didn¡¯t seem too worried about being outnumbered. Nor did it take long for Arwin decide on their strategy.

    ¡°Kane, do you think your barrier can cover their nesting ground and then some? Good. Crack and cover like usual then, folks. Break their joints and jaws, so Ima can get in and finish them without much fuss.¡±

    I glanced around at the hunter squad but didn¡¯t see any weapons that looked liked they¡¯d have the strength to crush or crack the festerlings¡¯ protective shell. Arwin noticed my searching eyes and beckoned over a woman who was wearing a lot less clothing than normal. No sleeves and shorts rather than pants. Which let the six large tattoos of axes on her arms and the front and back of her legs stand out prominently; they had the inky black of bless marks.

    The woman obviously knew what Arwin wanted as she smiled down at me and touched one of the axes. ¡°I¡¯m one of the rare ones whose mark actually matches their blessing, and it¡¯s a bit easier to carry these bulky things when they¡¯re in my skin than on a belt. Besides, a quarter of an hour is more than enough to take care of a clutch of festerlings.¡±

    Arwin winked at me and Fern. ¡°You¡¯re lucky they¡¯re one of our specialties.¡± Then a thought seemed to come to her. ¡°Do you want to watch us work? You might learn a thing or two.¡±

    Ima sighed from where she stood on Arwin¡¯s other side. ¡°They can barely stand.¡±

    That was gross overstatement of our injuries, at least when it came to everyone else, but it was true that setting ourselves up on the edge of a fight probably wasn¡¯t the smartest of moves.

    ¡°They can stay outside of the barrier.¡± Arwin waved her dismissive hand again. ¡°If there are any festerlings that go after them they can hide in the shadows until we can take of them or they can hold their own. They already faced them a couple times already and took out a few.¡± She glanced at us. ¡°You can do that, right?¡±

    Fern clearly didn¡¯t like the idea, but she also wasn¡¯t willing to go against a higher ranked whisper woman. ¡°If you¡¯re set on the idea.¡±

    ¡°Great!¡± Arwin clapped her hands together. ¡°Morgan, hurry up on checking the seedlings! They¡¯re going to be watching us and the sooner they¡¯re ready to go the sooner we can take care of the beasties!¡±

    Morgan raised an acknowledging hand, but otherwise kept his attention on Breck and Sid as he interrogated the younger healer about his work. His casual acknowledgment and Arwin¡¯s acceptance of it made me grit my teeth. Such a thing would never have been accepted back in the tribe.

    Morgan took a half and hour to finish checking over all of us. I did my best to ignore his activities and the sour taste in the back of my throat as he asked Sid about this or that treatment, why he used one ingredient and not another. I kept out of the hollow too. Somehow the whole scenario was worse than when Sid or other healers had treated me and the last thing I needed was to act like a fool where everyone could see me.

    When the healers got to me, however, I couldn¡¯t stand to be the subject of a healing lesson. I had placed myself on the edge of the sandbar, nominally where it was less likely for someone to overhear, and spoke in a low hiss.

    ¡°I have a sprained ankle, a deep bruise on my hip, and a handful of minor cuts and bruises. Get me a couple of cold compresses for the ankle and hip and I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    They both blinked at me in shock.

    I snapped at Morgan, ¡°What? Ressia didn¡¯t tell you that too?¡±

    I knew I shouldn¡¯t have let even more people know about my healer¡¯s background than those that already knew or guessed, but they were doing everything that had been taken from me, that I had taken from myself, and Sid was learning. What if Morgan mentioned something that she had never taught me? Something I¡¯d have to watch them do or discuss and I could never try my own hand at?

    That was a torture I couldn¡¯t stand. Not when I had injuries I could have treated just as well myself. Injuries that I wouldn¡¯t even have if I had just stopped myself from acting with the same impulsive, pride-filled reaction that had cost me my healer¡¯s beads in the first place.

    Morgan looked uncertain, so I pressed him further. ¡°You don¡¯t need to go over the same lessons with me that you already went over with everyone else. They had cuts and bruises, too. Get the compresses and I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    He relented.

    There wasn¡¯t any snow handy for the compress, so they filled a couple of water-proof pouches with cold river water and I tied them to my ankle and hip. Since I wasn¡¯t about to undress to get the pouch directly against my skin the one on my hip barely provided any relief. The one on my ankle worked quite well though. Both would come off in a handful of minutes when the healers were no longer looking. If we did have to fight I didn¡¯t want the odd weight to throw me off.

    The hunter squad had scouted a bit on their own while Morgan finished double checking everyone and they had decided to pull those of us who would watch through to where the old bush hideout was. The boy would stay behind with Sid and Morgan in the hollow.

    Finally, it was time for the others to be rescued and the festerlings thoroughly taken care of.

 Book 3 - Ch. 15: Gains and Losses

    Arwin¡¯s squad became all focused efficiency as soon as they pulled us through the shadow paths. We were placed off to the side and told to follow but keep out of the way while the whisper women fell into a practiced formation with the axe blessing whisper woman in the middle and Ima at the back. Ima had pulled out two long spikes of tapered bone while the rest kept their hands free for the moment. Just like she was the only one who hadn¡¯t pulled on hoods that covered everything but the eyes and gloves. Even the axe blessing whisper woman put those on, though she didn¡¯t move to cover her arms or legs.

    Wren chanced a whispered question as we stood behind Ima. ¡°Why don¡¯t you wear the protective gear too?¡±

    Ima glanced back at her with a quick smile. ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    The squad member at the front of the formation spoke without prompting. ¡°The nesting grounds are just within my range. There¡¯s eight up in the big tree, another five scattered around it. Another pair is returning from the north. Kane wait for another thirty heartbeats and they¡¯ll be in range for your barrier. Camp size.¡±

    Kane, a fair haired twig of a woman, made a noise of acknowledgment. ¡°I¡¯ll need eyes on the area to place it correctly.¡±

    The group moved forward as quickly and stealthily as they were able. The hunter squad ate through the distance like it was nothing without a single person stepping on an errant twig or brushing up against a noisy bush.

    I quickly fell to the back of the seedling group. We had to pick more between stealth and speed than the experienced hunter squad. Fern ended up being a bit of a way point between the two groups. More experienced than us, but not so skilled as to easily keep up with the whisper women. Besides, we had all come up to quiet agreement to do what we could to not draw attention and keep out of the whisper women¡¯s way. Wren might have already forgotten that agreement with her question, but Fern didn¡¯t want to risk distracting the hunter squad by catching all the way up and accidentally getting in their way.

    As it was, I still needed my impromptu walking stick to get anywhere further than five feet without straining myself so badly that I¡¯d injure myself further and the festerling leg was starting to smell. Despite the cold compresses bringing down the swelling my injuries still didn¡¯t appreciate the increased activity. Which meant I was stuck limping along and no matter how quietly I placed the festerling leg for my next step I wasn¡¯t exactly being stealthy.

    On some level I think everyone knew that I should have been kept back with the men, but Arwin had proposed watching the fight to me first, so I was allowed to stump my way along. I was still making my way down the first hill that lay between the old bush hideout and the nesting ground when Kane¡¯s barrier sprung up from the top of the second.

    A wall of ghostly stone burst from the ground, sliding upwards until it was higher than the trees without harming a single pine needle. It rose in sections rather than Idra¡¯s instantaneous invisible shield. They fanned out from the original see-through block as each rose and locked in with the rest to enclose the area the festerlings had infested.

    A hand with only three fingers grabbed my arm as Breck appeared by my side. ¡°Get on my back.¡±

    I stared at her. ¡°What?¡±

    She was already turning around and pulling my arm over her shoulder. ¡°Get on my back.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± I tried to pull away, but neither of us were surprised to realize that she was stronger than me. ¡°I can get there myself.¡±

    ¡°And miss what the high huntress wanted to show.¡± Her expression grew more serious. ¡°To not learn is to die.¡± Breck shoved her finger against my bruised hip and my knees nearly buckled from the pain. ¡°To fight wounded when there is another option is stupidity.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not¡ª¡±

    ¡°Get on my back or I will carry you over my shoulder.¡±

    I didn¡¯t doubt that she could do it. Or that she would. The normally bored girl had a very intent look in her eyes. Which meant that my only real option was to pick which indignity I preferred over the other. Having a shoulder dig into my gut with every step didn¡¯t sound very appealing, so I went with her original offer.

    Clinging to her back I felt like a incompetent child whose only contribution was keeping the festerling leg out of Breck¡¯s way. Now that the fighting had started she stopped being stealthy and simply sprinted her way down the hill and back up the next one.

    During the minute or so it took her to cross the distance I didn¡¯t ask what I really wanted to know, but I said the closest thing I could to it.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to fight wounded.¡±

    Breck snorted. ¡°You always fight wounded.¡±

    My mouth clamped shut.

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    That was an unwelcome bit of insight from someone wholly unexpected. I wanted to ask why she had returned for me, why she thought it was so important for me to see the fight, what she meant by that last statement. But none of it made it past my lips.

    Maybe it would have if she had been Prevna or Rawley.

    But no. Those were the dangerous kind of things to ask or answer and I certainly wasn¡¯t going to risk them when pride and incompetence were burning the back of my throat like acid.

    The others were already at the barrier when we reached it. Fern and Nii looked judgmental as Breck let me down from her back while Wren was more concerned and surprised¡ªuntil the fight drew everyone¡¯s attention back down the other side of the hill.

    Kane was on the other side of the ghostly stone wall, half submerged in it as she watched what we could see of the fight through the trees. The rest of the whisper women were spread out in a wide clump, not quite to the main part of the festerlings¡¯ nesting ground, while festerlings tried to swarm them. All of them but Ima held blue, immaterial axes like motes of light had gathered to give the illusion of weapons. However, they seemingly worked as well as, or better than, weapons of bone and wood.

    One festerling leapt at Arwin from above as she took the leg of another with one great sweep of her axe. Using her momentum, she swung the axe up so it cleaved off both arms on one side of the leaping festerling. Its head opened in a screech that I couldn¡¯t feel from here as it landed off balance. Arwin twisted back to the first festerling while Ima darted in and plunged her bone spike down the creature¡¯s throat, uncaring about sharp teeth or the gobs of disorientating spittle that coated her hand and forearm.

    The festerling died and Ima was away to stab deep into a festerling whose joints had been cut or crushed by another whisper women. That one died too. I waited for her to slow, to grow confused from the creatures¡¯ spit, but she kept moving as quick and light as ever.

    I pressed up against the barrier. It felt like solid, smooth rock. ¡°Their spit doesn¡¯t affect Ima?¡±

    Kane didn¡¯t turn to look at me, but her tone was proud. ¡°Substances can¡¯t cloud her mind.¡±

    The fight didn¡¯t take long to finish after that. The whisper women hacked and stabbed their way through the creatures. With the festerlings unwilling to go for lethal attacks, their main offensive weapon blocked between the whisper women¡¯s clothes and Ima¡¯s blessing, and failed ambush tactics they didn¡¯t stand much of a chance. A few tried to run near the end of the fight, and those took longer for the whisper women to catch, but they could only go so far thanks to Kane¡¯s barrier. The whisper woman who could sense them made it easier for the hunter squad to spot them and finish off the errant creatures as they tried to blend in.

    As soon as it was confirmed that no more festerlings could be sensed within the barrier Kane dropped it and everyone gathered at the big tree by the stream that the creatures had used as a base. What had taken us multiple fights and unwelcome injuries, they had finished in under a half an hour with only a couple whisper women woozy from the creatures¡¯ spit.

    Juniper, Ulo, Colm, a girl who could have been two or three, and two adults lay under the large tree as if they were sleeping on the comfiest bedroll. Each one was drenched in a coating of spittle.

    Breck, Nii, and Wren were put in charge of rinsing off the former captives in the river. I was supposed to be helping on that front too, but even I wasn¡¯t stubborn enough to try and lift a person, carry them a dozen or more feet down the stream¡¯s bank, keep them from drowning while the spit washed away, and carry them back up with my bruised hip and still tender ankle.

    Instead, Breck and Nii lifted and carried them to and from while Wren kept their heads above water in the stream. I sat next to the rinsed people and waited for them to wake up.

    Fern traveled through the shadows with one of the whisper women to retrieve the men from the hollow. Kane set up a smaller barrier around the tree to protect against any festerlings that might try to return to the nesting ground and the remaining members of the hunter squad set out to finish off any errant festerlings that might be left.

    When the healers and boy arrived they immediately took over the area around the unconscious. The boy sat holding his younger sister¡¯s hand as if he¡¯d never let it go. Sid and Morgan got to work preparing treatments to help them come around quicker and take care of any injuries they found.

    Because I couldn¡¯t stand to be the only one sitting around doing wholly nothing, I gathered up what supplies I could and moved around the tree so that I would have more space to take stock. I didn¡¯t delve into anyone¡¯s pack, though the temptation was there. Instead, I kept my focus on the general supplies everyone carried.

    We were down to four spears with three broken or missing. Knives fared better as we were only missing two after the pair Breck and Fern had recovered. As far as I knew, we still had all of our slings and odder weapons as no one had tried to use them to fight the festerlings. Wren had stitched the broken strap on her pack back together, but Nii¡¯s pack, bedroll, and tent were all missing. By some stroke of luck or good craftsmanship, everyone else¡¯s packs were intact with their bedrolls tied to them despite a good portion being mishandled as they were drug through the trees by the festerlings. The same was true of the rolled tents the others had been carrying.

    We were also missing a bag of preserved food that couldn¡¯t be accounted for by what we had already ate. That wasn¡¯t as big a loss as it could have been given the amount of food we were able to hunt and gather as we traveled. All in all, we could have a lost a lot more than we did to the ambushes, but the lost weapons hurt.

    It took time and skill to make more. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if Breck knew how to make a spear, even a crude one, but there also wasn¡¯t a guarantee that we¡¯d find a fallen branch big enough to make one.

    Nii¡¯s lost supplies and tent would also make for more¡­difficult situations after she had slipped away with Ulo. I knew I wasn¡¯t inclined to share any more of my things with her and I doubted the others would either, except for maybe Ulo. I also wasn¡¯t looking forward to the more cramped quarters in the tents now that an extra person would need to fit in the two we had left that didn¡¯t belong to Sid, and Fern and Colm. Perhaps I¡¯d take to sleeping outside.

    Arwin and the rest of her squad returned to our new camp before the evening meal with the news that they searched the surrounding area and killed four more festerlings. The squad leader also announced that because they didn¡¯t have any other pressing situations to resolve that they would stay the night with us before scouting the area one last time to make sure the festerlings were truly taken care of.

 Book 3 - Ch. 16: Quiet Night

    The camp split into disparate groups after Colm provided the evening meal. The hunter squad¡ªwho I learned like to call themselves the Ghost Hounds¡ªtook over the area around the cooking fire. Arwin started a game of dice and gambling, but it wasn¡¯t long before the others good-naturedly eased her out of the game for ¡°winning too much¡± and ¡°cheating her luck¡±. It seemed like a situation they were all familiar with and Arwin went to join the group on the other side of the fire that was trading stories, both tales that they actually experienced and a couple of old myths.

    I kept out of the busy ring of firelight as I sat against the trunk of the great pine the festerlings had used, but I still listened to the snatches of story that drifted my way. I kept my fingers busy by checking over my weapons and supplies. Not that I had a spear anymore, but I would make do with my sling and knife.

    Surprisingly, Nii took over Arwin¡¯s spot in the gambling ring and it didn¡¯t take long before they were asking if she had a lucky blessing too. She laughed, something I hadn¡¯t heard since we first shared a dome together on the Seed Landing, and said it was because she had sharp eyes. That got her some ribbing for being caught by the festerlings and they made her move from the newly declared lucky spot, but still let her play.

    Wren and Breck were with the storytellers and were hooked on a story one of the whisper women was telling. Not that I could blame them. She made shadow pictures with her hands on a blanket back drop as she told a tale of the squad hunting down a great beast. Even Chirp seemed somewhat entranced as he perched on Wren¡¯s knee.

    The family sat near the fire between the two groups, looking somewhere between lost and grateful and worried that if they made a wrong move the goddess¡¯s wrath would come down on their heads. I doubted they had ever spent so long in the company of whisper women and, to their eyes, with our black lips, the other seedlings and I likely multiplied that number. Intimidation by quantity and quality, even if we didn¡¯t fully intend to cause it. Everyone had woken up by the time the Ghost Hounds returned from hunting down errant festerlings thanks to us getting them washed off, and Sid and Morgan¡¯s treatments.

    Kane had remade her barrier so that it only encircled the more open area around the large tree and part of the stream. She had to stay partially submerged in the barrier to keep it up, but she didn¡¯t seem to mind as Ima talked to her outside the firelight. The barrier glimmered faintly under the night sky.

    I could hear Ulo taking her frustration out on the stream and its bank. Splashing water and dull thuds as she punched and stomped and kicked. She had wanted one of the remaining spears, but Fern hadn¡¯t trusted her with it yet. With the way her eyes had been flashing it wouldn¡¯t be a surprise if she tried to go hunt festerlings on her own. Not that there should be any left and Kane¡¯s barrier kept things in as well as out.

    We all left Ulo alone. She even snapped at Nii when she tried to talk to her and I was surprised that I wasn¡¯t being ranted at and blamed for the festerlings¡¯ presence. I wasn¡¯t going to push my luck and incite a confrontation now. I could get petty revenge later, when I wasn¡¯t injured and tired, for everything she put me through between tracking and dragging us into monster territory.

    Juniper had stared up at the tree for a bit before disappearing up into it. It didn¡¯t have any easy low hanging branches, but the festerlings had left divots in the bark with their thick claws. More than enough to find a path up to the branches. I wasn¡¯t sure what she was thinking, but the air of melancholy that had hung thick around her had come back with a vengeance.

    Near a secondary, smaller fire Sid, Colm, and Morgan were butchering the bodies of the defeated festerlings that the whisper women had been able to gather up. No one had much interest in the oily, puss filled meat, but the outer shell would make for good firewood. None of the sections were long and straight enough for spears, unfortunately. I had tossed my makeshift walking stick in with the lot. It was starting to rot and I knew I didn¡¯t have the skills to clean it out properly. Nor did I think my makeshift work would last much longer.

    All of which meant I needed to find another solution or two to my mobility issue. My ankle was on the mend. With another night of rest I could probably walk on it fine tomorrow as long as I took care not to roll it again on uneven ground and left off sprinting for awhile.

    My hip was the real problem. The bruising was deep and dark, and I was lucky that the spear had broke instead of my hip. It ached badly if I settled my belt and pouches wrong around my waist and the swelling hindered my ability to walk. I worried that the limp might hurt my ankle¡¯s recovery. If Ulo wasn¡¯t throwing a fit by the creek I¡¯d be down there now, soaking the bruise in cold water. As it was, I did what I could to rest it and not send pain lancing up my spine by accidentally pressing on the bruise.

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    Fern came out of the area where the tents had been set up a bit away from the cooking fire and any sparks it might spit out. She went to the family and talked to them before drawing Arwin aside and talking to her. Arwin didn¡¯t look that impressed with what she had to say and they went back and forth a bit, though Fern was clearly being more respectful than the boisterous whisper woman.

    After that she made her way over to where the men were working and took her fire starter aside for a much longer conversation. I watched as she went back to Arwin after, determined and tense, and they worked through a few more details of whatever they were talking about. Finally, Arwin gestured to her second-in-command and the Sapling finished off her discussion with Ima by the camp¡¯s ghostly perimeter.

    It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if she was trying to figure out what to do with the family. We had our task to find the Rookery that we needed to focus back on, and the hunter group had their own responsibilities. They could probably take the family to wherever they were trying to go through the shadow paths, but the only time I knew of shadows paths being used for regular tribesfolk was when crowds were transported to see the goddess walk on the Calling Road¡ªand they weren¡¯t transported back.

    We could also leave them to their own devices and some food, but the mother didn¡¯t seem like she was a huntress and that made it doubtful that they would make it through the woodland on their own. The others had gotten more of their story after the parents had woken up, but I kept out of it. I didn¡¯t need to get involved with even more people.

    I was wrapping up my equipment inspection, since I could only do so much in the dim light the fire cast my way, when soft footsteps came toward me. I looked up to find Morgan standing a short distance away, medical bag slung over one shoulder.

    He said, ¡°Ressia said you could be prickly and that you knew more than you should.¡± He patted the bag. ¡°But from what I heard you have a long distance to walk and your injuries won¡¯t make that easy.¡±

    I sat up straight. ¡°I can take care of myself.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± The healer nodded like he didn¡¯t have a care in the world. ¡°And I can heal.¡± He crouched down, so that we were level, hands clasped together. ¡°Would you like to make it to the Rookery whole or broken?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need your help.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­your healer knowledge agree with that assessment?¡±

    No. It didn¡¯t.

    My hip would take weeks for the bruising to fade completely and in the meantime I was gambling if the pain of one injury would make me worsen another minor one. If I had salves and ointments I could cut down on the pain and healing time, and make it more likely that I wouldn¡¯t slow down the group. I could use bandages to wrap my ankle and help it hold strong. But I couldn¡¯t make my own or apply those treatments myself anymore.

    That knowledge felt like a burn on the back my throat.

    Now I had to lower myself to be like all the tribespeople who barely knew what to do with a cut and get treated by someone else. Trust someone else¡¯s ointments and salves and knowledge.

    I didn¡¯t like it.

    Doing everything myself was much better.

    But I also wouldn¡¯t be much of a whisper woman if I managed to cripple myself now trying to keep up with the other seedlings. And Morgan, for all of his thoughtless faults, was better than Sid.

    ¡°I¡¯ll go to the healer¡¯s tent.¡±

    ¡°I can¡ª¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    The last thing I needed was for the rest of the group to see me leaning on some healer¡¯s arm. Not when the first rescue was my idea. Not when I had already gone this long without looking weak.

    I pushed myself to feet, took a moment to collect myself as I leaned against the tree, and limped to the tent Morgan had set up. Technicality, there were two healer¡¯s tents, given that Sid had put up his own, but we both knew what I meant.

    In the privacy of the tent Morgan treated me and went through what each of the treatments contained, what those ingredients were for. Some of the ingredients were new, but their purpose all fell into what I knew and would have done if I was treating myself. The lesson wasn¡¯t¡­strictly within acceptable bounds since those without healer¡¯s beads didn¡¯t need healing knowledge or its taint, but I appreciated in that it made it easier to accept his help. The lesson itself made the burn in the back of my throat strong enough that I didn¡¯t trust myself to speak.

    My ankle and hip were wrapped after they were treated, and he showed me a few small jars that held the mixtures he had made.

    ¡°I¡¯ll give these to Sid. Go to him to get these reapplied each evening for the next three days. After that your ankle should be good as new and the only thing for bruising will be time.¡± Morgan saw the look on my face and added, ¡°You should know better than anyone to listen to me. Healers don¡¯t just give instructions for fun.¡±

    My lips pressed together as the need to retort back him fought with the knowledge that he was correct. In the end I gave him a tight nod and left.

    Nii ended up in the tent with Wren and I that night. Which made there be too many limbs, not enough air, and I had to escape into the night air before the walls of the tent could swallow me into a memory.

    I slept better behind the tent even if I did wake up to Juniper staring down at me. When she saw me look back up at her, she opened her mouth to say something before snapping it closed again and striding away.

    I rubbed my hands over my face.

    The Ghost Hounds left that morning after double checking that the area was clear. They took the family with them after blindfolding them. Only those that would become whisper women got to see the inner workings of the shadow paths. The whisper women weren¡¯t planning on taking the family all the way to their cold season shelter, but it should make up for the time they lost while in the festerlings¡¯ clutches. The boy waved at me and Wren before they disappeared.

    And then there was only our original group again. Lacking some supplies, somewhat wounded, and waiting to see if Ulo and Nii would make another break for it now that the barrier was gone. All in all, it made for strained, uncomfortable travel as we continued our search for the Rookery.

 Book 3 - Ch. 17: Cracks

    We were less of a team now than when we started. I could see it happening, the snapping of the connections that had previously, tenuously, held the group together. But I also knew I wasn¡¯t the person capable of bringing us back together, even if I had been more inclined to make the effort. As it was, I already felt suffocated by the tight tent quarters, Ulo¡¯s relentless fixation, and my daily trip to the nervously chattering healer to get my injuries treated.

    Juniper would have been the obvious choice to talk to everyone and bring them back to where we had been before the festerlings, at least. She was our chosen leader, after all. I didn¡¯t think she could truly make us a team¡ªdidn¡¯t want that outcome if she could. Working together better would increase our chances of surviving the wild, but I didn¡¯t need or want the distraction of the other dangers that came with that closeness.

    Not that Juniper¡¯s ability to help the others or not really mattered at that point given that she was one of the main causes of the fracturing. After being rescued by the Ghost Hounds she had drawn into herself and barely spoken a word to anybody. Fern was the one who impatiently snapped for us to pack up camp in the morning and get a move on if she thought we were taking too long.

    Breck was the one who eyed the sun¡¯s descent in the evening and declared that she found a good spot to camp. We weren¡¯t very good at taking breaks throughout the day of travel and everyone was feeling strained and sore from the lack of rest. Walking wasn¡¯t a difficult activity until you pushed at it from dawn until dusk day after day after day.

    The one bit of luck I had was when we passed a fallen tree and I took a thin, but sturdy branch as a new impromptu walking stick. It was the only thing that let me keep up with the pace and even then I could tell that if something didn¡¯t change soon, something or someone would break. It might not be me at first, out of sheer stubbornness, but even that could only take me so far.

    Wren tried to hold us together through her announced directions and general positive attitude, but both fell on a difficult audience. There was only so many ways she could say ¡°we¡¯re should keep heading southeast¡± and ¡°we¡¯re still going in the right direction¡±. She talked with Chirp and some of the other birds she saw, but it didn¡¯t take long for even her casual air to grow strained. No one else indulged her need for conversation other than Sid, and she didn¡¯t always seem to know what to say to the healer.

    Ulo and Nii weren¡¯t allowed to leave the main group any more without supervision, so the bulk of hunting and gathering duties fell on Breck. As she was more inclined to hunt than gather our plant based supplies were dwindling. I did what I could to gather the edible plants and berries I recognized, but I couldn¡¯t range far from the group without risking putting too much strain on my aching hip.

    Ulo wasn¡¯t happy with her new lot in life and, more than once, arguments had sprung up between her and Nii. Once, when I was slipping around the tents to find a quiet spot outside to sleep, I heard my name being hissed. Nii was trying to share Rawley¡¯s viewpoint on my blessing while Ulo worked herself up into a rant about the fact that I was life tainted and Nii was an easily taken in fool and betrayer. I listened until I had a dozen petty plans for revenge against Ulo and the knowledge that if I didn¡¯t leave then she would be taking a fist to the face for the sheer number of insults she called me.

    I didn¡¯t want to start a fight I wasn¡¯t in the condition to win. She did find a host of ants in her shoes the next morning though.

    Ulo threw her shoes at me when she found me eating my morning meal in the middle of camp. One struck me in the chest and the other, my shoulder. Neither really hurt, but I didn¡¯t appreciate my meal nearly being knocked out of my hands. I set it to the side and picked up her shoes.

    ¡°A new pair? For me? I didn¡¯t know you were such a giver at heart.¡±

    Her voice echoed of the trees surrounding us. ¡°You put ants in my shoes!¡±

    I peered at one of the tiny offenders that had crawled onto my hand before flicking it away. ¡°Are you sure they weren¡¯t attracted to the smell of your feet? I heard they were attracted to the smell of oblivious, weak crybabies.¡±

    That was all it took for her to try to attack me with our stressed and flaring tempers. She got about three steps in before she crumpled over Fern¡¯s fist in her gut.

    The older seedling glared all around her, so that her look took in everyone arrayed around the cooking area and tents. ¡°I won¡¯t tolerate this.¡±

    Thunder cracked in the distance as if to accentuate her declaration.

    I didn¡¯t have the patience to keep my mouth in check. ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t supposed to step in?¡±

    ¡°I can and will when you all have shown you have no more control or sense than children. I¡¯d step light if I were you, all of you, and didn¡¯t want to be declared a failure once you reach the Rookery.¡±

    Fern paused before amending her statement. ¡°If you reach it.¡±

    Cold stabbed down my spine as she left Ulo spluttering in the dirt. Failure wasn¡¯t acceptable. Never had been, never would be.

    Wren called after her. ¡°What happens if we fail?¡±

    Fern¡¯s only answer was the snap of her tent flap as she disappeared behind it. Abandoning us to the cloud of stress, hurt pride, and impotent anger that still hung over the camp.

    Wren looked to where Colm was washing his cooking supplies. ¡°Well?¡±

    He paused his work just long enough to rebuff her. ¡°I won¡¯t tell you more than my mistress is willing to.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°This is your fault!¡± Ulo rose to her feet, swaying and clutching her middle. Her eyes burned into me.

    I was careful to keep my movements casual as I picked my wrap back up and took another bite. Dismissive. ¡°I didn¡¯t pick the fight.¡±

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    I might not be able to accept failure, but taking Ulo¡¯s insults quietly wasn¡¯t acceptable either.

    Her hands clenched as she took a step forward. ¡°You started it! You shouldn¡¯t even be here ruining everything.¡±

    I ate my last bite and stood. ¡°I don¡¯t think you need my help with that.¡± I started to turn away before

    I tossed one last parting comment over my shoulder. ¡°I don¡¯t waste my time with useless fools.¡±

    Ulo rushed me again, yelling. No one else moved quick enough to intercept her and she shoved me to the ground. I forced down a yelp of pain as I landed on my bad hip before I glared up at her and her balled fist.

    ¡°Do it. Punch me and make sure that Fern fails all of us.¡± I offered my cheek up to her. ¡°Do it.¡±

    Her face twisted as her fist wavered. I didn¡¯t think her desire to punch me was stronger than her desire to become a whisper woman, but part of me was tempted to see if I could push her over the edge. If I could make her hate herself as much as she was set on hating me.

    Fern could threaten to take away the only thing I had left and I couldn¡¯t control what she might or might not say when she gave her evaluation of the group, especially when I had the feeling she already didn¡¯t like me. But Ulo was right here and I could control this¡ªeven if only into a downward spiral.

    I grinned at the other girl. ¡°I knew a crybaby like you wouldn¡¯t be strong enough to hit me.¡±

    Ulo¡¯s fist went for my face. I pulled my head to the side to make her miss, but Nii¡¯s hand caught Ulo¡¯s wrist before her punch had a chance to connect. ¡°Stop it.¡±

    Ulo tried to break free of Nii¡¯s grip, but she couldn¡¯t do anything against the buff girl despite her hours of spearwork. ¡°Let me go! She deserves¡ª¡±

    Nii slapped her and I couldn¡¯t help but grin wider at the unexpected development. I didn¡¯t let it wither when Nii glared down at me before bringing her gaze back up to Ulo. ¡°You¡¯re falling into her trap and I don¡¯t think she¡¯s even trying that hard. It¡¯s disgraceful.¡±

    Ulo looked like Nii had slapped her again before she spat out a few choice curses. Then she actually spit on me. A huge glob landed on the cheek I had offered her to punch.

    ¡°You¡¯ll get what¡¯s coming to you.¡± Ulo tugged her arm Nii still held. ¡°Get off me.¡±

    Nii relented and Ulo stalked off.

    Nii glanced down at me. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you¡¯re life ridden or not, but you¡¯re not a better person than her.¡±

    I laughed.

    She left.

    By the time I grounded myself enough to stop laughing and pick myself from the dirt, the air was heavy and damp with the promise of the coming rain. Some of us had wanted to travel despite the inconvenience and discomfort until Wren had won over the majority with her point that navigation would be near impossible without a landmark, path, sun or stars to guide us. So now the plan was to wait out the storm and hope that we could still get some travel in today once it cleared up. Which could take anywhere from a couple hours to the rest of the day.

    The chance to rest was appreciated, but it left me two uncomfortable choices. Spend the time cooped up in the tent with Wren, Chirp, and Nii, or try to find some other shelter in the woodland and likely get rained on.

    Everyone else had already disappeared into wherever they were holing up for the storm. I kept staring at the tent I was supposed to shelter in. It would be small and cramped and likely neither of the other seedlings would want anything to do with me after what just happened.

    It started to drizzle.

    Nii would probably glare at me the entire time and I wouldn¡¯t be able to leave. Or Wren would want to know what I was thinking and would ask question after question, chatter on to stave off her own boredom and curiosity. They would judge me and the tent walls would press in close, too close, and because of the rain it wouldn¡¯t be easy for me to leave. They would want to know why.

    My breath came fast.

    What if the memories overtook me? And they witnessed that horrid weakness?

    The rain hitting my cheeks became tears as Mother poured a bucket of water over my head, creating a puddle of muck and mud underneath me as I crouched outside the tent. The bucket clattered to the ground beside me and hit me in the shin as she glowered her second look of disappointment down at me.

    ¡°Cool your head.¡± And then, ¡°Just had to be clever, didn¡¯t you? Stupid girl.¡± The wind blew strong and cold, but she didn¡¯t seem to notice as I shivered in my wet clothing. She shook her head. ¡°After all the work I put into you? I should cut those beads from your hair now.¡±

    My hand shot up to protect the four precious beads. ¡°No, Mother! I won¡¯t do it again. I¡¯ll be more careful.¡±

    ¡°And risk letting you destroy more good ingredients? I should¡ª¡±

    Mother¡¯s voice fuzzed out as she cut into me with her words. A hand was gripping my shoulder, but Mother hadn¡¯t done that. She didn¡¯t want to touch me after she dragged me out of the tent. Someone else was speaking too, but no one else had dared interrupt as she berated me.

    It was wrong. All wrong.

    But I didn¡¯t want to be cowering at Mother¡¯s feet anymore, sniveling and terrified that she¡¯d actually cut the healer¡¯s beads from my hair this time. So I tried to focus on the wrongness, on the hand and the voice until between one blink and the next I was back in the rain in the cooking area.

    Tents to the front and side. Pine trees all around and rain pouring down more heavily than I remembered. And..and Wren was gripping my shoulder and saying something.

    ¡°¡ªcan¡¯t just stand in the rain. What are you doing?¡± She peered closer at me. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    On reflex I jerked my shoulder out of her grip. ¡°Don¡¯t touch me.¡±

    Wren took a step forward, following me. ¡°Why are you standing in the rain? What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    It was too much. I didn¡¯t want her to see and now she had and I wouldn¡¯t¡ªcouldn¡¯t¡ªexplain any of it to her, and Mo¡ªLev¡ªshe was still hovering on the edge of my consciousness, waiting for me to slip into another memory.

    I turned and ran. Half-limping and not caring. Wren called after me but I ignored her. Then I heard her start to chase me and I tried to run faster. Her hand caught around my wrist and I jerked it free from her again. ¡°Don¡¯t touch me!¡±

    I slipped.

    She tripped over me and we both fell onto the muddy ground a tangle of limbs.

    Wanting Mother to carry me, to help me as she walked away. My foot hurt. Of course, it did. A large hook had carved its way through it.

    I fought to keep my voice steady, but it came out thready. ¡°My foot. A hook¡­¡±

    ¡°If you want something you¡¯re going to have to talk louder.¡±

    I cleared my throat and forced the threadiness from my voice, ¡°There¡¯s a hook in my foot.¡±

    She beckoned. ¡°Then stop wasting time on the ground. All of my herbs are back at my shop and there¡¯s not enough light out here.¡±

    Mother turned and continued toward the tents. She didn¡¯t care. She never cared no matter what I did not to be a failure in her eyes. I gritted my teeth and followed her. Through the mud and muck and fish guts. No complaints, no tears despite the sharp, aching pain that throbbed through my foot with every step¡­

    Rain hit my face and it was my hip that ached, not my foot. Wren was kneeling beside me. Her face was at war between uncertainty, concern, and fear. My breath was still coming fast and everything felt hazy, like I could slip back at any moment if I didn¡¯t concentrate.

    Two in less than an hour. I couldn¡¯t remember the last time that had happened and Wren had witnessed both.

    I rolled away from her onto my side. Shaky with adrenaline, with weariness. Curling up, covering my face with arms, I tried to remember how to breath regularly.

    Wren moved but she didn¡¯t touch me. Finally.

    ¡°Gimley? What¡¯s going on?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t answer her. Not yet. Not the truth.

    I don¡¯t know how long it took for me to get my breathing under control, for my thoughts to stop threatening to tip backwards. She sat in the rain with me the entire time. It wasn¡¯t enough for me to tell her everything, or anything really, because really it just made me feel worse. I wanted to tell her to go, but I didn¡¯t have the breath to tell her until she had already gotten soaked to the skin.

    I rolled back onto my back, so that I could give her my best glare. It felt rather weak at that point. ¡°You can¡¯t tell anyone.¡±

    She gave me a nervous smile. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know what to tell them.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡±

 Book 3 - Ch. 18: Arguments in the Dark

    I ended up exactly where I didn¡¯t want to be. Scrunched up in the little tent with the rain drumming all around. The three bedrolls overlapped, given that there had barely been enough room for two, but having all three out meant that it was supposedly easier to pretend we weren¡¯t all pressed up into each other¡¯s space and no one was technically sharing a bedroll. It made for lumpy sitting.

    I pressed up against the tent flap, needing that slight assurance I could rip it open and escape without anyone blocking the exit. Neither Wren nor Juniper protested that I was blocking their exit, which was another small mercy, but I wasn¡¯t sure how things would go if anyone needed to leave to relieve themselves.

    Seeing the younger girl in the tent, rather than Nii, had been a nice shock to pull me just a little bit more out of my thoughts when Wren escorted me back. It seemed that Breck had to weather the runaway pair¡¯s messy dynamic in the other tent. But that was probably for the best. She could ignore them better than the rest of us.

    Juniper lay with her back to us, curled up on her side, much like I had been minutes before in the rain. That memory was enough to start tugging at the other memories, the dangerous ones, but I kept my breathing slow and my eyes open. Kept my focus on the gloomy interior of the tent, the way my clothes stuck to my skin, the distracting feel of water slipping down my neck, one drop at a time, from my soaked hair. The sound of the others¡¯ breathing and my own, the weight of my cloak wrapped tight around me, providing a bit of comfort and privacy, now that I had pulled it free from my pack. The air in the tent was heavy and damp, but warmer than being out under the branches.

    Part of me still wanted to tug open the tent flap¡¯s tie and slip out under the storm. Taking my chances against the cold and wet and sickness. Part of me was a fool.

    Wren had changed out of her wet clothes. Her movements had been stiff and uncertain in the dark interior of the tent, but she made an effort not accidentally bump into me and I was silently, slightly grateful for that. Her wet clothes were soaking a wet spot into my bedroll which dampened my gratitude.

    But I couldn¡¯t bring myself to snap at her to move her clothes. There wasn¡¯t really a better spot for her to put them unless we wanted wet patches dotting all the bedrolls in the tent. I couldn¡¯t bring myself to change my clothes either. Couldn¡¯t take the chance that I might accidentally brush up against one of them in the small space. So I sat, knees drawn up by the tent flap, water pooling up against my treated cloak, chilling my skin, and hoping I didn¡¯t get sick despite reluctantly taking to the tent.

    For her part, I could tell that Wren wasn¡¯t taking our forced silent company much better. Questions had been piling up on her tongue since she caught me outside, and now she strained with the effort to keep her lips shut against them. Nor did it help that Juniper and I were both radiating signals that we didn¡¯t want to be touched or comforted, and she had to fight against her own natural inclinations when it came to that as well.

    Even Chirp had caught the mood and kept himself pressed up against Wren¡¯s neck to give her what solace he could. Maybe things would have been easier if he had been his normal twittering self, but chances were that also would have strained my promise not to bag him in my cloak again.

    Time passed slowly in the tent. It would have went faster if we had a light to see by, but no one was willing to go bother Colm or Sid for a lit candle, especially when there was a strong chance it would blow out before whoever went made it back to the tent. We could have worked on projects if we had some light, but not even our eyes were good enough to be productive with both clouds and fabric blocking out light.

    It would have went even faster if we were willing to stretch out and nap the time away, but Juniper¡¯s feet were already only a couple inches from my knee and that was enough to test my tolerance. I couldn¡¯t risk the accidental touches that were bound to happen as three people shifted in their sleep in a space meant for two. So I took over the space at the front of the tent while they both filled one of the back corners.

    It wasn¡¯t surprising when Wren broke and acted on one of the few activities available to us.

    Talk.

    ¡°You know how Fern said to look for big birds to find the Rookery? Once we get there do you think we¡¯ll get to be like the Windtail?¡±

    It was a clear, desperate attempt to broach the only safe topic Wren could think of. Her words hung in the air as Juniper shifted closer to her tent wall and I took my time to answer. Apparently, boredom could win the struggle over silence.

    The Windtail was said to be a whisper woman whose blessing allowed her to call up and ride around on a gigantic bird made of wind and snow. Which was impressive until you remembered that all whisper women gained the ability to travel through shadows which, to me, made travel blessings a bit redundant. Still, she had one or two myths dedicated to her that I knew of and was mentioned in a handful of others. Most notable was the story of the Ice Tide: when the Windtail and her snow bird took the fight to the ocean and froze one of the Lady Blue¡¯s conch commanders solid. That ruined the enemy¡¯s coordination and won the day.

    ¡°I doubt any birds we find will be as mythical as hers,¡± I said.

    Wren shrugged. ¡°It would still be cool to ride around on a regular giant bird. See everything from above. Chirp tries to describe what flying is like to me sometimes, but he can only flit so far and¡ª¡±

    She cut herself off with a quick ¡°ow!¡± and then there was the sound of flapping feathers. ¡°Chirp! That hurt!¡±

    A very light weight settled on my head as Chirp twittered back at her.

    Wren pinpointed his new location and shuffled forward on her knees. ¡°Chirp, get off Gimley. Not everyone likes you using them as a perch.¡±

    More chirps.

    Wren, more hotly, ¡°I wasn¡¯t insulting you! It¡¯s not my fault you¡¯re not a hawk or a crow or some other bird with wings three times your size!¡±

    Angry chirps were joined by some hopping on my hair. It was odd to be slightly involved in a conversation I only clearly understood half of, but that reaction was clear enough. I decided to take advantage of the distraction he offered and reached up to scratch him under the chin like I had seen Wren do.

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    He accepted the attention with a happy trill until I spoke, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Chirp, Im sure she thinks you¡¯re better than a pigeon or woodpecker. You¡¯re not quite as annoying as¡ª¡±

    He bit my finger and I jerked it away as he fluttered away to make his last stand on Juniper¡¯s arm.

    Wren sounded exasperated. ¡°Chirp, please leave Juniper alone. She¡¯s not feeling well or a part of this at all.¡±

    That caught my attention. Not feeling well? I tuned out the bird and Wren as she continued to try to reason and bargain with him. Sure, I had noticed that Juniper had been more withdrawn since the festerlings, and there had been that odd moment when I woke up to her standing over me, but I hadn¡¯t seen her approach the healer¡¯s tent at all or otherwise act like something was wrong.

    Was she hiding an injury? Infection? I tried to think through the last handful of days, but I couldn¡¯t pinpoint times when she might have limped, held herself stiffly, or did an odd movement when a more common one would have worked just as well to indicate an injury. Nor had there been any odd coloration, sweats, shortness of breath, or extra fatigue that couldn¡¯t be attributed to our daily, long travels.

    No healer¡¯s beads and the memories were entirely too close, but the instincts and old habits rose up with a vengeance. To check and diagnosis. To treat.

    Never leave a patient untended.

    Her voice and one of tenets she had lived by. Of course, for her, it had been a matter of her reputation and influence. Patients were only those that she got paid to treat and if one sickened further and died under her watch then it was a terrible blow to the little bit of influence she had on the tribe. And she craved every drop.

    Which meant that every patient had to be strictly watched and tended to thoroughly and efficiently. More often than not it had been my job to watch over them while I practiced my characters or memorized a plant and its uses or treatment. Every patient was tended to because I was there, watching, while she worked on this or that.

    Perhaps the twins had been given that thankless job now. Constantly stuck in the tent to watch over the patients too sick to leave it.

    I couldn¡¯t treat Juniper now, not with the goddess possibly watching and the infuriating lack of beads in my hair, but I could, possibly, find out what was wrong. Just to scratch the itch.

    Not that I should give either of them any more hints to my healer background. Even if Wren likely knew from spending the cold season in Grislander¡¯s Maw. If she had ever went to get healed over the years she would have seen me.

    Wren finally won Chirp¡¯s huffy presence back on her shoulder with an apology and the promise of a treat. Juniper had barely moved throughout the whole bargaining exercise despite the fact that using her arm as perch had been the main topic.

    Well, silence was easiest but that had already been broken. Poking at someone else¡¯s problems was also better than mulling silently over my own. Especially with the rain and tent walls pressing in close to fling my mind back into the memories at the slightest sign of weakness.

    I focused the full weight of my attention on Juniper. ¡°Why have you been pouting like someone dropped your favorite doll in the lake?¡±

    She ignored me.

    Wren broke back into the conversation. ¡°I just got Chirp to leave her alone. She isn¡¯t feeling well. Leave her be, okay?¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    Wren sounded confused. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°How is she not feeling well?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s just not.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not an answer,¡± I said, mulish.

    Wren¡¯s voice hardened. ¡°Really? Because you didn¡¯t give me an answer about whatever happened outside. Do you want me to press you about that? Because that¡¯s what you¡¯re doing to her right now.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not the same.¡± I cast a glare at Juniper¡¯s back. ¡°You¡¯ve found quite the bodyguard to replace the old ones.¡±

    Juniper mumbled something unintelligible.

    Wren retorted back at me, ¡°It¡¯s not that different, either.¡± There was the sound of hair rustling. ¡°Why can¡¯t we all just get along?¡±

    That shocked a short bark of laughter from me. ¡°Because that¡¯s so easy.¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± she insisted. ¡°If you let it happen.¡±

    I snorted and burrowed further into my cloak. ¡°It¡¯s not wanted.¡±

    A thread of exasperated annoyance thinned Wren¡¯s normally friendly voice. ¡°Right. Because no one¡¯s good enough for you except for Prevna.¡±

    My head jerked up. ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡±

    ¡°What do you think it means?¡± and then a few heartbeats later, ¡°It¡¯s not like you hangout with anyone else.¡±

    ¡°Breck doesn¡¯t hangout with everyone either. Idra and Ento can hardly untangle themselves long enough to focus on Juniper when they¡¯re around. I don¡¯t see why you care.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±

    I rolled my eyes even though she couldn¡¯t see the movement in the dark. ¡°Great.¡± And then because I couldn¡¯t seem to help myself, ¡°It¡¯s not like you can keep your hands off Dera anyway.¡±

    Chirp twittered something before Wren shushed him and said, ¡°People can have more than one friend, Gimley.¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure why they would want to.

    Silence reigned in the tent again. Long, gloom filled moments to wonder why I had bothered worrying about Juniper or arguing with Wren. I didn¡¯t need anyone else getting too close. Didn¡¯t need friends or conversation or healing. I just needed to become a fully fledged whisper woman. After that, everything else would have to work itself out.

    Unexpectedly, Juniper was the one to break the silence next. ¡°Idra and Ento do their job well.¡±

    Her statement seemed to throw Wren off as well, so I just repeated my earlier statement, ¡°Sure.¡±

    Better that than have another aggravating conversation drag on.

    My intentions failed as Juniper stubbornly spoke up again, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have been captured if they had been there.¡±

    Wren mused, ¡°Idra¡¯s barrier would have been helpful against the festerlings¡¯ spit.¡±

    I ignored Wren¡¯s comment as I huffed out an annoyed breath. ¡°We weren¡¯t there just to protect you. Pull your own weight or face the consequences like everyone else.¡±

    ¡°But I was the team leader.¡±

    I had to work to keep most of the bite out of my voice. ¡°Was?¡±

    Juniper¡¯s voice came out muffled. ¡°You didn¡¯t even rescue me first.¡±

    Oh, for storm¡¯s sake. Sometimes, I forgot that Juniper was one of the youngest in our group, because of her solemn attitude and drive to kill the Lady Blue¡¯s creatures. Sometimes it slapped me in the face.

    I unclenched gritted teeth to speak. ¡°We had limited resources. Your blessing and fighting skills didn¡¯t match what we needed for a second rescue.¡±

    ¡°You rescued Wren.¡±

    ¡°So?¡± Wren sounded more than a little defensive.

    Juniper answered her question. ¡°You¡¯re not better at fighting than me.¡±

    ¡°She had Chirp.¡±

    ¡°So?¡± It was Juniper¡¯s turn to sound defensive.

    ¡°I thought the birds might make a good distraction.¡± I debated how rude I was willing to be and decided that I couldn¡¯t make it much worse than I had already been that day. ¡°And I didn¡¯t want to be dived at and have him twittering in my ear incessantly for not rescuing her.¡±

    Wren spoke at the same time Chirp chirped huffily. ¡°You picked me because you think Chirp is annoying?¡±

    I wasn¡¯t about to tell her that he could be cute¡ªwhen he wasn¡¯t being a gluttonous fluffball. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t have made us very stealthy.¡±

    ¡°He knows better than that.¡±

    I tilted my head to the side. ¡°Does he?¡±

    Wren sounded like she was going to keep arguing, but Juniper broke back into the conversation first. ¡°I would have been the better pick.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not even leading us now. You might have been a perfect tribe leader¡¯s daughter back in your tribe with everyone listening and waiting to do your every word, but you¡¯re not now.¡± I waited a beat so my next words had more impact. ¡°Now you¡¯re just being a spoiled child.¡±

    Everyone was fuming now.

    But it was silent except for the drum of the rain on the tent. They didn¡¯t seem to think that they had any arguments that I wouldn¡¯t counter or dismiss. They weren¡¯t really wrong. Arguments were easier than sharing or understanding or getting to know them better. In a way they were familiar though she would have shut down most of them before I even had the chance of getting the final word.

    Besides, they had already formed their opinions about me and what I should or shouldn¡¯t do. Why not feed them? It wasn¡¯t like I could see their looks of disappointment or anger in the dark and I finally, completely felt my control slip back into place without the threat of my mind tipping backwards. If nothing else I had always been good at this.

 Book 3 - Ch. 19: Ruins

    We walked and walked, and kept walking. My hip ached with it even if I had to admit that the numbing treatment Sid had given me helped with the pain. Morgan¡¯s treatments had also helped my ankle. Now it didn¡¯t even feel tender despite the exercise I was putting it through.

    We traveled down and up hills, over knotted tree roots and across creeks. More outcroppings of rock and odd boulders popped up that we had to skirt around. Now that we were nearly two weeks into our search for the Rookery, impatience started to take a toll along with the tension already causing trouble for our disjointed group. Despite feeling the need to get there now, before the First Flurry, before the other group, everyone was slowing down from exhaustion. We didn¡¯t walk up the hills as fast or always keep our feet from stumbling over roots and water.

    Sid did what he could to help, but there was only so much he could do with the supplies he had and the limited tolerance everyone had for being ¡°healed¡±. The energy bursts from a couple different concoctions he gave us weren¡¯t true healing, not according to my training, but the temporary effects did help us keep up with Fern¡¯s punishing pace and were enough to get Ulo twitchy about getting too much life.

    I wasn¡¯t sure if Fern was trying to drive one of us into taking charge again or if this was her revenge for most of the group not listening and pulling everyone deeper into the festerling mess. Or perhaps she just wanted to be free of us as soon as possible.

    Either way, as soon as we stepped into the part of the woodland that all the birds insisted only stupid birds entered and saw something towering in the distance we headed right for it. We were finally within the Big Wings territory and it stood to reason that giant birds would nest in something tall.

    As we got closer to the looming rock it became clear that no large birds were roosting on it, but Fern didn¡¯t mutter anything about wasting time, so we kept going. Even dragging with exhaustion, we couldn¡¯t resist the lure to see what it might be up close.

    It didn¡¯t take long for it to resolve into the shape of a statue. Head tilted up to the sky and wreathed in something that caught the sunlight. Hands outstretched and cupped in front of her chest.

    Nothing in my memory hinted at one of the Beloved¡¯s trials being in the area, but the statue reminded me of the ones in Flickermark. It had the same presence as them, the same significance. Unease twisted in my belly at the comparison. The goddess¡¯s work rarely boded well for others.

    The trees opened up onto a ridge that seemed a little too perfectly placed for viewing the statue without branches and pine needles getting in the way. Fern hung back as we moved to the ridge¡¯s edge to take in the statue that rose above the woodland.

    I wasn¡¯t the only one who drew in a sharp breath.

    The statue wasn¡¯t of Her Beloved like I had assumed. Like practically all of the statues I had seen or heard of.

    But that didn¡¯t mean I didn¡¯t recognize the figure.

    Enough bits and pieces of the ancient myths and legends remained. The rumors and whispers barely spoken during the sun¡¯s highest point of the one the Beloved left.

    Hair like liquid glass, golden and copper like searing sunlight, braided into a crown on her head and woven with wheat. Wide antlers like a stag curled over her head from her temples. The statue¡¯s body was gray stone, but I knew that in reality her skin was a myriad of pastel colors, each one blending into the next until you were dizzy with them. A dress of interwoven suncrest vines draped over her body and upper arms before it split in the front over her crossed legs to trail across the large open clearing the statue occupied. Had the statue been real life, the bright orange flowers would have stood out more against the deep green of the vines as they accentuated her full figure, but the gray on gray of the statue dulled the contrast. In the statue¡¯s cupped hands was a harp, strings shivering in the wind.

    And one half of the statue had been decimated. Crumbled into a pile of rubble at its base and, possibly, blown all across the woodland if the boulders we came across were any indication. Instead of being cupped safely, the harp hovered on the edge on a long drop.

    Azabel, the goddess¡¯s sister and first betrayer.

    The one who molded humanity from mud and salt, and breathed their first breath.

    I stiffened as a long, deep note moaned through the air from the harp. Music in the goddess¡¯s territory when it wasn¡¯t the Heartsong Festival or Echoes¡¯ sticks¡ªit set my teeth on edge.

    Why was the statue of another goddess, ruined or otherwise, even doing in Heliquat¡¯s territory?

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    ¡°Don¡¯t go near the statue.¡± I looked back at Fern as she continued to speak, ¡°A corpse gorger has taken up residence there.¡±

    We all shivered in understanding, though Breck looked a bit tempted to try her luck against the nightmarish creature. Most animals were smart enough to leave shamble men alone as they crossed the goddess¡¯s territory to the closest Grove, but some were dumb enough, desperate enough, that they attacked the walking corpses. No one was sure why the goddess withstood the insult, but it was said that the animals were transformed as soon as their teeth bit into the shamble men¡¯s flesh. Blood boiling black and too many mouths and obscene growth. The animals that survived the transformation became corpse gorgers, bound to defend the spot where they induced the shamble men¡¯s second death and cursed with boundless hunger. They feasted on every creature that came within their reach, living or dead. More than one myth ended with the morbid warning that dying to the creature gave the strength of your body to the corpse gorger and your soul to the Ever Dark.

    Ulo asked, ¡°The Beastwatchers haven¡¯t cleaned it out?¡±

    Fern shook her head, frustration briefly creasing her face. ¡°I heard they lost a couple teams to it. It¡¯s old and it keeps getting stronger.¡±

    No one was dumb enough to presume the goddess¡¯s preferences out loud, but I doubted I was the only one who wondered if She liked having such a creature desecrating Her sister¡¯s statue.

    Juniper asked my earlier question, ¡°Why is the statue here?¡±

    Fern shrugged. ¡°I think I heard it¡¯s from before the Era of Night, but no one can be sure.¡±

    Nii crossed her arms. ¡°Why even show us the statue? It has nothing to do with our mission.¡±

    I caught quick smile on Colm¡¯s face from where he stood next to the Sapling as Fern clearly took delight in having the upper hand even as she pretended nonchalance.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­not an official part of the mission, but the groups that make it to the top of the statue and bring back glass chips from her hair are¡­thought well of.¡±

    Breck looked like she was starting to picture battering her way through the corpse gorger, so I was glad when Wren cut in with a frown. ¡°You just said to keep away from the statue.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t see it from here, but one of the goddess¡¯s trees is growing from its head, on the crumpled side,¡± Fern said. ¡°You can walk the shadow paths to it without entering the corpse gorger¡¯s territory.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t know how to walk between different shadows,¡± Wren again.

    Fern smiled at her, but it wasn¡¯t particularly friendly. ¡°Then you learn or we move on. It¡¯s your choice.¡±

    It was a fool¡¯s choice. We had already been out on our mission for nearly two weeks and if the goddess decided to bring the First Flurry early we could only have about a week left to find the Rookery. Of course, if She was in a waiting mood we could have two or three weeks left before the beginning of the cold season.

    And the stink of dissatisfied failure clung to us. If we accomplished reaching the top of the statue it was something that we could point to if we were asked what we had done, rather than just getting rescued by a hunter squad. I wasn¡¯t sure what ¡°being thought well of¡± would do for us, but I could taste the craving in the back of my throat for that sense of accomplishment. Especially with the way our group had been breaking over the last handful of days.

    Nor could we deny the need for rest. Even if we only took a couple days to practice traveling the shadow paths that would give us the rest we needed to push on at a good pace to find the Rookery.

    The threat of time and the threat of mediocrity. That was the choice.

    Fern fixed her gaze on Juniper. ¡°They made you leader. Choose what path your group will follow.¡±

    Juniper started, and, surprisingly, I saw her gaze flick to me.

    Fern caught the glance too and her look became more stern. ¡°You choose.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s expression hardened as she lifted her chin. ¡°Statue.¡±

    Fern didn¡¯t give away whether that was the answer she wanted or not. ¡°Follow me then.¡±

    Ulo interrupted before she could take a step. ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t supposed to lead us.¡±

    Fern only partially turned toward her. ¡°Don¡¯t waste my time.¡±

    That shut the other girl up and I had to fight not to let my lips twitch up into a smile.

    Fern took us in a wide arch around the corpse gorger¡¯s territory. It took most of the rest of the day as we were still moving slow, and, despite knowing the monster shouldn¡¯t come after us, we moved as carefully and quietly as we could. No need to tempt it with a small feast of flesh if we didn¡¯t have to.

    We ended up in another odd clearing, though it was much smaller than the one that held the statue. This clearing wasn¡¯t entirely empty either. It had two¡­odd pine trees. Large chunks of the pine needles had turned a vibrant yellow rather than the usual green. The yellow was too strong for the change of color that happened to some pine needles during the warm season, too. These pine needles looked like the statue¡¯s glass hair.

    Fern gestured to the trees. ¡°These were planted from the tree growing from the statue. The connection should help you connect the shadows.¡±

    I looked up at the distant tree we could now see on the statue. Its roots had dug into the broken rock and the back of the head. I had no idea how it was surviving without soil or a clear source of water, but if it was goddess made then there was little point questioning it.

    Wren eyed the odd colored trees warily. ¡°Are you sure they¡¯re safe?¡±

    Fern drew in a long breath before letting it out. ¡°Yes.¡± And then, ¡°We don¡¯t leave until your leader makes the decision.¡±

    I glared at her for that announcement. It felt entirely too much like Jin¡¯s forceful lessons about teamwork and with how broken the group had become, I wasn¡¯t sure we could reach whatever conclusion she was pressing us for before we missed our deadline. Of course, all Juniper had to do was announce that we were done here and we would move on, but with the way she had been acting I wasn¡¯t sure I could trust her to make the logical decision anymore.

    Fern settled against one of the trees ringing the clearing with the air of someone who wouldn¡¯t even move for the Warming Winds while Colm began to set up camp. We followed his example and got our tents set up before we set our sights on the shadows spreading out under the two trees while he made the evening meal.

    It was time to see if I had magically gotten better at shadow walking from the few times I had done it on our journey.

 Book 3 - Ch. 20: Paths of Shadow

    I had not. Or, at least, not in a way that made it so I could show everyone up and immediately travel through different shadows.

    After spending so long in the shadows while I had recovered from the festerling¡¯s spit, I could tell that the yellow and green pine trees¡¯ shadows were different. It didn¡¯t matter which one I fell into, in the oil and fog world of the shadow paths it felt like they were¡­stretching towards something. That hadn¡¯t happened in the other shadows.

    With goddess made pine trees and shadows, they demanded attention. They weren¡¯t something you could just ignore. That made it easier to grasp ahold of the one you picked and slip in and out of it, but the whole time I was in the shadows paths it felt like the shadow I had entered was trying to swallow me whole. I couldn¡¯t spare any thought towards finding another shadow to exit out of, even if I knew how, because of the overwhelming presence of the one I had used as an entrance.

    With regular pine tree shadows it still felt somewhat difficult to enter and exit them, like I had to force my way in or spend time untying a simple door knot, but then there was nothing when I was actually in the shadow paths. No path to follow or anything else to sense, no obvious hint for what to do next.

    This felt like a hint. Like I was supposed to follow where the shadows stretched to, but there weren¡¯t any tree shaped shadows to follow in the shadow paths. There weren¡¯t any shadows at all, oddly enough. Just the fog obscuring everything and endless oil slick floor.

    I tried to follow the sensation then. Grasp ahold of the point the shadow was stretching towards, but each time I tried it felt like I was being blocked from going further or I couldn¡¯t find where the shadows were going or it slipped through my fingers. Or all of the above.

    It didn¡¯t take long for my frustration to reach a boiling point. I could be patient, I could, when it felt like I was making some kind of progress and when a deadline wasn¡¯t breathing down my neck. But as it was, it had already been nearly a day, the First Flurry was looming closer, and I was still popping out of shadows where I didn¡¯t want to.

    I left the shadow I was in then and ended up near the tree¡¯s trunk. And only a step or two away from Juniper. She took a startled step backward at the same time I did. Then her expression hardened and I slipped away as she disappeared into the shadow.

    Given that we only had two shadows to work with we had split into two groups of three. Wren had declared that Ulo and Nii were with her and dragged them off to the other tree. I wasn¡¯t sure if she was taking one for the team or simply trying to keep away from me after our argument in the tent. Either way it left me, Juniper, and Breck with the remaining dual colored tree, which was already more cramped than we were used to training with.

    Using the shadow wasn¡¯t the problem. It was a good size, so there was more than enough room for us all to stand on it and enter the shadow paths at the same time. The trouble came with exiting the shadow¡ªlike the awkward encounter with Juniper. I wasn¡¯t entirely sure how well the others could control where they left the shadow, but there had been a handful or more of incidents, and I knew I wasn¡¯t responsible for all of them.

    Fern had graduated from lounging at the clearing¡¯s edge to training of her own. I watched as she faced Colm in a practice bout of hand to hand combat. She won, of course, but it was still weird to see her facing off against an old man who had the competent moves of an experienced fighter. Of course, Creed had fought along with the others on the shore and he had mentioned how fire starters all got basic training in the Seedling Palace, but it was one thing to see Creed fighting and quite another with Colm. He put me in mind of Old Spinner, back in the tribe, and I don¡¯t think Old Spinner even knew how to throw a proper punch.

    Still, Colm was a good enough practice partner to put Fern through her paces and to give Wren enough time to glance over, try to talk herself out of whatever she was thinking about doing, glance over again, and then stride on over to the pair.

    Wren crossed her arms as Fern put Colm in a headlock. ¡°This isn¡¯t working.¡±

    Colm patted Fern¡¯s arm and she let him go before turning to face Wren. ¡°What isn¡¯t?¡±

    Wren gestured angrily back at the trees. ¡°Shadow walking! We don¡¯t know what we¡¯re doing and pretending like we do is wasting time.¡±

    ¡°Your group leader should be bringing this to me.¡± Fern took the water pouch Colm was offering and took a drink. ¡°Besides, you¡¯ve had two months practice. My group had less and we still figured it out.¡±

    Wren didn¡¯t budge. ¡°Juniper¡¯s busy. And we didn¡¯t practice going between shadows.¡±

    ¡°Bother me when she isn¡¯t busy.¡±

    Juniper chose that moment to appear from the shadow.

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    Wren grinned. ¡°There she is! Give me a moment.¡± She hustled over to the younger girl and started dragging her back over to Fern and Colm. ¡°I was just telling them that we weren¡¯t making any progress like this. Don¡¯t you agree?¡±

    Juniper looked somewhere between shocked and miffed, but she went along with Wren¡¯s ploy and nodded.

    Wren pressed her advantage. ¡°So don¡¯t you think that Fern should teach us or at least give us some kind of clue about what we should be doing? Apparently, her group had less time than us to practice and they still completed this challenge.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s expression cleared of shock at that last bit of information and she drew her spine up straight. ¡°I do.¡±

    Fern glanced over at Colm before relenting. ¡°Fine, but I¡¯m not repeating myself, so make sure you have everyone you want to hear in front of me in the next fifteen minutes.¡±

    Because Wren was involved, everyone was in front of Fern before her time limit was up. She looked over us with a fair bit of frustration. ¡°You¡¯ve had at least two months practice. You¡¯ve experienced others¡¯ shadow walking. These trees are connected to the one on the statue, so distance should be less of a factor. Why do you think you¡¯re failing at the basic skill that your boon grants you?¡±

    Wren¡¯s lips pressed together. ¡°We don¡¯t know what we are supposed to do.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Fern¡¯s tone was short. ¡°You do know. You know the basics: step into the shadow paths, find the shadow you want to exit from, focus on it, reach it, and step out again. You¡¯re just ignoring something fundamental.¡±

    ¡°Which is?¡± Nii asked.

    ¡°The shadow paths aren¡¯t real. They aren¡¯t predetermined or already made. You have to make them, every time you enter. That can be in and out of the same shadow or in and out of different ones. It makes no difference either way¡ªin both cases you should be shaping the paths around you, not trying to fit yourself to them.¡±

    I blinked.

    It was simple. But I hadn¡¯t been doing that.

    I had been trying to feel the shadows like they were already linked together, already a pathway, but of course they weren¡¯t. They were shadows. I was the one with the power to walk them, to link them together. I had to make them do what I wanted.

    Breck had turned her bored gaze on Fern. ¡°If traveling through the same shadow or different ones doesn¡¯t make a difference, why didn¡¯t we learn how to travel through different ones first?¡±

    Fern looked like she was struggling not to roll her eyes. ¡°We didn¡¯t want to have to search you out in forest while you were practicing. Keeping everyone to one shadow at first keeps things tidy and, besides, precision is more difficult within a single shadow. If you increase your precision for appearing exactly where you want to in a single shadow, you¡¯ll have even more control when you¡¯re traveling over distance.¡±

    Confusion drew Wren¡¯s eyebrows together. ¡°A single shadow is more difficult?¡±

    Fern nodded. ¡°It all appears the same in the shadow paths, so if you were able to appear on a branch like you wanted, or near the trunk, or anything else, then it means you had a strong image of the path you wanted and had enough control to manipulate the shadows to take you exactly where you wanted.¡±

    The memory of Hana causally pulling me into the shadow paths, taking one step, and making us reappear a few feet from where she had pulled me in flashed through my mind. If control within a single shadow was as difficult as Fern said, and she had that kind of control, it was no wonder that she had been able to travel an insane distance to a single newly grown pine tree in the middle of Flickermark.

    ¡°If we¡¯re moving the shadows around us then why do whisper women walk in the shadow paths?¡± Juniper asked.

    ¡°Because you¡¯re not moving the shadows. You¡¯re making a link and there will always be some distance to travel to cross that link.¡± Fern swept her gaze over us, unimpressed. ¡°That¡¯s all you should need. If you still have trouble then figure it out yourself or talk to the others in your group.¡±

    We listened to the clear dismissal and broke away from her, back to our respective shadows. Breck, Juniper, and I all shared a look as we stood under the green and yellow tree before we stomped our heels down. The shadow broke under me as I fell into the shadow paths.

    I took in a deep breath as I took in the swirling gray and silver smoke, and did what I could to set my frustration aside. Again there was the sense of the tree¡¯s shadow stretching out into the distance to reach something else. Rather than try to follow that sensation, like I had for the past day, I focused my attention on the shadow of the other pine tree in the clearing. I wasn¡¯t sure yet about the one on the statue, but that one had to be within my reach.

    I built a picture of it in my mind, down to the last detail that I could remember, like it was a plant I was memorizing for my healer¡¯s training and placing in the field outside of my memory tent. Every green and yellow needle, the rough brown bark, the roots burrowing into the ground, the gray-black shadow shifting slighting from the wind over the grass.

    I nearly lost my hold on the image when I felt that shadow push through the haze of the shadow paths and my awareness of the one I entered. As soon as I recovered, I clamped ahold of the other shadow, keeping my awareness on it. Not entirely conscious of what I was doing¡ªother than that doing it felt right¡ªI tied the two shadows together. Creating a path. Then I took a moment to orient myself before I strode forward. I could feel the shadow I had entered at my back and the other shadow in front of me, the link tugging at my mind.

    It only took six steps for me to sense the second shadow under my feet. I stomped my heel down and then I was falling.

    The world was a blur of green, yellow, and blue as I kept falling as I exited the shadow. A thin branch whipped past as it scratched my arm. The ground felt like a gut punch as it knocked the air from my lungs.

    But I couldn¡¯t help but grin.

    I was across the clearing. Laying in the shadow of the other odd tree.

    I had walked the shadows.

    Even if the landing left a lot to be desired and I doubted that I would be able to do the same with regular pine trees.

    I had walked the shadows without a whisper woman dragging me behind her like a child.

    My grin stretched a little wider. If beating Hana at her own game took detailed mental images, focus, control, and simple practice, then I had a lot going in my favor. After all, I had childhood¡¯s worth of those things and it wouldn¡¯t be difficult to redirect my use of them to an new pursuit.

 Book 3 - Ch. 21: Old Practice, New Insight

    While it was tempting to immediately try my hand at shadow walking to the statue, I wasn¡¯t foolish enough to risk it with my current control. I¡¯d had enough of plummeting through the air from trees and, if I did fall, I didn¡¯t want to know what barely surviving a corpse gorger attack felt like.

    Besides, I needed to make sure I could make the trip between shadows consistently and that it wasn¡¯t just a fluke. That was the most fundamental part of the skill I had to master before it made sense to mess with anything else too much. I wouldn¡¯t exactly be able to practice my control over my destination if I couldn¡¯t even make the connection between the shadows.

    Rather than get up and stomp my heel into the shadow like I normally did, I took the opportunity to try to will the shadow to open for me like I had during the first festerling fight.

    Resistance pressed up against my mind like there was a film over the shadow that I normally kicked through when I stomped through the shadow. Like a flap covering the entrance to a tent, not an incredibly strong barrier, but enough to keep out prying eyes and unwanted guests when it was knotted closed.

    I felt like I was scrambling at it with only my fingernails.

    Of course, forcibly kicking my way through would be easier, but I remembered how smooth Hana¡¯s transitions had been through the shadows, how rough Fern¡¯s passage had been through the shadows compared to the whisper women who had taken me with them. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if those smooth transitions were a sign of skill with the boon. And now that I had done it once I already knew I wouldn¡¯t be satisfied if I was merely good at shadow walking.

    Hana had looked down on me. I wanted to see her face when she couldn¡¯t deny that I was better at it than her. When I could travel through lighter shadows, smaller shadows, across the goddess¡¯s whole territory while perfectly pinpointing which part of the shadow I stepped out of.

    During the fight I had just pushed and pushed until I forced my way into the shadow. I could that again, but it felt similar to kicking my way through. Just slower. Which wasn¡¯t ideal if I needed to escape in the middle of a fight again.

    If the end of the shadow path could be controlled, why couldn¡¯t the beginning? Maybe I didn¡¯t need to feel like I was falling every time I entered the shadow paths. Perhaps I didn¡¯t need to end up sprawled out on the shadow paths¡¯ smooth floor every time. The whisper women and Fern certainly kept to their feet when they made the transition.

    I pictured all the different ways I had seen whisper women enter and leave the shadows. The whisper women who had brought the Carver¡¯s maze caskets to the tribe had risen out of the shadows like they were rising from a deep pool. Hana had done something similar when she came to deliver Flickermark¡¯s trial to Fellen and me, and she had even left her feet dangling in the shadow. That was something I couldn¡¯t even imagine doing right now.

    The goddess had brushed the shadow aside like She was merely stepping from a large tent and the Chosen had followed her. Other whisper women had stomped their heels into the shadow or seemingly seemed to disappear into it without doing a thing.

    Mental images were important. That was clear from how I managed to create my path between shadows, but perhaps that was true even before I tried to connect shadows together? I habitually pictured the shadows as tent entrances. What would happen then if I pictured something else?

    Drawing on my memories, I pictured the shadow underneath me as if it was a pool of water. Not deep, not wind tossed, but cool and wet and sandy on the bottom, like the very edge of First Shore Lake on a quiet day. Like the day we all did our laundry by the boulder. To that image I added the conviction that the surface of the water wasn¡¯t strong enough to support a body, that I should be sinking beneath the surface.

    Gravity shifted and for a disorienting moment I felt like I couldn¡¯t breathe or I would drown, but then I opened my eyes to the smoke and oil landscape of the shadow paths. I smiled to myself. No flailing, no falling. Still on my back, but I hadn¡¯t expected to find myself standing when I hadn¡¯t started that way.

    Well, that answered one question.

    After I stood up, I focused on making the pathway to the tree I had started at. The image formed quicker this time. Which made sense because it was the tree I was more familiar with¡ªand having done the process once it was easier to do a second time.

    This time when I felt the shadows connect it didn¡¯t catch me off guard the way it had the first time, though I was surprised in a new way. Rather than ignoring the feeling of the shadow stretching toward something in the distance, this time I focused on it, connected it to my image of the tree. The path practically built itself. It felt¡ªeager to follow that sensation, to cross the final gap between shadows. I didn¡¯t have time to make my image of the tree nearly as detailed as I had the first time when I felt the connection snap into place and tied the shadows together.

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    My lips twisted at the feeling of leaving things half done, but I didn¡¯t waste time trying to make the image more detailed when the pathway was already in place. That was what Fern apparently meant when she said it would be easier to walk the shadows with these trees.

    Instead, I followed the pathway I had made until I sensed that I was on top of the second shadow. I took a few moments to debate whether I should stomp my heel down like normal or try the water trick again.

    The stomp won out simply because I wasn¡¯t sure how to go about the water trick from inside the shadow paths. To leave the shadow like it was a pool of water would I need to press my head against the ground so that I would come out head first? Press my hands through? How would I tell that they were on the other side so that I could press down and haul the rest of my body through? Did I just need the mental image of rising out of the water?

    The stomp wasn¡¯t quite what I normally did, however. Rather than just stomping down to break through the shadow, I pictured it more as a forceful step. There was another moment of disorientation as my sense of up and down shifted, but then I was stumbling from the shadow covering the pine¡¯s trunk. No falling, on my feet, if a bit unsteady.

    I kept the memory close in the pot in my memory tent like I had whenever I was learning about a new plant or technique. It was easier to compare to what I did differently each time that way, what worked better. Soon I¡¯d need to make another spot to contain the memories I had associated with shadow walking. The pot could only hold so many recent memories and that way all the relevant ones would be together.

    I looked up from the shadow dappled ground to find Fern, Ulo, Wren, and Juniper staring at me. Apparently, my two trips across the clearing hadn¡¯t gone unnoticed. My smiled turned a bit more triumphant. Now the rest of the group had the unenviable position of needing to ask me for advice if they wanted help.

    My smile soured a bit when I realized that meant I¡¯d probably have people bothering me in the near future.

    Fern left the side of the clearing so she didn¡¯t have shout, her gaze searching, mouth tight. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to learn the technique first.¡±

    I shrugged and ignored the fact that Ulo was sprinting across the grass at me. ¡°I guess you¡¯re a good teacher.¡±

    Fern looked like she wasn¡¯t sure if that was a compliment. I wasn¡¯t sure if I meant it as one. After all, I had discovered the things that made it so I wasn¡¯t flailing everywhere on my own. Even if she had provided the context for what I¡¯d been doing wrong.

    ¡°You cheated!¡± Ulo didn¡¯t sound like she entirely believed her own accusation, though her voice became more certain the longer she spoke. ¡°You were worse than all of us! It doesn¡¯t make sense that you can suddenly travel between shadows. You must have cheated.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°You really think I could cheat the goddess?¡±

    Her jaw clenched tight but she still forced out more words. ¡°That¡¯s not what I said.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I heard.¡± I gestured to the unusual trees. ¡°It¡¯s Her boon.¡±

    If nothing else Ulo could match me in sheer stubbornness. ¡°You must have.¡±

    I beat her in intellect though. ¡°How?¡±

    Ulo¡¯s fist clenched and I wondered if she was going to try to hit me in front of Fern for asking a basic question. Wren reached us and placed a warning hand on her shoulder. Juniper kept watching everything unfold from a handful of feet away.

    I could have kept pushing Ulo, drive her into a rage like I had before, but I didn¡¯t feel like getting punched when I could still feel the rush of accomplishment. So I looked to Fern and the Sapling took the cue.

    ¡°You can¡¯t cheat using one of the boons. You can be better at it, or worse, but you can¡¯t cheat. Implying that is sacrilegious.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    I cut Ulo off. ¡°Guess I¡¯m just talented.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t make sense.¡± Ulo¡¯s normally straight posture hunched in as she glared at me. ¡°You¡¯re life ridden.¡±

    Of course we were back to that. She couldn¡¯t get past it.

    I smirked at her. ¡°Another goddess given talent. Careful, if you keep pressing the issue the goddess might think you¡¯re claiming She¡¯s life ridden as well as an idiot.¡±

    All the blood fled from Ulo¡¯s face. It took her a few tries to get her mouth to work. ¡°I..no¡ªI didn¡¯t¡ª¡±

    She gave up, angry tears brimming in her eyes.

    I tilted my head slightly to the side. ¡°You can go now.¡±

    She left to take refuge in her tent. I was sure revenge would come sooner or later, but in that moment I couldn¡¯t bring myself to care. When it came to words, I doubted she would ever win the fight. Her mind only seemed to work in straight lines.

    ¡°So?¡±

    I blinked at Wren¡¯s question. ¡°What?¡±

    She raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°If you didn¡¯t cheat, how did you do it?¡±

    I fought the urge to sigh. Part of me didn¡¯t want to answer because answering invited more questions, another part didn¡¯t want to just hand over my hard work to everyone else, a third, small part wanted to answer honestly because it was Wren asking, and the last part was fine with answering but being decidedly unhelpful.

    The last part won out.

    ¡°Try being stuck in a tent for years. You get good at imagining what everything outside it looks like.¡±

    Her eyebrows drew together before she opened her mouth to say something, stopped, and then asked, ¡°What?¡±

    I glanced to either side and saw that both Fern and Juniper looked a little wide eyed. My jaw clenched. Something in my tone must have given away that I meant what I said a little more literally than most would.

    Well, I wasn¡¯t going to explain more. That would inevitably lead to my healer¡¯s training and other things they didn¡¯t need to know.

    ¡°I need to keep practicing.¡±

    I slipped away into the realm of the shadow paths before any of them could question me further. It was only a temporary solution, but all I needed was time to come up with an answer that wasn¡¯t the truth if any of them pressed me about it. It wasn¡¯t like they could do anything about what happened in the past, anyways.

    I took the time to review my memories of shadow walking as well. Not just the two times I managed to travel between different shadows on my own, but the times I had traveled in and out of the same one, and the times others had taken me with them. Better here in the swirling quiet than under the threat of interruption outside. By the time I finished, I had a few more theories I wanted to test.

 Book 3 - Ch. 22: Success and Failure

    The days continued to slip by as we practiced. Everyone started to glance up at the sky when they weren¡¯t in the shadows as they tried to judge if there were more clouds than normal. Quiet discussions about whether the air had more of a cold bite to it or what the weather had been like during the days leading up to previous cold seasons crept in around meal times.

    There wasn¡¯t an infallible way to predict how soon the First Flurry was going to come, but that didn¡¯t stop people from trying their hand at it every year. Somehow the tribe Grandmothers always had warning, but that was a matter of hours, not days¡¯ notice.

    We ate through the last of our preserved food. No one, not even Breck, seemed as keen on hunting and gathering now that we weren¡¯t moving and we had a timeline breathing down the back of our necks. However, with our limited stores dwindling, Fern mandated a rotating schedule where half of us would have to go collect food for at least a few hours while the other three got to keep practicing. The next day the other half had their practice time cut into.

    Fern said she couldn¡¯t help with the hunting and gathering because she was already stepping in more than she should. So she got to have her own practice sessions and judge our attempts at shadow walking without interruption. Colm and Sid kept us supplied with water, cooked meals, and a tidy campsite.

    After everyone learned of¡ªand witnessed¡ªmy new skill with shadow walking, the competitive drive to get better faster stepped up. More so than I think it would have if anyone else had achieved walking through two shadows before me. Apparently no one thought I would be true competition when it came to shadow walking, which wasn¡¯t surprising after my struggles over the past two months, but it still stung a bit.

    Now I was determined to continue outpacing everyone else and they were determined to become second. Wren spread the word that I had mentioned ¡®imagination¡¯ while brushing over the rest of my comment. I still got the occasional odd, considering look from her and Fern though. Juniper kept herself impassive.

    I kept my focus on expanding my ability to sense the shadows around me, and making my transition in and out of the shadows as smooth and quick as possible. I had mixed success.

    Faint shadows still escaped my general notice and the couple times I managed to sense one I had to pour all of my focus on it¡ªeven then it felt like a small tent entrance that was closed tight with multiple layers and difficult knots. It didn¡¯t matter how I tried to shift my perception of it to a pool of water or a hole in the ground; the tent entrance image overrode everything else and kept me locked out.

    I could pass in and out of dark shadows of regular pine trees without too much trouble. Middling shadows were on a case by case basis when I tried to pass through more than one, but if I just wanted to enter and exit the same one then only the small sized ones gave me real trouble. Somehow I couldn¡¯t get the paths between those shadows to¡­catch as easily as when I created one between the shadows cast by the yellow and green pine trees did. Like I didn¡¯t have the strength to hold the path in place yet.

    Otherwise, I could feel my awareness of the shadows around me slowly improving and expanding as I tested my boundaries again and again, both in and out of the shadow paths. Outside the paths, it was a constant awareness of shadows that I could use as gateways in my vicinity. That awareness could be dulled so that it could be comfortably ignored until you needed to step into the shadow paths. Within the shadow paths, I had to direct my awareness more. There the only shadow that stood out right away was the one I had entered. After that I had to cast out my awareness with a mental picture of what I wanted and focus. With some experimentation I learned that I didn¡¯t need to picture a tree I had already seen. Instead I could picture the area I wanted to go to or shadows with certain characteristics, like large, dark shadows, but, more often than not, I could feel myself butting up against my range when I tried that. The shadows I wanted just out of reach, too resistant for me to open up into a pathway when they were just fine being simple shadows.

    My ability to control where I left a shadow left something to be desired, but I stopped dropping out from the bottom of branches. The same could be said of my path creating speed. I could consistently make pathways between the two bi-colored trees, but it took me a matter of minutes. Which was annoying when I knew it took whisper women a matter of seconds. Still, I knew better than to try to fix everything at once. There wasn¡¯t enough time.

    Wren won second place. I was coming back from a gathering trip when I saw her slip into one shadow and pop out of the other one a handful of minutes later. She squealed in excitement as Chirp fluttered around her and I bit back a smile as I gave her a nod of acknowledgment. Juniper pouted. Ulo pouted. Breck and Nii kept their focus on their own training after congratulating her.

    It didn¡¯t surprise me that she beat everyone else. Out of all of them she seemed to have the most vivid imagination and she had navigation training.

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    The rest of the group started improving quicker after that. I think Wren described her experience and tried to help them along, but I didn¡¯t pay much attention to that. I only noted when I saw or heard about someone else traveling through the shadows. Nii and Breck managed the feat later that same day and, disappointingly, Ulo traveled through the shadows the next morning.

    No one made the crossing to the statue. I don¡¯t know if they were simply holding off or, like me, they could tell that they needed a bit more practice before making the longer path even with the shadows straining towards each other.

    By the fifth day in the clearing Juniper was the only one still stuck to one shadow. Her usual self-important posture and composed features were utterly gone. Her sullen air radiated outward in full effect, though any bit of tranquility that normally softened the resignation was missing entirely.

    I overheard Wren trying to cheer her up by the tents, but that had the opposite effect more than anything else. I don¡¯t think Juniper appreciated the earnest platitudes and bits of advice anymore than I did as Wren¡¯s voice drifted over to me. Not when Wren¡¯s success was part of why she was feeling like a failure.

    I glanced up at the late morning sky. Clouds didn¡¯t seem to be gathering up, but I could have sworn there was a chill to the air. My instincts insisted that the First Flurry would be coming soon. Maybe not in the next few days, but perhaps in a week or so. We were running out of time and Fern wouldn¡¯t let us leave until Juniper made the call. The way things were going it seemed like she had either somehow forgotten about the deadline or was determined to take us all down with her if she couldn¡¯t walk the shadows.

    After awhile Wren gave up as her help was met with silence and noncommittal noises. I waited, but when I didn¡¯t hear any more movement I got up and made my way over to Juniper. Setting my new walking stick down next to me, I sat by her side and kept quiet too.

    I felt like Prevna and the idea made an awkward feeling of warmth and embarrassment spread across my chest. Motivational speaking wasn¡¯t my forte and I never wanted it to be, but my best bet for pulling Juniper out of her head had just failed, so now, unless I wanted to rely on hope, time, and wishes, I had to do something.

    I knew disappointment and failure. High expectations and watching others achieve what I couldn¡¯t with ease. Perhaps I couldn¡¯t encourage Juniper to get her pumped up and hopeful, but I knew about self importance and spite and holding onto a sense of control with a death grip.

    Juniper spared a glance for me and I waited for her to get up, move away, but instead she kept sitting in the tent¡¯s shade until her patience broke.

    ¡°What?¡± she snapped.

    I met her gaze. ¡°Are you the type of person who can only do well when things are easy for you?¡±

    ¡°Wh¡ª¡±

    I kept going as if she hadn¡¯t started speaking and swung my gaze back onto the yellow and green pine tree in front of us. ¡°Because you did well on the shore. You kept your head during the fights and didn¡¯t slack when we practiced, but you seem to have a special vendetta against the fish.¡± I waved my hand in a circular motion, taking in the woodland around us. ¡°But now without the ocean in sight you seem to be giving up after every little thing. You were all for responsibility until the festerlings and now you hand it off to anyone who demands a scrap of it. Maybe you really can¡¯t think for yourself.¡± I shrugged. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you were that weak, but now¡ª¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±

    I waited for more, but when she didn¡¯t say anything else I huffed out a breath. ¡°Could have fooled me.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s voice became harsher, more brittle. ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±

    I rolled my eyes at her. ¡°Prove it.¡±

    Her glare bored into me and out of the corner my eye I could see that her posture had straightened. ¡°How?¡±

    I did look at her then, matching her glare with indifference. ¡°Walk the shadows. Lead the team. Get more skilled than everyone else¡ªI don¡¯t care. I shouldn¡¯t have to tell you if you really aren¡¯t weak.¡±

    I got up with my walking stick and looked down on her before saying my last piece. ¡°All you¡¯re doing now is proving that your tribe shouldn¡¯t have bothered wasting resources on you.¡±

    Juniper kept sitting there as I walked away, but I allowed myself a bit of pride. Rather than the dull look she had started out with she now had the look of someone determined to fight injustice.

    Wren¡¯s hand snaked out from around a different tent and grabbed me by the arm. I froze at the unexpected contact, just barely managing not to stumble, before I ripped my arm from her grip. I scowled at her and bit back the need to tell her not to touch me. She didn¡¯t need any more reminders of my oddities after my recent comment about tents and what had happened when she chased me through the rain. Even if she really should remember what I had told her then too.

    She shook her head at me and asked in a low voice, ¡°Did you really think that would help?¡±

    Juniper stomping toward the pine tree saved me from answering, so I just lifted my eyebrows at Wren and then kept heading toward the cooking area. The midday meal would be ready soon and food would help settle the flutters that had bubbled up in my stomach. Not that I had any need to be nervous. I had barely spoken to Wren even if she had startled me, and all I had really done with Juniper was antagonize her¡ªwhich was what I did with everyone.

    Really, I shouldn¡¯t have been surprised that it worked so well.

    That afternoon Juniper grudgingly allowed Wren to walk her through what she had done to shadow walk step by step. Then practiced for hours on end. She didn¡¯t even stop for the evening meal. No one realized that she was trying to shadow walk to the tree on the statue until the moon was rising high in the sky and Wren woke everyone in camp yelling that Juniper hadn¡¯t appeared from the shadow for nearly a half an hour. That wasn¡¯t too concerning, given that we all had spent that long in the shadow paths at one time or another while we practiced, but what echoed through the air was.

    Thin, high pitched screams that came from the direction of the statue.

 Book 3 - Ch. 23: Partial Rescue

    We ran for the moonlit shadows. I tossed my walking stick to the side as soon as I stepped onto the darkened ground. It would be more of a hindrance than a help up in a tree. Besides, the days of relative rest had helped my hip heal quicker. It was yellowing and would hold my weight as long as I didn¡¯t take any hits there.

    I stomped my foot into the odd pine¡¯s shadow. It wasn¡¯t the time for experiments. Quick and dirty or we might be too late to help Juniper with whatever she was screaming about. Blinking away disorientation that always came with slipping into the shadow paths, I ignored the swirling smoke and latched onto the feeling of the tree¡¯s shadow stretching into the distance. But rather than bridging the small gap at its end to the other bi-colored pine in the clearing I reached further.

    Farther.

    Yellow and green needles rustling over open air. Brushing against smooth golden glass. Crumbling gray stone. A gray-brown trunk curving upwards. Proud, unbroken. Roots digging into stone without care for the natural way of things. The fresh scent of pine thick on a light breeze. Goddess grown.

    Detail upon detail I added to the mental image. More detail¡ªmore time¡ªthan I liked before the path finally caught between the two shadows, even with them trying to connect. I tied the path in place with a mental twist.

    I couldn¡¯t sprint but I strode down the shadow path as quick as I could. Stomped my heel through the new shadow as soon as I felt it under my feet.

    The scent of pine and¡­charred wood overwhelmed everything else. One foot started to slip off the new rounded surface beneath my feet. I grabbed for the nearest branch and hung on. Juniper¡¯s screams were much closer now and coming from above me.

    Goddess grown didn¡¯t always mean a tree stayed goddess touched.

    That was the realization that shoved the last of my disorientation away.

    Light wood streaked down the pine¡¯s bark¡ªmarking a path where lightning had scarred and cracked it open. The strike could have happened during the last storm I ran out in or the various ones that must have covered the sky since Fern last did this test with her group. Either way the pine was no longer the proud thing I had pictured. What it still could pretend to be from a distance.

    I had stepped out of the shadows near the tree¡¯s roots. Even in the shadowy dark, I could make out a few scorch marks on the stone around the trunk. Some of it had crumbled away, leaving the roots exposed or unattached. Not enough for the tree¡¯s weight to pull it free from where it was anchored into the statue, but enough that it was only a matter of time between weather damage and the tree¡¯s growth, if it grew.

    The tree groaned quietly as someone else stepped from the shadows higher up in the branches. There was already some other movement up there, someone talking. I forced my attention away from the roots and crumbling stone, and began to carefully climb.

    It didn¡¯t take me long to realize what Juniper was yelling about.

    A third of the upper part of the tree was starting to peel away from the rest along the lightning¡¯s wound. Juniper had the misfortune of appearing from the shadows in that dangerous, teetering section. She clung to the bottom of a branch, arms and legs wrapped tightly around it, unable to move herself to safety without risking that the last bit of wood holding the tree together would pull free.

    Fern had stepped out of the shadows before me. She was already on the sturdy branches below Juniper, trying to reach up to grab her, but Juniper was out of reach. Fern tried to reason with Juniper, but she wasn¡¯t making much progress.

    Surprisingly, Nii was the person who had exited the pine¡¯s shadow after me. Part of me hoped that the others took a bit longer to make their paths or couldn¡¯t make it. I wasn¡¯t sure the tree could support all the additional weight and it was a long fall to the ground.

    As it was, though, the three of us didn¡¯t have a lot of good options when it came to rescuing Juniper. Fern was the tallest and couldn¡¯t reach her, my short height wasn''t going to make a difference. Someone could climb up on Fern¡¯s shoulders, but that would be more likely to send everyone tumbling than the chance of the rescue attempt working. If anyone tried to climb onto the section Juniper was clinging to then both would be in free fall after the trunk finished splitting.

    Really, our best option was for Juniper to save herself. The bottom of the slim branch she clung to was covered in shadow. If she just focused she could force her way into it and make a path back to the clearing. That wasn¡¯t something I thought she¡¯d ever have a problem with until now.

    At the realization that Juniper could do more for herself than any of us could a lot of my anxiety quieted down. Annoyance set in as I actually tuned into what she was screaming. It was a lot of ¡®help me¡¯ and ¡®do something¡¯ and ¡®I can¡¯t¡¯ with a few ¡®it¡¯s too high¡¯ mixed in. Part of me struggled to reconcile this blubbering girl with the stoic one I had first met in the Seedling Palace until Juniper demanded Fern to get her down.

    It was quite simple really.

    Juniper was a sheltered tribe leader¡¯s daughter with an apparent fear of heights. She delegated, she observed, she ordered. But she had little practical knowledge. Everything she knew was secondhand. Oh, she had the pearl and her blessing, and those had probably helped her pretend like she had earned her position in the tribe. But she didn¡¯t know how to fight, she fell apart as soon as she wasn¡¯t the priority. Juniper was quick to cover her mistakes, to project her authority, but she could do little for herself.

    She always had others to do those things for her.

    Idra and Ento weren¡¯t so quick to jump between her and a threat just because it was their duty. They did it because, if they didn¡¯t, she was as dead as a fish in a trap. Her special power with the pearl was slow to activate and she had likely been protected from any true danger since birth. She didn¡¯t have the honed instincts to protect herself.

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    She hadn¡¯t neglected to mention the crawler¡¯s ability to deflect piercing attacks out of some devious plan. That likely was common knowledge among the huntresses in her tribe¡ªso common, in fact, that they neglected to mention it during her lessons. Instead, Juniper learned that they did cutting attacks against the creatures and had no reason to question why or experience the truth for herself until we fought one.

    Juniper was as strong as the support system around her.

    And, now, with her bodyguards in another group miles away and her expectations being undermined, she didn¡¯t have much a support system to speak of. Her mask of authority was cracked, her air of calm strength shattered. There wasn¡¯t a thing she could say to change the current predicament she found herself in.

    I wanted the normal Juniper I knew back. She had been one of the few tolerable people in our cohort.

    I climbed up in the tree so that I was near Fern and Nii. I spoke to the one who could hit anything she aimed at. ¡°Hit her in the nose.¡±

    Nii scowled at me. ¡°With what? And why?¡±

    I gestured dismissively. ¡°A sling stone, a pine cone, I don¡¯t care. I doubt it¡¯ll shock her enough to let go, but it should help her out of the panic.¡±

    Fern gave me a stern look. ¡°If she falls¡­¡±

    ¡°You catch her and pull her into the shadow paths. Or, if that fails, Nii can pin her to a branch with her knife and we get to her before she falls more.¡±

    Fern cast an appraising glance at Nii.

    Nii answered her unspoken question. ¡°I don¡¯t miss.¡±

    The tree groaned and shuddered for a moment as someone else stepped from the shadows. Wren. She higher up than us, on the part of the tree still solidly attached to the trunk. Chirp was with her, but that wasn¡¯t a surprise. Her practice had been focused on the ability to bring the bird with her.

    He winged his way down past us as Wren asked, ¡°Did you find her?¡±

    I pointed at Juniper and said, ¡°We better hurry.¡±

    Nii nodded and flicked the tiny pebble she had pulled from a pouch at Juniper. She gasped in pain as it struck her solidly on the nose, but Juniper didn¡¯t release her hold on the branch. She did stop her blubbering long enough to stare at Nii.

    I took advantage of that moment. ¡°I thought you were going to prove that you weren¡¯t weak.¡±

    Juniper tore her attention away from Nii. ¡°I-I¡¯m stuck.¡±

    I wanted to cross my arms, but didn¡¯t trust my balance enough to let go of the branch I was holding onto. I settled for rolling my eyes. ¡°No, you¡¯re not. You shadow walked to get yourself there. Now shadow walk back to the clearing.¡±

    Juniper swallowed. ¡°I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t kick in the shadow.¡±

    Oh, for storm¡¯s sake. ¡°You don¡¯t need to do that. You can will yourself into the paths.¡±

    Fern caught Juniper¡¯s indecision and added her authority behind what I was saying. ¡°Gimley¡¯s correct. Touching the shadow is enough.¡±

    Juniper drew in a long, deep breath and closed her eyes. She was quietly focused for about half a minute before she gave up.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t want to let me in!¡±

    I didn¡¯t know what the shadows felt like to Juniper, but I knew how easy the transition had felt when I forced the picture of a pool of water in my mind¡¯s eye and Juniper likely had even more experience with water than I did.

    ¡°Picture the entrance of the shadow paths as a pool of water. Sink into it.¡±

    ¡°The shadow is above me!¡±

    I lost what little patience I had left. ¡°It¡¯s called imagination! Use it!¡± And then, after I took calming breath, ¡°Either you enter the shadow paths or you let go and hope that Fern catches you.¡±

    ¡°You can do it!¡± Wren tried to be encouraging.

    Fern gave Juniper a look that said she better try entering the shadow paths again before she risked both their safety. Nii just watched and kept her hand on her knife.

    Juniper closed her eyes again and lifted her head so that her forehead touched the bark. We watched in tense silence as she focused.

    One heartbeat, two¡­

    Nine heartbeats later Chirp zipped back through the branches, twittering as loud as he could.

    At eleven heartbeats Juniper slipped into shadow.

    ¡°Let¡¯s hope she can make the path back,¡± Fern said. She looked up at Wren. ¡°What¡¯s your bird saying?¡±

    Branches snapped below us before there was the sound of impact and someone grunted. The tree groaned again. I tried to peer through the needles at who it was, but a branch blocked my view.

    ¡°He says¡ª¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s there? Are you alright?¡± Fern cut Wren off.

    ¡°Fine.¡± That was Breck¡¯s voice.

    Fern was about to say something else but Wren broke in this time, voice raised and shaking, ¡°Chirp says that the corpse gorger is already more than halfway up the statue! It must of been drawn by Juniper¡¯s screams.¡±

    Fern cursed and then ordered, ¡°Everyone go back to the clearing. Now.¡±

    I almost did as she said before I remembered a critical detail. Everyone had run for the shadows. But not everyone had made it through yet.

    Ulo wasn¡¯t here. Which meant that either she had failed to make a path and was waiting for everyone to return in the clearing, or she was still in the shadow paths trying to make one. My bet was on the latter, and if that was true, we couldn¡¯t contact her to tell her that Juniper was already safe, that the tree was on its last legs, that the corpse gorger was closing in to eat whoever it could find.

    Someone needed to stay to warn her in case she came through.

    My mouth tasted sour as I spoke, ¡°I¡¯m the best choice.¡±

    Nii, Wren, and Chirp were already gone. It sounded like Breck was climbing up rather than leaving.

    Fern let out a long suffering sigh. ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re planning on staying to warn Ulo, right? I¡¯m the better choice.¡± She looked ready to cut me off, so I started listing reasons. ¡°I can¡¯t die. I¡¯m lighter¡ªthis tree is about ready to pull itself into free fall. I¡­¡±

    I trailed off as someone stumbled out of the trunk of the tree and into me. For one blind second I hoped it was Ulo, just so that we could all get out of this death trap, but then I recognized Juniper¡¯s high bun and rolled up pant leg. She started to slip off the branch, so I hooked an arm around the younger girl even as I tensed at the contact. My hip was grateful that she hadn¡¯t shoved me into another branch.

    Then I stared at her, completely lost for words, before another thought had me looking back up at Fern. ¡°You can take another person through the shadows. I can¡¯t.¡±

    Juniper dropped her head onto my shoulder. ¡°I¡­couldn¡¯t find the other trees.¡±

    Fern cursed under her breath again before lowering herself down to the branch I was on. She pulled Juniper from me.

    ¡°You¡¯ll actually warn her?¡±

    My jaw set. ¡°I don¡¯t leave people to die.¡±

    ¡°And what happens when she doesn¡¯t listen to you?¡±

    We could hear a sucking sound now that had to be the corpse gorger. I pointed straight down. ¡°She better listen to that.¡±

    Breck reached us, scratched on one cheek but otherwise seemingly uninjured. ¡°And if not, she¡¯ll listen to me.¡±

    Fern and I spoke over one another.

    ¡°I can¡¯t risk two people to warn one.¡±

    ¡°You weigh too much. I can handle this myself.¡±

    Breck didn¡¯t look offended at my comment, but she did address it. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what I weigh. As soon as that monster reaches the tree the whole thing is going to pull loose.¡±

    ¡°You just want to fight it,¡± I accused.

    Breck nodded. ¡°Some day, but I know my limits. I¡¯m not skilled enough yet to take it down.¡±

    ¡°Then why?¡± Fern asked.

    Breck tilted her head to the crumbling wall of stone behind us. ¡°This isn¡¯t a difficult climb for me. If we don¡¯t make it into the shadows or onto the top of the statue before the tree falls, then someone has to get us there. Better than falling to our deaths.¡±

    Sure, as long as the corpse gorger didn¡¯t get us.

    Its wet, gnashing, sucking sounds kept getting closer.

    ¡°Fine.¡± Fern pulled Juniper a little closer to her. ¡°Fine! If Ulo¡¯s in the clearing we¡¯ll send up a flare. If you get trapped on the statue¡­we¡¯ll figure something out.¡±

    With that she disappeared into the shadows surrounding us with Juniper.

    Breck and I looked at each other, and I wasn¡¯t comforted at all to see excitement shining in the normally aloof girl¡¯s eyes.

    She smiled. ¡°Maybe this will be another story to tell around the fire.¡±

 Book 3 - Ch. 24: Splinters

    Breck and I settled three-fourths of the way up the unstable tree. Just below the statue¡¯s crown braid. The tips of the tree cleared the top of it and we hoped that we¡¯d be able to scramble up the last handful of feet before the corpse gorger peeled the tree off the wall. But we also didn¡¯t want to start at the very top in case Ulo appeared below us and we had to help her. If that happened and if we couldn¡¯t reach the top before the tree fell, the plan was to cling to the wall and hope we could figure a way up over the lip of the smooth glass braid.

    Or climb down.

    I didn¡¯t want it to come that. This statue was at least two or three times as tall as the bluffs Rawley had me practice on.

    A bubble of tense silence surrounded us. Anticipation and dread and annoyance. We were both crouched, ready to spring down or launch upwards at a moment¡¯s notice, eyes sweeping the branches around us, ears straining for every little sound.

    My gaze kept getting drawn back to what I could make out of the tree¡¯s base. The wet smacking sounds were steadily getting louder. Missing the corpse gorger¡¯s arrival felt like a death sentence.

    Despite that pressing need, every needle rustling and the distinct lack of branches cluttering the other side of the trunk pressed my nerves a little higher in my throat. Was that noise Ulo stepping from the shadows? Why did the trunk have to break and limit escape routes? What if Ulo got caught in Juniper¡¯s situation and the pine¡¯s trunk finished splitting and fell down into the dark before we could help her?

    Ulo might be a pain in the neck and an obstinate fool, but she didn¡¯t deserve that.

    The tree swayed and my focus jerked back down to the base of the tree.

    Something viscous and thick and dark covered the tree¡¯s trunk.

    The corpse gorger had arrived¡­and Ulo was still nowhere to be found. No rock covered in flaming cord and flung up in the air in the clearing. No telltale sounds or movement around the tree.

    Just an abomination and Breck and me hundreds of feet in the air.

    A creaking, cracking groan splintered the air as the branch under me dropped two inches with the rest of the tree. I yelped. Breck grunted.

    ¡°Shadow or top?¡± I hissed.

    Breck pointed up.

    I scrambled upwards and away from the wide mouth full of teeth as long as my fingers that tasted the air for prey. Breck passed by me in an instant. The pine shuddered and jerked again as the corpse gorger pulled even more of its bulk onto the tree¡¯s trunk.

    And that, of course, was when Ulo, with her impeccably terrible timing, stepped from the shadows. Two branches above the monster. Her head shifted back and forth in confusion.

    So I yelled, ¡°Shadow walk or die!¡±

    She snapped her head up to glare at me before she seemed to register the corpse gorger doing its best to climb and devour her. But instead of stomping her heel into the shadow she started to climb up after me.

    Breck had already cleared the braid and braced herself against glass wheat so she didn¡¯t slip. ¡°The tree¡¯s about to fall!¡±

    I pushed myself harder. Higher. Perhaps I could have shadow walked back, but it was difficult to concentrate on the shadows and I didn¡¯t want to know what would happen if the tree I was using to shadow walk shattered into pieces while I was still in paths. Would I still be able to exit out of the same shadow if I couldn¡¯t find any others? The risk wasn¡¯t worth it, not when I was nearly to Breck.

    But Ulo wasn¡¯t even halfway up the tree and it was about to fall. Shadow walking was her only choice if she didn¡¯t want to plummet.

    The tree pulled further out of the stonework and dropped another heartstopping inch. The space between the uppermost branches and the crown had widened again. If not for Breck¡¯s hand I doubted that I could cross the gap. I reached out, straining, while I balanced precariously on the thin ends of a couple branches. Breck clasped my wrist and pulled me across the gap, effort clear on her face, but she was more than strong enough get me all the way there.

    As soon I had glass underfoot I twisted in Breck¡¯s hold to yell at Ulo. ¡°You won¡¯t make it!¡±

    ¡°Jump!¡± Breck¡¯s shout was more constructive.

    Ulo didn¡¯t waste time responding to us. Instead, she kept swiftly climbing the tree until a handful of seconds later when another cracking sound split the air and the pine started slipping away from the wall. No shuddering jerk stopped its momentum this time.

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    She wasn¡¯t close enough to leap for our hands.

    Ulo stopped climbing and took the briefest of moments to glare up at me before she hit her fist against the side of the trunk and disappeared into the shadow paths.

    A wet sliding pop came from the base of the tree as the corpse gorger was pulled from the broken side of the statue. Freefall. Breck and I leaned over the edge of the braid to watch the pine and abomination tumble through the air.

    It didn¡¯t scream or whine as it fell, but its mouths kept moving all over the thing¡¯s blubbery body. Sucking, biting, tasting. An explosion of splinters burst through the air as soon as the tree crashed into the ground below. I hoped the corpse gorger had been pierced by a branch or two. Perhaps it had burst on impact too, if we were lucky.

    I fervently hoped that the goddess didn¡¯t blame us for the loss of the tree, that it could be counted as a natural loss due to time and weather. Or, if not, that the corpse gorger¡¯s possible death might even the scales.

    I strained my eyes to see if there was any movement below, but no matter how I looked I couldn¡¯t make out the corpse gorger from shadow. When that failed, I looked out towards the clearing, but no flash of light signaled Ulo¡¯s safe return.

    I swallowed. ¡°Do you think she¡¯ll make it?¡±

    Breck was already focused on finding the easiest route to climb the braid. ¡°If she¡¯s good enough.¡±

    She let go of me as I clung to a piece of wheat twice my height. Part of me relaxed at the lack of contact while another part was surprised at her callousness. I was used to her being aloof but it struck harder after how focused she had been on helping moments before.

    ¡°You don¡¯t care?¡±

    Breck shrugged. ¡°We can¡¯t do anything for her now. Better to focus on what we can do.¡±

    She started to climb higher used the crevices carved into the braid and the bits of wheat that stuck out and made easy handholds. I followed her lead carefully. There wouldn¡¯t be much point in what we had just struggled through if I slipped and slid off the statue.

    Another thought occurred me now that I time to do more than react. ¡°Why did you make the call to go up? We could have been back in the clearing now.¡±

    Breck looked over her shoulder at me. ¡°If the tree breaking didn¡¯t mess up the shadows somehow. Besides, Ulo hadn¡¯t appeared yet and we were waiting on her.¡± And then, a few moments later, like she was compelled to say it, ¡°Storied huntresses don¡¯t give up midhunt.¡±

    I gritted my teeth but kept quiet. I couldn¡¯t deny that I wanted to take a chip of glass too. To stop Fern¡¯s condescending looks for a moment if nothing else.

    There would be a way off the statue. Climbing down would be easier in the daylight. Ulo would have to take care of herself. After all the trouble she caused she better be able to do that much.

    We got to the top of the statue easily enough. It felt odd to be climbing all over a replica of the goddess¡¯s sister, but I didn¡¯t fear for my life in the same way I would have if the statue had been of Her. Cracks webbed out across the glass, but it was surprisingly robust. The majority of the hair was still intact despite half of the stone part of the statue crumbling.

    Breck and I both took time to find a good crack that wasn¡¯t near the edge and broke off small slivers of glass. The worry that Juniper or Fern would keep us in the clearing if there weren''t enough pieces for everyone spurred me to chip off more than one. Even one for Ulo.

    A tiny flare of light shot up into the air and back down from the clearing when I was still working on gathering glass. It made annoyance and irritation and something I refused to call relief flare up in my chest.

    Ulo had gotten back to the clearing.

    Which meant Breck and I were stuck up where we were, for now, because we tried to help two people who had saved themselves. Next time I¡¯d remember that it was better and easier not to care.

    That night I learned that Breck could fall asleep anywhere if she wanted. Cold, hard glass with nothing to stop her from slipping over an edge to lay on and she still was out between one heartbeat and the next. I didn¡¯t even try to sleep. Instead, I kept an ear out in case the corpse gorger had decided that its hunt wasn¡¯t done and stared up at the stars.

    I didn¡¯t know a lot of the constellations, but they did bring Fellen to mind. I knew the ones she had mentioned when we navigated Flickermark together and there were handfuls of others that had myths that I told her to help pass the time. I hoped she wasn¡¯t stuck in some stupid situation like I was because of her recklessness. The tribe should be arriving at Grislander¡¯s Maw soon and she should be Nole¡¯s apprentice still. Between that combination I told myself that she was fine.

    Just like Rawley and Prevna should be fine.

    They didn¡¯t need me to be there to protect them. I had my hands full protecting myself¡ªand I was doing an terrible job of it so far between the amount of people I kept trying and failing to protect.

    Everything was easier when I kept myself apart.

    I knew that. I really did, but somehow I kept finding myself putting others¡¯ safety before my own. There were reasons of course. The commander outranked me, no one else had been available to finish off the water snake, I had the skill with traps to bait the festerlings.

    And I couldn¡¯t die.

    That bit of certainty made it so easy to throw myself into danger as long as I didn¡¯t let myself think of any other consequences. And that was relatively easy too. After all, results were what mattered.

    Healed patients equaled reputation for her. Proving my memory with myths had equaled a new healer¡¯s recipe or trick. Taking the disappointment and the bitterness had equaled another day of easy sweetness for the twins.

    I might have hated and envied them for it, but that didn¡¯t mean I didn¡¯t know the unspoken arrangement. She had spoiled them because there had always been someone else to take the blame. To punish.

    I doubted the twins were as spoiled now. Not when the healing craft had been forced between them.

    The night passed slowly as I thought and reflected and waited for Breck to wake up. There weren¡¯t any other signals from the clearing, not that I would have known what they meant if there were. I did wonder if Fern had called for another hunter squad again, though it would be better if she didn¡¯t. The same group needing rescued within two weeks? There was no way we wouldn¡¯t fail this trial if it came to that.

    The others had rescued themselves. Breck and I could do the same.

 Book 3 - Ch. 25: Dare Devils

    Dawn broke over the woodland. Rosy gold swept over deep green pine needles and hints of red and purple peeked through the branches from the undergrowth. The air tasted clean and fresh and, even though I hadn¡¯t slept, it gave me a bit of energy back.

    I took a couple of minutes to just take in the vastness of it from our vantage point. Nothing blocking the edges of my vision, just trees as far as the eyes could see. A few landmarks helped to break up the sea of green: a handful of boulders scattered towards where the First Shore Lake would be and some structure off in the distance, further into the Big Wings¡¯ territory, that had been only a smudge of darkness the night before. It wasn¡¯t as tall as the statue, but it did stand out over the trees.

    It had to be the Rookery.

    Nothing else stood out from the woodland and I doubted that giant birds would take to roosting in something small enough to hide within the trees. They might settle in the trees themselves, but if there was nothing separating the Rookery from the rest of the woodland then we didn¡¯t have much hope of finding it before the seasons changed.

    Breck noticed the curving structure too. ¡°We could make it there in two days if we pushed like we have been.¡±

    I nodded. ¡°But first we need to get down.¡±

    Breck made a short circuit around the top of the statue. She paused on the side where the tree had been. ¡°Looks like the goddess might have made short work of the corpse gorger.¡±

    I raised my eyebrows at her and joined her in peering over the edge.

    The dual colored pine tree had shattered on the ground below. A handful of large branches had been flung across the large clearing the statue sat in while it looked like others had pierced the ground and held their section of branches in place. I couldn¡¯t tell which was the part that had already been breaking away from the tree. The pine¡¯s trunk was split open and splintered into two halves. One lay on its side trailing roots and a few rocks.

    The other had impaled the corpse gorger.

    From this distance it was difficult to tell if the thing was still alive, but I didn¡¯t see the absurd amount of mouths moving nor did it look like the sludge-like body was trying to pull away from the trunk. Part of me didn¡¯t want to believe the corpse gorger was dead, not if two squads of whisper women really had been lost and all it had taken was a falling tree to kill the abomination.

    But then again, Her will couldn¡¯t be denied. And if She blamed the monster for Her tree¡¯s destruction, I could only be thankful that She hadn¡¯t deigned to notice us.

    The goddess had condemned a whole region for one tree before, but that had been the result of intentional burning. Perhaps this was seen as accidental, so She took her revenge solely out on the creature She held responsible¡ªeven if that did make the fact that She could have killed the corpse gorger before Her whisper women died fighting it even more apparent.

    Not that anyone could dictate the goddess¡¯s actions other than Herself. Not even the Beloved.

    I muttered, ¡°It could have been luck.¡±

    I don¡¯t think either of us believed me.

    We turned our attention back to getting down. We could go with our original plan of climbing down the crumbled side of the statue, but, in order to do that, we needed to be able to reach it and right now we had the crown braid and a wide gap from the edge of the statue¡¯s hair to where the stone wall started to contend with. We could also try to get to the statue¡¯s back and climb or slide down the back of her dress. That would probably be more stable. The trouble again was with getting there.

    Breck moved next to me and I turned to find her holding her lasso in hand.

    I blinked. ¡°You brought that?¡±

    I was used to seeing it hang off her belt, but I hadn¡¯t seen her use it except in practice, so I didn¡¯t expect to her grab it when we were woken up in the middle of the night.

    She shrugged. ¡°Up high, you always bring rope.¡±

    I made a mental note to get a hold of rope and bring it with me next time. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you mention it before?¡±

    Breck tilted her head toward the rising sun and I took her meaning. It was safer to climb in the sunlight and I could have paid more attention to what was on her belt if I really wanted to.

    We decided that going down over the statue¡¯s face and onto her outstretched arm was our best bet for finding a spot where we could start climbing down. Breck¡¯s lasso only reached down to her mouth, but it would have to be enough.

    Breck hooked the lasso around one of the glass wheat pieces. ¡°Try to stay on the mouth if you can. I¡¯ll come down after you and help you the rest of the way, so you don¡¯t have to jump.¡±

    Her gaze strayed to my bruised hip. My lips pressed tight together, but I didn¡¯t deny the need for help. I started climbing down.

    Between the rope and the upward tilt of the statue¡¯s face it wasn¡¯t a terrible descent. My hip ached from the pressure I had to put on it to brace myself against the stone, but it wasn¡¯t enough for it to give out yet. I couldn¡¯t help but shudder a bit as I climbed over the large carved eyeball. It was pretty lifelike for being made of stone. I also made sure to stay well away from where the middle of the face crumbled into nothing.

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    As I climbed down I noticed that the stone I was climbing over was oddly pristine. It didn¡¯t seem worn from the weather or discolored. There were cracks, but they mainly stemmed from the half of the statue that had been destroyed. Lichen didn¡¯t cling to the cracks or ledges. I didn¡¯t even even see any bird droppings.

    Did the goddess give this statue of Her sister¡ªthe betrayer¡ªsome protection? Did the other goddess somehow protect her image within her sister¡¯s territory?

    It was an odd, disturbing thought, and I put the questions out of my mind as I reached the statue¡¯s mouth. After wedging my feet into the crevice between the lips and hooking one arm tightly over the edge of the upper lip, I kept ahold of the rope with my remaining hand and called up to Breck to let her know I was in place.

    She surveyed the face again along with where I was before, to my surprise and growing horror, she unhooked the rope from the wheat.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    Breck ignored me in favor of widening the loop on her lasso and slipping it over her shoulder so that it hung across her chest. Then, before I could get another word of reason in, she started her descent.

    Three large steps over the forehead, drop over the eyelid, press off toward the nose and open air. Push off the nose into a controlled slide and catch herself using the small ledge created by the upper lip and drain any remaining momentum by swinging herself down next to me to stand on the bottom lip.

    I glared at her and put every curse and praise I wanted to say into it. She didn¡¯t need to know I was impressed. Not when I also wanted to throttle her for doing something immensely stupid.

    She caught my look and had the gall to look smug. ¡°I¡¯ve dealt with worse in the Cliffs.¡±

    That was when I remembered that Breck had run across the thin paths in the Seedling Palace that I had to inch my way across. Heights and edges and dangerous falls didn¡¯t have the effect they should have on her, not when she had probably been contending with them since she was a child.

    I wanted to rub my forehead, but I didn¡¯t dare to release my hold. ¡°Just¡­why?¡±

    She glanced back up at where we had come from. ¡°No point in leaving behind good rope when we don¡¯t have to.¡± Then she gestured with her free hand to below us. ¡°Now you can get down without jumping.¡±

    It was true that the rope should reach the statue¡¯s chest from here, but that didn¡¯t explain how Breck was going to get down. The rock was too smooth as far as I could tell for her to climb across it to the statue¡¯s neck and down. Dropping from where we were down to the statue¡¯s body without the rope seemed like a good way to break a leg, gain too much momentum, and roll off her chest only to take the much longer fall to the her lap or the ground.

    Breck pointed to statue¡¯s armpit. ¡°When you get down tie a loop in the rope and wedge yourself as best you can there. When there¡¯s enough slack on the rope slip it on like I have it and don¡¯t let yourself slip. Got it?¡±

    I got it.

    But I didn¡¯t like it. At all.

    I still climbed down the rope as quickly as I could while she held it in place from above. The rope ended a foot or two shy of the bumpy texture of the statue¡¯s vine clothing, but I was still able to reach up and tie a wide enough hole after I got my footing. Unfortunately, the lasso wasn¡¯t long enough to reach from where Breck was perched to the spot I needed to wedge myself in.

    I really didn¡¯t like the somewhat feral grin creeping onto Breck¡¯s face when I looked up at her.

    She called down to me. ¡°Just run for it!¡±

    Of course, because I had such even footing and flat ground in all directions to run on with a hip in perfect condition that would let me go at my top speed.

    Breck gathered herself and shoved off of the statue¡¯s mouth with as much force as she could muster. I started to run in as straight of line as I could towards the statue¡¯s storming armpit. As soon as I felt the rope go somewhat slack I tried to slip it over my head, tripped, and nearly fell flat on my face before I gave up that and scrambled to keep running with the rope in my hand.

    Breck soared through the sky towards the statue¡¯s remaining arm. Over the arm. Past the arm.

    I slammed into the arm, vision fuzzing as my hip screamed in pain. I might have screamed too but I was too busy making sure the rope loop got over my head and shoulder to note if it was me or Breck. Maybe both.

    The rope pulled tight. I ground my knee into the crack between stone arm and stone body, dug my fingers around the nearest carved vine, to keep from being pulled after Breck. I could barely breathe. The rope cut into my chest and stomach even as it pulled me tight against the stone arm. It shifted from side to side before finally, blessedly, going slack.

    It took me several long moments to collect myself enough to lift my head and glower at where Breck knelt on the statue¡¯s arm. Curses pressed up against my lips and I couldn¡¯t help but spit the worst one I knew.

    ¡°I hope you get touched by a shamble man.¡±

    Breck grinned weakly at first before it got stronger and stronger, and a laugh burst out of her.

    ¡°You¡¯re a good anchor.¡±

    ¡°So much for not making my hip worse.¡±

    ¡°Can you walk?¡±

    I pulled myself up onto the arm before trying to put weight on it. The pain made me hiss out a breath. ¡°Barely.¡±

    She sat upright. ¡°Climb?¡±

    My lips pressed together again, but I told her the truth. ¡°It¡¯ll be easier if I rest it first.¡±

    She nodded and ducked out of her end of the lasso. ¡°Great. I¡¯ll go check that then.¡± She pointed towards the harp.

    ¡°Breck¡ª¡±

    She didn¡¯t stop to listen.

    Gone was the bored girl who barely cared about anything around her. Breck had found her excitement and she wasn¡¯t going to let go her chance for adventure easily. I debated whether I should limp after her or stay where I was. In the end, pain and practicality kept me in place. If she fell or did something else stupid while she out there on her own then that was on her.

    I did keep my eyes on her though as she poked around the giant harp. It still played whenever a gust of wind blew across it. At first, she just looked around it and its frame, but when nothing interesting held her attention there Breck turned her attention to the strings.

    One weak, but high, note chimed through the air.

    I waited for the goddess¡¯s wrath to strike her down for playing music outside of the Heartsong Festival, but one moment stretched into two and then ten and nothing happened. Breck waited a couple more heartbeats before she tried two more notes.

    Two low thrumming notes rang out.

    We waited for judgment to descend again but the sky remained calm and clear, and the statue¡¯s hand didn¡¯t crumble out from under Breck¡¯s feet. Breck¡¯s attention caught on something else.

    A couple minutes later she called over to me, ¡°Can you read this?¡±

    I rolled my eyes, but I got to my feet and brought her lasso with me as I limped my way over to the statue¡¯s hand. Breck was pointing to an archaic word carved into the base of the harp. I handed her the lasso and she set about untying my loop while I puzzled over the word.

    I hadn¡¯t revealed to the cohort yet that I could read and write all the basic characters, but if I managed to figure out this archaic word then that might be a logical conclusion. However, it wasn¡¯t one I could easily connect with one of the basic characters I knew. It¡¯d make sense if it was connected to music or sound or something along those lines, but those weren¡¯t words that often came up with healing.

    I shrugged. ¡°No.¡±

    Breck seemed like she held in a sigh before she hooked her lasso back on her belt and poked around the rest of the hand. Nothing of interest caught her eye. I rested for another ten to fifteen minutes while we debated which way we should get down.

    In the end, we decided that going down the statue¡¯s back would be easiest and best. Less of a chance for the stone to crumble out beneath us that way.

 Book 3 - Ch. 26: Descent

    My hip still ached when we walked back to the statue¡¯s upper arm, but now it was more of an annoyance than a true hindrance. We stopped where the tulip shaped sleeve split and started to fall towards the ground. Since there wasn¡¯t anything in reach on the statue¡¯s shoulder to hook Breck¡¯s lasso in place we had to go the next best way down. Which meant climbing sideways along the dress¡¯s off-the-shoulder sleeve until we reached the back of the dress.

    We didn¡¯t loop the lasso back around us. I knew I didn¡¯t have a chance of staying in place if Breck slipped and fell while I didn¡¯t want to risk throwing her off balance if my foot slipped. Still, we didn¡¯t throw all precaution to the wind. Breck would go first since she was the better climber and I would stick close to her in case something unexpected happened.

    Breck glanced back at me before she began to climb, lasso secure on her hip, eyes gleaming.

    ¡°Ready?¡±

    I gestured to the sleeve. ¡°Just go.¡±

    Her mouth twitched up into a smile before she turned back to consider her climbing path one last time. It was interesting watching her new mood. Her excitement didn¡¯t fade, but it did sharpen into an intense focus as Breck took in what she had to work with.

    There were plenty of ledges to place hands and feet because of the large carved vines that made up the dress, but those ledges were also round and smooth and didn¡¯t have good spots to grip them because of that.

    Breck sat down and pulled off her shoes. ¡°Take yours off too. You get a better grip with your toes than the smooth leather. Try to keep your hips close to the statue.¡±

    I did as she said while she stuffed her shoes in her belt. Once my shoes were stuffed out of the way too Breck began the climb. She checked every foot and handhold before she placed her weight fully on it. Once the spot was secure she¡¯d move smoothly, confidently to the next. Like she advised me, she kept her hips close to the statue so that she had to keep her head turned to keep from grazing her nose on the stone. It seemed like her hands helped keep her balance while her footholds were mainly what were keeping her on the statue.

    When it was my turn to follow her I did my best to focus on the statue and not the enormous drop below us. The stone was cool under my feet and I immediately hated the bumps the vines created despite the fact that they were what was allowing us to climb down. The vines pressed into my stomach and hips¡ªmaking it feel like I needed to lean away from them while also disrupting my sense of balance.

    I followed Breck¡¯s advice and kept my hips as close to the stone as I could. Even if it was uncomfortable, I wasn¡¯t dumb enough to shift my whole weight away from the statue so that it could peel me from my perch.

    I quickly learned that my original plan wouldn¡¯t work as well. Breck had longer arms and legs than I did and no matter how much I might want to, I couldn¡¯t reach all the spots she went for. Luckily, the vines weren¡¯t a random mess, so finding a different spot to grip wasn¡¯t typically that difficult. My heart still rose a bit in my chest each time I had to test one, however.

    I fell into a routine as we climbed sideways and slightly down. I hated every time I had to fish for a step downward. I couldn¡¯t see past the vine I was standing on and my hands couldn¡¯t balance me as well because I had to rest them on the same vine as my other foot or press them into the outward bump of the vine above. Often Breck would lead us along a vine that curved gently down on its own so that we didn¡¯t have too take too many of those unknown steps.

    Once we reached the statue¡¯s back, Breck led me over to one of the carved suncrest flowers. We sat and rested on it for a good half hour before she thought it would be a good idea to start downward. I ignored her glance to my hip when she had insisted on the long rest, especially because my entire body felt tired and strained from the climb. Enough that the throb from my hip was nearly lost among the rest. By the time the break ended, the strain had faded and I was ready to go again.

    Rather than take the direct path down the back of the dress Breck continued to lead me along the vine we were on to where the vines wove together in the middle of the dress like a fishtail braid. The shattered edge of the statue stopped three or four feet away from where the vines wove together. I did my best to ignore the open air, but I was extra careful every time I stepped down on a vine on that side of the statue.

    From there we were able to carefully step from side to side and see where we were going instead of blindly feeling for each new step. Our pace increased and I resorted to scooting from one vine to another. Breck could stretch and easily reach each descending vine, but my legs left a gap. A small one, but enough that it felt smarter to give up some dignity in exchange for extra length. I still had to be careful not to overbalance on the vines, but overall my new sitting technique felt safer than standing.

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    We took another break halfway down the statue¡¯s back. Breck copied me and sat on a vine, propping herself with a foot braced against the other side.

    ¡°Not too bad right?¡±

    I frowned at her. ¡°You¡¯re going to jinx us.¡±

    Breck shrugged. ¡°Might be interesting.¡±

    I rolled my eyes.

    A short while later we started down again. I kept waiting for one of us to slip or something else to go wrong, but nothing did. All the vines held, even those mostly turned to rubble. There were a handful of times when we did have to step blindly down to the next row of vines because the other side had completely shattered, but we were careful to make sure we had our footing before we pressed on.

    The rest of the statue was as pristine and sturdy as its face, if you ignored the shattered half. Which, really, just made that shattered half even odder and more ominous. What kind of force would it have taken to shatter such a sturdy stone? What kind of statue was this that its pristine integrity lasted despite massive damage for untold years?

    I put the questions into the back of my mind for a time later when I might have the resources to answer them. For now my focus had to be on narrow ledges, balance, foot and handholds. Everything else could come later.

    As soon as we reached the flat part of the statue¡¯s dress I took a moment to stare back up to the golden crown of hair. Part of me was surprised that we had managed to make our way down the huge statue, another part acknowledged that it probably wouldn¡¯t have happened without Breck¡ªnot that I would ever tell her that¡ªand the last part was more than ready to return to the clearing and sleep. My head was starting to feel heavy and pound from the lack of sleep.

    Breck wasn¡¯t quite ready for the adventure to be over. She nodded at me before slipping quietly over to the ruined side of the statue. I followed more slowly behind her as she eyed the fallen tree and the impaled blob-like body. After a minute of observation, Breck dropped over the edge of the statue and onto the grass. When I saw where she was headed my eyes flew wide but I stopped myself from calling out to her. On the off chance the corpse gorger was still alive I didn¡¯t want to give away my position.

    With a silent curse, I tried to carefully climb down after her, but that was when my foot slipped and I fell. Jarring my hip. I gasped out in pain before glancing over at the tree. It didn¡¯t look like the corpse gorger had reacted.

    Reduced to limping after Breck, I found her hovering just a foot away from the tips the tree, hand on her knife. I didn¡¯t want a closer look at the abomination, but not confirming if it was dead alive myself didn¡¯t sit right.

    Brown-gray flesh slumped in a vague circle. Mouths, circular and full of jagged teeth, split the flesh like unnatural lesions. There was nothing else to identify whatever creature might have been stupid enough to try to eat a shamble man, no other features despite its seeming reaction to sound.

    An abomination through and through.

    Breck darted forward and poked it before darting back again. I whipped my head around to glare at her, holding my hands wide in question. Was she trying to get herself killed?

    Breck grinned back at me before pointing at me and gesturing towards the creature. I shook my head. She frowned slightly and gestured more insistently. I considered the creature. It still hadn¡¯t reacted to Breck¡¯s poke and surely it would have noticed us by now if it was alive.

    Breck started walking towards me like she was going to drag me to the abomination if I didn¡¯t poke it myself. So I rolled my eyes again and got it over with.

    It felt as wet and slimy as it sounded.

    I jumped back away from the corpse gorger, but it didn¡¯t so much as flinch from my poke. I was doubly grateful for the large section of tree trunk sticking out of one of its open mouths. Just by looking at the thing I knew it wasn¡¯t something we would have been able to fight.

    Breck and I pulled out our prayer needles and pricked our marks. Breck pricked the back of her neck, but I had noticed that her swirling, looping mark continued down her spine and disappeared under her tunic.

    We each let three drops of blood fall on the ground before murmuring, ¡°Please accept my small offering.¡±

    One heartbeat, two, and then the blood flaked away. We both relaxed a fraction. I silently vowed to be extra careful around the goddess¡¯s trees from now on. Her justice might be biased, but it was swift when She felt slighted and I had no desire to be on the wrong side of it. She could have just as easily blamed me and the rest of the group for the tree¡¯s demise.

    With our fledging skills at traveling through the shadow paths, Breck and I opted not to use the broken tree¡¯s shadow. Its connection to the other two might have remained, but I didn¡¯t want to risk the fact that traveling through a broken tree would likely be more difficult than a whole one, so we sank into the shadow of a tree on the edge of clearing instead.

    I relaxed more as soon as I was away from the clearing with the unnatural statue and the abomination. The goddess¡¯s attention felt entirely too close there.

    Making the path to one of the remaining bicolored trees took longer from a normal pine tree, but I leaned on my experience from the first time I shadow walked. I hadn¡¯t missed the fact that I had essentially bypassed using the trees¡¯ connection the first time I made a path between them. So I added detail after detail of the yellow and green tree I had mainly practiced with in the clearing until I felt the path form. Then it was a simple matter to limp my way on top of the second shadow and step out of it.

    I ended up near the tip of the tree¡¯s shadow, closer to the camp. Wren blinked at me from where she had been talking to Chirp by the tents.

    Then she ruined the silence. ¡°Gimley¡¯s back!¡±

 Book 3 - Ch. 27: Spite

    Somehow, despite the fact that Breck showed up in the clearing not long after me, I got the dubious honor of explaining how we got down off the statue. Not everyone crowded around either. I got the stink eye from where Ulo was under the other bicolored tree, Nii wasn¡¯t anywhere to be seen, and Breck and I both waved off the healer, so he scurried back into his tent.

    Wren pulled me over to the cooking area to sit while Chirp twittered around us. Fern met us there with a slightly pained expression and I couldn¡¯t help but think that she wanted to blame me for making her life difficult again. Juniper was already sitting in the cooking area, staring listlessly at a full bowl in her hands, while Colm prepared food nearby. Breck settled down a little ways away, up against a tent, but no one made her fully join the group.

    I held in a sigh of relief as I sank onto the grassy ground. My body ached from the strain of climbing down the statue and my hip was still protesting the two times it had been slammed into something hard. Wren settled a pace or two away. Fern sat across from us, though I think she was still able to see Breck out of the corner of her eye.

    ¡°Well?¡± Fern asked.

    I purposefully took a few long moments to slip my shoes back on, just to be difficult. ¡°We got down.¡±

    Wren leaned forward, eyes bright with interest. ¡°How?¡±

    My gaze flicked over to Breck, but she ignored my look in favor of inspecting her lasso. I sighed and recounted the small adventure before ending with, ¡°It looked like the goddess got revenge on the corpse gorger for Her tree. It didn¡¯t even twitch when Breck poked it.¡±

    Fern¡¯s frown deepened. ¡°She normally ignores the creatures.¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°It could have been a lucky hit, but from what I know She never ignores a tree¡¯s destruction.¡±

    Fern slowly nodded in acknowledgment. ¡°I¡¯ll report it. They¡¯ll probably send a team out to confirm it.¡±

    I nodded back. It made sense that time and effort would need to be wasted to confirm a lowly seedling¡¯s word, especially when it came to a corpse gorger that had already claimed two teams. It wasn¡¯t like people had been quick to take me at my word even before I came to the Seedling Palace.

    Then I pulled the chips of yellow, golden, copper glass from a pouch on my belt. ¡°We also got these. Might be the last time anyone gets any for awhile.¡±

    I handed one to Wren as Fern¡¯s eyes widened. Chirp swooped in and plucked the bit of glass from Wren as she focused on me, head tilted slightly to the side. ¡°Enough for everyone?¡±

    I dumped the rest of the chips in her lap. ¡°You can hand them out. Breck already got her own.¡± I turned back to Fern. ¡°Mission accomplished. We can go now, right?¡±

    Fern¡¯s features closed off again as she wiped the mild surprise away. ¡°I¡¯m glad you took the time to collect the glass, but, like I stated before, we leave when your team leader says so.¡±

    I glared at her. ¡°We saw the Rookery; we know where to go. We got the glass, and the First Flurry could be coming any day now. Why would we stay here?¡±

    Fern gestured to Juniper¡¯s defeated form. ¡°That¡¯s something to ask her.¡±

    I had to draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly to keep from cursing at her. It was obvious to anyone that bothered to pay attention that Fern had chosen this as her hill to die on. Either we listened to her arbitrary rules and got Juniper to say that we were done with the clearing or we would fail the test, because even if we only left Fern behind I didn¡¯t doubt that would count as splitting the group and dock us whatever points we earned when we arrived at the Rookery.

    I directed my next question at Juniper, ¡°Do you want to stay here?¡±

    She didn¡¯t answer. Didn¡¯t even react other than clutching her bowl just the tiniest bit tighter while her air of melancholy hung thick all around us.

    ¡°She¡¯s been like that ever since Fern brought her back,¡± Wren said.

    I muttered, purposefully loud enough for the younger girl to hear, ¡°Some proof.¡±

    Juniper flinched. Wren glared at me.

    I ignored both their reactions to turn my own judgmental look on Fern. ¡°Looks like she¡¯s doing just as much to make sure we finish this mission as you are.¡± I swept my gaze over the calm camp. A stark contrast to when we had all rushed out to the shadows the night before. ¡°Was your plan to call in another rescue squad? So soon after the other one?¡±

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    Fern¡¯s chin drew up, her back stiffened. Guarded.

    I let my eyebrows rise. ¡°Oh? You expected us to figure it out ourselves? Or were you going to declare us lost and move the party on? Seedlings die out here, after all.¡±

    Fern¡¯s voice was tight, controlled, strained enough that I knew she was one step away from snapping. ¡°We saw the tree fall. There was nothing a bunch of untrained seedlings and I could do against a corpse gorger that had already claimed two trained Beastwatcher teams.¡±

    ¡°So?¡± I leaned forward. ¡°The corpse gorger was dead.¡± Another pause. ¡°Were you even going to check?¡±

    Wren cut into the conversation. ¡°She wouldn¡¯t have abandoned you.¡±

    I doubted that she would have completely abandoned us too¡ªafter all it was known that I couldn¡¯t die, so that could have counted as splitting the party, and Breck was an undeniable asset to the whisper women¡ªbut I wanted to see Fern¡¯s reaction. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if she wanted to leave me to the corpse gorger¡¯s nonexistent mercy; I challenged her authority too much.

    ¡°If the corpse gorger had been still alive I would have been as good as dead.¡±

    I sat back. ¡°You couldn¡¯t enter a shadow quicker than it could bite?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t bet my life on it.¡±

    ¡°So much for figuring something out.¡±

    Fern gestured to me. ¡°You and Breck did.¡±

    I called it like it was. ¡°And if we hadn¡¯t, you would have had to contact the rescuers again and prove that you¡¯re an incompetent minder.¡±

    A clatter came from my far right and I looked over to see Colm had roughly set down what he was working on. ¡°Watch your words, girl.¡±

    I smiled at Fern, but it was the kind of smile that said pity, looks like you can¡¯t even defend yourself. I knew how infuriating that kind of smile could be. I had been on the receiving end of it more than once.

    Rather than rant at me, Fern shot to her feet, set her shoulders, and glared down at me. ¡°We leave when Juniper says we leave.¡±

    Then she stalked away.

    After a long moment Colm¡¯s glare stopped drilling into the side of my face as he went back to his cooking.

    Wren stared at me. ¡°Do you try to make everyone angry?¡±

    I smirked. ¡°That time I did.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± She sounded bewildered.

    ¡°Why should I respect someone who can¡¯t do anything themselves? If she¡¯s going to risk making us fail the mission for some stupid reason then I¡¯m not going to make it easy on her.¡±

    Nevermind the fact that I was also sore and tired and not in the best of moods even before Fern started shoving her pointless rule in my face. Juniper didn¡¯t want to lead, was nowhere near the right head space for it, and yet Fern was determined to stick to the ruling we made when we first started. Great. Fine. I¡¯m sure there was a time and place for that kind of lesson, but it wasn¡¯t when the only thing I still had going for me could be ruined because of the timing of it.

    Wren looked surprised and impressed and annoyed at my answer before she was distracted by Chirp stealing another glass chip from her lap. I took advantage of the moment to move in front of Juniper.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care if you¡¯re feeling worthless or like a failure or that your whole life has been a lie. I¡¯ve been there, done that, and I promise that if you can¡¯t pull yourself together enough to utter ¡®let¡¯s leave for the Rookery¡¯ I will make it worse.¡±

    A long, long moment passed before Juniper looked up from her cold bowl of broth. ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°By reminding you, daily, that you had an easy success at your fingertips and yet you still managed to turn it into an utter failure for yourself, for everyone in this group.¡±

    Juniper shook her head. ¡°No. How did you keep going? After.¡±

    I snorted. ¡°Spite.¡±

    A tiny laugh huffed its way out of her chest. She looked as shocked as I felt and Wren looked out of the corner of my eye. ¡°I can see that.¡±

    I pressed her. ¡°So do you think you can somehow draw up the strength to say those four words to Fern? Soon?¡±

    Juniper looked past my shoulder. ¡°Will you help me get better at shadow walking?¡±

    That sounded like a horrible way to pass the time and an easy way of falling into the trap of spending too much time with another person. But we needed to get to the Rookery and Fern wouldn¡¯t budge until Juniper gave the word to move on.

    I sighed. ¡°I can try.¡±

    She nodded, demure, before setting aside her untouched bowl. ¡°I¡¯ll go talk to her.¡±

    - -

    We left the next morning.

    Wren had taken the time before to distribute the glass and I had taken some time to catch up on my sleep. After that Nii had cornered me by the tents.

    ¡°I can understand why you might get glass chips for the others, but why would you include Ulo and me?¡± she asked.

    I looked her dead in the eye. ¡°Like I would let you be the excuse I got failed for.¡±

    Nii considered that before she nodded and let me go.

    I got to spend the remainder of the afternoon attempting to build up Juniper¡¯s imagination. You would think that for as sheltered as she seemed to be, she would be better at it, but maybe it hadn¡¯t been a necessary skill when she was being gifted other specialized knowledge.

    When we finally left the clearing, I kept to the back of the group, away from Fern and Ulo, who couldn¡¯t seem to decide just how much she hated me as she kept glancing at her bit of glass. That meant I had to listen to the healer natter on until I made a desperate bid to get away from him and asked Juniper if she wanted to practice picturing things as we walked. Sometime after that Wren ended up on my other side and I was caught between Chirp¡¯s twitters, Wren¡¯s odd looks and friendly conversation¡ªmostly directed at everyone else in the group¡ªand Juniper¡¯s occasional question.

    Eventually, thankfully, everyone ran out of breath to waste much on talking as we pressed ourselves hard to reach the Rookery before the First Flurry. Several times as we hiked large shadows passed overhead. The first time everyone but Fern froze as we all looked up and saw a white bird with a wingspan easily two or three times as big as I was tall. Wren¡¯s birds had not been lying when they spoke of the Big Wings¡¯ territory. I doubted that Chirp would have even counted as a snack to the bigger creature, but Wren made sure to keep him close by after that first sighting.

    The journey went quick and smooth, and, true to Breck¡¯s estimate, it took two days of long travel to reach the structure we had seen from the top of the statue.

    The Rookery looked vastly different than how I had imagined it.

 Book 3 - Ch. 28: The Rookery

    A wide open space spread out before them, broken only by small clumps of pine trees and pointed spires of white stone, splotched with lichen, that arched over a broad lake like the ribs of some colossal ancient animal. They must have been what I had seen from the statue. It wasn¡¯t a perfect set, the spires weren¡¯t exactly lined up on each side of the lake and some were missing, but it still made me wonder if Grislander¡¯s body had for some reason, somehow, been moved here away from his Maw.

    The ribs weren¡¯t the only odd things. The lake flowed over a sheer cliff into secondary lake below which, in turn, looked to flow into a stream that disappeared under the trees. However, instead of the crashing noise of an uncontrolled waterfall, the water running down the cliff was more like a rivulet running down the side of an overfull bowl. It followed a dozen carved channels that switched and curved down the cliffside and delivered the water to the second lake with only the soft gurgling whisper of moving water.

    I had never seen anything like it.

    And then there were the birds. And the people.

    On the ribs, on the water, nestled in the odd grass that came up to my waist, in the air, the birds towered everywhere. All of them were bright white with silvery feathers mixed in on their wings, like sun glare on snow. Some had black spots speckled along their wings and tails as well. Beady black eyes, hooked black beaks, and webbed black talons contrasted sharply with their snowy feathers. All of the chicks that I could see were a downy gray and taller than me. Every single bird had something small at the base of their beak that reflected the sunlight. The sheer size of them made part of me wish we could slip quietly back under the pines and leave.

    But our group had already drawn notice.

    Just as the birds were everywhere, so too were the people. They looked like they were tending to the grass and even some empty nests. Others were collecting lichen from the ribs and spear fishing in the lakes. A herd of reindeer were spread along the edge of the lower lake and whenever a bird swooped too close the herders with them would raise short sticks with what sounded like a clump of bone shards on the end and shake them. The birds left the reindeer alone at the clacking sound and the reindeer barely even spooked.

    Also near the shore of the lower lake was a grouping of¡­huts. Not tents, though there were still fur coverings over the doorways and some awnings, but permanent buildings of clay and some stone, and grass growing over top. Small enough for only one or two families to fit inside. The only other time I had seen buildings like that were the sap domes in the Seedling Palace and these people didn¡¯t have the constant temperature and weather protection of that place. The First Flurry was nearly here and I couldn¡¯t see any evidence that they were preparing to go to one of the convergence sites, like Grislander¡¯s Maw. Did they just¡­stay? In one place? All year round?

    The idea was mind boggling. How did they not run out of resources? How did they, and the beasts, survive the full force of the First Flurry and the warming winds? Did they ever have contact with other tribes?

    I looked closer at the people around us. They wore thick ponchos with bright bird and braid patterns against the growing chill rather than the usual cloak. Black hair, yellow eyes, and olive or darker skin tones were common. And everyone, even the children, wore some type of jewelry. Only the adults had actual feathers in their hair, but bone nose rings and earrings and finger rings carved into feathers or talons or bird silhouettes were everywhere. Leather cords held pendants or wrapped around wrists or accentuated hairstyles. Bone hair beads were also common though I noticed that none were placed where healer¡¯s beads hung.

    Jin¡¯s image rose up in my mind and I no longer had to wonder where she might be from. Between her appearance and jewelry, the connection was blinding obvious, and suddenly I trusted these odd people even less than I had before.

    A man with long beaded hair had stopped bending over a nest to look at us. He spoke to a girl by his side. ¡°Miyan, take them to the Tamer.¡±

    She nodded and began to take a step towards us before asking, ¡°The tree or the Nest?¡±

    He considered while looking off in the distance. ¡°The Nest.¡±

    The girl nodded, enthusiastic, and started off away from the cliff as she gestured for us to follow. We did and I noticed that Fern spoke something into the wind.

    My attention was immediately stolen by what Miyan said next. ¡°Your other group is already here. I¡¯m not sure if they¡¯ll be by the Nest or out practicing, but they got here about¡­three days ago.¡± Her fingers brushed over a bird head bone hair comb holding her hair back over her ear as her voice got soft with admiration. ¡°Dera is amazing. She can turn bone into anything.¡±

    I barely heard what she said after that first sentence.

    Prevna was here.

    And I wasn¡¯t ready. Wasn¡¯t ready for the inevitable teasing when she found out that Wren and I had shared a tent even though nothing had happened. Wasn¡¯t ready for the fact that I¡¯d probably try to keep what had happened from her only for her to find out anyway, from my lips or the others. Wasn¡¯t ready for the way her observing eyes would likely spot all the new cracks and connections in our group.

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    Prevna was here and I hated that part of me was desperate to see her and another part hated the part of me that hated that.

    Miyan led us through the tall grass and around nests without seeming to care if they were occupied or not by the huge white birds. I did my best not to show my nerves around the feathered beasts even though I was sure one could swallow me in a single gulp if it wanted to. The others, other than Fern, also seemed ill at ease, though Wren¡¯s unease was also mixed with wonder and interest. Chirp cowered next to her neck and she kept stroking his tiny head.

    Still, she couldn¡¯t hold back her interest entirely. She asked Miyan, ¡°What kind of birds are they?¡±

    Miyan grinned at her. ¡°We call them storm birds. There¡¯s wild ones on the coast, but they don¡¯t get nearly as big as ours.¡±

    ¡°Do you mind if I talk to one?¡±

    Miyan shrugged and pointed to a bird ahead of us. ¡°They¡¯re not as easy to tame as that little bird you got there, and they don¡¯t listen to people they don¡¯t know, but you can try. Anore is one of the calmer birds.¡±

    We gave Wren a wide berth as she marched up to the bird. Chirp did his best to hide further into her hair after giving her a chiding chirp. She looked up at the fifteen foot tall bird and smiled. ¡°You¡¯re very beautiful.¡±

    Anore cocked her head at Wren to look at her better before making a croaking call. Several other storm birds in the vicinity turned to look.

    Wren¡¯s smile widened. ¡°I can understand all of you. Your nest is very well taken care of too.¡±

    Anore preened and let out a louder whistling call. More storm birds took interest while I swear I heard a pouty little twitter from the direction of Wren¡¯s hair.

    Several birds waddled or soared over as Wren continued to flatter the bird. A few others started to talk at her and she laughed. ¡°I can pass along all your requests as long as¡±¡ªhere she had to struggle to pull out a resisting, terrified Chirp¡ª¡°you all promise not to snack on and keep an eye out for this little guy. Chirp. He¡¯s my best friend and I¡¯d hate to lose him, and you¡¯re all so magnificent that I¡¯m sure that keeping an eye out for him won¡¯t be a problem for you.¡±

    Chirp puffed up a bit as she declared his status.

    Miyan asked, eyes wide, ¡°She can actually talk to them?¡±

    Fern nodded. ¡°All birds. It¡¯s her blessing.¡±

    Miyan looked like she was staring at a mythical creature as she kept her eyes trained on Wren. ¡°This year is the best.¡±

    With a bit more flattery and negotiation Wren managed to get the five birds crowded around her to agree to leave Chirp alone and spread the word to the others in the flock. Chirp wasn¡¯t really safe yet, but at least she had made a start.

    We continued on as other birds kept catching Wren¡¯s attention and speaking to her. Progress was slow since Miyan refused to leave her new idol behind.

    We finally stopped in front of a clay and mud hut that sat squarely in the middle of the nesting grounds. The bottom section of grass growing on it had been woven together so that it looked like a bird¡¯s nest. Prevna was nowhere in sight. Miyan whistled politely outside the door covering and then gestured us inside after an answering whistle.

    The hut¡¯s main room was large enough to comfortably hold all of us and then some. Shelves built into the left wall were filled with pouches and jars and other basic tools, a low table surrounded by cushions pressed up against the opposite wall. A small fire lit up the room from a recess in the wall near the table and a hole cut above the recess kept the smoke from filling up the room. Two covered doorways led further into the hut. I assumed one was for a private sleeping chamber but I wasn¡¯t sure what the other was needed for.

    Movement caught my eye and one of the door coverings was pushed aside. My breath caught. Just a little.

    The woman who stepped into the room looked like she should have been in a palace of ice. Pale blond hair with the slightest wave stopped just short of her shoulders and framed an angular face. A delicate bless mark radiated out from her hairline like a crown painted onto her forehead, pointing towards her eyes and made of interlocking triangles. The faintest pale blue irises peered out through thick lashes and her entire poncho was white instead of just the patterns. But more than that, more than her beauty and clothes, it was the sheer amount of glass dripping off her that created the impression. Chips of glass were woven into her hair, and delicate leather strips hung more glass from her ears. Similar jewelry wrapped around her throat and wrists, and a glass stud pierced her nose while two more pierced her opposite brow. Glass chips were woven into her poncho and nearly all of her fingers had rings.

    Some of the glass was dark brown, but most of the chips were cloudy white or pale yellow, golden, and copper. Like the bits of glass I had chipped from the statue¡¯s hair.

    My gaze cut to Fern. Had she sent us on that trap of a quest just to get this woman¡¯s favor?

    The woman smiled. ¡°It looks like we¡¯ve been found. Your mission was a success then.¡±

    Fern nodded and she sounded just slightly more breathy than normal. ¡°It was. My group also collected more glass for you.¡±

    She gestured for us to hand over the bits of glass Breck and I had gathered. Part of me wanted to keep the glass just to be obstinate, but there wasn¡¯t anything I could do with it and the lady was obviously a whisper woman who didn¡¯t hate me yet. It¡¯d probably be best to stay on her good side. So I handed over my bit of glass with gritted teeth and a strong wish I could throttle Fern, just for a minute, without consequences.

    ¡°From all of you? How kind.¡± The woman¡¯s gentle smile strengthened.

    Breck relayed the bad news. ¡°Unless someone¡¯s willing to climb the statue now I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll be getting much more of that.¡±

    The whisper woman raised her eyebrows at Fern.

    Fern answered the silent question. ¡°Some unfortunate circumstances caused the tree on the statue to fall. But the corpse gorger might be dead.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but feel that her last sentence sounded more like a question than a statement and a plea for the woman¡¯s approval. Fern wasn¡¯t acting like herself and even if I didn¡¯t like her normal uptight, idiotic attitude this was somehow worse.

    ¡°Indeed?¡± A flicker of interest on the woman¡¯s face, her tone of voice, but she didn¡¯t offer Fern a reprieve from whatever strain she was under.

    Miyan, thank the storms, chose that moment to break into the conversation. ¡°Where¡¯s the Tamer, Barra?¡±

    Barra rolled her eyes and gestured toward the door behind us. ¡°Where she always is. With the birds.¡±

    Miyan crossed her arms and pressed, ¡°Where?¡±

    Barra let out a breath, closed her eyes, and after a moment¡¯s concentration declared, ¡°Quibble¡¯s nest again. His gut issues have come back.¡± Then she seemed to realize something and she smiled at us again. I couldn¡¯t quite decide if it was genuine or a mask. ¡°I haven¡¯t introduced myself. I¡¯m Barra, the Rookery¡¯s Tracker. I make sure we can always find our birds and, occasionally, their Tamer.¡±

    I think she thought she had made a good joke.

    Fern quickly introduced the group and then Miyan hustled us back out the door so we could go meet the Rookery¡¯s leader. I hoped she wasn¡¯t like the Tracker.

 Book 3 - Ch. 29: Hearing Before Seeing

    ¡°Quibble, you can eat your medicine or you can eat me. Either way it¡¯s going down your gullet.¡±

    We heard the Tamer before we saw her. As we rounded another nest, this one with a storm bird more interested in the scene playing out nearby than us, the Tamer¡¯s no-nonsense voice filled the air again.

    ¡°Well? I can always tell Brint ¡®no berries¡¯ until you¡¯re smart about this.¡±

    A mutinous, outraged squawk.

    ¡°No berries. Medicine first.¡±

    A quieter squawk and then we were close enough to see what the spectator storm bird was seeing.

    An old woman, tall and lean and dark skinned, was squaring off with what looked like a juvenile storm bird. She had a large brown thrust orb up near the creature¡¯s face, but despite those antics, her hair was what immediately pulled at my attention. The sides were pulled tight and graying which contrasted strikingly to the soft black coils forming a mohawk down the center of her head. Everything else about her was practical: plain poncho and leathers, sturdy shoes, and a cane that she leaned on with her other hand. Though the cane¡¯s presence was eye catching in itself. A straight piece of wood near the right length that wasn¡¯t made into a spear? That was a rare thing, and it had clearly been better crafted and cared for than my own makeshift walking stick. She did wear a few bits of jewelry but they were more than understated after meeting Barra and seeing the rest of the tribe.

    The Tamer ignored us as we stopped a healthy distance away. Wren looked like she had at least a dozen questions she wanted to ask the older woman, but even she knew better than to interrupt. Still, Wren looked cute when she got that excited gleam in her eye.

    Quibble kept being difficult but, like Wren with Chirp, the Tamer eventually got her way. He snapped up the pill, squawked unhappily again, and then burrowed under the wing of an adult storm bird in the nest in front of the the Tamer that had watched the entire proceedings with a keen eye. Quibble¡¯s parent preened the top of his head while giving the Tamer the stink eye.

    She held her hands up in a placating gesture at the giant bird. ¡°I¡¯m done. All done, and you should be glad of it too or you might not have a hatchling come the Heartsong Festival.¡±

    The bird ignored her in favor of comforting Quibble.

    The Tamer turned to face us and I got the impression of bright yellow eyes and pinkish-brown lips. I blinked. She wasn¡¯t one of the whisper women. After spending two-thirds of a year among their ranks it was odd to to see someone with obvious authority who didn¡¯t have black lips. Even we had them now.

    Wren¡¯s question tripped out of her as the Tamer¡¯s cane thumped into the ground. ¡°You can¡ªI thought¡ªhow do they understand you?¡±

    The Tamer snorted and her demeanor softened. ¡°A lifetime of practice and observation. The herders know their reindeer and sheep; I know my birds. Communication is more than words, girl. Remember that.¡±

    Wren nodded, chastised, as Miyan stepped forward.

    ¡°I brought the remaining group, grandmother.¡±

    I stiffened at the title before my mind caught up and recognized that Miyan had called her ¡®grandmother¡¯ with the wrong inflection for her to be the tribe¡¯s spiritual leader. Nor did the Tamer have any of the symbols or signs that traditionally marked a Grandmother.

    The Tamer flicked her gaze across the group. ¡°Good girl. Bring their fire starter and healer to the village. They can get settled with the other two.¡±

    Miyan looked a bit put out to be sent on another errand so soon, but she gestured for Colm and Sid to follow her and, after a quick word with Fern, they did.

    The Tamer spread her free arm out. ¡°Welcome to my Rookery. As you know I¡¯m the Tamer, Tufani. What you likely don¡¯t know is why you are here.¡± She raised an expectant eyebrow. ¡°Would anyone like to guess?¡±

    Wren took a chance. ¡°To ride the birds?¡±

    Tufani chuckled. ¡°You¡¯d like that, wouldn¡¯t you?¡±

    Wren¡¯s eyes gleamed with anticipation as she nodded. A miserable little twitter came from her hair.

    Tufani stumped forward on her cane. She didn¡¯t bend her right leg much as she walked. ¡°Who¡¯s this?¡±

    Wren brushed her hair to the side, suddenly a bit shy. ¡°Chirp. We¡¯ve been friends since I found him as a hatchling.¡± She bit her lip and then pressed on in a rush. ¡°He¡¯s jealous that the other birds are big enough to carry me. They have a lot of requests. I can talk with them.¡±

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    She traced the mark under her eye.

    Tufani softened further as she took in Chirp¡¯s tiny form. ¡°A bird as handsome and smart as you has no reason to be jealous. I¡¯m sure there are many things you can do that the storm birds can¡¯t.¡±

    Chirp puffed up at that and twittered something that sounded smug back. The Tamer reached out and unerringly found the spot he liked to be scratched just behind the bottom of his beak.

    Tufani met Wren¡¯s gaze. ¡°He understands?¡±

    Wren grinned at her. ¡°Every word.¡±

    Tufani grinned back before she seemed to remember herself. She drew back and took us all in again. Breck¡¯s boredom, Ulo¡¯s skepticism, Juniper¡¯s misery, Nii and Wren¡¯s excitement, Fern and me giving nothing away.

    She planted her cane in front of her and stood tall. ¡°You will get to fly on the storm birds. Eventually. If you listen and learn and reach an appropriate level of skill.¡±

    I glanced up the birds soaring overhead. It felt a bit surreal to think that I could be there, on one, someday.

    ¡°You might be wondering why whisper women would need to fly when you have the shadow paths. But there are cloudy days, moonless nights, times when only the goddess¡¯s pines still cast a shadow and the place you need to go is far from them.¡± Tufani¡¯s gaze slipped in the direction of Azabel¡¯s territory before snapping back to us. ¡°That is when you will need my birds. That is when you will need to know how to care for them, to ride them, properly, how to communicate with them. You will get to know the birds while you are here and you will treat them with respect or I will deny you the privilege of learning those things.¡±

    We stared back at her, shaken. After finally learning how to shadow walk between trees it had felt like we could go anywhere, do anything. We just had to focus and picture where we wanted to go in our minds.

    But, now, with her speech the harsh reality of our abilities settled back into view. There were times when there wouldn¡¯t be a shadow to step into or out of. On the shore that horrible day the mist had covered everything. The whisper women wouldn¡¯t have been able to shadow walk if they hadn¡¯t able to put together the makeshift system with the tents¡ªand that wouldn¡¯t have worked if the forest hadn¡¯t been nearby or they didn¡¯t have the tents or something else had gone wrong. Not even Hana, for all her skill at shadow walking, would have been able to anything without shadows to travel through.

    The goddess¡¯s boons weren¡¯t limitless. They just gave us an edge in key areas so that we could focus more on doing our duties for her rather than logistics. After all, when I took moment to think about it they boiled down to quick travel, quick communication, and mitigating environmental factors that the goddess wasn¡¯t inclined to change like the dark and harsh weather.

    Tufani cut through my musing with her next announcement. ¡°You can get started by helping your other group remove the feces from around the nests in the northwestern quarter and fertilize the surrounding trees. They will show you the process.¡±

    She started to thump away and I wasted no time in following her with the rest of the group even as my mind buzzed at the thought of seeing Prevna¡ªand the others¡ªagain. As we walked Tufani caught Wren¡¯s attention and brought Wren up beside her by pulling her into a conversation about bird care. Wren seemed thrilled to be talking someone whose interest in birds matched her own. Fern¡¯s face became pinched as she lost her chance to speak with the Rookery¡¯s leader and report on our journey. I don¡¯t think Tufani could have cared less about anything that happened outside the Rookery¡¯s borders.

    I tried to organize my thoughts as we wound around nests and gigantic birds and working tribes people. What should I tell her? How had Prevna¡¯s own journey gone? Hopefully, it had less creepy creatures than mine. How would she react when she saw me? Maybe after spending weeks with Dera¡¯s sweetness and Loclen¡¯s smarts and Andhi¡¯s cheer she would realize that the effort it took to spend time with me wasn¡¯t worth it. At least I didn¡¯t have to worry about Ento and Idra. I couldn¡¯t picture them willing mixing with anyone but Juniper¡ªeveryone else was beneath them and wouldn¡¯t get their private jokes.

    It was easier being alone.

    Maybe if I repeated it enough I would believe that again all the way to my bones.

    But right now, after Prevna¡¯s absence for weeks and her ¡®you won¡¯t be getting rid of me¡¯ and ¡®from one horror to another¡¯ and that last terrible, wonderful, hug I don¡¯t think much would hurt worse than her avoiding my gaze and leaving me alone.

    Which, of course, was what I had done to Fellen.

    Except worse. Much, much worse.

    Luckily, everyone else slowed to a stop around me as my feet rooted in place. My fingers itched for the felt leaf in my pouch.

    It had made so much sense at the time. But how? After everything, how had been so simple to do something so horrible to her? Was I really just that terrible of a person? Unable¡ª

    Someone flicked me on the nose.

    I blinked and looked up from the ground, ready to tear into whoever had dared to touch me. The words died on my tongue as Prevna smiled wryly down at me. Right there. Braided buns and teasing eyes and unfairly tall.

    ¡°I thought I told you remember my hug if you went into tunnels?¡±

    ¡°I did,¡± I grumbled.

    ¡°And it didn¡¯t help?¡± Pretend outrage masking a bit of real hurt.

    My jaw worked before I managed to mutter, ¡°It helped.¡±

    She hugged me and whispered in ear, ¡°Then don¡¯t get lost right when we¡¯re supposed to be reuniting.¡±

    I batted her lightly away, an inexplicable blush rising up my neck and ears at her words. Everyone else had already moved away to begin intermixing and chatting, so at least no one else could see it.

    Juniper slipped back into Ento and Idra¡¯s fold while Andhi, Nii, and Ulo formed their bunch next to a nest. Loclen, Dera, Breck, and Wren formed the biggest new group as they swapped stories. Fern strode over to confer with the other Sapling leader whose name I had never learned and who seemed grateful for a distraction from the monotony of watching girls shovel poop.

    Prevna gave me a knowing look. ¡°Don¡¯t want to join the others just yet?¡±

    ¡°Not yet.¡±

    That got a raised eyebrow, but she led me over to another nest without comment. Then we spent the rest of the day shoveling poop onto a travois, dragging it into the woods to unload it, and doing it all over again while catching up. To my surprise, I didn¡¯t try to keep much of anything a secret.

 Book 3 - Ch. 30: Eavesdropper

    My group wasn¡¯t the only one who had an eventful time getting to the Rookery. Prevna¡¯s group might not have had to deal with an idiotic pair that went haring off into the woodlands on their own, but they had stumbled into a trap of their own: the territory of an overgrown bloody grasper.

    Bloody graspers were cousins with the bloated graspers I had used to help trap the festerlings. The plants looked nearly identical, but the bloody grasper had small red dots on the base of its leaves. And where the bloated graspers used their sticky sap to trap insects, the bloody graspers went for bigger game. Normally that meant small animals, but they could get big enough that elk calves and children could be added to its diet. The other group should still have been too big for it, but that apparently hadn¡¯t mattered.

    Idra¡¯s invisible shield had been useless since the vines were already all around them and underfoot before they realized the danger. Dera and her panicked and were nearly swallowed by the plant before Andhi¡¯s ice claws and Ento¡¯s floating daggers saved the day. Prevna had spent the fight helping defend Loclen from the lashing, encircling vines since she didn¡¯t have as much combat or hunting experience.

    Then they camped too close to a stream that flooded. It wasn¡¯t enough to drown anyone or pull them away in the current, but all of their stuff got waterlogged. They lost some of their preserved food that way, and Ento, Prevna, and Dera got sick as the following day turned cloudy and windy. They were all recovered now, but they lost a few days to Ento developing a pretty bad fever.

    The other group also didn¡¯t have Wren with her training under a Navigator and her ability to talk to birds, so it took them longer to head in the right direction and find their way to the Rookery. They managed to beat us here because their Sapling hadn¡¯t insisted that they stay in one spot until one person gave them permission to move on.

    Then again, from what Prevna said, it also sounded like the other group hadn¡¯t fractured like we had. Instead, Prevna had used the chance to get to know the others all a little better.

    I got a knowing look and shake of the head when she heard how my journey had gone. Apparently, it made sense that my group would run into two different types of unnatural monsters. She was surprised to hear about Juniper¡¯s breakdown though and that I hadn¡¯t ignored everyone completely. Still, Prevna was caught somewhere between amusement, annoyance, and exasperated at my spats with Ulo and her expression got real dark when I quietly shared that two memories had taken me over in as little words as possible before she gave me another quick hug.

    That night everyone was gathered around a cook fire separate from the Rookery tribe, near the bottom of the cliff. We could have gathered with them, but we learned it was something of a tradition for them to let us have space to ourselves the first night a cohort reunited at the Rookery. Even Fern and her counterpart were encouraged to give us space. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if the Saplings enjoyed the break too.

    While everyone had split to be with their usual groups when we first met up, it was interesting to see that the lines were somewhat redrawn and looser around the cook fire.

    Prevna sat nearby with Loclen, Dera, and Wren while they caught up more and marveled at the Rookery. Juniper had somehow found her way next to me, frowning at the practice scenario I had set up, while Idra glared at me from across the fire. Ento was pressed up against her, talking to Breck. Andhi and Nii were having their own private discussion at the edge of firelight while Ulo was obsessively practicing with her spear beyond them.

    I could have ignored Juniper in favor of the collection of sticks and stones at my feet, but the longer I tried, the more I remembered the defeated way her head had dropped onto my shoulder.

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you with the other two?¡± I asked as I rubbed the side of my nose.

    Her gaze flicked up to mine before I saw purposefully focus on the practice scenario. ¡°Where is this supposed to be?¡±

    I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. That was one of the worst deflections I had seen. ¡°Did they forget how to interact with a third person while you were separated?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    I waited.

    She pointed. ¡°You promised to help teach me.¡±

    ¡°With shadow walking, not everything else.¡± I started to put away the stones and sticks she was pointing at.

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    ¡°Hey!¡± At Juniper¡¯s exclamation, Idra started to rise from her spot, but then Juniper waved her off and she sat back down with a frown.

    Prevna also caught my eye at the same moment and gave me a look that said it wouldn¡¯t hurt me to be nicer. Which was all well and good for her to imply, but I hadn¡¯t quite decided if Juniper was safe yet.

    So I gave her another out. ¡°It looks they would welcome you back over.¡±

    Juniper shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t need to be babysat.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Well, I don¡¯t need to be some kind of point you¡¯re making.¡±

    She crossed her arms too. ¡°I¡¯m not leaving so you might as well put the scenario back out. I wanted to come up with another strategy.¡±

    ¡°Strategies are worthless if you freeze up when it¡¯s time to use them.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t freeze up.¡±

    ¡°Fine. They¡¯re useless when you give up because something unexpected happened and then things didn¡¯t go your way.¡±

    Juniper opened her mouth, closed it. It didn¡¯t take her long after that to get up and drift towards the placid lake that the odd waterways ran into. Idra glared at me again before Ento and her broke off their conversation with Breck to go after her.

    Prevna made a graceful exit out of her own conversation to come sit next to me. ¡°What was that?¡±

    ¡°She was bothering me.¡±

    ¡°Everything bothers you. It didn¡¯t seem like you were trying to cut her to the quick at first.¡±

    I shifted, not willing to admit the truth while meeting her gaze. ¡°I wanted to know why she was here and not over there.¡± I gestured to where Idra and Ento had been sitting.

    Prevna bumped my shoulder with hers. ¡°So you chased her away?¡±

    ¡°Just proving a point.¡± I shrugged.

    Prevna snorted before sighing in exasperation. ¡°You should go after her.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± I snapped my head around to stare at her.

    ¡°Because earlier you told me ¡®not yet¡¯ when I asked if you wanted to join the others. If you want anyone you can actually join you¡¯re going to have to let them know you¡¯re more than sharp edges and painful retorts.¡±

    ¡°That didn¡¯t put you off,¡± I muttered.

    She didn¡¯t honor the comment with acknowledgment.

    ¡°Go let her know you didn¡¯t mean to be mean, and I won¡¯t tell Chirp that you have a secret stash of bugs just for him,¡± Prevna teased.

    I couldn¡¯t give in that easily even though the thought of Chirp pestering me until he got a handful of bugs I didn¡¯t have sounded like a nightmare. ¡°Idra and Ento already went after her.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean you can¡¯t go over there too.¡± Prevna gave me a sidelong judgmental look. ¡°You have until I get over to Wren to start walking in that direction.¡±

    I stubbornly stayed sitting while she got up and walked towards the group she had been with.

    Prevna didn¡¯t wait until she rejoined them to act on her threat. ¡°Hey, Chirp¡ª¡±

    I scrambled to my feet and she had the audacity to wink at me as I strode past her and into the dark. Thankfully the area we were in had been grazed recently, so the grass didn¡¯t reach up to my knees and cause me to step awkwardly. The cliff loomed overhead though, and made the everything harder to see than it would have been under the early night sky.

    Keeping my steps quiet out of habit, I continued forward until I started to hear voices. Then I edged a little closer and dropped low to the ground so that I could eavesdrop on Juniper, Idra, and Ento over the sounds of gently running water. Really, I knew Prevna wanted me to walk up to them and announce myself, but that would be a waste of an opportunity.

    ¡°¡ªfine! Okay? I just needed some air.¡± That was Juniper.

    ¡°There¡¯s air all around us. Come to think of it, I think there was some at the cook fire too.¡± And that was Ento.

    Idra¡¯s harsh voice broke in next. ¡°I know Gimley did something! You should just let me punch her already. She deserves it. A little tap at the very least.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s helping me.¡±

    ¡°It sure didn¡¯t look like it.¡±

    ¡°Things didn¡¯t go like they were supposed to on the journey here. I¡­they didn¡¯t go like they were supposed to. Gimley can shadow walk between trees and she practices strategy and she¡­she doesn¡¯t panic. Those are things I need.¡± That was certainly more praise from Juniper than I was expecting.

    ¡°You have those.¡± Idra sounded stubborn.

    ¡°I have training. I thought that meant that I was ready and prepared, but, apparently, I¡¯m not even good enough to be saved right away, and I couldn¡¯t even pull myself together enough to get out of a tree when I was touching its shadow. Instead, I nearly got Breck and Gimley killed.¡±

    ¡°You care too much about what they think. You proved yourself on the shore. Once we go back to the tribe you¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°I need to be capable in all situations and right now I¡¯m failing!¡±

    ¡°No one¡¯s perfect.¡± Ento again.

    ¡°They are if they carry the pearl for the Water Frond Snake,¡± Juniper snapped.

    That shut them all up.

    I was debating about revealing myself versus waiting for them to move away when Juniper spoke again, ¡°Just give me some space. I can¡¯t just rely on you.¡±

    Ento replied, ¡°That¡¯s what we¡¯re here for.¡±

    ¡°Well, figure something else out for a bit.¡±

    Idra muttered a curse and huffed, and then I heard footsteps thumping back in my direction. It was a quick debate between laying still and popping upright to pretend like I had just been on way to see them. Laying still won. Idra and Ento walked past about a dozen feet away without seeing me.

    I could only thank the cliff¡¯s shadow.

    When they were far enough away that I was sure they wouldn¡¯t see me I got up and made my way over to where Juniper was staring sullenly at the lake. I could have left her alone, but I knew better than to underestimate Prevna¡¯s abilities to figure out what I had done or not, and somehow Chirp begging me for food seemed pretty likely if I didn¡¯t follow all the way through.

    ¡°If you still want to practice shadow walking meet me tomorrow morning at the cook fire before the morning meal.¡±

    Juniper startled at my voice, but I turned and left before she could much more of a reaction than that. She¡¯d show up or she wouldn¡¯t. Either way I had done what I was supposed to do.

 Book 3 - Ch. 31: Expectations

    Juniper showed up to practice the next morning. But so did most of the cohort. Loclen and Ulo were the notable absences. Loclen because she refused to be dragged out of bed before the morning meal, and Ulo because she wouldn¡¯t be caught dead listening to anything I had to say voluntarily. Andhi and Nii braved my questionable presence, but I couldn¡¯t help but think they were there to report back to their ring leader.

    I felt cheated. Indignant¡­confused.

    Of course the one time I risked being helpful it was already going wrong. I shot Prevna a look, but she didn¡¯t seem the least bit repentant for what had to be her handiwork.

    ¡°We all want to get better.¡± Prevna shrugged.

    Which was ironic given that most of them hadn¡¯t bothered to try to teach me when we were back at the practice ground. Now they wanted me to help them? My grudges were never that shallow.

    Besides, it was odd that so many of them would be open to learning from me. I was sure that at least some of them had suspicions about my background and the rest simply didn¡¯t like me.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°I¡¯ll help Juniper, Prevna, and Breck. They at least tried to help me at the practice ground. The rest of you can watch from a distance and see if you learn something like I was forced to do.¡±

    Idra snapped, ¡°Ento and I were there too!¡±

    ¡°Only because you punched a whisper woman!¡± Andhi burst out at the same time.

    I ignored Andhi and addressed Idra, ¡°You were there, but only because you felt obligated to Juniper. I wouldn¡¯t call that ¡®being helpful¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Screw you, Gimley.¡±

    Idra and Ento stalked off after sharing one last look with Juniper.

    Andhi didn¡¯t take well to being ignored, ¡°You shouldn¡¯t punish us for your mistakes!¡±

    I turned my best glare on her and she noticeably withered. ¡°My punishment doesn¡¯t allow me to be mentored by whisper women. Last I checked you were still a Sprout like the rest of us.¡±

    Andhi opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed it again. Wren and Dera also looked deflated at my announcement. Nii looked like she had just tasted something bad.

    I turned on Prevna and hissed, ¡°I thought you knew better than to force people on me!¡±

    She snorted. ¡°There¡¯s no other way to get people near you.¡± Then she continued, more serious, ¡°This is a basic skill we all need to know. If you know how to do it better then you should share it with everyone.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together. The way Prevna spoke made it sound like what she was saying was common knowledge, the expected way of doing things. But while everyone in the tribe had some basic fundamental knowledge about survival skills, those that were more skilled didn¡¯t necessarily share their improved abilities. Huntresses didn¡¯t teach those outside their group how to hunt or forage better, everyone left learning how to cook better to the cooks, and everyone¡¯s knowledge of healing pretty much stopped at putting a bandage on a cut and hoping for the best. Of course, that last one was out of fear as well as habit.

    Then my gaze caught on her once gray lips.

    In a tribe, waterhole or runner, everyone had an assignment and duties that went with that. You were a huntress or a herder or a craft person or a cook. A healer. Some positions overlapped because there wasn¡¯t enough to do for it to take up all your time or people got bored and wanted a change for a few days. Healers might not have that option, but the fish cleaners and rock and bone knappers did.

    In a Picker band there wouldn¡¯t be enough people for those kinds of specializations. Oh, they might have previous knowledge if they came from a tribe, but it wasn¡¯t likely that a person from every type of specialization would end up in a band. Then they¡¯d have to piece together the tidbits of knowledge that they did have and guess at the rest or steal what they needed. Everyone had to know how to survive to the best of their ability in all areas to make up for the lack.

    Which lent itself to Prevna¡¯s apparent way of thinking: everything deemed necessary for survival¡ªor in our case, succeed as whisper women¡ªshould be shared, voluntarily or not.

    It wasn¡¯t remotely close to the way I was used to thinking about things. She had been big on exclusion.

    I didn¡¯t want to hurt Prevna, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to share everything I earned the hard way for next to nothing. Wren and Dera would probably be grateful, but I couldn¡¯t count on even that from the others who hadn¡¯t earned the right to learn what I knew. They didn¡¯t owe me anything for the lack of help, but, by the same point, I didn¡¯t owe them. Especially when a good chunk of the beggars didn¡¯t even like me.

    I held firm as I faced Prevna. ¡°And they all got training from older seedlings I won¡¯t get. Like I said, they can watch while I help you, Juniper, and Breck. It¡¯s up to them if they get something from that or not.¡±

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    She didn¡¯t back down either. ¡°And if I tell everyone what you tell us?¡±

    My jaw clenched.

    A part of me¡ªa small part¡ªwas aching to cut her and her hold over me down. To yell at Prevna that she would be a thieving Picker I didn¡¯t hold any respect for. That we couldn¡¯t be friends if that¡¯s how little she valued my opinions. I held that raving impulse down with the memory of Fellen¡¯s tears and her parting words.

    Another part was tempted to just walk away. To not teach anyone at all or tell Juniper that I¡¯d honor my word another time, but I had told her that I¡¯d help this morning and I knew she needed all the help she could get.

    A third part recognized that I was hardly an expert on shadow walking and that, eventually, the rest of the cohort would have to put together what I knew if they wanted any hope of becoming fully fledged whisper women. It wasn¡¯t secret knowledge or even likely worth all of this fuss. Sharing what I knew would also likely earn me some needed goodwill.

    But it was my knowledge. My skill that I had honed over long hours and¡­difficult times. It¡­hurt that Prevna was just expecting me to hand it over, even if she didn¡¯t know the full history of what she was asking. She had seen me struggle with shadow walking and lack of care from the cohort.

    And, I was realizing, she hadn¡¯t insisted that the rest of the cohort share what they were learning about shadow walking with me. Perhaps she had figured that what she was learning was enough since we were all focusing on the same skill, but that didn¡¯t change the difference in her insistence now.

    ¡°Then,¡± I chose my words with deliberate care, ¡°from one horror to another, we¡¯ll see if I ever tell you anything else.¡±

    Prevna flinched back even as her gaze sharpened. Became searching. Perhaps because of the way my voice caught on her favorite phrase or my own minuscule flinch at the end as I finished the sentence.

    I didn¡¯t give her time to find whatever she wanted to see. I whirled on Juniper. ¡°We¡¯ll need to find another time to practice.¡±

    Then I strode away toward the cliff.

    ¡°Gimley!¡± Prevna shouted after me.

    My throat felt dry and tight but I ignored her. I didn¡¯t want to look at her. Didn¡¯t want to know what she might see in my expression or what I might see in hers. What I said wasn¡¯t as bad as what I had done to Fellen, but it still wasn¡¯t good. It still wasn¡¯t what I suppose to say to a friend, if that¡¯s what we were, and I didn¡¯t want to open up my mouth and see what other things came out.

    I wasn¡¯t living up to expectations.

    Or, perhaps, I was, and that was precisely the problem.

    ¡°Gimley!¡± Prevna was following me, an edge of exasperation in her voice.

    I kept going to the base of the cliff before I started up one of the winding switchbacks we had been shown the day before. The paths had been impressive then, I barely paid attention to the one under my feet now except for the irritation of burning muscles slowing me down.

    Prevna caught up to me before I was even halfway up, longer legs and more years of constant exercise lending her an unfair advantage.

    ¡°What was that back there?¡± And then when I didn¡¯t answer or look at her or stop walking,

    ¡°Gimley!¡± Prevna sighed. ¡°I¡¯m getting real tired of yelling your name when I know you can hear me.¡±

    I kept walking with my eyes on the ground in front of my feet.

    ¡°Why are you running away?¡±

    Oh, she knew how to push my buttons. I barely kept the words behind my teeth where they belonged.

    ¡°Fine. We¡¯ll keep walking in the same direction until you realize that I¡¯m not going away.¡±

    I flinched at the way her words mirrored the time she had followed me to the lake at the end of the Heartsong festival. She had been this odd mix of sour exasperation and patience then too.

    I made it around two more long corners before my feet ground to a stop. I wanted to sink into a crouch, huddle into the wall, but my pride kept me upright with my fingers digging painfully into my palms.

    I sensed Prevna shift and lean against the wall behind me. Not pressing into my space, not tense or accusing. She waited.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to say something I¡¯ll regret,¡± I whispered.

    Prevna huffed out a short laugh. ¡°I think you already did that.¡±

    I didn¡¯t offer an apology and she didn¡¯t ask for one. We weren¡¯t far enough gone to need that formal declaration.

    After a short silence she prodded, ¡°What happened back there? I didn¡¯t expect you to be thrilled but I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d¡­freak out so much.¡±

    I swallowed to try and force down the lump in my throat. Not even Prevna knew the full details of my time with her. Of how hard won every bit of knowledge and skill I actually wanted had been.

    And I had given it all away with the edge of my eating knife. Because of a blessing and predetermined I hadn¡¯t wanted or asked for.

    Giving anything else away felt like carving up a dried up husk, but the husk was all I had to cling to. The others had their blessings and their training they could lean on. Their friendly personalities and previous relationships and easy acceptance as normal, helpful.

    I tried to find a way to put what I was feeling into words, shifting and meeting Prevna¡¯s gaze as I did so. I needed to see her understanding as I spoke.

    ¡°My knowledge is all I¡¯ve ever had. If I give it up, it has to be on my own terms, not on anyone else¡¯s. Not yours or even the Beloved¡¯s. Not even if it¡¯s for the best or other people need it. It has to be on my terms.¡±

    Her face warred between what she had been raised to believe and the implications of what I was saying.

    ¡°But¡ª¡± Prevna started before she stopped herself. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, focused on me again. ¡°And if I push you on this?¡±

    Tension coiled up my spine and into my jaw. ¡°I don¡¯t think either of us will like how that turns out.¡± Quiet but deadly certain.

    ¡°Why is it so important to you?¡± She seemed genuinely baffled for the first time since I met her.

    Memories washed over me and I had to fight and focus on her face, so I didn¡¯t fall back into them. Words¡­I didn¡¯t have words that could adequately encompass what she was asking.

    So I asked a question instead, ¡°Why do you look like you¡¯re seeing a stranger whenever you catch sight of your black lips?¡±

    Prevna stilled just at the mention of them. But, in that moment, she looked like she understood.

    ¡°Fine. Fine! I won¡¯t press you to share with the others if you don¡¯t want to.¡±

    I nodded my thanks.

    Crack. Crack. Crack.

    The unmistakable thwack of an Echo¡¯s rhythm sticks hitting each other echoed out over the Rookery. Birds screeched and called to each other as the Echo continued her beat. There was only one reason I could think of that an Echo would hit her sticks without a ceremony this time of year.

    To warn that the First Flurry was only hours away.

 Book 3 - Ch. 32: For Wing, For Wind, For Glory

    We gathered back down in the tribesmen¡¯s village. They had set aside a decently sized hut for the cohort to stay in though we hadn¡¯t made use of it the night before. No one had wanted to use it before we were all crammed together for the foreseeable future¡ªthe hut might have been decently sized, but it was still only big enough for all of us to lay down to sleep with some space leftover for supplies and a small fire pit.

    It made me wish for the large meeting hall back in Grislander¡¯s Maw even if it meant no privacy and close quarters with every judgmental person in the valley. There, at least, there was enough space to walk around without tripping over someone and fire starters could be counted on to keep the warming fires going. Here, there was still no privacy and, on the especially snowy or stormy days, we didn¡¯t have a guarantee that one of the villagers would brave the weather to check on us.

    I¡¯d have pay more attention to a fire than I ever had in my life, just make sure we didn¡¯t have huddle together for warmth until one of the villagers did come. I was halfway tempted to stay in one of our tents, just to have space to myself, but they weren¡¯t the family tents that everyone had back in the valley. You couldn¡¯t stand in them and room to move would be close to what we¡¯d have in hut, anyway. And that was even without taking into account the fact that we didn¡¯t have the proper coverings and other things people did to help prepare their tents for the cold season.

    Luckily, the hut would mainly be a sleeping space since we would still be expected to help out around the Rookery and learn about the birds. I wouldn¡¯t be trapped.

    Juniper, Wren, and Dera watched Prevna and me with varying levels of concern as we rejoined the group and helped to get our things set in the hut, but they didn¡¯t press us about what happened right away. That would likely come later after the First Flurry blew through. Right now, making sure everything was ready for the cold season came first, even if there was only so much we could do as outsiders.

    Fern, Colm, and Sid stopped by, along with the other group¡¯s Sapling leader, firestarter, and healer, as we finishing getting our things put away and were trying to figure out what to do next.

    ¡°Now that the cold season is here we¡¯re headed back to the Seedling Palace. You¡¯ll have until the Dark Night celebrations to figure out flying on the birds; then it¡¯ll be time to earn your next boon.¡± Fern looked us over. ¡°I¡¯d brush up your skills. All of them.¡±

    She was already turning away when Ulo asked, eager, ¡°Which boon?¡±

    Fern kept walking and didn¡¯t answer, but the other Sapling coyly tapped one eye before she followed Fern with the rest of their group.

    Dark sight.

    Out of the corner of my eye I saw Idra turn to Ento with excitement while Ulo deflated. I never wanted to agree with Ulo on anything, but I didn¡¯t think it was the most exciting of boons, either. We could already see pretty well in low light; what difference would seeing in complete darkness make? That didn¡¯t happen too often.

    Sure, there was the time Fellen and I stumbled our way under Flickermark and she had to keep snapping her fingers for flickers of light, but how often would we be deep underground?

    Her Beloved had earned the boon of dark sight from her third trial. Not much was known about she saw during that trial, but the hill that trial had taken place on was nicknamed Longing. Seven portals she had to step into, seven perfectly realized desires she had to turn away from and choose the goddess.

    Not just the devout and the desperate for the goddess¡¯s attention traveled to Longing. Rumors whispered of addicts going there and losing themselves in daydreams until they wasted away. People who wished to be handed what they wanted and taking a false reality instead. People who wished to find hints to their success to better act on their ambitions, but who lost themselves to what they saw instead.

    Despite Fellen¡¯s ambitions, I hoped I never traveled there only to see her sprawled out in the grass, bone thin and lost in a daydream she would never wake from.

    Others had followed their lost family members to Longing. Intent on waking them up and bringing them back home, but no one had ever succeeded. Only the daydreamers could save themselves and, it seemed, most did not want to.

    In a way that place had two Statue Gardens.

    We had completed a different kind of puzzle to earn the right to drink the shadows from the Beloved. She had solved Flickermark¡¯s maze. Would our next trial be different as well or would we follow in the Beloved footsteps in order to see in the dark?

    I sincerely hoped it was the former. I wasn¡¯t sure what kind of visions I would see, but I wasn¡¯t sure I could pull myself back to reality if I was given my healer¡¯s beads back, even if it was only a dream.

    Fern had told us to improve all of our skills, but that might not have been necessarily for earning the boon. We might need the skills for whatever came after, like the side trip to get the glass chips from the statue.

    Before I could fall deeper into the implications of Fern¡¯s words the Rookery tribe pulled the cohort into their final preparations. Some of us were given the mundane task of gathering dropped limbs and twigs and other fuel in the forest while others were sent to help corral the herds, check on storage, and help patch up any last minute repairs that needed to be done before the snow hit.

    When the tribe¡¯s Grandmother decided the First Flurry was only an hour away her Echo¡¯s rhythm sticks sharp clacks filled the Rookery and the tribe gathered in front of her hut. As seedlings we were given a place of honor near the front of the crowd next to Tufani and Barra.

    Their Grandmother looked younger than mine, but not by much, and it was clear that her Echo and her weren¡¯t sisters. Still, she bore her ceremonial dress with the same confidence and pride that I knew so well.

    ¡°The storm comes. Do we hide from it?¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    Obviously, the tribe members new this particular ritual well. It wasn¡¯t the start to the First Flurry festival that I was used to, but apparently this would be another year with a different start to the cold season. Part of me longed for the cozy comforts of familiar tales and the snow berry hunt¡ªand perhaps those would still come later¡ªwhile the rest of me rolled my eyes at that childish desire.

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

    The Grandmother spoke again, ¡°Do we fear it?¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    They should. In my experience everything the goddess had a hand in was wise to fear.

    ¡°Why?¡± the blood speaker thundered out.

    ¡°The storm is the winds and on the winds we ride!¡±

    ¡°The Beloved chose the First and the goddess gifted her Flight. What say you as the First¡¯s descendants?¡±

    ¡°We fly! For wing, for wind, for glory!¡±

    That chant repeated as the Grandmother strode forward and the crowd parted for her. Tufani and Barra fell in step behind her, interestingly side by side rather than Barra taking the lead as a whisper woman. We followed behind them as the other tribe leaders fell in behind us and the rest of the crowd followed.

    The Grandmother took up shouting, ¡°The storm is the winds and on the winds we ride!¡± along with, ¡°What do we fly for?¡± and ¡°What did the First and Flight grant us?¡±

    The crowd¡¯s answer to her call always included, ¡°For wing, for wind, for glory!¡±

    In between each call and response the Echo would crack her rhythm sticks together each time. That continued as we made our way around the lower lake and up one of the cliff paths. My heart sank, just a little, at the realization I¡¯d have to travel up what I already had that morning, but this time I didn¡¯t need to stop to rest. The Grandmother kept us to a steady pace that ate up the ground without burning through all my reserves of energy.

    It struck me as we marched that the tribes people weren¡¯t focused on their role as caretakers for the birds that whisper women would occasionally need to ride, but instead their chants placed them as the primary fliers, the ones the birds were meant for. Not that they really had achieved much glory as far as I could tell. I certainly had never heard of them. I kept my questions quiet since it was never smart to interrupt a ceremony, but I made a note of them in my mind to ask later.

    The blood speaker led us up to the single goddess grown pine tree the tribe had been gifted with so that whisper women could always reach the Rookery. It was a bit annoying to realize that we could have just shadow walked here if we were more skilled rather than the long trek through the woodlands.

    The pine tree grew near the cliff edge so that someone who stepped from the shadows was as close to both the bird nests with the Tamer¡¯s hut in the middle and the path leading down to the village depending on what they needed. Of course, it wouldn¡¯t surprise me if from there those that needed to go to the village just shadow walked again instead of taking the winding cliff path down. The pine tree had a wide canopy and every branch had several large feathers tied to it that rustled with the needles in the wind.

    The chanting came to an abrupt halt as the Grandmother stopped just before she stepped into the tree¡¯s shadow and turned around. ¡°Let us hear the words of our Tamer and Tracker.¡±

    Barra stepped up first to face the crowd. ¡°Never forget that the shadows and winds reach all corners of the world including the sky. The storm birds can never fly where She does not already reach.¡±

    She smiled softly and, again, I couldn¡¯t quite decide if it was a threat or a mask or genuine.

    Tufani¡¯s cane thumped into the ground as she took her place by Barra¡¯s side. ¡°We are not a waterhole or runner tribe. We live for the birds. Do any less and we fail the trust placed in us.¡±

    As one the three pulled out their prayer needles and pricked their marks, two on the wrist and one on the forehead, before flicking the droplets into the shadow. ¡°We gift this blood to the Goddess so that She does not have to take in the coming days. May it grant Her strength.¡±

    It was our turn next. Wren led the cohort forward the few steps it took to reach the shadow as we all pulled out our prayer needles to prick our bless marks. One by one we said the prayer and the droplets flaked away as more fell. The tribe followed suit after us and once the last bit of blood disappeared into the air Tufani pulled the crowd¡¯s attention to herself again.

    ¡°The storm calls! Who answers with me?¡±

    Four other women with more feathers than normal braided and tied into their hair pushed through the crowd to stand before her. ¡°We do.¡±

    The Tamer nodded and led them off towards the stretch of long grass between the edge of the woods and the nesting grounds. That was when I truly took notice of the five birds waiting there with piles of gear. One might have been Anore, the storm bird Wren talked too, but I wasn¡¯t that good at telling them apart yet.

    It didn¡¯t take long for the five to get the birds saddled and ready to go. The rest of the tribe settled underneath the tree, wrists resting on their knees with the dots facing toward the sky, and they didn¡¯t look remotely unnerved at the fact that soon a wall of snow and wind would be coming our way. I doubted there¡¯d be a magical shell of protection here like there had been at the Grove last year.

    The rest of the cohort and I shared a few glances as the Echo started up a steady beat with her rhythm sticks and the tribe¡¯s Grandmother began to tell the story of the first storm bird rider and her bird, Flight. I wanted to pay attention to the story, but I couldn¡¯t help but worry about being blown over the cliffside.

    Wren tried to approach the nearest tribe member. ¡°Um¡­shouldn¡¯t we go inside the huts?¡±

    We had always taken shelter inside the meeting hall before.

    The woman she spoke to spared her a distracted glance. ¡°Just sit under the tree with us and you¡¯ll be fine. You don¡¯t want to miss the first flight of the season.¡±

    We reluctantly did as we were told even as my mind boggled at the implications of what she had said. Tufani and the others were really going to fly during the First Flurry? The snowstorm might not have the same strength as the Warming Winds, but that didn¡¯t mean it wasn¡¯t strong or disorienting or able to freeze person to their bones. It wasn¡¯t something you voluntarily stayed out in on the ground, much less the sky. I didn¡¯t want to be out here and learn if a line of shamble men guiding the storm really was true. Nor did I want to freeze again.

    But the regular tribes people didn¡¯t look remotely concerned and I had experienced the goddess lessening the force of the Winds for one of Her trees before. I could only hope that the same would be true now because dark clouds were beginning to expand over the sky from the direction of the Seedling Palace and there was no way I could sprint back to the hut now. If worse came to worst, I could always hide in the pine tree¡¯s shadow.

    The saddled birds lowered themselves to the ground and the women climbed up short ladders hooked onto the saddles before rolling them up and tying them into place. The saddles themselves were simple as far I could tell with two long handles that the women laid between and hung onto after tying a cord to either side of their belts. All in all, it didn¡¯t look the most secure and very reliant on arm strength I didn¡¯t have.

    Only when the clouds almost reached the Rookery, a wall of wind and snow blocking out the scenery beneath, did the saddled birds begin to run. The air filled with croaking calls as the rest of the flock called their encouragement. Some followed after the other birds while others settled further into their nests and a handful burst off of their perch on the spires of stone.

    The snowstorm hit just as the five birds leapt off the side of the cliff, wings snapping wide. That was the last thing I saw before¡ªsnow and cold and wind tugged at my braids, my skin, my clothes. It wanted to tug me off the ground, send me flying with the idiots in the sky, but the goddess¡¯s care for her trees calmed the storm just enough that disaster mellowed into blind mayhem.

    Then the wild edge of the storm passed and I could scrape snow and frost out of my eyes to see puffy snowflakes drifting down over a newly frozen landscape. Everything was rimmed with frost and both lakes were completely frozen over. Depending on how fast the water flowed through them that might change in the future, but the goddess was always thorough with the first touch of the cold season. None of the birds looked the worse for wear either despite the fact that they hadn¡¯t had a special tree to hide under. They shook off the snow and kept calling to each other, sounding pleased. A few more went running over the cliffside and I tracked them up into the air.

    They joined the original five swooping and diving through the falling snow. Miraculously all of the riders were still secure in their saddles and not flailing through the air. I stared as they whooped and hollered, clearly enjoying their crazy flight.

    Perhaps the tribe was correct with their chant.

    Being on wind and wing looked a bit glorious.

 Book 3 - Ch. 33: Ice Fliers

    The Rookery tribe turned out to be a bunch of daredevils. The insane first flight of the season only kicked off their idea of celebratory activities. Kids went racing to the iced over waterways with mats they pulled from somewhere so that they could go racing down the cliffside. A group of determined high divers began to cut through the icy crust covering the upper lake under a couple of of spires. A few prematurely clambered up the arched pillars without a care for the frost, all so that they could plunge into the freezing waters below first once the rest finished their hard work. Despite being from a waterhole tribe I¡¯m not sure I wanted to do the same.

    Others joined those already in the air. In some cases it looked like they simply wanted to enjoy flying while the rest competed in races and who could do the quickest, fanciest turns with their birds. Cooks got easily portable food cooking while someone else broke out the alcohol. The few remaining more subdued members of the tribe made snow art or fetched treated animal skins to sit on and watch everyone else¡¯s antics.

    The cohort hesitated under the feathered pine tree, unsure of where we were welcome or what we wanted to do. The day had suddenly changed from a busy training schedule to one of leisure and celebration.

    Nor did it help that the awkwardness between me and everyone else was back. Which wasn¡¯t such a terrible thing, but I didn¡¯t like the feeling that everything wasn¡¯t completely back to normal between Prevna and I. She had pushed me too hard, too fast to open up to the others and my response hadn¡¯t exactly been gentle.

    Miyan, the girl who brought us to the Tamer when we first arrived, paused as she ran past with a mat in one hand. ¡°Join us on the shoots! You won¡¯t regret!¡± She pointed as she kept running. ¡°There¡¯s extra mats over there!¡±

    No one was thrilled to do something as an entire group, but then Wren took the lead with a bright smile as she went over to the nest Miyan had pointed at. ¡°Let¡¯s try it!¡±

    And Breck turned it into a competition when she met my eyes, Idra¡¯s, and Ulo¡¯s in turn with a bit of a feral grin. ¡°I¡¯m going to make it the bottom first.¡±

    Ulo¡¯s face scrunched at the declaration while Idra huffed and walked faster. ¡°You¡¯re more likely to be the first one stuck.¡±

    Prevna raised her eyebrows at me and I shrugged. ¡°They can say what they like but I¡¯m going to win.¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°Not if I¡¯m quicker than you.¡±

    Prevna nudged me with her elbow and I held in a small sigh of relief. Just like that, things felt closer to normal, our argument no longer commanding attention as the last thing we had done together.

    The mats weren¡¯t anything fancy: just long grass woven together and tied in place with cord. Handles were tied on the sides of the mats near the front. Most were on the smaller side too, so Breck, Prevna, and Ento had a harder time finding mats that would keep them from scraping their knees on the ice.

    Andhi, Loclen, and Dera were the least enthused about zipping down dangerous water channels at breakneck speed. Loclen pointed out the logical question of what we were supposed to do if someone accidentally went over the side of a channel, but she was brushed off Breck who said to grab a nearby channel and she¡¯d be fine. Besides, the tribe kids seemed to enjoy it and if they were fine doing this every year, we¡¯d be fine too.

    Dera still looked pale at the idea of going over the edge, but Wren held out a mat to her and she automatically took it. From there she was locked in to go down the shoots whether she liked it or not. Loclen and Andhi¡¯s quiet dislike for each other helped push both of them to giving in to the others, though Breck giving Loclen the longer mat she had found sealed the deal. Breck ended up tying two mats together with some extra cord she had in a pouch.

    Screams of terror and exhilaration filled the air as we joined the group of younger kids crowded between the edge of the lake and the cliff. There were a handful that were our age and a little bit older, but of the young adults had joined the high divers. Miyan told us it was because you weren¡¯t allowed to jump from the ribs until you got the mark of adulthood. She also pointed out which of the easiest of the channels were better for beginner, intermediate, and advanced ice fliers.

    ¡°I practice every year. The riders says this is as close as you can get to flying on the ground.¡± Miyan¡¯s eyes gleamed.

    A couple of adults kept the ice fliers orderly, so we had to wait for our turn to use the beginner channels. Breck tried to convince the one closest to us to let her try out an advanced route right away, but the older woman wouldn¡¯t hear any of it.

    ¡°You work your way up or you don¡¯t go at all. That¡¯s that.¡±

    And it was, though Breck looked determined to be allowed to go on the more difficult channels as quickly as possible. Then we had to figure out who was racing who since there were four beginner routes that we could use at the same time. It turned out simple for my group. Breck had challenged Idra, Ulo, and me first, and there was no way we were going to back down now.

    When the woman called for the next group to get ready we all slid out onto the iced over lake while Prevna, Wren, and Miyan called out encouragement. Chirp twittered something but I couldn¡¯t tell if it was supposed to be encouragement or boasting that the little puffball would beat all of us.

    The shoot I ended up at didn¡¯t look all that promising even if the channels¡¯ presence was impressive on its own. Simple stonework half filled with ice and open air on either side. It¡¯d be a tighter fit for Breck, but I had a decent amount of space on each side and the channel was deep enough that I had to lift my head to see over the edge, but that was fine, because the tribeswoman in charge warned us to keep our heads low so we wouldn¡¯t brain ourselves on any of the other water channels.

    I laid on my stomach like the fliers had on the back of the birds, arms tight against my sides as I held the mat¡¯s handles in a death grip. It felt a bit like when I had leaned out over the root wall to help pull up the commander, but my stomach wasn¡¯t as high in my throat because this time, at least, I had something to catch me other than a wave full of enemies.

    Miyan said this was as close as we could get to flying on the ground.

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    I wanted to know what it was like.

    ¡°Go!¡±

    I shoved off with my feet.

    Tipping, sliding¡­momentum. A straight shot and the thrilling rush of growing speed. And then the first corner, left¡ªI leaned too far and the edge of the channel rose up in front of me. A scream started to tear itself from my throat but I cut it short and corrected back in the other direction.

    Right. Left. Another left. Spiral. Double right.

    Turns again and again and again.

    Barely any time to think, only react. Wind streaming by, stinging my eyes. The ice chilling my chest and legs through the mat. Its handles digging into my palms as I desperately tried to stay in the center of the channel. Thankfully there wasn¡¯t any quick turns or sudden drops.

    But it did feel like I was flying.

    Uncontrollable, unstoppable.

    I shot out of the end of the shoot, skidding along the lower lake. I hung on until I slowed enough to prop myself up and look around.

    Second. Breck beat me down.

    Idra came sliding out of her shoot cursing. I scrambled upright and got out of the way. As I met Breck at the edge of the lake I matched her self-satisfied smile. I might not have been first¡ªwhich was irritating¡ªbut Ulo wasn¡¯t going to like coming in last one bit. Idra already wasn¡¯t happy with third.

    Idra held her nose up in the air and refused to acknowledge us as Ulo came skidding out over the lake. Either her channel had been longer or she got started a second later than the rest of us. Otherwise, I¡¯m not sure how she could have been so far behind.

    When Ulo stomped over to us looking like she wanted to accuse me of something again I looked down my own nose at her. ¡°You can¡¯t possibly be thinking of accusing me of cheating again. I learned about this at the same time you did.¡±

    There was the briefest of stutters in her step, so small that I couldn¡¯t be sure she hadn¡¯t just slipped slightly on the ice, before she snapped out, ¡°Don¡¯t talk to me.¡±

    My jaw clenched but I didn¡¯t press the fight further even if I hated the idea of listening to Ulo. I didn¡¯t want to talk to her either. She kept going past us and Idra and Breck started to trade boasts and insults about who was going to win next time. I saved my breath for the unfortunately long hike back up the cliffside.

    That is until my gaze caught on the woodland surrounding the Rookery. They weren¡¯t the connected trees we had practiced with for the statue, but the goddess grown tree was a lot closer than the statue¡¯s tree had been. Surely, I could cross that distance on my own now? Especially with the goddess grown tree to act as a beacon?

    Idra caught the change in my trajectory. ¡°Where¡¯re you going?¡±

    ¡°Taking a shortcut.¡±

    They both got my meaning. Ulo was too far ahead to hear. Breck eyed the switchback up the cliffside before glancing over at the trees. She shrugged. ¡°I think I¡¯ll join you.¡±

    Idra cursed again and glared at me. ¡°Juniper should let me punch you already.¡±

    I smirked at her. ¡°You¡¯d regret it.¡±

    ¡°If you shared what you knew I wouldn¡¯t have to climb a cliffside!¡±

    ¡°Juniper heard the same lecture I did. Ask her.¡±

    ¡°I hope a storm swallows you, Gimley!¡±

    ¡°Enjoy the exercise!¡± I called back over my shoulder as I kept walking towards the tree line.

    Breck stretched her arms over her head next to me. Once again the bored girl was gone and replaced by a grinning maniac. Nothing like a bit of thrill to pull Breck into her comfort zone.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to join to the high divers, aren¡¯t you?¡± I asked.

    The grin got a bit wider. ¡°After another run or two down the cliff if they don¡¯t let me do the more difficult channels. I don¡¯t want to be soaked through and stick to the ice if I get a chance at the fun stuff.¡±

    I rolled my eyes as we reached a pine¡¯s shadow. Breck and I shared a look before we stomped our heels down. The transition into the shadow paths was easier this time even without taking the time to visualize sinking into the shadow like water. Less of a stomach curdling drop and more queasy disorientation.

    I¡¯d have to keep working on it.

    For now I turned my attention on building a path to the feathered pine tree above. Focused on how the feathers hanging from it caught the sunlight, its wider proportions, every branch and root and needle in as good of detail as I could remember.

    The shadows connected and I tied them together before I strode down the new path I had made. As soon as I sensed that I had passed over the edge of the new shadow I stomped my foot down.

    Disorientation and then sunlight was blinding my eyes and I could the sounds of the tribe all around me. Blinking the glare away I realized that I was near where we had sat and watch the storm roll in. I smiled. Precision exiting was getting better too.

    After a bit of hesitation I decided to wait for Breck so she¡¯d know I was still first when it came to shadow walking. It didn¡¯t take it long and I got a nod of acknowledgment after she got her bearings.

    Ulo looked like she wanted to throw a fit when she found us back with the group, waiting to go another round, but she turned on her heel and stalked off to do something else instead. Andhi might have gone after her if she wasn¡¯t currently hurtling down the cliffside.

    I got another two rounds of flying down the water channels before the whisper women and older seedlings started to show up. I was standing near the goddess grown tree, waiting for Prevna, and silently debating if I wanted to keep going or take a break and try something else for a bit when two figures I recognized stepped from the tree¡¯s shadow.

    Clara and Shawsh.

    Who I had never seen outside of the library in the Seed Landing before.

    They caught sight of me staring and Clara huffed. ¡°What? You think you¡¯re the only one who gets to enjoy the festivities?¡±

    Shawsh smiled gently as he gestured to our surroundings. ¡°I wanted a bit of inspiration.¡±

    Clara pressed her lips together at his more helpful answer and dragged the old man away.

    Of course. Why not? Why shouldn¡¯t random people easily show up in the Rookery I had spent weeks trying to find? Next there would¡ª

    It happened again. More people I knew stepped free of the shadow and noticed me.

    Esie and her sister, Yeelan, and Kaylan, the lazy lookout. Hattie and Melka and Tasha. The entire group that had gathered on Esie¡¯s platform after the Warming Winds freed me from staying frozen.

    ¡°Little Diver!¡± Hattie sounded happy to see me.

    ¡°Oh.¡± Esie waved me over to them and, since I couldn¡¯t very well ignore the intermediary for my secretive patron, I went joined the group. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect to find you so soon. Enjoying the shoots?¡±

    I lifted the mat I was still holding slightly and nodded.

    Kaylan peered up at the sky. ¡°Just wait until you get to real flying. Sometimes I hope everything¡¯s cloudy when I need to head to an assignment, so I can ride instead of taking the shadow paths.¡±

    Esie gave Kaylan an indulgent smile. ¡°What happened to ¡®the shadow paths are the greatest way to travel¡¯?¡±

    Kaylan shrugged, a smile tugging at her own lips. ¡°They are. Quick and easy¡ªbut sometimes it¡¯s nice to let something else do all the work too.¡±

    Esie and Yeelan laughed at that while Melka and Tasha kept hovering awkwardly behind the rest. Apparently saving someone¡¯s life and being left to die by another left an impression.

    Esie glanced up at the sun to judge the time. ¡°Join us for the midday meal. It¡¯d be good to catch up.¡±

    ¡°I was¡ª¡±

    She brushed my words away. ¡°If you waiting for the lovely friend of yours she¡¯ll be welcome to join us too. We won¡¯t be too far from the tree so she should easily spot you.¡±

    More protests gathered on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back. While getting into whatever Esie wanted to talk about sounded much more unappealing than any of the activities going on around us I didn¡¯t have much of a choice. I was supposed to be a model seedling, and even if I wasn¡¯t the best at fulfilling that role, I couldn¡¯t exactly break it right in front of the person who tasked me with it.

    ¡°Let me just put this mat away first.¡±

    She nodded and pointed to a spot right along the grassy area the birds were using as a runway. ¡°We¡¯ll be right over there. Don¡¯t take too long.¡±

    I resolved to teach Prevna how to shadow walk between trees sooner rather than later. That way, next time, she¡¯d get here quicker and I wouldn¡¯t be easy prey for a handful of unpredictable people.

 Book 3 - Ch. 34: Checking In

    Esie and the others had all settled comfortably on a couple treated skins by the time I joined them. Little platters of food from the cooks were spread between them too, but they touched their waterskins more than the cupfuls of alcohol that had been brought with the food. That bit of restraint made me more wary. They certainly hadn¡¯t been restrained during the last party Esie had forced me to attend.

    The conversation flowed easily until Esie patted the spot next to her and I reluctantly followed her directions. Then Hattie¡¯s banter with Melka stuttered as Melka got distracted by my arrival and Tasha stared at me with some mixture of discomfort and regret. Hattie quickly recaptured her second-in-command¡¯s attention after she gave me a quick wave and Kaylan smoothly drew Tasha into the conversation she was having Yeelan.

    Esie handed me a flat bread wrap filled with bits of meat and cooked vegetables. I figured I needed to ask her a question before she asked me one if I wanted any chance of learning what I wanted to know. ¡°Why are you here?¡±

    She gestured loosely to the birds flying overhead. ¡°Change of pace. Hattie and Tasha were eager to get some flying in and I liked the idea of stretching my legs.¡± She nodded to the goddess grown pine tree. Two more whisper women had justed from its shadow. ¡°We aren¡¯t the only ones.¡±

    I stiffened. ¡°Then¡ª¡±

    Esie shook her head. ¡°Jin won¡¯t be coming to visit her kin. The commander sent her out on a strict assignment and, even if she finishes that up early, I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if she was sent out on another one until the next batch of Seedlings arrive and she¡¯s too busy with them to mess with you.¡±

    ¡°Why would the commander care if Jin goes after me?¡±

    Esie lifted her eyebrows slightly. ¡°I never said she did.¡±

    I opened my mouth to argue, but she continued with another enigmatic smile. ¡°Though she might have taken an interest after your showing on the shore. Still, whether or not the commander cares, it¡¯s in her best interest to keep Jin separated from you for now. Yolanda made a blood decree. If someone breaks it their whole sect will get more than a slap on the wrist.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s why no one wants to me? Not even the older seedlings?¡±

    Esie gave me that look that said what do you think? before she said, ¡°Your reputation for being violent, difficult, and unappreciative certainly doesn¡¯t help. I thought we agreed you were going to be a model of good behavior?¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°I was.¡±

    She looked amused. ¡°That¡¯s not what your Sapling leader is saying back at the Palace. She¡¯s saying that you challenged her authority on multiple occasions and are a liability waiting to happen.¡±

    Fern.

    ¡°That¡¯s not true!¡±

    She waited.

    ¡°She just didn¡¯t like me.¡±

    Esie chuckled but otherwise waited again for my next statement.

    ¡°I got results.¡± Kind of.

    Esie gave me a sidelong look before she asked, ¡°The kind that prove you¡¯re the best student ever and not likely to cause problems for whoever takes you under their wing?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t answer that, so I glowered down at the wrap in my hand.

    She waved her words away. ¡°No matter. You¡¯ll have the mentors you need here and it sounds like you¡¯ve made progress with your shadow walking. Catch me before we leave and I¡¯ll give you a few more tips.¡±

    I sat up straighter. ¡°Why not now? You¡¯re not drinking like you did before.¡±

    Esie smirked. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t do to get falling down drunk before the general populace. There¡¯s an image we have to maintain, you know.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    She silenced me with a look. Still good-natured, still smiling, but it also managed to cut me with the question if I thought this was ¡°good behavior¡±. It wasn¡¯t, so I shut up. Better not to push her when I had yet to pay back any of the favors she or her mistress had done for me.

    Instead I changed tacks. ¡°What did you mean that I¡¯ll have the mentors I need here?¡±

    Esie nodded to a nearby group of Rookery tribes people. ¡°Firestarters don¡¯t count against your restriction and the ones here happen to know all there is about flying. See more whisper women than anywhere else but the Seedling Palace too.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t too sure about learning from random tribes folk, but I didn¡¯t doubt that Tufani would whip us all into shape when it came to her birds. ¡°Will the others learn from the Tracker?¡±

    ¡°Barra? I doubt she could be bothered to get her hands dirty.¡±

    ¡°Odd choice to be surrounded by a bunch of birds then.¡±

    Esie booped me on the nose and I flinched back. ¡°Don¡¯t keep putting words in my mouth. I never said she had a choice about being assigned here.¡±

    ¡°Whisper women go where the goddess wills.¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡± Esie¡¯s voice gained an extra bit of weight on that single word, but I didn¡¯t get the chance to peer at her face or question her about it, because in the next instant her hand touched Kaylan¡¯s thigh and Kaylan dragged my attention to her as easily as she had pulled Tasha in earlier. And then Prevna arrived and Esie was gone.

    Kaylan and Hattie kept us occupied by asking about our travels and training and going down the shoots. Melka, Yeelan, and Tasha settled into their own conversation on the far side of the treated skins until Tasha announced that they were going to go flying. Hattie hurried to join them while Kaylan said she was fine where she was.

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    As soon as the others were gone, she caught Prevna¡¯s eye and gestured with her chin to where Loclen and Dera had settled by a cooking fire. ¡°Why don¡¯t you go check in with your friends? Gimley¡¯ll join you soon.¡±

    Prevna was clearly curious about why she was being dismissed, but she nodded and stood back up. ¡°Thanks for sharing your food with me.¡±

    ¡°Anytime.¡±

    And then it was just the lazy lookout and me. I eyed her. ¡°What do you want?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the question, isn¡¯t it?¡± I kept staring at her expectantly until she huffed out a laugh. ¡°Put that intense look away, girl. Not all of us are up to our necks in meddling like Esie.¡±

    ¡°Then what is it?¡± I pressed.

    ¡°Thought you might want¡ª¡± Her head cocked to the side like was listening to something as she cut herself off. With her I couldn¡¯t be sure if she was listening to a whisper on the wind or something far off in the woodlands.

    Kaylan smiled, slightly apologetic, at me. ¡°The lesson will have to wait for another time. Esie needs me.¡±

    ¡°What lesson?¡±

    She shrugged as she stood up. ¡°Just thought I¡¯d teach you a trick to not let Esie run circles around you next time you talk. I like seeing her surprised.¡±

    I stood up too. ¡°You could still tell me now.¡±

    ¡°Nah, we¡¯ll see if I remember next time. No fun to rush it.¡± She gestured to Prevna and the others. ¡°Go join your friends. Have fun! Storm knows Tufani will put you to work after this.¡±

    She strode away and I glanced down at the treated skins before deciding that they could deal with it if the spot was occupied by the time they all came back. I didn¡¯t join Prevna, Loclen, and Dera, though. My gut twisted a little to see how well Prevna got along with them. Better not to ruin more conversations with my presence.

    Instead, I wandered over to where kids were still racing down the shoots, but after watching a few rounds go down I found that it didn¡¯t seem nearly as compelling without the element of competition against the rest of the cohort. It might still be exhilarating, but I had my fill of that for the day.

    Next I eyed where Breck, Ento, Nii, and Ulo had joined the high divers, but joining that group sounded like half the recipe for a disaster. Not to mention that swimming might be one thing, but jumping off a crazy high pillar into freezing water with ice still all around? It just didn¡¯t sound smart.

    So instead of going back to the area near the cooking fires and risk Prevna spotting me, I slipped over to the goddess grown tree and stepped into the shadow paths. It took me longer than I¡¯d like to admit, but I made a path to one of the woodland pine trees. I ended up closer to the edge of the Rookery than I intended and up in the branches than on the ground, but progress was progress.

    Rather than ruin a good thing, I stayed up in the tree and let the peace and quiet soak into me. After all the recent conversations it was nice to be alone, just for a bit. To relax without having eyes on me all the time.

    Then, because there was no one around and I figured the goddess had better things to pay attention to on the first day of the cold season, I let myself run through the thirty-three poison recipes Rawley had taught me.

    They were as close to healing as I could ever get now.

    The reminder felt like a gut punch, but I forced myself to focus on the other things Rawley taught me. Hunting and trapping and fighting¡­connecting.

    Patience. Listening. Preparation. Flexibility.

    Her favorite lesson.

    After all the talk of teaching and mentors and lessons I couldn¡¯t help but think of it. I couldn¡¯t say I¡¯d been earning top marks on any of them recently. Not altogether. I could have been more patient and listened better when it came to the festerlings. Could have been better prepared when it came to rescuing Juniper and getting stuck on the statue. Could have been better at all of them when it came to Prevna pushing me to include the group.

    Not that I could bring myself to share everything I learned about shadow walking still.

    I sighed and leaned back against the tree trunk as her saying rose up from the back of my mind.

    Ambition is nothing without discipline.

    It was still as true as it ever was, but neither saying really helped with the new problem I found myself with: more and more people kept pushing to get closer, to know me, to get me to care.

    Prevna had already forced her way in, of course, but now it sounded like Juniper wanted to learn from me, which meant Idra and Ento would always be hovering close by. Wren had seen more than she should during the trip to the Rookery and Breck kept looking at me more with that gleam in her eyes. That was to say nothing of Dera¡¯s small bits of kindness and Loclen¡¯s one-sided rivalry and Nii¡¯s questions about my blessing.

    It was too much.

    Really, the only ones I could count on to keep things simple were Andhi and Ulo given our mutual dislike. And if that went too far between me and Ulo it could give Jin and Yule what they needed to press their grudge against me.

    Things had been so simple before when all I needed to know was that the tribe feared and hated me, my siblings thought they were better than me, and no one was ever going to help me against her.

    I didn¡¯t know how to bring things back to that simplicity. Didn¡¯t know if I really wanted to return to it.

    But now I had to think about whisper women and guess at their motivations and connections and hope I didn¡¯t press too hard in the wrong moment and ruin my chances at becoming one of the Chosen. I had to constantly deal with people wanting things and asking things and caring.

    If it had been before I would have just cut them all down with my words and been done with it. It had worked well enough for years. But now I knew that Fellen and Rawley and Prevna would disapprove. Now I had superiors expecting me to get along with everyone else. Needing me to work with a group.

    And that could be good, like when Breck and I worked together to get off the statue or when we all drank the shadows. All the times Prevna had helped me couldn¡¯t be dismissed either, but I doubted I could become all easy smiles like Esie or a confident chatterbox like Hattie.

    Nor did I really want to change completely. I was what I was and others should have to deal it just like I had to deal with them.

    Which left me where?

    Up a tree in a snowy, cold woodland while everyone else enjoyed themselves and got along and blissfully enjoyed the holiday without being accosted by people who meant well.

    I sighed again.

    By the time I returned to cooking fires in the Rookery¡ªhaving solved nothing¡ªall of Esie¡¯s group had already gone and she was preparing to leave. Which meant she was down to the last few bites of a wrap and keeping an eye out for seedlings she wanted to talk to.

    I had barely taken a step out from under the feathered pine tree when she spotted me and hurried over.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t leave much time for your lesson,¡± Esie scolded lightly.

    My lips pressed together. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure you were actually going to teach me.¡±

    She snorted, but gestured for me to keep talking. ¡°Tell me about you make your paths between the shadows.¡±

    I told her how I visualized the trees in detail and practiced entering the shadows different ways.

    Esie took it all in before she nodded. ¡°Good. You¡¯re on the right track. My patron¡±¡ªhere she winked¡ª¡°wants you to remember that the trees aren¡¯t the most important thing to pay attention to. After all, you¡¯re making a path between their shadows. You¡¯re on the right track with picturing the shadows in different ways, like a pool of water, so keep practicing with that. But if you want to get good at traveling far away you¡¯ll need to let go of picturing a specific tree and instead¡­focus your intentions and trust the blessing. The visualization you¡¯re doing helps with that, but you have to let go of the idea that you need to already know what the place you¡¯re going to looks like.¡±

    Questions wanted to burst from my tongue, but she clapped me on the shoulder, stepped into the shadow, and said, ¡°Like this!¡±

    And then she was gone.

 Book 3 - Ch. 35: Building Character

    Just like Kaylan predicted, Tufani started our training in full force the next morning. She didn¡¯t care one whit that most of us had stayed up late the night before celebrating and that the sun was barely peeking over the horizon when she rapped her cane against the front of the hut we had been given.

    She kept it up until the entire cohort had stumbled out of the hut, bleary-eyed and barely put together. Loclen looked more than a bit murderous at having her sleep interrupted but she kept whatever retort she wanted to make to herself after being confronted with Tufani¡¯s implacable face.

    I would have been in better shape, given that I was used to rising early, but Prevna had been determined to pull me into the festivities when she spotted me just after Esie left. She hadn¡¯t missed the fact that I hadn¡¯t joined her as quick as Kaylan said I would and, while she didn¡¯t press me very hard when she asked what I had been up to, I don¡¯t think she was satisfied with my vague answer of ¡°being in the woods¡±. I could have said more but there had always been others around and I didn¡¯t want to sour the mood more than I usually did.

    Spilling my guts about the odd way they twisted with envy and isolation when I saw Prevna easily fitting in with the others or the quiet panic as more and more people attached themselves to me hadn¡¯t exactly had a favorable wind. Instead I took the simpler route of eating a stomach bursting amount of food, talking with Prevna when she focused on me, and keeping to myself the rest of time.

    By all rights Tufani should have been as exhausted as us given how long she had been up making the rounds between her tribe and her birds, but she was as put together and no nonsense as when we first met her.

    She thumped her cane against the ground. ¡°I will expect you to be up and making your way to my hut at this time from now on.¡± Loclen groaned and Tufani¡¯s gaze cut to her as she continued her lecture. ¡°You will not be allowed to use your boon. You will run all the way to the cliff, up the cliff, and to my door. Take too long and you will miss breakfast. Cheat and everyone will have to run around the upper lake, down the cliff, around the lower lake, and back up.¡± My eyes went wide. That would take forever, if I even had the stamina for it. ¡°Are we clear?¡±

    Everyone was clear.

    ¡°Questions?¡±

    Idra lifted her chin. ¡°Why the focus on running? It¡¯s not like we¡¯ll need to run when we¡¯re flying.¡±

    ¡°It builds character.¡±

    ¡°Why should we all be punished if one person decides to be selfish and lazy?¡± That was Ulo as her eyes drilled into the back of my head.

    ¡°It builds character.¡±

    No one had any questions after that.

    Tufani gestured toward the cliff and we started running. Breck quickly took point with Ulo and Ento steps behind her. I lagged behind with Dera, Juniper, Wren, Loclen, and Prevna. Prevna and Loclen could have joined the middle pack with their longer legs, possibly Wren too, but Prevna seemed to want to stick with me and, between my short legs and the cliff looming in front of us, I wasn¡¯t keen on sprinting. Loclen didn¡¯t seem all that eager to push herself either given her sheer amount of yawns and the glower on her face. Wren said she was more used to riding elk than running, but she also kept close to Dera.

    Running up the cliff was its own kind torture. My stamina might have increased since I was stuck in a tent day after day, but that didn¡¯t much when I still wasn¡¯t as used to long distance running as I should be. And it felt like the switchbacks had multiplied overnight.

    By the time we got up to the top I think I was going slower than if I had just walked up the thing. Prevna gave my shoulder an encouraging pat, too out of breath to say anything, and kept running for the Tamer¡¯s hut. The long grass looked very inviting and soft, but I didn¡¯t want to be the only one to not make it, so I followed in her footsteps. Even Dera was puffing along a little ahead of me.

    The front group already had cakes made out of pounded roots and dried berries in hand, sprawled out around the Tamer¡¯s hut, by the time we arrived out of breath and sore. Tufani handed each of us a cake as well though judging by the sun¡¯s position we should have been too late to break our fast.

    Dera stared at Tufani as she accepted her food. ¡°How did you get here before us?¡±

    Tufani smiled wryly. ¡°You don¡¯t think an old woman with a bad leg could pick up root cakes and beat you here?¡± Dera flushed and looked away. ¡°Well, you¡¯re right! Don¡¯t forget you¡¯re not the only ones with black lips here.¡±

    Which meant Barra had brought her through the shadow paths.

    For some reason Dera looked even more flustered at the reminder and she shuffled off to nimble on her cake in silence. Once all the cakes had been handed out and everyone had found a spot to recover from the run, Tufani made her next announcement.

    ¡°Tomorrow I will expect you all to get here sooner. The next day even quicker and so on until we find your limit. Even by a handful of minutes is fine¡ªI don¡¯t expect you to be like Egeli and out pace the rabbit in a day. For now eat, rest, and then we will work on your upper body strength next. You can¡¯t fly if you can¡¯t stay on the bird¡¯s back.¡±

    Ulo tried to make a derisive comment about my speed as soon as Tufani disappeared into her hut, but I ignored her and Andhi was quick to distract her from her ire with a question about her spearwork. I think it was less of her coming to my rescue and more that she didn¡¯t want to get in trouble for a fight. Tufani could still easily hear us if we got loud.

    I took the time to set up my first shadow walking practice with Juniper, Prevna, and Breck that evening. Prevna still clearly didn¡¯t like that she had to keep whatever she learned to herself, but she didn¡¯t press me about it again in front of the others. Idra and Ento also clearly didn¡¯t like the idea of Juniper going off on her own, but they were mollified by the reminder that they could watch from afar.

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    The upper body training was just as exhausting as the run to Tufani¡¯s hut. First, she took us through some of the stretching and strengthening exercises that Rawley had taught me back at Gabbler Shore. After that came the planks, push ups, pull ups, dead hangs, and half a dozen other exercises design to help strength our arms, core, and grips.

    Then we went down the beginner shoots, though it was less exhilarating and more terrifying to slide down them when my body didn¡¯t want to properly listen to me. Tufani said we needed to get used to the quick changes of direction and speed that the birds could do in the air as well as learn how to properly shift our weight and lean into a turn. On our return trips back up to the top of the cliff we were given baskets of supplies for the birds and their caretakers.

    I started to hate the cliff switchbacks and the idiocy of separating the tribe from where the birds nested. Even if having them closer might mean that a bird might land in the wrong place and put a foot through a roof.

    After the shoots came learning about the birds¡¯ equipment, which mainly meant the saddle and any travel supplies we might have. The storm birds were largely self-sufficient when it came to feeding and cleaning themselves, so we wouldn¡¯t have to provide that on a journey. Still, getting to touch the large leather saddle was fascinating in itself. The design was simple like I first thought: two long wooden handles wrapped in leather and fastened to the main part of the saddle. There wasn¡¯t any extra padding where we would lay between the handles, so long trips probably wouldn¡¯t be the most comfortable. The ladder to get up and the ties that would help hold us in place also tied to the handles. The saddle could have fit around two or three reindeer depending on how long you let the straps be.

    Tufani¡¯s exacting, no nonsense attitude came out more on that lesson though she also told a couple of tales, one cautionary about a whisper woman who didn¡¯t tie her saddle properly, and one amusing about a tribe member who got a little too full of herself.

    We had to learn how to care for the saddle, how to secure it, and properly repair it in case of emergency. How to quickly and securely tie and untie the various knots that would hold it, and us, in place. Tufani expected us to get to the point where we could tie ourselves back in place with one hand without looking while in the air just in case a tie came loose while we were flying.

    She was more of a teacher than Jin ever could be. She asked for questions and would honestly answer them even if we didn¡¯t always appreciate those answers. She explained her expectations and how to do what we were expected to learn. If someone struggled she would put the lesson in different terms for them or work with them one on one. The Tamer didn¡¯t have Rawley¡¯s patience¡ªthough I doubted many did¡ªbut she did have her passion for making sure we knew what she wanted to teach us.

    After the midday meal, it was time for chores, which meant helping the Rookery with a variety of bird related chores. That included everything from shoveling poop and cleaning nests to repairing equipment, gathering up the birds¡¯ favorite treats, and generally helping whichever tribe member who was in charge of the area we were assigned to. That was also when we got to get to know the birds and their behavior and personalities. Naturally, all the birds immediately began to love Wren. Chirp quickly got jealous and gathered enough courage to cheep at them. From what I could tell that got a range of reactions from dismissal to amusement to thinking he looked like a tasty snack. Wren kept him safe and told the birds in no uncertain terms that if anything happened to Chirp they would regret it.

    In the couple hours before the evening meal we had whisper women training that rotated depending on the day. Sometimes it was weapons training, other times it was time to work on shadow walking or our writing and reading or strategy and critical thinking skills. Tufani grumbled about it, but she said that she couldn¡¯t send us off with all of our skills forgotten and disused. Barra was nominally in charge of those training sessions, but she let us split off and train where we wanted. I sincerely doubted that the whole cohort was practicing what we were supposed to the entire time, but I wasn¡¯t about to round everyone up and teach them the eighty six basic characters.

    The groups during those times fluctuated. The core groups that we had from our time in the Seed Landing were still there, but sometimes the others would gravitate to those they had journeyed through the woodland with or that they thought would help them with a certain skill.

    By the end of that first day everyone was exhausted and more than ready to go to sleep early, but everyone in my shadow walking training group still dragged themselves to their feet after the evening meal. I led them over to the tree line. We were on the lower level of the Rookery and I had no desire to hike back up the cliff. Besides, I figured it¡¯d be easier for them to practice traveling to the goddess grown tree than some other random one in the woodland.

    Loclen, Wren, and Dera had caught wind of what we were up to, so they joined Ento and Idra in watching us at a distance. A sliver of guilt twisted behind my ribs at keeping Wren and Dera in the dark, but I knew that if I included more people than the three I named, Prevna would push to get the whole group included again. They could ask Barra, and, besides, Wren had gotten the same lesson from Fern as I had. She, or someone else from my group, could teach the others.

    Juniper, Prevna, and Breck stood in front of me as the shadows crept longer along the ground. I didn¡¯t have much faith in my teaching abilities, so for Prevna I borrowed what Fern had told us about needing to make our paths and her to practicing. For Breck I knew that she could already walk between the shadows, so I asked her what she wanted to focus on. She said her speed, for now, so I told her about how I visualized the shadows in different ways and that had helped me transition in and out of the shadows smoother and quicker. Breck started on her practice and then it was Juniper¡¯s turn.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Why do you think you have trouble with shadow walking?¡±

    Her lips twisted. ¡°It doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±

    ¡°You have to make it make sense. You make the path, that¡¯s the whole point.¡±

    Juniper gestured to the shadow under our feet, short, swift, and angry. ¡°I try to find the shadow, but there¡¯s never anything there except for the one I came through. How am I supposed to make a path to nothing?¡±

    I held in a frustrated sigh and decided to try a different approach. ¡°When you enter a shadow what does it feel like? Entering a tent, slipping under water, unraveling a knot?¡±

    ¡°Falling down a hole.¡±

    ¡°Fine. Make that hole into a tunnel and place the other opening in the shadow you want to exit from.¡±

    I doubted it would work, but I needed to offer her something. I hadn¡¯t like the feeling of falling when I entered the shadow paths, but I didn¡¯t want to take the one concrete thing Juniper had from her. Maybe picturing her path like would go along with the new bit of advice that Esie had given me. I still wasn¡¯t quite sure how to wrap my mind around it. Picturing a place without actually picturing it? Trust the blessing?

    I wasn¡¯t sure either was possible, but I doubted Esie would purposefully give me bad advice.

    Juniper obviously doubted my idea, but she went along with it anyway. I watched her close her eyes and I was tempted to interrupt and tell her do the visualization once she was in the shadow, but curiosity won out. Maybe you could craft your path before you even stepped into the shadow. That would certainly speed up how long it took to go through.

    Five minutes turned into nearly ten and I was tempted to start my own practice even as I was impressed by Juniper¡¯s focus. Then she disappeared into the shadow and a handful of seconds later I heard a scream coming from the feathered tree.

    I closed my eyes for a brief moment.

    Not again.

 Book 3 - Ch. 36: Junipers Plight

    ¡°I just kept falling!¡±

    Juniper was more than a little bit put out by her quick trip through the shadow paths. It wasn¡¯t the first time she had said that and I was starting to doubt it¡¯d be the last. Barra nodded again without giving away any annoyance or boredom or exasperation at being brought back to the same point for the fourth time.

    I hated that I couldn¡¯t read her. It wasn¡¯t like this was the first time I had been confronted with someone who hid their intentions or emotions, everyone did that to an extent, but normally through their words or actions I could glean something. I could pick out if they were being genuine or not from years of watching others.

    Barra¡¯s polite smile had an even chance of being real as fake or a forgotten quirk of her lips and I could not tell.

    I didn¡¯t want to spend more time in her presence than I had to, in case Barra learned something about me that I didn¡¯t want her to know, without any way for me to spot the threat, but she had arrived at the feathered tree before me after hearing Juniper scream. And I couldn¡¯t exactly leave when my lesson was the cause of Juniper¡¯s wide eyed fear and stress. Especially not if there was a chance I¡¯d be labeled as even more of a troublemaker for making another seedling scared of one of the goddess¡¯s boons without me there to defend myself.

    No one else was here yet. Breck and Prevna had been deaf to Juniper¡¯s scream since they were in the shadow paths and those that were watching the lesson were charging up the cliff as quick as they could to reach the tree. Either Wren had forgotten that she could step through the shadows too, to reach us faster, and got caught up in the others¡¯ momentum or she didn¡¯t think she had the focus for it. I was impressed they still had the energy to sprint after all the running we had already done throughout the day.

    I tried to signal and call down to them that Juniper was fine, that they could slow down, but all I managed to get in return was a twin nasty look from Idra and Ento. It seemed like Nii, Andhi, and Ulo hadn¡¯t heard the scream from wherever they were, figured someone else was taking care of it, or were taking the long route here like the others.

    ¡°I stepped into the shadows but I didn¡¯t¡­stop like normal.¡± Juniper¡¯s hands clenched together. ¡°I hate falling.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t ever really pleasant, I could give her that.

    Instead of simply nodding along with Juniper¡¯s rambling rant again, Barra gently broke into the one sided conversation. ¡°It seems you¡¯ve stumbled onto a bit of an¡­advanced technique.¡± Juniper brightened at that omission. ¡°Not everyone can form a path before they step into the shadows, but we generally hold off on trying to teach it until a seedling has shown an aptitude for¡­controlling their entrances and exits, for reasons you¡¯ve experienced. Better to walk through than accidentally crack your head open on an unexpected branch or rock.¡±

    I barely kept from glowering at Barra. Juniper was fine. I had already checked her over as best as I could from a short distance, so she and the whisper woman wouldn¡¯t get suspicious, and there wasn¡¯t a speck of blood or mind fog or any other warning sign to be seen. She had the wind knocked out of her from hitting the ground, but that was it. I doubted there¡¯d even be a bruise to mark her harrowing experience.

    Juniper straightened, a bit of the defeated look leaving her. ¡°I can do an advanced technique?¡±

    ¡°It works best and easiest over short distances with another tree or shadow that you can see, and, of course, the deeper black and bigger the shadow the easier it is to do. Some don¡¯t think it¡¯s worth the effort to learn since the skilled shadow walkers can establish the same kind of path in a second or less once they are in the shadow paths¡ªwith typically better accuracy. Still, there is one prodigy that can do it over longer distances with seemingly little to no effect on her accuracy when she wants to.¡±

    If Barra was trying to cheer up Juniper she was failing miserably. I watched as Juniper¡¯s hope about completing an ¡®advanced technique¡¯ so early into gaining the boon, however poorly, diminished with every sentence until it became that she had done a ¡®pointlessly difficult technique¡¯ poorly.

    Still, I placed the information away in a corner of my mind with the determination to master the technique. I didn¡¯t need three guesses to know that the prodigy had to be Hana and I still wanted to show her up on the one skill she had to her name.

    Juniper focused on something else Barra had said. ¡°How can I improve entering and exiting the shadow paths?¡±

    Barra shifted and delicate clinks filled the air as various bits of glass bumped against each other. Really, it was a bit of a wonder that we hadn¡¯t heard her before we saw her when we first met in the hut.

    ¡°My mentor would have me enter the shadow on the trunk of the tree like I was entering a tent. It helped to have an action to match what I was supposed to imagine. Perhaps that is why so many seedlings say they feel like they are falling when they first learn how to shadow walk. The common practice of breaking the shadow with your heel must make it easier to picture the ground crumbling out from under your feet.¡±

    The flaws with entering the shadowed trunk seemed obvious to me, but Juniper excitedly took to trying something new. Never mind that there wouldn¡¯t be a tree trunk for her to mime with in the shadow paths and the shadow on the trunk of the tree might be harder to reach and enter, if the sun¡¯s angle made it into a narrow strip. But, perhaps, it¡¯d help her visualization and ability to use the shadows on branches in the future.

    Nor did I like how desperate Juniper seemed to be getting about improving her skill with the shadows. She was supposed to be more collected than that.

    Perhaps Barra¡¯s advice, however limiting it might be, could help her get the basics down. Juniper stepped in and out of the feathered tree¡¯s shadow several times using Barra¡¯s trick before giving me a look that said this was the sort of advice I should have been giving her¡ªcompletely ignoring the fact that she was traveling through the same shadow and she had wanted to make a path between different ones. There hadn¡¯t been any discussion of improving her ability to enter and exit the shadow. She still had some trouble when it came to exiting too, that it still felt like falling upwards, but she liked that she wasn¡¯t falling all the time.

    Then she entered the shadow again and minutes passed as the sun got lower and lower. I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut and the fact that Barra had encouraged her to try to leave from a different shadow. Surely, this time couldn¡¯t go as terribly as the other two? Surely, no one could be that bad with a boon from the goddess?

    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    Juniper still hadn¡¯t returned or come into view elsewhere in the Rookery by the time Idra and Ento thundered over to us, out of breath and irritated.

    Ento drew in on a long breath as she took in the scene before she focused on Barra. ¡°Where¡¯s Juniper?¡±

    At the same time, Idra took out her ire on me. ¡°This is your fault! I knew we shouldn¡¯t have trusted you!¡±

    I dodged the punch she aimed at my chest and then dodged again when she tried to trip me. Ento got between us. ¡°Not now.¡±

    ¡°But she¡ª¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t have the pearl. Does fighting her help protect Juniper?¡±

    ¡°It could,¡± Idra grumbled, glaring at me over Ento¡¯s shoulder, but she didn¡¯t try to take another swing.

    Ento turned back to Barra. ¡°Can you track her?¡±

    ¡°No one can track someone in the shadow paths and I can only track my bits of glass. She doesn¡¯t have one, so she¡¯s as lost to me as the rest of you.¡±

    Ento¡¯s jaw clenched. ¡°So Juniper could be anywhere if she traveled through another shadow?¡±

    Barra tilted her head slightly to the side. ¡°I doubt she has the range and skill to go very far. If you want to look for her, go to the deepest shadows you can sense in your range and she¡¯ll likely be there¡ªif she hasn¡¯t stepped into the shadow paths again.¡±

    I moved to go look for Juniper, better that than continue to stay at the tree with Barra, but Idra cut me off. ¡°No. We don¡¯t need your help.¡±

    I stopped. Not willing to get into another fight so quick after the last one, especially in front of a whisper woman.

    Ento and Idra ran off and soon after that Barra left too. Thankfully. I could have gone after Juniper too, despite what Idra said, but I figured someone should stay at the tree in case she showed back up here, and Wren and Dera still needed to be filled in on what was happening.

    I saw Breck before the other two. Apparently, she had picked up on the fact that something was going on and that Juniper and I didn¡¯t just happened to be in the shadows whenever she left the shadow paths. I filled her in and then filled in Wren and Dera once they puffed their way over to the tree.

    Dera volunteered to stay and watch the tree while Wren caught her breath and then strode off with Breck to do what they could to help. There weren¡¯t any small birds she could ask if they had seen anything, but Wren was determined to check with the storm birds in case they had spotted anything. Breck had wanted to practice her shadow walking and search for Juniper in one go, but we managed to convince her that we shouldn¡¯t risk another person going missing right now.

    Two people didn¡¯t need to watch the tree, but I wasn¡¯t sure if I wanted to risk another fight with Idra. And I realized that I had forgotten to make sure everyone had a signal, so that we knew Juniper had been found and everyone didn¡¯t keep running around for no reason. It made me wish talking on the winds was our next boon instead of boring dark sight.

    I walked over to the edge of the cliff to see if Prevna was out of the shadow paths yet. Twilight would be coming soon and if she didn¡¯t leave the shadows before then, she wouldn¡¯t have a shadow to exit from, except from the goddess grown tree, until the moon rose high enough to bring back the shadows. Given that she hadn¡¯t appeared yet it seemed like she was having trouble making the path between shadows.

    Looking over the bottom half of the Rookery I saw a figure making her way up the switchback path. It was hard to be sure with the cliff blocking what remained of the light, but in the gloom I thought it was Prevna. It helped too that the figure waved and I doubted that anyone else would wave at me. I gestured for her to hurry up and made my way back over to the tree and Dera.

    She was fiddling with a bit of bone and I let her be, though I wasn¡¯t sure if she could see well enough to make anything detailed. Still, seeing the bone shift under her fingers like it was wet clay was odd enough without being able to tell what she was trying to make.

    Dera jumped a little as I settled nearby and the grass crunched under my weight. She rolled the bone back and forth between her hands before chancing to look up at me. ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t coming back.¡±

    ¡°Waiting on Prevna.¡±

    She nodded, a quick dip of her head, and kept fiddling with the bone. Like she couldn¡¯t decide if she was allowed to go back to what she had been doing now that I was there.

    ¡°You can keep practicing.¡± Better that than awkward conversation.

    She nodded again, but, rather than continue to shape bone, Dera tucked the bit in her hands away and shifted to face me more full on. Like she had come to an unwelcome decision.

    ¡°Did you want to become a whisper woman?¡± Dera asked. Soft, barely above a whisper.

    I cleared my throat. ¡°Didn¡¯t have much of a choice.¡±

    She fidgeted, but didn¡¯t take her question back as she waited for a real answer. The knowledge that Prevna was getting closer, that she¡¯d want me to answer honestly, fully, pressed at my back, but that wasn¡¯t enough to get me to open up. Not to someone I didn¡¯t trust yet. Her nerves, though, which should have been annoying and the memory of her crying, worrying, caring¡ªjust a little bit¡ªthat got me to be honest.

    Just one word.

    In that moment, I didn¡¯t want to hurt anyone else who managed to care. My fingers found the poisoner¡¯s pouch with the felt leaf.

    ¡°No.¡± I forced my hand away from the pouch. ¡°You?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    That surprised me. ¡°Why not?¡±

    She shifted, and sounded somewhere between wistful and sad. ¡°I thought it¡¯d be amazing when I was younger, with all their power and cool abilities, but then I realized I¡¯d be separated from everything I knew. That I wouldn¡¯t be able to go home¡­and that was terrifying.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Leaving home was one of the good things to me.¡±

    Once I had cut off my healer¡¯s beads and ruined that path forever. Sure, not seeing Rawley or Fellen wasn¡¯t ideal, especially with no way to repair the damage I had done. But being able to walk around and not have every step be a chance at running into her or the twins or Father was a clear relief. To walk around and not have everyone immediately see Gimlea.

    Dera sounded confused. ¡°You don¡¯t miss it?¡±

    ¡°I have what I need.¡±

    Dera lapsed into silence after that and I didn¡¯t make any attempt to bring the conversation to life again. The moon started to rise high enough that we could see easier in the dark, but it wasn¡¯t quite good enough to make deep shadows that weren¡¯t stretched thin by the time Prevna found us.

    ¡°Good, it was you.¡± Prevna smiled at me. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure if I was waving to Miyan or some random tribe member. Where did everyone go?¡±

    I glared at her for the quip before filling her in on the situation. She wanted to go right away to help, but I was still leery of coming across Idra and Ento again. So, instead, Dera went with her to help search, now that she was rested up from her run up the cliff, and I stayed to keep an eye on the tree.

    It took another hour or so for the search parties to find Juniper and even longer for everyone to trickle their way back and check up on her status. Apparently, she had ended up out in the woodland, but not far from the Rookery. Then, instead of walking back, she tried to shadow walk back and got stuck in the shadow paths when twilight fell and took the shadows. Since she wasn¡¯t able to leave out of the shadow she entered Juniper kept trying to make a path to the feathered tree, but she had lost one shadow and couldn¡¯t ¡°find¡± the other one. I wasn¡¯t sure if you could make a path with only one shadow once you were in the shadow paths, and I made a mental note to possibly look into that in the future or not get caught in circumstances where it might be a problem.

    Ento found her once the moonlight brought the shadows back and she was able to escape the shadow paths. Juniper didn¡¯t like having anything to do with shadow walking near twilight after that.

    Rather than go down to the hut we had been given when it was already late again and have to run back up the cliff at dawn, I took it upon myself to settle in an abandoned nest near the Tamer¡¯s hut. Tufani was less than amused when she found me in the morning and made sure that next time I ¡°cheated¡± she wouldn¡¯t let it slide.

    ¡°Nests are for birds and bedrolls are for sleeping. Or what would you have me do if you woke up with a storm bird on top of you?¡±

    I could tell ¡°get it off of me¡± wasn¡¯t the acceptable answer, so I promised to sleep in my bedroll from now on. She gave me a look that said moving my bedroll to the top of the cliff to get out of running wasn¡¯t an acceptable answer either.

    I decided not to push my luck.

 Book 3 - Ch. 37: Transitions

    Things settled down into a routine again, much like they had in the lead up to the Dark Night celebrations the year before. Only instead of Rawley trying to cram years worth of huntress training into my head in only two months, now I had Tufani drilling every tiny fact about storm birds and flying that she could think of into our heads¡ªand she had the full four months to do it.

    She also made Barra give everyone in the cohort a glass piece, so that they couldn¡¯t loose another Sprout while we were at the Rookery. Barra grudgingly slipped different glass bits from her hair and clothes with a look that said we¡¯d pay if we lost ours.

    After the first week of training we were allowed to move from the beginner shoots to the intermediate ones. They were steeper and had quicker turns than the ones we started with¡ªand the gaps between the slides were smaller so it was more likely to hit our head or feet on something if we weren¡¯t paying attention.

    We learned that lesson well on the first day Tufani started us on the intermediate slides. Dera didn¡¯t react quick enough after rounding a turn and hit her head on a shoot that barely passed over the one she was in. Then she got more bumped and bruised during her uncontrolled descent down the shoot.

    Those of us on the top of the cliff weren¡¯t able to do much of anything but strain to see down below and speculate, but luckily the Rookery Tribe had a healer that had been keeping an eye on us and he came running quickly. I hated that I couldn¡¯t help. Dera got patched up quickly though she wasn¡¯t allowed back on the shoots for a handful of days and could only do the lighter exercises and tasks we were assigned. From her expression, Dera didn¡¯t want to slide down the shoots ever again, but I doubted she had a choice.

    From what I could see of her bandages, the healer was competent, but I did my best to learn as little about him as possible. It was bad enough noticing that he was more tolerated than I had ever been, even if it wasn¡¯t to extent of the black handed healers in the Seedling Palace.

    Wren stuck close to Dera as she recovered. I did my best to ignore that annoyance too. I knew I didn¡¯t have any kind of claim on Wren¡¯s company, especially when I pushed her away whenever she tried to be nice. Dera deserved someone doting on her.

    Still, somehow, knowing that made seeing them together sting even more.

    When Wren got pulled away by Tufani to have ¡°specialized training¡±¡ªwhich seemed more like Tufani taking advantage of Wren¡¯s blessing¡ªit was interesting to see who drifted into the void by Dera¡¯s side. Loclen was the most frequent, but, occasionally, Ento and Idra would get there before she could. Dera seemed flustered by all the attention. More than once I caught her glancing into the distance at a spot that looked quiet and peaceful.

    For the briefest moment, I found myself debating if I should help her escape before I remembered myself and stopped. That was a dangerous line of thinking. I didn¡¯t need to get involved and things would likely calm back down after she fully healed.

    Juniper kept coming to me for instruction, though she became more focused on my strategy practice scenarios rather than shadow walking. Apparently, because her abysmal talent with the blessing had been shoved in front of Barra¡¯s face, the whisper woman had begun trying to training her. The others who hadn¡¯t gotten the benefit of Fern¡¯s brief speech or wanted more instruction were allowed to join as well, but from what Prevna said the focus was mainly on getting Juniper competent.

    Which meant, thankfully, my time teaching about shadow walking was short lived and it died after that first lesson. Prevna didn¡¯t even press me for the hints and tricks she had been so insistent I share with group before. But, then again, whatever hints or tricks I knew were probably being outshone by Barra. Still, I didn¡¯t press Prevna for what they were learning from the whisper woman in return.

    I had the advice Esie had given me and my own experiments with shadow walking to figure out. So when they all gathered around the feathered tree to practice with Barra, I picked a random pine tree on the Rookery¡¯s edge. I didn¡¯t have a handle on what Esie meant yet, but my transitions in and out of the shadow paths were getting smoother, quicker, and more precise as I practiced visualizing where I wanted to go. If I wanted to step out on a branch, I stepped out on a branch or I wanted to rise out of the ground I did that. Picking exactly which branch or what side of the shadow I left from was still beyond me, but I knew better than to expect to be on Hana¡¯s, or even Mishtaw¡¯s, level overnight.

    So we trained and practiced, and Tufani started Dera back on the beginner shoots again before moving her back to practicing with the rest of us. From what I could tell her injury and symptoms were all healing well.

    Ulo kept pushing herself to be the best even in areas it was clear she couldn¡¯t win. Breck still held the edge over her when it came to weapons skill and physical conditioning, no one was likely to make the birds love them more than Wren between her blessing and personality, and as far as I could tell she wasn¡¯t leading the pack when it came to skill with the shadow walking. The only areas she really had room to compete in was who could remember all Tufani¡¯s bird facts the best and who took care of their equipment the best. It wasn¡¯t particularly hard to do either even if it could be a bit tedious.

    And I couldn¡¯t help but antagonize her. Just a little. We didn¡¯t break out into any true fights like we had on our way to the Rookery between Tufani¡¯s strict gaze and the amount of space we could put between us in between lessons, but I caught her giving me the death glare more than once from across the hut before we went to sleep.

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    Weeks passed.

    A snowstorm rolled in.

    Training stopped. The Rookery tribe got their herds protected as best they could and then hunkered down in their huts. The storm birds were trusted to hold their own. The cohort got snowed in together in our own hut. All twelve of us and practically no privacy for as long as the storm raged.

    The single lucky thing about the situation was that the storm arrived in the evening, so we were able to sleep through the first long hours easily enough, though we quickly set up shifts for who was on fire duty. Not that we knew that much about tending to a fire other than to feed it fuel if it ran low. The fire starters could just snap their fingers if their fires ran low¡ªand if they did any more than that I hadn¡¯t paid attention.

    It was difficult to keep track of time in the hut, so having strict shifts quickly changed into something else. We had to rely on the routine our bodies were used to and guess based on that. So when everyone generally felt hungry after we woke up we assumed it was time to break our fast and did the same for the other meals throughout the day. Shifts to watch the fire got strung out between those benchmarks unless one of the other girls decided you had been staring at the fire for long enough and offered to take your place. At night there were two shifts of two people got to watch the fire at the same time in case the other person fell asleep.

    In other words, it became a favorites game. Wren and Dera hardly had to watch the fire for more than an hour even when they insisted they could keep watching it. No one tried to argue with Breck when she told them it was their turn to watch the fire and I got stuck watching the fire most often when everyone else was asleep. Prevna stayed up with me too, but that only meant that I didn¡¯t have anyone I could switch with.

    I didn¡¯t entirely resent staying up since it was the only time the hut was quiet, but I did resent knowing that we definitely had one of the longest shifts. The first night shift switched between groups and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if it got split into more than one shift, because sometimes the person who woke Prevna and me up hadn¡¯t belonged to the first shift.

    It wasn¡¯t fun and it wasn¡¯t fair, but it was doable until Ulo decided to poke her fingers where they didn¡¯t belong. I had been minding my own business, sitting on my bedroll near the door flap and trying to keep the memories at bay, while she was on fire duty and had, apparently, decided she needed to stoke the imaginary flames as well as the real ones.

    ¡°You think you¡¯re so much better than us.¡±

    It took me several moments to realize she was talking at me. I just blinked at her and waited for the rest of what she had to say to fall out of her mouth. Better to know what I had to work with, so I could cut her best. Between being cooped up in the hut with eleven other people for at least two days, boredom, and sheer dislike I wasn¡¯t in the mood to shrug off whatever she had to say.

    Ulo kept running her mouth as she stared me down and everyone else quieted down to watch. ¡°You walk around like you¡¯re so much better than us, but you¡¯re life ridden and there¡¯s rumors you healed someone. You don¡¯t try during training and it seems like everyone just forgot that you punched a whisper woman! I don¡¯t care that you killed the water snake or that you have that mark on your chin! You might have it easy because you don¡¯t have to worry about anything killing you, but you¡¯re wrong and you don¡¯t deserve to be here!¡±

    I blinked again, shocked at how many directions I could take the argument. At the sheer misconception that I had nothing to fear. At the idea that Ulo might be jealous about anything that had to do with me. But then again¡­

    I drew my prayer needle out as I stood up. Then I slipped on a smug expression as I pricked a finger and drew the blood over the dots on my chin. ¡°Thanks for paying so much attention to my accomplishments. Perhaps if you want some of that recognition you could follow in my footsteps.¡±

    Ulo flushed with anger. ¡°I don¡¯t¡ª¡±

    ¡°Be honest for once.¡± I waved a dismissive hand. ¡°You¡¯re jealous there¡¯s already so many stories about me, aren¡¯t you? Thought you¡¯d be the star of our cohort just like you were back in your tribe?¡±

    ¡°Gimley,¡± Wren warned.

    I was a little surprised it was her and not Prevna, but when I glanced to the side Prevna was busy glaring at Wren.

    ¡°Perhaps you should be warning Ulo. She¡¯s the one that started it,¡± Prevna snapped.

    Wren started to reply, but Ulo stood up and cut in to keep the argument going, ¡°You think you¡¯re so¡­so clever, don¡¯t you? That you can get away with anything and we¡¯ll all just go along with it? I¡¯ll never¡­¡±

    Mother stood by the small fire in the healer¡¯s tent, giving me her favorite look of disappointment. ¡°Why can¡¯t you learn to be smart rather than clever?¡±

    I closed my eyes and shook my head, knowing that was wrong, that I couldn¡¯t be anywhere near her or the tent. When I opened them again Ulo was back in front of me again, still yelling. I could feel the memory still at the back my mind, ready to take over at a moment¡¯s weakness. Could still smell the mix of plants, sweat, and smoke that filled the air inside the healing tent.

    Nii and Wren were trying to talk Ulo down, get her to retreat to the other side of the hut, but Ulo wasn¡¯t having any of it. Some of the others were staring at me too and in them I could feel the twins glares as they dared to peek into the tent to watch Mo¡ªher tear me down.

    Ulo¡¯s arguments weren¡¯t even good, if they could even be considered arguments. But, somehow, the accusations had struck on the refrain I had been hearing for as long as I could remember.

    The memory pressed even closer as I desperately tried to think of something to say, to cut her off¡ªbut it was Mother standing before me. I couldn¡¯t cut her off, not unless I was fine with her withholding her lesson on the new treatment she was going to teach me today. I had already said something she didn¡¯t like.

    The healing tent¡ªno, the hut pressed in on all sides. Others had joined in on the argument with Ulo now, but Prevna and Dera and Loclen were all looking at me strangely. Prevna with a bit more recognition in her eyes than the others.

    Suddenly, it didn¡¯t matter that there was a snowstorm raging outside or that I might learn what it was like to be frozen all over again. I couldn¡¯t let them all see me like this, couldn¡¯t give them that weakness to exploit or give them questions that would hurt to hear even if I refused to answer.

    If I stayed the memory would definitely overtake me in front of everyone¡­if I left I wouldn¡¯t be trapped anymore.

    The answer was simple.

    I focused hard on Prevna. ¡°Don¡¯t come after me. Don¡¯t tell them.¡±

    She started to protest but I scrambled backwards and pulled the knots holding the door flap closed loose. Multiple people cried out as cold, snowy air burst into the hut. I shoved my way out into a snow bank higher than my knees. It probably would have been even higher but the wind was still whipping around so hard that it didn¡¯t let all the snow settle.

    The others could shut the flap.

    I had only one thought: get away.

 Book 3 - Ch. 38: Flight

    Parched lips. Dry eyes. Skin numbing and burning as snow and wind tried to burrow their way under my skin. But I didn¡¯t turn around, didn¡¯t slow down. All the sensations helped to ground me and press the memories back where they belonged.

    Except for one.

    But being frozen solid had nothing to do with her, so it was easier to identify and hold back. Especially when I was clearly moving and the snowstorm had a chaotic energy that was nothing like that blank stillness.

    I pressed forward.

    It didn¡¯t matter where I went as long as I kept moving. It wasn¡¯t like I¡¯d run into anyone else out here and the lake was still frozen over, so I didn¡¯t have to worry about falling in. Barra could find me as soon as the storm subsided now that I had one of her bits of glass and the others let her know I done something crazy again.

    The wind stole my breath and cut across the back of my throat. My teeth ached with the cold. My eyelashes froze together as I squinted to see through the swirling snow. There was a diffuse kind of light which made me think it was day time, but it wasn¡¯t strong enough to make more than the lightest of shadows.

    By the time I trudged my way to the edge of the Rookery the need to flee lessened enough that I could give thought to other important things. Namely that this wasn¡¯t the magical cold that the High Priestess had made on the shore¡ªI might not die from the cold, but that didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t get frostbite and there wasn¡¯t a guarantee I¡¯d heal fully like I had before.

    I couldn¡¯t stay in the storm.

    But going back wasn¡¯t an option.

    And I had nowhere else to go.

    I glanced down at the barely there shadow stretching from the pine in front of me. The shadow paths would get me out of the snow and cold. If I could enter them. I closed my eyes and tried to sense if there were any deeper shadows around me, but nothing was stronger than the faint breath of shadow in front of me, so weak that if felt like one more errant cloud would take the opportunity away.

    Pressing against the base of the tree, where the shadow was darkest, I tried to will myself into it, but nothing happened. Rather than a tent entrance it felt like a rock wall. Theoretically I could enter the shadow paths through it, but I didn¡¯t have the strength to break my way in or the finesse to find a crack to slip through.

    I tried to visualize the shadow as something else: a tent entrance I could untie, a pool I could sink into, a hole, but they couldn¡¯t overtake the image of a rock wall. Impenetrable. Solid.

    The shadow might as well have not been there for all the good it did me. I hit the snow, the bitter taste of frustration filling my mouth. I could go further into the woodland and hope that between luck and chance I came across a deeper shadow or a hollow I could shelter in, but without fire I¡¯d still be more likely to freeze.

    I glanced back at the cliff. Or I could go to where I knew there was a shadow dark enough that I could enter it. All I had to do was brave the switchback in the wind and snow.

    Well, it wasn¡¯t like I¡¯d die even if I slipped off the path. Though I would definitely freeze if I broke a bone and wasn¡¯t able to walk. I frowned at that thought, but I¡¯d get frostbite with every other option, too. This one at least had the chance of true respite from the storm.

    I turned around and started to make my way back across the lower half of the Rookery to the closest switchback. Exhaustion settled in quicker than I would have liked, shoving my way through the deep snow. Shivering from the cold and the way the wind snatched my breath didn¡¯t help either.

    But I welcomed the way my feet dragged, the focus it took to take one step and then another without giving into the temptation to sink into the soft snow. Better that blocking out everything else than letting my mind drift to all the other places I didn¡¯t want it to go.

    I stopped when I was about two thirds of the way to the cliff to stare up at it. From what I could see, the snow hadn¡¯t had a chance to build up on the switchback, except for in small crevices and corners, because of the wind. A small blessing since I didn¡¯t like having to hike all the way up that path in best of circumstances. Still, I¡¯d need to keep close to the wall to help make sure that same wind didn¡¯t blow my footing out from under me.

    Prepared as I could be, I was about to continue forward when I noticed a large, light shadow growing around me. Then I was hurtling sideways and up. And up.

    I cried out in shock but between the regular wind and the speed I was suddenly moving at, the sound got swept away. The world spun again.

    For a moment I was back on the water snake, desperately holding on as it thrashed. But I wasn¡¯t the one holding on this time. Something was holding onto me. Twin lines of pressure pressed against my front and back and they felt sharp. It wasn¡¯t hard to imagine that they¡¯d be drawing blood if they pressed in any tighter.

    I wanted to wipe my eyes clear but my arms were trapped, so shaking my head was the best I could as I tried to make sense of my new predicament.

    White and silver feathers that blended in with the snow. Powerful, long wings that glided along the turbulent wing currents, beating only when they had to. A round, pure black eye in the corner of my vision.

    I was caught in a storm bird¡¯s beak.

    Did it think I was food? Or was it trying to help?

    It brought its wings in closer to its body and we plummeted. My stomach sank and tried to twist itself in knots as I closed my eyes against the idea that I was going to be smashed against the ground. I tried to find something to hold onto but I couldn¡¯t even find the bird¡¯s tongue.

    Then my stomach lifted into the back of my throat as the storming bird started to glide again. I muttered curses at it.

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    When I peeked my eyes open to see what was happening I saw that we were only a short ways above the field of nests on the upper part of the Rookery. My captor kept circling lower, in tighter circles, until the storm winds fought such precise flying. Then the bird deigned to flap its wings so that we landed on the edge of a large, clean nest.

    My captor spit me out and the air got knocked out of me as I hit the dirt and grass bottom of the nest. Then it waddled forward and I had to scramble forward to avoid being stepped on. I nearly made it to nest¡¯s edge before its long black beak nudged me back down and I slipped back down against a warm bulk covered in smooth, soft feathers.

    Pins and needles broke out across my skin at the sudden heat. Despite that it felt nice to finally be warm, I still tried to escape again.

    I didn¡¯t get any further than before when the bird nudged me back down again and gave me a gentle peck with a beak easily as wide as my head. Taking the hint I settled down and let myself be covered in feathers.

    I was warm, the wind and snow weren¡¯t reaching me under the bird¡¯s bulk, and I wasn¡¯t being squished so badly that I couldn¡¯t stand it. I could stay here even if I wasn¡¯t in the shadow paths. Despite being trapped by my captor¡¯s attentions, the memories weren¡¯t even crowding in¡ªthe novelty of the whole situation, and the fact I could see the sky if I wanted to, helped to shove aside the connections that could pull me back into the memories.

    I had been the air. Flying. Or as close I could get to it until Tufani let us into the saddle.

    The shoots had nothing on it. Oh, I could see how training with them helped, but they couldn¡¯t capture the feeling of a bird rising quickly or slowing suddenly. The soft rustle of feathers, the pull of the wind, the sheer view.

    I could only imagine how much cooler it must be on a bird¡¯s back rather than hanging out its mouth like a dead fish.

    The storm bird called back and forth with a couple of its fellows before twisting its head around to tuck its beak under its wings. I wondered if it was telling them about the foolish human it caught. I could have tried to escape again, but, instead, I decided that this was ultimately better than trying to stay awake in the shadow paths. So I curled up a bit more in the bird¡¯s feathers and it didn¡¯t take long before I fell asleep too.

    - -

    A loud squawk vibrated through me and made it impossible to keep sleeping. I yawned and stretched, feeling better rested than I had in days, before I recognized the uneven gait and thump of Tufani¡¯s stride.

    ¡°What is it, girl?¡±

    The traitorous bird squawked again and prodded at me with her beak, forcing me out of her fluff that she had been so determined to keep me in before. The sky was dark and still cloudy, but the storm had passed. A small light lit one side of the nest and then Tufani was peering down at me.

    She clicked her tongue. ¡°What did I say about sleeping in nests?¡±

    I scowled up at her. ¡°It wasn¡¯t by choice.¡±

    Tufani¡¯s eyebrows rose at that, but she made a ¡®come here¡¯ gesture with the hand her candle¡¯s worth of flame hovered over rather than asking questions. ¡°Thanks for watching over her, Anore, but this one isn¡¯t one of your fledglings. I¡¯ll get her back to where she belongs.¡±

    Anore let out a whistling call before bonking me on the head one last time and ¡®helping¡¯ me out of her nest by prodding at my legs and back with her beak. I think she was trying to help lift me but it made me lose my balance as I climbed more than anything else.

    I tumbled out by Tufani¡¯s feet.

    She gave me a small shake of her head before she focused back on the bird. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure you get an extra treat today, pretty girl.¡±

    Anore settled back down into her nest, but she held her head high and smug at the word ¡®treat¡¯. Tufani chuckled at her antics before her gaze got a bit exasperated when it fell back on me and she let her flame go out.

    She gestured again. ¡°Follow me. We¡¯ll get whatever happened sorted out at the Nest.¡± And then a few steps later. ¡°You¡¯re lucky I like to make rounds as soon as the storm breaks to check on the birds. Anore probably wouldn¡¯t have let you go until she knew there was a human to take over watching you.¡± Tufani scanned the surrounding nests. ¡°There¡¯s not any other Sprouts that I have to rescue, is there?¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°Not that I know of.¡±

    She made a sharp noise of acknowledgment and we continued the walk in silence. It didn¡¯t take us that long to make it back to her hut because we could follow the path she had already broken through the snow, even if it did wind a bit amongst the nests.

    Tufani directed me to sit on one of the cushions by the fire while she stoked it higher. Barra must have heard the noise, because she stepped from behind the same door covering as last time, hair mussed and only a sleeping robe to cover her under clothes. I never had the luxury of having a set of clothes just for sleeping, but it didn¡¯t surprise me that she did. She still had the bits of glass in her hair and her jewelry on, too.

    Barra caught sight of me and her eyebrows pinched together. ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡±

    Tufani flapped a hand at her. ¡°You can go back to your chamber. The sky¡¯s still dark and I know you like your sleep.¡±

    Barra gave me another long look, but her normal, placid look was gaining strength the longer she was awake. The pinch between her eyebrows smoothed out and she dipped her head in a nod.

    ¡°Let me know if you need anything.¡±

    Then she disappeared back behind the door covering and took her unfair, ice-like beauty with her. Tufani set a pot of water to boil over the fire before she settled onto a cushion across the low table.

    She kept her voice low when she asked, ¡°How did you end up in Anore¡¯s nest?¡±

    I kept my voice low, too. ¡°She snatched me off the ground. Then she wouldn¡¯t let me leave the nest until you showed up.¡±

    ¡°And why were you outside in a snowstorm? Without so much as a poncho for protection?¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°There was an argument.¡±

    Tufani gave me a look that said that statement didn¡¯t cut it as an explanation, but there was no way I was going to tell her about the fear and the memories. She waited for me to elaborate but, when I didn¡¯t, she said, ¡°There¡¯s eleven other girls I can talk to that should be able to give a better explanation than that, though I can¡¯t think of a single good enough reason for you to go harrying off into a shamble maker.¡±

    I swallowed but held firm. ¡°My blessing wouldn¡¯t have let that happen.¡±

    Tufani tilted her head, studying me. ¡°That so. Were you afraid of getting hurt? Did the argument escalate?¡±

    ¡°No. There was an argument and it was better for everyone if I left. So I left.¡±

    ¡°And you weren¡¯t afraid for your own safety?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Hm.¡± I could tell that she knew there was more to it than that, but she didn¡¯t continue to press me. ¡°I¡¯ll speak to your cohort and we¡¯ll see what they have to say. Next storm you¡¯ll stay here in the Nest.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need you to protect me.¡±

    She snorted. ¡°And I don¡¯t need Sprouts running off into snowstorms. We¡¯ll both do what we need to make sure it doesn¡¯t happen again.¡±

    A handful of minutes passed before the water over the fire started to boil. Tufani moved the pot away from the fire and got a pinch of some kind of leaf from her shelves that she threw into the pot. A couple minutes after that the drink was steeped and she had placed two small cups on the table. She filled both and set one in front of me.

    ¡°Drink that.¡±

    I let it cool off for a little bit longer before doing what I was told. Bitter and earthy. Not unexpected, but it was more comforting than I expected. I stayed there, sipping the tea, ready to get up and leave, but having no doubts that Tufani would stop me if I tried. I could have forced the issue, but I didn¡¯t think that was smartest move. Not when Tufani could pick her line of questioning up as easily as she dropped it. Not when I still had months left of training that I needed to learn from her.

    A sharp, urgent whistle came from beyond the outside door covering and Tufani answered it with her own whistle.

    Wren burst into the hut. ¡°Tufani, Gimley is¡ª¡± She caught sight of me and stumbled over her next few words before finishing lamely, ¡°here.¡±

    ¡°Thought you might be coming.¡± Tufani grabbed her cane and stood up. ¡°Now that we caught the messenger why don¡¯t we go and see what everyone else has to say about this argument?¡±

 Book 3 - Ch. 39: The Tamers Lecture

    Barra didn¡¯t have a hair out of place when Tufani asked the whisper woman to take her to the village through the shadows, so I doubted she had gone back to sleep like Tufani originally told her to do. It made me wonder if Barra had simply spent the time getting ready or if she had eavesdropped on the conversation for some reason. Not that there had been anything particularly exciting for her to learn.

    The clouds had begun to separate enough overhead that the shadows of the regular pine trees had darkened enough for us to travel through them with some extra effort. When I made my shadow path it no longer felt like I was pushing ineffectually at a stone wall; instead, the shadow I wanted to exit from was a tent flap tied closed with an irritating number of knots. I got through it, but I¡¯d never be proud of how long it took.

    Wren and I had to catch up with Barra and Tufani since the whisper woman had a longer range than we did and less difficulty with the shadows. Wren kept glancing at me like she wanted to say something, but I kept my focus on the snow in front of my feet and she kept quiet.

    For few minutes.

    ¡°You really like to run out into storms, huh?¡± False cheer coated her voice.

    I clenched my jaw and didn¡¯t reply.

    Wren didn¡¯t give up. ¡°Prevna wanted to come too, but she didn¡¯t think she¡¯d make it through the shadows and slogging up the cliff didn¡¯t make sense.¡±

    I had put that much together on my own. Wren had picked up traveling between two shadows right after me and it didn¡¯t make sense to send multiple people to tell Tufani or Barra about my disappearing act, especially when the cohort knew exactly where to find them. Wren had the best chance of going through the shadows and warning them quickly, which she did. Even if it was embarrassing to have her find me drinking tea at Tufani¡¯s table after my dramatic exit.

    ¡°She¡¯ll be relieved you weren¡¯t lost and frozen in some random snow drift,¡± Wren continued. ¡°Why did you leave the hut? We were talking Ulo down¡ªshe shouldn¡¯t have come after you like that.¡±

    I kept marching through the snow. Impatient to meet back up with Tufani and Barra. Wren might be cute, but, at the moment, I wished she would just shut up. Luckily, we did fall in with them while she was still giving me time to answer and then she kept her questions to herself. We caught up right outside the village, so there was only about another minute of walking before we reached the hut we had been given.

    Tufani whistled, sharp and clear, outside the door flap and a moment later an answering whistle came from inside. She swept in with Barra while Wren and I slipped in on their heels. Chirp swooped down on Wren¡¯s shoulder and immediately began to twitter quietly into her ear.

    Prevna stood to the right of the entrance and when she saw me her shoulders relaxed while she let her head tip back against the wall. Her clear relief made part of me want to go running for the trees again, but I held my ground. It might be dangerous, but I knew it was already too late to put the proper protective distance between us. If I tried it now it would only hurt us both, like it had with Fellen.

    I couldn¡¯t¡ªwouldn¡¯t¡ªdo that again.

    Now all I could do was try to make sure no one used her against me.

    The others were all in their usual groups. Ulo holding court with Andhi and Nii on the opposite side of Prevna, but not near the door. Juniper, Idra, and Ento sitting in the back corner on Prevna¡¯s side with Loclen and Dera between them and her. Breck watched over the fire in the middle of the hut.

    Tufani thumped her cane. ¡°I will not tolerate Sprouts running loose in the storms. I will hear from each of you what happened and if you try to lie you¡¯ll get to look forward to only running laps around the lake for the next three days. No other training. I don¡¯t care about the snow.¡± She met everyone¡¯s gaze in turn before speaking to Barra. ¡°Will you take them to Grandmother? She can put them to work while I speak to them individually.¡± She faced the cohort again. ¡°I want your individual accounts. The truth. Not whatever story makes you and your friends sound the best.¡±

    Barra led Wren and me back outside with the rest of the cohort after we grabbed our cloaks, except for Ulo. Tufani had singled her out to go first. Apparently, she had noticed more about our group dynamics than I would have given her credit for.

    Barra dropped us off at the Rookery Grandmother¡¯s hut, let her know what was happening, and told her that we weren¡¯t supposed to speak to each other until Tufani said so. The Grandmother took our intrusion into her space gracefully and set us to work on a handful of small, miscellaneous tasks.

    Prevna bumped her shoulder against mine as she stepped past to sit a pace or two away from the spot I was heading for. I would never admit it to her, but I felt some tiny, stupid worry uncoil in my chest at the friendly contact.

    Time crawled by as we waited for Ulo to appear. I paid more attention to the tent flap than the tunic I was supposed to be repairing until the Grandmother idly asked if there was something wrong with her door that she should know about. We all paid better attention to our tasks after that.

    An eternity passed before Ulo finally entered the hut and told Wren that she was next. Wren went a little pale at that, but she got up and left without a fuss. The Grandmother had Ulo take over Wren¡¯s task while I tried to guess how her meeting had gone with Tufani. The splotches of color on her face could have been from her throwing a fit or from walking through the freezing air outside. She held herself stiffly, like she needed to maintain rigid control over something that no one could take from her, but it also gave the impression that if someone pushed her just a little bit more she¡¯d explode and start ranting or bawling.

    Tempting. Even just to see which extreme she¡¯d fall into, but I kept my tongue behind closed lips. Setting Ulo off wouldn¡¯t do any good¡ªno matter how good it might feel to crack her semblance of control in return¡ªespecially with the tribe¡¯s Grandmother keeping a keen eye on us.

    Still, Ulo caught me looking at her and scowled back at me. Clearly blaming me for everything that had happened. So I deliberately let my eyes glaze over and looked away as if she wasn¡¯t even there, nothing she did could touch me. It had the desired effect. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ulo get even angrier at the silent dismissal.

    Prevna gave me a bit of a censoring look before rolling her eyes in amused exasperation for getting another rise out of Ulo. We both knew it wasn¡¯t exactly the smartest move, but it was satisfying.

    Juniper was called to be interrogated by Tufani after Wren and Andhi after her. An eternity of waiting between each one, pretending not to watch the hut entrance, trying to read them when they returned. Wren looked concerned, Juniper gave nothing away, and Andhi was upset.

    And then there was the next and the next and the next.

    Prevna gave me a smile and a nod when Dera called her name. I couldn¡¯t do anything but hope that she wouldn¡¯t lay out my weakness for Tufani to inspect and poke at. I didn¡¯t need anyone else knowing about the memories. Even if there wasn¡¯t a good explanation for my reaction otherwise.

    When she returned, she shrugged at me with a look that said everything was taken care of before Prevna settled down to nibble on a bit of food she had in a pouch and got back to work.

    I didn¡¯t know what to think.

    Part of me was glad that she was so confident that the meeting had went well while another part couldn¡¯t help but still worry about what she might have shared. And a third part¡­rebelled at the idea that I needed someone else to take care of anything for me.

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    I was the one that solved problems. For better or worse. I took care of things and I didn¡¯t need anyone else to take care of me. I was in control. I had to be.

    Even if Prevna had saved me from staying frozen. Even if she had brought me food and helped me out when I got stuck on the wrong side of the garden. Even if she hadn¡¯t judged me when she learned I had been a healer¡¯s daughter.

    I took care of myself. Sometimes I took care of others.

    No one took care of me.

    That¡¯s how it had always been.

    But Prevna had never done what I expected, acted in a way that made sense. She declared that we¡¯d be friends based on a feeling she had. She had poisoned me when we first met and I had never been fully free of her since. She was too persistent and just the right amount of annoying and understanding.

    Like a huntress¡¯s poison that worked its way into a target and then left it vulnerable without killing it.

    I stared at the ripped poncho in my hands without actually seeing it. My breaths got a little shorter even as I struggled to regulate them, so I wouldn¡¯t give anything away.

    I couldn¡¯t cut Prevna free from me. I knew that. It¡¯d do as about much good as trying to cut poison out of a body. I also knew that I didn¡¯t want her to go, not really.

    But that still left me with the problem that had just slapped me across the face.

    What was I supposed to do about this gaping vulnerability? I could protect Prevna from others, stop them from getting to me through her. But I couldn¡¯t protect myself from her actions. Her kindness or censure, her ability to read me, the decisions she made that she thought were in her or my best interest.

    I wished I could run away again.

    But that wouldn¡¯t solve anything. It never did in the long run.

    ¡°Gimley.¡±

    My head jerked up. It wasn¡¯t Prevna who spoke, but Breck. Calling me to go talk with Tufani again.

    I handed Breck the poncho I was supposed to be repairing and headed out into the snow, thankful for the reprieve. It was only a short walk between the two huts, but the cold and open air helped me push back the rising panic and focus on what was coming next.

    I was the last one to be called, of course, since I had already talked with Tufani, but I didn¡¯t like that I didn¡¯t know what she was going to ask now that she had spoken with everyone else.

    As I got close to our hut, I slowed down my steps and tried to walk as quietly as possible. Just in case there was anything useful I could learn by listening in. I had to get right up next to the door covering before I could make out anything more than a muffled voice.

    ¡°¡ªworse every year I swear.¡± That was Tufani.

    ¡°Jin isn¡¯t known for her teaching skills.¡± And that was Barra.

    ¡°And no one else can be spared?¡±

    ¡°Of course there is. I even heard there¡¯s a fire starter who volunteered, but the commander isn¡¯t going to let anyone else take over until Jin stops trying to fly free of it. You know what she¡¯s like.¡±

    Tufani made a derisive noise of agreement. ¡°And we have to deal with more arguments and fool rivalries in the meantime.¡±

    ¡°As long as they know the pointy ends of their weapons and the basics of the boons, the sects will leave it be. They¡¯d rather the girls care for their sect sisters and set them straight with their own training than meddle with the Peacekeepers¡¯ spat because the new seedlings don¡¯t get along.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see if they even know that much if this goes on much longer.¡±

    I wanted to keep listening, but I didn¡¯t doubt that they¡¯d get suspicious if I didn¡¯t show up soon, so I pushed my way into the hut. Tufani and Barra both stood by the fire, and Tufani let Barra stay to listen in this time. I stopped a couple steps in and waited for Tufani to ask her questions.

    ¡°Do you have anything you want to add to what you told me before?¡± she asked.

    ¡°No.¡±

    Tufani snorted. ¡°Of course not. I understand you don¡¯t do well in tight, crowded places?¡±

    So Prevna had given her a better reason for why I might go running off into a snowstorm. I couldn¡¯t really blame her for the partial truth even it did make the earlier anxiety flare up again. Prevna didn¡¯t know everything, but she knew more than anyone else about me¡ªand she could share it.

    She could decide I was too much and leave.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    I struggled to hold back my spiraling thoughts and focus on the current situation. Prevna wasn¡¯t here. But Tufani was and she wanted her questions answered.

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t.¡± My voice was tight, bitter.

    ¡°And that¡¯s why you ran out into the storm?¡±

    ¡°Like I said, there was an argument and it was better for everyone if I left, so I left.¡±

    Tufani gave me that look again that said she knew there was more to it than that. The difference was that this time she thought she knew what I wasn¡¯t saying.

    Barra spoke next, ¡°We heard that your mark doesn¡¯t let you die.¡±

    I crossed my arms and waited.

    ¡°Is that why you thought it was fine to brave the storm?¡±

    I met her gaze. ¡°Does that matter?¡±

    Tufani decided to try another approach. ¡°Can you tell us more about the argument?¡±

    I honestly couldn¡¯t remember much about the specifics of what Ulo had spouted off. My focus had been on trying to claw my way out of the memory every time she said something that triggered it.

    Still, I didn¡¯t mind laying the blame at her feet.

    ¡°She started ranting at me while I was minding my own business. I wasn¡¯t going to take it lying down, so I pushed back.¡±

    ¡°And?¡± Barra prompted in her gentle voice.

    ¡°And then I left.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡± Tufani considered me for a long moment before she turned to Barra. ¡°Would you mind getting the others? It¡¯s time we settle this.¡±

    Barra glided past me and left.

    Tufani settled her gaze back on me. ¡°Do you have any intention of letting go of this quibble with Ulo?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°She¡¯s the one who insists I¡¯m terrible and life-ridden.¡±

    ¡°Are you?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± She didn¡¯t need to know my history.

    Tufani nodded and gestured for me to move to the side. I did, and when the others entered with Barra it wasn¡¯t surprising to notice that we were arranged in a gradient from who got along with me the best to the least. Prevna looked like she wanted to bump shoulders again but she held back this time.

    Tufani thumped her cane against the ground. ¡°We all have our obligations to the goddess.¡± Everyone stiffened as she brought the goddess into the conversation. ¡°It¡¯s normal to squabble and fight, but we can¡¯t let those things drive us into stupid stunts or get in the way of our obligations. My obligation is to train you and keep you safe until you leave the Rookery. I have heard all about the spat between Gimley and Ulo, the bad blood leading up to it, and more besides. Step forward, Ulo.¡±

    Ulo obeyed though she was still tense and didn¡¯t look like she appreciated being called out first.

    Tufani shifted so she faced Ulo more fully. ¡°Being life-ridden is not a crime. It is a necessary, unpleasant burden some bear so that we can better serve the goddess. The obligation of those few. To be clear, Gimley is not life-ridden.¡± Those were words I doubted anyone in my tribe would agree with. Words I never expected to hear. Still, what Tufani said next cut through the pleasant surprise with all the finesse of a blunt knife. ¡°She is not a healer. She can no more cut free of her blessing than you can be rid of yours. So what do you expect to accomplish by accusing her over and over again?¡±

    Ulo faltered before rallying, ¡°She is¡ª¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Barra cut her off. Her voice was still gentle, still calm, but I couldn¡¯t get rid of the image of implacable ice in my mind. ¡°Blessings inherently can¡¯t be life-ridden. They are of the goddess. She can take Gimley¡¯s blessing away whenever She wishes, just as She can do to any of us.¡± That reminder made the whole hut somber. ¡°If anything, I am glad that I will not have to come as close to death in the manner and number of times the goddess no doubt intends for Gimley.¡±

    Prevna drew in a sharp breath by my side.

    Tufani picked up the lecture where Barra left off. ¡°I know you mentioned other things you think condemn her, but she has already been judged for those things by the Mistress of the Scales. It is not for you to judge her separately from that.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure I liked how swiftly information seemed to spread among the whisper women though it was interesting to learn just how much information Barra seemed to share with the Tamer.

    ¡°Step back, Ulo.¡± Tufani gestured to me. ¡°Gimley, step forward.¡±

    I did. Head held high, back straight. Not a touch of weakness for anyone to connect to my flight from the hut.

    ¡°Stop needling her.¡± Tufani¡¯s declaration flicked out like a whip. ¡°You don¡¯t have to like each other. You don¡¯t have to get along, but that doesn¡¯t mean you have push Ulo to the breaking point every time you interact just because you can. I know she started it this time and that you weren¡¯t in the best frame of mind, but I also know that this was latest incident in a string of them. Belittling your cohort isn¡¯t the answer.¡±

    It sure could be satisfying though, especially against insufferable girls who tried to tear me down every chance they got. Still, if Ulo actually listened to Tufani and Barra I¡¯d be fine with going back to ignoring her. I could stop insulting Ulo. If I wanted to.

    Tufani continued, ¡°Don¡¯t think you¡¯re safe just because you can¡¯t die. Not every danger is life threatening but they are still storming terrible to go through. I¡¯m sure life-threatening danger hurts just as much when it doesn¡¯t kill you as it does for someone dies. You won¡¯t get a reprieve from it. Remember that next time you get the urge to sprint out into a shamble maker or some other fool¡¯s errand.¡± She gestured at me. ¡°Step back, Gimley.¡±

    Then she settled her gaze over the rest of the group. ¡°Try not to let disagreements fester. As you can see that doesn¡¯t help anyone.¡± Tufani thumped her cane down again. ¡°Now we¡¯ve wasted enough time on this. I expect to see you all up at my hut within the hour. Then we¡¯ll move on to the shoots. Run!¡±

    We ran.

    And no one had the breath to say anything as we forced our way through the snow. Insult or kindness. All we could do was reflect on what Tufani and Barra had said.

 Book 3 - Ch. 40: A Different Kind of Strength

    Awkwardness and indifference ruled my interactions with the others after Tufani¡¯s lecture. I shut down anyone who tried to ask about why I had run out into the storm. Loclen and Dera cornered me about during training later that day and Loclen¡¯s questioned sounded more like she was accusing my lack of intelligence more than anything. I don¡¯t think Dera appreciated her approach, but I also didn¡¯t think either of them would have approached me if they had to come alone. I glared and glowered and made a couple of comments about the storm being more helpful than their staring in the hut. They gave up pretty quick and I let them draw whatever other conclusions they wanted.

    I could have been nicer about it, I knew that, but my patience for others poking around my weaknesses had already run thin. It didn¡¯t help that I kept getting sidelong looks from everyone too, like they were waiting for me to go dashing off into the woods for no reason.

    Ulo left me alone except for shooting me a black glare every now and again. I wasn¡¯t surprised that she blamed me for getting us in trouble or that she seemed to be having trouble letting go of the idea that I was life-ridden just because she was told to. But I continued on acting like she didn¡¯t exist and that brought us as in balance as we were likely to get.

    Prevna tried to comfort me. In her own way. But there was only so much she could do or say when someone else was always nearby while we trained and I didn¡¯t go to my normal practice spots in the evening. I knew that she wanted to talk, that she wanted to check and see if I was alright.

    But I wasn¡¯t.

    And I was worried what might come out of my mouth if she caught me in the lie. The last time I had felt similar to this I had cut Fellen¡¯s cord and ruined what I was trying to protect. Prevna was too close, but I couldn¡¯t push her away and I couldn¡¯t let her in further. Which left me with¡­no options.

    So I kept my head down, focused on training, and went to bed late so that she couldn¡¯t pin me down in the hut while everyone was sleeping, all while trying to make something out of nothing. There had to be something else I could do other than lashing out out of habit.

    I tried to think of what someone else would do in the same situation. Someone other than family. What Rawley or Fellen would do. What Grandmother would say.

    Grandmother would tell me to get over myself, stop dithering, and that things were what they were. As long as I tried to be the best seedling I could be and revered the goddess, that was all that mattered to her. Everything else was wasted breath and effort. Just like when I had tried to keep my healer¡¯s beads.

    Fellen wouldn¡¯t have had this problem, not before I hurt her, and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised that if, when she made another friend, that she¡¯d still stick to them like a burr. She was more willing to forgive and not treat everyone like they were out to get her than me.

    Trust is a different type of strength.

    That¡¯s what Rawley had told me. That¡¯s what she would do. She¡¯d want me to talk to Prevna, tell her what I thinking¡ªthe fears I kept gnawing over¡ªand work out a solution together. Just like she had teased trust and conversation out of me with her silence and patience.

    I wouldn¡¯t need to fear Prevna¡¯s actions if I trusted her.

    Which, logically, I did. I knew she wouldn¡¯t deliberately try to hurt me. That she had helped me over and over when she didn¡¯t need to. That she wouldn¡¯t use every scrap of knowledge she had about me as leverage just because others had.

    But the fear was still there. Filling my throat and pressing at my lungs all while insisting that if I did try to talk to Prevna all I would be doing is giving her more to work with. Letting her in further and making it that much more likely she¡¯d hurt me.

    Never mind that she knew I was a healer¡¯s daughter and had never shared it. Never mind that she knew about the memories and my difficulty with small spaces and everything else without ever trying to use them against me.

    The fear was still there. And every time I looked at her it reminded me of all the things she could do. All the things others could do if they knew. The way it would feel if Prevna was the one cutting up a hair cord I had spent weeks working on while I watched and begged her not to. After I trusted her to be a decent friend.

    Besides, if I did tell Prevna about one thing then she¡¯d want to know the rest. She¡¯d want to know why I was so aware of how her actions could hurt me, why I needed to be in control, why small spaces bothered me, and about the memories.

    And I couldn¡¯t tell her. Couldn¡¯t relive those years when I didn¡¯t even have healing to cling to. Didn¡¯t have anything to offer her other than a sharp tongue and stories, and all I¡¯d get from her was pity.

    I didn¡¯t need or want pity.

    My thoughts spun like that for two days until Barra announced that she was taking the rest of the cohort back to the practice grove we had started at before we traveled to the Rookery. Juniper had gotten stuck out in the woodland again when she was practicing her shadow walking and I think Barra was hoping she¡¯d have an easier time with only goddess grown pines to work with.

    They¡¯d be gone all day and I was looking forward to the break even though I wouldn¡¯t get to benefit from the training. No one wanted to accidentally break the decree that no other whisper woman than Mishtaw could mentor me. Tufani even let me off the hook for training with her so that she could focus on other tasks that had built up while she watched us.

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    I was a little surprised that Barra could make so many trips through the shadows in quick succession, but she only took one of the others at a time and she was traveling between the shadows of two goddess grown trees. That had to ease the strain. Also, while it had taken us three weeks or so walk to the Rookery, we hadn¡¯t taken the most direct route and we had gotten held up more than once. The distance wasn¡¯t what it could have been.

    Still, it was irritating to realize once again that we could have been at the Rookery in minutes or seconds, and skipped all the drama, if we just had the skill at shadow walking.

    I stayed in the hut after everyone else filtered out and decided to use the new space to practice some of my fighting techniques and other skills out of the snow. I could practice shadow walking later when the regular shadows were stronger.

    I had just gotten through my beginning stretches and begun to work with my spear when Prevna strode back in and stomped her feet free of snow. My grip on the spear slipped but I caught it again before the mistake was obvious.

    ¡°What are we practicing?¡± she asked as she slipped off her cloak and reached for her spear. The Rookery tribe had been nice enough to replace the ones we had lost.

    I blinked at her and stepped out of my stance. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be with the others?¡±

    Prevna winked at me. ¡°My head hurts too much. I don¡¯t have the focus to make shadow paths today. Dera is going to tell Barra.¡±

    I set my spear aside and gathered up my cloak instead. ¡°That¡¯s too bad. I was about to go practice shadow walking too.¡±

    She didn¡¯t block the doorway but she did cross her arms and roll her eyes. ¡°You could at least try to sound like you meant it. Why are you avoiding me?¡±

    I froze, cloak not quite in place. ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±

    Prevna snorted in clear disbelief. ¡°You¡¯ve been twitchy ever since you ran out into the storm. I know you don¡¯t like to talk about stuff like this but I¡¯m not going to just sit by and let you ignore me for no reason!¡±

    I swallowed back the retort that immediately rose on my tongue and stared at her instead. The hut, which had been fine enough now that it was empty of everyone, felt like it was pressing in on me.

    Something I did must have given it away, because Prevna put her spear back and picked her cloak back up. ¡°Let¡¯s go to the lake.¡±

    We got our cloaks in place and headed outside. Prevna watched me as I made sure the door flap was in place, but I didn¡¯t do anything stupid like trying to run off into the woods. It wouldn¡¯t solve anything and she¡¯d be able to keep up with her longer legs and stamina.

    So we trudged through the snow toward the frozen lake¡¯s shoreline. Prevna let me try to get my thoughts together while we walked, but that wasn¡¯t much help. I still didn¡¯t have a solution or anything that felt safe to say to her.

    We stopped at a spot between the village and the main switchback we used. Hopefully, if anyone else decided to travel past to use it while we were talking they¡¯d be too far away to hear. No one else was around. All the tribe members were busy with the birds and their herds, and the other tasks that kept the tribe functional.

    Nor was it lost on me that the whole situation was reminiscent of the time Prevna tried to get me to open up at the end of the Heartsong Festival. This time, however, we stayed standing and I let Prevna bump her shoulder against mine so she wouldn¡¯t think I had suddenly started hating her.

    She dug her shoe a little bit into the snow. ¡°Why don¡¯t you want to talk to me?¡± And then when I still didn¡¯t say anything, ¡°Was it something Ulo said or¡­?¡± Prevna gestured vaguely to her head.

    I shook mine.

    Her voice got quieter. ¡°Something I did? Said?¡±

    I started to shake my head again and then stopped. ¡°You acted like you had everything taken care of when you came back from talking with Tufani.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s a bad thing?¡± I could hear the frown in her voice. The censure.

    ¡°No, but¡ª¡± I cut myself off.

    ¡°But?¡±

    ¡°But you could have told her anything and there¡¯s nothing I could do! You know pretty much everything about me, but I don¡¯t¡ª¡± the urgency in my voice trailed off as shame started to color my cheeks instead, ¡°I don¡¯t know anything about you.¡±

    Prevna sighed. ¡°I thought you knew I wouldn¡¯t use those things against you. It¡¯d be wrong.¡±

    I kicked at the snow. ¡°I know that. In my head.¡± I got another friendly shoulder bump for that, but she waited for me to keep speaking. ¡°But right now it¡¯s like you hold all the sticks and I¡¯m just waiting for you to hit me with them or pass them off to someone else so they can do it¡­and part of me really, really wants to elbow you in the gut and steal them back, so you can¡¯t do that any more.¡±

    ¡°Then you just need your own sticks, right?¡± Prevna sounded thoughtful and when I looked up at her, she finally had her familiar teasing smile back on her face. She rolled her eyes at me. ¡°If you wanted to know my deep, dark secrets you could have just asked you know. No need to be dramatic about it.¡±

    My mouth worked for a bit but no sound came out. I didn¡¯t know what to say.

    Could it really be that easy?

    Prevna flopped back into the snow. ¡°Let¡¯s see¡­I don¡¯t like storms. Not the regular storms, but the rain storms so full of lightning and thunder that it feels like the goddess was going to break the sky with them. I always thought the band was going to drown from those. More than a few people did.¡±

    I sat down next to her. This time it was my turn to wait to see what she had to say.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know who my father is. Don¡¯t know if he¡¯s alive or dead, another Picker or from some tribe. Sometimes I wonder if I met him before or if he even knows. Sometimes I¡¯m afraid he¡¯s going to randomly show up and try to claim me.¡±

    They weren¡¯t the same as the memories, but if Prevna had nothing like that then I¡¯d be glad. Besides, it wasn¡¯t like I had ever directly come out and talked with her about them, she just had the general idea from what I had told Fellen.

    The difficulty with severe rainstorms could be like my difficulty with smaller spaces, though. Less frequent and more random, but still a difficult situation that was impossible to entirely avoid. And I could relate to not wanting to know a family member along with fathers who weren¡¯t really fathers.

    Prevna brushed a hand over her black lips. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to drink the shadow because I knew it would change the color of my lips. I knew it was the smart thing to do¡ªthat I had to do it¡ªbut I don¡¯t¡­¡± She let out a big frustrated breath. ¡°I¡¯m still a Picker, born and bred, but it doesn¡¯t feel the same. Does that make sense?¡±

    I caught her gaze and touched where my healer¡¯s beads used to hang. ¡°It makes sense.¡±

    She gave me a pained smile and we stayed like that, quiet, for awhile.

    Then Prevna asked, ¡°Is that enough sticks?¡±

    She could still tell people I was healer born or my myriad of other problems, but knowing more about her helped. Not that I had any intention of using her fears against her, not now that I knew how badly that could go even when I wasn¡¯t the one on the receiving end. But now it didn¡¯t feel like everything was sliding out of control.

    I nodded and drew in a fortifying breath to ask, ¡°Can you tell me more about what it¡¯s like? Being in a Picker band?¡±

    Prevna¡¯s smile became more real and she sat up. Then she told me a bunch of different stories from wandering over the Folds to playing pranks on other band members. She only mentioned one directly about raiding a tribe. I did my best to listen and that seemed to be enough for both of us.

 Book 3 - Ch. 41: Training Essentials

    Training continued and more weeks passed. We continued practicing with the intermediate shoots, but after Dera¡¯s accident no one was overeager to move onto the advanced ones except for Breck. Working on our control and ability to react quickly seemed more important than sliding down new shoots for now.

    It was interesting getting to know the birds better as well. Anore didn¡¯t seem to trust my survival instincts now that she had plucked me up from the middle of a snow storm. A few times a week the large bird would find me and check me over to make sure I was fine¡ªit didn¡¯t matter how much I protested or what Tufani, Wren, or the handler in charge of taking care of the area with her nest said. Apparently, in Anore¡¯s mind, I was a silly fledgling who needed more guidance than most and the humans couldn¡¯t be completely trusted to keep an eye on me since she had already saved me once. Even storm bird fledglings knew that only experienced adults with strong wings could safely leave the nest in that kind of storm.

    It got to the point that I had to explain to Prevna why a bird kept following me around everywhere. I made sure to focus more on how it felt to fly and less on the humiliation of dangling from a beak like a dead fish. Prevna shared the story with the rest of the cohort and soon I was on the receiving end of looks of envy, irritation, admiration, and disbelief. It didn¡¯t come as surprise to anyone that Ulo had the worst reaction, but even Wren seemed a bit disappointed that she didn¡¯t get to be the first one to fly. Chirp didn¡¯t like that Anore kept coming around so much and twittered at me for snacks to repay him for the disturbance. He got a palm full of berries for his trouble after two days. I couldn¡¯t stand listening to his begging longer than that.

    Other birds got more interested in me too after they noticed Anore¡¯s attention, but that normally faded after a quick inspection or until Wren captured their focus. All the birds loved talking with her¡ªto the point that she had to set aside time every day to just to interact with them so that they didn¡¯t interrupt our regular training. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because the storm birds grew up around people or if they were just more intelligent and sociable than the wild birds I had seen Wren talk to.

    Barra took the others to the practice grove two more times to work on their shadow walking. Prevna had half a mind to try to skip out on the practice so I wouldn¡¯t be at the Rookery alone, but I convinced her that she shouldn¡¯t waste the opportunity and I¡¯d be just fine on my own. Which I was.

    I liked the quiet after constantly being shoved together with the others for practice and in our sleeping quarters. I didn¡¯t have to deal with the glances and looks that they sent my way or the speculation about why I had run out into the storm. Peaceful solitude instead of tactics training with Juniper or the beat down that was weapons practice with Breck. She tried to give advice, but I think she knew how to use her weapons best more on instinct than logical thinking.

    I used those days to mainly practice my shadow walking as well. I might only have one goddess grown shadow to work with but I figured that was a challenge that might help me improve my abilities in the long run. After all, most of the time we shadow walked, I doubted that we¡¯d have a convenient goddess grown tree on the other end.

    So, instead, I focused on traveling between the normal shadows along the Rookery¡¯s edge now that my control had improved. I noticed that it was more difficult to change my impression of what the shadow felt like the lighter the shadow got. With the regular shadows I could change my mental image from a tied tent flap to a pool of water within a handful of seconds now, but when I tried the same thing with a lighter shadow it took longer and sometimes it felt like the water had a film over it that still kept me from entering the shadow. The really light shadows, like the ones made by a handful of needles or so at the top of a tree, refused to change images at all. Those had the impression of an impenetrable rock wall like the shadow I tried to enter in the storm.

    The small shadows also made things more difficult too. The size of the shadow didn¡¯t affect my ability to change my impression of the shadow, but the smaller it was the more constrained I felt trying to enter it. To put it another way, entering the shadows of the goddess grown trees felt like walking through a giant archway, a regular adult pine tree was stepping through the entrance of a family tent, the thin shadow of a sapling was like squeezing through a tunnel just wide enough for my shoulders, and anything smaller than that was impossible.

    Really, when putting it all together, it was little wonder that the Sprouts who had taken the cohort down from the Seedling Palace for the game Hunter¡¯s Quarry had had such trouble. Taking another person along would make both of those factors more difficult, not to mention the fact that creating a path was difficult enough. I wasn¡¯t sure if I could bring another person with me into one goddess grown shadow, much less create a path to another location with them. Especially one I couldn¡¯t see.

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    I knew it went against Esie¡¯s advice but I still found that I got the best results when I traveled to another tree that I could picture in detail. Which meant I mostly hopped around from shadow to shadow in sight of each other unless I decided to go to the feathered tree. I wasn¡¯t sure how else to focus my intentions like she wanted me to do or what ¡®trust the blessing¡¯ was supposed to mean. I used the blessing and it worked or it didn¡¯t. It didn¡¯t seem like a whole lot of trust was needed for that to be true.

    All in all, my experiments with shadow walking helped me improve, but I could tell that there was something I was still missing. Something that should let me travel farther to places I couldn¡¯t picture as clearly or didn¡¯t know what they looked like at all.

    The rest of the cohort improved as well. From what I heard, everyone could successfully travel between the trees in the practice grove now including Juniper, though she seemed to do better at traveling to different points in a single shadow even though that was supposed to be harder than traveling between shadows. Prevna said that Barra looked more confused by Juniper every session.

    I spent some time practicing traveling through a single shadow too, but my focus wasn¡¯t into it. However much I practiced though I knew I wasn¡¯t the clear forerunner when it came to shadow walking any longer. I wouldn¡¯t have guessed who the new lead was if given the chance either: Dera.

    My bet would have been Wren or Loclen, but apparently making a path felt very similar to using her boon to manipulate bone. Dera was the only one who could travel to regular shadows out of sight and, when she returned to the grove, it was always to the tree she intended. Her accuracy for appearing where she wanted in a shadow sounded like it was improving too.

    Loclen was in second place. Similarly her shrouding boon seemed to help her have more affinity when it came to using the shadow paths. Wren might have been further along, but Prevna said that her main focus was on being able to bring Chirp with her into the shadows. I was probably in third place now with Prevna, Breck, Andhi, and Idra making up the middle of the pack.

    I didn¡¯t like losing my position, but it made sense that I wouldn¡¯t be able to keep up the same pace of improvement as the others when I didn¡¯t have anyone to point out what I was missing. And while I could ask the others for help, I doubted they¡¯d be very eager to after the big scene I made about sharing my own advice. I had Esie¡¯s advice; I could figure it out on my own.

    Another snowstorm hit, but it only lasted for a day and Tufani wouldn¡¯t hear a word of me staying anywhere but in her hut where she could keep an eye on me. The upside of the awkward situation was that I didn¡¯t have to worry about the fire going out, I got hot tea, and Tufani passed a good portion of the time telling stories about her birds and the various missions whisper women had taken them on. The downside was being under the scrutiny of the Tamer and Tracker¡ªwhen Barra joined us in the main room¡ªand the time Tufani decided to test how many of her bird facts I remembered. Reciting them wasn¡¯t nearly as exciting as her stories, but I could tell I surprised her with the sheer amount I spout back to her. It took time, but I had committed to hanging them in my memory tent as little bird carvings since I knew that was one of the few areas Ulo had a chance to win at. Later I might have to clear them out for more essential information, but I didn¡¯t see why I should let her win when I had the tools to stop her.

    Tufani tried to press me about how I could recall so many facts so clearly when she hadn¡¯t mentioned some of them more than once weeks ago, but I refused to elaborate more than my answer of ¡°Practice.¡±

    During the stretches of silence, while Tufani and Barra focused on projects of their own, I let my mind brush over the other areas in my memory tent and the plants covering the landscape outside it, refreshing my memories even as it made my mouth go sour and my skin break out into a sweat.

    It might have been smarter to let my healing knowledge fade, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to abandon it, even knowing I could never use it again. There was still some¡­comfort in going over what I knew about the various plants and tinctures and methods despite the panic and fury that wanted to well up too. I couldn¡¯t use it, but the knowledge was mine. That fact was enough to keep me from sinking into another spiral at the loss.

    Nor did the goddess strike me down for indulging in the information. Which meant She had more important things to pay attention to at the moment or She didn¡¯t care about me having the knowledge as long as I didn¡¯t practice it. Of course nothing had happened when I reviewed the knowledge before but I hadn¡¯t been sure if I was placed under stricter limitations after the trial.

    I couldn¡¯t practice healing, but at least I could think about it. Which was something. My skills would probably still get dull but there was little I could do about that.

    Overall, the weeks of training leading up to the Heartsong Festival went smoothly and passed by quickly. We got used to the rhythm of the different lessons and knowing what to expect, though curiosity and restlessness rose as we got closer and closer to the festival. Everyone was ready for a break and eager to see how similar the Rookery¡¯s version of the Heartsong Festival was to the ones we had grown up with. It didn¡¯t take long for the first day of the festival to arrive and we got to find out.

 Book 3 - Ch. 42: Wind Blown

    The Rookery tribe was full of daredevils and fools with an unfortunate love of heights. Which was better than enclosed spaces and tunnels, but I didn¡¯t like feeling like my feet would be blown out from under me into open air once the goddess¡¯s wind came to start the festival.

    We were on top of one of the ribs. Prevna, Wren, Dera, and me with a handful of other tribe members and a dozen more clinging to the carved out handholds we climbed to get here. The rest of the cohort and other important Rookery people filled up the rest of the ribs around the upper lake too. The children and their minders kept to the ground. Miyan had been pouting nearby when we started to climb up because she wasn¡¯t allowed up top yet even though she wasn¡¯t that much younger than us.

    Logically, I knew I had been higher up on narrower paths, like in the Seedling Palace, but that had never been a place of extreme weather while we were there. Now I¡¯d be facing a wind that I knew could knock me off balance with only a step of clearance in front of me and two or three stumbles behind. The Rookery tribe had kept the ice chipped away beneath the ribs, so at least I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about breaking my neck on the frozen lake when I fell.

    They didn¡¯t even have ropes or something else for us to hang onto. The tribe member next to me said that the trick was to crouch or sit and lean into the wind, but not so much that you toppled forward when it stopped blowing. I quietly hoped it was a trick I could master in one attempt.

    Something soft brushed against my hand and I didn¡¯t have to look to know what it was. The same thing had happened several times already.

    Against all practicality, Prevna had decided to wear her hair down for the festival, with only a couple front pieces pulled back and tied in a pretty knot to keep hair from constantly being in her eyes. It hung long and straight just past the middle of her back when the breeze didn¡¯t catch it.

    And everything was fine.

    I had seen her with her hair down before, even if it had typically been wet and in the process of being washed then. So it didn¡¯t matter if the change made my eyes want to catch on her other features, see how they might look different with the hairstyle change and the festival paint. I could control it. She wouldn¡¯t catch me staring at her.

    So everything was fine.

    Wren had pulled her hair back into a tail, which is what Prevna should have done if she didn¡¯t want to do her usual twin buns, and Dera had her sunset hair held in place with two more bone clasps than normal. The pair had also been more elaborate with their light blue festival paint. Wren had two interlocked lines of petals ringing the eye that wasn¡¯t already marked with her bless mark.

    Dera seemed to be trying to make herself look more fierce with the jagged line of paint that went from temple to temple and across her nose. She had also drawn a line down her chin and the middle of her forehead.

    I kept things simple with my usual braid and a couple of dots under the bottom corner of my eyes in honor of the design Rawley had given me last year. Not that it would matter if I fell face first into the freezing water below.

    A sharp crack split the air as the sun started to sink behind the horizon in earnest and the tribe¡¯s Echo started the anticipatory beat. It sounded a bit lonely after years of hearing multiple sets of rhythm sticks being hit together¡ªand with the tribe spread out around the wide lake¡ªbut soon that didn¡¯t matter. The Rookery tribe were nothing if not enthusiastic as they stomped and slowly raised their clapping hands.

    A breathy pause as we all held our hands over our heads and watched the last sliver of the sun slip behind the horizon. Then the incoming roar of a large gust of wind born from nothing charging toward us. I shifted my stance in one last attempt not to get blown off the spire¡ªand wind was pulling at my clothes, my hair, pulling tears from my eyes. Prevna¡¯s hair slapped me in the face and I heard the Beloved singing with her clear, powerful voice.

    I stumbled back and the tribe member next to me tried to steady me but I shied away from her touch. Prevna caught my wrist instead and we both crouched lower into the wind. A moment later the gust began to die down until it was little more than the usual breeze. Prevna let go of my wrist and we both straightened as the Rookery tribe¡¯s Grandmother called out, ¡°For the Beloved!¡±

    ¡°For the Beloved!¡± We echoed her and pulled our prayer needles free to offer drops of blood. Every single drop disappeared into dust as soon as they were flung into the sky.

    That was expected. That was normal.

    What wasn¡¯t normal was the sound of running steps as the tribe woman who had been near the tip of the stone rib flung herself over the front of it and into open air. The four of us scrambled forward to see what was happening¡ªit hadn¡¯t looked like she was trying to dive into the water below.

    A screech came from behind us, followed by a rush of air, and then the woman landed on the back of a storm bird in a crouch. Wren let out a whistle of appreciation. I gaped.

    One of the other tribe members on the rib grinned at us. ¡°She¡¯s a true feather heart.¡±

    The woman got herself tied onto the bird¡¯s saddle in record speed but left the cords a lot longer than Tufani had advised us to do. The reason immediately became clear as she stood up in the saddle¡ªsomething Tufani had said we should never try to do¡ªand her bird started a circuit around the lake. Other pairs joined them and, once all eight were flying in a circle, the women pulled out feathered fans and began to dance. All while balanced on a flying bird¡¯s back.

    We stood entranced as the blue-green light streamed off them and highlighted their smooth, careful movements. Like they were the living embodiment of the Beloved¡¯s lights that sometimes appeared in the night sky outside of the festival.

    And I realized that this display of of skill was the Rookery tribe¡¯s formation dance. They might not have the hundreds of people who came together to dance like I was used to in Grislander¡¯s Maw, or multiple Grandmothers and Echoes from various tribes, but they had their birds and they were going to understandably include them in every significant event they could.

    We watched until the dancers settled back down on their bird, one by one, the light dimming and dying out around them, before they flew away out into the night. I turned back toward the handholds leading down the stone spire, ready to leave, but the same tribe member who spoke before held out an arm to stop me.

    ¡°It¡¯s your turn now.¡±

    My eyes blew wide open again while Prevna took the lead and asked, ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    The tribe member gestured to the pointed tip of the rib. ¡°Your turn to fly.¡±

    I heard someone swallow thickly behind me and then Dera said, ¡°We haven¡¯t even gotten to the advanced shoots yet. We haven¡¯t been on a bird¡­and you want us to jump?¡±

    The tribe member made a negating gesture. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, we always let you have the gentle birds and if you miss or fall off you¡¯ll just be going for a dive instead.¡±

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    Wren was in a heated conversation with Chirp at this turn of events and from the sound of her half of the conversation he was trying to declare that she didn¡¯t need any other bird to fly but him. Which was a clear lie no matter how you looked at it, but Wren seemed to be trying to soothe the little puffball¡¯s ego rather than making him face reality.

    Dera didn¡¯t sound the least bit reassured by the tribe member¡¯s statement. ¡°But most of the lake is still covered in ice¡ªand we¡¯ve never flown before!¡±

    None of the tribe members with us looked particularly alarmed. ¡°You¡¯ll be fine. The birds¡¯ll keep it short and fly low.¡±

    I knew I¡¯d be fine but I didn¡¯t like the thought of the others being forced into a recipe for disaster. Maybe if they saw someone else go first they¡¯d be less likely to make a mistake, too.

    ¡°I¡¯ll go first.¡± Prevna.

    I twisted to glare at her. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°It sounds like fun and we¡¯ll have to fly at some point.¡± Prevna really had lost all sense with her change of hairstyle.

    Dera wasn¡¯t ready to give in either. ¡°What about Tufani? She wouldn¡¯t want us riding the birds before we¡¯re ready.¡±

    The tribe member started to usher Prevna to step around the others and make her way towards the rib¡¯s tip. ¡°Her words, ¡®They¡¯re never ready, so all we can do is help them build character¡¯. The Tamer¡¯s the reason we get you seedlings up here every year. Make sure you respect the sky once you get to fly proper.¡±

    I didn¡¯t like the sound of that, but it seemed like we weren¡¯t going to be given much of a choice. Prevna stepped up to the edge as the tribe member continued to give her advice.

    ¡°Don¡¯t flail around too much or try to do the fancy landing like Fay. You¡¯ll probably get the air knocked out of you when your bird swoops in to meet you, but just do your best to get a hold and then hang on. That¡¯s the main thing you need to do after that: hang on.¡±

    Prevna nodded and then cast a look back at me. ¡°Wish me luck? From one horror to another?¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Like you need it.¡±

    Dera looked shocked and Wren broke off her conversation with Chirp to say something, but Prevna cut her off with a laugh before catching the attention of the tribe member who was facilitating this whole crazed situation. The tribe member stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly.

    Prevna tipped over the edge.

    My heart surged up into my throat as I strained to see what was happening. If she got hurt when I couldn¡¯t even bring myself to wish her luck in front of others¡­

    A large white bird swooped in from behind us again and met Prevna before she was even halfway into her fall. Prevna landed on her stomach closer to the bird¡¯s tail than fully in the saddle, but after a breath stopping moment she managed to get a hold on the handles and haul herself into the proper position. She didn¡¯t try to tie herself in place, just held on as the bird flew low out over the ice.

    I let out the breath I¡¯d been holding.

    Then the bird began to climb and take steep dives, twist and turn like it was trying to shake Prevna off. It didn¡¯t take long. I could only watch in horror as her grip slipped during one particularly sharp turn and she went one way while the bird continued in another. She arced up and then down. On a crash course with unforgiving ice.

    And then another bird dove down from the sky, nearly vertical, and snatched her out of the air with its beak before making a quick adjustment to fly out over the lake, so it didn¡¯t crash into the ground right after saving her. Light began to rise around the bird¡¯s saddle and I realized it was one of the dancers who had saved her. Most of me wanted to punch someone even as I realized that this whole situation was more preplanned and thought out than I wanted to give it credit for. That didn¡¯t make it any less dangerous.

    Wren marched right up to the tribe spokesperson. ¡°What in the storming night was that?¡±

    The woman remained cool. ¡°A lesson, like I said. You¡¯re not in any real danger. Our best fliers and their birds will catch you before you hit the ground, but the Tamer wants you to know what it¡¯s like if a flight goes bad in a safe environment.¡±

    Dera looked like the tribe member had just declared her death. Inevitable, inescapable, and akin to the goddess¡¯s will, so no one in their right mind would dare to try to help her avoid it.

    Wren just looked pissed. ¡°So it¡¯s like that then?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s like that.¡± The woman nodded.

    Wren muttered something to Chirp and then she stepped off the stone rib. The tribe member had to rush to whistle and the bird she called barely had time to get under Wren before she hit the water. Wren landed on one of the long handles and I flinched in sympathy. My ribs could still feel the phantom ache of the time I landed on the railing in the Seedling Palace.

    She only had enough time to grab onto the handle she fell on with both hands before the bird was trying to throw her off. Her body got flung around more as a result and one of her legs accidentally clipped the bird¡¯s wing. That sent the bird into a spiraling dive and Wren was thrown into free fall. A second later another bird dove out of the sky and caught her in its beak before flying her to safety while its rider lit up blue-green.

    The tribe member¡¯s gaze caught on Dera. ¡°You next.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡± Dera cut herself off as she swallowed. ¡°Okay.¡±

    She edged up to the rib¡¯s tip and looked down, paler than normal. I took a step forward. ¡°I can go next.¡±

    She shook her head. ¡°If I don¡¯t go now they¡¯re going to have to throw me over. That¡¯d¡­be even worse.¡± Dera drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before meeting the tribe woman¡¯s gaze. ¡°Ready.¡±

    The woman whistled. Dera hesitated, closed her eyes, and jumped. She screamed as she fell, got cut off as she connected with her bird, and then kept screaming as she scrambled to hold on and tie herself in place with the saddle¡¯s ties.

    Her hold didn¡¯t last very long, but her knot did. The one tie she got on her belt stayed connected, but it didn¡¯t do her much good. She had left too much slack so when she was thrown from the saddle she couldn¡¯t reach its handles to pull herself back in place. Instead, after a bit of unsteady flying from the bird as it tried to correct from suddenly being pulled in a new direction by her weight, she was left dangling by its side, buffeted by its wing, and crying. It took a bit of careful maneuvering from one of the rescue riders and the patience of both birds to get her untied and safely in the same saddle as the rider. Then the rider did something to make herself light up to signal that Dera was fine and it was my turn.

    I wasn¡¯t in the mood to let them get exactly what they wanted. To get thrown off after a handful of twists and turns. I had been in a bird¡¯s beak before¡ªI didn¡¯t need to experience that again. I knew what it was like to fall and get thrown around and have my hands feel like they were cramping from how tightly I was holding on.

    I had stayed in the sea snake¡¯s mouth until it died.

    I was storming going to stay on this storming bird¡¯s back until it gave up or got too tired to continue.

    The tribe woman flinched as I turned my blackest look on her. ¡°Do your worst.¡±

    Then I stepped off the edge. She whistled. Feathers and a leather saddle rose to meet me. I tried to land on my stomach. Better that than losing feeling in an arm from landing on it wrong or twisting an ankle or going head first.

    I got what I wanted and what air I had was shoved out of my stomach. My chin clipped the front edge of the saddle, but I ignored the pain and the spots in my vision to grab onto the handles on either side of me. Ignored the ties. Better to hang on than risk being thrown off because I was only holding on with one hand. My shortness came in handy too as I was able to drawn my knees up some and wedge my feet under the handles.

    The bird climbed into the air and then dove into a steep dive. Twisted and turned, flapped this way and that. The wind tried to pry my fingers loose, pull me free from the saddle. I turned my head to the side and tucked my chin against my shoulder. Gave up on trying to guess what the bird was going to do next and instead kept my sole focus on staying in the saddle.

    At one point the bird slowed suddenly and turned at the same time. My left side was pulled free from its holds and I had to grind my right knee into the saddle to avoid my legs pulling ahead of my face. Sensing victory, the bird dove into another tight spiral and what grip I had started to pull loose, but I managed to hook my free foot back under the opposite handle and stay on.

    Stayed on again when the bird climbed and climbed into the air only to turn into a dive as steep as the one the rescuer had taken to save Prevna. It felt like I was taking the full brunt of the Beloved¡¯s singing wind all over again. My hands and elbows and shoulders ached. My ankles felt bruised, but I stayed on.

    Then the bird used its momentum to turn into an equally steep climb and my left hand couldn¡¯t hold any longer against the combined sweat, cold air, and aching tiredness. The sudden added pull on my right hand tugged it free too and suddenly I was only connected to the saddle by my feet. The bird pulled its earlier move of snapping out its wings and quickly slowing before turning.

    One foot pulled free as I desperately tried to claw my way back into the saddle, but then the bird changed direction again and I was falling.

    I cursed the whole time I was in the air until I felt the unfortunate feel of a bird¡¯s beak closing around me. My rescue rider sang a bit to get herself to glow before calling out over the sound of wind and flapping wings, ¡°That was a good run!¡±

    I glared back into her grin but she didn¡¯t falter like the other woman. Instead she yelled again, ¡°Longest one we¡¯ve had in years! You¡¯re a stubborn one!¡±

    And I swore to myself, right then and there, that no matter what happened I would never be flung from a bird¡¯s saddle ever again. Longest to stay on hardly mattered when I had still lost.

 Book 3 - Ch. 43: Song and Dance

    The entire cohort gathered in front of Tufani¡¯s hut, a bubble of shock and anger and hurt pride while the Rookery tribe continued to celebrate around us. The rider who had rescued Dera was still sitting with her, arm around her shoulders, while Wren and Loclen tried to talk to her and cheer her up. A few other tribe members watched us as well, but I wasn¡¯t sure if they were caught up in the drama or if they had half a mind to interfere with any trouble that might be brewing.

    Juniper was just as bad as Dera, if not worse. Idra and Ento looked like they¡¯d take a bite out of anyone who came near her, but from the whispers I heard one or both of them hadn¡¯t put up the fight they could have when she was thrown from the rib they were on. That was a surprise in the same way that Juniper refusing to jump off the rib wasn¡¯t. With how scared she had been up in the tree on the statue it was impressive she had even been convinced to climb up the rib in the first place.

    Andhi didn¡¯t seem like she knew what her reaction should be as she alternated between agreeing with Ulo¡¯s ranting about betrayal and expectations and defending Tufani and the tribe. Nii listened as she sat to the side, staring at the ground.

    Despite being one of the ones to go first, caught completely off guard, Prevna was taking the sudden turn of events pretty well. It was over and done with, she was fine, and it had the benefit of being exhilarating and memorable. She wasn¡¯t raring to go and improve her time like Breck, but she was teasing me about being bitter when I had gotten the longest time.

    Everyone quieted down as Tufani thumped through the grass to stand in front of her doorway. The glares and hurt expressions didn¡¯t go away, but apparently no one was brave enough to yell at her to her face. I waited to see what she had to say. It didn¡¯t take long.

    ¡°Every year I get a group of girls giving me those same expressions, and every year I still make sure the next group faces the same.¡± Her stern gaze swept over us. ¡°Now you know what flying is like at its worst. When everything goes to shit and you don¡¯t have enough time to react, let alone think. When you don¡¯t have the skills or the strength to hold on. When you don¡¯t have enough time to get properly settled onto your bird, though this time you had the benefit of a saddle. That will not always be the case. Hopefully you will never have to face such a unexpected situation again. Hopefully whatever flights you may have during your service will be easy and smooth, but the worst case scenario does happen. It¡¯s the nature of the beast and my job is to get you prepared for it.¡±

    Her tone did more than enough to tell us not to expect an apology or excuses for what she had done. She would do all she could to fulfill her obligation to make us the best fliers we could be even if that meant thrusting us into unexpected trials when we were supposed to be relaxing and celebrating. Even if it was dangerous.

    The tribe¡¯s healer finally reached us and started making his rounds through the cohort. Tending to any errant bruises or scrapes that we might have sustained while being tossed around in the air. I did my best to glare at him until he thought better of even trying to approach me.

    Prevna, unfortunately, noticed what I was doing and leaned over to whisper in my ear, ¡°You hobbled your way over here. Who am I going to dance with if you¡¯re as nimble as a grandmother?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t turn to look at her. Not with her hair still down and tempting me to notice all the things I shouldn¡¯t while she was close enough that her breath tickled my ear. But storm it all, I refused to let a stupid hairstyle change ruin everything. Soon she¡¯d bind it back up and everything could go back to normal. She¡¯d be¡­Prevna and I could go back to not getting hung up on stupid details.

    ¡°I don¡¯t dance.¡±

    She leaned forward just enough so that I could see her customary knowing smile. ¡°I think you will.¡±

    And then the healer was kneeling next to me and, in the time it took my brain to remember that this was Prevna and that I couldn¡¯t stare at her no matter what¡ªnot even if that smile hit different for a moment¡ªhe was already treating my bruises while studiously ignoring my glares.

    Prevna was too observant by far. After he touched her up and moved on, she turned back to me. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? You froze for a moment.¡±

    Luckily, I had an answer I knew she¡¯d accept and gestured vaguely after the healer. ¡°Healing. I¡¯d rather do it myself if I could.¡±

    Then, because it was too dangerous by far, I focused inside of myself and did my best to rip up this new¡­awareness by the roots and stuff it into a heavy, robust sack. It didn¡¯t quite feel the same as the nervousness I got around Wren but I couldn¡¯t allow anything that might alter and jeopardize my friendship with Prevna. She was already too close. She already had too much of me and I didn¡¯t have much more to lose.

    I didn¡¯t have the rage I needed to set the mental sack on fire, so I had to settle for stuffing it in an out of the way corner in the memory tent. Better to be untouched and muffled as possible. Forgotten.

    The empty feeling in my gut grew a little, but now Prevna would never need to know about this particular mistake.

    I focused back on Tufani¡¯s speech just so I had something else to anchor myself to. She continued, ¡°¡­setting expectations. Going forward, after the festival, you will start on the advanced shoots for a week before you also start beginner flights with the birds. Those flights will be as easy and smooth as we can make them.¡±

    Ulo crossed her arms. ¡°Why should we trust you?¡±

    I expected Tufani to say something warm, something comforting, but she settled on the harsh truth. ¡°Because you don¡¯t have a choice. Enjoy the festival.¡±

    She disappeared into her hut. No one dared to go chasing after her to demand more answers for our ordeal. I could understand her points, but I still didn¡¯t like the fact that she had blindsided us. Didn¡¯t like that someone could have been thrown off in an unexpected direction without any warning about what was going to happen and gotten hurt before one of the rescue fliers could swoop in to save them.

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    Of course, all her warnings certainly paled in comparison to experiencing such an awful flight. Which was why Tufani had made us do it. No doubt all of us respected the sky now, though I wasn¡¯t sure how she was ever getting Dera and Juniper off the ground again.

    No one looked that enthused to enjoy the festival. Even Breck seemed more focused on getting back up in the air than trying out the tribe¡¯s festival food or performances. I needed something else to anchor myself with though now that Tufani had left. Something to distract from the empty feeling and the sack and the way Prevna¡¯s unfortunate choice of hairstyles threatened to ruin everything after we had just gained a bit more trust.

    Snow crunched and feathers rustled. I turned to find Anore, the mother hen, waddling her way towards us. Another storm bird was probably the last thing most of the cohort wanted to deal with, but the bird called out a greeting to Wren and the other girl brightened. Then Wren leaned to speak softly to Dera. I was too far away to catch what was said, but it turned out not to matter.

    Anore reached me and checked me over like she always did. However, she didn¡¯t just run her beak over my body or bring one eye way too close like she normally did. The large bird seemed to recognize the bandages around my ankles¡ªor maybe she could smell the poultice the healer had used. Either way the next thing I knew I was being picked up by my collar before Anore made her way to an empty nest.

    Prevna and Ulo both laughed, but they sounded completely different. No doubt I looked like one of camp dog puppies being carried by the scruff by an impatient mother. Anore had gotten a hold of enough fabric on my back that she wasn¡¯t choking me, but I didn¡¯t like that I couldn¡¯t do anything but hang there until she settled into the nest and tucked me against her chest feathers. I almost tried to break free before I remembered that it would only make me look like a fool in front of the cohort. So I settled in and tried to pretend like the whole thing had been my idea.

    Prevna¡¯s head popped up over the rim of the nest so that she could grin down at me. ¡°Comfy?¡±

    Anore¡¯s feathers were soft and warm.

    ¡°Better than the snow.¡±

    Prevna chuckled and then yelped. Anore had plucked her up too, only to place her down next to me. Then the storm bird called out again.

    I heard Wren¡¯s voice next as she spoke to the group. ¡°Anore says that everyone is welcome to join her. Nesting is warm and makes everything better.¡±

    I would have bet that Wren would be the next one in after that announcement, but she fell behind coaxing Dera. Instead, surprisingly, Nii slipped in and settled near Anore¡¯s flank, so I couldn¡¯t see her unless I craned my neck. Loclen and Wren got Dera to settled on Anore¡¯s other side with a lot of coddling and promises that this bird wouldn¡¯t suddenly fling her through the air. The tribe member who had been helping comfort her disappeared elsewhere. Breck stayed up on the nest¡¯s rim instead of settling among the warm feathers. Juniper came and sat on my other side but, in a rare show of a rift between her and her guards, gestured for Ento and Idra to keep their distance. Idra looked more than ready to argue at that, but Ento dragged her away. Ulo and Andhi also didn¡¯t appear over the nest¡¯s rim. I wasn¡¯t sure if they were still right outside the hut or if they had gone back to the lakeside, but I also didn¡¯t care enough to try to check.

    I wasn¡¯t sure if it was out of boredom or something else, but Breck made use of her new perch to perform. She circled around the top of the nest as she chanted out a story with just enough of a lilt that it might have counted as singing. Blue-green light trailed her movements as she acted out various bits of the story she was telling or used gestures to better outline a scene.

    It wasn¡¯t a story I had heard before. One that must have come from her people in Haggler¡¯s Cliffs. The Cliff Cutter and the Hag. Breck told the story of a great monster, with claws that could cut through stone and legs strong enough that it leap across the chasms that littered the earth with ease. This monster, the Cliff Cutter, was the ruler of the cliffs and all the other creatures cowered before her. All but one. Her nemesis, the Hag, bowed to no one and nothing despite being an old woman with only her memories for company.

    One night the Cliff Cutter could no longer stand the Hag¡¯s attitude and the monster decided to attack the old woman¡¯s camp to make her break or die. The monster¡¯s assault was over almost as soon as it had begun. It got caught in a trap of sticky webbing placed in the entrance of the Hag¡¯s chasm that she had taken from another monster that cowered before the Cliff Cutter. The monster¡¯s terrible claws could do nothing against webbing it couldn¡¯t shift to reach and its powerful legs had nothing to kick but air. The old woman walked up to the monster and gutted it without a bit of fear. That night she had a hearty soup, and all of Breck¡¯s people remembered the lesson: weapons and power are nothing without planning and knowing how to effectively use the tools available to them.

    I appreciated the use of a trap in the climax of a story and I knew that Rawley would have too, if she ever heard it. Though it was a bit odd to hear the tale from Breck when she was always so focused on fighting and the clear importance she placed on her weapons.

    By the time she was finished telling the story, I had propped myself enough to see a bit over the lip of the nest. The area around Tufani¡¯s hut had filled with tribe members and they were taking turns performing on top of it. It must have been a common enough practice because I spotted Tufani in the crowd and she wasn¡¯t complaining about the couple dancing all over her living quarters. A few of the tribe members were even kind enough to bring us food and drink from the cooking fires. Their bitter bark cakes tasted slightly different from what I was used to and they didn¡¯t have river jewel berry juice. Instead the drink was made of some sweet and sour mixture that tasted good, but made me irritated because I couldn¡¯t place what it was made out of.

    Prevna and I talked as the night wore on, and I was able to keep it to its normal rhythm now that I didn¡¯t have to look over too often and I had that sack tied tight in my mind¡¯s eye. She did get me to promise to dance with her during one particularly weak moment when she pointed out that I had danced with Fellen last year. I don¡¯t think she regretted the low blow, though she did soften it with a smile and a light touch to my arm. I did everything I could to pretend like that wasn¡¯t all it took for me to do what she wanted, but neither of us was surprised when I finally rolled my eyes and said, ¡°Fine.¡±

    Juniper was a silent, sullen statue on my other side. She burrowed into Anore¡¯s feathers and stayed there, doing little more than staring at her knees. Sometimes one hand reached up to fiddle with the pearl dangling on her forehead. I could have tried to comfort her or done something, but everyone else was around and she clearly wanted to be left alone. So I let her be and hoped that she¡¯d be fine without landing another headache in my lap. Not that I really should be the one that she was coming to if she did want comfort or advice¡ªnearly anyone else in the cohort but Ulo would have been better at that.

    As far as I could tell, Nii kept quiet too except for when Breck dropped down to talk to her for a bit. Wren, Dera, and Loclen talked amongst themselves while occasionally drawing in Prevna and, more rarely, me. After awhile Ento and Idra returned but, after another silent exchange with Juniper, they settled on the opposite side of the nest. Andhi and Ulo ignored Anore¡¯s offer the entire night. I caught sight of them in the crowd before quickly dismissing them from my mind. I didn¡¯t need them ruining my mood.

    We all fell asleep against Anore¡¯s warm, comforting feathers until dawn broke and woke us up by shining light into our eyes. Which was how, after the initial excitement of the night, the first night of the Heartsong Festival finished quietly.

 Book 3 - Ch. 44: Tamers Whim

    I found myself prowling around the nesting area on the second night of the festival, trying to find Miyan, Tufani¡¯s granddaughter. She had the honor of being the ¡°goddess¡± in the tribe wide game of Petition the Goddess the rest of the cohort and I had been drawn into. Only those who were too old, too young to walk, or were too stuck up got the option to not play.

    It made sense as the second night had always been one of socialization and mischief and mayhem. The Rookery tribe might not follow the tradition of splitting down into individual tribes on the second night like I was used to in Grislander¡¯s Maw, given that there were no other tribes here, but they certainly had their own games to keep the night exciting.

    ¡°Petition the Goddess¡± hadn¡¯t sounded like the best name for a game when they first explained it, for multiple reasons, but others in the cohort knew their own version of it, and I figured it couldn¡¯t be terrible if lots of people kept playing it and no one was getting struck down for impersonating the goddess.

    The Rookery¡¯s version went like this: one person was chosen to be the goddess and went to go hide while everyone else waited around ¡°base¡±¡ªTufani¡¯s hut¡ªand counted to a hundred twice. Once all the counting was done the ¡°petitioners¡± left base to go try and find the pretend goddess. The first person to find her would become the goddess during the next round. However, there was a catch. If the pretend goddess had her eyes closed it signaled that she was safe to approach and the petitioners were supposed to hide with her. That round ended when all the petitioners found where the pretend goddess was hiding. However, if the goddess¡¯s eyes were open, then she was wrathful, and not safe to approach. In that case the finder was supposed to warn everyone else by yelling ¡°She watches!¡± and everyone had to run back to base before they got tagged by the pretend goddess. If you did get tagged then you had to tie a leather strip around your head to mark yourself as a shamble man and you could tag the others too before they reached base to turn them into shamble men too. That kind of round ended when everyone reached base or was tagged, the first one back got to be the new goddess.

    Sometimes people waited to warn everyone else so that they had a better chance to reach base first. Sometimes people tried to trick everyone into thinking the pretend goddess was wrathful when she wasn¡¯t so that they could be the first one to hide with her. Some people purposefully got tagged during a wrathful round so that they could run around and try to tag everyone else.

    It was chaotic and took forever given that the pretend goddess could hide anywhere in the Rookery¡¯s giant clearing, both levels, as long as they didn¡¯t go into someone¡¯s home. No one wanted their stuff accidentally broken.

    It was fun.

    I wasn¡¯t used to being part of such a big game. The only thing that came close was that terrible round of Hunter¡¯s Quarry that Jin put together. This¡­didn¡¯t have the same stress and stakes as that. I knew that Prevna had become a shamble man last round and she had promised to do her best to make sure I became one too during this round, but that wasn¡¯t nearly the same as being stalked by everyone else in the game.

    She even had her hair back in its customary buns. Thankfully.

    I shook my head to clear it of wherever that unnecessary line of thinking threatened to go and focused back on the hunt. Trying to track with footprints in the snow was next to useless. So many people had trampled through the area that the snow had become packed down and it would take a better tracker than me to pick out one footprint from the next. Rawley might have been able to do it, but even that was a long shot.

    Instead I went from nest to nest, checking each one just in case Miyan decided to curl up inside, while Tufani stumped along in front of me. She was playing, even with her bad leg, and if anyone knew where her granddaughter had hidden away it was probably her. Even if she didn¡¯t, she knew the Rookery better than anyone else.

    Tufani stopped walking in the middle of the path. ¡°I¡¯m not a beast to be stalked, girl.¡±

    I froze behind the current nest I had gone to check.

    She partially turned and pointed her walking stick in my direction. ¡°I mean you.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to give up and reveal myself, but it didn¡¯t seem like I had much choice. If I kept her waiting much longer when she clearly knew I was there I¡¯d only look like a fool. I couldn¡¯t help but glare a bit as I stepped out of my hiding place though.

    Tufani gestured for me to catch up to her. ¡°Whoever taught you did a decent job, but she seems to have forgotten to remind you not to scamper all over the place if you don¡¯t want to get caught.¡±

    I crossed my arms as I reached her. ¡°Rawley is the best lone huntress in my tribe.¡± Tufani didn¡¯t look particularly impressed so I ground out, ¡°And she only had a handful of months to teach me.¡±

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    That did get the reaction I wanted. Tufani said, ¡°A good mentor then. But that doesn¡¯t explain why you were following me.¡±

    I gestured to take in the rest of the Rookery. ¡°I thought you would know where to find Miyan.¡±

    Tufani chuckled and pointed with her cane again. ¡°Everyone knows she likes to hide in the goddess¡¯s tree. I¡¯m surprised the call hasn¡¯t gone out by now, but she must have decided to do a peaceful round for once.¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t playing?¡± My lips pressed together as I tried to keep embarrassment from showing on my face or in my voice.

    ¡°I enjoy a round or two and then duty calls.¡± Tufani considered me for a moment. ¡°Barra will be able to tell the others where you are before they worry too much and you did well during the test yesterday. You can join me.¡±

    ¡°To do what?¡± I kept near her side as she started walking forward again.

    Her smile was a bit conspiratorial. ¡°Check on the Carvers.¡±

    My step faltered before I caught myself, but I still didn¡¯t have words when I caught back up to her. Carvers? Less was known about them than even the whisper women. No one knew how they were chosen or made; how they learned how to carve mazes that trapped the body but not the soul; why the goddess allowed them to chop down Her trees in the first place when no one else dared to hurt as much as a branch.

    They weren¡¯t a group you just¡­checked on. I hadn¡¯t even thought there could be any in the area. Carvers were like someone from a Picker band claiming Sanctuary: everyone knew it happened, that they existed, but absolutely no one expected to ever come face to face with either.

    I frowned. ¡°We can¡¯t just go see Carvers.¡±

    Tufani raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°Why not?¡±

    I hated that kind of look that clearly said whatever answer I gave was bound to be wrong. I set my shoulders back and lifted my chin. ¡°Because the goddess wouldn¡¯t like it.¡±

    ¡°Bold claim, but the goddess hasn¡¯t seen fit to strike me down in the years past.¡±

    I tried a different tactic. ¡°Why do you have to go check on them?¡±

    Tufani¡¯s smile took on a sharper edge. ¡°Because I don¡¯t have black lips?¡± When she saw the barb hit home she waved it away. ¡°It¡¯s true, mostly they deal with the Scales, but my duty to visit is more¡­social than Tamer business. Magda would tan my hide if I didn¡¯t visit at least once a year after she set me straight all those years ago.¡±

    Her expression had softened with nostalgia, but I kept my tongue behind my teeth and didn¡¯t pry further. If I kept pushing for answers she might think better of her whim to take me along and I didn¡¯t want to miss this chance.

    We approached a large storm bird settled on the runaway the birds used to fly off the cliff. Something moved by the bird and I stiffened as a tribe member who looked vaguely familiar stepped out from behind the bird¡¯s other side. After a handful of moments of sorting through my memories I realized that he was the tribe member who had directed Miyan to lead us to Tufani when we first arrived at the Rookery.

    ¡°How¡¯s Cloud, Douwan?¡± Tufani asked.

    ¡°Still going strong just like you, mother,¡± the man replied with a slight smile.

    ¡°Good enough for one more?¡±

    Douwan¡¯s gaze flicked to me. ¡°She¡¯s going too?¡±

    Tufani nodded. ¡°It¡¯ll be good for her. Let her friends know that she¡¯s with me once you get back, if Barra hasn¡¯t already.¡±

    Douwan looked like he wanted to protest but he patted Cloud instead. ¡°She¡¯ll be fine. Won¡¯t you, girl?¡±

    The bird leaned into his attention while I privately wished I could protest Tufani¡¯s statement too. The cohort weren¡¯t my friends.

    Tufani focused on me. ¡°You got two options. You can either hang from Cloud¡¯s beak or, if you promise to do everything in your power not to headbutt me, you can join me in the saddle.¡±

    I was still sore from the inane lesson Tufani had taught us the night before and I wasn¡¯t exactly keen on getting back up on a bird so soon after being flung every which way, but I refused to miss this chance.

    I also refused to hang like a dead fish from a bird¡¯s beak again if I could help it. ¡°I won¡¯t headbutt you.¡±

    I¡¯d make it work. One way or another.

    Douwan produced extra saddle ties for me from somewhere and got Tufani¡¯s cane tied in place among the couple of jugs and sacks already tied to the saddle. Tufani had me climb up the ladder first before she settled on the saddle after me. It was a bit of a tight fit as the saddles were made for only one rider, but I knew better than to complain and Tufani didn¡¯t look like she even noticed as she rolled up the ladder and got it secured.

    Then we tied ourselves to the saddle and Tufani doubled checked my handiwork twice. After that she got us situated as well as it was going to get¡ªwhich meant she was laying half on top of me in the saddle while I squished to my right as much as I could. She apparently didn¡¯t like the ¡°trick riding¡± that some of the younger fliers did, which included sitting up in the saddle. That was more dangerous and made you less attuned to your bird¡¯s movements according to the Tamer.

    My skin crawled a bit at the body contact, but it helped that her hands were occupied with the saddle¡¯s handles and that she had little choice in the contacts I did. It was very¡­impersonal. Part of me wanted to ask if I could switch to the bird¡¯s beak but my pride wouldn¡¯t allow it. I might not be used to being so close to someone else but I could handle it. Prevna had helped with that.

    I realized that I didn¡¯t know how the fliers got the birds to go until Tufani said, ¡°Let¡¯s go smooth and steady, alright, pretty girl? We got a new passenger with us tonight.¡±

    Then she tapped her foot down on Cloud¡¯s back twice. Cloud rose up on her feet, shook herself a little bit¡ªI held the handles in a death grip¡ªand then began to run. I pressed my head down against the saddle so that I¡¯d be less likely to accidentally hit Tufani in the jaw. Long, jostling moments passed and then there was a moment of weightlessness before Cloud¡¯s wings flexed and we were flying.

    I peeked over the side to watch as Cloud gently circled higher and higher. Part of me felt bad disappearing without a word of warning again, but hopefully I¡¯d have a story that¡¯d make for it at the end of this.

    Tufani pressed her left foot down on Cloud¡¯s back again and Cloud banked in that direction, and just like that we were leaving the Rookery behind.

 Book 3 - Ch. 45: Enclave of Carvers

    Flying with Tufani was nothing like the previous couple of times I found myself in the air. Every change of direction, every flap of Cloud¡¯s wings, was smooth and gentle. Cloud responded instantly to Tufani¡¯s directions and Tufani seemed keenly aware of the bird¡¯s every movement and her condition. I could tell that things were a little bit awkward simply because I was there and no matter how I tried to press myself to the side, I was always partially in the way. Still, bird and rider made it look as simple as breathing.

    The only time I really had to worry about not hitting Tufani in the face was when we went to land. No matter how gentle Cloud was, she couldn¡¯t help the inevitable slight thump when her feet hit the ground again.

    From the air, it had looked nearly the same as the rest of the woodland, except for the odd long clearing Cloud landed in. From the ground, it immediately became clear that this wasn¡¯t some uninhabited bit of wilderness. Bits of twine hung from all of the surrounding trees, and each string supported small wooden sculptures. None were bigger than my hand, but they ranged from animals and plants to abstract shapes and decorations. Nothing practical.

    I stared at the blatant waste of wood. They could have served as tinder for a hundred different fires or, if they couldn¡¯t be burned, they could have at least been made into something useful. Bowls. Spoons. Other tools.

    Instead they hung there like every tribe I knew wasn¡¯t always scrambling to get their hands on fallen wood. Like the dead bits had every right to stay clinging to the living trees. Did the Carvers really have such free rein that the goddess let them do whatever they wanted with Her trees?

    Tufani commenting on my wide eyed stare as she finished getting the ladder and herself untied. ¡°Apprentice works.¡±

    ¡°They keep all of them?¡± I got to work unknotting my ties as well.

    She snorted as she shook her head. ¡°Only the ones deemed their ¡®mini masterwork¡¯. The piece that shows they¡¯re ready to start learning how to carve Mazes.¡±

    We slipped down the ladder and I went over to inspect one of the carvings while Tufani finished up with Cloud. A small reindeer hung over my head, too high to reach. Still, I could see that each delicate antler had been carved to perfect points and the spill of wildflowers around its hooves looked ready to sway in the breeze. It was more precise work than anyone I knew could do in their craft¡ªexcept for, perhaps, Fellen¡¯s mother when it came to weaving and felt work.

    Seeing the wooden sculpture up close made it seem like less like arrogant waste, even if it was still an extravagance. I could understand apprentices needing to practice, but part of me still didn¡¯t like seeing so much wood that had been shaped by human hand. Normally that was left to the goddess, or only for necessities, like spears. Not decorations.

    Tufani called me back over to her. She loaded me down with a jug and sack over one shoulder before she took up the rest and thumped forward with her cane in hand. Cloud seemed content to rest in the snowy clearing as I followed the Tamer into the woods.

    She gestured to a nearby tree with a tilt of her head. ¡°If you ever find yourself near another Carver¡¯s Enclave find the eyes and follow where they are looking. That¡¯ll get you to their door.¡±

    My gaze followed her gesture and I spotted an eye carved on the underside of the pine¡¯s branch. My heart skipped a beat¡ªit looked exactly like the goddess¡¯s eye, but rather than its pupil sitting front and center, it was focused down and to the side. I followed the carved eye¡¯s gaze only to find another eye carved in the trunk of a tree, just above its roots.

    After that I couldn¡¯t stop finding carved eyes. One chained into another and the next as long as you knew what to look for. Otherwise, they might have seemed like knots in the wood or someone¡¯s odd idea of worship. It didn¡¯t take long before we reached the end of the marked path: a large eye trailing stars carved into another tree trunk that stared straight back at us. There wasn¡¯t an obvious tree that it would have been pointing to and Tufani stopped walking. It didn¡¯t seem like she was lost, so I held my tongue and waited.

    Tufani glanced over at me. ¡°Just because you find their door, doesn¡¯t mean that they¡¯ll let you in.¡± Then louder toward the tree, ¡°May the fires burn and the stars catch my last wish.¡± The formality dropped from her voice as she continued, ¡°I brought the good stuff! I can either bring it back to the Rookery or you can let me and the girl in.¡±

    My mouth went dry as I watched a good portion of the tree¡¯s trunk split from the rest and swing open. It had looked as real as every other tree I had seen in my whole life. But I knew normal trees didn¡¯t have secret doors leading to hollow insides. Had it been a live tree once? Was the goddess really fine with one of Her trees being carved wide open?

    Lightning didn¡¯t strike down the figure standing inside the tree nor did any roots drag her below ground. A glow seemed to be coming from inside the tree, but it was too dim to bring back real color to the woman¡¯s features. She was thin with hair piled on top of her head, strong forearms, and a tunic dress that was belted around her waist. The belt had a variety of different pouches and tools hanging from it. I didn¡¯t spot any weapons though, not even a sling.

    She had an ageless quality about her and it made her seem like she could be anywhere from twenty to over five decades like Grandmother. Something else was odd about her too, but I couldn¡¯t quite put my finger on it given the contrasting shadows hiding half her features.

    The woman gestured lazily downward. ¡°Coming?¡±

    Tufani strode forward. ¡°If you take some of your gifts. That ladder will get the best of me this time otherwise.¡±

    The woman took the jug from Tufani like it was a precious prize before focusing on me. ¡°And who is this?¡±

    ¡°Gimley, one of the new Sprouts. A troublemaker but I thought you¡¯d be of interest to each other because of her blessing.¡±

    ¡°Interesting.¡±

    That was all the woman said before she adjusted her grip on the jug and disappeared down into where the ground and tree roots should have been. I peered into the fake tree to find that she had been standing on a stone lip that jutted out a few inches below the doorway. In turn a stone ladder descended straight down from the ledge. The glow was coming from there as well as some sounds of conversation.

    Tufani said, ¡°Follow Magda and I¡¯ll get the entrance.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t thrilled about climbing into the small space, and my mind tried to conjure memories of Flickermark¡¯s exit tunnel and the staircase tunnel in the Seed Landing, but I wasn¡¯t already spiraling so I focused on all the unexpected oddities the night had brought, things the memories had no way to cling to, and climbed down the ladder as quickly as I could with a jug in one hand and a sack over my shoulder.

    Thankfully, the space opened up around me by the time I was halfway down the stupid ladder. Once I reached the ground I turned to find a large cavern full of artificial beauty. Stalagmites had been painstakingly carved into miniature trees, mostly pines, but a couple were like the amber tree in the Seed Landing. Other stone outcroppings had been turned into mounds of delicate plants or carved wildlife. Across the chamber I spotted a carved bane pack sprinting and leaping after some invisible prey.

    But the thing that drew my eye the most was the head sized boulder glowing red hot in the middle of the cavern. It didn¡¯t scorch the rock around it, like the pine cone lanterns, but I could feel the warm heat it gave off and it was the main source of the light in the room. Some glowing moss helped brighten the darkest corners.

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    ¡°Our Ember.¡± Magda¡¯s soft voice drew my focus back to her and I realized a couple things.

    Her washed out coloring hadn¡¯t just been due to moonlight and shadows. Everything about her had an ashen, pale complexion, not exactly like the gray skin of the shamble men but not far from it either. Everything was duller like¡­she was missing something everyone else took for granted.

    The second thing I realized was that what I had initially taken as a smudge of shadow or dirt on her jaw was actually a bless mark. A very washed out bless mark that looked like it could be rubbed away with a bit of cloth and water.

    I bit back the questions pressing on my tongue and looked back at the chamber, this time focusing on the people I had ignored before. Some were grouped in conversation, others working on some project or another, and a handful more sleeping. There were women and men, no children though some looked like they couldn¡¯t be long past earning their mark of adulthood. And they all had the same ashy, washed out look as Magda. I doubted that all the women had bless marks, but I would have bet that all their marks looked the same as Magda.

    Tufani thumped down next to me and set her cane on the floor with a grateful sigh. ¡°I couldn¡¯t stop gawking the first time I came down here too.¡±

    I clicked my mouth shut and glared at her, momentarily distracted, which irked me more since that was probably her intention.

    Tufani looked more amused than impressed by my glare when she said, ¡°Ask your top question and then we¡¯ll get this stuff put away.¡±

    There were too many things that needed answers: how Tufani got involved with the Carvers, the odd state of the Carvers coloration and marks, the Ember, how they got the wood to make all their sculptures and Mazes, the stone carvings¡­

    I knew better than to take too long settling on a question though, so I went with the one that seemed the most pressing. I touched my jaw where Magda¡¯s bless mark would be. ¡°How can you be a Carver and not a whisper woman?¡±

    ¡°The wood called.¡± Her gaze got a faraway look. ¡°The shadows didn¡¯t.¡±

    I demanded, ¡°What does that mean?¡±

    Surprisingly, it was Tufani who answered, ¡°It¡¯s rare but from what I hear the boons don¡¯t always take.¡±

    And you couldn¡¯t be a whisper woman without them.

    Dread pooled in my stomach. That wasn¡¯t an option I had even considered before. Which was idiotic of me, but I had a bless mark and everyone who had a bless mark became whisper women. That¡¯s how it was supposed to work.

    But the whisper women wouldn¡¯t be nearly as effective without their boons. If for some reason one of the four refused to imprint on a seedling¡­that person would be cut out of vital skills that the whisper women relied on. If they couldn¡¯t travel through shadow then someone else would always have to take to them or if they didn¡¯t get the boon to wind whisper they wouldn¡¯t be able to hear or send the long distance communications that kept the whisper women informed. I wasn¡¯t sure if not getting dark sight or resistance to the elements would matter as much, but it would still put the seedling at a distinct disadvantage.

    Enough of a disadvantage that the goddess might decide you had no place among Her whisper women and sentenced you to become a different kind of servant.

    My gaze lingered on the men in the crowd. They couldn¡¯t have been seedlings once. Failing as a seedling couldn¡¯t be the only way to become a Carver. Nor did that failure explain the uniform washed out state they all had. That had to do with how someone became a Carver and it uncomfortably reminded me of shamble men and Picker band lips.

    I opened my mouth to ask another question but Tufani cut me off, ¡°Patience. Let¡¯s get our things taken care of and then we can see about answering more questions. I believe there might be some for you as well.¡±

    Magda led us over to a large nook burrowed into the cavern¡¯s right wall. However instead of placing the sacks and jugs inside like I expected, she gestured for me to go inside. ¡°Wait here.¡±

    I looked to Tufani, not liking the sound of that or the idea of being abandoned in an unfamiliar place.

    She tapped her cane against the ground. ¡°You¡¯ll be fine and we¡¯ll be back. I was only given permission to accompany Magda to the outermost inner chambers a handful of years ago.¡±

    The temptation to be difficult or clever tasted sweet on my tongue but I kept it in check. Perhaps if I had still been at the Rookery or among some other tribe, but I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to do so under the tight lipped Carver¡¯s gaze. After all, if I ever did die, it¡¯d be a Carver¡¯s Maze that helped my soul to the Silver Forest.

    Magda took up my sack with the others she was already carrying and then I was left alone in the cavern with only a jug for company. I sat on the edge of the nook rather than go all the way in even though it did have a nice mat to sit on. Instead I watched the other Carvers and they eyed me back.

    Nothing they did seemed that different from the people I was used to, but the more I had time to think about it, the more it seemed odd that they weren¡¯t celebrating the Heartsong Festival. No one danced or sang. There wasn¡¯t even festival foods or someone telling one of the myths. This seemed like a normal night to them; some people staying up to socialize or work on a project while others settled down for the night. Why wouldn¡¯t they celebrate the goddess and Her Beloved? Why wouldn¡¯t they take advantage of the chance to dance and sing and break from routine?

    I hated not having all the answers, but there was no way I was going to get them unless I marched up to someone and they were nice enough to reply. This didn¡¯t seem like the kind of place to appreciate that sort of behavior and I still wasn¡¯t keen to overstep. So, instead, I waited an eternity for for Tufani and Magda to return while I couldn¡¯t decide if I wished I hadn¡¯t followed the Tamer or not.

    When they returned they had another person in tow. The man had dark skin, though he still had the same washed out look as Magda. Despite the cold weather outside he wore a sleeveless tunic and pants with his long curly hair tied in a knot at the back of his head. He fiddled with a piece of wood as big as my hand and smiled at me when they reached the nook.

    Tufani introduced him. ¡°This is Ekail, Magda¡¯s partner. We thought he could answer your questions best while I catch up with Magda.¡±

    Ekail helped her take the large step up into the nook and then Tufani got settled onto the mat and set down the cups she had been carrying. Magda followed her and started organizing the portable game of circles and stones she had brought. Ekail settled on the nook¡¯s edge opposite of me, one knee tucked up near his chest, pulled a tool from the pouches on his belt, and started carving the piece of wood he had brought.

    I sat there and tried to adjust to this sudden shift in circumstances again. I didn¡¯t particularly want to talk to a man I didn¡¯t know, but it seemed like it was the only way I was going to learn more.

    Ekail took my staring out into the cavern as interest. ¡°The pine dripping with silk flowers is my favorite but don¡¯t tell the bane pack that. Those are my own work.¡±

    I blinked at him. ¡°A bane pack nearly captured me once.¡±

    He frowned slightly back. ¡°I heard they were more for killing and eating.¡±

    ¡°They are.¡±

    His frown stayed until his gaze caught on the dots on my chin. Then his expression cleared. ¡°Ah, those methods might not have worked the best for them with you?¡±

    I was getting tired of people recognizing me and knowing things I had never told them. It was even more unsettling that somehow that information had traveled all the way to the Carver¡¯s ears¡ªnor did sound like Tufani had been the one to reveal who I was.

    So I might have sounded a bit sulky when I responded, ¡°Not the killing part at least.¡±

    He nodded like this cleared up something else for him. ¡°No wonder then that Tufani thought to bring you along.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together and he caught the movement. His hands continued to work as he asked, ¡°What do you know of Carvers?¡±

    I shifted back further against the wall. It felt like a trick question. Of course I wouldn¡¯t know a lot about Carvers. ¡°More now.¡± He waited patiently and it reminded me of Rawley enough that I found myself adding more of an explanation. ¡°You make the Mazes that secure the body and release the soul after death. You carve little wood sculptures that others could burn for survival and you look like death warmed over.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t in the mood to be charitable any more even if he was a Carver. Tufani cut off in the middle of the story she was telling Magda to scold me, but Ekail stopped her with a raised hand as he burst into full bellied laughter. When he wiped his eyes a few moments later there was some annoyed muttering from the rest of the chamber but no one got on him about the loud noise.

    Tufani still got her scolding in before she returned to her story, ¡°Mind what I said about needling people, hm?¡±

    I glared at the ground in front of me but that was as much in annoyance at her as it was trying to avoid Ekail¡¯s gaze. I hadn¡¯t expected sincere, loud laughter from him, didn¡¯t know what to do with it, and I didn¡¯t want to accidentally provoke it again.

    ¡°We do, don¡¯t we?¡± He laughed again, but it was quieter. ¡°Well, that¡¯s as it should be.¡±

    That was enough to get my interest piqued again. ¡°Why is that?¡±

    His hands got back to carving. ¡°Other than you and Her Beloved we probably live the longest. But it¡¯s different for us. We don¡¯t have a blessing that keeps us from the stars.¡±

    My eyes were so wide it felt like they might pop from my skull. ¡°You live forever?¡±

    He shook his head. ¡°No, just longer. I think Old Ion is the oldest now at over two hundred naming days.¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    His smile got caught somewhere between proud and sad. ¡°You know that old myth about shamble men and getting locked in the Carver¡¯s Maze when you die if they touch you?¡±

    I nodded.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s two parts wrong and one part right. If you accept a shamble man¡¯s last wish then you have to become a Carver.¡±

    I licked my lips. ¡°Last wish?¡±

    ¡°True death.¡± He answered my next question before I could ask it. ¡°We take on their curse for them so they can finally rest.¡±

 Book 3 - Ch. 46: Pairs

    For all that Ekail was willing to talk after declaring that shamble men could die and Carvers took their curses, he gave away very little about the whole process. He talked about carving wood versus stone and how ¡°some people need a break from the goddess¡¯s eye to do their best work¡±. Not Magda though. Apparently, she had more patience for crafting dizzyingly intricate Mazes than any other Carver in their Enclave. He talked about how there were different enclaves spread out around the territory so that the whisper women wouldn¡¯t have to travel as far when they delivered the wooden coffins and that they didn¡¯t celebrate the Heartsong Festival¡­for reasons.

    And I couldn¡¯t press him on any of it because my mind was still caught on the fact that Carvers could live for hundreds of years after taking on a shamble man¡¯s curse, that those curses could be transfered, and that shamble men could truly die.

    It didn¡¯t make any sense.

    Shamble men were Her servants, bound to shamble around for eternity without souls for daring to entertain the thought they could ever rise up against Her. Everyone who had turned since Grislander did so because they committed the same crime of failing to follow to the goddess¡¯s decrees and passing on as they should in smoke and fire. It didn¡¯t matter that they couldn¡¯t burn themselves after death. The tribe was there to fill in the gap.

    That was understood. That made sense.

    For all that shamble men were referred to sometimes as Her true children, given how they were death walking, everyone knew better than to want to become one. To bear the curse or interact with them.

    And yet Her prized Carvers, the very people responsible for trapping the body so it was properly disposed of and sending the soul to the Silver Forest, were made from accepting the curse that their Mazes prevented.

    It was like the Black Handed Healers all over again. Something meant to be reviled or barely tolerated in times of need suddenly getting a place of recognition and power. Black Handed Healers got marked by the Beloved; Carvers got to scrape away at trees that everyone else could barely touch.

    Shamble men got to die and their undeath gave their curse bearers decades and centuries of more life.

    No matter how many times I repeated it it didn¡¯t make sense in a way that what I had been taught growing up could accept.

    But my mark kept me alive, in a sort of stasis, when I should have been dead. I didn¡¯t like to think about it, but Ekail was right when he pointed out that I was likely to become one of the longest lived people because of that.

    It was different from the Carvers¡¯ situation, but not by much. Perhaps it could even be considered its own curse if I was forced to keep surviving situations like being frozen solid for days on end. A situation I might have been caught in as punishment for healing someone without healer¡¯s beads.

    Tribe healers and Black Handed healers, shamble men and Carvers. Why did it seem like they got the worst and best the goddess had to offer for participating in the same thing? Unless, of course, you were a whisper woman or one the goddess¡¯s chosen¡ªthose were Her true favorites. As much as the goddess could have favorites when it came to anyone other than the Beloved.

    I didn¡¯t have an answer for any of it, so I turned the question on Ekail. ¡°Why would the goddess have you take shamble men¡¯s curse?¡±

    He broke off a long winded explanation about why he chose to carve the bane pack to consider his answer. ¡°Why give you your blessing or allow the Beloved her trials in the first place?¡± He shrugged. ¡°The goddess has a purpose for everything even if we can¡¯t see it and, I suppose, the number of shamble men might get overwhelming if they weren¡¯t taken care of.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t decide if that was the whole truth of it or if he was giving me a partial answer so I wouldn¡¯t press him on the point. For all I knew the Carvers might need the curse to make their Mazes work and he didn¡¯t want to divulge those secrets, but I couldn¡¯t let the question go so easily. ¡°Why did you accept a shamble man¡¯s curse?¡±

    Wrinkles crinkled the corners of his eyes as he smiled ruefully. ¡°It was that or never see Magda again. I figured being half dead was better than feeling that way.¡±

    I held my tongue back from needling that particular piece of questionable logic and tilted my head in Magda¡¯s direction. ¡°And her?¡±

    Magda blinked slowly before her intense gaze settled on me. ¡°To carve. One place, one focus.¡±

    ¡°That was worth losing your soul and being tied here?¡±

    ¡°It would have been. I live more now.¡±

    Ekail added, ¡°As far as we can tell we still have our souls but we did lose something else.¡± He held out his wrist so I could see the faint smudge of a dot there. ¡°No blessings, common or unique. We need the Ember to survive or we¡¯d have no way to make fire.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together. ¡°That¡¯s all?¡±

    This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Ekail laughed again but this time it sounded slightly pained. ¡°There might be more but it¡¯s not for outsiders to know.¡±

    Part of me still wanted to press for answers, but one glance at Tufani shut that notion down. She wouldn¡¯t allow me to blatantly fish for more information when I had already been told no.

    Instead I turned my questions in a new direction. ¡°How do you die if you bear the shamble men¡¯s curse?¡±

    ¡°That I can answer.¡± Ekail settled back against the wall. ¡°We pass it on, just like we take it in the first place. One generation after another until it loses all its power and breaks. No one here has an original curse. Old Ion¡¯s is second generation, but last I heard there were only a handful of first generation.¡±

    ¡°How do you pass it on?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll find that out if you ever become a Carver.¡± I stared at him and he must have seen the obvious dread on my face because he added, ¡°It¡¯s not as bad as you might think.¡±

    I¡¯d rather deal with my blessing than accept anything from a shamble man and spend my days carving wood. Especially when what the Carvers got out of the deal sounded similar to my blessing but with more drawbacks.

    ¡°Did you want to live longer?¡± I asked.

    Ekail blew a bit of wood dust off the carving he was still working on. ¡°I thought it was a decent trade.¡±

    ¡°How old are you?¡±

    He winked at me. ¡°It¡¯s not nice to ask a man his age.¡±

    Magda immediately ruined the suspense. ¡°Ninety eight. I¡¯ve reached my hundredth year.¡±

    Ekail rolled his eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t ruin the fun just because you wanted to brag.¡±

    All he got as a reaction was the smallest upturn to one corner of her lips.

    Ekail focused back on me. ¡°Any other questions?¡±

    I shook my head. I had a dozen other things I wanted to ask but I had little doubt that I¡¯d get a straight answer for any of them. If he wouldn¡¯t talk about how they passed on the curse then he wouldn¡¯t talk about the Mazes or any of their other secrets. I knew better than to push too hard for answers that the person didn¡¯t want to give. Better to wait and hope a chance arose when they were in a better mood or put the pieces together myself from what I observed.

    Ekail fell into conversation with Tufani and Magda while I mulled over everything I had learned and what it might mean. I still had a bit of trouble accepting that anyone would want to take on a shamble man¡¯s curse despite the proof in front of me.

    Sometime later Tufani declared that it was time for us to go and Ekail slipped the little figurine he had finished carving into my hands. I flinched a bit at the contact but I didn¡¯t drop it.

    He gestured to the little storm bird that looked like it was about to take flight. ¡°Keep it.¡±

    I closed my fingers around it and nodded, not quite sure what to make of the gift or the man, but it was a pretty carving. If nothing else it¡¯d prove that this entire night had been more than a fever dream.

    Tufani wasn¡¯t entirely steady on her feet after helping down a jugful of ¡°the good stuff¡±. Still, she managed to cross over to the ladder and climb without tripping over her feet or her cane. As soon as we were back out in the woods the hidden door in the tree trunk swung closed like it had never been.

    Tufani pressed another bird figurine into my hands. This one was intricately detailed and looked like it was sleeping in a nest. ¡°Give that¡­give the bird to your friend.¡± She concentrated for a moment. ¡°Prevna.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    She waved my protest away. ¡°Magda caves¡ªcar¡ªmakes one every year.¡± Her hand landed on my shoulder. ¡°Go.¡±

    I shoved down the impulse to slip out of her grasp and put the new carving in a pouch with the other one before I carefully started searching out the eye carvings to lead us back to the clearing. I couldn¡¯t help but wondering if Tufani brought me along so she could indulge more than normal or if she managed to stumble back to the right place every year on her own.

    It was slow going, following the hidden path in reverse with Tufani dragging on my shoulder, but we managed to find Cloud dozing in the clearing with easily enough. That was when the worry that had burned at my gut ever since I noticed Tufani¡¯s drunkenness flared up. She might have gotten us here but how was she supposed to be lucid enough to give Cloud directions on the way back?

    Tufani thumped over to Cloud with more confidence than I thought was deserved before she patted th bird on the beak and made her way with a bit if difficulty into the saddle. I climbed up after and double checked every knot she made as she tied her cane and herself in place.

    She noticed and bopped me on the back of the head with one hand. ¡°I¡¯ve been doing this longer than you¡¯ve been alive.¡±

    That sounded surprisingly lucid so I got myself tied in place and squished myself into the side of the saddle again. I couldn¡¯t deny that my grip was knuckle white on the handles though. Tufani got herself in place and pointed forward with an outstretched arm. ¡°Home!¡±

    That didn¡¯t sound anything like her normal volume. I was about to protest flying with a drunken leader but Cloud was already running, flapping, taking off. I clung on and prayed that we didn¡¯t end up lost or falling off.

    I needn¡¯t have worried. Even with Tufani¡¯s lackluster awareness and directions that consisted more of praising the bird than any actual input, Cloud knew her way home. We landed near Tufani¡¯s hut to a mostly wound down celebration. Groups were spread out among the nests, some snuggling with the birds, others entertaining themselves quietly or eating the last bits from the cooking fires.

    Prevna launched herself from the top of Tufani¡¯s hut as soon as Cloud touched down. Dera was a step or two behind her and I narrowed my eyes at her as I got myself untied.

    Their eyes widened at Tufani¡¯s unsteadiness but I got the Tamer¡¯s cane down and in her hands before she slipped on the snow. Tufani¡¯s son appeared from somewhere and waved us off with an assurance that he could Tufani in her hut and take care of Cloud on his own.

    As soon as we had given them some space Prevna rounded on me. ¡°We were supposed to dance together.¡±

    I heard the real reprimand she wasn¡¯t saying. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to leave this time.¡±

    ¡°Where did you go?¡± I glanced over at where Dera was hovering and Prevna caught it. ¡°She kept me company all night.¡±

    I didn¡¯t like that. Didn¡¯t like it at all even though I knew Dera was probably only being nice. So I purposefully pulled out the intricate bird that Magda had carved and pressed it into Prevna¡¯s hands. ¡°A gift from a Carver.¡±

    Prevna blinked once at the wooden figurine and again at the mention of a Carver before visibly pulling herself together. She forced a bit of her usual playfulness into her voice. ¡°You better come get me the next time you go on an adventure.¡±

    ¡°Carvers?¡± Dera asked, eyes wide.

    I sighed and gave them the very short version of it. Tufani had taken me with her on a whim because she wanted to get drunk without worrying. Prevna could hear about the interesting bits that turned my world upside down later. The short version was enough to shock them all on its own.

 Book 3 - Ch. 47: Conditional Courage

    Prevna got her dance on the third night of the festival. It wasn¡¯t exactly the night for dances, since the first night was the one known for that, but Prevna could be nearly as persistent as me when she wanted to be.

    She dragged me up on top of Tufani¡¯s hut, in full view of anyone who cared to pay attention, and I let her lead me through a short sequence dance that consisted of three repeated sets of steps because I¡¯d never have peace otherwise. Two of the sets were different from the version I knew, but that wasn¡¯t too surprising given that she had grown up in a Picker band. With people from all different tribes some things were likely to get changed or melded together. Even with the changes the dance was simple enough for me to follow along.

    Prevna grinned at me as the blue-green light floated up around her face and she gripped my hand to swing me around to where she had just been. I gave her a tight smile back and her gaze flicked to where we had just touched, concerned. I twitched my head in denial, that wasn¡¯t it, and gripped her hand a little tighter the next time we switched places. One last exchange and the dance was done.

    Prevna leaned close as we left the makeshift stage. ¡°Too much?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± I shook my head. ¡°But that¡¯s the only dance you get.¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°You can jump into giant snake maws but you can¡¯t dance more than once in a night?¡±

    For all of the sarcasm I could tell that she was relieved she hadn¡¯t accidentally pushed past my tolerance. She might test the boundaries, but somehow she always seemed to know what would take her actions from annoyance to crossing a line.

    ¡°I¡¯d rather do something I¡¯m good at it.¡±

    ¡°It was fun.¡±

    I gave her a sidelong look before I nodded, and a small, real smile dangerously appeared on my lips. She grinned back and gestured to the tribe spread out before us.

    ¡°What next?¡±

    I considered. The Rookery tribe was starting to split up into family groups as the communal feast that marked the beginning of the third night of the Heartsong Festival wound down. Someone was singing in the distance but, like us, they were part of the minority. Though I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if the singing and dancing picked back up once everyone was tucked safely into their huts or spread out over the Rookery.

    From what I knew Tufani would be joining her family and Barra had disappeared somewhere. The rest of the cohort and us would be left to entertain ourselves. It wasn¡¯t difficult to picture all the ways that could go wrong.

    Ulo and Andhi still couldn¡¯t stand the sight of me and I was more than content to ignore them in return. Ulo couldn¡¯t stand that either and I was just waiting for her to start another fight.

    Nii seemed to be somewhat on the outs with the pair and was instead spending more time with Breck and Loclen. I didn¡¯t know exactly had prompted that particular break but I couldn¡¯t deny that she had picked better company this time around.

    Juniper¡¯s little cohort was also cracking apart. She was understandably upset about her supposed guards letting her get thrown into empty air when we all knew how she was with heights. Prevna said that Idra was upset because everyone had gone through the same thing and that Juniper was acting more like a little girl than a whisper woman. The argument continued that Juniper didn¡¯t think that becoming a whisper woman was nearly as important as returning to their tribe and that she should be able to trust her fellow tribe members most. Idra argued back and Ento kept out of it except to occasionally act as a peace keeper.

    It ended up that Juniper spent more and more time with Dera, Prevna, and me. I didn¡¯t like the intrusion and everyone knew I didn¡¯t appreciate the sudden increase in company, but Prevna¡¯s presence kept me from needling the others at every turn.

    Which was why Dera and Juniper were waiting for us in front of Tufani¡¯s hut. I glowered, just a bit, and tried to decide on what we could do that didn¡¯t include training, pointless fights, or pure pettiness. I wasn¡¯t exactly well-versed in games we could play and somehow I doubted that slinking off to spend the night on my own like I normally did would be taken well.

    Then I remembered the time Prevna had found me at the end of the last Heartsong Festival. ¡°I have a lake tribe tradition we could do.¡±

    Prevna immediately looked suspicious. Dera and Juniper didn¡¯t know enough to realize the danger and looked intrigued.

    Still, we made our way to the upper lake and the closer we got to the icy water the more Dera and Juniper realized this might be a mistake.

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    ¡°What tradition is this again?¡± Dera asked.

    ¡°Something simple.¡± I could tell that she wanted more of an answer than that but she wasn¡¯t brave enough to force the issue.

    We stopped next to one of the ribs along the shore so we had access to one of the unfrozen sections of the lake. I pointed at the water lapping at the shore. ¡°We see who can stay in there the longest.¡±

    Dera looked at me like I had forgotten something important. ¡°It¡¯s freezing.¡±

    I just looked back at her.

    ¡°Racing would be more interesting,¡± Prevna pointed out.

    Juniper¡¯s jaw set like she had something to prove. ¡°I¡¯ll do it.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll win,¡± I countered.

    We stripped out of our clothes so we¡¯d at least have something dry to wear when we got out of the water while Dera decided she¡¯d be act as a Scale and judge who won.

    ¡°Three, two, one!¡± Dera dropped her arm and we jumped into the water.

    As soon as the water closed over my head I knew something was wrong. Prevna and Juniper rushed ahead, trying to be the first to touch the ice and come back to the shore while I¡­

    I froze.

    Freezing, aching cold. Unable to breathe, to blink. Stuck to a tree branch unable to do anything but think and hope and dread. Frozen and forgotten that¡¯s all I¡ª

    Arms hooked under my armpits and I was choking on water which wasn¡¯t right. That wasn¡¯t how it went at all. I landed on something soft and freezing in its own right before a hand was thumping against my back. I spluttered out the water that had tried to drown me and flailed a bit to get whoever was hitting me to stop.

    Prevna leaned over me. ¡°Are you okay now?¡±

    I coughed and nodded. ¡°Breathing.¡±

    Dera stared from a few steps away. Her face was an odd splotchy mess of flushed with exertion and pale with fear. ¡°What happened? You stopped moving as soon as you hit the water¡­¡±

    Juniper was dressing now that the danger was past but she clearly wanted an answer for my terrible performance as well. Prevna tossed me my clothes and she followed Juniper¡¯s example though she was clearly reluctant to leave my side.

    I shoved my head into my tunic so I wouldn¡¯t have to look at any of them. ¡°It was a bad idea.¡±

    ¡°And?¡± Juniper prompted.

    ¡°Being frozen alive didn¡¯t leave me with the best memories.¡± The answer slipped out before I could bite it back.

    ¡°Oh.¡± That was Dera. She tried to save the situation. ¡°Tufani said we could use her hut since she¡¯ll be with her family if we don¡¯t want to all crowd in ours.¡±

    It didn¡¯t really solve anything except give us a closer place to warm up, but that was better than nothing. Even if heading back to where we just were added an extra edge to my¡­irritation.

    I should have known better. Known that enclosed in water one step away from freezing wouldn¡¯t ground me in the present any more. Now it belonged with small spaces and being called clever and the rest of the memories that tried to drag me under. And Dera and Juniper had seen.

    I wanted to run away. Escape their glances and concern and shock. Lash out at something. And I would if anyone gave me an easy opening.

    But I couldn¡¯t leave. Not with Prevna right there and her own quiet plea for me not to chose a snow storm and solitude over her again. She couldn¡¯t do much to help but I couldn¡¯t deny that it was nice that she wanted to. Besides, now all I mostly had to deal with was the burn in my throat from throwing up lake water and shivering¡ªthis memory hadn¡¯t clung as close as some of the others. Running into the woods wouldn¡¯t help with either of those.

    So we returned to Tufani¡¯s hut and ducked inside to find Breck, Loclen, Nii, and Wren inside. They were all tucked around the table, sipping on drinks, while they traded stories.

    Wren blinked up at us while Chirp twittered indignantly at the interruption. ¡°Did you jump from the ribs?¡±

    Juniper¡¯s face darkened. ¡°No. We raced and I won.¡±

    Wren congratulated her and finished welcoming us in. ¡°Well, if you want something sweet there¡¯s more to drink by the fire. Otherwise, Nii was in the middle of telling a tale if you want to settle down for awhile and warm up.¡±

    We did as she said and I grabbed a spare blanket from one of the shelves to wrap myself in. Prevna got me some of the sweet drink and it helped warm me up even if it was a bit too sweet. Then Nii gave us the short version of what we had missed out on in her tale before she continued on.

    It turned out that she was from the southern region of the goddess¡¯s territory on the edge of Her great forest. Not the area we had fought along the shore but that just showed how fast that particular forest was. Nii told the story of huntress who could bring down any monster with her sling and a single stone.

    Breck took over storytelling next and then Wren. One by one everyone told a different tale. Some were short and straight to the point, others more epic and interesting with their word play. Dera told one particularly far fetched tale about the ice folk but it seemed like nearly everyone got caught up in the idea of mastering a skill with only the help of a single sip from the ice folk¡¯s hidden pond.

    I think most of the others had crowded together in an attempt to stave off the realization that this was their first Heartsong Festival without their tribe. Today, the day for family, perhaps that change felt particularly keen. Stories and sharing a bit of home helped to soothe the loss. Technically, this was my first festival away from the Gabbler Shore tribe but I couldn¡¯t say I particularly missed the change, except for the lack of a couple of people. I noted sourly that my experience had prepared me more for being separated from what I knew.

    Finally, everyone else had gone and I realized that they were expecting me to pay my due with a story of my own. With this, at least, I had plenty to pick from.

    ¡°Have you heard about the time the Beloved convinced the goddess to grow the Seedling Palace?¡±

    Of course most of them had, but I continued on anyways. That made things simpler and like that the night passed quietly with stories and warmth. It wasn¡¯t how I expected the night to go, but I¡¯d take it, especially if it meant burying the memory of my boasting and immediate failure.

    That was the last bit of peace we had before Tufani dropped us down the advanced shoots in the morning. From there it was a desperate struggle to improve or convince Tufani that they really didn¡¯t need to fly yet¡ªDera and Juniper¡ªas we all remembered our lesson at the beginning of the festival.

 Notice about Book 3 - Ch. 48

    So unfortunately I still haven''t quite got the hang of my new schedule with my new job, needy pets, writing, and other obligations, so I won''t have the story ready by 8 pm tonight. I really hate it when I don''t meet the deadline, especially because I know one chapter a week is a pretty slow release schedule, so I''m going to do my best to still get the chapter out tonight but it''ll be several hours late probably--at best. At worst, it''ll be out on Friday at the very latest as I won''t have a lot of time to write tomorrow. This chapter has been more difficult to write unfortunately as some character interactions aren''t ringing true, so I''m trying to get it to a length and quality that is good enough for you, the readers, and the story itself.

    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    I very much apologize for the unexpected delay and I will do my best to make sure this doesn''t happen again, especially in the near future! Thank you so much for reading and for your patience!

 Book 3 - Ch. 48: Reservations

    I crouched in the branches of the feathered tree and did my best not to breathe. I had been too restless to sleep given that our first real solo flights were supposed to happen this morning, so I had stepped through the shadows to come up and see the storm birds before training started. Remind myself that they weren¡¯t all set on flinging me into open air.

    But, instead, my unexpected trip placed me in the middle of an argument between Tamer and Tracker as they faced off by the trunk of the tree.

    ¡°¡ªold to be waiting out here for you like this,¡± Tufani sounded somewhere between irritated and disappointed.

    Barra held her ground. ¡°Your hut isn¡¯t far.¡±

    ¡°And why would I miss out on catching you red-handed? We both know you didn¡¯t have those extra little bits when you left earlier so I won¡¯t hear a word on the idea that they came from your stash.¡±

    ¡°The glass won¡¯t be missed.¡±

    ¡°You risk bringing the goddess¡¯s eye on all of us. A handful of chips maybe once a year, I can understand why that would be beneath Her notice, but going every night you think you can spare sleep to chip pouches full?¡±

    ¡°She gave me my blessing.¡± There was a long pause full of expectant silence before Barra added, ¡°The goddess has more important things to worry about than a half-destroyed statue.¡±

    ¡°If the goddess wanted that statue entirely gone I¡¯ve no doubt it¡¯d be rubble. But half still stands. You shouldn¡¯t grab fistfuls of what She hasn¡¯t offered.¡±

    ¡°She hasn¡¯t protested.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯ll be dead or a shamble man if She does. Did you not hear me, girl? Taking a few bits every year might be beneath the goddess¡¯s notice when that would barely make a noticeable dent in your lifetime, but now you seem determined to steal the statue¡¯s whole head.¡±

    Barra¡¯s posture stiffened but her voice stayed as cool as ever. ¡°The goddess punished the gorger, not me.¡±

    ¡°You mean the Sprouts you got to do your work for you and nearly died because of it.¡±

    ¡°Should I be chipping the glass myself or not?¡±

    Tufani¡¯s cane thumped against the ground. ¡°Perhaps it¡¯s time to leave it alone. I don¡¯t see the goddess taking kindly to you encouraging the destruction of Her sister¡¯s image.¡±

    ¡°Why would the goddess care? It¡¯s an old relic being put to better use.¡±

    Tufani sighed, exasperated. ¡°Greed doesn¡¯t become you, girl.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps as an old woman you¡¯ve forgotten the respect due to whisper women.¡± Barra had a bit more bite in her voice than I had ever heard before.

    Tufani snorted. ¡°Oh, aye, I¡¯ll remember that when you remember that you are standing in my territory and are beholden to my birds and are here at my request. I managed before you came and I can manage after if you¡¯d rather I revoke that request and send you back to the Beast Watchers.¡±

    I stared down through the needles and feathers, surprised that Barra suddenly had nothing more to say, that Tufani had requested her presence and that the request had been accepted, even as I sorted through what I had already heard.

    Really, I shouldn¡¯t have been surprised that Barra had started to directly pilfer glass from the statue. Not if she encouraged the Sapling advisers to risk new Sprouts to get glass chips for her and, from what I had seen when we first arrived in the Rookery, she certainly didn¡¯t discourage it.

    It was just that I hadn¡¯t thought she¡¯d be the type to put in that kind of effort. To get down on her hands and knees and spend hours chipping glass. As far as I could tell the only thing she really focused on was Juniper¡¯s shadow walking training¡ªand that mostly consisted of advice and a lecture or two. No hard labor. Her light colored clothing and the glass dripping all over her would have been more than a little impractical for it.

    I could understand why she wanted the glass. She needed it for her blessing and glass wasn¡¯t easy to come by. There was a myth about a field turning to glass after a lightning storm, but I had never seen anything like that, and yet there was a huge supply not far away taunting Barra. Only mostly of reach because a corpse gorger haunted the area.

    So she had young girls who didn¡¯t know better go and get it for her. To be fair, she likely had made some trips herself or I didn¡¯t think she¡¯d have extra to wear that didn¡¯t need to go on a storm bird. That didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t blame her for the unnecessary risk, even if I was starting to see a pattern of whisper women throwing seedlings into dangerous or difficult situations without a thought for consequences. If we made it through, great, we were probably more skilled or stronger because of it, and if not, well, we should have known our limits.

    I couldn¡¯t blame them for that line of thinking even when I didn¡¯t like being repeatedly faced with the choice to sink or swim. Not when it was similar to the goddess¡¯s own way of dealing the people in her territory. No one could question Her.

    Tufani spoke again, ¡°So what will it be? Go back to trudging over all the nooks and crannies of the goddess¡¯s territory looking for monsters and inspecting trees? Or stay here and keep your hands off the statue unless we can¡¯t find another glass source?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t trudge.¡±

    Both Tufani and I knew that wasn¡¯t a real promise to obey Tufani¡¯s ultimatum, but the Tamer relented. ¡°Fine.¡± She waved Barra off. ¡°Go get your beauty sleep. The Sprouts should be starting their morning run soon and I want to make sure none of them are slacking off.¡±

    At that reminder of the time, I shot another look at the storm bird nests, promised myself that if this was another crazed flight I¡¯d track down the nest of the bird I rode and make them regret it. Then, after a long pause to see if there was anything else I could eavesdrop on, I slipped back into the shadows and arrived back in the lower section of the Rookery before Tufani could make her way over to the cliff¡¯s edge and realize I wasn¡¯t in the hut like I belonged.

    - -

    Anore ran her giant beak over my head for the fifth time as I tried to triple check my knots and the placement of the saddle on her back. Of course she was one of the birds we were training with for our first official flight and Tufani had assigned her to me since I was going first.

    As she put it, ¡°You¡¯ve had more time in the air than the rest of your cohort. Put it to good use and show them how it¡¯s done.¡±

    That set Ulo and Idra fuming, Andhi frowning, while Breck, Prevna, and Loclen got competitive gleams in their eyes. Wren tried to be encouraging while Juniper and Dera still looked like they wished they could anywhere else. Nii and Ento shared a look I couldn¡¯t read and didn¡¯t really care to figure out.

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    Tufani checked my work and nodded. ¡°Remember your foot signals that we¡¯ve been practicing this past week, but if you forgot Anore will circle the Rookery once and land.¡±

    I nodded back and climbed up into the saddle. We were supposed to fly in a wide arc over the edge of the Rookery until we reached the middle of the upper lake and then direct our bird to turn and fly back the way we came before landing smoothly on the runway.

    After I knotted myself in place, Tufani checked my work again before she climbed back down the ladder and told me to go whenever I was ready.

    I couldn¡¯t decided if I was or not, but I didn¡¯t want the others to think I was hesitating, so I shifted downward so my feet could reach Anore¡¯s feathered back more easily, gripped the handles in a death grip, and tapped my foot twice against her back.

    Anore shifted and then she was running, sprinting, wings spreading¡ªand we were in the sky. There was an odd moment of weightlessness as she ran off the edge of the cliff before she flapped her wings and let out a happy cry. We rose in the air and I realized it was difficult to see where we were going with how far back I had shifted and laying flat on my stomach like Tufani taught us to do. Most of my view was taken up by flapping wings and the back of Anore¡¯s head.

    I didn¡¯t want to have to shift forward and back the entire time I was trying to direct Anore, so I made the split second decision to try another tactic. Keeping my hands locked on the handles I got my knees beneath me and sat up on my heels. Cold wind tried to pull me from the saddle and made tears slide from my eyes more strongly than it had when I had been laying down, but I stayed in the new position. Even if I had to squint I could see where we were going now.

    Very, very carefully I shifted my weight and reached one foot back to press into Anore¡¯s left side. She arced in that direction until I lifted my foot. I wobbled as I got settled again but I didn¡¯t slip from the saddle. We were headed for the upper lake now.

    It was nothing like being flung this way or that through the air or dangling from a bird¡¯s beak. Anore¡¯s flight was smooth and controlled, not even the flapping of her wings jostling from my place. It was comparable to flying with Tufani to the Carvers¡¯ Enclave, but not quite the same.

    I hadn¡¯t been in control then but I was now.

    I grinned.

    Tufani had drilled us with the advanced shoots for the past week but they had been nothing compared to the test during the first night of the festival and now that extra effort hardly seemed worth it. Some of the other girls had still had difficulty with them, and I knew every little bit of practice helped, but this flight felt more like the beginner shoots than the rest of our practice.

    We approached the middle of the upper lake so I reached my foot back again and made a circle in her feathers before pressing my foot against her right side. This time she turned in a tighter arc, a bit of dive propelling her along. The wind and pressure tried to pull me free from the saddle again but I held on, and Anore completed her quick turn.

    I tucked my foot back under me and enjoyed the sheer freedom I had on her back, the amount of control as she responded easily to each of my directions. Nothing to confine me. No one else to call the shots.

    No wonder the Rookery revered their birds so much.

    I could clearly remember how easily it could all go wrong, the panic and fear, but it felt distant. Like there was no way for the two realities to overlap. Anore had saved me from a storm, she wouldn¡¯t become it.

    I adjusted her flight a couple more times so that we on the correct path to land on the runway before I tapped her three times. The signal to land.

    Her landing was nearly as smooth as her flight had been but I still nearly got jostled from the saddle as I lost my balance from sitting up on my heels. I had to let go of one handle to stop my face from smashing into leather which let my ribs connect with the one I still held. I hissed in pain but, thankfully, it didn¡¯t feel nearly as bad as the time I caught myself on a railing in the Seedling Palace.

    Anore slowed and settled, and I was able to shove myself up and take stock. I¡¯d have a bruise but everything else was fine. Next time I¡¯d lay back down for the landing.

    Tufani called out, ¡°Feeling the consequences of ignoring my teachings right away?¡±

    I glared back at her as I started to untie myself and the ladder. ¡°I couldn¡¯t see and give her commands at the same time. So I improvised.¡±

    She took in my lack of height. ¡°I¡¯ll have one of the shorter fliers give you tips.¡±

    I wanted to another pointed comment back about the fact that she could have thought of that earlier, but I held my tongue. I wasn¡¯t in the mood for a lecture and I knew she¡¯d point out her earlier warning about my needling others.

    So I got down, untied the saddle, checked over Anore, and got out of the way so that Breck and her bird could go next. Prevna smiled playfully at me as I rejoined the group and made a show of resting her chin on my head. She wasn¡¯t really tall enough to do it comfortably and she stopped as soon as I swatted her, but her point was made. I was short, she wasn¡¯t, and she was proud of her baseless accomplishment. Nor was it fair that if she kept getting taller like she had been then it might not be long before she could put her chin on my head as easily as she wanted.

    Well fine. She could bang her forehead on all the low hanging branches and I would take full pleasure in smirking back at her without even needing to duck.

    Breck¡¯s flight went well and she didn¡¯t have any trouble on the landing. Of course, she was also tall enough to see and give her bird directions while laying flat in the saddle. I scowled at her and her victorious smile widened. I did my best to ignore her smug face after that. Scowling anymore at her would only strengthen her victory.

    One by one the others took their flights. Each one was smooth, controlled, easy. Nothing like what we had been thrown into before though I had some suspicions that Wren chatted with her bird more than actually using the proper signals with her feet.

    Despite that Dera was nearly in tears again when it was her turn to go. She looked like Tufani was banishing her from the tribe rather than giving her the chance to fly through the sky. Tufani took pity on her and her big round eyes. Dera only had to get the saddle on correctly, herself tied in place, and then hang on while Anore took her on a shorter circuit, no foot directions needed.

    Tufani climbed the ladder to make sure she was secured safely and give Dera last minute assurance. When she climbed back down I could tell that her bad leg was bothering her more from going up and down the ladders to check our work, but she didn¡¯t let the pain reach her face even if she did lean more heavily on her cane.

    Then the Tamer whistled and Anore took off for another flight. Dera let out a short scream as the large bird started running before she ducked her head down against the saddle and did her best to pretend it wasn¡¯t happening.

    They were barely in the air for a minute or two before Anore swooped back down onto the runway. Dera took a long, long moment to prop herself back up from the saddle. The all encompassing fear was gone but she still didn¡¯t look comfortable and, once she realized how close the ground was, she scrambled to untie herself and climb down. Tufani congratulated her on her bravery and effort. Wren and Loclen took on the job of cheering her up further again too.

    Juniper got the saddle on her bird and resolutely went to climb the ladder before she froze halfway onto the storm bird¡¯s back. Idra clicked her tongue and crossed her arms at the display. They still weren¡¯t getting along. Ento nudged her and whispered something in her ear but Idra didn¡¯t fully relent. She got as far as uncrossing her arms and glaring at the ground instead of Juniper.

    In the end, Tufani had to do the quick flight Dera had gone on with her. From what I could tell Juniper hated every minute of it but she kept herself from screaming her head off like she had before. Tufani helped to get her untied as she lay statue still in the saddle and then guided her carefully down the ladder. Once Juniper reached the ground there was a tense moment of stillness before she seemed to come back to herself and noticed us all staring. Then her face got all blotchy and she sprinted away.

    I hoped that didn¡¯t lead to needing another rescue mission but I didn¡¯t go after her. If anyone was going to it should have been Ento and Idra but they were too wrapped up in whatever feud they had going on to chase after her. Wren might have gone too, but she was too busy comforting Dera.

    Prevna nudged me and leaned close to talk softly in my ear, ¡°What do you say? Five minutes or ten before we go check on her?¡±

    I glowered back at her and she chuckled. ¡°Five then, to get it over with. Don¡¯t worry I know where she probably went.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have to go.¡± Prevna didn¡¯t look remotely swayed so I added, ¡°She probably wants to be alone.¡±

    ¡°She might, but I think she could do with one of your pep talks.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t do pep talks.¡±

    Prevna slapped me lightly on the shoulder and grinned. ¡°Exactly! That¡¯s why she¡¯ll listen.¡±

    Tufani let us all have a break until the midday meal ended and, somehow, I found myself begrudgingly following Prevna to go¡­talk sense into Juniper.

 Book 3 - Ch. 49: Past and Future Purpose

    ¡°Go away.¡±

    Prevna gave me a knowing look that stopped me from taking the excuse Juniper¡¯s words offered. She didn¡¯t want us here, I didn¡¯t want to be here either, so why not listen for once?

    But I couldn¡¯t leave. Not after Prevna¡¯s look made it feel like losing or running away. So instead I crossed my arms and took in our surroundings while I waited to see what Juniper would try next to get us to leave her alone.

    She was curled up in a little hollow that might have fit three people if they really didn¡¯t mind being cozy with one another and, based on the furs that had somehow made their way into the space, this wasn¡¯t the first time she had used it. Pine roots kept the space open like the hollow we had used to hide from the festerlings. We were on the back edge of the upper lake, about as far from the cliff as you could get and still be in the Rookery. No other tribe members were nearby and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if the only time someone went through the area was when Tufani made us run around both lakes.

    I gave Prevna a look that asked how she knew Juniper would be here and she shrugged, unconcerned. ¡°Sometimes you want to be alone and I get bored. Not my fault if I saw them while up on a rib.¡±

    ¡°Why would you ever want to go up there?¡±

    ¡°Milwa always said we should know the land better than everyone else if we wanted to survive.¡± A Picker band would need to the area to know where to ambush tribes. Prevna added, teasing, ¡°Did you think I could see everything from up here?¡± She still wasn¡¯t over the fact that I wasn¡¯t tall enough to ride a bird properly.

    I scowled back at her grin. She wasn¡¯t that much taller than me yet and she was the one who was going to hit her head on everything.

    ¡°Go away,¡± Juniper repeated, more forcefully.

    We focused back on her¡ªwhich I think was exactly what she didn¡¯t want¡ªand she shrunk in on herself again. She didn¡¯t have her normal sullen air of homesickness and worry and resolve; instead, this time it was all embarrassment and disappointment and resentment.

    I knew the taste of the second depressing air much better than the first. Her normal air I could ignore because I didn¡¯t want to get involved and I couldn¡¯t ever remember being homesick. For the healer¡¯s tent, maybe, but that was more for the skill than the actual place of the people inside it.

    This new storm of emotions though¡­it brushed against all sorts of memories. Juniper wasn¡¯t taking well to feeling incompetent over and over again, and she wasn¡¯t using what I always had to push through: spite and the knowledge that no matter what she said I wasn¡¯t a failure.

    I glowered down at Juniper. ¡°Why are you cowering in a hole?¡±

    She hunched in tighter and refused to look at me.

    ¡°You¡¯re not the only one who had trouble flying and we all know you¡¯re scared of heights. That doesn¡¯t matter.¡±

    Of course it mattered. Juniper wasn¡¯t a prideless, spineless fool. I didn¡¯t like my own flying trouble or the way the memories ambushed me in small spaces, didn¡¯t want anyone else to find out about them who didn¡¯t already know. But that wasn¡¯t the point.

    The point was to not give up just because things kept being hard. Giving up meant no progress, no way to improve or get over the difficult things. Giving up meant someone else could decide everything that mattered.

    Juniper was better than that, but if she thought hiding in a hole would solve anything I¡¯d show her just how wrong she was. If she was determined to be a failure after that then Prevna couldn¡¯t say I hadn¡¯t done as she asked.

    ¡°Are you just going to stay there forever?¡± I pressed. ¡°Ignore us and everything else until you freeze solid?¡±

    She stubbornly kept staring at the fur covering her so I reached down to grab some snow and lobbed it at her face. It hit dead center on her nose and she jerked her head up. It was easy to tell she¡¯d been crying as she spat, ¡°What was that for?¡±

    I threw more at her. Prevna stayed off to the side looking conflicted between joining or stopping me.

    ¡°Stop it!¡± Juniper demanded.

    I kept throwing the snow. ¡°Being frozen isn¡¯t easy or fun. I should know.¡±

    Juniper turned her attention to Prevna. ¡°Make her stop!¡±

    ¡°I think only you can do that,¡± Prevna picked sides just like that.

    ¡°Nothing ever works!¡± The words exploded out of Juniper as she flung the fur away and scooped up her own snow. Then she flung it at me as she advanced, throwing more snow to punctuate her points. ¡°I can¡¯t fly! Can¡¯t shadow walk! Can¡¯t even use a sling or aim properly!¡±

    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

    It was true that more of her shots were missing rather than hitting me in the face and chest like she no doubt intended. The petty part of me desperately wanted to point that out but the rest of me realized I¡¯d be stuck in this situation a lot longer if I made her burst into tears or go mute again.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be here! I should be home¡ªprotecting the waterways and killing fish and learning how to lead the tribe!¡±

    She stopped throwing snow and stood there glaring at us. Like we were the ones who put the bless mark on her and condemned her to become one of the vaulted whisper women.

    I stopped edging toward Prevna so that more of the snow could hit her and glared back. ¡°So you¡¯re just going to give up? Stop trying because things got tough? You really are weak.¡±

    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be here.¡± Juniper jabbed a finger at the pearl dangling over her forehead. ¡°This proves it! Only those destined to protect the waterways can wield the pearl.¡±

    That sounded to me like anyone from her tribe could use it, but I knew what it was like to define myself by a thing on my head. Beads for one and a pearl for another. A position I could no longer have. A position she had to let go of too.

    I raised my eyebrows. ¡°Last I checked you had a bless mark and a special power to go with it. Did that change in the last hour?¡± Her return look was more than enough of an answer. ¡°Then you don¡¯t have much of a choice.¡±

    ¡°I bear the pearl of the Water Frond Snake. I¡¯ll return to my tribe.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°The goddess¡¯s authority beats everything else.¡± She started to protest again but I kept speaking right over her, ¡°So you¡¯ll become a whisper woman and that means you¡¯ll be up high again. Or you¡¯re going to have to shadow walk. Are you going to do anything about it to make it easier? Practice? Or are you going to let someone else make the choice for you?¡±

    Juniper¡¯s jaw worked as she started several different sentences before she finally settled on, ¡°It¡¯ll never be easier,¡± and turned her head away. ¡°This isn¡¯t where I¡¯m supposed to be.¡±

    ¡°So if you were magically back at your tribe everything would be perfect right now?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    I scoffed. ¡°You¡¯d still be a terrible shot with a fear of heights who can¡¯t travel through the shadows if your life depended on it.¡± Prevna nudged me on the back in warning but I ignored her. ¡°The only difference is that here you have do everything yourself instead of having others trip over themselves to help you.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know what it was like!¡±

    ¡°Then prove me wrong.¡± If that didn¡¯t make her blood boil enough to stop sulking then she was a lost cause.

    She sulked, ¡°I don¡¯t care what you say! I¡¯ll do my duty and protect the waterways from the Lady¡¯s creatures.¡±

    I crossed my arms again. ¡°Who said you couldn¡¯t do that as a whisper woman?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll return to my tribe. That¡¯s where I belong.¡±

    ¡°If you think you can argue with the goddess, be my guest.¡± Part of me wanted to leave it at that, cut my losses, and let her bury her head in the snow. She obviously had settled on the hill she wanted to die on, but I knew the tantalizing pull¡ªthe need¡ªto do the thing you dedicated your childhood to, only for a bless mark and the goddess¡¯s unknown plans to get in the way. The sheer panic of looking up and realizing that you had nothing else to lean on, nothing else that even remotely came to knowledge you had built up around that one thing.

    But I had the benefit of Rawley¡¯s practical instruction and the myths and I was more than halfway decent in a handful of the skills we were supposed to learn. Juniper, for all her stoic posture, didn¡¯t have the same number of successes to lean on. She had failed at weapons training, especially with the sling, but that could expected from any real beginner. She had all the theory down but for all her focus on fighting fish somehow those skills had been overlooked. Perhaps they had spent all her time on training her special ability with that pearl. And she had done better when we went to the shore until we faced the giant water snake and she got knocked out of the fight nearly right away. Now she was failing over and over again between her fear of heights and her inability to shadow walk between trees like everyone else.

    It didn¡¯t make the best mixture for success, but she¡¯d never get better as long as she thought she was useless and terrible and in the wrong place.

    So I marched over to her and got much closer than I would have preferred. ¡°You can¡¯t be a failure if you keep working on getting better. Pick one thing to improve, one you¡¯re already good at, and make it so you¡¯re better at it than everyone else. Then no one will care about the things you suck at.¡± I flicked her pearl and she flinched back, affronted. ¡°Do it well enough and make it related to your precious waterways and you might be able to protect them even as a whisper woman.¡±

    Then I turned on my heel and left. I still had to decide on my own distraction that I could throw my entire focus into but I doubted we¡¯d pick the same thing.

    Prevna caught up with me as I finished walking up the little slope that led down to Juniper¡¯s pity party. ¡°That¡¯s not exactly what I had in mind.¡±

    I gave her a sidelong look. ¡°Does she seem more motivated?¡±

    ¡°She stopped crying.¡±

    ¡°Good enough.¡±

    I could tell Prevna wasn¡¯t ready to let go of the whole idiotic situation like I was. ¡°Why¡¯d you press her now about the fact that she can¡¯t return home?¡±

    ¡°She brought it up first.¡± Then I added, ¡°She¡¯s not committed. She was on the shore when we were fighting the fish, but now that we¡¯re away from what she grew up with she can¡¯t focus. All the things she sucks at she doesn¡¯t really care about improving, not deep down, because in her head she won¡¯t need them once she¡¯s back in her cozy little tribe.¡±

    ¡°So what?¡±

    ¡°If she can¡¯t get over that then nothing anyone says will help her. We¡¯ll just get to watch as she builds her own funeral pyre.¡±

    ¡°Gimley!¡±

    I shrugged again. ¡°I told you I didn¡¯t want to talk to her.¡±

    Prevna considered me. ¡°But you told her she might be able to do what she wants as a whisper woman.¡±

    ¡°She can¡¯t return home and go back to her tribe like nothing has changed, but if she really can¡¯t let go of the idea that protecting rivers is all she¡¯s good for then she might as well lean into it to get motivated instead of sulking.¡±

    Prevna gave me a look I didn¡¯t like. Her eyes got a little soft in a way that said she thought she saw that same softness in me. Which was ridiculous. I didn¡¯t care if Juniper picked herself up or not. It was just the¡­principle of the whole situation. No one should give up just because things got difficult. You couldn¡¯t be defeated if you just kept trying¡ªan unintentional side of that mantra she liked to spout. I had ambition and discipline enough to make sure I kept learning healing despite her attempts to convince me to cut my beads.

    Now I¡¯d have enough to become a top whisper woman, no matter what anyone else said or did. If Juniper had any sense she¡¯d do the same. If we couldn¡¯t decide about becoming whisper women, we might as well hold tight to the decision about deciding what kind of whisper women we¡¯d be.

 Book 3 - Ch. 50: Folly

    The flying lessons continued but Juniper didn¡¯t show up. She didn¡¯t appear for any of the other lessons either. No doubt so Tufani couldn¡¯t corner her to ask about her absence. She didn¡¯t even return to the hut to sleep and be warm. Instead, from what Prevna told me, she had truly holed up in the nook on the back end of the lake.

    I¡¯m not sure what she thought that would accomplish but it was clear that this time my brand of motivation hadn¡¯t worked. Unless, of course, Juniper was being so stubborn partially out of spite for me and my comments about her lot in life. Then I would have just motivated her in the wrong direction.

    Tufani gave it two days before she thumped after Prevna to her hidey hole. I practiced with my spear near the nesting grounds and watched as Ento and Idra followed behind not long after. I had just switched to sling practice when the four of them returned, weaving their way around the nests without Juniper anywhere insight. Idra had a black eye though which I found more than a bit satisfying.

    Prevna caught sight of me and waved for me to stay put before motioning that she¡¯d tell me about what happened later. I shrugged and went back to practicing. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to get in an argument with Idra. Besides, learning about whatever drama was unfolding secondhand sounded much more appealing than having to deal with the others.

    She filled me in during the evening meal as we sat slightly apart from everyone else around the cooking fire. Apparently, Tufani had been making progress with Juniper in her no nonsense but understanding way when Ento and Idra arrived. They were supposedly there to check on her but, instead, Idra made everything worse by accusing Juniper of listening to everyone but them, not caring about her and Ento, being self-absorbed¡­the list went on. Tufani cut Idra off but not before Juniper sprinted out of the hole and punched her in the face. Ento made a wry comment about seeing and believing that managed to be a bit of a rebuke to both of her companions, and then Tufani marched them away from Juniper¡¯s lair before the situation could get worse. Then the pair got lectured at her hut and sent away. In contrast, Prevna got praised for showing the Tamer the way and doing what she could to help her cohort.

    I didn¡¯t exactly want to encourage Prevna¡¯s meddling but I also couldn¡¯t ignore the expectant look in her eyes as she said the last part. So I asked a question instead, ¡°Why do you care so much about what happens with Juniper?¡±

    The light in Prevna¡¯s dimmed, which I didn¡¯t like, before it came back with a mischievous smile.

    ¡°She reminds me of you.¡±

    I blinked back at her.

    That hadn¡¯t been the response I was expecting. Thankfully sometimes my tongue could be quicker than my mind. ¡°Then she should be able to take care of herself.¡±

    Which, based on what I had seen, wasn¡¯t really true. Juniper needed her crumbling support system while I had always been fine on my own.

    Prevna leaned a little bit closer. ¡°But she shouldn¡¯t have to. Not all the time.¡±

    A different image of Prevna flashed in my mind. Similar position, still sitting cross legged, leaning sidelong on one hand close to me, but this time she was close enough that our noses were nearly touching and her hair was unbound and tickling my arm and¡ª

    I crushed the image into a pulp, shoved it back in the sack it belonged in, made another thick sack with my mind and threw the original sack into that one before tying the whole mess shut tight and stuck it back in the shadowy corner of my memory tent where it belonged.

    There was no way I was going to let my mind ruin anything else. I already had the memories to control. I didn¡¯t need it conjuring up other unpredictable images that I didn¡¯t know how deal with.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    I flinched back and then internally winced as the sudden movement caused her to flinch to. Prevna recovered and pressed me, ¡°You got that faraway look in your eyes like you do in¡­small spaces. Did I¡ª?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I cut her off. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    She kept her distance even though I could tell she wanted get close and comfort me. ¡°But¡ªwhat happened then?¡±

    I didn¡¯t have the convenient excuse of healing bringing up complicated emotions this time but there was no way I was going to admit to the stupid image my mind had conjured unless the goddess personally decreed it. So I had to settle for a much less convincing explanation, ¡°Just thinking.¡±

    We both knew she didn¡¯t believe the excuse but she stopped pressing me for an answer with a sigh and one last question, ¡°Would you tell me if I did?¡±

    I huffed out a laugh. ¡°You couldn¡¯t trigger a memory if you tried.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s eyebrows drew together at the admission before relief broke across her face and she grinned. I cursed myself for being an idiot and a stupid fool who admitted to something I shouldn¡¯t have. How many times did I have to remind myself that she was too close as it was? Any more and I was basically asking for her to hurt me with the sheer amount of options I had given her.

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    Prevna brushed her fingers against my arm, the faintest of touches as if she was afraid she¡¯d actually trigger a memory if she pushed too soon despite what I said. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    I nodded, not meeting her gaze, and we left it at that.

    - -

    That night went sideways in a way no one could expect. It started when I was getting some last minute shadow walking practice in before twilight fell. Prevna was with me too. Comfortable with practicing in silence and exchanging the occasional bit of advice. I still hadn¡¯t fully grasped the pointer that Esie had given me but I thought I was getting closer to it.

    Picturing the shadows as pools of water came easily now and I could slip into and out of them quicker than before. Maybe not instantly like a lot of the whisper women, but within two or three breaths.

    Now I was focusing on traveling to trees further and further away, though so far that was mostly underlining how much easier it was to travel to the feathered goddess grown tree than to any other in the vicinity.

    We decided to do one last trip from the feathered tree back down to the lower level to make our walk back to the hut quicker. When I stepped out of the shadow of a large pine the night was no longer quiet.

    Notes filled the air despite sounding distant. Music notes¡ªbut the Heartsong Festival was over and no one would dare to defy the goddess so blatantly. And they weren¡¯t from an Echo¡¯s sticks or someone singing. They were something I had never heard¡ª

    No. I had.

    I had heard it in the clearing with the bicolored trees when the wind played across its strings. I had heard it up close when Breck tested the goddess¡¯s patience by plucking out a few notes.

    The harp cradled in the hand of the goddess¡¯s often ignored sister.

    Its accidental music had rarely reached as far as the Rookery since we arrived, but now the soft notes seemed to ignore the distance and they were¡­more purposeful. Like someone who knew how to play had gotten their hands on it.

    My eyelids drooped at the same time Prevna reached out to brace herself on my shoulder. I stumbled from the sudden weight but caught myself as screams ripped through the air.

    Forcing away the sudden tiredness I stared up in horror as some of the storm birds who had been flying above the Rookery¡ªthere were always a handful at least¡ªbegan to plummet. A couple managed to catch themselves before they crashed¡­others didn¡¯t.

    One plummeted into the lower lake with a giant splash while the crack of bones breaking followed another that barely avoided hitting the village.

    People were screaming and birds were screeching but, despite that, I found my eyelids drooping with tiredness again. I pinched the back of one hand to force myself awake. We couldn¡¯t sleep in the open. That¡¯d be asking for frostbite or worse.

    The Rookery tribe would hopefully know how to help the birds. My main priority was getting Prevna to warmth and safety in the hut. Then it would be time to curse and wonder about how the harp was putting everyone to sleep and how in the storming curse of it all I was supposed to get the thing to stop. I doubted the unnatural tiredness could be from anything else.

    I pulled Prevna¡¯s hand from my shoulder and tucked her arm under mine instead. It¡¯d make for more prolonged contact than I¡¯d prefer but that was tolerable when the other option meant she¡¯d likely be have draped over my shoulders. I dragged her forward.

    ¡°Gimley¡­¡±

    ¡°Just walk.¡±

    We stumbled again as another wave of drowsiness washed over us and the snow was looking more and more like a comfortable bedroll. Once I caught my balance again I dragged Prevna forward again and gave her a task to do.

    ¡°Talk. Try to drown it out. Maybe it¡¯ll be easier to stay awake that way.¡±

    She talked. Chided me for acting like I had to make all the decisions, worried about the birds, cursed the music and prayed to the goddess to make it stop. None of it worked. The harp kept playing and no matter how loudly she talked or screamed the notes reached our ears. The screams and screeches from all around the Rookery were weakening, fading out, and I doubted it was because everyone had gotten the help they needed. The hold the music had on us was strengthening as it continued.

    I gritted my teeth and pushed on. What normally would have been around a ten minute straight walk to the hut was turning into something significantly more weaving and slow. The minutes dragged by as we tried to keep each other upright and alert. Once I caught Prevna walking with her eyes closed as she leaned on me and I had to jab my elbow into her ribs to get her to open them again.

    Since trying to ignore and drown out the storming music hadn¡¯t worked I tried focusing on it instead. The pull on my eyelids was immediate but I kept placing one slit-eyed step front of the other until I recognized a pattern. There was a point in the music when the notes would fade, like it was the end of a song fading into the night, and that¡¯s when the tiredness would swell the most and nearly drag us under. Then the music would swell like the harp was starting another round to build up its lure again.

    After that it was easier to time our sleep prevention tactics for that unnatural large pull, but neither of us could deny that we wouldn¡¯t last too much longer. Really, at the point, the only keeping me going was the knowledge that Prevna had the ability to die. I didn¡¯t know what was keeping her awake but she could be surprisingly stubborn when she wanted to be.

    We walked and stumbled and lurched until we finally, finally reached our hut¡¯s door flap. The tied shut door flap. After a quick debate that mostly consisted me slapping Prevna¡¯s hands away from the knots, Prevna helped prop me up while I gave the tied ropes my full attention.

    It took longer than I¡¯d like to admit but I got the flap open. We shuffled inside and Prevna immediately dropped onto the bedroll closest to us. I wished I could join her but the now that we were inside the door flap had to be closed again or it¡¯d do next to nothing to keep the cold out.

    I scowled at the blasted piece of fabric as I put all of my focus on retying the knots I had just pulled loose. Highest one first. One string and then the other. The knot wasn¡¯t pretty or as secure as I normally would have done but it¡¯d have to do. I got another tied together and a third, but I was on my knees by the fourth, eyes closed more often than open, and the thin bits of rope slipped from my fingers as the darkness finally crumbled my resistance and pulled me into sleep.

 Book 3 - Ch. 51: Lost Talent

    I woke up to find my face pressed into the packed dirt wall of the hut. I jerked backward from the awkward position to look at Prevna. She was still sleeping but at some point she had dragged the bedroll next to her half on top herself like a bulky blanket. Doing my best not to wake her up, I checked her pulse and visible skin for any signs of frostbite. Her pulse was strong and some of her skin was reddened from the cold but nothing looked frostbitten. I held in a sigh of relief as I went to pull my hand away, only to find my hand was stuck pressed against her neck.

    Prevna yawned and cracked her eyes open to look up at me but she didn¡¯t release my hand. ¡°Will I live?¡±

    I scowled back down at her. ¡°Only if you let me finish closing the door flap.¡±

    Prevna let my hand go before she stretched. ¡°What about the others?¡±

    My head snapped up to take in the interior of the hut again. Wren, Dera, Nii, Andhi, Ulo, Breck, and Loclen were all spread out around the hut. Some had clearly been ready to go to bed while others look like they had been in the middle of a conversation or game when the music hit them. Breck slumped against the wall not far from the entrance. It looked like she had been trying to check on what was happening but without the threat of being frozen to death it seemed like the music had put them to sleep much faster.

    Still, it was¡­irritating to realize that I was so used to seeing them around that my mind had just ignored their presence. That wasn¡¯t supposed to happen. I was supposed to be observant and always know who was around me. To be prepared.

    Turning away from the lot of them I focused on the last knot I had failed to tie and got it tied properly with quick, practiced motions. Between the way I had slept and the rest of knots, most of the cold air had been kept out but there was no reason to let the air drop below freezing inside the hut if I could help it. The fire had gone out at some point.

    My nose and ears were cold but as I cupped my hands around them and they gradually warmed up, it didn¡¯t come with the needle-like pain of frozen skin coming back to life. Despite my proximity to the entrance frostbite hadn¡¯t been able to overcome the protective walls and my layers of clothing.

    By tying the last knot in place, I had blocked out the errant bit of sunlight stealing into the hut¡ªsunlight that shouldn¡¯t have been shining if it was still the same night. We had likely lost a day or two to our forced sleep and I wasn¡¯t keen on finding out how much of a disaster was happening outside. Not yet.

    I couldn¡¯t check on everyone the same way I had with Prevna but she was going around nudging everyone awake. Given the yawning and exclamations and curses I figured they were alive and well. Besides, if I had managed not to succumb to the cold death or frostbite right next to the door then they should all be fine.

    A little puffball twittered and landed on my head. I gave Chirp one stroke on his belly feathers before demanding, ¡°Off.¡±

    He chirped again but fluttered off back in Wren¡¯s direction. Other shapes shifted in the dark and I noted that for all that Dark Sight sounded lackluster compared to the other boons, this would have been a nice time for it. I could have seen for myself how they were doing and Loclen might not be cursing about being woken up and then tripping over a bag. It seemed not even magical sleep could make her a morning person.

    Prevna took charge of telling the group what little we knew while everyone got bundled up and then I had to undo my knots again, so that we could all go outside to see and assess the damage. Ulo looked like she wanted to somehow blame the whole mess on me, so I glared at her as she stepped past into the snow and made a mental note about making her day a bit more miserable in the future.

    Outside the Rookery was eerily still and quiet without the usual bird calls and everyday noises of a busy tribe. We must have been among the first to wake up.

    The group huddled together right outside the hut as everyone stared in shock. The downed storm bird that nearly crashed into the village was clearly visible from where we stood. That gruesome image, if nothing else, clearly showed that something was wrong. The Rookery would never stand for one of their birds being abandoned to injuries and the elements.

    Because no one else was doing it, I took charge. ¡°We need to start getting everyone else woken up. Andhi, Ulo, Nii go wake up everyone in the village. Make sure you check for anyone in the snow¡ªnot everyone might have made it inside. The rest of us can shadow walk to the upper level and wake up Tufani and Barra and anyone else among the nests. We can see what she thinks about waking up the birds too.¡±

    Ulo crossed her arms. ¡°Why should we listen to you?¡±

    ¡°If you want to sit on your butt and see how the tribe likes it when they wake up, go ahead.¡± I smirked at her and focused on the others. ¡°I¡¯ll go and check on Juniper. Does anyone know where Ento and Idra might be?¡±

    No one knew for certain. Some thought they might be with Juniper, others thought they might have went back to talk with Tufani. Ento didn¡¯t seem like the type to sulk but I wouldn¡¯t put it past Idra to find some out of the way place to huff and puff, and get them both caught in the cold and music.

    But there wasn¡¯t much we could do but wake up everyone we could find. Hopefully they would know how to help the crashed birds and having more people meant we could find others faster.

    Nii started off for the village and with a tug Andhi got Ulo to follow her with a put upon huff. The rest of us hurried to reach the nearest trees so we could shadow walk to the upper level. Loclen and Dera had to take a little longer searching for a tree with a deep enough shadow that would let them slip into the shadow paths.

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    I didn¡¯t wait for the others once I stepped out of the feathered tree¡¯s shadow. They knew where Tufani¡¯s hut was and it¡¯d be more than a bit pathetic if they couldn¡¯t do what I had already told them without me in the lead. Instead, I took the most direct route I could towards Juniper¡¯s hiding place. I knew she was out in the cold¡ªfur blankets could only do so much if she fell asleep without preparation¡ªso there wasn¡¯t time to waste to check if others had been caught out in the nests.

    Part of me had been tempted to try to shadow walk to where she was as it wouldn¡¯t have been that much bigger of a distance than I took from the lower level to the feathered tree, but I wouldn¡¯t have the advantage of the height difference. Being able to look down and pick out the tree I wanted made it much more likely I¡¯d end up closer to my target still. Trying to travel on the same level with nests and other things blocking my sight didn¡¯t make that trick possible and I didn¡¯t want to end up in some random part of the woodland. That¡¯d have to wait until I understood what Esie meant or I was desperate.

    So I ran and cursed Juniper and her stupid decisions as well as Idra¡¯s terribly timed accusations. Really, I probably should have had someone with longer legs go check on her, but I couldn¡¯t deny that I had skills that everyone else didn¡¯t if her condition was dire.

    Not that I was sure I could bring myself to be frozen solid again for her sake, but I at least knew that gradual, gentle, enveloping heat would be better than warmed rocks or leaving her in clothes soaked by snow if the cold death had her in its clutches. Really, that might even be too much to expect them to know even if it seemed like common sense. Some people in the cohort might think praying to the goddess or taking her back to the healer would be enough, but I doubted either would have much attention to spare. One because of indifference and the other because I was sure the healer¡¯s hut would soon be full of injured and sick people with the damage the sudden sleep had likely done.

    When I reached Juniper¡¯s makeshift hidey hole I realized that it didn¡¯t matter who had come to check on her.

    Because she wasn¡¯t there.

    Blankets were strewn around the front of the hollow like they had been thrown off Juniper or there had been a brief struggle. I wasn¡¯t a good enough tracker to tell. What I could tell was that it didn¡¯t look Juniper had chosen to leave on her own. There were footprints in the snow, big ones, that seemed fresher than the others¡¯ coming and going had left.

    Someone else had been here and taken Juniper for some unfathomable reason¡ªand it didn¡¯t look like they had gone back to the Rookery. Instead, the big footprints headed deeper into the woods.

    I groaned. Of course, Juniper had managed to get kidnapped on top of everything else. That was the way her terrible luck had gone ever since we left the training grounds. First the festerlings, then getting herself stuck not once, but twice, and now this. I had heard stories of tribe leaders¡¯ daughters getting kidnapped and ransomed by particularly daring Picker bands but I hadn¡¯t thought one of those daughters would turn out to have such a penchant for disappearing.

    So.

    I could try to track the footprints and hope I was smarter and more observant than whoever I was tracking as well as enough to take them on, go back and get others to do the same or hope that Barra had been found so that she could use her blessing to find Juniper again.

    The third option was the best in terms of accuracy and wasting the least amount of time, so I gave the tracks leading off among the trees one last look before I turned and ran back the way I had come.

    - -

    Barra had been found. After a fashion.

    I arrived at Tufani¡¯s hut to find that she was awake and heading the recovery efforts for the birds while the tribe¡¯s Pack Leader that I had never paid attention to directed the upper level¡¯s human search and rescue. The tribe leader and their Grandmother were heading similar efforts to recover herds and humans on the lower level.

    Tufani also had a few choice words to say about the Tracker¡¯s choices as she did her best to save the birds that had fallen all over the Rookery, some with riders. Apparently, ¡°the glass obsessed fool¡± had gone back the statue to collect more glass ¡°to top off her reserves¡± and no one had seen her since. So now the tribe was left with no way to locate missing birds or people, or contact the whisper women and let them know about the disturbing crisis.

    Of course nearly everyone sent a whispered prayer with a drop of blood to the goddess, but no one really expected Her to answer them. The goddess might accept prayers but that didn¡¯t mean She answered them. Or that you really wanted Her too. There was a good chance that Her attention could make a bad situation worse if She got offended about the trouble¡ªand with the harp and its blasphemous music that rested in the hand of a statue of Her sister no one really wanted to take that chance. So the prayers were short and vague so She also couldn¡¯t get offended that they hadn¡¯t prayed to Her.

    But all that meant was that the one person who could definitely find Juniper was also missing and had likely been involved with the harp¡¯s sudden ability to put everyone to sleep. Tufani had sent one brave rider and storm bird to go retrieve Barra but there was no guarantee they¡¯d find her or, if they did, she wouldn¡¯t be stuck asleep given how close she must have been to the harp. Even if she was awake I wasn¡¯t sure Juniper¡¯s disappearance would win out over all the other people and birds the tribe needed her to find.

    Which left me with two choices: track alone or with a group. Maybe a rider and bird could be sent out too to search from above but they wouldn¡¯t be able to make out the tracks and I doubted in all the chaos that a random tribe member would be willing to abandon their tribe for a girl they barely knew even if she was a Sprout.

    I didn¡¯t want to but tracking with a group had the higher chance of success. I wasn¡¯t keen to relive my experience tracking down Ulo and Nii, and I knew there were at least of few others in the cohort who¡¯d be better skilled and interested in joining the hunt. Breck would go because it was exciting, Prevna because she wouldn¡¯t want to abandon Juniper to whoever had her, and Ento and Idra would likely want to make up for the mistake of losing their charge now that they had been found tucked safely under a bird¡¯s breast. Loclen could be helpful because of her shadow shrouding blessing just like Dera¡¯s versatility with her blessing, but I wasn¡¯t sure they¡¯d be willing to brave to the danger, snow, and cold. Wren¡¯s ability to communicate the birds could also help us but she also might be more useful calming down the storm birds in the Rookery.

    Tufani probably wouldn''t approve of my plan to make use of the cohort and go after Juniper so I didn¡¯t tell her. Instead I mentioned searching farther away from the Rookery and she waved me off as a tribe member hurried into the hut to report on the latest findings. I took that as acceptance and went to find who I could.

 Book 3 - Ch. 52: Tracking

    In the end the search party ended up bigger than I expected, but since we didn¡¯t know what we¡¯d be facing it couldn¡¯t hurt to put numbers in our favor. As long as no one got loud or stepped on a twig.

    Which was why Andhi and Ulo weren¡¯t going. We didn¡¯t need an argument or fight in the middle of the woods while we were trying to rescue Juniper. Andhi still had the decency to look worried about her but Ulo just seemed annoyed that I was taking charge again. Maybe they would have joined if I wasn¡¯t the one putting the search party together but I wasn¡¯t about to coddle them and back out of it.

    Wren and Dera were also staying in the Rookery to help Tufani and calm her down once she learned we had taken off into the woods without her permission or other support. She¡¯d be the most likely to listen to them and hopefully that meant the punishment wouldn¡¯t be too severe when we returned, especially if we did return with Juniper.

    The rest of the cohort was coming with me. It had taken awhile to get in contact with everyone but I had found Prevna and Wren first and they had been insistent on checking in with everyone once they understood this was what needed to be done.

    Like I thought, Breck was all in for the excitement and Prevna was set on finding Juniper so she¡¯d know she wasn¡¯t abandoned. They¡¯d be taking the lead on tracking this time around. Nii and Ento were in charge of taking care of protecting the group¡¯s flanks while Idra and Loclen would be in the middle. Idra got the middle so her shield could cover everyone while Loclen wasn¡¯t thrilled about heading into unknown danger. She insisted on being in the middle in case everything went wrong and I let her since that meant we would still have her shrouding ability if we needed it. Which meant I ended up in the rear and had to make sure nothing snuck up on us while also keeping half an eye up front so I didn¡¯t run into anything stupid.

    I would have preferred to be on one of the flanks or the middle but even I could admit that Nii and Ento were the more experienced scouts and fighters. And it didn¡¯t make sense to put Idra in the back or have all three of us clumped together with no one watching the rear. So I gave Loclen a few glares and did my job as we followed the footprints in the snow.

    Really, we probably didn¡¯t need two trackers when the footprints were so clear¡ªit didn¡¯t look like the kidnapper had done anything to disguise them¡ªbut Breck was also a good fighter to have up front and Prevna wanted to be useful. With her skills the main two things I could have her do was track or¡ª

    ¡°I¡¯m going to go scout ahead,¡± Prevna said.

    Or that.

    She had fallen back to walk next to me and I glowered at her. Someone should be scouting so we wouldn¡¯t accidentally stumble onto our quarry unprepared, but I didn¡¯t like sending out¡­anyone outside of Idra¡¯s protection. I wouldn¡¯t have eyes on them, wouldn¡¯t be able to give directions, and they could get captured just as easily as Juniper had.

    Prevna raised her eyebrows at me and waited. We both knew that there really wasn¡¯t any good excuse to not send out a scout now that we had been following the tracks for hours. I should have made someone the scout right away in case the kidnapper had unexpectedly stopped a short distance away. And in our group that someone should be Prevna given her years of experience doing raids and ambushes with the Picker band she grew up in.

    I pointed. ¡°Take Loclen. No one should be alone and her ability could be helpful.¡±

    Prevna considered my point. Loclen¡¯s blessing could be helpful but her ability to sneak could also be hit or miss. Sometimes it could like when she dropped on me out of nowhere during the game of Hunter¡¯s Quarry, but other times I swore she found every noisy thing to stumble over in a mile. She was doing fine right now other than the soft crunch of snow under her feet, but all of us were having some trouble getting that noise to go entirely away.

    ¡°There¡¯s always the shadows too,¡± Prevna half-agreed with a knowing smile, but she stepped forward and caught Loclen¡¯s attention before dragging her away through the trees. This way one of them could run and warn us if the other got caught.

    There wasn¡¯t a lot of cover to hide behind in the wide spaced woodland but we made it work when we faced the festerlings and we¡¯d make it work again now. Everyone also had a spear, sling, and knife along with their traveling pack. We made sure of that before we left the Rookery. Others had also brought their specialty weapons but I doubted they¡¯d be much help in a real fight. No one but Breck had a lot of experience with those. Some people, like Loclen and Idra, also hadn¡¯t really trained to fight with their knives, but they would still be more protected with their eating knives than barehanded.

    We walked as quick as we could while keeping quiet and following the footprints, and I strained to hear any warning that things had somehow gone wrong with Prevna and Loclen, but the woodland was quiet except for its usual sounds. We walked, Breck tracked, and the hours kept passing until it was late afternoon.

    Prevna had been doubling back with occasional messages that everything was quiet and clear but as soon as she slipped into view on her latest report I could tell something had changed.

    She gestured for us to gather together before she spoke, ¡°There¡¯s a camp up ahead, but it¡¯s empty. Little more than the remains of a fire.¡±

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    The kidnapper wasn¡¯t a whisper woman then. Which, really, I probably would have been more surprised if it had been, but it was good to start ruling out possibilities.

    Breck asked, ¡°How old do you think it is?¡±

    Prevna shrugged. ¡°Not that old but the fire¡¯s small and there¡¯s not a lot activity around the camp. Like they didn¡¯t stay long. Come see.¡±

    Cautiously, we followed Prevna back to where Loclen was watching the campsite. It was placed on the leeward side of a low hill, like the kidnapper wanted some protection from the elements but hadn¡¯t known to look for the hollows that had been carved out by rivers and streams through the woodland or even the clusters of bushes that you could slip inside to keep off the worst of the snow.

    The remains of the fire were small and half covered with snow, so the kidnapper was smart enough not to leave smoldering ash behind, though, from what I could tell, it wasn¡¯t the kind of fire that would last through the night and keep you warm while you slept. Instead it seemed like the kind that the cooks threw together during the seasonal run when they didn¡¯t have hours to cook. The kidnapper seemed to be in a hurry.

    The rest of the barely there campsite had little to tell. There were a couple of impressions in the snow where the kidnapper or Juniper might have sat or laid down. Worryingly, there weren¡¯t any marks of a struggle. Like Juniper had given up or was still sleeping. I quietly hoped it was latter. Juniper might have her priorities mixed up but I doubted she¡¯d so willing to abandon her tribe now when she wouldn¡¯t even let go of the idea when she was forced to become a seedling.

    Footprints led back off into the woods. Still so undisguised that I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if they were part of a trap or if the kidnapper really was an idiot. Maybe they thought that no one would be able to catch up even if they did follow, but then was the point of the kidnapper¡¯s apparent hurry?

    The depth and slant to the footsteps suggested that the kidnapper was running, too.

    We searched the area to make sure that there weren¡¯t any hidden tracks but the obvious steps in the snow were the only human activity as far as we could tell. No one wanted to say it but we all knew the truth: we were going too slow. Our quarry seemed to be able to run at a steady pace for long distances despite lugging around Juniper and they had a head start. We were walking, trying to be stealthy. There wasn¡¯t any way we¡¯d be able to catch up if we kept up our current pace.

    Either we could trust the tracks and give up any notion of stealth as we ran after the kidnapper, pushing ourselves to try and out pace them, or we could keep going as we had been and likely find Juniper once the kidnapper had gotten her to wherever they were going. Once it might be too late for whatever they had planned.

    Maybe if a miracle struck we could use the shadow paths and skip over the distance and end up right where we needed to be, but we still didn¡¯t have the stamina to make more than a dozen paths, if that, in a row and no one had the range or accuracy to show up at the kidnapper¡¯s feet. Maybe I could get close if I could figure out how to ¡°focus my intentions and trust the blessing¡± like Esie wanted but I hadn¡¯t full grasped the concept yet. Her advice to picture the shadows but not where I wanted to go seemed contradictory at best.

    We opted to run. If we did come up on the kidnapper we could use our numbers if we needed to fight or slip into the shadows and plan an ambush once they gain a little distance again. This way we¡¯d at least use the rest of the daylight as best as we could.

    Prevna and Loclen fell in with the rest of the group while we ran. Better to face whatever came together if we were giving up stealth. No one could say that Tufani¡¯s endless running practice was pointless now.

    By nightfall we had to confront the fact that Juniper and her kidnapper were still not in sight and the storming tracks continued on in the same direction they had been going since we started. We could press on and risk finding them or something else dangerous in the dark while we were tired and less focused. Or we could risk them gaining an even bigger lead and camp for the night. Without fire. Or tents.

    Because while we had remembered to grab everything else we had used during trip to find the Rookery we hadn¡¯t paid attention to where our tents had been bundled off to once we got moved into the hut and no one wanted to risk trying to get a tribe member to join us. More likely they would have stopped us and told Tufani.

    So it came down to warmth. Could we find a hollow and stay warm enough to sleep for a handful of hours bundled up on our bedrolls or did we need to keep moving to stay warm?

    We had refilled our water skins at the last stream but there hadn¡¯t been another one for a while. The kidnapper didn¡¯t seem to care for keeping near a water source. We searched for hollows in the side of rises and other hills but there went any convenient holes for us to crawl into. There were a couple of large bush clusters but after over a quarter an hour of arguments and trying to squeeze everyone in we had to admit we couldn¡¯t all fit and that someone was going to get their eye poked out with a twig if we kept trying.

    So we had to keep moving in the dark like we had when the festerlings ambushed us. No one who had been in my group was thrilled about that but at least it wasn¡¯t likely that we¡¯d lose the trail and there might be a place we could settle down for the night if we kept going.

    We slowed back down to a walk while Ento gave Breck a break from staring at the ground and I did my best to pay attention to any little sign that we were about to be ambushed. I could hear Tufani criticizing us for going out during the cold season without fire and I ignored her whispers that said this was all that could be expected since I had tried to be clever. Instead I focused on Rawley¡¯s words of advice on how to always be prepared, her thought exercises on how I could survive if I was caught in the wilderness alone.

    My feet were aching and ready to stop but we pressed on as the stars helped guide us overhead. Loclen occasionally muttered curses under her breath about how she never have agreed to go with us and Nii would step close to her, whispering something. Prevna tried to keep spirits up but no one wanted to talk much in case the sound carried.

    We found a hollow that would out the worst of the cold an hour or two before dawn and we all collapsed into it. Breck set herself to first watch, Idra grudgingly agreed to the second, and Prevna set herself between me and everyone else. I gave her a quick smile, pressed myself against the wall, and fell asleep.

    The next day followed a similar pattern and on third we had face to the question of whether we should go back for support so others who weren¡¯t tired and freezing and bigger supplies of food could take over or if we had gone too far to give up.

 Book 3 - Ch. 53: A Bitter Taste

    No one looked particularly hopeful as they all watched Loclen and me get ready for the latest debate about whether we should continue after Juniper or double back. We were still in the hollow we had camped in the day before but it had been even more cramped than the one we piled into on the first night of our pursuit. There were also a few small holes in the ceiling and the day promised to be cloudy with possible snow. We only had enough food for a couple more days and there wasn¡¯t time to gather much as we tried to follow the tracks as quick as we could. Hunting was also next to useless given that we didn¡¯t have fire to cook the meat. Even we had the ability to do cook it would have wasted time or we could have lost the tracks in the unfamiliar woods while we hunted for game.

    But I didn¡¯t want to give up. Didn¡¯t want to fail again. Besides this whole thing had been my idea and Ulo would never let it rest if we came back without even spotting Juniper and her kidnapper.

    It was more than a bit crazy that we hadn¡¯t seen hide nor hair of the kidnapper yet. From the single set of tracks it seemed like whoever it was had been carrying Juniper¡ªand whatever they already had on them¡ªsince they grabbed her. Running the whole time too. That meant whoever it was had an insane amount of endurance, a unique blessing, or both.

    But they couldn¡¯t have a unique blessing because only whisper women had those and they could light a fire. It didn¡¯t make sense. Perhaps they had just gotten even more of a head start than we had assumed, but it was still odd that they weren¡¯t allowing Juniper to walk. Put the burden of carrying her weight back on her.

    It was enough that Loclen had started grumbling theories that whoever we were following might not even have Juniper despite the fact that there had been no other tracks from her hidey hole and she hadn¡¯t been there. Loclen¡¯s other grumblings about the lack of fire and supplies, going after an unknown threat, and now the possibility of a storm had gradually pushed things until I couldn¡¯t keep everyone going on the desire to help Juniper alone.

    ¡°We should go back.¡± Loclen kept her head held high despite pushing for us to admit defeat. ¡°Using the shadow paths to keep off the cold isn¡¯t going to keep us all from getting frostbite if this keeps up.¡±

    That had been my idea. We couldn¡¯t sleep in the shadow paths but they didn¡¯t have a temperature, neither hot or cold, which made warming up in them better than the snowy woods when we rested. Our blankets and bedrolls helped to keep off the worst of the cold while we slept but that wasn¡¯t quite the same as getting truly warm. I didn¡¯t want to admit it, but it was true that no one was sleeping well and it was only a matter of time before someone slipped up on the preventative measures and got frostbite. Or fell asleep in the shadows paths, which was arguably worse. I kept having near flashbacks to being frozen as well but no one needed to know that either, even if Prevna seemed to have started to pick up on it through her own tiredness and focus to find Juniper.

    Logically, I could agree with Loclen¡¯s points and the need to turn around. Could put together the two days of food we had left and the two days it had taken us to get this far but the tracks were right there and the kidnapper would get even further away every step we took in the wrong direction. There¡¯d be even less hope of getting Juniper back then.

    ¡°We need to keep going. Unless you want to abandon Juniper,¡± I said.

    Prevna flinched next to me and I ground my teeth together at the unintentional dig at her. She had started trying to convince me to turn back the night before. The betrayal had come out of nowhere until I remembered how practical she could be when it came to survival. There wasn¡¯t a lot of practicality in freezing and starving to death in pursuit of someone we weren¡¯t likely to catch if things remained as they were.

    Still, the change in her attitude stung and I was consciously trying to regulate my tongue so I didn¡¯t ruin things like I had with Fellen. We could disagree, we had before and gotten through it, but it felt like she thought everything had gotten out of hand. Like I had already failed.

    Failure was a bitter taste I was already sick of from needing to be rescued from the festerlings by the Ghost Hounds to failing to tie all the knots on the door flap before giving into the musical sleep. It tasted even worse when Prevna was the one spoon feeding it to me.

    Loclen crossed her arms. ¡°We won¡¯t be abandoning her. The storm birds can cover a lot more ground than we can. Faster. Returning will give them one less to worry about and divide their attention.¡±

    ¡°They could lose the tracks from above and the birds can¡¯t land without a clearing.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve been going in one direction!¡± Loclen made a sharp gesture to indicate it. ¡°That¡¯s not hard to follow.¡±

    My jaw clenched tighter. ¡°And if the harp plays again?¡±

    She held her ground. ¡°Then the Rookery can also send people along the ground. Either way they¡¯ll have fire starters and longer legs and be more prepared than we are freezing to death in a hole in the ground.¡±

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    ¡°They¡¯ll be days behind. We¡¯re already on the trail. If the birds are so great they¡¯ll be able to catch up to us and then Juniper, but if not, we¡¯re her best chance.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll just be a liability that slows them down.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a coward.¡±

    Loclen looked started like she was going to lean forward to hit me before she caught herself and her chin lifted higher. ¡°Not all of us get to ignore death. If you¡¯re so eager go and get yourself frozen solid again.¡±

    My fingers clenched, released, clenched again. My arguments were weaker than they normally were because I knew she was right. I¡¯d never admit it outright but it was true. If the kidnapper had been slower or had less of a head start maybe our pursuit could have made a difference but as it was¡­

    If the Rookery or the Seedling Palace had to pick between saving seven seedlings or saving one the numbers would tilt things in our favor. But if we returned and they only had to worry about one then they¡¯d be more inclined to still go after Juniper despite the disadvantages. If Barra was awake they wouldn¡¯t even need to bother with the tracks. She could lead them straight to Juniper¡ªunless they came after us first.

    Gentle fingers touched my arm. ¡°Gimley¡­¡±

    I threw off the blanket I was wrapped in and strode out of the hollow. I didn¡¯t want to be calmed or reasoned with. Prevna could pull me down into both if I let her. Breck glanced over from where she was leaned up against the entrance but didn¡¯t say anything as I continued past her and another argument burst up behind me.

    Failure if we returned. Failure if we continued following the tracks.

    If things stayed as they were.

    I cast about for different things I could use or change. Anything to get rid of the bitter taste that was determined to coat my tongue no matter which way I turned. Breck was enough of a daredevil that she¡¯d probably be willing to continue even if everyone else returned but she had her limits as well. Nii had fallen into silent judgment, refusing to give vocal support to either side but from her small reactions I¡¯d seen it seemed liked she favored returning. Loclen had timed the argument while Ento and Idra were in the shadows so she could layout all her points without Idra screaming in her face. If nothing else, Idra was as determined to keep going as me. But Ento could talk her into being reasonable if she felt like it.

    We could split up. Some returning and some continuing on but that wouldn¡¯t solve much of anything except make it so both groups could find smaller hollows to sleep in. Both more vulnerable to predators in the woods and less body heat to protect against the cold. It could even make it more difficult for other rescuers to decide which group to go after. Say they found the group returning to the camp, would those rescuers make the returning group come with them to rescue us or would they take the time to escort them back to the Rookery? More time lost, more wasted resources.

    So then. All or nothing. We all return or we all continue on. Could I stomach it?

    What else could be changed? Speed up our travel or somehow slow down the kidnapper¡¯s. The latter could only happen through random chance or Juniper waking up from whatever stupor she was in. For the former the only choices I knew of were riding elk or storm birds or stepping through the shadows.

    We didn¡¯t have elk or storm birds. We had shadows.

    I glanced at the sky. For another few hours until the clouds enough blocked out enough light to make it near impossible to find one dark enough to pass through. A few hours was more than enough to travel near instantaneously to wherever Juniper was but it wasn¡¯t near enough if we could still only travel to trees within eyesight.

    Juniper had traveled to a tree out of sight. Haphazardly and by accident, and she didn¡¯t go all that far, but she had done it that evening she got stuck in the shadow paths when twilight fell. If she could do it, I could do it too.

    And maybe if I at least laid eyes on her this whole stupid thing wouldn¡¯t be such a failure.

    The noise behind me quieted down as I climbed the bank of the stream that made the hollow we had taken over. Prevna found me as I was eying the darkest shadow nearby and she was just as preceptive as always.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare.¡±

    I refused to turn and look at her. If I did I¡¯d probably given in and agree to return to the Rookery. ¡°You think I can do it?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not whisper women yet. You don¡¯t have to solve everything.¡±

    ¡°What about Juniper? We don¡¯t know if they¡¯ll send out birds after her or if they¡¯ll be able to catch the kidnapper.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t cause this mess. You won¡¯t be failing if you don¡¯t fix it.¡± Prevna tried to force some levity into her voice. ¡°Let¡¯s just go back. From one horror to another, I¡¯d really not see you as an icicle again and you¡¯re already halfway there.¡±

    I kept my gaze on the shadow. I could feel the moment slipping closer and closer to the same feeling I had when Fellen and I stood across from each other in another snowy forest. Her demanding something I couldn¡¯t give, the tenuous balance between protecting her and protecting myself and trying to keep straight which action would do which. The same feeling I had when Grandmother kept asking and asking why I clung to the healer¡¯s beads until I hacked them off.

    I wasn¡¯t even sure where things had gone wrong. She wanted me to return to the Rookery. That was the smart choice. The safe choice.

    But it would mean stopping in the middle. Giving up. Failure.

    I couldn¡¯t even spin it as a strategic retreat in my mind since I knew as soon as I stepped into the Rookery I¡¯d have no more control over the situation. No other way to spin it. Someone else would take over and we¡¯d be shuffled off to the side and reduced to hoping. Praying. Pleading.

    And enough had been taken from me already. Was I supposed to stomach inaction as well?

    I did look at Prevna then. Just a tilt of my head so I could see her profile. She didn¡¯t like whatever she saw in my eyes.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare leave.¡±

    ¡°Do you think you can do it?¡± A note of something I refused to name entered my voice but she didn¡¯t answer that question either. Which was enough of an answer.

    ¡°Gimley¡ª¡±

    Prevna reached for me and I caught her wrist. No chance for poison or a regular request. ¡°I¡¯ll be back. From one horror to another.¡±

    I stepped into the shadows and, because I wasn¡¯t skilled enough to take anyone with me, when I stood on the oil slick floor I was alone.

 Book 3 - Ch. 54: Unexpected Connections

    I sat on the shadow paths¡¯ reflective ground and placed my palms down against it while smoke swirled around and obscured all the paths I could take. It was now or never. Either I made a path to Juniper or I had hurt Prevna for no reason. Abandoned her for no other reason than that I couldn¡¯t stomach having no control over a situation no one wanted me to be a part of in the first place.

    According to Fern I had the only tool that mattered for it: the ability to step into the shadows, find the one to leave from, and step out again. According to Esie I was focusing on the wrong thing. Forget about imagining trees in perfect detail and instead¡­trust everything to my intentions and the boon.

    I didn¡¯t have time to waste on trust. Even if I knew I could trust Prevna to do what she thought was best, even if I could trust in the boon¡¯s power, that didn¡¯t mean Prevna could trust me or that I could trust something from the goddess wouldn¡¯t hurt me in the long run.

    What I did have was focus and weeks of practice and the conviction that, no matter what, I couldn¡¯t return and face Prevna without a shred of success. That would be the final blow to shatter everything after the cracks I had already carved into her support to do this.

    She thought I could make it to Juniper.

    I would prove her right.

    First, I focused on the shadow I had entered. Grounded myself in its size and dark shade so that I couldn¡¯t lose the first part of my pathway. If I wasn¡¯t supposed to imagine where I was going perhaps picturing the entrance in such painstaking detail could help form the path instead. I built the image up in my mind and then reached out to find a shadow I could connect to.

    It quickly became apparent that my range wasn¡¯t wide enough to go nearly close enough to where I assumed Juniper and her kidnapper must be by now. I¡¯d still be in easy walking distance of the search party and, if I had to make multiple paths, I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d have the stamina to make it to Juniper. Better to try to make it one big jump if possible. That was what Prevna thought I could do as well.

    So I tried to focus my range in the direction that the tracks had been going instead of spread out around me in a circle. Turn it into a spear that stretched towards my target. It took several tries before I felt the shadows I could sense shift and change from the broad circle to a more focused line. It stretched into the distance, highlighting the deeper shadows, but there was nothing that indicated that Juniper might be near one of them. Nothing to know if my range now stretched far enough or not.

    That wasn¡¯t good enough. I needed to know that I¡¯d show up where I was supposed to be so I didn¡¯t waste my chance. Hana had traveled through the shadows with precision, showing up exactly where she expected to. Even Maybur, the head whisper woman of the Statue Garden, had been able to take Fellen and me to Grislander¡¯s Maw, and Caretakers weren¡¯t know for their ability to travel the shadows. Clara had been able to take me fairly close to Jin for the game of Hunter¡¯s Quarry as well and she was only a Sprout that spent most of her time in the nested library.

    Rather than mess around more with shaping my range I decided to ignore it. If I couldn¡¯t tell if Juniper was near one of the shadows then there wasn¡¯t much point in continuing to shape it in different ways. I¡¯d focus on Juniper and if she was beyond my comfortable range I¡¯d just have to force it further. After all, we made the paths which meant any limitations were our own that we had to break.

    I pretended that this was one of the tasks she had given me without warning and with dire consequences. Complete it or listen to her twist my every action she didn¡¯t like into another failure. Complete it or let her take a knife to my healer¡¯s beads because she didn¡¯t need an apprentice who couldn¡¯t handle the unexpected.

    During those tests everything else faded away until there was only the task and getting results. No matter how unfair or difficult. Right now the task was to reach Juniper.

    I built up the image of her in my head and used it to help focus my intention. Her tall, thin frame topped with a bun of brown-blond hair. Her pant leg that was constantly rolled up to show off the root like bless mark on her ankle despite her frustration at being dragged away from her tribe. Proud and melancholy and a bit innocent. Afraid of heights and terrible at shadow walking but a good leader with the right support behind her.

    I would find Juniper. There wasn¡¯t any other option. I would bend the shadows to my will and I would reach her. That was the expectation and I would make it reality.

    A flicker in the distance. A shadow that suddenly stood out more than the rest. I reached for it and tried to force a pathway between the shadows, but the connection was weak and I lost my focus on the distant shadow as soon as I tried to stretch further than my range.

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    Wrong. Again.

    I would reach Juniper. Nothing else mattered and the shadows would bend to my will. Another flicker. I took more time focusing on the distant shadow this time so that I¡¯d be less likely to lose it. Make a solid gateway like the one beneath me to anchor the path. I reached and shifted to stand and¡­lost it.

    Wrong. Again.

    And again and again.

    I didn¡¯t keep track of how many times I tried to make the path between the shadows, but I could sense the shadows losing their depth as the clouds kept covering the sky. My head felt tight and aching like it was being squeezed under the constant attempts to make the path. If I didn¡¯t travel between the shadows soon, one way or another, I¡¯d lose my chance to.

    I wasn¡¯t even sure if I was trying to connect to the same shadow over and over or if it was a different one that drew my attention each time. They could be moving or with the changing light the shadows that were dark enough for me to connect to could be shifting.

    One last chance before my concentration gave out and the shadows became too dim. One last chance not to fail.

    I focus my intent again to find a shadow that would take me to Juniper and felt a shadow flare in my perception. I clamped a hold of it and jerked it towards me so I might be able to cross the path before it unraveled. Not really giving a thought to if I was forcing the shadow into my range or forcing my range to stretch even farther¡ªor if it even mattered¡ªI tied the two shadows together as tight as I could and lunged forward.

    One step. Two. Three. I crashed through the second shadow and got a branch in my gut before slipping off and cracking my head against the cold ground. The snow softened the blow a little bit, but there wasn¡¯t as much around the base of the pine tree I had used as a gateway.

    That had been one of the worst exits I had in a while. I wanted to curl into a ball and soothe my head so it stopped feeling like it was being crushed between two rocks but I could hear movement close by. And there was flickering light nearby that seemed too bright and low to belong to the sun.

    I lifted my head and squinted towards it just in time to see a figure step into view from the other side of the large tree trunk. A man. At first I thought he must have been from the Rookery with the amount of jewelry he was wearing, but there weren¡¯t any feathers. No poncho or yellow eyes.

    Skin as dark as Loclen and Andhi, dark hair pulled back and decorated with a variety of beads. Wide features. Sleeveless shirt despite it being in the middle of the cold season and pants that didn¡¯t look thick enough for the weather either. Fancy belt with pouches and a long knife. Arm bands, several rings, one whole ear covered in rings and studs while the other had a drop that looked like a flower. A necklace that curled as tight as could around his throat. And not all of the jewelery was bone, stone, or leather. Some was¡­wood. And metal?

    I stared up at the strange man while he stared back at me until my eyes focused enough to make out the fire behind him and the bundle behind it. Juniper, bound up in fur blanket and a gag covering her mouth but she was shifting around and seemed alert.

    The moment broke. The kidnapper muttered something incomprehensible and reached for me. I scrambled to the side and went to dart past him towards Juniper but I tripped on a root. He caught my collar and there was an odd warmth that seemed to hover around his skin. I scratched at his arm and kicked out blindly. Felt him release his grip as he groaned in pain. A lucky shot between the legs.

    Darted forward again and got my knife in hand. Reached Juniper. I wedged my knife under the cord wrapped around her and the blanket, and cut it twice before I heard the kidnapper get close again. I jerked out of reach his grip again and dragged Juniper as best as I could around the far side of the fire. Further from the man but also further from the shadow that promised escape.

    Juniper got her feet under her and tried to shake off the loosened cord. The whole blanket sagged and tripped her as we ran from the kidnapper again. We both fell.

    The kidnapper dragged me up into a bear hug so my arms were pinned and said something incomprehensible again. I tried to headbutt him but I wasn¡¯t tall enough to reach his chin from where he held me.

    Juniper just stared at us as he started fishing around for something on his belt. I yelled at her, ¡°Get in the shadow!¡±

    Juniper flinched at my order but she started to shift toward it until I saw her take in the lack of other clear shadows around us, the clouds in the sky. Saw the fear of getting stuck in the shadow paths again take her over.

    I cursed.

    Then I struggled for all I was worth. Knife or something else, I wasn¡¯t going to go down without a fight. I didn¡¯t get any more lucky kicks or other hits in though. The man had me pinned and I wasn¡¯t strong enough to break his hold. I did get a few more scratches in when he forced my wrists together but I wasn¡¯t able to twist away before he had my wrists tied. He grabbed Juniper again too and tied us, back to back, in the fur blanket. I tried to get Juniper to help me fight as he bound us up but all she said was, ¡°There¡¯s nowhere to go.¡±

    I wanted to attack him in his sleep or try to slip away when he wasn¡¯t paying attention because he hadn¡¯t bound our legs, but then he got a stake from somewhere, touched one of his arm bands, and drove it into the frozen ground with one hand. After that we were tied to it on a short enough lead that we couldn¡¯t reach the tree¡¯s shadow.

    That was when I took the time to take in more of our surroundings to try to find something else we could use to get away and I saw the harp. The same harp that had been cradled in the statue¡¯s hand and that had likely put the whole Rookery to sleep.

    How could he have gotten both the harp and Juniper so quickly? Why would he even want them both? I had suspicions I wasn¡¯t sure I wanted the answer to.

 Book 3 - Ch. 55: Tied Up

    ¡°Did you even try to escape?¡±

    Between the capture and my aching head, I wasn¡¯t in the mood to be charitable.

    Juniper huffed, ¡°I did.¡±

    ¡°Could¡¯ve fooled me.¡±

    ¡°Did you really think you could win on your own?¡±

    I didn¡¯t bother to respond. She could think what she liked but the rescue operation wasn¡¯t over yet. Wouldn¡¯t be unless I got Juniper away from the kidnapper or I was too incapacitated to do anything, and being tied up didn¡¯t count. As if I¡¯d let this be a failure because a bit of rope and a blanket.

    Instead I glowered over at the kidnapper. He stared back. He had searched the surrounding area after putting the fire out. I wasn¡¯t sure if he knew I had traveled through the shadow paths or if he thought the fire had attracted my attention. Either way between the lack of fire and the cloudy sky there weren¡¯t any shadows dark enough for me or Juniper to disappear into.

    However, he also didn¡¯t seem very motivated to find a new camping spot or continue on despite the fact that I had showed up out of nowhere and it couldn¡¯t have been later than than late morning or midday. A weird time to camp and a weird lack of urgency given the running tracks the others and I had been following.

    ¡°Does he always do this?¡± I asked.

    Juniper didn¡¯t answer for a few long moments before she gave into the question¡¯s importance. ¡°Every morning. He sleeps for four or five hours, I think, before we head off again. Then he travels through the afternoon and night with only small breaks. It should have been about time to leave when you showed up, so I don¡¯t know why we¡¯re staying here.¡±

    The potential storm or my unexpected arrival would be my guess. Maybe both. Though if I was him I¡¯d have been trying to use every spare moment to get out of the goddess¡¯s territory with the stolen harp and Juniper. Then again, I doubt I would have been stupid enough to steal from Her in the first place. I was a little surprised that the kidnapper hadn¡¯t been struck down for his insolence yet.

    I kept up my questions, ¡°Do you know what he wants with you? Can he understand us?¡±

    I¡¯d been keeping my voice quiet, just in case, but there hadn¡¯t been so much as a flicker of recognition as we talked a handful of feet from the kidnapper. He also hadn¡¯t fixed Juniper¡¯s gag that had become loosened during the fight or put one on me, which seemed pretty lazy. We could be planning all sorts of things to escape and it¡¯d be pretty simple to stop that basic amount of communication. Arrogance or ignorance. He had to have one or the other.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. He hasn¡¯t reacted to anything I said except to put the gag on when I tried screaming for help at first.¡± The induced sleep must have been too strong then for us to hear.

    Juniper answered my first question next, ¡°I think he wants the pearl¡­he was¡ªhe was going to take it at first but when he touched it I think he cursed, and then he tied me up to drag me along.¡±

    Of course. The one thing that differentiated Juniper from everyone else in the Rookery¡ªother than making herself easy prey by holing up away from everyone¡ªwas the pearl she always wore. The pearl that gave her a unique power.

    My gaze strayed to the harp with a unique power. Could they be connected? From the same place? But from what I could tell the pearl had been part of Juniper¡¯s tribe for ages and the harp didn¡¯t seem like it had anything to with them. The powers weren¡¯t even alike: a harp that put people to sleep and a pearl that¡­made a bubble of water? Manipulated it? I wasn¡¯t sure if Juniper could do anything else with it.

    ¡°How would he have even known about the pearl?¡±

    Juniper shrugged, upset, ¡°How am I supposed to know? No one outside of our tribe is supposed to know about it but Mishtaw seemed to and now he ambushed me over it. Clearly he must have heard about the pearl somehow.¡±

    Or he had some other way to search out magical items. Some reason why he wanted them and was willing to take what didn¡¯t belong to him.

    ¡°Are you sure your pearl comes from a¡­snake?¡±

    Juniper tensed even further at the doubt in my voice. ¡°Yes.¡±

    I held in a sigh. Juniper always seemed to get thick headed when it came to her tribe. ¡°Why?¡±

    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.¡°Because that¡¯s how it is. The goddess granted the Water Frond Snake a boon for helping protect Her territory, the pearl, and it was passed down to us so that we could help the guardian protect the waterways from the Lady Blue.¡±

    It could be true. It could, but no matter how I searched my memory tent I couldn¡¯t recall a single myth that involved the goddess making items with special abilities except for, perhaps, the portals that made the Beloved¡¯s third trial. Some versions of the story insinuated that the portals might have already been there before her trial and the goddess did seem to deal more in marks and the landscape. Things that couldn¡¯t be removed or changed.

    Light, fluffy snow started to drift down. Not a true storm then, not enough to drive a tribe into shelter, but maybe enough to stop someone who didn¡¯t seem to be used to the weather. I eyed the kidnapper¡¯s idiotic sleeveless shirt.

    He got up to check that the harp was secure against the tree and that none of the snow was reaching it through the pine¡¯s thick branches. He didn¡¯t need to be so worried about it, given that I was sure the harp had been through much worse weather up on the statue but, if it kept us where we were so the others had a chance to make up some of the distance, I¡¯d take it.

    Then he did another quick perimeter check, staying mostly under the pine¡¯s branches, and I noticed something odd. The snow would melt an inch or so from his skin. The spot he had been sitting had a patch of melted snow too. There really was something keeping the air around him unnaturally warm. However, it didn¡¯t entirely help him against the falling snow. Once the snow melted it still mostly hit him as little drops of rain. If he ran out in it long enough he¡¯d probably get soaked through as if he was out in a downpour and that didn¡¯t lend itself to traveling comfortably or quickly. This was also probably his best chance to take a break if he didn¡¯t want to worry about whisper women popping out of the shadows. If he even knew about them.

    The more I saw and the more I heard, the more I was convinced the kidnapper wasn¡¯t from the goddess¡¯s territory. Maybe he was from some remote corner that spoke an unintelligible dialect, but given the direction he hadn¡¯t deviated from¡ªstraight for the Barrier Mountains¡ªand his odd clothes, his willingness to kidnap the harp and a Sprout, and the unnatural abilities he¡¯d displayed between driving a stake into solid, frozen ground with one hand in one motion and the odd warmth around him¡­it all didn¡¯t add up otherwise. If I could get a good look at one of his wrists to see if he had the common blessing or not, I¡¯d know for sure.

    As it was he kept his distance from us and let us talk, but he also kept a close eye to make sure we didn¡¯t try anything. I got the sense that I was an annoying dilemma to his plans. If he had been carrying Juniper and the harp this whole time there wouldn¡¯t be room for me but it also seemed like he didn¡¯t want to kill me. I made sure neither Juniper or I even hinted at my particular blessing in case he could understand us. So his options for me were drag me along behind, which would slow him down, or leave me behind and let someone else rescue me but also risk whatever information I could tell them about him and his abilities.

    I liked that I was at least a difficulty given that everything else had gone sideways. If he took me with them that could me more chances to slow him down and escape with Juniper. If I was left behind I could work my way to the nearest shadow and ambush him again or use my new ability with the shadows to return to the Rookery and increase the urgency to rescue her and the harp there. Maybe they¡¯d actually be in touch with whisper women who could help at that point.

    Juniper had an odd mix reactions to getting kidnapped. I think she could have tried harder to escape on her own, but she was insistent that she just would have been captured again right away and that the man kept her away from shadows as best as he could so she couldn¡¯t use those. She seemed like she wanted to get away the kidnapper but she also didn¡¯t seem that excited to return to the Rookery. I think if she had her way she¡¯d suddenly reappear at her tribe and carry on as if she hadn¡¯t been away for nearly a year.

    Part of me wanted to have that happen, just so that she¡¯d be faced with her tribe¡¯s rejection, be forced to realize that those with bless marks didn¡¯t get to be anything but whisper women, but another part of me was very quietly worried that she might break apart if she was confronted with that reality. Especially when she was still in the middle of a fight with what little she had left of her support system.

    The weather got colder but a couple hours later the snow stopped. The kidnapper eyed the sky and seemed to come to a decision. He untied the cord around the blanket but got a firm grip on Juniper and me before we could make a break for it. I still did my best to make his life difficult.

    He drove a knee in my gut and used the couple moments of respite as I gasped, stunned and winded, to tie me back up and pull Juniper away. She was gagged again, I wasn¡¯t, and then he tied her to a low hanging branch before hefting the harp onto his back. It dangled diagonally from the straps he had attached to it and he touched one of his armbands again. Immediately after his posture straightened, no longer seeming as burdened by the large instrument¡¯s weight. He untied Juniper, gave me one last look, scooped her up while she struggled a little, and ran off into the woods.

    I glared after them. There still weren¡¯t any decent shadows for me to slip into and escape, and he had tied his knots well and tight. I would have yelled after them but I doubted he¡¯d understand any of the insults I wanted to say and Juniper was too out of her element to act and escape like she should. Surely there had to be some sort of chance while he slept?

    For now I had to focus on not getting frostbite until the shadows returned. The kidnapper had left me with the fur blanket, so hopefully he had another way to keep Juniper warm, but it didn¡¯t protect my legs very well, so I levered myself up and paced as best as I could.

    I wasn¡¯t sure how long it was later when I heard a bird¡¯s cry and looked up to see one of the storm birds circling overhead.

 Book 3 - Ch. 56: Almost There

    Mishtaw took a moment to take me in, blanket wrapped and tied to a stake. ¡°Why am I not surprised to find you here?¡±

    I just stared at her. Too shocked at the random appearance of my new mentor to take offense at her tone, somewhere between jaded and insulting. If a whisper woman was going to appear by all rights it should have been Barra. But there was no way too mix up the two. Not between Barra¡¯s niceties and round about way of doing things, and Mishtaw¡¯s direct pragmatism.

    Mishtaw crouched down to begin untying me despite the knife on her belt that could have made the process faster. ¡°What¡¯s your reason?¡±

    I resisted the urge to swallow and give a sign of my sudden nerves. Mishtaw always heard me out but that didn¡¯t mean she¡¯d blindly accept my answers. And she always seemed to understand more than I wanted her to.

    She paused, ¡°I could leave you tied up and send you back to the Rookery.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d take me with you to go after Juniper?¡±

    ¡°Depends on your answer.¡±

    I gave her my reason as she resumed untying the kidnapper¡¯s knots. ¡°Juniper went missing and someone needed to go after her. It didn¡¯t seem like anyone from the Rookery would help because of all the hurt birds and people.¡±

    Mishtaw leveled a look at me. ¡°From what Tufani told me you didn¡¯t even bring this matter to her attention. You wanted to do it yourself.¡±

    The last bit should have been a question but there was no mistaking the certainty in her voice. I glared back at her. ¡°I wanted to help Juniper.¡±

    She snorted. ¡°If you wanted to help her you would have told Tufani instead of sneaking away on your own. The tribe wouldn¡¯t abandon a Sprout, especially one in their care. No, this was one of your impulsive actions, wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°Why are you here?¡±

    Mishtaw made a satisfied noise as she got the last of the knots untied and she stood back up before she went over to the stake. She wasn¡¯t able to pull it out of the ground but she did get that end of the rope untied as well before she gathered it up in loops and tied it to her belt.

    ¡°Well?¡± I pressed. My hands were still tied and the blanket had slipped down around my feet. I felt like a toddler at the mercy of an adult and I didn¡¯t like it.

    ¡°If you won¡¯t answer my question I don¡¯t see why you should expect me to answer yours.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡±

    When I didn¡¯t continue Mishtaw pressed her lips together. ¡°I assume you didn¡¯t tie yourself to the stake? Tell me what you noticed.¡±

    There was no point in holding that information back. I told her all about the kidnapper and his weird jewelry and clothes and incomprehensible speech. I told her about Juniper¡¯s attitude and condition too. She freed my hands and tied the blanket around my shoulders while I spoke.

    ¡°He had the harp?¡± she asked. ¡°How many arm bands did he have?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t see how the number mattered, but I answered the question after I nodded to answer the first. ¡°Two on each arm. He put straps on it to carry it on his back while Juniper is in his arms. It wasn¡¯t natural how he could carry it without tipping over backward from the weight.¡±

    Mishtaw made a dismissive, cutting gesture. ¡°That¡¯s a common trick the Envoys have. From what you¡¯ve said he has the speed and endurance boosters as well. The storm bird should still be faster but we shouldn¡¯t waste time.¡±

    She let out a sharp whistle and the storm bird that had been circling overhead let out a an answering cry before lowering closer to the ground. The long knotted rope Mishtaw had climbed down hit the ground near us. She started climbing immediately. I wasn¡¯t looking forward to the unstable climb, especially with the blanket weighing me down but the rope was already to lift from the ground again as the storm bird kept flying. I latched on and climbed as quick as I could after Mishtaw so that I wouldn¡¯t get tugged off by any branches the rope accidentally got too close to before the storm bird rose high enough clear the top of the trees.

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    It was a miserable climb. The rope wanted to move every which way between the open air and Mishtaw¡¯s movements  making it shift. It was also much longer than the standard ladders I¡¯d seen to get into a storm bird¡¯s saddle so far. Tufani had mentioned the use of the knotted rope when whisper women needed to go some place that didn¡¯t have a good landing spot for the birds but I hadn¡¯t appreciated the sheer climbing challenge it represented at the time.

    My arms and legs shook by the time Mishtaw helped heave me into the saddle and I couldn¡¯t speak I was panting too hard. She got the fur blanket off me and stowed away in a sack tied to the saddle before she rolled up the knotted rope and got that stored as well. She pointed for me to wedge myself into the side of the saddle like I had when I had flown with Tufani. My arms strongly protested gripping anything else but I did as she ordered. This way there was at least a chance I could finish what I had started.

    She settled down next to me and slightly over top. I focused on maintaining my grip to take my mind off the enclosing contact while she gave the storm bird directions with a few taps of her foot. Then we were off, faster than I remembered any of the storm birds going before, except for maybe when they were trying to throw us out of the saddle.

    I did have to fight to maintain my grip and not elbow Mishtaw in the neck or chest as the storm bird picked up speed in great swooping dives and rising on the wind currents. Mishtaw seemed more comfortable in the saddle than I would have given her credit for, but maybe flying was one of those things you didn¡¯t forget how to do.

    Questions pressed at my tongue but I didn¡¯t want to accidentally bite it and with how fast we were flying the wind would likely whip away anything I said before Mishtaw could hear it. At least it meant Mishtaw would be less likely to dig into my reasons for everything too.

    But what was an Envoy and why did she seem to recognize the group the kidnapper might belong to? Why was she here? She had abandoned me practically as soon as she had been named my mentor. Was Barra awake? Had she reached out to other whisper women? Were the rest of cohort fine despite the snow and still headed back to the Rookery? Would we be able to rescue Juniper?

    All questions that needed answers, but I probably wouldn¡¯t get them until this whole idiotic situation was over. So we flew in silence as the wind rushed past and feathers rustled. As the day continued on some of the clouds broke up and let more light through. So there might be some decent shadows to escape into when we reached Juniper and her kidnapper.

    Mishtaw shouted in my ear, ¡°We won¡¯t be able to sneak up on them. We¡¯ll need to cut them off.¡± She pointed at something but I couldn¡¯t raise my head enough with how we were positioned to see over the bird¡¯s wing. I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised if it was a large harp attached to a running man¡¯s back.

    The bird suddenly banked to the left and I had to bite back a yelp. I didn¡¯t like that I couldn¡¯t see why we were moving away from where she had pointed, but if we were circling around to get into position I had to be ready for whatever came next.

    I couldn¡¯t have been ready for what came next. Mishtaw tapped our bird with her foot and it dove straight for the trees. Mishtaw yelled in my ear again, ¡°Hold onto me as soon as the dive stops.¡±

    The last thing I wanted was to let go of the handles but I figured she needed me out of the way to let down the ladder or knotted rope. The bird¡¯s wings snapped out and I twisted and latched onto her arm. We skimmed over the top of the woods as she hauled me into a sitting position, eyes focused solely on the area in front of us.

    ¡°Now.¡±

    She shoved back from the left handle with her feet and then we were tipping over the bird¡¯s right side, just behind its wing. That was when I noticed she didn¡¯t have the safety lines tied to her belt or anything else to connect us to the bird. No ladder, no rope.

    Just free fall.

    A short scream burst from my throat though I really should have been used to falling by now. I tried to twist, to see if we were about to crash into branches or unforgiving ground, but Mishtaw held me tightly in place. I could turn my head enough to see over her shoulder. A large, decent shadow cast by a large pine outlined by a ray of sunlight that had broken through the clouds.

    Mishtaw reached out a hand and I expected hear her bones snap but then the oil and smoke world of the shadow paths surrounded us. I braced for impact again. The world wrenched around us and I had to close my eyes against the queasy sensation threatening to up end my guts. The shock of cold air and finally a thump against ground that wasn¡¯t nearly as hard as it should have been.

    I opened my eyes to find that we were under the same tree whose shadow we had just fallen into. Mishtaw was already up and brushing the snow off her pants. ¡°We need to move quickly. We¡¯re in front for now and the bird will act as a distraction, but he might not keep his path as straight as he has been. This way.¡±

    She ran off in the direction she¡¯d indicated and I scrambled after her. ¡°Why didn¡¯t we just drop on top of him?¡±

    ¡°No good shadows and the rope would take too long. He¡¯d see us coming and adjust before we¡¯d ever reach him.¡±

    ¡°Why are you the only one who came?¡±

    ¡°The other fliers are escorting the rest of your cohort back to the Rookery. Now run.¡±

    We ran.

    Mishtaw didn¡¯t use her blessing yet but it still felt like we were nearly flying over the snow and past the wide spaced pines. I kept my eyes out for any hidden roots or other tripping hazards as we sprinted toward the kidnapper and Juniper.

 Book 3 - Ch. 57: Battle for Harp and Pearl

    We spotted the kidnapper before he spotted us. He seemed to have one eye on sky, so Mishtaw¡¯s falling trick must have worked. The harp was still strapped to his back and Juniper lay still in his arms. I couldn¡¯t tell if he had put her to sleep or if she had just given up.

    ¡°Get Juniper,¡± Mishtaw said before pulling her prayer needle free, pricking her wrist, and putting it away again in one fluid motion. ¡°Blood and honor to the goddess.¡±

    Then she let out her whooping cry and I felt my strength and agility increase, pushing our sprint through the forest even faster. The kidnapper¡¯s attention snapped over to us at the noise but Mishtaw had timed the use of her blessing well. He likely would have noticed us in the next couple of moments anyway, and now we had the initiative and unexpected speed on our side. He started to curve away from us but Mishtaw threw her spear at the ground by his feet. He tripped over its haft and Juniper tumbled out of his arms. There was a muffled cry as she hit the ground but from what I could tell she didn¡¯t hit any vital.

    Mishtaw closed the distance and went to knee the kidnapper in face as he got to his knees. He dropped back to the ground, her knee only hitting air, and tried to take my mentor with him. I left them to their grappling fight and hoped Mishtaw would be able to keep her edge on him despite his higher strength and size. If I tried to get involved I¡¯d probably just get the way, so I did what I was told and circled around the fight to reach Juniper.

    She was struggling against her bonds now, but without something sharp to cut them on she was doing a better job of bruising herself than twisting free. At some point the kidnapper has tied up her ankles and linked that cord to the one tying her wrists together. I pulled off her gag and got to work on cutting ankles free. Better that she could run first.

    ¡°How are you here?¡± She stared at me, wide-eyed.

    I recalled a previous conversation and smiled back. It felt a bit feral. ¡°Spite.¡±

    She laughed before her gaze caught on the scene behind me. ¡°Hurry!¡±

    I did. The cord on her ankles snapped free and I pulled it away from her feet so she couldn¡¯t trip over it like she had with the blanket. I was cutting through the cord on her wrists when Juniper suddenly shoved me to the side and rolled in the opposite direction. I lost my grip on my knife and it landed near Juniper. Mishtaw landed on her back exactly where we had been. A gash bleeding down the length of her left forearm.

    Apparently, the kidnapper didn¡¯t have the same restrictions against killing that we did. Or he thought he was skilled enough with his long knife that he wouldn¡¯t cause killing injuries, but that wasn¡¯t a smart risk to take. Not when it came to the goddess. Death was still Her domain.

    We could kill the fish and other sea monsters all day long and She wouldn¡¯t care, but as soon as Mishtaw had used her spear to trip him instead of going for a killing blow, I knew that he was supposed to be treated as any rival tribe member or Picker band thief: you could beat them senseless, tie them up in the elements if you were feeling nasty, but outright killing was asking for the goddess¡¯s wrath.

    The kidnapper strode toward us, long knife in hand. He apparently didn¡¯t have the same qualms despite the fact that he hadn¡¯t tried to kill me when I first ambushed him. Maybe he thought I was a child. I glowered at him as Mishtaw shot up like a snake striking, getting inside his guard. He aimed for her back, she blocked and elbowed him in the gut with her other arm. The harp¡¯s weight threw his balance off and he crashed to the ground. Mishtaw stomped on his hand. Something snapped and he released the knife with a cry. She swiped it up as he struggled to get up off his back.

    His thumb touched one of his rings. The world went white. I couldn¡¯t see anything. Snow crunched. A series of thumps, people moving around, someone groaned in pain. I rubbed my eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to clear my vision, trying not to be totally defenseless. Blurry shapes were coming into focus when Juniper screamed.

    I rushed towards the noise and struck at the largest blob in my vision. It shifted and my knuckles connected with wood. Pain lanced up through my hand and up my arm. Nothing felt broken but they¡¯d be badly bruised. Lucky.

    Instead of punching again, I reached out with my other hand to grab onto whatever I could reach. Orient myself based on what I felt rather than the little I could see. A handful of tunic and the kidnapper sounded like he was cursing. Something large moved toward my head and I ducked before his arm could clip me in the ear. Juniper was close, screaming that he couldn¡¯t take something.

    I reached up and latched onto the arm that had almost hit me. Better to be a hindrance than a liability. I bit too. A painful hindrance.

    He yelled and tried to pry me off. I refused. He¡¯d get one arm or leg loose but I¡¯d clamp down with the other three I still had around his arm so he couldn¡¯t pull me free. He tried to pull me off a couple times by my waist but he couldn¡¯t get the best angle and I did my best to make I didn¡¯t make it any easier.

    My vision cleared more so that everything was only somewhat fuzzy by the time the kidnapper found my braid and started yanking on it. Tears stung my eyes as it felt like he was pulling every single one of hairs out but I refused to let go. I didn¡¯t know where Juniper or Mishtaw were or why it didn¡¯t seem like they were attack him now, but I couldn¡¯t let him gain the advantage and keep the chase going by snatching up Juniper again.

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    ¡°Let her go!¡± Juniper¡¯s voice. ¡°Let us go or I¡¯ll cut the strings!¡±

    An eating knife waved around on the edge of my vision. I wasn¡¯t sure if it¡¯d be enough to snap string that had stood up to the elements for who knew how many years and I doubted the kidnapper understood a word of she said. But he did seem to understand that Juniper was on his back with a knife and he didn¡¯t like that. He started reaching for her instead of me and I did everything I could to hinder his movements.

    It didn¡¯t take him long to decide enough was enough. He strode over purposefully to a tree and slammed me against its trunk. On the third hit the hand that had punched the harp refused to grip anything and everything else felt one giant bruise too. He pried me off him and threw me onto the ground. Then he went after Juniper. She was perched on the harp, clinging to it and crouched down so he couldn¡¯t reach her.

    I tried to get up, to keep fighting, but my left arm and leg weren¡¯t ready to support much weight after being thrown into a tree three times. My vision cleared all the way and I finally spotted Mishtaw. On the ground. Not moving.

    I didn¡¯t want to believe she could go down so easily. That she would be gone right after I got her back. That without her this fight was going just as badly as the first one.

    The fight needed to be over. Now. If she was dying time was of the essence.

    So what did I have?

    My spear, though I couldn¡¯t kill him. My sling and stones. My waterskin and random pouches filled with things that weren¡¯t helpful right now¡­and Rawley¡¯s gift. The poisoner¡¯s pouch I had neglected since healing was officially taken from me. I hadn¡¯t replaced the jar that had shattered during the water snake fight or two others that had cracked. Nor had I added more poisons to have on hand, but I did still have my mostly full jar of the Black Root poison. As long as I didn¡¯t give the kidnapper too much, it could be the advantage we needed.

    I just needed to get up and shove some in his mouth.

    The kidnapper was slipping out of the straps he had put on the harp so he could go after Juniper more easily. I wouldn¡¯t make it in time. Trying for the next best option I had strained to pull my short spear free. It was made to come out of its spot easily if I used my right hand but that hand was useless since I punched the harp and my left arm wasn¡¯t much better after the beating it took against the tree.

    Juniper leapt off the harp and ran for it. The kidnapper scrambled to get the harp back properly in place on his back before he chased after her. That gave Juniper the time she needed to set her trap. I saw her cupped hands, the water dribbling behind her, the glowing pearl on her forehead. The kidnapper didn¡¯t¡ªor didn¡¯t care. He stepped down on the wet ground.

    ¡°Surge!¡±

    At Juniper¡¯s command the water surged up around him. He thrashed for a bit before he suddenly focused on Juniper and stilled. Then he reached up and touched his necklace. The bubble of water burst and he landed on the ground with a small thump. He started forward again but hesitated when Juniper raised her cupped hands threateningly. One of his hands reached back protectively around the harp. I doubted Juniper could do her special move again right away but at least she made the threat convincing.

    More water poured out over her cupped fingers.

    I also wasn¡¯t sure how he had canceled out her power but I hoped he couldn¡¯t do it repeatedly either. He glanced around at the three of us and the bird circling overhead. I did my best to look threatening while focusing on the harp. The storm bird let out a fierce cry and dove for the trees.

    The kidnapper said something that didn¡¯t sound kind and pulled the harp off his back again. I could see where this was going and I had no way to stop it. Not from this distance. I shoved myself up and ignored the screaming pain as I tried to make my left leg take my weight. It held until I tried to take a step. Then I was nose down in the snow and dirt while his fingers were nearly to the strings.

    A rock struck him in the back of the head. I turned my head to find Mishtaw up on one knee, sling in hand. He slumped, nearly falling over before he braced himself on the harp. Blood was already staining the back of his shirt. He shook his head while bringing one hand back to the strings. Another stone hit him in the shoulder but he played a note.

    High and sweet it swept through the air and tiredness immediately dragged at my eyelids. Interestingly it seemed to drag at the kidnapper too. He slumped more against the harp as we all fought to stay awake. A branch broke over head before the storm bird¡¯s loud cry jolted me fully awake. Thankfully it hadn¡¯t plummeted into sleep right away but it had lost control of its flight long enough to hit a tree branch. Now the storm bird was flying away as quickly as it could.

    Juniper drooped where she stood and Mishtaw had collapsed back tot he ground. The harp¡¯s pull seemed to be stronger now that we right by it. One note had nearly pulled me under when Prevna and I had lasted for minutes before. He couldn¡¯t be allowed to keep playing.

    If I couldn¡¯t walk then I¡¯d crawl. I shoved my way forward and gritted my teeth against the pain the protested every movement.

    ¡°Plug your ears!¡± That was Mishtaw.

    That was what I should have done the first night the kidnapper played the storming harp but then it had been the choice between that and keeping Prevna upright. Now it was the choice between that and having any ability to move forward. I chose movement even as I saw Juniper listen to Mishtaw¡¯s advice.

    He played another note and drooped closer to the ground. My eyes closed and I had to shock myself awake by burying my face in the snow. I couldn¡¯t spare any more attention for how the others were faring but overall this was very different from the fluid music that had played on that first night even if each individual note was more powerful. Perhaps he had something to protect him from the music then.

    Our eyes met as I dragged myself closer to him and something in his expression changed. Not fear but something else. With what looked like a great effort he lifted one hand and pressed one his rings between his eyes. Immediately he looked more alert but he was still bleeding from his head wound and he wobbled as he stood up. He played one more note and nearly collapsed again. He spat something like a curse, got the harp back on his back, and cast one last look at all of us. Then he ran off. Slower and more wobbly than before but still too quick for any us to catch him with our own injuries.

 Book 3 - Ch. 58: Slim Winnings

    Tufani scowled at me from across her hut. I did my best to scowl back while Ressia finished treating my wounds. Because of course the Black Handed Healer was one of the ones sent to help the Rookery once the Seedling Palace was made aware of what had happened. Ressia had winked at me when she said that she made it a point to get sent on any missions away from the Palace.

    Between Mishtaw, Juniper, and me we were able to support each other enough to follow the storm bird to a clearing and climb on. Storm bird saddles weren¡¯t made for three people, especially one with a crippling fear of heights, but Mishtaw had us sit upright and tied us in place so we didn¡¯t have to hang on. She didn¡¯t really direct the bird either other than giving the signal for ¡®go home¡¯. It made for an uncomfortable journey but it was better than going after the storming kidnapper again.

    I could tell Mishtaw had wanted to keep up the chase, but between her injuries, and Juniper and me, she had decided the best choice of action was to regroup at the Rookery first. Which meant I had the dubious honor of explaining to her and Tufani what exactly my plan had been and where it had all gone wrong while Ressia listened in.

    They didn¡¯t interrupt as I spun the story in the best light and to the point as possible. They didn¡¯t need to know all of the extra bits.

    ¡°Why would you think taking a pack of Sprouts after an unknown kidnapper in the middle of the cold season without anyway to make fire would be a good idea?¡± Tufani pressed.

    I started to cross my arms but had to stop when my bludgeoned arm protested. ¡°You would have stopped us. Someone needed to go after Juniper.¡±

    ¡°And I would have sent fliers. Huntresses. People who wouldn¡¯t have to worry about freezing to death as they slept because they could make a fire.¡±

    ¡°You took two days to figure out we were gone. You wouldn¡¯t have had anyone to spare.¡±

    Tufani thumped her cane. ¡°There would have been, had I known they were needed to retrieve a Sprout.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°Gimley.¡± That was Mishtaw.

    I shut up. She was bruised all over too and in no mood for back talk. Luckily she only had to one knife wound down her forearm¡ªshe had taken a gamble and thrown the kidnapper¡¯s unwieldy blade into the woods after he blinded us. That way she didn¡¯t risk him taking the weapon back from her or accidentally killing him while she couldn¡¯t see and trying to use an unfamiliar weapon. He could have gone after it but the kidnapper had opted for fighting her barehanded and knocking her out instead before going after Juniper again.

    Mishtaw loomed large as she stood next to where Tufani at her table. ¡°You have a habit of running around on your own and causing trouble.¡±

    ¡°I brought others th¡ª¡±

    ¡°And you abandoned them.¡± Mishtaw glowered down at me. ¡°Insubordination. Risking your fellow cohort¡¯s lives and then abandoning them to run off on your own. None of this can stand if you want to become a whisper woman.¡±

    As if I have much choice. I couldn¡¯t say the bitter thought out loud but the tone still coated what burst out of my mouth next, ¡°I was trying to save Juniper!¡±

    Mishtaw gave me a look that said she knew that wasn¡¯t only thing I was trying to do.

    Tufani said, ¡°And you went about it in the most idiotic way possible. Like a hatchling thinking it can fly simply by spreading its wings.¡±

    I wanted to keep arguing, could feel the words building up on my tongue, but nothing I said was helping my case. It only dug me deeper into their ire. So I clenched my jaw and refused to give them any more bait.

    They seemed to take that as me accepting my fate. Mishtaw gestured to the hut¡¯s entrance with her chin. ¡°Go. We¡¯ll decide your punishment and if you don¡¯t stay in the Rookery¡ªwhere you can be easily found¡ªI¡¯ll triple it.¡±

    I left the hut, stiff and slow but without any help, and Ressia followed me out. She stretched as soon as we reached the open air. ¡°Tense enough to cut in there.¡±

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    I didn¡¯t want to go back the hut we had been given, but I needed to speak with Prevna and I wasn¡¯t sure where else I could go in the Rookery that wouldn¡¯t look like I was trying to hide away. The feathered tree maybe, or Tufani¡¯s hut if I hadn¡¯t just been kicked out of it.

    A squawk sounded from in front of me and I couldn¡¯t dodge before a giant beak descended and plucked me off the ground. Anore seemed quite pleased with herself as she carried me back to a nest and gently tucked me against her chest after she settled into it.

    ¡°No, I need to¡ªAnore, I can¡¯t stay here.¡±

    The bird didn¡¯t seem to care. Despite my pathetic struggles to climb out of the nest, she¡¯d just nudge me back where she wanted me and I didn¡¯t have the strength to force myself free.

    Ressia climbed the nest and took in the sight with a smile. ¡°Cozy?¡±

    I glared up at her.

    She chuckled. ¡°Enjoy it while you can. The Relic Seeker can¡¯t let a relic get stolen that easily. Now that your her apprentice, you might have to go harrying off after that guy who gave you all those injuries.¡±

    My eyebrows drew together. ¡°Relic Seeker?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°If something old and odd gets found or goes missing, she¡¯s the one that gets called in.¡±

    ¡°But Mishtaw was in charge of a squad when we fought at the shore.¡±

    Ressia shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know the full story but sometimes she gets special privileges like that when it comes to the Peacekeepers.¡± She leaned closer like she was sharing a secret while Anore kept a careful eye on her. ¡°Word is that she might have trained with the Peacekeepers first before switching to the Seekers. Or that Eliss refuses to be in charge of a squad if Mishtaw is involved with an operation.¡±

    It was difficult to imagine anyone but Mishtaw could be in charge of that group of four and it wouldn¡¯t surprise me if they often got placed together with how well they worked together. Though I also didn¡¯t think that the sects would be so willing to work together and lose some of their resources to another sect just so partners could work together.

    ¡°So she¡¯s here for the harp?¡±

    Ressia¡¯s expression softened. ¡°I¡¯m sure she appreciates seeing her apprentice too.¡±

    Right. I¡¯m sure I¡¯d see some of that appreciation soon after she decided what punishment I deserved for making her life difficult and making it even harder to retrieve the harp she was responsible for. Of course she wouldn¡¯t disappear and leave me behind immediately like she had right after being named my mentor and a hurried shadow walking lesson.

    Ressia noticed my mood and let me be after that. I snuggled into Anore¡¯s chest feathers and tried to wait the bird out after the healer disappeared from view. I needed to speak with Prevna but unless she found me it didn¡¯t seem like that would be happening any time soon.

    From what I had been told when we arrived back in the Rookery, Barra was awake now, though she had been found asleep on top of the statue by the flier sent out to retrieve her. She was the one who finally got word out to the Seedling Palace, who then sent three healers to help the Rookery and contacted Mishtaw to hunt after the missing harp. My stunt had disrupted that whole plan because instead of focusing on the harp they then had to focus on retrieving most of the cohort. Never mind that Juniper¡¯s idiotic plan to camp out in hidey hole had already led to her capture at that point or that they had sent out one whisper woman to go after a kidnapper who apparently had at least half a dozen different magical tricks up his sleeve. Not that he was smart enough to wear sleeves.

    Things that I had never seen before nor a method that made sense. All he had to do was touch a piece of jewelry and then he¡¯d suddenly have incredible strength or clarity when he should have been on his knees from a head wound and a concussion. A sudden blinding flash that turned the whole fight in his favor.

    We only got a single blessing and it was like he had as many as he wanted. If every single piece of jewelry he wore had a blessing inside¡­I swallowed. Then we wouldn¡¯t have stood a chance if he had thought to use them all.

    There had to be a limit to it. Something that stopped him from using every single hidden blessing he had. Otherwise, if he was from beyond the goddess¡¯s territory, I didn¡¯t see how we weren¡¯t overrun by kidnappers and relic thieves. Except for pure, understandable fear of the goddess Herself. She wouldn¡¯t tolerate a horde of people invading her territory.

    Awhile later Anore let out a whistling call and I heard someone deftly climbing up the side of the nest. Prevna. She gave me a once over while her lips pressed together. Then she dropped down into the nest next to me and leaned back against Anore¡¯s feathers. No knowing smiles or mischievous comments. No bump against the shoulder.

    Just, ¡°Did you solve everything?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t look at her. Didn¡¯t want to say anything either unless I dug myself another hole like I had with Tufani and Mishtaw, but she didn¡¯t seem to be in the mood to wait through one of my silences and if this was my one chance to make sure everything hadn¡¯t cracked completely, then I had to try.

    But my answer might be just as bad as the silence.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°But you got Juniper back. Like you said you would.¡±

    ¡°We barely fought the kidnapper off.¡±

    Prevna tipped her head back and rubbed her face with her hands. ¡°You look like it too.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t deny that. It had been a rough fight.

    She sighed and dropped her hands back down to her sides. ¡°You left me behind after you said you weren¡¯t going to next time.¡±

    I wanted to apologize but I couldn¡¯t make the word form. It didn¡¯t feel adequate, especially when we both knew that I might do it again.

    ¡°Just¡­tell me that you regret it.¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± my voice was a hoarse whisper.

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    We sat in the nest, quiet and cozy, for a while longer before Prevna climbed back out. Anore picked me up by the collar and set me down outside the nest next to her. Things weren¡¯t perfect, but at least they weren¡¯t completely broken.

 Book 3 - Ch. 59: Going in Circles

    The entire cohort gathered around the feathered tree the morning after everyone returned to the Rookery. Tufani and Mishtaw had put the word out that punishment would be handed down soon and everyone was expected to be present. Tufani¡¯s hut was still acting as headquarters for the upper half of the Rookery, though the chaos from the harp¡¯s music was winding down, and they didn¡¯t want us in the way. Or getting ideas. So we got regulated to the tree that was symbolic to the Rookery tribe but that most people gave a respectful distance.

    Wren was perched up on a bottom branch talking with Chirp while Dera sat on another branch next to hers, looking decidedly more uncomfortable. Ulo leaned up against the tree¡¯s trunk, gloating. She thought she was going to get off without a bit of blame and thought it was very amusing that everyone else was going to get in trouble for going along with my plan. To her credit, Andhi seemed a bit embarrassed at Ulo¡¯s behavior. She was trying to hide it behind a smile and nodding along with whatever Ulo was saying, but I could see the embarrassment in the way she was standing all the same.

    Loclen, Nii, and Breck formed another group near the edge of the feathered tree¡¯s branches. They all shared a newfound irritation with me because I had abandoned them in the woods. Loclen thought I had put her through unnecessary effort and discomfort, and Breck warned me that while honor and gaining glory in stories was good, trying to steal glory from others and leaving them without the chance to earn their own stories wasn¡¯t. Nii hadn¡¯t bothered to tell me about her displeasure but I gathered it likely had to do with the fact that the first big thing after her recent split from Andhi and Ulo hadn¡¯t gone well and she blamed me.

    Juniper, Ento, and Idra made up another group though they weren¡¯t as at ease with each other as they used to be. Ento and Idra had hardly left Juniper¡¯s side since we returned and both didn¡¯t think well of me for going on without them either. Apparently, they rescued Juniper or no one did. Between her conviction that she belonged back with her tribe and her recent kidnapping, Juniper was more melancholy than ever. It wasn¡¯t surprising that the lack of recent successes weighed on her. Meanwhile Idra kept switching between acting apologetic and making sharp comments about Juniper¡¯s idiotic capture. Ento made dry comments of her own but they mostly seemed to be trying to ease the tension between the other two.

    Prevna walked by me as we finished making our way over to the tree and settled in to wait. She hadn¡¯t yet forgiven me fully for going on my own again either, but she kept by me in solidarity. From one horror to another and all that. I wasn¡¯t sure how to respond to her¡­kindness, but I hoped she took my awkward silence more as stoic appreciation.

    ¡°So Tufani really didn¡¯t notice we were all missing right away?¡± Loclen asked.

    Wren let her head fall back against the tree. ¡°No. We said that everyone was helping out in other parts of the Rookery and she didn¡¯t have much time to go out and check. But then she realized she realized that was only hearing about four of us in her reports and¡­¡±

    ¡°We tried to keep her calm.¡± Dera fidgeted. ¡°We explained where you went and why.¡±

    ¡°Tufani wasn¡¯t happy that we didn¡¯t tell her right away and that you were all in danger without her knowledge. And then Mishtaw arrived and that didn¡¯t help either,¡± Wren said.

    It made sense that Tufani wouldn¡¯t enjoy looking like a fool in front of a whisper woman, especially when it came to the Sprouts she had been put in charge of. The overall situation wasn¡¯t good either between Barra getting knocked unconscious while taking glass from the statue, multiple injured and a couple dead snow birds, and a kidnapped Sprout that apparently we didn¡¯t trust her enough to tell her about.

    A situation I should have considered more before I decided to take matters into my own hands, but I hadn¡¯t been willing to stay trapped in a place we had already been attacked in without warning. Had our control taken away and forced to sleep. Part of me itched to leave again, but I could ignore the impulse now. It helped that I was sure the kidnapper wouldn¡¯t circle back for Juniper, not while he still had the harp. That was why he cut his losses in the end; the harp seemed to be more valuable to him than whatever he wanted with Juniper and her pearl.

    ¡°This is why you shouldn¡¯t have listened to her,¡± Ulo scowled at me. ¡°She doesn¡¯t care about anyone else around her.¡±

    ¡°Like you do,¡± I muttered.

    Prevna gave me a side eyed look of exasperated amusement while Ulo straightened up. ¡°What was that?¡±

    I knew this wasn¡¯t the time or place but I didn¡¯t keep my tongue in check as much as I should have. ¡°I said that we must be a lot alike then. Since you couldn¡¯t be trusted to focus on the mission instead of starting a fight.¡±

    ¡°Enough.¡±

    Mishtaw and Tufani rounded the last line of nests before crossing the open grassy area to reach us. I didn¡¯t think we had been that loud but the breeze must have carried our words. Or Tufani had seen us picking at each other enough that she knew what it looked like on sight.

    Tufani thumped her cane down as they stopped in front of us. ¡°You are all to blame. All of you had the chance to inform me that Juniper had been taken instead of keeping it quiet.¡± Her gaze took us all in. ¡°Ten laps. You will run around the Rookery until you complete your punishment. Take the time to reflect on what you did wrong so you will not make the same mistake in the future.¡±

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    My eyes widened. Ten laps¡­that was more than triple the number of laps that Tufani ever made us do in a row. I wasn¡¯t sure my legs would hold out between the sheer distance and needing to go up and down the switchbacks.

    They weren¡¯t done. Mishtaw focused on me. ¡°Because you were so keen on leaving everyone else behind and put them in unnecessary danger you will be doing double that.¡± My jaw dropped open in shock and protest but I could hold my tongue better when it came to Mishtaw. ¡°And you will apologize to your cohort and Tufani. Further, since it seems like you need constant supervision to be somewhat behaved, once you finish your training here you will be coming with me.¡±

    Twenty laps? Apologize? I wasn¡¯t sure I could make myself do either of those. On one hand it almost seemed like a light punishment for dragging everyone off into the woodland after a very dangerous person while on the other I wasn¡¯t sure I could manage either. The others had followed me on their own and it wasn¡¯t my fault that they couldn¡¯t travel as well through the shadows yet.

    As for going with Mishtaw after we finished training at the Rookery¡­that was more of a relief than anything else. I¡¯d actually have the one whisper woman allowed to mentor me nearby and I wouldn¡¯t have to bother dealing with the grudges the rest of the cohort had formed against me now for much longer. The only thing was the idea of leaving Prevna behind. Again. She wouldn¡¯t like that and it could shatter the bit of understanding we built back up the day before.

    Taking in Mishtaw¡¯s no nonsense look though, I could tell I didn¡¯t have much of a say in any of it. She might listen to my reasoning for doing what I did, but she also had clear cut expectations about roles and responsibilities, and now she expected me to fulfill mine.

    Mishtaw pointed to the ground in front of her and Tufani. ¡°Now.¡±

    I swallowed and slowly made my way to where she indicated. Then it felt like everyone was holding their breath as they waited. I focused on Tufani. The Tamer looked down at me with her lips pressed together, eyes hard, none of the openness she had showed when she took me to the Carver¡¯s Enclave.

    I knew that simply saying the words wasn¡¯t what Mishtaw or Tufani wanted. They expected a full, formal, subservient apology. I could feel my pride filling up the back of my throat and pressing against my chest as I carefully lowered my bruised body onto my knees. It hurt, but not as much as the shame and embarrassment of what I had to do next. I pressed my palms into the snow and bowed my head to Tufani.

    Then it took several tries before I could force the two simple words out past the pressure in my neck and throat. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    Tufani inclined her head when I looked up and Mishtaw gestured to the group behind me, giving no reprieve. ¡°To them now.¡±

    I closed my eyes and shifted until I was on my knees facing the cohort. Ulo was gloating even harder now while Dera and Juniper looked even more uncomfortable. Wren seemed surprised and Prevna¡­was angry?

    I blinked and that feeling of shock allowed me to dip my head again and say, ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± one last time.

    From what I could tell reactions ranged from acceptance to clearly not believing a word that came out of my mouth. I focused on getting back to my feet without pressing on the bruises lining my body as much as possible.

    ¡°Now you¡¯ll run until you complete the laps,¡± Mishtaw declared.

    Prevna took a defiant step forward. ¡°She¡¯s still injured.¡±

    My leg could take my weight now but I doubted it hold out for twenty laps¡­or perhaps even two. The incline on the switchbacks wouldn¡¯t be kind to my ability to compensate for the weakness that was still healing in my ankle.

    Mishtaw¡¯s stern expression didn¡¯t change. ¡°She¡¯s not the only one. You can¡¯t always be punished under ideal conditions. If she can¡¯t run, then she can walk, but she will be expected to finish all of her laps.¡± She pointed into the distance. ¡°Now go. All of you.¡±

    I gave Prevna a grateful look but started to jog so I wouldn¡¯t look weak. Then we ran. Breck quickly took her place at the front of the pack but it wasn¡¯t long before I couldn¡¯t pay attention to everyone around me and instead focused on putting one foot in front of the other. We ran and ran and ran.

    A little over halfway through the second lap I had to slow down to a walk or risk my leg giving out again. I made it through another two excruciatingly slow laps like that. Breck and Ento lapped me so they finished their fifth lap before I had even started it. Which was frustrating.

    By the time I made it up to the feathered tree to start that lap Ressia was there and nearly taking Mishtaw¡¯s head off despite the smile on the Black Handed Healer¡¯s face. ¡°No. She will rest and the others will rest or the next time you come to me with an injury I will put some bandages on it and move on. When it doesn¡¯t heal correctly I will remind you of the seedling who can¡¯t walk properly because you got frustrated and decided punishment was more important than properly taking care of yourself and others.¡± She caught my shoulder as I tried to keep going past and then she peered up at Mishtaw. ¡°Perhaps you should be running laps too?¡±

    Mishtaw frowned at her. ¡°She needs to learn lesson and the others need to see that she isn¡¯t getting special treatment.¡±

    ¡°Which is why they will all rest. I¡¯m sure your lesson will still be taken to heart.¡±

    Ressia got her way and we all got to rest. Snacks were passed around and we refilled our water skins. She also checked over everyone again to make sure no had injured themselves or ruined their healing by running the laps. She put more salve on my bruises, re-bandaged my leg and ankle to give it more support, and then told warned that if I did more than walk the rest of my laps she¡¯d have her own punishment waiting for me. I didn¡¯t want to listen to her but I knew why she was warning me. I¡¯d worsen my injuries if I kept trying to run and even if they couldn¡¯t kill me, I¡¯d have to live with the results for the rest of my life. No one else was in danger nor was there anything else to distract me from the consequences of pushing myself further than I should, so it was more difficult to ignore the logic in her words.

    I felt like an idiot when we got up to continue our laps but I did walk. Better that not be able to run the future when I really needed to. So I walked and walked and walked, and had to ignore the fact that everyone else finished their ten laps significantly earlier than before I even got started on mine.

 Book 3 - Ch. 60: Misunderstood Intentions

    Mishtaw relented even more after I finished my tenth lap around the Rookery. I wasn¡¯t sure if Ressia put her foot down again or if she changed her mind on her own. All I could focus on at that point was putting one foot in front of the other because if I stopped I¡¯d collapse and I refused to do that in front of anyone.

    Mishtaw took me by the shoulders and subtly held me up while I tried to process why I wasn¡¯t moving forward anymore. ¡°You¡¯re determination and lack of complaint have been noted. Go rest and you¡¯ll complete your punishment later.¡±

    Which somehow turned into her taking me to my bedroll despite my protests and nearly a week of rest as my bruises slowly faded. Mishtaw didn¡¯t stay at the Rookery. After my first day of punishment she reminded me that she¡¯d be returning to collect me during the Dark Night celebrations before she disappeared back into the shadows to either go after the kidnapper again or return to whatever she¡¯d been doing before she got summoned to the Rookery. It would have been nice to know for sure what kept her so busy but that wasn¡¯t something she ever seemed to remember to share.

    Training slowly resumed even as I recovered. Tufani had us focus on our less physical lessons at first before gradually reintroducing flying lessons. From what I could tell she used the extra time trying to convince Juniper that going up in the air wasn¡¯t the worst thing ever. She also seemed to keep an extra close eye on Barra.

    The whisper woman was still infuriatingly difficult to read, but it didn¡¯t take a genius to see the way the rest of the Rookery watched her now. She kept a gentle smile on her lips like she didn¡¯t feel the slightest bit of guilt for the initial burst of music, but then she would bring food to those who were recovering or use her blessing for anyone who asked without complaint. Small tasks, small favors. Just enough to make you wonder if Barra was hiding stronger emotions behind her smile.

    I overheard others make the argument that we wouldn¡¯t have even known the harp was gone if she hadn¡¯t went to the statue, but since the kidnapper had taken Juniper too I thought that was a moot point. I probably wouldn¡¯t have even had the chance to take the search for Juniper into my own hands if the kidnapper hadn¡¯t felt the need to use the harp to put her to sleep and caused secondhand chaos throughout the Rookery. Tufani would have been to on top of everything.

    I did know that we were lucky that the kidnapper didn¡¯t seem to have full control over the harp or Juniper would likely still be kidnapped and Mishtaw might be dead, depending on how thorough the kidnapper decided to be if he had been able to put us asleep without putting himself under at the same time. I doubted he meant to signal his presence by making the harp cover a large section of the woodland the first time. If he had been able to just put Barra to sleep, there might have been less urgency and more mystery while he got further and further away with the harp and Juniper.

    Ressia stayed at the Rookery with the other black handed healers the Seedling Palace had sent for two whole weeks. They helped to keep the care level manageable for the Rookery¡¯s resident healer until those with more minor injuries healed up enough to manage on their own. Really, they probably didn¡¯t need to be around for two whole weeks when it came to human injuries, but they also did what they could for the storm birds who had been hurt and each bird took multiple people to set wings or treat other injuries. The Rookery had their own code for what counted as first aid or not when it came to bird care, so the caretakers helped their birds too, but everyone preferred the healers doing the healing adjacent things while they were there, just in case.

    All of which meant that Ressia was there to bother me as much as she liked. Suspiciously, she and Prevna arrived together when they came to check on me sometimes. I wanted to press Prevna about what they could possibly be talking about, but I wasn¡¯t willing to press her on much of anything since I left her in the woods. And I couldn¡¯t ask Ressia in case she decided to gossip about it later.

    So, instead I¡¯d glare a bit and grumble, and they¡¯d tease me about that instead. It wasn¡¯t really better, but it didn¡¯t feel like I¡¯d ruin things completely as long as they continued like that. As long Prevna kept up some her old habits even if she didn¡¯t bump shoulders with me or lean against me for comfort anymore. Even if I knew that meant she hadn¡¯t completely forgiven me yet.

    Prevna found me resting against the back of the hut one night while I watched the stars. She leaned back against the hut as well but stayed on her feet. A silence settled over us, not wholly comfortable or tense, but some unsettling mix of the two that seemed to have characterized our interactions lately.

    After it became clear that she wasn¡¯t going to start whatever conversation she wanted to have I searched for something to say. Something that would make her go back to being exasperated and amused by me, full of good humor. Something to make her understand.

    ¡°If¡­if I could have taken you through the shadow paths with me I would have.¡±

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    She tilted her head to the side so she could look down at me. ¡°But you would leave on your own again if you had to.¡±

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t leave it unfinished.¡± My teeth ground together. This was already going wrong. ¡°I can¡¯t die.¡±

    She pretended to be shocked. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s better for me to go if I can.¡±

    ¡°But you can still be hurt,¡± Prevna said. I stiffened at the frustrated conviction coating her voice. ¡°So hurt that you can barely move without flinching for days. Hurt enough that you can¡¯t walk and you do it over and over again.¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡± I tried to defend myself but Prevna had decided on what she wanted to say and she wasn¡¯t stopping now.

    ¡°You throw yourself into danger like you aren¡¯t going to come back bruised and bloody, and you don¡¯t even have the decency to wonder what that might be like to see over and over when you don¡¯t even let me help.¡± Prevna paced back and forth in the snow. ¡°You disappear all the time¡ªwhich, fine, you need time alone¡ªbut ever since I found you in the tree I can¡¯t help but wonder if I¡¯ll find you frozen again. If you¡¯ll be caught in a memory. If this time I won¡¯t be able to help with whatever mess you got yourself into.¡±

    I stared at her, not sure what to do. Part of me wanted to run away from the things she was saying while another part wanted to poke holes in what she was saying to test how much she actually cared.

    ¡°If it¡¯s so difficult for you why don¡¯t you just leave?¡± The question sounded so much more like a challenge than I wanted it to.

    ¡°No.¡±

    I blinked. ¡°No?¡±

    She rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and glared down at me. ¡°I told you: I¡¯ll be your friend even if you won¡¯t be mine.¡±

    ¡°But you are.¡±

    I should have kept my mouth shut and just endured the awkward silence. At least then my tongue wouldn¡¯t be saying all sorts of things I didn¡¯t want it to. Dangerous things that would either push Prevna further away or bring her closer than I wanted or was comfortable with.

    Still, my comment pulled Prevna up short as something like relief loosened her limbs. I frowned. ¡°You had to know that already.¡±

    Prevna dropped into a crouch, arms covering her face, and laughed in the kind of way that typically meant that if you didn¡¯t laugh you¡¯d be crying. ¡°Storms.¡±

    ¡°But I let you lean on me. And you know everything.¡± My tongue had gone rogue and I found I wasn¡¯t as upset as I should have been about admitting to it all.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me everything. I found out on my own.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the only way that works.¡± As if I¡¯d ever tell anyone about the memories. If someone found out it was probably because they suffered through enough time with me to notice when things went wrong.

    ¡°Gimley.¡± There it was. The exasperated amusement. The knowing smile. ¡°Your default is pushing people away and glaring. You can¡¯t blame me for not being sure.¡±

    I glared at her for that assessment and she chuckled again, more genuine than before. Then she moved and collapsed next to me so that she could lean into my side. When I didn¡¯t shift away or tell her to move, she rested her head against mine.

    ¡°Are you going to run off on your own again?¡±

    ¡°Probably,¡± I grumbled.

    I felt her hold back a sigh. ¡°Fine, but try to remember that just because you can¡¯t die doesn¡¯t mean you are invincible.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡±

    And that was that. It finally didn¡¯t feel like I was one word away from pushing Prevna away forever.

    - -

    I finished my laps around the Rookery at the end of the week even though Mishtaw wasn¡¯t there to watch me do it. Barra and Ressia took up the difficult role of counting how many times I passed the feathered tree instead while Tufani kept the rest of the cohort¡¯s training going. I couldn¡¯t decide if the pair got along well from the snatches of conversation I heard when I passed the tree or if they were enjoying a silent contest to see if they could get the other to bow out of the polite, boring conversation first. It covered everything from the weather to what accessories were the best to wear. Unsurprisingly, Barra was in favor of jewelry and Ressia supported functional pieces. I always went a bit faster as I crossed by where they were resting.

    I didn¡¯t have the stamina to run the full ten remaining laps, but I did complete them and didn¡¯t need to be carried to my bedroll after. Instead I rested with Anore in her nest for a bit and then had the misfortune of running into Juniper and her two guards on my way to the evening meal.

    Idra looked like she wanted to punch me and Ento just raised her eyebrows. Juniper¡­tried to look anywhere but me. She had thanked me for rescuing her while I was still recovering from my first round of laps around the Rookery, but we hadn¡¯t interacted much since we returned to the Rookery other than that.

    From what I could tell she was blaming me for being faced with our flying lessons again. She hadn¡¯t wanted to be kidnapped but she also hadn¡¯t really wanted to be forced back into practicing flying and shadow walking. All the things she wasn¡¯t good at. She didn¡¯t want to be a seedling anymore. And now she was right back where she started thanks to being rescued.

    Honestly, I was a little surprised she hadn¡¯t run away to try to rejoin her tribe yet, but being kidnapped twice in the woods might have put her off from trying to escape through them.

    I debated my options and decided simple was best. They obviously didn¡¯t want to interact with me, I didn¡¯t want to interact with them¡­so after a brief stutter step, I continued walking and did my best to ignore them.

    Idra had other ideas. Before I could disappear around another nest she yelled after me, ¡°You should run away!¡±

    I stopped to look over my shoulder at her. ¡°I¡¯m not the one running away.¡±

    She crossed her arms and lifted her big nose into the air. ¡°Sure looks like it to me.¡±

    ¡°Guess you can¡¯t see past your own nose then.¡±

    I left them with Idra gaping like a fish, Ento faintly scowling, and Juniper still doing her best not to make eye contact. Far from the confident impressions they had first left when I met them in the Seedling Palace.

    All in all, not bad work for a basic insult.

    Even if I knew it¡¯d be better if Juniper was still full of determination and the others weren¡¯t feeling like failures. All I could offer was spite.

 Book 3 - Ch. 61: Practice Makes Perfect

    Training continued and Tufani had us up in the air for more and more hours throughout the day practicing our flying skills from navigation to how to stay in the saddle during a steep dive or a barrel roll. None of the cohort could stay on consistently during the latter yet.

    We technically didn¡¯t need to learn how to do a barrel roll but it looked cool when the more experienced fliers did it and we wanted to prove we could be as good as them.

    Dera and Juniper got¡­easier lessons. They went on lower, shorter flights and had yet to try anything more tricky than a basic dive. Juniper hadn¡¯t even gone up in the sky on her own for most of her flights. Tufani had to go with her because otherwise she¡¯d lay stiff as a branch in the saddle and not give her bird a single instruction. She was starting to become a bit more brave under Tufani¡¯s direct instruction but I doubted she¡¯d be ready in time for our final test flight.

    True to her word, Tufani had a couple of the shorter fliers give me, and the rest of the cohort, lessons in how to fly when you had to choose between seeing over the bird¡¯s shoulder and reaching their back with your foot. Which, honestly, meant that they would sit up like I had but they did it with better positioning so they wouldn¡¯t have to shuffle around so much and they didn¡¯t do it for the whole flight. As long as they could see out in front of their bird they were good until it was time to check for a place to land. They also gave tips about how they could check the surrounding landscape when the bird lowered their wings to flap. One of the shorter fliers sometimes used sticks tied to her saddle or feet to give the bird directions when she was lying down in the saddle so she could lay farther forward and still reach the bird¡¯s back, but that sounded like it looked stupid and she mentioned that they weren¡¯t ideal for a quick dismount since she wouldn¡¯t be able to walk with the sticks tied to her feet. No one was thrilled to try that option.

    I loved every minute that we got to spend up in the air. Now that the birds weren¡¯t actively trying to throw us off like they had during the Heartsong Festival, I could feel the difference in how they flew. The strength and control. How smooth their movements were so they wouldn¡¯t accidentally jolt us off their back, especially compared to the birds that were flying free without a rider. I could adjust my movements to theirs, direct what we would do next and where we would go.

    When flying lessons were finished for the day I would spend most of my time practicing shadow walking. It still took me forever to form a path to a place I couldn¡¯t see or didn¡¯t know well, but I quickly realized that was easier than trying to travel to a person. With a person it worked best if they weren¡¯t moving and I knew them. Sort of like the change in difficulty between dark and light shadows. I couldn¡¯t travel to a random Rookery tribe member but out of everyone I could travel to Prevna the easiest.

    She didn¡¯t appreciate being startled the first couple of times I did it. But then she made a game out of trying to startle me in return and that amused her enough that she seemed to look forward to my next attempt just so she try out her next prank. During the couple of moments it took me to focus she¡¯d strike a weird pose or say something to catch me off guard. And she was good at it. I did my best to make my shadow walking as stealthy as possible so I could shock her before she could get me.

    That game became a favorite between us though it only escalated once Prevna decided to retaliate with her own shadow walking. She couldn¡¯t travel to people or trees she couldn¡¯t see yet but if she spied me walking somewhere she¡¯d pick a nearby shadow and surprise me easily enough. Sometimes I think she just used her regular skill at sneaking since there weren¡¯t any good shadows nearby when she¡¯d appear but the result ended up the same. Rather than regret saying something I shouldn¡¯t I¡¯d do my best to maintain a blank face so she wouldn¡¯t be able to tell if she startled me or not. I don¡¯t think I gave myself away most of the time.

    The group dynamics shifted slightly again during meal time. For some reason, Wren and Dera began to consistently sit near Prevna and me while we sat around the cook fire. I didn¡¯t add much to the conversation but Prevna seemed to enjoy the extra company so I did my best to be civil and not think about the fact that Wren¡¯s presence didn¡¯t make my stomach flutter as much as it used to. I blamed it on the fact that she had seen me in too many embarrassing circumstances. And that I was getting used to her being around.

    Chirp still tried to boss me into giving him every single treat within reach but after several days in a row of me not giving him a single sleet beetle and Wren telling him not to be rude, he begrudging settled for a beetle a meal and the right to perch on my head while he ate it.

    The others held their grudges and kept their distance for the most part. Breck would occasionally join us when we practiced our combat skills and I would catch Nii watching me sometimes like she had during the journey to the Rookery. Like she was trying to decide what to think. Juniper seemed to regain some of her confidence as she spent more time with Tufani as training wore on, but she still wasn¡¯t anywhere near what she had been like when I first met her. Nor did it seem like she had seen sense and realized that she couldn¡¯t go back to her tribe like nothing had changed yet.

    Peace was held between Ulo and me mostly because Ulo still seemed to be gloating about my increased punishment and that some of the others weren¡¯t acting as friendly as they used to. She seemed to think she had convinced them of my wickedness. It pricked at my pride but I let her carry on because I didn¡¯t feel like getting bruised all over again and I figured I wouldn¡¯t have to deal with her anymore once I left with Mishtaw.

    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    Weeks passed until the Dark Night celebrations were only a day away. Tufani gathered the entire cohort in front of her hut while Barra stood off to the side. This time we would have some warning about our test instead of just being pushed off the ribs, apparently.

    Tufani thumped her cane against the ground as we all watched her expectantly. ¡°Your final trial is simple.¡± She pointed towards the lake before lifting her arm to point upwards. ¡°You will start on the ribs, gain control of your bird in the air, and then fly up into the dark to gain your second boon before returning to land safely in the Rookery. Questions?¡±

    Wren asked what we were all thinking, ¡°How do we get the second boon?¡±

    Tufani directed our attention to Barra, though it was clear she didn¡¯t want to give Barra the authority. For her part, Barra didn¡¯t change her mild expression. ¡°We can only get the second boon during the Dark Night because you have to fly up to veil She grows over the sky. Then you offer blood and the dark will cling to it so that you can wipe it over your eyes. After that you¡¯ll gain dark sight.¡±

    I recalled the icy pain that had come with drinking shadow. Apparently, I wasn¡¯t the only one since I saw some of the others pale. Flying one handed while we reached up into the¡­veil would be difficult enough for some and if we had to add that pain into the mix as well, no one would be aware for awhile while we were up in the air.

    ¡°And we have to jump off the ribs again?¡± Dera was more than a little wide eyed. Her easier lessons might not have prepared as well they could have. A handful of us had practiced jumping of the ribs and quickly getting situated in the saddle earlier in the week after we brought the idea up to Tufani. Given how our first flying test had went it made sense that we would be made to do that again.

    Tufani nodded. ¡°You do.¡± There was a pause and then she added, ¡°The birds have practice with this. They will stay as steady as they can when you are gaining the boon.¡±

    But possibly not when we first leapt on their back. They might not want the test to be impossible but they did want it to be difficult. Needed it to be if we were going to show that we had gain anything from our training.

    My gaze cut to Juniper and Dera. The question was with all their difficulty with flying if they¡¯d even stay on long enough to reach the veil or, if they did reach it, if they be able to get themselves to let go to offer blood and gain the boon.

    Not that I could waste time worrying about their chances. I needed to focus on my own trial.

    Breck asked, ¡°When is the trial?¡±

    ¡°On the third day,¡± Tufani said. ¡°You¡¯ll have two days for contemplation and to mentally prepare yourself. Then you¡¯ll have a day after to reflect.¡±

    There were a few other minor questions about how the Dark Night celebrations worked in the Rookery but I only listened with one ear to those. Two days to prepare¡ªor overwhelm ourselves with what we needed to do while the whole tribe watched us. This was part of the trial then.

    I glowered at Tufani. I wouldn¡¯t break because of such an obvious tactic. Prevna wouldn¡¯t either.

    - -

    The dark dawn stole across the sky the following morning before a trace of sunlight even had a chance to break over the horizon. In the Rookery everyone gathered around the feathered tree, bundled for warmth and spread out just enough that conversation couldn¡¯t be whispered back and forth in the dark. Everything was quiet and still except for the rustle of feathers and pine needles. Even the birds seemed to know the importance of not disturbing the hours of contemplation as they all nestled into their nests.

    I would have preferred the trees surrounding Grislander¡¯s Maw as they helped to further the feeling of solitude, but in the Rookery no one was expected to be on the fringes despite the fact that they were surrounded by a woodland. Contemplate the goddess grown tree and Her power and the gift of flight. That was the morning¡¯s focus and I did my best to honor it. There wasn¡¯t much I could do otherwise to prepare for the upcoming flight since we weren¡¯t allowed to practice our flying lessons during the Dark Night celebrations.

    Once the morning¡¯s contemplation was over the tribe split up to spend the rest of the day until the evening meal with their families. Passing the time with stories or activities thought to increase one¡¯s connection to death. Those considered feather hearts and some of the other experienced fliers took to the air with their birds though they kept their flights trick free and kept from going too close to the darkness covering the sky.

    The cohort was left to our own devices after Tufani gave us an admonishment to ¡°make smart choices¡±. Breck immediately went off to perch on one of the ribs while Ulo and Ento settled for taking care of their weapons and other equipment since weapons practice was frowned up as well. This was a time for reflecting on what we had and not distracting from the goddess¡¯s power, rather than trying to improve our own. Everyone else decided that swapping stories in the hut would be the best for now even though it¡¯d be nearly pitch black in there without a fire. Between the door flap getting tied closed and blankets it¡¯d be warmer than hanging out in the snow.

    We couldn¡¯t take the shadow paths down to the lower level since there weren¡¯t any shadows strong enough to travel through, except for the feathered tree¡¯s shadow, with the darkness overhead so we all trekked down the switchback. Oddly, about a third of the way down I found Juniper  as far from the edge of the pathway as possible and staring out at the little village of huts near the lower lake without Ento or Idra anywhere nearby.

    ¡°What do you think I¡¯m good at?¡±

    I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and snap out that asking everyone else for the answers was exactly what her problem was. She might have been getting braver under Tufani¡¯s teaching but right then Juniper still looked like she might be one wrong word away from giving up entirely.

    So I dredged through my memory and tried to give her an honest answer. Something to cling to. ¡°Leading others, making them want to follow you. Strategy when you put your mind to it. Killing fish.¡±

    A smile flickered onto her face at the last one. ¡°What do you when you get scared?¡±

    I huffed out a breath and walked past her. ¡°Get angry.¡±

 Notice about Book 3 - Ch. 62

    So I wasn''t able to get the chapter to where it needs to be before I had to leave for work today, so this week''s chapter will be out tomorrow or Friday at the latest. Thank you for your patience and understanding! Currently, I''m thinking this will be the second to last chapter for Book 3 and then after I finish Book 3, instead of jumping right into Book 4 I''m going to take a week to update the glossary as a semi-break and remind myself of all the stuff I''ve already put in the books.

    If you have characters, settings, or plot threads that you would like to see further explored, please let me know! It''s always interesting to see what you all focus on and enjoy the most throughout the story! There might also be a larger time skip in book 4 (around 2 years) but I wasn''t sure if I should do that or not given that''d be pretty different from how most of the story has been written so far. So if you have any thoughts about that please let me know that as well!

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    I do want to apologize again about the delayed chapter this week and thank you all for sticking with the story and continuing to read every week! Thank you!

 Book 3 - Ch. 62: Paired in Deed

    The Rookery tribe gathered fallen wood and branches during the evening of the second day of the Dark Night celebrations just like we always had in Grislander¡¯s Maw. My hand kept wanting to slip to the felt leaf in my poisoner¡¯s pouch, but I¡¯d grab a rough bit of new wood instead and kept my lips pressed shut. Some of the others in the cohort seemed put off by my intense gathering but Prevna kept eying me with concern. I wasn¡¯t sure how much Fellen had told her about what had happened a year ago but she seemed to know enough to let me have my space and quiet.

    Ulo wasn¡¯t quite as clued in. She kept trying to wander close to gloat or antagonize me while Prevna ran interference. I don¡¯t think Ulo liked that I was outperforming everyone when it came to stick gathering. If I thought I could have gotten through the night without keeping my hands busy and giving into weakness and ruining everything, I would have slowed down. But as it was it felt like if I stopped, or if I took too long to find the next twig, I¡¯d find myself back in the Root Mountains with Fellen crying and her gift shredded between us.

    And it was getting harder and harder to ignore the perfect target that kept appearing on my periphery. It¡¯d be so easy to bait her. So easy to shatter her smug expression.

    Someone stepped around the tree to my left and I looked up from the stick I was crouched over to see Ulo practically begging for trouble. I wasn¡¯t in the mood for a fight, but she also clearly wasn¡¯t getting the message to leave me alone. I knew I should pick up my stick and keep going. That would be its own kind of cut to completely ignore her, but she was right there.

    I didn¡¯t want to repeat what happened a year ago. I didn¡¯t. But she wasn¡¯t a friend and she had been gloating for weeks about my ¡°terrible plan¡± and that everyone had gotten what they deserved for following me into the woods, never mind that she had to run the laps too.

    ¡°Someday, Ulo, you¡¯re going to be left alone in the dark and you¡¯re not going to know why. No friends, no recognition, no skill that isn¡¯t second best to someone else.¡± I had never been good at keeping my tongue in check for long.

    She flinched at the last two declarations the most even as her face flushed with anger. ¡°No, that¡¯ll be you.¡±

    I shook my head and picked up my new stick. ¡°No. I¡¯ll know why.¡±

    Then I did stride away further into the woodland, just to make my words cut deeper¡ªand to keep the situation from completely devolving. I didn¡¯t want to feel sympathy for Ulo but if I reduced her to tears then she¡¯d remind me of Fellen and I didn¡¯t want any connection between the two of them in my mind. It¡¯d be untenable.

    Ulo fumed but she didn¡¯t try to approach me again. No doubt because she lost an argument she barely got to participate in. Instead she was probably rambling about beating me during the final flight test in her head. Something she¡¯d have more an edge in than a battle of words. Not that she¡¯d win that either.

    - -

    Rather than random whisper women stepping out of the shadow paths to add their own wood to the large pile the tribe gathered, Barra was given the honor of the symbolic gesture. There apparently had been some discontent about that decision that I hadn¡¯t paid attention to, but she got her normal role in the end.

    Then it was finally time for our flight test. One unspoken challenge was that we had to approach the bird we wanted to fly with and get them to follow us back to the runway to get saddled. I didn¡¯t get to do anything so dignified unfortunately. As soon as Anore realized what was happening, I was snatched up in her beak and she carried me over to where we were supposed to get ready. Apparently none of the other birds were allowed to stake a claim on me.

    Most of the others also had birds they had gotten closer to through the weeks and weeks of training. Those birds followed properly behind their fliers, though Wren was nearly swapped by the number of storm birds trying to catch her attention. She was the clear winner of our group in the birds¡¯ eyes. I smirked openly at Ulo when she was one of the last to find a bird to partner with. Juniper was the last to join everyone else and she didn¡¯t look particularly enthused by the bird she partnered with or what we were about to do.

    I got Anore saddled, though the sheer difference between our sizes always made it annoyingly difficult. I could understand everything perfectly in my mind and knew where all ties were supposed to go but doing it as smoothly as the expert, tall fliers was another matter. Luckily, the shorter fliers had given us some tips when it came to saddling the birds during their lessons as well.

    After I climbed up into the saddle and made sure everything was secure there as well, I took a moment to look up at the thick haze of darkness covering the sky. Part of me wondered if we could fly through it to see daylight on the other side while the rest of me knew that sort of challenge against the goddess would be suicide to try. Even for me.

    It would be interesting to see what it felt like though. Would it be like the liquid shadow we drank or something entirely different? Would I still be able to fly properly while I was gaining the boon?

    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

    Only time would tell. I got the ladder rolled up and tied securely in place since there wouldn¡¯t be time to stop it from swinging around once we were in the air. Then Anore lowered herself to the ground as much as she could and I slipped over her side. Now that the birds were ready for the flight it was time to go climb the ribs.

    Dera and Juniper, for all of their practice, looked like we were on a funeral march as we crossed back through the nesting ground to the lake¡¯s edge. Those of us who had been practicing the jumps were more confident: Prevna, me, Breck, and Wren. Surprisingly, Loclen and Nii had joined us after the first couple of days of practice as well. Andhi and and Ulo obviously didn¡¯t join any activity that had to do with me, but Ento and Idra might have joined the practice if Idra wasn¡¯t determined to stick her nose in the air and be difficult.

    We climbed the ribs with the same groups we had during the first test. Prevna and I led the way while Wren encouraged Dera behind us. No tribe members accompanied us this time. We had to whistle for our birds and step off the ribs into open air on our own. Prove that we had gained the skill and confidence to fly the birds throughout the goddess¡¯s territory if the situation demanded it.

    Prevna went first, just like before. She leaned close while Wren and Dera were finishing climbing up and said, ¡°We got this. From one horror to another.¡±

    I nodded back. ¡°From one horror to another.¡±

    She smiled as I repeated the phrase and then she let out a loud whistle for her bird and was running for the rib¡¯s tip. Prevna leapt out into open air and plummeted down only for her bird to sweep under her and carry her away. I breathed easier once I saw her smoothly get herself tied in place and settled into the saddle.

    Wren gave Dera a comforting hug and went next. I ignored the small twinge in my belly at seeing that, not willing to dwell if I was still jealous or if it was something else. Wren gave me an encouraging smile too before she focused on her task. Another whistle, another girl leaping off the rib¡¯s tip and just like that it was just me and Dera.

    She looked at me with wide eyes.

    I rolled my eyes back at her. ¡°Just because it went bad when you weren¡¯t prepared before, doesn¡¯t mean it will now. You¡¯ve practiced. Trust in that.¡±

    Dera¡¯s eyes got a little bit wider at my advice before she looked¡­somewhat embarrassed and then determined. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    She said it easily like gratitude was normally given so easily. I wasn¡¯t sure how to respond so I just watched as she edged past me to step up near the rib¡¯s tip. One big breath, two, and then she let out a piercing whistle. She didn¡¯t leap off the rib like Prevna and Wren, but there only another moment of hesitation before she steeled herself and stepped off the edge. Unlike her long scream during the first test there was only a quick yelp as she fell before her bird swept her up. I hoped she¡¯d be able to stay on this time.

    I took in the scene around me before I called Anore. Most of the cohort were on their birds and winging their way up towards the dark veil. Only me and two others were still on the ribs. It was difficult to see through the darkness but I thought the far one who looked like they were about to jump was Andhi and the one on the rib closest to me was¡­Juniper. Huddled up and doing her very best not to look at all the empty air around her or the distance to the ground.

    Storms. If she refused to get the second boon after all I went through to rescue her¡­if she thought that for some inconceivable reason that if she just didn¡¯t the next boon she could quit and go back to her tribe¡­then it was more than time to snap her out of her bullshit. If she was just scared, then it was time to snap her out of that too.

    I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted, ¡°If you want to prove you¡¯re not weak now would be the time to do it!¡±

    Her head jerked up and she glared back at me.

    ¡°That¡¯s right! Get angry!¡± I continued, ¡°Prove you can be more than the girl just needs rescued over and over again!¡±

    She jerked and moved to stand like she was going to yell back at me or actually jump over the rib¡¯s tip. But something must have went wrong because suddenly she was slipping, scrambling at the rib¡¯s rounded side. Falling.

    Juniper hadn¡¯t whistled, still wasn¡¯t whistling, though she was screaming. There¡¯d be no bird flying for her. Nothing to catch her but the thick ice covering the lake.

    Why did she have to be so good at making the worst situation possible? No wonder she wasn¡¯t supposed to go anywhere on her own.

    I let out the loudest whistle I could for Anore and prayed that she was observant as she had been in the snow storm. The birds were trained to catch people jumping off the ribs¡¯ tips, not off their sides.

    I leapt towards to Juniper.

    If Anore didn¡¯t see us and correct her course right away there wouldn¡¯t any time to rescue Juniper before she hit the ground. I whistled again. I couldn¡¯t reach Juniper from my jump alone, the gap between ribs was too wide, but this way Anore would be at least facing the correct direction.

    Feathers rose up beneath me and Anore screeched triumphantly. I had landed too high up, nearly on her neck. I let myself half-tumble, half-slide backwards through the saddle aiming to reach her back with my feet. I felt her dropping away from me before I got there. I latched onto the handles and knew in my gut she had to be diving for Juniper though all I could see was feathers and leather. No time to tie the safety ties in place, but I could shift, try to get in place to give Anore better directions.

    I inched backwards on the saddle until my feet finally touched Anore¡¯s feathered back. I didn¡¯t fight the downward pull of her dive to try to sit up, so I still couldn¡¯t spot Juniper past Anore, but at least I could give directions now.

    A sudden impact and a scream that was much closer than it had been before. Juniper dangled out of Anore¡¯s beak and I grinned.

    And then Anore was doing a barrel roll to twist out of her collision course with the ground. I gritted my teeth and managed to hook one foot back under the left handle to help lock myself in place while she turned. The force of the turn did pry one hand free but I did everything I could to hang on. This thing whole thing would be pointless if I got pulled free and Anore couldn¡¯t rescue me again. Neither Juniper nor me would be likely to get our second boon then.

    Anore pulled out of her roll and swept up past the ribs. I took advantage of the smoother flight to get my safety ties secured, and glanced at Juniper again to see that she was awake. Then I set my sights on the dark veil overhead. It was time for us to earn the right to look into the darkness and see what lay hidden in its depths.

 Book 3 - Ch. 63: Dark Sight

    We flew higher and higher towards the veil. Higher than we ever had reason to go before. Juniper had her eyes squeezed shut and looked like she was trying not to pass out or throw up. I focused on keeping my grip and guiding Anore, though she hardly needed help aiming for something that covered the entire sky. Part of me was tempted to try a few flying tricks with her, but I didn¡¯t want puke blowing back in my face and it seemed idiotic to show off only to delay or hinder my chances of earning the second boon.

    So we flew up as straight as possible without being completely vertical. Some of the cohort had already reached the veil and the rest weren¡¯t far behind. Irritatingly, I couldn¡¯t see the others¡¯ reactions to taking the boon to better know what to expect as their birds blocked my view. Though it was interesting to see the birds circling overhead instead of immediately heading back down to the Rookery.

    There had to be some reaction then to the boon, like there had been when we drank the piercingly cold shadows. I doubted that it¡¯d be the same this time, but darkness and shadows were similar, so I braced myself for the idea that I might have to withstand another round of bone aching cold.

    I had Anore level off just below the dark veil. In a way it remind me of the smoky mists in the shadow paths, though it didn¡¯t move and was a hazy black rather than the silver-gray of the mists. Then I twisted onto my back and hooked one arm under a handle while I reached for my prayer needle with my other hand.

    ¡°You better take the boon!¡± I called to Juniper.

    She yelled something unkind in return but when I tilted my head to look I saw her struggling to reach her waist, where he prayer needle would be secured, but she couldn¡¯t quite get it with how she was trapped in Anore¡¯s beak. Instead, she wiped the blood from where she had nicked her arm on Anore¡¯s beak while trying to get the needle onto her other hand.

    Surely, the goddess would understand blood was blood even though she hadn¡¯t used the needle. I directed Anore to tilt to the side so that Juniper got just enough height that she could stick her bloodied hand into veil. When she pulled it free black smoke clung to her fingers, covering every spot her blood had been and nearly obscuring her hand. She stared at the darkness pensively for a long moment before she swiped it across her eyes and immediately went limp.

    I watched her a bit longer as Anore leveled back out but Juniper didn¡¯t so much as twitch. I sat up and looked beyond Anore¡¯s wings. Breck and Loclen were winging their way back down, but everyone else was still struggling with the boon from what I could tell.

    Well then. There wasn¡¯t much information to go off of, but there hadn¡¯t been with the first boon either. It was time to see what the others were having difficulty with and gain the boon for myself.

    I pricked my wrists with the prayer needle, tucked it away, and then smeared the welling blood over my palms and fingers. No prayer this time. Just an offering. I stretched up, straining to reach without losing my balance, and sank first one hand and then the other into the veil.

    It felt like nothing. Like I was only touching normal air but each time I pulled my hand free darkness clung to my skin. Very carefully, I laid back down in the saddle and hooked one arm under a handle while I wedged my feet under the other and tried not to touch the darkness to anything. Once I was as secure as I was going to get I drew in a deep breath. Then I covered both eyes with the darkness clinging to my fingertips.

    The goddess¡¯s gaze pierced through me. I froze and instinctively tried to hide myself from Her attention but it was no use. If the goddess wanted to look there was no stopping Her.

    It was both like and very different from the times I had nearly died. Those times had been more¡­impersonal. Like the gaze had been more a function of Her power pulling me closer to death even as Her blessing kept me from it.

    This was Her. Still probably an impossibly small mote of Her power and attention but I couldn¡¯t deny that it felt like Heliquat was staring directly into my soul. And there was no secrets She didn¡¯t know, no fears or desires She couldn¡¯t judge. She could rip my soul from my blood and bones and all I could do was lay there and hope I didn¡¯t offend Her gaze.

    Pressure built around my eyes. But I couldn¡¯t blink, couldn¡¯t look away from the darkness covering everything. The sheer absence of light and the phantom flashes of thinking I could see a shape in the darkness only to realize my mind was desperately trying to make something out of nothing.

    The goddess¡¯s attention increased a hair and I was a breath away from the child that couldn¡¯t stop offering blood as She walked by out of sheer awe and terror. But I was no longer that child and the goddess didn¡¯t like weakness. So I set my jaw and resolutely stared back in the darkness as if it was my idea that I couldn¡¯t stop looking rather than Her power.

    Very mild acknowledgment. The faintest bite of interest.

    Just like that I was swept up in another of the goddess¡¯s tests. She didn¡¯t speak but I felt the change and the invitation all the same.

    You wish to see? Then look for as long as you can.

    The phantom images that danced on the edge of my vision resolved themselves in bits and pieces. A cramped cell and a stick. Fish and Shore Eaters invading a forest. An old woman covered in scars and no one for company but shamble men in front of a splintered and broken Seedling Palace.

    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

    Impossible things. Terrible things.

    The Beloved smiling at a younger woman in a rounded hall that had to be in the goddess¡¯s nest. Hands held fast with no owners but a feeling of security and home. A plant full of long, thin leaves and bunches of delicate petals with unforeseen potential.

    Wonderful things.

    A pine tree holding up a wilted suncrest vine¡ª

    I blinked without willing it or wanting to.

    Things no one was supposed to see.

    I blinked again but more out of shock than any need to clear my vision. Everything was black and silver and gray, but I could see. Everything was as clear as it would be during noon on a sunny day except for the lack of color. Even the veil overhead was no longer a simple mass of hazy back. Instead it looked like a complex pattern of very slightly changing shades. It was beautiful.

    The dark no longer impeded my vision. Now we could be in the pitch black hut and see perfectly fine. Not be tied to fire except for warmth and cooked meals. I hadn¡¯t been that excited to earn dark sight compared to the other boons, but now that I had it there was no denying how useful it could be.

    ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    I twitched at Juniper¡¯s question but I did everything I could not to show she had startled me. Between the new sight and the visions I had forgotten she was there. The goddess¡¯s gaze had disappeared as soon as I blinked as well and that been distracting all on its own.

    She continued, voice somewhat strained, ¡°We should go back down if you¡¯re ready.¡±

    I glanced around and saw that we were the only ones still up in the air. Part of me wanted to ask if she had seen the visions as well but I kept my mouth shut. No one needed to know about them until I was sure they were more than a test of my resolve. I could think more about had happened once I was safely on the ground and alone.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    Juniper kept her eyes squeezed shut as we descended back down to the Rookery. Anore let me guide her to the runway even though she didn¡¯t seem to have much trouble navigating in the dark and knew her way by heart. Really, while this had been our final flight test, it seemed more about gaining our boon than the flying skills we had polished over weeks of practice. The only one who might have failed it from what I could tell was Juniper and that was more so because she never even got the chance to start.

    I had to stop myself from marveling at all the things I could see now as we got ready to land. It was so easy to see the cohort and tribe members gathered along the runway¡¯s edge, the birds, and nests and all the little details that had been obscured by the darkness. I tore my eyes away and focused on not embarrassing myself in front everyone. Dark sight might not have the same learning curve as shadow walking, but my vision was still different than I was used to and that made it more likely that something could go wrong.

    I gave Anore the signal to land and she glided gently toward the ground in the middle of the runway, nowhere close to clipping her wings on someone. I could have gone went down faster but I still didn¡¯t trust that Juniper wouldn¡¯t vomit if I did anything too fancy even if she looked like she wished the ground would hurry up and touch her feet. We landed with a bit of a jolt, but that was expected when Anore had more weight than normal with both of us weighing her down. After she ran off her momentum, she carefully placed Juniper on the ground while I got myself and the ladder untied so I could climb down.

    Juniper laid on the ground until Tufani brought over the bird she was supposed to fly with. It was still saddled and ready to go. When Juniper opened her eyes and saw Tufani standing there with the bird her expression morphed into pure horror.

    Tufani thumped her cane. ¡°Relax and tend to your bird. You¡¯ve clearly shown that it¡¯s best for everyone if you don¡¯t take the sky on your own. Should you ever need to fly again, you will be required to join one of our fliers or one of your own.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± Sullen embarrassment quickly overcame horror.

    Tufani rested a hand on her shoulder. ¡°You progressed more than most with your¡­condition. But you are not the first, nor will you be the last, who weren¡¯t made for the skies. Find another strength and cultivate it.¡±

    The Tamer had us remove the saddles from the birds and check both bird and equipment over before we could join the rest of the cohort. Wren was telling everyone about her experience and how it felt be under the goddess¡¯s gaze while Loclen stared pensively off into the distance. Prevna bumped shoulders with me while she had a smug look on her face.

    ¡°Two down, two to go.¡±

    I smiled back at her. ¡°What do you think we¡¯ll get next?¡±

    She chuckled the smug look becoming more mischievous. ¡°Adventure.¡±

    I rolled my eyes and didn¡¯t press her for a better answer as everyone settled down for a late feast as we watched the veil fade out and the night sky glimmer into existence. It made for an interesting change with my new sight. Where the cook fires spread their light I could see in color and where the stars helped chase away shadows it was closer to my old night vision, but if I looked further, into the places where the light didn¡¯t reach, that was when the dark sight slide more into focus and made everything monochrome.

    The next evening was when I truly learned what Prevna had meant when she answered my question. Mishtaw came to collect me after the Rookery tribe had their final ritual and burned the giant bonfire they had gathered together. They didn¡¯t have any girls to send off to the Seedling Palace but there was still chanting and a procession and now everyone telling stories to pass the time until dawn.

    Mishtaw hadn¡¯t come alone. Eliss stood next to her and looked entirely displeased at being confronted with my face, but I ignored her to focus on my mentor.

    ¡°Are we leaving now?¡± My things were already packed and ready to go near the feathered tree.

    ¡°We are.¡±

    The answer came from behind me. I spun to find Prevna with a pack on her back and looking very pleased with herself.

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    She cut me off. ¡°They know better than to split us up.¡±

    Mishtaw added, ¡°She can be very persuasive.¡±

    I stared. I had been trying to figure out what I was supposed to say or do when it came time to leave, to make Prevna understand that I wasn¡¯t abandoning her, and meanwhile she had a whole little plot she neglected to tell me about.

    I glared at her, just a bit, and her grin got wider. Then I looked back at everyone who came over to the feathered tree to watch leave. A handful of the more curious tribe members, Tufani and Barra, and the cohort. I think Ulo showed up because she wanted to see with her own eyes that I wouldn¡¯t around anymore. I wasn¡¯t sure what to say to the others, so I just grabbed my things, nodded to them, and held my hand out to Mishtaw. Prevna hugged nearly half the cohort and then she was ready to go too.

    Eliss took her hand in hers before Mishtaw asked, ¡°Ready?¡±

    We nodded again and the two whisper women stepped into the shadows.

    ¡ªEnd of Book 3¡ª

 Updated Glossary

    <h2>Seedlings, Sprouts, and Saplings</h2>

    Gimley¡¯s Cohort

    Andhi (Awnd-hi) ¨C Friendly to almost everyone though she is prejudiced against Gimley and has bad history with Loclen. Closest with Ulo.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can create ice talons from her finger tips.</li>

    </ul>

    Breck ¨C From the Haggler¡¯s Cliffs. Is typically bored until there something risky and exciting happening to bring out the dare devil in her. Likes difficult odds but not impossible ones. Closest with Juniper¡¯s group when she isn¡¯t being a loner.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can ¡°wrangle¡± things. Draws the attention of enemies within 30 feet so they attack her and increases her strength.</li>

    </ul>

    Dera ¨C She¡¯s quiet and sweet and has a head for numbers and calculations. She¡¯s closest to Wren but is friendly with most of the cohort.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can shape bone with her will if she maintains her concentration.</li>

    </ul>

    Ento (En-to) ¨C From the Swirling Waters tribe. Grounds Idra and Juniper and lets them do most of the talking though sometimes she does have a dry comment to make. Nearly joined at the hip with Idra, protective of Juniper, and mostly ambivalent of everyone else.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Creates three different rings around herself with daggers connected to each ring.</li>

    </ul>

    Gimley (Gim-lee)/Gimlea (Gim-lay-ah) - Main character. Stubborn and has a need for control. From the Gabbler Shore tribe and known as ¡°Little Diver¡± to some whisper women. Doesn¡¯t want to get close to anyone and somehow allowed Prevna to form a friendship with her anyway.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can¡¯t die.</li>

    </ul>

    Idra (Ee-dra) ¨C From the Swirling Waters tribe. Has more than her share of pride. Nearly joined at the hip with Ento and protective of Juniper though sometimes she wishes she didn¡¯t have to guard the younger girl.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Creates an invisible dome shield that people and things can exit from but can¡¯t enter.</li>

    </ul>

    Juniper ¨C From the Swirling Waters tribe. Melancholy air and can be a strong leader or a fearful mess depending on if fighting fish or heights are involved. Closest with Ento and Idra though she does also privately look up to Gimley and would like to be better friends with Prevna and Breck.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can summon fresh water by cupping her hands together. Also has a pearl that allows her to form a sphere of water from the water she summons.</li>

    </ul>

    Loclen (Lock-lin) ¨C From the Arches. Isn¡¯t an early riser and takes pride in her intelligence. Formed a mostly one-sided rivalry with Gimley and is closest with Nii, Wren, and Dera.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can blend in with shadows. In a darker environment this makes her effectively invisible while in a brighter environment she¡¯d just be more difficult to spot.</li>

    </ul>

    Nii/Sanii ¨C Takes pride in her strength and her blessing. Was friendly with Gimley until she learned about her blessing. Then she fell in with Ulo and Andhi until she¡¯s seemed to have another change of heart. Now she¡¯s rekindling her friendship with Loclen.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: All of her ranged attacks/throws can¡¯t miss as long as she can see her target.</li>

    </ul>

    Prevna (Prev-na) ¨C From Milwa¡¯s Picker band. Mischievous and determined and kind. At some point she saw Gimley and thought ¡°Ah, that¡¯s someone I¡¯ll be friends with¡± and she¡¯s made it her mission to make that come true ever since. It worked. She¡¯s also friendly with most of the cohort.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Poison-touched. She can absorb or expel poisons and venom from plants and animals with her fingers.</li>

    </ul>

    Ulo (Oo-low) ¨C She was ready to enter the Seedling Palace and be the best at everything. That didn¡¯t happen and she likes to blame everyone else, especially Gimley who she¡¯s prejudiced against. Closest with Andhi. She was close with Nii as well but now she¡¯s starting to question the other¡¯s loyalty.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can breathe underwater.</li>

    </ul>

    Wren ¨C From a runner tribe. Very friendly and open and charismatic. Has a bird companion named Chirp. She¡¯s closest with Dera followed by Loclen and Prevna.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can speak with birds. She bonds the easiest with wrens and other songbirds.</li>

    </ul>

    Other

    Clara ¨C Sprout that is always in the nested library with Shawsh.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: can change the color of inanimate objects.</li>

    </ul>

    Fern ¨C Sapling. Gimley¡¯s group advisor during their trip through the woodlands to the Rookery.

    Mil ¨C Sprout who ¡°makes the best nectar¡± and sells it for small favors and offerings in the arena.

    <h2>Whisper Women</h2>

    Beet ¨C Peacekeeper. Part of Hattie¡¯s squad.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Her hands and feet can stick to surfaces when she wishes it.</li>

    </ul>

    Corrin ¨C Mellow whisper woman who has a very valuable blessing. Helped Gimley recover after Jin tested Gimley¡¯s blessing during their one-on-one training.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can make someone as they were an hour before, but she can only do it once a day. She has saved many from life threatening injuries with it. ¡°Be as you were.¡±</li>

    </ul>

    Dawnli ¨C Hundred Eyes (Sect head).

    Eliss ¨C Peacekeeper. Mishtaw¡¯s life partner. She doesn¡¯t like Gimley that much and thinks she¡¯s a troublemaker.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: her skin takes on an unusual texture and it boosts her physical defense.</li>

    </ul>

    Esie - Intermediary for the Lady of Calm Waters. Gives Gimley advice on occasion and keeps tabs on her. In a relationship with Kaylan.

    Hana ¨C Very skilled at shadow walking.

    Hattie ¨C Peacekeeper. Chatty, friendly squad leader. Likes dramatics and grand gestures.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can make holes appear in the ground by twirling her finger.</li>

    </ul>

    Jin - Peacekeeper (Second in command). The cohort¡¯s assigned teacher when they arrived at the Seedling Palace. Known for efficiently punishing those who didn¡¯t adhere to the Scales¡¯ rulings and forcing compliance.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Named Blessing (Desperation¡¯s Mirage). Creates illusions with some physicality and effects.</li>

    <li>Known as the Enforcer.</li>

    </ul>

    Kaylan ¨C The lazy sentry. A bit smug, easily amused, likes to tease, and is a good storyteller. In a relationship with Esie.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can hear things miles away if she focuses.</li>

    <li>Known as Far Listener.</li>

    </ul>

    Lithunia ¨C Hundred Eyes. High Priestess and leader of the goddess¡¯s Chosen. Snow and shadow color scheme.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can freeze her surroundings.</li>

    <li>Known as the Lady of Frost.</li>

    </ul>

    Melka ¨C Peacekeeper. Hattie¡¯s second-in-command.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Aura that strikes terror in the hearts of creatures within fifty paces. She can tell if it takes hold or not, and protect a select number of people in her area from the effect.</li>

    </ul>

    Mishtaw ¨C Seeker. Leader of the squad Gimley and the rest get assigned to when they go the shore. Now Gimley¡¯s sole allowed whisper woman mentor.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can yell out a battle cry that increases her allies strength and agility for a short time.</li>

    <li>Known as the Relic Seeker.</li>

    </ul>

    Nadia (the Commander) ¨C Peacekeeper (Sect head).

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Storm Drinker.</li>

    </ul>

    Rivon ¨C Hundred Eyes (Second-in-command).

    Tasha ¨C Strikingly beautiful. Owes Gimley a debt.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can transform into a giant gray and black hawk that trails smoky shadows.</li>

    </ul>

    Yeelan ¨C Esie¡¯s sister. They look near identical though Yeelan is normally the dourer of the two. She¡¯s a happy, giggly drunk.

    Yetti (deceased) ¨C The previous seedling mentor before Jin.

    Yolanda ¨C Scales (Sect head). Doesn¡¯t take well to critique or humor. Strict.

    Yule ¨C Hundred Eyes. Sleek, no nonsense (or a prissy wretch according to some). Jin¡¯s supporter.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can spy on people from afar by viewing them through floating rectangles (screens).</li>

    </ul>

    <h2>Fire Starters</h2>

    Colm ¨C Fern¡¯s fire starter. Wiry older man with the presence of a hunter.

    Creed ¨C Mishtaw¡¯s fire starter. Very strong and Petra¡¯s husband. Loyal and good-natured.

    Petra ¨C Eliss¡¯s fire starter and Creed¡¯s wife. Has a strong sense of direction and tracking training. Clear headed and kind.

    Shawsh ¨C Caretaker of the nested library in the Seed Landing. Makes miniature sculptures and knows the library like the back of his hand. Clara¡¯s bound fire starter.

    <h2>Black Handed Healers</h2>

    Maud

    Morgan

    Ressia

    Sid ¨C In the final stages of his training when he helps Gimley¡¯s group on their trip to the Rookery. Excitable and nervous, talkative.

    Trish ¨C Petra¡¯s younger sister.

    <h2>Rookery Tribe</h2>

    Anore - Motherly storm bird in the Rookery.

    Barra - Whisper woman and Tracker of the Rookery.

    Cloud - Storm bird in the Rookery. Very gentle flying.

    Douwan - Tufani¡¯s adult son and Miyan¡¯s father.

    Miyan - Young girl living in the Rookery.

    Tufani (Two-fawn-ni) - Tamer of the Rookery.

    <h2>Gabbler Shore Tribe</h2>

    Fellen - A huntress¡¯s apprentice in the Gabbler Shore tribe.

    Rawley - Lone huntress of the Gabbler Shore tribe and Gimley¡¯s mentor.

    <h2>Carvers</h2>

    Ekail - Friendly Carver that Tufani introduces Gimley to. Gifts Gimley a wooden carving of a storm bird.

    Magda - A Carver of few words that Tufani introduces Gimley to.

    Old Ion - The oldest known Carver according to Ekail and Magda.

    <h2>Other</h2>

    Azabel (Az-AH-bell) - Sister goddess to Heliquat.

    Chirp - Wren¡¯s bird companion. He is a wren.

    Dogar ¨C Part of Milwa¡¯s Picker band and protective of his cooking.

    Heliquat (Hell-e-quat) ¨C Goddess ruling over the territory where the story takes place. Largely associated with darkness, death, pine trees, and blood.

    Her Beloved/ The Beloved - The only person to personally win Heliquat¡¯s favor and convinced Her to allow humans to live in Her territory. Now she helps to act as an intermediary between the goddess and humanity. Blood and shadow color scheme. Tattoo artist? (the goddess saw her work and liked the idea of leaving her mark on others too?)

    Igi (deceased) ¨C Prevna¡¯s childhood friend.

    Lady Blue (aka the Devouring Blue)

    Lady of Calm Waters

    Milwa - Prevna¡¯s mother and leader of her Picker band. She had Prevna call her by her name from a young age in public as ¡°she couldn¡¯t only be her mother.¡±

    Moorkin ¨C One of the first Chosen and the first Recorder. Wrote the Collection of Wishes and has much of her writing and drawings reproduced to preserve her first hand account of the beginning of the Fealty Age.

    Ver ¨C Prevna¡¯s childhood friend. Has a slight obsession with ice folk.

    Azabel Statue

    Broken Spear Peaks (Upper Peaks and Lower)

    Calling Road

    Carver Enclave

    First Shore Lake

    Flickermark

    Gabbler Shore

    Grislander¡¯s Maw

    Haggler¡¯s Cliffs

    Root Mountains

    Seedling Palace ¨C contains the goddess¡¯s residence.

    <ul>

    <li>Arena</li>

    <li>Healer¡¯s Nests</li>

    <li>Seed Landing</li>

    <li>The Gathering Spot</li>

    </ul>

    Shadow Caster Mountains

    Silver Forest

    Statue Garden

    The Arches ¨C Has terraced gardens and a gigantic ice statue of the Beloved that never melts and protects the residents in the gorge from the ocean waves. Arched pathways stretch from one side to another over the river at the bottom.

    The Crossing River

    The Cut

    The Folds

    The Rookery

    The Sisters (rivers)

    Plants

    Black Root ¨C caps.

    Corning flower ¨C no caps.

    Diatris leaves ¨C no caps.

    Feverluck ¨C no caps.

    Frostbite Berries ¨C no caps.

    Golden head ¨C no caps.

    Knuckle Grass ¨C no caps. Has a dizzying affect if you ingest too much but otherwise works as a good base for potent recipes. Very common and has a stringent flavor and smell.

    Lace Flower

    Lady¡¯s Tear ¨C caps.

    Lake Algae ¨C no caps.

    Lattis weed ¨C no caps.

    Needle Grass ¨C no caps.

    Purple Boulder Drops ¨C no caps.

    Ring Bush Bark ¨C no caps.

    Ripple Leaf Bush ¨C no caps.

    Seeping Moss ¨C no caps.

    Sleeper¡¯s Nest ¨C no caps.

    Snow Berry Bush ¨C no caps.

    Spirit Flower/Spiritflower ¨C no caps.

    Sun Glory ¨C no caps.

    Sweet Grass ¨C no caps. Often fermented.

    Traveler¡¯s Catch ¨C caps.

    Weaver¡¯s Grass ¨C no caps.

    White Leaf

    Animals

    Bane Pack

    Heart Backed Asper ¨C venomous snake. Asper¡¯s love is common name for its venom.

    Screecher

    Sea snake/water snake

    Shaggy coated boar

    Sleet Beetles ¨C Chirp¡¯s favorite snack.

    Storm Birds

    Monsters

    Conch commander

    Crawler

    Fish soldiers

    Kraken/squid creature (no in world name yet)

    Shamble men

    Shore Eaters

    Storm singers

    <h2>Games</h2>

    Petition the Goddess

    Recall

    Stones and Circles/Circles and Stones

    Hunter¡¯s Quarry

    <h2>Festivals/Celebrations</h2>

    Dark Night celebrations

    First Flurry Festival

    Heartsong Festival

    Welcome of the Winds

    <h2>Myths and Legends</h2>

    Bone Ring story

    Boulder and River myth

    Ghost Trees

    Grandmother and protective wall of bloody fire

    Grislander

    Ice Folk tales

    Lace Flower Lady and her green denizen entourage

    Sticky Fingers (person)

    The First and Last Wave

    The Thousand Cut Witch (whisper woman)

    The Wave Whisperer (Whisper woman)

    Warming Winds myths

    Whisper woman who crushed a Shore Eater¡¯s skull with her bare hands

    <h2>Tribal Positions</h2>

    Echo

    Grandmother

    Pack Leader

    Tribe Leader

    <h2>Other</h2>

    Claiming Sanctuary

    Shrines

    Use of tassels for status by fire starters

    Blessings

    Blessing

    Bless Mark

    Common Blessing

    Boons

    Dark Sight

    Elemental Resistance

    Shadow Walking

    Wind Whispering

    <h2>Sects</h2>

    Beastwatcher Sect

    Caretakers Sect

    Hundred Eyes Sect

    Peacekeepers Sect

    Scales Sect

    Seekers Sect

    <h2>Tribes</h2>

    Gabbler Shore

    Rookery

    Swirling Waters

    <h2>General Groups</h2>

    Black Handed Healers

    Carvers

    Seedlings

    Sprouts

    Whisper Women

    <h2>Other Terms</h2>

    Carver¡¯s Maze

    Feather Heart

    Glow stones

    Hearth stones

    Listener ¨C a whisper woman whose role focuses on receiving and sending messages on the wind.

    Patron

    Picker band

    Prayer needle

    Tamer

    Waterhole tribe

    Warming Winds (aka Living Winds)

 Book 4 - Ch. 1: A Small Celebration

    Prevna swaggered out of Mishtaw¡¯s home in the Seedling Palace holding a decent sized waterskin and two cups. She smiled as soon as she saw me sitting exactly where she expected and I rolled my eyes back at her. It wasn¡¯t my fault that this spot was the easiest to relax in. A gentle breeze, a good view of the land sprawling away from the Palace and the setting sun, and few people walked past the balcony during this time of day. Prevna joined me on the wide sap bench that jutted out from the balcony¡¯s wall as laughter bubbled from dark brown dome behind her.

    No doubt Pip, Creed and Petra¡¯s son, was doing something cute again. We could have been in there with them, watching his antics or playing the nearly inevitable game of sticks and stones, but we always ended up on the balcony. Or somewhere else in the Seedling Palace, if Prevna was bored and needed something more exciting to do than watch the sun disappear over the horizon.

    Mishtaw was a good mentor, if not as patient as Rawley and more in need of explanations, but, for all that she taught us well, I couldn¡¯t deny the feeling of separation between us and them. The four of them¡ªMishtaw, Eliss, Creed, and Petra¡ªwere too much of a unit¡­a family for us to force our way in and I had no desire to push the matter. Eliss¡¯s judgment didn¡¯t help either though Petra would go out of her way at times to include us in whatever they were doing. Mishtaw and Creed seemed more content to let us make our own choices as long as we listened when it mattered.

    Prevna poured a generous amount of golden liquid into a cup and handed it to me before filling her own and setting the waterskin aside. Then she clinked her cup against mine. ¡°I thank the goddess for allowing you to honor Her with another year lived. May She keep Her gaze averted so you can honor Her for many more.¡±

    ¡°May I honor Her,¡± I clinked her cup back before taking a sip of Mil¡¯s nectar and neglecting to ask Prevna how she had gotten such a big pouch when Mil was always swamped with requests.

    We pricked our marks with our prayer needles for good measure and flung a few drops of blood into open air only to watch them flake away to nothing in a matter of seconds.

    Prevna never forgot my naming day ever since she had learned when it was supposed to be. It was nearly impossible to get the exact day without a Grandmother keeping record, but last year around a handful of weeks after Welcoming the Winds she¡¯d offer the prayer with some treat and this year wasn¡¯t any different.

    Odd to think I was fifteen already and that a year and a half had passed since Mishtaw took us more directly under her wing. Relic hunting hadn¡¯t been what I thought it was. There were times when she¡¯d follow up on rumors about some new relic that might have been discovered, but most often we were dragged along while she checked up on ones she already knew about. Maintenance, checking over protections, looking for any new developments and documenting her findings.

    Once, I asked her why she left the relics where they were instead of bringing them back to the Seedling Palace. What if something happened to the carved stone hand she was checking over so intensely? Like the harp?

    She rightfully pointed out that some things were too big to move, that not every relic was a portable object, and that sometimes the goddess liked things as and where they were. Sometimes, she was allowed to bring things back with her though, to inspect them further or bring them to the goddess¡¯s nest. Mishtaw always seemed caught somewhere between relieved and intense focus whenever that happened. We¡¯d lose her for days as she¡¯d pour her attention into understanding the relic from the safety of the Seedling Palace.

    Other times Mishtaw was summoned by the commander to help the Peacekeepers with keeping the Lady Blue¡¯s fish from the shores or some other task Prevna and I weren¡¯t told. That was the deal between them we learned: because Mishtaw wasn¡¯t a Peackeeper but she monopolized Eliss¡¯s time who was one, sometimes she had to return the favor. Eliss could have had her own squad within the Peacekeepers from what I understood, but she refused to be separated from Mishtaw.

    The times they went to go fight we were dropped off at the Seedling Palace ¡°to reconnect and keep an eye on Pip¡±. Pip didn¡¯t really need any more minders as Creed and Petra¡¯s families were more than willing to watch him while the pair took care of their whisper women, but Prevna and I would stop by for awhile to check on him. Normally that meant Prevna would play with him while I sat back and watched.

    We¡¯d also check back in with the cohort since that was what Mishtaw meant by ¡°reconnect¡±. They got to make the most of the Seedling Palace¡¯s resources and connect with whisper women from all the different sects. Sometimes, they would be taken on short missions away from the Palace as well so they wouldn¡¯t be trapped in the branches for weeks and months on end.

    Wren and Dera still made a point of chatting with us and catching up whenever we showed up where the Sprouts were housed or found them in one of the other spots they frequented. Wren had befriended some of the seedlings that had been brought to the Landing in the years after us as well older Sprouts, Saplings, and whisper women who couldn¡¯t resist her charm. It meant she always had a good amount of gossip and stories to tell. Dera had amassed her own small following of people who were enamored by her unusual looks, sweet demeanor, and smarts. All in all, they normally couldn¡¯t spend long talking before something else pulled them away but that was just fine with me.

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    Prevna set her cup aside and pulled out a comb from one her pouches before offering it to me. I accepted it in answer to her silent question and she gave me her knowing smile before she turned her back to me. Then she pulled her hair free of the tie holding it in place so I could indulge in a new guilty pleasure.

    She had taken to wearing it up in a tail that flowed loose down her back and only one section braided back into it from over her left temple because her twin buns were ¡°childish¡±. I still liked her original style but after she caught me staring at her hair one too many times in this new one, she asked me if I wanted to help her with it. I said yes even though I knew shouldn¡¯t have and now a couple times a week she¡¯d hand me a comb and let me take my time working through every inch. My excuse was that it reminded me of my time with Rawley and Prevna seemed proud of herself for finding an activity with close contact that I tolerated for longer than anything else.

    As I worked on her hair my mind drifted back to the rest of the cohort. Breck had warmed back up to me after she heard a handful of tales from our travels and about the relics we saw with Mishtaw. She had also gotten closer to Loclen and Nii now that those two had settled into a strong friendship.

    Juniper, surprisingly, was the one who now seemed to drift between groups. Sometimes she was with Dera and Wren, sometimes with Breck or Loclen and Nii, sometimes with Prevna and me when we returned. Ento and Idra still kept an eye on her but ever since the Rookery there was something that seemed somewhat broken in their dynamic and it didn¡¯t help that Ento and Idra had coupled up, to absolutely no one¡¯s surprise. Though that meant sometimes they were more focused at sucking on each other¡¯s faces than anything to do with Juniper.

    Ulo and Andhi didn¡¯t interact with the rest of the cohort as much anymore unless there was an activity that forced us all together. They had found kindred spirits and sympathetic ears from others in the Palace and, frankly, I didn¡¯t care enough about them to pay much more attention than that.

    The cohort weren¡¯t the only ones we¡¯d see when we came back to the Seedling Palace. Esie and Kaylan had made a point to make sure Prevna and I joined them during the celebration of the Welcome of the Winds again for the past two years. Esie would also occasionally give me advice or updates on possibly getting my mentor restriction further lifted. It seemed that since my current arrangement with Mishtaw had been going well for over a year without any incidents a Scale might be more willing to offer further leniency. Frustratingly, Esie still only gave cryptic answers and silent smiles when I tried to ask about the Lady of Calm Waters. Apparently, I could only learn about my patron when she deemed it necessary and that hadn¡¯t happened yet. She hadn¡¯t called in the favors I supposedly owed either.

    It was a rare occasion that I saw the other whisper women I knew from when I had been sent to the shore or the journey to the Rookery and I didn¡¯t go out my way to be friendly with anyone new. Some of them wouldn¡¯t notice me while others, like Hattie, always needed to say something to her favorite Little Diver.

    I hadn¡¯t heard from or seen Jin or Yule in years, thankfully, as it was easy not to go where they might be and they likely had bigger things to deal with continuing to try to kick me out of the Seedling Palace. Still, some part of me couldn¡¯t help but feel like that particular trouble wasn¡¯t entirely over and done with.

    I also still went to the nested library while the new seedlings would be in practice to read through Shawsh¡¯s scrolls and admire his newest sculpture. There were other libraries throughout the Palace I could go to¡ªand I did¡ªbut there was nostalgic feeling that clung to that place that kept me going back. Clara was often still in the library when I arrived as well and I had no idea how she kept up with her training with the sheer amount of time she seemed to have spent in the library over the years. She was a Sapling now, on track to becoming a Scale, and still very disinterested in having her reading interrupted by anyone but Shawsh.

    She also wasn¡¯t forthcoming about what getting the last two boons was like. Wind whispering and elemental resistance. No one in the cohort had earned them yet despite the amount of time since we earned dark sight at the Rookery and the lack of training needed for that particular boon. Instead focus had been put on increasing our skill with shadow walking and our other more mundane skills.

    Now everyone could travel to shadows out of sight, even Juniper, though the distance and shade needed varied for everyone. I could travel between medium shadows with miles between them now with little strain while Prevna was better at pinpointing small dark shadows to pop out of. We were both training at getting better at bringing others with us and she was gaining the edge with that skill as well. Though Wren was the true leader when it came to taking a companion through the shadows. She could take Chirp with her through the shadow paths without a second thought and, last I heard, now another person in addition to him wasn¡¯t that big of a strain either.

    I ran the comb through Prevna¡¯s smooth, soft hair one last time before tapping her the shoulder with it. She took it back and then I set to work getting it braided and tied back like she liked. My first attempts had been terrible, but now my fingers easily followed habit and finished the task in minutes.

    ¡°All done.¡±

    Prevna turned to lean back against the balcony¡¯s wall with a sigh and drank more of her nectar. ¡°You¡¯ve gotten too good at that.¡±

    I narrowed my eyes back at her. ¡°Would you rather it look like a rat¡¯s nest?¡±

    She snorted softly and rolled her eyes. ¡°No.¡± For a moment it seemed like she might elaborate, but then she changed the topic instead,

    ¡°Are you ready for tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°To check on the new relic?¡± I smiled back at her despite some apprehension. ¡°Of course. Hopefully there¡¯ll actually be one this time.¡±

    We continued chatting as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky. Tomorrow we were supposed to somewhere within view of the Seedling Palace, but the Broken Spear Peaks weren¡¯t even close to an idle place to travel from the myths and stories I heard. Mishtaw was determined to check out the rumors of a relic found there, however, so we would just have to brave them despite the rumors that had been building for years of kidnapped boys and a beast of wing and scale and realistic nightmares strong enough to kill a woman.

 Book 4 - Ch. 2: On the Mountainside

    I stepped through the shadows and held in a sigh of relief when I saw that the others were nearby. Traveling to the Broken Spear Peaks had been the longest path Mishtaw had allowed me to attempt on my own so far, and it wouldn¡¯t have been good if I made myself look like a fool who was more bark than bite after the amount of time I spent pushing her to let me do it. The best way to keep a group together in the shadows was to have someone pull everyone else through, but most whisper women could only handle one or two others at a time from what I could tell. So then they normally resorted to traveling in pairs while the leaders of each pair worked to make their paths end near each other.

    It was all about intention and conviction and mental stamina, and I was determined to show that I had more than enough of all three so I didn¡¯t have be dragged through the shadow paths like a child. And I didn¡¯t want to have to rely on blood markers if I could help it either.

    Mishtaw looked over and nodded at me before she went back to directing the rest of the squad. They had arrived before me with Prevna. I wasn¡¯t to the point where I could shadow walk at the same time as them and guarantee that I¡¯d end up in the same area, especially without having been to the place before. I still needed something to anchor the ends of my path. Esie might have said that picturing where you wanted to go didn¡¯t mater as much but I still found that it helped, if I had the option, and Prevna was one of the strongest anchors I could use since we had kept up our game of shadowing walking to each other.

    If she wasn¡¯t blocking me from finding her. That was one of the main things Mishtaw had focused on teaching us while we traveled with her: the ability to stop other whisper women from popping in on you whenever they wanted to by using the shadows. Prevna rarely bothered with it outside of practice but I kept it up constantly unless I wanted her find me. That ruined our game a bit, but I preferred sacrificing the concentration needed to keep it up rather than leaving the opportunity for any whisper woman to track me down if she felt like it. Prevna said I was paranoid and I insisted it was the smart thing to do. Then she¡¯d tease that was the case only for people who got on everyone else¡¯s bad side.

    The lower Broken Spear Peaks were just as imposing up close as they had been from a distance back when I had traveled through the Cut after the goddess¡¯s procession. Jagged cliffs and spires rose out of the fog that covered the mountain tops nearly all year round. Apparently, only the goddess¡¯s storms marking the beginning and end of each season cleared it away from a time. Boulders and loose pebbles littered the mountainside, like some giant hand had scooped out different parts of the mountain range before crumbling it to pieces. The oddest, creepiest part, however, was that the pine trees stopped short of the fog. Despite the fact that some of these peaks couldn¡¯t have been taller than the Root Mountains. I was used to seeing mountains absolutely blanketed with pine trees, and yet here, it was like the goddess had actually shown restraint with that particular symbol of Her power.

    I didn¡¯t like it but we were here until Mishtaw found her relic or we proved there was nothing to find. I settled near where Prevna was sunning herself against a boulder while Mishtaw and Petra determined exactly where we had ended up in the lower Peaks and which direction would be the best way to start our search. Eliss shot me a glare as she continued to survey our surroundings¡ªshe still thought I was a troublemaker who would ruin things given half a chance¡ªand Creed double checked our supplies.

    Prevna cracked open an eye to peer at me. ¡°What do you think the relic will be like?¡±

    I shrugged.

    All we had to go off of was a scrap of song Mishtaw had overheard during the last Heartsong Festival. Something about a funeral pyre ever burning and never lit and a land hollowed out by grief. We had checked other spots first, tried to find more information, before, through the process of elimination, more and more of leads pointed to the Broken Spear Peaks. The relic could be as straight forward as an actual forgotten funeral pyre or that could symbolic and there might not actually a relic to find. It had happened before, but Mishtaw wouldn¡¯t stop seeking until she had her answers.

    I wiggled my fingers. ¡°All set?¡±

    She wiggled hers back. ¡°Four Black Root, three Sleeper¡¯s Kiss, two stinging nettle, and one Asper¡¯s Love.¡± She poked my poisoner¡¯s pouch. ¡°You?¡±

    We had learned that Prevna needed to take her poisons directly from the plant or animal that produced it, but I had still taken to keeping at least some ground Black Root, feverluck, and spiritflower on hand in case I needed to incapacitate my own opponent. There was room for more in the pouch but I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to make the poison mixtures Rawley had taught me yet. Between their selective use and what might happen if anyone thought I was making a healing mixture kept the itch to do more at bay.

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    ¡°The usual.¡±

    Prevna huffed a bit at my reply. She thought I should make use of what I knew, but Mishtaw called us over before she could poke at my restraint again.

    ¡°Keep close and your eyes out for anything unusual. Petra will lead and Creed will take up the rear like usual,¡± Mishtaw commanded.

    I kept to the back of the group with Creed while Prevna made her way up the front to glean what tracking and navigation tips she could from Petra. Mishtaw and Eliss ended up in the middle. If we were in more well known territory Mishtaw might have started quizzing me about this or that fact, or my progress with a certain skill, but as it was all her focus on making sure we stayed safe. I was content with the quiet and kept my eyes out for danger like she had bid.

    We had arrived near the edge of the tree line and now we skirted around the fog looking for a way further into the mountains without completely ruining our line of sight. It made sense that the relic wouldn¡¯t be in the easily accessible wooded mountainsides, but I kept an eye out for clues just in case as well.

    There was an eerie quality to the mountains. It was almost¡­too quiet. Only the occasional bird call or rustle of movement disturbed the silence. Like even the animals had abandoned these mountains or were too afraid to draw even the slightest amount of attention to themselves. The air tasted damp and heavy despite being outside of the fog and I had to stop myself from adjusting my traveling pack through sheer unease.

    To distract myself I turned part of my attention to my memory tent and started working my way through the things I didn¡¯t want to forget. I started with the myths and legends I knew first. Eventually I¡¯d get to the plants outside the tent, but that always felt like pressing on a deep bruise with all my strength. I couldn¡¯t allow myself to forget, but it hurt to remember too.

    The day passed slowly with only the distance we covered as a sign of progress. Mishtaw, Eliss, Prevna, and I all took turns at night watch since we could see in the dark. I had the last watch.

    Which was when something odd happened.

    Off in the distance I saw something catch and light. Just a flicker of flame. Like someone using the common blessing deeper in the mountains where the fog should have shrouded everything. My hand went to my spear as I tried to determine if I needed to wake others. Was it a foolish Picker band looking to raid what we had or something else? Did these mountains cause waking nightmares as well?

    I waited, tense, for any other signs of danger. But nothing moved and there weren¡¯t any other flickers of light and I couldn¡¯t leave our campsite to investigate without waking someone else to take over my post. I glanced at the tent Prevna and I shared. She wouldn¡¯t mind me waking her up but she wouldn¡¯t want me going off on my own and she had already done her night shift.

    Everyone would be getting up in a couple hours. I could report to Mishtaw what I had seen then though she wouldn¡¯t be pleased if we missed a potential clue or danger because I hadn¡¯t wanted to wake anyone up.

    Feeling like a fool for getting worked up over a bit of light, I crouched next the tent she shared with Eliss and let out a very quiet whistle.

    Mishtaw answered immediately, ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°A flicker of flame near the top of the mountain or the one behind it. I couldn¡¯t tell with the fog.¡±

    Mishtaw pushed her way out of the tent despite Eliss¡¯s mumbled protest and had me point out where I had seen the bit of light.

    ¡°Anything since then?¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°Nothing.¡±

    She nodded back at me. ¡°Wake me again if you notice anything else. If everything stays quiet we¡¯ll check it out once everyone can see in the morning.¡±

    The rest of my shift was only interrupted by Creed waking up earlier than everyone else to stoke his cook fire and prepare the morning meal. He dismissed the flicker of flame as not being that big of a deal, but he tended to not put as much stock into anything he couldn¡¯t touch with his own two hands. He also still had the unfortunate habit of calling me ¡®little miss¡¯ but I couldn¡¯t chew him out over it because I was sure he and Prevna had a bet going on about how much I could stomach the irritating nickname and I didn¡¯t want either of them to win it.

    The others all gradually joined us around the small fire and Mishtaw filled everyone in about the night¡¯s small bit of excitement while we ate. Eliss gave me a look that said I was proving again that I was more trouble than I was worth but she stopped when Mishtaw caught it and gave her a look in return. That started a quick, silent conversation between them that I couldn¡¯t decipher but it ended with Eliss getting up to patrol the immediate surrounding area like it often did.

    Prevna bumped her shoulder against mine in silent support. I bumped her shoulder back and then paid attention as Mishtaw detailed the new plan for the day.

    ¡°Creed and I will head up to where Gimley saw the flame while everyone else packs up the camp. If we find something I¡¯ll let Eliss know and you can all join us, but otherwise we¡¯ll come back down and continue working our way around the mountain looking for other clues.¡±

    This was hardly the first time Mishtaw had split the group to cover more ground for a scouting mission, but I didn¡¯t like the idea of them going up into the fog on their own. I could tell Petra wasn¡¯t pleased either and Eliss had probably argued with Mishtaw about it when they were still in their tent, but now that the plan had been decided no one went against Mishtaw¡¯s authority. We all had to trust that she knew what she was doing like we had many times before.

    So Mishtaw and Creed disappeared into the fog and I had to hope that sharing what I had seen hadn¡¯t sent them straight into the danger all the myths warned about.

 Book 4 - Ch. 3: The Waiting Game

    Time dragged by as we waited for Eliss or Mishtaw and Creed to return. It didn¡¯t take long to pack up camp¡ªwe likely could have gone with Mishtaw if she had waited a handful of minutes, but it seemed she was being cautious about dragging everyone into the eerie fog. So, instead, Prevna and Petra started up an idle game of Recall and occasionally tried to rope me in as well, but I kept my focus on our surroundings. With how terrible these mountains were supposed to be I couldn¡¯t help but expect something to go wrong.

    By the time an hour had passed without a word from Eliss the other two had given up their pretense of unperturbed boredom as well. Petra was visibly between tracking down her whisper woman and staying to watch over the two Sprouts that had been placed in her care. We couldn¡¯t shoulder all of the supplies that Creed helped carry, so we either had to continue to wait on the others appear on their own, split up to search, or abandon our supplies in favor of searching together.

    If Prevna or I knew how to whisper on the wind we could just check in with the others from afar without having to make such a decision, but Mishtaw kept insisting that we needed to wait. That circumstances weren¡¯t quite right and we should focus on our other skills. She never went in detail about exactly what circumstances were needed and it annoyed me to no end. I was sure that other Sprouts hadn¡¯t been kept from earning such a vital blessing for nearly two years after they left the Seed Landing.

    Petra rose from where she was using a rolled up bedroll as a cushion and gestured for us to stay back. ¡°I¡¯ll go bring Eliss back. You two stay here and watch over the supplies.¡±

    Prevna frowned. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    Petra cut her off with a gentle tone. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. Though you should be prepared to slip into the shadows if anything comes along that you don¡¯t think you can handle.¡±

    Petra slipped away with her traveling pack before we could protest further. I didn¡¯t like that she felt the need to take it since it meant there was a slight possibility she thought she might not be able to return right away, but it was better to be over prepared than under. Having her go with her tracking skills and familiarity with Eliss was the smarter choice even if I didn¡¯t like it. Splitting up felt like we were inviting things to go wrong.

    ¡°What do you think happened?¡± Prevna asked.

    I shrugged. ¡°She could have found something or gotten stuck somehow.¡±

    Neither of us really believed either option. There were enough pine trees around that Eliss should have been able to use the shadows to escape nearly any situation and she wasn¡¯t thick headed enough to get lost. Nor was it likely that we¡¯d happen find something barely a day into our search on a part of the mountains others would have relatively easy access to as long as they dared hike up the Broken Spear Peaks.

    But we didn¡¯t have much option except to wait and scare of any critters that might be tempted by our provisions with our presence. Prevna touched the whip on her belt but ultimately decided to practice with something quieter. She pulled her spear free and started to work through the different practice sequences we had learned. I was tempted to join her but instead I kept up sentry duty and did my best not be distracted by the way her hair caught the sunlight or anything else.

    After awhile she flopped back against her traveling pack with a groan and took over watching our surroundings so I could get my own spear practice in. Another hour passed and then two without a single sighting of anyone in Mishtaw¡¯s squad.

    Prevna and I shared an uneasy glance. We had been left to our own devices before for hours on end during a relic search, watching over supplies like we were doing now, but normally we knew to expect the long wait. Mishtaw and Creed should have had enough time to reach the top of mountain and look for clues by now, perhaps if they were being extra thorough or were waiting for us to arrive after getting in contact with Eliss it would make sense why they hadn¡¯t appeared yet. But Eliss¡¯s disappearance didn¡¯t make sense. Normally she would have been back within the first hour to check in and report on what she had seen during her impromptu patrol.

    I wanted to do something, but our best option was to sit still and wait for someone to return. Otherwise, they¡¯d return to an empty camp, abandoned supplies, and no explanations. Going after either group could just result in more confusion or another missing person. It was best to assume that Mishtaw and Eliss were keeping in contact with each other at least and we were being kept out of it because it¡¯d waste time to fetch us and we wouldn¡¯t have been much more helpful than we already were watching everyone¡¯s things.

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    So we quizzed each other on various bits of knowledge and triple checked all of the supplies and practiced some more. We waited until I was about to snatch my pack off the ground and sprint up the mountain just to check what was going on with my own eyes when Creed and Mishtaw stumbled out of the fog.

    We scrambled over to meet them and help but they both shrugged off our attempts to help them walk in a straight line. Neither was injured from what I could tell, but their movements were languid and sloppy¡ªcompletely unlike how they normally moved. It was almost like they were drunk with the way they blinked owlishly and grinned before bursting into¡­giggles when they caught each other¡¯s glance. It wasn¡¯t how either of them normally behaved drunk either but I had seen others who got like that.

    ¡°What happened? Did you find anything?¡± Prevna tried to press them for answers.

    Mishtaw limply patted her on the shoulder before sliding down onto the ground. ¡°All good. No¡­worry so let¡¯s just, just sleep first.¡±

    Creed sat next to her. ¡°Yes! Sleep then talk.¡±

    Prevna and I shared a horrified look as they settled down further on the rough grass. Then we both moved at the same time. I checked Mishtaw¡¯s pulse and pried open her eye lids and everything else I could think of to make sure she wasn¡¯t poisoned while Prevna did her best to shake and pinch Creed awake. They both grumbled incoherently and pushed us off them repeatedly. Within a couple minutes Creed was snoring and Mishtaw was completely out as well with her head resting against his side.

    Neither was poisoned by anything Rawley had taught me, but the way their eyes were dilated and their odd behavior still pointed to something having gone wrong. Neither of were the type to smoke or drink on the job if they would have even had bothered to bring those things with them on a relic hunt. Could they have been attacked? Or did this have to do with the mountains themselves?

    I couldn¡¯t find marks that would have hinted at an attack. Perhaps there was a poisonous plant they had both happened to touch? Some ambush predator that had struck both them so it could hunt when they were asleep and weak? I eyed the fog that covered the mountain top. Maybe there was something in the air itself.

    We couldn¡¯t move Creed, so we propped up his head with a pack and covered them both in their blankets as best we could so that they¡¯d at least be comfortable.

    Prevna whispered, ¡°Do you think it was poison?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure what else it could be, but it doesn¡¯t seem like it¡¯s killing them.¡±

    She nodded reluctantly. ¡°Let¡¯s hope they wake up soon.¡±

    I nodded back and we set to work setting up a small barricade with the remaining supplies, so that if anything did come out of the fog it wouldn¡¯t have a straight shot at Mishtaw and Creed without anything in the way. The midday meal was some of the dried provisions we had brought that weren¡¯t nearly as appetizing without Creed¡¯s cooking.

    Petra and Eliss returned less than an hour later seeming pleased about something before they spotted Mishtaw and Creed sprawled out on the ground. Then they sprinted the rest of the way. Petra dropped her knees next to Creed and let a small sigh of relief when she saw that he was breathing. Eliss tried to gently shake Mishtaw awake but when that didn¡¯t work she glared at me. ¡°What happened?¡±

    The accusation was clear as day. Something was wrong, so clearly it had be my fault. It didn¡¯t help that I was the one who saw the flicker of flame that sent them up the mountain in the first place.

    I drew in a deep breath and replied as evenly as I could. ¡°No one returned for hours, but when they came back less than an hour ago they were acting weird, like happy drunks¡ª¡±

    Eliss nearly cut me off there but Petra laid a hand on her arm, stopping the rant that had to building. The fire starter gave me small smile of encouragement to cover up her worry, ¡°And?¡±

    I continued, ¡°And they refused to talk. They fell asleep within minutes and we haven¡¯t been able to wake them back up.¡±

    Prevna added, ¡°Were you able to talk to Mishtaw on the wind?¡±

    Eliss shook her head. ¡°I got her message about the plan before they headed up the mountain, but I haven¡¯t heard anything since. I found¡ª¡± She waved a hand, dismissing whatever she had been about to say. ¡°They haven¡¯t gotten worse?¡±

    Prevna smoothly drew Eliss¡¯s attention back to her while I slipped back. She had always been more willing to listen to Prevna than me. ¡°They¡¯ve just been sleeping from what we can tell.¡±

    Eliss sighed and pressed a hand to Mishtaw¡¯s cheek. ¡°We¡¯ll camp here again tonight then. I¡¯ll go get a healer from the Palace to be on the safe side as well.¡±

    Everyone agreed and we set to work getting the camp set up again while we all kept a careful eye on the sleeping pair. Sometimes they¡¯d twitch or mumble something but that was about it. I didn¡¯t recognize the healer Eliss brought but she quickly diagnosed they were just sleeping though she wasn¡¯t sure which sedative they might have been accidentally affected by. She advised to let them sleep it off and then gather what we could from them when they woke up so we could avoid it in the future. Eliss took the healer back to the Seedling Palace and then all we could do was wait some more.

    It was full dark by the time Creed finally opened his eyes and no one had even bothered trying to go to sleep before we got answers.

 Book 4 - Ch. 4: Initial Discoveries

    The fog was a death trap. Something that made you lose focus, suppressed fear and self-preservation, before sending you into a sleep you might not wake up from if you succumbed while still in the fog. Creed woke up with a pounding headache¡ªthe various treatments I had to ignore still popped up on the edge of my mind¡ªbut he was able to detail what had happened.

    The hike up the mountain had been relatively simple even with making sure they didn¡¯t get turned around in the fog. Mishtaw had been affected first. Her movements a little more relaxed, her voice a little too loud. He put it down to her being more at ease being away from the group, knowing she didn¡¯t need to be the leader and mentor when it was just the two of them. They were able to scout around the top of the mountain without any true mishaps, but Creed was starting to feel the effects by then as well, so even when Mishtaw did something out of character and suggested they didn¡¯t need to check in with Eliss, he went along with it and suggested they scout further down into the valley. They did, and only returned because Creed wanted to sleep on his bedroll and Mishtaw wanted to tell everyone what they had found.

    Really, it was small miracle they had managed to return out of the fog as close to camp as they did and before one of them succumbed to the fog¡¯s sedative properties. But it seemed even with having their minds addled they hadn¡¯t completely lost their tracking and navigation skills.

    Mishtaw woke up while Creed told the story and they were both sure the fog was to blame. There hadn¡¯t been odd plants they both touched, no ambush predators, that it was the only thing that made sense. I agreed, especially with the odd way the pine trees stopped right on the edge of the fog¡¯s reach. Perhaps the goddess didn¡¯t want the fog fouling up Her precious trees.

    Mishtaw filled in the gaps of Creed¡¯s story. She had been dismissive of reaching out to Eliss because the air up in the fog was practically dead with only the occasional wisp of a breeze. In her addled state it made perfect sense to just inform everyone of what they found when they returned instead of being uneasy about the blocked communication.

    What they had found was interesting though. Footprints and scat. Three different people had been near the top of the mountain with at least two different beasts. The kind of beast was unknown but part of their body dragged against the ground and their footprints didn¡¯t indicate something dainty. Unfortunately, the tracks disappeared not far from the watch post, like whoever had made them knew how to use the terrain to their advantage.

    The fog was also thinner near the mountain top so while we hadn¡¯t been able to make Mishtaw and Creed from our position on the mountainside they had been able to watch us for a bit. Thankfully their curiosity about where Eliss and Petra had gone had also helped pull them back down the mountain even if the need to sleep had overwhelmed everything else in the end.

    All of which prompted the question of who had been watching us, why they had alerted us to their presence with that flicker of flame, and how they seemed unaffected by the fog. We didn¡¯t have the answers, but Eliss had found something else of interest that seemed like it could be a piece of the puzzle.

    An artificial den dug into the mountainside. Cleverly hidden so you couldn¡¯t see the opening in the ground unless you approached from a certain angle and even then it was disguised to look like it might have been an animal¡¯s den. Eliss had ignored it at first until she found odd scuff marks and a trail that hadn¡¯t been disguised quite as well that led back to the den. Then she lost a good amount of time making sure some predator wasn¡¯t going to lunge out and bite her before she squeezed through the entrance and discovered a pungent smelling tarp blocking her way, likely to repel any creatures that might have wanted to make the hideaway into an actual den. After she got past the tarp it quickly opened up to a proper tunnel. The tunnel led to a hidden storage area. There hadn¡¯t been much for her to find, but it had been enough to raise more questions.

    A couple sacks of old sheep¡¯s wool and common tools, seeds ground into the dirt and forgotten in the shadow of one corner. A handful of empty sacks and a travois piled against one wall. It was interesting that someone had gone through all the trouble to create the space, hide it, and then leave useful things behind instead of taking it with them, but perhaps they hadn¡¯t wanted to haul it up and down the mountain repeatedly. Even if that then left the question of who was climbing the Broken Spear Peaks so often that became a consideration and why they would want to when these mountains were supposed to be abandoned and avoided by the tribes and Picker bands that used to inhabit them.

    The more we learned the less that actually seemed to be the case. I wasn¡¯t sure if that would have any bearing on our relic hunt, but it was unsettling to find traces of others in mountains without actually seeing them.

    Eliss led us to the hidden den in the morning after Mishtaw and Creed¡¯s headaches had mostly subsided. Like she had said, there was little to go off of and it likely didn¡¯t have anything to do with the relic we needed to find, but it still felt like some kind of progress compared to blindly wandering the mountainside or waiting in the camp all day.

    I picked up some of the seeds and slipped them into my poisoner¡¯s pouch though, irritatingly, I didn¡¯t recognize them. They did seem to be roasted which meant they were probably just some snack someone had carelessly dropped, but I didn¡¯t like not knowing what they were. This way, if we happened across the plant the seeds came from, I¡¯d be able to compare the seeds and at least know that much.

    Stolen novel; please report.

    After visiting the den we had to figure out our next steps. We could follow the trail that led to it down the mountain to figure who might be using it, but that seemed unlikely to help with locating the relic. We could also keep skirting around the fog even though it seemed like it would be perfect for keeping a relic hidden.

    I knew of different plants and mixtures that could help keep a person awake or sharpen their awareness, but those had been side effects of healing solutions and I didn¡¯t have the ingredients even if I had been allowed to make them. Nor would they help with the loss of fear the fog seemed to induce as well and we¡¯d have to sleep at some point. We wouldn¡¯t be able to travel very far in before having to turn back if we didn¡¯t want to be caught in the fog¡¯s hold while we slept. In the end, we didn¡¯t have a way to combat the fog¡¯s effects and we wouldn¡¯t be likely to find the relic until we did.

    Prevna eyed the trail leading down the mountainside as we all stood outside the hidden den and tried to figure out what to do next. ¡°Whoever uses this hideaway might be trading with the people in the fog. We¡¯d have stashes in the Folds for that or for other items that didn¡¯t make sense to carry with us all the time.¡±

    Mishtaw looked intrigued. ¡°You think they might know how the others can stay in the fog?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s our best bet unless whoever was watching us comes back and is willing to talk.¡±

    ¡°The Cut Picker bands aren¡¯t known for being trustworthy.¡± Eliss was noticeably less interested in Prevna¡¯s idea. ¡°Even if they talk they might give us false information or extort us for what we need to know.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s lips pressed together but she kept her voice even and light. ¡°They¡¯ll honor an honest Exchange as they would for anyone who knows the game. Besides, if anyone is foolish enough to try to hunt resources from whisper women then they wouldn¡¯t be found in the Cut.¡±

    Mishtaw nodded and gestured for us to start down the mountain. ¡°Then we follow the trail and see what we find.¡± She focused on Prevna. ¡°You¡¯ll take lead since you know their ways better than the rest of us.¡±

    Prevna grinned back. ¡°What am I allowed to barter?¡±

    Mishtaw and Prevna had a mild debate as we steadily followed the trail around broken rock and by small streams in the pine forest that grew thicker the more we descended. It was beautiful but I kept on the lookout for threats even as I eavesdropped on their conversation.

    I had learned more about Prevna¡¯s time growing up in a Picker band but she rarely went into detail about things other than the antics she had gotten up to with her friends. She kept it entertaining. I wasn¡¯t sure if she left the more mundane things because she found them boring or thought that they were obvious. Or if she thought I¡¯d be uncomfortable getting into the details about how her band survived by stealing from others, but I never pressed her for information. I never wanted to talk about my time in the Gabbler Shore except for bits and pieces about the very end with Rawley. I didn¡¯t even talk much about Fellen with her¡­and she knew how that ended so there wouldn¡¯t be much point anyway. But it never felt right to drag all the details out of Prevna about her childhood when I could barely offer any of my own.

    Listening in, I learned that the Exchange was all about showing off what you had, hinting at what you might be willing to give and what you were interested in getting when it came to supplies, services, and knowledge. None of it was the direct trade or outright stealing I was used to when it came to my understanding of Picker bands. Nor were supplies often the most valuable out of the three. Instead, when it came to Picker bands trading with each other it often came down to services rendered or knowledge that the other band was willing to share, given the random skill sets those in the bands might have compared to what they might need.

    Prevna would be allowed to make use of some of the resources Mishtaw had back in the Seedling Palace if we needed them to strike a deal. However, if the band preferred service or knowledge we could provide those as well as long as it didn¡¯t take too long or pertain to things only whisper women were supposed to know.

    Prevna seemed pleased with what she had to work with but I didn¡¯t miss the tension in her shoulders as Mishtaw moved on to speak with Eliss. I bumped my shoulder against hers as I stepped up next to her.

    She rolled her eyes back at me and stretched. ¡°I¡¯m not nervous enough for you to be worried about me.¡±

    I didn¡¯t point out that it had been years since she had been part of a Picker band and she likely hadn¡¯t led an Exchange with another band then either. ¡°Got everything you need?¡±

    ¡°More than enough. If they know what we need, I¡¯ll get it out of them.¡±

    The hike down the mountain was uneventful except for needing to double check a few times that we were still on the correct trail when it crossed a stream or over other terrain that didn¡¯t leave easy tracks to follow.

    Prevna stopped us once we were in the lower third of the mountain and pointed to a mark painted on the side of a tree. A hand print dripping three drops of blood. No one grumbled about her taking charge, not even Eliss. We had felt eyes on us for at least the past half mile.

    She explained in a low voice, ¡°If we cross that mark we¡¯ll be in their official territory.¡± Then she focused on where the mark was again and let out a loud whistle. ¡°A bloody exchange forms enemies and discord.¡±

    ¡°A honest exchange forms friendships and goodwill.¡± A deep voice answered her as a man stepped out from behind a tree. ¡°Do you come with blunted spears and open palms?¡±

    That obviously wasn¡¯t the case with the weapons hanging off our belts, but the words sounded more ritualistic than an actual question. Prevna held her hands out in front of her palms up. ¡°I come with offerings and a prayer for your band. Do you offer the same?¡±

    The man glanced around, taking us all in, before nodding slowly and pricking his wrist with his prayer needle so a drop of blood fell to the ground. ¡°I do.¡±

    Prevna nodded back and pricked her wrist was well. The blood didn¡¯t flake away, not being a true prayer to the goddess, but the symbolic gesture seemed to be enough. There was some rustling around us as two others stepped from their hiding places but Prevna seemed more at ease now that the introduction was out of the way. Really, it was the Picker band people who seemed on the back foot with our lack of reaction at their reveal as well as being faced with two obvious whisper women and two more with black lips.

    I held back a smile I looked forward to watching Prevna make full use of the advantage as the Exchange officially could begin.

 Book 4 - Ch. 5: Bone to Bone

    Prevna and the Picker band¡¯s spokesman settled across from each other on the ground while the rest of our group and the two watchers made a loose circle around them. Close enough to step in if someone tried something stupid, but not so close that we were looming over their conversation.

    I did my best to focus on it for the first handful of minutes, but it sounded like they were discussing the weather and small anecdotes more so than actually trading anything. There were also references and terms that were frustratingly difficult to follow as I hadn¡¯t heard of them before. I¡¯m sure there was purpose in it and Prevna was doing what she promised, but it didn¡¯t take me long to decide that if I never needed to haggle with a Picker band again I would go for the more direct trade even if it was considered rude and I¡¯d get a worse deal. Better that than hinting at skills and knowledge through half a dozen small stories, implied threats, and light bragging about our supplies.

    Instead I turned my focus on everyone¡¯s reactions as the subtle bartering continued. The big man who had answered for the Picker band looked more intrigued the more he spoke with Prevna. I ignore the small twinge that twisted in my stomach and instead took pride in the wary looks the other two got whenever they seemed to catch sight of black lips out of the corner of their eye. They also didn¡¯t seem to like Creed¡¯s size or trust Petra¡¯s smile.

    Our group was simply focused on looking as intimidating as possible while not being overtly threatening. A united front of the goddess¡¯s favor and the uneasy possibility of drawing Her focus through our presence.

    Nearly an hour passed before they came to an agreement that they both could stomach. Then they both touched their thumbs to their lips before pressing their thumbs together.

    ¡°Bone to bone.¡±

    Something settled in the Picker band members as soon as their spokesperson and Prevna uttered the phrase together. Prevna smiled back at them before popping to her feet and coming over to report to Mishtaw.

    ¡°They¡¯ll reach out to the band in fog on our behalf, so that we¡¯ll be less likely to be attacked for entering their territory, and provide us a week¡¯s worth of what that band uses to stay unaffected by the mist.¡± At Mishtaw¡¯s expectant look she shook her head once. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t say what it is. Not yet. First they want four medium sized furs to help prepare for the cold season. He wouldn¡¯t presume to take advantage of a whisper woman¡¯s time, so he asked for Creed and Petra to help train their fighters over the next few days. Tensions are rising in the Cut.¡±

    Mishtaw¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°Anything else?¡±

    Prevna carefully didn¡¯t look at me. ¡°They have injured and the healer they normally used is now across enemy territory. There¡¯s a violent band that¡¯s been expanding. If we can escort their injured to the healer or bring another healer here briefly they would further assistance.¡±

    ¡°Violent band?¡± Eliss latched onto those words. ¡°Death bringers?¡±

    Prevna blinked, taken aback. ¡°He didn¡¯t say.¡±

    Eliss¡¯s focus snapped to the spokesman. ¡°This violent band that¡¯s keeping you from your healer¡ªare they killing? On purpose?¡±

    He held himself stiffly under the weight of her look, but his voice didn¡¯t waver. ¡°Two of ours have gone onto their second life prematurely in recent weeks because of the Fangs. One took a blade across the throat when she was already restrained.¡±

    Eliss sucked in a sharp breath. ¡°Mishtaw.¡±

    ¡°I know. The relic will wait.¡± Mishtaw gently squeezed Prevna¡¯s shoulder. ¡°You did good.¡± Then she stepped past Prevna to drag the Picker band¡¯s attention onto her. ¡°Your bargain will be honored but first, our honor demands we take care of those who encroach on the goddess¡¯s domain. Peace must be kept before they drag everyone down with them.¡±

    Somehow I doubted that they¡¯d be given a lecture or locked away somewhere. This had happened once before. During a relic hunt, Mishtaw and Eliss had learned of a small tribe living in fear of a man who taken control through murder. Apparently, he had claimed the killing negated any life inside him, that he was greater follower of the goddess because he had embodied one of Her aspects. They had left and come back bloody.

    Peacekeepers were the goddess¡¯s spear. They were the divine punishment for anyone who thought they had the authority to take someone else¡¯s life. Those death bringers did not. But the Peacekeepers did, and they were duty bound to keep the peace. Murder for murders, to keep the scales balanced, and fighting kept to nonlethal tactics for everyone else. Peaceful, by the goddess¡¯s standards.

    Mishtaw might not be a full Peacekeeper but her unique status and relationship with Eliss seemed to make some Peacekeeper permissions and expectations fall on her. So when Eliss was called to keep the peace, she could follow. As fire starters who trained to support Peacekeepers, Petra and Creed apparently had similar authority to help their whisper women end deadly threats.

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    ¡°You will tell us everything you know about this Fang band,¡± Mishtaw said. ¡°We will take care of the problem. While we do our apprentices will stay with you. If we return to find them not exactly as we left them, you will discover the goddess¡¯s wrath as well.¡±

    Mishtaw directed Eliss forward to start collecting information before she turned back to Prevna and me to speak in a softer voice, ¡°Learn what you can. Don¡¯t hesitate to use the shadows if you need to, but don¡¯t waste this opportunity. They might open up to you more if we aren¡¯t here.¡±

    Prevna asked the question I didn¡¯t want to voice, ¡°Will you be fine?¡±

    Mishtaw nodded back, eyes clear and cutting. ¡°We¡¯ll learn their numbers and bring in more Peacekeepers if we need to. Be smart, be safe.¡±

    We echoed her last phrase back to her before she turned and walked over to rejoin the interrogation of the spokesman. A short while later, one of the watchers edged around the group to reach us. She looked to be around Prevna¡¯s age, maybe a year or two older, dirty blonde hair, tall and lanky, a bone stud sticking out of her nose. I immediately didn¡¯t like her.

    She gestured to the trees beyond the bloody hand mark. ¡°I¡¯m supposed to take you to camp. Show you around.¡± Her gaze couldn¡¯t quite settle on me as I glowered at her but she latched onto Prevna¡¯s slight smile. ¡°I¡¯m Jika.¡±

    I settled a bit more into my glower, only letting up to my previous intensity when Prevna slung an arm around my shoulders and introduced us. ¡°Prevna, and this is Gimley. You might not believe me but that look is a sign of affection.¡±

    Jika clearly didn¡¯t believe her. Prevna let her arm drop back down when I shifted and crossed my arms, but I stopped trying to scare the other girl into running away. Better that than take the chance she might take Prevna¡¯s words at face value, even if I did note Prevna didn¡¯t mention affection for who.

    Jika led us through the trees, seemingly eager to get her assignment over with. It didn¡¯t take us long to come upon a small camp of a dozen or so tents, two cook fires, and what looked like most of the band working on a variety of chores in the daylight. She explained that their band, the Red Hand, was made of three main family groups and where we could set up our tent before she scurried away to explain everything again to everyone else.

    I ignored the stares and got to work setting up the tent with Prevna. Neither of us enjoyed the thought of being left behind with a bunch of people we didn¡¯t know, but this was hardly the first time this had happened either. Mishtaw expected that we could handle ourselves, and not all the times we had watched the squad¡¯s things had been alone out in the wilderness. Most people didn¡¯t really distinguish between us and the whisper women because of the black lips but sometimes they were more willing to talk to Prevna and sometimes I overheard things. Just like they¡¯d often seek out Creed and Petra to give information to instead of confronting Mishtaw or Eliss.

    It didn¡¯t take us long to get the tent in place though or to store our things securely inside. Which was when I caught Prevna absently touching her lips as she glanced towards the camp just beyond the tent flap.

    ¡°Does it still bother you?¡± The question slipped out before I could bite it back. Of course it did. Changing her lips to shadow black had been akin to me cutting off my healer¡¯s beads. Even if she still smiled more easily than me.

    She gave me a knowing smile but it was more pinched than normal. ¡°It¡¯s¡­odd. Some things are exactly as I remember them, but they use some different phrases here¡ªI¡¯m glad I could follow along well enough during the Exchange. And we don¡¯t use marks in the hills, but Milwa told me about them, pointed them out when we would come down to trade in this region.¡±

    I looked at her, shocked. ¡°You¡¯d travel all the way down to the Cut from the Folds?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°We¡¯d go where there were resources and we didn¡¯t have a shelter spot to go to every cold season, so sometimes we¡¯d range farther than the tribes do.¡±

    ¡°And the storms?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯d make do.¡±

    It hit me then how little I had considered what Prevna must have been through as part of a Picker band. They wouldn¡¯t have had the shelter of Grislander¡¯s Maw or other shelters, not even for the changing of the seasons, because the tribes that made use of them would have kept them out. I paled a little further as I considered what the spokesmen had said about two band members dying and the clear lack of a Grandmother in the band.

    ¡°What did he mean by that those two had ¡®gone on to their second life¡¯?¡±

    Her features pinched further together as she sat back with a sigh. ¡°Blood speakers don¡¯t abandon their tribes, and our prayers don¡¯t reach the goddess or Her whisper women on their own. Whisper women don¡¯t carry the Carver¡¯s Mazes to us like I hear they do in the tribes. So we¡ªthe bands¡ªwould spend four days mourning and honor the dead¡¯s second life on the fifth when they rise again.¡±

    I didn¡¯t make her elaborate. That was the true horror of being turned out from the tribes. Years of struggle for survival only to become a shamble man in the end. No chance to enter the Silver Forest or be sent off in a proper funeral pyre. Instead it sounded like Prevna had seen multiple people, people she had known, transform into something horrible.

    She pressed her thumb to her lips again. ¡°Bone to bone.¡±

    I swallowed.

    Bone gray lips to bone gray skin, like a hint or a promise of what they couldn¡¯t escape.

    Except for Prevna. Who mourned the loss of those lips even as it meant she had gone from being doomed to turn into¡­one of the goddess¡¯s truest children to being one of Her blessed chosen.

    Not that I couldn¡¯t understand to some extent given the beads I still wished were in my hair despite the pain they had brought¡ªand a bitter, very quiet part of me whispered that in the end, no matter what we did we were Her servants anyway. Black lips or gray skin.

    All we could really do was try to end up on the better side of the scale.

 Book 4 - Ch. 6: Prevna and the Pickers

    I couldn¡¯t settle in the Picker band¡¯s camp. Everything was so close to being normal¡­and yet not. The setting was the most familiar. The tents and the cook fires, the sounds of people knapping stone and carving bone, the background murmur of gossip, the smell of smoke and sweat and leather, the stares and quiet distance between me and everyone else. That was fine, manageable, expected. Things at the Seedling Palace had been the same¡ªwith a more beautiful, surreal backdrop.

    The difference came with the people. The way items easily exchanged hands or a woman would step in to tend to the cooking when a child distracted the cook. The lack of separation between huntresses and tribes folk and religion; instead of three leaders there was only one. They shifted from skill to skill with little focus on mastery. I watched one person go from knapping to minding the children while teaching them about the goddess and Her temper before they left with a hunting party. It made my head spin never being quite sure if the people I was observing would follow the steps I knew or veer off somewhere completely unexpected.

    Being surrounded by gray lips didn¡¯t help either. Logically, I knew the Pickers wouldn¡¯t beat me up and steal from me; not with Mishtaw¡¯s warning or our bargain in place. Not when Prevna had told me story after story that made it clear Pickers were ordinary people who didn¡¯t just sit waiting to ambush whatever unlucky tribe across their path. Not with Prevna being the one I could trust most.

    But with years and years of being told how terrible Pickers were and the times they had ransacked the tribe, it was difficult focus solely on logic. To completely quell the unease that came from being in an unknown place with unknown people. I wished we could leave and continue the search for the relic, but I couldn¡¯t deny that this band seemed to have the information we needed.

    Prevna took to it all like a fish to water. She made her way through the camp as the afternoon wore on to evening, stopping over this person¡¯s craftsmanship or that person¡¯s unique way of doing something. The handful of children were drawn to her like moths to a flame and wasn¡¯t long before she was pulled into a game of hide and seek. And the longer she spent playing with the kids the more the adults relaxed around her as well. No one approached me to play, though Prevna gave me a questioning look at one point. I shook my head and stayed where I was outside our tent. She could have her fun without me ruining the mood.

    Still, it was satisfying to see the exact moment each of the band members went from viewing her as an intimidating whisper woman¡¯s apprentice to seeing past the black lips and weapons. To seeing Prevna, herself. Outgoing, relentless, never without a teasing word or look. One by one they fell to her unique kind of charm and I couldn¡¯t blame them for it. Not when she done the same to me¡ªeven if I had held out longer than a single afternoon.

    There was only one thing that tempted me to plant myself in the middle of camp¡ªso I couldn¡¯t be ignored¡ªand possibly ruin all of her hard work. Jika kept hovering around her more and more until they got to talking and then there was laughter. Which didn¡¯t matter because Prevna talked and joked with everyone. Even if Jika was closer in age and height and could understand her background better than I ever could. Even if the most I ever got out of Prevna was a chuckle.

    I scowled down at the throwing stones and sling I was busying myself with inspecting. Prevna wouldn¡¯t appreciate me trying to control who she hung out with. We¡¯d be leaving soon, a handful of days at most as long as the Fang band situation went as expected, and Jika would stay behind. Not me.

    Prevna crouched in front of me as the Picker band was getting ready to serve the evening meal. ¡°Stop sulking and come eat.¡±

    I started bundling my things back where they belonged. ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±

    She just gave me a long, knowing look. ¡°Before you say we should eat our provisions, I¡¯m going to remind you that a hot meal tastes better and this will help our supplies last. Besides, Harup offered and everyone is more willing to talk during a meal.¡±

    I opened my mouth to protest that I hadn¡¯t been about to suggest that when I realized it had been hovering as an option in the back of my mind. I pressed my lips together and glared off to the side.

    I still saw her roll her eyes. ¡°You do this with every new group we meet.¡±

    I wanted to deny that too but, somehow, pointing out the one or two times I hadn¡¯t allowed myself to settle comfortably on the side to watch made it feel like I¡¯d be proving her point for her.

    So, instead, I huffed out a breath and said, ¡°Fine. For the mission.¡±

    ¡°For the mission.¡± Prevna grinned back at me before she pulled me to my feet and led me over to the right cooking fire.

    We were served first. The Picker band didn¡¯t have cushions to sit on but they did have mats made out long woven grass and pine needles. Prevna claimed one and, when I sat next to her, made sure our knees were touching. I shot her a look that said I didn¡¯t need to be babied, she raised her eyebrows back at me, and when Jika sat on a mat across the fire I didn¡¯t shift away. Prevna smiled again like she had won something and then it was my turn to roll my eyes at her.

    The food was good. Roasted tubers and more leafy plants mixed with bits of rabbit meat. Prevna praised the cook¡¯s skill for the meal and I added just enough agreement that they wouldn¡¯t think she was lying.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    At first the band was hesitant to talk in front of me but once they decided I was more interested in the food than judging what they had to say the conversation flowed easier. It ranged from common everyday problems to speculation about the Fang band.

    Prevna waited until someone mentioned their next trip up the mountain to push the conversation to where we wanted it to go. ¡°Do you often trade with the band in the fog?¡±

    The speaker, an older woman who looked slightly embarrassed to have so easily brought up the topic, nodded. ¡°Every three or so weeks to at least check in the warm season. We¡¯re supposed to go back soon.¡±

    ¡°They probably thought we were you then when they signaled us a couple nights ago.¡± The band members carefully didn¡¯t confirm or deny Prevna¡¯s statement. ¡°Do others know your schedule?¡±

    The woman shrugged. ¡°We haven¡¯t told the other bands but they might have noticed.¡±

    Harup, who turned out to be the spokesman Prevna had bargained with and the band leader¡¯s partner, broke into the conversation. ¡°All but the Fangs know better than to repurpose what we trade.¡±

    Prevna asked, ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯d be stealing from their sons.¡± His answer was harsh, pointed.

    The band leader, Nerco, patted him on the arm and added, ¡°And they know better than to anger the inner valleys¡¯ master.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s eyebrows drew together. ¡°Master?¡±

    Nerco set her empty bowl down. ¡°Aye, mistress. Have you not heard how these mountains got their name?¡±

    Prevna didn¡¯t need to look at me to know I was itching to hear the tale. She smiled back at the band leader. ¡°I thought it was from they looked. Broken spears jutting into the sky?¡±

    Nerco shook her head. ¡°There¡¯s some resemblance yes, but that¡¯s not the tale that¡¯s passed from generation to generation, band to band, in these parts.¡±

    Despite Nerco¡¯s obvious lead into asking for the story Prevna pressed, ¡°And it¡¯s not because of some war? I thought there was story about a war where all the spears were broken in the end as a sign of peace?¡±

    I could have elbowed her in the side. I refrained, and held my tongue, only because I knew that if I drew attention back to me they might remember they were sharing more information than they needed to.

    Nerco shook her head again. ¡°No, mistress. Perhaps you¡¯ve heard of a beast of wing and scale that inhabits the mountains?¡±

    Prevna finally relented on her bit of torture. She even went as far as tapping her finger to her chin. ¡°I have heard some whispers of such a beast. Is that the master you spoke of?¡±

    Nerco seemed relieved that Prevna had at least heard that much and we hadn¡¯t shown up completely clueless. ¡°Aye. The Dawn Crawler. It¡¯s said the beast might have lived since the Era of Night. All spears break upon his hide and darkness never fully touches his scales.¡±

    Then she launched into the tale she¡¯d been hinting at like she afraid that if she took too long Prevna would go back to her stalling tactics. I wasn¡¯t sure why the goddess would allow a creature like that to live, but I also assumed that if She truly wanted to She¡¯d have no trouble enveloping the Dawn Crawler in darkness.

    Apparently, the master of the inner valleys had been born from a lake of fire so hot and so bright that even being near it could burn your skin and blind your eyes. At first it had been content in its home and enjoyed day after day in its impossible lake, but then tribes were drawn to the source of light and heat. They had suffered under the endless dark of night and the goddess¡¯s relentless punishment. But here was a place where they didn¡¯t need to scrounge for firewood to light or warmth. Here they had a lake of fire, never dying, just waiting to be used. More and more tribes were drawn to the beacon in the dark. At first they were timid of the creature. They gave it offerings to thank it for sharing its home and bounty. The tribes lived, they thrived, they fought. They fought over who could access the lake and its surrounding resources, resources that were quickly getting stripped bare from the surplus of people. They fought until someone had the idea that whoever controlled the monster in the lake could control all the tribes. They tried to capture the Dawn Crawler while it was feasting on offered prey. Spears broke, nets burned, and the creature rampaged. No tribe was safe, no one could stay near the lake. They fled from the inner valleys and prayed that the beast did not follow.

    Nerco closed the tale by saying, ¡°The Dawn Crawler calmed after the tribes fled its home and it lived in peace, year after year, to this day.¡±

    Prevna cocked her head to the side. ¡°How do you know the Dawn Crawler still lives? And why would it tolerate the band you trade with? What about the fog?¡±

    Nerco laughed. ¡°So many questions. Tales for another time, perhaps.¡± She gave us a questioning look of her own. ¡°Mayhap if you a tale of your own I could remember one for you.¡±

    Ah, so that was it. I smiled despite myself. They were eager for tales and, perhaps even news, that they hadn¡¯t heard before. Something they hadn¡¯t told time and time again, and what better way than to bait that path forward with a tale Nerco knew we¡¯d want to hear?

    Prevna shifted and laid back so her head rested on my leg, waving for me to take the lead. I couldn¡¯t quite decide between glaring at her and fighting the blush that crawled up my neck to my cheeks. She had assumed the same posture before when I told stories to pass the time, but that had always been when we were alone¡ªand just once during the last Warming of the Winds when we were all drunk on Nil¡¯s nectar and no one in Esie¡¯s group thought twice about physical contact.

    It definitely wasn¡¯t when a whole band of people were staring at us and suddenly looking like they were coming to conclusions about something that wasn¡¯t true. I almost had Prevna get back up, but that would have caused even more of a spectale, so I settled on glaring at Prevna, and then at everyone else, before drawing on a calming breath to tell my own tale. It was fair exchange and I could trade one mountain monster for another.

    I told them the tale of Grislander¡¯s Maw. The gargantuan beast given life by wishes and brought low by the goddess Herself and her trees. No one had expected me to be the one to tell the tale that Nerco had fished for, but it didn¡¯t take me long to lull them into the story. To lead them into gasping at the right places and have them leaning forward for more. This was one I knew by heart and it was enjoyable to bring others into the experience.

    A few more tales were swapped that night as well as some news from within the Cut and beyond, but Nerco refused to share the tales that held likely held more information about the inner valleys and the fog, the tribe that lived there, or the Dawn Crawler. It seemed those would be things we¡¯d have to spend time longer with the band to earn.

 Book 4 - Ch. 7: Dreams

    Hands wrapped around my throat, monstrously big and long. Not choking but¡­cloying. Forcing me to watch as the mystical plant I saw while gaining the dark sight boon was plucked and shredded by invisible fingers. Long thin leaves and tiny delicate petals disappearing into the dark. Destroying its potential without a care in the world.

    I knew I should I slip free from whoever was holding me in place. Their grip wasn¡¯t tight. But I couldn¡¯t move¡ªit was as if, if I did, I would be the one shredded to nothing next.

    A voice somewhere between a rustle of leaves, a rockfall, and the sigh of wind spoke in my ear. Something entirely unnatural even if it was made from natural things. ¡°What do you strive for? What do you wish for?¡±

    Plants and using my knowledge. Healing.

    Disappointment. ¡°Is that all?¡±

    The hands tightened. Their points pricked my skin and¡ª

    My eyes snapped open to take in the ceiling of the tent I shared with Prevna. I tensed further waiting for her to shift, murmur for me to stop being such a restless sleeper, but her breathing stayed even and slow. I hadn¡¯t woken her this time.

    I let out a silent breath and took stock. Not a memory or a dream. A¡­nightmare, though it had felt both more real and focused than a normal one. It certainly wasn¡¯t fading as I woke up like a normal dream did. I rubbed a hand over one cheek where the pointed fingers had bit into flesh but the skin was smooth, without injury.

    Just a nightmare then. Perhaps one of realistic nightmares the Broken Spear Mountains were famous for. The ones that were strong enough to kill. I smirked a bit at that. The mountains weren¡¯t the best at picking targets it seemed.

    I glanced back over at where Prevna was sprawled out on her half of the tent, one foot pressed up against my leg and it seemed like her hand had barely missed hitting me in face when she stretched out. If I was the restless sleeper, then she was the one who needed the space of two people to feel comfortable. She always tried to keep to her own side, a bit of space between us, even after I let her know I¡¯d be fine, but inevitably her limbs would go every which way throughout the night. Sometimes it seemed like she craved the comfort of touch even in her sleep, sometimes I just thought it was a side effect of her height.

    It didn¡¯t remotely seem like she was having a nightmare.

    I eyed the tent entrance next but Prevna would definitely notice if I got up and I wasn¡¯t sure I wanted to brave the band of Pickers on my own in the middle of the night. So I laid still, unable to fall back sleep or stop looping the nightmare through my mind, trying to figure out why it felt important, why it had consisted of what it did, how I could free myself of it if it happened again in the future. Like I would when a memory overtook me.

    That didn¡¯t as much anymore, thankfully. I had gotten better at managing the triggers, at noticing when I was in a memory and then working myself free of it. Prevna helped. She had her own little set of tools now that she used when she thought I might be slipping or to help me come back to reality. I hadn¡¯t asked her for the help, would have preferred if she never had to worry about it, but I couldn¡¯t deny that it did make a difference.

    What did I strive for? What did I wish?

    For things I could no longer have.

    The speaker in the dream hadn¡¯t liked that answer but what else was there?

    I had always longed for healing and gaining more knowledge about its techniques, the plants, and, eventually, the stories she had made me learn in exchange. I did what I did now because I had no other choice. I had to become a whisper woman¡ªfor spite, for power, because accepting a shamble man¡¯s curse sounded like a worse version of what I already had to deal with.

    I wasn¡¯t striving for anything except not to fail. My teeth ground together at that thought. It ate me in a way I didn¡¯t like because I wasn¡¯t sure there was anything I could do about it. Perhaps that was all the nightmare was, a manifestation of the stress and anxiety choking me over what I couldn¡¯t have and didn¡¯t know what I was heading towards. Nothing to do with the mountains at all.

    I hadn¡¯t told Prevna about the visions I¡¯d had while gaining the dark sight boon. She hadn¡¯t even hinted at anything like it either. From what I could tell, no one else had seen anything during the trial or they were all keeping surprising tight lipped, like me. Then again, the visions did feel like something private, something between just me and the goddess, and that letting anyone else know about them would be breaking some fundamental understanding between us that had been promised when She gave the unexpected challenge. I didn¡¯t want to learn what the consequences would be for breaking a promise to the goddess, even one I didn¡¯t know I was making, not when She held them in such high esteem.

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    Perhaps that held true for everyone. If it was, then the only way I¡¯d learn if anyone else had seen something was a blatantly broken promise or a unique bit of happenstance.

    I held in a sigh. I was getting nowhere with letting the thoughts spin around my head. So I closed my eyes and forced myself to work through my memory tent, object by object, decluttering memories I no longer needed to have and polishing up others until the nightmare lost the hold it had on my focus and I was able to drift off to sleep.

    - -

    The next two days passed peacefully as Prevna and I adapted to the Red Hand¡¯s rhythms.   We helped them with a variety of tasks, Prevna always leading the charge. It gained us more good will and stopped training from being the only thing we could do to stave off boredom.

    We did draw a crowd whenever we did practice though. Slings, spears, hand to hand, whip and knife. The kids would watch with wide eyes as we went through forms and stances, had a handful of practice bouts. The adults would watch a little more sidelong. Most of them had some skill with a sling out of sheer necessity but it was clear they weren¡¯t to seeing those properly trained.

    Mishtaw had little patience for those with weapons but not the proper skills to wield them. So as soon we had been brought under her wing she had stomped all over Jin¡¯s approach of ¡®sit back and berate¡¯ and had, instead, worked with us to build on what we knew. She also promptly pointed out and stopped any bad habits we were developing. We went from haphazard training to clear things we were supposed to work on on our own and together as well as steps to follow for each.

    For now my focus was on being able to switch between weapons without losing them or creating an opening for an enemy to attack me. Prevna¡¯s was to prove that her whip could be useful while polishing her skills with sling and spear. Otherwise, Mishtaw was determined to have her switch her specialty weapon.

    Whisper women didn¡¯t necessarily need to know a third weapon as slings and spears covered most fighting that wasn¡¯t hand to hand as well as hunting, but it had become the norm as a mark of privilege. A symbol that whisper women had both the time and resources to devote to a specialty weapon while huntresses and normal tribes folk didn¡¯t. Perhaps they could have trained with a knife, but it was considered one of the extra weapons as most people didn¡¯t want use what they ate with to fight¡ªand if you had time to pick something a spear would be the more helpful choice. I liked having all three of weapons with me without feeling like I was carrying anything extra or pointless.

    We kept more strategic practice private and neglected practicing shadow walking. It wouldn¡¯t be good to let the band know or be able to copy everything we knew. Nor did we want to scare them off with the reminder of the more mystical side of whisper women and their apprentices.

    Still, for all our hard work Nerco and her band had become reticent with their information after that first evening meal. Like she had given us a tidbit to let us know she had what we needed, to lead us on, and she and her band were biding their time for the others to return. Sometimes we got bits and pieces: the tribe in the fog being referred to as ¡°our sons¡± or ¡°our brothers¡±, the way a good portion of the band would disappear every day but it didn¡¯t seem like they were hunting and everyone got evasive when we asked what they were doing or where they were. I had more than half a mind to slip after them soon but we stood out to much for the band not to notice if one us had disappeared. Once, when I was rolling the seeds we had found between my fingers, Harup had started like he was surprised to see what I was holding but he brushed it off as a bug biting him when I tried to press him. I still kept up the tactic in case one of the other tribe members weren¡¯t quite as good at covering their reaction.

    Part of me wished we could throw our weight around a bit more. That I could twist words and trip the other person up into the giving the answer I wanted, but I also couldn¡¯t ignore the concern of ruining our only lead by pushing too hard, too fast. So we bided our time, waiting for Mishtaw and the others to return, and I kept tight lips around my growing frustration.

    Once again I wished we had gained the boon to speak on the wind. If we had we could have checked in with the others, let them know about our progress and learn how they were dealing with the death bringers. Apparently, the conditions for earning the boon weren¡¯t right and they couldn¡¯t be rushed.

    We just had to wait. And wait. For that skill and this bit of information and anything else remotely helpful. Nothing to actively work towards. Nothing to strive for.

    My teeth ground together.

    I did my best to ignore the injured. A young woman with a gash down one arm and across her chest, poorly bandaged. A man not much older with another poorly bandaged puncture wound in his stomach and fever sweat. An old man with a cough that rattled his body. My fingers itched to do all the simple fixes that could save them, but the rest of me couldn¡¯t forget the bone chilling cold of being frozen, unable to sleep or breathe.

    The band and Prevna and me stepped around each other, each trying to gain more information without giving before the whole tiresome dance was taken out of our hands. The old man had collapsed and from what I could tell the younger man wasn¡¯t far from following his example. I couldn¡¯t stand the stasis any longer.

    I rounded on Prevna in our tent. ¡°You said they¡¯d provide further assistance if we took their injured to a healer? We aren¡¯t gaining anything here.¡±

    She raised her hands in defense. ¡°The others¡ª¡±

    ¡°Are likely making the way safer. We can make it to the healer.¡±

    Prevna cocked her head to the side like she was caught somewhere between amusement and admiration. ¡°I think Harup was expecting to have the others when he made the offer. They might not think we can make good on the deal.¡±

    ¡°Their injured might as well already be dead if we don¡¯t try.¡± I couldn¡¯t budge on this.

    Her smile widened. ¡°Then we try.¡± She leaned forward. ¡°Softie.¡±

    I was still spluttering denials as Prevna exited the tent to share our decision with Nerco.

 Book 4 - Ch. 8: On the Way to Recovery

    The mountainside was still eerily silent as we dragged the injured closer to recovery. No bird calls, only some rustling of leaves that couldn¡¯t be accounted for by the wind, and the soft grinding scrape of two travois being pulled over dirt and stone and grass. Either the Picker bands were hunting the wildlife to nothing or there was some other mystery to the mountains we hadn¡¯t learned yet.

    I didn¡¯t particularly want either option to be true. We already had the threat of death bringers, sleep inducing fog, and a possible monster living in a lake of fire. Though if it was overhunting that could draw the ire of the Beastwatchers or the goddess Herself. And that was ignoring the more mundane problem of not having enough to eat because the animals couldn¡¯t reproduce quicker than they were being killed off.

    Neither option was something I could solve right now, if the bands would even listen to an outsider, but they nagged at the back of my mind all the same. Instead, what I could do was put one foot in front of the other and keep an eye out for any murderous idiot who might jump us for daring to step into their territory.

    Nerco hadn¡¯t wanted to let us go, but between Prevna¡¯s persuasive persistence and her people¡¯s condition she hadn¡¯t had much choice. Either she let us take the injured or they¡¯d be as good as dead by the time Mishtaw and the others returned. If she had kept us back and sent the injured regardless, they would have been in the same predicament that had gotten Harup to ask for help in the first place: choosing between leaving the camp or the injured vulnerable. And if they sent all of their best with the injured they¡¯d be more likely to lose them completely in a bad fight.

    So really it was a decision between possibly saving the injured and almost certainly delivering the people the band depended on to survive to be killed. Before we had pushed the issue Nerco had settled on hoping the injured would recover on their own.

    We had three band members with us besides the injured. Way too many to pull into the shadows with us even if Prevna and I had been better at it than most whisper women. Harup dragged the travois with the old man who switched between sounded like he was going to cough out a lung to nearly catatonic. Another large man, Emre, who looked similar to Harup, dragged the other travois with the fever ridden younger man. The injured woman stumbled along behind them with gritted teeth and as little movement jostling her arm as she could manage. I learned her name was Kuma. The last band member that had been sent along with us for some unfortunate reason was¡­Jika.

    She ranged a little ahead so at least I didn¡¯t have to watch her sidle up to Prevna, but I still thought that practically any other band member could have acted as guide¡ªif we even needed one in the first place since Harup, Emre, and Kuma had all visited the other band before. I couldn¡¯t say if that was true for the other two injured since they didn¡¯t have energy to waste on speaking.

    All in all it had typically taken them around half a day to travel to the healer before the Fangs stole territory from between the two Picker bands. Now it could take half again as long as they tried to slip beneath the Fangs¡¯ notice. Silence and careful movements would be needed to not give ourselves away, but I wasn¡¯t sure we could manage it between the old man¡¯s coughing fits and the travois.

    The mountainside¡¯s silence amplified every little noise we made, but our silence also seemed to deepen the silence around us. No one spoke. We used simple gestures when we had to and that was it. Quiet so absolute it weighed on you, the occasional gesture, and the knowledge that if we made the wrong move people could end up dead.

    The Fangs¡¯ wedge of the forested mountainside didn¡¯t look any different from the Red Hands¡¯ except that the border had been marked by teeth. Dangling from branches, perched on roots. I didn¡¯t look too close but it wasn¡¯t a stretch to realize they weren¡¯t all from beasts.

    I wasn¡¯t sure if it was good or bad sign that they seemed to know they shouldn¡¯t truly flaunt what they were doing. If they had thrown that they were taking the goddess¡¯s domain for themselves in the goddess¡¯s face then they likely would have already been taken care of between Her wrath and Her Peacekeepers. But if they had done that, the damage likely wouldn¡¯t have been contained to just their band. Like with the southwestern region that had fire taken away for a single tree being burned, the whole area could have been condemned as an example for the rest of Her territory.

    It still could be.

    Those teeth could be insult enough.

    Finding a balance between speed and stealth provided practically impossible. Every minute was another chance for the old man to cough, every burst of movement to reach the healer quicker another chance for the Fangs¡¯ to hear something else that didn¡¯t belong to the forest. Nor did it help that we froze more than once at a rustle or other small noise, trying to determine if it was harmless or the smallest of warning before an attack.

    The air grew warmer as the sun rose high overhead but we didn¡¯t stop for a midday meal and it didn¡¯t grow so hot that we could forget the goddess¡¯s cold. She always had some kind of reminder between a chill wind or a cool shadow even during the middle of the warm season. The air was refreshing as well with the smell of pine and sap.

    I didn¡¯t find it refreshing that death bringers could leap out at us at any moment. I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that we were as likely to hear them as they were to hear us in the quiet, even though that wasn¡¯t strictly true.

    Before we had crossed the line of teeth, Jika had murmured that it had taken them a couple hours to sneak around the band¡¯s patrols and out the other side of their territory before, but they had only one mostly mobile injured person then. I had expected it to take longer¡ªand it did¡ªbut what we hadn¡¯t expected was the lack of patrols.

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    It should have been a relief but, instead, it became an ever growing strain. Had we somehow missed them? Had the Peacekeepers¡¯ censure drawn them away or scared them into submission? Were they following us even now? Waiting for the perfect moment to strike?

    I glanced over my shoulder more times than I¡¯d like to admit. Prevna bumped shoulders with me once when she caught me at it, along with a tight smile, but I could tell the worry ate at her too.

    Silence and stillness where it shouldn¡¯t be. I could feel the memories of traveling through the thick fog on the shore pulling at me but I grounded myself in the moment with the smell of pine and how far out I could see between the trees. The different way I moved and the lack of Prevna¡¯s hand tugging me along. No sand or cloying white mist to be found.

    Shouting. A scream. Something moving fast with little care for snapped twigs or clattering pebbles.

    We froze, glancing at each other. According to Jika we were near the border. Run for the border and hope whoever it was didn¡¯t follow us? Hide and hope they didn¡¯t see us? The old man sputtered out a breath and before he could cough out his next one we were moving. Stealth, trying not to jostle the injured, none of it mattered now. Someone was coming and, like as not, they¡¯d have no problem with trying to kill us when we couldn¡¯t fight with the same abandon.

    Prevna and Jika pulled ahead with their long legs but the rest of us couldn¡¯t match them. Kuma was pale and looked ready to faint from the pain of trying to run with her injuries, the men had the weight of two other full grown men dragging them down and the travois could be awkward to run with. Perhaps I could have caught up with Prevna. I wanted to. But some part of me, the part that been conditioned for a whole childhood, refused to leave behind my charges. Doing so would have meant failure and ruin and punishment.

    Nothing I could abide.

    Whatever was crashing through the forest got closer. Closer. Movement out of the corner of my eye.

    I glanced over to see a woman, red smeared over her face, coming over a small rise barely fifteen feet away. She saw me in the same moment and her gaze caught on my black lips. She screeched.

    Others came over the rise as she darted for me. Two figures, three, five¡­I couldn¡¯t pay attention to if there was more as I ducked away from the knife the woman plunged at my face. I used her momentum to trip her and send her sprawling. She barely missed the travois as she hit the ground and Kuma kicked her in the side as she stepped past to keep running.

    I followed after as I pulled my spear free. It had a heft I could use to bludgeon our attackers and was easier to control than sling and stone while moving. A man came after me next and I whacked him in the knee before slamming the butt of my spear into his chest as he stumbled. He went down wheezing. I silently thanked Mishtaw for training me in how to fight more than monstrous fish.

    A different man charged Emre from the side and sent them both stumbling into Harup. He got tangled up in the travois and all of them went down. Cries of pain and grunts of effort came from the pile of bodies and poles but before I could start forward to help fingers curled around my braid and yanked backwards. A line of fire scraped along my back as I twisted to shove my spear in my attacker¡¯s stomach. The first woman. I hit her again in the breast and she released my braid as she stumbled back. The haft of my spear connected with her temple and she dropped unconscious. I snatched up her knife this time and shoved it in my belt so she couldn¡¯t nearly plunge a knife in my back again.

    I glanced over the battlefield. Prevna and Jika were fending three attackers, all of which seemed more focused on Prevna than the Picker girl. Kuma was trying to help the two injured men from their ties to the travois while Harup and Emre wrestled with two attackers trying to knife them.

    A seventh attacker was slipping from behind a tree to attack Kuma from behind. Storming coward.

    ¡°Kuma!¡±

    She turned to look at me, but she wouldn¡¯t be quick enough to completely dodge her attacker. I threw my spear. The attacker flinched back even though it would have missed by a good inch even he hadn¡¯t. I wished that much distance had been intentional, but his flinch gave Kuma the time she needed to turn on her knees and lash out with her good arm. His nose crunched as I sprinted towards them. Kuma cried out and recoiled as her injuries protested the quick movement. The man spat blood and lunged for her throat, knife still in hand.

    One step, two. I was there. I tried to knock his hand aside, pull his arm back. He elbowed me in the gut. My turn to lose my breath as he went back for the kill. Kuma tried to dodge but she¡¯d be too slow. I let myself collapse so I could slip under the attacker¡¯s arm and shove her down.

    Something plunged into my shoulder blade. I screamed and elbowed the man in the head. I took the moment he took to shake his head to locate what I needed. A shadow. Dark enough and big enough for two in a crook of roots.

    Prevna and I could take each other in and out of the dark shadows most of the time. I had successfully taken Mishtaw into the shadow paths a handful of times.

    This was different.

    I didn¡¯t care.

    The attacker needed to be gone.

    I elbowed him again. Kneed him in the jaw as he dropped to one knee. Then I grabbed a fistful of his hair and stomped down on the shadow.

    The path didn¡¯t want to open. It tried to make me think it was a tent flap that was two small for two people our size, tied shut with dozens of knots. I didn¡¯t care. That wasn¡¯t the image I needed it to be. I needed it to be the depths of a lake, deep and dark and impassive to any fools who sank into the water. That was the reality. The path. Water flooded over leather and rope in my mind and there was the sinking, gravity shifting sensation of entering the shadow paths.

    The attacker threw up and I hesitated. Hazy smoke and the oil slick floor all around us. All the warnings I had heard to never let go of a whisper woman¡¯s hand in the shadow paths rose up in my mind. Warnings¡­and a promise. If he hadn¡¯t tried to knife me again I¡¯m not sure if I would have pulled him back out or left him there.

    But he did and I released his hair to shift backwards. Maybe I could have grabbed him again, but he needed to be gone. I stomped down on the oil slick floor and the next thing I knew I was back in the sunlit forest. Alone.

    Pain was starting to flare and burn from my shoulder, blood causing my tunic to stick to my skin and pull, but I ignored it in favor of the sounds of fighting.

    Prevna and Jika had put two of their attackers down though they both had blood more blood on them than I would have liked. Their last attacker didn¡¯t look like she¡¯d be up for much longer. Harup was pounding into a man on the ground while Emre lay nearby, not moving. I wasn¡¯t sure if he was dead or unconscious. Other attackers were also down while Kuma was staring at me from where she was still crouched next to the two wounded men.

    I smiled back at her, though I think it turned into more of a grimace, as I forced my focus on what has happening in front of me instead of what I had done. There was little I could do about it now.

    Prevna¡¯s opponent yelled as Prevna snaked out a hand and brushed a finger against her throat. Then the attacker was on the ground and no longer a worry. I pulled some rope free from my belt and set about tying up the other attackers so we wouldn¡¯t have any other surprises.

 Book 4 - Ch. 9: Silent Communication

    Kuma kept staring at me as I tied up one attacker and then another before she shook herself and hurried over to Emre. My hands itched to do the same, but I kept tying up attackers to keep them busy. Whether he was injured or dead there was nothing I could do. Not unless I really wanted to test if being frozen solid had been a fluke or the goddess¡¯s punishment¡ªand I doubted I¡¯d get such a lenient punishment a second time.

    Prevna had set about tying up the attackers near her so we had nearly all of their wrists bound to two different ropes by the time we heard something new. A sniffle followed by a low rustle. We froze and glanced at each other. When I checked on the Picker band members, it seemed like they were too busy focusing on their injuries and each other to have heard. Jika was supporting the old man, who was starting up another coughing fit, and while Harup and Kuma were focused on Emre and the injured younger man seemed content to lay where he was.

    Prevna nodded at me and I nodded back. She quickly got the sixth and last attacker tied to the end of her rope. Three a piece given that the seventh was lost somewhere in the shadow paths. Then we made sure that all of their knives were in a pile out of reach before we finally eased toward the sounds we¡¯d heard. But it was better to finish our work than leave our backs open for another bloody surprise.

    I let Prevna take the lead as she slipped around the rise the attackers had run down. She had the advantage between experience and skill when it came to stealth. The only noise came from the coughing old man as she stepped carefully over the pine needles littering the forest¡¯s floor. She waited until I flanked the area we thought the noise had come from. A larger pine tree. Not the best place to hide when whoever was there hadn¡¯t climbed up into the branches but the wider trunk could do in a pinch. Like when you came upon unexpected enemies you thought you¡¯d kill in a few minutes.

    Prevna darted her hand around the trunk and twin shrieks pierced the air. A small shape took off in the opposite direction¡ªand launched itself directly into my arms. An elbow caught me in the ribs but it didn¡¯t have enough force to make me do more than grunt. We struggled for a few more seconds before we got our new charges to be still.

    I had a small boy was barely older than a toddler. He had done his best to keep his feet and hands flailing until I pinned him against my chest and growled in his ear that he¡¯d regret it if he hit me again. Then he just bawled and howled. I wasn¡¯t sure if that or the coughing was worse but nothing I did would make him shut up and I didn¡¯t have anything to gag him with.

    A girl who was likely somewhere between seven and eight was on her knees in front of Prevna. Prevna had her by the back of her collar and her hair. The girl was crying too but she didn¡¯t make a sound unlike her brother. The pair looked too similar not to be siblings between their pale hair, identical noses, and the way the girl watched the boy in my grasp.

    I wasn¡¯t surprised to hear more movement in the surrounding forest given the racket we were making but I didn¡¯t like that it came from multiple directions.

    The first, and closest sound, was from Jika as she walked around the rise to see us holding the two kids hostage. The second was the short aborted sounds of the adults we captured waking up and cursing. The last came from the direction the attackers had run from. I couldn¡¯t quite make out what it was but that didn¡¯t matter when a handful of seconds later a whisper woman stepped out of the shadow of the tree the kids had used as cover. She was followed by another woman who had to be her firestarter, given the second woman¡¯s lack of black lips and their linked hands.

    Though their attire was different from what I had come expect of whisper women and firestarters. Rather than the common swirling gray and black dress and blue overcoat, or the purely functional padded cloth coats and leather caps the whisper women and firestarters had worn to fight the fish on the shore, these two had found something between form and function, though it still had the feel of a uniform.

    They had sleeveless gambesons that had a middle split for movement but otherwise covered them down to the knees. Black braiding made the edges cleaner and contrasted with the tan colored cloth. Their waists and chests were wrapped in a variation of the huntress¡¯s protective belt. Really it was more of a paneled vest that looked like it provided more protection and flexibility. Leather guards protected their shins and forearms while lighter blue cloth covered the rest of their arms and legs. Belts full of weapons and pouches hung around their waists though they didn¡¯t wear anything to protect their heads.

    Apparently the whisper woman had paid the price for that. A large bruise was swelling her left cheek and I didn¡¯t doubt her eye would swell closed given time as well. Slash marks also marked their gear but I didn¡¯t see blood staining anything or holes torn into the cloth.

    The boy finally shut up as the whisper woman leveled her gaze on him. Then she focused on me. ¡°The undying girl?¡± The bruiser looking firestarter leaned forward to whisper something in her ear and the whisper woman added, ¡°Eliss and Mishtaw¡¯s apprentices? What are you doing here?¡±

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    Sometimes I hated being so easily identified because of the three dots on my chin. ¡°Cleaning up your mess apparently.¡±

    Prevna immediately shot me a look that said I should have known better than to start out so combative and I better start living up to her expectations now. I glared back at her for a moment before letting out a very small breath.

    ¡°We¡¯re helping the Picker band we¡¯re staying with get their injured to a healer. Otherwise they¡¯d be as good as dead.¡±

    The whisper woman didn¡¯t look like she thought that¡¯d be such a big loss and Prevna didn¡¯t like that reaction. I took that as tacit permission to lean slightly more aggressive again but I let the whisper woman speak first to see what I could needle her best with.

    ¡°You should have stayed at the camp and out of the way.¡±

    I tilted my head toward the curses coming from the other side of the small rise. ¡°I¡¯d like to think we were exactly where we needed to be given that this whole group could have holed up somewhere on the mountain if we hadn¡¯t stopped them after they escaped¡­someone else.¡± I stared pointedly at her bruised cheek.

    Logically, I knew I should be more civil, especially when Mishtaw would be likely hear of this sooner than later, but something about the way the woman had showed up with an accusing tone and the assumption she immediately got to be charge when it looked like she had been knocked over the head by the very people we had captured set my teeth on edge. She hadn¡¯t even bothered to introduce herself.

    The whisper woman gestured sharply to her firestarter. ¡°Let Sig take the children and show me the others.¡±

    The kids squirmed and did their best to try to bolt for freedom but they had absolutely no chance of success as soon as the muscled firestarter took them from us. She clasped the girl around the neck and had her walk in front while the boy was held against her chest much like I had. Prevna led the way back to where we had fought the attackers, Jika mutely stepped to the side and stared at us all, wide eyed.

    Everyone else quieted down as soon as our new group stepped into view as well. The attackers who had woken up and were struggling against their bonds stilled and Kuma took a step back from where she had apparently started keeping an eye on them. The old man had stopped coughing at some point and was laying back against his travois, exhausted. Harup slowly rose to his feet from where he had been fiddling with the other travois.

    ¡°There¡¯s only six.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    The whisper woman seemed close to losing her patience. ¡°There should be seven.¡±

    ¡°There was.¡± I gestured to the shadow I had stepped through with the man but apparently subtly wasn¡¯t this woman¡¯s strong suit.

    She spat, ¡°You let one escape?¡±

    I met her gaze for gaze. Angry glare for a cold one. ¡°No.¡±

    Prevna tried to give me another warning look out of the corner of my eye but I couldn¡¯t let my attention waver from the whisper woman.

    She stepped closer and tried to use her height to intimidate me though she wasn¡¯t much taller than average. ¡°No?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    I would have kept challenging her authority, kept going until she snapped because there was no feasible way she would have actually given into a Sprout, would have pushed because she had insulted Prevna and my capability and now that I had started the challenge I wanted to know what her breaking point was, but no one else seemed to be handling the tension nearly as well. I would have kept going anyway, but Kuma undermined our battle of wills by blurting out the truth.

    ¡°We were fighting the man and then she grabbed him by the hair and¡­disappeared. When she came back she was alone.¡±

    ¡°You¡­¡± The whisper woman closed her eyes and let out a long breath. ¡°In the paths?¡±

    Despite her reaction I kept my head high. ¡°Where else?¡±

    She let out another exasperated breath as she opened her eyes. ¡°You little fool.¡±

    Prevna had slipped up next to me and she clamped a hand on my shoulder before I did something extraordinarily stupid. Or maybe she meant to ground me, because between that woman¡¯s look and her choice of words I couldn¡¯t help but feel icy numbness crackle at my core, rising at the memories of her. Prevna¡¯s hand kept me present but it was a close thing as I heard the echoing of one of the last things she ever called me before I was abandoned. I definitely no longer had the focus to spare for going head to head with a whisper woman.

    Prevna asked the question I couldn¡¯t, ¡°Why?¡±

    The whisper woman made a sharp negating gesture. ¡°Your mentors can explain. I don¡¯t have the time or the patience.¡±

    Then a breeze rustled and her lips moved but we couldn¡¯t hear what she said. She blocked us from being able to lipread her either with on her hands. No doubt Mishtaw would soon be receiving an earful of everything the whisper woman thought we had done wrong.

    As soon as she stopped speaking on the wind, Prevna indicated the captured adults and children. ¡°What are you going to do with them?¡±

    The whisper woman glanced back at the kids. ¡°They¡¯ll go to the Seedling Palace where we can keep an eye on them. Make sure they don¡¯t take after their parents¡¯ misguided ideas.¡± She looked forward at the tied attackers. ¡°They¡¯ll get what they¡¯re due. What¡¯s necessary for peace.¡±

    Prevna didn¡¯t ask for a more detailed answer, but then again I wasn¡¯t sure she wanted one. It didn¡¯t take long before the whisper woman¡¯s head tilted as she listened to the answer the wind had brought her.

    ¡°You¡¯re to keep going to the healer¡¯s band. Your mentors will meet you there once we are finished here.¡±

    It didn¡¯t take long for it to be clear that Emre hadn¡¯t made it through the fight. Which meant we were down one of our travois carriers and had a body to transport. The Picker band members clearly felt his loss but they were keeping it together until we left enemy territory. Everyone was also injured to some extent though Prevna and Jika had gotten by with the lightest injuries. Neither the whisper woman nor the firestarter looked willing to give up their captives to help us out with the predicament.

    In the end, we got the younger man up on his feet and leaning on Kuma so they could support each other as we continued on and hopefully make all the way to the healer. Emre¡¯s body was tied onto the newly vacated travois that Harup would pull now. Prevna, Jika, and I would switch between dragging the old man along. It wouldn¡¯t be sustainable but Harup thought we were at least two thirds of the way to the healer¡¯s camp, so the hope was that we¡¯d make it through that final push without any further trouble.

 Book 4 - Ch. 10: Shadowed History

    Dragging the old man was exhausting work, and it was made worse by the knife wound in my shoulder. Thankfully, we hadn¡¯t expected to slip through the Fang¡¯s new territory unscathed so we had bandages Prevna used to at least stem the blood flow. I would have done it myself, but the wound¡¯s placement made it difficult for me tie the bandage properly on my own.

    I did take of everyone else¡¯s bandages. Made sure they were tight and secure rather than the loose draping that the clueless tended to do in case they accidentally dabbled in healing. Still, seeing the cuts and bruises and knowing all the things that could be done to help heal them properly and quickly without being able to act on the knowledge was still its own kind of torture.

    Our pace slowed without Emre to pull the second travois but Prevna, Jika, and I did our best to drag it, and the old man, in turns as fast as we could. Perhaps I should have mourned Emre for more than the lack of his utility, but the goddess took what She took and there was little the rest of us could do about it. Nor was there ignoring the fact that I had barely known his name, much less who he had been to his band or as a person.

    So we dragged and pulled and bled¡ªbandages could only hold up so well to our struggle¡ªuntil the band we had set out for came into sight. We kept on high alert for the sound of footsteps or to someone crashing through the forest like the attackers had been but the mountainside was back to its unusual silence for the most part. There were two more instances when we heard yelling or fighting in the distance but no one came sprinting toward us.

    All in all, the late afternoon sun was dipping toward the horizon by the time we finally got the healer¡¯s camp in view. A few tents crouched on top of a triangular outcropping. It was probably only about fifteen feet high but the outcropping¡¯s sides were sheer, without any good bumps or cracks to help some scale it. It also gave the band flat ground to rest on instead of the lesser incline the Red Hand tribe dealt with. The mountain also rose up at a steep angle a short ways behind the outcropping, so the only way to reach the band was two small paths that led up to either side of the outcropping¡¯s base.

    We followed that path up and around, clearly within view of the camp. As we got closer I saw that there was an opening to a cave behind the camp, so they had bit more room than just the few tents we could see. A man stood where the path ended at the camp and took us in with a stern gaze though he didn¡¯t have healer¡¯s beads.

    He spoke as our group stopped a handful of feet in front of him. ¡°All injured?¡±

    Harup shook his head slowly. ¡°One dead. We were attacked on the way over.¡±

    The man nodded back but otherwise didn¡¯t react to the news. ¡°Your band?¡±

    ¡°Red Hand.¡±

    ¡°All of you?¡± His gaze flicked to Prevna and me, our shadow black lips.

    Prevna answered, ¡°We¡¯re whisper women apprentices. Our mentors left us in the care of the Red Hand while they dealt with the death bringers.¡±

    The healer¡¯s entrance keeper looked like he had some unfavorable thoughts about that but he kept them to himself. ¡°Very well. The most injured can go in the the cave. Everyone else will wait in the guest tent. The dead rest outside. Mirabeth¡¯s orders.¡±

    Harup nodded again like he had expected all of that and the man let us pass into the camp. We set Emre¡¯s body down by the guest tent first and then helped Kuma and the younger man past the long woven strands of pine needles that had been pulled to the side¡¯s of the cave entrance to let the daylight in.

    I braced myself before I stepped across the threshold. Like I feared it smelled of herbs and poultices, smoke and sweat and blood. Precisely like a healer¡¯s domain should. Between that and the cave¡¯s low and wide interior, memories crowded at the back of my mind, tried to pull me under with the details that clearly connected past and present but I had been through a few different healer¡¯s tents since being abandoned. The sheer amount of memories was no longer enough to drown me, though it was interesting that this cave was the one I found most reminiscent of her healing tent. Perhaps it was just due to that pompous whisper woman¡¯s comment.

    An old thin woman with frizzy hair and wiry muscles knelt over a injured woman laying on a mat on the cave¡¯s floor. The old woman was checking the woman¡¯s leg which had clearly been broken but was now set and wrapped tight. Even though I couldn¡¯t see her beads from this angle there was little doubt that the old woman was the healer.

    Another dark skinned woman was spoon feeding a boy across the cave but she didn¡¯t have beads in her black hair. Both the healer and the man who had greeted us had similar skin tones to her. It made me wonder if they had come from the same area before they had become Pickers or if that was pure coincidence. She was probably around ten years older than I was and didn¡¯t seem disturbed at all to be within a healer¡¯s domain or with helping her patients. Not an apprentice, but an assistant? I wasn¡¯t sure what to make of that.

    The healer gestured to some empty mats along the cave¡¯s left side. We listened to the silent directive and got the coughing old man, the younger one, and Kuma all settled on their own mats. I wanted to tell the healer what was wrong with them but I didn¡¯t doubt that she already had a decent idea from our entrance. Nor was I sure I wanted to give away that I was more familiar with injuries and healing than I should be.

    Harup, Jika, Prevna, and I turned to head back out of the cave but the healer suddenly pointed at me and then at an empty mat next to the others. I frowned back at her. My shoulder wound might be deep and bleeding freely after dragging the travois and my arm felt weak, but my mark wasn¡¯t tingling. I wasn¡¯t in danger of being on the edge of death yet and the others had more dire than me. They could die.

    I gestured to the old man. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    The healer cocked her head slightly to the side and then turned so that her helper could see her hands. She flashed through some rapid gestures which caused her helper to sigh slightly and set the bowl and spoon she had been using to feed the boy. Then she signed something back before rising to come over to us.

    ¡°Mirabeth says that she didn¡¯t leave her tribe to have a brat question her judgment in her own cave.¡± The helper pointed to the mat. ¡°If she says you stay, you stay or you forfeit any future healing she might provide¡ªshould you survive long enough to need it.¡±

    Part of me was very, very tempted to say that I¡¯d survive regardless but that put me in mind of all the patients who had made me wish I could hit them over the head with a sack full of flour, just once. The stupid, belligerent patients who acted out of fear or who simply thought they could overcome anything through sheer willpower.

    I¡¯d survive, yes, but that didn¡¯t mean I be able to do much more than that or that I wouldn¡¯t lose part of my mobility if I let the knife wound heal on its own.

    Prevna caught my gaze as she silently asked if I¡¯d be fine and I gave her the tiniest of nods back. Then I went and sat on the mat. I could keep the memories at bay long enough to get healed and get out back into the fresh air. I could see through the cave entrance, nothing was blocking my exit.

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    The others left and my eyes narrowed at the way Jika stepped up next to Prevna but I shifted my attention back to the helper as she knelt down in front of me to ask, ¡°Injuries? Or sickness?¡±

    So she didn¡¯t have the healer¡¯s eye then, but at the same time I didn¡¯t see much point in keeping my silence. At least about the obvious things.

    ¡°Knife wound to my left shoulder blade. Shallower cut across the middle of my back.¡± I indicated the others. ¡°He has puncture wound to his stomach and a fever. The old man won¡¯t stop coughing when he¡¯s not practically unconscious and Kuma has two long cuts: one down her upper arm and the other across her chest.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡± The woman rose and left to relay the information to the healer.

    Kuma leaned closer to me from where she sat on the mat to my left and spoke softly, ¡°Mirabeth might speak with her hands but they¡¯re all sharp tongued. There¡¯s a good number of us who would be dead without Mirabeth¡¯s skill though and a few went onto their second life because they thought she wouldn¡¯t make good on her threat.¡±

    I blinked at that. ¡°She let them die?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t lift a finger as one bled out at her feet and another wasted away.¡± Kuma looked grim. ¡°Said that if she wanted to be beholden to fools she¡¯d have stayed with her tribe. Desai, that¡¯s her helper, and Dahrii knocked out anyone who tried to attack her for refusing. Once those people were refused healing as well everyone got the message.¡±

    The insanity of it was like realizing that black handed healers had respect and privilege that tribe healers could only dream of all over again. Except, instead of being born in the Seedling Palace and marked by the Beloved, Mirabeth had gone in the opposite direction and left all privilege and respect behind to carve her own place out with her own two hands. A place where her skill demanded those that needed her respect her anyways.

    I bit back a laugh. To think, she could have had everything she wanted¡ªpeople listening to her every word, authority and importance¡ªif she had just been willing to throw the tribe away. But then she would have had to give up Father and she craved the tribe¡¯s high opinion too much to give that up either.

    I watched as the pair worked. Mirabeth finished up with the broken leg patient before coming over to start checking on the young man first while Desai went back to feeding the weak boy. The old familiarity of their action didn¡¯t take long to become painful, so I switched my focus to the area outside the cave.

    There wasn¡¯t much to see other than the tents and a low banked cook fire and the trees beyond the outcropping, but paying attention to that was preferable if I didn¡¯t want to suddenly be in another time and place. It also helped me catch when Mishtaw, Eliss, Petra, and Creed arrived.

    Dahrii stopped them like he had with us, just beyond where I could see out the cave entrance, but his short questions had noticeably less effect against two whisper women and their fire starters.

    ¡°We have no injured your healer needs to tend to, but I do need to speak to my apprentice, so step aside.¡± Mishtaw.

    She appeared a moment later so I got the impression Dahrii had done as she demanded. Her gaze swept over the camp until it landed on me. ¡°We need to talk.¡± Then her attention shifted past me and I turned slightly to see that Mirabeth had held out a staying hand. ¡°If she needs tending you can have her back once you are finished with the others. I promise you, I don¡¯t want her short sighted behavior to cause any more complications either.¡±

    Mirabeth stayed tense for another moment before she relented. The goddess¡¯s authority, even only hinted at through black lips, always won.

    I rose and went to Mishtaw. She gave me an expectant look so I answered, ¡°Two knife wounds to my back. Prevna¡¯s in the guest tent, she didn¡¯t get that injured.¡±

    ¡°And why was escorting their injured through death bringer territory a brilliant idea?¡±

    ¡°They would have died otherwise. If they had stayed in the camp.¡±

    Mishtaw pinched her nose and let out a long breath before she turned to direct the others. ¡°Eliss, Prevna¡¯s in that large tent. Petra, Creed, help where you can after you take a breather. You deserve it.¡±

    Mishtaw led me over to the outcropping¡¯s point. It was as secluded as we were going get without wandering off to some random part of the forest. At least I¡¯d have the beautiful scenery of the forest covering the mountain below us all the way down to the Cut while she chewed me out.

    She sat on one side of the point with her feet dangling over the edge and I copied her on the other side. I could tell that she had taken the time to clean up a little but there were still splatters of blood staining her clothes and she hadn¡¯t escaped injury either. Her neck was bandaged, but she was wearing a similar outfit to the one that the annoying whisper woman and her firestarter had been wearing. In fact, the whole group wore similar gear. I made a mental note ask her how they had gotten the new outfits and why they would have changed, but I knew this wasn¡¯t the time for it.

    Mishtaw gave me a sidelong look. ¡°You always have a reason. So explain what happened and why. In detail.¡±

    I complied. From our short time among the Red Hand band to deciding to bring the injured to the healer to how the journey actually went for us to arrive here.

    Mishtaw started flipping her knife with one hand while I spoke and she kept the idle motion going as she asked, ¡°Have you ever wondered why we didn¡¯t just pull all the fish into the shadows? Why we bothered fighting them?¡±

    I knew the answer I had wasn¡¯t the one she was probing for but having any kind of answer was still better than none. ¡°There wasn¡¯t shadows near the beach and you¡¯d have to be touching one to pull it into the shadows which would be difficult while they were trying to kill us. And most whisper women can¡¯t bring a lot of people with them through the shadows over and over again.¡±

    ¡°True.¡± She caught the knife and pointed it at me. ¡°What about the Envoy then? We were surrounded by trees and there were some decent shadows. Why didn¡¯t I just grab him and abandon him in the shadow paths? Why let him beat us bloody in a fight if I could have ended it in a moment?¡±

    My lips pressed together and she took that small tell of frustration as answer enough. ¡°The answer is that we could. We could grab anyone and anything we wanted and leave them to rot in the shadow paths, just like the death bringers decided to use their knives and their spears and kill everyone outside of their band that they could.¡±

    ¡°But that¡ª¡± I cut myself off as the point she was making settled in.

    Mishtaw sheathed her knife and nodded. ¡°Exactly. But the death bringers infringed on the goddess¡¯s domain by killing. That man you left in the shadow paths might have been alive when you left him but do you really think anyone can really live in there? No food, no water, no way to escape?¡±

    My heart sank. ¡°But She hasn¡¯t punished me.¡±

    ¡°There are stories.¡± Mishtaw tilted her head back to take in the sky. ¡°Some whisper women take the possibility of accidentally overstepping into the goddess¡¯s domain as reason enough to never use the shadow paths as a potential weapon; they think we should only use our boons as they are explicitly stated to be of use and that using the goddess¡¯s boon to kill is a special kind of sacrilege. Opal, the whisper woman who found you in the forest, is among them.¡±

    I prompted, ¡°And others?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen it, but it¡¯s said that the Commander, as the Head of the Peacekeepers, is allowed to use the boon in that way as a special form of execution. Other than that we all know better than to risk the goddess¡¯s wrath and there are bits and scrapes of stories from when the whisper women were newly formed and the goddess was so enamored with Her Beloved that She didn¡¯t pay attention to anything else. Those warn off even the most determined whisper women¡ªthose and the few who were lost to the shadows who managed to crawl back out.¡±

    ¡°Tell me.¡±

    Mishtaw¡¯s lips quirked up just a little at my insistence on hearing the stories. She knew I had a weakness for them. ¡°Back in those early days its said that the whisper women were dropping enemies in the shadows left and right, but their solution quickly caught up with them. We can¡¯t know for sure but its said that the trapped dead became ghosts that dragged the whisper women who trapped them into the shadows so they could never leave and became ghosts in turn. There¡¯s also a bit that hints that somehow the dead were messing with the paths, making it so whisper women would step out a different path than they intended or so they couldn¡¯t create paths at all. Somehow they managed to clear them out and we don¡¯t use that method anymore.¡±

    I wished there wasn¡¯t such huge holes in the story but we couldn¡¯t even be sure if the facts Mishtaw was telling me were correct, not with how long it had been since that time. ¡°And people really escaped after being abandoned to the shadows?¡±

    Mishtaw lifted one hand. ¡°We have record of five. Mostly whisper women and a seedling who had the been but accidentally got separated on someone else¡¯s path. The last was a man who disappeared again less than a day later. He got called the Ghost.¡± She paused, becoming more somber. ¡°None of them were the same when they returned and not one would go into the specifics of what they experienced. Again, these were all before my time, but it¡¯s said that they became¡­tethered to the shadow they escaped from. That they wouldn¡¯t want to go too far from it despite the horror they must have gone through to escape.¡±

    We sat in silence as what she said sank in.

    Finally, I asked, ¡°Do you think I¡¯ll have a ghost haunting the shadow paths now?¡±

    She sighed again. ¡°Let¡¯s hope not.¡±

 Book 4 - Ch. 11: The Poisoner

    Mirabeth got her hands on me not long after my morbid talk with Mishtaw. I let her tend to my wounds while I glared at the cave¡¯s floor with gritted teeth. She had a brusque manner, but still her actions were edged with a gentleness that other healers could never manage. She cared about her work¡ªand not just because she was driven to obtain good results.

    The old woman bound my arm to my side despite my protests so that I couldn¡¯t aggravate the shoulder injury further. I could understand why she did it, but that didn¡¯t mean I wanted to be restrained on an unfamiliar mountain, especially when Mishtaw said there could be more death bringers on the loose.

    The Peacekeepers had cleaned up the large encampments that the Fangs had controlled. Apparently, some other groups had fallen in with them as well as they gained power in the Cut, swelling their numbers beyond what was normal for a band. Between that and the few who managed to flee the initial assaults, like the group who had run into us, the Peacekeepers had their work cut out for them to make sure there weren¡¯t any stragglers.

    And Jin was living up to her title as the Enforcer. She had taken over command and was busy using her illusions to entrap and bring justice to the Fangs as quickly as possible. So the new Seedlings had been abandoned again. I hoped they were enjoying their respite from her ¡°teaching¡± even if it made me feel like she¡¯d suddenly appear out of the corner of my eye.

    At first I had been surprised that she had let Mishtaw and Eliss go so that they could rejoin us until I realized they fit nearly as poorly into what her expectations of what a whisper woman should be as I did. They didn¡¯t adhere neatly to the power structure¡ªMishtaw wasn¡¯t even a Peacekeeper¡ªand they were associated with me. Troublemakers, all around. Really, when I thought about it like that it was surprising she hadn¡¯t cut them from the operation as soon as she took command.

    Mirabeth snapped her fingers a scant from my face to get my attention. I recoiled slightly and glared at her. She ignored the look as she jabbed a finger into my chest before holding it up.

    I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I knew I only had one body. I knew I needed to take of it even without her jabbing her finger into my chest, but that didn¡¯t mean I could ignore everything else. Kuma would have been dead if I hadn¡¯t gotten between her and the knife.

    Then the healer did something unexpected. She slipped the knot holding my poisoner¡¯s pouch closed free, slapped my hand away when I tried to stop her, and blew a disappointed breath out when she saw what was inside.

    She gave me a look that said if I moved from my mat there would be dire consequences before she rose and left the cave. I was sorely tempted to get up anyways and go join Prevna in the guest tent so the healer couldn¡¯t poke and prod wherever she wanted anymore but I stayed where I was. Partly out of curiosity, partly because I wanted to snap at her when she returned for touching my things.

    Her other follower, the man, Dahrii followed one step behind her as Mirabeth stepped back into the cave. She pointed accusingly at my pouch before signing something to him as they both stood over me.

    His face was inscrutable as he swept his gaze over me. ¡°She says you¡¯re neglecting your craft.¡±

    ¡°My craft?¡± They couldn¡¯t mean healing. Surely, that bit of history wasn¡¯t obvious just by looking in a pouch.

    He held out a wrist, all slow precision. On that wrist was the only imprecise thing about him. Three leaves unfurled around the dot on his wrist. The poisoner¡¯s mark, though his was lumpy and not quite centered, like it had been someone¡¯s first attempt at a tattoo.

    I stared up at him. ¡°But only huntresses are supposed to use poisons.¡±

    Mirabeth signed something else that he acknowledged before he focused back on me. ¡°My sister taught me, though her interest lies elsewhere now.¡± His lips twisted into something that wasn¡¯t quite a smile. ¡°One of the reasons we left with Mirabeth.¡± He withdrew his wrist. ¡°So. Knowledge for knowledge? Or supplies?¡±

    I still knew all thirty three recipes that Rawley had taught me despite never using them. They were tucked away in a special spot in my memory tent. I could trade one or two of them now and possibly fill up my pouch with things I could use. Things that it might be difficult for me to acquire without questions, otherwise. But there was also the fact that I¡¯d be trading away Rawley¡¯s hard won knowledge for things I wasn¡¯t even sure I wanted or would use.

    Dahrii gestured with two fingers to the back of the cave. ¡°Perhaps you would like to see a bit of what I have first?¡±

    A look couldn¡¯t be construed as healing. I rose to my feet as gracefully as I could despite the awkwardness of my trapped arm trying to throw me off balance. He took that as acceptance. He had a lightning quick silent conversation with Mirabeth before he led me down a narrow tunnel that I had ignored when we first entered the cave.

    The tunnel deepened into shadow quickly but I didn¡¯t have any trouble navigating the uneven floor with my dark sight while Dahrii got by on pure familiarity. It wasn¡¯t long before he turned onto an offshoot and then a corner before we ended up in a small cave that had what remained of the evening sunlight streaming in from a hole in its ceiling. Dried plants also hung from the ceiling while a woven mat covered at least half the floor. Jars and small sacks were stacked neatly around its perimeter while a mortar and pestle, a very worn sitting cushion, and other small tools were arranged near its center. I recognized some of the plants and handmade tools but not all of them.

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    Dahrii settled on the cushion and indicated I should sit across from him on an empty pat of the mat. My eyes narrowed a bit at the clearly unequal seating arrangements but I swallowed the barbed comment that poked at the tip of my tongue and waited to see what he would do next as I sat.

    ¡°Did you get to practice long before you went off to blacken your lips?¡±

    ¡°Long enough.¡± I didn¡¯t like the way he had phrased the question. Like becoming a Seedling was inconsequential.

    He plucked up a jar and pulled off its lid to show me what was inside. Dried dark leaves pounded into dust and little pink petals left whole.

    ¡°My newest creation. I¡¯m still testing its potency but I think it¡¯ll help difficult patients keep¡­calm.¡±

    I stiffened. ¡°You don¡¯t follow proven recipes?¡±

    He did that two fingered gesture again towards some small bags behind him. ¡°I do.¡±

    But it wasn¡¯t all he did. That was clear. I wanted to ask how he tested his new recipes but I kept that question quiet as well. Likely it wouldn¡¯t have a pleasant answer.

    Instead, I pressed the conversation in a different direction, one that might be more useful. ¡°What else do you have?¡±

    Dahrii set his experiment back in its spot before plucking up another jar and showing it to me. This one was filled with a green and brown paste that smelled strongly of something nutty. Then he spooned out a bit and mixed it with water in shallow cup. ¡°This helps me focus on long nights. Not a true poison but something I found along the way. Do you want to try it?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± There was no way I was trying something random just because he recommended it.

    He set the cup aside and then walked me through the different bags of poison he had made. Some to slow and muddle, others that sapped the body¡¯s strength, and still more that immobilized a target through pain or locked muscles. Those were the same or similar to most of the ones I had learned from Rawley. Then he had a handful of others that brought on more unusual symptoms like blindness or an inability to get warm.

    Dahrii took obvious pride in his poisons as he showed me each one though towards the end his demonstration shifted more towards the plants and other ingredients he used and the unique things he had discovered about them through attempting to modify his poisons. That was the part I enjoyed most.

    He even held out a handful of the seed we had found in the hidden storage area. ¡°No one could even go in the inner valleys before I realized what these could do.¡±

    I smiled back at him. ¡°And what¡¯s that?¡±

    He curled his fingers back over the seeds. ¡°That¡¯s not a secret most bands in the Cut even know, but let¡¯s just say they can¡¯t do much like this or on their own.¡±

    I kept my smile in place despite his refusal to part with the one bit of information we needed to keep our search going. ¡°What would you like to know in exchange?¡±

    He raised his eyebrows in return. ¡°What are you willing to share?¡±

    So I told him a few of the basic poison recipes that Rawley had taught me to gauge his reaction, but he didn¡¯t seem remotely impressed by those. I wasn¡¯t sure I had any knowledge that would impress him given that what I knew of poisons was much shallower than healing. Perhaps my knowledge of plants and other ingredients would useful but I wasn¡¯t sure if all the ones I knew even grew in the Cut or these mountains.

    I quickly debated offering myself as a test subject, but I wasn¡¯t desperate enough for that. The few times I had been poisoned was enough for me to avoid it if I could, and we could still get the information or the connection we needed to the band in the inner valleys through the Red Hand.

    I shifted the conversation again. ¡°Do you know why Mirabeth shoved her way into my pouch?¡±

    His almost smile twisted onto his mouth again. ¡°She recognized the pouch as one that some huntresses carry and, after she saw the mark on your wrist, she thought you might have something I can¡¯t get here.¡±

    My jaw set. ¡°And if I did?¡±

    ¡°Then we¡¯d exchange for it, like we are now.¡±

    ¡°I never said I wanted anything.¡±

    He shrugged one shoulder. ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean you haven¡¯t gained anything.¡± Dahrii gestured to the sacks and jars he had showed me. ¡°Anything you want to trade for?¡±

    I shifted though the movement felt more stiff than it should have been. Perhaps hauling the old man around had made me even more sore than I would have thought. ¡°I like to learn about poisons more than I use them.¡±

    He nodded and covered the bowl he had wanted me to drink from in the beginning. ¡°That¡¯s just as well. Stay here awhile. Think on it.¡±

    Dahrii rose smoothly to his feet and I tried to follow him but my limbs felt like they were encased in stone. I gritted my teeth and tried to force myself up but my free arm buckled under my weight.

    I glared up at him. ¡°What did you do?¡±

    ¡°Poisons are interesting things. If you had drunk from the cup you¡¯d be perfectly fine now, especially with that dash of sweet dust I added. Well, until later.¡± He considered me. ¡°But the paste is something I modeled after the fog. Incapacitates you with every breath unless you have the antidote. With the amount I gave you your body will lock up until something important stops working.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    He nodded like he had been anticipating the question. ¡°Mirabeth heals. I get a test subject per group. The old man would have been the safest choice but how often does an injured whisper woman¡¯s apprentice show up?¡±

    ¡°My injuries weren¡¯t fatal. They know that.¡±

    Dahrii shrugged one shoulder again. ¡°Healing can be so tricky. Maybe you¡¯re bleeding internally, maybe your attacker¡¯s knife was poisoned? You were attacked by death bringers after all. For now Mirabeth is treating you in a private cave, doing her best to keep you alive but it¡¯ll all be for naught.¡±

    I lowered my head. He might have thought it was in defeat as he strode out of the room but, in reality, it was to hide a grin. However unpleasant things were about to get I couldn¡¯t help but look forward to the moment when he realized he had chosen the worst possible person for this experiment.

 Book 4 - Ch. 12: Of Plants and Poisons

    My limbs got heavier as twilight crept in. Stiffer, with every passing moment. Every breath became more labored and it became more and more difficult to force my eyelids back open when I blinked. And all around me¡ªhanging from the ceiling, bundled away in sacks¡ªwere potential solutions.

    Plants. Flowers and seeds and grasses with all their interesting uses. Some I knew, some I didn¡¯t. There were other ingredients and what I would have considered healer¡¯s tools. But poisoning could just be considered the other side of healing when it came to plants since it focused on the ill effects rather than the beneficial.

    Perhaps I could make an antidote and it would be counted among the poisoner¡¯s area expertise. It¡¯d be a long shot given that I had no idea what the death loving fool had used in his concoction but I likely had everything I needed here. Perhaps I didn¡¯t even need to make the antidote; Dahrii hadn¡¯t been affected by the strong smelling drink so he must have slipped himself the antidote at some point.

    And this time, I had time to prepare before I was locked within my own body. Utterly frozen. Unable to breathe or blink or truly think. I could stop it. I could do more than wait to be saved by the others.

    But I had to make a choice since I knew I wouldn¡¯t have enough time to search for an antidote and make one if I failed. I knew what I should pick. Which one would make the goddess the least likely to freeze me again and that couldn¡¯t be confused for me working the healing arts. After all patients were never punished for what healers made them take to help with recovery.

    I knew but my fingers itched. Itched to use the knowledge I had carefully kept fresh over the years and the plants that were just out of easy reach. To get as close to healing as I could go while hoping that the goddess would see my actions in the same way I did. Just like I had when I had given Melka her breath back.

    Except, of course, the goddess hadn¡¯t seemed to agree with my version of things then, so why should She now?

    I let out a long, frustrated breath before I dragged myself over to the jar that held the paste Dahrii had used in the first place. That wouldn¡¯t have the ¡°sweet dust¡± he had mixed in with the water and paste, and knowing the base could help me figure out the rest. After all, I couldn¡¯t know what I was looking for if I didn¡¯t know what I was trying to counteract.

    And while Dahrii had said drinking the mixture in the bowl could help me temporarily, I didn¡¯t want to add another unknown factor to my poisoning just yet.

    The little jar took more effort to uncork than it should have but I got it open and a dab of paste on one finger. That didn¡¯t tell me much more than when he had shown me the paste earlier so I took the next step.

    I stuck the paste on my tongue, rolled it around for a moment and then spat it out and scrapped off the rest. It tasted like purple boulder drop leaf and choke grass and roasted hump root, but I couldn¡¯t place the nutty flavor or smell that had permeated the cave. That must have come from something only in these mountains.

    Still, that gave me part of an answer. Purple boulder drop leaf mixed with choke grass did create a lethargic effect though it typically was weak and could be undercut by almost any stimulant. She had never added hump grass to that mixture though it was well known that in large quantities the grass would cause aching and stiffness in the joints which caused its victims to often be hunched over and unwilling to move. And I had seen those victims more than once over the years as people would mix it up with its lookalike, bushel grass.

    Mixing the three seemed to take away the hump grass¡¯s aching pain but it also made all their effects more potent. Or perhaps that was the unknown ingredient I couldn¡¯t place.

    Still, the antidote would need to have a stimulant to counteract the purple boulder drop leaf and choke grass mixture as well as something to soothe the inflammation and swelling from the hump grass.

    Dahrii had shown me his whole collection though he had definitely glossed over some concoctions more than others. A bit of preemptive gloating on his part, a risk he likely hadn¡¯t thought as truly dangerous since he likely thought I¡¯d be too incompetent or incapacitated to make use of what he had shown me.

    There were two potential antidotes I could grab¡ªthree if I included the watered down paste mixed with sweet dust. And one I could make from the ingredients in the room.

    The one I could make would be guaranteed to counteract everything except for the unknown ingredient and all I¡¯d need was two ingredients¡ªone directly above my head and the other sticking out of a sack on the far side of the room¡ªwhile his concoctions could do the trick, but I wouldn¡¯t known if they¡¯d truly work until I used one.

    My fingers itched. Just two ingredients, dried fire blossom and the soaked pulp of a stick of mist bramble. I could make it before I got too stiff to move. It was just two ingredients and could definitely be counted as an antidote. Surely the goddess wouldn¡¯t¡ª

    My mark started to prickle as my chest got tighter and tighter. I was gasping more than breathing normally now. Finesse was beyond what my fingers could manage. There wasn¡¯t time to mix anything. It didn¡¯t matter that there was no one here to see or that the goddess might have more to pay attention to than two ingredients being prepped and mixed. It didn¡¯t matter what might be punished or not.

    I was out of time.

    I eyed the covered little bowl that caused this dilemma in the first place. It¡¯s pungent blocked except for what lingered in the air. If Dahrii had been telling the truth than drinking its contents was the immediate solution, but I wasn¡¯t keen on trusting the poisoner¡¯s word and it sounded like a trap even if he had been honest.

    Of my other options, one sat straight ahead. A little jar full of a mixture made of crowning glory, red cheeks, gnasher¡¯s seeds, and blackburn sap. A poison, he had said, that made the victim unable to sleep while also making them feel like they were burning from the inside out.

    The other option was in a jar to my right. A concoction of honey and spider silk moss and three other ingredients I didn¡¯t know though one had sounded akin to balm nettle which helped with joints. He hadn¡¯t said what that one did but he had handled it with care and it contained both the stimulant and soother that I needed.

    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    Well, if one poison couldn¡¯t kill me than two wouldn¡¯t either. I reached for the unknown mixture. At least it shouldn¡¯t make me feel like I was burning alive and frozen in place at the same time if this went wrong.

    My hands had stiffened into claws, so I had to press the jar between my palms and pull its stopper out with my teeth. The thick liquid inside the jar sloshed but it was too low and heavy to escape from the jar. I tipped it back and drank.

    The concoction tasted like oversweet melon and it had a slightly sour aftertaste, likely the result of one or more of the ingredients I didn¡¯t know. The lack of knowledge was an irritant but I couldn¡¯t focus on that now.

    Now all I could do was wait. The jar slipped from my hands and cracked on the cave¡¯s stone floor so that what remained of Dahrii¡¯s work seeped out over the floor.

    Everything kept locking up and my mark¡¯s prickling burn intensified. I wasn¡¯t breathing anymore and my vision swam with the lack of oxygen. Panic rose from the pit of my stomach to further clog the space just behind my ribs. Was I going to be frozen for weeks again? Forever? What if the storming poison never weakened? What if whatever I just took made it worse or stronger?

    Something cold bloomed in my gut. So cold that it reminded me of Lithunia¡¯s ice. The cold knifed through me and I wanted to scream but my jaw was locked in place and I didn¡¯t have the breath for it. Tears leaked from my eyes. So that was my fate then: rather just be immobilized I had condemned myself to feeling like I was getting shredded by icicles as well.

    Minutes of agony passed but, slowly, oh so slowly, I realized that my mark¡¯s burning was lessening as the ice cold cut its way through more and more of my body. That I could breathe just a bit again and I could shift slightly and I could blink. The cold forced itself further and further and little by little my control returned.

    That was when I noticed that some of the cold was concentrating back in my belly and it was getting colder and heavier and my body wanted it out. I heaved. Hacked and spat as my body forced something hard and cutting back up my throat until I finally got it out.

    The taste of blood ran down my throat as I stared at a crystal the size of my knuckle that had clattered onto the ground. It was a darker version of gold-blue mixture I had drank. Had it condensed the other poison I had inhaled?

    I didn¡¯t have much time to ponder the question before the process repeated itself again and again and again. Half a dozen of the storming crystals littered the ground in front of me before I finally stopped heaving. My throat was raw and bleeding from all the sharp edges I had hacked up, but I could move again, breathe easily, like I had never fallen for Dahrii¡¯s stupid trick except for a heavy tiredness that was likely the result of the rapid changes I had put my body through. My mark stopped prickling.

    I eyed the jar that had held the freezing concoction before carefully pouring what little hadn¡¯t seeped out onto the floor into one of my empty jars in my poisoner¡¯s pouch. It barely filled the bottom fourth of the tiny jar but that would have to do for one dose. I wasn¡¯t sure if it could stop other poisons but my gut said that I had stumbled upon Dahrii¡¯s cureall¡ªthe thing he could use no matter what if he accidentally poisoned himself with one of his mixtures. Something that I would have said was healing it wasn¡¯t for his seeming lack of punishment for using it.

    But, then again, the goddess hadn¡¯t punished him for helping along the death of countless people too. Unless She had simply delayed his punishment until now so that he could receive it through proxy via Mishtaw and the Peacekeepers.

    Guessing at the goddess¡¯s motives would get me nowhere. That was something only She and perhaps the Beloved could know for certain. So, instead, I wiped off the crystals I had vomited up and put those in my pouch too for later study. Just in case I could use them later or perhaps learn more about the cureall.

    I also helped myself to a couple of the known poisons Dahrii had made. One that could addle and slow a beast the size of a boar and another that collapse a bear with a big enough a dose by making its limbs fall asleep. My jars held enough for three doses of the first and one dose for the second, presuming I actually used it on a bear.

    That was when I heard footsteps echoing through the caves and coming closer. Multiple sets. I watched the entrance but I still had a little bit before they¡¯d reach the poisoner¡¯s den. Play dead or gloat?

    Both were tempting but in the end I decided I had enough enough of being stiff limbed and stuck, even if I was only pretending. Instead, I leaned against the back wall of the little cave, crossed my arms, and waited.

    The footsteps got closer and closer until I could make out a bit of what was being said and Dahrii didn¡¯t sound quite as composed and confident as he had before. Instead there was a fair bit of frustration clouding his voice.

    ¡°She¡¯s dead! We tried to¡ª¡±

    ¡°No, she¡¯s not.¡± That was Mishtaw and her voice cut through his with absolute certainty. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯ve done but you haven¡¯t killed her and her wounds haven¡¯t either. What I do know is that you¡¯ll regret whatever happened even more if you try to delay us further.¡±

    They rounded the corner and I had the pleasure of seeing Dahrii startle back into Creed when he noticed me glaring at him from across the way.

    ¡°You!¡±

    I pushed off the wall with one shoulder and started to respond before I had to clear my throat and spit out a bit of blood to speak. My voice sounded as raw as my throat felt. ¡°I can¡¯t die, idiot.¡±

    Creed shoved Dahrii further into the room and they were followed by Mishtaw and Prevna. Some of the tension surrounding the group relaxed when they saw me upright but it ratcheted right back up again at the sound of my voice and the blood I spat out.

    Prevna hurried over to me as the others took stock of the cave. ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    ¡°Better than I was.¡± I cleared my throat again. ¡°Counteracted his poison.¡±

    She lifted a hand. ¡°Can I help?¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°Mixture. Not a natural source.¡±

    If the poison had come from a singular plant or animal she might have been able to draw it back out of me with her blessing, but as it was the smelling poison had been a mix of ingredients and the cureall had done its job.

    Prevna didn¡¯t like my answer. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re fine?¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t die.¡±

    She gave me a deadpan look that promised I¡¯d regret it in the future if I didn¡¯t give her a better answer. So I forced out more of an explanation. ¡°Would¡¯ve been frozen again. Throat¡¯s raw from antidote. Some sleep and I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    Her frown deepened but she didn¡¯t press me further so I gestured to the broken jar and the other evidence of my trial. That drew Dahrii¡¯s attention to the mess too and he froze as his gaze fixated on the broken jar and the puddle that formed around it.

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­all of¡­¡± His gaze slowly lifted to mine. Then something in him seemed to snap and he tried to rush me but Creed held him firmly in place. ¡°How dare¡ª¡±

    Creed punched him in the gut with his free hand and Dahrii bent over wheezing.

    Mishtaw asked, ¡°Would anyone else have been dead if they didn¡¯t have your blessing?¡±

    I nodded and added, ¡°One per group.¡±

    Her scowl deepened as she immediately understood the implications. ¡°One per group. Creed, take the girls back to the healer¡¯s cave. It seems there¡¯s another death bringer than needs to understand that death was never his domain.¡±

    I held up a staying hand. I could tell that my voice about to give out completely but I couldn¡¯t let her kill our best lead for entering the inner valleys. I pointed at the man. ¡°Fog. Knows cure.¡±

    Mishtaw lifted her chin. ¡°Answers before justice then.¡± She glanced over at Prevna and me. ¡°Go back to the camp. Eliss is making sure they behave themselves there. We¡¯ll join you shortly.¡±

    Prevna nodded and I let her guide me past the others and back to the relative safety of the main camp.

 Book 4 - Ch. 13: Once Again

    Creed had stayed back with Mishtaw in the poisoner¡¯s hideout but even without his bulk the healer¡¯s cave was crowded between the injured, the rest of the Red Hand group, the healer and her assistant, and Petra and Eliss who were keeping watch over them all.

    The cave¡¯s entrance was covered now by the pine needle strands to keep the cool night air out and the only light in the cave came from a small banked fire in the middle of the floor. Which only added to the claustrophobic feeling strangling the room.

    I drew in a deep breath and held it for a few moments before letting it out again while Eliss focused in on Prevna and demanded to know what was going on. I could handle small spaces better than I used to, now that I had more experiences to combat the memories, but I still had a strong urge to push past the pine needles and step out into the relief of open air. And perhaps I would, once I knew Eliss wouldn¡¯t drag me right back into the cave so she could keep an eye on me.

    It figured that she had ignored me in favor of Prevna even though I had been the one present for the entire thing. She tried to pretend I wasn¡¯t around as much as possible. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because she thought that if she acted like I wasn¡¯t there to cause trouble than reality would follow suit or if it was her way of silently protesting Mishtaw¡¯s decision to take me on without actually questioning her.

    Petra shifted toward me with a glad smile even as she kept her eyes on the others. ¡°Alright?¡±

    I nodded and gave her a small smile in return before touching my throat and deliberately wincing. She got the message between that and the short tale Prevna was finishing up quietly nearby. My voice was basically shot for now but I figured I might be able to force it when I really needed if I let it rest for a bit.

    Petra patted me on the shoulder and nodded at Mirabeth and Desai, who were watching us in return. Mirabeth looked bitter while Desai had a kind of desperate intensity. ¡°I¡¯ve learned a bit of signing in the past. I couldn¡¯t catch everything but from what I saw those two knew what he was up to. They tried to tell us you were dead. Can you believe it?¡±

    Petra shook her head and chuckled lightly at the idea and my smile turned a little more vindictive. I wasn¡¯t surprised at all to hear that they knew what was going on given Mirabeth¡¯s previous actions, but I was glad to hear I had ruined their expectations as well.

    Eliss finally paid me enough attention to see that I was standing before changing focus to the Healer and assistant pair. She stepped up close so she loomed over where they were sitting and whatever other murmurs had filled the silence instantly quieted.

    ¡°Did you kill any with your own hands?¡±

    Mirabeth¡¯s face went ashen and she shook her head no once, sharply. Desai glared up at the whisper woman.

    ¡°I taught him the art and nothing else.¡±

    ¡°And he should not have even known that.¡±

    ¡°We were children and already shunned by most of our tribe. I did not see a reason as to why I shouldn¡¯t share one of my interests with him, especially when he obviously excelled at it.¡±

    ¡°And what about now?¡± Eliss¡¯s fingers tightened on her spear. ¡°What about when he started to kill?¡±

    ¡°At first it was an accident. Then it was a mercy¡ªan old woman whose insides were rotting. She would have been dead anyways, only it would have taken longer and been more painful.¡± Desai squared her shoulders. ¡°He never killed before we were kicked out of the tribe.¡±

    Eliss was about to continue her interrogation when Mirabeth signed something and Desai translated. ¡°By the time he showed his true intentions we were in too deep. I was their cover and they¡¯re my protection. My tongue was gone and she is loyal to her brother.¡±

    ¡°That was all it took for you aid a death bringer?¡±

    Mirabeth¡¯s hands rapidly gave her answer but Desai took a long moment to fill the rest of us in. ¡°If I turned away patients then he said I would be his next test subject¡­I wasn¡¯t ready to become one of them yet so I healed who I could.¡± Desai¡¯s next words were Mirabeth. ¡°You weren¡¯t meant to be touched! We need the gifts you get from the bands.¡±

    Practicality over sentimentality then. Not that I couldn¡¯t understand where she was coming from. The healer and her seeming assistants had a nice set up where all the surrounding bands likely owed them for surviving the elements and each other, but they likely weren¡¯t able to keep ahold of a true territory of their own that would help them survive without those band¡¯s payment. Nor were any of the bands likely keen on taking in the trio given the healer¡¯s stigma and the difficulty of taking on more mouths to feed. So this arrangement suited everyone best until Dahrii came into the picture and the bands learned they were a killer¡¯s fee for every band member Mirabeth saved.

    ¡°How many dead?¡± That was Kuma and she looked she wanted to rip her bandages from her wounds. ¡°How many has he killed since you came here?¡±

    Desai¡¯s hands clenched. ¡°I didn¡¯t count.¡±

    I eyed Eliss. She could add fuel to the fire or keep the information we had learned to herself. I was tempted to blurt it out myself, just so they would get their due, but my raw throat kept me quiet.

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    ¡°You¡ª¡± Eliss never got to finish.

    Harup grunted and Jika screamed. A spear was sticking out of the big man¡¯s back. He had been standing near the covered cave entrance, watching the drama unfold, and he was slumping to the cave floor, eyes dull.

    Jika scrambled back as another spear struck the ground between her feet and then everything was chaos. The pine needle strands moved unnaturally and I moved before I could think about what I was doing. All I knew was that I could never move Eliss and I didn¡¯t manage more than a croak when I tried to shout.

    So I stepped in front of her and a spear punched through my back just below my ribs. For a moment I thought it had punctured through to the other side but when I looked down nothing poke through my stomach. Then my head got light and my knees went weak and I sank to the ground in accidental imitation of Harup.

    The goddess was really testing Her blessing tonight.

    Prevna dragged me to my feet, shouting something, just before Eliss took the spear sticking out of my back and broke it over her knee so there was only about half a foot sticking out.

    Others were shouting and scrambling around the healer¡¯s cave as people I didn¡¯t recognize slipped in between pine needle strands. A few bodies lay on the floor but I couldn¡¯t focus enough to see who they were in the low light. Mirabeth and Desai were gone.

    I tried to point that out, that they were gone and more enemies were coming, but my tongue wouldn¡¯t work and my breathing was too rapid and there wasn¡¯t something that definitely wasn¡¯t supposed to be in my gut sticking out of me after I had already nearly been killed once today. Twice, if you counted what might have happened if the knife wounds I had gotten in the forest fight had been better placed.

    Prevna dragged me forward and then we were back in the tunnels, turning this way and that. I tried to focus, tried to ignore the pain that was slowly radiating more from my middle, like I usually did, but it felt like I had used all my focus battling the poison. My instincts were telling me to slow down, stop, treat the wound and stop the bleeding, but there wasn¡¯t time for that. Others were crowding the tunnel behind us and the attackers were likely pursuing behind them.

    Suddenly, we did stop. Bottlenecked by Mishtaw and Creed coming the other way with Mirabeth and Desai bound and senseless on Creed¡¯s shoulders.

    Prevna gasped out, ¡°Death bringers! Attacking!¡±

    They immediately backed up and Prevna pulled me after them. We ended up back in Dahrii¡¯s lair, packed tight and waiting with whoever else made it here with us while Mishtaw and Eliss were pressed to either side of the entrance. Eliss had activated her blessing, giving her skin an unusual texture. Really, I should have let her handle the stupid spear even if she wouldn¡¯t have been able to see the attack from where she was standing.

    My gaze wavered over the plants hanging from the ceiling. The pots and sacks pressed up against the walls. I needed to be able to focus. To think through the pain and blood loss and shock even if my mark was starting to prickle again. Dahrii might have been a poisoner but surely he had something I could use as a stimulant without poisoning myself as well.

    My eyes caught on the dried fire blossom I had wanted to use earlier to make an antidote. It would do. Mishtaw yelled her battle cry and I felt my body strengthen even as the sounds of fighting came from the entrance. They could hold the door. I reached up, stretching and pulling on my wounds, but all I reached was the air just below the storming plant. Prevna shifted and I found myself sitting on the floor, glaring up at her, until she snagged the dried fire blossom and crouched down next to me.

    She smiled at me even as fear and worry made her eyes tight. ¡°You wanted this?¡±

    I scooped the bundle out of her hands in answer and crushed it against my face. My eyes and the insides of my mouth and nose burned as I breathed in once, twice, three times. But with each breath I felt my focus return. Felt the world crystallize into a burning kind of clarity even as my eyes watered from the plant¡¯s pollen.

    Dahrii was collapsed in a corner of the small cave, dead. Mirabeth and Desai had been set down next to him, still bound alive. Mishtaw and Eliss held the cave¡¯s entrance and killed any death bringer who got too close while Creed and Petra supported them where they could. Of the others who had made it with us, we still had: Kuma and Jika, the younger injured man and the sick young boy. Apparently, the others hadn¡¯t been able to move fast enough to avoid the death bringers.

    We had no way to know how many death bringers were attacking other than the assumption that there shouldn¡¯t have been that many given the number the Peacekeepers had wiped out. We also couldn¡¯t stay here. They knew where we were and even if we got them to retreat they would know where we were.

    I eyed the hole in cave ceiling that was letting starlight light up the room. Our escape options were find a way up through that or chance going further into the tunnels or back out through the healer¡¯s camp. If only that whisper woman who could stick to things was here. She¡¯d have no trouble reaching the top and securing a rope for everyone else to climb.

    I shook my head mentally and refocused. That could come later. For now we needed to win the fight as quickly as possible. Our chances were better all around if Mishtaw and Eliss weren¡¯t exhausted.

    Well, we were in a poisoner¡¯s den. And I still remembered everything Dahrii had been proud enough to walk me through. The smelling poison would take too long and carry the risk of affecting our people as well. Thankfully, I saw that no one had knocked that little bowl over. I snatched it up and carried it to a safe corner before focusing on my other options.

    Would using his killing poisons count us among the death bringers? Most likely, unless it was Mishtaw or Eliss as they had the Peacekeeper¡¯s divine right and duty. Still, perhaps it was better to use something that wasn¡¯t lethal, just in case. I hobbled over to a little jar that held one of the poisons I had considered using earlier. A poison that was just waiting for someone to breath it in and keep them awake while they felt like they were being burned from the inside. It was cruel and terrible and exactly the kind of thing that would likely break the death bringers assault. Who could fight when it felt like they were a living torch?

    I took a drink from my water pouch and then held out the jar to Prevna. It took me a couple tries but I managed, ¡°Throw. Don¡¯t breathe.¡±

    Her face was grim as she nodded but she took the jar and got Petra¡¯s attention who spread a warning to the others. Mishtaw stabbed the attacker in the throat and then they all took a moment to cover their faces with a bit of cloth as Prevna lobbed the jar down the way we had come. I heard it shatter. An agonizing moment passed as another attacker bore down on the entrance but Eliss stabbed the person in the gut and then the screaming started.

    It started and didn¡¯t stop for a long while, though the voices did fade into the distance the longer it went on.

 Book 4 - Ch. 14: Sonyas Delivery

    Once Mishtaw determined that no more death bringers were going to stab us in the back while we were focused elsewhere, she focused on what needed to be done next. First, escape. Petra got up on Creed¡¯s shoulders and, with her arms outstretched, she was able to hook her fingers over the top lip of the hole in the cave ceiling. From my spot on the floor I didn¡¯t get a good look at how she did it, but it didn¡¯t take her long to pull herself up onto the mountainside and get a rope tied and dropped down for the rest of us.

    Mishtaw went up first with Eliss, and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if they immediately started contacting the other whisper women once they were up in the wind. The death bringers would be easy prey while they were still under the effects of the poison.

    It wasn¡¯t clear if Dahrii had signaled the death bringers so they could attack Mishtaw and Eliss while they were separated from the other Peacekeepers or if the death bringers had come up with the ambush on their own. A rash bit of revenge for the band members the Peacekeepers had already taken care of. Revenge that they would likely sorely regret now because there was no way the Peacekeepers would be lenient with those that had went after their own.

    Nor could anyone be sure if the goddess would involve Herself or not, moody as She could be. Mishtaw and Eliss and the rest of us weren¡¯t Her trees or the Beloved or even one of Her Chosen. We might be Hers, marked for life, but from what I¡¯d seen we were more important in function to the goddess rather than as individuals. As long as the Sects still functioned as they should and none of Her favorites were injured, it¡¯d be a surprise to me if She came raging down on the death bringers when the Peacekeepers were already taking care of their punishment. But the goddess was also not known for being predictable.

    I was the first of the injured to be hoisted up by the rope. I would have preferred to climb it on my own but between all the injuries to my back and weakness from the poison and blood loss, I had to accept the indignity. Creed got two loops tied in the rope so that one went behind my knees and the other around my armpits. I still had to use one hand to keep a little distance from the wall but it was a much easier assent than it would have been otherwise.

    Eliss hauled me up and gave me a stiff nod as Petra helped me out of the rope. It was more acknowledgment than she had given me in a long time, but there was also still something in her eye, a bit of judgment or reservation, that made me think that was all the improvement to our relationship I¡¯d be getting.

    Petra guided me to an open space to sit in the middle of the group and patted me on the shoulder. ¡°We¡¯ll get you to a healer soon.¡±

    She went back to keep helping Eliss with the rope. I stayed where I was and resisted the idiotic urge to touch the spear that was still sticking out of my back. The mountainside was a study in contrasts with the moon rising overhead now and the dark shadows the forest cast on the ground. A good night for shadow walking.

    Mishtaw strode over to me with Prevna and a whisper woman I had never seen before in tow. The new whisper woman was tall, possibly as tall Creed despite having the frame of a bunch of sticks tied together. Her hair was gathered in a wide braid on the top of her head before it fell in a thick, straight line down to the middle of her back. Her face added to the impression of harsh angles and lines between her deep set eyes and sharp chin, sharp cheek bones and long nose. Her bless mark blackened her bottom lip and cut across the left side of her chin in two diagonal lines.

    ¡°Sonya will be taking you and Prevna back to the Seedling Palace for healing,¡± Mishtaw said. ¡°Esie wants to meet with you too. When you¡¯re recovered I¡¯ll let you know what the plan is.¡± Her features hardened. ¡°Likely this will turn into a full purge now.¡±

    I focused on Prevna as soon as Mishtaw said she was also going back for healing, but as far I could tell she didn¡¯t have any major injuries. She rolled her eyes at me with a pained smile. ¡°Just a few cuts and bruises.¡±

    Mishtaw made a hurry up gesture. ¡°There¡¯s not much time left.¡± Her gaze cut to Sonya. ¡°You know where she is?¡±

    Sonya cocked her head like whisper women did when they listened to the wind. ¡°She told me.¡± Then she folded her tall body down until she was crouched in front me. ¡°Best if we hurry, little diver.¡± Apparently, that particular nickname had stuck and spread farther among the whisper women than I had thought. ¡°Can I carry you?¡±

    I wanted to say no. To insist that I could walk, especially when I didn¡¯t know what the hurry was. Didn¡¯t want someone I didn¡¯t even know touching me, holding me close, but I also knew Mishtaw wouldn¡¯t say there was need to hurry for no reason.

    I directed my question at her, ¡°Why the rush?¡±

    My mentor looked both unsurprised and exasperated by the question in equal measure. ¡°You have a spear sticking out of your gut and Corrin agreed to a favor.¡±

    It took me a long moment to place the name before I remembered the cool, unflappable woman who had used her blessing to return me to health after Jin opened up my armpit in a bid to test my blessing. If she used her blessing on me again I could skip the long weeks of recovery that the spear wound would required otherwise.

    I swallowed down any other questions or protests and gave Sonya my assent. She picked me up carefully before rising back up to her full height. Even held in front of her chest, in much the same way the rope had held me while I was being lifted out of the cave, I was farther from the ground than I was used to being.

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    She carried me over to the closest shadow with more ease than I had expected. It was deep and dark and more than wide enough to fit all three of us within its edges. Prevna held her hand from where it stuck out beneath my knees and then Sonya stepped forward.

    The shadow paths hazed in around us. Silver and gray mist creeping by and oil slick floor beneath. For a moment I thought I imagined it, the transition was so smooth. There was no sense of a drop or sinking into a pool of water or even a long moment of preparation.

    No, just the simple fact that between one breath and the next we had gone from the mountainside to shadow paths as simply as stepping through a doorway. Blink and you miss it.

    It was the smoothest transition I had ever experienced. Not even Hana, the best shadow walker as far as I knew, had managed such an easy transition. Of course, she didn¡¯t have the highest opinion of me, so she simply might not have bothered to make the effort.

    Sonya seemed to read my thoughts as she strode forward on the path only she could see. ¡°Many of the others like to compare me to Hana¡ªshe is always the first to come to mind with shadow walking. And she does win out when it comes to distance and making the shortest paths, but I think she rarely bothers with the transition. Especially when it comes to others.¡± Sonya smiled softly. ¡°I tend to think it¡¯s the most important part, but that might be because I have a tendency to transport the injured.¡±

    Prevna looked up at her with wide eyes. ¡°How many have you brought through the shadow paths at once?¡±

    Sonya thought for a moment. ¡°I think the most I brought along at once was¡­eight people. Two different squads had been badly injured by the Devouring Blue¡¯s fish, but it was a short journey. I had good shadows to work with and none were quite as formidable as Mishtaw¡¯s Creed.¡±

    Prevna seemed ready to pepper her with more questions but Sonya stopped her with a quiet, ¡°One moment.¡±

    And one step later we were in the Seedling Palace with blue-black and purple pine needles all around, twisting branch walkways, and pine cone lanterns lighting everything up overhead. However, rather than the healers¡¯ nests I had been expecting, Sonya had delivered us to a private dwelling.

    Pine needles obscured the view of what else might be around us and they also seemed thick enough to muffle noise. A dome of golden sap filled the landing in front of us before it butted up against the trunk of one of the great trees that made up the Seedling Palace. Soft looking leather covered the dome¡¯s entrance. There wasn¡¯t much room around the home to move, but this also wasn¡¯t the best place to take in a view. I looked back, past Sonya, and saw that she had stepped from the trunk¡¯s shadow just in front of where a symbol was carved into the wood, bloodied red. I wanted to ask about it and learn why the goddess wasn¡¯t upset about someone carving into the tree, but now wasn¡¯t the time.

    Sonya whistled and Corrin stepped out of her home. She was a dark skinned woman with black hair braided back into a thick plait and an exasperated expression, though her voice was as mellow as I remembered it.

    ¡°You¡¯re lucky your mentor cares about you so much.¡± Corrin gestured for Sonya to set me down and, once I was back to sitting on the ground, without preamble, she braced one hand against my shoulder and jerked the spear out of my back with the other.

    I screamed. My throat immediately protested and I fell into a fit of coughing even as the pain radiating from my wound insisted I should keep screaming.

    Prevna stepped forward, hands out. ¡°What are you¡ª¡±

    Corrin cut her off with a look before she touched my forehead and asked, ¡°Cutting it close, aren¡¯t you?¡± She didn¡¯t seem to expect an answer and I didn¡¯t have the breath or voice to give her one. ¡°Be as you were.¡±

    The line activated her blessing and a cool sensation flooded through me. It was impossible not to relax into it even it ignored the cuts on my back and my throbbing throat¡ªthose were beyond the time limit on Corrin¡¯s blessing. I had a brief moment of panic at the thought of what would have happened if her blessing had reverted me back to before I had cleansed Dahrii¡¯s poison before the pain in my throat eased the fear. I had no desire to go through that ordeal again.

    The spear closed and disappeared as if it never happened and the cool, refreshing sensation vanished just before Corrin took her palm away from my forehead. I was still tired and stiff, just like I had been after I purged the poison with the cureall, but I no longer had to worry about the damage and recovery from the spear wound.

    Corrin stood up and shook her head slowly at me. ¡°You¡¯re lucky no one else needed my blessing today and that it¡¯s so close to the next.¡± So she wouldn¡¯t have agreed to Mishtaw¡¯s favor if she thought there was a chance someone else would need her. The next was directed at Sonya, ¡°You¡¯ll take them to the healers?¡±

    ¡°Easy enough to do.¡± Sonya held out a hand and pulled me to my feet. ¡°Tell Pounce hi for me.¡±

    Corrin flushed slightly as Prevna asked, ¡°Pounce?¡±

    Sonya nodded. ¡°A forest cat she raised up from a kitten. ¡®Bout as big as your arm, ignoring his tail, and fluffy enough to be a cloud.¡±

    ¡°Sonya.¡±

    Sonya wasn¡¯t remotely affected by the censure in Corrin¡¯s tone. ¡°There¡¯s no harm in telling them. I heard one of the Sprouts in their group has a bird.¡±

    ¡°Chirp,¡± Prevna provided the name. ¡°He¡¯s Wren¡¯s companion. Be careful if you try to feed him though¡ªhe won¡¯t leave you alone if he gets a treat from you once.¡±

    While I wouldn¡¯t blame Prevna for continuing the pointless conversation, I was glad when Corrin ended it. ¡°I need sleep. She¡¯s as recovered as I can make her, so you might was well get her to the healers to do the rest of the work.¡±

    Sonya offered us her hands again and as soon as we took them she stepped into the shadow paths. After two steps in the shadow paths we were back out and at the healers¡¯ nests. The trip was so short and easy that it felt more like a dream, like she hadn¡¯t taken us through the shadows at all, though there was no denying that we were no longer at Corrin¡¯s home.

    A healer spotted us and led us over to his dome. Sonya waited until we were settled inside and the black handed healer was gathering his supplies to say her goodbye. ¡°Recover well. Perhaps I¡¯ll see you back on the mountain.¡± Her expression darkened before it cleared so quickly that I questioned if the change had been real. ¡°Though perhaps it¡¯ll be best if you miss that bloody business.¡±

    The healer fussed over Mirabeth¡¯s treatment of my cuts, though I could tell he couldn¡¯t find anything truly wrong with her work, which was annoying in its own right since she handed me off to Dahrii not long after she took care of those wounds. Then he fussed over my throat and double and triple checked my symptoms to make sure I wasn¡¯t still poisoned before he moved on to Prevna. Once he had treated every ailment he could find on both of us, and we were deemed not to be in critical condition, we were ordered to return the next day and let go to make our way to Mishtaw¡¯s place.

 Notice about Book 4 - Ch. 15

    Sorry to do this so close to the deadline today but it looks like I''m not going to get the promised chapter done in time! I''ll definitely get it done by tomorrow night but the week got a little away from me and I keep going back and forth on how this chapter should go. The way it is right now just doesn''t feel correct and I want to get that fixed before I post the chapter. Thank you so much for your patience with the delay! I hope you all had a good week and that you''ll enjoy the chapter when I get it where it needs to be!

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 Book 4 - Ch. 15: The Odds Between Trust and Control

    Prevna waited until we were settled in our little alcove in Mishtaw¡¯s dome to speak her mind. She started slow, leaned back against the wall on her bedroll and staring up at the pine cone lantern.

    ¡°How do you think the others are doing?¡±

    I stopped trying to carefully lay down in a way that wouldn¡¯t make any of my wounds twinge to look over at her. Like as not, I¡¯d end up having to lay in an undignified lump on my stomach and that wasn¡¯t a comfortable position to hold a conversation in. Still, she hadn¡¯t asked the question like she expected an answer and my throat would likely take at least until tomorrow to recover with the medicine so I just shrugged.

    She answered her own question, ¡°Even though Jin doesn¡¯t like Mishtaw, she¡¯s probably going to be even more merciless now that the death bringers dared to attack her and Eliss. That healer might get condemned to since she helped and the sister since she taught him poisons in the first place. I¡¯m not sure if anyone will think to escort the Red Hands back to their camp.¡±

    Her expression didn¡¯t change as she spoke. Just a bit tense and pensive, like what she was saying wasn¡¯t what she actually wanted to say from start to finish, and I hated it. That wasn¡¯t how Prevna was supposed to sound or look. Like she was just waiting for a trap to snap or she was so frustrated she couldn¡¯t think of a single teasing comment.

    I kept watching her and waited for whatever came next.

    ¡°What would you do if I ran into trouble every chance I got?¡± Prevna let her head tilt lazily to the side so she could look me dead in the eyes. But there was nothing lazy about her gaze¡ªthat was pure challenge.

    ¡°What would you do,¡± she pressed, ¡°if I kept getting stabbed and poisoned and nearly killed a dozen different ways over and over again?¡±

    I jabbed a finger into my left thigh, where we both knew my bless mark lay. She looked thoroughly unimpressed.

    ¡°You might not die but that doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯re invincible. That spear could have hit your spine! Someone in my band took a wound like that from a boar tusk and she couldn¡¯t walk after.¡±

    I knew she was right. Knew that sooner or later if I kept throwing myself in front of weapons, with no regard for anything but getting in front of it, I¡¯d be struck by a wound a I couldn¡¯t fully recover from.

    But that didn¡¯t mean I could easily disregard the instinct to get in the way, especially when I knew that meant I could control one particular outcome: if I took an attack in place of someone else than everyone lived. Every time.

    I didn¡¯t particularly care about everyone but Prevna and Mishtaw were important and they cared about others which meant they¡¯d be unhappy if those others died. And I knew the cohort and¡­I didn¡¯t want to admit it but I doubted I was callous enough to watch someone else die when I knew I could take the same blow and live. I didn¡¯t particularly want to be injured and half-dead all the time but it made sense more often than not to take control and take the injury. I was used to it, I¡¯d recover, and the other person would be fine.

    Prevna huffed out a breathe and reached over to flick me on the forehead. ¡°I can see you calculating the odds. That¡¯s not the point. The point,¡± she flicked me again on the leg for extra emphasis, ¡°is that you sacrifice yourself without any regard for anyone else or what they think and you¡¯re getting worse about it. You didn¡¯t even try to block the spear meant for Eliss so it wouldn¡¯t skewer you!¡±

    I snagged one of my shoes I had taken off earlier and chucked it at her gut. She flinched and tried to catch it but the shoe had already hit her ribs. I crossed my arms and gave her a look that asked if she had time to block that.

    Despite everything that made a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth. ¡°You¡¯re terrible.¡± Then she chucked the shoe back at me so it hit me in the chest. ¡°I¡¯m not the one who insists on testing out every way to die!¡±

    I glowered at her and she glowered right back until she ran a hand back over her face and stated, ¡°I¡¯m worried about you and if you won¡¯t listen until I¡¯m the one stuck recovering for days on end then, maybe, I¡¯ll be the one who takes a blow for someone else next.¡±

    My eyes strayed down to my bedroll. I couldn¡¯t keep looking at her after that declaration. Didn¡¯t know how to deal with the earnest concern in her expression or the thought of Prevna being terribly wounded for someone else. Though I¡¯d definitely make whoever she saved regret their incompetency so she wouldn¡¯t need to make that fool¡¯s choice ever again.

    ¡°Gimley?¡± I glanced back up at her. She sat with her head propped on one knee, her arms wrapped around her leg. ¡°You don¡¯t have to do everything. Trust us a little.¡±

    I flushed and hastily looked away from her again while shoving a newly created mental image of the way the light from the pine cone lantern caught her features into a sack in my memory tent. It held other purposefully ignored memories of Prevna and was slowly becoming overstuffed, but I still refused to let that¡­unwelcome awareness of her ruin our friendship. Just like I couldn¡¯t let her think I¡¯d ignore her in favor of injuring myself over and over again just because I could.

    So I forced myself to face her again and nodded with as much earnest confidence as I could muster. I could trust her at least.

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    She grinned back. ¡°Good. You¡¯re more fun to tease when you¡¯re not halfway to the Silver Forest.¡±

    I rolled my eyes and hid my relief that she wasn¡¯t still brooding in the corner.

    - -

    Esie found us at Mishtaw¡¯s place bright and early the next morning. She whistled outside the door to let us know she was there and then whistled again when we met her on the balcony. I had changed into a spare set of clothes so I was no longer wearing the ones that had been ruined between all the attacks I¡¯d taken, but I couldn¡¯t quite hide the stiff way I moved. Prevna also had a few visible scratches and a bandaged cut that peeked out from her sleeve.

    ¡°I heard you went to see Corrin last night, but it looks like you had a rough time of it even before you got a spear to the back,¡± Esie said.

    I kept my chin up. My throat wasn¡¯t completely recovered but I could speak short sentences thanks now that the medicine the healer insisted on had time to work. ¡°They got it worse.¡±

    She grinned. ¡°Glad to hear it.¡± Esie gestured to the walkway that connected Mishtaw¡¯s place to the rest of the residential branch it sprouted from. ¡°I feel like a walk. Gimley, won¡¯t you join me while Prevna catches up with your cohort?¡±

    Prevna accepted the dismissal without a word of protest. We both knew that if Esie was purposefully leaving her out than whatever discussion she wanted to have likely had to do with the Lady of Calm Waters. My ever elusive patron. I¡¯d tell her what I could when we met back later too.

    So Prevna just gently bumped her shoulder against mine and whispered, ¡°Don¡¯t worry I¡¯ll hold Wren¡¯s hand for you.¡±

    I glared at her while she walked away but that just made her chuckle. Her teasing when it came to my supposed crush on Wren had become more infrequent but sometimes she still couldn¡¯t resist a small poke or two. I could never decide if I was more annoyed or relieved that she kept it up.

    Esie stretched and chuckled too. ¡°Something I should know?¡±

    I shook my head and left it at that. Esie effortlessly wasted another minute or two letting me know what she had heard about the death bringer purge in the Cut. She seemed to know that my throat was still too raw to hold a proper conversation, but she carried it on easily enough until we wouldn¡¯t be right on Prevna¡¯s heels when she lead me to whatever she wanted to show me.

    Esie had a penchant for taking me to something beautiful whenever we had one of our talks. Sometimes that meant an ice sculpture carved into the ice vines like the pair of hands she taken me to that first time or sometimes it was as simple as a view of the sunset. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because the places she took me to tended to be deserted or if she liked the excuse to go see whatever she decided to show me. Either way we always walked to where she wanted to go without using the shadows. I was sure she knew I had enough skill now to get at least close to where I wanted to go in the Seedling Palace, if the shadow I needed wasn¡¯t too small. Despite that, we always took the firestarters¡¯ paths even when we went from one side of the Palace to the other.

    This time we ended up in a bright amber sap dome near the bottom of the Caretakers¡¯ tree where the branches were the thickest. The bottom branches of the gigantic pines tended to be where the firestarters lived, but Caretakers¡¯ pine had become a hub of residential areas for whisper women as well shrines for prayer and small areas to relax or reflect in peace. It hadn¡¯t surprised me when I had learned that, technically, the six sects of whisper women were correlated with one of the six pine trees that made up the Seedling Palace. What did surprise me was some of the things that ended up being born out of that association.

    Like this dome. It clearly had no functional purpose other than being a quiet, pretty place. Holes had been cut in the ceiling in the shape of an abstract flower and pine lantern had been hung above, not inside, the dome, so that the light shone down to create the flower pattern on the floor as well. Some benches and ice vines curled along the inside of the dome, but they almost seemed like an afterthought covered in partial shadow compared to the bright pattern dominating the center of the space. A sanctuary, even it was a far cry from the Grove Fellen and I stumbled into when we escaped Flickermark.

    Esie took a long moment to tilt her head back and take in the carved ceiling. I kept my focus on her. I still didn¡¯t know much more about her than the next to nothing I knew about the Lady of Calm Waters. I knew she tended to be easygoing and liked artwork, Mil¡¯s nectar, and the stars. That Kaylan, the lazy sentry, was her lover, and that Esie seemed to take her role as the Lady of Calm Water¡¯s intermediary seriously. Other than that I hadn¡¯t glean much else. I didn¡¯t even know what her blessing was or what sect she technically belonged to.

    Though between her and Mishtaw I got the distinct impression that I seemed to draw in those that didn¡¯t adhere as easily to the strict separation of the different sects.

    Esie directed my attention toward the dome. ¡°What do you think?¡±

    I raised my eyebrows back and shrugged.

    She smiled while slowly shaking her head at that. ¡°No appreciation. Well, best to move on business if you¡¯re that unimpressed.¡± She gave me a narrow eyed look like I couldn¡¯t quite read. ¡°Our Lady would like to call in a favor.¡±

    I stared at her and she grinned, clearly satisfied by shocking me. I choked out, ¡°What? Why?¡±

    Never once since Esie had first offered the Lady of Calm Water¡¯s help had she ever called in favor. I couldn¡¯t imagine why now, out of nowhere, she was suddenly interested in me doing something for her.

    ¡°It came to her esteemed attention that you will be spending some time in the inner valleys of the Lower Broken Spear Peaks. She has a¡­friend there that she would like you to meet. That friend can be quite elusive so if you manage to meet her and give her this,¡± Esie held out a small stone with a spiral within a spiral carved into it, ¡°she¡¯ll consider it a favor completed.¡±

    I took the stone and looked it over for a moment before carefully placing it in a pouch. ¡°How will I know?¡±

    Esie shifted so the petals of light slide across her features. ¡°She¡¯s very distinctive. Long hair, long arms, taller than anyone you¡¯ve ever seen.¡± She saw that I was about to protest so she added, ¡°Even Creed¡ªand no it¡¯s not Sonya. This friend isn¡¯t a whisper woman and She doesn¡¯t leave those mountains.¡±

    I blinked. Why would the Lady of Calm Waters care about someone who wasn¡¯t a whisper woman? I got the impression that she had to be fairly high ranked to have Esie as her personal helper, so it seemed doubtful that she would still have connections with a random tribe member.

    Esie patted me on the shoulder. ¡°If you can¡¯t find her, don¡¯t worry. She can¡¯t be found if she doesn¡¯t want to be, so my mistress won¡¯t punish you if you can¡¯t her.¡± She winked. ¡°You¡¯ll just still our Lady that favor.¡±

    My jaw set. I could look for this ¡°friend¡± and help Mishtaw with her relic search at the same time. No matter how much Esie warned me that she¡¯d be difficult to find I wouldn¡¯t fail. Not when this was the first time my patron was putting her trust in me.

 Book 4 - Ch. 16: Diving In

    I found Prevna in the meal area where most Sprouts and some Saplings gathered. It was a wide space with plenty of ice vines and cushions for a crowd to make use of while a few of the Seedling Palace¡¯s unique cooking stones took up space on one side. A handful of firestarters were busy there now preparing for the next meal.

    Prevna sat with a small circle of other Sprouts but I didn¡¯t call out to her right away. Wren and Dera sat across from her holding court while others I didn¡¯t recognize sat between them. Rather than interrupt whatever bit of gossip or story they were gossiping about I made my over to the firestarters to break my fast. It was later than when the morning meal was typically served since I had elected to follow Esie¡¯s example and walk over to where I thought Prevna would be.

    If I had used the shadows I might have popped up directly behind her and, while that was fine during our game, it wasn¡¯t when she was in the middle of a conversation with the others. Last time, I had nearly scared Dera out of her wits when I suddenly appeared behind her and Prevna. So now Prevna blocked me when she was having a particularly good conversation that she didn¡¯t want to be ruined by screaming.

    Since my presence even without popping out shadows unexpectedly could dry up conversations, I took the hint this time and settled elsewhere in the eating area to eat while I waited for her to finish up. I¡¯d have my own time with her once we returned to the lower Broken Spear Peaks and that wasn¡¯t something anyone else in that group could come close to beating.

    Chirp fluttered down onto my head as soon as he noticed me and the bowl of food in my hands. He let out a strong, demanding chirp before he fluttered again to land on the edge of my bowl and opened his beak wide.

    I glowered down at him and ate my next bite without offering him anything. ¡°This isn¡¯t yours.¡±

    He chirped again and went after my fingers in protest. I fumbled, nearly dropping the bowl, before I got his beak captured between two fingers. ¡°No.¡±

    He went after my fingers again as soon as I let him go. I repeatedly told him he wasn¡¯t getting anything but in the end he got a berry and a few seeds from my meal. Wren noticed our antics and offered me a smile over Prevna¡¯s shoulder which, in turn, alerted Prevna that I was there.

    Chirp went back to Wren, immensely proud of himself, as soon as my bowl was scraped clean. Their conversation wrapped up not long after that and the girls I didn¡¯t know left the area and I took over one of the vacated cushions as soon they were gone.

    Dera gave me a worried frown as soon as she noticed my injuries and the stiff way I moved while Wren smiled and raised her eyebrows. ¡°It seems as though you¡¯ve had as eventful of a trip as Prevna said.¡±

    I gave Wren a tight smile back. I wasn¡¯t still wasn¡¯t sure how to deal with her despite no longer getting as nervous as I used to when she looked at me. There was always still some phantom reaction of that, given how she grown even more into her looks, but now my uncertainty around her was more born from never clearly knowing of what she wanted from me.

    She was friendly, of course, just like she was with everyone. Open and charismatic and skilled at keeping conversation from stuttering to stop. But I still didn¡¯t understand why she put in the effort with me when I did little to reward her friendliness. I would have understood it more if she mainly talked to Prevna while I just happened to be around, but now she always directed more of her comments at me than she used to.

    I could understand Dera¡¯s kindness better. She never seemed to fully let go of the time I had fallen from the thin paths and the blame she placed on herself for that. She was interesting too, in that, while she never seemed to get used to how harsh I could be she didn¡¯t avoid me but she also didn¡¯t try to force me into conversation.

    In comparison, it felt like Wren had some type of agenda. Which could be the case, though I wasn¡¯t sure what it could even be, or I was being paranoid like Prevna sometimes liked to tease me about. Either way, it meant I could never quite get words out as easily as everyone else in her presence.

    Prevna smiled back at Wren as well with a glint in her eye before she played off the fight in healer¡¯s caves as nothing more than adventure. ¡°You should have seen the death bringers. I¡¯m sure they regretted the attack more than us in the end.¡± She leaned forward. ¡°I¡¯m more interested in whatever the fog in the inner valleys is hiding.¡±

    Wren and Prevna went back and forth speculating on what we¡¯d find there¡ªeverything from the Dawn Crawler the pickers had hinted at to hidden treasures and crazy monsters.

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    Dera took advantage of a quiet moment while they were thinking of more possibilities to ask, ¡°Do you think you¡¯ll be able to find Mishtaw¡¯s new relic soon? We heard from one of our mentors that we might be able to earn our next boon before the warm season finishes.¡±

    Prevna tilted her head. ¡°The mysterious conditions will be met?¡±

    She nodded.

    Wren added, ¡°It¡¯ll still be dangerous, but she said things are looking more favorable this year than they have since we became seedlings. She wouldn¡¯t say more than that but I¡¯m glad that we¡¯ll finally be able to progress with our boons.¡±

    Dera asked, ¡°Do you think Mishtaw will let you even if you haven¡¯t found the relic yet?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± My tone was just a little too harsh, so I drew drew in a sharp breath and tried to make it more neutral after she flinched. ¡°She wouldn¡¯t hold us back.¡±

    Prevna agreed with me, ¡°We might be pulled right back into the relic hunt afterwards, but if this chance is as rare as it seems I don¡¯t think she¡¯d make us miss it. Do you know how long we have?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Chirp trilled and Wren smiled while she scratched his head. Then she continued, ¡°Our mentor wasn¡¯t certain exactly how long it would take before all the conditions were met. The only clue we got was that she thought the First Flurry would ruin whatever the conditions are, so they¡¯d have to met before then.¡±

    I wished the timeline wasn¡¯t so murky but I was glad that we had at least some kind idea now of when we could earn one of the remaining boons. While practicing our shadow walking was important, we all knew we couldn¡¯t become true whisper women unless we earned all four boons.

    The conversation wrapped up soon after that as Wren and Dera had to head to a practice session, so Prevna and I went back to the healers¡¯ nests to see the healer that had treated us the night before. He fussed just as much as he had then, but there was no denying that his treatments were working.

    All in all, we ended up spending another four days at the Seedling Palace without word from Mishtaw while we continued to heal. By that point, I had half a mind to just walk the shadows back to wherever she was on the mountain but she was blocking her location and Prevna reminded me that she could very well be in the middle of a fight. If she was then our sudden appearance wouldn¡¯t help her and we¡¯d be more likely to get injured again too.

    So we trained as best we could and saw a few others in the cohort, though the conversation mainly stayed the same with speculation about finally being able to earn our third boon. Prevna also refilled the poison in her fingers and I would sometimes take the time to look over the new poisons I had put in my pouch when she wasn¡¯t there to question me about them. I knew she¡¯d get too excited about them when I wasn¡¯t sure if I¡¯d actually use them yet.

    Eventually, Sonya found us out on Mishtaw¡¯s balcony. ¡°Recovering well?¡±

    I moved my arm a bit to show that my shoulder was healing quickly and well due to the fussy healer. ¡°Well enough.¡±

    Sonya glanced at Prevna too and she gave her own confirmation. Sonya sighed and folded herself down so she was closer to eye level with us. ¡°Well then, here¡¯s the deal. The purge is still in full swing. Jin is making sure every nook and cranny of the Cut is swept for potential death bringers which is causing most of the bands to flee. She wants them hunted down too so we can make sure no death bringers are among their number. Normally, Jin would have cut your mentor and her group loose by now so she wouldn¡¯t have to deal with Mishtaw, but she knows about the relic hunt and she¡¯s being petty.¡±

    ¡°Are we stuck at the Seedling Palace then?¡± Frustration burned in my gut at the thought. Of course right when I was given a mission by the Lady of Calm Waters I wouldn¡¯t be able to even start it thanks to Jin.

    ¡°Depends.¡±

    ¡°On what?¡±

    Sonya peered at me. ¡°On how willing you are to dive into something you probably shouldn¡¯t.¡±

    Prevna chuckled and bumped her shoulder against me. ¡°Normally she doesn¡¯t even think about it.¡±

    A smile twitched onto Sonya¡¯s sharp face. ¡°So I¡¯ve heard. Best lay it out for you both then. Mishtaw isn¡¯t ready to give up on her relic hunt, especially not when you were just catching a scent, but her and Eliss and their firestarters can¡¯t get away from Jin¡¯s command for now. You wouldn¡¯t be good to have in the middle of the fighting and killing which is why she hasn¡¯t sent for you, but, if you¡¯re up for it, Mishtaw¡¯s ready to call in another favor to make sure her trail doesn¡¯t go cold. There¡¯s those band folks you helped escort before and they say if you can help them get to where they need to go in the inner valleys to escape the fighting, they¡¯ll help you find the relic.¡±

    I felt Prevna stiffen next to me before she asked, ¡°She wants us take them alone?¡±

    ¡°Aiy! No,¡± Sonya exclaimed. ¡°She¡¯d call in a favor like I said. I¡¯d take you back and then there¡¯ll be another whisper woman and her firestarter helping you along. I can¡¯t stick with you since Jin would notice my absence, but you shouldn¡¯t need to worry about that.¡±

    I narrowed my eyes. ¡°Who¡¯d be helping us then?¡±

    Sonya smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t know if you know her but Mishtaw would be calling on Nine Claws herself.¡±

    We blinked back at her. ¡°Nine Claws?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s her title as far as it goes and Jin has no sway over her since she¡¯s not a Peacekeeper.¡±

    Prevna pressed, ¡°Mishtaw trusts her?¡±

    ¡°As do I.¡±

    We looked at each other and had a quick, silent discussion before coming to a decision. Stuck in the Seedling Palace with no mentor and no choice but to wait or take a chance to help my mentor and my patron in one go?

    We faced Sonya again and I said, ¡°We¡¯ll do it.¡±

    She nodded slowly. ¡°So be it, little diver.¡±

    We gathered our things quickly and then Sonya held out her hands. We took them and she took us back to the lower Broken Spear Peaks.

 Book 4 - Ch. 17: Nine Claws

    Sonya left quickly after she delivered us to the mountainside. We ended up in a divot that had a couple of trees and bushes protecting one side while the higher ground rose on the other. The band members we¡¯d be escorting didn¡¯t fill up the small space nearly as much as they would have days before. Only Kuma, Jika, and the younger injured man remained from our original escort group. There was also the sick boy that they seemed to have taken under their wing, but his presence only added to reminder of those that hadn¡¯t made it.

    It seemed that the others¡¯ bodies had been abandoned where they lay to become shamble men. The whisper women wouldn¡¯t waste their resources and put themselves at risk to recover bodies that wouldn¡¯t even be properly taken care of in funeral pyres after the surprise attack. Pickers not getting to mourn was less important than the horde of death bringers Jin was insisting had infested the Cut and surrounding mountains.

    However, the clear disregard for the Pickers¡¯ priorities was displayed by nothing more than the fact that Prevna¡¯s and my traveling packs and a spear were sitting in the small clearing. While no one would return for the bodies, they had gone back through the healer¡¯s cave to gather our things. We had brought some emergency supplies with us from the Seedling Palace because we hadn¡¯t been sure if our packs would be recovered after the fight. There certainly hadn¡¯t been time to grab them during it. Prevna and I shared a look before we quietly began consolidating our things.

    Mirabeth and Desai were nowhere to be seen. Jika told Prevna that Mishtaw and Eliss had forced them to heal everyone as best they could one last time before they were taken elsewhere. She had no idea if they were being interrogated further or punished.

    I put them out of my mind. We had no way to get involved with whatever they were going through and, even we could, they had enabled a death bringer to kill countless people. I held no sympathy for them. It wouldn¡¯t come as a surprise if they were labeled as death bringers themselves with the rampage Jin was on.

    Prevna and I were trying to make the other take the spear when Nine Claws arrived with her firestarter. We both caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of our eyes before we whipped around and saw her step smoothly out of the shadow of a nearby pine, grasping the hand of her firestarter.

    Nine Claws was short. That was the first thing I noticed¡ªthat she was maybe an inch or two taller than me at most, but her arms and legs were thick with toned muscle. The second thing was her red hair. It wasn¡¯t Dera¡¯s sunset red, but more of a darker shade similar to the red sands surrounding First Shore Lake that complemented her olive skin well. Her bless mark curved around the outside corner of both her eyes in small crescents that had little thorns poking off them.

    Her firestarter was a woman of more average height and a leaner build. Her straight black hair was bound up in a bun and somehow held in place with a singular carved stick. The firestarter carried a large pack on her back while Nine Claws only her belt full of pouches around her waist and secondary wide belt over one shoulder full of sewn pockets. They both moved with purpose and barely made a sound as they strode into the middle of the clearing.

    Nine Claws flicked her gaze over everyone, rapidly taking in details about all of us, while her firestarter started introductions. ¡°I¡¯m Malady. This is Helena, though most know her as Nine Claws. We will be escorting you through the inner valleys at Mishtaw¡¯s request. Listen to our directions quickly and fully and we should have little difficulty. Your names?¡±

    Prevna introduced herself first before dragging me up to go next and all the Pickers followed suit. That was when I learned the last two names of group that I had neglected before. The younger man from the Red Hand band was named Gard while the boy went by Colt.

    Malady asked, ¡°Where do you need to go?¡±

    Jika seemed like she was trying to swallow her fear and exhaustion but more than a little still showed on her face. ¡°There¡¯s a band in the inner valleys. Near the northwest, I think. They might not take all of us in but we can¡¯t stay here and we likely can¡¯t get back to our band without being killed with the way things are.¡±

    ¡°If they don¡¯t, we won¡¯t be escorting you further.¡±

    Jika clenched her fists. ¡°That¡¯s fine. We¡¯ll make it work.¡±

    Malady nodded and that must have been some sort of signal because then¡­Helena took charge of the conversation for the first time. ¡°What do you know of the inner valleys?¡±

    Jika glanced at the other Pickers but they all kept quiet so she would keep being their spokesperson. She shrugged, a bit defeated. ¡°Not much. There¡¯s the fog that¡¯ll make you lose your wits and fall asleep. We provide the secret tribe with the seeds they need to live in the fog but I don¡¯t actually know what they do to get the seeds to fully work. That¡¯s something only our leader knows.¡±

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    The whisper woman held up a large pouch. ¡°Mishtaw provided me with seeds the Peacekeepers acquired after telling me their secret. They must be roasted with grounder grass before mixed with water. We¡¯ll drink the result.¡±

    She handed the bag over to Malady who set to work right away making a small fire with dried dung she pulled out of a pouch and a handful of fallen twigs. By the time Malady was pulling out a small pot, Helena had come over to Prevna and me.

    Prevna pressed her shoulder against mine but I noticed she didn¡¯t stand. If she had, she would have been taller than our escort. Still, she didn¡¯t hesitate to ask, ¡°Do you prefer to be called Helena or Nine Claws?¡±

    An expression flickered across the whisper woman¡¯s face so fast I couldn¡¯t even guess what it had been. ¡°Nine Claws.¡±

    I held in a sigh of relief. Nine Claws seemed to suit the tough looking whisper woman much more than her birth name.

    Prevna cocked her head to the side. ¡°Why?¡±

    This time the whisper woman did smile. ¡°I earned it.¡± Nine Claws focused on Prevna. ¡°What¡¯s your blessing?¡±

    Prevna wiggled her fingers and explained how her blessing worked and what poisons she had access to. After that Nine Claws turned her attention to me. She didn¡¯t ask me what my blessing was; I could tell that she already knew it.

    ¡°Mishtaw said you¡¯d be bold enough to dive in unknown territory even without a whisper woman to escort you. Why take the risk?¡±

    I didn¡¯t like being questioned by someone I didn¡¯t even know. She might have come at Mishtaw¡¯s request, and I knew Mishtaw was mostly a good judge of character, but I wasn¡¯t about to let Nine Claws pry into all my thoughts and motivations. So I gave her the most surface level answer I could.

    ¡°I keep my promises.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡±

    Nine Claws left us to go check back in with Malady about how the seeds were coming along. The Pickers had all huddled together and were speaking in low voices while they occasionally glanced at the two new arrivals, but they did seem to be in better spirits than before. Apparently, the presence of a whisper woman and firestarter were more inspiring than Prevna and me despite the way they had been forced to abandon their dead by the Peacekeepers.

    Prevna whispered, ¡°What do you think?¡±

    Grudgingly, I answered, ¡°They¡¯ll get us to where we need to go. Mishtaw wouldn¡¯t send someone unreliable¡­and they look like they know what they¡¯re doing.¡±

    Prevna murmured her agreement.

    Neither one one looked remotely ill at ease despite the unnatural fog we going to enter nor did they seem think escorting our group with only two people would be difficult. If anyone was boldly diving into unknown territory, it was them.

    Malady got the seeds roasted with grounder grass that she had pulled out of another large pouch before she ground down the mixture and doused it with water. That was when the pot began to be passed around.

    ¡°Drink two large mouthfuls, three if you¡¯re on the larger side. That will protect you from the fog for a day.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t keen on drinking from something a handful of people had already drank from, but there were worse things and I wasn¡¯t about to pass up the one thing I needed to gain access to the inner valleys.

    Everyone gathered their things after we all drank our portion. Prevna ended up the spear after I purposefully ignored it right up until we were leaving. She needed the extra protection more than me.

    Nine Claws led the group while Malady took up the rear position and Prevna and I ended up on either side of the Pickers since we were supposed to be part of the escort team. We weren¡¯t far from the lip of the mountain range but our progress was slow. No one had fully recovered from their injuries, except for Prevna, and the Pickers had received less healing than Prevna and me. I was still contending with the puncture wound to my shoulder and the cut across my back, though the later was nearly fully healed.

    Kuma was also moving easier and seemed to be on the way to full recovery while Gard was no longer fevered from his gut wound. However, I didn¡¯t have much hope that his wound wouldn¡¯t get infected again with all the traveling we¡¯d be doing without a healer. It would put stress on his wound and I doubted he¡¯d change his bandages. Jika had largely escaped injury despite all the fights we¡¯d been in, so she was doing fine but there was one person who was the main cause for our slow pace. The boy, Colt. He moved with none of the energy of his namesake and, while he wasn¡¯t so weak he had to be spoon fed like he had been in the healer¡¯s cave, he still got tired easily and couldn¡¯t keep up with everyone else¡¯s longer stride.

    I wasn¡¯t tall or strong enough to easily carry him had I even wanted to and we no longer had a travois to drag him in. Perhaps we could have made one if we took the time to find large enough fallen branches and someone gave up a blanket to line the middle, but instead Prevna, Jika, Kuma, and Gard took turns carrying him on their backs for as long as they could. Not all of the Pickers had traveling packs either, so they would switch out who was carrying those as well. It was an extra burden but the Pickers refused to abandon him and Nine Claws shot any suggestion that she help carry him with a look and declaration that she needed her hands free in case we got attacked.

    Going into the fog was unsettling simply because my memories from the battle on the shore but I also hated the idea of losing control of myself without even realizing it was influencing me. Still, this fog wasn¡¯t as thick as that had been. I could make out Prevna on the other side of our group as well as Nine Claws and Malady in the front and back.

    I waited for the loopiness we had seen in Mishtaw and Creed to creep in but as far as I could tell everyone continued on as normal. So much so that it made me start to doubt that the fog had truly been responsible for their behavior. No one spoke even once we reached the top of the mountain and began to descend into the inner valleys. Though all the Pickers did seem to pause or miss a step as we started downwards and I had to wonder if there was some reason that they neglected to mention for why they had insisted on being escorted to their destination.

 Book 4 - Ch. 18: The Inner Valleys

    The further down we went into the inner valleys the more it felt like we were stepping into another world. A different domain from the goddess¡¯s, though such a thing was difficult to truly imagine, especially so close to the heart of Her territory.

    The air became warm and sticky, even hotter than the hottest warm season days I could remember. The fog overlaid everything, but it was just thin enough to give the impression that it wasn¡¯t truly limiting our perception since we could see our immediate surroundings. I still didn¡¯t like being unable to see into the distance and the way it muffled sounds, but at least it wasn¡¯t the same unnatural quiet as on the mountainside.

    The plants changed too. Flowers with bright colors and long petals created broke through the haze the fog created while bushes with waxy leaves and tempting looking berries forced us into taking a weaving path down into the valley.

    However, the thing that struck us dumb and still was a tree with a slim trunk and frondlike branches sticking out every which way from its top.

    It was not a pine tree.

    Perhaps if you squinted and tilted your head it could be vaguely like a pine tree with most of its branches sacrilegiously cut off and pine needles that had grown abnormally thick and long. But that was only if you were generous and half blind.

    It wasn¡¯t a pine tree. Even if having another type of tree in the goddess¡¯s territory was unthinkable. They were Her universal symbol; a reminder that we lived in Her domain at the mercy of Her unpredictable will. They were a reminder of the respect She demanded and knowledge that our survival was not the goddess¡¯s top priority. After all pine trees provided things integral to our survival but we could not so much as snap a twig from a living branch without fearing Her wrath.

    Pine trees were at the center of many important boons and skills such as shadow walking as well as everything from basic survival for tribes given the tools and fires they made with dropped branches to how we understood the afterlife.

    They were a symbol of the goddess¡¯s power. The main symbol as far as many were concerned since Her other attributes weren¡¯t always so easy to come across and they could signified with the pine tree as well, such as its shadow for darkness.

    And yet, despite all that¡­there was not a single pine tree within eyesight. Just more of the unnatural trees¡­including others that didn¡¯t seem remotely similar to original tree we found.

    Did the goddess not extend Her influence here? And why would She bother with allowing these other trees to live if She did? Were the tree¡¯s branches safe to use or would we be cursed upon touching them?

    The forest of unnatural trees that had risen up in front us suddenly seemed like its own horrid version of the Statue Garden. Except worse. Shamble men at least were created out of the goddess¡¯s will. These things were not. There was no doubt in my mind about that.

    Malady shot a look the Pickers. ¡°Did you know about this?¡±

    Jika vehemently shook her head. ¡°Sometimes we heard rumors from the secret band but they never mentioned anything like¡±¡ªshe gestured weakly at the tree¡ª¡°like this.¡±

    I doubted that. How could they neglect to mention something so fundamentally bizarre and wrong? Either Jika had spectularly failed to pay attention or perhaps this was another secret Nerco, her leader, had kept to herself.

    ¡°Do they use the wood from the valleys?¡± Malady continued her questioning.

    Jika shrugged carefully, like she was afraid of disappointing the firestarter but couldn¡¯t think of a better answer. ¡°They must¡ªunless there are pine trees deeper in the mountains. I¡¯ve never heard of them fighting another band for dropped limbs.¡±

    Malady didn¡¯t look pleased with the lack of clear answers but Nine Claws gave a brisk nod and led the way forward again. Though I noticed her movements were even more smooth and careful than before.

    She said, ¡°Be careful of where you step and what you touch. This place is likely a remnant of the Other.¡±

    Her vague warning immediately caught Prevna¡¯s interest. ¡°The Other?¡±

    ¡°Azabel.¡± Our group sucked in a collective breath at the unexpected mention of the goddess¡¯s often ignored sister. Nine Claws continued, ¡°It¡¯s said the goddesses made pockets more suited to their tastes in each other¡¯s territory back when they were on friendly terms. Given the oddities of this place this is likely one of them¡ªand it is also said that not even the Beloved can always influence the goddess when it comes to Her sister.¡±

    Jika seemed about ready to bolt back up the mountainside. ¡°Perhaps we should just go around¡­¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    Malady seamlessly expanded on Nine Claw¡¯s sharp rebuke. ¡°We promised to escort you through the inner valleys and so we will. The goddess doesn¡¯t provide trials you cannot overcome.¡±

    I barely managed to keep from turning around and staring at her with open incredulity. Of course the goddess provided trials that overwhelmed everyone subjected to them. She didn¡¯t care one whit whether we died or were permanently injured, much less whether a particular situation would prove too much for its recipient.

    While those of us connected to Seedling Palace might have marginally more importance than regular tribe or band members, I sincerely doubted that the goddess considered us much at all. And if She did, you didn¡¯t want the attention since that was as likely to kill you as any trial might.

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    Still, no one directly contradicted Malady¡¯s statement. She was part of the pair meant to get us through this surreal place, so no one wanted to get on her bad side right away. I ended up glaring at the ground in front of my feet.

    We continued into the valley even as we gave the weird trees as much space as we could and we took several breaks to give those carrying Colt a break. I wasn¡¯t sure how Nine Claws was keeping her bearings. With the fog we couldn¡¯t use any of the usual markers, like the sun¡¯s position or the stars, but she strode forward like she knew exactly where we were without so much as leaving markers for us to retrace our steps if need be.

    I vaguely knew where we were simply because if I went back up hill I should end up at the mountain¡¯s crest but I had since lost any certainty of which way we were supposed to be going to reach the secret tribe. Nor was I the only one. The Pickers were all visibly becoming more anxious and uncertain the deeper we pressed into the valley. Perhaps they thought this unnatural place would end up being our foggy prison through sheer lack of direction or landmarks.

    Irritatingly enough, Prevna seemed mostly normal as she gazed around at our weird surroundings. Sometimes she¡¯d flash me a knowing smile or indicate a plant that would have been interesting to inspect under normal circumstances, but she didn¡¯t seem concerned about getting lost or inciting the goddess¡¯s wrath. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because she was used to traveling to all sorts of places due to growing up in her mother¡¯s band and thus had a better sense of direction or if she just trusted that Nine Claws would make everything work out or both.

    I¡¯d roll my eyes back at her and gesture at all the weird plants. Even if I still had my healer¡¯s beads I wasn¡¯t sure if I would have been foolhardy enough to mess with plants that had no right to exist in the goddess¡¯s domain.

    However, part of me did wish I could break away from the group to look for the Lady of Calm Water¡¯s mysterious friend. If she was as elusive as Esie made it sound than I doubted that I¡¯d be able to find her tromping around with a group. Especially when everyone in that group except for Prevna didn¡¯t know about the second mission I had been given. I had brought her up to date once we were back at Mishtaw¡¯s place and waiting to hear when we¡¯d be going back to the Cut.

    We traveled through the inner valleys that day without incident until Nine Claws found a small clearing we could rest in with a stream nearby. The water was¡­warmer than it should have been but it didn¡¯t taste off and we didn¡¯t have another option, so we all used it to replenish our water skins and prepare for the evening meal.

    Well, Malady and the Pickers used it to prepare for the evening meal while Prevna and I had some of what the Pickers made. Malady had only made food for herself and Nine Claws. For now the Pickers were using twigs and other fuel they had gathered while they waited on the mountainside but sooner than later we¡¯d have to use some wood from the unnatural trees if we wanted fire. Malady had dried dung and her own twigs she was carrying in her large pack but she wasn¡¯t keen on sharing.

    I don¡¯t think anyone slept well that night surrounded by the warm, damp air and lacking anything familiar. Not even Malady had brought a tent so if it rained we¡¯d all be out in the downpour and uncomfortable, but I¡¯m sure sleeping inside one would have been even more stifling. Prevna and I hadn¡¯t brought ours along when we insisted on escorting the injured since we hadn¡¯t thought we¡¯d need it and it would have been a burden to carry when we need to be stealthy but now it did seem like a waste to have abandoned it with a Picker band we barely knew.

    It took me hours to fall asleep that night and when I did monstrously long fingers wrapped around my throat and face again. I wanted to turn and see who was holding me, strike at them for daring to do so, but my body wouldn¡¯t move.

    That voice that I vaguely recalled from another dream like grinding earth and hissing breath spoke from behind me. Pressing me with questions. ¡°What do you look for? What do you yearn for?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t answer. Wouldn¡¯t have been able to even if one long finger wasn¡¯t pressed across my lips even as its fingernail pricked my ear.

    Healing always came to mind first but that no longer felt like the complete truth. Prevna came to mind next¡ªthe terrifying and unspoken need for her safety and trust and support and absolutely nothing else.

    But that didn¡¯t seem like the answer the voice was looking for either. It pressed me further.

    ¡°What do you wish to be? What do you strive to become?¡±

    There was only answer I could give: a whisper woman. There was simply no other choice at this point. But that didn¡¯t seem to be enough for the voice. It spoke again like it could hear my thoughts.

    ¡°Where is the detail? What faction? What position? What boon or skill would you define yourself by? What do you wish for?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t answer. I knew what path she had wanted me to follow: to usurp Lithunia, the High Preistess and take her place as one of the Chosen. The idea of it had some appeal but I couldn¡¯t say I actually wanted to be so close to the goddess¡¯s eye. But other than that I hadn¡¯t actually taken time to plan, to think about what else I could aim for.

    The fingers tightened around my face and neck. ¡°What binds you?¡±

    I woke up with a start and glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed. Only Nine Claws was awake and she sat with her back to the low burning embers that remained of the fire. Still, she did seem to notice that I was awake as she shifted to glance me before murmuring, ¡°Take the watch until dawn. It shouldn¡¯t be too long now.¡±

    I pushed down the need to glare at her for the sudden demand and nodded. I wasn¡¯t sure if she knew I wouldn¡¯t be able to fall back asleep easily after the nightmare or if she was simply ready to get more sleep herself, but either way being difficult wouldn¡¯t be helpful and I didn¡¯t want to disappoint her after Mishtaw had went so far as to call in a favor to get her here.

    As soon as she determined I was in place and properly paying attention to our surroundings, Nine Claws laid down on her bedroll and seemed to fall asleep within moments.

    My hand clenched into a fist. The nightmare was still as clear as the first. The incessant questions and the last one that lingered with me after I awoke.

    I knew what bound me. I was still treating becoming a whisper woman like I had treated gaining every scrap of healer¡¯s knowledge. Desperately trying to increase my skills and prove myself worthy of more tidbits even as there was the uncomfortable certainty in the background that somehow, someway in the future I would lose everything I gained. Whisper women were not healers. Everyone knew that but I had clung to what I learned anyway to try to make the impossible possible for as long as I could.

    Now I was clinging to my skill with shadow walking and tactics to prove I was capable of learning whatever came next with no real thought to where I might end up as whisper women. Part of that had to do with the mentor ban but, even if I didn¡¯t want to admit it, part of it also had to do with it being difficult for me to picture myself as a full whisper woman. It felt as if I¡¯d be trapped in some unending near death or on the wrong side of the goddess¡¯s ire and have my blessing and everything else stripped from me again.

    I wrestled with those thoughts until the fog brightened enough to indicate that the sun had risen. By then the others were waking and I pasted a blank look on face so no one could guess that a mere nightmare was disturbing me.

 Book 4 - Ch. 19: Building Heat

    Malady made the seed and grounder grass mixture right away in the morning so we could all have our share before the fog¡¯s effects had a chance to set in. We broke our fast with travel rations made of dried meat and ground plants. The bars were held together by a liberal amount of melted fat. All in all, they lasted a good while even if they weren¡¯t the most appetizing, and Prevna and I both had a handful stuffed into our packs due to Mishtaw¡¯s teaching. The Pickers had made their own with a small deer the Peacekeepers had given them while they were recovering and Malady had naturally come prepared for herself and Nine Claws. We had some other provisions like the meal we had the night before, but I couldn¡¯t help but be concerned about provisions as we resumed our trek through the unfamiliar terrain.

    We might have supplies now but we could only carry so much and most of our group hadn¡¯t been given time to prepare since things kept taking unexpected turns ever since we set foot on the mountain. If Prevna and I hadn¡¯t been given our packs back we wouldn¡¯t have had any food for the trip prepared since Sonya had delivered us back to the mountainside practically as soon as she gave us the option. Granted that lapse was on us as we could have taken the time to get supplies from a firestarter but, generally, the thought was that you could hunt and gather as you traveled.

    I eyed the bare, armored looking trunk of the unnatural trees, the large, harshly bright flowers with their waxy leaves, the scrubby bushes with plump strangely shaped berries that could be just as poisonous as they were enticing. A landscape that completely lacked anything familiar.

    I hated it. Hated the way it made my stomach twist and my mind go numb with the realization that all my skills and knowledge I had gained up to this point were useless. My knowledge of plants, poisons, shadow walking¡­all of it was useless when the plants I knew and relied upon were nowhere to be found. It made me even more conscious of what I had on my person since I doubted we could adequately gather and hunt when everything else was unknown to us.

    Even so, we¡¯d have to try eventually. I wasn¡¯t sure how long it¡¯d take to get to Jika¡¯s mysterious band but I doubted it¡¯d be shorter than the day or two it¡¯d take for us to run out of provisions, depending on how many meals we ate in a day. Not when we didn¡¯t have a clear idea of where we were going. The food could stretch longer if we only ate a meal a day, but that would likely create other problems. Being constantly hungry and tired didn¡¯t pair well with vigilance.

    The heat was another problem all on its own. We had all quietly shed our typical layers so that we only wore our lightest clothing but there was only so much we could do. Even our warm season clothing was made for colder weather than this and pushing up sleeves and taking off cloaks could only do so much. I was concerned about my pack chaffing but it wasn¡¯t long before I joined Prevna in stripping all the way down to my breast band. Gard was bare chested too and once Kuma and Jika saw Nine Claws stuff her tunic into her pack they quickly followed suit. Only Malady stubbornly kept her shirt on in the end though all of our lower halves had to suffer. It¡¯d be stupid to hike through an unknown place without shoes and no one had thought bringing a dress or skirt on a dangerous mission could be justified or smart.

    It felt like we were breathing in soup and it was impossible to completely relax given the way sweat was constantly collecting in uncomfortable places. Nor was there a good way to cool down except for waiting for night fall. The water was warm, the wind was warm, and the sticky heat could even find you in the shade.

    As we continued pushing forward I couldn¡¯t help but think the smarter option would have been to skirt around the valley along the tops of the mountains even if that would have added more time and a higher chance of being attacked. There might not have been anything to hunt on that part of the mountains either, but at least we would have been close to familiar landscape and not smothered in heat. From the Pickers¡¯ stiff and uncomfortable faces I knew I wasn¡¯t alone in thinking it, but they couldn¡¯t complain to a whisper woman¡ªand if we did manage to get them to the secret band then they¡¯d be living in the inner valleys with no escape from the unfortunate surroundings.

    ¡°Quite the turn of events, huh?¡±

    I blinked and looked over to find that Kuma had slipped up next me. I wasn¡¯t sure why she had bothered to seek me out, but she wasn¡¯t alone in having relaxed enough to attempt conversation. Prevna seemed to be engaged in a earnest conversation with Colt and Jika on the other side of the group. It was a bit annoying to see how easily they got along, even if I was glad Prevna was enjoying herself, so I focused back on Kuma and waited to hear what she wanted to say.

    Once she realized I wasn¡¯t going to verbally respond Kuma took the silence in stride and resumed her part of the conversation. ¡°I never thought the healer¡¯s group would be doing what they did or that we¡¯d lose so many but¡­I thought I should thank you for doing what you did back when we were attacked in the forest. I might not have known what to think when you disappeared that man into thin air but the truth is I¡¯d be shamblin¡¯ along with the others if you hadn¡¯t.¡±

    I stared straight ahead and gave her a tight nod of acknowledgment. Gratitude was never lightly given and I wasn¡¯t sure how to respond to it. Maybe if I kept the conversation one-sided long enough she¡¯d give up and leave.

    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    She peered down at me. ¡°Is your shoulder recovering alright? That was a wound you shouldn¡¯t have had to take.¡±

    Carrying my pack wasn¡¯t the most comfortable for my healing wounds but it wasn¡¯t aggravating them either. I moved my arm a bit to demonstrate like I had with Sonya and said, ¡°Well enough.¡±

    She nodded and kept pace beside me for awhile before she got pulled into another conversation Gard. At which point Prevna showed up with a grin to take her place.

    ¡°Making friends?¡±

    I scowled at her for the comment and she chuckled before continuing to tease me. ¡°While I might adore being one of few to understand all the little tricks to understanding your looks there might be others interested in taking up the challenge.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t need to.¡±

    She poked me. ¡°You¡¯re not even a little bit curious who the others might be?¡±

    I rolled my eyes back at her. ¡°Do I look interested?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re never interested. That¡¯s the problem.¡± Prevna¡¯s knowing smile faded and when she spoke again her tone was more serious than before. ¡°What are you going to do if we end up in different sects?¡±

    That was a possibility I had been purposefully ignoring and it definitely wasn¡¯t something I wanted to think about when Prevna was the only familiar, steadying thing remotely nearby. So I copied one of her techniques and deflected with dry humor.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll survive.¡±

    ¡°Gimley.¡±

    ¡°You get along with everyone so you¡¯ll be fine too.¡±

    She grabbed my hand just long enough for my knee jerk reaction to kick in and make me look at her. I didn¡¯t flinch at the unexpected contact though and one corner of her mouth turned up as she noticed that too. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t ignore everyone except for the people who are too bullheaded to listen to your warnings.¡±

    I frowned at her. ¡°Maybe those people aren¡¯t worth knowing.¡±

    It was her turn to roll her eyes before she quipped, ¡°Maybe they have a better self-preservation instinct.¡±

    We shared a smile before letting silence sink in between us. Part of me wanted to leave things at that for now, but the longer we walked the more my morbid curiosity grew about why she had brought up the possibility of being separated now. When I asked why she brought up the sects her smile turned more somber and she waved a hand to take in our surroundings.

    ¡°Everything changes.¡± Then Prevna poked me in the shoulder again. ¡°And you¡¯re not so quick to adapt to it. Not when it comes to what you consider important.¡±

    I wanted to cross my arms but the heat and sweat made that uncomfortable to do for long. ¡°I do fine on my own. And Mishtaw and Eliss aren¡¯t even in the same sect and they¡¯re constantly together.¡±

    Prevna gave me a look that said we both knew that they were a special case.

    I stuck to my point. ¡°We¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°Of course we will, but that doesn¡¯t mean you can¡¯t maybe, possibly, take a few moments to consider making another proper friend. Even if its just someone else in the cohort like Wren or Breck. Or Juniper. She might need it as much as you now that Ento and Idra are off in their own little world.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    The thought of truly opening to someone else still made my stomach turn sour. Prevna might have wormed her way in through sheer dedication and noticing too much and, truthfully, I had gotten closer with some of the others she named. But those connections hadn¡¯t grown nearly as much as what I had with Prevna. They couldn¡¯t with the way I carefully managed them and the lack of time we had with the others since we were always traveling with Mishtaw¡¯s squad.

    Prevna had always tried to get me to open up to the others more and welcome them in as she did, but she used to be more subtle about it. Sometimes she still was, but it seemed that the looming thought of the cohort being divided was pushing her to push me more overtly. Still, we both let the matter drop again as we continued deeper in the inner valleys.

    It wasn¡¯t long after that that Nine Claws held up a hand and we all clumped closer together and stood still at the silent signal. She scanned our fog covered surroundings like she could see beyond the thick layer of white. Her other hand hovered near one of the daggers on her belt.

    Her voice cut through the silence though she spoke softly. ¡°We¡¯re being hunted.¡± She let that sink in for one moment for she continued, ¡°Don¡¯t panic. Stay close and between me and Malady. If it decides to attack we¡¯ll turn the surprise back on it.¡±

    Our group subtly shifted so that Gard and Colt were on the inside of the circle while Nine Claws covered the front, Malady the back, Prevna and I on the left, while Jika and Kuma covered the right. Pickers might have been jacks of all trades but when it came down to it, it was difficult to deny what was ingrained so deeply you hardly had to think about it. Huntresses protected against threats, first and foremost.

    Nine Claws increased our pace from there but not to the point that we¡¯d be gasping for breath in a handful of minutes. It was near the middle of the day now from what I could tell and the heat was relentless, but no one bothered to complain. Either we pushed far enough that whatever was stalking us lost interest or we¡¯d reach a better place to make a stand.

    The trouble was that I was sure Nine Claws didn¡¯t want to give up the high ground and yet we kept going further and further down the mountain. Perhaps some type of pack was herding us toward their hunting grounds but she couldn¡¯t attack one and break through without providing an easy opening for the other enemies to attack. Maybe she thought she could handle whatever it was no matter where we were or she didn¡¯t want to deviate from whatever progress we were making towards the secret Picker band. Either way we continued down and down and down while the heat and tension grew more tension. No one spoke.

    I couldn¡¯t say how long it was later when we finally broke free of of the unnatural forest and into a open plain. I heard a few breaths of relief from being free from its confines but that sentiment couldn¡¯t last long when something glowed orangish-red through the fog ahead of us. We cautiously approached it, still keeping a careful watch for whatever was hunting us, until we saw that our way was blocked by a river of liquid fire.

 Book 4 - Ch. 20: Cat vs Plant and Rat

    We cautiously approached the river of fire even as the feeling of being hunted closed in around us. I knew I wasn¡¯t alone in straining my eyes and ears for a hint of whatever Nine Claws had noticed. As we got closer to the winding barrier blocking our path, it became clear it was less of a river of fire and more of a stream of molten rock that was so hot it made the air shift. If it had been made of water we could have jumped over it with a running start and possibly paid the price of a wet foot if someone accidentally slipped. As it was¡­I had treated my share of burns and I didn¡¯t even want to consider what touching that molten rock would do compared to a cooking fire.

    Even Nine Claws hesitated in the face of the unnatural obstacle. She had been confident and collected from the beginning, not even showing much more than determination when she announced we were being hunted, but it was clear this obstacle hadn¡¯t been in her plans. Of course, I still didn¡¯t trust how she was so assured of where she was headed in the first place when, from what I knew, she hadn¡¯t been in the inner valleys before, but Mishtaw had gotten her to be our guide so it made sense that she¡¯d have skills that paired well with traversing it.

    No way back and no way forward. Not without danger or any assurance that where¡¯d we end up would be better than the plain we were standing in. If it was a pack of monsters after us than they¡¯d be able to surround us and trap us against the lava stream, but at the same time we had more room to maneuver on the plain and the stream meant we had one side we knew we weren¡¯t being hunted from. And having even that little bit of assurance in such a foggy landscape could be helpful.

    Nine Claws seemed to have come the same conclusion. ¡°We¡¯ll make our stand here. Those of you with spears cover the sides and stab at anything at comes close. Everyone else, cover the spear wielders with your slings. Keep your backs to the¡­stream but don¡¯t get so careless that you let something slip up behind you or accidentally step in it.¡±

    Everyone nodded and Prevna asked, ¡°What will you be doing?¡±

    ¡°Malady and I will fight what¡¯s hunting us.¡± Nine Claws focused on her firestarter and started a conversation we had no context to understand. ¡°Impressions are coming from First and Third, but some of the others have sent weaker signals. Might be a swarm. I¡¯ll keep the Claws separated for now but if we need more power I¡¯ll merge them.¡±

    Malady didn¡¯t so much as frown despite what little sense what Nine Claws had said made. It made me wish more whisper women were open about their skills and abilities, so it didn¡¯t feel like I was in the middle of a guessing game as soon those things became relevant.

    Rather the firestarter calmly set down her giant pack and flipped its top flap open. ¡°Fire edges?¡±

    ¡°Those aren¡¯t Her trees but we also shouldn¡¯t risk putting this whole place ablaze without any water nearby.¡±

    Malady pulled a club nearly the length of my arm out of her bag. It was carved with clear skill given how smooth it looked but it also looked somewhat discolored in splotches. Like it had hit too many things for Malady to completely clean the blood away.

    ¡°Smash and bash then.¡±

    Nine Claws nodded back and they headed back into the fog until they were just on the edge of what we could see. Prevna positioned herself front and center of our group, spear in hand and at the ready, while Kuma and Jika took up position on either side of her. They had a spear each too and this time we would be fighting a group we didn¡¯t have to worry about killing.

    Gard kept a protective hold on Colt while I set myself up behind the spear wielders before I had to face an obvious problem. They were all taller than me.

    Even if I preferred using my sling to hit any encroaching enemies I¡¯d be more likely to nail one of them in the head or miss an attacker because they were blocking my view. I didn¡¯t necessarily want to be on the front line with a spear but I¡¯d be more use there than standing in the back unable to do anything.

    I poked Kuma and Jika before crossing my arms when they glanced back at me. ¡°Which one of you is better with a sling?¡±

    Jika looked confused by the question but I saw the realization in Kuma¡¯s eyes when she looked between our front line and me. She handed me her spear. ¡°I¡¯ll switch you. No doubt you got more practice fighting than we do. My good arm is fine too so I shouldn¡¯t have trouble flinging stones either.¡±

    It was more of an explanation than the situation strictly warranted but I could tell she was trying not to embarrass me by coming up with a reason for the switch other than that I was too short to do a good job at providing support.

    I took her place on the left with the spear while Gard and Kuma readied their slings. Prevna gave me an amused glance as I stepped up next to her before she refocused on the fog ahead of us and the silhouettes of Nine Claws and Malady.

    Lights appeared in the fog, similar to how the river of fire had looked before we got close to it, but these lights were much smaller and they bobbed and weaved instead of staying in place. At first there was only a handful before the number doubled and doubled again. It didn¡¯t take long for the stretch of fog around us to be filled with dozens of seemingly floating lights, though they all stayed close to the ground. A swarm, just like Nine Claws had said.

    With the lights came a slurping, sucking sound and the stench of something decaying. We all tensed further. The sound didn¡¯t time well with the movements of the lights and seemed to be heavier than what their darting movements implied. I didn¡¯t have much time to figure out much more than that before the first light managed to swing wide of Nine Claw¡¯s and Malady¡¯s position.

    An enlarged rat with patchy fur and glowing front teeth burst out of the fog. I stared at it for a moment longer than I should have before a spectral cat leapt out of the fog from the side, snatched the rat up by its neck, shook the rat once, twice, and broke its neck. The spectral cat dropped the downed rat and was racing after other prey before the rat¡¯s foot gave a final twitch.

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    It happened so quickly and the cat blended in so well with the fog that I doubted what I had seen at first before it happened again. At that point I couldn¡¯t deny spectral cats were battling on the field and seemed to be on our side given the dead rats they left behind. I spared a glance for where Malady was bludgeoning rats to death while Nine Claws slashed at them with her hands. Perhaps the cats were her blessing.

    We speared a handful of rats that got too close before a cat could take them out while the slurping, sucking sound got louder. As it did the press of rats increased.

    Kuma and Gard knocked rats out or off course with the rocks they threw with their slings to ease the pressure on Prevna, Jika, and me. I¡¯d hear the whistling wind up of a sling twirling before a rock shot out over my head. Sometimes I¡¯d also hear a whimper from Colt but he did the best thing he could in this situation¡ªstay still and out of the way. If he had gone sprinting away out of fear he likely would have been swarmed before we could get to him and we could have been overwhelmed too if we tried to go after him.

    My world narrowed down to the spear in my hands, Prevna¡¯s movements, and the rats bursting through the fog one after another. The dead ones piled around our feet, forming a bit of morbid barrier, but one we also had to be careful not to slip on.

    Then something whipped through the fog and met the ground with an awful slap, breaking my concentration. A long tendril stretched out along the ground from near where Nine Claws and Malady were still fighting. It looked like a mass of lakeweed and algae all tangled together even though it was longer than me twice over and moving as no plant should. I traced it back to its main body, though I couldn¡¯t make it out clearly in fog. More plant matter moving as if it was alive in a large mound and other tentacles trying to snag prey.

    The distraction cost us.

    Jika screamed as a rat sank its burning teeth into her arm. I smelled burning flesh and then suddenly I had to cover Prevna¡¯s position as well as my own since she instinctively went to help the other girl. Kuma snatched up the spear Jika dropped and shoved her out of the way to help me keep the rest of the rats at bay. A commotion happened behind me as Prevna and Gard cursed but I just kept stabbing rats and hoped the one on Jika¡¯s arm didn¡¯t bite me from behind.

    There was a high pitched squeal and a moment later Prevna took up my old spot on the left while I shifted my focus to just protecting the middle. I tuned out Jika¡¯s gasps and crying even though the training I could never fully divorce myself from was insisting I treat the wound as soon as possible.

    During the moments we got to breathe between the rush of endless rats I took in what I could of the other fight. Now spectral cats were no longer dashing around the field, instead, at some point, a giant spectral cat had risen up beside Nine Claws and was directly battling the plant monster. The cat had two heads and nine whip-like tails, and it seemed more¡­solid than the smaller cats had. It tore into the monster while plant tendrils tried to smack and strangle it into submission. In some places where the plant monster was concentrating its efforts the spectral cat blended in more with the fog, like it was losing the ability to maintain its form.

    Nine Claws was no longer fighting. She stood still, very focused on the fight between monsters, while Malady laid waste to the rats that dared try to attack her. Sometimes Nine Claws spared enough attention to toss something from her pouches into a crowd of rats, but that was as much as she contributed to fighting the mass of smaller enemies.

    Part of me was worried about them getting overwhelmed but we couldn¡¯t go help. I knew they had separated from us so they could fight without needing to worry about adjusting their fighting to us or protecting the group. Trying to join them would likely just become a costly distraction leading to both them and us being overwhelmed by the unending rats.

    But I didn¡¯t like seeing Nine Claws in the middle of the battle seemingly unable to fully defend herself while she concentrated on her large cat.

    The fight dragged on and on as the storming heat and constant battle drained us. Prevna went to whack a rat away from us with her spear and it caught the spear in its mouth. The wood instantly charred and began to smolder. I killed the rat for her and it dropped off her spear, but a handful of stabs later and the spear broke where the rat¡¯s bite had weakened it.

    Kuma and I shared a look before we wordlessly shifted to cover ground between us. Prevna batted away more rats where she could and used her sling on other ones, but the fight became more exhausting as we had to take on more rats each. And the cracks in our guard widened now that front line had been reduced to two.

    Another desperate fight broke out behind me as a rat darted around my reach and beelined for the group I was protecting. My first instinct was to throw myself in front of it at the thought it might get Prevna but I had to ruthlessly squash that down.

    Kuma wouldn¡¯t hold long on the front line alone and I didn¡¯t want to be useless after getting injured again.

    A victory cry came from behind me. It sounded like Gard had killed the errant rat. We kept fighting.

    And slowly I realized the tide of rats was ebbing from their previous numbers. We kept our guard up even as we got longer and longer moments to breathe and recover from killing rats.

    I took the chance to see how the battle between monsters was going before breathing a sigh of relief. The spectral cat had pinned the plant monster underneath its massive front paws and was savaging it with both of its heads. Plant matter got flung through the fog and splattered down onto the ground.

    Not long after that the rats stopped coming completely and the spectral cat burst apart into nine normal sized cats before those cats disappeared too. Nine Claws slowly lowered herself to the ground in a way that I think was supposed to make it seem like she wasn¡¯t exhausted, so I didn¡¯t comment on it as we finally edged over to her and Malady.

    Malady also didn¡¯t look nearly as put together or uptight as she had since we met her. Instead, she had a slight feral look to her eyes and some of her hair had come loose. Her air of ready violence was only heightened by the blood clinging to her club.

    Most people didn¡¯t use clubs as good branches were usually relegated to spears that were more useful for hunting and pine trees didn¡¯t tend to wide enough branches to make a decent club, but Malady had certainly proven how effective they could be.

    Nine Claws glanced up at us. ¡°Good fight. Keep an eye for stragglers but let¡¯s rest a moment before finding a campsite not covered in carnage.¡±

    I got odd looks but I soaked some moss in water and pressed it against Jika¡¯s burn bite before binding the wound. That much couldn¡¯t be counted as healing I was sure since it was little more than what the average person would do. She hadn¡¯t wanted me to take charge of it but I didn¡¯t give her much choice.

    Others had also gotten bit or scratched from the rats claws and I did what I could for them as well while brushing off any questions. Overall, we had come out of the fight relatively unscathed despite the sheer number of enemies we had faced. I had, surprisingly and contrary to most fights, come out of it with practically no new wounds except for a couple scratches from one tenacious rat. My spear had served me well at keeping them at bay.

 Book 4 - Ch. 21: Serendipity

    I quickly realized my mistake with using my water on everyone¡¯s burn wounds¡ªI had no way to refill it. We hadn¡¯t come across a stream filled with water instead of molten rock since the first night we had camped in the inner valleys. It seemed that the lowest point of the valley didn¡¯t offer much in the way of a habitable landscape¡ªwhich was interesting given that the goddess¡¯s sister was the one known for creating humans and many more creatures than what Heliquat ever bothered with. If one of the two was going to make things easier on their creations I would have assumed Azabel to be the one to do it.

    Instead the middle of the valley was filled with more and more streams of molten rock that merged into one large river. We had to keep backtracking and adjusting our course to try and make our way around the streams since no one was quite desperate enough to risk dipping a foot in their depths. The trouble was it seemed like we¡¯d eventually have to cross one of them to continue on, especially with the state of our supplies, since looping around the streams was eating up a lot of time.

    We were running low on food and water even though we had taken some of the dead rats with us to stretch out our supplies. Prevna had taken the first test bite after we scorched the meat but when she didn¡¯t show any ill effects and said it tasted surprisingly normal we all dug in. No one had dared taste test the plant monster.

    We were running low on fuel for fires too. Since no one was sure how the goddess would react to the unnatural trees being damaged we had stuck to tradition and only gathered up fallen branches and twigs, but since we had slipped between two mountains and into a second valley there hadn¡¯t been many trees to gather from. And the humid heat made it much easier to find myself reaching for my water flask to take a drink to get some small bit of relief from the oppressive air.

    I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if soon we had to make a decision to search out more food, water, and fuel or keep our direct approach towards where we thought the mysterious Picker band was located and hope we made it before we succumbed to exhaustion or the fog. After all, we needed fire to roast the seeds with grounder grass and then diluted with water if we wanted to resist the fog¡¯s madness.

    Only three days in and we were already in dire straits.

    I glowered at the mountains rising up around us and the bright slash of flowing molten rock visible in the distance even through the ever present fog. I had known it would take us longer than a day or two to reach our destination but part of me couldn¡¯t help but be frustrated by our difficulty.

    The mysterious band likely wouldn¡¯t have positioned their camp too far from their main supplier of protective seeds, the Red Hands¡¯ band. We had started out farther away on the opposite side of the Red Hands¡¯ camp, but surely it still wasn¡¯t such a long or difficult journey for them. Maybe a day at most to the supply outpost, if they were forced to camp further away because of the terrain and no other bands wanted to deal with them¡ªbut even that sounded too long for something so important. Maybe they knew of better, quicker ways to travel through the valleys. Most likely the hidden Pickers at least wouldn¡¯t have to trudge around every single molten stream they came across.

    I kept my complaints and worries behind closed lips as we continued forward. For now. If Nine Claws didn¡¯t make clear that she wasn¡¯t leading everyone into delirium and starvation soon I¡¯d force the issue. Getting the Pickers to the hidden band as quickly as possible wasn¡¯t worth that.

    It became clear that Nine Claws was using her nine spectral cats to help scout the area around us. That was how she could continue forward with such confidence despite the fog. I wasn¡¯t sure how she communicated with them given that I never saw one run up to her while we were traveling but I figured it might be similar to how whisper women spoke on the wind. And the cats did help us save some time since we didn¡¯t have to go right up to a molten stream to know it was there and, from what I could tell, they helped Nine Claws map the shortest way around the obstacle. They hadn¡¯t been able to that when we came upon the first lava stream because Nine Claws had focused most of their attention on the mob hunting us.

    Our forward march was stopped simply because the river of molten rock that had been steadily growing somewhere to our right filled the gap that lead into the next valley. It might even dive into a waterfall, though that was near impossible to tell for certain with the fog ruining our view.

    We stood bunched up on a small outcropping overlooking the river and the sight made Colt start to cry. He might have been trying to hold it in based on the sheer number of sniffles, but apparently this was the latest difficulty in a string of them was the last one he could take. I checked on Prevna¡ªwho looked much more stern than normal¡ªbefore focusing on Nine Claws while ignoring the annoying crying.

    ¡°Back and up or just climb?¡±

    This valley had much steeper sides than the one we entered with, so we were left with the choice to either climb what was basically a cliff or retrace our steps to the easier assent. Either way we¡¯d have to brave the purge happening in the Cut and on the mountainside while we made our around to the third valley. If we tried to continue forward everyone would just burn to death and I had no desire to learn what that¡ªor surviving it¡ªwould be like.

    Malady looked like she had sucked on something sour and I didn¡¯t bother trying to hold my tongue back. ¡°The goddess doesn¡¯t provide trials you cannot overcome?¡±

    Then I pointedly looked toward the wide orange-red disaster below us.

    She looked like she had tasted dung now that I had thrown her words back in her face and I felt a bit of satisfaction that took the edge off of feeling miserable from the heat. Prevna bumped me gently on the shoulder but it felt more like a touch of understanding and support than a reprimand for letting my tongue loose on one of the two responsible for getting us all to the hidden Pickers.

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    Of the Pickers with us, Jika was looking at me like I was insane for criticizing Malady and Kuma was keeping a careful eye the situation even as she kept herself out of it. Gard had knelt down next to Colt, trying to reassure him, but from the way his shoulders had gone stiff I doubted he was oblivious to the conversation.

    Nine Claws was similarly half-focused on the conversation while the rest of her attention had been stolen by her spirit cats. She seemed to be content to let Malady hold her own against a Sprout.

    Malady cleared her expression before giving me a slight nod. ¡°Perhaps I should not have said that as we descended away from the goddess¡¯s domain. Why would the goddess provide a trial in a valley devoted to Her sister?¡±

    It felt like she had punched me in the gut so I glowered at her. No one ever took back what they said, much less admitted they were wrong unless they were forced to. And even ignoring that, she had edged on the blasphemous to suggest that there was somewhere the goddess might not control, especially a place so far within Her domain. We might all know about that Her territory wasn¡¯t endless, but it certainty felt like it was and everyone knew better than to outright acknowledge that the goddess could have limits.

    There was a long pause as we all waited for Malady to be struck down but she just stood there waiting for my response.

    I had to twist her words further to make sure we didn¡¯t all end up collateral damage in case the goddess did decide Malady had pushed her luck too far. ¡°Indeed. Why would the goddess waste time on something as simple as a trial when She could make these valleys her own whenever She chose?¡±

    Then I pulled my prayer needle free, undid the flap on my pant leg, and pricked my mark before offering up a prayer to goddess¡¯s strength and wisdom. The group followed suit and Malady had her own small look of satisfaction. No doubt she had known I couldn¡¯t have just let her words hang in the air or press my point without risking insulting the goddess somehow.

    Nine Claws broke the tension with an announcement. ¡°Eighth found a climbing path carved into the mountain¡¯s side not far from here.¡±

    We followed her off the outcropping and to her cat¡¯s discovery. It wasn¡¯t a path. It wasn¡¯t even remotely close to the switchbacks that been carved into the cliff at the Rookery. Instead, someone had taken the long and perilous effort to carve hand and footholds into the mountain¡¯s side. Little pockets of space that we could use to climb up the vertical wall without having to adjust to the rock¡¯s natural surface. I wasn¡¯t sure who had decided it was worth the effort or how they had managed it, but I was grateful for the unexpected boon. Even if the pockets were spaced out for a person taller than me.

    We tied Colt to Kuma¡¯s back with some rope from one of our packs so he couldn¡¯t accidentally fall in the middle of the climb unless she did. Then Malady went up first with Nine Claws taking up the rear behind me. Supposedly she was going last to make sure we were protected from below but I didn¡¯t miss the fact that she¡¯s be having nearly as much trouble with reaching the holes as me and I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised if she was trying to keep up the image of being a great and powerful whisper woman by not letting us see her struggle.

    I had to strain and go up on my tip toes to reach every new handhold while everyone else clambered up above me with ease. My arms and legs started to ache before we were even halfway up the storming mountainside. It felt like the climb lasted longer than all of our wandering through the inner valleys put together. But I kept climbing.

    I refused to be the idiot who stopped and let go simply because her arms simultaneously felt like they had been dipped in the molten streams and now weighed three times as the rest of me all on their own. Especially with a whisper woman puffing away behind me. Either I¡¯d make it to the top or my body would give out¡­and I refused to let the latter happen.

    Still, I was glad that we didn¡¯t have anyone like Juniper in our group. If she had been here I was sure she would have frozen part way up even with the fog obscuring the distance to the ground and we didn¡¯t have any convenient shadows for her to travel through to pry her off the wall.

    By the time we made it up the carved path I didn¡¯t have the strength to stand or proper move my arms. I collapsed on the ground next to the cliff, one foot still off the edge, and just hoped that my penchant for unfortunate situations didn¡¯t make the ground crumble away beneath me. I left just enough room for Nine Claws to squeeze past me before she stumbled over to a large nearby rock and casually leaned against it.

    Kuma wasn¡¯t much better after hauling two people up the cliff, healing wounds and all. She sat with her arms dangling over her bent knees taking in deep, gasping breaths. Malady and Prevna had faired the best out of everyone though Jika didn¡¯t look terrible either. Gard was slightly worse off than her with a hand pressed to his still healing puncture wound. No doubt reaching up had pulled at some of Mirabeth¡¯s stitches. Really, Colt had fared the best out of everyone but he didn¡¯t count since he been carried the whole way. Now he was keeping close to Kuma and asking whether she¡¯d always been so strong.

    I drew in a deep breath of air and relished in the fact that the fog was thinner here than it had been down in the valleys.

    A scuffing sound came from between two other boulders and I shifted just enough to see the space between them out of the corner of my eye. Prevna stopped walking over to check on me and looked towards the noise too.

    A boy, a young man really, since he looked to be around our age, came shuffling out from between the boulders with a spear held out defensively in front of him. ¡°Who are you?¡±

    Nine Claws pushed off her resting spot and drew his gaze to her. I clearly saw him swallow when he caught sight of her lips but he still stammered out, ¡°W-what are you doing here? Why were you in the Nesting Grounds?¡±

    Something in Nine Claws¡¯ stance changed and I knew she hadn¡¯t missed that he had a name for the valley we came from while the Pickers we traveled with hadn¡¯t. More than anything that indicated he might be one of the mysterious Pickers we were seeking.

    Nine Claws didn¡¯t answer his questions. ¡°Why are you here?¡±

    He frowned and pointed his spear a little more towards her before flinching and rapidly pointing it back towards the sky. He looked like he wanted to say that he had asked first but apparently even a scaredy-cat Picker knew better than to cross a whisper woman.

    Then he glanced to the side and gave a harsh, but not so quiet whisper, ¡°Klus!¡±

    A crocodile crawled out from between the rocks and curled around the Picker¡¯s legs before opening its jaws and snapping them closed again in a clear threat.

    ¡°W-we don¡¯t want to hurt you but I¡¯m not supposed to let anyone pass. Normally, th-that¡¯s for keeping the others from the Nesting Grounds but¡­¡± he trailed off.

    Maybe he wasn¡¯t scared. Maybe he was just stupid.

    Who in their right mind tried to stop a whisper woman? Especially when they didn¡¯t have black lips themselves?

    ¡°Strange. We don¡¯t want to hurt you either,¡± Nine Claws said. Then all nine of her spectral cats swept into existence around her before they snapped their jaws back at the crocodile.

    The boy stumbled back and tripped over his own crocodile to land on his butt in the dirt. Maybe whoever had assigned him this post was the real person without a thought in their head. He certainly didn¡¯t seem to have even a piece of the spine needed to be a proper guard. His crocodile, on the other hand, took a threatening step forward and glared at Nine Claws.

    Nine Claws ignored the creature as she stared down the Picker. ¡°Let¡¯s talk.¡±

 Book 4 - Ch. 22: Information Gathering (Be-leaf me, Im pine)

    The boy talked. Really, he babbled practically any thought that came to his head in an attempt to get out from under Nine Claws¡¯ persistent and authoritative glare. That was how we learned his name was Tike and he had Klus since the crocodile hatched from his egg and whole bunch of other irrelevant information that I let go in one ear and out the other while I recovered from the climb up the cliff.

    It didn¡¯t help that Prevna had opted to rest my head in her lap. Supposedly so she could grab me at a second¡¯s notice if the cliff really did start to crumble, but then she had picked a leaf out of my hair. I wasn¡¯t sure how it had gotten there since there hadn¡¯t been any trees nearby but she showed it to me with a wry smile before letting it flutter off to the side. After that I let her undo my braid and now she seemed to be twisting my hair this way and that in a style that wouldn¡¯t require me to sit up for her to finish it properly.

    The others did what they could to rest up and recover from the past few days of constant travel in a disturbing landscape while we all eavesdropped on what Tike was saying.

    He was from the mysterious band though they hadn¡¯t given themselves a name to unify under. Tike got extra shifty at that point and muttered something about not wanting to draw attention. Given that it sounded like a tribe full of men living a valley created the goddess¡¯s sister and not Her proper territory I couldn¡¯t blame him. Perhaps the valley did have some way to help keep them from the goddess¡¯s attention as long as they didn¡¯t go around flaunting their presence. Or maybe the goddess didn¡¯t care.

    It was impossible to truly determine which might be true or what might happen if the goddess¡¯s mood did change so Tike¡¯s band had opted to keep as secluded as possible. They had some other reasons for that too. Namely, that some other band might try to break them up or wipe them out since the band had no women and would take none¡ªand that kind of imbalance of concentrated life could easily be seen as just as bad or worse than what a healer had to contend with.

    My ears did perk up a bit at that fact. Few would dare to openly go against the goddess¡¯s preference even if they were quiet about it. A tribe of only men? The thought was unthinkable.

    It was even more unthinkable to hear that the mysterious band had been around for as long as Tike could remember. The goddess hadn¡¯t done anything to punish them for living in the inner valleys as far as he knew or for challenging Her power through the sheer abundance of life they had likely accumulated even if Tike insisted they did things to help maintain a balance.

    Nine Claws continued to grill him about the inner valleys and their secrets and difficulties when Prevna pulled my attention back to her. She smiled impishly down at me before saying, ¡°I heard someone muttering under their breath not too long ago about supplies and terrible trees and how we were all going to die if the heat or fog didn¡¯t get to us first¡­¡±

    She raised her eyebrows and gave me a leading look.

    I gave her a half-hearted glare back. ¡°You were worried too.¡±

    Her smile stretched wider. ¡°About you getting caught up in your thoughts? Always.¡±

    My glare switched to a scowl in a heartbeat. ¡°We¡¯re still running low on everything.¡±

    ¡°Mmhmm.¡± Prevna did something with my hair that I couldn¡¯t see. ¡°And we¡¯ll make it work. You¡¯re surrounded by Pickers¡ªwe know how to get by when things are scarce.¡±

    ¡°We should have planned better,¡± I grumbled.

    She nodded. ¡°We won¡¯t forget next time.¡± Then she did one last thing to my hair and patted my shoulder. ¡°All done.¡±

    I sat up and immediately knew something had gone wrong when she couldn¡¯t even last a second before cackling. I reached up and tried to figure out what she had done to my hair by feel. I felt lots of lumps. It didn¡¯t take long for my gaze to catch on the leaf she had pulled out of my hair. It was a long, knobby thing with points sticking out every which way. Utterly unlike the sleek brilliance of the goddess¡¯s pine trees.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t.¡±

    Prevna cackled again, only managing to partially block her wide grin behind her hand while she gestured with her other hand to the first valley we entered. ¡°You¡¯d fit right in.¡±

    I vowed right then to get her back some way, somehow. No matter how long it took to find something as ridiculous as this to balance out the scales. In the meantime though I had something else I could use as leverage.

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    I poked at a lump. ¡°Maybe I won¡¯t let you do my hair again.¡±

    The mirth on her face fell as her smile wavered and my stomach dropped in response. If she had been anyone else¡­well, if she had been anyone else they wouldn¡¯t have gotten access to make such a mess of my hair but, as it was, I couldn¡¯t stand the uncertainty in her gaze. The knowledge that she couldn¡¯t tell if I was joking or cutting her down.

    So I leaned closer, much closer than I normally ever would have, to whisper in her ear while my free hand palmed the leaf she had pulled from my hair. ¡°I was joking.¡± Then I stuck the leaf in her hair so it pointed straight out over her head. ¡°Now we match.¡±

    I pulled back slightly, expecting her to grin and chuckle or gasp in fake outrage. But that wasn¡¯t what I saw at all. Her eyebrows were drawn together slightly and her eyes looked wide. Her mouth had an odd tilt to it that seemed like it could have been exasperation or frustration.

    I didn¡¯t like not being able to tell exactly what her expression meant. I opened my mouth to ask but Malady cut in.

    ¡°Girls! Settle down.¡±

    I cut my gaze over to where she was glaring at us. Which was when it became clear that our antics had started to interrupt Nine Claws¡¯ interrogation. Klus hissed at us. I held up a defensive, acknowledging hand to Malady who turned away with a tight expression.

    Prevna blinked slowly and then smiled at me once she opened her eyes. It wasn¡¯t quite one of her usual smiles but I knew as soon as I saw it that I had lost my chance to press her about what had happened and get an honest answer.

    She held her hands up. ¡°Let me take it out?¡±

    Insanely, part of me wanted to leave my hair exactly as it was. At least until I got to the bottom of what had gone wrong between her misunderstanding me and me teasing her back. Then I heard Colt giggle about my hair before Kuma could shush him and my pride forced me to give in.

    Prevna untied my hair from all the lumps she had made piece by careful piece. Then she ran her fingers through it to get out any errant snarls before weaving my hair into its normal simple braid. Finally, not seeming to be able to help herself, she plucked the leaf from her hair and stuck it back in mine, just over my ear. ¡°Perfect.¡±

    I gave it about five minutes and waited until she was distracted before plucking the leaf out myself. Still, the ugly, unnatural thing made it into my poisoner¡¯s pouch without anyone being the wiser.

    - -

    Another guard came to relieve Tike only to find him surrounded by a whisper woman, two Sprouts, a firestarter, and Pickers who weren¡¯t supposed to be able to be there. Normally, the fog was enough to keep everyone outside their band at bay but we sat there like we were breathing normal air just like they did.

    In the end Nine Claws was able to reach an agreement with him, though that shouldn¡¯t have been a surprise given the sheer amount of information she had wrung out of Tike. The new guard was significantly older, more experienced, and unfazed than his younger counterpart after he got over his initial shock. Nine Claws seemed to appreciate his steady attitude and Tike was clearly appreciative of his reprieve from Nine Claws¡¯ glare.

    It was decided that we¡¯d stay here or shortly down the mountain, if we didn¡¯t want to stay in the fog, while Tike kept an eye on us and the new guard returned to their hidden band to inform their leaders of the situation. They would decide if we all got to visit or if just Colt and Gard would be taken into the band. Either way Kuma and Jika wouldn¡¯t be allowed to join, no matter their circumstances, so they had to decide what they¡¯d do next. We would take the time to recover supplies from the mountainside¡ªwhile keeping a careful lookout for any death bringers¡ªand then go from there.

    Nine Claws decided that we¡¯d camp a little further from the cliff¡¯s edge but still within the fog¡¯s reach while we had resistance to its effects. Better that bit of security and respite from whatever chaos the purge was causing while we could make use of it. We didn¡¯t make a fire in case it drew unwanted attention and to save what supplies we had, but it was still a decent time from sunset so she and Malady immediately set out to hunt and gather what they could. They had the strength and proof to save themselves from overzealous Peacekeepers too. Prevna and I also likely could have gone with our black lips, but we were told to recover and protect the camp if it came down to it.

    So more waiting.

    I sat back and tended to the spear Prevna and I were sharing while determinedly putting whatever had happened at end of the little situation with the leaf and my hair out of my mind. Prevna was acting normal now and while my curiosity burned at the back of my throat I didn¡¯t want to ruin the dynamic. This was how it should be. And she had never pressed me when I was sure she had seen something on my face I didn¡¯t want her to.

    Still, part of me was very inclined to glare at where she was laughing with Jika, so once I finished checking over the spear I turned my attention to the stone Esie had given me. I ran my finger over the spiral carved into it and carefully looked over every inch, but as far as I could tell it was just a decorative stone. Nothing to indicate why it or the mysterious friend might be worth one of the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ favors, why it might be special. Nothing to even indicate where I was supposed to look in the valleys for the friend unless she lived in some place marked by a spiral.

    I doubted it¡¯d be so easy.

    But since I didn¡¯t have any better leads I resolved to keep my eyes out for spirals or other odd shapes that didn¡¯t always show up naturally. At the very least that¡¯d be better than walking around blindly hoping I ran into whoever I was looking for. And when I found her I¡¯d do everything I could to learn more about her connection with my patron, just like Nine Claws had done with Tike.

 Book 4 - Ch. 23: Heading to the Hidden Band

    We ended up spending two days at the impromptu campsite. I was surprised that the hidden band made a whisper woman wait for so long, but Nine Claws didn¡¯t seem in a hurry despite the way we had been marching through the valleys. Perhaps she had felt the lack of supplies more than I realized.

    She and Malady kept going out on their hunting and gathering trips while the rest of us were ordered to recover and rest. I couldn¡¯t deny that a lot had happened since we first stepped foot on the mountain and that the rest was good for my recovering wounds, especially after I had abused my shoulder more between the rat fight and climbing a cliff. But I hated just sitting there. Relegated to the sidelines with nothing to do but train, think, and watch the others.

    Prevna and I had been doing everything we could to improve ever since we became seedlings but now we weren¡¯t even trusted to help gather supplies on our own. I knew in the whisper women¡¯s eyes we were just Sprouts, not even part of a sect yet, and had years to go before we had the experience of true whisper women but the inaction grated on me. Even when I had been a healer¡¯s daughter I had been trusted to do more than just train. Even if it had been a trial she likely expected me to fail the Commander had set me that task to kill the crawler harassing their outposts and when we were at the Rookery it might have all been training but I could clearly see the progress I was making with the exciting, new skill.

    Practicing with the spear, knife, and sling wasn''t nearly as interesting. Shadow walking and thinking through strategies and scenarios were more so, but I was limited by what I could come up with without Mishtaw to give me instructions on what to try or think over. Of course, that wasn¡¯t any different from what I was used to but after years of trying to come up with new ideas it felt like the situations I hadn¡¯t thought over yet were running dry.

    As for shadow walking¡­well, I didn¡¯t want to admit I was reluctant to find out if there really was a ghost haunting my shadow paths but I could only use the excuse that it wasn¡¯t a good time or place to practice, especially when we had been at the Seedling Palace. Prevna hadn¡¯t pressed me on it¡ªbut I knew she had gotten the same lecture I had about leaving people in the shadows paths after the stunt I pulled.

    I would have let the group to search out my patron¡¯s elusive friend but Esie had made it clear that she expected her to be in the inner valleys and I wasn¡¯t about to go climb back down the cliff into the barren valley to start my search. To start, there was no way I wouldn¡¯t be noticed and climbing up that cliff had been terrible enough the first time. I knew there had to be a way into the valley where the hidden had settled but they had kept their path hidden from us and our camp had moved from the cliffside to right outside the fog to save our supply of seeds. So even if I ignored my lack of familiarity with the landscape, the likelihood of being caught, and how little I wanted to use the route I did know, I¡¯d likely succumb to the fog before I found anything.

    It was a boring two days before a group of nine men showed up at our camp bright and early before Nine Claws and Malady could leave on another supply run.

    Their leader, the same unflappable guard Nine Claws had spoken to before, said, ¡°Our leaders wish to speak to your group. You may accompany us while we bring Gard and Colt to settle into their new home.¡± He held out strips of cloth. ¡°However, we ask that you block your gaze so that its location remains a secret. That secrecy is our greatest protection.¡±

    Nine Claws stared the man down. Her bless mark and black lips on full display. ¡° You would demand this of me?¡± She gestured to Prevna and me. ¡°Of them?¡±

    To his credit he didn¡¯t immediately lose his resolve even if that might have been the smarter response. He dipped his head and, voice still even, replied, ¡°We ask. We honor the goddess as well and don¡¯t wish to incur Her wrath through you.¡±

    My eyes narrowed. Something about what he said didn¡¯t sound quite right. Honoring the goddess was all well and good, even if most people would have said ¡°worship¡± or ¡°fear¡± instead, so I didn¡¯t think that was what had caught my attention. I mulled over the sentence as they kept the conversation going. It didn¡¯t last long.

    Nine Claws accepted wearing the blindfolds just this once though I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised if she ended up having her cats follow us and learn the way regardless. There were enough men to pair up with each of us and one to finally relieve Tike from his post. They handed us the blindfolds as well as a drinking pouch to pass around.

    The leader explained, ¡°It¡¯s a more potent mixture of what you been using to keep the fog¡¯s protection at bay. One mouthful will protect you for a week instead of a day.¡± He took a sip to show it was fine to drink before passing it to Nine Claws. ¡°Please accept our goodwill.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t keen on drinking some unknown mixture from an unknown source but Nine Claws drank down a mouthful so we all had to follow suit. Part of me was tempted to insist that we make our own mixture and drink it as well just in case what they gave us didn¡¯t really protect us from the fog, but making our own would hardly be subtle and with the way our makeshift camp was getting packed up it seemed there wouldn¡¯t be time.

    I also didn¡¯t want to touch my guide the entire time it took to get wherever we were going but it didn¡¯t seem like we had a choice in that either. As soon as my blindfold was on he clapped a hand on my shoulder and I recoiled. After an awkward pause I felt him place his hand tentatively hack on my shoulder and I barely restrained the urge to kick him in the shin and run away. I could still do that if he ran me into a tree.

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    We moved forward as a group and I felt the moment we reentered the fog. It made the air heavy and what light I could see through the blindfold went hazy but it didn¡¯t seem any different from normal fog. We kept shuffling forward and it felt like they were leading us in a winding curve on a steep slope. I noticed that the heat kept increasing to my left until it felt like we were facing its source.

    Then we stopped and my guide told me to wait before leaving me standing there. I relaxed at having my personal space back and heard Prevna reply to her guide somewhere close by. Something large dragged and then there was the ominous sound of something hitting water. Though it didn¡¯t quite sound like water either.

    Surely it couldn¡¯t be¡­

    A few more things were moved around. I heard more than one grunt and hiss that sounded like it came from a crocodile. I doubted all the noise could have been from Klus. My hand inched up to my waist to hover over my eating knife. Our guides hadn¡¯t mentioned anything about more crocodiles or explained what all the dragging was for.

    Then my guide was back and placing his unwelcome hand on my shoulder. ¡°Take ten steps forward and then a big step up.¡±

    The heat steadily increased as I moved forward until it felt like I was about to step directly into a large bonfire. I refused to take that last step up. ¡°What is this?¡±

    ¡°The quickest, safest way to the village.¡±

    Somehow I doubted that.

    The guide moved around my side. ¡°Here. I¡¯ll go up first.¡±

    His hand left my shoulder after he had me move slightly to the side. Then I felt him step forward. There was a shuffling noise but no one was screaming nor was there the sound of sizzling flesh like there would have been if he had actually stepped into a fire.

    He reached back out to me and caught my hand. I had to restrain my urge again to fling him away and instead let him pull me up and forward. The ground I stepped on dipped before settling. He guided me forward again and it shifted with my every step, not so much that I was afraid of losing my balance, but enough that I knew there was no way we were still on steady ground. Then he had me brace my hands on a railing, warned me not to lean forward over it, and went off to help the others.

    The railing felt suspiciously like the haft of a spear. Like wood. But who in their right mind used wood for anything but fuel or spears? Why waste it? And if it was wood, how was it not burning when I still felt like I should have been in the middle of a fire from the sheer amount of heat clogging the air around me and drying out my mouth and skin.

    Someone else pressed up next to me but I knew almost instantly that it was Prevna.

    I whispered, ¡°What is this?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s find out,¡± she whispered back and a moment later I felt my blindfold being shifted slightly up so I could see past it with one eye. Prevna met my gaze with her own freed eye and we shared small grins. Looking past her I noticed that no one was paying attention to us as they were all trying to get Malady and Colt to join us. Each was being stubborn for different reasons: Malady wanted a clear explanation and Colt was crying out of fear.

    That was also when I noticed where we were standing.

    Molten rock swirled past our feet with only the railing of black wood keeping us from falling in. The black wood boxed us in on all sides and under our feet and, inexplicably it wasn¡¯t burning. I couldn¡¯t even smell it smoldering.

    There were also crocodiles in the lava swimming around as if it was simply water. Four large ones were hooked up to the front of the box with harnesses that looked like black leather but those also weren¡¯t burning.

    Did nothing in these valleys adhere to what I knew was normal? Why would you ever try to float on top of molten rock? Who had been idiotic enough to be the first one to try?

    The leader of our guides noticed that we were looking around, shocked, and he sighed from where he stood on the other side of the weird black craft. He called out, ¡°Let them look. We¡¯re already past the part they could do on their own if they did try to retrace our path.¡±

    He clearly thought we wouldn¡¯t have a way to traverse the river of molten rock on our own to get to his village and that going by land would be impossible for us to do. I neglected to mention that we had access to storm birds that could fly wherever they wanted.

    Maladay ripped her blindfold off and then stepped up onto the craft through the opening on the other side with a look that clearly said they shouldn¡¯t have been the ones to make that so difficult. Colt cried more when he saw that he¡¯d need to go on the river of deadly, molten rock. In the end, Gard had to pick him and carry him onto the box while the boy buried his face in the man¡¯s neck. Nine Claws ran an appraising hand over the black wood and asked a few sharp questions to the closest guide who happened to be Tike. He startled and tripped over his tongue as he tried to answer as fast as he could.

    I learned that the wood was from something called a black barrier tree and that its sap was used to protect the crocodiles¡¯ harnesses from the lava as well. Apparently, the trees never burned and could last for years exposed to the lava before they would start to bleach gray and then crumbled to dust. They also apparently had never been punished by the goddess even when they dared to cut down the first tree. Tike insisted that they kept the number they cut low and would tend to the trees and plant new ones to show their appreciation, but that hardly mattered. The goddess had punished a whole region for one pine tree being burned. If She cared about what they were doing all the rest of it likely didn¡¯t matter¡ªthey would have been dead as soon as that first tree fell.

    Unless, of course, Her mood turned and She suddenly did decide to care if they stopped ¡°taking care¡± of the trees like they were. The whole thing was incomprehensible. This area might have been technically made by the goddess¡¯s sister but who would have dared to cut down that first tree?

    Perhaps the same person who decided traveling on lava rivers was a good idea.

    The thought made my head hurt.

    Once everyone had stepped up into the black box the guides shut the opening and tied it closed. With twenty of us it was tight quarters but not as bad it could have been. Tike was busily explaining to Nine Claws that they normally used this craft to transfer their supplies to and from their trades with the outsider band. He said that quite a few people had smaller boxes that would harness directly onto their crocodile¡¯s back for individual travel on the molten rock rivers and lake. That insight made my head hurt more so I stared out at the tangle of black trees with wide leaves and rocks making up the molten river¡¯s edge and tried not to wonder if those in the hidden band had been kept out of the other bands because they lacked some bit of common sense when it came to safety.

 Book 4 - Ch. 24: Two Leaders

    The hidden band was at least smart enough not to set up their camp right on the edge of a river of molten rock. Instead they had set up a docking spot near where the river joined a vast lake of lava. I didn¡¯t doubt that it was the lake of fire that Nerco, the tribe leader of the Red Hand, had spoken of in her tale about the Dawn Crawler. The lake wasn¡¯t blinding but it was bright and the heat made my skin feel like it was being scorched just from the proximity. The lake didn¡¯t seem nearly as big as First Shore Lake but no lake was. Still, even with the fog limiting our vision, it did feel like the lake stretched out far into the distance.

    I looked for a giant scaled monster with wings but there wasn¡¯t so much as an errant ripple in the slowly churning lake to indicate its presence. The closest thing to the storied creature were the crocodiles and they didn¡¯t have any wings to speak of.

    The crocodiles did pull us smoothly along the shore line and the guards on the shore quickly moved to steady our floating box and anchor it to the shore. Then one of our guides opened the door in the box¡¯s side so we could file out and step carefully onto solid ground.

    I held in a sigh of relief as I left the box behind. After everyone clumped up on the shore a couple of our guides undid the anchors that the guards had stabbed into the ground and then the four crocodiles that had pulled the box down the river pulled it up onto the shore. Little rivulets of lava streamed from them and the box¡¯s bottom to run back to the lake or puddle on the ground.

    The same guides put on large black gloves and stepped carefully around the puddles of molten rock to undo the crocodiles¡¯ harnesses. A couple of the crocodiles took the opportunity to slip immediately back into the lake.

    The guards didn¡¯t seem surprised to see us but I didn¡¯t miss the discomfort in their posture and expressions. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because we weren¡¯t all men or because we were a sizable group that they were suddenly allowing into their hidden sanctuary or some mixture of both. They held their spears with tight grips and, truly, it was odd seeing the weapons in men¡¯s hands with no whisper women to lead them nearby.

    Nor could I completely hide my own discomfort at seeing the two buildings that made up their docking spot. They were permanent, something I had only seen with the communal hall in Grislander¡¯s Maw and the Rookery. But even those buildings had been mounds of hollowed out dirt which was much more understandable than what these men had done.

    Wood. The buildings were made out of wood. They stuck out in sharp angles from the ground with limbs¡ªtrunks¡ªlocking together at the corners. Clear evidence of the trees they must have chopped down. It made my stomach twist between horror and disgust.

    It felt sacrilegious just looking at the things.

    The floating box was one thing¡­but to push it even further and live inside cut down trees? That felt like a passionate plea for the goddess¡¯s wrath.

    And yet they were all still standing along with their wretched buildings.

    Perhaps She truly did only care about Her pine trees, but I still couldn¡¯t bring myself to look at the unnatural buildings for long and I had a bad premonition about what we would find in the band proper. Everyone in our group gave the buildings a wide berth and long judgmental looks if we deigned to look at them at all.

    The hidden band¡¯s main camp was a short walk through a forest of unnatural trees. When we reached it I saw it was more akin to the Rookery¡¯s village than a camp. It also was and wasn¡¯t what I feared.

    The village encompassed two wide hills of about equal height and the narrow valley between them just before the slope behind the hills steepened suddenly to become the valley¡¯s side. More wooden buildings broke through the fog, at least half the village that I could see, but it seemed not all of the band¡¯s inhabitants could stomach sleeping surrounded by felled trees. There were also the homes of dug out mounds of dirt that gave the hills a lumpy quality and tents speckled between the more permanent structures.

    The area bustled with activity as men hurried along paths worn into the ground by long use and they all worked to make the most of the warm season. Not even this place could entirely escape or ignore the long months of the goddess¡¯s chill influence.

    I felt like a dullard who couldn¡¯t help but repeat the same thing over and over, but the sheer number of men without a single woman to break them up looked truly unnatural. One pair even deliberately caught Nine Claw¡¯s attention before they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed each other sloppily.

    Bold. Stupidly so, but their point was clear: we were in their home, their territory and they refused to bend to our expectations after they carved out their place here. Even for a whisper woman, one blessed and singled out by the goddess after a fashion. A position they could never achieve simply because of how they were born.

    Well, all the eyes boring into us seemed to say, we might never had a place in your world but you will never have one here.

    So many things all packed together that everyone knew the goddess hated. Men, with no women to balance the scales, that had certainly built up enough life between them that it could be considered a sign of disregard and a challenge to Her power. Especially when it seemed, from the open, deliberate displays of affection happening all around us, many of them had come here to pursue their romantic or physical interests without condemnation constantly hanging over their heads. Not all of the men had gray lips but the majority of them did.

    All of it amounting to more life than a single healer could ever have contained.

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Dead trees, deliberately cut down and their corpses used for something other than the goddess¡¯s gift of fire or a huntress¡¯s necessary hunt to provide for the tribe.

    Nothing about this place honored any of Her aspects. It was too hot and muggy for Her cold and Her snow. There were shadows, though none stretched from pine trees as there was none of those to be found. The fog blocked out the stars at night and with every else wrong about these valleys I doubted they honored death in the same way as everyone else did.

    Based on what I had been taught since birth all of these people, this place, should have been wiped away long ago after having thoroughly incurred Her wrath.

    But they were still here. Muttering, glowering, gloating as we headed deeper into their midst.

    Malady stopped short, seemingly ready to berate the couple making out and everyone else who dared taunt her mistress, but Nine Claws put a hand on her arm and shook her head.

    ¡°We will speak to those whose opinions matter.¡±

    More than a few in the crowd around us bristled at that but a handful of our guides made a subtle hand motion I couldn¡¯t quite catch and they subsided again.

    Sharp comments and cutting observations bubbled on my tongue at the sheer amount of audacity we were being shown, but I kept my jaw clenched and everything I wanted to say behind my teeth. If Nine Claws could show restraint at this display despite being a whisper woman than I could hold my tongue too.

    Prevna and I still shared multiple looks of shock and incredulity. Compared to these people our guides had been downright deferent despite insisting we put on blindfolds and not treating Nine Claws with as much respect as expected. Our hands hovered near our weapons the entire time we traveled through the village.

    Gard had Colt by the hand and while the boy looked around in wide eyed wonder at all the new things now that he gotten over being on the lava river, Gard seemed conflicted. Possibly enticed by this way of living he never could have dreamed of and disturbed by their clear hostility.

    Kuma and Jika also kept close together and I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised if they were at least somewhat relieved that they didn¡¯t have to live here where they were unwelcome on sight.

    The guides took us to the top of the right hill. The largest of all the buildings sat on its top with a wooden bridge stretching across the gap between the hills to the second largest building in village. Both made out of a mix of wood and earth. Perhaps if they didn¡¯t seem to insist on using wood for everything I might been more interested in how they made their own bridge.

    The building was made out of reddish wood and had the same sharp angles as the ones at the dock outpost. They still used an animal skin to cover the entrance, however, and once we stepped inside the thing we found that it was mostly one large room like the community hall though it was nearly comparable in size to that. This building might hold a fourth of the Gabbler Shore tribe comfortably while the community hall in Grislander¡¯s Maw held all the the tribes who came to shelter for the winter. Nor did they have glow stones here to light up the space. Instead plants with glowing bulbs twined around the walls provided enough light for us to see. I wasn¡¯t sure how they survived without sunlight and I wanted to get close to a wall to examine them but I kept myself near Prevna.

    I wouldn¡¯t be enticed by their strange plants and I wouldn¡¯t admit that they were beautiful.

    The guides stayed outside when they had us enter so it was just our group and the two people already inside together when the door flap closed. The two men sat on elaborate looking cushions near the middle of the room. One looked older with gray streaks in his hair, but he still had the build of someone who decided to carry rocks for a living. If he stood up I was sure he¡¯d tower over Nine Claws and me without even trying. The other looked like he was at least two decades younger than the other man with long flowing hair tied partially back in a more elegant design than I would have ever expected to see on a man. He was thinner as well but he didn¡¯t seem weak. Really, the look in his eyes reminded me of her: he had his resources and he would make use of them until they broke.

    They didn¡¯t stand when we entered though it seemed like they had been expecting us rather than us interrupting something. Malady tensed up at that as they should have stood of up out of common decency, if not respect.

    The elegant looking one gestured to the dirt floor. ¡°Please sit.¡±

    I hissed out a breath.

    No offer of cushions even after they refused to stand. Clearly these two stood alongside their people, though it was just as likely they were the source of the hostility and disdain. When they sat on plumped up, decorated cushions and expected us to make due with nothing¡­well, the power dynamic they wanted to establish was hardly subtle.

    ¡°You walk a narrow edge.¡± Nine Claws ignored his offer to provide a warning of her own.

    The older brute crossed his arms and kept silent while the younger smiled in a way that couldn¡¯t construed as anything but false. ¡°You are the ones who bring us new people we will need to provide for and ask to explore our master¡¯s lands.¡±

    Malady was seething at this point and not even Nine Claw¡¯s quiet rebuke could keep her from snapping, ¡°Master?¡±

    ¡°The king of these valleys and the holy lake. Our master who watches over us and these lands even when gods gods are distant: the Dawn Crawler,¡± the younger man explained.

    Nine Claws wasn¡¯t drawn into the bait to ask more about the Dawn Crawler. Instead she fixed the two men with an evaluating look that found them wanting and asked, ¡°And who are you to speak to the goddess¡¯s own in such a way?¡±

    ¡°Deamar.¡± The man who thought too highly of himself touched his chest before gesturing to the older man almost as an afterthought. ¡°And Logar.¡±

    He didn¡¯t ask for our names before he continued, ¡°You¡ª¡±

    Nine Claws took a step forward and cut him off, ¡°Don¡¯t mistake the goddess¡¯s apathy for personal power. Do not think that my courtesy in allowing you to speak means your words have any meaning. How long do you think your Dawn Crawler would last should the goddess turn Her attention here?¡±

    Her cats appeared around us between one breath and the next. Not a single one was in a threatening pose but the man¡¯s breath hitched as he was suddenly hemmed in by spiritual cats. She turned her attention to the older man who had yet to speak. ¡°I came here to speak to those whose opinions matter. If this farce continues then I will have no choice but to bring judgment to bear.¡±

    Logar glanced over his shoulder and called out, ¡°I told you, Morn. His head is too big after seeing nothing but these valleys. He¡¯s got no idea what the world is like.¡±

    There was a shocked moment as the tension splintered before another man bustled out of a hidden doorway. He was nearly completely obscured by all of the cushions he was carrying and his voice came out muffled, ¡°Nothing better than this to poke a hole and squeeze all that hot air out of him then.¡±

    Deamar turned suddenly pleading eyes on Logar, ¡°Father¡ª¡±

    Logar gestured to the side of the room. ¡°Go sit over there and watch. Silently. Try to learn something.¡±

    The new man dropped the cushions in front of us to reveal a man who looked like an older, wiser version of Deamar. ¡°Thank you for your patience with that little lesson, mistress. Our people might not take well to¡­outsiders but there are those of us who understand the goddess is only limited by Her own will.¡± He bent down to grab a cushion before offering it to Nine Claws. ¡°Shall we begin our true discussion?¡±

 Book 4 - Ch. 25: We Hear and Obey

    Nine Claws had her discussion with Logar and Morn while the rest of us watched. Even Malady kept silent though I wouldn¡¯t put it past her that all of the perceived ills against Nine Claws the men were committing were being meticulously counted.

    The pair didn¡¯t show the depth of deference I was used to seeing others show whisper women. The little things all tribes people did on the rare chance they were confronted with one the goddess¡¯s women. Not looking at them head on, letting them lead the conversation¡¯s direction, staying silent instead of openly disagreeing. Even I had fallen into the habitual show of respect before I became a Seedling¡­and after, for the most part.

    Logar and Morn were respectful, I supposed, and they had traded out the fancy cushions for the plain browns ones we all sat on now. But they would push Nine Claws on some of her answers, ask for more information, and politely disagree when their opinion didn¡¯t line up with what she said or implied. All things normal tribes people or Picker bands wouldn¡¯t dare to do.

    Deamar watched the whole thing like a scolded puppy that I doubted was taking in much of what was actually being discussed.

    Sometimes I watched him as the discussion continued for the quiet pleasure of seeing him and his overgrown pride be put in their place without any of us needing to lift a finger. Though the way his emotions showed on his face¡ªembarrassment, frustration, wounded pride¡ªclearly indicated that he had never learned to keep his emotions to himself. That he¡¯d never needed to.

    Spoiled.

    Even more so than the twins. The realization put a bad taste in my mouth. The fact that anyone could be so catered to, and come to expect the treatment, was¡­well, they were barely better than an infant. If that. At least an infant had the excuse of being recently born for their inability to anything themselves.

    At least his parents seemed to be getting tired of his attitude even if it was likely too little, too late.

    It seemed that the favor Mishtaw had called in from Nine Claws covered more than just helping us escort the Pickers to the hidden band as Nine Claw was also seeking permission for Mishtaw¡¯s squad, and her and Malady, to search the inner valleys for the relic. Really, she was insinuating that they¡¯d look even without the leaders¡¯ acknowledgment, but crossing the rivers of molten rock and search out the area would be easier with a local guide.

    I wasn¡¯t sure how Prevna and I fit into the plans to search for the relic. Nine Claws had made it clear they wouldn¡¯t be escorting Kuma and Jika further if they couldn¡¯t settle in the hidden village but I realized now that just because she refused to extend the escort mission didn¡¯t mean Prevna and I would necessarily be separating from her and Malady as well. Rather than going off on our own they might be expecting to join us on the relic search while Mishtaw and the others were still preoccupied. That wasn¡¯t the worst outcome as the fight with the plant monster and rats would have gone very differently without the pair, but I also wanted the freedom to search for the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ supposed friend. And, if we went with them, there wouldn¡¯t be much of an opportunity for me to look where and how I wanted.

    Morn agreed to our search. ¡°You may, of course, look through the valleys for what you seek, mistress, but we do have a small request of our own.¡± Nine Claws gave him a level look and waited for him to continue, so he did, ¡°Please take Deamar to the goddess¡¯s copse to see the world outside this fog.¡±

    Nine Claws asked, ¡°The Trial of Fog or Snow?¡±

    Morn nodded. ¡°He is coming to the age where a permanent decision must be reached.¡±

    Logar huffed. ¡°He is past the age. He should¡¯ve made the decision two years ago now.¡±

    Deamar had stiffened as the conversation the conversation turned to him and he tried to interrupt, ¡°Papa¡ª¡±

    Morn held up a finger and barely spared him a glance, his features tight. Though rather than seeming like he could barely look at his son, it had seemed like he had to force himself to look away. Deamar shut up, but I thought that was more due to shock from the way he was suddenly being treated than discipline.

    ¡°I¡¯ve heard of it,¡± Nine Claws continued the conversation as if Deamar hadn¡¯t spoken, ¡°but my understanding was that the trial has neglected for years.¡±

    Morn looked even more strained behind his smile. ¡°Many of our people have taken to making their decision without the trial based on their past experiences or the hearsay of those that came from outside. But we can¡¯t allow the same for Deamar. Even if he chooses to stay he must do so with a better understanding of the outside world, especially if he should lead after us.¡± He drew in a breath. ¡°He must learn while he has the chance.¡±

    ¡°Hm. The judgment holds then?¡± asked Nine Claws.

    Logar held out a wrist and the dot that should have showed up clearly against his skin was nothing more than the fainest smudge, just like how the Carvers¡¯ bless marks had been washed out. ¡°Always. Everyone who chooses to live in this valley have been denied Her blessing and those of us who have pledged ourselves to our master can no longer step foot beyond the fog with Her judgment befalling us.¡± He looked past us to where Gard and Colt sat at the back. ¡°You will need to make the same choice. Should you decide to return to the goddess¡¯s territory before a year is up you will regain the blessing.¡±

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    Gard clutched Colt closer to him. ¡°He¡¯s a child.¡±

    Logar nodded. ¡°Children can spend a day and night outside the fog every year to retain their choice but it is expected for adults to commit to one way of life by the time they reach their sixteenth year.¡±

    Morn shot him a look. ¡°You know he shouldn¡¯t make the decision blind.¡±

    ¡°The calling branch has been where it always is, Morn. Some blood and prayer and we could have been done with Deamar¡¯s trial years ago. Don¡¯t pretend your sudden enthusiasm is more than it is.¡±

    I got a feeling this was argument that happened frequently between the pair, but judging by Deamar¡¯s shocked look he hadn¡¯t been confronted by it before.

    Nine Claws pressed, ¡°And what is that?¡±

    Logar focused back on her. ¡°Reality slapping him across the face. If you spoke to my son he would insist, quite passionately and blindly, that he needs nothing beyond these valleys and has learned all he needs to from the others¡¯ tale about how terrible it is. That he is ready to pledge himself to our master and has been for years. My partner is the one who convinces him to hike up the middle peak every year to escape the fog and retain his choice.¡±

    Nine Claws gave him a look that asked why she should care about some random brat and it made me wish I could pull off the same look as effortlessly in the future.

    ¡°You must understand, we do not care for the lives we left but some are left with regrets. Only able to see the sky once a year if we brave the great winds, only able to survive by breathing in air that would make a mockery of us and kill us if given a chance while the remedy grows at the base of the mountains, just barely out of reach. I would never change my choice but for others it takes more of a toll.¡± Logar looked at Morn. ¡°Whisper women do not come here and the goddess¡¯s influence can be noted more in the things we lack than anything else. It can lull someone into pretending that nothing needs to change without Her noticing.¡± The old brute nodded at us. ¡°Then you came.¡±

    ¡°Ah.¡± There was nothing kind about Nine Claws¡¯ smile. ¡°Then I must insist on the trial for all of your young men who have yet to reach their sixteenth year, and one more thing. We will be splitting into two groups, originally with two guides. However, now Deamar and Tike will be guiding the seedlings while I will take another guide. They can begin their education early.¡±

    Now I wanted to protest. Why did we have to be stuck with the spoiled fool and the incessant babbler who always seemed half out of his wits? Besides, what if we ran into another fight like the one with the monster and the rats? We¡¯d have less people and less fighting ability. Prevna and I shared a look but I kept silent to show Deamar that some of us could have control over our emotions.

    Nine Claws caught our look and said, ¡°You will be keeping to this valley so you will have a place to retreat to, if necessary. Malady and I will range further afield. Mishtaw said you could handle the responsibility.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure retreating to a village that obviously hated us was the smartest of choices but, then again, they¡¯d have to be more than fools to truly attack us. Nothing in these valleys might work as expected and we might only be seedlings, but I was sure the goddess wouldn¡¯t put up with that particular insult. Not by these people who had already thrown what leniency She cared to give back in Her face.

    Nor did I want to lose this chance to prove myself to Mishtaw. Often we were stuck watching over camp supplies and while I was sure this opportunity was born out of need to cover more ground, I wasn¡¯t going waste the chance to show we were ready for more than that. That her training and our experience meant that we could be trusted to hold our own.

    Morn still hadn¡¯t completely regained his composure, ¡°All of the young men?¡±

    Nine Claws stared him down. ¡°I uphold the goddess¡¯s word. They shall meet their judgment and make their choice. Interference will not be tolerated and they will be taken for the trial on the second day of the cold season before they will spend a year among our firestarters. Do I make myself clear?¡±

    Deamar gaped in the corner of my vision while Logar bent his head in a bow and raised crossed arms over his head. Morn had to visibly collect himself before he swallowed down whatever he wanted to say and followed Logar¡¯s example.

    They spoke in unison, ¡°We hear and obey.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡±

    The discussion continued after that but the men were more cowed than they had been previously. Nine Claws pulled the conversation through a few more topics like supplies and expectations for our exploration before she ended it and led our group back outside.

    Two of our guides had waited outside during the long discussion. One was supposed to lead Gard and Colt to their new home while the rest of us would be given tents to sleep in. Nine Claws had shut down any suggestion of the wooden buildings and apparently she didn¡¯t prefer the dirt ones either.

    We ended up on the outskirts of the village after the Pickers said their goodbyes, which was probably for the best, given all of the unfriendly looks we were still getting from the men. Jika and Kuma disappeared into their tent right away to have a long discussion about what they were going to do next now that they knew what the reality of the hidden band was like. They had three days to make a decision and leave, and I think they only got that much leeway because Nine Claws still hadn¡¯t been in the mood to hear ¡®no¡¯.

    As for Nine Claws herself, she made all her cats appear and started lavishing the spirits with her attention. I didn¡¯t doubt that it was both a show of power and something she liked to do as she had started having at least one cat around her when we were camped to pet and play with.

    Malady set to work cooking a meal and pointedly lighting a fire with a snap of her fingers while staring down a man who got too close. He flinched and hurried away.

    I glanced inside the tent Prevna and I would be sleeping in. It obviously had another occupant not that long ago as there were some things tucked along the edges that it looked like someone had forgotten grab while they hurriedly packed. But there was enough space for us to sleep even with the way Prevna liked to sprawl out. I sat outside the tent and started to check over my weapons while Prevna wandered inside it and started poking around the forgotten items. We had the tent flaps tied open so I saw when a couple of those items made their way into her pack and I didn¡¯t see any need to remind her about personal property.

 Book 4 - Ch. 26: Double Standard

    Nine Claws and Malady didn¡¯t waste time at the hidden village. By midmorning the next day, they had secured their guide and were gone as suddenly as they had arrived on the mountainside. I wasn¡¯t sure if they really didn¡¯t care about what happened to us or if this was another test to see if we could handle the independence. So, when Nine Claws gave me a perfunctory nod, I gave one back and that was all the goodbye we got except for Malady informing us that they would be checking in in about a week¡¯s time.

    Which left Prevna and me in our commandeered campsite with no idea where our supposed two guides were and two Pickers who didn¡¯t want to be abandoned in a village that held no love for them.

    Kuma crossed her arms. ¡°As much as I¡¯d like to get back to the Red Hand that isn¡¯t feasible right now. Nerco¡¯s too smart to keep the band in place with the purge spreading across the whole Cut¡ªand even I don¡¯t know which retreat she¡¯d have deemed the safest.¡±

    Jika stared moodily at the ground. ¡°As if we¡¯d make it there without getting attacked even if we knew.¡±

    Kuma made an acknowledging gesture and Prevna gave me a significant glance. First, she focused on the direction Nine Claws and Malady had gone before she flicked her gaze back up to the main part of the village. I rolled my eyes back at her but I got up from where I had been crouched over our bags. Better to glare my way through the village in search of our missing guides than have Prevna subjected to the hostility. She could deal the pair¡¯s pity party. If I stayed near the whining much longer my tongue wouldn¡¯t stay behind my teeth¡ªand I didn¡¯t want to start a fight in this unnatural place.

    So I left Prevna to get Kuma and Jika to shut up or make a decision while I stomped my way up the main path into the village. I¡¯d start with the building we had our meeting in the day before and, if that ended up being a bust, I assumed there¡¯d at least be someone who could order our missing guides to show up.

    I could also go look for them if all else failed but I didn¡¯t think the men wanted me poking around their village any more than I wanted to waste my time tracking down Tike and Deamar.

    A handful of the men made a show of being obscene again as I passed them but I didn¡¯t give them the satisfaction of staring or looking shocked. I just kept marching on by with only a dismissive look to take in their antics, so they wouldn¡¯t think I was ignoring them out of embarrassment.

    I think that¡¯s what they wanted out of us. Embarrassment, disgust. Helplessness in the face of their different standards here. Something to confirm all the horrible rumors about how women had treated them outside these valleys.

    No, that was about as far from my reaction as it could be now that I had gotten over my initial shock. Rather than anything so meek, so trite, rather than the icy distance I had clung to when I learned how healers were treated in the Seedling Palace, it felt like my blood was on fire.

    Here was another example where the rules that had bound me growing up were treated as some puffed up bit of wind. Something to ruffle the hair and make you shiver but not have any lasting impact.

    Here was another example of people full of life going about their business without a care that the goddess¡¯s judgment might fall down on their heads. I had yet to see a healer here but when the goddess ignored all the life that must have accumulated here, the felled trees, the lack of worship, why would She care about someone with a bit more life than the rest?

    If I had been a man, or even if I had just known about this place, I could have kept my beads and come here and lived. If I lost my blessing all it would cost me would be the pain of being on the edge of death without being able to die. I could have used the lava like the men did to create cooking fires and keep warm. Perhaps it would have been lonely and isolating, but that was what I was used to. The only difference would be the lack of judgment from the tribe.

    I could understand why the men flocked here despite the fog and other unnatural surroundings. I could feel the draw to make a place for myself, to be who and what I wanted, without a thought for what the wider society deemed appropriate. If I couldn¡¯t have been a Black Handed Healer, lauded for my skill and knowledge as much as a healer can be, I could have at least kept what little I had and damn the consequences by making my home in these cursed valleys.

    But there was a much of a chance of that now as in finding solace in the goddess¡¯s frozen wastes. Storms! The realization made fury course through my vines, made me want to break something.

    A couple that had been making out carefully broke away from each other under my glare. I hadn¡¯t even realized I had stopped to glower at them.

    The taller of the two tried to glare back at me but his tone was hesitant, ¡°What?¡±

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    ¡°Count your blessings.¡±

    You¡¯d have thought I cursed them with the way they hurried away from me. Though they were blessed to take advantage of this place, for all of its unnatural, unsettling drawbacks.

    I was as bound to the goddess as anyone could be. She had staked Her claim with the mark on my thigh when I was born, and now anything could threaten that had been pared away. Either I¡¯d succeed with my training and obtain all the boons to become a whisper woman or I¡¯d fail and likely serve Her as a Carver. Or She¡¯s rescind Her blessing and I¡¯d die, but death was Her domain too so I¡¯d be just as trapped then as I was alive.

    The same could be said of the other seedlings in the cohort as well. No matter what Juniper wanted or what the others might have aspired to as soon as we had received a unique blessing we had lost the other options that even Pickers could count on, however difficult they might be. The choice to leave the group, what skill to learn and master, the opportunity to bear a marriage brand. Even healers had a choice we couldn¡¯t act on: the choice to opt out from the path they were born into.

    All we could do was decide if we¡¯d put the effort into being the best¡ªand tie ourselves even more to the goddess¡ªor do just enough that we wouldn¡¯t be punished for the lack of effort.

    I couldn¡¯t do the latter. The thought of being incompetent grated at me, but I also hated the feeling that I was giving into the goddess¡¯s designs by trying to be the best. If She even had designs. The goddess barely seemed to care about those that lived in Her territory except for when we raised Her ire. It could be just as likely that the marks were random, but the effect was the same. I wasn¡¯t sure if that was worse but it was true that the goddess was awe inspiring, terrifying, all powerful and we were all bent to Her will by virtue of bearing Her marks and living on Her land.

    Except, of course, those that had apparently snubbed Her blessing and what Her territory offered and gotten away with it. For the most part.

    I doubted She¡¯d have such leniency for someone who was only alive multiple times over due to Her blessing. Someone who had drunk the shadows and accepted the boon of dark sight. After what the goddess¡¯s sister had done it was well known that the thing the goddess had the least tolerance for was betrayal.

    Even these men had been punished for turning their backs on Her, even if the punishments seemed light in favor of the goddess could have done.

    The guards keeping watch over their leaders¡¯ meeting hall flinched under the weight of my glare when I finally made it to the building.

    ¡°Where are Deamar and Tike?¡± I snapped.

    Perhaps they wouldn¡¯t have normally listened to a short fifteen year old that shouldn¡¯t have even been in their village or perhaps they were among the more tolerant villagers like our guides that had brought us here, either way the one on the left immediately answered.

    He pointed to the building at the top of the opposite hill, ¡°Deamar is at his family¡¯s home and Tike normally takes Klus down to the river in the morning when he¡¯s not on duty.¡±

    ¡°Fetch them. We need to leave shortly.¡± At my demand the guard on the right started to draw himself up, but I was quick to cut him down again. ¡°Your leaders promised us guides. If you want us gone, it¡¯d be in your best interest to unite us with them quickly.¡±

    I had no desire to cross the wooden bridge myself or wind my way back down the hill only to climb the other one. The guards had a quick conversation under their breath before the disgruntled guard headed for the house at the top of the other hill. Apparently, he had no concern about trodding all over the wooden bridge.

    The remaining guard offered me an apologetic smile and I turned my back on him. I didn¡¯t need condolences for rude behavior, I needed results. More men came and went from the meeting hall, giving me a variety of looks when they found me standing just off the path, but I ignored them as well. In less time than I expected, Deamar followed the guard out of the mud and wood house and joined me in front of the meeting hall. He had a traveling pack on his back.

    I focused on the guard, ¡°Have Tike meet us at our campsite once he gathers his things. As soon as possible. We¡¯ll leave once he joins us.¡±

    The guard sorely looked like he wanted to same something but his gaze caught on my black lips and he swallowed whatever he was going to say back down. Deamar didn¡¯t have the same restraint. ¡°You can¡¯t speak to him like that.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t I?¡±

    He frowned and set his shoulders. ¡°We¡¯re not the men that just let you walk all over us because we¡¯re too afraid to leave. You don¡¯t have authority here.¡±

    I titled my head. ¡°And you do?¡±

    The arrogant fool drew himself up even further. ¡°My fathers¡ª¡±

    I snorted softly. ¡°Exactly. Your leaders promised us guides and those guides failed to show up. So now I¡¯m wasting my time gathering you together. If you don¡¯t want to make them look even more incompetent, I¡¯d suggest you tell that guard to hurry up.¡± I paused as if I had just realized something. ¡°Better yet you could fetch Tike yourself. Let the guard do his job.¡±

    He stared at me as if I had just told him to grow another head. Which confirmed my suspicions that Tike was something of an outcast in this band. Enough so that he got stuck with some out of the way guard duty and that the coddled leaders¡¯ son couldn¡¯t fathom being forced to retrieve him.

    I smiled at Deamar, but I knew it wasn¡¯t kind. ¡°Or you could enjoy my company all the way back to our camp so that I can know you won¡¯t disappear again.¡±

    He scowled at me but it was as effective as a puppy trying to be intimidating. I almost scowled back at him, just so he could see what a real scowl was like, but instead I let him see my amusement. ¡°Your choice.¡±

    He huffed, he puffed, he looked to the guards for help but neither of them wanted to leave their post if they didn¡¯t have to, especially if it meant going all the way to the river.

    ¡°Fine.¡± Deamar adjusted his pack on his shoulders, already uncomfortable with the weight, and stomped his way down the hill.

    I let him get a decent length ahead of me before I set off after him. Better that than having to endure his company more than I had to.

 Book 4 - Ch. 27: Heir or Outcast

    ¡°Jika and Kuma are coming with us,¡± Prevna announced.

    ¡°No.¡± My response burst from me before I had a chance to really think it over and the Pickers both winced. I wasn¡¯t sure if I could really say I regretted it though.

    Prevna gave me a half-amused, half-exasperated look. ¡°They are. They don¡¯t have anywhere else to go right now and if we take them on as temporary firestarters than the men can¡¯t kick them out.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no such thing as temporary firestarters.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t know that.¡±

    I gave her a look that clearly communicated how little I wanted more people added to our little party. That if it wasn¡¯t for Nine Claws¡¯ order I would have left Tike and Deamar behind as well. The lack of fire and knowledge of the inner valleys might not be the worst trade off to not have to travel with imbeciles.

    ¡°We can¡¯t split them up.¡± I wanted to argue Prevna¡¯s point but I let it go based on firm her tone was. Prevna rose her eyebrows slightly and gave me her knowing smile. ¡°And they can use the common blessing. If we don¡¯t have that we¡¯ll eventually have to use the lava like the men to make the resistance mixture or succumb to the fog.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t difficult to imagine that scenario going poorly. Nor did I have any desire to make use of the unnatural molten rivers of stone. Surely, they should have cooled at some point or run out of molten rock.

    If the men had spoken truthfully about the potent mixture they had given us we had six more days at most until we¡¯d need to take it again. I knew how to make the less effective version after watching Malady make it but it was also true that without fire or the special seeds we¡¯d be helpless against the fog. I had a few seeds from when we found the hidden storage den but based on the amount I¡¯d seen Malady use they¡¯d be maybe enough for one person. And I didn¡¯t have grounder grass. We¡¯d either need Malady and Nine Claws to return on the early side of a week to get the less potent mixture from them or convince the men to give us some of their supply.

    Or get our hands on more seeds and grounder grass and make some of our own. My hands itched for that option but that meant having at least the Pickers or the boys with us to make fire.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Fine.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s smile widened into a grin and she turned to where Kuma and Jika had been pretending not to overhear our discussion on the other side of our small camp. ¡°Get ready. We¡¯ll be leaving soon.¡±

    They were already packed and ready to go, which was a good thing since I didn¡¯t have much patience to wait for them.

    Deamar showed up with Tike and Klus trailing along behind him not long after Prevna and I wrapped up our debate. The leaders¡¯ son still looked displeased at being reduced to an errand boy and Tike trudged along as if he was waiting for a storm to drop on his head at any moment. At least they had packs and were ready to leave as well.

    Deamar stood mulishly off to the side like he didn¡¯t want to somehow admit weakness by saying the first word. Tike walked a few steps past him until he seemed to realize the other boy had stopped and Tike stood awkwardly between all of us. He froze there with Klus curled around his feet.

    He cleared his throat. ¡°So¡­what are we looking for?¡±

    ¡°A relic.¡± Prevna took the lead and her gestures and tone got more theatrical as she continued, ¡°Your knowledge of the valleys will help us find a piece of history lost to time: a funeral pyre ever burning and never lit in a land hollowed out by grief.¡±

    Kuma and Jika looked a bit surprised by the description while Deamar scoffed and Tike scratched his head.

    Tike¡¯s gaze drifted to the glow the great lake of lava pressed through the fog. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re not looking for the lake? Lots of people died there in the past.¡±

    I blinked. Prevna had a moment of shock as well before she recovered, ¡°Well, that would certainly make our job easier, but we¡¯ll have to search through the valley to make sure nothing else fits the description.¡± She glanced at me. After a moment¡¯s hesitation I nodded back at her. She knew about my separate search and if we had to be stuck with all the hanger-ons we might as well use them to their full potential. ¡°We¡¯re also looking for a woman. We¡¯re told she doesn¡¯t leave these mountains and that she¡¯s long-limbed. Taller than anyone you¡¯ve ever seen.¡±

    Tike went pale and opened his mouth to speak but Deamar cut through whatever he was about to say with a scoff, ¡°There aren¡¯t any women in the inner valleys. You can go look beyond the fog and stop wasting our time.¡±

    A part of me wished I could slap him or get a good punch into his gut but I restrained myself to sharp words instead, ¡°Then Tike must know something you don¡¯t. How about you keep your mouth shut and don¡¯t waste our time?¡±

    Prevna gave me that half indulgent, half exasperated look again for she gently asked Tike, ¡°Did you think of something?¡±

    His eyes darted between all of us but his nervousness only helped to loosen his tongue. ¡°There¡¯s¡­a tale some of the older men tell when they¡¯ve had too much to drink about a spirit of the mountains. A woman with wrong proportions and obsidian eyes that¡¯ll drag you into a living grave if you get too close to her cave. You¡¯re not¡ª¡± He had to swallow to clear his throat and keep going, ¡°¡ªyou¡¯re not trying to find her, are you?¡±

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    ¡°That¡¯s a fairytale,¡± Deamar snapped. ¡°She¡¯s not real.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to admit that he could be right even if he did have a point. Not all the myths and legends I knew were true as far as I knew, whether that be in part or in full. But, on the other hand, given all things I¡¯d experienced and the fact that these people chose a winged beast as their master, I didn¡¯t think a spooky woman was that far fetched. And such a woman could be the elusive friend Esie spoke of¡ªit made more sense than the Lady of Calm Waters sending me after some completely ordinary person.

    I skewered Tike with a look, ¡°Do you know where to find her? What places everyone avoids?¡±

    He flinched back and stammered out, ¡°I-I just know the story, but there are places no one likes to go. Like the swamp two valleys over or the Nesting Grounds during mating season.¡± Interestingly, he seemed to gain confidence the more he spoke about the valleys. ¡°In this valley, if we have to, we could look at the Throttled Stones or the Night Cave. There¡¯s also the Broken Ring and The Mountain¡¯s Tears that might have to do with the relic you want to find.¡±

    He rattled off the names of a handful of more places as they came to mind and I committed them to memory. Deamar looked more and more sour as Tike continued on. I wasn¡¯t sure if because he didn¡¯t have the same knowledge of the valley as Tike did or if he simply didn¡¯t like the amount Tike was sharing with us.

    In the end, we decided to check out the Night Cave first since it matched the closest with the story Tike had shared. The Mountain¡¯s Tears wasn¡¯t far from it either so we could start off our investigation into both objectives right away. However, before we could finally leave the village, Tike brought us to the village¡¯s springs to replenish our water supply. There weren¡¯t many sources of water in the valley so we had to make use of the opportunity while we had it.

    The water from the springs tasted odd, but not foul, so I reluctantly filled my waterskin from a small pool by a cave entrance. Apparently, there were larger, hotter springs in the cave but I had no desire to search them out as that was where the villagers bathed.

    After that we followed along the valley¡¯s edge after Tike. He seemed to have the most practical knowledge of the valley. I was privately surprised that Deamar wasn¡¯t insisting on being in charge simply because of his pride, but, perhaps, his pride was also hindering his orders to act as a guide for women he didn¡¯t like and thought of as intruders. Instead, he trailed a few steps behind Tike, but still in front of us so he didn¡¯t have to look us if he didn¡¯t want to. Prevna positioned herself between them and Kuma and Jika while I took up the rear. I knew it was smart for us to take up the protective positions, and I preferred Prevna in the middle of the group than at the back, but I didn¡¯t like that it meant I couldn¡¯t speak with her without at least two people overhearing every word.

    I kept my silence while Prevna teased stories out of the others and shared a few of her own. We learned that the supposed mountain spirit was called Minhel by the villagers and that the more superstitious said that she could look at you and know your deepest desires and that was how she could lure her victims into her trap when she didn¡¯t just snatch them.

    Prevna embellished a tale from when we had been at the Rookery and what it was like to fly on the back of a giant bird. Tike seemed intrigued by the birds and nauseous at the thought of flying while Deamar clearly thought she was making the entire thing up. Jika was more interested in flying than the birds and Kuma mostly kept quiet like me.

    Then Prevna got to telling about the fight we had on our way through the inner valleys and Tike and Deamar stopped in their tracks to stare at her.

    ¡°There¡¯s no way you fought a swamp wretch with that large of an entourage and came away unharmed,¡± Deamar accused.

    ¡°Well, Jika got bit,¡± Prevna said while Jika obliging help her arm up.

    Deamar continued as if Prevna hadn¡¯t spoken, ¡°And there¡¯s no way two people can take down a swamp wretch on their own. Our best hunters¡ª¡±

    I finished slipping around the group and swept his legs out from under him before pinning his neck beneath my knee on one side and my knife on the other. I finished his sentence as it ought to have gone, ¡°Are not whisper women. They are not trained to fight monsters and do not hold the goddess¡¯s blessings.¡±

    He gritted out, ¡°We don¡¯t need anything of hers.¡±

    I snorted. ¡°You¡¯ll never be worthy enough to find out if that¡¯s a lie or not.¡± Prevna brushed a hand against my shoulder and I shoved myself up and off the idiot. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to be kicked into the dirt, I¡¯d suggest you clean out your ears and listen before spewing out whatever comes to mind.¡±

    I¡¯d had enough of his blathering. It wasn¡¯t even about baiting him into a fight like I had with Ulo more than once. It was just annoying to repeatedly watch him try to assume authority that wasn¡¯t his and act like his opinion was the only one to matter. It didn¡¯t seem like he even had skill or knowledge or accomplishments to backup his assertions, just the blind belief that as the son of his tribe¡¯s leaders he was someone to listen to. Even Juniper, for all her struggles, had put in the work to give substance to her authority over Ento and Idra as the child of a tribe leader.

    Less than a day and I was already ready to beat reality in Deamar¡¯s mind, not that I thought he¡¯d actually comprehend it. Things might be twisted in this valley but that didn¡¯t make common sense any less important or a whisper woman¡¯s skill, earned through endless trials and training, any less true. He had no right to judge when he knew nothing and would have gone on being blithely oblivious if he could.

    Klus hissed at me as Tike looked like he thought I was about to shove him into the dirt next. So, to add insult to injury, I smiled slightly at him and said, ¡°You¡¯ve been very helpful so far, Tike. Let¡¯s keep going.¡±

    We started walking and it took a long minute before I heard Deamar pull himself up and sullenly trudge after us. No doubt he was debating whether going back to the village and facing his fathers¡¯ disappointment and wrath was worth it to no longer have to deal with us. Jika gave me a wider berth than normal as we walked which put her up next to Prevna. I saw her murmur something to Prevna while fearfully glancing at me and Prevna just chuckled before replying.

    However, it wasn¡¯t long before Prevna drifted back through the group to bump shoulders with me. ¡°Let¡¯s not break the group before we even get started, hm?¡±

    I could see that she understood where I had been coming from, but this wasn¡¯t one of the times she was in full support of my temper. Even if ignorant, self-important fools was one of the easiest ways for me lose control of it.

    Still, I rolled my eyes back at her with a slight smile and she shared the smile before Prevna worked her way back up to her spot behind Tike and Klus.

    The rest of our hike to the Night Cave was uneventful much to the group¡¯s relief even if I half-hoped a random monster would burst through the trees and swallow Deamar before I had a chance to turn around and fight it.

 Book 4 - Ch. 28: The Night Cave

    The Night Cave was less like a hole burrowed into the side of the mountain and more like the mountain had nearly been split in half. The cave opening looked like a lightning strike, if the bolt had widened significantly where it struck the earth. The forest that had been pressing us close to the valley¡¯s edge also gave the cave¡¯s entrance a wide berth. Though, instead of the scenery looking like it had been blasted away from a lightning strike, it oddly looked like they were reluctant to grow near it and instead ended up in a tangled cluster at least thirty feet away. Similar to how the pine forest on the outer mountainside wouldn¡¯t grow close to the fog.

    That, in and of itself, made me interested in the cave even if I decided to ignore the fact that Tike had named it as one of the places the mountain spirit might live. Why would the unnatural trees of the inner valleys avoid the cave? What could cause the plants to behave in such away? The goddesses¡¯ influence or something else?

    I didn¡¯t miss the way Tike shuddered and stopped just before leaving the tree line. Klus hissed at his feet. I raised my eyebrows at him. ¡°Have you been inside before?¡±

    He shook his head sharply even as his gaze didn¡¯t leave the imposing cave in front of us. ¡°No. Sometimes the others dare each to see who will go in farthest but I¡­I never did that.¡±

    I immediately turned my attention on Deamar. Surely he would have done something considered foolish to prove his ¡°courage¡±.

    He scowled back at me before he took in the rest of the group and couldn¡¯t help but puff out his chest. ¡°I went all the way to where the entrance turns. No one else made it that far before they turned tail.¡±

    I nearly rolled my eyes but stopped as Prevna¡¯s request to stop driving wedges into the group dynamics whispered through my mind. Still, it boggled the mind how he could stand there, radiating confidence, when he was basically admitting that he had been too scared to break his eye line of the cave opening.

    Sadly, Tike looked impressed by his boast.

    Prevna asked, ¡°Why do you avoid the cave?¡±

    Tike gestured vaguely to the abrupt change in scenery from dense forest to grass meadow and the steep mountainside broken open by the cave. ¡°Something about it doesn¡¯t feel right. And more than few think this really is where the mountain spirit lives if she¡¯s real¡ªno one wants to become her next victim.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not real,¡± Deamar insisted.

    I gestured to the cave, ¡°Why don¡¯t you go in and confirm what is in there then?¡±

    He shifted forward, a resolute expression on his face, but he faltered as soon as his foot touched the grass and I smirked at him. He looked away, fists clenched.

    Dismissing him, I focused on Prevna. ¡°Both of us or should one of us stay out here to babysit?¡±

    We both knew that if one of us stayed it¡¯d be her. Otherwise, when she returned it¡¯d probably be to the vestiges of a fight. But it was also true that she had been repeatedly pressing me not to go off and do things on my own while she got left out. So it came down to the question if she was willing to abandon the boys and the Pickers she had insisted on dragging along to go explore with me.

    ¡°More eyes are less likely to miss anything important.¡±

    Or she could insist that everyone came along and ruined the fun. I wrinkled my nose at her but she was unmoved.

    Tike, thank the storms, very much was. ¡°Y-you want us to go in there?¡± his face brightened as he thought of something. ¡°I could spend the time you explore to figure out the best route to the Mountain¡¯s Tears from here.¡±

    Jika and Kuma had been standing off to the side since we stopped to take in the cave and neither of them looked thrilled to enter a cave where a spirit¡ªor crazed woman¡ªwho buried men alive might make her home. Even if she wasn¡¯t something like the spirits in the Warming Winds, it took a lot of strength or very dedicated effort to dig deep into the frozen ground and if Minhel wasn¡¯t the errant friend we were looking for I wasn¡¯t keen on finding out which option was the truth, either.

    Then I remembered the molten rivers of rock and every other unnatural thing in these valleys. Perhaps the ground was just as unnatural as the rest and didn¡¯t have the rock hard layer of frozen dirt under the top soil. If that was true, than burying people wouldn¡¯t be nearly so difficult.

    ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡±

    My glare cut across to where Deamar was doing a poor job of putting on a brave face. ¡°We won¡¯t be stopping at the first corner.¡±

    He stared back, indignant. ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡±

    I took a step forward and Prevna opened her mouth to say something but I held up a hand and she stayed quiet. I pressed my point, ¡°Prevna and I don¡¯t need light to see¡ªjust a little trick of the goddess. It¡¯d be a waste of time and materials to make a torch to light the way. So unless you want rely on the hope that there¡¯ll be some glowing moss, you better be prepared to be in the dark with us. Blind. Stumbling. Perhaps a nice bit of prey for mountain spirit you don¡¯t believe in.¡± I watched the horror slowly overtake his face. Then I smiled, purposefully cruel when he looked about ready to piss his pants. ¡°Still want to come?¡±

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    He didn¡¯t admit that he was being an idiot or that he shouldn¡¯t have insisted on joining us. However, I could give a point to his pride since he didn¡¯t let his gaze drift from mine. ¡°We¡¯ll keep watch and if you¡¯re not back in two hours we¡¯ll go back to the village.¡±

    No offers of coming in after us or even a generous wait time, but that was hardly surprising given how things had gone so far.

    I glanced to the side. ¡°Prevna?¡±

    ¡°Fine, we¡¯ll go.¡± She took in the rest of the group. ¡°Shout for us if something attacks and we¡¯ll come as quick as we can if we hear you. Otherwise, don¡¯t forget you can retreat into the trees or the cave if you need to. Decide on our next route and a few options for where we might camp tonight.¡±

    Tike nodded, very serious in response to her instructions while Kuma and Jika shifted more of their focus to the surrounding woods. Deamar just looked put out but we both ignored him and headed for the cave.

    The entrance was wide enough for at least ten people to walk in shoulder to shoulder, though it did narrow a bit the further we walked in. I made sure not to hurry as we strolled down the mostly straight path until we reached the first true corner.

    At that point I looked back to where Deamar was staring after us, caught his eye, and then gently slapped the corner before purposefully stepping around the corner. I did roll my eyes at how close to the entrance it was.

    The gloom in the cave immediately grew as soon as we rounded the corner and both of us were on high alert for any sign of movement. However, it seemed that Prevna had also taken turning the corner as a chance to talk without needing to be concerned with anyone¡¯s feelings.

    ¡°I know he¡¯s easy to poke at, but did you really need to scare everyone away?¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°None of them wanted to come and it is true that we don¡¯t need anything to help us see. This way we don¡¯t have to worry about them spooking at every shadow.¡±

    She touched my arm. One moment there and the next gone again. ¡°So you didn¡¯t just want to get me alone in the dark?¡±

    I didn¡¯t stumble, didn¡¯t even freeze though when my mind caught up with my body a few moments later I seriously wondered how I managed it. Instead, I poked her in the side and gave her an impish smile like she often gave me.

    ¡°I don¡¯t remember saying that.¡±

    Some emotion flickered past on her face, too fast for me discern, irritatingly enough before she gave me her familiar knowing smile. Like we both shared a secret but I couldn¡¯t know which one she knew. ¡°That so?¡±

    She looked about to say something else but this time she did slow to a stop, whatever the words had been lost to imagination as she looked past me, eyes wide. ¡°Gimley.¡±

    I whirled, expecting to see a woman with long limbs but that wasn¡¯t it at all.

    We were surrounded by the night sky. Standing on it. The path we had been following had widened into a large cavern, impossibly round and smooth, like we had just walked into a larger than life size version of one of Shawsh¡¯s sculptures. Except where his miniature sculptures normally depicted a landscape or something to symbolize a section of books in the nested library, this place seemed more akin to something out the imagination.

    Oh, I was sure the dots and clusters of stars beneath our feet were very similar to what we would see above the mountain if we got past the fog, but rather than points of light each star was a divot of darkness. Painstakingly carved and smoothed. Even the floor seemed to have been washed a lighter color so that the little fingertip sized holes stood out better in contrast. I wasn¡¯t sure if the difference in color was from the lack of light or somehow there were two different types of stone or someone had taken the time to paint every little star.

    The true wonder was over our heads though.

    Carved pine trees jutted down from the ceiling to point at our heads. And beneath their boughs were carved cooking fires¡ªand people. Heads thrown back in laughter, smiling, other positions of excitement. Happiness. No fear of reprisal or judgment as they enjoyed their peace in the Silver Forest.

    Beyond them, in one far off corner, the single spot marring the smooth sphere of the cavern, I could make out hands reaching from a pitch black hole. The sheer multitude of them monstrous but futile. There was no escaping the Ever Dark.

    ¡°What is this?¡± Prevna asked as she turned slowly in a circle. ¡°Who would make this? And how?¡±

    I didn¡¯t point out that it was clearly a replica of the afterlife: the sky we saw, the one we hoped to one day join, and the one we feared to ever cross into. Prevna could tell that as easily as I could, so I stayed silent. There wasn¡¯t any other good answer I could give.

    My first thought was Shawsh since he made those miniatures and had apparently been invited into the goddess¡¯s nest to carve one of Her walls. His talent could match the scene surrounding us. But when would he have been here? And how would he have reached the ceiling? Why would he, or any one else, bother to carve such a scene in this random place painstaking detail by painstaking detail? It wasn¡¯t as if the hidden villagers were appreciating the work. They didn¡¯t even seem to go far enough into the cave to realize what was here except for perhaps whoever had first discovered it and given it its name.

    My next thought was that for some reason the goddess had created the scene as reminder for the men in the valley¡ªthat She was inescapable one way or another in death even if they couldn¡¯t see the sky, but the whole scene seemed too¡­intricate for Her normal displays of power. Besides, as far as I could tell the only statues She bothered to create were of Her Beloved, and it seemed more than odd for Her to give such attention to statues of other people. Or portraying them as happy and carefree since the only thing I could think of where She had bothered to make carvings of people other than the Beloved was Flickermark¡¯s tortured exit tunnel.

    I didn¡¯t have a third explanation unless the mountain spirit the men were so frightened of turned out to be an exemplary stone carver. Perhaps out of boredom. Or maybe this could also be an abandoned carver¡¯s enclave, but that guess lost weight given that their focus was supposed to be on carving wood not stone and the latter seemed to be something only done on individual statues, not a whole room turned into another reality. And it brought up the same question of how they would have managed to reach the ceiling to do the carving in the first place.

    We stood there taking in the room for a long while. Caught by all the detail, the wonder of the place. The overwhelming happiness of the stone people above us, so unlike the carefully contained reality we knew.

    Finally, we pulled ourselves from staring at the carvings to looking for any other exits or tunnels that might lead from the cavern. At first glance the walls seemed incredibly smooth with no place for tunnels to ruin how smooth and rounded they were. But that was a lie created by the darkened chamber. When we got close to the edge of the cavern we could see that some parts of the walls were further back than others and had alcoves hidden along them.

    And one alcove in particular had a question carved into its back wall.

    What binds you?

 Book 4 - Ch. 29: Rising Questions

    I froze once I read the message on the wall. This whole chamber pulled on too many memories¡ªthe unsettling dreams, the message in the tunnels under Flickermark, visiting the Carver¡¯s Enclave¡ªfor it to merely be a coincidence, even if it seemed just as illogical for a message carved into the wall of a long abandoned cave to be for me.

    I wanted to ask Prevna if she saw the message as me. To make sure this place and the weird dreams and the fog weren¡¯t somehow twisting my perception. But I also wasn¡¯t quite ready to admit to the questions that were haunting me. The lack of focus, the fear.

    So instead I said, ¡°We should leave.¡±

    A heart beat, two, and, where Prevna normally would have agreed or made some quip, silence stretched. I torn my gaze from the message on the wall to where she should have been standing.

    Only shadowed stone filled my gaze.

    Prevna wasn¡¯t there. Wasn¡¯t anywhere in sight.

    I tore back into the central chamber, searching. Raced to the other alcoves we had found just in case she decided to double back for some reason.

    ¡°Prevna?¡±

    Still no answer and she knew better than to drag out a prank this long. But she couldn¡¯t have¡­she couldn¡¯t be gone. Not without me noticing. Not even if the mountain spirit was known for snatching people.

    Prevna would have fought. Screamed. I would have heard.

    I scrambled around the chamber, desperately trying to remember the last time we spoke, the last time I actually looked at her and didn¡¯t just assume she was there.

    The more I looked the more it simply reinforced the notion that there was nothing on the main floor of the chamber to block my view. That if she was here and I couldn¡¯t see her, Prevna would have to be in an alcove. I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to look at the statues overhead, not quite able to stare down the fear that if I looked up I¡¯d suddenly see her among them. Locked in stone and impossible to reach.

    I searched the alcoves, one after another, and there was always another to run to. Dozens more than we had found in our initial search and more than I thought there could be, but I brushed that thought aside. The chamber stretched on and on, and if I just searched one more fast enough I¡¯d find her.

    I stopped. Froze again as I fully became aware of the impulse driving me on.

    That wasn¡¯t right. That wasn¡¯t how I¡¯d normally think or approach this. Running around blindly without a single critical thought in my head.

    I blinked, forcing myself to recenter and take in the facts. Prevna was gone. I was in a chamber that prominently displayed the three versions of the afterlife. And¡­the tunnel we used to enter the chamber was gone¡­and the whole room was distorted and more shadowed than it should have been with my dark vision.

    This wasn¡¯t right. This wasn¡¯t the chamber we had found even if it was nearly identical. Perhaps it wasn¡¯t even real, like when my memories overwhelmed my mind.

    Blocking out the chamber, I closed my eyes and focused on the things I knew were real. The things I should be seeing, smelling, hearing instead of this impossibly quiet place.

    The chamber might be in black and white but I should be able to see the edges of it without any trouble. They wouldn¡¯t be obscured in darkness. There had been the faint movement of air flowing towards the entrance where there wasn¡¯t anything now, cool against my face. The cave had been quiet but it hadn¡¯t the same quality of swallowing sound that was happening now. Our steps had echoed. It had smelled of dirt and the musty air that often came with underground places. Occasionally I had caught the scent of the small pouch Prevna had recently taken to wearing around her neck. Sweet flowers and sprigs of fresh leaf. I had asked her about it while we were at the Seedling Palace but she had brushed off the question by saying she was trying something new.

    That was real. True. And, just like when I forced my awareness back to reality from the memories, when I opened my eyes this time she¡¯d be in front of me, exasperated and worried. Safe. Not gone.

    That was also true.

    I opened my eyes.

    It was still the same distorted chamber I was trying to escape from but¡ªthere was a change. Monstrously long fingers curled around my shoulders, holding me in place.

    With the disturbing hands came that grinding voice from past nightmares hissing in my ear, ¡°Aren¡¯t you quick? Quick to search and quick to leave even though you came here for me.¡±

    I ignored the voice and the hands, putting all my focus on breaking free of this nightmare. I couldn¡¯t think of when I had fallen asleep but how else could I have been caught so easily and so unaware? How else could Prevna have disappeared without so much as a whisper?

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    The valley was playing its tricks and I refused to succumb.

    I closed my eyes again and brought the image of cavern we had entered into perfect detail in my mind, the path leading to the open space outside and the trees crowding away from it. I pictured how the Pickers and the boys were likely waiting uneasily, unhappy with each others¡¯ company.

    Opened my eyes only to find that the nightmare held fast like the strongest of my memories. I gritted my teeth as the voice spoke again.

    ¡°So eager to run away when you should stay, aren¡¯t you? Unable to face the thing you¡¯re looking for in case it doesn¡¯t match with what you wish. But who could even say what that is when you refuse to tell even yourself the truth?¡±

    A new tactic then. I could ask questions too. ¡°Who are you? What do you want?¡±

    ¡°You know the answer. Now,¡± between one breath and the next I was back in the alcove with the message on the wall as if I had never left, ¡°what binds you?¡±

    Some unnatural entity or my own subconscious, I wouldn¡¯t lose. I glared at the demanding question. ¡°What binds you?¡±

    The hands flexed before relaxing again. Still, they were like  bands of stone given my inability to break free of them. I tried to will myself to at least look over my shoulder, to at least get a glimpse of what held me, but the question on the wall filled my vision and my head wouldn¡¯t turn from it.

    Cold prickled up my spine at the lack of control but I couldn¡¯t even throw myself into that distant comfort, separating myself from the horror that wanted to overwhelm me in this place.

    The irrational fear only grew as the voice easily answered what I couldn¡¯t. ¡°I am bound by a wish full of hunger for choice, for balance, for knowledge of what the goddesses hoard. I am bound as a reminder of what they wish to control and the failure they can¡¯t escape. I will fulfill that wish until the end of days and I will relish in it.¡±

    ¡°Nothing survives the goddess¡¯s wrath.¡±

    ¡°She might wish it so, but your goddess nor the other one can destroy what makes them. What makes me.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not of the Grove.¡±

    Claiming that would have been beyond absurd even for this nightmare. Even if everything the voice said had a ring of truth to it that I didn¡¯t want to acknowledge or accept.

    That grating, earthy voice sounded proud as it agreed with me. ¡°No. But while those two might be grand wildfires to my torch we are still of the same make. Even you have a spark, everything does.¡± The voice became harsh. ¡°No matter how they deny it.¡±

    Even in dream I doubted I could be so vocally critical of the goddess. This definitely wasn¡¯t my subconscious, spinning fears and doubts into disturbing nightmares. Something else had me and¡ªwhile I doubted it could be anything like the goddess in nature or power¡ªthere was little doubt that it something more than the mundane. Perhaps something akin to the wind spirits, Tike¡¯s earth spirit, a dream entity.

    The voice continued, pressing its questions again, ¡°Haven¡¯t you seen things more than what your blessings could account for? Haven¡¯t you wondered where their power comes from? Heard tales of your ancestors managing feats you could only wish for now?¡±

    I didn¡¯t have the patience to listen to questions now. Not when Prevna was still missing and it felt like even listening the entity¡¯s words were liable to get my blessing revoked and permanently killed.

    ¡°Let me go.¡±

    The fingers lightly scratched against my neck. ¡°Consider it and return when you¡¯re ready to face me. When you can look upon that question and provide an answer that propels you forward, instead of holding you back.¡±

    I blinked one last time and when I opened my eyes I was on the ground in the main chamber, flat on my back and staring up at statue with its arms flung wide as it grinned down at me. It wasn¡¯t Prevna.

    My mark wasn¡¯t burning so whatever that entity had done it wasn¡¯t life threatening. A groan came from my left. My focus snapped to the side to find Prevna pushing herself up from where she had been lying on her stomach.

    She gave me a weak smile. ¡°Did you dream of being lost in a never ending underground maze too?¡±

    I nodded even as my throat closed at thought of sharing everything else. It was close enough to the truth and rambling out loud about the questions and theories the entity had raised about the goddess felt like it was an exercise in asking for the goddess¡¯s punishment. That would have to wait until I had my own chance to process what had happened.

    Prevna glanced around the chamber before she asked, ¡°Do you think it was the fog?¡±

    There wasn¡¯t the least bit of haze in the cave. Something else that should have stood out to me more when we first entered it. And that was also beside the fact that we should still have days left before it could affect us.

    I shook my head. ¡°Something else.¡±

    ¡°The earth spirit?¡±

    I gave her my own thin smile. ¡°Maybe we weren¡¯t her preferred prey so she had a different sort of fun.¡±

    Prevna shuddered and pointedly looked towards the entrance tunnel that clearly stood out against the rest of the chamber as if it had never been missing. ¡°Ready to go?¡±

    I nodded again and we pulled ourselves to our feet before hurrying as quick as we could from the Night Cave without actually running. We still had our dignity and the others didn¡¯t need to know how disturbing our visit had turned out to be.

    Still, they could tell something was wrong despite Prevna and I glossing over everything except that we hadn¡¯t found what we were looking for. It took all of sentence or two from Prevna and we were off to the spot Tike had identified as the best place to camp for the night. At least, the whole ordeal had lasted less than two hours so we didn¡¯t have to chase after them had Deamar had stuck to his ultimatum.

    My fingers found the stone Esie had given me as we walked away. Despite my misgivings, if that cursed entity was who I suspected I would have to return to that cave before we left the inner valleys for good. After all, surely there could only be so many elusive, disproportioned beings in the inner valleys.

    Even so, I didn¡¯t like the ease with which my dreams compromised or how Prevna and I both fallen asleep without even noticing. Not that I had any clear options on how to fix it. Nor did I like that it seemed like I had been targeted before I ever had the stone. Had the Lady of Calm Waters known what was happening or guessed? Or did the dream infiltrator do the same to everyone new to the mountains and my connection to both was simple coincidence?

    Either way, I was glad to leave that cave and its imagery and its questions behind. We could focus on our main mission to search for the relic for now and come back to the cave once I could stand up to onslaught of questions and ideas that the entity forced on me without mercy or remorse.

 Book 4 - Ch. 30: Open Eyes

    We ended up camping under the wide branches of a tree with silvered bark and long frondlike leaves that drooped to the ground. I liked that it obscured our camp from sight even if I didn¡¯t like that, on the other hand, we couldn¡¯t see any attackers coming unless we were outside the tree¡¯s reach. Not that the fog made visibility easy at the best of times.

    Really, I wished we could have found a nice normal pine tree¡ªeven one with the prickly needles¡ªhigh enough to be outside the fog, but that was impossible down in the valley. Nothing was normal here. That had been apparent since Mishtaw and Creed stumbled their way down the mountainside, barely coherent, and fell asleep at our feet.

    Nothing could be trusted. Not even my own awareness or dreams. And it was one thing to know that at given moment something might trigger a memory that I wouldn¡¯t catch in time, that I¡¯d slip into. That was common threat I had grown used to and could fight.

    It was quite another when I couldn¡¯t even trust my own dreams. The idea that I could be at the mercy of the memories of one while I was awake and unable to escape the manipulation of another while I slept. Only able to wake up when given permission.

    Even though it was still only somewhere between late afternoon and early evening when we arrived at the campsite the others spread out their bedrolls and claimed their places. I climbed up the tree. Prevna¡¯s gaze was an inquisitive weight on my back as I made my way up into the branches but she let me go without a word. The others seemed relieved to have a break from my sharp tongue as well given the way they bustled around and refused to comment on my disappearance. Occasionally, they glance up through the branches before hurrying to do something else, like they thought their looks would draw me back down.

    At least among the long leaves, if I ignored their bulky width and the tree¡¯s light bark I could pretend I was in the Seedling Palace, in one of the little nooks I had made my own. That night I took first watch and didn¡¯t wake anyone else up for the second or third.

    Prevna was immediately suspicious. Between Jika and Deamar commenting on how well they slept and the fact I hadn¡¯t woken her up like I promised and the yawns I kept suppressing, she knew something had wrong with the night watch shifts. She tried to ask me about it but I gave an excuse about not sleeping well and shifted the conversation to our mission to discover the relic. Part of me wasn¡¯t sure if I should be impressed or worried that she had slept the night through after being pulled into dream like I had been.

    We hiked to the Mountain¡¯s Tears which was an impressive section of rock that looked like a face crying twin streams of lava, but it didn¡¯t really seem like the relic we were looking for. Filled with a semblance of grief, yes, but it didn¡¯t have much in the way of a funeral pyre or being ever burning without being lit unless you counted the molten rock and at that point the whole valley could be considered the relic.

    We moved on to another one of the places Tike had thought of as potential relics and then another and another as the days kept passing by. Nothing quite seemed to match what little we had to go off of.

    I didn¡¯t dream. Mostly because I barely slept. I got better at hiding the lack by saying I¡¯d take second or third watch and then I would lay awake waiting for whoever was on watch to come ¡°wake¡± me up. Sometimes I didn¡¯t wake the watch after.

    I could tell that I wasn¡¯t thinking as quickly, reacting as fast or noticing as much because of the lack of sleep, but that only made me wish I had a stimulant to help wake me up. But there wasn¡¯t anything for me to use in my pouches and nothing I recognized as we hike back and forth through the valley.

    Logically, I knew I needed to sleep. That I couldn¡¯t continue this forever and that I was worrying Prevna. Logically, I knew that the entity hadn¡¯t actually ever hurt me in the dreams and that she hadn¡¯t pressed me with questions every night.

    But then the panic of turning to find Prevna gone without a trace would bubble up in my chest and the horror of closing and opening my eyes only to find the nightmare unending would scratch at the back of my throat¡ªand no matter how gritty my eyes were and how my head ached I¡¯d find my gaze trained on the fog surrounding us without blinking.

    At least then my will was my own.

    Prevna tried to get me to talk. She¡¯d prod and joke and once even joined me up in the tree I had claimed for the evening to lean close and tell me all about how she had been trapped in her own dream. Turning suddenly to find me no longer with her and the chamber gone. Instead she had sprinted through tunnels of stone that hadn¡¯t ended until she tripped on a rock and suddenly woke up.

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    I deflected and kept silent and tried not to snap back at her in turn. I knew she was only trying to help. Trying to get me to open to her like I had before but anything I tried to say got stuck in my throat. The problem wasn¡¯t with the nightmares or the insistent questions or the things the entity had insinuated about the goddesses. Those were problematic and interesting, stressful, but they weren¡¯t what truly made me unable to sleep.

    No, this was something deeper, something so ingrained that I didn¡¯t always have the words for it even when I could make myself look at it fully. This was the same impulse that had pushed me to cut up Fellen¡¯s hair cord and the part of me that hated our unfamiliar surroundings even as it relished how the others were responding to my glares and curt responses exactly how I wanted them to: by giving me space.

    Everyone but Prevna.

    And it took more than I liked to hold that impulse back from digging through my memories and cutting her down like I had with Fellen. That wasn¡¯t what I wanted in the long run. I knew that, and, perversely, that same part me of was pleased by my restraint.

    After all, that was a clear bit of control amidst the threats that could make everything else go sideways.

    As long as I was awake I could be vigilant against memories and dreams taking over my awareness. I could test myself to see if I had suddenly slipped into a dream or not. I could watch over our group and know that everyone was there in their proper place.

    So I stayed awake.

    It wasn¡¯t like I couldn¡¯t pay the price for it. Better to be grumbled about and given pensive looks than have everyone nice and close, and have even more to worry about. It almost felt like being the healer¡¯s daughter in the tribe again. Comfortingly uncomfortable. Familiar.

    Everything passed in a blur. There were a surprising number of things and places that had potential to be the relic we were looking for in this valley alone, but despite my usually strong memory I would have been hard pressed to tell someone about the things we had looked at without mixing them together. My focus was elsewhere.

    By the fourth day, Prevna lost all patience for my deflections and excuses. The others had disappeared somewhere and I found myself standing across from her inside a ring of stones though three of the stones had fallen over into a pile. Carvings were etched into each stone telling the simple story of a funeral.

    ¡°Tell me why I shouldn¡¯t let the fog make you sleep once our dose runs out?¡±

    My attention snapped back to Prevna. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    She laughed but it sounded more exasperated than amused. ¡°When we got here you just stared at the stones. You didn¡¯t try to figure out if they match the relic¡¯s description or tell Deamar to stop acting like an idiot or interrogate Tike to learn more about this place. Since when do you just stare at stones?¡± Prevna crossed her arms and glared at me. ¡°Unless you don¡¯t care about our mission anymore?¡±

    Suddenly, I was nine years old again. Feeling sick and nauseated and betrayed by my body. Hating how weak I felt simply because the goddess had walked past me on the Calling Road and knowing that I wasn¡¯t supposed to be weak. Needing to prove that I wasn¡¯t a child. So I fought to stay on my feet only for a disgusted snort to come from overhead.

    ¡°You were supposed to be better than this.¡±

    I blinked and I was back in my grownup body. Truly not a child but feeling just as sick weak and hating it.

    Not a memory I had to break out of but enough of one to feel kicked in the teeth. Only to feel it again when I glanced up to see Prevna staring at me, wide eyed. She knew what I looked like when I got caught in a memory. This one might have been quick but Prevna had always been observant.

    Her whole demeanor had softened and she reached one hand partially out toward me, caught somewhere between shock and concern. ¡°A memory?¡±

    I didn¡¯t answer but my sudden focus on the ground was answer enough. Prevna tensed. A memory, and neither of us had ever thought she could trigger one.

    Her outstretched hand curled into a fist and she let it drop to her side. ¡°I¡¯ll leave you be.¡±

    I heard her turn and start to walk away, somehow unable to tear my gaze from the ground but I couldn¡¯t let it end like that. Not with her.

    ¡°Prevna?¡±

    She stopped immediately and turned back to face me. I answered her unspoken question. ¡°Don¡¯t give me the next resistance dose right away even if I ask for it.¡± I swallowed and got the next part out past my dry throat. ¡°I can¡¯t sleep.¡±

    If I was forced to sleep by the fog that would at least give me some kind of relief even if the thought of succumbing to it also made my skin crawl.

    She nodded.

    And that made me just brave enough to ask the next nearly whispered question. ¡°Stay with me then?¡±

    She smiled and nodded again. ¡°Where else would I go?¡±

    We didn¡¯t search out any more potential relics. Instead we camped out by the ring of stones until it was time to return the village before we all ran out of our resistance to the fog. Deamar put up a fuss since he wanted to go back to the village right away but no one else was keen on returning, not even Tike, and interestingly enough Deamar didn¡¯t seem confident in his ability to hike back on his own.

    Prevna kept close by me even though I was poor company as we hiked back. Which shouldn¡¯t have been a problem, and hadn¡¯t been, since Tike had skillfully lead us around the valley¡¯s dangers while we searched for the relics. So skillfully, that neglecting our usual strategic positions hadn¡¯t seemed like a issue especially in my sleep deprived state.

    Which was of course when the valley decided to remind us that it shouldn¡¯t be taken lightly.

 Book 4 - Ch. 31: On the Run

    A shape barreled out of the woods to our left. Some part of my mind screamed at me to move out of the way, to shove Prevna away, but my limbs might as well have been weighed down by mud for how slow I was in responding to it. Someone screamed and then I was on the ground. It took another long moment to register that Prevna was on top of me with her arms wrapped protectively around my head. Still, I could see enough to watch an elk-like creature disappear back into the other woods on the other side of our group.

    Elk didn¡¯t travel alone. Even through my exhaustion I knew that, and I doubted that creature was much different. More would be traveling through and we had no idea how big of a herd we would need to out pace.

    Prevna scrambled up and pulled me to my feet with her. Another elk-like animal thundered past a handful of feet in front of Tike. Not a moment later and two more sprinted past behind us. The ground was starting to rumble from the oncoming herd.

    ¡°Up!¡± I pointed at the tallest, sturdiest looking tree nearby. It certainly wasn¡¯t an elder tree that had weathered hundreds of storms but it didn¡¯t look like it snap if something rammed into it either. ¡°Go up or get trampled!¡±

    That got everyone moving. Tike heaved Klus up onto his shoulders and, in an unexpected show of strength, heaved himself and his crocodile up into the branches. Kuma lifted Jika up to a higher branch, grimacing as she put weight on her still healing arm, while Deamar scrambled up after Tike. Kuma snagged me next before I could protest and I grabbed onto the branch shoved in front of my face. Then I scrambled out of the way so Kuma and Prevna could have a spot to climb up to. The branch below me groaned a bit under Kuma¡¯s weight but it held, and I wasted a moment making sure Prevna had followed the boys into the branches.

    Prevna caught me looking and gestured upward with her head in silent encouragement to keep climbing. We climbed and the forest below us filled with a thundering mass of hooves and antlers and thick bodies that were more like a living, raging river than anything else.

    The branches jittered and shook beneath us from the impact of their passing. At one point, Deamar was suddenly confronted with a face full of crocodile when Klus slipped from his ungainly perch on Tike¡¯s shoulders. He caught the crocodile and through a lucky combination of a sturdy branch at his back and Prevna¡¯s help they didn¡¯t tumbled into the herd below. After that, we settled around the middle of the tree and they passed Klus back up to Tike so they could cling together.

    ¡°What are they?¡± Jika was staring down at the herd.

    Deamar puffed out his chest, proud to know something we didn¡¯t. ¡°Bounty elk. It¡¯s said you¡¯ll never want for food, plant or meat, if you tame a herd of them.¡±

    From the glimpses I had gotten of the creatures I could understand where the legend had come from. All of the bounty elk had snow white fur and the bunches of plants growing off their flanks stood out starkly against it. Dark green leafy vegetables and bright berries. Gourds and flowers twining around and nestled among antlers.

    I had never seen anything like them but in that moment I could have honestly said that I preferred the elk I was used to. None of those had ever nearly trampled me.

    Tike clutched Klus closer to him. ¡°No one¡¯s been able to tame them though. They have a temper worse than the male crocodiles during mating season. All the time.¡±

    We waited for the herd to pass us by, clutching white knuckled to the tree so we wouldn¡¯t fall. The herd passed, but the crush of animals didn¡¯t disappear. Others took their place: hares and foxes, the oversized rats, squirrels and wild cats without a single glance between predator and prey.

    More animals than I had seen since coming to these mountains and they all seemed to be following one directive: get away as fast as possible.

    And we weren¡¯t moving.

    I tried to wipe the exhaustion from my eyes before I skewered Tike with a glare. ¡°Do you know what¡¯s happening?¡±

    He was about to respond when a red ember floated past his face. He paled as soon as he saw it and said, more to himself than us, ¡°But it¡¯s too early.¡±

    Deamar caught sight of the ember as well and his face froze with fear as well.

    Jika hissed, ¡°What is it?¡±

    I watched Tike take in our group, most of us missing what was happening simply because we hadn¡¯t grown up in the inner valleys, and I watched his fear turn to dread as he realized there was too much to explain in too short a time.

    Deamar scrambled to his feet. ¡°We need to get back to the village.¡±

    More embers drifted past and Tike shook his head. ¡°It¡¯s too far. Based on the course I had planned we would make it back by this evening. We won¡¯t make it.¡±

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    ¡°So make another path!¡± Deamar demanded.

    Tike hunched in on himself and Klus hissed at Deamar. ¡°It¡¯s too far.¡±

    Jika looked about ready to start yelling, Deamar to keep spouting pointless demands, and if they both bore into Tike I knew I¡¯d lose my one good source of information.

    I cut them both off with another glare. ¡°Shut up.¡± They shut up and I focused on Tike. ¡°Tell me the bare basics. What are we up against? How long do you think we have until it gets here?¡±

    The words spilled out him just like I wanted them to. ¡°The fire dancers. Normally they show up after the high point of the growing season but it¡¯s¡ª¡±

    I cut him off before he could start rambling about how it was too early for them to show up. We had heard that already. ¡°And what¡¯s dangerous about them?¡±

    He swallowed before stammering out, ¡°T-they set whatever¡¯s in their path on fire. The ash is important but they can even set the black wood we use in the lava on fire with their touch¡­it doesn¡¯t spread but from what we know they don¡¯t always discriminate about what to touch either.¡±

    ¡°And how long until they reach us?¡±

    He focused on the glowing embers. ¡°Soon.¡±

    So.

    We had to run and hide from ¡°fire dancers¡± that would burn us to a crisp if they got close enough to touch us.

    I watched as an ember touched the trunk of our tree but it didn¡¯t even leave a singe mark. Perhaps those didn¡¯t need to be a worry then.

    We had less than half a day until we needed more of the fog resistance drink and animals were still streaking by underfoot.

    ¡°Is there any place they don¡¯t go?¡±

    ¡°The village,¡± Deamar grumbled but I ignored him. That wasn¡¯t an option.

    Tike shrugged helplessly, ¡°Their path is unpredictable. They always emerge from the lake at different spots every year and return to it at different places too.¡±

    ¡°Do they do anything at the lake?¡±

    He shook his head. ¡°Not after the first part of the dance.¡±

    A stupid, reckless plan was forming in the back of my mind but I didn¡¯t have anything else and it was clear staying in a forest with pyromaniacs would be even stupider.

    We weren¡¯t near the edge of the valley any more and I doubted we¡¯d be able to find a suitable cave to hide in with the time we had. Not when all the animals had run in that direction and there wasn¡¯t exactly a direct path through the forest to its edge. Not when we couldn¡¯t know which direction the fire dancers might decide to go.

    But we did know where they wouldn¡¯t be. They didn¡¯t return to where they¡¯d already been. If we went to the lake it might be fire and ash and ruin, but if we could avoid the worst of that we could also avoid the dancers. And we were relatively close to the lake. You always were in this valley.

    All of this was also contingent on if we could avoid them when we inevitably had to go around their fiery rampage, of course.

    I decided to get one last piece of information from Tike. ¡°Are there any of those floating boxes near here? Any place like the one near your village where they commonly dock at?¡±

    ¡°I¡ªI don¡¯t¡ª¡±

    ¡°Steamer¡¯s Fall.¡± Deamar leapt at the chance to show what knowledge he had even if it meant helping out the ones who ruined his spoiled life. ¡°We collect plants and water from there. I think someone is sent out everyday to check on it.¡±

    At least he could have his priorities straight when our lives were on the line.

    The question was then: how close was Steamer¡¯s Fall to where the fire dancers had emerged? Possible rescue or should we head to whatever disaster had been left in the dancers¡¯ wake? And if we did the latter, would we be able to that point without running into the fire dancers?

    My head ached and the embers were getting thicker while the stream of animals was getting thinner and thinner. One way or another we needed to move.

    ¡°Down. We¡¯ll head for Steamer¡¯s Fall.¡±

    Everyone listened without a fuss.

    Despite the fact that Deamar had named our destination, Tike and Klus still led the way. They seemed to know the dangers of the valley more intimately than Deamar and Tike knew where the fall was even if he hadn¡¯t recalled the supply run.

    Kuma fell into a protective spot at the back of the group as we all broke into a jog. Part of me just wanted to sprint but that would have been a fool¡¯s move between the fog and making our stamina last. We were pushing it by running at all when we couldn¡¯t see that far around us, but I doubted we could walk and avoid the fire dancers¡¯ path.

    The rest of us fell into a clump between them. Normally, I would have insisted that we fix our positions so we couldn¡¯t trip each other up, but between keeping up with everyone else¡¯s longer legs and trying to force my mind through contingency plans, I didn¡¯t have the energy spare.

    Tike led us in a wide arc around the direction the embers were coming from. They were our best indicator of where the danger lay and everyone was keen to avoid that. The trouble was that the embers were getting thicker and thicker, filling the air, and with the way they shifted with the wind it was beginning to get more difficult to tell if the dancers¡¯ path had changed directions or not. If we were avoiding them like we wanted.

    The embers also stung but they didn¡¯t leave marks behind when they touched our skin or clothes. Another unnatural thing about this valley.

    We ran.

    At first all I heard was our panting breaths and the thump and crunch of our footsteps but at some point something else started to tease the edge of my hearing. Something high and layered and full of joy.

    A smaller noise came from the front of our group and I cut my gaze to Tike. He glanced back at us, past us, just for a moment, before he was forced to face forward again or risk running face first into a tree.

    But we all still heard him when he said, ¡°The old men always said that if you could hear their singing you might as well sing along and enjoy your last moments.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t waste your breath,¡± I snapped.

    We kept running and I quietly hoped that Steamer¡¯s Fall was as close as Deamar claimed. That whoever had been sent there today hadn¡¯t finished up early. That whatever the fire dancers were they kept to to their path and well away from us.

    I had enough to deal without the real possibility of only coming out of this with only a crocodile that could swim in lava for company¡ªand there was the chance Klus wasn¡¯t immune to the fire dancers¡¯ touch either.

    I glanced over at Prevna and gritted my teeth. That wouldn¡¯t happen. I wouldn¡¯t allow that to be the outcome.

    And there was just as strong of a possibility that the fire dancers would veer away from us if what Tike had said was true. They were unpredictable. The worst possibility wasn¡¯t guaranteed.

    So we ran and I did my best to think of every other possibility.

 Book 4 - Ch. 32: Every Other Possibility

    I didn¡¯t know we had made it to Steamer¡¯s Fall until Tike nearly ran off a small cliff. Klus tripped him just in time so that he tumbled to the edge of it, bruised and shocked but not plummeting to whatever waited below. He rolled over to scold the crocodile before he noticed the cliff edge a few inches from his side. From what I could tell Klus got a hug instead of a scolding.

    The fog was thicker here, more humid. Not quite to the point where you couldn¡¯t see past your own nose, but Tike and Klus were closer to silhouettes than anything else despite only being a handful of feet away and the cliff drop a suggestion of thicker fog and shadow until you got up close to it. I slipped up the edge but I couldn¡¯t make out anything new. The daylight was diffused so thoroughly that it might as well have been evening for all I could tell, though I knew we hadn¡¯t run that long. I couldn¡¯t help but feel a smidgen of respect for whoever had to gather here everyday; no doubt the wet, blinding fog and cliff didn¡¯t make it as easy as Deamar made it sound.

    The roar of a waterfall didn¡¯t sound too far off and it was accompanied by a loud hissing noise that I could only assume was from the waterfall hitting the lake of molten rock. Futilely trying to put out a fire it was no match for.

    I turned back to the others, ready to ask if Tike or Deamar knew the way down so we wouldn¡¯t be caught between fire dancers and a cliff edge, when something about our group struck me as odd.

    Tike was still on the ground near me with Klus. Prevna and Jika a few steps away on the other side of him, also peering into the fog. Deamar was half covered in fog, keeping his distance from the rest of us while casting glances over his shoulder like the fire dancers might reach out and touch him at any moment.

    ¡°Kuma?¡± I asked.

    But I didn¡¯t see her tall form anywhere in the haze and she didn¡¯t answer my call. I hadn¡¯t heard her fall or stumble behind us, I was sure of that, but I had also been focused on keeping up with the others¡¯ pace and thinking through every possibility.

    This wasn¡¯t one I had rated as very likely. She was an experienced Picker band member, someone who could keep up and adapt. She shouldn¡¯t have been too proud to call for help or too slow to keep up. Though that didn¡¯t change the fact that as far as I could tell we had all arrived without her and from the shocked looks on everyone else we didn¡¯t have a clue on where she had disappeared.

    Either we left her and hoped she¡¯d be able to make it back to the village once this was all over or someone had to retrace our steps and hope we found her.

    Prevna came to the same conclusion as me. ¡°I¡¯ll go find her. I¡¯m the one who insisted she join us.¡±

    Jika tensed up at that but she didn¡¯t offer to join the search. Apparently, the threat of being burned to nothing was too much for her even though she had more connection to Kuma than Prevna or me.

    I shook my head. ¡°No, I¡¯ll go.¡±

    Prevna gave me a long look before she caught my hand and pulled me away from the others. ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡± I opened my mouth to protest but she squeezed my hand and I closed it again so she could say what she needed to. ¡°You¡¯re smart and observant and you¡¯re always the first to throw yourself into dire situations because you can make decisions in a heartbeat while everyone is still thinking. But you¡¯re not at your best. You¡¯ve been awake for days and your reactions are slow.¡±

    She dropped her head so our foreheads touched and she could stare into my eyes while I had to match her. ¡°If you get caught by the fire dancers it¡¯d be worse for you than rest of us. We don¡¯t know how long their fire lasts and you wouldn¡¯t have an escape from it if you can¡¯t put it out. Keep everyone who stays here safe and trust me.¡±

    I swallowed. Not quite able to give into her argument or protest against it when all she was doing was asking for what she always wanted. Just a little bit of trust. Acknowledgment that she could survive without me trying to control every little thing.

    Prevna saw me waver, so she pressed her point. ¡°We don¡¯t have much time. Like I said, Kuma is my responsibility and you need to rest. Let me go and if we don¡¯t find her quickly we can always meet back up at the village.¡±

    ¡°The fog¡­¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    Such a blatant lie, but I still found myself wanting to believe it. Wanted to give Prevna what she was asking for even if some part of me was insisting that if I wasn¡¯t the one to go than something was bound to happen that I¡¯d regret. Nor could I quite find my usual retorts to turn the conversation in my favor.

    ¡°If¡­¡± I cut off the doomsday hypothetical I wanted to ask and instead forced a conflicted smile on my face. ¡°Don¡¯t make me regret this.¡±

    Prevna chuckled and straightened up. ¡°You regret everything.¡± Then more serious, ¡°If there is someone who can you back don¡¯t wait for us. I¡¯ll take Tike. He knows this whole valley like the back of his hand.¡±

    We rejoined the others who cut off an anxious conversation of their own.

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    Prevna said, ¡°I¡¯m going after Kuma. Tike, join me. I¡¯ll need your knowledge of the valley and the route we took to get here.¡±

    Tike looked like he¡¯d rather do anything but head back towards the fire dancers, but he nodded anyway. ¡°Klus will come too. He can help carry her if we need to.¡±

    Prevna eyed Jika and Deamar. ¡°Listen to Gimley. She¡¯s gotten through more dire situations than most.¡±

    Neither of them seemed particularly pleased to be stuck with me and all I could say was that the sentiment was shared. Prevna and I shared one last look and before I could stop myself I stepped forward and changed the look into a glare.

    ¡°From one horror to another: don¡¯t die.¡±

    She grinned and then a handful of moments later the fog swallowed half of our group as they retraced our steps.

    I turned my glare on Deamar. ¡°Is there a path down?¡±

    He blinked owlishly back at me. ¡°I¡­think so.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you live here?¡± I gestured to take in the entire valley. Surely, he had to have a basic idea of the area around where he lived even if he hadn¡¯t exactly proved it these past few days with Tike taking the lead. Even I had known what to expect around Gabbler¡¯s Shore despite mostly being stuck in a tent.

    He crossed his arms, defensive. ¡°It¡¯s been years since I¡¯ve been here and I¡¯m not sure exactly what side Tike took us to.¡±

    ¡°We can walk the edge.¡± Jika broke into the conversation to stop a brewing argument as she glanced anxiously between us. ¡°We should see a path that way and we should get moving.¡±

    She wasn¡¯t wrong. Every moment was another chance for the fire dancers to change their course right for us.

    ¡°Do you at least remember if the path would have been close to the waterfall or away from it?¡±

    Deamar frowned as he thought before he finally said, ¡°Away from it. Near the edge where we would pull up the floater I think.¡±

    I pointed. ¡°This way then.¡±

    I led them toward the lake and away from the rush of the waterfall. Even with the fog, my sense of direction wasn¡¯t so bad that I couldn¡¯t remember where the giant lake of molten rock should be. Tike hadn¡¯t exactly led us in circles on the way here.

    Everything in me wanted to turn around, march up to Prevna, and insist that I was joining her or going alone even as I wished I could curl up and fall asleep without feeling like everything was falling apart.

    I glanced back at the unwelcome pair I had been stuck with more than I liked. If either one of them disappeared into the fog¡­well, I would make sure they regretted it.

    Jika gasped. ¡°Is that it?¡±

    I followed the invisible path from her pointing finger to a spot in the cliff that jutted out further than the rest and then angled gradually downward. I glared at the thin, worn footpath. By rights it should have been well within my perception even with the thick fog obscuring everything but my gritty eyes had slid right past it.

    I waved Deamar forward. ¡°You first. You should have at least some familiarity with the path but if you do slip I don¡¯t want you tumbling down onto us.¡±

    He huffed at the insult but he was more than happy to take the lead. Deamar strode forward but his proud stride quickly transformed into a shuffling step as he did his best to keep his balance on the wet, pitted stone path. Jika took the middle again and I brought of the rear which had the benefit of being able to check that they hadn¡¯t disappeared without the giveaway of looking over my shoulder.

    Plants¡ªgreen, purple, and orange¡ªgrew from the little clefts and ledges on the cliff wall to our left while to our right was a drop off of more fog. It was only about halfway down that I start to see little glowing pockets of golden orange lighting up the fog from below. The cliff really wasn¡¯t that tall, but the fog had done a little too well at covering up how dangerous falling over its edge really was. There was only a strip of land between the cliff and where the lake of molten lake actually started. I had been leading us toward the main body of the lake but the more I saw of Steamer¡¯s Fall the more I realized it was a cove full of lava. It wasn¡¯t just where the waterfall reached.

    We all had little slips and starts as we made our way down the treacherous little path but we had one nice bit of luck in that no nearly pitched over the side. Once we reached the strip of land hugging the cliff¡¯s edge we only really had one direction we could take: back the way we had come toward the center of the cover. This time we would just be on the bottom of the cliff instead of the top.

    Despite Deamar¡¯s memories of the floating boxes being tied into place near the path there wasn¡¯t a single one in sight. I could see where triangles of stone had been wedged into cracks in the ground, likely so they could tie ropes around them, but that only added to the idea that there wasn¡¯t a convenient person here to rescue us. Deamar still pretended to be confident as we followed him along the cliff¡¯s edge.

    One interesting thing about the lava in this part of the lake was that most of it didn¡¯t have the vibrant glow that the rest did. The lava here was dark gray and black with some bubbles of bright orange breaking through. Perhaps the waterfall deserved more credit than I initially thought.

    The roar of the waterfall grew and grew as did the strength of the fog. In the end, we were forced to hold onto each other¡¯s tunics so we wouldn¡¯t accidentally bump into each other or stumble over someone¡¯s foot into the lava. The pockets of bright lava close to the shore were still strong enough to create a glow through the fog and I was sure the effect would have been even stronger at night. So with one hand clutching Jika¡¯s tunic and the other trailing through the plants on the cliff wall I made my way forward. I hoped none of the plants had contact poisons since I had the feeling if I took my hand of the wall I¡¯d stray too far in the other direction.

    Then I heard Deamar curse and we all jerked as he stumbled over something. Jika nearly fell on her face and I caught her only to slam my shoulder into the cliff for my trouble. I frowned when I heard him laugh, some mixture of surprised relief, since I never would have expected him to in my vicinity. Jika and I pressed closer to him and when I peered around her I saw what all the excitement was about.

    A barrel, about thigh height on me, was sitting on the ground. All wood and wrong, but a clear sign that one of the villagers had been here, especially if the fog wasn¡¯t deceiving me and there were a couple more on the other side of it.

    ¡°There has to be someone here!¡± Deamar said. ¡°They¡¯d never leave these here and waste a trip.¡±

    I was about to reply when a new voice cut through all the noise from further up the path. ¡°Who¡¯s there?¡±

    Rescue.

    My lips pressed together as I glanced back in the direction I thought Prevna had gone.

    I wasn¡¯t entirely sure I wanted it.

 Book 4 - Ch. 33: And Then There Were Two

    I glowered out at the fog shrouded lake of lava while Deamar put entirely too much energy into his explanation of what we doing in Steamer¡¯s Fall and why we direly needed to leave. The man who had come out of the fog, drenched and suspicious, had gone stock still as he listened. I didn¡¯t pay him much more attention than that, just like I ignored the way Jika awkwardly shifted toward Deamar and then me, as if she wanted to break into his one sided ramble or my rumination and couldn¡¯t quite bring up the courage to do either.

    Prevna said she wanted me to go back to the village. The village was supposedly safe from the fire dancers and would have the drink we needed to resist the fog¡¯s effects. All good reasons to step onto the villager¡¯s craft once he broke free of Deamar¡¯s word induced stupor and escape.

    I knew I wasn¡¯t as observant or thinking as clearly as I normally would be from the severe lack of sleep, just like Prevna said, even if I didn¡¯t want to admit it out loud. I knew Prevna would be livid if I abandoned the others and went after her, if I even managed to find her between the fog and unfamiliar terrain. I had managed to let her go, gave her the trust she asked for, and it¡¯d be idiotic to ruin that at the last moment because floating off to safety seemed to easy.

    But it was true that the thought of escaping, of waiting at the village, felt wrong. Like I would be tearing something vitally important at the heart of me if I stepped onto the floating box and allowed myself to escape. Dramatic, but not untrue.

    If I went to the village I¡¯d be trapped with no way to help, no way to get anywhere important in time if things went wrong. Perhaps the same was true here at Steamer¡¯s Fall, but it didn¡¯t feel the same.

    ¡°Deamar, shut up. If he doesn¡¯t get what happened by now you talking more won¡¯t help.¡± Deamar whirled to face me, ready to dive head first into an argument, but whatever he could see of my expression shut him up like I wanted. ¡°You and Jika will go back to the village with him. I¡¯ll stay here in case Prevna and Tike show back up. You can come back to pick us up once the fire dancers are done, bring us the fog resistance drink.¡±

    He crossed his arms. I¡¯m sure it was supposed to be intimidating but I was still put in mind of a toddler putting up a pointless, mutinous protest. ¡°Why should I do that?¡±

    ¡°You want to prove yourself? I¡¯d suggest doing at least that much.¡±

    Deamar muttered something under his breath before he said, louder, ¡°Fine.¡±

    He motioned to the villager and they both grabbed a barrel to load up the floating box hidden in the fog. Then further protest came from an unexpected quarter.

    Jika drew herself up so she could stare down at me. ¡°I¡¯m not going either.¡±

    She had been eager enough to keep out of danger before. It didn¡¯t make sense that she¡¯d deny escape now, especially when I doubted she had the same qualms I did about leaving¡ªunless she was more guilty about leaving Kuma to Prevna and Tike than I thought.

    Still, it¡¯d be simpler if she left. I rolled my eyes at her. ¡°Yes, you are.¡±

    She looked like she wanted be doing anything but be in a confrontation with me but she held her ground. ¡°No, I¡¯m not. I¡¯m not going to be the only woman in that place and if you¡¯re staying then I can too. I¡¯ll help.¡±

    I had the sudden urge to shove Jika all the way to the floating box, tie the door shut with all three of them inside, and somehow compel whatever crocodiles pulled it to take them all away. Even when we had fought together I don¡¯t think I had ever considered Jika in terms of being helpful. She was an annoyance and a burden and entirely unwelcome.

    I made a shooing motion at her. ¡°Go. Hide in a tent if the village is so scary.¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Her voice cracked a little bit, but I was slightly impressed she hadn¡¯t given in yet.

    Deamar appeared back out of the fog. ¡°The floater is ready. Let¡¯s go.¡±

    Jika huffed out a breath and shifted to face him. ¡°I¡¯m not going. We only need one person to go and get reinforcements.¡±

    Deamar looked at us both like we were stupid before he shrugged and turned to go. My sluggish brain had a sudden burst of inspiration before he completely disappeared. ¡°Wait! Tell me what you use the plants here for before you go.¡±

    He glared at me before seeming to decide that he could spare a moment to prove he was better than me by showing he knew something I didn¡¯t. ¡°Violet lace, Dancer¡¯s Path, and fuzz leaf. Papa calls them the Watcher¡¯s Bouquet. They¡¯re what we use to help make the Nullifier more potent so we don¡¯t have to drink it to resist the fog every day. Among other things.¡±

    I neglected to point out that he likely just spilled one of his village¡¯s bigger secrets and sent him on his way. He was more than happy to leave us behind. Likely he thought I wouldn¡¯t be able to do much with the information, and perhaps that was true, but it also meant I might be able to make a makeshift fog resistance drink without grounder grass and some of Jika¡¯s fire.

    We heard more than saw Deamar and the villager leave us behind. The cooled lava crackled and crunched as the crocodiles dragged the box away behind them. I did see Jika¡¯s regret about her decision immediately intensify when she realized she was now all alone with me. A small part of me was viciously glad to see it.

    And just as glad to have her turn to me and ask, ¡°What now?¡±

    She might have been older and a Picker, but I was the one who had taken control of the situation and I wasn¡¯t about to relinquish that now.

    I gestured to the colorful plants covering the wall behind us. ¡°We pick some herbs, make a fire, and I see about making a last resort in case we¡¯re still stuck here when our resistance wears out.¡±

    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    My old healer¡¯s instincts rebelled against the idea of using plants when I didn¡¯t have to proper knowledge of what were the best parts use, when was the best time to pick them, or what was the best way to handle them, but my beads were gone and I needed to keep my hands busy.

    I went with Jika to quickly scavenge some grass and twigs from the top of the cliff. We didn¡¯t dare to go farther than that looking for larger branches in case we lost our way back to Steamer¡¯s Fall or accidentally walked into the fire dancers path. Then we carefully made our way back down the thin, pitted path to the bottom of the cliff and I picked the plants. Jika had tried to help but I slapped her hands away as soon as I noticed her grabbing fistfuls without a single thought apparently in her head. Making the mixture with ingredients that were destroyed before I even started was just asking for it to go wrong. After I finished collecting what I needed we set up on a patch of the thin walkway that was wider than the rest.

    I tested each plant against my skin to check for any reactions rather than just rely on the way I had ran my hand through them earlier. Once that was done I placed a single piece of each part of each plant in my mouth at a time before spitting it back out in a simple test of their properties. Jika watched with some mixture of discomfort and worry but she didn¡¯t say what she was thinking despite the way her eyes strayed to the spot healer¡¯s beads would have hung in my hair if I still had them.

    The names of the plants made it easy to figure out which was which but in the end their properties seemed to be similar. They were all stimulants from the way my focus and energy increased after I held them in my mouth. The violet lace seemed to have the most immediate effect while the root of the orange Dancer¡¯s Path plant had the strongest effect when I chewed it. Fuzz leaf was a little different in that it had a sweet flavor and a filmy, powdery texture. I almost wrote it off as not having any stimulating effect on its own despite holding it in my mouth longer than the others until I realized my urge to close my eyes and sleep had lessened.

    I crushed the seeds that I had been carrying since I found them in the hidden supply outpost with the side of my eating knife. Then I used the knife¡¯s hilt to grind them down further before slicing the plants I had gathered into the smallest pieces I could make them. The fire we could make wouldn¡¯t last long and smaller pieces would need less time to cook. I based the ratio I used for the seeds and plants on other mixtures I had made for a single person but since I couldn¡¯t know how much of each ingredient the villagers used or how grounder grass might have changed things I prepped even amounts of each.

    Jika set up the fire and I placed my ground up mixture in the hole we had left in the middle. There was a strong chance it burn instead of roast but I didn¡¯t have a good way to separate it from the fire and still have the pitiful fire have any effect. Jika snapped her fingers and I noted she was a Candle as she held the small flame above her finger to the pile of grass and twigs.

    We watched fire flare up, fall into a smolder until Jika prodded it. My mixture did burn but I figured that was as close to roasting it as we were going to get. Once the small fire burned itself out I scrapped up the burned remains of my mixture and put it into a small spare finger sized pouch. I didn¡¯t have a fully waterproof pouch except for my waterskin and that meant I had to wait to mix it with water until I was ready to test it if I wanted safe water to drink.

    Jika wasn¡¯t at all convinced that the mixture was safe to ingest but since I wasn¡¯t planning on giving it her unless I had tested it on myself first that didn¡¯t matter. We went back up the path to listen for the others but after hearing absolutely nothing promising for what felt like an eternity we made our way back down again and all the way to the waterfall.

    It burst from the cliff above us and missed the path to land directly on the lava, but the boiling hot water from where the waterfall splashed against the lava splattered back towards the path when it didn¡¯t just burst into steam. Standing near it felt like you were being cooked alive. We had the bright idea to explore the other side of the cove but instead we had to quickly give that up so we didn¡¯t scald ourselves just for curiosity. However, I did have to give the villagers some credit when I saw the small channels painstakingly carved into the rock so that cool water from the waterfall would run down the cliff¡¯s side into little nooks that the barrels we had seen before could be tucked. They caused some water to splash down onto the path and run off from the channels when the barrels weren¡¯t there to catch it and the slippery footing wasn¡¯t encouraging either.

    We retreated back to where we had done our experiment. I stared out into the fog again as I tried to think of something else I could do to keep my hands busy, to pretend I wasn¡¯t waiting like I would have been back at the village, to make my decision worth it when Prevna might be disappointed I couldn¡¯t bring myself to go to the village like she asked.

    That was when we heard the singing. The high and whisper-sweet voices of the fire dancers. Jika and I pressed ourselves back against the cliff wall, eyes wide. No embers floated past our faces but the wind likely wasn¡¯t blowing in the right direction to carry them down here to us. Tike had said they didn¡¯t have anything to do with the lake after they started their dance but that didn¡¯t mean they couldn¡¯t skirt close to it, couldn¡¯t be as unpredictable as he made them out to be.

    Worst came to worst, we¡¯d have to flee back to the waterfall and hope the water protected us from their touch even as the water itself burned us if they trapped us here. Second to worst, we¡¯d have to leave Steamer¡¯s Fall and hope that their route didn¡¯t line up with wherever we decided to hole up in order to avoid any injuries. The question was: were the fire dancers just passing by above or would we draw attention to ourselves we wouldn¡¯t otherwise have gotten if we tried to sneak away?

    The singing got louder. Closer.

    I wondered if our little fire had drawn them to us as I started to hear the pop and crackle of plants burning. I glanced down at what remained of the fire but it wasn¡¯t even smoking.

    Jika was trying to tell me something her eyes but I wasn¡¯t getting much beyond panic. I motioned for her to stay put. Better to stay here for now¡ª

    Singing came from directly above us. And embers cut through the thick fog¡ªbut not all in one direction like they had been before. They were spread in an arc like something had flung them like a child with flower petals. All of the embers landed in the lava but it wasn¡¯t long before more lit up the fog.

    Too close for us to chance moving, especially when our escape route might already be cut off. Jika and I both pressed ourselves even harder back against the cliff wall, hoping that the angle and fog might protect us from the creatures¡¯ notice.

    I certainly couldn¡¯t see them.

    But the singing was clear.

    It was odd because at first I could have sworn they weren¡¯t singing actual words, just notes full of emotion and trills, but the more we stood there listening the more meaning seemed to resolve from the song. It wasn¡¯t anything like the dialects I had heard but I understood it all the same.

    It was a call to follow and burn and burn and burn. Burn away the abundance, burn away grief, burn just for the simple joy of creating flame. A call to enjoy the moment and be free. A joyous challenge to all who might get in their way and try to ruin the dance.

    Jika and I ignored the call and the challenge. It could have been an eternity or a couple minute later that the embers stopped falling through the sky and the singing became more distant until it faded back into silence. Jika slumped down onto the path like all the strength had gone out her legs. I lowered myself to the ground a little more elegantly.

    Jika whispered, ¡°That was too close.¡± When I didn¡¯t answer she scowled at me. ¡°We should have left when we could.¡±

    I looked at her sidelong and didn¡¯t let my voice waver from exhaustion or fear. ¡°You were welcome to.¡±

    She didn¡¯t have answer for that so we fell into silence.

 Book 4 - Ch. 34: Renewed Clarity

    Neither Jika or I were keen on sleeping with molten rock two feet from our toes and the lingering threat that the fire dancers might draw close again. Jika eventually couldn¡¯t stand the quiet tension and we turned to trading stories to pass the time as what sunlight lit up the fog slowly faded. At least that way we had some kind of distraction from the fact that Prevna and Tike had failed to return with Kuma so far and Deamar hadn¡¯t returned with reinforcements to bring us back to the village.

    Once the light faded away we had no way to tell how much time had passed. Outside Steamer¡¯s Fall there had been enough ambient light from the moon and stars to have some sense of the night progressing but, here, the fog might as well have been a black void. Only sporadic bubbles of bright lava broke up the darkness and they did nothing to lessen the feeling that we had descended into some offshoot of the Ever Dark that had been given space in the mortal world. Outside of time and no way to escape the enveloping dark for the taunting stars that were always out of reach.

    And out of everyone in the world, I was stuck there with shivering, nervous Jika who seemed like she thought I¡¯d bite her head off as soon as I looked at her. Not that she was wrong, but her nerves added an extra edge to the hellscape surrounding us that I didn¡¯t have the energy to deal with. She had relaxed some during our story exchange but I could feel the way her nerves ratcheted up every time there was a noise overhead or I neglected to give some kind of positive response to her stories.

    So I briefly debated between the extremes of knocking her out and doing what Prevna would do.

    ¡°Tell me about your favorite memory or the best thing you ever got. Your favorite place.¡±

    What Prevna would do won, mostly because I didn¡¯t want to get accidentally dipped in molten rock if knocking Jika out turned into a scuffle. And even with an aching head that she was making worse, I could understand the long term consequences of knocking her out likely wouldn¡¯t be worth the respite. But I also refused to touch Jika to bump shoulders or sling my arm over her shoulders, so I settled on her tendency to focus on the positive.

    I could still feel Jika staring at me as if I just asked her to give me a dozen rare herbs so I could toss them into the lava just for the sake of watching her break. Not that she cared one whit about herbs, but she definitely thought I was trying to gather information to hurt her with later.

    I would have asked for her favorite myth but she had run short of stories long before I did and she had taken to telling tales about her Picker band¡¯s daily antics and hunting stories. I wasn¡¯t that keen on hearing another tale about people I didn¡¯t know or really care about.

    ¡°Tell me yours first,¡± she demanded.

    I sighed, but somehow between the exhaustion and the darkness and isolation I found myself picking through memories rather than keeping quiet. Nothing to do with healing since that would raise too many questions and there wasn¡¯t a place that came immediately to mind that stood out as a favorite. I had seen some pretty amazing places, but I couldn¡¯t say I was drawn to go there again. But something I had received¡­

    My fingers brushed over my poisoner¡¯s pouch. It held all my most treasured items whether I wanted to admit it or not. I might not use the poisoner¡¯s recipes Rawley had taught me, but there was no denying that she had given me back a piece of myself when she had gifted me the pouch and then went a step further to help me earn the poisoner¡¯s mark on my wrist.

    ¡°The best thing I ever received was my poisoner¡¯s pouch. My mentor helped me see there was a path forward when I thought that was impossible before she gave it to me.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± Jika obviously hadn¡¯t expected a real answer. ¡°She was a good mentor then?¡±

    ¡°The best.¡±

    Jika fell silent for a bit while she thought through her answer. ¡°I think¡­my favorite thing is a place. There¡¯s this tall tree in our territory with sturdy branches and when I climb it I can see past the forest to the Cut down below and the Seedling Palace on the horizon.¡± I heard her shift before she continued again. ¡°It reminds me that there¡¯s more than this place. Picker bands don¡¯t move around as much around the Cut. Territory is too highly prized for when everyone needs to travel through from the goddess procession every year. So this is probably the most I¡¯ve traveled around since Nerco secured our borders and¡­and I always wondered what else is out there.¡±

    I asked, ¡°Did you ever go see the procession yourself?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Her disappointment was evident in her voice. ¡°There¡¯s not enough members in the band for us to splinter off for weeks on end and still get everything done. Some other band would probably start poaching our territory and if we don¡¯t have enough, we¡¯ll starve.¡± There was a long moment of silence as her last statement sunk in before she tried for a lighter tone. ¡°I¡¯ve seen the sky go dark multiple times though. It often reaches here and that¡¯s our signal to expect travelers in the coming weeks.¡±

    I watched a bubble of lava burst a handful of feet from us. Wiped sweat from my forehead while I tried to think of something to say. ¡°I went to the Calling Road when I was nine years old and that¡¯s when I vowed that I would drink the shadows. That I¡¯d do whatever I could to become one of the goddess¡¯s chosen.¡±

    ¡°Because She was so awe-inspiring?¡±

    ¡°Terrifying. But that wasn¡¯t what pushed me to make the vow.¡±

    I closed my eyes and stepped into my memory tent before I walked over to a stone placed on a pedestal next to the pot that held my recent important memories. The stone had a carving of a forest with a dark opening inside it and a path leading from it. People gathered around the path but they were little more than stick figures. The whole drawing looked like a child with little time or patience had drawn it in the dirt. This was my memory of that pivotal moment before my lessons became to sole focus of my life. Touching the stone I could remember the gut wrenching terror of the goddess walking by and Her Chosen striding behind. Lithunia gripping my hand and watching her and the others continue on with pride and purpose. The sense that they had control over their lives without shame or fear and the vow I made to obtain that.

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    And yet¡­ever since I had stepped foot into the Seedling Palace, ever since I had lost my healer¡¯s beads, I had been striving for something else. To return to the comfort of what I had.

    What binds you?

    I had become a seedling with the sense that it was because I had nothing else, that I had been trapped since birth by the mark on my thigh. I conveniently ignored the vow I made and the sentiment behind it because I didn¡¯t want to serve the goddess¡ªnot when She already controlled everything else and my mark seemed to bring me more pain than help.

    But I hadn¡¯t made the vow for Her. Not really. I had made it upon seeing how the chosen had no higher authority than Her and the authority they were able to hold themselves. I had wished for the black lips that everyone identified whisper women by so they would know I wasn¡¯t someone beneath them. They would know just by looking at me that I wasn¡¯t weak or cursed for having too much life.

    I could strive for that again. That power, that authority. Gaining black lips hadn¡¯t done much for my standing among the whisper women even if the normal tribes would likely hold me in same regard as a full whisper woman now. If my actions helped the goddess¡ªwell, everything in Her territory was there to serve Her or pay the price. I could put more effort into gaining the sects¡¯ good will so that they¡¯d be willing to take me on as a Sapling. More effort into learning about the Lady of Calm Waters and Esie, and leveraging their patronage instead of passively waiting for everything to be taken from me again.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    I blinked and came out of the memory. From the sound of it Jika had asked me something several times. With a bit more bite than I meant to, I snapped, ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Oh, sorry, nothing. I just wanted to know what pushed you to make the vow if it wasn¡¯t the goddess, but if you don¡¯t want to talk about it¡ª¡±

    ¡°I saw the chosen and wanted what they had.¡± A small bit of gratification flared in my chest at the shocked silence that followed.

    She floundered for an appropriate response, ¡°I¡ªwell¡ªthat makes sense.¡± Jika shifted again before she continued, ¡°Like me and my tree, right? Wanting to experience what else is out there?¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to be similar to Jika in any way but I could begrudgingly see how she had made the connection. ¡°You have two feet, you can use them. If your band can survive the purge without you, surely they aren¡¯t so incompetent that they¡¯d fall apart if you went to see the procession. Even Deamar and the other boys from the village will be going to the Seedling Palace at the turn of the season now.¡±

    Jika¡¯s voice became a mere whisper. ¡°They might not have. They were right next to the Fangs¡¯ new territory and all that fighting.¡±

    I snorted. ¡°Maybe and, if they did fall, do you think your presence would have saved the whole band?¡±

    ¡°I can fight!¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Maybe more of the band would survive if I was there helping.¡±

    ¡°If you were that worried you wouldn¡¯t have followed us down into the inner valleys. You and Kuma and¡­the other one would have gone harrying off to wherever Nerco likely holed up no matter how dangerous the mountainside is. So they can survive without you and even if they happened to get blindsided and you were with them, the only change would be that you¡¯d all be dead. So either way you might as well go on a trip instead of pining after it since that way you¡¯ll be able to carry on their memory if something did happen.¡±

    My logic was full of holes and blatantly ignoring the finer details of the whole situation, but I had momentum and it ground down Jika¡¯s protests any time she tried to break into my little speech.

    By the end of it all she had was a weak, ¡°Maybe.¡±

    The darkness persisted and I ended up telling a few more tales to keep the reminder of the Ever Dark at bay. Even dark sight did little to alleviate the way it pressed in around us since the fog here had been nearly impossible to see through during the day.

    ¡°How do you know so many stories?¡± Jika asked. She sounded somewhere between impressed and cowed by the sheer number of myths I was able to recall.

    ¡°All part of my training,¡± I said and left it at that. She could think that whisper women put more significance into knowing such things than I had currently seen, outside of the odd pair in the nested library.

    By the time morning light finally settled on the fog and made it glow, we were still alone with no sign of the others and by my best guess we had less than a handful of hours before our resistance to the fog wore off. I strongly doubted that the fire dancers would still terrorizing the valley so many hours later since it didn¡¯t smell like the entire thing had burned to a crisp, but that also meant that Deamar might have chosen a comfy night at home over returning for us or that something had happened and the reinforcements he was supposed to get weren¡¯t coming at all. Prevna shouldn¡¯t have gotten lost with Tike so there was also the possibility that they hadn¡¯t been able to return to Steamer¡¯s Fall with how close the dancers had gotten. If they couldn¡¯t come here they were likely holed up in some random spot or returning to the village on their own, hopefully after finding Kuma. If they did still come here they would be in the same predicament we were if Deamar didn¡¯t show up.

    I needed the fog to put me to sleep but I still didn¡¯t think this was the best place to fall under its influence, just as I didn¡¯t want to be caught out in the open where any predator could happen upon us. We didn¡¯t know how to navigate the valley but if we followed the lake¡¯s edge, as long as we went in the correct direction, we should eventually end up at the outpost the village had by the lake. The problem, of course, was that the fire dancers could still be wrecking havoc and the fog would likely get to us before we made it to village, if something else didn¡¯t go wrong first.

    Ultimately, we had the same choice we¡¯d had since the others left: stay put and wait for them to return or move, taking the chance we¡¯d miss them and find other danger.

    I touched the pouch that held the experimental mixture I had made. Another risk with possible reward.

    I laid out our options for Jika. ¡°Either we can wait and hope someone shows up to get us or we can use what time we have left and try to make it around the lake and to the village before we succumb to the fog. Really, we probably should have left yesterday, even after we decided to wait, but there¡¯s nothing we can do about that now.¡±

    ¡°What about the fire dancers?¡±

    ¡°If they¡¯re still around we can hide like we did before.¡±

    Neither of us bothered to point out that was a lot less likely when we were on the same level as the fire dancers and surrounded by significantly more burnable material.

    ¡°And what if Deamar gets here right after we leave?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯ll no longer be our problem since we¡¯ll be gone. He can take the full blame for taking so long.¡±

    A long breath in, a long breath out and then, ¡°Fine. Let¡¯s go.¡±

    Prevna had wanted me to get to safety. Well, now I would.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I agreed.

 Book 4 - Ch. 35: Along the Molten Shore

    Traveling along the molten lake¡¯s shore with only Jika felt like we had stepped from the depths of the Ever Dark into a waking dream. The lake glowed brightly on our left through fog like a thousand glow stones that had been melted down while refusing to go out. In contrast, the land to our right might have been the more familiar forests and open spaces, but the fog turned them into murky threats that could be hiding anything. We didn¡¯t have Tike¡¯s expertise or our normal indicators to know if a place could be trusted or not. We didn¡¯t even have spears. The one I had been sharing with Prevna had gone with her and Kuma had the other that had survived the trip to the village. After all, if everything had gone as Prevna wanted Jika and I would be tucked safe in the village right now. Perhaps, at the start of our exploration, we could have pressed the men for more spears but I didn¡¯t trust that they wouldn¡¯t hand me something from a chopped down tree.

    Exhaustion dragged on both of us and we had to keep a handful of feet from the edge of the lake to make sure we didn¡¯t accidentally fall head first into it when yawns or gritty eyes distracted us. However, we also couldn¡¯t go too far from the lake in case we got turned around and lost it. The fog might have been thinner and the lava brighter out here than in Steamer¡¯s Fall but the fog was still plenty good at obscuring everything around us. So we had to scramble down ledges and climb back up again when the shore abruptly changed height instead of searching out an easier pathway.

    We crossed large swathes of burned land that had nothing left but gray ash. Nothing but open space where there should have been trees and underbrush, soot that stuck to our shoes and anything else it could reach with a breeze. No doubt the remnants of the fire dancers¡¯ work. The odd thing was that occasionally there would be a puff of grass that stuck up in the middle of the ash like the dancers had forgot to touch it. Just as disturbing was the harsh line between what had burned and what hadn¡¯t, where the trees and grasses right next to the scorched path didn¡¯t even have burn marks.

    Part of me yearned to follow the path, see where they went and possibly learn why they annually set everything in their way on fire, but we didn¡¯t have the time.

    The light still wasn¡¯t strong but some part of my mind whispered that exhaustion pulling  more and more strongly on my eyelids wasn¡¯t just the natural strain of staying up way too long or a strenuous hike. The fog was starting to have an effect.

    I couldn¡¯t sleep, not yet, but at the same time I needed to with such a slow growing desperation that it felt like it had been my idea all along. I found myself starting to look for the comfiest spots to lay down: a nook between two roots, under a large fern, a patch of thick grass. When I caught myself after I stumbled over a rock I could have easily stepped around because my eyes had been closed for a handful of blissful moments I knew we weren¡¯t going to make it. The lake was too vast and the fog¡¯s invitation too strong for two people who had neglected to sleep, especially with the way Jika was weaving back and forth in front of me. I couldn¡¯t even tell how far we had come or how far we had to go. Perhaps the village¡¯s outpost would be over the next hill, but more than likely we¡¯d be passed out before we ever made it there.

    My fingers found the pouch of the experimental mixture I had made.

    We did have one final bid to try to make it to our destination. Though I had been limited to only make enough for one person because of the number of seeds I started with. I poured the mixture into my half full waterskin and then shook the contents together. Jika turned at the noise, swaying slightly as she rubbed her eyes.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°Making our last resort.¡± I hesitated just before I touched the waterskin to my lips. ¡°If I look like I¡¯m dying, don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    Then I drank a large sip of the mixture, just enough to test it without drinking so much that it¡¯d ruin the mixture¡¯s potency. It tasted sweet and ashy and bitter, and I struggled briefly not to gag.

    Jika stared at me in horror as I waited to see what would happen. At first there didn¡¯t seem to be a change just like when we had drank the resistance mixture Malady had made and then the villagers¡¯ more potent version. But we had been awake and alert then so I didn¡¯t take that as a good sign.

    Just when I was really starting to worry that I had made nothing more than a bad tasting drink, I felt a buzzing sort of spark in my belly that grew into a restless energy accompanied by the feeling that I suddenly more aware than I had been before. It didn¡¯t get rid of the exhaustion, not completely, but I could focus on the buzzing awareness more than the lure of easy sleep.

    I thrust my waterskin at Jika. ¡°Drink this. All of it.¡±

    She held up her hands defensively. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    I pressed it even closer to her. ¡°Drink it. It¡¯ll wake you up.¡±

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    I could tell she wanted to protest more but she was too tired to get the words off her tongue. Not everyone had the same resiliency. Then again, this was hardly the first time I had been awake for a long time. There were the times we had to change our sleep schedule when the tribe went into Flickermark and all nighters tending to patients. That time I had been frozen¡­

    I shuddered and shoved the waterskin at Jika one last time. She reluctantly took it and drank. After one gulp she grimaced and held it away from her.

    I stared her down. ¡°All of it. Or you¡¯re asking for the fog to get you.¡±

    ¡°What about you?¡± she asked, as she tried to hand the waterskin back to me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡± I crossed my arms so I couldn¡¯t take the waterskin back.

    Jika grimaced again but she choked down the rest of the mixture. I did take the empty waterskin back then. She bent over, hands on her knees, as she breathed deeply and tried not to throw everything she just drank back up. Then I saw a shudder travel up her body and she bolt upright, eyes wide.

    I stepped closer, worried at how strong her reaction was compared to mine. ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°I could run forever,¡± she said, eyes focused somewhere over my shoulder.

    I caught her wrist just before she bolted. We both went down as our limbs tangled together and I had to fight my instinctive desire to scramble away. If she went running off in the wrong direction we¡¯d both be doomed.

    Instead, I pinned her legs beneath me and asked, ¡°Are you alright? Did the mixture make  you feel bad anywhere?¡±

    Her gaze caught mine and I could tell that her eyes were much more dilated than they should be. ¡°I¡¯m more awake than I¡¯ve ever been. I don¡¯t even notice the tiredness anymore. I could just run and run and run.¡±

    A stray thought slipped into my mind as I looked down at the way she was nearly shaking with the need to move and I felt the same spark of buzzing energy in my belly: maybe this was what the grounder grass was for. Something to settle or focus the energy and alertness the other plants provided.

    My own exhaustion still tugged at me, however. One sip wasn¡¯t enough to override that like Jika¡¯s portion had.

    ¡°Great.¡± I pointed in the direction we had been headed. ¡°Then you are going to run along the shore until you reach the village. Then you can let them know where to find me.¡±

    Jika shifted like she was going to spring up right then before she frowned. ¡°But what about you? You can¡¯t stay out here.¡±

    I moved off her legs. ¡°I can¡¯t keep up with you now. I¡¯m still tired. So that¡¯s why you are going to run to the village and let them know to find me along the fire lake¡¯s shore. I¡¯ll survive.¡±

    Her frowned deepened. ¡°We shouldn¡¯t split up.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I agreed, ¡°but we have to. If you go we both will make it. If you insist on staying with me then neither of us will. You¡¯ll get tired again before we make it there since I¡¯ll fall asleep and you¡¯ll have to drag me or leave me then. So you should go now so we don¡¯t waste time we don¡¯t have.¡±

    I could tell she was struggling to keep herself from moving, running like the mixture demanded she do to burn off the sudden energy coursing through her. One hand gripped the grass like she was using it to anchor herself there. ¡°Splitting up has ruined everything so far. I¡¯m not doing it again.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡± I hated giving in, but we were wasting time and one way or another she¡¯d have to abandon me eventually. This way at least she¡¯d have a bit more time to save herself when I inevitably was overrun by the fog¡¯s effect.

    We got up and Jika led the way again, pulling further and further ahead until she looked back to check on me. I forced myself to push my shorter legs to go as quick they could so I wouldn¡¯t slow her down.

    It didn¡¯t take me long to realize I had made a horrible mistake. The fog was still there, feeding into my exhaustion, begging me to give in and rest even as the spark of restlessness I had gotten from the mixture tugged at me to move and think and pay attention to everything around me. And with both tugging at me I couldn¡¯t focus fully on either so I was stuck one moment cracking my face open with a yawn and the next trying calculate how many leaves were on a bush even as I had to remind myself to keep following after Jika. And then moving was easy, the restless spark liked that, but brought more potential nap spots into focus and the urge to sleep in one of them rose. Back and forth between two extremes, over and over while Jika had the gall to practically skip in front of me.

    Somewhere along the way I started to notice faces in the fog around us. Faces that disappeared as soon as I turned to look at them. Was this some new kind of monster in the fog? Some kind of ambush attack?

    ¡°Jika,¡± I hissed, and she turned back to look at me. ¡°There¡¯s something there.¡±

    She quickly took a few steps closer to me. ¡°What is it? I don¡¯t see anything.¡±

    ¡°Faces. In the fog. You don¡¯t see them?¡±

    She scanned our surroundings and shook her head. ¡°There¡¯s nothing there.¡±

    Except there was a face, and I recognized that those eyes now. That expression. Her favorite look of disappointment.

    Another appeared out of my eye with her first look of disappointment. And then another. The faces were everywhere and I could feel the memories pressing on me, pulling at me. Suddenly, nearly forcing themselves free from where I kept them locked away after the strain my mind had been put under the past week.

    I knew what would happen if I stayed awake and I¡­just couldn¡¯t. Not after keeping most of them at bay for so long. I couldn¡¯t face them all at once, pulled into a dozen different torments.

    That little spark wanted to keep me awake, but it was fading and it was just a spark. I could overwhelm it. I couldn¡¯t stay awake for this. I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d even be able to pull myself back out of the memories with the state I was in.

    I forced myself to focus on Jika. ¡°Never mind. Seeing things. I¡¯ll be fine. Keep going. Find the village.¡±

    Then I turned the last bit of my focus on that desperate desire to sleep that had been weighing on me, making my limbs heavy, dragging my eyelids closed, promising sweet oblivion. As soon as I stopped trying to resist it the feeling welled up like a wave cresting before it crashed back down.

    Then there was only darkness.

    No faces.

    Nothing.

 Book 4 - Ch. 36: The Price of Caring

    When I woke, it felt like I had swallowed a mouthful of sand after rubbing my face in it. Everything was gritty and dry and uncomfortable. But that didn¡¯t stop me from noticing that I was lying in a tent, that Prevna was kneeling by my side.

    A rush of relief swept through me as soon as I registered that she was safe and didn¡¯t look hurt. Relief that was crushed a moment later when I saw that her eyes were wet and the conflicted storm of emotions flickering over her face.

    She tried for a smile but it faded away before she could finish her sentence, ¡°From one horror to another, I¡­¡± Prevna drew in a deep breath, looked up at the ceiling and then back down at me. ¡°I¡­storms! You¡ª¡± She cut herself off before continuing, ¡°This is coming out all wrong. Just¡ªI¡ªgive me some time.¡±

    I tried to say something, anything, but my voice caught on the dryness in my throat and all I could do was cough as she hurried out of the tent. I groped for my waterskin hoping for some spare drop to let me shout after her but it was just as empty as I remembered. So I coughed and couldn¡¯t do anything while I was left behind again.

    Useless.

    A disappointment once again for being myself. Ruining any relationships I managed to make. Prevna hadn¡¯t done any of her normal touches she typically did without thinking out of familiarity and comfort. Her knees hadn¡¯t touch my side, she didn¡¯t absently brush her fingers over my arm that was right next to her, couldn¡¯t keep looking at me. Couldn¡¯t even smile.

    And I knew why.

    I had gone against her wishes, broken her trust, and put myself back into a position where, if I was anyone else, I should have been dead. A position she explicitly didn¡¯t want me to be in.

    Malady pushed her way into the tent and took Prevna¡¯s spot though she didn¡¯t fit as easily into the space. She thrust a waterskin into my hands and judged me while I drank.

    ¡°You know how to make a mess of things, don¡¯t you?¡±

    I glowered back at her but otherwise ignored the accusation. ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°Jika finally crashed an hour ago after being unable to sleep after whatever you gave her. She was seeing things and begging us to help her sleep but the village¡¯s healer said that in similar cases in the past they just had to wait it out¡ªthough he also couldn¡¯t be sure what you had done.¡±

    ¡°I did what I had to. Our reinforcements never arrived and we needed to stay awake, so I made the resistance mixture as best I could without grounder grass.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s one of three ingredients.¡±

    ¡°The men use more.¡± I crossed my arms. ¡°I did what I could. I assume we¡¯re back at the village? How?¡±

    ¡°Jika carried you. She kept repeating that you told her to leave you but she couldn¡¯t do that. Helena and I arrived back at the village only to learn that for some reason your group had returned piecemeal and you two were still missing. Her cats found you both not far from the village¡¯s lake outpost but Jika was too exhausted to carry you further.¡±

    Malady gave me a look that clearly said I should be grateful to Jika and not annoyed that if not for Nine Claw¡¯s spectral cats my predictions would have come true. Nor did I really know how to accept the idea that someone other than Prevna would have gone to such lengths to save me. Jika and I had never been exactly been on friendly terms since we met since I kept her at a distance and she always acted like I was about to bite her.

    So I pushed her actions to the back of my mind, coughed, and then asked my next question, ¡°Do you know why no one came from the village to get us? Deamar was supposed come back with more floating boxes, or at least a bigger one.¡±

    Malady gestured dismissively at the tent flap. ¡°Go outside and you¡¯ll see a path of scorched earth going past their camp. Apparently, some destructive monsters came closer to this place than they have in years and now we are being blamed for the occurrence.¡± She sniffed. ¡°You¡¯d think everything had been burned down with the way they are carrying on and yet none of their blasphemous wooden structures has so much as a scorch mark.¡±

    She spared a moment to glower before focusing back on me. ¡°Helena bid me to tend to you before I made the situation worse. Deamar has been throughly chastised for abandoning you and will be punished further for failing to notify the village¡¯s leaders that you hadn¡¯t returned with him until this morning.¡±

    ¡°And Prevna? The others?¡± I had to struggle not to whisper her name. As if saying it loudly would summon back that moment of her abandoning me all over again.

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    Still, I swore Malady smiled slightly when I mentioned Prevna¡¯s name, which caused pride to flare in my chest on her behalf. Pride I had no right to feel.

    ¡°Ah, yes.¡± Malady said, ¡°Prevna reported that Tike and her found Kuma bound up in a constrictor vine. She was unconscious from the pollen it puffs out but Tike knew how to protect against it and they were able to cut her free. By that time however the¡­fire dancers were between them and where you were hidden so they risked returning to the village in the dark.¡±

    Malady caught my gaze with hers. ¡°Which begs the question: what possessed you to stay behind when you had a path to safety, exacerbating a dangerous situation?¡± She frowned. ¡°Or, perhaps, you weren¡¯t thinking after refusing to sleep for days on end?¡±

    I opened my mouth, closed it, before I muscled past the infuriating shame and embarrassment that wanted to steal my voice. ¡°It made sense to stay. If Prevna and Tike had returned to Steamer¡¯s Fall they wouldn¡¯t have known to wait for reinforcements if someone wasn¡¯t there to tell them. They might have thought we were forced to try for village because we couldn¡¯t stay there.¡±

    ¡°Which is ultimately what happened.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know Deamar would fail at the simple task of telling his fathers to come get us at that point.¡±

    ¡°You could have gone with to make sure the message got across.¡±

    ¡°I tried to make Jika go but she refused.¡±

    ¡°Lucky you she did.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have died.¡±

    There was a long, long pause before Malady sighed and said, ¡°I see.¡±

    I highly doubted she understood anything and I didn¡¯t want her to understand if she did, so I snapped, ¡°What?¡±

    Malady ignored my question so she could press me with her own. ¡°Prevna said that at the start of your search you entered a cave and that¡¯s when your sleep issues started. She described having a¡­bad dream, but she said we would need to talk to you to learn more. That it was your story to tell. After which she insisted we let you sleep for awhile before giving you the resistance drink.¡±

    Every word felt like a piece of Fellen¡¯s hair cord fluttering to the ground while I cut it to ribbons. Only this time I was the one being cut down by Prevna¡¯s consideration and a flicker of hope that everything wasn¡¯t completely ruined after all. Of course, Fellen had still enlisted Prevna¡¯s help after I shattered her trust, so perhaps Prevna¡¯s actions were just another reflection of that last act.

    I swallowed down the fear that was urging me to go running out of the tent, find her, promise her that I hadn¡¯t meant to break her trust, tell that I couldn¡¯t bear the thought of being safe while she was still in danger.

    Prevna had asked for time.

    I had to give her that since I hadn¡¯t given her anything else.

    So I swallowed the fear and let it burn into indignation. ¡°Why should I tell you?¡±

    ¡°Because a word from Helena to Mishtaw about this fiasco will no doubt cause your mentor to think twice about giving you any missions again. Mostly like stop your role in this one right in its tracks.¡±

    My teeth clenched against revealing the secret but I had to acknowledge getting taken off Mishtaw¡¯s mission would make me fail my other one as well. ¡°The Lady of Calm Waters called in a favor.¡±

    No theatrics, no surprise. Malady just nodded and pressed, ¡°And?¡±

    After another long moment of reluctance I told her about looking for my patron¡¯s ¡°friend¡± and that was the reason for why we had gone to the cave before I showed her the stone. Malady examined it closely before handing it back but my distraction didn¡¯t work for long.

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t explain why you refused to sleep after the cave,¡± she pointed out.

    I didn¡¯t want to tell her¡ªor anyone¡ªabout the dreams. Those were¡­too telling, too vulnerable. But Prevna had already mentioned having a bad dream. Perhaps I could do the same and just neglect to mention the fingers pinning me in place, the question on the wall, the words rasping next to my ear.

    I cleared my throat and told her what I could, ¡°One moment we were awake and the next I couldn¡¯t find Prevna anywhere no matter how I looked. And I looked everywhere! It was horrible. A nightmare. Afterwards¡­I didn¡¯t want to sleep in case I got caught in it. I couldn¡¯t make myself close my eyes for very long.¡±

    She clearly didn¡¯t believe me, ¡°You couldn¡¯t sleep for days because of a nightmare?¡±

    The rest of her question, unsaid but still heard, hung in the air between us: like a child still in swaddling clothes?

    Part of me wanted to yell at her. To get rid of the discomfort through more familiar anger because, in a way, that really was truth even if the nightmare had been terrible in a way losing track of a friend didn¡¯t add up to.

    The rest of me wanted to make her afraid too. ¡°Imagine knowing you¡¯re asleep but no matter what you do you can¡¯t wake up. You¡¯re trapped in the nightmare and every bit of panic feels just as real as it would if you¡¯re awake but in the nightmare the worst thing always happens and you have no way to stop it. You just have to experience it. Over and over and over again. You¡¯re trapped. No control. No way to stop reacting even though you know what you¡¯re feeling, experiencing isn¡¯t real. Your body and emotions aren¡¯t yours to control anymore. Would you want to fall asleep and risk that again?¡±

    Malady relented, ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I agreed.

    Malady drew herself back up, about to ask another question when the tent flap opened again. Kuma crouched outside it, holding it open with one hand so she could look at us.

    ¡°The men are calling on their Master for judgment about our presence causing harm in the valley. Morn has apparently given into them and Logar can¡¯t stop a revolt on his own. Nine Claws told me to tell you that we will meet their Master and ¡®not bash their heads in¡¯ unless she tells us otherwise.¡±

    ¡°They dare¡ª¡± I didn¡¯t hear the rest of Malady¡¯s rant as she shoved past Kuma out of the tent and strode away.

    Kuma gave me a sad smile. ¡°Glad to see you¡¯re alright.¡± She glanced behind her, not quite in the direction Malady stormed off in, before looking back at me. ¡°Don¡¯t look so gutted. Things might be a little hectic, but you didn¡¯t call those fire dancers down on us same as I didn¡¯t plant the vine that caught me. Some time to think and everything should be back to normal.¡±

    I gave her a half hearted glare. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    She nodded. ¡°¡¯Course you are. I¡¯ll get you when we¡¯re moving.¡±

    Then she let the tent flap fall closed and I was left alone with my regrets.

 Notice about Book 4 - Ch. 37

    Hi everyone,

    First I want to thank you again for reading and commenting on the story! Unfortunately it looks like I¡¯m not going to be able to post the new chapter tonight. I¡¯m having some internet trouble and while I¡¯m able to write this from my phone I¡¯m not able to get the chapter to my phone to post it from here as well. I should be able to get the chapter posted tomorrow though since the Internet connection should be fixed by then! I hope you all have been enjoying the story so far and I¡¯m sorry for the trouble. Thank you for your patience!

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 Book 4 - Ch. 37: Stepping Carefully

    Logar met with Nine Claws in the little campsite we had taken over, his hand clamped on Deamar¡¯s shoulder. The older man looked grave as he kept his son in place. For his part, Deamar was glaring at the ground even if the rest of his demeanor indicated he just received the worst dressing down of his life. As soon as they had stepped into our area the jeers and taunts from the mob that had been growing nearby quieted. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if the most obnoxious of them were the ones who had lost their homes to ¡°the incursion¡±.

    ¡°My partner is not good at saying no to his loved ones and he is even worse at being separated from them.¡± He thrust Deamar a step forward. ¡°Our son has suffered for it.¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡± Deamar tried to interrupt but Logar cut him off by simply tightening his grip. I wished I could silence Deamar just as easily but there was no way I¡¯d voluntarily touch him and my expressions tended to incite him into speaking more.

    Malady looked thrilled at the display from her place just behind and to the side of Nine Claws while the whisper woman¡¯s own expression was carefully neutral. I avoided glancing over to where Prevna stood next to Jika, though even I could tell with barely a look that the latter was struggling to stay upright with her support. My stomach twisted, but I ignored the unpleasant feeling as I finished scoping out our group¡ªI had done what I had to. Kuma had a pinched expression on her face, like she didn¡¯t exactly agree with what was happening but she felt obligated to witness it all the same.

    No one else stood with us. Tike and Klus had apparently made themselves scarce since returning to the village and the pair we had brought here seemed to be following a similar notion. With all the attention we were drawing that was probably the smart move, but I was glad for the distraction.

    ¡°Now my partner has failed to say no again and our people will suffer for it,¡± Logar said.

    Nine Claws waited for him to explain why any of it was her problem.

    He continued, ¡°They blame you for how the fire dancers came early this year and so close to our home. For the fights that have broken out. For nightmares and shame and grief.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°And while I might understand why our pasts might push us to those sentiments I still wish for my people to have a future. It seems our isolation has caused many to forget the true potency of the goddess¡¯s wrath.¡± Logar looked down at Nine Claws and gave her a nod of acknowledgment. ¡°Nor that it wouldn¡¯t take the goddess Herself to ruin us.¡±

    Nine Claws finally smiled back him. ¡°Wise words. What are you proposing?¡±

    He gestured with his free hand to the mob that was trying not to grab his attention. ¡°They are calling for your judgment. I will bring you to our Master and make sure no one interferes with the judgment.¡± He drew our attention back to Deamar. ¡°We will also be judged for the same failings that caused our predecessors to flee the valleys: pride and greed.¡± I thought it was odd that he¡¯d lump greed in their current failings but I didn¡¯t want the focus to shift to me so I kept quiet. ¡°In exchange, for your cooperation, I will take you to see what draws the fire dancers from their slumber every year.¡±

    Deamar twisted to stare at him in shock. ¡°You can¡¯t.¡±

    Logar kept his gaze on Nine Claws. ¡°Perhaps you will find what you are looking for.¡±

    ¡°And if the judgment goes poorly?¡± Nine Claws asked.

    ¡°Our lives are as dependent on our Master¡¯s goodwill as yours is on the goddess¡¯s indifference.¡±

    Nine Claws seemed darkly amused by that. ¡°Well, we¡¯ll make sure it goes well then.¡± She glanced back at the rest of us. ¡°We have one that¡¯s in no condition to make even a short journey. She will need to remain here. How can I be sure your people won¡¯t get¡­ideas while we are gone?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll stay.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll watch over her.¡±

    Kuma spoke at the same as Gard did. I squinted at him, unsettled at the idea he could have been nearby and I hadn¡¯t noticed him. Though, at the same, I had gotten used to ignoring the village men in the short time we¡¯ve been here as annoying background noise, given all the things they did trying to provoke us. Colt clung to Gard¡¯s shirt hem and, surprisingly, he didn¡¯t cower under all the glowers the mob sent their way. If they did decide to live here they¡¯d have an uphill battle gaining the rest of the village¡¯s favor after this stunt.

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.Nine Claws nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll trust you both to protect your own.¡±

    Kuma strode to Jika and Prevna and they subtle shifted who was supporting Jika. Prevna gave them more space as Gard and Colt took up the spot on her other side.

    Nine Claws swept her gaze over everyone gathered nearby though her threat was clearly for the villagers. ¡°You should know that any promise I make with your leader is forfeit should more harm come to those I¡¯m meant to protect.¡±

    Some of the men quailed under her warning while others seemed to grow more incensed but not a single one dared to go against her to her face. One of her spectral cats appeared by her foot, walked a few steps and then disappeared again.

    ¡°And I¡¯m always watching.¡±

    Jika was tucked away back into a tent, the three Pickers standing guard, even little Colt, and we followed Logar to see some creature that might have lived since the Era of Night.

    We weren¡¯t a large group. So I found myself bringing up the rear while Prevna walked in front of me. She had glanced back me once with a conflicted expression I didn¡¯t like before she resolutely faced forward again.

    Time. I had to remind myself again that she had asked for time. She hadn¡¯t called me useless or told me to be better. I wasn¡¯t leaving her behind for training. So this wasn¡¯t end, I wouldn¡¯t let it be.

    Still, I found myself missing most of our journey as I watched her walk. No doubt she could feel my eyes boring into her but she only turned toward me again when we all stopped for some reason. Prevna slipped her hand around mine, squeezed, and then she was gone again, slipping forward to put Malady between us.

    That was when I shook myself out of my stupidly narrow focus and looked around. We had traveled away from the village but we were still near the valley¡¯s edge rather than near the lake where I had assumed the Dawn Crawler would be.

    We were in front of another cave entrance. This one wasn¡¯t the wide opening of the Night Cave or even something that two people could walk next to each other in. It was more of a crack in a wall, something we¡¯d have to slide sideways to enter, with rock pressing in on all sides. I didn¡¯t see why any beast would bother with such a place unless the great and mythical beast of the Lower Broken Spear Peaks was the size of a common burrow snake.

    Logar said, ¡°Watch how you step. The path can get steep.¡±

    He led the way again, Deamar close behind, and everyone else after.

    I didn¡¯t want to enter. The cloying fog was bad enough, but there were certain things I could force myself to get used to. This¡­was not one of them. This was tighter than most of the paths in Flickermark and, from what I could see, there wouldn¡¯t be a reprieve from the small space. Even if I forced my way in and it became too much I¡¯d be stuck because I¡¯d have to endure the same claustrophobic space on the way back out. Even calling it it path seemed a bit of a stretch.

    Logically, I knew the narrow path couldn¡¯t hurt me. That Logar had entered it just fine and he was much bigger than me. I wouldn¡¯t have anyone behind me, trapping me in, preventing me from getting to the exit. It was just a link from one place to another. Nothing sinister, nothing terrible. Just stone and darkness I could see perfectly through and too little space between.

    My feet moved no closer to the cave¡¯s entrance.

    Prevna paused as she took the first step inside and then I saw her feet start to move towards me, going the wrong the direction. I jerked my head up from the patch of grass I had been staring at while I tried to will myself forward.

    She tried to gently hold my hand again but I pulled away. ¡°You said you needed time.¡±

    Her smile was pained. ¡°You need a friend. It¡¯s too narrow, right?¡±

    I clenched my hand into a fist. ¡°I can do it on my own. You don¡¯t need to strain yourself on my account.¡±

    She looked at me for a long, long moment before she suddenly chuckled. It was sad and exasperated and rueful all at once. ¡°Storms! We¡¯re a mess, aren¡¯t we?¡± She rubbed her hands over her face. ¡°Just for this tunnel, okay? You¡¯ll let me help you and then we¡¯ll go back to giving each other space so I can think and you can come up with other options than running head first into danger.¡±

    I wanted to take her hand but I didn¡¯t dare quite reach out yet. ¡°How long will it last?¡±

    She glanced back over her shoulder before turning back towards me with one of her knowing looks. Something in me settled when I saw that look on her face but I ignored it and kept my focus on her.

    ¡°Ten steps. Just ten steps and you¡¯ll be through.¡± Prevna held her hand out to me. ¡°Ready?¡±

    I drew in a deep breath before letting it out, took her hand and said, ¡°We shouldn¡¯t keep the others waiting.¡±

    Prevna gently pulled me along behind her so that I had crossed the impossible distance to the cave with hardly any resistance at all. Perhaps that had been all of ten steps. Something so simple I normally wouldn¡¯t even need to think about it.

    Then we had to shift sideways to enter the cursed ¡°pathway¡±. As I took that first awful step inside I told myself that this was new, that there was nothing for the memories to cling to despite the feeling I was entering a place that had no easy escape. When a memory did drag at me I forced it aside with the more tactile memory of the last time Prevna had led me, hand in hand, through my fear. The fog along the shore had been oppressive in its expansiveness, in the threats it hid, but I would take that over the feeling of stone pressing into my back and stomach at the same time, of elbows and knees bruised simply because there wasn¡¯t enough space to move, the dwindling of what light the cave entrance had to offer like a tent entrance getting increasing smaller until suddenly it disappeared and we could only see because of our darksight boons.

    We inched and slid and silently cursed our way down that dark crack in a mountain until we finally reached its end. It took a lot more than ten steps but I didn¡¯t hold the lie against Prevna. Not when it got me through and she held my hand the entire time.

 Book 4 - Ch. 38: The Dawn Crawler

    We stepped into a wide, low cavern filled with pillars and the glowing plants that had lit up the inside of the village¡¯s meeting hall. Here, however, instead of just glowing bulbs there were unfurled white, golden, and amber flowers the size of my head everywhere and their vines also had a muted glow. After the dark passage way it really was like stepping into the light of a new dawn.

    Prevna and I shared a look of surprise before we hurried to catch up with the others, who were already winding their way through the pillars towards the other end of the cavern. I couldn¡¯t help but run my fingers over one of the flowers as we passed, despite knowing unknown, likely magical, plants could have plenty of hidden dangers. The petal brightened where I touched it and when I looked closer at where the others had passed I saw similarly brighter spots where they had accidentally touched the plants. This was apparently not a placed easily snuck into without notice.

    The far end of the cavern had been overtaken by a wide pool of lava, seemingly still until you noticed the subtle shift of swirls of deeper currents on its surface. Given that I couldn¡¯t imagine any beast that lorded over the inner valleys squeezing itself through that crack we just came down, I assumed this was a hidden offshoot of the lake filling most of the valley. If the myth really was true, perhaps a quiet place of rest away from the humans that had crowded the Dawn Crawler¡¯s domain until they had discovered that seam in the rock.

    The lava pool filled the air with heat but the air down here was still, so I couldn¡¯t dismiss the sudden gust of wind that pressed my clothes to my back and whipped my braid into my face.

    I whirled around. My hand went to the sling on my belt but I stopped short of pulling it free.

    A lizard with a head as big as I was stared back at me from barely three feet away. Someone cursed behind me but I didn¡¯t have any attention to spare them as I watched more and more pale white scales that had opalescent flashes of red, amber, gold appear from seemingly nothing. It looked like a salamander except it had scales instead of smooth skin, external gills that might have lava running through the fronds, and wings tucked securely against its body. Its tail was also at least three times as long as the rest of its body. It wound around and around the chamber, crossing places I swore we had walked through, and yet for all the flowers the creature might have touched none of them lit up in warning.

    And it was a beast. Its gaze seemed intelligent, but in the same way a bane pack could pick out and corner prey or the storm birds could understand all their commands and not panic at having riders on their backs. I couldn¡¯t imagine bowing my head to it any more than I had to the water snake I had killed, no matter dangerous it might be.

    ¡°Master.¡±

    I turned slightly to see Logar and Deamar lower themselves to the ground. Reverence on the first¡¯s face and shocked awe on the second. Part of me wanted to scoff. The¡­lizard might have been beautiful and terrifying in its ability sneak around despite its size, but was it really any more terrifying than the water snake which had been an even larger scaled beast? Or the fish that had walked on their fins and fought us? Or the abomination that was the corpse gorger?

    I could understand fearing it, respecting its territory, but I couldn¡¯t fathom worshiping it. Not when there was an actual goddess pulling of miracles whenever she had the whim to do so and the reminder of power She granted was marked into everyone¡¯s skin.

    But perhaps that was the point. The men of the village were willing to look to anything that wasn¡¯t the goddess and since they hadn¡¯t made it all the way to Her sister¡¯s territory they had a lizard. Perhaps Minhel, the spirit of the mountains, would have been a better choice but perhaps her image was too close to the goddess and Her society they were escaping from.

    At least it was a smart beast. With how it had appeared we had our backs to a pool of molten rock we couldn¡¯t enter and it had¡­blocked off our only escape. My breath caught as the panic I had been rationalizing away bucked against my rib cage.

    We were trapped.

    And the only way was through that horrid crack that no one should have even been insane enough to squeeze themselves through in the first place, but I couldn¡¯t even reach that narrow escape because the Night Crawler had planted itself between us and it.

    And no matter much I was inclined to belittle it because of how easily the men called it ¡°Master¡±, I couldn¡¯t deny that it was larger and more powerful than me. I didn¡¯t even have a spear this time to defend myself with and no matter how annoying the village men might be I didn¡¯t want to find out how dangerous they could be if we did hurt the Dawn Crawler. I doubted they¡¯d cower at the idea of the goddess¡¯s punishment if harm came to their master.

    Prevna stepped up close behind me so she could murmur in my ear, ¡°You¡¯re not trapped. You can survive anything, so just breathe and you¡¯ll see the sky again.¡±

    I hated taking comfort from her again when I was supposed to be giving her time and space, but I closed my eyes and pretended her words were true. I wasn¡¯t in a tent with judgmental eyes boring into me and questioning my worth, my talent, and just waiting for me to make a mistake or complain. I was stronger now and, no matter how I might have usually preferred it, I wasn¡¯t alone in the cavern.

    ¡°So?¡± Malady¡¯s voice cut through the silence. ¡°How are we to be judged?¡±

    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Prevna stepped away again as my breathing evened out enough that everyone else wouldn¡¯t be able to tell how much the panic was still twisting around in my guts. I also moved back so I wasn¡¯t still the closest one to the beast.

    Nine Claws spoke, just a bit of censure in her tone, ¡°Perhaps we should let them perform whatever rites they may have first.¡±

    A swift look of understanding swept over Malady¡¯s features before she resumed her more common look of mild disapproval. Logar nodded to Nine Claws before he focused back on the Dawn Crawler. He pulled a package that had been tied to the small of his back free and unrolled it to reveal some dead creature that looked like it was some cross between a hare and a squirrel.

    The great lizard stretched its head forward and snapped up its offering in a single gulp. Then it settled back into place, somehow expectant.

    Logar said, ¡°Master, we ask for judgment. These outsiders you see before you are suspected of bringing disorder and danger to the valleys while my son and I seek judgment for approaching these strangers with pride and greed as our predecessors when they betrayed you and these valleys.¡±

    I still thought it was odd that he was talking as if the Dawn Crawler could understand his every word but I knew better than to question it out loud. Besides, either the beast could and we¡¯d somehow get an actual judgment or we could cater to the man¡¯s beliefs and pretend like we all had been given glowing approval.

    Logar faced the four of us. ¡°Ask the Master if you may approach and, if he doesn¡¯t protest, lay your hand on his snout. He¡¯ll give his judgment.¡±

    Malady¡¯s mouth pinched further but she didn¡¯t protest when Nine Claws stepped forward to go first. She asked, ¡°May I approach?¡±

    The Dawn Crawler just stared at her, which I guess wasn¡¯t a ¡®no¡¯, since it let her place her hand on its snout. She gasped softly when her fingers touched its scales and Malady looked about ready to pull her away, but when nothing else happened she didn¡¯t interrupt despite her clear desire to. Nine Claws stood with her hand on the Dawn Crawler¡¯s snout for a handful of seconds before she pulled away, shaken. Then she brushed her hand against the closest flower and it glowed a brilliant, unnatural blue.

    Logar smiled at her. ¡°It seems our Master has no grievances against you.¡±

    Nine Claws gestured to Malady to take her place and the fire starter complied immediately. Her turn being judged followed the same pattern of asking to approach, placing her hand on the creature¡¯s snout, and then after pulling her hand, looked vaguely annoyed, she brushed her hand against another flower that had originally been bright orange only for it to turn that same bright blue.

    Prevna was never one to miss something exciting and new so she went next before I could insist on going first. However, she almost looked giddy after she took her hand away and then she placed her hand on the creature¡¯s snout again. The Dawn Crawler huffed out another small breath and she took her hand away after only a moment had passed but she didn¡¯t seem scared when she brushed her hand against a flower and got the same blue as the others.

    Then it was my turn and I couldn¡¯t help but think something was likely to wrong. I walked back to the spot I had been when the Dawn Crawler had shown itself to us.

    ¡°May I approach?¡±

    The Dawn Crawler didn¡¯t react, just like with the others, so I walked forward with all the confidence I could muster and placed my right hand against its snout.

    Flashes of my time in the inner valleys flooded through my mind¡¯s eye and I could do nothing to stop them. Our fight with the rats and the plant monster, drinking the resistance mixture, looking at the various places Tike had taken us to, hiding in the tree to escape the fleeing horde of monsters, running my fingers through the plants clinging to the cliff wall in Steamer¡¯s Fall. More and more than I ever would have shown the lizard on my own.

    Then there was a new stream of images, images that weren¡¯t my own. Dozens of scenes of various animals scattering and plants growing every which way. A handful more of insects following each other in a line, baby animals wobbling after their mothers. Somehow it was all directed at me and I got the impression that the Dawn Crawler was telling me chaos followed me wherever I went which I didn¡¯t think was fair once I shoved aside the mind bending idea that the great lizard was communicating with me in an impossible way.

    More images and short scenes, though these seemed to be absolving me of complete blame for the trouble that had happened in the valley since we arrived. Everything needed to survive and, despite the Dawn Crawler not being around as far as I knew when the fire dancers swept close to the village, it seemed to know we weren¡¯t responsible for that either.

    My hand released from the spot it had rested on the Dawn Crawler¡¯s snout and I couldn¡¯t help but sigh in relief. In a way I didn¡¯t want to look at too closely the way the Dawn Crawler communicated was a bit too similar to getting lost in a memory. I brushed my hand against a nearby flower but instead of perfect brilliant blue one petal had a turned light purple.

    Logar cleared his throat. ¡°It seems our Master has found you guilty of one light grievance.¡±

    I tried to move away, to deny that I had ever done anything wrong, when the Dawn Crawler pinned my foot under one giant claw and scooped up Deamar with its tail. Deamar yelped as he was pulled to stand next to me before he looked desperately back at his father for guidance. Then he reluctantly pressed his hand against the creature¡¯s snout.

    A handful of seconds later he had snatched his hand back and he was glaring at me.

    ¡°What?¡± I snapped at him without thinking.

    My answer came as the Dawn Crawler used the tip of its tail to smack my hand back down onto its snout and I was flooded with images again. Images of animals being driven out of their group when they were sick and beyond saving, when they weren¡¯t contributing enough, when they were more trouble than they were worth. Then came a vibrantly clear image of Deamar and me at the top of the mountains and I got the feeling we were leaving the inner valleys behind where there was only peaceful mist and quiet left behind us. Trouble taking trouble away.

    I snatched my hand back. ¡°No.¡±

    I wouldn¡¯t be tied to Deamar, of all people, just because some lizard thought it was a good idea. He¡¯d be leaving anyways because of Nine Claws¡¯s decree about the trial the village¡¯s young men were supposed to undertake.

    Still, I couldn¡¯t stop Deamar from touching the one purple petal on the flower I had touched so that it briefly turned a darker purple before changing again to the same blue as all the rest. The Dawn Crawler let Deamar go and then touched the tip of its tail to Logar¡¯s forehead.

    The man nodded back at the creature once the tail dropped away, resigned. ¡°He will go as you will, Master.¡±

    When Logar touched a flower it turned all blue. So, in the end, only Deamar and I were judged to be troublemakers and apparently we were supposed to solve everything by leaving the inner valleys in peace.

 Book 4 - Ch. 39: Things to Consider

    We were given a grace period. Deamar and I had until the end of our current dose of the resistance drink to get our affairs in order and then get ourselves out of the inner valleys. Which meant we had about a week.

    Deamar was distraught. And more than willing to lay the blame at my feet. That was weeks before he was supposed to be whisked away due to the Trial of Fog or Snow¡ªand he still hadn¡¯t reconciled the notion that he was going to be leaving the inner valleys for that either.

    I ignored his moaning and groaning, just like I ignored the mob of men that had gathered outside the crevice that led down to the Dawn Crawler¡¯s hideaway. I¡¯d like to say it was because I was planning my next moves, how to meet both Mishtaw¡¯s and the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ requests within the new deadline, but the truth was that the knowledge of a definite end to the smothering fog only brought me relief. I had to give more of my concentration than I liked not to slip into a memory on our way back up from the cave and shoving my way free of that crack in the wall only to be met with dense fog? That might have broken my resolve in way I couldn¡¯t easily come back from if I hadn¡¯t had a deadline.

    The other leader of the village, Morn, was at the head of the group waiting for us, but he seemed more like a fussing caretaker rather than the angry leader of a mob bent on teaching us a lesson. He and Logar exchanged some quiet, heated words while everyone else awkwardly waited before Morn suddenly marched to the crack in the wall and disappeared inside. The mob looked to Logar as soon as their leader disappeared without a word of guidance and he took whatever fight was left in them and crushed it.

    ¡°Our Master has decreed that one of the girls and Deamar must leave by the end of this round of resistance due to disorder they are bringing to the inner valleys. The rest are blameless, and none are responsible for the fire dancers¡¯ early arrival. If you cause further trouble for our guests our Master might have a decree for you too.¡±

    We left and most of the mob trailed behind us, subdued. A handful stayed behind, likely waiting to hear the truth from Morn. They could waste their time if they wanted to and, besides, even they had been quieted by Logar¡¯s censure I doubted any of us were comfortable having a group of fuming strangers at our backs. I kept my position at the tail end of our group so that if any of them decided they no longer cared about the Dawn Crawler¡¯s opinion I could take the brunt of their frustration.

    No one lost control of their common sense on our return walk unless you counted the way Deamar kept trying to wheedle Logar into letting him stay, trying to get him to say there could be a different interpretation for the Dawn Crawler¡¯s images even though the creature¡¯s intent had been very clear.

    What I wanted to know was why the lizard had decided to single out Deamar and me. Had it overheard our arguments during the past week and decided they were especially annoying? Or had it been planning on shoving Deamar out of his spoiled nest for some time and I just happened to be a good face to put on the discontent we had stirred by showing up in the inner valleys because I wasn¡¯t the leader of our group?

    Well, I was the most likely to start a fight. I could admit that. Malady might want to teach everyone else a lesson every time she though Nine Claws was being disrespected but she also stood down the moment Nine Claws said something. Nine Claws also might threaten violence but, from what I had seen, she and Prevna were the most likely to reach for a diplomatic solution. Jika, Kuma and the other Pickers just didn¡¯t want any trouble and did what they could to keep themselves out of it. For the most part.

    When we got back to our little camp Jika was still resting and Kuma reported that the villagers had left them alone. Surprisingly, Gard and Colt settled by the fire pit instead of returning to wherever they had been staying in the village. I overheard Gard say to Kuma that with how volatile everything had been they preferred to stay with those they knew and chance whatever the mountainside held when we left the fog. Which sort of defeated the point of us bringing the Pickers here with us in the first place, but I couldn¡¯t blame him for not wanting to stay in a place where they cut down trees and that was constantly covered in a dangerous fog that hid even more unnatural things.

    Logar promised he¡¯d be back to take us to see where the fire dancers before he dragged Deamar away with him so he could learn the effort it took to hold a village together. Prevna went inside the tent we had been sharing and the others left me alone so I found myself standing on the edge of the camp, not sure where to go.

    I was tempted to go find a tree I could sit in and think, but even I knew better than to make myself a lone target for the villagers¡¯ lingering blame by claiming a tree within the village or set off into the valley when it was full of potentially dangerous creatures and plants I had never heard of before. Doing either of those things would only give Prevna more reason to be upset with me. In the end, I settled away from the fire pit along the side of the tent Jika was resting in.

    The longer I sat there, the more I realized letting my mind go rampant might not be for the best either. I tried to distract myself by checking over my gear and watching the others as they went about their own tasks. I did my habitual rounds of quizzing myself over the various plants and animals, poisons and remedies I had learned as well as other lessons I was supposed to know as a Sprout. Malady and Gard collected everyone¡¯s waterskins and went to fill them up at the springs. I almost pushed to join them, just for excuse to move and shake off the thoughts that wanted to press at me, but I held my tongue. If I went along, I¡¯d be just as tempted to start something as a distraction and, no matter how much I wanted to escape the fog, I didn¡¯t want to cut my time in the inner valleys short before I completed my missions.

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    But in the camp I couldn¡¯t escape my thoughts and the things I could do couldn¡¯t resolve the problems I was facing. Before, in the tent, I had shock to keep the worst of it at bay and then we were going to see the Dawn Crawler¡­but now there was time to reflect.

    I didn¡¯t like what I found.

    I had hurt Prevna simply because she wanted me to be safe for once, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to be¡ªand in the process, I had endangered Jika as well. First, by not making her got Deamar or going with them myself, and second, by making her drink most of an untested mixture that had been made based on a lot of assumptions. Finally, I left her to deal with the mess I had created when I¡­gave up instead of struggling against those phantoms in the fog.

    I should have kept pushing, like normal. No matter how exhausted I was or how many memories were threatening to pull me under their influence. No matter how I had been pulled from one extreme to another or how much cutting myself off from all those looks of disappointment had felt like the only bit of control I had left.

    I had given up and it could have cost Jika her life if we both hadn¡¯t been lucky.

    That wasn¡¯t acceptable.

    I had resolved that I would become one of the goddess¡¯s Chosen. That I would gain that authority for my own sake and I couldn¡¯t do that if I gave up whenever the memories got to strong. I needed¡ª

    A spectral cat was plopped down into my lap. It was warm and soft, but lacking the weight that I knew should have been there from the few times I had coxed one of the camp dogs over to me when I was younger. The cat was as large as some of those dogs too. It barely fit in my lap even after it curled into a ball.

    Nine Claws settled down next me with two other spectral cats vying for her attention. One ended up on her lap while the other sprawled out on her shoulders.

    ¡°I¡¯m not your mentor¡ªand I don¡¯t think I¡¯d want to be with the way you live up to the rumors for getting into trouble. But,¡± Nine Claws smiled as she continued, ¡°there is something to be said for keeping things interesting. So let me just say a few things and if you¡¯re here beside me to listen, well, that could just be a bit of coincidence.¡±

    I stayed where I was and petted the cat in my lap which she took for the tacit agreement it was.

    ¡°A lot of people will tell you that your blessing determines what sect you¡¯ll belong to. That those with the ability to collect information at distance or that go undetected go to Hundred Eyes and those that get physical or fighting enhancements join the Peace Keepers, and so on and so forth. There¡¯s a candle¡¯s worth of truth in that. But the whole truth of it is that you join the sect that likes you the most or you make yourself so indispensable that they can¡¯t refuse. If you can¡¯t manage one of those two things, even if you join a sect, they¡¯ll keep you at the bottom forever. More of a whisper woman in name than deed.¡±

    Nine Claws kissed the cheek of the cat on her shoulder. ¡°By convention, these guys should have meant I joined Hundred Eyes or Beastwatcher, but I had no desire to be a spy or land inspector. So I made myself indispensable to the Scales.¡±

    I stared at her in shock and my hand fell still until the cat on my lap wriggled to remind me pets were still expected. I wanted to ask Nine Claws why she had wanted to be a Scale of all things or why a Scale would escort us through unknown territory in exchange for favor. Why would Mishtaw have even thought to ask her? From what I knew the Scales were one of the sects most likely to stay penned up on their tree in the Seedling Palace while they reviewed and debated all the rules and preferences She had ever even hinted at.

    ¡°Your trouble is that none of the sects are keen on you because the rumors that follow you around, the enemies you¡¯ve already made, and the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ patronage. You¡¯re known as a dangerous and unpredictable burden, and most are glad that Mishtaw has been stuck with you since she¡¯s also had difficulty bowing her head to the unwritten rules everyone knows.¡±

    Nine Claws petted the cat on her lap. ¡°You¡¯re already being kicked out of these valleys in less than a month despite having little ties here or time to make trouble. Best to make sure the same doesn¡¯t happen with whatever sect you choose. I¡¯ve heard that conditions are about right for Sprouts to earn wind whispering, if you¡¯re strong and stubborn enough you can earn your last boon at the same time.¡± She met my gaze. ¡°If you want to stand out from the rest in a good way, make yourself indispensable, that might be a place to start.¡±

    She shifted her gaze back to the fog above us. ¡°But those are just some thoughts of a Scale spoken to the fog and her cats. Who knows what the future will bring?¡±

    The cat on my lap disappeared along with the other two as Nine Claws got up and stretched before striding away, like she hadn¡¯t just dumped something new to worry about in my lap. I knew a lot of the whisper women didn¡¯t like me because of my blessing or because I had attacked that random whisper woman and Yule. I knew that most of the time the sects divvied up the Sprouts they wanted and the Sprouts then chose those sects back. There were outliers like Mishtaw and Nine Claws, of course, but it didn¡¯t surprise me that others would consider them misfits for breaking the unspoken protocol. I hadn¡¯t given much thought to exactly which sect I¡¯d end up with, other than the fact that I could be separated from Prevna, since I hadn¡¯t wanted to give my all for the goddess¡¯s glory nor did I have clear idea about which one would be the best fit. It seemed, however, I would have to decide soon if I wanted to become good enough rise within a sect and not just accepted and forgotten.

    Of course, finding the relic for Mishtaw and the Lady of calm Waters¡¯ elusive friend would have to come first with my new time limit, but once that was taken care of I could take the time to figure out what sect might be best.

 Book 4 - Ch. 40: From Ashes We Grow

    Jika still looked like how I felt when my blessing held me right on the edge of death, but she was apparently put out that she had missed seeing the Dawn Crawler the day before so when we gathered to see what drew the fire dancers out of the lake of fire every year, she insisted on coming along. She didn¡¯t even fully back down when Malady and Nine Claws pressed her on her ability to stay upright. It was nice to see that she could have a spine, but I also wished she didn¡¯t send my mind into a spiral just by standing in my line of view.

    On one hand, she might not be alive if I hadn¡¯t given her my slipshod concoction because she wouldn¡¯t have been able to stay awake long enough to get to safety and I doubted my ability to carry her as far as she had taken me.

    On the other hand, my mixture definitely hadn¡¯t done her any favors in the long run and it could have been just as dangerous as the fog.

    Really, I should have forced her onto the floating box with Deamar and been done with it in the first place, because now I had my whole childhood¡¯s worth of training telling me all the reasons she should by laying down, recovering, and all the things that should be done to help her get better, faster, that I couldn¡¯t act on while another part of me was precariously close to breaking and giving her an apology even though that was weakness through and through¡ªand it wouldn¡¯t solve anything.

    She just looked so pitiable and I knew that one way or another I should have been the one to deal with the consequences of my ideas and not her. But here I was walking around, normal, after finally getting enough sleep while she looked like the one who had stayed awake for days on end and could barely function as a result.

    That was partly on her for insisting on staying with me at Steamer¡¯s Fall but I knew better than to make the argument that she would have had the guts to stay there on her own. If I had gone back to the village in the floating box, she would have to.

    So, in the end, I compromised between the two warring parts of my mind so they¡¯d shut up and I could think about anything else.

    ¡°You should use a spear to help you balance as you walk so you don¡¯t fall and break your nose on top of everything else,¡± I said.

    Jika recoiled slightly at my sudden bit of instruction, but Prevna handed over her spear without a word while giving me a look of conflicted amusement. I kept my focus on Jika so I couldn¡¯t be accused of not giving her the time she asked for.

    ¡°Also make sure you drink lots of water and if you get dizzy don¡¯t push it.¡±

    I stomped away before she could say anything. It was all common sense advice but almost no one would have bothered to say it if they didn¡¯t have a healer¡¯s background. I didn¡¯t like hinting at my past but even if she followed what I said it couldn¡¯t be construed as healing since I hadn¡¯t done anything.

    I would have preferred it if Logar had taken us to see what he had promised the day before, but there hadn¡¯t been a lot of hours left in the day by the time we were done seeing the Dawn Crawler. Instead we left early in the morning and with a bigger group than anticipated.

    Logar and Morn led the way with Deamar sulking on their heels. I wasn¡¯t sure why we needed both leaders to show us where to go, but they were dressed differently than normal with ash painted across their faces in intricate designs. Morn also held the charred remains of some animal that hadn¡¯t escaped the fire dancers¡¯ path.

    Kuma was also coming along this time while Gard and Colt stayed behind to keep an eye on our camp. She kept close to Jika with Prevna. Nine Claws kept between their group and the men at the front while Malady, for some disconcerting reason, drifted back to keep pace with me at the back of the group.

    I glanced at her sidelong but I refused to be the one to break the silence as we walked down to the village¡¯s docking area and then piled onto a floating box to cut across the giant lake of molten rock. I claimed a spot by the edge and tried to see through the fog so I could focus on something else other than the press of people in the box. Though the sheer unnatural nature of the fact that we were in a box made of wood on a lake of liquid fire did a good job of distracting me already.

    Until Malady settled into the spot next to me. She stood there, one hand lightly resting on the railing, her ridiculously large pack on her back in case something unexpected happened.

    ¡°I know Helena spoke to you about the sects last night. Don¡¯t neglect your choice of fire starter either. We can make or break a whisper woman¡¯s success.¡± She cut her gaze over to where I knew Deamar was still hiding in his parents¡¯ shadows.

    ¡°He¡¯s not my fire starter.¡± I glowered at her for the implication.

    She was unfazed. ¡°Then don¡¯t let anyone else know the lizard tied you two together or find someone else quick. There¡¯s surely more than a few who¡¯d jump at the chance to ruin your chances, especially when the means are practically handed to them.¡±

    ¡°Why do you even care?¡± I asked. ¡°How would anyone else even find out?¡±

    ¡°If you think that boy won¡¯t open his mouth and complain about the injustices he thinks have been done to him at every opportunity, then you¡¯re much more of a fool than I took you for,¡± Malady said. ¡°It won¡¯t help you or him but he¡¯s so used to being coddled, you¡¯ll be lucky if he realizes the damage he¡¯s done before it¡¯s too late and you¡¯re both stuck in situation you can¡¯t escape from.¡±

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    And I couldn¡¯t even threaten him not to talk about how it was all my fault he was being forced from his precious valley because that would just push him to be even louder about it. Nor did I have much faith in appealing to his sense of reason since I still wasn¡¯t sure if he even had one.

    Since I couldn¡¯t force Deamar to be smart, I pressed Malady for more answers instead. ¡°Why do you and Nine Claws care all of the sudden? You should be giving all this advice to Prevna.¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s to say we aren¡¯t?¡± Malady raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°Besides, it¡¯s not that we suddenly care. We respect your mentor and she knows us well enough to know we¡¯d be interested in taking on this mission for more than the relic and exploring new territory.¡±

    ¡°So what, you agreed to fulfill Mishtaw¡¯s favor so you could meet me?¡± Something in my guts twisted at the thought. I knew I had made more of a name for myself than I ever would have wanted between Flickermark¡¯s mark on my chin and the way things had gone down during my few months in the Seedling Palace so I got booted out to a war front on the shore, but it still didn¡¯t make sense that fully fledged whisper women and fire starters would seek me out.

    Malady nodded. ¡°Helena did. She likes to discover for herself the difference between common knowledge and the truth.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°And we¡¯ve discovered enough to realize that the Lady of Calm Waters was right to snatch you up when she did. It¡¯d be a waste for you to be trapped amongst the bottom ranks of whisper women, unable to do anything meaningful, because you make enemies as easily as you breathe.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t¡ª¡±

    She cut me off. ¡°Just think on it. Every whisper woman needs a personal fire starter unless they join the Beastwatchers.¡±

    I jumped on that tidbit of information. ¡°They don¡¯t have individual fire starters?¡±

    She pressed her lips together in distaste. ¡°They pool theirs together. Some still end up paired since they work so well together or if they chose each other before joining the sect, but for the most part they treat us as interchangeable tools.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure if that was true but I didn¡¯t waste my breath debating an issue I wasn¡¯t involved in. There was some appeal to the idea of not having someone follow me around all the time, but I wasn¡¯t sure if the trade off of always dealing with someone new was worth it.

    Malady left me to rejoin Nine Claws and no one else took her place so I was able to spend the rest of the trip across the lake in peace. I kept a careful, but subtle, eye on Jika as we started to hike up the side of one of the mountains ringing the valley after we left the floating box behind. She handled the climb well though with her spear in hand to help keep her balance, and Prevna and Kuma right there to lend a hand. Another night or two of good sleep to recover from her exhaustion and for whatever lingering effects the mixture might have to leave her body and she¡¯d probably be back to normal.

    About halfway up the mountain we arrived at a clear path carved into its side. The entire thing looked melted, like rock filling the lake below had finally cooled. Leading up to the melted path was another path of scorched earth that I recognized as the fire dancers¡¯ work. It was like over the course of a dozen steps the fire dancers had decided they need to burn more than the foliage so they had lit up the mountainside until the ground beneath their feet boiled and melted into something slick and uneven.

    We followed the new path up while doing our best not to slip. More than once Prevna or Kuma had to catch Jika by the elbow when her exhaustion caused her to miscalculate her footing. It didn¡¯t help that the higher we followed the path, the more the side to our right dropped away into a cliff. The fog clung around us no matter how high we went.

    It also blocked our view of what lay in wait until I looked up from my footing that had finally evened out to see that we had entered a bowl carved into the mountain top. Like a giant had sheared its peak off before scooping out a deep basin in the center for good measure.

    In that basin was a sight so familiar and yet so unlike anything I had ever seen that I stopped cold, just so I could try to process what I was seeing. Dozens and dozens of what could only be fire dancers filled the space. They were humanoid in shape but where we were made of flesh and blood, they were all fire.

    All of them were as still as statues, locked into one last gesture, one last step. An eternal final move to their dance. Those closest to us were still embodiments of fire, burning brightly, while those closer to the circle they were locked in smoldered, mostly embers and gray ash. Even closer to center had bits of glass poking through their ashy exteriors while those in very center were fully clear glass.

    And those that were made of glass refracted the glow from the thin lines of lava crisscrossing the space beautifully.

    It was like stepping into the Statue Garden all over again, but instead of finding monsters that could curse me with a touch I found mystical creatures whose sole purpose was to be beautiful.

    Morn gently dumped the scorched remains of the creature he had been carrying into one of the thicker lines of lava. ¡°Every year they dance through the valley, creating the ash the plants need to thrive and areas for new growth, before they join the others here. Offering their fire so they can all dance once more.¡±

    Nine Claws asked, ¡°Why gather here?¡±

    Morn just nodded to an area across the basin. I couldn¡¯t see what he was indicating at first until I found a bit of higher ground so I could see over the dancers¡¯ heads.

    That was when I saw the throne resting on a ledge partially up the basin¡¯s wall. It was nothing like our goddess¡¯s nest in the Seedling Palace, but the grand nature of it, the impossible way sunlight seemed to be caught the braided strands of glass that made up the chair, and the unusual furniture itself made it obvious who had sat there.

    We were in a valley dedicated to a goddess who had been cut of from it for centuries and, perhaps once a upon a time, she had sat on that chair and watched while her dancers preformed for her delight.

    Now they still danced, but there was no one to see. The villagers gave their loyalty to a lizard instead of a goddess¡¯s empty throne and the only other goddess scorned dance with a passion.

    This place truly was an ever burning funeral pyre. Abandoned and grieving for a past that wasn¡¯t likely to ever come true again. A relic of when the goddess¡¯s had been on friendly terms.

    I wasn¡¯t sure why the fire dancers kept dancing every year, unless that was an oversight on Azabel¡¯s part when she was barred from entering our goddess¡¯s territory, but they were definitely eerie in a way the shamble men weren¡¯t. The fire dancers had sounded alive when they passed by Steamer¡¯s Fall and now they seemed no more alive than the surrounding stone. The shamble men were likened to statues for how still they could be for years on end but there was still some life to them. The feeling that they could move at any moment.

    These fire dancers were different. Like the life had been cut from them. Like how the goddess could give and take away our blessings on a whim, so to could Her sister give and take away the very life she had made us with, with similar impunity.

    That thought sent a shudder all the way down my back. For all that our goddess was terrifying and powerful, She couldn¡¯t start and end our existence like puppets on a string. She might kill us because we drew Her wrath, but that felt entirely different than what Her sister could do.

 Book 4 - Ch. 41: The Throne

    I ended up on the ledge, just a step or two from the goddess¡¯s former throne. In a way, it seemed to encapsulate everything else wrong with the inner valleys. Unnatural and artificial. Something that didn¡¯t match its surroundings, the craggy basin walls, the ever present fog, the trails of lava, just like the inner valleys themselves were so strange compared to the goddess¡¯s surrounding territory. Heat and light might be a theme of the inner valleys, but the chair was too¡­angular to fit in with the nature around it, like the village¡¯s buildings made of cut wood.

    Perhaps that was why the goddesses had their falling out. Perhaps it had been inevitable. Our goddess seemed perfectly content with Her storms and snow, darkness and pine trees, but from what I had learned of Her sister, Azabel, didn¡¯t seem content to leave things as they were. She always seemed to be changing things, creating them. Most of the relics Mishtaw had taken us to and the harp that had caused such trouble at the Rookery had her touch on them. And, of course, there was us. The humans she had created and betrayed her sister for. Our goddess was far from easy to live under, but, perhaps, if the sisters had been more alike everything might be less of struggle.

    The Lady Blue might not exist to terrorize the shores. The spying and fighting that I was sure happened on both sides of the border between territories wouldn¡¯t be necessary. Of course, humans wouldn¡¯t exist either but they might have made something else together. The thought made something in my stomach feel like I was about go into free fall, so I focused back on reality.

    A goddess had once sat in the chair in front of me. If I reached out I could touch it. Part of me had expected it to be like the goddess¡¯s nest in the Seedling Palace. Ever present, but just out of reach. A reminder that the goddess was a power unto Herself and we were at the mercy of Her summons and whim.

    In contrast, all it taken to reach this throne was walking across the basin and up a set of wide, slightly crumbling stairs. I couldn¡¯t imagine the goddess allowing anything of Hers to crumble, much less abandoning it. From what Nine Claws had said, our goddess should have pockets like the inner valleys in Her sister¡¯s territory, but I couldn¡¯t picture it. Not with how She reacted to even one pine tree being damaged.

    Of course, I had no way to know for sure. Even if I did meet another of Azabel¡¯s Envoys, like the one who had stolen the harp, we wouldn¡¯t be able to understand each other, and the thought of traveling deep enough into the other goddess¡¯s territory to find out on my own was absurd. That sounded like something the Hundred Eyes would be in charge of and I had enough bad blood with multiple members of that sect that I knew I¡¯d never rise above their bottom ranks if I joined them. Nor was I likely to do well with the blending in such a task likely required.

    I had always stood out for one bad reason or another.

    ¡°Thinking about destroying something else you shouldn¡¯t?¡±

    I rolled my eyes before I turned to face my accuser. Deamar.

    ¡°I¡¯m thinking that in all the times I¡¯ve heard you say one inane thing after another you should have been able to not put your foot in your mouth at least once.¡±

    He stopped hovering at the top of the stairs to step full onto the platform. ¡°You only got away from the fire dancers because of me. I should have let you burn.¡±

    I scoffed. ¡°Perhaps I should have let you be trampled then.¡± I let that sink in a moment before I continued, ¡°There¡¯s two things you need to understand: I will survive any and everything you might think of to punish me for your own failings, and two, if you need to blame someone, blame your precious Master. The lizard is the one who exiled you.¡±

    I came up to his chest, at most, but I was confident there was little he could do to truly hurt me. He had been so confident when we first met him, the arrogant heir pretending to already be one of the villager¡¯s leaders. But all he had to prop him up was bluster and others¡¯ indulgence. That had been clear the moment his fathers sent him to the side of the meeting chamber like a scolded puppy. Compared to Tike, he barely knew anything about his own home and even when he had an idea he didn¡¯t seem to make it all the way to considering its consequences.

    I might not agree with being lumped in with him, but I couldn¡¯t fault the Dawn Crawler for sending him away. I didn¡¯t want to deal with him either.

    ¡°Go away. It¡¯s your own fault no one wants you around.¡±

    He shoved me. It was juvenile and just unexpected enough that I tripped over my feet and onto the throne.

    The world disappeared.

    I couldn¡¯t focus on it as I felt something foreign digging at my insides, grasping and coming up empty as it tried to connect with¡­my life? My blessing? There was a moment where it seemed to pause at my bless mark before whatever power was in the throne slipped around it, unable to grab hold.

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    I bolted off the throne. And grabbed Deamar¡¯s wrist so I could smack his hand against the throne¡¯s warm glass. He was too startled to resist me in time but nothing happened that I could see before he snatched his hand back.

    ¡°What was that?¡± he hissed.

    An experiment and a punishment so he could know what I just felt. Not that I bothered to tell him that.

    The throne was full of longing, a yearning that grasped for anything made of heat and light. Fire. But somehow I knew dumping a bucket full of lava from the veins down below wouldn¡¯t do a thing. That yearning had ignored my body heat. It had grasped for my blessing but my blessing was all wrong for it. I had thought it might like whatever Deamar had to offer but I had forgotten that anyone who lived in the valley for more than a year had their common blessing sealed off.

    I cast my eyes about the basin before I found who I was looking for. I rushed past Deamar and back about halfway around the basin before I reached where Nine Claws and Malady were examining one of the fire dancers.

    I pointed. ¡°The throne does something. I accidentally touched it and it felt like it was trying to draw fire out of me. Like the common blessing.¡±

    Nine Claws straightened from her crouch while Malady and her shared a look that seemed like a whole conversation in a moment. ¡°The Other is know for imbuing objects with power. You think the throne is one of them?¡±

    I fought not to shudder. ¡°I was there when the harp was stolen from the statue by the Rookery. I never felt anything when I touched it, and the harp managed to put the whole camp to sleep with a handful of notes. That chair was trying to suck power from me on its own.¡±

    ¡°Malady.¡± All Nine Claws had to say was her name and the fire starter understood. She strode back the way I had come while we followed a few steps behind.

    Deamar was still on the throne¡¯s platform when we returned to it. I would have said that was more bravery than I expected of him, but I wasn¡¯t sure if he had simply forgotten how to work his legs. He babbled at Nine Claws about how I forced his hand onto the throne but she cut him off with a word before she gestured for Malady to continue towards the throne.

    Malady placed her hand on the throne¡­

    ¡­And crumpled.

    Nine Claws pulled her away from the throne before rousing her. Malady bolted upright as soon as the splash of water hit her face but her voice was hoarser than it should have been.

    ¡°It wanted too much. I felt it suck my blessing away and it wanted so much more.¡± Malady paled and she snapped her fingers. There was no flicker of flame.

    Nine Claws covered her hand with her own before she turned them so the dot on the inside of Malady¡¯s wrist showed. It was still dark black. ¡°Your blessing will return.¡± She glanced back at the throne. ¡°Fit for a goddess indeed. If they found a way inside this fog¡­I need to inform Mishtaw.¡±

    The others had noticed our antics by now and they all hurried over while Nine Claws found a better spot to speak on the wind.

    Malady uncharacteristically stayed sitting, but her glare stopped the group from crowding the ledge. ¡°No one touches the throne.¡±

    Deamar filled his fathers in on the rest¡ªwith more complaints than necessary and an accusation or two leveled at me¡ªwhile everyone else listened in. Prevna gave me a sharp look before she cut her gaze away. Jika seemed concerned that someone would tell her to touch the throne next while Kuma¡¯s expression didn¡¯t change. I wasn¡¯t sure if that was because she thought it was obvious that a goddess¡¯s throne would be special or if she thought it didn¡¯t concern her.

    As for the village leaders, Logar took in the information stoically while his partner was shocked by the sudden turn of events.

    Morn accused me as easily as his son had. ¡°You dared to touch the throne?¡±

    I looked down on him from my place on the platform. ¡°Your son didn¡¯t give me much choice.¡±

    Morn visibly took a moment to bring his emotions back under control. ¡°Apologies. But this is a place that should be respected.¡±

    Malady broke into the conversation, ¡°We have no reason to respect what belonged to the  sister, except for our goddess¡¯s whim. It is on Her word that we will leave this place alone or uncover its secrets. Did you know about the throne¡¯s¡­hunger?¡±

    Logar shook his head. ¡°It is common knowledge not to disturb the throne or the dancers in case that ruined the year¡¯s dance.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s all?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all,¡± he said.

    We waited for Nine Claws to let us know what would happen next. If nothing else, this place, the throne, it likely was the relic Mishtaw had been seeking. And even if the the song that pushed us to explore these mountains had been about the lake of fire, this wasn¡¯t something we could ignore.

    From what I gleaned over my time with Mishtaw¡¯s group, the Envoys of the other goddess had been getting bolder in recent years. The harp was just one example. Other relics that had been scattered across Heliquat¡¯s territory for decades, possibly centuries, were being pilfered and smuggled back across the border. Which was why Mishtaw made frequent rounds of the ones she knew about and hunted down whispers of others so the whisper women could be better prepared to stop the thieves.

    With the power this throne seemed to hold, there was little doubt the thieves would want it, if they could learn how to navigate the fog and somehow dislodge the throne from where it was fixed to the ledge. Likely those difficulties were what had protected the throne this long from theft, but if we could wrangle the truth for the resistance mixture from the Pickers then it wasn¡¯t impossible for the Envoys to learn of it as well.

    Nine Claws returned from where she been speaking privately to announce that we would be meeting Mishtaw outside the fog in two days time and then leading her here to see the throne. I could tell the village leaders wanted to protest another whisper woman entering their valleys but they held their tongues. Deamar wasn¡¯t quite as smart and Logar had to hush his protest. In the meantime, a watch would be set. We would trade out so Nine Claws and Malady could take care of whatever preparations needed to made in the village and we could sleep in the relatively more comfortable lodgings there, and whoever was on watch could make sure that the throne wasn¡¯t stolen out from under our noses like the harp had been.

 Book 4 - Ch. 42: Back to Back

    Somehow the first watch ended up being me, Prevna, and Kuma. By rights, we didn¡¯t need all three of us to stare at a throne, but I had watched Prevna slip up next to Nine Claws before the watch was announced, so I didn¡¯t make my point about overusing our resources.

    Despite us being first watch, Nine Claws was the one who stayed behind in what was really an ages old, open air audience chamber while we were sent back to gather our things and return. Malady wasn¡¯t pleased with leaving her on her own but she didn¡¯t question Nine Claws in front of the rest of us. The men also didn¡¯t like leaving a whisper woman to her own devices in a place they had neglected to inform us of at the start, so Deamar got stuck with keeping her company. I doubted he could do anything to stop her if she decided to do something he didn¡¯t like, but the token compromise worked out well for everyone but him.

    Nine Claws got to bypass another contest of wills with the villagers about who held real power in the valley while still being basically free to do as she liked in the basin, Malady could console herself that Nine Claws had someone she could order around if needed, Logar and Morn could go back to their village and tell them that their heir was being useful and keeping an eye on the whisper women, and the rest of us didn¡¯t have to deal Deamar¡¯s whining and moping for awhile.

    By the time we gathered our things back in the village, Tike and his crocodile got roped into ¡°helping out¡± with the throne situation since he had already dealt with us for the past week. So while he wasn¡¯t technically part of our watch¡ªeven if no one said it outright we all knew he was supposed to be keeping an eye on us¡ªhe did end up adding another pair of unnecessary eyes watching the throne during our first watch.

    I wasn¡¯t sure what I expected when we arrived back at the audience chamber, but it definitely wasn¡¯t finding Nine Claws and Deamar having an intense, but civil, debate about the goddess¡¯s tenets versus living with a mind invading lizard as a master. From the tail end bit that I heard, Nine Claws had Deamar beat with lived experience and the ability to recall a reference at a moment¡¯s notice to bolster her argument, but Deamar wasn¡¯t just trying to bluster his way through the conversation. He listened to her points and had his own counter arguments, though he clearly wasn¡¯t happy with being on the losing side of the debate.

    Nine Claws had some parting words for Prevna and Kuma but all I got was a significant look that I wasn¡¯t sure that was supposed to be about the throne, the things she told me to consider the night before, or the way Prevna had definitely finagled things so we ended up on this watch together.

    Either way, Deamar and her left not long after we arrived, so we had most of a day and night to fill before the second shift was supposed start tomorrow morning. Being tied to one place when I had a deadline grated on me, but there was little I could about that unless I abandoned our post for a fruitless search. After all, I was sure I knew where I needed to return to in order to officially meet the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ mysterious friend and this basin full of fire dancers and a throne likely was the answer to Rawley¡¯s relic hunt.

    Kuma pulled Tike into helping her get a little camp set up near the entrance to the basin with the tents and other supplies we had taken from the village. Prevna and I were more than capable of helping, but instead we drifted to opposite sides of the audience chamber, putting off whatever conversation I was sure Prevna planning to have.

    At one point we made a funnel of watchfulness. Tike, on the same orders Deamar had been, watched Kuma, Prevna, and me, while I caught Kuma keeping her eye both of us Sprouts, Prevna stared at me from across the basin, and I pretended all my attention was on a throne that hadn¡¯t done anything interesting since Malady touched it.

    I was tempted to touch it again, just to see if it still couldn¡¯t grab ahold of my blessing, but the memory of its invasive grasping kept my hand at my side and my feet a healthy distance from the throne.

    The day wore on as Kuma and Tike kept themselves busy, and I waited for Prevna to make her move. I didn¡¯t doubt that she knew the wait was painful for me but I wasn¡¯t sure it was born more out of her collecting her thoughts or as way for me to feel what she felt when I left her behind to do something dangerous. Likely it was a mixture of both.

    Part of me still didn¡¯t like how¡­attached I had become to Prevna. How I had come to expect her presence and found more comfort in it than stress as time passed. That still felt dangerous, like I was handing her all the tools to hurt me and it was a matter of time until she used them. But another part of me, one that had been growing, couldn¡¯t believe that this was the time she¡¯d stab me in the back. That she¡¯d abandon me completely. That eventuality belonged to some far-flung future we hadn¡¯t reached yet and maybe never would.

    I ended up sitting on the stairs leading up to the throne, facing away from it and trusting I¡¯d hear a thief if everyone else also happened to not be looking at the throne if an Envoy showed up. Instead I peered at the fire dancers and tried to decide if I recognized the dance they were stuck in. Anything at this point to keep the boredom at bay and to show Prevna I wasn¡¯t hopeless at keeping promises.

    She passed me on the stairs, eyes trained on the throne, and I had to close my eyes so my gaze wouldn¡¯t follow after her like a lost puppy, no matter how tempting it was to use the throne as an excuse. I knew the weight a stare could have and she had asked for space.

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

    I was independent and strong. I had lasted my whole life with only having myself to rely on, so I could survive another minute, another hour, eternity without her knowing smile or the way she leaned against me without thinking. I didn¡¯t need her endless teasing or her concern or the sensation of her hair running through my fingers.

    I was fine.

    Of course, I was. Without her pushing me to be social and all her other antics, I¡¯d have so much time¡ª

    Prevna gasped.

    I whipped around to find her sheepishly standing next to the throne, hand held out like she had just touched it for some idiotic reason, and our gazes met. I turned back around just as fast and glared at the melted stone beneath my feet. Cursing silently that she had caught me looking and that I couldn¡¯t glare at her for doing something stupid without feeling like I was breaking a taboo.

    I heard her walking toward me and, given how quiet I knew she could be when she wanted, I knew that was deliberate. I didn¡¯t move. I¡¯d never admit it, but part of me hoped that she might stop next to me, might say something, instead of passing me by. The stairs were even wide enough that she could lean against my back if she wanted.

    Her steps got closer and closer, and I hated the way my mouth dried out in anticipation. I was fine.

    Fine. And I didn¡¯t need¡ª

    A rustle of clothing and a familiar pressure pressed against my back. Down to our breast bands in the valleys¡¯ heat, we were also skin to skin and I couldn¡¯t myself to begrudge her the added heat even a little bit. Something in me loosened and settled as soon as I felt her weight against my back, and I knew she felt it too in the way my shoulders dropped as she leaned against me.

    I heard her smile in her voice, if a little strained, as she said, ¡°You can sit on your own there and I¡¯ll sit by myself right here.¡±

    I pressed back slightly against her. ¡°This is my spot.¡±

    Prevna sighed and let her head fall back against mine. ¡°Exactly.¡±

    The words were nearly identical to the time she had followed me to the lake in Grislander¡¯s Maw, but I didn¡¯t doubt that the sentiment behind them had changed more than I was comfortable examining.

    I felt Prevna lift her arm and I knew she was looking at her hand with an exasperated expression. She said, ¡°I touched it.¡±

    My thoughts on that crowded on the tip of my tongue but I knew accusing questions and harsh comments weren¡¯t going to get me any closer to what I wanted, so I made an acknowledging noise and let her continue to steer the conversation.

    ¡°It couldn¡¯t do anything, it just slipped around my marks, but the sucking sensation was awful.¡± Prevna let her hand drop. ¡°Is that what it feels like for you? When your blessing keeps you from dying?¡±

    I opened my mouth, closed it. It took me longer than it should have to answer her. ¡°Kind of. It¡¯s different every time, depending on the circumstances. But I¡¯ll feel the goddess¡¯s eye on me, only for Her gaze to shift and turn away right when I should have¡­died.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s horrible.¡±

    I shrugged.

    She tensed. ¡°Why even put yourself through that? What if you get stuck in a state you can¡¯t come back from? Why risk that?¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure I could put it into words but I tried. For her. ¡°It never mattered what state I was in. The tribe hated us for it, for the healing, but it was also true that if they needed help it didn¡¯t matter if we didn¡¯t feel well or if we were sleeping or anything else. They expected to be healed right then and there because they didn¡¯t want to spend longer in our presence than they had to and they had deigned to acknowledge us.

    ¡°And it always made sense that if I could do something, for me to just do it. If I know I won¡¯t die but someone else could, why wouldn¡¯t I just take care of it and reduce the risk of things getting messed up?¡±

    ¡°You getting hurt messes things up to.¡±

    ¡°Not as much as someone dying.¡±

    She made a noise of disagreement and muttered something else under her breath that I couldn¡¯t quite catch. Then she spoke louder, ¡°You¡¯re impossible, you know that?¡± Prevna had tried for a teasing tone, but her words felt like a knife blade slipping under my ribs as she continued, ¡°You¡¯re always running off into danger and even when there shouldn¡¯t be anything too threatening around you manage to trip onto a throne with a weird hunger that brought Malady, of all people, to her knees.¡±

    Tension surged back through my shoulders and down my back. Impossible. That was a good description of me. My feet felt light with the sudden desire to dart away. If I was not here, Prevna wouldn¡¯t be able to condemn me further, but I also didn¡¯t want to run away.

    ¡°Then you should go have fun with Jika and Wren and everyone else you don¡¯t have to worry about being impossible.¡±

    ¡°Storms! No!¡± Prevna twisted around and suddenly we were face to face. Somehow it felt like we were much closer than we had been before despite the fact that there was more air between us now. She muttered to herself again but I caught what she said this time. ¡°Why is it coming out all wrong again?¡±

    I drew in a deep breath and prompted, ¡°From one horror to another¡­¡±

    Her gaze didn¡¯t let mine go. ¡°From one horror to another, worrying about you is horrible. It feels like at any moment you¡¯re going to be frozen again but this time I won¡¯t be able to do anything. Not even something as small as banners to entice a sentient wind. From one horror to another, sometimes it feels like I¡¯m going to break from seeing how valuable you are and trying to make you see it, only for you to act like you¡¯re only a twig for the fire. Only valuable so long as you burn. From one horror to another, being left behind sucks and I want you trust me.¡±

    ¡°From one horror to another, I do trust you. More than anyone else.¡± The vulnerability tasted like ash on my tongue. But I had tried defensive manipulation in the past and I didn¡¯t want to be the fool who lost twice because I couldn¡¯t get past my instinctive response. ¡°Which is why it¡¯s easier for me to take the lead to make sure nothing happens to you. Or anyone else.¡±

    ¡°And it hurts me to see you hurt.¡± She pressed her forehead against mine. ¡°I¡¯m capable. I can take care of myself. Let me.¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡±

    ¡°If you get to throw yourself into danger because you can¡¯t help yourself, I get to follow. If you get to try to protect me because you don¡¯t want to see me hurt, I get to do the same. Trust me to take care of myself and I¡¯ll trust you to do the same.¡±

    ¡°And if something happens?¡±

    ¡°Then that¡¯s not on you or me. That¡¯s life.¡±

    I swallowed down all the denial bubbling in my chest, the knowledge that if something ever did happen to Prevna blame would be quick to follow, and I nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll try.¡±

    She gave me her knowing smile. ¡°Good.¡±

 Book 4 - Ch. 43: Unfinished Business

    The rest of our watch passed quietly. No sudden thieves in the night or surprise discoveries in the audience chamber as Prevna, Kuma, and Tike swapped stories about their various experiences living outside the traditional tribes. I listened in as I did an inventory check on everything in my pouches. It was all just as I remembered it. Meanwhile, Klus had decided four hands were better than two and he had stretched out between Kuma and Tike so they could both occasionally scratch his scales. However, since the crocodile was as close to the fire as he could be, without being in it, they had to be careful not to get burned by the flame. From what I had overheard, Klus would have made the fire his nighttime nest but Tike had dissuaded him from it so he could cook.

    Tike also ended up being my partner when it came for us to split up the night watch. He still had the tendency to run his mouth when he was nervous, but I got him on the topic of myths and unusual events happening around the inner valleys once we had settled closer to the throne so the others could sleep in peace. Then I let his words wash over me as I focused on our surroundings. He knew a surprising amount of interesting tales, but not more about Minhel, the mountain spirit said to trap men in living graves.

    By the time the sun brightened the fog surrounding the audience chamber he had quieted down. I wasn¡¯t sure if he had gotten more comfortable or if he just ran out of words, but I didn¡¯t ask.

    It didn¡¯t take long after the sun rose for Nine Claws, Malady, and Deamar to swap places with us. Deamar looked exhausted being dragged along with the whisper woman but it was better for him to learn how the world worked now than when he was at the Seedling Palace. I wasn¡¯t sure the lesson would actually sink in in time but that was also his problem, not mine.

    Our group gave Nine Claws and Malady our report that all was quiet before we headed back down the mountain to the villager waiting to ferry us back across the lake with his floating box. Prevna and I kept close to each other but we didn¡¯t speak much. There wasn¡¯t a lot to be said.

    She didn¡¯t want me to get hurt. That was a familiar concern, but it was odd that it wasn¡¯t driven by a different concern about reputation or how little I¡¯d be able to help while healing. Rawley and Fellen had cared in the same way as well, but it didn¡¯t seem like my blessing had been as much of liability in their eyes as it was to Prevna, except for the fact that it might make me have too much life.

    I had to uphold her trust. Something that should have been simple, but I knew that letting her put herself in as much danger as I did, especially if it was for my sake, wasn¡¯t something I¡¯d easily be able to swallow.

    I also had another choice waiting once we got back to the village. Return to the Night Cave immediately to make sure I didn¡¯t miss my chance or wait until after Mishtaw arrived? If I waited I might be more prepared to meet the dream entity again, but there was also the chance I could run out of time and not make it back to the Night Cave before the Dawn Crawler¡¯s grace period ended.

    Failing the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ first request of me didn¡¯t seem like much of an option. Doing so just because I ran out of time sounded idiotic.

    ¡°Tike.¡±

    He froze in the act of trying to hurry away from our group before he slowly turned to look back at me.

    I decided not to give him the option to back out either. ¡°Meet Prevna and me back here at our camp in an hour. We have some things we need to get ready but then we need you to lead us back to the Night Cave.¡±

    His eyes flew wide open. ¡°But¡­why?¡±

    I gave him a tight smile. ¡°Unfinished business.¡± He started to protest again so I cut him off, ¡°Just be ready.¡±

    He gave in then, clearly unhappy with going back to the dreaded cave, but I knew he¡¯d keep his word. As soon as Tike left to take care of whatever he had to do before we left again, Prevna rounded on me.

    ¡°Unfinished business?¡±

    I still hadn¡¯t told her about the nightmares. So I pulled her into one of the remaining tents at our commandeered campsite and caught her up from the first dream I had on the mountainside to the encounter in the cave.

    She rubbed her hands over her face. ¡°I¡¯d ask why you didn¡¯t tell me before but we both know why. Nothing spoke to me when we were in the cave. Why do you think you¡¯re being targeted?¡±

    I held out the stone Esie had given me. ¡°The favor the Lady of Calm Waters called in. Esie said that her ¡®friend¡¯ couldn¡¯t be found if she didn¡¯t want to be. The nightmares might be her way of giving me the chance to complete the favor.¡±

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    ¡°How would she know you were trying to find her though?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°Maybe they told her and this is all some test. But the entity in the dreams also isn¡¯t normal. She might have some other way to know about the stone.¡±

    Prevna leaned forward. ¡°What if it¡¯s not even the ¡®friend¡¯ you¡¯re looking for? It could be a trap or just the mountains playing tricks. They¡¯re known for nightmares.¡±

    ¡°Or maybe they¡¯re just known for that because the friend is here.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re going? No matter what?¡± she asked.

    I nodded.

    ¡°Then I¡¯m going to.¡±

    I nodded again. Not surprised in the least after the conversation we had the day before.

    Tike and Klus were prompt about returning, and we set off for the Night Cave after stopping at the springs for water.

    The Night Cave was just as we left it. Trees crowding away from its lightning strike shaped entrance and darkness waiting beyond in the cave mouth.

    Prevna and I both looked to Tike when we stopped just beyond the forest¡¯s edge. We both knew we¡¯d be going inside but it wasn¡¯t clear if he¡¯d be brave enough.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t sleep for a week after you went in there.¡± His fists clenched as he glanced back at the forest. ¡°It¡¯s also not smart to wait out here alone.¡±

    Prevna offered, ¡°You could go back to the village. We should be able to find our way back from here now.¡±

    He shook his head slowly. ¡°No, I can¡¯t do that. Not after the fire dancers.¡± Tike drew in a deep breath. ¡°I¡¯ll come with you.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Prevna pressed.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡± He kept his voice even, though I could see him trembling at the idea of entering the cave of the spirit that was rumored to bury men alive. Kluss hissed and Tike¡¯s posture gained a little more confidence.

    He started off in the front as we crossed the field in front of the cave¡¯s entrance but by time we reached it he had drifted to the middle between Prevna and me while Klus stumped along as close to him as the crocodile could without tripping him. I ended up in the front and I clenched the stone in one hand. Ready, even if another dream stole over us without us noticing.

    We turned the sharp corner further into the cave and I heard Tike slow as the darkness stole his sight. There was a rustle of movement and Prevna murmured something to him before she told me to keep going. When I glanced back I saw that they had swapped positions so Tike could put his hand on her shoulder as a guide. Perhaps we should have remembered that he wouldn¡¯t be able to see in the dark, but I also hadn¡¯t expected he¡¯d be brave enough to go inside the cave.

    We made it to the main chamber full of statues hanging from the ceiling and stars under foot without incident while I strained to notice the moment we slipped from being awake to asleep. But nothing seemed to change. Everything was quiet and still with only the different versions of death to keep us company.

    I took a step away from Prevna and Tike and held up the little stone. ¡°I¡¯ve come to complete a favor. To give you this stone from the Lady of Calm Waters.¡±

    ¡°What of your answer to my question?¡± The voice filled the chamber, sourceless. Grinding stone and rock hitting rock, like the whole cave was about to come crashing down on our heads.

    I glared up at the carved revelers enjoying their time in Silver Forest. ¡°I have it.¡±

    ¡°Do they?¡± And, just like that, the voice came from behind me. More wind and leaves rustling than rock this time.

    I whirled.

    Hands like tree roots pulled free of the earth encircled Prevna and Tike from their hips to their necks. They had been separated so they stood side by side and while Klus was blubbering something about how he wouldn¡¯t be any fun to bury, Prevna stared back at me, not moving. Klus was pinned under one shadowed foot, unable to thrash anything but his tail.

    Everything else about the entity that had caught them was impossible to make out despite my Dark Sight boon. It was tall, tall enough to tower over Prevna and Tike, but other than that it was like the spirit, if this was the earth spirit the villagers whispered about, was made of shadows.

    ¡°Perhaps I¡¯ll give them back if you all answer honestly.¡±

    Roots twists up out of the floor to wrap around their legs. I rushed forward¡ªand fell. Another root had slipped around my ankle and held tight. When I shoved myself up, a moment later, ready to rip my way free of the root, they were already gone.

    Prevna, Tike, and the crocodile.

    Disappeared in the second it took me to look up from my fall.

    ¡°What is this?¡± I growled at the entity.

    It now stood over me despite there being no indication of the movement. ¡°Did I not say to return when you were ready to face me?¡±

    ¡°I am. I have my answer.¡±

    ¡°My roots don¡¯t bind those that know their own bindings. Who know what they wish. What need then would they have to act as a reminder?¡±

    I glared up at the mass of shadows. ¡°I know my answer. What I strive for. Give them back.¡±

    The entity ignored me as it plucked up the stone I had dropped when I fell. ¡°Did she really tell you to return this to me?¡±

    The temptation to lie was there on the tip of my tongue but I couldn¡¯t risk Prevna, not after we had just reached a new understanding. ¡°Esie did. The Lady of Calm Water¡¯s retainer. She said the Lady would could consider it a favor paid if I found her friend in these mountains and gave her the stone. You fit the description.¡±

    The entity ran the point of one finger around the spiral within a spiral on the stone. ¡°I see.¡± The stone disappeared as easily as the others had. ¡°Then perhaps, in return for giving me such a nice gift, I can help you see where your answer still lacks.¡±

    ¡°I¡ª¡±

    My voice was cut off as uncomfortably familiar large hands wrapped around my throat and one fingertip pressed against my skin, drawing blood. Everything had gone dark and I could no longer see the entity in front of me.

    The voice like a rockfall came from right behind my ear. ¡°Watch and listen or you might never wake up. Perhaps you would like to keep me company for the years and years to come? Is that what you¡¯d like to strive for?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    The finger pulled away from my throat and I could only hope that Prevna and Tike weren¡¯t trapped like I was.

 Book 4 - Ch. 44: The Original Wish

    ¡°Let us start at the beginning so you can grasp the scope of what I am asking of you. Have you ever wondered how there was a world for the goddesses to wake to? How there were pines and suncrest vines, sun and sky and dirt when your stories give the sisters credit for the creation of all things other than the sea itself?¡±

    Out of the darkness pine trees, suncrest vines hanging off their branches, rose to encircle a small disk of land full of tall yellow grass and the more scrubby green grass I was used to. The Grove, where the goddesses first woke, according to every myth ever told. There was nothing before it and everything after.

    The entity didn¡¯t wait for me to answer as she kept on with her one sided lesson. ¡°The void, the world, whatever word you might like to call it, wished for something to fill itself with. It ached with such strength, such desperation, that it tore pieces of itself off and formed the Grove. But the plants and the sky and the endless waters surrounding all were not enough. Nothing could see the world, shape it as it did, give the void the definition it craved. To the darkness all the things it had created might as well have been more darkness, if differently shaped.

    ¡°The world wished for more. And if scraps weren¡¯t enough than it would tear itself apart for its wish. It nearly tore itself asunder with the great handfuls it took from itself next as it willed awareness to spark in its newest creations. This time the spark caught and burned into twin infernos, only truly comparable to the world that made them.¡±

    The silhouettes of two girls appeared in the Grove, identical in every way and completely defying description. I couldn¡¯t decide if it was they truly did change from one moment to next or they¡­embodied too many shapes and sizes and features at the same time that I couldn¡¯t categorize them. Looking at them hurt my mind though it didn¡¯t last for long as the silhouettes morphed into what I knew the goddesses looked like.

    Short in stature but with a dominating presence, dark blue skin and hair like a night sky, Heliquat looked out of the Grove towards us. Despite the realistic image I knew it wasn¡¯t the goddess Herself from the lack of weight behind her gaze. Azabel stood next to her, taller and full figured with pastel colors covering her skin and antlers crowning the top of her head. Seeing them together added to sense that I was watching not real. They were never depicted together that I knew of, especially not after Azabel¡¯s betrayal of creating humanity.

    ¡°They settled into their preferred forms and answered the call of the wish that made them. The sisters took what the world had already created and molded it, used those creations as inspiration for their own and expanded their territories.¡± The entity¡¯s rootlike fingers curled tight around me. ¡°The more they created the more they understood. They discovered their own strengths and weaknesses and curiosities. They discovered what bound them and their wishes became all the stronger for it.¡±

    Mountains and great plains, plants and animals appeared before me as if they gave the goddesses no more trouble than the time it took to think them up. For all the entity¡¯s words I didn¡¯t see them struggling with much of anything.

    Still, she continued, ¡°Then they created the Lady Blue and your people, and they realized they weren¡¯t alone in their ability call upon the power of wishes. The world was still everywhere with power to spare despite all it had given them. Perhaps not enough to create another goddess, but enough to answer a true wish here and there, especially when the power would return upon the wish being fulfilled.¡±

    The entity paused as if she expected a comment or a question. I kept my silence. She had her tale she wanted to tell and while I¡ªreluctantly¡ªfound it fascinating, I was also trying to come up with an answer she would find acceptable. I had already given her the stone and I refused to stay asleep for eternity.

    Nor did I really understand why she cared. Why lay out this explanation for me? Why insist I learn what bound me? If the village men were to believed she was a mountain spirit, and, even if she was something more than that, it didn¡¯t make sense why she would fixate on me even before I pulled out the stone.

    Her tone took on a nostalgic tone. ¡°Was that not how I came to be? At first.¡± The entity¡¯s voice shifted suddenly to something more hostile and dangerous. The points of her fingers pricked my belly. ¡°They wished to hoard all the possibilities. Make it so only they could affect the world in any meaningful way. The sisters gave their own gifts and wishes have been forgotten.¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

    The image before me swirled before resolving into the goddesses, Heliquat perched on a towering pine and Azabel on top of a mountain, high above an massive crowd of kneeling to them. Praising them and wondering at their power.

    Then the scene was swallowed by the black void surrounding us.

    ¡°But the world is infinite and the sisters are not. Know what binds you, wish for that which you cannot have on your own and what you would tear apart your soul for, and why should the world not answer? We all have the spark.¡±

    Finally, I spoke, ¡°I never said I wanted to wish for anything.¡±

    The entity spun me so that I faced her and, where there had only been shadows before, her face stood out in stark contrast against the void. She looked like the old woman I had seen in my visions during the Dark Sight trial. Covered in scars but not broken. Never broken.

    Instinctively, I knew it wasn¡¯t the entity¡¯s true face but she spoke with the old woman¡¯s lips and tongue anyways. ¡°You are always wishing.¡±

    I glared back at her and didn¡¯t rise to the argument she seemed to be baiting. She spun me around again and a new image rose in the dark.

    My memory tent. Not the real healer¡¯s tent full of her presence and demands, but the one held every last memory of every plant, tincture, salve and other component of healing I had ever learned. The one with the sack stuffed full of memories of Prevna I refused to look at too closely. The one that held reminders of all the myths and the legends I had heard over the years, the poisons Rawley had taught me, the lessons from the Seedling Palace.

    Each and every thing I never wanted to forget.

    The entity repeated her assertion, ¡°You are always wishing. But it is undefined. Weak. You don¡¯t know what you are reaching for.¡±

    I gave the answer I had decided on since before we stepped into this cursed cave a second time. ¡°I want the power and authority that comes with being a full whisper woman.¡±

    She scoffed. ¡°Perhaps. But why?¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to admit that to some entity that thought she could manipulate me just because she could force her way into my dreams. ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°So you would be satisfied if you were seen as powerful authority figure? Someone with influence simply because they completed tests that hundreds of other women have passed? You wouldn¡¯t wish for more if there were still murmurs about your background and eligibility to be a whisper woman? You wouldn¡¯t try to spite them all because there was still something missing?¡±

    I opened my mouth, closed it. Tried again but still couldn¡¯t quite find the words to curse her or defend myself or demand that she get to her point already.

    The entity continued to press me, ¡°No? Then think. What do you think comes with power and authority? What does a good tribe leader, Pack Leader, and Grandmother all have in common with whisper women? How are they viewed? What do you want?¡±

    They were all looked to for their skill, their expertise in their particular field. Others looked to them for direction, even if that was only how least inconvenience them when it came to how the tribes interacted with whisper women. They were feared, res¡ª

    Respected.

    That was something I had never had. Not with healer¡¯s beads in my hair or when Fellen and I had survived Flickermark or when I killed the water snake or any other occasion. Everything always came with caveat. How impressive, but what if she has too much life or she¡¯s too young or it must have been luck. If it wasn¡¯t that, then it was the fact that my tongue or actions had done me no favors so I was too disliked to be respected.

    Even if I craved it.

    People who were respected could hold their head up high with shame or fear. They weren¡¯t constantly questioned and judged and found lacking. Others didn¡¯t see those they respected as less than them.

    ¡°Good.¡± The entity brushed a gentle finger over my cheek. ¡°You begin to understand, don¡¯t you? But a wish needs to be specific, strong, measurable. Something the world can grasp ahold of and act upon.¡±

    My desperate thoughts stopped in their tracks.

    Why should I give this entity what it wanted? Why should I take the risk at possibly setting myself up against the goddess through using some kind of power that She might have hidden away? Why help this entity when she couldn¡¯t even let my thoughts be my own?

    I had delivered the stone. My thoughts had obviously provided an answer she liked, and I did not need waste time here when the others might still be trapped.

    I repeated my realization aloud in case that was a loophole the entity was exploiting. ¡°I¡¯m bound by my desire for respect.¡±

    ¡°Yes, and now¡ª¡±

    ¡°And now you will let me and the others go since I¡¯ve given you my answer. That was the deal¡ªand if you don¡¯t, by the storms, I swear my only wish I will strive for is to make it so you never existed.¡±

    Frustratingly, I could still hear the smile in her rock fall of a voice as she answered, ¡°A mighty wish, indeed. But what you say is true: my question now has an answer that isn''t completely lacking. Perhaps, if we speak again, you will have a better understanding and more patience then. Wake and, if the others can do the same, they will join you.¡±

    My eyes snapped open to see the statues of the Silver Forest overhead. I cursed and shot to my feet only to hear a crocodile hiss. Klus glowered up at me from where he lay a few feet away. The chamber was empty besides us and the statues. Tike and Prevna were still in the entity¡¯s clutches. I cursed more strongly and promised myself that I wouldn¡¯t enter this stupid cave ever again.

 Notice about Book 4 - Ch. 45

    Happy Holidays! I hope you all are enjoying the end of the year. I want to thank you for reading PotWW and letting me know your thoughts in the comments.

    Unfortunately, I am not going to get the chapter out tonight but I will have it out tomorrow. Between the holidays and getting sick I wasn¡¯t able to spend the time needed to get the chapter done like I expected. I know the delays have been happening more lately, which I truly don¡¯t like, so my goal with the New Year is to make sure all future chapters come out when they are supposed to and finally complete the glossary to help you all keep track of the characters and other story details.

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Thanks for your patience and interest, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story in the year to come!

 Book 4 - Ch. 45: Dreamers Remorse

    It took entirely too long for Prevna and Tike to reappear in the cave. Long enough that I let the crocodile curl his bulk around me like he would do with Tike. Prevna appeared first. Between one blink and the next¡ªthough it felt like I had dozed off and was suddenly jolted awake by her groaning on the floor in front of me. As if I could sleep in situation like this.

    Klus and I both rushed up to her as she sat up. I asked, ¡°Are you alright? Did she hurt you?¡±

    Prevna shook her head. ¡°No, the spirit was just insistent with her questions.¡± She tried for a small smile. ¡°With how many she had, I had to stay a little longer to make sure she wasn¡¯t an elder who had wandered off and gotten confused.¡±

    The tension knotting its way through my shoulders tightened. ¡°Prevna.¡±

    Prevna chuckled. ¡°It¡¯s fine. I think she was amused.¡± She glanced around. ¡°Where¡¯s Tike?¡±

    ¡°Not here. She still has him.¡±

    Prenva groaned and Klus curled up around her. I ignored the crocodile¡¯s instant change of loyalties in favor of figuring out what we needed to do next. A large part of me was tempted to take Prevna and leave the cave. Now. Without a second thought about Klus or Tike or the entity.

    But I knew the crocodile wouldn¡¯t budge without his master and Prevna wasn¡¯t likely to leave Tike behind either. Not after he had helped us and braved this stupid cave when he didn¡¯t need to.

    And I couldn¡¯t leave her behind. So we sat on the floor dotted with stars while we tried not to think about the tale Tike had told us about the mountain spirit that buried men alive. There was nowhere to bury him in the cave and this entity seemed to deal more in dreams and wishes than living graves, but that didn¡¯t mean she couldn¡¯t have a hand in both options. After all, myths always had their grains of truth and there didn¡¯t seem to be multiple long limbed women making their home in the inner valleys.

    ¡°Will you stay awake after this again?¡±

    ¡°Not for days on end.¡± It hadn¡¯t helped anything the last time and I didn¡¯t want to repeat past mistakes. That had always been one of the worst kinds of weakness. Besides, the entity¡¯s ability to make us fall asleep without realizing it seemed tied to the cave as she had only invaded me dreams elsewhere in the valleys rather than inducing them.

    That made me want to leave the cave just to be sure this also wasn¡¯t some elaborate dream the entity had concocted. The shadows were no longer the impenetrable darkness they had been during the previous dreams, but I wouldn¡¯t have put it past the entity to be able to make her dreams resemble reality, even one that took into account the effect of the Dark Sight boon.

    Prevna noticed my restlessness. ¡°Go check outside. I¡¯ll stay here in case Tike appears.¡±

    She didn¡¯t bother trying to make me wait in the cave and I didn¡¯t try to make her leave with me. We both knew it¡¯d be a waste of breath. Still, I hesitated after I got to my feet. Leaving felt a bit like abandoning her to the spirit¡¯s clutches.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine,¡± Prevna insisted.

    I had no choice but to trust her.

    The day had somehow gotten late since we had arrived at the Night Cave. No doubt our absence had been noticed by now in the village, though I hoped that didn¡¯t cause the same uproar that our previous delayed return to the village had. Shuffling down the passage to the Dawn Crawler¡¯s lair once had been more than enough, nor did I want the beast to decide it was best to shorten the grace period. There was the chance Mishtaw would need our help for something more once she was able to see the throne herself.

    There weren¡¯t any odd shadows among the trees surrounding the patch of grass in front of the Night Cave. I could taste the dampness in the air from the fog, hear the leaves rustling, smell the surrounding forest though it lacked the scent of pine I was used to. Nothing like the staleness that could happen in dreams.

    Stepping back into the Night Cave felt like willing stepping into a nightmare. Like walking down the path to the main chamber would give the entity permission to pull me into another dream whether I wanted it or not and I wouldn¡¯t know it until those rootlike hands wrapped around me.

    But nothing happened. I entered the main chamber and found Prevna and Klus exactly where they had been. Prevna was focused on the myriad of statues enjoying their time in the Silver Forest while Klus kept as curled up around her as he could. I followed her gaze up to a man who had his hand out to pull a fox tail off the belt of a woman who was midspin, apparently dancing with abandon like the Silver Forest was a Heartsong Festival than never ended.

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    When I looked back down, slightly dizzy again with the sense I had just been jolted awake, Tike was standing in front of Prevna. He didn¡¯t groan like Prevna had, and, for a moment, I questioned if it was really him. His¡­stance was all wrong. Chest puffed out, head held high, confident. Or proud. More brutish than he got when he knew a good path through the valley and was sure it would help us circle around something unpleasant. Almost like he was geared up for a fight.

    Then he seemed to collapse in on himself and he was back to the nervous, word vomiting Tike I knew. He started to shake before he collapsed to his knees. Prevna and Klus rushed over to him to make sure he was fine while I was still trying to decide if that change I had seen was real or not.

    ¡°I never should have come in with you. Everyone just disappeared! And then there was this disembodied voice that kept asking me questions and I was sure that I going to get¡ª¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± Prevna gently pulled him to his feet. ¡°We can go over what happened when we¡¯re not in this cave.¡±

    We left.

    It took a bit for Tike to compose himself and talk about something other than the roots he was sure were trying to drag him to his doom but, when he did, he led us back to the village. We got there as the setting sun started to turn the fog orange and gold as if the whole sky had been set on fire.

    Kuma looked up from where she was sitting by a small fire in our little campsite and smiled. She waved for us to join her before she whistled loud enough that I was surprised the mountains didn¡¯t echo it back to us.

    ¡°Told them I¡¯d whistle if I saw you.¡±

    A group of men rushed over to where we were settling in, including Tike. It seemed like after our ordeal he wasn¡¯t quite ready to disappear off on his own somewhere. Logar was leading the group of men and he stopped short at the sight of us relaxing by the fire as if we had never left.

    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have left the village,¡± he said.

    I had no height to match his, no true authority as a whisper woman, no good reason that I cared to share with him for why we had left. I did have my glare, black lips, and the knowledge that no matter what happened I would outlast him. He might have had half the authority of the village and been the more reasonable leader, but I was throughly tired of being questioned and pressured by others.

    I stepped outside of Prevna¡¯s reach so she couldn¡¯t try to calm me down without being obvious about it before I glowered up at Logar. ¡°We had business.¡±

    ¡°You¡ª¡±

    ¡°We. Had. Business,¡± I repeated as I cut off the village leader.

    I knew this wasn¡¯t the best way to handle the situation. That to begin with I should have put at least a token effort into informing Logar and Morn that we would be leaving to take care of something even if they didn¡¯t want us tromping all over their valley after things with the fire dancers had gone poorly. I could have Nine Claws know about my secondary mission and have her put the pressure on the villagers to let me complete it.

    But I hadn¡¯t wanted to share it. Delivering the stone had been something private between Esie, the Lady of Calm Waters, and me. I doubted they wanted me blabbing her business to everyone we met. Nor did I want to explain myself to everyone either.

    The villagers at Logar¡¯s back looked more than ready to punch me in the mouth for daring to be ruse to their leader. Which was hardly surprising given that what I was doing was likely one of the things that had driven them from the wider territory in the first place.

    A hand clasped my shoulder and pulled me backwards. Using the same motion, Prevna stepped smoothly in front of me. ¡°Sorry about that. Sometimes she forgets how to be civil. We¡¯re fine, thank you for your concern. Tike had mentioned the Night Cave and we insisted that he show it to us.¡±

    The men shrank back once they heard ¡®the Night Cave¡¯ and whispers cropped up. Logar frowned as his gaze swept back and forth between his men and us. ¡°The Night Cave? You shouldn¡¯t go there again. It¡¯s known to be dangerous.¡±

    Prevna nodded. ¡°We won¡¯t. It wasn¡¯t what we expected.¡±

    ¡°Tike,¡± Logar summoned the younger man. ¡°Bring Klus and join me. We need to go some things with you.¡±

    Tike cringed with regret but he didn¡¯t try to make excuses and wriggle his way out of what was likely to be at least a lecture. If nothing else, that made him better than Deamar to me, though I doubted he¡¯d appreciate the ranking.

    They left without another word, likely to stop a fight from breaking out, and I knew that if Nine Claws or Malady heard about the incident I¡¯d be in for a lecture of my own.

    ¡°Mishtaw isn¡¯t going to be pleased if you make it impossible for her to take care of the throne without fighting the locals,¡± Prevna said.

    That was true too.

    ¡°He didn¡¯t need to know about what we doing.¡±

    ¡°No, but that doesn¡¯t mean you needed to be rude about it. And if something did happen while we were supposed to be at the village, you know that Nine Claws and Malady would hold them responsible for that.¡±

    I sighed and sat back down, glaring into the fire. Not quite willing to admit that I knew she was right.

    Prevna settled next to me and bump her shoulder against mine. ¡°Do you need help practicing how to smile? I could teach you if you want. You just go like this and this¡­¡±

    The night devolved into round after round of Prevna teasing me while Kuma kept her peace on her side of the fire. I cut back with my own sarcastic remark or two but I never let my tongue slip and say the things I knew would truly get Prevna to stop. We needed the reprieve from all the stress we had been under ever since we set foot on the Broken Spear Peaks¡ªand, I think, we both knew that if we let the silence stretched too long we¡¯d be tempted to see if the other had made a wish like the entity had so clearly wanted. We¡¯d want to know the answers the other had given to the spirit and whisper about wishes.

    All things that could strain our newly repaired friendship. All things that could draw the goddess¡¯s ire if She had truly done Her best to stamp out knowledge of wishes, and those were things neither of us were ready to deal with. So we joked about any and everything other than what had happened in the Night Cave, and pretended that we knew that the spirit wouldn¡¯t invade our dreams again.

 Book 4 - Ch. 46: Relic Seekers Arrival

    We met Mishtaw and Creed where we had camped on the mountainside after meeting Tike. Our whole group we had trekked into the inner valleys had come along, including Gard and Colt since they no longer felt comfortable staying in the village on their own. Apparently, since the Dawn Crawler had set down its judgments and the villagers were reluctant to openly oppose the creature they had redirected their ire onto the Pickers.

    There was another whisper woman and fire starter with Mishtaw that I didn¡¯t recognize. I overheard that they were there to escort the Pickers to where the Picker bands had been gathered up and were being watched by Jin¡¯s people. At this point if they were found wandering the mountainside they were likely to be treated as troublesome runaways, at best, or as secret death bringers, at worse. The Red Hand, Jika¡¯s band, had been found and brought to the enforced camp.

    Jika had recovered from her time under my experimental drink but I wasn¡¯t clear on if she and Kuma were returning to their band with Gard and Colt or if they wanted to keep their freedom for a bit longer. Nor had I quite figured out the best time to talk with her about what had happened. I regretted what the drink had done to her, but I didn¡¯t regret trying to keep her alive and I wasn¡¯t sure I could have made that happen without the energy it had given her.

    It wouldn¡¯t be difficult to figure out if she was staying or going. I could have asked her or asked Prevna, but if I was honest, I knew I had put it off so that if Jika did leave before I faced her I could blame the fact that she left for why I had never gotten the chance to speak with her. That it had happened unexpectedly and I couldn¡¯t be responsible for knowing her schedule.

    A weak excuse that made my teeth grind together, but I didn¡¯t have the words. Couldn¡¯t hold my head up high and say I was completely right nor swallow my pride and admit that I was sorry, when that implied I had been wrong and that wasn¡¯t completely true either.

    Nor was I sure that I wanted to know what Jika¡¯s reaction to me would be. Would she look at me with even more discomfort and fear than she had in the beginning? Would she shrug it off and say I had done what I could? Or would she blame herself for staying with me at Steamer¡¯s Fall when she shouldn¡¯t have?

    I didn¡¯t like any of the options and it had been easy to avoid her as she had been mostly keeping to the tent she was recovering in. On our journey up to the meeting point she had also kept separated from me as much as she could.

    Perhaps that was the answer in and of itself.

    The villagers didn¡¯t bother trying to blindfold us on our way back to the mountainside. At least they were smart enough to realize that it hadn¡¯t worked to hide their village¡¯s location from us the first time, especially when after we were given free rein to explore the inner valleys. But it might have been smarter if they had realized that using a landmark, like the river of molten rock, to travel would have also given away their location in the first place.

    Our trip up from the river to the meeting place was shorter than it had been the first time which was a nice bonus from their lack of stealth.

    The villagers that had escorted us didn¡¯t know what to think about Creed. When they first noticed a second person in the fog they¡¯d been irritated, but when they caught sight of Creed¡¯s large, muscled bound frame they¡¯d been shocked. Followed quickly by a mixture of anger and horror when they realized he deferred to Mishtaw.

    For my part, I didn¡¯t like the new bruises and bandages I could see poking out from their clothes. It made my fingers itch. They were both capable fighters and it was rare that I saw either one injured, let alone both. Which meant either the murdering fanatics were more skilled than the Lady Blue¡¯s fish or Jin was using them for the more dangerous missions. Possibly both. Nor would I have put it past Jin to make dangerous missions even worse with bad supplies or information. Not when she thought she was doing what needed to enforce the goddess¡¯s rule and the commander wasn¡¯t here to keep her in check. I was sure Mishtaw and I were on her list of what needed to be fixed in the sects and she fixed things by breaking them.

    Mishtaw clasped Nine Claws¡¯s forearm while Malady and Creed exchanged nods.

    My mentor said, ¡°Thank you for minding the troublemakers. Hopefully they didn¡¯t make the search too troublesome.¡±

    ¡°A few hiccups here and there, but nothing we couldn¡¯t handle,¡± replied Nine Claws.

    It was a show for all of us gathered around them. No doubt Mishtaw already knew all about how our time in the inner valleys had gone down to the last gritty detail from speaking with Nine Claws on the wind. The only thing she might not know about was what happened in the Night Cave.

    When we had seen Nine Claws later after returning to village I wasn¡¯t surprised to learn that one of her cats had followed us to the cave and she had warned me not to keep taking unnecessary risks. But the warning had more framed around going places I shouldn¡¯t rather than spirits, dreams, and wishes.

    The whisper women worked together seamlessly to show the villagers a front of unflappable strength as they traded stories about what had been going on during the purge and the highlights of our time in the inner valleys. Fighting, killing, finding hidden relics and lakes of fire were nothing to the women who served as the goddess¡¯s eyes and hands.

    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    Then it came it came time for the Pickers to stop standing awkwardly to the side and say goodbye so the whisper woman that was waiting in the background could stop wasting her time.

    That was when I learned that while Jika was going with Kuma and the others to see her family she had extracted a promise from Nine Claws that she could join the village boys when they were going to be taken to the Seedling Palace for the Trial of Fog or Snow. If she proved herself she could become a fire starter.

    I watched her take a deep breath out of the corner of my eye before she approached me. It made me want to scowl but I kept my expression neutral so I could at least hear her out without scaring her away.

    ¡°I¡¯ll never drink something you make ever again but you were right. In Steamer¡¯s Fall.¡± Jika looked me right in the eye. ¡°I¡¯m not going to stay here, pining. Not when I have a chance to go where other Pickers can only dream about.¡±

    I gave her a nod of acknowledgment even as I berated myself for ever pushing her to go beyond the Cut. If I hadn¡¯t I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about her somehow worming her way close to Prevna in the Seedling Palace.

    I also offered her the closest thing to an apology that I could get. ¡°I won¡¯t make you drink anything untested in the future either.¡±

    There was an awkward moment as we both tried to decide if we had anything else to say before Jika left to go say her parting words to Prevna. Kuma accosted me before I could listen in on what they had to say to each other.

    The large woman thumped me on the shoulder. ¡°Everything¡¯s going back to normal, see?¡±

    I had to struggle not to point out that her people were being held in a camp, that Jika was planning on leaving for the Seedling Palace, that multiple members of her band had died since we first met them. I wasn¡¯t sure how she could say anything was normal, but I was trying to be civil and not say the first difficult thing that sprung onto my tongue.

    Still, she must have seen the conflict on my face because she shrugged and added, ¡°Family always finds its way back together and we continue on. That¡¯s how it should be.¡±

    I would be more than happy to never find my way back to my family unless it was to make sure they knew they were nothing to me.

    Kuma nodded like I had said something and kept going with the one-sided conversation. ¡°Well, you know where to find me. I won¡¯t forget that you took that knife for me, so if you ever need help with somethin¡¯ let me know what I can do to return the favor.¡±

    I nodded back and she thumped me on the shoulder again before leaving. Gard and Colt didn¡¯t bother with coming over to me to say goodbye and I didn¡¯t cross the group to bring the conversation to them either. Given that we had never gone out of our way to speak to each other, the ending of our acquaintance was just a reflection on the fact we had only spent time in each other¡¯s company due to forced circumstances.

    I didn¡¯t miss the moment that Mishtaw gestured for me to approach her. Nine Claws and her had slipped from their show conversation to one with more substance while everyone else was distracted with the Pickers leaving.

    Prevna stepped up beside me in front of Mishtaw, summoned with her own gesture. Mishtaw gave us the once over with a critical eye before she sighed. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be surprised that I have less than a week to analyze the new relic.¡±

    Prevna elbowed me gently in the side. ¡°Just her. The Dawn Crawler didn¡¯t kick out anyone else.¡±

    Mishtaw shook her head, ¡°And how do you think the locals will take to us sticking around their valley when they have her deadline in mind? We can force the issue, but it¡¯s best not to if I want to have an easier time when I need to check on the relic in the future.¡±

    We nodded and she continued, ¡°Give me your summaries of what¡¯s happened since we last saw each other. We can go into details when we¡¯re no surrounded by others.¡±

    Prevna and I did as we were told. It was best not to get in Mishtaw¡¯s way when she was in business mode and right now it seemed she was focused on making sure that all her facts were lined up and there wasn¡¯t anything important missing because someone didn¡¯t think it was important to mention.

    Once she got our testimonies Mishtaw gave us a tight smile. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re alright.¡± She tilted her head toward Creed. ¡°Go see the big lug.¡±

    Creed clasped us on the shoulders with enough strength that it put Kuma¡¯s thumps to shame. ¡°You¡¯ve done good. Mishtaw might not say it outright, but finding that relic was important. Especially with Jin delaying us.¡±

    Prevna frowned, ¡°What about Petra and Eliss? Where are they?¡±

    Creed¡¯s face pinched before he covered it with a smile. ¡°Back with the Peacekeeper task force. Jin couldn¡¯t deny the Relic Seeker from doing her duty when there¡¯s a newly discovered relic but she could keep a Peacekeeper and her fire starter on call when hands are short and the task force is their sect¡¯s responsibility.¡±

    ¡°Are they alright?¡±

    ¡°As well as they can. Death bringers might be heretics but killing them can turn the stomach more than the fish. Still people in the end.¡± He glanced back where the mountainside was obscured by the fog before he changed topics. ¡°This fog sure is different with something to counter its effects.¡±

    I gathered that they had taken the mixture that Malady had learned from the Pickers before they entered the fog this time, so they only had a day or so before they would need to protect themselves from the fog again but, one way or another, I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if they were given some of the villager¡¯s resistance drink before the day was over.

    Creed and Prevna chatted about lighter topics for a bit until Mishtaw signaled that we¡¯d be moving on. The plan was that first she would meet with the village leaders at the village in a show of good faith before Logar and Morn would guide her and the rest of us back up to the audience chamber like they had when we first saw it. In the meantime, Deamar and Tike were watching over the throne so that all of us could be here to greet Mishtaw. They might not be whisper women or even fire starters, but having someone there was better than no one was the thinking.

    I had volunteered to keep watch over the throne like we had before so that there wasn¡¯t last minute stealing attempts like there had been with harp, but Nine Claws had decided that it was better to show a united front by having us all greet Mishtaw and regain some of the village¡¯s goodwill by trusting them to watch over the throne like they had been doing for years.

    I wasn¡¯t sure if Tike and Deamar were the best choices to take over the watch on their own, but I wasn¡¯t a fully fledged whisper woman and Nine Claws was. She got the final call, though she also mentioned that a good portion of her spectral cats were watching as well where the boys couldn¡¯t see.

 Book 4 - Ch. 47: When One Crumbles...

    Mishtaw¡¯s meeting with Logar and Morn in the village was about as short as it could be. The village leaders didn¡¯t want the meeting to go long in case the villagers¡¯ antagonism towards women lead to something they couldn¡¯t recover from and Mishtaw did the meet more for formality¡¯s sake than anything else, from what I could tell. Though I doubted she was all that thrilled to see all the cut trees, too. There was something inherently wrong about those. And there was the fact that a whole region had been punished when a single was burned¡ªthat wasn¡¯t something easily forgotten even if the same rules didn¡¯t apply in the inner valleys.

    I could tell Mishtaw was interested by the floating boxes though. They were unique enough from anything we ever used and the fact that they didn¡¯t burn despite sitting lava likely made them similar to what had drawn her to relics in the first place. Things that stood outside common knowledge and that had secrets waiting to be uncovered. Even if the floating boxes¡¯ secret was just that the men had access to special kind of wood and they didn¡¯t need to worry that making use of it would make a goddess mad.

    We were about halfway across the massive lake of molten rock when Nine Claws jolted on the edge of my vision. The next moment she was speaking quickly with Malady and Mishtaw while Creed shifted so no one would be able to read their lips.

    Prevna and I shared a glance, but given that we weren¡¯t being beckoned over it wasn¡¯t likely we would be filled in right away. I was still tempted to try to slip over to hear what was going on, and I could tell Prevna was too, but there wasn¡¯t exactly a good place to sneak past Creed¡¯s eye line on the floating box.

    Prevna still tried to go for it. She was the more experienced light foot between the two of us, but Creed noticed her drifting closer right away. He tapped the massive spear hanging against his back and Prevna made her way back to me as if she hadn¡¯t done anything wrong. Still, that tap meant we were likely in for a sparring session once Creed had a spare moment. He seemed to think that if you were willing to take a risk then you were willing to get into a fight¡ªand if you got caught doing something you shouldn¡¯t then a fight was the natural consequence of failure.

    I wasn¡¯t looking forward to it. Creed had a lot to teach when it came to fighting with a spear but he never went easy during our consequence fights. Prevna and I had never beat him even when he took both of us on at once. Normally, he had us flat on our backs in a matter of seconds and we¡¯d have bruises to match. It was¡­somewhat infuriating that no matter what else I had accomplished my skill never seemed to match up his despite the years I had since first holding a spear as Rawley¡¯s apprentice.

    I knew I wasn¡¯t the most talented when it came to weapons fighting or fighting in general. That fell to Breck in our cohort without question, but it also grated to be reminded of my shortcomings when I was still figuring out how to use my strengths in ways that weren¡¯t related to healing.

    Prevna practically pressed her side against mine so she could whisper without being overheard. ¡°What do you think that was about?¡±

    I forced my mind to focus on her words and not anything else. ¡°The throne? Do you think Tike and Deamar messed something up?¡±

    Prevna shrugged one shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s possible, but there didn¡¯t seem to be anything they could mess up when we were keeping watch. Unless they managed to break the fire dancers.¡±

    I hoped that wasn¡¯t it. Despite the creepy duality between what they had been like when JIka and I had hidden from them in Steamer¡¯s Fall and how they were in the audience chamber, there was a part of me that didn¡¯t want to see them ruined.

    ¡°Do you think it¡¯s another Envoy?¡±

    She frowned. ¡°I hope not.¡±

    I had to agree with her. There was another fight I didn¡¯t want to participate in. I had barely scrapped through the last fight with an Envoy. They didn¡¯t have the same restrictions against killing as we did and with all the artificial boosts they got from the jewelry they wore it was hardly like facing another human. We might have our boons and blessings, but most didn¡¯t help with ending a fight in a decisive, nonlethal manner. Which was fine when it came to the Lady Blue¡¯s monsters, where the restriction didn¡¯t apply, and was absolutely a disadvantage when it came to anyone else. Even with the death bringers only the Peacekeepers got the restriction lifted, so we had been at a disadvantage when they came after us.

    But the goddess had Her domains and it common sense not to do anything that might make Her think you were trying to usurp Her authority. And that was also ignoring the fact that She was notoriously finicky about anything that had to do with Her sister, which the Envoys certainly fell under. Best to just keep things simple for now and hope that there wasn¡¯t another Envoy trying to carry away an entire throne at the moment.

    We watched as Logar was pulled into the whisper women¡¯s hushed council. He had come to guide us up to the audience chamber even though practically all of us knew the way. Another thing for formality¡¯s sake. At least with his involvement we knew whatever was going on had to do with the inner valleys and not an unexpected development elsewhere.

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    Nine Claws had decent number of her cats watching the audience chamber and the area surrounding it, I was sure of that. If something was happening it likely was there and one of her cats had notified her of it like they had when they spotted the monster and rats hunting us when we first entered the valleys.

    Logar was sent back out of the group looking more troubled than he ever had. That was when Creed finally motioned us over. Prevna and I slipped past the few villagers that had been brought along with Logar and into the space Mishtaw, Nine Claws, and Malady opened up for us.

    Nine Claws spoke first, ¡°The Dawn Crawler is spewing lava on the fire dancers in the audience chamber. Logar insists that this has never happened before and he doesn¡¯t know why the creature would change its ways now. Except for us. Have you done anything?¡±

    Insisting I hadn¡¯t would have been easy. Except that Logar knew we had been to the Night Cave, even if I wasn¡¯t sure if Tike would have told him much more than that. Tike caved easily under pressure, but I doubted he wanted everyone in the village to know he had been in the clutches of their terrible mountain spirit and gotten away. Just like I doubted they would have been so fine with him watching over the throne if they had known.

    Nor did I see how giving the entity the stone would result in the other great entity in the valleys, the lizard, going crazy with the fire dancers. Her unwelcome dreams and insistent questions about wishes didn¡¯t seem to have much in common with this new situation either, but I knew I hadn¡¯t done anything else that was likely to cause trouble. My grace period wasn¡¯t even up.

    I decided to hedge my bets. ¡°We went to the Night Cave after we took our watch on the throne.¡±

    Mishtaw crossed her arms. ¡°The village leader mentioned that. He said it was dangerous and best to be avoided, but from what I hear this would your second time going to the Night Cave.¡±

    Prevna took the lead, ¡°There¡¯s all these carvings with different representations of death. It¡¯s crazy, but you¡¯d probably like it, Mishtaw.¡±

    I saw the flicker of interest in my mentor¡¯s eyes but she had gotten to know us well enough over the years that she was better than I would like at telling when we were trying to avoid telling the whole story.

    ¡°And?¡± Mishtaw pressed.

    Malady broke into our interrogation unexpectedly, eyes narrowed, though it wasn¡¯t to help us. ¡°You mentioned you went there before trying to fulfill a favor for the Lady of Calm Waters.¡±

    ¡°What favor?¡± Mishtaw definitely wasn¡¯t pleased with that reveal. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because she didn¡¯t like her authority being undercut by my patron or because she had stronger reason to suspect a favor for the Lady of Calm Waters could cause the Dawn Crawler to go on a rampage or some other factor I didn¡¯t know.

    I still didn¡¯t want to reveal every little bit of what happened. Didn¡¯t want to admit to most, if any, of it. I might have told Malady about the favor under threat but it still felt like I was sharing a secret I wasn¡¯t supposed to. But I could give them the basic facts since they already knew about some of it and leave everything about dreams and wishes out of it.

    So I told them about the fact that Esie had given me the stone so I could give it to a ¡°friend¡± of the Lady of Calm Waters that didn¡¯t leave the inner valleys and that had long limbs. Mishtaw didn¡¯t let her line of questioning go, however, until she established that on my most recent visit to the cave I managed to give that friend the stone.

    Mishtaw sighed when she heard that but it didn¡¯t quite cover up what Nine Claws muttered, ¡°Can never leave anything be.¡±

    Malady asked, ¡°Do you know what the stone was for?¡±

    I shook my head. ¡°I was just supposed to deliver it.¡±

    Everyone was frustrated by the lack of information about both what the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ favor was meant for and what was going on in the audience chamber, but I didn¡¯t have more information to give and we couldn¡¯t get to the audience chamber any faster than we were.

    Mishtaw took charge with her usual no nonsense attitude. ¡°Prevna, Gimley, find the boys that were left to watch the throne and make sure they¡¯re safe. We don¡¯t need more ill blood between the villagers and us. We¡¯ll see about dealing with the Dawn Crawler and the throne.¡±

    It was annoying being placed on Tike and Deamar¡¯s protection detail when there were obviously bigger things happening, but I knew that completely ignoring Mishtaw¡¯s order was the quickest way to only being trusted with watching bags or getting stuck back in the Seedling Palace.

    Still, I couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°And when they¡¯re safe?¡±

    She looked me dead in the eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t do anything stupid. Keep yourself safe so someone else doesn¡¯t have to risk their neck for you.¡±

    I glowered at the floor but didn¡¯t press further. I wasn¡¯t about to be stuck hiding in bushes if something important was happening, not if I could help.

    Prevna slung her arm around my shoulders. ¡°We won¡¯t do anything stupid.¡±

    Mishtaw didn¡¯t look convinced but the conversation fizzled out then and we were sent back to the spot we had claimed along its side, so they could coordinate without us getting any bright ideas about where we might be needed.

    As soon as the box pulled up along the shore we headed up the mountainside to the audience chamber as quick as we could go. What we found wasn¡¯t melted fire dancer puddles or even the Dawn Crawler breathing lava all over them. Instead the crawler was curled up around the throne without any signs of it being affected by the power that tried to take my blessing.

    And, more eye catchingly, the fire dancers were dancing as if they had never been dead eyed statues. They flowed from one step to the next, weaving around and through each other with intricate steps that weren¡¯t like anything I was used to. As they moved, the fire covering them burned brighter and ash floated to the ground so more and more of the dancers became clear glass.

    Then the middle most dancer, all imperfections burned away, crumbled into dust. Another fire dancer moved into its place until that one too crumbled away.

    Mishtaw stiffened next to me as we stared at the impossible scene happening in the audience chamber. ¡°It¡¯s a wishing ceremony.¡±

 Book 4 - Ch. 48: ...Wishes Come True

    As I watched the fire dancers crumble one after another I was reminded of the time Fellen and I saw shamble men create a translucent dome to protect the Statue Garden from the goddess¡¯s storm. They hadn¡¯t danced, but they had made awful keening sounds, almost like they were trying to sing and were even more awful at it than the most dry throated elder after a year without practice. Then every single shamble man had crumbled, all at once.

    This had more similarities than I¡¯d like to admit, but there was one key difference. Ressia, the black handed healer, had said that the shamble men had acted on the goddess¡¯s orders while this group had no such thing. If anything they were acting under the influence of a beast and a spirit that had no love lost for our goddess. If the Dawn Crawler hadn¡¯t just gotten it into its head to jump start a ritual that had been building in increments over the years with every new group of fire dancers that joined the old in the audience chamber.

    Why now?

    Was it really the stone I had given to the entity? Or the fact that we had discovered the throne? Or simply that there were two more whisper women in the Dawn Crawler¡¯s territory than it wanted?

    I didn¡¯t have any answers and I didn¡¯t like it.

    Another fire dancer crumbled to dust.

    Mishtaw gripped my shoulder and forced me to turn and face her, breaking my trance. ¡°Find the boys. Make sure they¡¯re safe so we have one less thing to worry about.¡±

    I gestured to the dancers. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wishing ceremonies cannot be stopped. Not by us. If you¡¯re willing to pay the price then the wish is granted¡ªand if those things are anything like shamblers then they are always willing to pay the price.¡± Mishtaw repeated her order, ¡°Find the boys. Be safe. We¡¯ll deal with the throne.¡±

    I didn¡¯t ask if that fighting or negotiating with the lizard that was currently curled up around it. Prevna took my hand in hers while Mishtaw and Creed, Nine Claws and Malady strode around the edge of the audience chamber as if something possibly disastrous wasn¡¯t happening mere feet away.

    ¡°Where do you think they would go?¡± I asked Prevna.

    She would have paid better attention to the others than I had. There had been too many things on my mind to observe out of boredom, but Prevna always seemed to have tidbit of knowledge about the people around us that I missed.

    This time, though, she didn¡¯t much more insight than I did. ¡°If they¡¯re in the audience chamber then they¡¯re on the other side of the dancers, near the throne, where we can¡¯t see them. Or they fled, but we didn¡¯t explore this part of the valley so I don¡¯t know where they¡¯d go other than the path we took up here.¡±

    We both turned to look at Logar. He had always been the more levelheaded of the village¡¯s leaders even if he hadn¡¯t liked our last exploration of the Night Cave. Out of the three of us he had the best knowledge of the valley as well as Deamar and Tike.

    Prevna stepped closer to him. ¡°Where would they go?¡±

    He swallowed, unable to tear his gaze away from the dancers. ¡°I¡­they knew to get somewhere safe.¡±

    My ears pricked at his choice of words. Of course, when faced with a beast breathing lava everywhere and dancers that were known for burning down everything around them were moving every which way it made sense to get to safety. But Logar¡¯s choice of words implied that the boys would have known to escape before those antics even started happening. And how could they have known that if it was due to the stone I had given the spirit, when even I didn¡¯t know what the stone meant?

    He wouldn¡¯t answer if he didn¡¯t feel vulnerable. He¡¯d pretend like he didn¡¯t have any idea what was going on like he had when we were on the lake.

    So I elbowed him in the gut, hooked my foot around his ankle, and hauled him to the ground. Leverage and shocked surprise more than anything was what actually landed the large man on his butt, but I¡¯d use what I could get even if it meant I wouldn¡¯t be able to keep him there.

    ¡°What did you do?¡± I accused.

    He stared up at me blankly for a moment before anger began to set in. ¡°What are¡ª¡±

    ¡°Prevna, Black Root.¡±

    To her credit, she didn¡¯t question me in that moment despite admonishing me for being difficult with Logar the day before. She knew I had noticed something, if she hadn¡¯t caught the slip herself. Instead, Prevna pressed one of her fingers, full of Black Root poison, to his exposed skin on his neck. I noticed the near immediate change in his demeanor as his eyes lost their focus and he flinched away from the sudden stabbing headache throbbing through his skull.

    I was glad for it. He could reap some of the consequences that came with crossing with whisper women, even seedlings like us. I was tired of people pretending to be one thing when they were something else entirely and then having to pay of their deception myself. Like with the healer and her supposed helpers.

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    He tried to punch me, but even without poison coursing through his veins I doubted he had trained in combat like we had. I slipped easily past his fist. Then I elbowed him in the side again, right where I had before, to show him how it was done. Logar immediately switched to trying to protect his side from another blow which left him open to Prevna. Hunched over like he was, he was at the perfect height for her to cup her hands and slap them over both his ears at the same time which certainly didn¡¯t help his headache any. Then she kneed him in the back and used the momentum to shove him back onto the ground.

    We pinned him there. If he hadn¡¯t been reeling in pain and able to think clearly, he could have put up more of a fight and work his way out from under us. As it was though, all he had was size and weight on his side that he didn¡¯t know how to use, while we had experience, numbers, and the ability to debilitate him further if we needed to. Prevna had gotten better at portion control for her poisons over the years.

    I hissed in Logar¡¯s ear, ¡°Tell us what you did or I swear to the goddess Herself that I will hunt down your son and make him wander the shadow paths as a ghost for the rest of eternity.¡±

    I had no desire for another possible ghost ruining my ability to use the shadow paths, but Logar didn¡¯t need to know that. Just like he didn¡¯t need to know that if Mishtaw or Nine Claws noticed what we were doing in the chaos we would have been the ones in trouble for immediately doing something stupid. Not that the whisper women wouldn¡¯t drag the truth out of him immediately after that.

    He gasped out an answer and I could tell he was having trouble speaking around his swollen tongue. ¡°Three days, three offerings, three people. Once Master heard the village¡¯s collective wish, he answered.¡±

    ¡°What offerings? What does the dance do?¡±

    He glared up at me through squinted eyes. ¡°Morn gave the first. Here.¡±

    I had to restrain the urge to punch the village leader. Morn had offered something here at the audience chamber but the only time he had been here recently was when they had first showed us the audience chamber. We would have noticed him if he had come again during our watches, but he hadn¡¯t done anything notable¡­the creature.

    The burned one he had carried all the way up from the village, only to dump it into one of the lines of lava crossing the audience chamber. At the time I had thought nothing of it. Assuming that it was something they always did to show their respect for this place they considered sacred or as a way to appease or show their appreciation for the fire dancers and the fertile ash they made. But if it wasn¡¯t something they did every time, if it was the start of ritual¡­then Deamar and Tike would have had plenty of opportunity to offer up their own animals while they here on watch with us.

    We hadn¡¯t known to look for it. To be wary of it.

    Prevna pressed Logar, ¡°Why? What does it do?¡±

    He groaned in pain and closed his eyes, but Prevna didn¡¯t take the bait. She didn¡¯t remove the poison and we didn¡¯t relax our stances. He tried to shove up from underneath us, but I clipped him in the temple and kept my weight on his dominant arm while Prevna made sure he didn¡¯t gain any ground with his feet. He flopped back onto his belly after a handful of moments struggling.

    He coughed and then spat out, ¡°We don¡¯t know. But the Master always left us with an impression of fire.¡±

    Such a surprise.

    ¡°You always pushed for tolerance. Why change your mind now?¡±

    ¡°Before you learned about the throne. We would never be left in peace now.¡± His face was utterly resolute as he forced out his next words as clearly as he could past his thick tongue. ¡°We will have a future.¡±

    Such stupidity.

    If they had let us examine the throne further then likely all they would have been subjected to was a visit from Mishtaw every few months to a year or so based on how she handled the other relics. Now? With the wishing ceremony and admitted guilt for defying whisper women?

    Now they¡¯d be lucky to keep their village.

    This might be a vestige of Her sister¡¯s territory but surely the goddess couldn¡¯t tolerate this. Not if what the spirit had said about wishes was true. Not if what was playing out right outside these valleys with the death bringers and Peacekeepers was as much a lesson about defiance as it was about keeping to the goddess¡¯s tenets.

    More dancers turned to dust in the audience chamber and I could tell there was more activity near the throne than before out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn¡¯t risk the distraction to look.

    We still had a job to do, though I doubted it had the same significance it had before we learned what the villagers had done. ¡°Where are Tike and Deamar?¡±

    If nothing else they could be leverage to bring the village to heel. Better that than the village razed, perhaps even their Master dead. That might have been feat impossible for regular tribesfolk in the past, but I wouldn¡¯t put it past whisper women and our blessings.

    ¡°Safe.¡±

    Logar refused to say anything else but I immediately knew he was wrong. In that moment I felt something uncannily familiar and wholly different from anything I had experienced before. When I was near death it was like I was constantly on the edge of drowning under it, even if it wasn¡¯t a true facet of Her attention. Now I knew how much a facsimile that experience really was for the true thing.

    The goddess¡¯s gaze.

    When I had stood along the Calling Road She hadn¡¯t looked at us, not truly. Perhaps we might as well have been statues lining Her path. But now, even though I couldn¡¯t see Her, it was undeniable that She could see us. From the way Prevna and Logar stiffened I knew they felt it too.

    I wanted to curl into a ball, to run away, to do anything but focus that attention on me. Nothing good could come of it.

    She walked out of the fog like it was nothing more than normal air. Hair like a sky full of stars at midnight, deep blue skin, dress woven of silver and ash colored pine needles. In this heat filled place, her steps left behind footprints of frozen ground.

    I wanted to pull my prayer needle free and prick my mark as I had been taught to do, but terror at the thought of any movement drawing Her attention kept me frozen. Other than the Calling Road, you were never supposed to lay eyes on the goddess in person. Her presence was supposed to be filtered through the Beloved, the Chosen, the whisper women. If She arrived somewhere in person, something had gone very, very wrong.

    And yet now the goddess walked among us while only the fire dancers continued their insane dance and turned to dust. One by one.

 Notice about Book 4 - Ch. 49

    So sorry to do this when I just made my New Year''s resolution not to post any chapters late but I''m going to need to postpone Book 4 - Ch. 49''s release until tomorrow. I know it''s bad timing with the goddess arriving on scene last chapter, but that''s also why I need to postpone this chapter a day. I don''t want to mess up the goddess''s first in person appearance since the beginning of the story and there''s something about what I have right now that doesn''t feel quite right, so I''d like the day to make sure the chapter is the best it can be for you all and to help make sure I''m not accidentally introducing something to the story that''ll end up breaking it.

    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    Thank you so much for your patience! Also thank you as always for reading and commenting! I hope you all enjoy the chapter when I share it with you tomorrow.

 Book 4 - Ch. 49: A Gift From One Goddess to Another

    No one dared to move. We barely dared to breathe.

    The goddess strolled past us, Her cursory glance over in the space of a moment as if we were no more important than the rock making up the audience chamber. For our sakes, that¡¯d be the best outcome. The goddess might be unpredictable but I had to hope a whim to destroy Her surroundings wasn¡¯t in the making. That something like that, and us, were beneath Her notice.

    The group of fire dancers had decreased considerably in the time it had taken us to take stock of the situation and then interrogate Logar. Perhaps only two-thirds of the dancers still filled the audience chamber and more were disappearing into dust with each minute that passed.

    We tracked the goddess¡¯s every step as She inspected the dancers and their intricate movements. A large part of me wanted to lower my head in subservience or close my eyes to reduce the risk that She might find our attention annoying or defiant, but I couldn¡¯t tear my gaze away. Doing so, blessing or not, felt like I¡¯d be inviting my execution. As if, in this moment, that would be the thing to earn Her ire.

    So I saw the brief flicker of a frown on Her lips after She brush Her fingers over a passing dancer. It was too quick for me to determine whether the frown had been irritation or disappoint or something else entirely. I was nowhere near the Beloved¡¯s skill at reading the goddess¡¯s moods. Nor was I sure I¡¯d want to stay in the goddess¡¯s presence long enough to learn the skill.

    Still, my stomach dropped. A frown, no matter how brief, couldn¡¯t be a good sign.

    However, instead of destroying the fire dancers or otherwise interrupting their ritual, She continued Her measured pace around them until Heliquat had reached the throne¡¯s platform.

    The Dawn Crawler was still wrapped around the throne, but the beast was no longer spewing lava. It seemed¡­cowed in the goddess¡¯s presence. Not that I could blame it. Only the suicidal weren¡¯t, but it did truly bring into perspective that no matter how the villagers touted about their Master, in the end the Dawn Crawler was a lizard in a mountain valley. Any authority it held here was at the mercy of the goddess¡¯s whim.

    Mishtaw, Nine Claws, Malady, and Creed all knelt on the platform¡¯s back edge, pressed against the basin¡¯s wall, heads bowed and arms crossed over their heads in submission. I knew that we should be doing the same, but it still felt like that if we moved we would draw Her attention. And there was the fact that if I moved to bow to the goddess, then I would also give into the impulse to offer Her blood and I wasn¡¯t sure I would be able to stop once I had begun. The memory of jabbing myself with my prayer needle and the High Priestess¡¯s warning on the Calling Road kept replaying over and over in my mind.

    She had stopped my repeated offerings then and I didn¡¯t want to make the same mistake now. Such weakness, such loss of control couldn¡¯t be tolerated.

    ¡°A pet.¡± Despite the distance between us, the goddess¡¯s resonant voice sounded as if She only an arm¡¯s length away. After a long heart stopping moment I realized She wasn¡¯t speaking to me, but rather it was as if the wind couldn¡¯t help but bring Her words to everyone in the vicinity. ¡°Abandoned too?¡±

    Heliquat stopped midway to the throne and held out a hand. The unspoken command was clear to the Dawn Crawler as the beast unwound itself from the throne. Even though its length was enough that it could have still stayed partially wrapped around the throne, the creature purposefully shifted its bulk away from it before tentatively pressing its snout up to touch the goddess¡¯s fingers.

    They stayed that way for what felt like a small eternity.

    When the goddess lifted Her hand from the Dawn Crawler¡¯s snout, the creature was the one to jolt and shift away. The goddess didn¡¯t pay the beast any further attention. Instead, She took the Dawn Crawler¡¯s place and sat on the throne.

    The fire dancers stuttered.

    Not as if one of them had misplaced a step and the others had to move around it to continue the dance like what had sometimes happened during the Heartsong Festival. No, all the fire dancers frozen as once, no matter what position they were in, for a single moment. Whatever individuality they¡¯d had when Jika and I hid in Steamer¡¯s Fall was gone. When the dance resumed, the dancers all moved at once, even if their steps were different as they flowed through different parts of the dance. Since we had missed the start of the ritual I wasn¡¯t sure if the unity was the goddess¡¯s influence or if it had already been there. Perhaps both, since the shamble men had been extremely coordinated when they caused the barrier to appear over the Statue Garden.

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    ¡°Gimley¡­¡± Prevna¡¯s voice was scarcely more than a breath.

    I tore my gaze from the goddess and dancers to glance back at her out of the corner of my eye, and immediately I noticed that she hadn¡¯t been focused on what I had been. I followed her gaze and inhaled sharply.

    The thin lines of lava under the fire dancers¡¯ feet¡ªand all across the audience chamber¡ªwere widening. The fire dancers paid no attention to the molten rock but, then again, they had come from the giant lake of lava.

    We didn¡¯t have the same imperviousness to molten stone. Nor was I keen to find what would happen if my blessing was tested against it.

    We watched in horror as the lines widened further and stretched closer to where we were at the audience chamber¡¯s entrance. The goddess was still here and, going by instinct, moving unless invited was still not ideal. But nor was staying put and waiting to be swamped by molten rock.

    My focus snapped back up to Mishtaw and the others. They¡¯d be protected from the rising lava longer than we would, but they also be trapped sooner with the goddess a handful of feet away and nowhere to retreat to once the molten rock covered the floor of the audience chamber.

    There wasn¡¯t any way to save them either unless the lava stopped below the lip of the platform and then subsided back to the lines that had broken up the basin¡¯s floor. Perhaps with enough time and effort they could scale the audience chamber¡¯s steep wall, but the goddess¡¯s presence kept them as still as it did us.

    Heliquat seemed utterly unmoved by the rising lava even though it was a far cry from her domains. She might have given most tribesfolk the common blessing but it was difficult to reconcile a flicker of flame with the red hot rock bubbling up from the ground. Even if it was difficult to imagine anything hurting the goddess, the lava might, possibly, trap Her too since there weren¡¯t shadows to step through in this place.

    But it was also a distinct possibility that didn¡¯t matter. After all, She had stepped out fog as if She had always been there but I knew there weren¡¯t any pines near the entrance of the audience chamber. Unless She had grown one.

    The fire dancers kept crumbling into dust and the lava kept rising. It was to the dancers¡¯ ankles now but they stepped in and out of the molten rock as if it was no more than regular puddle of rain water.

    An offshoot of the pool of lava was slowing expanding towards Prevna, Logar, and me. My mind flashed to the pathway of hardened melted earth leading up to audience chamber and I realized that if this wishing ceremony was repeatable, like the barrier for the Statue Garden was, then the state of the path might not be due to just the fire dancers making their way up the mountain. Like water, if more destructive, the lava was taking the path of least resistance.

    Risk the goddess¡¯s wrath or be melted?

    I honestly wasn¡¯t sure what would be worse.

    The lava pressed closer.

    Six feet or so from us Logar could no longer take it. He flung Prevna and me off him and we were too distracted to do anything to keep him in place. The village leader went racing off down the fog shrouded mountainside.

    But in the same moment he moved I felt the all encompassing weight of Her gaze. Between one step and the next a pine sapling had grown next to him and tangled him in its roots and branches. Logar couldn¡¯t have moved if he tried.

    ¡°Follower,¡± the goddess spoke again and I focused back on the throne¡¯s platform to see that another pine sapling had grown from the audience chamber¡¯s wall. It seemed She was speaking to one of the whisper women. ¡°This is mine. That,¡± a dismissive flick of one finger toward the bound village leader, ¡°is for you. They hid a gift from me. Unsully these valleys.¡±

    Mishtaw and Nine Claws, Malady and Creed, all pressed their foreheads to the ground before they slowly rose to their feet. Each whisper woman took their fire starter in hand and then one after another they stepped into the pine tree¡¯s provided shadow. A moment later and both pairs stepped out of the shadow of the tree that had bound Logar. The tree twisted and bent until Logar was free of its clutches but he didn¡¯t have chance to run before they captured him again.

    The lava was still rolling towards us. Prevna and I shared a look, quietly still trying to decide if risking the goddess¡¯s wrath was worth it. But then the ground a foot from us burst apart. We ducked down out of instinct and, when dirt and bits of broken rock stopped pelting me, I carefully peeked my head out from behind my arms.

    Much like the root wall that had encircled the encampment on the shore when I had been forced to join the fight against the Lady Blue¡¯s monsters, a sphere of roots and branches had risen out of the ground and enclosed the audience chamber. They didn¡¯t look like normal tree limbs either. The bark was dark gray, nearly black, while the the needles that poked from the branches glittered like the stars in the goddess¡¯s hair.

    I could only stare at the unexpected phenomenon. At least, the lava that had been sliding towards us had been blocked off, though I doubted the goddess had done it to protect us.

    I waited for the lava to seep through the roots and branches, to burn some of them away, but nothing happened. The woven together trees held. For some reason, the goddess either didn¡¯t want the lava to escape or She simply didn¡¯t want us to see the conclusion of the wishing ceremony. Those were the immediate possibilities for Her actions that came to mind, but part of me wouldn¡¯t have put it past Her that She¡¯d wanted to display some Her own power in this place full of Her sister¡¯s presence or that there was another reason I couldn¡¯t piece together.

    Either way, the lava had been stopped and now that we had clearly been dismissed, we could move. Prevna and I hurried to where the others were still gathered around the newly grown pine tree so we could learn what we were supposed to do next.

    One thing was clear, however: this valley would no longer be allowed the respite it had grown accustomed to from the goddess¡¯s influence now that Her indifference was at an end.

 Book 4 - Ch. 50: The Goddesss Will

    Things moved quickly after the goddess enclosed Herself within the audience chamber. After being poisoned, nearly burned alive by lava and then ensnared by a pine that had grown out of nowhere, and, most importantly, watching Heliquat claim the throne he had been so desperate to protect, Logar didn¡¯t have much willpower or hope to stand on to refuse the whisper women¡¯s demands.

    Prevna took the Black Root poison back and then we were sent to fetch Deamar and Tike  from where they were hiding out on the mountain. Apparently, the plan had been for them to come stumbling and panicked after the ceremony was completed, claiming ignorance and shock at what happened in the audience chamber while we were away. But then Mishtaw¡¯s visit at the village had been much shorter than the villagers anticipated and Nine Claws¡¯ cats had spied the ceremony starting, so they were unable to keep our lake crossing as slow as they planned to make up the difference.

    Instead of having the throne blocked off by whatever fiery calamity the ceremony was supposed to bring forth or scaring us off, we caught them in the act. Now they had no deniability, no creditability, not even their lizard. The Dawn Crawler had bowed its head to the goddess and I doubted it would change its mind in the face of Her power.

    The goddess was displeased and there was no question of what She meant when She said  She wanted the valleys unsullied. All the humans in them needed to be gone as quickly as possible or face Her wrath.

    The trouble was that, with the fog blanketing everything, our group and Logar were likely the only ones who knew what was happening. Deamar and Tike might not even know despite being on the same mountain.

    Prevna and I found them in the hollow that Logar had reluctantly given us directions to. Deamar was sprawled out in the hollow, taking up most of the room, while he tore the grass he held into little pieces. He seemed caught between petulant anger, impatience, and uncertainty. Klus watched Tike pace outside of the hollow. It seemed like practically every other step he was glancing toward the audience chamber, trying to figure out if it was time to intercept us on the path or not, not that he could see anything but fog and tree branches.

    ¡°Did you feel that tremor?¡± he asked Deamar.

    Deamar¡¯s scowl deepened. ¡°It¡¯s not time yet. If we leave too early we could ruin it.¡±

    If only he knew.

    Though I also got the impression Deamar didn¡¯t want to leave the hollow. Despite his impatience and clear lack of appreciation for his surroundings and company, it seemed like he was almost hoping that if he stuck around the hollow long enough we would forget about him and he¡¯d be able to stay in the valley despite the Dawn Crawler¡¯s will. Perhaps he thought this whole fiasco would redeem him in the creature¡¯s eyes.

    Prevna touched my arm and we slipped from between the trees and directly into Tike¡¯s pacing path. He stopped short before a confused torrent of questions and excuses flowed off his tongue. Deamar scrambled up from where he had been lounging in the hollow as Prevna held up a hand and Tike cut himself off.

    ¡°We know about the ceremony and your part in it,¡± Prevna said. ¡°Nine Claws is dragging Logar back to the village right now. Our goddess sits on the throne, here, in the valley and She wants the valleys cleansed. You can come with us quietly or we can take you back. Your choice.¡±

    ¡°You have no right to be here or to order us around! These are our valleys and you need to leave!¡±

    Clearly, Deamar was in no mood to be reasonable.

    I threw my knife so it sank into the mound of earth that rose up behind him, just over his shoulder. ¡°We aren¡¯t here to quibble. The goddess¡¯s indifference is over, so you can come with us willing or Prevna will poison you and we¡¯ll take you back. The only difference is if you want to have any pride left or not.¡±

    Nor did I want to attempt dragging them down the mountainside or contend with Klus if he decided we were a threat. He might not be the biggest crocodile I¡¯d seen in the valleys but I wasn¡¯t sure we could restrain him without something going wrong.

    Tike slumped and gestured to Klus. The crocodile left off posturing threateningly at us to curl around Tike¡¯s feet. ¡°We¡¯ll go.¡±

    Deamar whirled on him. ¡°What? No! They¡¯re the ones who should listen to us.¡±

    Tike just gave him a look that asked when we had ever done that before asking, ¡°What are we going to do here?¡±

    Deamar opened his mouth several times but he couldn¡¯t quite make himself say that they should hide when the rest of village could be in danger. Never mind the fact that we couldn¡¯t ignore two people who had played a part in making the wishing ceremony happen.

    A scuffle nearly broke out when we tied their wrists but Prevna used some of her Sleeper¡¯s Kiss poison to make Deamar go limp. Tike didn¡¯t have any resistance to give after seeing that. Once they were tied up, I  collected my knife and Prevna took the poison back from Deamar. It still took him a minute find his legs again but then we headed down the mountain to find a similar scene playing out between Malady, Creed, and the villager who had taken us across the lake. Nine Claws and Mishtaw seemed busy speaking on the wind, which had grown stronger ever since the goddess cut of the audience chamber.

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    Malady said something to Logar who in turn said something to the villager and that broke the villager¡¯s resistance. Everyone piled onto the box, each prisoner on a different side so we wouldn¡¯t have to deal with coordinated resistance, however ill thought out, on the way back.

    When we reached the lake outpost, we collected the guards there into our band of prisoners, and marched the group up to the village. It didn¡¯t take us long to gather a crowd and an even shorter amount of time for Morn to come hurrying down the main path through the village.

    ¡°What is this?¡± he demanded as soon as he saw his partner and son held captive.

    Mishtaw stepped forward. ¡°Our goddess is displeased. You hid a gift from Her sister, so She would have these valleys cleansed of your presence.¡±

    ¡°We did no such thing!¡±

    Mishtaw raised her eyebrows at the village leader, silently asking if he really thought that mattered. It wasn¡¯t like any of us had the power to change the goddess¡¯s mind.

    She gestured to take in our group and the gathering crowd. ¡°You wanted us to leave? You¡¯ve gotten your wish. All of us will leave, including your village, and any who remain will risk the goddess¡¯s wrath because I can assure you She will not have any mercy.¡±

    Morn looked about to protest again, more like his son than my first impression of him would¡¯ve had me believe, but then Logar cut into the argument. ¡°She tells the truth, Morn. The goddess sits on the throne and Master¡ª¡± his mouth twisted before he corrected himself with a snarl, ¡°the Dawn Crawler didn¡¯t resist her at all. She called him a pet.¡±

    Morn gaped at him, slowly processing what he said. ¡°But¡­we have nowhere to go.¡±

    Mishtaw said, ¡°Those who would have gone for the Trial of Snow or Fog will be taken to the Seedling Palace early. However, they will no longer have the option to return here. They will have a sentence of four years work where we can watch them. For those too young or old, you will be relocated to a Carver¡¯s Enclave. Once those that are too young reach the appropriate age they will also complete fours years of work at the Seedling Palace. Any who complete the four year term will have the choice to return to you or renew their work term. Any who go to the Carver¡¯s Enclave will not be allowed to leave again.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± words failed Morn.

    ¡°I¡¯d advise not to act against a whisper woman in the future. To go against our will can be judged as going against the goddess¡¯s. Rebel in the Carver¡¯s Enclave and you can be sure that your village will not be together long and that your sons will not be given assignments many survive.¡± Mishtaw¡¯s gaze was colder than I had ever seen it. ¡°Is that plain enough for you?¡±

    Nine Claws added, ¡°Take what small mercy we can offer.¡±

    Morn bowed his head and choked out, ¡°We hear and obey.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Mishtaw tilted her head like she was listening to the wind. ¡°Now get low to the ground if you don¡¯t want to be blown away.¡±

    I crouched low as soon as she did, not knowing what to expect, but knowing better than to question her order.

    The wind picked up. Faster and faster it spun around until it was tugging my hair straight to the side and it felt like it was snatching away my breath. I hunkered closer to the ground in case I really could be swept off my feet. Prevna clutched onto my pack to keep me in place, too.

    All around us, everyone else was doing their best to stay low as well. Tike had slipped his arms around Klus despite his tied wrists. He clung to the crocodile, who out of all of us, seemed to be fairing the best against the wind. Creed was another rock in the sudden wind storm. He sheltered the whisper women as best he could while Malady crouched low nearby and seemed annoyed that she couldn¡¯t do the same for Nine Claws. Logar and Deamar had reached each other at some point and also clung to each other. Morn and the rest of the villagers clung to each other groups, clearly panicked but unable to do anything about it.

    As the wind swept by, more and more of the fog cleared until, for the first time since I had entered the inner valleys, I could see the sky. An expanse of blue, without a single cloud, greeted my eyes.

    Once the fog was clear in the valley, the wind slowly calmed back down until it was just strong enough to lightly tug on my hair. The villagers gasped at the sky above them once they regained enough of their wits to take in their surroundings.

    But the surprises weren¡¯t done.

    From the village¡¯s homes and buildings made of wood, branches were sprouting. Pine tree branches that cast shadows on the ground and whisper women stepped from the newly made shadows. The villagers watched in horror as their secluded haven was suddenly overrun with the people they had been hiding from. Then someone spotted the ball of roots and branches hiding the audience chamber, now visible across the valley, and a new wave of despair washed over the villagers.

    Nine Claws helped me and Prevna stand up before she pointed out two women striding toward Mishtaw. ¡°The Wind Caller and the Reforester. Chosen. Normally, the Wind Caller helps fill in the gaps where the wind is low in the territory and the Reforester can only make so many branches sprout from dead wood in a day¡ªand they don¡¯t last forever¡ªbut due to the goddess¡¯s interest, we were able to call on them to help take care of things here so Her ire doesn''t rise further.¡±

    Prevna breathed out, her voice barely more than a whisper, ¡°Chosen?¡±

    I stared.

    The Wind Caller was a tall woman with black hair bound into an elaborate bun and skin a similar tone to Prevna¡¯s. Her robes were altered like the High Priestess¡¯s had been to reveal her blessing mark. It covered her right shoulder in five bold lines that swirled around each other before running up her neck to end behind her ear. She smiled gently at everyone even as the villagers scrambled to get out of her way.

    In contrast, the Reforester was a heavyset woman with skin as dark as wet bark and graying hair. Her bless mark ran up her left leg from ankle to just past her knee. It looked like two pine branches that had grown around her calf and wove around each other.

    Nine Claws had us follow her, so we stood behind her and Mishtaw when the chosen whisper women stopped in front of them. We all bowed our heads in a show of respect.

    I never thought I¡¯d be face to face with the goddess¡¯s chosen, not like this, even when I had vowed to prove myself worthy of joining their ranks. After seeing the goddess in person, I had thought my capacity for being shocked was filled, but this only added to it.

    ¡°A purge without and now one within¡­it seems this area¡¯s fortunes have changed,¡± the Wind Caller observed.

    Nine Claws and Mishtaw nodded their agreement.

    She added, ¡°I will clear the other valleys in case there are any stragglers. Dotty will make some branches grow so our women can reach those areas quicker. The fog will likely only stay clear for a few hours. Keep that in mind as I would hate to hear some of our number fell victim to its effects.¡±

    Nine Claws and Mishtaw nodded again, but Mishtaw added, ¡°Understood.¡±

    The Wind Caller turned to her companion, ¡°Dotty? Anything?¡±

    The Reforester shook her head slowly. ¡°Let¡¯s open the path for the others.¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    They continued past us and I wasn¡¯t surprised when I saw the lake outpost building suddenly sprout branches.

 Book 4 - Ch. 51: Clearing House

    The whisper women allowed the villagers some time to gather their things, though it was painfully obvious that the men didn¡¯t think there was anything charitable about being forced out of their home. However, I was somewhat surprised they were being given any time at all. The goddess wasn¡¯t known for Her patience, and I¡¯d assumed that with Her presence weighing over the inner valleys that the whisper women would have pulled the men through the shadows as soon as they reached the village.

    Mishtaw caught me watching the proceedings. ¡°Would you handle this situation differently?¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you worried She¡¯ll get impatient? Or that giving the villagers more time here will make them more likely to do something stupid?¡± I asked.

    As we watched the village a man came bursting out one of wood-worked buildings. He was yelling something about all the things he had devoted his life to as he waved a wooden object in the air. It looked carved. A whisper woman followed him more sedately out of the building as he smashed the wooden object onto the ground. Then she said something and they both turned to look at the open area at the base of the village between its two hills.

    All of the village youths sat or stood in that area, encircled by more whisper women. They weren¡¯t allowed to help the adults pack for the departure. The whisper women apparently didn¡¯t want to risk one of them being smuggled into the surrounding wilderness and the leverage they provided against the men was clear. The men had been told that if they caused too much trouble the length of the boys¡¯ work terms would be increased by a year for every infraction or that their jobs would worsen. Meanwhile, the boys had been told that if they acted up, then their families would be split between different Carver Enclaves instead of being sent to only one.

    Somewhere in all the conditions, I couldn¡¯t help but think that there was also implied threat that whisper women didn¡¯t have to reunite them at all. Carver Enclave locations were secret and hidden. If the whisper women refused to tell them where to find each other, or simply refused to take them through the shadows, then the villagers, both young and old, would be stranded with no way to find each other again.

    And they knew it.

    The man went back inside the building, but I hardly paid him any attention as my focus had caught on where Tike was sitting dejectedly with Klus curled around him. A handful of the other youths and men in the village also had crocodiles sticking close to their heels.

    Mishtaw said, ¡°Better small mercies now rather burden the Enclave with an even higher demand for supplies for the villagers. The goddess might want the valleys cleansed but it¡¯s better to do what we can now to cause less headaches later.¡±

    ¡°What about the crocodiles?¡±

    She crossed her arms. ¡°Those that they insist on bringing along will be sedated for the journey through the shadows, but I doubt they¡¯ll live long outside the valleys, especially with the cold season coming.¡±

    Klus would probably be fine if he was in Seedling Palace, given how the temperature was controlled there, even if it wasn¡¯t the humid heat of these valleys, but for the rest of the crocodiles I could see her point. Swimming through a lake of molten rock was very different from navigating the snow the cold season was sure to bring.

    From the look of it, some of the men were trying to convince their crocodiles to leave them and go join the wild ones in the valley which made my stomach twist. It brought to mind a horrible image of Wren being forced to say goodbye to Chirp as a comparison or camp dogs being forced from a tribe that hadn¡¯t managed them properly. There wasn¡¯t a thing I could do either.

    The men had to leave.

    But that brought another entity to mind as well. Was it only the men who had to be purged from the valleys or would the goddess¡¯s wrath befall the mountain spirit if she didn¡¯t leave? Esie had said that she didn¡¯t leave the mountains.

    I didn¡¯t want to bring her up, in case it didn¡¯t matter, nor did I really want to return to that storming cave, but I also didn¡¯t want Mishtaw to face the wrath of the chosen or the goddess because we overlooked the possibility that the entity was included.

    ¡°And the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ friend?¡± I asked.

    Mishtaw gave me a long sidelong look. ¡°The goddess wants the valleys cleansed of humans.¡± When I didn¡¯t offer any more information she sighed. ¡°The others have things handled here. Show me the cave and I¡¯ll determine if we need to do anything further with this¡­friend from there.¡±

    Somehow, she already suspected that there was more to the entity than what I was telling. Perhaps she had managed to hear the villager¡¯s myth about a mountain spirit already during all the chaos. Mishtaw had a way of knowing more than she should despite not having a blessing that helped with gathering information.

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    Still, I kept the dreams and information about wishes to myself. When she got to the cave she¡¯d likely learn all that she needed to about the spirit. Besides, I doubted Mishtaw could make the spirit leave even if she had every tidbit of information I pieced together. And part of me wanted her to witness the cave and the entity for herself without my own experiences clouding her expectations, to see if it was similar for her as it had been for us.

    Prevna and I led her and Creed to the Night Cave. We knew the way well enough now, even if we didn¡¯t have Tike¡¯s experience to avoid all the dangers of the forest. Still, the predators seemed to know better than to attack us and Creed was able to cut Prevna free of a plant that had hidden just beneath the ground, only to rise up and try to swallow her whole when she stepped on top of it.

    She kept a tight hold on my hand after that. I tried to keep a step or two in front her too while looking for any other sneaky plant life, but her legs were too long so, more often than not, we ended up side by side.

    Mishtaw frowned when we reached the clearing in front of the Night Cave and she saw how the trees crowded away from its entrance. Creed also whistled when he saw how the jagged entrance seemed to nearly split the mountain in half.

    ¡°Stay outside and keep watch,¡± she told Prevna and me before holding up a finger in warning. ¡°Don¡¯t follow us. Nine Claws is keeping an eye as well and will come if we take too long.¡±

    My chin lifted. ¡°Why? We¡¯ve entered the cave before.¡±

    ¡°And you got lucky. Anyone the Lady of Calm Waters calls a friend is not someone to be trifled with.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t object to that. Especially with how things had gone sideways every time we had entered the cave so far¡ªand the dreams before that.

    Creed clamped one hand on Mishtaw¡¯s shoulder before they crossed into the cave. Prevna and I watched until they went around the corner and disappeared from sight.

    ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll be alright?¡± Prevna whispered.

    I nodded, even though I wasn¡¯t entirely sure.  When I answered I matched her tone, mindful of the spirit cat that was likely nearby. ¡°They can take care of themselves.¡±

    ¡°Should we have told them more?¡±

    ¡°Too late now.¡± Then I grimaced at my sharp reply and added, ¡°With the goddess so close, it¡¯s probably best to speak as little as we can about it.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure how much the spirit had told Prevna after she separated us, but at least in my conversation with her it had been clear that the goddess¡¯s didn¡¯t take kindly to the knowledge of wishes being spread.

    We sat back to back while we waited. Prevna watched the woods while I kept an eye on the cave. For all of the odd things that happened inside it, the Night Cave¡¯s entrance wasn¡¯t the most interesting thing to look at for minutes on end, but we didn¡¯t want to miss the moment Mishtaw and Creed came back out.

    As it turned out, we didn¡¯t have to wait long.

    About a quarter of an hour later Mishtaw and Creed strode out of the cave at a fast clip. We scrambled to our feet as they kept going past us, toward the direction of village.

    Mishtaw gestured for us to follow and we listened to her silent command. Only once the cave was out of sight and a good distance behind us, did they stop and face us.

    ¡°Never step into that cave again. And if you find one like it, turn tail and run as fast as you can away from it.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Promise me.¡± Mishtaw¡¯s gaze bore into us, demanding we comply.

    It wasn¡¯t like her to make a demand without an explanation or give at least a bit of reasoning when asked. I could guess why she was reluctant to do so now, but part of me still bristled at the command.

    Prevna¡¯s hand tightened around my own. ¡°We promise. Right, Gimley?¡±

    It took a moment¡¯s difficulty to get the word off my tongue but I said, ¡°Promise.¡±

    Whisper woman and firestarter relaxed slightly once we both agreed. Then Mishtaw said, ¡°We¡¯ll talk more later.¡±

    ¡°What about the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ friend?¡± I pressed.

    ¡°She won¡¯t bring down the goddess¡¯s wrath on our heads. Not for this.¡±

    Mishtaw and Creed took the lead on our way back to the village and we managed to arrive without further incident. By that point, the whisper women had rounded up the handful of men who had been posted as sentries around the inner valleys and they were the last ones gathering their things. The rest of village had what they could carry strapped to their backs or resting on the ground by their feet.

    After conferring with the other whisper women, Mishtaw pulled Nine Claws aside and had a brief conversation with her. I wished I could hear what they were saying, but Mishtaw had picked her spot well to not be overheard.

    Not too long after that, all the villagers were gathered up and the whisper women started taking them through the shadows paths. They started with the youths, and I watched as Deamar had a tearful goodbye with his fathers before he disappeared into a shadow. Interestingly, Tike had a handful of farewells, but none of them were nearly as intense as Deamar¡¯s had been. Unsurprisingly, however, Tike did take Klus with him. A whisper woman with hair as white as snow touched the beast and the crocodile immediately slumped into slumber. Tike hauled Klus over his shoulders like he had when he carried him up into the tree and then they were both gone with the whisper woman ferrying them through the shadows.

    The whisper women were efficient and it didn¡¯t take long before the village was abandoned except for Prevna, Mishtaw, Creed, and me. Nine Claws and Malady had disappeared during the bustle without so much as a wave goodbye.

    ¡°Back to the Seedling Palace,¡± Mishtaw said.

    Finding the shadows of the Seedling Palace would be easy. Prevna and I had ample practice at this point traveling back there through the shadow paths, and since we had gotten ourselves to the Broken Spear Peaks there was no reason why we couldn¡¯t manage the distance back.

    But before I didn¡¯t have to worry about a ghost being trapped in the shadows and now, for the first time since I had left that death bringer in the shadow path, I did.

 Book 4 - Ch. 52: Pulls of the Past

    ¡°Do you want to go with me?¡± Prevna held out her hand. With how much practice she had been putting into shadow walking before we got stuck in the inner valleys, she might be able to take me all the way to the Seedling Palace. Or if not her, Mishtaw could, even if she had to make two trips due to Creed¡¯s bulk.

    But Mishtaw shook her head and my instincts agreed. I didn¡¯t want to be dependent on everyone else and unable to use one of the boons that defined whisper women just because I was afraid to learn what one mistake had caused. That sounded like its own kind of torture even if I wasn¡¯t sure that the goddess and other whisper women wouldn¡¯t look kindly on that kind of behavior.

    Mishtaw ordered Prevna, ¡°You go first. Serve as her anchor.¡±

    I didn¡¯t have a strong chance of finding the specific shadow she would stand in or near amongst all the deep shadows of the Seedling Palace, but if it was the thought that counted. Prevna certainly seemed pleased to be given something to do instead of just waiting to see if I would reappear from the shadows or not.

    As soon as she was gone, Mishtaw turned to me. ¡°If something feels off or you can¡¯t make the path, step back out here. Otherwise, have a whisper woman let me know you made it. I¡¯ll be waiting.¡±

    I nodded and then drew in a deep breath as I focused back on the shadow of a pine branch just a step away. Back to the Seedling Palace. Simple, easy, practiced. Shadow walking had been one of things I was better at since I first figured out the trick of it. I wasn¡¯t about to lose that advantage now.

    I stepped into the shadow and willed the shadow paths to open up to me. The shadow felt¡­odd. Like it was strong and stable now, but underneath that it felt like it was the most ephemeral shadow I ever tried to enter. Light as a breath and liable to disappear after a moment.

    At first I thought it had to do with the ghost, but I hadn¡¯t even entered the shadows yet, and then I realized it was likely an effect of the Reforester¡¯s blessing. The branches she grew didn¡¯t last even if they were strong enough to create shadows that whisper women could easily pass through. The sensation was likely a reminder that while her blessing was powerful, it was nowhere close to the goddess¡¯s ability to grow pines with shadows that never lost their strength in a heartbeat.

    I finished my mental image of untying a tent flap and stepping inside. Gravity shifted around me and then I was inside the shadow paths. Oil slick floor under my feet, swirling smoke all around.

    I froze as I swept my gaze around, trying to determine if anything was different. There wasn¡¯t a body; something I had half dreaded, half hoped for. If there had been that would¡¯ve been a simple solution to pull the body back out and any ghosts it might have with it. But no. Every time we entered the shadow paths we created something new, I knew that, even it meant that I wasn¡¯t sure how a ghost could follow me around in first place.

    After waiting a little bit longer, I got to work. If no spectral hands were going to reach out of the mist or moaning howls were going to sweep by on the edge of my hearing like ghosts did in the stories, then I might as well get to the Seedling Palace and report everything was fine.

    There was a particular shadow in the Palace that we had taken to using when we were returning from one of Mishtaw¡¯s relic hunts. A deep well of shadow in an arch of wood at least twice my height and half again that wide. It was situated near the residential area Mishtaw¡¯s home resided in and whenever I looked at it, it seemed like an invitation to all the different places the shadow paths could take you.

    I drew up the image of it in my mind as I willed the shadows to link together. I felt the path reach out, stretching to reach the destination I had focused on, before it¡­stuttered and my concentration broke.

    That hadn¡¯t happened before. I frowned. My paths certainly had broken before due to my destination being outside my range or being unable to find any shadows dark enough to anchor the ends of my path. But this had felt different. It was almost as if my path had¡­snagged on something while reaching for that arch of shadow. Even though in this world of mental images and intent there shouldn¡¯t be anything for it to catch on. Nothing but the ends of the path I was trying to anchor with my will, and this hadn¡¯t felt like that.

    Cautiously, I tried to make the path again. And again, it caught long before it was supposed to. I let the path fail. Then I tried something different and tried to make path to another one of the Reforster¡¯s shadows. That time the path connected where I meant it to, but I had felt something like a pull while I was making it. A pull that was vaguely in the direction of where my other paths had gotten caught.

    Was this the ghost?

    Mishtaw had said there were stories about the ghosts supposedly messing with the shadow paths and making it difficult or impossible for whisper women to go where they meant to.

    I made another path and this time let it catch on where the first ones had been snagged. Then I followed the path to see where it might take me. Mishtaw might have said to rejoin her if there was anything odd, but this way I¡¯d be able to tell her more than about a vague feeling I had. Besides, this was my issue. If I could solve it myself, I would.

    I stopped when I felt another shadow beneath me, the end of the path. The shadows paths still looked normal as far as I could tell here. Smoke in varying shades of gray and the ground that looked like it should be wet but wasn¡¯t. So I stomped my foot so I could see where the path had taken me.

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    A forest greeted me when I opened my eyes. One on a slope, though it wasn¡¯t as steep here as it could be. There was also a small rise a little ways off.

    It could have been any patch of forest, there was nothing remarkable to set this one spot away from the rest, except for the fact that I knew it. Looking around, I could clearly picture the moment the death bringer had rushed over that rise and screeched when she saw my lips. I knew the spot where Prevna and Jika had held their ground back to back against multiple attackers and where Kuma had nearly been killed by a surprise attack. Where¡­

    I twisted and stumbled back, bile suddenly pressing at the back of my throat.

    Just like this spot, the pine tree was no different from the rest, nothing to it that made it stand out, other than for the fact that I knew this was where I had taken the death bringer into the shadows and never brought him back out.

    Was this it then? The ghost would bring me back here whenever I tried to walk the shadows? Endlessly stuck returning to this useless patch of forest?

    But the shorter path I had experimented with already showed I could make paths that weren¡¯t pulled off course, even that one would have useless in a practical sense. It would have been easier to just walk normally between the two spots rather than bothering with the shadow paths.

    What if this meant I could no longer make longer shadow paths without being diverted? I glowered at the tree. If that was the case I¡¯d lose any hope of beating Hana at her own game.

    I¡¯d have to practice more. Experiment. See how strong the pull to this place was and how often it caught the paths I tried to link together.

    But first, I had to leave.

    I could have chosen one of the other shadows, but I set my shoulders and stepped back into the one I had used to dispatch the attacker.

    No body.

    Again, the shadow paths looked normal, but this time there was definitely the feeling of something being¡­off. It was like a small hole torn into a tent¡¯s roof. Out of my reach and something I didn¡¯t currently have to tools to fix even if I could reach it. That small hole wasn¡¯t a necessity to fix right away either, but it was a distraction and if the weather turned bad it certainly could be the doom of whoever decided to shelter in the tent.

    The trouble was, small hole in a tent or a ghost, I couldn¡¯t do anything about it. Nothing in my training with shadow walking had touched on anything like this and my skill wasn¡¯t advanced enough that I could attempt any of my ideas to fix the issue. All I could for now was ignore it while increasing my skill and knowledge, so that at some point in the future, I might be able to do what the whisper women did in the stories and get rid of the ghost.

    Creating the path from the shadow to the one in the Seedling Palace was more difficult than it should have been. It felt like the path kept trying to twist back and latch onto something that wasn¡¯t there. Unlike when the pull had drawn me here, the path couldn¡¯t seem anything to hook onto even when I allowed it to follow the impulse to return to this place. I tried some of the other shadows in the vicinity with the same results. At best, I exited the paths out of the shadow I had abandoned the man in and at worst, I couldn¡¯t get the path to anchor anywhere.

    After multiple fruitless attempts, I had to admit that I wasn¡¯t going to force my way through the problem. If I couldn¡¯t get the the shadows to work like they should here, then I just had to go elsewhere. Perhaps distance would be the key to working my way around the ghost issue if I couldn¡¯t solve it for now.

    I left my presence unblocked. With all the pines around, Mishtaw would likely be able to find me if I didn¡¯t make my way to the Seedling Palace first. Better that and the lecture that would likely come with it, than getting caught up in another fight with death bringers or Peace Keepers who attacked first and noticed details like black lips later¡ªwith the purge still going strong.

    I kept my sling at the ready as well. The woods might make it more difficult to get a good shot, but even a slightly bad one might buy me some time for my next move while my possible attacker dodged the stone.

    Having already walked the path once, it wasn¡¯t terribly difficult finding my way back to the healer¡¯s cave. Not when the path itself had been a mostly straight shot across the mountainside. It was also a certainly faster trip than when we had been lugging wounded behind us.

    I stopped on the edge of the treeline and waited. Mirabeth and her two fake followers might not be around anymore, but that didn¡¯t there wasn¡¯t anyone else. It could have been taken over by death bringers or whisper women who shared too much of Jin¡¯s distaste for me.

    After a quarter of an hour, I didn¡¯t see any movement which was nearly more suspicious than seeing someone. This spot was defensible enough that I doubted it¡¯d be left abandoned.

    But still, I had a choice to make.

    I could try the shadows again and likely make my way back to the Seedling Palace like I was supposed to. Or I could use this unexpected chance to return to this place and see what poisons and other useful ingredients might have been left behind. The ones I had been too busy trying to negate a poison and then surviving an attack to get a closer look at.

    I didn¡¯t strictly need any of it, but there was no telling what kind of interesting things Dahrii might have secreted away in his lair that I had missed¡ªand that was ignoring the things I had noticed but hadn¡¯t had time to collect.

    Prevna thought I should embrace my poisoner¡¯s training. Use all my knowledge with the only acceptable outlet I had left. Be two berries in a casket pod, and both use poison to take down our foes.

    At times I wanted to. Other times, it still felt too close to healing. Most of the time, I simply didn¡¯t devote the time needed to make use of what I knew. Doing so required ingredients and tools, and if I didn¡¯t have those it was a simple matter to say I couldn¡¯t do it. To use the time for other training instead.

    But I could change that now. I would likely find everything I needed in the healer¡¯s cave since I doubted Mirabeth had been given the time she needed to pack all of her things. I could fill my poisoner¡¯s pouch to the brim and use what I took in future encounters. It¡¯d be something I doubted many other whisper women had the skill for. It might be something that would help make me indispensable to a sect.

    I wouldn¡¯t get this chance again I was sure. I had no reason to come back to these mountains, and even if I did, I likely wouldn¡¯t be alone and able to go wherever I wished.

    Choice made, I settled in to wait just a little bit longer to see if anyone would appear given more time. Depending on what I saw, I¡¯d have to decide if going in the front would be best, or if I thought I could slip directly into Dahrii¡¯s lair through the hole in the ceiling we had escaped through before.

 Book 4 - Ch. 53: Surprise Visit

    I ended up creeping around the healer¡¯s campsite and up to the crack in the ground that led straight into Dahrii¡¯s lair. Going in the front felt like it¡¯d be a fool¡¯s errand at best, and I had no desire to see what kind of face Prevna would make if I came back to the Seedling Palace with a spear sticking out of me again. Besides, the lair likely held all the ingredients I would need or could carry, and slipping in and out of one room would be the safest option if this place was occupied.

    So now I was stuck staring down into the hole, trying to decide the best way to the ground below. I had some rope with me but it wasn¡¯t long enough to reach the floor, which wouldn¡¯t have been that big of an issue if I thought it¡¯d at least reach down far enough for me to touch once it was time for me to climb back up.

    But I also didn¡¯t really have any other options to work with unless I wanted to risk dropping inside the lair without the help of the rope which would still have the same issue of how to get back out. Only this time likely with a twisted or broken ankle.

    In the end, I tied the rope to the same tree the whisper women had used when we used the break in the ceiling to escape and then tied my spare pair of pants to the free end of the rope. If everything went to plan, they wouldn¡¯t rip when I used them to climb back up to the rope on the way out.

    Stepping down into the lair felt oddly nostalgic. It hadn¡¯t been that long since I had been here before but more had happened in that time than I¡¯d really given myself time to dwell on. Even now, the weight of the goddess¡¯s presence in the inner valleys pressed on me.

    The small cave hadn¡¯t been cleaned. There were splashes and spots of dried blood dotting the chamber from wounds dealt during the ambush, broken jars, knocked over sacks and ingredients, though most had been saved due to their placement around the edge of the room or hanging overhead.

    Though the hanging dried plants brought their own frustration when I remembered that they were out of my reach. Dahrii would have been able to reach them easily, but not even climbing the rope would help me. He hadn¡¯t hung any right next to hole in the ceiling, likely to decrease the chance sunlight or weather damaging his ingredients.

    I worked my way around the room and began to place what I found into two different piles in the center of the room: things I recognized and the things I found intriguing based on what Dahrii had told me while he bragged about his collection. The things that fell into neither category or that were too ruined to salvage stayed where they were though I didn¡¯t entirely like the waste.

    Still, by the time I finished pilfering what I could, each pile was many times more than what I could fit in my poisoner¡¯s pouch. I¡¯d likely need at least two or three packs if I wanted to bring it all with me. Dahrii had done well in growing his collection even as a Picker with no territory.

    ¡°What are you going to do with it all?¡±

    I startled at the unexpected question and whipped around to find Esie, of all people, leaning against the doorway. She was smiling in that carefree way she had, but some part of me couldn¡¯t quite settle as I realized I hadn¡¯t heard her approach or even noticed that she was watching me at all. Nor had I ever seen her outside of the Seedling Palace. She always seemed to wait to check in on me and pass along any advice the Lady of Calm Waters might have there.

    She chuckled. ¡°So surprised to see me?¡±

    Saying something, anything, would be better than staring at her in mute shock. ¡°How did you find me?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Esie pretended to think. ¡°You did leave your presence unblocked for anyone to find.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°There are no pines down here,¡± she finished for me. ¡°True. But our Lady also has¡­some interest in old knowledge and made an educated guess about what might happen if you were to shadow walk.¡±

    I wanted to step away from her, but I kept my feet firmly planted where they were. I¡¯d always wanted to know more about Esie and the Lady of Calm Waters, and now, in her own way, Esie was giving me hints. Little tidbits to tease at and figure out their significance on my own if I could.

    Though part of me wasn¡¯t sure if I should learn more than what little I had already put together. Despite the special place the Lady of Calm Waters seemed to hold in the Seedling Palace and the things she had already done through Esie to help me, it seemed like the more they drew me into their fold the more dangerous my situation got.

    They were the ones who got me sent away to an active war front, even if it was to help retain my place as a seedling in the Seedling Palace. They were the ones who got Mishtaw to be my mentor which had pushed me onto her travels to check on the relics and the dangerous situations that could entail, including what had happened here in the Lower Broken Spear Peaks, both outside and in. Esie had prompted me to find the mountain spirit with her fixation on wishes by giving me that stone and now she was here, saying that the Lady had more knowledge of how ghosts and shadow paths worked than Mishtaw.

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    All in all, every situation seemed to contain something the goddess wasn¡¯t fond of or, at least, was keeping an eye on.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± The question came off more abrasive than I meant it too, but I think we both knew I was asking about more than what she doing in the healer¡¯s camp.

    Esie shrugged and brushed off the question. ¡°Just a little bit of everything.¡± Then her smiled widened. ¡°Though Kaylan would definitely say ¡®meddling¡¯. That I can¡¯t get enough of it.¡±

    That sounded like the lazy sentry, though I didn¡¯t let myself get dragged along in the conversation by agreeing with her. This time I kept my silence and waited to see what she had to say next.

    ¡°So serious.¡± She raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°Did you deliver the stone?¡±

    I nodded.

    ¡°And what did you think of our Lady¡¯s friend?¡±

    My lips twitched into a frown before I caught myself. I hadn¡¯t liked being at the spirit¡¯s mercy and I had no desire to talk of wishes when the goddess was so close by. Surely, Esie already knew of the spirit¡¯s true nature since she had sent me to her? Unless¡­the Lady of Calm Waters had her give me the mission without divulging any more details?

    But that was difficult to fathom. As far as I could tell, Esie was like the Lady¡¯s second-in-command: the one she trusted the most. If I was going to be let in on the secret of something then, surely, it was something Esie already knew about.

    Was she testing me?

    I answered as vaguely as possible. ¡°She also had a keen interest in¡­old knowledge.¡±

    Esie chuckled again. ¡°I¡¯ve heard she¡¯s quite passionate. I¡¯m glad you were able to complete the favor.¡±

    I decided to press my luck since she was being a little more forthcoming with information than usual. ¡°I¡¯m surprised she¡¯s friends with our Lady given how poorly she seemed to regard the goddess.¡± My voice was more of a whisper by the end, just in case the goddess might hear someone didn¡¯t worship her.

    ¡°It can take a thousand cuts to calm the waters.¡± Esie made an encompassing gesture. ¡°We all take what cuts we can bear to get there. So,¡± she directed her gaze back down to the two piles I had made, ¡°what are you going to do with it all?¡±

    ¡°Prevna thinks I should embrace the poison craft I was taught.¡±

    ¡°And our partners think we¡¯re the meddling ones.¡± Esie caught the way my face felt like it was both trying to drain of color and burst with heat at the way she referred to Prevna¡ªand she burst into laughter.

    ¡°No¡ªwe aren¡¯t¡ªshe isn¡¯t¡ª¡± She just laughed harder as I tried to find the right words to get around my embarrassment and correct her.

    ¡°Oh, I shouldn¡¯t tease.¡± Esie took pity on me as she swallowed a final chuckle and wiped at her eyes as if she had laughed hard enough to cry, though I didn¡¯t see any tears there. ¡°Poison craft could be an interesting skill for you to use, though your background could also make it more complicated than what her blessing allows her to do. You¡¯d be willing to take the risks?¡±

    My jaw clenched. ¡°If I need to.¡±

    She studied me for a moment and then nodded. ¡°I know a place these could be put to good use or stored. I¡¯ll show you when we return to the Seedling Palace.¡±

    ¡°Mishtaw wanted to speak with me,¡± I hedged.

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell her I had to steal you away for important business,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯ll even be true, and you can still speak with your mentor after.¡±

    I agreed and waited for her to tell me why she had bothered to track me down on the mountain and followed me here, instead of waiting for me to return to the Palace.

    She took the hint. ¡°We¡¯ll get these bundled away and you back to Mishtaw, but there is one bit of business our mistress would like to attend to while you¡¯re still on the mountain.¡± Her gaze took in the cave. ¡°Away from prying eyes and ears.¡±

    I stilled and asked, ¡°What would that be?¡±

    ¡°Another favor repaid.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°A promise.¡±

    My teeth gritted at her evasive answers but I didn¡¯t raise to her bait.

    She sighed. ¡°To business then. You¡¯ll be given the chance to earn your last two boons soon, yes?¡±

    I nodded.

    ¡°Good. Earn both, and then after you do, stay in the storm for as long as you can. Focus your attention on Azabel. If you hear anything interesting, let me know and I¡¯ll pass it along.¡±

    My memory flashed to the visions I had seen when I earned the dark sight boon. Was her request supposed to bring about something similar to that?

    Even it was, there was one point I had to clarify first. ¡°Azabel?¡±

    She gave me a tight nod. ¡°The goddess¡¯s sister. You might not hear anything, it can be difficult to glean information from beyond the border, but earning the boon is a special moment.¡± She drew in a deep breath. ¡°Failing that, or if you able to withstand the storm longer, we¡¯d like you to focus on the Lady Blue next.¡±

    ¡°So you want information on the powerful¡­entities outside Her territory?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°And the Lady is willing to count a favor as paid even if I don¡¯t hear anything useful?¡±

    ¡°Yes, it can be¡­grueling to push a boon when it first formed especially when in the storm.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d want to share whatever I heard, if it was like the visions I had, but if a favor would be repaid either way, then it couldn¡¯t hurt to agree and see what I learned.

    I asked, ¡°Why did we need to meet here?¡±

    Esie¡¯s gaze flicked in the direction of the inner valleys. ¡°Some whisper women don¡¯t take kindly to when we try to stretch beyond the border without the goddess or the Chosen¡¯s express permission. But it¡¯s easiest to defend against a threat we know about and they can¡¯t squabble too much when we save them time and resources.¡±

    I could understand her logic even if it seem like a lot of weight to put on the chance that I might glean something. ¡°I¡¯ll do it.¡±

    If worst came to worst and I heard something that seemed like it should be kept between the goddess and me, then I could always keep my lips sealed like I had with the visions and say I wasn¡¯t able to hear anything. Otherwise, if I did learn something helpful, I¡¯d prefer that we weren¡¯t caught unaware.

    ¡°Good.¡± Esie smiled. ¡°Let¡¯s get you back to the Palace then.¡±

 Book 4 - Ch. 54: Esies Second Home

    Esie helped me get down the herbs hanging from the ceiling that fit my criteria before we bundled everything together using a couple of blankets that had been shoved into a corner of the healer¡¯s cave. There were also a handful of healer¡¯s supplies that I found there that could be repurposed to a poisoner¡¯s ends even if they didn¡¯t exactly fit in with the recipes Rawley had taught me. Esie seemed intrigued when I added them to my cache, and while I found myself telling her about how they could be used after a comment here and a look there, she didn¡¯t deride my healer¡¯s training. She knew about it, of course, after the whole trial about whether I had healed Melka by giving her her breath back, but I typically avoided mentioning any part of my childhood. That was always easier than the pity or horror or disgust that most others seemed to have at the idea of being a healer¡¯s daughter, and I had no desire to waste my breath on her.

    Still, Esie seemed more interested in the plants and possible concoctions than anyone else except for Prevna when she was discovering a new natural poison she could use. She also was more¡­knowledgeable than I expected. It wasn¡¯t anything obvious, like using healer¡¯s terms or throwing around complex healing solutions, but she did seem to know exactly what to ask about when it came to the plants and their uses. Like she had experience, but she certainly didn¡¯t have beads in her hair and her wrists didn¡¯t have the poisoner¡¯s mark.

    I kept my suspicions to myself. Esie wasn¡¯t someone I could afford to offend despite her penchant for teasing and acting like she didn¡¯t have a care in the world. As far as I could recall, it was the first time we had talked about something other than the Lady of Calm Waters and her favors, or whatever beautiful thing Esie took me to see during our talks. As it was, I could only take everything I found with her help, so I let her have her secrets even as I wondered what her history was again.

    There was no one else around despite the prime defensible location the healer¡¯s camp held. Esie caught me double checking the caves signs of other people. She informed me that Jin was being very thorough to make sure the purge went exactly how she wanted it. No one was left anywhere on the mountainside; everyone was being collected into her camp to make sure no death bringers could slip through the cracks.

    Part of me worried for the Red Hand, Jika and Kuma¡¯s band. It seemed like they had been barely hanging on to their territory even before the purge and now, with it, there was likely going to be a free for all when all the bands were released. The temptation to expand when there was plenty of unused territory from what the death bringers had conquered and neighboring bands no longer being entrenched in their traditional spots would be too strong. And while any potential death would likely be heavily scrutinized, the bands in the Cut were well known for getting what they wanted without becoming death bringers.

    Not that I could do anything about the purge or what came after. I¡¯d likely have to settle with hearing what happened from Jika if someone actually bothered to bring her to the Seedling Palace now that the villagers had already been moved.

    However, the lack of people in the healer¡¯s cave wasn¡¯t just unsettling because I had expected someone to be making use of its location, but because it was completely empty. No bodies, nothing. Logically, I knew that the whisper women likely hadn¡¯t moved the people who had died during the ambush that had happened here. Just like I knew that it had been more than the necessary five days for the bodies to rise as shamble men. But it was thing for tribe members to get lost in a storm and never turn up again, so we were unable to light a funeral pyre for them, and quite another to walk through a space where I had seen the people die and now, due to their absence, I knew they were likely shuffling toward a Statue Garden.

    We didn¡¯t stay long in the caves before we carried my new cache to a large pine with a strong shadow nearby. Despite Esie never taking me through the shadow paths in the Palace, I thought she¡¯d take my hand and lead me through them this time. It¡¯d be easier for her to take me to the place she wanted to show me and we both knew about the trouble I was having due to the ghost pulling my paths back to where I had left the attacker.

    But, instead, she smiled at me and gestured to the shadow. ¡°Practice makes perfect.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but glare at her a little before I lifted my chin. ¡°Any particular place you want me to go to?¡±

    ¡°Aim for the top of the Scale¡¯s tree. I¡¯ll be able to show you the way from there.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll be able to find me?¡±

    Her smile turned indulgent, which I didn¡¯t like. ¡°Keep your presence open until I crossover. Now quit stalling. Surely, one little snag in your path can¡¯t stop you?¡±

    I stomped my foot down into the shadow, and one gut twisting wrench of gravity later, I was back in the shadow paths. If I had used my visualization of sinking into a lake the transition likely would have been easier, but that would¡¯ve taken longer and not had quite the same impact.

    I could still feel the shadow that wanted to catch the path I was trying to make like a hole I couldn¡¯t patch, but it helped that it was no longer directly in the way of where I wanted even if it was close by. I struggled longer than I¡¯d like admit getting the path to stretch to the Seedling Palace rather than sliding sideways to where the other shadow was. But eventually I got the path anchored to the darkest shadow I could feel in the Scale sect¡¯s tree and I dragged my blanket full of ingredients along as quick as I could.

    I stepped out of the shadow paths to a place I¡¯d never been before. Pine cone lanterns lit up a wide branch in front of me, but the place I had stepped out into seemed like a large alcove sunk deep in shadow. A handful of others were in alcove as well or leaving it for the more crowded lit up area. I had no desire to join the crowd, but I knew better than to hover in one of the shadow paths¡¯ main hubs, which was what this had to be. I slipped to the edge of the wide branch and turned to take in the area.

    My breath caught.

    The ¡°alcove¡± I had just left was actually part of a statue that looked like it been grown from the tree itself. It was a giant sized balance scale made out of branches braided together and then the long blue-black and purple needles of the Palace¡¯s pines twisted around each other in a cord at least as thick as I was wide, but that managed to look delicate with the size of the statue. At the end of one cord was the shadowed ball I had used to leave the shadows while the scale tilted up, as if that ball weighed it to the ground, and the other end of the scale had a shorter cord of needles that held up a cluster of pine cone lanterns. Her fire and shadows, weighed in balance, even if they didn¡¯t match each other.

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    ¡°Some like to debate whether the fire or shadows are supposed to hold more significance,¡± Esie said as she snuck up next to me and I glowered at her again. ¡°The majority agree that the shadows win because they obviously are supposed to weigh more in the balance but others like to point out that the fire holds a more lofty position while the shadow ball is being smashed into the ground.¡±

    I clenched my jaw but after the repeated surprise I couldn¡¯t help but push her a little. ¡°What do you think?¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°I say they¡¯re perfectly balanced.¡± I tried to protest but she was already walking away and motioning me to follow her. ¡°Not exactly the top of the tree, but it shouldn¡¯t take us to long to get to where we¡¯re going.¡±

    Whisper women stared at us as we passed with our blankets full of stuff, but they all seemed to recognize Esie and then resolve to ignore the oddity when they did. She tossed out a few quick comments to those we passed and it didn¡¯t take long for some of my suspicions to become a certainty.

    I asked, ¡°You¡¯re a Scale?¡±

    She shrugged one shoulder. ¡°As much as your mentor is both Seeker and Peacekeeper.¡±

    I wanted to ask which one she was more obligated to: Scale or the Lady of Calm Waters, even if I knew it was a stupid question, but she picked up her pace through a series of quick turns and I lost my chance and the idiotic impulse to ask that question with it. She was already sharing more than she ever had before I completed the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ favor. Patience would get me further than recklessly pressing for answers every other minute.

    We stopped high up in the tree. High enough that there was more sky than pine needles all around us for once. It was another landing like the whisper women¡¯s residential areas with a dome on one side and a balcony around it, except on this one was balcony was four times as wide as normal with some elevated areas and some level. The dome sap building was also larger than normal with multiple windows on every side and what looked like one for an air vent at the top.

    But more than that, more than anything else, two thirds of of the balcony was filled with plants and even a small pond, like the garden in the Seed Landing. I could tell that they had all been placed where they would grow best¡ªand in the remaining space there was clearly a work area with a fire pit and other tools for preparing plants.

    I turned my wide gaze on Esie as my hands gestured helplessly to the poisoner¡¯s marks on my wrists, where the beads had hung from my hair. ¡°Is this yours? But you don¡¯t have anything.¡±

    Her smile turned a little sardonic. ¡°I don¡¯t like to have anything so easily identifiable. Kaylan would say I¡¯m a poisoner, but I prefer ¡®herbalist¡¯. A little less intimidating, don¡¯t you think?¡±

    It still felt like all the words had been snatched from my mind upon seeing the balcony full of plants.

    Esie sighed. ¡°I wish I could have the Warming Winds celebration up here¡ªit¡¯s so much easier to get a good view of the sky¡ªbut then it would be less fun and more telling everyone off for stepping on the belladonnas.¡± She gestured to the dome. ¡°You can put your findings in the storage dome. I used to do more work in there but I found I like the balcony better.¡±

    I did as she said, though I had to stop and marvel again when I actually entered the storage dome. Everything, contrary to Esie¡¯s normal demeanor, was carefully labeled and stored efficiently. My blankets of pilfered goods stood out in a bad way against how organized everything else was, but I put them in an unused corner and promised myself that I¡¯d get them just as organized when I had time. Soon.

    When I rejoined Esie, she gave me a sidelong glance. ¡°Do you like it? I heard you took to the garden in the Seed Landing.¡±

    I nodded and waited for what else she had to said.

    She didn¡¯t make me wait long. ¡°If you¡¯re more interested in poisons now, I could teach you some. As I represent our Lady¡¯s interests, and she¡¯s your patron, we wouldn¡¯t be violating the mentor ban. Though if we also have our way, that ban will no longer be in place once you join a sect.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d teach me? Just like that?¡± I surveyed the whole platform again. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you mention any of this before?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t the right time.¡±

    I frowned. That could have any number of meanings. Anything from the possibility that I hadn¡¯t been in the right headspace after getting cut off from healing to the possibility that I hadn¡¯t been entrenched enough with my patron and Esie, to the mere possibility that she didn¡¯t have time before. Even if she acted like she did.

    ¡°And now is?¡± I asked. ¡°Will the sect I join even allow me to have mentors outside of them?¡±

    ¡°So quick to dismiss the Seeker and Scale sects? I¡¯m surprised,¡± Esie said. ¡°Besides, you¡¯re a special case. I doubt Mishtaw will want to let you go after all the work she put into you and most know better than to gainsay our Lady. Nor can I guarantee that the sects will take up your learning in earnest even if we get the ban dropped. They won¡¯t want to get on the wrong side of the enemies you¡¯ve made.¡±

    ¡°So what am I supposed to do?¡± I demanded.

    She gave me a look of mild appraisal. ¡°What you¡¯ve been doing. Using the allies you¡¯ve made and been given. Taking charge of your own learning. Make yourself useful so that even others want to kick you out they can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Everyone seems to have an opinion how I should go about joining a sect.¡± The complaint slipped out before I could stop it but she just laughed.

    ¡°Of course we do. Whisper women always try to influence the candidates they¡¯re interested in. It¡¯s what makes the sect declaration ceremony so much fun¡ªseeing who got their wish and who didn¡¯t.¡±

    I pressed, ¡°And you don¡¯t have any input on which sect I join?¡±

    ¡°That choice is up to you. Just like the choice is yours to make it out of sheer stubborn pride or something a bit more thought out.¡±

    She didn¡¯t even have to say any sect names and I could tell what she was implying. If I wanted to go the sheer stubborn route I¡¯d try to join the Peacekeepers or the Hundred Eyes purely because that¡¯s the sects my enemies belonged to. The idea of that did appeal to me on some level, especially when paired with the vision of triumphing over them despite them trying to keep me in the bottom ranks. Or I could pick any of the other sects for whatever benefits they could provide me, including the fact that Jin and whoever else didn¡¯t like me didn¡¯t belong to them.

    I didn¡¯t have a clear answer on what I wanted to decide yet. It felt like I was trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces, but I also wouldn¡¯t get those pieces until I joined a sect and ultimately found out how well they fit or not.

    ¡°Well, let¡¯s not keep your mentor waiting,¡± Esie said while conveniently ignoring how long we had already made Mishtaw wait.

    But then I pictured how worried and annoyed Prevna likely was, and I decided that trying to pry more answers out of Esie could wait until I caught up with her and Mishtaw. We stepped through a shadow that pooled at the back of Esie¡¯s storage hut and back out the main shadow in Mishtaw¡¯s residential area.

    Prevna¡¯s arms wrapped around me before I even made it two steps out of the shadow, despite the other people around. I awkwardly patted her shoulder. Not quite able to return the embrace with the sudden overwhelming nature of it and all the eyes watching, but also because I knew she wasn¡¯t going to appreciate it when I told her I had taken another risk without her.

    I stepped back and she let me go. I gave her a tight smile. ¡°Made it.¡±

 Book 4 - Ch. 55: Whats in a Patrons Name

    It didn¡¯t take Prevna long to get the short version of why it taken me so long to meet up with them. She put on a brave face for me, but I could tell she didn¡¯t like the implication of the ghost¡¯s shadow drawing my paths to it, nor was she pleased to find that I had braved the healer¡¯s camp on my own when it could have been full of enemies. Like I predicted, however, she was mollified that I had done it to get ingredients for poison making and that there hadn¡¯t actually been anyone there.

    She also pointed out that there there were plenty of gardens and other plants hanging at various points all over the Seedling Palace that I could have gotten my ingredients from. I defended myself by saying those couldn¡¯t necessarily hold up to a poisoner¡¯s dedicated collection, especially when it came to his concoctions. Prevna gave me her knowing smile and we left it at that in favor of focusing on Esie and Mishtaw.

    Ever since we stepped out of the shadow there had been an odd tension between my two benefactors. While Prevna and I spoke they were exchanging their own greetings and information about the state of the inner valleys and the purge outside them. Now they seemed to stepping closer to the matter that had them at odds as the tension rose higher.

    ¡°Is your Lady accepting visitors?¡± Mishtaw asked. ¡°If she¡¯s going to be giving my apprentice assignments in the future, perhaps it¡¯d be best if we coordinated in person.¡±

    ¡°A mentorship at our behest,¡± Esie said, her voice light and smile still in place. Everything about how she said it made it seem like it should have been an idle comment or a wry joke. I think she could have made it wholly into that, but she chose not to hide the warning in her eyes.

    Mishtaw stood her ground. ¡°What I take on, I take on wholly.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps. In your own way, but I will be mentoring Gimley too. She¡¯s expressed interest in expanding her knowledge on poisons.¡±

    ¡°And you think that¡¯s wise? With her history?¡± Mishtaw¡¯s expression turned bitter. ¡°But what¡¯s another risk when you already¡ª¡± She cut herself off as she glanced over at Prevna and me. Then she spoke to Creed who had been waiting patiently behind her the entire time, ¡°Take them home. It seems Esie and I have some¡­understandings we need to reach.¡±

    It was clear they were speaking about me. Curiosity was like a craving on my tongue, to figure out exactly what Mishtaw didn¡¯t like about the mission Esie had given me at the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ behest. But I followed Creed with Prevna back to Mishtaw¡¯s home. The whisper women weren¡¯t going to speak openly with us listening in and I didn¡¯t want to press my luck with either of them.

    Not yet. Not when Esie was opening up to me a little bit more and had promised to help me work with plants again. Not with everything Mishtaw had just gone through in the inner valleys.

    So Prevna and I settled on our bench on the balcony while Creed bustled around checking on things until some of his family showed up with Pip, his son. Pip proved to be a powerful distraction until it got to be his bedtime. I thought Creed would join his family when they left, but instead he bid them goodnight and settled against the smooth brown wall of Mishtaw¡¯s home to face us.

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to wait on us,¡± Prevna said.

    Creed shook his head slowly. ¡°You¡¯re right about that, you two take care of yourselves real well, but best to have this conversation tonight. There¡¯s no good place, not when everything is Her territory, but at least we know She¡¯s distracted.¡±

    ¡°What conversation?¡± I asked, tone sharp.

    He rested his head back against the dome and waved a hand. ¡°A necessary one, but Mishtaw should be the one to lead it, not me.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°What¡¯s taking her so long?¡±

    Prevna poked me. ¡°Think she¡¯s searching a healer¡¯s den for goodies?¡± I glared at her and she laughed. ¡°Apparently, you¡¯re a riveting topic.¡±

    I huffed out a breath and turned my glare on scenery. I doubted that her and Esie could have been talking about me this entire time no matter what mentorships or assignments they might be debating. They had other responsibilities. Perhaps one of those had taken priority over returning here.

    Everything was dark by the time Mishtaw returned. Only the pine cone lanterns lit up warm pools of light against the soft backdrop of pine needles brushing against each other and the patches of starry sky peeking through them. It made the whole frantic day from the moment Mishtaw arrived on the edge of the inner valleys to the goddess taking over the audience chamber to kicking the villagers out of their home feel like a particularly vivid dream. Even my new issue with walking the shadow paths and meeting Esie felt distant. Like somehow, we had never gone to the mountains, that that whole misadventure couldn¡¯t have happened when everything was so calm here.

    It was like no one knew the goddess had showed up where no one expected Her to ever go and then irrevocably changed things in the inner valleys with a single command. But perhaps they didn¡¯t. It wasn¡¯t like the goddess went around announcing her movements.

    Or perhaps those that knew also knew better than to spread the information. All that was likely to cause was panic or trouble. After all, none of us could influence the goddess¡¯s actions but there were those who¡¯d likely feel entitled to teaching the village boys a lesson if they learned about their origins or that might seek out the audience chamber without taking the proper precautions if they learned about the significance it now held for the goddess.

    Prevna was dozing against me but she sat up with a start when Mishtaw stepped onto the platform. Mishtaw looked tired, more worn out than I was used to seeing her. She gestured for us to join her before she stepped inside the dome. Prevna scrubbed at her face to wake herself up and then we crowded in after Mishtaw with Creed taking up the rear. He set about securing the door flap so it was completely closed while Mishtaw handed us cushions to sit on.

    We settled in the open area of her home. Really, we didn¡¯t strictly need the cushions since that space was dominated by a large, soft grass and needle rug woven with intricate patterns but she always insisted on providing them. Prevna had asked her about the rug before but all we learned was that it was a gift from Eliss. Overhead was one of the smallest pine cone lanterns I had ever seen, only half the size of my head, but it still did a good of lighting up the space.

    Once the door was as secure as it was going to get Creed join us with his own cushion and Mishtaw finally spoke.

    ¡°Your patience is appreciated. I had an unexpected meeting with the Lady of Calm Waters, but this isn¡¯t a conversation we should put off, especially not when you already ran afoul of some of the dangers of the shadow paths I took too long in mentioning.¡±

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    My eyes flared wide open. ¡°You met with my patron?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°She often keeps her own council, but this time she was¡­gracious enough to hear my concerns.¡±

    ¡°You know who she is?¡±

    Mishtaw¡¯s head tilted slightly. ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± And then she sighed, muttering, ¡°Esie and her games.¡±

    I realized I was an idiot for not asking Mishtaw about my patron sooner even if it always felt like I was supposed to figure out the secret of her identity myself. That I shouldn¡¯t pry too deep in case Esie and her changed their minds about me if I couldn¡¯t figure it out.

    Mishtaw caught my gaze, ¡°Who was the one who calmed the waters of the coast for over half a century until now? The one who killed more of the Lady Blue¡¯s minions than the rest of us combined until she hid with her creatures in the depths?¡±

    She nodded as she saw realization flood my face. ¡°The Thousand Cut Witch.¡±

    Kaylan had told me about her when we were stuck up in the scout¡¯s nest together. The legendary whisper woman who stopped the endless fight with the fish for longest period in known memory. The one who had carved up her own skin to kill scores of the Lady Blue¡¯s creatures until they hid and she had no more skin to cut.

    It was no one wonder Esie was given such leniency as her intermediary or that no one was willing to cross her. She might be older than Grandmother and unable to use her blessing, but there was no doubt that she was a living legend that had done more than her part for the goddess.

    I gathered my thoughts at the revelation while Creed filled Prevna in on who the Thousand Cut Witch was and what she was known for.

    She asked, ¡°Why did her title change?¡±

    Creed shrugged. ¡°Someone decided at some point to venerate her for her greatest accomplishment rather possibly risk causing her discomfort by referring to her by a title for a blessing she could no longer use.¡±

    Mishtaw drew in a long breath. ¡°But that is beside the point. She has her own plans for you, Gimley. Plans that will be¡ªalready have been¡ªdangerous. She shouldn¡¯t have set you on the path to find that cave.¡±

    I knew that her and Esie¡¯s involvement weren¡¯t always going to be to my benefit. The transactional nature of her favors and only helping me when I was at my lowest and in no position to decline spoke to that, no matter how good Esie was at disarming the people around her. But this first favor? Delivering a stone? That had taken a different turn than I expected and I couldn¡¯t help but want to find out why exactly interacting with the spirit was so dangerous¡ªother than her animosity towards the goddess.

    Creed leaned forward. ¡°You said you delivered the stone? You met the cave¡¯s¡­owner?¡±

    Prevna and I shared a look and in that moment we decided it was best to no longer hold what we experienced so close to our chest. We told them everything we knew about the mountain spirit, the entity that had visited me in my dreams and pulled us into waking ones in the Night Cave. The only thing I think that we both glossed over was our answers to the entity¡¯s probing questions to determine what we wished for. That seemed a step removed from whatever plans the Lady of Calm Waters had and it was too personal to just blurt out, besides.

    Both Mishtaw and Creed looked ashen by the time we finished detailing all of our encounters with the entity. Creed had his head in his hands while a tendon in Mishtaw¡¯s forearm stood out from how hard she was gripping the hilt of her eating knife.

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± Mishtaw visibly collected herself. ¡°It¡¯s dangerous to meet a wish maker, much less keep its attention. Do you know the story of Grislander?¡±

    Her question was directed at Prevna. Given that I had sheltered in Grislander¡¯s Maw every cold season before coming to the Seedling Palace I would have had to have been a particularly sheltered fool not to know it. I knew that Prevna did as well. She had known it in passing already, but I had also told her the tale when she asked me to tell her one of the legends I knew. Something we occasionally did on a quiet night to pass the time.

    At Prevna¡¯s confirmation, Mishtaw continued, ¡°Those tribes that rose the great beast? They were preyed upon by a wish maker and now we all suffer for it. Wish makers might promise great power, the possibility to achieve anything you set your mind to but it is nothing but a trap that catches you to await the goddess¡¯s judgment.¡±

    ¡°There are others?¡± I asked.

    Mishtaw nodded. ¡°I¡¯ve heard of a handful during my time caring for the relics. Scattered all across the goddess¡¯s territory, though some are just my conjecture based on the legends in the area. They are not something you should seek out. The goddess doesn¡¯t take kindly to others pretending to have Her power nor do the wish makers truly wish to help. I¡¯m not sure how it works, but from what I learned they seem to think that pulling people from the goddess¡¯s influence and granting them wishes will increase their own power. Help them grow their territories like that cave, possibly weakening the goddess, though I doubt that¡¯s possible.¡±

    We just stared at her. More questions crowded my tongue but I couldn¡¯t quite decide what to ask. How did she know about the wish makers and their capabilities? Were the others like the dream entity? Why were wishes not constantly popping up if there were these entities offering to fulfill people¡¯s desires? How was she able to identify the cave as a wish maker¡¯s domain? Had she met the dream entity?

    Creed picked up the warning lecture, ¡°We don¡¯t know the meaning of the stone, but nothing good comes from getting mixed up with one of those creatures. If you make a wish you¡¯d be lucky to live as long as the tribes that got crushed under their own creation rather than facing the goddess¡¯s wrath for encroaching on her domain. That kind of power isn¡¯t for us.¡±

    My teeth ground together. ¡°Why would Esie send me to find the mountain spirit¡ªwish maker then?¡±

    ¡°Like I said, the Lady of Calm Waters has her own plans, not that she shared them with me. Most whisper women don¡¯t even know about them. Safer that way, so she shouldn¡¯t have sent you directly into the monster¡¯s den,¡± said Mishtaw.

    My instinct was to hunt down Esie and demand answers¡ªand I knew I likely wouldn¡¯t be able to restrain myself when I saw her next, but I also knew getting those answers would be like prying teeth. She had already asked about my meeting with the entity but hadn¡¯t given any information away about the reason for the mission or hinted at all these dire warnings Mishtaw and Creed had.

    I hesitated before asking, ¡°Do you think she¡¯ll send me to meet another one?¡±

    Mishtaw¡¯s face pinched. ¡°I don¡¯t know, but even the Lady of Calm Waters knows better than to try the goddess¡¯s temper.¡±

    Prevna shifted so her shoulder touched mine. ¡°If she tries to give you any more stones just chuck them from the Palace.¡±

    ¡°And if that makes the Lady angry?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll deal with it.¡±

    It¡¯d be a terrible idea to make the Lady of Calm Waters angry when her patronage had been in key in allowing me to retain my position as a seedling and then gain Mishtaw as a mentor, not to mention the favors I still owed her or Esie¡¯s promise of training, but between my experiences with the entity and now Mishtaw and Creed¡¯s dire warning, it really didn¡¯t seem like a good idea to tangle with a wish maker.

    My mind felt heavy with all the events of the day. I needed time to parse through everything we¡¯d been through and what I¡¯d learned. Mishtaw saw my struggle.

    ¡°We can¡¯t speak freely of wish makers. As with gaining life, it¡¯s best to do so as little as possible. Keep in mind what we told you and if the Lady does try to send you on another mission involving them, at least now you have the information to make an informed decision.¡±

    Creed thumped me on the back. ¡°If you have trouble, come to us.¡±

    Mishtaw agreed. ¡°I might not be the Thousand Cut Witch and you might have a nose for finding every trouble imaginable, but we¡¯ll do what we can to help.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t look at them. Those offers were so far removed from anything I was used to expecting that I wasn¡¯t sure how to handle them. If I even wanted to accept them. If it came down to it I could figure things out on my own. I always did. And they¡¯d be less at risk then¡ª

    Prevna leaned harder against me. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure she does. Some things are better faced together than alone.¡±

    I fought off the flush that threatened to crawl up my neck and onto my cheeks. Sometimes, I wished she wasn¡¯t quite so good at knowing what I was thinking. But they were all looking at me expectantly now so I allowed, ¡°If it comes to that.¡±

    ¡°Good. Now let¡¯s get some rest. No matter how long this day was, there¡¯s always more to do tomorrow.¡± Mishtaw rose and took her own advice as she disappeared into her sleeping area.

    Creed left to return to his own living quarters while Prevna and I settled into our alcove. My mind buzzed with all the unanswered questions I had, the duality between Esie¡¯s behavior and what information she decided to share or withhold, the terrifying experience it had been to be confronted with the goddess¡¯s presence and a the honest debate about whether it was better to risk Her attention or be burned by lava. My mind buzzed and yet it didn¡¯t seem long before sheer exhaustion took over and pulled me into a dreamless sleep.

 Notice about Book 4 - Ch. 56

    Sorry for the delay but I think this chapter will be the last chapter of book four and that''s putting pressure on how I wrap up the book. I keep changing what I want to focus on in the chapter which has, unfortunately, led to the chapter not being done on time. I should have the chapter out tomorrow! Thank you for your patience and for reading! Please let me know if there are any lingering threads you really want to know about for this book, because I think I feel like I''m missing something for the conclusion and that might be the hint I need to get the chapter settled properly.

    Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

    Also, as a separate note, next week might not be the first chapter of the new book but rather a glossary drop for one of the books. That will help me gather all the lore bits I''ve scattered throughout the story to make sure I''m not contradicting myself and hopefully give you all something easier to refer to. I''ll let you know whether I decide to go ahead with the chapter or the glossary for next week when I post the chapter tomorrow! Thank you again for your patience!

 Book 4 - Ch: 56: The Hierarchy of Things

    My time in oblivious, dreamless sleep didn¡¯t last long. Apparently, I wasn¡¯t allowed a bit of peace even after such an eventful day. Perhaps I could have gone throughout the night without one if left to myself, but ever since that first nightmare on the mountainside my dreams weren¡¯t always my own.

    That night I dreamed. Felt the brush of too long fingers around my neck, the night sky under my feet and the Silver Forest overhead. It was as if I had never left the Night Cave. The wish maker¡¯s voice was still the grinding, rustling mix of rocks and rustling leaves.

    ¡°Call me mountain spirit, call me entity or wish maker. Try to keep your distance and stifle that wish that burns ever brighter in your heart. Try. But when your desire becomes need and you can deny yourself no longer, call me as the men did: Minhel. I will answer your call and help you give rise to your wish.¡±

    Her cloying fingers slid away from my skin and I snapped awake. Scowled at the ceiling and carefully sat up against the wall so I wouldn¡¯t wake Prevna with my movement. The wish maker might not leave the inner valleys, but I didn¡¯t appreciate how far she could reach with her dreams.

    She might think herself clever in hinting that my turning to her was inevitable. That pushing me away might instead draw my interest in her, but I was fully willing to accept the challenge. I¡¯d keep my distance. If not due to Mishtaw¡¯s warnings or the threat of drawing the goddess¡¯s ire, then because of sheer stubbornness.

    The entity might think she could manipulate me. Push me until I caved to desire and asked her to give me everything I wanted, but I didn¡¯t need some mystical wish to get what I wanted. Not did I like the thought of being handed what I wanted. I¡¯d earn my respect, plain and simple.

    And everyone else who thought they could twist my goals to their own ends could choke.

    The Lady of Calm Waters. Esie. The wish maker. Any and all the whisper women who might want to take advantage of my blessing. Part of me raged at the idea that they thought I¡¯d simply go along with what they wanted or couldn¡¯t see what they were trying to do.

    I¡¯d always known that the Lady of Calm Waters hadn¡¯t shown interest in me out of the goodness of her heart. That wasn¡¯t how the world worked. But her favor had helped and I didn¡¯t like to be in debt. Now? After learning her identity? Part of me was even more interested in meeting with her, learning what she was trying to do, what knowledge she might have. The rest of me was bitterly bracing for the moment when I learned why she had selected me, why she kept indebting me with favors, why she had sent me into the wish maker¡¯s path. And if the true goal of that had been our meeting or if the stone really had more significance than any of us knew. Or both.

    The same went for Esie. Despite myself, I liked her¡ªshe made it easy. I wanted to learn more about poisons, see what she could teach me, but I could also never quite forget that she was the Lady of Calm Water¡¯s intermediary. She had her own agenda and she was apt at not showing her hand unless she wanted you to see it. I wasn¡¯t sure if she saw me as a person or if I was merely a tool for her Lady¡¯s will in the end. Again, perhaps both.

    They both seemed to be the type to have multiple purposes for everything they did.

    I¡¯d keep with them for now. Learn what I could and determine whether it really was in my best interest to go along with their plans. Still, if I broke with them I was under no illusions: if the Lady of Calm Water¡¯s patronage could keep my place in the Seedling Palace, then her enmity would likely ruin my chances as a whisper woman quicker and more throughly then Jin¡¯s ever could.

    Overall, our trip to the lower Broken Spear Peaks had been eye opening in a way I hadn¡¯t expected. From seeing how the bands lived in the Cut to the villagers hidden away in the valleys, the inner valleys themselves, the wish maker and Azabel¡¯s abandoned audience chamber¡­all of it served as reminder that what I knew from growing up in the Gabbler Shore tribe wasn¡¯t how the whole world worked even if it made the most sense to me.

    Just as it served as a reminder that the goddess¡¯s power and influence wasn¡¯t as omnipotent as it often felt. I waited to be struck through by a pine tree root, but seemed either the goddess¡¯s had more important matters to tend to than my thoughts or she didn¡¯t have the wish maker¡¯s ability at infiltrating minds.

    It was easy to forget that there was another whole territory to the east, just as massive as the goddess¡¯s, when living in Her territory was all I knew. But the inner valleys had been nothing like Heliquat¡¯s territory. Apparently, the goddess¡¯s sister was inspired by more than pine trees, snow, and scrub land.

    More and more, it was difficult to live with the notion that we lived in complete isolation from the other half of the world. Especially when Azabel¡¯s Envoys were stealing harps and there was fear they might do something with the throne.

    Just like my naive notion that all whisper women were strong and respected and powerful had been mostly disabused. That might be true in comparison to a tribe member, but in the Seedling Palace itself? That was hardly the case.

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    Each sect had their own hierarchy within themselves and in relation to each other. Hundred Eyes seemed to be the most prominent given that the High Priestess came from their number, with the Peacekeepers as a close second given all the influence they accrued from fighting the goddess¡¯s battles. The Scales were third, though their position of power could surge higher depending on the situation, like with my trial. After them came the Beastwatchers. The Caretakers and Seekers placed among the bottom rankings, though I hadn¡¯t quite been able to pinpoint which one everyone else considered to be at the true bottom. Their members were both fragmented between different locations or interests and that seemed to curtail the influence they could have on the other sects.

    I knew that there more intricacies than that as well, with the different groups that crossed sect lines, but I¡¯d never truly put in the effort to memorize the names and faces, suspected goals and interests. I¡¯d liked doing my own thing, focusing on my own select group and skills, just like I had growing up. It was what I was used to, if nothing else.

    But now we were poised to join the larger whole, because while I might still cling to my independence, there was no denying that joining a sect would change things. Nor could I opt of making the decision. I doubted that whisper women that failed to pick a sect stayed whisper women for very long, unless, at that point, they were assigned a sect and forced to make the best of it.

    I¡¯d likely find out. Since, even if I picked a sect, there was no guarantee they¡¯d welcome me.

    Perhaps, it¡¯d be best if I spent the remaining time we had to use my memory for something other than plants and myths. If I made myself have the patience to listen and pay attention, I¡¯d likely have much a better idea about the sects by the time it was time to pick one.

    But my memory tent wasn¡¯t endless. Nor could I set my knowledge there and ignore it. Everything had to be reviewed periodically, checked to make sure the associations and other tricks I had to keep knowledge fresh still were strong and not turned fuzzy. If I was turn my attention to whisper women as a whole, the knowledge would likely rival my garden of plants outside the tent or my storage of the myths and legends. Something would have to be cleared to make room for the new knowledge.

    And did I really want to have such clear recall of faces and relationships? Would I even be able to make use of the knowledge if I did, or would my previous actions and attitude thwart me? I could use such knowledge as she did, to blackmail or threaten, and be all the more hated for it. Nor had she really risen higher than her position as the tribe¡¯s healer.

    I didn¡¯t want to be like that woman.

    Not in the least.

    But going in blind wouldn¡¯t be smart either. Already my lack of information was hampering my decision on which sect would be best to join and this wasn¡¯t a decision that could be easily changed once made. Mishtaw was the only whisper woman I knew that might have changed sects during her time as a seedling.

    First came earning my last two boons, and seeing how Esie¡¯s proposition to use those new boons played out, but then my time to make a decision would rapidly run out.

    It wasn¡¯t something I could decide now, in the gloom of Mishtaw¡¯s home, while I was still processing everything that had happened in the mountains. That was fine. To be expected, really.

    It didn¡¯t mean, however, that I couldn¡¯t prepare.

    My memory tent unfolded around me in my mind¡¯s eye until I was there. The large pot that held my recent memories off to one side, the various other lessons and memories stored along its edges. The sack stuffed full of memories of Prevna shoved in one dark corner. I ignored them all and stepped out of the tent to take in the sprawling landscape of plants.

    Each a testament to a childhood¡¯s worth of training and learning. Each still kept relatively fresh by an indulgent habit of reviewing information I could no longer use. I could see the points where I had marked out information useful for poisons, or that might not count as healing, general information such as the plant¡¯s name and key characteristics that didn¡¯t affect healing one way or the other.

    I could cut out the parts I could no longer use. The knowledge wouldn¡¯t immediately be gone but I would no longer have a way to renew it easily. Less temptation that way to use my healing knowledge while learning under Esie about poisons. I could keep only the knowledge about what would hurt others.

    Turn my back on everything she had taught me. Destroy that last bit of legacy.

    But could I?

    Being a healer¡¯s daughter might have hurt me, but healing itself had given me the best refuge I¡¯d ever known. Could I abandon it again, fully this time, without rage and loss pushing me beyond reason? It was lost to me, had been for years, but the outside world had no hold on what I kept in my memory tent.

    Clinging to their desires and fear of what the world held for them had done the villagers no favors in the end. The wish maker was just as constrained by her nature despite her fervor in opposing the goddess. The fire dancers had been forced to continue their dance long after their maker abandoned them.

    Was my refusal to let go of my knowledge similar?

    Did it even matter?

    Would I be able to accept the future that was coming, whether I liked it or not, better if I stopped holding onto the past? Or could my healing knowledge still prove useful in the end?

    I set my jaw. No matter what I might still secretly wish at times I had no future as a healer. I refused to be limited.

    I drew my eating knife from my belt. Knelt in front of the first plant: a frostbite berry bush. Then I ruthlessly cut through the branches that represented how it could be used to heal until all that was left a few scraggly branches that would served as a reminder on how it might be identified and used to poison.

    I knelt in front of the next and cut. Over and over again. It was more than time to let go of the past so that I could better embrace the future. If there were tears, well, there was no one else to see in the privacy of my mind. Not even the wish maker would be able to peer in through a dream now that I was cutting out the last bit of wishful thinking by the root.

    Now I would have the space to spare for whatever I might need to learn. Now I wouldn¡¯t need to fear following the poisoner¡¯s path in case my hand strayed too close to healing. The goddess might not be omnipotent but it was more than clear that Her will was absolute.

    - End of Book 4 -

 Glossary for Book Two

    Glossary ¨C Book 2

    Characters

    <h2>Seedlings, Sprouts, and Saplings</h2>

    Gimley¡¯s Cohort

    Andhi (Awnd-hi) ¨C Friendly to almost everyone though she is prejudiced against Gimley and has bad history with Loclen. Closest with Ulo.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can create ice talons from her fingertips.</li>

    </ul>

    Breck ¨C From the Haggler¡¯s Cliffs. Is typically bored until there something risky and exciting happening to bring out the dare devil in her. Likes difficult odds but not impossible ones. Closest with Juniper¡¯s group when she isn¡¯t being a loner.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can ¡°wrangle¡± things. Draws the attention of enemies within 30 feet so they attack her and increases her strength.</li>

    </ul>

    Dera ¨C She¡¯s quiet and sweet and has a head for numbers and calculations. She¡¯s closest to Wren but is friendly with most of the cohort.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can shape bone with her will if she maintains her concentration.</li>

    </ul>

    Ento (En-to) ¨C From the Swirling Waters tribe. Grounds Idra and Juniper and lets them do most of the talking though sometimes she does have a dry comment to make. Nearly joined at the hip with Idra, protective of Juniper, and mostly ambivalent of everyone else.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Creates three different rings around herself with daggers connected to each ring.</li>

    </ul>

    Gimley (Gim-lee)/Gimlea (Gim-lay-ah) - Main character. Stubborn and has a need for control. From the Gabbler Shore tribe and known as ¡°Little Diver¡± to some whisper women. Doesn¡¯t want to get close to anyone and somehow allowed Prevna to form a friendship with her anyway. Adventurous, independent and lonely.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can¡¯t die.</li>

    </ul>

    Idra (Ee-dra) ¨C From the Swirling Waters tribe. Has more than her share of pride. Nearly joined at the hip with Ento and protective of Juniper though sometimes she wishes she didn¡¯t have to guard the younger girl.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Creates an invisible dome shield that people and things can exit from but can¡¯t enter.</li>

    </ul>

    Juniper ¨C From the Swirling Waters tribe. Melancholy air and can be a strong leader or a fearful mess depending on if fighting fish or heights are involved. Closest with Ento and Idra though she does also privately look up to Gimley and would like to be better friends with Prevna and Breck.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can summon fresh water by cupping her hands together. Also has a pearl that allows her to form a sphere of water from the water she summons.</li>

    </ul>

    Loclen (Lock-lin) ¨C From the Arches. Isn¡¯t an early riser and takes pride in her intelligence. Formed a mostly one-sided rivalry with Gimley and is closest with Nii, Wren, and Dera.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can blend in with shadows. In a darker environment this makes her effectively invisible while in a brighter environment she¡¯d just be more difficult to spot.</li>

    </ul>

    Nii/Sanii ¨C Takes pride in her strength and her blessing. Was friendly with Gimley until she learned about her blessing. Then she fell in with Ulo and Andhi until she¡¯s seemed to have another change of heart. Now she¡¯s rekindling her friendship with Loclen.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: All of her ranged attacks/throws can¡¯t miss as long as she can see her target.</li>

    </ul>

    Prevna (Prev-na) ¨C From Milwa¡¯s Picker band. Mischievous and determined and kind. At some point she saw Gimley and thought ¡°Ah, that¡¯s someone I¡¯ll be friends with¡± and she¡¯s made it her mission to make that come true ever since. It worked. She¡¯s also friendly with most of the cohort.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Poison-touched. She can absorb or expel poisons and venom from plants and animals with her fingers.</li>

    </ul>

    Ulo (Oo-low) ¨C She was ready to enter the Seedling Palace and be the best at everything. That didn¡¯t happen and she likes to blame everyone else, especially Gimley who she¡¯s prejudiced against. Closest with Andhi. She was close with Nii as well but now she¡¯s starting to question the other¡¯s loyalty.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can breathe underwater.</li>

    </ul>

    Wren ¨C From a runner tribe. Very friendly and open and charismatic. Has a bird companion named Chirp. She¡¯s closest with Dera followed by Loclen and Prevna.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can speak with birds. She bonds the easiest with wrens and other songbirds.</li>

    </ul>

    Other

    Clara ¨C Sprout that is always in the nested library with Shawsh.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: can change the color of inanimate objects.</li>

    </ul>

    Fern ¨C Sapling. Gimley¡¯s group advisor during their trip through the woodlands to the Rookery.

    Mil ¨C Sprout who ¡°makes the best nectar¡± and sells it for small favors and offerings in the arena.

    <h2>Whisper Women</h2>

    Beet ¨C Peacekeeper. Part of Hattie¡¯s squad.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Her hands and feet can stick to surfaces when she wishes it.</li>

    </ul>

    Corrin ¨C Mellow whisper woman who has a very valuable blessing. Helped Gimley recover after Jin tested Gimley¡¯s blessing during their one-on-one training.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can make someone as they were an hour before, but she can only do it once a day. She has saved many from life threatening injuries with it. ¡°Be as you were.¡±</li>

    </ul>

    Dawnli ¨C Hundred Eyes (Sect head).

    Eliss ¨C Peacekeeper. Mishtaw¡¯s life partner. She doesn¡¯t like Gimley that much and thinks she¡¯s a troublemaker.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: her skin takes on an unusual texture and it boosts her physical defense.</li>

    </ul>

    Esie - Intermediary for the Lady of Calm Waters. Gives Gimley advice on occasion and keeps tabs on her. In a relationship with Kaylan.

    Hana ¨C Very skilled at shadow walking.

    Hattie ¨C Peacekeeper. Chatty, friendly squad leader. Likes dramatics and grand gestures.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can make holes appear in the ground by twirling her finger.</li>

    </ul>

    Jin -  Peacekeeper (Second in command). The cohort¡¯s assigned teacher when they arrived at the Seedling Palace. Known for efficiently punishing those who didn¡¯t adhere to the Scales¡¯ rulings and forcing compliance.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Named Blessing (Desperation¡¯s Mirage). Creates illusions with some physicality and effects.</li>

    <li>Known as the Enforcer.</li>

    </ul>

    Kaylan ¨C The lazy sentry. A bit smug, easily amused, likes to tease, and is a good storyteller. In a relationship with Esie.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can hear things miles away if she focuses.</li>

    <li>Known as Far Listener.</li>

    </ul>

    Lithunia ¨C Hundred Eyes. High Priestess and leader of the goddess¡¯s Chosen. Snow and shadow color scheme.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can freeze her surroundings.</li>

    <li>Known as the Lady of Frost.</li>

    </ul>

    Melka ¨C Peacekeeper. Hattie¡¯s second-in-command.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Aura that strikes terror in the hearts of creatures within fifty paces. She can tell if it takes hold or not, and protect a select number of people in her area from the effect.</li>

    </ul>

    Mishtaw ¨C Seeker. Leader of the squad Gimley and the rest get assigned to when they go the shore. Now Gimley¡¯s sole allowed whisper woman mentor.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: She can yell out a battle cry that increases her allies strength and agility for a short time.</li>

    <li>Known as the Relic Seeker.</li>

    </ul>

    Nadia (the Commander) ¨C Peacekeeper (Sect head).

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Storm Drinker.</li>

    </ul>

    Rivon ¨C Hundred Eyes (Second-in-command).

    Tasha ¨C Strikingly beautiful. Owes Gimley a debt.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can transform into a giant gray and black hawk that trails smoky shadows.</li>

    </ul>

    Yeelan ¨C Esie¡¯s sister. They look near identical though Yeelan is normally the dourer of the two. She¡¯s a happy, giggly drunk.

    Yetti (deceased) ¨C The previous seedling mentor before Jin.

    Yolanda ¨C Scales (Sect head). Doesn¡¯t take well to critique or humor. Strict.

    Yule ¨C Hundred Eyes. Sleek, no nonsense (or a prissy wretch according to some). Jin¡¯s supporter.

    <ul>

    <li>Blessing: Can spy on people from afar by viewing them through floating rectangles (screens).</li>

    </ul>

    <h2>Fire Starters</h2>

    Creed ¨C Mishtaw¡¯s fire starter. Very strong and Petra¡¯s husband. Loyal and good-natured.

    Petra ¨C Eliss¡¯s fire starter and Creed¡¯s wife. Has a strong sense of direction and tracking training. Clear headed and kind.

    Shawsh ¨C Caretaker of the nested library in the Seed Landing. Makes miniature sculptures and knows the library like the back of his hand. Clara¡¯s bound fire starter.

    <h2>Black Handed Healers</h2>

    Maud ¨C Older woman with a long braid of silver hair. Was dismissive of Gimley while gossiping with other healers.

    Morgan ¨C Ressia¡¯s cousin. Accidentally reveals Gimley¡¯s blessing to her cohort because he didn¡¯t know it was a secret. Lanky, ponytailed man with a casual attitude.

    Ressia ¨C The healer who took care of Gimley and Fellen in the Statue Garden. Meets Gimley again when she goes to the arena. Insightful and not easily surprised.

    Trish ¨C Petra¡¯s younger sister. Meets Gimley in war camp on the shore.

    <h2>Gabbler Shore Tribe</h2>

    Fellen - A huntress¡¯s apprentice in the Gabbler Shore tribe. Gimley¡¯s closest friend before she broke Fellen¡¯s trust.

    Rawley - Lone huntress of the Gabbler Shore tribe and Gimley¡¯s mentor.

    <h2>Other</h2>

    Azabel (Az-AH-bell) - Sister goddess to Heliquat.

    Chirp - Wren¡¯s bird companion. He is a wren.

    Dogar ¨C Part of Milwa¡¯s Picker band and protective of his cooking.

    Heliquat (Hell-e-quat) ¨C Goddess ruling over the territory where the story takes place. Largely associated with darkness, death, pine trees, and blood.

    Her Beloved/ The Beloved - The only person to personally win Heliquat¡¯s favor and convinced Her to allow humans to live in Her territory. Now she helps to act as an intermediary between the goddess and humanity. Blood and shadow color scheme. Tattoo artist? (the goddess saw her work and liked the idea of leaving her mark on others too?)

    This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Igi (deceased) ¨C Prevna¡¯s childhood friend.

    Lady Blue (aka the Devouring Blue) ¨C A demigoddess that lives in the ocean surrounding Heliquat and Azabel¡¯s territories. Created when the goddesses tried to make a third sister with their same power but they failed. Shapeshifter who sends her armies of fish and other sea monsters to terrorize the goddesses and their people. People say she hates the sisters and wants to decrease their territories but no one knows if that is her true motive.

    Lady of Calm Waters ¨C Gimley¡¯s elusive patron. She takes Gimley on in exchange for a favor.

    Milwa - Prevna¡¯s mother and leader of her Picker band. She had Prevna call her by her name from a young age in public as ¡°she couldn¡¯t only be her mother.¡±

    Moorkin ¨C One of the first Chosen and the first Recorder. Wrote the Collection of Wishes and has much of her writing and drawings reproduced to preserve her firsthand account of the beginning of the Fealty Age.

    Ver ¨C Prevna¡¯s childhood friend. Has a slight obsession with ice folk.

    Places

    Broken Spear Peaks (Upper Peaks and Lower) ¨C A mountain range to the right of the Cut. The Lower Peaks start next to the Cut and then transition to the Upper Peaks as the mountains get taller as they curve north.

    Calling Road ¨C The path the goddess and Her Chosen walk during a coming of age ceremony that takes place around the same time every year where tribesfolk show up to get a glimpse of them and show their respect. Starts when the goddess and Her Chosen step from the shadow paths on the edge of the forest until they reach the Seedling Palace¡¯s shadows and enter the shadow paths again.

    First Shore Lake ¨C A gigantic lake right by the Seedling Palace. So called because it¡¯s said the first people to see it thought it was the edge of the ocean on the other side of the goddess¡¯s territory due to how large it is. Ringed by red sand.

    Flickermark ¨C A maze of ravines that are typically navigated using the stars in the sky, which is how Flickermark got its name. To enter the maze you have to pass under to large black, semi translucent hands that look like they are reaching up for help while the statue of goddess they are reaching toward is facing away and pointing to the Statue Garden. To exit without reaching the Statue Garden you have pass through a terrifying tunnel full of tortured people. Flickermark was created by the goddess as Her Beloved¡¯s second trial.

    Gabbler Shore ¨C The lake and surrounding area where Gimley grew up when her tribe wasn¡¯t sheltering in Grislander¡¯s Maw.

    Grislander¡¯s Maw ¨C The valley between the two offshoots of the Root Mountains. So called because its believed the mountains were created when Heliquat defeated the monstrous dog, so the valley supposed rests between his open jaws.

    Haggler¡¯s Cliffs ¨C In the northeast part of Heliquat¡¯s territory. Known for being extremely dangerous as well as hot springs that can restore health and grant invulnerability. Where Breck grew up.

    Root Mountains ¨C Mountains surrounding Grislander¡¯s Maw. The mountains are thickly covered by pine trees and their roots. The western side of the mountains are more fertile than the east.

    Seedling Palace ¨C contains the goddess¡¯s residence as well as a grove of six skyscraper high pine trees. Where seedlings train and whisper women, their fire starters, and black handed healers live.

    <ul>

    <li>Arena ¨C An area where seedlings and whisper women train, fight, and test their wits. Can be for fun, entertainment, and/or to increase their skill.</li>

    <li>Healer¡¯s Nests ¨C Area where the black handed healers live and treat their patients.</li>

    <li>Seed Landing ¨C Where new Seedlings are trained and live until they gain their first boon. Has the Nested Library and a garden.</li>

    </ul>

    The Gathering Spot ¨C Where Gimley has her trial at the end of the book. To reach it you have to pass through a tunnel with softly glowing moss and a disorientating array of images woven into the pine needles. Esie tells Gimley that the images are supposed to show paths to strength. The Gathering Spot itselfis set near the goddess¡¯s nest so the goddess¡¯s residence fills the vision of anyone standing in its center. It has two elevated wooden rings, with the higher one being wider than the other. Four ramps, equidistant rise up from the center area to provide access to the rings and an opening opposite of the tunnel contains a storage area.

    Shadow Caster Mountains ¨C the tallest mountains in the goddess¡¯s territory. To the left of the Cut and said to be so tall that they touch the tips of the Silver Forest and as such if you climb to the top of the tallest peak you can speak to the dead.

    Silver Forest ¨C The afterlife people strive to belong to. It¡¯s said that the stars are the tips of silver pine trees and the campfires of the dead. That the dead there can rest and enjoy themselves and be at peace.

    Statue Garden ¨C The holy site where shamble men gather around a grove of goddess grown pine trees near Flickermark. The place the Beloved needed to reach to complete her trial and that Fellen and Gimley had to reach to complete theirs. Now the home of Caretaker whisper women who take care of the holy site.

    The Arches ¨C Has terraced gardens and a gigantic ice statue of the Beloved that never melts and protects the residents in the gorge from the ocean waves. Arched pathways stretch from one side to another over the river at the bottom.

    The Crossing River ¨C The river Gimley and her tribe always have to cross when traveling to and from Gabbler Shore to Grislander¡¯s Maw.

    The Cut ¨C The large valley that cuts through two prominent mountain ranges. Makes for the quickest passage between the northern and southern halves of the goddess¡¯s territory but is also known preying Picker Bands that take advantage of travelers.

    The Folds ¨C The hills on the western side of the Root Mountains.

    The Sisters (rivers) ¨C Two major rivers that run nearly parallel to each other in the southern part of the goddess¡¯s territory.

    Animals & Monsters

    Animals

    Bane Pack ¨C Wolflike creatures with thick blond fur and oversized ears and long, narrow snouts. Their bite is venomous and will slow and disorient their prey. For most people it will keep working on their system until they become paralyzed. An individual one is known as a ¡®bane¡¯ but most travel in packs and they got their name for being the bane of lone travelers they often seem to hunt.

    Heart Backed Asper ¨C venomous snake. Asper¡¯s love is common name for its venom.

    Screecher ¨C A money creature with a squat frame with white fur, red face, and a protruding mouth that lives in Haggler¡¯s Cliffs. Can pour fog from their mouths and screech very loudly.

    Sea snake/water snake ¨C A large snake that lives in the ocean and never stops growing. The one that attacked Gimley had a large crest growing from its forehead.

    Shaggy coated boar ¨C A boar with a shaggy coat that lives in the Root Mountains.

    Sleet Beetles ¨C Chirp¡¯s favorite snack.

    Monsters

    Conch commander ¨C Considered to be a more intelligent fish monster that commands the Lady Blue¡¯s troops.

    Crawler ¨C Stingray like monsters that look like two pieces of cloth rippling together with long whiskers and a longer tail. Can glide through water and, for a time, with more difficulty, overland. Can camouflage themselves and curl into tiny spaces. Often seem to be used as sentries and harassers on the ocean battlefronts. They are resistant to piercing attacks, especially on their back, but their belly is vulnerable to attacks.

    Fish soldiers ¨C fish that can walk on their back fins on land and use spears fight the whisper women. The common soldier in the Lady Blue¡¯s forces.

    Kraken/squid creature (no in world name yet)  - A formidable foe in the Lady Blue¡¯s forces. Can be difficult for whisper women to fight as it can stay out to sea and attack them on the shore with its long tentacles.

    Shamble men ¨C Zombie like creatures who come from people who weren¡¯t burned during the five grace period after they died. They were created when rebels rose up against the goddess, only to be defeated, and the goddess punished them and everyone for daring to try. They have gray skin and ghoulish, androgynous faces so it¡¯s impossible to identify who they once were.

    Shore Eaters ¨C Large bulbous creature, lobsterlike, that has shovel like front claws to help it pour sand down its throat. It eats the goddess¡¯s land.

    Storm singers ¨C Mermaidlike sea creatures that can call down storms with their singing if enough of them gather together.

    Blessings and Boons

    Blessings

    Blessing ¨C a supernatural power gifted from Heliquat to the people in Her territory, always marked by a symbol on the receiver¡¯s body. Those destined to become whisper women receive a unique mark and power while everyone else receives the common blessing.

    Bless Mark ¨C the mark on a person¡¯s body that comes with their blessing. If it is unique, it can be any shape and size as well as show up anywhere on the person¡¯s body.

    Common Blessing ¨C Always appears as two small dots, one each at the center of the person¡¯s inner wrists. Gives the blessing to produce a flicker of flame. However, there are two variations: Candles can produce a steady flame at the tip of a finger for a handful of seconds while Sparks can create the flame at a distance within a handful of feet, but it doesn¡¯t last as long.

    Boons

    Dark Sight ¨C Allows you to see in the dark but everything is grayscale. Needs no light source.

    Elemental Resistance ¨C Allows you to resist the elements. The more you use and train with this boon the more a whisper woman can raise her resistance to different elements.

    Shadow Walking ¨C Allows you to travel through the shadow paths and sense shadows. The more a whisper woman trains with this boon the better she can travel through more difficult shadows and/or the farther she can travel using the shadows.

    Wind Whispering ¨C Allows you to speak remotely using the wind. The more a whisper woman trains with this boon the more she can say in a message as well as increase her accuracy and distance she can cross when sending a message. The better skilled wind whisperers can also send messages in lower wind areas that might stop others or simply send more complete messages than they could.

    Groups

    <h2>Sects</h2>

    Beastwatcher Sect ¨C This sect is focused on protecting the natural resources of the goddess¡¯s territory. They are the ones that hunt monsters, patrol the land to make sure the ecosystems are in balance and investigate outbreaks of disease and rot that are contaminating the surrounding land. Most likely to be knowledgeable of the different parts of the goddess¡¯s territory, plants, and animals.

    Caretakers Sect ¨C This sect focuses on taking care of the goddess¡¯s holy sites and the Groves that were grown at the Beloved¡¯s four trials. They are the most tradition focused sect and are strict with their power structures and hierarchy as they are split between four locations. It helps them to make sure no one takes advantage of their decentralized structure to take control of the sect.

    Hundred Eyes Sect ¨C This sect are largely the information gatherers among the goddess¡¯s whisper women. With a large network of spies and other intelligence gatherers they are nearly always the first to be aware of a developing situation or new information. They are the ones most likely to be sent across the border to learn more about the state of Azabel¡¯s territory.

    Peacekeepers Sect ¨C This sect makes up the goddess¡¯s army. Fighting the Lady Blue¡¯s fish, putting down rebellion, taking care of death bringers¡­if there¡¯s fighting to be done these are the whisper women sent to do it. They are the only ones who are given leniency when it comes to stepping in the goddess¡¯s domain by killing and they are the most likely to be the most skilled when it comes to fighting, battle strategy and tactics, and crowd control.

    Scales Sect  - This sect would be akin to the goddess¡¯s lawyer/court judges. They are the ones who interpret the goddess¡¯s words, rulings, and past actions to determine if a whisper woman is at fault or so that they can consistently apply a law if a situation arises. There are rumors that the highest ranked Scales can get the goddess¡¯s or Her Beloved¡¯s direct input on a ruling if it is important enough, but no Scale has ever confirmed or denied this.

    Seekers Sect ¨C This sect is often considered the catch all sect by the others. It is supposed to be for whisper women who are driven by a passion to learn more about a subject and thus improve the tools and knowledge whisper women have at their disposal. Those that don¡¯t easily fit into the confines of the other sects often join the Seekers sect, but because all their focuses are so individualized it is often those who are truly obsessed with their chosen subject that go the furthest in the sect.

    <h2>Tribes</h2>

    Gabbler Shore ¨C The tribe Gimley grew up in.

    Swirling Waters ¨C The tribe Juniper, Ento, and Idra grew up in.

    <h2>General Groups</h2>

    Black Handed Healers ¨C The healers that reside in the Seedling Palace. They are often treated better than the healers in the tribes as the marks on their hands are inked by the Beloved herself and are supposed to keep them from giving or receiving too much life. Despite their name the marks are more a dark gray than black.

    Carvers ¨C The people who carve the trees for tribesfolk burials. They create Carver¡¯s Mazes on the coffins which are supposed to lock the body inside the coffin while it burns on the pyre, but allow the soul to escape to the afterlife.

    Seedlings ¨C Whisper women-in-training. When capitalized ¡®Seedling¡¯ refers to a new trainee still living in the Seed Landing but otherwise includes all the girls who aren¡¯t fulling fledged whisper women yet. Seedling Ranks from bottom to the top are: Seedling, Sprout, Sapling.

    Whisper Women ¨C The goddess¡¯s priestesses who have completed their training. The are split between the six sects, but all have earned the goddess¡¯s four boons. If they rise high enough in the goddess¡¯s favor they can become one of Her Chosen.

 Book 5 - Ch. 1: Home of the Warming Winds

    We stood on the edge of a windstorm so fierce that I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if it cut my hand should I be foolish enough to reach out over the cliff edge. Our cohort and the seedlings from the year after us, Mishtaw, Prevna and me, other whisper women I didn¡¯t recognize who I assumed had become mentors to some of the others while we were busy with Mishtaw¡ªwe all watched as wind whipped by a foot from our faces, held in check by the goddess¡¯s will.

    This was the home of the wind sprites who swept through the goddess¡¯s territory during the Welcome of the Winds. Some thought they were part of the storm front that changed everything from warm season to cold, as well, but no one could prove it one way or the other since the spirits were quiet during that storm, if they participated at all.

    Now we could hear their murmurs, their shrill laughter and unintelligible gossip, as if through a thick wall though there was only open air before us. Their home was deep in the Barrier Mountains and scoured clean of any harsh edges, any plant life. Nothing seemed to survive the constant flow of wind.

    But that wasn¡¯t to say the wind sprites¡¯ home was a barren wasteland with nothing but moving air and sandy rock. The rock itself stretched over the wide basin in tendrils, some thick enough to walk on, others no more than a finger width, like an artistic spider web that a whole community of spiders had gotten together to create. I didn¡¯t even need to glance at Juniper to know she was dreading our next trial as much as she had hated flying on the storm birds. The ground was too far away to see through the web of ledges and thin paths.

    The wind spirits had also picked up multitudes of petals and leaves and carried them back to their home. There were waterfalls of red, orange, and pink petals cascading down over the ledges, rivers of pine needles and golden leaves flowing between them, rainbow whirlwinds.

    This was the place we were to earn our final boons.

    The whisper women pulled out their prayer needles and spoke together. ¡°We beseech you, o voices of the wind. May our young and bold, our earnest and brave, learn your ways and withstand your winds so they might rise and serve our goddess. We beseech you to part the veil and allow them their trial.¡±

    Then they pricked their wrists and flung drops of blood into the void, where they were swept up and lost among a river of leaves. A thin line of leaves split from the main river and curled in a lazy spiral over the three branching paths that led from the edge we stood on into the spirits¡¯ home.

    I felt Mishtaw relax next to me at the sight before we all headed back to our camp. It wasn¡¯t far. We were on a relatively small plateau tucked between two steep mountains with a massive pine tree towering where they joined together. Its branches shadowed the plateau while its roots dug through the stone and created natural sections to the camp.

    We settled around a burnt out fire pit. Prevna and I on one side, Mishtaw to our left, Juniper opposite us and desperately trying to pretend she wasn¡¯t latching onto us because she had no one else. Breck also lounged opposite of Mishtaw. Everyone else had split off into their own groups or were speaking with their own mentors. Breck had never settled with a single mentor, but she seemed to respect Mishtaw enough that she¡¯d come to listen in when she thought there was information she ought to know that our mentor would share with us.

    ¡°You¡¯ll have three or four days,¡± Mishtaw said. ¡°Don¡¯t waste them. The wind spirits are fickle gentling their winds so seedlings can earn their wind whispering boon. There¡¯s no telling when they¡¯ll be amenable again.¡± She saw Breck make a face at the idea that we needed gentle winds. ¡°Don¡¯t fear, if you earn your second boon here you¡¯ll have an intimate knowledge of just how punishing their winds can get.¡±

    Prevna leaned forward to look around me. ¡°How many earn both boons here?¡±

    Mishtaw shrugged. ¡°Most attempt it, but most don¡¯t last long enough to complete the tempering. The wind spirits will give you one chance after you earn your first boon and if you don¡¯t take up the offer then you¡¯ll lose the opportunity. Fail, and you¡¯ll still be able join a sect on a provisional basis but you¡¯ll have to complete your tempering to earn the elemental resistance boon by staying out in the season changing storms.¡±

    ¡°And the wind whispering boon?¡± Juniper asked.

    ¡°You can attempt the spirit¡¯s trial as many times as you like.¡± She pulled a thick piece of cloth from a pouch. ¡°You¡¯ll be blindfolded. You¡¯ll have to listen to the spirits¡¯ guidance to find your way through the winding paths. They¡¯ll bring you to one of the wellsprings that their winds pour from and there you¡¯ll earn your boon¡ªhow you listen and how well you communicate them will determine which wellspring they bring you to. Which in turn can affect the strength of your boon as well as certain aspects of it, such as how easy it is to be accurate with your messages or how far you can send them.¡±

    So this was to be a trial of variables then. Every decision could affect the thing after it, and I had no desire to be saddled with subpar boons. Nine Claws had said earning my boons here could go a long way to making a good impression on whichever sect I chose to join. It was advice I might as well follow since I had promised Esie I¡¯d stay in the storm for as long as I could to use the unique circumstances to try to learn more about Azabel and the Lady Blue with my new boon.

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    Besides, a large part of me was interested in pitting my will against the wind spirits¡¯ and learning who came out on top. I had gotten a taste of what they were capable of when the Warming Winds thawed me after I was frozen, and it made me wonder if earning the second boon here was a difficult as everyone said it was. We had learned more in the weeks leading up to coming to the spirits¡¯ home and it was clear that those who had earned both boons here were considered a cut above other whisper women, even those that might have not found their way to the best wellspring.

    It had taken a lot of prodding but Prevna had eventually got it out of Mishtaw that she had been one of a few in her group to earn both boons here. Eliss had to do things the more standard way and earn the elemental resistance boon by exposing herself to the seasonal storms.

    ¡°Can we watch others attempt the trial?¡± I asked.

    Mishtaw and Prevna both shot me knowing looks, but Mishtaw answered, ¡°You can, but memorizing the paths they take won¡¯t help you. The spirits will obscure the paths at a certain level and you can¡¯t know how good a wellspring the others are being guided towards. I¡¯d recommend spending some time getting used to the winds past the veil and then attempting your trial. The more time you interact with the winds the better chance you¡¯ll have at understanding them.¡±

    My ears perked up at that. ¡°Are we required to return to camp at night? Or otherwise?¡±

    Mishtaw looked like she didn¡¯t want to answer but she did so, with a long suffering look. ¡°Most people want to eat or sleep without fear of rolling off an edge but, no, if you want to stay within the veil until the wind sprites decide the time for trials is over, you can do so.¡±

    Well then. Being a whisper woman was all I had now, so I might as well put my all into it. The mostly destroyed landscape of plants outside my memory tent spoke to that. Some packed food and I could spend all my time learning what I needed to.

    Prevna bumped my shoulder. ¡°Just make sure you still go to the latrine. No one would appreciate their home getting fouled up because someone else¡¯s lack of common sense.¡±

    I rolled my eyes back at her. ¡°Of course.¡±

    Juniper worried at her pant leg before she forced herself to ask, ¡°What if we fall?¡±

    Mishtaw held her gaze. ¡°You will. And the wind spirits will catch you and bring you back to the beginning of the paths if stepping into open air was a mistake. They¡¯ll test your trust, your obedience, and it¡¯ll be up to you whether you think listening or putting your foot down in those instances is for the best. Sometimes it might be trick, others a short cut.¡±

    Juniper didn¡¯t look remotely comforted by that information. Mishtaw sighed and added, ¡°You¡¯re not the only one to attempt the trial with a fear of heights.¡± She pointed to another whisper woman with a fierce expression, a braid of jet black hair going to her waist, and a bless mark wrapping around her right elbow. ¡°Speak with Ilantris. She reached the Wellspring of Communion and she hates heights as much as you do.¡±

    My eyebrows rose at that. From what we had learned the Wellspring of Communion was the third best wellspring a whisper woman could hope to reach and often came with an added bonus of being able to send the same message to multiple people at once. A skill prized many of the sects since whisper women had a habit being spread out all over the territory for various tasks.

    Above it was the Wellspring of Devotion, known for allowing even newbies with the boon to send whispers from one end of the goddess¡¯s territory to the other. The highest wellspring was the Mother Spring, but, apparently, the wind spirits guarded that one jealously. Not much was known about the benefit it granted as the few who reached it kept tight lips and didn¡¯t let on if what they could do was a result of the boon or pure practice.

    That wellspring was my goal. It¡¯d allow me to start earning the respect I needed as well as give me the best chance of fulfilling Esie¡¯s request. If I was stubborn, if I was patient and took in every bit of information I could, I was sure I¡¯d reach it. I was determined to make that the only possible outcome.

    Prevna, on the other hand, was less interested in the mysterious wellspring and focused instead on reaching the Wellspring of Devotion. She had said the name was apt because she wanted to be able to check on me whenever I inevitably went on another dangerous mission. I wasn¡¯t sure what to say to that, but she had moved onto another topic before the silence could grow awkward.

    Neither of us were ready to admit it, but over the past few weeks there had been hints were it seemed like we were considering different sects, that we might not automatically pick one together since what we wanted to pursue might not be the same. But at the same time neither of us were ready to face the possible separation so we hurried past anything that might imply we wouldn¡¯t be together like we had been since coming under Mishtaw¡¯s purview.

    Mishtaw clapped her hands together, once, sharply, and brought my focus back on her. ¡°Rest up while you can. It¡¯ll take until morning for the wind spirits to relinquish the intensity of their storm and open an entrance through the veil.¡±

    She rose to check in with Creed, who was helping the other fire starters keep the camp running, while Juniper resolutely headed in the direction of the whisper woman Mishtaw had pointed out. Breck acknowledged Prevna and me with an up nod before she wandered off, likely to see if Loclen and Nii had received the same advice Mishtaw gave.

    Prevna took the opportunity to slump against me dramatically. ¡°Wake me up when the veil is open.¡±

    I poked her in the head. ¡°We haven¡¯t even had the evening meal yet.¡±

    She considered for a moment before adding, ¡°Wake me up for that too.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t stay like that all evening.¡±

    ¡°Watch me.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t look comfortable.¡± Given our height difference she had to hunch a bit more to get her head on my shoulder.

    I didn¡¯t need to see her face to know the moment she started smiling smugly. She said, ¡°You¡¯d be surprised.¡±

    I sighed and let her have her way. No doubt she was doing this now since she knew I¡¯d be spending most of my time over the next few days in the spirits¡¯ home, singularly focused and unwilling to spend time on anything but gaining the boons.

    So we sat in silence for the next while, Prevna taking comfort in the contact. I did to, to the extent that I could, but my mind was already turning over what information I had about what was to come next and how it might help me reach my goal. One way or another, I was determined turn the situation to my advantage.

 Book 5 - Ch. 2: Initial Observations

    Despite what Mishtaw had said, the wind within the spirits¡¯ home could hardly be considered ¡®gentle¡¯ even after the spirits calmed the air. It was still strong enough to snatch at my braid and clothes, press on my balance when a stronger gust blew through, and sweep away words. Perhaps the winds we were faced with weren¡¯t the gale force gusts that could lift an adult during the Warming Winds, but they also weren¡¯t the gentle breaths of air that cooled down a warm season day.

    The spirits had opened their home without ceremony. One moment there was a subtle pressure deterring us from entering their home, only noticeable for the sudden lack the next moment when a hole opened in the barrier. Through it we could reach the starting platform and the three paths that led from it.

    There was another, different pressure, when it came time to leave. Similar to what I felt when my blessing was the only thing keeping me alive, but this time the goddess¡¯s eye was not focused on me. The spirits might be able to welcome us in but they still could not leave. It took a long while for the others to work up the will to brave that indirect stare when they needed at break from the constant wind.

    At first, the platform was crowded with both my cohort and one from the year after us, though they had fewer girls. It took time to get accustomed to the sudden change in intensity. Still, after only a few minutes a handful of seedlings tied their blindfolds over their eyes and took their first attempt at the trial.

    Ulo and Nii were among them. Apparently, it was group that didn¡¯t have much in the way patience. None of them got very far. The sprites didn¡¯t always bother to redirect their leaves and petals around us and I watched as one girl was so startled by a wave of purple and pink petals that she stumbled right off the side of the path she was on.

    She plummeted, screaming. But five or so feet below the path, she halted, as if held by an invisible hand that then carried her back to the starting platform and dumped her on the ground.

    One by one, the others met her same fate. Some missed a turn and stepped right off their path, some couldn¡¯t hold their position against a sudden burst of wind, some were led in circles by the spirits so that they ended up walking back to the starting platform on their own.

    Still, despite the setbacks, the platform behind me slowly emptied as more and more seedlings tried their hand at the trial while I settled in the crook between two of the paths. Until, eventually, it was just me and Juniper who hadn¡¯t attempted the trial even once.

    I thought about giving her some advice or a taunt just to get her to try it, but then Wren was swept up back onto the platform by an invisible hand and she took off her blindfold long enough to realize we hadn¡¯t moved from our starting positions. I felt her glance at me before she focused on Juniper. She said something to her that I couldn¡¯t hear¡ªthe wind spirits didn¡¯t make communicating easy in their space. But Juniper must have caught it, because it wasn¡¯t long after that she was following Wren, stiff legged and blind folded, hand in hand, to the middle path.

    The further they went, the smaller and more hesitant her steps became like she was afraid she was going to step on the edge at any moment though she was doing a remarkable job at sticking to the center of the path. Eventually, the wind spirits seemed to get fed up with her behavior because a blast of wind came roaring forth, ripping her hand from Wren¡¯s and shoving Juniper into open air. She screamed so loud it cause another girl to nearly fall.

    The wind spirits caught her in an invisible hand, held her there, and¡­dropped her. She fell another five feet before being caught again¡ªand then dropped. They repeated the move while Juniper¡¯s screams turned into sobs. Somehow, I swore I could still hear those despite the wind snatching away any and all words. Finally, her feet touched down on another path. She crumbled down into a ball as soon as her feet touched solid ground, but the wind spirits didn¡¯t give her a respite for long. A handful of breaths later they plucked her up from the center of the path before depositing her back on the starting platform.

    Ironically, with that stunt she had made it technically farther than anyone else so far. She didn¡¯t seem to appreciate that accomplishment though with the way she was pounding her fist against the stone. Later, I would learn this was something that the wind spirits did to all the seedlings who were especially afraid of heights or falling. They made it clear that this was their home and they controlled over everything in it, and while that was the case we had no reason to fear our inevitable falls.

    Meanwhile, Wren had tried to grab after Juniper and had only barely managed to keep herself from tumbling over the edge after her. Then she wasted time making sure that Juniper wasn¡¯t somehow screaming from the path behind her before she resolutely carried on her way. Juniper was still laying on the ground by the time she was brought back to the starting platform, so Wren was able to touch her on the shoulder before trying her luck with another path.

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    Not long after that, looking like she thought she was going crumble back into pieces at any moment, Juniper pulled herself to her feet and inched her way back along the central path. The spirits let her take her time this go around.

    And, just like that, I was the only seedling to not leave the starting platform. Sometimes Prevna caught my eye before she tugged her blindfold back down, but she didn¡¯t try to rush me. Mishtaw had given her advice, but I still had my own plans.

    I ignored the comings-and-goings of the seedlings when they were on the platform behind me, but I watched each of them, multiple times, while they were on the paths until I could make out the subtle shifts of clothing and hair that indicated the wind sprites were doing more to guide them then just blowing wind in their face. But the more I watched, the more I saw that not all of those guiding gestures helped the others. Sometimes they pulled the girl off balance, sometimes they led her off the path, other times they seemed to be used to create confusion, disorientation.

    It was like they were trying to throw the others off course, like there was a path they could follow even without being able to see the stone under their feet. It reminded me of the time I had followed the barest breath of wind from Flickermark¡¯s depths to the Statue Garden and the stories that speculated that whisper women could sense the wind to an incredible degree.

    I closed my eyes, keeping the blindfold tucked away, and did my best to just feel the wind. It was constant, a never ending stream that could blow forever. It dried out my lips and would have stung my eyes if they were still open. My hair was pulled this way and that, and perhaps because of that I couldn¡¯t find any direction to follow. I shoved my braid down the back of my tunic and tried again¡ªto the same result.

    So I sat with one leg dangling out over the edge, ignoring the tramp of feet behind, and kept trying to understand what the spirits were trying to hide. I could have joined the others, tramped my own way down the paths over and over again, probably would have out of sheer stubbornness if it wasn¡¯t for one thing.

    This was a test of communication. Both to earn it in the form of the boon, but also to pass it, by how we communicated with the spirits. My skill with communication lay in cutting another down, and I doubted that would serve me here. But I had listened to the winds before, just I had been surrounded by the Warming Winds in the past.

    My position now was reminiscent of the time they had thawed me out, though I couldn¡¯t fully embrace the memory without fearing I¡¯d fall into it without realizing. So I approximated the memory to the point that my skin prickled with unease, but no further. Just enough that it helped me realize what I wasn¡¯t hearing now that I was in the spirits¡¯ home: their voices.

    It should have been louder now that we were within the bubble of the goddess¡¯s will, but all I heard was the rush of wind and the occasional scream as someone fell. Were they hiding their voices just like they were muffling ours?

    I wasn¡¯t sure if I could do anything about it if they were, or even if hearing their laughter and unintelligible whispers would even help me with the trial, but the absence, now that I noted it, reminded me of the absence of wind on the shore which set me more on edge. Made me want to get up from my precarious perch and away from the uncomfortable memories, but I kept my position.

    Better to see what else I could learn here than throw myself after what everyone else was doing. I still had ample time to try that route, if I needed to. For now I could observe.

    A vortex of interest seemed to swell around me as the others left for food or to simply take a break from repeated failure. I felt a couple play nudges on my back, like the spirits were considering pushing me off the edge like they had with Juniper, but my position also seemed to dissuade them. If I was comfortable enough to sit with one leg dangling over the edge, then I likely wasn¡¯t in need of a lesson to not fear falling here.

    Prevna came and pressed a wrap full of meat and herbs into my hand at one point. I shifted and smiled at her to remind us both that I wasn¡¯t frozen. She shook her head and rolled her eyes, somewhere between exasperated and amused, before she left to go enjoy her own meal outside of the strong wind.

    Throughout the day I alternated between watching the others and closing my eyes to see what I could notice on my own. The more I did so, the more I decided that the paths themselves were a trap. Perhaps not intentionally or entirely, but from what I could tell the others were firmly focused on keeping their feet on solid ground rather than finding a wellspring. Nor did there seem to be much communication happening, except for the wind spirits¡¯ small tugs on clothing.

    Mishtaw had made it clear that the better we listened to the spirits, the more likely we were to get a better boon. But right now there didn¡¯t seem to be a whole lot to hear.

    Still there were the traditional ways. I didn¡¯t have bone chimes or a banner, but perhaps a lesser gift would still be better than nothing. I opened up my poisoner¡¯s pouch and let a large pinch of spiritflower be snatched away by the wind.

    ¡°A gift for your hospitality.¡±

    I felt foolish for talking to the wind, but if I was going to communicate with the wind spirits then I had to start somewhere. Never mind the fact that, if I earned my boon, I¡¯d be talking to the wind on regular basis. Better to get used to it now.

    Then I finally tied my blindfold around my head so it covered my eyes and pushed myself off the edge. I gritted my teeth as I fell, determined not to scream. Despite that I couldn¡¯t help but let out a startled gasp when I quickly slowed to a stop in midair. It felt like I was being held up a cloud, something too insubstantial to hold my weight, but the next moment that same force was thrusting me upward and back onto the starting platform. I tried a couple more time but the spirits never let me fall all the way to a lower path.

    The standard paths it was then. No matter how much they might try to divert my focus, I¡¯d keep my attention on my true goal. And unlike the others, I¡¯d refuse to give up, no matter how times I failed.

 Book 5 - Ch. 3: Experimentation

    I started on the left hand path and let the wind spirits tug me where they willed. Sometimes there were multiple tugs all at once, but I always followed the most insistent sprite. It didn¡¯t take them long to lead me off the path and into open air. I fell and the wind spirits caught me before placing me back on the starting platform.

    I did the same thing with center and right hand paths. Each attempt ended up the same way. I tested them all again, just to make sure it wasn¡¯t a fluke, but from what I could tell the wind sprites seemed to lead me off the paths around the same point. Apparently, there was something I was missing to pass the first checkpoint no matter which one I took. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if I was supposed to ignore some the wind sprites signals as well as determine which tug was the correct one when they all pulled at once. After all, blindly trusting the loudest voice wasn¡¯t so much as communication as ignorant stupidity.

    The trouble was determining how to know which tug was the correct one or if they were all wrong. I could test out each one in turn until I found the correct one and then do the same for the rest of the check points that were bound to follow, which had its appeal until I  did test that, only to find out that the wind sprites were inconsistent creatures who weren¡¯t very good at keeping everything the same each time I attempted to walk the paths. Sometimes when they pulled all at once on me there was only three tugs, other times dozens. Sometimes they pulled all over on my clothes, hair, skin, but then other times they would only pull on my tunic or fingers. Sometimes there was clearly one very enthusiastic spirit and other times it seemed like they had all gotten tired and barely pulled at all or were having a contest of strength so it was difficult to determine which was actually the strongest pull. So on and so forth.

    I couldn¡¯t rule anything out purely on trial and error because the parameters of each attempt changed wildly from one instance to another. The only consistent thing was that I I felt like they were giving me around the same amount of time before they led me off the paths. If I walked slow, they would lead me off the path before I got as far as I had previously, but once I had memorized the turns in the paths and was quick about it I could get farther along before they shoved me off into open air.

    That didn¡¯t stop me from walking straight off the paths more than once as I guessed which way they might turn and how tight a turn it might be. Each time my stomach lurched as my foot suddenly had nothing to land on, but I didn¡¯t scream. There wasn¡¯t much point in wasting my breath since it was up to the wind spirits if they caught me or let me fall, and everyone else in the maze of the spirits¡¯ home were as blind I was without much hope of reaching me before I lost my balance.

    Instead, I used the air time to mark out my mental map of the paths. I used my memory tent as the stand in for the starting platform and I tied three different colored fishing lines to the tent¡¯s front, like the long spools the huntresses would use when we had to search out new paths through Flickermark¡ªthough theirs were all the same greenish brown. I made mine a golden yellow for the left hand path since the spirits always seemed a bit more eager to push me off into open air on that path; a dark green for the middle path since it twisted and curved around the others like a vine; and the right hand path was a washed out red for the way it seemed to be the one that plunged downward the quickest, only for it to quickly reverse course. A false victory.

    I tied specialty knots into the fishing lines to mark the corners and which way they turned, marked the distance between them by the length of my line. It didn¡¯t long before I could walk the beginning of each path accurately, blindfold or no, and it didn¡¯t take long for the spirits to realize it. They started trying to throw me off track more, pulling me to the side where there was no corner, cushioning the bottom of my foot to trick me into thinking I stepped into open air, pulling the tie holding my braid in place free so I suddenly had hair going everywhere, flung petal and leaves at me, and just generally tried their best to be a nuisance.

    I still walked where the path was. Once I knew their tricks I just had to push past and ignore them, but they still shoved me off the side of the path once my time was up. And I couldn¡¯t help but feel like I was brute forcing my way past the whole point of this trial¡ªwhich likely wasn¡¯t the way to reach the Mother Spring.

    So the next time I reached the first point where the wind sprites started tugging in all different directions on the left hand, I laid down. They paused for a moment, like they were surprised, before the wind picked up and more spirits joined in on the fun. They couldn¡¯t move me as easily though in my new position¡ªwhich made me tempted to crawl my way down the paths even it¡¯d be undignified, but I ultimately put aside the idea for now since it would only exacerbate my current problem of ignoring the wind spirits rather than communicating with them.

    They hit me with the gale force wind that I had watched fling so many other seedlings into open air when my time limit hit but I hunkered down and managed to keep my spot on the path. I didn¡¯t doubt that they could have blown me off if they really tried, but they seemed to be keeping to the agreement to only use ¡°gentler¡± winds.

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    I stayed where I was, trying to sort out if there was any consistent sign I could use to determine the best course of action when the spirits tugged in all directions, until another seedling stepped on me. She screamed, I reflexively pushed her off me, and then her voice got more distant as she plunged off the side of the path. She started cursing me as the spirits dragged her back to the starting platform and I debated for a moment, before sighing and sprinting down the length of the path I had memorized. Then I flung myself into the void, so the wind spirits were obligated to also bring me back to starting platform.

    I didn¡¯t need Loclen to know I had just ruined her attempt. She could hold a grudge and I didn¡¯t want another obstacle between me and my goal. So, between my quick change in location and the other girls being ferried back to the platform, she shouldn¡¯t be able to tell that I was the one she had stepped on. She was still trying to figure it out though when I tugged off my blindfold. Loclen gave me a suspicious glance which I returned with my usual disinterested attitude.

    ¡°You weren¡¯t doing something stupid just now, were you?¡± she asked.

    I huffed out an annoyed sigh. ¡°No. Were you?¡±

    She glowered at all the seedlings around us. ¡°I was minding my own business, trying to pass the trial, when someone who was dumb enough to lay down in the middle of the path shoved me off the side.¡±

    The less confrontational seedlings wouldn¡¯t meet her gaze, but Idra and a couple of the other seedlings from the younger cohort thought that was hilarious. She crossed her arms. ¡°We shouldn¡¯t interfere with each others¡¯ trials.¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°Maybe not, but also maybe next time you could get the wind spirits to tell you something is in the way.¡±

    Her gaze sharpened. ¡°You¡ª¡±

    Wren came from out of the small crowd that had gathered to slip an arm around her shoulders. ¡°No one likes being stepped on, no one wants to fall more then we have to. Let¡¯s leave it at that and¡±¡ªher gaze caught mine¡ª¡°maybe we should leave any tactics that might slow us up for when the paths are less crowded.¡± Wren shrugged as she added, ¡°It¡¯s nearly the evening meal, can¡¯t blame anyone for not thinking clearly on an empty stomach.¡±

    I glowered at her, just a bit, but let her comments pass. Getting into an argument would just cement Loclen¡¯s guess that I was the one she stepped on. So, grudgingly, I let Wren steer me and Loclen out of the wind spirits¡¯ home.

    It was shocking to suddenly hear their muffled murmurs and laughter once I was outside the veil. The wind was also actually gentle on the plateau as well. Wren brought Loclen and me to a cook fire where we got some food I barely paid attention to. I stayed as long as it took eat it, made use of the latrine, and then walked back to the opening that led to the starting platform.

    I didn¡¯t cross over though. Not yet.

    I was missing something and it didn¡¯t take a genius to realize that the fact we could hear the spirits outside their home, but not in it, was likely important for a test of communication. Perhaps it was a test of nonverbal communication? But why would that be the case when the boon we were trying to earn would allow us to speak over large distances? Perhaps we would only hear their voices the further we got along the paths? As way of showing that we were increasing our ability to communicate? That seemed plausible, but why would they still allow us to hear them then when we were outside their home? However muffled it was?

    Our voices were muffled inside the spirits¡¯ home while theirs were quiet. Their voices were muffled outside of their home and, since the camp kept a respectful distance from the dome barrier, I couldn¡¯t hear the others here. We were technically silent in what would be our territory.

    An interesting duality.

    Everything was contained, and yet, not quite fully blocked. Just like the time limit contained how far I could go along the paths, though it didn¡¯t fully limit me. Wind always found a way to slip between the cracks. Perhaps then I should go where the wind spirits weren¡¯t pulling me to go? Slip between the cracks of their tugging?

    I wasn¡¯t sure if it could count as communication, but the sprites did seem set on trying to trick us, so perhaps the trick, for now, was realizing they weren¡¯t playing fair and to stop  trying to fruitlessly find meaning in their pranks. And perhaps, this would just be another trick, but I had to test it out to be sure.

    I stepped back through the dome and started down the left hand path. I had become partial to it ever since it seemed like the spirits were making it more difficult than the other two. Mapping the center and right hand paths could still come in handy, but since I only I had so much time I found myself concentrating on one path once I had mapped all of them as far as I could currently get.

    This time when all the spirits tugged on my clothes I focused on the directions they weren¡¯t pulling me in. There were multiple and for a moment I felt my heart sink at the prospect of another strategy not working out. But I concentrated on the differences between them and there was one spot, just one, where the air didn¡¯t move.

    And in this place of wind and movement that was as suspicious as it had been on the shore. I moved in the direction of the dead air and caught the tiniest hint of a laugh as it whisked past my ear. The patch of dead air moved all across the stone path as I chased it and the wind spirits did their best to distract me. It was like trying to thread a needle while you walked and toddlers were tugging on your legs, begging to play. My focus slipped as the patch of dead air took me precariously close to the stone path¡¯s edge and the spirits took advantage of the slip, causing me to fall.

    Still, I grinned as they brought me back to the starting platform. I had a lead. Rather than trying to follow a bit of wind in a maelstrom of it, I had to train my sensitivity to feel where the wind wasn¡¯t. The stone paths truly were a kind of distraction in their own way, just like the wind spirits¡¯ tugging was.

    Whisper women were known for their sensitivity to the wind. Perhaps this was how they learned it.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 4

    Hey everyone, sorry for another delay but I had some things come up today unexpectedly and/or that took longer than I had expected. As result I''m not able to get the chapter done in time tonight. I thought I might still be able to get it out to you all, but unfortunately the chapter is also one of the things taking longer than I had planned on. I want to do the trial for the boon justice as well as Gimley''s...unique way of doing things but that also means I''m trying to make sure I''m not breaking the world with the things I introduce and as a discovery writer the story has a way of turning in a direction I didn''t initially expect.

    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

    All that is to say: thank you so much for your patience with me and thank you for reading the story! I plan to have the chapter out tomorrow, but that is another busy day so if I can''t finagle that the chapter will be out on Friday at the latest!

 Book 5 - Ch. 4: To Exhaustion

    I kept up my practice long into the night, long after the others left for bed. I knew Prevna wouldn¡¯t approve of me repeating my struggles with sleep that I had in the inner valleys, but we only had so many days. Better to skip some sleep now and have more time to experiment.

    Besides, there was something relaxing about being the only one within the veil besides the wind sprites themselves. I didn¡¯t have to worry about being stepped on or catching up to someone else. I could simply test my ability to feel the wind and the lack of it, over and over and over again.

    It was interesting. The more I chased after the pockets of still air, the more it seemed that those pockets became an actual path. The edges of the pockets went from an obvious rush of strong wind to the gentle breezes that we were originally promised. If I strayed too close to those edges then the wind spirits would suck me off my feet into open air before depositing me back onto the starting platform.

    It was as if the wind spirits were adapting to what I was trying to do. As I changed my approach to get past their bullying tactics, they also changed how they tried to trick me and pull me off course. Perhaps that first wind pocket had been a fluke, but it was also true I was making progress with my new approach. I didn¡¯t want to give up on it yet, especially when it felt like I was making progress based on my own decisions rather than the wind spirits¡¯ whims.

    The hardest part about my new experiment, however, was the actual application of it. I was trying to feel for the absence of something, so it was difficult to always know when I was reaching the edge of the air pocket I was in. More than once I found myself in uncomfortably still air only to suddenly get a wind blast straight to the face  or arm because I stepped too far in the wrong direction.

    I found myself, instead, starting to feel for the strength of the wind around me. Listening for the strength of it, holding out my hands to see if I could feel a wisp of a breeze before getting pulled into the wall of wind the sprites had made around my pocket of still air. By being able to tell where the wind was theoretically I should also be able to tell where it wasn¡¯t.

    Unfortunately, my sensitivity to the wind wasn¡¯t what I wanted it to be. Once the wind spirits seemed to figure out what I was trying to do they widened the pockets of still air and stopped pushing their winds in all different directions so that I could more easily distinguish the direction it was coming from and stay in the tunnel of dead air.

    It felt like an insult. More than once I fumed to myself about not needing their help, but no matter how much I wanted to deny it I couldn¡¯t get far without those adjustments. For now.

    Still, it was clear when I reached a check point along the path because the wind spirits would add more wind to the mix or make the path of still air narrower or make the edges of the path subtler so I had to strain to figure out where the wind started and stopped. I never lasted more than a handful of steps once they made the challenge more difficult.

    But I kept practicing and with every round I could tell I was getting better at sensing the wind. Every round was another chance to prove myself. Another opportunity to see how far I could go.

    ¡°Gimley.¡±

    I lowered my foot back onto the starting platform from where I had been about to take my first step on another challenge. I wasn¡¯t sure how many I had attempted already or what time it was. My eyes felt gritty. When was the last time I had lifted the blind fold? Another unknown. All that had mattered was sensing the wind a little bit better, getting a little bit further down the path, though now I wasn¡¯t sure how far I had been getting these past few attempts.

    They all blurred together.

    ¡°Gimley.¡± Mishtaw¡¯s voice again.

    My arm felt unnaturally heavy as I peeled my blind fold up and off my eyes. Light, unexpected and harsh, stung my eyes as I tried to look at my mentor. Only to find out, once I blinked the spots away, that she wasn¡¯t alone.

    My cohort and the younger one were arrayed within and without the veil. A few other whisper women stood near Mishtaw outside the veil¡ªwhisper women didn¡¯t enter the spirits¡¯ home during the trial. All of them were looking at me with some mixture of shock and concern. Well, for the most part. I was lucid enough to notice that Ulo looked a bit enraged while Breck was intrigued, and Prevna was next to Mishtaw and exasperated as I had ever seen her.

    My mind was still caught on the next thing I was going to try, the next step I needed to make to get closer to my goal, so it took me longer then it should have to realize that the sprites weren¡¯t dampening Mishtaw¡¯s voice.

    My mentor glowered at me. ¡°I know I said you could technically stay in there for the entire trial period, but I don¡¯t remember ever stating that you could neglect your health. Especially for attempts that are getting you no farther than a baby can toddle.¡±

    I frowned. I knew I was getting further than that even if it did seem to be taking less and less time for the wind spirits to return me to the starting platform.

    Mishtaw gestured to the others. ¡°They all had the good sense to rest so they could attempt the trial again today with clear minds. I know you¡¯ll have your reasons, but if you don¡¯t want to prove yourself a fool you will follow me back to camp right now.¡±

    I stared at her. My mind felt sluggish, more so than it had when I had only gotten snatches of sleep in the inner valleys. Or perhaps it was similar. It was difficult to say when my focus didn¡¯t want to shift from the paths. Some part of me knew that exhaustion and collapse waited on the other side of breaking my focus and that felt like giving up.

    Somehow I had kept up my attempts at the trial for the entire night even after doing the same for most the day before. Everyone else must have shown up to their second day of attempts only find me still here, still going.

    Part of me was tempted to ignore Mishtaw for that reason alone. To prove that I could keep going when everyone else couldn¡¯t. Part of me was proud that they had found me like this. Nor did I want to lose my thread of focus, the feeling that I was improving with every new attempt.

    But Mishtaw had been my mentor for a long time. She knew how to get me to do what she wanted and¡ªmore than that¡ªI knew that her judgment was sound enough that failing to listen to her typically only came with consequences rather than any benefits.

    I didn¡¯t want to look like a fool.

    And now that I had stopped for longer than a breath I couldn¡¯t ignore the way my body was begging for a break. And that my recent attempts weren¡¯t nearly as productive as I wanted to pretend they were just so I could keep the momentum going. Which was something I wouldn¡¯t normally do.

    There was stubbornness, and there was being stupid.

    I wouldn¡¯t ever be the one to admit it out loud but tiredness was making me be the latter. That was obvious from the way my memory dragged and Prevna had the same exasperated look that made her eyes go wide when she thought I was putting myself in unnecessary danger.

    We had two or three days left¡­perhaps some sleep wouldn¡¯t be unwarranted.

    Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

    Chin held high, back straight, I did my best to give no indication of how exhausted I really was. I think most of them bought it. Prevna, though, she gave me one of her knowing looks without the smile that usually went along with it. She also wrapped her arm around my shoulders and took on some of my weight once we rounded a corner and the others couldn¡¯t see. Mishtaw strode ahead, straight for our campsite.

    Mishtaw pulled open the tent flap to the tent Prevna and I shared. ¡°Sleep. If I see you out of this tent before the midday meal I swear I will knot the door so throughly that you won¡¯t be able to escape until the whole trial is over and done with.¡±

    I glared back at her, just a little, but I went inside and tied the door shut on my side. Even with the dark sight boon, the sudden gloom made me want to collapse on my bedroll and sleep like I had been told. But the stubborn side of me didn¡¯t want to do what I was told. Not right way.

    Mishtaw and Prevna hadn¡¯t moved away from the tent and after a long, drawn out moment I heard Mishtaw speak. It was muffled through the tent wall, but I knew their voices well enough I could pick out the words.

    ¡°I should have known better than to hope that she¡¯d be reasonable.¡±

    ¡°I knew she wouldn¡¯t want to waste time, but I thought she¡¯d at least sleep.¡± That was Prevna. ¡°On the starting platform, if nothing else.¡± Another pause and then she asked, ¡°Do you know what she was doing? It looked like she was moving differently from everyone else.¡±

    I leaned closer to the wall as I waited for Mishtaw¡¯s reply. Any bit of insight could help me figure out how to keep progressing.

    ¡°Did you notice that her hair didn¡¯t blow around? She was finding her way through the wind.¡±

    ¡°But that¡¯s¡­we¡¯re supposed to be working with the wind spirits, so we can learn to communicate with the wind.¡±

    ¡°Everyone¡¯s path is different. Avoidance could be seen as a form of communication, though I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s entirely what she¡¯s doing even if she doesn¡¯t know it.¡±

    My eyelids closed and I had to fight get them back open. So much so that I missed Prevna¡¯s reply.

    Mishtaw said, ¡°The spirits adapt their trial to the person. How they guide you or Gimley or even Juniper with her fear of heights will all be different and, in the end, you will all reach a wellspring. Go back to your trial. I¡¯ll make sure she stays put.¡±

    I waited to see if there was anything else I could overhear but everything was silent. Without a distraction, it didn¡¯t take long for my exhaustion to take over and I slipped into a much needed rest.

    ¡ª      ¡ª

    The sound of the midday meal pulled me from my sleep. Most of the camp had convened in the open common area around a couple of cooking fires. My appearance caused a small stir, but I ignored it in favor of getting my food and settling next to Prevna and Mishtaw.

    Prevna raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°Better?¡±

    I shrugged one shoulder and her eyes glinted as she smiled at me. The full knowing smile rather than the harsher version she had given me earlier. We both knew the shrug was as good as full agreement. Agreement I didn¡¯t want to show in front of everyone else since that was as good as admitting to making a mistake.

    And I did feel better. Less fuzzy, better able to actually make full use of my trial attempts rather than just putting one foot in front of the other. I wasn¡¯t exactly thrilled to have lost the whole morning, but it was also true that constantly being ferried back to the starting platform wouldn¡¯t have gotten me very far either.

    Pleased that her point had been made Prevna bumped her shoulder against mine and turned her attention back to the conversation bouncing around the group who had settled to eat their meals around us. She chimed in now and then, but I kept to listening and was surprised by what I heard.

    The others were sharing their experiences. What had gotten them further along their paths, how they kept track of the twists and turns, what they thought had gone wrong before they ended up being carried back to the starting platform.

    A lot of it was contradictory or pure conjecture, but I was so used to having to figure things out on my own that it was shocking to hear everyone sharing information so easily. A lot of it seemed to be fueled by the younger cohort and the more talkative people in our group. Whereas we had split into smaller groups in our cohort, they seemed to have banded together. Perhaps they didn¡¯t have so many¡­divisive people to set the group against each other.

    Still, it was interesting to learn how the others had approached the trial. After I started my own attempts I had stopped paying attention to what they were doing. Wren had apparently started chatting with the wind spirits even though she couldn¡¯t understand what they were saying, telling them about herself and what the goddess¡¯s territory was like when the Warming Winds weren¡¯t sweeping away the cold season. She said that it seemed like the more interesting the sprites found a story the more easily she could continue down her path. Meanwhile, Nii said that the spirits had started to blast her intermittently with great gusts of wind. If she managed to keep her feet she could continue on for a time without being tested. Prevna said she started teasing the wind spirits back since they seemed to be having so much fun tricking her.

    Everyone seemed to have taken approaches to dealing with the wind spirits¡¯ tugging and trickery in the beginning and as their approach changed so had the win spirits¡¯ tactics. Others mentioned that they tried to sense the wind to figure out where to go or were trying to understand why we could hear the spirits outside their territory but not in it, but no one else seemed to be trying to follow the spaces of dead air. No one even mentioned that they noticed that kind of spot. Just wind, wind, and more wind.

    However, listening to them made me realize I had neglected a fundamental thing I could be doing: talking with the spirits. I had given my initial greeting and then fallen back on my old habits of observation and experimentation so I could figure out what I needed to on my own. It wasn¡¯t like the wind spirits were mentors who could answer my questions if I decided to ask them or even a trusted friend.

    What was there to talk about with them? They might swallow my voice so no one else could hear me, but that still didn¡¯t entice me enough to spill my secrets or desires or fears. Those were my own and I didn¡¯t want to share them.

    Perhaps I could make use of all the stories and legends I knew but that would also be a distraction from sensing the wind, and being able to do that held more appeal then blabbing my head off just because that was the most obvious way to communicate.

    Besides, once I stepped onto a path, the wind spirits became an oppositional force. They were what kept me from progressing. I didn¡¯t want to talk to them about the weather and random stories. I¡¯d be interesting in what they had to say, how they decided it was time to change up the challenge, but I couldn¡¯t know that unless I was suddenly able to understand them.

    I surprised Prevna by keeping to my spot instead of immediately hopping up to cross the veil once I finished my meal, but then she caught on that I wanted to speak to Mishtaw, so she drew the other people who were lingering with a comment or two to join her for the next round of trial attempts.

    Mishtaw shifted to face me fully, ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°At the beginning you made a point of how long we¡¯d have to complete the trial and that ¡®if¡¯ we completed this trial we¡¯d be able to attempt tempering. But earlier you told Prevna everyone would reach a wellspring and that¡¯s how we earn the boon.¡± I held her gaze.

    ¡°So which is it?¡±

    Mishtaw clicked her tongue before her lips twitched up into brief smile. ¡°Still noticing the little details?¡± She didn¡¯t admonish me for eavesdropping even though I¡¯d thought she might. ¡°Everyone will reach a wellspring. But it¡¯s still important to put the effort in so the wind spirits can guide you to the best one. If you waited until the last day to engage with them then you might as well wait for the next trial period¡ªthe boon would be next to useless¡ªand there are those who thought they¡¯d have four days instead of three and missed their opportunity.¡±

    I took in the new information, parsing it so I could decide what I wanted to ask next. This wasn¡¯t a trial we could fail, at least not in the same way the others had worked. If everyone could earn the boon no matter what they did, then the benefit we gained with the boon was even more important then I initially thought. That would truly show how worthy the spirits had found us.

    ¡°Do we have to talk to the spirits?¡±

    Mishtaw¡¯s face brightened with amusement. ¡°No, there are different forms of communication. But you aren¡¯t likely to reach the Wellsprings of Communion or Devotion from what we¡¯ve seen if that¡¯s your approach.¡±

    They weren¡¯t my goal anyway.

    I stood up and nodded my thanks to her. It was time to see if my approach would get me the results I wanted.

    ¡°Gimley?¡± I turned back to my mentor to see what she had to say. ¡°Don¡¯t forget to eat. Or sleep.¡± Mishtaw¡¯s typically stern demeanor softened somewhat. ¡°If you can manage that I¡¯ll look forward to seeing how you surprise us.¡±

    I allowed myself my own small smile. ¡°You should.¡±

    I might not know what approach would get the wind spirits to take me to the Mother Spring, but I doubted it was the common approaches that immediately came to mind when seedlings attempted this trial, given how few actually received their boon from it. The others didn¡¯t seem to be doing the same thing I was and my approach appealed to me in a way setting myself against wind gusts and talking my head off didn¡¯t. I¡¯d see how far it got me and what I might need to change as the wind spirits guided the trial at their own pace. Now that I didn¡¯t need to worry about if I reached a wellspring I could take more care in how I did.

    Though, perhaps, talking to the sprites just a little bit more wouldn¡¯t hurt.

 Book 5 - Ch. 5: The Leaf Veil

    While I did resolve to sleep some during the trial, I also decided to stick to my altered schedule. So while the others had their most intense practice in the morning, I slept and then I¡¯d start in the early afternoon and make my own attempts long into the night, so I could still have hours when the space belonged to the wind spirits and me alone. That night, though, Juniper did join me for about an hour after the sun went down. Later she told me that it made it easier when everything was dark and she couldn¡¯t easily where she might fall even when her blindfold was off, but she didn¡¯t commit to changing her sleep schedule since she didn¡¯t like sleeping during the day.

    I used the first day and night after my enforced rest to keep perfecting my ability to sense the wind around me and take advantage when it fell still. As I did, I got closer and closer to the layer of shifting needles and leaves that blanketed the entire basin about halfway down. As Mishtaw said, the sprites had obscured the lower pathways so we couldn¡¯t see how they might twist or where the wellsprings were. A second veil of the wind spirits own making.

    I had spent some time watching that layer of pine needles and leaves ebbing and flowing but no matter where or how long I watched they didn¡¯t stop moving. Which raised another question for my choice on how to proceed: what did I do when I was in an area where the wind never stopped? Where there were no gaps?

    I could force a gap by blocking the oncoming wind with a shield or some other obstruction, but I wasn¡¯t inclined to carry around wide, heavy objects, and it¡¯d be a temporary solution at best since the wind could flow around it. Especially if the wind changed direction as the leaf veil tended to do. Perhaps I could always block the wind if I got good enough to react immediately to instantaneous changes in its flow, but I wasn¡¯t there yet.

    In a similar vein of thought, I could force my way through the veil and then resume my way of sensing the winds around me, but I was reluctant to throw away what I had been practicing just get past a crucial obstacle. It was like admitting that what I was trying to do wasn¡¯t good enough.

    If the spirits were amenable I could also ask them to part the leaf veil so I could pass through. It seemed like Wren and Prevna had done something similar to that when they managed to get through the veil earlier in the evening. The wind spirits also briefly parted the leaf veil when they were returning seedlings to the starting platform after they had failed below. I kept the idea as a back up plan.

    What I really wanted to try was the next best thing to finding the pockets of still air: slipping among the weakest breezes, riding the edges of the strongest gusts so that they couldn¡¯t push me with their full strength. The wind might be able to slip into any crack, but the idea of thriving where other whisper struggled was growing on me. It''d be good to be able to use the boon even when there was little wind.

    Perhaps if there was another situation similar to the shore, where all the wind got sucked away, I might be able to tell where it had gone or still be able to communicate when the others. Or perhaps I¡¯d be able to feel and use the faintest breaths of wind that others couldn¡¯t even feel. Or perhaps if one of those wasn¡¯t the ability earning my boon would grant me, perhaps instead I¡¯d be able to help call the wind to an area that was barren of it, like the Wind Caller and Reforester, even if those had been their blessings and not the side effect of a boon.

    But to find out what I might earn, first I had to get past the the leaf veil and then to a wellspring. Preferably the Mother Spring.

    The wind spirits had thrown all their tricks at me, but this time I had reached the leaf veil. I could hear the vast, shifting crackle and shuffle of thousands of leaves and pine needles moving around near my feet. I¡¯d have to step into it and then not get pushed off course as I descended, step by step, until it rose above my head. It made my slightly grateful for my height, since I wouldn¡¯t have to spend has long in the shifting mass as Breck or Loclen would.

    I felt the wind, tasted it, but I stayed where I was, frustrated. The leaf veil, at least the area in front of me, all moved at the same pace in compact swirls and zig zags. There wasn¡¯t a weak batch of wind to take advantage of. Still, in the next moment, I did advance. Tried to stick to the edge of the streams of wind, but I only got up to my knees before I shifted too far to one side and got spun off the path by different wind gust.

    I tried several more times. All with similar results.

    The next time I waited¡­and waited. I pushed all thoughts about the trial¡¯s impending deadline out of my mind as well as ideal worries that the others might be coming to start their morning attempts soon. Mishtaw had said everyone reached a wellspring and that would be true for me as well.

    I could be patient. I could be still. Even if they were skills I tended to abandon when other options presented themselves. Rather than stubbornly forcing my way forward, I could stubbornly stay exactly where I was and create my own stillness while the winds shifted around me. Eventually, there would be a moment of calm or I¡¯d have grown familiar enough with the way the leaf veil moved that I could move through it without being blown over.

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    The wind spirits blew and gusted from all angles, but they refrained from tugging on me as they had in the beginning nor did they whip up the winds to such an extent that they blew me off my feet. At one point, they did take away the bubble of still air I had been waiting in so my hair blew into my mouth, but they kept the wind relatively gentle. It seemed focused around my feet and head, like they were confused about why I wasn¡¯t continuing forward. I could feel that the sprites had wrapped the gentler breezes with stronger winds that arced around me and headed straight for the leaf veil, perhaps as a guide in case I lost my way.

    I pulled the hair from my mouth and shook my head. ¡°I know it¡¯s there.¡±

    The wind around my ankles became slightly more insistent.

    ¡°You know what I¡¯ve been doing. I¡¯ll try again when I can apply what I¡¯ve learned.¡±

    The rustling in front of me intensified and as it did I felt small gaps of stillness open in the leaf veil. When I reached out to feel what had changed, I felt a tower of leaves pressed together. The sprites had made their own approximation of tree trunks blocking their winds.

    I pricked a wrist with my prayer needle and flung a droplet of blood into the winds. ¡°Thank you for your hospitality.¡±

    This time I took advantage of their favor and slipped into the gap closest to me so I could duck under the leaf veil and continue on my way. As I did, however, I continued to sense the winds around me so that, eventually, I could make my own way through without it being handed to me.

    Below the leaf veil the trial changed.

    The wind spirits stopped testing me for every step. In fact, the bubble of still air widened significantly so that I was sure the edges of it went past the edges of the path I was on.

    And I could hear them.

    The shock of it, after so long with just wind and silence, caused me to miss a step and I had to stumble to catch myself from tripping over my own feet.

    The wind spirits laughter, their unintelligible comments, their questions and instructions, were faint but I could hear them. The block they had put on the air above was gone.

    And there was one thing I could understand that they wanted, something that wasn¡¯t words but an impression that seemed to find meaning anyway.

    Look. Look!

    When I didn¡¯t move quick enough to remove my blindfold, a tendril of wind surged toward me and pulled it right off my head. I blinked as my vision adjusted to using my dark sight boon after hours of staring at the cloth over my eyes. The willful bit of wind spun the blindfold over my head once, twice, before throwing it at my chest as the sprite spun away. I caught the blindfold and stuffed it into my belt.

    Peering around I couldn¡¯t see as much as I would¡¯ve liked. The wind spirits had pulled more leaves and pine needles into the vortex that they¡¯d formed around me, so I couldn¡¯t see much more than the path I was on and the air around it. But I immediately noticed that my ability to sense the wind had changed. It was more difficult to feel the minute changes as it shifted in the vortex. Just the act of seeing acted as a distraction, but I¡¯d adjust, just like I would to the leaf veil, given enough time.

    I took an experimental step forward and the vortex moved with me. It didn¡¯t take me long to figure out why the wind sprites had given me my vision back.

    There was less logic here below the leaves.

    The stone path I was on narrowed to a point and beyond it were large leaves, as wide as I was tall, spinning lazily in the air. Some moved up and down, others side to side, but regardless of that there was wide gaps between them. If I still had my blindfold on then I would have plunged down into the abyss every time without being any wiser about what was in front of my face.

    It seemed like Juniper¡¯s nightmare, but perhaps the wind spirits had a kinder path for those that became hysterical when it came to heights. Even I was skeptical about whether the leaves and the wind spirits¡¯ whim could keep me aloft. But that same kind of impression came again from the sprites that surrounded me.

    Jump!

    Unless I wanted to backtrack the way I came I didn¡¯t have much of a choice.

    I jumped.

    The leaf was waxy and somewhat pliable under my weight, but I didn¡¯t immediately fall through it like I half expected. Instead, I had to catch myself and shove myself forward so my weight didn¡¯t pull me off the edge.

    After that I had a choice of another two leaves while the sprites urged me to Jump! Jump!

    I focused on sensing the winds, trying to figure out if there was a trick to which one to pick. The one on the left moved up and down while the one on the right moved side to side, and they were same distance from me. If the wellsprings were at the bottom of the basin then going down would be the best option, but I¡¯d have to time my jump so I wouldn''t have as harsh of an impact if I went for the left leaf. Timing would also be important for the right leaf but I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about falling extra far.

    I went for the left and landed with an impact that knocked the air out my lungs. After that there were another two leaves and another two. I focused on descending downward.

    Then I jumped again onto a leaf with a red rim. It shuddered and then shifted with my movement. Not expecting the change, I fell off and the wind spirits caught me before ferrying me back to the starting platform.

    It didn¡¯t take me long to become wary of the leaves with similar borders. They all moved erratically and I noticed that there didn¡¯t seem to be any other leaves near to them once I landed on them. Dangerous dead ends.

    I entered the lower section of the spirits¡¯ home three more times before the others came and I called an end to my trial runs. I¡¯d sleep and eat, and then it would be time for what could be our last day to earn our boons if the wind spirits weren¡¯t generous.

 Book 5 - Ch. 6: Affinities

    There were more oddities and wonders in the lower half of the wind spirits¡¯ home than just giant leaves that could hold a person aloft. There were also invisible wind slides that I only noticed due to my newfound sensitivity to the wind¡ªand the sprites pulling some leaves into a slide¡¯s wake. But perhaps those things would be expected in a place so full of wind.

    There was also rock worn so smooth that it was like reflective ice. I could see my reflection in it better than a calm pool of water but I didn¡¯t linger there. The wind spirits made moving pictures of people and landscapes with the various bits of plant life and dirt at their disposal. I did end up watching that longer than I meant to when the sprites opened up their vortex so I could see what they were up to. There were also spots where it looked like pieces of banners for the Warming of the Winds Festivals had been preserved and large groups of wind spirits were converged around them. Those spots were freezing cold whenever I entered them.

    It didn¡¯t take me long to realize that forcing my way downward wasn¡¯t going to get me to a wellspring, but it did take me a little longer than I¡¯d like to admit to give up on the tactic and try something else. The wind could be direct, but it rarely chose do so. Instead, my options seemed to be work my way all around the lower area and hope I stumbled on a wellspring or the spirits revealed one to me.

    I did what I could to find the pockets with little to no wind, but there was little of that to be had below the leaf veil. What I did find felt like they were there simply due the wind spirits humoring me. I leaned hard on my ability to send the wind as I tried to figure out which way it might turn or what I could use around me to lessen the flow.

    It felt like using stepping stones to cross a stream as I moved from one still air pocket another; except that the stream was more of a raging torrent and no matter what I did I couldn¡¯t avoid its touch even when I leapt from stepping stone to another as carefully as possible. And that was when I could find another spot to leap to, which was rarely the case more often than not.

    It was easy to lose track of time during this particular boon trial. We had no way to watch the sky when we were blindfolded and then, when the blindfold came off, the view was replaced by a ceiling of leaves and pine needles. Nor did I ever come across another seedling while in the lower area. The spirits shielded us from each other¡¯s view and with the paths we could take being much more mobile than the stone ones above, it seemed they could easily manipulate where we went.

    At first, I was stressed about the lack of time. Even if we were given another day, that was little in the scheme of things when it had taken me the first two just to get down to the lower level. Nor did I like that it seemed like I couldn¡¯t make progress without the spirits¡¯ permission: they decided what paths were available to me and I still needed their help to cross the leaf veil. Eventually, though, I was forced to push those worries to the back of my mind since they only seemed to push me to make quick judgments and idiotic mistakes.

    Like with the stone paths above, I mapped out the paths I took in the lower area in my mind and that confirmed what I had suspected: the spirits were shifting the paths I knew and changing spots so that it might be different for the three different times I passed through it. The only things that didn¡¯t change were the spots of cold surrounding the relics of past festivals.

    The wind spirits were also continuing to assess me. They took in everything I did¡ªand adapted to it. They stopped tugging on my clothes, they started to make more landscape pictures rather than ones of a family walking happily together, and slowly, carefully they allowed me to understand more of what they said to each other. I still couldn¡¯t make out their words, but, like with the fire dancers, the meaning and feelings behind the words pressed on my mind.

    They showed me their joy in playing with each other and discovering what made the seedlings tick during the trial. They poured into me their need to move and go faster until I was sprinting down a path of leaves, until I could feel how their restraint during the trial edged toward a point of pain for them. They shared with me how much they relished feeding on the cold and said I was wind bitten since they had pulled the cold out of me before. I tried to ask what that meant but all I got was glee and a sort of kinship in response.

    For the most part though, once the initial excited rush of impressions passed, they left me to my own thoughts and plans. The wind spirits knew I wasn¡¯t one to chat the time away with them nor had I entirely given up on my experiments. For all the wonders the sprites showed me, I tested myself to see how they affected my ability to feel the wind, how I might be able to use them to work my way closer to the Mother Spring. I didn¡¯t welcome interruptions to my experiments, but I did try to learn more about the wellspring from the spirits.

    They weren¡¯t forthcoming. They muffled themselves whenever I tried to ask about it and then I had to wait until they got brave enough to communicate with me again. They didn¡¯t share much about the other wellsprings either. I just got a bunch of impressions that basically amounted to You¡¯ll know when you¡¯re ready.

    I thought I was ready. I consistently passed the obstacles they put in my way and my ability to understand them and the air currents were improving. The only thing I really needed was the boon and a good benefit from the wellspring to go along with it.

    But I continued to move in circles and the wind sprites seemed no closer to guiding me to where I wanted to go. Frustration built. Part of me couldn¡¯t help but feel like it was similar to when the mountain spirit had tried to twist my wish from me for her own ends. I might have my own plans, but while I was in their domain there was little I could do take true control.

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    So I stopped moving. I squeezed my way through a throng of wind spirits and into a pocket of cold. Normally, I would¡¯ve squeezed back out the other side as quick as I could since these pockets were like stepping into the middle of the cold season¡ªand I had none of the proper clothing on. But this time I stopped in front of fraying banner made of faded cloth and twigs on an outcropping of rock.

    The cold pockets were the only spots of true stillness below the leaf veil. Perhaps being still wouldn¡¯t get me to the wellspring, but neither had moving around, and being in the cold, frozen air made me feel like it was easier to think. No longer pushed around or rushing to nowhere.

    While I had no wish to think of the wish maker, thoughts of her lingered as I sat cross legged and made it apparent to the wind spirits that I had no intention on moving on despite already shivering violently.

    She had always been insistent that I be true to myself, that I get to the heart of what I actually wanted, and I couldn¡¯t help but think that this trial might be similar with how quick the spirits were to adapt to each seedling.

    I was trying to reach the Mother Spring, but only because I liked the mystique of it and because I thought it¡¯d help earn me respect. But there was a small part of me that reluctantly doubted whether that wellspring would actually be the best fit. I might take care of my own, but I had no desire to be a mother. I wouldn¡¯t want my boon to excel at something a mother was supposedly known for.

    I wanted something that would help me when the wind was scarce, something that would help Esie¡¯s request, something unique that I could leverage to earn respect. Something that wouldn¡¯t allow me to be dismissed and ignored.

    If there was another spring that fit what I wanted and the skills I¡¯d been developing better than the Mother Spring, then, perhaps, it was time for me to allow for that other opportunity. Mishtaw had said the wind spirits would guide us to a wellspring but I hadn¡¯t doing a very good job of allowing myself to be guided.

    My eyelashes stuck together as I opened my eyes. ¡°Where would you take me?¡±

    The vortex of leaves and throng of wind spirits around me went as still as the air inside the cold pocket, just for a moment, before I felt them open up a space in the air in front of me. A large leaf was pulled even with the edge of the outcropping and then another a step higher. More and more leaves came until they formed a path upward past the edge of the vortex around me. There was still open space next to that path and I could feel the wind spirits¡¯ intent.

    Will you climb or fall?

    Falling would get me to the bottom of the basin the quickest and theoretically to where I assumed the wellsprings would be, but if this was less about being practical and more about the meaning behind the options, I knew what I preferred.

    I began to climb.

    No matter what I might wish there some part of me that could never quite escape being her daughter. Ambition wasn¡¯t something easily forgotten.

    Once I reached the top of the curving staircase I was presented with another option: enter a cave or follow a stone path further up the side of the basin. The stone path was full of shifting winds and chattering spirits.

    I went inside the cave. The air was still there and thankfully the narrow entrance quickly widened out into a large cavern. From there all the paths led downward, but I had four options instead of two. Once again I was presented with the four aspects of the goddess and made to pick between them, but this time there wasn¡¯t a statue in the middle of the room instead.

    Star strewn hair was carved over entrance while another had an arch of tree roots. The third had a dark gray, gauzy cloth the likes of which I¡¯d never seen before but that looked like moving shadow, and the fourth looked an open wound that dripped with water instead of blood.

    This cave looked too permanent to be something the wind spirits shifted around as part of their trial. I narrowed my eyes at where I thought the wind spirits were crowding behind me. Less of them had followed me in the cave than the crowd I had outside and from the way the air was shifting around them, they didn¡¯t like entering here.

    ¡°Do all the seedlings have to pick a path?¡±

    The wind spirits rippled and I got a strong sense of denial¡­along with something else. It seemed that only those less¡­thrilled to be in constant contact with everyone else tended to make their way to the cave. The loners.

    Well, the goddess wasn¡¯t known for sharing, so perhaps that made sense in its own way.

    So, to pick between the paths of night, roots, shadow, and blood. I wasn¡¯t sure if this would actually set me on some kind of path that the goddess cultivated in her followers or if it was another symbolic choice to see what I was drawn towards, and the wind spirits weren¡¯t much help in that regard either. They only hinted that my choice would inform the wellspring I found.

    I immediately disregarded the path of blood. It was the least appealing both in appearance and in meaning. The only path steeped in blood that would have wanted was that of a healer tending to injuries and since that was closed to me that path lost all of my interest. The path of roots was interesting because it was inherently linked to pine trees and thus the shadow paths, but more likely the path of shadow had the better link to those paths. But I was also reluctant to walk down another path full of plants when it had been hard enough to finally cut my ties, as best I could, to my previous one, so I discarded the path of roots as well. The stories of the goddess using her roots to claim territory and choke Grislander into submission only reinforced that decision. I had no desire to be an enforcer like Jin.

    Which left the paths of shadow and night. Part of me was drawn to the path of shadow due to the success I¡¯d had with the shadow paths, despite that one mistake. But, surprisingly, I felt more drawn to the path of night. What that path could offer was more ambiguous than the rest, but between my blessing and the night¡¯s connection to death as well as the little lights of the stars being points to navigate by in the darkness when I also wanted my boon from the wellspring to help in difficult times, it felt like it could fit what I wanted the best.

    I decided to accept that feeling and see where it led. After all, trying to force my way forward with how I thought things should be hadn¡¯t been working well in the wind spirits¡¯ home so far.

    All the wind spirits watched was I entered the path of night and this time only two followed me.

 Book 5 - Ch. 7: Path of the Night

    The path of night wound deep into the rock. Deep enough that I was sure I had passed below the bottom of the spirits¡¯ basin and possibly past the edges of the plateau, so that I was deep in the bowels of some mountain. Despite that the air remained as fresh as it had outside.

    I could feel it moving past me. Brushing lightly back to the chamber where I had made my choice before it was swept up into the chaotic hustle and bustle of the basin. There was no escaping it as the tunnel drew in close so that it was only a foot or taller than my head and barely a foot to either side.

    I waited for my dread of small spaces to well up as it always did. To make my skin feel tight and my chest constrict, like my own body was shrinking down into a space too small to fit me, as the memories threatened to overwhelm me. And that dread did come, but it wasn¡¯t as pressing as I was used to dealing with in similar spaces.

    The reason for that was simple: as the tunnel narrowed, it also became more expansive. I had already seen two night skies where they didn¡¯t belong underground: a minor miracle of the goddess in Flickermark and the carved representation in the Night Cave. Now I got to experience a third version but, instead of walking beneath an impossible night, it as if I was walking through it, among the campfires of stars.

    Little glowing specks filled the air and clustered on the wall, though their light was so minuscule that rather than relieve the surrounding darkness, they only enhanced it. The specks swirled and danced in the light flow of air as well as my movements. They didn¡¯t burn. Didn¡¯t feel like much of anything, though the ground transitioned from hard stone to something spongier, like sheep¡¯s wool if it could support a person¡¯s weight. I had crouched down, trying to figure out what it was, but even with dark sight the most I could determine was that it was pockmarked with a thousand and more holes, some as small as a needles, others as wide as a finger. If I ignored the oddity of it, which wasn¡¯t nearly as difficult as it would have been before I had traveled across giant floating leaves and wind slides, it felt like I imagined walking on a cloud would.

    I could still sense the tunnel¡¯s walls around me, but with how the glowing specks were suspended they created an illusion that made my eyes think I was staring into a vast night sky that expanded all around me. I did my best not to disturb the illusion since it made my passage easier. I had no desire to encourage any more memories of her, especially when I was so close to finally earning my boon.

    The path wound slowly onward. Never at a steep incline, but with enough gradual twists and turns that even I eventually lost my sense of direction. Between the lack of landmarks and the unchanging surroundings, the only thing that assured me I was moving forward and not stuck in place was when I glanced and saw the disturbs glowing motes behind me. That was also how I knew when the path turned even though I felt like I was just marching ahead in a straight line. Still, the light flow of air was quick to smooth out any hints of my passage.

    It felt like walking in a timeless bubble. Like when I emerged, if I did, only a minute could have gone by outside or decades. But I refused to turn back. Either way I wanted to see what was at the tunnel.

    Eventually, my persistence was rewarded. The path I was on split into two. I could either continue following the night speckled path forward or I could turn off onto a new one.

    The new path lost the motes of light, the deep darkness between them. Instead it filtered into an opaque grayness, that I wasn¡¯t sure was the result from the dark sight boon or if that was really the color of the path. The spongy ground sank back into hard stone and there didn¡¯t seem to be much to recommend it over the mystical path I was following. It was drab, boring, and wholly uninteresting.

    But there wasn¡¯t any wind.

    As soon as I took more than a couple steps onto that path I couldn¡¯t feel the slight breath that had been sweeping past me the entire time since I had set foot onto the path of night. Perhaps, to others, that would indicate that this wasn¡¯t the right path, that they really should keep following the path that wholly embodied what it might be like to walk through the night sky.

    For me, the gray path piqued my curiosity. I had already seen my unfortunate share of miracles and impossible things, so the sheer lack of anything remotely interesting in this passage drew my attention. It was like it was trying to be ignored. More than that, the quiet, still air called to what I had been practicing throughout my trial. Finding the spaces that the wind missed, making my own path through the dead air.

    I left the path full of the night sky behind me without looking back.

    Only one wind spirit followed me.

    The tunnel was still tight around me and without the false expanse of stars the dread rose and threatened to distract me. To pull me into memory after memory with nothing in the dullness around me to draw me back out, but this wasn¡¯t the first time I traveled down a narrow path nor was it as cramped as the crack leading to the Dawn Crawler¡¯s cavern. I shoved the fear down deep and narrowed my focus down to a single goal: reach the wellspring that must lie at the end of the tunnel.

    I strode on and quickly learned that my new path had none of the ease of the original. When it widened there were drop offs to climb down or small cliffs to climb up, like the bluffs around Gabbler Shore. There were pebbles to slip on if I wasn¡¯t paying attention, given how they blended into everything else, and the air tasted stale with dust.

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    I wasn¡¯t sure how the path worked into the theme of ¡®night¡¯ unless it had something to do with forging ahead into a bland unknown, but the more difficult it became the more I became determined to reach its end. I didn¡¯t like the sense that it seemed created to give whoever decided to follow it excuse after excuse to turn back.

    I wanted to know what was being hidden behind boring stone and inconvenient climbs. What I might find at the end of all the decisions the wind spirits had put before me in their home and what boon they thought I was best suited for. Each difficulty only fanned the flames of my curiosity and stubbornness.

    At the very end of the path was the one section that nearly made me turn back. It a crack in the wall, a narrow chute, with barely enough space for me to wriggle through. I¡¯d have to lay flat on my stomach, head to the side, and pull myself forward into the narrow darkness with no way to know how far I had to go. The other end wasn¡¯t in sight, though I could hear a great rushing of wind in the distance.

    My final trial. Prevna wasn¡¯t here to coax me forward, but neither was there anyone to see me break, if it came to that. No one to block me in or judge my progress. Nothing but a dark passage of stone that couldn¡¯t hurt me or anyone else.

    Well, I could be disciplined. If the tunnel wasn¡¯t playing tricks on my hearing the wellspring I was looking for was likely just beyond the awful, tiny passageway.

    I got down on my hands and knees, then flat on my stomach and squeezed in. Immediately, I could hear my breath, loud in the small space, and feel my pulse pick up under my skin. Prevna had told me ten steps before. I couldn¡¯t take steps here, so instead I forced myself to slowly count to ten and keep moving forward while I did so. Then I¡¯d stop, force a long, calming breath in my nose and out my mouth, and then count and move forward again.

    And again.

    It was an awful eternity compared to the peaceful nonexistent of the night path. Here I was all too aware of my body and the cramped space around me. The memories of being trapped and frozen boiling up in my mind until I found myself flitting back and forth from one nightmare to the next. A nightmare of the past and then the nightmare of the present.

    Over and over.

    To add to the misery, there was one terrible moment when the crawl space narrowed even further unexpectedly and I found my arm pinned against my side. I tried to twist and shift, but the space was so small that I couldn¡¯t adjust enough to get free. Finally, when I couldn¡¯t take the thought of staring at the same patch of stone until the rest of the world withered away, I exhaled all the air in my lungs and that gave me just enough room to pull my arm free and keep moving.

    I came out of the other end of the crawl space gasping and unable to focus on anything but the sense that I couldn¡¯t feel any stone walls around me. The air felt cavernous. I laid on the ground longer than I will ever admit, legs balled up so they wouldn¡¯t be in the tiny tunnel, until I calmed down enough to think again.

    When I gained enough presence of mind to pay attention, I dragged myself up into a sitting position and focused on the loud rushing of wind. It didn¡¯t take me long to locate it as it was directly in my line of sight.

    A geyser of wind burst from the ceiling, filled with the little motes of light, only for the wind and tiny specks to funnel into a wider hole offset to the right. The hole that sucked in the wind was worn smooth from the force of the moving air, but nothing else in the wide cavern so much as stirred. Not a single bit of wind was allowed to escape.

    The wind spirit that had followed me the entire way here drifted into my line of sight as it drew in dust and gave me the name for what I was seeing.

    The Twin Founts. One to give and one to take away.

    The wind spirit cycled the dust from one side of its body to the other, so I could only see half of its vaguely humanoid shape at a time. A head and arms that stretched too long, but no legs as the lower half of its body dissipated to nothing.

    Accept your boon at this wellspring and your bounty will be twofold: bolster the air when it is weak and take whispered secrets.

    My eyes widened as the spirit¡¯s meaning sank further into my mind. By earning my boon here I¡¯d be able to send messages in areas where the wind was weak more easily, just like I wanted, but I¡¯d also be able to listen in on messages sent by other whisper women rather than hearing nothing when the message wasn¡¯t meant for me. My ability to do both would need practice, and I wasn¡¯t sure I cared enough about other people¡¯s affairs to want to listen in on them, but I also preferred to gather my own information rather than rely on someone else to relay it to me.

    And that was ignoring the fact that this wellspring would give me two benefits with the wind whispering boon when the rest of the wellsprings I heard of only provided one. For all that I was still somewhat curious about the Mother Spring, just to know what extra boon it granted, I knew I couldn¡¯t let this opportunity pass.

    I rose to my feet and padded down the last gentle incline to the cavern¡¯s main floor. When I stood under where the wellspring bent to the side, where the air went from pouring forth to being swallowed up, I felt the now familiar sensation of being lifted by a wind spirit. It bore me upwards until I was caught right in the middle of the two overwhelming forces and then it impressed upon me what I needed to do.

    ¡°Carry my words and I¡¯ll carry you.¡±

    As soon as I finished speaking I felt the wind sprite surge upward, wrapping around me, pushing into my ears, nose, mouth. I couldn¡¯t breathe, couldn¡¯t scream, but even as it poured in and the winds from the wellspring buffeted me, I could feel my understanding expand.

    Suddenly, I knew how speak my words into the wind and have it carry them to another. I knew how to use the two new aspects of my boon even though my control over them was pathetically weak. I felt my awareness of the winds grow as well as my understanding of the wind spirits¡¯ language, if it could be called that.

    Between one moment and the next, my whole perception of the world shifted as the knowledge bloomed in my mind, and then my feet were touching the ground and I couldn¡¯t sense the wind spirit anymore. I patted my ears, face, throat. Did I have a wind spirit inside me now?

    I didn¡¯t feel any different. Couldn¡¯t sense another presence skin deep except for a lingering feeling of gratitude to feel all the winds of the world. I¡ª

    I couldn¡¯t think about what might have just happened. Not right now, no matter how the questions piled up, because now there were other presences in the cavern. Dozens and dozens of wind spirits all posing the same question:

    Do you accept the tempering?

    This was another opportunity I couldn¡¯t pass up.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 8

    Hey everyone, so unfortunately time has gotten away from me again this week and I''m not going to be able to get the chapter done tonight. My schedule should change in a couple weeks so hopefully then I''ll be able to get the chapter out on time more consistently from then on. Thank you for all for your patience! I should have this one out by Friday at the latest but I''m aiming for tomorrow.

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    On a brighter note than the delayed chapter, I found the toggle for the suggest edit function here on RR, so for those of you who are extra kind and take the time to point out the errors my eyes skipped over, it should be easier for you to share those edits with me now. Thank you for your help! And thank you all, again, for your patience with me and for reading! I hope you enjoy the next chapter when I get it done this week.

 Book 5 - Ch. 8: Tempering

    I willed my acceptance to the wind spirits. Skipping past my chance to complete tempering here had never been an option. If I wanted to fulfill Esie¡¯s request to learn more about what might be going on outside the goddess¡¯s territory, if I wanted to prove myself as more than the troublemaker others wanted to mark me as, then I needed to complete my tempering within the wind spirits¡¯ home.

    There was a swirl of excitement around the chamber and then I was buoyed upward again, pulled into the air by a crowd of wind sprites. I only had a moment to wonder if the tempering would happen in this cave or if they meant to take me somewhere before I was swept, over and down, into the second half of the Twin Founts.

    We plunged downward into the hole and all I could feel was relief that it wasn¡¯t as scrapingly narrow as the crawl space I used to enter the cavern. Then the sprites went faster and faster with no regard for gravity or tight corners. I found myself hurtling toward walls, certain I was going to break my neck against the stone, only for the wind spirits to keep pulling me around the corner, a finger¡¯s width of air between the rock and my nose.

    Hating that I couldn¡¯t control my flight and the repetitive, draining panic each new section of the passage provided, I closed my eyes. That way all I could see was the occasional gentle glowing light of a mote that passed closed by as the specks filled the wellspring¡¯s wind. After that the trip could have been pleasant if I had been able to ignore what the rush of air against my skin meant. It took more will than I liked to keep my eyes shut and not give into the urge to see just how close the stone walls were.

    I only opened up my eyes to see what was happening when I felt the space around me suddenly widen. It was both better and worse than I expected. I was in open air without any place to land within reach. If the spirits dropped me all I could look forward to was a long fall. Below there were only thick clouds of fog, though I could sense where the goddess¡¯s veil billowed out all around us. The plateau¡¯s edge rose up as a cliff behind me, numerous holes pocketing its surface. One notable opening was wide and smoothed, well worn, and a large outcropping of rock jutted from its mouth.

    And the tip of that outcropping was covered in a large swirling mass of storms. Everything from snow to sleet and rain to scorching winds swept through its depths. Blistering heat, hotter than any warm season day I experienced, and mind numbing cold, so freezing I was sure it could make me a living statue within a few breaths, both emanated from that ball of storms. It seemed to pull in different wellspring wind streams while creating others.

    This was a place of wild strength and beauty, and I no longer wondered at the trepidation whisper women had when they discussed staying in the storm for long. The nature of the chaotic, impossible storm before me made the season changing storms look tame in comparison. Even if I earned my boon here, I was no longer sure of my ability to stay in the storm long enough to gather information.

    The wind spirits set me down on the outcropping near the entrance to the cave that disappeared into the plateau. Then they gave me their final direction:

    Enter and temper by your own will. Seek the heart for greater hardship but quicker reward. Or leave to dance among lesser storms.

    They scattered, seemingly to observe my choice. I eyed the storm of storms. It dwarfed me, but I refused to be cowed for long. The worst it could do was freeze me all over again, but with the hot blasts of air I doubted I¡¯d remain that way for long. Nor did I have any way to see how far the outcropping extended into the storm, but I figured that if the spirits were keeping watch then they would carry me to safety like they had in the main trial area. If they didn¡¯t, well, then this final trial would be more deadly than the rest by a large margin and I hadn¡¯t heard any rumors to that effect.

    No one else was around. Either others were in the storm or my habit of practicing long into the night had gifted me this opportunity to pitch my will against this final challenge without distractions. Lightning crackled and then boomed across the face of the storm.

    I stepped forward.

    I kept my stride smooth, unhurried, even as my heart picked up speed. My mouth dried out and I had to grit my teeth against the desire to stop and marvel at the impossible place I was headed towards. I had seen other impossible things and I doubted this would be the last. The goddess might not have created all the varied bits of life Her sister had pioneered, but Her creativity shone through in the depth She gave to the handful of things She was interested in.

    For now, I had to focus. I only had one chance to forge my body anew here and earn the final boon of elemental resistance. One chance to earn respect in a way whisper women could understand.

    I only stopped once I was a step away from the roiling storm. Its winds buffeted me, but like with the spirits¡¯ veil I could tell the true strength of its forces were hidden behind an invisible wall. I hadn¡¯t meant to stop. Originally, I had meant to stride right in, undaunted. But impulse caught me and I reached for my prayer needle. I pulled open the flap on my pants to prick one of the diamonds that made up my bless mark. Flicked the blood into the storm.

    ¡°I will persevere.¡±

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    I wasn¡¯t sure if I meant it as a prayer or a challenge or something else entirely, and only the spirits would know if the droplets flaked away or not, but it felt right. Better than acting like an imbecile who didn¡¯t know how to give respect when they wanted it in return.

    That last and first step, the one that carried me from the calm air of the open sky to the roiling madness of the storm is something I will never forget. A riot of sensations¡ªair so hot it burned my skin raw, wind so cold my fingers deadened to ice, a thousand sharp knives cutting me from all directions even as the half of my body still outside the storm only felt mild air. Tears welled up from the force of the wind and a gust strong enough to knock me off my feet slammed into my side and the only reason I stayed standing was because another blast caught my hip from the opposite direction.

    Survival instinct, what little I still had of it, flared now that there was no one else around. It tried to trip me backwards, back out of the storm. Even on the edge of the storm it was all too much. A hundred different sensations, a hundred different forces, pushing and pulling on me, changing from one body part to the next, one second to another.

    But to leave now would be failure.

    And I couldn¡¯t die.

    I shoved forward another step. Was battered down to my knees before I growled and rose to gain another step. My frozen fingers burned even as a light wind brushed passed my face smelling like a fresh meadow. Tears froze my eyes shut one moment before a scouring wind forced them open the next. There was no rhyme or reason to any of it. Just every bit of weather I had ever considered coiling around each other in this sphere.

    Rain lashed my legs and lightning flashed overhead. The air shrieked and moaned, boomed and cracked and whispered. I burned and froze. Was scraped raw by gritty winds and brushed so lightly by others I wasn¡¯t sure if it wasn¡¯t my imagination concocting something pleasant in this nightmarish place. The wind slammed me to the ground and picked me up again. Pulled my legs and arms and hair in all different directions until my joints nearly popped from their sockets.

    Despite it all I continued forcing my way forward.

    The storms got worse and the tempering continued.

    This wasn¡¯t a trial for thinking. Not unless you counted continually confronting the primal fear of being in a storm that was strong enough to destroy everything in its path. There wasn¡¯t time to react. Even if you were fast enough to move out of the way one thing you just moved into the path of another. There was no dodging, no dead spaces of quiet air, not unless you left the storm behind.

    This was trial of tolerance. Tolerance of pain and being uncomfortable and unable to control the space around you. Tolerance of only having the company of your own mind when all it wanted was to leave this overstimulating place behind. When it was certain you would die if you didn¡¯t.

    But my bless mark never prickled and the longer I stayed in the storm, after a certain point, the easier it became to stay. I knew what the storm could throw at me now even if I didn¡¯t know what would come next. And going back would require just as much effort as going forward.

    Everything around me raged. Bit and slashed and hit. I gritted my teeth and kept going forward. At some point I realized I had yet to find the edge of the outcropping despite being thrown every which way. It gave a surreal edge to the whole experience, since I was sure the outcropping had narrowed the closer I got to the storm and I should have found where it dropped off by now.

    I knew I had reached the center of the storm when I could no longer stand due to the forces swirling around me. It left me too exposed, even if I could have stayed upright longer than a heartbeat before a gust knocked me over. Still, the heat and cold, rain and sleet and snow still found me and as it did I had just enough presence of mind to realize that my body was changing.

    It wasn¡¯t easier to weather the forces being thrown at me just because I knew what to expect, but because each individual storm began to affect me less. What had given me frostbite was still uncomfortably cold, but it didn¡¯t deaden me with numbness. What had scorched and blistered my skin felt more similar to standing in a funeral pyre than diving into lava. Or so I imagined.

    Everything became just a bit milder, just a bit more bearable. Only the force of the winds kept their strength. I shifted in place, trying to determine if I had completed my final boon or if I still needed to temper further in the storm. For the other boons there had been a decisive moment between not having the boon and then gaining it: drinking shadow, catching darkness and covering my eyes, a wind spirit pouring into my head.

    That moment for this final boon hadn¡¯t come yet. If there even was one.

    The wind spirits had said to enter and temper by my own will. I kept my place in the storm through my stubbornness insisting I stay and I could already feel the changes across my body, so perhaps it was simply a waiting game. The longer I stayed in the storm the better tempering I¡¯d receive, but that didn¡¯t seem¡­completely correct. The whisper women hadn¡¯t mentioned differences in tempering between those who did temper in this storm of storms. Only between those who tempered here and those that used the season changing storms.

    It seemed too passive despite how difficult it was to stay where the storm could reach me. But how could I temper through my own will if that wasn¡¯t the answer?

    My mind caught on what I had done before entering the storm. How did we offer our will to the goddess?

    I fumbled before pulling my prayer needle free. No longer dexterous enough to undo the flap on my pant leg, I pricked my wrist before smearing the blood over Flickermark¡¯s trial mark on my chin.

    ¡°Temper me.¡±

    For a long, long moment nothing happened. Then I saw the blood flake away on a burst of wind and lightning jolted from the sky to my ribs. Everything went white with pain as my body locked up.

    I couldn¡¯t think, couldn¡¯t breathe and it was like I was frozen again, except for the way everything hurt. I don¡¯t know how much time I lost to that agony, but slowly, oh so slowly it faded away until there was nothing but the storm doing its best to beat me into submission. Except that it felt muted now, still strong and harsh, but no longer a cacophony of sensations I could barely withstand. The scorching wind no longer blistered my skin and the freezing gusts no longer froze me solid. And, unlike with a normal lightning blast, everything was still intact. My clothes, my skin. No burns or hearing loss or other injuries to speak of.

    I knew now, with certainty, that I could survive the worst the elements could throw at me longer than I had any previous right to without becoming a living statue.

    I had gained my final boon.

 Book 5 - Ch. 9: For a Favor

    Despite everything I had gone through to gain my boons, and the handful of storm winds whipping me with everything from snow to sleet and gusts dry enough set twigs on fire, I stayed in the sphere of storms. I wasn¡¯t sure how I was supposed to reach up even to plateau, much less the rest of world, with how self contained the storm was and the goddess¡¯s veil on top of that, but exhaustion didn¡¯t leave much room for thought and I had made a promise.

    I could feel the wind whispering boon waiting to catch a word and carry it off, waiting to whisper a message in my ear. Much like how I could sense the shadows from our first boon. It wasn¡¯t exactly suited to listen in on whoever and wherever I wanted, but Esie could be right about things acting oddly here and I had the advantage of the Twin Founts¡¯ blessing.

    So I laid on the ground as the storm continued to batter me and focused on the potential of the boon and in the center of my focus I placed the best image I had of Azabel: the goddess¡¯s half broken statue near the Rookery. I urged the wind to take me beyond the border, beyond anything familiar, and pushed the wind to tell me an snippets it caught about her.

    For the briefest moment the storm of storms seemed to pause, stretch in my mind¡¯s eye. Suddenly, it wasn¡¯t just here, swirling around me, but it was elsewhere, everywhere. Little pieces of storms and weather all over the world. The scale of it¡ªthe duality¡ªeven in that briefest of moments threatened to push my mind past its limit.

    I was laying on the outcropping in the storm, but I was also an angry roil of wind leading the vanguard of a thunderstorm, a fleck of snow swirling into an open doorway, a droplet splashing down into a lake and being subsumed, the gust playfully tugging on trees of a kind I had never see before, I was¡ª

    The weight of the goddess¡¯s attention pressed on me. Snapped me out of the vision and all I wanted to do was shrivel in on myself. This might be another infinitely small piece of Her attention like it had been for the Dark Sight boon, but there was no way She would ever take kindly to me trying to pry information out about Her sister without Her permission.

    Surely, that would be seen as a betrayal and there was nothing the goddess liked less.

    Hear what I cannot.

    Surely, the goddess would never admit to being unable to do something. Surely.

    But that hadn¡¯t been a wind spirit and it certainly wasn¡¯t me. Nor was I dreaming. And the goddess was nothing if not mercurial.

    I felt something seize upon my desire to hear something about Azabel that no one else knew, that could help Esie for whatever mysterious task she was trying to accomplish, along with my desire to learn more about the Lady Blue, hidden behind it.

    The desire seemed to spin out of me and fuse with the storm winds. Nothing moved. It was the single greatest pocket of still air I had found since entering the wind spirits¡¯ home. Then the winds descended and with them¡ªcacophony.

    Thousands of voices all speaking, yelling, whispering in a language I didn¡¯t know and never heard before but all of them uttered the same name over and over again.

    Azabel. Azabel.

    Prayer more brazen than anything I had ever known. Demanding and asking and pleading. A torrent of words that made me wonder if the other goddess ever made her followers shut up.

    That layer peeled away into an incessant background buzz to reveal another of people using the goddess¡¯s name to praise her and her glory. Their wonder at their home and its bountiful nature. All the wonderful things she blessed upon them.

    The wind spirits might not be able to translate the words, but hints of their meaning bled through how the wind spirits communicated, which in turn seemed to affect the wind whispering boon. Or perhaps that was another side effect of the impossible situation.

    Another layer deeper, another thousand voices. Though this time they seemed to be telling stories. I got the sense of history, great feats, and deep loss. Perhaps these were the people telling Azabel¡¯s myths and legends.

    Each layer was similar. Another group of people speaking about the goddess, but each time the numbers seemed to lessen. Become more manageable, until the very end.

    The last was a presence so vast that it encompassed all the others before it, but it also seemed diminished compared to Heliquat. Like the presence should have had Her strength and power, but something had whittled it away. Still strong, but possibly getting weaker.

    Water. Moving, shifting, everywhere.

    Somewhere my body was fighting the certainty it was drowning, so sudden was the change in what I was hearing. And the water was total. But slowly, my time growing up by a lake and then fighting on the shore, resolved what I was hearing.

    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    The water wasn¡¯t moving normally like it would in a current or from the wind. No, all the shifting I was hearing was from multitudes of shifting bodies. So many that they changed the water¡¯s natural flow.

    Then a gust of wind got ahold of my body and tossed it into the air. Another gust billowed up under me and I got sense of finality as I was tossed from the ball of storms.

    Hear no more.

    I tumbled out onto the outcropping and stopped short a foot or so from its edge. My leg flung wide, so that my foot dangled over the impossible drop to the fog below, but, frustratingly, I couldn¡¯t will up the strength to drag myself to safety.

    My body was done. Despite the lack of wounds or bruises, it knew what it had gone through. Navigating the paths in the main area of the spirits¡¯ home could be tiring on its own, never mind everything I went through after for the boons and now the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ favor.

    My mind ached and felt numb. Something warm and wet dripped from my ears and nose, and I had just enough presence of mind left to be sure it was blood. Mortal minds didn¡¯t seem to be made to witness all that the winds had offered up.

    But there¡¯d be time to dwell on all I heard later, just like with everything else that had happened. It hurt to think on it for now, and¡­secondly, I needed to get up. Go back to the plateau and show that I had gained both boons. Check on Prevna. Perhaps see if Mishtaw had a similar experience when she gained her second boon in the storm. I could decided what I¡¯d tell Esie when I had more focus and my body wasn¡¯t trying to pull me into memories simply due to how weak I was. Like how I¡¯d been too tired to sit up properly when I infected my foot after stepping on a hook.

    My mark mark wasn¡¯t prickling like it had then though. So that was something to hold onto. To remember.

    I heard footsteps coming towards me and despite my best efforts I didn¡¯t really manage to shift my head or keep my eyes open. When I felt two pairs of familiar hands my ability to stay awake deserted me entirely.

    - -

    Later I learned that while the wind spirits didn¡¯t allow whisper women into their home during the trial, my antics seemed to have ended the trial early at the end of the third night, so Mishtaw and Prevna were able to come down the ramp in the mountainside and collect me. It seemed the wind spirits weren¡¯t as keen to carry me themselves after they flung me out of the storm.

    There was no guarantee that the wind spirits would have kept the trial going for another day, but no one could deny that the winds had a sudden shift before everyone still in the spirits¡¯ home was plucked up and shoved out of the veil.

    Everyone in my cohort managed to earn the wind whispering boon before that, but there were two girls in the younger group that hadn¡¯t managed to reach a wellspring before the sudden closure. It was unprecedented. Horrific, apparently, that they¡¯d be split from everyone else in their cohort because they were slow.

    I didn¡¯t doubt I had made two new enemies, but I never bothered to pay attention to the other cohort so I didn¡¯t know their names or faces. Well, Prevna told me their names were Rolana and Stelle, but she also wasn¡¯t sure exactly what they looked like. Everyone else was hurried from the plateau shortly after the unprecedented occurrence back to the Seedling Palace.

    I was allowed to stay since I was the cause of the disturbance and I was sleeping off my bone deep exhaustion. Prevna got to stay through Mishtaw¡¯s influence and most of the other whisper women stayed because they wanted to figure out what happened. Prevna even said that there were some new arrivals who heard the gossip and arrived within an hour of Prevna and Mishtaw carrying me back to the top of the plateau.

    All in all, whatever had happened this time had been much easier to notice than when I had my visions after gaining the dark sight boon. I told Mishtaw and Prevna that I had tried to use my wind whispering boon in the storm to see if it would work, but that something must have gone wrong and I got so exhausted that the winds had to push me out of the storm.

    Both of them could tell that I was holding something back, but they didn¡¯t press me on it. Not yet. That¡¯d likely come later when they had their own thoughts in order and they thought I might be more willing to share.

    Nothing of what I experienced, except for that last moment before the vision changed to water, seemed like it might be a true secret. Really, it had seemed to be a nation of people venerating their goddess in a variety of ways and then, in the water, the Lady Blue¡¯s legions. Perhaps it would be good to insist just how many soldiers the Lady Blue seemed to have at her disposal to assault the goddesses¡¯ shores, but I wasn¡¯t sure if anything I had learned was really what Esie had wanted to know. There was nothing specific to pass along.

    But, despite that, I knew I needed at least a little time to process everything I had experienced. There had been a number of things I would¡¯ve previously thought impossible, or at least improbable, before earning these last two boons.

    I still wasn¡¯t sure if I had wind spirit existing within my skin, for one, and Mishtaw wasn¡¯t much help in determining that answer to that question. She said they became our breath and ears for the wind whispering boon. So the spirit could be there, or it could have been a symbolic gesture for earning the boon.

    Really, I wanted answers and so did everyone else, but there weren¡¯t any clear ones to be had. I might have experienced it, and I might have felt the weight of the goddess¡¯s eye, but part of me, a small part, couldn¡¯t help but wonder if everything I had heard was actually due to the goddess¡¯s power. Or if the wish maker might have somehow wormed her way in when I thought I was awake, but wasn¡¯t, and given me a taste of what a real wish might be like. Perhaps if was her doing and not the goddess¡¯s then that might be why everyone else had felt the change. Or perhaps no one would have felt anything if it was entirely a dream. Or it could have just been the nature of using winds rather than dark vision.

    I had no way to be sure. Not now. Not unless the goddess struck me down for using a wish unintentionally. And perhaps the lack of punishment was answer enough: the goddess hadn¡¯t given the people who rose Grislander out of nothing this long to ponder their mistakes.

    The questions rolled around in my mind like the chaotic storm that had given me the opportunity to reach beyond my current capabilities. After the whole experience I could only be certain of three things concerning it: I had gained all my boons, I had completed another favor for the Lady of Calm Waters, and when I returned to the Seedling Palace it¡¯d soon be time to pick which sect I¡¯d give my loyalty to.

 Book 5 - Ch. 10: Stormy Conversation

    Esie settled back against a stone, seemingly conveniently placed just for that in her work area. We were up at her garden home. It hadn¡¯t taken her long after we returned from the trial to show up at Mishtaw¡¯s place and insist that I join her for practice to make up for lost time. Mishtaw hadn¡¯t been thrilled to let her take me away, just as she was suspicious about Esie¡¯s motivations for all of my new poisoner training, but she also couldn¡¯t refuse given who Esie represented. I had my own suspicions about Esie and the Lady of Calm Waters, but it was also true I was determined to learn what I could from them for now. Losing their goodwill would only hinder me.

    So we sat by the fire pit in her work area, surrounded by her collection of dangerous plants, checking over woolrot root to make sure it was fit for use and then dicing it up into tiny pieces so it could used in recipes later. But that was easy work and it was simple enough to talk while doing it.

    ¡°Have you recovered well? I heard the storm pummeled you quite badly,¡± Esie asked.

    ¡°I earned both of the boons.¡± I cut my next bit of root more harshly than necessary. ¡°It wasn¡¯t anything I couldn¡¯t handle.¡±

    Esie smiled. ¡°Glad to hear it. I found the storm strenuous myself, but it¡¯s amazing what we can experience when we put our minds to it.¡±

    That was likely as direct as she was going to be while we were in the Seedling Palace. We might be at her second home, but there could still be prying eyes and ears. Perhaps we could have talked in the shadow paths or traveled to a random shadow somewhere, but Esie never presented it as an option. I wasn¡¯t sure if she preferred to have the cover of us doing a legitimate activity since she already indicated that others wouldn¡¯t be happy about me using the storm as I had, or if, despite her competency with everything else, she had trouble with shadow walking.

    Either way, I could speak sideways about what I had heard in the storm since there wasn¡¯t that much to share. My mind was more settled than it had been immediately following the trial and I¡¯d decided to share everything. Esie and her mistress might have their own agendas, but as it was I wasn¡¯t going to learn what they were without more information, nor could I affect anything I learned about on my own. Not as a seedling.

    So I¡¯d give them the little I had from the storm and see what they did with it. Depending on their reactions I might learn if the wish maker really might have taken advantage of my impairment or if the goddess really hadn¡¯t been in a sharing mood. However, I would keep what I saw during the dark vision trial to myself still. They hadn¡¯t earned those yet.

    I cut more root. ¡°Indeed. I was determined to withstand the storm for as long as possible, so I cast my mind about for a source of strength. I found a wealth of prayer and praise for the goddess, but it was odd, because at the core of it I felt weakness.¡±

    Esie peered past the dark root she was holding up to meet my gaze. ¡°Weakness?¡±

    ¡°It was a tough trial. Perhaps my dedication to the goddess wasn¡¯t as strong as it should¡¯ve been, as the presence I felt was diminished. After that I turned my mind to the endless strength of the ocean. Pictured myself withstanding the storm as standing the path of the depth¡¯s armies.¡±

    ¡°Such a strong imagination. I could barely even think when I was earning my boon.¡± She sighed lightly. ¡°Perhaps I should also try that next time I¡¯m in a storm.¡±

    I shrugged one shoulder. ¡°It wasn¡¯t the worst thing I¡¯ve faced. Though feeling the goddess¡¯s eye and hearing Her words certainly renewed my dedication to Her.¡±

    Esie went unnaturally still. ¡°She spoke to you?¡±

    ¡°It was what allowed me to focus enough to start imagining things, before the winds tossed me out of the storm.¡±

    I kept my tone as light as I could, but her sudden stillness set me on edge. I wasn¡¯t sure why that detail would rattle her enough for her to drop her air of ease, when I wasn¡¯t sure how else I would¡¯ve been able to hear the little bits I did. It was the same thing that had happened when I had my first visions, and only a tiny part of the goddess¡¯s actual attention. Which was miraculous in and of itself, but I wasn¡¯t sure how else I could have heard anything across territories or into the ocean¡¯s depths.

    ¡°Was your own time in the storm silent?¡± I asked.

    She chuckled and it was like nothing had happened. ¡°Oh, I wouldn¡¯t say silent. There was plenty of wind and rain to rattle my ears, but I wasn¡¯t graced with the goddess¡¯s voice.¡± Esie paused to think. ¡°No, in my case, the storm seemed to act as an amplifier for the boon I¡¯d earned and that allowed me achieve greater results.¡±

    ¡°What was your boon?¡±

    ¡°Something useful. Yours?¡±

    I considered repeating her answer, but that would only make it apparent that I wasn¡¯t completely comfortable with her. I didn¡¯t need her asking herself what else I might be hiding from her if I refused to tell her that, even if her elusive answers raised that question for me.

    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.So I gave her a half answer. ¡°I¡¯ll be able to wind whisper where the air is weak. So it might come in handy if there¡¯s ever another situation like the one on the shore.¡±

    Esie looked confused for a moment before her expression cleared. ¡°The Wind Snake incident. Yes, hopefully they won¡¯t be able to replicate that in the future.¡±

    She caught my own confused look and explained further, ¡°People heard that the wind died or was stolen on the southern shore and that it had to do with some seaside cave, and that cave was also where a large water snake destroyed a good bit of land. Everyone got tired of explaining every detail and somewhere along the line ¡®cave¡¯ got dropped, so now we have that rather misleading title. It makes for a good drinking game though: seeing what fantastical story someone can come up with based on the name and then taking a drink for every highlight they missed from what actually happened.¡±

    I focused on the woolrot root in front of me and kept quiet. It was weird to think others would have a drinking game based on what I went through.

    Esie continued on, ¡°From the versions I¡¯ve heard you¡¯ve killed that snake with everything from a lucky bit of lightning to getting it to choke on a boulder, though most people like the original, where you stab it from inside its mouth.¡±

    I paled. ¡°What?¡±

    She shifted to a more comfortable spot. ¡°People love retelling that part. That a seedling managed to kill the snake and save the day. Makes the whole thing seem even more mythlike. Really, sometimes the storyteller has to take an extra drink if they get that part wrong. Most don¡¯t know your name, but they¡¯ll add in other things for bonus points: the nickname Little Diver, that mark on your chin, things like that.¡±

    I just looked at her in horror.

    I¡¯d enjoyed my time under Mishtaw¡¯s mentorship and the fact that it meant we were away from the Seedling Palace more often than not. I didn¡¯t have to worry about Jin or the other whisper women or dealing the infamy I¡¯d gained. I could ignore all that in favor of focusing on my training.

    But now I was going to join a sect and I doubted I¡¯d be able to just disappear to another part of the goddess¡¯s territory. Not without at least some other seedlings and a whisper woman or two join me. I wouldn¡¯t be able to escape it, especially if they were connecting the different stories together.

    If they remembered my trial mark then it wouldn¡¯t be long before my journey through Flickermark was connected to the snake tale, if it wasn¡¯t already. Maybe that would be connected to other things, like when I attacked that whisper woman I shouldn¡¯t have or the corpse gorger dying after we went on the statue or even my most recent stunt with the storm. That¡¯d all likely lead to the knowledge of my blessing being spread even further, perhaps with the accusations of being life ridden to go with it.

    I didn¡¯t need a drinking game about my exploits.

    But it also wasn¡¯t something I could stop, especially if it was as common as Esie made it sound, going strong years after my time on the shore. Trying to stomp it out would only draw more attention to me.

    I lifted my chin and met her gaze. ¡°Do you think it¡¯ll go away?¡±

    She shook her head regretfully. ¡°No¡­it¡¯s one of my favorites.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take on another favor.¡±

    Esie raised her eyebrows. ¡°A personal one? I couldn¡¯t speak for the Lady of Calm Waters in this.¡±

    I glared at her. We both knew the Lady of Calm Waters likely had little to do with any drinking games. ¡°If I need to.¡±

    She tapped her chin and smiled. ¡°Well, I¡¯ll see what I can do. Perhaps everyone will be interested in a bit of shadow hop now that it¡¯s not being done to death.¡±

    We focused back on our work with the roots. No doubt Esie was figuring out all the angles she could use what I had told her while I had my own new bits of information to sort through. It hadn¡¯t escaped my notice that Esie had turned the conversation before I could question her too much about the differences in our experiences with the storm of storms or her reaction to what I told her. It¡¯d be interesting to see what moves Esie and the Lady of Calm Waters made next.

    Overall, though, most things with them were outside my sphere of influence. I¡¯d learn what I could, but it¡¯d be better for now to focus on the things I could control. The goddess¡¯s actions in the inner valleys would mitigate people believing Deamar¡¯s complaints that his life being ruined was all my fault, if anyone was even listening to him, but that didn¡¯t mean that the people who didn¡¯t like me wouldn¡¯t find out about the Dawn Crawler¡¯s decree and still try to tie us together to hinder me. I¡¯d either need to accept my own firestarter before that happened or somehow get him attached to someone else.

    Other than that there was still the matter of settling on the sect I wanted to join, and gaining all my boons had helped push me towards some over others. I could see myself having some affinity with all of them except for the Caretakers sect. I had no desire to be tied down to one place and the whisper women at Flickermark¡¯s Grove hadn¡¯t exactly been welcoming.

    But I knew my interest was weighted towards three of the others: the Scales, Peacekeepers, and Hundred Eyes. They all felt like a way to make a new start, though some obviously came with extra difficulty. My time on the shore could help me with the Peacekeepers, though Jin would likely take the opportunity to ruin me whenever she could. Her supporter, Yule, in Hundred Eyes would likely do the same along with the second-in-command. But both of those options seemed like they¡¯d make good use of the skills I¡¯d gained while not rendering my blessing useless. Joining the Scales sect seemed like it could be a better use of my more mental talents while not having the same baggage as the other two. Still, I was somewhat drawn to the challenge the others presented.

    I could always be an unusual member of a Sect as well, like Esie and Mishtaw and Nine Claws. Make my own place in it. I just wasn¡¯t certain what that place would be yet. Others might have plenty of stories to tell about me, but I wasn¡¯t sure what I wanted my truth to be. Maybe I could be the hero girl killing water snakes or the life ridden danger Jin wanted to purge from the Seedling Palace, but accepting those titles didn¡¯t sit right.

    Maybe I could just keeping doing what needs to be done and go from there. Then what picking a sect just became a matter of deciding which one I could do the most in rather than who might like me the most or which one would be the most interesting.

    I inspected and chopped roots as I thought about my options until we ran out, which didn¡¯t take long once we were more focused on the task than talking. Esie let me go with another smile and told me to tell Mishtaw she could come chat whenever she wanted. I told her, but I wasn¡¯t sure she ever took Esie up on the offer. Otherwise, I¡¯d have listened in if I could.

 Book 5 - Ch. 11: Information Gathering

    I spent time trying to gather information on the different sects, the Lady of Calm Waters, the factions and groups that sprawled beyond a single sect¡­really anything I thought might be interesting or helpful to know. The trouble was that my infamy had spread to unfortunate extent. Despite my scowl, others would come up to me when I settled in an eating area or at the arena, trying to find out their own tidbits of information. Most often they wanted about what had happened when I was earning my final boon, if I knew what had caused the spirits to kick everyone out of their home, but sometimes they also wanted to know which wellspring I had found or even if it was true that I had been in the inner valleys when the goddess made Her presence felt.

    More often than not, they left me again after a minute: defeated, frustrated, annoyed. I had no obligation to give them what they wanted and each time they bothered me it reminded everyone else that I wasn¡¯t just another person in the background. So much so that I lost my ability to eavesdrop on those nearby as everyone started to give me a wide berth or would fall silent when I approached. The most I got was half finished rumors about me as I walked away: speculation on which sect I¡¯d end up with, whether the dots on my chin were my bless mark or not, what trouble I might cause.

    I got my best information when I was out of sight or when I managed to overhear someone talking on the wind. But those bits of information were disparate and not typically helpful in determining which sect I should choose. I did learn that some of the others in the cohort had been solicited by some of the sects. To no one¡¯s surprise, Breck, Nii, Ento and Idra all had been formally invited to join the Peacekeepers. Breck had also been scouted by the Beastwatchers. Loclen had been approached by Hundred Eyes and the Caretakers wanted Andhi. I hadn¡¯t heard about the others but I was sure most, if not all, of them had been approached by at least one of the sects.

    It was the way things were done. Then the seedlings were supposed to pick from those invitations at the declaration ceremony¡ªthough they could technically pick from any of the sects.

    No one had approached me yet. Mishtaw had warned me that the Seekers didn¡¯t invite candidates to join the sect, even if they thought the seedling would be a good fit. Their stance was that if you wanted to be a Seeker you better care enough to seek them out first. Even so, that meant there were five other invitations I hadn¡¯t received despite how close it was to the ceremony. Not that I¡¯d been expecting them. Like Esie had warned, no one wanted to get on someone else¡¯s bad side by declaring they wanted me to join them. I was too controversial.

    So I had to bide my time, learn what I could, and show everyone that they were fools not to pick me when they had the chance. If I had to prove myself upon joining a sect that I deserved to be there, that I deserved to learn what they knew, well, so be it. I had done that ever since I was young.

    The wellspring I had found wasn¡¯t one of the well known ones, so that meant while I might not have gotten the respect I wanted from it I did have a secret ability no one else knew about. Not even Prevna. I only ever said the first half of what I earned so people wouldn¡¯t suspicious. A large part of me wanted to tell her the rest of it, but I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to give up that bit of information when I knew she had gotten exactly what she wanted: the Wellspring of Devotion.

    Like my thoughts had summoned her, Prevna¡¯s voice whispered in my ear as wind brushed by.

    ¡°Join me at the wall. Lakeside.¡±

    Her messages weren¡¯t ever longer than that for the most part, not yet while she was still learning, but they always reached where she sent them. My messages were even shorter and less reliable, but I could already speak silently into the wind so no one else could hear me. Having the small boon to listen in on others had made it easy to learn how to do the opposite, but I didn¡¯t bother having the wind swallow my answer. Not when that could clue others in that there might be more to what I earned at my wellspring than I let on.

    ¡°On my way.¡±

    Wind whispering felt somewhat similar to shadow walking, but rather than building a path between two points that didn¡¯t exist before, I was sensing the winds and casting my voice out and hoping my message didn¡¯t get blown off course before reaching its destination. Mishtaw said it was about conviction. The more certain you were that your message would reach its target, the more likely it was that it would actually get there, though stable winds and the size of the message played their own parts as well. Like with shadow walking it was easier to speak to someone nearby at first and the winds around the Seedling Palace never weakened to the point that they failed to carry a message.

    I had the most success when trying to speak to Prevna and Mishtaw on the winds, but my messages didn¡¯t always reach their destination and there was no signal to know when they failed. So I didn¡¯t waste time stepping back into a shadow to travel to where Prevna wanted to meet in case she thought I had ignored her.

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    When I emerged from the shadow paths, I was ankle deep in water. Which was disconcerting for a moment, because I had used the image of rising out of the depths to exit the shadows. I¡¯d meant to come out on the red shore a few steps away, but my accuracy still wasn¡¯t perfect when I was traveling to unfamiliar places. And perhaps I could count myself as lucky since the Seedling Palace¡¯s shadows stretched way out into the lake. In this spot only my water resistant shoes were wet.

    I trudged to the sand shore and looked around for Prevna. This was close to where I had seen whisper women fight off a monster years ago. Given that it was dangerous, we weren¡¯t really supposed to come here and I¡¯d never had a reason to until now. However, despite the sun disappearing behind the horizon and the warnings against it, I wasn¡¯t alone. A handful of others had gathered near the wall where a couple of ladders had been tied up and an eye had been carved into it. Unlike the goddess¡¯s root walls, this one was made of dark stone that shifted between a dark burgundy, gray, and black. I hadn¡¯t been able to discover its source though most people agreed that it must have been from a whisper woman¡¯s blessing in the past.

    I kept my distance from the others at the unofficial meeting spot by the wall. Prevna arrived a few minutes later, feet dry, but further down the shore than I¡¯d been. She had a large pack weighing her down, so she caught my eye and gestured for me to follow her. The group still at the meeting spot buzzed as I passed them by but I ignored them.

    Couples might come here, but so did friend groups and others who wanted a break from the Seedling Palace. This place was too public to truly be a place for secret meetings or complete privacy. And Prevna and I had no need for those things, though I did wonder why she chose to meet here when we typically would have met on Mishtaw¡¯s balcony.

    Prevna brought me to a spot far away from the others and around the curve of the shore so that they were out of sight. Then she dropped her pack on the ground, pulled out a blanket and spread it out next to her. After that came small dishes of berries and cut vegetables, wraps stuffed with meat and herbs, and a drinking pouch that could only contain Mil¡¯s nectar once I caught the sweet smell as she poured it into two cups.

    My eyes went wide at the feast. ¡°What is this?¡±

    Prevna settled on the blanket. ¡°Join me?¡±

    Her hair was drifting slightly in the breeze and it looked shinier than normal, like she had taken more time to brush it. More than that though, she wasn¡¯t smiling knowingly and there wasn¡¯t a teasing glint in her eye. That set me more on edge than I liked, since this was Prevna and there wasn¡¯t anything to be nervous about.

    I made myself walk over normally and sit across from her.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been eating later, keeping yourself busy, so I thought this would be a good chance to catch up,¡± she said. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to jump out of a bush and poison you again, so I thought I¡¯d go with one of our other beginnings.¡± At that her smile finally felt a little more real, though it was still uncertain.

    Still, at her words, the time when she came to sit next me by the moonlit lake at the end of the Heartsong festival immediately came to mind. I had rebuffed her then, too caught up in everything else I had going on, and I didn¡¯t want to do the same thing now. But that also didn¡¯t mean I was going to let her pretend everything was fine when it clearly wasn¡¯t.

    I leaned closer to her. ¡°What happened? What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    Her lips pressed together before she smiled again. ¡°Nothing¡¯s wrong. Really, it¡¯s a cause for celebration.¡±

    She reached for the nectar but I caught her hand before she could touch the cup. ¡°Prevna.¡±

    She stared at our hands for a long moment, licked her lips nervously, and seemed to come to an abrupt decision. ¡°The Beastwatchers gave me a formal invite today. I intend to join them at the declaration ceremony. But that¡¯s not where you¡¯re going, is it? Have you even gotten any invitations?¡±

    I withdrew my hand. ¡°No, but the sect I join will have to deal with my presence whether they like it or not.¡± I drew in a deep breath and smiled at her. ¡°Congratulations. I¡¯m glad you¡¯ll get to join the one you wanted.¡±

    This time I picked up the small cups of nectar, handed her one, and then took a sip of my own. A burst of tangy sweetness slid down my throat and I felt slightly more alert. I¡¯d have to down the whole cup and go for a second I wanted the comfort the drink provided.

    Prevna didn¡¯t drink hers. ¡°I know you haven¡¯t told me the full truth of what happened when you earned your boons, but no one else had to be carried out or got the whole trial shut down early. That¡¯s fine if you don¡¯t tell me, but you collapsed twice.¡±

    I probably could have made my own way out too if I hadn¡¯t pushed things for Esie¡¯s favor. And it was a bit of a stretch to say I collapsed twice. I might have been exhausted but I had made it to my bedroll under my power after I had pushed my practice in the wind spirits¡¯ home longer than I should have.

    Still, I kept silent and watched her. She had more to say and I wouldn¡¯t hear it if I interrupted her.

    She pressed on, ¡°It just feels like you keep getting hit with storm after storm and no one else bothers to help, so you push too hard and hurt yourself. And now I won¡¯t even be there even if I¡­¡± Prevna ran a hand through her hair and I had to banish a image of my hand trailing after hers between one blink and the next. She shook her head. ¡°I know you probably don¡¯t mean to, but it feels like your distancing yourself before we have to separate. I don¡¯t want that.¡±

    I blinked again and realized she was right. I knew that she wasn¡¯t going to be around nearly as much once we joined our sects, so I had started to fall back on old habits. It made more sense to keep my own counsel and figure things out on my own when that was what I had always done, especially when there didn¡¯t seem to be a point to burdening her with my worries when she¡¯d have her own place soon that didn¡¯t include me.

    But I hadn¡¯t made much progress on my own and this was Prevna.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want that either.¡±

    She gave me a real smile this time, full of relief. ¡°So let¡¯s talk?¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Let¡¯s talk.¡±

 Book 5 - Ch. 12: On the Beach

    I laid out everything I could think of that I had been keeping to myself for Prevna to hear. From Esie¡¯s request and my resulting actions to the sects I was considering. The only things I kept back were my removal of the healing plants in my memory tent, my visions from the Dark Sight boon, and any outright concerns about my patron. Criticizing or questioning the Lady of Calm Waters wouldn¡¯t do me any good at the moment, especially not where others could hear,  my visions just presented questions I couldn¡¯t answer, and my memory tent had never been something I shared with others. It was wholly mine¡ªand even if I could describe it to Prevna so that she would understand, that devastated field was too fresh a wound for me to prod deeply.

    Besides Prevna already knew my past as a healer¡¯s daughter. That was enough.

    We ate while I talked, though more than once I saw Prevna forget about the food in her hand so she could stare at me instead. I tended to eat when I needed a break to think through what I wanted to say next. It was¡­difficult to share my thoughts, hint at my worries, instead of keeping them behind closed lips.

    I wasn¡¯t even angry and I still said everything I wanted to her.

    Prevna lowered the berry she had been about to eat. ¡°That¡¯s all?¡±

    I nodded.

    She searched my gaze for a moment before nodding back. ¡°Okay.¡± Prevna squared her shoulders. ¡°I guess I need to beat Esie in a drinking game. The Lady of Calm Waters too, if I ever meet her.¡±

    I glared at her. After my long winded speech, I wasn¡¯t keen on dredging up more than I had to.

    She grinned back before waving a dismissive hand. ¡°Well, perhaps not a drinking game. But they both should know better than to push you like that.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m the best person to push.¡±

    Prevna shoved her berry in my face. ¡°No, you¡¯re not. You can still be hurt and sometimes I swear you lack common sense even though you¡¯re smart. They should get the information themselves if they want it so badly.¡±

    ¡°They are. Through me.¡±

    We held each other¡¯s stare, neither wanting to be the first to break. As the new round in an old argument neither of us wanted to lose. Prevna was insistent that I coddle myself and do anything I could to prevent injuries. Lately, it had even come to the odd comment about personal care, like she was concerned I¡¯d forget to eat or sleep. Meanwhile, I knew that I sometimes pushed myself to extremes, but it was always for a purpose. I pushed harder because that¡¯s what I had to do to get on even or better ground with everyone else. Holding myself back because I might get hurt didn¡¯t seem like much of an option when the alternative was to constantly lose.

    Since we said we would talk, I pushed again instead of leaving it at that. ¡°They¡¯ll use what they can. I will too.¡± I gestured to the Seedling Palace. ¡°That¡¯s how this works.¡±

    Prevna turned her head away.

    I waited for her to put together what she wanted to say as I watched her discard various choices. Finally, she looked back at me.

    ¡°You¡¯re not disposable or some rat they can run tests on.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡± My answer didn¡¯t fully convince her, so I gave her the answer she had given me when I tried to argue that she shouldn¡¯t put herself in harm¡¯s way in the past. ¡°I¡¯m capable. I can take care of myself. Let me.¡±

    She recognized the answer immediately as she sat back and sighed. Prevna ate her berry, took a long sip of Mil¡¯s nectar, before abruptly changing the conversation¡¯s direction. ¡°So, Hundred Eyes, Peacekeepers, or Scales?¡±

    I nodded.

    ¡°Roving around together with Beastwatchers would¡¯ve been fun, but their structure doesn¡¯t really suit you.¡± She smiled. ¡°I¡¯d say Hundred Eyes or Scales.¡±

    ¡°Not Peacekeepers?¡±

    ¡°Too rigid, though the others might be too. Besides, you can fight, but I don¡¯t think that¡¯s all you want to do.¡±

    I pictured being on the shore, day after day after day. Always fighting the fish and other sea monsters, always a defensive battle since we couldn¡¯t take the fight to their homes in the sea. She was right. The thought had little appeal.

    ¡°And why the other two?¡± I asked.

    She shrugged. ¡°Much as I don¡¯t like it, Hundred Eyes would likely give you the best opportunity to go on solo missions or with smaller groups. You might have to deal with Yule, but we¡¯re not fresh Seedlings any more. You have enough restraint not to attack her on sight. I think.¡± She ate another berry. ¡°You always remember everything, so Scales could be a good fit that way. Do you think you could be an unbiased judge though?¡±

    That I wasn¡¯t sure about. Picturing myself as Yolanda, the Scales sect head, as she judged whether I deserved punishment or not, left a sour taste in my mouth. I wasn¡¯t sure I was willing to be the instrument of the goddess¡¯s judgment, either by spear or word. Though, perhaps, being one of her spies wasn¡¯t much better.

    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    I would work with the choices I had.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    I focused back on Prevna and she continued, ¡°Can I do your hair?¡±

    My mind suddenly felt torn between going a mile a minute and blanking out utterly. The last time she did my hair she had turned it into a knobby mess for a prank, but this time there weren¡¯t any weird leaves around and the way she was looking at me didn¡¯t seem like she was intending to prank me again.

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°To relax. It might help you decide what you want to do. You always do my hair so¡­¡±

    I narrowed my eyes at her. Despite the fact that she was pretending that this a spur of the moment offer, Prevna had pulled a comb from her pack and a little jar of oil that I knew she didn¡¯t typically carry with her unless we were on a trip.

    Then I shifted some of the food dishes so I could turn and moved closer to her. ¡°Do you need me to get the braid?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Her voice was softer than normal as she answered.

    I felt her pick the knot holding my hair tie in place before she carefully ran her fingers through my braid and shook it apart. I expected her to use the comb next but then her fingers were running over my scalp¡ªand I jolted from the unexpected contact.

    Prevna froze. ¡°Are you alright?¡±

    More than anything, in that moment, I was glad she couldn¡¯t see my face. ¡°Perfect. You can keep going.¡±

    She hesitated for another long moment before she returned to massaging my head.

    Relax. Right. As if I could do that when I was trying to shove another memory into an already bursting sack in my memory tent but the memory wasn¡¯t ending. What focus wasn¡¯t put to that, or the feeling of her hands running through my hair, went entirely to trying to keep my shoulders relaxed so she wouldn¡¯t realize I was being incredibly stupid.

    This was Prevna.

    Prevna.

    I couldn¡¯t risk destroying another relationship right before a long separation.

    Still, somewhere along the way I got more lost than I meant to in the feeling of her massaging my head and then gently combing and oiling my hair. The sun was nearly gone by the time she declared she was finished.

    ¡°Wait a handful of minutes and then you should wash out the oil. Unless you like being greasy,¡± she teased.

    ¡°Is that why we¡¯re at the lake?¡±

    ¡°It could have been a factor.¡±

    I turned around¡ªand it was a mistake. Prevna was right there and I hadn¡¯t finished shoving the memory into its sack yet. My mind stuttered and memories of Prevna scattered across the floor of my memory tent. Desperate, I shoved them back into the sack but each one I touched flashed through my mind even as I was trying not to remember them.

    Prevna, the first time she changed her hair and it brushed against my arm. Dozens of times when she was grinning and particularly pleased with herself. Prevna leaning in close. Prevna telling me about her childhood in the Picker band. Prevna practicing with me in hand to hand combat.

    I shoved them all into the sack and tied it closed like my life depended on it. But still I wasn¡¯t quick enough since she noticed my demeanor change.

    ¡°Gimley? Did you remember something?¡±

    I swallowed and pulled my gaze from her lips¡ªeyes¡ªto the wall behind her head. ¡°No, I¡¯m fine. I¡¯ll go wash off the oil now.¡±

    I moved to undress so I wouldn¡¯t soak my clothes, but Prevna made an odd noise and caught my hands. ¡°Just¡ªjust dip your hair in water. Safer that way.¡±

    I let my tunic go and she released my hands. We had bathed together numerous times, there was no reason to look too closely why she was suddenly reluctant this time. The lake could be dangerous.

    I knelt on the sand and dipped my hair into the cool water. Kept it up until I was collected and could think without the storming sack threatening to burst open with all sorts of things I didn¡¯t need.

    When I returned to where we had been sitting Prevna was packing up the dishes she had brought. Frustration made her movements less smooth than normal, pinched her eyebrows together.

    I crouched down in front of her as she moved to pack up the blanket next. It was my turn to check in with her. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    ¡°Nothing.¡±

    ¡°Prevna.¡±

    She shoved the pack down onto the ground and surged up to her feet. ¡°Nothing¡¯s wrong because nothing¡¯s changed! You say we¡¯ll talk but then you still hide it when something is clearly bothering you and I put together this stupid meal thinking I¡¯d¡ªthinking something would change, but it didn¡¯t and that¡¯s fine. It¡¯s fine. Let¡¯s just go back to the Palace.¡±

    My eyes went wide with shock. Prevna hadn¡¯t been her normal teasing self, and that had been worrying enough, but it was even more unlike her to have an outburst like that.

    This couldn¡¯t stand. If we went back to the Seedling Palace now she¡¯d still be mad and I¡¯d have no idea why. No way to fix it and a high chance of making it worse.

    ¡°What did you want to change?¡±

    She tensed up further, started to say something but then some flicker emotion passed over her face, and she snapped instead, ¡°If you can have your secrets I can have mine.¡±

    I flinched.

    She paled. ¡°I¡­that came out wrong.¡±

    She was going to bolt or smile and pretend everything was fine. I wasn¡¯t sure which was worse, but I did know I didn¡¯t want either option. Would telling her the truth make things better or worse?

    I hated the uncertainty, but if I didn¡¯t do anything¡­well, perhaps that would be just as bad as when I had taken matters into my own hands with Fellen. Better to do something, say something, than keeping silent. That had always been the way of things.

    So I swallowed down the fear bubbling up in my chest and said, ¡°I wasn¡¯t stuck in a memory. Not a bad one.¡±

    Prevna waited, still on the verge of leaving.

    I continued, ¡°I was remembering you.¡±

    Since I was holding her gaze I didn¡¯t miss the moment she registered what I said. Her eyes went wide, her lips parted, and all I could think was that I had another memory I should shove into that sack if I dared to open it.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± she asked.

    Storms, but I wished I didn¡¯t have to answer that. If I said too much we¡¯d pass a point of no return and the looming deadline of the dedication ceremony meant that if things went poorly I might not get another chance. Prevna could easily keep away from the Seedling Palace with the Beastwatcher sect.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad to have you as a friend. Sometimes you catch me off guard and I can¡¯t help but remember all the times you¡¯ve¡­treated me well.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± Prevna nodded like I had just confirmed something for her. She gave me a small smile. ¡°That¡¯s good. You should have good memories.¡±

    I nodded awkwardly back. ¡°You too.¡±

    She finished folding up the blanket and putting it in her pack. ¡°Let¡¯s get back.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    Something still wasn¡¯t right, but if I pressed then she would too. And I couldn¡¯t risk that. So we walked back to a shadow cast by the Seedling Palace in silence.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 13

    Hi everyone! This going to be another delayed chapter unfortunately as a lot of responsibilities piled up onto today and I wasn''t able to keep them from cutting into my writing time. My plan is to have the chapter out on Saturday at the very latest but hopefully it will be sooner than that. Thank you all for your continued patience with me as I''ve been trying to figure out the best way to balance my writing with some changes that have happened since the beginning of the year. I do want you all to know that I can''t imagine dropping this story before it is finished, so even with these unfortunate delays the story should all be out for your enjoyment eventually and I will hopefully find a routine that balances everything better soon.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    Thanks for reading!

 Book 5 - Ch. 13: Wrens Gathering

    I received no invites, no meetings, from the sects before the declaration ceremony. It made more sense once I learned that recruitment was typically approved by the sect¡¯s second in command and, of the six sects, two actively disliked me and one sect never recruited which halved my chances from the start. Of the rest, I doubted they knew much more about me than my infamy which brought my chance of an invite even lower.

    However, their inaction allowed me to make my choice without any further complications. I laid out all the advice I had been given in my mind along with what I wanted and the complications that could arise from my various options. It didn¡¯t take me long to realize I had already made my choice. All the sects might have some appeal but there was only one that kept holding my attention.

    Prevna wasn¡¯t surprised when I told her what I was going to do. There was still some small tension between us that we both ignored, I think because we both knew that if either one of us pried into it we wouldn¡¯t be able to keep what we were holding back to ourselves. But she had returned to teasing and smiling that knowing smile, and I made sure I wasn¡¯t accidentally shutting her out due to the looming deadline.

    Wren got a handful of us together a few days before the ceremony was expected to happen. She might not have the sway over me she used to, but she was still convincing enough that I found myself joining a party I would have otherwise avoided. We ended up at a wide outlook point overlooking the lake and distant mountains with food, drink, and some games.

    Prevna was there too along with Dera, Juniper, Loclen, Breck, and Nii. I wasn¡¯t surprised that Andhi and Ulo weren¡¯t there, but I was a little surprised about Ento and Idra. Wren likely could have gotten them at least to the outlook point if she had tried. Either they were even more standoffish now than I last heard or Wren hadn¡¯t extended an invitation to them for some reason. A minor mystery I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d ever bother finding the answer to.

    Chirp fluttered over to my shoulder to beg for treats. Rather than suffer his relentless nagging for no reason, I quickly gave into his demands and he fluttered off again to bob on Dera¡¯s shoulder. It wasn¡¯t long before he got a treat from her too.

    For the most part everyone else chatted while I listened in, though Juniper was fidgety and not as talkative as she¡¯d been in the past. Breck was also comfortable with silence but when she had a story to tell she told it well.

    That was how I learned Loclen had also been scouted by the Scales sect and Wren had been approached by Hundred Eyes, Beastwatchers, and the Caretakers. Dera was also in demand. She had been approached by all the sects except for the Seekers, but there were hints that they were also interested her. Apparently, she had made quite the impression these past years between her blessing to manipulate bone and her smarts.

    Prevna tried to ask Juniper if anyone had reached out to her though she didn¡¯t seem keen on answering. It came out a little bit later that she had received an invitation from the Peacekeepers but she wasn¡¯t as enthused as I would¡¯ve thought. Prevna talked to her off to the side a bit and when they rejoined the main group Juniper didn¡¯t seem quite as put out as she had been before. That piqued my curiosity, but Juniper was drawn into another conversation and Prevna murmured that they had just discussed her ¡®options¡¯.

    Part of me was still interested in what those were, but I wasn¡¯t keen on gossiping about someone when they stood only a few feet away, nor did anyone need to know I was curious about where Juniper would end up. She was both very similar and the exact opposite of me, which sometimes made her drifting itch in the back of my mind. Made me want to force her to see the potential she was wasting by spending all her time moping.

    I would never admit it aloud but it was nice to spend time among the cohort. Not relaxing or exactly comfortable, but they didn¡¯t look at me and see all the stories they heard first, they didn¡¯t try to glare me to death, and I didn¡¯t have to worry about what plots they might try to use me for. Not when it came to this party at least. And a very small part of me was¡­relieved to interact with others my age besides Prevna. Other seedlings, our cohort. The chance to do so had become scarcer since we started traveling with Mishtaw.

    Still, there was a sense of distance between Prevna and me, and the others. While we were off bouncing around the territory, they had their own experiences together. There were jokes and references we didn¡¯t know that everyone else knew to laugh at. There was also an undercurrent of unease that didn¡¯t extend to us. Watching them, I realized it was because they had gotten used to us coming and going, but they had all been together in some capacity since we were first brought to the Seedling Palace¡ªthey weren¡¯t sure if their relationships would survive joining the sects.

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    Some would, some wouldn¡¯t. I had little doubt about that. If everything was going to stay the same then there¡¯d be little point to this last get together before the ceremony.

    I looked over to where Prevna was busy competing with Loclen and Nii in a game of Recall. Our relationship would last. One way or another.

    ¡°Having fun?¡± Wren joined me at the railing.

    I nodded.

    ¡°It¡¯s nice to get everyone together. I¡¯m glad you and Prevna have been able to stick around a bit more since your last relic trip. Do you think you¡¯ll still go on those even after joining a sect?¡± she asked.

    I shrugged one shoulder. ¡°If we¡¯re needed.¡±

    Which wasn¡¯t likely. Mishtaw and her group had been doing just fine taking care of the relics before she got stuck with us. I wanted her mentorship to continue, but I wasn¡¯t sure there¡¯d actually be time for it between her responsibilities and my new training as a Sapling.

    She leaned back against the railing. ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to getting out of the Palace more. Beastwatchers will be good for that. Have you decided which one you¡¯re joining?¡±

    I nodded again.

    Wren winked. ¡°Keeping it a secret? Most are. Dera won¡¯t even tell me what she decided¡ªsaid she wanted it to be a surprise. But with Chirp and growing up moving around, it just makes sense to join Beastwatchers. Seems like Prevna felt the same.¡±

    I kept silent because I wasn¡¯t sure what to say. She was either just making small talk or trying to get me to divulge information. Prevna¡¯s choice was her own to share, which it seemed like she had, but I also wasn¡¯t sure what else Wren wanted me to say.

    She continued when it became clear that I wasn¡¯t going to interrupt her monologue. ¡°I¡¯m hoping we¡¯ll all still stay in touch even after splitting between sects. Our new boon should be helpful for that. So¡­¡± For the first time she hesistated before she rushed on, ¡°If Dera joins the same sect as you will you look out for her? Even if she doesn¡¯t, I¡¯ll make sure to help Prevna if she needs it.¡±

    If Dera joined the same sect I was planning on, I¡¯d be more than a little surprised since it didn¡¯t seem to fit her inclinations at all, but if she did¡­

    ¡°I¡¯ll do what I can,¡± I said.

    Wren grinned. ¡°That¡¯s perfect! We should all do that. Keep enjoying the party!¡±

    She left as quickly as she came and I was glad for it. Better that than forcing her to carry the conversation all by herself. I knew I could be a better participant but it was also interesting to see her spin a conversation out of practically nothing. Nor was I inclined to help her out when her words seemed to have less substance than they used to.

    Wren speaking to me punctured the bubble of solitude I had wrapped myself in and, the next thing I knew, Prevna was helping Loclen pull me into a game of Circles and Stones. Apparently, Loclen still hadn¡¯t forgiven me for not paying attention during the game we had years ago.

    I won this time around.

    It didn¡¯t seem to make her any happier.

    She demanded another game, but Breck started to tell a story of one of her hunts in Haggler¡¯s Cliffs and distractions didn¡¯t last long in the face of her storytelling. She had gotten better since the last one I heard.

    After that everyone started swapping stories and the conversation turned to our recent trials in the wind spirits¡¯ home. Breck and everyone else wanted the details of what had happened when I earned my last boon but I maintained the story that I had completed my tempering before the wind spirits suddenly seemed to decide the trial was over. There wasn¡¯t any reason why I should know their motives better than anyone else. Just bad timing, what else could it be?

    No one really bought the excuse, but they did get the message that I wasn¡¯t going to divulge all the secrets of my trial. It helped too that the others who had earned both boons weren¡¯t keen to go into detail about what happened during their tempering either. It wasn¡¯t exactly easy to describe all those sensations and different kinds of pain happening at once.

    Only Breck, Ulo, and me had completed all of our boons. Everyone else would have to finish their tempering with the season changing storms. The cold season was expected to begin only a day or two. Then we¡¯d have the declaration ceremony the first night after the storm passed¡ªjust enough time for everyone to recover from tempering or the First Flurry Festival.

    I wasn¡¯t looking forward to being stuck in the middle of Palace wide celebrations while Prevna was out in a storm trying not to freeze to death. Really, I had half a mind to join her despite already having the boon.

    The conversation turned to speculating what the tempering would be like since they couldn¡¯t earn the final boon all at once. Would they gain resistance to cold and cutting winds or would they not gain any real benefits until they braved the Warming Winds at the end of the cold season? None of us knew and the whisper women said they¡¯d have to find out for themselves.

    The party continued past the point where I was ready to leave but I stayed until everyone else decided to call it a night. Prevna was happier than I¡¯d seen her in a long time after all the socializing and Juniper seemed to have been sneaking glances at me but she never actually asked whatever had been on the tip of her tongue. Loclen had gotten her game in, Breck her stories, and Chirp all of his treats. Nii and I were still on awkward terms from when she had fallen in with Andhi and Ulo, but everything stayed civil and Wren seemed pleased to have been the host.

    It made me wonder when, other than the declaration ceremony, we would all be gathered together again. The cohort were the people I¡¯ve known the longest since coming to the Seedling Palace and soon we¡¯d be split apart. In some small way, it felt like leaving the tribe and it made me dread that soon I¡¯d have to learn to navigate a much larger, new group.

 Book 5 - Ch. 14: Snowflakes and Preparations

    Snowflakes drifted through the Seedling Palace. Beyond the tips of the gigantic trees the snow poured down in heavy drifts and howling winds snatched it sideways. Prevna was out in that. Freezing, wind lashed, and I couldn¡¯t do a thing about it.

    I punched the stuffed practice dummy in front of me.

    Here, in the Seedling Palace, the snow was more spectacle than anything else. A pretty contrast against the purple and blue black needles until they melted in the Palace¡¯s constant even temperature. The winds also didn¡¯t howl here unless the goddess willed it. The rest of the seedlings and whisper women, along with most of the firestarters, were wrapped up in celebrating the First Flurry. There was food and drink, stories being swapped, weather watching, symbolic starts to cold season work. It was a lucky time for new beginnings, so likely there were new relationships being forged and projects being started.

    I wanted no part of it.

    Not the crowds nor the merriment. Prevna needed to earn her boon and she could take care of herself. I knew that. But I also knew the agony I had gone through in the storm of storms, so I took out my frustrations on the practice dummy.

    Everything would be changing soon. I needed it to in order to become a whisper woman, but change didn¡¯t typically bode well for me. I made my choice and I¡¯d stick with it. That was fine, but it was finally starting to feel more real. That I¡¯d be joining a sect and likely separated from the cohort unless some of the others decided to join the same one. Even then the dynamic would likely change.

    I¡¯d be fine on my own. I had my knowledge, my skills and boons, and I was doing what I could to sharpen them. I¡¯d make myself so competent that no one would dare look down on me.

    There was only one problem.

    Nights like this reminded me that I¡¯d gotten used to not being on my own. Not completely. I wanted Prevna near or, if I couldn¡¯t have her, maybe someone from Wren¡¯s gathering. Someone I knew to some extent.

    The thought of letting even more people in, getting to know them, was daunting. Nauseating. Even if it would be the smart move to make more connections among my new sect, it still felt like I¡¯d be giving the other person a knife and asking them what they¡¯d like to carve out of my chest. Prevna I could trust, but anyone new? And with the sect politics that were likely to come into play?

    I kneed the practice dummy.

    No. Not unless I wanted to be naive and idiotic.

    I didn¡¯t.

    I beat on the practice dummy until I was out of breath and everything felt slightly numb. Just to the point where I could interact with others without feeling like I¡¯d snap at every little thing. Then I left the small, forgotten practice area and made my way back to Mishtaw¡¯s home.

    Her group was inside: Eliss, who¡¯d think I ruined the celebration no matter what I did, and Creed and Petra and their son. I considered going in. Even just sitting in the alcove set aside for us while they continued to celebrate.

    Laughter wafted out of the home and I decided to sit on the bench on the balcony instead. I could always go back to the practice grounds if I needed to if I stayed out here, while trying the same inside would just draw questions.

    I watched the storm and tried to be glad that Prevna wasn¡¯t being assaulted by a dozen different kinds of weather at once. Really, though, all I could draw up was frustration and worry. Frustration that she was in a position that I had to worry about her and worry that, despite all assurances, something could still go wrong while she was earning her boon.

    And this was just a taste of what it would be like when we were in separate sects. Though perhaps the benefit then would be not knowing what dangerous things she get involved in so I couldn¡¯t worry about them.

    She could handle herself. I had to trust that¡ªnor would she be alone. Wren would be joining the Beastwatchers too and there¡¯d be the other people in the sect. She was better at getting people¡¯s good side than I was.

    I heard the door flap get pushed aside and I watched Mishtaw step out, glance around, and focus on me. She strode over to the railing next to the bench and gripped it.

    ¡°I thought you might be out here,¡± she said. My mentor kept her gaze out on the storm swirling all around the Palace. ¡°Difficult to relax?¡±

    I nodded.

    ¡°Control is a wonderful illusion, but the world has a way of reminding us that¡¯s all it is.¡±

    My jaw clenched. I¡¯d still control what I could. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you been celebrating with the others?¡±

    This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Mishtaw ignored my jab. ¡°Do what you can and others will too.¡± She caught my gaze. ¡°Whatever sect you pick remember that it doesn¡¯t define you. Not its goals or ideals or whatever else the whisper women you¡¯ll meet will say. Don¡¯t let it swallow you. If you need a reminder come to me and I¡¯ll set you straight as your mentor.¡±

    Part of me was surprised she¡¯d still be willing to associate with me. There were times when my stubbornness exasperated her to no end. ¡°Even if I don¡¯t join the Seekers?¡±

    Her expression turned resolute. ¡°I was your mentor before your choice and I¡¯ll still be after. I¡¯ll do what I can for you.¡±

    Her show of support wasn¡¯t Rawley¡¯s personalized pouch or comforting patience, but I still appreciated that she had given me what she could.

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    She smiled at the rare display of gratitude and nodded before gesturing back to her home. ¡°Join us?¡±

    ¡°Not yet.¡±

    Mishtaw went back inside without pressuring me to change my mind. I was grateful for it. No matter how lonely it might be, this was better than forcing a smile or ruining the mood inside the dome. They could have their celebration and I could watch the snow in peace and quiet. A bit of solitude to center myself before the cermony.

    I only went inside when the others left and Mishtaw and I settled down to sleep.

    - -

    The declaration ceremony was going to be held in the Gathering Spot, the same place where I had been judged and lost healing for a second time even as Mishtaw was assigned as my mentor. I had no desire to enter the tunnel full of luminescent symbols again, but if we had a choice about what order we entered in then I was determined to be the first.

    We were given special robes. The whole robe was the color of fresh pine needles. A sprout with a single branch had been stitched onto the back of Prevna¡¯s robe. My own was blank, though I did have what looked like a storm circling my sleeves.

    Mishtaw explained that the leaves represented the number of invitations to the sects a seedling had earned. Dera would have a full sapling with six branches and I had none, which were both rare in their own way. The storm around my sleeves meant that I had earned all my boons which meant everyone would know I had braved the storm of storms and won. Apparently, it was even more rare to have a blank back and storm sleeves. I was glad that they didn¡¯t insist on listing out our blessings and what wellspring we earned. Mishtaw said that any competent person at the ceremony would like know those any way¡ªthis was more of a symbolic power play, so everyone would know at a glance how badly a seedling was wanted when they first entered the Gathering Spot.

    There were also bets on which sects might have invited which seedling and if the seedling would join this or that sect and how many of us might join a particular sect and so on. The symbols helped inform the odds. I didn¡¯t like wearing anything that helped others decide my worth, but I couldn¡¯t get out of wearing the robe.

    Prevna helped me get my hair put up into a braided bun before she set to work on her own hair. I wasn¡¯t allowed to help since she said I was good at two hairstyles¡ªmy normal braid and her ponytail¡ªand neither was fancy enough for the ceremony. Which was true, but I didn¡¯t like that I couldn¡¯t return the favor. Instead, I got us some food so we wouldn¡¯t get hungry. She did appreciate that. She also appreciated my concern about how her tempering went, but she never offered up more information than that it had been cold and she was looking forward to braving the Warming Winds.

    We packed up our things so they¡¯d be ready to be delivered to the sect of our choice by firestarters after the ceremony. I wanted to keep my pouch with me or even my eating knife, but the rule was special robes only. No weapons, no accessories. So I put the pouch at the bottom of my pack and hoped no one would be stupid enough to mess with it.

    After that it was time to gather with the rest of the cohort and their mentors and friends  on Departure Branch. It was a large branch in the Peacekeepers¡¯ tree that was perpetually covered in deep shadow, so that if the goddess¡¯s army need to move en masse they¡¯d always have a place to do so from the Seedling Palace. It wasn¡¯t a place I had ever had reason to visit before since any other shadow in the Palace had worked just as well for my needs, so I wasn¡¯t expecting the sheer number of people packed onto the sides and surrounding branches.

    We had walked through the Seedling Palace, which had seemed suspiciously empty, rather than take the shadow paths at Mishtaw¡¯s instruction. Likely so we wouldn¡¯t end up randomly showing up in the crowd. Now it seemed like all of the Seedling Palace from the black handed healers to the whisper women and firestarters were watching us. Murmurs swelled and died as we made our way down the branch¡¯s gentle slope to where it flattened out.

    Wren was already there with Chirp fluttering over her head and Dera a few steps away. Both of them were being mobbed by well wishers. Ulo was also further down with Andhi. A smaller group was around them, though most of them seemed to be trying to speak to Andhi over Ulo.

    A loud swell of chatter came from behind us and I twisted around to see that Breck was a crowd favorite. Loclen, Nii, and Juniper seemed to be swept along in her wake though there was interest in them as well. Ento and Idra sauntered in last.

    My robes seemed to act like a warning to keep others away. Esie¡¯s sister came with Kaylan, the lazy sentry, to congratulate me on making it to the declaration ceremony, I got a nod from Malady in the crowd, but other than that only Hattie, the Peacekeeper squad leader who had given me the nickname ¡®Little Diver¡¯ came to greet me. It helped that I didn¡¯t need to be polite to hordes of people I didn¡¯t know, but I also couldn¡¯t help but notice the larger gatherings the others had.

    I suppose I could also count the reluctant nod of acknowledgment I got from Eliss after she finished speaking to Prevna as well as Creed and Petra¡¯s cheering in the crowd. That was something.

    Prevna also had a smaller crowd than the others due to her time away from the Palace, but I noticed that a handful of random people were willing to go up and congratulate her. She deserved every bit of praise she got.

    Then it was time for us to line up in the middle of the branch so that everyone could see us easily. Mishtaw announced that we were to enter the tunnel to the Gathering Spot as soon as we stepped out of the shadows. Our skill with shadow walking, our very first boon, would determine our order.

    I allowed myself to smile and imagined myself as a stone plummeting into black waves.

    Soon the ceremony would truly begin.

 Book 5 - Ch. 15: Declaration Ceremony

    I stepped out of the shadows to a quiet, still platform. In front of me, the tunnel to the Gathering Spot glowed in a dozen different designs. Esie had said they were paths of strength. From what I could see, the moss designs of eyes and spears and beasts could also be symbolic of the sects. A reminder of the different choices we had to make.

    This time I didn¡¯t let the tunnel intimidate me. I had been through it before and, this time, I would be making my own choice rather than having one made for me¡ªdespite all the bluster about invitations and branches sewn onto the backs of robes.

    Striding through the tunnel I let my fingers brush over an image of the goddess¡¯s eyes peering down on a night sky. The moss was soft and nothing like hard ridges of stone in the exit tunnel of Flickermark. The building noise of a crowd at the other end was also different than that place of failure.

    I stopped a few steps from the tunnel¡¯s exit and took a deep breath, centered myself. Lifted my chin and made my face an unreadable mask. Then I pulled out my prayer needle and pricked my wrist before swiping the drop of blood that welled over the trial mark on my chin.

    I was more than the boons and sect politics they wanted to judge me by.

    The chaotic murmur of the crowd died as I stepped into the Gathering Spot. They saw the glittering mark on my chin, the proud way I held my head and shoulders, the blank back of my robes, and I saw that I was the first.

    Whispers and exclamations built around me as I made my way to the farthest cushion from the tunnel and knelt. The sects¡¯ seconds sat along the top tier this time, directly in front of the goddess¡¯s looming nest, while other whisper women filled the two tiers around them. Of the seconds, I only recognized Jin and Rivon, the Hundred Eyes¡¯ second-in-command. Jin was less than thrilled at my appearance and Rivon seemed to deliberately dismiss me.

    Mishtaw had given me detailed descriptions of the rest of the seconds, so I was able to identify the remaining four based on those. The Beastwatchers¡¯ second was a lanky woman with red-brown hair pulled back into a tail, Morwen. She seemed bored already and even less interested in whatever Rivon was trying to tell her. The Scales¡¯ second sat on Morwen¡¯s other side and she was watching me with an intensity I didn¡¯t like. Her name was Britta. She was likely even shorter than me but with the hips and bust of a full grown woman, tan skin, dark brown curling hair, and apparently everyone said that if she wasn¡¯t so set on her code of ethics than she could have been a Seeker given the way she liked to experiment.

    The Seekers¡¯ second, Casev, had a dark, cool skin tone similar to Loclen¡¯s, and raven black hair in box braids going down to her waist. She seemed content to listen in on the conversations around her. Mishtaw said her obsession lay with the shadow paths and trying to define their limitations in exhausting detail. The last second was also sitting quietly, but she seemed to find the others¡¯ more lax attitudes reproachful. Full bodied, beige skin, blonde hair twisted up into an elegant bun with little braids and ornaments, she stood out from the rest by how she presented herself: immaculately clean with confident superiority. Fawnlily, the Caretakers¡¯ second.

    I let my gaze drift around the half of the crowd I could see without twisting around like a gaping fool. Esie smiled at me from her place below the seconds, but I didn¡¯t recognize anyone else. Either the handful of whisper women I knew weren¡¯t influential enough to snag a seat within the Gathering Spot or they hadn¡¯t cared enough about the ceremony to attend. Neither option would surprise me.

    Prevna walked into the arena and she rolled her eyes when she saw that I had arrived first. Then she smiled for the crowd before taking the cushion to my right. It seemed that all of our traveling with Mishtaw had given us an edge when it came to shadow walking.

    Wren got third with Chirp perched on her shoulder. The little bird was surprisingly demure, likely due to a stern talking to or bribe before they entered the Gathering Spot. Breck was fourth with Idra following close behind. Nii arrived in sixth place and seemed annoyed by it while Loclen came after her and then Dera. Ulo entered next, then Ento, then Andhi. Juniper came in last place to no one¡¯s surprise though it was unfortunate she was still having trouble with the boon.

    Once the entire cohort had settled on their respective cushions, Fawnlily clapped two pieces of wood together. Not quite the long rhythm sticks that Echoes used, but rather carved rectangular blocks with intricate details decorating every side. The crowd drew quiet at the sharp noise and the Caretaker¡¯s second spoke.

    ¡°Alive and unbroken, this year¡¯s cohort kneels before us. Who has chosen them? And who will they choose? Let the declaration ceremony begin, so that Sprouts may become Saplings. May we all add to the goddess¡¯s glory.¡± She pricked her wrist with her prayer needle and tossed a droplet of blood into the air. It flaked away after barely a breath.

    The crowd echoed her as they offered their own blood. ¡°To Her glory!¡±

    All of it flaked away before a single drop touched the ground and my stomach dropped. Perhaps the goddess was watching.

    But surely not. There had to be more important, urgent things that would demand the goddess¡¯s attention.

    Fawnlily spoke again, ¡°Call your favorites. Seeker, you may begin.¡±

    Stolen story; please report.

    Casev drawled, ¡°We call on no one.¡±

    Fawnlily spared her a small glare before focusing her attention on Britta. ¡°Scale, you may begin.¡±

    Britta drew herself up. ¡°We call on Dera, Andhi, and Loclen. Step forward.¡±

    They rose off their cushions and took a step forward. The ceremony continued like that as each second named the seedlings they were interested in and each time their name was called the others stepped forward until I was only one still on a cushion and Dera was out ahead of everyone else. My skin felt hot with frustration but I kept my face impassive. They didn¡¯t need to know that the display needled at me when I would still be joining one of the sects by the time the ceremony concluded.

    Fawnlily swept her gaze over us before clapping her wooden blocks again. ¡°The favorites have been called. Now we shall hear their declarations. We shall start with the least prized.¡± Her haughty gaze fixed on me and warned that there¡¯d be dire consequences if I dared to utter her sect. ¡°Begin.¡±

    I rose to my feet and savored the way everyone there had no choice but to pay attention. They might ridicule me, fear me and my blessing for being life ridden, want to use me; they might not respect me, but in this moment there wasn¡¯t a single one who could change my choice, no matter what they might wish.

    I fixed my own gaze on Rivon and kept my answer simple. ¡°Hundred Eyes.¡±

    She looked like she had choked on something sour before she caught herself and smoothed her features back into a guileless smile. Still, I was proud to have cracked her mask. Hundred Eyes would offer me difficulties and opportunities in equal measure. I was looking forward to the challenge.

    Fawnlily seemed just a bit smug that I hadn¡¯t said her sect and was instead causing trouble for Hundred Eyes. It made me want to scowl at her, but since it would be idiotic to make another enemy among the seconds I managed to keep my irritation to myself.

    She waved a hand toward Rivon. ¡°Stand before your sect.¡±

    I kept my chin high as I walked over to the wall below where they were sitting, so that I was in front of Rivon, and faced the rest of the cohort. I was awkwardly close to Dera, though we weren¡¯t nose to nose. Her placement on arriving set her at an angle to me. Nii and Loclen were directly in front of me but we had more space between us as their names hadn¡¯t been called as many times.

    Ento, Idra, and Nii had all been called by one Sect: the Peacekeepers, and they all elected to join it. There was little surprise in that, given their blessings and penchant for the fighting arts during our lessons. Likely that was why they all only had one invitation as well¡ªthe other sects didn¡¯t want to waste or resources on what was likely a done deal. The three formed a line in front of Jin.

    Juniper had only received one invitation from the Peacekeepers as well, but she took longer declaring her decision. Her focus lingered for a bit on Ento and Idra, then on me for some reason, before she glanced over at Prevna and then she finally focused on where the seconds were sitting.

    ¡°Hundred Eyes.¡±

    I blinked, not sure I heard correctly, even as I stepped forward so she could stand behind me. She really had decided to split from her guards, and from the way Ento and Idra were gaping at her they hadn¡¯t expected it either. Perhaps we should¡¯ve expected it based on how they were treating her, but between Juniper¡¯s difficulties with shadow walking, her fear of heights, and her strong desire to return home to her tribe, I couldn¡¯t wrap my mind around why she would pick Hundred Eyes. There was less of a guarantee that she¡¯d have anything to do with tribes directly in this sect than if she had joined the Scales or Beastwatchers. Still, she looked calmer than she had in a long time as she slipped past to stand behind me.

    Prevna went next due to her invitation from the Beastwatchers. She accepted it with a grin and a little bit of spring in her step until she came to stand next to me in front of Morwen. Her excitement faltered a bit until we gave each other minute, but resolute nods and she was back to being excited. I was glad that she found a sect that would likely suit her well.

    Andhi and Ulo had both been invited by two sects. Andhi by the Caretakers and Scales, and Ulo by the Peacekeepers and Caretakers. Despite not knowing what most of their options were until just a few minutes ago, my hunch about which ones they would pick turned out correct. Andhi joined the Caretakers while Ulo added to the line in front of Jin.

    Loclen had the option between Hundred Eyes and Scales. Despite her blessing to hide in shadow, she went with her more mental talents and joined the Scales sect. Breck had been scouted by the Beastwatchers and Peacekeepers, but she caused a rumble of shock when she chose the Seekers instead.

    Wren had been chosen three times between the Beastwatchers, Hundred Eyes, and the Caretakers, but she stuck with the choice she told me as she went to stand behind Prevna to join the Beastwatchers sect.

    Dera went last and she trembled under the pressure of everyone¡¯s eyes. She had all the options and each sect wanted theirs to be the one to gain her blessing to mold bone. Her intellect and popularity certainly didn¡¯t hurt either.

    She opened her mouth to answer, had to swallow and clear her throat before finally declaring in a small voice. ¡°Peacekeepers.¡±

    My eyes went wide. Out of all the sects, I had put that one as the least likely to be her choice. She was kinder than the rest of us and certainly didn¡¯t seem to have a liking nor a talent for fighting. Scales, Caretakers, Seekers¡­surely any of those would have been an better option than the Peacekeepers, but she didn¡¯t deviate from her path to stand behind Ulo.

    The Peacekeepers had nearly half of our cohort and, as we turned to face the second-in-commands of our new sects, I saw that Jin was proud of that. It made me wish no one had picked that sect despite our need to fight the sea creatures invading the goddess¡¯s shores.

    Fawnlily clapped her wooden blocks together for the last time. ¡°The choices have been made and the Saplings will now grow as they willed. May they be strong and bright and loyal.¡±

    The crowd echoed back, ¡°May they be strong and bright and loyal.¡±

    Fawnlily rose as she focused on her single new recruit. ¡°Let me show you to your new home.¡±

    Andhi looked like all her wishes had been answered as Fawnlily walked down the steps of the arena to guide her. They left the Gathering Spot through the tunnel.

    One by one the other seconds followed suit as the clamor of the crowd rose around us. Speculation, bravado at winning a bet, and disappointment swirled as the ceremonial atmosphere dropped away.

    Rivon stepped in front of Juniper and me, clicked her tongue before smiling so wide I was sure it was fake. She said, ¡°Let¡¯s get you settled in.¡±

    We followed her because now we had to stick with the choice we made.

 Book 5 - Ch. 16: Joining Up

    Rivon watched the other seconds take the rest of the cohort in hand before pulling them into the shadows, unimpressed. Idra, Nii, and Dera were left awkwardly standing on the platform since Jin either couldn¡¯t or wouldn¡¯t take more than two others with her and she hadn¡¯t told them where to go.

    Instead of offering her hands and pulling Juniper and me into the deep shadow, Rivon ambled over to the side of the platform, peered down¡ªand then disappeared over the edge. Juniper and I shared a panicked look for a moment before we rushed over to see if our new second-in-command was falling to her death.

    She wasn¡¯t. Rather she looked annoyed at our concern from where she stood on another, much thinner, branch that crossed below. It wasn¡¯t close enough for someone to use it to reach the Gathering Spot without walking the shadow paths, but dropping down onto it also wouldn¡¯t be too jarring if we hung from the platform¡¯s edge.

    Rivon challenged, ¡°Scared?¡±

    One glance at Juniper was enough to see her eyes going wide at the thought of going over the edge. She was staring at all the space around that thin branch, everything that could remind her that we weren¡¯t on solid ground but rather hundreds of feet in the air.

    ¡°Juniper, close your eyes.¡± Better to cut her panic off before it could truly begin.

    Her gaze remained fixed on the open air. ¡°That doesn¡¯t actually help.¡±

    I held back a sigh and resolved that Juniper¡¯s ire was less likely to be problematic than Rivon¡¯s. So I grabbed Juniper by the shoulders and shoved us both off the platform. She screamed, tried to scratch me, but the next moment we hit the smaller branch and Juniper sagged with relief.

    Rivon pressed a hand to her cheek in mock worry, ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re cut out for this? To be so shaken by a firestarter path¡­¡±

    Juniper shoved herself upright. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Rivon turned and walked away from us, so we had to hurry after her. ¡°Hundred Eyes know better than to just rely on the shadow paths.¡±

    She led us from one narrow walkway to another. Some twisted together in helpful intersects but at other points we had to drop from one to another or use hand and footholds to climb up. Most of them were artfully hidden by being tucked up against the larger branches or with various arrangements of pine needles and sap. Some didn¡¯t have a helpful branch that grew where varying paths needed to connect and in those places tunnels made out of thickly woven layers of pine needles crossed the distance. I hated the way they closed in tight around us even as the needles shifted underfoot, but I glared at the back of Juniper¡¯s head and kept a tight leash on my memories.

    Occasionally we ran across a firestarter hurrying in the other direction. Every time they noticed us they¡¯d freeze as if they weren¡¯t sure what they were seeing before they¡¯d nod respectfully to Rivon and wait for us to squeeze around them before they continued on their way.

    Juniper was miserable, but she seemed to be handling her fear of heights better in the Seedling Palace than she had back when we were first learning how to walk the shadow paths. Given the way she kept a death grip on one side of the railings that hemmed us in, it seemed like a barrier between her and falling helped.

    I was frustrated. I didn¡¯t like that I hadn¡¯t know how interconnected these paths were that the firestarters used nor that Rivon could parade through them without getting lost. I had known about them, but I had though they were mainly for places like the Gathering Spot that the firestarters were still expected to tend to but couldn¡¯t reach without a whisper woman¡¯s help. This maze we wove through showed that these hidden paths connected to a lot more than that. A way for firestarters to get from place to another without typically needing to worry that a whisper woman might delay them.

    Juniper protested just once when Rivon wanted us to drop again from one branch to another. ¡°Taking the shadow paths would have been quicker.¡±

    Rivon smiled back at her. ¡°And less informative.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps she didn¡¯t want us to know that she can¡¯t take us both through the shadows.¡± I had no evidence for that claim nor did I want to plant myself even more firmly on Rivon¡¯s bad side, but the words slipped out regardless. Something about her made it very easy to say the things I shouldn¡¯t. The things I thought I had gotten better at keeping behind my teeth.

    Rivon blinked wide, innocent eyes up at me from where she was already on the other branch. ¡°But I could have taken you both, and more besides. I just thought a stroll through the Seedling Palace would be nicer than those dark, misty shadows.¡±

    I fought against the glower that wanted to rise up and got it down to pinched lips. Protests weren¡¯t going to get us anywhere, so I turned to Juniper. ¡°Do you need me to push you again?¡±

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    ¡°No!¡± She glared at me before she heaved a deep breath and dropped down to the next branch. I rolled my eyes and followed after.

    We ended up in the lower branches of the Hundred Eyes¡¯ tree, just a step up from where the firestarters made their homes. A sap building made up of various bubbles perched on overlapping branches in a wide area.

    Rivon focused on Juniper and gestured to the building. ¡°Archivist Sharron asked for help organizing her records. You¡¯re now the help. Tell her I sent you and you might get to eat and sleep before you look at enough records to make your eyes bleed.¡±

    Juniper glanced from me to the building and back again. ¡°Now?¡±

    Rivon also looked at me and pouted. ¡°Did I stutter?¡±

    Juniper¡¯s expression shuttered closed as she shook her head before she hurried off toward the building. I moved to follow but Rivon slipped in front of me.

    ¡°Not you. I have standing orders to get you to our illustrious leader if you chose our sect.¡±

    I snapped to attention at that. ¡°What? Why?¡±

    There was no reason for me to meet the Hundred Eyes¡¯ sect head. Not as a newly joined Sapling that hadn¡¯t even received an invitation. I had fully expected to be ignored and dismissed while I tried to grind my way up through their ranks. History had certainly pointed to that pattern, especially when my mentor ban hadn¡¯t been lifted. I already had more brief contact with sect heads and their seconds than most seedlings, and I wasn¡¯t exactly keen to increase that experience without warning.

    Smugness shouldn¡¯t have fit Rivon¡¯s soft features so well. ¡°I guess you¡¯ll have to follow me to find out.¡±

    And then we were back to winding our way through the hidden paths, though this time we worked our way upward until we were about halfway up the tree. In the end, we did have to use a public path to reach the sect head¡¯s quarters as there wasn¡¯t a hidden path leading right up to her doorway. There wasn¡¯t anyone else to see us on the main path, which made me wonder why Rivon had been so dedicated to taking the other ones, but the question died on my tongue as I laid eyes on the sect head¡¯s residence.

    It had to be the most lit up place in the Seedling Palace. Giant pine cone lanterns ringed the area while smaller ones hung from poles made of amber sap in fiery bunches. Every corner and curve was lit at least twice over and the customary deep shadows I was used to seeing in the Seedling Palace were nonexistent here. At best there was some very pale gray splotches that I doubted could count as a shadow for even the most experienced whisper woman.

    The sap building was also odd. Rather than the dome I was used to seeing, this building seemed to spiral in on itself before branching out again after various pinch points. Nothing would ever dare to attack the Seedling Palace, but if something was stupid enough to this place¡¯s security would hinder them further.

    Rivon led me into the spiral until we reached an area with a door so heavily knotted closed it should have taken hours to untangle, but Rivon had me turn around and then, a handful of heartbeats later, she was already ushering me through the now open doorway. She locked it back up on the other side while I wasn¡¯t looking.

    We had ended up in a room full of knickknacks. Carved figurines and bits of shell, rocks and old weapons and children¡¯s toys. Other things as well along with clay tablets and scrolls that had been mixed into the debris. It was more random stuff than even what a family would keep back in the tribe. More stuff than you could have if you were traveling every season for protection from the storms.

    In the back of the room was a tall giant of a woman with light brown skin and dark hair pulled absently back into a bun, so that now it looked like half of it was about to fall back out. She was sitting at a low table, tablets and scrolls covering the surface, while she stared absently at them. A couple cushions sat on the side of the table closest to us and Rivon settled down on it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I didn¡¯t manage quite the same ease when she pointed for me to sit next to her.

    ¡°Dawnli,¡± Rivon called out softly to the other woman. ¡°We got her.¡±

    Dawnli blinked and seemed to come back from some place far away as she lifted her head. She studied me for a long, long moment before she smiled brightly. ¡°Glad you could join us.¡±

    ¡°As if my deductions would be wrong.¡±

    I whipped my head back to the side to stare at Rivon. They had predicted this? Wanted it? Since when and why?

    ¡°Pride and all that, Riv,¡± Dawnli admonished before she added hopefully, ¡°Tea?¡±

    ¡°Since you asked.¡± Rivon levered herself up and over to a small cooking stone that was randomly placed in one corner, though the rest of the clutter carefully circled around it. Then she set about boiling water and getting out cups.

    I kept staring at her like she had grown a second head when what I really wanted to do was either sprint out of the room as fast as I could or demand answers. Ever since Rivon first spoke to Dawnli, her voice had lost the quality that made me certain she was lying and that made me itch to rip into her with my words. She wasn¡¯t even posturing or exaggerating her reactions. She seemed almost¡­placid.

    It took until she clinked a cup of ¡°bitter bark tea¡± in front of me for me to find my words. Words that hopefully wouldn¡¯t put me on the bad side of a Sect head and her second.

    ¡°What is this?¡±

    ¡°Good tea.¡± Dawnli demonstrated by taking a long sip of hers.

    I couldn¡¯t quite stop my glare at her blatant misunderstanding. ¡°No, what I meant was: why did you want to meet with me?¡± I turned to

    Rivon. ¡°And what is wrong with you?¡±

    Rivon sighed, long and low. ¡°Masks are hardly fun if I have to continue them in private.¡±

    ¡°But why show me?¡± I pressed. ¡°Why now when I hadn¡¯t even figured it out yet?¡±

    Dawnli tapped the table. ¡°You¡¯re more useful to us this way. We have some hopes for you and they¡¯ll be easier to communicate if Riv doesn¡¯t have to drop a veiled threat or feign boredom or outrage or whatever else every other minute. We don¡¯t need you on edge. We need you listening.¡±

    It felt like my world had been tilted sideways. I wasn¡¯t supposed to be needed¡ªnot by these people and not when I hadn¡¯t yet had a chance to prove myself. It didn¡¯t bode well for whatever they might want to ask of me, but unless I wanted to completely ruin my chances with the sect I just joined I had little choice in at least hearing what they had to say.

    So I stayed where I was, didn¡¯t touch the tea, and waited to hear what grand plan they had in store for me when they couldn¡¯t be bothered to invite to join their sect in the first place.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 17

    Unfortunately, this is another chapter that will be delayed...my plan is to have it out by Saturday, if not sooner. I''m still working out the kinks in rebalancing my new schedule for writing time vs other responsibilities and this week I didn''t manage to make that balance work. I don''t think burning out is a concern right now, but it does irk me greatly when I don''t manage to keep the promise I made you about when you''ll get a new chapter. So I do want to thank you all for your continued patience with the delayed chapters. I''ll get my schedule straightened out so you all can have your regularly scheduled Wednesday chapters and I can be less stressed about missing the deadline because the chapters will be released on time.

    Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    Thanks for reading Path of the Whisper Woman and I hope you''ll enjoy what comes next!

 Book 5 - Ch. 17: Planning For the Future

    ¡°Let¡¯s start with the preliminaries.¡± Dawnli leaned forward to make sure I was listening. ¡°We¡¯ve already spoken with Yolanda about your mentor ban. She agreed it¡¯s time to rebalance the scales since your original judgment. You can hardly learn the ways of our sect if we aren¡¯t allowed to teach you.¡±

    I wanted to demand what the rules of my ban had been changed to, but that kind of behavior was never smart around a sect head. Dawnli seemed to be enjoying prolonging the reveal, not maliciously, but rather as if she was laying out the groundwork so the reveal would have more impact.

    ¡°Nor were we the only ones to negotiate the terms of your ban. From what we learned every sect but the Caretakers and the Seekers sent someone to change the scales on your ban.¡± Dawnli¡¯s smile gained a proud edge, just for a moment. ¡°Everyone was not able to reach the same terms Yolanda granted us.¡±

    ¡°And no one thought to let me know?¡± I couldn¡¯t hold my tongue forever.

    Rivon took a long sip of her tea before placing her cup carefully down on a small bare patch on the otherwise full table. ¡°We know the others spoke with Yolanda and that her sect had their own plans if you joined the Scales. Sending a message to you would have let everyone else know too.¡±

    So all the sects were trying to keep their potential plans for me secret from the rest. It seemed most didn¡¯t have a good chance of that with Hundred Eyes in the mix, though, given their specialty, that wasn¡¯t exactly a surprise.

    Dawnli tapped her finger. ¡°In some respects, your situation is the opposite of the redheaded girl in your cohort. We could all be open about our interest in her because of her lack of alliances or any divisive history. Her blessing is versatile and she is¡­moldable.

    ¡°You are not. You are known for being stubborn and your blessing only directly benefits you. You¡¯re already allied with the Lady of Calm Waters through her patronage and have bad blood with Jin. Since your trial your history as a healer¡¯s daughter has also become more widespread and your notoriety  is just as likely to help the sect you join as hurt it.¡±

    Rivon gave me a sidelong look as she rested her head in her hand. It was the closest she¡¯d come to her public persona since we stepped into the room. ¡°Simply put, no one wanted to touch you until your decision had been made. Just in case something went wrong again.¡±

    Oh, I understood. Dera was the safe option while I was anything but. Still, that didn¡¯t mean I had to like being treated poorly so the sects could lay any blame at my feet if things did go wrong. If they could pretend that they never wanted me, then the other sects would have less sway to hold them responsible if I earned more ire, but on the other hand, if I performed well then the sect I joined could take responsibility for my skill.

    I glared at Rivon. ¡°Including you.¡±

    She nodded in agreement. ¡°Including us. An important skill in information gathering is knowing when to act and when to keep your mouth shut.¡±

    ¡°Just because we hoped you¡¯d join us and have plans we think you¡¯ll agree to, it still didn¡¯t mean we could ignore your current circumstances or the state of affairs elsewhere,¡± Dawnli said.

    Part of me was tempted to turn them down, just because they thought I¡¯d agree, without hearing the changes made to my mentor ban or what plans they had in store or any of it. But another part of me was just as curious to see what they would say.

    I drew in a somewhat calming breath and asked, ¡°The mentor ban?¡±

    ¡°Is being lifted.¡± Dawnli held up a staying hand. ¡°As long as you have an official mentor within our sect. Yolanda judged that since you¡¯ve done better since your time with Mishtaw that it¡¯s best for you to continue to have someone present who can hold you accountable. We¡¯re thinking of pairing you with Ingrasia if your meeting tomorrow goes well.¡±

    ¡°My meeting?¡±

    ¡°Unless you¡¯d agree to her mentorship without meeting her first?¡± Rivon asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ll meet her.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± Rivon directed my attention back to Dawnli. ¡°The next point?¡±

    Dawnli nodded. ¡°Next is the matter of your accommodation. We¡¯ll have you and the other girl that joined stay with the Archivist for now. Once the records are sorted and you both are more settled in with us, we¡¯ll find a more permanent spot for you to stay at. That should take care of the preliminaries. Questions?¡±

    Given that this was the sect all about gathering information I asked a few basic questions that they answered without a fuss. The record sorting was expected to take between a week or two, my meeting with my presumed new mentor would take place tomorrow afternoon, and the Saplings from the years ahead of us would be introduced to us in time if we didn¡¯t learn who they were on our own first.

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    Then it was time to get the part we had all really wanted to discuss: why they had been hoping I¡¯d join their sect. Or, other words, how they wanted to use me.

    Dawnli started the conversation off, ¡°We have our eyes and ears on the sects, the tribesfolk and the Picker bands. We cover the goddess¡¯s territory. However, we doubt that you would fit easily into that network.¡±

    I drew myself up to protest but she held up her hand again to silence me.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you could learn, but it¡¯s best not to waste energy where it¡¯s not needed. We have others who can be forgettable and listen without anyone being the wiser. Tell me, if you needed to, could you retrace your steps from here all the way to the Gathering Spot along the route Riv took you on?¡±

    I had gotten in the habit of memorizing paths during the last boon trial. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°I thought as much. I was told that you never accidentally fell off the same spot twice during the wind whispering trial.¡± Dawnli picked up four seemingly random reports from the table and placed them in front of me. ¡°What do you think about these?¡±

    While I didn¡¯t appreciate the impromptu test in place of answers, I still dutifully looked over the information she had given me. There was a scrap of leather with a little bit of writing on the left followed by two scrolls and a clay tablet.

    The scrap of leather itself looked like it had been haphazardly cut from a larger piece, but the writing on it didn¡¯t seem to belong to a larger message. It only had two characters on it: one for growth and one for danger.

    The scrolls painted a more complete picture. The first reported increased attacks and other suspicious disturbances around the Swirling Waters delta. Apparently, hordes of fish soldiers and several of the more formidable monsters in the Lady Blue¡¯s arsenal had been assaulting the waterways there, trying to break through so they could swim up the river to First Shore Lake and the Seedling Palace on its edge. If they did break through they could be within the heart of the goddess¡¯s territory in days.

    The second scroll made it exceedingly clear that the area in question was Juniper¡¯s home territory, if the name of the delta hadn¡¯t been clue enough. It had notes about the Water Frond Snake laying dormant despite the clear danger of the defendants being overwhelmed. Tribes surrounding the delta had joined the fight as well as a contingent of Peacekeepers.

    The tablet contained a report directly to Dawnli. It summarized the difficulties in the delta before requesting aid with communication among the fighters and finding the reasons behind the Water Frond Snake¡¯s dormancy and the sudden push by the Lady Blue¡¯s forces.

    All in all, it sounded eerily similar to the fight on the shore I had been a part of years ago. Desperate fighting, new tactics by the fish, and a sudden focus on one particular area of the shoreline. In this case, it was easier to understand why the fish would fight en masse to gain access to the river, but my understanding was that area was also more heavily defended due to the risks. I wouldn¡¯t be truly surprised if this supposed full frontal assault was a decoy for another hidden operation like the cave tunnel and stealing the wind had been before.

    I said as much to Dawnli and Rivon. As well as the likely strengths and weaknesses of the current situation if it continued like it was or a few key instances changed, such as if the Water Frond Snake was no longer dormant, since that seemed to be the kind of answer Dawnli was looking for¡ªthough I also made sure to mention I was only going off the information in front me which could be incomplete or incorrect depending how old they were.

    Irritatingly, they seemed more pleased than I thought the basic analysis warranted. It wasn¡¯t much different than when I had been presented with hypothetical healing scenarios when several different patients presenting different symptoms, limited time, and a lack luster list of supplies to use. Really, if anything, the sect leader had given me more information than she tended to for those scenarios.

    Dawnli caught my gaze as she leaned forward again. ¡°Good. You¡¯ve demonstrated having an ability to grasp a situation quickly in the past as well before coming up with actionable solutions. Decisive, but flexible wit like that is valuable in our field. Dithering too long can make valuable information useless or make the opportunity to gain it lost forever. Please understand now, Gimley, that we did not want you to choose us to make you a normal recruit.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re notoriety would make that difficult regardless,¡± Rivon added.

    Dawnli continued, ¡°In the short term we will train you in the essentials of our craft but, in the long term, we would like for you to create your own information network, your own small team, if possible, in order for you to see and hear where we cannot, act when we can¡¯t pull others from their posts or risk a gap.¡±

    So, I¡¯d be given the risky missions, the ones others might die on, or the last minute ones that likely didn¡¯t have enough information to make the best decision. That was hardly a surprise between my blessing and the reckless things I¡¯d done in the past. If I accepted the proposal, Hundred Eyes would gain plausible deniability for any missions I headed, but in exchange I¡¯d get the autonomy I wanted. This was a chance I likely wouldn¡¯t get again to distinguish myself enough to possibly become one of the Chosen as well. Prevna wouldn¡¯t approve of the danger it would likely put me in, but, if we were honest, I¡¯d likely find myself in some other dangerous situation even without being assigned to the difficult missions.

    Nor was there any guarantee this plan would go exactly to their calculations. I¡¯d take the opportunity and their training for now, but if they tried to force me to do something stupid we¡¯d see who broke first. Really, it wouldn¡¯t be that different than the situation I already had with Esie and the Lady of Calm Waters. We all used the resources we had.

    I smiled, pretending like I was still just naive enough not see all the potential pit falls in their plans for me. ¡°You won¡¯t be disappointed.¡±

    Dawnli smiled back. ¡°No, I imagine not.¡±

    And that was that.

 Book 5 - Ch. 18: Mentor Meeting

    The Archivist¡¯s building, as well as the Archivist herself, wasn¡¯t what I expected. It was full of scrolls and other records, that much met my expectations, but one of the few times the Archivist spoke in her whispery voice she said the building should be called the Stronghold of All Important Knowledge. I watched her face as she said it, but there was no hint of a smile or change in inflection to let me know if she was joking or not.

    Nor was Archivist Sharron a whisper woman. No black painted her lips and she had the common blessing dots on her wrists. She had pale skin and hair, like the High Priestess, so that she seemed more like a ghost wandering the building rather than the one in charge of a half dozen assistants and all the knowledge they sifted through. She was also missing her legs. I didn¡¯t ask if it was from an accident or birth and she didn¡¯t offer, but the Archivist got around just fine with her arms. I didn¡¯t have to wonder long why she was the Archivist rather than a whisper woman as it quickly became clear that she knew the location of every bit of knowledge in the organized rooms and could recite important details about whichever scroll you asked about in extensive detail. It made me wonder if she had her own version of the memory tent but I kept the question to myself.

    I joined Juniper in a small sap chamber about the size of our past sleeping quarters in the Seed Landing. However, rather than being a place to sleep, it too was buried in heaps of records. I didn¡¯t like seeing how roughly the records were being treated even as it boggled my mind the sheer number the Hundred Eyes sect had in their keeping. For the most part, tribes relied on spoken record as taking the time to create materials for the written word and then cart them around when only healers and Grandmothers knew the eighty six basic characters was more than foolish. Here, though, Hundred Eyes seemed to have a record for anything and everything no matter inconsequential or basic.

    Our task was to sort through the piles in this room and categorize them into different groups so they could be assimilated into the larger collection. We were also supposed to note anything repetitive in nature or that was so basic whisper women wouldn¡¯t likely come asking about it.

    Our packs and bedrolls were also in the chamber as the Archivist¡¯s building wasn¡¯t aimed at accommodating more than the Archivist herself and her assistants. We¡¯d be sleeping where we worked, but no one had forbidden us from exploring the wider building, so I planned to do just that when I wasn¡¯t sorting. Better to see what I could, gain what knowledge I could in this sect that valued it so highly, rather than wasting a week or more by keeping my head down.

    Juniper wasn¡¯t sleeping or sorting when I entered the chamber. At most, it looked like she had shoved aside some of the piles so we¡¯d have room to roll out our bedrolls. I didn¡¯t like the idea of sleeping so close to her, but there was little choice unless I wanted to sleep on top of the scrolls and tablets.

    There wasn¡¯t much light in the chamber. Some small holes in the top of the chamber let in light from a pine cone lantern somewhere outside, but the holes would likely be more effective in the daylight. As it was though, I found Juniper sitting on her bedroll, staring out at the records but not really seeing them, in a room that would be too dark for anyone without the dark sight boon to navigate.

    I checked my pack and found that no one had touched its contents, including the poisoner pouch. Then I set out my own bedroll and sat on it facing Juniper. I wasn¡¯t exactly keen on prying into her brooding, but we were stuck together for now and I thought I could try doing what Prevna would have done.

    ¡°Why Hundred Eyes?¡± I asked.

    Juniper blinked and somewhat came out of her reverie. ¡°If Idra and Ento want to suck on each other¡¯s faces they can do that in the Peacekeepers sect without me.¡±

    That didn¡¯t really answer my question, but it did have more venom than I expected. Still, I also didn¡¯t want to talk about Idra and Ento, so I tried a different tactic. ¡°I thought you wanted to go home. That¡¯s less likely in this sect.¡±

    Juniper drew her knees closer to her chest. ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°So?¡±

    She smiled self depreciatingly. ¡°Spite.¡±

    I narrowed my eyes at her. That wasn¡¯t a conversation I expected her to remember nor did it seem to be the whole truth. There was something else going on. I knew I could try to pry more out of her, but after my conversation with Dawnli and Rivon I didn¡¯t have much energy to support the impulse to be friendly like Prevna. I could also tell Juniper about what I had discovered about her home territory, the sect head and her second likely expected it, but there didn¡¯t seem much point to that yet. Not when we couldn¡¯t do anything about the fighting¡ªit¡¯d likely just lead to more brooding.

    So I said instead, ¡°We should sleep.¡± I nodded to the documents all around us. ¡°There¡¯ll be a lot to do tomorrow.¡±

    She nodded back and laid down with her back to me. I slipped out of the ceremonial robe and into my regular clothes before I did the same.

    - -

    The next morning Juniper was up before me even though I had also woken up early. She was gone for a while, either to get her morning meal or do her own exploring, as I hadn¡¯t seen her when I went to get my own meal from the cooking area. I didn¡¯t press her about it when she returned. I had tried my hand at being friendly the night before and now I was more inclined to silence. If she didn¡¯t want to share that was fine. It just meant she should be less likely to ask me anything in return and that was always preferable.

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    We spent the morning sifting through the documents closest to our beds, only occasionally exchanging a sentence or two so we could coordinate our piles. I wasn¡¯t sure what had happened between when Rivon and I left her and when I returned after the meeting, but she was more subdued now. I knew she hadn¡¯t enjoyed taking the firestarter paths but I doubted that trip would¡¯ve been enough to put her in this new mood, even if she tended to brood. Still, she was working and not just pouting so I resolved to let her have her space unless that changed.

    Rivon came to get me in the afternoon for my meeting with my new mentor¡ªDawnli had said that destination depended on if the meeting went well but I had little doubt they would change their choice. I was surprised that Rivon was taking the time to bring me to her until I thought about it more. Likely they wanted to judge the meeting firsthand without any worry of information being twisted as this was the first step of their grand plan for me.

    Rivon was fully back into her flashy persona and I realized the sense of falseness I felt when she displayed it was also a choice on her part. Likely she had the skill to make all her reactions and emotions seem genuine, but for the most part she chose not to. Another tool for her to misdirect others and make them think she was finally showing her true emotions when she wasn¡¯t.

    We left the Archivist building behind for an outlook point. This one jutted out over the lake, so that between the sky and water, it felt like the blue could swallow me whole. Sitting on the railing despite the expanse looming around her was my mentor-to-be, Ingrasia.

    She looked thin to the point of frailty with thick dirty blonde hair somewhere between wavy and curly that should have overwhelmed her features, but somehow only softened the sharp angles of her face. Perhaps it was the braids interwoven throughout or the way she sat with utter certainty that she wouldn¡¯t fall. When she shifted to look at us, I saw that her eyes were as blue as the sky behind her and that she had modified her dress so it was split into two pieces. Her skirt was normal, but her top had been cut short so that the bless mark that curled around her ribs on the left side to her belly button was easily seen.

    ¡°Right on time.¡± Ingrasia smiled, but her words didn¡¯t sound like a compliment.

    ¡°Most would consider punctuality a virtue.¡± Rivon smirked.

    Ingrasia stretched her arms upward and ignored Rivon¡¯s attitude. ¡°Only those who want to please everyone else.¡± She dropped her hands back down. ¡°The person who shows up a handful of minutes late¡ªthey know their time is more valuable.¡±

    ¡°We can leave and come back,¡± Rivon offered.

    Ingrasia huffed out a breath somewhere between amusement and exasperation. ¡°I doubt you would want to seem so eager.¡±

    Rivon unexpectedly pushed me forward a step. ¡°Then eagerly meet you new apprentice.¡±

    Ingrasia shifted her gaze down to me. ¡°Do you have any interest going beyond the goddess¡¯s borders?¡±

    Possibly. At some point in the future. Seeing if all the tales of Azabel¡¯s realm were true would be interesting, but I had entirely too much going on in the goddess¡¯s territory already. Still, I could tell there was only one correct answer and I wasn¡¯t inclined to explain all the qualifications that went with it, so I just said, ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°And do you have any inclination gather information yourself or are you more of a read-the-records type?¡±

    ¡°Both.¡±

    She studied me for a moment before nodding. ¡°I can train you as long as you don¡¯t get impatient and I don¡¯t get bored.¡±

    Such an endorsement. I couldn¡¯t help but glance at Rivon to see her reaction, to see if this was really who they wanted me to mentor with. Rivon caught the look and shrugged. ¡°You¡¯ll keep each other occupied.¡±

    There was more to it than that. I knew that much just from the simple fact that Dawnli had picked Ingrasia out of all the women in the sect, but seemed that I wasn¡¯t going to get the answer out of Rivon. Not in public, and possibly not in private either. I just hoped she wasn¡¯t like Jin or that she wouldn¡¯t actually get bored and abandon me halfway through my training. Her confidence made me want to learn what she knew while her indifference made me want to insist on getting a different mentor. It felt like she was holding herself from fully engaging and I wasn¡¯t sure if that to do with Rivon or me or something else entirely.

    Still, even if she wasn¡¯t the most competent I had practice learning from difficult teachers. I¡¯d learn what I could from her and use her presence as my mentor to learn even more in other lessons the sect held. That was steps ahead of what I might have been able to glean from spying on classes in the fringes. Besides, there was something about Ingrasia that reminded me of Rawley. Not her patience, perhaps, but something else. Something that made me certain Ingrasia had all the knowledge I would ever need to be successful in the Hundred Eyes sect just like Rawley had contained depths of knowledge for how to thrive as a lone huntress.

    I lifted my slightly and met Ingrasia¡¯s gaze. ¡°I won¡¯t bore you, mentor.¡±

    She grinned back at me. ¡°I think it¡¯ll take some time, yes. But I¡¯m looking forward to see what you can learn in the meantime.¡±

    ¡°When¡¯s my first lesson?¡± I asked.

    She considered. ¡°Bring your friend here three hours after first light tomorrow. You can have the afternoon for your chores for the Archivist.¡±

    I had to fight not to show my surprise that she wanted me to bring anyone else. ¡°Juniper?¡±

    ¡°Who else?¡± She focused on Rivon. ¡°Unless the sect leader has other plans?¡±

    Rivon waved a dismissive hand. ¡°You can do what you will. We¡¯ll get the mentorship in the records but now you both are in agreement and the start of the mentorship has been witnesses I can say the mentor ban has been lifted.¡±

    I wanted to ask if she was sure but that seemed idiotic even if it seemed absurd that the mentor ban that had been hanging over my head for years was gone. Just like that. So instead I stuffed my relieved excitement down and nodded to them both. I could celebrate later when there wasn¡¯t anyone to judge me. Still, I couldn¡¯t stop the smile that curled my lips as I made my way back to the Archivist¡¯s building and Rivon stayed behind to chat with Ingrasia longer¡ªthat made me curious but there was no good place to eavesdrop on the outlook where they couldn¡¯t see me. So when Rivon dismissed me to return to my sorting I went, even as I started to think of ways I might be better able to listen in in the future.

 Book 5 - Ch. 19: New Training

    Juniper and I arrived at the outlook point shortly before the appointed time. Despite Ingrasia¡¯s needling comment to Rivon the day before, I couldn¡¯t bring myself to arrive late. That had never been a good option and it seemed like a pointless waste of time to constantly arrive after everyone else. Ingrasia might be able to get away with arriving late but I¡¯d likely just wear down the thin patience most others already had for me.

    Ingrasia, true to her point, arrived a few minutes late with another whisper woman in tow. The other woman looked younger than Ingrasia but she was tall and toned with her hair pulled back in a sensible tail and an array of weapons on her belt. Spear behind her back, sling, knife, and reinforced gloves all had their place. She looked liked she would have been more at home among the Peacekeepers or Beastwatchers rather than the information gatherers of Hundred Eyes.

    The new whisper woman smiled and set her hands loosely on her hips when they stopped in front of us. ¡°I¡¯m Ziek, Ingrasia¡¯s senior apprentice. I became a fully fledged whisper woman not long ago, but Ingrasia insists that she¡¯s not bored with me yet, so sometimes I get pulled into the odd lesson or job.¡±

    I blinked. That was entirely more information, unasked for and unearned, than I ever expected someone from Hundred Eyes to give. This sect should know, better than anyone else, that knowledge was power and I fully expected them to be selective in what they shared. Not that anything Ziek shared was particularly prized information, but she was still more open and friendly than prudent.

    Ingrasia did a small stretch before heaving out a deep breath. ¡°Doesn¡¯t it feel easier to breathe without that manipulating priss around?¡± She could only mean Rivon. ¡°Her fake displays get under my skin like an itch I can¡¯t scratch.¡±

    I could tell she had enjoyed needling Rivon during our meeting, but, again, I hadn¡¯t expected her animosity to run so deep or for her demeanor to change so suddenly. Part of me really didn¡¯t like the constant surprises Hundred Eyes seemed to be capable of.

    Ingrasia hopped back up onto the railing without a single care given to the long fall at her back. She caught the stunned looks on our faces and she waved a dismissive hand. ¡°We were in the same cohort. Do you know she started up that act right from the beginning? It took me ages to catch her in a moment with the mask dropped.¡±

    All the questions I wanted to ask nearly tangled into a knot tight enough to hold my tongue but I kept my focus on the one I really wanted to ask. ¡°Why you?¡±

    ¡°Why not? They like to keep me busy, you both are interesting, and even if Rivon and I like to test each other we both know not to ignore good business decisions.¡±

    I felt like there was game being played, already fifty or more moves deep, while I was still struggling to learn the pieces. It wasn¡¯t an entirely foreign feeling. I knew the sects and the Lady of Calm Waters and probably other whisper women I didn¡¯t even know about all had their own agendas, but it was frustrating to realize that a decision I thought I had made all on my own, that would come a surprise to others, had actually been an expected move, and now everyone else was racing ahead with their own plays while I was still stuck trying to understand why the game hadn¡¯t gone as I expected it to.

    I wanted to ask what she meant by ¡°good business decision¡± and why Rivon and Dawnli liked to keep her busy. I wanted to know why she brought Ziek along and if I could trust her casual attitude and what she wanted with Juniper. I wanted to know if I could trust her as a mentor or if I needed to question everything, always, like I had to most of the time. Did she just want to use me or would she actually teach me?

    Only time would tell. Even if I wanted my answer now.

    Ingrasia moved on before I could ask another question. ¡°So. First things first, Juniper will you accept me as a mentor? I¡¯m sure you have questions I can answer.¡±

    Juniper glanced over at me, so quick that if I hadn¡¯t been looking at her I would¡¯ve missed it, before she squared her shoulders. ¡°Yes.¡±

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    Ingrasia grinned like she had just won something. ¡°Perfect. Then this is how things will work: Ziek, here, will keep you fit and help you with your weapons work. There¡¯s always a handful of people in this sect who ignore that side of things and then lose their head when their information falls through. That won¡¯t be you. I will teach you Ground Speech, the language of the eastern territory. I will also teach you other things as the need arises. You will train with us in the afternoon and do your work for the Archivist in the morning until that assignment ends. If we are busy you will be given assignments or group classes to attend. Gimley, Esie wants to continue her lessons with you. Those lessons will be twice a week after the evening meal. We have a training area. Ziek will show you the way. From now on we will meet there unless you¡¯re told otherwise. Do you understand?¡±

    I understood that outline was already more thought out than most of my training since coming to the Seedling Palace. Jin had kept us to a training schedule, likely made by the previous whisper woman who mentored new Seedlings, but she hadn¡¯t actually taught us much of anything. What we learned we figured out ourselves. Mishtaw had taught me when she could, but between all of her responsibilities, that had often been instructions for Prevna and me to practice what we already knew. Only the rare lesson had been something new and often spur of the moment.

    I had learned since coming to the Seedling Palace, but I was sure I could be much further along in my skill and understanding if I hadn¡¯t been restricted by the mentor ban. It was refreshing to have such a clear plan of action laid out.

    Nor could I ignore that she said we would be learning the language of Azabel¡¯s territory which meant Hundred Eyes really was planning on sending me beyond the mountains. It also meant that Ingrasia knew the language and likely had cause to use it. How often could she have gone into Azabel¡¯s territory and for how long? How had she learned the language?

    I wanted to ask, but I wasn¡¯t ready to let her know that she had caught my curiosity. She already had too much power as my nearly mandated mentor and I wanted see what she offered first before I gave her more information.

    Juniper and I both said we understood her plan and Ziek led us through the sect¡¯s tree up to their training ground while Ingrasia disappeared to go do something else. Ziek showed us three different ways we could reach the training grounds without using the shadows before she also pointed out the main shadow people used to come and go. Apparently, Ingrasia and her senior apprentice agreed with Rivon¡¯s view point that it was important to be able to find our way around the Seedling Palace even without using the shadow paths.

    I couldn¡¯t fault them for that. Given the nature of the Hundred Eyes sect it made sense for them to double down on the importance of multiple escape routes.

    While we were walking Ziek happily explained that Ingrasia had two other personal apprentices who were both older than us. Ziek said that they were both out on assignments, but that at least one should be finishing up before the week was over. She also mentioned that group classes were also held in the training area for seedlings who weren¡¯t Ingrasia¡¯s apprentices. Apparently, most of those seedlings hoped to catch my new mentor¡¯s eye so they could join the ranks of her apprentices. The group classes were typically run by Ziek and other two apprentices which helped them learn in turn about leadership and communication. Ingrasia seemed to have delegation down.

    The training area turned out to be near the top of the tree on a mesh of tightly interwoven branches. Only half of the wide area was shaded by the branches above and the rest had to brave the sunlight. That didn¡¯t changed the constant temperature of the Seedling Palace but it did mean that we could feel the warmth of the sun and any breezes that blew by.

    One wide branch in the training platform flattened out to become the hub of sparring and grappling matches. Another area was dedicated to practicing with long distance weapons and a third to spear and knife. On the half protected by the drooping needles above there was a large resting area with amber benches and ice vines as well as a several group classes dedicated to noncombat skills. From what I overheard, those included everything from spying to how to pick out a firestarter.

    Ziek took us to an unoccupied spot in the combat half of the training grounds before putting Juniper and me through our paces so she could learn what we knew and where we needed to improve.

    It turns out that I was passable with spear and sling but she wasn¡¯t impressed by my knife work. Juniper was also passable with her spear but not her sling, and when she demonstrated what she typically did in combat with her blessing and pearl Ziek was impressed for a moment before she said it¡¯d best for Juniper to experiment more with her ability.

    Ingrasia didn¡¯t show up again by the time we had to head back to the Archivist¡¯s building. I wasn¡¯t sure what to think of that. So far, Ziek seemed like she had done well with Ingrasia as a mentor, but also all of our training on the first day had been done by her rather than our mentor which didn¡¯t seem to bode well for her making time to teach us anything.

    Time would tell. If I couldn¡¯t trust Ingrasia yet, I had to trust that.

 Book 5 - Ch. 20: Routine Building

    My days quickly settled into the routine Ingrasia set. In the mornings, Juniper and I moved scrolls and tablets from tall piles and put them into new ones. It felt futile and rewarding at the same time. Futile due to the repetitive nature of our work and the sheer amount of information we had to wade through, and rewarding given that I could tell we were slowing decreasing the clutter in the room as the Archivist¡¯s assistants took away the piles we had already sorted. It helped, too, that skimming the records broadened my understanding of my new sect and what information they liked to keep.

    The records we were sorting through largely dealt with the logistical details of several different missions from years past as well as the practice records of dozens of Hundred Eyes apprentices. The mission records didn¡¯t have anything remotely interesting in them¡ªlikely the records with more important information existed but the sect smart enough not put them in the hands of newly joined seedlings. Instead what we got was report after report about provisions and manpower and environmental conditions. I could still piece together some information about the missions from those details: one mission seemed to be for a small, persistent group following a person or different group through nasty cold season weather and another was a much larger operation that needed a lot of supplies commonly used for traps or hunting.

    Nearly all of the student records wouldn¡¯t need to be kept, but the information they held was of more immediately value to Juniper and me. She also caught onto their importance and our review of those records slowed down our progress considerably. Each of those records were done in the same format: name of a whisper woman, her appearance, her blessing and mark, her background, top skills, estimated rank within her sect, and top ten people she knew in order of familiarity.

    There were marks where someone had crossed out incorrect information and more than likely a decent chunk of the rest was outdated, but I still strung up a web of knots on the outside of my memory tent and tied the information I had into each one. It¡¯d be nice to be the one with information for a change. And, this way, when we were given the same mission it¡¯d be nice to pick someone I knew hadn¡¯t been investigated already, if we were given the option to choose.

    Juniper and I traded those records so we both got the chance to see every single one. I wasn¡¯t sure if she had something to help with her memory, but she also seemed practiced at retaining the wealth of information.

    During some of my spare time I wandered the rest of the Archivist¡¯s building to learn what else was kept there. I didn¡¯t spend time yet looking at any of the other records deeply, but I took note of where the sections for various bits of information were. There was everything that been in the nested library, from history to fighting techniques, and more. Strategy analysis, more dry logistics, and scroll after scroll detailing information about whisper women, seedlings, firestarters, and tribes. Likely this is what Ingrasia meant when she asked if I was a read-the-records type of person. I could read the scrolls here and likely find anything I might like to know without ever coming in contact with the person I was researching. Of course, if I did only that I¡¯d likely end up blindsided when reality no longer matched the records, but I also thought it¡¯d be idiotic to ignore information so easily available so I resolved to spend more of my limited spare time reading through those records as well.

    After the midday meal, we made our way to Ingrasia¡¯s training grounds. Often our training there started off under Ziek¡¯s watch as we improved our stamina and fighting skills. After that we either would join Ingrasia for a lesson on Ground Speech or a group class. The group lessons were varied. Sometimes they focused on improving our skill with our boons, other times they dealt with stealth or identifying important information or secrets.

    The others in the group lessons were varied as well and I wasn¡¯t surprised to learn that over the course of the lessons we got to meet most of the other Saplings in the sect. The older Saplings mainly used the lessons as a review and opportunity to ask the lecturing whisper woman more detailed questions while the rest of us worked on whatever assignment we were given.

    The other Saplings were more willing to approach Juniper than me, but for the most part they left us alone. I wasn¡¯t sure if that was how things were normally in the sect or if the rumors surrounding me and our general air of wanting to be left alone kept them away. They all seemed familiar with each other, though the more I watched the more I was able to pick out some of the social undercurrents like I had back in the tribe.

    It made me wonder how Prevna was doing in her new sect. Had she won over everyone in her sect or were they put off by her teasing? While I was learning about information was she learning about beasts and bugs and plants? Did the Beastwatchers take their new recruits into the field immediately or was she still somewhere in the Seedling Palace?

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    I got a partial answer on the third night of our forced separation. I was debating whether I should settle in for the night on my bedroll or stay up a little longer to read some more when Prevna¡¯s voice whispered in my air.

    ¡°Don¡¯t know how you keep all the plants straight.¡± And then a long moment later, ¡°Are you well?¡±

    I didn¡¯t have the skill to respond to her fully, but I still gave the answer I would have if she was right in front of me. ¡°Yes. You?¡±

    That was better than her worrying and it was true enough. I was receiving more comprehensive training than I had in a long time, even if part of me longed for the solitude of working on my skills alone. I had more whisper women wanting to influence me to their own ends than before, but that was likely to happen eventually, and I was doing my best to learn the lay of the land with the resources I had.

    Prevna¡¯s reply took an eternity before it whispered into my ear, ¡°Yes.¡±

    I hated the concise answer likely as much as she had even as relief washed through me. It said everything and nothing. I still had no idea what her day to day routine now looked like or who she was interacting with or even if she liked her new sect as much as she thought she would, and there was little chance I would get to learn those things unless I talked to her directly. Prevna¡¯s messages might always reach me but she could only send a few in a row before the effort became too much for her. I had a similar difficulty and my messages weren¡¯t guaranteed to reach my target. We were a far cry from the whisper women who could talk on the wind like they were right next to each other without any visible effort.

    But we could practice and, after that initial small exchange, Prevna and I made an effort to check in every two or three days. Prevna was better at contacting me first, but I blamed that on the fact that sometimes I had send two or three messages before she responded. I didn¡¯t get to learn much about her new life but I settled for the knowledge that she was at least alive and well.

    Juniper stuck close by me for the most part, but she didn¡¯t offer up any more insight into why she picked Hundred Eyes and I didn¡¯t ask. The sullen air about her was still more oppressive than it had been in the past, but some part of her seemed to settle as we slowly brought order to the cluttered room. Perhaps I could have tried harder to comfort her or get her to open up, but that just sounded like it¡¯d be uncomfortable for the both of us, so instead, when I noticed she particularly struggling with something, like when we practiced shadow walking, I gave her little bits of advice or went with her to chip some ice off an ice vine as a decent excuse for a break.

    I¡¯d never admit it out loud, but there was a part of me that was glad I wasn¡¯t the only one from our cohort to join Hundred Eyes. It helped too that some of her struggles reminded me of my own. If Dawnli and Rivon really were set on me leading my own group, then I could start practicing now.

    Esie also had her share of my time. Two evenings every week I walked the shadow paths over to her garden home. I had expected her to try to gather information from me about the Hundred Eyes sect, but when I thought about it more she likely had better ways to gather insight into other sects over what a new recruit could learn. Instead, she began teach me some new poisons. The focus for the new poisons were all befuddlement or disorientation, though each had their own unique side effects, time constraints, and preparation.

    It wasn¡¯t lost on me that she never specified that these poisons were only supposed be used for this or that animal of this or that size. Rather she taught me a range of doses for subjects of varying size and several of the side effects for each one indicated that they could be used on people. I¡¯d never met a boar that could speak before, slurred or not.

    Nor was it difficult to realize that these new poisons would be helpful for my expected work within the Hundred Eyes sect. Confusing someone could make it a lot easier for me to get information from them or escape, if the need arose. It made me wonder what Esie would have taught me if I had joined a different sect but that was a useless bit of speculation, so I didn¡¯t dwell on it for too long.

    However, the new routine didn¡¯t remain undisturbed for long. A few days before Juniper and I were set to finish organizing our room within the Archivist¡¯s building, Esie made an offhand comment that challenged my focus on building my place in the Hundred Eyes sect while we were sitting in the work area of her garden.

    ¡°Our Lady is proud of your recent growth. She has a request she¡¯d like to make of you if you¡¯d be amenable to paying back one of her favors.¡±

    I narrowed my eyes at Esie. As if I could decline when she phrased it like that. ¡°What would she like help with?¡±

    Esie leaned forward conspiratorially. ¡°Just a small thing. Not even a rock delivery.¡± I was tempted to roll my eyes at that but I kept my expression more neutral as she continued, ¡°There¡¯s a meeting that¡¯s likely going to happen in the next few days at the Gathering Spot. I¡¯ll tell you when I have the details. Our Lady would like you to attend¡ªquietly¡ªand report on your understanding of what you heard to me.¡±

    Not even two weeks into joining my new sect and I already had my first spying mission, even if it came from someone outside the sect. There was little doubt things wouldn¡¯t go well for me if I was caught listening in, but I was also curious what the meeting could possibly be about or why the Lady of Calm Waters would bother to involve me.

    ¡°Why?¡± I asked.

    Esie shrugged. ¡°Practice makes perfect.¡±

    ¡°Do you know what the meeting is about?¡±

    Esie¡¯s expression darkened briefly. ¡°The shore. The Lady Blue has been busy lately.¡±

    My mind immediately went to the reports Dawnli had shown me about the fighting in Juniper¡¯s home. That was a situation I wouldn¡¯t mind having more information on.

    ¡°I¡¯ll do it.¡±

    Esie grinned and leaned back. ¡°I¡¯ll let our Lady know.¡±

 Book 5 - Ch. 21: Every Spy Has to Start Somewhere

    The Gathering Spot was a poor place to spy on. Likely because it was designed to keep the meetings there private, but part of me didn¡¯t appreciate the difficulty of my first mission¡ªthe rest of me was determined to show Esie that I wouldn¡¯t fail. Hiding places were slim and I was too well known to easily disguise myself as part of the group.

    I thought about declaring that I was there at the Lady of Calm Water¡¯s behest and spy in plain sight, but doing that would likely result in the whisper women sending me away or not discussing anything I wasn¡¯t supposed to overhear. So I figured it¡¯d be best to keep that as a backup plan in case hiding didn¡¯t go as planned.

    Hiding in the large pile of sitting cushions was the most obvious option, but I didn¡¯t want to pick it for that reason. All would it would take to be found out was a pillow shifting the wrong way or a whisper woman deciding to throughly make sure the meeting was secret.

    Still, I did try to shadow walk to the shadows in the cushion alcove so I could bypass the regular gathering area outside the arena, and the tunnel leading into it, but no matter how many times I tried my mind wouldn¡¯t¡ªcouldn¡¯t¡ªstay focused on those shadows and would be drawn to the deep shadow we were supposed to use. It felt similar to the way the ghost spot tugged at me whenever I made a shadow path now, though that tug was easy to ignore in the Seedling Palace. However, this was more than a tug. It was a combination of most of the shadows in the Gathering Spot feeling like they were iced over, too slick to grasp, and the threshold shadow drawing my attention like a lodestone.

    It was uncomfortable having my attention forcibly shifted like that over and over again, and I¡¯d never experienced something like it with the shadow paths. What¡¯s more I hadn¡¯t noticed the effect until I purposefully tried to avoid the main shadow. If I had to guess, I¡¯d say the effect was the goddess¡¯s work, and that was the only reason, other than needing more time, that caused me to stop trying to force my way through. Well that, and the fact that getting onto the platform was the least of my difficulties. Hiding was still an issue.

    My other options for hiding involved hiding in the alcove holding the sitting cushions or the entrance tunnel after all the whisper women had settled, but then I was relying on luck that no one else would enter those places after the meeting started and that I¡¯d still be able hear what was being discussed while staying far enough back to keep out of sight. And if I picked the cushion alcove, I might as well hide in the cushions for the extra cover.

    If I wanted to take a lot bigger risk than the meeting likely warranted, I could also try to get onto the balcony that overlooked the Gathering Spot from the goddess¡¯s nest, but I wasn¡¯t quite ready to throw myself onto the goddess¡¯s vanishingly small goodwill.

    Which left me wishing I had a blessing like Loclen¡¯s shadow blending or Kaylan¡¯s far listening until I considered other directions I could try. Surely, there was some less obvious to hide around the Gathering Spot to listen in. Going underneath wouldn¡¯t solve anything even if I could find a way to climb under the branch, and I could try to climb over the entrance tunnel, but from what I could tell that would still put me in the eye line of anyone on the top level of the arena. But above that¡­

    I slipped into the Gathering Spot in the middle of the night and inspected where the branch curled over on itself to create a veil of obscuring pine needles. Rivon had already reminded Juniper and me that there could be paths hidden just out of sight when she dropped off the edge of the landing to the fire starter path below. Fire starters would hardly need to climb the branch for cleaning, but I doubted I was the first one set to spying on a meeting in the Gathering Spot. Few people remember to look up and I¡¯d still be able to hear the meeting up in the needles.

    My first obstacle to overcome when it came to reaching my chosen hiding place was climbing the smooth trunk of the branch. There weren¡¯t conveniently placed smaller branches to pull myself up with until I reached the upper part the needles draped down from. I tried to whip the rope I brought with me around the back of the branch so I could hold onto either end and use the tension to climb up, but I mostly ended up slapping the side of the branch and came nowhere close to getting it to wrap around the other side.

    Shadow walking was just as ineffective as it was for the rest of the Gathering Spot and I was getting more than a little worried all my attempts with rope would bring someone to check on the activity. If only I could climb the needles without them breaking¡ª

    I broke off that complaining thought as I remembered climbing the Seedling Palace¡¯s pine needles the past. A braided rope leading up to the fighting arena from the Seed Landing. It¡¯d be harder to hide such a thing when there less needles here than the entire platform that had been covered in them there, but I could always unbraid the thing after I climbed up.

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    Working quickly, I grabbed as big of an armful as I could of pine needles and tied off the bottom with some rope before repeating the process twice over. The top of each section was looser than I¡¯d like, but I didn¡¯t to waste time and energy twisting them tighter, especially when that risked tearing needles out of the goddess¡¯s precious trees. I braided the sections together before tying them together at the bottom with my long length of rope and tied the other end of the rope around my waist.

    For once, I was glad for my shorter stature as I set my foot on the lowest braided section and prayed that the whole didn¡¯t break loose. Breaking armfuls of pine needles a stone¡¯s throw from the goddess¡¯s nest sounded nearly as foolish as climbing up onto Her balcony.

    I held my breath as I trusted my weight to the braid of pine needles and¡ªit held. Slowly, carefully, I climbed higher. The pine needles were slick against my palms and the braid shifted as I climbed, but the needles didn¡¯t snap off and I reach the part where the needles fanned out at the top without issue. From there it was as simple as heaving myself up onto one of the supporting branches and straddling it for balance.

    Then I locked my legs around the branch and began the exhausting work of hauling my makeshift ladder up after me. Arm length by arm length, I pulled on the rope I tied to the bottom of the braid until I got it up and over the branch I was on. Then I pulled on the braid so I¡¯d have better access to more of it before I untied the rope and set to unraveling my work. I pushed and shook the needles free from the sections I had put them in so that when they fell back to their spots it didn¡¯t look like they had ever been bound together at all.

    When I sat back to appreciate the result of my efforts I noticed there were branches above I might have been able to tie my rope to and lower myself down, but I wasn¡¯t sure exactly where the Gathering Spot was located in the Seedling Palace. It seemed to be the type of secret you figured out on your own as a seedling or others got to gloat how oblivious you are for not figuring it out as a whisper woman. A project for some other time.

    As it was, I made sure that there weren¡¯t any signs of movement above in case someone spotted me before I made my way to where the tip of the main branch stopped about three quarters of the way over the tunnel leading to the arena. The branch dipped slightly under my weight as it narrowed down to sprout needles, but as long as I kept still I¡¯d have a good view of the entire arena and likely be able to hear most of, if not all, the conversation unless they decided to whisper.

    Smiling to myself in victory, I tied my rope onto the branch I used to pull myself up from the braid, knotted it a few times along its length after untying it from my waist, and then used it to climb down back to the platform. All I could do after that was shove the rope behind the veil of needles and hope the Gathering Spot¡¯s seemingly remote location prevented anyone from noticing it. I didn¡¯t like leaving such on obvious loose end, but there was no way to prove the rope was mine and a quicker way up was worth the risk. If the rope was discovered and removed, I could always braid the needles together again.

    Preparations in place, I went back to the Archivist¡¯s building to sleep and wait for Esie¡¯s update on the meeting. It came the next morning. The meeting was set for that evening, conveniently when I was supposed to meet with Esie for poison training, so I wouldn¡¯t have to come up with some excuse to shake off Juniper¡¯s curiosity about where I was going, not that she often asked when I went exploring, but the information informed me of two things.

    One, Esie was much more skilled at wind whispering that Prevna and me. Which wasn¡¯t exactly surprising even if it did give me something to aspire to. She could say much more than the short sentence or two we could manage with ease and her voice didn¡¯t fade in and out in volume nor was the sound of wind underlying her words, slurring them slightly. It was if she was right next me, uncomfortably close so she could whisper in my ear.

    Two, Esie had more of a hand in this meeting than she initially implied. I doubted the timing of the meeting was pure coincidence. Which also meant I wasn¡¯t likely supposed to listening for new information to report back to her that she wouldn¡¯t know otherwise, but rather she¡ªor the Lady Of Calm Waters¡ªreally did want my take on whatever the meeting covered. It didn¡¯t make sense to me that they¡¯d use a favor just to learn my opinion on a meeting I wasn¡¯t supposed to know about. A meeting Esie might already be attending if she got to pick when it was.

    There had to be some hidden agenda I was missing. Some dangerous component I didn¡¯t have the information to uncover until it was staring me in the face, like when I went to deliver the stone and got delivered into the hands of a wish maker instead. The trouble was I could still only guess at the Lady of Calm Waters and her intermediary¡¯s motivations. What did ¡®calming the waters¡¯ even mean? Ending all fighting with the Lady Blue and her sea monsters? That seemed next to impossible and, for all the goddess and Her sister seemed to want to ignore the Lady Blue¡¯s existence, I wasn¡¯t sure they actually take well to her demise. And I strongly doubted the fighting could end while she still lived in the waters given all the stories about her vendetta against the goddesses.

    Well, with my current resources I wasn¡¯t likely to find out the answers to any of it. One way or the other, I¡¯d learn more tonight. Perhaps even more than Esie planned on me knowing.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 22

    Hi everyone, sorry about this but chapter 22 is going to be a delayed chapter. I should have it out by Friday or Saturday, but it''s turning out longer than I thought it would be and I really want to make sure I get the meeting scene right since it should lay some of the groundwork for Gimley''s broader understanding of what is going on around Heliquat''s territory right now. I''m not sure that''s coming across the way I want it to at the moment. So I''d like to thank you all again for being patient with me and for reading the story so far! I hope you enjoy the chapter once I fix it and get it posted!

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 Book 5 - Ch. 22: Clandestine Actions

    I left for the meeting an hour early with the excuse that Esie had extra training for me tonight. Better to get to the platform early than chance arriving at the same time as one of the attendees. Still, I made my way down to the fire starter path that went below the Gathering Spot first so I could listen for any sounds above before I stepped through the shadows.

    All was quiet except for the brush of wind. I stepped through the nearest shadow and followed the pull to the entrance shadow above. The platform was empty just like it was supposed to be, so I hurried over to where I had hidden my rope in the pine needles and breathed a sigh of relief when my hand closed over its coarse surface.

    I pulled myself up it without much trouble, though I was grateful for the knots I had tied by the end of it. They gave me a little bit of extra leverage as I climbed. Then I followed the same steps I took the night before and pulled the rope up after me to hide the evidence before I slipped over to where the branch overlooked the Gathering Spot.

    It wasn¡¯t the most comfortable spot to lay, but I had dealt with worse and I knew better than to sit upright and offer my profile for anyone who bothered to glance up. So I settled into a position I should be able to hold indefinitely without falling off the branch or a limp falling asleep and waited for the whisper women to show up.

    A pair of whisper women were the first to arrive. I recognized both without any of the extra studying I¡¯d done recently. Kaylan, the Far Listener and Esie¡¯s partner, and Hattie, the friendly squad leader I had met after I fell from the root wall saving the commander and got swept away in the wave of water. I resolved to be very, very quiet. If I gave Kaylan any reason to focus in on this direction she¡¯d easily be able to hear my breathing.

    The Beastwatchers¡¯ second, Morwen, arrived next and I felt the stakes for this particular meeting rise even higher. If there was a second-in-command involved then the meeting had to be important, especially since from what I heard, this particular second rarely put anything ahead of exploring the goddess¡¯s territory.

    Esie strode in not long after her and I was caught between feeling vindicated and annoyed. On one hand, I was glad I had put together that she¡¯d likely be part of the meeting, but on the other it only made me more suspicious about why the Lady of Calm Waters might want me to listen in on the meeting.

    The four were all greeting each other when three other whisper women arrived in quick succession. Two I recognized from the student reports I had read: Nix and Ambervale. Nix was a senior whisper woman in my new sect, Hundred Eyes, and she was known for solving mysteries that required long in depth research that others didn¡¯t have the patience for. Ambervale was a Seeker who had dedicated herself to learning all about the ocean, the Lady Blue and her sea monsters. The student¡¯s report said that she would interview anyone who would let her about their experiences with those things and that she made frequent visits to the shore in different parts of the goddess¡¯s territory as well. It was said, apparently, that the Lady of Calm Waters knew everything about fighting the sea monsters and Ambervale knew everything else.

    The last whisper woman wasn¡¯t a whisper woman at all, I realized as I focused on her. Nor was she a fire starter or a seedling or anyone else who belonged in the Seedling Palace. She had a lithe, toned build, brown-blonde hair cut close to her scalp, and a presence about her despite being surrounded by whisper women. If I didn¡¯t miss my guess, she was the tribe leader of a large tribe and she bore a striking resemblance to my fellow Hundred Eyes recruit I had left back in our room of papers in the Archivist¡¯s building.

    I stared at Juniper¡¯s mother and tried to reconcile how she was here, why she was here, and why Esie had wanted me to know about it, even as my mind spun trying to understand how such a woman had created the girl I knew. It didn¡¯t look she had ever missed a day of battle and she had the scars to prove it, but Juniper¡¯s skill set seemed more theoretical than honed through practical experience.

    The whisper women all settled on the first tier of the Gathering spot, even Morwen, while Juniper¡¯s mother had to suffer the indignity of being the only one to remain on the ground level. Was this a hearing then? A petition? By why bother to bring Juniper¡¯s mother all the way to the Seedling Palace for that?

    My eyes narrowed. Some point was being made and I didn¡¯t like not knowing what it was. Especially when this particular gathering of whisper women might have power in their own way, but I doubted they had the ability to officially accept a petition. Morwen might, as the Seekers¡¯ second, but it was more likely that she could advise the Seekers¡¯ head about such things but not make the final decision.

    There weren¡¯t any sect heads here nor a member of the goddess¡¯s Chosen. No one who could make a unilateral decision on behalf of a sect or whisper women as a whole. It didn¡¯t make sense unless they were leading her on. Or setting a trap. Tribe leaders weren¡¯t brought to the Seedling Palace; it broke the unspoken rules separating the regular tribesfolk from whisper women.

    Esie smiled at her from her central spot among the other whisper women. ¡°Welcome, Tribe Master Toniva.¡±

    So the Swirling Waters tribe was actually a collection of smaller tribes, similar to the clans in the Root Mountains. I had heard of Tribe Masters mentioned in a handful of the stories I knew but they weren¡¯t common where I had grown up. My tribe had split up the leadership roles between Grandmother, the tribe leader and the Pack leader, but Tribe Masters centralized the power into one position, with the except of the tribe¡¯s Grandmother, and also often had several subsidiary tribes pledged to them as well. They controlled large swathes of territory and could fill enter cold season shelter spots with just their tribe and the tribes pledged to them, rather than the mix we had in Grislander¡¯s Maw. The most prominent Tribe Master in the stories was Oleandri, Stone Fist of the East. I wondered if Juniper¡¯s mother was anything like that legend.

    Toniva knelt on her cushion. ¡°My thanks for hearing me.¡± She lifted her head. ¡°My people will be overrun by this time next year unless something changes. The horde does not slack with the cold as they have in the past.¡±

    Hattie leaned forward. ¡°They normally pull back during the cold season in the delta? Wish that was true everywhere.¡±

    Toniva nodded. ¡°The smaller channels in the delta freeze over and the cold gives us firmer footing. We can focus our defense on the larger channels they are forced to swim through then and make the cost so high that they pull back to try to slip past us during the warm season.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t try to go overland?¡± Hattie asked.

    ¡°They try¡ªrarely. The fish do poorly when they attempt it. They can handle themselves fairly well in the few open areas of the delta, but they quickly lose their mobility when they try to navigate the foliage. Our slingers and ambushers love the easy targets they make then.¡±

    ¡°So why are you having so much trouble now?¡±

    ¡°We have skill and knowledge of the terrain, experience. If this was a normal year I wouldn¡¯t be making claims about becoming overrun.¡± Toniva squared her shoulders as she stared up at the whisper women. ¡°But they have numbers and they do not pull back. No matter how many we kill, no matter how yellow the water runs with their blood. Thousands more arrive every week to replace the ones we¡¯ve killed.

    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

    ¡°We have no such replacements. My people are tired after a season of hard fighting. We use the cold season to recover, to rest and prepare our traps and weapons for the next season of fighting. We can handle the horde testing us, but we cannot handle a full year or more of fighting without the Water Frond Snake, without reinforcements, without time to rest. So I am asking for the sake of my people and for the protection of the grand lake, to either have the shore frozen, including the large channels, or return my daughter to us so we can wake the Water Frond Snake.¡±

    I had to stifle a gasp. Juniper might get her wish after all. That, or there¡¯d have to be a mass exodus so the High Priestess could freeze the shore, but I wasn¡¯t sure how they could manage that while still defending the river.

    Morwen said, ¡°A mass freeze could hurt the land or open up new channels you¡¯d need to defend. Why not ask for reinforcements?¡±

    ¡°A freeze would offer more opportunity for rest. With respect, if fighters could be spared we would appreciate the help, but we have learned separate forces fare worse than a cohesive one.¡±

    In other words, she didn¡¯t think that Peacekeepers would work together with her people or listen to her. They might have two different forces between the whisper women and the tribesfolk, but she didn¡¯t think that would give them the boost they needed to stop the fish in their tracks.

    Esie tilted her head. ¡°And the Water Frond Snake?¡±

    ¡°My people could rest while it defended the delta. It would need its own rest eventually, but the Water Frond Snake should be able to buy us the time we need to face the horde.¡±

    I was becoming increasingly curious about what the Water Frond Snake actually was. Some guardian spirit similar to the wind spirits? A monstrous creature like Grislander in the stories? If it was born of a wish like Grislander, I didn¡¯t see how the goddess wouldn¡¯t have destroyed it within minutes of it coming to life.

    Ambervale broke into the conversation. ¡°You say that the Lady Blue¡¯s creatures are pushing harder this year than they have in the past. Do you have any hints as to why? Any other odd behavior you¡¯ve noticed?¡±

    Toniva shook her head. ¡°They push beyond all reason now, but there was no change the year before or the one before that. It is as if they desperate to escape the ocean or the Lady Blue has lost all patience. There have been more of their heavy hitters this year and during the warm season there were so many fish clogging the channels we could have walked from bank to bank without sinking below the surface if they weren¡¯t trying to kill us.¡±

    Esie spread her hands in front of her, palms up. ¡°We have heard your plea, Tribe Master. You will have our answer soon.¡±

    Toniva dipped her head in acknowledgment and a long moment later, Hana, the whisper woman who was very skilled at shadow walking, stepped from the tunnel. Toniva followed her back into the tunnel and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if Hana was going to take her back to her tribe. It likely wasn¡¯t good for the Tribe Master to be gone long from her people if the fighting was as bad as she made it sound.

    The whisper women waited until she was gone before they began to speak among themselves.

    ¡°Do you think this another cover for some secret operation the Lady Blue is trying to hatch?¡± Hattie asked.

    Kaylan shrugged a lazy shoulder. ¡°If it is, the Tribe Master doesn¡¯t have the people to look into it. They are stretched thin fighting the horde as it is.¡±

    Hattie nodded thoughtfully. ¡°The commander is willing to send more squads to the delta, but there¡¯s little point in adding more bodies to the grind without a way to stem the assault.¡±

    Morwen added, ¡°We¡¯ve been seeding the delta for generations with the tribe¡¯s help, cultivating its natural defenses. The fish should have no incentive to try to breach those defenses, not when they are dying to them in the droves they always have.¡±

    I blinked in surprise at that. It was odd to think of a mass area being purposefully changed and influenced without the goddess¡¯s involvement, but given the nature of the delta it also made sense that it would be defended as much as possible, even down to the plant growth.

    ¡°The Lady Blue¡¯s forces have been increasing their assault on all shores over the past few years. I haven¡¯t found any conclusive reason why they might focus on the delta now other than reaching here, but¡­¡± Ambervale glanced over at Esie before clearing her throat and pushing on, ¡°perhaps the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ influence is weakening. Each assault they try without being cut to ribbons allows their confidence to grow.¡±

    Esie¡¯s smile didn¡¯t waver. ¡°Maybe so.¡±

    Nix shifted in her spot and all eyes shifted to her. ¡°I¡¯d like reports and maps detailing the fighting in the delta and surrounding area for the past five years at least. Perhaps that will point to what is motivating them rather than a simple lack of fear.¡± Another thought seemed to occur to her. ¡°Has the Water Frond Snake been asleep since the seedling came here?¡±

    Esie answered, ¡°It¡¯s only been awoken once since Juniper inherited the pearl.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps that accounts for part of the answer then,¡± Nix said.

    ¡°No one wants to face the the goddess¡¯s wrath should the fish reach here,¡± Esie said. ¡°Let us find the full answer quickly so my mistress can take it to the sect heads and drive them into action. Many want to dismiss the threat as being overblown and focus on their own affairs. That can¡¯t be allowed to stand.¡± She ran her gaze over the whisper women before adding with a note of finality, ¡°Let¡¯s see what answers we can come up with in a few days time. I¡¯ll contact you with the meeting details.¡±

    No one looked upset by the dismissal. Instead they all slowly filtered out of the Gathering Spot while exchanging little bits of small talk until Esie was the only one remaining. She picked up her cushion and put it away in the alcove before making her way back up to the Gathering Spot¡¯s top tier. She stood and faced the goddess¡¯s nest.

    I had to shift and strain to see past hanging pine needles, but once I did my blood froze, still remembering the ache of being frozen solid for weeks on end.

    Lithunia, the High Priestess, stood on the balcony growing out of the goddess¡¯s nest. I could have sworn she hadn¡¯t been there before¡ªnone of the whisper women had seemed to notice her¡ªbut if she was involved then it made more sense why Toniva had been brought here.

    They looked at each other for a long moment before Lithunia spoke, ¡°I¡¯ll relay the danger.¡±

    My eyes widened. This was much, much bigger than I had originally thought. There were only two options for who Lithunia would relay information to: the other Chosen or the Beloved herself.

    Esie had made it sound like that she and the other whisper women had to gather evidence to even get the sect heads¡¯ attention, even though, somehow, the High Priestess was already listening in on the discussion.

    I wasn¡¯t sure if I wanted to be involved in something of that magnitude, especially when I still didn¡¯t understand what part I supposed to play in it. Was I supposed to tell Juniper that her mother was here, petitioning for help because she feared their home would overrun? Why wouldn¡¯t they just call on Juniper directly if they needed the pearl for the Water Frond Snake? Why would Esie let me know about the High Priestess¡¯s involvement when she kept it from the other whisper women?

    Danger. That was the only thing I could be certain of. This was a dangerous situation for a seedling to be involved in.

    Lithunia disappeared back into the goddess¡¯s nest, a place most wouldn¡¯t dare tread, and Esie seemed proud as she strode back down to the ground level and into the tunnel.

    I stayed where I was for another half hour as I turned over everything I had learned and different possibilities for what might be going on beneath the surface. Once I was sure the landing was clear, I turned to make my way back to my rope and climb down.

    Only to find Kaylan sitting on the branch, playing with my rope. I had no idea how she had somehow made her way up here¡ªand I was starting to get tired of not knowing things.

    ¡°I thought I heard someone up here.¡± She smiled at me, lazy and self assured. ¡°Did Esie put you up to this?¡±

    At this point I doubted I could away with lying. ¡°As a way to repay a favor. She said the Lady of Calm Waters wanted to know what I thought about the meeting.¡±

    ¡°Hmm.¡± Kaylan dropped the rope back into its spot and leaned forward. ¡°The way I see it you got a mentor for fighting, a mentor for language lessons, and mentor for poisons, but you haven¡¯t got a mentor for what Hundred Eyes is known for: gathering information.¡±

    I narrowed my eyes at her. ¡°Are you offering?¡±

    ¡°Would you accept if I did?¡± she countered. Then added, ¡°Esie is a wonderful, meddlesome woman, but she¡¯s best dealt with both eyes open. Send me a whisper if you decide to accept.¡±

    I was still trying to come up with a response when she stood and jumped up to touch a shadow on the underside of a branch overhead. She disappeared into the shadow paths and I glowered up at the shadow. It was technically outside of the Gathering Spot which is why she likely hadn¡¯t run into the same problem I had before, but it also wasn¡¯t a large or particularly deep shadow, and even if I was brazen enough to jump on this branch I wouldn¡¯t able to reach the shadow. I couldn¡¯t have done the same thing even if I wanted to.

    So I dropped my rope down and had to leave the branch the basic way. Once I climbed down I hid the rope in the needles again in case I¡¯d have to spy in the future. If I did, I hoped it wasn¡¯t anything as dramatic as what I had witnessed tonight. I had more than enough to think about now.

 Book 5 - Ch. 23: Late Night Conversation

    Esie contacted to me to let me know I didn¡¯t need to share my thoughts with her about the meeting right away. Instead, she said I should gather my thoughts together and come see her when I had time in the next day or two.

    It felt like another test and it made my hackles rise. Esie had helped me out in the past, there was no doubt about that, and she was friendly when many other whisper women hadn¡¯t been, but I didn¡¯t like feeling like I was just dancing to her whims. Ever since I went to the inner valleys her tests had become more openly apparent and frequent. It was as if she, or the Lady of Calm Waters, had decided they needed to knew what role I could play in their little group or how much I could be pushed before I said enough. Or both.

    Well, enough was enough.

    If she wanted to know my response she could have it now. She didn¡¯t need the chance to observe me or test whether I would go straight to Juniper with everything I had learned. Juniper would learn the truth one way or another, but there was little point in telling her now when there was little enough we could do to act on the information. Besides, Esie wasn¡¯t the only one who could ask questions, and her answers would inform my own.

    It was getting late but I went to her second home first since that was where I was used to finding her now. But her garden full of dangerous plants was empty along with the storage dome. When I went to her regular residence it was the same story. Apparently, Esie was keeping busy after the meeting. I tried sending her a whisper on the wind and then a second, in case the first failed, but she didn¡¯t answer.

    Stymied, I stood on her balcony and tried to figure out my next move. I didn¡¯t want to wait to give her my report since that¡¯s what she wanted me to do, but I also couldn¡¯t give a report to someone I couldn¡¯t find. Well, if I had the materials I could write down my basic thoughts but then I wouldn¡¯t be able to see her reactions and I¡¯d run the risk of someone else finding the message if I left it behind. And my current skill with wind whispering wasn¡¯t good enough to give a full report either.

    In the end, it came down to two options: either I could wait where I was with the expectation that Esie would come home to sleep at some point or I could head back to my own bedroll and try contacting Esie again tomorrow at a more reasonable time.

    I wasn¡¯t in the mood to be reasonable. I had just watched and heard one thing after another that I wasn¡¯t supposed to know and I still didn¡¯t know why I was involved. Having questions and no answers didn¡¯t sit well with me, especially since the last time that happened with my patron and her emissary I ended up in the clutches of a wish maker.

    I settled down against the curve of her balcony, so I could watch the entrance to her home while being less conspicuous to anyone who might pass by. I ignored the fact that I had a comfortable bedroll waiting for me that I could easily shadow walk to and that I still had lessons tomorrow I should be alert for. Esie had said I should come when I had time during the next day or two and I had time now.

    While I waited for Esie to make an appearance, I split my attention and turned most of it inward to my memory tent. Now that I no longer had the sprawl of plants going to the horizon I had room to work with other things that caught my attention. Still, I couldn¡¯t quite bring myself to focus on the meager patch I had consolidated my poison knowledge to. Not when the knowledge I was learning from Esie couldn¡¯t yet hide the hacked apart nature of the plants from my previous training.

    Instead, I focused on creating a space for my growing knowledge of the turmoil happening in the Swirling Waters delta and a narrow, framing plot for how Esie, the Lady of Calm Waters, and I might relate to it, including my suspicions on their motivations for getting involved.

    I would have loved a map of the region, but without one I created a vague outline of what I assumed the delta could like based on what I heard. It was more to help me organize my thoughts rather than anything that could help geographically.

    Hordes of fish and the other monsters I had faced filled the sea beyond the delta while a large tribe of people that mostly looked like Juniper and her mother filled the delta. I sprinkled a few squads of whisper women in there as well.

    Then I set about assimilating the other information I had learned: the frozen channels, rough terrain and tired fighters, the horde pressing into the waterways, and so on. I created symbolic fights and posed conversations so I could have a shorthand to reference for the relationships between the different groups. In one a group of grinning tribesfolk ambushed a group of fish soldiers and in another I had three tribespeople lowering their heads to Juniper¡¯s mother who in turn was giving a whisper woman the side eye. I even put a giant curled up snake in one corner for lack of any better idea of what the Water Frond Snake could be.

    On the edges of my imaginary map, I hooked bits of information that didn¡¯t lend themselves well to being visualized yet and set up up statues of everyone who had been present at the meeting, including Hana and the High Priestess. I also made statues for Juniper and me since we were getting drawn in by the others.

    It painted an abstract, grim picture. Through sheer numbers and time the Lady Blue¡¯s soldiers could win out over the delta¡¯s defenders unless something was done to deter them from continuously sending reinforcements. There was also the commonalities between this sudden, intense attack and the fight on the shore. If all the fighting really was a distraction though, I was glad for our goddess¡¯s apathy over the Lady Blue¡¯s cruelty towards her creatures.

    Given the importance of defending the delta and the river that created it, I was a bit surprised most of the fight had been left to the tribesfolk there rather than whisper women. Whisper women tended to keep their affairs to themselves, but it did make sense to have another fighting force when, otherwise, nearly all of the Peacekeepers would likely be needed to defend the delta, or even just the last defense at river¡¯s mouth. If that happened then threats would be free to act elsewhere.

    Which, perhaps, was the purpose of all the fighting, to overwhelm the tribesfolk so they were forced to call in the Peacekeepers and keep them from other posts. But I didn¡¯t have the necessary information to know what the Lady Blue might target instead.

    If the fighting wasn¡¯t a distraction then there had to be a reason why the Lady Blue thought taking the fight to the delta and then the Seedling Palace was worth the fight now. That there was some weakness she thought she could exploit.

    Stolen story; please report.

    It made me think of the visions I had during my dark vision trial. Fish and Shore Eaters invading a forest; the Seedling Palace broken and splintered with an army of shamble men before it.

    But, surely, this situation couldn¡¯t be that. Not the second vision, at least. That one had also contained a scarred old woman among the shamble men and my gut insisted that woman had been me. And even if that wasn¡¯t true, it was lunacy to think the Seedling Palace could be destroyed while the goddess breathed¡ªand goddesses don¡¯t die.

    Perhaps, in the vein of crazy ideas, the sea creatures might have a slim chance of threatening the Seedling Palace if the Lady Blue got involved directly in the fight, but there was no precedent for it that I could think of. The demigoddess¡¯s wail might enough to make a person¡¯s soul shudder and she might capsize every attempt to travel through her watery territory, but she never seemed to tear at the shore with her minions. Perhaps because she knew that was a step further than what the goddess could tolerate or because she didn¡¯t want to waste her effort on simply being a nuisance.

    The Lady Blue had already proven she had the capacity to be a cunning enemy and it made me uneasy to wonder why she was pushing the fight now. In some ways she already had the upper hand between the sheer numbers of her forces and the adaptations she had made to them so they could infiltrate the land while we had yet to glimpse more than the surface of her domain.

    I¡¯d have to look into whether there were any other areas of interest that the fight at the delta might be distracting us from. Falling for the same misdirection tactic again would be the height of idiocy even if the entire coastline could be suspect.

    Esie arrived home in the small hours of the night. I was struggling to stay wake at that point after the late night I had before setting up my spying post for the meeting, but I jerked to attention when she stepped in front of her doorway.

    My mentor caught the movement and stopped untying the knot holding the entrance flap closed. She shifted and I had the sudden image of a poisoned needle sticking out of my neck.

    ¡°It¡¯s me,¡± I said. Not the most eloquent, but I didn¡¯t feel like surviving something unpleasant and that was what spilled out.

    Esie immediately relaxed and her customary smile slipped onto her lips. ¡°Had so many thoughts you couldn¡¯t wait?¡±

    ¡°Something like that.¡±

    She chuckled and finished untying the entrance flap. She held it open for me. ¡°Let¡¯s hear them then.¡±

    I slipped past her and into her home. It wasn¡¯t cluttered or austere, nor did it have the small personal effects that Mishtaw had acquired during her travels, the things that reminded her she was home. Esie¡¯s home was serviceable with her low table to sit at, sleeping area, and enough space for a small group to rest in, but there wasn¡¯t really anything that marked it as hers. Really, her second home with the poisoner¡¯s garden had much more of a presence than her actual home. It was if she was so used to enjoying distant beauty, between her enjoyment of the stars and viewing artwork around the Seedling Palace, that she forgot to bring any of it into her home.

    I settled at the table while Esie splashed water on her face from a bowl in one corner and plopped a different bowl of dried fruit on the table between us as she settled down opposite of me.

    Originally, I had planned slowly lead into my questions and suspicions, but I was tired and the way she sat there smiling gently at me as if I was some unexpected amusement made it more than apparent that any subtlety I might be able to summon at the moment wasn¡¯t any match for her conversation skills.

    So I opted for blunt force instead. ¡°Are you baiting a trap with the delta or is the Lady Blue striking at a weakness we thought was covered?¡± I thought for a moment and then added, ¡°Or is the trap being strained beyond its limits?¡±

    Esie¡¯s smile froze in place for a moment before she reached for a bit of dried fruit and ate it. ¡°The delta has always had strategic importance.¡±

    An intentional trap then. A point of obvious weakness to concentrate the Lady Blue¡¯s forces so that the rest of the coastline was less likely to be targeted. Otherwise, with the wealth of different blessings available as well as the goddess¡¯s own powers, the delta likely could have been neutralized generations ago.

    However, now that trap was having unintentional consequences since the Lady Blue¡¯s forces had started to ignore the rules of the game. It was becoming a weakness in truth. Now there were generations of tribesfolk living there, devoting their lives to its defense, and any wholesale method to remove the delta¡¯s risk would likely end their lives too. Not to mention that if the river was rerouted or otherwise changed from the delta we would lose the defenses entrenched there and possibly make it a child¡¯s walk for any invading forces to charge up to the Seedling Palace.

    I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if originally monsters had been allowed through the defenses while a token resistance was raised to give the Lady Blue a sense progress was being made, but that now monsters that hadn¡¯t been selected were forcing their way up the river.

    The thing that made the delta such an enticing trap for the Lady Blue, its proximity and connection to the First Shore Lake and the Seedling Palace, was now twisting it into a long term trap for us. We couldn¡¯t abandon it, but neither could we keep adequately defending it.

    ¡°Why are you testing the others in the meeting? Why would the High Priestess allow that? I doubt you had them all come just as a front so that Juniper¡¯s mother felt like she was being listened to.¡±

    ¡°Appeasing people can have powerful results.¡± Esie leaned forward and rested her chin on her palm. ¡°But what makes you think I was testing them?¡±

    I glowered at her. ¡°It seems to be something of a hobby of yours.¡±

    She lifted her eyebrows. ¡°Not a habit?¡±

    My glower intensified. ¡°It¡¯s too intentional for that.¡±

    ¡°I do like to learn things.¡± She shrugged one shoulder. ¡°More people made for more insights.¡±

    ¡°But why were you even leading the meeting? The Lady of Calm Waters might have influence but you¡¯re not a sect head or second.¡±

    Esie sat back and chuckled. ¡°Not everyone likes to be in charge and I¡¯ve found others appreciate my ability to keep a meeting from stagnating.¡±

    I didn¡¯t doubt that there was more to it than that. Esie might be able to pull people¡¯s focus to her and keep a conversation moving, but there was likely something more to it. Something that had to do with the Lady of Calm Waters.

    ¡°Why are you getting involved? It doesn¡¯t seem like the Lady of Calm Waters has a long standing history of helping with the delta.¡±

    Esie¡¯s tone gained an edge. ¡°Our mistress has a long standing history of protecting the people of this territory. This is another facet of that.¡±

    I made a mental note of her word choice. That the Lady of Calm Waters protected the people¡ªnot the goddess or Her territory. That held some significance I could feel but that I wasn¡¯t entirely sure of the meaning yet.

    I crossed my arms. ¡°Fine, but this is still new.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps.¡± Esie considered and then asked, ¡°Not going to ask why I involved you in the meeting?¡±

    It was my turn to shrug and pretend like I saying more than I was. ¡°You want me to involve Juniper.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s not forget your powers of observation and the fact that you were directly involved with the discovery of what was going on the fight on the southern shore.¡±

    Flattery. I wouldn¡¯t fall for it. ¡°You want my thoughts? Then tell me why the High Priestess is already involved.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d ignore the favor?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d ask for information to provide you my best answer.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s worried about the delta like the rest of us.¡±

    That was a partial answer at best, but I doubted I get a clearer one from her. So I gave my own incomplete answer. ¡°I¡¯ll give my report on the meeting in two days. I have things I need to think on.¡±

    Esie didn¡¯t stop me as I left her home. All in all, I had confirmed some things and was still in the dark about others. She could have my report after I tried to confirm a few more things.

 Schedule Change Reminder

    Hello Everyone! This is a reminder that there will be no new chapter posted today for Path of the Whisper Woman. The next chapter (Book 5 - Chapter 24) will be posted on Sunday, September 8th, by 9:30 PM CST, and Sundays will continue to be the post day for the following chapters. My goal for the change is to get you all the chapters on time, as promised, rather than continuing to have to post notices about delayed chapters, so you all can enjoy the story uninterrupted and I can settle into a new routine instead of trying to resurrect a broken one.

    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Thank you all again for your patience with me and thank you for reading! I hope you continue to enjoy Path of the Whisper Woman while also, perhaps, enjoying another story on Wednesdays! If you have any recommendations for stories you think others might like if they like this one feel free to share in the comments. :)

 Book 5 - Ch. 24: Cleansing

    Juniper woke up when I slipped into our record room. I had made sure not to disturb any of the piles in room, and there was no need for me to bring a light to see by, but she must have sensed my movement regardless.

    She rolled over on her bedroll and met my gaze. A long, tense moment unraveled between us as I arrived back in our room in the middle of the night for the second night in a row. The possibilities for what I could have been doing were slim. Likely she thought I been given some secret spying mission when Rivon had insisted on splitting us up after the declaration ceremony or that I was keeping some other training secret from her. Neither of which was far from the truth.

    Juniper sat up and broke the silence we had mostly been operating under since we joined the sect. ¡°Anything I should know about?¡±

    My inclination was to keep withholding what I knew about the fighting in the delta from Juniper, but I also couldn¡¯t deny that she was my best source of information about the situation there. What she knew would be years out of date, but between what I had learned and her history I figured we could make an educated guess about the situation so I could be more prepared for my final report to Esie if I did fill her in.

    The trouble was I wasn¡¯t simply keeping the information to myself because I liked keeping my own counsel. Well, not entirely. But I also wasn¡¯t sure if the information about the delta and her mother¡¯s request would finally pull Juniper out the depressive fog she¡¯d been under since she lost her willpower in the woodlands or if it would be the final pressure point to pull her all the way under. If I knew that she¡¯d be chosen to go help, it¡¯d be easier to break the news because then we¡¯d have something to work toward, an action we could take, rather than being caught in limbo.

    As it was, all I had was a few handfuls of real information and my own conjunctures to actually share, and any of it could wreck havoc on Juniper. I wasn¡¯t built for this. Esie might want me to pull in Juniper rather than the more eye catching action of a whisper woman pulling her into a private conversation, but I really didn¡¯t want to talk to Juniper about her home. I knew how painful old longings could be.

    ¡°Why are you just staring at me?¡± she pressed.

    I broke eye contact by pretending to be busy preparing to go to sleep. ¡°You¡¯re talkative tonight.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re avoiding the question.¡± Apparently, Juniper had decided bluntness was her weapon of choice for the night. I couldn¡¯t blame her when I had done the same to Esie not even a quarter of an hour before.

    I shrugged a shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s late and there¡¯s not much to say. Esie had me doing extra training.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s more to it than that. If that was all you¡¯d have said so right away so I wouldn¡¯t keep asking questions.¡±

    I silently cursed my tiredness. That coupled with the way my mind kept trying to come with scenarios for how the fight in the delta could play out, possible motives for everyone involved in the meeting and what might have gone unsaid, the pros and cons of telling Juniper about it all¡­I didn¡¯t have the brainpower or patience to handle myself as I normally would. Nor did it help that for every interaction lately I found myself having to moderate my response, not quite as willing as I used to be to use harsh words to cut a conversation short.

    The bland result ended up falling short in nearly every respect. Slow response time with predictable and easy to read answers that didn¡¯t have nearly enough heat to make the other person balk. That couldn¡¯t be allowed to stand. Not if I ever wanted to get information out of others without them getting even more from me. Not if I wanted to be able to take and keep control of a conversation.

    I was becoming too used to letting Esie set the flow of our conversations even when I was trying to drag information out of her by brute force and now Juniper was calling out my weak excuses. Granted, she had the spine to do so in the past, but I doubted she had suddenly regained all her confidence in the course of a few hours.

    Rather my half of the conversation was so lackluster that even when she was doubting herself into oblivion she felt no threat at calling my bluff.

    That was enough to tempt me toward insults or frigid silence. Something to put her back in her place without giving any information away.

    Except tearing Juniper down even further didn¡¯t sit right in my gut, nor would it be smart given that she was only seedling from our cohort to join the Hundred Eyes sect with me. I could only do so much alone, even if I liked to pretend otherwise.

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    And she¡¯d likely learn everything pertinent about the delta eventually.

    I was tired of being uncertain. Tired of stepping carefully in this conversation and that¡ªof second guessing myself because I wasn¡¯t sure what Esie and the Lady of Calm Waters were up to. Because I didn¡¯t want to bring even more attention my way.

    But, storms, I got a lot more done when I wasn¡¯t passive. Dawnli had already said they didn¡¯t plan to treat me as a normal recruit so I needed to stop acting like I was going to rise in the ranks by acting like one. Esie likely wasn¡¯t going to tell me any of her secrets plans unless I already discovered some of the secret myself, and if Ingrasia was the kind of whisper woman who¡¯d be put off by my ability to¡­escalate things I doubted she would have taken me on as an apprentice in the first place.

    Prevna wasn¡¯t with me but that didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t take risks just because she wasn¡¯t with me to remind me when I was going too far. At best, she was a whisper away if I really needed to check in and at worst, I¡¯d likely be the one most hurt by whatever plan I acted on.

    I could gather information, sure, and think things through, there was no harm in that, but it did me no good to continually go around in circles worrying over the same things, especially when there wasn¡¯t any more information to be had. Rawley would have been chastising me for not acting when preparations had been complete. There were a few things I¡¯d still like to confirm, but they weren¡¯t so vital that I had to sit on my hands until I got what I wanted.

    I wasn¡¯t helping Juniper by shielding her from the information. At best I was delaying the inevitable¡ªwhich meant it was best to tell her now, on my terms, rather than allowing someone else to do it.

    Juniper stared up at me in surprise as I stood up suddenly. I crossed my arms. ¡°Can you shadow walk to the lakeside meeting point?¡±

    She looked insulted. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Then let¡¯s go.¡± I ignored her discomfort and strode back out of the room.

    Juniper was quick to follow me despite her confusion.

    Back when we had been hunting the crawler on the shore, Juniper had me ¡°cleanse¡± myself before she pledged her formal support to help me complete the mission. I placed little stock in the notion of misfortune and fortune being things that could cling to a person, but Juniper seemed to believe in it and I figured a cleanse could put her in a better frame of mind. Besides, if she did have some cloud of misfortune from her string of difficulties, I figured it would best to get rid of it before she got involved.

    We stepped out onto the shore of First Shore Lake near where Prevna and I had met up. I pushed thoughts of that particular meeting out of my mind and led Juniper a short distance in the opposite direction Prevna and I had gone.

    Then I gestured to the lake. ¡°Will your misfortune into the water like you had me do when we were hunting the crawler and then I¡¯ll tell you what you want to know.¡±

    Juniper¡¯s lips pressed together as she scanned the area around us. ¡°This better not be a prank.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°I leave that sort of thing to Prevna.¡±

    She shook her head, a bit annoyed, but then still stripped and walked into the water as if it was one of the bathing pools in the Seedling Palace. I kept my focus on the water in case something dangerous did happen to rise out of the depths, but everything stayed quiet.

    Juniper stayed in the water just long enough to dunk her head beneath the surface before she strode back out to put her dry clothes back on. I settled against the wall protecting the lake¡¯s edge and Juniper joined me when she was ready.

    She gave me a sidelong look. ¡°I¡¯m cleansed. What¡¯s your big secret?¡±

    I stayed silent for a long moment as I watched the moonlight shine down onto the lake. It stretched to the horizon and could hide an untold number of enemies if they really did break through the delta.

    Rather than answering her question right away I asked my own question that had been bothering me. ¡°You can summon fresh water right? Is that why the fish monsters bloat and die when you catch them in a water sphere?¡±

    Juniper was miffed that I avoided her question again but she still answered me, ¡°Yes. We think the pearl might also help speed up or strengthen that as well. Most fish can¡¯t handle the different types of water.¡±

    I frowned. ¡°But then why do your people defend the delta so strongly? Wouldn¡¯t the fresh water in the lake and river kill off the Lady Blue¡¯s monsters?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Juniper crossed her arms. ¡°It would kill a decent chunk, but without the pearl¡¯s power some would still make it to this shore¡ªand the Lady Blue¡¯s monsters have been hiding clutches in the delta. It has a mix of fresh and saltwater. With each generation we don¡¯t exterminate they get more resistant to the fresh water effects as they acclimate to it.¡±

    I held in a sigh. That was another important piece of information to factor into the rest of the situation.

    ¡°So?¡± Juniper looked at me expectantly.

    I gave one last moment¡¯s thought to considering keeping it all a secret before I remembered how much I would hate to be kept ignorant.

    So I told her about the fighting in the delta, her mother¡¯s plea, and Esie¡¯s involvement of the High Priestess. I didn¡¯t tell her all of my speculations yet, but I did throw in the tidbit of Kaylan offering to mentor me. Perhaps the offer would extend to Juniper if I decided to take the lazy sentry up on it.

    Juniper was silent as she processed everything I said. She just stared out at the lake as if it held all the answers. Perhaps things would have been simpler if it did.

    Finally, she turned gleaming eyes on me. ¡°She asked for me?¡±

    I knew she meant her mother and something knifed its way up under my ribs, but I ignored the pain. ¡°She did.¡±

    Juniper let her head fall back against the wall, brushed a hand over the pearl on her forehead. ¡°I¡­storms. I need to think.¡±

    I wanted to go to sleep but I stood there as she thought about the implications of it all. Better to have her honest reaction now than a more filtered one later. But I didn¡¯t get the answers I wanted. Not right away. The night got deeper and deeper as Juniper kept her own council.

 Book 5 - Ch. 25: Prejudiced Pride

    ¡°Can you introduce me to Esie?¡± Juniper asked. ¡°She seems to be the central knot here in the Seedling Palace.¡±

    I could, but I wasn¡¯t sure I should. It was true that Esie had positioned herself as the contact point for the various people involved with the delta, but she was hardly the most natural choice for that role¡ªunless the Lady of Calm Waters really did have more of a direct influence in the delta than I originally assumed. I wanted to trust Esie, but I was also still resistant to giving her more control. Introducing Juniper to her felt like breaking an invisible barrier; one that once broken, Esie wouldn¡¯t hesitate to pass by any time she might have a use for Juniper in the future.

    Of course, Esie could always reach out to Juniper on her own, or vice versa, but that would be more likely to draw attention and result in less initial trust between them. My introduction would ease the pressure, such as it was.

    Between Juniper¡¯s connections and power, however, it made much more sense for her to be directly involved than hear everything secondhand from me¡ªand that meant introducing her to Esie.

    I clenched my jaw. I had just decided to be less passive. There was no reason not to have them meet other than my misgivings, and there wasn¡¯t much I could do about those with the Lady of Calm Waters as my patron and the lack of information.

    Juniper could make her own decisions. I had no desire to become the looming presence blocking the tent entrance and glaring her into submission just because I thought I knew best.

    I nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll introduce you. I¡¯m supposed to give her a report in two days. Can you wait that long?¡±

    She picked at her pant leg before catching herself and pressing her hand flat. ¡°I¡¯ll have to.¡±

    I watched her out of the corner of my eye. I had expected more tears or ranting about how she was right, that she was going to protect her tribe and kill fish¡­even simple distress at the fighting her people were going through, and there was hints of that, but, more than that, over the past hour or so Juniper seemed to have gained resolve.

    Her spine had straightened, her chin lifted, and her gaze had cleared of doubt. Her mother had asked for her and the pearl, and now, simple as that, she was able to settle back into her original goal she had clung to ever since leaving her tribe. Something absurd and hopeless had become a real possibility. She could return to her tribe despite her position as a Sapling in the Seedling Palace.

    I still had my concerns about whether the situation would break her in the end, but I held my tongue. Seeing Juniper stand with confidence again was a victory in itself.

    We left the lake shore and with dawn only an hour or two away, I was finally able to sleep. I wasn¡¯t sure if Juniper slept or lay awake turning over everything I had told her in her mind, but either way it was true that we had a late start to our organizational work that morning.

    - -

    Trouble started brewing after Juniper and me started our exercises in Ingrasia¡¯s training grounds in the afternoon.

    Ziek got us started on our warm up routine before she was waved over by another instructor. I could tell that she didn¡¯t like having our training session interrupted but she also wasn¡¯t rude enough to ignore the other whisper woman. She promised she¡¯d back in a minute with a tight smile and I felt the change in the air as soon as she turned her back on us.

    Over the past week or so, there had been a small, but increasingly bitter, group among the other Hundred Eye seedlings that didn¡¯t like that Juniper and I had secured apprentice spots with Ingrasia without trying. They thought that because they had been failing to get her attention for a year or more that they were more qualified.

    I had been content to ignore them and Juniper had followed my lead. I didn¡¯t care one way or the other yet about being Ingrasia¡¯s apprentice, though the perks of having my mentor ban lifted and a training plan were nice. They could have their one sided grudge and I could be amused by how twisted with frustration the bullies¡¯ faces got when we ignored their poor attempts to intimidate us. Really, I was somewhat tempted to teach them how to make a snide comment actually hurt, but they weren¡¯t worth the effort.

    Not until today. Normally, they had focused their comments and other attempts to embarrass us on me, I think because they didn¡¯t like all the rumors surrounding me, but this time they shifted their efforts onto Juniper. They had learned about her struggles with shadow walking and flying on the storm birds and, after witnessing the work she had to do with her sling, they had more than enough material to try to drown her in insults.

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    ¡°Can¡¯t fly without crying¡ªwe don¡¯t need a coward in our sect!¡±

    ¡°Do you think she¡¯ll get stuck in the shadow paths next time? Storms, I hope so, since it¡¯s where she belongs.¡±

    ¡°She can¡¯t do anything right! Have you ever seen her hit her target?¡±

    Poor insults, that were broad and could have applied to almost anyone if a few words were swapped out, but insults nevertheless. Juniper kept herself as impassive as she could, but between the way she shifted to face away from the idiots and her clenched jaw I knew they were affecting her. A glance in Ziek¡¯s direction showed that the other instructor wasn¡¯t letting her go any time soon. If the instructor was involved in this little display too¡­well, I was sure I could think of something.

    As it was I had three idiots to put in their place. Juniper had finally gained a bit of confidence, I didn¡¯t need them shattering it, and Juniper didn¡¯t look like she was about to fight back. I wasn¡¯t sure if she was trying to keep to our previous strategy or if she couldn¡¯t think of anything to refute their claims. Either way I wasn¡¯t about to let this new line of attack continue.

    I was tired of biting my tongue. These three idiots had nothing to do the intrigue surrounding the delta nor did I have any place for them in my future information network if they were willing to make fools of themselves because of irrational jealousy. They couldn¡¯t even wait for a more inconspicuous time to bully us, like during a group lesson.

    The three girls were pretending to stretch nearby, so they a had modicum of sense, but it lost believability when there were plenty of patches of shadow for them to warm up in away from a private lesson.

    The tallest girl was the ring leader with a bless mark splashed across her face from her jaw to the opposite temple, like a giant bruise that refused to heal. The other two didn¡¯t have visible bless marks, but one had hair as straight as the pine needles around us and the other had curls so tight they bundled around her head. Bruise, Straightlace, and Bundle. Not their actual names of course, but I could hardly be bothered to remember those.

    I leveled my fiercest glare on Straightlace who flinched back. Then I smiled. ¡°You really shouldn¡¯t say your personal concerns out loud where others can hear them. Can¡¯t do anything right? Just the other day I saw you hit you friend there during weapon practice. Better than hitting nothing right? Pity the bruise hasn¡¯t healed yet.¡±

    The other girl gaped at me before frantically trying to explain that wasn¡¯t what happened to Bruise¡ªwhose expression darkened by the second.

    Bruise snapped, ¡°This isn¡¯t¡ª¡±

    ¡°And you.¡± I focused my attention on Bundle as if Bruise hadn¡¯t even spoken. ¡°Stuck in the shadow paths? Practicing for long hours is nothing to embarrassed over. I¡¯ve seen how you avoid anything but the largest shadows, but I¡¯m sure if you ask nicely Juniper here could show you how to use the sun stretched bits.¡±

    Bruise tried again, ¡°My mark¡ª¡±

    I tapped my chin. ¡°Or perhaps it¡¯s like you said: we don¡¯t need cowards.¡± I finally turned my glower onto Bruise whose protests about her bless mark died on her tongue. ¡°Cowards who can¡¯t even give a direct challenge. Perhaps you can use this as an example in the future: fight me, here and now, and I¡¯ll show you why Ingrasia chose us and never gave you a second glance.¡±

    Oh, I knew I wasn¡¯t the best fighter, not by a long shot even in our cohort. Just like I knew Ingrasia had taken us on due to the Sect Leader¡¯s intervention, first and foremost, but those things didn¡¯t matter. Bruise always did poorly during practice bouts in the group lessons. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if she was one of the people Ingrasia had been referring to when she criticized those in the sect that neglected physical conditioning in favor of solely information gathering.

    Bruise took a moment to gather herself before she lifted her nose in the air. ¡°As if I need to lower myself to your level.¡±

    I snorted and gestured toward Ziek. ¡°In case you missed it, this is exactly what Ingrasia expects out of her apprentices.¡±

    Bruise opened her mouth, closed it, huffed, and then strode away with her lackeys in tow. I doubted that would be the last of their inane tactics, but at least we likely wouldn¡¯t need to deal with their drivel for the rest of the day.

    And there was a part of me that was deeply satisfied I had driven them away. That I hadn¡¯t tried to ignore them again or held myself back from twisting their words and glaring them into submission.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±

    I glanced over at Juniper only to find a complicated expression on her face. Two parts frustration, one part embarrassment, and one part relief. Apparently, she wasn¡¯t sure what to think about the fact that I had defended her¡ªand the more I thought about it the more it unsettled me. I wasn¡¯t used to feeling protective about anyone but Prevna, and I didn¡¯t like the way this bout had snuck up on me.

    It made the old instinct to tear apart the connection slither around in my chest, but I knew how terrible of an idea that would be. So, instead, I caught that instinct in a large sack, hog tied it shut, and chalked the protective feeling up to Juniper being the only other seedling from the cohort to join the sect without looking at it too closely.

    I shrugged one shoulder and went back to my warm ups. ¡°They were annoying.¡±

    She watched me for a long moment before sighing and resuming her exercises as well. I could tell she had something else she wanted to say, but she kept to herself and it wasn¡¯t long after that Ziek freed herself from the other whisper woman so she could continue our lesson.

 Book 5 - Ch. 26: A Short Mystery

    Ground Speech was an odd language. It used the back of the throat to make some guttural noises, but all the words were rounded. There was very little harshness to the things we could say and it made me wonder if a fight in Azabel¡¯s territory sounded more like a creek babbling rather than a storm clashing. They also had less characters to memorize which felt like they had given up halfway through when it came to discovering the sounds they could use.

    Ingrasia spoke it fluently. Ground Speech flowed from her easily, all sweet sounds that slipped into each other so it was difficult to tell where one word began and another ended, with only the occasional guttural emphasis from the back of her throat to give the foreign words substance.

    Juniper and I were nowhere close to that level as we tried to fit our mouths around the odd sounds without warping them. The characters themselves were simple for me to memorize, but Juniper had little bit more trouble, likely because she didn¡¯t the extra years of experience I had with written language. However, I still struggled to believe Ingrasia when she said spoke about how extensive writing was in the eastern territory. Rather than just using it for labels and reports, they turned it into an artwork¡ªfrom how it was written to the stories they told. She said that writing was like an entirely new language and she had struggled to decipher it when she came across it even more so than parsing through records that used the ancient dialect. I thought keeping our vocal tradition of storytelling was better to impart meaning and intent to the audience. Tone was difficult to mistake while a word on a scroll couldn¡¯t indicate how it might be spoken.

    We tried to ask Ingrasia more about her time in Azabel¡¯s territory since she had obviously been there, but she only gave us hints, like when she mentioned their extensive writing. Otherwise, she said we would learn more when it wouldn¡¯t distract us from the basics.

    Nor did we learn what her blessing was, though she was amused when we guessed that it prevented her from losing her balance given how much she liked to perch on the edge of long drops. That was apparently just the result of life long practice and preference. She did say she¡¯d give us a reward if we figured it out on our own, but the simple solution of asking Ziek also fell flat. She refused to give us even a hint, though she did give us an encouraging smile, and said it was a mystery all of Ingrasia¡¯s apprentices were tasked to learn.

    I wasn¡¯t enthused to have another mystery put on my plate, especially when I still wasn¡¯t sure what Esie¡¯s blessing was either. But I also couldn¡¯t help but admire them a little for the secrecy. After all, I would have preferred to keep my own blessing secret longer but with how nosy whisper women could be, such a feat was difficult to maintain. Likely there whisper women who knew and would be willing to tell me about either of their blessings, if I could find them and was willing to pay whatever price they wanted for the information.

    During our Ground Speech lesson, we gained another possible source of information. One of Ingrasia¡¯s other apprentices, returned from a mission. She had premature gray, wavy hair, wide hips and bust, and a laugh that made others want to laugh with her. She twirled as she approached us, arms held wide.

    ¡°Miss me?¡±

    ¡°Ana.¡± Ingrasia grinned as she jumped down from her perch. ¡°You were supposed to be here days ago.¡±

    Ana stopped just short of our mentor and raised her eyebrows. ¡°Better late than early, right?¡±

    ¡°You might have learned that lesson a little too well,¡± Ingrasia chided, though she was still smiling as she said it.

    Ana laughed. ¡°It is one of my favorites.¡± Her attention turned to Juniper and me. ¡°Did you finally decide on some replacements for Ziek and me?¡±

    ¡°Not replacements, but additions to the roster. I¡¯m not bored of you two yet.¡± Juniper and I stood as Ingrasia gestured at us. ¡°Meet Gimley and Juniper, our fresh faced recruits.¡±

    Quicker than I could blink, I found myself swept up in a hug and then put down again before I could protest. Juniper got the same treatment.

    ¡°Lovely to meet you,¡± Ana said. ¡°I¡¯m Anastasis, but call me Ana¡ªit¡¯s simpler on the tongue. Have you met the others yet?¡±

    ¡°Bell¡¯s still on her mission, but Ziek¡¯s been helping with their lessons. I¡¯ll have you step in to help too.¡±

    Ana pretended to pout. ¡°No rest for the weary, I see.¡± Then her seemingly ever present smile slipped back onto her face. ¡°We¡¯ll have fun together. I¡¯m sure of it.¡±

    Juniper found her words quicker than I did. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you.¡±

    Ana¡¯s smile widened. ¡°And I you.¡±

    Ingrasia kept the small talk from spiraling further as she focused on Juniper and me. ¡°Keep practicing. I¡¯ll be back soon.¡± She turned back to Ana. ¡°Tell me how your mission went.¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    They strode away to a shadow and stepped through it, likely to a more secluded spot than the training yard though I wished I could listen in on what they had to say. Ana¡¯s mission could have been anything from a standard one given to all new whisper women in the sect to something entirely more interesting and worthy of secrecy.

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    Just like it was interesting that of Ingrasia¡¯s apprentices, two were new whisper women and, from what I had gathered, the one we hadn¡¯t met was an older Sapling and would likely earn her place among the whisper women sooner than later. Most whisper women didn¡¯t hold onto the mentor/apprentice dynamic that long, but despite how Ingrasia came across at first she seemed to take her duties as a mentor seriously and both apprentices we met so far didn¡¯t seem to mind their continued position as apprentices despite no longer being seedlings.

    It made me wonder about Dawnli and Rivon¡¯s motives for placing us with Ingrasia. Had they been worried that soon she wouldn¡¯t have apprentices to occupy her time? And why would they care if she was busy or not?

    I decided it was past time I used my resources out the sect to learn more, even if I¡¯d have preferred to discover everything on my own. There were too many moving parts and secrets for me to parse through it all quickly, and it was becoming apparent that if I wanted more answers than questions, I¡¯d have to adjust my methods for obtaining information. Mishtaw might not have all the answers, but she¡¯d be likely to know things we didn¡¯t, or at least have a different perspective about everything that was going on.

    Juniper and I finished our language lesson and then I sent a whisper on the wind to Mishtaw. She responded quicker than I expected and said I should meet her at her home after the evening meal. I had half hoped that she might have been out on another relic inspection already, but her message said I had reached her just in time since she would be leaving in the morning.

    I told Juniper where I was going but I hinted it¡¯d be best if I went on my own and she seemed to have her own plans. I wasn¡¯t sure if my mind was being overactive with all my suspicions about what was going on in my sect and among my mentors, but it seemed like Juniper agreed to us splitting up a little too readily. I was tempted to follow her as she hurried off, but Mishtaw only had so much time and I didn¡¯t want to lose my chance to talk to her.

    It was just her and I when we settled down at the table in her home. I wasn¡¯t sure what to think when I saw that the alcove Prevna and I had slept in. We had taken our bedrolls with us, obviously, so there was little left in that corner, but Mishtaw had also neglected to make use of the new space. It looked like I could put my bedroll down and sleep there as if nothing had happened.

    Mishtaw gave me one of her direct looks. ¡°Tell me what¡¯s on your mind.¡±

    And I did. More than I ever meant to. I told her about my meeting with Dawnli and Rivon, Ingrasia¡¯s appointment as my new mentor and meeting her other apprentices. I told her about the meeting I had spied on at Esie¡¯s request and my concerns about her and the Lady of Calm Waters, but how I wanted to use all the resources I had. I told her about Juniper and what I knew of the situation in the delta. The words just poured out in a way they never had and I hated it even as there was some relief to get all the suspicions and whirling thoughts out of my head. Mishtaw was someone I could trust to give me a direct answer, at least.

    ¡°Now I see why you wanted to speak with me.¡± Mishtaw drummed her fingers on the table, once. ¡°Let¡¯s start with your new mentor: Ingrasia. She¡¯s known as the Infiltrator. She¡¯s completed more missions in the eastern territory than any other living whisper woman. From what I understand, she¡¯s taken a break from those missions for the past five years or so in order to raise up a new crop of whisper women who can match her skill in that area. If you¡¯ve been placed under her then they are planning to use you across the border.¡±

    ¡°Do you know what her blessing is?¡±

    ¡°Language.¡±

    I blinked. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Her blessing gives her the ability to understand and speak any language or dialect like a native. We worked together a couple times when there was a relic I couldn¡¯t reach because the locals and I had trouble understanding each other. With the animosity between the two territories there hasn¡¯t been much of an opportunity to learn the language over there and that has hindered our ability to infiltrate and gather information. She was able to bypass that difficulty and has since taught the language to others, though she is still the most fluent.¡±

    It made sense, though I hadn¡¯t expected her skill with Ground Speech to come from her blessing. It also made me wonder if the Envoys from Azabel¡¯s territory had a similar method to learn our language or if their jewelry couldn¡¯t allow them to understand another language at a moment¡¯s notice. From what little I had seen their trinkets helped more with physical enhancements.

    Mishtaw added, ¡°From what I¡¯ve seen and heard, she¡¯s a fair mentor who treats her apprentices well. I don¡¯t know as much about the inner workings of the Hundred Eyes sect, but my guess would be that the sect head and second don¡¯t appreciate how much they are forced to depend on her for their intelligence from the east¡ªand that those she trains tend to hold a strong measure of loyalty to her rather than simply to the sect.¡±

    Her expression darkened as she moved on her next point. ¡°I¡¯ve already warned you about Esie and your patron. They have their own agenda that¡¯s often more closely guarded than even most top Hundred Eye secrets. If they are comfortable involving¡­certain creatures in their plots than there is little they¡¯d likely shy away from. If the High Priestess is also involved, then I can only advise you to be as careful as possible despite your tendency to take risks.¡±

    I pressed, ¡°Why do you think they are interested in the delta? Or, at least, why would they have me listen in on the meeting?¡±

    Mishtaw considered. ¡°It might be that they want a new perspective like they stated or even an outside judge who see the whole picture since they aren¡¯t directly involved. But I think it¡¯s just as likely that they want you invested in the delta¡ªin part to bring Juniper in and also so they can more easily call on you if something dangerous arises so they can curb their losses.¡±

    That matched my own worries, though I wished Mishtaw had some concrete bit of information I could use. But with how tight-lipped Esie could be when it came to something she didn¡¯t want to discuss or draw attention to, I knew it had been a long shot. As it was, talking things out with Mishtaw helped me feel more settled, even if I didn¡¯t get all the answers I wanted.

    ¡°Gimley?¡± Mishtaw continued when she saw she had my attention. ¡°Tell Ingrasia about Kaylan¡¯s offer. It could be genuine or it could another why to pull you into Esie¡¯s circle¡ªeither way it¡¯ll be best to keep Ingrasia informed than hiding it behind her back.¡±

    I nodded, though I wasn¡¯t sure if I¡¯d actually tell Ingrasia about the offer yet. I was glad Mishtaw trusted at least one of my other mentors, but it felt odd to be open with someone I had barely known for a week. Perhaps, though, I could get past the discomfort like I had with Juniper.

    My conversation with Mishtaw didn¡¯t last much longer after that. She wanted to wake up early for her mission in the morning and I wasn¡¯t willing to vomit out any more words, though I was glad to have gotten her insight.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 27

    Hi Everyone, this chapter is going to be delayed. My plan is to have it out by tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. I would have had it out to you on time, but unfortunately there''s something that still doesn''t feel quite right about what I have written and I want to make sure it works for the story going forward. I''m not sure if I''m overthinking one part of the story or not, but I want to get that part more settled before I post the chapter and make the chapter official, if that makes sense. Thanks for your patience and for reading! I enjoy seeing your comments every week and hopefully you''ll enjoy the chapter too once I get it posted.

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 Book 5 - Ch. 27: The Report

    Juniper and I met Esie at her second home in the Scales sect. She was inspecting a bowl of purple liquid when we arrived. Based on the tools and little bits of plant matter placed around her, she had just finished making a new poison. She held up a hand to stall us as she finished swirling the liquid around before she poured it into a clay vial. Once that was stoppered and set aside in a protected spot, Esie turned her attention on us.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad we could meet. Gimley, I¡¯m interested to hear your report but first: introductions?¡±

    I had debated about whether to give Esie forewarning about introducing Juniper to her, and in the end I had decided that a surprise might do more harm than good. Mishtaw had agreed, though she also advised not to give the warning too far in advance so Esie would have less time to plan. Juniper was expecting a proper introduction, however, so springing her on Esie also wouldn¡¯t have been ideal when we could send whispers on the wind.

    I introduced them to each other and tried to hope I wasn¡¯t making a mistake. Given the nature of the current conflict and both of their roles in connection to it, the introduction was likely to have happened one way or another.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure Gimley has already filled you in on the pertinent details, but I¡¯d be happy to answer any questions you might have.¡± Esie smiled at Juniper before she turned to me. ¡°Would you mind checking over our supplies? I¡¯ll let you know when I¡¯m ready for your report.¡±

    ¡°Of course. See you soon.¡± I fought the desire to glare at her as I turned on my heel and headed for the storage dome. I had suspected as well that one or the other would request to speak alone and I wasn¡¯t in a position where I had any power to deny it. Nor would glaring help my relationship with either of them.

    The supplies didn¡¯t need checked and they provided only a short lived distraction until I recalled the mixture Esie had been making when we arrived. If she hadn¡¯t already updated her records, I¡¯d likely be able to figure out what she had used¡ªand from there deduce what she had made. Perhaps it would be nothing of note or perhaps it¡¯d be something she hadn¡¯t wanted me to see. More likely, however, given the way Esie¡¯s mind worked, she had timed the finishing of her poison with our arrival so I would see it and she could accomplish multiple things at once: meet Juniper and form a connection with her while she counted on me to use my knowledge and familiarity with this place to figure out the poison. With Esie a distraction was rarely just a distraction.

    Part of me was tempted to not look into the poison out of simple spite, but curiosity won out. I knew the poison wasn¡¯t one she or Rawley had taught me before. And having more knowledge was often better than having less.

    So I collected her records and worked my way through her supplies. It was tedious work, but based on the tools I had seen and the bits of plant matter I could safely ignore a large chunk of her inventory. It helped to that I could compare my memory of the storage dome to the little changes that she might have made by using the space. It wasn¡¯t a part of my memory tent I had bothered to use in a long while, but I was glad I hadn¡¯t dismissed my most recent memory of the dome to make room for something new.

    There were a handful of things I had to double check, just in case she had used them without leaving any clues, and my thoroughness yielded results. She had used two minerals to enhance the effectiveness of her poison, and when I put together the ingredients and what they likely did my blood ran cold.

    I didn¡¯t wait for her to summon me, didn¡¯t wait for Juniper¡¯s conversation with her finish. What she was doing could put us all at risk.

    I dashed out of the storage dome to where they were both still settled in Esie¡¯s work area. I pointed an accusatory finger at the vial of purple liquid, glower in full force.

    ¡°Why are you stepping into the goddess¡¯s domain?¡±

    Juniper paled and leaned away from Esie even as the whisper woman looked up at me calmly. Esie observed, ¡°You figured out the potion already. Perhaps I really should have you organize the ingredients since your memory seems to better than mine.¡±

    I refused to be drawn off topic. ¡°Why are you stepping into the goddess¡¯s domain? You aren¡¯t a Peacekeeper. You don¡¯t have the authority.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t a poison to slow or sleep; it was a poison to kill, pure and simple. Based on the ingredients she had mixed together, it was fast acting and gruesome. The victim¡¯s blood would stop clotting and none of my knowledge could come up with answer to stop the bleed, except for somehow purging the body of the poison before they bled out.

    ¡°Why do you assume I¡¯d be using it on a person? The goddess doesn¡¯t care if we kill the Lady Blue¡¯s minions.¡±

    ¡°Is that what it¡¯s for?¡± I challenged.

    Perhaps it could have been, but there was two things that prevented me believing the poison was for such a convenient target. For one, the poison likely had to be ingested for it to work and I didn¡¯t see how she was going to get one of the Lady Blue¡¯s soldiers to drink it. The other reason was the amount. Even if she poured it on the ground for a Shore Eater to consume its effects would be lessened on a creature of that size and if the amount was split it¡¯d likely only be useful against two or three fish soldiers. That wasn¡¯t enough to put anything close to a dent in the horde overwhelming the delta.

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    ¡°It would help stop the advance.¡± Esie smiled at Juniper. ¡°Let¡¯s finish this up later. It seems my conversation with Gimley needs to begin earlier than anticipated.¡±

    Juniper set her shoulders back and rose to her feet. ¡°I¡¯ll look forward to fulfilling my responsibilities.¡±

    My eyes narrowed at that, but I kept my focus on Esie as Juniper walked away. I could pry into what she meant later.

    Esie picked up the vial and placed it on the ground between us. I stayed standing.

    Then, for the first time I could remember, Esie¡¯s expression settled into something decidedly grim. ¡°Every year I make this poison and, when its effectiveness wanes, I make it again. Perhaps, in time, you will make it in my place. Perhaps there will no longer be a need, but the time has come for you learn about it.¡±

    She studied me for a long moment before continuing, ¡°Everyone always says that our mistress doesn¡¯t have room for  another cut.

    That¡¯s not precisely true.¡± Esie touched her neck. ¡°She could make another cut, but it¡¯d likely be fatal. This,¡± Esie touched the vial again, ¡°would assure that.¡±

    I sank down to the ground. ¡°Why would you want that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± Esie snapped. Then she sighed and her tone shifted something less defensive, but more tired. ¡°She requests it. Every year. She says that she is old and in pain, and that if she is going to make the final cut it might as well be quick and count for something. Our mistress means to become a martyr if necessary.¡±

    I could only stare at her as my mind spun. Esie seemed to take my silence as permission to ruthlessly continue on.

    ¡°You don¡¯t trust us. That¡¯s to be expected with how we¡¯ve treated you. I can¡¯t promise that will change. What I can promise is that the Lady of Calm Waters will do everything she can to protect the people of this territory and I will do everything I can to help her achieve her ideals. We chose you because you also care.¡±

    ¡°I care about myself.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve taken a killing blow for another, so they would be spared.¡±

    ¡°I knew I wouldn¡¯t die.¡±

    ¡°Most would still struggle to step in harm¡¯s way knowing that.¡± Esie watched me for another tense moment before she sighed and set the vial back to the side. ¡°But my goal is to prevent the Lady of Calm Waters or you from taking such drastic action. More work can be done with those that haven¡¯t moved on to the Silver Forest.¡±

    I could believe she wanted to protect the Lady of Calm Waters, but I wasn¡¯t convinced she was as concerned with myself. Especially, if the choice came down between the two of us.

    The silence stretched before my mentor decided to move onto the main reason I had visited her.

    ¡°Your report,¡± Esie commanded.

    My mind was still reeling from what I had just learned, but I mentally swept up everything Esie had just told me and put it aside in a vial in my memory tent. I couldn¡¯t do anything about the poison at the moment unless I broke the vial¡ªand even if I did that, with the supplies she had, Esie could easily make another dose.

    I didn¡¯t like the situation and liked even less that it threw my understanding of Esie and the Lady of Calm Waters further off balance. Plans within plans and a drastic last resort that seemed to ignore all that logic didn¡¯t seem to work well together.

    Still, I was used to forcing myself to focus, so after I mentally swept aside my shock and confusion, I gave my report.

    ¡°You had the meeting take place in the Seedling Palace so the High Priestess and I could observe it. You also wanted to make sure that Juniper¡¯s mother thought she was getting an official hearing, though most of the whisper women in the meeting didn¡¯t have the rank to make decisions for their sect. However, you did cover all of the sects except for Caretakers, who likely wouldn¡¯t have a role to play in the delta regardless, and you did bring in whisper women whose knowledge was relevant to the situation. From what I could tell it looked like you were taking a two pronged approach: one via the whisper women in the meeting to get their expertise and insight, and one via the High Priestess so she could hear firsthand how dire things are in the delta.¡±

    ¡°And you?¡± Esie asked.

    ¡°You brought me in so I could Juniper and to determine if I thought the situation was similar to the one I experienced one the shore.¡±

    She raised her eyebrows. ¡°Is it?¡±

    I shrugged one shoulder. ¡°It could be. The Lady Blue has soldiers to spare, but I don¡¯t have enough information to guess what she might be trying to distract us from if that¡¯s the case, and the fish in the delta seem to pressing for a harder fight than the hit and run tactics used on the shore.¡±

    Esie nodded. ¡°It could be two concurrent plans being enacted or more.¡±

    ¡°That wouldn¡¯t surprise me. Just like it doesn¡¯t surprise me that you and the Lady of Calm Waters seem to be trying to gain influence by sticking yourselves in the middle of the fight.¡±

    Esie smiled at my accusation, though it didn¡¯t have the warmth of her regular smiles. ¡°You caught us. Our mistress¡¯s opinions have weight, but as a small faction her influence as been waning. In years past, you wouldn¡¯t have heard anyone dare suggest that her hold over the sea creatures could be waning like you did in the meeting.¡±

    Her easy acceptance of my accusation did nothing to assuage my suspicions. If anything, it only inflamed them. Like as not, there was something more going on with their involvement that I hadn¡¯t managed to pinpoint yet. Still, I kept my mouth shut about that. Accusing Esie more wouldn¡¯t get me any closer the the info she was keeping to herself.

    ¡°So what do you want me to do now?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯ve involved Juniper and given you my thoughts. I don¡¯t much else to do with the delta.¡±

    Esie tilted her head slightly to the side. ¡°I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll think of something.¡±

    The next day I found myself confronted by all the whisper women Esie had called on for her previous meeting. Rather than have me listen in on the outside, she stuck me right in the middle of the meeting.

 Book 5 - Ch. 28: Speculation

    The only I could say that made the situation better was that Esie had dragged Juniper into center stage with me. Rather than meeting at the Gathering Spot, we had ended up on a medium sized platform at the very top of the Scale sect¡¯s tree. It wasn¡¯t a regular platform either, made from a widened branch, but rather a thickly woven net of pine needles that only gave slightly as we stepped on it. Rather than the thick utilitarian railings of amber I was used to seeing, this platform¡¯s railing was made of filigree thin brown amber. Each strand of the railing was curved and stylized to look like pine branches stretching across a night sky. If Hattie wasn¡¯t leaning against it without a care in the world, I would have thought it might crumble under someone¡¯s weight. Esie mentioned offhand that some members of her sect liked to mediate on the goddess¡¯s past rulings and actions on similar platforms, so that they could make better judgments. They thought that being so close to so many of Her aspects, especially at night, would help them gain clarity.

    Perhaps it did, but the location certainly wasn¡¯t helping Juniper focus. Her gaze kept flicking down to the needles beneath her feet and the way they moved slightly every time she shifted. And when she wasn¡¯t focused on that her attention was drawn to the way the horizon spread out all around us with the ground far, far below. Perhaps if it had been a normal platform she would have been fine, after years of living in the Seedling Palace, but it didn¡¯t take a genius to realize she was halfway expecting the needles to give out into a deadly plummet.

    It made me realize that for all Esie was good at presenting herself like she had all the knowledge anyone would ever need, she had either overlooked Juniper¡¯s fear of heights or had underestimated the hold it had over her. Which wasn¡¯t ideal when we were being watched by six whisper women.

    That¡­flicker of protectiveness I was trying to ignore swelled to a candle flame in my chest at the panic in Juniper¡¯s eyes. Really, it was a bit cruel of the goddess to give someone with a fear of heights a bless mark given the amount of time we spent up high.

    I tried to tell myself that I wasn¡¯t responsible for Juniper and that she could take care of herself. That as the daughter of a Tribe Master she was much more used to crowds than me and should be the one to handle our current predicament, but somehow I still found myself whispering in her ear, ¡°Chin up for your tribe,¡± before I stepped forward to partially block her from the whisper women¡¯s view.

    As an example, I lifted my own chin and met each whisper woman¡¯s gaze in turn. ¡°We appreciate being allowed to join your meeting.¡± I would have preferred washing my hands of the situation in the delta, or at least simply gathering information about it in my own time, but between Esie and the Hundred Eyes sect head it seemed they were determined to make the fight some sort of proving ground for me. ¡°My name is Gimley and this is Juniper.¡±

    ¡°We know who you are.¡± That was Nix, the investigative Hundred Eyes whisper woman. ¡°The question is why you are here.¡±

    Surprisingly, it was Hattie who answered instead of Esie. She popped up off the railing she was leaning against with a grin. ¡°Gimley was the first one in our group to notice the lack of wind during the last battle on the southern shore and she was the one that pushed us to continue heading for the caves rather than return to camp, not to mention the Wind Snake incident after that. She has a way of foiling the Devouring Blue¡¯s plans. Isn¡¯t that right, Little Diver?¡±

    In my mind that all counted toward one overarching plan the Lady Blue had in that area, but splitting it up certainly made it sound more impressive than some guesswork mixed with luck. I might not like the notoriety I¡¯d earned, but even I could admit that on rare occasions the recognition could be helpful¡ªnot that I wanted that help in this instance. I didn¡¯t need to give whisper women more reasons for why they want to use me.

    Esie nodded in agreement along with Kaylan in answer to Hattie¡¯s question. The pair weren¡¯t as wrapped up in each as they were when Prevna and I would go to their Warming Winds celebrations, but this meeting had a decidedly more casual air than the one in the Gathering Spot. They sat close together, each on their own cushion, off to my right. It seemed Esie was trying to subtly lessen her position of authority over the group, though I wasn¡¯t sure if that was just to help facilitate discussion or if she had some other reason.

    Kaylan added, ¡°And Juniper is directly involved with the fight in the delta. She is Tribe Master Toniva¡¯s daughter and the bearer of the pearl that¡¯s needed to awaken the Water Frond Snake.¡±

    ¡°I thought their input could help inform our decision and Dawnli also thought they should experience our meeting of the minds,¡± Esie said.

    Perhaps not relinquishing her authority then. I pressed my lips together slightly in frustration. Perhaps she just wanted to sit next to her partner.

    ¡°So,¡± Esie continued, ¡°what information have you all gathered so we can get the sect heads to act?¡±

    Nix laid out what she had discovered about the past five years of fighting in the delta first. What it amounted to was that fighting in the delta had kept largely to same pattern for years just like Juniper¡¯s mother had said. The fish would fight hard in the warm season and then pull most of their forces during the long cold season. There was a slight increase in their estimated numbers over the past five years, but nothing that truly pointed to the disaster in the making we were currently faced with. She promised to keep looking into it, but that formed the foundation of how the meeting went going forward.

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    Ambervale speculated on what the Lady Blue and her fish might be after, but she didn¡¯t have conclusive evidence to back up her claims. Her guesses ranged from the destruction of the Seedling Palace to the Lady Blue going mad from failure to them simply wanting to gain a solid foothold into the goddess¡¯s territory. I wasn¡¯t sure what to think of her supposed expertise when I could have come up the same answers with what vague knowledge I had about the Lady Blue with about five minutes of brainstorming. Nor did it help that they all basically boiled down to the same motivation: the Lady Blue wanted violence and destruction. Surely, she could have come up with something more nuanced?

    Morwen reported that the delta¡¯s foliage defense had taken a hit just due to the sheer numbers of fish pressing into the delta, but that overall, it was still standing strong and doing its job to make the fish easy pickings for the delta¡¯s defenders. However, she also noted that some of the plants took years to grow, so if the damage became too widespread it would be difficult to revive the defenses to their highest effectiveness before the next wave of fish destroyed their efforts. That was something at least to put pressure on the whisper women to act. If the defenses didn¡¯t work properly then the demand on fighters would also increase¡ªand if the tribes couldn¡¯t meet that demand it would fall on the whisper women.

    And perhaps that was the simple explanation for the entire endless fight Juniper¡¯s old tribe was fighting this year. The Lady Blue perhaps had decided that the cost to her forces was acceptable if it meant they could wear down the defenders and  ruin the defenses beyond repair. If they managed that, then every fight in the delta would become increasingly easy on the horde while the pressure built on our side. For now they seemed to be keeping the fighting to the waterways, but they took enough small bites of the surrounding defenses without the defenders taking it seriously, then those defenses could easily collapse. That type of plan also seemed to have the whiff of misdirection the Lady Blue had favored in the past.

    Hattie ran through the number of squads the commander was willing to commit to the fight in order to help the defenders prepare for a mass freeze as well as a proposal for a strike force of whisper women to be positioned further up the river in case the defenses in the delta did fall. The strike force idea was well liked though I doubted how long a few squads could hold up to the combined might of thousands of fish who already broken through dedicated defenses¡ªunless they had blessings that allowed a degree of annihilation I had yet to hear about.

    Kaylan offered small updates about how things had changed in the delta of over the course of the past few days, but those were all within the realm of expectation. Basically, she let us know that the delta¡¯s defenders were still exhausted, desperate for help, and fighting like their lives depended on it. Which, quite frankly, they did.

    Esie rounded out the discussion by summarizing everyone else points before turning the focus back onto Juniper and I. ¡°Anything to add?¡±

    Juniper had composed herself more as the others had talked and now she had her chin lifted a touch too high, but at least she wasn¡¯t staring at her feet and waiting for the needles to break.

    She said, ¡°I¡¯m willing to awaken the Water Frond Snake. It¡¯s my duty as the bearer of the pearl and the respite my people need.¡±

    Morwen leaned forward. ¡°You would take the risk?¡±

    Juniper didn¡¯t like that the whisper woman seemed to know more than she should, but she still answered the question. ¡°Of course. It¡¯s what¡¯s best for the tribe and the delta.¡±

    Morwen shook her head slightly in disbelief. ¡°You should have been a Beastwatcher with kind of attitude.¡±

    ¡°Hundred Eyes has served me well so far,¡± Juniper said.

    Had it? I gave her a sidelong glance. We hadn¡¯t done much in the sect other than sort records and this whole affair was entirely separate from which sect we joined. I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised if Esie still had decided to loop me in since we had the same patron. The only difference would have been how she included Juniper, if we had joined different sects.

    Still, I was curious about the risk Morwen had mentioned. From what I knew, Juniper didn¡¯t suffer any adverse affects when she did her water orb trick, but perhaps that was a small thing compared to what the pearl was meant for. I¡¯d have to see if Juniper was willing to give me more details when we weren¡¯t surrounded by whisper women.

    And, from what I could see, this meeting might help in the short term if we actually got around to answering Juniper¡¯s mother¡¯s plea, but the truth was we were simply going off speculation and picking between two different stalling options, which ignored the long term. Even if we managed to drive of the fish with a mass freeze or the Water Frond Snake, there was nothing stopping them from coming back in equally massive numbers the next year and the year after that until everyone on our side was too worn down to maintain our defense. A defensive battle wasn¡¯t in our favor even if it was the only one we knew how to fight since the Lady Blue maintained complete control over the sea.

    There very well could be another reason pushing the Lady Blue to attack with such fervor that had nothing to do with the delta, but we¡¯d likely never know what it was if it was beneath the waves. Well, however much I might hate to admit it, Ulo might be able to discover something with her ability to breathe underwater¡ªif she didn¡¯t die to the first fish to spot her in their domain.

    The best option would be for us to somehow go on the offensive, but with the numbers the fish soldiers had even the best spear fishers wouldn¡¯t be able to make a dent had they been normal fish. I smiled slightly at the image of multiple fish stuck on the end of a fisher¡¯s spear¡­perhaps a dent wasn¡¯t what was needed though. The fish had hidden away in the depths before. If we made them uncomfortable enough in their own territory, made them vulnerable along the shore, they might lose their willingness to fight, or at the very least, they wouldn¡¯t be able to pour their horde so easily into every chink of our defense. The Lady Blue had kept us on our toes with hit and run tactics before and I was of a mind to return the favor.

    Esie caught my eye. ¡°Do you have something to add?¡±

    ¡°I was thinking we should use the Lady Blue¡¯s own tactics against her.¡±

    My statement was met with complete and utter silence.

 Book 5 - Ch. 29: The Rules of the Game

    If looks could kill and I had a different blessing, I would have been dead twice over after I declared my idea. Once by Ambervale and once by Morwen. Ambervale looked like she thought I was a complete and utter moron with a death wish while Morwen just looked affronted. It was the most emotion I had seen the Beastwatcher second show in the short time I¡¯d know her. Frankly, I was a bit surprised since she seemed to hold herself separate from the other whisper women, but I kept my own expression unapologetic and determined.

    Morwen shook her head. ¡°Don¡¯t you think we already tried that?¡±

    Ambervale broke in, ¡°Using the tactics she knows best will just get us killed. She¡¯ll know what to expect and we don¡¯t have the numbers to swarm hers.¡±

    Esie held up a staying hand. ¡°Why don¡¯t you tell us what you mean in more detail, Gimley?¡±

    So I did.

    I told them all about my ideas to pick off the fish and instill fear. I mentioned how we could use misdirection and hit and run tactics to strike where the fish thought they were the safest. I went into detail about targeting the chain of command since the fish seemed to have one if we referred to some of them as conch commanders. I covered examples of blessings that could be helpful and how we might use the terrain to make more dedicated killing fields even without delving into the sea.

    ¡°It¡¯s suicide.¡± That was Ambervale. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because of the effort she had placed into becoming an expert on the Lady Blue, but she placed a lot of faith in the demigoddess¡¯s capabilities over our own, especially when it came to doing anything in the water.

    ¡°It¡¯s necessary.¡± I stared the whisper woman down. ¡°We can¡¯t win a defensive battle, not when the Lady Blue has endless fish to throw at us. If things stay as they are, even if we hold the delta this year, they will eventually grind us down until we can no longer resist. The only time we got them to run was when my patron sliced into their depths. We need to change the playing field rather than playing by the existing rules.¡±

    Ambervale dug into her stance. ¡°The Lady Blue and her fish control the sea¡ªsending anyone under the waves is suicide. We can¡¯t keep up with their strength and speed in the water much less even reach any significant depth before we need to draw breath.¡±

    ¡°The sea is vast, just like our shores. It¡¯s near impossible to watch every inch of it at all times, especially if we draw attention elsewhere. Nor do we have to commit everything to going below the surface. We can strike from above. Perhaps the storm birds would like to return to their old hunting grounds?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not¡ª¡±

    ¡°Enough.¡± Esie cut off Ambervale¡¯s objection. ¡°It¡¯s true that our standard tactics are starting to fail us. The Lady Blue¡¯s forces swelled to unprecedented amounts during their time in hiding while ours haven¡¯t. We are no longer as evenly matched as we once were. We can explore to see if any of Gimley¡¯s ideas are feasible, but in the meantime we still need to deal with the current predicament in the delta. I will bring our information to my patron so that she can present it to the sect heads. If everything goes well, we should be answering the Tribe Master¡¯s call within the week.¡±

    Juniper puffed out her chest. ¡°I¡¯m ready to go now.¡±

    Esie smiled gently at her. ¡°I¡¯m sure you are, but there are other preparations that need to be made even if they decide to wake the Water Frond Snake.¡±

    Juniper wasn¡¯t happy with that rejection. ¡°We should go now. The longer we wait the the higher the toll will be on the tribe.¡±

    ¡°Do you not trust your birth tribe?¡± Hattie tilted her head to the side, looking genuinely confused, though I was sure it was some sort of trick. The boisterous squad leader wasn¡¯t one to let confusion weigh her down.

    ¡°Of course I do!¡± snapped Juniper.

    Hattie grinned back at her. ¡°Then trust them now.¡±

    Juniper opened her mouth to protest before slowly shutting it again and clenching her jaw. I also wanted to protest, but for different reasons than her. I didn¡¯t want to be pulled from our training so soon for something unrelated, nor did I like the charades we were going through when I knew that the High Priestess already knew about the situation. Likely the only thing we needed was her decision on whether she¡¯d freeze the coastline or not, but Esie was keeping the secret and I didn¡¯t want to get on the High Priestess¡¯s bad side.

    People might be fighting and dying, Juniper and I weren¡¯t the ones who got to make the final call on when or how we entered the fight. It grated. If I was going to be involved, then I wished I could have dictated more of the terms.

    The meeting broke up.

    Juniper left the high platform as soon as she could. The others also filtered out quickly, returning back to their other duties and responsibilities. The fight in the delta might be important, but there was little anyone could do until an official decision was reached.

    There was, however, one thing I could do that I had been putting off. I sent a whisper on the wind to Ingrasia. To my surprise, it worked on the first try. I let my concentration drop on the mental shield I constantly kept up to stop whisper women from using the shadows to track me and use me as an anchor point for their shadow paths like I had when the Envoy kidnapped Juniper. Both the mental block and the anchor point skill didn¡¯t seem to be ones that most whisper women focused on, but I appreciated their utility. Mishtaw had also focused on their importance once Prevna and I demonstrated our ability to travel to one another.

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    Ingrasia slipped out of the shadow closest to me where it stretched out on the path leading down to the rest of the Seedling Palace. It seemed that she also had taken the time to learn the pair of skills. I brought my mental shield back up as she hopped up onto the delicate railing and made her way over to me.

    ¡°You said you have a question for me?¡±

    I stared at her feet. The railing was as wide as a couple fingers pressed side by side at most. It was also rounded and smooth, but she didn¡¯t so much as wobble as she walked on the thin bit of amber. She hadn¡¯t even hesitated before she perched on top of the railing either, even though we were on one of the highest points in the Scales sect tree.

    ¡°It¡¯s still not my blessing.¡± Ingrasia did a little hop on top of the railing. ¡°Just a lifelong habit.¡±

    I drew in a deep breath and forced the shock aside. ¡°I know. It¡¯s language, right?¡±

    She grinned. ¡°You learned that quick. Only Ana figured it out faster.¡±

    ¡°How quickly did she figured it out?¡±

    ¡°Our first conversation, but, to be fair, she caught me speaking in a dialect I had no right to know.¡± Ingrasia waved further questions away. ¡°But enough about that. What did you need to ask in person?¡±

    Mishtaw had advised me to be honest with her. It still went against myself preservation instincts, but I¡¯d resolved to at least layout the basic situation for her. I started with the easiest thing to admit. ¡°Kaylan wants to teach me information gathering.¡±

    ¡°She wants in on the fun, hmm?¡± Ingrasia shrugged. ¡°Well, why not? She rarely gets interested in seedlings and there¡¯s different things you can learn from each of us. I¡¯ll add her to your training as her schedule allows.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± My eyes went wide with disbelief.

    ¡°Did you think I¡¯d say no?¡± Ingrasia spun as if she was on solid ground and started walking the other way. It was enough to help me understand Juniper¡¯s fear of heights. I might not die from the fall but even I had balked at the much wider narrow paths in the Seed Landing. I couldn¡¯t imagine prancing around on the railing like Ingrasia did.

    She added, ¡°There¡¯s no reason not to. Your mentor ban is lifted, she¡¯s from Hundred Eyes, and she can teach you useful things.¡±

    It was so different from my previous situation that I wasn¡¯t sure what to think. Normally, I was lucky to even get one mentor to teach me when they had time. Now, if Kaylan really did start to teach me, I¡¯d have her, Esie, and Ingrasia and her apprentices. I didn¡¯t want to be beholden to all of them, but it was also true that with their knowledge I could learn a lot faster than I had before. I¡¯d have to take advantage of the circumstances while I had them.

    I told her the basics of my involvement with the situation with the Swirling Waters delta including that both Esie and Dawnli had taken pains to make sure I was aware of the fighting there. Better to tell her now then have Juniper and me disappear without word within the week.

    Ingrasia grew more grim as I spoke until she crouched down to be closer to eye level. ¡°Do you know what¡¯s going on in the Seedling Palace?¡±

    I shook my head and it looked like she held in a sigh before she continued, ¡°Perhaps that¡¯s to be expected given how often you were away. We¡¯re on the edge of a Succession War and the situation in the delta will likely be the first proxy war. Seedlings don¡¯t often get pulled in too far since no one considers them a threat. They have no chance at winning.¡±

    I frowned. ¡°What are you saying?¡±

    ¡°A Succession War happens whenever one of the Chosen pass away. Talitha isn¡¯t gone yet but she¡¯s been wasting away for years even with the Black Handed Healers¡¯ best care. Everyone knows it, just like they know she will likely pass away within the year and that the goddess will replace her. There¡¯s always the same number of Chosen.

    ¡°Sect heads and their seconds are exempt, except on the rare occasion a second decides to opt in. Sect heads never do. They are expected to keep their sect stable. Those like me whose usefulness is largely outside the goddess¡¯s territory are also largely considered outside the Succession War. Sprouts and younger seedlings are always exempt. Saplings can be used but are rarely considered true contenders. Whoever becomes the next member of that inner circle will gain power and prestige and whichever sect or faction they represent will gain influence as well. Our current balance of power will inevitably shift to some degree or another.¡±

    My eyes were as wide as they could go as I tried to process all the implications of what she was saying. ¡°And how is the successor chosen?¡±

    ¡°Whoever catches the goddess¡¯s attention. Whoever She deems worthy. It could be within a day of Talitha passing or months, though the next is always chosen before the next walk on the Calling Road. People will also be vying for the Beloved¡¯s attention¡ªshould she decide to vouch for someone, that person is always chosen.¡±

    My blood ran cold. Normally, catching the goddess¡¯s attention was thought be more ill luck than good, but there was little chance She¡¯d choose someone She didn¡¯t even know to consider. No wonder Esie had gone so still when I told her the goddess had spoken to me during the boon trial. I had done more than enough to catch the goddess¡¯s attention more than once.

    ¡°And this proxy war?¡± I pressed.

    Ingrasia explained, ¡°The sects and factions¡ªthose groups whose loyalty includes those of different sects¡ªuse proxy wars to decide on their best candidates and compete for the goddess¡¯s attention. They¡¯re weeding grounds and places for the different groups to prove themselves against one another. Savior of Swirling Waters has quite a ring to it, doesn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°And why tell me all of this?¡±

    Ingrasia huffed out a breath and rose back up, so she towered over me on the railing. ¡°You know why. Sapling or not, you¡¯re being pulled in. Dawnli and Rivon used their test to see if you had knowledge about the brewing proxy war and, when you didn¡¯t, they went with their original decision to place you under me and outside the Succession War. They wanted to keep your abilities within the sect. Esie is dragging you back into the War. She might like her position as it is, but if you manage to become one of the Chosen then the Lady of Calm Waters¡¯ faction will be boosted.¡±

    I didn¡¯t know what to think. Part of me was thrilled that I was much closer to becoming one of the Chosen than I ever would have dreamed while another part was pissed that Esie had been maneuvering me for something so significant without telling me. A significant part of me was also dreading all the crazy circumstances being part of the Succession War would likely drag me into.

    Still, I could get more information from Ingrasia while I had the chance. I had skirted around telling her that I had spied on the original meeting but I had mentioned being part of the one right before I contacted her. ¡°And everyone else in the meeting about the delta?¡±

    She shrugged one shoulder. ¡°Likely a candidate or sizing up the competition for one. The delta won¡¯t be the only proxy war, but it will be a significant one. If Esie brought them all on then she was likely using it for the latter.¡±

    Sometimes I wished a fight could just be a fight. A meeting just a meeting, but that rarely seemed to be the case when it came to Esie.

    Ingrasia seemed to notice that I was getting overwhelmed despite my best attempts to keep my whirling thoughts behind a unaffected mask. She said, ¡°At least there¡¯s one thing you don¡¯t have to worry about.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°What?¡±

    She gave me a sympathetic smile. ¡°I¡¯m not one of those mentors who can¡¯t adapt their training. Your training will not be interrupted. We¡¯ll join you and Juniper when you get called to the delta.¡±

    Wonderful.

 Book 5 - Ch. 30: Bramble Watch

    The Swirling Waters¡¯ main outpost was a sprawling nest of bramble vines and pine trees. They were grown so they interwove together into one multilevel structure that stretched from a handful feet above the main water way to the tops of the trees in the delta. There were some areas that wound their way down to ground level as well, but they were small and well guarded. It seemed that the ground often wasn¡¯t stable enough to support a person¡¯s weight.

    The whole thing felt insulated and entrenched. As if nothing could get in through the thickly woven, thorny walls and they wouldn¡¯t budge even if Grislander came alive again and swatted the village. The bramble vines didn¡¯t shift or crunch under our feet though they made for bumpy ground. Nor did it feel like we were up in the air¡ªwith the way the walls twisted up it felt more like we were in the ravines of Flickermark, only able to see the sky directly overhead.

    I wanted to burst out into open air, but Juniper seemed settled in a way I had never seen her. Unlike the needle platform on the top of the Seedling Palace, or the view from any tree, she seemed utterly sure she wouldn¡¯t fall. This was her world and she was glad to be home.

    They had cultivated the different varieties of bramble berries so they grew in contained patches all throughout the enclosed village. The rest of the space, on the inside of the walls, had the bramble thorns pruned back and seemed to be coated in some kind of oil or mixture that kept the berries from sprouting. Meticulous, time consuming work, but it resulted in them having clean living spaces and open areas to practice fighting and complete other work.

    There were access points to the waterway and lookout towers, so they could respond immediately to any threat by the fish. Juniper proudly declared that they had reedlike poles positioned through the river that would rattle if any fish tried to secretly swim past the clusters and other tactics to fend off underwater assaults.

    I could hear the sounds of fighting in the distance, but they were faint enough that they could be brushed off as something imagined. Juniper wasn¡¯t as pleased about that. It meant that the horde had pushed her people hard enough that they had made more gains up the river than they typically ever would in the cold season which, while being something we knew, was completely different to experience firsthand.

    Everyone in the outpost had the look of a fighter. The elderly and children had already been moved to the cold season shelter, and everyone remaining did their best to fight the fish into a standstill, if not a retreat. It made me wonder again how these people could have produced someone like Juniper who had all the theoretical knowledge, but none of the practical experience.

    That is until our guide took us to the top of the wall.

    Bulbous pine trees spread out all around us and their roots were either surrounded by water or dangerous looking shrubs full of thorns and burrs and other unpleasant things. The ground was completely impassable except in one or two areas I could see where it looked like the tribe had strategically opened up killing grounds, muddy or spongy ground that offered a path forward through the bushes, but that was also surrounded by slingers¡¯ nests and likely littered with traps.

    There was nowhere to be but up high unless you wanted to struggle through the organic defensives or be easy pickings for a fish soldier in the water. The Swirling Waters tribe had built walkways, outlooks and outposts, all throughout the trees so they could rain death down onto the fish from above. Given these surroundings, Juniper should have been more confident up in the air than most of our cohort.

    Instead, her fear of heights kept her at the bottom of the knobby steps leading up to the top of the wall, so she wouldn¡¯t have to look at the expanse spreading all around.

    She was locked away with the confines of the outpost by her own fear and it seemed no amount of exposure would dismiss it. Perhaps she could learn to better regulate it, like I could strangle down the terror of confining places depending on the circumstances, but that was certainly not foolproof or without consequence.

    Juniper stared resolutely out at nothing from her position below us as our guide, an older man who might go with the elders to the cold season shelter in a year or two, softly confided, ¡°Our Little Lady is as fierce as the knife dancers, but she prefers to hide her face from the sky. She knows Bramble Watch better than all of us combined though.¡±

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    Knife dancers were a subset of the tribe¡¯s fighting force that used were trained in dual wielding knives or daggers, like Ento. They had the highest mortality rate of the delta¡¯s fighters but they could carve through large swathes of fish when they were trapped on killing grounds or during an ambush. What protection they lost from keeping the high ground, they made up for in pure killing efficiency.

    Juniper had informed me about all sorts of things when it came to her tribe and the delta while we were waiting for our summons. Though she still kept quiet about the Water Frond Snake, her pearl, and the fact that her people referred to her as ¡®Little Lady¡¯.

    They seemed to have an interesting mix of pride and pity for her. Pride because of her focus on fighting the horde, her position as the Tribe Master¡¯s daughter, and her connection to the Water Frond Snake. When they made an effort to be formal they called her ¡®Pearl Bearer¡¯ instead of ¡®Little Lady¡¯. Pity because of her crippling inability to fully adapt to their way of life. She might desperately want to fight the fish, but she didn¡¯t take shifts on the lookout towers or patrol the walkways. She couldn¡¯t kill fish with one clean shot of her sling and no one would risk the Pearl Bearer with the life of a knife dancer. She panicked when she saw how high up she really was and at some point they had all decided it would be best to stop forcing her out of the outpost and see how she did as a whisper woman.

    The only one who hadn¡¯t accepted those circumstances seemed to be Juniper herself.

    She was determined to fight the fish, protect the delta, and prove to herself and everyone else that she wasn¡¯t a disappointment. I could understand the sentiment even my motivations were more to spit in the eye of my detractor rather than win approval.

    No one in our group gave the guide the sympathy he seemed to be looking for. Rather Esie, Ingrasia, Ziek, and Ana all looked annoyed or otherwise displeased. For one, we already knew about Juniper¡¯s fear of heights, and two, he shouldn¡¯t have been so willing to gossip about her to outsiders, or about a Sapling at all, much less to other whisper women.

    Esie covered her annoyance with a bright smile. ¡°It¡¯s time for us to speak with your leader.¡±

    The man returned her smile and seemed to completely miss the hint of censure in her tone as he led us away. ¡°Of course. Tribe Master Toniva has been looking forward to hearing your decision.¡±

    Juniper rejoined the group as we trailed past her and I didn¡¯t bother with breaking her silence. Unlike our guide, I knew better than to poke at old wounds in public. Instead, I kept my focus on Esie while not to be obvious about it.

    I had been sorely tempted to hunt her down again, like I had after the initial meeting she set up, when Ingrasia revealed her manipulations, but rather than taking the hot headed approach and revealing my new knowledge I decided to see how things played out. After all, I wanted to become one of the Chosen even if I didn¡¯t like being used. I could always protest in the future and I wanted to leave open options I wouldn¡¯t have once others knew I was playing the same game as them in the Succession War.

    I¡¯d keep my eyes and ears open, learn all I could, and then use what I had learned to the greatest effect. That was likely the very least I¡¯d need to be capable of if I wanted to catch the goddess¡¯s eye and be Chosen. Otherwise, even if I caught Her attention the best I could hope for was being promptly dismissed. I had no desire to stare down a tide of lava again and desperately calculate whether it was better to burn or run.

    The air in the delta smelled of wet with hints of frost and salt, and something faintly rotten. A far cry from the dry heat of the inner valleys, but not entirely different from my time fighting on the shore.

    The High Priestess wasn¡¯t going to be freezing everything around her this time. Not unless we screwed up so badly that it was determined there was no other way to protect the Seedling Palace. Instead, Esie had informed everyone already involved that the decision had been made to awaken the Water Frond Snake and see if that did the trick to take care of the horde. I still thought we should take other measures, but she didn¡¯t give me any confirmation that my ideas had been even discussed.

    The other whisper women Esie had brought into the meetings were also around, but they had splintered off with their own guides to get to know Bramble Watch. Morwen had nodded greetings to several tribespeople she recognized, seemed to discuss some business with one of them, and then she disappeared into the shadow paths again. Ingrasia said she was likely going to go check on the other Beastwatchers in the area, but I was more surprised how familiar the Beastwatcher second seemed to be with the tribespeople. My tribe had barely ever interacted with whisper women and here, while it might not be common, the contact wasn¡¯t just restricted to funerals and when new seedlings were taken to the Seedling Palace during the Dark Night celebrations. Then again, Morwen had said Beastwatchers had worked together with the Swirling Waters tribe to grow the delta¡¯s defenses. That would give them much more ample opportunity to interact.

    Part of me wondered what would happen if, for all the talk of a proxy war, what would happen if the Water Frond Snake really was as effective as Toniva believed. Would Juniper be hailed as the Savior of Swirling Waters and win the proxy war before it even had begun? Or would the whisper women decide the battle here didn¡¯t count and move on to other things?

    That would be the best outcome for the fighting in the delta, at least in the short term, even if it conflicted with my own goals. Otherwise, I had to hope that we did come up with something that would break the horde or we would be in dire risk of being overrun.

 Book 5 - Ch. 31: Command Post

    Our meeting with Toniva was nice and quick with just one little twist. Our guide slid forward to stand in one of her council spots as did the other guides. Apparently, they were the leaders of the tribes who had given her their allegiance.

    Esie didn¡¯t show any surprise with that development, so I kept my face impassive as well. The Tribe Master¡¯s audience chamber was less a chamber and more an area set aside in her command post. It clearly sent the message that the Swirling Waters tribe wasn¡¯t in the habit of hosting outsiders and they would prefer to continue on that way if they could. The command center was nestled just to the side of the heart of Bramble Watch and they had taken pains to make the building look like those surrounding it, if a bit bigger. There were other large buildings too in the outpost to act as decoys or backup command posts, if this one was destroyed. The tribespeople proudly declared that Bramble Watch had never been overtaken by the fish horde, but it seemed they kept themselves grounded enough to still prepare for the possibility.

    The room was a simple affair, similar the commander¡¯s tent on the shore. A map dominated the center of the floor. It was woven out of reeds and painted using a pungent paste I didn¡¯t recognize. Major areas of the delta were marked out and stones, differentiated with more colorful pastes, were adjusted as reports came in to display the delta¡¯s forces vs the horde. The stacks of stones on the fish¡¯s side made the Swirling Water¡¯s tribe forces look pitiful in comparison.

    Messengers and aides hurried about as they tried to keep the war front¡¯s information up to date and organized, but there would always be more lag than the whisper women in our group were used to since the tribesfolk couldn¡¯t talk on the wind.

    Our makeshift meeting area was avoided by the workers and that was only thing that marked it out. It was bare of comforts or decoration. Tribe Master Toniva stood in front of a bramble woven wall, two guides turned tribe leaders stood on her either side, so that we had five people looking at us expectantly.

    Esie took the lead again and explained that our plan was to wake up the Water Frond Snake and that the whisper women would also be committing fighters to the fight, if the Swirling Waters tribe would have them. Toniva accepted both and that was that.

    I waited for someone to explain what exactly was needed to wake up the delta¡¯s savior, or at least the time frame we were planning on taking to complete the task with Juniper but no one went into anything remotely useful. Instead, Toniva asked to speak with her daughter, Juniper agreed, and they both disappeared into an area hidden by thickly woven reeds.

    I was tempted to eavesdrop, but there wasn¡¯t a good way to do it unless I wanted to march right up to the doorway and press my ear to the mats in full view of everyone. So I stayed where I was and listened to our guide ramble on about the fighting and how things went in this or that year and his speculations about how all the fighting would go this time around. He was very sure that it would work out one way or another. I would have paid better attention, but he was a terrible storyteller. He¡¯d jump from one event to the next without ever really finishing the first because a detail in one would remind him of the other and when he got started on the second he¡¯d be reminded of a third and so on. It left me with more questions than answers, and I was glaring daggers at him by the end but he kept on going, oblivious. The rest of the tribe leaders seemed more than willing to let him talk. Ana encouraged him, too, by asking questions, but I couldn¡¯t be too annoyed about that since I got more insight from her questions than anything else the man said.

    It didn¡¯t take long before the other tribe leaders were pulled back into the business of keeping the delta from being overrun, Ingrasia and Esie made their way over to the map, and Ziek kept a careful eye on everyone. Kaylan sat against the wall, eyes closed, and there was an even chance she was using her blessing as the Far Listener as there was that she¡¯d decided to take a nap. Hattie had excitedly engaged a tribe member in conversation, and after a long pause Nix and Ambervale went to look at the map as well.

    I followed their lead and left Ana to decipher our guide¡¯s ramblings on her own. The map wasn¡¯t the most detailed thing but it did mark the major waterways through the delta, the killing grounds scattered around, and the major regions in the area as the Swirling Waters tribe designated them. I adjusted my mental map to match. Then I recreated the current status of the war front on my mental map as well. It likely wouldn¡¯t be relevant for long, but it could still help me gain a better understanding of our situation and what the Lady Blue¡¯s motivation might be. From what I saw, it was going exactly like everyone had said: she was focusing on her attention on the main waterway that was the shortest route to the river leading back to First Shore Lake and the tribe was putting most of their fighters there to keep the horde from advancing, but they were gradually being ground down to nothing.

    I made a mental note to ask more about the areas that were largely being ignored because fighting small skirmishes across dozens a small waterways wasn¡¯t something the tribesfolk currently had the manpower for, especially when they were thought to be frozen over and protected. That could be the case but those places were prime opportunities for the Lady Blue to do something sneaky and devastating while attention was directed elsewhere, like she had before.

    One other area of particular interest was called the Den and it had a long curled line in it that looked suspiciously like a snake. If the Water Frond Snake was an actual creature I had only one guess now about where it resided. The area in question was situated between two of the major water ways and wasn¡¯t far from Bramble Watch.

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    Juniper and her mother rejoined us not long after that. Juniper looked proud and determined as Toniva settled her hand on her daughter¡¯s shoulder. The whole buzzing activity of the command post paused as everyone focused on the pair. There was something grim in Toniva¡¯s expression, but her voice was the same when she spoke.

    ¡°The Pearl Bearer understands and accepts the risks inherent to waking the Water Frond Snake. Let us fight, let us feast, let us pray.¡±

    The tribesfolk responded as one. ¡°Let us fight, let us feast, let us pray.¡±

    ¡°Make preparations for her purification and show our guests to their quarters. In three days time, after the rituals are complete, we will show them the might of our guardian.¡±

    The tribesfolk cheered and my stomach plummeted. Something wasn¡¯t right here. Toniva might have asked for her daughter back to wake the Water Frond Snake, but the way she was gripping Juniper¡¯s shoulder didn¡¯t speak to a proud mother, but rather one that was desperately trying to keep her daughter close. Juniper wasn¡¯t fighting her grip and didn¡¯t seem defeated, which made that desperation look less controlling and more protective¡­all of which turned my thoughts back to the mysterious risk that came with waking the Water Frond Snake. Juniper had refused to tell me what it was, but now I was more determined than ever to find out for myself.

    I also had more options now. I could press Juniper for the answer again and see if she was more willing to talk now that she was home; I could try to speak to Toniva but it¡¯d be a toss up if I could get a minute of her time between being told not to cause trouble and the amount of work she had as the Tribe Master, never mind the fact that she might not be willing to tell an outsider even if I was a whisper woman in her eyes; I could ask a random villager or three but there was no guarantee they¡¯d actually know the risk or, again, tell me if they did; and, lastly, I could ask Morwen since she seemed to know during the meeting but I¡¯d have to find her first.

    I weighed all my options and decided to go with the one that would most likely provide me results. I walked back over to where Kaylan was sitting and squatted down in front of her. It was still impossible to tell if she was faking the nap or not.

    I whispered, ¡°I accept.¡±

    She blinked her eyes open and yawned. ¡°Scheduling your first lesson all on your own?¡±

    ¡°You said to send a whisper if I accepted. I whispered. There¡¯s information I need to know.¡±

    There was movement behind me as our guides started gathering up everyone who wasn¡¯t part of the tribe to take us to our quarters. Kaylan didn¡¯t look like she was in any hurry to move. ¡°You mean about your friend over there? I could tell you or¡±¡ªa sudden glint came into her eyes¡ª¡°I could teach you how to learn for yourself.¡±

    This was why I had gone to Kaylan. I could have gone with any of my other options, but I was only good at getting information out of people when I made them angry and that wouldn¡¯t bode well if we had to spend any length of time here. Also, if I knew how to listen in or get information for myself I wouldn¡¯t have to constantly feel like I was asking for help by asking others to tell me what information they knew. I could just find out for myself.

    I lifted my chin. ¡°I want to learn.¡±

    ¡°Wonderful. As you should.¡± Kaylan rolled to her feet in one smooth motion and I glowered up at her as I hurried to stand back up. The sudden movement had caused me to flinch and I didn¡¯t appreciate it.

    She smiled past me at the tribe leader turned guide trying to get us to join the others. ¡°We¡¯ll be going our own way. Not to worry¡ªwe won¡¯t need a guide.¡±

    She gestured for me to follow her, winked at someone that I didn¡¯t catch though I assumed it was Esie or Ingrasia, and ambled out of the command center. I kept pace as she led me through the outpost. We stopped in an three way intersection that connected several hubs of the outpost. Kaylan leaned against a wall like it was hers alone and I did my best not to block the foot traffic. Better that than get in a needless fight.

    Snatches of conversation reached us but I couldn¡¯t make out anything groundbreaking. Just a few sentences here and perhaps one half of a conversation about something that needed repaired there.

    ¡°Let it wash over you, but also try to make out the faintest voice you can hear. Overtime it should help you hear the quietest conversations. Don¡¯t forget about the other sounds, too. When put together they can tell a story without anyone saying a single word.¡±

    I fought the urge to roll my eyes and focused on my hearing. Of course, the Far Listener didn¡¯t think twice about issuing instructions to listen to half a dozen different things at once.

    It was easiest to keep my focus on the voices. Whenever, I tried to pay attention to other sounds I found myself slipping back into listening in on a conversation instead. Which was frustrating and only made me want to pay attention to them more. It didn¡¯t matter if they were unpredictable, infrequent, and largely background noise. I would¡ª

    Kaylan flicked me on the arm and I glared at her. She shrugged.

    ¡°Try not to become so focused that you ignore everything immediately around you. That¡¯s a good way to leave an opening for someone to take advantage of you. What do you hear?¡±

    Nothing remotely interesting or helpful. Just to have an answer I said, ¡°A village.¡±

    She smiled. ¡°Good.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°This is a village and you hear its collective sounds. That¡¯s good. A lot of people like to narrow it down further and say ¡®talking¡¯ or make it so broad their answer is utterly unhelpful such as saying they hear ¡®people¡¯. Doing what? How many? Are they a group or a whole bunch of individuals? Your answer address all of those questions. A village tends to be a midsized group living together. In this case there¡¯s more people than that implies, but otherwise it¡¯s a decent answer.¡±

    I crossed my arms. ¡°This doesn¡¯t help me with whatever is going on with Juniper and the Water Frond Snake.¡±

    ¡°No need to rush things.¡± Kaylan pushed off the wall. ¡°But we can head to our next location.¡±

    I followed her again without protest until we were striding up a walkway that lead outside Bramble Watch¡¯s walls. She noticed right when I slowed. She stopped and turned to smile conspiratorially at me.

    ¡°Why not go two for two? Sneak away to scout on a battle front. I could hide up in the branches if it makes you feel better¡ªreally make you feel like you¡¯re out all on your own.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t stop my small sigh of annoyance at her goading, but I still marched out past her and into the delta. The guards looked like they wanted to stop us but they didn¡¯t have the courage to gainsay a whisper woman. No doubt, however, someone would be running for the command center as soon as they were out of our sight.

    Kaylan slipped back in front of me and from the direction we were headed I knew she was taking me to the Den.

 Book 5 - Ch. 32: Simple Observations

    The smell of earthy decay increased as we left Bramble Watch behind. A few swirls of snow also floated through the air but they were picked up from the drifts clinging to the bulbous pines¡¯ branches rather than an indication that a storm was on the way. The sky was mostly clear and I held in a sigh of relief. Even with the branches all around and the narrow walkway, it was infinitely better than dealing with the outpost¡¯s confining walls. Still, something about my demeanor must have given me away because Kaylan glanced back with an intrigued look.

    The whisper woman refrained from commenting on whatever she noticed. Instead, she idly commented, ¡°Did you know the people here have a saying? They say, ¡®Only one will stand in the end¡¯. I always found it a bit silly since the fish swim more often than not, but I suppose the sentiment stands for itself.¡±

    I mulled it over as we walked. Kaylan might like to be physically lazy whenever the chance presented itself, but the more I recalled the things she had told me while we were stuck in the lookout post on the root wall, the more I realized there had been a purpose behind her words. She was like Esie in that regard. The obvious reason for something was rarely their only motivation. She had been the one to tell me about the Thousand Cut Witch, indirectly giving me more information about my patron when everyone else had been close lipped.

    The obvious connection for the saying was the one Kaylan had already pointed out: the fight against the horde. One way or another the fight in the delta would eventually come to an end with a victor. Depending on how well we were able to counteract the horde¡¯s new tactics that ending could come this cold season or happen years or decades from now. The Swirling Waters tribe clearly wanted to instill the belief that they would be the ones standing in victory, but there could be other ways to take the saying.

    For example, rather than one side winning it could also mean only one person would survive in the end. A single survivor that could either inspire pride with their tenacity or despair that for all the battles fought and blood lost they were all that remained. I made a mental note to listen for the phrase or other ones that might reference it. Doing so would hopefully help me understand how else it might be used and even give insight into the tribe¡¯s morale.

    ¡°How do you know so much about the people here? I thought you came from a tribe in the eastern part of the goddess¡¯s forest.¡±

    Kaylan glanced back at me again, surprised. ¡°You have a good memory.¡± She faced forward and ducked under a branch at the last moment. ¡°I¡¯ve always liked to collect stories and, with my ears, I¡¯ve had the opportunity to listen to a lot of them.¡±

    I walked under the branch she had ducked and the annoyance that I didn¡¯t have to move my head in the slightest to avoid it helped me quell the sudden burst of questions that wanted to jump off my tongue. I wanted to ask which ones were her favorite, if she knew the more obscure ones I did, what method she used to help remember them all¡­none of which was information that really mattered at the moment, so I kept the questions to myself.

    Still, I knew that at some point I¡¯d likely try to get the information out of her, see if she had more myths that I could add to my own collection. Everyone knew the most common tales of their region, but it was rare to find someone else whose interest went beyond what they heard during their childhood. If Kaylan had collected as many as she implied there were probably at least a handful I hadn¡¯t heard before or that different from the versions I knew.

    I was forced out of my contemplation as the sound of fighting suddenly increased. It was loud, nearby, and I reached for my spear on instinct.

    Kaylan held up a staying hand. ¡°Best not interfere unless the situation is truly dire. An unknown fighter could cause confusion and do more harm than good.¡±

    I let go of my spear. Another thing to consider. I knew that the Tribe Master had been reluctant to accept fighters from the whisper women, but I hadn¡¯t thought that out as throughly as I should have. It wasn¡¯t just that she hadn¡¯t they would give the boost needed to drive off the fish, but also she didn¡¯t want to spend the resources making sure the tribesfolk and the whisper women were ready to fight together. To make sure that they knew each other¡¯s tactics and didn¡¯t get in each other¡¯s way by surprising or confusing each other. As it was, I could help fight but if I leapt into a battle without thinking I could disrupt the tribesfolk¡¯s plan or simply cause enough of a disturbance that the fish could take advantage of the distraction.

    ¡°We can still watch from a distance. Try to keep yourself hidden.¡±

    Kaylan led me forward around several bends as I tried to make myself as small and quiet as possible. I wasn¡¯t a master at stealth, but I could remember my lessons from Rawley and, with the various bits of practice I had over the years, I could move with some skill. A field of crackly dried leaves and twigs might be beyond me, but on a steady walkway, clear of most debris, shadowed, and against a group who had other things on their mind I could easily sneak up unnoticed.

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    A group of twenty or so tribesfolk were facing down a group of fish at least twice their size. Four different walkways ringed a small killing field while a waterway ran along its right side. Six of the tribesfolk were hauling on ropes hoisted over several sturdy branches and as they pulled down a net was pulled up from the waterway, spilling fish into the killing field while the rest of the group rained down coordinated attacks with their slings and thrown spears. Another net had already been raised, blocking of the fishes¡¯ access to continue up the river. The river churned at its base, likely from other fish trying to cut through the net or otherwise break it.

    Just as I was worried that the tribesfolk would let them attack the net uncontested, a group of the tribesfolk lined up over the river and thrust down spears into the water. Each spear had a rope knotted around it and the defenders used the rope to haul their spear back up before attacking again. Better that then losing spear after spear to the water, I guessed.

    Eventually, the river was tinged yellow and ceased churning. Either all the fish were dead or had fled. One of the defense force barked out orders to check and reset traps, pile up the dead fish, and watch for any new attacks. The tribesfolk worked fast. Quick but efficient, so they decreased the amount of time with were vulnerable.

    Kaylan and I waited until they were no longer on high alert and liable to attack at the slightest disturbance. Neither of us knew what signals they used to let each other know they were safe and if we wanted to keep going forward we had to pass by their checkpoint. In the end Kaylan decided to just call out to them and make some noise as we stepped into view. ¡°Just passing through!¡±

    Several spears swung to point in our direction, but the group¡¯s leader made a gesture and the spears pulled back into a resting position. The leader inclined her head to us as soon as her gaze fixed on our black lips. ¡°Forgive my fighters. We weren¡¯t told whisper women would be passing through.¡±

    Kaylan smiled back at her and kept her posture loose, open. ¡°This more of an impromptu trip. Wasn¡¯t time to send out a warning. Anything we can do to make sure we don¡¯t catch the next group by surprise?¡±

    The corner of the leader¡¯s mouth twitched but she was too controlled to fully frown. ¡°If there¡¯s fighting we would appreciate it if you could wait for it to pass. We can handle distraction, but less is always better. Otherwise, you can whistle.¡± She demonstrated a whistle that started low and rose in pitch before going low again with a half a second pause in the middle. ¡°The fish have yet to replicate those.¡±

    The implications of that shocked me and I couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°What have they replicated?¡±

    ¡°Claps, clicks, that sort of thing. If they have a conch commander directing them they can be smarter about it.¡± She cleared her throat. ¡°Do you need directions to find your way?¡±

    That was as close to a dismissal as she could come without being out right being rude. Clearly, she wanted us to stop being an inconvenient distraction, but part of me was still surprised that she dared even that much. No one from the Gabbler Shore tribe would even thought to try to gently shoo a whisper woman on her way.

    Kaylan started forward again. ¡°We¡¯ll be visiting the Den. If there¡¯s anyone we might surprise on the way, a runner wouldn¡¯t be amiss.¡±

    The leader¡¯s mouth twitched into another almost frown, but she gestured again to one of the tribesfolk and the man started sprinting. It wasn¡¯t something I had noted fully at first since I had gotten used to firestarters fighting along whisper woman, but the Swirling Waters tribe had men and women fighting among their ranks, though there seemed to still be some differences between them. For one, I saw the men manning the nets and set as lookouts while the women seemed to be the ones mainly fighting with spear and sling. I was sure the men could still fight if needed, but they weren¡¯t Creed who was much a part of Mishtaw¡¯s squad as his wife.

    We passed two other outposts as we made our way to the Den. Only one of them had a killing field attached, however. The other one was situated over a wide, but shallow portion of a waterway. The fish tried to use it as a resting place since the river¡¯s flow slowed there, but the defenders often turned it into a trap instead. I didn¡¯t get to learn more because it was clear that the tribesfolk didn¡¯t want us to linger and Kaylan also seemed keen on reaching our destination.

    The Den looked like ever other bit of waterlogged, half frozen bit of forested delta we had passed through. The trees¡¯ roots knotted through water and murky ground, dangerous, thick shrubbery enveloped the ground, and snow clung where it could. At first, I didn¡¯t understand why we had stopped. Then Kaylan jumped over the railing and onto a curiously thick bit of snow. She didn¡¯t sink into it and quickly disappeared from sight as branches covered my view. I weighed my options before hurrying after her.

    When I stepped onto the wide patch of white my foot didn¡¯t sink in, either. Instead, it felt hard and smooth, like wood or bone. I reached down to touch whatever it was I was standing on, but the surface didn¡¯t change. My stomach sank but it was too late to call Kaylan back. I doubted we were supposed to be casually walking on what I was realizing this could be, but I wasn¡¯t ready to turn around and miss out on whatever Kaylan wanted to show me, so I started to weave through the branches after her.

    I found her on a ridge of rounded white that broke above the tree line. She seemed impressed as she gestured to the area around us.

    ¡°Take a look.¡±

    A wide line of white wove through the trees in the area with one end turning into a snake head, four fronds trailing back from its cheeks and forehead, mouth open to display fangs as long as my arm.

    We were standing on the Water Frond Snake and if it had a living snake it could have swallowed me whole with ease. It was even longer than the water snake I had faced on the shore. I wasn¡¯t sure how its size helped with all the varying sizes of the waterways in the delta, but looking at it, standing on it, it was enough take my breath away.

 Book 5 - Ch. 33: The Den

    I didn¡¯t have long to stare in simple wonder at the giant snake before questions started pressing up at the back of my throat. What was the Water Frond Snake made of? How did it work? And, still most important of all, what price would Juniper have to pay to awaken it?

    Kaylan spread her arms as if to say she had nothing to hide. ¡°When learning about a new place or culture, especially one of their secrets, first observe them. They will tell you all sorts of things with their actions that they might try to hide with their words. Pay attention to the details. Then if what you are curious about is a certain thing or event go see it for yourself. Don¡¯t let others¡¯ experiences substitute for your own. Finally, when you¡¯ve gathered the basics, ask your questions, but listen for what is said and what is left out and compare both to the things you¡¯ve observed.¡±

    A step by step summary of what she had guided me through on our journey here. First, observing the outpost and then the fight in the killing ground, though the latter might not have been by design. Then visiting the Den and literally walking on the Water Frond Snake to get my own experience of it. Now, apparently, was the time for questions.

    I didn¡¯t ask outright what the price was for waking the Water Frond Snake. After all, I was supposed to learning how gather information on my own rather than having it handed to me and I wanted to see if I could put the pieces together myself.

    I decided to start with the thing I knew the least about. ¡°Why do the tribesfolk here think waking the Water Frond Snake will solve all their problems? It¡¯s only one thing and it looks like it would have difficulty fitting even in the larger waterways.¡±

    Kaylan smiled at the question even as she plopped herself down onto the snake and dangled her feet over the side. Completely at ease, despite the significance of what we had tromped all over. ¡°It can change sizes. Shrink down to slither through the smaller waterways and expand to take on even the largest of the Lady Blue¡¯s creatures. It¡¯s nearly indestructible and what damage the fish do manage to do repairs over time. That, combined with its ability to control the water around it, forcing fish up into the killing grounds and turning their natural habitat against them, makes it the greatest threat to the horde in delta.¡±

    I glanced down at the snake beneath my feet with renewed appreciation but I didn¡¯t allow myself to become distracted. I could guess the answer to my next question but needed to be asked regardless. ¡°Why not use the Water Frond Snake all the time then? If it¡¯s such a destroyer of fish, surely it could stop them from wasting lives?¡±

    ¡°The cost. Each awakening of the Water Frond Snake makes it more likely that the ultimate cost will be incurred, and the longer an awakening is prolonged the more likely that outcome is too.¡±

    The ultimate cost? I took note of her word choice and packed it away with the other clues tucked into the back of my mind.

    ¡°Where did it come from?¡±

    I hoped she didn¡¯t say a wish, but I also doubted that was the case. The goddess wouldn¡¯t suffer for it to exist if that was the case, no matter how much it helped to protect the river leading back to First Shore Lake and Her Seedling Palace.

    Kaylan shrugged. ¡°No one knows for sure, but people here have a story. They say that when the world was younger and even fiercer than it is now, when the goddess was still recovering from the Era of Night being broken, a group made their way from the east and settled here. They say that at the time the goddess was too preoccupied to take care of interlopers in land too waterlogged for Her preferences and so they were able stay and grow. By the time, She was paying attention they were defending Her land and the Beloved was able to temper Her, so they were allowed to stay until Swirling Waters delta became what it is today. They also say that the Water Frond Snake was created in a time of dire need when the group still had the knowledge of their homeland, but the goddess had yet to bestow blessings on those living here.¡±

    I had to sit and process that for a bit. It boggled the mind¡ªnot the least because the story implied that the people in the delta had come before the Beloved when it was common knowledge that her group was the first to settle in the goddess¡¯s territory. Little was known about the Era of Night and even less of the years after, but it was difficult to believe that the goddess would allow anyone to reside in Her territory before the Beloved came.

    I also wasn¡¯t sure how anyone could survive without access to the common blessing or the Carvers¡¯ Embers, and those people would have had neither. Theoretically, I knew it had to be possible because the people in Azabel¡¯s territory wouldn¡¯t have a blessing by Heliquat, but I had no idea how to make a fire without those. Perhaps a fire had started accidentally and then they never let it go out? That¡¯d be quite the feat if it was true.

    Still, the story confirmed a suspicion of mine even if it directly contradicted what Juniper had told me. She had claimed that the pearl was a boon from the goddess and that it had been passed down so that they could help the guardian protect the waterways. As if the Water Frond Snake was a living creature that protected them on its own. Standing on it now, I could safely say that was a lie, possibly to stop outsiders from asking awkward questions.

    More likely, and what I had suspected since the Envoy had shown interest in her pearl, the snake and pearl were the same as all the Envoy¡¯s jewelry and the harp. Objects that somehow held their own blessings. If the Water Frond Snake could really do all the things that Kaylan claimed and the pearl was the key to activating it, and the Envoy somehow knew that or at least recognized that the pearl was meant to activate something, it was no wonder he had tried to drag Juniper back with him. Not when his mission apparently involved stealing things that used his territory¡¯s blessings.

    It was still interesting that the goddess kept the relics and allowed their use, but perhaps it was similar to how She had treated the Dawn Crawler in the inner valleys. Reminders of Her sister could be pitied, tolerated, or obliterated depending on Her mood. In the case of the Water Frond Snake, perhaps She found it amusing for something with Her sister¡¯s touch to defend Her lands, or perhaps She merely tolerated since it helped against the Lady Blue¡­guessing at the goddess¡¯s motivations was a fool¡¯s errand and a habit I should stop.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

    So, what did I know? The Swirling Waters tribe was full of fighting folk who¡¯d rather keep fighting themselves than use the tool supposedly made to help them defend their home. From what Juniper had said only certain people could use the pearl and she got a degree of respect for being the pearl bearer. Apparently, she had awoken the Water Frond Snake once before and now everyone was acting like she was good as dead if she did it again. Perhaps the people here had actually been hoping for a frozen coast.

    Death wasn¡¯t ideal, but it was well within acceptable terms for most instances, especially if it was for the good of the tribe or seen as the goddess¡¯s will. After all, being closer to death was preferable to gaining life. I didn¡¯t want to see Juniper die, but it was a bit of surprise for everyone to be commenting on the direness of the cost if that was what it amounted to.

    I glanced over at Kaylan. ¡°What am I missing?¡±

    ¡°A good question.¡± She stood back up. ¡°Follow me.¡±

    We followed the snake¡¯s spine through branches and snow until we reached its head. From our new vantage, I could see that its eye sockets were empty. Even carved, it looked more akin to the skull of a long dead beast, something had lived once, rather than something made. Here, on its head, there was a sense of¡­anticipation that had been lacking before. Like if I looked away and back again I might find that its jaw had snapped closed or something else shifted.

    Kaylan reached down, hooked her hand onto the bottom of the snake¡¯s eye socket, and swung herself into its mouth with little fanfare and less warning. I gaped, despite hating the way my mouth hung open. She always seemed to have a bit disregard for proper procedure, but treating the tribe¡¯s great protector like a climbing rock went beyond that.

    She popped her head back out of its maw to grin up at me before reaching her arms out like I was a child she was about to catch. ¡°Need help?¡±

    I scowled. I might not have the reach she did, but I wasn¡¯t helpless. Besides, if I thought about this like it was the time Breck and I had to climb down the half destroyed statue of Azabel, it didn¡¯t feel nearly as sacrilegious. They even came from the same source.

    I used one of the fronds coming off the snake¡¯s forehead to balance myself as I reached for the eye before I slowly lowered myself down and swung into the snake¡¯s mouth. To my annoyance, Kaylan steadied me as I landed and I noticed that there was a walkway leading up to the snake¡¯s mouth that we could have used for easier access.

    The reason for the walkway was readily apparent. A shrine had been set up in the back if its mouth. The shrine lacked a stone slab depicting the goddess¡¯s aspects, but the bone bowl was a clear enough indication along with the trinkets filling up the space around it. Dolls and carved animals, bits of food and drink, dried flowers and scorched ground. A place for remembering the dead.

    Just like shrines for praying directly to the goddess, these weren¡¯t common given how often tribesfolk tended to move around throughout the year and the fact that they could just talk to their tribe¡¯s Grandmother. But sometimes, people wanted to be alone in their grief and there was a place full of enough meaning that they would return to it again and again with little tokens that reminded them of the person they lost or why they kept going despite the loss. Those places became shrines of remembrance where the mourners offered blood to the goddess and a bit of fire as an echo of the pyre that should have bore them to the Silver Forest.

    Most often shrines of remembrance were used for those who were lost to accidents or weather and their bodies never recovered. Those that had likely become shamble men.

    Kaylan¡¯s easy attitude shifted to something more serious as she saw me take in the shrine. ¡°Every time the snake settles they build the shrine anew. To remember the sacrifices made and the minds given.¡±

    The final piece of the puzzle clicked into place at her words and I looked at Kaylan in horror. ¡°Are they always lost?¡±

    ¡°If given enough time.¡±

    I swallowed down the horror, though her answer wasn¡¯t much of a relief. Death might not be ideal, but there worse things.

    The Water Frond Snake didn¡¯t have a mind or a will. No matter much we stepped on it or swung from its eye socket it couldn¡¯t move to defend itself or attack. It was an object.

    But it was also true that fighting and driving off the horde was what the Water Frond Snake was known for. How then did the snake move and bite and attack? The answer was simple: the pearl bearer gave the snake a mind and a will. Their own. How such a thing worked I couldn¡¯t even begin to guess, but all that was really important at the moment was that when the fish were driven off and the work was done, the pearl bearer wasn¡¯t always able to move their mind back to their own body. And the longer they spent as the snake and the more times they ¡®awoken¡¯ it, the higher the chance became that they wouldn¡¯t be able to return to themselves. They¡¯d be trapped and the tribesfolk would be left with a body they might be able to burn, but there¡¯d be no soul to lift to Silver Forest on the pyre¡¯s smoke, just like a shamble man.

    ¡°They go mad.¡± Kaylan kept her voice quiet. ¡°When there¡¯s no fish to fight and they can¡¯t return to themselves. They say it feels like a need, more important than eating or breathing, neither of which they need to do as the Water Frond Snake. Fight, fight, fight. That¡¯s all that matters, but then there¡¯s nothing to fight. Sometimes they turn on the tribesfolk, sometimes they tie themselves into knots so they can¡¯t. Eventually the snake stops moving. The tribesfolk can¡¯t say exactly why, but then the pearl bonds with someone new and it starts over again. Sometimes the pearl bearer knows their next time will be their last so they¡­die early, so as not to risk turning on their own and the next bearer has to hope their first transfer isn¡¯t their last.¡±

    I opened my mouth to speak but I had wet my lips before any sound came out. ¡°Juniper?¡±

    ¡°Her first time awakening the snake was a long fight and she was young, inexperienced. No one expected her to be the one to bond with the pearl. The rumors say she had difficulty returning, but she¡¯s determined to do better now and convinced that she¡¯ll be able to stop herself from turning on the tribe if she can¡¯t return. No one will tell her otherwise when the only other option is for them to lose their precious ¡®Little Lady¡¯ to the Silver Forest.¡±

    Only one would stand in the end.

    That¡¯s what Kaylan said was a common saying in Juniper¡¯s tribe. It was a war cry against the fish, but it was also hope. Hope that the pearl bearer would stand on their own two feet and not be lost to their guardian.

    It made me want to rage. There was no reason Juniper should have to sacrifice herself to drive off the fish. No reason why she should be proudly marching straight towards her doom. There had to be other options. Surely, I¡ª

    Kaylan flicked me on the forehead and caught my gaze. ¡°I see what you¡¯re thinking, but you should know that you can¡¯t always be the sacrifice.¡±

    That wasn¡¯t¡ªI hadn¡¯t¡ªif it had been me¡ª

    If it had been me I would have walked as proudly to my doom as Juniper was. Better me than everyone else, right? Better to be the one making the choice than the one waiting to see how it played out, except this time I didn¡¯t have a choice. I wasn¡¯t the one with the pearl.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 34

    Hi everyone, letting you know that chapter 34 will be delayed. Apparently, even with the new post time I am struggling with getting the chapters out consistently on time. Thanks for your patience! My goal is to have the chapter out tomorrow, but depending on how this migraine goes that might end up being closer to Wednesday. This is one of those chapters that I''ve changed what I was going to do several times and now I''m probably overthinking it, but I want to make sure I double check what I have with a clear head before I post it. Thank you for reading and, again, for your patience!Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

 Book 5 - Ch. 34: False Pines

    My first instinct was to rage. To lash out and make the choice myself even if the decision wasn¡¯t mine to make. Crush the pearl, kidnap Juniper, poison all the waterways so the fish choked on their life¡¯s blood. Spare no thought for the damage I might cause or what divine fury I might invoke.

    That instinct never fully went away, but I managed to crush it down into a needle prick that burned like an ember in my gut. It badly wanted to flare into a fully fledged forest fire, but now wasn¡¯t the time. Not yet.

    Juniper wanted to serve her people and prove her worth. Fine. I could understand the desperation to cling to the thing that defined your childhood.

    But to throw away your mind, stuck in some unnatural state that you were powerless to escape? That was a horror I couldn¡¯t abide. Not after I experienced a similar hell when I was frozen for weeks on end.

    Especially when there was a fair chance it would all be for nothing. The whisper women wouldn¡¯t be plotting a proxy war in the region if they thought sending the Water Frond Snake out would fix all the delta¡¯s troubles. More likely Juniper¡¯s fate was being treated as a stop gap. A way to buy time for plans to be put in place and to push the locals to accept an increased whisper women presence in their delta. It¡¯d be harder for them to resist when we could say, ¡®Your fighters and great guardian weren¡¯t enough. Look how the fish still pore in. Now let us work.¡¯

    We also didn¡¯t have the numbers to fight the horde, not in the delta, but that mattered less if the delta was abandoned. It was a trap that had outgrown its usefulness. Now, year by year, it was becoming a bigger liability as defenses were ground down and the horde¡¯s threat increased as the Lady Blue committed more and more of her monsters to the fight. This sudden spike still didn¡¯t entirely make sense, but that didn¡¯t change the danger. Just like how abandoning the delta now didn¡¯t make sense unless it was certain that it would be overrun. And if that was the concern then freezing the coast would be a better option then the Water Frond Snake. Damaging the grown defenses mattered less if they were going to be abandoned anyway.

    There was something I was missing. The proxy war could explain away most of it, but becoming Chosen was hardly likely if we opened up a watery path to the goddess¡¯s home through poor decision making. Stopping the fish had to come first and so far that seemed be secondary to setting the scene for the proxy war. Either the whisper women had some blessing like my patron¡¯s hidden away or they were sure they could hold the river¡¯s mouth before the delta against the horde¡ªwhen that had never been true before.

    Worse, the Swirling Waters tribe seemed to believe the delta was still a priority like I originally had. They were putting their lives on the line to protect it, not serve as a delay tactic only for their home to be abandoned. But if my speculation was correct, then that¡¯s what they would be, just like the Water Frond Snake. Thinning the horde¡¯s numbers so the whisper women could jockey for the goddess¡¯s attention before swooping in to finish the fight.

    I wouldn¡¯t stand for it. The entire line of thought put a bad taste in my mouth. It was one thing to manipulate things to push a situation in your favor and another to treat an entire tribe as an acceptable loss. To use someone I knew and put her through a singular kind of torture.

    Sure, there was a slim chance Juniper could recover her mind, but the entire thing made a mockery of what she was fighting for. Her home, her people. It put her in danger for no other reason but to appease the Swirling Waters tribe, which if my suspicions were correct, they didn¡¯t actually want and then delay the horde. A frozen coast would also kill fish and hinder their fighting while giving everyone time to recover and build defenses without risking their Little Lady. But a frozen coast also meant the High Priestess stepping in which would likely invalidate the others¡¯ efforts in the proxy war.

    It was true that things couldn¡¯t stay as they were with outdated tactics that the fish were overwhelming through sheer numbers, and I had little idea what the plan was for future years if the delta was abandoned. Just as it was true that I didn¡¯t like the horror pearl bearer after pearl bearer were forced to endure in the name of protecting their home, especially when their sacrifice could threaten that home in turn. Surely after all these years the tribesfolk could have developed more strategies that resulted in them relying on the Water Frond Snake less, but it was still a staple of their defense.

    The situation in the delta couldn¡¯t continue as it always had. The Lady Blue was pressing in with her forces as if she knew the trap was about to break. Perhaps she did¡ªher monsters had certainly battered the defenses here beyond any reasonable amount of strain. The tribesfolk were exhausted and driven into a corner. The whisper women were ready to turn the situation to their own benefit, though a divided front was more likely to splinter under the weight of the horde¡ªand that was ignoring the evidence that the whisper women were also too stuck in their fighting habits to approach the Lady Blue¡¯s current forces with clear eyes.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    Something would have to give. I wasn¡¯t quite sure how abandoning the delta would work when it was full of pine trees and there seemed to be little thought put to how this would in the long term, but the rest of the pieces fit.

    As it was I knew two things: I wasn¡¯t about to let Juniper throw her life away for some daydream that wasn¡¯t even close to the current situation and that Esie had thrown me into this quagmire of a situation. And if Kaylan knew the true nature of the Water Frond Snake, then she likely did as well. They were using Juniper. Oh, they might regret the cost, but they were doing it all the same.

    I wasn¡¯t sure I could forgive that. It certainly didn¡¯t seem in line with the Lady of Calm Waters supposed ideal of protecting the people in the goddess¡¯s territory.

    I didn¡¯t have the authority to do what needed to be done. As a Sapling my ideas were scoffed at. I might have notoriety among the whisper women but I didn¡¯t have respect. The tribesfolk were the same. They might step carefully around me due to my black lips, but they¡¯d act on their traditions before my words.

    I couldn¡¯t stop the infighting on the horizon or the implosion of the delta. I couldn¡¯t win on this playing field. Perhaps that was fine. That just meant I needed to change the playing field to suit me. Focus on the things I could do.

    And that started with confirming my suspicions before shoving Juniper face first into the truth of the situation so she couldn¡¯t sacrifice herself in blissful ignorance.

    I rounded on Kaylan. ¡°Does Esie know?¡±

    The look on my face caused her to shift back half a step, but she didn¡¯t answer. My fingers dug into the palms of my hands as I clenched them in tight fists. I had fleeting thought of slugging her in the face, but I had enough presence of mind to know that¡¯d accomplish nothing but letting the rage win.

    ¡°Does. Esie. Know?¡±

    Kaylan sighed, long and low. ¡°She can¡¯t always be the sacrifice either. You saw Lithunia at that meeting. Esie did what she could, but only the Beloved and the goddess can command the High Priestess and apparently none of them were in a benevolent mood.¡±

    That knocked some of the fight out of me. Perhaps if the Tribe Master hadn¡¯t asked for Juniper we would have a frozen coast now, but just like Esie couldn¡¯t order around the High Priestess, Tribe Master Toniva could hardly petition for her help without showing that her tribe were doing everything they could to handle the situation. And the frozen coast wasn¡¯t Lithunia¡¯s blessing; that took an extra boost of power from the goddess.

    It was a poor gambler who bet on benevolence from Her.

    ¡°Juniper can¡¯t do this.¡± I knew the smart thing would be to stop talking but the words kept coming. ¡°Not when it won¡¯t amount to anything. Not when the delta will be abandoned.¡±

    Kaylan tilted her head to the side as she considered me. ¡°Figured that out already? We won¡¯t have much choice if the horde keeps pouring in like it is. The delta¡¯s defenses were already strained before they surged this year.¡±

    I looked pointedly at the bloated pines all around us. ¡°What about the pine trees? I¡¯m sure they get damaged in the fighting, so it¡¯s surprising the goddess tolerates that, but I doubt She¡¯ll accept us leaving them to rot.¡±

    Kaylan shook her head. ¡°These are false pines. You might be able to sense their shadows, but no one has been able to pry open their shadow paths in living memory. My understanding is that the goddess considers them contaminated by the Devouring Blue and no longer worthy of Her protection.¡±

    I had wondered we had traveled through the shadow of a summoning branch like my old tribe had for funerals and such to reach the delta. Juniper and I weren¡¯t quite skilled enough to find its shadow from the Seedling Palace so Kaylan and Ingrasia had brought us through. I had also thought it was odd that Esie hadn¡¯t been one of the ones who brought us through the shadow paths, but it was true that even in the Seedling Palace she seemed to avoid shadow walking when she didn¡¯t have to use it.

    I reached for the shadow of the closest pine. The shadow stretched over the Water Frond Snake¡¯s side and when I tried to press into it all I felt was the hard bone of the snake. No matter how I visualized the shadow from a tent flap to a pool of water it remained just as solid as the surface it covered. It was disorientating after years of being able to slip into the shadow paths, especially when I could still sense the shadows.

    ¡°Not breaking history this time it seems.¡± Kaylan raised an appeasing hand as I turned to snap at her. ¡°Everything is already in motion. Talk to Juniper. Tell her what you know if you think it will help, but let me ask you this: if you knew your home and the people you loved were about to be overrun, would you run away to save yourself? Or would you do everything you could to defend them even if others told you it was futile?¡±

    I glowered at her. She already knew the answer.

    She nodded. ¡°Right. Some things are more important than safety.¡±

    We walked back to Bramble Watch in silence. We had to stop twice so we didn¡¯t interrupt the tribesfolk fighting off the fish, but otherwise the trip was uneventful. I spent the time trying to figure out the missing piece to my information and what I could do now that Juniper was on the verge of a terrible decision I likely couldn¡¯t talk her out of. If I could somehow make all the fish disappear then there wouldn¡¯t be any need for her to give her mind to the Water Frond Snake or for the delta to be abandoned just yet, but I didn¡¯t have any leads on how to do that except for making a wish, and that could lead to getting everyone killed anyway if it made the goddess mad enough. My other ideas of using the Lady Blue¡¯s tactics against herself and such could also have some effect, but I doubted I could make much of a dent before the three days of rituals were over.

    But I had to try to something. Anything, so I wouldn¡¯t lose the one person who followed me to the Hundred Eyes sect. I had three days to figure out what that was and I was determined not to waste them.

 Book 5 - Ch. 35: Individual Burdens

    It wasn¡¯t difficult like I thought it would be to speak privately with Juniper¡¯s mother. As soon as she heard I wanted to speak with her, she brought me into the same sectioned off space she had spoken to Juniper in her command center. It hardly more than a hole in the wall for sleeping. A bedroll and blanket were shoved against the back wall with a candle on a tray for light and that was it. Apparently, Tribe Master Toniva never strayed far from her work.

    ¡°Juniper said she¡¯s learned a lot from you. I wanted to thank you for looking out for my daughter,¡± she said.

    ¡°I¡­¡± My voice trailed off as I instinctively started to refute her. I might have helped Juniper here and there but there was precious little she could have learned from me, nor had I really looked out for her¡ªthese special circumstances now notwithstanding. There were just certain things I had to act on.

    Internally, I shook off the uncertainty from her gratitude. It would only help with getting honest answers from the Tribe Master and that was what I needed now from her more than anything else.

    My voice firmed as I started again, ¡°I have two questions for you and I need you to answer them as honestly as you can. First, would you stop Juniper from waking the Water Frond Snake if you had another option? Second, is there anything you can tell me about the horde¡¯s surge in to the delta? Anything from around the time that it began that stands out to you, whether it has to do with the fish or not?¡±

    She regarded me in silence for a long time and I had to hold myself back from snapping at her with impatience. I only had three days.

    Finally Juniper¡¯s mother spoke, ¡°If I could stop her now I would. I have no interest in losing my daughter, but the decision to wake the Water Frond Snake belongs to the pearl bearer alone. It is their burden and duty, their choice. Trying to take that choice away from them has resulted in the near decimation of my tribe. Twice. We have learned our lesson to not interfere a third time.¡± She sighed. ¡°The pearl always seems to pick the most honorable of us, those that would always pick tribe over themselves, no matter how we try to protect them.¡±

    My jaw clenched. So Juniper had a mother who cared, lucky her, even though that same mother seemed resigned to letting Juniper do something stupid.

    Tribe Master Toniva continued, ¡°As for your second question, the killing season started off normally. They tried to break through our defenses and we beat them back. Then sometime around the mid season the fish¡¯s numbers began to increase, rapidly, until they filled the waterways from bank to bank and more of their heavy hitters came than usual. There was no warning. One day everything was normal and the next we had choke points overwhelmed from sheer numbers.¡±

    I frowned. While nothing about the fish was natural, that seemed suspicious no matter how I thought about it. There was no reason why the Lady Blue would switch tactics so suddenly unless she was as mercurial as the goddess and had lost all patience. Which was a possibility, but it was at odds with how she had acted in the past.

    Tribe Master Toniva held up a finger. ¡°I¡¯ve already told the whisper women this, but you should know that the fish aren¡¯t acting like they have in past years. They don¡¯t hide eggs and they don¡¯t fight strategically. They just swarm up the waterways and push until whatever is in front of them breaks. If it weren¡¯t for the horde¡¯s numbers and our exhaustion, this would be the easiest killing season we¡¯ve ever had.¡±

    That was interesting. It would make sense for the Lady Blue and her monsters to use their numbers and tactics to their advantage together, but less so for them to fully abandon one thing for the other. Either this was a grand misdirection on a scale that was difficult to fathom or something had caused the fish to go berserk. If it was the latter, then the horde was either trying to run away or to something and the trick would be determining what that was and eliminating it. If it was the Lady Blue, then we would be out of luck, but if it was to something then we might still have a chance. Just as if this was all a misdirection, the trick would be finding out what was worth sacrificing thousands upon thousands of fish.

    ¡°Are they pushing for the river?¡± I asked.

    Juniper¡¯s mother swept her gaze over me again before gesturing for me to follow. She led me back out in to the main area of the command post and over to the map. She tapped it. ¡°What do you think?¡±

    I studied the map closely, armed now with the information she had provided. Fighting was spread out all over the delta, but it wasn¡¯t concentrated just around the major waterways like I expected. Rather a bubble had mostly formed around Bramble Watch and the Water Frond Snake, with only the top part widening out where the defenders had stopped the fish from reaching the river. Still, those defenses had less intense fighting than the ring around us. It looked like a significant portion of the horde had turned before reaching the river in order to bring their might down on the town or snake.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    ¡°Once Juniper awakens the Water Frond Snake, we¡¯ll be able to see which is the intended target. We¡¯ve swept the area multiple times but we can¡¯t find anything new or unusual. Our best conclusion at the moment is that they either want to destroy our command or their greatest enemy in the delta, or both, before moving onto the river so we can¡¯t attack them from behind.¡±

    It was a reasonable conclusion, but like with everything else I couldn¡¯t help but think it didn¡¯t quite fit. Why abandon all other tactics but still target Bramble Watch or the Water Frond Snake? Why would the fish suddenly decide they could take out either one with sheer numbers when they hadn¡¯t been able to beat them in previous years?

    ¡°Thank you for the information.¡± Gratitude felt a bit odd on my lips, but she had given me more information than I expected her to.

    She nodded once, sharply. ¡°Fighters should have all the knowledge they can about the fight they¡¯re entering into. If you learn anything new I would appreciate it if you shared the knowledge with me so our fighters can have all the relevant information too.¡±

    I tried speaking with Juniper next, but she was holed up away somewhere for the rituals and all I could get out of the tribesfolk was that the rituals couldn¡¯t be interrupted. No one would tell me where she was and I couldn¡¯t use the shadows to jump to her either. Ziek found me in the middle of the idiotic town as I stewed in the frustration boiling in my gut.

    She peered closely at me for a long, uncomfortable moment before announcing, ¡°You need to punch something.¡±

    Part of me agreed, part of me didn¡¯t want to waste time on anything so mundane. Punching wasn¡¯t likely to get me closer to stopping Juniper so¡ª

    ¡°I promise you won¡¯t regret it.¡±

    ¡°Do you know about the Water Frond Snake?¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you tell me?¡± She held up a hand to stop me from answering her question. ¡°While getting some exercise in.¡±

    I grumbled but followed her. I needed to figure out a plan, but it was difficult to think around the rage and frustration pressing up against my ribs. Every time I got a new bit of information it just seemed to reinforce the message everything going on in the delta was outside my control. Juniper was going to do what she was going to do, the fish were going to keep acting oddly, and everyone else seemed resigned to letting it happen.

    Ziek led me to a small training yard tucked between two buildings. There were a couple targets painted on the far bramble wall for sling practice and a large basket woven out of reeds. Ziek pulled two large leather ovals out of the basket and a roll of bandages. The inside of the ovals were padded with rags and she stuck her hands into the holes on the back of each glove after tossing the bandages to me.

    ¡°Wrap your hands.¡± I did and she nodded. ¡°Aim for the middle of each pad. Punch hard and tell me what has you trying to set things on fire with your eyes.¡±

    She led me through fighting sequence after fighting sequence as I vented. Part of me wished I could keep the words locked behind my teeth¡ªI used to be better about that¡ªbut I was sure nothing I was telling her was anything she didn¡¯t already know. She was Hundred Eyes. The only reason why I hadn¡¯t known about the Water Frond Snake was that everyone seemed to have followed Juniper¡¯s lead in keeping it a secret from me until we were at Bramble Watch and it¡¯d be near impossible to separate ourselves from what was happening around us.

    ¡°Juniper is going to lose her mind trying to save her people and they¡¯re just going to be abandoned in the end.¡±

    Punch.

    ¡°No one will let me see her and she¡¯s not responding to my wind whispers.¡±

    Punch. Punch, punch, punch.

    ¡°The horde needs to be stopped but everyone is ready to give up the delta as if that will solve the problem. They aren¡¯t even bothering to figure out why the surge suddenly happened.¡±

    Punch.

    Ziek shoved my next punch down with her gloved hand and held her other to my throat in one smooth motion. If she hadn¡¯t pulled her own punch I would¡¯ve been on the ground struggling to breathe before I even fully realized what was happening.

    I blinked at her and then blinked again in shock as the rage didn¡¯t immediately try to drown out everything else. Punching her gloved hands had tamped down the aggression coursing through me and given me some small measure of control. I could hit my target. Everything wasn¡¯t helpless.

    She lowered her arms and raised her eyebrows. ¡°Sounds like you have a fair bit of work you¡¯d like to accomplish. Why not use your resources? I¡¯m sure Ingrasia told you training would continue while you were here and since Dawnli wants you heading a small team on risky missions this seems like the perfect opportunity to practice.¡±

    Ziek pulled off her padded gloves and tossed them back into the basket. ¡°Using your resources is hardly asking for help. It¡¯s just what smart leaders do.¡±

    My eyes narrowed. I knew she was goading me, purposefully pushing me towards the outcome she wanted and part of me wanted to oppose what she was doing on principle. The rest of me could recognize that what she was offering was likely my best option at the moment. There was too much that needed to be done if I wanted to stop Juniper before time ran out without destroying her pearl.

    I needed to figure out exactly what had changed before the horde¡¯s surge, if there was anyway I could stack things in Juniper¡¯s favor if she did give the Water Frond Snake her mind, figure out how to save the delta before it came to that, and navigate any complications the proxy war might create¡ªall while being unable to use the shadow paths easily and not having the authority to do half of what was needed.

    Having actual whisper women helping me, all of which who had significantly more experience as information gatherers than me, would be a huge boon.

    I nodded once and Ziek grinned. ¡°Ingrasia is in our quarters. If you want to speak with her first.¡±

    She knew I did. I made a mental note be less predictable and easily read. If I was going to make it in the Hundred Eyes sect I had to get better at making it so others wouldn¡¯t be able to manipulate me so easily. Still, I left my hands wrapped as I followed her to where we¡¯d be staying while in Bramble Watch. As a reminder that I wasn¡¯t helpless.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 36

    Hello everyone! Sorry for the radio silence about what was happening with this chapter. I thought I had posted a notice earlier but apparently that didn¡¯t happen. I had lots of family over for Thanksgiving, which while it is a privilege I¡¯m glad to have, it burnt me out way more than I thought it would. As you probably noticed I¡¯ve also been struggling with the current arc which keeps causing me to post late as I try to figure out each chapter (the downside of being a discovery writer) and those two things combined have made it very difficult finish the current chapter. This arc is both been going in the direction I thought and¡­not, which has been interesting to reconcile.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    What I want to happen, now, is to get you all Chapters 36 and 37 out this weekend, but there is a fair chance it might just be one chapter (which would make this the first time I¡¯ve missed a week since I¡¯ve started, so I will do my best to make that not the case). Thank you again for reading and for your patience. All your comments mean more than you know and I¡¯m glad to have you all as a small community even with an MC as difficult as Gimley and a dark setting in the center. I hope this wasn¡¯t too big of a peek behind the curtain and I hope you all are enjoying the holidays!

 Book 5 - Ch. 36: Priorities

    Ingrasia might not have railing she could perch on, but she still managed to settle on the highest point in our quarters. There were three pairs of shelves slightly larger than a standard bedroll grown out of the walls of our sleeping quarters and she sat with her feet dangling off one of the top bunks. If the ceiling had been tall enough she¡¯d likely be standing right on the edge, but the tribesfolk here conserved space where they could as they couldn¡¯t spread outside the confines of the wall protecting Bramble Watch.

    The thought sent a shiver of panic down my spine but I ignored it as best as I could. I wasn¡¯t trapped here, and I had better things to think about.

    Ziek leaned against the ladder leading up to a separate bunk, arms lightly crossed. Not so much that she was judging me, but waiting for me to speak. Before I could, Ana sauntered into the room from the doorway behind me before claiming the bottom shelf of the last remaining pair.

    She grinned and leaned forward. ¡°I¡¯m glad I made it in time.¡± Amusement flashed over both Ziek and Ingrasia¡¯s faces as she continued, ¡°Ziek said something about you leading us against impossible odds?¡±

    ¡°Unlikely odds,¡± Ziek huffed out.

    Ana waved a dismissive hand. ¡°That¡¯s not nearly as impressive. I think she can handle impossible odds. She has before.¡±

    I wanted to ask exactly what she was referring to, as several different possibilities came to mind¡ªthough most I had only survived due to my blessing¡ªbut Ingrasia took control of the conversation before I could push the point.

    She gestured to me. ¡°You know about the proxy war. We know about the proxy war. There¡¯s no need for pretext here. You want to save Juniper from the consequences of awakening the Water Frond Snake and stop the horde. Possibly catch the goddess¡¯s eye so you can become one of the Chosen. Is that correct?¡±

    I nodded.

    Ingrasia nodded back. ¡°It¡¯s good to have goals but you¡¯ll need to prioritize. Decide what objective is most important and go from there or you¡¯ll run out of the time or resources you need to accomplish any of it. Is Juniper¡¯s potential safety or driving off the horde more important? Are you willing to do something that jeopardizes or reveals your standing in the proxy war, or are you willing to risk that to accomplish your other goals?¡±

    I wasn¡¯t willing to give up on any of it and I said so.

    She smiled. ¡°That¡¯s good, but you still need to prioritize or you¡¯ll waffle between options when you don¡¯t have time to spare. What¡¯s your most important objective? The second most? Third?¡±

    The answer didn¡¯t come as easily as I thought it would. Stopping Juniper was wrapped up in the other things I needed to do and it was the most time sensitive objective, as Ingrasia put it, but stopping the horde could also save Juniper and it would protect us all from the goddess¡¯s wrath if the fighting here spread all the way to Her home.

    There was also a small part of me that whispered that I shouldn¡¯t be trying to stop Juniper. That by trying to save the delta before her rituals were over I was repeating my mistake with Fellen. It wasn¡¯t guaranteed that her mind would be stuck in the Water Frond Snake and she seemed more centered than she had in long time. The rest of me told that whispering voice to shut up. I¡¯d talk to her and she¡¯d understand. She had to.

    Nor did I want to admit that saving her from the Water Frond Snake had suddenly become the most pressing thing I could think about. Stopping the horde and becoming one of the Chosen were important, yes, but they didn¡¯t seem as immediate as saving Juniper¡ªeven if I had no idea how to stop her without removing the fish from the delta.

    Unless I stole the pearl or crushed it. Or kept her tied up until the threat was over, but all that definitely fueled the whispering voice that said I was making a choice that wasn¡¯t mine to make. That I wasn¡¯t going to be forgiven for making it for her.

    But I couldn¡¯t allow her to throw away her mind, especially when she was just being used in someone else¡¯s scheme that she didn¡¯t know about. The chance that she could be forced to turn on her people that she was determined to protect¡­I couldn¡¯t just stand to the side and do nothing.

    I knew what my top priority was, but I still told Ingrasia something different. ¡°Stopping the horde. Preferably within three days.¡±

    Some emotion flickered across her face, but she didn¡¯t call me out on the lie like I thought she might. Ana looked like she wanted to and Ziek studied me like she was wondering why I changed my answer from my ranting earlier, but they both followed our mentor¡¯s lead.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Instead, Ingrasia said, ¡°Then we focus on that. Impossible odds, indeed. To start, think of this as if you are in enemy territory. No one to turn to but your team. A different culture, a different understanding of common sense. No one will listen to you just because you say so, so how do you still accomplish your goals? Just gathering information isn¡¯t enough, not if you want to make a difference.¡±

    So that was her angle. Training really wasn¡¯t going to be interrupted despite the situation we had been dropped into. In fact, this training was more focused on what both she and the Sect Leader wanted me to learn than the lessons I had so far in the Seedling Palace.

    Small team management. Information gathering and synthesis. Influence. How to bring about positive results on a dangerous, impossible mission.

    Either Ingrasia really was as adaptable with her training as she claimed or they had know I¡¯d get pulled into this mess, one way or another. Perhaps both, though part of me wished I could started my training with a situation that was less dire and the stakes weren¡¯t so high.

    Where to start?

    The first step to healing any injury was learning all I could about the injury itself: how severe the damage was, how long it¡¯d been since the injury occurred, any other health concerns. I knew all I could at the moment about the situation in the delta without doing further research into how it all started in the first place, and every healer learned to recognize when the moment when it was time to act rather than gather information.

    The second step was knowing your resources: what herbs and other ingredients you had your disposal, what tools were in your bag, what combination would be best to use for your patient.

    The last step was to act and treat the injury. Depending on the length of recovery the steps could be repeated as necessary.

    I might not be able to heal, but I could pick apart a problem until I got a solution that worked. Right now, looking at the three whisper women in front me, I realized I didn¡¯t know my resources. Not fully.

    ¡°What your blessings? What are you best at?¡± I didn¡¯t want to ask my last question because I preferred to figure it out myself, but I asked it anyway. ¡°Do you have any ideas on how we can push back the horde? I don¡¯t time to observe and learn like I normally would.¡±

    Ziek smiled. ¡°Thought you¡¯d never ask. The others have nicknamed me the Hound. Give me a scent and I can follow it anywhere. Through water, wind as swift as a spirit¡¯s storm, you name and my blessing will still allow me track the smell to its source.¡±

    ¡°Can you track old scents?¡±

    She nodded. ¡°Anything up to year in the past. Even if the scent technically isn¡¯t there any more but was in the past year I can tell you how old it is and follow that old trail.¡± She glanced sidelong at Ingrasia. ¡°She used to make me find and follow her travels through the Seedling Palace. In the beginning I¡¯d get the old and new trails confused when they overlapped, but that hasn¡¯t been an issue in a long time.¡±

    ¡°What about through the shadow paths?¡±

    Ziek shook her head. ¡°Those aren¡¯t really spaces, so there¡¯s nothing to track, but if I know where to look I can pick up the trail again from where the target exited the shadow paths.¡±

    That¡­was impressive. She could track down nearly anything or anyone she wanted to as long as she knew what to sniff. I wasn¡¯t sure how her blessing could help with the current situation but it was still helpful to know.

    ¡°My blessing is a little different,¡± Ana said. ¡°I can¡­make suggestions. Most of the time I don¡¯t need it since everyone loves a little bit of gossip, but if someone is being difficult, I can strongly suggest they tell me what they know or do something. It doesn¡¯t always work, especially if the other person has a strong will or I¡¯m tired, and if I put to much into it they¡¯ll remember being coerced, so I tend to rely on my personal charm.¡±

    My eyes narrowed. ¡°Have you used it on me?¡±

    ¡°Never.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure whether to believe her, but I resolved to keep an eye out when I interacted with her in the future. All in all, they had been more forthright with the information than I expected. Ana could have easily been vaguer about her abilities to keep me from being suspicious, but I was glad they weren¡¯t as secretive as I imagined Hundred Eyes whisper women would be. He blessing could certainly be helpful, but, like she said, it was something that was likely best used sparingly.

    Ziek answered my second question I had asked. ¡°I¡¯m best with weapons work, fighting, tracking, that sort of thing.¡± Which again made me wonder why she had joined this sect, but I kept that to myself. She added, ¡°Ana¡¯s best with others. Getting them to talk, organizing, identifying strengths and weaknesses and what they might be hiding.¡±

    Ziek looked to Ingrasia who took the cue to talk. ¡°You already know my blessing. I¡¯ve been the game so long I can do a bit of everything. Talking, spying, fighting. Just let me know what needs doing I¡¯ll do it¡ªas long as I¡¯m not doing your training for you.¡±

    I nodded. I knew better than to ask Ingrasia to do every little thing. They might say that I was leading the team for my training, but she was still our mentor. There¡¯d be no point to the training if she solved every problem and question for me, nor would I want her to, but there was still my last question I had asked.

    I swept my gaze over all three of them. ¡°And do you have any ideas on how we can stop the horde in three days? My top ideas are letting Juniper give her mind to the Water Frond Snake, poisoning all the waterways, figuring out what started the surge this year in the first place so we can reverse it, but I don¡¯t like any of them. They¡¯re either too risky or could take too long.¡±

    Ingrasia leaned forward. ¡°A good start. Let¡¯s see if we can work out the kinks.¡±

    We talked for hours then, debating ideas, building off each other¡¯s suggestions. It took far longer than I wanted and by the end of it I wasn¡¯t sure we even had a plan that could realistically work, but it was the best that we had come up with. It was also split into two different versions: one in which Juniper became the Water Frond Snake and one where she did the sensible thing and kept her mind to herself. The second variation was even more tenuous than the first but it was a contingency I wouldn¡¯t budge on.

    Juniper had finally responded to my whispers on the wind. I would have my chance to convince her of the best thing to do after her first ritual was complete that night.

 Book 5 - Ch. 37: Stubborn Pride

    I found Juniper in one of Bramble Watch¡¯s rare ground level areas after the sun had already gone down. Two pine trees grew slightly offset from each other, but their roots wove together in such a way that it kept the surrounding ground in place. It felt spongy to walk on, but not to the point I thought I would plunge a foot through it if I jumped. The tribesfolk had grown their bramble wall around the small area and two sentries watched the surrounding landscape from the top of the wall. Within the walls everything glowed. Lines, dots, larger spots, all glowed greenish-white as they swirled across the tree¡¯s trunks and roots, spongy ground, and the walls¡ªthough nothing went higher than the bottom half of the wall. Taking a closer look at the glowing section closest to me, I saw that it was some sort of paste that had been painstakingly painted onto the bramble vines, thick in some places and thinner in others, seemingly on purpose based on how even the applications were.

    I took a step back, blinked, and an image resolved from the glowing paste and contrasting dark surface behind it. A tree full of blooming flowers and hanging vines. The artist had even used the unevenness of the walls to add some texture to the painting.

    Taking in the other scenes I could pick out, I saw Juniper¡¯s mother, more nature scenes, battles between fish and people. Some abstract bits that didn¡¯t look like anything in particular. However, that all paled in comparison to the image that covered the entire bottom half of the back wall. The Water Frond Snake coiled around itself again and again, head dead center and mouth opened to strike at its next victim. The head jutted out from wall to form a morbid, glowing seat that Juniper watched me from.

    She wasn¡¯t in her normal clothes. Her entire outfit was white, highly impractical and exactly like the Water Frond Snake. It even had stitching reminiscent of snake scales to push the impression, though I didn¡¯t remember seeing actual scales on the snake. It was also a dress, which I doubted I¡¯d seen her wear before. Pale twigs were tied to the sides of her head to match the snake¡¯s fronds and her hair was down which I knew was a rarity. The pearl was on full display on her forehead and she was looking at me like she expected criticism.

    I settled on a thick root halfway across the small space even though I wanted to drag her off her self made throne or even simply pace back and forth. There was little doubt about who the artist was behind all the paintings. I still remembered how good she had been at the drawing portion of our lessons in the Seed Landing. But I couldn¡¯t start with aggression. Juniper was making a point by meeting with me here and I wasn¡¯t about to lose the first part of the battle by falling into her pace and doing what she likely expected me to do.

    Juniper¡¯s lips pressed together when she realized I wasn¡¯t going to speak first. She tried to control the conversation anyway. ¡°I know you¡¯ve learned about the Water Frond Snake and have been wanting to speak with me.¡±

    I just watched her. I needed her to make her argument first so I knew what angle I needed to take in order to change her mind.

    A flicker of a frown and then she placed her hand on the constructed snake head. ¡°I made this after the first time I joined the Water Frond Snake. I wanted to capture what it felt like.¡±

    ¡°Did it feel like being swallowed whole?¡± I let her bait me. Knowing how she felt was just as important as knowing her argument. Both could be used to my advantage and I needed everything I could get if I was going to pry her away from the idea that she had to give her mind to the Water Frond Snake.

    ¡°It felt like being made whole. I finally had a purpose I could fulfill, a way to help my people, rather than just pining for the day that I would join the whisper women and hoping that something might change. No questions, no doubts, just killing the enemy.¡±

    My jaw clenched. That sort of conviction wouldn¡¯t be easy to break.

    But I also wasn¡¯t about to give up before I had even really tried.

    ¡°You have other ways you can fight. There¡¯s that water bubble trap you do and you have your boons.¡±

    Juniper shook her head. ¡°That¡¯s not enough. The boons aren¡¯t combat focused and the water trap is too slow, especially with the fish in the delta. I need to do what I can to keep my people from being overrun.¡±

    ¡°The delta is going to be abandoned.¡± Inwardly, I flinched. The statement had come out sharper than I intended, but perhaps it was best to be heavy handed. Juniper didn¡¯t seem like she was going listen to anything solely based in logic. ¡°Whether you give your mind to the Water Frond Snake or not. You¡¯ll be risking yourself for no reason. The tribesfolk won¡¯t be able to stay here.¡±

    Her back straightened. ¡°The Swirling Waters tribe have held our own here year after year without help. We¡¯ll defend our home or die trying¡ªno matter what the whisper women do.¡±The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°You¡¯re a whisper woman.¡± Sapling was close enough to count.

    ¡°I¡¯m the Pearl Bearer first.¡±

    I glared at her. She had always been set on killing the fish and getting back to her people to protect them, but I hadn¡¯t thought she¡¯d throw away everything else so easily. I wondered if I would be acting the same way if I was given the opportunity to heal again, without consequence, except for possibly trapping myself and hurting those I meant to save.

    Part of me insisted that I would take the opportunity without question if it was offered. The part of me that craved healing. But I craved it because it was a skill I built up through sweat and tears and no small difficulty. I had made it my own. A part of my identity that I had slowly been cleaving from myself for years.

    Perhaps Juniper was the same¡­except she had never been forced to cut herself from the thing she identified with. She always had the pearl, used it even for the water bubble trap. She always had the conviction that she would return here, to the delta, and fight the fish, just like she was planning to do. And that conviction had only grown stronger when she hadn¡¯t been able to outshine everyone else in our cohort. When she struggled with her sling and being up high and the shadow paths. When Ento and Idra abandoned her for reasons I still didn¡¯t know or understand.

    Every time she had trouble she likely had comforted herself with the thought that she still had the pearl. That only she could give her mind to that storming snake to fight the fish and protect the tribesfolk. No whisper woman could do that. Neither could any of her tribe¡¯s fighters, her mother. They might be able to fight from the walkways and leave Bramble Watch without panicking, but they would all still be forced to turn to her, the Pearl Bearer, with things turned dire.

    She was sure that things would change then. That she would feel fulfilled and accomplished and that she really would be able to turn back the horde on her own.

    Nothing I said mattered. I wouldn¡¯t be able to change her mind or stop her. I knew stubborn pride well and she was radiating it in thick waves. She needed this and she would force everything she could into making it happen.

    My priorities changed.

    I still didn¡¯t want her stuck in the Water Frond Snake or being used without her knowledge, but she had made it abundantly clear that she didn¡¯t care about the circumstances. She just wanted a straight fight against the fish using the most effective weapon she knew, a weapon only she could use.

    She could have her fight.

    After speaking with the others we had a plan¡ªtwo actually¡ªfor bringing her back to herself. I wouldn¡¯t have thought them possible before, but I also wasn¡¯t used to always factoring others¡¯ blessings into my plans, especially when they weren¡¯t within my immediate group.

    Now I was more concerned about what came after. What she might do if realized she couldn¡¯t keep up with this horde of fish even as the Water Frond Snake or that the delta truly would be abandoned. Right now she thought she could do enough to change that¡­but based on what I knew of the proxy war I had my doubts.

    However, I was sure of one thing: if I couldn¡¯t stop her from making the mistake in the first place, she would only give her mind to the Water Frond Snake once. That¡¯s where I had gone wrong with Fellen. I had tried to force her hand before she was able to even act on her convictions. This time, no matter how much I didn¡¯t like it, I had to give Juniper the chance to fail, so that afterwards she couldn¡¯t say she didn¡¯t even get the chance to try. After that, no matter how much she hated me, I take more extreme measures to stop her from giving her mind to the Water Frond Snake. The costs weren¡¯t worth it, especially when there were other options.

    Still, I had one last thing to say, ¡°When I was frozen all I could think about was getting warm, but I couldn¡¯t shiver, couldn¡¯t even blink. I needed to get warm, I was desperate for it, but I was helpless¡ªand that was the true agony. No matter how much it physically hurt, no matter how much I told myself that I couldn¡¯t die so it didn¡¯t matter, I was desperate to get warm and there wasn¡¯t a single thing I could do change the bone chilling cold. Nothing.

    ¡°I understand that when you give your mind to Water Frond Snake there¡¯s a similar need to fight. You¡¯ve done it once, so you know. Perhaps you¡¯re certain you won¡¯t get stuck or that you¡¯ll tie yourself into knots before you can attack your people. All I can say is that I wouldn¡¯t wish that state on anyone and that whatever control you think you have doesn¡¯t matter in the face of it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not frozen now,¡± she pointed out.

    I stood. ¡°Only because of Prevna.¡±

    Juniper crossed her arms. ¡°I don¡¯t need you save me.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see.¡± I turned to leave but stopped when she spoke again.

    ¡°I thought you¡¯d try harder to stop me based on all those whispers you sent.¡±

    My jaw clenched. ¡°Are you going to change your mind?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    My glare turned into a glower. ¡°Then I¡¯m not going to waste my breath. You think this is the best thing you can do? Fine, risk it. I¡¯ll pick up the pieces after.¡±

    She stood too but with a stomp. ¡°What else am I supposed to do?¡±

    All sorts of answers rose up on my tongue and¡­died. I could tell her about the plans I had made for fighting the fish, and I would, but that wasn¡¯t what she was asking. Not really.

    Nothing quite had filled the hole that healing had left after I ripped and cut out piece after piece of it. Learning poison was an interesting but poor substitute while becoming a skilled whisper woman was fulfilling in its own way but it wasn¡¯t same refuge healing had been.

    But healing was in the past now. I had made the decision to move on, so it had to stay that way.

    I gave Juniper an honest answer. ¡°I¡¯m still figuring it out.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t help.¡±

    I glanced around the decorated space. ¡°You could draw. You seem to like it enough.¡±

    She scoffed. ¡°How is that supposed to help with fighting?¡±

    ¡°Who said you had to be a fighter?¡± I asked. ¡°We¡¯re in the Hundred Eyes sect. You know enough to protect yourself, I doubt Ziek and Ingrasia expected much more than that.¡±

    She looked conflicted, but not enough to stray from her current course.

    I added, ¡°Think on it.¡±

    Then I left. If I couldn¡¯t save Juniper from her convictions, then I¡¯d just have to make sure I could save her from the aftermath, and for that plans had to be put in place.

 Notice About Book 5 - Ch. 38

    Hey everyone, I wasn''t able to get the chapter done earlier like I had planned and I have a family member''s birthday celebration tonight so I don''t think I''ll be able to get it done on time again unfortunately. With the holidays I''ll likely get it posted by Friday or Saturday, and I''m still planning having chapter 39 posted next weekend as well. So I want to apologize again for not posting on time and having to delay the chapter, as well as thank you for your patience! I hope you all have a happy holiday season! One of my goals for the new year is to get my schedule and time management in order so that I don''t have to keep posting these notices and you all will get the chapters consistently. I know I''ve been saying that for a bit but I''ll do my best to actually get it in order this time. Thanks again for your patience!Stolen novel; please report.

 Book 5 - Ch. 38: A Thousand Cuts

    My patron had sent the fish into hiding once with a thousand devastating cuts. I had nothing quite as dramatic as that, but I figured that when fighting an endless enemy her methods held a simple lesson: continuous harm had more impact than a single well placed blow.

    But just cutting blindly at the horde wouldn¡¯t turn them back, either. Our forces would wear down first, hence the Tribe Master¡¯s plea and our involvement. We needed to stop the flow of fish and other monstrous creatures into the delta, make them pay for every inch they traveled up stream until even the horde couldn¡¯t continue with the losses forced on them.

    I couldn¡¯t stop Juniper from becoming the Water Frond Snake, so the three day limit mattered less, but at some point the whisper women were going to abandon the delta and that was deadline I couldn¡¯t ignore. For Juniper, we had to get as many of the tribe¡¯s people out before they became collateral damage, but it would be a delicate balance as the delta¡¯s defenders were the main force holding the horde at bay.

    I set Ana on coordinating with the tribesfolk and making sure Juniper¡¯s mother knew about the proxy war so that she knew the help she asked for to save the delta wasn¡¯t exactly what she¡¯d be receiving. They¡¯d have the Water Frond Snake like she requested, sure, but they wouldn¡¯t be getting their chance to rest and recover. It was questionable whether there¡¯d even be a delta for them to defend once the fight was finished.

    Ziek was looking into what had caused the horde¡¯s behavior to change and why they were encircling Bramble Watch rather than continuing up the river. Even without a tangible scent to track the others had been clear that she was the best at following a trial to its bitter end. If anyone had a chance of finding out leads on that front, it was her, and I hoped she found an answer or two we could use our advantage.

    Ingrasia was no longer in the delta. I knew I couldn¡¯t ask her to do menial tasks, that would be a waste, and Ziek and Ana had the main two issues handled that would otherwise distract me from the fight. So, instead, I asked her to use the authority only she had in our group to negotiate. The fish shouldn¡¯t be the only ones allowed to have reinforcements in this exchange.

    I immersed myself in understanding the battle. I made sure I had every lookout post and walkway memorized. Every fighter and their status¡ªactive, injured, recovering¡ªcategorized and connected into the chain of command as well as Tribe Master Toniva and her advisers. I memorized the tribe¡¯s support network and supply lines, the fish¡¯s estimated numbers and where they were concentrating their attacks. As the Tribe Master had told me it seemed as if they were forgoing all tactics and just throwing themselves forward until numbers eventually won them the fight which wasn¡¯t at all like I remembered from the shore.

    At first, I could tell that the others and Tribe Master Toniva doubted whether I could memorize and understand all the information I was taking in, but I had plenty of space around my memory tent now for new information and a mental map already made to hook the new knowledge into place. I was a bit irritated that I had to spend so much space on people I didn¡¯t know and likely wouldn¡¯t meet, but preparation was important¡ªboth for healing a wound and having a successful hunt. Making the wrong call because I didn¡¯t know how many fighters we had and the state they were in seemed like an idiotic move. I mollified myself with the mental note that I could take the mental space back at the end of my time in the delta with a lot less anguish than the first time I cut information out.

    Nor could I fully deny the satisfaction I felt with learning the influx of information, of categorizing it and getting it situated in my mind for easy retrieval. The confidence I gained by feeling like I knew all the information currently available on a subject. There was something to be said for knowing a subject inside and out.

    I couldn¡¯t do anything too visible to the delta while Juniper was still able to protest. She was still expected her people to have a home after the fighting while I had been informed that the goddess no longer protected the pine trees in the delta. That offered a lot more possibilities for what I could do to fight the fish¡ªand plenty of tribes were nomadic. Juniper¡¯s people could make a new home for themselves as long as they were alive.

    I disregarded every concern that centered on the delta¡¯s state in the future and instead focused on the short term gains of what would win us the fight now. Victory by a thousand cuts. All fighters still defending the smaller channels were pulled back to help reinforce the parameter around Bramble Watch and the river mouth, but only after numerous traps were placed so that the fish killed themselves as they swarmed into the suddenly undefended areas. Strike teams were enforced to go after the stronger fish and other creatures, so that they¡¯d be killed before they could break through the regular defenses.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    My idea to poison the water turned out not to be viable as the water itself diluted the poison before it did anything, nor did I have enough ingredients or time to make enough poison to saturate even a small waterway, but my next idea had a bit more merit.

    Growing up in a waterhole tribe, I knew my fair share about waterborne parasites. Most only affected the fish the tribe hunted or other wildlife, but some I would have to help treat when a huntress or child got infected from being in the water. Most weren¡¯t lethal, especially when caught right away, but I remembered an tribe elder telling a horror story about one that got in the gills of the fish, ultimately killing it, and somehow turning the meat bad so the tribe living off the lake was forced to relocate after lots of hardship and struggle.

    Ingrasia¡¯s first negotiation was prying information out of the Beastwatchers about a parasite that matched the story. Apparently, they were more than reluctant to share information about one of their top eradication targets due to how quickly the parasite could ruin the fish population in a lake and they had their doubts about the parasites ability to survive in brackish, flowing water. Ingrasia still worked out the information in a matter of hours before getting a handful of infected fish from somewhere and dumping them into the delta. Just like that, our first recruits had arrived, even if they didn¡¯t know it. If the parasites were able to infect the fish soldiers that would be the best outcome, but otherwise they¡¯d get flushed out into the ocean and be unable to survive in the salty water.

    A warning was given out to the Beastwatchers in the area so they would know to keep an eye out for any potential parasite ridden fish going towards First Shore Lake, but otherwise Ingrasia didn¡¯t hesitate to take action. She said that since I was acting as the team leader my decisions were final. I had hesitated at first before going forward with the idea, but the fact was that things couldn¡¯t stay as they were, and the more things we could do that the fish couldn¡¯t anticipate, the more blows we could strike against them, and needed every strike we could get.

    My plan was to eventually take the waterways away from the fish so that they would be forced to travel overland and be easier pickings for the delta¡¯s fighters, but that had been a sticking point in my discussion with the others. On one hand, taking away their easy travel option would also take away a terrain advantage the fish have and make it easier to kill them, but, on the other hand, taking away the waterways could push the fish to widen where they were attacking from and into ground we didn¡¯t have enough people to cover. There was also multiple arguments made for how to push the fish onto land if we did go that route, but none of it had to be finalized until the Water Frond Snake started to move. According to the tribesfolk, it was best follow in the Snake¡¯s wake with traps or other plans as it could be a destructive force in its own right.

    Part of me, a small part, itched for Juniper complete her rituals and start her rampage with the Water Frond Snake now that I knew for sure that I couldn¡¯t talk her out of it, so I could move forward with my own plans, while the rest of me still hoped she¡¯d change her mind at the last moment and help us fight the fish another way.

    My respect for the Swirling Waters Tribe grew every day. They never let the pressure up on the fish, never complained about the endless fighting, and they never slacked at their post whether it was standing for hours as a lookout or killing fish after fish. They, more than anything else so far, were acting as the thousand cuts against the horde. It was a way of life for them. The only problem was their reluctance to stray too far from their habits, as they had trouble thinking of any new strategies to use against the fish and they balked at any plan that hinted at the idea that they might not be able to live in the delta in the future.

    Ana was able to smooth over the problems more easily than I ever would have. I wasn¡¯t sure if she was using her blessing, or if she could be that persuasive all on her own, but she was able to push the plans we discussed through without the tribesfolk rising up in revolt.

    All in all, the waterways ran yellow with fish blood as Juniper completed her rituals day after day, but it wasn¡¯t nearly enough to turn back the scaled tide before we ran out of time to stop her. We would have needed ten thousand more cuts before we did enough damage to turn back the horde pressing in on the delta.

    We didn¡¯t see each other in the time leading up to the final ceremony. She stayed in separate quarters that were specifically for the Pearl Bearer. Nor did we trade more than a few whispers on the wind about the situation in the delta. She had made her choice and part of that seemed to be keeping me separated from her during the process. I wasn¡¯t sure if she thought I would change her mind or if the rituals simply specified no outside contact, and I didn¡¯t try to hard to find out either way. I got my plans in place, learned everything I could, and then watched with the rest of the crowd as Juniper woke up the Water Frond Snake.

 Book 5 - Ch. 39: Awakening the Water Frond Snake

    While there wasn¡¯t any true respite from the horde¡¯s unending assault on the delta, everyone who could joined the procession to watch Juniper wake the Water Frond Snake. She led the crowd in the same ceremonial clothes she had worn when I saw her among her drawings, chin lifted high and shoulders thrown back with pure determined pride. Her mother, Tribe Master Toniva, walked a step behind her to her right. She presented a stoic face for her people but I could tell from the tension running from her shoulders to her hands that she wanted to drag her daughter back to Bramble Watch and insist that the coast get frozen over instead. The tribe leaders of the allegiant tribes followed a step behind  her and from there the crowd flowed from their best warriors to the rest.

    I could see how Juniper thought she had to contribute to the fight or be worth nothing, even if her circumstances were different now. If she let go of the past, she might even be able to flourish among the Hundred Eyes sect.

    The whisper women and I kept ourselves separate from the main group as we traveled a route similar to the one I had taken with Kaylan to see the Water Frond Snake. This time, however, we went directly to the path leading up to the Snake¡¯s mouth rather than tromping all over its back.

    I had hardly seen Esie since coming to Bramble Watch. I wasn¡¯t sure if she was simply content to leave in my official mentor¡¯s care since Ingrasia had come to the delta or if she was busy with her own plots or if she wanted to see what I would do left to my own devices now that we were in the delta. Or some combination of all three, but as we walked I caught her watching me like she waiting for me to do something. Kaylan was also watching me from her other side.

    Ziek was a bolstering presence at my back while Ingrasia walked on the walkway¡¯s railing as if it was the normal path¡ªeven when she had to leap from side to side to avoid low branches blocking her way. She had come back specifically to see the ceremony. Ana flashed a bright smile and drew anyone who looked like they were about to question Ingrasia¡¯s choices into conversation. Hattie was more than happy to chat away with her. Ambervale looked like she building up the worst headache of her life through impotent frustration, Nix was focused on seeing the upcoming ceremony, and Morwen seemed bored with the whole thing.

    They had all been busy, presumably with preparations for the proxy war, while I had been busy with my own plans. What was interesting, was that they had allowed me to coordinate with Tribe Master Toniva through Ana without interfering about the current fighting. Which meant they either didn¡¯t realize I was the one behind some of the recent strategic changes rather than Ana or Ingrasia, or they thought that it didn¡¯t matter in the grand scheme of things. I was just a brand new Sapling, after all.

    ¡°What?¡± I asked in response to Esie and Kaylan¡¯s stares.

    ¡°You were pretty upset when you learned the truth about the Water Frond Snake¡­¡± Kaylan ventured, her tone somewhere between concerned and curious.

    I set my shoulders. ¡°She made her choice, so I made mine.¡±

    ¡°And that is?¡± Esie prompted.

    ¡°Wait and see.¡±

    Ingrasia laughed. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have pulled her around by the nose so much if you wanted her to be honest with you.¡±

    Esie smiled. ¡°I always look forward to Gimley¡¯s surprises.¡±

    I glowered at her but it wasn¡¯t long after that we arrived at the Water Frond Snake and all conversation petered out. Juniper and her mother walked up the short pathway until they stood right outside the Water Frond Snake¡¯s gaping mouth. When they turned to face the crowd I was once again hit with the understanding that no matter how much I wished it, I couldn¡¯t have shifted Juniper from this course, not once she learned the delta was in danger. One way or another, she would have fought and bled until she was here, standing in those clothes, about to give her mind away to some constructed beast. This was where she thought she belonged¡ªand with her blessing mark covered she looked it too, except for one single irrefutable bit of evidence.

    Her black shadow stained lips. Even from the distance I stood at I could see that she had tried to cover them with something¡ªsome lip staining plant or paint, but the darkness bled through. It couldn¡¯t be denied.

    I smiled at the bittersweet thought. What pain my blessing brought me, the difficulties we faced on the path to becoming whisper women, those lips and the shadow touched lips of all the women around me, were a mark that we had taken a step forward. That no matter how hard we tried, we couldn¡¯t return to the past we had before drinking shadows.

    Juniper included.

    Well, she could wake the Water Frond Snake, and hopefully that would open her eyes to the fact that this whole thing was similar to the water bubble trap she used on the fish. Something that was supposed to fit, to be their preferred terrain, but the water was just wrong enough that it killed them instead.

    Only I wouldn¡¯t allow the trap to kill Juniper.

    Tribe Master Toniva stepped forward and spoke, ¡°We have fought, we have feasted, we have prayed, and now the Pearl Bearer stands before us all, cleansed and ready to uphold her sacred duty.¡±Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

    ¡°May her mind stay clear! May the fish flee in fear!¡± The tribe called in unison.

    I thought it was telling that the first thing they asked for, before Juniper had even given her mind to the Snake, was for them not to get attacked from the drive to fight overwhelming her.

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Tribe Master Toniva agreed. ¡°The waterways will run yellow with the blood of our enemies. They will be slaughtered beneath the might of our great defender so that we might recover and sleep through a night without the sound of slings whistling through the air to accompany our dreams.¡±

    ¡°May her mind stay clear! May the fish flee in fear!¡±

    ¡°When all is said and done,¡± Tribe Master Toniva continued, ¡°the great snake will curl back into slumber and the Pearl Bearer will return to us so that we may reward her for her great accomplishments.¡±

    ¡°May her mind stay clear! May the fish flee in fear!¡±

    Tribe Master Toniva turned back to her daughter and gestured toward the Water Frond Snake. For barest fraction of a second I saw Juniper hesitate. From what I understood this was the first time she had actually gone through the ceremony to wake up the Water Frond Snake. Her first time, it had been a slap-dash affair where there hadn¡¯t been a known Pearl Bearer but somehow Juniper had managed to get her hands on the pearl and then escape to where the Snake rested, despite her fear of heights, in order to wake it up. The tribe had found her body after noticing the rampaging Water Frond Snake and put two and two together, but it seemed there was more than a little uncertainty about whether or not she could pull herself out off the overwhelming instinct to fight a second time¡ªunless the Swirling Waters tribe always used such poor encouraging statements in the ceremony.

    Then Juniper reset her shoulders and strode into the Water Frond Snake¡¯s mouth. She stepped the bone bowl and offerings so that she could press her forehead to the stone where the snake¡¯s throat would be.

    At first nothing happened and tension roiled through the crowd almost like a storm about to burst. Everyone strained to see some sign that the transfer was successful, that their brutal guardian would awaken to protect them like it was supposed to.

    Juniper fell backward and her mother caught her, easily sweeping her up into her arms before she could fall onto the shrine. The pearl pulsed in a shining silver blaze and an echoing blaze of light burst from the Water Frond Snake¡¯s head before racing away towards the tip of its tail, tracing an otherwise invisible pattern of scales. Another pulse of light from pearl and snake, only this one was accompanied by a shudder that also shook the walkway beneath our feet.

    I heard someone mutter, ¡°Will it hold?¡±

    A third blaze of silver light followed by a larger shudder from the Snake and Juniper¡¯s mother leapt from the beast¡¯s mouth with her body moments before it snapped closed. I purposefully locked away any speculation about what might have happened if she hadn¡¯t leapt free in time. Now wasn¡¯t the time for it. Instead, I had to focus on keeping my feet as it felt like the walkway or the trees holding it up would fall.

    I looked up just in time to see the silver blaze coalesce into the Water Frond Snake¡¯s eye sockets. A rasping sound like a thousand needles being brushed over at once filled the air and then the Water Frond Snake was moving, shrinking, sliding through the branches holding it up and down into the waterway below.

    Unable to help myself, I sent out a whisper on the wind to Juniper, hoping for any sort of response that showed she was okay. I didn¡¯t hear anything back but Ana sucked in a breath and said, ¡°She goes to fight.¡±

    I sucked in a breath as well. I had used part of the boon I had gained from the Twin Founts and peeled back the layer of wind that normally blocked me from hearing other whisper women¡¯s wind whispered conversations when they wanted to keep them private, so I could hear them if they tried anything while we traveled together. So I heard Juniper¡¯s response to Ana¡¯s inquiry if she was fine after the transition. I hadn¡¯t even realized that we could send anything besides words on the wind until that moment.

    All Juniper had projected was a a deep seated need to defend her home and an even stronger, desperate instinct to fight, to decimate any fish who dared cross her path.

    I shifted to run after the Water Frond Snake but Ana caught my wrist and shook her head. ¡°She was still able to respond. She isn¡¯t lost. We need to do our part as well.¡±

    I gritted my teeth before I managed to nod and she let go.

    Then came the sound of ominous creaking before a wet, booming splash filled the air. It was followed one after another by similar creaks and groans and then loud splashes. Sometimes the thunk of wood on wood. The tribesfolk, those not in the know, fearfully asked what was going on while the rest of us looked up to see if a night sky raced in to overtake the current morning gloom.

    But despite the increasing number of twisted pine trees falling to their doom, the goddess didn¡¯t step through the shadows and condemn us to spending the cold season planting a forest¡¯s worth of trees with only our fingers in the cold season.

    We hadn¡¯t wanted to brazenly bring down the trees ourselves, that still felt too sacrilegious, but dirt scooped out beneath roots to destabilize a tree, a few cuts made here and there, already fallen or dead wood used for leverage and such and it wouldn¡¯t take much to send the trees falling.

    The Water Frond Snake was a large, monstrous thing, no matter how Juniper could change its size to fit into different waterways and its fighting was never gentle or subtle. We knew that Juniper would like take the shortest route to the closest batch of fish once the Water Frond Snake was awakened, so we set up a test.

    It took no little bit of convincing to overcome one of the most important rules that was ingrained in us since we were young: never damage a living pine tree. But there was evidence that trees had been damaged previously during fighting in the delta without repercussions and it was more than time to us that to our advantage. So, while doing enough that we could still have some plausible deniability, we had used a select group to prepare multiple trees on the Water Frond Snake¡¯s predicted route.

    Now that preparation was paying off. Tree after tree fell into the waterway after the Water Frond Snake passed through, blocking passage upriver so that the fish would be forced to cross overland or waste time trying to cut their way through. Other traps could be seeded among the fallen trees to make the cost of trying to continue to use the waterway even higher.

    The fish had two main advantages: their ability to fight and breathe in the water, and their numbers. With this, I had taken my first step at removing one of the two.

 Book 5 - Ch. 40: The Lady Protests Too Much

    Even with Juniper rampaging around the delta as the Water Frond Snake and destroying fish soldiers wherever she went, fighting the horde felt akin to standing beneath a waterfall with no way to reach its top to stem the flow. So the water pounded, pounded, pounded against you while you tried every trick in living memory to stay standing. But no matter what you did the water kept coming, as strong as ever.

    Perhaps an observer would ask why those of us in the waterfall didn¡¯t simply step back out of the pressure, and I would ask them if they would step in against the flow to replace us or leave it to continue unimpeded?

    We might only be able to slow the force beating down on us, but that would hopefully buy us the time we needed to redirect the waterfall into something manageable. I, for one, wasn¡¯t about to run away from the challenge.

    We used traps, ambushes, hemmed in the horde¡¯s movement between the frozen channels and the handful we risked blocking with fallen trees. Every time they splashed into the water we looked to the sky, but the goddess¡¯s wrath didn¡¯t come. I told myself it was because She no longer cared about this region, but I couldn¡¯t rid myself of the feeling that She was simply waiting to see how far we dared to go. The goddess wasn¡¯t known for being patient, but there was a story or two that showed Her allowing the culprit to build their funeral pyre piece by piece, indiscretion after indiscretion.

    Still, blocking the waterways we did proved vital into forcing the fish onto land and into the killing fields. The fighters were able to kill them in droves and with less effort than it took to haul the fish out of the waterways themselves. Between that and the Water Frond Snake, the fish were dying faster than they ever had before.

    But it wasn¡¯t enough. For every fish we killed, it was if two or three arrived in the delta to replace it. The Swirling Waters tribe grew more exhausted by the day. They had expected a reprieve with the Water Frond Snake¡¯s awakening but it never came. Nor were they blind to the preparations being done at the river¡¯s mouth, preparations all done by whisper women that didn¡¯t include them. Moral dropped.

    The tribespeople grudgingly kept working with my group, since we were still making a difference in the fight, but everyone else was suddenly rebuffed. The Swirling Waters tribe would pay the proper respect to the whisper women, but they no longer gave helpful answers to questions and the summoning branch was often ¡°missing¡±, so that if the whisper women wanted to get somewhere they¡¯d have to go by foot rather than by shadow.

    It was petty and I was privately proud of the tribesfolk for standing up for themselves¡ªuntil it became my problem. I had been busy helping coordinate ambushes and brainstorming more ways we could kill fish when I was interrupted.

    Rather than waste time setting up in a different location than the tribesfolk, I had been given a small corner of the command post to work from. Ana was still the one mainly interacting with the tribe¡¯s leaders, but by working out of the command post I was able to keep up with most of what was happening without her having to relay every little thing. I had noticed some of the whisper women approach Tribe Master Toniva before they were redirected to Ana. After they spoke with her they had always left the command post and I had ignored the curiosity as a low priority while I tried to pick apart the puzzle of stopping the horde and the timing of their sudden fervor.

    This time, however, Ambervale began stalking towards me after she spoke with Ana. Ana flashed me a smile that said she was excited to see how I handled the problem she just sent my way. No doubt she¡¯d say it was for my training later.

    I pretended not to notice Ambervale as she cut in front of a messenger and nearly caused him to trip onto the map laid out in the middle of the floor. From what I knew, she likely didn¡¯t want anything that was worth my time nor was she a whisper woman that inspired fear or respect. All she had been doing since we got to Bramble Watch was demand that different tribesfolk tell her their experience fighting the fish and what amounted to sightseeing. Apparently, she had spent a minimal amount of time at the river¡¯s mouth, but otherwise she had been spotted going to the Water Frond Snake before it had awoken, wandering all around the outpost, and showing up to watch various battles all around the delta while never seeming to notice when her presence caused complications.

    A throat cleared nosily from slightly behind me and to my left, but I didn¡¯t turn around to face her. Instead, I glowered at the poor list of ideas on my writing slate. Some part of me had hoped that by seeing them outside my head it would help more ideas come, but they were stubbornly absent. I still had one of my original ideas, the one to strike at the horde¡¯s heart in the ocean that Ambervale had so enthusiastically shot down at the top of Seedling Palace, but, unfortunately, I didn¡¯t have the resources to carry it out.

    Ambervale took another step toward me and spoke, ¡°The tribe won¡¯t answer my questions.¡±

    I continued to ignore her. For all her supposed knowledge on the Lady Blue and her sea monsters, she had offered very little input on how to fight the horde and what information had been pulled out of her had been so basic that it was useless. They were ¡°less agile on land¡± and ¡°less dangerous if fought on their own rather than in a group¡±. As if anyone couldn¡¯t put that together themselves after observing the fish for a minute. It made me wonder if she really had as much information as she touted or if she just hoarded it all for herself.

    ¡°You can¡¯t ignore me. I¡¯m your superior.¡±Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

    I kept my eyes on my slate for another five deliberate heartbeats before slowing setting it down and turning to face her. When I smiled it was more condescending than kind.

    ¡°Hardly. Especially when you¡¯re coming to me to beg for favors.¡±

    She drew herself up. ¡°You¡ª¡±

    ¡°I am doing what needs to be done. Can you say the same?¡± I knew pressing her wasn¡¯t the best move, but the way she acted like she was the smartest person in the room only to make some inane or unhelpful point made me want to drag her through the mud until her face matched the clumps of dirt that must make up her mind.

    ¡°You can¡¯t speak to me like that. You¡¯re a Sapling. I need to collect information and the tribesfolk won¡¯t speak to me.¡±

    I gestured across the room to Tribe Master Toniva. ¡°So talk to their leader.¡±

    ¡°I did and she wouldn¡¯t talk to me either. Just said I had to speak to Ana, who always says I have to speak to her leader. I thought she meant Ingrasia, but she hasn¡¯t been responding to my whispers, and today Ana clarified that for some unfathomable reason she meant you.¡±

    I crossed my arms and smirked. ¡°You sound popular.¡±

    Her face flushed from embarrassment or anger, though more likely from some mixture of the two. ¡°I need to conduct my research.¡±

    ¡°Conduct it later. In case you were too blind to notice, we are in the middle of a war and the horde is winning. I¡¯m not going to tell people to waste time sitting down to tell you a story when they could be doing anything else and be more productive.¡± She looked ready to interrupt but I held up a hand and glared her into submission. ¡°Perhaps if you bothered to help them survive they would be more willing to answer your questions.¡±

    ¡°They should never have thought that they could stand against the Devouring Blue, especially now against the full might of her horde. But they are learning, just as everyone else will when I complete my research, but it needs to be done now before the situation changes.¡± She stood utterly assured as she proclaimed the Swirling Waters tribe¡¯s apparent folly in their own command post.

    I raised my eyebrows at her. ¡°Were they supposed to roll over and die?¡±

    ¡°They could show the proper respect,¡± she said, as if it explained anything.

    Side stepping that bit of nonsense, I focused on something else she had said. ¡°What did you mean when you said everyone else will learn when you complete your research?¡±

    Ambervale lifted her chin defiantly. ¡°Just what I said.¡±

    My eyes narrowed. There was something she wasn¡¯t saying, something she was apparently smart enough to keep herself even if she couldn¡¯t help alluding to it in the first place. Something she didn¡¯t want others to know yet but thought she was the smart one for knowing it when they didn¡¯t.

    It made the back of my neck prickle. Perhaps it had to do with the proxy war and perhaps it didn¡¯t. Either way I didn¡¯t like her attitude that the Lady Blue was too strong to fight.

    I kept up my act of annoyed exasperation, though the act was quickly becoming reality. ¡°How will the situation change?¡±

    She crossed her arms, her guard rising further. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    I rolled my eyes. ¡°You said that you need to complete your research before the situation changes. How do you know our situation will change and what will happen?¡±

    She opened her mouth, closed it, and then spoke, ¡°It¡¯s obvious that this place will be overrun. It¡¯s just a matter of time and then things will change when we stop them at the river mouth.¡±

    I would have bet a whole pouch of rare herbs that wasn¡¯t what she had been thinking of at first, but I needled her excuse anyway, ¡°I thought you said no one should stand against the Lady Blue.¡±

    Ambervale glared at me. ¡°I said that they should have known better. I am not as weak as them.¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re so smart and strong, why not help us out now then? Why wait?¡±

    ¡°This and that are two different things. For now, I need to d0¡ª¡±

    ¡°Your research,¡± I cut in. ¡°Yes, we know.¡± I spread my arms to include all the tribespeople who had been listening in on our conversation. ¡°Well? Does anyone feel like helping her out?¡±

    Everyone stared, but no one spoke. No one moved until Tribe Master Toniva stepped past the tribe leader she had been speaking with. She wove around her tribe members, stepped carefully so as not to ruin the map, until she was an arm span from the indignant whisper woman.

    When she locked her eyes on Ambervale¡¯s there wasn¡¯t any of the usual deference in her gaze. ¡°We welcomed you into our home while we fought and bled, so that we might keep it and continue defending the goddess¡¯s territory as is our life¡¯s work. As was our ancestors. We have stood against the Devouring Blue for generations and the shape shifting witch has yet to break us.¡±

    Tribe Master Toniva pulled her prayer needle free. ¡°We have thanked the goddess for Her averted gaze and offered Her blood. We have welcomed the whisper women into our home as Her chosen servants. We have paid the proper respect and done as She wills.¡±

    Tribe Master Toniva pricked her wrist and held it up so all could see the blood trailing down her arm. ¡°But on this blood I offer, I rescind that welcome to you, for surely no chosen of the goddess would praise Her enemy so soundly while disparaging the efforts of Her territory¡¯s defenders.¡±

    Ambervale¡¯s eyes had gone wide and wild. She protested, ¡°You can¡¯t¡ª¡±

    Tribe Master Toniva shoved her arm towards Ambervale¡¯s face and the other woman was forced back a step. ¡°On this blood I offer, I rescind your welcome here.¡±

    The blood flaked away.

    Even Tribe Master Toniva paused in shock as the blood on her forearm disappeared into the air. Evidently, even she had done it more to make a statement than to make an actual offering to the goddess, and yet, the goddess had accepted the offering.

    The Tribe Master¡¯s entire demeanor hardened as the last bit of blood flaked away and she repeated, ¡°Your welcome here is rescinded.¡±

    The tribe pressed in around her, repeating the message over and over as Ambervale was forced back step by step. She tried to protest, tried to demand that everyone needed to listen to her and that they couldn¡¯t do this, but no one listened. She had run her mouth at the wrong moment and, with the goddess¡¯s tacit permission, they were more than happy to vent some of their frustration by forcing her out of Bramble Watch. Someone ran and brought out the ¡°missing¡± summoning branch, and a long moment later Ambervale had stepped into its shadow and was gone.

    I wasn¡¯t sure what it meant that she still had access to boons but the goddess had approved of kicking her out. I did know that it meant the goddess had more of an eye on the delta than I wanted Her to with our current tree related activities¡ªactivities that would have to stop immediately just in case. I also knew I had a new trail to send Ziek on. Ambervale¡¯s fervor might have been simple terror after learning too much about the Lady Blue, but I couldn¡¯t ignore the possibility that her research, whatever it was, might lend us a clue or two about what was happening in the delta.

 Book 5 - Ch. 41: Going for a Stroll

    Tribe Master Toniva didn¡¯t make any moves to cast out any of the whisper women other than Ambervale. I got curious about why, but they didn¡¯t often show themselves in Bramble Watch. Esie had practically disappeared since we arrived and Kaylan and Hattie were little better. I had little connection to Morwen or Nix, so there was no reason why I should see them, but I was glad that Ambervale was no longer welcome.

    However, that meant that if I wanted to talk to one of them I¡¯d have to try my hand at wind whispering or wait until they approached Tribe Master Toniva or Ana. And if I wanted to see what they were focused on I¡¯d likely have go to the river mouth and that was no easy feat without shadow walking. I¡¯d have to slip past one of the main battle fronts encircling Bramble Watch and then navigate a stretch of the delta that wasn¡¯t regular patrolled and likely swarming with fish. If I could stay on the raised walkways there¡¯d be little risk, but I doubted things would be so easy.

    I tried wind whispering first so that when Prevna inevitably checked in I could tell her I tried the safe option. Esie didn¡¯t respond but Kaylan and Hattie did. Hattie¡¯s cheerful voice whispered into my ear, ¡°From Little Diver to Little Leader, eh? Come visit!¡±

    It certainly wasn¡¯t the answer I¡¯d expected from a proxy war rival, though perhaps I should have remembered the person I was speaking to. She had never seemed to let things like authority or rivalry bring down her mood. She always had enough confidence for two people and a smile, so I should have realized she wasn¡¯t going to be intimidated by me spying on them.

    Kaylan didn¡¯t answer with a whisper but instead popped up onto the wall I was standing on that surrounded the village. I flinched back in surprise and nearly slipped off my vantage point. She caught my arm, hauling me back, before letting me go as she ignored the embarrassed flush trying to crawl its way up my cheeks.

    ¡°I heard you wanted to go for another stroll?¡± she asked.

    Even if the all the pines weren¡¯t false, there wasn¡¯t a tree¡¯s shadow where she had appeared from. Had she been standing flush against the wall so I couldn¡¯t see her? Or hiding somewhere else? With her blessing she had little need to be so close to listen in on me and I wasn¡¯t hiding my movements. There shouldn¡¯t be a reason for her to tail me.

    I frowned back at her. ¡°Where did you come from? I didn¡¯t expect you to be here.¡±

    Kaylan waved a hand vaguely. ¡°Around.¡±

    I waited for her to elaborate but she just looked expectantly back at me. We watched each other like for long minutes until she suddenly sighed and stretched.

    ¡°Look. You have questions. You¡¯ve made assumptions. You¡¯ve learned some things here and there but the whole picture isn¡¯t fitting together.¡± I didn¡¯t like that she was speaking for me and she seemed to know it. Kaylan smiled self-depreciatingly. ¡°How about I tell you about how it went the last time a Chosen had to be picked as we stroll?¡±

    It was blatant manipulation, but I couldn¡¯t turn down the offered information. Clearly, she wasn¡¯t willing to give me a straight answer like she had when she took me to the Water Frond Snake, but she did want to give me a hint. I could accept that, perhaps get even more information if I asked the right questions.

    I wasn¡¯t sure why she was being so free with information in the first place, unless she thought it was her duty as my new mentor for gathering information, but I was certain it would be important to know. Learning about Juniper and the Water Frond Snake had completely changed my understanding of the situation in the delta. I couldn¡¯t be sure that the story she wanted to tell me would be as transformative, but it might give me some insight on what to do about the horde or the proxy war.

    ¡°Why are you being so energetic? I could have sworn when we first met you just took me on so you could nap more,¡± I said as we made our back to the command post. Rather than risk my wind whisper not going through I was going to inform Ana of my impromptu trip in person. Part of me just wanted to disappear without letting someone know my every move, but I knew that wouldn¡¯t be the smartest choice after I pushed to become involved with the command of the fighting.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    Kaylan winked at me. ¡°A true lazy person knows when to work hard so they can rest even more later.¡±

    Something passed between Kaylan and Ana when I let the latter know where we were going, but it was too quick for me to catch what it was. In the next instant, Ana had grinned and thrown open her arms to encompass the command post. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure everything is handled with the Tribe Master while you are away¡ªand be careful once you¡¯re outside the perimeter. Nothing good will come of something happening to you.¡±

    I carefully tried not to think about the various times things had taken an unexpected¡ªand often dangerous¡ªturn when I went off on my own or in a small group into uncharted territory. Of course, the tribe would know the path to the river mouth well enough, but they were so hard pressed that not even a single fighter could be spared. Not that I thought we¡¯d get lost, but I¡¯d be more surprised if our trip turned out just as uneventful as the one to and from the Water Frond Snake had been.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡± At the very least, I wouldn¡¯t die.

    After that, we collected my pack and supplies from where I had been staying. The trip wasn¡¯t supposed to take longer than a few hours, but I preferred to have my things and not need them than the other way around, especially when I couldn¡¯t step through the shadows to easily retrieve them.

    Kaylan waved goodbye to the sentries as we left Bramble Watch but they just stared at her with stony expressions. Sentiment still wasn¡¯t kind to the whisper women in the outpost. In the tribesfolk¡¯s opinion they could be doing more to help the fight than messing around in a whole other part of the delta.

    ¡°Before the history lesson, I¡¯d like to make some observations and remind you of the lessons we went over last time.¡± Kaylan walked slightly ahead of me and didn¡¯t so much as pause to give me time to agree to her sudden change of plans before she continued, ¡°First, you have knowledge of the Succession War and proxy wars, but you seem to be under the misconception that the farce of one happening here is only one that matters. Others are already brewing¡ªone proxy war doesn¡¯t determine the outcome of the Succession War they have to be considered in comparison to each other.¡±

    Questions bubbled up on my tongue. What did she mean this was a ¡®farce¡¯? And I knew that others were important but I didn¡¯t have enough information about what might be happening to consider them.

    ¡°Second, you still expect to be underestimated and think of everyone as a potential enemy. This will not serve you. You are known in the Seedling Palace for doing impossible things despite your age and status, and only the truly narrow-minded will do what you expect.¡± Kaylan gestured to herself and away. ¡°Think of who is here with you and who Esie collected. Do we fit that description? Have we done anything to truly harm you?¡±

    I could think of more than a few precarious situations I had been thrust into because of Esie, if not the others, but I understood what Kaylan was driving at. I couldn¡¯t say much for the whisper women I had only met in one official meeting, but Esie and her group had supported me in their own sink or swim way. It wasn¡¯t perfect, but it was true that I didn¡¯t want to think of them as enemies or rivals to do away with in a bid to win the proxy war.

    I tried to give context, ¡°Ingrasia said¡ª¡±

    Kaylan stopped and turned on her heel to face me. I had to stumble to stop to avoid running into her and I didn¡¯t like feeling like a clumsy fool. I glared up at her.

    She leaned closer, unperturbed, ¡°Third, in Thousand Eyes half-truths are more common than outright lies or full truths. Sometimes they aren¡¯t even on purpose. Information is powerful, but it is always changing based on who is telling it. You will need connections beyond what are selected for you if you want to ever fully grasp what is said and done in the web that is the Seedling Palace and why.¡±

    I continued to glare, challenging her. ¡°Why tell me all this?¡±

    She pulled back and shrugged. Her expression suddenly nonchalant and light. ¡°Just making observations, remember?¡± Kaylan started walking forward again. ¡°Observe, experience, ask questions. We¡¯ve begun the first step of your lesson, now we just need to make sure you don¡¯t get lost in it and lose your urgency like you did with Juniper.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t lose my urgency. Juniper made her choice.¡±

    ¡°Three days have come and gone. She¡¯s rampaging. A fourth observation, for free: you are being pulled into too many directions and now refuse to commit to a single one. Juniper? The proxy war? The horde? Pick one or something else, but what I can tell you is that the Swirling Waters tribe doesn¡¯t need another commander. What you are doing now won¡¯t save them or the delta.¡±

    I clenched my jaw. What she was saying made sense, but I hadn¡¯t expected Kaylan to be the one to throw it in my face. I was following the plan I had made with Ingrasia, Ana, and Ziek but it was becoming clearer as the days wore on that my ideas were working as a delay tactic at best. They weren¡¯t enough to break the tide of the horde.

    ¡°The story?¡± I asked.

    She nodded. ¡°Keep my observations and lessons in mind while I¡ª¡±

    Kaylan abruptly cut herself off as her head tilted to the side. I wasn¡¯t sure if she was receiving a wind whisper or listening to something with her blessing, but whatever it was she didn¡¯t like it.

    She raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°Remember how to fight fish?¡±

    I nodded and gripped my spear. ¡°Of course.¡±

    She gripped her own. ¡°Good, because we¡¯re about to fight a lot of them in tight quarters. Follow me.¡±

    I did.

 Book 5 - Ch. 42: Preparatory Actions

    I took stock of what I had to fight with as Kaylan and I ran toward danger. My spear, which would likely be my best weapon in close range combat, unless there was absolutely no room to maneuver. Also, if the fish were stuck below the walkways I wouldn¡¯t be able to use it unless I wanted to throw it once and lose it forever. My sling and stones would be the best option then, but the stones were limited. I had a pouch full and no way to easily replace them while we were in the delta. My knife was my last resort. I had the least amount of practice with it and if the fish got close enough for me to use it then things would have gone horribly wrong. Never mind the fact that I didn¡¯t want the fishes¡¯ yellow blood all over the blade I used to eat if I could help it.

    My pack would help protect my back but I didn¡¯t have the cap or padded coat Mishtaw had us wear when fighting the fish on the shore. Just my tunic, pants, shoes, and cloak to ward off the cold season chill, not it bothered me as much since I earned my last boon. Perhaps with all the fighting around I should¡¯ve had the foresight to bring and wear the protective clothing, but I had been counting on stealth and the raised walkways to protect me from the worst of the trouble rather than running straight for it.

    Kaylan was in a similar situation. She had the three standard weapons, no true protective gear, and the standard whisper woman outfit that consisted of a black and gray dress, wide belt, and dark blue jacket that didn¡¯t seem like the best outfit to fight in. Perhaps if she had been in the Peacekeepers sect she would¡¯ve had clothes more suited to fighting, but as it was she didn¡¯t even seem to notice that we weren¡¯t prepared for fight a horde of fish.

    But, perhaps, it wasn¡¯t that she didn¡¯t care, only that we didn¡¯t have a way to avoid fighting the fish. I heard the battle before I saw it and that was enough to make my blood run cold. It sounded nothing like the fight we had seen on our way to the Water Frond Snake.

    That fight had minimal noise. Yelling orders, sounds of effort, the churning of water as the fish tried to break through the net and the wet slap of their bodies being dumped onto the killing field. Everything, while not peaceful, had the air of routine.

    This fight we were running towards sounded like anything but. There were screams of pain and shock, multiple people yelling¡ªtrying to regain order¡ªand the slap and thump of close quarter combat. Combat that should¡¯ve been the more rhythmic beat of ranged fighting.

    Shock of my own slowed my steps as the fighting came into view. Somehow, one of the walkways had broken free and was now hanging limply into the water below¡ªproviding a perfect passage to the tribesfolk¡¯s defenses for all the fish trying to swarm up it. A group of ten or so stood at the top of the broken walkway and were doing their best to kill or shove off any of the fish that made it to them, but there was only room for three of them to stand shoulder to shoulder while the rest had to try to fit their attacks around the front line defenders. One saving grace for the defenders was that the fish were not good climbers. The broken path¡¯s incline was just steep enough to keep most of the churning horde in water, but for every fish that fell there were two or three or five to replace it and try their luck at overwhelming the defenses.

    Just past the defenders was another pair of tribesfolk, one whose right leg was bent at a bad angle and the other had a head wound that was bleeding freely down his face while the injured woman started to wrap his head with a bandage. My fingers itched to do it myself and set her leg, but I tore my gaze back to the fighting. That wasn¡¯t my role any more. Stopping the fish was.

    As long as the new ramp was in place it would be impossible to get the fish to stop swarming it, but it also wasn¡¯t a simple matter to snap off the part still attached and be done with it.

    The walkways had been made with the same bramble as Bramble Watch, and it was sturdy, thick. Not easy to cut or saw through without dedication and effort. That served it well as the protective shell that allowed the tribesfolk to live in the delta, but less so when it had to be broken for their benefit. Especially when there was a horde of fish trying to beat you skull in at the same time.

    Kaylan and I shared a look. I said, ¡°Contact Ana.¡± A pause before I added, ¡°Get Juniper.¡±

    Better her to send the messages than me. I wasn¡¯t sure what extra boon she had gotten during her wind whispering trial, but I knew that she had the experience to make sure her whispers got where they needed to go and half the time I wasn¡¯t sure if mine went further than my own lips. Something to practice, but not now.

    I raced forward, whistled to let the tribesfolk know they had company, and took a note out of Ingrasia¡¯s mentorship. As soon as I got a few steps away from the back of the group I hauled myself up onto the pathway¡¯s railing and hurried forward before any of them had a mind to stop me.Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!

    The regular path might have been blocked, but it was easy for me to reach where the walkway suddenly sloped downward on the unused railing. It gave me a slight appreciation for Ingrasia¡¯s penchant to stand on the highest thing around, no matter how narrow. If I could walk or run as easily as her on such spaces, rather than the awkward shuffle step I did to not fall, I could reach all sorts of places easier.

    Part of me, the blood pounding, adrenaline filled part, was ready to take my spear and rush forward to attack any fish in range, but the tribesfolk had the two that had reached them handled and I didn¡¯t want to risk tripping them up with an unexpected attack that wasn¡¯t needed. Besides, if I really was going to be one of the Chosen I had to be smarter than that.

    My best option was to slow down the horde further until the Water Frond Snake arrived and got rid of the lot of them. Then, ideally, we could communicate to Juniper to tear off the broken walkway before she kept going after the horde. If not, then we¡¯d have to somehow cut it off before the swarm reformed.

    I almost reached for my sling, but there was no telling how long we¡¯d have to hold out for, and wasting the shots now wouldn¡¯t help anything but make me feel like I was doing something.

    The middle woman shoved the fish off her spear so it tumbled back down the ramp¡ªtaking out another couple fish¡ªand would have stumbled down after it if not for her buddy pulling her back from the edge. The middle woman fell back in the formation and a different woman took her place. Looking closer at all of them, they were all exhausted and barely keeping their focus. Which wasn¡¯t surprising given the sheer toll trying to keep up with the horde was taking on the Swirling Waters Tribe, but it was telling.

    If something didn¡¯t change soon, something more than Juniper rampaging around the delta as the Water Frond Snake, then exhaustion was going to win the delta for the fish more than anything else. Mistakes that would never happen with rested fighters would pile onto other mistakes and poor fighting that was also the result of little rest.

    I eyed the broken walkway. These fighters needed a break and it wouldn¡¯t hurt to have longer an whistle to coordinate with them. I just needed something so the fish couldn¡¯t climb up as they pleased.

    The root wall that protected the base camp on the shore rose up in my mind. It had been slick with some kind of oil that made it nearly impossible to climb. I didn¡¯t have anything that could cover the entire fallen walkway but surely¡ª

    The fish had been driven away with ice then. I couldn¡¯t flash freeze the walkway like the High Priestess had the shore, but there was plenty of snow around on branches and the edges of the walkways that weren¡¯t walked on as much. It wasn¡¯t a perfect solution, but it would be something slick to impede the fish even further.

    I faced the tribesfolk as they killed off the second fish threatening their line and Kaylan hurried up behind them. To their credit, despite their exhaustion and two unexpected whisper women flanking them, those at the front kept their attention on the fish while the rest split their focus between Kaylan and me. Some mixture of hope and distrust showed on every single face.

    ¡°I¡¯m Gimley. I¡¯ve been working with Tribe Master Toniva to help you hold back the horde.¡± As I talked I pulled my sling and a stone free from the pouch on my belt. ¡°Kaylan has informed the Tribe Master of your predicament. We will hold the line while you rest in shifts.¡± I spun sling and stone and nailed the fish closest to the top right in the head. It flopped backward and took another fish down with it. ¡°Those not resting should gather up snow and dump it down this new ramp. That should help slow down the fish until we get this taken care of.¡±

    They stared at me, clearly torn between listening to some young whisper woman and their pride. Then one of the injured people let out a stifled cry of pain and someone in the back of the group hurried over to them. That seemed to break the indecision over the rest of them as they all moved to shuffle out of Kaylan¡¯s way and I dropped down from the railing to cover the left side of the pathway.

    I put my sling away and pulled my spear free as one of the defenders paused by my side. ¡°It broke without warning. We¡­lost a few that got caught in the fall. The fish came at the same time. Not sure how they broke through the perimeter, but it was like they knew where to go.¡±

    I frowned. ¡°How long ago was this?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°An hour, maybe less. We were coming back from our shift on the perimeter and then it was all we could do to hold the fish at bay.¡±

    ¡°Go rest. We don¡¯t want the fish on the walkways any more than you do.¡±

    She nodded tiredly and joined the rest of her group. I noticed they sent one person off in the direction of Bramble Watch, but I couldn¡¯t fault them for that. Likely, they weren¡¯t sure if they could trust our wind whispers and Tribe Master Toniva getting a first hand account of the situation would only add to the urgency that she needed to take the steps to lure Juniper here.

    I stabbed the next fish to reach me in the eye with my spear while Kaylan finished up with another on her side. Staring down at the constantly shifting waters around the broken walkway, I was glad that most of the fish were either too preoccupied or too poor of climbers to come at us en masse, though it did beg the question why the horde wasn¡¯t doing more to overrun our position. A question I wouldn¡¯t be able to answer while the water looked like it was boiling from their movements.

    My world narrowed to killing fish after fish while the occasional armful of snow was tossed past my shoulder. The tribesfolk had listened to my poor plan and I was pleased to see more than one fish slide back down to the water due their efforts without me having to do a thing.

    This certainly wasn¡¯t what I had planned when I set out from Bramble Watch, but we couldn¡¯t allow the tribesfolk main defenses get overrun by fish. That would put everyone in the delta at risk. All I could hope as I stabbed and shoved another fish down the incline was that Juniper was coherent enough to help with the broken walkway.

 Book 5 - Ch. 43: Hold the Line

    I speared a fish through the gills, pulled my weapon free and then whipped it around shove the fish back down the broken walkway. It tumbled and knocked the fish behind it into free fall too. I took the moment to check my spear and clicked my tongue. Something had felt off when I pulled my spear free and, like I had expected, the spearhead had chipped and was now loose in its binding. It wouldn¡¯t last much longer, not that I wanted to take the risk of it breaking at the wrong moment. I whistled to get the attention of the resting tribesfolk and when I heard answering whistle I stepped back and a man took over defending my half of the walkway.

    This was my second time using the maneuver. Kaylan and I had spoken to the tribesfolk in snatches while we defended the walkway and they took some much needed rest until we worked out a simple method for us all to rotate and better hold the line. Tribe Master Toniva had sent us a new group of ten to replace the exhausted group we had found, but the fighting was fierce enough that she couldn¡¯t guarantee when or if more would be coming.

    Kaylan and I fought for as long as we could, but neither of our blessings helped with fighting. Our new group of helpers were knife dancers. The man who replaced me rapidly sliced through an approaching fish on either side of its body, disabling its arm fins and ability to climb. These people had ample experience fighting the fish up close and personal, likely more so than me and Kaylan combined. They likely didn¡¯t need our help except as another pair of hands to stymie the fish and increase the break times for the others, but I refused to leave when there was still an opening for the fish to overrun the walkways. Seeing what was at the river mouth and hearing what Kaylan had to say about the last Chosen was important, but I also didn¡¯t want to ruin what trust the Swirling Waters tribe had placed in me.

    I had long since taken off my pack as there was no reason to wear the extra weight when all of our enemies were coming from the front. I found it right where I left it, tucked against the railing and next to a tribeswoman who had her head tucked into her arms. I ignored her¡ªas there wasn¡¯t enough space on the walkway for any true privacy and we all had to make do with being clumped in tight¡ªwhile I got to work on replacing my spearhead with the supplies from my pack.

    I wasn¡¯t sure exactly how long we had been holding the fish back for, but the day was getting later and if Juniper didn¡¯t show up soon as the Water Frond Snake we¡¯d be looking at fighting in the dark or figuring out another way to severe the part of the walkway reaching down into the water. For all I knew her rampage was helping hold another key point of the fight, but part of me was annoyed that she hadn¡¯t made an appearance yet. It made me question how critical the Water Frond Snake really was if the tribe couldn¡¯t coordinate with her¡ªbut then again they made it sound like the Water Frond Snake normally decimated whatever fish were in the delta which wouldn¡¯t necessarily require coordination. It was only the sheer number of fish pouring into the delta this year that was causing all the problems.

    The dark wouldn¡¯t hinder me or Kaylan, but I wasn¡¯t sure how the knife dancers would fare with reduced vision. And while I might like to think we could hold the line all night by ourselves, and I would deny that fatigue felt like a suit of stone weighing down all my limbs, it would be a true test on how far being stubborn could get me. My stamina had increased substantially since I first became Rawley¡¯s apprentice, but I wasn¡¯t practiced at protracted fights. Hiking all over was one thing, but now I was sore in places I never would have though of. Part of that was the awkward angle the fish were coming from, and part of it was fighting for hours. There was a quality to it that practicing and sparring couldn¡¯t quite replicate.

    I finished fixing my spear just as Kaylan¡¯s head snapped to the side like she had heard something wholly unexpected. The next moment she whistled and the woman next me rose with a grimace before taking the whisper woman¡¯s spot. Kaylan strode past me, jumped up to catch her hand on a thick branch that jutted over the walkway, before disappearing up into the tree. I scrambled after her.

    She didn¡¯t seem surprised in the least when I popped up out of the tree top next to her. She pointed into the distance. ¡°That explains why Juniper is taking so long.¡±

    I squinted to see what she was pointing at past the broad array bloated tree limbs and bramble wall that made up Bramble Watch. The flash of a bone white tail followed by two tentacles that flared above the tree line before smashing back down.

    We both cocked our heads slightly to the side at the same time as Ana whispered into our ears. ¡°Two leviathans made their way up the main channel. Juniper stopped one and is working on the other, but you will need to continue to hold the weak point.¡±

    I frowned. I still remembered when we had been ambushed by one of those creatures when we had been hunting for the crawler on the shore. Prevna had managed to scare it off by poisoning it, but we had taken heavy damage in the meantime. My understanding was that they didn¡¯t often try to assault the delta because the waterways were too shallow to support them, so it was more than odd that two had attacked at the same time. Another mystery to add to the pile of the fishes¡¯ odd behavior this year.

    But that didn¡¯t fully explain the way Kaylan had reacted before she drew me up here. She might have been distracted by fighting, but surely she would have heard the fight between such large monsters before now. ¡°Is that what got your attention?¡±If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    A pensive look clouded her face before she huffed out a breath. ¡°No.¡± She pointed the opposite direction. ¡°I¡¯m needed elsewhere. Someone has learned of our plans and is protesting. Loudly.¡±

    I stared at her in disbelief. ¡°But¡ª¡±

    Kaylan clapped me on the shoulder. ¡°You got this. Just hold off the fish like you¡¯ve been doing until Juniper takes care of that leviathan and mops up the rest here.¡±

    Something about her statement rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn¡¯t get the chance to protest again before she disappeared among the branches. Kaylan was very good at making herself scarce when she bothered to put in the effort. Though I couldn¡¯t say that she was leaving all the hard work to me since I still wasn¡¯t sure what plans she was referring to.

    Unease twisted in my gut as I glanced at the sky. If Juniper had taken hours to defeat the first leviathan then we would definitely be fighting in the dark. Continuing to do what we had all day wouldn¡¯t work if the knife dancers struggled to hit their target. We¡¯d need torches, or some other light source, at the very least.

    I shifted my position in the tree and took in the scene below from a new angle to see if it gave me any new ideas. Which was how I noticed that the fish joining the tumultuous ball at the bottom of the broken pathway weren¡¯t coming from the two waterways that joined nearby. Instead there was movement underneath the bramble pathways that the tribesfolk had made. Normally, the tribesfolk would still be able to see under their own pathways, at least in the areas where they had their killing fields and multiple paths connecting, as they could look from one to under the other, and the fish would have no reason to hide under the pathways because they tended to run next to the waterways and it was much easier for the fish to be stealthy under the water than out.

    However, the main pathway Kaylan and I had been following had been built for speed to the outer perimeter around Bramble Watch. It crossed waterways and vegetation filled patches in equal measure so reinforcements could come and go as quickly as possible. From what I understood, the spot where we were now was just far enough from the outer perimeter that eyes weren¡¯t constantly on it but also far enough from Bramble Watch that scouts there wouldn¡¯t be able spot that something was wrong right away.

    From my higher vantage point, I could see where fish after fish slipped from what was supposed to be a nest of mud and tree roots and into the pool of water without so much as a squelch. It looked like some effort had been made to conceal the spot with vegetation¡ªand I hadn¡¯t glanced twice at it down on the pathway¡ªbut now I could see between the concealing bushes and the bramble pathway over it. The ice and snow also helped to hide where the channel met the waterway. The spot was on the opposite side of the waterway, not far from where the path had broken free.

    At the sight of it, a reckless but true thought filled my mind. If the fish couldn¡¯t travel through whatever hidden pathway they had, then whatever hole was in the perimeter would be fixed and we wouldn¡¯t need to continually defend the broken path from new invaders. We could handle the ones that had already gotten here and then take the time we needed to take care of the broken path. All that had to be done first was stop the one by one fish parade.

    I dropped back down to path I had been defending, swung my pack into place on my back, made sure my spear was secure, and then told the leader of the knife dancers to keep defending while I went off to fix the issue of fish reinforcements to the area. She looked like she wanted to protest, but I followed Kaylan¡¯s lead and left before she could form a proper sentence.

    Thankfully, I had some experience scaling trees and traveling across their branches so it wasn¡¯t terribly difficult to get from one side of the waterway to the other, despite the broken pathway. After that I continued on the path where I could, but I noticed the fish¡¯s hidden path often moved away from areas that would likely see more foot traffic or would use an actual waterway when it was available. That made it harder to track, but as long as I went in the general direction of the perimeter it was easy enough to pick up again. That, and once I knew what I was looking for, it became easier to spot the fishes¡¯ wiggling from random wildlife.

    The hidden path was a narrow channel that wove among the mud and roots and such, so rather than having to struggle through the natural defenses they could slip around them with some water to ease their way. The entire thing was at odds with how the fish had been acting. This wasn¡¯t some brutal assault where exhaustion and sheer numbers won the day for the horde, but something more akin to what I originally would have thought in line with the Lady Blue¡¯s tactics. Something full of subterfuge and misdirection. I wasn¡¯t sure what to think of the dichotomy.

    It was¡­interesting to sneak above the fish while they thought they were sneaking by undetected in the mud and muck. Part of me was tempted to drop down and take them down as they came but if I did that I might as well have stayed back to defend the broken pathway. So I used the bramble paths where I could and used the false pines where I couldn¡¯t as the sounds of fighting and the presence of tribesfolk increased until I finally found where the fish were sneaking in at.

    The spot was similar to the end point I first spotted. A narrow channel covered by vegetation away from where the tribesfolk would normally look. However, not all the fish in the area were going for the channel. Most still followed the major waterways which would lead them into the choke points the Swirling Waters tribe had set up. It was only those that strayed closer to where the channel was that would suddenly veer off and head down it.

    I needed something to block it or fill it up. Ideally, something more robust than uprooted plants or mud, but that seemed unlikely in the delta. Something that would be difficult or unpleasant enough that the fish would find their secret passage impassable, but I couldn¡¯t do anything as drastic as bringing down another tree now that I knew the goddess was paying more attention than I would like. If the broken walkway was cut free then it could be used to block the other end, but I didn¡¯t want to leave this end open. I glared at the channel but when a boulder failed to appear at its entrance I knew I was either going to have to get creative or give in and do some time consuming mud work while fending off fish¡ªand if I didn¡¯t want the knife dancers to fight in the dark then I was going to have to come up with the former sooner than later.

 Notice About Book 5 - Ch. 44

    Hey everyone, I thought I''d have the chapter out tonight, a little later than it should be but not that far off. Unfortunately, I have a migraine that doesn''t seem to want to quit so it''s been difficult to write and look at screens for too long. I think I should have the chapter out by Wednesday, so thank you for your patience about the unexpected delay! I hope you all are reading some other good stories in the meantime and hopefully you''ll enjoy the chapter once I get it posted. Thanks for reading and thank you again for your patience!This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

 Book 5 - Ch. 44: Network

    I kept glaring at the horde¡¯s secret passage but no answer presented itself that would allow me to take care of the issue quickly and by myself. Everything would either take too long or I simply didn¡¯t have the materials I needed. However, as I heard the tribe in the distance, fighting and giving orders, a solution did come to mind.

    One of the nets they used to block the waterways and haul fish into their killing fields could also block the entrance here until the broken pathway was taken care of. After that the other end of the channel would be blocked off or the defenders could redirect their efforts into securing the path the fish had made. The net wouldn¡¯t hold indefinitely but it could give us the time we needed to recoup and address the situation rather than just reacting.

    The only problem with that idea was that it meant going back to Bramble Watch and getting help. I couldn¡¯t just take a net that was already in use and I doubted that I¡¯d be able to carry it on my own. Even folded in on itself the net would be heavy and bulky.

    I sent a whisper to Ana to see if there were any nets not in use, half hoping that¡¯d be the case. With how heavy the fighting had been I knew that the tribesfolk had been using everything at their disposal and nets that were brought back for repair were put back into place as soon as possible. The cold season was normally their time to make extra nets to replace those that had broken beyond repair, but there wasn¡¯t any time for that this year and any nets that might have been sitting in storage had long been taken out to give the fighters just a little more reprieve from the constant onslaught.

    Naturally, Ana wanted to know what I wanted a net for since we had already decided stringing up one in front of the broken pathway wouldn¡¯t be as effective as it being used elsewhere. Even if it was exhausting work, we could keep up the fish that were able to climb up the new ramp and we could use knife dancers with less risk than they normally faced while not stretching the spear throwers even further.

    I told her the shortest version of what I¡¯d discovered and still had to send one of my messages twice since she didn¡¯t receive it the first time. Improving my skill with wind whispering was quickly getting pushed higher on my list of priorities as each failure felt like a toothache I couldn¡¯t soothe.

    There wasn¡¯t one net available¡ªthere were two, but they had been deemed beyond repair. According to Ana, they could be cobbled together into one working net but no one had the time to put in the work when the result likely wouldn¡¯t last long enough for it to be worth the effort. For my purposes, the net was worth it as long as I could put it together.

    I sent another message to Ana letting her know that the knife dancers would need torches or some other light source sent their way as I started to make my way back to Bramble Watch. Better to be prepared than not.

    I didn¡¯t follow the horde¡¯s secret channel all the way back. Instead, I went far enough that I knew I past the perimeter posts, so I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about walking into any fights, and then switched to the bramble paths through the trees. It was simple enough to keep from getting lost within the perimeter given the mental map I had made to keep track of the fighting and routes the tribesfolk took.

    Seeing all the shadows the false pines cast was another source of irritation. If I could have walked the shadow paths, I would¡¯ve been back in Bramble Watch near instantly and getting the net where it needed to go would be less of a struggle. Nor did it help that going back to the outpost felt like I was backtracking. I had left earlier with the intent of finally seeing what the whisper women were up to at the river mouth with my own eyes, but I hadn¡¯t even gotten past the defensive perimeter before I got side tracked. Granted, I knew leaving the hidden passage and broken walkway unresolved would¡¯ve been a poor choice, but Kaylan¡¯s comments about not understanding what was going on dug at me. I should have been at the river mouth by now.

    But I also didn¡¯t want to leave the work for anyone else to do. I could make the excuse that everyone else was busy, and that was true, but in the privacy of my own mind I knew that even if all the tribesfolk had been sitting on their hands I would have wanted to solve the issue of the broken pathway on my own. Preferably without the knife dancers or Kaylan or anyone else. Never mind the fact that I couldn¡¯t be in two places at once or fighting and fixing the net at the same time. My instinct when I came across a problem was that I had to be the one to solve it. Competently and quickly.

    No one could take your work from you. Unless you gave it away and when I was¡­younger the work was all I had.

    I had gotten more used to with working others during my time with Mishtaw and Prevna, and being the leader of a group was more tolerable than listening to someone else, but the thought of simply handing off the issue of the broken pathway and the fish sneaking behind the defensive perimeter to the tribesfolk was untenable. A very small part of me was tempted by it, just so I could get on with my original goal, and the rest of my mind called that part an impatient coward who couldn¡¯t finish anything.

    Ana had the broken nets laid out in Juniper¡¯s old hideout. The ground level area was out of the way of the rest of the outpost and there was enough space to spread out the nets and  work without constantly having to move them out of the way for people passing by as the case would¡¯ve been in I worked on them in the central part of Bramble Watch.

    My understanding was that several people normally would have worked on repairing the nets at the same time, to speed up the work, but I hadn¡¯t asked for help. Ana had also hinted she could round up some people who were recovering from injuries and such but that could still work on the nets, but she didn¡¯t force them on me.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    I warred with myself as I dragged the nets this way and that, trying to get them lined up in the best possible way to minimize the risk that the spots where they tore before would break again. I knew stopping the leak was important to get fixed as soon as possible because, sooner or later, the fish weren¡¯t going to keep to the channel and unexpected attacks from behind the defensive line could cause the whole thing to break even with the defender¡¯s height advantage. It was a bit of surprise that there hadn¡¯t been any other attacks in that area, unless the fish wanted to be on the bramble pathways first before spreading out.

    It was also only a matter of time before someone defending the ramp go too tired and made a mistake. Time was of the essence¡ªand with that in mind I should accept Ana¡¯s offer so that the net repairs would be done as soon as possible. It was just that it didn¡¯t feel like I had done anything on my own since I earned my final boons. Esie had led me around by my nose until I ended up as part of the proxy war, the fight in the delta belonged more to Juniper and the Swirling Waters Tribe, and Ingrasia and her apprentices and I had been forced together by the Hundred Eyes sect head. It wasn¡¯t all unwelcome change, but I did want something I could point to and say that it was my accomplishment, my work, even if it was just a fixed net.

    But could I still feel accomplished if someone died because I took too long splicing rope together?

    The sound of Juniper¡¯s battle with the leviathan was louder here. No roars, like one might expect from two large beasts, but loud smacks of water, cracks and thumps and splashes. She was doing everything she could to help her people and protect her childhood home.

    I glowered at the rope in my hands. Rawley had once said that trust was a different type of strength. Ingrasia and the others wanted me to gain experience leading a small team, which necessitated delegation. I trusted them to do their jobs, but I still wasn¡¯t sure where I fell in scheme of things. As Kaylan had said, the tribe didn¡¯t need a second commander, but I also hadn¡¯t wanted to abandon them to fight on their own like the whisper women seemingly had. I wasn¡¯t here by my choice and I was still trying to figure out what was expected of me.

    The person I wanted to protect didn¡¯t want my protection, I had no clear idea on how to stop the horde, and the person who had gotten me involved in the whole situation in the first place had abandoned me as soon as we arrived. Even Ingrasia hadn¡¯t questioned me when my three day deadline for my supposed top priority of stopping the fish came and went. Her and Ana and Ziek kept to their roles I had given them, and that was it. Did they trust that I had everything handled or was this another test to see what I would do?

    A test to see how well I worked with others? Because if that was the case then I was failing it.

    I sent Ana another whisper and a handful of minutes later three people limped their way into the small area. I set them to working on different areas of the net and immediately I could tell that they had ample experience fixing nets. I had some experience splicing rope back together, so as not to waste it, but it was clear they had plenty of opportunity to practice with all the nets in the delta. I gritted my teeth against the uncomfortable pit that wanted to settle in my stomach and kept working on my section.

    I had my own skills. I wasn¡¯t incompetent.

    The nets were fitted together in record time, but it was still getting close to dark by the time we finished. Two of my helpers held the folded finished product between them, but they both had leg injuries so I doubted they be able to get it all the way to the entrance of the secret channel, especially with the lack of paths to walk during the last stretch. Still, they insisted on helping and at that point, since they were already there, I figured I might as well use them.

    In the end, all four of us ended up trading out carrying the heavy net until we finally reached the point on the paths that was closest to the channel¡¯s entrance. One of the helpers had reopened her leg wound while the others were doing their best to catch their breath from the effort. I wanted to sit and rest with them, but the job had to get done.

    We loaded the net up onto my shoulders and tied it in place with an extra length of rope. It felt like I had doubled my weight. I left my pack and spear with them to lessen the extra weight as much as possible even though I didn¡¯t like leaving my main weapon behind. I kept my knife and sling as their weights were negligible and I wasn¡¯t about to go weaponless into a dangerous area even if I couldn¡¯t die.

    They helped hoist me onto the first branch and it groaned under me. I surged upwards to get to the next one, pulse racing at thought that it was going to break beneath me, and nearly tipped over into the waters below. I caught myself on the trunk and the branch settled.

    Moving, breathing, balance, all of it was difficult with the net weighing me down. Movements I never had a problem with before suddenly threatened to pull me into open air and I had to be more careful with which branches I used as some thinner ones would groan and crack when I stepped on them.

    Luckily, the handful of fish that passed beneath me never seemed to notice or care as I climbed past them. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because of the single minded nature they had taken to in the delta or if they simply never looked up. As it was, I was drenched with sweat and shaking with exhaustion by the time I reached the channel¡¯s entrance. I took a long moment to rest on the thickest branch I could find before I set to getting the net in place.

    The top corners had to be tied around thick branches to hold it up while the bottom had both weights and hooks that could be attached to the exposed tree roots in the water. I got the net tied on one side of the channel and then took a hold of the tie for the other side. Then I ran and leapt into the open space between the trees. It wasn¡¯t a large gap, but I still had to twist and catch a hold of a branch before I slammed into the trunk of the other tree or fell. My breath rushed out of me as my chest hit the branch and for moment I thought I might not be able to pull myself up. But I hooked my feet around the branch¡ªand not a moment too soon because in the next instant the weight of the net nearly pulled me off the branch as it settled into place.

    I hooked my arm through one of the net¡¯s holes and forced myself to climb until I was even with the corner I had tied on the other side. With the second corner tied into place all I had to do was get the bottom hooked as best as I could to help make sure the fish weren¡¯t able to drag it along with them.

    I was about to climb down to get that done when one of the fish broke away from the main group out in the water and started dashing for the channel. I wasn¡¯t sure if it would be better if it slipped through the small gap under the net since I hadn¡¯t gotten it fully in place or if it was better to see how the other fish reacted once the net was in action. Either way I was moments from finding out.

 Book 5 - Ch. 45: Third Hook

    The fish dipped fully below the water and I held my breath as I strained to see any hint of where the fish went. The channel wasn¡¯t deep so I should see it surface there, but when would it appear? Would it get caught in the net?

    A ripple heading towards the net. I clung to the branch even as everything ached. No matter what happened to the net it wouldn¡¯t be smart to land face first in front of a fish. The ripple reached the net¡­passed it.

    And started thrashing. The net had caught on a fin and the fish was doing everything it could to keep swimming down the channel. It dragged the net a handful of feet down the secret waterway before the net caught against the branches. My ties held.

    My gaze cut to further down the channel but the fish further ahead paid the caught one no mind. They swam as fast as they could down the channel like they were possessed. The fish in the wider waterway were another story. I could tell that some were being attracted by the movement and noise¡ªwhich would have been fine if the net was fully set, but I still needed to get the bottom hooked so it could hold against the horde¡¯s numbers. As it was, they¡¯d be able to shove the net to the side if they had the mind for it or drag it down through sheer weight and numbers. The latter could still happen after I got the bottom hooked but the net would be able to withstand their onslaught longer with more anchoring points.

    The caught fish thrashed one more time and managed to throw the net off its fin. It swam down the channel as if nothing had happened. I held my breath as the one, two, three fish that had been attracted by its outburst also slipped past the net without getting stuck. The defenders on the broken pathway would have to deal with them, but if I could get the net in place without getting injured it¡¯d be better in the long run.

    Long moments passed as I waited to see if any more fish would dart from the main waterway to the channel but they were focused on bursting through the tribe¡¯s choke points. Slowly, trying to ignore the way my quick heartbeat was insisting I go, go, go, I climbed down the tree and onto its exposed roots. There was ground here that the channel cut into, but it was so sopping wet that I didn¡¯t trust it to hold my body weight. I didn¡¯t relish the idea of getting swallowed whole by the mud for eternity, especially when no one would have a clear idea of where to look for me.

    So I crawled from root to root, keeping a careful eye and ear trained on the water, until I reached net. Then I started the arduous process of slowly dragging it back into place while trying not to draw the horde¡¯s attention. I clung to the far side of a root more than once as I prayed for a passing fish not to notice me.

    My muscles ached and burned from the strain I had put them through over the past day but I didn¡¯t stop. I had a job to do. Perhaps I wouldn¡¯t be able to climb up the tree after all this, if my arms had their way, but the net would be in place.

    There was something odd every time I strayed close to the edges of the channel. The faintest scent of something metallic and sharp like it was trying to cut through my nose. I didn¡¯t smell it anywhere else as I got the net placed and despite the smell being so faint I was half sure I had imagined it, it stood out me.

    Night had fully fallen by the time I managed to fix the first fish¡¯s mistake. The defenders would be fighting in even less ideal conditions now and I wasn¡¯t looking forward to swimming in the dark water. I might still be able to see as well as in daylight but now everything was in shades of gray and black. Some flashes of silver from the snow and moonlight. There¡¯d be no pop of color to warn me of an inbound fish and they¡¯d move faster than me in the water. And that was considering I even could see for any reliable distance¡ªthe water was so clouded with mud and other bits that I was sure I¡¯d be placing the hooks more by feel than sight.

    For the briefest of moments, I was envious of Ulo¡¯s ability to breathe underwater. She at least wouldn¡¯t have that concern if she had my job. But then I remembered everything there was to dislike about Ulo and the number of times my blessing had saved me and I decided she could have her highly situational blessing. My blessing was in play all the time at least.

    I stripped out of my outer clothes and supply belt, anything that could slow me down or get damaged in the water. My pack and spear were still up on the high paths, so I didn¡¯t have to worry hiding them, but everything else I had been wearing went into a protected nook tucked between two roots. Then I grabbed my first net hook, plotted where I thought the roots went under the water, checked one last time for incoming danger, and slipped into the water as careful as I could to create as little ripples as possible. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if the horde had a way to sense interlopers in their domain.

    I followed the roots of the tree down by feel. As I feared the clouded water made sight more of a liability than a benefit, and in an odd way it felt similar to following the paths in the wind spirits¡¯ home. I strained to feel every shift in the water even as my concentration was settled on my hands and not losing track of the root I was following.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

    The need to breathe was pressing against my lungs by the time the net went taunt enough for me to place the hook. I caught it on a particularly thick root before I turned and followed my root back up to the surface.

    One quietly gasping breath later and I was back under the surface with another hook hand. There were four total that needed to be set with a net of this size and now time was of the essence. At any moment another fish could try to make a break for it, but now they¡¯d run into me or the net before they could make it to the secret waterway. I needed to get the hooks placed, in good spots, if I wanted it to hold against the horde.

    The second hook was placed without issue but on the third I ran into an issue. There weren¡¯t any strong enough roots in the area it needed to be placed to be effective. Every place I found would snap long before the first two hooks I placed felt more than a hint of strain. I went down a second time, trying to place that hook, but found nothing suitable.

    So, instead, I switched to the final hook and did my best to find the best spot for it. It didn¡¯t take me long to find the perfect spot for the hook. It was a spot where several roots grew around each other, but they¡¯d help hold the hook in place with how they were situated. I got it hooked and then swam back up.

    I was about to make a third pass with the third hook when I noticed movement coming closer in the water. A glint in the moonlight that disappeared a moment later, but I knew what it was. Another fish was making for the channel and I had no way to see it in the murky water unless it surfaced again. No weapons but a makeshift one using the large hook in my hands. No way to get to shore before it reached me without making enough noise and flailing movement to alert more attackers to my presence.

    And there was no guarantee that it had noticed me yet. There was still a chance that whatever had drawn the others to the channel had taken a hold of this fish¡¯s attention too.

    So I let myself drift back until my back was pressed up against a thick root, the net stretched and protecting my left flank. Then I closed my eyes and focused on the waters around me. Felt its eddies and pulls like it was the spirits¡¯ wind and I had to pay attention to every breath of it to stay in a cone of stillness. Hoping for another flash was a fool¡¯s errand, but with this I¡¯d have some warning of the fish drawing near. Water wasn¡¯t the same as wind, but even the fish couldn¡¯t move through it without causing some slight disturbance.

    Every breath felt like torture. Like the slight sound would give me away no matter how quietly I tried to breathe, like each one lasted for an hour, and my anticipation built. And built.

    Only to shatter as the net started shift and shake as the fish tried to force its way past it. It was too low in the water for me to see it but when I opened my eyes I could see the water thrashed right where the channel met the bigger waterway. It had been drawn in by the secret passageway and hadn¡¯t noticed me in the slightest.

    Others would notice its movement though, like they had with the first fish. The third hook still wasn¡¯t set, so I decided to take the opportunity while I had it. I dove down with the third hook, following a new root than what I had before, and used the fish¡¯s thrashing to cover my own quicker movements as I dared to swim faster than I had before.

    Down and down again while part of me expected the fish to change targets for its single minded assault while another wondered how long it would take for its friends to show up. Down while my lungs tried to convince me I could be like Ulo, just for a little bit, and the rest of my body grew heavier with fatigue.

    Until, finally, I came across a spot that could work. The root wasn¡¯t as thick as it could be, but it was situated the right way and the net was pulled tight. It would have to do. I got the hook set and pulled myself back up the root.

    Hand over hand into a face full of scales. They scraped against my forehead and cheek and I recoiled at the unexpected sensation and pain. Then I went to pull myself up even faster, escape the water, only to feel something slice across my shoulder. I snapped out a hand for where the attack had come from and grabbed ahold of a fin. I was going to be riddled with injuries and unable to escape if I let the fish have full mobility. So I held on for all I was worth and let go of my root to wrap myself around the fish.

    We sank as it flailed as it tried to break my hold and I tried to claw out its eyes as I clung on. We tossed and turned in the water and I kept waiting for another fish to pummel me in the back but no secondary attack came. My back hit the bottom of the waterway and the fish switched its attention to trying to smother me in the mud and muck. I struggled. I kicked and punched and kept trying to get at its weak spots but my body didn¡¯t listen as well as it should. It was exhausted and wanted to breathe, needed it, in fact, based on the way my bless mark was starting to prickle and burn.

    I sucked in water and dirt and no air. My vision was darkening in a way that had nothing to do with the murky water. I tried to fight but every movement got weaker until all I could do was lay limp in the water while my bless mark burned like miniature sun on my leg. The goddess¡¯s gaze wrapped around me like an unwelcome, scratchy blanket but it never grew strong enough to smother me like the fish tried to do.

    At some point the fish had left but I couldn¡¯t celebrate. It likely thought it had left a dead body in the water, but there were plenty of other fish in the river who might have different ideas.

    Not that I could stop them. However much I hated it, once again I was in a position where I couldn¡¯t move, couldn¡¯t breathe when it was all my body wanted to do. My best chance at safety and not becoming a practice dummy for the horde¡¯s attacks and gaining more wounds, was to hang as limp as a corpse and hope the waterway¡¯s current took me some place that wasn¡¯t full of fish.

    At least the net was in place.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 46

    Hey Everyone, thank you once again for your patience. I thought I would have the chapter out by tonight at the latest for sure, but this is one that I can''t quite settle on apparently. The chapter feels off as I currently have it, so I keep swapping out what I thought would happen next for something else. I don''t want the chapter to be incomplete or have the wrong build up or scene for what the story actually needs, so I''d prefer to work on it a bit more until I''m satisfied with it. It''s close but not quite there yet, so the chapter should actually be posted by tomorrow night or Wednesday (Somehow I keeping slipping back to my old posting day lately...oops). So, sorry for leaving Gimley near drowned for you while you wait for the chapter but hopefully the wait will be worth it. Thanks for reading and I hope you all are enjoying some other good stories in the meantime!Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

 Book 5 - Ch. 46: Water Everywhere

    I drifted. Everything felt too heavy and weak to do anything else. The waterway¡¯s sluggish current dragged me along with it and soon it felt like it tried to help me find every storming fish below the surface. I learned to close my eyes against the silt and debris, stop myself from flinching every time a fin or scaled skin suddenly appeared less than a foot from my face. Instead, with my eyes closed, I pretended that the waterway was absolutely filled with weirdly textured plants and logs. Not dangerous fish that could easily make this whole ordeal even worse in an effort to kill me.

    Drifting like I was, they paid me no more mind than if I was the weird log and leaf. I could sense a crazy idea wanting to form at that realization but my world had narrowed to dirty water filled with enemies and the need to breathe. Somehow, I never bobbed to the surface. Likely if the waterway had been empty it would have been easy but instead the sheer amount of fish pressed me down toward the river bed.

    My lungs ached. Like I was at the very end of an incredibly long sentence and about to draw in the next bit of air to fill in everything that had been emptied out, but I couldn¡¯t get the last word out to take that breath. That, in its own way, was worse than being frozen. Then I had ached to move, but I hadn¡¯t felt starved or thirsty. Now it was like I had an itch I couldn¡¯t scratch, and my mind was screaming that if I didn¡¯t scratch that itch to breathe I would die no matter what the prickling blaze on my thigh meant.

    My world narrowed further to those two sensations: the need to breathe and the burn that meant my blessing was working. Sometimes, it expanded to a third: water flowing where it shouldn¡¯t be as my body tried to suck in a breath it couldn¡¯t get. I had to fight to remain still then, as the urge to choke and flail and struggle begged for me to move, but I knew I should already dead, unable to do anything of those things, so I did the more difficult thing and stayed still, limp. Over time, it became easy to ignore the horde around me¡ªthey couldn¡¯t help me breathe. Instead, they became synonymous with the water. A combined threat that passively, completely, kept me from the air I craved.

    I vowed that, one day, the horde would know what it was like to be denied what they wanted most and that they would know I was one who took it from them.

    Something pressed against my back that wasn¡¯t water and wasn¡¯t scales. Wasn¡¯t air either. In fits and starts it moved, and more and more fish bodies pressed up against me. Some detached part me noted I should be worried, but that had long passed as an option.

    And perhaps that was fine. Whatever I had caught up against was pressing me upwards.

    Air touched my chin, nose¡ªmouth. I tried to suck in a breath, but nothing came. Not caring about the consequences, not with the need driving at me, I finally moved. Shifted my head away from the fish pressing into my face and shoulder and tried again.

    No air. I could feel it on my skin but nothing filled up my lungs. What was this? I needed¡ª

    Everything shifted and I fell. I fell on the horde and the horde fell on me. Something punched into my gut and water spewed from my mouth. Of course.

    I couldn¡¯t stop moving then. Vomiting up water, hacking, curling around my stomach, anything to get the air into my lungs. I needed it.

    Something was going on around me, but I couldn¡¯t think or pay attention to it until that first painful breath burned down my raw throat and aching chest. Then the sounds filtered in. Fish sliding against each other, slapping against soggy ground. They should have been attacking me as soon as they realized I wasn¡¯t a corpse, but no blows came. Their attention was elsewhere. Whistles, the snap and whoosh of thrown weapons, mostly coming from overhead. Slowly, I realized that I must¡¯ve been dredged up by one of the defensive outposts and dropped into their killing field.

    Fish were dying in droves around me and I wished I could help out the tribesfolk, but my body refused to support my weight. I hated lying there, helpless, waiting to see if they would save me. At the very least, I could stick my hands in the gills of the fish I landed on and mess something up. That, at least, wouldn¡¯t require me to stand or sit or crawl anywhere. It could see what having its breath stolen from it was like.

    Multiple bony protrusions raked against my fingers on the inside of the fish¡¯s gills. I growled and ignored the pain to pull at the more delicate parts of the creature¡¯s gills. It squirmed and fought and I had to release what hold I had.

    Bloody hands and no decent payback.

    I punched it.

    It slapped me in the head with its fin and my vision grayed but I clung to consciousness. A second hard slap and everything went dark.

    ¡ª ¡ª

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    I woke on my bunk in the room I was sharing with Ana and Ziek in Bramble Watch. Neither of them were in but Ingrasia was watching me from the top bunk across from me. She sat with one foot dangling, chin propped up in her hand, like I was the most interesting thing she¡¯d seen all day.

    At my movement, she dropped lightly to the floor and held up a cup of liquid that had been resting next to my head. I tried to sit up and take it from her but my body was still irritatingly weak. Everything felt sore from my temples all the way down to my toes. My throat felt raw enough still too that I wasn¡¯t keen on trying to speak.

    She indicated my back. ¡°May I?¡±

    A long second passed as I contemplated denying her help, but I had dealt with more difficult patients than I cared to remember and I called them all fools in my mind. One way or another they still got the treatment they needed or they paid a stupid price. Better not to count myself among their number.

    I nodded slightly, and she set the cup down to help support and guide me into a sitting position against the wall before bringing the cup to my lips. I drank. The liquid was thick and soothing. Part of me tried to identify the ingredients the healer had used without thinking, but there was little I recognized. The environment in the delta was too different from the habitats I knew.

    Ingrasia set the cup down for a final time and smiled. ¡°That¡¯ll make the healer happy. She said you might be hacking up water for a few days but that¡¯ll keep your throat from closing from irritation.¡±

    The drink was soothing enough I decided to chance speaking. ¡°Not too life ridden for you?¡± My voice was soft and hoarse, but I was glad it didn¡¯t break.

    She laughed and flicked a dismissive hand. ¡°We all do what we can. If giving you a drink and helping a healer is enough to put me in the goddess¡¯s bad graces then I¡¯ve been doing something wrong all these years.¡±

    I blinked. That was a more lenient stance than I was used to hearing. But there were more pressing matters, especially considering I had wasn¡¯t sure how long I had been out for. Apparently, long enough to be transported and then treated and bandaged by a healer, but that meant little.

    Ingrasia held up a hand when she noticed I was about to ask another question. ¡°Let me fill you in. I was away for most of it, but I¡¯ve been informed on everything we currently know.¡±

    She paced lightly around the room as she talked, like she wanted to hop up on a railing or one of the bedroll shelves, but there wasn¡¯t anything suitable for her to stand and perch on.

    Ingrasia told me about my trip from Bramble Watch from the tribe¡¯s and Ana¡¯s point of view. How I had suddenly left with Kaylan, only for the whisper woman to report the rare news of a walkway breakage and that the fish had already found it despite the break happening behind the defensive perimeter. How they sent out reinforcements only for Kaylan and me to suddenly disappear again after claiming I could fix how the fish were reaching the new ramp.

    Ana had been surprised by my unexpected request for a net, but everyone had been impressed how quickly my helpers and I got the broken nets fixed together. They had been surprised again when I hauled the net off on my own through the trees, only to show up in another net, dredged out of the river, hours later.

    The defenders had killed off the fish around me as soon as they could once they noticed me attacking the fish in the killing field. They had thought I was dead in the chaos of the fight until one of them saw me punch the stupid fish. Once they recovered me from the killing field and I was confirmed to be breathing, they sent a runner ahead to tell Sect Leader Toniva and Ana while I was lugged back to Bramble Watch.

    Ana went to investigate what happened herself, only to find my injured helpers still waiting with my pack and spear on the walkway, debating whether they should go after me or return to Bramble Watch to tell Sect Leader Toniva that I still hadn¡¯t returned. After that she followed the secret channel, now empty of fish, to the net I had set up.

    She managed to collect my other supplies I had left despite the large crowd of fish doing their best to break through the net and into the channel. It was holding and she had been impressed to see that every hook and tie had been put in place.

    Now all my things were gathered by my bed and Ingrasia informed me that Juniper had managed to kill off the second leviathan before taking care of the fish trying to climb up the broken walkway. They had the broken walkway secured so it was no longer dragging in the water and a new temporary outpost defending the net I had set up until the channel could be secured as well.

    All in all, I had been out for over half a day since I was found, but I hadn¡¯t lost as much time as I thought. There was still daylight if I wanted to be truly stubborn and head back out to reach the river mouth before I fully recovered.

    In return, I told her a very abbreviated version of how I ended up in the tribe¡¯s net. My mark no longer prickled and burned, but I tried to dwell on my time in the water as little as possible.

    Frozen. Drowned.

    My only hope was that when I next came across water in dire circumstances I wasn¡¯t going to get steamed within an inch of my life.

    ¡°Why place the third hook?¡± Ingrasia¡¯s eyes searched my own. ¡°Why not get out of the water when you had the chance?¡±

    I hadn¡¯t even considered that I could climb up onto the tree roots, escape the waterway before more fish came. The final hook hadn¡¯t been placed and I hated to leave anything unfinished, especially when I knew there wouldn¡¯t be a chance to fix it later. Getting the third hook placed could be the only thing letting the net hold against the horde. I was already in the water, hook in hand, unable to die and¡­

    ¡°It needed to be done.¡± I shrugged a shoulder and regretted it as various bruises and sore muscles announced their presence.

    ¡°No wonder Esie likes you.¡± Ingrasia shook her head, smiling. She gestured to the door. ¡°I¡¯ve taken enough of your time and you have a very impatient guest waiting to see you. Normally, exceptions like this wouldn¡¯t be made for new Saplings, but she was very¡­persuasive. I¡¯ll bring her through the shadows.¡±

    My stomach tried to drop and swoop at the same time. There was only one Sapling likely able to bully her way into seeing me, only one that would want to, and only one reason why our long distance conversations were no longer good enough.

    Somehow, Prevna had already learned about my near death experience and I wasn¡¯t in any condition to allay her fears.

 Book 5 - Ch. 47: Confessions

    Prevna strode into the room like there was never any doubt about her coming to see me. Never mind that she belonged to another sect and there was still some unsaid tension between us. The old argument of her wanting me to be safe and me taking risks. She didn¡¯t even glance at the bramble woven walls or the odd bedroll shelves the tribe used to save space. Her gaze locked onto me and she stopped like she had run into a wall.

    I kept my face impassive but I wanted to frown. She looked more rung out than I would¡¯ve expected. Dark circles weighed down her eyes and her lips pinched into a frown. There wasn¡¯t even a hint of her usual teasing attitude, not even the half hearted attempt she had made on the beach. Like something had drained all the energy out of her.

    If the Beastwatchers sect had done that to her, if their training was so harsh, they would regret it. I would ruin them. The wilds could fend for themselves if it came to that.

    Prevna kept staring at me but I didn¡¯t speak. It was clear that she had come with something to say and no matter how much I wanted to learn why she looked exhausted, I wasn¡¯t likely to get my answer until we worked past what she needed to say.

    I didn¡¯t expect her to swallow, turn on her heel, and stride back out the door, however. Prevna didn¡¯t run. She might come at her problems from the side, pretend nothing bothered her for the most part, but she didn¡¯t run away when push came to shove. She was tenacious, like me.

    Except she was running now. After everything she had done to come to see me. The shock of it was enough to hold me in place for several long moments, even without the way my body ached.

    My knees wanted to give out as I used the ladder leading to upper bunk to stand. My arms shook and even my fingers felt sore. I hadn¡¯t been kind to my body the day before, but if I could walk when I should¡¯ve been dead from blood loss I could storming walk now.

    It took longer than I liked to get to the entrance using the wall as support. Ingrasia stepped away from the building as I stepped out and her eyes widened when she saw my face.

    I licked my lips and asked, ¡°Where?¡±

    ¡°Try the berry patch around the corner. It¡¯s secluded.¡± Ingrasia pointed and I followed her finger. She didn¡¯t offer to support me this time and I didn¡¯t ask. More than likely, she knew I wasn¡¯t in any mood to accept.

    So, I shuffle-walked in the direction of the berry patch using the walls for support where I could. I hated how weak my body felt, but I also refused to crawl. Prevna might have run, but if it was due to what I looked like, I didn¡¯t want to give her any more evidence of the toll fighting and nearly dying took on me.

    Luckily, the berry patch wasn¡¯t far. I found Prevna sitting with her head in her hands, staring blankly at the ground in front of her, as far from the walkway as she could get, but the patch grew up the walls of two buildings with only enough space for two people to kneel comfortably between the brambles. True to Ingrasia¡¯s word, however, the path it was connected to wasn¡¯t used as often as the main streets of the outpost.

    Prevna¡¯s head jerked up as I stepped into view. She watched as I took the remaining steps without support and sat facing her. Blocking off her escape route.

    She drew in a long breath, let it out, and went back to looking at the ground but her gaze wasn¡¯t glazed over any more.

    This time I didn¡¯t wait for her to set the pace. ¡°Tell me why you ran.¡± She flinched and I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because of my command or the way my voice sounded. I pushed on regardless. ¡°You haven¡¯t been yourself lately.¡±

    She huffed out a laugh, but there wasn¡¯t any true amusement. ¡°No. I¡¯ve just been an idiot.¡±

    I glared at her. She felt it and lifted her gaze to glare back. She insisted, ¡°It¡¯s true.¡±

    ¡°Tell me.¡±

    Prevna shook her head. ¡°The words never come out right.¡±

    ¡°Tell me anyway.¡±

    She swallowed again and the moment stretched. I wanted to keep pushing, demanding she tell what was wrong, but Rawley had taught me silence could build a bigger pressure than any words. So I watched and waited until she gave in.

    Prevna smiled that knowing smile of hers but it was a shadow of its former strength. ¡°I didn¡¯t like how we left things. I know there¡¯s something you¡¯re not telling me, but I shouldn¡¯t blame you for that when I haven¡¯t you everything either. It¡¯s not that we have to tell each other everything all the time but I¡ª¡± She sighed sharply and cut herself off.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t like how we left things,¡± Prevna nodded to herself as she started again. ¡°The messages weren¡¯t enough. The Beastwatcher sect was interesting enough, but all I could think about was about that next message and how you might not answer. What I would do. I reached out to Esie and asked her to let me know if anything happened. I knew what to expect but I hoped¡­¡±

    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Something in my chest burned. ¡°So you¡¯re like this because of me?¡±

    She laughed and it was slightly hysterical. ¡°No. It¡¯s because I¡¯m a fool.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t explain anything.¡±

    She ticked off points on her fingers. ¡°I wrung myself out worrying that you¡¯d take a risk and I wouldn¡¯t be there to stop you. That you¡¯d get hurt and I couldn¡¯t help you. I hoped that you wouldn¡¯t but then the dreaded message from Esie came through and I wasn¡¯t even surprised. I came here, ready to lay into you for nearly dying and taking another risk.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    Prevna met my gaze. ¡°Seeing you, I couldn¡¯t do it.¡± A pause and then she added, ¡°I don¡¯t think I ever looked properly before.¡±

    I rubbed at the ache forming in my temple. ¡°I don¡¯t understand what you¡¯re trying to say.¡±

    ¡°You told me what happened between you and Fellen,¡± she stated.

    I nodded. It hadn¡¯t been easy, but I had needed Prevna to understand the mistake I had made then. For her to know enough if I ever tried to pull the same thing with her so she could call me out on it.

    ¡°It¡¯s like that. Except rather than trying to scare and hurt you into doing the safe thing I¡¯ve been trying to guilt you into it. Only considering my own feelings and trying to protect myself from the pain of seeing you hurt rather than trying to understand why you keep taking risks. I told myself you¡¯ve been hurt enough and it was only right that I try to shield you from that. And that you were being reckless and only considering yourself and not understanding that your blessing can¡¯t protect you from everything. But that isn¡¯t true, is it?¡±

    I frowned, shaking my head, as I replayed all of the times Prevna tried to stop me from taking risks. I could admit that considering how she might feel had kept me from doing something stupid more than once, but I hadn¡¯t appreciated the way she judged the actions I felt I needed to take.

    Prevna continued, ¡°If you didn¡¯t have your blessing, if you could die, you¡¯d still do most of the reckless stuff you¡¯ve done, wouldn¡¯t you?¡±

    I might not step in front of a spear for a woman I didn¡¯t particularly like, but I couldn¡¯t deny I might have done something equally risky to try to stop it.

    ¡°I would.¡±

    Some things just needed to be done and I might as well be the one to do them.

    But she still hadn¡¯t answered one question. ¡°Why did you run?¡±

    Prevna reached out, hesitated, and then brushed her thumb under my eye and down my cheek when I didn¡¯t stop her. ¡°Sometimes you remind me of one of the goddess¡¯s favored pine trees. Always strong, no matter what storms might batter at you. You were daring me to say something and I was too ashamed to admit what I had been planning to do when you were the one who almost died.¡±

    I lifted my chin. ¡°I don¡¯t want your pity.¡±

    ¡°Exactly.¡± She nodded. ¡°That¡¯s the look. I told you back in the inner valleys that you should trust me to take care of myself and I¡¯d trust you to do the same, but I haven¡¯t been doing that. So it¡¯s time I trust you.¡±

    I blinked and tried to figure out the best response. This was Prevna, but trust wasn¡¯t something I was used to having.

    ¡°You won¡¯t keep trying to convince me to be safe?¡±

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not going to stay silent if you try to do something truly stupid, but, yes, I¡¯ll stop trying to guilting you into being someone different. You take risks, but its always to protect someone or achieve something no one else would dare to try. I¡¯m the fool for trying to change that about you.¡±

    My jaw clenched. She had said that too many times. I protested, ¡°You¡¯re not a fool.¡±

    She didn¡¯t agree or deny it, so I glowered at her. ¡°You¡¯re not.¡± When my insistence still didn¡¯t seem to resonate with her, I had to glance away to admit, ¡°I¡¯m glad you cared.¡±

    Her breath caught and we sat in silence for awhile before Prevna said, ¡°I never told you when I realized we¡¯d be friends. It didn¡¯t happen right away. At first you were an interesting challenge. A puzzle. I wanted to see how far I could push you, see if I could get you to snap, even as I was drawn to you since we were both marked outcasts. But then I kept seeing more sides of you and Fellen asked me to help you despite the fact that you cut her to the core.¡±

    Her voice softened, gained her usual wry edge, as she continued, ¡°I knew I was doomed that day we saw the Beloved. You broke down on the tunnel stairs and I could hear how panicked you were but then you picked yourself up without my help. But that wasn¡¯t what did it. The moment that stands out to me the most from that day was when we had to go back up the stairs. Despite what happened on the way down you strode into that narrow tunnel like it should be the one afraid. You were so brave and I knew then that you were so much more than a challenge.¡±

    I raised my eyebrows at her, amused. ¡°I walked up some stairs and won your loyalty?¡±

    She huffed. ¡°This is why I didn¡¯t tell you before.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to walk up plenty of stairs and ramps and anything else that might pique your interest in the future. Just to make sure you¡¯re still invested.¡± It felt nice to tease her in return, when she was often the one quicker to the punch.

    Prevna mock frowned at me. ¡°Gimley. That wasn¡¯t the point and you know it.¡±

    ¡°But it takes a lot of bravery to climb stairs, you know. Skill too. One foot and then the other, over and over again. I¡¯d show you now¡±¡ªI hissed in a breath as I shifted and my whole body protested¡ª¡°but I¡¯m a little busy at the moment.¡±

    ¡°Gimley.¡± Prevna¡¯s tone implored me to stop teasing. ¡°Are we okay? Do you understand now?¡±

    I leaned forward and all the memories I had stuffed away threatened to burst free in my mind at the way her eyes widened and she licked her lips as she noticed my movement. ¡°There might be one last thing we need to discuss.¡±

    Prevna had been vulnerable. She had taken a risk and she wasn¡¯t going to keep pushing me to be something I wasn¡¯t. We were in separate sects but she had still managed to come see me. I didn¡¯t want to ruin what we had, but I also wasn¡¯t keen on returning to the silent discord hiding my interest had brought.

    Rushing things wasn¡¯t smart, but she had asked if I understood. I wanted to make sure she did as well.

    I said, ¡°If you can accept me as I am, then I¡¯ll do everything I can to accept you too. As friends or¡­¡± I almost couldn¡¯t say the last part, almost pretended that my throat was acting up and I couldn¡¯t speak but the hope that was growing on her face pushed me to say the final word, ¡°more.¡±

 Book 5 - Ch. 48: More

    ¡°More?¡± If Prevna¡¯s eyes got any wider I was worried they¡¯d fall out of her head.

    I stared back at her, all the bravery gone out of me. I could feel the temptation to say something cutting, to take it back, just so the tension would be a more familiar flavor, but this was Prevna so I couldn¡¯t do that. Couldn¡¯t repeat the mistake I made with Fellen, so I just stared at her and hoped she would take the lead so I wouldn¡¯t say something we¡¯d both regret.

    I needed her to answer. Or I needed to be the one to walk away now. I needed for something to happen other than her looking like I had just dropped a rock on her head.

    Prevna flexed her hands like she wanted to reach out to me but had suddenly forgotten how. ¡°More?¡± That time she said it more to herself than me.

    She had to understand. Right? She had to. There were all those little moments when her touch had lingered or I¡¯d caught her looking at my lips or like when we were on¡ª

    ¡°The beach.¡± Oh no. I needed to be in control but now my mouth was moving without any seeming consent from my mind and that never happened but I needed Prevna to understand. ¡°I told you I was remembering you as a friend¡­but that wasn¡¯t quite true.¡±

    Prevna¡¯s gaze finally sharpened. ¡°No?¡±

    The challenge in her eyes felt like a saving grace. Something familiar, something I could cling to in a world I had just shoved off its axis. Something I thrived with.

    I smiled back, my own challenge to her. ¡°I have a place stuffed full of memories of you in my mind and it¡¯s always about to burst open because I have to keep adding memories to it.¡±

    ¡°What kind of memories?¡±

    ¡°Different kinds. But the first one that started it all was when you wore your hair down for the Heartsong Festival in the Rookery.¡±

    She pulled her hair free of its tie and then ran her fingers through the braid on the left side of her head to loosen it. ¡°Like this?¡±

    I nodded, mouth suddenly dry. Clearing my throat, I added, ¡°And there was a time when you leaned in¡­¡±

    I couldn¡¯t get the rest out as Prevna leaned in and her breath whispered across my ear and throat. ¡°Like this?¡±

    ¡°Like that.¡±

    She chuckled. ¡°You¡¯ve done this to me too and I almost¡ª¡± She cut herself off as she drew back to look me in the eye, eyebrows raised slightly. ¡°What else?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What other memories do you have of me?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t think of a single thing other than the way she was right in front of me, eyes teasing and bright with warmth, lips only a breath away, silken hair brushing against my arm as it framed her face perfectly. I reached up, and when she didn¡¯t pull away, wrapped a piece of her hair around my fingers lightly and slid my hand down its length.

    ¡°This would be a memory.¡±

    ¡°Something to treasure forever?¡±

    ¡°Remembered for eternity.¡±

    ¡°Lucky me.¡± Prevna took a deep breath and broke from her teasing, challenging look to something more earnest. ¡°More?¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re willing.¡± My heart felt like it was going to give out, but my mark didn¡¯t so much as prickle.

    Her gaze dropped to my lips. ¡°May I?¡±

    ¡°Please.¡±

    Prevna gently cupped my jaw with one hand, leaned in and kissed me.

    I lost all ability to think. To worry and plan and spiral about all the things I needed to do and hadn¡¯t done. In that moment there was just Prevna. Her and nothing else¡­and that was enough when nothing had ever been enough.

    Some part of me tried to scream in warning. That I was in too deep and that this was dangerous and that she could hurt me but that part got swallowed in the roar of sensations of kissing Prevna.

    Soft lips, smooth skin, silken hair. That was all that mattered until we pulled apart and she smiled at me.

    ¡°Have any more memories for me?¡±

    I was about to answer when shouts rose up in the distance in Bramble Watch and reality crashed back into our hideaway. There were still tribesfolk and fish fighting all around up us. The horde was still pressing in and I still didn¡¯t have the answer I needed to stop them.

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    Prevna sighed and sat back as I looked toward the shouts, but she smiled again when I focused back on her. ¡°Rest a bit longer and tell me what¡¯s happening here. Perhaps I can help.¡±

    Somehow my head ended up in her lap as she worked her fingers through my hair and listened. I was grateful for the drink from the healer Ingrasia had given me, because my throat held out as I told Prevna everything from the proxy war to Juniper and the Water Frond Snake, and everything we had done to try and stop the horde in the delta.

    By the end of it, she gave me a look of exasperated amusement. ¡°That¡¯s a fair bit more trouble than you made it sound in our messages.¡±

    I shrugged a shoulder. ¡°Only so much I could say.¡±

    Prevna huffed. ¡°And, in the end, you could become one of the Chosen?¡±

    I nodded. That possibility was something I wanted but it felt too distant and big to claim out loud just yet. I hadn¡¯t accomplished much in this proxy war so far, so called farce or not.

    She rolled her eyes. ¡°Of course, though I¡¯m not sure I¡¯d want to catch Her attention. Getting as close as we did in the valleys was close enough.¡±

    I could agree that the lava had been terrifying, but part of me couldn¡¯t help but think that was because we had been below Her notice. She had no reason to care about us, but if I was one of the Chosen¡­well, at least then I had proven I had the means to catch Her attention and I could capture it again. In the end, that could be ill advised, but I wasn¡¯t about to languish in the common ranks of whisper women if I could help it. I needed to prove that I could reach higher than that.

    Silence enveloped us for a while before Prevna asked, almost a whisper, ¡°Was the net worth it?¡±

    I frowned. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I haven¡¯t heard how it held up or what happened with the broken pathway.¡±

    A thumb skimmed over my throat and a bruise before she held both sides of my face so I had to look up at her, not that I would have hidden away, not now. She asked again, ¡°Was it worth it?¡±

    I reached up and squeezed one of her hands, trying to be reassuring, before I sat up and faced her. ¡°It never even crossed my mind to leave the water. I did everything I could. That¡¯s always better than giving up.¡±

    ¡°Of course you¡¯d say that. You¡¯re unstoppable.¡± Prevna considered for a moment before adding, ¡°Like the horde that keeps pouring in.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t exactly keen on being equated with the fish but I interested to see what she would say. ¡°So what would you do to stop me?¡±

    Prevna drew close again, like she was going to kiss me, before suddenly something tart burst on my tongue. She had slipped one of the bramble berries into my mouth. Somehow they were still growing despite the cold season. A mystery I would¡¯ve been more drawn to at any other time.

    She winked at me. ¡°Distract and redirect.¡±

    I licked my lips and then laughed at the way her focus got stuck there. ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind.¡±

    I even put the tactic to use right away. Rather than dwell on the situation I couldn¡¯t fix yet, I remembered to ask her to tell me what she had been up to. She gave me a look that she knew exactly what I was doing, but Prevna still told me about her training.

    Apparently, the Beastwatchers sect took their time teaching their recruits all about the different environments in the goddess¡¯s territory. They started with the goddess¡¯s great forest in the south and then switched to other locations, but they spent months at a time living in and learning about the different plants and animals in each area. They learned how to tell when an area was healthy and different environmental hazards to keep an eye out for. How to find, track, and hunt various monsters and beasts.

    Prevna was still supposed to be in the great forest, learning all of its intricacies, but her new mentors had bowed under the weight of the Lady of Calm Waters requesting her presence to help a Chosen candidate. I suspected Esie had used our patron¡¯s name rather than the Lady of Calm Waters actually making the request, but the result was the same.

    Prevna was here, and my name was once more swirling through the ranks of whisper women and tied to my patron¡¯s. A Sapling as a Chosen candidate? I wasn¡¯t sure why Esie would tip her hand so early with that information, but I knew that Jin was likely even more eager to kick me out of Seedling Palace so I couldn¡¯t break even more norms.

    I did know that there would truly be no fading in anonymity now. Even if I wasn¡¯t Chosen, no whisper woman was likely to forget that I had been nominated. Just like the fact that even though I didn¡¯t have much choice in the matter, I didn¡¯t want to waste the rare opportunity. Still, most of the regular activities of a Hundred Eyes sect member, as I understood them, would be beyond me with infamy following me around like a flashy cloak.

    Then again, if I did go beyond the border into Azabel¡¯s territory, no one would know me there. I could gather information and trust without the person weighing all the stories attached to my name¡ªat least once I learned what Ingrasia and the others did so our black lips didn¡¯t give us away to the locals.

    ¡°Gimley?¡±

    I blinked and came out of my thoughts. Prevna titled her head in question, ¡°Are you thinking about everyone knowing about you?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. I¡¯m glad you came.¡±

    She gave me one of her knowing smiles. ¡°I was going to say that you should give them something to really talk about.¡±

    I raised my eyebrows in surprise. ¡°Take a risk?¡±

    She ran her gaze over me from the crown of my head to my toes and I had to fight off the flush that wanted to rise up on my neck and cheeks. ¡°Sometimes they¡¯re worth it.¡±

    ¡°What makes me a risk?¡± I narrowed my eyes at her, half truly concerned and half teasing.

    ¡°Your ability to find trouble.¡± She touched her forehead to mine. ¡°But I¡¯m glad you found me.¡±

    I almost argued the point that she tackled me first and then followed me around everywhere before I remembered that I had found her eyes in that bush right before the ambush and let her have her point. I was good at finding trouble, even if sometimes it found me first.

    We talked for a bit longer, teasing and settling into our new dynamic. On one hand, it seemed as if not much had changed. We were still comfortable with each other, still swapped between earnest and joking conversation. Everything was easy. On the other hand, everything had changed. There was a new tension between us, a new awareness of looks and movement and what might be an invitation for a touch or kiss and what might not. All things we had shared and still hadn¡¯t yet said that got us to this moment. A sense that there was now an ¡°us¡± rather just ¡°her¡± or ¡°I¡± and I wasn¡¯t quite sure how to handle that feeling. I had no precedent. But it was something I hoped I could settle into without smothering her or myself. Something for us to figure out together.

 Book 5 - Ch. 49: The Hound

    Prevna couldn¡¯t stay. She had her training to get back to that she was never supposed to have left, and I had to somehow stop the unstoppable force that was the horde. Prevna was capable, but even she couldn¡¯t poison the whole horde into submission. This was my fight, my proving ground. We both understood that even if we both silently wished she could stay.

    She pressed her lips to my brow before pulling back. ¡°The next time I see you, you¡¯ll be victorious.¡±

    ¡°The fish will cower before me.¡± I squeezed her hand. Not able to do more with all the eyes on us. ¡°The Beastwatchers better know how lucky they are to have you.¡±

    Prevna chuckled. ¡°They¡¯re learning.¡±

    We shared a parting smile and Prevna walked over to where a tribeswoman was waiting with the summoning branch. She had helped me back to the command center at my insistence rather than returning to my quarters. If I had to rest and recover I could at least do it where I could still be up to date on information. However, I hadn¡¯t considered that meant that the whole outpost would turn out to stare at us. Apparently, rumors of how I had fought alongside the tribesfolk, built the net that protected the breach, and then my survival of fish infested waters had spread quickly among the tribe. They either praised me for my courage or condemned me for my stupidity when they thought they wouldn¡¯t be overheard, but they all wanted a peek at the person in question. I hadn¡¯t been ignored before, not as a whisper woman in their eyes, but now they were definitely paying attention and their curiosity only flamed higher when they saw me interacting with Prevna.

    Ingrasia stepped in front of me. I looked up at her from where I was sitting on a cushion. She said, ¡°Your first request should be arriving within the day. Your second will take more time. Audiences aren¡¯t granted lightly.¡±

    I nodded. That was about what I expected, though I was a little surprised either request had been approved already. It looked like she was about to say more but there was a commotion at the command post¡¯s entrance as Ziek strode in, dripping wet and carrying a lumpy sack.

    Tribe Master Toniva cut off the conversation she had been having at the sight of her and commanded, ¡°Out! Everyone out! Only disturb us if there¡¯s another breach in the defensive perimeter.¡±

    Her people shuffled out of the room quickly while my mind raced, trying to figure out why she hadn¡¯t just spoken to Ziek in the private back room. I had only seen Ziek a few times since I sent her off on the mission to sniff out what had changed the horde¡¯s behavior, if anything. She hadn¡¯t found anything definitive then, but obviously something had changed since I got caught in the water.

    My body didn¡¯t want to move, but I dragged myself up and made my way over to the map. Prevna had hesitated by the doorway before she walked over to the cushion to I left behind to pick it up and met me by the map at the same time I reached it. Hating how slow and weak I still was, I lowered myself onto it and she stood behind my shoulder in solidarity.

    In the end, Tribe Master Toniva, Ingrasia, Ziek, Ana, Prevna and I all stood around the map on the floor. Juniper¡¯s mother didn¡¯t seem perturbed to be surrounded by whisper women, but perhaps that was because she had grown used to working with us or because what Ziek had was too important for her to consider anything else. Something she needed to see first before her people.

    Ziek set her sack down and carefully let it fall open so that its contents were revealed without her touching them. Inside the bag were a handful of multicolored¡­gems. Except that even as I thought the word it seemed wrong, but I didn¡¯t have anything better to use as a descriptor. Each one was a mix of vibrant gold, green, red, and blue but the colors didn¡¯t bleed into each other. They flowed around each other, distinctly separate even when the colors were as thin as a hair, and the golden mourning yellow dominated the rest. Foreboding filled my stomach at the thought of them mixing together like a long forgotten instinct even though I was sure I had never seen these things before.

    They all varied in size but were rounded and smooth on all sides except one, as if they had been chipped off something larger. Those rough sides were the only flaw on each piece. An irritant on otherwise perfect object. They also lay in a small pool of water at the bottom of the bag.

    Ziek pointed the smallest one. ¡°I found that one first where the fish were gathering around the broken walkway. It was anchored in a web of roots. There were traces of the same smell it gives off in the channel but those flecks were too small for me to find.¡± She gestured the other gems. ¡°I found these scattered in the water around Bramble Watch and a few of the other important choke points. I had one more but it crumbled when I dried it so I kept the rest in water.¡±

    She pointed out the specific spots on the map. Ingrasia already looked like she desperately wished she had something to perch on, like Ziek had given her the worst possible news, but she let her apprentice finish her report.

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    ¡°I also learned not to touch them with just my skin. It¡¯s¡­unpleasant.¡± Ziek drew in a fortifying breath. ¡°There was another scent on each of these items, mixed in with their metallic scent. Ambervale¡¯s.¡±

    There was a sharp inhale of breath around the room. Ingrasia raised her eyebrows. ¡°Anything else?¡±

    Ziek nodded. ¡°I had to sort through the other scents first, the fresher ones. But she has scent trails all over the delta, old ones from before she came here with us, multiple ones where she goes off the paths and into the trees. There was one trail she seemed to use over and over again that led out of the delta to a cluster of pines about a quarter mile away.¡±

    Tribe Master Toniva frowned. ¡°She has visited us in the past. Asking what we know of the Lady Blue, telling tales of fighting the horde elsewhere, but there were no reports of her leaving the paths and she didn¡¯t visit when the fish¡¯s behavior changed. Her behavior this past time was the worst it¡¯s ever been.¡±

    ¡°Her blessing is unique,¡± Ana explained. ¡°Her speed increases in the water. It¡¯s what started her fascination with the Lady Blue. She could have slipped in the water when the fish weren¡¯t everywhere and swam under the surface to where she needed to go. She was likely a fast moving ripple to your people and she doesn¡¯t have the scales they¡¯re trained to look for. That¡¯s not a fault of your people, our blessings aren¡¯t easily countered when there¡¯s so many to take into consideration.¡±

    ¡°But why?¡± Tribe Master Toniva pressed. ¡°Why sneak around and plant these things?¡±

    ¡°Betrayal.¡± The word was like a spear to the gut. Unthinkable, terrible. The worst offense in the goddess¡¯s eyes. Ingrasia widened the wound. ¡°Those things are drops of the Lady Blue¡¯s blood. Crystallized potential for transformation. They create abominations. They have to stay in contact with her domain or they disintegrate, but the blood only crystallizes in certain circumstances. Most droplets don¡¯t last long enough for the fish to devour them. I wouldn¡¯t have thought the delta was salty enough for the crystals to stay formed, but it¡¯s no wonder the fish are in such a frenzy if this is what they are after.¡±

    I stared at the multicolored crystals. The Lady Blue¡¯s blood was five feet from me. Something of legend. Something that was wrong on a fundamental level. Something that could cause the goddess to level everything in the area in a fit of anger.

    Something that change the entire flow of the fish into the delta.

    I barely noticed that Prevna had my shoulder in a vice-like grip or the way Ingrasia cocked her head to listen to a whisper on the wind. If these crystals were what had brought the horde bearing down on the delta without ceasing then if we destroyed them¡­or moved them¡­we could get the horde back to the more normal levels the tribesfolk were used to. That still wouldn¡¯t save the delta, it was still a trap that was far past its prime and degrading further, but it would give us more breathing room to fix things and hold against the horde when the Lady Blue inevitably realized how well throwing an unceasing amount of fish at the problem worked.

    I had little doubt that Ambervale also likely had sabotaged the walkway so it would break and fall right where she wanted. There were likely other compromised spots as well. However, in trying to help speed up the horde¡¯s conquering of the delta, she had given us the one tool we needed to turn things around. If she could roughly position the fish with these things then we could do the same. Draw them back to the ocean or into traps.

    The only problem with that plan was that I had no desire to see what kind of abomination Ingrasia meant if a fish did manage to get a hold of a droplet. Nor was I keen on the chaos that would likely follow if we just destroyed the crystals and the fish lost what was driving them forward¡ªof course that might already be happening since Ziek had removed them from the waterways.

    ¡°Did you notice any behavior changes in the fish when you removed the¡­crystals from the waterways?¡± I asked.

    Ziek shook her head. ¡°I didn¡¯t stay long at each location to find out. I wasn¡¯t sure what these were but I wanted to thwart Ambervale¡¯s plans as quickly as possible once I connected her with them. I was focused on removing all of them that I could find as quickly as possible.¡±

    I looked at Tribe Master Toniva who answered my silent question. ¡°We noticed some changing movements, but there wasn¡¯t anything definitive enough to change our current strategy.¡±

    I looked back at Ziek. ¡°Did you do the outposts or Bramble Watch last?¡±

    ¡°Bramble Watch. The fish haven¡¯t reached here yet so I helped the most at risk places first.¡±

    I nodded in acknowledgment before asking, ¡°So now that all the crystals we know of are out of the water what¡¯s stopping the fish from returning to their previous behavior? From heading up the river?¡±

    Ana paled and spun to face Ingrasia. ¡°They¡¯re not ready at the river mouth. It won¡¯t hold.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not meant to hold. Not indefinitely.¡±

    ¡°I doubt they have enough water built up. They need more time.¡±

    I pushed past all the questions I wanted to ask to understand what they were asking about and instead focused on what mattered. We were on a time crunch. ¡°Then let¡¯s give them more time. The crystals can go back into the water.¡±

    ¡°My people¡ª¡± Tribe Master Toniva started to protest.

    I held up a hand and she stopped.

    ¡°How indestructible is the Water Frond Snake?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Very.¡±

    ¡°Then Juniper could protect the one or more crystals we give her and she could lead all the fish on a chase around the delta or even just draw them back to the ocean. Once we¡¯ve bought the time we need then we could destroy the crystals and deal with the remaining fish that ignored the crystals.¡±

    She could be the savior of her people like she always wanted.

    Ingrasia nodded. ¡°Let¡¯s go with that then. We¡¯ll need to move quickly before chaos takes over. Where is she now?¡±

    That I didn¡¯t have the answer to, but I hoped it wasn¡¯t far, so we didn¡¯t have to stick a crystal or two back under Bramble Watch just to keep the horde¡¯s attention.

 Book 5 - Ch. 50: Compulsions

    Things moved fast after I made my suggestion. Too fast for me to my frustration. My body wasn¡¯t nearly recovered enough to go sprinting off to the perimeter where Juniper was killing every fish who came too close. Time was of the essence given that fish could start streaming up the waterways at any moment and overwhelm whatever the whisper women were doing at the river mouth. Waiting for me to hobble way over just so I could do what another could do easier and faster wasn¡¯t the smartest move.

    It grated on me not to take care of the task myself, but Ana and Ziek were more than capable of getting Juniper¡¯s attention, explaining the plan, and getting the crystals fixed in place. Between Prevna and Ingrasia¡¯s presence it was difficult to forget that I was supposed to be delegating and that leading a small team didn¡¯t mean doing everything myself. The others had already proven themselves, I just had to rest and recover so I could do my part as well.

    I ended up on the bramble wall closest to where Juniper¡¯s location had been reported.

    My legs had cramped near the wall, sore and weak and aching, but after the cramps passed I managed the final steps with Prevna¡¯s help. We were a little awkward with each other since we had said our goodbyes and then she was still here, but I was¡­glad for it since the awkwardness meant we had more time together.

    If I slept I¡¯d miss what time I had left with her. I¡¯d miss what was likely going to be a quickly evolving situation with Juniper and any other changes that could happen. I¡¯d just seen something of legend and survived another near death experience.

    Prevna and I had kissed.

    My mind wouldn¡¯t stop thinking, reviewing, planning. We finally had something we could use to turn the tide of the horde and I wanted to be there to witness it. Even if I couldn¡¯t see much of the fish from the wall since the perimeter was doing its job.

    Prevna pressed her thumb into the furrows between my eyebrows. ¡°Is this like when you couldn¡¯t sleep in the inner valleys? Or when you worked yourself to the bone in the Warming Winds¡¯ home?¡±

    I frowned. ¡°No.¡± Then I reconsidered, ¡°Sort of. I don¡¯t want to miss anything.¡±

    ¡°What if I promise to tell you every little thing that happens?¡±

    ¡°You have to go back to your training.¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°I do. I will, but Ingrasia has suddenly found herself very busy and so is every other whisper women around here. Too busy to shuttle around around a seedling. A few hours won¡¯t change much for me, but a few hours of rest could be critical for you.¡±

    She saw I was about to protest, so she added, ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to let you know the next time I might need to nap on your lap.¡±

    My gaze swept down to her lap. It wouldn¡¯t be the first time I had rested my head there, but the opportunities had been few and far between and the situation felt different now. Idra and Ento might have been able to hang all over each other without a care in the world, but this was more intimate, vulnerable, than what I typically allowed, especially if I was going to sleep.

    Prevna waited. Let me make the decision without any added pressure. If I wanted I could go back to my bedroll and she would help support me there without complaint. Or I could lay my head on her lap here and ignore all the uncomfortable bumps on the bramble wall. Or I could combine the two ideas together and get the added privacy of the sleeping quarters¡¯ walls. There was no true rest out here or in the command center under the whole tribe¡¯s scrutiny.

    ¡°You¡¯ll tell me everything?¡±

    ¡°Every last detail.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯ll wake me up if I¡¯m needed?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    I drew in a deep breath, let it out. ¡°Then let¡¯s go back to my quarters. I¡¯ll rest there.¡± Her face fell, so I lightly brushed my fingers across her knee. ¡°Hopefully your offer will still be open.¡±

    Prevna grinned. ¡°Tease.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure what to say to that as my cheeks flushed, so I shoved myself to my feet and she was quick to support me, like she had always been by my side. Our return to my quarters was slow going but I didn¡¯t push myself as hard as I had before. Stopping because a cramp took me down once was embarrassing enough.

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    My mind blanked again, just a little, at the sight of Prevna climbing onto my bedroll. I felt like a fool, but my thoughts were immediately cast back to the berry patch and wondering if her lips might taste different here.

    Prevna caught my look as she turned around and settled into a seated position. Her face flushed this time but she said in admonishing tone, ¡°Sleep.¡±

    I held back a sigh and climbed onto the shelf holding my bedroll before laying down to rest. I went slow, giving her time to change her mind or adjust, but she stayed where she was. When my head rested on her lap she ran her fingers through my hair.

    She said, ¡°I might not have the sleeping effects of the valley¡¯s fog, but I think I¡¯ll have you out just as fast.¡±

    ¡°Prove it.¡±

    She kept playing with my hair and I closed my eyes. I was asleep only a couple minutes later.

    - -

    When I woke I drank another one of the healer¡¯s concoctions though I was glad I could lift the cup to my lips without help or spilling the drink everywhere. I did cough up some water, but I could tell that some of the soreness had already faded¡ªeverything still hurt to move, but not quite as much as before. However, I did have a vague sense of deja vu as the current situation was similar to when I had first woken up after nearly drowning.

    Prevna kept her word and was still there when I opened my eyes. In fact, she had fallen asleep herself against the wall and I took the moment to appreciate seeing her relaxed. She could affect appearing calm and easygoing, but it was a rare moment when her guard was down completely.

    Despite her own nap, she was able to tell me all of what happened while I was asleep, and I learned that my nap hadn¡¯t been so much as a nap as a full night¡¯s rest. I had slept through the evening meal to the next morning. Prevna was pretty pleased with herself that I had slept so long, but I was frustrated I had wasted so much time and forced her to spend the night sitting upright since she apparently hadn¡¯t wanted to risk waking me up.

    She stretched and said it wasn¡¯t the first time she¡¯d slept sitting before she moved into telling me what had happened. Ana and Ziek had carefully affixed two crystals of blood to the roof of the Water Frond Snake¡¯s mouth so that Juniper could chomp on any fish that went for them. Every other spot had been too vulnerable to the horde. Now she was racing around the delta as the fish desperately threw themselves after her. Sometimes she would increase her size and reverse course, thinning the mob chasing after her while other times she¡¯d use the Water Frond Snake¡¯s abilities to shift the water around it to push fish out of the way and slip through gaps in their ranks with her smallest size. Tribe Master Toniva had been quick to send out what squads could be spared to set up along her predicted route and kill more fish as they passed.

    Not all the fish chased the crystals, however. While two crystals had a strong pull, they didn¡¯t have the same draw as the handful of crystals that had been in the water, so when she pulled too far away and the fish weren¡¯t able to keep up, they shifted back to either trying to assault Bramble Watch or the river mouth, so the protections at both locations couldn¡¯t be relaxed and more fish were still pouring in, unable to resist the draw of the crystals.

    Things had improved, but they weren¡¯t ideal, not yet. Either we¡¯d have to send Juniper out into the ocean so the crystals would draw all the fish away from the delta, which would put her at considerable risk, even as the Water Frond Snake, or we¡¯d have to somehow set up the remaining crystals along the shore so the fish would be drawn to them but wouldn¡¯t continue further into the delta. That also increased the chances of one of them getting lucky though, so that we ended up with an abomination on our hands.

    There was another thing that had gone in our favor though. A bird screeched as Prevna and I stepped out of the sleeping quarters.

    People shouted as a large shape swept by and then back up into the sky. I grinned as I recognized Anore, the storm bird who had taken a liking to me.

    My first request of Ingrasia was to see if she could negotiate to bring at least some of the storm birds to the delta. While they were often only used for transport I thought that it might be helpful to use their natural inclination to hunt fish to thin some of the horde¡¯s numbers.

    The trouble was that there wasn¡¯t any good locations in the delta for them to nest as the trees weren¡¯t big enough to support the birds weight, but there also wasn¡¯t enough room for them to land between the trees. So they had found a spot to the north with enough open ground that the birds could nest and run to take off. From what Prevna told me only seven storm birds had come, including Anore, since most of the flock had to stay in reserve in case other whisper women needed them and because this idea hadn¡¯t been fully tested. They were already proving valuable in harrying the fish in the wider channels and out in the open water. Anything that made things more difficult for the horde was a win.

    I was determined to get up in the air and see everything above, but first it was time for Prevna to actually leave. Ingrasia wasn¡¯t able to keep putting off bringing her back to her mentors as putting it off any longer could lead to trouble between sects. I was alive and fine and Prevna knew it, so that would have to be enough for now.

    ¡°That was the best sleep I¡¯ve had in a long time. Thank you,¡± I said.

    She smiled her knowing smile. ¡°Glad I could be of service.¡± Prevna squeezed my hand. ¡°Do what you need to, but be safe, okay? I¡¯d rather not fish you out of the bottom of the river, but I will if I have to.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind.¡±

    She joined Ingrasia by the summoning branch, took my mentor¡¯s hand, and after one last look back, stepped into the shadow. Here and gone again, just like that. But that was the way it had to be for now. She had her obligations and I had mine. Now it was time for me to get back to addressing mine. I had a river mouth to check, fish to kill or drive away, and, if I found Kaylan, a story to collect.

 Notice about Book 5 - Ch. 51

    Hi everyone, unfortunately it looks like I''m not going to be able to get the chapter up tonight, but I will definitely have it up by Tuesday or Wednesday. Thank you for your patience with me and for reading! I want to get back to posting on a consistent day, which Sunday does still work the best for in theory, but I''ve had a few things that popped up that have made that more difficult in reality. I know some of you have suggested posting every other week, and while I appreciate your willingness to wait I do still want to keep my commitment of posting once a week as best I can. I think it helps to keep the story flowing and I like getting you all a chapter with at least that frequency. I had the rhythm of it for a couple years but some new kinks have come up in the last year or so that I keep thinking I''ve figured out but ultimately don''t have completely back on track. So thank you again for your patience with me and for reading and I hope you enjoy where the story goes next because we are about to the point where things start coming together more in this book!

    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

 Book 5 - Ch. 51: A New Perspective

    I had two options to still see the river mouth at the start of the delta: try to make my way along the raised pathways again or get a bird¡¯s eye view. I was partial to the second option since it would also allow me to get better insight into what was happening throughout the delta with my own eyes, but I knew my strength hadn¡¯t recovered enough to climb the knotted rope up to the storm bird¡¯s saddle. Walking all the way to river mouth was also debatable, but I was sure I could force myself to cover the distance if I had to.

    That said, since Anore was here, there was another way for me to get up into the sky, I just wasn¡¯t sure how to communicate it with her as there wasn¡¯t an official signal to tell a storm bird to catch you in its beak. It wasn¡¯t something I had ever seen the other storm birds do except when directed by a rider, but Anore had done it twice without hesitation on her own. And given the way Tufani had reacted to finding me in her nest, those were unlikely the only times Anore had used her beak to catch those she considered wingless, helpless chicks.

    Which meant that if I got her attention and pretended to be in danger, she might swoop in to save me. Bramble Watch was surrounded by a ring of water which was in turn surrounded by trees and raised walkways so that the tribe members could attack the fish from all sides if they ever got close to their home. That area likely had the most open space in the delta unless I went to one of the major waterways and took my chances with the fish again.

    I made my way back to the top of the defensive bramble wall, near where Prevna and I had our talk the day before. I didn¡¯t cramp on the way to the wall this time and I was quietly gratified to have proof that I was recovering. I whistled and Anore screeched back me from where she wheeled overhead. Another storm bird was flying with her and the knotted rope was dangling from its saddle. It flew high enough to keep the rope from knotting with any errant branches or other obstacles. When I squinted my eyes against the sun¡¯s glare it looked like there might be someone on Anore¡¯s back.

    Rather than plunge off the wall for no reason, I tried to send a whisper to the rider but the wind kept dissipating immediately after I tried to send them a message which meant they weren¡¯t a whisper woman. I tried to send wind whispers to the fire starters in Mishtaw¡¯s group so I¡¯d know what it felt like when the boon failed¡ªthough that didn¡¯t help with gauging when the whisper I sent to Prevna or another whisper woman went through other than getting confirmation through a reply.

    The mystery rider also hadn¡¯t responded to my whistle, which meant they didn¡¯t know what it meant or hadn¡¯t heard it over the sound of Anore¡¯s flight. Or were ignoring me. I cast a glance at the drop to water below. Things would certainly be easier if I could get the other person to direct Anore to grab me, but that didn¡¯t seem to be happening any time soon.

    Compared to falling off the root wall or jumping off the bone ribs in the Rookery, the fall from the top of Bramble Watch wasn¡¯t that far at all. Part of me doubted that Anore would be able to catch me before I plunged into the water.

    But falling was easy. Might as well take the risk if it meant getting in the air.

    I whistled again and let myself slip over the side of the bramble wall before anyone could stop me. Someone shouted and air rushed by but I didn¡¯t feel a bird¡¯s beak close around me before I plunged into the water below.

    Everything ached as memories tried to surge. Rough fish scales, chest begging for air, helpless. I clawed my way to the surface, gulped down a large breath of air, and went to glare at the sky only to find the water dropping away from me and the clouds getting closer.

    Anore had fished me out of the water. She gave me a suspicious look with the eye I could see. I rested my free hand on her beak and resisted the urge to complain that I wasn¡¯t facing the right way. Even if I was facing the sky I could still turn my head to see parts of the delta we were passing.

    Because Anore was not sticking to circling Bramble Watch any longer. It seemed like she was suddenly a bird on a mission. I didn¡¯t doubt that there¡¯d be some makeshift nest I¡¯d have to escape by the end of it.

    ¡°Needed a wash, girl?¡±

    I peered past Anore¡¯s head to find none other than Tufani peering at me from the saddle. The Tamer didn¡¯t seem at all surprised to see me or impressed by my antics. However, I struggled to contain my surprise. Even though I had asked Ingrasia to negotiate to bring some storm birds here to see if they would be as helpful as I thought, I hadn¡¯t expected Tufani to come along as well.

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be teaching the next cohort how to fly?¡±

    ¡°The birds come first!¡±

    Of course that was her answer. I had more questions, but shouting against the wind wasn¡¯t the best form of communication and I was missing my chance to see what was happening in the delta with my own eyes.

    The waterways still writhed with fish but the point they seemed centered on was closer to the sea. That was likely Juniper leading the horde on a merry chase through the delta. A second, smaller ball of concentrated fish were converging on the river mouth. It looked like something was blocking them from getting further up the river but I couldn¡¯t get a good look at what it was or why the river behind the block looked odd. We were too far from the shore for me to accurately gauge how things were going there, but the tribe¡¯s choke points and other defensives seemed to be holding up well given the circumstances. Perhaps with our new knowledge and resources they might not break before the fighting was through.

    I was shivering and trying to hide it by the time Anore landed outside the delta. The storm bird didn¡¯t let me go then either. She kept me in her beak while Tufani climbed out of the saddle, got the saddle off her, and then she waddled over to a nest of grass and twigs that wasn¡¯t as impressive as what she had been able to make in the Rookery. Anore settled into the nest and then tucked me right against her chest feathers. It didn¡¯t take long for me to stop shivering, but I knew that wouldn¡¯t be enough for the bird to let me go. Last time I had been in this position it had taken Tufani¡¯s say so for me to break free of the nest, but she didn¡¯t seem to be in any hurry to have Anore release me.

    I heard her taking care of the saddle, talking to someone, thumping this way and that with her cane while some of the birds called out to each other in the background. Just to test my theory, I tried to wiggle out of the makeshift nest, but Anore promptly tapped me on the head with her beak and then tucked me back into her feathers.

    This was one part of my grand plan to get into the sky that I should have been better prepared for. But I also wasn¡¯t to willing to admit that the thought of being in the air had overridden some of my planning ability. It had been years since I got to fly and the temptation had been to much to pass up, especially when it did have the potential to be the most efficient way to get around delta.

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    ¡°Warm?¡±

    I glanced up to see Tufani looking over the lip of the nest at me and nodded.

    She nodded back. ¡°Good. Anore will make sure you stay put. I need to check on the birds since you dragged us out to this place and then we can talk about what you expect and what my birds will actually do.¡±

    ¡°Did you leave someone back in Bramble Watch?¡±

    ¡°One of my feather hearts.¡± She held up her cane. ¡°Not so easy for me to get up and down those knotted ropes. She¡¯ll report back too.¡±

    She disappeared again and I had to grit my teeth against the time slipping away. I needed to gather all the information I could in order to finally take care of the horde in the delta, but I was still missing key bits. Between the birds and the crystals I had some ideas we could try but if Ambervale had betrayed the goddess then that was also something that needed to be taken care of sooner later and not ignored.

    Ideally, we would draw Ambervale out from wherever she was hiding and turn the crystals against the horde without any of them becoming an abomination, but the logistics of that was where I kept getting stuck. No matter what plan I came up with I couldn¡¯t deny that the delta was still a weak point waiting to be exploited. This situation had proved, crystals or no crystals, that with time, sheer numbers, and persistence the Lady Blue could push the delta¡¯s defenses to the brink and eventually break them. One way or another I was determined to take care of the horde this time, but it didn¡¯t sit right in my gut to then walk away for everything to be torn apart the next season.

    The delta was a gaping wound leading right to the heart of the goddess¡¯s territory and everything in me demanded that I find a way to fix it or excise the wound. Something permanent.

    Someone slipped into Anore¡¯s nest on silent feet. I tensed, but Anore¡¯s lack of reaction told me this wasn¡¯t likely an attack. Instead, the storm bird cocked her head and stared down at the intruder with a baleful eye.

    Kaylan just snuggled down further into the bird¡¯s feathers and let out a relaxed sigh. ¡°This is the life.¡±

    Anore gently took ahold of Kaylan¡¯s tunic with her beak, like she was going to pluck the whisper woman from her nest, but Kaylan cracked open an eye and stopped her. ¡°I¡¯ll get you two treats when I¡¯m back in the Rookery. The good ones that Tufani keeps hidden.¡±

    Anore kept her beak in place and Kaylan grinned. ¡°Fine. Three. You drive a hard bargain.¡±

    With that Anore let her go and made sure she was adequately tucked in. I was still trying to figure out how Kaylan had found me and why she had appeared now after disappearing.

    Finally finished settling in Kaylan glanced over at me. ¡°Heard you went through a tough scrape, glad to see you¡¯re recovering. I owe you a story and a tour.¡±

    ¡°How did you find me? And what happened with the person that caused you to run off in the first place?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°Listened in at the right time. Are you still interested in hearing about the last time a Chosen was picked?¡±

    I narrowed my eyes at her. It was obvious that she was avoiding answering my second question, but I also didn¡¯t have any leverage to get her to tell me. Putting aside that particular curiosity for the moment, I asked, ¡°What happened?¡±

    Kaylan rested her head on one hand. ¡°This was nearly ten years ago now. I had become a whisper woman a couple years before. Unlike this time, no one expected the Chosen to ascend to the Silver Forest. She had been healthy and wasn¡¯t a thorn in anyone¡¯s side¡ªa neutral party that helped to balance the more aggressive voices in the Chosens¡¯ circle. One day everything was normal and the next she was found crumpled among the Seedling Palace¡¯s roots.¡±

    Kaylan swallowed, cleared her throat. ¡°Some suspected foul play, but no one could say that outright since the goddess didn¡¯t punish anyone for stepping into Her domain. It was decided that she had slipped from a path in the Palace and fell to her death.

    ¡°In those days, the whisper women were focused inward, even more so than we are now. The fish had only begun to barely stir from the depths, missions to the other territory were few and far between as Ingrasia was still figuring out the balance of training her team and spying, and few of us bothered to have any contact with the tribes. We had grown used the peace your patron created and all that mattered was rank and achievements. Your sect versus everyone else. There were hundreds of us with blessings and boons and nothing distract us from ourselves. Desperate to prove ourselves and not feel futile when there was nothing to fight and nothing to spy on. The only clear goal was to reach as high as you could: become a Sect Leader, High Priestess, one of the Chosen.¡±

    This story was more personal than I expected it to be. I rarely thought about what it had been like in the Seedling Palace before I came to Seed Landing. There had been too much happening, and what history and stories I did focus on tended to belong to the more distant past.

    ¡°There was no time to rally behind pre-picked candidates,¡± Kaylan continued. ¡°Everyone tried to claim the Chosen¡¯s spot for themselves. Nothing was off limits except for overstepping the goddess¡¯s domain, but even then accidents happened. More than one whisper woman slipped from great heights or ate something she shouldn¡¯t or were crippled in the fighting. Grudges were settled, and the goddess just watched. Even sect heads and seconds participated. It was chaos. Proxy wars would crop up over practically nothing to the point that when fish did nibble at the shore we ended up fighting each other over the right to defeat them more than actually killing the fish. That more than anything probably let the Lady Blue know we were ripe for the picking. We were destroying ourselves.¡±

    She smiled self-depreciatingly. ¡°Fair to say it was like what you expected this proxy war to be. Little loyalty, no trust, and we all got nowhere from it just like I warned you. In the end, the goddess played us all for fools, as She does. She Chose someone who stayed out of all the fighting and backstabbing, the mind games and false promises and spying. Another neutral party.¡±

    We were silent for a while as I absorbed what she said. I asked, ¡°And you think this time will be different?¡±

    She nodded and then looked me right in the eyes. ¡°The goddess spoke to you. That makes all the difference.¡±

    I remembered how still Esie had gotten when I told her that detail. Perhaps I should have kept that tidbit closer to my chest, but it hadn¡¯t seemed that different from when I felt Her gaze when my blessing acted up and I had felt how small, if still overwhelming, that bit of attention had been.

    I tried to make Kaylan understand. ¡°It was barely anything.¡±

    Her eyes still bore into me. ¡°The goddess only speaks to Her Chosen and Her Beloved. It is enough.¡± She focused back on the sky and let out a breath. ¡°Last time we broke ourselves because we forgot who the true decision maker was and Her nature. This time we know where the true threats lie and were Her interest might be.¡±

    ¡°You participated in the last Succession War?¡± I knew the answer based on how she told her story but I wanted to see what else she might say.

    ¡°I did. I was used. Others knew of my blessing and ambitions. They can¡¯t advantage of either anymore.¡±

    We fell silent again. Perhaps there was more to Kaylan¡¯s laziness than I initially thought.

    ¡°And this is a farce of a proxy war because you all aren¡¯t going to fight me for the candidacy?¡±

    ¡°We are here to support the true candidate.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure whether to be pleased or queasy at the sentiment. Conflict was much more familiar than whatever that meant.

    ¡°How did you manage to keep the other whisper women out?¡±

    Kaylan had no problem looking pleased with herself. ¡°We might not be aiming for your spot, but we have influence.¡± And then tacked on the end as if I might miss it. ¡°And this place was considered a lost cause. No one wanted to be saddled with a failure, so they were more than happy to let Esie take a stab at it and hurt her chances in the process.¡±

    ¡°They think she¡¯s the one you all are backing?¡±

    Kaylan raised her eyebrows at me, all innocent. ¡°Who else but the Lady of Calm Waters favorite? A well connected, well known, and highly influential whisper woman that doesn¡¯t have any interest in becoming Sect head. One of the Chosen is the logical other choice in their minds.¡±

    ¡°But Prevna came and Esie said it was to help a Chosen candidate,¡± I protested.

    She nodded. ¡°Some will know that means you, others might just think you were causing trouble for Esie and she needed Prevna to get you in line. But regardless, the original assumption has done its job. We have control over the area.¡±

    ¡°And you think I can make this not a lost cause?¡±

    ¡°I think you¡¯re good at surprising me.¡±

    I guess we would see if I could surprise us both.

 Book 5 - Ch. 52: Tufanis Requirements

    Anore let me go once Tufani came back to collect me. The Tamer didn¡¯t seem surprised to see Kaylan snuggled in next to me, but she wasn¡¯t pleased by it either. Her gaze ran over Kaylan like she thought the whisper woman might be hiding something as Anore plucked Kaylan up and set her outside the nest. Apparently, she was only allowed in there as long as I was¡ªgiven how keen Anore was to mother me and the rest of the seedlings it made me wonder what she did to make the bird impatient with her.

    ¡°What did you promise her this time?¡± Tufani asked.

    Kaylan displayed perfect nonchalance. ¡°My wonderful company.¡±

    ¡°If any of my stores go missing I¡¯ll blame you and Anore will have to go without extras for a week.¡±

    Anore squawked but Kaylan shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s not a problem. I¡¯m sure your stores will be just as organized as always and everyone will be happy.¡±

    Tufani obviously didn¡¯t believe her, but they set aside their well worn argument to focus back on the more immediate situation. Anore stayed in her nest but I could feel her watching us as we walked away. Tufani led us around the makeshift nests and the handful of other people in the area until we reached a large tent.

    Tufani clicked her tongue as we stepped inside. ¡°Never liked these things. It could get blown away with one wrong wing flap.¡±

    The tent was standard as far as I could tell. Insulating hide, reeds and rope to make the rounded frame, a couple cushions to sit on and a bed roll. A traveling pack and few other things helped to fill in the space, but it was clear that Tufani had the tent to herself when at least a family of four could have lived in this tent without piling on top of each other to sleep. Of course, she had a whole hut to mostly to herself back in the Rookery, so perhaps her standards were different.

    Kaylan rolled her eyes as she snagged one of the cushions and plopped down. ¡°Almost everyone lives in a tent. They can stand up to the worst storm winds¡­as long as they are put up properly.¡±

    Tufani gestured back toward the tent flap. ¡°You can go check my work.¡±

    I didn¡¯t think Kaylan would do it, but something passed between that I couldn¡¯t catch. Something I didn¡¯t have the proper context for or know them well enough to understand. It irritated me, but I held my tongue. It could have been as simple as Tufani wanting to talk to me alone¡ªthough that was a little pointless given Kaylan¡¯s blessing¡ªand I could pry into the minor mystery when I wasn¡¯t pressed for time. Shifting the crystals around in the delta had shaken what balance we had maintained before, and now we needed to act on a next step before the balance shifted again out of our control.

    Kaylan pushed herself back to her feet and tossed me the cushion she had been sitting on. ¡°See you in a bit. There¡¯s still that tour I should show you.¡±

    She slipped past me and exited the tent. I settled down where she had been while Tufani sat on the remaining cushion and rested her cane at her side.

    ¡°You wish for us to fight.¡± Tufani¡¯s words were like a stone plunging into a still pool. Not quite an accusation, but with more feeling than simply stating a fact.

    ¡°I do.¡± I raised my eyebrows. ¡°You¡¯re here.¡±

    ¡°Traditionally, fighting belongs to whisper women. You bear the goddess¡¯s special marks, Her interest and authority. Our birds might transport you when shadows are scarce, but some might see us assuming a whisper woman¡¯s authority should we fight.¡±

    ¡°The Swirling Waters tribe fights.¡±

    ¡°They have special circumstances.¡±

    ¡°So do you.¡±

    Tufani spread her hands in front of her palms up. ¡°If we break tradition, then that opens us up to other commands. The Peacekeepers could drag us into battles or the other sects might make demands outside transport. There¡¯s only so many birds. If we get pulled into situations that we can¡¯t refuse then there could come a time when there aren¡¯t birds available when they¡¯re needed.¡±

    ¡°It sounds like you¡¯re refusing right now.¡±

    The corner of her mouth twitched up into a smile before she smoothed her expression back out, eyes boring into me. ¡°Your request is a risk, but we are here.¡±

    ¡°What do you want?¡±

    ¡°A liaison. A dedicated whisper woman who can refuse requests for us or bring our concerns to the necessary parties and be heard. Someone who can handle any problems that might arise from this.¡± Tufani lifted her chin higher. ¡°And assistance capturing wild storm birds. If we go forward with this we will need to diversify and increase the flock.¡±

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    I had to work to keep my expression calm. It was true that I hadn¡¯t thought much beyond the idea that the storm birds would be effective against the fish and she was raising valid concerns. I could name at least a handful of whisper women off the top of my head that wouldn¡¯t appreciate the Rookery folks stepping beyond their typical role or that would seek to use them. But it was also true that there were only so many whisper women and that, as the delta showed, doing things the same way we always had, when the horde was changing and adapting, wouldn¡¯t work in perpetuity.

    However, what was the most baffling was that Tufani seemed to think I had any say in whether she got a liaison or help capturing birds or not. It had only been about two years since I was training under her tutelage in the Rookery. I might be a Chosen candidate but I had yet to win a proxy war and all my infamy was more likely to be a hindrance than help.

    ¡°Did you speak to Ingrasia about your requests?¡±

    ¡°Requirements,¡± Tufani corrected me. ¡°Or I won¡¯t be able to comply with your request and we¡¯ll fly back home. The risk to the birds and my people would be too great.¡±

    I held back a sigh. ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°She said you need to get used to negotiations like this and that I should bring my concerns to the idea¡¯s originator.¡± Lacking her cane to thump, Tufani slapped her thigh. ¡°She was correct. If you¡¯re going to have the audience you¡¯re after, you¡¯ll want to practice controlling the conversation.¡±

    My attention sharpened. ¡°She mentioned that?¡±

    ¡°It was necessary for me to consider your proposal. If you can secure the audience and then my requirements during it, I will commit this testing force to your fight. Otherwise, in the meantime, we will help with transport and surveillance as we always have.¡±

    ¡°Is that all?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all.¡±

    I pressed for more information. ¡°Barra can¡¯t act as your liaison?¡±

    Tufani shook her head. ¡°Not for this. She has her hands full. We would need someone who can focus on who¡¯s requesting what and that can push back if the requests aren¡¯t suitable. I would do it, but without black lips I can only do so much.¡±

    She said the last bit without the resentment I would have expected, but she wasn¡¯t resigned to the realities of her situation either. I didn¡¯t doubt that Tufani would stand up to any whisper woman that threatened her people or birds even if it meant she¡¯d pay for the disrespect later. She knew where she stood in the scheme of things even if she might push the boundary when she was sure it was needed.

    I asked, ¡°You want a whisper woman dedicated to managing other whisper women¡¯s complaints for you? About where the birds might fight or not? When you already have Barra?¡±

    ¡°Would that be too difficult for you, girl?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll see what I can do.¡±

    It¡¯d be a near impossible find. Barra¡¯s position was rare enough, and that was mainly due to the blessing she received. To find a second whisper woman to help directly with the Rookery when there was already plenty for whisper women to keep busy with¡­well, the idea was far-fetched at best.

    But the challenge was interesting in its own right.

    "I have my own requirement though.¡± I couldn¡¯t approach this deal as a Sapling, accepting simply because someone with higher authority insisted. ¡°If I meet your stipulations then you will give higher priority to my requests over other whisper women.¡±

    ¡°Succeed and the deal is struck,¡± Tufani confirmed.

    I kept the surprise off my face that she accepted my terms so easily, but likely she didn¡¯t think I¡¯d actually succeed with my next round of negotiations. Which, even if I didn¡¯t want to admit it was fair.

    I had plenty I wanted to ask the High Priestess and not much to trade in terms of favors. Luckily, meeting Tufani¡¯s requirements didn¡¯t necessarily require her permission, though it would make it easier to convince a whisper woman to relocate and others to provide assistance capturing wild storm birds.

    Tufani and I left the tent now that our discussion was finished. Kaylan cracked open an eye from where she was sitting a short distance away and then pushed herself to her feet with a sigh. ¡°Ready to get going?¡±

    I nodded.

    Tufani got us set up on another storm bird since Anore was resting. The saddle still wasn¡¯t made for two riders, so once again I found myself tucked under an arm and squeezing to the side as much as possible to lessen contact. It seemed like Kaylan was going to offer that we sit upright, but the words died in her throat under the Tamer¡¯s glare. She wasn¡¯t about to let Kaylan and I go off ¡°trick¡± riding when the storm birds¡¯ presence here was already tenuous at best, and we weren¡¯t willing to test how close she was to calling her people back home to the Rookery.

    So, we got settled on our stomachs in the saddle and suffered through the extra long, bouncing, jangling run the storm bird needed to get up in the air without a cliff. As soon as we were up in the air and the flight leveled off though Kaylan did shift onto her knees and I followed suit so she still controlled our flight in the back half of the saddle and I could see past the bird¡¯s wings and neck in the front.

    I watched as the delta swept by below us. It didn¡¯t take long for the storm bird to cover what would have taken us hours to traverse on the raised pathways and I watched with rapt attention as the delta¡¯s river mouth came into view.

    At first, I wasn¡¯t sure what I was looking at. I had expected to see a regular, if wide, river breaking into smaller branches as the water was forced to flow around the thick stands of trees and other vegetation filling the delta. But that wasn¡¯t the case.

    Instead, that regular river was further back and where the river mouth should have been there was a wide, oddly shaped pool that was abruptly cut off by a long mound of dirt that separated the pool from the delta. Some water still flowed out through channels cut into the mound, but most of the water that should have been flowing into the delta was being held back. Some of the conversations I had overheard suddenly made more sense, but it was also a small wonder that the whisper women had put this together in such a short amount of time. It wasn¡¯t something that could last, not with the sheer amount of water flowing down the river from the First Shore Lake and other tributaries. Eventually, the pressure would increase to the point that the dam would get washed away, but when it did the rush of water pouring into the delta could flush the fish out into the sea.

    Not a permanent solution, but a powerful one.

    It didn¡¯t take long before we were circling down towards the stretch of land between the pool and delta. Kaylan and I braced against the storm bird¡¯s awkward landing. It was finally time for me to understand with my own ears and eyes what was happening at the delta¡¯s river mouth.